Sentence,English_Translation
@someUSER congratulations on you celebrating british kid singers sophia grace's and rosie's 1st anniversary of a visit of your show .  how,@some users congratulate you for celebrating British kid singers Sophia Grace's and Rosie's 1st anniversary visit of your show
@LoKarDi_RT uske liye toh bahot kuch karna padega ye pappiyon se kaam nahi chalega #ForTheSakeOfHumanity,"@Lokardi_ rat we should a lot more for that, by this evi people nothing will happen #ForTheSakeOfHumanity"
@slimswamy yehi to hum semjhane ki koshish kar rahe hain. Log to sab kuch ko issi mein tol dete hain. Context:http://www.opindia.com/2015/02/buzzfeed-editor-tries-to-make-political-tweets-you-wont-believe-what-happened-next/ …,"@Slimswami ehi, this is what i'm expecting you to understand, people invest everything in this isnt it."
@DramebaazKudi cake kaha hai ??,@Where is Dramebajakudi where is the cake?
@someUSER i'm in hawaii at the moment .  home next friday night .  don't want to come home .,@some user Don't want to come home next friday because I am in the Hawai at the moment  
Jeet ka jashn aur shubah ki shuruat — eating bread pakoda at Tandon's Cottage Vaishali Damoh https://t.co/ix2dB9b1Iv,the celebration of a victory and the start of the day. eating bread pakoda at tandon's cottage vaishali damoh https://t.co/ix2dB9b1lv
1 sookha puri aur dena bhaiyapic.twitter.com/FvLEv3onxZ,brother could you please give me one more dry puri.Twitter.com/ Favlave 3xx
"Matlab tum Karishma nahin Raveena ho? Aur woh jo Karishma thi, woh ab kahan ravana hai? https://twitter.com/The_Karishma/status/499234729262997506?s=03 …",so that means you are karishma but not raveena? and where did the one with name of karishma go?  Http: //twitter.com/the_karishma/states/499234729262997506? S = 03…
"Sachai ki jeet hogayi
*aankho mein aansoo*","truth won, and it lead to my happy tears."
@Vyomnaut sahi me yaar,@Vyomnaut right man
kaun hai ye zaleel insaan?,who is this sad guy?
"Haan, uske khidki khuli thi jismein se baburao jhaank raha tha.","Yes, his window was open from which Baburao was peeping."
yaar confess karte ho ya torture  .  .  .  itna bada bada confession,Dude why are you trying to torture us by those big big confessions of yours. 
"@LoKarDi_RT Tujhe sign up kar ke 1000 rs mere account me daalne padenge, tab hi recharge ho payega. ","@Locardi_rat you should first sign up and send 1000rs to my account, then and only the recharge is done."
"Miss u msd "" aadat ho gayi hai aapko captain dekhte hue .. #Dhoni","Miss you MSD ""Got used to seeing you captain .. #Dhoni"""
"note ye application google playstore se download hogi  ,  toh fake toh ho hi nahi sakti ""  .  .  . ","Note this application will be downloaded from Google Playstore, it cannot be fake."
bas kabhi ghamand nahi kiya.,i did not ever show cased my ego.
Ye bhasha kahan se sikha hai?,Where did you learn this language?
@dhaval241086 sure bhai :),@ dhaval241086 sure brother :)
"@MohitParmarr ye kaun se channel par aur kab aata hai? Batao, zara hum bhi toh dekhe!","@MohitParamar on which channel and when does it appear? Tell me, let's see too!"
agar ayesi he baat hai toh peechley 15 saalo se bjp waaley congress ke khilaf apna 'prattyashi' kyu khara kartey thein delhi vidhansabha election mein .  .  .  ?,if it is the case why did the BJP candidates oppose the congress people for past 15 years in delhi  legislative assembly elections.
@YouDontKnowWho_ kya hogaya aisa?,@Yodontaknowhow_What happened?
unhone pehle pic ni dkhi ti kya tmhari jo milne k baad hi ignore kia tmhe  .   .   .   ?,didnt he saw your pic before meeting then why did he ignore you.
"mai to itne games me b bas ninja turtles ,  street fighter ,  car race and mario khel kar khush tha baki games par dhyan dene ka tym kiske pas tha :-d","I was happy to play  Ninja Turtles, Street Fighter, Car Race and Mario among all other games, and not at all interested in remaining games: -D"
@GhantaGuy is rishtewaad se azaadi,@Gantagay freedom from relations
Bahut log hai jo aapse baat karna chahte hai..plzzzzzz dn't brk thr hearts sir plzzzz,There are a lot of people who want to talk to you..Please Dont break their hearts sir please
ab voh bola jisne kisi bhi party ko support karne se mana kardiya tha .  . a flop show annaji,Now say that he had a desire to support any party. . A flop show brother
@whycarewho kone wale plot me jagah zyada hoti hai :),@Wickerho corner plot has more space :)
sala #olympics k game bhare rehte the isme  .  .  .  .  dhokebaaz >_<,brother # Olympics games were full in this. . . . Cheater> _ <
cha cha ? ab seedha #Trump nazar aane laga ? Kasab se Trump tak ?, Now Trump appears straight away? From Kasab to Trump?
Bahot time baad suna ye! Achha laga,Heard this after a long time! It was nice
"kuch nahi samjha kabhi, itne saare cheezon se deal karna aata toh shayad life mein succesfull hota.","Never understood anything, if I know how to deal with all these stuff then i would be sucessful already"
@iamGunjanGrunge Tharak saale har ladki ko mention karna hai tujhe @brawling_virago @Atheist_Krishna,@TimGunjanGarungay pervert brat you are the one to mention all the girls@ brawling_virgo @atheist_krishna
@thisisAparajita sahi hai :(,@ Thesisparjita is correct :(
@Alllahdin Aaj match hai na? Ki kal?,@Allahdin is there a match today or is it postponed to tommorow?
yaar tum ladke inne senti krne wale kaam kyu krte ho  ?  ?  ?  :'(,"Dude, why do you boys mdo those things that makes her sentimental? : '("
@Annu__k text karo phr dekhtay hain, @ annu__k  first of all text it then we will figure out later
@mamtan14 didi abhi apni me time hai ,)
"Abe Congressiyon, Nigerians bhi insaan hote hain, bandar nahin. Kyon itna bura maan gaye.","hello Mr congressians, nigerians are also humans, not monkeys. Why did you feel so bad?"
oct 30 its goin down at the congress theater i will be performing along wit machine gun kelly !  !  !  !  http/URL,oct 30 it's going down at the congress theater i will be performing along with machine gun kelly ! ! ! ! http/URL
kitne dukh ki baat hai na :(,How sad it is:(
#TripleTalaq ho ya Divorce usshme koi matvate /Rajnetic Na hona chahiye. Mahilayo ke ke liye sharaph ke saman hi hai. Triple Talaq ko roke.,"whether it might be triple talaq or anything there should not be a political side in the divorce of a women.Triple Talaq is like a bane for women,so stop the triple talaq bill."
tum ye karoge mere saath? Maine aaj tak tumhe kuch ulta bhi kahan hai? Hadh hoti hai,Will you do this to me? did i say anything that hurts you till now? there is a limit for everything
w…ise tu boli nai ki hai kaha se,you didn't tell me where you are from.
luncher paaji pehle chai k saath biscuit kha rahe the .  .,Luncher uncle was earlier eating biscuits with tea...
"@aanchalator toh phir theek hai, aise kisi Ladki ke T-shirt mein kuch bhi kaise daal sakta hai koi?","@Chonchlor ok then, how can anyone put anything in such a girl's t-shirt?"
@twinitisha phir to twitter walon ki khush-naseebi hai :),@Twyneetisha ohh then the people who use twitter are the happiest :)
Happy Birthday Dhoni & Hello to Sakshi bhabhi. Aur baaki sab khairiyat?,Happy Birthday Dhoni & Hello To Sakshi sister in law. And is everyone fine over there.
"LOL, phenk deta to bechare ka phir kat jaata bill, isiliye lauta diya chup chaap. #EkBhaiKeLiye","Lol, if you threw it, he would had a breakup once again so i returned it to him silently .#Forabrother"
"Did Arun Lal say, ""Ye dekhiye Bangladeshi player khushi se apne andkosh takra rahe hain""","Did Arun Lal Se, ""See Bangladeshi Players Happily Banging Their Testicles """""
Sab kuch sahi chal raha tha life mai .. par Achanak Sony TV Dilwale movie ka telecast karne vali hai aaj raat ... why .. why ??,Everything was going well in life .. but suddenly Sony TV is going to telecast the movie Dilwale tonight ... why .. why ??
@Atheist_Krishna bhai bas kya hamesha Sunny Leone dikhau..,@Atheist_krishna brother should i just show sunny leone always..
@narendramodi kuch pata hai students ke mehenge din agaye hai?? #gst laga diya hai bas kuch socha tha pehle?,"@Narendramodi, do you know the students are having the costliest days?? every thing has #gst did he think about it before?"
@Gott_Partikel aankh band karte hi shruti hassan nazar aati hai :(,@Got_Particle Shruti Haasan appears as soon as I closes my eyes :(
@pandyas0599 Gud mrng sir aapko Mahashivratri ki hardik mangalkamnaye :),@panyas0599 good morning sir greetings for mahashivaratri.
amazing day today .  i can't wait for tomorrow, i get my braces then movie night at my bf's house with rosa &amp
"Sorry, mujhe laga raat ke 11.30 baje hai.","sorry, I thought it was 11:30 night"
Phone ka wallpaper dekhte dekhte zindagi kat rahi hai.,Im spending my life seeing my phones wallpaper
@sayshardik @pintubaba_ Ye baatli chahiye mujhe :(,@sayshardik @pintubaba_ I want this bucket
#NoteBandi mein Temporary Ban to lag Chuka hai 0 Koi baat nahin hai !,"#NoteBandi got a temperary ban. So, its not a problem!"
"Toh phir toh achhi baat hai nahi, mitthaiyan khilao!","So, it is good news. Feed sweet."
"OMG kisi ne RT spree diya saalo baad.. Thanks @SahiDisha 

*khushi ke aansu*pic.twitter.com/P75DZ5jPkk","OMG someone spreed RT after years... Thanks @SahiDisha 

*tears of happiness*pic.twitter.com/P75DZ5jPkk"
Brilliant Answer By Boy Friend on Break Up … . Girl , Tumhe Mere Jaisi Ladki Nahi Milegi . . . . . Boy 
.@RanaAyyub ye Amit bhai ne nahi Muhammad Ali ne kaha tha pagli,.@RanaAyyub It was said by Muhammad Ali not Amit.
"Please follow @SaleemChikna & @sayshardik, ye log free mein daaru pilaate hai. #AaiShappath","Please follow @SaleemChikna & @sayshardik, These people give free drinks. #AaiShappath"
@Perrignrr  ye kya hai?,@Perrignrr  What is this?
Haar aur Jeet to khel ka hissa hai. Ye wala bahut din taklif dega wo kissa hai.,winning or losing is a part of game. This story gives longterm stress
@Kahaanify hamari kashti wahan doobi jahan paani kam tha,@Kahaanify Our ship will sink where the water is less
@sagarcasm abhi bhi hu ,'(
@BeingMSD mera motive kuch aur tha,@BeingMSD my motive was different.
err @DefucktiveHumor ye le ek aur.,@BeingMSD  here take another.
@RoflGandhi_ @infinite_aMy Guru ji ko pehchanne se inkar karne wale logon ko Pakistani visa ke sath passport muft diya jaaye. Pranam.,@RoflGandhi_ @infinite_aMy the people who cant recognize Guruji will get a pakistani visa and a free passport. 
"Yaar, koi ye bata do ke yeh ladki hai kaun?https://twitter.com/Sarcaism_/status/733178336147562496 …",somebody tell me who this girl is?https://twitter.com/Sarcaism_/status/733178336147562496 …
.@sagarikaghose haan khush ho jaa Pakistani @IndianExpress,.@sagarikaghose go be happy Pakistani @IndianExpress
_/\_ SIR. Rulaoge kya?,_/\_ Are you making us cry?
@MildlyClassic India aur Sri lanka ek hi hai sir,@MildlyClassic India and Sri Lanka both are same.
ultimate yarrr .  .  .  .  just love it,"ultimate my friend,i just loved it."
@narendramodi ISI ko bulao vote dene ke liye,@narendramodi call ISI to give their votes.
"Bas aise hi reviews ki zaroorat hai, kaafi protsahan milta hai in baaton se. ","I just need reviews like these,this motivates me a lot"
"@akshaykanitkar Sahi hai, bada aadmi hai tu. Kya chal raha hai? Kab milna?","@akshaykanitkar u have become a famous person,whats going on? when do we meet?"
"ye bohot pehle ho chuka hai https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/595267739297587200 …
@Dukhi_Engineer","This happened long back. https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/595267739297587200 …
@Dukhi_Engineer"
Salmannnnn aaa intezaar idhar ? tere liye ?,"salman come here, I am waiting"
@PratMitt @GabbbarSingh @c_aashish arey kabhi kabhi toh aap dhang ki baat karte ho :P,@PratMitt @GabbbarSingh @c_aashish you rarely talk about sensible things. :P
@BUnlimted hahaha.. Bhai @Champ_Nikk  shave kar lena,@BUnlimted hahaha.. brother@Champ_Nikk  shave 
@huh_watnow mujhe to bas ek tera sahara hai..,@huh_watnow you are the only one for me.
@nickhunterr hahaa.. Matlab ab date yaad dilaoge  @twinitisha,@nickhunterr hahaa.. Now you will make me remember the date  @twinitisha
@Bihar_ke_lala khusi hui tumhara janamdin aaya,@Bihar_ke_lala  Iam happy that your birthday has come.
use to gate se bahar hote hi utarna compulsory tha .  .  .  ,) :d
kahi rajnikant to nhi tha .  .,was he Rajnikant by any chnace.
@sureshnakhua maan hi nahi rahe hai,@sureshnakhua isnt agreeing at all
Keerthi ! lets open a NGO together ! toote dil ke marezon ke liyea,Keerthi ! lets open a NGO together ! for the heartbroken patients.
india kbhi bhi china ko peeeche nhi kr paaega.....,india can never go past china
That Spin ! Ravi Ashwin . Kuch nai ho sakta bhai Africa ka World Cups mei .. #Mauka #IndvsSA #cwc15,That Spin ! Ravi Ashwin . nothing can happen for africa in the world cups.. #Mauka #IndvsSA #cwc15
t . v . off guddu: mummy .  .  .  .  . khane me kya hai .,t.v off guddu: mummy whats there to eat?
chalk churane ka bhi apna maza tha .  . :),stealing chalks was also some kind of fun 
"ji bilkul, iss baat ka toh inkaar nahi kar sakte.","yeah sure, we cant deny this ."
"Sabko bacha kaho,sirf mere ilawa ok","call everyone a kid except me ,ok"
@sahilmjain ek nahi mili ab tak </3,@sahilmjain didnt find atleast one till now </3
@Babu_Bhaiyaa mujhe bhi dena zara 5 rs ke.. Bhookh lagi hai,"@Babu_Bhaiyaa I am hungry too ,give me something for 5rs."
"bahut badiya ,  bahut hi undaa ,  kya baat ,  kya baat .  dil jit liya tune toh .  .  .  :d","very good,amazing,you have won my heart."
"Everyone on TL is thanking their Moms.. Bhai aiyaashi karne ke paise to Papa hi dete hai na.. 

#ThankYouPapa","Everyone on TL is thanking their Moms..but your dad gives you money to have fun right? 

#ThankYouPapa"
@iamGunjanGrunge Tanmay jail ko hi kha jata ,)
"@BolshoyBooze Shakti bechara kabhi kuch bolta nahi hai, he is like a husband eve n before marriage.",@BolshoyBooze So sad of Mr Shakthi because he never speaks out just like the husband before the marriage.
Phone dekhne mein taqleef hai kya?,Is it problamatic for you to see the phone?
@balliawalebaba bas badiya sab.. Upar wale ka sahara hai.. Abhi chai pee rahe hai :),"@balliawalebaba All good mate, now i'm drinking the tea just because of gods grace"
"@rsairajeswari Zamana kharaab hai.. Shine lajawaab hai: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI … #LagGayiVaat 
Shine",@rsairajeswari 
"@Ra_Bies Hello saadu saahab (senior bro in law), ki haal chaal?","hello senior,hows everything going on?"
jabatdast dost .  .  .  .  1 page me rula diya yaar .  .  .  .  . kamaal hai .  .  .  . superb nd hatss off to ur crearivity .  .  .,"amazing my friend you  made me cry with that one page,hats off to your creativity"
@MissKhushiSen mujhe laga sab bhool gaye honge #SENTI,@MissKhushiSen i thought everybody forgot about it #SENTI
Salman khan kaha ho?,where are you salman khan?
@MeetUunngLee pagal aurat hai,@MeetUunngLee she is a crazy lady.
atleast jise thand lagti ho use de diya karo :),atleast give it to someone who is feeling cold.
"Hiii sir , aapse milne kaa sirf ek maaukaa chaahtaa hu.  ....",hello sir i just want one chance to meet you.
"... abhi aayega rukiye "" @mehrishisumati : Once upon a time there was a hashtag #RailBudget2015 ""","... now its going to come wait "" @mehrishisumati : Once upon a time there was a hashtag #RailBudget2015 """
@Ojasism bhai aajkal sab ke paas 4-4 car hai.. Ab to kisi series me Helicopter gift hoga tab maza aayega,@Ojasism bhai aajkal now days everybody has 4 cars.it would be fun to see helicopters being gifted in tv series.
Aaj Indrani ka kitne naye patiyo ka pata chala.. Koi update karega?,can anyone update me about how many husbands of indrani have been discovered?
"@loveOKplease kuch nahi, ek tweet padh ke gussa aa gaya :/","@loveOKplease i got angry reading one tweet,nothing else.:/"
cheapest nahi pucha. Best pucha hai.,I didnt ask for the cheapest .I asked for the best
YE DEKH LO DUNIYA WALO..https://twitter.com/Winkerbell_/status/661805356947927040 …,see this the people of the world..https://twitter.com/Winkerbell_/status/661805356947927040 …
Aaj kal yeh hi bikta hai bhai!,this only gets sold these days brither.
Dhoni bhai ek din ball tod hi denge!,dhoni will someday break the ball.
"Bhai kuch kal ke liye bhi chhod de..

RT @EconomicTimes #KejriwalTakesOath: I hope that India wins the World Cup","Brother leave something for tomorrow.

RT @EconomicTimes #KejriwalTakesOath: I hope that India wins the World Cup"
missing dat tym .  .  .  happy new year all .  .  .  .,missing that time .Happy New Year  to all
i love my girl evelyn at work she switched shifts with me saturday:),I love my girl evelyn at work she switched shifts with me on saturday:)
"Hi Congress, today do we have Rajiv Gandhi Janma Diwas Sabko Daru Free Party Yojana?","Hi Congress, today do we have Rajiv Gandhi Janma diwas Free alcoholParty scheme?"
sooo creative .  .  u guys r awsummm .  :),so creative you guys are creative :)
Bahot hi undaa!https://twitter.com/Madan_Chikna/status/654533563803660289 …,very high level!https://twitter.com/Madan_Chikna/status/654533563803660289 …
@Alllahdin Ye dekh! pic.twitter.com/mf0QwulkQe,@Alllahdin see this! pic.twitter.com/mf0QwulkQe
@MirrorCracklin mujhe toh nahi aaya phone :'(,@MirrorCracklin I didnt get the phone :'(
"Rahul Gandhi kuch bhi kar le, log use Pappu hi samjhenge.","whatever rahul gandhi does ,people will still think he is a Pappu "
Aj ya #windies larkia leke jaegi ya boys .. :) #WT20 #WIvENG #AusWvWIW #WT20Final,today this #windies will take home girls or boys .. :) #WT20 #WIvENG #AusWvWIW #WT20Final
@Dipti1104 bahut bold hain aap,@Dipti1104 You are very bold.
RT @ShraddhaKapoor : Cine stars ki khoj in #Atsu & #Zara ! #Haider #2ndOct @tanya1ghavri http://t.co/BznIyUfZ9d,RT @ShraddhaKapoor : the search for cine stars in #Atsu & #Zara ! #Haider #2ndOct @tanya1ghavri http://t.co/BznIyUfZ9d
"Chain ik pal nahi "" aur koi hal nahi "" #Jio ni ~ Other operators 0",i dont get peace for a second and there's no solution for that.
how do y'all feel about moving presidents day to august ?  august lacks a three day weekend .  then make lincoln's b-day a day off too .  #boom,how do you all feel about moving presidents day to august ? august lacks a three day weekend . then make lincoln's birthday a day off too . #boom
@SrBachchan sir aap badal gaye ho. Aajkal milte hi nahi ho. Kitna wait kiya aapka ghar ke bahar,@SrBachchan sir you have changed.you dont meet up these days.I waited outside your house for so long
"@akshaykanitkar @Ra_Bies @Oinkoo Sunil, tu aur main Janta mein jaa kar piyenge","@akshaykanitkar @Ra_Bies @Oinkoo Sunil, lets drink in the public."
"@tweetofdeb @twinitisha nahi liya hai, not worth it","@tweetofdeb @twinitisha hasnt been taken , not worth it"
aur free wifi bhi wahi hai. Lol,and there's free wifi over there too Lol.
@AksharPathak jokeya .... accha kiya,@AksharPathak  u did well.
guddu k papa toh emotional ho gye .  .  .  .,guddu's father got emotional
"@Vipul_tweets_ kya yaar, sarcasm nahi samajhte  @vivanair @Zahriano",@Vipul_tweets_ you dont understand sarcasm my friend  @vivanair @Zahriano
"Tu hai meri kiran'

~Me, to sunshine","you are my light'

~Me, to sunshine"
"""Mhari chhoriyan chhoron se kam hain ke?""https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/813728641943293953 …","""are our girls lesser than the boys?""https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/813728641943293953 …"
@BUnlimted Baby holiday Gabbar jaisi awesome movies akki hi kar sakta hai.. #WeLoveAkshay  @aamir_nation @akshay_airlift @aamir_khan,"@BUnlimted awesome movies like Baby,Holiday,Gabbar can be done only by akki. #WeLoveAkshay  @aamir_nation @akshay_airlift @aamir_khan"
"RG : Mom mujhe budget budget khelna hai Mom : Beta , tumhare women empowerment khelneke din hai RG : yaay ! ringa ringa roses #RahulOnLeave","RG : Mom I want to play ""budget budget"" mom : son ,now its the time to play women empowerment. RG: yaay ! ringa ringa roses #RahulOnLeave"
@kavitabika Aus ke kya layee mere liye,@kavitabika what did you get me from australia
@chatpatidiary tum itne teekhe kyun hote ho mere saath? Kya kiya hai maine?,@chatpatidiary why do you get annoyed by me?what did I do?
@Babu_Bhaiyaa @KyaUkhaadLega Sir hamara kya hoga hum bhii na haar jaaen kahi,@Babu_Bhaiyaa @KyaUkhaadLega 
.@SRKswarrior1 Dilwale ka trailer kab aa raha hai ?,.@SRKswarrior1 when is the trailer of Dilwale going to come out?
Kaahe jaage ho be?,why are u guys awake?
@huh_watnow chee chee gandi baatein,@huh_watnow bad words
"#GuessTheSong
Bade dhoke hai iss raah mein","#GuessTheSong
there are many betrayals on this path."
Aise aa rahi hai Bihaar me Bahaar #NitishKaAgentPratyayaAmrithttps://twitter.com/Bihar_ke_lala/status/660750933270245377 …,It seeems like spring season is going to start in bihar #NitishKaAgentPratyayaAmrithttps://twitter.com/Bihar_ke_lala/status/660750933270245377 …
@Atheist_Krishna bahot hi uchh darje ka ghatiyapan tha yeh.,@Atheist_Krishna this was a  high level of  stupidity
@iamkits haan Bhai aur hot bhi :-D,@iamkits yes brother and hot too :-D
"iska koi connect nahi tha iske saath, magar achha line hai.
Main confused hu ke woh bhai desi hai ya videsi.","this doesnt have any connection but its  a good line,i am confused that  whether he is a desi or videsi"
@MeetUunngLee nahi bhai mere tweets par log rote hai,"@MeetUunngLee nope brother ,people cry over my tweets"
"""Main aaj bhi pheki huee Ball nahin uthata"" ~ Umar Akmal 

#TwistedBollywoodDialogues","""even today i dont pick up  a ball which is thrown"" ~ Umar Akmal #TwistedBollywoodDialogues"
".@Arpita_joshi13 @e29ad41b95b341d sirf tumhare liye, chhodo ye sab hate. Aao pyar ki baatein karein DM par. Ok?",".@Arpita_joshi13 @e29ad41b95b341d just for u, lets stop hating. lets talk about love on your DM. Ok?"
@theamarjeet Haan bhai Ayesha ke sab fan hai ,)
"Journo: Laluji, aapne 11 bacche kyon paida kiye?
Lalu:  Kyonki uske baad hum thak gaye thay.","Journo: Laluji, why did you give birth to 11 children?
Lalu:  because i got tired safter that."
"""Aisa na hua hota agar aapne Modi ko PM na banaya hota"" - Shri Kejriwalhttps://twitter.com/nypost/status/718203194556432384 …","""this wouldnt have happened if uyou people hadnt made him the PM "" - Shri Kejriwalhttps://twitter.com/nypost/status/718203194556432384 …"
Kal kaam par tumhare abba jayenge? So jao.,will your dad go for work tomorrow?go sleep.
@CelkonMobile #CelkonCheers4India Oye Balle Balle 1 aur Four http://t.co/dCvJmecLqr,@CelkonMobile #CelkonCheers4India Oye Balle Balle 1 more four http://t.co/dCvJmecLqr
Sab khana kha ke daru pee chale gaye..,Everybody ate food and went out to drink.
mast hai.. aap bhi dekha karo.. daru ki zarurat nahi padti phir,"its amazing,you should also watch it.then you wouldnt need alcohol"
@Ra_Bies Thodi si jo pee li hai.. chori to nahi ki hai..,"@Ra_Bies I just drank a littlr bit of it , i didnt steal anything."
kya sir? Achha tha bhai,"what sir? its good ,bro"
"@DrDhimantPurohi ha ha ha, santa inka naam bhi note kar lein :)","DrDhimantPurohi lol,Santa note down their names."
@dwivedi_ji12 inn logo se ruka hua hai desh ka uddhar #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,@dwivedi_ji12 the debts of our country are still there because of people like this. #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar
Sir me apka big big fan hu mujy apse call pe bt karni hai ek bar sir mera contact num 03356507139 Skype I.d abdul.rehman6731 plzzzz contact meabdul.rehman.sahabto,"Sir  I am a big fan of u andthis my contact number:03356507139 ,Skype I.d: abdul.rehman6731 plzease contact me,myself  abdul.rehman.sahabto"
"@narendramodi @arunjaitley ""Sir #GST rate cut ka fayda Consumer ko nahi mil raha ""hai trader base price up karke usi price par bechta hai","@narendramodi @arunjaitley "" Sir consumer is not getting any benefit of this #GST rate cut, trader is rising base price and selling on the same price"""
"Entertainment sabko free ka hi chahiye hota hai, haaye ye zaalim duniya *wipes a tear*","Everyone needs free entertainment, Damn this atrocious world! *wipes a tear*"
"aaj ke latest xbox aur ps se zyada bhokal uss time  "" udne walla mario ""  ka hota tha","""Flying Mario"" is far better than this generation's xbox and ps."
Aa gaya mauka ... India won .. #IndvsSA,Got a chance... India won... #IndvsSA
@Champ_Nikk bilkul sahi..Bihar may achhe din toh aaney he they  #GoodByeNitishKumar,@Champ_Nikk Absolutely correct.. Bihar may get good days #GoodByeNitishKumar
that's complete crap .  @someUSER began and sadat were all about peace .  bibi wants to use our military for free .  @someUSER &lt, c'mon
#SamajwadiParty se #Gathbandhan to kar liya unhone ....,They made #SamajwadiParty in #Gathbandhan ....
Jor se poetry lagi hai.,Poetry hit hard
tu teen baar talak bol dena  @isaifpatel,Say talak three times @isaifpatel loudly.
"Jin logon ko FAN ke bina neend nahi aati woh movie zaroor dekhein, isse unhe neend aajayegi.","Those people who wouldn't get sleep without FAN, should watch this movie, will get sleep."
"Aaj naked,kal udhaar.

#MainBhiPunDit",Cash today credit tomorrow #MainBhiPunDit
@KajuBadamChor tu ja naha kar aa @TheVacuumHead @ShraddhaKapoor,@KajuBadamChor Go take bath and come TheVacuumHead @ShraddhaKapoor
kahin tu whi tom boy typ ladki to nhi jiske bare me kal ek ladke ne confession post kia tha  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  lol,"Are you that tomboy type girl, who confessed by a boy in the yesterday's post."
She wants to see my ration card..  Apne ghar se Bajrangi Bhaijaan ko bheja tha.. Bhool gayee  https://twitter.com/MehrTarar/status/633331132810043392 …,"She wants to see my ration card..  
We sent Bajtngi Bhaijaan from our home. She forgot that.
https://twitter.com/MehrTarar/status/633331132810043392 …"
@The_Sleigher ANGREZO BHARAT CHHODO,@The_Sleigher Britishers! leave India.
@stfu_veer delete kar diya,@stfu_veer I deleted.
""" #lol ... #Ireland ye to tumhaari batting ka #Pakistan ho gaya #CWC15 #INDvsIRE """,""" #lol ... #Ireland batting has become like #Pakistan's batting #CWC15 #INDvsIRE """
aansoo khushi kehttps://twitter.com/gauravyoo/status/801016899811282944 …,Tears of happiness https://twitter.com/gauravyoo/status/801016899811282944 …
"Jalne walo jalte raho..
Modi ji aap aage badho..

#ModiInDubai",Haters will keep hating.. Modi will keep going... #ModiInDubai
@Swt_Sadhana lets hope.. Mujhe to umeed kam hai @BJP4India @ANI_news,@Swt_Sadhana lets hope.. but i have meagre hopes @BJP4India @ANI_news
@BolshoyBooze :-O @White_Crimes aisa kiya tumne? Bhagwan se daro. Waise insta pe tumhare pics bahot zyada achhe hai :P,@BolshoyBooze :-O @White_Crimes you did this? Be scared of God. By the way your instagram photos are too good.
"@MaryaamShakeel Aaj to #kohli tum logo ko akele pela hai , socho zara jb 125 crore log pelenge tab kya hoga ..? #IndvsPak","@MaryaamShakeel Today kohli alone smashed you, what if 125 Indians smash you? #IndvsPak"
@sayshardik phone mein network nahi mil raha yaar,@sayshardik Ugh! My phone isn't getting network.
"@oxymoronic_me mat karo pyar, kyun barbaad hona hai? </3",@oxymoronic_me Don't love. Why to get ruined? </3
sir hamare ghar me white wash ho rhi thi .  isliye copy ghar pe reh gayi :-d,"My house was getting white washed, so i left my book at home :-d"
RT @Ssaniya25 : @WriterIntrovert ,) heard that quote ' Jinke ghar kaanch ke hote hain wo dusron pe patthar nahi maarte ' Goes well with AK
.@HarshJ12 apna kaam khud karo.,.@HarshJ12 Do your own work.
he's my dad but .  . hum unhe pura match kabhi nhi dekhne dete .  . it's a pretty big feat .  . lol,He's my dad but.. We don't let him watch the whole match..  it's a pretty big feat .  . lol
"Ankit LOL ne Arnab ko Modi ka kutta bola
. shaam ko maza http://aayega.lol ",Ankit LOL said that Arnab is Modi's dog. This evening will be fun.
Modi ji .....ye galat baat hai jo aapn 3 crore ka stage lagwa raha han ..... please think about it,"Modi ji...this is not fare, you are spending 3 crores for a stage.. please think about it."
@singhlicious twitter kam ho gaya hai :),@singhlicious twitter is done.
RT @101santosh1 : @MUKESH42957410 @PandaJay PRABHU KEY GHAR MIE DER PR ANDHAER NAHI YEAH SATYA H,RT @101santosh1: @MUKESH42957410 @PandaJay May be you will be late in Prabhu's house but you will be enlightened
mujhe mil gaya haii.....,I got it...
isiliye ab kejriwal ke samarthan me aa gaye .,That's why i support kejriwal
miranda house ka bi page hona chahie ab to :-d :-p,"Now, we need to have a page for miranda house"
@mishrashiv Mishra ji ise haathi bol kar haathi jaise achche jeevo ko gaaliya na de @nikhil__13 @Ra_Bies,"@mishrashiv You are insulting elephant, by comparing it with him @nikhil__13 @Ra_Bies"
@Singhlicious ye sach hai milord,"@Singhlicious This is the truth, My lord!"
@hitennarendra aajkal hum khud hi ghum rehte hai.. Ladki chhod ke chali gayee. Dil hi toot k reh gaya hai,"@hitennarendra I stay lost these days, because my girl left and i was heartbroken"
@Barn_sparrow Aapko doubt hai.. Apna phone number dijiye.. Abhi doubt door kiye dete hai ,) @tweeting_pal
hahaha very nice maine bhi kai bar kiya h .,"Lol! Very nice, i have done it many times too"
RT @s_navroop : AC EMU MILI NA !!! @HeadlinesToday : Suresh Prabhu's #RailBudget2015 disappoints Shiv Sena as ' Maharashtra didn't get anythi,"RT @s_navroop : You got AC EMU, right !!! @HeadlinesToday : Suresh Prabhu's #RailBudget2015 disappoints Shiv Sena as ' Maharashtra didn't get anythi"
Yes Aero totally rocks ,) ~ Ed
gantantra divas ke laddu wah bhai kya baat kya baat kya baat .  .  .,The sweet distributed on Republic Day was awesome!
meri purani hai @integrated_me isse door rahiyo,Its old @integrated_me please keep distance.
Dil aur DMaag hamesha khule hone chahiye.,Mind and heart should always be open.
"@Atheist_Krishna aur agar aaj koi kuch bola to ""bura na mano holi hai"" @bhaiyyajispeaks","@Atheist_Krishna If someone gets offended, just say ""Don't feel bad, today is holi"" @bhaiyyajispeaks"
Ab @ArvindKejriwal apna Janlokpal ka vaada kab poora kar rahe hai ??,When will @AravindKejrival fulfill his promises of our Janlokpal
@CescyJose mere sapnon ki Rani kab aayegi tu?,@CescyJose When will the queen of my dreams come?
"300, crore insha Allah",Oh my God! 300 crore.
same here bassss 20 ki jageh 5 milte the maa se .  .   .   .  :),"Same here, but i used to get 5 instead of 20 from mom."
@Insane_chorri mein to Bhopal me hi kha raha,@Insane_chorri I would like to eat in Bhopal.
@GreySasquatch lol! Haar gaye?,@GreySasquatch lol! You lost?
"RT @KejriTrolls : Modi ji , aapne kisi aur ko exam likhne bheja hoga . Syllabus se kuch sawaal mein poonchu toh ans de paaoge aap ? Bolo bolo ..","RT @KejriTrolls: Modi ji, you might have sent somebody else to writte the exam. Can you answer the questions in the syllabus. Tell me!"
"RT @fanthegame : Vo sirf STAR nahi hai , Duniya hai meri ! Watch trailer https://t.co/8iFTZvjYPe #KheloFansKhelo @FanTheFilm @yrf https://t.…","RT @fanthegame: He isn't just a star, he is my world."
"Subah cheez hi aisi hai, mujhe raat pasand hai","Mornings are just like this, i like nights."
RT @bhavanakumari9 : Mujhe old man bahut pasand h, @bhavanakumari9: I like old people.
bhai guddu .  . kamaal kardi yr .  . apne bhai pe gya h tu bilkul .,"Guddu Brother! You did an amazing job, just like me."
"Aakaash : Oh Boy , Jason Roy ... Jason Roy : Aakaah ChupRe .. #ENGvNZ","Aakash : Oh Boy, Jason Roy... Jason Roy: Shutup! Aakash #EngvNZ"
"kuch garam ya thanda khane se agar daanton me tez jhanjhanahat ho ,  to use sensitivity kahte hain .  .  .  . ","By eating any hot or cold, gives a sensation in teeth called sensitivity"
RT @sudhirchaudhary : Good to see Manoj Kumar at the centrestage once agn ! The original Bharat Kumar who brought patriotism to IndianCinema h,RT @sudhirchaudhary : Good to see Manoj Kumar at the centrestage once again! The original Bharat Kumar who brought patriotism to IndianCinema.
Petrol prices hike kya koi bhi virodh karne wala nahi bacha @thewirehindi @PatrikaNews @ravishndtv #petrolPrice #GST,Is there no one to revolt against hike in petrol prices? @thewirehindi @PatrikaNews @ravishndtv #petrolPrice #GST
kya kre maa ka payar h pagle :p,"It is mother's love, you insane!"
procrastinating .i need to get ready for the 6th district chicago police rally against violence .chi-town cheer will be performing .king dr .,procrastinating
@huh_watnow kitni baar bhi bhejo kam hai @twinitisha,"@huh_watnow no matter how many times it is sent, it is less. @twinitisha"
@Heerahee tu mahan hai,@Heerahee you are great 
mom: why are you listening to plies early sunday morning ?me: *blank stare* *pause* my strip club name is mr .will-throw-it *walks away*,mom: why are you listening to plies early sunday morning ?me: *blank stare* *pause* my strip club name is mr .will-throw-it *walks away*
@MeetUunngLee bhai tu mil raha hai weekend. Thats it,"@MeetUunngLee brother, you are meeting me on weekend. that's it."
@Aniket_bhau @SanikaRanade bahot hasi aarahi hai tujhe?,@Aniket_bhau @SanikaRanade Are you feeling like laughing too much?
@RowdyTalks 2 in 1 hai,@RowdyTalks its two in one
Aap bhi bohot handsome lag rahe the aur baachhi bhi bohot cute thi. Charming song. Mazza aa gayi thi. :) :) :),you were looking handsome and your kids were looking very cute. charming song. i enjoyed it.
"Kejriwal: Time kya hua hai?
 Ashutosh: Sir 12:30 1/1
 Kejriwal: Kya bola, sahi se bol.
 Ashutosh: Ab ho gaye 12:31 1/2.","Kejriwal: what's the time?
Ashutosh: sir 12:30 1/1
Kejriwal: what did you tell? tell again
Ashutosh: now it is 12:31 1/2."
"@Dhavalkate soch., achhi baatein karni hi nahi chahiye","@Dhavalkate think, we should not speak good words."
Lagta hai Modi ji ka jio wala pack khatam ho Gaya hai tabhi tweet nahi kar rahe #RightToPrivacy par @JhaSanjay @mukeshtiwariji @DwaipayanM,maybe its the case that mr.modi's jio internet pack is over as he is not tweeting #RightToPrivacy par @JhaSanjay @mukeshtiwariji @DwaipayanM
temple run --> an endless run for money gud one :),temple run --> an endless run for money good one :)
Relationship status: wo kya hota hai?,relationship status: what is it?
"Aur is baar jo proof maange "" chahe wo khi ka #CM hi q na ho "" seedha #Goli _ maar _ do _ unko _ V","this time whatever proof we ask, eventhough it is for the cm #Goli _ maar _ do _ unko _ V"
@indiantweeter Jain ration gap ho jaega.,@indiantweeter jain ration has become silent.
aj apne hum sbko bht hurt kiye salman...apse ye umid nhi thi hum sb ko :-(...bt m also luv u salman...:),"you hurted us a lot today, salman. we didn't have these expectations from you. (but i also love you, salman)"
Hitendra Katiyar Saharsha Keshkar Sanket Rathi Akhil Sharma Manish Chalana ... Bihari Bengali h kya ?,Hitendra Katiyar Saharsha Keshkar Sanket Rathi Akhil Sharma Manish Chalana is bihari bengali?
"tere liye maaf, tu jab bhi aaye aur milne ka mood ho toh bata dena. @akshaykanitkar @MePurplelicious","you are exempted. whenever you wish to meet, just tell me."
@KyaUkhaadLega bhigo ke maarte ho har baat pe,@KyaUkhaadLega you beat ruthlessly for everything
"#LiesMenTell Woh pareshaan karte rahe, hum kaam karte rahe - Kejru","#LiesMenTell they harrassed us, we kept working - Kejru"
Kabhi bharat k 1 karode #santramplji k anuyayeeyon k man ki bhi suno jo 681 din se nyaya mang rahe h #ProteinPledge #CriminalAAP #Trump,#santrampliji do think about 1 crore followers of india who are seeking justice since 681 days. #ProteinPledge #CriminalAAP #Trump
"Paisa kya hai, aaj hai kal nahi, parso hai - Baburao Ganpatrao Apte","money may not be there today, but it can be anytime tomorrow. - Baburao Ganpatrao Apte"
faisal bhai ....itna waqt kyu lagate ho apne fans se mukhatib hone mein ..,"faisal, why do you take so much time to get refernced to your fans?"
"guddu tri series aur test series mein , kya lene gya tha ??",what did guddu take with him in tri series and test series?
Trump banne ki koshish.. matlab ab yugpurush ji US Prez ka chunaav ladenge ?? God save America @angryoungwoman,"trump is trying to become leader of america, meaning this man will fight in the elections?"
"Khud ba khud radicalize ho gaya, bas baithe baithe",it got radicalized automatically.
Kitthe reh gaye sallu ji 04:07 ho gye,where are you sallu? its already 4:07.
@ExSecular aaj to mehenga wala maal mangwaya hai @OfficeOfRG ne,@ExSecular today i have ordered expensice items @OfficeOfRG
Hasee toh bhi nahi phasee. #UpcomingSequels,"even after laughing, i didn't get caught. #UpcomingSequels"
RT @ImVKohlisAngel : @RainaKiGudia Awwwww cutuuuuu .... Thankuuuu love ... Good night,RT @ImVKohlisAngel : @RainaKiGudia Too cute .... Thank you love ... Good night
Dhoni should remind Faf abt IPL !! Agar khelna hai toh out ho jaa !! Hussey z back in d team !!! #justsaying #IndiaVsSouthAfrica,"Dhoni should remind Faf abt IPL!! if youn want to play, get out. Hussey is back in the team !!! #justsaying #indiaVsSouthAfrica"
@Sand_In_Deed sabko samaj me aaya hi nahi ,)
@Pluuummm Matlab pi hai,@Pluuummm Its meaning is pi.
@village_wale oye Shashi sabudana khichdi hai . See prooerly,@village_waleits sabudani  khichdi. See properly.
iss @LoKarDi_RT se compliment? Sigh. Isne mujhe kabhi achha nahi bola hao,do I take a complemennt from @LoKarDi_RT? sigh! he never told any good about me!
i think wearing weird clothes and chappals mean we are innocent.train us with your own risk :d,i think wearing weird clothes and chappals mean that we are innocent. train us with your own risk!
Tu odd pe Karan Johar ke saath aur even pe Bobby Darling ke saath soya karhttps://twitter.com/Atheist_Krishna/status/682871268610191361 …,you slept with Karan Johar on odd days and with Bobby Darliing on even.
bay area heads !i'll be on the piano at yoshi's san fran this sunday playing with the one n only dwight trible - http/URL,bay area heads! i'll be on the piano at yoshi's san francisco this sunday playing with the one and only dwight trible.
@sawlanis2 Gunda raj aur jungle raj dono samapti ki or hai..Bus dekhte jao #BJPAheadMGBDead,@sawlanis2 power of goons and jungle is on the verge of the end. just wait and watch #BJPAheadMGBDead
@zoomphatak iss baar thoda zyada easy ho gaya,@zoomphatak this time it was very easy.
Phir bhi paap nahi dhulenge tere Kaju https://twitter.com/KajuBadamChor/status/756433421576970240 …,"then too, your sins will not be washed away kaju. https://twitter.com/KajuBadamChor/status/756433421576970240 …"
"Kejri Yogendra se pareshan.
 Modi Yogi se pareshan.
 Musalman Yoga se pareshan.","Kejri is anxious because of Yogendra 
Modi is anxious because of Yogi 
Muslims are anxious because of Yoga."
"Fan: Jai Shree Ram
 Anupam Kher: Jai Shree Ram
 Fan: Om Jai Jagdish
 Anupam Kher: y u do dis to me :(","Fan: hail god Ram
Anupam Kher: hail god Ram
Fan: hail god jagdish
Anupam Kher: why you do this to me?"
@Atheist_Krishna ye saare paise rakh le aur meri suhaagraat pe national anthem mat bajanapic.twitter.com/Pg46hCOq4l,@Atheist_Krishna keep this money and don't play the national anthem on the first nigh of my marriage.
@supaarwoman Chhod na.. Itni si baat ke liye kisi ki naukari mat cheen @ishaan21,@supaarwoman leave it! don't snatch his job because of such a small thing!
@Ibleed_sarcasm angrez chale gaye.. Inke chhod gaye @RichaMaddyBon @Prachiekins,@Ibleed_sarcasm the englishmen went. they left them @RichaMaddyBon @Prachiekins
@ashutosh83B pyaar bech ke faayda kamate ho.. Dilli ki janta kabhi maaf nahi karegi,@ashutosh83B you gain after selling love. the people of delhi won't forgive you.
"@someUSER c'mon guys fix this please ,i dont want this to end up how diablo iii did .......: . (","@someUSER common guys fix this please,  i dont want this to end up how diablo i did .......: . ("
"Haha, awaaz zyada badi aati hai. Na?","haha the voice is loud, right?"
@lady_gabbar paisa bolta hai,@lady_gabbar money speaks
#ModiKaBudget #Budget2015 #Indianbudget #SuperBudget 5 ultra major power projects http://t.co/4Qg5JfmqYN,#ModiKaBudget #Budget2015 #Indianbudget #SuperBudget there are 5 ultra major power projects http://t.co/4Qg5JfmqYN
Chacha jaan ye biwi hai keema paav nahi.pic.twitter.com/KTTMl4kZaS,"uncle, she is a wife, not a keema pav. https://twitter.com/KTTMl4kZaS"
Phir toh Swiss bank me kitna Paisa Hai wo bhi #RightToPrivacy hoga ?,then the amount of moeny in swiss bank also comes under #RightToPrrivacy act?
Happy Mahashivratri folks :) .. Har Har Bole .. Om Namah Shivay,happy mahashivratri folks :) .. hail god shiva
nothing equivalent to moms .,nothing is equivalent to moms.
@Rialisticme ek bechare ladke ki khushi nahi dekhi jaati tumse?,@Rialisticme can you not see the happiness on the face of a poor girl?
ladka gaming mai khoya hua hai.... ,)
PIB_India #UHF RT airnewsalerts : RT MIB_India FAQs on #RailBudget2015 - Procedure of approval of Rail Budget by Pa http://t.co/aU6k1nt9VG,PIB_India #UHF RT airnewsalerts : RT MIB_India FAQs on #RailBudget2015 - Procedure of approval of Rail Budget by Pa http://t.co/aU6k1nt9VG
@tweettabulous yaar man ki hi toh baat ki thi! LOL,@tweettabulous i did what my mind told me to do
"Isse lag raha hai main ladki hu. 
 Aise DM's aate hai mujhe.pic.twitter.com/qIEfUNmtwL","He thinks that i am a girl.
these type of direct messgaes come to me. https://pic.twitter.com/qIEfUNmtwL"
@DefucktiveHumor abhi itna darr Gaye hai ke rally Rok rahe hai..Par kya fayda ? #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra,@DefucktiveHumor they are so scared that they are stopping the rally. what is the use now? #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra
Bhai koi iske tweet copy karo.. Ye khud ke tweet copy kiye jaa raha hai.. Koi RT bhi nahi karta pic.twitter.com/sUyah8zReK,someone copy his tweets. he is copying is own tweets. no one is retweeting. https://pic.twitter.com/sUyah8zReK
@akshaykanitkar nahi bhai Gujarat@BabaBakChod,"@akshaykanitkar no man, gujarat @BabaBakChod"
@FarhanKVirk sharjeel Motey kaddu ms talent bhi nahi hai,@FarhanKVirk sharjeel has no talent.
"When Sagarika was born doctor said ""Mubarak ho aur Shubhkamnayen bhi""","When Sagarika was brn doctor said ""Congratulations and good wishes!!"""
"Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon - Official Trailer - Kapil Sharma , Arbaaz Khan , Eli Avram & Manjari Phadnis http://t.co/XDhFJyi8jQ","who all to love - official trailer - kapil sharma, arbaaz khan , eli avram & manjari phadnis http://t.co/XDhFJyi8jQ"
Are beimano #SurgicalStrike pe tumhi log Pakistan ki tarah evidence mang rahe thena ??? Tumhara Fake Emotion sab Hindustani jan chuke he ab !,"you traitors, you only were asking for eveidence like Pakistanis on #SurgicalSyrike? Your fake emotionx are known to all indians."
bb will be huge blockbuster. aap jiyo hajaro saal.,bb will be huge blockbuster. you may live 1000 years.
"Tum chahte ho mujh par police case ho jaaye <\3 
 :'(",you want a police case against me.
@itsmanimozhian mar ja bhai,"@itsmanimozhian man, please die."
nikon has once again proven it's a small world after all with the latest...- herald sun http/URL,nikon has once again proven it's a small world after all with the latest.
#ZarooratHai ab saare duniya se #TRUMP k khilaaf awaaz uthe,"#ZarooratHai now from everwhere in the world, there will be a voice againt #TRUMP"
"@bhaiyyajispeaks Kya baat hai, maine bhi koshish ki this Shraddha Kapoor ki photo banane ke liye magar Jadoo jaise ban gayi kuch.","@bhaiyyajispeaks what's the matter, i also tried to make a photo of Shraddha Kapoor but it became something like 'Jadoo'."
@kachra_peti haan ok.. Mere ghar ke paas me hai @HathwalaThakur,@kachra_peti yes fine..It is there near my house. @HathwalaThakur
@DrShobha Maam mausam achcha hai.. To socha ghoomne jaane se pehle pooch lu@BDUTT @ChouhanShivraj,"@DrShobha Maam weather is good. so, i thought that before @BDUTT @ChouhanShivraj"
@someUSER @someUSER nooooooooo !!!!!!maybe you can just look over it right before the test tomorrow and do that first,@someUSER @someUSER no !! maybe you can just look over it right before the test tomorrow and do that first
@Ojasism bhai so ja,"@Ojasism man, please sleep."
@vikrantkumar ye baat to hai.,@vikrantkumar this is the thing.
Rahul Gandhi is rich man's Tejaswi Yadav.,rahul gandhi is a rich man: Tejaswi Yadav
@toastingtoaster Bhai ne driver ko fasa diya,@toastingmaster the man tricked the driver.
shaan is like ..question kahin mujh par na aajaye :p,"shaan is like, the question shouldn't come to him."
RT @helloanand : Brilliant answer by Dhoni when a media guy asked about his retirement - https://t.co/irgS0ieIex,Retweet @helloanand : Brilliant answer by Dhoni when a media guy asked about his retirement - https://t.co/irgS0ieIex
"Okay, done! Usko bhi make up lagana, ok?","Okay done! apply make up on him, fine?"
@barkhasbutt @ashutosh83B Delhi aakar bigad gayi hai,"@barkhasbutt @ashutosh83B after coming to delhi, she got spoilt."
"Shoaib Akhtar to @SrBachchan , sir aap jawani mai cricket khele hai , to aap bowler the ya batsman @msarosh #IndvsPak","Shoaib Akhtar to @SrBachchan, when you played cricket in childhood, were you a batsman or a bowler? @msarosh #IndvsPak"
@LEDtvn adhi duniya ko to dikha chuki ho,@LEDtvn now you have shown it to the world.
"Tum mujhe varghani do, main tumhe paavti dunga.","you give me contribution, i will give you acknowledgement."
this is fake news shame on you media usa how much given you money blady media.......,this is fake news. shame on you media! how much has been given by USA to you?
usse dikkat nahi.. dikkat dikhawa ka hai,it is not the problem with that. it is the problem with show off. 
RT @The_Bapu7 : Virat Kohli Warming Up ! Whoaaaaaa Pehli Baar Accha Lag Raha Hai Use Dekhke 😛😂😂,RT @The_Bapu7 : Virat Kohli Warming Up ! Whoaaaaaa first time it is feeling good after seeing him.
4 baj gaye.....par party aabhi Baaki he....sallu bhai,"it's 4 o'clock, but the party is still not over, mr. sallu."
"Kya tumne kabhi kisi ko DP ke liye follow kiya?
 Kiyaaa
 Aur usne tumhe disappoint kiya?
 Kiyaaa..
 Mujhe bhi kiya","have you ever followed someone for DP?
yes, followed
And has he/she disappointed you?
Yes
Me too!"
@PoojaMissra pure Bihar ke tukde kar diye hai nitish ne#FailedCMNitish,@PoojaMissra entire bihar is broken into pieces because of cm nitish. #FailedCMNitish
@twinitisha maine to nahi lagayee,@twinitisha i didn't put
@friendlii_ghost okay sir. hamare bhi din aayenge,@friendlii_ghost okay sir. our days will also come.
Kal bhi paani nahi aaya tha waise! #Budget2016https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/704247260461150208 …,"yesterday also, water wasn't supplied! #Budget2016https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/704247260461150208 …"
@SharyAhmad19 . Fazool batein kr rahi hai 😡,@SharyAhmad19 . they are talking about silly things 😡
"@HiighBeta
 Chal ghoomne mere saath.. In my car..
 Tera pyaar pyaar pyaar hukka baar @Insane_chorri","@HiighBeta
let's go together strolling. In my car..
You love @Insane_chorri"
@Shockraborty Mummy aap hamesha mujhe hi daant lagati ho :( beta tum ghar ke bade ho na,"@Shockraborty Mummy, you always scold me:( son, you are the elder one in the family."
@dan1shmemon bhai theek se padh kya likha hai plz,"@dan1shmemon brother, please read it carefully, what is written!"
#saynotocorruption #timetochange say no to dummies jinke pass khud ka dimaag nahi dusro k kahne par chalte hai #MakeInIndia,#saynotocorruption #timetochange say no to dummies who don't have brains but act on the advice of others! #MakeInIndia
true !! joke hai😂😂😂 accha maazak hai @rajabetasharad https://t.co/F6RCbgnkBm,true !! it is a good joke!  @rajabetasharad https://t.co/F6RCbgnkBm
@iamsonisinghal dhaniye ki chatni me namak kam reh gaya,@iamsonisinghal the paste of corainder has less salt in it.
bhai angreji batao na kuch.. kuch samaj ni aa raha,"man, please teach me english. i don't understand anything!"
"""Na bhai na, aise thodi hota hai, ye aate time bhi window seat pe baitha tha"" #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/PpTsXLrl1b","""no brother, this shouldn't happen, when we had come, that time also, you at on the window seat! #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/PpTsXLrl1b"
"When Sagarika was born doctor said ""Mubarak ho aur Shubhkamnayen bhi""","When Sagarika was born doctor said ""congratulations and good wishes too"""
""" munh khol ke 20 rupay mang liye ...""oh i love this line .","""Open your mouth and ask for Rs.20"", I love this line."
mujhe bhi peeni hai </3 @sinezero,i also wan't to drink @sinezero
Sab anti national hai saale.,everyone is anti national
Khawaja Mere Khawaja chal wapas chale jaa #IndvsAus,My sweetheart! please go back #IndvsAus
@KutchaRaasta gaalib khayaal achcha hai,@KutchaRaasta gaalib the way is good.
"sona nahi hai tumko? 
 Subah uthna hai na jaldi? Sleep","don't you want to sleep? 
you wan't to get up earl, right? sleep!"
@kamaalrkhan sir ye tweet unko bhej do. Itni Hi-Fi English padh ke wo waise hi suicide kar lega.,"@kamaalrkhan sir, please send this tweet to him. seeing this level of english, he will commit suicide."
Kya lifetime like hi karogi ? Kabhi RT nahi karogi ?,Will you just like lifetime? Won't you retweet anytime?
"""Bhaiya Goal ki taraf le lo""
 
 Autoguy: ""Us taraf nahi jayega""pic.twitter.com/S8MqgLf25i","""brother, take it towards the goal.""
 
 Autoguy: ""it won't go that side"" pic.twitter.com/S8MqgLf25i"
.@ashutosh83B to phir rishta pakka samjhen?,.@ashutosh83B should i consider this relationshipfinal?
RT @ruchikokcha : @Atheist_Krishna Isiliye ( sadly ) I am perhaps the only woman jisey Kohli ko khelta dekh bhai wali feeling aati hai .,RT @ruchikokcha : @Atheist_Krishna Isiliye ( sadly ) I am perhaps the only woman who gets a different feeling after seeing Kohli play.
tu such mein pagal ho gai hai......jo ho gya so ho gya babu....ek achhi and happy life start kar....,you are really mad! what is done is done! start a goof and happy life1
Gangaa ka dheeraj tu Himalay ka seena hai .. Sone chaandi se bhi keemti .. tera ye paseena hai ! Come back Maahiyaa #Dhoni,Gangaa ka dheeraj tu Himalay ka seena hai .. Sone chaandi se bhi keemti .. tera ye paseena hai ! Come back Maahiyaa #Dhoni
"Thank God they didn't end up with ""Dekhna na bhooliye Ae Dil Hai Mushkil apni nasdeeki cinema gharon mein. #MadeByGoogle","Thank God they didn't end up with ""don't forget watching Ae Dil Hai Mushkil"" in your nearest cinemas "" #MadeByGoogle"
jab tak dhoni hai atleast main to chipka rahunga ..:),"till dhoni is there on field, i will be stuck there."
"ye @AapGhumaKeLeLo aur @AndColorPockeT alag level hai bhai, wahan nahi pahonch sakta koi! @Alllahdin",@AapGhumaKeLeLo and @AndColorPockeThave a different level! No one can reach there! @Alllahdin
Tumhare chashme ka number hai kya?,Whats the power of your spectacles?
Isko bhav mat de.. ye nahi dene wali,don't give her respect. she won't give.
@ek_samosa_dena kaam par daaru mat piya kar!,@ek_samosa_dena don't drink when you are at work!
@kkundra lol ladki mil gyi .. Martina here you go girl .. hahha shit #Roadies,@kkundra got the girl .. Martina here you go girl .. hahha shit #Roadies
"""Aaj mein bohot khush hu.. pehli baar sau ka note dikhaya bhaijaan ne.. ""
 
 #TweetLikeAPakistani","""today i am very happy. for the first time i saw a Rs.100 note.. ""
 
 #TweetLikeAPakistani"
"TERA PEECHA NA MAIN CHHODINGA SONIYE, BHEJ DE CHAHE JAIL MEIN PYAR KE ISS KHEL MEIN *shakes head like Dev Anand*","I won't leave you alone, even though you send me to jail because of my love, shakes head like Dev Anand "
@jaikesarinandan jai shri Ram,@jaikesarinandan hail god ram
"A small farmer in Mahoba "" #UttarPradesh : matar 6 rs kilo bech raha hun #notebandi ke kaaran ! Ab chunaav me batayenge inko 0","A small farmer in Mahoba "" #UttarPradesh : I am selling peas 6 Rs a kilo because of note ban! we will show them in the elections!"
Aaj kal Jitne Bhi teaser trailer #Youtube pr Record tod rhe hai Sb #Jio ki meharbaani hai,"nowadays, any teaser or trailer recorded on youtube is only possible because of #Jio."
"@Tweepshikha meri achhai ka toh fayda utha rahe ho tum, mazaak udaa kar.","@Tweepshikha you are taking advantage of my kindness, don't make fun of it."
Mujhe @Olacabs ne nahi bataya! Ye sarasar na insaafi hai Chikna bhai,"@olacabs didn't tell me. this is pure injustice, mr.chikna"
@KyaUkhaadLega hahaha. Khana khaney ke liye Plato ka bandobast bhi kar lena.,"@KyaUkhaadLega hahaha. to eat food, make arrangement for plato."
"@friendlii_ghost haha, sab karte hai","@friendlii_ghost haha, everyone does it."
main scooter ke aage khadi hoti thi ... to papa samne dekh nhi pate the .. hehehe,"when i stand in front of the scooter, then father couldn;t see it.. "
hey bhagwan ...yeh movies bachcho ka satyanash kar rahi hain ..:-o :o,oh god! these movies are deteriorating the minds of children!
@Lambar_Daar haha bhai subah se idhar udhar ho raha hu @MAKKARROMA,"@Lambar_Daar since morning, you are moving here and there @MAKKARROMA"
RT @coolfunnytshirt : Maine daant tod dena hai Arnab ke agar aur kisi ka resignation maanga toh !!! http://t.co/OuPkhWLllf,RT @coolfunnytshirt : i will break Arnab's teeth if someone asks for a resignation !!! http://t.co/OuPkhWLllf
"@friendlii_ghost kuch nahi bhai, sab emo chep rahe hai","@friendlii_ghost nothing man, everyone is just putting emojis."
@akshaykanitkar HAHAHA. yaar kya karu. Hasne wali baat bhi hai,@akshaykanitkar Hahaha. what do i do?. its a point of laughing.
"@KyaUkhaadLega Main Arvind Kejriwal HU, plz phone uthaiyega","@KyaUkhaadLega I am Arvind Kejriwal, please pick up my call."
@samy3010 yeh galat iljham hai,@samy3010 this is wrong allegation.
maam is wrong in rejecting guddu ... acting me to chhora ghana tez hai,maam is wrong in rejecting guddu ... he is very sharp in acting!
"Dhoka nahi, Dhokla khao.","not deceival, eat dhokla."
@badrirag @ArvindKejriwal Tere ko kyun jal rahi hai agar koi apne PM ki degree demand kar raha hai ?,@badrirag @ArvindKejriwal why are you feeling jealous if someone is claiming his/her PM degree?
@razonater @QararaRasha Sindh is not a property of Pakistan . The philosophy is that aap apna Sindh kahin bhi abaad kar sakte hen .,@razonater @QararaRasha Sindh is not a property of Pakistan. The philosophy is that you can inhabitate in Sindh anywhere.
Mall me saari ladkiyan achchi lagti hai #GuyFacts,Every girl looks nice in the mall. #GuyFacts
"har cheez ka galat matlab nikal kar ye, galat shalat smmileys bhejti hai. Bahar se sanskaari andar se dhuandhari.","For everything, she finds a wrong meaninig, sends these wrong smileys. From outer appearance, she looks very disciplined but from inside she is cunning!"
"#GuessTheSong
 Tu jo dariya mein utre saara paani gulaabi","#GuessTheSong
you stepped in the lake and the water turned rose."
it is one of the best gigs of grbg bin i hv evr encontrd .... smply owsm .....,it is one of the best gigs of garbage bin i have ever encountered .... simply awesome .....
great ak sir .. aap zindabad ..we have to first ensure on evm machines because these people are filthy,great ak sir .. long live! ..we have to first ensure on evm machines because these people are filthy.
it's wednesday !!you know what that means ....new episodes of the challenge: battle of the seasons &amp, american horror story: asylum !!
@huh_watnow darling tumhara kuch ni ho sakta ,)pic.twitter.com/IhkR6QcytQ
"bhai aap bhul gye kya hume social science kisne padhai h , unhone dekha to pitaayi ho jayegi .:(","man, you forgot who taught us social science. if he/she sees, then we will be beaten up!"
@shubhansh1504 jab koi bahana nahi hota to bolte hai 'server down hai',"@shubhansh1504 when there is no excuse, they say 'server is down'."
Diwali Shopping wahan se karo jahan kisi gareeb ki Diwali achi hojaye #Diwali #deepavali,do diwali shopping from that shop where some poor can celebrate diwali better. #deepavali
Bajrangi bhaijaan mein koi aisa scene jo yadgaar ho????,is there any scene is 'Bajrangi bhaijjan' which is memorable?
@Anoushey_a pak out ho chuka hai aus r kiwi se jeetna namomkin,"@Anoushey_a pakistan is out, winning against australia and new zealand is impossible."
"haha, nahi dekha yaar. Hai link?","yes, I didn't see. do you have the link?"
@vikaspgoel @c_aashish RT ki mohmaaya main na padein. Validation ke liye do ache shabd hi kaafi hain.,@vikaspgoel @c_aashish don't get into the retweet business. for validation good words are enough!
logo ko ullu banane wale ko solid reply .,giving a befitting reply to the people who make a fool out of others!
"""Tumhara Pritam Pyaare aagaya ho toh hum sone chale jaaye?""","if your ""Pritam Pyara"" has come, then can we go to sleep?"
@scratchysingh main ek nek aur shareef bachha hu,@scratchysingh I am a disciplined and honest boy.
"@himanshujainon @DrGarekar @ashvasant are bhai uski biwi ne mana kia tha . He is innocent otherwise like # kanhaiya , poor student of #JNU","@himanshujainon @DrGarekar @ashvasant Oh man! his wife denied him. He is innocent otherwise like # krishna , poor student of #JNU"
Shukriya Bhaijaaaaan... Mere bday pe aj tak mila huva Sabse pyara tohfa.... Bajrangi Bhaijaaaaan....,thank you brother... the best gift i have got on my birthday...
@Dishasatra LOL @PJ_CRACKER @ROFLaaLa Lala mujhe bhi apni behen bana le please,"@Dishasatra LOL @PJ_CRACKER @ROFLaaLa Lala, make me your sister, please!"
"Desh ka yuva jaag chuka hai, yuvika ka kya?",the male youth of nation has awakened. what about the female youth?
0 @BDUTT Mam kaafi frustration me lag rahi hain #TripleTalaq judgement ke baad ! Yahi mauka hain inko koi link bhejo re Blue whale game ki!,0 @BDUTT Mam is looking frustrated after #TripleTalaq judgement! This is the correct time to send her the link of blue whale game!
@i_am_nat_war abla naari ki help kar,@i_am_nat_war help the helpless woman.
Election commission ko bhi @BJP4India par najar rakhni chahiye. Gujarat Haath se jaata Dekh ab #GST yaad aa gaya inhe,"Election commission should keep an eye on @BJP4India.Seeing gujarat getting out ogf their control, they are remembering about #GST"
"Bahot hi galat huwa ya, shraddhanjali arpit karte hai :'(","what happened was wrong, let us pay homage!"
RT @SRKswarrior1 : Arre yaar Dhoni 59 ball mein out hogaya Akkian - accha hua ! 59 ball mein 29 run banaayeAgar 106 ball khelta to sirf 16-…,"RT @SRKswarrior1 : Dhoni got out after playing 59 balls! good ! he made 29 runs in 59 balls. if he would have played 106 balls, then  he would have made 16 runs."
@indiantweeter wahi hota hai jo manzoor-e-khuda hota hai.,@indiantweeter only that happens that is acceptable to god.
@iamGunjanGrunge MaPoSe murder maaf kar sakta hai.. Drunk driving nahi,@iamGunjanGrunge MaPoSe murder can be forgiven.. but not drunk driving
@Tweepshikha toh mujhe laga tumhari bhi shakal hogi usmein kahin :-/,@Tweepshikha so i also thought that your face might be there somewhere :-/
my story ws totally opposite ... maa mana karti thi n papa paise dete thhe ... alwez ... :),"my story was totally opposite .. Even after refusing to give money, my father used to give me always."
@rynkee Kaho naa pyaar hai ,)
@69fubar Aye Aye captain,@69fubar ahh ahh captain!!
"@Alllahdin sab samajta hu main, pyar mein kabhi kabhi aisa ho jata hai","@Alllahdin i will explain you everything, sometimes this happens in love.."
Itne to bhai wallet me chillar lekar chalte haihttps://twitter.com/firstpost/status/603429262750691329 …,he has so many coins in his wallet https://twitter.com/firstpost/status/603429262750691329 …
"@peachypiscean tumhare aashwasan Kejriwal jaise hote hai, hamesha disappointing </3 :'(","@peachypiscean you assurances are like Kejriwal, always disappointing."
RT @khanakram421 : She : Bhaiyya mujhe Chandi colour ka dress chahiyeShopkeeper : Accha to tumhe Silver kameez chahiye ?,RT @khanakram421 : She : i wan't a silver coloured dress. Shopkeeper : so you want a silver coloured salwar??
jo jaisa dusro k sath krta h uske sath aisa hi hota h ..he cheated dada ...,you will reap as you sow. He cheated dada ..
"Modi ne #Notebandi toh kar di "" par hamaare jaise #foreveralone engineers ke liye bandi kab dhund dega 0 Kya yahi hai acche din?",Modi has banned notes #Notebandi. But when will he find a girl for #foreveralone engineers? are these the good days?
Bhai kya bol raha hai https://twitter.com/iNeelSoni/status/654200935128895488 …,"man, what are you saying? https://twitter.com/iNeelSoni/status/654200935128895488 …"
"Subah se na koi favorite mila hai, na mila hai aadha mention.","from morning, i have neither got a favourite nor a half mention."
agar woldcup jitna h na to ..sehwag aur yuvi ko bulale team me,"if you wan't to win the workcup, then can sehwag and yuvraj in the team."
@BDUTT @AmanKayamHai Grow up Bharkha ... It's too much now . Bharat mai kahi shaktiman hai joo aaj bhi problem mai hai ... Whaha Jaa kar aao,"@BDUTT @AmanKayamHai Grow up Bharkha ... It's too much now. in india, there is shaktiman who is in problem even today... go there and come!"
@balliawalebaba hahaha.. Ab aaye ho to kuch kaam bhi karlo,"@balliawalebaba hahaha.. now that you have come, do some work."
@DefucktiveHumor pakistan jane ke liye bhi visa chahiye kya? Paagal mat ban,@DefucktiveHumor do we need a visa to go to pakistan? don't be mad.
"Daadhi badhao gandi shakal chupao.
 #JaagoGrahak",grow your beard and hide your ugly face! #JaagoGrahak
Sonia Gandhi ko pata nahi tha ki 90% dimag ka vikas 5 saal tak ho jaata hai.,Sonia Gandhi didn't know that 90% evolution of the brain happens in 5 years.
@anjanasukhani Mandal Aabhari _/\_,@anjanasukhani highly obliged _/\_
#GST is The new Duckworth Lewis method. Jo Aaj Tak Kisi ko samjh nhi aaya,"#GST is The new Duckworth Lewis method., which no one has understood till date."
@vakeel_saheba Porn mat dekha karo zyada,@vakeel_saheba don't watch porn too much.
@GhantaGuy 9 ghante se auto main hai?,@GhantaGuy are you in auto since 9 hours??
"#TripleTalaq sirji aap ne to sab chura liya. triple ""talaq ram ""mandir ""vikas appeasement opposition ko kucchh chhodo","#TripleTalaq sir, you stole everything. triple talaq, ram mandir, vikas appeasement, leave something for the opposition!"
"sir, can't wait fr #Bajrangi_bhaijaan <3","sir, can't wait for #Bajrangi_bhaijaan "
@tweeting_pal ab bata bhi de kiska.. raat bhar sochte rahenge @Insane_chorri @HathwalaThakur @MeetUunngLee,@tweeting_pal now tell whose.. we will think the entire night @Insane_chorri @HathwalaThakur @MeetUunngLee
Toh chaabi kisne lagayi? Aur khoyi kisne?,who put the keys? and who lost it?
man prasann ho gaya dekh kar .,my mind got pleased after seeing it.
"Ghu mein pair rakhoge toh dhona padega, pyaar mein padoge toh rona padega. #Irshaad","if you put your feet in shit, then you will have to wash. if you fall in love, then you will have to cry. #lrshaad"
"G1 to G2: Tera mera pyar amar.
 Amar: Mujhe tum dono pasand ho.","G1 to G2: your and my love is immortal.
Amar: i like both of you."
"He cries and cries and cries becoz u wnt let him do it ? Did you say you were seeing a \ "" guy\ "" ? ;)","He cries and cries and cries because you want let him do it ? Did you say you were seeing a \ "" guy\ "" ? ;)"
@Vyomnaut ohh.. Ye to andar ki baat hai.. Tumhe kaha se pata lagi ?,@Vyomnaut ohh.. this is a hidden matter. how did you get to know?
Sabke saamne naak toh katwa hi deti hai biwiyahttps://twitter.com/anjanabhartia/status/887558772826152960 …,wives dishonour in front of everyone https://twitter.com/anjanabhartia/status/887558772826152960 …
superr se uperrrrr (y) missng home,"excellent, missing home."
matlab 28 or 29 me se kis din aana hai..,means which days do we have to come - 28 or 29?
kya baat hai !!guddu phir se dher sare gags banane laga ....:),excellent !! guddu has started making too many gags ....:)
shubham teotia ..iske number final me judenge ..lol :),shubham teotia ..his scores will be added in the end ..lol :)
Chalo ab koi sting operation karke kisi sarkar ko nanga nahi kar sakti ... maare jaoge #RightToPrivacy,now you cannot do any sting operation and make the government feel ashmed. you wll be killed #RightToPrivacy
@justicearnab mujhe to ab se gaaliya padne lagi hai :/,@justicearnab now i am being told bad words :/
ATM me cash aane ka ?https://twitter.com/CopyWalaTweet/status/803470605039255552 …,is there cash in ATM? https://twitter.com/CopyWalaTweet/status/803470605039255552 …
@Beingakashss thanks bhai Tere Tweet Ka Wait Tha Mujhe,"@Beingakashss thanks man, i had waited for your tweet."
"Yahan se ek suwar phenk kar maarenge, saara radicalism uttar jayega.https://twitter.com/defencepk/status/867363923770523649 …","we will hit you by throwing a pig, all ideas of radicalism will be washed out .https://twitter.com/defencepk/status/867363923770523649 …"
Ye sab padhne se pehle meri aankhein kyun nahi phoot gayihttps://twitter.com/meDigitalGanesh/status/868125471636164610 …,"before reading all this, why didn't my eyes come off?https://twitter.com/meDigitalGanesh/status/868125471636164610 …"
kitne zor se diltoota hai tumhara?,how hard has your heart broken?
Aap reply karenge....?,will you reply?
"#RailBudget2015 #PrabhuKiRail "" Prabhu der aaye par durust aaye "" This budget is a revolution in Modern Indian Railways .","#RailBudget2015 #PrabhuKiRail "" better late than never"" This budget is a revolution in Modern Indian Railways ."
@hindiplz @insane_chorri Allahabad se yaad aaya hum Allahpur/Alopibagh mein poora ek saal rahe the :),"@hindiplz @insane_chorri hearing about allahabad, i remembered that we had stayed in allahpur/alopibagh for one year. "
@HITKPKD #LalHITMovies Mujse bachne ke liye tumhe moon jaana padega... aur suna hai wo bahut loon place hai,"@HITKPKD #LalHITMovies to rescue yourself from me, you will have to go to moon... and i have heard that is a very lonely place.."
30 din se continuously swimming pool ja raha hoon. Aur in ladkiyon ne ek bhi din chhutti nahi ki. Kal se band karna padega.,I am going to the swimming pool continuously since the last 30 days. and these girls haven't given me a holiday. i will have to stop this form tomorrow.
Bhaijaan kaha he aap?,"brother, from where do you hail?"
"I'm also against arrest of Tanmay Bhat, kaan pakad ke utthak-baithak karwa kar chhod dena chahiye.","I'm also against arrest of Tanmay Bhat, they should be released after some minor punishment."
Kuttey ki to kismat haihttps://twitter.com/iKunaal/status/699562516662214657 …,Even the dog has a luck factor. https://twitter.com/iKunaal/status/699562516662214657 …
"""Mein Kaun Banega Crorepati se Amitabh Bachchan bol raha hu..""
 
 SBI Employee: Ab to bank band hone ka time ho gaya. Kal phone karna..","""i am amitabh bachchan from kaun banega crorepati""
 
 SBI Employee: now its time to close the bank. call tomorrow."
@akshaykanitkar Bajate Raho !! @witchybitchygal,@akshaykanitkar keep drumming !! @witchybitchygal
#WorldNoTobaccoDay issi baat par ek cigarette sulgao.,"#WorldNoTobaccoDay on this note, let's drink a cigarette."
"""Bhaiya ek Malai chicken kofta lana"" #DrunkDialogue","""brother, please bring one malai chicken kofta"" #DrunkDialogue"
@Jamuntini Oh ho. Aaj Ghaib.,@Jamuntini Oh ho. today G=ghaib.
@Gauribee naa gori naa,@Gauribee no white no
only kejriwal ... baki sab bakwass,only kejriwal everything else rubbish
Chota bachcha samajh ke humko na aankh dikhaana re.. - Arya Stark @AndColorPockeT,don't show me eyes assuming that i am a small child. arya stark @AndColorPockeT
@lack_a_daisy @Being_Humor bhai minus one point tujhe,"@lack_a_daisy @Being_Humor brother, one point minus to you"
"From ""azaadi hi meri Dulhan hai"" to ""Mera toh kaam hi mera valentine hai""","from ""freedom is my bride"" to ""my work is my valentine"""
@MeetUunngLee sab networks aise hi hai bhai,"@MeetUunngLee all networks are like that, man."
its Ch 97 99:34 tune galat bola.. ab to tu gaya @friendlii_ghost,its Ch 97 99:34 you told wrong.. now you are gone..  @friendlii_ghost
.@sonakshisinha ladkdi ne dimaag wali baat kahi haipic.twitter.com/czDwKdvDaS,.@sonakshisinha the girl has given a witty piece of advice. pic.twitter.com/czDwKdvDaS
Bharat mata ki jaihttp://markmanson.net/a-dust-over-india …,long live india !!  http://markmanson.net/a-dust-over-india …
chota bheem new movie kab aayegi sir? can't wait,when will chotta bheem new movie come? can't wait.
@Lala_The_Don abb Bihar mein achha waqt shuru #GoodByeNitishKumar,@Lala_The_Don te good time of bihar has began #GoodByeNitishKumar
@KyaUkhaadLega @zoomphatak kyu bhai? Kya sawaal puchna hai?,@KyaUkhaadLega @zoomphatak why man? what question do you want to ask?
haan zindagi hamari kaat rahi hai.,"yes, life is passing."
Kal Modi ji Dubai se 4.5 lakh crore le kar aaye.. Aaj Bihar ko 1.25 de diya.. Ab bache 3.25 lakh crore,yesterday mr modi brought rs. 4.5 lakh crore from Dubai. today he gave rs. 1.25 lak crore to bihar. now he has rs. 3.25 lakh crore left.
"Jis team ke paas aise top 4 ho, use baki ke 7 players bonus me kyu diye jaate hain! #RCBvDD","the team which has these 4, why are those remaining 7 players given in bonus to them? #RCBvDD"
@kaalia_bhatt kuch dikh nahi raha,@kaalia_bhatt nothing can be seen
@GavriE01 hum yahan mazak karne aaye hain kya,@GavriE01 have we come here for a joke?
Relationship Status: Ummeed par boner kaayam hai.,Relationship Status: everthing is dependent on hope.
Bas karo @awk_doc ji.. Aankhon me aansu aa gaye,stop it @awk_doc ji.. i ran down to tears.
@Riskiest_Poison KABHI KABHI FRUSTRATE HO JATA HU,@Riskiest_Poison sometimes i get frustrated.
@Fabled_Me aise badnam mat kar @runjhunmehrotra,@Fabled_Me don't defame me like that @runjhunmehrotra
@huh_watnow koi bhi bhej do color screen wala,@huh_watnow send me any colour screen
bhai aapki ye movie chhappar far dega ,)
Mere paapa tumhare mummy ko aisa pyar se bulaate hai. https://twitter.com/e29ad41b95b341d/status/697799527986655234 …,my father sweetly calls your mother like this. https://twitter.com/e29ad41b95b341d/status/697799527986655234 …
"Uber chahiye? 2 minute main a jayegi. 
 
 Haan chahiye 
 
 Khud bula lo app khol ke lol","do you want a uber? it will come in 2 minutes
 
yes, i want.
 
call it yourself using the app."
@iamGunjanGrunge hum sab mile hue hai aur tum hile hue ho @witchybitchygal,@iamGunjanGrunge we are all together and you all are are frightened@witchybitchygal
Kanoon ne apna kaam kiya tabhi to teri terrorist beti ko maara.https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/607822591085051904 …,"the law did their work, that's why the terrorist killed the daughter. .https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/607822591085051904 …"
"when i teach a basketball in my own school ,we're gonna spend the 1st day watching larry bird videos ,&amp; the rest will take care of itself .","when i teach a basketball in my own school , we are going to spend the 1st day watching larry bird videos and the rest will take care of itself ."
@nawab_lucknow daya aati hai inki condition pe mujhe..Pathetic#NitishKaNakliVikas,@nawab_lucknow i feel pity on their condition..Pathetic#NitishKaNakliVikas
@ImranKhanPTI #trump Ki bat kar raha hy or yah minister ho kr JIT ka rona ro raha hy,@ImranKhanPTI i am talking abut #trump and you being a minister are crying over JIT.
"@ttrinadasgupta Aaila, bahar kyu nahi","@ttrinadasgupta Aaila, why not outside?"
"Hum khud sure nahi hai ""toh Kautilya ke baarein main kya kahe #GST #IndiaToday #TheHinduExplains","we aren't sure ""so what do we say about kautilya? #GST #IndiaToday #TheHinduExplains"
"@Arunapk57 @JustLikeMikee bilkul, magar baaki 90% logon ke liye nahi :-P","@Arunapk57 @JustLikeMikee yes, but not for the remaining 90% of the people. :-P"
Lag rha hai aaj Rahul Gandhi Zimbabwe ka Support kr rhe the . #WhereIsRahulGandhi #WhereIsRahul,seems like rahul gandhi is supporting zimbabwe . #WhereIsRahulGandhi #WhereIsRahul
"@narendramodi ji ab bhot hogya "" ham aapki har baat maan rhe h aap bhi hamari ek baat manlo "" ab bullet ki jagah bullet hi khilao 0 #MannKiBaat","@narendramodi its too much "" we hear everything you say, now you hear us"" now eat bullet agaist a bullet #MannKiBaat"
@_fragrantica_ sarhadei'n insaano ke liye hain .. Socho tumne aur maine .. Kya paaya insaan hoke ..,@_fragrantica_ sarhadei is for humans .. think you and me .. what have we gained after being humans ..
"""Waah kya hashtag hai"" #GoonsOfNitishKumarpic.twitter.com/PrGQJpnyFC","""woah, what a hashtag"" #GoonsOfNitishKumarpic.twitter.com/PrGQJpnyFC"
@Khushi_Ranbir But ' Khushi ' zaroor use karna ...... accha sound karta hai :-),@Khushi_Ranbir But definitely use ' Khushi '...... it sound nice :-)
cc @OfficeOfRG sir ladki kashmiri bramhin hai.. ek teer do shikaarhttps://twitter.com/NotMits/status/756488849027657729 …,cc @OfficeOfRG sir the girl is kashmiri brahmin by religion. one arrow and two preys https://twitter.com/NotMits/status/756488849027657729 …
@insane_chorri Adeeba... ye tune kya kiya.. @narendramodi,@insane_chorri Adeeba... what have you done.. @narendramodi
"""Mein tumhare pyaar me Gadkari ji ke garden ki sabjiya kha sakta hu""#SanghiEmo","""i can eat the vegetables from gadkari's garden in your love""#SanghiEmo"
"@SarcaismAayegi Bihar mein bahaar
 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar","@SarcaismAayegi out of bihar
 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar"
@WatDaDuck_ bhai jab se wo chhod ke gayee hai.. Tab se daru chhad hi nahi rahi,@WatDaDuck_ bhai from the time she has left.. i am not able to drink beer.
RT @ayooshgupta : @SanjayAzadSln @AamAadmiParty HAHAHA ..... ODD_EVEN NE TO JANTA KI HI LELI .. & SWARAJ BHI ACCHA MILA DILLI VALO KAO ...,RT @ayooshgupta : @SanjayAzadSln @AamAadmiParty haha odd even has made peopl's lives miserable.. and peple of delhi got good freedom.
HAPPY MAHASHIVRATRI <3 JAI BHOLENATH <3<3 JAI MAA PARVATI <3 http://t.co/xMhhsKrpBV #Hindus #Hinduism http://t.co/iNe3qJVdtL,happy mahashivratri <3 hail god bholenath <3<3 hail ma parvati <3 http://t.co/xMhhsKrpBV #Hindus #Hinduism http://t.co/iNe3qJVdtL
Watching again #PCkumar at @abpnewstv @dibang Aaj bhi superhit hai #PCkumar,Watching again #PCkumar at @abpnewstv @dibang today also its superhit. #PCkumar
@imcomplicated__ tum itne durr ho phir bhi dil ke paas ho.,"@imcomplicated__ you are so far, but close to the heart."
@Sharanyashettyy Bura lagta hai jab Mecca Madina/Vatican se compare hota hai.. Kab tak tent house me rahenge Ram Lalla ?? AAKHIR KABTAK ??,@Sharanyashetiya looks bad when mekka gets clothes from medina or vatican .. how long will ram lalla stay in the tent house. till when 
cartoonist ne google se nikala hai prestige ka meaning(google prestige meaning and see for yourself) ,)
"Once again .. tum mujhe wo add wali ladki ka number do "" mujhe shaq@hai wo bhi #jio use kar rhi",once again .. you give me the number of the girl with that add i doubt @she is also using #jio
Iski bhi philum aa ri kya ?https://twitter.com/minimathur/status/801025520070774785 …,is this also a movie? https://twitter.com/minimathur/status/801025520070774785 …
"Gori teri aankhein kahein, raat bhar peeti rahi","tell me your eyes, you drink all night"
@Atheist_Krishna hehee.. Bhai kidding.. Mast lag raha hai,@Atheist_krishna hehee .. brother kidding .. looks cool
"@Atheist_Krishna maine mere phone camera se nikala hai ye pic, Rajasthan :)","@Atheist_krishna i have come out of my phone camera, this is behind rajasthan"
Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak me Aamir Khan aur Juhi Chawla ko pyaar hua tha.. Kya hua ?? Maare gaye na dono..pic.twitter.com/6KRmETQ74L,aamir khan and juhi chawla fell in love with qayamat se qayamat .what happened both were not killed.
@jnsbmi Modi ko gaali diye bina Nitish ji ka khana kaise hazam hoga unka #GoodByeNitishKumar,@Jnsbmi how will nitish ji's food be shaved without abusing modi #GoodByeNitishKumar
"@SwaggerBanno mere zakhmon par namkeen hona hi tha toh hothon se laga lete, waise bhi chakna kam pad raha hai. #Irshaad","@Swaggarbano, my wounds had to be salty, and i would have applied it with my lips, it has to be less in any way. #irshad"
@CoupSteer 3 saal ka anter accha swasth maa majbut baccha ,)
Salman you r being human love you bby..... mujhe tumara pyar chiya or kuch nhi... love you??????,salman you are being human love you baby .i love you and nothing .love you
@sanjaymanjrekar bhai 25 jagah bol chuke ho same baat,@Sanjayamanjrekar brother you  have spoken same thing on 25 places
Damaad ki bhi izzat nahi ki. Intolerance is rising. #IndvsPak,son-in-law also is not respected. intolerance is rising. #indvspak
@Alllahdin Aashirwad banaye rakhe _/\_,@Alllahdin keep blessing 
@Gurmeetramrahim Good morning pitaji . Dhan Dhan Satguru Tera hi Aasra Need #BlessingsOfMSG,@Gurmeetramrahim good morning father. great sadguru I need you blessings #BlessingsOfMSG
"@narendramodi #TripleTalaq ke ""baad ""sir ab dahej ke against kuch kade kanoon ""banaiye pls address this problem.","@Narendramodi #TripleTalaq  sir, now make some tough laws against dowry  please address this problem."
Koi fayda hai inko ye sab dikhane se????,is there any benefit to them from seeing all this ????
Modi ji hamara hindustan ka naam saada ucha rakhna.jai bharat mata jai hind..,modi ji should always keep the name of our india. jai bharat mata jai ​​hind ..
@Footloose_Free @jasmiine_01 Sachin ke bina yeh world cup adhoora hai ! :| #missYouSachin,@Footloose_Free @jasmiine_01 this word cup is incomplete without sachin  #missyousachin
Ab Kaun Karega Anhoni Ko Honi ? @msdhoni #dhoni #retirement #cricket,now who will make it possible from impossible @msdhoni #dhoni #retirement #cricket
"@Gauribee aaja aaja ab kaisaa sharmaana, dheere dheere se dil ko churana","@Gauribi come  how shy now, steal the heart slowly"
Deja Vu hai. Mark idhar thaa... Pichle saal bhi.,is deja vu. mark was here… even last year.
@BolshoyBooze Sir ek plate kajal pakode dena.,@BolshoyBooze sir grabs a plate of kazal pakode.
film ka story mast he aur aap bhi mast ho............,the story of moive is good and you are also good.
Bhai... Aap ki original voice nhi hai..,brother… this is not your original voice..
Share karo market mein naya aaya hai pic.twitter.com/MCDOsNu3Sr,share this it is new in the market pic.twitter.com/MCDOsNu3Sr
@LosingMotion Sabke saath chali jao.. bas hamare hi saath mat jaan philum dekhne @AnushkaSharma,"@LosingMotions, go with everyone .. just don't watch the film with us @AnushkaSharma"
"@vinaylohia82 @SonyTV Aaj Hoga #Karn Ka Aagaman 
#SuryaPutraKarn 
Adbudh Show from #SonyTV
#KarnRisesTonight","@vinaylohia82 @SonyTV today will happen  #KarnKaAagaman 
#SuryaPutraKarn 
fantastic show from #SonyTV
#KarnRisesTonight"
@MePurplelicious aur ek majnoo ghayal :p,@Mepurplelicious and one lover injured: p
kaun bole parents ko nahi hai interest unke bete mein :d :d toh bekar mein kyun dekho usse ,) 3:)
"@tweeting_pal matlab koi kuch bhi nikal sakta hai, maine toh woh bilkul nahi kaha","@Twitting_Pal means anything can come out, i did not say that at all"
bhagwan aisi girlfriend sabi ko de  .  .  par start mujhse kare :p,god give such a girlfriend to everyone. but start with me
@sk00monu Don No. 1 to best hai :P wo aa rahi hoti to baat hi kya thi,@ sk00monu don. 1 is the best: if she was coming then what was the matter
ye aaiyena naaa wala character you will find in every school and college  .  har cheej me hoshiyari deta hai ye character :@ :@ :p,this is not a character you will find in every school and college. this aaiyena character gives intelligence in everything:
Bhai tu odd day pe Facebook kiya kar aur even par LinkedIn https://twitter.com/Atheist_Krishna/status/682869864243974144 …,brother you try facebook on odd day and try linkedin on even day LinkedIn https://twitter.com/Atheist_Krishna/status/682869864243974144 …
"gaali dena kam kar diya hai maine yahan, warna ek badi wali zaroor deta, mauka bhi hai aur dastoor bhi, chutiye bhare hai","i have stopped abusing here, otherwise i would have given a big one, there is a chance and a lot of tricks too"
"Nice work brother , Hum sab me Gabbar hai !! ;) https://t.co/k2uvDXr0JJ","nice work brothers, we all have rowdy in ourself http: //t.co/k2fudsar 0jj"
Hi @bomanirani sir Apne kaha tha remind kradana Autograph send karna hai so please send kardo .,"hi @Bomnirani sir, you said that you want to send autographs, so please send them."
ohohoohooo.. is level pe aane ke liye is saal ke end tak rukna hoga mujhe :P,ohhoochooo .. i have to stay till the end of this year to come to this level:
@ek_samosa_dena Tu theek hai na? Rulayega kya?,@ a_samosa_dena are you ok will you make me cry
@LoKarloUnfollow karara jawaab milega.. karara jawaab milega..,@LoKarloUnfollow you will get the answer to the answer.
@IScreamPunday @SritikaDhar naahi,@IScreamPunday @SritikaDhar naahi
@Nirmalogy kaisa hai bhai,@Nirmalogy how is it brother
Woh sab theek hai magar tu kahan hai?,"that is all right, but where are you"
@Nomnombiar Aisay Thorina hota hai,@Nomnobier this is not the way
ye ek baar hi bolo kafi hai  @isaifpatel,say it once is enough @ isifepatal
Sbi exited h k pakistan harega ... aree ye koi nai baat h kya ... #IndvsPak,all excused that pakistan will be defeated ... is this a new thing ...  #IndvsPak
"@IdrisGandhi @ravishndtv @ndtv @BJP4India @RSSorg i think tjey forgot to show song of Roja movie "" Bharat Hamko Jan se Pyara hai ""","@IdrisGandhi @Ravishanadattva @andattva @Bjp4Dindia @RSSorg i think they forgot to show song of roja movie ""bharat humko jaan se pyar hai"""
.@JhaSanjay chup ho jaa....pic.twitter.com/Jhf4egi9uo,@ jhansanjay be silent ....pic.twitter.com/Jhf4egi9uo
RT @2806anu : @puspraj Challenge : Isse bura likh ke bataao,rt @2806anu: @ pushparaj challenge: cab you write worse than it
"So if you think relationships are just about spending money .,.,.. i am glad you don't have any Girlfriend .,., :P",so if you think relationships are just about spending money. i am glad you don't have any girlfriend 
Apne career ke Shikhar Dhawan par !!,shikhar dhawan on his career 
ek baar toh guddu ko bhi chalaney detey .  .  ya idhar bhi pair nahi pahunch rahe ?  :p,"once, even let guddu walk. . or are not reaching the pairs here"
"Raj Thackeray: Pay Rs.5 crores

Karan Johar:  Kabhi ye humse ladta hai kabhi jhagadta hai, koi paas iske na aana, ye ladka hai deewana.","raj thackeray: pay rs.5 crores karan johar: sometimes he fights with us, sometimes he quarrels, no one comes near him, this boy is crazy."
where r uu...bhaiii ...plzz one rplyy mustt onlyy onee:-(,where are you. brother ...please reply must only once.
Yaar surname badal kar Choonawala rakh le.https://twitter.com/tehseenp/status/894906260943810560 …,Yaar change surname and keep it as choonawala .https://twitter.com/tehseenp/status/894906260943810560
Salman bhai jai ho. Blessings to bajrangi bhaijann. ....,salman brother congrats and blessings to bajrangi bhaijaan.
@vakeel_saheba saraab nahi peeta main raviwar ko,@vakeel_saheba i don't drink alcohol on sundays
"IshQ waLa || ~ ^ŁøVě^ ~ || — listening to Ishq Wala Love ( From "" Student of the Year "" ) The DJ Suketu Lounge Mix",ishq wala listening to ishq wala love  from  student of the year the dj suketu lounge mix
"My ExRoomie & whenever I chk him on phone now . I remember "" Raj , naam to suna hi hoga "" ( Yes https://t.co/xsQZqk8xDk https://t.co/R0lTcnQXKd","my exroomie and whenever i check him on phone now . i remember  raj ,  you would have heard my name ( yes https://t.co/xsqzqk8xdk https://t.co/r0ltcnqxkd"
@GaurangBhardwa1  zinda hu yaar kaafi hai,@GaurangBhardwa1 i am alive that is enough.
"Hamare paas fruits khareedne ki haisiyat hai, Zomato se khana order karte hai hum Rs.400 ki, delivery boy ko Rs.20.
Ye main gareeb ko de du","we have the ability to buy fruits, we order food with jomato for 400 rupees, delivery boy with rupees 20. i give it to the poor"
chicago: go see @someUSER #lovesgotaholdonme #sat october 27th 7p at the #haroldwashingonculcntr 47th &amp, king dr .
Believe na ho to wikipedia me Awards section padh le #ConfusionKaEnd #SRKDonates1crToChennai #ISupportDelhiOddEven https://t.co/eegdts4Kf8,if you don't believe then you can read it from wikipedia #confusionkaend #srkdonates1crtochennai #isupportdelhioddeven https://t.co/eegdts4kf8
"Hi, I am a writer.
Hafte bhar se ghar par paani nahi aaya hai, aur dadaji ka jhola lekar ghum raha hu, koi vada paav khila do.","hi, i am writer. there has been no water at home since a week, and i am walking around with grandpa's bag, someone buys me a vada pav ."
@Singhlicious bas sab khairiyat :-),@Singleius just all well
@Fuljhadii kya mazzaak karte ho,@Fuljhadii are you kidding.
"Misbah to Butler: Kuch acha sa khila do yaar, haar gaye! :(
Shoaib Akhter: Tu Rehem Kha, Rehem. Usi ke layak hai #AUSvPAK","misbah to butler: feed me some good food, we lost
Shoaib Akhter: you just eat  mercy,you deserve that  #AUSvPAK"
@PennyPurewal kaun hai?,who is @PennyPurewal
@twinitisha shahrukh ki movies kabhi achi hoti hai?,@Twineetisha shahrukh movies ever good
Saadar pranaam. Su Prabhat!,"regards, good morning"
boondi k ladoo vala din :p,the day of ladoo 
dollar gains on euro amid greek woes: new york - the euro sagged against the dollar on thursday as the revised g .  .  .  http/URL,dollar gains on euro amid greek woes: new york - the euro sagged against the dollar on thursday as the revised g . . . http/url
"Ladki gori honi chahiye chahe ladke ki shakal koyle jaisi ho. 
Assholes.",the girl should be fair even if the boy's face is like coal.
today: sefton v @someUSER home 12noon - including president's day, 2nd xi v @someUSER away 12 . 45pm .  let's hope the forecast's wrong !
@aliaa08 @zmilap gandi ladki. Abhi to tum 18 ki bhi nahi hui thik se !,@aliaa08 @zmilap dirty girl. you are not even 18 yet
#IndvsPak Lagatar 6 #WC se TV todte aa rahe h hahahaha ....,#IndvsPak has been continuously breaking the tv for 6 year #WC
@RoflGandhi_ Saralta mein sachai,@Rolgandhi_Easy in truth
Bhai tu marathi hai.. tu jaake sairat dekh,brother you are marathi .. you go and see sairat
4 baje meri college mein class hai bhai jaaan :(,"in my college,i have class brother at 4 o'clock "
@sonisinghall lag raha* hai,looks like @sonisinghall
"let the good times roll !  tomorrow is mardis gras at st .  philip's ,  with the bob deangelis dixieland band and gumbo lunch .  join us at 10:30 ! ","let the good times roll  tomorrow is mardis gras at st . philip's , with the bob deangelis dixieland band and gumbo lunch  join us at 10:30"
"""Hum Laye Hain Toofan Se Kashti Nikal Ke"" - Modi
""Hum to wapas toofan me le jaenge"" - Shatru
#BiharKaJaichandShatrughan",we have brought the kayak out of the storm - modi  we will take you back into the storm - enemy #biharkajaychandshatrughan
thanx salman bhai..love u forever,thanks salman brother..love you forever
guddu india ka lucky charm hai :d,guddu is the lucky charm of india
#341 : Best part of the placement orientation was that hot Matki Chick . Really wanna hook up with her . Suggest a way .,#341 : best part of the placement orientation was that hot matki chick . really want to hook up with her . suggest a way .
inhe kaho hindi hi theek hai .  .  aise to guddu ki english aur bigad jayegi :d,tell them hindi is fine. this is how guddu's english will get worse
"Aankhon hi aankhon mein ishaara hogaya, baithe baithe FIR ka sahara hogaya?","there was a hint in the eyes, there was support for sitting again on fir"
@jhunjhunwala Main be-Car nahi hoon aise hi mat Thoko kuch bhi @indiantweeter,@Jhunjhunwala i'm not a car that is why do not push me like anything @indiantweeter
@sunny_congress #are waah !! ..... dharti maa ka yaad ... supperb tu sawa sher h,@sunny_congress #are waah. remember my nation . supperb you are a great man.
Apake upar bharosa hai.. ..bhai! Aap koi galat kam nahi kar sakte.. .. !,trust you .. brother you can't do any wrong thing .
@owl_baba Bhai wo i6 hoga  @kitAnurag,@owl_baba brother  it would be i6   @kitAnurag
wagh bakri chai is though. Add with chaayos Adrak Tulsi. Good taste.,tiger goat tea is this. add with chaos ginger basil. good taste
Koi accha contest b nahi jab free hote,when we are free we do not get good contest
"@PushprajZala NO, SOCH SAMJH KE KIYA KAR. KABHI VOTE NAHI KIYA ELECTION ME?","@PushprajZala no, do it by thinking. never voted in the election"
"@LoKarDi_RT LOL! bura laga? Sorry ok? 
But table aur chair ki fikrr karni chahiye, adkki mil jaaye toh kaam aayega!","@Locardi_rat lol  felt bad  sorry ok you should worry about the table and chair, it will be useful if you get adakki"
ha ha nain aisa kuch nahin hai :),lol no nothing like this 
@tweetingsourav bete jis tarah susu ka koi time nahi hota.. Waise hi sly ka koi time nahi hota ,)
"@gappistanradio Meanwhile Faridabadi , ah ! Daily ka routine h , aaj jogging karte hue jaunga .","@GappistanRadio manwhile faridabadi, this is my daily routine, today i will go with jogging."
@Sharanyashettyy kuch bhi chalega @sunandavashisht @ask0704,@Sharanyashettyy anything will be fine @sunandavashisht @ask0704
damn .  i thought i was the onlu one who did this :),damn . i thought i was the only one who did this
#surgicalstrikes Duniyan ne loha mana hai .. gadaro aur deshdrohio ki tolly me hahakar hai . Aur dusman muh chipa kar dar se saham gaya hai .,#sargishaalastrikas whole world knows the power that there is an outcry in the group of traitor to the country and enemies are afraid of hiding his face.
"Mujhe paid tweet karne hai, shaadi ke paise ikatthe karne hai.",i want to tweet for money and i want to collect money for my wedding.
aww my daddy is best too  .  .  i love my paa  .  .  :),aww my daddy is best too .i love my paa .
RT @usha_khokhar : Pakistan ke liye Venue Change hua Menu nahi .. Mili haar hi #IndvsPak,rat @usha_kokhar: for pakistan there is a no change in venue just changed menu . received defeat #IndvsPak
"NaMo-mere paas sarkar hai , pin stripe suit hai , india ke development ke plans hai . Tere paas kya hai ? RaGa : mere paas holiday hai #WhereIsRahul","namo - i have a government, a pin striped suit, india's development plans. what do you have raag: i have a holiday #WhereIsRahul"
"playing @someUSER all day to prep for tomorrow's concert at fort canning .  go ,  baby ,  go go ! ","playing @someUSER all day to prepare for tomorrow's concert at fort canning. go , baby , go"
@itsdhruvism bhai aapne be j jan,@itsdhruvism brother you are our love.
"Chalo koi na hota hai, ladkon ko aise aage ruka kar mat rakhna. Ok?","come on it happens, do not stop the boys like this. okay"
@vikrantkumar yahi hota hai :),@Vikrantkumar this is what happens 
guddu ek mahine baad aa rha hai .  . world cup ke liye kuch nahi kiya .  .  .  .  .  . nalayak .  .  .,guddu is coming after a month. . did nothing for the world cup. . . . . . unworthy . . .
@AnubhaShukla7 wo to malyali hai :),@Anubhashukkal7 that's malayali
@Insane_chorri bas maja ma. Khushi ke aansu aa rahe hai,@ insane_chorri just having fun tears of joy are coming.
@anuradha_kush Nakaam mohabbat ki aag main jal rahi mahila aur yeh aashiq number 2,"@ anuradha_kush, the woman burning in the fire of incomplete love and this romance is number 2"
"Friday night hai, beer piyo apne aansoo nahi.","this is friday night, drink beer, do not drink tear."
choot ko kejri se compare karke choot ko gaali na de @Shishir_Singh76,do not abuse the discount with the help of kejri. @Shishir_Singh76
319 Run To Bante Dikh Nai Rahe The ..,319 runs were making but not visible.
hey bajrangbali bas aaj ek reply mil jaye..,hey bajrangbali just get a reply today ..
Koun kahta hai modi ji kam nahi kar rahe 4 mahine mein hi #Trump ka replica bana diya .... #YogiAdityanath,"who says modi ji is not working, made # trump's replica in 4 months . #YogiAdityanath"
harry redknapp 2nd favourite at 7/4 to be next blackburn boss !  !  venkys please make this happen !  !  !  !  #makeredknapparover,harry redknapp 2nd favourite at 7/4 to be next blackburn boss  venkys please make this happen #makeredknapparover
ab to tu aajkal pata nahi kaha gayab rehta hai @A_PerfectBlend,I do not know nowadays where you disappear. @A_PerfectBlend
"Suna hai @BolshoyBooze ki shaadi hone wali hai.
Kitne Dil tootenge?",heard @Bolshoybooze is going to get married. how many hearts will be broken
Salman ji apka favorite gAna konsa hai bajrangi bhaijan film ka?????,salman which is your favorite song in bajrangi bhaijaan film 
ye ketu aur Rajdeep Rahu ? @sagarikaghose,these ketu and rajdeep rahu? @sagarikaghose
ambuja cement se chipka do guduu ko .  .,affixed guddu to ambuja cement. .
"Dil mein apne Monday ka darr lekar jaage ho, toh zinda ho tum.","you are awakened with fear of monday, you are alive."
@Fussy_Ca abe 3000 me lee hai maine,@Fussy_Ca hey I bought it for 3000
@Atheist_Krishna eet ka jawaab pathar sepic.twitter.com/Zktq0SzqmO,@Atheist_Krishna to pay back in the same coin with interest  pic.twitter.com / ztak5
"RT @MehakTweets_ : Gets up . Voice from the lounge "" Aur dekho aik aur supporter jaag gyi hai "" 🙄🙄🙄🙄",rt @MehakTweets_: gets up. voice from the lounge and see one more superstar has woken up.
jb pehle hi pta hai ki ye tingu lofer hai .  . :d,when you already know that it is tingu loafer.
Baby ko sirf nalayak haramkhor ladke hi pasand hai.,baby only likes boyish boys.
yea .. i can not disagree with the confession ..... and yes ... i was among the exceptions ..,yea .i can not disagree with the confession .and yes .i was among the exceptions .
bhai iftaar farty hai kya?,is brother iftar farty
@Chaitanya_13 ludo. Kahan hai aajkal?,@Chaitanya_13 ludo. where is nowadays
"lol, ye kya hai?!","lol, what is this "
Acha sila diya tune mere pyaar kahttps://twitter.com/anandvasu/status/846617515295830022 …,you did not pay me back my love https: //twitter.com/anandvasu/status/846617515295830022
"@iamEvilPrince @ShraddhaKapoor @FitbitIN ayye Chupp tu, bhabhi hai teri","@Tmvilprins @sraddhapur @fitbitin silent , she is your sister-in-law"
ye sonia ji ki bahu hai @autumnrainwish,she is the daughter-in-law of sonia ji @autumnaranwish
"""AAP jaisa koi mere zindagi mein aaye toh jhand ho jaaye"" - Delhi Chaps","""if someone like you comes in my life, then my life becomes complicated -delhi chaps"
lekin chalk laya kaha se ?,but from where you get the chalk
To ye tere chacha ne kiya hai ?,so what has your uncle done?
garbage .  .  yaar tussi har bar dil jeet lete ho kasam se  .  .  kya mast reality har bar saamne late ho .  .  .  apni saari harkate yaad aa jati hai :p :d,"garbage .  friend, you win the heart every time i swear.  what a reality you show us every time . misses all my deeds."
JUG soona soona laage - Sonam Kapoor,sonam kappor feels like the entire world has no one 
"Silent Message for all of you guys ,,,,,,,,, Hahhahaha AAP MLA Akhilesh Tripathi #Intolerance @AAPMagic @aapkipreeti https://t.co/hivfuI3I2n","silent message for all of you guys , lol aap mla akhilesh tripathi #intolerance @AAPMagic @aapkipreeti https://t.co/hivfui3i2n"
"RT @ShivAroor : Anyone care ? The 3 Army jawans ambushed , killed by NSCN terrorists in Arunachal Pradesh today : Sanjiv Kumar Parmal Singh Guj","rt @ShivAroor : anyone cares  the 3 army jawans ambushed , killed by nscn terrorists in arunachal pradesh today : sanjiv kumar parmal singh guj"
@narendramodi dekh raha hoon aajkal aap bhi #ManmohanSingh mode pe chale gaye hain 0,@Narendramodi i am watching nowadays aap has also gone to #ManmohanSingh mode
Police peecha kar rahi mera.. pic.twitter.com/RZVL9FUV03,the police is following me . back pic.twitter.com/RZVL9FUV03
"@JrYoungmonk Kuch na kar ek din, bohot bura hoga aaj :P","@JrYoungmonk  do nothing one day, it will be bad today"
kisi ne bhi sweter kyu nahi pahna h itni sardi me ?  ?  :o,why didn't anyone wear a sweater in this winter
@intrinsiclutter Not joking sach much taras aata hai,@intrinsiclutter not joking really makes me crave
.@MehrTarar bhabhi India me aapke saare dewar aapko yaad kar rahe hai..,@MehrTarar sister-in-law your brother-in-law in india are missing you..
@friendlii_ghost kab .. Bataya bhi nahi,@friendlii_ghost when .. not even told
@gajender00 Lalu aur nitish dono ek hi sikke k 2 pahelu #NitishKaNakliVikas,@ gajendar00 both lalu and nitish are in the same coin.
"Ghaseet ghaseet kar leke jao sabko Snapchat par, waise bhi Twitter zyada hi bhar gaya hai.","cursively drag everyone to snapchat, twitter is too much anyway."
@MeetUunngLee hurt you? Nahin bhai aap stud hai,@MeetUunngLee harat yu? no bro you are stud
"Bahot zor se food blogger banna hai, khaane peene ke vaande hai.","become a food blogger very badly, to eat and drink food."
yaar itna dhaansoo humor kaha se late ho  .  .  .  .  .,where do you bring this much  humor? . . . .
@riksec08 #CrackerNACrackKAR bolne wale ki baat mat sun,@riksec08 #CrackerNACrackKAR don't listen to the speaker
o .  .  .  bc .  .  .  .  bhai purani saari yadein taaza karr di rofl !  !,brother you made all the memories come alive
Iss Kanhaiya ko apni bansuri par control nahi haihttps://twitter.com/NewsX/status/707893915085443073 …,this kanhaiya does not have control over his flute. https://twitter.com/NewsX/status/707893915085443073 .
asli power dil me hoti hai  @friendlii_ghost,real power lies in the heart @friendlii_ghost
ab south africa me bhi shop ke bhar #bika_hua_wapis_nhi_hoge ka board ltga hai .... #IndvsSA shabash shero ..........!! make us proud .....,"now in south africa too, there is a board of  #bika_hua_wapis_nhi_hoge. #IndvsSA great man make us proud ."
lol. ab nahi aayega jawaab @TheTopiWriter @AdvancedMaushi,lol. now the answer will not come @TheTopiWriter @AdvancedMaushi
To bhai SRK ka target audience India hai ya UAE.. Agli film Dubai me release hogi to tu kaise dekhege  https://twitter.com/SRKswarrior1/status/678074882379423744 …,"So brother srk's target is audience India . if the next film will be released in dubai, how will you watch it. https://twitter.com/SRKswarrior1/status/678074882379423744 ."
Aur #RahulGandhi ji ne apni hi Party @INCIndia aur apne pariwar k itne saalon k is mehnat par ek aur #SelfGoal kar diya ...,and #RahulGandhi ji has done another #SelfGual on this fact of his own party @INCIndia and his family for so many years .
#trump must be so envious of #kejriwal .. Sochta hoga aisa kya karta Hai ye aam aadmi ki mujhse jyada trend ho raha hai,#trump must be so envoys of #kejriwal..would think what does this make this common man is trending more than me
"@YearOfRat batao aap, kahan milna hai? @Alllahdin @retardedwriter",@YearOfRat tell you where to meet @Alllahdin @retardedwriter
@Prachiekins Ye duniya pittal di,@Parachakins entire world is of brass.
i totaly agree with the post  .  .  teachers have no right to spoil students carrer now  .  .  .  .,i totally agree with the post .teachers have no right to spoil students career now . 
@rahulroushan Dosti bani rahe,@RahulRaushan keep friendship going
Sena se #SurgicalStrike ke proof maangne wale pakistan premi #ArvindKejriwal deshdrohi hain . twitter . com / xX 7 W 3 kC 0 Tu,"pakistan lover #ArvindKejriwal is a traitor, seeking proof of #SurgicalStrike from army. twitter . com / xX 7 W 3 kC 0 Tu"
"Superb again!! Line mat kaato kutton, aap Qatar mein Hai.https://twitter.com/hankypanty/status/895235287579865088 …","superb again !! do not cut the line dogs, you are in qatar."
@clued_up_chic zindagi abhi baaki hai mere ghost,@ clued_up_chitch life is still incomplete my ghost
"RT @aryaraju : As per Rajmala , the royal chronology of Tripura , a total of 184 kings ruled over the state . #7SistersOfIndia #History","rt @aryaraju : as per rajmala , the royal chronology of tripura , a total of 184 kings ruled over the state . #7sistersofindia #history"
endymion for the 4th time i blieve .  !  ahaha #teamorjan #clhrday,endymion for the 4th time i believe . #teamorjan #clhrday
guddu ab  .  .  .  young ho raha h  .  .,guddu now. . . getting young .
"Ghar main Agarbatti din main do baar use hoti hai. Pooja important hai but ""Pooja ""Archana Sadhana etc nahi. #GSTCouncil #GST",he gets incense sticks twice a day in the house. pooja is important but puja is not everything. #GSTCouncil #GST
@Mohit_JNU @Shehla_Rashid @UmarKhalidJNU @kanhaiyajnusu aur tum log maza le rahe hai 0 Student #JNU ka protest kar rahe #AMU 0 wah wah wah,@Mohit_Janu @Shehla_Rashid @Umarkhalidjanu @Kanhaiyajanasu and you guys are enjoying students of #JNU and #AMU are protesting
"Tu apni state mein ""rape violence rok. Haryana ki durdasha kar di hai. Film bada issue nhi hai murkh. Bada Deshbhakti ka tekhedar bna hai.","you stop rape violence in your state. has made plight of haryana. the film is not a big issue, it's stupid. don't be so irresponsible"
@jalanpurvi @StarMoviesIndia i wish ke aap aur main ye contest jeete,@Jalampurvi @StarMovieIindia i wish that you and i won this contest
"Yaha ₹5 se lekar ₹500, sab chalte hain. Chhutte ki tension mat karo, bus Paytm karo.pic.twitter.com/1iaRdjOeoi","here don't worry about changes , do paytm from 5 rupee to 500 rupee pic.twitter.com/1iaRdjOeoi"
"baap bda na , bhiya ,  ,  sbse bda rupaiya h aj k liye .  .  .  .  .  . ",no one is bigger than rupee.
"@Being_Humor ye tujhe bechne ka plan kar raha hai, heera bolkar @indiantweeter","@Being_Humor, he is planning to sell you, by speaking diamond @indiantweeter"
@narendramodi Sir Jee Himmat Agar Itna He Hai to #Reservation Hatayiye... #Demonetization aur #GST to Koi Bhi Kar Sakta Hai..,@narendramodi sir ji if this courage is enough then remove #reservation ... #Demonetization and #GST then anyone can do it .
"Kareena: Kaun hai woh jisne mujhe dobara palat kar nahi dekha?
Sony TV: Anoop Soni",kareena: who's the one who didn't see me turning around again? sony tv: anoop sony
.@brownbrumby jaa bhai sawari dhoond..  @BinaKaheLunga,.@brownbrumby go brother and search for passenger  @BinaKaheLunga
excited about the bump in ram for raspberry pi .  such a nice surprise for a monday .  : ),excited about the bump in ram for raspberry pi . such a nice surprise for a monday .
Trai ko kya problem Hai jab koi free de Raha Hai #jio #airtel,what is the problem for trai when someone is giving free #jio #airtel
Dil dhak dhak karne laga.. mora jiyara darne laga.. https://twitter.com/Coolestvibe/status/780083496656117760/photo/1pic.twitter.com/CSwEaTINjQ ,heart throbbed .. mora jiera started to get scared . https://twitter.com/Coolestvibe/status/780083496656117760/photo/1pic.twitter.com/CSwEaTINjQ 
@manish239994 AC bahut chalta hai,@manish239994 AC operates a lot.
"paise dene ki baat hi nahi rahi, bas khana khila do (in lines to my original tweet) :-)","there is no question of giving money, just feed me food these lines to my original tweet"
"@iamsrk @Varun_dvn @kritisanon Shah ka ek comment aur media walle peeche bhaage , waise hee mere manwa mai emotions jaage ;)","@iamsrk @Varun_dvn @kritisanon shah's one comment and the media ran behind, likewise in my human amotions"
arey bhai pm ho  .  . desh ko ullu mat banao !,hey brother you are a prime minister . do not fool the country
@akshaykanitkar @RoflGandhi_ ye to prasad bhi leke aaya hoga,@akshaykanitkar @RoflGandhi_ ye must have also brought prasad
@HiighBeta aaj vrat rakha hai ?,@HiighBeta fasted today?
@NeetuGarg6 @ArjunIrplast @RitaG74 @YouTube crores Logon mein ye chand saans lete haanfnewale netaon ne poore pradesh ki saanse kaise rok di,@NeetuGarg6 @ArjunIrplast @RitaG74 @YouTube How did the  leaders stop breathing of the crowds?
@SRKswarrior1 maine jaaneman bdekhi thi Don nahi,@SRKswarrior1 i watch janeman i have not watched don
Agar aur ek meeting ho gayi toh recession bhi sabse pehle aa jaega. #GST,"if there is another meeting, the reception will also come first. #GST"
accha hua packet pe chips likh diya varna pata hi nhi chalta kya kha raha h udbilau .  .,it is good that you have written the chips on the packet or else you do not know what you are eating. 
@Gurmeetramrahim #GratitudeToAllMothers Amazing video pita ji Love u lot,@Gurmeetramrahim #GratitudeToAllMothers amazing video father loves you lot
@SharmaJaungi @SlapSkirt isko khana nahi hota hai.,@Sharmajaungi @SlapsKirat it does not have food.
RT @Iam_Prerna : Ye nalayak out bhi honge aur gaaliyan bhi khayenge #IndvsPak,rat  @Iam_Prerna: they will be out and will also be abused #IndavsPak
So @muglikar_ ko economist banana tha isliye modiji ne desh ko gareeb banaya. Ab samza #DeMonetisation aur #GST ka game.,"so @muglikar_ ko had to become an economist, so modiji made the country poor. now understood #DeMonetisation and #GST game."
hamare college me laddu k jgh pedha diye .  .  .,"in our college, we get laddoo instead of barfi"
"@YearOfRat best part hai woh, likhna sach mein bhi ulta hi chahta hai woh dikh jayega, tweets mein zyada badlaav nahi honge.","@YearOfRat is the best part, he really wants to write it upside down, he will be seen, there will not be much change in tweets."
RT @shankarshanmugh : 2 - with Kenny bates action producer and Nirav shah DOP at Nehru stadium Delhi . https://t.co/9wTHvU9SLm,rt @shankarshanmugh : 2 - with kenny bates action producer and nirav shah dop at nehru stadium delhi . https://t.co/9wTHvU9SLm
@KajuBadamChor Galli galli mein phirta hai tu kyun ban ke banjaara????,"@KajuBadamChor in the streets, why do you become a banjara"
Haatim Tai ka beta lag raha haihttps://twitter.com/firstpost/status/775576636766973952 …,haatim tai's son is looking http: //twitter.com/firstpost/states/775576636766973952…
Haye hamari #RightToPrivacy kahana gayi @Nidhi @ndtv #RightToPrivacyVerdict,this our #RightToPrivacy where gone @Nidhi @ndtv #RightToPrivacyVerdict
Ye mera gaon hai aur main is gaon  ka Singham #Ranchipic.twitter.com/Au5l2xMcV9,this is my village and i am singham of this village.
"See the level of people doing phd , i dnt know wat shit they will teach to students ?","see the level of people doing phd , i don't know what shit they will teach to students "
Janta ne es jeet se dekha diya ha #GST #Demonetisation safal ha. Opposition ne bht koshish ki par asafal rhe. Ab Gujrat aur Himachal bhi aase he jeetenge,the public has seen with this victory #GST #Demonetities have been successful. opposition tried but failed. now gujarat and himachal will also win like this
@Shahrcasm mujhe kyu tag kiya hai @abpnewstv, @Shahrcasm why am i tagged @abpnewstv
@GabbbarSingh shaadi main jyada kuch aaya nahi. Car bhi maruti di hai.,"@GabbarSingh in wedding, i did not get much. the car is also maruti."
Dus bahaane kar ke bharwa di bill.,bill was filled by making ten excuses.
@Sanjoyjpr Thank you sir...umeed karta hun meri wajah se aapko koi dost nahin ganwana padega,@Sanjoyajpr thank you sir ... i hope you won't lose any friends because of me
Mujhe bhi koi book me jagah de do.https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/627686121086955520 …,give me a place in a book too.
@neha_rathore64 Bajrangi Bhaijaan kitni baar dekhi ?,@ neha_rathore 64 how many times did you see bajrangi bhaijaan?
yeh bhi theek kahan hai tumne mohtarma!,this is also right where you are!
@kaalia_bhatt Saale mere kandhe pe rakh kar bandook mat chalao ,)
Yeh sab #Trump ki wajah se ho raha hai 0 #INDvsAUS,this is all happening because of #Trump #INDvsAUS
"Ek dooni do, do dooni char
Kar do #LaluMuktBihar
#MDL","one double two, two double four do it  #LaluMuktBihar
#MDL"
mere pass ye 2013 wala bhi hai https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/310644632805576705 …,i also have the 2013 https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/310644632805576705 .
"#GoodAdviceIn4Words ""Chaar log kya kahenge"" - Indians",#GoodAdviceIn4Words what will four people say - indians
@imVkohli @sachin_rt kohli hai bhai kohli hai bura na mano holi hai . Virat bhai congrats for winning again against Pak . bharat mata ki jai,@imVkohli @sachin_rt this is kohli never mind holi. virat brother congrats for winning against pakistan. bharat mata ki jai
@sonakshisinha bhai @indiantweeter ab tu naye naye account bana ke sona ko pareshan karega !!!,@sonakshisinha brother @indiantweeter now you will create gold by creating new accounts 
kamaal karte ho Salman ji aayeh bhi nahi..,you are amazing. salaman ji you did not even come.
"@Marut_ kyonko agar ye 100% bolenge to log sochenge ki ye jhooth bol rahe hain, isliye 99.99 lol","@Marut_ kyonko if they say 100% then people will think that they are lying, that's why 99.99 lol"
iske bina to jeewan adhura tha .  .  .,"without it, life would have been incomplete. . ."
@HaramiParindey Hahaha.. kaafi Ojas hogaya tha ,)
"Tumhara pyar na huwa Vodafone 4G huwa, saala kabhi milta hi nahi.","your love is like vodafone 4g, that never meets you."
@vivekisms acche din aa gaye  @dhaval241086,@vivekisms good days have come @ dhawal241086
agar ne is class me hoti to kissi b boy ko top na karnr deti .  .  .  isme b toper me hi hoti .  .  .  .  :d,"if she had been in this class, she would not have toped any boy. . . it used to be  topper only. "
@dhaval241086 Ye AAPtards ki harkat hai !! @wistyloony @witchybitchygal @SatanKiNani,@ dhawal241086 this is the act of the operatives  @wistyloony @witchybitchygal @SatanKiNani
"@ashkaikini yaar, please yaar Ashwini. Chal daaru peete hai",@ashkaikini let's have a drink 
"@Oinkoo New York! Achcha achcha, maine socha America se liya hoga",@Oinkoo new york! good well i thought i would have taken it from america
@budha_monk Yes man but apna gujaara nahi hai is chalaak dunia mein,@ old_monk yes man but you don't live in this clever world
Usne bola aapne maan liya . Kapil sharma ne proof diya aapko aur chaiye .. Army ne #surgicalstrike ki apko saboot chaiye . U need break,he said you agreed. kapil sharma gave proof to you . army gave you proof of #surgicalstrike. need break
@DrKumarVishwas @indiaaakash Aaj ki duniya koi imandar nahi hai . Jo khud kahta hai wo sabse bad a chor hai .,@DrKumarVishwas @indiaaakash  today's world is not honest. he who says himself is the worst thief.
"Koi bhi colony mein ghusna ho toh saale puchte hai kahan jaoge? Tell them a random number, B-25 ya G-305, ye jaane denge andar","if anyone wants to enter the colony, where do you go? tell them a random number, b-25 or c-305, it will let in"
No change in team hum to batting hi karege ... Are ye anushka kidhar hai .. #IndvsSA,"no change in team, we will do batting… where is this anushka . #IndvsSA"
Bhaiyoooo apnay apnay kaam kerlo ... history won't be changed ....,brothers do your business. history won't be changed .
.@angryoungwoman shakahari hone ke liye vichaaro ko bhi shakahaari kare.. Aur haan kal Yoga zaroor kare..,@angryoungwoman  to become vegetarian  thoughts should be vegetarian too .. and yes do yoga tomorrow .
@arunjaitley service tax badha diya sir ?? Chalo jaise aap chaho !!!,@arunjaitley service tax hiked sir  we are moving as your wishes move
Yeh Dhoni KL Rahul ko century nahi banane dega.,dhoni will not allow rahul to complete his  century.
@lady_naarad ohh mujhe laga aapki ho chuki hai,@lady_naarad oh i thought you're done
grt step 4grt relation...nic job sir,great step for great relation.nic job sir
@_SandSurfer @ghost_particle ab tak untag nahi kiya!,@_SandSurfer @ghost_particle not yet untaged
Ab Bihar me aayegi bahaar #GoodByeNitishKumar,now spring will come in bihar #GoodByeNitishKumar
RT @shindekar : Shikher well played 100 not out .. gabbar abhi thokho ... #IndvsSA,rt @shindekar : shikher well played 100 not out .. gabbar now clap ... #IndvsSA
"Ab kya batayein, bhediyon par vishwas kiya ja raha hai, vishwasghaaat toh hoga.","now tell me, wolves are being believed, betrayal will happen."
"@someUSER hell yea lmfaoo  ,  &amp; see you tomorrow asia baby (;","@someUSER hell yeah lmfao , & see you tomorrow asia baby"
@witchybitchygal Par aap aati ho to bahar aa jati hai Twitter pe :) @HathwalaThakur,"@witchybitchygal when you come,  twitter is flooded with flowers  @HathwalaThakur"
"Mora piya muh se bolat nahi.

Toh kahan se bolat hai?",my husband does not speak with me. from where does he speak
"main bahut chhota aadmi hoon, meri koi aukat nahi hai. degree bhi hum fake hi use karte hain.","i am a very small man, i have no place in society. we also have fake degree."
@witchybitchygal aami tumake bhaalo bashi @iamGunjanGrunge,@witchybitchygal i love you @iamGunjanGrunge
kaha pe karinge baigan ,)
salman bhai ...... i lovee uuu tumharee liyeee jan bvi dee dengeee,salman brother i love you .i will  give my life to you
Aaj haarne wale hai :(,today is going to loose
@AskThePankazzzz jo kahna tha so kahna tha,@AskThePankazzzz what to say so say
"Dhoni's captaincy was shit today. Jahan bhi maarte hai wahan fielders nahi hote, boundary chali jati hai.","today including dhoni's capacity. wherever you kill, there are no fielders, the boundary goes away."
@BUnlimted isi darr se khaya nahi maine,@BUnlimted i did not eat for this fear
chalk lane me kitni mehnat lgti h guddu se sikho yar  .  .  .  .  .  .  . bda hard working boy h ,-)  .  .  .  .  .
@Singhlicious Ram Ram Singha. Kahan the aap?,@Singhlicious ram ram singha. where were you
monkey cap bhul gaye kya  ?,did you forget the monkey cap
@_Agathist jiska koi nahi uska khuda hai,@_Agathist  one who does not have anyone who has god
Waheeda Rehman is so cute in Ram Aur Shyam(1967) ! 😍,waheeda rehman is so cute in ram aur shyam (1967)
tujhe wo incident nahi pata urbansanyasi wala?,you do not know that incident urbansanyasi
@undercoverpro @JayHind 26 MARCH को ऑन एयर हुआ था,@undercoverpro @JayHind went on air on 26 march
"@mariam_tahir5 light nahi he ab bus aona name change kr k "" ROSHAN "" rakh leta hn .","@mariam_tahir5 is not  lights, now just change the name to be roshan."
@NumbYaar haha. Mere mind me kuch aur hota hai likhta kuch aur hu,"@NumbYaar i think something  in my mind, writes something else"
@Nirmalogy daya pata lagao.. Kuch to gadbad hai @DeShobhaa,@Nirmalogy  daya finds it out .. something is wrong @DeShobhaa
@someUSER you won't be getting candy till monday .  i am (by my own stupidity) a sick person right meow .   . - ,@someUSER you won't be getting candy till monday . i am by my own stupidity a sick person right meow .
Bhai week bada hi happening raha .. #bevkufBaba #Dokhlam #PVSindhu .. though ham log hi bs thande pade rahe ..,brother week has been very happy . #bevkufBaba #Dokhlam #PVSindhu but we did not find any way to be happy
Helmet aagaya hai bahar. Africa ki hogi ab haar! #IndvsSA,the helmet is come outside. africa will be defeated now #IndvsSA
saare teacher kuch zyaada hi masti karte hain .  .  .  .  :-p,all teachers have too much fun. 
"@DuttYogi @TheRahulMehra @ZeeNewsSports Salman ne kai baar kanoon toda hai , sharab peekar logo ki hatya ki hai , #SalmanForRio ??","@DuttYogi @TheRahulMehra @ZeeNewsSports salman has broken the law many times, murdered people by drinking alcohol,#SalmanForRio"
@MeetUunngLee sahi me bhai,@MeetUunngLee this is correct  brother
Bakwaas polls ke saath yahin hota haihttps://twitter.com/LoKarDi_RT/status/675739738712641536 …,this is what happens with rubbish polls: http://twitter.com/locardi_rat/states/675739738712641536…
@amit_043 Haha thanks ab jyada change ka scope bhi nahi hai,@ amit_043: thanks there is not too much scope of change
@Chaitanya_13 kuch bhi! LOL,@Chaitanya_13 anything lol
ab se cricket se sanyaas for few years .  .,from now retirement from cricket for few years.
"Shahid Afridi se dar nahi lagta saab, Umesh Yadav se lagta hai.",i do not afraid of sahid afridi i have a fear of umesh yadav
Sherni hai toh jungle mein jaaye yaar.https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/728497653093412864\xa0…,the lioness is to go to forest man https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/728497653093412864\xa0
"When I was 1 year old My parents took me to watch Sanam Bewafa , this was my first film in cinema hall ( Kuch bhi ... https://t.co/MVd1qcKwRp","when i was one year old my parents took me to watch Sanam bewafa , this was my first film in cinema hall . anything https://t.co/MVd1qcKwRp"
"Ye hai India ka tyohaar !!\n\nRT @Atheist_Krishna Ek taraf Preity Zinta ka pyaar, dusri taraf Sachin ka pyaar......!!\n\n#MIvsKXIP","This is the festival of India  @ Atheist_Krishna on one side love of Preity Zinta, on the other hand Sachin's love . #MIvsKXIP"
"itte dino baad  "" launcher ""  paaji dikhe :d :p",Launcher brother seen after so many days
@GaurangBhardwa1 paise ke bhakt ho tum,@GaurangBhardwa1 you are devotee of money
aap fenk ne mai powerful ki baat kar rahe ho kya ? result to yahi dikhata hai ! #sukmaattack #Trump #handmaidstale #ModiCheatsHimachal,are you talking about fake speeches to be powerful this is what result looks like #sukmaattack #Trump #handmaidstale #ModiCheatsHimachal
" #IBleedGreen inshaALLAH aaj hamaray fast bowlers kamal kar dikhayengay
",#IBleedGreen  inshaALLAH today our fast bowler will be shine
@BUnlimted Bolo Siyavar Ramchandra ki Jai..,say victory of siya rachandra 
"Tuje badi jalan ho rahi #Trump se "" aja main or tu ek photu khichwate ... Ethasik hogi "" #Monalisa k baad ...",you are very jealous of #Trump today i and you get a photo ... it will be historical after #Monalisa ...
@BolshoyBooze :'( Tu toh mat bol aise. Yahan ek nahi patti hai.,@BolshoyBooze you don't speak like this. there is no one here.
.@BhuvanRajora jo joote polish karne diye the won kab lautayega? @Being_Humor,@BhuvanRajora when will the shoes that were given to be polish be returned? @ Being_Humor
Hii bhaii.. Aap kese ho..?? Agar aap.mera cmmnt padh rhe ho toh plz ek reply kar dena,hi brother. how are you .if you are reading my comment then please reply me
"amazon: extra strength hair nutrient tablets ,  60-tablets (packaging may vary) by viviscal 649 days in the top 1 .  .  .  http/UR","amazon: extra strength hair nutrient tablets , 60-tablets packaging may vary  by viviscal 649 days in the top 1 .  http/UR"
kejriwal the most currupted person in indian politics .  .  . is baar modi sarkar .,kejriwal the most currupted person in indian politics. . . This time Modi government.
q3 0:54 .  eli manning pass intended for victor cruz intercepted by danny mccray at the dallas 35 returned for no gain .  1st &amp, 10 .
"Aaj Haldi-Ram ki hai, parso saghai. Tu aayega?","Today is Haldi of Ram, Day after tomorrow Engagement. Will you come?"
"@BolshoyBooze bhai, theek hai tu?","@BolshoyBooze Bro, are you okay?"
"@TheJungleBook is awesome ! Better to watch in Hindi esp to listen to Nana Patekar as Shere Khan "" again "" ! Irrfan and Om Puri were too good !","@TheJungleBook is awesome ! Better to watch in Hindi,  especially to listen to Nana Patekar as Shere Khan "" again "" ! Irrfan and Om Puri were too good !"
@indiantweeter yahan teri prashansa horahi hai bakwas na kar yaar :( @jhunjhunwala,"@indiantweeter We are praising you here, don't talk rubbish. @jhunjhunwala"
@LoKarDi_RT tumhe chhodkar? Na baba na,@Laokrdi_RT Leaving you? No
@AnantGJ zarurat se zyada RTs mil gaye,@AnantGJ you are getting more than enough RTs
@Mrophiophagus hahaha ..... anyone wud love to sponser you . Ek patak tweet gari herana ,)
@Vyomnaut sab ek hi jaisi lagti hain ab to. Jaye to kaha jaye.,@Vyomnaut sab ek hi jaisi lagti hain ab to. Should then be added.
"Yesterday: Talaq Talaq Talaq
Abhi: Qubool hai, Qubool hai, Qubool Hai?https://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/851721123452526592 …","Yesterday: divorce divorce divorce
Book: accepted, accepted, accepted ? Https: //tvitrkcom/timesnov/stets/85l72ll23452526592 ..."
"""Arey galti ho gayi. Agli baar tere se puch kar karunga. Ab kya bhai se baat bhi nahi karega""pic.twitter.com/LtPrhOWPZb","""i made a mistake. next time i'll ask you before doing it. Now you won't even talk to me"" Picktvitrkcom/LtPrhOWPZb"
bachpan ka flash back kara dete ho :(,you made me remeber of my childhood memories.
Yunki party k liye to hum ready hain par kya karen nahi aa sakte kyonki invitation sirf bhaiyo aur behno k liye hai.........,i'm ready to go for the party but what can i even do when just her brothers and sisters are invited
@indiantweeter sirf @narendramodi ji ki photo? Tu kahan hai?,@indiantweeter just @narendramodi 's photo? where are you?
ha ha hai :),Laughing
@Alllahdin @YearOfRat LOL. Yahan aakar phir hair growth hui hai,@Alllhdin @YearOfRat Laughing out Loud. At this point there has been re-hair growth
Aur agar apke support karne ka tarika yahi hai to aap to #JNU ko bhi support karte honge 0 #JNU #JNUSU,if this is your way to support then you must be already supporting #jnu 0 #jhnu #jhnusu
"@premlata_rai @retardedwriter tujhe sab pata hai, hai na?",@Premlt_ray  @retardedwriter do you knoweverything?
Saturday raat ka jashn racha jaaye.,We should plan the party on Saturday night.
"effat university wins the 1st  "" p&amp;g's university challenge ""  at the procter and gamble's university competition .  http/URL","effat university wins the 1st  "" p&g's university challenge ""  at the procter and gamble's university competition .  http/URL"
Waise to @ArvindKejriwal Sirf Sonia/Sisodia/Sanjay Ki hi sunte h par is bar @chetan_bhagat Ki sun li aur #AugustaWestland p muh kholdiya wah,"@ArvindKejriwal listens only to Sonia / Sisodia / Sanjay but this time, he spoke about @chetn_bgt and #AugustaWestland .wow"
Sorry we are not for sale :D,Sorry we are not for sale
mere liye toh papa ne stepny ke pichey special seat lagwayi thi :(,Dad had given me a special seat behind Stepney
4pm baje karenge . direct baat mere saath . this is what bogg bosss siad rightly,We will do at 4pm. Direct talk with me. This is what big boss said
Av tk advocates ko smajh nhi aya #GST kya h? aur @narendramodi ji bol rhe h ki #behtar n #saral #GST,So far the advocates don't understand what is #GST ? And @narendramodi is saying #behtar and #srl #grsht
"Bas tumne bol diya toh ye zaroor saare sununga, achha hi hoga :)","Just you said it, I will surely hear it all,  that must be good , smiles"
@Barn_sparrow samaj nahi aaya,@Barn_sparrow i did not get that
fact of the day, halloween night is papa john's second busiest night of the year behind super bowl sunday .
@Rishi_Muni Kolkata main kaam aise hi hota hai,@Rishi_Muni things only work this way in kolkata
# 4 baje ge aaaj party abhi baki.wow,# its 4 o'clock but the party is still on. wow
@QandeelQuebee ... Qandeel Baloch tum pareshan mat ho .. mat ho tum pareshan mei keh raha hune na tum shahid afridi ke leye pareshan mat ho ,)
@balliawalebaba haha.. Thanks bhai,@balliawalebaba laugh... thanks bro
@vivx galat smiley ho gaya,@vivx i sent a wrong smiley
"ye raeesi hai khandani, peele peele oh more jaani","this richness is hereditary , drink it my darling"
MITRON.. Taj Mahal se mera puraana naata hai.. Mein apne grahako ko sirf Taj Mahal chai pilaata tha..https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/800274552144019456 …,Friends..  I have some old relation withTaj Mahal .. I only serve Taj Mahal tea to my customers..https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/800274552144019456 …
@slimswamy Acha bhabhi ji ne baal color karwa liye ka?,@slimswamy did sister-in-law dyed her hair?
"haha darr lagta hai aajkal kuch bhi type karne se pehle, kaunse kone se outrage aayegi pata nahi. Banaate hai plan!","i'm scared before typing anything, even i don't which outrage will it cause. let's make plan!"
Are u a maal ? I mean girl ?,are a you a material ? i mean girl ?
@AshwinPaddy ye aapke writer ka reply tha.unhone accept kiya kiya hai aur kaha tha ki hata lenge pic.twitter.com/aaHctooqAS,@AshwinPaddy this is the reply from your writer. he accepted this and said that he will remove it picktvitrkcom/aःchtॊkas
Happy bday 'mera photo dikhao.. Nahi ye achcha nahi hai.. Delete..' @Vyangkaar bhai,happy birthday  'show me my picture .. it's not good .. delete ..' @Vyangkaar bhai
Omm Namah Shivay . Maha Dipa @ Lingaraj Temple #Bhubaneswar #MahaShivratri http://t.co/rKZ9ZhOs7G,Omm Namah Shivay. Holy bath @ Lingaraj Temple #bhubneswr #MahaShivratri Http://tiksio/rKZ9ZhOs7G
Kejriwal : hum us runout ki CBI jaanch karwaengey ! #IndvsPak #BleedBlue,Kejrivl: we will conduct cbi inquiry of that runout! #Indwsfk #bledblua
aaj to jitna hai .,we have to win today.
"@FaaduTweets American English bro, har roz kisi na kisi ko bolna padta hai @twinitisha","@FaaduTweets American English bro, everyday someone has to say it@tvinitis"
Modi ji aap aage bado hum tumhare shath he..,Modi you move ahead we are with you ..
"@me_meethi haan toh, aajkal aise hi achhe tweets karne se RT nahi milti. Zamaana badal gaya hai",@Men_meethi nowadays the good tweets like this don't get retweets. time has changed
"Waise bhi bhai tu ghar se parade ke liye nikalta..phir u-turn le leta..

RT @timesofindia: Why no invite for R-Day parade, Kejriwal wonders","Anyway when you would have left your home for parade, you would take u-turn  ..

Hrit @timesofaindia: Why no invite for R-Day parade, Kejriwal wonders"
ab mai wait kar raha hu ki wo chota sa farmer ( vadra ) kab sucide karega :/,now i am waiting for that farmer (vdra) to commit suicide: /
"Amit ""Shahji Haryana mein Suraksha ki taraf Dhyan dijiye. Rape ke case bahut badh gaye hain. Party ki image kharab ho rahi hai",Amit shah please look after security of Haryana. number of rape cases have been increasing a lot these days. The party's image is ruining.
@Insane_chorri seedhe andar aao raja ??,"@Insane_chorri king, get straight inside??"
"#RightToPrivacy ? Matlab ab aadhar mere mobile "" bank ac "" PAN se delink kar doon ?","#Hriigttofrivchy? means now i should link adhaar with my mobilem, bank account and pan card?"
@Ares_c3108 lag toh aise hi raha hai,@ Ares_c3l08 it does seems this way
@Alllahdin @retardedwriter @ruchikokcha @ttrinadasgupta dil cheez kya hai aap kabhi whiskey peejiye,"@Alllhdin @retrdedwriter @rucikocc @ttrinadasgupta what thing is heart, you should try drinking whiskey"
Zameer naam ki koi cheez toh hai hi nahin. Poora gandh inhone hi badhaya hua hai.,ther is nothing like conscience. they are the only one spreading dirt.
"aa delhi, khilata hu","you just visit delhi, i will treat you"
@adrashyababa chalta hai dost,@adrashyababa it's okay my friend
i still remember  .  .  . during sharjah matches .  .  .  . the scene was use to be the same :) sachin jab tak khel ra hai hilnaa mat,"i still remember  .  .  . during sharjah matches .  .  .  . the scene was use to be the same. till the time sachin is batting,  just lie there"
RT @mukeshk23791931 : @S1dharthM kapoor and sons achachi film hai .. ek baar or dekhunga,Hrit @ Mukeshk2379l93l: @ S1dharthM kapoor and sons is a good film .. will see it again
mast h yaar  .  .   .  .  i always wait for you next episode,its good my friend  .  .   .  .  i always wait for you next episode
"RT @MyLifeRCM : Abhi to trailer release huva hai , asli picture abhi baaki hai :) https://t.co/A0GBD5j907","Hrit @nyrlaifaehricn:The trailer has been released yet, the original picture is yet to be released Https://tiksio/a0grbd5j907"
@Alllahdin Ye Drishti aur Shrishti ke handles bata,@Alllahdin Tell me handles of drishti and shrishti
haan ek pe ek daaru bahot achhi cheez hai. Happy Hours!,yes one drink over other is a great thing. Happy Hours!
"@AskThePankazzzz ""Bhagwan ke bharose mat baithiye, kya pata bhagwan hamare bharose baitha ho."" Faith doesn't, Manjhi moves mountains.","@Asctefnksshshsh ""Don't depend on God and wait, what if god himself is waiting depending on you"" Faith Doesn't , Manjhi moves mountains."
bandh kab huwa tha?,did district was banned?
@FanSidharth Muje dekhne ke liye time nhi milta hai re . Kya karu bata biddu tu bata ? Office me kaam bhi hai bole to,"@FanSidharth i'm not getting enough time to watch. what should i do now, bro? Work in office, also said"
"@Lala_The_Don Na news aur na logic bas bana diya hai Khabaron ka Bazaar.

#FarziPatrakarRavishKumar","@Lal_the_Don No news, no logic, they just have made market of fake news.

#FarziPatrakarRavishKumar"
@KyaUkhaadLega arre 14th thi na ghar wapasi? Koi na call karta hu shaam mein baat karte hai,@KyaUkhaadLega you were going to return on 14th? No calls come talk evening
"@SonOfChoudhary chahiye शिक्षा और रोजगार।

 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar","@SonOfChoudhary we need education and employment.

 #Bdliyesrkrbdliyebhihr"
@Varun_dvn aur haath kaisa hai bhai. Jyada bhar mat uthana. Parineeti ke sath koi movie to nahi kar rahe na,@Varun_dvn how is your hand. don't put up much weight. you aren't making any with Parineeti?
@Babu_Bhaiyaa @ShivSharma400 Bhai party to banti hai ,)
@jiteshpillaai kasle shabd vaaparta tumhi. Deva.,@jiteshpillaai what does do you use. oh god.
the great noel gallagher is about to hit the stage in st .  paul .  plenty of room here so we're 4th row center .  plenty of room .  pretty fired up,the great noel gallagher is about to hit the stage in st .  paul .  plenty of room here so we're 4th row center .  plenty of room .  pretty fired up
@Lathiwalebaba Hahaha haan bhai,@Lathiwalebaba yes yes bro
Babaji @balliawalebaba ko janamdin ki subhkamanayee.. Khush raho.. Aabaad raho.. Dilli raho ya Farukkhabad raho,bb @balliawalebaba best wishes for your birthday .. Be happy .. live long .. live in delhi or live in farukkhabad
there can be delay in god's home but no ignorance,"God's house late, andher nahi"
Khushi ke maare phula na sama raha huhttps://twitter.com/ekThaDesigner/status/723370033255084032 …,i'm full wih happiness right now https: //tvitrkcom/actdesigner/stets/723370033255084032 ...
"""Kya kaha.. Tum achche din bhi banate ho.. 2 lakh ka order le lo.. par unpe Made In India likhna..""pic.twitter.com/aktAI92J7r","""What did you say .. you also make my day good.. Take Order of 2 lakh .. but just write made in india over it .."" Picktvitrkcom/aktai92j7r"
hahaha .  .  .  acting tere bass ki baat nhi !  !,Hhh. . . acting is not your cup of tea
hoti hai galati bhai. magar bawa bawa hai,"its okay to make mistakes, you are my dude"
Bhart ne toss jita h Match b jitengeee #IndvsPak @balliawalebaba,"India won the toss, and will the match too #indwsfk @blliavlebb"
guddu bhai vo jo 26 january ko laddu miltey they uska kuch banao kabhi .  .  . vo telwaley moti bundi ke laddu .  .  . taste ab tak nahi bhoolta :)),Guddu bro make some sweet like we use to have on 26 jan. . . those fried moti bundi laddu. . . haven't forgetten the taste yet
Jis thali me khaya usi me ched kiya #बॉयकाट_पाकिस्तान_वालेpic.twitter.com/atrPx647GC,making hole in the plate you ate # Boykat_pakistan_wale pic.twitter.com/atrPx647GC
yanha kaunsi train khali chalti hai .,which of the trains here goes vacant
"plz search google name of mukhtar abbas naqwi wife and his father in law name ,  sahnawaz husain wife also aankh khul jayegi .  .  . ","please search google name of mukhtar abbas naqwi wife and his father in law name ,  sahnawaz husain wife also my eyes opened .  .  . "
RT indiaforums : #MahaShivratri Celebration In Hum Hai Naa HumHainNaa_Sony SonyTV _kanwardhillon http://t.co/DYA66CbxtK,RT indiaforums: #MahaShivratri Celebration In we are here HumHainNaa_Sony SonyTV _kanwardhillon Http://tiksio/dyaa66crbkshtk
#RahulGandhi ji #namonitish ne corruption ke against jake dhoka diya ya aapne corruption ke sath rahkar janta ko 0 #BiharWithTejashwi,#RahulGandhi  did #namonitish betrayed by going against corruption or you betrayed people by going with corruption #BiharWithTejashwi
"@anubhashukla7 yes,  apna number aane wala hai :)","@ Anubhashukla7 yes, is your number coming"
@blithesoul_ abhi 5 option nahi hai na. Ab koi aur aayega Hardy Sandhu ko puchne ko,Not @blithesoul_ not just 5 options. now someone will come to ask Hardy sandhu
khade hone ki seat nahi .  . khade hone ki jagha mil jaaye .  . shabdawali sudhaaro .  .  .  .,Kdae not having the seat. . i wish i get a place to stand. . improve your vocabulary. . . .
"Jabse #gst aaya ""hai sabne restaurant mei khana shuru kr diya Kyu ""behn ghar pe dal roti bhi nahi pakti tujhse ?","Since the time when #gst implemented ""everyone started eating out in the restaurants"" sister can't you cook lentils and bread in your home?"
:'( itni khushiyan mujhe bahot saalon baad mili hai Piyus bhai. ILU :-*,i am this happy after lot of time Piyush Bro
"RT @RaghuveeSayyam : @ramniwasb83 @shuklapinku @invincible_vss @annijoseph77 _Namashkar Sir Ramniwas ji + All _Sir bahut Intezar ke baad "" Aa…",Hrit @hriaguvesyyam: @ Rmnivsb83 @shuklpidaku @invitrchible_wss @ Annijosef77 greetings Sir Ramniwas  + All _sr After much wait.
friday- to jack in the box then party at her house .  saturday- go to the park and live up the yolo life xd .  sunday- watch movies c:,friday- to jack in the box then party at her house .  saturday- go to the park and live up the yolo life .  sunday- watch movies
Jo log apni thwacha ' ke kaaran #holi nahi kahelte unhe koi bata do ki beauty sirf skin deep hi hoti hai .,"those who don't play #holi considering skin damage , tell them beauty isn't just a skin color"
Jitna dimag Modi haters GST k joke banane mei laga rahe hain isse kam mei to GST hi samajh aa jata. #GSTForNewIndia #GSTForCommonMan #GST,"the amount of brain Modi haters use in making jokes about GST, is sufficient to understand GST. #GSTForNewIndia #GSTForCommonMan #GST"
@ChickenBiryanii ab yahi chaar hai bhai,@ChickenBiryanii now these are the only four
@S1dRajput @SaakshiSRawat mere aansu to sookh gaye ab,@S1dRajput @SaakshiSRawat my tears have dried now
Bhaisaab @BUnlimted thand se nijaat paate huepic.twitter.com/RrbJMy80Hu,Bhaisaab @BUnlimted getting out of the cold pic.twitter.com/RrbJMy80Hu
"tum aage badho, hum tumhare saath hai","you go ahead, we are with you"
@twinitisha chhod majak kar raha tha :),"@twinitisha leave it, i was just joking"
@BeingReva matlab aap Bhopal se cross hue aur mile bhi nahi >.<,@BeingReva you just crossed bhopal and haven't met me
Maan gaye bhai @badechote,i acknowledged you @badechote
teri meri ek hi kahani bhai.,you and me share the same story bro
@PriyancaBajaj achcha idea diya.. Abhi phone karke bolta hu,@PriyancaBajaj that was a nice idea... will just call him and tell him now
i want tickets to the thursday game heat vs knicks (game 3) hmm .  .  .,i want tickets to the thursday game heat vs knicks (game 3) .  .  .
bt ladkyian wahan humesa hi fail krti hain us school main .  .  .,girls usually get failed in those schools .  .  .
@someUSER so u sat down with sophia grace and rosie to tea and it was awesome !  :d,"@someUSER so you sat down with sophia grace and rosie, to tea and it was awesome ! "
"@Ra_Bies Sab achhe hote hai. :-/
Serious nahi hote","@Ra_Bies Sab be good.
don't be serious"
ye pm jhoontha hai .  .  .  kisi angle se honrable nahin hai .  .  .,this pm is liar .  .  .  no way he is honorable .  .  .
"@amoghranadive @VivianDivine @NaezyTheBaA ek number bhai. 
Tere shooteron ka khaas mere gully mein","@amoghranadive @VivianDivine @NaezyTheBaA very cool bro. 
most special of your companions in my lane"
Bhai ye #GST ke bare m kisi ko kuch idea hai kya??,"does any one have idea, what #gst is?"
@Roflindian Hum dono hi Maalyamaal hai.,@Roflindian we both are rich.
"@YearOfRat haha, inke gaane by God by heart ho jaate hai. Woh bhi Gujarati wale","@YearOfRat by god, their songs just get memorized. and that even gujarati songs"
@balliawalebaba Meine to Amazon se le liya.. Address Rana Ayyub ka daal diya ,)
@ROFLaaLa @BeerOholic chalo plan karte hai,@ROFLaaLa @BeerOholic let's plan it
"@prajesh9465 dekho anushka g ke paas phone nahi hai, ek nayi dila do @LoKarDi_RT @bizzarebhide","@prajesh9465 see anushka didn't have phone, buy her one @LoKarDi_RT @bizzarebhide"
@MhaAgyaani ye sly @Madan_Chikna bhai k liye nahi tha,@MhaAgyaani this sorry wasn't for @Madan_Chikna bro
#police ke wireless #satelite #phone se mil rahi hai #gharbhar ki #gopniya jankaari .. #RightToPrivacy,#police 's wirelesss #satelite #phone is leaking secretive information #gharbhar #gopniya .. #RightToPrivacy
auzaar pe nishaan lagwaega kya?,would you put mark on your weapon?
@twinitisha bhoolega dil jis din tumhe..,@twinitisha the day when my heart will forget you..
"@Singhlicious :D
Woh bhi kya din the!","@Singhlicious :D
what beautiful those days were!"
@join2manish Reminds me of ' Rang de tu mohe gerua :-) ',@join2manish Reminds me of ' you color me orange'
Dis is how we noh sum ppl are illiterate here . D ignorant ones . Jinhe samajh kuch nahi aata bas bolna aata hai . ⬇️ https://t.co/34NhOdKDJc,this is how we know some people are illiterate here . the ignorant ones . those who didn't even understand and just blabber things . ⬇️ https://t.co/34NhOdKDJc
"Ek match to jeetne do firangiyon ko.
Insaniyat naam ki cheez nahi hai tum logon ke paas?
#INDvENG","let foreigners win at least a single match.
don't you have any values like humanity
#INDvENG"
RT @kchowdhury9 : #boycottraees ye movie ab nehi lana,RT @kchowdhury9 : #boycottraees don't put this movie ever
@YearOfRat shaadi ka laddoo sir.. Jo khaye wo bhi pachtaaye aur jo na khaye wo bhi,@YearOfRat sweet of marriage sir.. those who eat it will regret and those who haven't will also regret.
Dhoni ne toss jita or batting li .....,dhoni won the toss and opted to bat first .....
"Saabun ki shakal mein, beta tu to nikla kewal jhaag.https://twitter.com/ibnlive/status/707513527699767296 …","in the face of soap, son you just turned out ti be foam.https://twitter.com/ibnlive/status/707513527699767296 …"
@AndColorPockeT Aajkal to utne bhi nahi lagte..,@AndColorPockeT nowadays we don't even get these..
"Pakistani girl :- ""Mujhe ghar drop kar doge?"" 
Pakistani Cricketer :- ""Drop karna toh meri khaasiyat hai"" #AUSvPAK","Pakistani girl :- ""would you drop me?"" 
Pakistani Cricketer :- ""Droping is my only speciality"" #AUSvPAK"
"Mecca Medina ki story batao inhe koi, aagaye doosron par unglee uthaane.https://twitter.com/imDrMunaf/status/885708431927123968 …","someone please rercite the story of mecca medina for them, they are coming to blame us .https://twitter.com/imDrMunaf/status/885708431927123968 …"
Sirf Sushma Swaraj kaam kar rahi hai. #Respect,only Sushma Swaraj is working. #Respect
@drpratikjain Joke nahi samjhay? Human ho kya? @Ra_Bies,@drpratikjain didn't you get the joke? are you human? @Ra_Bies
Rahane me meri Test wali tweet padh li.. LOL senti ho gaya.. Achcha hai ,)
@ishquirrel_ fatte doodh ko kapde se chaan lo .. Phir jo bachega wo paneer hai,@ishquirrel_ fatte filter milk using cloth .. the residue would be paneer
@jdshastri26 hahaha uske baad to kuchh bachta hi nahi hai.,@jdshastri26 there is nothing left after this.
"after 9pm , we have another party to attend buddy .. ;)","after 9pm , we have another party to attend buddy .."
"Haan bhai Sarita, itne possessive kyu horahe ho Sarita ko lekar?","Yes bro sarita, why are being so possesive for sarita?"
.@JhaSanjay bhai aaj ke din bhi gaali sunega ?,.@JhaSanjay would you like to hear some abusive words even today ?
"@kitAnurag Haha, tere liye toh almost everyday ki baat hogi. Mere saath kabhi kabhi hota hai.",@kitAnurag it might been the regular thing for you. I face it rarely.
RT @LFC Acche Din Aanewale Hain,RT @LFC good days are coming
@TheSepticHermit nautannki bandh karo! :-*,@TheSepticHermit shut the drama.
Yahan 100 Vada Paav khaane ke vaande hai. :(,we are facing trouble in eating 100 vada pavs
Bhai jaan . aa bhi jao ..,brother . come on ..
"Ayurvedic jadibootiyon se bana sampoorna swadeshi, Vicco Vajradanti","Whole indigenous made of Ayurvedic herbs, Vicko Vajradanti"
mujhe aaj v yaad hai wo din jis din mene pora contra parr kar diya tha .  .  :d,"even today i remember those day, when i finished playing contra"
Salman..bhai ..aap dekh rahe ho kya kitne fans aapki wait kar rahe hai..just Hello to kehdo Sabko,Salman..bro ..are you looking the number of fans waiting for you..at least say hello to everyone
RT @BeingSalmanKhan : RAEESSSSSSS ah raha hai . Filhaal teaser dekho aur enjoy karo behaad,RT @BeingSalmanKhan : RAEESSSSSSS is coming . for now just watch and enjoy the teaser
@Prachi_licious ugachh kaahi pan?,@Prachi_licious any thing?
"""Daaru pee ke gaadi mat chalana new year pe..""pic.twitter.com/HdZnEcnZn5","""don;t drink and drive on new year day..""pic.twitter.com/HdZnEcnZn5"
hey mere bhaggu .  .  yeh to pol khul gayii aaj,hey my bhaggu .  .  we just revealed our secret
contra mein double player khelte waqt jab kisi ki chaal khatm ho jati thi toh c ka button dabakr saath wale ki chaal utarne ka maza hi kuchh aur hua karta tha .  .  .  .,"when playing a double player in the Contra, when someone's move was over, it was fun to press the button of the partner, and it was fun to get someone's move. .  .  .  ."
"Burnol pe #gst kam kar lo ""bhai bahut need hai. .. #RightToPrivacy #Aadhar",decrease #gst on burnol.... people need it #RightToPrivacy #Aadhar
lake nhi hai.. aur ye kejriwal nhi chaiye,its not lake .. we don't want this kejriwal
exactly :( ye to kuch b nhi hai .  .  koi 31st dec n 1st jan ko exam dene ka dukh kya samjhega :( bt the phase is gone nw :) :d,"exactly, this is nothing.  .  no one will understand pain of writing exams on 31 dec and 1 jan, but i am ahead of that phase now"
"He: Bol na aunty aau kya?

Hot Headed Aunty: Darti hu kya tere se? Jaa apne baap ko bhi saath le aa","He: aunty should i come?

Hot Headed Aunty: do i fear you? go and bring your father with you"
"@Prankoholic tum na baat hi na karo mujhse, wohi achha hai.","@Prankoholic you just don't talk to me, that would be better"
@Tweepshikha all well bas katt rahi hai,@Tweepshikha everything is going fine
@tweeting_pal Isiliye aajkal koi kuch bhi bol ke chala jata hai.. Lagta hai purane bolshu ko phir se laana padega..,@tweeting_pal nowadays anyone comes and speak anything.. seems like i have to bring back old bolshu..
Tere saath kisne kiye yeh? Bata. Tag kar tu usko,who did this with you? . you just tag him
#JNU key baad doosrey universities bhi #ArmyTanks install karney ki demand karney lagey hain ... Sochna padega key ham kis dour mei agaye hai !,after #JNU other universities has been demanding to install #ArmyTanks  ... this left me to think in what generation we have arrived !
@MeetUunngLee Abe 2 khareedna.. Ek tere bhai ke liye bhi ,)
"Are bhaiya thoda bilaspur shehar pe bhi dhayan do. Dust capital bana rakha hai. na ""sadke na ""suraksha na drainage system","Brother, sometimes at least look after bilaspur city. it's been made as dust city. neither drainge system nor proper roads"
"""Us length se 3 baal andar aur 3 bahar nikal dein toh batsman pagal hi ho jayega"" ~ Shoaib Akhtar ka alag hi entertainment chalta hai","""from that length if you bring  3 balls and 3 out, batsmen will get mad for sure"" ~ Shoaib Akhtar has different for of enternainment"
Yeh arms mujhay dede Thakur...pic.twitter.com/3YROcBR2N1,give me those arms thakur...pic.twitter.com/3YROcBR2N1
"Finally bank ki line se free ho kar apne Mahesh babu @Fussy_Ca wapas aa gaye hai

Itna swagat kare ","Finally after freeing from the bank queue mahesh babu @Fussy_Ca has returned

welcome him"
@Alllahdin @retardedwriter Aaj se cigarette bandh?,@Alllahdin @retardedwriter will give up cigarette from today?
".@roykajal positivity achhi hai, magar usse kisi ka peth nahi bharta",".@roykajal positivity is good, but that dosen't make your belly full"
@DefucktiveHumor bachche ko beech me mat lao yaar @Atheist_Krishna @Ra_Bies,@DefucktiveHumor don't bring kid into this @Atheist_Krishna @Ra_Bies
"#MannKiBaat me pm bakwaas karte rehte hain aur pura din barbaad kar dete hain "" #aap ki press conference beech me hi kaat dete ho kyun ?","PM talks rubbish in #MannKiBaat  and waste the entire day"" whereas #aap you cut half the duration of your press conference, why ?"
@LagharVaghar achar banane ke liye,@LagharVaghar for making pickle
we are born actors ,)
@_SandSurfer kaisi galatfaimi me jee raha hai,@_SandSurfer in what misunderstanding you are living in
@iamGunjanGrunge Krishna ko add hi nahi kaunga waha,@iamGunjanGrunge i will not add krishna there
@IamVibhor_ aur kya kya lena padta hai,@IamVibhor_ and what else to bring
@clued_up_chic daru kabhi dhoka nahi deti,@clued_up_chic whiskey doesn't betray ever
"Tum #History ko tod marodne ki koshish ""karoge 1000 @TrueIndology facts leke aajayenge.","You will try to distort #history, we will bring 1000 @TrueIndology facts ."
@HasnaZarooriHai abh call girl ko isi accha kya milega ..,@HasnaZarooriHai now what better could call girls even get
lol admin atention seeker h jante bujhte post dala ki coment mile >_<,"laughing, admin is attention seeker, he deliberating posted things to get comments"
Marne par bhi Aadhar link karwana ehe sir .. #RightToPrivacy,"link adhaar card even after dying, sir .. #RightToPrivacy"
azaadi bhot milgyi ab guddu shaadi kerle .  acting ka kida nikaal apne dil se aur bahar fek de .  :/,"you got much freedom guddu, its time to marry .  remove the insect of acting from your heart."
"jain book depot ,  ek khadus uncle baitha hota hai jo kabhi paise kam nahi karta .  :p","jain book depot ,  there will be a rude uncle, who would never reduce the prices."
@Oinkoo Pakka bol tu fisloo praani hai,@Oinkoo are you a slippy creature?
"Salesman: ""Ye lo.. Kar lo baat.. Ye Madam ji bol rahi hai mujhe Pink color ki Green Tea #AurDikhao""pic.twitter.com/XLuSrxpRa4","Salesman: ""Take this .. Talk it .. Madam ji is telling me pink color green tea #AurDikhao"" pic.twitter.com/XLuSrxpRa4"
Abe koi to accha phone launch karo bkl.,atleast someone launch a good phone
good luck to scouser &amp, soon to be klitschko destroyer @someUSER tonight in the echo against @someUSER - '12th career ko tonight'
tu ladka nahi.. heera hai heera,you are not son... you are diamond
@YearOfRat Yaar. 13 ke pehle bhi RT nahi milti aaj kal.,@YearOfRat bro. these days we don't get RT before 13
@Prachi_licious dosti pyar ka pehla kadam hoti hai,@Prachi_licious friendship is the first step of love
pratiyogita drapan .  .  guddu ias banega ise padke .  .,pratiyogita drapan .  .  guddu will become ias after reading it .  .
.@retardedwriter satya vachhan,.@retardedwriter true statement
"@narendramodi Tera hardwork dekh kar Harvard wale bhi sharma gaye kis ulloo ne kaha tha #notebandi karne ko "" RBI ki saakh mitti mein mila di","@narendramodi Seeing your hardwork, even the Harvard owls were blushing, which owl said to make #notebandi "" you dissolved rbi's pride in mud"
@someUSER @someUSER and @someUSER all on the jonathan ross show tonight = terrif sat night in !  well done @someUSER #toofunny,"@someUSER @someUSER and @someUSER all on the jonathan ross show tonight , terrifying sat night in !  well done @someUSER #toofunny"
Dubai me bday mana rahi ho .. aur kya chahiye,celebrating birthday in dubai... what more you want
@narendramodi kadi ninda se kuch nhi hoga sahaj sikhana hoga unhe revenge has to be taken against terrorist #SurgicalStrike again .,"@narendramodi Strong condemnation will do nothing, they need to learn a lesson, revenge has to be taken against terrorist #SurgicalStrike again ."
"G1: Kinni achhi lipstick hai yaar, kaun so hai?
G2: Laal hai
G1: Kaunsi 'braand' ya?
G1: Sarojnee
#DelhiGirlsBeLike","G1: you lipstick is so good, which one is it?
G2: It's red
G1: which brand is it?
G1: Sarojnee
#DelhiGirlsBeLike"
".@2witsofwisdom Main to ready hoon ji, yeh log bhaag rahe hain @sardesairajdeep @VishalDadlani",".@2witsofwisdom i am ready, these people are running @sardesairajdeep @VishalDadlani"
What the hell!! Roz ka din rape ki news se start ho raha hai. Insan nahi saale bhediye bhare pade hai maar daalo saalo ko.. jahan dikhe thok do koi case vase chalane ki zarurat nahi,"What the hell!! the days news start with rape alert. there are no humans in city, all are wolves .. wherever you see them, just shoot them without filling any case"
bhai Mujhe Apna twitter account password de doo pls :p :p :p :p :p :p,bro give me your twiiter account password please
"HAARNA NAHI HAI PANDYA!
#INDvENGpic.twitter.com/ClApEtQS7T","you should not lose pandya!
#INDvENGpic.twitter.com/ClApEtQS7T"
Aaj tak par news sache hai plss reply ......Ansar,news on aaj tak are real please reply ......Ansar
Maybe just trying to be friend ..... Could be of great help would do your assignments for free ,)
Bhai sab theek? Pyar hamein bhi hai tujhse,bro everything alright? we love you too
"Ja kar Naam puch lo , itna sharmate kyo ho . She will like it .","just go and ask her , why are you being so shy. She will like it ."
@radhesen @mandar2404 @maddyisms @snpunjabi @kaunmann @vivekgirotra @GeoPhunk  May La Dilon Ka Aata Hai,@radhesen @mandar2404 @maddyisms @snpunjabi @kaunmann @vivekgirotra @GeoPhunk  fair of hearts come
"Mall ma ladkiya aur daaru ke theke pe ladke same cheez sochte hai..

Ye bhi le lu.. Wo bhi le lu..","In the mall, boys think the same thing seeing girls and drinks bar
I should take this.. and this too.."
"@someUSER absolutely nothing will ,  they will be best friends forever :') when they won the nta award for the 10th year that has to be .  .  .  . ","@someUSER absolutely nothing will ,  they will be best friends forever  when they won the nta award for the 10th year that has to be .  .  .  . "
"beta guddu if Laila see it, it will be disgracefu","s onguddu if Laila see it, it will be disgraceful"
Respected sir aap aaj pure Bharat ki ummid ho ...ek naya savera aapne hi janta ko dikhaya he...ap dhup bhi nikaliye...,Respected sir today you are hope of all nation ...you have shown a new dawn to the people...now let the sunshine appear...
"future like ""Mera Tattoo bada hokar IIT jaega"" ?? https://twitter.com/Monique_essence/status/620963301019652096 …","future like ""my tatto will grow and go to iit"" ?? https://twitter.com/Monique_essence/status/620963301019652096 …"
@SritikaDhar Aisa kya hogaya?,@SritikaDhar what happened to you?
Stardust awards kachra hai.,Stardust awards are garbage .
reality - power point me slide show start karne ke liye f5 press karo .,reality - to start slide show in power point press f5.
@AwaraRish ek vote kar Hi do,@AwaraRish give a vote atleast
@ek_samosa_dena aa bail mujhe maar,@ek_samosa_dena you bull hit me
bhai wo bidi nahi peeti.. gutkha khati hai Khaini ke saath @angryoungwoman,bro she doesn't smoke cigarettes.. she Gutkha eats with khaini @angryoungwoman
"@Sychlops puchta bhi hai aur aise bhi bolta hai, stupid part 2?","@Sychlops you are asking and saying these things, stupid part 2?"
"@janimynk @Maddy_Saheb @bhakht @MODIsWarrior 2 ghante se Google kar raha hun . reat great l b shastri ji , gandhi was a self proclaimed "" mahat","@janimynk @Maddy_Saheb @bhakht @MODIsWarrior googling since 2 hours. great l b shashtri, gandhi were self proclaimed great"
Karachi : Korangi Crossing Se 2 Afrad Ki Lashain Baramad Donu Afrad Ko Firing Kr K Qatal Kiya Gaya Police #KARACHI #NEWS #UPDATE ( 11AM ),"Karachi : Two Afraad's corpses recovered from Korangi crossing, both Afraad were killed in firing Police #KARACHI #NEWS #UPDATE ( 11AM )"
ye unwanted log har match me jaroor tapkte h !  !  !  !  !  !  !  !,these unwanted people always comes to spectate matches
"@MeetUunngLee LOL! Bola tha, chal daaru toh waise bhi pilaunga Hi tujhe darling ","@MeetUunngLee  i said, lets go, anyway i'm going to buy a whiskey for you darling"
@LoKarDi_RT mute nahi kiya ab tak,@LoKarDi_RT haven't mute it till now
@rajnishtrip woh to Rahul Baba sevan kar gaye @kinjealous @Atheist_Krishna,@rajnishtrip rahul baba has gone to eat @kinjealous @Atheist_Krishna
"*Mummy ko mere bag se gutkha mila*
Mom- Beta mat khaya karo

*Mummy ko bag se Maggi mili*
Mom- Chappal kaha hai meri.. Bohot bigad gaya hai","*Mummy found out tobacco from my bag*
Mom- son please don't eat it

*Mummy found out Maggi from my bag*
Mom- i will hit you with my slippers.. you have ruined yourself"
@Sand_In_Deed logo ko samaj hi nahi aaya..,@Sand_In_Deed people haven't understood
#GST #Petrol prices common janta ke jaan ley rahi or kitna lootna bake hai ? Hadd hai yar..... isse better to Congress thi aisa lag raha hai,"#GST #Petrol prices are taking lives of common people, how much more you will loot from us ? its has crossed the limit..... congress government was a lot better than this"
@sailorsmoon Poore India wale lage pade hai.. yaayyy,@sailorsmoon all indians are working for it..
@LoKarDi_RT bhaagne ki taiyaari kar lo,@LoKarDi_RT be prepared to run
@indiantweeter jyada angrej ban raha hai kya. Gusalkhana likhne me sharm aati hai !!,@indiantweeter are you being foreigner. are you ahamed of writing bathroom
@LoKarDi_RT Kabhi haan kabhi naa,@LoKarDi_RT sometimes yes sometimes no
"@MeThePooh nitish or amrit dono ke khilaaf EC shud take action
#NitishKaAgentPratyayaAmrit","@MeThePooh ec should take action against both nitish and amrit
#NitishKaAgentPratyayaAmrit"
guddu ka bag hai ya parachute ?,it's guddu's bag or parachute?
@tweeting_pal cheetah bhi peeta hai !!,@tweeting_pal cheetah also drinks !
mere baare mein toh tumne ye kabhi nahi bola... @bhaiyyajispeaks,you haven't said this to me ever... @bhaiyyajispeaks
Amazing .. #virat #dhoni ko fail kar diya aaj #harmanpreet ki is #WomensWorldCup 2017 k #Semifinal ki shandar pari ne .. hatsoff 0 #AUSvIND,Amazing .. today #harmanpreet failed  #virat #dhoni for her amazing performance in  #Semifinal of #WomensWorldCup 2017 .. hatsoff 0 #AUSvIND
Bhai @ek_samosa_dena & @Dishasatra tumlog dikh gaye audience mein! Aaj ki raat hai zindagi!,bro @ek_samosa_dena & @Dishasatra seen you in the audience! today's night is life!
mere pakistani bhaiyo .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . apne sare patakhe hume hi bhej do kyunki jis terah tumhari team khel rahi hai us tereh to tum log koi patakhe na jla paoge,"my pakistani brothers .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . you sell us all your crackers, because the way your team is playing you won't be able to light the crackers"
"Haha, perfect. Main bhi yahin hu :D
Phone karta hu, Saturday shaam ka koi machan kar lete hai. What say?","perfect. i'm here too
i'm calling, lets have fun on saturday night. What say?"
shukriya @dpd111 @gautamrajrishi @swapnilktiwari @mishrashiv,thanks @dpd111 @gautamrajrishi @swapnilktiwari @mishrashiv
""" Happy birthday "" * lal krishna advanji sir *-",""" Happy birthday "" * lal krishna advani sir *-"
"She called her roomie after reaching her place, saying Urvi yaar 150 udhaar de de plz. Haan kutti pehle ke 600 aur ye dungi, abhi neeche aa","She called her roomie after reaching her place, saying Urvi you please return my 150 that i lent you. i will give this amount and the 600 from earlier, now come down"
@krazyfrog society ke saamne paan wala hai uska tak yahi hairstyle hai.pic.twitter.com/TFOGhCt4DW,Even the paan seller in sitting in front of @krazyfrog society has hairstyle pic.twitter.com/TFOGhCt4DW
@SatanKiNani gharneda hota tumcha joke,@SatanKiNani your joke was bad
"Hamara neta kaisa ho.. Chota Bheem jaisa ho !!

RT @HasibaAmin 'Naarebaazi' at Shri. Rahul Gandhi's road show! :)pic.twitter.com/EU48h7sE9t","what should be our leader like . he should be like Chota Bheem

RT @HasibaAmin 'Naarebaazi' at Shri. Rahul Gandhi's road show! :)pic.twitter.com/EU48h7sE9t"
Happy Mahashivratri . Om Namah Sivaay :),Happy Mahashivratri . Om Namah Shivaay
"First, Kejriwal ne dharna de kar rayte ka samaan jama kiya
Second, Sarkaar bana kar, Rayta banaya
Third, Kumar Vishwas ne #RaitaFailaDiya","First, Kejriwal called for a srtrike to collect items for rayta
Second, he made government to cook rayta
Third, Kumar Vishwas  spread it over #RaitaFailaDiya"
Happy bday @YesIamSaffron frnd.. Bhagwaan kare aapke paas Sonia Gandhi jitna paisa aur Digvijay Singh jitni biwiya mile,Happy bday @YesIamSaffron friend.. GOd wish you have wealth like sonia gandhi and relationsips like digvijaya singh
@Connoisier hume bhi milwao kabhi usse,@Connoisier let us also meet them
"Sir, mujhe aashirwad do main tumhare nek feminists raahon par chalna chahta hu, agenda uncha rahe hamara.","sir, bless me, I want to walk in the path of your noble Feminists, our agenda is high.
"
@praktabh bahut badiya ... gali dene me PHD kie ho,@praktabh very good.. you did phd in saying abusive words
shhh.. Pata nahi hai kisi ko ,)
"bhai pagalpan hai woh, emo kar deta hai","bro he is mad, he makes me emotional"
@HaramiParindey Bhai tu mahan hai,@HaramiParindey bro you are great
"Ye tir kahi #Ravan ko miss kar ke kisi #aamadmi ko naa lag jaye "" samhhal ke mariyega sir. #Notebandi and #Gst ki tarah misfire na ho jaye.","these arrows might miss #ravana and hit #aamadmi "" hit it carefully. don't misfire it like #Notebandi and #Gst "
"i'm sharing my candy with lyric ,  alena ,  dejanae and marquell tomorrow =)","i'm sharing my candy with lyric ,  alena ,  dejanae and marquell tomorrow"
"#Dhoni sir aap kuch waqt or le sakte the "" koi apne fans ko is tarah chhod ke jata h kya ""","#Dhoni sir you can take some more time ""does any one leaves his/her fans like this """
@coolfunnytshirt Yahan par sabhi fakr hai.,@coolfunnytshirt everyone is proud here
"Shortest short story in gujarati literature .... just in two lines ... called "" # "" "" ... ... http://t.co/3VllKgNaPn","Shortest short story in gujarati literature .... just in two lines ... called "" #  "" ... ... http://t.co/3VllKgNaPn"
RT @AfsanaMeet : @Gurmeetramrahim #PiousBhandara wow nanu papa,RT @AfsanaMeet : @Gurmeetramrahim #PiousBhandara wow nanu and papa
:D' lagane se jalan kam nahi hoti. Use burnolhttps://twitter.com/Shehla_Rashid/status/882827588334432257 …,applying it will relax your jealousy. Use burnol https://twitter.com/Shehla_Rashid/status/882827588334432257 …
Pehle Seeta mata ko le gaye aur ab match. Kaise begairath padosi hain yaar!,First they took away seeta and now match. how cheap neighbours we have
@masala_chaas arey yaha to zyada salary wale bhi jalte hai,@masala_chaas here the people with more salary also heats up
@jairajsonicivil 10 saal satta me reh kar bijli bhi nahi di gyi isse #FailedCMNitish,@jairajsonicivil even after 10 years of government he haven't given electricity #FailedCMNitish
@zoowaker aaj hi kaate :(,@zoowaker they cut it today
@Ra_Bies Jab Panga liya to darna kya. Panga liya koi chori nahi ki.. Chup chup sly karna kya.. Jab Panga liya to darna kya.,@Ra_Bies What to fear when we took up the challenge. we accepted the challenge not a stealing job.. silence and sly.. What to fear when we took up the challenge
@journojuno zye oonth pahaad se bhi lamba hai LOL!,@journojuno camel is taller than mountain
"Kashmir bhi hamara, match bhi hamara. #INDvPAK","kashmir belongs to us, and now match too. #INDvPAK"
yeh salman khan ki purani aadat hai.... late aana :p,this is bad habit of salmaan khan.... he comes late
@Atheist_Krishna mujhe yaad karna bhai ,)
Chhodo bekaar ki baaton mein ....,leave all the rubbish talks
staff room me sirf un ladkiyon ko entry milti thi jo madam ki full chamchi hoti thi :@,staff rooms only allows the girls who are full sycophant of madam :@
"kejri sullo ka chamcha hai ,  jago hindu jago","kejri is sycophant of sullo ,  wake up hindus wake up"
abhi trailor kuchh mahine pahle dekha tha ?  .  .  .  .,seen the trailer few months back ?  .  .  .  .
Bahot hi achhe dinhttps://twitter.com/htTweets/status/599197476613062657 …,very very good days https://twitter.com/htTweets/status/599197476613062657 …
Aaj Australians se zyada sledging to @Nomadic_Soul_ kar rahi hai.. Hahaha keep it up,today @Nomadic_Soul_ is sledging more than australians. keep it up
@buklolchi @bhak_sala chalu hai,@buklolchi @bhak_sala he is cunning
yeh hota tha ghar pe jab english mein kamm number aate the .  .,this use to happen when i get low grades in english
"#WorstChildhoodRumors 
Beta soja ..Soja nahi to Gabbar Singh aa jaayega.","#WorstChildhoodRumors 
sleep son ..otherwise gabbar will come"
.@Paid_Journalist saawan ke andhe ko har taraf hariyali nazar aati hai bhai,.@Paid_Journalist  blind of spring can see greenery everywhere around
denzel washington &amp, brian geraghty gear up for one heck of a ride in this exclusive clip from flight !  see it tomorrow .  http/URL
@AviralKapoor_ Job ke saath sab kuch free milta hai @UnSubtleDesi,@AviralKapoor_ everything gets at free with the job @UnSubtleDesi
Brilliant Answer By Boy Friend on Break Up … . Girl , Tumhe Mere Jaisi Ladki Nahi Milegi . . . . . Boy 
"AZAAD DESH KE NAAGRIKON TUMHARA ARTIFICIAL PATRIOTISM JATAANE KA WAQT AAGAYA HAI.
JAI HIND!","citizens of free country, time has come to express your artificila patriotism.
JAI HIND!"
".@imVkohli @henrygayle Get ready to get *Gayle ke to beti bhi ho gayi"" aur tune abhi tak shaadi bhi nahi ki.",".@imVkohli @henrygayle Get ready to get *Gayle has got a daughter"" and you haven't even married yet"
44 walo ke bure din chalu hai.. Sonia ji sambhal jaaye.. Ab bhi time haihttps://twitter.com/aajtak/status/631702828793200641 …,44 has a bad time.. sonia be careful.. even now you have time https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/631702828793200641 …
@lack_a_daisy Bye ? Abhi to party shuru huee hai,@lack_a_daisy Bye ? now the party has started
Kya tumne kabhi kisise pyar kiya? Aur usne tumhe dhoka diya?https://twitter.com/chintskap/status/596379389304012800 …,have you ever been in love with someone? and he/she betrayed you?https://twitter.com/chintskap/status/596379389304012800 …
"World Cup chahe khatam hogayi ho, daaru abhi baaki hai mere dost.","World Cup might have ended, but we still have alcohol left my friend"
@retardedwriter Mujhe aana tha Kanpur :'(,@retardedwriter i wish to come to kanpur
@engg89 Shukriya Sir!,@engg89 Thank you sir
"Beedi peeke nukkad pe weight tera kiya re.

Kyunki cigarette ab Rs.15 ki hogayi hai, aur tumhara wazan 100 kilo.","smoking cigarette i was waiting for at pathway

since cigarette is now rs.15 and you weight is 100 kg"
Ye sab Modiji ki chaal hai ji - Kejru,this is all conspiracy of modi - Kejru
#229 : #AcademicOfficeFail I appeared for ES 200 endsem exam twice in the semester and got a FR in HS 200 :-/ #Aero,#229 : #AcademicOfficeFail I appeared for ES 200 endsem exam twice in the semester and got a FR in HS 200 #Aero
"Ek ladki thi deewani si, 
Ek ladke pe woh marti thi,
Nazre jhukake, sharma ke
Paise kharch karaya karti thi
#RealLoveStories #HBDSRK","One girl was crazy,
She used to die on a boy,
Bowed down, 
Used to spend sharma's money

#RealLoveStories #HBDSRK"
@SHPA4016 @titli29 @SrBachchan Main koi jhoot boleya .. koi naa bai koi na bai koi na .. oye balle balle balle balle .. haha .. I rest my case ,)
@UniqueIdiot_ CHOLI KE PEECHE KYA HAI ?,@UniqueIdiot_ what is behind the bodice ?
.@OfficeOfRG Denims ki sarkaar ?? LOL,.@OfficeOfRG government of denims?
ok ab mai ja rhi hu byee....jhuth bolw kauwa kaatw kaale kauwe sw aap dariyo salmaan sir,"ok i'm going bye.... if you lie then black crow will bite you, don't be scared of balck crow salmaan khan"
@SmokeD_Ring_ yaad nahi aa raha,@SmokeD_Ring_ yaad not coming
bachpan yaad aagaya .  .  maaza aa gaya .  .  thax guddu .  .  .,childhood will remember .  .  we had fun .  .  thanks guddu .  .  .
@ek_samosa_dena @friendlii_ghost ab tak bambai ke 5 bar mein hum par ban lagaya hua hai,@ek_samosa_dena @friendlii_ghost till now over 5 bars has banned me from entering
aaj Duggal sahab school boy hainhttps://twitter.com/BDUTT/status/847335290175758337 …,today Duggal sir school boy hainhttps://twitter.com/BDUTT/status/847335290175758337 …
"#RahulGandhi in Kushinagar Kisaan insecticide ki bottle dekh sochta hai main isko pee jaaun "" atmahatya karlun "" kisaan ki awaaz Modiji tak nhi ja rahi hai : #RahulGandhi","#RahulGandhi in Kushinagar, seeing Insecticides' bottle farmer wishes to drink it "" and commit suicide"" farmer's voice is not reaching Modi : #RahulGandhi"
and the sticker showed games different from what was inside the casette .  :d,and the sticker showed games different from what was inside the casette .
hi sallu bro....,Hello Sallu bro
kyonki game abhi baaki hai .  .,because the game is still left
"RT @armaankohli : Om namoh shiva , Babaji sab Ke sath mere sath thoda zayada :-) wishing all BAM BHOLE NATH :-) mahashivratri ke badhaiya : -","salutations to lord shiva! dear priest, help everyone but help me more! happy mahashivaratri!"
beautiful sunrise at the washington monument taken by @someUSER - http/URL,beatiful sunrise at the washington monument taken by @someUSER-httpl/URL
sir ka dard theek ho gaya.. dil ki bhad gaya,"my head is fine now, but my heart has started to ache."
"Yaar, iss desh mein tu Akhilesh Yadav ka spoof ban ja zyada traction milega. Fokat ki gaaliya na dega ladkiyon ko.@Vellawanti","man, in this country you would get more attracation if you make a spoof of akhilesh yadav. don't abuse woman unnecesarily"
entertainment hamesha entertainment tak rahy go theek rahy ga .. movie k bahnai nafrat bantne sy fyda nae hoga @kabirkhankk #banphantom,if entertainment remains entertainment it's fine.there's no use spreading hatred through movies @kabirkhankk#banphantom
"Main hu na hot, sach bata",aren't i hot? tell me the truth!
@PoojaMissra  TV par news channels dekhna ab ho gaya hai bekaar.. thanks to presstitutes like #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,@PoojaMissra watching news channels on tv has now become boring thanks to biased journalists like #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar
@Vipul_tweets_ dekhne ki himmat nahi hui ab tak,@Vipul_tweets_ haven't got the courage to see it yet
"Sir @ArvindKejriwal ppl here in Bhopal r talkin about ur full page ads saying ""miyan kasam udaan jhalle ki ye kaisi naashpiti harkat hegi""","sir @ArvindKejriwal people here in bhopal are talkin about your full page ads which say ""how can burning kites create such a horrible situation?"""
listen in hour 2 for an expansive interview with poet frank x .  walker who present his works at murray state on november 1 .  #soundsgood,"listen in 2 hours for an expansive interview with poet frank x .walker ,who will present his works at murray state on november 1 .  #soundsgood"
bhai itna time kyun lete ho cartoon post karne mein .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . please jaldi kiya karo,"brother, why do you take so much time to post the cartoon ? please do it fast."
@dhaval241086 Kisi ne sadak pe chalte pehchaan liya. To bahut pelenge mujhe,"@dhaval241086 if someone recognizes me on the road , they'll beat me to shreds."
@LoKarDi_RT @TweetErrant @NDTVGadgets spam kar ke rakha hai TL inhone,@LoKarDi_RT @TweetErrant @NDTVGadgets he has spammed everything
@hinnaz chittiya kalaiya ve,@hinnaz chittiya i have white wrists
"Apna case ladne ke liye mujhe Delhi ki janta ka 4 crore use karna pada, kya yahi hain achhe din: @ArvindKejriwal",to fight my case i had to borrow 4 crores from the common public of delhi! is this your definition of good days? @ArvindKejriwal
"Saayad mera barwadi ka khayal Mann mai aaya hai "" isiliye #Trump ne mujhe #WashingtonDC bulaya hai !","he probably thought i was going to be a waste ,that's why #Trump has called me to #WashingtonDC !"
modi sir app pahale OBC president ho. OBC ke liye kuch karo. bad me koi kuch nahi karega,"modi sir, you are the first obc president. do something for the obcs. no one will do anything later."
"@DesireMaze Itna attachment aapko beemaar…bahut beemaar, karne ke liye.. kafi hai",@DesireMaze this much attachment is enough to make you extremely sick
"not to be overlooked by sandy ,  a summery mid-upper 70s with sunshine today in cny .  record high of 79 set in buffalo .  more warmth friday !","not to be overlooked by sandy ,  a summery mid-upper 70s with sunshine today in cnn.  a record high of 79 degress farhenheit set in buffalo .  more warmth is expected on friday !"
Aaj sab ko SunTan praapti hogi.,today everyone will experience suntan
@KaliKaEkka pehle modi ji se kyu seekha,"@KaliKaEkka firstly, why did you learn from modi?"
Won the match !! Gambhir u r a devil !! #KorboLorboJeetbo #IPLT20 #KKRvDD #SRK,Won the match ! Gambhir you are a devil ! #KorboLorboJeetbo #IPLT20 #KKRvDD #SRK
@srkiany_blood sirf dhoni akele spin ko accha khelta hai . india mai .. baki suicide kr lete hain .. @iam_prs,@srkiany_blood only dhoni plays spin well. everyone else commits suicide. @iam_prs
bhai ye kachua sir galat kyo likh rahe hai a2+b2=c2,"brother, why is this tortoise-like sir writing it wrong? a2+b2=c2"
we daily go staff room to check that how many teachers are absent today  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?,we daily go to the staff room to check that how many teachers are absent .
"Ye horaha hai desh mein, saala hum mard hi kyu bardaasht kare sab? Feminists saheliyan kahan hai?https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/852255626411507712 …",this is what is happening in the country. why do people ruin the reputation of men alone? where are you feminists now? https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/852255626411507712 …
"@KyaUkhaadLega kasam english maiyya ki, postively liya hai","@KyaUkhaadLega mother promise, i have taken english positively"
@PriyancaBajaj  Desh badalna hai to karna padega ye shuruaat #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar,@PriyancaBajaj  if you want to change the country you'd have to start now. #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar
"\  ""  i just want to be away from all of this  .  far away  .  \  ""  call nasa  .",  i just want to be away from all of this  .  far away  .   call nasa  .
"YE ISHQ KI AAG HOGI NA KAM TUM AUR HUM EK ATOM BOMB, FIRE BRIGADE MANGWA DE TU ANGAARON PAR HAI ARMAAN - DIWALI TRIBUTE #HIIMESHISGOD",the fire and ambition in our love will never stop growing. a diwali tribute #HIIMESHISGOD
#Dhoni pad gayi news dekh ke,#Dhoni has fallen reading the news
Shahid kapoor ne tumhe invite nahi kiya @BB,Shahid kapoor hasn't invited you @BB
@Nilzrav Aadha ghanta aur chalti toh Abu Dhabi pahaunch jaati. :P,"@Nilzrav if you had travelled for another half an hour , you would have reached abu dhabi"
main to park mein see saw pe bhi 5 min wasool karta tha .  .  .,i used to spend time on the park in the seesaw
@maham2910 jo Kaam nahi hota choortay nahi hai Jaab taak koi kick naa Maray .... Today he got his kick from Qandeel . Wadaaaaaaa Superhero,@maham2910 those who don't work promptly never change unless they get a kick.today he got his kick from qandeel . what a  superhero!
@someUSER me and katie are busy after school we have to go to playtoes and stuff .  but saturday morning .  lets do it !  then beach,"@someUSER me and katie are busy after school we have to go to playtoes and have some stuff to do .  but saturday morning , lets do it !  then let's go the beach."
@lifelovesuma intezaar ka phal is sweet .. gangaa ke hot dreams se Accha hoga real romance 😍😍😁😁,@lifelovesuma the fruit of patience is sweet ! real romance will be better than the hot dreams of ganga.
class math ki hai ya english ki ?,is this a math class or an english class?
@tweeting_pal sach sabko kadwa lagta hai,@tweeting_pal everyone finds the truth bitter
"hahahha ,  parents kya kya nahi karte apne child k liye .  .  .  .  .",haha! what wouldn't parents do for their child?
@iamGunjanGrunge muh band karlepic.twitter.com/ZzR4gZlVCz,@iamGunjanGrunge the picture to keep your mouth shut.twitter.com/ZzR4gZlVCz
RT @TheIntlHerald : India : Approx 100 Students Injured in Tear Gas and Lathi Charge on Non Kashmiri students at NIT Srinagar https://t.co/d,@TheIntlHerald : India : approximately 100 students Injured by tear gas and lathi charge on non kashmiri students at nit srinagar https://t.co/d
"lol .  . i cnt stop laughing , dis actully used to happend in our school :)",i can't stop laughing! this actually used to happen in our school.
Aur ladkiyo ki saari life unhi cheezo ko dhoondne me https://twitter.com/Miss_Woww/status/778498942929559552 …,girls spend their entire lives in search of these things https://twitter.com/Miss_Woww/status/778498942929559552 …
#GST ko le kar market m bachha bachha bhi draa betha h...#GST ki esi hawaa banna dali h...,#GST is the reason that even kids are scared in the market. #GST has created such a negative atmosphere.
Sir Nawaz Sharif ka phone haipic.twitter.com/3Ua2scYkUG,Sir Nawaz Sharif 's phone number is in this picture.twitter.com/3Ua2scYkUG
"@The_Sleigher :-/ aaj ke baaad woh mujhe bhi reply nahi karegi, spam na karo :( @humasqureshi","@The_Sleigher she won't reply to me after today, so please don't spam@humasqureshi"
@BrushUrTeeth_03 kya yaar. Mujhe bhi koi rt nahi karta.,@BrushUrTeeth_03 common man! no-one retweets me as well
"USA - Files divorce, gets divorce.India - Files Divorce, ""Jamaai par pehle se hi shak tha. Shaadi ke din Reshma ko kaise chipka tha??!!""","usa- files divorce and gets divorce.india - files divorce, "" i was suspiscious of jamaai from the very first day. remember who he hugged reshma during his marriage?"""
Bahi ke zalak sab sa aalag..... Ma to superman salman ka fan....,salman khan has a unique shine. i'm a huge fan of him.
Lord Ram never said Bharat Mata ki Jai. Because Kaikeyi sent him on a 14 year vanvaas.,lord rama never said 'salutations to the mother land' because kaikeyi sent him on a 14 year exile.
@chatpatidiary tum mere against mein prachaar mein kyu lage huwe ho?,@chatpatidiary why are you so involved in spreading news against me?
you wish to become Adele? Yaar bahot rotdu hai yahan tumko bhi number lagana hai?,"you wish to become adele? man, there's a lot of competition over her , do you want to join as well?"
@Atheist_Krishna abe tu to sahi laga hashtag,"man, you've coined the perfect hashtag!"
Another milestone! Mera desh badal raha hai! 0 #GST @narendramodi,another milestone! my country is changing .#GST @narendramodi
RT @SPoonia777 : All Volunteers are doing humanitarian deeds All over the world ! Guru @Gurmeetramrahim ji its #MSGsuccessCelebration https :/,@SPoonia777 : all volunteers are doing humanitarian deeds all over the world ! @Gurmeetramrahim it's #MSGsuccessCelebration https :/
#notebandi se Janta kitni pareshan hai ki #DeMonetisation ke baad har election me @BJP4India ka jalwa badhta ja raha hai 0,"#notebandi has caused huge distress to the public.after  #DeMonetisation , in every election ,the shine of @BJP4India has constantly been increasing."
"i'm not gon believe that victor cruz is the real deal until he lines up outside ,  no slot ,  and doesn't disappear like he did sunday","i'm not going to believe that victor cruz is the real deal until he lines up outside , no slot , and doesn't disappear like he did on sunday."
"right guys ,  last competition of the night .  .  .  like this status for a chance to win a copy of judas priest's 30th .  .  .  http/URL","alright guys ,  last competition for the night . like this status for a chance to win a copy of judas priest's 30th .  .  .  http/URL"
"Aankhon Hi Aankhon Mein Ishaara Ho Gaya, Baithe Baithe Jeene Ka Sahaara Ho Gaya..pic.twitter.com/s0Nkb2dCGI","between the eyes there were a few gestures. sitting idly, i found my lifetime partner. pic.twitter.com/s0Nkb2dCGI"
Bhut pyar krte hai hum aapse...bs aur kuch nhi..,i love you a lot . nothing else.
Modi : Ready ? Camera Man : Yes sir Modi : Ye le !!! https://t.co/MSReZ2EESk,modi : Ready ? camera man : yes sir. modi : take this! https://t.co/MSReZ2EESk
@Alllahdin kya chutyappa hai,@Alllahdin what stupidity is this?
But i think America m bhi aaya h kuch naya #Trump #AaGayaNayaHero,"but i think even in america, there's someone new #Trump #AaGayaNayaHero"
@indiantweeter Bhai aaj ka program tha milney ka,@indiantweeter brother we were supposed to meet today.
I like Aarti kyu ki wo prasad deti hai.,i like aarti because she gives me gracious gifts from god.
Matlab hogaya 15 baar khud RT kar ke ye. Shelf life khatam.,i'm done retweeting this 15 times. done with my shelf life
shaant ho ja @ANI_news,be calm @ANI_news
Sharma ji achche padosi nahi hai pic.twitter.com/dcuBikTpvU,mr.sharma isn't a good neighbor pic.twitter.com/dcuBikTpvU
Small village ka bhi news dikhao kabi #TripleTalaq Kabi #Kashmiri #Up #Yogi in se bhi bahar niklo Sir Ji @aajtak @sardesairajdeep,show the news of small villages too sometimes .#TripleTalaq  #Kashmiri #Up #Yogi please cover other states too @aajtak @sardesairajdeep
@Alllahdin bhaaaaiiiiii kya kar rahe ho,"@Alllahdin brother, what are you upto?"
Mujhe to abhi bhi vishwash nahi ho raha hai ki #Dhoni ne #Captaincy chhor diya hai .. please somebody tell ki ye FALSE news hai ...,i'm still unable to believe that #Dhoni has left #Captaincy .someone please tell me that this news is false.
loving the opening debates rap game kathy crowley october 20 - bruno mars http/URL,loved the opening debates rap game kathy crowley october 20 - bruno mars http/URL
pura filmy hai  .  .  .  bas ek change hai  .  .  .  papa ke marne ke baad chacha log ne property hadapne ki koshish hi nahiki ,)
@Parsahiya ye dekha dekha lag raha hai tweet,@Parsahiya this tweets seems familiar.
RT @coolfunnytshirt : Mithunda could sue Kapil Sharma for copyright infringement of ' babaji ka thullu ' http://t.co/pmeMsZVtji,@coolfunnytshirt : mithun  could sue kapil sharma for copyright infringement of ' babaji ka thullu ' http://t.co/pmeMsZVtji
Politics parties Obama ji se seekhe apne bhashan me ek dusre pr nishana saadhne ke alawa sirf ' Namastey ' hi kahde to baat ban jaayegi ..,"political parties please learn from obama. instead of putting blame on each other , a simple greeting would be enough"
"Happy MahaShivratri to All ... MahaShivratri ke hardik shubkaamnaye ... MahaShivaratri shubhakankshalu ... HAR HAR MAHADEV .,",happy mahashivratri to all.
"beta staff room j ja kr chalk le aana  ,  ha aur suno test wala rgestr bhi lete aana tum gadho ka no .  bhi btana hai  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  :)","child, go to the staffroom and bring some chalk. while you're at it also bring the test register. i need to disclose everyone's marks."
#surgicalStrike bhul gyi ? Border ki baat krti hai .... Hum hindustaniyo mein kitna protien hai aj pta chal jayega ....,did you forget the #surgicalStrike ? you speak of the border. today you must have felt the power of hindustani people. 
@Atheist_Krishna Aao kare is samasya ka nidaan milkar #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar,@Atheist_Krishna please get to know the root cause of this problem. #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar
do salo se media ka pura dhyan j&k pe hi h..chahe ho #JNU ka ya stone pelting ya hafij ya burhan mamla..fir v halat bad se badtar!,"for the past 2 years, the entire focus of the media has been on j&k. whether it was #JNU or burhan or hafiz , the situation has gone from bad to worse."
"Yun hi tum khud se baat karti ho, ya koi aur ka iraada hai?",do you talk to yourself or are you waiting for someone?
@timesn0w link bhejna mujhe bhi dekhna hai unka basis kya hai. Otherwise Pakistan is religiously tolerant in jokes only @brownbrumby @oirme,@timesn0w send the link. i want to see the basis of this. otherwise pakistan is religiously tolerant in jokes only @brownbrumby @oirme
"@SanikaRanade jaaneman favorite na karo, aajkal woh bhi like ho gaya hai",@SanikaRanade don't make sweetheart your favorite. nowadays he is also liked.
@iamGunjanGrunge tu to Stark hai.  Tera marna zaroori hai,@iamGunjanGrunge you're a stark. it's necessary for you to die.
arre papa ko office nhi jana kya ?  ?,doesn't dad have to go to office?
RT @Being_Humor : While we were watching #IndVsBan Kangna Ranaut dropped 1437 more mails to Hrithik .,@Being_Humor : while we were watching #IndVsBan kangana ranaut dropped 1437 more mails to hrithik .
"Yeh hi hota hai, haath do toh mujra karayengihttps://twitter.com/snarkyruch/status/686809793697169408 …",this is what happens. with 2 hands you end up doing a 'mujra' https://twitter.com/snarkyruch/status/686809793697169408 …
@Retributions @sidin uski shakal par Indian likha hai,@Retributions @sidin she has indian written all over her face
daaru ki botal bhi di thi. Kahan hai?,i gave you a bottle of alcohol as well. where is it?
"@ROFLaaLa @retardedwriter mithai, koi Irani ya sweet shop mein milega",@ROFLaaLa @retardedwriteryou would get sweets in an irani or sweet shop.
"Sardi khaasi na malaria hua, yeh gaya yaaron isko, Valeria hua #EscobarSongs",he's neither affected by cold or malaria but instead by valeria #EscobarSongs
sach mein maa and paa gr8  .  .  . love u,"mom and dad, you are really great. i love you."
haaye daiyaan tumhe kaise pata? Eeessh... sharam aati hai hatto,oh my god! how do you know? aren't you ashamed? get lost!
[ Admin Note ] In a plane on the way to Bombay after a few years ! I'm gonna be walking around aimlessly sometime in the next couple of days ,)
Sirji ye baat kuch samaj nahi aayeepic.twitter.com/s9Fvfhonp4,"sir, i'm unable to understand this conversation. pic.twitter.com/s9Fvfhonp4"
"@jiteshpillaai doordarshi naahi tumhi, telescope vikat ghya ek </3",@jiteshpillaai you can't see far when the telescope is in a critical condition.
10 number ke per mein 7 number ka joota ghusaya hai aisa lag raha hai.https://twitter.com/iPoonampandey/status/599596079781253120 …,it looks like someone has  put a 10 sized shoe into their 7 sized feet .https://twitter.com/iPoonampandey/status/599596079781253120 …
@Alllahdin @YearOfRat yahin hota hai </3,@Alllahdin @YearOfRat this is love
@Insane_chorri jiske liye sudharna tha.. Wo chhod ke gayee @tweeting_pal @TheDilliMirror,@Insane_chorri the person for whom you were supposed to change has left you. @tweeting_pal @TheDilliMirror
"@Alllahdin Pyre ke bhooke nahi, pyaase. Kyonhki chitta bhi peeta hai @warpedinxs","@Alllahdin love doesn't make you hungry , it makes you thirsty! because even the cheetah drinks."
"sa bowlers were talking to dhavan kohli and rahane in between overs .  .  .   "" bhai ,  bas hamare kapde hare he ,  ham sacchhi me pakistani nahi he .  .  god promise .  .  ""","south african  bowlers were saying this to dhawan,kohli and rahane in between overs - "" brother  ,we promise you that just because our clothes are green , but we aren't pakistanis""."
"Friday hai, iska matlab ye nahi subah subah hi chalu ho jao.https://twitter.com/arvindkejriwal/status/771530348761014272 …","Just because it's friday , don't get started in the morning.https://twitter.com/arvindkejriwal/status/771530348761014272 …"
i want to go watch denzel's new movie tomorrow !  someone take meeeeeeeeeee .,i want to go watch denzel's new movie tomorrow !  someone take me .
@niksy21 india baap hai n dono nalayak aulad huyi pak n b'desh .,@niksy21 india is the father . the two useless sons are pakistan and bangladesh.
"violence abhi shuru kaha hua he "" jab vo log vapas Bharat Murdabad ke naare lagate #jnu jese "" tab violence hota 0","the violence hasn't started yet. when these people scream 'death to india' like #jnu, that's when it will start."
.@RanaAyyub aaj bada men in uniform kar rahi ho.. Roz Pakistan ka side leti ho,.@RanaAyyub today you seem to be supporting the indian army a lot. usually you support pakistan.
ghutne ki nase phat jaegi jaaneman @BabitaPhogat,your harmstrings muscles will break sweetheart. @BabitaPhogat
only in goverment school :(,only in goverment schools.
"itna chota sa to bacha hai  ,  abhi se ye halat  ?",he's such a small child. why is he in this situation already?
"may 27 it goin down me ,  @someUSER and @someUSER throwing a graduation party !  at mardis gras 4275 winchester rd suite 6 pm until 12 !","on may 27 it's goin down! me ,  @someUSER and @someUSER  are throwing a graduation party  at mardis gras 4275 winchester rd suite 6 pm until 12 !"
@realpreityzinta mam kabhi kutch me bhi aaya karo shooting ke liye as @SrBachchan always says kutch nhi dekha to kuch nahi dekha ! #pzchat,@realpreityzinta ma'am please come to kutch sometime for shooting. @SrBachchan always says you haven't seen anything if you haven't seen kutch #pzchat
": LAST NIGHT MAHASHIVRATRI RUDRABHISHEK ..... My youngest nephew , Baba ka chota bhakt .",my youngest nephew rudra abishek at mahashivatri last night
hahahah .  .  .  :d history pdhte pdhte nind aa rai thi .  .  ekdm se tut gyi ye padh k .  .  :d,haha! i felt sleepy reading history. i became shocked reading this.
"Modi: Humein India ko strong banana hai. Kejri: Pehle khud ko strong banana hoga. RaGa: Doodh me Horlicks milao, doodh ki shakti badhao.","modi: we need to make india strong. kejriwal: first, you need to make yourself strong."
@MePurplelicious abhi ek ne bola mujhe. World ke biggest star ke haters hote hi hai. Dead.,@MePurplelicious someone just told me that the world's biggest stars too have haters.
"ek din ke liye, bas?",just for one day?
humara to sunday ko bi hai exam :(,we have exam on sunday as well.
plzz slaman jrur aana onlin or plzz jrur baat krna apne fans se plzzz..plzzzz...,please do come online salman and talk to your fans.
People of Gujarat aap decide karo ke #Demonitization aur #Gst desh ke liye ache hai ya phir #divideandrule #templerun #RahulSeparatistBhakt #CongressNeechPolitics jhoothe prcharak wali sarkar achi hai.,People of Gujarat please do decide if #Demonitization and #Gst were good for the nation or the #divideandrule #templerun #RahulSeparatistBhakt #CongressNeechPolitics type of politics is good for the nation?
Be someone's 'bhai jab tak garam roti aa rahi hai ye le meri half roti kha le',be the person who someone else can rely on when they're in need of help.
Nice! :* @MeetUunngLee tu shaadi kar raha hai aur mujhe nahi bataya?,"Nice!  @MeetUunngLee , you're getting married and you didn't tell me?"
@ARangarajan1972 Sir Mohit Sharma keliye woh cute Bird .. ko Nikalke .. kuch aur daalna padega ... He us ON FIRE 💕👍👏👌👌👌😂😂😂,@ARangarajan1972 sir we need to remove that cute bird and put something else for rohit sharma. he's on fire.
hota to tujhe ye puchna padta ?,"if it happened , would i be asking you this?"
@Sulci_Gyri kabhi break bhi liya karo,@Sulci_Gyri take a break sometimes.
I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/WbPP5XZuNq Atif Aslam - Old Songs Medley of Mohammad Rafi & Kishore Kumar at Live Concert 2012,i liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/WbPP5XZuNq atif aslam - old songs medley of mohammad rafi & kishore kumar at live concert in 2012
roza chalu hai @angryoungwoman,you do this everyday @angryoungwoman
@iamankursjain @akshaykanitkar mandal aabhari _/\_,@iamankursjain @akshaykanitkar thanks a lot!
Sab pyar ke bhooke hai.,everyone is hungry for love.
@twinitisha @tgirishkumar uska pata hai message kiske liye hai. Yeh hi problem hai ke tumhe nahi pata,@twinitisha @tgirishkumar he knows what the message is for. the problem is that you don't
KONINOOR LEKAR AAO MOTABHAI !!,bring back the kohinoor big brother!
"Om hi Ashta , Om Vishwas , Om se hoti hai din ki shubh shuruvat , Om Namah Shivay . MahaShivratri ki hardik shubhkamnayein .","om is the faith , om is the belief. om helps us start our day well. salutations to lord shiva. happy mahashivaratri."
Aur karlo havan #Trump ke liye ..,Aur karlo havan #Trump ke liye ..
"@someUSER ice may still issue an nta against her ,  though unlikely .  let me know if melany needs a lawyer in the area for #daca .","@someUSER immigration and customs enforcement may still issue a notice to appear against her ,  though unlikely .  let me know if melany needs a lawyer in the area for #daca ."
@KishoreDayani Ha ha ha hum bhi : ),@KishoreDayani haha! we too!
@twinitisha oooo mujhe bhool gayee tuupic.twitter.com/4LxIE94MFZ,@twinitisha oh i forgot the topic.twitter.com/4LxIE94MFZ
lo ab phodo pataakhe .  .  .  .  saale bahut chilla rhe the mauka mauka .  .  .  3:),you guys were shouting 'opportunity opportunity'! why don't you celebrate now?
@bawli_poonch woh to hamesha se hai @ShivAroor,@bawli_poonch that's been true always. @ShivAroor
we thought we'd never see the day - axl rose does 1st tv interview in 20 yrs and shows up on time !  watch: http/URL,we thought we'd never see the day - axl rose does his first tv interview in 20 yrs and shows up on time !  watch: http/URL
@AishwaryaPareek Rahul Gandhi bezatiproof hain :),@AishwaryaPareek rahul gandhi is mocking-proof.
@Fussy_Ca jiske saath so.. Usi ke saath utho,@Fussy_Ca wake up with who you sleep.
april &amp, i are having dinner in jacksonville tomorrow night with milford &amp
gunna snow .  wc says winter storm watch till 5pm tomorrow  .  .  it was 80*f yesterday,going to snow. the weather channel says winter storm watch till 5pm tomorrow. it was 80 degrees farhenheit yesterday.
@Atheist_Krishna ye dekh pataka guddipic.twitter.com/xGXOJ1qs88,@Atheist_Krishna look at this bomb.
"Pyar dilon ka mela hai, aur tum usmein ke aamir khan.",love is a festival of the hearts and you are it's aamir khan.
mujhse toh baat bhi nahi karti koi :'(,no one even talks to me.
Sunday raat ko neend aur retweet nahi aate.,i don't get sleep or retweets on sunday night.
Sir #GST lgane Se pahle agar kanun vyavastha ko durust kar lete to achha hota @narendramodi,sir before appplying #GST it would be more fitting if you could fix our law and order system.
"@BeingSalmanKhan ek rupya nahi dena unhe, saale chor hai.","@BeingSalmanKhan don't give them a single rupee, they are thieves!"
bhai kya khata hai aajkal.. joke ki quality kaise improve ki ?,"brother , what do you eat nowadays ? the quality  of your jokes has improved!"
"Jamai Raja, Kumkum Bhagya, Diya Aur Baati Hum etc etc. #ThingsThatUniteIndians","jamai raja, kumkum bhagya, diya aur baati hum etc. #ThingsThatUniteIndians"
#nba the brooklyn nets opener vs .  the new york knicks is postponed .  it was originally scheduled for thursday evening .,#nba the brooklyn nets opener vs  the new york knicks is postponed .  it was originally scheduled for thursday evening .
56 games he hote the saale mein .  -_-,there used to be only 56 games in it.
chalks k bahane poora school ghoom lete the :d,we used to roam the entire school in the name of searching for chalks
@incredible_setu koi bana ke de tab to :),@incredible_setu only if someone makes it.
"too far, adhrak wali banayi hai?","too far, have you made the ginger version?"
"@perky_girl16 case toh cihitra hai tumhara, koi nahi all you need is someone like me.","@perky_girl16 your case is like your picture. don't worry, all you need is someone like me."
@MildlyClassic paaji ko twitter ka chaska lag gaya hai. Kuch bhi tweet retweet karte hain just like his batting.,@MildlyClassic big brother has got addicted to twitter. he tweets or retweets anything0 just like his batting.
@SecularTrainee sahi me.. Yaha chillane se kya hoga,"@SecularTrainee seriously though, what's the point of shouting here?"
@witchybitchygal Haha. Phir to woh Gul hi ho jayega,@witchybitchygal haha. then it will turn.
@Gurmeetramrahim #MustWatchMSG Thank you papaji bhut ghant lage rahe ho,@Gurmeetramrahim #MustWatchMSG than you dad! you're looking fabulous.
guddu ka haseen sapne :d :v,guddu's funny dreams.
"duck hunt to kabhi paar nhi hui stage mujse ,  sabse ho jati thi  ,  gussa aata tha us dogi k upar :( :(",i could never cross the duck hunt stage. everyone used to cross it. i used to get really angry at the dog.
@sagarcasm mein bhi hu Maheshwari.. Jai shri krishna @divyaszaika @navneet_mundhra @Payal_Lahoti,@sagarcasm even i'm maheswari. salutations to lord krishna! @divyaszaika @navneet_mundhra @Payal_Lahoti
Kash ... #Diwali me patakhe bhi gift kiye hote !,damn! i wish people gifted crackers during #Diwali .
apne bachpan ki photo ko lala ki photo batakar likes batorne ka tareeka accha hai!!!!,calling your childhood photo lala's photo and increasing likes on it is an interesting idea.
bhai agar bahar gya to baingan (brinjal) ke sath he wapas aayega guddu,"brother if you go out , then come back with brinjal only."
"Saavdhan rahe, satark rahe",be careful. be cautious.
@DiwakarKothari_ AAPtards ka koi ilaaj nahi,@DiwakarKothari_ aam aadmi party supporters have no respect.
RT @SirJadeja : Ab Australia Dekhegi India Ke Tevar Jab Unko Dhoyenge Anushka Ke Devar . ,) RT if you're Waiting For #IndvsAus #AUSvIND #CW
BCCI : Bhai team mai to khel le 0,BCCI : brother play in the team atleast.
@Ra_Bies @sayshardik Daaru peena mera janam siddh adhikar hai aur ye haq mujhse koi nahi chheen sakta :-D,@Ra_Bies @sayshardik drinking alcolhol is my birthright and noone can steal this from me.
Kyu bhagwan kyu . Hamare saath hi kyu #INDvAUS e : BSF troops http://t.co/gqN1mGkChA,why god why? why does it always happen to us? #INDvAUS  http://t.co/gqN1mGkChA
RT @iAnkitaLal : Owaisi : Constitution mein kahi nahi likha ki Dhoni hi winning runs banayega 😂 #IndvsPak #ICCWT20,@iAnkitaLal : Owaisi : it isn't written anywhere in the constitution that only dhoni should score the winning runs.#IndvsPak #ICCWT20
"@ROFL_India aise hi hona chahiye, ye aur logon ne bhi seekhna chahiye",@ROFL_India this is how it should be. more people should learn this.
.@Shehla_Rashid islam me peena haraam hai,.@Shehla_Rashid drinking is forbidden in islam.
#WhereIsRahul Sonia gandhi ki godd me hoga :/ n wasool ke aana please . ye accha mauka hai jab hum series me 1-0 se aage hain ....... MUNNA,#WhereIsRahul he's probably on sonia gandhi's lap. please collect money and come. now is an excellent opportunity since we're leading 1-0!
SP BSP CONG ki career hi kharab kar di ....,"he's ruined the career of sp,bsp and congress."
"to kachhuwa sir  ,  kitno ko murga banaya aaj  ?  kachhuwa sir .  . aaj to bas guddu hi pakad me aaya tha .  :p","tortoise sir, how many chickens did you make today? tortoise sir ,today i was able to catch guddu only."
@twinitisha tujhe hichki nahi aati? Wo notification hai,@twinitisha don't you get hiccups? that's a notification!
RT @KiranKS : #MahaShivratri : Adi Shankara's amazing Nirvana Shatakam . South Indian style : http://t.co/jnEadDi4ui http://t.co/BnEZj0PYqp,@KiranKS : #MahaShivratri : adi shankara's amazing nirvana shatakam . south indian style : http://t.co/jnEadDi4ui http://t.co/BnEZj0PYqp
"nam ko bhi nahi h 0 panipat "" faridbad me bhi gang rape 0 ye kya ho raha h ?",panipat doesn't even hold true to its name. there's a gangrape in faridabad as well. what is going on?
"#Modi To #Trump Ko Bhi Hara Sakta Hai """,#Modi can defeat #Trump as well.
@RowdyTalks Hahaha Thanks Bhai :-),@RowdyTalks haha! thanks brother.
Dekho Paalak aayee hai .. Swagat nahi karoge inka @Randomwanti,spinach has arrived! i won't accept this. @Randomwanti
@ApkaBabe shukriya Sir!,@ApkaBabe thank you sir!
@UddhhamSingh arre yaar aajkal bade bouncer padte hain yaha,@UddhhamSingh damn man! nowadays big bouncers are found here.
Har Insaan ek Second Chance Deserve karta hai .....,every human deserves a second chance.
money $$$ bhut kharch kar rhe h bjp,money is doing a lot for bjp
"ye india hai ,  kuchh bhi ho sakta hai yaha",this is india! anything can happen.
@Ra_Bies lol. Wahan ke sharab aur shabab. Aaye haaye,@Ra_Bies alcohol and youthfullness from there. wow!
apple ceo apologizes for error-ridden new map app: apple ceo tim cook apologized friday for the company's error-ridden new mobile map .  .  .,apple ceo apologizes for error-ridden new map app. apple ceo tim cook apologized on friday for the company's error-ridden new mobile map . 
"was ready to tune in and watch my thursday night comedy on channel 4 and then the tv guide tells me  "" the voice ""  is on .  .  . dammit .","was ready to tune in and watch my thursday night comedy on channel 4 and then the tv guide tells me  "" the voice ""  is on .  dammit ."
"Tum log isi desh me baith kar isi desh ki buraiya peet sakte ho, koi bahar jaake india ki tareef nahi kar sakta? cocaine band kardohttps://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/866626568268824576 …",you guys sit in this country and talk bad about india. can't someone from abroad praise india? stop doing cocaine. https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/866626568268824576 …
kya kiya maine didi?,"what have i done , elder sister?"
"Is Arvind Kejriwal new Che Guavara ? RT @ashutosh83B Is Rahul Gandhi new Arvind Kejariwal ?
",is arvind kejriwal the new che guavara ? is rahul gandhi the new arvind kejriwal?
Ajjab Chutyon Ki Gajjab Kahaani.https://twitter.com/actresskavita/status/742166632542425088 …,mesmerizing story of the unique holidays.https://twitter.com/actresskavita/status/742166632542425088 …
@Jagat___Janani lol aaj chutiye log form me hai ,)
aaj raat tu isi se kaam chala  @DOCTORATLARGE,tonight you work with this  @DOCTORATLARGE .
Kya guarantee hai ki sab questions ka answer aap hi denge???koi dusra bhi toh de sakta hai???,what is the guarantee that you would answer all the questions? someone else can also give the answer.
Bihar me vikas lao.. Jaatiwaad door bhagao #ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao,bring development to bihar and remove casteism. #ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao 
Baby ko kalesh pasand hai,baby likes mischief.
Ye kaun se desh ki hindi bol rahe Modi ji - Liberals #ModiSpeech,what hindi is modi speaking? - liberals #ModiSpeech
@TimesNow imagine the mentality .. #notebandi aur #nasbandi mein fark hi pata aur inhe PM ban na hai 0 #GathbandhanWithGhotala,"@TimesNow imagine the mentality ,he doesn't know the difference between #notebandi and #nasbandi , but he wants to become the prime minister. #GathbandhanWithGhotala"
Salman bhai mafi Maglo abi time hi..Muslim bina hit karuga Bajrangi Bhaijan ko...kesi karo gi bhai...apka frns group he hi Muslim,"salman please apologise , there still is time. how would you make bajrangi bhaijaan a hit without muslims? your entire fanbase is muslims."
Kab bat karenge salman ji app we r waiting ..pls rply....,when would you talk to us mr.salman ? we are waiting.
"40 baar yaar, ye sab ginti rakhta hu main.",40 times man. i keep a count of all this.
Congrats @msdhoni and @SaakshiSRawat bhabhi.. Beti ki bohot bohot badhai !!,Congrats @msdhoni and @SaakshiSRawat best wishes on having a daughter!
ar hum utne me hi khush .  .  .,and we are happy with this much.
Jaldi aa jao Salu bhai.bhai aap kahan ho 4pm ho gaya...I'm waiting you bajrangi bhaijn...Aap bahut kamaal karte ho...,come fast salman. where are you? it's 4 o' clock already.  you do great things.\
@Vikramjit_S What bugwas. Windows khol kar bahar phek dete.,@Vikramjit_S what rubbish. open the window and throw it out.
@NotSoNautankee itni angrezi nahi aati.. Hindi me samjhao,@NotSoNautankee i don't understand so much english. please translate to hindi.
"hamare zamaane main bas question different hota tha -  "" sachin kitne pe hai ?  ""  :-/ kya din the woh .  . sighhh !  !  ! ","during our generation , only the question was different- "" how much is sachin on?"". those were the days man! sigh!"
"yahi to scam hai ji ,  isi ke liye to dharne pe baithe hai :d",this is the scam. that's why they sit in protest.
@Shaheer_S Gud mrng nd HAPPY MAHASHIVRATRI ....... SUNO aaj mndir zarur jana jo bhi mangoge vo milega ...,@Shaheer_S good morning and happy mahashivratri. you must go to the temple today. whatever you seek you shall get.
Bullet Train ka #MakeInIndia ho rha hai,Bullet Train is a part of the #MakeInIndia initiative.
iss bar eid ki party bhai ki tarf se...........,this time the eid party is on him.
hello ji.. Aap bhool gaye :(,hello sir! you forgot me.
@Atheist_Krishna ab to sunny leone ki pic dikhaani padegi @zzoker @Being_Humor,@Atheist_Krishna now you must show sunny leone's pic @zzoker @Being_Humor
"@pank_it haha! ICICI ke line mein khada hu shaam 6 baje se, ab tak number nahi aaya",@pank_it haha! i've been waiting in the icici line since 6pm in the evening. i still haven't got my chance.
ab to guddu ke marks minus me aayenge :p,now guddu's score will become negative.
@LoKarloUnfollow huhuhu.. Bete hum hum hai.. Baki sab paani kam hai @NaughtyDew_,@LoKarloUnfollow everyone else is inferior to me son @NaughtyDew_
Indore's Tai Sumitra Mahajan is LS Speaker. Ab 'Baith jaiye Baith jaiye' ki jagah 'Poha khaiye Poha Khaiye' !!  #विश्व_पोहा_दिवस,"the mother of indore , sumitra mahajan is the lok sabha speaker. now instead of 'sit down,' you'd be hearing 'eat poha'"
@ppritam009 honi hi thi yar. Aas paas koi aur nahi hoti to 350 bhi jati.,@ppritam009 it should have happenned man! there was no one nearby else they would have crossed 350.
"staff room se master saab ki stick le k aana ,  aur fir usi stick se 5 -5 dono haatho me khaana .  .  !  missing those days .  .  !",we used to bring our master's stick from the staffroom and get hit on our hands by it. those were the days man!
RT @kchowdhury9 : #boycottraees pura mohalla ban for #raees,@kchowdhury9 : #boycottraees the entire area has banned  #raees
Kya tumne kabhi kisise pyaar kiya?,have you ever loved anyone?
aur tata wala namak aur tea bechta hai  .  .  infosys ek cyber cafe hai  .  .,tata sells salt and tea as well. infosys is just a cyber cafe.
"@_Agathist hadh hai, achhai ka zamana hi nahi hai. Khhair chhodo",@_Agathist this is too much! this isn't the generation of goodness. btw leave!
Salman best of luck for bajrangi bhaijan....iss baar bhi sare record tod degi...inshallah,salman best of luck for bajrangi bhaijan.even this time you will break all records. may the lord be with you!
Abe @HathwalaThakur ye dekhpic.twitter.com/515Ms9DDo6,@Hathwala thakur have a look at this picture pic.twitter.com/515Ms9DDo6
450 se upar gaye to pakka haar jayenge!,if it goes over 450 we'd definitely lose.
"@KajuBadamChor kya baat kaju, main aaj kal dilli mein hu. Kabhi aana ho toh bata","@KajuBadamChor what's up katju? i'm in delhi today , let me know if you want to meet."
"Jadeja be like, bhai hath mila lo to ham jayen.","jadeja be like, if you're joining hands , then i'd volunteer"
@dhaval241086 bhains ke aage been bajane se kya matlab hai.. Ise nahi aayega samaj,@dhaval241086 there's no point explaining things to people who wouldn't understand them anyways.
yee too sach me guddu ke baayen hath ka khel hai .  . :-(,this is guddu's left handed batting.
@pranavsapra @oxymoronic_me Jan pooch ke karte hai ye.,@pranavsapra @oxymoronic_me he does this by taking someone's life
"Yahan kuch bhi bola, koi ek chutye ko us mein problem zaroor hogi. Bhai, aapka saabun slow hai kya?",whatever you say someone will have a problem with it. brother is your soap slow?
Bhai #TripleTalaq koi issue Hi NHi h ... Aur itna aasan NHi Hota talaq dena ya Lena ...,brother#TripleTalaq isn't that big an issue at all and it isn't that easy to give or take talaq.
".@digvijaya_28 Chacha, Sonia ji ki duty roz kitna ghanta karte ho?",".@digvijaya_28 uncle, how many hours a day do you work for sonia ma'am?"
kya imagination power hai ladke ki :p,what an imagination that boy has!
bhai pichwada to bhopu ne kharab kar diya .  . bt amardeep sharma ka kuch jyada hi ho gya heeee .  .  .  aditya varshney,"bopu has destroyed the backyard , but amardeep sharma has taken things to a whole new level."
@SRKhyati @iamsrk Aaawwiee Thank you so much Baccha ❤ Kaash ise kal dekhti to aaj to meko IT mein noble prize hi mi jata ... dhat teri ki,@SRKhyati @iamsrk thank you so much son. maybe if i had seen this a while ago i would have won the nobel prize by now.
Ranveer Singh is more irritating than Shahrukh Khan.,ranveer singh is more irritating than shahrukh khan.
@Alllahdin Phone utha!,@Alllahdin Phone wake up!
4 days until vintagenow .  we want to raise a bundle for the safe house for women .  support us by attending 0ct 30th .  http/URL,4 days until vintage now . we want to raise a bundle for the safe house for women .  support us by attending this event on 0ct 30th .  http/URL
mujhe kbhi kisi ne gaadi pe nhi baithaya .  .  . main to hamesha unke piche he daudta .  .  .,i've never sat in a vehicle. people have always made me run behind one.
once cheat to urself . . see the miracle,cheat yourself once and see the miracle.
"Agar final mein India aa bhi gayi, yeh sadi bowling phir se dekhi padegi. Abhi nikal lete hain.","if india indeed makes it to the final , we'd have to see this bowling all over again. it's better we exit right now."
victor cruz aint do the salsa all game .  .  . he's overdue .  .  .  . its the 4th quarter .  .  . its time,victor cruz ain't gonna be doing the salsa all game .   he's overdue .   it's the 4th quarter .   it's about time
"@TweetErrant  Ghar kiska bhi jale,  apne khaane par aanch nahi aani chahiye.  Rozi roti ka sawaal hai","@TweetErrant  regardless of whoseover's house burns , the food on the table shouldn't be affected. that's what matters the most."
Kejriwal bhai aur kitna zaher gholegahttps://twitter.com/ndtv/status/660011540897075200 …,how much more poison would you spread kejriwal? https://twitter.com/ndtv/status/660011540897075200 …
Aaj subah potty thik se hui. pet ekdum halka ho gaya. #BecauseOfNehru,i shat well today morning. my stomach feels light. #BecauseOfNehru
bhai mario me bhi unlimited 1ups milte the .  .  kachue ko seedi se sata k uske upar koodte raho .  .  1up milte rehte the :p :p :p :p,brother even in  mario we used to get 1ups unlimited. treat the tortoise like a ladder and jump off it. you'd still get 1 ups.
Ab piyakadd aur anpad ko kya maalum #GST tax payers ki life easy banata hai mushkil nahi.,how would drunkards and illiterate people know that #GST makes people's life easier not difficult?
Ab 4 40 ho gaye hain.....,it's 4.40 now
"PM koi bhi ho, gaaliya to deni hi hai.","regardless of who is the prime minister , people abuse the person."
"Chai, chao fook kar piya hai abhi.",i drank tea just now.
"is yellow waali 99 , 99 , 999-in-1 me udne waali mario hoti thi .  :p","this yellow girl is the one who used to blow up once in 9,99,999 times in mario."
"Politicians se milna kam kardo baba , har cheez me credit lene ki aadat pad jaati hai :) https://t.co/iS7lYqZcBz",stop meeting politicians brother. you have the habbit of taking credit for everything. https://t.co/iS7lYqZcBz
Chumma chahye . I promise mai wapis kardunga .,i need a kiss. i promise to return it.
@BloodyKamina Teri bhook ka ilaaj ladki ki chu ,)
@CertifiedKamina bhai apni apni aastha ,)
@bholi_si_soorat chinta mat kariye.. Aapka number bhi jaldi aayega ,) @BrushUrTeeth_03
car racing or star galaxy b milta tha :d mast game tha yar ,)
@witchybitchygal Kumar Vishwas - Gabbar Singh ne aadmi banne ka mauka pehle mujhe diya tha ,)
"Kal nahaye bina match dekh rahe the na sab, isiliye haar gaye.",you guys were watching the match without taking bath right? that's why we lost!
Dheere dheere se meri zindagi me aana' ~ Ashutosh Gowariker,come slowly into my life'-ashutosh gowariker
@dwivedi_ji12 so jaa bhai,@dwivedi_ji12 sleep brother
laddoo .  .  . remember school days :) best life ever :),laddi ! remember school days . best life ever !
@indujalali @javedmansari World Cup mein Bachon Ko Bhi entry milti hai kya ???,@indujalali @javedmansari are kids allowed entry in the worldcup too?
Bhagwaan ko bhi nahi chhodapic.twitter.com/nCv7iRN90m,didn't spare god either.twitter.com/nCv7iRN90m
Meet mohatarma mujhe aapki zindagi ka tumse zyada khayal hai. https://twitter.com/autumnrainwish/status/738321432459902976 …,meet mohatarma. i'm more worried about your life than you. https://twitter.com/autumnrainwish/status/738321432459902976
"continued assault - indianapolis faces a tough miami defense this sunday ,  one that ranks third in the league in yard .  .  .  http/URL","continued assault - indianapolis faces a tough miami defense this sunday ,  one that ranks third in the league in yard .  http/URL"
@Alllahdin Arre Arre kya hogaya?,@Alllahdin what happened man?
@RegaJha kuch bhi bakwaaz,@RegaJha random bullshit
anna ji aap bhi samajseva chour ke aap party me samil ho jaiye .  .  .,"anna sir even you can be present in the party of thieves , which is the aam aadmi party"
"Janemon Full Mp3 Song Free Download Herogiri Movie Benny Dayal , Dipali Sathe http://t.co/ocse9u25PF","free download of ""janemon"" full mp3 song from movie ""herogiri""  sung by benny dayal , dipali sathe at given link http://t.co/ocse9u25pf"
@Riskiest_Poison bahut pyari hai,@Riskiest_Poison you are lovely
Ye Hauz Khas jaata hai. https://twitter.com/92Dipz/status/718113191855783936 …,it goes to hauz khas. https://twitter.com/92dipz/status/718113191855783936 …
"@kamana_13 gaanvat baavdicha paani aahe, palikecha nahi.",@kamana_13 it's borewell water not of municipality.
"A colleague in office concerned about Kashmir, ""roz ke jhamele se acha hai Pak ko de do""

Han bhai, taaki kal dilli me bhi jhamele shuru ho!","a colleague in office concerned about kashmir says ""give kashmir to pak to avoid future issues"". this will result in issues at delhi in future."
@MeetUunngLee jaaga hai?,@MeetUunngLee are you awake?
@Ra_Bies Kya haalchaal khajoori mal?,@Ra_Bies kya how are you?
Team tht #Photowalks 2gthr stays 2gthr :) Suppa #PhotoWok at Dadar market @mehulgohil @TheSynergy5 @wokthiswayindia https://t.co/PCye4BOoWq,team that #Photowalks together stays together.super #PhotoWok at dadar market @mehulgohil @TheSynergy5 @wokthiswayindia https://t.co/pcye4boowq
@sureshpprabhu Sr.my friend halp plz . Use doodh ki bahut jarurat hai chhota baby hai,"@sureshpprabhu my friend, please feed the baby with milk."
"yameenaky bodu vageh kan kasha varu . mi fageeru gaumeh noon , billion dollar vakkan kuru fageeru vegen tha","they are. your faegir gayoum noon, billion dollar walk"
RT @LALETTAN_BOYS : Lalettan may do a film with Thala in Tamil for Vishnuvardhan movie . Director now at Kerala For story narration,rt @LALETTAN_BOYS : lalettan may do a film with thala in tamil for vishnuvardhan movie . director is now at kerala for story narration
"after a long time ,  today i watched entire republic day parade .  .  .  .  .  .  . aur is pic ne ladduo ki yaad dila di jo aaj nahi mile .  . ","after a long time, i watched entire republic day parade and this picture brought back the memories of laddu which wasn't with me."
well being a general candidate you wouldnt had any option to lie on the basis of that only one examination  .  .  such is life for general candidates :-(,well being a general candidate you wouldn't had any option to lie on the basis of that only one examination. life for general candidates is ruthless.
Bakwaas hai bhai..Bas apne movies pey lagao. BB 500 Crore minimum guaranteed!!!,it's rubbish my bro.invest only on indian movies. blockbuster and 500 crore minimum guaranteed!!!
"sawaal  "" kachhua sir ""  ne poochha aur complaint ki  "" kushwaha sir ""  ne .  .  .  .  .  chugalkhor sir :p  .  .  .  . ","question asked by "" kachhua sir "" and complained by "" kushwaha sir "". back-biter sir"
@BhayanakPuppy mere bhi kuch aise hi halaat hai,@BhayanakPuppy  i have a similar situation
@nitinysharma chal raha tha,@nitinysharma was running
modi saab ye konsi country hai???,"modi sir, which country is this ???"
"Uske liye pehle shaadi karni padti hai Akriti, uff!","aakti has to get married first, oops!"
@BolshoyBooze @NaughtyDew_ Bilkul bhai. But stags allowed hai na?,@BolshoyBooze @NaughtyDew_  absolutely brother. are stags allowed?
@ICC @cricketworldcup #CWC15 #IndvsPak Kal chillana zarur par sirf INDIA INDIA q k PAK PAK to murhiyaan b karti hai,@ICC @cricketworldcup #CWC15 #IndvsPak cheering during the match but only india india because pak pak is done by hen also
Lo ... Captainship hi finish krdi mene,in ... captainship hi finished captaincy
Ek kejriwal aur saamne pura ka pura vipaksh ........ one man army ....... sirf naam hi kaafi he boss ........ #PVSindhu,"kejriwal and the entire opposition in front ........ one man army ....... only name is enough, boss ........ #PVSindhu"
dhoni ka sala h . in sb ki bure days aane wale h .,dhoni's year. haters bad days are coming.
Naya Saal Raas Nahi Aaya Kyunki Unhoni Ko HNY karne waale Sir Dhoni ne captaincy Jo thukra di :'(,"the new year did not come well because sir dhoni, rejected captaincy."
"Main aapke beti ka haath maangne aaya hu, mere haath ab thakk chuke hai.","i have come to ask for your daughter's hand, my hands are now tired."
pan parag se hoga swagat @BinaKaheLunga @timesofindia,you will be welcomed with pan parag @BinaKaheLunga @timesofindia
sir orissa pe kavi aao na.plz...,"sir, please come to orissa anytime."
Suresh Raina ko Bahut Jald Manish Pandey Replace karega ...,manish pandey will replace suresh raina very soon
gambled on chocolate day as a successful theme day at work .  . turns out chdn do like chocolate .  wed .  is gross day .  hope kids like gross stuff .,gambled on chocolate day as a successful theme day at work . it turns out that shouldn't do like chocolate .wed is gross day. hope kids like gross stuff .
"@Priya_Menon ajeeb zabardasti hai khud ki baat rakhne ki. No, thank you.",@ priya_menon what's this strange way to force someone to talk. no thank you
pratykshik pariksha - mario me unlimited life kaha milti hai aur use kaise paye ?,exam question - where is the unlimited life found in mario and how to get it?
@sambha_bhilane mere pass bhi hai. It starts with 'Main dharak ko...',@sambha_bhilane i have too. it starts with 'the holder'
films mei kab dikha ye  ?,when did it appear in films?
"Unhone dharm nibhaya, masum bachpana nibha rahi hai.pic.twitter.com/DSNrgfHXwQ","he practiced religion, child showed innocence. pic.twitter.com/dsnrgfhxwq"
"bas abhi pahonche, taiyaar raho","just arrived, be ready"
@someUSER i smell a 2nd pro bowl for my boy !  best safety in the league !  shout out for that solid legal hit !  #thehawk4probowl,@someUSER i smelled 2nd professional bowl for my boy ! take care of safety in the league !  shout out for that solid legal hit !  #thehawk4probowl
"Ball pakistaniyo ne maari , galat decisions #India ko diye ! Nt done #umpire !! #IndiaVsPak #AsiaCupT20","ball was wrongly hit by pakistan players, wrong decision given to #India! not done umpire !! !! #IndiaVsPak #AsiaCupT20"
@Atheist_Krishna aur mere paise tu dega kya ?? @imVkohli,@Atheist_Krishna aur mere paise tu dega kya ?? @imVkohli
"Padhaaro mhaare des, aaja","my country, today"
@Miss_Ankiita ab wapas jaa rahe ,)
@Madan_Chikna maine to pahile hi bola tha ... ab to retweet karde bhai ... tabhi logo ko pata chalega .. tere jaise follower kaha hame ..,"@ madan_chikna i had already spoken… now please retweet, only then people will know .we don't have as much as followers as yours"
"@speedyritesh nahi, kahan hai","@speedyritesh no, where is it"
@nehagoyal29 kripya vote karein aur gyaan na baatein. yahan sabhi gyaani hain.,@ nehagoyal29 please vote and do not try to act oversmart. all are intelligent people here.
shan aur guddu playing in different teams (shan-daar wicket keeper)  !  !  !  ye kubsey ho gaya  ?  ?,shaan and guddu playing in different teams (fabulous wicket keeper)! ! ! when did he bacame such a good wicketkeeper?
had hai yaar phati ke dhol bajaane ki @Fussy_Ca,it's enough beating around the bush @Fussy_Ca
@iKunaal bhai rumaal bhi nike ka use karte hai,@iKunaal bro uses even handkerchief of nike!
ha ha ha...badhiya hai...zaroor dekhein :)https://twitter.com/KyaUkhaadLega/status/689796499283275777 …,"ha ha ha, it's great. please check out at https://twitter.com/kyaukhaadlega/status/689796499283275777…"
" "" dream high 2 premieres on feb 20th with eng sub thru kbs world !  ""  ok noted","dream high 2  premier on feb 20th with english subtitles through kbs world ! "".ok noted!"
Ye bhi accha hi jisko protection dena that use hi arrest kar liye https://t.co/L3KxzSeUY9,we have arrested people who should have been given protection instead: http://t.co/l3kjsuy9
"Aao sikhau tumhe ande ka funda, ye nahi pyaare koi maamuli bandahttps://twitter.com/engrossingfacts/status/733726663310118915 …",see about a brilliant person at this link https://twitter.com/engrossingfacts/status/733726663310118915 …
Suna hai aajkal log @OfficeOfRG ke rally k bad #GST me se kaunsa product ghataya jayega ispar bet laga rahe hai.,heard that nowadays people are betting on which product will be reduced from #GST after rally of @OfficeOfRG
"* JAI * * SHIV * * SHANKAR * * MAHADEV * Hum Tamam Hindu Brothery Ko MAHASHIVRATRI Ki Lakh Lakh Badhai Dete Hain . By , RAJESH . N . KAPOOR ADVOCATE .","jai shiva shankar mahadev, we congratulate all the hindu brothers on the occasion of mahashivaratri. by, rajesh.n.kapoor advocate."
"@TandonRaveena @BeingSalmanKhan tumse jo dekhte hi . ... kabhi charniroad , kabhi ... was lovely ...","@TandonRaveena @BeingSalmanKhan the song, ""tumse jo dekhte hi . ... kabhi charniroad , kabhi""  is lovely"
"list which console you had ,  i had samurai tv video game and mega .  .  .  usse paane ke liye kya kya paapad belne pade the :d","list which console you had, is hd samurai tv video game and mega.we had to struggle a lot to get it."
Fitoor kaisi hai?https://twitter.com/arvindkejriwal/status/700672665506357248 …,how is fitur? https://twitter.com/arvindkejriwal/status/700672665506357248
""" @Vivek_Stalin : #SuperBudget T6 Boost global heritage sites in Goa , Guj , Kar , Mumbai , J&K . """," @Vivek_Stalin : #SuperBudget t6 boost global heritage sites in goa , gujarat , karnataka , mumbai , jammu and kashmir . "
@notlykYOU bahot gambhir samasya hai,@notlykYOU it's a very serious problem
Hindus me har koi selfish hai :),every hindu is selfish
"Oh, to ye kaunsi cheez ke liye hai? Earphones testing?","oh, so what is this for? earphones testing?"
@divya_16_ meri kundli dekh kar bata do shaadi kab tak hogi ,) @dhaval241086
Jyada khush mat ho RWs.. Sonia Rahul ko bail ho jaegi.. #SoniaRahulHazirHo,don't be very happy rws. sonia and rahul will soon get bail. #SoniaRahulHazirHo
@LoKarDi_RT pyaar kiya to darna kya,@LoKarDi_RT there is nothing to fear when you love someone truly.
@someUSER so they should've ran the ball on 3rd &amp, 7 ?  blame cam all u want but flacco is the problem .  elite qbs dont have games like that
"black friday huge saving aerial view of a city ,  paris las vegas ,  the las vegas strip ,  las vegas ,  .  .  .  http/URL","black friday huge saving aerial view of a city ,  paris, the las vegas, the las vegas strip"
#Trump baap ke #Dhamki ka bhi jawab do #Gandou sirf #IK k khelaaf mat bhonko,also respond to #Trump father's #Dhamki #Gandou don't just talk against of #IK only.
"Dhakad!
Raftaar kills it!https://twitter.com/badechote/status/808573787876691968 …",classy! raftaar kills it! https://twitter.com/badechote/status/808573787876691968 …
Asli #AprilFool to #Jio ne banaya hai ye bol ke ki services band ho jayegi 31 ko 0 Aur sabse recharge kara liya :),the real #AprilFool has been made by #Jio by saying that services will close by 31st august and got the most recharge.
@Alllahdin @retardedwriter #TagTheHottestSingle nahi tha,@Alllahdin @retardedwriter #TagTheHottestSingle not present
.@ashutosh83B aur Modi ji 2019 me PM hue to tu 3 baap ka ?,@ashutosh83B if modi becomes prime minister in 2019 then you are father of 3 child?
"#FF @rushingquark 
Bhai one side hai.",#FF @rushingquark it's one-sided bro.
bhai jan kya baaaat haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.,nice man!!
@The_Sleigher Mujhe darr hai RT spree de diya to Sir emotional ho kar rone na lag jaye,@The_Sleigher mujhe if rt spree is given then i hope that sir won't start crying.
@Anjala1973 mein to ghar le aaya,@Anjala1973 i have brought it home
RT @rashidcha1 : @65Alazeem @mudasar_zaffar qandeel Baloch pehle se janti thi pak nh jeet pae ga match .. 😂😂,rt @rashidcha1 : @65Alazeem @mudasar_zaffar qandeel baloch knew already that pak won't win the match
Pehle #IIT ya #JNU ke entrance mein 10 marks laa ke dikha fir standard ki baat kariyo jaahil .. !!,"first,bring 10 marks in either #IIT or #JNU entrance exam and then talk about the standard."
"Nafrat ki aag ko mohabbat ke paani se bhujao.
#Emo",offer the fire of hate with water of love. #Emo
"mr .  pm  ,  great atmospahre to hoga hi .  .  .  . ",mr. prime minister there would be great atmoshpere
RT @8beedb8223a84e9 : And DDCA under Desh bhakt @arunjaitley stopped him for 1 year Kya raastravadi hai @narendramodi https://t.co/BQXQ7v…,rt @8beedb8223a84e9 : and ddca under loyal servant of country @arunjaitley stopped him for 1 year. nationalist @narendramodi https://t.co/bqxq7v…
sabke account me 15 lakh jama honewale the !,1.5 million were to be deposited in everyone's account!
Twitter raat ko TiTter me badal jata haipic.twitter.com/yynpg4YMEb,twitter turns into titter at night pic.twitter.com/yynpg4ymeb
"Modi Ji Syad Petrol Ki Century Karna Chate He Jab Ki Ushko Fifty Above Rukh Jana Chaiye ""Tha Per #GST Kab Lagega?",modi wants to make price of petrol to be 100 rupees.when would gst be applicable?
"@FaryalKBaloch Abhi main jo likh raha hoon wo Hindi hai, script Roman use karne se language Roman ya English nahi hoti. @versatified","@FaryalKBaloch what i am writing right now is hindi, the language is not roman or english by doing script roman @versatified"
Umar ho gayi hai 0 Shayad bhool gaye ho 0 2 months back riots killed people in Bashirhat 0 Tab Kahan thay Aap ? #TripleTalaq bachaa rahey thay ?,"maybe because of old age, you have forgotten that 2 months back riots killed people in basirhat. where were you at that time? were you saving them? #TripleTalaq"
@lmRo45 @6jhmk all the best rohit bhai ( y ) 50 kya .. 100 banana,"@lmRo45 @6jhmk all the best rohit. 50 won't work,you have to make 100."
"RT @nickhunterr : The speed of "" Bhai jaldi call kar balance nahi hai "" is faster than "" Mutualfundsaresubjecttomarketriskspleasereadtheofferdo","rt @nickhunterr : the speed of ""bro, i have no balance left in my mobile"" is faster than "" mutual funds are subject to market risks please read the offer do"
"tu pan mhanje kaay?
Mala saarvajanik samsung thevlay ka? Ekti ye mazya barobar ","what do you want?
who is this? "
@clued_up_chic Bolo kaha chalna hai?,@clued_up_chic say where to go?
Logo ka reaction dekhkar kucch separatist aur liberal daar kyu rahe hai ? Ek aur #Surgicalstrike ka daar sata raha hai kya #AmarnathYatra,why are some separatists and liberals afraid of seeing the reaction of people? is #AmarnathYatra fearing another #Surgicalstrike
Bolo naa kyaa karo salman ?,say no where to salman?
@ChorariaTaruna @abhishek4namo @ANI_news lagta hai @OfficeOfRG ka political #startup start hone se pehle hi bankrupt ho jayega . @INCIndia,@ChorariaTaruna @abhishek4namo @ANI_news it seems @OfficeOfRG political # startup will be closed before it starts. @INCIndia
Kya yaar @iamsrk kaise hai tumhare.. 5 min ho gaye abhi tak answer nahi de paayehttps://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/662195732057882624?s=09 …,what is it @iamsrk? how are you done .. it's already 5 minutes and you have not been able to answer yet https://twitter.com/bolshoybooze/status/662195732057882624?s=09 …
itni khusi kisi ko brbad krne k liye .  .,so much happiness to ruin someone. .
@Gott_Partikel kripaya gif bhej ke vodafobe customers ki beizzati na kare,@Gott_Partikel please do not insult vodafone customers by sending a gif
"Kunal ko chahe kitna bhi ladykiller dikhao "" uska hath kuchh aur hi bayan karta hai ..","no matter how much ladykiller kunal is shown to , his hand tells something else .."
paav kilo ke wazan mein kyu diet karna hai.,why to diet when your weight is very less.
"goodnight bots !  tomorrow remember 106 &amp; park ,  mobo twitter chat ,  and david letterman with @someUSER good day for the bots ! ","goodnight bots !  tomorrow remember 106 and park , mobile twitter chat , and david letterman with @someUSER. good day for the bots!"
aap gulaab jamun khao bas aur muh band rakho  @RanaAyyubpic.twitter.com/GnQE5dIQo3,you eat gulab jamun just and keep your mouth shut @RanaAyyubpic.twitter.com/GnQE5dIQo3
"happy valentine's day ,  artemis you remembered .  come on !  what kind of jerk would i be if i forgot valentine's day ? for the 5th year in a row ? ","happy valentine's day , artemis do you remember? come on ! what an idiot would i be if i forgot valentine's day for the 5th year in a row ?"
"but for me  ,  studying tax is a big deal right now :(","but for me , studying tax is a big deal right now"
The last Maharashtrian to hit 1000 (bhaiyyas) was Raj Thackeray.,the last maharashtrian to hit 1000 (brothers) was raj thackeray.
"mujhe bhi nahi samjha bhai, bas pel diya","i did not even understand brother, just wrote whatever i knew"
protractor aur set square table pe .  .  .  .  .  aieeeeeeeee,protractor and set square is kept on table. coming
#MaukaMauka Aaj milega Mauka ! Let the firecrackers begin . 300+ .. Dekh lena South Africa aur Pakistan . #bleedblue #IndvsSA #WorldCup2015,#MaukaMauka aaj will get a chance today ! let the firecrackers begin . 300+ .. see it yourself south africa aur pakistan . #bleedblue #IndvsSA #WorldCup2015
"@MeShivShakti Ohm namaha shivya , Happy mahashivratri , hope bholenath aapki sari manokamnaye poori kare , enjoy it .","@MeShivShakti  om namah shivaya, happy mahashivratri, hope bholenath fulfill all your wishes, enjoy it."
@ikaveri Ab whai jaaj thode hi chalayega sir.,"@ikaveri, now the jazz will run a little bit sir."
"@urbantucchha Agley show me milunga pakka.Kal socha sundar girls ko haath lagaane du apko & selfie khinchane du, apan to kabhi aur mil lenge",@UrbanTucha will meet you in the next show
chocolate nai diya re .  .  .,you didn't gave me chocolate
Bhai ki raat ki utar gayihttps://twitter.com/OfficeOfRG/status/804184407472881664 …,brother's night was removed https://twitter.com/officeofrg/status/804184407472881664 …
@Lala_The_Don Bahut ho gaya drama Nitish jee..Ab aapka jhoot ka parda uth gaya hai  #NitishKaNakliVikas,@Lala_The_Don enough drama nitish ji ... now your lie has been exposed
"Kuch ladke "" ladkiya hai jinhe #Badminton ke spelling tak nahi",there are some boys and girls who don't even know how to spell #Badminton
Bhai with his 2 bhai's and a behen.https://twitter.com/BeingSalmanKhan/status/804399737319194624 …,bro along with his 2 brothers and ome sister. https://twitter.com/beingsalmankhan/status/804399737319194624 …
@ketpan chor chor mausere bhai,@ketpan theifs are cousin brothers
Jalandhar jayega whisky ke saath to achha lagega!,we will go jalandhar with whiskey!
visvash ka ashleel bayaan or ab ye ghatiya pann .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .,the vulgar statement of viswash and now again he is behaving wrongly
@MeetUunngLee sachha pyaar log TL par confess nahi karte,@MeetUunngLee people who love each other truly don't confess at tl
@melotus Toh AAP common hi hai na? Hadh hai,"@melotus, are you common? is this intended"
@_SandSurfer me koi bhed bhav nahi rakhta,@_SandSurfer does not have any discrimination
"she said that some day soon ,  the sun was gonna shine .  and she .  .  . couldn't have been more wrong !  my valentine . ","she said that some day soon , the sun was gonna shine and she couldn't have been more wrong, my valentine ."
man ki bat ya dill ki bat......?,a matter of mind or a matter of heart?
@RidaMirza7 rasta dikhane ki,@RidaMirza7 showing the path
"Sahab logo ki #MannKiBaat sunne s accaha hai zaara apne party kaho karm karei faal k ichaa na karei #JantaSaabJanti hai "" wt for new change","instead of listening to #MannKiBaat of people, tell your party members to keep on working without thinking of being rewarded.#jantasaabjanti wait for new change"
High time .. start living yor life rather dn his ...!,it's high time to start living your life rather than his!
@Atheist_Krishna samaj gaya  @kinjealous,@Atheist_Krishna did you understand @kinjealous
@Ra_Bies Sir pootna theek hai ya nahi,@Ra_Bies sir is it right to pee here
Bharat Mata ki jai ' not open to debate : Amit Shah https://t.co/8wjuN3WlY9,"long live mother india, not open to debate : amit shah https://t.co/8wjun3wly9"
Never take a moral high ground. Wahan railing nahi hai aur kabhi bhi gir sakte hain.,never tech moral high ground. there is no railing and can fall anytime.
@dhaval241086 thanks Bhai :),@dhaval241086 thanks man
lovly &nice song ..salman.,"lovely and nice song, salman."
aur aap vo h jo is bar khane ke liye muh laplapa rhe h  .  .,and you are the one who is mouthing this time to eat.
Han bhaijaan jaisa aap kaho..best of luck for bajrangi bhai,ok bro as you say. best of luck for bajrangi.
@arunjaitley Sir kya mahine me ek bi bar bhar ni khane doge ya movie dekh e doge?? Islie vote dia tha!! Shi hai #GST,"@arunjaitley sir, will you eat once a month or do you watch movies ?? so was voted !! is right"
"@stupidusmaximus Mumbai chi dhadak, Aapla Ashish bhai kadak!! Happy birthday.",@stupidusmaximus our friend ashish is the best!! happy birthday.
sir .  .  chehre pr mat jaiye .  .  bahut nautanki baaj hai yeh launda .  .  :p,do not go in the face this boy is very gimmicky
"when there is a will  ,  there is a way ( y )","when there is a will , there is a way"
@dkrsingh6 @Ra_Bies kuchh bhi,@dkrsingh6 @Ra_Bies anything
"Hum aapko bata de ki aapne bahot achha naache hai, bas ek mistake hui hai...aapne jo lift kiya woh escalator ho sakta tha - Chetan Bhagat","let us tell you that you have done a very good dance, there is just a mistake ... the lift you did could have been an escalator - chetan bhagat"
#Demonitisation aur #gst ki failure ko tajmahal jaise muddo ke peeche chipa rhe hai pm sir #failuregoverment,"pm sir, #failuregovernment is hiding #Demonitism and #gst failure behind issues like taj mahal"
"@MeetUunngLee arre brother, woh tweet iske liye tha, tujhe toh bolne ki bhi zaroorat nahi hai  :P >----->> @premlata_rai","@MeetUunngLee hey brother, that tweet was for this, you don't even need to speak @premlata_rai"
Is this the South Africa we know ? Maang ke nahi cheen ke lenge #MaukaMauka India to break the jinx #CWC15,"is this the south africa we know ? will take it away, not on demand #MaukaMauka india to break the jinx #CWC15"
"Cngrts to VK "" Logo ko yaad rkhna chahiye sachin se bada koi criktr nhi hua pr vo bhi #WorldCup kabhi nhi jita paya "" baki aap smjdaar h #Dhoni","congrats so vk , people should remember that there is no cricketer bigger than sachin but he has never won #WorldCup #Dhoni"
@LaliJogan37 dosti bhi to itti saari hai :)  @witchybitchygal,@Lalijogan 37 friendship is also a lot @witchibitchygal
"Mann ki baat, selfie ke saath. #1YearOfModi","talk of contemplation, with selfie. #1YearOfModi"
bilkul! uska crime hi kya tha? bas 250 logon ko bomb se udvaya tha..https://twitter.com/airnewsalerts/status/626666864819707904 …,"sure! what was his crime? just 250 people were bombed, https://twitter.com/airnewsalerts/status/626666864819707904"
"@SemperFiUnited sab par haq mat jata, thode chhod de yahan bhi. Let's respect the bro codes!",@SemperFiUnited leave something to work. let's respect the bro codes!
"Shut up you Jihadi Sanghan 0 Abdul itna gussa kyu hain ""bhai #TripleTalaq ban hua hai is liye ?",shut up you anti-nationalist people.your are angry because of ban on #TripleTalaq
Khuda ka to khauf kha nadaanhttps://twitter.com/dna/status/696653831908753409 …,fear god you immature person https://twitter.com/dna/status/696653831908753409 …
"@Marwaari Jyoti
Jahnavi
Jugni
Josh
Jwala","@Marwaari jyoti
jahnavi
jugni
josh
jwala"
Jee bhar ke naach le baby champagne ke shower mein. Yaar tere ka fan minister baitha hai jo power mein. #MessageForMyCrush,dance with complete joy my dear as your fan minister is there in power #MessageForMyCrush
"Ye uske liye jo #UPElection 2017 jitega "" kyuki holi vhi celebrate krega n .",the person who wins #UPElection 2017 will only celebrate holi  .
"purani t-shirt phatne pa jo doormat bankar use hoti hai na, wohi odh lo",use the old t-shirt which is used as doormat after it get's torned
@Fuljhadii Melody se kaam nahi chalega,@Fuljhadii melody won't work here
@sonakshisinha Ek baar shatru sahab ki aawaz me Khamosh likhkar dikhao. #sonasays,"@sonakshisinha write ""kaamosh"" once in shatru sir's style #sonasays"
RT @MairaFaiz : @farahshafi1234 jub tak management aur team walay theek nahi hotay . Ek cricket thee woh bhi political hogai . Way to go #PCB …,"rt @MairaFaiz : @farahshafi1234 till the management doesn't become corrupt free, the most enjoyable game cricket will still be political.way to go #PCB"
to hum kya kare :p  .  .  .  chal dafa ho ab :(,what should we do about it.get lost !
bas kabhi bhi ghamand nahi kiya!,i never boasted about myself
@YoYoRahulGandhi na Jane aur kya kya paap niklenge Abhi #YoNitishSoTantrik,@YoYoRahulGandhi god knows what all sins will be revealed #YoNitishSoTantrik
"Kanhaiya - Humein chahiye.. Azadi. Hum le ke rahenge.. Azadi. 

Bhagat Singh - Woh teri bhabhi hai pagle.",kanhaiya - we want freedom. we will take it. bhagat singh - she is your sister-in-law
RT @alohomora0606 : Meko yeh samajh nahi aata ki kis angle se wo alien ek accha actor lagta hai ? I mean D3 was legendary😍 But D4 ? Hey Bhagwa…,rt @alohomora0606 : i don't understand from which angle does that alien looks good ? i mean d3 was legendary but d4 ? ohh god!!
@Prec0g Hai kaun woh pata karo yaar,@Prec0g find who is this person?
"Jb chunane ka aadhikr janta ko h to,jb unhe lage ke galat aadmi chuna gaya h to,5yr kyo sahe uske tanasahi,reject kre usa,isse neta janta k pirti jyda jimmadare honge.","if the right to elect the minister is given to public, if people think that wrong person has been elected, then public should be given right to throw away the minister before his 5 year term ends."
"Yeh hi galat kar diya Modiji ne, America aur England jaakar burger khana chahiye tha.https://twitter.com/firstpost/status/658552509720457216 …","modiji has done the same wrong thing, should have gone to america and england to eat burger, https://twitter.com/firstpost/status/658552509720457216 …"
RT @Thakurpops : @vaibysays hahahhaa chor ki daadi m tinka,rt @Thakurpops : @vaibysays A thief himself is pointing to others for robbery
"""Aaj 5000 baar signature karna pada""pic.twitter.com/5yTadqHLtA",today had to sign 5000 times pic.twitter.com/5ytadqhlta
"@melotus achha Sanskrit bhi aati hai tumko, waah",@melotus it's nice that you know sanskrit
Dhanyawad... Ab lautaney ke liye mere pass bhi kuch ho gaya :) https://twitter.com/greatdixit/status/723676854855557121 …,"thank you , now i have something to return too  https://twitter.com/greatdixit/status/723676854855557121"
@SrBachchan John jani janardan ... Tara rum pum pum,"@SrBachchan let us sing the song, ""john jani janardan tara rum pum pum"""
may apna kam khud hi kiya krti thi .  .  mujhe kvi ayse help nhi mila !  !  :/,i used to do my work myself. i never got help
"Hamein aur jeene ki khwahish na hoti, agar rum na hote...","we wouldn't have wanted to live any more, if you weren't there."
Pak Visa ka bhi sale chal riya sihttps://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/783991381681319936 …,pakistan visa also goes on sale https://twitter.com/ranaayyub/status/783991381681319936
chalo Ishq ladaye sanam?,"come on, let us make love"
"Idris, Wahid for biryani. Shekhawat, Tundey for kebabs. Raheems for nihari. Try kulfi and Makhan malai(if available)","idris, wahid for biryani. shekhawat, tundey for kebabs. raheems for breakfast. try kulfi and makhan malai(if available)"
@Mishi091_ yeah IA .. aur bhut accha decision tha Lala ko 6 overs phelay bhejne ka .. without pressure khela hai tu maza bhi aya,"@Mishi091_ it was a good decision to send ""lala"" 6 overs before.he played without pressure"
"@PagluPiggu matlab sab carriers aa gayi, sirf jio baaki hai","@PagluPiggu only jio is left, other all carriers are done"
@PushprajZala @DefucktiveHumor kuch pata nahi chala yaha kya ho gaya,@PushprajZala @DefucktiveHumor we didn't understood what happened here
"Shahrukh ki naiyya doobi waha..
Jaha Karan Johar ka bum tha https://twitter.com/Srkian_Ram/status/886803037578309632 …","shahrukh is in loss, wherever karan johar is present https://twitter.com/srkian_ram/status/886803037578309632 …"
@imVkohli --- well played virat bhaiya . What an outstandings innings played . Bharat Mata ki jai . keep it up bhaiya👍 .,@imVkohli --- well played virat .what an outstandings innings played . long live mother india. keep it up .
@NadeemfParacha sir kashmir se fursat mil jaye to ek nazar yahan bhi daal lein.https://twitter.com/Faiz_Baluch/status/634064157416030208 …,@NadeemfParacha sir kashmir se fursat mil jaye to ek nazar yahan bhi daal lein.https://twitter.com/faiz_baluch/status/634064157416030208 …
"Ice cream khaungi, kashmir jaungi, garmi se phatti padi hai piya. haah haah.",i will eat ice-cream and go to kashmir for a tour in order to tackle the scrotching heat
"Kitne #PoonamKiShadi karoge, har ghar se ek Poonam niklegi.",To how many men will you marry poonam #PoonamKiShadi
"Salman Khan Bail has prevented two news reports 

""Kya khaya pehli raat jail main Salman ne"" 

""Raat bhar karwat badalte rahe bhai""",salman khan bail has prevented two news reports
"@Mad_Mommy_ MOBILE NAHI HAI, LOVE SE THODA AATA HAI? ",@Mad_Mommy_  i don't have mobile but i know how to love
Inki jalan marham lagane par bhi nahi bhujegi.https://twitter.com/ShiningSitaara/status/740569957805621250 …,there is no end to his jealousy https://twitter.com/shiningsitaara/status/740569957805621250 …
@Kaminapun Toh mai kab mana kiya? :),@Kaminapun when did i denied about it
"Return gift me youtube ka link

- Dekh tere sansaar ki haalat kya ho gayee bhagwaan.. Kitna badal gaya insaan","return gift me youtube ka link - look what has happened to your world god, how much humans have changed"
"it's friday and the soul train is firmly parked in pri for the soul show on the radio ,  c'mon perth get your requests in for the next hour :)","it's friday and the soul train is firmly parked in pri for the soul show on the radio , common perth get your requests in for the next hour"
@MildlyClassic zyada talent pack ho gaya. Waste ho raha hai.,"@MildlyClassic a lot of talent in the bag, it is getting wasted"
Ahetuk ( 2015 ) Bengali Movie Mp3 Songs Album Download http://t.co/Nrm9xZf8cu,ahetuk ( 2015 ) bengali movie mp3 songs album download http://t.co/nrm9xzf8cu
"Tumhare paas hai har sawaal ka hal
Ab ki baar --> @tweeting_pal","you have solution to every question, this time @tweeting_pal"
@gauravs0001 @PriyancaBajaj bahot gadbad hai,@gauravs0001 @PriyancaBajaj something is wrong
Will Modi and Manohar Parrikar apologize to nation for fake Pak Boat ? #MahaShivratri Vyapam #BANvsAFG Pakistan Verna # Mumbai,will modi and manohar parrikar apologize to nation for fake pak boat ? #MahaShivratri #BANvsAFG pakistan # mumbai
Modi ji ki ambiguity bhi strategic hoti haihttps://twitter.com/minhazmerchant/status/779925218026401794 …,modi ji's ambiguity is also strategic https://twitter.com/minhazmerchant/status/779925218026401794 …
Diwali par China ka bikwane khud China ka Prez aaya hai https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/787190133942472704 …,china has come out to sell china on diwali. https://twitter.com/ani_news/status/787190133942472704 …
"@PoutedPinkLips sab milega, sabar rakho. Pehle mujhe rakho","@PotterPinkLips will get everything, keep patience. put me first"
isme me bhi galti world ki dhoondh nikali :)https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/750284092852150274 …,in this also he found a mistake in the world http://twitter.com/news/states/750284092852150274…
Shaam mein bhi kar ke kya pa lena hai?,what to do even in the evening?
congrats. Aaj se pahle mera bhi same tha. Kal try karna,congrats. before today i too had same. try tomorrow
"Mulgi shikli, pragati chi tar zhali ",developement takes place if we teach a women
@INCIndia #AnandSharma Bhaisahab KUCH BHI ? If can't express real emotions at least don't criticize ! #DontTagMeABhakt https://t.co/trQ0wLohZL,@INCIndia #AnandSharma bro anything ? if can't express real emotions at least don't criticize ! #DontTagMeABhakt https://t.co/trq0wlohzl
@ek_samosa_dena @BolshoyBooze saawan ke nadhe ko toh hariyali dikhti hai,@ ek_samosa_dena @ bolshoybuze sawan's side looks so green
@bits_bytes_ ye to andar ki baat hai @JhaSanjay,@Bits_Beats_ this is an internal matter @ jhansanjay
@Reviewero @shilpitewari ho jaayega. Sabr karo,@RevieVero will be @shilpiteveri. be patient
"isko kehte hein sachha pyar .  .  .  kohli ke 1 run ko dekhne ke liye ,  anushka india se sydney aayee thi .  .  .  :)","this is called true love. . . to see kohli's 1 run, anushka came to sydney from india. . . :)"
@gurmeetramrahim #MSGHumanityCamps Dhan Dhan Satguru Tera Hi Aasra Papa G,@GurmeterMarahim #Masghoomanitikampas dhan dhan satguru tera hi aasra papai
lol. aisa nahi hai,lol. it's not like this
Sab par ab janata janardan ka faisala ...,now the decision of janata janardan on everything ...
@ManishaFan Happy Mahashivratri .. manisha ji .. Aapke zivan me khusiya hi khusiya ho ..,@ manishfam happy mahashivratri .. manisha ji .. happiness in your life is happiness ..
"Main hamesha sach bolta hu, ache tweets ki kadar kisko hai magar? pic.twitter.com/4Co4qAsjEo","i always tell the truth, but who appreciates these tweets? back to twitter.com / 4 to 4"
Apki PA team ki watch kharab h shayad...4 toh baj gaye..:-(,your team's watch is bad: maybe ... 4 o'clock
"Kya karu main batao Sohni, mujhe tum jaisi ladki kyun nahi milti ladkiyan cab mein? ","what should i do, sohni, why don't i find a girl like you in a girls cab?"
"The Quint "" #Holi khelne se bacche aatankwaadi ban jaate hain ..!!!","the quint ""children become terrorists by playing #Holi .. !!!"""
@KajuBadamChor @kitAnurag nahi gatar main gir gaya tha,@Kajubdamchor @ disinfected had fallen into the gutter
Jitna log padmaavti movie ko ban karne m lage huye h utna agar ye log #rape karne walo k khilaaf hote toh #desh aaj kuch or hota..,the more people engaged in banning the padmavati movie: the more it would be if these people were against the people of #Rape #Today.
"Rakh himmat, bas chalde!","dare you, just go!"
RT @ClassicallyWild : Sharmaji ka beta isn't performing . Kohli ji ke bete ho dekhlo,rat @classicalveld: sharmaji's son s'inty performing. look at kohli's son
@Mojitowali tum bhi shy ho kya?,@Mojitwali are you also shy?
@Oinkoo OMG to yeh rishta pakka samjhun?,@Inkuong so do i understand this relationship?
@MeThePooh 2-2 diwali kismat waale hain bihar wale....  #GoodByeNitishKumar,@Mathepuh 2-2 diwali lucky people from bihar .... #GoodBenitishkumar
blue tick wale gaali bhi de toh pyara lagta hai logon ko. hain na @tweetfromRaghu? @Being_Humor @KyaUkhaadLega @RootKanal,"even people who abuse blue ticks, find it cute. not @ tweetfromragahoo? @ being_humor @Kuikhadalega @Rutkannall"
"@Therockstar8 @imcomplicated__ khoob kahan hai, sach baat hai ye.","@ theroxar 8 @ insomplicated__ where is it, it's true."
mere cmnt pe na koi like krta na rply aisa kyu :(,"nobody likes or likes on my comment, why :("
As a child I used to hear 'Husn-e-jana ki tareef mumkin nahi' as 'Usne jaana ki tareef mumkin nahi' in Afreen Afreen and it still made sense,sa a child used to hear 'hussan-e-jana's praise is not possible' as' he 'jana's praise is not possible' in afreen afreen and it still made sense
"When Karan Johar was born the doctors said, badhai ho... kuch toh hua hai, kuch hogaya hai","when karan johar was born the doctors side, congratulations… something happened, something happened"
nahi hai uss par :(,not on that :(
@Madan_Chikna Iska mall hai jo half illegal tha.. Police ne use gira diya.. Bohot humgama hua tha @RajExpressNews,@ madan_chikna is its mall which was half ilegal .. police dropped it .. there was a commotion @ rajexpresssnavus
@OnlyBabaSehgal dinner ke baad milegi kheer,@Olibabasehgal to get kheer after dinner
Peg peg pe likha hai peene wale ka naam.,pag pag has written the name of the drinker.
@Prachiekins cute hai yaar woh,@ParchinsCute is cute she
Lagi aaj saavan ki....,looks like monsoon today....
@Gurmeetramrahim #MSGdedicatesAwardToGuruji wow congratulations guru ji,@Gurmeetramrahim #MSGdedicatesAwardToGuruji wow congratulations guru ji
"Bahot paani tapak raha hai aaj, TL par, aasman se, aur... 
@BolshoyBooze @oxymoronic_mepic.twitter.com/8h5rqVPyt9","a lot of water is dripping today, at the bottom, from the sky, and @ bolshoivooze @oxymoronik_mepik.tvitter.com/8x5gvpit9"
@sadiatistic accha . akhon ghumanor try kor . onk rat hoise .,@Sadiatistic well. now try to sleep. lots of rats.
@Vyomnaut jo dikh raha hai wahi likha hai sir,@Vyomnaut what is visible is written sir
Aaj .. Aaj Ek Video Cal Kar lu ..,today .. today let's do a video call ..
"@AnubhaShukla7 Diya bujhne se pehle kafi bhdakta hai, wahi iske sath hai :D @AgentSaffron","@ anubhasukala7 lamp burns before it gets extinguished, same goes with it: d @AgentSafras"
@ek_samosa_dena Anna ko subah tak peene walee grahak mile nahi honge :-D,@ a_samosa_dena ana would not have found customers drinking till morning: -d
"kayi baar jaldibaji me andar ka sweter ulta phna ,   .  .  .  :-)","many times the inner sweater in haste, worn upside down. . . :-)"
saari chalk to pt shoes ko white karne me lag jaati thi .  .  :p,sari chalk used to take white shoes. . : p
@NikitaRajani1 sahi bol rahi hai..,@Nikitarajani1 is speaking right ..
@awk_doc haha.. Liberal padosi ghar aa gaye raat ke 2 baje.. Mummy papa se shikayat karne lage,@Incoming_Doc .: liberal neighbors came home at 2 o'clock .. mummy started complaining to papa
@hitherehereneve sun be tu jo bhi ho .. Meri dost @tweeting_pal se tameez se baat karna @iamGunjanGrunge @DramebaazKudi,@Hithereherenway listen be you whoever .. talking to my friend @tweeting_apple tamizh @timgunjanagarungay @dramebajakudi
@witchybitchygal hahahaa.. Supari ka zamana gaya.. Ab log sushi lete hai,@VichyBitchGal hahaha .. betel nut time gone .. now people take sushi
"Indians: Ghar ki murgi daal barabar

Spaniards: Ghar ki murgi Na-dal barabar

",indians: we don't repect things which we have spaniards: same here
Aye mere watan ke logon -> Vande matram -> Yeh joh desh hai mera -> azeem o shaan shahenshah -> Aunty police bula legi #IndependenceDay,people of my country -> vande mataram -> this is jo desh mera -> azeemo shan shahanshah -> aunty police will call #IndependenceDay
koe nie  .  .  .   .  bst of luck fo ua future  .  .  :),"no problem, best of luck for your future"
Dekhiye kaise #JNU mandali ne #FreedomofExpression ka majaq bana rakha hai ...,see how #JNU mandali made fun of #FreedomofExpression
link bhejo...hum bhi dekhein,sent link ... we also see
chalo #GST me 40% tak #Tax vasuli ho sakti hai .... pahle 28% tak thi,"come on, #Tast can have up to 40% #Tax collection .... previously it was up to 28%"
""" @sonalSalmanK : SA this time India didn't waste opportunity . Chauka bhi laga aur mauka bhi le kiya #IndvsSA ""","@SonalSalamanandak: sa this time india for the day. opportunity. it took a chowk and took the opportunity #indwassa"""
@ek_samosa_dena BC ashutosh ko kha gayee ??  @MasalaBai,@ ek_samosa_dena just ate ashutosh ?? @MuscleBai
RT @RoflGandhi_ : Kaunse gole se aaye ho bhaiyaa @imVkohli #IndvsAus,rat @ rofalgandhi_: countess gole se aaye ho bhaiya @Ivakohli #indavas
"Teacher: G se Goat, aur batao G se?
Student: G se dhundta hu main har kahin jo kabhi mili mujhe hai nahi mujhe jiske pyar par ho yakeen...","teacher: goat from g, tell another word from g? student: i look everywhere i have ever met, i do not believe whose love i have ... """
chalo tum insist kar hi rahe ho toh theek.,"come on, you are insisting it is fine."
@OyeMaria Hey bhagwan ... aaj #MahaShivratri hai ... aisi baatein naa karein plz ... im a brahmachari like modi ji :p,@ omria o lord ... today is #Mahashivratri ... please do not say such things ... i am brahmachari write modi:
Abhi dikha! Haha. Thanks darling!,just show! h thanks darling!
Liar. Kejriwal is Modi bhakt and use to sar pe baitha rakha hai tum logo ne.https://twitter.com/angryoungwoman/status/811858525680975872 …,liar kejriwal is this modi devotee and has kept him sitting on your head. you:
@Ra_Bies ye 10 hazaar baar RT ho toh bhi kam hai,@ ra_bs it is even less then 10 thousand times
"@Ra_Bies @Alllahdin mere taraf se ek gaana, bade jor se sunna issehttps://youtu.be/JrBgMHpmtcA ","@ ra_bs @Alladdin a song from me, loud loud sunna from itthatpus:"
"@friendlii_ghost ghumne se nahi milta, bhoot is not gay ","@ friendly_ghost doesn't get around, ghost is not gay"
@ArvindKejriwal @sharmanagendar sir kis jail mein dala hai have u asked . Tweet karne se accha hota @HMOIndia @BJPRajnathSingh se puch lete,"@ArvindKejriwal @Sharmanagender sir, in which jail he has been assassinated. it would have been better to have tweeted @Hamindia @Bjprajnath singh"
Rishi Sharma AAP TO DUDE NIKLE :P :D,"rishi sharma, you found out: p: d"
@RowdyTalks kabhi kabhi to emo pelte hai.. Usme bhi,@Roditox sometimes emo flies .. in that too
ye bhi kafi hai :),that's enough too :)
India me 40% log naashte me outrage khate hai..,40% of people in india say breakfast in breakfast ..
abki baar guddu ke ghar tindey nahi bane  ?  :d,did guddu's house not become tinday this time? : d
@EngineeRoholic nahi mil raha,@Enginiroholic not getting
sharma ji ka launda aaj pit hi gaya .  .  :d,sharma ji's friend got beaten up today. . : d
@akshaykanitkar Matlab teer seedha nishaane par laga hai.. haha @Ra_Bies @HathwalaThakur,@AkshayKanitkar means the arrow crosses straight ..
"@Arunapk57 achhi nahi mil rahi hai, sab out of stock hai :(","@ arunapakh 57 not getting good, all out of stock is :("
"Hahaha.. I'd rather stay unmarried than saying ""Mujhe tumse pyaar hai.""","hahaha .. mr. dee rather stay unmarried than saying ""i love you."""
"Hahaha abhi to qualify bhi nahi hui hai, Wenger hoga toh nahi jeetenge, agar Wenger hatt gaya phir to agle 4 saal tak nahi jeetenge!","hahaha not even qualified yet, wenger will not win, if wenger withdraws then he will not win for next 4 years!"
Aajkal koi fight bhi nahi karta. Kahan mar gaye sab?,nowadays nobody even fight. where have all died?
@hankypanty jao ji sharm aati hai,"@Hankipanti, you are ashamed"
"tumlog dono ne same brand bhi khareeda hoga, waise tu usse zyada Raees hai aaj ke time par. Shakal se bhi! x-D","both of you must have bought the evening brand as well, although you are more rich than it is today. even with face! x-d"
"Salman bhai,kabhi aap samne miljao na,toh jarur apke gale laag jaunga,,taab mera v kick laag jayegi,,,","salman brother, never meet me in front of you, you will definitely hug me, you will get beat,"
aisa hee huaa thaa last match me .  . kamar toot gayee aadhe sofe par latke hue lekin himmat thee ko koi hilaa ho .  .,"this is who i am. general chat chat lounge hanging on the couch on the back of my waist, but no courage to dare. general chat chat lounge"
@akhil_bits ye chaal thi  @retardedwriter,@Achil_Bits what a very thi @ retardeddriver
@twinitisha facebook pe abhi sab diwali mana rahe hai,@Twenitisha celebrating all diwali on facebook right now
bhai phir se tu u turn lega 15february ko .  .  .  meko sab pata h .  .  bolega ki janta nahi chahti thi ki hum 15th february ko shapath le ,)
"Body language of Sonia Gandhi : Restless and Uneasy "" Bas kar Modi ab aur Bardasht nahi hota "" #SuperBudget","body language of sonia gandhi: restless and not ""modi can't afford no more"" #SuperBuzz"
@ek_samosa_dena Waah Waah ... Ustaad Mashya Haglya!,@ek_samosa_dena waah waah ... ustaad mashya haglya!
@twinitisha kab reply nahi kiya tumhe?,@Twenitisha when did you not reply?
@tweeting_pal wow.. Dulabh jagaho par hi bade bade devi devatao ke darshan hote hai.. Hum to dhanya ho gaye aapka mention paa kar,@Twitting_Pal vao .. visions of great gods and goddesses are seen in rare places .. we are blessed to have received your mentions.
ye sirf yahan ke liye limited hai :),it's limited here only
"Twitter pe hi solve karlo sab ""bhai outdoor waise bhi safe nhi aur ab to idhar #280charcters bhi hain. #smogindelhi","solve all on twitter ""brother outdoor is not safe anyway and now there are also # 280 characters here. # smogindelli"
Matlab yahan par apni behen ko kyu ghusana hai? https://twitter.com/pigeonladyX/status/753245590767665153 …,meaning why do your sister have to enter here? http: //twitter.com/pizonnalyx/states/753245590767665153…
"Dhoni to Bangladesh: ""Bura na maano Holi hai"" #IndvsBan","dhoni to bangladesh: ""older mano holi hi"""
"@imcomplicated__ Ye reshmi zulfein, ye sharbati aankhein. Inhe dekh kar ji rahe hai sabhi <3 :-*","@ insomplicated__ these silken hairs, these sweet eyes. all are living by seeing them <3: - *"
achha BC abhi jisko maine abhi jawab diya?,okay just to which i just replied?
ShivSena ko aisi harkate . n Shobha ' Dey'ti hain kya ?!!? #CelebNovels,shocked sena. neither does shobha 'day'ati? !!? # celebanowels
@daddy_san @ramprasad_c das joote khate hain humse phir bhi mera photo utha let hain lulz,"@ daddy_sam @ ramprasad_s eats ten shoes, still lulz take my photo from us"
@mamtan14  malai and khopra laddoo  bhi haipic.twitter.com/YIq16A3iaq,@Mantan14Malai & khopra laddoo too hypic.twitter.com / iq16
"Bhai ko haathi bola! 
Hawwhttps://twitter.com/sallufan2712/status/750975632381710336 …",you called my brother elephant!! https://twitter.com/sallufan2712/status/750975632381710336 …
abhi ghr pe hu but thodi der baad going to ofc .  .  . :-(,but now i am at home going after a while
"Abhijeet: Doctor sahab, kal shaam se pait bahut kharab hai.
Doctor: Bahar se kuch khaya kya?
Ahhijeet: Ji...Gaaliyaan.","abhijeet: doctor, stomach is very bad since yesterday evening. doctor: did you eat anything from outside? abhijeet: yes, abusive words"
@gunnithan ek topic jaanna tha!,@ gunanitana wanted to know a topic!
@OyeMaria Accha . Can wait till then for sure . Itni bhi koi jaldi nahin hai 😆,@OyeMaria accha. can wait till then for sure. itni bhi koi jaldi nahin hai ðÿ˜ †
"Modi ji #TripleTalaq ko Religious daayare mein dekne k liye aap kub kalma pad k Islam Qubul kare?! Rajneeti aap kar rahe ""ho sudar jawo aap","modi ji to submit #tripletalk in the religious realm, you accept qub kalma post islam?! rajneeti you are ""ho beautiful javo you"
@WatDaDuck_ Toote dhanush ke neeche rakhi thi. :D,@Talker_ broken bow or keep it down. : d
@floydimus Aculy Vimal Pan Masala : Daane daane mein 'kesar' ka dumb,@floydimus aculy vimal pan masala: daane daane me kesar 'dumb
body banane gayee ho ?,have you made a body?
"Jitne Tan-Mann se karni sena padmavati ko virudh kar rahi hai waise hi.. Woh desh mai hote ""corruption ""Rape naxalite activities n pak related chejo ka Virudh karti toh aur aacha lagta #padmaavat #KarniSena","jitne tan-mann se karni sena padmavati ko virudh kar rahi hai waise hi .. woh desh mai hote ""corruption"" rape naxalite activities n pak related chejo ka virudh karti toh aur aacha lagta #padmaavat #KarniSena"
RT @lsunil : MahaShivratri ki shubh kamnaye RT He is Ardhanarisvara . Nandalal Bose . 1942 . http://t.co/PWq7vBxWVd,"rat @lasunil: happy mahashivratri wishes, ardhanarishwar. nandlal bose. 1942. http: //t.co/pv7"
Koey baat nahi abhi bee Game 0n haa #Pakistan kee #WT20,there is no game for the # 0 wt20 #Pakistan
Naam hai ya Shayari?https://twitter.com/narendramodi/status/804911464569937920 …,is the name or poetry? http: //twitter.com/narendramodi/states/804911464569937920…
Bhaijan ak hi hain.....SALMAN......,bhaijaan is same ..... salman ......
.@NavenduSingh_ Bhai har journalist ko nautanki pasand nahi aati. @thesuniljain @ArvindKejriwal,. @ navendusingh_bhai not every journalist likes gimmick. @Thesuniljine @ arvindkejriwal
@WaggishNushki haar jeet to chalti rehti hai,@Waggilishkti defeat keeps on winning
"*Evening*

Kumar Bakwas: Aaj bohot thak gaya..
Wife: Kya kiya aaj aisa
Kumar Bakwas: Bacha hua saara #RaitaFailaDiya","kumar bosh: today i am so tired . wife: what did you do today kumar bosh: leftover sarah #RightFieldia """
"PA - Jio sim ki ad Modi ne kari

Tim Cook - Hum iPhone7 ke liye Obama ko sign karte hai

PA - bad idea, Obama se achcha hai Kejriwal ko karo","pa - jio sim ad was done by modi
&
tim cook - we sign obama for iphone 7
&
pa: bad idea, do kejriwal better than obama "
@Ra_Bies Sir aapne iss layak samjha hume  @coolfunnytshirt @KyaUkhaadLega @The_Sleigher @Being_Humor,@Ra_bs sir you thought we deserved it @kulfunnitsahirat @kukhadlega @the_slagahar @ being_humer
@forwardshortleg @rootofall3vil @srinivyasan @c_aashish @shiv_shahapur no I think dhoni needs to bowl wala zyada ho gaya.,"@ForwardShortleg @Rituphalal3Will @Srinivyasan @Saashish @Shiva_Shapur, i think dhoni needs is more like a bowl."
@coolfunnytshirt iski jaanch honi chahiye @OpIndia_com @bhak_sala,@ kulfunnitsuhrat it should be investigated @opindia_com @ bhak_sala
@Ojasism sab Ambani ka kamal hai,@Ojsisam is all ambani's awesome
@lack_a_daisy pallu nahi hai? kaha gaye sanskaar #shameful,@Lack_Da_Daisy is not pallu? said rites
mujhe to individually sabko wish karna padta tha  .  .  . aur das baar staff room me jana padta tha :(,i had to wish everyone in the university. . . and had to go to the staff room ten times :(
tharak ka fir bhi hai. Narrow thinking ka nahi hai @KameeniChhori,even then. @Kaminochori is not of narrow thinking
last part me guddu chasma khana se laga leta hai garbage bin :d :d,"in the last part, guddu gets consumed by eating chasma garbage bin: d: d"
@LogicalBakwaas mere liye naya hai,@Logikalbakwas new to me
"Aaj koi bhi jeet lo, World Cup to India hi jeetegi! #NZvSA","if anyone wins today, only india will win the world cup! #News"
@Miss_Ankiita tere paas ganna hai ?,@Miss_ankita do you have sugarcane?
@MeetUunngLee @Dishasatra aap hot hai bhai. Modest na bano,@ meetunangali @ dishastra you are hot brother. don't be the modest
"Friday Faking Release: Dhokha (*ing Rita Bahuguna Joshi, Amit Shah, Rahul Gandhi) http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/pics/friday-faking-release-dhokha-ing-rita-bahuguna-joshi-amit-shah-rahul-gandhi-17941 … #Re","friday faking release: dhokha (* ing rita bahuguna joshi, amit shah, rahul gandhi) http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/pics/friday-faking-release-dhokha-ing-rita-bahuguna-joshi-amit- shah-rahul-gandhi-17941… #Re"
@khan_subhendu kabhi soncha hain aise bhi lag sakti hain vaat?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI&feature=youtu.be … #LagGayiVaat Shine,"@Khan_Subhendu, have you ever imagined that this can happen? http: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4f9t6ory&feature=youtube.be…"
Jon Snow is not dead. Reminds me of Kyon ki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi.,jon snow is not dead. rumindus also had a daughter-in-law of off kyon.
@witchybitchygal wais to sari achhi hain par third wali photo mein full swag hai :),@witchybichigal vices are so good but the third photo is full swag :)
kal hi mera exam hai :'(,tomorrow is my exam
To sab jagah sey experience ley liya #aachakiya .. ab yahin sey khareedo #flipkart :),so you took the experience from all over the place #aachakiya. now buy from here #flipkart
@YearOfRat @Alllahdin Pakistan Murdabad. Hindustan Zindabad. Aai chi Jai.,@YearOfRat @Alllahdin pakistan go to hell. hindustan live long.
sawal delhi ka nahi nation ka hai .,it's not about delhi rather it's about the country
Oye tu kyu badi badi baate karra hi...... Pagal ho kya...,"come on, why are you talking big, are you crazy?"
Sad to say that our @rajnathsingh sirf kadi ninda karte hai aur @RashtrapatiBhvn #dadri #JNU #du ke baare mein bolte hai lekin yaha chuppi ?,sad to see that our @rajnathsingh only condemns and talks about @RashtrapatiBhvn #dadri #JNU #du but here is standing silent ?
bad times when u missed waterloo road last thursday when in tenerife and dont realise it was the last episode :( #notfair,"bad times when u missed waterloo road last thursday and when in tenerife you dont realise it is the last episode, #notfair"
@Nirmalogy Hahaha. saala tv se dekh ke likhne me bhi galat likh diya..,@Nirmalogy hahaha. he wrote wrongly even after copying from t.v
@sailorsmoon Haha.. Very good joke.. ek aur suna na bhai,@sailorsmoon haha. very good joke. Tell me one more brother
"In this hot summer , do netas and hapless citizens really have to go through rallies , yatras , speeches for votes ? Don't performance count ?","In this hot summer , do leaders and hapless citizens really have to go through rallies, processions , speeches for votes ? doesn't performance count ?"
didi kaha ho aajkal ?,where do you live nowadays sister ?
Kuchh to diya hain Hussey ne Pollard ko #MIvsCSK,hussey has given something to pollard #MIvsCSK
"Gulzar: Lagta hai aaj tum phir Imam se milkar ayi ho
Rakhi: Hey bhagwan, aisa kyon bola
Gulzar: Teri baton mein Imam ki khushboo hai",gulzar : It seems that you have again met Imam today and returned.  rakhi: oh my god! what is the reason behind saying that     gulzar: your words contain imam's fragrance.
Yaar ye bade chor hai yaar :(,he is a thief
aree guddu to blkul mujhpr hi gya hai…hahaha lolzz ! !,guddu contains the qualities i have.
@akshaykanitkar LOL! Tujhe ye links kahan se mil jaate hai?,@akshaykanitkar where do you get these links from ?
hahaha without any tension :p :v,without any tension.
hahaha bichare kutiyo . . . le lo apne phatake . . . tumhare paas dunia ka best batsman he to hamare paas dunia ka best captain n wicket keeper he :d,"poor dogs. take your bombs, if you have the world's best batsman then we have world's best captain and wicketkeeper."
@Jal_Kukdi hahaha gajab drama ho raha hai aaj to.,@Jal_kukdi there is a lot of drama happening today.
Last time Fardeen Khan ko No Entry me dekha tha. Police wale challan kaat rahe thay!,Last time i saw fardeen khan in the no entry area. the police fined him.
"tu Rajesh hone ke bawajood, main tujhe Rajeshwari jaise treat karta hu. Thoda toh izzat de bhai","in spite of you being rajesh, i treat you like rajeshwari. give me some respect "
@akshaykanitkar गू गल कर ले @ndtv,@akshaykanitkar google it @ndtv
Bhai har baar handle ke aage dot lagana zaroori nahi haihttps://twitter.com/EconomicTimes/status/675564905701896192 …,"brother, there is no need to put dot in front of the handle every time https://twitter.com/EconomicTimes/status/675564905701896192 …"
@iamGunjanGrunge Bus aab baat ladki pe aagayi ! tu bhai hai na mera !! yaad hai na! Ladki to aati jaati rahengi !! :) @hitennarendra,@iamGunjanGrunge and now the talk comes on the girl! you are my brother! you remember right! girls come and go! @hitennarendra
"community , cougar town , friday night lights , glee , mad men , modern family , six feets under , skins , terra nova o the wire ? ? ?","community , cougar town , friday night lights , glee , mad men , modern family , six feets under , skins , terra nova or the wire?"
#136 : RK ko to bahut pahele demolish karna chahiye tha ... Naya road banne ke baad bhi kitna din road ko block karke chal raha tha ...,#136 : RK should have been demolished long back. in spite of finishing the new road they are blocking the road
"Dekho bhai aap instagram par filters aur snapchat par kutton wali pic lagao, it's aww sho cute",look brother apply filters in instagram and put the dog type picture on snapchat. it's aww so cute.
@pawan_kulkarni1 kai logo ke sath to bat karne se bhi dar lagta hai,@pawan_kulkarani1 he is even shy to talk to people
primavera fixture list - milan primavera begin their campaign on august 25th at cesena and end it on april 27th at s . . . http/URL,primavera fixture list - milan primavera begin their campaign on august 25th at cesena and end it on april 27th at . http/URL
@ek_samosa_dena @friendlii_ghost @zoomphatak Bhai log kal aajao Gokul 7 baje?,"@ek_samosa_dena @friendlii_ghost @zoomphatak brothers,  gokul at 7 tomorrow ?"
@AdvancedMaushi Toote hue dil se bas aansu aur shayari nikalti hai @oxymoronic_me,@AdvancedMaushi tears and proverbs come out of a broken heart @oxymoronic_me
@GadhviLaxman hahaa baat to sahi hao @iamkits,@GadhviLaxman the talk is right @iamkits
@twinitisha Nahi.. Sirf jab tumhari yaad aati hai.. Oh wait..That means roz,@twinitisha no. only when i think about you. oh wait. that means everyday.
"Doston , bhaiayon or bahno meri sarkar aayegi to 1year ma 3cr berojgaron KO naukri dunga ... he he # _","friends, brothers and sisters. if my government comes to power then within 1 year i will provide jobs to 3 crore unemployed people."
@akshaykanitkar @MeetUunngLee are waah badhai @bhaiyyajispeaks,@akshaykanitkar @MeetUunngLee Oh! congratulations @ bhaiyyajispeaks
Lagta hai jaise jamana beet gaya par 3:30 nai hone wale aaj !!!,seems time has passed but it is never going to be 3:30 today
"mere dimaag se nahi utraa hai ye, kal office mein suna diya kuch logon ko!","i cannot take it out of my head. yesterday, i had scolded some people in the office."
@GabbbarSingh bahar niklo toh metro ka kaam chalu hai,@GabbbarSingh if u come out the metro work is going on 
#TripleTalaq Pe ban Bahot jaruri he Aaj ke zamaane me ... Galat Fayda utha rahe he Aaj kal ke log iska ...,it is important to bane #TripleTalaq nowadays ... nowadays people use it for their own advantage
ham Bihariyo k liye ek aur sadma lag gaya h Ab UPSC k liye #GST bhi padna padega. Mudi should resign #gstrollout,The biharis are again jolted that now for giving upsc they have to also study about #GST. modi should resign #gstrollout 
koi mujhe batayega ye red wali player ka kya naam hai ? ? ? ?,can anyone tell what is the name of that red player ?
@Fussy_Ca haan tab Pradhan Mantri Rahat Kosh me jama kara dunga,@Fussy_ca yes then i will give it to the prime minister relief fund.
#INDvWI Aaj to india team aur dhoni per bhi #GST ka asar dikh rha h,#INDvsWI we can witness that the indian team and dhoni are also facing the #GST effect
"Pakistani trolls be like "" Bhai ab pant bhi khol du kya "" 😁😁 #IndvsPak https://t.co/T7iFYy4V8a","pakistani trolls be like ""should i now take off my pants also"" #IndvsPak"
kahan se le aate ho ye sab?,where do you get all these from ?
internet pe hu bc . how can you expect me to be awesome ?,I am on the internet. how can you expect me to be awesome ?
kyuki india team se iska patta katne wala hai . . . .,because he is going to get dropped from the indian team 
#movienight tomorrow at the student union @ 8pm the movie will be safe house ! #teamuapb,#movienight tomorrow at the student union. @ 8pm the movie will be safe house ! #teamuapb
North Korea ke Kim Jong Un #KejriwalDiwas manate huepic.twitter.com/qLQJjraoPV,kim jong kun of north korea celebrating #KejriwalDiwas huepic.twitter.com/qLQJjraoPV
@BerozgaarAbhi aaj tak pe dikhaya tha,@berozgaarAbhi  till today he showed in 
"Rote huwe aate hai SAB.
#Deep",everyone cries while coming #Deep
@sardesairajdeep bhagwan kare tuje Jail bahut jaldi naseeb ho .... KUTTE,@saedesairajdeep i pray god that you get jailed as soon as possible ... bitch 
"@iMademoiselle Fark nahi padta, woh toh tu this isiliye bol diya, delete kar na kar jo kuch kar!","@iMademoiselle doesn't make a difference, that is why you told it. do whatever you want"
Enjoy krlo humare paise se ...world tour waw. .....,enjoy with our money. go to a world tour.
@MildlyClassic Sir pls udhaar de do 1 din ke liye.. Aapke paas to 8-10 hai,@MildyClassic sir please lend me for 1 day. you have 8 - 10 
"aaja, sarkaar gira denge","come on , we will bring the government down "
.@ashutosh83B bhai pareshaan mat ho.. Access le janapic.twitter.com/D6NhmDgewj,@ashutosh83B do not be tensed brother. take the access janapic.twitter.com/D6NhmDgewj
This is frustrating now. Out karo yaar raavan ki sena ko. Jai Shri Ram.,this is frustrating now. take the ravana team out. jai shri ram 
mene phle bhi bola tha . . . ye guddu bigadtaa ja raha hai . . . samjhao koi ese . . ! ! !,i have told you before too . guddu is becoming naughty. someone please make him understand.
"@91mishraprachi haha, finals toh phir bhi hai","@91mishraprachi haha, we still have the finals"
"Haan bhai, Ind vs Pak ho jaaye toh yahan zaroor aana aap. Jashn ki taiyaari hogi",yes brother . when ind vs pak happens you should definitely come. we will arrange for a festival
aaj rajpath par itni security hai ki logo ko apne ghar se tho kya apni rajaai se nikalne ki bhi aanumati nai hai . . . .,"the security in rajpath is so tight that not only from the house, people are not coming out of their blankets"
"sir ji ek sach bolu , kirn ji aap se accha feak leti hai ! !",can i tell you the truth sir. kiran ma'am throws better than you 
@premlata_rai Bach kar rehna! Dangal ho sakta hai aise sab cheezon se!,@premlata_rai be careful ! a fight can take place due to all these things !
"long drive too kentucky tomorrow hopefully gonna get the big buck we caught on cam , at least we got @someUSER playing in the chevy ! &lt;3","long drive too kentucky tomorrow. hopefully going to get the big buck we caught on camera, at least we got @someUSER playing in the chevy ! "
count day tomorrow shouldnt even go ! winans is crazy -_-,count day tomorrow shouldnt even go ! winans is crazy 
"i really have to find my dress for saturday . i may have to go with plan b dress , which is fine too .","i really have to find my dress for saturday . i may have to go with plan b dress , which is fine."
@TheDilliMirror Gareeb Guy nahi tu Gareeb Gay hai,@TheDilliMirror you are not a poor guy. you are a poor gay 
Ye koi ladki kabhi nahi bolti. </3,she never tells she is any other girl
"Haha, haan bahot alag si feeling aati hai achhi baatein likhte waqt, sobriety ki maa di..",haha. yes we get a good feeling when we write words. 
Bahot sahi! Kal ke match ka kya plan hai? Match dekha jaaye?,great ! what is the plan for match tomorrow? do we go and watch the match?
@friendlii_ghost saale Airtel pe chala gaya to aise majak udayega ab? Yaad nahi pichhla saal?,@friendliii_ghost you use airtel now so you tease like that ? don't you remember last year?
"Ghar ja ammi bula rahi hai, tere chappal chori ki complaint kari hai rukhsar khaala nehttps://twitter.com/DekhBilal/status/711111293713960960 …","mom is calling you , go home. rukhsar's aunt has given complaint of your slippers being stolen."
Hello Arvind Bhai.. Mera naam Salim hai Salim..and Salim anagrams to Islam.. Ab iss baat ko hype karke vote kamaenge https://twitter.com/Atheist_Krishna/status/560346590850740224/photo/1pic.twitter.com/1nx7WD4RDb,hello arvind brother . my name is salim  and salim anagrams to islam . using this strategy we can get votes.
"tum log mujhe jealous kar rahe ho - ye iin college ka kya "" inn "" side joke hain ? hum toh sirf itna chahate hain ki baaratio ka swagath pan parag se ho . :-)","you are making me jealous. these colleges . is ""these"" a side joke ? i just want, in baraat, people welcome  "
bahot zyada achha hai Chelsea se.,too good from chelsea 
"Ye #Trump ke Kaan mei Bta rkha hai "" agla deal USA se hai 0",it has been told in #Trump 's ear. next deal is with USA
"Umeedein kam ho toh khushi bhi zyada hoti hai ""@FirstpostSports: Pakistan 12/0 (4) - This is now their best opening partnership""","when expectations are less happiness is more ""@FirstpostSports : Pakistan 12/0 (4) - This is now their best opening partnership"""
@Roflindian @sagarcasm Yeh under ki baat hai.,@Roflindian @sagarcasm. the talk belongs to under
"aunty, sabkuch boring hogaya hai life mein aajkal. Phun is missing :(","aunty, everything is boring nowadays. fun is missing "
@nycgirl_nikki23 mere saath to kabhi nahi kiya,@nycgirl_nikki23 you never came with me.
"bhaag to tum rahe ho, kuch dimagi taklif?",it is you who is running. you have any brain problem?
Ek chakke par itni khushi? Tumhare paas toh 11 hai team mein.,so happy for one six ? you have 11 members in the team 
Apne muje reply kiya to 'aj ki party meri taraf se',if you reply me then today's party from my side.
@AndColorPockeT ek saal ho gaya yaha,@AndColorPockeT it has been one year
"@someUSER 13th . there is no android device worth buying outside of the nexus line , in my opinion . especially not the galaxy s line",@someUSER 13th . there is no android device worth buying outside of the nexus line. in my opinion . especially not the galaxy 's line
Wicket lena #CongressMuktBharat se bhi zyada zaroori ab,taking a wicket now is more important than #CongressMuktBharat
@pranavsapra dhanyawaad bhai :),@pranavsapra thank you brother.
"Ye photo mein achha lag raha hai, bas ladki par taras aaraha hai.https://twitter.com/vickylullaa/status/748122486479294466 …",you are looking good in this photo. im just feeling sad for the girl. https://twitter.com/vickylullaa/status/748122486479294466 … 
@tweeting_pal lo aap jalebi khaopic.twitter.com/BvAkC7vfI3,@tweeting_pal you eat the jalebi pic.twitter.com/BvAkC7vfI3
@Arunapk57 woah! Aapan Marathi?,@Arunapk57 woah! you are marathi?
@someUSER haha brilliant ! ! morning katie . . . happy friday ! bodg loves the drawing of him ! m,@someUSER haha brilliant!! morning katie .. happy friday! body loves the drawing of him!
Abe 7 footiya - daud ke hi aa jaata to ball jaldi pahuchti !!! Lol ( not that I mind ! ) #IndvsPak,"hey 7 foot - even if you would have run and come, the ball would have reached faster!!! lol (not that i mind !) #IndvsPak "
anna bhi aap me shamil hogaye . imandari koi nahi sab politics me entry marke lutna chahate hai .,brother also got included with you. there is no honesty. everyone wants to join and politics and rob.
bahut wt kiya aur nahi....bye...gussa hu app sa,i have waited for a long time. can't wait anymore. bye. i am angry on you.
kaha ho vai...kuch batao...kaise ho.....,where are you brother. tell something. how are you.
esa nahi hai yaar ladkio k b game hote hai tetris lagao . . . . :p,not like that. girls too have games. let's play tetris.
@DiwakarKothari_ shaant ho ja DK. Tere gusse ki garmi se Tanmay ka gubbara phat jaega..Duniya pe pralay aa jaega @HathwalaThakur @thetanmay,@DiwakarKothari_ calm down dk. your anger would burst tanmay's balloon. the world will experience a holocaust.
Sanjay Dutt in Vaastav:,sanjay dutt in truth:
@witchybitchygal KXIP wale Sunny ko hi dekh rahe hai.. Match haarne wale hai @Ra_Bies,@witchybitchygal KXIP are watching only sunny. we are going to lose the match @Ra_Bies
"Dono families puri ki puri yaha hain Ranveer-Deepika, shaadi kar lo mandap accha laga hua hai free me kaam ho jayega.","all the members of both the families are here ranveer-deepika. the mandap is good, so get married for free"
@LEDtvn hasi ke liye nahi tha..,@LEDtvn that was not for laughter 
Jio ne march tak ka kyun free rakha ?,why did jio make it free till march ?
new die hard movie coming out feb 14 . . looks like bruce willis is going to be my valentines date:o),new die hard movie coming out feb 14. looks like bruce willis is going to be my valentine date
"Aankheiin taras gayi thi ye padne, kudos!",my eyes were craving to read this. kudos!
@Champ_Nikk kuch galat to nahi bola @ShirishKunder,@Champ_Nikk did i say anything wrong. @ShirishKunder
dr . mohamed morsi announced as egypt's first elected president after the glorious 25th of jan revolution . .,dr.mohamed morsi announced as egypt's first elected president after the glorious 25th jan revolution.
@NotSoNautankee aaj ki party meri taraf se,@NotSoNautankee today's party  from my side.
@Mad_Mommy_ bas kisi ke saath kuch achcha mat hone dena.. Ladki khud aage chal kar WA pe add kar rahi hai.. Tujhe kya problem @Zugambi,@Mad_Mommy_ don't let any good happen by anyone's hands. the girl is coming by her own and adding. what is your problem @Zugambi
Do se upar article dikhaoon? Bas haan bol bhai. phir dekhte hain kaun kya hai @postcard_news,should i show article above two? just say yes. then we will see who is what @postcard_news
"sab fevicol ka jod laga k baith jaate hain , india k match k samay mein . . . . :d :d",everyone apply fevicol and sit when india's match is going on 
Hi @tweeting_pal baby bhool gayee kya mujhe ?,Hi @tweetin_pal baby did you forget me? 
tum jaise log to unhi ko support karenge jinhone #SurgicalStrike par sawaal uthae .,people like you support those people who question on #SurgicalStrike.
"sabko kamaane hai, naya bolo","everyone wants to earn, tell something new "
"mizzou commemorates its win over kentucky with a t-shirt . no , really . | dr . saturday - yahoo ! sports http/URL #fb","mizzou commemorates its win over kentucky with a t-shirt . no,really. dr.saturday - yahoo! sports http/URL #fb"
salman bhai am ur big fan.... am from paaaakkkiiissstan.... plzzz plzzzzz plzz plzzzz rply me one time..... plzzzzz waiting,salman brother i am your big fan. i am from pakistan. please please please please reply me one time. please i am waiting.
ticket prices go up friday ! get your tickets tomorrow ! ! at the murphy center ticket office ! you don't wanna miss this years #mtsustepshow,ticket prices go up on friday! get your tickets tomorrow ! ! at the murphy center ticket office! you don't wannt to miss this year's #mtsustepshow
last years project churao dusting karo naya naam likho jama karo ache number pao ! ! aur haan ghar se project ke paise lena mat bhoolo ! ! !,last year's steal the project do dusting write a new name collect it get goo numbers !! and don't forget to get the project money from home.
@ChickenBiryanii arre waah.. Mujhe to pasand bhi hai @divyadutta25 @SRKswarrior1,@ ChickenBiryanii waah! .. i even like it  @divyadutta25 @SRKswarrior1
.@narendramodi sir big fan. dunia-daari thik hai lekin thoda desh ke local issues par bhi dhyan dijiye.,@narendramodi i am your big fan. the big world is fine but kindly take care of the local issues too.
@OdedraJagdish doosri bar dekh raha hu k,@OdedraJagdish i am looking it for the second time ok 
Bahut khoob bahut khoob bahut khoobhttps://twitter.com/MyVoiceOpIndia/status/787588977419104256 …,very goo very good very good https://twitter.com/MyVoiceOpIndia/status/787588977419104256 …
me and @someUSER booked in to see a good day to die hard on february 14 2013 (valentine's day) .,"me and @someUSER booked in to see ""a good day to die hard"" on february 14 2013 (valentine's day) ."
@Sarcaism_ sutta leke aana,@Sarcaism_ get a cigarette along with you 
@jayantgajria hahaa.. Thanks bhai.. Zarurat padi to bula lunga,@jayantgajiria thanks brother. i will call you in need of help 
"Aunty you are the best, meri kala ko samajhne wale bas aap hi ho _/\_",aunty you are the best. you are the only one who understands my talent. 
"Do dilli wale out ho nahi rahe , aur inhe Kashmir chahiye BC -_- #IndvsPak",they cannot out two delhi people and they want kashmir #IndvsPak
it needs to storm february 9th so endymion can get canceled and all the parades would then start at 7am sunday . #mardigras #nola,it needs to storm february 9th so that endymion can get cancelled and all the parades would then start at 7am on sunday . #mardigras #nola
Ye election hum @Joydas ki wajah se haare haipic.twitter.com/rD3MilueQy,we have lost the elections because of @Joydas haipic.twitter.com/rD3MilueQy
@aanchalator Yeh over sambhal liya toh khatam,@aanchalator if we take care of this over then its done.
hahaha . . . . main to waapis aa k bhi nhi pehnta tha . . . . :p,hahaha. i use to not wear even after i return.
haan sirf chashma chadhana hai Rafi pe :D,wearing spectacles is the only thing left for rafi 
RT @Babu_Bhaiyaa : Kejriwal - Modi ji ye aapki Degrees fake hain . Modi- Maalum hai ... AAPke Tomar ji se hi toh banwaai hain .,"RT @Babu_Bhaiyaa : Kejriwal -  Mr. Modi your degrees are fake. Modi- yes, i know. i did it with the help of your tomar. "
#LiesMenTell Maine aisi hazaar ladkiyan ghumayi hai,#LiesMenTell i have roamed with thousands of women
Mujhe maaf karna om sai rampic.twitter.com/qiManJ4ZtU,forgive me om sai ram pic.twitter.com/qiManJ4ZtU
@kitAnurag @HaddHaiYaar Sharam kar paapi insaan. Vacation par Germany jata hai,@kitAnurag @HaddHaiYaar you sinny human. have some shame. you go to germany on a vacation 
"on the set of the axis of the nigerian economy , airing every tuesday 8:30pm on nta international (dstv) http/URL","on the set of the axis of the nigerian economy , airing every tuesday at 8:30pm on nta international (dstv) http/URL"
"@Alllahdin Digvijay, Ashutosh, Sanjay, Joy plenty of names.","@Alllahdin Digvijay, Ashutosh, Sanjay, Joy. plenty of names."
Han sallu bhai...ye abhijeet ke 2lagao....bakwas pel ra tha usdin....kese dost bna rkhe ha jo apse mel.ni.khate....u r a philanthropist and he is misanthropist,yes sallu brother. beat abhijeet 2 times. he was talking all rubbish that day. what kind of friends are made for the sake of meeting you. you are a philanthropist and he is a misanthropist.
yaar ye @LoKarDi_RT mera pyar hai jo kabhi tha hi nahi.,this @LoKarDi_RT is my love which has never been.
Duniya chale aghaadi toh main chalu pichaadi - Karan Johar,when the world is moving forward i move backward - karan johar 
@P2makodo btw ye aunty kon hai ?,@P2makodo by the way who is this aunty?
"#RahulGandhi ko ei log target kiya hai hatya karne ka #BJP - #RSS "" Rahul Gandhi ko mitaana chaahta hai : RJD Chief @laluprasadrjd","#RahulGandhi has been targeted for being murdered #BJP - #RSS "" want to kill rahul gandhi : rjd chief"
@Shahrcasm nahi be ye dekhpic.twitter.com/JWfj8ao9lZ,@Shahrcasm no. see this pic pic.twitter.com/JWfj8ao9lZ
"@SrBachchan sir apna ghar paas me hi hai, lunch karne ghar pe aa jao, kaha bahar ka khana khake paet kharab karoge.",@SrBachchan it is near our house itself. come home for lunch. why to spoil your stomach by eating outside.
ye culture heritage wala gana abhi tak chal raha hai . . . . . .,the song of this cultural heritage is still going on 
cycle k rim me gubbare lage hain . . . . . purani yad taza ho gayi,there are balloons on the cycle rim. feeling nostalgic 
"Sir @ashutosh83B kabhi apni luxury cars ke sath bhi photo post karo, kya metro ke sath photo kheench ke public ko chootiya bana rahe ho!",Sir @ashutosh83B post a picture with your luxury cars sometime. why are you taking pictures along with the metro and fooling the public.
@unChainedDjang0 so ja bhai,@unChainedDjang0 sleep brother.
@MeetUunngLee bol tune kaafi pi rakhi hai,@meetUunngLee tell. you are too much drunk
india is bar haregi . . karon jo new khilari he bo log australia and newzilen ki krish may jayda sofol nehi he . .,"this time india will lose. do whatever, the new players have not succeeded much on the australian and new zealand pitches."
She has tick? Woh to kutton ko hota hai,she has tick?that generally happens to dogs.
too early to say this friends . lets not celebrate until the fat lady sings . :),too early to say this friends . let us not celebrate until the fat lady sings.
"""Tum saala gulaam log hamari jooti ke niche hi jyada khush tha"" https://twitter.com/pmarca/status/697261037330903042 …",you slaves were more happy under my shoes https://twitter.com/pmarca/status/697261037330903042 …
Dar ke aage shit hai. ~ Darshit,there is shit in front of fear ~ Darshit
"#IfSuperheroesWereIndian ""You know how i got these scars?""
""Haan, kal daaru peeke ghar gaya tha na, maar padi hogi""","#IfSuperheroesWereIndian ""You know how i got these scars?"" ""yes, yesterday, you went home after drinking, you must have got some beating"""
"Ye bhai kehna kya chahte hai?
Bataane wale ko 100 rupya inaamhttps://twitter.com/ThatEricAlper/status/813972907252649984 …",what does this brother want to tell? the person who tells would win 100 rupees.
@LoKarDi_RT 2-4 aur de dete toh kya jaata?,@LoKarDi_ and if you would have given then what would you lose ?
Kya aapka bhi kaala hai? Dhan?,and yours is also black? money? 
@iamGunjanGrunge Abe block kar deti hai ladkiya,@iamGunjanGrunge the women will block.
4 pm toh ho gaya abhi taak...........! :(,4 pm has been crossed till now !
desh ke bahari dusman oor Andar ke Gadaar #AAPhole sab pe strike hogi ji ... #SurgicalStrike,country's foreign terrorists and country's inside traitors #AAPhole everyone has to face the strike #SurgicalStrike
"kahan gaya? Yahin hu main, tumhare dil mein.","where did i go? i am here, in your heart "
Even Rahul Gandhi jokes say 'Bas karo aur kitna maroge?',Even Rahul Gandhi jokes say 'stop it. how much will you tease me?'
"Gayle kahin josh me Kohli ke sath dance karne naa chala jaye, Virat dosti bhul jayega !","i hope gayle doesn't go and start dancing with kohli, virat will forget the friendship!"
"@MeetUunngLee aagaya aaj!
Tu hot aur sexy hai sab ladkiyon ko pata hai","@MeetUunngLee you have come today!
all the girls know that you are hot and sexy"
.@ashutosh83B bas kar bey mazaak karnapic.twitter.com/1eizEeN2gX,.@ashutosh83B stop it. tell me some jokes pic.twitter.com/1eizEeN2gX
"@FaaduTweets hum sune hai gaana eeka, koyal jaisi awaaj hai, sasura mann behek jaavat hai mithaas se @TheVacuumHead","@FaaduTweets we have heard his songs, the voice of a nightingale, mind gets melted with that sweetness @TheVacuumHead"
@prtxt Usko pucha to woh kisi aur ka naam nahi batayega na? @BucketheadCase @rahulroushan,will he tell any other name upon asking asking him ?
@retardedwriter @Alllahdin apna wala bhi aise hi hai bas thoda zyada aggressive,@retardedwriter @Alllahdin our's is also similar but slightly more aggressive 
Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahanihttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/685716450519179264 …,amazing story of a weird love https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/685716450519179264 
@zoomphatak jaa bhai.. Yehi thi dosti,@zoomphatak go brother. this was only your friendship 
"u so lucky man guddu , my mom used to say "" paise sirf papa se manga kar' .","you are so lucky man guddu , my mom used to say "" ask money only from your father'' ."
"for corruption free , criminal free , rapist free india , hame kejriwal chahiye .","for corruption free , criminal free , rapist free india , we need kejriwal ."
RT @Shumyl : Internet bhi nahi chal raha . Kia manhoos Sunday hai .,RT @Shumyl : internet is also not working . the sunday is ruined..
kuch jhaantuwon ke liye yahan serious hona padta hai.,some pranskters have to be serious here.
"mere liye bahot saare gaane hai, can't choose.",i have many songs for me. i can't choose 
@ Deggii Raja-Rahul Gandhi ki Pl accumulate ho gaye the . Agr wo nahi lete tho laps ho jate #WhereIsRahulGandhi #WhereIsRahul,"@ Deggii Raja- rahul gandhi's pl got accumulated. if he wouldn't have taken it, he would have lapsed.#WhereIsRahulGandhi #WhereIsRahul"
RT @Dishasatra : Rahul Gandhi's speeches be like https://t.co/GoLS2bXSmL,RT @Dishasatra : rahul gandhi's speeches be like https://t.co/GoLS2bXSmL
lastly itne din baad garbage bin is back :) :d,lastly after so many days the garbage bin is back.
a cheeky 61 by nick watney good enough to win #cimbclassic at -22 from @someUSER &amp,a cheeky 61 by nick watney is good enough to win #cimbclassic at -22 from @someUSER &amp
RT @ashu3page : So well managed this time @rvmoorthyhindu : second day of janta darbar by Delhi CM Arvind Kejriwal at kaushambi . http://t.co/2,RT @ashu3page : so well managed this time @rvmoorthyhindu : second day of public court by delhi cm arvind kejriwal at kaushambi . http://t.co/2
haha thanks baba.. Aaj shaam ko Gems khaunga 10 wali,haha thanks baba. i will eat the gems worth 10 bucks today evening 
"Lool! Yahin toh problem hai, ladkiyon ko sorrry bolne mein issue hai.",lol! this is the problem. girls have an issue with telling sorry.
Jatt: Yo le 2000.. Aur saamne se hatt jaa chorrehttps://twitter.com/airnewsalerts/status/679910018779500545 …,jatt: take this 2000 and move out from the front kid. 
land conservation announcement monday: gov . mitch daniels and lt . gov . becky skillman will make a lan . . . http/URL #nashville,land conservation announcement on monday: governor mitch daniels and lt. governor becky skillman will make a lan . . . http/URL #nashville
.@sagarikaghose koi kuch bhi likhe use sach maan le,@sagarikaghose assume it as the truth irrevelant of who wrote it and what is written 
@knv519 Whew ! Suddenly ... yaha bhi bahut hot yaar !,@knv519 whew ! suddenly it is hot here also!
"theek hai yaar, sawaal pucha ho kisine to genuine jawab bhi hona chahiye. No big deal.","ok . if anyone has questioned, the answer should also be genuine. no big deal."
@dhaval241086 Hahaa.. Roz subah 2 baar aur sone se pehle 3 baar sune.. full volume par.. Kripa aane lagegi,@dhaval241086  everday morning 2 times and before going to sleep i listen to it 3 times on full volume. we experience benovelence.
utna bhi kuch nahi karna hai yaar. :P,it is not required to do so much. 
He is already pissedOff ... even before getting in !!! Wow ..... LoL,he is already pissed off. even before getting in !!! wow ..... lol
Match dekhna start kiya to ABD out ho gaya.,after i started watching the match abd got out.
Kabhi ghamand nahi kiya.,i have never boasted 
delhi me to modi sir ki sarkaar aane wali h . .,modi's government is going to come to power in delhi 
#AIB Roast Roster Roastest ..!! Indeed it was Roastest ..!! Poor Ranveer n Arjun :D,#AIB roast roaster roastest !! indeed it was roastest !! poor ranveer and arjun
"#7thingsaboutmybestfriend she is treating me to cookout tomorrow , first thing when i get to jacksonville . @someUSER","#7thingsaboutmybestfriend she is treating me to cookout tomorrow, first thing when i get to jacksonville. @someUSER"
@BUnlimted torch wala ?? Mere paas bhi tha.. Snake ka score mera 2800 tha,@BUnlimted the torch one?? i also had it.. my score in snake was 2800.
Iss mein Modiji ka haath hai jihttps://twitter.com/indiatvnews/status/805726929504509953 …,modi is involved in it https://twitter.com/indiatvnews/status/805726929504509953 
"Aree @ArvindKejriwal ka kaam nei hai , Khali aarop lagata hai ! #CAGExposedGadkari :P","hey, this is not the work of @ArvindKejriwal, he is just claiming"
@Humor_Donor bhai itne chutiye bhi nahi hai jitna tu samajta hai,"@Humor_Donor Bro, not at # as you thought"
he just wants a frand :P,he just wants a friend :P
@perky_girl16 mere pyar ne tumhe jaaga rakha hai na?,"@perky_girl16, my love made you not to sleep"
haha! Ye achhe ladkon ke saath zaroor hota haj,haha! the good guys would have definitely experienced it 
@KyaUkhaadLega Bhai ek number,"@KyaUkhaadLega Bro, one number"
so he kissed u @ rajiv chowk metro station . . . . . . wahan toh itni bheed hoti hain . . . . . . ! sach main aisa hua tha kya ?,so he kissed you @rajiv chowk metro station # that is much crowded area # is it true that it happened
"wapas bulao use, mumbai ke theke loss me jaa rahe hai @VikrantShanbhag","call him back, the mumbai stores are in losses @VikrantShanbhag"
kaash kachua sir bhavnao ko samjh sakte . . :p,i wish kachua sir understood the feelings 
@akshaykanitkar humse bhi mil lo.. Angrezi to hume bhi nahi aati @bhaiyyajispeaks,@akshaykanitkar meet me also # even you don't know english @bhaiyyajispeaks
@Bhu_umi gharwali ladke bilkul cute nahi hote 🙈😂😂,@Bhu_umi homage girls are not even cute #
Marks make me laugh .. I look at my marks and I laugh ..,Marks make me laugh # I look at my marks and I laugh #
@Fussy_Ca bhai ab to tujhse darr lagne laga hai,@Fussy_Ca brother now i am frightened of you.
"ye topic mein mazza nahi aarahai, tu wapas aagaya? :P","i am not enjoying this topic, are you going to come back? "
"@KyaUkhaadLega @ROFLaaLa @MeetUunngLee chalo theek hai, Laala ab ignore kar raha hai :P","@KyaUkhaadLega @ROFLaaLa @MeetUunngLee ok, Laala is ignoring now."
"Gali Gali me shor hai , Gandhi family chor hai #AugustaWestland #GandhisAreChor",noise in every gully. gandhi's family is thief #AugustaWestland #GandhisAreChor
"Aapke dwara dial kiya gaya number kisi aur ko lag gaya hai, tumhara number kabhi nahi aayega.",the number dialled by you has reached someone else. your number is never going to come.
"yaar tumlog aapas mein baat karo na, mujhe mat ghaseeto beech mein. Ok bye",you guys talk among yourselves. do not involve me between this. ok bye
@adrashyababa 98% charge ho gaya.. Ab to charger hata le,@adrashyababa 98% charging has been done. atleast now take out the charger.
Umpire log ko koi ye batao Zara ki #Jio aur #mumbaiindians ka owner ek he hai,someone tell the umpire that the owner of  #Jio and #mumbaiindians is same.
Soch raha hoo iss baar phir se India ko World Cup dilwa doo . What do you think ? #IndvsSA #CWC15 #BleedBlue,i am thinking of giving world cup to india again what do you think? #IndvsSA #CWC15 #BleedBlue
@ROFL_India oh to ye pehle ho chuka hai,@ROFL_India oh that means this has happened before.
@ExSecular ek dimaag wali.. Ek daadi wali,@ExSecular one with the brain. one with beard
"@Bihar_ke_lala galat kahan bole kuch? dalaal jaisa feel mat karo, hum to casanova bol rahe the @kitAnurag","@Bihar_ke_lala what is wrong in what i said? don't feel like a pimp, we were telling casanova @kitAnurag"
dahi hai sahi @DiaQuery,curd is true @DiaQuery
Pari lag rahe ho jaan-e-manpic.twitter.com/d6agXVgdaH,you look like a princess sweetheart. pic.twitter.com/d6agXVgdaH
@anaulhaq lekin kaptan nahi tha,@anaulhaq but there wasn't any captain 
Bhai @ShashiTharoor bhabhi ko nahi maarna chahiye thahttps://twitter.com/firstpost/status/620571052364529665 …,brother @ShashiTharoor you shouldn't have beaten sister-in-law https://twitter.com/firstpost/status/620571052364529665 …
"@Arunapk57 hi5, main bhi wohi karta hu :P","@Arunapk57 hi5, i also do the same thing "
chhod aaye hum woh fart wahan.,i have left that fart there
"aayenge, time kharab hai","we will come back, time is bad"
@witchybitchygal Waah.. Kya pic hai @chintan_p80pic.twitter.com/0a61XvZ5iz,@witchybitchygal wow # what a pic man @chintan_p80pic.twitter.com/0a61XvZ5iz
"@Choti_Daku 4 hai, 2 mere aur 2 unke","@Choti_Daku had four, 2 are mine and rest 2 are his ones."
khana banane ke liye lakdi kaatega @sojho_nissan,in order to make food you cut wood @sojho_nissan
Isse kehte hai bhikariyon ke ghar bheek maangnahttps://twitter.com/ek_samosa_dena/status/663725221254291456 …,this is what is called as begging in front of a beggar's house https://twitter.com/ek_samosa_dena/status/663725221254291456 
"@YearOfRat @retardedwriter @Alllahdin aankhein bandh hogayi thi abhi 5 minute pehle, phir wohi soch aayi ""aaj raat time se sojaunga'","@YearOfRat @retardedwriter @Alllahdin just before 5 minutes my eyes got closed and then i got the same thought ""tonight i will sleep on time"""
"Deepak ""ji channel ko kitna fund diya hai congress ne ? 2006 me ameithi rape case kyu nahi discuss kiya kabhi ?","deepak sir, congress had given many funds to channel # but why didn't you discussed about ameithis rape case in 2006"
"i stole rs 400 from my 1st roomie , he actually thought it was someone else in the wing  # since i was his roomie i was beyond suspicion","i stole rs 400 from my 1st roomie , he actually thought it was someone else in the wing . . . since i was his roomie i was beyond suspicion"
""" Trending India : 03:51 PM IST "" 1 . #IPLAuction 2 . #MustWatchMSG 3 . #WIvIRE 4 . #AwardWinningExcuses 5 . Yograj Singh 6 . Ireland",""" trending india : 03:51 PM IST "" 1 . #IPLAuction 2 . #MustWatchMSG 3 . #WIvIRE 4 . #AwardWinningExcuses 5 . yograj singh 6 . ireland"
#RightToPrivacy ke andar ab khule me susu allow hai kya ?,"#RightToPrivacy under this act, is it possible to have urinals in open space"
#Dhoni ke resign ko #Saurav ki joining nahi samjha jaye bus,the resignation of #Dhoni  will not be understood by the joining of #Saurav. that's it.
@Choti_Daku jo tere sar mein bhara hai usse kaun saaf karega?,"@Choti_Daku the thing which is on your head, who is going to clean that?"
lagta hai iin (idea internet network) dilwana padega,it seems that we should install iin (idea internet network) 
"@Upooorv Pura SM hi daal do, sab bhadaas nikal jaayegi @BucketheadCase @schmmuck @Reviewero @bhak_sala","@Upooorv Pura put sm itself, all the stress will come out @BucketheadCase @schmmuck @Reviewero @bhak_sala"
sabse happy luncher paa ji :d,the happiest luncher paa 
we used to wear our sweaters around our waist or neck . . . mohabbatein style . . . shahrukh samajhte the khud ko :d,we used to wear our sweaters around our waist or neck . . . mohabbatein style . . . we use to think we are shahrukh khan
"@MeThePooh Is zamaane jo karein tantrik par vishwas, woh kya ghanta kar paayenge bihar ka vikas #BJPAheadMGBDead",@MeThePooh people who believe in magic in this generation will not be able to develop bihar #BJPAheadMGBDead
#Aadhar Bhim app pe tala lagna chiye aur Modi ko islifa dena chiye #RightToPrivacy,#Aadhar bhim app should get banned and modi should resign #RightToPrivacy
bhai apko nahi lagta ki kareena ne bhot zyada make up kr liya hai movie mein.. #Salmankhan,brother don't you think that kareena has a lot a make up in the movie  #Salmankhan
@iAbhinavTrehan RT to milte hai.. Vote dekh kar hi khush ho jaate hai,@iAbhinavTrehan we will get rt. will see the votes only he will get happy 
@indiantweeter bas do din late ho gaya paise bhejne mein aur aise zaleel karoge?,@indiantweeter i was late to give money by 2 days and you humiliate like this ?
haan usi ki kismat phooti hai @RowdyTalks @meamabhishek,yes he has no luck @RowdyTalks @meamabhishek
I m from nasik bhai... main sirf aur sirf aapko milne mumbai aaya tha...,i am from nasik brother . i have come to mumbai only to meet you.
"download hogi , toh fake toh ho hi nahi sakti",it will get downloaded. so there is no chance of it being fake
@bholi_si_soorat shaadi dot com par jaiye,@bholi_si_soorat go to shaadi dot com
Jaise ke biryani nahi khaayi jayegihttps://twitter.com/INDpheobebuffay/status/878179399283073024 …,something like we cannot eat the biryani https://twitter.com/INDpheobebuffay/status/878179399283073024 
message me . would probably be able to help you out .,message me. I would probably be able to help you out .
"#324 : IITB girls please sell your attitude on OLX , because that's old and useless like old furniture :(","#324 : iitb girls please sell your attitude on olx, because that's old and useless like old furniture."
i love u salman vai.i always like u vaijan.khuda hamesha apki saath rahega..,i love you salman brother i always like you. vaijan khuda will always be with you.
"@makemytrip Hum chale door un manzilon se..
Paas aa gaye hum unke khayalon me #DilKehtaHai","@makemytrip we go far away from those destinations
we came near to her dreams #DilKehtaHai0"
Didi @ranaayyub Yakub bhaijan ke jane ka ghum kuchh kam hua ki nahin?,sister @ranaayyub have you recovered from the sadness of yakub borhter leaving?
ye english prakrati k viruddh he . . :-d,this english is against the nature.
Tum bade achhe ho na mere saath?,you are too good to me right?
"@Alllahdin haan, Paise chahiye","@Alllahdin yes, need money."
#DimagSay hashtag use karne se kya hoga bhaijaan . #DimagSay se kaam bhi toh kiya karo . #SadaSexyRaho ! Oh wait ! Sorry . I was joking 😉,#DimagSay what will happen if you use the hashtag brother. some times use your #Dimag. #SadaSexyRaho ! oh wait ! sorry. i was joking.
"kisi bhi mobile number pe . . , , !",on any mobile number!
elimination chamber is going to be in st . louis may 19th . . i have to go .,elimination chamber is going to be in st .louis on may 19th. i have to go .
matlb mini dhoni ane wala hai . most welcome,that means mini dhoni is going to come. most welcome
"Pakistan to world cup se bahar ho gaya, ab gaali kisko denge? :(",pakistan is out of the world cup now ? whom are we going to abuse now?
looks like i'm going to knicks vs . heat this sunday .,looks like i'm going to knicks versus heat this sunday .
#Dhoni Aise Kaun captaincy se quit karta hai Bhai,#Dhoni who leaves the captaincy like this brother.
modiji....humane apko wot diya lekin muze ab lag raha he ki me rong tha,modi. we gave you the vote but now i feel i was wrong.
@shajazudeen Ye achhi baat hai ya buri?,@shajazudeen is it a good talk or a bad one?
s#stop doing these illegal work !!,#stop doing this illegal work!
@smaan09 shukriya saurabh...achcha laga aapse milkar,@smaan09 thanks saurabh. it is good to meet you.
awesome yr bro . . . . love u mumma,awesome brother. love you mom
@dhaval241086 abhi to in Bhopal bhai,@dhaval241086 for now in bhopal brother
Take hai .......... care jahan SE achha Hindustan humara https://t.co/BEU07GaoBO,it is a take. hindustan is better than all the rest of the world https://t.co/BEU07GaoBO
public-city ke liye kuch bhi karega,the public will do anything for the city 
@bawli_poonch kuch pata nahi chala,@bawli_poonch nothing is found 
Bhai @meamabhishek ye coat hanger ki naukri kyu chhod di ?pic.twitter.com/pmib4hmAoU,brother @meamabhishek why did you leave this coat hanger job ? pic.twitter.com/pmib4hmAoU
arre bhai ye toh bas aise hi bore hogaye the _/\_ @Alllahdin,these guys were bored just like that @Alllahdin
"@MeetUunngLee logon par give up hojata hai, pyaar par nahi",@MeetUunngLee gives up on people not on love 
"am "" pahle #TripleTalaq gaya .. Aur ab #RightToPrivacy bhi aa gaya .. ab to double Party banti hai aapki taraf se 0","am "" first #TripleTalaq was gone .. and now #RightToPrivacy has also come .. now it is a double party from your side."
@KyaUkhaadLega bhai RT kar diya. Ab to samjha de,@KyaUkhaadLega bhai RT kar diya. Ab to samjha de
@retardedwriter @MeetUunngLee haa isne kar leni chahiye,@retardedwriter @MeetUunngLee yes. he should have done it.
Bhai kya trailer hai bhaihttps://twitter.com/BeingSalmanKhan/status/633304518248165376 …,it is brother's trailer https://twitter.com/BeingSalmanKhan/status/633304518248165376 …
RT @BollyMention : Deepika Padukone Makes A Great Pair With ?? Ranbir Kapoor or Ranveer Singh ??,rt @BollyMention : deepika padukone makes a great pair with ?? ranbir kapoor or ranveer singh ??
Hi salman i'm sameer baloch in balochistan i'm biggggg fan of you,Hi salman i'm sameer baloch in balochistan. i'm a big fan of you
Dongiri tb hogi jb salu bhai(Salman) nd GuRu bhai(Hemant) dono sath me honge..,donation will happen only whe salman brother and guru brother are together.
"Dard dilon ke kam ho jaate...
twitter par agar poetries kam ho jaate.","hurting of heart becomes less...
if poetries become less in twitter"
ye baat to sahi kahi..,you said true words
jo  .  .  .  .  haraam ki kha raha hai wo congress k gunn gaa raha hai  .  .  .  !  !,thoes who are corrupt are supporting congress
. @vindugoel Burnol bhejo inko koi ...,.@vindugoel send burnol to them
Jb dekh liya ki #UriAttack k baad desh aakroshit hai to hath me toffee ( surgical strike ) pkda diya . ab #SukmaAttack aur #kupwara k baad kya ?,when they saw that after #UriAttack country was attracted then they gave a tofee ( surgical strike ) in our hands . now what is after #SukmaAttack and #kupwara ?
sharma ji ka londa to pahle hi out ho jata hai .  .,sharma uncle's son gets out first
@Trendulkar @imVkohli bhai dhoni ka handle @msdhoni hai.,@Trendulkar @imVkohli brother dhoni's handle @msdhoni
@premlata_rai @Ra_Bies Jo tujhse mila nahi usse aise hi lagta hai :'(,@premlata_rai @Ra_Bies one who did not meet you feels like this :'(
Ab #Dhawan England mein bhumi poojan karenge 0,now #Dhawan will do land worship in england
@maggi_nnn haha aapan marathi? Aani mi aaz mood madhe,@maggi_nnn (laughs) me marathi? today I am in mood
"@cutie_pi00 aankho par se zulfein hata lo, baal aankho mein chala jayega","@cutie_pi00 remove hair from above your eyes, otherwise hair will get into your eyes"
@Moskvaa Shaadi me Kejriwal ji sirf rayta khiwaenge,@Moskvaa Kejriwal will eat only rayta in wedding
@Singhlicious ab tak single nahi hota :'(,@Singhlicious i would'nt been single till now :(
@VeePari_ @imVkohli @sachin_rt abh mera phone bhi ghatiya hogya hai so you'll win easily 😏,"@VeePari_ @imVkohli @sachin_rt now my phone is not working properly, so you will win easily"
.@NilimDutta bhai tu jail se kab aaya ?,"@NilimDutta brother, when did you came back from jail ?"
taylor swift is coming with ed sheeran june 29th ?  most perf news i've heard all night .,taylor swift is coming with ed sheeran june 29th ?  most perfect news I've heard all night .
"@someUSER stick to college hoops &amp; pandering to 2nd rate acc teams .  .  .  dook's opening game is right around the corner ,  baybeeee !  ! ","@someUSER stick to college hoops &amp; pandering to 2nd rate atlantic coast conference teams .  .  .  dook's opening game is right around the corner ,  bayby !"
Ye pic tumhara bahut cute hai @akkian__girl @akshaykumar,this picture of yours is very cute @akkian__girl @akshaykumar
Ye Babar Azam kaafi tej ladka hai. Dekhna kitni teji se wapas pavilion jata hai.,this babar azam is a very fast boy. see how fast he goes to the pavillion
best kejriwal- zinda bad kejriwal_ pakistani salman khan,best kejriwal- long live kejriwal_ pakistani salman khan
@H_Dariyabadi gali gali me shor hai bharti mittal chor hai,@H_Dariyabadi streets are making noises that bharti mittal is a thief
"Are bas kar bhai itna nahi rone ""ka #GST hai bomb nahi. Kuch to sharm karo. @digvijaya_28 @INCIndia "" desh nikal liya ""aage u sit and cry","wait brother, do not cry this much, its #GST not a bomb. have some shame. @digvijaya_28 @INCIndia "" country brought it out ""now you sit and cry"
tu teacher to nhi hai na  ?,"you are not a teacher, are you ?"
"Nataraj means the Lord of Dance, and Natarajan means jo Gandhis ke ishaaron pe naachte hain.","nataraj means the lord of dance, and natarajan means one who is controlled by gandhis orders"
Pandya ne ek achaa kaam Kiya at least .,pandya atleast did something good
if i can get my equipment working correctly we will have a live show on friday at 6 pm cst with contactee ray .  .  .  http/URL,if i can get my equipment working correctly we will have a live show on friday at 6 pm cast with contactee ray .  .  .  http/URL
"Tum logo ko jo khana hai khao, dimag mat khao mera.","eat whatever you'll want to eat, don't eat my head"
BHARAT MATA KI JAI !! #IndvsPak,vactorious india !!
@LoKarDi_RT bakwaas karne mein toh Ph.D. kiya hai tumne,@LoKarDi_RT you have done Ph.D. in non sense
acha hua gf ne chhod diya  .  .  .  ab tera waqt kuch useful kaamo mein lagega  .  .  .  .,its good that gf broke up . . . now your time will be invested in some usefull work . . . .
YE 7 HOGAYE :P,this became 7 :P
"haha chalo done. Waise aisa sirf bhai fans bolte hain, ""bhai ki picture hai, sunday tak 5 bar to dekhna banta hai.","(laughs) ok done. By the way only brother fans say like this, ""its brother's picture, one should have watched it 5 times till sunday"
tujhe udaar maine hi diya tha.. bhool gaya @Fussy_Ca @tweeting_pal,i gave it to you there.. forgoten @Fussy_Ca @tweeting_pal
Agar aaj NOIDA aur gurgoan mai accuired land na hota to adha delhi unemployed baitha hota . ArvindAnnaBack #LandAcquisitionBill .,if today noida and gurgaon did not have accquired land then half of delhi would have been unemployed . arvindannaback #LandAcquisition
Pappu ke 4000 khatm nahi hue ab tak ?,pappu did not finish his 4000 till now ?
best part is .  .  . kaise hum ooni dastane pehen k keeping kiya karte the .  . aur apne aap ko nayan mongia se kam nahi samajhte the :p,"best part is, how i used to wear and keep thoes gloves, and never thought of myself any less than nayan mongia :p"
@Amit_smiling Bhai paay laagu _/\_,"@Amit_smiling brother, i should touch your feet _/\_"
Ab aage hoga kya ??,what will happen now ??
Abhi finals jaaye Bhaad main ! Hum log toh World Cup jeet gaye ! https://t.co/unf94UqpOW,now let finals go in the gutter ! we have won the world cup ! https://t.co/unf94UqpOW
#MannKiBaat ka Naam Badal kar desh ki baat honi chahiye kabhi safai ki baat kabhi Kisan ki baat different different name ..:),"#MannKiBaat 's name should be changed to desh ki baat, sometimes safai ki baat , sometimes kisan ki baat. different name at different times :)"
@SecularTrainee lekin aaj to sundae hai,@SeculatTrainee but today is sunday
Ek jodi ho to chupaau..,"i will hide, if i had a pair"
"c'mon cam and the panthers !  u r the missing link in my quinfecta weekend .  hard to do .  .  . app win ,  unc win ,  state loss ,  dook loss ,  panther win","come on cam and the panthers !  you are the missing link in my quinfecta weekend .  hard to do .  .  . app win ,  unc win ,  state loss ,  dook loss ,  panther win"
where were you when desh Virodhi naare lagg rahe the #JNU me. Patthar feke jaa rahe the Jawano par.,where were you when traiters were chanting slogans in  #JNU. throwing stones at animals.
@varungrover abhi ek gaane ke liye break le lo,@varungrover take a break for one song
@klpe so ja bhai,@kipe get some sleep
@Sychlops HD nahi hai bhai woh,@Sychlops its not hd brother
fake news he ho ni sakta aisa  .  .  .  .  .  itni cell me konsa cell pe call aaya he jsko pata krna hi bhaut musqil ho jata he,it can only be fake news . . . . . among so many cells it is difficult to identify the cell on which the call came
"#KiskiDilli congratts to New Govt . Of Delhi , #varanasi k #AssiGhat m free WiFi aagya , dekhte h #delhi m kab ayega . http://t.co/uubXTuCFuf","#KiskiDilli congratts to new govt . of delhi , in #varanasi  #AssiGhat free WiFi came , lets see when it will come in #delhi. http://t.co/uubXTuCFuf"
you are in shock .... hawaiyan udd gyi .... #notebandi chal gya 0 janta Ka thapad pad gya ... aap ab chaplusi par na Utar jaiyega,"you are in shock, the wind blew, #notbandi gone, the public was slapped. now you don't get down to flattery"
@thekaranbhatia wo bhi aisa hi hai kya? @VodafoneIN @airtelindia,@thekaranbhatia is that like this too? @VodafoneIN @airtelindia
@SahilRiz @kitAnurag Bas Thakur Bhanu Pratap ka aashirwad mil gaya aur kya chahiye,@SahilRiz @kitAnurag no more thakur we got bhanu pratap's blessing what more can we get
Aaj haare to @piersmorgan maje lega,if we lose today then @piersmorgan will make fun of us
s was mine favourite .  .  .  :p,she was mine favourite .  .  .  :p
"#MahaShivratri pe doodh waste na karne wale , plz bataye ki cake pe candle laga ke phoonk maarne mein kya Logic hai ??? :-D #","thoes who don't waste milk in #MahaShivratri , please tell the logic behind sticking candles on the cake and blowing them off ??? :-D"
ye gunah hai.. gunah ka baap hai,this is crime.. this is crime's father
@Ojasism Bhai ka driver #roxx,@Ojasism brother's driver #roxx
"Humein toh apno ne loota, gairon ko hum samajh aaye.
#WakeUpLiberandushttps://twitter.com/dilipjain1979/status/903378749374083073 …","my own people robbed me and i thought strangers were my enemies
#WakeUpLiberandushttps://twitter.com/dilipjain1979/status/903378749374083073 …"
"@RadheMaa Nitish ka yahi naara, Khaunga aur khane dunga #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra","@RadheMaa this is nitish's slogan, i will eat and will let everyone ear #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra"
@RoastedPapad pimp karne ka accha tarika hai,@RoastedPapad this is a nice way pimp
mummy grihshobha me sweaters ke naye style dhundh rahi hongi .  .  .  . 2 fande sidhe fir 3 fande ulte .  .  .,mother must be searching for new styles of sweaters inside the house. 2 loops straight and then 3 loops inverted
I am not saying @BJP 4 India is always right but JINKE GHAR SHEESHEY KE HOTE HAI WO AURO KE GHAR PE PATHAR NAHI FEKA KRTE . #ManmohanSingh,"i am not saying @BJP for India is always right but whose houses are made of glass, they do not throw stones at the houses of others. #Manmohan Singh"
#ArunJaitley sir kewal deposite rate cut koi solution nahi . hai aap log us jagah khud rakh ker sochiye . midl class old age me kya payega .,#ArunJaitley sir cutting deposite rate is not a solution. try to position yourselves in thiers and then think . what will the middle class old age people get .
.@Stupidosaur @Bhoolwerine @TheVacuumHead @Zomato Bhai you have a Masters in Logon Ki Dimaag Ki Dahi Karo,.@Stupidosaur @Bhoolwerine @TheVacuumHead @Zomato Bhai you have a masters in screwing up people's heads
pm sir ek post m n rai ke liye bhi kar dijiye .  .  .  27 jan ko shaheed huye hai .  .  .  .,"sir prime minister, please do a post for m n rai, who is martyred on 27th january"
ye @MeetUunngLee bhi aaraha hai. Apna plan yaad rakh. Dhamaal karte hai.,this @MeetUunngLee is also coming. remember our plan. let's do something extraordinary.
SHUT UPPPPP SIDDDHHUU !!!,shut up sidddhhuu !!!
@miss_cherished aaj phatakey hum phorengay  @Atheist_Krishna,@miss_cherished today i will burst the crackers  @Atheist_Krishna
Kejriwal ki raajneeti isse bhi zyada chee hai !!,Kejriwal's politics is even worse than this !!
@MrTippler @NumbYaar Passive aur massive mein dhaage bhar ka fark hota hai.,@MrTippler @NumbYaar passive and massive has little difference.
@viratian4lyf_ try nahi karoge to khush rahoge believe me .. try karo ge to mushkil ho jayega khush rehna,@viratian4lyf_ if you do not try then you will remain happy believe me .. if you try then it will be hard to remain happy
guddu k jaisi akal nhi hogi kisi k paas .  . ye to einstein ko b fail kr de :d :v,no one has a brain like guddu. he can even make einstein fail
@newton3G Dhanyawaad Bhai :),@network3G thanks brother :)
Inhe Demonetization ki spelling bhi nahi aati.https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/805744517005524996 …,he dosen't even know the spelling of demonetization.https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/805744517005524996 …
@balliawalebaba hahaa.. Joke to phir bhi banaenge ,) @NSaina
@SonOfChoudhary  shot sirf dhokebaji me lagate h #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan,@SonOfChoudhary  only cheaters get shots #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan
"#309 : i graduated from iitb a couple of years ago and went to the us  .  i have still never dated a desi gal  .  no regrets  ,  it's too much effort for virtually no return  . ","#309 : i graduated from iitb a couple of years ago and went to the us  .  i have still never dated a local girl  .  no regrets  ,  it's too much effort for virtually no return  ."
"abhi whatsapp pe bheja kisi ne, socha kuch to alag chipkau :P","someone send on whatsapp just now, thinking of posting something new"
"@Alllahdin bas, mujhe tu ktayi pasand nahi hai","@Alllahdin enough, i don't at all like you"
"battiyan bujhane wali, jaane kab aayegi",don't know when the watchwomen will come
bilkul sahi .  .  .  .  bachpan ki yaad aa gayi jb papa new books and copies pr cover chadhate the aur hm tv enjoy krte the .  .  .  .,"definitely true. . . . childhood memories flashed, when father used to cover new books and copies while i enjoyed watching tv . . . ."
"Christians are laughing somewhere.. Saying ""Tum kisi bhi dharm me paida ho. Hum tumhe khane ka laalach dekar isaai bana lenge HAHAHAHA""","christians are laughing somewhere.. saying ""whatever religion you are born into. we will turn you'll into christians by tempting you to eat (laughs)"""
@lady_naarad lol ye kya logic hai,@lady_naarad laugh out loud what is this logic
anuj katheria bhai tere ko maar padti thi chavanni mangne per .  .  .,anuj katheria brother you used to get beatings when you asked for 25 paisa
@Atheist_Krishna beta mera aur @twinitisha ka pyaar Advani ji se bhi purana hai,"@Atheist_Krishna listen son, the love between me and @twinitisha is older than mr. advani"
.@DrunkVinodMehta battery nikal gayee to mobile band pad gaya naa ?,.@DrunkVinodMehta mobile got switched off since the battery fell off
"@MeThePooh @BolshoyBooze Nahi bhara Nitish ne toll, Khul gayi lalu ki pol #BJPAheadMGBDead","@MeThePooh @BolshoyBooze nitish did not gave toll, and so opened lalu's weakness #BJPAheadMGBDead"
mere teacher ne to mujhe wapas ghar bhej diya tha ek baar .  .  .  .  kasam khuda ki aaj mil jaaye wo,"my teacher once sent me home. i swear, if only i meet him today"
@bizzarebhide launde pasand aate hai aajkal ?,"@bizzarebhide nowadays, i like boys ?"
@dramebaaz_ani bahot hi ghatiya soch,@dramebaaz_ani too much bad thoughts
Ab April mein bhi aapko #No 1 aane se koi nahin rok Santa 0 Along with #YogiEffect,now noone can stop you from comming #No 1 in april. along with #YogiEffect
"Amrish Puri: Oye Laajo yeh dekho mere des se chitthi aayi hai. Soongh ke dekh des ki khushbu a rahi hai 

Farida Jalal: Haan sasti glue hai","amrish puri: come laajo see letter has come from my country. smell and feel my country's smell

Farida Jalal: yes it is a cheap glue"
@someUSER wt r u doing guyx  ?,@someUSER what are you doing guys  ?
#GST co-operative federalism ki ek misaal hai jo humen hamesha hamesha aur adhik saath mil kar chalne ki taqat degi: PM Modi #gstrollout,#GST co-operative federalism is one such example that gives us the strength to walk together: pm modi #gstrollout
"Remember, Daaru Gurgaon se aur Petrol Delhi se.","remember, daaru from gurgaon and petrol from delhi."
"Kuch cheezon ka koi mol nahi hota madam, woh anmol hote hai!","there are a few things which do not have a price madam, they are priceless!"
@NDTVRavishKumar #TripleTalaq band hone se kya desh ki economy sudhar jayegi #DalitAtrocity khatm hogi #Vikas ki raftaar badegi,"@NDTVRavishKumar if #TripleTalaq is banned, will the country's economy improve, will #DalitAtrocity stop, will #Vikas 's speed increase"
Dalaal nahi hai ye Bhai!,"brother, he is not a middle man!!"
"""Tum to thehre.. Pardesi.. Saath ka nibhaoge.. Subah pehli.. Subah pehli.. Gaadi se ghar ko laut jaoge.."" ~ Modi to Obama. Right now.","you are a foreigner, how much longer will you stay with me. you are going to return to your home, on the first car tomorrow morning ~ modi to obama. right now"
@UniqueIdiot_ aaj gaaliyan barsaunga,@UniqueIdiot_ today i will make rain of abusive words
"@BoscoUnchained Wahi tracker na jo 2000 ki note me ""tha phir ek baar #Notebandi karo Modiji 0",@BoscoUnchained you are talking about that tracker that was on 200 rupees note. do #Notebandi  once more mr. modi
"@muskurana123 oh yeah , that whole revenge thingie at least 2015 ka revenge le liya","@muskurana123 oh yeah, that whole revenge thingi was at least for 2015 revenge"
Gujjar movement ki yaade taaza ho gayeehttps://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/636437437762240513 …,gujjar movement's memories freshened up https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/636437437762240513 …
@iawoolford prabhu ji mujhe aap ke charan sparsh karne hain _/\_  Hindi ka gaurav Australia mein basa hua hai  :),"@iawoolford mr prabhu, i want to touch your feet _/\_  india's pride is living in australia  :)"
kya gussa ata tha dukan wale par .  maine to dukan sae 64 in 1 layi aur cartridge adal badal ka apna badla pura kiya tha  .  .  .  .  :p,what anger i had on that shopkeeper. from that shop i tood 64 in 1 and also took my revenge for replacing the cartidge
@Fussy_Ca iss desh me sirf paisewalo aur zyada RT walo par hi outrage hota hai,"@Fussy_Ca in this country, outrage happens only on the rich and the people who retweets"
Sb kh rhe h fake id fake id . Aap ko proove krna chahiye aap hi ho.,everyone is telling fake id fake id. you should proove that you are the one
ponka to @someUSER ghar k sher bahar ja k dher .  .  .  :-p,"ponka to @someUSER, hero at home, zero outside"
@Footloose_Free Right away Didi.. sirf udhaar lana hai ya udhaar ka byaaz bhi ??,@Footloose_Free right away didi.. should i bring only the loan or with intrest ??
@desiremaze aap appealing se oopar ho par @doctoratlarge sahab hawon ke saath rookh badalte hain,"@desiremaze you are more than appealing, but @doctoratlarge changes directions like the wind"
"News channels pe dekhiye "" kahi celebration me #Holi ke rang ud rahe hai .. Aur kahi chehre ke","watch on news channels, ""in celebration of #Holi, colors of joy are flying at some places, while at other places people are sad"
"@imcomplicated__ ye zameen ruk jaaye, aasman jhuk jaaye, tera chehra jab nazar aaye","@imcomplicated__ when i see your face, the sky and the ground stops moving"
@Mocksterr risk hai par profit bhi hai.. bas nikalwana aana chahiye,@Mocksterr there is risk but also profit. you should know how to bring it out
@Ra_Bies Sir chupe woh jisne dogala-pan kiya hai @Atheist_Krishna,@Ra_Bies sir only thoes who have double standards will hide @Atheist_Krishna
ab delhi aap k hatho me .  vote for aap .,now delhi in aap's hand. vote for aap
Outstanding look .... Super se bahut bahut bahut upper ... #Lotsoflove 0 aap ne is saal @TheShilpaShetty ke saath #diwali manai ?,outstanding look .... so much above super ... #Lotsoflove this year you celebrated #diwali with @TheShilpaShetty ?
@LoKarDi_RT tere muh par bhi plaster lagana hai mujhe,@LoKarDi_RT i want to stick a poster in your face
@RoflGandhi_ Hahaha 3 saal Rahul Gandhi bankar tweet kiya toh gangajal aur ab filth,@RoflGandhi_ Hahaha three years while tweeting like you are rahul gandhi then pure and now filth
"Sir,kuch apne desh me bhi ghoom liya jaye, kahin bijli to kahin pani,aur kahin road hi nahi haiAchhe din jab aayenge aate rahenge,aap to aao","sir, can you have the courtesy to roam in our country too, somewhere there is no electricity, no water, and no road at all. when it is time for good days to come, they will come, atleast you can come with us"
Uber nahi kuber.. kuber ke khazane ki hai,"its not uber, its the god of wealth. its the treasure of the god of wealth"
MENE #JIO KI SIM KI DATE BADVA DI,i extended my jio sim's expiry date
Aao aap hum sab mil kar manaye #KejriwalDiwaspic.twitter.com/i2YJIIKz6X,come lets celebrate together #KejriwalDiwaspic.twitter.com/i2YJIIKz6X
bhai bt nhii krne thii too mna kr dtee mere phn ki bttry bhi low hooo gyee... :(,"brother, if you didn't want to talk then you should have told. my phone's battery become low"
"Aisa #surgicalstrike kiya ki #pak ne #napak irado se #ind k 2 laadle bete ka sir kaat diya "" sirf vote k liye # 56 inch ka sina kahna galat hai","#surgicalstrike was such that #pak beheaded 2 #ind sons with their #napak intensions "" saying 56 inchces chest only for the sake of votes is wrong"""
"Airtel mein network to aata nahi, 4G kaha se aayega?","there is no network of airtel, how will there be 4g speed"
Bhai 2017 ki zabardast shuruaat hui hai !,brother it is such a great start of 2017
"Zaroor zaroor, shukriya hai!","sure sure, thanks!"
"@Heerahee bhai usne paise diye, maine sirf order kiya. Lol","@Heerahee he gave the money, i only ordered."
"Baal achhe katwaye hai madam, kaunsa hajaam?","nice hair cut madam, which salon?"
abe teri tareef kiya ki tu musical instrument achche bajata hai  @kachra_peti,i paraised that you play musical instrument well @kachra_peti
guddu bohut vulgar ho gaya hain .  .  .  .  .  .,guddu became very abusive. . . . . . .
Aise batein choclate ka daba gift kar k samjhae jati hai :p https://t.co/Wwp9fZKasG,such wodrs can be made to understand only after gifting a box of chocolates :p https://t.co/Wwp9fZKasG
bhai pichle world cup ind vs england match mei salla ek tang pe khada tha .  .  .,"brother, last world cup in india va england match i was standing on one feet"
"ha ha ha i used to do it .  .  . record he kabhi bhi file ,  assignment ya model type dusro se banwane ka :) :p","(laughs) i used to do it .  .  . i had a record to make others do my file, assignment and model type of things :) :p"
"@Alllahdin main ek nek, seedha saadha sa banda hu :-/",@Alllahdin i am a good person :-/
@narendramodi # aadarniya pradhanamntri ji ko #GST yani good and simple tax ke naye yug ki aadharshila rakhne ke liye hardik badhai 0 Namo !,congratulations to respected prime minister mr @narendramodi for making #GST meaning good and simple tax as a base for this new era!
Kamaal karti ho @Insane_chorripic.twitter.com/ys4H1IcDkN,what an amazing deed @Insane_chorripic.twitter.com/ys4H1IcDkN
"india proud on you #PVSindhu "" #sainanehwal","india proud of you #PVSindhu "" #sainanehwal"
@akshaykanitkar bc baas gayee hogi.. 12 saal fridge me rakhi thi kya.. ye to fresh hai.. 2 mahine pehle bani hai ,)
guddu baal katwa le bhai .  . bahut lambe ho gyee,cut your hair guddu. . they have become too long
hey mery inbox mai msg agay salman ka yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo\,hey i got a message from salman
"@dan1shmemon Kya karu, mujhe abhi dimag me aaya ","it just crossed my mind, what should i do about @dan1shmemon"
@Sand_In_Deed bhai mein dosto pe sly nahi maarta.. Ye kisi aur ke liye hai @Being_Humor,@Sand_In_Deed i don't expose my friends.. this is for someone else @Being_Humor
Zeher hai ke pyar hai tera chumma..pic.twitter.com/In5eHgqHky,is your kiss a poison or love..pic.twitter.com/In5eHgqHky
@shrutinshetty muh band karle bhai.. Machchar ghus jaega @angryoungwoman,@shrutinshetty shut your mouth otherwise mosquitoes will enter your mouth @angryoungwoman
@scratchysingh Singh Saab ye sab bandh hona chahiye,@scratchysingh Singh Sir all this should stop
desh ki badkismati .. chai wala p.m...or padha likha p.m maun,country's bad luck...tea maker prime minister.. and educated prime minister silence
Ap ramzan ma rozy rakhty ho?,do you fast in ramzan?
"mere primary school ke supw projects mere papa he banate the par mere h . s .  school ke supw teacher toh mere papa he the ,   .  .  .  yaad aa gaye woh din :d","i remembered thoes days, when my father used to make my primary school's supw projects but my high school's supw teacher was my father"
@zoomphatak hahaha.. Baat to sahi hai,@zoomphatak (laughs).. truly said
i'll be rooting for penn state tomorrow .  .  . even tho they murdered joe pa for something he didn't do !  the new coach &amp, kids deserve that
"superlike ka button kaha hai ,  mil nahi raha hai . ",where is the button for superlike
@DefucktiveHumor Sheen ke saath jaana,@DefucktiveHumor go with Sheen
"bhai, aap Aalok Nath ke aashirwad se sab jagah pahuch jaate hai  @Baburao_ @IamEJF","brother, you get to your destination in aalok nath's blessing @Baburao_ @IamEJF"
"Ab karo #surgicalstrike & do the show - off .. Modi Modi karne se kuchh nahi hoga "" jawan marte rahenge & ye bhaio behno karte rahenge","now do #surgicalstrike and do the show off .. chanting Modi Modi is of no use "" soldiers will keep on dying and they will keep on telling thaw we are brothers and sisters"
by god ye wala to super dhaansu gag banaya hai faisal bhai .  .  .  .  .  .  kasam se,"i swear, you have made a super dashing gag, faisal brother"
@Atheist_Krishna karara jawaab milega.. karara jawaab milega,@Atheist_Krishna you will get a nice answer
"chhod do usse, mujhe pakad ko","leave him, catch me"
Ye Hardik Pandya 3-4 match me ek bar 1-2 chhakke marega aur bowling me aise hi pit kar team ki lanka lagata rahega.,"hardik pandya scores 1-2 sixes in 3-4 matches, while in bowling he beats the other team very badly"
@BabaFirki :D waah bada khush lag raha hai. Aisa kya hogaya? bataa,@BabaFirki :D he was looking so happy over there. what was the reason? tell
@PlusOneJokes kyu ghar aa kar mere kapde dhone hai ?,@PlusOneJokes want to wash my clothes at my home ?
".@NitishKumar sare moral courage ka theka Modi ne liya hai kya? tum jo chor-uchakke Lalu ki bahon me jhool rahe ho, where's ur moral courage",has modi taken all responsibility for moral courage @NitishKumar? where is your moral courage when you are swinging in the arms of corrupt lalu
"* JAI_SHIV_SHANKAR * JACOBABAD MEIN REHNE WALI TAMAM HINDHU BRODRY KO "" MAHASHIVRATRI "" KI LAKH LAKH BHADAI DETE HAIN , BY > @HINDUSANGATJCD ( TEAM )","* jai_shiv_shankar * to all jacobabad's hindu residents, we give you mahashivratri's million congratulations, by @HINDUSANGATJCD (team)"
@LEDtvn kiske liye sly maare jaa rahi hai,@LEDtvn for whom are going on telling a lie
Khoobsurati ke saath jadeja ne phir ek baar hagg diya hai. #IndVsWI,once again jadeja shited with such beauty. #IndVsWI
Aby bhai sarfaraz t hy dhoka nae dyga.,"brother sarfaraz is t, he will not cheat"
and the 4th one is for harry styles !  !  &lt,33333
"Rahul Gandhi : Bhaad mein jao Tum sab , mein nahi khelta politics-volitics . #RahulOnLeave","rahul gandhi : go to hell you all , i don't play politics-volitics . #RahulOnLeave"
@Vyomnaut Kejriwal ne Ashutosh ko bhi khulla chhod rakha hai.. Khatarnaak.. bohot hi zyada khatarnaak,@Vyomnaut kejriwal has given ashutosh full freedom.. risky.. very risky
you could talk to the admission committe in cie  .  because the mistake was by du itself  !,you could talk to the admission committee in cie  .  because the mistake was by du itself  !
"@dedh_battery pata hai, mujhe ashcharya hota hai investors par, kitne bewakoof hain, ya phir ye IITians bade shatir, like kejri lol","@dedh_battery i know, i am suprised by these investors, how foolish they are, or are these iitians very cunning, like kejri laugh out loud"
Subah ka bhula raat ko ghar aaya hai.https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/669237065964322816 …,it is never too late to mend.https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/669237065964322816 …
kab tak contra k 2nd stage mei phasa rhega .  .  . best 1  !  !  !  !  !,until when are you going to be stuck in 2nd stage of contra. . . . best 1 !
Kuchh ek word #MumbaiTerrorAttack per bhi ho jaye ... Ya vo #aap ke manifesto nahin hai .. Ya pradhanmantri ban ne ke baad he bologe sir ji,"can we have some words on #MumbaiTerrorAttack  ... or is it not in the manifesto of #aap .. or are you going to talk after becoming prime minister, sir"
Sir @ashutosh83B aapka ye movie pyracee ke baare mein kya khayal hai?,sir @ashutosh83B what are your thoughts on movie piracy?
"Aaj kal tere mere pyar ke charche har zubaan par, sabko maalum hai aur sabko khabar hogayi. 
Could you just play it low profile woman?","nowdays, your and mine love story is being disscussed by everyone, everyone knows and everyone has got the news
Could you just play it low profile woman?"
pradeep tiwari tumhare liye special  .  .  .,"special for you, pradeep tiwari"
@balliawalebaba Ab Bihar me aayegi bahaar #GoodByeNitishKumar,@balliawalebaba now there will be flood of good days in bihar #GoodByeNitishKumar
are abhi to Dus minuts baki hai Bhai....,still 10 miniutes are left brother
"""Sir isne AAP ko vote diya tha.. Ab dekho iska kya haal ho gaya hai..""pic.twitter.com/U0c3wWwrjy","sir, he voted for aap. now see what happened to him"
#RoyalBaby sirf ek hi hai.pic.twitter.com/hWDYRYUwnH,there is only one #RoyaltBaby. pic.twitter.com/hWDYRYUwnH
.@ArvindKejriwal kaam karne ka ek bahana.. Na karne ke hazaar,".@ArvindKejriwal one excuse for doing, while thousands for not doing"
missus abhi mayke gai hai.,missus have gone to her mother's home
Mam .. yeh jo apne room mw baith k aap Rita ji aur anya netaon k #Mannkibaat jaan leti hai .. yeh bhi ek talent hai ..,Mam .. while sitting in the room you know the #Mannkibaat of Rita and other politicians .. this is some talent ..
@cajetanvaz Canon. Because Canon ke haath bahut lambi hoti hai.,@cajetanvaz law. because law canreach anywhere.
"Bhaiyo aur unki baheno, tumhare blogs mein meri tweets nahi dekhni. Me khud apni TL pe apni tweets nahi dekhta.","brothers and sisters, i don't want to see my tweets in your blogs. i don't even see my tweets in my timeline"
hahaha shan ko dekh kr school ke din yaad aagaye  .  .  .  .  .  .  .,(laughs) i remembered my school days after seeing shan
@SimplySajidK good. banane ki to sochna bhi mat,@SimplySajidK good. don't think of becoming
@sachin_rt @imVkohli jab stand me ho bhagwan ( sachin ) to kya bigad lega pakistan . . .,"@sachin_rt @imVkohli when god ( sachin ) is on the stand, then what can pakistan do"
hello sir aap online ataa ho pata b nai chalta kab ataa ho aur chale jaate ho :(,"hello sir, its difficult to find when you come online and when you go offline again"
"Wo kaam karte rahe, hum movies dekhte rahe'","he goes on doing the work, while i watch movies"
@Prakashjaaju 10 bhi pahuch jaye to baki ke 5 mujhse le lena.,"@Prakashjaaju if you reach 10, take the rest 5 from me"
टीम इंडिया के पास K L Rahul है और कांग्रेस के पास K L P D Rahul,team india has k l rahul and congress has klpd rahul
#Nawaz ke saath Biryani aur Ab #Trump ke saath Dinner 0 Bahut Yarana Lagta Hai !,biriyani with #Nawaz and now dinner with #Trump. seems so friendly !
"@kkundra @kritika_kamra ajeeb h , kata tha nail aur pain ho rha h finger mei .. ' Mai pareshan .. pareshan .. pareshan ' Well Gud Mrng :) eee smile : *","@kkundra @kritika_kamra strange thing , i cut my nails but my fingers are paining .. ' i am annoyed .. annoyed .. annoyed ' well good morning :) smile : *"
"""Aae tu to chala gaya.. Us gadhe ko mere liye chhod gaya.."" #RememberingRajivpic.twitter.com/feHaIwlqK5",you went away and left that donkey for me #RememberingRajivpic.twitter.com/feHaIwlqK5
student 3 aur school bag 2  .  .  .  . bahot na .  .  . insaafi hai ye .  .  .,3 students and 2 school bags . . . . too much . . .this is injustice. . .
@MildlyClassic  aap jaisa fan pakar hum dhay ho gaye :) honoured bhai :),@MildlyClassic  i am blessed to have a fan like you :) honoured brother :)
Aaj meri admission thi. But bed nahi mila. Isliye admission ho nahi payi. Isliye main yaha chali ayi. :) :) :),today was my admission. but  bed was not available. so admission could not be done. so i came here
cm bn gya kejriwall .  .  .  . 1oo%,kejriwall became chief minister. . . . 100%
@iamGunjanGrunge @hitennarendra safed paani ki jheel ho kaa be ?,@iamGunjanGrunge @hitennarendra is this the water from white lake ?
Ishq me #Goli aur #Run _ chase me #Kohli na chale to maja nahi aata #Dhoni ki stumping aur heart pumping ek saman Hoti hai 0 #ViruPanti #INDvAUS,in love #Goli and in #Run _ chase if #Kohli doesn't perform then there is no enjoyment. #Dhoni 's stumping and heart's pumping is the same #ViruPanti #INDvAUS
we are here @someUSER for our 12th anniversary celebration .  you still have time to make it - 6620 s .  king dr,we are here @someUSER for our 12th anniversary celebration .  you still have time to make it
Gaon mein bijli nhi aur #DigitalIndia bann rhe hain ... Company saari bideshi aur #MakeInIndia keh rhe hain ...,there is no electricity in villages and they are making #DigitalIndia ... all companies are from foreign and they are saying #MakeInIndia
RT @SwadhaShankar : Jo amrit pite h unhe Dev lehte h n jo Vish pite h unhe Devo k Dev #Mahadev kehte h #Mahashivratri Lord Shiva,retweet @SwadhaShankar : thoes who drink honey dew they are called gods and thoes who drink poison they are called the god of gods #Mahadev #Mahashivratri Lord Shiva
@Atheist_Krishna @HathwalaThakur  kaun shaadi kar raha hai uske saath?!,@Atheist_Krishna @HathwalaThakur  who is marrying him?!
@IamVibhor_  kabhi socha hain aise bhi lag sakti hain vaat?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI&feature=youtu.be … #LagGayiVaat Shine,@IamVibhor_  have you ever thought that you can fall in trouble in this way?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI&feature=youtu.be … #LagGayiVaat Shine
"Moral of the story: BAAP BAAP HOTA HAI, AUR BETA, BETA! #IndvsPak",Moral of the story: don't teach a father how to make babies! #IndvsPak
Sahi time pe kalti maar lena chahiye 0 Warna gile shikwe shuru ho jaate hai - #YJHD / #MSD,"one should turn back at the right time, otherwise complaints start comming - #YJHD / #MSD"
@Fussy_Ca aur kal subah Bakra halaal  @RoflModi_ @VyangyaPuraan,@Fussy_Ca and tomorrow morning it is bakra halaal  @RoflModi_ @VyangyaPuraan
@madhurahnaikHappyMahaShivratriCuteMadhura Naik Ji Har Har MahaDev,@madhurahnaikHappyMahaShivratriCuteMadhura leader 'har har mahadev'
@MehekMahtani aap banao.. Mere liye,@MehekMahtani you make.. for me
Copy karte ho.. Khulla bhi bolte ho.. Phir gyaan kyu pelte ho.. pic.twitter.com/5DaRGloSXZ,you copy.. you tell it in public.. then why do you show off.. pic.twitter.com/5DaRGloSXZ
@huh_watnow tumhare haath ka to hum zeher bhi kha lenge,@huh_watnow i will even dink poison from your hands
cc @ArvindKejriwal lagta hai PayTM ne Modiji ko paise dena band kar diyahttps://twitter.com/nationalizer/status/814796685109067776 …,@ArvindKejriwal it seems paytm has stopped providing money to mr modiji diyahttps://twitter.com/nationalizer/status/814796685109067776 …
Itni raat ko Ishant Sharma? Mia Khalifa ka kuch bhejo jarahttps://twitter.com/its_Saiyesh/status/647859546048716800 …,so late at night ishant sharma? send something of mia khalifa https://twitter.com/its_Saiyesh/status/647859546048716800 …
"Indian Soldier: Aur aaj kal desh mein kya chal raha hai?
Pak Soldier: Chutyappa","indian soldier: what is going on in the country these days?
pak soilder: stupidity"
@MhaAgyaani hit list me sabse oopar kiska naam hai,@MhaAgyaani who is at the top of the hit list
"Brilliant bhi bolte hai aur gaali bhi dete hai log 
INSAAF KAHAN HAI MILORD?https://twitter.com/schatrath/status/811657553054724096 …","they say brillint and even use abusive words
where will i find justice my lord?https://twitter.com/schatrath/status/811657553054724096 …"
rohan sikka this one is ultimate .  .  sharma ji toh mortal combat karne lage .  .,rohan sikka this one is ultimate .  . mr sharma started doing mortal combat .  .
bade log milkar ek kanya ke saath... Patriarchy. Damn.,big male people with one girl... Patriarchy. Damn.
@YearOfRat Dhanyawad sir :),@YearOfRat thanks sir :)
@Atheist_Krishna @HathwalaThakur ho sakta hai!,@Atheist_Krishna @HathwalaThakur it can be done!
"haha, twitter piya hua hai. Aaj friday hai","(laughs), twitter is drunk today, as it is friday"
Medicine kabhi sweet nahi hoti pr fir v hmare body ko thik karti hai. Like #noteban and #GST,medicine is never sweet but still makes our body get well. like #noteban and #GST
Suno @ManUtd LVG in Manchester United is like Arvind Kejriwal ruling Delhi.  Kuch samjhe?,listen @ManUtd lvg in manchester united is like arvind kejriwal ruling delhi.  understood anything?
@Being_Humor @WatDaDuck_ @KyaUkhaadLega ha ha ha ek haseen 9jawan ke liye aisi baat kar uski market value kam mat karo :),@Being_Humor @WatDaDuck_ @KyaUkhaadLega (laughs) do not reduce the market value of such a young man by talking like this :)
Rajiv Gandhi 'Rajiv Gandhi ki chaatate raho' yojnahttps://twitter.com/firstpost/status/656519916107927553 …,rajiv gandhi 'be fans of rajiv gandhi' yojna https://twitter.com/firstpost/status/656519916107927553 …
Salman vai aap sadhi krlo plzzz...,please marry salman brother
@coolfunnytshirt L guard to abhi se pehan rakha hai. Waise maine Dale Steyn ko ek chakka to marna hi hai.,@coolfunnytshirt wearing l guard by now. by the way i want to hit a six agains dayle steyn
"ye kia waja hai k west aur asia mein 98% wo log hotay hain jin ka taluq ""secularism aur liberalism say hota ""hai jo bacho aurto ka rape kertay hain?","what is the reason that 98% people from the west and asia who believe in secularism and liberalism, rape young gilrs and women ?"
I love you. I fill you. I think you and marnasa pahla apsa 1bar milongga jaroor. I'm from Bangladesh.,I love you. I feel you. I think about you and i want to meet you once. I'm from Bangladesh.
wowwwwww omg aaj kyu nahi ............love u salman,wow ohh my god why not now............love u salman
"Kal kya hoga kisko pata, abhi apne paiso ka le lo mazapic.twitter.com/cznbNh3SZD",who knows what will happen tomorrow. enjoy your money now pic.twitter.com/cznbNh3SZD
@Dishasatra @premlata_rai jabardasti ke kitne dost banaye hai aaj tak?,@Dishasatra @premlata_rai how many useless friends i have made by now?
@Atheist_Krishna shaadi ho gayee uski.. Ab kya fayda,@Atheist_Krishna he is married.. what's the benefit now
@Omeghaa_ Yayy yayyy yayy tikki khaaenge,@Omeghaa_ Yayy yay i will eat tikki
Jo #indians abhi bhi calendar dekh k non-veg khaate hai ab unhe #GST kon samjhaaye,"thoes #indians who eats not-veg after seeing the calender, who will make them understang about #GST"
@waqasirshad1989 i don't think so .. Dhoni accha khel raha hai,@waqasirshad1989 i don't think so .. Dhoni is playing well
"@shivanimehra86 Shivani Mehra 86, mujhe lagta hai Maine tumhe pehle kahin dekha hai.","@shivanimehra86 shivani mehra 86, i think i have seen you somewhere."
"Asli diwali to iss baar China wale mana rahe honge.. Sasti light, creative diye aur mazedaar patakho ke saath.. Bwahahaa","this year real diwali would be celebrated by the chinese .. with cheap lights, creative lamps and fun firecrackers.."
@HudDangee yaha sab jayaz hai,@HudDangee all is fair here
"Catches drop karne waale South Africans, Jonty maaf nahin karegi.","Catches droper South Africans, Jonty will not forgive."
tu phir aagaya mere aur ladkiyon ke beech?,you will come again between me and the girls?
"@poonamkhatri Mujhe hamesha se hi shak tha, aaj yakeen ho gaya @NehaT_","@poonamkhatri i always had a doubt, today i am sure @NehaT_"
agar izzat nahi rahi to ucchalo bhi mat yaar ( y ),"i there is no respect left, then don't even do it dude"
"Aur bhi gam hai duniya mein mohabbat ke siwa, daaru ke paise.",there is more sorrow in the world than in love. where in my money for the beer
@khusshhagrawal can't wait yaar . I'm in office . Accha atleast give me some hint * Maine bhi diya tha :p,@khusshhagrawal can't wait yaar . I'm in office . ok atleast give me some hint. i also gave you once :p
cuz that's what women like to do,because that's what women like to do
Is se accha tha barish hi ho jati😵😵😳😳😥😥😥 atleast match cancel ho jata😂😂😂😉😉😉😝😝😝,"it would have been better if rain had happened, atleast the match would have been cancled"
#WhatMothersWant JOOTE GHAR KE BAAHAR NIKAALO,#WhatMothersWant open the shoes outside the house
.@TheRahulMahajan aankh laal ho rahi hai.. Conjunctivitis hoga,.@TheRahulMahajan eyes are becoming red.. it maybe conjunctivitis
@sona2905 heading edited lag rahi hai. aur neeche ka news details bhi kuchh aur hai :),@sona2905 heading seems edited. also the news details below are something else :)
@TweetErrant oh ye to ishaan awasthi kr papa hai,@TweetErrant oh this is ishaan awasthi's father
@GhantaGuy @krazyfrog Warna paani chala jayega,@GhantaGuy @krazyfrog warna water will go away
@anubhasawhney Drill hai ki manta nahi.,@anubhasawhney my heart is not agreeing
@Addi_Salman chalo accha hai bhai , ab kuch ? Lol😎 Waiting for SULTAN Poster 💪
@BhayanakPuppy Hahah pata nahi bhai.. use pankhe theek karne jana tha shayad :P,@BhayanakPuppy (laughs) don't know brother. i think he had to go to repair fans. :P
@zoomphatak apna waada yaad rakhna,@zoomphatak remember your promise
"WHAT!?!

Ye tweet padh kar tumhara fuse udd jayega https://twitter.com/atta6019/status/813308323978035200 …","what?

you will go mad after reading this tweet https://twitter.com/atta6019/status/813308323978035200"
Salman ji sirf mera hai .....hai naa salman aur oss k lye main kuch b kar sakte ......,"salman is mine only, right salman and i will do anything for him"
RT @SaadHere_ : Wow yar Pakistani khawateen to kaam ki nikleen ! Congratulations Pakistani Women .,RT @SaadHere_ : wow pakistani women turned out to be useful ! congratulations pakistani women.
Chalo be bohot maze le liye.. Khana khao aur so jao.. Sunday enjoy kar be,"lets go, we enjoyed too much.. now eat and go to sleep.. enjoy sunday"
@TangledDokhtar @bhak_sala ee na ho sake,@TangledDokhtar @bhak_sala this is not possible
For those who are asking why. 2 saal pehle ki baat hai. Bhabhi ne reply diya ki tum kaunsi duniya me rehte ho https://twitter.com/LOLendraSingh/status/444167684712693760 …,For those who are asking why. it happened 2 years ago. aunty replied which world do you live https://twitter.com/LOLendraSingh/status/444167684712693760 …
@kaalia_bhatt Bas mere MBA ke profs ko ye baat samaj nahi aayee.. :D @KyaUkhaadLega @Being_Humor @HathwalaThakur @Ra_Bies,@kaalia_bhatt only just my mba professors did not understand these words.. :D @KyaUkhaadLega @Being_Humor @HathwalaThakur @Ra_Bies
Dhoni gloves nikaale tabhi miracle hota hai.,"when dhoni removes his gloves, miracles happen"
"@someUSER i know thats what im saying lol tucker straight outkicked cundiff in camp ,  i'm glad he's gone .  didnt he miss one in the 4th qtr ? ","@someUSER i know thats what im saying lol tucker straight outkicked cundiff in camp ,  i'm glad he's gone .  didnt he miss one in the 4th quater ?"
"@Sand_In_Deed abhi abhi kabar aayi hai, woh hi chavvani ka role diya hoga, jaise pehle hamare actors ke saath ho chuka hai!","@Sand_In_Deed just now got a news that they gave a small role, like what happened to our actors"
Kay baat hai bhai jaan....,what's the matter brother
@HathwalaThakur bhai lagta aaj hum dono trend honge @KyaUkhaadLega,"@HathwalaThakur brother, it seems we are going to be on the trend @KyaUkhaadLega"
@MeetUunngLee bhai pakka aana,@MeetUunngLee come for sure brother
Mote @thetanmay aaj tera din hai.. 10 May..,fat @thetanmay today is your day.. 10 May..
bachpan mein master ji shararat mein guddu k baap rahe honge .  .  is umar tak bhi inki shaitaani dimaag bilkul active hai .  .,"in childhood, marter might have been guddu's father. even in his age, his mischievious mind is still active"
Diwali bonus aa gaya hai . Koi group chhodke jana mat . Fursat milte hi baant diya jayega .,"diwali bonus has arrived. no one leaves the group. whenever i get leisure time, it will be divided"
Swag Swag karte karte Smog Smog aa gaya. #DelhiSmog,"while there was swag, smog came in. #DelhiSmog"
Zindagi me partner hona bhi Zaroori he yaar ...,in life a partner is necessary
"@subhashshobhda Bihar me BJP ko Laloo se jyada nuksaan Shatrughan Sinha ne pahuchaya hai.
 #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan","@subhashshobhda in bihar, shatrughan sinha hurt bjp more than laloo
#BiharkaJaichandShatrughan"
@bhaiyyajispeaks haha.. Haath dho kar aana bhaiyya ji ,) @Atheist_Krishna
mungerilal ke haseen sapne .  .  aapne to ekdum jeevit kardiya bhai .  .,mungerilal's beautiful dream. made me come back to life brother
class 2 me to 99% adhe class ko aate hai  .  .  .  tu sach me mature nahi hai,"in class 2, half of the class gets 99%. you are really not mature"
@sonamakapoor accha to fir aaj trend me sonam kapoor ke alawa naya kya chal raha hai.,@sonamakapoor ok what new is now on trend except for sonam kapoor
"Paise mile tab tak theek hai, 50% discount on market rate dene ko taiyaar hu main. Sirf 5 lakh","if i get money then its okay, i am ready to give a 50% discount on market rate. only 5 lakhs"
"Aaj main upar, Aasman neeche' 
*Missionary*","today i am above the sky
*Missionary*"
"Sir @ArvindKejriwal 2017 aa gaya.. Isme koi Modi ji ki saazish nahi hai

Get well soon","sir @ArvindKejriwal 2017 has came. modi had no conspiracy in this

Get well soon"
Ye tum US walon ka problem kya hai bhai?,"what is your problem, citizens of the US"
idiot advertisment shame on .  .,shame on idiot advertisment
aur wo dd1 pe raat ko aane wala new year musical show .  .  .,and that new year musical show that come at night on dd1
"Pitch hai kisi aashiq ka dil, bahut buri tarah se toota hai. #INDvsAUS","pitch is some lover's heart, it has been broken very badly. #INDvsAUS"
BHARAT MATA KI JAI !!,vactorious india !!
"hii frnds yeh mera page hai  , aap sab is page ko dil se ek like kardo ,  jo v like karega main use add kar lungi .  .  . ","hi friends, this is my page. like this page with your heart. anyone who likes this page, i will add them"
@juventino1978 Ab wahan jaakar Gram Gram khaana khana.,@juventino1978 now go there and eat good and warm food
mortal combat me power kaise chalatey they .,how to use power in mortal combat
aisi ummeed nhi thi aapse bhaijaan. . DIL tod diya sbka :-(,i did'n expect tis from you brother. you broke my heart :-(
@MeetUunngLee Yeh hi haalat hai but abhi hotness hai toh hai.,@MeetUunngLee this is the condition but still got hottness
#SupremeCourt ko qubool hai qubool hai qubool hai right to privacy #RightToPrivacy,#SupremeCourt has accepted accepted accepted right to privacy #RightToPrivacy
"RT @govindec082 : Congress reacts to #RailBudget2015 , says , "" UPA policies repackaged "" NAMO : - "" Tumhe sudharne hi to aaye hain ""","retweet @govindec082 : congress reacts to #RailBudget2015 , says , "" upa policies repackaged "" namo : - "" came here to improve you """
.@ArvindKejriwal badhai ho sir aap papa ban gaye.,.@ArvindKejriwal congrats on becoming a father.
@hitlerbai Gabbar ko last me phansi ho gayee tha ,)
Batting acchi nahi par bowling faaltu hai.,Batting is not good but bowling is non sense.
Salman bhai ji ko Namastey Salaam.ye Eid apki superhit ho.jai bajrangbali.,greetings to salman. let your eid be a superhit. victory bajrangbali.
@Alllahdin ye main kahaaaan aagaye  hum??,@Alllahdin where did i came??
@Jal_Kukdi Congrats !! SHaadi ki taiyaari shuru kar do,@Jal_Kukdi congrats !! start arrangement for the wedding
@apar_saraswat jab tak talent nahi aata :(, @apar_saraswat untill does not get talent.
atibir singh Thanks for the follow !,"thanks for the follow, atibir singh."
Haan Modi ji. 2 log aaye hain. Aapke tailor ka pata puch rahe thepic.twitter.com/LDYnYdPpIP,yes modi ji. two peple have came. asking for your (movie) trailer. picture : twitter.com/LDYnYdPpIP
RT @cricBC : Check out this piece on Captain Iceman . Dhoni the superhero . By @chetannarula https://t.co/OP3AcfNhLk,retweet @cricBC : Check out this piece on Captain Iceman. Dhoni the superhero. By @chetannarula https://t.co/OP3AcfNhLk
if you are this active on fb chances are you won't be getting to iit in the first place  .  keep dreaming  .,if you are this active on facebook chances are you won't be getting to iit in the first place. keep dreaming  .
@slimswamy aur bhi bahut likha tha sir. Padhiyega.,@slimswamy there was written more. read that.
@oshowed sahi bol raha hai :/,@oshowed saying the right thing.
@engg89 cheers. Jai Maharashtra! _/\_,@engg89 cheers. Live Long Maharashtra.
Raksha Shinde SALMAN insha Allah zaror help karenge...,"raksha sindhe, salman will insha allah surely help you."
"RT @MTR_Dishcovery : Get crowned as the kitchen superhero , this #WomensDay . Share your awesome #cooking tip now ! #MyDishcovery https://t.co","retweet @MTR_Dishcovery : Get crowned as the kitchen superhero , this #WomensDay . Share your awesome #cooking tip now ! #MyDishcovery https://t.co"
Chachi bhi delete krengi ab previous tweets . ache fast ballers se jyada india ko akalmand politicians chahie modi https://t.co/YhYpymRcMN,"chchi will also delete previous tweets. modi, India needs smart politians than fast ballers https://t.co/YhYpymRcMN"
haha abhi online hi tha. Aaj to trailer hai,(laugh) i was online now. today the trailer is going to release.
@twinitisha ok. Hamari dosti ke beech me biwi ko mat lao,@twinitisha ok. don't bring your wife between our friendship.
"Jeewan mein Kushal Mangal dono hai, magar Shraddha aur Bhavna nahi hai.
#SingleGuyProblem","there are many male friends in my life but not female friends
#SingleGuyProblem"
Devlope sirf sahro me hota hai gawo me nahi.,development happens only in cities not in villages.
"Badh raha apraadh ban rahe hathyaar

 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar","crime is increasing and weapons are being made.

#BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar"
"asia stocks mostly up on us ,  china data: asian stock markets advanced friday as a batch of upbeat economic data from the u . s .  and chi .  .  . ","asia stocks mostly up on us ,  china data: asian stock markets advanced friday as a batch of upbeat economic data from the u . s .  and china.  .  ."
Didi @SethShruti itna rona-dhona karne ke bad account to verify ho gaya par TV mein koi chhota-mota role bhi mila kya?,"sister, @SethShruti you got your account verified after lots of drama. but did you get any role in television?"
@supaarwoman @rushingquark Mujhe na koi zone ke naam dikhayi dete hai na sunayi dete hai... Sirf ek zone... drunk zone,@supaarwoman @rushingquark i can not see or listen any other zone except drunk zone. 
"help me smart peeps: i need to get from the city to alsip ,  back to the city on a friday night .  cheapest way to go ?  (it's for a wedding)","help me smart peeps: i need to get from the city to as soon as possible ,  back to the city on a friday night .  cheapest way to go ?  (it's for a wedding)"
"@IamVibhor_ Suno gaur se Duniya walon, Aao milke @CostaCoffeeInd ke saath ek #FREEDOMASH bana lo :)","@IamVibhor_  all iworld listen carefully , come together @CostaCoffeeInd and make it  #FREEDOMASH one :)"
"Suna hai, magar ek swag unka hai","heared, but he has a swag."
"@aniket51082 yes, uska purpose hi yahi hai."," @aniket51082 yes, it is only his/her purpose."
"@Areenge beta jakey parhai karo , aage wohi kaam aegi","@Areenge go and study son, it will be most helpful in future."
He lost the wrist watch he is wearing in this pic !.... :D,he lost the wrist watch he is wearing in this pic !
"@perky_girl16 khud le lo poll, jo tumhe pasand hai mujhe woh pasand nahi hai. Kya problem hai Usmein?","@perky_girl16 took poll herself, whatever you like, i don't like that . what is problem in this?"
"@someUSER follow @someUSER  ,  find her on november 26 .  meet her .  she'll be at the bell center by 4:00pm its her dream 2 meet u !  ! 90","@someUSER follow @someUSER  ,  find her on november 26 .  meet her .  she'll be at the bell center by 4:00pm its her dream 2 meet you !  ! 90"
"""Ma'm aap online payment kar sakti hai credit card se""

Maine kisi ke baap se udhaar nahi li, credit ki baat karta hai? Tera kya credit hai?","you can do online payment by credit card, madam 

i have not brought from anyone. what do (you) talk about credit? what is your credit?"
RT republic: Ye bhi sanyog hai ki Geeta ke bhi 18 adhyaay thay aur #GST Council ki bhi 18 meetings hui: PM Modi at #MidnightGSTLaunch,retweet republic: is this also a coincidence that geeta had 18 chapters and #GST Council also had 18 meetings: PM Modi at #MidnightGSTLaunch
@AdvancedMaushi Mein bhi jaa raha hu peene :),@AdvancedMaushi i am also going to drink :)
@bruiselee @c_aashish kaka aap jaise customers ke liye hi toh yeh services hain. Yeh gareeb log faltu chill pau macha rahe hain,@bruiselee @c_aashish uncle this cervice is only for coustomers like you. these poor people are creating chill unnecessarily.
"Bhai "" yeh wale global yogi hai from selfie generation .... pehle walon ke liye apne publicity ke liye sarkari tantra kaafi tha #MakeInIndia","brother "" these are global yogi from selfie generation .... for previous ones government system was sufficient for their publicity. #MakeInIndia"
"RT @shrishtimona : kabhi kabhi to ye sonch ke bdi hasi a jati hai ki , Neil Nitin Mukesh ke bete ka naam kya hoga .","retweet @shrishtimona : sometimes a lots of laughter comes for this thought, what will be the name of neil nitin mukesh's son."
#GST is a good step... Aap ne tau desh ka beda gark karne Ki kasam khai hai,#GST is a good step...you have sworn to make condition of nation ill.
"@RowdyTalks waise gandhagi karne mein hujm peeche nahi hai, pencil ko bhi kaa/gaand mein daal kar khuja sakte hai zaroorat padne par",# 
@LagharVaghar so ja bhai,"@LagharVaghar go to sleep, brother. "
Kya ukhaad leta?https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/890445884907032577 …,what could you have done? https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/890445884907032577 …
So I suppose BOtS have done #GST or #DeMonetisationDisaster Vikas k saath Smriti bhi pagal ho gayi hai,So I suppose votes have done #GST or #DeMonetisationDisaster smriti has gone mad alongwith development.
Brlnt Ans By bf on Brk Up . Girl , Tmhe Mere Jaisi Ladki Nahi Milegi . Boy Chil swthrt Mjhe Tu Hi Ni Psnd To Teri Jaise Kyu dhudunga
"1. Salman bhai
2. Salman bhai
3. SRK
https://twitter.com/taran_adarsh/status/678162909000769536 …","
1. salman brother
1. salman brother
3. SRK
https://twitter.com/taran_adarsh/status/678162909000769536 …"
LOL! Teja ye hai. Mark idhar hai...oops!https://twitter.com/IndiaToday/status/773519341849640960 …,laugh out loud! this is teja. there is mark...oops!https://twitter.com/IndiaToday/status/773519341849640960 …
@YearOfRat @MeetUunngLee LOL. Hadd hai ye!,@YearOfRat @MeetUunngLee laugh out loud. this is the limit.
Ek new status pe baat krte haii ,)
"#OldMonkWhen
Saathiya ye tune kya kiya?","#OldMonkWhen
what did you do, partner?"
.@sagarikaghose ab baarish bhi Modi jo karwaenge ?? Kyu paglu aurat,@sagarikaghose now will modi make it rain? what mad woman?
RT @Nawabzaadaa : Manhoosiyaat ki dukaan #imrankhan #imrankhan #pak #ind #TeamIndia #PAKvsIND #IndvsPak #WT20 #pak https://t.co/ygaMJSTOuT,retweet @Nawabzaadaa : very much unlucky #imrankhan #imrankhan #pak #ind #TeamIndia #PAKvsIND #IndvsPak #WT20 #pak https://t.co/ygaMJSTOuT
@IAmTathagat Hum to abhi bhi Naturopathy Yoga pe hans rahe hai bhai @bhak_sala @OpIndia_com,"@IAmTathagat we are still laughing on Naturopathy Yoga, brother @bhak_sala @OpIndia_com"
you earned my like :d .,you earned my like. 
@friendlii_ghost tu jo bhi network pe jaata hai wo band ho jaata hai,@friendlii_ghost on whichever network you switch that network shuts down.
#RailBudget2015 Kudos to sureshpprabhu & narendramodi keep up on #LAB and #Budget2015 #bigontop,#RailBudget2015 Kudos to sureshpprabhu and narendramodi keep up on #LAB and #Budget2015 #bigontop
Kal daaru ki ganga bahegi. #IndvsBan,it will be raining wine tommorow #IndvsBan
.@British_Airways chyamaila kona barobar boltos re asa? Tumchi maartoch aata thaamb. MARATHYA UPAS TUJHI TALWAR @sachin_rt,# 
@ImRaina to pelte hi ja raha hai,@ImRaina is continue to hit well
@narendramodi ji #surgicalstrike part 2 ka time aa Gaya hai ab to bahubali 2 bhi aa Gaya ye kab aa Raha hai ...,"@narendramodi ji now time has come for #surgicalstrike part 2. bahubali 2 has come now, when it is coming?"
"@TadkaSingh tadka singh ji, aapki baato me hamesha se bohot dam hota hai","@TadkaSingh mr. tadka singh, there is lot of weight in your conversation."
@Insane_chorri pagal ho gaya hai,@Insane_chorri gone mad?
RT @YuvaiTV : Tyagi and Khaitan are examples of ' Behti Ganga me Haath Dho lena ' : RM @manoharparrikar in LS #AgustaWestlandScam https://t.co/,RT @YuvaiTV : Tyagi and Khaitan are examples of 'take benefits of current opportuniy' : RM @manoharparrikar in LS #AgustaWestlandScam https://t.co/
"Ye naya bhikari kaun hai @KaminaPun ? Attention lene aa gaya

@witchybitchygal @drmalvika6","who is this new beggar? @KaminaPun come here to get attention.

@witchybitchygal @drmalvika6"
"magar hum donon ko bilkul mazza nahi aata :'( 
:P","But we both did not get fun at all.  :'( 
:P"
KABHI KABHI ACCHA BOLTA HAI .... GOOD ONE https://t.co/EWkgnBHtMl,@TheRahulMahajan shame sir...what did you show?..was sleeping sound in office..waken up
"breaking dawn is coming out on the 16th  ,  yayyy","some times he speaks well, good one https://t.co/EWkgnBHtMl"
Can You Take It Ravish Kumar ? : http://t.co/ZjDpAhxrgX via @youtube #ndtv #ravishkumar,"breaking dawn is coming out on the 16th , yeah"
bhai ye sab desh drohi ki jaat hai @im_rabspic.twitter.com/65jYq2VNHX,"brother, this all is the caste of traitor  @im_rabspic.twitter.com/65jYq2VNHX"
@hydbadshah haan bhai @flipkartsupport,@hydbadshah yes brother @flipkartsupport
"kewal 20 second me .  ,  ! ",Only in 20 seconds. 
"AAP ne Delhi mein apna jhaadu chala kar khud ko saaf kar diya.
#JaiHo","AAP (political party) swiped itself from delhi for their own actions.
#JaiHo"
@Singhlicious bina ram ke laptop kaise chalta hai be,@Singhlicious how does this laptop work without ram?
"@sayshardik dekh na, nahi bol sakta","@sayshardik look it, can not speak"
tu dono le le bhai.,You keep the both.
@cityslicker_me DP dekh kar koi nahi bolta. Humko toh 25 log correct kar dete aur bewda bolte so alag,@cityslicker_me (i) don't say by seeing display picture. 25 people correct me and say me drunk as well.
"Chalni karde seena..
Ek aur galti karde Carolina..","give  unbearable pain.
commit one more mistake, carolina"
@MohitParmarr Bhai kisi dilli wali ne dil toda kya tumhara?,"@MohitParmarr brother, did any delhi girl break your heart?"
"Haha, ye alag breed hai Bandra women","(laugh) this is a new breed of woman, bandra woman"
"RT @k01768938 : @sangita_salman Saw phool khele jab ye khele roop sunhara , saw chand bana jab ye bana chand sa chehra . Accha laga sangita !","retweet @k01768938 : @sangita_salman flowers bloom, when this beauty blooms, moon makes when the face made like moon. sounds good sangita !"
"@Alllahdin https://instagram.com/p/2qKNVPj6kW/  ye dekh, like kar","@Alllahdin https://instagram.com/p/2qKNVPj6kW/ see it, like it."
"Chahe kitna bhi bada mahagathbandhan kar lo, aakhir mein BJP ne dhoti utaar hi di.","However big the alignment was, bjp won."
@scratchysingh block karna har samasya ka samadhan nahi hai @LoKarDi_RT,@scratchysingh blocking is not the solution of every problem @LoKarDi_RT
.@JhaSanjay ek baat to aapko maan ni padegi sir. Modi ji nahi hote to aaj aapke paas koi kaam nahi hota aur ghar chalana mushkil ho jata.,"@JhaSanjay sir, you will have to agree on this thing. if modi did not exist then you would have no work to do and it would have become hard to earn livlihood for family."
rashtrawad led by kiran bedi ki jeet hogi  !,rashtrawad led by kiran bedi will win  !
@wrogn_ kyu kuch nahi?, @wrogn_ why nothing?
@dhaval241086 bots nahi hai woh @UniqueIdiot_ ke pets hai..,@dhaval241086 these is not bots. these are pets of @UniqueIdiot_ ..
Yeh IIT se kaise pass hua iski jaanch honi chahiyehttps://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/722268629048389632 …,it should be investigated how he passed from iit. https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/722268629048389632 …
"bhai ,  cover up kartey samay pichey ka fens kahan gaya ? ","brother, where have back side fens gone while covering up?"
Bhala meri paad uske paad se badbudar kaisi?https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/847513017650524160 …,"well, how is my fart worse smell than his?https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/847513017650524160 …"
"anyone wanna go see #shedseven at boro on 14th december ?  ?  17 . 50 each .  let me know ,  i really want to go . ","anyone want to go see #shedseven at boro on 14th december ?  ?  17 . 50 each .  let me know ,  i really want to go ."
"Aadha sar Dove se dhoya hai, aap khud hi dekh sakte hai iska asar.pic.twitter.com/KfBsSCRcsC","washed half of the head from dove, you can see the effect yourself.pic.twitter.com/KfBsSCRcsC"
"Also, Nepalis must know this thing;
jo shasha hai wohi bhatisha hai, aur jo bhatisha hai wohi shasha hai, aur jo shasha hai woh hai hi nahi","Also, Nepalis must know this thing;
shaksha is that who is bhatisha, and bhatisha is that who is shaksha, and shaksha is that who does not exist"
@90sWasAwesome Pappu ka kachcha limbu hai @htTweets,@90sWasAwesome pappu's underwear is nepali. @htTweets
RT @TonyKakkar : Ye Bhai kohli hai ya superman .. yayyyyyyyy ... #IndvsAus,retweet @TonyKakkar : is he kohli or superman #IndvsAus
"@kaalia_bhatt @KeepsItRustic yaar ek aadha khamba old monk maanga hai, khoon nahi","@kaalia_bhatt @KeepsItRustic dear i asked for some old monk wine, not for blood."
RT @LeMeBuntty : Pyar Ek Virus Hai Aur Mom Dad Ki Chappal Anti-Virus 🔫,retweet @LeMeBuntty : love is a virus and the slipper of mom and  dadis anti-virus.🔫
mario toh mera fav tha .  . but ab usey ps2 ne replace kar dia .  . uff vo kya din the .  . ab sirf burnout revenge khelti hu .  .,mario used to be my favorite. . but ps2 has replaced it now. .uff these were awesome days. . now i only play bumout revenge.
@someUSER waheed proposed mdp to join the gov prior coni's verdict .  7 feb controversial power transfer refrained mdp joining the govt .,@someUSER waheed proposed mdp to join the government prior coni's verdict .  7 february controversial power transfer refrained mdp joining the government .
"Doosro ka maar ke bana thaa, doosro ka maarne ke chakkar me phasa....","got the name by beating others, got trapped because of others'"
"mujhe to lga tha papa ki band bjne wali h ,  bt yha to chkr hi ulta pd gya .  . ;) :p","i thought papa is going in a deep trouble , but here is different scenario. . ;) :p"
"@FaslaRakhein dad office k kaam me phasay hue hen .. 9 , 9.30 tak aa jae ge ... 😒😒 Yaha wait hi nai ho raha .. 😒😒😕",@FaslaRakhein dad is stuck in office work .. will be back by 9 to 9.30... 😒😒 no one is waiting here .. 😒😒😕
@Babu_Bhaiyaa sir seedha khopdi phodte ho aap,@Babu_Bhaiyaa sir you directly blow up the head.
"@coolfunnytshirt arre arre, bhai ye mazaak nahi hai. :'(","@coolfunnytshirt look brother, it is not a joke."
super duper like .  yehi hota hai sab jagah :),super fantastic like . it happens everywhere:)
"[info] taetiseo will perform on  "" love in asia ""  tomorrow (11/02) at 02:30pm (kst) ,  kbs will broadcast the concert on 13 november at 07:30pm","[info] taetiseo will perform on  "" love in asia ""  tomorrow (11/02) at 02:30pm (korea standard time) ,  korean broadcasting system will broadcast the concert on 13 november at 07:30pm"
Salman gadi aaram se chlana ab wrna jai..l,"salman drive the vehicle slow, otherwise jail."
barbaad hogayi hai duniya Nisha :(,"this world has been ruined, nisha."
@Alllahdin KYUN PAISA PAISA KARTI HAI KYUN PAISE PE TU MARTI HAI????????,"@Alllahdin why do you always chant on money, why do you die for money????????"
"Bill aaj shayar hai, rum aaj nagma hai, sab ye ghazal hai sanam.","bill is like poet today, rum is like song today, all are poetry dear."
"@StarSportsIndia READY FOR TOSS . HEAD IS CALL ITS TAILS "" INDIA WINS TO$$'' TOSS JITA HAI AB MATCH JITO #INDvsPAK","@Starsportsindia ready for toss . head is call its tails "" india Wins toss'' won the toss, now win the match #Indvspak"
"Are bato agar tumhara bahan ko koi rape karke murder karde to tum ahinsa ki raste pe chalkar oose payar se samjaoge "" ki aur kisiko rape nakare ????",well bapu if someone rapes and murders your sister then will you also go for non-violence and explain him in good manner that he should not commit rape?
@richazjoy jalta hai ye @Atheist_Krishna,@richazjoy he gets jealous @Atheist_Krishna
"PAKISTAN KO BAMM SE UDYA DIYA JAAYEGA.

No minister said since 1947.","pakistan wil be bombed.


No minister said since 1947."
haa yaar fatafat ek cartoon post karo :),"yes dear, post a cartoon quickly."
@i_Arhaan abe to ladke se flirt karke karta bhi kya. Accha hua,@i_Arhaan what would you have done to flirt a boy? right thing happened?
"Modi ji in China, ""Mitron, main chai ke saath saath chow-mein aur kabhi kabhi chilli-potato bhi bechta tha"".","mr. modi in china, I used to sell chow-mean and chilli potato along with tea."
"@YearOfRat haha, aajao yaar milne. Main toh nahi aa paya. Bas daaru ki botal le aao"," @YearOfRat (laugh) come on friends to see, I could not come. take wine bottle along."
@retardedwriter @TheVacuumHead LOL..bandh karonye nanga naach. Isse baat mat kar ye shaitaan ki beti hai.,@retardedwriter @TheVacuumHead lol..stop doing this bad deed. don't talk to her she is very bad girl.
tujhe dekha to ye jana :D,i know (how to love) after seeing you.
@i_namanmathur han bhai itni hi hai,"@i_namanmathur yes brother, that is it."
Cc @opindia_com bhai kuch karo inka,"@opindia_com do something of them, brother"
"@Ra_Bies Pootna, Mini Pootna (aurat gabbar) ki watt lagayee.. Maine @akshaykanitkar aur @HathwalaThakur ne mil kar :D","@Ra_Bies Pootna, i cause pootna (laddy rowdy) lots of trouble.. i, @akshaykanitkar and @HathwalaThakur were together :D"
"omg l ki power  ,  lol lol","oh my god power of i , laugh out loud laugh out loud"
@Nomadic_Soul_ kise aankh maari?,@Nomadic_Soul_ to whom you winked?
@someUSER hahaha !  !  i do look good with a greek child !  i'm home tomorrow morning so i'll try skyping you xx,@someUSER (laugh) !  !  i do look good with a greek child !  i will be home by tomorrow morning so i'll try video calling you on skype.
abe chipka nhi hun tv se .  sofe pe baitha hun .  :3,not sticked with  tv .  itting on tha sofa.  :3
@someUSER i went trick or treating every year of high school except senior year only cuz negros was faking .  im going tomorrow too .,@someUSER i went trick or treating every year of high school except senior year only because negros was faking .  i am going tomorrow too .
Aap shadi kab karoge yaar :(,"dear, when will you marry? "
abhi tv pe bank me cricbuzz pe .  .  . jitaenge poore damm se,"now on tv, in bank, on cricbuzz . . . will win from full power."
aaj wala kuch khaas nahi. Total waste.,there is nothing special in today's. it was total waste
Bhai sahab #Demonetisation ka result to dekh liya ab #GST ke bad sayad hi #AccheDin ayenge... Aur sabko chahiye #VIKASH 0 Dekh lo ....,brother you have the result of #Demonatisation. now after #GST #AccheDin will perhaps not come ... and all wants development .see it.
aaj pakistan me kuch logo ko to khana mil hi jaega bacha huahttps://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/781077313140162560 …,today in pakistan at least some people will recieve leftover food. https://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/781077313140162560 …
@TheDilliMirror subah subah teri shakal dekh li.. Pata nahi din kaisa jaega,@TheDilliMirror i watched your face early in the morning..don't know how day will progress.
@minicnair Ankit Lal se photoshop karwayee ?,@minicnair did you get photoshop done by ankit lal?
"observers from un ,  eu ,  cw ,  send to coni  ,  according to this observers what the maldivian have seen live and on tvs on 7 feb are day dream , ","observers from un ,  eu ,  cw ,  send to coni  ,  according to this observers what the maldivian have seen live and on televisions on 7 february are day dream , "
We r the best ,)
himmat wale sushil log  .  .,courageous gentle people.
@NehaYagnik @HITKPKD Chhupenge toh bhi nahin bachenge http://bit.ly/1CoC7ZE  #LalHITMovies @HITKPKD,"@NehaYagnik @HITKPKD even if (we) hide, then also (we) will not survive http://bit.ly/1CoC7ZE  #LalHITMovies @HITKPKD"
"@MehekMahtani Zamana kharaab hai.. Shine lajawaab hai: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI … #LagGayiVaat 
Shine","@MehekMahtani time is bad.. Shine is awesome.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI … #LagGayiVaat 
Shine"
"@kamaalrkhan bhai in 5,70,000 me se 5,67,093 to sirf tujhe gaaliya dene ke liye follow karte hain. ","@kamaalrkhan brother out of 570000, 567093 follow you just to abuse you."
"@Atheist_Krishna ""Arre mujhe nahi Krishna ko dubaoooo... NAHIIIIIIIIIIII""pic.twitter.com/MZFIK5tTlr","@Atheist_Krishna ""arre don't drown me drown to krishna ... noooooo""pic.twitter.com/MZFIK5tTlr"
"so many of these sketches take us back to our days ,  this took me to my science projects ,  made in  "" collaboration ""  with maa . ","so many of these sketches take us back to our days , this took me to my science projects , made in "" collaboration "" with mother ."
@iamsonisinghal Bihar me bahaar ho nitish Kumar baahar ho #NitishKaNakliVikas,"@iamsonisinghal may happiness spread in bihar, may nitish Kumar be out  #NitishKaNakliVikas"
"zindagi ke 35% waqt hagte nahi rahenge bhai, aap susu karne mein lage raho mast ","in life 35% of the time (i) will not be shitting, brother, you keep on enjoyingly peeing ."
@NumbYaar bahut form me ho aaj kal,@NumbYaar youb are doing very well now a days.
Yes i knw u r a gener0us n p0stv prsn i belev tht c0z i felt n obsrvd tht:-),i know that you are a generous and positive person I believe that I felt and observed that:-)
aapko late aane ki aadat hai me janta hun... 4baje bhi sayad start nahi hoga...,you have to habbit to come late...perhaps it will not start even at 4.
chalo sab apne apne ghar koi salman nahi aaega....!!,"all go to own home, no salman will come....!!"
"The day Modi was banned to enter ""US Bhaiyon aur ""Behno kasam khata hu World tour karunga aur ""US 10 baar jaunga #GSTForNewIndia #GST","The day Modi was banned to enter united state ""ladies and gentleman i will do world tour and wi;; go to united state 10 times aur ""#GSTForNewIndia #GST"
anyone in year 12 or 13 that's gunna see the woman in black needs to give the money to mchale tomorrow !  spread the word please !,anyone in year 12 or 13 that's going to see the woman in black needs to give the money to mchale tomorrow !  spread the word please !
@IScreamPunday mandal aabhaari _/\_,@IScreamPunday mandal is greatful _/\_
Hume bhi link do. Life boring ho gayee hai,give link to us too. lifechas got bored
have some patriot dreams  .  .  .  bole to me mai aisa kar jaunga aur vaisa kar jaunga desh ke liye  .  .  .  .  just share with us  .  .  .  .,have some patriot dreams  .  .  .  like i will do this for country i will do that .  .  .  .  just share with us  .  .  .  .
Dear Pakistani fans ... Asia cup k bad agar tv set na fodeho .... to aaj accha mauka haisuru ho jao #indvspak,dear pakistani fans ... if you have not broken your tv in asia cup.... then today is a good chance. #indvspak
"Smog to ek Bahana ""hai reality main hum muh dikhane k Kabil nai rahe! #DelhiSmog #INDvSL @sagarcasm","! smog is an excuse ""in reality we don't deserve to show our face""!#DelhiSmog #INDvSL @sagarcasm"
@Trendulkar Skill India program ke tehat kaafi yuvaaon ko apna hunar tarashne mein madad mili hai.,@Trendulkar from skill india program a lots of youngsters will get help to improve their skills.
"Ulli ki patthi, uski neend azaan se kharab hui thi Gurbani se nahi, aur phir bhi usne mandiron ke khilaf bhi bolapic.twitter.com/KfYh8FAEBJ","fool, her sleep was disturbed because of azaannot by gurbani, then also she spoke against temples.pic.twitter.com/KfYh8FAEBJ"
"lol, Matthew Dahi Wade trend horaha hai","lol, matthew dahi wade are coming in trend."
"RT @anujjudeeval : Perfect railway budget ever #BudgetBT # #RailBudget2015 #IndianRailways @abpnewstv @aajtakki to jal gyi , Pata ni ko","retweet @anujjudeeval : perfect railway budget ever #BudgetBT # #RailBudget2015 #IndianRailways @abpnewstv @aajtakki became jealous , don't know why?"
#LandAcquisitionBill is good for ??? AAM Adami Ya Special AAdami #LandAcquisitionBill Zameen Wapsi Andolan #WhereIsRahul,#LandAcquisitionBill is good for ??? common man special man #LandAcquisitionBill fet land back movement #WhereIsRahul
Find this cute puppy a home? yahan khud ke kiraaye ke paise nahi hai.,Find this cute puppy a home? there is no money for (my/our)  own rent.
"bhai tumhare gags main ''like'' pehle karta hun ,  padhta baad me hun .  pata hota hai awesome hi hoga :d","brother i firstly ""like"" your gags, i read them afterwards . i knew they will be awesome :d"
#JNU ke bache anti- National nare lagate hai Aur aapke mahan kejari sunte haii aur #kanahiya jaise cheap insaan ke tarif karte hai .. #shame,"student of #JNU are shouting anti-national slogans, kejri listens and praise cheap people like #kanahiya ... #shame"
@Ra_Bies sir topi utarne ka irada nahi tha. Thanks :),@Ra_Bies sir did not have the intention to pick up the cap. thanks :)
ye sab to bahane hai ghar ka kaam na krne ke .  .  .,these all are the excuses for not doing home work.
"@openmindedatma samjha nahi, human in what sense? :)","@openmindedatma did not get, human in what sense? :)"
@RanaAyyub but aunty ji still tweeting non sense !!!,@RanaAyyub but aunty still tweeting non sense !!!
Ye hai hamara bharat aur hum make in india k baat karte hai pahle ise to sudharo @narendramodi @ ji @SirJadeja,"this is our india and we talk about make in india, firstly improve this @narendramodi @ ji @SirJadeja"
@Atheist_Krishna ye wala ho chuka hai,@Atheist_Krishna this is already done
zindagi bhar intezar bhaiiiii.....is duniya mein sirf aap ke liye,life long wait.....only for you brother in this world
@praGeek_ambani aaj 26th jan hai bhai,@praGeek_ambani today is 26 of january (republic day) brother.
Kya fekte ho @narendramodi ji. Zara batao woh kaun se raaste hain. Congress nahin saari janta ko pareshan kiya aap ne by doing #Demonitization and #GST,what do you exaggerate mr. @narendramodi. just tell the ways. not only congress but whole public faced trouble because of #Demonitization and #GST
@ruchikokcha ye bhi hai,@ruchikokcha this is also.
ye angel ko angle kyun likhte hai :'(,why do they write angel as angle? 
Yeh climate nhi change hua hai.... hum change ho Gaye hai.... #smogindelhi,this climate did not change....we have changed....#smogindelhi
@ruchikokcha Kyu taqleef dena chahte ho? Aise hi khush rehne do logon ko. Bechare,@ruchikokcha why do you want to give troubles? keep people happy as they are. poors.
"yaar apni ek hi kahani hai, tu @LoKarDi_RT assi ghat par mil le, main phir tanha akele ghar jakar so jaunga. Sigh.","dear i have only one story. you @LiLarDi_RT just meet me on water bank, then i will go home alone and get to sleep. sigh"
"Apne character ka bhi Prisma filter kar lo, thoda achha toh lagega.","do your characters's filter by prisma, it will seem better."
#SureshPrabhu #NarendraModi #MannKiBaat suna h aur jisne ki hoge usne 4429 Kat li vacancy transparency ke naam pe yesa kyu devta #rrbntpc,#SureshPrabhu #NarendraModi #MannKiBaat i listened and whoever else has heared this they have cut down 4429 vacancies on the name of transparency god #rrbntpc
"alag hoi "" but through court "" naaki whatsapp ""krke chitthi bhej ke "" teen talaq bol ke "" gharelu hinsa se bura hai #TripleTalaq","be different ""but through court"" not by whatsapp ""not by sending letter"" by saying talaq thrice"" worse than domestic viilence. #TripleTalaq"
"@narendramodi #GST "" muskile kitni v kyu na ho usse bhage nhi 0 kyuki bhagwan ek aise director hai jo muskil act behtreen actor ko deta hai ""","@narendramodi #GST "" did not give up in spite of lots of problems because god gives good act to good actors, """
teri bhi shaadi hone wali hogi jald!,you are going to get married soon.
"bahot achha kiya, Pakau hai @LoKarDi_RT",did very well. @LoKarDi_RT is boring
itne error to CA banne me nahi aarahe jitne #GST Return File karne me aarahe hai @arunjaitley hey mahapurush aaye ek #GSTRETURN file karke dikhaye jitne baal bache hai vo bhi ud jayege :x #andherinagrichopatraja,"this much error does not come in making charted accounted than filling #GST return File  @arunjaitley hey great man fill one #GSTRETURN file,the remaining hair will also become lost :x #andherinagrichopatraja"
@ashutosh83B  bhai puch rahe ho ya bata rahe ho !,@ashutosh83B are you telling me or asking?
@M_Ahmad07 majak kar raha hoo bhai,@M_Ahmad07 joking brother.
"aiseat bol, ye @Being_Humor stud hai.","speak atleast, this @Being_Humor is stud."
"Tere Naam, Aashiq Banaya Aapne, Humraaz, Hello Brother... achha hai bhai Himesh as a musician","Tere Naam, Aashiq Banaya Aapne, Humraaz, Hello Brother... himesh is good as a musician, brother."
"Ye sansaar ka niyam hai, ye nahi tod sakte",this is rule of nature. you can't break it.
@someUSER oh iight i can dig it but how you going to act tomorrow night tho younging  ?,@someUSER oh alright i can dig it but how you going to act tomorrow night tho younging  ?
@Twiterazzzi bilkul opportunity hai doosri ko pataane ka,@Twiterazzzi absolutely there is a opportunity to impress second.
Vivek Singh ,) #MaukaMauka Beta cheen ke haasil kiya hai yeh mauka aaj ... So proud of u #TeamIndia #IndvsSA #BleedBlue #CWC15
"LOL! Bhikari ki bheek, jo mili woh theek",laugh out loud! whatever beggary you got from beggar is okay(sufficient)
@Juuism hahhaa.. college ke din yaad aa gaye ,)
@Madan_ChiknaRAj tere liye SAturday ka ek Vine banaunga,@Madan_ChiknaRAj i will make a wine pack for you on saturday.
Yaayy !! India won ... #IndvsPak . Abhi toh party shuru hui h many more to go ... la la lalala,"Yeah !! India won ... #IndvsPak .party has just begin now, many more to go ... la la lalala"
@bhak_sala Is tweet ko jaldi haspatal leke jaao https://twitter.com/NotSoSnob/status/560455762015571969 … 3rd degree burns @NotSoSnob,@bhak_sala bring this tweet to hospital early https://twitter.com/NotSoSnob/status/560455762015571969 … 3rd degree burns @NotSoSnob
ab ye sab faltu ki baat karke raina ka life kharab mat karo .   .   .,don't spoil the life of raina by non-sense talk
"bhai guddu bina canteen gaye wapas aagaye tum ,  galat baat .  .  . :-(","brother guddu, you came back without going to canteen, bad thing.. :-("
@16x2is8 fakr hai !!,@16x2is8 proud of (you)
"guddu pakka a seciton me hoga ,  aisi badmash prajati ke insaan a section me hi hote hai . ","guudu must be in a section, these kinds of people are in a section."
"*Rajasthan*

""Kuch to lijiye bhai sa""
""nahi nahi kuch nahi""
""Kuch to lena padega""
""Paani sa""
""Tu cheez badi hai mast mast ..""","*Rajasthan*
take something, brother. 
no no, nothing 
will have to take something 
have some water. 
you are a very special thing. "
"@Ra_Bies tu jo kahe woh sach.
Nahi.","@Ra_Bies whatever you say is correct. 
no"
Ye baat bhul mat ! Jis network par hum Tera #Snapchat chala Rahe Hai na uska owner tujhe 1 min mai khareed sakta hai ! #jio,"don't forget this! on which networl you are using your #Snapchat, its owner can buy you in no time.#jio."
@The_Sleigher Yes.. Ab zyada ho raha hai,@The_Sleigher Yes.. now it is going beyond.
@hackiechan Phone nahi utha rahe mera,@hackiechan not picking my phone.
Save this tweet. Bhajji is gonna lift Nita Ambani.,save this tweet. brother is gonna lift nita ambani.
man u make me so nostalgic  .  .,man you make me so nostalgic  .  .
@BUnlimted kal subah... bhi nahi aayegi  @DefucktiveHumor @DiwakarKothari_,@BUnlimted will not come....in tommorow morning  @DefucktiveHumor @DiwakarKothari_
Wow yar Pakistani khawateen to kaam ki nikleen ! Congratulations Pakistani Women .,wow pakistani womankind turned out to be useful thing ! congratulation pakistani women.
jackals goal !  jimmy martin sneaks a rebound past killeen to give elmira a 2-1 lead .  bushee &amp, bellamy with the assists . 1:09 left 2nd period
@aajtak #dear arvind kejriwal aap begunaah hai . Yaa deshdrohi hai .... choose,@aajtak #dear arvind kejriwal are you innocent or traitor? .... choose
"Long drive pe chal chal, long drive pe chal chal, chal mere naal soniye ni mere naal soniye","come for long drive, come for long drive, come with me preety(girl) with me."
@theerailivedin #CrackerNACrackKAR bolne wale ki baat mat sun,@theerailivedin #CrackerNACrackKAR don't listen to who is speaking.
@TweetErrant bhai aajkal tere tweet Ashok Dinda ki tarah ho gaye hai.. Upar se chale jate hai,@TweetErrant brother your tweets have become like ashok dinda.. can not understand them. 
"#TripleTalaq ka eik solution hai saare mulsman aurton ko apne religion change kar lena chahiye. unke liye asan ""hai bhi nhi hota unka.",there is solution of #TripleTalaq. all the muslim women should change their religion.this is not easy for them too.
@SukeshReddyRmur @Nizam_ntr @Sama_Gautham @nag1406 @pavan1230 cuase that kind of class roles won't suit balayya's image,@SukeshReddyRmur @Nizam_ntr @Sama_Gautham @nag1406 @pavan1230 because that kind of class roles won't suit brother's image
@MohitParmarr ye to IPL me aayee thi.. Deccan Chargers ke maalik ki beti ?,@MohitParmarr she came in ipl..daughter of deccan chargers's owner?
@titincanti @wayou14 Hai . Titin,@titincanti @wayou14 i have . titin
@White_Crimes tumhare liye hi likha tha ye gaana shayad,@White_Crimes perhaps this song was written only for you.
"RT @ashutosh83B : Murderous assault on AAP MLA , Kartar Singh Tanwar . Chhatarpur . Driver is injured . Attackers were carrying pistol . Kartar i","retweet @ashutosh83B : murderous assault on AAP MLA , kartar singh tanwar . chhatarpur . driver is injured . attackers were carrying pistol . Kartar i"
@BhaiyyajiClub Thanks Bhaiyyaji @TheRahulMahajan @BihariTweeter @nisheethsharan,@BhaiyyajiClub thanks big brother @TheRahulMahajan @BihariTweeter @nisheethsharan
@LoKarDi_RT aisi ladkiyon wale baat na karo,@LoKarDi_RT don't  talk like girls.
@dwivedi_ji12 Nitishraaj me sare aaropi riha ho gaye #NitishKaNakliVikas,@dwivedi_ji12 all criminals have released in nitish government. #NitishKaNakliVikas
bjp ke 30% log criminal record wale hai,there are 30% people in bjp has criminal record.
Itna andhera kyu hai bhai. #Tubelight,why is there so much darkness brother? #Tubelight
aur @TweetErrant ko le aaja. @retardedwriter,take @TweetErrant someone else back@retardedwriter
"RT @CricketNDTV : #AsiaCup India : Dhawan , Rohit , Kohli , Rahane , Rayudu , Karthik , Jadeja , Ashwin , Mishra , Shami , Bhuvneshwar http://t.co/ls5I","retweet @CricketNDTV : #AsiaCup India : Dhawan , Rohit , Kohli , Rahane , Rayudu , Karthik , Jadeja , Ashwin , Mishra , Shami , Bhuvneshwar http://t.co/ls5I"
"agar tatti hui hi nahi usse pehle kyu dhona, ma'm ye wala zabardast logic istemaal kar rahi hai.",if there is no shit what to clean . ma'am is using this powerful logic.
keeping k waqt hi gloves pehente the :p,used to wear gloves only while keeping :p
@indiantweeter @jdriar jallianwala bagh ke bahar badi hotel hai ek. Waha khaya tha. Do din muh nahi dhoya taki taste nahi jaye.,@indiantweeter @jdriar jallianwala there is a hotel outside park. ate there. did not wash mouth so that taste did not go away.
Ek subah ke tatti wali cigarette ki keemat tum kya jaano ... achhe bowel movements wale babu?,what do you about the price of cigarette while shitting. .person with good bowl?
"@anilvijmantri @IndiaToday sports minister ji aaj 3 day hi aapko inform kare hue , kab tak react karoge , jab sari ghaas sookh jayegi","@anilvijmantri @IndiaToday mr. sports minister it has been 3 days after informing you , by what time you will react, when then all grass will become dry."
OK main aap ki intzar karugi Bas aap sache Salman khan hai Toh Itna jarur batana aap kaisa hai.....:) aapko dekhne ko Dil chahta hai ???,okay i will wait for you. if you are real salman khan then just tell me how are you......:)i feel like to see you.
:D Degree Dikhau?,:D should i show the degree?
"tune desh ke CM ka naam liya hai, iss pavitra cheez ko jhoota saabit nahi karna bas.",you took name of the cm of country. just don't prove this pure thing go wrong.
"teaching ,  then rehearsing .  show with the gnr tribute band this friday in cranston ,  ri at mardis gras ! ","teaching ,  then rehearsing .  show with the guns and roses tribute band this friday in cranston ,  ri at mardis gras ! "
"Bahot hi ghatiy soch rakhti hai aaj kal ki ye 23-24 saal ki ladkiyan, inka saavdhan india par episode karwana chahiye. ek number PERVERT!","girls of 23-24 have very bad thinking nowadays, there should be episode on savdhaan india on these girls. no. 1 prevert."
"Within 6 months bola tha, 6 din bhi nahi lage https://twitter.com/LOLendraSingh/status/816686060830801920 …","said of within 6 months, it did not take even 6 months. https://twitter.com/LOLendraSingh/status/816686060830801920 …"
"@KyaUkhaadLega LOL, setting mein toh lage huwe hai ye @Being_Humor bhai. Bhaot hi zoron se","@KyaUkhaadLega LOL, trying for the setting @Being_Humor brother. by high try."
"""Ustaad ji, Shahrukh Khan ka majak mat udaao. Manne bahot pasand hai"" - Sultan

*Hoots, Claps, Whistles* ","Mr. ustaad, don't make fun of shahrukh khan. I like him - sultan

*Hoots, Claps, Whistles* "
"BC samaj nahi aa rahi tujhe 

dont use the hashtag #BuzzOffBarkhahttps://twitter.com/BUnlimted/status/782167445079330816 …","BC are you not getting?

don't use the hashtag #BuzzOffBarkhahttps://twitter.com/BUnlimted/status/782167445079330816 …"
"Achhhi baat hai ye toh, no jhanjhat",this is a good saying. no issue
"BHARAT ""MODI"" ke Saath",india is with modi.
@Being_Humor badi badi baate.. Vada pav khate @aamir_khan,@Being_Humor big sayings.. used to eat vada pav @aamir_khan
Aaj gold hai paani paani paani paani paani paani!,"Today gold is water, water, water, water, water, water (full of water)"
@KyaUkhaadLega thanks bhai :),@KyaUkhaadLega thanks brother.
@iamGunjanGrunge Tu shaadi kar le,@iamGunjanGrunge you should get married.
O Bhai! Sahi. Cheers Man #MeriDrinks,O brother correct. Cheers Man #MeriDrinks
@Insane_chorri ye dekho @iamGunjanGrunge kya kya karwata hai mujhse.. Waise achchi hai na ?,@Insane_chorri see it @iamGunjanGrunge what do they make me do.. by the way is not it nice?
Do you really need words ? Ye mauka humne haath se jaane nahin diya .. This time we are winning ! #WontGiveItBack #IndvsSA,Do you really need words ? we did not let this chance go from our hands .. This time we are winning ! #WontGiveItBack #IndvsSA
"Khushi RT spree de rahi hai. 

*khushi ke aansu*","khushi rt is giving happiness.

""tears of joy"""
Vaswani-Panjwani are like the Duckworth-Lewis of porn. Inko hamesha gaaliyan padti rahengi.,Vaswani-Panjwani are like the Duckworth-Lewis of porn. Ithey will always be abused.
"SRK: Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai.
Salman: Aur mujhe pakad ke bhi kya ukhad liya.","srk : it is not difficult to catch don, it is impossible
salman : what did you establish by catching me?"
"uska pyar hai ek sone ka pinjra oh shehzaadi,
Mujhko apni jaan se pyari hai apni azaadi @Alllahdin","her/his love is like golden cage oh princess
i love my freedom more compared to (my) life @Allahdin"
uske baap ko mobile ki factory tha kya .,does his father have mobile's factory?
sab bekar h..... koi nhi aane wala ..... salman nhi aayega,all is waste...no one is going to come...salman will not come
Jo #Trump ke khilaaf hai WO jail jayega,"whoever goes against #Trump will go to jail,"
tujhe kya laga tha  .  .  blind date par brad pitt ayega  ?  ?,what did you think  .  .  brad will come beaten from blind date  ?  ?
Ek aur shikaar!https://twitter.com/bhaiyyajispeaks/status/862232376075722752 …,one more prey! https://twitter.com/bhaiyyajispeaks/status/862232376075722752 …
""" Rahul Gandhi , joke to suna hoga ? "" #TwistedBollywoodDialogues #RahulOnLeave #WhereIsRahul","Rahul Gandhi , surely heared the joke? #TwistedBollywoodDialogues #RahulOnLeave #WhereIsRahul"
Ye maine kal raat mein tweet kiya tha Master-Shef! Tumne padha hi nahi </3,i tweeted this tweet last night Master-Shef! you did not read it </3
"@retardedwriter @Dishasatra Hadd hai, ye ladkiyan padhengi toh kya hoga mera? Tumlog chahte ho main kunwara baap banu?","@retardedwriter @Dishasatra this is limit, if these girls will study what will happen to me? you guys want to become father unmarried?"
@StarSportsIndia yeah😂😂 #MoukaMouka #IndWins #IndvsSA Dhonibhaiiii we loveeeeeee youuuuuu😍😍😍😍😍,@StarSportsIndia yeah😂😂 #MoukaMouka #IndWins #IndvsSA Dhonibrotherrrr we loveeeeeee youuuuuu😍😍😍😍😍
Meri bhi kr dijiye na plz.......mera bhatije ko thik kr dijiye ....apko allah ka wasta....,do mine also please......cure my nephew....for god's sake
"Suzuki Hayate..
Ab ye bhi nahi chalate..pic.twitter.com/wIzrWasar5","suzuki hayate..
they even don't drive..pic.twitter.com/wIzrWasar5"
kunba jo bikhar gaya .  .  .  tinka  .  .  . tinka,the family which broke. . . straw. . . straw.
kaha gayab tha itne din se phele ye bata  .  .  . and only one gag :(,where did you disappear from so many days? .  .  . and only one gag :(
Agar tum mil jao ___________ chhod denge hum,"if i get you, i will leave ___________ "
@bholi_si_soorat Yaha bohot saari ladkiya hai jo apni hubby se bore ho kar aati hai,@bholi_si_soorat there are a lot of women who comes here after getting bored of their husband.
are yahaan koi matar kyun nahi chheel raha ?  :p,why are you not peeling peas ? :P
abhi tu bhook mat lagwa..,you don't make us hungry now.
"far more needed bro, we had put a cap on 5lakhs, 10 din ke Hosp ka kharcha 10lakh hai. Socha na tha itna bhi hoga","far more needed brother, we had put a cap on 5 lakhs, 10 days hospital charges are 10 lakhs. i did not think this much will be."
kejriwal ko itna knowledge nahi hai .  .  .,kejriwal does not have that knowledge.
"arre jaa re jaa, tera bhaiyya bhi. Hum chahe toh dar dar bhatke.","oye go go, your brother too. if we want you will roam here and there."
bada mehnati balak hai :p :d,he is very labourious boy. 
"@PriyancaBajaj line bola, theek se padha karo","@PriyancaBajaj spoke a line, read it carefully."
"@Alllahdin tujhe haldi ka ughtan lagaye sakhiyan, tere saaya ko kanchan banaye sakhiyan https://youtu.be/1u7RVGaD4eg  @Integrated_me","@Alllahdin sakhiyan apply turmeric paste on you, kanchan save your shadow sakhiyan https://youtu.be/1u7RVGaD4eg  @Integrated_me"
Acc to this list.. agla number Sanjay Jha ka hai,according to this list..next turn is of sanjay jha
"Commentator: Dabav banaye rakhna hoga

Bowler: batsman ke upar ja ke baith jaye kya?","Commentator: will have to maintain pressure.

Bowler: should we sit on the top of batsman?"
@AapGhumaKeLeyLo Aaj hi seekha netaji,@AapGhumaKeLeyLo i learned it today leader.
can't wait to hear tomorrows cmag meeting about horny (coni ) report .  baages wait &amp, watch you will be grilled tomorrow  !  cmag a hope .
"""Kisi aur ki mujhko zaroorat kya, main toh khud se pyaar jataun"" 
- Sheila (circa 2010)
#SinglesInspirationalQuotes","why do i need anyone else, i express love to myself.
- Sheila (circa 2010)
#SinglesInspirationalQuotes"
@reviewero Lol Mahesh Murthy suicide kar lega aaj,@reviewero lol mahesh Murthy will suicide today.
@Alllahdin Raha nahi gaya!,@Alllahdin could not control
@DhuanDhari hahaha.. Ye bhi khoob rahi,@DhuanDhari (laugh) this is also awesome.
Zeher hai ke pyar hai tera chumma #GuessTheSong,is your kiss a poison or love? #GuessTheSong
@twinitisha isiliye to bol raha tha  @the_jok_er,@twinitisha that's why i was speaking  @the_jok_er
"Bengalure : T20 World Cup 2016 , Aaj Ka Doosra Match Sri Lanka Aur West Indies Kay Darmian Khaila Jaye Ga , Match Sham 7 Baje Shuru Hoga","Bengalure : T20 World Cup 2016 , today's second match will be played between sri lanka Aur west indies. Match will start at 7 in the evening."
"Ravi Shastri waving baadh mein gaye tumlog main chala.
#IndVsAuspic.twitter.com/5AvFqMZscW","ravi shastri is waving hand (for the expression) that i am going you go to hell.
#IndVsAuspic.twitter.com/5AvFqMZscW"
@premlata_rai bas isiliye isko maine haan nahi boli @Alllahdin @retardedwriter,@premlata_rai only because of this i did not say yes to them.@Alllahdin @retardedwriter
"@MyCricWin abhi jadeja , ashwin aur shami ko hai jaadu dikhana let's have #worlcupdobara","@MyCricWin now jadeja , ashwin and shami have to show magic.let's have #worlcupdobara"
"We can save and educate our “Beti” (Beti ""Bachai Padai) @mlkhattar lekin sir aap unhe darindo se toh bachao. #Nirbhaya #DarindoSeBachaoKanoonLao",We can save and educate our “daughter”  @mlkhattar but sir aap you save them from devils#Nirbhaya #DarindoSeBachaoKanoonLao
pehle pakistan ki taraf ek dal do .  .  .  . sare terrorist khatam .  .  .,put one in side of pakistan  . . . all terrorists will vanish.
"In other words ""Jail me unke liye roz khana lekar jaunga""https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/678110967494868992 …","In other words ""i will bring food to jail for them""https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/678110967494868992 …"
yaar tum aise kyu karte ho mere saath hamesha?,why do you do this to me always?
RT @SomeGoanGuy : These Gujarat Jersey colours have been inspired by Jethalal Gada for sure #KXIPvGL,retweet @SomeGoanGuy : These Gujarat Jersey colours have been inspired by Jethalal Gada for sure #KXIPvGL
RT @sharma11ashish1 : SC rejects the petition of the 9 rebel Cong MLAs . The MLAs cant vote in tomorrow's floor test in Uttarakhand . @shailesh,retweet @sharma11ashish1 : supreme court rejects the petition of the 9 rebel Congress MLAs . The MLAs can not vote in tomorrow's floor test in Uttarakhand . @shailesh
@Sinceere_Angel ye @Atheist_Krishna ki harkate saasu jaisi hi hai,@Sinceere_Angel this @Atheist_Krishna does things like mother-in-law
Chirag/Chirongi Lal Khosla - Khosla Ka Ghoslahttps://twitter.com/pujaparashar/status/735756823135821824 …,chirag/chirongi lal khosla - Khosla's nest(home) https://twitter.com/pujaparashar/status/735756823135821824 …
"Insaan daaru bandh, cigarette bandh, socialzing bandh kar sakta hai, magar apne biwi ka muh kabhi nahi.","a human can stop using wine, cigarette and can stop socializing but can not stop wife's mouth"
per mummy hamesha list bana k rakhti hain .  .  .  isse match wale din hi sare kaam karane hai  .  .,but mummy made and keeps the list. . . make him do all the work on the day of match. 
"Ied mubarak ho salmaan g.khuda se dua hai,aapki ye movie bhi badi hit ho,aapki last movis ki tarah.",wishes on eid to mr. salman. it is pray to god that this movie also become a big hit like your last movies.
virat kohli ka 1 run dekhne k liye anushka bhabhi india se australia tak aa gayi .  .  .  .,"to watch a run of virat kohli, sister-in -law anushka went to australia from india. "
Aaj Bandstand pe daaru ki nadiyaan bahengi !! #BhaiRoxx,today there will be raining of winei !! #BhaiRoxx
"luncher paaji jab biscuit kha rahe hain to  "" sudup sudup ""  ho rahi hai aur jab chai pee rahe hain to  "" chabar chabar ""  ?  ? ",when luncher brother eats biscuits it sounds like sudup sudup and when drinks tea it sounds like chabar chabar. 
cc @AapKaGopalRai sir aur ek press con lena pad sakta hai. https://twitter.com/DelhiMuse/status/683994651305480194 …,cc @AapKaGopalRai sir we might have to take one more press con. https://twitter.com/DelhiMuse/status/683994651305480194 …
"Sir aise mat bolo na, wahan ek karod ki aabadi hai. Yahan CP mein utne log shaam mein ghumne aatw hai. ","sir don't speak like this, there are population of one crore. here in CP the same amount of people used to come for evening walk. "
@md_baran @Hones8Liar chalo ab thoda kaam kar sakte hai ... subah se yahi chipke pade hai office me bhi .. is chakkar me lunch bhi nahi kiya,@md_baran @Hones8Liar now let's do some work..from morning they are stick in office..because of this did not do lunch also
"""Kahaan se aate hai yeh log?""

~ Netanyahu","from where these people do come?

~ Netanyahu"
omg !  !  !  ramin and sierra performing phantom of the opera at the classical brit awards televised on sunday itv at 10 . 30pm !  !  !  !  :d,oh my god !  !  !  ramin and sierra performing phantom of the opera at the classical brit awards televised on sunday itv at 10 . 30pm !  !  !  !  :d
@someUSER @someUSER at least there is hope coming around february .  i'm looking at a team where jr smith is the x-factor .,@someUSER @someUSER at least there is hope coming around february .  i'm looking at a team where junior smith is the x-factor .
Ladki DhokebaazOn Whatsapp : Girl : Tu Hasta Nahi hai Kya ? Boy : Kyu ? Girl : Tere Haste Hue Ki Koi Photo Nahi Hain .... https://t.co/y0hGOPAkTp,cheater girl on whatsapp : girl : do you not laugh? boy : why ? girl : you don't a lauging photo. .... https://t.co/y0hGOPAkTp
"RT @RoflGandhi_ : Match jaldi khatm karo ladkiyo , Abbu scooter lekar wait kar rahe hain stadium ke baahar 😂 #IndvsPak","retweet @RofiGandhi_ : finish the match early girls, father is wating with scooter outside the stadium.😂 #IndvsPak"
"Kejri: Mujhe chahiye Swaraj!
Ashutosh: Sir mahilaon ka vote paane ke liye modify karte hain ""Mujhe chahiye Swa-simran""","kejri : i want independence.
Ashutosh: Sir modifies to get votes of ladies ""i want swa-simran""."
"Inke maathe par bhi kuch likha bona chahiye, aap toh jaante hi hai kya ..https://twitter.com/ANINewsUP/status/838680730699902976 …","on their head something should be written, you surely know what..https://twitter.com/ANINewsUP/status/838680730699902976 …"
supw se sirf duster bna ke dena yaad ata hai .  .  fir wahi duster se board mitao :p,the only thing comes in memory for supw is to make duster. . then use the same duster to clean the board :P
@MeetUunngLee bahot khoob darshaya hai iss halaat-e-watan ko aapne,@MeetUunngLee you have shown the condition of nation very well.
Hahaha.. aisa mat karna. Ji bhar kar khao aur pocket khol kar #gst do sath me #GSTBill bhi tweet kar sakti ho,laugh..don't do it. eat as much you want with open pocket and give #gst along with. you can tweet #GSTBill too.
@sachin_rt @SachinTheFilm Sachin bhaiya mera number kab aayega Plz mujhe reply chahiye Sachin bhaiya plz,@sachin_rt @SachinTheFilm sachin brother when will my turn come. I want reply sachine brother please.
aapki govt jo decisions le rhi h unko dekhkar mera viswas puri trh se apse uthta ja rha h .  .  .  .,"by seeing your government's decision, my faith is going from you continuously. . . ."
Salman vai pls apne dare rakey..vai app ko boss boss lage ga..,salman brother keep your dare..that thing will look like boss boss
bhagwaan agar aaj mujhe paise paa gaye to uski taken3 khelunga .  . nahi nahi .  .  . mustafa .  .  . nahi nahi pehle mario phir baki dusri fight wali games .,god if i get the money i will play taken3..no no..mustafa..no no firstly i will play mario then other fighting games
francesco totti thinks roma will be unable to catch juventus &amp, wants the #seriea side to aim for 3rd this season http/URL
: LAST NIGHT MAHASHIVRATRI RUDRABHISHEK ..... Poojan sampanna ... http://t.co/NHvveffMwT,last night there was mahashivratri's worship.....the end of worship... http://t.co/NHvveffMwT
"Baba, bachha jaag gaya kya?","baba, has child got up?"
you have gifted creativity and imagination .  .  .  .  good one !,you have gifted creativity and imagination . good one !
kitne din soya nahi bhai @bhak_sala,how many days did you not sleep? @bhak_sala
our popular cm is you .   .,our popular cm is you 
@Sand_In_Deed aaj baarish hogi jam ke lagta hai,@Sand_In_Deed it seems to have heavy rain today.
@Alllahdin dil gloom gloom kae ghabhraye.,@Alllahdin heart got scared by sadness.
@Alllahdin @Ra_Bies bas jaa raha hu main.,"@Alllahdin @Ra_Bies fine, i am going. "
tumhe Gauri khan cute lagti hai ?? Oil ka kuan hai wo,do you feel gauri khan is cute ?? who is he of oil
@chintskap sir aap ka to ye roz ka ho gaya hai. Pehle joke marte ho fir personal joke bol ke safe side ho jate ho.,"@chintskap Sir, it has become a routine for you. First you kill the jokies and then the personal jokes become safe side of the lyrics."
@LoKarDi_RT toh bakwaas kyu karta hai re Mohan?,@lokardi_rt why are talking senseless mohan?
"Kitne Hafeez out karoge, har pavillion se ek aur Hafeez niklega.","how many hafeez will you out, one more hafeez will get out of each pavilion"
"Roz roz aankhon tale, chashme ka number badhta chale.","daily daily under eyes, spects number gets increasing"
Be someone's bhai patakha thode durr jaa ke bajaa,be someone's brother cracker get a bit away and blow
akale pahunch gayee honeymoon manane ?,did you went for honeymoon alone ?
your manifesto is good .  .  i agree it .  i support you sir .   .  .  you r true person .  .,your manifesto is good .  .  i agree it .  i support you sir .   .  .  you are true person .  .
hehehehehehehehehehe .  .  . maine bhi kabhi chalk tym par laake kabhi nahi diya tha .  .  .,hehehehehehehehehehe .  .  . i also never brought chalk in time .  .  .
@bhak_sala @IndianExpress bas aise hi kripa bani rahe,@bhak_sala @IndianExpress let your blessings be always there
@AsNr80 tum logo ki economy bhi bilkul tumhari cricket aur harkato jaisi hai.. BEKAR,@AsNr80 your guys economy is just like your cricket and your behavior...bad
@Ra_Bies Aapse hi seekha hai,@Ra_Bies learnt from you
#donno1 wala actor to nhi  ?  :p,#donno1 actor is he ?
"Salman bhai kahan hooo ...... 6 baj gaye ab 1 ghanta gaya to iftar ka time hota please ek reply dedijiye,, please bhaijaan ........","salman bhai where are you ...... its 6 already and it is 1 hour to iftar please reply once, please brother ........"
@itsmanimozhian are yaar joke hai. Chhod,"@itsmanimozhian its a joke, leave it"
Itna outrage laati kahan se ho behen? Wholesale ki dukaan hai kya?,so much outrage where are you from sister? do you have a wholesale shop?
"Bajrangbali ki vakt , kavi jhuut bolti nahi , toh aap kaise bola ?","at the time of bajrangbali, we dont lie, how did you lie ?"
Har Har Mahadev .. Mahashivratri ki subhkamanaye .. to all,"blessings from mahadev .., happy mahashivratri .. to all"
@ek_samosa_dena jitne followers mile hai woh bhi chale jayenge bhai!,"@ek_samosa_dena the followers that you have, they will also leave"
@t0m8a thode paise bhijwa,@t0m8a send some money
"Bhaiyya ek sandwich dena, uss mein plz onions nahi daalo
Bhaiyya: Ke bole medum? Ke nahi daalna? Kakdi?","Bhaiyya please give a sandwich, and dont put onions
Bhaiyya: did you say medium? what not to add? cucumber?"
@PoojaB 1972 Ji pehle hi kya Apne desh mein #Festivals ki kami hai kya . Aap America SE #Halloween import kar laaye,@PoojaB 1972 ji what our country had not enough festivals that you are importing halloween from america
"Rona ho toh apni ammi ke paas jao yaar, twitter kyu?","if you want to cry then go to your mom and cry, why on twitter?"
@TheMannatSingh bas kar ja qandeel ka dance nahi dekha tunay ?,@TheMannatSingh thats it havent you seen qandeel's dance ?
"@Ra_Bies Subbah 5 baje tak pi, bahot pi. Kitni pi yaad nahi aa raha. HAr ek body part mein dard hai, jaise dil mein","@Ra_Bies Subbah i drank till 5 in the morning, i drank a lot. evry body part is hurting now, like my heart"
".@ArvindKejriwal sir hug Kalmadi, hug Raja, hug Pawar and tell these Sanghis that insan corrupt nahi hota waqt corrupt hot hai.",".@ArvindKejriwal sir hug kalmadi, hug pawar and tell these sanghis that a man is never corrupt only the time is"
unn special seat ne to kabhi bada banne diya hi nahi .  .  .  . ab bhi unke alag hi maze hai,unn special seat ne to kabhi bada banne diya hi nahi .  .  .  . ab bhi unke alag hi maze hai
Be someone's 'yaar chal chai sutta maar ke aate hai',be someone's 'lets go for smoke and a tea'
Gyan ki 3 Baate hmesa yad rkhna Gyan no 1 : Agar koi hume accha lagta hai to accha wo nahi hum hai ... Aur agar ... http://t.co/mcInUfjWK1,"there are 3 knowledge talks first is : if you like someone then they are not good, its you who is good ... and if ... http://t.co/mcInUfjWK1"
@c_aashish @vikaspgoel Yuvraj Singh ne wapsi ki aur batting hi nahi mili,@c_aashish @vikaspgoel yuvraj singh returned back and he did not even get to bat
"bilkul bhi nahi, pyare log hai","not a chance, loverly people they are"
@KajuBadamChor Aaja kya sochna jyaada,@KajuBadamChor come what more to think
"""Mitron, madam kehti hai ye achhi baat nahi hai"" - Narendra Manmohan Vajpayee
#PMMashUp","""friends, madam says it is not a good thing"" - Narendra Manmohan Vajpayee
#PMMashUp"
apna kaam banta bhaad main jaaye janta ... true but stinking as well ...,"my work is done, people can go to hell ... tru but stinking as well ..."
"Car road par chalaane ke liye hoti hai, footpath par nahi. 
AbhijeetNoMoreSinger https://twitter.com/abhijeetsinger/status/595854582288384000 …","car is meant for driving on roads, not on footpath 
AbhijeetNoMoreSinger https://twitter.com/abhijeetsinger/status/595854582288384000 …"
@TheHungryCrow unki zindagi hi kharab hai,@TheHungryCrow their life itself is bad
@reviewero @Being_Humor @sheetal_here @ArvindKejriwal iski jaanch honi chahiye. Modi ki police jaanch nahi honi de rahi.,@reviewero @Being_Humor @sheetal_here @ArvindKejriwal this should be investigated. police is not letting modi being investigated
.@ashutosh83B bhai Modi ji jab tak degree nahi dikhaenge tab tak tum tatti nahi karoge kya ?,.@ashutosh83B brother wont you take a shit until modi ji shows his degree ?
"#Demonitization & #GST jaise needless kadam ko aavaashyak keh ke MSME ka poora structure weak kar ""diya ab aur kaunse kadam baaki hain?","#Demonitization & #GST like needless activities being given importance and MSME structure gets weakend, now what else is remaining?"
@Rialisticme kyu usne kya kuch bigada hai tumhara? </3,@Rialisticme what has he done something wrong to you?
@sunnysaubhagya kabhi socha hain aise bhi lag sakti hain vaat?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI&feature=youtu.be … #LagGayiVaat Shine,@sunnysaubhagya have you ever thought that you will be duped like this?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI&feature=youtu.be … #LagGayiVaat Shine
"pehna rahunga tab nahi karna bhai, baaki theek.","i'll keep wearing it then dont do it, else fine"
"@lady_gabbar @PureNautanki Lol. Jab kaddu kat raha tha aur sab mein bat raha tha, aap dono kahan the?",@lady_gabbar @PureNautanki laugh out loud. where were you guys when pumpkin was getting cut?
@Marwaari Bhai milkey jaana,@Marwaari brother meet before leaving
arre haan :( Aane do wapas uski outing karate hai! @Alllahdin,"oh yes, let him come, then we will do his outing @Alllahdin"
Vin Diesel Deepika ke videsh wale chacha lag rahe haihttps://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/739733418552872961 …,vin diesel looks like deepika's foreign uncle https://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/739733418552872961 …
Aaj plane tera bhai udaayega #EgyptAir,today your brother is going to fly the plane #EgyptAir
"Congress ka haath sabke saath, unko lootne ke liye.
Achhe din aayenge. Man mein hai vishwas, poora hai vishwas hum honge kamyab ek din.","congress hand is with everyone, to loot them.
good days are going to come. i have faith, complete faith that we will succeed one day."
"@RowdyTalks zaroor, done hai. DM par bhejta rahunga handles :P","@RowdyTalks definitely, its done. i will keep sending handles on direct messages"
@YearOfRat Done hai! Saturday shaam ka rakhte hai,@YearOfRat its fixed then. lets keep it saturday night
mario ke hidden warp zones: level skip karne k liye  !  !  !,hidden wrap zones of mario: to skip levels  !  !  !
"Bharatia pls run to the bathroom "" desh ka gaurav aa raha hai !","indians please run to the bathroom "" country's pride is coming !"
Tera baap chor hai #OffendEveryoneIn4Words,your father is a thief #OffendEveryoneIn4Words
".@AbhinandanSekhr Sir news laundry mein kaam dila do, main laundry ka kaam achha kar leti hai
",".@AbhinandanSekhr sir please give me job in news laundry, i am good at doing laundry work"
"Good @ArvindKejriwal sir, taal diya Modi par. Ab batao Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2 kaisi lagi?","good @ArvindKejriwal sir, put it on modi. now tell me how did you like pyaar ka punchnama 2?"
@Sonu_ChaiPoha Gulab Ganj chale jaa,@Sonu_ChaiPoha go to gulab ganj
bomber man my fav .  .  .  mario me to baadalo me bhi jati thi .  .  .  4 in 1 stil m havng nw .  .,bomber man my favorite .  .  .  in mario used to go into the clouds also .  .  .  4 in 1 still i am having now .  .
this reminded me of calvins crazy imaginations :),$
Akshar Patel playing for Punjab. Parthiv Patel for Mumbai & Hardik Patel for Gujarat.,$
"Bihariyo ho jao taiyaar

 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar","biharis get ready

 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar"
RT @saloniradhainsa : @Gurmeetramrahim #MustWatchMSG PAPAJI ... M eagerlyyyyy waiting 4 Ur Tweet ... Missing U ... bhtt yaad aa rhi h JAANAPAPA JI,RT @saloniradhainsa : @Gurmeetramrahim #MustWatchMSG daddy ... am eagerly waiting for your tweet ... missing you ... i am missing you a lot jaanapapa ji
@OfficeOfRG Bhai jitni samazhdari wale words tu twitter par likhta hai .. woh words Mike par bhi bol diya kar .. Koi or tweet karta hai kya #GST,@OfficeOfRG brother the intelligent talk you do on twitter .. say the same on a mike .. do you do any other tweet #GST
Ambedkar ki jitni be-izzati ye Jihadi handle @AmbedkarCaravan kar raha hai utni to kisi brahmin ne bhi nahin ki hogi.,the level of dishonor they bring upon ambedkar on jihadi handle @AmbedkarCaravan that level of curse is not even done on a brahmin handle
@Alllahdin Pind Balucci mein se ek plate aukaat le leni chahiye thi.,@Alllahdin you should have taken one plate of status from pind balluchi
Agar tumhara payari bahan ko koi rape kare aur private place mein chaku markar khatam karde to tum ahinsa ki mukhota pahankar oose samjao ge ???,"if someone rapes your lovely sister and kills her by stabbing in private place, would you then also wear the mask of non-violence and preach them"
Saurabh Bhola tu hai na :P,you are sourabh bhola
I bet ur uncle appreciated your collection . . Uncles are human too !,i bet your uncle appreciated your collection .. uncles are human too !
"Gabbar : ""Suvar ke bachchon!"" 
Gabbar's henchmen : ""But sardar, that is PORK!""","gabbar: ""you pigs children""
gabbar's henchmen: ""but boss, that is a pork"""
"today was national kissing day ,  i'll have to make up for the loss tomorrow",$
prabha yadav remember ?  ?  kese pura ghr utha lete the sir pe :-(,prabha yadav remember ?  ?  how he used to rumble whole house on his head
"guddu ne tb b mflar utar diya ,  kejriwal ne to mummy ki dr ki wjh se kbi maflar utrta hi nhi ;-) :p","guddu atleast took off his muffler, kejriwal still hasnt took off his muffler because of his mom's fear"
@SritikaDhar FFS pony? Phir uske liye tabela bhi humko arrange karna padega. Samjho cheezon ko and be logical,@SritikaDhar ffs pony? then we would have to arrange for a stable also for him. try to understand things and be logical.
gaali ni de sakta. PeEche se maar to sakta hai  @kachra_peti,"i cant abuse you, but can hit you from behind atleast  @kachra_peti"
"luv garbage bin ,  each cartoon reminds me of my childhood .  .  . keep going ,  all the best","love garbage bin ,  each cartoon reminds me of my childhood .  .  . keep going ,  all the best"
@SahiDisha aaj to soch bhi nahi PA raha k rat ko party mai #WI wale kya karege .. @bloggeray26,@SahiDisha i still cant think of what #WI would do in tonight's party .. @bloggeray26
dekhte he dekhte Aapka score 60 % se abhi 39 pe aa gaya and MY LOVE #MSD bhai ka 20 pe se 42 aa gaya #Legendforever #MSD,while watching your score came down from 60% to 39 and my love #MSD your score got up to 42 from 20 #Legendforever #MSD
kabhi kabhi hi to ho pata hai ma'am :),very few times it happens ma'am
@friendlii_ghost agle 2 match me sambhal lena bhai,@friendlii_ghost please be careful for next 2 match
"@krazyfrog a friend: ""arey yaar lekin bacchon pe cartoon? muhammad pe banaya wo accha kiya, muslim logon ko thoda chill lena chahiye""","@krazyfrog a friend: ""but why cartoon on kids? they made it on muhammad and it was good, muslim people should take it chill sometimes"""
@desimogli hahaha sahi baat hai.,@desimogli hahaha right it is
guddu ji .  .  jaldi bade ho jao .  .  hum shadi karlenge .  .  aapko biwi se kuch zyada hi pyaar hain .  .  ,)
Friday Faking Release: phir bhi Dil Hai Hindustani (*ing Rahul Gandhi )pic.twitter.com/IA1VcjmG6Q,Friday Faking Release: then also my heart is indian (starring Rahul Gandhi ) picture twitter.com/IA1VcjmG6Q
my love for maya rudolph may be borderline obsessive .  i just looooove her !,my love for maya rudolph may be borderline obsessive .  i just love her !
@Lambar_Daar Jab tak aa rahe hai.. Tab tak badiya hai.. Jis din band ho gaye.. Samaj lena.. Time to get new gf ,)
@dhaval241086 kamaal kar diya @PritishNandy ne aaj to,@dhaval241086  @PritishNandy did amazing today
@ExSecular ye raat ki research ke results hai,@ExSecular these are the results of research in night
@Mr_Lawwyer inshallah jeet hamari hogi.,@Mr_Lawwyer inshallah we will win
"#IndvsSA #SAvsIND If mohit sharma wins this match for India . Ishant sharma's parents will say "" ek baar apne bhai ko dekho aur apne apko "" .","#IndvsSA #SAvsIND if mohit sharma wins this match for india . ishant sharma's parents will say ""for once see you brother and look at yourself"""
"Mandana ka code hai 'MAN'. 

Dil toot ke hi reh gaya.","mandana's code is 'MAN'.
 
my heart is broken now."
@somy_bored @shivangijoshi10 yes shivi post leap shoot bhi to shuru ho gaya ab to bol do .. :),@somy_bored @shivangijoshi10 yes shivi post leap shoot has started too now say it
kha ho aap shona cant wait...... :-),where are you shona cant wait..... :-)
"Arvind Kejriwal: Bhaiyo aur behno aap hi batao, Delhi ki aisi buri halat karne waala kaun hai?
Delhi people:pic.twitter.com/aiwJeKFYbp","""arvind kejriwal: brothers and sisters tell me, who is the culprit behind the current state of delhi
delhi people:pic.twitter.com/aiwJeKFYbp"""
on sunday november 4th olympus experts will be on hand at the currys store in cambridge .  from 10:30am until .  .  .  http/URL,$
@king_ranjhna Good Morning Bharat Mata Ki Jai,@king_ranjhna good morning triumph for mother india
@Sharanyashettyy haan.. Par mila nahi kuch,@Sharanyashettyy yes.. but we didnt find anything
@tyagidehpa Shukriya tyagi ji...honoured: ),@tyagidehpa thank you tyagi ji...honoured
main to bachi hui chalk bhi chhupa deta tha .  jisse ki bar bar lene jaana pade .,i'm still saved used to hide chalk even .. so that would have to go to bring it
Akshay . Ok same u,akshay ok same you
Kanhaiya Kumar kya hai ?,what is kanhaiya kumar?
@Stuffcool appoints #LinTeractive as its digital partner | ET BrandEquity https://t.co/cJvOWQ3540 @MLLGroup #Lowe,$
@someUSER no live nba game tomorrow ?  only postgames of knicks/heat and clippers/grizzlies ?  pls air the game of knicks against heat live .,@someUSER no live nba game tomorrow ?  only postgames of knicks/heat and clippers/grizzlies ?  please air the game of knicks against heat live .
Hallo salman vaiya ....,hello brother salman ....
its not only single person  .  .  .  .  state govt is main part of this riot  .  .  .,$
Yaar ye thodi taqleef dayak hai.,this is a bit troublesome
"coaching me hu #cricbuzz zindabaad ,  aaj ka topic to gaya , ","i'm at coaching all hail #cricbuzz ,  today's topic is gone ,"
i think i fell in love with a h10 girl  .  but i live in h13  .  is it possible to maintain a long distance relationship  ?,$
"Chalo aur kuch ho na ""ho Indian Govt. anjaane mein G ( for general ) ko ST se aage rakh diya ! #GST 0 Celebrate karlo G ( ji 0 )","so something happens or not atleast ""indian government accidentally added G ( for general ) before ST  ! #GST 0 celebrate it"
main suggestion dun  ?  filmy hero ban jaa  .   .   .  ishaqshaade ban jaa  .  .  .  :p 8-),should i give suggestion ? become filmy actor . . . become rebel lover
"udbilaao ke naam se ek dost yaad daa gaya ,  na jane kitne wicket aur maar khayi hai usne .  .  . ","by name of udbilaao i remember a friend now , do not know how many wickets and beatings he took"
@UnSubtleDesi to make it Muslim-Sikh-Isai,$
okay so today is tatum tuesday !  retweet if you like channing tatum !,$
abhi wahi se idea aaya ye likhne ka.. maine abhi 3 davai khayi hai :-/ @friendlii_ghost,just got the idea from there to write this.. i just ate 3 medicines @friendlii_ghost
Aray bahi aao ooo na .......??,oh brother come please .......??
"#GuessTheSong
Main meethe meethe sapne sajaane lagi","#GuessTheSong
i started decorating sweet sweet dreams"
@iKunaal haha.. Shaant bheem,@iKunaal haha.. silent bheem
@someUSER seriously i think he may pull out his gat and shoot me !  i need to call upon castle greyskull for my powers #ihavethepower,$
@hajjarjababi shooting chalu bhi nahi hui hai :D,@hajjarjababi shooting has not even started
RT @ShirishKunder : Aamir Khan's statement . Bhakts can wait for the Braille version . https://t.co/jJFFhXPOMH,$
Lagaa ke phone bataa de sabko...bachke rahiyo baagad bille se https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/814010714742407168 …,"call everyone and tell them ... save themselves from skunk
https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/814010714742407168 …"
"RT @coolfunnytshirt : Modi : Aur Sharif miyan , kaise hain ? Sharif : Bas sir , zinda hoon ... Dilwale dekhne ke baad bhi ! https://t.co/SnJ7S9","RT @coolfunnytshirt : Modi : and brother sharif, how are you ? Sharif : sir , i'm alive ... even after watching dilwale ! https://t.co/SnJ7S9"
@Stupid_minion @MildlyClassic hindi wale shows pe trust hi nahi hota to dekhna shuru hi nahi kar pata,@Stupid_minion @MildlyClassic i just dont get trust in watching hindi shows thats why i dont start
@jeetensingh haar ke baad kahi kuch aur na nikal jaye #NitishKaNakliVikas,@jeetensingh just look that after defeat something else doesnt comes out #NitishKaNakliVikas
aisa school ho to sunday ki bhi chutti na karun .  .  .  .,if schools are like this then i wont even take off on sundays .  .  .  .
"lol lol
Aagaya bhai?","laugh out loud laugh out loud
have you reached brother?
"
heat vs knicks first round of playoffs tomorrow !  !  !  #lebron#wade better bring it !  !  !,$
Ye commando bada khatarnak hai. Tumhaaara baap hai. Patta hilne se pehle hi paed kaat dalta hai. Lol. Rajkumar. #Legend #TirangaOnZeeCinema,"this commando is very dangerous. he's your father. before leaf moves he cuts the tree itself. laugh out loud. rajkumar. #Legend #TirangaOnZeeCinema
"
"@KameeniChhori har chiz paisa nahi hoti simran, kuchh pyar bhi hota hai.","@KameeniChhori not everything is money simran, some love is also there"
Iska matlab hai 63 kaand huay hain AAP mein https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/773789585084145664 …,this means there have been 63 bad events in aap https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/773789585084145664 …
@Marwaari hamari team sab record kar rahi hai,@Marwaari our team is recording everything
Yeh #JNU ke students ab DU ke fest mein bhi jane lage. Apne campus mein kuch nhi mill raha hain Kya.,these #JNU students are now being sent to du fest. arent they getting anything in their campus
AAJ KA GYAAN 󾌴󾌴boys will be boys 󾌪 inko agr gadha ghoda bakra kuch bi boldo inko cute hi lgta h 󾌩󾌩 #Acha_sorry_boys 󾌱 #Av,today's knowledge boys will be boys whatever you call them donkey horse goat they like it #Acha_sorry_boys #Av
thursday margarita day with poker sign in before 7:15 p . m .  and a funtastic time !  !  !  !  yeaha friday jaron bell (riannon bday party) reminder ,)
@clued_up_chic lol.. Maine to khola bhi nahi,@clued_up_chic laugh out loud.. i never even opened it
Me smjha hostel me itna late😄,i understood that this late in hostel
delhi's next chief minister arvind kejriwal .  .,$
Good night sir.....capil comedy..me aaye mamko bahut achha laga...Good.night.sahb g....,good night sir....capil comedy..you came and we felt very good...good night sir...
"@lack_a_daisy haaye, tumhare haathon se marna bhi pasand kar lunga :-P","@lack_a_daisy aww, i'd love to even die by your hands"
NY Times me bhi AAP wale hainhttps://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/737902081365921792 …,"app people even come in ny times
https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/737902081365921792 …"
@richazjoy haan tum bhi ho meri dost @SrBachchan @Being_Humor,@richazjoy yes you are also my friend @SrBachchan @Being_Humor
@Champ_Nikk tumhe kejriwal ke bachcho ki kasam,@Champ_Nikk you have a swear on kejriwal's kids
@SaffronAnil ha ha ha darao mat bhai,@SaffronAnil ha ha ha please dont scare me
PhD ke final year me Kanhaiya Kumar.pic.twitter.com/N02KkeQkbi,kanhaiya kumar in phd final year.pic.twitter.com/N02KkeQkbi
shaadi kab kar rahi hai usse?,when are you going to marry him?
"hadh hai, toh mujhe puch lete yahan.","to the extent, you could have asked me here."
@ImGM_05 sahi pakde hai,@ImGM_05 you caught it right
"excitement and danger #estatesales .  found old wwii shells ,  not inert !  spent time with bomb squad !  how is that for a monday ? ",$
@ppritam009 hahahaha bhai huge fan bhai pls an autograph bhai i love you bhai.,@ppritam009 hahahaha brother huge fan brother please an autograph brother i love you brother.
@ColdCigar sab mile hue hai ji,@ColdCigar everyone is involved
bhai mera rply jarur krna pehle hi bta du ,-) apne khud hi bola hai main sare comment padhta hu ye v pdh lia hoga apne :-D
"1 aur failure! #notebandi main bar-2 niyam ""badla now #GST! kam karna sai pehla budhiman sochta ""h aur kam karna ka bad murakh sochta h",1 more failure! changed 2 rules in #notebandi now  #GST! a wise man thinks before doing his job and a fool thinks after doing his job
"HAAH HAAH! Koi na ek din hum duniya pe raj karenge, magar aaj nahi aaj weekend hai. #PiLeneDo","HAAH HAAH! one day will come when we will rule over the world, but not today today is weekend. #PiLeneDo"
@byomkesbakshi badhai laundo  @iamkits,@byomkesbakshi congrats boys  @iamkits
@someUSER that's what i like to hear !  friday is my margarita day,$
i have a strong sense for who this guys might be ( not 100% sure though )  .  and looking at some of the past comments you should be able to at least make a good guess  .,$
@abhitajain11 woh kaise karte hai?,@abhitajain11 how to do that?
Mukul Kumar Hitesh Khatpalani Manish Barnwal see this .. https://t.co/P5JgmFryhs,$
@Choti_Daku aapse bada kaun ho sakta hai woh _/\_,@Choti_Daku who is he bigger than you
@Priya_Menon Kheera hai sada ke liye.,@Priya_Menon its cucumber for eternity
Ek hi aankh mein?,in one eye only?
hahhahahaha .  .  so true .  .  doosre section wale toh chhupa diya karte the .  .  kehte the aagaye fir maangne .  . :-(,hahhahahaha .  .  so true .  .  other section used to hide it .  .  used to say they have come to ask for it again .  . 
Indian ki har jeet pakistan ko bohat khushi deti hai . lol . #IndvsSA,every win of india makes pakistan happy. laught out loud. #IndvsSA
@HolySmokeee kal dekh ke batata hu,@HolySmokeee will tell you after seeing tomorrow
@ayazsamoo Bhai ap ke tweet is tension k mahool me hasane ka kaam kr rahe hai ...! 😂😂😂😉😉😉Keep tweeting !!!,@ayazsamoo brother your tweet is making me laugh in this tension filled atmosphere ...! keep tweeting !!!
"@yaksshi koi pyar se chehre par haath bhi laga de, bas",@yaksshi someone please touch my face by love
RT @Trendulkar : Nice of Virat Kohli to run out Rohit and take the Man of the match .,$
"@ModiBihar Kuch bhi karlo...

Modiji ke sar pe hoga jeet ka ""sehra""...

 #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra","@ModiBihar do whatever you can...

modiji is going to have the winning crown on his head

 #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra"
"""Poore 5 minute suni maine Rahul Gandhi ki speech.."" ~ Sangakkarapic.twitter.com/LpujNSslLK","""complete 5 minutes i listened to rahul gandhi's speech.."" ~ Sangakkarapic.twitter.com/LpujNSslLK"
@Dishasatra neend nahi aati?,@Dishasatra dont you get sleep?
@AkkiTalks Bass whats app pe rehta hoon .. accha love punjab dekho amrinder ki .. angrez se better hai . don't late dis tym . AKSHAY On Majha Katta,"@AkkiTalks i stay only on whatsapp .. okay see love punjab of amrinker .. he's better than british . dont late this time . akshay on majha katta
"
"Wah wah maja aa gya !! Indian Govt. should host an International Hindi song compitition !! Tarrakki bahut ho gayi ab thoda entertainment ho jai, 'Kyo bhayio aur behno' ???",bravo bravo feeling joyful !! indian government should host an internation hindi song competiiton !! we have enough of progress now lets have some entertainment 'so what you say brothers and sisters' ??
"@MeetUunngLee Aap Arnold ke bhateeje ho, aise na bolo","@MeetUunngLee you're arnold's niece, dont say like that"
@golumechanics bhai Bday to mujhe Scarlett Johansson ka bhi pata hai.. But usse kuch fayda nahi @huh_watnow,@golumechanics brother i even know scarlet johansson's birthday but its of no use @huh_watnow
exactly .  .  .  isliye 4 in 1 hi liya karte the .  .  .  :d,exactly .  .  .  that's why i used to take 4 in 1.  .  .  
@SangitaSri Kya baat hai Sangeetha ji. :),@SangitaSri awesome sangeetha ji
mitra kha se late ho aise vichar .  .  .  . mummi kya khilati h tumko .  .,friend where do you get such thoughts from.  .  .  . what does your mummy makes you eat .  .
looking soo handsm???,looking so handsome???
jahan usulo par bat aaye waha takrana jaruri hai ... jo ho jinda to jinda nazar aana jarruri hai 0 #msdhoni #dhoni @msdhoni #respect #respect,should tackle when it comes on the principles... if you're alive then you should seem to be alive 0 #msdhoni #dhoni @msdhoni #respect #respect
4 baj gaye lekin party abhi baki h...,its 4 already but party is still on...
Tum haraamiyom mein se koi ek nahi bolta chal beer pilata hu. Ghanta followers.,none of you rascals ever say lets go for beer. fake followers.
Sunne mai aaya hai k #TripleTalaq k baad kuch ladke court jakr Qubool hai replace krke #bolozubaankesri ki maang ki hai ... #vimaaltroll,i hear now that after #TripleTalaq some boys got to court and replaced accepted with #bolozubaankesri #vimaaltroll
"Dear Americans "" Mere taap se tumhe ek hi aadmi bacha sakta hai "" ek hi aadmi ... vo hai - mai khud 0 Sincerely Yours ~ Donald J TRUMP #TRUMP :) :) :)","dear americans "" only one man can save you from my rage "" only one man ... and he is - me 0 sincerely yours ~ donald j trump #TRUMP"
"kal 4 pm wait karna,aj ka din nikal gya,bevkufo,girl to puri puri bevkuf hoti hai,","yesterday waited till 4pm, today whole day gone, brainless girls are complete brainless"
Naqli note ke liye #NoteBandi ho sakti hai to naqli vote ke liye #EVMBandi kyo nahi.,if we can have #NoteBandi for fake notes why cant we have #EVMBandi for fake votes
@s_manjari semi? Ye kya hota hai?,@s_manjari semi? what is it?
bhai....hum tumhare bareme sab jaante hai..kya question aur kya answer....we love you.....abto bss movie release ho...usi din jashn hoga....Eid mubarak in advance..........,brother....we know everything about you..what questiona and what answer....we love you....now just get movie released...that day we'll celebrate....eid mubarak in advance
"@Nomadic_Soul_ haha chhodo, competition barabar walon se hota hai. Lara Dutta ke fans se nahi!","@Nomadic_Soul_ haha leave it, competition is always with equals. not with lara dutta fans!"
@RoflGandhi_ unka intezar karna bhi bekar hai bhai!,@RoflGandhi_ waitiing for them is also waste!
LOL! Hadh hai bhai,laugh out loud! this is to an extent brother
main gag padhne se pehle hi like maar deta hun .  . pata hai accha hi hoga .  .  . ,)
"Bilkul, waise talent ki kami nahi hai.","sure, by the way there is no talent shortage"
Sir @narendramodi pls last ke 10 minute ka pehle bol do.. daru khareedne bhi jana hai,sir @narendramodi please can you speak the last 10 minutes in starting itself.. have to go to buy alcohol also
Bhai @Its_Badshah ko challenge kar diya? Abhi toh party shuru hui hai! #ChallengeForBadshahhttps://twitter.com/MissMalini/status/717263941269762048 …,brother he has challenged @Its_Badshah? now the party has started #ChallengeForBadshahhttps://twitter.com/MissMalini/status/717263941269762048 …
Jis #AntiNationalist ka koi nahi hota uska @ndtv hota hai .. #JNU ka sahara @ndtv,the #AntiNationalist who has no one they have last support in @ndtv .. support of #JNU @ndtv
"Kalamwali bai theek kehti thi, jo kog 1947 se Quraan aur Bible padh kar nahi jaage woh tumhara akhbar padh kar kya jagenge? #Nana #OneSide",pensive woman was right when she said those who didnt wake up after reading quraan and bible after 1947 how will they wake up now?  #Nana #OneSide
@shilpitewari @Olacabs ye kya bakwas AD hai ?,@shilpitewari @Olacabs what a rubbish advertisement this is?
Bhai aap bimar ho kya????bolti bandh kyu haii??,brother are you ill ???? why are you not saying anything??
@Ojasism @TweetErrant @BolshoyBooze CHUPPP KARRRRRpic.twitter.com/nqghht92j6,@Ojasism @TweetErrant @BolshoyBooze shut your mouth pic.twitter.com/nqghht92j6
@IamAbhijit Kyu bhai Vo accha tha😜 ONE MONTH FOR FAN,@IamAbhijit why brother he was good one month for fan
@doctor_sidhant aap bahut rare breed ho. Sab ambani agent mein ek tata agent mila,@doctor_sidhant you are a rare breed. in all ambani agents got one tata agent
@BeingReva kaha thi aap.. Bade din baad darshan hue,@BeingReva where were you.. got to see you after many days
who would go see @someUSER with me at dar constitution hall on sunday evening ?,who would go see @someUSER with me at there constitution hall on sunday evening ?
"""lavaange poora Kashmir lavaange, Pakistan ka Kashmir...LAVAANGE"" 
- English speaking Bilawal Bhuttohttps://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/746272130992644096 …","""will bring whole kashmir, pakistan's kashmir .. will bring"" 
- english speaking bilawal bhuttohttps://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/746272130992644096 …"
@huh_watnow aaj phir daaru pee tumne,@huh_watnow are you drunk today again
@BloodyKamina bas kar Tharak Mehta,@BloodyKamina leave now lusty mehta
You don't deserve to crap at all bro ,)
"RT @faisals97069761 : Unbelievable OLD RATE WAS 315 AND NEW RATE IS 508 , KOE HAI JO EN COMPANIES KO LAGAM DAL SAKAI https://t.co/NTkePqE8FP","rt @faisals97069761 : unbeleievable old rate was 315 and new rate is 508, is anyone here who can put a leash on english companies https://t.co/NTkePqE8FP"
achha bolo toh bhi taqleef hai. Ajeeb hai ye toh.,if said something good then its a proble. this is very strange
Salman bhai apke 50000 comments pure hone bale hai.,salman brother your 5000 comments are getting nearer now
Tu late ho gaya uthne me.. subah thi,you got late in waking up.. it was morning
@JoinAAP @prena_ baap re baap free khor ho saare Ke saare #AAPtards . Mehnat se kuch mat karna,@JoinAAP @prena_ father oh father everyone is freeloader #AAPtards .. dont do any hard work
ye aajadi wali to iske liye chhod do .,leave this freedom girl for him .
Biceps 17 inchi banane ke liye kya kare.give me some tips.,what to do to make 17 inch biceps.give me some tips.
@BolshoyBooze Yo Man! Nurse badi badhiya thi jisne plaster baanda,@BolshoyBooze yo man! the nurse who plastered me was very good
Dhande se bada koi #climatedeal nai hota 0 Uff ... Baniye ka dimag aur TrumpBhai ki daring #Parisagreement,there is no #climatedeal bigger than business 0 phew ... brain of baniya and brother trump's daring #Parisagreement
@KajuBadamChor hahaha aa gaya mera bhai @hinnaz,@KajuBadamChor hahaha my brother is here @hinnaz
kash guddu ki aur hum sabki ma samjh pati .  .  .  match k din hamara pet match se hi bharta hai .  .,hoping guddu's mother would have understood.  .  .  on the day of match our stomach gets full by only match.  .
#Pakistan Ki halat to aisi h jaise Dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka #trump,the condition of #Pakistan is like washerman's dog can be neither of home nor riverside #trump
"Chotta bacha samaj ke
Tu mera dil tu meri jaan
Lakdi ki kaathihttps://twitter.com/badechote/status/798151803288178688 …","thinking of me like a small kid
you are my heart and my life
wooden cradlehttps://twitter.com/badechote/status/798151803288178688 …"
@indiantweeter bhai kitne dubey?,@indiantweeter brother how much did you lose?
RT @SrkianAjh : @JoySrkian @shaharyarkhan61 Kingu .. Gaadi me kuch the kya ?? 😂😂😂 #DilwaleOnSony,RT @SrkianAjh : @JoySrkian @shaharyarkhan61 kingu .. was there something in car‚ #DilwaleOnSony
"G1: Ka kar rahi ho behen, bahot busy lag rahi ho aaj kal
G2: Haan yaar, duniya ko batane mein busy hu ke aajkal dieting chal rahi hai.","g1: what are you doing sister, seems like you're very busy
g2: yeah, i am busy in telling the world that i am on dieting these days"
RT @namratavy : @lifelovesuma intezaar ka phal is sweet .. gangaa ke hot dreams se Accha hoga real romance 😍😍😁😁,rt @namratavy : @lifelovesuma fruit of wait is sweet .. real romance will be better than hot dreams of ganga
@Insane_chorri @ghost_particle maar daalo sab mil ke,@Insane_chorri @ghost_particle everyone get together and kill
@sayshardik :-D ajab aadmi hai,@sayshardik he is a weird man
"tumhare papa ne naam rakha hai kya tumhara? Chaman achha naam hai, suit karta hai.","your father has named you what? chaman it is a good name, suits you."
"@Choti_Daku arre waah, matlab aaj poora twitter pakne wala hai","@Choti_Daku awesome, means whole twitter is going to get cooked"
"#Sallu_bhai mere ko prsnly msg kr do ek baar... Bhai #kuchh_khas hai aap ke lye,  whatsapp 8083503086","#Sallu_bhai please reply to me personally one time... brother there's something #kuchh_khas for you ,  whatsapp 8083503086"
"hy bhai,life ek wish hai bas ek bar tumhe gaale milooo......","hi brother, my wish in this life is to hug you once....."
Jihad is like a Salman Khan movie. Jisko samjhi uski nikal padi.,jihad is like a salman khan movie. the one who understands gets high.
bhai upar wala jab bhi deta.. deta chappar phaad ke,"brother whenever god gives, gives by tearing off roof"
tere hath bot garm h .  .  remember .  .  ?,your hand is very hot . . remember . . ?
very dhamaka song pichli baar jumme ki raat &iss baar party ki raat wow..party aapki taraf se iss party mehi kick hai...,very blasting song last time friday night & this time party night..party from your side only this party has the kick...
"@Shahrcasm LOL.. Maine aajtak dhokha nahi diya,, bas khaya hai","@Shahrcasm laught out loud.. i've never deceived anyone, have only faced it"
@nickhunterr kuch pata chale aisa bol,@nickhunterr know something like that
Lag raha he #JioFilmfareAwards nahi dekh rahe #Jio ki ads dekh rahe he .. Network slow aur faltu ho raha he ab toh ..,it seems like we are not seeing #JioFilmfareAwards but we are seeing #Jio advertisements .. netowork is not getting slow and bad ..
@puks100 @imVkohli chalo late nahi hue,@puks100 @imVkohli atleast we did not get late
@coolfunnytshirt ha ha ha sahi baat hai :),@coolfunnytshirt ha ha ha yes its right
Yehh Gujju ne fir se kamal kr diya .... vaah MukeshBhai Vaah ... aap JIO hazaro saall ... #jio #JioSummerSurpriseOffer,this gujarati has done amazing again .... wow mukeshbhai wo ... may you live thousand years ...  #jio #JioSummerSurpriseOffer
@Fussy_Ca Dulhe raja se pooch lepic.twitter.com/hFYDMvh7HD,@Fussy_Ca Dulheask rajapic.twitter.com/hFYDMvh7HD
@someUSER just another reminder of my request for you guys to sing kingdom come on thursday .  .  .  and safe and sound ,)
"No ball thi, out nahi hai... main nahi deta batting jao... meri bat haihttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/854650645646786560 …","it was no ball, not out... i am not giving bat, just go... its my bat https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/854650645646786560 …"
@Ra_Bies bas aap sirf mujhe hi gaaliyan do bas,@Ra_Bies you just keep on abusing me
"game k mamle  , me top .  .  .  padhai me phussssss","in the field of game, i'm at top . . . but in case of studies, i'm nothing"
@Aashi_81 mujhe pata tha tum believe nahi karogihttps://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/668970737714257920 …,@Aashi_81 i knew that you wont beleive https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/668970737714257920 …
@narendramodi Ab har baar Modi sarkaar,@narendramodi now everytime modi government
@JhaSanjay Congress AAP sab mile hue hai ji @ArvindKejriwal @OfficeOfRG,@JhaSanjay congress aap everyone is together @ArvindKejriwal @OfficeOfRG
Modi ji pehle pls iski job lagwao.. Maha vella haihttps://twitter.com/JhaSanjay/status/640779141026025472 …,modi sir please give him some job.. he is total useless https://twitter.com/JhaSanjay/status/640779141026025472 …
Astrologer Sidharth On Mahashivratri with RJ Rohit Kullad as big jyotish guru @ 92.7 Big FM by Astrologer S http://t.co/bv2yLRU8O8,$
Nasha sharab mein hota toh naachti botal.pic.twitter.com/cRKNp8Yvxr,if alcohol had toxics then bottle would have danced too. pic.twitter.com/cRKNp8Yvxr
Because in the end reality kicks in! Samose khaa kar hogaya ab kaam par lag jao!,because in the end reality kicks in! now if you've eaten then better get on to work
@Sab_PK out ho gaya :D inna accha khel raha tha,@Sab_PK he got out was playing so well
Twitter par bold me likhne se bank wale tumhare ghar aakar paise nahi dene wale. Bank me jaakar line me lago.. https://twitter.com/LEDtvn/status/798421974318022656 …,by writing in bolds on twitter people from bank wont come to your house and give money. go to bank and stand in the line https://twitter.com/LEDtvn/status/798421974318022656 …
Kya hogaya bhai? Lol,what happened brother? laugh out loud
cebu's original lechon belly in parkmall joins the bazaar in it park next fri . -nov 9 .  taste the boneless lechon belly the way it was created,cebu's original lechon belly in parkmall joins the bazaar in it park next friday . -nov 9 .  taste the boneless lechon belly the way it was created
Phir bhi dil hai Hindustani ... AB's Commentary ... #wc2015 #indvspak #excited #amitabhbachchan #commentary watching Pakistan vs India,then also heart is indian ... ab's commentary ... #wc2015 #indvspak #excited #amitabhbachchan #commentary watching pakitan vs india
bete peida hote rahe to in beto ki shadi kisse krwayega .  .  .  ramdev ji plz koi beti peida hone wali dwai b bnaiye,if only boys keep taking birth then how are we going to marry them ... ramdev sir please make some medicine to bring more girls to birth
@HathwalaThakur iske 5 second baad wali photu nahi hai?,@HathwalaThakur dont we have a photo after 5 second of this?
Pawan Tez tune likha h ?,pawan tez have you written ?
@AapGhumaKeLeyLo Kaisi jeebh laplapayee,@AapGhumaKeLeyLo how tongue lapper
go india go .  jay hind,go india go .  . victory to india
salman bhai muje ek gaddi gift krde yr ?,salman brother please gift a car to me ?
@Lala_The_Don inke chehre pe kaalik poti jayegi is baar  #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra,@Lala_The_Don we'll make their face black this time #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra
that means ur menu chart must also include salt n water .  .  .  . hahaha,that means your menu chart also includes salt and water . . . . hahaha
#Dhoni ek MSD hain jo team ki sochte hain aur capatincy tyag dete hain aur dusri taraf MSY hain ( mulayam ) jo kuch bhi tyaagne ko ready nahi,#Dhoni one side their is msd who thinks of his team and gives up on his captaincy and other side their is msy ( mulayam ) who is not ready to sacrifice anything
Data pack aur sasta karo ....,make data packs more cheap ....
@IAMSUNNYDEOL Sunny Paji aap Pakistan ka handpump ukhaad sakte ho.. Par hashtag theek se nahi laga sakte ??,@IAMSUNNYDEOL sunny brother you can pull out pakistan's handpump.. but cant use hashtag properly ??
"Kuchh dinon mein umeed karta hun J&K isme integrate ""karlega Kucch log virodh karenge lekin virodh ke saath bhi loktantra chalta hai-FM #GST",i hope that in some j&k will get integrated into this some people will oppose but with opposition also democracy works - fm #gst
sapne to dekho 500K  @iamGunjanGrunge,look at their dreams 500K  @iamGunjanGrunge
Aung San Suu Kyi with Mother of Sanu Kipic.twitter.com/qXFwpCigal,aung san suu kyi with mother of sanu pic.twitter.com/qXFwpCigal
awesome ....agr isi trh sare mulk smzdar ho jae to dusmni rhegi hi nhi......plz #Being_Human,awesome ....if like this all nations get understandable then their will be no enemies.....plz #Being_Human
@RashtrapatiBhvn bahut hi romachak hai . I proud of Indian air-force . Bharat mata ki jai,@RashtrapatiBhvn this is very thrilling . i am proud of ndian air-force . victory to mother india
@drpoonam Dhai kilo ka haath? :P,@drpoonam hand of two and half kilo?
plzz aajaao yar....itna enry roza rkhne me ktm nahi hoti..jitni apka w8 krne me ho rhi h....plzz come na.....plzzzz....,please come....i dont lose as much energy in keeping fast as in waiting for you...please come...please...
@coolfunnytshirt ha ha ha...bahut badhiya :),@coolfunnytshirt ha ha ha...bahut badhiya :)
Pyaar hume kis mod pe le aayaa.. #YoNitishSoTantrikpic.twitter.com/Hk7ahA63eZ,"love brought us to which crossroads #YoNitishSoTantrik pic.twitter.com/Hk7ahA63eZ
 "
Oh bhai mere ye bhi bata de ki #RahulGandhi jihadi jignes mevani aur unar khalid ka support kyun kar rahe hain? Does #RahulGandhi wants a divided India 0 Why #RahulGandhi support #TripleTalaq ?,oh brother of mine just tell me why #RahulGandhi is supporting jihadi jignes mevani and unar khiladi? does #RahulGandhi wants a divided India 0 why #RahulGandhi support #TripleTalaq ?
mobile number or password daalke login kar do .  .  .,login after entering mobile number and password . . . 
"Jo log prisma filter ke baad bhi bure dikhte hai, unka sirf bhagwaan hi maalik hai.","people who look bad even after prisma filter, only god is their support then."
Bachhe Mann Ke Sachhe. #SMJ #AamirKhan #KuchChaunkaDeneWalaImagepic.twitter.com/Qpd2X2IV1H,"Children true to mind. #SMJ #AamirKhan #KuchChaunkaDeneWalaImagepic.twitter.com/Qpd2X2IV1H
"
@indiantweeter plij mujhe bhi,@indiantweeter please me also
"Tumhi ho mata, Peta tumhi ho'

~ animals","you are mother and peta too'

~ animals"
@huh_watnow hum bane tum bane. Ek dooje ke liye,@huh_watnow we both are for each other
Kya halchal h guru ji ☺,how is it going master
"Maaf kar do bhai, galti ho gayipic.twitter.com/w9AbkK2FYa","please forgive me, i had done a mistake pic.twitter.com/w9AbkK2FYa"
Aaaa bhi jaa.. Aaaa bhi jaa... Bajrangi bhaijaan aaaa bhi jaa,come on.. come on.. bajrangi brother come on
RT @AB_Ali714 : Some twisted souls from Lahore and Islamabad bashing KPK govt for not giving protection to Chinese on CPEC route !,rt @AB_Ali714 : some twisted souls from lahore and islamabad bashing kpk government for not giving protection to chinese on cpec route !
"We all are racists, koi kaala insaan dikha nahi usse madrasi bol diya. Arre bhia Nigerian bhi toh ho sakta hai.","we all are racists, the moment we see a black man we call him south indian. oh brother he can be nigerian too."
Kyun tum paise doge naya sochne ke?,will you give money to think something new?
"@sagarcasm main hafte bhar se huu, magar selfies chhod kar kya upload karu kuch nahi samajh raha :D","@sagarcasm i am here since one week, but cant think of what else to upload instead of selfies"
match wale din bhi office aana pada but koi na boss se chhupte chhupate online live streaming chalu hai .  .  .  .  .  . go india go .,"i have to come to office even on the day of match, but no worries, somehow keeping it hidden i have kept on the live streaming . . . . . go india go."
@someUSER 1win from the superbowl !  game tomorrow at noon !  git r done !  http/URL,@someUSER one win from the superbowl !  game tomorrow at noon !  git arr done !  http/URL
"kaash ,  nintendo (aur baaki saare game/console manufacturers) humey khel ne ke paise dete ,  toh aaj naukri nahi karni padhti .  .  . ",i wish nintendo (and other game/console manufacturers) would give us money to play then i would not have to do a job
guddu ki khud ki problem khdi ho gai h ,-)
:'( ab karna padta hai ye sab,now we have to do these things
@NaughtyDew_ ye kaun hai ?,@NaughtyDew_ who is this?
Reply kardo yaar.. Senior citizens ko pareshaan karna theek nahi.. 2-4 din ki aur zindagi hai inkihttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/640778670345334784 …,please reply back.. its not good to make senior citizens anxious... they just are going to live for 2-4 days more https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/640778670345334784 …
@Atheist_Krishna Tere kisse chape hai akhbaar mepic.twitter.com/Kc6CE6pbAn,@Atheist_Krishna your deeds are printed in the newspaper pic.twitter.com/Kc6CE6pbAn
chahe kitni bhi games ho .  .  khelenge to mario aur contra hi .  .,no matter the number of games they have . . they will play mario and contra only . .
@twinitisha kya karein ab? Koi log toh naam puchte hai aur turant gayab ho jaate hai,"@twinitisha what can we do now? some people ask name and the very next moment they disappear
"
"3 stages of life of Sagarika Ghose:

1) Janam 

2) Humpe ye kisne hara rang daala.. Khushi ne hamari.. Hume.. Maar dala..

3) Maut","3 stages of life of sagarika ghose:

1) birth 

2) who has colored me green..my happiness...has killed me..

3) death"
@PMOIndia sir kya ye #GST bhi hm student ko hi pay krna hai ab... Kya yahi #ache_din hain hm students ke liye...,@PMOIndia sir the #GST needs to be paid by us students or what...are these the #ache_din for us students
really me arushi ke murder kisne kiya tha abi tak pata nahi .  .  .,in reality we still dont know who has murdered arushi
Bhai @Atheist_Krishna DP me kutta kaun sa hai pata hi nahi chal raha,brother @Atheist_Krishna display pic who is the dog cant figure out 
@Lala_The_Don Modi jee aa gaye hain unhe andhere se nikaalne k liye  #ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao,@Lala_The_Don modi is here to take them out of darkness #ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao
"@IamSalaar Kya bhai , Dafan karne aaye the khud hi dafan ho gaye . lol","@IamSalaar what brother, you were here to bury him and now yourself are buried . laugh out loud"
watching republic day parade is better then the watching india playing cricket match .  .  .  . jai hind .  .  .  .,watching republic day parade is better than watching india playing cricket match .  .  .  . victory to india .  .  .  .
@dwivedi_ji12 wo aaj bhi lalten liye ghoom rahe hai. #JunglerajEpisode2,@dwivedi_ji12 he is roaming around carrying a lantern. #JunglerajEpisode2
2 centuries by rahul dravid in 1999 wc . @StarSportsIndia #OwnTheJersey,$
"he is love. I love him man. @MeetUunngLee bhai, ye Mishrajee hamare dost hai aur bahot badhiya insaan hai","he is love. I love him man. @MeetUunngLee brother, mishrajee is my friend and a very good human"
"on november 16 ; me ,  my mom ,  and my sister are going to see  "" breaking dawn: part 2 ""  #judgeus",$
Ab ye khabar kaun faila raha hai ki Gujrat election ke baad sabke khaate mein 1-1 #BitCoin #NarendraModi ji dalwane wale hain ? Tab tak 1 bitcoin #ERROR ! # 15 lakh ho jaayega 0 ,)
"demon gaze ,  a next-gen dungeon rpg for the the playstation vita [1st trailer and screens]: kadokawa games today  .  .  .  http/URL",$
@narendramodi Ji Gujarat ke Vikas ki jagah India ke vikas ki bat ki jaye to kahi behatar hoga. India ko notebandhi aur #GST ke result chahiye.,@narendramodi instead of gujarat's development if we talk about india's development then it will be better. india needs result of demonitesation and #GST.
tujhe kaise nahi pata yeh? Tujhe toh sab pata hota hai na?,how do you know this? you know everything?
karma is a bitch !! dnt worry,karma is a bitch !! dont worry
@Alllahdin koi kaam ka nahi hai tu,@Alllahdin you are of no use
"first day filming on dancing on ice tomorrow ,  should be interesting . ",$
@ashlesha_as Visa ya aadhaar card ,)
@indiantweeter tu bas aish kar bhai.,@indiantweeter you just enjoy brother
"hackers have already defeated windows 8 ,  and readwrite mobile ranked it 5th in interface design ,  behind ios and android . ",$
"tere liye nahi tha bhai, tujhe mute kiya hua hai..","it was not for you brother, i have muted you.."
aur to aur chalk k chote chote tukde bhi zma kerte they .  .  . ya dusre section k black board k neeche pade tukde bhi la k dete they kabhi :p,and you used to collect small small pieces of chalk . . .or you would just collect chalk from other section black board that were fallen down
@HolySmokeee Shruti interval ke baad aayegi,@HolySmokeee shruti will come after interval
"@Alllahdin jhooth bole kauva kaate, kaale kauve se dariyo main-jamiaca chali jaungi tum dekhte rahiyo","@Alllahdin the one who lies is bitten by crow, fear the black crow- i will go to jamaica and you just keep on watching"
"There's a hindi saying, shaana kauva gu khaata hai.pic.twitter.com/gjJaLC3MnK","there is a hindi saying, smart crow eats shit.pic.twitter.com/gjJaLC3MnK"
@Hitesh1123 ho sakta hai,@Hitesh1123 its possible
obama is good for israel: tens of millions of americans will go to the polls on tuesday to vote for a president  .  .  .  http/URL,$
@YearOfRat ab yahin hu main bhai :-),@YearOfRat now am here only
r . i . p,rest in peace
"@ek_samosa_dena gaye woh din, ab haalat theek nahi hai ","@ek_samosa_dena gaye that day, now health is not good"
on the plus side @someUSER have a gig on saturday night at the lexington - come along :),$
"Barkha Dutt, Sagarika Ghose and Rajdeep Sardesai at the moment. #YakubToHangpic.twitter.com/sSr1lLR7WD",$
@Retributions kidhar sar phod rahe ho Friday night. Daru nahi piye kya,"@Retributions where are you banging your head on friday night, did not you have anything to drink"
"after the 9th of november ,  i'll be partying like the teenagers in project x . ",$
mujhe waise bhi thodi si chidh hai metaphorical poetries se! :D @scaryhairyman,anyways i have a bit irritation with metaphorical poetries @scaryhairyman
Sir #GST pe yeh gyan baṅṭna band kijiye! GSTN ki website pe ek return file karo pata chalega! Har cheez ka dam badha diya!,sir stop giving this knowledge on #GST! try to file a return on gstin website! cost of every item is increased now!
@ROFLaaLa Lala bhai aapke baare me jitni tareef suni thi.. Aap usse bhi 2 peg zyada ho,"@ROFLaaLa lala brother whatever praises i have heard about you.. you are even 2 peg more than that
"
@PriyancaBajaj kya likha tha? Bahot pi li thi miss hua hoga,@PriyancaBajaj what did you write? i was drunk a lot must have missed
@BloodyKamina Taare.. Bhai tu pls AAP ko vote mat dena,"@BloodyKamina taare.. brother,please don't vote for AAP
"
"@YouDontKnowWho_ hum bhi ""Interstellar"" se leke ""tu hatt main lagu"" tak sab kuch dekh lete hain.","@YouDontKnowWho_ we too watch everything from ""Interstellar"" to ""Tu Hatt Main Lagu"".
"
kuch jain engineers bhi hote hai :p,"there are also some engineers who are jain
"
@Atheist_Krishna jis mein tune ek photo daali hai?,@Atheist_Krishna the one in which you put a photo?
@Ra_Bies wo to pehle ki baat thi purba kuch nahi ho sakta @akshaykanitkar,"@Ra_Bies it was in the old times that nothing could be done  @akshaykanitkar
"
police: you have the right to remain silent .  what ever you say may be hel against you me: harry styles,"police: you have the right to remain silent . what ever you say may be held against you, me: harry styles"
Aaj jis bhi Paki ko reply karo.. '#जयहिन्द' zaroor add karo.. Gaand jal k kali ho jaegi unki.. Aur trend bhi hota rahega,"if you reply to a pakistani today, make sure to add  '#जयहिन्द' in it, their asses would be roasted to black , and it would also keep on trending"
@iMademoiselle kya hua re tujhe?,@iMademoiselle what happened to you?
Nahi.. Theater me gaye to bohot the.. Bahar koi nahi aaya.. #Gunda https://twitter.com/Insane_chorri/status/627907559500873728 …,no .. when I went to the theater there were a lot of people .. but afterwards no one came out .. #Gunda https://twitter.com/Insane_chorri/status/627907559500873728 …
"#AskObamaModi

Choli ke peeche kya hai ?? Chunari ke neeche ??","#AskObamaModi

what's behind the corset
?? under the crust
 ??"
Hahaa le li @RanaAyyub ki,hahaa @RanaAyyub got smoked
#ManmohanSingh Ne Jaunpur Ko Chupchap 5 Direct Trains De Diya Tha 0 @Narendramodi Ne Jaunpur Ko 0 Train Diya Hai 0 Shame on @Sureshpprabhu,"#ManmohanSingh silently gave 5 direct trains to jaunpur whereas @Narendramodi gave 0 direct trains to jaunpur, shame on @Sureshpprabhu"
@sahilmjain @shivanimehra86 tab tak bandh ho chuka tha,@sahilmjain @shivanimehra86 it was closed by then
"Krantikaariyon ki taadad din ba din bhaari sankhya mein badhti nazar aarahi hai, kya yeh hi hai vikas?https://twitter.com/jinitjain08/status/878626268987764737 …","the number of revolutionaries is increasing in large numbers day by day, is this development? https://twitter.com/jinitjain08/status/878626268987764737 …
"
"@oxymoronic_me theek hai, hota hai. We must meet","@oxymoronic_me it's ok, it happens .we must meet"
@rubikaliyaquat phir aaj tak aur zee news ki value aasmaan par jayegi .. super idea ..,@rubikaliyaquat then aaj tak and zee news's value will sky rocket.. super idea ..
"mil jayega yaar, Nikhil ko pata hoga","we will find it man, nikhil will know
"
"Peacock: 
Aaj ek hasi aur baant lo ... aaj ek dua aur maang lo ... aaj ek AANSOO aur pee lo.

Peahen:
I'm not ready for this ya!https://twitter.com/CNNnews18/status/869864500773625857 …","peacock: 
share a smile today ... pray for something today... drink a tear today.

peahen:
i'm not ready for this ya!https://twitter.com/CNNnews18/status/869864500773625857 …"
@premlata_rai oyye shaabji aap shoya nahi kya?,@premlata_rai hello sir how come you didn't sleep yet?
muze to bhashan sunke bahut hasi aya rahe the .   ?,i found the speech really funny
"nahi, ye filter hai. Named ""Holy Spirit""","no, it's a filter named ""Holy Spirit"""
"poori duniya bhai, pori duniya hila rahe hai hum :D","the whole world brother, we are shaking the whole world
"
bayern munich goalkeeper manuel neuer shows he could play in midfield v bayer leverkusen: bayern munich may have .  .  .  http/URL,bayern munich goalkeeper manuel neuer shows he could play in midfield vs. bayer leverkusen: bayern munich may have .  .  .  http/URL
@Mad_Mommy_ roti Q hai?,@Mad_Mommy_ why do you whine so uch?
Apne bhai @bhak_sala ke charche hai pic.twitter.com/bHjbFFscBh,our brother @bhak_sala is becoming famous pic.twitter.com/bHjbFFscBh
@AsifaMugal are aunty fobia kb se hua !!!! Accha father layege tumhare liye boy ..... ooooo,@AsifaMugal when did you get aunty fobia !!!! we'll get a good father for you..... ooooo
@PoojaMissra Ek din inn sab presstitutes ko hona padega gadhe par sawaar...  #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,@PoojaMissra one day these presstitutes will have to ride on donkeys ... #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar
@Alllahdin ___ deke dekho ___ deke dekho ____ deke dekho ji.,@Alllahdin ___ give your heart to me ___ give your heart to me____ give your heart to me please.
@huh_watnow aaj kitne dino ke baad gali me aaj chand nikla,"@ Han_watno it has been days since today the moon came out in the street
"
Dil me hindustaniyo ke liye nafrat le kar chal rahe ho.. To 'minority' ho tumhttps://twitter.com/ZAhmad__/status/662142504532340736 …,"if you are carrying on hatred for indians in your heart that means you are 'minority' https://twitter.com/ZAhmad__/status/662142504532340736 …
"
@twinitisha Meri to life hi sad ho gayee hai,@twinitisha my life has become sad
"Deewar fame dialog wil change : Amitji ; Mere pass gadi hai bungla hai paisa hai "" tumhare pas kya hai ? Shashiji ; Mere pasd #RightToPrivacy hai","deewar fame dialog wil change : amitji; i have car,house and money, what do you have? shashiji ; i have#RightToPrivacy"
@ashutosh83B Aap jaisa talentd banda jiske pass hoga woh top 50 kya top 5 pe pahunch jayega . Aap AK ko Punjab bhejke khud Delhi ke CM banjao .,@ashutosh83B one who has a talented guy like you by his side can easily reach top 5. send ak to punjab and make yourself the cm of delhi.
Refree ne paisa khaya hai.,refree has been bribed
Dhua dhua ho raha hai samaa.. Kahi to hai aag lagee..https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/684651549507874816 …,there's smoke everywhere.. there's fire somewere..https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/684651549507874816 …
"pareshan karte rehte hai guddu ko ,  aaram se bechara match bhi nahi dhek pata . ","they keep disturbing guddu , poor guy cannot even watch a game in peace. "
#GST ka kam karna #cooker ka safety valve kholne jaisa nahi lag raha kya...?????,doing #GST work is like  opening #cooker 's safety valve isn't it...?????
Kyu fb ke adhikariyo ke paas email nahi hai kya https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/638720686832287744 …,"what,do fbi officers not have a email?!! https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/638720686832287744 …"
@dhaikilokatweet bhai pendrive me daal dena meri  @BUnlimted @akshay_airlift @aamir_khan,@dhaikilokatweet save it in my pendrive @BUnlimted @akshay_airlift @aamir_khan
@vishalsingh713 agar pre leap ka shoot ho chuka hai ek pic post kar dijiye na with old cast :(,"@vishalsingh713 if pre leap has been shot, please post a pic with the old cast. :("
@PrathamOfficial koi rt nahi kar raha tha isliye,@PrathamOfficial because no one was retweeting
haha us time kuchh kaam aa gaya tha :),haha some urgent work came up at that time :)
yukti this made my nite :d  .  tod  .  mtlb todddddddddddddddddd,yukti this made my nite.
@kitAnurag hahaha. samajh nahi aa raha thanks bolun ya smooch ke liye aage badhun.,@kitAnurag hahaha. i am confused weather to say thanks or to lean ahead for a kiss.
"lol, itne paise nahi hai","lol, i don't have that much money"
".. kiyaa jaataa hai , aaj kal ye Technology motion Pictures Cameras mein bhi aa gaye hai , ho sakta hai ki Video cassette bhi achhi pictures .....",".. that is also being one , now-a-days this Technology has also arrived in motion Pictures Cameras , it is possible that video cassetes also have good pictures....."
AB gaya. Wo bi jayega. Sab jayenge. #IndvsSa,"ab got out. next one will get out as well, everyone will get out. #IndvsSa"
apne to kuch kiya nai siwai photo khichne ke .  .  .,you didn't do anything other than clicking pictures.  .  .
@MeetUunngLee @Being_Humor LOL. Mujhe bhi bahot puchha hai ladkiyon ne iske baare mein. Main bhi dhundta hu,@MeetUunngLee @Being_Humor LOL. i have also been asked for the same by a lot of girls. i'll also search for it
kaise ho bhaijan???? eagerly waiting for 17th,how are you bhaijan???? eagerly waiting for 17th
Sir dont lie.. 8th Nov ke pehle bhi SBI me withdrawal ke 20 minute lagte the https://twitter.com/anilkohli54/status/804595915814146048 …,sir dont lie.. before 8th nov it took 20 minutes for a withdrawal at sbi. https://twitter.com/anilkohli54/status/804595915814146048 …
Esa Player Pheli Bar Dekha Hai Jisne .. Balling Bhi ki Fielding Bhi ki ...,"this is the first time I have seen a player bowling as well as fielding.
"
hmmm bechara cute shaan  .  .  .  .  .  serious ho gya how sweet their frndship <3,"hmmm poor cute shan. . . . .  got serious, how sweet is their friendship <3
"
Ha ha ha...Kamal hai yaar ye aadmihttps://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/799664380707123200 …,ha ha ha...this guy is awesome https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/799664380707123200 …
"ek baar jarur try kare .  .  , ","must try it for once.  .  , "
@ek_samosa_dena shaka se toh aise hi lagta hai,@ek_samosa_dena looks like it from his face
bajrange bhai jan. flim ka nam kyu rakha sallu bhi,why did you name your movie bajrangi bhaijaan salman.
Ho Ho Ho Ravish ji ki le li @theFirstHandle  nehttp://myvoice.opindia.com/2016/11/baagon-mein-bahar-ravish-kumar/ …,ho ho ho ravish sir has been trashed @theFirstHandle nehttp://myvoice.opindia.com/2016/11/baagon-mein-bahar-ravish-kumar/ …
@Madan_Chikna @Alllahdin nahi mil raha yaar,@Madan_Chikna @Alllahdin i can't find it man
"Dear Gandhi Family,

De di hamein azaadi bina khadak bina dhaal (Gandhi)
Baaki Bhagat Singh aur sab kaun?

Stop selling GANDHIS

REGARDShttps://twitter.com/INCIndia/status/904556266818723840 …","dear gandhi family,

you gave us freedom without sword, without shield (gandhi)
the rest of bhagat singh and all did what?

stop selling gandhis

regards https://twitter.com/INCIndia/status/904556266818723840 …"
@251ravi dekh liya?,@251ravi did you see it?
Saakshat Bhagwan Bhai. SAAAKSHAT,"god was right in front of my eyes brother, right in front."
@KyaUkhaadLega Bhai charan sparsh.,"@Kukhadlega brother i touch you feet.
"
@Champ_Nikk aaja tujhe bhi pila du chai,"@Champ_Nikk come here, i'll buy a tea for you."
"Kangaroos kinhili khatam, ab unka diwala niklega #IndvsAus","kangaroos kinhili has ended, now they'll be thrashed#IndvsAus"
"Hangama hai kyu barpa, Daka to nahi dala, chori to nahi ki hai.... #GhulamAli","why is there a ruckus,i did not commit robbery, i have not committed theft…."
@BUnlimted aur Modi ji ko gaaliya dete hai.. Inhe pata bhi nahi inke achche din kab ke aa gaye @ColdCigar @LEDtvn,@BUnlimted and they abuse modi .. they don't even know that their good days have already arrived @ColdCigar @LEDtvn
@iMademoiselle mainpehle fursat mein ek salon hokar aajau? Ghanshu bhikari lag raha hu aaj kal. :P,@iMademoiselle can i first go to a salon? i am looking like a beggar at the moment. :P
hii bhaijaan...ab intjaar ni ho rha h...apse baat karni h,hii bhaijaan...now i can't wait...i want to talk to you
Mohe Rang dho laal #BajiraoMastani @deepikapadukone charming song !!,mohe rang dho laal #BajiraoMastani @deepikapadukone what a charming song !!
Suna #GST bhi fail ho gaya!,i have heard that #GST has failed as well!
#taalthokke Ek #DNA reservation band karne par bhi hona chaiye . Isse ek baar me hi vote bank par #surgicalstrike ho jayegi . @sudhirchaudhary,#taalthokke there should be one on #DNA reservation as well . this would lead to a #surgicalstrike on the votes. @sudhirchaudhary
"@wistyloony apan ko toh chahiye din mein cutting chai, shaam ko daaru raat ko ladki aur neend aajaye... Ayye Ganpat Ganpat","@wistyloony during te day i need tea, wisky in the evening, a girl at the night, and a good night's sleep "
Ye baat agar sabko samajh aati toh kya baat hoti! :-),if everyone understood this then it would have been really good.
Kyun chalti hai Pawan? Kyu peeta hai Gagan? Kyu haklata hai Chhagan? Na tum jaano na hum.,why does the wind move? why does we water drink? why does the idiot stutter? neither you know nor we
Ek aur jadoo dekhna hai?,do you want to see another magic trick?
Inko to zarurat bhi hai nehelane wale baba ki pic.twitter.com/CqGMzeFLed,they need a pic of the baba who gives bath pic.twitter.com/CqGMzeFLed
"Arnab should still be thankful to Barkha, otherwise, agar ek call Hafeez bhai ko kar deti to pata nahi kya kya ho jata.","arnab should still be thankful to barkha, otherwise, if she would have called hafeez then we don't have any idea what would have happened."
"Jai Ho #SalmanVerdict

Jaya Ho #JayaVerdict 

Satyanash Ho","all hail #SakmanVerdict all hail #jaya verdictbe annihilated
"
Salman Khan se live baat .... mujhy lg raha hai ky khuwab hi hai mera itnay bary star ......or hmsy baat wah.....,live chat with salman khan.... i feel as if it's a dream that superstar of his stature is talking with us live
isse achha aur kya ho sakta hai? Batao :D,what can be better than this?
kya game hote the us timw ke .  .  jhakkas,how good were the games at that time . . awesome
ye kal ki baat h news channels me bhi aaya h .  ab kejriwal kya iski nomination cancel karega ?  ?,it was only yesterday that it came out on the news .  now would kejrival cancel his nomination ?  ?
Ab legal hogaya hai #Sec377,it's legal now#Sec377
@TheInsaneSane custom rom pe kab ka aa gaya.,@TheInsaneSane when did you start working on custom rom 
finally a gaga featuring luncher paaji .  .  . maza aa gaya .  .  .  !  !  !,finally it has launched featuring paaji.. its awesoome!!
Baat ki gehraiyon ko samjhohttps://twitter.com/nazirology/status/862795386708262912 …,"understand the meaning behind what is being said : http://twitter.com/nazirology/states/862795386708262912…
"
Ek naya itihas banayega Modi ji ka karyekaal.,"modi's will write history in his tenure.
"
I lv #saLmAN <3<3,I love #saLmAN <3<3
@Shrimaan aap @Shrimati se mangiye ,)
"aap sab mile huwe ho ji, ladkiyon ke saath.",you are all already in girls favour
"@ashkaikini arre, kya hai ye attaycahar kyun? Friday ka plan rakh, waise bhi tu phone nahi uthaati mera","@Bashayakini why do you do this to me? make a plan for friday, anyways you don't pick up my phone
"
@TejYadav 14 @yadavtejashwi aur meri shadi #Modi ji nahi hone de rahe hai #Trump ji help us,@TejYadav 14 @yadavtejashwi and #Modi is not letting me get married #Trump sir help us
lol  .  .  .  .  har movie me hero ka ek sapna hota hai canada jake taxi chalane ka :d,lol  .  .  .  .  in every movie it's the dream of the hero to go to canada to drive taxi :d
Oye Stark khaandaan ke chiraag @iamGunjanGrunge ye dekhpic.twitter.com/mpL3Ui6aHW,hey you member of stark family @iamGunjanGrunge look at this pic.twitter.com/mpL3Ui6aHW
guddu ke sarcastic comments .  .,guddu's sarcastic comments . .
Nakli iPhone with Android bhi chalega.. 4-5000 kahttps://twitter.com/aajtak/status/625626939919732737 …,duplicat iphone with android would work as well .. in the rrange of 4-5000 https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/625626939919732737 …
"""Mummy jab 500 ke note pe Gandhi ji ki photo hai to hum Lakshmi ji ki poojan kyu karte hai""

#Overheard","""mom, when we have a photo of gandhiji on a 500 note, why do we worship lakshmi?""

#Overheard"
agar india jeet jaati toh ek aur happy new year ban jaati  .  .  .  . farah khan ko part 2 nahi banana padta,"had India won, it would have become another happy new year. . . . farah khan wouldn't have had to make the second part"
"garbage bin ,  it's a good question :)","garbage bin ,  sawaal to sahi diya hai :)"
Ye sarasar jhooth hai milord! :'(,"this is a sheer lie, milord! : '(
"
Please aise nahi karna.,please don't do it.
"Ye to tum ashleel tweet "" foto aur video bhejte ho na "" wahi digital #molestation hai 0",the vulgar photos and videos that you share are the ones we call digital #molestation
@Integrated_me sleep ka koi shape nahi hota sahab,@Integrated_me sir sleep has no shape.
@Kaminapun Kisi ke puraane tweets khojnapic.twitter.com/KTJtdfbVfO,@Kaminapun search for someone's old tweets pic.twitter.com/KTJtdfbVfO
the two lukes (austen and dickens) playing at nelson bay diggers club this friday 2/11 .  go check 'em out if you live in the area .  .,the two lukes (austen and dickens) playing at nelson bay diggers club this friday 2/11 .  go check them out if you live in the area .  .
@GappistanRadio haan ee jhol lag raha hai,@GappistanRadio yes it looks like a fraud
@coolfunnytshirt Tum aage badho. Hum tumhare saath hain.,"@coolfunnytshirt you go ahead, we are with you"
@Arunapk57 LOL! Hota hai,@Arunapk57 lol!  it happens
AAPtards shud jump in dilli ki yamunahttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/667623202730864640 …,aaptards should jump in delhi's yamuna https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/667623202730864640 …
@Being_Humor ye ho chuka hai https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/655257350530404352 …,@Being_Humor this has already happened https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/655257350530404352 …
@the_jok_er hamare hi 100-150 crore le gaya hai,@the_jok_er  even i have investe 100-150 crore on it
are you ready to shop the new collection from h&amp,m tomorrow ?  ?  the grey concept from h&amp
mechanical me to fir bhi chance h or engineers ka kya hoga  .  .  .  .  .  .,"mechanical engineers still have a chance, what will happen to other engineers.  .  .  .  .  ."
kya baat h..manwa khush krr diye..,"very nice, made me happy"
"Kripaya, itni raat ko Sunny Leone ke baare mein tweet kar bhavnao ko thes na pahuchaye.",please don't hurt people's feelings by teeting about sunny leone this late in the night.
dekh liya bhaijaan.. mast h,just saw it brother.. it is nice
Seedhe bol na #MakeInIndia chahta hai ....,just speak out alout that you want #MakeInIndia ....
#notebandi effect hai bhir BHI #vikash to sabka sath sabka Vikash me hai #GujratstandwithModi,it is because of#notebandi  #vikash is in everyone's unity and everyone's developement #GujratstandwithModi
"@UltraMild1 
Khushi ke aansoo","@UltraMild1 
tears of joy"
RT @BeingSalmanKhan : Te Marjaava Te Marjaava Te Marjaavaaaaannaa https://t.co/rqOdxKZ8Wt,rt @BeingSalmanKhan : will die for you will die for you will die for you https://t.co/rqOdxKZ8Wt
SASURAL SIMAR KA MAHASHIVRATRI SHOOT PROMO http://t.co/O3aQb1bsmq,sasural simar ka's mahashivratri shoot promo http://t.co/O3aQb1bsmq
Ted pair.. aatma hai ye,legs are turned around.. it's a ghost
"Hey Jai Jai Shiv Shankar Kaanta Lage Na Kankar , Ke Fast Tere Naam Ka Rakha ! :) Happy Maha Shivratri , Folks ! #Mahadev #Parvati #MahaShivratri","hail hail shiv shankar neither thorns hurt nor pebbles, that i kept a fast on you name ! :) happy maha shivratri , folks ! #Mahadev #Parvati #MahaShivratri"
Pehle roze to rkh le fir eid manana...,first keep the fast then celebrate eid...
@DefucktiveHumor Sonia Maa ne bohot saare naag paal rakhe hai #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan,@DefucktiveHumor mother sonia has kept many snakes #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan
@10hottkaran from where did the world come in this brother?,@10hottkaran from where did the whole world come ?
Me kara intjarr tera.. ..,i am waiting for you
ak-49 koyi nahi chalata hai yaar,no one uses ak-49 man
Ek baap ki aulaad hai to kar https://twitter.com/nainkataryy/status/733303858563145728 …,if you are a child of a single father then do it https://twitter.com/nainkataryy/status/733303858563145728 …
"@friendlii_ghost nyn zindabad tha, nyn zindabad hai aur nyn zindabad rahega #kbye","@friendlii_ghost long lived nyn, nyn is living long nyn will live long#kbye"
"Mujhe mere roomie @retardedwriter ke bag se ye mila hai. Ya Allah, maa da laadla bigad gaya?pic.twitter.com/2DEYD8PU2B",i found this on my roomie @retardedwriter 's bag . oh my god someone has grown up?pic.twitter.com/2DEYD8PU2B
@DSatanHunter aa gayee @Atheist_Krishna ka shikaar karne.. mein to nikla yaha sepic.twitter.com/PRtsyLPzrw,@DSatanHunter finally you have come to attack @Atheist_Krishna ..i got this pic from here .twitter.com/PRtsyLPzrw
phir aapne jo mobile number daala tha us mobile number pe ek sms me password aayega .  .  .,"then the password will be sent to you by sms on the mobile number you registered. . .
"
@iamGunjanGrunge 10 rs kam hai zeb me abhi check kiya @dna,"@iamGunjanGrunge i just checked right now, i am short of  10 rs @dna"
@sureshnakhua ye bike hue hai par janta nahi bikegi. #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra,"@sureshnakhua they have been bought, but the public wont be bought. #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra"
Sallu bhai so. gyee kyaaa,Sallu brother are you asleep
#DeMonetisation aur #GST mein mera koi haath nahi hai..jo bhi beda gark hua uske liye yeh jaitly jawaabdaar hai main nahi,i don't have a hand in #DeMonetisation and #GST ..whatever was done was done by jaitly i didn't do anything
Encounter to virodhiyo ka ho rha hae .. Warna rape 200 % bad nhi jate ek vishesh parjati ke criminals khuleaam rape aor Hatyaye kar rhe hae ..,"encounter is happening against the opponents .. otherwise rapes would not have increased by 200%. criminals of a particular species are openly raping and killing ..
"
"happy new year guddu ,  stay the same forever , no matter how many years pass by","happy new year guddu ,   ,  chahe jitne bhi saal gujarjaye"
"@Narendramodi_G  bohot huee gundaraaj ki pukaar..
Ab ki baar Bihar me Modi Sarkaar #JunglerajEpisode2"," ""@Narendramodi_g enough of gang wars ..
this time modi's government in bihar #JungleRajepisod2 """
Shivji Ki Savari #vadodara #MahaShivratri #Shivratri P.C : Jaimin Soni http://t.co/JyG8mlJEcL,shiva's ride #vadodara #MahaShivratri #Shivratri p.c. : jaimin soni http://t.co/JyG8mlJEcL
"@OfficeOfRG ji @INCIndia ko #IndianArmy se ""problem #GST se problem #Modi se problem Tum kya chhate ho.",@OfficeOfRG sir @INCIndia has a problem with #IndianArmy has a problem with#GST has a problem with #Modi se problem what is it that you want.
@ruchikokcha behen thoda news channel kam dekha karo,@ruchikokcha sister please do not watch too much of these news channels
@NSaina Match jeet jaati to cup ke saath hota photo..,"if @NSaina would have won the  match , we would have the cup.."
@dashhtweets 1-2 saal pehle maine hi bataya tha,@dashhtweets i told them 1-2 years back
is baar bhi 50 se neeche gaya kya?,did it go below 50 this time?
Sabne Usha ki cap kyu pahen rakhi hai? #IPL,why is everyone wearing usha cap? #IPL
Abhi Santa bhi na clause k sath aata hain #MTV #GST #MerryChristmas,now  days santa also comes with a clause #MTV #GST #MerryChristmas
@MamataOfficial @sardanarohit Woh Jo #NoteBandi k agst #AamaranAnshan karne waale the uska kya hua ... Mare nahin ab tak,@MamataOfficial @sardanarohit he was going to do #AamaranAnshan against #NoteBandi what happened about that... he didnt die yet?
kya bhai sb kaam nipta kr aya tha ap se bt krne 3:30 ko or ab ap 4 pm.. chlo koi nhi ab 4 bjne ka wait krte h :-),what is it man i finished all my work early to talk to you at 3:30 and now you are telling me to wait till 4 pm... but no problems i'll wait timm 4 :-)
"@White_Crimes milna bhi padta hai gift lene ko, chalaak aurat","@White_crimes you also have to meet me to get gifts, clever woman"
have to say i think jason &amp, taylor may have been robbed by the married duo tonight of blake &amp
"@someUSER you should attend @someUSER champs this fri/sat/sun: top 12 roller derby teams in the world ,  we play indianapolis 8pm friday !  !  ! ","@someUSER you should attend @someUSER champs this friday/saturday/sunday: top 12 roller derby teams in the world ,  we play indianapolis 8pm friday !  !  ! "
#JNU mein log isliye #Protest kar rahe hai kyonki unki fat rahi ki kahi isi se na uda de agli baar agar #antinational activity ki to," people in #Janu are doing #protest because they are scared that they would be shot next time they do #Antinational activity
"
jisne room ka jugaad kiya hota hai. Sirf ek bar ke liye mehanga padta hai na room.,the one who has already manged to get a room. a room is only costly for nce
"bas aur kya chahiye tumhe?
BTW tumhari aankhein hai ya mehkhana? "," what else do you want?by the way, do you have eyes or frown? """
@stupidusmaximus Dhanyawaad bhau !!,@stupidusmaximus thank you brother !!
@HaramiParindey bhole ka prasad,@HaramiParindey bhole's offering
@ThePreCambrian Main aur @mahobili aap se cheen ke apka khana khaein gein . Guaranteed !,@ThePreCambrian me and @mahobili will steal foor from you and eat it. guaranteed !
@BUnlimted aadat hai bhai  @iamsrk,@BUnlimted it has become a habit brother  @iamsrk
"@AdvancedMaushi Bhai, kaun peeta hai taste ke liye.. hum to peete hai taaki uski yaad na aaye","@AdvancedMaushi brother, who drinks for the taste.. we drink so that we don't remember her"
@BUnlimted ye kal ho chuka haihttps://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/663753338828300288 …,@BUnlimted this happened yesterday haihttps://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/663753338828300288 …
"""Bhai ye bowlers ki wajah se haarne par press conference me kya bolna hota hai"" - Smith to Dhoni #indvsaus","""brother what do we say in the press conference when you lose the match because of the bowlers"" - smith to dhoni #indvsaus"
@Gurmeetramrahim eys donet kidni donets krna #MSGmissionHumanity y manvta ka ak ahm hisa h,"@Gurmeetramrahim donate eyes, donate kidneys#MSGmissionHumanity it is an important part of humanity"
@Muskurahateinn @ThatFilmyGirl BC ! I got none . Khud hi cheen ke laayi logo se . 😑,@Muskurahateinn @ThatFilmyGirl BC ! i got none . she snatched it herself from people . 😑
@Ojasism Bhai pls raat me aisi galtiya mat kiya karo @SunnyLeone,@Ojasism brother please donot do such mistakes in the night @SunnyLeone
Priyanka ko nahi isko @swetlanakorni,not to priyanka to @swetlanakorni
SRK aur Kejriwal ke fans mein kya farak hai?,what is the difference between srk fans and kejriwal fans?
hiii mai ok huiii :),hiii i am ok :)
@ek_samosa_dena 9 Nov ke baad thande pad jaenge sab. #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan,@ek_samosa_dena after 9th nov everyone will calm down. #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan
guddu lucky charm ban gya indian team ke liye ,) 
Sunil Narine khud hi apne baal kaatata hoga.,sunil narine probably cuts his hair himself.
" "" dhabaaaaad ""  miss hua hai last frame me sound effect .  .  . "," "" dhabaaaaad "" the last frame missed a sound effect .  .  . "
@DefucktiveHumor sach bahar aa hi jaata hai #YoNitishSoTantrik,@DefucktiveHumor the truth always comes out #YoNitishSoTantrik
"Gujarat me #ManmohanSingh bhashan denge "" ye sunte hi public goonga kaise bolta h sunne chali gayi 0",#ManmohanSingh will give a speech in gujarat after hearing this people went running to see a deaf speaking
talkin with procter&amp,gamble sound like its the move to make .  . but well see come thursday for this career fair
mere saath bhi hua hai.,it happened with me as wel
@Gurmeetramrahim MSG alwys doing to humanity nd krta rhega #MSGmissionHumanity,@Gurmeetramrahim MSG is always doing good for humanity and it will keep doing it #MSGmissionHumanity
@i_am_nat_war abhi abhi ek ne ACP Pradyuman bola :(,@i_am_nat_war just now someone called me acp pradyuman :(
Bhai ek kilo hapus arm ka kitna?https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/631099512845660160 …,brother how much for 1 kg hapus mango?https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/631099512845660160 …
shivani didi dekho aap model banati thi aise mere wo b ek din pehle .  .  .  .  .  . hahaha,shivani sister see you used to make models for me that to a day before . . . hahaha
@mohituraina mahashivratri ki dheeron subhkamnayein sir :) stay blessed n happiest :),@mohituraina happy mahashivratri sir :) stay blessed and happy :)
@Atheist_Krishna LOL! Har ghar se Rajanikant nikale toh gadbad hoti,@Atheist_Krishna LOL! if a rajanikant popped out from every house then it would have been a problem
@retardedwriter @akhil_bits ek dam. sar par kaffan baandh kar nikle hai,"@retardedwriter @akhil_bits has left with a shroud tied on his head
"
@CuteMaliniYadav @EkNayiLeague @therealkapildev #EkNayiLeague is a new league jo dil se nahi dimag se kheli jaati hai,"@CuteMaliniYadav @EkNayiLeague @therealkapildev #EkNayiLeague is a new league which is played by mind, not by heart"
"guddu ki to lottery lag gayi  .  .  .  yaha to 2 ,  2 rupaye contri kar k 20 rupaye ka cricket match khelte the","guddu got a jackpot. . . here, we use to collect 2, 2 rupees and play a cricket match of 20 rupees.
"
@tearejoice kya hall hai,@tearejoice what's up
yeah gulam but sbki matureness nikal jati hai tym ane par  .  .,"ywa, a slave, but everyone's matureness is gone when the time comes"
"hey salman bhai , agar aap actor na hote to kya hote?","hey salman brother, if you were not an actor the what would you be?"
Big brother party de or ye chota bhai party me nhi aae aase ho skta hai kya kbhi #Salu bhai(bajrangi bhaijan),big brother gives a paty and little brother doesn't come how can that ever happen#Salu brother(bajrangi bhaijan)
"
Mera ab tak torture chalu hai.",my torture is still on
kachua sir bhi kaafi hi fi aadmi lagte hain .  aisi tagdi definition !,kachua sir also looks like a hi fi man . it's a definition which suits!
"indian ki batting 'rang de basanti' movie ki tarah thi ,  sabne accha perform kiya par end me sab mar gaye .  .  .  . ","india's batting was like a 'rang de basanti' movie, everyone performed well but everyone died in the end. . . .
"
@Hbddorku bhai ab yeh purana ho gaya. Har saal thodi na,@Hbddorku bhai it's old now. it won't happen every year
Internet bhi nahi chal raha . Kia manhoos Sunday hai .,Internetis not working s well. this sunday is cursed.
@Gott_Partikel aaj hi suicide karwayega :( @klpe @BeingJonSnow,@Gott_Partikel you'll force me to commit suicide today itself :( @klpe @BeingJonSnow
feel it tomorrow.. don't do it today..,kal feel kar lena.. aaj mat karo..
Bhai bhai bhai bhai.......love u bhai.....,bro bro bro bro.......love you bro.....
"@TweetErrant Bajirao ne Mastani se pyaar kiya hai, aiyaashi nahi."," @TwitterRant bajirao loves mastani, it is not casual.
"
@Miss_Ankiita bola tha tujhe chup reh @SRKswarrior1,@Miss_Ankiita told you to shut up @SRKswarrior1
Lagata hai @OfficeOfRG ke is rally ke bad kal #GabbarSinghTax me aur sudhar lane #GSTCouncilMeet fir bulayee jayegi.,"it seems that after this rally of @OfficeSorg, #GustConsilmeet will be called again tomorrow to further improve #GabbersingTax.
"
"garbage bin ye too kahar he dha diya  .  .  .  .  this was my actual childhood dream ,  aur final exam tekken 3 ka ya king of fighters ka  !  ! ","garbage this is awesome .  .  .  .  this was my actual childhood dream ,  and final exam on tekken 3 or on king of fighters !  ! "
Mai toh bhool gaya Babli ka ghar.. Priya ka ghar pyara lage.,i forgot babli's house.. priya's house looks good.
@myselfakher tu bhi le,@myselfakher you have it as well
Bhai kidr ry ly tu.,brother where do you live
@munjays sir you belong to uttar pradesh ? ekhi hai lekin MSG sidhe heart ko touch kr gyi ..... so plz #MustWatchMSG,@munjays sir you belong to uttar pradesh ? is's only one msg but it's heart touching one..... so please #MustWatchMSG
@roy_debsie samaj me nahi aaya,@roy_debsie i didn't understand it
"#4BestWordsEver

""Achcha Chalo Kar Lo""","#4BestWordsEver

""ok let's do it"""
"FYI phir se bata raha hu , Pakistan ne WC me India ke samne match to kya toss bhi nahi jita hai . #IndvsPak #CantBeatIndia #CWC15","fyi i am telling it again, pakistan in world cup hasn't even won a toss against india leave match aside. #IndvsPak #CantBeatIndia #CWC15"
@Shakti_Shetty zomato ki salary me shampoo ka kharcha nikal jataa hai ?,@Shakti_Shetty can you buy a shampoo with the salary that zomato gives ?
mai pehle sochta thaa sadi me video game mang luga :v :d,i had planned it earlier that i'll ask for a video game in my marriage :v :d
"Me: Aaj kuch toofani karte hai

Mom: Ye le, paani ki bottles bhar ke fridge me rakh de.","me: let's do something stormy today

mom: go fill the water bottles and keep them in the fridge."
@AagyakariBacchi mandal aabhari _/\_,@AagyakariBacchi very greatful _/\_
Milk piyoo ... gn .. sd,drink milk ... goodnight  .. sweet dreams
@YearOfRat bhai hogaya birthday!,@YearOfRat brother birthday is over!
@ShrrinG pas time pe paise bhej do,@ShrrinG just send the money on time
Shikhar Dhawan ne bhi 50 run jod diye. Ab bhi nahi jeete to kal tak wapas aa jana.,even shikhar dhawan scored a 50 . if you guys still don't win then come back by tomorrow.
EID MUBARAK BHAIJAN. .,happy eid bhaijan. .
"Uska kuch nahi kar sakte, gareeb phone par video record karega bhai. Thodi taqleef toh hogi :'(","there's nothing you can doo, if you recrd video in a cheap phone, then it would obviously be difficult :'("
"Expectations: Eat Sleep Rave Repeat
Reality: 
-Bhai kuch khaya nahi subah se
-Bhai neend aa rahi hai aaj to bohot
-Yaar koi party me chal lo","expectations: eat sleep rave repeat
reality: 
- bro i haven't eaten anthing since the morning
- bro i am feeling seepy today
- bro please someone come to the party"
@Prakashjaaju kya hua bhai. khareede hue followers ki validity khatam ho gayi kya ?," @Prakashjaju what happened brother. has the validity of followers you purchased ended?
"
naye bat ka throw kholne ka apna maaza tha bhai .  .  .,to play a throw of a new bat is fun in itself
sania toh ab pakistan ki ho gai hai .  .  .  . jo log nahi maante toh sonia gandhi ko kya khaenge ?  ?  ?  ?  sonia italy ki hai ya bharat ki ?,sania has now become a property of pakistan. . . . those who do not believe then what would the call sonia gandhi ? ? ? ? sonia is italy's or india's?
@Atheist_Krishna police bhej di hai maine @tweeting_palpic.twitter.com/eOSun2fLD8,@Atheist_Krishna i've called the police @tweeting_palpic.twitter.com/eOSun2fLD8
contra was added lately in this .  .  .  .  phir samajh aya tha ki laundo ko ullu bana rahe hain .  .,contra was added lately in this .  .  .  .  then i got to know that they made us fools .
@dan1shmemon yaar itni negative energy laate kahan se ho?,@dan1shmemon where do you get all this negatie energy from?
Shaadi ka khana anjaan logo ko bhi aapse convo karne pe majboor kar deta hai. Address de dena. Card pahunch jaega :) https://twitter.com/SuchAMisfit/status/684311269491388416 …,wedding meal forces even unknown people to have a conversation with you.just send me the address. card will be delivered :) https://twitter.com/SuchAMisfit/status/684311269491388416 …
End of an era !!! Apna Captain Mahi jaa rha hai :(,end of an era !!! our captain mahi is leaving :(
"Starsports hindi commentary : "" garam khoon ke virat kohli se galti ho gayi ab unhe lamba jana padega "" hilarious #IndvsPak","starsports hindi commentary : ""hot headed virat kohli has made a mistake now he'll have to play longer"" hilarious #IndvsPak"
@ChhotaPacket_ Didi @Footloose_Free Govt ko ban karne ki taaqat rakhti hai,@ChhotaPacket_ Didi @Footloose_Free has the power to ban the government
@ppritam009 nahi bhai. Kam hi aata hu main to mentions jyada dekhta nahi.,"@ppritam009 no brother. i usually don't get online much, i just come here to see the mentions."
bhai tu delhi aaja.. badiya sasti daaru.. itna badiya khaana... aur yaha har baat pe zingaat bhi nahi chalata koi,bro just come to delhi.. cheap beer.. good food ... and no one takes out swords for little things here
@AdvancedMaushi saale shaadi pe bulaya nahi,@AdvancedMaushi you didn't call me for your wedding
"So devoid of feelings, tumhe toh ek masseuse bhi mehsoos nahin kar sakta.","so devoid of feelings, even a masseuse cannot feel you."
"bhabhi ko dekna tha yaar, jaana pada.","saw your sister-in-law, had to go."
Bowlers .. 3-4 aur wide bowls dedena zaraa .. :P #IndvsSA,bowlers .. just bowl 3-4 more wide balls .. :P #IndvsSA
"Mohit Sharma ! Attaboy ! Exemplary ! The best 19th over in this IPL , at par wd Praveen Kumar's 19th ! #KXIPvDD","mohit sharma ! attaboy ! exemplary ! the best 19th over in this ipl , at par with praveen kumar's 19th ! #KXIPvDD"
@Rachitpandey16 kal hi kiya tha,@Rachitpandey16 did it yesterday itself
I very well know the guy ! And I know the B2R room number as well .,i know this guy very well ! and I know the b2r room number as well .
3 saal purani DP.. kya yehi hai achche din hamare ?,3 years old dp .. are these your good days?
"Tumko nahi samajh aayega, tum bas rote raho.","you won't understand, you just keep crying."
@ROFLaaLa biwi ka surprise mila? Jo tune crash kar diya :-P,@ROFLaaLa got the surprise from your wife? the one that you crashed:-P
@DefucktiveHumor aaj @JhaSanjay ne naashte me bhaang ki omelette khaya,@DefucktiveHumor today @JhaSanjay had cannabis omelette for breakfast today.
pratiyogita darpan ki spelling mistake hai :),competetion is mirror spelled incorrctly.
arre gaana nahi suna kya? Dhakad?,did you listen to the song? dhakad?
@Bihar_ke_lala aapse kam epic hai bhai sahab,@Bihar_ke_lala wasn't as epic as you sir
Itni tension raina ko 8 nov k baad nhi hui hogi jitni aaj ho rhi hogi 0 #dhoni #HappyBirthdayCaptainCool #ThankYouDhoni,raina wouldn't have had been this tense after 8 nov as compared to today #dhoni #HappyBirthdayCaptainCool #ThankYouDhoni
"Puraa Vishwa aaj Bharat ki or dekh rahaa h,","the whole world is looking towards india today,
"
@MeetUunngLee donon ka apn kuch nahi hona bhai,@MeetUunngLee we both will get nothing out of it.
@Ra_Bies @Alllahdin Ye aisa hi hai kabhi bhi aayega,@Ra_bs @allauddin he will come at anytime
Gaadi khud ki hai? Kitna deti hai?,is the vehicle yours?how much is the milage?
laufed  .  .  .  first u hav to correct ur english baad me sochna use  !  !  !,laughed.  .  .  first you have to correct you english then think about it!  !  !
bhai log radio market kisi ko yaad hai kya .  .  . bana banaya model har baar 500 rs main .  .,"guys, do you remember the radio market? . . ready made models in 500 rs.. .
"
@Trendulkar tu aagaya?,@Trendulkar will you come?
"Mom: ""Aaj khana jaldi kha lo.. Sandhya important mission par hai.. Dont disturb me then""

#FML #SandhyaRathi #DiyaAurBati"," ""mother:"" ""eat food early today. sandhya is on an important mission. don't disturb me then""

#FML #SandhyaRathi #DiyaAurBati"
mai mario me 1up wali badaq pakadta tha .  .  always tried to jump over the flag post at the end of the stage .  .,i always used to catch the 1-up in mario.  .  always tried to jump over the flag post at the end of the stage .  .
@riskiest_poison morning toh kal raat se good chal rahi hai . #JeetKaNasha,@riskiest_poison morning is going good since last night . #JeetKaNasha
@aajtak @abpnewstv @ZeeNews #Rahulgandhi spotted in puri 0 Dhabli bjate hue during rath yatra 0,@aajtak @abpnewstv @ZeeNews #Rahulgandhi spotted in puri playing drums during rath yatra 0
"Galat baat hai ye Ankita, ek Bhai Bhai ke rishte love aisa apavitra twist na do :'(","it is wrong, ankita, do not give such an unholy twist to a brother-brother relationship: '(
"
"@toastingtoaster M blocked by barkha, dadlani, rajdeep, kejriwal, kumar vishwas, ankit lal, ankit jain,  kavita krishnan ","@toastingtoaster i am blocked by barkha, dadlani, rajdeep, kejriwal, kumar vishwas, ankit lal, ankit jain,  kavita krishnan "
#CabinetReshuffle to ho gaya Ye #GST reshuffle ho sakta hai kya...18 ko 8 Kar do... Biryani bahut Mehengi ho gayee hai Bhai...,#CabinetReshuffle if cabinet can get reshuffld then can #GST be reshuffled as well... reduce it to 8 from 18... biryani has become costly...
Modi ji ... #MannKiBaat chhoriye aur Gun ki baat kijiye pakistano se,modi ji ... leave #MannKiBaat aside and talk about gun with pakistanis.
DIS IS GUJJU SPARTA :PRAJAKTA,this is gujju sparta : prajakta
Party with salman & bebo kon miss krega,who would want to miss party with salman & bebo
"sakti rakho, daro nahi","keep faith, don't be afraid"
@iamGunjanGrunge sab mile hue hai ji iski CBI jaanch honi chahiye @witchybitchygal @DefucktiveHumor @Atheist_Krishna @balliawalebaba,"@iamGunjanGrunge they are all conspiring together, there should be a CBI investigation on them @witchybitchygal @DefucktiveHumor @Atheist_Krishna @balliawalebaba"
@GaurangBhardwa1 ye to fekne me bhopaliyo se bhi aage nikal gaye @Atheist_Krishna @miss_cherished @kp_85,@GaurangBhardwa1 he even surpassed bhopalis in talking big @Atheist_Krishna @miss_cherished @kp_85
@MeetUunngLee Tera video dekha aaj @akshaykanitkar ne dikhaya,@MeetUunngLee saw your video today @akshaykanitkar showed it to me
@LoKarloUnfollow Hahaa.. Itna vella bhi nahi hu bhai mein,@LoKarloUnfollow hahaa.. i am not that jobless brother
"Janta main khushi ki lahar, sab wapas apne apne kamro main pahunche to celebratehttps://twitter.com/abpnewstv/status/628545892665004033 …","there is a wave of joy in the public,everyone is back to their rooms to celebrate https://twitter.com/abpnewstv/status/628545892665004033 …"
@Retributions sone ki murgi ko kaata nahi jaata,@Retributions you don't cut the hen which lays golden eggs
tushar gupta mukund sharma yaman sharma piyush yadav aisa lg raha he bandaro k pinjade se nikal kar aa raha hu .  .  ,)
this may be a little forward .  .  .  .  - secret-country: but can you imagine the sex miranda lambert &amp, blake .  .  .  http/URL
@twinitisha aap mahan hai _/\_,@twinitisha you are great _/\_
"Ye moh moh ke dhaage, ye dho dho ke bhaage.

#sorry","these are all strings of attachment, they are washed away  #sorry"
powerful cartooning n concept .  .  . too good,powerful cartooning and concept .  .  . too good
"I'll change the winning speech to ""Itni shiddat se maine tumhe paane ki koshish ki hai"" :P  #watchNwinOnStarMovieshttps://twitter.com/StarMoviesIndia/status/704147778436538369 …","I'll change the winning speech to ""i have tried so hard to get you"" :P  #watchNwinOnStarMovieshttps://twitter.com/StarMoviesIndia/status/704147778436538369 …"
: LAST NIGHT MAHASHIVRATRI RUDRABHISHEK ..... Bhasm sringaar ...,last night mahashivratri rudrabhishek ..... burn sringaar ...
Mashup jo chhu jaye aapke dil ko ..,mashup which touches your heart..
#GST every state GST No. Nahi hona chahiye one no hi hona chahiye all india jis se vyapari ek hi jagha return file kar sake.,there shouldn't be a #GST number for each state. there should be one number for all india through which all businessmen can return the file.
@lady_gabbar contest ka jitwaoge aap?,@lady_gabbar will you be able to win us the contest?
@Rajsan2012 thanks Raj bhai,@Rajsan2012 thanks raj bro
"Hindustan ki aisi takdeer likh maula , Ki log Sanskrit me allah aur Urdu me ram likhe ...."," write such a fate for india god, that people write allah in sanskrit and ram in urdu ....
"
le bhai ye use cc karde..pic.twitter.com/jygNepgn2Z,cc this brother ..pic.twitter.com/jygNepgn2Z
"Haaye, shayar bhi ho tum <3","woow, you are a poet as well <3"
@byomkesbakshi Bhai ye to seedhe chakka maara hai,@byomkesbakshi bro this guy hit a six straight up
@s_manjari phir to 100% se badh jaega,@s_manjari then it would increase by 100%
"Pichad gaya Bihar.. Nitish ne kiye the vaade hazaar

 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar"," bihar fell behind .. nitish had done a thousand promises 
 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar"
@Moskvaa haa kon aata?,@Moskvaa yeah who would have come?
"yai adami hai ya paja ,  ,  ,  ,  , kabi arvind ko chor kheta hai kabi modi ko ,  ,  ,  , media walo anna ko garam duud pelao","is this guy a man or a pajama ,  ,  ,  ,  ,sometimes calls arvind a thief, sometimes modi ,  ,  ,  , media give anna a glass of hot milk"
@DefucktiveHumor ghar aa gaya,@DefucktiveHumor came back home
"Thanks bhai, 14th ko milte hai","thanks bro, let's meet on 14th"
"Mahi "" uth ...... uth ....... uth ja bhai "" 8 run aur banane hain #MSD #INDvSL","Mahi "" wake up......wake up....... wake up brother "" just 8 more runs to go #MSD #INDvSL"
@Leopard212 @semubhatt crisp aalu bhajia&vada paav Mumbai 100 Delhi 10,@Leopard212 @semubhatt crispy aalu bhajia in delhi & vada paav in mumbai
ha ha ha .. no no ... u have to stay together :P :P,ha ha ha .. no no ... you have to stay together :P :P
@SamitLive ha ha shukriya bhai : ),@SamitLive ha ha thank you brother : )
@TestTubeBaba pata hai bhai isiliye bola,"@TestTubeBaba i know bro, that's why i said it"
"""Mera bhai roz 5 ghante cartoons dekhta hai..""pic.twitter.com/gTGepfbIT2","""i watch cartoons for 5 hours daily.""pic.twitter.com/gTGepfbIT2"
"@MehekMahtani no more fret 
Dekhna zaroori hai: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI … #LagGayiVaat 
Shine","@MehekMahtani no more fret 
it is compulsory to watch : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI … #LagGayiVaat 
shine"
@imcomplicated__ tera dhiyaan kidhar hai ke tera hero idhar hai?,"@imcomplicated__ where are you looking,your hero is here?"
hehehehe .   .  . john cena ka sticker .   . really bachpan yaad aa gaya,hehehehe .   .  . john cena's sticker .   . really reminded me of my childhood
@Footloose_Free DIDI.. 2 minute me itni gaaliya pad gayee.. ab to mein mahine bhar na nahau,@Footloose_Free DIDI.. got abused soo much in 2 minutes.. now i won't bath for a whole month
Jaan maang lo bas shave karne nahi bolna.,"ask for my life, i'll give it to you just don't ask me to shave."
@kavitabika Australia se kya laaye mere liye @witchybitchygal,@kavitabika what did you get for me from australia @witchybitchygal
Aaja sham hone aayi .mousam ne li angdai.,"come here, it's amost evening. the weather took a break"
@ThatDelhiDamsel Sahi jawaab Mishri,@ThatDelhiDamsel right answer mishri
@bhaisaabkoram ab tak shooting start nahi hu yaar,@bhaisaabkoram i am not a shooting star yet
@Lambar_Daar aur to aur money pe interest bhi milta hai ,)
haha. 2-4 din me sab khatam ho jayega aisi hope hai,haha. everything would be over in 2-4 days that's hat i hope for.
BHAI. BHAI... nice pic,bro. bro... nice pic
arre bohot hi umda bhaisahab .  .  haste haste pakaude lag gaye .  .  .  :d,woow great brother.. got roasted while laughing
"#FeministMovies
Dulhaniya Dilwale ko Le Jayenge.","""#FeministMovies
the brede would take the hearted"""
bhai ye gag khud se inspire ho kar banaya lagta h .  .  :p,broit looks as if this gag was inspired from himself . . :p
@LEDtvn yaha 4 din me 70% paani aa gaya,@LEDtvn it rained almost 70% of the total in just 4 days
"""Token ghar lejaa sakte hai ??"" #DelhiMetroIn5Words","""can we take the token back home??"" #DelhiMetroIn5Words"
Hiii sallu bhai i m ur biggggest fan..........kya aap bataege ki aapne acting konse acting skool me sikhi.....plsss bhai tell me,Hiii sallu bro i am your biggest fan..........will you tell me from which acting school did you learn acting .....please bro tell me
modi yug samapti ke oorr .  .  .,the end of modi era . . .
"@VinithaShetty haan, aaj thodi pi hai. Hamesha bahot zyada peeta hu. :-/",@VinithaShetty yeah had a little drink today. i usually take a lot more. :-/
kal jab pakistan haar gaya to mujse raha nai gaaya maine 4 ghante tak lagataar dance kiya .  .  . apne jigri friend ki marriage me .,"when pakistan lost yesterday, i could not keep it within me, i danced continuously for 4 hours. . . in the marriage of my best friend"
"Kyunke ye janta ke liye sabse bada #lollipop ""hai #jawan ko marne ""do #kisan ko marne ""do bas ek anti muslim mudda like #TripleTalaq utha do #TripleTalaq @aajtak","because it is the biggest #lollipop for the public ,let the #jawan die, let the #kisan die, just pick up one anti muslim topic like #TripleTalaq #TripleTalaq @aajtak"
"Roz holi hai aisa lagta hoga, nahi?",it should feel like it is holi everyday right?
"haan, doubt hogaya tha tabse zyada karne laga, socha khud hi bata dega. Magar sakti dekho launde ki ","yeah, when he was in doubt then he started doing it more, thought he would do it himself. but see the willpower of the guy"
. @BDUTT aapko ko ye jaankar bahot dukh hogahttps://twitter.com/BurjKhalifa/status/824188822774751233 …,. @BDUTT you'll be sad after seeing this https://twitter.com/BurjKhalifa/status/824188822774751233 …
one nation one law bhi ho jana chahye #GST to ho geya abh.,there should be one law for one nation #GST is done now.
Ab bimaari mein kya achha aur kya bura?,what is good or bad with a disease?
@WoCharLog I seriously oppose this. Aaj jo hua uske liye #JNU hona jaruri hai! Maza aa gaya,"@WoCharLog i seriously oppose this. because of what happened today,  #JNU should definately happen! it was really fun!!"
@Sychlops Tum bhale aadmi ho,@Sychlops you are a nice guy
"Question- "" #MahaShivratri kyu manate hai ? "" Alia- "" Simple , kyo ki aaj ki raat Shivji ka birth hua tha . ""","question- ""why do we celebrate #MahaShivratri ? "" alia- "" simple , because lord Shiva was born today. """
@YearOfRat LOL! Isko tumne bina degree wala vaidya bana diya!,@YearOfRat LOL! you made hime a doctor without degree!
Doctor to 4-4 ghante wait karwate hai.. Unhe koi kuch kyu nahi boltahttps://twitter.com/abpnewstv/status/837528974255280130 …,doctor makes us wait for 4 hours. why does noone complains about it. https://twitter.com/abpnewstv/status/837528974255280130 …
"Hum to bolte hain #GST aur #Demonetisation ko roll-back karo. Bharat mein zyada-se-zyada anpadh log ""hain koi ko ATM-Paytm samajh mein nahi aa raha: Lalu Prasad Yadav",we already keep saying to roll-back #GST and #Demonetisation. there are more illiterate people in india noone is able to understand: lalu prasad yadav
@Atheist_Krishna hahaha.. Bhai tu ashleelta ki baate karta hai to bohot cute lagta hai,@Atheist_Krishna hahaha.. brother when you talk about vulgarity you look cute
Jai Gangaajal ' Official Trailer - Priyanka Chopra - Prakash Jha https://t.co/xpaQGmQEo9,praise ganga's water ' official trailer - priyanka chopra - prakash jha https://t.co/xpaQGmQEo9
@Atheist_Krishna hahaa.. mein asli sanjay jha samaj ke gaali dene wala tha,@Atheist_Krishna hahaa.. by assuming him to be sanjay jha i was about to abuse 
Pyar mein _____ jhukana padta hai.,in love _____ need to bow
pahle ki sarkar ne isse kyun nahi kiya .  .,why didnt previous government did this
"Who is Sumit of ' Sumit Sambhal Lega' ? http://t.co/3LFEYpwDZJ 0 bomb pak army pe fenk dena "" Modi : "" bas itnisi baat ?? "" http://t.co/x5tq9qWTjd","who is sumit of ' sumit sambhal lega' ? http://t.co/3LFEYpwDZJ 0 throw bomb on pak army "" modi : "" such small request ?? "" http://t.co/x5tq9qWTjd"
"Ye agar ornage kapda lapet le toh ye sabse bade guru hai, inka gyan aparampar hai, bhediye ki khaal mein sant insaan hai.","if he wraps orange cloth then he becomes the biggest guru, his knowledge is very great, he is saint in wolf's skin"
Maine Pujara ko wahaan tali bajane ke liye nahi rakha Captain Dhoni to Jadeja .. Can never forget #Dhoni,i haven't placed pujara there for clapping captain dhoni to jadeja ..  can never forget #Dhoni
@Mmmmunazzah har ghadi badal rahi hai roop zindagi.. Chaanv hai kabhi hai kabhi hai dhoop zindagi..,@Mmmmunazzah every clock is changing it's identity of life .. there is shade sometimes and sunlight sometimes in life
Bahot pahonchi huwi hasti hai Ram Rahim jihttp://m.timesofindia.com/city/chandigarh/in-self-styled-godmans-area-a-separate-monetary-system/articleshow/60245647.cms …,ram rahim ji is very big celebrity http://m.timesofindia.com/city/chandigarh/in-self-styled-godmans-area-a-separate-monetary-system/articleshow/60245647.cms …
@RealHistory #RahulGandhi ki tarah #DeMonetisation ki line mein lagta bach jaata ..,@RealHistory like #RahulGandhi if i had stood in #DeMonetisation line then i would have escaped from it
abb isme du ki kya galti  .  paper badiya nahi karegi toh number kaise aa jaege  .  .  rechecking ke too form bhare hai apne  .  .  abb du wait krti rhegi kya,what is the mistake of du when she cannot score good marks in her exam you have filled rechecking form now will du keep waiting for her
@MaryamRizviSays Ireland jaisi team thi saamne.. ye bhi to dekho madam,@MaryamRizviSays just look at the opponent madam it was ireland 
"#4WordsBreakUp
Tumhari Salary Kam Hai","#4WordsBreakUp
your salary is less"
@melotus ab Swag toh hai. Kuch nahi kar sakta uska. Magar genuine hai,@melotus i have swag i cant do anything about it but it is genuine
Ase baat karoge aap comments pr??,will you talk like this in comments? 
@ek_samosa_dena soch raha hu nahau ya nahi,@ek_samosa_dena thinking whether i should bathe or not. 
"guddu jis din homework karega na ,  us din basta bhool jayega par notebook nahi . ",the day guddu will do homework he might forget bag but not notebook
Pluto par pahonch sakte ho magar Saki Naka nahi.,you can reach pluto but not sakinaka
"#GuessTheSong
Aaja pyaare paas hamaare","#GuessTheSong
come close to me love"
"@someUSER really ?  really ?  terry's guilt was well proven ,  tv footage was available .  suarez was punished of the strength of evra's word .  c'mon ! ","@someUSER really ?  really ?  terry's guilt was well proven ,  tv footage was available .  suarez was punished of the strength of evra's word .  come on ! "
https://twitter.com/DilliDurAst/status/847728750926024704 … Dono side se batting kar rahe ho huffpost main aajkal,https://twitter.com/DilliDurAst/status/847728750926024704 … you are batting from both sides on huffpost
"Yeh Fitoor mera, laya mujhko hai....https://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/696063589858213888 …",this madness of mine has brought me ....https://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/696063589858213888 …
yaar guddu ko dekete hi akshay kumar ki yaad ati hai sabhi ka scene kaat deta hai  .  .  . ,)
Muslim hokar muslim ko hi neech bolte ho. .. Allah se daro. ...  ye saari dolat sab kuch yaho reh jayega. .. Khuda se daro,you call muslims cheap when you yourself are a muslim ..  be afraid of god . . all this wealth will stay here . . be afraid of god
hamare yahan kushwaha sir maths teacher they .  .  .  lottery khelte rehte the english teacher dixit sir ke sath .  .  .  .,our maths teacher was khushwaha sir and he used play lottery with english teacher dixit sir
"faisal bhai  .  .  best part is  "" guddu ke mom ke expressions at last :d :p","faisal brohter . . best part is ""guddu's mom's expressions at last"""
@indiantweeter to karta kyu nahi hai,@indiantweeter why dont you do it
"just filled out my home depot application .  .  .  . matteson ,  alsip ,  orland park ,  homewood ,  &amp; cal city now i need to make moves that way tomorrow . ","just filled out my home depot application matteson, alsip, orland park, homewood, and california city now i need to make moves that way tomorrow . "
are tera basic point h puri delhi ko free wi - fi dena .  .  .  . ok,your basic point is give free wifi to delhi ok
"Mulayam: ""Har party main sirf ek Gunda reh sakta hai. Aur is party ka Gunda main hun"" 

All SP members:""Fir hamara kya hoga netaji?""","Mulayam: ""there can be only one gangster in each party and i am the gangster of this party"" 

All SP members:""then what will happen to us?"""
@shivam__23 surname dekhar :-) aur ye @neha_aks madam mujhe kabhi respond nahi kartin,@shivam__23 watching surname and this @neha_aks madam never responds
RT @nitibnsl : #DSSFoundationDay swarg Dharti par dekhna hai to ek visit Dera Sacha Sauda at Sirsa ki ho Jaaye https://t.co/e8Tj1HRPjt,rt @nitibnsl : #DSSFoundationDay if you want to see heaven visit dera dacha dauda at dirsa https://t.co/e8Tj1HRPjt
Khatam ho gaya Saifu. Log ghar chale gaye hain aur hamne bhi channel change kar diya hai. Chup ho ja. Tujhe kareena ki kasam pls chup hoja,saifu got finished people went home and we also changed channel. be silent. you have kareena's promise pls be silent
I Wonder who it is ? :-P do i get beer and pizza as well m2k ?,i wonder who it is ? do i get beer and pizza as well m2k ?
DESH KA YUVA HAI. Rishta wohi soch nayi,youth of this country. relation old but thought new
"@AapGhumaKeLeyLo Sir, sach bola tha, sachhi, no majaak","@AapGhumaKeLeyLo sir, i spoke truth, seriously, no joke"
@MohMaaya beech me mil lo kahi,@MohMaaya meet me in middle
@Insane_chorri abhi aarti jalayi,@Insane_chorri just lit the lamp
@Miss_Ankiita bohot zyada hai.  50K me Mumbai me ek se ek models mil jaegi,@Miss_Ankiita it is too much. we can find better models in mumbai for fifty thousand
@akshaykanitkar aaj ki party teri taraf se @DMishraa,@akshaykanitkar today is your party @DMishraa
"...and Biryani is like, is sab me meri galti kya hai ","...and biryani is like, what is my fault in here "
@Fabled_Me mere 25k me gaaliya hi hai  @the_jok_er,@Fabled_Me i only have abusive words in my 25k  @the_jok_er
school mai aur koi teacher nahi hai kya ?,is there no teacher in school?
@someUSER grow it out .  i wanna see a part in the middle and bali beads either side before the 31st of january .,@someUSER grow it out .  i want to see a part in the middle and bali beads either side before the 31st of january .
"Adele: Hello
Vodafone user: Awaz nahi aa rahi, jor se bol.
Adele: Jai mata di","adele: hello
vodafone user: cannot hear you, speak loudly.
adele: praise the goddess"
@UrbanZameendar Govinda ka humshakal bhi,@UrbanZameendar govinda's doppleganger too.
Bhai kese hum ap se bat karsakeing.. Salman Khan,"brother, how can i talk to you.. salman khan"
"desh ko prayogshala samajh rakhe Hain aaplog... Pahle implementation Karo phir ""dekhenge Bura huaa to role back.. Bina Kisi planning ke policy implementation to aaplogo se sikhe.. #GST #ArunJaitley","you people assume the country to be a laboratory, implement first and if thing's go bad, role back. one should learn to implement a policy without any planning from you guys. #GST #ArunJaitley"
RT @mylifeasadesi1 : Robbinsville Akshardham in New Jersey https://t.co/R9x81R8uUd,rt @mylifeasadesi1 : robbinsville akshardham in new jersey https://t.co/R9x81R8uUd
@CertifiedKamina agar maine jita diya to Anushka meri ??  @Being_Humor,"@CertifiedKamina if i take you to victory, is anushka mine?  @Being_Humor"
@akshaykanitkar Sunil bhai yaha Pootna mana hai @Ra_Bies @HathwalaThakur,@akshaykanitkar sunil brother urination is banned here @Ra_Bies @HathwalaThakur
"Behen, instagram hai facebook nahi, ek ke peeche ek lagataar satra sau saath photos mat pelo, doosron ke photos kaisan dekhe?","sister, this is instagram not facebook, dont post seventeen hundred photos one behind another, how should we see others photos?"
"Is saal #IPL mai #MI ke sath #Jio users ki "" #KKR ke sath #SRK fans ki dua hai and #RCB ke sath banks ki baddua hai 0 #RCBvKKR","this year in #IPL #MI has #Jio users, #KKR has #SRK fans as well wishers and #RCB has banks as their bad wishers #RCBvKKR"
"Gandhi ji is like ""bro...""pic.twitter.com/HXYwywCkGt","gandhi ji is like ""brother..."" pic.twitter.com/HXYwywCkGt"
@Dishasatra badnaam naa karo!,@Dishasatra don't defame us!
Waseem Akram #Pak batsman ki ijjat utarte hue .... Bahut Shandaar .. #IndvsPak,waseem akram insulting #Pak batsman.... wonderful .. #IndvsPak
@BolshoyBooze haan haan uske ghar kyu nahi? Plumbing ka bhi kaam kar lunga,@BolshoyBooze yes yes why not at his house? will do plumbing work
@ROFL_India yaar phir dekho yaar ek baar,@ROFL_India friend look again friend once
Mushfiqur's celebration soon to become the gif version of don't count your chickens before they hatch #IndvsBan,mushfiqur's celebration soon to become the gif version of don't count your chickens before they hatch #IndvsBan
Rahul ji ko male-female sab chalegahttps://twitter.com/OfficeOfRG/status/668743297121124352 …,male-female anything would work for rahul https://twitter.com/OfficeOfRG/status/668743297121124352 …
"@indiantweeter Heera hai sada ke liye, iPhone nahin.",@indiantweeter it is diamond for lifetime not iphone
Bhai main apna ghar saaf rakhun ya padosi kahttps://twitter.com/AMDhananjay/status/654874018042900480 …,brother should i keep my house clean or my neighbour's https://twitter.com/AMDhananjay/status/654874018042900480 …
bhai Salman Khan meri class h 4 bje apne 3 kaha tha phle :(,brother salman khan i have class at 4 you said it 3 before
@Humor_Donor Kaahe over-analyse kar rahein hai janab? Oscar layak joke thode hi hai. :P,@Humor_Donor why are you over-analysing sir? it is not worth an oscar
Aaj kal @Pakistan har taraf se gheera howa hai #Trump sahib ne bhi kasar nahi chori 0,nowadays @Pakistan is surrounded from every side even #Trump did not leave it alone
@iamkits @NavbharatTimes @neeerajbadhwar aapko kuch karwan hai :),@iamkits @NavbharatTimes @neeerajbadhwar do you guys want something to be done
This just happens .. Kisi ka qusor nahi hota .. Lekin bas aesa hojata hay ..,"things like this just happens, it's no one's fault."
"tumne hi to bola it's a trap beware, aur kaun ladki ka naam Ambergris hota hai? ","you are the one who alerted me that its a trap, and by the way which girl has name ambergris?"
@BeingMSD jungle ka matlab hi hai no rules. To inhe koi dar kaha #JunglerajEpisode2,@BeingMSD meaning of jungle is no rules. so they have no fear #JunglerajEpisode2
bhai tu to topper hoga itna likh dala  .   .  padhne me itna alas aa raha hai aur tune toh chep hi diya  .   .  hats off,brother you must be a topper because you wrote so much . . i feel laziness while studying and you wrote everything as it is . . hats off
@Fussy_Ca ab bete ke liye Loneranger se baat chalao  @scotchism,@Fussy_Ca we shall talk to loneranger for my son @scotchism
"talking about act's &amp;&amp; sat's ,  deciding where i want to go to college ,  applying to colleges and everything about college stresses me out . ","talking about act's and sat's ,  deciding where i want to go to college ,  applying to colleges and everything about college stresses me out . "
"Lol, ye hota hai!",what is the meaning of lol?
south africa ki to kah kar leli .  .  .  .  .  :p,we defeated south africa very badly
@ImRaina Mahashivratri to you and team India . Unke kripa ish #WorldCup me hamari team par banaye rahe . Har har Mahadev .,@ImRaina mahashivratri to you and team India . because of his blessings we were in #WorldCup 
"So jao sab, kal Monday hai.","go to sleep, tomorrow's monday"
"""Yeh ishq nahi asaan, aji AIDS ka khatra hai"" 

Happy Birthday Gulzaar Saab","""this love is not easy, there is danger of aids""
Happy Birthday Gulzaar Saab"
@realmadriden @Sadafawanvk @Cristiano @realmadrid kisko pyar karti ho CR7 or Virat kohli decide karlo,"@realmadriden @Sadafawanvk @Cristiano @realmadrid decide it, who do you love cr7 or virat kohli?"
@dwivedi_ji12  beimaani he ki hai inhoney..Modi jee inhe inka imaan yaad dilayenge  #NitishKaNakliVikas,"@dwivedi_ji12  they cheated on us, modiji will remind them their ethics #NitishKaNakliVikas"
Inki bail kab khatam hogi #MakeInIndia,when will the term in jail end #MakeInIndia
@humistry @shutUpPlis ohhh samee hii hoiee na phirr to life,@humistry @shutUpPlis ohhh then life is same
"Piyo aur peene do.
Pre budday bash.pic.twitter.com/3YFshiYr4B","drink and let us drink
Pre birthday bash.pic.twitter.com/3YFshiYr4B"
"""Inko ek aur over dekar thoda pressure se halka kar diya jaaye"" ~ Kapil Dev doing commentary from outside Sulabh Suachalay","""lets give him another over to release a pressure a little bit"" ~ kapil dev doing commentary from outside community toilets"
hame bachpan se y batane ki kossis ki jati hai .  .  .  what is scam ?,we are taught since childhood that what is scam?
"Lalu : "" paida hi rajnigandha leke hua tha "" #RajnigandhaSixWordsStory Lalko se galti hou jati hai https://t.co/iHo1zAnpB6","lalu : ""he was born with rajnigandha with him"" #RajnigandhaSixWordsStory mistakes can happen from boys https://t.co/iHo1zAnpB6"
@iamsrktheking wo ideal world ki baatein ha .. kitabi baatein u knw :p real,"these things apply in idea world. bookish knowledge, you know that I mean. "
@Ra_Bies bahot hi zyada pyar :-***,@Ra_Bies too much of love
"Aunty mujhe itna achha pehle kisine nahi bola, brilliant jaise words kabhi nahi use kiya ILU ;'( *aansoo*","aunty no one said such good things about me before, no one ever used words like brilliant for me, i love you."
"@KShisodia tumne gaali di 
Aaj se flirting khatam.","@KShisodia you abused
from today onwards no flirting"
"@someUSER oh yes ,  never a dull moment !  !  looking forward to just rafa &amp; bronte tomorrow !  nice to be busy though !  hope boys ok ! ","@someUSER oh yes ,  never a dull moment !  !  looking forward to just rafa and bronte tomorrow !  nice to be busy though !  hope boys ok ! "
@PoojaMissra iss tarah Bihar ko de rahe hai nitish dhoka. #YoNitishSoTantrik,@PoojaMissra nitish is betraying bihar like this. #YoNitishSoTantrik
"haha. App developer hai, bahut paisa banaya hai logo ka data bech bech ke","haha, you are an app developer then you must have earnt a lot of money by selling data. "
Salman khan am exited 4 ur n3w film #bajrangi #bhaijan .....................,salman khan i am exited for your new film #bajrangi #bhaijan .....................
Kuch liya tumne apne haal ke liye?,did you take something for you health?
2 no walo ko issue tha. Ab wo b #GST ke future benifits. #GST fail huva ye bolne wale abhi to mr.india ho gaye hai.,second grade people have issue. now they are also taking #GST benefits. people saying that #GST failed have become mr. india now
Are Bhai ko kuch bat bolo. q ke hum ya pe bohat sare fan ho . is k liye aanahi raha hai. waise b bo kitne k sath bat karenge.,dont say anything to brother  because we are too many fans that's why he is not coming however he cannot talk to many
"pata nahi yaar, main khud nahi chahta ladkiya gaadi mein. Muh bandh nahi hota ek minute, driver nahi toh phone par lag jayenge","dont know friend, i myself dont want girls in my car. their mouth is not shut for even one minute, if no driver present then they use phone"
Na Bhai .. Wo t : 0 baje se Hi shuru hojata hai,no brother it starts from 12 midnight
@ek_samosa_dena phatega na jab woh mobile tab chilayega nahi,@ek_samosa_dena even if the mobile mobile bursts she wont shout
"modi ji tumhe aise ghatiya baatein suit nhi karti .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . 5 saal kejriwal ,  , ",modiji these type of cheap talks doesnt suit you...5 years kejriwal
RT @Shaheer_S : @NimmyRajan new life Mein thoda busy Hun .. Aur Phone khas pasand Nahi hai Mujhe .,rt @Shaheer_S : @NimmyRajan busy in new life .. and i dont like phone .
@scratchysingh It's like pados ka launda agar aap ko thoktaa hain aur aap ke papa taali bajaatey sabhaash beta bahut badiya ! Doh aur maar .,@scratchysingh It's like if neighbour's boy beats you and your father claps and appreciates it! hit him two more times
@DefucktiveHumor aur aaj ulti bhi karegi,@DefucktiveHumor and he will vomit today also
Lol. Ye Mamta di ke accent mein kyu gaa raha hai?,"lol, why is she singing in mamta di's accent?"
@HathwalaThakur hahaa.. Ek Pootna hi kafi hai.. Do ko handle nahi kar payega Twitter,@HathwalaThakur hahaa.. one pootna is only enough.. twitter wont be able to handle 2
@iamsonisinghal jijaji ka khayaal karlo,@iamsonisinghal take care of brother-in-law
@TigerNaMo ye to roz hota hai mere saath @BihariTweeter,@TigerNaMo this happens everyday with me @BihariTweeter
"Yeh accha hai, logo ke paas tweets nahi hote to koi bhi poll bana dete hai.","it's great, when people dont have content for tweet they start making polls."
@LittleJudgyEyes yar sahi toh hai vodafone . Kya issue hai ?,@LittleJudgyEyes friend vodafone is the best . what is the problem ?
@runjhunmehrotra Oh tumhara naam bhi Mary hai ?,@runjhunmehrotra Oh even your name is mary ?
@coolfunnytshirt inhi salon ne hindi patrakarita ko sadak-chhap ka status de diya hai,@coolfunnytshirt these salons have made hindi journalism's status very low
@navyharicky sahi pakde hai bhai,@navyharicky brother held it correctly
@scratchysingh aise kareg mere saath? Woh bhi monday ko? :'(,@scratchysingh will you do this to me? even on monday? 
"Bas kharaabi ladkon men hi hai bhai, kuch bhi kar le woh.","the defect is in boys brother, they can do anything"
@Trollacharya @parth_utters aage badho Bhai,@Trollacharya @parth_utters move forward brother
"@PoojaMissra jaati se bahut hai isko pyaar, isko hai Samikaran ki angaar #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar","@PoojaMissra he loves his caste very much, he has fire of equation #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar"
3rd mariah song of the night and nooooooooo .  that was so bad .  #xfactor,3rd mariah song of the night and no.  that was so bad .  #xfactor
"if your thoughts are turning towards christmas &amp; you live in bucks ,  i'm giving a talk on dickens &amp; christmas at amersham library ,  15 dec . ","if your thoughts are turning towards christmas and you live in bucks ,  i am giving a talk on dickens and christmas at amersham library ,  15 december"
@SinghaniaGautam bhai matlab baap ki saari daulat twitter pe tweet promote kar kar ke uda doge ??,@SinghaniaGautam brother will you spend all of your father's wealth in promoting tweets on twitter?
"Rahane's mom: ""Mere bacche ko Kohli ke saath batting na bheja kariya. Gaali galoch seekh raha hai""","Rahane's mom: ""dont send my son with virat kohli for batting. he is learning abusive language"""
Bhai ye Windsor Palace nahi hai.. Thapar saab ka bangla hai.. Sanju car dene gaya tha.. Gaali sun ke aayahttps://twitter.com/ShangriLaBLR/status/640453796276006912 …,brother this is not windsor palace.. this is thapar sir's bungalow.. sanju went to give car.. he came getting abused https://twitter.com/ShangriLaBLR/status/640453796276006912 …
maa-baap kya kya nahi karte apne bacche ko pass karane ke liye !  :p,what mother and father dont do to pass their children
"@InduSarabhai phone to fir bhi aa jayega, bhai ki movie saal me ek hi bar aati hai @ppritam009 @Asli_Ravi @BBThisEid @Bhaijaanz","@InduSarabhai phone might come again, brother's movie comes only once a year @ppritam009 @Asli_Ravi @BBThisEid @Bhaijaanz"
"haha, biwi se bachakar bhai, tu hospital se tweet karein ye mujhe bilkul gawara nahi","haha, stay away from your wife, you tweet from hospital this not accepted by me"
i love ur page !  !  !  !  !  such a great page,i love your page !  !  !  !  !  such a great page
@MehrTarar kash ye songs apki awaz me sun pata,@MehrTarar i wish i could listen these songs in your voice
we used to do this .  . miss chalk khatam ho gye the dusre section se laaye .  .  . or wo 2 mnts class se bahar awesome .   . still remember .   .  .,we used to do this .  . miss chalk got finished i am bringing it from other section.  .  . and those two minutes outside the class was awesome .   . still remember .   .  .
Behen ki audi aur bhai ka laura. It's a rich family.,"sister's audi and brother's laura, it is a rich family"
@SSForeva baapre ...! Evry1 loves n adores #SwaSan so much just ❤them ! Ab rangeela KO bhi batana padega ! Har kaam ham khud hi Karen ! 😂😂😂,@SSForeva oh my god everyone loves and adores #SwaSan so much just about them ! now we shall tell this to rangeela! should we all the work?
@someUSER oh it was a good cry .  she's a blake fan &amp, was so happy taylor didn't win for the 3rd year in a row .
"@retardedwriter bhai @ROFLaaLa Plz Delhi aao toh Aflatoon le aana iske liye, main nahi laa paya :-(","@retardedwriter brother @ROFLaaLa please if you come to delhi then bring aflatoon for him, i couldnt bring"
Mutton pelte hai purani Dilli jaakar.,lets eat mutton in old delhi
@anjanaomkashyap Afridi is bowler mam not batsman .. Kabhi kabhi accha batting kar leta h,@anjanaomkashyap afridi is bowler maam not batsman .. he bats nice sometimes
garbage bin ultimate boss .  .  .   !  !  !  hme to 1re milta tha #seema toffee khane ke liye (vo bi mummy se) .  .  .  patang/magazine to door ki bt :d,garbage bin ultimate boss .  .  .   !  !  !  we used to get rupee 1 #seema for eating toffee (and that too from mother) .  .  .  
I think wearing weird clothes and chappals mean we are innocent train us with your own risk :D,I think wearing weird clothes and chappals mean we are INNOCENT . Train us with your own risk :D
"garbage bin  .  .  .  .  is chhoti se umar mein ,  guddu ko ye 'rog' lag gaya  ? ","garbage bin  .  .  .  .  in such a small age, guddu got infevted by this disease  ? "
Ye ho chuka hai. LOL,this has already happened. lol
sarah g .  day last sunday !  !  monday !  !  tuesday !  !  wednesday !  !  & xempre ngaung thursday !  !  kip it up poptsers !  ! &lt,3
Paisa jo abhi logon ke pocket kaat ke liya tha wahi diya hai Kay ?? #SurgicalStrike on people ' s money .,did you gave me the money which i stole from everyone ?? #SurgicalStrike on people ' s money .
national holiday declare hona chaiye tha aaj :3,national holiday should have been declared today
@friendlii_ghost are bhai mujhe rt karna tha. Shu yaar,@friendlii_ghost brother i wanted to do rt
@jdshastri26 2-3 lines yaad kar lin hain wahi bolta rehta hai :),@jdshastri26 he has learnt 2-3 lines and keeps repeating them
"@bizzarebhide @hathwalathakur thoda 5 Star khao, phir doodh piyo, thoda khao, thoda piyo. Dono ka taste enhance ho jayega. try it :)","@bizzarebhide @hathwalathakur eat some 5 star, then drink milk, eat some, drink some. it will enhance taste of both. try it"
"@yadavakhilesh slams #MannKiBaat .. says Enough Mann ki Baat "" Do Kaam ki Baat . @narendramodi","@yadavakhilesh slams #MannKiBaat .. says enough mann ki baat "" talk of two things. @narendramodi"
@LaliJogan37 Teacher Didi aap marwaogi hume.. Waise ye @raggedtag kaun hai ?,@LaliJogan37 Teacher sister you will get us killed.. by the way who is @raggedtag?
world cup ka tadka garbage bin ke sath(y),tempering of world cup with garbage bin
"@Ra_Bies @Alllahdin aaj toh saari seemayein paar hogayi, gaali de di aapna toh","@Ra_Bies @Alllahdin today you crossed all the limits, you abused"
bhai party ke liye abke sab frnd tayar hain...!!,brother your friends are ready for the party...!!
Salman bhai sirf sohrat kamane se kuch hoga. thoda bahut khuda ko bhi yaad kiya karo.mahe ramjaan bada hi pak aur touba karne vala mahina.plz ibadat bhaijaan,"salman brother nothing will happen from earning only fame, you should remember god sometimes, ramjaan is very sacred month please brother"
warna iski pant utaar kar dhulai!,otherwise his pants will be removed and he will be beaten
guddu k papa ko bolo ki dono ko pakad k rkhe warna guddu ki mummy market se kuch mangwaaegi guddu se aur fir indian team k batsmen out .  .  .  . :-p,tell guddu's father to hold both of them otherwise guddu's mother will send guddu to bring something from market and then indian team's batsmen will get out . . . . 
@RowdyTalks dikhaya kaha.. Haath se chupa li ,)
ji internet ke paise na kate kuch aisa karwa do :-) :-) :-),do something such that my money is not deducted for using it
@perky_girl16 bahot thappad maarna hota hai tumhe sabko. Zyada teacher mat bano,@perky_girl16 you want to slap everyone. dont try to become a teacher
Pehle #Demonitization phir #GST Aur ab Ye.... Seedha seedha gun leke loot lo na....,first #Demonitization then #GST and now this.... straightforward show me a gun and rob me....
@boxofficeindia dilip kumar in Naya Daur,@boxofficeindia dilip kumar in new period
@khabarbaazi Ishant ko mohit ne replace kar diya #IndiavsSA,@khabarbaazi ishant replaced mohit #IndiavsSA
"@PrachiSharma707 Din bhi gazab chuna hai aapne, Friday ka. Logon ke dimaag mein toh madhushala hi hoti hai Shukrawar ko. Chalo theek kiya :D","@PrachiSharma707 you have chosen a wonderful day, friday. people have madhushala on their minds on saturday. you did right"
@journojuno sabhyata kahan hai? Kahan hai sabhyata?,@journojuno where is decency? where is decency?
mujhe? Mujhe bhi pyar karo,me? love me also
Aur catch chhodo Uthappa ka  #KKRvDD,leave uthappa's catch again #KKRvDD
@bhaiyyajispeaks DM me dhamkiya milne lagi hai,@bhaiyyajispeaks started to receive warnings in dm
Won the toss ! Elected to bat first . Come on INDIA jita do ..,won the toss ! elected to bat first . come on india win ..
"@TrollKejri kya aapke bachche aapke nahi hai jo aap unki jhooti kasme khate hai ?

#AskTrollu","@TrollKejri kya aapke bachche aapke nahi hai jo aap unki jhooti kasme khate hai ?

#AskTrollu"
jail to ab bhi hogi.. wo bhi Asaram Bapu wali jail me  @IncomeTaxIndia @BUnlimted,still you will go to jail.. and that too jail of asaram bapu  @IncomeTaxIndia @BUnlimted
"Agar aapko potty aaye aur aas-pas toilet na ho to kya karoge?
Socho, kyonki jahan soch wahin shauchalay.","if you feel an urge to poop and there is no toilet nearby what will you do?
think, because where there is thought there is toilet."
Nishiddho Premer Golpo ( 2015 ) Bangla Movie Trailer Video Download http://t.co/gQ5w9H5ok2,nishiddho premer golpo ( 2015 ) bangla movie trailer video download http://t.co/gQ5w9H5ok2
"Andheri raaton mein twitter ki timeline par, har ek ki jaan khaane ko ek philosopher nikalta hai, jisse log @Stupidosaur kehte hai.","in dark nights on timeline of twitter, for eating every person's soul a philosopher comes out, who people call @Stupidosaur"
@PuneetBoreHoRoi aur bhai pishachini ke best frnd.. Kaisa hai kaha hai,@PuneetBoreHoRoi and brother vampire's best friend.. how are you where are you
contra mein sabse diffucult .  . exploding pull paar karna .  . :p,most difficult in contra is crossing exploding bridge
Uttarakhand HC dismisses plea of 9 rebel Congress MLAs challenging their disqualification https://t.co/kOhvxsareg https://t.co/AIUmIM4ihS,uttarakhand hc dismisses plea of 9 rebel congress mla's challenging their disqualification https://t.co/kOhvxsareg https://t.co/AIUmIM4ihS
hum bhikari hai.. pehle hum aayenge,we are beggars.. we will come first
@HathwalaThakur zabardast wala diya hai @Joydas,@HathwalaThakur you have given incredible @Joydas
LALA NE MATCH JITA DIYA . \o/ oh sorry .. Pepsi ka ad tha . #IndvsPak #CWC15,lala made us win the match oh sorry it was advertisement of pepsi. #IndvsPak #CWC15
aaj pata chala mera bhi koi fan hai.,today i got to know that i have no fans
@spikeyarjun Kya fayeda is #Jio ki # 4 G speed ka jo apne hi internet se apni hi website open karke apna hi #JioPhone book na karwa paaye,@spikeyarjun what is the use of #Jio #4G speed when one cannot open jio website with jio's internet and is not able to book #JioPhone 
@HudDangee khane ka dabba bheja hai,@HudDangee have sent a lunchbox
"Agar ""#GST ""#Demonetisation aur itne virodh ke bad bhi #BJPWinsGujarat to ye bahut badi bat hai Gujrat ki janata ka bahut bahut dhanyavad","even after ""#GST ""#Demonetisation and so many protests if #BJPWinsGujarat it will be a great deal, thankful to people of gujarat"
@dhaval241086 kaha mujhe daal diya itne bade logo ke beech.. Beizzati karwaega kya,@dhaval241086 why did you leave me alone between these big people.. do you want me to get insulted
even though i already know how it ends .  .  .  im watching the cmas tomorrow just to see blake drunk,even though i already know how it ends .  .  .  i am watching the cmas tomorrow just to see blake drunk
@HaramiParindey @BhayanakPuppy isko aise hi yaad rehti hai chize,@HaramiParindey @BhayanakPuppy he remembers things like this only
ladddooooooooooo .  .  .  .  .  .  bahut yaad aate hai jo school time mei milte the .  .  .  .  usi k liye to aaj school jaate the :p,sweets .  .  .  .  .  .  miss a lot when we used to get them in our school time .  .  .  .  we went to school for that only
Paise ke liye @KapilSibal aur Vote Bank ke liye @INCIndia Apne maa ka bhi #TripleTalaq accept kar lenge,for money @KapilSibal and for vote bank @INCIndia will accept it's mother's #TripleTalaq 
Man up and move on !,man up and move on !
@Amit_smiling Debonair bhai debonair! Kya yaad dilaye hai,@Amit_smiling debonair brother debonair! what he made us remember
"wah guddu beta ,  achhe se credit le liya .  .  ;-)","wow guddu son ,  you took credit in a very good way . . ."
@iNationalSRKian abki baar Film(FAN ) > KKR for me . Trailer to accha hai bas film logo ko pasand aur samajh aaye . Indian audience 😒,@iNationalSRKian this time(fan ) > kkr for me . trailer is good but i hope people like it and understand it . indian audience 
maa sab samajti hein c> mom always know what you want .  .  !  !  !  ^_^,mother understands everything mom always know what you want .  . ! ! !
@friendlii_ghost hamare yahan to aata hai. par 3gb data 10 din me khatam ho jata hai,@friendlii_ghost it comes at our place. but 3gb data finishes in 10 days
Last me humesha kyu gadbada deta hai ... Hayeee ...,why do we ruin everything in the end ... alas...
@TheTypoOfGod par hai maal ,)
@coolfunnytshirt Train station se nikal rahi hai bas.. DDLJ ho gaya ye to,@coolfunnytshirt train station is just leaving.. ddlj happened
@sambha_bhilane Thank you bhai. Thanedar tum aur sahib hum :P,@sambha_bhilane thank you brother. you junior sergeant and me sir
RT @Abhinna_Sri : @MANJULtoons @bhak_sala lagta hai aapne aaj ka twitter trend nhi dekha . #RahulOnLeave n #WhereIsRahul show how caring ppl,rt @Abhinna_Sri : @MANJULtoons @bhak_sala it looks like you didnt see today's twitter trend . #RahulOnLeave and #WhereIsRahul show how caring people
"@BSNLCorporate @rsprasad Thanks for reply . Pankaj Chauhan , M - 8527745669/01242570669 , Address - C2 Taradeep Apartments , Gurgaon Sec -52","@BSNLCorporate @rsprasad thanks for reply . pankaj chauhan , m - 8527745669/01242570669 , address - c2 taradeep apartments , gurgaon sector -52"
Accha hua aaj Nepali Babu aagye warna #RightToPrivacy ke karan 2-3 tweet karna bhool jate Narendra Modi,it's good that nepali brother came otherwise because of #RightToPrivacy narendra modi would have forgotten to post 2-3 tweet
"#Jio ka sim tho sab ke pass hai "" lekin uska number khud ko bhi pata nai hota 0","everybody has a sim of #Jio "" but even we dont know our number"
"@Lala_The_Don 29,000 gaon ko dega ye bijli ? 10 saal kya kiya isne #FailedCMNitish","@Lala_The_Don will he give electricity to 29,000 villages ? what did he do for 10 years #FailedCMNitish"
the most funny line is .  .  .  kahan khoya hai mungerilaal .  .  .  aankhe khol aur problem solve kar,the most funny line is .  .  .  where is mungerilaal lost .  .  .  open your eyes and solve the problem
Passenger fares remain same #RailBudget2015 . @sureshpprabhu urges Clean Rail Neat India,passenger fares remain same #RailBudget2015 . @sureshpprabhu urges clean rail neat india
"@White_Crimes tumhari pitaai karni hai,kab karoo? ","@White_Crimes i want to beat you, when should i?"
Professional Portfolio shoot only in Rs . 3000/- Location : - Jaipur Rajasthan HD 30 Photos Shoot Date 05 May ... https://t.co/TBahxL36kD,professional portfolio shoot only in rs . 3000 location : - jaipur rajasthan hd 30 photos shoot date 05 may ... https://t.co/TBahxL36kD
Mera dil kal school jany ko bilkul ni kr ra bs dil kr ra ha k janamaz pr beth kr #pak k liye dua krn .. allah g plz help .. #pakvsind #indvspak,"my heart does not want to go to school, my heartfull wish is to sit on a mat and pray for #pak.. god please help .. #pakvsind #indvspak"
sir apne rastriya rojgar youjana me sms job ke liye news paper me add dya he kya???,sir did you give advrtisement for sms job in country's employment scheme?
"@oothikicha lol. yahi sunne aaya tha, ab log out kar sakta hu ",@oothikicha lol. came to listen this only now i can log out
"#290 [\\m/] : I used to buy \ "" pussy\ "" cat toffee regularly before I came to IIT . Now I despise the stuff ... #DC ++ changed my life .","#290: i used to buy "" pussy "" cat toffee regularly before i came to iit . now i despise the stuff ... #DC ++ changed my life ."
"@KShisodia good, pyar khatam hojata warna </3","@KShisodia good, otherwise love would have finished"
#IfSuperheroesWereIndian phir hamaari auraton ko superhero nahi minions chahiye honge. #AwwSoCute,#IfSuperheroesWereIndian then our females would need superhero rather than minions. #AwwSoCute
"Kaltak SC ka #TripleTalaq opionion pe liberals banehue #BhaktGang "" aaj SC ki Hinduism ke upar opinion se bhokalagaye poora #JaagoBhaktoJaago",till yesterday they were becoming liberals on sc's #TripleTalaq #BhaktGang today they have been bamboozled on sc's hinduism opinion #JaagoBhaktoJaago
Aa gayi #Congress apni aukaat pe . Congress is going to disrupt #RailBudget2015 !! #SureshPrabhu,#Congress has come to its level . congress is going to disrupt #RailBudget2015 !! #SureshPrabhu
@narendramodi Sir mujhe ni lgta ki Aap concerned h,@narendramodi sir i dont think you are concerned
"Hello ""BAJRANGI BHAIJAAN""","hello ""bajrangi bhaijaan"""
Holi is trending . Abhi waterless holi ka gyaan baatna shuru kar denge kuch log .,holi is trending . now few people will start boasting about waterless holi
@hurdangi haan.. @sagarikaghose Didi aaj hare rang ke aam khaengi @the_hindu,@hurdangi haan.. @sagarikaghose sister will eat green mango today @the_hindu
@huh_watnow Dil to tumne le rakha hai,@huh_watnow you have taken the heart
"Shashikala be like ""Maine kaha tha na Jaya ke jaane ke 2 mahine ke andar CM ban kar dikhaungi..""pic.twitter.com/XnULxJEgfX","shashikala be like ""i had already told you that i will become pm 2 months after jaya leaves..""pic.twitter.com/XnULxJEgfX"
Ohhh #jio ye tumne kya ... iss mehengai ke jamane me tumne bhi,Ohhh #jio what did you do ... in this period of inflation
Aue bade hone par unhone Stayfree lagana shuru kar diya https://twitter.com/dhaikilokatweet/status/635723592878063617 …,after growing up they started applying stayfree https://twitter.com/dhaikilokatweet/status/635723592878063617 …
Itna gajab palti marte ho bhaiya ! Olym mein medal wedal kahe nahi dila dete ek tho ? Hain ? #Aadhaar pe bhi palti maroge ? #RightToPrivacy,you turn around so greatly brother !why dont your bring 1 or 2 medals in olympic ? will turn around on #Aadhaar too? #RightToPrivacy
Sir @kamaalrkhan aap ke saath David Cameron ne bahot galat kiya.,sir @kamaalrkhan david cameron did very wrong to you
@Ra_Bies gaali mat dena babu gali me vish bastaa hai,"@Ra_Bies do not abuse babu, it has poison in it"
@rahulroushan bahut hi baukhala gayi hain madam ji,@rahulroushan madam is very shocked
@APoonia19 dono bhai behen ho ? @rvgunjal2,@APoonia19 are you both brother and sister ? @rvgunjal2
Ye Sach haihttps://twitter.com/Ms__Bharti/status/896807257228419074 …,this is truth https://twitter.com/Ms__Bharti/status/896807257228419074 …
@LoKarloUnfollow Tere bachche kaun se school me jaenge ye baate kare ??  @Jal_Kukdi,@LoKarloUnfollow should we talk about the school your kids will go??  @Jal_Kukdi
@akshaykanitkar ajji sunte ho... Mera naya hair color kaisa laga?,@akshaykanitkar hey listen... how is my new hair color?
@aanchalator twitter walo ke 3 saal kaam kiya wo kaafi nahi hai kya :D,@aanchalator worked for twitter for 3 years is it not enough
"""Batao.. Bol raha hai Doraemon ko nahi jaanta..""pic.twitter.com/MPicBuHXtD","""tell.. he is saying that he doesnt know doraemon .""pic.twitter.com/MPicBuHXtD"
2017 to Delhi : Accha chalta hu Dhuaon' me yaad rakhna !! #DelhiSmog #delhipollution #2017,"2017 to delhi : okay i am going, remember me in smoke !! #DelhiSmog #delhipollution #2017"
"@someUSER yep .  once it's lost ,  it can never be returned .  i was in constitution hall last fri .  got chills .  so much history was almost lost","@someUSER yep .  once it's lost ,  it can never be returned .  i was in constitution hall last friday .  got chills .  so much history was almost lost"
@balliawalebaba Terrorist me @SethShruti se zyada akal hai,@balliawalebaba terrorist is smarter than @SethShruti
hahahaaa !  !  aur baad me jo look pite hue aur homework kiye bachon ka hota tha .  .  .  #losers :d,hahahaaa ! ! and afterwards the look of those children beaten for not doing homework
@HathwalaThakur Yes bhai @Ankiity,@HathwalaThakur yes brother @Ankiity
ek choti seat aage bhi hoti thi .  .  .  :p,one small seat was also in front . . . 
"Tujhe abhi reply kiya maine aur tune ignore kiya hai, ilzaam lagata hai </3","i replied you now and you ignored it, you blame"
Sach ka samna .roza he ke nahi ye batao?,face the truth. is it roza or not tell me?
jain book depot :d :d yayyyyyy bachpann ki yadein taza ho gayi .  .  .  .  the adorable most memorable 90s :),jain book depot :d :d yayyyyyy childhood memories revived .  .  .  .  the adorable most memorable 90s :)
@coolfunnytshirt dhanyawad Bhai!,@coolfunnytshirt thank you brother!
.@OfficeOfRG aap log kya Rahul baba ke diapers bhi change karte ho?,.@OfficeOfRG do you guys even change diapers of rahul?
@EngineeRoholic jail me to yeh sab chhod do,@EngineeRoholic leave it atleast in jail
"Dil tootne se awaaz nahi aati, bas gandi tweet aati hai.","voice doesnt come after heart breaks, only bad tweet comes."
Vladimir Putin is Vardhmaan Nitin #VHPNames,vladimir putin is vardhmaan nitin #VHPNames
pehle hi round m bahr .,out in first round.
@kritisanon @ipritamofficial @remodsouza @varun_dvn congrats ! 😄😍😊 but aaj kal 50 millions koi badi baat nahi hai YOUTUBE pe 😀,@kritisanon @ipritamofficial @remodsouza @varun_dvn congrats ! but nowadays 50 millions are not that big on youtube
Kya Salman bhai...mene job se 6uti lekar aaya apse baat krne ko ab aap 4 baje milege..,what salman brother...i took a leave from job to talk to you and you will meet at 4..
watching tarak mehta ka ulta chasma  ?,watching tarak mehta's upside down spectacles ?
"Ravish, dukaan wale se

Bhaiya 6 ande, 2 packet doodh, 1 bread aur aadha kilo jaati samikaran pack kar do

#FarziPatrakarRavishKumar","ravish, to shop owner

brother pack 6 eggs, 2 packet milk, 1 bread and half kilo caste ingredients  

#FarziPatrakarRavishKumar"
really miss u mahi sir .  ab match dekhne ka maja nhi aayega .  2014 me sab senior player chale gaye .  so sad,really miss you mahi sir .  now it wont be fun to watch a match .  all senior players went in 2014 .  so sad
Aaj 2 Matches Khailay Jaingy #SouthAfrica Vs #Afghanistan Dopher 2:30 Baje Aur #SriLanka Vs #WestIndies Sham 7 BajeHoga,today 2 matches will be played #SouthAfrica vs #Afghanistan 2:30 in afternoon and #SriLanka vs #WestIndies 7 in evening 
sabki same problem :(,everyone's same problem
think what happen jab principal sir round ho :-p,think what will happen if principal sir is round 
" khud hi ko zabardasti ka angel, cute, sweet bolne bahot mazza aata hai inhe","calling themselves angel, cute, sweet forcefully makes them very happy"
#RailBudget2015 higher expectations ... Dikaho ache din ... http://t.co/gBjdED9iM5,#RailBudget2015 higher expectations ... show me good days ... http://t.co/gBjdED9iM5
@klpe wo kya hota hai?,@klpe what is that?
"@ImRaina U know , Mahashivratri kyu celebrate karte hai ? Bcoz , Issi Shivratri ke din God Shivji ne Mata Parvati se shadi ki thi .","@ImRaina you know ,  why is mahashivratri celebrated ? because , god shivji married mother parvati on this day of shivratri ."
@tinabasetia behen kyu peeche padi ho,@tinabasetia sister why are you behind me
@Oinkoo gaon to tumhara hai gurgaon. Hamara metro city hai. Jodhpur. #bhairoxx @AskThePankazzzz,@Oinkoo village is yours gurgaon. we have metro city . jodhpur. #bhairoxx @AskThePankazzzz
@Atheist_Krishna isse zyada achchi gaaliya to mera beta de deta haipic.twitter.com/JQIVRY5H4y,@Atheist_Krishna even my son abuses more than him pic.twitter.com/JQIVRY5H4y
copy bhula gaya !  !,forgot copy ! !
@ek_samosa_dena gaanu kaisa hai?,@ek_samosa_dena how is gannu?
#JNU wale anti-national hain ye log desh ko girayenge..... I m like inka canteen me udhaari ha #mustwatch,#JNU people are anti-national they will destroy the country..... i am like they are in debt to canteen #mustwatch
humare desh #PresidentialElection pe caste dekha ja raha h to #gst me bhi to caste walo pe hona chaheya @narendramodi @AmitShah @PMOIndia,if our country looks at caste in #PresidentialElection then #gst also should be on people with caste @narendramodi @AmitShah @PMOIndia
"upar link pe click karo , ",click on the above link
@Miss_Woww Jee bhar ke naach le baby. Naach naach ke tod de sandal.. Aunty police bula legi to yaar tera kar lega handle..,@Miss_Woww dance till your heart gets filled. dance to break your sandal.. if aunty will call police then friend will handle..
bahut zor ka laga :(,hit me very hard
@SDhawan25 tumko shikhar par dekh ke bahaut khushi hui . Congratulations ! #IndvsSA #CWC15,@SDhawan25 watching you on the peak made me happy. congratulations ! #IndvsSA #CWC15
baithe mahashay ko #GST pr #LokSabha me discussion achchha nahi laga So rahe hain 0 #Jago .@abpnewshindi,sitting great person did not like discussion of #GST in #LokSabha he is sleeping #Jago .@abpnewshindi
"chalo achha hai, mujhe logon ko rulana pasand hai. huhuhu","it is good, i like to make people cry. huhuhu"
@DefucktiveHumor mai bhi wahi soch raha tha.,@DefucktiveHumor we were also thinking the same.
High 5 bhai!!,high 5 bhai!!
tu ladka hai? Toh chala jaa bhai,are you boy? then go brother
"Jammu , Bhutan , Nepal , Laddakh . Too much adventure . Samajh nahi aata Motabhai PM bane hain ya Roadie . ;) king awesome "" muhaaaaaaaaaa","jammu , bhutan , nepal , laddakh . too much adventure . i dont understand whether fat brother is pm or roadie .  king awesome  muhaaaaaaaaaa"
ye mera janm siddh adhikar hai :P,it is my birthright
bhajpaiyoon .   .   .   . chadi sambhal k rakhna .   .   .  feb 10 ko aukat pata chal jaega .   .   .,bhajpaiyoon .   .   .   . keep your underwear safe   .   .  you will know your status on 10 february.   .   .
@BolshoyBooze aur reference hai bhai. ab tu bhi frustrate karega dot laga ke,@BolshoyBooze and it is reference brother. now you will also frustrate by putting a dot
@Aampeepal ye kab hua?,@Aampeepal when did this happen?
Batman strepsils kyun nahi khata?,why doesnt batman eats strepsils?
Petroleum ke badhte rate ko #gst ke under kab la rahe hai.,when are the increasing petroleum rates coming under #gst
"Dhokla

RT @Shakti_Shetty Bhookh ke maare gareeb aakhir mein dhokha* kha leta hai.","dhokla

rt @Shakti_Shetty because of starveness the poor ultimately get betrayed."
"*@Madan_Chikna's wedding*

Pandit: Phero ke liye var vadhu taiyaar ho jaaye

Madan: Ruko.. 2-3 tweets pimp karne do..","*@Madan_Chikna's wedding*

pandit: groom and bride should be ready for the rounds

Madan: wait.. let me pimp 2-3 tweets.."
"@prajesh9465 @LoKarDi_RT @bizzarebhide tune bola aur maine kiya, bas abhi iPhone 6. Ye mujhe lalu bulaati hai tumhe kaise pata? :'9","@prajesh9465 @LoKarDi_RT @bizzarebhide you said and i did it, enough now iphone 6. she calls me lalu how do you know?"
"Waah re behen.
Sentiments sirf musalmanon ke hote hai, baaki logon ka fatwa aur baal aise hi kaat do koi sentiments hurt nahi hota tab.https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/857232018245128192 …","wow sister.
only muslims have sentiments, you cut other people's fatwa and hair then their sentiments don't get hurt https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/857232018245128192 …"
@DefucktiveHumor nahi.. Bhai.. Imaan nahi bechenge,@DefucktiveHumor no.. brother.. we wont sell self respect
"@Fuljhadii problem hai tumko, meetha ya dahi shakkar khaya kar raat mein","@Fuljhadii you have problem, eat sweet or sugar at night"
"kachhua sir kabhi history padhate hain ,  kabhi hindi aur aaj english padhane lag gaye ?  ? ","kachhua sir teaches history sometimes, sometimes hindi and today he started teaching english ? ?"
"IMF, Surjit Bhalla, Arvind Virmani, YV Reddy, Subbarao, C Rangarajan, Vivek Dehejia, Rajiv Kumar, Subeer Gokarnhttps://twitter.com/dhume/status/801829517035765760 …","imf, surjit bhalla, arvind virmani, yv reddy, subbarao, c rangarajan, vivek dehejia, rajiv kumar, subeer gokarn https://twitter.com/dhume/status/801829517035765760 …"
Hi im Rahul Stumping miss karta hun har game me Naam to suna hoga ? #RCBvRPS #IPL,hi i am rahul i miss stumping in every game you must have heard my name ? #RCBvRPS #IPL
aur kya chahiye a @MeetUunngLee ko?,what does @MeetUunngLee want?
nick dekh bhai :),watch nick brother
@oxymoronic_me hadd hai yaar,@oxymoronic_me it is enough friend
Mauka mauka .... Pakistani Bhaiyon ab toh phatake 2019 w.c k liye bacchane ki jarurat nai ... It's better u throw them .... :p,opportunity opportunity .... pakistani brothers now it is not necessary to save fireworks for world cup 2019 ... it's better u throw them .... 
<b>BHAAI COMENTSS KRTE KARTE BETTRY LOW HONE KO AAYI YE KYA BAAT YR,brother battery level got low while commenting what is this
arre ap to aaynge nhi hm ja rhe h.....,you wont come so we are going
I expect National Award for Shah Rukh after Fan : Maneesh Sharma ViralsDaily - https://t.co/9qPotuLtPQ,i expect national award for shah rukh after fan : maneesh sharma viralsdaily - https://t.co/9qPotuLtPQ
@ghost_particle dashh ne kar diya,@ghost_particle dashh did it
@aishh124 kuch tweets kiye the tumne toh thumbnail mein dikha ..,@aishh124 tweeted few tweets and you watched them through thumbnail ..
Pollard ke aang mein Simmons ka bhoot aaya hai. #MIvsKKR,simmons' ghost came into pollard's body parts. #MIvsKKR
@lady_gabbar Angrezi bhasha ka upyog. Tum rehne do,@lady_gabbar use of english language. you leave it
dosto bjp ko jitao .,friends help bjp win
.@ManUtd Bhaichung Bhutia,.@ManUtd bhaichung bhutia
guddu: method actor hai boss .  .  .,guddu: he is method actor boss .  .  .
"@someUSER if you happen to come online ,  know that your mccurdians trended  "" jennette on ellen ""  for mccurdian monday :)","@someUSER if you happen to come online ,  know that your mccurdians trended  "" jennette on ellen ""  for mccurdian monday "
"lamb of god concert on wednesday ,  formal on saturday ,  and 1st anniversary with my baby martin on sunday &lt;3","lamb of god concert on wednesday ,  formal on saturday ,  and 1st anniversary with my baby martin on sunday "
thakur abhi trailer se kaam chalaye https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/771424418375561216 …,nobleman use this trailer for now https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/771424418375561216 …
kamaaaL karte ho salllu ji.....rply to bnta h n....,you do amazing sallu ji....reply is made isnt it
"Tumhara rape kab hua tha Kiran ""jii aur kitne saalo ho raha ""hai apko report karwana ""chahiye be brave. Aage Bado inspiration bano.","when did you got raped kiran, and for how many years you should report it be brave move on and be an inspiration"
@suchetadalal navi mumbai rly stations have good halls for such seminar especially sapada rly station & vashi,@suchetadalal navi mumbai railway stations have good halls for such seminar especially sapada railway station and vashi
"@BolshoyBooze ek bar galti se lag gaya tha, shaktiman chal raha tha :(","@BolshoyBooze it happened by mistake, shaktiman was walking"
"chalegi jhaadu udegi dhool , naa rahega panja na rahega flower . ","broom will work and dust will fly, arm wont be their neither will flower"
@Choti_Daku kaam par jao yaar,@Choti_Daku go for work friend
Aaj tumhe bhi ek mukka padegapic.twitter.com/pSLERHXHbe,today you will also get punched pic.twitter.com/pSLERHXHbe
@huh_watnow ye Pakistani bohot gire hue hai,@huh_watnow these pakistanis are very cheap people
"Chalo achha huwa, tum mendak jaise khush huwe honge","it happened for good, you must have been happy like a frog"
ian chappel greg chappel n indian chappal .  .  aaj teeno ko tv k saamne hi rehna hai .  .,ian chappel greg chappel and indian slipper .  .  today all three wants to stay in front of television .  .
Bhai har tyohaar pe hum mithaiya khate hai aur tu gaaliyanhttps://twitter.com/waglenikhil/status/640033217622310920 …,brother in every festival we eat sweets and you get abused https://twitter.com/waglenikhil/status/640033217622310920 …
@HudDangee bhagg.. Achchi to thi..pic.twitter.com/kaRcbNAGDI,@HudDangee run..it was a good pic. twitter.com/kaRcbNAGDI
gov .  mitch daniels is rallying republicans with a rare appearance that may have violated h http/URL,government .  mitch daniels is rallying republicans with a rare appearance that may have violated  http/URL
haire aankho me paani agaya .  .  .  jaise kuch din pehle ki baat hi to hai :),tears came out of eyes . . . like it was yesterday's talk
#TripleTalaq Aaj ye dekhana hai ki congress Muslim mahilao ke sath hai ki virodh main.,#TripleTalaq today we have to watch whether congress is with muslim women or agianst them
"@Alllahdin tujhe USB cable pata hai! Main sab jaanta hu, Janata ko andhere mein naa rakho","@Alllahdin you know USB cable ! i know everything, dont keep the public in darkness"
Gazab phati hui haihttps://twitter.com/AdityaRajKaul/status/826116098462412800 …,it's teared apart incredibly https://twitter.com/AdityaRajKaul/status/826116098462412800 …
"*At Zoo*
American Kid - Dad, look at that Snake!

Indian - Abey Dilip.. Woh dekh kitna bada saap. Jiska patthar 3 baar laga, Karishma uski.","*at zoo*
american kid - dad, look at that snake!

indian - hey dilip.. look at that snake it is so big. whoever hits it 3 times, he can have karishma."
"acha ni hai ,  bekaar hai","not good, it is useless"
ye bhabhiya bhejtE time tumne kaha tha only cash @HathwalaThakur @bhaiyyajispeaks,while sending this you said only in cash @HathwalaThakur @bhaiyyajispeaks
Good morning labors .. Subah subah uth gaye ?,Good morning labors .. woke up in the morning ?
kaushal :d hahah ye wala dekh bhai ultimate h,kaushal hahah watch this one it is ultimate 
"Kisi ko Pakistan se problem hai, kisi ko US se, toh kisi ko Saudi se. Aur ek tu hai jisko Dutch se problem hai.","someone has problem with pakistan, someone with us, someone with saudi, and there you are who has problem with dutch"
Yeh GST bhi koi GST hai.. Sat sun sab working desh mein 1 July se lagega.. apni life pe to pehle se GST lag gaya hai..,is this gst a gst.. saturday sunday for every working days it will be implemented from 1 july.. gst was already implemented on my life
.@twinitisha neeche plug nikla hua hai..,.@twinitisha the plug is out down there
@viveks1107 tu shift zhaalays ka tithe? Mi sadhya Dilli la aahe,@viveks1107 have you shifted there yet? i am currently in delhi
Ye sab jhnjhat  ke beech mein ye maharathi alag.https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/836514525738233856 …,in all this mess marathi are different .https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/836514525738233856 …
ye school kalpanik h  .  .  .  iska vastvikta s koi talluk nhi :-p,"this school is imaginary, it has no relation with reality"
Kya aap jaage ho?,are you awake?
Sir...#GST aisa kya urgent tha? Ek baar DEBIT CREDIT visheshagyo se salaah kar lete...,sir...was #gst that urgent? debit card specialists should have been consulted once
"hahaha aise school mein top karna mushkil hota bhai ,  hum sab fadoo performer the contra aur mario ke :)","hahaha it is difficult to excel in school like this big brother, we all were amazing performers in contra and mario :)"
@kamleshneema @SonyTV Naam kucho naahi hai humaar lekin pata nahi kaahey sab log humka PK-PK bulawat hai? #PKTonight @SonyTV,@kamleshneema @SonyTV i do not have a name but i do not know why people call me pk-pk? #PKTonight @SonyTV
@someUSER best year ever it will be !  i am tossing the idea of hawaii around for mid jan to mid feb .  but california dreaming for suuure,"@someUSER best year ever it will be! i am tossing the idea of hawaii around for middle of january to middle of february, but dreaming for california for sure."
cc @arunjaitley sir mauka haath se mat jaane dohttps://twitter.com/discopiggu/status/810765997548322816 …,"cc @arunjaitley sir, do not let the opportunity slip. dohttps://twitter.com/discopiggu/status/810765997548322816 …"
excited to head to #florida tomorrow .  participating in the #tyrf #strikeforce to make sure fl goes 4 #mittromney .  #tcot #txcot #dallasgop,excited to head to #florida tomorrow .  participating in the #tyrf #strikeforce to make sure florida goes 4 #mittromney .  #tcot #txcot #dallasgop
"bhai tu jo bhi hai ,  par jo bhi tu post krta h ,  sidha dil tak aati hai .  .  .  .  .  .  lag raha bhai aise hi .  .  .  . ","brother, whoever you are, whenever you post, it goes straight to my heart. Looks like a borther for no reason."
@zoomphatak aadhe logo ko samaj hi nahi aaya @aamir_khan,@zoomphatak half of the people did not understand it @aamir_khan
Jeeyo aur peene do.,live and let drink.
@pr_akash_raj thanks raj bhai,"@pr_akash_raj thanks, brother Raj"
dude exactly same here  .  .  .  after 3 years we broke up coz it was affecting my career her caeer and not able to enjoy also  .  .  .,"dude exactly same here. after 3 years we broke up because it was affecting my career, her career and I was not able to enjoy also."
@MeetUunngLee dhundne pe bhagwan bhi milta hai,@MeetUunngLee even god can be found when searched for.
itna intazaar :O :(,so much wait :O :(
@bhak_sala Anushka dila do,@bhak_sala get me Anushka
@someUSER we usually get president's day in february before 2 wks for spring break in march .  that'll be it til may 31 for summer break .,@someUSER we usually get president's day in february before 2 weeks for spring break in march.  that'll be it till may 31 for summer break.
"@YearOfRat agar dekhe jaaye toh sab yahan aise hi hai, unmein se tumhara number last hi hoga!","@YearOfRat if thought upon, all are like this here. among them, you would be the last!"
"Dikh raha hai, angrezi bol lo yaar","it is being seen, please speak in english, friends"
maa aaj bhi papa se chhupa ke money deti hai :),mother still gets me money secretly by hiding it from father :)
@nickhunterr mujhe meri Roma doondne do,@nickhunterr let me look for my roma
awoo kare baat salman ke sath`-?,"come, let us talk to salman?"
@HathwalaThakur bhai bahot zordar!!,"@HathwalaThakur very amazing, brother!!"
GG ke 5 fans aate hi honge tujhe report karnehttps://twitter.com/firkiii/status/857956708525780992 …,gg’s 5 fans would be coming to report you https://twitter.com/firkiii/status/857956708525780992 …
too good yr .  .  .,too good friend...
just added a google+ hangout to the schedule--see you on november 21 ?  !  details here: http/URL,"just added a google+ hangout to the schedule, see you on november 21?details here: http/URL"
Apna bhai sallu bhai d everlasting men :-),"our brother sallu brother, the everlasting men :-)"
@newton3G hahaa.. Sahi kaha bhai @TimesNow,"@newton3G hahaa.. truly said, brother @TimesNow"
@TweetErrant thank u likh likh ke thak gaya.. To fav karna chalu kar diya..,"@TweetErrant tired to write thank you, you start marking it as favorite"
@LoKarDi_RT tujhe bahot pata hai,@LoKarDi_RT you know very much
"Aise jhoot mat bol, aur aaya hai toh mil","dont lie like this, and meet me if you have come"
"""Mujhe states ke naam na sunai dete hai na dikhai dete hai, sirf ek mulk ka naam"" - NaMohttps://twitter.com/wbpolice/status/804395369245216768 …","""i am unable to hear the name of the states, only the name of the nation"" - NaMohttps://twitter.com/wbpolice/status/804395369245216768 …"
@imsatyam15 @AnjuNagarajan @narendramodi Bahot sahi vichar aur ye bat Atalji ne bhi kahi thi .,"@imsatyam15 @AnjuNagarajan @narendramodi very good thought, this was said by atal sir as well"
@Punjaabi_Tadkaa ek thandi beer pee aur ek cigarette jala.. jeet chuke hain.,"@Punjaabi_Tadkaa have a cold beer and light a cigaratte, victory has been achieved"
"#TweetLikeGareebGuy
@twinitisha Have I started looking like I'm starving? Roz mere liye koi na koi kuchh naa kuchh lataa hai khane ke liye!","#TweetLikeGareebGuy
@twinitisha have i started looking like i'm starving? Brings some food or another for me everyday!"
kya lagta hai sir? Dangal badiya thi ya Sultan?,what do you think sir? which is better dangal or sultan?
uriya me hi likh deta  .  .  smjh to wo bhi nhi ana tha or ye bhi nhi aya,you should have written in uriya. Could neither have understood that nor this.
"Yeah bro . Dont lose hope . Believe that you can fall in love again and with a different persin . Once you find love again , you will forget this girl","yeah bro. do not lose hope. believe that you can fall in love again and with a different person. once you find love again, you will forget this girl"
Is movie ko salam bhai bhi nahi bacha payenge ?,even Salman brother cannot save this movie?
kunal see people copy my plans .  .  . \m/ lol,kunal see people copy my plans  \m/ lol
@KyaUkhaadLega .... ye history channel vale bhi mile hue hain ji ...,@KyaUkhaadLega these history channel people are also involved
@hardik @ImpatientWoman Arey jagah kahan hai office main ? Sab kaam chalu hai,@hardik @ImpatientWoman is there space in office? every work is in progress
"Aatma aur mun ki pavitrata ki jhalak hai is beti ki aawaz mei, khush raho beti.","soul and mind’s purity is reflected in this daughter’s voice, stay happy, daughter."
@ek_samosa_dena LOL. Mujhe kya hua bhai?,@ek_samosa_dena lol. What happened to me brother?
Log itna khush kyu ho rahe hai?,why are people getting so happy?
"tere liye ladka ladki equal hai to tu shaadi karte time toss karna head tail ki kisse shadi krun,  ladke se yaa ladki se  .  .  .  .","for you, being a boy or a girl is the same, so hile marrying, you should toss head or tail to decide whom to marry, a girl or a boy"
salman khan rock's ss,Salman Khan rocks
@Psilosophy haaye mere local robin sharma,@Psilosophy oh my local robin sharma
"Baadlon mein chhup raha hai chaand kyu?

Nana Patekar: BAS KAR MERI MAA MEREKO CHAIN SE USSAL PAAV KHAANE DE!

#Emo","why is the moon hiding behind the clouds? nana patekar: please stop, my mother, let me peacefully eat ussal paav!"
"@ruchikokcha waah, kya soch hai. parnaam","@ruchikokcha wow, what great thoughts, salute"
@YouDontKnowWho_ naam se hi lag raha tha bhai. I'm more shocked ki tu bhi aisi films dekhta hai.,@YouDontKnowWho_ it can be interpreted from the name brother. i’m more shocked that you also watch such films.
Kabhi inn ministers ne khudka 15 laakh ka coat pehna hai ??,have any of these ministers worn their own coat worth 15 lacs?? 
@BabaFirki bas abhi aankh khuli hai!,@BabaFirki only now the eyes have been opened!
@BrushUrTeeth_03 sirf tum tak limited hai. chalega? :),@BrushUrTeeth_03 it is only limited till you. will it work?
"chhod do, shaant hojao! <3  @_krishmand <3","leave it, get silent! <3  @_krishmand <3"
@witchybitchygal Plane ki khidki se haath bahar mat nikaalna,@witchybitchygal do not get your hands out from the flight’s window
@mihirmodi Nahi bas garmi bahut thi toh T-shirt utari hai,"@mihirmodi no, it was too hot, so got off the t-shirt"
"@nainkatary arre, miss kar diya maine... itni pyari shakal hai tumhari","@nainkatary oh, i missed it, your face looks lovely."
guddu tumhara hi school aisa hoga yaar .  mera school n mere teacher to ache h .,"guddu, only your school would as such, friend. my school and teachers are nice."
@AdvancedMaushi valentine aa gaya darling.. Kya plans ??,@AdvancedMaushi valentine has come. what are the plans??
Kal India haare ya jeete.. Dhoni zindabad tha.. Zindabad hai aur Zindabad rahega !!!,"tomorrow whether india wins or loses, dhoni did live long, he is living long and may he live long!!!"
guddu bhai captain ban jao ab tum  .  .  .  aur 2-4 ad campaign krlo,"guddu brother, you should become the captain. and start 2-4 ad campaign."
@Alllahdin Yaar @indiantweeter aisa na kar bhai bhul chuk maaf. Bhai samajh kar maafi de do @AskThePankazzzz,"@Alllahdin friend @indiantweeter do not do this, forgive my mistake, forgive me as a brother @AskThePankazzzz"
@SiyamSheikh and mustafizur bhi injured hain ... Phir toh Bangladesh team ko problem hogi bahut abhi !,@SiyamSheikh and mustafizur ia also injured. and then the bangladesh team will have problems!
"@samar02 @Dishasatra bhai zabardasti kisko kar sakte hai ab, marzi hai.","@samar02 @Dishasatra we can not force anyone, brother. it is your wish."
Right to recall #GST #CoalScam #Noteban #metrofairincrease jaisi pareshaniyon ka permanent solution hai.,Right to recall #GST #CoalScam #Noteban #metrofairincrease is the permanent solution to these problems.
@BloodyKamina aaj se apni dushmani chalu @SunnyLeone @iPoonampandey,@BloodyKamina from today our enmity begins @SunnyLeone @iPoonampandey
"Gulzar Saab, writer agar politics nahi karta to pehle to use Akademi award nahi milta, aur mil bhi gaya tha to wo use lautaata nahi.","gulzaar sir, if the writer did not do politics, he would not have got the academy award, and even if he would have got it, he would not have returned it."
rubbish news .  .  .  .  baki sab badsurat hain kya ?  ?  ?,rubbish news. do the others look ugly
.@SrBachchan  Sir @NSaina ne french cut rakh li kya. Pehchan me hi nahi aa rahi.,".@SrBachchan sir, has @Nsaina kept a french cut? she is not looking familiar."
Koi price kam nahi karta.. ab sab log same price rakhne ke liye price badha denge.. #GST,no one reduces the prices. now everyone will inflate the prices to keep the prices same.
shopping after the bell game saturday  .,"shopping after the bell game, saturday?"
Gholo aur zeher gholo .. aaj kal #JNU me ye hi to sikhate hai .. aur waise phd kab puri hone wali hai .. Veteran students of JNU ..,"poison, poison it more. these days in #JNU this is being taught. and anyway when is the phd going to complete? veteran students of JNU "
"Subah se lekar shaam tak, shaam se lekar raat tak, raat se lekar subah tak, subah se phir shaam tak atm ki line mein khade raho.","from moring till evening, from evening till night, from night till morning, from morning till evening again, stand in queue at the atm."
@AashuParashar3 @postpickle tabhi toh apna connection wi fi aur bluetooth se bhi jyaada strong hai 😋,@AashuParashar3 @postpickle that is why our connection is stronger than wifi and bluetooth.
"Petrol diesel badh rahe baar baar

Agli baar phir Modi sarkaar ??","petrol diesel increasing again and again, next time should there be Modi government again?"
@RoflGandhi_ lagta hai abhi shadi nahi hui hai,@RoflGandhi_ looks like not married still
i'm on leave .  planned it earned it .  ab chipka hu tv se .  ,"i'm on leave. i planned it, earned it. now i am stuck to television."
"technology aage badh gayi hai, aajkal AI ko sab pata hota hai! :D","technology has moved progressed. these days, AI knows everything :D"
@Gurmeetramrahim @derasachasauda papa ji god morning Happy mothers day #MSGmission,"@Gurmeetramrahim @derasachasauda papa ji good morning, happy mothers day #MSGmission"
"Doosra phone aane de, baad me dm karta hu","let another phone arrive, i will directly message you."
Chicken ki koi ideology nahi hoti. Log uska left wing bhi khate hain aur right bhi.,there’s no ideology for chicken. people eat its left wing as well as its right wing.
Raat ko bhi log spoilers de dete hai.,"even at night, people give spoilers"
"Oh tabhi Noida walon ki shakal aisi lagti hai, wohi main sochu :P",oh that’s why Noida people look like this. this made me think :P
"keep it up ,  comedy night with arvind kejriwal is sucess at t . v .  its trp is highest . ","keep it up, comedy night with arvind kejriwal is sucessful on television. its trp is the highest. "
Emotion pucha tha bhai kya sun liyahttps://twitter.com/chetannarula/status/810838788901634049 …,"i had asked about emotion, what else did you hear https://twitter.com/chetannarula/status/810838788901634049 …"
sahi kaha bhai.  @_SandSurfer @Singhlicious,"truly said, brother @_SandSurfer @Singhlicious"
#AwardWapsiGang to hai hi par usse pahle #SurgicalStrike ka saboot mangne walon ko jeep par sabse pahle bandho .,"#AwardWapsiGangia laready there, but before that those asking for the evidence for #SurgicalStrike should be tied to the jeep"
"Pehle #GST returns thik se file ""karo baad me tumhara naam liya jayega ;)","first file #GST returns properly, and then yourname will be called upon ;)"
"jab tak chips ka packet bhara hai ,  inka haath chalta rahega :d","until the packet of chips is full, their hands will keep functioning :d"
mere pas abhi b 2 video games or kai cassettes h .  .  .,i still have 2 video games and a few cassettes.
@UniqueIdiot_ bhai naya TV le le,"@UniqueIdiot_ brother, get a new television"
Sir tweet churana band kare aur 2-3 missile chalane ka aadesh dehttps://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/779671740804960256 …,"sir, stop copying tweets and give the orders to fire 2-3 missiles https://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/779671740804960256 …"
@news24tvchannel very good Virat and m.s Dhoni aap ko aur puri team ko bahut bahut badhaiya,@news24tvchannel very good Virat and M.S Dhoni. congratulations to you and your team
contra mario tank jevlin throw .  .  yaad aa gya 1dam se .  .,"contra, mario, javalein throw. i recalled those accidently."
"[Meanwhile Sarfraz Khan to @TheRealPCB]

""Janab! Ye jersey ke color ka kuch ho sakta hai kya Sunday tak,bahut wakt ho gya isi me khelte hue""","[Meanwhile Sarfraz Khan to @TheRealPCB]

""sir! can something be done about the color of the t-shirt by sinday, it has been a long time playing with it.”"
honest man arbind kejiriwal .  . sory arbind i cant vote fr u bcoz im from nepal .  .,"honest man, arvind kejiriwal. sorry arvind, i can’t vote for you because i am from nepal."
ye to bigad ne ka age hai…,this age is to get spoiled
ofc mein but tv se :),in office but with televison :)
saare paise yuhi chale jate :(,all the money would have gone like anything :(
"@someUSER 9/9 account using your blackberry device ,  u may want to follow @someUSER for updates and additional support from rim . ","@someUSER 9/9 account using your blackberry device ,  you may want to follow @someUSER for updates and additional support from rim. "
.@MANJULtoons 1-2 hashtag kam reh gaye.. Wo bhi laga daal,".@MANJULtoons 1-2 hashtags have been added less, add a few more"
yeh sweater bune wali teachers har school mein hoti h ?  ?  mere m b thi :p,those teachers who weave sweaters are in everyone’s school? They were there in mine :p
Bhai. Shahid ki shaadi mein nai gaye. ? ??,"brother, didn’t you go to Shashid’s marriage?"
"@scaryhairyman sab bol rahe hai, ab dekhni hi padegi","@scaryhairyman everyone is saying, now i will have to watch"
Bhai hashtag ke aage dot lagane ki zarurat nahi https://twitter.com/EconomicTimes/status/808589780451786752 …,"brother, no need to add a dot before hashtag https://twitter.com/EconomicTimes/status/808589780451786752 …"
diarrhoea khatarnaak bimaari hai bhai @JantaKaReporter,"diarrhoea is a dangerous disease, brother @JantaKaReporter"
@nickhunterr ae jaate hue lamho.. @twinitisha,@nickhunterr o losing moments @twinitisha
@GaurangBhardwa1 kisi ki bhavanao ke screenshots ka mazaak  @deepfeelingssss @Ra_Bies,@GaurangBhardwa1 ridicule of screenshot of someone’s emotions @deepfeelingssss @Ra_Bies
Aisi kismat ke saath to aaj west indies women's team se bhi nahi jeet sakte they.,"with luck, we could not have won even against west indies’ women’s team"
"Sex ratio to badh gaya "" magar kya isi din ke liye 0 ? Kab surakshit hongi desh me betiyan 0 ???","sex ratio has increased, but for this day? When will the daughters be safe?"
.@JhaSanjay 1.25 rupaye mandir me chadaye ?,.@JhaSanjay did you donate 1.25 rupees to the temple?
"@someUSER i'll be in poland but back sunday eve ,  catch you then ! ","@someUSER i'll be in poland but back on sunday evening, catch you then ! "
@abpnewstv why not hike the petrol price to 120 rs/Ltr ... Baar baar shock dene se accha hai ki ek baar mein hi de diya jaye !,@abpnewstv why not hike the petrol price to 120 rs/Ltr ... better to increase it once rather than doing it now and then
Ab kon pataakhe fod raha hai delhi mai jo pollution level badh gaya hai #delhipollution #INDvsSL #KingKohli #crackersban,now who is firing crackers in Delhi that is causing the pollution to increase #delhipollution #INDvsSL #KingKohli #crackersban
Jo log daaru nahi peeta.. Woh daaru peene walo ko judge kyu karte hai  https://twitter.com/LEDtvn/status/630963568775557120 …,Why do those who do not drink liquor judge those who do https://twitter.com/LEDtvn/status/630963568775557120 …
@LaliJogan37 Dilli walo ke achche din khatam,@LaliJogan37 end of good days for people of Delhi
@patelinside @Sammypedia Yeh pun to Raavan ke zamaaney ka hai. :D,@patelinside @Sammypedia this pun is from the times of Ravana :D
@PrabhakarDwiv20 kya hal hai,@PrabhakarDwiv20 how are you
yaad nh toh km se km jikr toh sahi kar lala .  .  #garbagebin,"if you do not remember, at least mention it properly, friend  #garbagebin"
"""Sue ji hain kya?"" - Aamir Khan in Rang de Basanti","""is Sue there?"" - Aamir Khan in Rang de Basanti"
"Agar DELHI walo ko lungs cancer hota ""hai Toh ye mat smjhna Ki wo CIGERETE pite hai. #DelhiSmog #Polution","if delhi people get lung cancer, do not assume that they smoke cigarattes. #DelhiSmog #Polution"
Mujhe toh lagta hai Sarkaar nayi schemes laati hi hai Bachchan sahab ko Ambassador banane ke liye. #GST,i think the government brings new schemes just to make Bachchan sir the ambassador. #GST
@balliawalebaba haan ye to hona hi tha @Mad_Mommy_,"@balliawalebaba yes, this was supposed to happen @Mad_Mommy_"
Koi dhkta bhi hoga etne comment.,does someone even look at so many comments
"Now I am ""sure #GST sabko le dubegi. #Modiji aap kaise bachoge ? Yeh aapke khilaaf koi saajish hai. @PMOIndia",now i am sure #GST will sink everyone. #Modiji how are you going to be saved ? This is a conspiracy against you. @PMOIndia
Surat wale congress ki baaton me na aaye congress ne bhi GST ko support kiya hai. Wo bhi nahi nikal payega. #GST,People of surat should not listen to Congress. Congress also supported GST. That also could not be passed. #GST
"@ManishSrcc episode barabar hain, emotions aage piche hain","@ManishSrcc episode is okay, emotions are not in place"
hahaha ladkiyaan fir fail .  .  3 stage b paar nai kar paai,"hahaha girls again failed, could not clear even 3 stages"
Bro ap to baat karo 4:00 kap tak baj gya,"Bro you keep talking, its already 4:00"
#India kewal #Pakistan ko dhamki deta hye .. aur ye dekho #Trump ko !,"#India can only threaten #Pakistan, and look at #Trump!"
nothng can beat this :*,nothing can beat this :*
#congress walo ko kab samjh ayega ki #RahulGandhi unke liye kam or #bjp k liye jada lucky hai,When will #congress people understand that #RahulGandhi is more lucky for #bjp than them
@PriyancaBajaj sahi me Bajaj saab,"@PriyancaBajaj truly said, Bajaj sir"
@_07deeksha aajkal cricket me dekhne layak kuch aaye to,@_07deeksha these days there should be something in cricket worth watching
"if you cant win someone ,  spread rumours abouthim ,  abuse him .  and thats what modi is doingthats what bjp is doing .  keep on .  people of delhiis educated not blind . ","if you cant win someone, spread rumours about him, abuse him and thats what modi is doing, thats what bjp is doing, keep on, people of delhi zre educated, not blind. "
@MaheshJagga Sir lagta hai story hi ulti hai @sardesairajdeep @BDUTT @ppbajpai,@MaheshJagga Sir looks like the story is reverse @sardesairajdeep @BDUTT @ppbajpai
"Modi: Ye zameen bhi ?

Man: Haan sir.. ye saari zameen Vadra saab ki hai..pic.twitter.com/pFF4LzzFkb","Modi: this land also ?

Man: yes sir, all these lands belong to Vadra..pic.twitter.com/pFF4LzzFkb"
greenbrier &amp, summers counties have just been placed under a winter storm watch for monday night through tuesday .  .  .  http/URL
Accha hua Parthiv Patel jaldi out ho gaya.,good that Parthiv Patel got out soon
"""Lagta hai bura waqt suru ho gaya hai "" #BiharKaJaichandShatrughanpic.twitter.com/ylJ6gD1bWO","""looks like bad times have started "" #BiharKaJaichandShatrughanpic.twitter.com/ylJ6gD1bWO"
"mat dekho brothers and sisters ,  dekha nahi jayega","dont look, brothers and sisters, you should not be looking"
"Mitron "" nirav modi ji ka relation india ke kaun se rich industrialist parivaar se hai ? Batao zara ? #PNBFraud","Mitron "" nirav modi is with which big industrialist family? tell me please?#PNBFraud"
Ye kaun afwaah phaila raha hai?,who is spreading this rumor?
awsum .  .  .  .  .  last one i was like guddu during my school days .  .  .  .,"awesome, last one i was like guddu during my school days"
@scratchysingh @akshaykanitkar @Alllahdin @YearOfRat @indiantweeter Singh Sahab Salaam!,@scratchysingh @akshaykanitkar @Alllahdin @YearOfRat @indiantweeter salute sir!
wonderful show .  .  jaroor dekhiye,"wonderful show, must watch"
@BloodyKamina waah CID me bharti ho jaa,"@BloodyKamina nice, enrol into CID"
@Atheist_Krishna haha! HDMI ka sahi upyog. Poora IIT ka banda lag raha hai,"@Atheist_Krishna haha! good use of HDMI, looks exactly like an IIT guy"
desperation day (february 13th) the most well known day in all mens life .,desperation day (february 13th)
@Jr_Hpatel haan bhai chalega,"@Jr_Hpatel yes bro, will work"
@nainkatary ismein hasna kyu hai?,@nainkatary what is there to laugh about?
Ye Hui Na Bat ... Isi tarah samjhana chahye is #Trump ko,now this is the right talk... #Trump should be explained like this only
@CrimeMasterV2 gaali mat do bhai. Swacch Twitter abhiyan @ndtv @OpIndia_com @YearOfRat,"@CrimeMasterV2 dont speak bad words brother, clean twitter movement @ndtv @OpIndia_com @YearOfRat"
@oxymoronic_me romance kaise hota hai ye main bhul chuka hu :'( #thanks :-**,@oxymoronic_me even i have forgotten how to do romance :'( #thanks :-**
Bhagwaan tu mujhe girlfriend de ya na de.. Sonia Rahul ko jail ki saza zaroor de #SoniaRahulHazirHo,"god, you  don’t give me a girlfriend.. Sonia Rahul should get jail as a punishment #SoniaRahulHazirHo"
"@rootofall3vil climate change nahi hua hai, hum change ho gaye hain","@rootofall3vil climate change has not happened, we have changed"
if you love to dance i hope to see you supporting this event .  saturday .  all info on the flyer !  http/URL,if you love to dance i hope to see you supporting this event on saturday .  all information is on the flyer !  http/URL
"Ek badi aayu ke sardar mujhse kahein ki meri ek iccha hai "" mujhe bhi Pak ki seema pe duty de do "" ek aur #surgicalstrike ka mauka de do - PM",one elderly sardaar told me that he has one wish “give me duty on the pakistan border as well” to give one more opportunity for #surgicalstrike  - PM
@aashish20 yeh kahan se kood gaye Bhai,"@aashish20 from where did he jump into, brother"
@RabiaAnumm and 2 number khan haar gyaa,@RabiaAnumm and where did you lose 2 numbers
"Sir, @ArvindKejriwal @ashutosh83B @DrKumarVishwas ek nazar","Sir, @ArvindKejriwal @ashutosh83B @DrKumarVishwas one view"
"tumko sab pata hai, tum bhi woh category ke ho?","you know everything, are you also from that category?"
"Bina daant ghise naashta karunga, muh se badbu aaye to sach bata dunga, haan milord haan nahi ghisa hai maine daant
#SwachhNahiSach","will have breakfast without brushing my teeth, if my mouth stinks i will tell the truth, yes, my lord, i have not brushed my teeth #SwachhNahiSach"
Congrats @SethShruti behen log tumhara naam jaan gaye. kam se kam twitter par.,"congratulations @SethShruti girls now know your name, atleast on twitter"
@BinaKaheLunga jao desh ka naam roshan karo @BCCI,"@BinaKaheLunga go, make the nation proud @BCCI"
@premlata_rai tujhe bahot achha lagta hai na mujhse baat karne? Pata hai mujhe.,@premlata_rai you like it very much to talk to me? i know
@SritikaDhar aisa kya hogaya?,@SritikaDhar what happened as such?
amazing one bhai  !  !  yaad aa gaye wo din !  !  !,"amazing one, brother!! i remembered those days!!!"
is bande ko Delhi walon ki immaturity par poora bharosa haihttps://twitter.com/aajtak/status/672416882637455360 …,this guy is fully confident about delhi people’s immaturity https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/672416882637455360 …
#MarchForProperty to banta hai @AnupamPkher #KiranKher #bjpkegunde #bjpexposed #WT20 #MarchMadness https://t.co/KmXnJbDC4t,#MarchForProperty should happen @AnupamPkher #KiranKher #bjpkegunde #bjpexposed #WT20 #MarchMadness https://t.co/KmXnJbDC4t
Naa bus mein nahi tha main :),"no, i was not in the bus :)"
@_SandSurfer maaf kar de bhai,@_SandSurfer forgive me brother
@Shahrcasm gun nahi mil rahi,@Shahrcasm unable to find the gun
ladkiya phir fail ho gaye .  .  .  . boys are toppers :),girls failed again...boys are toppers :)
"today match against ach ljubljana ,  2nd game in the champions league ! ","today’s match against ach ljubljana,  2nd game in the champions league ! "
"Me: Network nahi aa raha

Vodafone: Tera kya, hamara bhi nahi aa raha","Me: there is no network
Vodafone: what about you, even we are not getting it"
Sir @ArvindKejriwal Pyaar ka Punchnama 2 release hue 1 din ho gaya hai.. review kab doge.. Aaj shaam ko dost log plan bana rahe hai,"sir @ArvindKejriwal it has been 1 day since the release of pyaar ka punchnama 2, when are you giving the review. friends are making plans for today evening."
haan yaar dimag kharab ho jata tha .  .  . i remember my frst cassatte jisme snow bros bna tha n nikla circus n tank .  .  .  .,"yes friend, it is frustrating, i remember my first cassette which displayed snow brothers but had circus and tank "
Sir main mumbai ja raha hun....aapke ghar ke pas jarur jaubga,"sir, i am going to mumbai, will definitely go near your house"
honestey is best policy .  sab ke liye,"honesty is best policy, for all"
@twinitisha aur aap jaha hoti hai.. Log crazy ho jate hai ,"@twinitisha and wherever you are, people get crazy"
@someUSER perron ?  really ?  gagner is no comparison .  perron=1st liner gagner=3rd liner .  one 8 pt game and people forget that he is a bum ?  ?  ?  ?,@someUSER perron?  really?  gagner is no comparison .  perron=1st liner gagner=3rd liner .  one 8 point game and people forget that he is a bum ?  ?  ?  ?
@roshd City to sabki same hi hai. Obesity.,@roshd city is same for all. obesity.
Hum to bolte hain #GST aur #Demonetisation ko roll-back karo. Bharat mein zyada  se zyada  anpadh log hain ye koi inka ATM Paytm samajh mein nahi aa raha: who is responsible @laluprasadrjd,"i say we should rollback #GST and #Demonetisation. india has mostly illeterate people, no one is understanding atmpaytm: who is responsible @laluprasadrjd"
"Reporter: Sir daroo peene ka sahi tareeka kya hai ?
Kejriwal: Small milate jao.. Large banate jao..pic.twitter.com/TwjdUrJHXA","Reporter: sir what is the correct way to drink alochol ?
Kejriwal: start mixing small, keep making large..pic.twitter.com/TwjdUrJHXA"
ab line par aaya he anna .  .  .,now anna is on the line
Mehnat kiya hai bhai #RESPECT,he has done hard work #RESPECT
@HathwalaThakur iss bar to Rabies ne kuch kiya bhi nahi.. Zabardasti apne oopar le rahi hai.. Oh wait.. ,@HathwalaThakur this time rabies did not do anything.. forcefully taking it on herself..oh wait.. 
ladkiya 3rd stage pe .  .  .  .  . hahahha,girls on 3rd stage .. hahahha
@GaurangJB wahi to bol raha hu,@GaurangJB that is what i am saying
CHAAR BAJ GAYE... AUR CHAAR BACH GAYE !!,its four in the clock...and four are left!!
i heard same haal h tumhare :d,i heard you are like the same :d
@NotThatMP Aap bhi aa gaye sir? Daantewada se? Itni daant mat maaro. @raggedtag,@NotThatMP you also have come sir? from Daantewada ? do not scold so much. @raggedtag
"guddu tere school ki chutti ,  jab tak world cup chalega ;-)","guddu there is holiday in your school, till the worldcup is going on ;-)"
@Kuumarrajesh haan maine hi inke liye likha tha,@Kuumarrajesh yes i had only written it for them
@Ra_Bies Poori duniya hilaayenge ye log.,@Ra_Bies these people will shake the whole world.
"@lack_a_daisy yaar, chhod tu","@lack_a_daisy friend, you leave it"
@PrachiSharma707 aisa kya hogaya? Main hu na,@PrachiSharma707 what happened as such? i am here
2-4 ko to Nehra ji apni smile se hi out kar denge.,nehra ji will bowl out 2-4 just using his smile.
aap Sonam Kapoor ki movie dekho. :),you should watch movie of sonam kapoor. :)
@premlata_rai kya samajhna hai tujhe? Bata.,@premlata_rai what do you want to understand? tell me.
le bhai reply bhi kar diya :),"take it brother, i have replied also :)"
"apna kaam banta, uske baad kaun sunta?","our work gets done, who listens after that?"
#IshratJahan ye sabko pahle se hi maloom tha #TripleTalaq is not last lets wait till 2019 avhi kya kya hota hai.,#IshratJahan everyone onw knew earlier as well #TripleTalaq is not last lets wait till 2019 what else can happen now.
Congrats @UnSubtleDesi.. Aaj tumne naam roshan kar diya bhakts ka,Congrats @UnSubtleDesi.. today you made the devotees proud
Koun bolhata hai Saadi nahi hogi ..meri aur Salman ki saadi hogi 2016 ..October ..first week :) :),who told you marriage will not happen.. i and salman will marry in 2016.. october..first week :) :)
haha .  .  .  guddu u r busted ) baithe rahiyo uthnaa nahi :v,"haha... guddu you are busted, stay put do not get up :v"
@runjhunmehrotra India ki 50% ladkiya wanna be hai aajkal  @Insane_chorri @ZoomTV,@runjhunmehrotra india’s 50% girls wanna be high these days  @Insane_chorri @ZoomTV
abki bar bjp  .  .  .  last bar congress hari thi,this time bjp...last time congress got defeated
"""Ye dekho dosto.. Aise karte hai snapchat..""pic.twitter.com/4XQdi56ySp","""look at this friends.. this is how to use snapchat..""pic.twitter.com/4XQdi56ySp"
@PunsNProses iPhone 4 main nahi ayega. Naya wala le le bhai,"@PunsNProses will not come in iphone 4, take the new one brother"
@nikky283 aashirwad ke liye shukriya.,@nikky283 thank you for the blessings.
RT @ShraddhaKapoor : Abhi toh humne start kiya hai ! Presenting the #BaaghiPoster . @iTigerShroff @BaaghiOffical @ngemovies @UTVfilms ❤️ https : …,RT @ShraddhaKapoor : we are just getting started now! Presenting the #BaaghiPoster . @iTigerShroff @BaaghiOffical @ngemovies @UTVfilms https:
"Naye zamaane ke logon ki tarah hai Indian Railways, kisi ko apni raah par nahi chalna.","indian railways is like the new age person, no one wants to walk on their own path."
#MotabhaiJaiAmitShahjee k paas itne paise kahan se aye ? #Trump ne bheje kya ???,where did #MotabhaiJaiAmitShahjee get this much money from? did #Trump send it ???
Gujarat ne Kejriwal ka kya bigaada hai?https://twitter.com/ZeeNews/status/764133383857246208 …,what has gujarat done bad to kejriwal?https://twitter.com/ZeeNews/status/764133383857246208 …
@AndColorPockeT sath me hain:),@AndColorPockeT it is together:)
embarrassing .  rams cut alexander .  yes i know he's from mizzou .  but c'mon .  chiefs d makes unknowns look like pro bowlers .,embarrassing .  rams cut alexander .  yes i know he's from mizzou .  but c’mon .  chiefs do makes unknowns look like pro bowlers .
anna ji .  .  .  .  lok sabha chunav mein varanasi wala episode bhul gaye .  .  .   !  !  !  !,anna ji ... have you forgotten about the varanasi episode of lok sabha elections!!!
"Hum jahan khade hote hain, bas khade hi reh jaate hain.","wherever i stand, i keep standing."
"""Agle janam mohe Pakistani hi keejo"" - Rega Jha",next birth i want to be a pakistani - regha jha  
iska jawab agar aap usse hi puchoge to better rahega  .  .,it will be better if you ask this question to him.
fifa is weird sometimes: you may remember the fifa 12 video where andy carroll starting trying to hump iker casi .  .  .  http/URL,fifa is weird sometimes: you may remember the fifa 12 video where andy carroll tried to hump iker casi. http/URL
Isko sabse jyada gaaliya padegi aaj  https://twitter.com/hvgoenka/status/850047751979139072 â€,that person will hear the most abuses today https://twitter.com/hvgoenka/status/850047751979139072
@WatDaDuck_ Jeevan to chalta rahega.. Saathi milte bichadte rahenge.. Bas yaadein reh jaengi !!,@WatDaDuck_ life will go on. companions will be lost. only memories will be left!
"Bhabhi ka phone tha, poora ek mahine ke liye maayke ja rahi hainpic.twitter.com/KWG1fuWdJL","sister-in-law's phone, she is going to her home for a whole month pic.twitter.com/KWG1fuWdJL"
@i_Arhaan plan to kal ka hai,@i_Arhaan plan is of tomorrow
@satankinani phir jooton se keh do ki wo saaf rahen varna aapke haseen paon maile ho jayenge. humein manzoor nahi.,@satankinani again tell the the shoes to be clean otherwise your beautiful feet will become dirty. I don't give its permission.
@kitAnurag LSD poori maar liye ya thodi bachi hai?,@kitAnurag you have used all the LSD or some is left?
i agree  .  .  the system is inefficient and relentlessly playing with students careers,i agree.the system is inefficient and relentlessly playing with students careers
monday at town ballroom: richie hawtin with loco dice .  dude is so awesome .  tix still avail at http/URL http/URL,monday at town ballroom: richie hawtin with loco dice. dude is so awesome. tickets are still available at http/URL http/URL
@jdshastri26 dil ko khush rakhne ko ghalib ye khayal achha hai :D @baawraman @dillidurast,"@jdshastri26 To keep your heart happy, ghalib this thought is good. @baawraman @dillidurast"
@Alllahdin yaar thoda late bul yaar 7 baje kaun uth ta hai?:,@Alladdin speak sometime later friend who wakes up at 7?
@runjhunmehrotra mark dikh raha hai,@runjhunmehrotra mark can be seen.
RT @itss_vaibhav : parents : Apna boriya bistar sambhalo aur nikal jao ghar se !! She : https://t.co/XtPZ3SpuJU,rt @itss_vaibhav: parents: Take your luggage and get out of the house! She: https://t.co/XtPZ3SpuJU
@Riskiest_Poison bhai audi itne me nahi aati,@Riskiest_Poison brother audi doesn't come in that much
ye kya hai bhai??,"what is this, brother?"
@Babu_Bhaiyaa awesome Babu bhaiyaa @TimesNow,@Babu_Bhaiyaa awesome Babu brother @TimesNow
"haha i have done exactly the same several times .  at recess the sweater used to tie around our waist ,  making we kids a little cool .  nostalgia .  . :d","haha i have done exactly the same several times. at recess the sweater used to tie around our waist, making us kids a little cool. nostalgia."
"RT @Silent_dreamSs : Yaad kar ke aur bhi takLeef h0ti hai . ' , ~_~ Dear ~_~ ! Aata w0hi hai paper mein jo hum ch0rr dety hain ;( :",RT @Silent_dreamSs: Remembering it makes it more difficult. Dear only those parts in come paper which we leave
nazdeek kahin hota to khud mangwa leta!,if i would have been near then i would have ordered myself
@amitkumar3649 aapiyo ka mansik santulan hota hi nahi  @Vidyut,@amitkumar3649 sinners don't have mental balance @Vidyut
Sahu ki to nikal padi .... faaltu mein rota rehta tha .... Ranjan Sahu prakash daalo is mamle per ...,sahu is on the roll. he lamented unnecessarily. ranjan sahu put some light on this matter.
guddu .  .  !  !  !  :d tu toh lucky hai re bhut .  . :v :d,guddu! you are too lucky!
"@imcomplicated__ kya kya jatan karte hai, tumhe kya pata?","what deeds we do, you don't know?"
"AAP has made the whole of delhi a drama stage, yahan kaam kam nautanki zyada chal rahi hai.","aap has made the whole of delhi a drama stage, here drama is more than work"
Sir uttrakhand se hai ! Yaha ke fans ko apka intezaar karna padta hai ! Plz come once to nanital !,sir is from uttarakhand! fans of this place have to wait for you! please come once to nanital
@tweeting_pal wohi soch raha tha.,@tweeting_pal i was thinking that only.
@Bhagwaa sarkari school me bhai,@Bhagwaa in government school brother.
".@SRKswarrior1 bas bata raha hu intolerance kya hota hai.. Yaha kama kha rahe hai aaraam se usme bhi chain nahi..

Baki tu samajdaar hai",@SRKswarrior1 i am just telling you what intolerance is. you work and live here but then also you don't have mental peace. rest you are sensible.
@ttrinadasgupta ye toh galat baat hogayi, @ttrinadasgupta this is wrong.
Salman bhai still waiting 3:30 baj gaye hai,"salman brother is still waiting, the time is 3:30"
"proud of aishwarya's french honour: big b: mumbai ,  nov 2 (ians) megastar amitabh bachchan says he is proud that  .  .  .  http/URL","proud of aishwarya's french honour: big b: mumbai, november 2(ians) megastar amitabh bachchan says he is proud that . . . http/URL"
ye guddu ki tie badalti kyu rehti h ?,why does guddu's tie keep on changing?
Pakistan ki huyi fir se haar. Ab ki baar Modi sarkaar! #IndvsPak,pakistan is lost again. this time modi's government! #IndvsPak
"#216 : have you ever gone out on a terrible date and came home and thought \  ""  did i really shave my pubic hair for this\  "" ","#216: have you ever gone out on a terrible date and came home and thought ""did i really shave my pubic hair for this?"" "
@BeSharmaji aur old monk bhi. OK?,@BeSharmaji and old monk also. ok?
"Paratha time (@ Ahuja No.1 Dhabha in Murthal, Haryana) https://www.swarmapp.com/c/h0F4IVAyJWM ","paratha time (ahuja no.1 dhabha in murthal, haryana) https://www.swarmapp.com/c/h0F4IVAyJWM "
Rahul Dravid You're Our Lucky Charm :') #DDvKKR,rahul dravid you're our lucky charm. #DDvKKR
"RT @shrishtimona : Lee , Kyunki leader gya .","rt @shrishtimona: lee, because leader has gone."
@reviewero khullam khulla pyaar karenge hum dono...  @huh_watnow,@reviewero we will love each other openly. @huh_watnow
laga reh bas! Mere connvo ke beech me na aaiyo!,keep it up! just don't come in between my conversation!
Siddhu on commentary.. Ab kuch hoga.. #RRvsCSK,siddhu on commentary. now something will happen. #RRvsCSK
"@iamkits haan bhai, maja aata tha :)","@iamkits yes brother, i enjoyed it."
Just din jail jaane ka suroor chhaya hoga uss din kar lenge. Okay?,"if someday i would be passionate for going to jail, then i will do it on that day. "
"thanks garbage bin !  this is awesome !  :) look at guddu's face light up with happiness !  and mummy's too :) main to senti ho gayi ,  that is different ! ","thanks garbage bin! this is awesome! look at guddu's face light up with happiness! and mummy's too. i became emotional, that is different! "
@DefucktiveHumor ye bhi copy kar liya  @LoKarDi_RT,@DefucktiveHumor copied this too @LoKarDi_RT
@Awwwarahu sadak par dekhni to hume padegi,@Awwwarahu i would have to see on the road.
@Shahrcasm jab tak suraj chand rahega..,@Shahrcasm until there are moon and sun.
@onlynakedtruth sikh women are patakha,@onlynakedtruth sikh women are hot.
@Sidddhhii itna favorite mat kiya karo pyar hojayega,"@Sidddhhii don't favorite me so many times, or you'll love me."
Baap ke saath chai peete huwe photo nikaala? Disrespect of Islam. Ek plate fatwaa parcel please.https://twitter.com/MohammadKaif/status/892622247235653632 …,Took photo of drinking tea with my father? disrespect of islam. one plate fatwa please. https://twitter.com/MohammadKaif/status/892622247235653632
dukh to mujhe bhi ho raha hai .  .  lekin jis tarike se ye incident hua aesa article me likha hai usse hasi ruk nahi rahi .  .  :v :v,"i am also feeling sad but the way this incident happen as written in the article, i can't help my laugh."
"♫ Main koi aisa tweet maarun, ki outrage jagaun, agar tum kaho ♫ - Abhijeet","i will tweet such a thing that will create an outrage, if you say so- abhijeet"
Ye mohtarma yahi baat nange huwe bina bhi keh sakti thi.https://twitter.com/actresskavita/status/742166632542425088 …,this lady could have talked without being undressed. https://twitter.com/actresskavita/status/742166632542425088 
@drpoonam KUCH DIN TO GUJARO GUJARAT ME,@drpoonam spend some days in gujarat.
going to try &amp, watch act of valor for the 2nd time .  the part i seen are pretty bad ass
@abdullah_0mar abhi so to jaye pehle :p,@abdullah_0mar first let's sleep now.
"Maine cycle se jaa raha tha, unhe auto se aarahi thihttps://twitter.com/narendramodi/status/879910650113277952 …","i was going on cycle, she was coming on auto. https://twitter.com/narendramodi/status/879910650113277952"
@BinaKaheLunga waise hi aadha hai.. Aur kya bacha ukhade layak  @brownbrumby,@BinaKaheLunga its already half. what's left for removal @brownbrumby
"Waise Shiv ji ki anniversary bhi hai aaj, unko tribute bhi hogaya aur apne India team ke batsmen ko bhi. Bahot hi gehra tweet!","anyway's today is lord shiv's anniversary too, this would be tribute for him and our indian team's batsmen too. very deep tweet."
northern lights sale on thursday, great pedigrees all the way through the catalogue !  genomics the full packages !  view catalogue online !
Placards se yaad aaya!https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/850960146498859008 …,remembered from the placards! https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/850960146498859008
@imVkohli @sachin_rt Bapu kya mariye Ho . Sachin ki yaad Phil late ho,@imVkohli @sachin_rt what a hit sir. you reminded me of sachin.
AAP ko tweet ke alawa kuch kaam nahi hai kya ??,does aap have any other work than tweeting?
kejriwala & is team r making money in the name of aap party .  .,kejriwala and his team are making money in the name of aap party.
@White_Crimes aadhe mujhe de de,@White_Crimes give me half of it.
"@MeetUunngLee woh toh hai, magar pata zaroor lagana, maarenge zaroor uski.","@MeetUunngLee yeah that's the case, but  search it throughly, we will definetely mock him. "
@itspulptastic pehle ye bata toone EPL dekhna start kiya ya nahi? 2006 se piche pada hu,@itspulptastic tell if you have started watching english premier league or not? i am after you from 2006.
@toastingtoaster ladkiya emo kar sakti hai #WomenEmpowerment @huh_watnow,@toastingtoaster girls can do emo #WomenEmpowerment @huh_watnow
1 year since #SurgicalStrikes . Jab humne #Pakistan ko apni pahunch aur unki auqat dikhai thi . #IndianArmy wiping out terrorists in #Kashmir . twitter . com / I 7 LSsNplxQ,1 year since #SurgicalStrikes. when we showed #Pakistan our reach and their status. #IndianArmy wiping out terrorists in #Kashmir . twitter . com / I 7 LSsNplxQ
@indiantweeter sach hai ya nahi?,@indiantweeter is it true or not?
"""Yaar apne mein pee ke hi chalani thi to main apni gaadi hi le aata""
""Hahaha ye baat bhi theek hai"" #TrueStory",""" dude if you wanted to dring and drive, then i should have brought my car"" "" hahaha that's also right"" #TrueStory"
@sardanarohit kul mila kr baat male ego ki hai yha.. dunia ko,@sardanarohit its all about male ego. world is
Aaj Kejriwal milna aa raha hai.. Chai banwau ya raytapic.twitter.com/oVoUXGiLAI,today kejriwal is coming to meet me. should i order tea or raita?  
Tension leneka nehi #BHAIJAAN.,don't take tension #BHAIJAAN
"XD karyakram yahi samapt karte hai, isse pehle ki koi mahila mandal ki kaaryakarta padh kar humpar halla bole _/\_ #NariShakti","we will stop the show right here, before some worker of women's group launches an attack on us. #NariShakti"
Sri Krishna Ultimate Symbol of Love . Happy Valentine Day .... http://t.co/zCvoxUT0,Lord Krishna Ultimate Symbol of Love . Happy Valentine Day .... http://t.co/zCvoxUT0
"haha, nahi nahi. Maarenge mujhe ladkiyan","haha, no, no girls will beat me up "
@LoKarDi_RT bas tujhe aaj block kar ke saari vidambhana durr bhaga dunga,@LoKarDi_RT i will just block you today and get rid of problems.
"Kuch achha bolo, information share karo public ko nahi padi hai, Kejriwal ko chaar gaali do, poori duniya LMAO ROFL HAHA zing zing zingaat","say something nice, share some information public doesn't want it. abuse kejriwal and the whole world is like launghing my ass off, rolling on the floor laughing."
@FaaduTweets aur @Shakti_Shetty ka RT bhi,@FaaduTweets and @Shakti_Shetty 's RT also.
"@MeetUunngLee haha, ye bhi bolna paap hai bhai.","@MeetUunngLee haha, saying that also is a sin."
@santravendor @MohsinAfridi_ @ZHaider514 ha to bhai tum kuch keh rahe the sun re paki baap humesa baap hota hai,"@santravendor @MohsinAfridi_ @ZHaider514 brother you were saying something, listen pakistani father always remains a father."
bhai by god aisa hi hota tha :p,"brother by god, it happens like this only. "
Kya hoga is desh ka!,what will happen of this country!
@Sinceere_Angel maam aap zoo me aayee.. Zoo me bahar aa gayee :),@Sinceere_Angel ma'am you came to the zoo and the whole zoo has bloomed.
"jo man me aaye tweet karo, mast raho :)","whatever comes to your heart tweet it, and be happy."
EID mubarak aur hit (film)mubarak advance.,happy eid and congrats in advance for a hit film.
@Dishasatra uska faayda nahi uthaate,@Dishasatra do not use it for your own profit.
waise bhi aajkal RTs kam milte hai. Ye lehttps://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/470883264748470275 …,anyways there are less number of RTs nowadays.
@tangleddokhtar Anshika ye tumhare daant hai? :),@tangleddokhtar anshika are these your teeth?
bhai ap Hollywood movie kab kar rahe ho???,brother when are you doing hollywood movie?
@Bodhisatvaa @mihirssharma aaj tum dono bhaiyon ko ma ek saath dekhti toh kitni khush hoti,"@Bodhisatvaa @mihirssharma today if mom would have seen both of you brothers together, then she would have been so happy."
@NehaT_ aa gayi aap bhi,@NehaT_ you also came.
@TheShopoholic Kutch to Gujarat me hai ,)
@ROFLaaLa Haha! Ab uska Ratan ko Tata bolne ka waqt aagaya hai :D,@ROFLaaLa Haha! now it's time for ratan to say good bye to tata.
"@Dawoodnusrat bus office he hn , Sat thora thanda hota hay kaam k point of view say you know :)","@Dawoodnusrat we are at bus office, sat is somwhat free in point of work."
"cc Chor 

Inka ghar iss time khali rahega.. Bohot maal hai jo Dilwale dekh rahe hai.. Mera commission 20% https://twitter.com/igknightor/status/678453308726468608 …","cc chor, their will be no one at home at this time. they have a lot of money as they are watching diwale. my commission is 20%. https://twitter.com/igknightor/status/678453308726468608"
.@scotchism Chalo firse baj gayi to topic change kar diya? Kitne goalpost shift karoge bhai? Kabhi to kuch padhke aao,".@scotchism i survived today again, did topic changed? how many goalposts would you shift brother? sometimes come after reading somthing."
@huh_watnow aasmaa ke neeche.. Hum aaj apne peeche..,@huh_watnow we are behind you today below the sky
@perky_girl16 Naam mein kya rakha hai Sakshi?,@perky_girl16 what's in the name sakshi?
inse poocho maa dilli gayee thi ya CM ghar aaya tha @meetdspartan @Ankita_Shah8 @ArvindKejriwal,ask him if mom went to delhi or cm came @meetdspartan @Ankita_Shah8 @ArvindKejriwal
"#RahulGandhi ki aisi chali andhi hathi ki akho me pad gyi dhul "" hathi gira dhadam se 0 ban gya gaddha 0 gaddhe me gir gyi cycle #JaiRamji","due to storm of #RahulGandhi, dust fell in elephant's eyes, it fell down and became a donkey and cycle fell on it. #JaiRamji"
"RT @BestCM_kejriwal : @aaprohit kitne paise mai mili RT @ArvindKejriwal e "" #RahulOnLeave #RahulGandhi #WhereIsRahulGandhi",rt @BestCM_kejriwal: @aaprohit in how much did ypu get rt @ArvindKejriwal #RahulOnLeave #RahulGandhi #WhereIsRahulGandhi
Kejri bawal to kuch nahi kar sakey ... Per bhagwan ne jarur barish kara di 0 Relief from #DelhiSmog #delhipollution 0 Be prepared for Kadakey ki thand. ,-)
@lady_naarad Ye hain Vicco Turmeric ka kamaal. Navratna tel ka jadoo aur vasmol ka vaada.,"@lady_naarad this is the marvel of vicco turmeric, magic of navratna oil, and promise of vasemol."
"Inshaallah jobi hoga fer aye ga,","if allah will, anything that happens will come again."
kab admission form bat raha hai :p,when are you giving out admission forms.
"Haha, naam nahi yaad aaraha tha sponsor ka. Radio ki baat hi kuch aur hai, replacement nahi hoga.","haha, i could not remember the name of the sponsor. radio is a different thing, there is no replacement."
"Dhoni jin logo ko bahar kiya "" aaj o log commentary aur social media k jariye #Dhoni ko bahar kiya 0 #morons","the ones dhoni kicked out, today those people used commentary and social media to kick #Dhoni out. #morons"
how have i missed that today is national margarita day ?  !  ?  !  ?  kinda doesn't go with ash wednesday .  .  .  .  .,how have i missed that today is national margarita day ? kind of doesn't go with ash wednesday.
@Bheja_frai bhai koi nahi hai,@Bheja_frai dude doesn't  have it.
@MeetUunngLee @sureshpprabhu ye kya tel-chawal mangaya tha?,@MeetUunngLee @sureshpprabhu did you order oil and rice?
Arvind Kejriwal is Ichchadhari Nag.,arvind kejriwal is wishful snake.
@Dishasatra @premlata_rai @MeetUunngLee darna mujhe kyu hai? Tera dimaag chale ya na chale,@Dishasatra @premlata_rai @MeetUunngLee why would i fear? your brain runs or not
"Dard dilon ke kam ho jaate, aap gar humse paani nahi maangte.","pain in hearts would have decreased, if you wouldn't have asked me for water."
"Auraton ne kya kya nahi karaya hai mardon se, ye phir bhi theek hai.https://twitter.com/AndColorPockeT/status/900228789258657796 …","women have made men do many things, this is somewhat okay in comparision. https://twitter.com/AndColorPockeT/status/900228789258657796"
" "" @someUSER all aboard .  .  .  1st flight to hong kong then off to the uk from there .  .  #tweet_yah_later ""  enjoy"," "" @someUSER all aboard.1st flight to hong kong then off to the united kingdom from there. #tweet_yah_later ""  enjoy"
JV with major public sector companies for meeting requirements of new Railway lines : Prabhu #RailBudget2015,journal voucher with major public sector companies for meeting requirements of new lailway lines: prabhu #RailBudget2015
"Haha! ladeej log sab idhar ajab hi hote hai, cab mein ho ya jeewan mein.","haha! ladies are not normal, whethter in cab or in life."
"Please usse kutta nahi bolo he is family, his name is snooty, aur ye mera bhai hai Pankaj bada kutta kism ka insaan hai.

#Irony","please don't call him dog, he is part of family, his name is snooty, and pankaj is my brother who is a man of big dog species. #Irony"
NDA govt's redressal mechanism takes the social media route https://t.co/hoZVeSaMOu,NDA government's redressal mechanism takes the social media route https://t.co/hoZVeSaMOu
"Umr nikalti jarahi hai tumhari, dekho woh pados wale Imran ne teen baar shaadi kar li. AUR TUM?https://twitter.com/DunyaNews/status/752783713948274689 …",you are ageing. see that imran has done three marriages. and you? https://twitter.com/DunyaNews/status/752783713948274689
superb yaar  .  .  u r too good  .  . very funny  .  . match dekhte samay ye sb hota h to dimaag para bilkul guddu ki gang jaisa hi kharab ho jata h  .  . same,superb dude. you are too good.very funny.  when this happens when you are seeing a match then brain becomes imabalanced like guddu's gang. same
@mishrageee main kabhi recommend nahi karta tumko yahan aane!,@mishrageee i will never have recommended you to come here.
@nainkatary chape kya hai?,@nainkatary what is chape?
@Being_Humor Meri Bhopal me ek friend hai.. Woh Rajshree gutkha khati hai,@Being_Humor one of my friend is in Bhopal. She eats rajshree gutkha.
Ye Dhoni to pandya ko leke emotional ho raha hai !!,this dhoni's is being eomtional about pandya!
"Aww so sweet, Chalo main hi so jaata hu pehle...
isse pehle ke tumhare aur tweets padhne pade ","aww so sweet, i will sleep first so that i don't have to read any more of your tweets."
@DarrKeAage green color ki haldi  @sagarikaghose,@DarrKeAage green colored turmeric @sagarikaghose
"Tere majje ke liye main apni marau, huh? ","for your fun, why should i suffer, huh?"
Hahaa.. Badhiya joke.. Save it when Rah Sonia go to jail.. Waha bhi entertainment zaroori hai brohttps://twitter.com/JhaSanjay/status/678551322593992704 …,hahaa. good joke. save it when rahul sonia go to jail. entertainment is necessary at that time too brother. https://twitter.com/JhaSanjay/status/678551322593992704
@vichupedia uske liye paise lagte hai,@vichupedia money is needed for that.
"Akmal : Bhaijaan , take cover . Upar drone hai . Misbah : Bewakoof , wicketkeeping kar , woh Hawkeye wala camera hai . #IndvsPak @defencepk","akmal: brother, take cover. drone is above us. misbah : idiot, do wicketkeeping, that is hawkeye camera. #IndvsPak @defencepk"
@divyamisra2 @PAYBACKIndia bacho ko iPad Dene ka #PointKyaHai Point Kya Hai,@divyamisra2 @PAYBACKIndia what is the point of giving ipads to kids. #PointKyaHai
"@BolshoyBooze mujhe bhi nahi thi ye ummeed khud se, ab umar hogayi hai champu","@BolshoyBooze i also didn't expect this from myself, i am old now champ."
"@someUSER @someUSER some people go trick-or-treating but not many .  we have australia day on jan 26 ,  the queen's bday ,  boxing day .  .  . ","@someUSER @someUSER some people go trick-or-treating but not many .  we have australia day on jan 26 ,  the queen's birthday,  boxing day. "
"Tu hai ki nahi?'

[Missing Maggi]",you are there are not? [missing maggi]
bhai mey aap ke saath hoon.....app ko shadi nahi karni mat kijiye.....jai jawan,"dude i am with you, if you don't want to marry then don't do it. hail the youth"
"it's now or never ,  ita now or never !  that is why he is the best of his kind .  may not play for us but hats off to ray lewis 52 #thegreatest","it's now or never, its now or never! that is why he is the best of his kind. may not play for us but hats off to ray lewis 52 #thegreatest"
"haan .  .  .  .  our kal last date hai ""  ""  .  .  .  . very true  .  .  .  i have two children and this is daily drama .  .  . ",yes. tomorrow is last date. very true. i have two children and this is daily drama 
Itne aansoo laate kahan se ho bhai?,where do you bring so much taers from?
@akshaykanitkar Kya baat Mamu.. Badhai !!,@akshaykanitkar wow uncle. congrats!
Lol.. Vote against ABVP ?? Haan waise bhi Rahul Gandhi k naam par koi vote to dega nahi https://twitter.com/HasibaAmin/status/640769622971539456 …,laugh out loud .vote against abvp? anyways no one is coming to vote in name of rahul gandhi. 
@RoflGandhi_ hahaha sikhenge kab bhai.,@RoflGandhi_ when will we learn dude.
@BhayanakPuppy haha! usmein bhi baadshah behtareen hai!,@BhayanakPuppy haha! badshah is good in that too.
@JokesDostiEtc Its the later .. Sochenge tumhein pyar karen ke nahi ..,@JokesDostiEtc its the later. i will think whether to love you or not.
"Abhi bhi wohi kehkar pukaarte hai, magar pyar se.",Till now i am called that only but with love.
Bhai @Alllahdin tu @SrBachchan se lamba hai!,Brother @Alladin you are taller than @SrBachchan
Sober ka phal weekend hota hai.,Sober's fruit is weekend
@Miss_Ankiita Koi bacha hai iss duniya me jisse Ankoo tune flirt nahi kiya ?? @DiwakarKothari_ @divyangana,@Miss_Ankiita is anyone left in this world that Ankoo haven't flirted with? @DiwakarKothari_ @divyangana
"#LandAcquisitionBill ye bas Robert Vadra ke Bhumi_Adhigrahan ke liye hi bana hai , uske baad ordinance withdraw kar legi Govt .","#LandAcquisitionBill this is only made for acquisition of robert vadra's land, after that government wiil withdraw the ordinance ."
@narendramodi @arunjaitley agr aap logo ne sirf nil ki GSTR1 file ki hoti na to aap khud smj jate gst kitna good and simple h. Disaster #gst,"@narendramodi @arunjaitley if you would have filed GSTR1, then you would have understand how much good and simple gst is."
@witchybitchygal lol.. Sahi me zyada hi gayee hai @dhaval241086 @Atheist_Krishna,@witchybitchygal laugh out loud. really its more than enough @dhaval241086 @Atheist_Krishna
Hum log Jarur dekhenge aapka movie..,we will definitely watch your movie.
maar se bachne ki jarurat ne guddu ko bhi acting sikha di .  .  .,fear of thrashing taught guddu acting.
"Kitne hi Honey Singh aur Badshah kyu na aa jayen, disco me asli rang tabhi jamta hai jab ""saat samandar paar.."" play hota hai.","as many honey singh or badshah can come but real fun disco only starts when ''saat samandar paar"" is played."
"@someUSER we have melbourne cup ,  woop thats a fab horse racing day &amp; we have christmas ,  easter ,  good friday ,  australia day ,  idk heaps haha","@someUSER we have melbourne cup, woop thats a fab horse racing day and we have christmas, easter, good friday, australia day, i don't know heaps haha."
Bumrah dono wicketo ke beech Gumrah ho gaya.,bumrah got lost between the two wickets 
@richazjoy neend hi nahi aa rahi. Kya karu,@richazjoy i am not able to sleep. what should i do?
"Subah se 3:30 ka wait kar rahe hai, aapne 4pm bhi ho gaye.. Ab toh aa jao aap plz plz","from morning we are waiting for 3:30pm, its 4pm now. please come now."
Kya karke jaoge. Aap,what will you do?
@SocialBitterfly kab tak wo statues ki yaad dilati rahegi! THAT'S SO 2013,@SocialBitterfly until when will you keep reminding of those statues! that's so 2013.
LOL! Afwaahon par vishwas na rakho! @Ra_Bies bas aaj narangi chadhaunga,laugh out loud! don't believe on rumors! @Ra_Bies only today i will offer orange.
Inhone sabko khud ki tarah bikau samajh rakha hai.https://twitter.com/AMadumoole/status/740857315243532288 …,they think that all people are salable like themselves. https://twitter.com/AMadumoole/status/740857315243532288
guddu ki mummy ne apne adrak mirchi k chakkar m indian team ka top order out karwa diya .  .  .  .,guddu's mom took out the top order of the indian team for her turmeric and chilli.
"@BabaFirki yaar, Debu naam zyada achha lagta :'(","@BabaFirki dude, Debu is name sounds better."
ajab hai bhai. Matlab apni maiyya ko beech mein laaye bina inka kaam nahi hota. @KalTakNews,what a strange thing.  his work can't be accomplished without bringing his mother in between.  @KalTakNews
RT @Jhalli_AS : Ek Maharashtriyan ghar pe mummy bhot late ane pe kya kahega ...... isolate,rt @Jhalli_AS: what will one maharashtrian say when mom comes very late to home. isolate
@chatpatidiary tumse hota kya hai ye batao?," @chatpatidiary what can be done by you, tell me?"
confessions padne m maza aye ya na aye lakin logo ke cmnts padne mai bhot maze ata hai khas ker ladkiyo k awsm yr  .  .  .  .  hehehehe :d :),i am not sure whether its funny to read confessions or not but i can say for sure that comments are funny and especially of girls. awesome dude. hehehehe
"o really ,maja ayega ,kab 4 baje ga","oh really, it would be fun when would it be 4'o clock."
"Tu ho gyi permanent kisi or ki , Tujhe chahne wale abi contractual hai .... Purely contractual ...",you now permanently belong to someone else. the ones who like you are purely contractual. 
baby ye to game hai.. kabhi upar kabhi neeche..,baby this is a game. sometimes up sometimes down.
"bas aapki khidmat mein haazir hai hum, kabhi pasand aayega toh kabhi nahi :)","i am ready in your service, sometimes you would like, sometimes you wouldn't."
"just watched  "" project x ""  for the 1st time ,  im unamazed .  .  y'all hyped it way past what it was .  . ","just watched  "" project x ""  for the 1st time, i'm unamazed. you all hyped it way past what it was."
"Kuch raste badalne honge , kuch naye raste khojne honge , I'm convinced we can deliver but we can't deliver overnight : Prabhu #RailBudget2015","some ways should be blocked, some new ways should be found. I'm convinced we can deliver but we can't deliver overnight : Prabhu #RailBudget2015"
Bam Bam Bam Om Namah Shivaya ( )-Sankirtan and Dhyan http://t.co/RrvstKP58y #bapuji #Mahashivratri,bam bam bam om namah shivaya pray and meditate http://t.co/RrvstKP58y #bapuji #Mahashivratri
"Aaj Birivali ka naam raushan karega Rohit, go mumbai cha mulga. #IndvsAus","today rohit will light the name of borivali, go mumbai's boy. #IndvsAus"
@SritikaDhar waah waah. Aadab arz hai,wow wow. great respect for you.
.@JhaSanjay tum ek no. ke _____ hopic.twitter.com/0eSDUufve3,@JhaSanjay you are number one ___ hopic.twitter.com/0eSDUufve3
"vese bhi #DeMonetisation & #gst ke bad papa ke pas paise bache the vo bhi #petrol bharvane me chale ""gae #CRACKERS kese buy kar ke denge","anyways somewhat money that was left after #DeMonetisation and #gst was spent on #petrol, how will he buy #CRACKERS."
Arvind Kejriwal when asked Ashutosh ke andar kitna lamba keeda hai?pic.twitter.com/SqgTWuIbpR,arvind kejriwal when asked what is the length of worm inside ashutosh? pic.twitter.com/SqgTWuIbpR
"</3 koi na, ghar ki kheti hai phir ugg jayegi","not to worry, its like your own crop, it will grow up once again."
best acting ever .  .  .  sabhi children ko aati hai ,)
kya bhai teri bank ne toh ghotala kar diya woh bhi 11500 crore ka .. #PNBScam,what dude your bank did a scam and that also of 11500 crore. #PNBScam
Kya number hai bike ka .... new vehicle registration style of policewalas https://t.co/dcFA2Hl3a6,what is number of you bike. new vehicle registration style of police. https://t.co/dcFA2Hl3a6
bst Of luck dear salman khan ..............<3,best of luck salman kha.
Chaan se jo toote koi sapna.. #InterviewGoneHorriblyWrongAtWillis,any dream that broke from the moon. #InterviewGoneHorriblyWrongAtWillis
@Mad_Mommy_ Gujarat me to yeh sab nahi karna padta.,@Mad_Mommy_ we don't have to do this in gujarat.
"Kahin durr jab din dhal jaaye, twitter par shayari kar ke log apni maraaye.","when the sun sets, people posts poetry on twitter and make fun of themselves"
Arry bhaiya agar hai tu dey du na proof han agar proof hai e nai tu rehne du . #SurgicalStrike @narendramodi,"brother, if i wolud have proof then only i can give it to you. #SurgicalStrike @narendramodi"
sweater to back pr lapet lete the :p,we used to tie sweater around our back.
ye cat level ka problem kyu diya hai ?  !,why this cat level problem is given?
@Ra_Bies yaha pootna mana hai,urination is not allowed here
@sahilmjain yaar main cheez hi aisi hu,@sahilmjain i am of that kind
RT @sarvjot19972 : #MSGmissionHumanity guru ji passion again help people,RT @sarvjot19972 : #MSGmissionHumanity guru's passion again helped people.
@HaramiParindey kashmir Pakistan ka hai,@HaramiParindey kashmir belongs to pakistan
@varungrover @DumLagaKeHaisha Yashraj Picchar kya baat hai bhaiya,@varungrover @DumLagaKeHaisha yashraj pictures awesome brother.
Mera yeh matlab nahi thaa naam to acha hai Salmanji yaar shaadi karlo abb tooo...:D,i did not mean that. the name's good. salman get married now.
Sirji @MahabirPhogat  aapke betiyon @BabitaPhogat @geeta_phogat ko @madversity Ms Phokat bula rahe hain,Mr. @MahabirPhogat  your daughters @BabitaPhogat @geeta_phogat are being callled ms phokat by @madversity.
maja jab aata hai jab ham period khatam hone ke bad chalk lekar aate hai .  .  .  . :-),fun comes when we bring chalk after the end of the class.
"@GabbbarSingh Karthik ke to roz ka hai, I am sure Dipika ke liye likha hai.","@GabbbarSingh its regular for karthik, i am sure its written for dipika."
"@drdheerajjain sir , konsi flop movie he ye ? @MhtRajeev","@drdheerajjain sir, which flop movie is this? @MhtRajeev"
.@Atheist_Krishna tere saath ye karna chahiye @KyaUkhaadLegapic.twitter.com/aDuATGkSTs,.@Atheist_Krishna this should be done to you @KyaUkhaadLegapic.twitter.com/aDuATGkSTs
@someUSER i think we need 3 first xi ready players in january .  that's a huge ask unless you're prepared to overpay,@someUSER i think we need 3 first xi ready players in january. that's a huge task unless you're prepared to overpay.
Joy of Mahashivratri ... Haar haar Mahadev ..,Joy of Mahashivratri. Hail Lord Mahadev.
i want jenelle to come over tomorrow .  i need someone to watch netflix and eat mac &amp, cheese with .  .
ajkal subway surfur ka tym h .  . apne tym to sega tha,today's time of subway surfur. ours was of sega.
chalk lane ke liye hamesha tyar rehte the .  . is bahane pure school ka round mar lete the .  .,we were ready to bring chalk
@narendramodi , Victory of ABVP in University of Delhi ....!!! Sign of Indian Youth towards Vision of Shri Modi ..??!!!
Sigh. Abhi tumko koi mila ya nahi?,singh. did you get that or not?
oscar lvl performance ,-)
@Insane_chorri hahaa.. Inn teeno ki biwi same to nahi  @ArvindKejriwal,@Insane_chorri hahaa.do all three of them have same wife? @ArvindKejriwal
@yadavakhilesh bahut mara sir please uchit krwahi ki jaye,@yadavakhilesh they beat me violently. sir please take right action.
2016 Nov 8 ne 1000 500 ke notes band kar diye. 2017 Nov 8 ne saansein band kar di. #Notebandi #DelhiSmog,2016 november 8 banned 1000 and 500 notes. 2017 Nov 8 choked our breathe . #Notebandi #DelhiSmog
Humari sabhayata humari pehchaan...,our civiliztion is our identity.
@VigneshRG he is thinking about the tagline ' where miracles happen ' Ab 2 baar maar chuka hai aise baar baar accha khelega to kaise chalega😑,"@VigneshRG he is thinking about the tagline ' where miracles happen ' now he has hit 2 times, if he plays well everytime how will it work"
@hitlerbai pyaar me umar kaha se aa gayee,@hitlerbai when did age came in love
ek bhi dhang ka game ni hota tha aise casette mein .  .  .,there was aboslutely no good game in those casettes.
zyada ni ho gaya yar ye  .  ?  ?  .  .  .  but thanks ab ye padhke neend toh aa gyi  .  :d ,)
@BolshoyBooze ab bata bhi de :/ @narendramodi,@BolshoyBooze just tell us @narendramodi
Parampara Pratishtha aur Anusha Shan. Sab party main a rahe hain.,parampara pratishtha aur anusha shan. all are coming to the party.
@someUSER i can meet you at sylvia park tomorrow at lunch if you wanna stay over this weekend ?  !  but i know you have vou course so lmk :),@someUSER i can meet you at sylvia park tomorrow at lunch if you wanna stay over this weekend?  !  but i know you have vou course so let me know.
"class khatm ho jaati tab aata na guddu ,  tu to pehle hi aa gaya .  .  ;-)","you should have after the class, guddu but you came before. "
@ruchikokcha Nahi yaar.. Iss baar nahi liya :( @HathwalaThakur @TheShopoholic,@ruchikokcha no dude. didn't take this time. @HathwalaThakur @TheShopoholic
@Lambar_Daar same pinch bhai.. Abhi dost ko phone lagaya hai..akela rehta hai woh.. Lunch time ke baad uske ghar jaakar dekhunga..with beer,@Lambar_Daar same pich brother. i just called my friend. he lives alone. i would go to his home after lunch time to watch it with beer.
"kuch aur lagta hai mujhe, magar tumne padhai karni chagiye. I care.",i feel something else but you should study. i care.
@toastingtoaster nahi dekh sakta. :(,@toastingtoaster i can't see. 
"@AGirlOfHerWords Headphones kaan mein bajte hain, kabhi kabhi kaan ke neeche bhi bajate hain.",@AGirlOfHerWords headphones ring in the ears and sometimes even under the ear. 
"Laskhman: Bhaiya ye LK Advani kaun hai.. Naam suna suna sa lag raha..

Ram: Arre yaar mere baju wale section me tha school hai.. Yaad aaya..","laskhman: brother, who is this lk advani.i think i have heard his name.
ram: he was in different section of my school. i remembered"
"cheaper carbon replaces silicon in solar panels: tweet washington ,  nov 1 (ians) researchers have built the first .  .  .  http/URL","cheaper carbon replaces silicon in solar panels: tweets washington,  november 1 (ians) researchers have built the first .  .  .  http/URL"
bhai tune is tweet me khud ki jagah galti se @chintskap ko mention kar diya hai.,dude in this tweet you mentioned @chintskap instead of yourself.
bhaijaan mere Questions... aap sabse jyada kise chahte ho????,"brother, my question. whom do you love the most?"
"Main maushi hu, mere paas chori ke glass hai","i am your aunt, i have stolen glasses."
@GauravXm damaad banana hai kya?,@GauravXm Do you want to make him son in law
"""yeh karun jadhav woh same hai kya jisne 300 maare the abhi"" Overheard at work","""is this karun jadhav same as the one who hit 300 recently""  overheard at work."
"Bhagwaan ka diya sab kuch hai, daulat hai shohrat hai bas sirf neend chahiye.","God has given everything, wealth and fame, just want sleep"
@Ra_Bies Beer utri nahi hai raat ki  @witchybitchygal,@Ra_Bies are you still because of the beer the previous night  @witchybitchygal
RT @pankajshuklabjp : Yesterday Memory : aapdu #Ahmedabad at Manekchawk with team #BJYM http://t.co/WtnaIpX6TI,rt @pankajshuklabjp: yesterday memory: my #Ahmedabad at manekchawk with team #BJYM http://t.co/WtnaIpX6TI
mere tv mein durdarshan channel b aata h .  .  . :-d chabad chabad,durdarshan also comes in my tv. 
mother to guddu: beta guddu khana kha lo .  .  .,mother to guddu: son eat the food.
@Shahrcasm ho gaya faisla.. Boi chor hai @DefucktiveHumor @Indain_Boi @BakwasRadio @coolfunnytshirt @KyaUkhaadLega @shubhansh1504 @Ra_Bies,@Shahrcasm decision has been made. boi is the theif @DefucktiveHumor @Indain_Boi @BakwasRadio @coolfunnytshirt @KyaUkhaadLega @shubhansh1504 @Ra_Bies
"bichara udhbilao chips laya tha usse bel diya ,  khana lane wale ko kbhi nhi marte :p","the poor udhbilao brought us chips and we beat him, don't beat the one who brings food."
hahaha LOL. Meri sardi ne phaad di hai,hahaha laugh out loud. i am in a very bad condition because of cold.
.@OfficeOfRG #HappyBdayPM wala hashtag use karta to zyada RT milte,.@OfficeOfRG if you have used  #HappyBdayPM hashtag then you would have got more RT.
@scratchysingh :'( Aise kyu kiya mere saath?,@scratchysingh: why did you do this to me.
"@Atheist_Krishna hahaa
Woman: Tum log tuchche ho
Constable: Tum ho tuchch
Woman: Tameej se baat kar.. 

LOL","@Atheist_Krishna hahaa
woman: you all are cheap
constable: you are low.
woman: talk with respect. 

laugh out loud"
@slimswamy abhi desh main ho. Koi diplomatic immunity nahi milegi. Shabdo ko tol kar bolo,@slimswamy  right now you are in the country. no one will diplomatic immunity. carefully chose your words before speaking.
"Hey Prabhu , ye sab kaise hoga : quips #SureshPrabhu #RailBudget2015","hey prabhu, how would this be done: quips #SureshPrabhu #RailBudget2015"
mey Facebook par...Twitter pe nehi...aooo na..,"i am on facebook, not on twitter. "
Aaj chhutti hai. wow,today is holiday. wow
Holi kab hai ?? Kab hai Holi ?? #HolyShitpic.twitter.com/yn3ubLPJ2F,"holi, when it is? when is holi? #HolyShitpic.twitter.com/yn3ubLPJ2F"
mujhe ek saal se bol raha tha  @Jokey_Chan,he was telling me from one year.
Aur #trump ko bolte hain ki maaro mere Indians ko ...,and #trump is told to kill our indians.
@JatinKiDuniya haha sahi me.. aaj to raat me bi garmi hai,@JatinKiDuniya haha really today's night is also hot.
"@bizzarebhide Bhide, ye saaare bhi block kar denge tumko.","@bizzarebhide bhide, they will also block you."
.@priyankac19 aaj ki maths tuition me kya padhaya ?,.@priyankac19 what was taught in today's math tuition?
@BeingReva Achcha hua aapne Rahane nahi likha ,)
@Sharanyashettyy Ye sab pehle ho chuka hai !!  @BihariTweeter @YearOfRat,@Sharanyashettyy this all has been done before!  @BihariTweeter @YearOfRat
@vikaspgoel idea aaya aur is photo ki yaad aayi. Fir dhunda gaya.,@vikaspgoel idea popped and i remembered this photo. then it was searched. 
"@vishpeele Jai BajrangBali.. Tod de dushman ki nali.. I agree with you, Hanumaan is awesome The Ultimate Mahabali #InvincibleHanumaan","@vishpeele hail bajrangbali.""Tod de dushman ki nali"".I agree with you, hanumaan is awesome the ultimate mahabali #InvincibleHanumaan"
ofcourse salman isme sochna kaisa..,ofcourse salman what to think in this.
@tweetingsourav lol.. Raat ko 11 le baad saste ho jaate hai  @IndiaFinger,@tweetingsourav laugh out loud.  @IndiaFinger
#Dhoni ko kis no par batting karni chahiye #AskTheExpert #INDvsAUS,#Dhoni should bat on which number. #AskTheExpert #INDvsAUS
"Airtel ka 4G network kam, farji network zyaada hai.",airtel's network is less 4g and more of a bogus one.
Irony ki maahttps://twitter.com/brajeshabpnews/status/806841559350149120 …,mother of irony https://twitter.com/brajeshabpnews/status/806841559350149120.
Bank Mein Paise Rakho Toh Nirav Modi Ka Darr 0 Ghar Pe Paise Rakho Toh Narendra Modi Ka Darr ! #NiravModiScam #NiravModiLoot #PNBFraud,fear of neerav modi when keeping money in bank. fear of narendra modi when keeping it at home!  #NiravModiScam #NiravModiLoot #PNBFraud
"@sultryceous haha, nahi pata hai to chhodo ","@sultryceous haha, if you don't know then leave it"
Black Suit Punjabi Video Song HD Download 2014 by Preet Harpal ft . Fateh http://t.co/zuQ8xpXttB,Black Suit Punjabi Video Song HD Download 2014 by Preet Harpal featuring Fateh http://t.co/zuQ8xpXttB
"UP vidhan sabha main #GST bill pass hone ""par @myogiadityanath ji or janta ko badhai deta hoon #GST","after passing of #GST bill in vidhan sabha of up, i congratulate @myogiadityanath and all the people. #GST"
aisa kya dekh liya subah subah?,what did you watch in the morning?
Bahut bahut zor se shukriyan!,thanks you a lot!
are bhai tumne hum hostlers ki dukhti rag me haath rakh di .  .  .  . missing famly .  .  .  :(,dude you touched the wrong nerve of us hostlers. missing family.
"""Muh latkane se kuch nahi hoga.. Mummy ko bolo Complan pilaaye..""pic.twitter.com/zABBTsCUi0","""nothing will happen from being sad. tell mom to give complan."" pic.twitter.com/zABBTsCUi0"
@HaramiParindey hahahaha bhai tu meri kitni baat mannta hai  #NewProfilePicture,@HaramiParindey haha brother you agree with me a lot. #NewProfilePicture
@someUSER @someUSER @someUSER monday is the tournament .  weight class negros .  #whoboutit,@someUSER monday is the tournament .  weight class negros. #whoboutit
@itsSSR @anky1912 awwww happy birthday ankita lokhande na kar ke Chutti li h #RahulOnLeave # @balliawalebaba @choriketweet -AD,"@itsSSR @anky1912 aw happy birthday ankita lokhande, servant has taken leave. #RahulOnLeave # @balliawalebaba @choriketweet - advertisement"
@Miss_Ankiita aur bachcho ke naam ?,@Miss_Ankiita what are name of children?
beta kisi aur ki entry hone de sab pata chal jaega  .  .  .  :p,"son let someone else enter, then we will know."
@Gurmeetramrahim ohhhh superb papa ji #MSGmissionHumanity,@Gurmeetramrahim oh superb father #MSGmissionHumanity
"@BabaFirki kuch nahi yaar, kal raat ko der se soye hai toh aaj mummy uthne bol rahi hai","@BabaFirki nothing dude, slept late yesterday night now mom is telling to wake up."
sahi he :v .  . pura same,its right. completely same.
"Paise aur fame ka khel babu bhaiya, gareeb 44 saal ka mard 23 saal wali ke liye feelings laaya, uski toh phir feminists ne bali chadhani haihttps://twitter.com/BeingRauf/status/874998301308764160 …","its game of money and fame babu, 44 years old man had feelings for 23 years old girl, he would be targeted feminists. https://twitter.com/BeingRauf/status/874998301308764160"
sir inko ek baar 25-26 ki age mai imagine karwao,sir once make them imagine in the age of 25-26.
main tumhare saath kabhi nahi kar sakta. Okay?,i can't do with you ever. okay?
"@Ares_c3108 Mujhse ek baar jo milta hai, woh phir kabhi nahi milna chahta bhai","@Ares_c3108 whomever meets me once, doesn't want to meet me again."
@ICC @cricketworldcup @BCCI @TheRealPCB india ne jeet se surat ki h .. toss jita ab match bi ... hin ki saan HIDUSTAN,"@ICC @cricketworldcup @BCCI @TheRealPCB india has started the match with win, won the toss, now  hin ki saan HIDUSTAN"
"Yaar Sammy, do chaar gaali Indian board ko bhi suna dete :P","dude sammy, you should have said something to indian board too."
"Oral triple talaq is indeed irrational. Ek talaq lene ke liye teen bar ""talaq"" bolna padta hai. How absurd.","oral triple ""talaq"" is indeed irrational. to take divorce once, you have to speak ""talaq"" thrice. houw absurd. "
"aye mutton aye mutton humko teri kasam, teri raaho mein tunday bichha jayenge.","he mutton he mutton, i swear you, i will spread tuday on your way."
@DiwakarKothari_ mein kabhi khoot nahi boltapic.twitter.com/y0uafkq96B,@DiwakarKothari_i never speak lies. pic.twitter.com/y0uafkq96B
"Koi bhi jeete, America ki to lagni hi hai. ","whomever wins, america will lose"
@DiwakarKothari_ hahaha aaj Sunday hai waise bhi,@DiwakarKothari_ hahaha anyways today is sunday
"@PrekshaJoshi @MeetUunngLee @Being_Humor Maithun planted the surang, Unglee got the phaavda, main sirf saree uthakar bhaagi","@PrekshaJoshi @MeetUunngLee @Being_Humor maithun planted the tunnel, unglee got the spade, i only ran lifting my saree."
"i have cheated in class assignments  ,  cheated in quizzes  ,  cheated in mid-sems  ,  cheated in end-sems  ,  cheated in my btp  ,  and currently cheating on my bf  .  he has no clue  . ","i have cheated in class assignments, cheated in quizzes,  cheated in mid-sems, cheated in end-sems, cheated in my bachelor thesis project, and currently cheating on my boy-friend. he has no clue. "
"@poonamkhatri ApuKalips ho ya pappu ka, in lip year sab chalta hai.","@poonamkhatri is it apu's lips or pappu's, anything works in leap year."
"@narendramodi ji , Good morning ! MahaShivratri KI badhai ho . http://t.co/hLuNUz5btQ","@narendramodi, good morning! happy mahashivaratri http://t.co/hLuNUz5btQ"
"Par #Trump ye soch ke hairaan honge ki America ne jo itane saalon main paaya #India ne sirf 70 saalon main paa liya "" Kaise ?","#Trump will be suprised to know that what america has after these many years, #India has that much after just 70 years. how?"
"managed to snag a rih test press along with the new 7 ""  .  woop .  come see them in margate this sunday",managed to snag a rih test press along with the new 7. woop. come see them in margate this sunday.
2 peg ke baad aisa har jagah hota haihttps://twitter.com/ANINewsUP/status/831787952032333824 …,"after 2 pegs, this happens everywhere.https://twitter.com/ANINewsUP/status/831787952032333824"
@Miss_Ankiita My baby.. Mein tumhe kisi aur ki hone nahi doonga @MentionTo,@Miss_Ankiita my baby. i will not let you belong to anyone else.@MentionTo
Bhaijaan kaha ho aap..##plz baat karo..## meri beti aapki bahut bari fan hay..##,bhaijaan where are you. #plx talk. my daughter is a big fan of yours.
"Tum aagaye ho Noor aagaya hai,  Nitin daaru aur Shehzaad kebab lekar aagaya hai. Cheers!","you came so radiance has come, nitin has liqour and shehzaad has brought kebab. cheers!"
RT @0__1 : #DimagSay hashtag use karne se kya hoga bhaijaan . #DimagSay se kaam bhi toh kiya karo . #SadaSexyRaho ! Oh wait ! Sorry . I was joki…,RT @0__1 : #DimagSay what will happen from using hashtag brother. #DimagSay work with that too. #SadaSexyRaho! oh wait! sorry. i was joking
@saurabhraajjain Happy Mahashivratri Saurabhraaj Sir . Stay Blessed . Hara Hara Mahadev . http://t.co/a40oFgtYE5,@saurabhraajjain happy mahashivratri saurabhraaj sir . stay blessed. Hail Lord Mahadev . http://t.co/a40oFgtYE5
Sir bhajrangi bhaijan....sabse achii film hogi.....boollywodd mein. ...I wish,"sir bajrangi bhaijan may be the best film in bollywood, i wish"
"koi kuchh bhi kar le ,  ak jitega bhai . ","whomever does whatsover, arvind kejriwal will win."
Duniya par umeed kaayam hai.,hope rests on the world.
"BJP in natural opposition to Congress ka haat aam admi ke saath , #achedin ka nara , BJP ka haat ammeron ke saath #LandAcquisitionBill","bjp in natural opposition to congress siding with aam admi party , #achedin ka nara, bjp's hands with the rich #LandAcquisitionBill"
@someUSER were doing great up until the 3rd .  .  struggling a lot .  harden and lin doing very well together .  harden w/ 31 pts .  so far .,@someUSER were doing great up until the 3rd. struggling a lot. harden and lin doing very well together. harden with 31 pts .  so far 
@imaisharya Isse accha kaal BanvPak match dekh lete .. 😂🙈,@imaisharya it would have been better if i would have watched bangladesh vs pakistan yesterday.
"Dad: Kya hoga is desh ka?
Mom: Jaa ke naha lo pahle 

","dad: what will happen to this country?
mom: go bathe, first. 
"
the new bruno mars song is wicked .  it sounds like a cross between the police and michael jackson .  i may or may not play it 14 times/day .  .  !,the new bruno mars song is wicked. it sounds like a cross between the police and michael jackson. i may or may not play it 14 times a day!
"kya baat hai, tumhare chai mein hum shehed daalenge.","wow, i will put honey in your tea."
warna teacher dhulaai karta aur fir kehta nexxttt .  .  .  .  .  :p :d,otherwise teacher would have thrased me and then would have said next.
@Vikramjit_S Koi nahi. Problem ho to Aunty virus se pooch lena.,@Vikramjit_S no problem. if you face any problems ask aunty virus.
Bhakt se bada anuyai hota hai.,a follwer is greater than a devotee. 
@InduSarabhai Nepali honge.. Gawaar,@InduSarabhai nepali may be illiterate.
"RT @areebkhurafati : Is desh me Modi Arvind Rahul ke alawa ek kisan bhi hai , uski zamin bhi hai , suicide bi hai . #SaveFarmers #WhereIsRahul","RT @areebkhurafati: in this country except modi, arvind and rahul, there is a farmer too, his land is here too, and his suicide too. #SaveFarmers #WhereIsRahul"
guddu ko india's best dramebaaz 2 k auditions me jana chaiye .  .  q guddu,guddu should go for auditions of  india's best dramebaaz 2. do you agree guddu?
@roshd Nahi to kya? Tum Gama pehelwan ko jaante ho?,@roshd if not then what? do you know wrestler gama?
aisa kya kar diya unhone?,what did they do?
@Sinceere_Angel Hahaa.. Maam ye uski ka roop hai,@Sinceere_Angel hahaa. ma'am this is also his form.
@Amit_smiling yaar sab ek hi hai,@Amit_smilling all are one freind.
@ek_samosa_dena haha! Yahan koi nahi bolta!,@ek_samosa_dena haha! no one speaks here.
Similarity between Shri Modi and Captain Dhoni is , Both Finishes the Game with SIX ...!!!
Itni khushi itni khushi 😭 . I have no idea what to do ! That's how champions play . #IndvsSA #CWC15 #MaukaMauka #BleedBlue #Respect,so happy so happy. i have no idea what to do !that's how champions play
Nehra Uncle Dismisses Damaad ji . Hum Indians Damaad Ji Se Jyada Kaam Nhi Karwaate . ,) #IndvsPak #PAKvsIND #DilSay
@DefucktiveHumor @Chootsayer @retardedwriter woh toh hai magar tujhe kyun tag kiya usne? Aur tu uth bhi gaya uska jawab dene?,@DefucktiveHumor @Chootsayer @retardedwriter why did that guy tagged you? and you also woke up to reply him?
"Tayyr,hai sllu bhaijaan",sallu bhaijaan is ready.
"nahi batana hai chalega, bas tweet maar ke bore nahi karna. Ok?","its fine if you don't want to tell, just don't tweet to bore ok?"
@someUSER there was no handshake abigayle ?  also when i come in tomorrow i expect my new schuh tee you ordered to be there .  .  .  good girl,@someUSER there was no handshake abigayle?  also when i come in tomorrow i expect my new schuh t-shirt you ordered to be there. good girl
@DefucktiveHumor jaldi se statement release kardo ki photoshop hai  @CopyWalaTweet,@DefuctiveHumor urgently release the statement that its photoshoped. @CopyWalaTweet
"tv par pehle parade dekho ,  fir tirangaa :d",watch parade on television first then the tricolor
@Themayankgarg puch liya. Nahi pata. Tujhe pata hai.?,@Themayankgarg I asked. Don't know. Do you know?
I loved the - Maksad : kisi Ko jinda Ni chhodna . #SurgicalStrikes #SurgicalStrike,i loved the mission no one should be left alive
@TinaSharmaT Yeh #IPL9 match mein maza nahi aa rah hai just boring,"@TinaSharma This IPL9 match is not enjoyable, it is just boring."
"Shaam savere teri yaadein aati hai, aake dil ko mere credit card spends ke yaad dilaati hai.","Your memories keeps coming from morning to evening, and reminds my heart of the credit card expenditure."
Koii fadaa nhii yarro .. Sabbbb fake hii,"It is all useless, mates. Everything is fake."
@Atheist_Krishna hahaa.. Cartoon porn dekhne lag gaya.. ye din aa gaye,"@Athist_Krishna Haha, Such days have come, you have started watching Cartoon porn!"
"""Han bhai helmet kaha hai tera?""
""Sir I'm Captain America""
""Bada angareji jhad riya se, andar karo saale ko!""
#IfSuperheroesWereIndian","""Yes brother, where is your helmet?"" 
""Sir, I am Captain America""
""Flaunting so much english, arrest him!""
#If SuperheroesWereIndian"
Cum-lee hogayi tere bina aa ranjhan mere.,"I have gone crazy without you, come my beloved."
@GugziiBugzii Hahahah. Ye baat bhi theek hai,@GugziiBugzii  Hahahah. This is also correct.
Ladkiyon ye tumne kya kiya.pic.twitter.com/rtOpRgllQN,Girls what have you done pic.twitter.com/rtOpRgllQN
"main aur tum, aksar un diwane haathiyon ki tarah bhidte rahte hain jo shakhon se utarkar jhumte hai *insert austria* @bhak_sala",Me and you often fight like those crazy elephants who bounce around after down from the branches *insert austria @bhak sala
Salman khan Aapko Aap ka feyn .taranam q stail ma dakhna chahta hai .,Salman Khan your fans want to see you in Tarannum style.
"mujhe nahi pata, dekhne mein achha lag raha hai bas!","I don’t know, aesthetically it is looking good!"
"kya guddu  ,  shaan k liye aadmi hu aadmi se pyaar krta hu waali feeling develop kar rha h ? ","What Guddu, are you developing being a man who loves man feeling for shaan?"
Bhai launches more stars than NASA.,Brother launches more stars than NASA.
"Normal people: Aao kabhi haveli pe

Sachin Tendulkar: Aao kabhi theatre pe","Normal people: Come sometime at the mansion.
Sachin Tendulkar: Come sometime at the theatre."
@Being_Humor kya kismet hai bhai tumhari.. Hume to ladkiya reply hi nahi karti..,"@Being_Humor How lucky you are brother, girls don’t even reply to us."
Done! @MeetUunngLee bhi piyega aaj apan ke saath!,Done! @MeetUunngLee will also drink with us!
chalk to kursi pe design banane me khatam ho jati thi :) pichwade par design dekh kar ke to mja hi aa jata tha :p,"Chalk used to finish after making designs on the chair, it was great fun to see the design on the ass."
Modi: Mitron! kahan se aate hai yeh log?https://twitter.com/ndtv/status/871391349970395140 …,Modi: Friends! Where do these people come from?https://twitter.com/ndtv/status/871391349970395140
@Ra_Bies suhani raat dhal chuki,@Ra_Bies The blissful night has slipped away.
Aaj to @raggedtag ne mention kiya  @Ra_Biespic.twitter.com/gjMOqp1u17,Today I got a mention from raggedtag @Ra_Biespic.twitter.com/gjMOqp1u17
@twinitisha arre kya hua?,What happened? @twinitisha
@AdvancedMaushi bhai bas beer ka intezam kar le,@Brother just make arrangements for some beer.
@tinabasetia maggi bhi ban gayee @Being_Humor,@tinabasteia Maggi is also ready @Being_Humor.
that time never cum back .  .  super observation admin .  . :),That time never comes back. Super observation admin.
@dashhtweets aur dosti kya hai phir?,@dashhtweets And what happens to the friendship?
@HiighBeta ladko se galti ho jaati hai,@HiighBeta Boys tend to make mistakes
strange..but bht acha kia .... realy feeling happy,"Strange, you did a great job, I am really feeling happy."
he is the best .  . ramu kaka waala dialogue best hai .  .,He is the best. Ramu kaka's dialogue is the best.
@YearOfRat @moonsez hadh hai,@YearOfRat @moonsez It's the limit
@kitAnurag DP acha hai. Pata hi nahi chal raha ki pot par betha hai,@kitAnurag Dp is good. It can't be figured out that you are sitting on a pot.
"@amrutapatki asa karu naka, he barobar naahi. Ok?","@amrutapatki Don't do this, it's not good. Ok?"
"@India_Logitech 
Me: Mom pet me dard ho raha hai
Mom: Aur karo mobile use  #MyMomsLogic","@India_Logitech
Me: Mom my stomach is aching.
Mom: Make more use of your mobile 3MyMomsLogic"
"Dear @ashutosh83b don't share any credits, it was all because of Kejriwal. Tumhare naam par ek kutta bhi vote nahi karta.","Dear @ashutosh83b Don't share any credits, it was all becuase of Kejriwal. Even a dog will not vote for your name."
bada hi shareef launda hai .  .  .  .,He is a very decent guy.
@asmashirazi ... shukar hAi kise ko to YAad hAi ... Happy nourooz ... @UmairMukhtar16,@asmashirazi Thank God that at least sombody remembers. Happy Nourooz @UmairMukhtar16
ghost rider: spirit of vengeance was a lost cause .  you had nowhere to go but up after the 1st movie .  and then you decided to dig a hole .  .  .,"Ghost rider: Spirit of vengeance was a lost cause.  You had nowhere to go but up after the 1st movie , and then you decided to dig a hole."
@nimrah307 Aisy relationships ko breakup hi hona chahy jo gudmorning aur gudnigh k mauhtaj hn :-p,@nimrah307 Such relationships which depend on Good morning and Good Night wishes deserve a break-up.
Shakal dekar bhagwaan dimaaag par compromise kar dete hai.,God compromises with brains while giving beauty.
"@espiritz_ I'm so greedy that Maa ke ghar ke raaste kabhi alag hi nahi kiye :-) Go , pamper yourself .",@espiritz_ I'm so greedy that I never divided the ways to mother's house. Go pamper yourself.
"Tubin bataaye mujhe le chal kahin.
*takes her to sharda lodge*","Take me somewhere without letting me know.
 *Takes her to Sharda Lodge*"
"@ImtiyazAzhar Why didn't uthink about this when the original inhabitants of Kashmir since centuries , were systematically targeted violently ?",@ImtiyazAzhae Why didn't you think about this when the original inhabitants of Kashmir were targetted violently since centuries?
"@someUSER it will be like sunday night in miami ,  lmfao","@someUSER It will be like Sunday night in Miami ,  lmfao."
@enlightenedme_ aansu nahi hai na?,"@enlightenedme_  There are not any tears, right?"
@akshaykanitkar Waah Anna! Saabash!,@akshaykanitkar Woah Anna! Very good!
Living on the edge- literally ! @ Club Mahindra Poovar https://t.co/ypzfCHLPiY,Living on the edge- literally ! @ Club Mahindra Poovar https://t.co/ypzfCHLPiY
"@premlata_rai tujhe bada pata hai, hain? ","@premlata_rai You know everything, is it?"
@BilquisRayeen DP me to paise wali lag rahi ho.. Phir baate slums wali kyu kar rahi ho @witchybitchygal,"@BilquisRayeen You are looking rich in the DP, then why are you talking like those in the slums? @witchybitchygal"
@Sand_In_Deed wo last waala bhai.. Jai Shree Ram wala, Brother that last one..Jai Shree Ram one
@BloodyKamina teri shaadi me aa kar tujhe hi utha ke le jaunga.. daru pilane :D,@BloodyKamina I will take you away for drinks during your marriage.
Nature's way of telling its India's day #today .. #IndvsSA Yes we will break the jinx .. #Phatake aaj phodenge ..,Nature's way of telling it's India's day #today #IndvsSA Yes we will break the jinx  #Phatake aaj phodenge .
"baki sab same game ke different versions hote the ,  , ",Everything else used to be the different version of the same game
@utterflea bas karo.. Kitni gaaliyan sun chuki ho subah se.. Pet nahi bhara kya @anilkohli54 @wallflower_ish @tweetingsourav @UnSubtleDesi,"@utterflea Enough of it. You have got so many cuss words since morning, aren't you done with them?  @anilkohli54 @wallflower_ish @tweetingsourav @UnSubtleDesi"
"@MeetUunngLee @SemperFiUnited aaye haaye, marr hi jayenge","@MeetUunngLee @SemperFiUnited Ohho, We will die "
Paytm ka zama ho chuka hai. Ab #GST ka trend chal raha hai uspar outrage karo. Samay ke sath chalo. #OneNationOneTax #GSTForNewIndia,This is Paytm's world. Let's outrage against the trending #GST. Let's move with time. #OneNationOneTax #GSTForNewIndia
Tu kisi rail si guzarti hai https://twitter.com/badechote/status/878658915705253888 …,You pass by as if some train https://twitter.com/badechote/status/878658915705253888 …
@NotSoNautankee maza aa gaya  @Sand_In_Deed,@NotSoNautankee We enjoyed a lot @Sand_In_Deed
@Being_Humor @KyaUkhaadLega ye bhi maine jaan boojkar type kiya tha,@Being_Humor @KyaUkhaadLega I typed this too knowingly.
apka koi v yojna-Plan sahi Trah se upyog nahi ho paya h.....,None of your planning has been implemented in the right manner.
"tumhe islam aur hindu hi dikhai deta hai kya "" #EVM aur #Notebandi ghotala dikhao",Do you only see Islam and Hinduism? #EVM aur #Notebandi ghotala dikhao
Sir @BarackObama Dominos ka pizza mangwa lo dinner me.. Aajkal small me bhi cheeze burst aa raha hai..,"Sir @BarackObama Order Dominos Pizza for the dinner, these days cheese burst comes in small size as well."
Kahan rahega phir sar?,"Where will you live, Sir?"
"Modi sir yeh kaunsi jagah chale gaye ho, mere se toh naam bhi sahi se nai liya ja raha...lol :-D","Modi SIr, what place have you gone to, I can't even pronounce the name. Lol "
test dene ke baad test copies rakhne ke bahane staff room mai jane ka mauka milta tha  .  .  .  :d,Keeping the test copies after the exam gave us an excuse to visit the staff room.
haan @MeetUunngLee bata de bhai,Yes @MeetUunngLee Tell brother
salute hai aisi insaaniyat ko .  .  .  .  very nice .  .  .,"Salute to this humanity, very nice."
"@Sharanyashettyy 
Ab bore ho gaye yaar... 
@BihariTweeter",@Sharanyashettyy  Now we are bored @BihariTweeter
@manangandhi777 ab tak start nahi hui,@manangandhi777 not yet started
morning me thand me kaise nahata hai guddu  .  .  ajkl to baraf nikal rhi hai nal se :p,"How do you take a bath in the morning guddu, these days ice is coming out of the tap"
did he tell wht has he done for delhi in last 8 months ?  ?  ?,Did he tell what has he done for Delhi in the last 8 months?
matlab mujhe hi kuch karna padega.,Means only I will have to do something
"woh toh hu main, magar sabko kaise pata chal gaya??","That I am, but how did everyone else came to know?"
"Yes, meri 9 to 5 job mein aaj tak aisa dekhne nahin mila :p","Yes, I didn't get a chance to see such a thing in my 9 to 5 job"
"yes, lv u sallu bhaijaan...","Yes, love you Sallu brother"
"""Har kisi ko nahi milta yahan pyar zindagi mein""

~ Shakespeare","""Everyone does not get love in the life"" -Shakespeare"
kya aap human being ko hmesha support kroge ???,Will you always support human being?
guddu ka popat hotey dekh majja aaa jata hai  .  .  .  . lv 2 see u back  .  .  . missed u laundey :p,When enjoy when Guddu is trolled. Love to see you back. Missed you boy.
@huh_watnow m not kidding.. Mujhe Sapna ki kasam ,)
"@ArvindKejriwal Somnath ji ki galti nahi hai sir, bhagna to party ke khoon me hai.","@ArvindKejriwal Somnath Sir is not at fault, escaping is in the blood of the party."
@SecularTrainee bhai to samaan kaise aayega ? Sabzi fal fruit essentials ??,"@SecularTrainee Brother how will  be the items arranged? Vegetables, fruits, essentials?"
Ab haar gaye to aaj raat neend nahi aayegi bhai. Aur thode aansu bhi aayenge.,"Now if we loose, we will not be getting any sleep tonight. And some tears will also come."
"Bohot accha hai . Aaj ki party mari taraf se , sab ko bolo utre flak se . Nice","It's very good. Today's party on my behalf, ask everyone to come down from the sky. Nice."
pilaun tujhe paaani epic expressions .  .  .  .,Let me make you drink some water. Epic expressions.
Chalo baat puri hogayi.,Let's go the talk is done.
Please sleep. @BolshoyBooze bilkul nahi badalna @Atheist_Krishna tu meme bhej bhai isko killer wala tere collection mein se!,Please sleep @BolshoyBooze Do not change even a bit. @Atheist_Krishna Brother you do send some memes from your killer collection.
un 4 games me se ek aad hi khelne layak hote aur baki hm dhundte reh jate the :-p,"Only one or two of those 4 games could be played and rest, we used to keep searching."
@Sulci_Gyri mai aaj ki baat kar raha tha,@Sulci_Gyri I was talking about today.
Sir suna hai aapki good news aane wali hai.. Badhaihttps://twitter.com/digvijaya_28/status/671118831901798400 …,"Sir, I have heard your good news is about to come. Congratulations ://twitter.com/digvijaya_28/status/671118831901798400"
Kayakalp to help in Technology Upgradation - Suresh Prabhu #RailBudget2015,Rejuvenation to help the technology upgradation - Suresh Prabhu #RailBudget2015
@Rofl_Delhite virat rohit anushka,@Rofl_Delhite Virat Rohit Anushka
Jab khud pe ayi to lets not politicise ?,When it came upon yourself then let's not politicise?
"@anitahsangwan are nahi didi, itna achha mauka hath laga hai, kam se kam 24 ghante outrage to banta hai :D","@anitahsangwan No didi, this is such a good opportunity at hand, it deserves at least 24 hour outrage."
Bhai @imVkohli ye century pe century lagakar aadat kharab kar rahe ho hamari. Fir tumhe hi problem hogi.,Brother @imVkohli You are spoiling us with your centuries on centuries. It will create problem for you only.
@VigneshKanda then rajini murugan should be at 6 ,)
Rahane ko hi captain bana do yaar.,Let's make Rahane only the captain.
"@tweeting_pal hota hai, kabhi kabhi","@tweeting_pal It happens, at times."
"@EchoOfIndia Bhai , wohi toh kiya ! Aapko audience bana liya . High profile audience business ke liye accha hai .",@EchoOfIndia Brother. That only has been done! You have been made the audience. High profile audience is good for business.
"*Clinic*
Doc: Kab se pareshani hai?
Mika: Pandhraa saal, aye ganpat chal daru la.
Doc: Ye raha pagal thaane ka address
Mika: *slap* *slap*","*Clinic*
Doc: Since when does the problem persists?
Mika:Fifteen years. Hey Ganpat, bring some beer.
Doc: This is the address of mental clinic.
Mika: *slap* *slap*"
Sir @narendramodi haath me pehni choodiya utare aur desh drohiyo ko kuch kare..,Sir @narendramodi remove the bangles from you hands and do something against anti-nationals..
@BeingSalmanKhan tum to car v nae chala rahe the,@BeingSalmanKhan You were not even driving the car.
Vote to Owaisi ko hi dogihttps://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/884738965932306433 …,You will vote for Owaisi only https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/884738965932306433
@Nomadic_Soul_ haan woh toh sahi baat hai,@Nomadic_Soul_ Yes that is the right thing.
"wh bhi theek hi hai, ab gaali dene sabko maza aata hai. :D","That is also true, now everyone enjoys abusing."
release nhi ki hain #righttoprivacy,It is not released #righttoprivacy
"exactly what i used to do !  ghr se nikalte hi sweatr cap sb bag me  ! and wapas ate tym sb pahn lia .  ammi was like :)  "" meri pyari beti ""  :v :v","Exactly what I used to do! Sweater, cap all in the bag once I step out of the home! And I used to wear it while returning. Mother was like, ""My dear daughter""."
Sir 5 din ho gaye..https://twitter.com/SanjayAzadSln/status/678623890482946048 …,Sir it's been five days. https://twitter.com/SanjayAzadSln/status/678623890482946048
kachhua sir hindi padhate hai ya english .  agar wo allrounder hai to guddu bhi allrounder hi hoga .,"Tortoise Sir teaches Hindi or English! If he is allrounder, then Guddu is also allrounder."
"Pragati marg ka karo vichar,
Kar do #LaluMuktBihar","Think of development path
Do #LaluMuktBihar"
bahut embarass karwaya hai papa ne kai baar .,Father has left me embarrassed many a times.
Come on #PVSindhu bol k .. Khud ko COOL dikhane ki koshish karre hai :P,"Come on, Speaking as #PVSindhu, they are trying to act COOL."
mujhe block kiya hai bhai.,"I have been blocked, brother."
@melotus tumko kya chahiye twitter par se? Sachha pyaar?,@melotus What do you want from Twitter? True love?
@KyaUkhaadLega @twinitisha HAHAHAHAHAAHAH yaar ye anthem ho sakta hai!,"@KyaUkhaadLega @twinitisha HAHAHAHAHAAHAH Mate, this can be an anthem."
"shuru karo Patriotic ban na "" le kar #IndVAus ka naam","Start being patriotic, by taking #IndVAus's name"
@NehaT_ A-jeeb dastaan hai yeh,@NehaT_ This is a weird tale.
#Jio after 31 st March - Achha chalta hu Duaao mei Yaad Rakhna,"#Jio after 31st March- So I take the leave, remember me in your prayers."
ultimate bhai .  .  .  .  no one can beat boys in this chapter :),Ultimate brother. No one can beat the boys in this chapter.
"Aarambh hai prachand bol maston ke jhund,
Aaj Jung ki ghadi ki tum guhaar do
#IndvsBan","The beginning is shattering
Says the hordes of heads
Today is the time of war, give a shout
#Indvsban"
Obama ke sar par ek neeli barsaati toh lagwa hi sakte the. Faltu main bheeg raha bechara.,At least a rainwear could be arrannged fpr Obama. Poor fellow is getting wet unnecessarily.
Rahul Gandhi taking a holiday ' is absurd . Chhutti toh wo log lete hain jo kaam karte hain ... #WhereIsRahul,Rahul Gandhi taking a holiday is absurd. Only those go on a leave who actually work.  #WhereIsRahul
kahan khoya hai mungerilal :d,Where are you lost Mungerilal? 
@GugziiBugzii Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ye to ji ho nahi sakta,@GugziiBugzii Ha ha ha ha ha ha This can not happen.
@BolshoyBooze haha! Hota hai ye sab. Statutory warning de dene ka saaf safai kar ke hi soyenge sab!,@BolshoyBooze haha! This happens. Giave a statutory warning and evryone will sleep ony after cleaning.
"#292 : Sometimes it's better to bunk a class and enjoy with friends , today when I look back , marks never made me laugh , but my friends and memories always do !","#292 : Sometimes it's better to bunk a class and enjoy with friends. Today when I look back , marks never made me laugh , but my friends and memories did!"
@narendramodi congratulations ! Bharat Maataa Ki Jai,@narendramodi Congratulations! All hail the Indian Goddess.
Jio mukes bhi Jio. #RelianceAGM,Live Mukesh Live. #RelianceAGM
"@BabaFirki thode aur photos bhej, ismein samajh nahi raha","@BabaFirki Send some more photos, this is not enough to understand."
@lahirip Lagta hai ki Josh apne hosh kho baitha hai @The_Lie_Lama,@lahirip Seems like passion has lost its consciousness. @The_Lie_Lama
"Sachai ki hamesha jeet hoti hai.
_/\_https://twitter.com/Favstar_Bot/status/805709656471441408 …","Truth always wins.
https://twitter.com/Favstar_Bot/status/805709656471441408"
@0Shshr sab kuch farzi..Poorey Bihar ko road pe le aayenge ye log  #NitishKaNakliVikas,@0Shshr Everything is fake. These people will bring entire Bihar to roads. #NitishKaNakliVikas
Bhai yahan 18 ghante se light nahi hai aur tum log ko #Trump ki parri hai ... Phuppo ka larka hai na tum log ka !!,"Brother there is no light since 18 hours and you guys are concerned about #Trump. He is your uncle's son, right?"
@TheDilliMirror Palika se Levis khareed ke de deta,@TheDilliMirror You should have brought her Levis from Palika.
#SakshiMaharajMovies Karan Arjun Ramesh Suresh,#SakshiMaharajMovies Karan Arjun Ramesh Suresh
"Logo ko 1cr tak bhi nayi currency mil jaati hai, par hamari salary ke liye bhi cash ki kami ho jati hai. Incredible India.","People get new currency worth Rs 1 cr, but there is no cash for our salary. Incredible India."
Bhagvan ka kam karna sub se mukya darm hai.,To do Lord's work is the main religion.
Bhai ye toh evergreen!,Brother this is evergreen.
@Arunapk57 Maam smile aur broad ho gayee hai :),@Arunapk57 Madam your smile has broadened.
"@Dishasatra kisi cheez mein 'dumb' ho, aur tum uske leader na ho aisa toh ho hi nahi sakta na ","@Dishasatra 'Dumb' in something, and you are not the leader of that, that's impossible."
"@LoKarDi_RT tumhari hi complaint deni thi, bas hogaya","@LoKarDi_RT Only your complain was remaining, almost done."
Relative : Aur kitne marks aaye tumare ?,Relative: And how much marks did you get?
@dhaval241086 sab mile hue hai ji @Insane_chorri @ROFL_India,@dhaval241086 Everyone is corrupt @Insane_chorri @ROFL_India
#333 : I have peed in the SAC swimming pool several times after realizing that a lot of swimmers do it too ...,#333 : I have peed in the SAC swimming pool several times after realizing that a lot of swimmers do it too.
"@VikrantShanbhag hahah sahi bole bhai, mera babu bada pareshan hai aaj, le joint peele","@VikrantShanbhag Hahah You said it right brother, my baby is very worried today, here get some joint."
.@kamaalrkhan bahut hi nanga aadmi hai yaar tu,.@kamaalrkhan You are such a naked person.
Janta se pooch lo @sagarikaghose,Ask the people. @sagarikaghose
"@The_Lie_Lama As in abhi Tiger baaghi nahi, woh thak gayi hai?","@The_Lie_Lama As in the Tiger has not run away, it is tired?"
"Krupya yahan gyan na baatein, apne gyan ko apne gyan mein daal de.","Please don't share wisdom here, keep your wisdom to yourself."
"Yeh Airtel wale 4G ki baat kar rahe hai, yahan Vodafone pe 3G bhi nahi aata.","These Airtel people are talking about 4G, here Vodafone is not even getting 3G"
#Trump se le kar Vin Diesel tak sab chahete hai ki #MandirWahinBanayenge #YogiRocks,From #Trump to Vin Diesel everyone wants #MandirWahinBanayenge #YogiRocks
After #MSY #DETHRONED it,After #MSY #DETHRONED it.
maine bhi kiya hai yeh ,)
Islam mein jeena bhi haraam hai.... doosre kaum ka.,"In Islam, living is also a crime for other religions."
Thoda use to kar ke dekho bhai. Sahi price laga lenge. Boni kara dohttps://twitter.com/ibnlive/status/686867821997850624 …,"Try using it a bit brother, I will make it reasonable. Help in making the first transaction. https://twitter.com/ibnlive/status/686867821997850624 "
Dhoni be like Sri Lanka ke liye to manish pandey bhi kaafi tha mujhe kyu bulaya #INDvSL #RohitSharma #PVSindhu #dhoni #sleep #cricket,"Dhoni be like Manish Pandey was enough for Sri Lanka, why was I called? #INDvSL #RohitSharma #PVSindhu #dhoni #sleep #cricket"
"Hadd hai yaar, ghar jaakar so jao. Desh ko zaroorat hai ke aap ghar se baahar na nikle.https://twitter.com/OfficeOfRG/status/694134050936766465 …","It is the limit mate, go home and sleep. Nation needs that you don't step out of your home. https://twitter.com/OfficeOfRG/status/694134050936766465"
@bhaisaabkoram kuch na kuch karke violence karte rahte hai.,@bhaisaabkoram They keep doing something to violent.
"apne ko sirf bhai wale part se matlab hai, 1 saal kaun wait kare movie ka.","We are only concerned about the part of brother, who will wait for an year for the movie?"
situation itni buri ho gayi hai ki now indian men are tagged as rapists :(,Situation has got so worse that Indian men are tagged as rapists.
aur iss saal filmfare award for best actor jata hai guddu ko .  .  .,And this year the filmfare award for best actor goes to Guddu!
saaaaaavdhan salman bhai ko bulane ka formula laaya hoon... sirf 51 rupe do or sallu bhai se baat karo.. baba ka prasaad lo.. sirf 51 rupe,"Attention! I have bought the formula to call Salman Brother. Pay Rs 51 only and talk to Sallu brother. Take the dainty of Baba, only in Rs 51."
bt mai to fail hua tha socially useful productive work me :'(,But I was got failed while doing socially productive work.
@Purba_Ray monsoon bhi shia aur sunni hote hain kya? :D,@Purba_Ray Are monsoon also Shia and Sunni?
"Sab mujhe badnaam karne ki saazish hai.
#AskAlllahdin","Everything is plotted to defame me.
@AskAllahdin"
"Great modi ji,duja koi nhi aap jaisa","Great Modiji, Nobody else is like you."
and i wonder why most of the guys here won't look at any girl in the eye  .  .  .  .,And I wonder why most of the guys here won't look at any girl in the eyes.
"luk into her eyes  .  .  hold her hands and say\  ""  baby m srry\  ""  that's gonna solve evrythin  .  . ","Look into her eyes , hold her hands and say, ""  Baby I am sorry!""  that's going to solve everything. "
and i thought i was the only one who did that .  .  .  really a good one :),"And I thought I was the only one who did that, really a good one :)"
"Pyar ne apne chungal mein bechare Rumi ko bhi lapet liya, behki behki baatein likh dihttps://twitter.com/Rumi_Quote/status/908610331387269120 …","Love has entangled Rumi into her traps, he has written crazy things. https://twitter.com/Rumi_Quote/status/908610331387269120 "
cupcakes na? Samajh gaya kya hai,Cupcakes no? Do you understand what it is?
Mehnat ki hai bhai #TakeABow,"You have worked hard, brother #TakeABow"
"ok 

Chal bhai @bhairavigoswami bye","Ok
Come Brother @@bhairavigoswami bye"
@Vanita_ok Please Follow me mam ji,@Vanita_ok Madam please follow me.
"Soon to be heard in Mumbai local trains - Dekha hai pehli baar, Saajan ki aakhon mein Modi Sarkar.","Soon to be heard in Mumbai local trains - Saw for the first time, Modi Sarkar in the eyes of beloved."
"@Integrated_me Yes ma'am, aap ko seedha bolne ki himmat nahi kar paya.   @Ra_Bies @Being_Humor","@Integrated_me Yes ma'am, Could not gather the courage to speak to you straight about it.  @Ra_Bies @Being_Humor"
@Urban_Sanyaasi kuch nahi hona bhai yaha :'( ye samajh gaya hu,@Urban_Sanyaasi Nothing will come out of this place brother. You have understood this.
kiran jiske pairon mein koi bedi nahi #AAPtoBJP,Kiran who does not have shakles in the feet #AAPtoBJP
@RusticBihari bhai tu pitwaega mujhe meri gf se,@RusticBihari Brother you will make my girlfriend hit me.
@pktutu Karta hai News ka Vyapaar #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,@pktutu Does the business of news #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar
"bhai 2 ki shaadi hogayi hai, aur do ke bachhe kahan hai uska pata nahi.",Brother two are married and children of two are somewhere unknown.
"Tension not @airvistara, inhe har achhi cheez se problem hai.https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/701757358167306240 …",Tension not @airvistara They have a problem with everything.  https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/701757358167306240 
Bhai search karo ek aadha to mil jayega.,"Brother search for it, we will find one or two."
#ThingsYouShouldntSayAfterSex Paise kitne hue ??,#ThingsYouShouldntSayAfterSex How much money?
"LOL

Sir mast joke.. Ek aur sunaohttps://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/769774766555144192 …","LOL

Sir nice joke. Tell one more https://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/769774766555144192"
Abhi woh chair thodi Khaleesi lag rahi hai. ,)
ye baat sahi boli hai!,This is the right thing that you have spoken.
chalo km se km ab to pak ke patake use ho gae honge,-)
kuch bi ho .  .  .  .  even missing those 4 games  !  !  !  !  a lots memories attached  !  !  !  !  :d,"Whatever happens, missing those 4 games! A lot of memories attached!"
@DefucktiveHumor aise raaz mat khol :(,@DefucktiveHumor Don't reveal such secrets.
@LoKarDi_RT ye dono kaun hai ?,@LoKarDi_RT Who are these two?
Sultan ne kar di chadhaayi.,Sultan raised.
Apni gali me to Sharma bhi Kohli hota hai. #IndvsWI,Sharma is also Kohli in our abuses. #IndvsWI
@mumbaiifreak Kyun mujhe topi pehna rahi ho?,@mumbaiifreak Why are you fooling me?
Arey kyu shor machaa rhe ho .. Ab Deputy CM bhi to #MannKiBaat kar sakte hai,Why are you making noise? Now Deputy CM can also do #MannKiBaat
@LOLendraSingh bhai seriously hota ya bas bolra, @LOLendraSingh Brother seriously or you are kidding?
call tumhara aane wala tha 20 saal pehle.,You were supposed to call me 20 years back.
@Integrated_me Sahi! Aur kya chahiye life mein?,@Integrated_me Great! What else is needed in the life?
jitni request dalo guddu ka no reply .  .  . abhi koi ladki kuch likhe to guddu phatak se reply denge .  .  . bahot na insafi,"How much you request Guddu, still no reply. If a girl writes something, there will be a fast reply. Very unjust."
@Fussy_Ca Bhabhi ko pranaam,@Fussy_Ca Greetings to Sister-in-law
"Desh ka YUVA jaag chuka hai, magar hangover ke saath.","Nation's youth is wide awake, but with a hangover."
lounda lakhon mein ek hain .  .  .  .,The guy is one in a million.
"""Bhagwan ke bharose mat baithiye, kya pata bhagwan hamare bharose baitha ho."" - Manjhi proving that faith in fact, cannot move mountains","""Do not be dependent on God, what if God is dependent on us."" - Manjhi proving that faith in fact, cannot move mountains."
BKL meri pic nahi hai ye.. Zyada khush mat ho,BKL this is not my picture. Don't be too happy.
Lol! Ye kya hai?!,Lol! What is this?!
@BinaKaheLunga @Nirmalogy aur launde lekar aao yeh @DiaQuery aise nahi manega,@BinaKaheLunga @Nirmalogy Bring some more boys. @DiaQuery He won't understand this way.
"Badnaam kare bina khabar

 #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar","Defames without information

 #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar


"
Ab to Gold hi chahiye!,Now I want only Gold!
@twinitisha kya baat hai :),@twinitisha Wow
"@KShisodia OK, pyar dosti hai. Agar woh meri achhi dost nahi ho sakti toh pyar kaise ho sakta hai and all that jazz. Ok? :-*","@KShisodia Ok, love is freindship. If she can't be my good freind, how can she be my love and all that jazz. Ok?"
khaane ki baat ho rahi hai kya yaha?,Are you talking about food here?
"yahan log khoya pyar dhundne mein lage hai, tumhe khoye book ki padi hai? Where is tolerance?",Here people are looking for their lost love and you are concerned with your lost book? Where is the tolerance?
jai ho hinglish mata ki .  .  .  :d,All hail the Goddess Hinglish!
"@SritikaDhar Waah! Achhi lagi Mann ki awaaz tumhari, thoda aur kuch sunao!?","@SritikaDhar Wow! I liked your voice of heart, make me listen some more!?"
@Ojasism try Jaatiwaad ,)
2 Lakh logo ko subah se block kar chuki hai @MasalaBaipic.twitter.com/BgE2oGgjH6,She has blocked 2 lakh people since morning.  @MasalaBaipic.twitter.com/BgE2oGgjH6
@LoKarDi_RT arre teri shaadi hogayi thi na. Tu wapas kyu aagayi?,"@LoKarDi_RT Hey you got married, right? Why have you come back?"
@gujarati_chori WHAAAAAT ? Kidhar thi tu naajuk kali ?,@gujarati_chori WHAT? Where were you fragile girl?
@clued_up_chic seedhe bolo na aapko hamari yaad aa rahi hai,@clued_up_chic  Tell me straight to my face that you miss me.
creativity  .  .  . crime but salute,Creativity. Crime but salute!
So much burn that logic ka fuse bhi udd gaya.https://twitter.com/EllenBarryNYT/status/791836788771786752 …,So much that even logic's fuse blew. https://twitter.com/EllenBarryNYT/status/791836788771786752 
@vikaspgoel @GappistanRadio Sir Mumbai ka niyam hai. Time se niklo warna jeevan traffic main nikal jayega.,"@vikaspgoel @GappistanRadio Sir, it is Mumbai's rule. Step out on time, else, you will be spending your life in the traffic."
Ab batao kaunse dharm ko dikkat hai Yoga sehttps://twitter.com/News18Hindi/status/611882519265329152 …,Now tell me which religion objects Yoga? https://twitter.com/News18Hindi/status/611882519265329152 
"Ahmad Din mein sapne dekhna chhod do
https://twitter.com/ahmaddinshareef/status/809366595919376384 …","Ahmad stop dreaming in the day.
https://twitter.com/ahmaddinshareef/status/809366595919376384"
@adrashyababa Baba tumhari TL dekhi maine.. Twitter ki saari ladkiyo se flirt kar rakha hai aapne  @abhishekprsnl,@adrashyababa Baba I saw your timeline. You have had flirt with all the girls of Twitter @abhishekprsnl
Mustafizur Rahman is an another level bowler . He is in the league of McGrath & Akram . #LegendInMaking #NZvsBan #IndvsAus,Mustafizur Rahman is an another level bowler. He is in the league of McGrath & Akram. #LegendInMaking #NZvsBan #IndvsAus
"#270 : I need some IITian frnds , I don't mind boys or girls . If interested add me at this email ID : kaaqib@yahoo.in","#270 : I need some IITian freinds , I don't mind boys or girls . If interested add me at this email ID : kaaqib@yahoo.in"
"@Being_Humor @Ra_Bies aajkal truck driver bhi nahi leke jaate,pehle dhandaa achha tha","@Being_Humor @Ra_Bies Tese days, even truck drivers do not carry. Business was good earlier."
Nahaate nahi ho kya?,Don't you take a bath?
guddu ke father sahab hollywood movies bohot dekhte hain .  :p,Guddu's father watches a lot of Hollywood movies.
"Haan ye sach hai, unse na hoga tum jaisa anti-national aur communal hona.https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/857544106045841410 …",Yes this is true. They are not able to be anti-national and communal like us. https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/857544106045841410
@LoKarloUnfollow jaane nahi denge tujhe.....,@LoKarloUnfollow We won't let you go.
@Champ_Nikk tut gaya lalu aur Nitish ka Ahankaar #GoodByeNitishKumar,@Champ_Nikk Lalu and Nitesh's pride has broken. #GoodByeNitishKumar
bhai 3.30 baj gaye hain...,Brother it is already 3:30.
@TanuLuvShreya @HudaKhan_ @Wajiha_SG meri hi pic hai,@TanuLuvShreya @HudaKhan_ @Wajiha_SG It's my picture only.
Bhai shaadi mubarak !!,Brother Congratulations on your marriage!
its a great satire on today's education system of india .  .  .,It's a great satire on today's education system of India.
Jo ladai me saath tha.. Ab se RT bhi usi ko milegi #JanhitMeJaari,"Only those who supported in the fight, will get the RT #JanhitMeJaari"
"Marr gaye lagta hai, chalo theek hi hai ",Seems like he is dead. That is okay.
@Ra_Ts0624 pata nahi. Mene block maar diya,@Ra_Ts0624 I don't know. I have blocked.
@MehakTweets_ kuch nhi hoga jaagne se .. its too late 😝,"@MehakTweets_ Nothing will happen even if you go, it is too late."
@Humor_Donor lagta hai tum par bhi ek hashtag chalana padega :D,@Humor_Donor Seems like there is a need for a hashtag for you.
"Working on a Sunday, chand rupye kamaane ke liye insaan apni khushiyon ka bhi sauda kar leta hai.","Working on a Sunday, to earn a few pennies, people compromise with thier happiness."
ye apni kahni suna rha h aur bna kisi aur ki di . . . huuuu jhuta kahin ka,he is telling his own story and has given it to someone else. a liar!
"@someUSER not with unlv , but my first game for team nevada is november 9th , as long as california doesn't cancel . ","@someUSER not with unlversity , but my first game for team nevada is on november 9th , as long as california doesn't cancel ."
aise hi chalta hai inka dukaan.,their shop works like this only
Champu tum achhe patrakar ban sakte ho :D,champu you could have become a journalist
@ek_samosa_dena ye sekh ye dekh saale,"@ek_samosa_dena see this, see this moron!"
"@Sharanyashettyy 
Fish chicken ghoda haathi
Sharanya khati saare jaanwar jee bhar #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar
@BihariTweeter",@Sharanyashettyy fish chicken horse elephant sharanya eats all animals @BihariTweeter
Bhoot se zyada dar to Monday se lagta hai.,monday is more scarier than a ghost
hahahhah . . . . . sahi hai . . . jab bhi staff room ke samne se gujrte the to samose ki hi khusbu ati thi . . . .,haha...it is correct...whenever i pass through the staff room i can smell samosa 
"there is only one god , and his name is work . and there is only one thing we say to work : \ "" not today","there is only one god, and his name is work. and there is only one thing we say to work"
#ERROR!,#ERROR!
lucknow mein sahi mein jain book depot hi jaata hai :d :d,jain book depot goes to lucknow really
Pakistan waley aaj bhi phatakey nahi phor paengay ???,pakistanis won't we able to use firecrackers today
Gujjus say 'Doku dhunavu chhu',"gujjus say, ""head over"""
@abhi_bol bhai porn kam dekha kar,"@abhi_bol brother, please watch less porn"
"rare , 300kg meteorite discovered in poland , biggest in eastern europe and may provide clues about earth's core: http/URL","rare 300kg meteorite discovered in poland ,biggest in eastern europe and may provide clues about earth's core"
@YouTube ye kya dikha diya? Shraap chadega tum par,@YouTube what did you show me? you will get a curse 
Aane wali generations ko hum keh sakte hain humne unke liye #Demonetization n #GST jaisi cheezon ko jhela..,we would be able to say to our future generations that we survived #Demonetization and #GST for them.
i'll make my bid for the adidas predator tomorrow godwilling . . .,i'll make my bid for the adidas predator tomorrow
@nima19497 abhi aaj 12 wala show dekh kar aa .. #KapoorAndSons Awesome movie babes .. #love,"@nima19497 come back after watching the 12 o'clock show rightnow.. #KapoorAndSons it is an awesome movie, babe .. #love"
@balliawalebaba hum to aapse bhi gaye guzre hai.. Moto E,@balliawalebaba we are more worse than you... moto e
"Aaj jaise gir pad kar pakistan ne innings sambhaali hai, aisa lag raha tha cricket match nahi unki desh ki economy ho. #Respect #PAKvSL","the way pakistan handled this match after a lot of struggle, it seemed as if it is not a cricket match, but thier economy. #Respect #PAKvSL"
@Evangelic_Sanzu Ni lool biscuit dalne se chay Sweet ho Jayegi 😍😂😂Isliye 😒😒😳😂,"@Evangelic_Sanzu if you dip the biscuit in tne tea, it will become sweet, that's why..."
dishonoured is awesome ! not quite sure where to rank it . journey and walking dead are one and two . i think it's 4th behind mass effect 3 .,dishonoured is awesome ! not quite sure where to rank it . journey and walking dead are first and second . i think it's fourth behind mass effect 3 .
Ab log 2 RT ke joke ke liye bhi PHD ki research karwa denge. Kya yahi hain acche dinhttps://twitter.com/DiaQuery/status/651779222164238336 …,now people will get phd research done on this joke with 2 rt. are these the good days? https://twitter.com/DiaQuery/status/651779222164238336
"Kya baat hai! Raat mein 9 baje tak aajana. Jaldi aao to zyada behtar. 
Aur yahan dekh kar khushi huwi ",what a news! come back till 9 in the night. it would be better if you could come back early. it was nice seeing you here
"@gurmeetramrahim nain milake dil chura ke chal deye more sanam , humne kha o sun lo jra chlenge sath tore hum , #blockbustermsg #mustwatchmsg","@gurmeetramrahim you left me, my love,after meeting eyes and stealing my heart, i told you that listen, i will come with you, #blockbustermsg #mustwatchmsg"
jaadugar ka jaadu . . . hatho ka kamaal h . . :p,magician's magic is slight of his hands
#wahMeraIndia yahan #DelhiPollution se logo ka jeena muskil hai kisi ne kuch nahi kiya par #Padmavati release ke against log road par nikal aayein hain,#wahMeraIndia here #DelhiPollution is making people's life hard and noone did something but people came out on road to protest against #Padmavati release
"""1 Pakistani actor aur 2 singers ka kitna? Sahi daam laga lo. Hum toh regular customer hain"" ~ Mahesh Bhatt to Raj Thakrey","""how much for one pakistani actor and 2 singers? put the right price.i am a regular customer. "" - mahesh bhatt to raj thakrey"
"#Notebandi se 50 dino main corruption wese he khatam hua hain "" jese fair & lovely se 30 dino main ladkiya Gori Ho Jaati Hai","in 50 days, corruption has reduced due to #Notebandi the same way girls became fair by using fair and lovely in 30 days."
@Atheist_Krishna Subah shaam din raat activity pellne wale promotion ki baate na hi kare to achcha hai :D,@Atheist_Krishna it is good if we do not talk about promotions that create activity in the morning and day and night 
The sweetest confession I have read so far ! :),the sweetest confession i have read so far !
@MeetUunngLee ab biwi jeb se paise nikaal legi.. To poor ho hi jaunga.. Daru to tujhe hi pilani padegi @AdvancedMaushi,"@MeetUunngLee if wife takes all the money from my pocket, I am obviously going to be poor.. you will have to get me drinks @AdvancedMaushi"
"free free . sab kuch free paane ki aas rakhne vale , bhikhari soch vale , khujlival ko hi vote de","free free those who hope to get everything free, beggar-minded, vote kejrival"
yrr koi btaega ki rechecking ka result kaise dekhu . .,can anyone tell me how to see the results of rechecking
"""Bhai Sahab ek dozen phal dena""
Kaunsa wala?
Sabar ka, suna hai meetha hota hai","""brother, can you give me a dozen fruits"" which one? patience's, i have heard that it is very sweet."
Kya @JhaSanjay hamesha Modi Modi karte rehte ho.. Kabhi Pappu ki girebaan me bhi jhanko.. Kitni badboo aati haipic.twitter.com/CuEFdC5MTj,"why @JhaSanjay do you always say modi modi..sometimes, try to glimpse into pappu's works...it smells bad pic.twitter.com/CuEFdC5MTj"
Match toh dur ki baat hai pakistan nai abhi tak toss bhi nhi jita toh match kya khak jitenge ... 😎😎😎😎proud to be indian #WorldCup2015,"the match is a far off thing, pakistan has not evev won a toss yet, how is it going to win the match. proud to be indian #WorldCup2015"
@rashmiverma aap banao to mujhe invite karna :),"@rashmiverma if you make it, invite me"
hadd hai yaar kuch gals itni dumb kyu hoti .,there should be a limit. how can some girls be so dumb? 
"Bahut hi budhumani ke sath , chaturayi ke sath bowl Kari ja rahi haiAnother one bites the dust . #IndvsPak :)","with a lot of intelligence, the bowl is being cleverly done with another one beats the dust. # IndvsPak"
kya pagalpanti hai . . . ghar se bhag jana kisi problem ka solution nahi hai . . . be brave yaar . . . aur sach bata de sabi ko .,what madness is this....running away from your home is not a solution...be brave...and tell the truth to everyone
mastarwa pagla gaya hai sala sabko fail karwaega !,"teacher has gone mad, he will fail everyone"
"""Yeh ghumna firna toh theek hai lekin future ke baare main kya socha hai?""pic.twitter.com/iJmnbGbLdG","""it's ok to roam around but have you thought of the future?"" pic.twitter.com/iJmnbGbLdG"
Kyu pados wali aunty banna hai?,do you want to become like the neighbourer?
happy eid(eid mubarak ho bajarangi bahijaan ),happy eid(eid mubarak to bajarangi bahijaan )
@indiantweeter Arrey wah! Kya baat hai Ankit.,"@indiantweeter wow! great, ankit!"
@PagluPiggu aaj @Atheist_Krishna subah se gaaliya sun raha hai @balliawalebaba,@PagluPiggu aaj @Atheist_Krishna is hearing cuss words from the morning @balliawalebaba
"@MeetUunngLee ek toh kam zindagani, usse bhi kam hai jawaani. Jab tak josh mein jawaaaneee haaah haaah haah",@MeetUunngLee we have a short life and a shorter youth than that. Till the youth is in passion haah haah haah
"haan yaar, chhod de. Maine ab seekh liya hai ke apna muh nahi kharab karte. Apne ko peeni hai shaam mein B-)","yes man, leave it. i have now learned not to spoil my mouth. have to drink in the evening "
Isko utha ke haveli par leke aaopic.twitter.com/fZ9sHrHzTf,get him up and take him to the haveli pic.twitter.com/fZ9sHrHzTf
Dil To Pagal hai jaisi ghatiya movies ke liye bhi aap paise lete ho ya free me karte ho ? #AskSrk @iamsrk,do you take money for bad movies like dil hai pagal hai or you do it for free? #AskSrk @iamsrk
@Dhoniobesessed @KohliForLife @DhonixFaithful Yesss aaj evening sab aajana😍,"@Dhoniobesessed @KohliForLife @DhonixFaithful yes, all of you come by evening today"
who else is excited to see the boys on startalk tomorrow ? ? ?,who else is excited to see the boys on startalk tomorrow ?
aap headed by a negative personality arwind fit as opposition leader . that will be nice fr delhi .,aap is headed by a negative personality arvind is fit as opposition leader . that will be nice for delhi .
Ishant Sharma ko bahut late utaara.,ishant sharma came down very late
@scratchysingh mera shraddha kapoor ke saath banao na :'(,@scratchysingh please make mine with shraddha kapoor
Brilliant ! She said it all ! Barkha Dutt Speech at The Telegraph National Debate https://t.co/rMUhkssJJn,brilliant ! she said it all ! barkha dutt speech at the telegraph national debate https://t.co/rMUhkssJJn
@BolshoyBooze yahan did chale jaate hai,@BolshoyBooze let's go did here
Star hai star. Chha gaya Guru!,star is a star. you were great guru!
"Fake currency "" aatankvad "" corruption San khatam honai wala tha #notebandi sa ? Kyo n hua ? Sawal puchna ki himmat hai sir ?","fake currency, terrorism and corruption; all were going to end by #notebandi? why didn't it end? do you have guts to ask this question, sir? "
"@nainkatary tumhari aadhi shakal ne aise philosopher bana diya hai, achha hai poori shakal nahi dekhi ab tak.","@nainkatary half of your face has made you such a philosopher, it is not good to see the whole face now."
modi ka majak to obama ne udaya tha :-d,obama made fun of modi
Agar #jio sim lene k baad bhi single ho ...,if you are single even after taking #jio sim...
This movie is KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI . #FirstBollywood https://t.co/VdCe7ePsq3,this movie is kuch kuch hota hai. #FirstBollywood https://t.co/VdCe7ePsq3
@abhijeetsinger sir agar footpath pe sona crime hai toh hair transplant bhi crime hai . #SalmanGuilty,@abhijeetsinger sir if it is crime to sleep on footpath then it is also a crime to have a hair transplant. #SalmanGuilty
ana bhi aap me samil hogeya . imandari koi nanhi sab politics me entry marke lutna chahate hai . an isme ana bhi samil hogeye .,anna also joined aap. there is no honesty left. everyone wants to earn money by entering politics...anna also joined these kind of people 
s TRUE Jo Phele Recharge Kar Chuke Hai #JIO Ka Unko Bhi 75 Rs 0 Cash Back Milega ???,"is it true that those who have had #JIO recharge done before, they will also receive 75 rs cashback?"
"other than lemon tea&amp;lemonade . coke &amp;pepsi are my 2nd favorites . as unhealthy they are , i cant/wont stop drinking them , they're just so good","other than lemon tea and lemonade, coke and pepsi are my 2nd favorites . as unhealthy they are , i can't/won't stop drinking them , they're just so good."
@dhaval241086 loha hi lohe to kaattaa hai.. Lakdi nahi @BJP4India @M_Lekhi,@dhaval241086 iron only cuts iron .. not wood @BJP4India @M_Lekhi
@Rialisticme Hai toh hai,@Rialisticme if it is then it is.
"i'll be giving 2 presentations @ the center for photographic art in carmel , ca on sat . 11/3 http/URL #photography","i'll be giving 2 presentations at the center for photographic art in carmel , california on saturday . 11/3 #photography"
kachhua sir ko daantna hi tha to guddu ko kyu bheja chalk laane ko . .,"if you had to scold kachhua sir, why did you send guddu to take the chalk ?"
@RegaJha Ugly Jha bore mat karo.. Maha bekar joke hai,@RegaJha ugly jha bore mat karo.. Maha bekar joke hai
Best acter.....salman khan,best actor.... salman khan
jo boy sex tak pahuch jae wo pyar nahi kar sakta . . .,the boys that have sex cannot love...
"Reporter: Sir Tanmay Bhatt ki kamar ka size ?
Rahul:pic.twitter.com/BT0L2mP8vb",reporter: what is the size of tanmay bhat's waist? rahul: pic.twitter.com/BT0L2mP8vb
"@Alllahdin @premlata_rai bilkul bhi nahi, majaal hai kisiko? Momo's phenk kar maaregi woh bhi Tibetian wale ","@Alllahdin @premlata_rai not at all, has anyone got guts to? she will throw momo's at us, and that too tibetian ones"
hamara bajaj . . . . . senti kar diya bhai tune purane scooter ki yaad aa gayi . . . . .,our bajaj...you made me emotional as i started remembering my old scooter
Porn hai jo sapnon mein aaya.,porn is what came in dreams
"Meri ek taang nakli hai main Hockey ka Bahut bada Khiladi tha, Ek Din meri kisi baat se Uday bhai ko gussa aaya.. Meri hi hockey stick se...","i have a fake leg. i was a very big hockey player, one day uday bhai got angry with me .. with my hockey stick ..."
@BhaiyyajiClub bohot zordaar acting hai bachchi ne.. Mein to fan ho gaya hu,@BhaiyyajiClub the girl has very strong acting skills .. i have become a fan.
Naare ki gunj ne theatres meun sachkhand le nazare dikha diye . It was ossum feeling #MustWatchMSG,the echo of the slogans raised in the theater showed me the views of sachkahnd.
@ShwetaSinghe madam ye twitter hai.. Salman Bhai ki movie nahi jo audience ki parwah kare hum :) @witchybitchygal,@Sweetsinghe madam this is twitter .. not salman bhai's movie which cares about the audience :) @witchbitchygal
@rohanbhai8055 accha tha na yar :(,"@rohanbhai8055 it was good,right"
"RT @2012_guha : @Iamharry007 @MSdhoni_7781 Yeh aap ki frustration hai bhai ! Aap ki country me jab Imran , Wasim bhai the tab aap kya fast pitch…","rt @2012_guha : @Iamharry007 @MSdhoni_7781 this is your frustration, brother ! in your country when imran, wasim used to play did you said it was fast pitch?"
"@indiantweeter @Dishasatra tu kya has raha hai be? You look like this, iss par teri aankhein aur muh laga lepic.twitter.com/zesbQcp5t3","@indiantweeter @Dishasatra what are you laughing about? you look like this, put your eyes and mouth on it"
@Lucid_Luck Kal kare so aaj kare. Aaj kare so ab.,@Lucid_Luck do it today instead of doing it tomorrow. and do do it right now if you are doing it today.
@HaPpy_WaLi_DD Tu mala vachvayla yavis mhanun. ,) Ani baher padu nakos gharachya. Vitalshil.
meri aankho me b aansu aa gye haste haste . . lol ! ! !,i also got tears while laughing...lol!
yaar itna to isme space bhi nai hota hoga . . .,man this might not have even that much space
nfl commissioner roger goodell says he may cancel the pro bowl: http/URL would you care if there was no pro bowl ?,nfl commissioner roger goodell says he may cancel the pro bowl. would you care if there was no pro bowl ?
"greeting kobe is to mainstream ! so i'll just greet jeremy lin , happy 24th birthday jlin @someUSER :))))","greeting kobe is too mainstream ! so i'll just greet jeremy lin , happy 24th birthday jlin @someUSER :))))"
@KyaUkhaadLega Didi.. pagli mujhe sirf mera doodhwala bolta hai.. Aap ke liye to me chhoti hu,@KyaUkhaadLega sister....only my milkman calls me pagli... i am youngone for you
SHIKHAR DHAWAN IS GOD! #IndvsSA,shikhar dhawan is god! #IndvsSA
Bhot sahi bhai... Bhai bhai.... :),very correct man...man
@Gurmeetramrahim thanku papa ji best wishij k liy thanku so much #MSGmissionHumanity,@Gurmeetramrahim thankyou papaji! thankyou so much for best wishes#MSGmissionHumanity
aur head sir ki burayi kaun karega . . ? ? :p,who will make fun of the head sir?
@blaZe__aXle @vigneshmvicky71 just like bhikiee .. bhinit sound accha kr raha hai kya ??? :p,@blaZe__aXle @vigneshmvicky71 just like bhikiee .. does bhinit sounds good to you?
@klpe insurance lene ke liye bhi paise lagte hai,@klpe it takes money even to buy an insurance
interview on vow fm tomorrow morning . . . do tune in and hear the kid out ! ! ! cc @someUSER @someUSER,interview on vow from tomorrow morning . . . do tune in and hear the kid out ! @someUSER @someUSER
guddu mast tarike se bahar udd k agaya .,guddu came after flying nicely outside.
thought i would try the black glasses look . . . . i may need the malcolm x joints tho' http/URL,thought i would try the black glasses look . . . . i may need the malcolm x joints though!
“ @RamgarhKaJai : Office bhi koi kaam karne ki jagah hai bhala ? ” Nahi . Tabela is better . Chalo waha chale .,@RamgarhKaJai : is office even a place to work? nope . stable is better . let's go there .
Sidhu on Abdul Qadir's Bowling Action : Hum yaha tera mujra dekhne aaye hain ? Epic ! #IndvsPak,sidhu on abdul qadir's bowling action : did we came here to see you dance? epic ! #IndvsPak
@tweeting_pal Agar tum mil jaao.. Tweeting chhod denge hum,"@tweeting_pal if i get you, i will stop tweeting "
"late halloween party next saturday &amp; going as thriller michael jackson , is it to controversial to hold a baby doll too ? ",late halloween party next saturday and i am going as thriller michael jackson. is it too controversial to hold a baby doll though ? 
"tomorrow is the last day for early voting here in nevada , if you havent already go vote ! ! dont wait til tues . to do so . . . ","tomorrow is the last day for early voting here in nevada , if you haven't already go vote ! ! dont wait till tuesday . to do so . . . "
(*_*) haaye daiyyyaa . . . . kitna koot arthaat cute hai :d :d :d,"by god's grace.....how koot, i mean cute it is..."
"@someUSER lmfao alright u got me there . good job parker and the spurs , see y'all jan 9th . if i get an extra ticket to that game ur goin","@someUSER lmfao alright u got me there . good job parker and the spurs , see you all on january 9th . if i get an extra ticket to that game, you are going"
that was absolutely brilliant . ghar ghar ka kahani . . . . :),that was absolutely brilliant... story of every home
@Lagharvaghar ahya kale pate chhe navratri,"@Lagharvaghar here, navratri ends tomorrow"
"tm loogoun se aik haar bardash nhe hoti . good to see you cry , #mokamokamthokathoka",you can't sustain even a single failure. good to see you cry #mokamokamthokathoka
"Earlier: BAAP PE MAT JANA
Now: KASHMIRIYAT KO KUCHH NAHI KEHNA","earlier: don't be like your dad
Now: don't say anything to kashmiriyat"
Haan @MaiHunSatish haan mein pyaar karta hu @witchybitchygal,"yes @MaiHunSatish, yes i am loving @witchybitchygal"
@Ojasism nahi chal raha hai ye,@Ojasism this is not working
"@hariompainter isiliye hi tujhe @twinitisha ne block kiya hoga, bahot zyada dimaag khaate ho bhai aap","@hariompainter that is why @twinitisha might have blocked you, you are very annoying"
bhai aapka koi comment nhi aaya . .,"brother, you have not commented yet."
salman sir sara din guzar gaya aap aa he nai :(,"salman sir, the day has passed and you haven't come yet"
garibon ki Angelina Jolie hai @radhika_apte,poor people's angelina jolie @radhika_apte
Aslam alekum jumma Mubarak ho sallu Darling...,"peace to you and congrats on jumma, sallu darling"
"bhai aao kabhi, mai sikhata hu :P
https://twitter.com/gautamverma23/media …","brother come sometime, i will teach you https://twitter.com/gautamverma23/media …"
@Miss_Ankiita maza hi aa jaega,@Miss_Ankiita it would be very enjoyable
frastu singh - the Biggest Supporter of Rahul Gandhi reacting on Modi becoming BJP prime-ministerial candidate http://t.co/H65r70BqXJ,frastu singh - the biggest supporter of rahul gandhi reacting on modi becoming bjp prime-ministerial candidate http://t.co/H65r70BqXJ
"2G "" coal "" CWG "" NH "" adarsh "" Jab Scam Ho rahe the Tab MMS Ji Silent the "" ager Khud Kuch kia hota Note Ban Ki Zaroorat Na hoti...","when 2g, coal, cwg, nh, adarsh scams happened mms sir were silent. if you had done something, noteban wouldn't been necessary"
"delhi kya desh ko bachayenge namo , gadhele akhbaar","namo would save not only delhi, he would save the entire country, moron newspapers"
@Lucky_Reyy yar sai baat hai kal pehli dfa teenday khaye . Bara he mza aya,@Lucky_Reyy it's true that i ate round gourds for the first time. it was super delicious
"maya rudolph performs prince songs at brooklyn bowl this thursday night 9/20 , backed by the roots ! http/URL","maya rudolph performs prince songs at brooklyn bowl this thursday night 9/20 , backed by the roots ! "
Ye kya haal banaye rakha hai? Kuch lete kyun nahi?,what have you made of yourself? why ain't you taking abything?
kitna fake journalism karoge @ndtv ?? kam se kam sports ko to chor do ya isme bhi paisa milta hai galat likne pe ?? #fraud,"how much fake journalism will you do @ndtv? atleast leave the sports section aside, or are you getting money for writing wrong news in this too? #fraud"
apne toh dono haath ghee mei hain . . papa daante toh mummy chupke se paise de deti hai aur mummy daate toh papa . . ^_^,"my both hands are in ghee. if my mother scolds me, my father gives me the money and if my father scolds me, my mother gives me the money."
bawa emotional kar diya tumne to :p,"bawa, you made us emotional."
"@coolfunnytshirt Yaar paani ki kami hai Dilli mein aise waste na karo, Kejru case thokega tum par!","@coolfunnytshirt man, there is scarcity of water in delhi. please stop wasting it. kejriwal will file a case on you."
@Barbiedawra @Rinkkyy hiii dear #MahaShivratri enjoy ur day yssss same mene bhi kaha rinkuu ne bahot din baaad tweet kiya hamko,@Barbiedawra @Rinkkyy hi dear #MahaShivratri enjoy ur day. yes i also said that rinku tweeted after a lot of days.
@singhlicious koi baat nahi :),@singhlicious no probelem
hope to c u as our cm agn :),hope to see you as our cm again
Changed the channel !! Watching Chhota Bheem in Pogo !!! #IndvsSA,changed the channel !! watching chhota bheem in pogo !!! #IndvsSA
google+ hangout with : october 27th ! 2pm pacific / 5pm eastern via #askllcoolj #llcooljhangout http/URL #kpoptv #2pm,google+ hangout with : october 27th ! 2pm pacific / 5pm eastern via #askllcoolj #llcooljhangout #kpoptv #2pm
"centre suffering from 'policy paralysis' , alleges jayalalithaa: jayalalithaa on tuesday charged the upa go . . . http/URL #news","centre suffering from 'policy paralysis' , alleges jayalalithaa: jayalalithaa on tuesday charged the upa government ... #news"
Me aapki bhut badi fen hnu sar.aap aek baar muje bhi kuch riply karna.p,"i am your big fan, sir. you have to reply to me once"
@tweetruna i iz f9 @tweetria ghar mein sab ke naam 'R' se shuru hote hai kya?,@tweetruna i am fine @tweetria does everyone's name in the house start with 'r'?
kitna inaam rakhi hai sarkaar ne hamre sar par?,how much reward has the government put on our head?
"perfect example bhai , don't know how but at these moments natural acting comes out , and important is that har baar naye bahane dimag me hote the . . . . . ! ! :p","perfect example brother , i don't know how but at these moments natural acting comes out , and important is that every time new excuses were in the mind...! "
Fitoor Official Trailer - Aditya Roy Kapur - Katrina Kaif - Tabu https://t.co/IEUVdGFvYN,fitoor official trailer - aditya roy kapur - katrina kaif - tabu https://t.co/IEUVdGFvYN
amazing concert tonight with jim white and the tcu jazz ensemble/faculty jazz combo ! don't miss tomorrow night . . . http/URL,amazing concert tonight with jim white and the tcu jazz ensemble/faculty jazz combo ! don't miss tomorrow night . . . 
"R: Mummy ghar me Bournvita khatam ho gaya hai
S: Tune iss desh se poori Congress khatam karwa di..B'vita kya chiz haipic.twitter.com/CzSIPittg5","r: mother, bournvita is not left. s:you removed congress from the whole country. what is bournvita compared to that? pic.twitter.com/CzSIPittg5"
@sagarcasm haha yahi time hai gamble ka. Ab ya to is par ya us par. League stage ke baad sabko fir se barabar subs milenge.,"@sagarcasm haha this is the time for gamble. now either this side or that side. After the league stage, everyone will get equal substitutes again."
Ye kuch chaunka dene wale aankdehttps://twitter.com/9xmHaqSe/status/664755315645112320 …,some shocking statistics https://twitter.com/9xmHaqSe/status/664755315645112320 …
"Doston... na koi manzil hai no koi thikaana
Phir bhi nikal pada hu gahr se... shayad jiski talaash hai
woh footpath pe soye ho...",friends ... there is no destination nor any place to stay. still got out of the house...maybe the one i am looking for is sleeping on the sidewalks...
Get Rishabh Pant yaarhttps://twitter.com/ESPNcricinfo/status/801269455011467264 …,get rishabh pant https://twitter.com/ESPNcricinfo/status/801269455011467264 …
"""Khush toh bahot hoge aaj tum haaye"" - Brad Pitt to Jennifer Anniston
#Brangelina","""you must be very happy today"" - brad pitt to jennifer anniston
#Brangelina"
LOL. Bhaiya paav kilo boneless farooq bhai ki biwi dena.,"lol. man, give me quarter kilo boneless wife of farooq bhai"
@BloodyKamina ek mast site hai http://muhmelele.com ,@BloodyKamina this is a great site http://muhmelele.com 
@ashkaikini kya khul gaye? kaise??,@ashkaikini what opened?how?
@iamGunjanGrunge Bhai jo tu pyaar se khilaaye,"@iamGunjanGrunge brother, if you feed me with love"
#Hariyaana Me 5 Din me 5 Rape Ho Rahe Hai Aur Iss State Ki Government Ek Kalpanik Film Ko Ban Karne Me Lagi Hui Hai .... !,in #Hariyaana 5 rapes happened in 5 days and the state government is busy in banning a fiction film !
@dhaval241086 Ye to Satya Prakash Chaubey ji hai aka DESBANDHU !! @Atheist_Krishna,@dhaval241086 he is satya prakash chaubey aka desbandhu !! @Atheist_Krishna
Dhoni aaj paaglo jaisa khela.,dhoni played madly today
@WoRahaChand Don nahi ... Saali American hoon😌😎😂😂😉,@WoRahaChand not a don....i am an american
Sir @jhasanjay ye bewafai hai. Rahul ji vacations par kya chale gaye aap unhe bhoolkar Roger-Roger karne lage.,"sir @jhasanjay this is infidelity. here rahulji went on vacations, and you forgot him and started doing roger-roger."
@UdaasPriest Matlab logon ki gandagi jab tak saath na le aaye tab tak tujhe kuch pasand nahi aayega?,"@UdaasPriest it means, you will not like anything until the dirt of the people is brought together?"
last semi finals mein mere dad same bahane se saara aam papad kha gaye . . aam papad is good luck for team :p,"in the last semi finals, my dad ate all the mango papad due to the same reason. aam papad is like a good luck for the team."
@KyaUkhaadLega @Being_Humor ladkiyon ke toh alag chochle hai yahan,@KyaUkhaadLega @Being_Humor girls have different kinds of tantrums here
i saw katie price was at the haye / chisora fight-now she's going to be @ the olympic boxing training venue on saturday - sparring ! !,"i saw katie price was at the haye / chisora fight. now she's going to be at the olympic boxing training venue on saturday ,sparring !"
"kamaal ka pic hai, daat deni padegi ","a great pic, should praise you"
le bhai tera original tweet. Ab delete kar de aur bol de maine kiya hi nahi. https://twitter.com/kamaalrkhan/status/715039750873284608 … @itsSSR,"brother, your original tweet. now delete and say i did not do it. https://twitter.com/kamaalrkhan/status/715039750873284608 … @itsSSR"
@Fussy_Ca mujhe bhi fookna hai @angryoungwoman,@Fussy_Ca even i want to blow it @angryoungwoman
@bizzarebhide bhai ye pehle ho chuka hai.,@bizzarebhide it has happened before
"RT @SriSri : You can recognize Shiva wherever there is truth , benevolence , beauty , innocence & knowledge . ( 2 ) #Mahashivratri","rt @SriSri : you can recognize shiva wherever there is truth , benevolence , beauty , innocence & knowledge .#Mahashivratri"
#JNU par lagaye gaye naye poster Kashmir ki azadi k liye. Kya is azadi brigade ki is #FreedomofSpeech ko hame bardast karna chahiye?,new posters put on #JNU to liberate kashmir. should we tolerate this #FreedomofSpeech of this freedom brigade?
"Dear Congis, Tu 13 mat dekh! Kyuki Yuvraj to dekhne layak bhi nahi :D

RT @HasibaAmin Dear Sanghis, Tu 13 dekh!","dear congis, don't you see 13! because yuvraj is not even worth watching: D 
rt @HasibaAmin dear sanghis, you watch 13!"
@balliawalebaba gati me parivartan zaroori,@balliawalebaba change required change of pace
Dekho inhe ye hai... auns ki boondein... hu hu huhttps://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/735395217306570752 …,look here they are… drops of mist…hu hu hu https://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/735395217306570752 …
@Ra_Bies 4-5 lag jaenge.. Itni huge hai,@Ra_Bies it will require 4-5...it's so large
""" @IndiaToday : #BudgetBT Printing of Budget document begins with ' Halwa ' ceremony . http://t.co/knYuyDHBul "" oye balle !",""" @IndiaToday : #BudgetBT Printing of Budget document begins with ' Halwa ' ceremony . http://t.co/knYuyDHBul "" great!"
Tum log ki izazat ho to zara naha ke aa jau ??,"if you all permit, can i come after taking a bath?"
@SwaggerBanno varieties hote hai kya pyar mein? Tumhara sada wala hai toh mujhe masala wala chahiye :-P,"@SwaggerBanno are their varieties in love? if yours is simple one, i want a spicy one :P"
Clash with Salman Khans Sultan is suicide | via @indiacom https://t.co/4Cm7nZQG8E Je baat,clash with salman khan's sultan is suicide | via @indiacom https://t.co/4Cm7nZQG8E great
Maine unke liye like kha hai :),i have said like for them
hehe guddu ki mummy b iin university ki student ho gayin lagta h . .,"hehe, it seems as if guddu's mummy also became student of iin university"
"Friday Faking Release: Ghayal (*ing Shashak Manohar, Rajiv Shukla, Anurag Thakur )http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2016/04/friday-faking-release-ghayal-ing-shashak-manohar-rajiv-shukla-anurag-thakur/ …","friday faking release: ghayal (*ing shashak manohar, rajiv shukla, anurag thakur ) http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2016/04/friday-faking-release-ghayal-ing-shashak-manohar-rajiv-shukla-anurag-thakur/ …"
@iamGunjanGrunge iski poori pic bhi hai.. ,)
agli baar wapas aaya paise mangne to yehi maa belan se bhi marti hai ! ! :d ,)
"Bhool jao #Notebandi "" bhool jao #GST aur Bhool jao Badhali kyoki aaaj hain Diwali ..Wish u all happy diwali ..","forget #Notebandi, forget #GST and forget badhali because today it is diwali....wish you all happy diwali... "
"""Mein yamraj hu..Tumhe lene aaya hu..""
SBI Employee: Abhi time kitna hua hai..
Yamraj: 2.05 PM
SBI Employee: Lunch ka time hai..Baad me aana","""i am yamraj. i have come here to take you.""
sbi employee: what's the time right now?
yamraj: 2:05 pm
sbi employee: it's lunch time...come afterwards"
@240 : I <3 you Yamini : *,"@240 : i love you, yamini"
Bahut hua samman tumhari ... #IndvsPak,you have been glorified a lot #IndvsPak
"""Main kuch bhi dekh sakta hun bas teri ankhon main aansoo nahi""

Two girls one cup?","""i can see anything but tear in your eyes"" two girls one cup?"
"badi badi baatein , allegations lgaate , economy ki haalat khrab krte , conditions lgaate , fir patli gali se bhaag jaate","big words, fixing the economy, worsening the economy, putting conditions, then running away from the thin lane"
Raat ke do baje ye trend karne ke liye tweet Kar rahe ho ..... # _ _,you are tweeting to trend it at 2 am in the night.....
Sir aap log jo sting operation karte hai wo bhi #RightToPrivacy me aayega kya ?,"sir, the sting operation you guys do will also come in #RightToPrivacy?"
"@chatpatidiary haha! Bechari hai, kahan milti hai aisi ladkiyan aajkal?","@chatpatidiary haha! poor thing, where do you find such girls nowadays?"
Kya humne aapko pehle kahin dekha hai?,have i ever seen you before?
@tweekrant 5 saal se iPhone use kar raha hu.,@tweekrant i am using iphone for 5 years
Tu bhai itna bol raha hai.. Aajtak sarkari aspatal gaya hai zindagi me ?https://twitter.com/Pawankhera/status/618995371444948992 …,"you brother are speaking too much .. till this day, have you ever gone to a government hospital in life? https://twitter.com/Pawankhera/status/618995371444948992 …"
par ye guddu and family jaa kaha rahe hai ?,but where are guddu and his family going?
@hinnaz kuchh to baat hai,@hinnaz there is some matter
"mene zid ki muje video game chahiye , khana bhi nahi khaya , ","i insisted that i want a video game, didn't even eat food."
aur admin kaha busy ho yaar aj kal apk post k darshn durlabh ho gye h :(,"and admin, where are you busy? man, these days your posts have become rare. "
Kya kismat hai logo ki ghar baithe match dekh rahe hai.. Hamari poori company me ek TV bhi nahi hai..,"what luck do people have, watching matches at home .. there is not even a single tv in our entire company .."
"@someUSER :) most def , i think when you come tomorrow the boys will be here . ","@someUSER :) most definitely , i think when you come tomorrow the boys will be here . "
@UnSubtleDesi Waise bhi ab iske din zyada nahi bache hai.. Isne tumse panga jo liya hai @Being_Humor @MeetUunngLee @HaddHaiYaar,"@UnSubtleDesi anyways, he doesnot have a lot of days left... as he has been in a brawl with you @Being_Humor @MeetUunngLee @HaddHaiYaar"
"Woh humein mandir pe mila gaya tha na, isiliye humne uska naam GHANTA rakh diya. #AAAKaanTesthttps://twitter.com/happlyunmarried/status/789385176635760640 …","we found it at the temple, that's why we named it ghanta.#AAAKaanTest https://twitter.com/happlyunmarried/status/789385176635760640 …"
"Pic 1. Kyun chalti hai pawan
Pic 2. Kyun jhoome hai gagan
Pic 3. Kyun machalta hai mann
Pic 4. Na tum jaano na humpic.twitter.com/ptB2R2HLLc","pic 1: why does the wind blows?
pic 2: why is the sky swinging?
pic 3: why i am fumbling?
pic 4: neither do you know, nor do i pic.twitter.com/ptB2R2HLLc"
@ibnlive haha @ArvindKejriwal bhai tu KRK se bhi bada wala hai,"@ibnlive haha @ArvindKejriwal man, you are even bigger than krk"
"@narendramodi Sir, aapko kaam karne ka time kab milta hai?","@narendramodi Sir, when do you get time to work?"
"""Jab tak Congress ki Lok Sabha me 2 seete reh jaengi tab tak speech deta rahunga..""pic.twitter.com/BM7WNvybUF","""as long as there are 2 seats in the lok sabha of the congress, i will keep giving the speech .."" pic.twitter.com/BM7WNvybUF"
Samajh mein nahi aaraha ki #holi celebrate karun ya #diwali ..,i am confused whether to celebrate #holi or #diwali
@zahrarizvii ye World Wide Web hai.. Pakistan ki railway nahi jo lahore se karachi me 5 din lagati hai,@zahrarizvii this is the world wide web .. not the railway of pakistan which takes 5 days from lahore to karachi.
@Atheist_Krishna Maine suna tha ise koi doosre naam se bhi bulate hai log.. Do u know what ? @raggedtag @akshaykanitkar,@Atheist_Krishna i have heard that he is called by some other name too... do u know what ? @raggedtag @akshaykanitkar
@Atheist_Krishna daru pee le thodi.. Hosh aa jarga @twinitishapic.twitter.com/BG4IL03wXS,@Atheist_Krishna drink some alcohol.... you will wake up @twinitisha pic.twitter.com/BG4IL03wXS
but the bottom line is that he still has a chance to get lucky . . . unlike you ! :d,but the bottom line is that he still has a chance to get lucky unlike you ! :d
kya bakwas kar rahe ho tum?,what rubbish are you talking about?
Salman bhaijan EID MOBARAK.,salman bhaijan eid mobarak.
"@Alllahdin Arre paisa hek tamasha dekh, nachegi maushi fultoo late..!! *nagin dance*","@Alllahdin throw the money, watch the show, aunt would dance very late! *nagin dance*"
Shanti Bhushan aaj se corrupt ho gaye mitron.,"shanti bhushan, mitron has been corrupted from today"
Sir ka dil sponge jaisa hai @iamGunjanGrunge,sir's heart is like a sponge @iamGunjanGrunge
ok i will be in the film mt zion which is out feb with the man stan walker . the shit ! cool story bro ? :),ok i will be in the film with mt zion which is out in february with the man stan walker . the shit ! cool story bro ? :)
kya hogaya tumhare mann ko?,what happened to your heart?
yaar aap to mujhey nostalgic kar dete ho . . .,"man, you make me nostalgic"
aaj ladkia comment nahi karegi . . guddu ki gully khadi hai kaise aayega,today girls will not comment. . how will guddu's gulli stand up?
@lolpurush mujhe bhi aaj hi pata chala @nainkatarii,@lolpurush i also came to know today @nainkatarii
Haha! Ye bhi achha idea hai!,haha! this is also a good idea
Me : Cats bhi acche hote haina 0,me : cats are also good
@Urban_Sanyaasi lol.. Or mooli ke paranthe,@Urban_Sanyaasi lol.. or radish's parathas
"Dusro ko bolne se phle khud ke girebaan me dekhna behtar hota hai "" independent country me #SukmaAttack #UriAttack ..?? #CorruptSystem",it is better to see in their own homes before advising others. #SukmaAttack #UriAttack in an independent country ..?? #CorruptSystem
abi break me sab facebook dekhne lagenge ! :p,everyone will check their facebook in the break! 
@klpe Google+ ke aage bhi duniya hai dost @tweetria,@klpe there is world ahead of google+ too @tweetria
development chahiye next generation ke liye . . .,we need development for the next generation...
h0w are y0u my freind kese h0.,how are you my friend? how are you?
@gurusales this idiot thinks Me bhi Indian freedom strugglers ki dhajjiya udake famous hojaunga @hartoshsinghbal,@gurusales this idiot thinks i will also become famous after making fun of indian freedom strugglers @hartoshsinghbal
"norv turner calls a play action pass on 1st &amp; goal at the half-yard line , rivers throws a pick . #chargers","norv turner calls a play action pass on 1st and goal at the half-yard line , rivers throws a pick . #chargers"
"@huh_watnow apna hi desh hai, Ravan sir wahin ke the","@huh_watnow it 's our country only, ravan sir was from here too"
""" @someUSER rivers may have just entered cmon man territory with that int in the end zone -- #chargerfansbooing "" why did that need a hashtag",""" @someUSER rivers may have just entered common man territory with that int in the end zone -- #chargerfansbooing "" why did we need that hashtag"
light kati hui hai :) welcome to india :3,light is out :) welcome to india :3
guddu ko bhagwan bhi english mein translate kar diya . . . . .,even god translated guddu to english
GST samajhna zada mushkil hai ya meri bandi k mood swings? #GST,is understanding gst hard or understanding your girlfriend's mood swings? #GST
guddu pakka mere school se hoga . . . harkatein same to same hein ,p
eiske bs ka nhi #bigboss ! ! ! :p,he is not enough for #bigboss!!
india ko world cup main harana mushkil hi nahi naamumkin hai . . .,"it's not hard to defeat india in worldcup, it's impossible"
bhai Tu apni jaaan hai :*,"man, you are my life!!"
"@someUSER haha ! ! well keep going , my hubby gave up on ash wed in '96 &amp; has never looked back . ","@someUSER haha ! ! well keep going , my hubby gave up on ash wed in '96 and has never looked back . "
""" @ATSBB : Rithvik Aur Asha ka Havan khas Mahashivratri par .. dekhiyega zarur sirf SBB me 2.30 Baje http://t.co/9daj7A0mrn "" Omg",""" @ATSBB : rithvik and asha's havan specailly on mahashivratri .. please watch it only in sbb at 2.30 http://t.co/9daj7A0mrn "" omg"
64 in one ke test bhi honge ! ! ! aur sath me sports period me track and field waale games bhi :d jo 100000 in one me repeat hoke aate the :d,"there will be a test of 64 in one!! along with that, track and field events in sports period which come after repeating 10000 in one"
"Jumle ki raat hai, Jumle ki baat hai, Allah Bachaye tujhe AAP ke waar se..","it is a night of jumle, it is a matter of jumle, may allah save you from aap's blows .."
l ki power leke . . . . hahahhahaha best one,taking i's power . . . . hahahhahaha best one
"Dhoni bhai out hue hain, toh main kaise run maar sakta hun: Jadeja","dhoni is out, how can I score? : jadeja"
"Tujh mein rab dikhta hai, yaara main kya karoonpic.twitter.com/sTI3w1I7Ry","i can see god in you, what should I do! pic.twitter.com/sTI3w1I7Ry"
alag alag powers ke sath different different combinations of 2-3 games .,"with difeerent set of powers, various combinations of 2-3 games."
ya . really sir . they dont know . . anything they r just useless peoples . and they dont have any agendas to present infront of peoples . only coming to eat money and rule people .,yeah! really sir . they dont know anything. they are just useless people. and they don't have any agendas to present in front of people. they are only coming here to eat money and rule people .
"RT @MehekF : Afridi aapko Indians bahut pyar karte hai , Pakistanis se bhi zyada . Now spend some time with them in the pavilion . 😁 #IndvsPak","RT @MehekF : afridi, indians love you a lot more than pakistanis. now spread some time with them in the pavilion. #IndvsPak"
Bhai usse achche gaane VH1 pe aate haihttps://twitter.com/abhi_bol/status/742999361026699264 …,"brother, vh1 presents better songs than it https://twitter.com/abhi_bol/status/742999361026699264 …"
guddu . . . . sir jb puchhe to unki taraf nahi dekha karte . . . . .,"guddu , when sir asks anything, you should not be seeing him"
ab aaenge aur...good evening bol.k good bye kr k chale jaayenge,now more will come. saying good morning and good bye they will just go
Mazaak mazaak me 50 ho gaye.. wicket lo,"in jest, he scored 50. take a wicket"
Yahaa to har koi ek lesson jindagi ka seekha jaata hai https://t.co/R4qi2Aj0qc,"here, everybody teaches a life lesson https://t.co/R4qi2Aj0qc"
.@sagarikaghose zyada modi modi mat kiya karo.. Ye dekho kal kya huapic.twitter.com/6DAqBCrmX2,@sagarikaghose don't do more modi modi .. see what happened yesterday. pic.twitter.com/6DAqBCrmX2
nai punishment ka socho . . . . de dana dan . . :v :v :v,"no, think about punishment... de dana dan"
Kyunke Janab to accha khasay fake heera the https://t.co/VhCXnObTFV,because sir were a great fake diamond https://t.co/VhCXnObTFV
kaha gye bhaijaan???,"where did you go, bhaijaan?"
"haso, gaao, muskurao, khush raho... kya pata kal... shadi ho jaaye.","laugh, sing, smile, be happy... what if... you get married tomorrow!"
RT @coolfunnytshirt : Kejriwal : Apne Delhi da munda Virat Kohli hi apne Delhi Daredevils ki le raha hai .. Galat baat ! #BJPAgainstOddEven,rt @coolfunnytshirt : kejriwal : our delh boy virat kohli is beating our team delhi daredevils .. it's not right ! #BJPAgainstOddEven
@MANJULtoons ha ha ha...sahi kaha sir...choron ki baarat hain yahan puri :),@MANJULtoonsha ha ha ... rightly said sir ... the procession of thieves end here :)
hmm raspberry pi - scrap ipads in the class room - have some pi instead #education @someUSER http/URL,"hmm, raspberry pi and scrap ipads in the class room. instead have some pi #education @someUSER "
RT @Fataxaleem : Sahi mai yr kohli best banda hai,"rt @Fataxaleem : truly, kohli is the best"
Rahul Gandhi: We want discussion on Rajasthan's maa-bete ki sarkaar in Parliament,rahul gandhi: we want discussion on rajasthan's mother-son's government in parliament
@reviewero @TimesNow ek thappad maarna chahiye kejri ko,@reviewero @TimesNow they should slap kejriwal one time
Eid Mubarakchya Hardik Shubechha.,"on the occassion of eid mubarak, great wishes!!"
@clued_up_chic roopanagar premagali kholi nambar chaar sau bees,@clued_up_chic roopanagar premagali house number 420
Apne shehar bhi ajeeb hain. 2 gali galat mudd jao toh kisi gaon pahunch jaate hain.,our city is also very strange. turn 2 lanes wrong and you will reach some village.
Bhai Hindu Mahasabha yeh wala ho chuka hai. Kuch naya sunao.,"brother, this hindu mahasabha has already happened. please give me some new news"
sunday is turning out to be the day when i play temple run . social life is a joke only . forever alone lvl 100000000 .,sunday is turning out to be the day when i play temple run . social life is only a joke. forever alone level 100000000 .
in south korea ? unikent is excited to be at the world grad fair in seoul tomorrow . join us at . . . . http/URL,in south korea ? unikent is excited to be at the world grad fair in seoul tomorrow . join us at . . . . 
@aanchalator Hum sirf parda fash karte hain.,@aanchalator we just expose.
"""Jab log tumhare khilaaf bolne lage ... samajh lo tarakki kar rahe ho"" ~ Hitler",""" if people start saying against you, know that you are making progres"" ~ hitler"
@raviishndtv or modiji ye kaam acche se kr lete h ...,@raviishndtv or modiji do this type of work better ...
Uske liye sirf wait karein. Ek din sabka number ayega https://twitter.com/abhijeet_garg/status/700371043894980608 …,wait for it.... everyone's turn will come someday https://twitter.com/abhijeet_garg/status/700371043894980608 …
bhai....... 4 nhi baje ra.......3:30 ma he kr lo na.....,"brother, it's not 4, do it at 3:30 only"
see @iHrithik tumne support kiya hai na Aamir ko ?? jab ki woh galat haiaab dekho iska real face https://t.co/TfZ461MCUH,"see @iHrithik you supported aamir, right? though he was wrong, now see his real face https://t.co/TfZ461MCUH"
@mainbhiengineer delete kar diya bhai waise bhi kuchh khas nahi hona tha uska :),"@mainbhiengineer i deleted. by the way, nothing special was going to happen with that :)"
@Husain_1986 Tumhe Gattu Baba ke Rajnigandha ki kasam hassna band kardo,@Husain_1986 swear on gattu baba's rajnigandha to stop laughing
Accha hua main to 61% leke hi pass ho gaya jab tak mummy papa ko pata chalta ki 90% bhi koi chiz hoti hai.,it is good that I have passed with 61% till my father realized that 90% is something.
kya faisal bhai(garbage bin) . . . aj kal bahut emotional kar dete ho . . .,"why faisal bro(grabage bin), why do you get us so emotional?"
"#NoteBandi ke ek saal baad "" Indian currency ki value itni badh gayi ki #chillar bhi jeet gaye",after one year of #NoteBandi indian currency's value increased so much that even #chillar won
@Nomadic_Soul_ toh phir kya hua aankhon ko?,@Nomadic_Soul_ then what happened to your eyes?
"@DefucktiveHumor ab chaat ke khana 
@huh_watnow","@DefucktiveHumor now eat after licking
@huh_watnow"
Ye kya hai?https://twitter.com/Stupidosaur/status/752959355314540545 …,what's this? https://twitter.com/Stupidosaur/status/752959355314540545 …
Aur abhi #Kohli ne Dhoni ki li hai - I mean #captaincy ! #Cricketstories #bcci,now #Kohli has taken dhoni's - i mean #captaincy ! #Cricketstories #bcci
tu bi this thread karne laga bhai? :'( @Alllahdin,"you also started doing this thread, brother? :'( @Alllahdin"
@witchybitchygal hamare liye kya laye aap ? @iamGunjanGrunge,@witchybitchygal what did you brought for us ? @iamGunjanGrunge
"monta ellis commits his 1st foul ! he's cold with 2 missed fts , a foul and a miss to start q3 . #bucks trail #bulls 70-60 , mid q3 . ","monta ellis commits his 1st foul ! he's cold with 2 missed fts , a foul and a miss to start quarter 3 . #bucks trail #bulls 70-60 , mid q3 . "
tu bhadakta kyu hai yaar? Chal high5 de,why are you getting angry? give me a high five
@DefucktiveHumor abhi to manzil door hai.. Sonam kapoor hoor hai,@DefucktiveHumor right now the destination is far away .. sonam kapoor is a hoor
"we will wants greentea , more namkeen item , different quality rice in patanjali product @Ach_Balkrishna @yogrishiramdev","we will want greentea , more namkeen item , different quality rice in patanjali product @Ach_Balkrishna @yogrishiramdev"
RT @exasperating_ : ' ammi kal se tatti nahi aye ' http://t.co/hNtZNYnAow,"RT @exasperating_ : ' mother, i haven't had a poop till yesterday ' http://t.co/hNtZNYnAow"
"Krupya baith jaaiye, please baith jaaiye, khade mat hoiye, please baith jaaiye #IStandWithAbhijeet","please sit down, please sit down, don't stand up, please sit down #IStandWithAbhijeet"
"In English, it's #AAPBreakUp. In Hindi, it's 'Jhaadu ke tinke bikhar gaye'.","In English, it's #AAPBreakUp. In Hindi, it's 'straws of broom started scattering'."
Tujhe ghanta kuch nahi pata Jon Snow. #GoTIndianVersion,you don't know anything jon snow #GoTIndianVersion
@Ra_Bies ye EcoSport chalane wale log hai Sir..,"@Ra_Bies these people drive ecosport, sir.."
@kitAnurag chalega. Aaj kal gaali ke bina hasi nahi aati,"@kitAnurag it will be fine. nowadays, without a cuss it's hard to laugh!"
bhot open minded h tu to yaar . . . . khule vichaaar :0,you are very open minded.... broad mind
Jain hit mai jaarihttps://twitter.com/gauravcsawant/status/641457959998873601 …,issued in public interest https://twitter.com/gauravcsawant/status/641457959998873601 …
@Kahaanify @MalhotraSaurabh Itna gussa sehat ke liye theek nahi hai barkhuddar.,@Kahaanify @MalhotraSaurabh so much anger is not good for health barkhuddar.
"I get to hear this a lot these ""days #GST ki wajah se Sab bandh pada ""hai #Business Bahut hi slow ""hai Maal nahi...","i get to hear this a lot these days that due to #GST, everything is closed, #Business is slow, there are no items...."
"Bihar me zor se chilla kar 'Vikas' bolo to log poochte hai ye kaunsi chidiya ka naam hai

#NitishKaNakliVikas","in bihar, shout 'vikas' and people ask, which bird's name is this? #NitishKaNakliVikas"
@Atheist_Krishna kya kharaab kar du ?? neend ya neeyat ??,what should i spoil? sleep or intentions?
"@Ra_Bies best song I've heard in long time is, 'suno dwaarpalo, kanhaiya se keh do, ghar pe tumhare garib aagaya hai'","@Ra_Bies best song i've heard in long time is, 'suno dwaarpalo, kanhaiya se keh do, ghar pe tumhare garib aagaya hai'"
"@dan1shmemon delete kar diya, kya that?","@dan1shmemon you deleted it, what was it?"
Shohag Chand Full Mp3 Song Free Download Romeo Vs Juliet Feat . Akassh http://t.co/41ZjxyskK8,shohag chand full mp3 song free download romeo vs juliet feat akassh http://t.co/41ZjxyskK8
@SonyMAX #PKwalaSawaal Humar gola ke achche din kabhu aayenge ki naahi?,@SonyMAX #PKwalaSawaal will we ever see good days on our planet?
#rjraunac #babua #zeenews aap ik baar #donald #trump and #LALUPRASAD #YADAV JI KA INTER VIEW EK #sath kr ke dikhaye .....,"#rjraunac #babua #zeenews for one time, interview #donald #trump and #LALUPRASAD #YADAV together..."
"Mrs: Naashta rakh du ?

Kejri: Nahi, abhi toilet nahi huee, koi tha andar..

Mrs: Waha bhi seat nahi mili 

Kejri: ","mrs: do i serve the snacks?
kejrival: no, i haven't went to the laterine yet, there was someone inside
mrs: you didn't got a seat there too
kejri:"
@sheetal_here yeh mera kaam nahi hai lol. I was asleep. Meri @OpIndia_com team sab record karti hai,"@sheetal_here it's not my work, lol. i was asleep. my team @OpIndia_com records everything"
Bina #note chaape notebandi lagu...Bina number diye #GST lagu... Dekh lena bina patri bichaye ye #bullet #train dauda dega....,without printing #notes demonetisation was started...without giving numbers #GST was started... you will see he will start #bullet #train without laying the tracks...
@White_Crimes tumhare liye hit tha <3 sigh.,@White_Crimes it was hit for you 
"@someUSER tbf it is , hodgson currently has the same record as capello and hoddle but a better defensive . this is his 11th game in","@someUSER to be fair it is , hodgson currently has the same record as capello and hoddle but it has a better defense. this is his 11th game in"
i'm excited to go to the knicks vs . lakers game in december thanks daddy you dah best,i'm excited to go to the knicks vs lakers game in december thanks daddy you are the best
"kya baat bhai, sahi farmaya hai. Sukh se sadhu bhi nahi ban sakte, thanks to responsibilities","what a statement brother! one cannot become a monk with happiness, thanks to responsibilities"
@indiantweeter ab toh tu verify hogaya hai ab toh tu bilkul milne nahi aayega. @Alllahdin,"@indiantweeter now you are verified, you won't come to meet us. @Alllahdin"
"from the start of this gag i had a feeling ye "" sharma ji ke bete "" ki to ham kahkar lenge is bar b-)","from the start of this gag i had a feeling that we will take fun of ""sharma ji ke bete"" after telling him b-)"
@MeetUunngLee baa mazaak udaa mere singlehood ka,@MeetUunngLee make fun of my singlehood
"I'm a good ombudsman, tu mujhe hire kar, I want to report to you. Sirf 2 lakh chhaiye mahine ke, tu bhai hai. @MplusJain","i'm a good ombudsman, hire me i want to report to you.i just want 2 lakhs, you are a brother. @MplusJain"
"@MeetUunngLee bhaijaan janam din mubarak, aapne toh bataya hi nahi, kal phone karte hai, tunday kabab aur beer hojaaye ","@MeetUunngLee happy birthday bhaijaan, you didn't tell me. i will call you tomorrow. let's have kabab and a beer on sunday"
salman aapne 3:30 bola tha,salman you told about 3:30
8 bit game kharidane k liye bahut papad belne pade the ghar walo k samne . . . . . 3:),it took a lot of struggle in front of the family to buy an 8 bit game
Ye to Palasia bhi Pahuch gaye .. bahut mast aur fast bhag rahe hai !! Badiya #Indore #RunIndoreRun #JioIndoreMarathon http://t.co/wBcI5uJiT1,he also reached palasia...he is running fast!! great #Indore #RunIndoreRun #JioIndoreMarathon http://t.co/wBcI5uJiT1
"#AAPSweep #DelhiDecides I m decide shift to delhi .. free water , Free Ele , Free wifi , Free vegi , Free Education , Free mufler , Free Cough syrup haa","#AAPSweep #DelhiDecides i have decided to shift to delhi .. free water , free electricity , free wifi , free vegi , free education , free mufler , free cough syrup haha"
@ruchikokcha kya yaad dilaya hai!,@ruchikokcha such a great reminder!
@sagarcasm hahaha. Stupido mahapurush hai bhai,@sagarcasm hahaha. stupido is a great man
OKUHARA ke naam me hi HARA hai 0 #BWF 2017 #PVSindhu,okuhara has hara in her name  #BWF 2017 #PVSindhu
@Murtaxa_Syed bilkul i feel 140 bahut achha score hoga,"@Murtaxa_Syed definitely, i feel that 140 would be a good score"
@tweeting_pal jahan pyaar hota hai wahi jhagda hota hai @GaurangBhardwa1,"@tweeting_pal where there's love, there's fights @GaurangBhardwa1"
"""Maggi hai maggi?"" is the new ""Maal hai maal?""","""do you have maggi?"" is the new ""do you have weed?"""
@Sarcastic_Raj Good Morning aaj dilwale aayegi,"@Sarcastic_Raj good morning, today dilwale will release"
@SGGeet @rashisingh02 @ColorsTV @OfficialHelly7 @rajcheerfull Rangeela kinna accha hai😭😭😭😭😭😍😍😍😍😍 #WantSwaSanIntenseTrack,@SGGeet @rashisingh02 @ColorsTV @OfficialHelly7 @rajcheerfull rangeela is so nice #WantSwaSanIntenseTrack
Ameer kare toh pole-dancing. Gareeb kare toh 'Isme mata aa gayi hai'.,"when the rich do it its poledancing, when the poor do it its 'he's possesed'."
yeh isq nahi aasan bus aag ka dariya hai or doubna hi doubna hai.......,-(
sallu bhai..........ed ki party akele ....hi hmko bhul gye,sallu brother...celebrating eid alone? you forgot us
@tehseenp @PMOIndia Apni waitress bai ki pic Bhagwat ji ke neeche morph kar di ... this shows that teri Bar dancer Madam hamesha neeche rahegi,@tehseenp @PMOIndia you morphed your waitress's picture below bhagwat... this shows that you bar dancer will always stay underneath
@Champ_Nikk Bihaar me aa gayee bahaar #GoodByeNitishKumar,@Champ_Nikk it's springtime in bihar #GoodByeNitishKumar
@Footloose_Free waah.. Chutti mana rahe ho ?,@Footloose_free wow! are you having a holiday?
@KumarVkd @vijaystambh grow up ... manavhit ki soch bhai hindu hit aur muslim hit dono aapne aap ho jaygi ...,@KumarVkd @vijaystambh grow up ... think about the welfare of mankind brother: the welfare of the hindu and muslims will follow on its own
wtng for ur rply ....plz,waiting for your reply… please
mere desh ke 81928261 mare hai.. isliye nahi bhoolunga @AdvancedMaushi,81928261 of my country have died... that's why i won't forget @AdvancedMaushi
oye fake id #salman_khan tera to public #acount hai ... real hai to #page se reply mar,"hey! fake id #salman_khan, you have a public #acount. If you are real then reply from #page"
bhai gareeb ko roti se matlab bhagwaan se nahi.. Zinda rahega tab bhagwaan ko yaad karega. Majboori,the poor care about food not god. when they stay alive they will remember god.
"@imcomplicated__ ye jo halka halka suroor hai, ye teri nazar ka kusoor hai...ke sharaab peena sikha diya",@imcomplicated__  the light addictiveness of your eyes for which your sight is to blame got me started on how to drink alcohol.
@kamaalrkhan tumhara kaam hi yahi hai sir g,@kamaalrkhan that's your job sir
yeh karke anna ne saabith kiya ke he is not fascist.....,by doing this anna has proved that he is not fascist
tumhari shaadi kab huee ?,when did you get married?
@friendlii_ghost knorr ke sahare jee raha hoon abhi to@MaggiIndia,@friendlii_ghost living by with the support of knorr currently @MaggiIndia
apne lips pe lipstik ki jagah poison chipka leti to maza aata..,it would have been fun if you would have applied poison instead of lipstick on your lips
yoooo..nice modification admin...game of thrones is really awesome btw..!!,yo... nice modification administrator... game of thrones is really awesome by the way!!
#ZalmiRocks yahan ek wicket ki zarorat hy,#ZalmiRocks we need a wicket here
just found out ill be playing at the same tournament with ut as my brother with his h . s .in february in new orleans during mardis gras .,just found out i'll be playing at the same tournament with ut as my brother with his highschool in february in new orleans during mardis gras .
Wait karana achi baat nahi hoti hai bhai.... Bhai sirf rona baki hai,waiting is not a good thing brother. all that's left to do is cry.
@mitra_meghna hahahahha aaj bahut pani hai mere pas thy can take how much want,@mitra_meghna hahahahha today i have a lot of water. you can take as much as you want.
we're excited for trunk or treat tomorrow (nov 2) night at the boys and girls club in pottstown .it will start at ...http/URL,we're excited for trick or treat tomorrow (nov 2) night at the boys and girls club in pottstown.it will start at ...http/URL
Bhagwan na kare Modi ke time me agar koi Indo-Pak war ho gaya to AAPtards guaranteed 100% Pakistan ke sath honge.,"god forbid if there's an indo-pak war in modi's term, aaptards are 100% guaranteed to support Pakistan"
"Main bhi kabhi relationship mein huwa karta tha, yaar itna understimate kar ke zaleel na karo.https://twitter.com/bruthonestmulgi/status/877112059619561472 …","I too used to be in a relationship, please don't underestimate me this much. https://twitter.com/bruthonestmulgi/status/877112059619561472"
@LoKarDi_RT saare romance ki band baja je tu,@LoKarDi_RT you are spoiling all the romance
@Prakashjaaju lol. Bhai tu kuchh bhi fekta hai hawa. Tujhse accha prediction to baju wala kaalu naayi kar leta hai.,"@Prakashjaaju lol. brother, don't spin tall tales. the neighbour kaalu does better predictions than you."
meri 72 hoore kaha hai ?,where are my 72 houris?
Relatives to me - beta insaan ho ya #ManmohanSingh kabhi kuch bolte hi nahi,"relatives to me - son, are you human or #ManmohanSingh? you never speak anything."
"@witchybitchygal Din aapko dekh ke badalte hai, aap din ko nahi..
 Hum to kya Khuda bhi deewana hai aapka.. Koi ye maane ya nahi..","@witchybitchygal the day changes after seeing you, you don't change seeing the day...
 it's not only me, even god is mady in love with you whether anyone chooses to believe or not."
RT @RpG_89 : @TajinderBagga Bagga ji AAP speak vicious rumours regarding Gurdwara . Hope BSKS puts posters and exposes,"retweet @RpG_89 : @TajinderBagga bagga sir, aap speaks vicious rumours regarding gurdwara. hope bsks puts posters and exposes them."
bs kr..oyeee rulayega kya :v :p #santi_kr_ditta :p,stop it... you want to make me cry? :v :p #santi_kr_ditta :p
@Alllahdin @retardedwriter kal bina peeye chupchaap so gaye the humlog,@Alllahdin @retardedwriter yesterday we slept quietly without having a drink
"#TripleTalaq ka jashn thoda ""pheeka sorry bhakto aaj #Modi ko credit nahi doge? Ya Modi ki Haar manoge.. #RightToPrivacy","#TripleTalaq celebration is a little pale. sorry devotees, won't you credit #Modi today? or, will you celebrate modi's loss... #RightToPrivacy"
"happy valentines day &lt;3!!..... yes ,in brazil ,it is celebrated on june 12 .your mind = blown!","happy valentine's day!!... yes, in brazil it is celebrated on june 12. mindblowing!"
I'm superman but salman ka fan,i'm superman but salman's fan
@VikrantShanbhag @Parsahiya sahi uchal raha tha,@VikrantShanbhag @Parsahiya 
RT @MANISHHAZRA1 : Good afternoon bhaijaan🙏 jai ho @BeingSalmanKhan https://t.co/YdQRjpMtWb,"retweet @MANISHHAZRA1 : good afternoon brother, may victory be yours @BeingSalmanKhan https://t.co/YdQRjpMtWb"
"@MeetUunngLee haha, yaar sahi bola hai. Koi toh aaye",@MeetUunngLee you speak the truth. atleast someone should come
@balliawalebaba achcha hua bata diya,@balliawalebaba great that you informed
@PAYBACKIndiaKali Mata ki pooja karna par shaadi sirf gori ladki se karne ka #PointKyaHai,@PAYBACKIndia people worship kali mata but only want to marry a fair girl #PointKyaHai
Sallu bhai aapka no.... chaye,sallu sir I need your number
"@KajuBadamChor bas do boond nikal lo baahar, ab zindagi anandmayi hai","@KajuBadamChor just let out two drops, then your life will become blissful."
@sejaljobanputra Kejriwal is alleging that Sonia Modi working together to s uttle #AgustaScam,@sejaljobanputra kejriwal is alleging that sonia and modi are working together to settle #AgustaScam
frame dekh kr asa lag rha h guddu or shaan school bunk kr ke cricket khelne gay h.....,looks at the frame it seems tha guddu and shaan bunked school and went to play cricket
Lanka toh humne hi jalayi thi. #INDvsSL,we we the ones who burnt down lanka. #INDvsSL
Bhai iski mummy behen gaaliya bakte hai.. Isne hi bola https://twitter.com/raulzgargon/status/740897718609031168 …,brother his mother and sister speak cuss words... he's the one who told this. https://twitter.com/raulzgargon/status/740897718609031168
@newslaundry @AbhinandanSekhr awesome interview . 1st interview whr kanaihya did not have to say- sub judice after every second line,@newslaundry @AbhinandanSekhr it's an awesome interview. first interview where kanaihya did not have to say 'sub judice' after every second line.
Big blow to @gsurya .. Surya ab tu marr jaa bhaihttps://twitter.com/firstpost/status/620572414187978752 …,big blow to @gsurya .. surya please die now brother https://twitter.com/firstpost/status/620572414187978752
Koi @DDNational Pe bhi @Sehwa ko commentary ke liye bulao,someone call @Sehwa for commentary on @DDNational too
@Itsmy_rule nahi hai bhai birthday,"@Itsmy_rule no brother, it's not my birthday"
hashtag kidhar hai? #GoWTwisted @happlyunmarried,where's the hashtag? #GoWTwisted @happlyunmarried
RT @no1_Villain : Kal Sunday hai yarrr .. pher bhi koi aj active nhi hai .. 😑😑,retweet @no1_Villain : tomorrow's sunday man ... still no one is active today
Tujhe mirchi lagi to main kya karu?,if you got provoked then what can I do?
bheek me .. chalk bhi milta ha kya sir,"do you get chalk in alms too , sir?"
RT @taran_adarsh : Ajay Devgn & Bhushan Kumar to produce a dance-action film directed by Remo D'souza . Stars Ajay Devgn & Sooraj Pancholi . S,retweet @taran_adarsh : ajay devgn and bhushan kumar to produce a dance-action film directed by remo d'souza. the film will star ajay devgn & sooraj pancholi.
.@Chootsayer muh mein le liyo,.@Chootsayer take it in your mouth
sallu bhai...ek bar cl kr do bs....plz....,sallu brother...just call me once...please...
jhootha kejri ...i don't like u,kejri you liar! i don't like u
"@nainkatary bas isiliye tumhe spam kar rahe hai, aankhon ka free mein check up hi kara lo. katary naino ko sambhalna hai ya nahi?","@nainkatary that's why i've spammed you. get a free eye check-up done. you want to maintain your eyes as sharp as a dagger, right?"
Sir @narendramodi jaan aise hi maang lo.. ye roz roz suee chuba chuba ke kyu maar rahe hohttps://twitter.com/htTweets/status/809779725346291712 …,"sir @narendramodi, please ask for my life... why are you killing me by poking needles every day?https://twitter.com/htTweets/status/809779725346291712"
"@MeetUunngLee tu kar raha hai shaadi?
 
 :-O","@MeetUunngLee you're getting married?
 :-O"
Chal beta #Selfie le le re #SelfieKing #Devarsh #Kids #Instapic @ Bhavnagar https://t.co/SJEvdhhgzf,come son let's take a #Selfie #SelfieKing #Devarsh #Kids #Instapic @ Bhavnagar https://t.co/SJEvdhhgzf
I want it i want it i want itttttttttt ???,i want it. i want it. i want it???
@NumbYaar aaj to trend hoge aap,@NumbYaar you are trending today
2-3 punch wo bhi churaye huey...aur logon par satire maar rahe ho :) irony,"2-3 punch lines, that too stolen… despite that you're commenting on people's satire :) irony"
Kaash Pandya ke paida hote hi doctor ne no-ball ka ishaara karke use waapis andar daal diya hota.,i wish that when Pandya was born docter should have signalled no-ball and put him back inside.
Apni aankhon see pilao raja!,"make me drink from your eyes, king!"
@Integrated_me mujhe bas aapka saath chahiye,@Integrated_me i just want your support
"Pyar dilon ka mela hai, mele mein ye akela hai #AaiChaGhoEmo",love is a fair of hearts and he's alone in that fair #AaiChaGhoEmo
Saif aur Kareena ne apne bacche ka naam Salman to nahi rakha. Sab safe hai.,saif and kareena didn't name their child salman. everything's safe.
@ek_samosa_dena mujhe twitter ke bakwaas karo waale din wapas chahiye,@ek_samosa_dena i want the days of talking nonsense on twitter back
Kejriwal: Abhi toh party shuru hui hai :D :D,kejriwal: the party's just getting started :D :D
"@KyaUkhaadLega haan, tweet toh har cheez par banti hai. Bas pelte raho!","@KyaUkhaadLega yeah, tweets can be made on everything. just keep at it!"
"offer hai bhai, waise bhi tikcets mehengi hai ye movie ke. Main toh dekhunga zaroor!","it's an offer brother, the tickets for this movie are anyway costly. i will definately watch!"
"us secretary of state press availability on the london conference: london ,united-kingdom ,february 24 ,2012/afr ...http/URL","united states secretary of state press availability on the london conference: london, united-kingdom, february 24, 2012"
"@someUSER - ever hear tamias live cover of the winans"" tomorrow ""","@someUSER - ever heard tamia's live cover of the winans "" tomorrow ""?"
"Sir @amitshah Pappu ko Brotain bhejne ke liye aapke BJP ke aalsi MP kya kar rahe hai ??
 
 Humne aapko vote diya.. Aap jawaab de","sir @amitshah, what are you lazy bjp mlas doing for sending pappu to britain?
 
we gave you our vote.. you give us our answer"
ghar pe internet khelne pe ban hai kya ? @CriminalSingh,is there a ban on playing internet at home ? @CriminalSingh
"With one line "" #Trump ne Twitter Ummah ko unite kar diya 0 #JerusalemEmbassy",with one line #Trump unted the entire twitter community #JerusalemEmbassy
"iss din school to jana hota he ,magar school bag ghar chor kar ,kya maja ata tha cycle ki race lagate the .",on this day we had to go to school but leaving the school bag at home. we had so much fun racing on our cycles
@bizzarebhide LOL! Saari duniya apni hai,@bizzarebhide lol! the entire world is ours
@HaddHaiYaar subtitles ke sath bhi tujhe samajh me nahi aayega aisa lagta hai. I mean it's brilliant in its original form.,@HaddHaiYaar looks like you won't understand it even with subtitles. i mean it's brilliant in its original form.
Sahi h fir agar aisi baat h to .....Jo log afwah uda rahe unhen ye sab nhi krna chahye......Islam jhut nhi sikhata h,it's right if this is the matter... the people who are spreading rumours must not do so... islam doesn't teach you to lie
"Oh kudiye inni soni gal na dasso, pyar hojana hai!","oh girl! don't say such a sweet thing, i'll fall in love."
@DesireMaze aisa bhi kuch nahi hai. Mere aur @indiantweeter ke 61-62 hi thay. Ham aaj bhi wahin hain.,@DesireMaze there's nothing like this too. i and @indiantweeter had 61-62. we're still there.
"Bhaisaab sector-126 kidhar se jate hain?
 Gulzar: is mod se jaate hain
 Road kaisi hai?
 Gulzar: kuchh sust kadam raste, kuchh tez kadam rahein","brother, from where do you go for sector-126?
gulzar: from this turn
how's the road?
gulzar: in slow steps is a road, in fast steps is a way"
@aanchalator tl dekh ke lagta hai saari stories yahi se banti hain.,@aanchalator after seeing the timeline it looks like all stories are made here.
Bhaijaan kahan ho..kat ki sath hai tum,brother where are you... you are with kat
@realpreityzinta Miyan Bhai Ki Daring Or Sultan ka Punch #pzchat,@realpreityzinta miyan brother's daring or sultan's punch #pzchat
"about india: auto production may end fy13 with 6% growth: cmie - mumbai: automobile production ,which took a ...http/URL","about india: auto production may end financial year 13 with 6% growth: cmie - mumbai: automobile production, which took a ...http/URL"
"#FF @BabaFirki 
 Pikar dhang ki baatein karta hai aadmi","#FF @BabaFirki 
 after drinking a man talks sense"
"tune bada tab rakha hai uss par, tu bhi fan hai kya?",you have kept a lot of tabs on him. are you a fan?
"Rahul Gandhi is behaving like an Engineering student . Koi kaam na dhaam , phir bhi chutti chahiye . #RahulOnLeave",rahul gandhi is behaving like an engineering student. he has no work at all but still demands a leave. #RahulOnLeave
aap wale bhai .aap to pura saaf .,"aap's ally, aap has been swept away."
Neeche islam wale khade hai kya ?,are islamic people standing downstairs?
Basanti ab kisi bhi kutton ke saamne nahi naachegi. https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/693073520738185216/photo/1pic.twitter.com/D82GVGnf6v pic.twitter.com/KTG9XRWEr1,"now, basanti will not dance in front of any dog. https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/693073520738185216/photo/1pic.twitter.com/D82GVGnf6v pic.twitter.com/KTG9XRWEr1"
"@dramebaaz_ani bechare hote hai ladke, ladkiyon se zyada bechare ladke hi hote hai",@dramebaaz_ani the helpless ones are the boys. boys are more helpless than girls.
Salman sir aap fir kb online rahoge plz bta do na... Wrna mai puri raat jgi rhungi or apka wait krungi. Plz bhaieya 1 reply.....,salman sir please tell me when you will be online again or i'll stay awake the entire night waiting for you. please brother reply once...
"""Sir mark my word's... Jab tak @FinMinIndia me @arunjaitley as a #FM ""hai kisi bhi top level ke #Congressi ka kuch nahi hoga..",sir mark my words. till the time @FinMinIndia has @arunjaitley as the #FM nothing can be done for any top-level #Congressi
1pm august 16th live stream + duels with miley .:) be prepared !,1pm august 16th live stream and duels with miley .:) be prepared !
@clued_up_chic ye bhi koi poochne ki baat hai,@clued_up_chic is this something worth asking?
Pass ho #Sania or rose na ho,#Sania's close by and you have no rose
Wo video Mr 0 #Trump ne dekh lee thi ... But unfortunately #Trump ko urdu nahi aati thi,mr. #Trump has seen the video... but unfortunately #Trump doesn't know urdu
Waise he Har Cricketer ki & Captaincy ki End Hai,loss is the end of a cricketer and captaincy
#china ka naam laga kar rahe hai #gharelu #hackers #gustaakhi .. #RightToPrivacy,in #china name what's happening is #gharelu #hackers #gustaakhi .. #RightToPrivacy
"""Baccha samajh ke kandhe pe bithaya to kaan mein mut-ta hai?"" by @MANJULtoons #Superlativepic.twitter.com/YIO6tVTtBK",i took you for a kid and sat you on my shoulders but you peed in my ears? by @MANJULtoons #Superlativepic.twitter.com/YIO6tVTtBK
Baahubali haryanvi accent aur dangal nahi kar rahatha mere pyare critic Bhai.https://twitter.com/royxman/status/865992830539485186 …,"baahubali wasn't doing a haryanvi accent and wrestling, my dear critic brother. https://twitter.com/royxman/status/865992830539485186"
@pranavsapra hahaha hardd hai yaar,@pranavsapra hahaha it's hard man
mujhe kya keh rahi hai bhai? Kya kiya maine? I'm all confused :'(,what are you telling me? what did i do? i'm confused :'(
@miss_cherished kuch na kaho.. Kuch bhi naa kaho..,don't say something... don't say anything...
guddu ka bag hai ya parachute ?:p,is guddu's bag a bag or a parachute?:p
haha! Haam dekhunga abhi woh hi. Daaru khatam,haha! i'll see to it. the beer's over
@Miss_Ankiita gharwalo se baat karu ?@MentionTo,@Miss_Ankiita shall i talk to my family?@MentionTo
celebrity juice is the highlight of my thursday night ..keith lemmon is hilarious hahaha,celebrity juice is the highlight of my thursday night... keith lemmon is hilarious. hahaha
salman khan u r my god father...agr aap na hotey aaj m kuch na hota..,salman khan you are my godfather... without you I would be nothing
@RajprasadAnjuli lunch time khatam nahi hua?,@RajprasadAnjuli lunch time's not over?
"#HTP @awasthis sir "" jab @ArvindKejriwal ne #surgicalstrike par sabut mange "" jab delhi ke logon ka gunssa satve aasman par tha jab dr . ne kuchh","#HTP @awasthis sir, when @ArvindKejriwal asked for proof for #surgicalstrike, when the people of delhi were seething with anger, then do something"
@DefucktiveHumor mujhe to kab ka block kiya huaa hai par profile mai 'you are blocked' aisa likha hua to anna chahiye na,@DefucktiveHumor i have been blocked long ago but the words 'you are blocked' should show up in the profile right?
Eeka ka matbal hobe hai?,what is the meaning of this?
"@MeetUunngLee Tune kal kaafi chadha li thi, hogaya ab quota 3 din ka. Bas kar.","@MeetUunngLee you drank a lot yesterday, enough for 3 days. stop."
bhai khatarnak viral ho gaya..Whatsapp pe dana dan chalu hai,brother it has gone insanely viral... its hot on whatsapp.
@MildlyClassic wahi jo last salary se kiya .,@MildlyClassic same as what I did with my last salary .
tum log dono aapas mein shaadi kar rahe ho kya?@ek_samosa_dena @Arunapk57,are you both getting married?@ek_samosa_dena @Arunapk57
@sagarcasm gaali mat do yaar,@sagarcasm please don't cuss
Haan bhai kyun nahi ? Obama tere ghas me ghuske teri sote hue photos bhi leta hai !! #TRUMP #Obama,yes brother why not? obama also sneaks around in bushes and takes your photos while you're sleeping!! #TRUMP #Obama
"Last ke 2 sune hai, pehle 3 sununga Netaji. Dhanyawad!","i heard the last two, i'll hear the first three respected politicial. thank you!"
"Naye daur pe jaa pahoncha hai aaj zamana, naye jagat se hum bhi naata TOD chuke hai - AK 2016https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/432760233316732928 …","today, the world entered a new era, i have broken my ties with the new world - ak 2016 https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/432760233316732928"
ye dekha bhi nahi maine.. thoda sa dekh ke hi upload kar di thi :(,i didn't see this... i uploaded it after seeing a bit :(
@narendramodi CongratulationsBharat Mata ki Jai .,@narendramodi congratulations. glory to mother india.
Allah pak apko hadyat de bhai jan .. ameen,may holy allah give you allowance... amen
and tomorrow swindon town have a date with aston villa .villa- fans nervous ?#stfc,"tomorrow swindon town has a date with aston villa. villa fans, are you nervous ?#stfc"
G2 - kar toh raha hu bas fark yeh ki usey apney notepad pe kar raha #RightToPrivacy bro,i'm doing it but the difference is that i'm doing it on my notepad. #RightToPrivacy brother.
mane ek baar kiya hai jab physics ka homework nhi kiya tha .... aur teacher th mr . pankaj aggarwal,i did it once when i didn't do my physics homework.  and the teacher was mr. pankaj aggarwal
Haar kar ghar wapas mat aaiyo!,don't come home with a loss!
"bachpan k zakhm hare ho gye ye dekhke !itni ummid se iske menu par nazar daalte the ,aur mario ,contra aur tanks ki har ek stage 50 alag alag naam se likhi milti thi !","the wounds of childhood reopened! We looked at its menu with high hopes and found every stage of mario, contra and tanks written in 50 different names!"
Happy Mahashivratri Sms In Hindi : Aayi Hai Shiv Ji Ki Ratri Karenge Shiv Ji Ka Jaap Karenge Kaamna Samridhi Ki ... http://t.co/19VTOoIcp0,happy mahashivratri sms In hindi : shiv's night has come. we'll chant in the name of shiv and we'll wish for prosperity... http://t.co/19VTOoIcp0
"atleast one time,u should talk to her parents and show them how much u love her.perhaps it can help u.bst of luck","atleast once, you should talk to her parents and show them how much you love her. perhaps, it will help u. best of luck."
Samose khao aur shuru ho jao.,eat samosas and get started.
aaj kaal . k bachey yeh kya janae,what does he know about the kids of today?
jhoot ...i boycaat this news ... ye deshbhakt baba ko badnaam karne ki saazish hai,lies... i boycott this news... this is a conspiracy to deface the partriotic 
use english mein baat karne de...tu hindi me usko reply kar hamesha..dheere dheere usko bhi aadat ho jyegi hindi mein baat karne ki.,let him talk in english... You always reply back in hindi... slowly and steadily he will get accustomed to talking in hindi.
"first 24 hours in london got given a free rail card ,saw 3 squirrels going to work ,may have found a home &amp; there's big alan rickman posters","first 24 hours in london: was given a free rail card, saw 3 squirrels going to work ,may have found a home and there's big alan rickman posters"
"Zamana badal gaya hai, pehle peeth mein dard hua karta tha ab tweet min bhi hota hai.","times have changed. before, you only felt back ache, now tweets ache too."
@HuraAnkur raat ki baat hi kuch aisi hai,@HuraAnkur there's something different about the night
Saare ladke kutton se bhow-khla gaye hain,all boys are bamboozled by the dogs
RT @LOLendraSingh : Pradhanmantri Ujjwala Yojna in a nutshell . https://t.co/d0RltF3PnI,retweet @LOLendraSingh : pradhanmantri ujjwala yojna in a nutshell. https://t.co/d0RltF3PnI
bade dino baad luncher paji k darshan huye ... ab pata chala republic day k laddoo kaha chaley gaye,i saw luncher after a lot of days... now I know where the republic day ladoos went
"modi bedi ,good combination",modi and bedi is a good combination
@kitAnurag jab tu beer banega,@kitAnurag when you'll become beer
"@someUSER and won't take much time .i thought your views may be better presented to cycling world in poland if you say sth more"" directly "".",@someUSER and won't take much time. i thought your views may be better presented to cycling world in poland if you say so more directly.
@divyangana sab bike hue hai. (Reply with yahi to scam hai),@divyangana everyone's sold out. (Reply with 'this is the scam')
@premlata_rai tujhse bachne ke liye hi kiya hai aisa,@premlata_rai i did this to evade you
best part of the placement orientation was that hot matki chick.really wanna hook up with her.suggest a way.,the best part of the placement orientation was that hot masters chick. i really want to hook up with her. suggest a way.
Sehwag > Shikhar Dhawan + Rohit Sharma,sehwag is greater than shikhar dhawan and rohit sharma combined
"Jin zakhmon ko waqt bhar chala hai, tum kyu unhe unglee kiye jaa rahe ho?
 #Aadab","why are you persistenty fingering at the wounds that were healed by time?
 #Aadab"
@iamGunjanGrunge phir aa gaya maal maangne.. Tharki @Insane_chorri,@iamGunjanGrunge you've come again to ask for a chick... pervert @Insane_chorri
@tweeting_paltumne to <3 le hi liya hai.. Wapas karo ab @dhaval241086,@tweeting_paltumne you've taken away my heart... return it now @dhaval241086
freshie lag rha h :p,you're looking like a freshman :p
ohhh that is bad....god knows where our educatn systm is goin?,ohhh! that is bad... god knows where our education system is going?
"@batrakopal bhooton ko bhai banate ho tum?
 Lage raho.","@batrakopal you're making ghosts your brother?
 keep at it."
aise nahi bolte sar ko....,you can't say these kind of things to sir...
@engineeroholic pakka kuchh nahi keh sakte,nothing can be said surely
Yeh kaunsa match dekh raha haihttps://twitter.com/sachin_rt/status/850394675366252544 …,which match are you watching? https://twitter.com/sachin_rt/status/850394675366252544
"Iss tweet ko dekhte hi 3 second mein RT kare . Nahi kiya to paap lagela , aaj Mahashivratri ke parv pe Shivji aapko dand denge . Jaldi RT kare .",retweet this tweet within 3 seconds of seeing it. you will have sinned if you don't. today on mahashivratri festival shivji will punish you. retweet quickly.
@Oinkoo Bhook lagi hai tikki khilaa de ^-^,"@Oinkoo i'm hungry, feed me a tikki ^-^"
"Aankh hi na royi hai, ____ bhi tere pyar mein roya hai","not only my eyes, but my heart too cried in your love"
@Ra_Biesaadha desh to hamare yahan shift hokar hamari roti kha raha hai,@Ra_Biesaadha your country has shifted here and is eating our food.
@Atheist_Krishna ye sach mein ek jagah hai! :D,@Atheist_Krishna this really is a place! :D
mere sawal ka jawab koi nhi de sakta ,)
@Dishasatra @premlata_rai ab batao iss mein hum kya kar sakte hai?,@Dishasatra @premlata_rai now tell me what we can do in this matter?
From the boat ... kalijai temple ... awesome !!! #kalijai #kalijaitemple #chilikalake #chilika #odisha https://t.co/ijBh7sZcPy,kalijai temple as seen from the boat is awesome! #kalijai #kalijaitemple #chilikalake #chilika #odisha https://t.co/ijBh7sZcPy
@retardedwriter @Alllahdin :-O Ye kab hua?,@retardedwriter @Alllahdin :-O when did this happen?
"Are ""Bhai Aap Kis Duniya me ji rahe ho .. Alien ho kya 0 Aap Huq ki baat nahi "" Aap Farji Baat kar rahe ho 0 Useless 0 Your are westing your time 0 #TripleTalaq","brother, what world do you live in... are you an alien? you are not talking of rights, you are talking nonsense. useless. your are wasting your time. #TripleTalaq"
"@akshaykanitkar @YearOfRat @Alllahdin @retardedwriter Arrey waah! :D Chalo milte hai sab, daaru peete hai!",@akshaykanitkar @YearOfRat @Alllahdin @retardedwriter wow! :D let's meet and drink beer!
"@VikrantShanbhag hahaha single kahan, azaadi hai na meri dulhan..
 PS: Azaadi desh ki nahi, meri@Parsahiya","@VikrantShanbhag hahaha. i'm not single, freedom is my wife...
 ps: my freedom, not that of the country@Parsahiya"
@scaryhairyman main sota nahi bhai,@scaryhairyman i don't sleep brother
"Saree ke fall sa, kabhi match kiya re?",did you sometimes match with the fall of the saree?
@_GandaBachcha bhai inke yaha miracle hote hai miracle @Pontifex,"@_GandaBachcha brother, miracles happen at their place @Pontifex"
"Pizza toh 1+1 suna tha, ab #SultanTicketsOnPaytm bhi 1+1 Wah @paytm ! http://m.p-y.tm/movtic pic.twitter.com/DVywOA0weG",i have heard about one on one pizza but now #SultanTicketsOnPaytm is also one on one. wow @paytm ! http://m.p-y.tm/movtic pic.twitter.com/DVywOA0weG
"Tamil remake of Udta Punjab - Ek gaanv mein, ek kisaan, uduthaathaa.",tamil remake of udta Punjab - in a village there lived a farmer uduthaathaa.
Women's day saal me kitni baar aata hai?,how many days a year is women's day?
"@abhisar_sharma #Notebandi ki wajah se Srijan scam ujagar hua "" paisa janha Ka tanha fas gya thA "" ye tamacha nahi to or kya hai ..",@abhisar_sharma due to #Notebandi the srijan scam was brought to light. money was stuck wherever it was. if this is not a slap what is it?
RT @ANI_news : Giriraj ji has said it now . But I have been a votary of small family with two children for long : Najma Heptullah https://t.co,retweet @ANI_news : giriraj sir has said it now . but I have been a votary of small family with two children for long : najma heptullah https://t.co
guddu khud kb cycle chlayega… !,) :p
@Madan_Chikna @The_Sleigher HINDI ME RAM MANDIR BANAYENGE,@Madan_Chikna @The_Sleigher we'll make ram temple in hindi
Aise mat karo yaar...plzzz,don't do this... please
Chaddi aur waqt hamesha badalte hai.,underwear and time always change.
"@ShootinThoughts @DDNewsHindi HAHAHAHA jo bhi tagged the , sabko kar diya","@ShootinThoughts @DDNewsHindi HAHAHAHA. whosoever was tagged, i did it for everyone"
@friendlii_ghost 100 rupya tekao aur niklo!,@friendlii_ghost donate 100 rupees and leave!
@KashifSRKian chaav se phisal ke #DilwaleOnSony,@KashifSRKian slipping from the shade #DilwaleOnSony
"So do I, so do I.
 Ek hai anaar yahan, kitne bimaar yahan. Ye dil main kis kis ko du?","so do I, so do I.
there is one pomogrenate but multiple sick people. whom all do I give my heart to?"
Maam Mali me aapke bhai hum bhakt logo ko phir mauka de rahe haihttps://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/667294400632848384 …,"ma'am, your brother is giving is devotees another chance in mali https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/667294400632848384"
"Let's go to a nice resto bar ya and I will have Sangria & Nachos...
 Nahi behen, tujhse zyada pyar mujhe apne mehnat se kamaye paison se hai.","let's go to a nice resto bar. i will have sangria & nachos...
no sister, I love my hard-earned money more than you."
Goli nahi isse katwate hai iskopic.twitter.com/XUhBn3EyP1,"not a bullet, let's have him bitten by this. pic.twitter.com/XUhBn3EyP1"
@dan1shmemon 4 beer pigaya,@dan1shmemon i drank 4 beers
"still my favorite pose of you ,:) pancakes tomorrow ,glad you're here ,we missed dj marcus !sweet dreams !http/URL",this is still my favorite pose of you.:) there are pancakes tomorrow. i'm glad you're here. we missed dj marcus! sweet dreams! http/URL
@dashhtweets han. Jyada hi ho gaya. Ruk jao nahi to bhajji ki batting bhi dekhne ko mil jayegi.,@dashhtweets yes. this is too much. please stop or we'll get to see bhajji's batting.
"*If India TV was present in 1980's*
 #BreakingNews 
 Pyar ne jahan pe rakha haj jhumke kadam ek baar, WAHIN SE KHULA HAI KOI RASTA.","*if india tv was present in 1980's*
 #BreakingNews 
a path opened up from the place where the prancing steps of love fell."
1% ladko ki wajah se 99% ladkiya badnam hoti hai,due to 1% of the boys 99% of the girls are dishonoured
@Ra_Bies Sir.. Cum to aap bhi nahi ho ,)
@friendlii_ghost ye kya hai,@friendlii_ghost what is this?
#Dhoni misbah bhai kuch sikh Captain saahab se 0,"#Dhoni misbah brother, learn something from the captain"
cricket ground me ek jagah sabke sweater pade hote the ...,everyone's sweaters used to be in one place in the cricket groud
l ki power ?mujhe laga s ki power best thi :p,The power of 'i'? i thought the power of 's' was the best  :p
:'( Mujhe bhi gande pun maarne ka adhikar hai.,:'( i too have the right to make bad puns.
line me behosh ho jaunga.. aake dekho.. goa to saaf sutra hai,"i will faint in the queue... come take a look, goa is spic and span"
"@katamulgi pitch pay run banana talent kaa kaam hain , boundary Kay bahar ball bhejna Rohit kaa kaam hain 😎",@katamulgi making runs on the pitch is matter of talent and sending balls outside the voundary is rohit sharma's work
rofl .. filled finger .. wese iss fluent english ka bukhaar har parents ko ek baar zarur chadhta h or bht cute b lagta h .,"rofl... filled finger ... by the way, every parent gets this fluent english fever at some point and its really cute."
@gautamverma23 hehe.. Woh to jaane ke baad hi pata chalega ,) @NaughtyDew_
"@makemytrip #DilKehtaHai
 Hawaon ke paron par ud jaon, 
 Registan ki garm mitti ko chhu kar pighal jaon.","@makemytrip #DilKehtaHai
 fly on the wings of the wind, 
 melt on touching the hot sand of the desert."
"Dream: Mere sapnon ka rajkumar aayega
 Reality: Pankajlal Choube,Balrampur, Uttar Pradesh","dream: my prince charming will arrive
reality: pankajlal choube,balrampur, uttar pradesh"
@bizzarebhide Haha. Kya yaar. 34 centuries maari aur tumhe woh 36 hi yaad hai.,@bizzarebhideh haha. man! 34 centuries were hit but you only remember 36.
"i'm not the go out type .saturday nights are my"" stay up all night with the fellas on 360 ""night ,but i think i'll dive into paterno's bio .","i'm not the 'go out' type. saturday nights are my ""stay up all night with the fellows on 360 "" night, but i think i'll dive into paterno's biodata."
feku ka jhutha abhiyan phir se shuru ........ ajj jhuth ki jhaadi laga de feku ne ..,the braggart's campaign of lies has begun... today the braggart has planted a bush of lies...
@bhak_sala miya kabhi dm bhi dekho,"@bhak_sala sir, have a look at direct messages sometimes"
@Alllahdin haan kal hai,@Alllahdin yes it's tomorrow
Ahmed bacha hai https://twitter.com/akashnegi_11/status/850393904495177728 …,ahmed still remains https://twitter.com/akashnegi_11/status/850393904495177728
guddu ke exams keb se suru ho rahe hai ?????,when are guddu's exams starting?????
@narendramodi_in 0 Notebandi se mera koi fyada na hua ho par khushi ish baat ki kuch corrupt logo ka bohut ghaata hua #Notebandi,@narendramodi_in i didn't benefit from the demoetisation but i'm happy for the fact that corrupt people face huge loss #Notebandi
"lol, 4 peg mein hojayega",laughing out loud. he'll be done in 4 pegs
@MeetUunngLee aaja bhai rote ko daaru ka sahara,@MeetUunngLee come close brother... beer is the crutch of the crying men
aapke itna saara pyar ke liye shukriya :-),thank you for your love :-)
@iamsonisinghal bina paise ke celebrity kaha dekhe hai aapna..batana zara,@iamsonisinghal where have you seen a celebrity without money? please show...
@someUSER @someUSER just saw jennifer hudson on 26th street she looks great !!super skinny,@someUSER @someUSER just saw jennifer hudson on 26th street. she looks great! she's super skinny
@ThePatrator Lawyers bhi kam nahi chaapte bhai,@ThePatrator Lawyers too don't earn less brother.
aise sapne toh humne bhi dekhe thei school mein ..lolz,when I was in school I saw dreams like this too... lol
"lol ..true story !waise ,aaj kal ke baccho ko padha ke sar mein dard hi hota hai :/",lol... true story! teaching the kids of this generation gives me headache :/
"#GST ko Bhakts aise Celebrate kar rahe ""hai jaise 15L account mein aa gaye ho ..@jaalaj1992 @kit2tyagi",#GST is being celebrated by devotees as if 15 lacs have been deposited in their accounts@jaalaj1992 @kit2tyagi
"Ho rahi development ke naam par sirf bakwaas 
 #NitishKaNakliVikas","nonsense is taking place in the name of development
 #NitishKaNakliVikas"
@JatinKiDuniya chitting kiya tu,@JatinKiDuniya you've cheated
"Aao Khelen #GoWTwisted
 Hum keh ke khelengehttps://twitter.com/happlyunmarried/status/845176924565491717 …","let's play #GoWTwisted
i'll tell and play https://twitter.com/happlyunmarried/status/845176924565491717 …"
"@msisodia @ArvindKejriwal aap to na bolo to hi thik ""h nirbhaya case wale ko silai machine nd 10k rs apke kejriwal ne hi diye the",@msisodia @ArvindKejriwal its better if you don't talk. the person who gave nirbhaya case criminal a sewing machine and 10000 rupees was none other than your kejriwal
"Pranav Dhanawade -Ek shirt dikhaao.
 Shopkeeper-Ye lo. 1000 ka hai. Aur ispe 50% off hai.
 Pranav Dhanawade-Nahi chchiye. Poore 1000 doonga.","pranav dhanawade- show me a shirt.
 shopkeeper- take this. it's worth 1000 and there's 50% off.
 pranav dhanawade- i don't want it. i'll give the full 1000."
@PureNautanki #InstaNever but mujhe BBM se uda ke acha nahi kiya tha,@PureNautanki #InstaNever but you didn't do good by removing me from blackberry messenger
"@someUSER aw lucky ,i was sat on my aunt's couch somewhere in germany at the time watching the livestream and bawling my eyes out omg",@someUSER aww... you're lucky! i was sitting on my aunt's couch somewhere in germany at the time watching the livestream and bawling my eyes out. oh my god!
"Om Puri- journey from narrator at historical Bharat Ek Khoj to Jodha-Akbar ""yeh dharawahik kisi bhi aitihasik pramanikta ka dawa nahi karta""","om puri- journey from narrator at historical bharat ek khoj; to jodha-akbar ""this serial does not claim any historical credentials."""
"@tan_tripathi waise uske sentence ka second part sahi hai. Acche schools mein padhne ke baad bhi log IM, ISIS or 9/11 karte hain :)",@tan_tripathi by the way the second part of his sentence is correct. even after studying in good schools people join im and isis or do attacks like 9/11 :)
4 din pehle hi bol diya tha https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/890168968912269312 …,i told you 4 days before https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/890168968912269312
@tweeting_pal haan.. tum aur maze le lo :) @Joydas,@tweeting_pal yes.. you make more fun :) @Joydas
iske lie bahut ladai ki hai bhai se :p,i've fought a lot with my brother for this :p
Dont Forget .. All becoz of Nehra's tips to Dhoni against Bangladesh is the main reason to reach the semi final .. #IndvsAus #WT20,don't forget... nehra's tips to dhoni against bangladesh is on of the main reasons we reached the semi final .. #IndvsAus #WT20
go hug her n say sory.tel her hw much u love her :) thats it...go 4 a date wid her,go hug her and say sorry.tell her how much you love her :) that's it... go for a date with her
"if san antonio continues to play like they did tonight with little help from parker in the 1st half &amp; no ginobili ,it'll be a great season !","if san antonio continues to play like they did tonight, with little help from parker in the first half and no ginobili, it'll be a great season !"
"achha hai achha hai, isse CV pe daalna!!","good, good... put it in your cv!!"
"Sabse zyada khushi to Star Sports waalo ko ho rahi hogi , unhe ' Jai Ho ' ke liye ek naya match jo mil gaya . #IndvsSA",star sports people would be the happiest because they found a new match for ' jai ho '. #IndvsSA
@Sychlops udhar toh baarish rukti bhi nahi 2-3 din,@Sychlops there the rain doesn't stop for 2-3 days
Nahi bhai. Tu akela hi chaat le.https://twitter.com/kamaalrkhan/status/639677927236349952 …,no brother. you lick it alone. https://twitter.com/kamaalrkhan/status/639677927236349952
@Kahaanify gareebo ki Aishwarya Rai,@Kahaanify poor man's aishwarya rai
@premlata_rai @MeetUunngLee bahot hasi aarahi hai tujhe? Hain?,@premlata_rai @MeetUunngLee you're laughing a lot aren't  you? huh?
"jidhar dekhta hun .wherever i hear ,har taraf sirf kejriwal .is liye sub bolo .5sal kejriwal","wherever i see, wherever i hear there's kejriwal. that's why let's all say ""kejriwal for 5 years"""
chargers may go 8-8 but that will make playoffs in afc ...nfc teams must win 10 games !fact !@someUSER @someUSER @someUSER @someUSER,chargers may go 8-8 but that will make playoffs in afc. nfc teams must win 10 games. that is the fact! @someUSER @someUSER @someUSER @someUSER
@ShraddhaKapoor @SrBachchan @irrfan_k @deepikapadukone bhai problem me hain tumhe peeku ki padi hai !,@ShraddhaKapoor @SrBachchan @irrfan_k @deepikapadukone brother is in trouble and you still care about piku!
"Yeh lo 0 Isko kaun job dega bhai ? Yeh Company ke tukde honge "" Inshaallah ke naare lagayega @kanhaiyajnusu @Shehla_Rashid #jnu","see this... who will give him a job brother? they'll break down the company and yell slogans of ""inshaallah"" @kanhaiyajnusu @Shehla_Rashid #jnu"
Bibi Nirbhaya rape ke musalmaan ko bhool gayee ??https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/816599690460405760 …,madam did you forget the muslims of the nirbhaya rape?? https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/816599690460405760
@CatWomaniya tu kyu jal rahi hai?,@CatWomaniya why are you jealous?
@someUSER my birthday on february .my friends think it's for valentine's day but i don't believe so .:(,@someUSER my birthday is in february. my friends think it's because of valentine's day but i don't believe so .:(
kyun bachhe ki jaan le rahe ho?,why are you killing the child?
@aanchalator paisa bolta hai,@aanchalator money speaks
"Aam Aadmi Panty ke sadasya ho! Haha, shukriya","i'm a member of aam aadmi panty ! Haha, thank you"
yaar commerce wale log aisa kya kha ke aate hein 95% toh jaise bacho ka khel ho -_-,man! what do commerce students eat that makes getting 95% child's play? -_-
@Miss_Ankiita hahaa.. Bohot jal gayee bechare ki.. Raat bhar ice lagaega bechara @NavenduSingh_ @IntellectsOfBJP,@Miss_Ankiita hahaa... he was burnt a lot... the helpless guy was rubbing ice all night @NavenduSingh_ @IntellectsOfBJP
hehehe .. hum to chalk ke bahane lunch kar ke aate the .. phir lunch time me masti,hehehe ... we would go for lunch with the excuse of getting chalk ... then we had fun during lunchtime
Cong leaders ... behti hawa sa tha woh ... kaha gaya ussey dundo #WhereIsRahul,congress leaders : He was like the flowing winds... find where did he go #WhereIsRahul
@PeaceWarrior__ ODI ka hai usmein?,@PeaceWarrior__ is odi's there in it ?
"@twinitisha achha, ab aankhein khuli hai...still sleepy... Gonna zzzzzzz more","@twinitisha ok, now my eyes are open but i'm still sleepy. i'm going to sleep more"
@someUSER are u coming up the 17th .davis is playing hawaii for vball so we will see chris webb and scott wong .ur mom &amp, my mom are !
"@BolshoyBooze @DefucktiveHumor @HaramiParindey kuch sites abhi chalu hai, yaha ss mat daal wo bhi ban ho jayegi",@BolshoyBooze @DefucktiveHumor @HaramiParindey some sites are still working. don't put screenshots here or they will be banned
aapke liye dil aur ghar ke darwaaze hamesha khule hai. Bas ek awaaz lagao. @retardedwriter @Alllahdin,for you the doors of my heart and hearth are both open. just give me a call. @retardedwriter @Alllahdin
beta tum rhne do .... tumse naa ho payega,son leave it .... you won't be able to do this
"O naadan parindey ghar aaja' 
 
 - This song was written for Modi Sir","o immature bird come home 
 
 - this song was written for modi sir"
@ruchikokcha aapne to kha liya shaadi ka laddoo.. hume bhi khane do,@ruchikokcha you had marriage laddoos... let me eat too
Mujhe aisa kyu lag Raha hain ke #GST ke naam pe government Aur taqleef dene waali hain !!!,why do i feel that the goernment is going to give us more more trouble i the name of #GST!
@Atheist_Krishna Sir to sir hai @doctoratlarge,@Atheist_Krishna sir is sir @doctoratlarge
@ExSecular LOL.. Rana aunty dawai lena bhool gayee @RanaAyyub,@ExSecular lol... rana aunty forgot to take her medicine @RanaAyyub
RT JasvirSjasvir : RT jsingh341 : RT insan_paul : RT ChandniGodara : : 5 crore followers of Gurmeetramrahim #MustWatchMSG for d sake of promise,5 crore followers of gurmeetramrahim #MustWatchMSG for the sake of promise
@ttrinadasgupta @ruchikokcha @Alllahdin @retardedwriter dil ka haal sine dilwala,@ttrinadasgupta @ruchikokcha @Alllahdin @retardedwriter people with big heart listen to the matters of the heart
LOL! Itne bade bhi ambitions nahi hai. Desh ka damaad nahi banna,lol! i don't have such huge ambitions. i don't want to become the son-in-law of the country
"#FillTheBlank
 Bahot bhola hai bechara....","#FillTheBlank
he is very innocent..."
"#216 : Have you ever gone out on a terrible date and came home and thought \ "" did I really shave my pubic hair for this\ ""","#216 : have you ever gone out on a terrible date and come home and thought "" did i really shave my pubic hair for this"" ?"
Mitroon ! Aaj Rat 12 baje se #Bitcoin ka leagal tender amaanya hoga !,friends! from 12 tonight #Bitcoin will be invalid as legal tender!
dd programs we used to watch.. sometimes with tractor battery when we dont have light etc :),"we used to watch dd programs, sometimes using tractor battery when we didn't have lights,etc :)"
"Number #03 @the_goofy_bug 
 Iske videos dekh kar isse pyar hojana hai, by God.
 #WomenToFollow","number #03 @the_goofy_bug 
 i swear by God that you'll fall in love with her after seeing her videos.
 #WomenToFollow"
Sonam Gupta bewafa hai !!pic.twitter.com/5Nz2QUk15Q,sonam gupta is unfaithful!! pic.twitter.com/5Nz2QUk15Q
Do dil mil rahe hai.https://twitter.com/SwatiJoshi122/status/506660742058098688 …,two hearts are meeting. https://twitter.com/SwatiJoshi122/status/506660742058098688
guddu bade hokar pakka engineer banega ....,guddu will grow up to become an engineer...
"Dhoni to Kohli's parents: ""Bahut shaitan ho gaya hai. Kal meri hi seat par akar beth gaya""","dhoni to kohli's parents: ""he's become very naughty. yesterday he came and sat on my seat"""
"tere paas ek week se phone aaya hai, tune 20-25 themes to daal di hai","you have had the phone for one week, you'd have put 20-25 themes on already"
"@AazadPanchhi Kyu Manali, pasand nahi tumhe?","@AazadPanchhi why manali, you don't like it?"
"@TandonRaveena Ishq tujhse hogaya hai ankhiyan mila de, aa meri life bana de! Fan. Bigger than jabra.","@TandonRaveena i fell in love with you, let our eyes meet. come make my life! fan. bigger than forced."
@hitlerbai na janmo ka ho bandhan,@hitlerbai May our bond last 9 lives
@someUSER show at iu was live !chicago tomorrow @ reggie's with @someUSER &amp, boldy blocks !
jisse maine abtak rs2000 se jyada earn kar liye hai .aap bhi try karke dekhe .,i've earned more than Rupees 2000 from this. you try it too.
guddu ke daddy ka jesus .:),guddu's daddy's jesus:)
omg .random bel ami tv spot - canada - it'll be premiering on the movie network november 23rd :),"omg! random bel ami tv spot, canada will be premiering on the movie network on november 23."
Tab bhi A4 par wife ka photo print karke ke gaya tha? Tab bhi do aur log saath mein the? Lolhttps://twitter.com/faizanpatel/status/763232541356728320 …,did you take an a4 photo print of your wife then too? there were two more people with you then too? lol https://twitter.com/faizanpatel/status/763232541356728320
@Amitranjan1432u Ha ha sir yahin hain : ),@Amitranjan1432u yes sir this is it : )
english newspaper laga do :),put english newspaper :)
Kise.. aapna number de k jao sallu bhai...,go after giving your number to someone sallu brother...
"Osama: Bhai, ye cash deposit kar do..
 SBI Employee : Lunch time hai, baad main aana...
 Osama:pic.twitter.com/PqdWtBws1o","osama: brother, please deposit this cash...
 sbi employee : it's lunch time, come later...
osama: pic.twitter.com/PqdWtBws1o"
mammi hi bigadti hai ...,mom's the one who spoils ...
@DefucktiveHumor @Sarcaism_ aaj hi 900 ka kiya be,@DefucktiveHumor @Sarcaism_  i did for 900 just today
#surgicalstrike ka saboot @adgpi se mangane wale Pakistani dalal @ArvindKejriwal ISI ki baat na kare to hi acha hai . @AamAadm,it would be good if the Pakistani broker @ArvindKejriwal who asked for the proof of #surgicalstrike from @adgpi doesn't talk of isi. @AamAadm
"@someUSER have a great time tomorrow,and maybe can you come to belgium?!:d xx",@someUSER have a great time tomorrow! maybe come to belgium?! :d 
@kavitabika aaj mera vrat hai,@kavitabika today i'm on a fast
"@SrBachchan Mumbai me har kuch "" had se zyaada "" he ! Har kadam ek naya #YUDH he ...!!","@SrBachchan in mumbai everything is ""beyond limit"" ! every step is a new #YUDH...!!"
@indiantweeter chup kar minority,@indiantweeter shut up minority
@lady_gabbar @SocialBitterfly Tweet likh ke kone mein chhip ke wait kar rahi thi ke kis pe bouncer maarun,@lady_gabbar @SocialBitterfly after writing the tweet i was hiding in a corner waiting to pounce on someone
Yahi Dhoni fan Dhoni ke haters badhate hain #INDvSL,these dhoni fans are the ones who increase the number of dhoni haters #INDvSL
kitna bhi daant nikalo par guddu ki hasi ka koi jod nahi ..:d :d asal khushi aisi hi hoti hai garbage bin :),"how much ever you show your teeth, there is no competition to guddu's smile. this is true happiness, garbage bin."
"Yaar aaoke BF ki kahani doosre ladkon ko na sunao, aapke pyar ki aatmakatha aap hi ko mubarak..","hey girl, don't narrate the stories about your boyfriend to other boys. keep your love story to yourself."
"i'm going to anthony hamilton at dar constitution hall in washington ,dc - sep 15 http/URL",i'm going to see anthony hamilton at the daughters of american revolution constitution hall in washington dc on september 15 http/URL
front me bhi ek special small seat hoti thi :),there's a special small seat in the front too :)
"@someUSER much of last season ,too ,esp 2nd half .tho i loved jack white ,and mick jagger with arcade fire / foo fighters was amazing .","@someUSER much of last season too especially second half. though i loved jack white and mick jagger with arcade fire's ""foo fighters"" was amazing ."
arianators please help me .i'm a girl who's body is very sore and just asking for ariana &amp, jennette's goodluck for tomorrow .please :(
kajri bachcho ki kasam khata h ... ab nhi bhagega... jhutha bhagoda,kajri has sworn on children that he'll not run away this time... lying deserter
"@kamaalrkhan Han bhai, chori ki aadat ek bar pad jaye to aasani se jati nahi.","@kamaalrkhan yes brother, once you get addicted to chicks, it's not easy to let go."
@_SandSurfer mujhe wohi sak hai,@_SandSurfer i suspect the same
"@Oinkoo :/
 Big hug to my bhaanji","@Oinkoo :/
big hug to my niece"
"Hi @ShaadiDotCom, achhi item chahiye, shaadi karne ko maangtay. Dene ka bhaav batao","hi @ShaadiDotCom, i want a good item because i want to get married. name your price"
@TrendsMumbai @HathwalaThakur waah bhai.. Par kyu ??,@TrendsMumbai @HathwalaThakur wow brother... but why??
"""Ghar me naya oonth aaya hai.. Abba jaan aaj uski ke saath soyenge""
 
 #TweetLikeAPakistani","""there's a new camel in the house... beloved father, today I will sleep with him""
 
 #TweetLikeAPakistani"
dekhna aaj pakka dhoni retirement le lega .... :-(,"just watch, dhoni will definately retire today .... :-("
@trulymonica bat sahi hai par madam ki neeyat par hamesha shaq kiya ka sakta hai :D,"@trulimonika, it's true, but madam's intentions can always be doubted"
"Ayesha 'Abe Iske Dekh Kitna Bade Hai' Takia

#CelebMiddleNames","""ayesha 'see how big she has' takia # celebmiddlenames """
@FaaduTweets kaash woh nadi daru ki hoti,@fadutweets wish that was a river of liqour
"@Urban_Sanyaasi ek tum ho aur ek woh hai

Koi deewana kehta hai.. Koi pagal samajhta hai wala","""@urban_sanyaasi you are one and he is one somebody says lover .. someone thinks crazy """
@RowdyTalks Rowdy bhai 2 kash maaro aur so jao,@rowdytalks rowdy smoke 2 puffs and sleep
@Atheist_Krishna Beta bade ise kehte haipic.twitter.com/JJd1TJRwfH,"@atheist_krishna child, adults call this picture. twitter.com/jjd1tjrwfh"
"*obama calls modi...*
""is hello tune ko copy karne ke liye star aur 9 dabayein... shulkk laa...""","* obama calls modi ... *"""" press the star and 9 to copy this hello tune ... chark la ... """""
@anti_virus_ Accha ! Haan Wella Banda,@anti_virus_accha ! yes free boy
@Alllahdin LOL! Bhai isse bach ke rehna ye pagal hai!!,"@alladin lol! brother, he is crazy, stay away from him !!"
kya yr maine b mis kr diya #uhh,"damn man, even i missed it"
@BakwasRadio @Ra_Bies tera ishq sufiyana and DP kaatilaana,@bakwasradio @ra_bies your love is baffling and dp is killing
RT @Only1swapOneal : Cheete ki chaal baaz ki nazar aur world cup me india se pak harne mein sandeh nahi karte #IndvsPak #ICCT20WORLDCUP2016 …,"rt @only1swaponeal : cheetah's walk, eagle's vision and pakistan losing to india in worldcup don’t hesitate"
super awesome .  .  . kaha se sochte ho bhai :) (y),super awesome . . how do you think brother
salman khan to ghode bech ke sogaye hoge. aur yahan machi market banare sab . sojao salman ke deewano,"salman khan slept deeply and here is making fish market, go sleep all salman khan fans"
naye patakhe kharid lo yaar ye purane bomb to fuss ho gye h ab tak .  .  .  .  .,"buy new firecrackers, these old bombs are not working. . . . ."
"Vodafone pe to Zedge bhi nahi khulta, porn ghanta khulega!","even zedge wouldn't open on vodafone, porn obviously won't"
"@Ra_Bies absolute show off hai, I love wine ya. Kabhi rooh afza ke uppar kuch nahi peeya hoga.","@ra_bies absolute show off, i love wine. would'nt have even tried rooh afza till now"
mohabbt hai aur btana v nhi aata feel toh kra skte ho na  .  .  # u know what i mean # pure pleasure at best :d,"love is there and i dont even know how to tell, atleast you can feel it . . #u know what i mean # pure pleasure at best: d"
"haha, ye kaha hai mein bhi aata hu","haha, where if he ? even i will go"
Arre iss chutiye ki sui ab tak wahi atki haihttps://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/754562795400630272 …,are this bastard's needle is still stuck there onlyhttps://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/754562795400630272â …
sirf bolega .  .  ya kuch karega v .  .  .,are you just going to talk . . or will you do something as well . . .
"RT @drshraddha16 : @RituRathaur @kanhaiyajnusu @sagarikaghose @BDUTT @sardesairajdeep 3000 salary hai na tere baap ki , to kuch kaam dham kar ..",rt @drshraddha16 : @riturathaur @kanhaiyajnusu @sagarikaghose @bdutt @sardesairajdeep your father's salary is 3000 right. so do some work
@LifelessTweep sidha bichari ko dekhna tha match gaya bhar me ri8 😒😐 bichari noori ko pata chalega what will she think ??,@lifelesstweep wanted to see the poor thing let the match go in drain. if that poor noori finds out what will she think?
@dedh_battery samaj ni aaya,@dedh_battery didn't understand
#Pandey ji kaha h app hum log kb se wait kar rahe h ap k #swagat k liye,#pandey where are you we are waiting to welcome you #swagat k liye
"Tripal Talaq bolne se 3 saal ki Jail ""hogi Jail jane ke baad 3 saal tak Uski #BIWI ko Government palegi kya...??? Uska kharcha koun sambhalega...??","speaking of triple divorce will lead to 3 years in jail. ""after going to jail, will government take care of her wife ?. ... who will handle her expenses ... ??"
@oomph_wali Modi ji ko gay kehne wali yaha gyaan de rahi hai  @TrulyMonica @hemalitanna,@oomph_wali the one who said modi is gay is giving knowledge @trulymonica @hemalitanna
Ab Dhoni hi sahara hai.,now dhoni is the only support
Kamal ki movie hai kasam se dhum macheg dhum..Salman sir....i love you.<3,awesome movie this movie will rock i swear . . salman sir….i love you. <3
"aise ich, majje aarahe hai","wish this way, having fun"
Judge : Batao #Dhoni ne resign kyu kya ?,judge : tell why did #dhoni resign ?
Haha Eagerly Waited To See @princenarula88 Ur Intro Bhai 😂😂 Zyada Nahi Bola Aapko 😂😂 Bach Gaye 💃💃 @Comedy_N_Bachao 👌 https://t.co/D1g60nfAHl,haha eagerly waited to see @pricenarula88 ur intro bro. . didn't say much to you . . saved . . @comedy_n_bachao . .https://t.co/d1g60nfahl
@Shahrcasm @Insane_chorri timing hota hai yaar,@shahrcasm @insane_chorri there is a timing dude
6 minutes deep in #MannKiBaat and you go like .. aur nahi bhai maaf kar,6 minutes deep in #mannkibaat and you go like .. no bro please forgive me
Bus ek dusre ki taang khichte raho #Indvspak https://t.co/aJrfkmhU7m,just keep pulling each other's legs. # indavspak http: //tco/ajrafkham 7
"@MeetUunngLee ladkiyon ko galat ladke pasand aate hai, isiliye him dono jaie smart bandho ke paas koi nahi hai </3","@ meetuunnglee girls like wrong boys, that's why smart boys like us have no one"
"jab gaurakchak kuch krte hai to wo #MannKiBaat me ati hai "" jab RSS worker ko mara jata hai tab #MannKiBaat me kyu nhi bolte ?",when gaurakchak do something it comes to #mannkibaat when an rss worker gets killed then why don’t they tell in #mannkibaat
Mahashivratri ki hardik shubkamnayein ! Shiva the Adiyogi ' may every1 be blessed with the grace of meditation . Om ! Om ! Om Namah Shivaya :),mahashivratri's best wishes ! shiva the adiyogi ' may everyone be blessed with the grace of meditation . om ! om ! om namah shivaya :)
"@Alllahdin aaj bhi peene ka dil ho raha hai yaar, bhai @retardedwriter aate aate tuborg strong le aa :-P","@alllahdin i want to drink even today, brother @retardedwriter bring tuborg strong while coming"
@Xxtra_Edge @Rishita_x theek hai jo tujhe acha lage,@xxtra_edge @rishita_x ok whatever you like
@adrashyababa Babulal Gaur ki bus hai  @abhishekprsnl,@adrashyababa it is babulal gaur's bus @abhishekprsnl
Modi mission : 2 establish world brotherhood...grt man grt thinking @ Modi : a boon 2 earth,modi mission : to establish world brotherhood...great man great thinking @ modi : a boon to earth
dat khushi on guddu's face .  .  . when sir asked him to bring on chalk .  . epic :d :d,that happiness on guddu's face . . when sir asked him to bring chalk . . epic
okk bhai jaan...:),okk brother
"Haan,  Sab Modiji ki galati hai","yes, sir it is modiji's fault"
"@tdmehta20 @amishra2417 @Team_JodhaAkbar Wishing You happy happy MAHASHIVRATRI Bhole baba , aap sab par apni aseem kripa banaye rakhe .","@tdmehta20 @amishra2417 @team_jodhaakbar wishing you happy happy mahashivratri may bhole baba , give his blessings to everyone of you ."
@AapChutiyeHain Lol. Magar won padhna nahi aata warna main abhi koi baba hota,"@aapchutiyehain lol . but i don’t know how to read that, else even i would have been a baba"
@akshaykanitkar Saare bhai saath me jaenge aur Tweet up karenge @Atheist_Krishna,@akshaykantikar all brother will go together and will tweet up @atheist_krishna
"#noteban or #GST ke baad market ki watt lagi ""hi or #modi ne apne logo ko market me khulla chor diya taki chahal pahal dikhe. #Gajabtraffic","after #noteban or #gstmarket has been watered ""hi or #modi have sent people in the market open so that no hustle bustle can be seen #gajabtraffic"
Le bhai @iamGunjanGrunge tera kat gaya https://twitter.com/runjhunmehrotra/status/774520010672902144 …,take this brother @iamgunjangrunge you have been fooled https://twitter.com/runjhunmehrotra/status/774520010672902144â …
@Atheist_Krishna ab to karna hi padega @HathwalaThakur @Ra_Bies,@atheist_krishna now i will have to do it @hathwalathakur @ra_bies
"In ""1942 call was karenge ya ""marenge' #today it's karenge aur kar ke rahenge': #PMModi","in ""1942 call was will do it or"" will die' #todays its will do it and will do it ' #pmmodi"
@MeetUunngLee LOL! Bahut hi ghatiya janta hai bhai,@meetuunnglee lol! this crowd is very bad
"@Juuism @coolfunnytshirt Mil gaya hai launda , Aapka Baba Sabka BaBa RahulBaba #WhereIsRahulGandhi #WhereIsRahul Uttarakhand me hai . Camping","@juuism @coolfunnytshirt found the boy, your father everyone's father rahulbaba #whereisrahulgandhi #whereisrahul in uttrakhand camping."
Kal haare to Ghar Wapsi.. Jeete to Cup Wapsi.. #CWC15,tomorrow if lost then come back home .. if won bring back cup. #cwc15
@TweetErrant Arey sahi bowling kar raha hai. Naujawano ka bharosa nahi. Faila dete hain gendbaazi.,@tweeterrant he is doing good bowling. cant trust young people. they mess up bowling
"Kaun hai yeh log, kahaan se aate hai yeh log?https://twitter.com/AliSohrab007/status/908209693629272064 …","who are these people, where do they come from?https://twitter.com/alisohrab007/status/908209693629272064â …"
Is chinese virat kohli ko chalta karo yaar.,get rid of this chinese virat kohli
Hmare bina tera koi wajood nhi #salman ...sale pathano k nam p kalank h tu,you are nothing without us #salman.. you are a blur in the name of pathan
@mamtan14 baki yaad nahi aa rahe,@mamtan14 rest i cant remember
Abhi abhi gym ke baad beer pee aur pizza khaya..,just now drank beer and ate pizza after gym
AB aaya oonth pahad ke neeche !!,now came camel under the mountain
"haan bhai ye chahiye, kuch kar @ROFLaaLa","yes brother i want this, do something @roflaala"
"Kaise kahein hum, pyar ne humko kya kya khel dikhayehttps://twitter.com/BabajiKiiBooty/status/738810553469173764 …","how do i tell you, what all games have love shown me https://twitter.com/babajikiibooty/status/738810553469173764â â€"
"shayad kisi aur ko bnaya ho tere liye jo deserve krti ho tujhe  ,  tty just move on n be stay happy :)","maybe there is someone else made for you who deserves you, just move on and stay happy"
aur ram naam satya ho gaya :p,and ram's name will be truth
@Alllahdin aaja phir se chutti lekar,@alllahdin take leave and come again
"@Sarcaism_ late ho gaya, match nahi dekhi :/","@sarcaism_ got late, didn’t see the match"
"sugam bhaiiii ,  ye harampana kitni baar kiya hai koi ginti hi nai .  .  :p","sugam brother, how many time did you do this stupidness theres no count"
score is 1 - 1 . now . BTW the kid never forgot the riding lessons . He still proudly claims to have learnt riding on a new CBZ .. 13 yrs ago .,score is 1 - 1 . now . by the way the kid never forgot the riding lessons . he still proudly claims to have learnt riding on a new cbz .. 13 yrs ago .
"bilkul bhi nahi, naachna hai mujhe","never, i want to dance"
sega ki cassette sirf sega mein hi lagti hai .  .  . lolz,sega's cassette only plays in sega. . lolz
"paisa bhai, bahot paisa","money brother, a lot of money"
calcutta bhi aao yaar .  .  . yaha bhi to book fair hota hai,come to calcutta also . . book fair also happens here
bhawnao me beh gya londa :p,caught in feelings boy
@zzoker @MohitParmarr mujhe bhi,@zzoker @mohitparmarr me too
#Jio : Aaj is site ka dns resolve karke nahi denge,#jio : today we will not resolve this site's dns
tum saaf karne aaye the kya? Chhod na yaar.,did you come to clean? leaveit buddy
"@KShisodia @Miss_Ankiita @MeetUunngLee tumne Hi bola, slow jaane. Main toh phone karne bhi taiyaar tha ",@kshisodia @miss_ankiita @meetuunnglee you guys said to go slow. i was even ready to call
" "" eleanor was just a fan when she met louis ""  it's funny bc she probaly wasnt a fan like she may have known who they were but she wasn't a fan",""" eleanor was just a fan when she met louis ""it's funny she probably wasnt a fan like she may have known who they were but she wasn't a fan"
Ye mere saath bhi hua hai </3https://twitter.com/happlyunmarried/status/662528416000798720 …,this has happened with me also </3https://twitter.com/happlyunmarried/status/662528416000798720â …
bas kar pagale .  .  .  . rulayega kya !,stop it idiot . . don’t make me cry
"Jab saamne wala gaali dene pe utar jaaye, samjho ki uske right buttons daba diye tumne #TwitterTrollingTips","when the other person resorts to abuses, be assured you have hit his nerves"
":'( mujhe koi pun nahi aaraha iss par, tinda ko kaunse kachre dabbe mein phenku ye soch raha hu","cant think of a pun on this, i am thinking where to dump this apple gourd"
"@retardedwriter @MeetUunngLee haan yaar, isiliye bola maine bhi :'(","@retardedwriter @meetuunnglee yes brother, that’s why i said it"
"Jai Hind Aunty! Aaj jashn hoga, bharat ka jashn, asli swaad ka jashn, vimal ke 25 saal ka jashn. Daane daane mein mutton ka swad","jai hind aunty! today we will celebrate, india's festival, festival of real taste, festival of 25 years of vimal. every grain has the essence of saffron"
@twinitisha bhagwaan kare meri umar bhi aapko lag jaye,@twinitisha may god bless you with my age
"@drpoonam abhi hu yahan, gaya mahi ab tak :-/","@drpoonam right now i am here, mahi has gone already"
"haan, ghar par diwaar pe bhi photocpy lagayi thi, sandas mein bhi, maathe par bhi lagaya tha ek baar toh","yes , i put photocopy at the wall, in toilet and even on my forehead once"
@menon_v kya baat hai!,@menon_v wow!
"Thanks to #HugDay mind has been humming tatti aayi hai aayi hai tatti aayi hai, entire day.",thanks to #hugday mind has been humming poop is coming poop is coming entire day
"@MeetUunngLee hahahah! Mujhe bhi madad karna ladki uthaane ke liye, dhund kar toh milne se rahi!","@meetuunnglee help me also to find girl, i cant get one like this"
@kapilv20012001 @rahulkanwal @sardesairajdeep :D accha hai . kaafi love stories aise hi shuru hoti hain ...,@kapilv20012001 @rahulkanwal @sardesairajdeepnice . . many love stories start like this only
@jsduggal arey apni team ka hausla badhana hamara kaam hai . @msdhoni,@jsduggal its our duty to lift the motivation of our team . @msdhoni
@runjhunmehrotra ab dentist main ho ke tum?Mazaak bana rakha hai mera. Shya,@runjhunmehrotra are you in dentist now? made of joke of myself
Agr time mile to mujhse bhi bat kar kena...,"if you find some time, then talk to me also"
wide ball ka decision empire ye sooch ke deta tha ke kulfi kon khilayeega .  .  :),umpire used to give the decision of wide ball based on who will treat him with a kulfi
guddu kisi field mein toh acha hai .  .  .,guddu is atleast good in some field
Ek masoom sa sawal zahan me baar baar aa raha h ye saare ina'am with #GST hain ya without GST.. @BJP4India,one innocent question is coming to me again and again that these gifts are with #gst or without gst . .@bjp4india
"@PushprajZala haha. na bhai, badha etla mate j jue chhe ","@pushprajzala haha, no brother, everyone sees because of that only"
Aaj kal @narendramodi ji ke samne @ArvindKejriwal ji aur #Manmohansingh ji aache and amazing lagne lage hain,"nowadays, #manmohansingh is starting to look good and amazing infront of @narendramodi and @arvindkejriwal"
@tweeting_pal Mat jaa iss dusht paapo ki baate sunne @sardesairajdeep,@tweeting_pal don’t go to listen to this evil sinner @sardesairajdeep
"maine toh issue DM par bhi bulaya, number bhi maanga magar pyar toh isse hai nahi @LoKarDi_RT","i even brought the issue on dm, even asked number but she doesn't have love @lokardi_rt"
@akshaykanitkar LOL bhai ko 6 peg pi lene do @BeingSalmanKhan,@akshaykantikar lol let him drink 6 pegs @beingsalmankhan
jyada emptional nhi hote the .  .  :p :(,didn't get too emotional
tumko cute samajh mein aata hai?,do you understand cute?
@akshaykanitkar @Alllahdin @BhuvanRajora ye @KajuBadamChor hai,@akshaykanitkar @alllahdin @bhuvanrajora this is @kajubadamchor
Don't knw whos gonna win #WT20 but Afghanistan already won hearts of the billions ... afghan jalebi hahaha #WIvsAFG #AFGvWI #Cricket,don't know who's going to win #wt20 but afghanistan already won hearts of the billions ... afghan jalebi hahaha #wivsafg #afgvwi #cricket
@Moskvaa ab @UnSubtleDesi mujhe gaali degi,@moskvaa now @unsubtledesi will curse me
"Bhai shaadi aur aadhaar card jitne ho, utna achcha ","brother, marriage and aadhar card, more the better"
Koi @narendramodi ji ko bataye ki #diwali k time jo mar mar k kaam kar rahe hain woh CA’s hi hain coz of ur misgovernance #gst #taxaudit,someone tell @narendramodi that during #diwali whoever are working are cas only because of your misgovernance#gst #taxaudit
@Miss_Ankiita oh haan.. unka bhi kuch imaan hota hai.. ye to.. nevermind,@miss_ankiita oh yes . . they also have some respect . . nevermind
"Jab ye iski ""biwi bahu beti ke sath hoga tab pata chalega ki #TripleTalaq kya hai.....",when he will be with his wife and daughter then he will understand what is #tripletalaq
"Haha! Thanks aunty. Aankhein kholna zaroori hai, aaakhir kab tak mujh jaisa smart, handsome aur honiyaar ladka single rahega?","haha! thanks aunty. it is necessary to open eyes, till what time a smart, handsome and capable guy like me stay single?"
" "" @someUSER i want tang jun for christmas .  ""  i want him on valentines as well !  !  ! "," "" @someuser i want tang jun for christmas .  ""  i want him on valentines as well !  !  ! "
Meira Kumar: Baith jaiye baith jaiye..pic.twitter.com/KvIM078Hpu,meira kumar: sit down sit down. pic.twitter.com/kvim078hpu
"Delhi walo ko #bright #sunlight nai mil ""rahi #bright #future kahan se milega.",people in delhi can't get #bright #sunlight how will they get #bright #future
@rahulroushan Shanti hi mera bhushan hai,@rahulroushan peace is my grace.
.@SimplyShilpi_89 han jaise tune to ek tweet karke poori duniya ki mahilao ka udhar kar diya.aadmi ko gaali dena women empowerment nahi hota,.@simplyshilpi_89 as if your one tweet led to the betterment of women all over the world. cussing men is not women empowerment. 
"Bhaiyya andheri chaloge ? 
NAHI. 
Fir UP jaao.","brother will you come to andheri ? 
no. 
then go to up."
@Itsmy_rule hahahaa.. Maza aa gaya dekh kar,@itsmy_rule haha.. i had fun watching this
@ChawalaRiya Ya they should :( Jaldi karo ab Photos toh aagayi hai announcemnt bhi kardo pls,"@chawalariya yes they should. do it fast. the photos are here, now do the announcement as well."
"Star wars Hindi is amazing, because ""Divya shakti tumhare saath rahe"" ","star wars hindi is amazing, because ""let the force be with you."" "
@AyishaBaloch @main_tera_baap khel lo abhi hisab barabar kar lete hai,"@ayishabaloch @main_tera_baap play now, we will do the settlement."
bhai ne kaha hai ki wo busy hai....6 bje tak,brother has said that he is busy till 6 o'clock
4 baj gae bhaijaan..........,it is 4 o'clock brother.
"@runjhunmehrotra @Ra_Bies aise mat bolo sir ko, inke pair chuo. Inke aashirwad me bina apna ghar nahi bas sakta","@runjhunmehrotra @ra_bies don’t talk like this to sir, touch his feet. we can’t make our home without his blessings."
bhai ball lagta hai maruti gold ki hi hai .  .,brother i think ball is of maruti gold only
#sona kya baat he..,#sona wow
Pehli ball pe chhakka maarne ka rule hi nahi hai. Out hona hi tha gupt rog ne !,there is no rule of hitting a six on the firt ball. venereal diseases had to be out!
"Ab jab #TripleTalaq pe referendum hone ki baat ho rahi ""hai to lage haath #Rammandir par bhi ho hi jaye.","now since, discussions are going on regarding a referendum for #triple talaq, then let #rammandir also be discussed"
"tune to dekha hi hai ye baat, chahe jitna unethical sound karein, ye karna padta hai.","you have already seen this talk. however much unethical it sounds, it has to be done."
modi sir....you come bihar.because neccessary to bjp government in bihar.......har har modi ghar ghar modi.....,"modi sir, you come to bihar because it is neccessary for bjp government in bihar."
@MaiHunSatish Dekhta rahega ya propose bhi karega,@maihunsatish will you just keep watching or propose as well?
"Adnan Sami: Aloo kaise diye bhaiya?
Sabzi wala: 20 ka dedh kilo. Kitna doon?
Adnan Sami: Bhar de jholi, O bhar de jholi.","adnan sami: how much for the potatoes?
sabzi wala: 1.5 kgs for 20 rupees. how much should i give?
adnan sami: fill the bag, oh! fill the bag."
"Anju: Deedi Modiji kisi Vladimir ke saath photo khich rahe hai kaun hai woh?
Manju: Arre pagli woh harry potter ke chapte naak wale villain!","anju: sister, modiji is clicking a photo with some vladimir, who is he?
manju: hey crazy, that is the flat nosed villain from harry potter!"
Madam @LambaAlka pados ke ek dukandar se meri thodi kahasuni ho gayi hai. tod-fod karne mein kuchh help mil sakti hai kya?,madam @lambaalka i had a verbal fight with a neighbouring shopkeeper. can i get some help in breaking a few things?
"lets hope for achhe din #MumbaiLocal "" upar ka Prabhu Niche ke Prabhu ko Budi de "" #RailBudget2015 @sardesairajdeep http://t.co/YQugUCZyyW",lets hope for good days #mumbailocal may the real god give intellect to the god of the country
Ireland walo.. 300 banao be.. Jaane mat do ye #MaukaMauka,"ireland team, score 300 runs. don’t let this go. #maukamauka"
"Ek chamat maaru, khaoge?","i will give you one slap, want it?"
@Thakurain_ koi kaam ke nahi </3,@thakurain_  is useless.
Mai to kal Sare din Spam karne wali hu Bhai .. Jisko Problem hai wo jake apni Bhains charaye #JustKidding #IndvsPak #WeWontGiveItBack,i am going to span the whole day tomorrow. anyone who has a problem can go and feed their buffaloes. #justkidding #indvspak #wewontgiveitback
@mishrageee Arre Mishraji aap!,@mishrageee oh mishraji you!
ye bhi koi bolne wali baat hai?,is this even worth speaking ?
Jo toss jita wohi match jitegaaaaa ! #HumIndiaWale #BleedBlue #WeWontGiveItBack #IndvsPak 💃💙🇮🇳,the team that won the toss will win the match! #humindiawale #bleedblue #wewontgiveitback #indvspak
the fact that i have no plans tomorrow night &amp, it's my last night in fl for a min &lt
@GabbbarSingh sote hue sooraj ko koi salaam nahi karta....,@gabbbarsingh no one salutes a sleeping sun
ohh that evil grin !,oh that evil grin !
Toh judge koi aur hai kya? https://twitter.com/shivaaanik/status/898087303628832768 …,then is someone else a judge? https://twitter.com/shivaaanik/status/898087303628832768 …
@klpe chhod. I am on Vodafone. Do ghante se try kar raha tha. Wapis nahi karna,@klpe leave it. i am on vodafone. i had been trying for two hours. i don't want to do it again.
hahahah done bhai.. karte hai milke thoda liver theek,haha done brother. we will repair some liver together.
@S1dharthM kapoor and sons achachi film hai .. ek baar or dekhunga,@s1dharthm kappor and sons is a good film. i will watch it once more.
lagta hai shaan or alice ka breakup ho gya hai .  .  .,seems like shaan and alice had a break up!
@InduSarabhai hi Indu Sarabhai,@indusarabhai hi indu sarabhai
@OfficeOfRG ab toh school bhi reopen hogaye .. summer holidays gone .. tumhare holiday kab finish ho rahe Hai #pappu #RahulGandhi @INCIndia,@officeofrg now the schools have reopened. summer holidays gone. when are your holidays finishing? #pappu #rahulgandhi @incindia
Samay aa gaya hai sab secular mil ker hindu ki chita jalne per rokh laga de. #smogindelhi,it's time for all secularists to come together and put a stop on hindu cremation #smogindelhi
Tumhara sahi hai agar rate kam kar do to Congress ki wjeh se nahi karo to BJP galat hai. #GSTCouncil #GSTCouncilMeet #GST,"that is great about you! if the rates have declined that is due to congress, and if they haven’t, then blame bjp. #gstcouncil #gstcouncilmeet #gst"
Munh khola bhi to gobar karne ke liyehttps://twitter.com/htTweets/status/638589620171620352 …,he opened his mouth just to spit out shit https://twitter.com/httweets/status/638589620171620352 …
sir aapne skill devlopment programe lunch kiye jisase karoro logo ko rojgar milega !!! thanks sir,"sir, you launched skill development program that will provide employment to crores of people! thank you, sir"
.@RanaAyyub sab gaaliya haipic.twitter.com/efKuJBEmrD,.@ranaayyub all are swear words.
Guthka kha le kanpuriye.. Joke samaj aa jaegahttps://twitter.com/EkKanpuriya/status/738979659623235584 …,"eat tobacco kanpur boy, you will understand the joke https://twitter.com/ekkanpuriya/status/738979659623235584 …"
@kachra_peti hahahaa no.. Ye @HathwalaThakur ki aadat hai maze lene ki,@kachra_peti hahahaa no..  making fun is @hathwalathakur's habit 
Govt ke pas Kashmir ke liye koi soch ya action plan nahi #GauRakshak #kashmir #TripleTalaq ke naam pr gadbad or gumrahi ke siwa koi kam nahi,govt does not have any action plan on kashmir. it is doing scams in the name of #gaurakshak #kashmir #tripletalaq 
"MSG khud God hain, par unke bhi ek Lord hainpic.twitter.com/eac1LvtPw6","msg is himself a god, but he also has a lord hainpic.twitter.com/eac1lvtpw6"
@kitAnurag kya baat hai! Saabash!,@kitanurag wow! very good!
@Atheist_Krishna waah Atheist Dil jeet liya bhai @Smile_exalter,@atheist_krishna good atheist won hearts brother @smile_exalter
@Singhlicious kuch samajh me aaye aisa likha kar  @The_Sleigher,@singhlicious write something which is interpretable @the_sleigher
"Mujhe Chahiye Swaraj!
.
.
.
aur badi Gaadi aur Bangla aur Security aur Power aur..",i want freedom and big car and bunglow and security and power and
Dil Mere Video Song HD Download by Kunaal Vermaa & Rapperiya Baalam http://t.co/hh3sZV1FjF,my heart video song hd download by kunaal vermaa & rapperiya baalam http://t.co/hh3szv1fjf
"guddu ki to lag gyi ,  band aakhon par hero tha ,  aankh khuli to zero :d","guddu got into trouble, he was a hero with his eyes closed, he became a zero when eyes opened"
.@JhaSanjay bhai link mat share kar.. isme congress walo ka hi haath hai @ndtv,.@jhasanjay brother dont share the link .. congress is behind this @ndtv
"@SandraBullocart LOL, Sharmaji ki beti hamein duniya ko bachana hai","@sandrabullocart lol, sharmaji's daughter we have to save the world"
4 vade pure hona mushkil hai, 70 ka kya hoga ?
"Monday ko chhutti hai May day ki, sasta nahi hai I guess.","monday is a holiday because of may day, it is not cheap i guess"
"Apne bhai @ek_samosa_dena ka show hai mitron sunday ko.. Mumbai wali jaroor jaaye.. bookmyshow par tkt hai available 

Best luck bhaipic.twitter.com/fuS8pjP87Y","our brother @ek_samosa_dena has a show on sunday.. mumbai people do go .. ticket is available on bookmyshow  

best luck brother pic.twitter.com/fus8pjp87y"
"Kuch kuch milta hai anjali, tum nahi samjhogihttps://twitter.com/uPoliticat/status/864066951475216384 …","you get something anjali, you wont understand https://twitter.com/upoliticat/status/864066951475216384 …"
"salu bahi sabka bahi salman bahi,,My Supar kahn Salman kahn kick se v suparhit hogi bajrangi bahijaan,","salu brother is everyone's brother, my super kahn salman kahn. bajrangi bhaijan will be a bigger hit then kick"
@Being_Humor @KyaUkhaadLega @firstpost SAALA MAJNU JALTA HAI MUJH SE!pic.twitter.com/KALmfzlTpK,@being_humor @kyaukhaadlega @firstpost the stupid majnu is jealous of me pic.twitter.com/kalmfzltpk
Kyo pade ho chakar me koi nahi hai takar me. Modi is best pm .,"why are you in this mess, nobody is in the competition modi is the best"
@RoflGandhi_ woh toh hai hi thodi training dena isko :-D taaki ye yahan par bhi na pakaaye @OfficeOfRG,@roflgandhi_ give some training to him. so that he doesn't bore here also @officeofrg
@MeetUunngLee Ye Satya Nadella ka bhai hai kya?,@meetuunnglee is he a brother of satya nadella?
"#TajMahal to bhana h asal maqsad to #jaishah "" notebandi #GST aur bank mey charges ki loot se janta ka dhyan bhatkana h","#tajmahal was the real intention #jaishah "" note ban #gst and bank loot are just to divert attention of the citizens"
"@Dishasatra @runjhunmehrotra zaroor zaroor, tujhe gate par khada karenge baraatiyon ka swagat karne. Ok?",@dishasatra @runjhunmehrotra sure sure. we will make you stand at the gate to welcome the wedding guests. okay?
@balliawalebaba gharwalo ne mujhe bhi badi mushkil se bulaya,@balliawalebaba my family invited me barely as well.
@Miss_Ankiita kutiya soonghti huee aa jaegi @why_russ,@miss_ankiita bitch will come while smelling @why_russ
@ek_samosa_dena toh soch kya raha hai?,@ek_samosa_dena then what are you thinking?
me&amp, @someUSER going to phuk the city up sept 15 .  we taking it back to fairground for #battleofthesexes lets see who rock men/women
"Play Mukesh ad at the beginning, pehle main hockey ka bahot bada khiladi tha, ek din anthem ke liye hada nahi hua logon ne meri taang tod dihttps://twitter.com/barandbench/status/803844745529327616 …","Play Mukesh ad at the beginning, earlier i was great hockey player, one day i didn't stand up for the national anthem they broke my leg https://twitter.com/barandbench/status/803844745529327616 …"
"Mujhko pehchaan lo "" mai hu DON ! #Trump #NATO",recognize me i am don ! #trump #nato
haha! Bade shauk bhai,haha ! big interests brother
hmne bhi bahut kiye h ye kaam and hmre karnal m bhi h jain book shop .  .  .  :-d :-d :-d,"we also did a lot of work , we also a jain book shop "
hamare teacher to pitai kar dete the .  .,my teacher used to hit students
Pakistan ke Terrorist ke khilaf fir ek bar #SurgicalStrike Commandos ne Sima Par Ghus kar 3 Pak Aatanki ko Mar Dala @BJP 4 India @BJP 4 Maharashtra . twitter . com / nrajXy 0 HnQ,another #SurgicalStrike against pakistani terrorists Commandos after crossing the border killed 3 terrorists @BJP 4 India @BJP 4 Maharashtra . twitter . com / nrajXy 0 HnQ
Ismein nanga hone ki kya baat thi yaar aise hi chilla leta.https://twitter.com/mid_day/status/801374743383314432 …,"what was the point getting naked in this, you could've shouted like this only.https://twitter.com/mid_day/status/801374743383314432 …"
@Sadafawanvk @aliaa08 @iamsrk @ParineetiChopra wow wow mujhe bulaye v nhi,@Sadafawanvk @aliaa08 @iamsrk @ParineetiChopra wow wow they didn't even invite me
"@YearOfRat  bhai 72 saando ko apne peeche chhoda jayega.
Sunday ka kya plan hai? Janamdin hai aur match bhi. Milo? @Alllahdin","@YearOfRat  brother 72 bulls will be released behind us.
whats the plan for sunday? birthday and also match meet? @Alllahdin"
@roshd Har cheese ki bhi herd hoti hai.,@roshd everything has a limit
"@Atheist_Krishna ""Hahaha Krishna tu to mast tweet karne laga hai.. ye sab Bolshu ki sangati ka asar hai""pic.twitter.com/sRKlGxjcYM","@Atheist_Krishna ""Hahaha krishna you've started tweeting very well .. this is the effect of being with bolshu""pic.twitter.com/sRKlGxjcYM"
"bhaiya aapki care karte hai, paise ki baat nahi hai. Bhaiya balwaan to duniya unki kadrdaan ","brother cares about you, its not about money. if brother is strong world is respectful"
@clued_up_chic mind ganda hona chahiye.. Saaf to tijori bhi hoti hai ,)
@_GandaBachcha unglee pehle usne kari hai @HathwalaThakur,@_GandaBachcha he started it first @HathwalaThakur
@AdvancedMaushi suhaagraat hai.. Ghoogat utha raha hu tera,"@AdvancedMaushi its wedding night, i am removing your dress"
Bas kar bhai @DhuanDhari haath dukh jaega,stop it brother @DhuanDhari hands will start aching
"@YearOfRat LOL. Bhai na bolo aise, pyara junior hai and bhabhi :)","@YearOfRat LOL. brother dont say this, she is a nice junior and sister in law"
"haha jugaad tayar kar lena, @RNTata2000 ko bolna hai @invest_mutual @OpIndia_com @BloombergQuint @Raghav_Bahl","haha try doing it by hook or crook , tell @RNTata2000  @invest_mutual @OpIndia_com @BloombergQuint @Raghav_Bahl"
"Twitter pe aamjanta se b maangle ""sujhaav saare sujhaav ""milega user review kehte Hai..@GST_Council @arunjaitley #GST #GSThelpdesk","ask normal people on twitter 'solution every solution' you will get, it is called user review @GST_Council @arunjaitley #GST #GSThelpdesk"
Hashim Amla aur thode seb bhi le aana - Aamla ki Ammi #IndvsSA,hashim amla bring some apples too - amla's mother #INDvsSA
Barish ko bhi pata hai kal #GST bharne ki aakhri tareekh hai is liye overtime chal raha hai .. #MumbaiRains,rain also knows tommorow is last day to fill #GST that is why it is raining overtime .. #MumbaiRains
@MohitParmarr Apna bhi.,@mohitParmarr ours too
Sir ji kamal kardi apne vides me bhi.,"sir, you made awesome videos"
"Bhuk lagi ""ho khana samne pada ho aur dieting ke naan pe mana karna pada... Tab jo dard hota hai woh en #Congressiyo se pucho","when you are hungry, and food is in front of you but still you refuse because of dieting . . ask #congressiyo about that pain "
"RT @Dharanishanthi : RT @SankalpSharan : Rail research institute will open @ IIT BHU , kanpur #RailBudget2015 bt no one sees this #RespectResea","RT @Dharanishanthi : RT @SankalpSharan : Rail research institute will open @ IIT BHU , kanpur #RailBudget2015 but no one sees this #RespectResea"
#RightToPrivacy is a fundamental right ! But Hasmukh Bhai ki Privacy toh bhang hogayi Guggiji ke aane se 0 Dekhiye -,#RightToPrivacy is a fundamental right ! But Hasmukh's privcay will be disturbed because of guggi
RT @Eatstory : Holi hai #BhaangKulfi toh khani banti hai . Find the finest Bhaang Kulfi in #OldDelhi . https://t.co/WFyO6Mr7p1 :) https://t.co…,RT @Eatstory : its holi #BhaangKulfi bhang kulfi is a must . Find the finest Bhaang Kulfi in #OldDelhi . https://t.co/WFyO6Mr7p1 :) https://t.co…
@aanchalator Aage jake Dhoni se haarna. Usse achcha yahin ghutne tek do.,"@aanchalator losing to dhoni after going forth, better bend your knees now only"
saath me jha saab aur gsurya ko bhi le jaaye @Prudent_Niks,take jha sir and gsurya with you @Prudent_Niks
"@babagkaghanta @Alllahdin @anpadh00 @retardedwriter @MeetUunngLee Sir, paay laagu","@babagkaghanta @Alllahdin @anpadh00 @retardedwriter @MeetUunngLee Sir, i touch your feet"
RT @faizansrkkhan : Kingo ... Gaadi me kuch the kya ? #DilwaleOnSony https://t.co/6qoSjTDhhw,RT @faizansrkkhan : Kingo ... was there something in the car ? #DilwaleOnSony https://t.co/6qoSjTDhhw
@SimplySajidK bhai aapki kismat me ab yahi hain,@SimplySajidK brother this is your destiny
@Atheist_Krishna haha.. Thande paranthe khaaye honge.. Ab garam kar raha hai ,)
RT @DaarubaazMehta : MCD ruled by BJP in Delhi is giving salaries to 22000 non-existing persons #BJPKaMCDKachra http://t.co/t8Y5bhftKL,RT @DaarubaazMehta : MCD ruled by BJP in Delhi is giving salaries to 22000 non-existing persons #BJPKaMCDKachra http://t.co/t8Y5bhftKL
@someUSER - another example of a good college player who had a great week at senior bowl to ease concerns about toughs &amp, get into 1st round
"Perfect railway budget #BudgetBT # #RailBudget2015 #IndianRailways @abpnewstv @aajtakki to jal gyi , pata ni Konya milk h inka","Perfect railway budget #BudgetBT # #RailBudget2015 #IndianRailways @abpnewstv @aajtakki got burnt, dont know which type of milk they have"
@IyerAvin Par NoShare nahin chalega,@IyerAvin but noshare wont work
Sir bi ni change karte kisii ka Chahe wo #Virat ho #Rahane ho ya fir #Pujara,sir also doesnot change whether its #Virat or #Rahane or #Pujara
"@TheLastPeg Achhi baat hai yaar, wahin rehne chahiye jahan ab hai","@TheLastPeg it is a good thing, they should remain where they are"
Mann ki baat bhi https://twitter.com/Shakti_Shetty/status/881765164831436800 …,heart's desire too https://twitter.com/Shakti_Shetty/status/881765164831436800 …
"@ttrinadasgupta @girlinbluejeans tum pilao, paise khatam hogaye hai. end of month :'(","@ttrinadasgupta @girlinbluejeans you give me treaty, i am broke, end of the month"
@Sonu_ChaiPoha bhai use ek baar ni likha jaega.. kyu le raha hai uski @ColdCigar,@Sonu_ChaiPoha brother he wont be able to write once.. why are you teasing him @ColdCigar
@PriyancaBajaj kaisa hai bhai?,@PriyancaBajaj how are you brother?
"@indiantweeter yaar dil na tod, waise bhi kaafi kanyaon ne mere dil toda hai","@indiantweeter please dont break my heart, anyways a lot of women have broken my heart"
Twitter account nahi sambhalta desh chalane aaye hai. #JaiHo,they wanted to run a nation when they cant even handle a twitter account #JaiHo
iss din ke laddu ke kya kehne .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . waah,this day's laddu is amazing
@Pluuummm sudhari? Shaadi hogayi? Last name basal gaya? Ye kab hua??,@Pluuummm corrected? married? last name changed? when did this happen?
"@AtulSaurabh2 JDU jaegi har, ab aage badhega Bihar. #NitishKaNakliVikas","@AtulSaurabh2 JDU will lose, now bihar will grow. #NitishKaNakliVikas"
#kohli nahi hota tujhse chase .....,#kohli you cant chase
Aa to jao id wale din hi dekh lennge ki iss baar bhi record tutna hai pehele wali movies se haha....... Being salman khan? 1000 crores,"you come, we will see it on id only this time again it will break records of previous movies haha .. . being salman khan ? 1000 crores"
Bhai kya mazak hi ye 4.6 ho gye,brother what is this joke its 4.6 now
Bhai  acha mazzak banaya aap ne aaj :-W,brother you made good joke today
Agar #Trump Khilaaf ho gaya to kya hoga ....?,what will happen if #trump opposed?
"@twinitisha @tgirishkumar tumhare liye sirf pyar hai, tumhe nahi dikhta","@twinitisha @tgirishkumar i only have love for you, you dont see that"
"@SritikaDhar @indiantweeter Na na, theek hai. Chhado ji","@SritikaDhar @indiantweeter No no, its okay leave it"
Online bheekh maanga amazing kaam hai kya ?,did you beg online is it amazing
@EngineeRoholic saale acche tweets dekha kar,@EngineeRoholic stupid see some good tweets
@tiwari_sd @digvijaya_28 diggi Chacha plz clarify education of Madamji n Rahul baba ? all congress party's reputation at stake,@tiwari_sd @digvijaya_28 diggi uncle please clarify education of Madam and Rahul  ? all congress party's reputation at stake
"@palakkadpattr naah, share?","@palakkadpattr no, share?"
modi fekte hi rahoge kya ?,modi will you keep lieing?
@BJP4India has taken steps like #DeMonetisation & #GST 0 Warna agar @INCIndia hoti to 40 saal lag jaate ise laagoo karne mein. @ShefVaidya,@BJP4India has taken steps like #DeMonetisation & #GST 0 otherwise if @INCIndia would have been there it would have taken 40 years to implement it. @ShefVaidya
Haarne wale hai :(,going to lose
@AnkitFearless yes vipul shah pagal ho Gaya,@AnkitFearless yes vipul shah has gone mad
Le bhai @JhaSanjay MP me hia to bohot bole aap.. Ab bol le dikhao.https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/609281503017570305 …,take brother @JhaSanjay is in MP .. now try to speak https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/609281503017570305 …
@narendramodi_in Sir mahashivratri ki hardik badai.om namay shivay , pray to god for u.my icon .
"Ik kuddi Jidda naam @indiantweeter hai.. gum hai, tull hai tull haipic.twitter.com/9W9NMnhNgj","one girl whose name is @indiantweeter is lost, is drunk pic.twitter.com/9W9NMnhNgj"
thand me hum sab inactive pade hai .  .,we are all inactive in cold
@Rishita_x Spam k liye Sorry but Maza agaya, @Rishita_x sorry for the spam but I had fun
Jo haal 70 saal se ab tak nahi hua #Notebandi #GST #FDI #UNEMPLOYMENT #more,the condition which doesn't happend for 70 years  #Notebandi #GST #FDI #UNEMPLOYMENT #more
Tujhe kyu ':-)' reply karu? Tujhe badi smile chahiye hain?,why should i reply you? do you need big smile?
@Alllahdin maine kuch nahi kiya milord,"@Alllahdin i have not done anything, mylord"
#TransformingIndia sabhi utpat bharth me hi bana chahiy mobile tv computer and more #MakeInIndia,"#TransformingIndia all product must be made in India only including t.v., computer, mobile and more #MakeInIndia"
"@Riskiest_Poison sab bol rahe hai, lol",@Riskiest_Poison everyone is saying
@SecularTrainee Hauz Khas kaafi nahi hai inhe,@SecularTrainee they do not have enough hauz
Are Kuch na .. Tittar ho l,"oh not much, just scattering"
"Desh ka bhala karo, jahan ho wahi ruk jao.https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/897391999636037633 …","do good of nation, stop wherever you are https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/897391999636037633 "
"i'm going to clutch at buster's billiards &amp; backroom in lexington ,  ky - dec 28 http/URL","i am going to clutch at buster's billiards &amp; backroom in lexington ,  ky - dec 28 http/URL"
"Bhai log, block karo isse. Aur @akshaykanitkar teri cover pic daali hai isne. https://twitter.com/yourfreenow/status/629653567343718400 …","brothers, block him. and @akshaykanitkar, he has put your cover picture. https://twitter.com/yourfreenow/status/629653567343718400 …"
"Punjabi me baat ko kehte hai gal..
Punjabi me baat ko kehte hai gal..

Ab ki baar @witchybitchygal","in punjabi talking is called gal, in punjabi talking is called gal; this time @witchybitchygal"
@OneChilledBeer ek din ke liye aaya darling my love,@OneChilledBeer for one day came my darling love
@MohitParmarr bhai tu aur bhide lage raho,@MohitParmarr brother you stay more crowded 
watching the 2nd punisher .  wish they'd make another one with quentin tarentino directing and thomas jane as castle,watching the second punisher. wish they had made another one with quentin tarantino directing and thomas jane as castle
Chhatarpur is far. Gurgaon aao yaar,chhatarpur is far. come to gurgaon
"me - mam ,  may i go to toilet plss ?  ?  mam - kyu jana h ?  ?  me - chambers of secrets kholne :-d","student to mam: mam, may i go to toilet please? mam to student: why you want to go? student to mam: to open chmabers of secret"
Kya #duplicate note aur #blackmoney sirf 500 aur 1000 ke note mein hi aate the ? What about 100 ka note ???,does #duplicate note aur #blackmoney comes only in 500 and 1000 rupees notes? what about 100 ruppes note?
@byomkesbakshi u r awesome byom bhai,"@byomkesbakshi you are awesome, byom borther"
@boogerworm I guess tumhra brain wash karne mai time lagega :p,@boogerworm I guess it will take time to do your brain wash
Abhi public ko PM sahab ka dekhna hai... degree. #DegreeDikhaoPMSaab,"now, public want to see prime minister's degree #DegreeDikhaoPMSaab"
@twinitisha no worries.. Ye beech ka hai waise bhi  @Atheist_Krishna,"@twinitisha no worries, he is middle man anyway @Atheist_Krishna"
@someUSER ima ask for the day off !  im not gonna miss watching breaking dawn for our 10th month anniversary ! (:,@someUSER i may ask for the day off ! i am not going to miss watching breaking dawn for our tenth month anniversary !
for the french fan of @someUSER the tvmovie : drew peterson : untouchable will be broadcasted thusday 16 october at 2:55 pm on #tf1  !,"for the french fan of @someUSER the tv movie's drew peterson : untouchable film will be broadcasted on thusday, 16 october at 2:55 pm on #tf1 !"
Kya bhai @Madan_Chikna ab kisse shart laga baithe ?https://twitter.com/mid_day/status/801374743383314432 …,what brother @Madan_Chikna now with whom you made a bet?https://twitter.com/mid_day/status/801374743383314432 …
chalk ke bahane chakkar laga liye guddu ne .  . hum to chalk lene jate the to class over hone ke baad hi aate the .  .  :p :p,"guddu circled on excuse of bringing chlak. however, when we use to go for bringing chlak, we come only after the class end"
@rahulroushan dosti bani rahe,@rahulroushan friendship remains
Congrats Team India !!! Is baar bhi #INDIA hi patakhe phodega !!! #BleedBlue #IndvsPak #CWC15 #WeWontGiveItBack #,congrats team India. again this time #INDIA will only burn crackers #BleedBlue #IndvsPak #CWC15 #WeWontGiveItBack #
@DailyVelli @prtxt Mastani and Kashibai,@DailyVelli @prtxt mastani and kashibai
@TweetErrant aaj khane me kya khaya,"@TweetErrant today, what you had in food?"
@tweeting_pal mera hi hai yaar,@tweeting_pal it is mine only friend
sincere aur aalsi ek saath kaise hota hai koi ??,how someone is both sincere and lazy together?
"Pic1: Mummy dekho Mia Khalifa

Pic2: Lagta hai ab iski shaadi karwani hi padegi pic.twitter.com/TFIM3izfdl",pic1: see mom mia khalifa pic2: i think now it is time to arrange her marriage also pic.twitter.com/TFIM3izfdl
@retardedwriter badhiya kheer banayi thi magar @Alllahdin ne,@retardedwriter delicious rice pudding was made but by @Alllahdin 
.@ranaayyub tumhare liye Hindu life ka koi mayne nahi hai.,.@ranaayyub for you hindu life has no value 
"@Lala_The_Don ab ki baar Bihar me bhi Modi Sarkaar
#GoodByeNitishKumar",@Lala_The_Don this time modi government also in Bihar #GoodByeNitishKumar
"Baal kaisa hai janaab ka?
Kya khayal hai aapka?
Hum toh salon chale huhuhu
Yunhi ganje huwe HAHAHA","how is hair, sir?what is your view? i am going to saloon huhuhu. this way got bald hahaha"
@saadiaafzaal Pagl he ye Qaom Jo misbah ka Cmprezm imraan se kr rhe he . khuda ko maano kaha misbah kaha imran .. shoib Akhtar,"@saadiaafzaal this race is mad that they are comparing misbah with imraan. believe in god, where is misabah and where is imran, shoib Akhtar"
jabardust post hai buddy .,it is tremendous post buddy.
"Ranveer's Mom: ""Iss kamre ka parda kidhar gaya..???""

Ranveer's brother: "" Mummy bhaiya deepika aunty ke saath date par gaye hai..""","ranveer's mom: "" where does this rooms curtain went?"" ranveer's brother: "" mom, brother went on a date with deepika aunty"""
".@narendramodi Sir, aap to single hai, aap ye kaise kar sakte hai? #UnblockPornSites",".@narendramodi sir, you are single, how can you do this?  #UnblockPornSites"
RT @PoohBear_Goa : Neighbour logo ke bhi pataakhe le aao #MaukaMauka #IndvsSA,RT @PoohBear_Goa : bring crackers of neighbour people also #MaukaMauka #IndvsSA
probably.. need to go thru my contact list again . Kabhi biwi ne dekh liya to kaand ho jaega,"probably, need to go through my contact list again . it will be troublesome if sometime my wife saw it"
"to kisi dry day par satyanarayan ki pooja ka aayojan karke milte hai, koi baat nahi!","no problem, so let us meet  on some dry day by keeping satyanarayan's pooja"
"Jahan soch wahan shauchalaya, jahan marzi kar do. Aise hi chal raha hai","wherever thinking there is toilet, whereever you wish,do it. going like this only"
"@Being_Humor HAHAHAH! Sab ko umeed hai, umeed pe unka boner kaayam hai","@Being_Humor HAHAHAH! everyone have hopes, it is hopes on which there boner is sustained"
Besharmi ki hadd hoti hai!! Mahilaon ke naam pe dukaan chalane wale abhi #tripletalaq ko support kar rahe hain. Sharia bhi koi cheez h by God!,There is limit to shamelessness! Those who run shop on name of womens are now supporting #tripletalaq. sharia is also some thing by God!
ultimate creation faizal bhai (y),ultimate creation faizal brother 
he paints: political artist of india 1 who will never turned up again .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  respect for r . k .  :),he paints: the political artist of india. one who will never turned up again. i respect for r. k . 
@MildlyClassic bhai tu 2012-13 me hi saare tweet kar chuka hai..  @Priya_Menon,@MildlyClassic brother you have done all tweet in 2012-2013 only @Priya_Menon
@poonamkhatri @KingDrunkard @Fuljhadii @CouchCriticizer @Spamsterr Dadho sutho!,@poonamkhatri @KingDrunkard @Fuljhadii @CouchCriticizer @Spamsterr dadho please!
Aaj kuch Tue funny karte hain? https://twitter.com/reviewero/status/597967713223344129 …,"Today, let's do something funny https://twitter.com/reviewero/status/597967713223344129 …"
#OmNamahShivay Wish you all a very happy #MahaShivratri #Shivratri ki bohot bohot badhaai aap sabko http://t.co/GufQ5n1cx1,#OmNamahShivay Wish you all a very happy #MahaShivratri #Shivratri congratulations to you all http://t.co/GufQ5n1cx1
@navin_inet  Lalu and Nitish ne milke Bihar ko luta hai #NitishKaNakliVikas,@navin_inet lalu and nitish have together robbed Bihar #NitishKaNakliVikas
"@only_fo_r_you Haha , arre dono ki jagah likha h bhai :D :D","@only_fo_r_you Haha , oh, written on behalf of both brother "
@baazigar_boy lol nahi bhai kuch dimag main hi nahi a raha tweet karne ko,@baazigar_boy no brother i am not getting anything in mind to tweet
so ready to be done with classes tomorrow and head to chapel hill to support my favorite #wuwbb ladies @someUSER &amp, @someUSER
"can i join the admins in maintaining the page  ?  ?  i am currently in my 3rd year now  ,  and can speak/write fairly good english  . ","can i join the admins in maintaining the page? i am currently in my third year now, and I can speak and write fairly good english ."
"nahi joi, juni chhe?","not looking, old?"
"#Bengaluru : T20 World Cup 2016 , Aaj Ka Doosra Match Srilanka Aur West Indies Kay Darmian Khaila Jaye Ga , Match Sham 7 Baje Shuru Hoga , # ...","#Bengaluru : T20 world cup 2016 , today's second match will be played between srilanka  and west indies, match will start at evening 7 , # ..."
duniya me ese logo ki misal he .   .   .   .,there is an example of such people in the world
@ShootinThoughts ha ha chehra to bahut badhiya hai.,@ShootinThoughts haha face is so cool
***thursday night friday night dinner special*** salmon &amp, jumbo shrimp 15 . 95 whole fish (porgie) 1 . 5lb with lemon .  .  .  http/URL
"nintendo  ,  awesome  .  .  .  kaha hai ye school mujhe bhi jana hai :p","nintendo , awesome; where is this school, even i want to go "
sab cheezein bataane ke liye ek alag mahaul hota hai :-/,there is a different atmosphere to tell everything
@premlata_rai haan @MeetUunngLee hai na?,@premlata_rai yes @MeetUunngLee is there or not?
guddu wait kar raha hi aur jinko samajh nahi aaya wo jaake apni bhains charayen .  .  !  !  !,"
guddu is waiting and those who did not understand, go and feed their buffalo"
goodnight !  big day !  tomorrow i'm at the school to 3:00 (argentina time) because i stay to the mallin !  (tomorrow i'll tell you what is that) !,goodnight ! big day ! tomorrow i am at the school to 3:00 (argentina time) because i stay to the mallin ! (tomorrow i will tell you what is that) !
@iamsonisinghal maam Thailand ki pics to bhejo Baba ki @priyankac19,@iamsonisinghal maam send pics of Thailand of Baba @priyankac19
"people should stay after school tomorrow to help the nhs .  .  we will be watching  "" the woman in black "" ",people should stay after school tomorrow to help the nhs. we will be watching the woman in black 
Chhod do ___ zamaana kya kahega? #DashSongs,leave
"Yahan DM mushkil se aate hai, aur log chahte hai salary time se aajaye.","dm hardly comes here, and people want to salary to come on time."
Noise free Diwali is like biryani without pyaaz.,noise free diwali is like biryani without onion.
"@jiteshpillaai @Ash_Deshmukh ugachh kaahi pan bolu naka, maazi vyaktimatva aahe itthe.","@jiteshpillaai @Ash_Deshmukh if you do not like this, please contact me"
"Hiiiii, kya yeh dream hai?","hi, is it a dream?"
Wannabe Kejriwal with Wannabe Khanpic.twitter.com/GeAznsHzWy,wannabe kejriwal with wannabe khanpic.twitter.com/GeAznsHzWy
@twinitisha wow! Instagram follower @_SandSurfer tere paas aur koi topic hota hai baat karne ke liye?,@twinitisha wow! Instagram follower @_SandSurfer do you not have any other topic to talk to?
"if you have a clue know who this guy is  ,  tell us  ,  we have been trying to find out too  .  .  . ","if you have a clue now who this guy is , tell us , we have been trying to find out too."
"ham ramzaado aur vikaszaado ko hi vote denge ,  haramzaado(sp ,  bsp ,  congress ,  aap ,  tmc etc .  .  .  . ) ko bilkul nahi . ","we will give vote to ramzaado and vikaszzado, not basterds like sp, bsp, congress, aap,tmc,etc."
"@someUSER starting to think it may be acta now ,  but having a guy like hentgen would be great","@someUSER starting to think it may be act now , but having a guy like hentgen would be great"
ahaa .  .  .  jeet gye :d congratulations to all indians :),"ahaa... won, congratulations to all indians"
akele modi kya ker sakte hai.........akela aadmi pahad nhi khod sakta,what can modi alone do… alone a man cannot dig a mountain
@oothikicha tu hai ke nahi?,@oothikicha are you not?
@MeThePooh #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra Nitish babu tumhare aur Laloo ke political Taboot ki ye akhiri kil hogi..,"@MeThePooh #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra nitish babu, this will be the last nail of your and lalu's political coffin.."
@Gurmeetramrahim ohhh aaj to kya cnada sinagapur aay hay #MSGmissionHumanity,"@Gurmeetramrahim oh, today canada came to singapur #MSGmissionHumanity"
bhai apne 3:30pm bola tha fir 4:00pm bola ab 4:10pm ho gaya hai .this is not fair,brother you had spoken 3:30 pm then said 4:00 pm. Now it is 4:10 pm. This is not fair
"wish maddie luck next saturday ,  she has a solo audition for britain's got talent !  :) ~ ellie xxxxx","wish maddie luck next saturday , she has a solo audition for britain's got talent ~ ellie xxxxx"
@SimplySajidK bhai fir bolte ho picture nahi chalti meri !!!,"@SimplySajidK brother then you speak, my picture does not work !"
"@someUSER follow @someUSER and meet her on november 26 ,  she'll be at the bell center by 4:00 pm .  please fredo . ","@someUSER follow @someUSER and meet her on november 26 , she will be at the bell center by 4:00 pm . please fredo."
@koquettish @steppennwolf okay baby. khaana khaake jaana.,@koquettish @steppennwolf okay baby. go after eating food.
"Maharaj ji, 1 RK main rehte hain log. Ek bacche ke baad dusra karne ke liye privacy nahi milti. 4 kahan se honge.","your majesty, all people live in one rak. privacy is not available after one child to do another. where will 4 be from?"
@dreamworkers Abhisek ki tarah?,@dreamworkers like abhisek?
"""Kehte hain yeh Deewani, Mastani ho gayi""

Annu Kapoor: ""Yeh toh cheating hai""","""it is said that this addict became overjoyed"" annu kapoor: ""this is cheating"""
@hurdangi haaye <3,@hurdangi oh
Kya haal hain..pawan kumar chaturvedi g..urf. bajrangi bhai bhajaan,how are you pawan kumar chaturvedi ji also known as bajrangi bhaijaan
@_PratikAjmera Tune history padhi thi kabhi.. Ya hamesha porn hi dekha apne gharwalo ke saath ? @PChidambaram_IN,@ _PratikAjmera did you read history ever or always watched porn with your family? @ PChidambaram_IN
@Oinkoo aur bata froota kya masti kar raha hai,@Oinkoo and tell me what fun you are having fruta
@AjmalAwan18 @NabeelaAapa Imran ki tebdeeli aur Sheede ki telli ksi kaam na aay,@AjmalAwan18 @NabeelaAapa imran's changes and the worries of sahidea are of no use
"Ese he baiya bajrangi.,",this is how brother bajrangi
@newton3G shukr hai Wikipedia ke maalik se sorry bolne nahi kaha.. Aur kyuki wo Amreeka ka hai.. Obama se isteefa nahi maanga @firstpost,"@newton3G thankfully, the owner of wikipedia did not say sorry and because he is from the united states, did not ask for resignation from obama @firstpost"
More like 2G to Sab mile huwe hai G.https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/803474667742728192 …,More like 2G to all are mixed G.https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/803474667742728192
@someUSER gagner has been in trade rumours since the beginning of the year .  can't claim 1st on this one bud .,@someUSER gagner has been in trade rumours since the beginning of the year. can't claim first on this one bud .
eli young band you were great on #cmaawards but you will be even better in starkville tomorrow night :) #bulldogbash #hailstate,eli young band you were great on #cmaawards but you will be even better in starkville tomorrow night #bulldogbash #hailstate
Manumental' kya hota hai abe kalwe? English ke sath kya monumental' rape kiya hai be?,what is manumental? what a monumental rape you have done with english?
"kabhi scooter pe ulte baith ke dekhna ,  kasam se joyride se jyada maza aayega ^_^","sometimes watch seating in reverse on the scooter, i swear it will be more fun than joyride"
lag gaya aaj to  .  .  .  wontgiveitback to plstakeitback lag raha hai :(,got it today. feeling changed from would not give it back to please take it back
"i love the  "" on time ""  part=&gt; @someUSER axl rose shows up on time ,  gives jimmy kimmel 1st live tv interview in 20 years http/URL","i love the "" on time "" part is equal to &gt; @someUSER axl rose shows up on time , gives jimmy kimmel first live tv interview in 20 years http/URL"
wow !  !  !  omg today for my 21st birthday i woke up and @someUSER follows me !  i knew this day would come !  thanks jennette !  &lt,3
@geonews_urdu jb misbah nhi khelta to team 200 b cross nhi krti ... shoib akhtr prsnl horhy hai,@geonews_urdu when misbah do not play then even not cross 200. shoaib akhtar is getting personal
Catch chhodne ke baad hi sab accha khelte hai.,"after dropping catch, everyone start playing good"
"lol Sarcasm tha bhai. Chill, aise hi","lol it was sarcasm brother. chill, just like that"
shaadi kar raha hai yaar? Congrats! @mishrageee,are you marrying friend? congrats! @mishrageee
jab car 40 pe chalti hai..police wale bolte hai seat belt lagai.. train to 100+ daud rahi @sureshpprabhu,"when car go at 40, police says to wear seatbelt. although train is runninng at speed more than 100 @sureshpprabhu"
"@Being_Humor Woh 500 lekar usko wapas troll karna, bolna paise kam lag rahe the","@Being_Humor after taking 500 again troll him, say that money was looking less"
http/URL i just voted for 1st lady to be on coast 2 coast mixtape 224 hosted by kendrick lamar !  @someUSER,http/URL i just voted for  first lady to be on coast to coast mixtape 224 hosted by kendrick lamar ! @someUSER
64 in 1 leke aata .  .  . usme sab milte,you should have bought 64 in 1. you must have got everything in that
@witchybitchygal tumse achcha kaun hai.. Dil jigar lo jaan lo..,"@witchybitchygal who is better than you. take heart, take life"
westbound into the u . s . - ongoing bridge inspection- construction - may be delays - eastbound into canada- trucks 20 minute delay-cars clear,westbound into the united states is going a construction of a bridge inspection. it may results in delays to eastbound into canada. trucks are 20 minute delayed. clear for cars
championship: team news: bellamy in frame for cardiff: all the team news from saturday's championship game .  .  .  http/URL #boro,championship: team news: bellamy in frame for cardiff: all the team news from saturday's championship game  http/URL #boro
this admin is a mentaly chalenged guy jo itna bi diffrnce ni smaj pa rha ki jayram ramesh ne kya kha tha or modi ne kya kha h  .  .  .  .,this administrator is a mentaly challenged guy who even can not understand the difference between what jayram ramesh siad and what modi said.
"Tu kisi rail si guzarti hai, main Virar local samajh kar darr jaata hu.","you pass like a train, I got afraid by thinking virar local."
"hahaha .  .  .  .  .  sab fevicol ka jod laga k baith jaate hain ,  india k match k samay mein .  .  .  .  :d :d","hahaha, everyone like a fevicol bond sit  during match of india"
Aum Namah Shivayah #ShivaShiva Happy Mahashivratri to all . :),om namah shivaya #ShivaShiva happy mahashivratri to all . 
"Ye adaalat Dafaa 302 ke tahat aapko maut ki sazaa sunaati hai.....
NAHI MILORD MAIN BEKASUR HU MILORD!

miss those shitty movies.","this court sentences you to death under article 302.
no mylord i am innocent mylord!

miss those shitty movies."
@noorikhan119 NNR accha hona chahiye with 2 wins . india 4 th position par hai ..,"@noorikhan119 nnr must be good. with 2 wins, india is at fourth position"
"@perky_girl16 sab pata chalega, pehle tum batao jo pucha hai","@perky_girl16 everything will be told, first you tell what is asked to you."
bhagwaan ne liya u turn @BUnlimted @GanduNews,god has taken a u-turn @BUnlimted @GanduNews
"""Tu hai ki nahi"" ~ Rumi","are you there or not, Rumi"
@HaramiParindey sach hai guru,"@HaramiParindey right, master"
kendriya vidyalaya ke lagte ho .  . :p,you look from kendriya vidyalaya
"Dekho ye baat toh aap modesty se taal dete ho, ye galat hai sabko pata hai. @akshaykanitkar","see you pass this talk in modesty, everyone knows that this is wrong. @akshaykanitkar"
"RT @anandpassion : So , Modi ji is the first Graduate by MakeInIndia #FarziDegreeModiKi","retweet @anandpassion : so , modi ji is the first graduate by makeinindia #FarziDegreeModiKi"
@LungFakeer In Sindhi?,@LungFakeer in sindhi?
hahah kyu doosro ki gaand dekhta rehta hai dinbhar  @PieceOfGlasses @SrkVishu1,"haha, why you keep watching other's ass for whole day @PieceOfGlasses @SrkVishu1"
Mummy agar hume #YogiAdityanath ko rokna hai toh #Rock & #JasonStatham ko party me shaamil Karna padega : #RahulGandhi,"mummy, if we want to stop #YogiAdityanath, then we should add  #Rock and #JasonStatham in the party:  : #RahulGandhi"
"Gaindaa in zoo, looking at Arjun Kapoor: Aao kabhi pond me","rhinoceros in zoo, looking at arjun kapoor: come into the pond sometime"
@Fussy_Ca uske liye time hai,@Fussy_Ca there is time for him
@thegeniusstupid aisi body kaise banayi? Steroids?,@thegeniusstupid how did you make this body? steroids?
aadhe ghante tumhare saath travel kar liya chup chaap baith kar to nice guy hogaya woh? :-/,"he travelled with you for half an hour, so he became a nice guy?"
yo launda to bhokali nikla .  .  .  .  .,this boy came out to be stud.
@tweeting_pal bo ungh aave chhe :(,@tweeting_pal i am feeling extremely sleepy
"RT @RoflGandhi_ : Politicians se milna kam kardo baba , har cheez me credit lene ki aadat pad jaati hai :) https://t.co/iS7lYqZcBz","retweet @RoflGandhi_ : reduce meeting politicians dear , one gets the habit of taking credit in everything. https://t.co/iS7lYqZcBz"
@someUSER @someUSER i'm on the last 3 episodes for the 10th time .  i still want to bootfuck phil &amp, johnny sac every time they talk .
@kamaalrkhan Lekin accha banaya hai .. Good work .. 👍👍,@kamaalrkhan but it is made good . good work .
@satyaprakashty1 @OfficeOfRG Aur feku Aur akali ne most progressive state Punjab ko kangal Aur drug addict bana diya,"@satyaprakashty1 @OfficeOfRG , feku and akali made the most progressive state punjab poor and drug addict."
"bol le bhai, sahi farmaya hai, galat kuch nahi. Ye @nickhunterr toh hai hi mazzakiya","say brother, you said it right, nothing wrong. this @nickhunterr is funny"
"Ek ladki, anek deewane","one girl, many lovers"
Pls go to abroad ASAP aur haan Aamir Khan ki biwi ko bhi saath le jaiyohttps://twitter.com/brumbyOz/status/742974795663482880 …,please go abroad as soon as possible and yes take amir khan's wife also https://twitter.com/brumbyOz/status/742974795663482880 …
"Naam hai #Kohli "" khelta hu runs ki holi 0","name is #Kohli "" i play holi of runs"""
#WhereIsRahul Sonia gandhi ki godd me hoga :/,#WhereIsRahul must be in the lap of sonia gandhi.
"@retardedwriter LOL. Haan bhai tu ghar par jaakar so jaana, thakka huwa hoga :-P","@retardedwriter laughing out loud. yes brother you go home and sleep, you must be tired"
"This aunty is that annoying relative who be like ""NASA? To kya hua, khaali hi ghumta rehta hai aasman mein""pic.twitter.com/59o9U6ow0T","this aunt is that annoying relative who is like ""nasa? so what, keeps roaming freely in space ""pic.twitter.com/59o9U6ow0T"
@NeilSanghavi kuch dilwa do,@NeilSanghavi get me something
@HaddHaiYaar @bdheeraj mujhe bhi,@HaddHaiYaar @bdheeraj me too
s now #MSD turn ... nah jaane kaun c parivartan ki hawa badal rai hain @BCCI,"it is now #MSD turn, do not know which wind of change is changing @BCCI"
@iRaaahul kaunse launde ko rone par ladki mili hai @Alllahdin,@iRaaahul which boy has got a girl after crying @Alllahdin
Saala gaali pehele khud ne di.. Ab sun nahi sakta.. #GaandJalKeRaakhhttps://twitter.com/gsurya/status/607846940223537152 …,"abused myself first, now can not hear.. #GaandJalKeRaakhhttps://twitter.com/gsurya/status/607846940223537152 …"
"Twitter mein aapka swagat hai.
Krupya apne dimaag ki peti bandh kare, apna mobile phone apne pichwaade se chipkaye rakhe. Sukkhad yatra.","welcome to twitter
please tie up your brain box, keep your mobile phone glued to your back. happy journey."
Main rakhi rakhi chilaunga dhoti phaad ke.https://twitter.com/mid_day/status/802436583261491201 …,i will shout rakhi-rakhi while tearing my dhoti. https://twitter.com/mid_day/status/802436583261491201 …
zara sweaters k pattern to dekho .  .  . ek dum mohabbatein ka shahrukh lag raha hai,just look at the patters of sweaters. he is looking like shahrukh of mohabbatein.
@Alllahdin chai pe charcha karenge,@Alllahdin will discuss at tea
Bhai @msdhoni kab aaoge jab match nikal jayega hath se ?,"brother @msdhoni when will you come, when match will move out of hand?"
ab judges toh independent hain na 0 Phir bhi 0 #Modi #MannKiBaat samvidhaan ke oopar nahin 0,"now judges are independent, still 0 is 0  #Modi #MannKiBaat 0 is not above constitution"
@someUSER i would think you would do that if you are running for potus .  it may be part of your job someday .,"@someUSER i think, you would do that if you are running for potus. it may be part of your job someday."
@rohitshahmi07 bhaiya test captain of Aus,@rohitshahmi07 brother test captain of Australia
"SBI: Abhi lunch time hai baad me aana

Swiss Bank: Sir, aap kaho to aaj hum lunch hi nahi kare

#TheDifference","sbi: now it is lunchtime, come later

swiss bank: sir, if you say then we will not have lunch today

#TheDifference"
#NihalBitla India's face of Progeria dies in Telangana #RestInPeace https://t.co/nQl1OPkpQ3 https://t.co/NIUkbtCVKi,#NihalBitla india is face of progeria dies in telangana #RestInPeace https://t.co/nQl1OPkpQ3 https://t.co/NIUkbtCVKi
"Relationship between the brand and the brand ambassador 
@FarOutAkhtar: Bhag Milkha Bhag!
@rishabh_group: Bhag Grahak Bhag!","relationship between the brand and the brand ambassador 
@FarOutAkhtar: run milkha run!
@rishabh_group: run customer run!"""
@CatWomaniya pata hai. sudhar nahi sakte.,@CatWomaniya i know. cannot improve.
@anubhashukla7 jabse orkut aaya tab se jihadiyon ke khilaf ladta raha hoon. Twitter par kafi toned down ho gaya hoon :),"@anubhashukla7 ever since orkut came, i have been fighting against the jihadis. i am pretty toned down on twitter"
RT @VipulUpasani : Srisrimangeshda Hari Om Gurumauli really greatest program . Icing was satsang by you explain importance of #Mahashivratri,right @VipulUpasani : srisrimangeshda hari om gurumauli really greatest program. icing was the satsang by you that explain the importance of #Mahashivratri
Are koi to batao ab kya hoa #NoteBandi se mujhe lagta hai #UPElection2017 me #AkhileshYadav ko vote kre wahi he up ko sunder bna sakte hai,"anyone tell, now what happend. because of #NoteBandi i feel in #UPElection2017 people voting for #AkhileshYadav can only make up beautiful"
and then on tuesday &amp, wednesday its champions league match day 4 i think ?  ?  or it might be 5 .  . im not sure wooooo hooooo
bas kabhi iss baat ka ghamand nahi kiya.,just never took pride on this thing.
"the skinny: breezy may be getting it from riri and ex ,  kt .  getting that cake !  cake !  cake !  and eating it too .  &lt;3 .  .  .  http/URL","the skinny: breezy may be getting it from riri and ex , kt. getting that cake! and eating it too . &lt;3 . . . http/URL"
@MirzaSania @tufailelif @imVkohli Waise Damadji ne bhi Bada accha khaila .. Well played Shoaib Malik too .. #IndvsPak,"@MirzaSania @tufailelif @imVkohli by the way, son-in-law also played well. well played shoaib malik too.  #IndvsPak"
@KajuBadamChor Kaju Darling kahan hai tu aajkal? Kyu gayab hojata hai?,@KajuBadamChor kaju darling where are you nowadays? why do you disappear?
"Yes, songs like sarakyi lo takiya jaada lage.https://twitter.com/Fact/status/811496161420967936 …","yes, songs like shift the pillow i am feeling cold.https://twitter.com/Fact/status/811496161420967936 …"
"@Shahrcasm Chennai se aaya Ahmadabad..
...
 gate gate gate Idea..","@Shahrcasm came to ahmadabad from chennai.

 great great great idea."
and i am in office :'(,and i am in office.
aisa kis kis ke saath hua hai real life mein ?  batao jaldi jaldi .  .  . :p,this has happened in life with who all? tell fast fast
"short hair is back !  check it out .  (clockwise) alicia k ,  riri ,  miley c and twiggy the 1st skinny model .  #pi http/URL","short hair is back! check it out . in clockwise- alicia's , riri , miley like and twiggy, the first skinny model.  #pi http/URL"
@Rofl_Delhite MI ne bahut chitting kiya hai,@Rofl_Delhite mi has cheated a lot
"RT @_Rashi__ : @amazonIN Mosquito nets #10KeBaadKarenge , till then traditional mosquito killing http://t.co/1l1snIEi5U","retweet @_Rashi__ : @amazonIN mosquito nets #10KeBaadKarenge , till then traditional mosquito killing http://t.co/1l1snIEi5U"
@Sychlops mujhe Islam kabool hai,@Sychlops i accept islam
"my sister just sat up and asked where katie was going to sleep .  she is a little too old for an imaginary friend ,  don't ya think ? ","my sister just sat up and asked where katie was going to sleep.  she is a little too old for an imaginary friend ,  don't you think? "
.@sagarikaghose aap udaas kyu ho?? Saare samose @nitin_gadkari ji kha gaye kya ??,.@sagarikaghose why are you sad? did @nitin_gadkari eat all samosas?
yeh #Trump marge sab ko ... yeh world war 3 karge ... #Afghanistan .... ab #Pakistan ki bari hai,this #Trump will kill everyone . he will do world war 3  . #Afghanistan . now it is the turn of #Pakistan
Kya bum hai  jis ko chupa rahi ho.,what a bomb that you are hiding.
it is saturday after all .  question - is giroud the new torres ?  and superbowl switches to comerica park for game 3 .  where ?,it is saturday after all . question- is giroud the new torres ? and superbowl switches to comerica park for game 3. where ?
.@tweetfromRaghu chaar ghante me 8 RT..sharam kar,".@tweetfromRaghu 8 retweets in four hours, shame on you"
khachua sir hindi k bad maths b padhane lage ?,did khachua sir start teaching even maths after hindi?
Meet Mika Singh's imaginary friend Khyati Bhai.https://twitter.com/MikaSingh/status/737697358381715456 …,meet mika singh's imaginary friend Khyati brother.https://twitter.com/MikaSingh/status/737697358381715456 …
"Wife: Kya baat hai aaj mood me lag rahe ho?
Arvind Kejriwal: Modi* me","wife: what is the matter you are in mood today?
arvind kejriwal: in modi*"
Ye lo padhohttps://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/890533133036044288 …,take and read this.https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/890533133036044288 …
"Shirish tattoo ""meri biwi mera pati hai"" @ShirishKunder","shirish tattoo ""my wife is my husband"" @ShirishKunder"
"@Priya_Menon kanfyoojan mein hamesa rehna theek nahi, phocuswaa rakho moora, frustratiyao nahi moora","@Priya_Menon it is not good to be always i confusion, keep focus , do not frustrate"
@_SandSurfer @ghost_particle thode din baad yeh kissa savdhan india me aayega,@_SandSurfer @ghost_particle this incident will come in savdhan india after a few days
@_SandSurfer madar tune mujhse pahle kiya tha dekha maine,"@_SandSurfer mother, i saw you have done it before me"
hahaha arre accha hai. Main 720p se kam ka nahi dekhta.,"haha, it is good. i do not watch less than 720 pixels"
@Kahaanify Baadshah or Jab pyaar kisi se hota hai?,@Kahaanify king and when fall in love with someone?
"lol, main bhi yaar. *Hi5*","laughing out loud, me too dear. high five"
ka hai bhaiya  .  bahot din baad nazar aaye  ?  ?  ?  sab kusal mangal hai na,what brother.  i saw you after many days?  is everything okay?
@mnMalhi koi job ker lo .. farigh raheny sai accha hai,@mnMalhi do some job.  it is better than being idle
#TripleTalaq ke issue me inko #MuslimWomenEmpowerment ki fikr hai but inki safety ka koi arrangement nhi 0,"in #TripleTalaq issue, they are concerned about #MuslimWomenEmpowerment but there is no arrangement for their safety"
Yahan dhundne par ek nahi milti koi bhi umr mein.https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/885037632455094273 …,"on finding here, i do not get even a single of any age. https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/885037632455094273 …"
@Ra_Bies assee tey chhote motey dalley haan,"@Ra_Bies llikewise, i am a small fat mediator"
@TheSwayamsevak arre yaar main kamal nahi hoon aur dusre bhi kaam hote hain.,@TheSwayamsevak oh friend i am not lotus and there are other works too.
"manav viggap to laddu wale ho , game to apne kabhi khele hi nhi :p","from manav viggap to laddu, never played game at all."
Phatakhe to Hum hi Fodenge iss baar bhi . Indian Team Breaking the Jinx . #IndvsSa,this time also we will only do fireworks . indian team breaking the jinx. #IndvsSa
"@rowdytalks @alllahdin great, maine apne gharwalon ko bhi bol rakha tha. Thanks for sharing, main dekh nahi paya :)","@rowdytalks @alllahdin great, i had also told my family members. thanks for sharing, i could not see "
@rushingquark tu drugs par hai kya?,@rushingquark are you on drugs?
time for russia to win big match - capello: russia manager fabio capello on thursday said that he intended to re .  .  .  http/URL,time for russia to win big match.  capello: russia manager fabio capello on thursday said that he intended to re . . . http/URL
"@Amit_smiling nahi sahenge atyachaar
 #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar","@Amit_smiling will not bear injustice
 #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar"
lekin yeh jhut hi hamare lie khusi ka karan hota tha .  .  .  .,but this is the lie which was the reason behind our happiness.
@klpe acha hai. Thode grenades leke aana,@klpe its good. bring some grenades while coming
"@someUSER aww my celebrity day is this thursday also ,  going as jennifer hudson though :)","@someUSER aww this thursday is also my celebrity day, going as jennifer hudson though"
"If u r girl then its not true but if u r guy then yes u r only ,,,, :)",If you are girl then it is not true but if you are guy then yes you are only 
@Jal_Kukdi hahahaa.. Ye bhi sahi hai,@Jal_Kukdi haha. this is also right
@Nautankibaba yeh ho chuka hai,@Nautankibaba this is already done
RT @1ost__ : Bhout Pareshan Hun Sab Ky Parchy ho rahy Aur Mujh Py Parchy,"retweet @1ost__ :  i am very tensed, everyone is getting introduced but what about my introduction?"
pakistani player ne bhi badhiya khela . india ne bhi yah . game hai yddha nahi . maja leejiye . dono bhai aage badhe yahi duwa karte hai all 1.25,"pakistan player also played well. india too played well. this is game not a battle, have fun. all 1.25 wish that both brothers go ahead"
#TripleTalaq ram mandir ke vishay me maulanas ko constitution yaad aata hai aur triple talaq ke waqt sharia... bloody #hypocrite maulanas,"#TripleTalaq on the issue of lord ram temple the maulanas remember the constitution and on issue of triple divourse they remember poetry, bloody #hypocrite maulanas"
@Integrated_me shaadi ka laddoo.. jo khaye wo bhi pachtaaye jo na khaye wo bhi.. hum to kha ke pachtaenge,"@Integrated_me marriage is like a ladoo, those who eat it also regret and those who do not, they also regret. i will eat and regret"
"Wo Hindu ho kar bhi Hinduon ko barbad karta hai, Adarsh Liberal ka koi dharam nahi hota.","he being hindu, destroy hindu follower. the ideal liberal has no religion."
"Jab 4 - 4 girl friend Thi tab koi #jio nahi tha "" ab saaala #jio free hai to ek bhi girl friend nahi hai ......","when i had 4-4 girlfriends  then there was no #jio , now when i have not even a single girlfriend, then #jio is free."
ioc mulls armstrong bronze - sbs: the international olympic committee (ioc) on thursday said it had  .  .  .  http/URL #london2012,ioc mulls armstrong bronze - sbs: the international olympic committee(ioc) on thursday said it had . . . http/URL #london2012
"@perky_girl16 haaye, mere bhi dil ka haal dekh lo please","@perky_girl16 oh, please see my heart state also."
guddu : lagta hai kachua sir ko apne bache hue baalo se moh nhi hai .  .  .  inka kuch karna padega .  .  .  ,)
"Mom mujhe TV ka remote nahi mil raha kahan rakha hai?
Mom: Din bhar phone par laga rahega to ye hi hoga
Me: ??!!","mom i am not getting tv remote, where is it kept?
mom: if you will be using phone for whole day then this thing will happen
me: ?"
@Singhlicious aise hi kabhi kabhi marathi!,@Singhlicious sometimes like this only a bit of marathi! 
former westover hs (nc) star cj ford opens the season for murray state against brescia on november 9th at home .,former westover hs (nc) star cj ford opens the season for murray state against brescia on 9th november at home .
@someUSER brilliant result !  !  i think the winnings may go on our phone bill after i'm a celeb or dancing on ice if the rumours are true :(,@someUSER brilliant result ! i think the winnings may go on our phone bill after i am a celebrating or dancing on ice if the rumours are true 
@ChocolateCharsi no office hours ! Saara kaam ghar per,@ChocolateCharsi no office hours! saara work in home
@sonunigam @ aashis ji Mayur ji . aap ko bhi by Thank you aap bhi Khush rahi ye & bus khush rahiye,"@sonunigam @ aashis ji ,mayur ji . bye to you too. you also just be happy and happy."
@tweeting_pal Ab aap to sab jaanti hai,@tweeting_pal now you know everything
RT @arunvipra : Finally kejriwal launches free wifi .... and Laaloo receives signals https://t.co/Fg5qReiwev,retweet @arunvipra : finally kejriwal launches free wifi and lalu receives signals https://t.co/Fg5qReiwev
@WaggishDT Love me kush kush hota hai,@WaggishDT in love it is happy-happy.
@newsflickshindi @aajtak wow i like it yaha to bahut jyada call drop hote hai,"@newsflickshindi @aajtak wow i like it, here many call drops happen"
7-8 months sa kiski sarkar ha ?  aga to fir wo log manmani karanga .  abhi to state nd center dono unka pas ha  .,whose government is coming for 7-8 months ? if it comes then they will do arbitrary things.  right now both state and central government is with them.
Aamir Khan in Aap Ki Adalat 2016 ( Full Episode ) https://t.co/jzeBq2SULC via @YouTube,aamir khan in aap ki adalat 2016 ( full episode ) https://t.co/jzeBq2SULC via @YouTube
@TangledDokhtar kal aap puch rahe thehttp://www.opindia.com/2015/02/who-muted-bombay-leela-samson-or-pahlaj-nihalani/ …,@TangledDokhtar yesterday you were asking http://www.opindia.com/2015/02/who-muted-bombay-leela-samson-or-pahlaj-nihalani/ …
"Dil se nikli hai duaa, enough of this Gerua.","from heart came this wish, enough of this gerua."
"Har saal budget ho ya na h, ladkiyon ka bhaav bas badta hi jaa raha hai.","every year wheather there is budget or not, girls attitude is keep on increasing"
@dashhtweets Baal dye kiye hain. Dhokha na khao,"@dashhtweets dyed hair, do not get fool "
"#broncos peyton manning named afc offensive player of the month .  it's his 5th such honor ,  second to tom brady's 6 ,  tied w/ td . ","#broncos peyton manning named afc offensive player of the month. it is his 5th such honor, second to tom brady's 6, tied with td . "
"Famous bahot hai, bas kabhi ghamand nahi kiya.https://twitter.com/iam_cmk/status/832099311940956161 …",is extremely famous but never boasted.https://twitter.com/iam_cmk/status/832099311940956161 …
"Sapne dikhaane padte hai, aakhir usse aapke sapno mein hi invest karni hai.","you need to show dreams, at the end she want to invest on your dream only."
@LadylikeMadness biwi maike gayi hai,@LadylikeMadness wife is gone to maternal home
@kitAnurag @BBCWorld poptates toh Malad main bhi hai powai ya sakinaka kyun Jane ka,@kitAnurag @BBCWorld poptates is in malad also why we need to go to powai and sakinaka
#IndvsPak arre wo vaade ka kya hua ? kaha gayi ? Pak women's team to jeeti hi hai ! We are also waiting @QandeelQuebee,"#IndvsPak oh, waht happened to that promise? where it went? pakistan women's team already won!  we are also waiting @QandeelQuebee"
"Aaj na chhodungi tujhe dam dama dam, tune Kya samjha hai mujhe dam dama dam, dil mein feminism bhara, kaatu tera ___ thoda damdamadam.","today, i will not leave you, what you have thought me to be ? have feminism in my heart, should i cut your ____ a bit."
waooo abp walo ne dwa khridi ab abp k ghr m ramdev ka beta paida hoga .  .  . hahahahahha,wow abp members bought that medicine now in abp house ramdev's son will take birth.  .  . haha
Mhanje kaahi pan bolayacha? Nustach,where do you boil? nustach
Ya allah ap abhi tak nahi aye salman :(,"oh god salman, you did not come yet"
@Alllahdin kya hogaya?,@Alllahdin what happened?
@hindusangatjcd : * JAI shankar Hum Tamam Hindu Brothery Ko MAHASHIVRATRI Ki Lkh Lkh Badhai Dete Hi By . Dr lachhmandas makwana,@hindusangatjcd : * jai shankar. we wish lakhs times to our different hindu brothers of mahashivratri. by dr. lachhmandas makwana
@Keisar_ Tum bhi dharna dena shuru kardo ,)
Neend nahi aati tumko?,do you feel sleepy?
bhai tujhe to sab kuch pata hai ? Are You Reddit India CEO ?,brother you know everything ? are you reddit india ceo ?
"Shoaib Akhtar saying , SA ka performance toh Pakistan se bhi bura . Chal chup :/ Cannot compare Humshakals with Himmatwala ! #IndvsSA #SAvsIND","shoaib akhtar saying , sa's performance was worst than even pakistan. now be quiet. you cannot compare humshakals with himmatwala ! #IndvsSA #SAvsIND"
@White_Crimes ye kya bandaron ki fauj banayi hai?,"@White_Crimes what a army of monkey's, you have made?"
@byomkesbakshi theek hai mein apne saare adhoore pyaar pe karunga tweet.. Tum jhel nahi paoge..  2 din me block kar doge..,"@byomkesbakshi ohk, i will tweet on all my incomplete love. you will not be able to withstand. within 2  days you will block me."
@kamaalrkhan bhai aaj se 10 din pehle tune kabhi bete ke bare me nahi likha. Tune use god liya ya usne tujhe ?,"@kamaalrkhan brother for last 10 days, you have never written about your son. you have adopted him or he had adopted you?"
kash mera atm bi wapas mil jata .,i wish i had got my atm back
howz it possibleee.. and ksee bhai jan,how is it possible. and with whom brother
finally someone who thinks the way i do  !  .  whoever you are  .  .  .  .  you're awesome  !  :) ( y )  .  .,finally someone who thinks the way i do! whoever you are.  you are awesome! 
"Bjp first year : achche din claim fails Bjp 2nd year : clean government claim fails Stay tuned , Lalit Modi","bjp first year: good days claim fails; bjp second year : clean government claim fails. stay tuned , lalit modi"
@kamaalrkhan Sir aap kyu dar rahe ho. Aap to ink se bhi kaale ho.,@kamaalrkhan sir why are you scared? you are darker than the ink
"@UnSubtleDesi Ulti ye baat hai, aise haalat hai. Galti karein ye, main bharu... Iss dil ka kya karu?","@UnSubtleDesi opposite is this talk, situation is like this. these people do mistakes and i suffer. what should i do of this heart?"
Ab Sunny Leone ki laga.. 15 aa jaenge  https://twitter.com/Fussy_Ca/status/676286568454217728 …,now put on sunny leone. 15 will come.  https://twitter.com/Fussy_Ca/status/676286568454217728 …
@PoojaMissra jamane gaye par aise log abhi bhi hai yaar #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,"@PoojaMissra time has passed, but such people still exist #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar"
I am not an IITian .. but I think I know this guy .... Mr. Rocket Propelled Grenade,i am not an iitian. but i think i know this guy. mr. rocket propelled grenade
so guddu k valentine k kya plans h .  .   ?  ?  or laila kaha h  ?,so what are guddu's plans for valentine ? and where is laila  ?
@Oinkoo Pehle light bhi to aae,@Oinkoo first electricity should also come
"‘Jab koi accha gaata hai , dil mein utar jaata hai . ’ SaReGaMaPa continues its pursuit of fresh talent that touches chords from 26th March !","when someone sings good, that person swift inside the heart. SaReGaMaPa continues its pursuit of fresh talent that touches chords from 26th March!"
ab toh bohot wait krane lge ho .  .  .  . khi kejriwal ne 'garbage' pe jhadu toh nhi mar diya :-p ,-)
"wo ab Hardik patel "" Alpesh "" Jignesh "" Kanhaiya kumar aur Shehela Rashid indirectly krenge ..... 5 ka punch ...","now hardik patel, alpesh, jignesh, kanhaiya kumar and shehela rashid will indirectly do  punch of 5 "
"Charging prob at friends place

iPhone - Charger nahi hai.
Android - 4 charger hai, ek se main charge kar raha hu, 3 chalte nahi hai.","charging probe at friend's place

iphone - there is no charger.
android - there are four chargers, i am using one to charge, three don't work."
"Mazak, paisa aur whai jaaj  https://twitter.com/heisenjit/status/438162561406488576 …","joke, money and aeroplane  https://twitter.com/heisenjit/status/438162561406488576 …"
@CatWomaniya nahi dekhi to jaane do,"@CatWomaniya if not seen, leave it"
"Ameesha: Kaho naa pyaar hai.. Kaho naa pyaar hai.. 

Hrithik: NEW PHONE WHO DIS ??","ameesha: say there is love. say there is love. 

hrithik: new phone, who is this?"
"Kejriwal ka toh chotta se sambandh hai
Vote now https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/676338966623223808 …pic.twitter.com/aOtta601nJ",kejriwal has only a small relationship. vote now https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/676338966623223808 …pic.twitter.com/aOtta601nJ
""" @iyerdeepshri : Mohit Sharma ko ek chumma : * #CWC15 "" Chalo Kisi north indian bhramin Ki kismat to chamki 😃",""" @iyerdeepshri : a kiss for mohit sharma : * #CWC15 "" luck came to some north indian priest "
Phakakey phor lo Pakistaniyo. Koi kuch nahi bolega tumhe,do fireworks people of pakistan. no one will say anything to you
"RT @dna : Will make list of wilful defaulters public , says Raghuram Rajan https://t.co/qQIaYljFdh https://t.co/tCi08u7ZlD","retweet @dna : will make list of wilful defaulters public , says raghuram rajan https://t.co/qQIaYljFdh https://t.co/tCi08u7ZlD"
@White_Crimes :D mere liye bhi aise wale smiley do kabhi toh :-/,@White_Crimes give these smileys to me also someday
"#InsafianTheLosers Yeah but "" Haar Kay jeetnay Walay "" ( moral victories ) while Patwaris are "" Jeet Kay bhi Harnay Waly """,#InsafianTheLosers are those who win after losing( moral victories ) while Patwaris are those who lose even after wining.
bachcho ke naam soch le @Syntaxerrorhehe,think of names of children @Syntaxerrorhehe
"""Bhaijaan ka condom phat gaya.. maine uski silaai kardi.. i m soo issmart""

#TweetLikeAPakistani",brother's condom got burst. i stitched it. i am so smart
this is unfair .  ye kachhua master jee hamesha guggu se hi question kyun karte hain ?,this is unfair. why does this kachhua master sir question guddu only?
RT @Skgadiwale26 : Wearing Kirpan .. my waheguru ji will protect me from evil N negativity ... https://t.co/ZarYHYJJ3v,retweet @Skgadiwale26 : wearing kirpan . my god will protect me from evil and negativity . https://t.co/ZarYHYJJ3v
"Kaunsi dukaan se itni confidence khareedi hai, thoda location bhejnahttps://twitter.com/Aneela_7/status/844024812762673152 …","from which shop have you bought this much confidence, send some location https://twitter.com/Aneela_7/status/844024812762673152 …"
"Anushka ki :D

RT @dashhtweets: Kal Kohli kisiki maarega","anushka's 

retweet @dashhtweets: whose will kohli hit tomorrow?"
RT @bdnews_org : #bdnews #bangladesh Eight militants from Bangladesh surrender in Tripura - Business Standard : NewsxEight milit ... https://t,retweet @bdnews_org : #bdnews #bangladesh eight militants from bangladesh surrender in tripura - business standard : newsxeight milit ... https://t
"@Tweepshikha koi na, hota hai. Mummy ko mazaa aata hai daant lagaane, tum sad mat hona. Ye lo chocolate *gives coffee bite*","@Tweepshikha its okay it happens. Mummy enjoys scolding, you don't be sad. take this chocolate *gives coffee bite*"
@ExSecular Modi ji was right.. Achche din aane wale hai,@ExSecular modi ji was right. good days are about to come.
@InduSarabhai fake aadmi hai ye,@InduSarabhai he is a fake man
@clued_up_chic thodi si jo peeli hai.. Chori to nahi kee hai,"@clued_up_chic if i have drink a bit, i have not done a robbery"
@ShrrinG chane ka jhaad itna bhi strong nahi @Sharanyashettyy @c_aashish @Bodhisatvaa,@ShrrinG gram's bush is not so much strong @Sharanyashettyy @c_aashish @Bodhisatvaa
RT @_Ummi93_ : Awais DM me line mar raha he Bande da puttar banja !! :3,"retweet @_Ummi93_ : in unauthorize dm, person's son is trying - banja!"
#MahaShivratri May the Lord bless all . Nagendra Haraya_MS Subbulakshmi_Adi Shankaracharya : http://t.co/KzWJGtm6YH via @YouTube,#MahaShivratri may the lord bless all . nagendra haraya_ms subbulakshmi_adi shankaracharya : http://t.co/KzWJGtm6YH via @YouTube
"No , No . Upen Patel , Karishma Tanna ' Aren't Splitting Up ' After All : Upen and Karishma met on the se ... https://t.co/ujZOxvKdt8 via @ndtv","no, no. upen patel, karishma tanna are not splitting up.  after all : upen and karishma met on these  https://t.co/ujZOxvKdt8 via @ndtv"
@dhaval241086 dimaag me shit bhara hai @HDLindia @witchybitchygal,@dhaval241086 shit is filled in mind @HDLindia @witchybitchygal
@Alllahdin @ttrinadasgupta @ruchikokcha @retardedwriter aise badnaam na kiya kar mujhe ladkiyon ke beech :-/,@Alllahdin @ttrinadasgupta @ruchikokcha @retardedwriter don't spread negative information about me like this among girls
kiya maine ab tak? Hadh hai,did I do yet? its enough
@ZoomTV who is harman baweja ??,@ZoomTV who is harman baweja?
@SaleemChikna @sayshardik Achha sawaal hai. Kya laya?,@SaleemChikna @sayshardik this is nice question. what did you bring?
Sir @ArvindKejriwal Jio ke data plan aa gaye haipic.twitter.com/pG8XreJlmT,sir @ArvindKejriwal jio's data plans have arrived pic.twitter.com/pG8XreJlmT
Is moment me to Rahul ko kya sab ladko ko kuch kuch hua.https://twitter.com/02geeta/status/860138455921172480 …,"this moment not only to rahul, but to every boy something has happened.https://twitter.com/02geeta/status/860138455921172480 …"
happy 2015 garbage bin  .  you have been the best so far and wish you many more prosperous year ahead :),happy 2015 garbage bin. you have been the best so far and wish you many more prosperous years ahead 
"Long bola hai, beard nahi. Tum monk logon ko toh baal aata nahi , jalta hai tu mujhse majnuuu","i have said long not beard.  you monk people do not get hair,  you are jealous of me lover"
@Fussy_Ca matlab tere bhi jaldi 10K karwane padenge,@Fussy_Ca means now will have to make your also to 10k
@mans786 yes. Par Zimbabwe ke khilaf inhe kuchh ho jata hai. Pata nahi kya :),@mans786 yes. but something happens to them against zimbabwe. dont' know what
"Pehele tumhari boss #kangna ne jo bola woh sach hai sabit karo "" open challenge hai "" warna tum logo ki muh pey gobor fek k marungi 0 #Fraud","first whatever your boss #kangna has said, prove it right. it is an open challenge. else will hit your face with shit #Fraud"
Pedigree khao khud jaan jaohttps://twitter.com/sayshardik/status/597455920113717248 …,eat pedigree and know on your own https://twitter.com/sayshardik/status/597455920113717248 …
@Singhlicious tu to junkie hai,@Singhliciousyou are a junkie
@Atheist_Krishna hahaa.. Ek ka intezaam ho gaya.. 3 aur ko pakadta hu ,)
@LoKarloUnfollow ek aur website hai http://bhaggBossDK.com ,@LoKarloUnfollow there is one more website http://bhaggBossDK.com 
Ham bechare @askGST_GoI @askGSTech @gstindia ko kyun blame kar rahe hai jab hamara Finance Minister hi Chutia hai?,"why you are blaming we all poor @askGST_GoI @askGSTech @gstindia, when our finance minister is basterd?"
@MeetUunngLee bhai. Old monk.,"@MeetUunngLee brother, old monk."
"Haha, shukriya ji!",haha. thank you.
@AksharPathak rona aa gaya,@AksharPathak crying came
"Hans Raj Hans ? 

Mai kyun hasu ?","hans raj laugh ? 

why should i laugh?"
"@ek_samosa_dena yaar, mujhe neend na aaye mujhe chain na aaye koi jaaye zara dhoond ke laaye","@ek_samosa_dena friend, i do not get sleep, do not get peace. someone go, find and bring it back ."
"bhai tu jo bhi hai ,  par jo bhi tu post krta h ,  sidha dil tak aati hai .  .  .  .  .  .  lga rah bhai aise hi .  .  .  .  .  .  . ","brother whosoever you are, and whatever you post. it comes and touch my heart directly. keep going like this brother."
@someUSER vitali's may have more power on it but he tends to push it .  paulie's controls fights with that upjab,@someUSER vitali's may have more power on it but he tends to push it . paulie's control fights with that upjab
@Madan_Chikna tu bhi khelta hai kya?,@Madan_Chikna do you also play?
@Miss_Ankiita sabke liye time hai tumhare paas.. mere siva,@Miss_Ankiita you have time for everybody. except me
Kya baat Mishragee kya baat!,what a matter mishraji!
@CricCrazyNIKS han yahi maine bhi socha tha . baaki koi kid zid kar raha hoga to baby ki jagah use khila denge .,"@CricCrazyNIKS yes that is what even i though of. and if some kid will be stubborning then in place of baby, we will let him play."
Such a high voltage match ... but poor poor play by both teams .. kind of bore game .. no chances created by either tram #MUNLIV,such a high voltage match but very poor play by both teams. kind of bore game. no chances created by either tram #MUNLIV
RT @Challa_SRKian : @iamsrk_vraj @Sarcastic_Raj @NextToSRK @SRKFanship @iamsrk Irfan vraj ke account mein kya kar raha hai ?,retweet @Challa_SRKian : @iamsrk_vraj @Sarcastic_Raj @NextToSRK @SRKFanship @iamsrk what irfan is doing in vraj's account ?
Ab sab recharge karane tayyar ho jao ..... JIO ka bhandara khatam hua ....,now everyone get ready to recharge. jio's bhandara is over
@oxymoronic_me arre juhu tak kyu jaana? yahin andheri mein kahin?,@oxymoronic_me oh why to go till juhu ? why not somewhere in andheri?
Behen gaali pe utar aayee..  https://twitter.com/CatWomaniya/status/788326121141997568 …,sister came down on the abuse. https://twitter.com/CatWomaniya/status/788326121141997568 
@Lambar_Daar Priyanka ji Vadra se lambi hai,@Lambar_Daar priyanka is taller than vadra
@205HiDeeps arey Ashuuu sir ki khaas ' Twamily ' ki member kyu ni baat krungi yar ! Kamaal krte ho ap b,"@205HiDeeps oh shishu sir's special 'twamily' member, why will I not talk! you too do amazing"
Yeh likes kahan se aa rahe hain?pic.twitter.com/wtmUuTCUzA,where are these likes coming from?pic.twitter.com/wtmUuTCUzA
#Trump jab se aaya hai kuch loog to bilkul pagal ho gaye hain .. specially #radicals,"since #Trump came in power, some people have become completely mad especially #radicals"
"garbage bin .  .  syllabus mein street fighter ,  tekken 3 aur kings of fighter kab include hoga ?  ?  :p :p","when in the garbage bin syllabus street fighter, tekken-3 and kings of fighter will be included?"
"@krazyfrog ""khelne ke liye toh sabhi khiladi aate hain, jeetne ke liye ek""","@krazyfrog ""all players come for playing, only one for winning"""
mom-beta jab phone karti hu tuhi uthata hai  ?  tu batting nahi karta kya ?  :p :p,"mom- son whenever i make call, you receive. don't  you bat? "
Aman Ki Asha! #IndvsPakpic.twitter.com/NQBwlGYmer,aman's hope! #IndvsPakpic.twitter.com/NQBwlGYmer
kyu? Kya tabaahi machayi iss baar?,"why, what destruction you made this time?"
Kahan gayab ho gaye????,where did you disappear?
Kal ko us baby ki shadi ho ke usko bhi ek baccha ho jayega par ATM se paise nahi niklenge. https://twitter.com/dna/status/805279503429685250 …,"tomorrow, that baby gets married, he too will have a child but money will not come out of the atm. https://twitter.com/dna/status/805279503429685250 "
theater me ja k salman ka movie kabhi nahi dekhunga Internet pe 10 din k baad aayega download kar k dekhung!!! free me,i will never watch salman's movie in the theater. after 10 days it will be on internet. i will download it and watch for free
She : Bhaiya recharge kar do na,she : brother do the recharge
Love you salman bhai ...missing. .you ..salman bhai,love you salman brother.missing you salman brother
"@TrollKejri sab mile hue hai . Army aab proof bhi laya "" aab keya kare ? #surgicalstrike","@TrollKejri everyone is mixed together. now army got proof also, now what to do? #surgicalstrike"
pehli baar ladkiyo ki jagah ladke top karenge :d,"for the first time, boys will top instead of girls"
"Me : Arey papa niche building mein hi hu "" aaya","me : oh dad i am there down in the building only "" coming"
@abhishekmadan bhai whai?,@abhishekmadan same bro?
"@hinnaz Tu kar le phone, tu kyu nai karti","@hinnaz you call, why don't you"
Yeh kya fart hai ?,what is this difference?
@Alllahdin @YearOfRat main karu toh saala character dheela hai!,"@Alllahdin @YearOfRat if i do, then my character is loose"
@ankur0906 Lalu and Nitish ne milke Bihar ko luta hai #NitishKaNakliVikas,@ankur0906 lalu and nitish together have robbed bihar #NitishKaNakliVikas
oct 9 1888 the washington monument officially opened to the general public .  have you been to visit ?,"october 9 1888, the washington monument officially opened to the general public. have you been to visit?"
"jay jawan ,  jay kisan . ","long live soldier, long live farmer"
RT @MildlyClassic : Stuart Binny kaun hai ? Arre wo Stuart Binny ki wife ka husband . http://t.co/CRrv736Tfr,retweet @MildlyClassic : who is stuart binny ? he is husband of stuart binny's wife. http://t.co/CRrv736Tfr
@nisheethsharan Election jeetne se pehle ye haal hai..Jeetne k baad kya hoga khud he sochiye  #NitishLaluSting,@nisheethsharan this is the situation before winning elections. you yourself think what will happen after winning   #NitishLaluSting
@ChickenBiryanii Namita Bhabhi ki good news aane wali hai,@ChickenBiryanii namita bhabhi's good news is about to come
ye banda rahul gandhi ki haar ke sadme se ubar nahi pa raha hai :)https://twitter.com/HartoshSinghBal/status/859349258297892865 …,this guy is not able to get over from the shock of rahul gandhi's defeat https://twitter.com/HartoshSinghBal/status/859349258297892865 …
@scratchysingh rahne de bhai,@scratchysingh leave it brother
"Shashi Kapoor: ""Mere paas maa hai"".
Suresh Raina: ""Mere paas bhanja hai"".
Salman Khan: ""Mere paas driver hai"".
*awkward silence*","shashi kapoor: ""i have mother"".
suresh raina: ""i have nephew"".
salman Khan: ""i have driver"".
*awkward silence*"
"kya kahu bhai tumhara har stilepe josh hai,mano ya na mano sare ledki tumpe marte hai.jisko chaho apna banalo,khuda ka kasam kabhi na mat bolo.","what should i say brother, you have passion in every style, believe it or not, all girls die on you. make yours whosoever you want, god swear, never say no "
@Joojhaaru thik hai bhai,@Joojhaaru is it okay brother?
"""Ab log 2 mahine tak joke banaenge mere par""pic.twitter.com/LG8Czfdlkq","""now people will make jokes on me for two months""pic.twitter.com/LG8Czfdlkq"
"Itna badlav kaise aa gaya "" Lagta hai @DrKumarVishwas ki baat ka asar h . Ye wahi party hai jo #surgicalStrike pe bhi saboot maang rahi thi .","how did so much change occur "" seems like it is the effect of the talk of @DrKumarVishwas"". this is the party which was asking for evidence even on #surgicalStrike."
@iKunaal saare hi aise hai,@iKunaal all are like this only
@Desireux Mandal Aabhari _/\_,@Desireux board thankful
@ShrrinG abhi baaki hai?,@ShrrinG is it remaining now?
"#MakeSomeonesDayIn3Words

""KITNA BADA HAI""

Dil ki baat ho rahi hai haraamkhoro","#MakeSomeonesDayIn3Words

""how much big""

talking about heart, basterd"
@ammoloaded Woohoo! Bangladesh matlab Rohit ki century pakki,@ammoloaded Woohoo! bangladesh means rohit's century is confirmed
"bhai paise nahi hai. Sab ATM me 500 ke hi note hai, nikal bhi nahi sakta ","brother there is no money. there are only 500 rupee notes in all atms, i can't withdraw also"
.@khanff bhai pareshaan mat ho.. Tere naam me hi #FF hai - Fardeen Feroz Khan !!,.@khanff brother do not worry. your name itself has #FF- fardeen feroz khan !
"precisely, open forum dikha nahi ke chalo tatti karte hai.","precisely, as soon as saw open forum, started shitting. "
"@ImVeeDee yuhi kat jaayega safar sath tweetne se , ki manzil aayegi nazar sath tweetne se . Hum raahi Twitter ke @vichupedia @shikhakotak","@ImVeeDee the journey will pass this way only by tweeting together, that we will see the destiny by tweeting together. we are traveller of twitter @vichupedia @shikhakotak"
@klpe mute Ashwin?,@klpe mute ashwin?
bus contra aur mario hota tha !  :d,only contra and mario were there
"arre arre, zabardasti ke emotions ghused na hai. Whatsapp status mein bhi? Khush raho. Joke rakho","oh, oh, in whatsapp status also, unnecessary emotions needs to be included? be happy, keep jokes"
"Har Har Mahadev "" @KalrajMishra : Aap abhi ko Mahashivratri ki hardik shubhkamnayein ... Wish you all a very Happy Mahashivratri !!! """,har har mahadev @KalrajMishra : wish you all a very happy mahashivratri .. wish you all a very happy mahashivratri !
match hrane me guddu ka maa ka bahut bada hath hota agr guddu ke papa rokte nhi  .  .  :),guddu's mother would have a big hand in defeating the match if guddu's father did not stop
Aur kitne achche din chahiye tumko ??https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/638344894373888004 …,and how much good days do you want ?? Http: //twitter.com/ajatak/states/638344894373888004…
RT @UbcanilGupta : Arvind Kejriwal should tender public apology for remarks on PM Narendra Modi's degrees : BJP https://t.co/N7SIrV0SF0,RT @UbcanilGupta : Arvind Kejriwal should tender public apology for remarks on PM Narendra Modi's degrees : BJP https://t.co/N7SIrV0SF0
@omar_quraishi @MehrTarar @filmyjoyo ye to rakhi sawant se bahut aage hain .. poonam pandey+rakhi sawant = quandeel baloch😊😊,@omar_quraishi @MehrTarar @filmyjoyo this is very different from rakhi sawant poonam pandey+rakhi sawant = quandeel baloch😊😊
Duminy ko IPL nahi khelni kya?,did duminy do not want to play IPL?
@Atheist_Krishna Aadmi bura hota nahi hai.. Society use bana deti hai ,)
shri narendra modi g mai iss desh ka aisa naagrik hun jisne aaapko prime minister bnane k liye apna ek vote dia .  .  .,Shri narendra modi I am one of the citizen of country who voted you to make you prime minister
Ek hi joke kitni baar maroge?,how many times you will hit the same joke
almost sabhi #MPs ko malum tha ki #NoteBandi hogi lekin #public ko pta nhi tha to kaise kahe hum aazad hai ?,almost every #MPs knows #NoteBandi will happen #public doesn't know how can we say we are free ?
kejriwalji .  .  .  .  .  agar aap cm bangaye to kitne din me istifa doge  .  .  . ye bhi apne manifesto me daal do .  .  .,dear kejriwal also put your resignation period in your manifesto if you become Chief minister
your all updates are just so awesome .  .  !  !  !  !,your all updates are just so awesome
sir agar is bar aap jite to fir se 40 din m istifa nahi na denge .  .  .  .  .,sir if you win this time you won't give resignation this time
Government isi #TripleTalaq ke mudde ko hilight kiye ja rahi hai. Aur baki problems pe pratikriya aati hai ki hum kadi ninda karte hain. #TripleTalaq #Doubt,government is foccusing more on point of #TripleTalaq and react sadly to any other problems #TripleTalaq#Doubt
Dekha ek khwaab to yeh silsile huay...pic.twitter.com/e44fSYIT18,all this happened after i  saw a dream ...pic.twitter.com/e44fSYIT18
"@KyaUkhaadLega ye padhne ke baad ""God is apologize @imariaaz""","@KyaUkhaadLega After Reading this ""God is apologize @imariaaz"""
"RT @bdheeraj : Pan wala : Pandit ji , Katha ? Pandit ji : Satyanarayan ki , Ramayan ki jo bolo woh Pan wala : :| et @DefucktiveHumor","RT @bdheeraj : Pan wala : Pandit ji , Katha ? Pandit ji : Satyanarayan ki , Ramayan ki jo bolo woh Pan wala : :| et @DefucktiveHumor"
"@Parsahiya sir aap tabhi to best ho, mail me bhi best pawan aata hai ",@Parsahiya thats why you are best even on mail best pawan comes
"Ola mein bhi?
Yahan ek nahi mili waise https://twitter.com/drifter1753/status/846752401302458372 …",on ola also? didn't found one here  https://twitter.com/drifter1753/status/846752401302458372 …
Ab samjh nahi aa raha hai gaali #jio ko dena hai ya #TRAI ko 0,not able to understand whom to abuse #jio or #Trai 
@PoojaMissra They are also dalitdhar #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,@PoojaMissra Ye khud dalitdhar hai #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar
modi is best modi ki bigr duniya nhi chalti .,modi is best world stops without modi
ye to pura #desh jaanta hai ki #scam karna kiska #dharm h 0,Whole nation knows who has #dharm of doing Scam
Lageraho modiji pura des aapke sath he.,continue working modiji whole nation is with you 
aunty ye chhora thoda badtameez hogaya hai.  @MeetUunngLee,aunty this boy has became very mannerless @MeetUunngLee
@Miss_Ankiita iss din ke liye pyaar kiya tha tujhe,@Miss_Ankiita i loved you for this day 
ghost rider 2's a bad movie compared to the 1st .,ghost rider 2's a bad movie compared to the 1st .
Sir @narendramodi kya gajab kar rahe ho.. Petrol diesel ke aasmaan tak pahunch gaye hai.. Aasmaan se yaad aaya.. Plane se neeche aa jao,Sir @narendramodi kya gajab kar rahe ho.. Petrol diesel ke aasmaan tak pahunch gaye hai.. Aasmaan se yaad aaya.. Plane se neeche aa jao
"#JaatAarakshan Ek to #JNU main aur #kashmir main "" mere Jaat bhaiyon ko 20% Aarakshan de do "" all three problems will be solved forever","#JaatAarakshan Give 20% reservation to jaat brothers in #jnu and #kashmir "" all three problems will be solved forever"
"dhoti sambhalti nahi .  . party sambhalne ki baat karta hai budhau ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  , ",you are not able to handle your trouser and talk abou handling party
@tweeting_pal hahaa.. Aaj aap bhi Kejriwal ki keh ke le rahe hai..,@tweeting_pal hahaa you are insulting kejriwal a lot today 
maine kab mute kiya tumhe?,when did i mute you ?
Watching mahashivratri live on Aastha Tv @SadhguruJV ke sandhiy mein . Mahadevaye namah . http://t.co/v7kARX8jS7,Watching mahashivratri live on Aastha Tv under guidance of @SadhguruJV  . Mahadevaye namah . http://t.co/v7kARX8jS7
jihadion ke liye aah karna chhod do.https://twitter.com/RifatJawaid/status/885577808658944000 …,stop doing aah for terrorists .https://twitter.com/RifatJawaid/status/885577808658944000 …
"@PoojaMissra yes acche din aa gaye
Bihar ke  #GoodByeNitishKumar",@PoojaMissra yes Good days are back for Bihar  #GoodByeNitishKumar
aisi harkatein judge karne ke liye hi hoti hai :-/,These habits are for Judgement only
"Mothers in the 1980s: 
Chintu zara bahar jaa aur dahi le aa.
- Ok Maa.

Parents in 2017: 
Chintu dahi le aa NALAYAK, tera aaj se WiFi BANDH","Mothers in the 1980s: 
Chintu bring Curd from outside 
- Ok Maa.

Parents in 2017: 
chintu bring the curd otherwise your wi-fi will be disconnected"
@LoKarDi_RT tumhare kaan toh theek hai na ab?,@LoKarDi_RT is your ear fine now?
i get to procter the psat with my homie @someUSER tomorrow !  !  !  it only took them three years to partner us up lol,i get to procter the psat with my homie @someUSER tomorrow !  !  !  it only took them three years to partner us up lol
"Dadaji sahi kehte hai tumhare, aur main bhi.",me and your grandfather speak the truth
1st movie of the night: the vow,1st movie of the night: the vow
"aww love you austin rivers and happy to see you get start in 1st nba game .  .  . but it's against my boys ,  lets go spurs !  #spurs #nba","aww love you austin rivers and happy to see you get start in 1st nba game .  .  . but it's against my boys ,  lets go spurs !  #spurs #nba"
cj and kreckman wednesday: the guys are at stoney's getting ready for the nuggets season opener .  altitude's chris .  .  .  http/URL,cj and kreckman wednesday: the guys are at stoney's getting ready for the nuggets season opener .  altitude's chris .  .  .  http/URL
@White_Crimes @NY_nabila Tu majaak udaai jaa sabka guddoo,@White_Crimes @NY_nabila Guddu go and make fun of everybody
dad ko jo pata nahi .  .  unse woh kafa nahi,dad is rude with things he doesn't know
@MildlyClassic Visa nahi mil rahe,@MildlyClassic Visa is not available
Kal wala kuch aur tha.. check karo ghajini,yesterday's one was something different  please check ghajini
"going to 3mph: a woman's walk around the  .  .  .  at chautauqua community house on mon ,  nov 12 http/URL","going to 3mph: a woman's walk around the  .  .  .  at chautauqua community house on mon ,  nov 12 http/URL"
Lagta hai superover main bhi tie padegi.,feels like tie even in superover
RT @KyaUkhaadLega : When a non-marathi girl tried to kiss Raj Thackeray https://t.co/QVkkO3DROl,RT @KyaUkhaadLega : When a non-marathi girl tried to kiss Raj Thackeray https://t.co/QVkkO3DROl
kyon na apne utpad ki quality itni achhi ki jaye ki use sanrakshan ki zaroorat na pade ? #MakeInIndia,why don't increase quality of our product so that doesn't need protection  #MakeInIndia
"Main aaya, beer laani hai kya?",i am coming should i bring beer?
"RT @foninjaTW : Rainy day it is , couldn't get better with masala chai and garam pakoraas #food #foodie #mumbairains","RT @foninjaTW : Rainy day it is , couldn't get better with masala chai and garam pakoraas #food #foodie #mumbairains"
"So finally MS Dhoni whispered Faf Du Plesis "" Beta out ho jaa nahi toh IPL se out kara dunga "" LOL #IndVsSA","So finally MS Dhoni whispered Faf Du Plesis "" son give your wicket otherwise i will remove you from IPL "" LOL #IndVsSA"
@Mad_Mommy_ Kuch RW bhi kam nahi hai,@Mad_Mommy_ Kuch RW is also not incomplete
"It means, muh mein daant nahi aur kahin aur se akhrot todne ki baateinhttps://twitter.com/retardedwriter/status/740979945204256769 …","It means, don't have teeth in mouth and trying to break walnut from any other thing  https://twitter.com/retardedwriter/status/740979945204256769 …"
@mainimanish @PAYBACKIndia bacho ko iPad Dene ka #PointKyaHai Point Kya Hai,@mainimanish @PAYBACKIndia what is the #pointkyhai in giving ipad to children
"Aaj kal Chai walo ka zamana chal raha hai, pahle Modi, ab Cutting.",time is of tea sellers right now first modi now cutting
Aaj 1 taarik hai.. ab tak petrol diesel ka price nahi badaya govt ne ?,today is 1 government didn't increased price on petrol diesel?
Bhakt to aakhir bhakt hote hai chahe #Modi ke ho ya #Trump ke,devotees are devotees only whether they follow #modi or #trump
Bummprrr hittt in saahALLAH....,Bummprrr hittt in saahALLAH....
"@bhaiyyajispeaks sahi baat, pehli beer abhi kholi hai,  @MeetUunngLee Sunny Leone ka naam na le, long weekend & I'm a single man.","@bhaiyyajispeaks correct point , just opened first beer ,  @MeetUunngLee don't say Sunny Leone, long weekend & I'm a single man."
@someUSER ha . finally i can add you in my circle and come to close to talk with you on 11/6 .  .  . yeah . 1st time to see real jeremy lin .  . so excited .  .,@someUSER ha . finally i can add you in my circle and come close to talk with you on 11/6 .  .  . yeah . 1st time to see real jeremy lin .  . so excited .  .
"@khanzahra10 ab hogaya match khatam, chhodo bhi",@khanzahra10 leave it match is over now
"only 25k to go before garbage bin hits 1 , 000 , 000 likes .  lets do it . ","only 25k to go before garbage bin hits 1 , 000 , 000 likes .  lets do it . "
@Alllahdin @Dishasatra Bahot Hi adhbhoot tarah se tweet kar rahe hai aaj aap.,@Alllahdin @Dishasatra you are tweeting in a wonderful way 
Raat mein logon ko tumhare sirf daant hi dikhte honge waise.https://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/148817896771039232 …,people could only see your teeth in night .https://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/148817896771039232 …
diet starts monday when i wake up .  ends the same day .  always happens,  always diet starts monday when i wake up .  ends the same day .
"Hahaha log chahte Hai main aurat hi banu, aur to bhi?! ",every want that i become a girl even you ?
Woh pareshan karte rahe aur ham aise kaam karte rahe.https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/624909667173429248 …,they disturbed us and we continued working.https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/624909667173429248 …
"Jo chahiye dikhao, bas akkad nahi",show everything  you have but not perkiness 
kam se kam chalk to le aya .  .  .  nahi to khali haath hi .  .  sir khatam ho gyi .  .  .,atleast bought a chalk otherwise empty hand .... sir finished
RT @PMOIndia : Swachh Bharat Mission gets a boost . #SaalEkShuruaatAnek #MyCleanIndia http://t.co/hVtBkrUVDe,RT @PMOIndia : Swachh Bharat Mission gets a boost . #SaalEkShuruaatAnek #MyCleanIndia http://t.co/hVtBkrUVDe
@BabaFirki abbe kyu hasa puch raha hu,@BabaFirki  i am asking why did you laugh
"ismein permission kyu maangna hai? Kar le, ghanta kisiko na fark padne wala hai.",why permission in this thing? do wahtever you want to do nobody cares
"RT @BollywoodH : Shahrukh Khan , Alia Bhatt , Sidharth Malhotra & Others At Karan Johar's Party : https://t.co/tuabPWAgef via @YouTube","RT @BollywoodH : Shahrukh Khan , Alia Bhatt , Sidharth Malhotra & Others At Karan Johar's Party : https://t.co/tuabPWAgef via @YouTube"
"takle, kaisa hai?","bald man, how are you ?"
Sallu bhai aaj apka dil garden garden kyu ho rha h....??? Koi to locha h....,sallu bhai why your heart is exicted something is wrong
@tweeting_pal Jo gift mujhe diya tha.. Wo @sardesairajdeep ko bhi de dena,@tweeting_pal the gift you gave me give it to  @sardesairajdeep also
"@someUSER yea i say ,  mid january for a new single .  right in time for the superbowl&amp; video at the end of january leading into superbowl","@someUSER yea i say ,  mid january for a new single .  right in time for the superbowl&amp; video at the end of january leading into superbowl"
@realpreityzinta aaj kya anti himachal day hai .... Jo aap hum himachal waalo ko ignoring 😯😯😉😂 #pzchat,@realpreityzinta what a anti himachal talk today which is ignoring for himachal living people like us   #pzchat
veer ji aa gai mai karooooo start yo yo yo jai salmannnnnn :),veer ji i am back please start jai salmannnn
"Achha tum choose kar lo bimaari, okay?",ok you choose the disease
"Modi channelising Inner Sonia Gandhi #PowerIsPoison RT @htTweets PM Modi: Satta mein ek nasha hain, bhagwan humain iss nashe se bachaye.",Modi channelising Inner Sonia Gandhi #PowerIsPoison RT @htTweets PM Modi: politics is intoxination god help us from that 
@MohMaaya Tu haathon mein to hai mere.. phir kyun nahi lakiron mein,@MohMaaya you are in my hand but not in my fortune 
"you know in the game of football  ,  that team wins who scored more goals than its opponent  . ","you know in the game of football  ,  that team wins who scored more goals than its opponent  . "
@MeetUunngLee bhai kya?,@MeetUunngLee what brother ?
haha .  .  omg !  so true fukrepanti le chakkar mein sab kuch sehan kr lete the,haha .  .  omg !  so true we use to burden anything due to poverty
i want my boondi ke laddo :( and afterwards jalebi at home .,i want my boondi ke laddo :( and afterwards jalebi at home .
"Shabana: Kahan se aa rahe hain huzoore ala?
Javed: Covfefe
Shabana: Ya allah, kothe se!
Javed: TV news dekh haramkhor.","Shabana: from where are you coming huzoore ala?
Javed: Covfefe
Shabana: Ya allah, kothe se!
Javed: after watching TV news bastard."
kaha gayab hi gaya tha be @OfficeOfRG,where did you go ? almost disapperead @OfficeOfRG
the right question would be .  .  . kaun kaun nahi chipka hua hai tv se ?,the right question would be .  .   who is not tv addicted  ?
#DelhiMetro ke #pricehike ke baad jab #Delhi ke log apni car ya bike ka istemaal jyada karenge to #delhipollution bhi jyada hoga ....,#DelhiMetro ke #pricehike ke baad jab #Delhi ke log apni car ya bike ka istemaal jyada karenge to #delhipollution bhi jyada hoga ....
@friendlii_ghost shaam ko pakka bhai,@friendlii_ghost brother confirm in the evening 
david guetta's playing with alesso at fort canning 8th oct .  only want to hear alesso leh .,david guetta's playing with alesso at fort canning 8th oct .  only want to hear alesso leh .
Ye lo @sagarikaghose aaj tumhare chakkar me Modi ji bhi secular ban gayepic.twitter.com/QPK0SJZ7Pw,look @sagarikaghose because of you modi also became secular pic.twitter.com/QPK0SJZ7Pw
.@sreenivasanjain beti vyahni hai kya?,..@sreenivasanjain isn't daughter vyahni?
rbba sch a looser .  .  . khud nibjeet sktey to dusro ki har celebrate krne agye .  .  . uff these people,rbba sch a looser .  .  .if they can't win why they are joining others lost .  .  . uff these people
@Fussy_Ca gubbare me suee karne ki aadat hai tumhari,@Fussy_Ca you have habbit of pricking the balloon
"@someUSER wow !  you're also a percy jackson fan !  :-) the 4th book of heroes of olympus will be entitled  "" house of hades ""  @someUSER","@someUSER wow !  you're also a percy jackson fan !  :-) the 4th book of heroes of olympus will be entitled  "" house of hades ""  @someUSER"
maar ja duubbb keee chullu bhar paaanii mainn !  !,go and die in water 
@balliawalebaba zabardat wale phamous.. Poore mohalle ko pata chal gaya level,@balliawalebaba very famous .. whole colony knows the level 
".@LalitKModi Maza nahi aya, aur kuch bolo sir",.@LalitKModi  it was not that interesting tell something different 
i can't forgive farrackhan for the malcolm x thing .  and ninjas ain't done sht since the million ninjas march .  .  . name one thing . where the$,i can't forgive farah khan for the malcolm x thing .  and ninjas ain't done shit since the million ninjas march .  .  . name one thing . where the$
Toh kaunsi bhasha bolte ho?,so which language do you speak ?
Iska Jawab hai kisi ke pass .... ?,anybody has answer to this ?
Ye tujhe kaise pata?,how do you know this
"Dear confessor . Well its still on and these days the kids call it \ "" mi \ ""","Dear confessor . Well its still on and these days the kids call it \ "" mi \ """
"@AskThePankazzzz main isse ek kadam aage hu, maine kuchh bhi nahi pehna hai.",@AskThePankazzzz i am one step ahead of him i haven't wore anything
"freestyle wednesday - #np big l ,  jay z ,  mos def ,  black thought ,  eminem ,  yelawolf .  .  .  love it","freestyle wednesday - #np big l ,  jay z ,  mos def ,  black thought ,  eminem ,  yelawolf .  .  .  love it"
"kya gaane the bhai! Saare.
Hum the woh thi aur samaan rangeen samajh gaye na!","""what were the songs brother.
me and her was there and the evening was beutiful !"""
shayadi ke bare me aapka kya khayal h. aap shyadi karoge ya fhir kaware rahoge. muje bahut badi tanson ho rahi h.,what about your marriage will you marry someone or remain single forever i am having lot of tension
Ati sundar sir sabse hatkar Vande~~~~~ sir,very good sir different from others vande~~~sir
RT @suryatej_borra : @NavbharatTimes @dna @ndtv The press release from @ArtofLivingABC about @SriSri quote . @DeccanChronicle apologies ? http,RT @suryatej_borra : @NavbharatTimes @dna @ndtv The press release from @ArtofLivingABC about @SriSri quote . @DeccanChronicle apologies ? http
@steppennwolf ankit ka naam sukanya kyun save kiya hai?,@steppennwolf why did you saved ankit name as sukanya
bhai hai tu mera bhai hai.. tujhsr kabhi panga nahi loonga.. pls mere ss mat lena. Love u,brother you are my brother i will pick a fight please don't take my ss love you
To kya hua. Pakistan bhi to haara hai !,so what happend . pakistan is also lost !
That's not cool buddy ...,That's not cool buddy ...
@Singhlicious lol. Ye kya kar diya bhai?,@Singhlicious lol. what have you done ?
"@Gurmeetramrahim #MustWatchMSG NO . 1.11111111111111E+028 #BlockBusterMSG FILM , DEKH KR HILLA DRUGS MAFIA , THE END FOR DRUGS ""","@Gurmeetramrahim #MustWatchMSG NO . 1.11111111111111E+028 #BlockBusterMSG FILM  , drig mafia shocked afetr seeing THE END FOR DRUGS """
sara media bika hua h .,all media is sold out 
She : Bhaiyya mujhe Chandi colour ka dress chahiyeShopkeeper : Accha to tumhe Silver kameez chahiye ?,She :  i want chandi colour dress Shopkeeper : oh so you want silver collar  ?
Dilwale dulhaniya wapas le jaao.  #UpcomingSequels,dilwale take back your dulhania  #UpcomingSequels
@Dude7375 cup le jao chahe. Patakhe nahi phootney chahiye,@Dude7375 go and take the cup. but there should be not any crackers 
@sayshardik @Funadrius @SaleemChikna @jessejulka haan harani yahan par bhi footage,@sayshardik @Funadrius @SaleemChikna @jessejulka yes harnai footage is also here
i've seen every denzel washington movie and flight has @someUSER in it too  !  i miss that kid  !  but i'm in that theatre tomorrow  !,@sayshardik @Funadrius @SaleemChikna @jessejulka haan harani yahan par bhi footage
"#GuessTheSong
Jab gam ye rum mein kho gaya, toh khoon bhi patla hogaya","#GuessTheSong
Jab gam ye rum mein kho gaya, toh khoon bhi patla hogaya"
sab uth gaye! =D,everybody wake up 
"@Sweeton_Dsilva haan. Par government ko yeh sab kaise pata, un logo ko paise ke alawa kuch nahi dikhta",@Sweeton_Dsilva yes but how government knows about those persons they don't know anything other than money 
2 se jyada dikhaoon to site band karega? open challenge. @postcard_news,if i show you more than 2 will you close your site ? open challenge. @postcard_news
"Sharmaji aap late aaye ho, magar tumhare liye dukaan khul jayegi :P",sharmaji you are late but shop will open for you 
Ye sare prblm jo tumne mention kiye vo sab bhi solve hoge... Leki first #TripleTalaq and #banOnMPL,all the problems you have mentioned will also be solved but  first #TripleTalaq and #banOnMPL
"perhaps  ,  your situation with english is bad than everything else whatsoever -_-","perhaps  ,  your situation with english is bad than everything else whatsoever -_-"
@theobtuseskull are kuch to tweetne ke liye chahiye na!,@theobtuseskull something is required for tweeting 
Apne is photo ke jariye Vivo ka advertisement kr rha hai @HardikPatel _ kal bda gyan baant rha tha #MakeInIndia pr,doing advertisment of vivo using your phot  @HardikPatel _ yesterday he was giving some knowledge #MakeInIndia pr
Sabka sath sabka vikas...Gud,everybody contribution everybody development
Huhhh Watse our time ..... 3:30 se 4:00 Or ab tk ata pta nhi,Huhhh Waste of  our time ..... 3:30 to 4:00 and didn't know about 
@ZeeNewsHindi ask rahul gandhi who made him Rajya sabha member and why what he offered to party ?,@ZeeNewsHindi ask rahul gandhi who made him Rajya sabha member and why what he offered to party ?
abhi ro dega @BabaGlocal,he will cry @BabaGlocal
"beech wali seat pe baithna jaanleva ho sakta hai ,  dab jate hain bumper pe :(",middle seat in beach is dangerous get pushed by dumper 
aapka manifesto is full of lollipop sir .  .  .  .,your manifesto is full of lollipop sir 
"tickets for the france ,  belgium ,  netherlands ,  germany ,  denmark ,  norway ,  and sweden tmh tour go on sale tomorrow !  good luck !  :) via @someUSER","tickets for the france ,  belgium ,  netherlands ,  germany ,  denmark ,  norway ,  and sweden tmh tour go on sale tomorrow !  good luck !  :) via @someUSER"
"@ANI_news tumhari party hamesha note hi toh leti hai , bahut saare note . 💵",@ANI_news your party always takes notes lot of notes
yaar guddu .  .  .  bhai aaj office hai,brother guddu please come to office 
India beats UAE now price of petrol & diesel hiked ....... or haralo UAE ko :) ////,India beats UAE now price of petrol & diesel hiked .......  try to win against  UAE ko :) ////
Sir zone kar diya?,sir have you made zone ?
"get your sweat suits !  it's november and its time to lax !  practice tonight ,  game at @someUSER tomorrow .  #fallball","get your sweat suits !  it's november and its time to lax !  practice tonight ,  game at @someUSER tomorrow .  #fallball"
Abey modiye k bhakton #GST ke baad kya sasta hua hai. Tum log 10 cheez daily use wale batao #GSTLoot,everybody modi fan  #GSTwhat got cheaper you tell me any 10 general use products #GSTLoot
i guess knicks/heat is on for now .  pretty clear that tomorrow's game wasn't going to happen .,i guess knicks/heat is on for now .  pretty clear that tomorrow's game wasn't going to happen .
"Ladkiyon ke haath peele kara do, aur ladkon ke jeb dheeley kara do.",make girls married and spend boys money 
"The line ""Mera desh badal raha hai"" for ads must have been suggested by NaMo only. 2 saal me ek wo hi hain jinka desh badalta raha hai.","The line ""Mera desh badal raha hai"" for ads must have been suggested by NaMo only. in 2 year their country has changed "
@iamGunjanGrunge Jitne mile usme se aadhe Kejriwal ko de diye ,)
Shakti Kapoor has faith in Shraddha Kapoor.,Shakti Kapoor has faith in Shraddha Kapoor.
Sonia aur Rahul jo parchoon ki dukan chala kar gauzara karte hain...unhe badnam karne ki?https://twitter.com/NavbharatTimes/status/726614059232059397 …,sonia and rahul who is selling list for earning for their bad reputation?https://twitter.com/NavbharatTimes/status/726614059232059397 …
chal beta selfi le le.......hi.bhaijaan,lets go son take a selfie hello brother
Bhai jaan bolu naa.. yar,brother just speak hi brother 
"Saba Naqvi supports calls of ""Bharat ki Barbaadi"" and ""Pakistan Zindabad""?https://twitter.com/_sabanaqvi/status/697819674755477506 …","Saba Naqvi supports calls of ""Bharat ki Barbaadi"" and ""Pakistan Zindabad""?https://twitter.com/_sabanaqvi/status/697819674755477506 …"
Beta @firstpost yehi soch to badalni haihttps://twitter.com/firstpost/status/621297749888143360 …,son @firstpost this thinking we have to change https://twitter.com/firstpost/status/621297749888143360 …
"#MahaShivratri "" @IndiaHistorypic : Mallikarjuna Swamy Temple , Srisailam in Andhra Pradesh , one of the 12 Jyotirlingas http://t.co/5gH2KPZ5h3 ""","#MahaShivratri "" @IndiaHistorypic : Mallikarjuna Swamy Temple , Srisailam in Andhra Pradesh , one of the 12 Jyotirlingas http://t.co/5gH2KPZ5h3 """
: LAST NIGHT MAHASHIVRATRI RUDRABHISHEK ..... Kartikey Maharaaj .. http://t.co/xWBhMGBDAM,: LAST NIGHT MAHASHIVRATRI RUDRABHISHEK ..... Kartikey Maharaaj .. http://t.co/xWBhMGBDAM
@dwivedi_ji12 ye jaichand usse bhi khatarnaak hai. khaamossh #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan @PoojaMissra,@dwivedi_ji12 this jaichand is more dangereous than him silent #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan @PoojaMissra
laddu ke liye do do baar line main lagna ,)
ye google kyu hai uske aage?,why there is google in front oo him
the nonstop movies on 31st ,-)
miss that north wali thand .  .  .  .  :( pune main toh thand he nahi hoti .  .  .  .  .  .,miss that north wali thand .  .  .  .  :( don't have cold in Pune  .  .  .  .  .  .
"@narendramodi R/s PM ji thoda sa to bolo Haryana ki betiyo k upar chupi todo. Ek din me 3 gang rape ""JIND Thoda sa to bolo "" k sath mat tolo JAI HIND","@narendramodi R/s PM please speak about haryana daughters . three gang rape in one day ""JIND speak something"" k sath mat tolo JAI HIND"
woh bhi theek hai.,That is also correct.
We love you Salman bhai <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3,We love you Salman bhai <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
"*during dinner*
Her :- ""Aaj sabzi ka taste thoda ajeeb hai na? Pata nahin kyun .... "" 
Him :- ""OMG! Gadkari! Mat khao use ....""","*during dinner*
Her :- ""today curry taste is somewhat differrent? don't know why.... "" 
Him :- ""OMG! Gadkari! don't eat this ...."""
@Being_Humor hahaha jis number se message aaya hai uss par kar ke dekh,@Being_Humor hahaha try to do it on number which came from this message
...phookna ho toh phookne ke liye chiller sambhalne honge.,you have to keep change if you want to smoke
Uncle! Uncle! har chiz mein religion..religion..kaiko? :-) Quran ho..ya bible.. aap ache hona pata chalta hai..bas... ushme bhi..ye sab ghuser diya kaiko? :-D,uncle uncle why religion in everything either it is quran or bible if you are good that matters 
"Main kaisa seedha saadha, main kaisa bhola bhala, jaane kaun ghadi mein pad gaya padhe likhon se paala...MEETHI CHHURI SE HUWA HALAAAL",i am such good and innocent i don't know in which i am born 
@YounggunRB2 unhone poore Bihar ko dhokha diya #GoodByeNitishKumar,@YounggunRB2they betrayed Bihar #GoodByeNitishKumar
@Atheist_Krishna woh sab Ooooollluuu k phatte haipic.twitter.com/exQh4VPAen,@Atheist_Krishna they are all fools pic.twitter.com/exQh4VPAen
everyone talks about eli manning being the best in the 4th qtr .  jay cutler has the best qbr rating in 4th qtr in the nfl #getsome #dabears,everyone talks about eli manning being the best in the 4th qtr .  jay cutler has the best qbr rating in 4th qtr in the nfl #getsome #dabears
abhi to party shuru huee hai @BUnlimted,The party has begin now @BUnlimited
Aapne tatti khaayee hai ? https://twitter.com/nimitdell/status/799967383553064960 …,Have you had shit  ? https://twitter.com/nimitdell/status/799967383553064960 …
"@MunnaKaTunna waah @Alllahdin Sir, charan sparsh","@MunnaKaTunna waah @Alllahdin Sir, feet touch"
@iJustinFanatic @actorvijay tamil superstar hai yeh😍aur mere future pati🙈,@iJustinFanatic @actorvijay tamil superstar hai yeh😍aur mere future pati🙈
"Batting karne do unhe, ye charas pilaane ki baat kar rahe hai. https://twitter.com/MdShami11/status/822036165557702656 …","let them do batting, they are speaking to give them weed . https://twitter.com/MdShami11/status/822036165557702656 …"
@slimswamy aap bade bhai jaise ho. Thappad bhi maar do toh haq hai aapka,@slimswamy you are like big brother you have right to slap me 
"Ek haath beer liye agar tweet rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum.",if you are tweeting with holdig beer in one hand then you are alive
"@kamaalrkhan Sir , If ur star , then aapki film kyun nahi aati","@kamaalrkhan Sir , If ur star , then why don't you feature a film."
"@RowdyTalks bade haraami ATM machines hai inke bhai, card wapas dena hi nahi chahte",@RowdyTalks they have very bad atm machines they don't want to give card back 
"Arranged marriage inquiry pehle padosiyon se hoti thi, ab FB profile par hoti hai.",neighbours are first source of inquiry in Arranged marriage in past now it is done on the facebook
@huh_watnow samaj ni aaya,@huh_watnow didn't got you
@Footloose_Free ek lifafa mere liye.. ek aapki bahriya ke liye,@Footloose_Free one envelope is for you and one is for your sister 
@Mr_Lawwyer bhai man to marneka hai. wo to aapki behen bacha leti hai har bar.,@Mr_Lawwyer i have plan to suicide but your sister saves me every time 
@akshaykumar sir aapne kal ek video post kiya tha uska idea mujhe bohot hi accha laga . Jab #uriattack hua tha tb mera bhi ye vichar tha but,@akshaykumar i liked your video you posted yesterday .during #uriattack i had the same thoughts
anonymous asked you: you remind me of wednesday adams .,anonymous asked you: you remind me of wednesday adams .
"If you have a clue know who this guy is , tell us , we have been trying to find out too ...","If you have a clue know who this guy is , tell us , we have been trying to find out too ..."
"Haan, tu aaj shaam beer pila de! :P","yes, give me a treat of beer today evening "
@ek_samosa_dena inko sabko Sri Lanka bhej do,@ek_samosa_dena send all of them to sri lanka
"Adani

RT @ANI_news Delhi chunaav mein haar ke baad BJP baukhlaayi hui hai, humare kaam mein taang adaane* ki koshish kar rhe hain: Kejriwal",Adani
Rukawat ke liye chhed hai #MumbaiRoads,Sorry for the Delay #MumbaiRoads
"@scratchysingh haha, ghar walon ki bhi ajeeb dhoom hoti hai. Jeene nahi dete.","@scratchysingh haha, parents have a different thoughts they don't let me live"
i think i met the person i want to spend the rest of my life with :),i think i met the person i want to spend the rest of my life with :)
@BolshoyBooze ab @aanchalator ke bachhon ka naamkaran hoga :-D,@BolshoyBooze now @aanchalator children will have naming 
@Ares_c3108 kya hai ye?,@Ares_c3108 what is this?
RT @kiranFati_Kirru : She : Mom main aa gayi . Mom : Kya leke aayi Mall se ? She : 40-50 Selfies . 😍😎😉😉😉,RT @kiranFati_Kirru : She : Mom i am back . Mom : what did you boght? She : 40-50 Selfies 
"Ye dekho aaj aunty ne bhi bol diya sach.
@MeetUunngLee - 1, @iHrithik - 0https://twitter.com/Arunapk57/status/788356420898992128 …","see today aunt also told the truth
@MeetUunngLee - 1, @iHrithik - 0https://twitter.com/Arunapk57/status/788356420898992128 …"
support: we're excited that stan walker &amp, advocates are running for the kids the sun-herald city2surf soon !  .  .  .  http/URL
#209 : Can anyone recommend some good streaming site to watch free movies online ?,#209 : Can anyone recommend some good streaming site to watch free movies online ?
@ChhotaPacket_ Jo @Footloose_Free didi pe panga leta hai.. gayab ho jata hai.. Mr India ne bhi panga liya tha Didi se,@ChhotaPacket_ Jo @Footloose_Free who takes revenge from did .. just disappers.. mr india also took revenge from didi
Jhonka hawa ka aaj bhi chhup ke hilaata hoga na #Samir #HawaKaJhonka #BeingSalmanKhan,today also wind blow moves  #Samir #HawaKaJhonka #BeingSalmanKhan
"@Joydas India ke logo ne Rahul Gandhi ko bhi yehi bola voting ke din ""Aagey jao"" LOL @HathwalaThakur","@Joydas India this is what everybody said to rahul gandhi during voting ""go ahead"" @HathwalaThakur"
@Insane_chorri aise logo ki wajah se 'online dosti' shabd ki ahmiyat khatam ho rahi hai @DiwakarKothari_,@Insane_chorri due to these people online friendship lost its value @DiwakarKothari_
@pktutu thanks tutu bhai,@pktutu thanks tutu bhai
@PoojaMissra Har taraf vikas ka bahana aur asliyat toh sab jante he hain  #NitishKaNakliVikas,@PoojaMissra every body know reality behind actual development  #NitishKaNakliVikas
Pani me se bijli nikaal loge to kisan usse sinchai kaise karenge?pic.twitter.com/2F3u87ansz,if you remove electricity from water how will it used by farmers ?pic.twitter.com/2F3u87ansz
ise kehte hain method acting !  !  :d,this is known as  method acting
@ek_samosa_dena hahaa.. Itne RTs ka khoon mere haatho mat karwao,@ek_samosa_dena hahaa.. dont make me murder this much RTs 
@1AhamSharma Om Namha shivaye : my dear bro ... Mahashivratri ki hardik shubkamnaye ...,@1AhamSharma Om Namha shivaye : my dear bro ... Mahashivratri ki hardik shubkamnaye ...
"#RailBudget2015 : Modernize infrastructure , make Indian Railways financially self-sustainable : Suresh Prabhu , RM http://t.co/2brHGQpZ0T","#RailBudget2015 : Modernize infrastructure , make Indian Railways financially self-sustainable : Suresh Prabhu , RM http://t.co/2brHGQpZ0T"
@teelu9540 plans Kya hai ?,@teelu9540 what are the plans ?
"nahi bhai, tera dil bada hai bas wohi matter karta hai. *aankho mein aansoo*","no bro your heart is big thats what matters to me ""tears in eye"""
@DefucktiveHumor Whatsapp karna bhai @Gott_Partikel @AdrianaVecc,@DefucktiveHumor do a Whatsapp  @Gott_Partikel @AdrianaVecc
@pranavsapra wah! yeh to maine kabhi socha hi nahi. abhi me bhi rakhunga,@pranavsapra i never thought about this i will also use it 
spartan ki stages bhi kafi tough thi .  .  .  .,stages of spartans was tough
vo bhi kya din the jab hum enjoy kiya karte tha .  .,what were the days when we use to enjoy 
july 8th .  .  .  it's goin down at dar constitution hall .  .  .  i'm gonna make this last part rhyme .  .  .  mb y'all !  !  !  !  !,july 8th .  .  .  it's goin down at there  constitution hall .  .  .  i'm gonna make this last part rhyme .  .  .  good bye all 
aage se ya peeche se ?? @Humor_Silly,from front or back?? @Humor_Silly
@The_Sleigher Haha that's Sanjay Dutt in Rudraksh,@The_Sleigher Haha that's Sanjay Dutt in Rudraksh
@hitlerbai lol.. Sahi kaha.. Abhi dekhta hu,@hitlerbai lol..correctly said .. i will see it 
"1970s ki baat kar rahe hai, auto lock kahan tha? ",i am talking about 1970s there was no auto lock
RT @SriSri : Our volunteers have taken up mission to clean & rejuvenate Nallagandla Lake . 6 truckloads of garbage were removed . ( 2 ) https://t .,RT @SriSri : Our volunteers have taken up mission to clean & rejuvenate Nallagandla Lake . 6 truckloads of garbage were removed . ( 2 ) https://t .
"_/\\_ I actually know this guy and it's a true story , in fact this guy is M2K but for some reason he chose not to sign his name to the post ~ Eddie","_/\\_ I actually know this guy and it's a true story , in fact this guy is M2K but for some reason he chose not to sign his name to the post ~ Eddie"
"Batao, melody itni chocolatey kyon hai?
Sorry. Aaj mera bullshit ka vrat hai.","""tell me , why melody is so chocolately?
Sorry. i have fast of bull shit today ."""
"car race ,  yai yaar kungfu ,  contra ,  spec mario ,  karateka ,  & the best one ninja turtles .  .  .  .  love those 64 bit games .  .  .  . ","car race ,  yai yaar kungfu ,  contra ,  spec mario ,  karateka ,  & the best one ninja turtles .  .  .  .  love those 64 bit games .  .  .  . "
@ra_bies waise bhi har chunauti ka hans kar samna karna chahiye @alllahdin,@ra_bies we have to face every challenge by smiling @alllahdin
bhai ye sir konsa topic pada rhe hai maths me  ?  ?  linear equation in 2 variables  ?  ?  aisa to kabhi nahi dekha .  .  .  .  :o,brother what sir is teaching in maths linear equation in 2 variables i have never seen something like this 
Sardaar Gabbar Singh || Power Star Pawan Kalyan || Sankranthi Special Te ... https://t.co/T2zPT1qlic via @YouTube,Sardaar Gabbar Singh || Power Star Pawan Kalyan || Sankranthi Special Te ... https://t.co/T2zPT1qlic via @YouTube
@Insane_chorri lol. Aisa bhi hota hai,@Insane_chorri lol. this also happens
@ArvindKejriwal @imVkohli * indian bhi bol lo sirji kahe emotional ho gaye .. jaiye new movies release hui hai dekhiye aur review dijiye :D,@ArvindKejriwal @imVkohli * indian bhi bol lo sirji kahe emotional ho gaye .. jaiye new movies release hui hai dekhiye aur review dijiye :D
"the sun is out for president's day !  today will be a good day ,  perfect way to finish the cricket season . ","the sun is out for president's day !  today will be a good day ,  perfect way to finish the cricket season . "
@clued_up_chic haan ye bhi baat sahi hai,@clued_up_chic ya this is also correct 
guddu maan kaise gya jaane k lye ?  ?,how guddu agreed to go 
like if you want gautam to win today !  !  !  !,like if you want gautam to win today !  !  !  !
bhai tu toh romantic ho gya !  -_-,bhai you became romantic  now 
aaj mahaul aur cartoon .  .  .  . dono rangeen ho gye  .  .  . kya baat hai .  .  .,today environment and cartoon both of them are colourful superb
@APoonia19 bachche itni raat tak jagte nahi,@APoonia19 children don't wake up uptill this late 
"@avinashpareek bhai maafi, aapka blog ek aur baar share kar do",@avinashpareek brother soory plese share your blog one for time 
Lingodbhava Kaalam 12:30:12 to 12:32:23 Say It Loud Om Namah Sivaya Maha Siva Ratrhi jagaran #MahaShivratri,Lingodbhava Kaalam 12:30:12 to 12:32:23 Say It Loud Om Namah Sivaya Maha Siva Ratrhi jagaran #MahaShivratri
#RahulGandhi .. bhiwandi n malegaon ki jeet mubarak 0 congress ki jeet media nahi batati .. yahan se jeet ki shroowat ho gayee hai ...,#rahul gandhi congrats for win in bhiwandi and malegaon nobody needs media here win has started from here
hahahha:):) sharma ji ka honhar balak:):) saurabh sharma,briallint sharma ji son hahahha saurabh sharma
@TweetErrant bhai tu try kar.. ho jaega.. itna tough nahi hai,@TweetErrant bhai tu try kar.. ho jaega.. itna tough nahi hai
Bhai life mera sirf ek hiii khawb hai... Apke. Sath ek selfieee bhai,brother i only have one dream in life taking selfie with you 
Boy : Tum Ladki Ho Ke Sharab Peeti Ho ?? Awesome reply by Girl : To Kya 2-4 Peg Ke Liye Gender Change Karwaun ???,Boy : you are a girl then also you drink alcohol?? Awesome reply by Girl : so what should i change my gender for 2-3 peg ???
"lol, mhaari chhoriyan chhoron se kam hai ke?","lol, my daughters are not less than my son "
"school mein republic day ki speech khatam hone ke baad sweets bate jaate the .  .  i miss those sweets .  .  .  and singing  "" jana gana mana ""  with all my schoolmates :)","sweets were distributed in school after independence day speech i miss those days and singing ""jana gana mana"" with my friends"
"playing as the browns hc k .  fri in #madden13 ,  xfacalac lost to the ravens 21-28 on all-madden #connectedcareers","playing as the browns hc k .  fri in #madden13 ,  xfacalac lost to the ravens 21-28 on all-madden #connectedcareers"
"good morning my friends ,  wish you very nice friday with love ,  peace ,  art and mutual respect -:)","good morning my friends ,  wish you very nice friday with love ,  peace ,  art and mutual respect -:)"
happy birthday nick j may you live long and happy :),happy birthday nick j may you live long and happy :)
Patakhe nahi logon ki jalao.,blow people instead of crackers 
@Arshiyahh Ek hazaaron mein mere papa hain,@Arshiyahh Ek hazaaron mein mere papa hain
"Aur doston, ye kuch chaunka dene wale aakdepic.twitter.com/5gPNT3zzTS",hello friends here are some interesting stats pic.twitter.com/5gPNT3zzTS
udher #trump dhamkiya de raha hy aur ye log apne liye bandobast kar rahy hy : P #pmln,there #trump is threating and here these people are doing  bandobast  : P #pmln
@rt_Kalle Ab world Cup ki baari hai !,@rt_Kalle Ab world Cup ki baari hai !
@MeetUunngLee kuch toh jugaad kar lenge,@MeetUunngLee kuch toh jugaad kar lenge
"@Choti_Daku bas hogaya ab,bahot tweets barbaad kiye tum par. Spam horaha hai DM karo.","@Choti_Daku bas hogaya ab,bahot tweets barbaad kiye tum par. Spam horaha hai DM karo."
@someUSER justin is going tea time with sophia grace and rose tomorrow on the ellen show at 4 on really :),@someUSER justin is going tea time with sophia grace and rose tomorrow on the ellen show at 4 on really :)
Ye kaunsi bhasha hai? (20 marks)https://twitter.com/Shararatii/status/891695550873186305 …,which language is this? (20 marks)https://twitter.com/Shararatii/status/891695550873186305 …
"Har dalit ko hindu colleges me reservation hai "" AMU or Jamia Millia me nahi hai .. tab koun poochta hai .. koi nahi",every dalit have reservation in hindu colleges but not in AMU and jamia milia then who asks nobody 
@drpoonam haha. bas aaj baki hatu,@drpoonam haha only for today
why dont people understand the difference betwen a confession and a question  ?  anyway to answer your question  .  .  because we dont need to impress anyone -_-,why dont people understand the difference betwen a confession and a question  ?  anyway to answer your question  .  .  because we dont need to impress anyone -_-
@PrachiSharma707 tumko neend nahi aati kya?,@PrachiSharma707 you don't feel sleepy ?
uss time 3 bacche hote the ghar mai .  .  .  ek aage ek beech mai or ek goad mai .  .  .,that time we use to have 3 child in home one in front one in back and one in hand
"""Bachna aee haseeno.. Lo mein aa gaya..""pic.twitter.com/4WsFDrWQzt","""all ladies just be safe i am coming .""pic.twitter.com/4WsFDrWQzt"
cc @IncomeTaxIndia har roz she is debiting money. IT team ko bhejna zara..https://twitter.com/divya_16_/status/811500144038289408 …,cc @IncomeTaxIndia everyday she is debiting money. please send the IT team..https://twitter.com/divya_16_/status/811500144038289408 …
Ab tu bhaag bhaag bhaag bhaag #Bakarmax http://bakarmax.com/comic/ab-tu-bhaag-bhaag-bhaag-bhaag/ …,now you run run run #Bakarmax http://bakarmax.com/comic/ab-tu-bhaag-bhaag-bhaag-bhaag/ …
@LoKarDi_RT @TweetErrant tu bakwaas bandh kar,@LoKarDi_RT @TweetErrant tu bakwaas bandh kar
@_Sir_John_ LOL.. Maaf karde John bhai isko ,) @BabaBakChod @witchybitchygal @GhantaGyaan
"en plein visionnage de  "" shut up and play the hits !  ""  james murphy est mon dieu .  .  . ","en plein visionnage de  "" shut up and play the hits !  ""  james murphy est mon dieu .  .  . "
@BilquisRayeen @PAYBACKIndia Ghar se dur Jane ka kya Matlab jab laut k wahi aana hai #PointKyaHai Point Kya Hai,@BilquisRayeen @PAYBACKIndia what is the point in goinh away from home if you have to come back at same point #PointKyaHai Point Kya Hai
@Payal091 mujhe bhi nahi aaya,@Payal091i also didn't get it 
mere papa used to do dat .  .  . luv uh papa .  .  .  .,mere papa used to do dat .  .  . love you papa .  .  .  .
"Sir "" Aaj BJP Hoti satta me to desh ke hit me #SurgicalStrike kar ke 1 ke badle 10 sir le aati ...",sir if today BJP was in power it was in country favour #SurgicalStrike they could have bought 10 head for 1 head 
"""Kitna dubla hogaya hai kuch khaata hi nahi""
- An Indian mom about her 120kgs son",how much weight you have lost does not eat anything an indian mom about his 120 kgs son
Is Ayushman Khurana playing Ranbir Kapoor in Hawaizade?,Is Ayushman Khurana playing Ranbir Kapoor in Hawaizade?
"mayoos ho gaya hoon aaj main zindagi key iss safar se .  .  .  .  .  .  .   .   .  maqsad ki mohabatain hain ,  aur matlab ki dostiyaan .  .  .  .  .  .   . ",i am depressed with life now from this journey destination is love and selfish friendship
"Ye bandhan atoot hai apna, pavitra bhi.",this relation is strong and sacred also 
@ttrinadasgupta @TheVacuumHead free ki daaru ke liye insaan kisi ki bhi jaan le sakta hai. Haaye kalyug,@ttrinadasgupta @TheVacuumHead human can kill anybody for free alcohol what a century 
awesome !  maza aa gaya !  thank you !,awesome ! enjoyed a lot ! thank you 
@Heerahee wahan to koi marta nahi tab surprise lagta hai @Baburao_,@Heerahee there nobody dies that is suprising @Baburao_
@BUnlimted aur bhaiya bada kaam karna ho to ??,@BUnlimted hello brother what if i have to do big work ??
"I hope Sarfaraz remembers one thing. ""Yeh match tum jeete nahin, tumko jitwaya gaya hai."" I'm with Aamir Sohail.","I hope Sarfaraz remembers one thing. ""you didn't won the match we made you win."" I'm with Aamir Sohail."
@upadhayay03 nehin bhula yaar ... yahan koi yaad nehin karta tha ta aana chhod diya,@upadhayay03 i didn't forget here nobody remembers that's why i left it 
Sahi. hai #feku toh bahut achhe hai sir ji #domo #gst sara plan plan hai bas aab malya ke pass jana bacha hai @bhai_08,correct  #feku is most suited for sir #domo #gst every pln is ready now ready to go to malya @bhai_08
@angryoungwoman nahi terrorist ka saath do tum bhi.. Jo log 26/11 me mare unke ghar to nahi gayee tum aansu bahane..,@angryoungwoman no you also support terrorist.. you didn't went to house of people who died in 26/11 to cry 
@ShootinThoughts Aalok rai ke profile par dekhi to socha share kar dun. Badhiya hai.,@ShootinThoughts  i saw on aalok rai profile so i thought of sharing it
Chalo bhiyaaa Rajwada !!!,brother lets go  Rajwada !!!
@tweeting_pal Aunty mujhe akele darr lagta hai.. Aaj mein aapke saath so jau ?,@tweeting_pal aunty i feel feared in sleeping alone should i sleep with you 
the notebook may be one of the greatest movies created of all time&lt,3
@Humor_Donor old monk white rum aati hai?,@Humor_Donor do old monk white rum available now?
Ashutosh ne koi autobiograohhy likhi kya? Jo tumne padhi?,have ashutosh has written any autobiography that you have studied
"Kitne naam hai, confuse ho gaya tha :(",how much name i was confused 
@sagarcasm Please suggest kar do bhai . Bahut badi wali thanks rahegi . @crickBC,@sagarcasm Please suggest kar do bhai . Bahut badi wali thanks rahegi . @crickBC
if jenelle comes to the game tomorrow .  .  .  i'll die #missherlots #itsbeentolong #mybaby,if jenelle comes to the game tomorrow .  .  .  i'll die #missherlots #itsbeentolong #mybaby
bharat ko vishwa guru banne se koi nahi rok sakta......vande matram,no body can stop India from becoming world leader .. vande matram
Ek saath bulao sab...., call everyone 
hahahaa tashreef maar li aapne inkik @isaifpatel,hahahaa you have shown your face inkik @isaifpatel
Jetja ji.. Aaj Iyer ghar mein nahi hain.pic.twitter.com/GZIeBYWU9w,Jetja ji.. today iyer is not at home .pic.twitter.com/GZIeBYWU9w
paise ke jagah pe morton toffee milti thi :),instead of money we get morton toffe 
RT @Funny_Truth : Bananas can reduce the swelling and irritation of mosquito bites and help with nicotine withdrawal .,RT @Funny_Truth : Bananas can reduce the swelling and irritation of mosquito bites and help with nicotine withdrawal .
bhai awesome .  sab log seats se chipke raho jab tak wc na jeet jayein hum .,brother awesome every stick to the seat until we win th wc
@ndtv @OfficeOfRG @narendramodi did he kept his own promise to village #RahulgramTaparian ? No moral right but just want to play dirty polit,@ndtv @OfficeOfRG @narendramodi did he kept his own promise to village #RahulgramTaparian ? No moral right but just want to play dirty polit
"Bihar mein Jungle Raj 2 release hogi ya nahi, jaanane ke liye dekhte rahiye aaj tak.",will jungle raj2 release in bihar or not for more information stay updated on aaj tak
awesome .  .  sharma ji ka launda .  .  lol .  .  pankaj khangar,awesome . . sharma ji son . . lol . . pankaj khangar
"badnaam na karo, waise bhi naam kharab hai ",don't spoil the name alredy not so good reputation 
wahan border par aarmy jaan de rahi aur tum yahan #RightToPrivacy ki baatein kar rhe ho ?,army is dieing there at border and we are talking about #RightToPrivacy  ?
abhi tk kyu nhi aye aap salman sir??$$$$ dieing to tlc to u.......,why didn't you came uptill now salman sir??$$$$ dieing to talk to u.......
Jai Maharashtra https://twitter.com/CloudOfBooze/status/686955974486183936 …,Jai Maharashtra https://twitter.com/CloudOfBooze/status/686955974486183936 …
"RT @imdpk007 : Afzal hum sharminda hai , Pakistan ko harane wale abhi zinda hai - Slogans in JNU #IndvsPak #WT20 @coolfunnytshirt","RT @imdpk007 : Afzal we are embarrased  , those who defeated pakistan also living - Slogans in JNU #IndvsPak #WT20 @coolfunnytshirt"
@TheDilliMirror hahaha.. Bhabhi tujhe pehchaane se mana kar dengi,@TheDilliMirror hahaha.. bhabhi will refuse you from back 
@enlightenedme_ kabhi nahi subah 4 baje uthkar emo lagi hui hoti hai tumko bahot jor se.,@enlightenedme_ kabhi you get a emo in every early morning 4 am 
@HathwalaThakur Thakur tum saari ladkiyo ko apna deewana bana lete ho.. Kuch hamare liye bhi chhod do pls @akshaykanitkar @Ra_Bies,@HathwalaThakur thakur you make every girl your fan .leave something for us also  @akshaykanitkar @Ra_Bies
"beating the retreat ceremony is conducted on the evening of january 29 ,  the third day after the republic day .  #facts","beating the retreat ceremony is conducted on the evening of january 29 , the third day after the republic day . #facts"
"Bahut kam Log Jante hain ki "" #Notebandi Modi ji k liye "" Blue Whale Game ka Pehla Task tha 0",very few know  #Notebandi was first task for modijji in blue whale game 
Yeh 7 min toh khatam hi nhi hote. Aap kaha ho jaldi aa jao.,this 7 minutes doesn't end. where are you come fast
mere master g muzhe danda laane k liye bhejte they  .  .  .  .  jb period khatam hota mai tb danda leke aata tha :) :),my master use to send me to take the stick whenever period was over i use to bring the stick
@Dishasatra @premlata_rai tumhare aane ke liye main apni zindagi nahi barbaad kar sakta na,@Dishasatra @premlata_rai i cannot waste my life over you coming 
@CopyWalaTweet tu bhi pile @Nirmalogy @Fussy_Ca,@CopyWalaTweet you also drink @Nirmalogy @Fussy_Ca
miranda chhodkar kuch or discussion bhi karlo kyu paka rahe ho subah se campus me or bhi college hai uff  .  .  .,discuss something other than miranda why you all are boring me we have lot of places in college 
Isse kehte hai tolerance. Krisha bhai se seekho. https://twitter.com/Atheist_Krishna/status/702457562591920128 …,this is called  tolerance. learn from krishna brother. https://twitter.com/Atheist_Krishna/status/702457562591920128 …
"Lo ab ""Har topic par thread banana zaroori nahin hai"" ispe bhi thread ban gaya ",look now every topic has a thred now it is not required to make thread on every thread
"@basher24 @bhak_sala @OpIndia_com aare aap aa gaye, yeh lelo aaj ke liye http://www.opindia.com/2015/01/and-it-was-bjps-turn-to-u-turn/ … read and rt ok.",@basher24 @bhak_sala @OpIndia_com oh you have came take it for today http://www.opindia.com/2015/01/and-it-was-bjps-turn-to-u-turn/ … read and right ok.
love u bhai tumhare liye ye jaan bhi de sakta hu..Love u bhai jaan sallu bhai..,love you sallu brother i can give my life over you love you brother sallu brother 
@mishrageee haha! I can relate. Dard samjhta hu main,@mishrageee haha! I can relate. i can feel the pain 
@GabbbarSingh @forwardshortleg free nahi chahiye,@GabbbarSingh @forwardshortleg not want free
happy republic day friends ^_^,happy republic day friends ^_^
#5saalkejriwal sir aap jeet rahe ho aakhir tak mehnat karnge .  .  .  .,#5saalkejriwal sir you are winning we will work hard till last .
ofc :''( .  .  . but koi ni wifi kab aayega .  .  . free wifi ka poorn ishtemaal hoga aaj :o :p .  .  .,No problem whenever Wifi will come wifi will be used completely 
Om Namah Shivay MahaShivratri ki ratri ka samhya aa gaya bhagto . . Ek baar dil se bol do .... Har Har ... http://t.co/smqIXcP1hQ,Devotees its time for Om Namh Shivay MahaShivratri ratri speak with heart  Har Har ..  http://t.co/smqIXcP1hQ
@vijaykr16 haww @tasneembulsara5 dekho ye kya bol raha hai,@vijaykr16 haww @tasneembulsara5 look what he is speaking
richie hawtin - monday night - buffalo town ballroom - don't miss it !,richie hawtin - monday night - buffalo town ballroom - don't miss it !
Shreyas Aiyyar is the future captain.,Shreyas Aiyyar is the future captain.
@roshd Yeh to Gandhi Smriti ho gaya,@roshd this has became Gandhi Smriti 
kabhi to waqt pe aya kro salu miya..........,salu miya please come on time 
Ek retweet ka kya bhaav chal raha hai aajkal?,even one retweet is valued more nowdays
#313 : I got dumped after 6 years . Feel like shit . Really on the verge of being suicidal . Anyone got any suggestions ?,#313 : I got dumped after 6 years . Feel like shit . Really on the verge of being suicidal . Anyone got any suggestions ?
"#PMModi ne kaha ki yeh ek vijay prapt satr raha. Iss budget session mein LS mein 21 bill aur RS mein14 bill parit ""hue #GST bills bhi: A Kumar",#PMModi said this was the great budget session. 21 bills in LS and 14 bills in RS got passed even #GST bills :Akumar
it was not happen in my school .  my school teachers are awesome .  when we hv any query we go frankly in staff room & our tchr's nvr deny .  i miss my school days  !,it didn't happened in my school my school teachers were whenever we had any query we use to ask it from teachers in staff room our teacher never denied. i miss my school days
waise maine 10th ke baad maths nahi pada so i can be wrong but i think x=3 . 33,i can be wrong as i haven't studied maths after 10th standard but i think x=3.33
khel hai yaar .  .  .  tension kyon lete ho .  chill .  :),dont take tension it is just a game
@dhaansu_handle bhai agli bar koi accha photo editor use karna.,@dhaansu_handle use a good photo editor next time
@Lambar_Daar bhai behen kar bhi kya sakte hai.. Haahaa,@Lambar_Daar  what can sister brother can do 
@KyaUkhaadLega Daru milti hai. @friendlii_ghost,@KyaUkhaadLega is alcohol available. @friendlii_ghost
@BhasadiKutta ab ki baar.. bhasadi ki ke saath in bar @Being_Humor,@BhasadiKutta this time in time in the bar with bhasadi @Being_Humor
"Astrologer to groom: Yeh shaadi nahi ho sakti. Aap mangal-leak ho.
#WaterOnMars","astrologer says to groom, “you cannot get married. Your horoscope is not suitable"" #WaterOnMars"
www 0 bbc 0 co 0 uk / music / artists / fdf 25 d 7 c - d 8 f 4-4736- ad 24- bf 2286 a 61254,www 0 bbc 0 co 0 uk / music / artists / fdf 25 d 7 c - d 8 f 4-4736- ad 24- bf 2286 a 61254
Where is the team of #TripleTalaq? #Modi ji Behne yaad hai ? Sack this culprit @PremShuklaBJP ya Aurto par diya hua bhaashan bhi Jumla hi tha,where is the team of #TripleTalaq? #Modi do you remember your sisters?Sack this culprit @PremShuklaBJP or was the speech on women also an election promise.
"guddu ki mummy ne jab kaha  "" udbilao aaya hai ""  .  .  .  this was epic  !  !  ! ",it was epic when guddu's mother said that a beaver has come.
"RT @ShazooQureshi : Khair hogai , Australia se jeet jayenge InShaAllah .",rt @ShazooQureshi : It will be good if they win against australia if god wills.
hope so we win the trophy again :),hope so we win the trophy again.
"Daaru piyo, aansoo nahi.",drink alcohol and not tears.
plz dont came as a fraud client .,please dont came as a fraud client .
"sab moh maaya hai, sab moh maaya","everything is an illusion, everything is illusory."
"Weekends ko tatti zyada aati hai.
#ThingsYouDontWantToKnow","you shit more on weekends.
#ThingsYouDontWantToKnow"
Log yahan chain se sone bhi nahi dete. Shya!,people don't even let you sleep properly.
"login karne ke baad aapke account me 150 ka free recharge add ho jayegaa .  .  ,   !",after login free recharge of 150 rupees will be added to your account.
@someUSER saturday i buy my ticket for the #tmhtour in belgium !  i'm so happy !  :),@someUSER saturday i buy my ticket for the #tmhtour in belgium !  i'm so happy !  
Britney Spears ne bhi isse jyada time liya tha divorce lene ke liye.https://twitter.com/IndianExpress/status/815111636037943296 …,even britney spears took more time to divorce. https://twitter.com/IndianExpress/status/815111636037943296 …
@Amit_smiling JDU ka andhkaar chalu ho chuka hai #BJPAheadMGBDead,@Amit_smiling dark days have started for jdu. #BJPAheadMGBDead
ye tumhare DP ko kya hogaya hai?,what has happened to your dp?
@BhargavPurohit Aaj Sunday tha.. Kal jata hu,@BhargavPurohit i will go tomorrow because it was sunday today.
I wish Aallaahh apko hmesha kush rkhe Salamat rkhe....love u,i wish that allah always keeps you happy and protects you. love you.
@heanew14 bhai US se mere liye le aana,@heanew14 brother bring for me also from us.
Dharak ko Dus rupye diye tune? :D Rs.600 ki baat karta hai. Thoda naha kar aajana shakal achhi lagegi shayad,you gave 10 rupees to dharak? he talks off 600 rupees. your face will maybe look good if you come after taking bath. 
only speaking in english at home wont do any good to guddu .  .  .,only speaking in english at home won't do any good to guddu .  .  .
"thanks to jesus ,  cvs ,  my mom &amp; my mary .  .  . i was able to kick this flu in 1 week !  now to make it w/out my maryjane until monday !  #struggles","thanks to jesus ,  cvs ,  my mom & my mary .  .  . i was able to kick this flu in 1 week !  now to make it without my maryjane until monday !  #struggles"
kab tak Hamare Jawan Saheed Hote Rahenge ... @rajnathsingh @PMOIndia @HMO ..... Sabak Sikhane Ka Time Ab Aa gya Hai ... Ye Dil Mange More #SurgicalStrikes,till when will our soldiers be martyred. ... @rajnathsingh @PMOIndia @HMO ..... it is time to teach a lesson ... this heart wants more #SurgicalStrikes
"just #watched dream high 2 episode 1 ,  i'll watch it tomorrow for next episode :d  .  .","just #watched dream high 2 episode 1 ,  i'll watch it tomorrow for next episode .  ."
@ivivekbansal Unhe toh pata hi nahi Bihar me kaisa jungleraj chal raha hai #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra,@ivivekbansal he does not know what kind of anarchy is present in bihar. #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra
@mishrashiv Sir.. Doobte ko tinke ka sahara.. Mujhe to relief mila kal ke jhate ke baad,@mishrashiv Sir.. what benefit is a straw to a drowning person. i felt relief when i was shaken yesterday.
achha h aaj aunty n guddu ki favourite disg nhi banayi .  (tindey) :p,it's good that aunty did not make guddu's favourite dish. (indian squash)
it is similar to .  . kuch thanda ya garam khane se agar aapke daaton mein tez jhanjhanahat hoti hai toh ussey hum 'sensitivity' kehte hain :p,it is similar to .  . it is sensitivity when you feel your teeth tingle when you eat something hot or cold. 
@_sandsurfer Arab ka kabool nahi ho raha hai kya?,@_sandsurfer Is arab's not being accepted?
"aur fir us din ,  uncleji aur guddu ko khaana naseeb nai hua :3",and on that day uncle and guddu got no food.
Nitish ji sambhal jaaye.. Nahi to.. #GoonsOfNitishKumarpic.twitter.com/1MNdhYE4AW,nitish ji beware otherwise #GoonsOfNitishKumar pic.twitter.com/1MNdhYE4AW
@ChickenBiryanii Thanks bhai biryani,@ChickenBiryanii thanks brother biryani.
@premlata_rai @LoKarDi_RT mujhe bhi yahi lagta hai,@premlata_rai @LoKarDi_RT even i feel the same way.
Congress ne kuch din kya guzare #Gujarat main... #GST ko le aaye aukaat mein. Defence Minister bhi utar aayi maidaan main. #GujaratElections2017,congress spent some days in #Gujarat and brought #GST to it's proper place . even the defence minister jumped into the field. #GujaratElections2017
Kabhi kabhi lagta hai Viru paaji witty aur funny hone ka bahut pressure le lete hain. Aur pressure me flop hone ka to unka record hai.https://twitter.com/virendersehwag/status/817731613236883457 …,sometimes it feels that viru paaji when trying to be funny and witty comes under a lot of pressure. and he flops under pressure .https://twitter.com/virendersehwag/status/817731613236883457 …
just went pass d memory lane .  .  . :p,just went pass the memory lane .  .  .
First salary se to maine udhar chukaya tha. :/,"with my first salary i first repaid my dept there.
"
"Aamir Khan: Diya maine taang GF ko match dekhne ke vaaste...
Pehle innings mein hi SA ne laga diye raaste.
#Snapdeal","aamir khan: i hanged m girlfriend for watching the match, south africa made was in the first inning itself. #Snapdeal"
ur toons touches hearts .,your toons touch the heart .
Aagaye samaj sudharakhttps://twitter.com/FreeCury/status/732617255276662784 …,here come the social reformers. https://twitter.com/FreeCury/status/732617255276662784 …
@PriyancaBajaj Akki ki nayee movie,@PriyancaBajaj akki's new movie.
@journojuno ghar ki baatein ghar mein hi rahi to accha hai beti @Trendulkar,"@journojuno If the words of the house remain at home then it is good, daughter @Trendulkar"
".@Tweetiapa pyaar bahot hai re, RT chahiye",.@Tweetiapa lots of love but want rt.
@arishri @PiuChatterjee1 @LaherSingh1 who is she ? maine toh naam nahi suna ..,@arishri @PiuChatterjee1 @LaherSingh1 who is she ? i have not even heard her name. ..
kaha hai aap bhai#salman.....#juma mubarak ho......,where are you brother #salman.....congratulations on #juma ....
"In kabhi khushi kabhi gam, amitabh bachhans ego is bigger than tanmay bhat.","In kabhi khushi kabhi gam, amitabh bachhan's ego is bigger than tanmay bhat."
"rob lowe who portrayed drew peterson ,  now takes on casey anthony prosecutor: on monday it was revealed that rob  .  .  .  http/URL","rob lowe who portrayed drew peterson ,  now takes on casey anthony as prosecutor: on monday it was revealed that rob  .  .  .  http/URL"
@witchybitchygal Aaj JD bhi Ankit Lal ho gaya @Ra_Bies,@witchybitchygal today even jd has become ankit lal. @Ra_Bies
"Sir eksaal pehle #MakeInIndia ka bataya ""tha abhi upgrade kiya Hai wid ""#GST koi rqrmnt hogi?","Sir one year back, you told about #MakeInIndia and now you have updated it with #GST. any requirements?"
Bhai ...4 <= baj gaye h ?Kaha ho aap,brother it is 4 now. Where are you?
kiske baare me bhai? @thegeniusstupid,about whom brother? @thegeniusstupid
@YearOfRat ye hota tha yahan?,@YearOfRat this used to happen here?
Caller agar khud Salman Khan hua toh? O.o O.o,what if the caller is salman khan himself?
Ham dusro sey ummeeden rakhte hain BT khud ummeeden nahi bante https://t.co/Wm4Qutmkh2,we put our hopes on others but never become hopes for others https://t.co/Wm4Qutmkh2
"Bhai #monkeybaat nhi bolege "" modi ji #MannKiBaat khte h 0 Aap bhi pidi ki trah q soch rhe h ?","brother won''t speak #monkeybaat ,modi ji #MannKiBaat says why are even you thinking like your generation ?"
India ke president ko waise bhi kaun sa kaam hota hai ?https://twitter.com/republic/status/877075519719718913 …,"anyways, what work does the president of india have ?https://twitter.com/republic/status/877075519719718913 …"
@twinitisha tum aakar vishesh tippani na do. RT karo :-|,@twinitisha no one wants you to give your unique comments. retweet.
"@abidifactor Accha , ager jeet jatey tu ap imran khan ko aasman pe bithate na . @intaffairs @Uroosa_Salman @KaleemAltafi @haniqureshi1","@abidifactor okay. if you had won, you would have raised imran khan to the sky. @intaffairs @Uroosa_Salman @KaleemAltafi @haniqureshi1"
@Retributions Is sab ke chakkar main na pado. Holiday enjoy karo. Inka toh roz ka hai,@Retributions don't get into this stuff. enjoy your holiday. they do this daily.
@SritikaDhar kya hai BAE?,@SritikaDhar what is it?
"Oops hogaya , rang-e-haath pakar liya https://t.co/bb6ehwaj8n",oops they were caught red-handed. https://t.co/bb6ehwaj8n
"@anushreekejriwa ""raha tha""  ",@anushreekejriwa was happening. 
@Daily_Basharat @nabeelafzalmkd @AnjumIqbalPTI @AleenaRajputPTI @naziarubbani Games me haar jeet hoti h But Pakistani team ki haar hi hoti,@Daily_Basharat @nabeelafzalmkd @AnjumIqbalPTI @AleenaRajputPTI @naziarubbani winning and losing is common in games but losing is the norm for pakistani team.
Abhi to party shuru huee haipic.twitter.com/7qCg4acAZm,the party has just started. pic.twitter.com/7qCg4acAZm
election se pahle 15 lac rupiya sab k a/c m mile ga .,15 lac rupees will be found in everyone's bank account before the elections.
are  .  .  .  .  . buda tu aap ka supporter h lakin ab tari koi nahi sunega,"oh, buda you are a supporter of aap but now no one will listen to you."
"Phirse chutyapa shuru kar diya isne "" aaj iski himmat nai #RightToPrivacy par debate kare """,he has again started with his nonsense. he does not have the guts to debate on #RightToPrivacy.
bj penn vs .  nick diaz replay on fueltv !  i'd pay to watch it a 2nd time !,bj penn vs nick diaz replay on fueltv !  i'd pay to watch it a second time !
guddu playing bhagat singh .  .  .  .  lol,guddu is playing bhagat singh.
"@KaminiBae  Suno gaur se Duniya walon, Aao milke @CostaCoffeeInd ke saath ek #FREEDOMASH bana lo :)","@KaminiBae Listen carefully world, let's make  #FREEDOMASH with @CostaCoffeeInd."
Ye Media ki jeet hai !! Aur India ki haar !!,this is the media's win and india's loss.
#halloweenfacts #halloween also is recognized as the 3rd biggest party day after new year's and super bowl sunday .,#halloweenfacts #halloween also is recognized as the third biggest party day after new year's and super bowl sunday .
"RaGa : Mere Liye "" Kyunki BJP waale mere Bangkok trip ki details mangte hai 0",RaGa : for me because BJP guys ask for my Bangkok trip details. 
@imcomplicated__ log khudko kha sakte hai toh possibility hai.,"@imcomplicated__ if people can eat themselves, then it is a possibility."
"@mangeshkarlata good morning , ham sabane bahut enjoy kiya , aur amitabh sir ke aawaz mein rastragan bahut achcha laga","@mangeshkarlata good morning , we all enjoyed a lot , and national anthem in amitabh sir's voice is very pleasent to hear."
"She: Baadlon mein chhup raha hai chaand kyu?
He: Dimaag mat kha sone de.
#HeSheStories","She: wht is the moon hiding in the clouds?
He: don't irritate me. let me sleep.
#HeSheStories"
Sir @narendramodi iss picture se gaane hata kar Kejriwal ko bhej do as proof of Surgical Strike pic.twitter.com/s9sYpAJ9et,sir @narendramodi remove songs from this picture and send it to kejriwal as proof of Surgical Strike pic.twitter.com/s9sYpAJ9et
@MeetUunngLee sabko ignore maar de aur profile private kar le bhai.,@MeetUunngLee ignore everyone and make your profile private.
"only 2 spots left for standard first aid with cpr c !  november 5 &amp; 6 ,  4pm-10pm in centretown .  contact centretown .  .  .  http/URL","only 2 spots left for standard first aid with cpr c !  november 5 & 6 ,  4pm-10pm in centretown .  contact centretown .  .  .  http/URL"
@friendlii_ghost bhai kuch kaam to karwa de..,@friendlii_ghost broher please get some work done..
"Bahu jab ghar aati hai tab lote ko laat maarti hai, aur uske baad zindagi bhar pati ko.","when the bride comes to her new home, she kicks the water container to enter the house and after which she kicks her husband for his whole life."
"Jo baal sar ka
Idhar jhad raha hai
Woh maul-vi ka
dus lakh kat raha hai...

Jaaneja baalon pe
fatwa ka
Ajab sa asar
Ho raha hai,,","the head hair that is falling, and a cleric's 10 lakh is being cut down. dear mandates are having a strange effect on hair."
"#Dhoni is a selfless captain 0 Fir Gambhir "" Sehwag "" Yuvraj "" N Srinivasan "" Meiyappan ... ka naam dimag me aata hai 0","#Dhoni is a selfless captain. after which Gambhir, Sehwag, Yuvraj and Srinivasan, Meiyappan ... come to mind."
@JessupDolly @vikaspgoel English ka balance khatam ho gaya hai. Shaam ko recharge karke fir chalu karenge,@JessupDolly @vikaspgoel balance for english is over. will turn it of after recharge in the evening.
Bewkoof bana rha hai koi .Salman itna free nhi hai. Jo chat krne baithey. Fake account hai yeh,someone is trying to con .Salman is not so free. that he is going to chat. this is a fake account.
@WriterIntrovert ) heard that quote ' Jinke ghar kaanch ke hote hain wo dusron pe patthar nahi maarte ' Goes well with AK,@WriterIntrovert I heard that quote that people living in glass houses should not throw stones at others. Goes well with AK
bhai ispe RT nahi milne wale tujhe  @sardesairajdeep,brother you won't get any retweets for this. @sardesairajdeep
bhai aapka koi comment nhi aaya .  .  mujhe aapke comment padne me bhi bada maja aata hai :) :d,"Brother, no comment came from you. . I also enjoy reading your comments."
hahaha ham to dono ko pakad khichte bhi the taki wo alag ho jaye. Noble soul we were.,we used to pull them apart so that they could be seperated. we are noble souls.
@kachra_peti ye koi badhai ki baat nahi hai bhai,@kachra_peti this is nothing to be congratulated about.
my xbox live ends tomorrow :( mw3 and gears3 all day !  hit me up !,my xbox live ends tomorrow. moder warfare 3 and gears of war 3 all day !  hit me up !
"@twinitisha ye dushman zamana, inn sab ko bhul ja... aa gale lag jaapic.twitter.com/L56lc4BoeV",@twinitisha forget this adverse world and come hug me. pic.twitter.com/L56lc4BoeV
Mein woh kaam karta hu jiski izazat sarkaar nahi deti.. Wo nahi jiski izazat mera zameer nahi deta.. https://twitter.com/twinitisha/status/733614304017014784 …,i do things that the government does not allow but not those that my conscience doesn't.
@Phrustated thanks bhai :),@Phrustated thanks brother.
family me saath train mein phas gaya  .  .  .  12 hrs late from delhi :(,got stuck with family in train  .  .  .  12 hrs late from delhi.
@ViIlageldiot karta hai ye jaati ka vyapaar #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,@ViIlageldiot he trades in caste related stuff. #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar
"at a live basketball fantasy draft .  .  . sort of .  i got the 7th pick .  got melo ,  monta ellis ,  iguodala and ibaka so far","at a live basketball fantasy draft, i got the 7th pick .so  got melo ,  monta ellis ,  iguodala and ibaka so far."
tussi great ho garbage bin .  .  .,you are great garbage bin.
#SurgicalStrike ka asli video saamne aa gaya haihttps://twitter.com/PapaCJ/status/783913793319428096 …,the real video for #SurgicalStrike has come live. https://twitter.com/PapaCJ/status/783913793319428096 …
guddu ke hair to sada hee niraaley rehte h .  .  .  :d,guddu's hair is always nice.
Wtf .. yeh kaisi fielding hai ... #IndvsSA,what kind of fielding is this? #IndvsSA
"@MildlyClassic Haha. Hum Baratheon ka swagat pehle hi kar chukey hai. :P

https://twitter.com/Spooferman_/status/598344987684667392 …","@MildlyClassic Haha. we have already welcomed the baratheons.

https://twitter.com/Spooferman_/status/598344987684667392 …"
"Yo Yo to Girl's dad: I want to marry ur daughter
Dad: NO
Yo: Mujhe lagta hai aapne mujhe pehchana nahi
D: Pehchan liya. Tabhi mana kiya hai","yo yo to girl's dad: i want to marry ur daughter
Dad: no
yo: i don't think you have recognised me.
d: because i have reconised you, i cannot let you marry my daughter."
Yr tum sab ko bahut takleef he bhai ki sadi. ..se. ..heiiiiinn?,you guys are troubled by your brother's wedding?
"@someUSER this sunday .  .  . revenge ,  and a game winning td for kyle williams .  we have already destroyed the last 2 teams and we'll keep rollin","@someUSER this sunday .  .  . revenge ,  and a game winning touch downs for kyle williams .  we have already destroyed the last 2 teams and we'll keep rolling."
Salman Khan Bhai im wid u wid all ur movie? Inshallah ek baar nhi ..jitne baar ho sake utni baar jaoga bajrangi bhaijaan? baaki logo bhi yehi advice doonga..,"salman khan brother i'm with you and all your movies? god willing. not just once but as many times, i will go watch bajrangi bhaijaan? will also advice others."
faraz khan dekha kitni demand thi iski .  .  . :p,"see faraz khan, he was in so much demand."
@Kya_bolte_Mama bhai tera account hai kya. Kyu fakies ko promote kar raha hai. @NasirJamshed_ @Nasir_Jamshed_,"@Kya_bolte_Mama brother, is this your account?why do you promote fakies? @NasirJamshed_ @Nasir_Jamshed_"
@Roflindian @theustraa istraa ki bhi kahun cheezein hoti hai,@Roflindian @theustraa is istraa even something?
Tum pavitra aur main pavitra paapi?,you are holy and i am a holy sinner?
shan ke paas wala billu ki yaad dila riya hai .  . p,the one near shaan is reminding me of billu.
Hum to hamesa tayaar rehte hain....bas aapki aane ki deri hoti hai.......,we are always ready but it's just that you are late.
@madan_chikna @ra_bies @rowdytalks lol baat to sahi hai. Woh alag direction mein hai. Par yadagar hai :),@madan_chikna @ra_bies @rowdytalks what you are saying is correct. that is in a different direction. but it is memorable.
"@melotus bakwaas, tumko hamesha emo poetry chahiye hota hai. Woh entertainment nahi hota.","@melotus bakwaas,you always want emotional poetry. that is not entertainment."
@Gott_Partikel baju wala ghar me nahi ghusne deta,@Gott_Partikel the neighbour does not let me enter the house.
"tum mujhe date karna chalu kar do, aisa kuch nahi hoga hamare beech.","you should start dating me, nothing like this will happen between us."
i'm going to the duke game on saturday .  haha .  duke .  what'a joke they are .,i'm going to the duke game on saturday .  haha .  duke .  what a joke they are .
@Gurmeetramrahim thankyou nd congratulations too you guru ji #DSSFoundationDay,@Gurmeetramrahim thank you and congratulations too you too master. #DSSFoundationDay
hehehe .  .  .  mai to aksar homework ghar pe bhul jati thi,i used to forget my homework at home all the time.
girls bas school mein top karti hain .  baaki saari life ladke top karte hain .  ek padhai mein top karna he sab kuch nahi hota .  hame aur kaam bhi hote hain .  . :p,girls only top the class in school . in later years boys top the class . topping in studies is not everything . we have other jobs too.
@premlata_rai ye saare log bigaad rahe hai ladkiyon ki image prem tu kuch kar,@premlata_rai these people are spoiling girl's image. prem do something.
Raato ki neend haram ho gai :(,a good night's sleep is gone
Rajesh Ko Gussa Kyu Aata Hai ??https://twitter.com/UnSubtleDesi/status/638594597812244480 …,why does rajesh get angry? https://twitter.com/UnSubtleDesi/status/638594597812244480 …
To bhai cheating kyu kiya.. Sahi raasta apnate to ye naubat nahi aatihttps://twitter.com/dna/status/623545670452903936 …,brother why did you cheat.. there would have been no problems if you had taken the proper path. https://twitter.com/dna/status/623545670452903936 …
@TheVacuumHead same here :'( logon ke bartan ghis ghis kar mere haath lohe ke hogaye hai. Let's freelance.,@TheVacuumHead same here: Washing people's dishes have made my hands iron. Let's freelance.
@Integrated_me chalo koi to hai mere saath,@Integrated_me atleast someone is with me.
@Ashishtics tou mein kounsa uspenfilm banane wala hu @Obnoxious_Ravan,@Ashishtics it's not like i am going to make a film about her @Obnoxious_Ravan
3 soman kapoor rumali roti ke saath banwa ke rakho.. aa rahe hai hum  @BollyHollyDhaba,prepare 3 soman kapoor with rumali roti because we are coming. @BollyHollyDhaba
"hahahah ""bohot saal"" likhna tha, ""saal ke end"" galti se likh diya :P","i had to write ""many years"" but i mistakenly wrote ""year's end""."
guddu control ur emotion .  .  think about contra .  .  .  sab normal ho jaiga tab .  .,guddu control your emotion .  .  think about contra .  .  .  only when everything goes back to normal .  .
"Maine tayy kar liya hai, ghar par saare products Patanjali ke hi honge. Biwi bhi, agar aaye to","i have decided, all products at home will be of patanjali. even my bride."
"@MukeshAmbaani @JioCare @reliancejio @TRAI ek saal se tower lagane ka kah rahe "" abhi tak nahi laga paye "" kahi #JIO walo ka irada ..",@MukeshAmbaani @JioCare @reliancejio @TRAI it has been one year since they have been saying that they will build a tower but they have not done anything till now. is the purpose of #JIO .
Government ka divide and rule kabhi kamyab nahi hone dege Swankar ekta jindabad ✊✊✊ #RollBackExciseOnJewellery #RollBackExcise,we will never let government's divide and rule suceed. long live goldsmith. #RollBackExciseOnJewellery #RollBackExcise
@melotus haha 25 saal ki umr ke liye kaafi akkal hai tum mein #SingleHoTum,@melotus you are quite intelligent for a 25 years old. #SingleHoTum
yahi bacha bada hoke yugpurush kehlaya,when this kid grows up he will lead the generation.
rehearsal wedding for my cuz @someUSER going on at pro bowl .  .  .  big day is tomorrow !,rehearsal wedding for my cousin @someUSER going on at pro bowl .  .  .  big day is tomorrow !
Jab #congress ke #government,when #congress #government
@Parsahiya beer peeni hai to bolo,@Parsahiya if you want to drink beer then say.
@slimswamy @PratMitt chhod aaye woh galiyaan,@slimswamy @PratMitt we left those streets.
"*Then*
B1: Bhai cigarette hai?
B2: Haan, le na.
*Now*
B1: Bhai, sun na bhai please yaar ek cigarette pila de yaar.
B2: Chal katt le","*Then*
B1: brother do you have cigarette ?
B2: Here take this.
*Now*
B1: brother, give me a cigarette please.
B2: go away."
@Nomadic_Soul_ apni DP ko gaali degi to tujhe hi padegi gaali,@Nomadic_Soul_ if you abuse your dp then you will be abused.
too late fr raising voice .  .  .  .,too late for raising voice.
"Eng khali haath aaye the "" khaali haath jaa rhe hain .. haha #INDvENG #T20 #Viru #Kohli",the english came empty handed and are now also going empty handed. #INDvENG #T20 #Viru #Kohli
RT @RpG_89 : HAHAHHA Arunachal bhi Gayi !! Kamal khila Arunachal mein :D https://t.co/Sra3yt9qap,RT @RpG_89 : HAHAHHA even arunachal pradesh has gone. lotus blooms in arunachal https://t.co/Sra3yt9qap
"delhi university confessions : yaar tujhe facts pata bhi h  ,  yaa fir aise hi andhere mein teer marta rehta h  ? ",delhi university confessions : friend do you even know the facts or do you just make random guesses?
log baate banaenge.. ki mera tumhara kuch chal raha hai. LOL,people will say that something is going on between us.
"@drpoonam Aap bade log ho, hum toh Nokia wale hai",@drpoonam we are small people while you are the big people.
after #Notebandi #Maharastra #Odhisa ke logon ko mil gaye hain 15L 0 11 march ko apko bhi mil jayega !! and Get well soon !!,after #Notebandi people from #Maharastra #Odhisa have gotten 15l. even you people will get the same on 11 march.!! get well soon !!
@sona2905 Banarsi plus Bengali bhi to hai :)),@sona2905 both banarsi and bengali.
ye ho chuka haihttps://mobile.twitter.com/TimesNow/status/888346321261699073 …,this has already happened. https://mobile.twitter.com/TimesNow/status/888346321261699073 …
AB daa villain . kub ayeee gaaa ! #PakvSA #CWC2015,AB the villain. when will he come. #PakvSA #CWC2015
Ye to bata de kis law k hisab se yashodaben ko akela chor dia tha unke pati ne? #tripletalaq ya #divorce ? jawab zarur diyo 0,according to which law was yashodaben left alone by her husband? #tripletalaq ya #divorce ? please answer.
link bhi pel deta sath me  @RowdyTalks,you could also have pasted the link. @RowdyTalks
Yo!  Jald hi ek aur session karte hai,yo! let's soon do one more session.
"smashing melons ain't my thingrt @someUSER okay ,  noel gallagher is playing in louisville on november 4th .  who's going with me ?","smashing melons is not my thing rt @someUSER okay ,  noel gallagher is playing in louisville on november 4th .  who's going with me ?"
"Gully cricket chal raha hain yaha "" ( Soniya ) Gandhi """,gully cricket is going on here. soniya gandhi
"""Sir abhi hisab nahi mila... am janta pareshan hai mahgain se.. #petrolprice #GST kuch sudhar najar nahi aa raha hai abhi to filhal...",sir this cannot be accounted. the public is fed up with the inflation. #petrolprice #GST no improvement can be seen.
"@BhayanakPuppy Issi se inspire hokar ek joke maarunga, padhna zaroor",@BhayanakPuppy inspired by this i will crack a joke. please read.
"@BabaFirki Mubarak ho, kya naam rakha hai?",@BabaFirki congratulations! what name have you kept?
"@SrBachchan sach sach batao sir, jaya aunty jhadu leke piche daudi na !","@SrBachchan tell truthfully sir, jaya aunty ran behind you with a broomstick."
@Gott_Partikel Sachin ko kyu bhejenge? Rohit Sharma talented hai,@Gott_Partikel why will sachin be sent? rohit sharma is talented.
"RT @Yamininisha30 : Rahul Gandhi to videshi jata rahana hai , is baar vacations ki baat , kuchh daal me kala hai #RahulOnLeave","RT @Yamininisha30 : rahul gandhi goes for vacations now and them , but this time talks of vacation , something is very wrong. #RahulOnLeave"
bas #Notebandi aur #GST ke name pr corporate& Vip k Bhala krne ke liye h bas,#Notebandi and #GST are for the benefit of the corporate and the vip.
Shatru ji khud ko haar chadate hue #BiharKaJaichandShatrughanpic.twitter.com/fvj8so2crz,shatru ji offering a garland to himself. #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan pic.twitter.com/fvj8so2crz
RT @KatrinaDiAishu9 : @Bhu_umi gharwali ladke bilkul cute nahi hote 🙈😂😂,RT @KatrinaDiAishu9 : @Bhu_umi homely girls are not cute.
"#NOTEBANDI AAJ SAB DALIT SAMAJDAR HAIN BAHUTLOG KO UMMED THEE BAHINJI ISS CRUSIAL STAGE ME GAREEBON KO "" KUCH PAISA BANT DENGI PER NAHI BANTA @radhacharandas #notebandi",#NOTEBANDI today every dalit is sensible and people had expected bahinji to distribute money amongst the poor but she didn't. @radhacharandas #notebandi
@oothikicha Ye bhi sahi hai.Logic.,@oothikicha this is also right. logic
@ashlesha_as tum gaana suna dena .. shaant ho jaenge,"@ashlesha_as if you sing a song, then they will become quiet."
@MeetUunngLee To asaan kya hai.. Har cheez ka oppose karo aur attention pao ? Aur bhai tere logic se to @_SandSurfer desh-drohi hua,@MeetUunngLee then what is easy oppose everything and gather attention? and going by your logic @_SandSurfer will be a traitor to the country.
Monk ki baat @ Thikse Monastery https://instagram.com/p/7F-5xSs-ed/,talk with a monk. @ Thikse Monastery https://instagram.com/p/7F-5xSs-ed/
"Kya aap chup chaap sote hai?
Ya azaan se darte hai?
Aap controversial tweet kyun nahi karte hai?","do you sleep quietly?                                                                                                                 or do you fear azaan?
why do you fear controversial tweets?"
"go and propose her dear ,, otherwise koi aur propose kar degaaa tumse pehle ,,,,,,,,,, In IITB first come and first serve waala matter hai bhaui","go and propose her dear ,, otherwise someone else will propose before you ,,,,,,,,,, In IITB it is first come and first serve."
Maam ji agar ladki abuse kare to kaha jaake report likhaye ?https://twitter.com/Manekagandhibjp/status/750294135576207360 …,Maam where to report if a girl abuses? https://twitter.com/Manekagandhibjp/status/750294135576207360 …
Jo dikhta hai wo bikta hai... No hai tauba on haryana rape.,what is seen is what is sold. no shame on haryana rape.
"Kya kha ke paida kiya the Kejriwal ne isko?
https://twitter.com/meamabhishek/status/846758356756914176 …","what did kejriwal eat to birth him?
https://twitter.com/meamabhishek/status/846758356756914176 …"
@EngineeRoholic thanks bhai :),@EngineeRoholic thanks brother.
Mera dil aur DM hamesha se khule hai.,my heart and direct message have always been open.
"@ruchikokcha @ttrinadasgupta Do ghoont mujhe bhi pila de sharabi, dekh phir hota hai kya","@ruchikokcha @ttrinadasgupta give me two sips too drunk person, then see what happens."
@huh_watnow le Singha tera patta cut.. Tujhe bhai bana liya @heisenjit,@huh_watnow see singha even your card is done for.. you have been friendzoned. @heisenjit
mera zyada achha tha.,mine was better.
"#ManmohanSingh Sardar retirement kae baad hi kyu boltae hae "" Sidhu "" MMS",#ManmohanSingh why do sardars say sidhu mms after retirement.
#Dhoni Surprise Dena Koi @msdhoni se sikhe 0,#Dhoni learn from dhoni if you want to give a surprise.@msdhoni se sikhe 0
@kitAnurag @Shakti_Shetty bhai mera reply lele bhale hi mujhe 3 second ka hi bhej de.,@kitAnurag @Shakti_Shetty brother take my reply but send me even if it is 3 seconds.
@I_yam_nendu pyaar karne wale time nahi dekhte,@I_yam_nendu lovers don't see the time.
#twitition mcfly come back to argentina but this time we want to come to mar del plata !  !  !  http/URL,#twitition mcfly come back to argentina but this time we want him to come to mar del plata !  !  !  http/URL
@IScreamPunday toh wahan par likhna bandh karo,@IScreamPunday so stop writing there.
@nanditathhakur Maam aapke follow ke liye wait kar raha hu.. Khana bhi nahi khaya,@nanditathhakur maam i am waiting for your follow. i have not even had food.
@ColSehrawat @SatyendarJain @AapKaGopalRai Samalkha red light to Kapashera border bahut jaam lagta hai please kuch kariye . Thanks,@ColSehrawat @SatyendarJain @AapKaGopalRai Samalkha red light to Kapashera border is often jam packed. please do something . thanks
avi to party suru hue hai:-d,the party has started now.
@the_queeness i know all good .. vo to main dil ka accha hun isliye pareshan nahi kar rh 😎,@the_queeness i know all good .. it's because i have a good heart that i am not irritatinig you.
"Haan, bas kar bhai.","yes, stop it brother."
SRK fans ke pass ₹ nahi hai theter jane Ko ! #Jio SIM leke din bhar #Online rehte hai #Gaytrends,shah rukh khan fans don't have the money to go to the theatre ! after getting #Jio sim they are always #Online #Gaytrends
#Trump Bhaiya to get #Rakhis from Women of Haryana Village,#Trump to get #Rakhis from Women of Haryana Village
"Things blamed for rapes in India:
- Manchurian
- Condom Ads
- Ladki ne ""bhaiyya mujhe jaane do"" nahi bola
- Santoor Mom
- Falooda","Things blamed for rapes in India:
- Manchurian
- Condom Ads
- the girl did not resist
- Santoor Mom
- Falooda"
@Thakurain_ nooo. Dilli metro mein khaana allowed nahi hai Gauresh,@Thakurain_ nooo. food is not allowed in delhi metro guresh.
Kya is jeet ki khusi me 1 saal #Jio Free hoga ??,is #Jio going to be free for another year because of this win ??
"Saalon #TripleTalaq dene ""waalon Kabhi Hum kuwaaron ki taraf ""dekho Phir jaanoge ki Tum kitne lucky ho...","people who give #TripleTalaq, look at us singles and then you will realise how lucky you are."
Haha haha. Yeh under(wear) ki baat hai.https://twitter.com/GabbbarSingh/status/743885962334343169 …,this is a matter of the underwear .https://twitter.com/GabbbarSingh/status/743885962334343169
Vai mai dur se baaat kar raha hu :'(,vai i am talking from afar.
"#IndVsPak sandar , VIRAT jit . puri team ne achha khela . cup ki or1 kadam . aise hi kadam badao , cup jit k aao . congrets TeamIndia .",#IndVsPak it was a glorious victory for team india. step closer to the cup the same way and win the cup. congrats team india.
@someUSER if you get ungrounded tomorrow go to lauren's birthday kickback,"@someUSER if you get ungrounded tomorrow, go to lauren's birthday kickback"
Bhai ap nai ayenge tab-tak natural call bhi accept nai karunga??,i won't accept even natural calls until you don't come.
Dhoni kahi gaya nahi hai. Dhoni jaise kahi jaate nahi hai. Hamare dil me rehte hai.,dhoni has not gone anywhere. people like him dont go anywhere but remain in our hearts.
"@LoKarDi_RT Theek hai, aaj se tujh par hit karna bandh",@LoKarDi_RT ok done. no hitting on you from today.
@angryoungwoman aalas aa raha hai nahi to deta jawaab @Fussy_Ca,@angryoungwoman if you were feeling lazy then you should have said @Fussy_Ca
Jail ho hi jaani hai.,going to be jailed anyway.
Premlata ko tujhse pyar hai.,premlata loves you.
yahi to scam hai...mere pichey aane cameraman khada kar rakha tha :),this is a scam. a cameraman had been placed both in front of me and back.
jin jakhmo ko waqt bhar chala hai .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  tum kyun unhe chedde jaa rahe ho .  .,"wounds that have healed with time, why are you teasing those wounds."
"Rerun: Honey Singh ke gaano pe naachna shuru karo, kripa aani shuru ho jayegi: Nirmal Baba to Radhe Maahttp://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/08/honey-singh-ke-gaano-pe-naachna-shuru-karo-kripa-aani-shuru-ho-jayegi-nirmal- …","Rerun: start dancing on honey singh songs, your life will start to bloom: Nirmal Baba to Radhe Maa http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/08/honey-singh-ke-gaano-pe-naachna-shuru-karo-kripa-aani-shuru-ho-jayegi-nirmal- …"
"Maine pi nahi hai, maine pi nahi hai https://twitter.com/RGVzoomin/status/669065486106136576 …","i did not drink, i did not drink. https://twitter.com/RGVzoomin/status/669065486106136576 …"
superlike  .  .  .  .  .  this so called izzat is a product of male chauvinistic society  .,this so called respect is a product of male chauvinistic society.
"wish you were eating @ jackie o's today ?  come to the appalachian health summit saturday for delicious jackie o's lunch ,  &amp; health workshop :)",wish you were eating @ jackie o's today ? come to the appalachian health summit saturday for delicious jackie o's lunch & health workshop.
"jumme ka din hai, chatting ki baat hai. allah bachaye mujhe, fake pages se.",it is about chatting on jumma's day. may allah save me from these fake pages.
I didnt bribe him.. Paise udhaar diye the @RanaAyyub,I didn't bribe him.. i lent him the money. @RanaAyyub
@Alllahdin @retardedwriter maar hi diya tha isne,@Alllahdin @retardedwriter he almost killed.
@DefucktiveHumor Aaj chup baithe to aise hi hamesha dabte jaenge.. Awaaz buland karo #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra,"@DefucktiveHumor if you keep silent today, then you will always be pressed upon... raise your voice.  #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra"
#jio ki Speed kaisi hai kya mujhe #JioPrime ka recharge karana chahiye ?,how is the speed of#jio? should i get the #JioPrime recharge?
Indians deserved this win .. congrats ! Pakteam tum wapas ghar awo ye tumaray bas ka kaam nahi .... #INDvPAK,indians deserved this win .. congrats ! pakistan team come back home. it is not something you are capable of .... #INDvPAK
@someUSER again it was a thurs watching nadal game and tried to type ffs .  .  .,@someUSER again it was a thursday and i was watching nadal playing and tried to type ffs .  .  .
Ab iss par bhi outrage karenge loghttps://twitter.com/emilyford1/status/744859040627437568 …,people will again get outraged by this. https://twitter.com/emilyford1/status/744859040627437568 …
"sirf ehsas hai ye, rooh se mehsoos karo,
pyar ko pyar hi rehne do, koi naam na do.
#Gulzar","it is just a feeling, try to feel it with your soul. let love remain love and don't give it any names. #Gulzar"
Bhai @abhijeetsinger ka bas chale to footpath par sone walon par train chalwa de.,brother @abhijeetsinger can let train go over people who sleep on footpath.
@Ihsirh kya tumka bataayi? Arre kaa samjhayi? Badi durghatna hai muskil bachna hai,@Ihsirh what should we tell you?what should we explain to you? it is a big danger and it is difficult to be saved.
" Sharmaji, doobti naiyya mein chadh kar chaiyya chaiyya na karo.","sharmaji, don't dance on a sinking boat."
Salman khan bolliwood ki shan banchuka back to back blockbuster superhit movi name dabbang. Redy. Bodyguard. Ek tha tiger . Dabbang2. Jai ho. Kick. Bajarangi bahizan superhit jayagi 300 fix,Salman khan is bollywood's pride with back to back blockbuster movies: dabbang. Ready. Bodyguard. Ek tha tiger . Dabbang2. Jai ho. Kick. Bajarangi bhaijaan too will be superhit 300 crore is almsot fixed.
@melotus ye sab baatein TL par na pucha karo,@melotus don't ask these things on tl.
"@iffyuva kuch hawa sard hai, dil mein bhi dard hai. Dard bedars hai, lab pe koi baat hai. Cheersss!","@iffyuva the wind is cold, the heart too has pain, pain is unrelenting, there is something i want to say. Cheersss!"
Chalo Mohit Sharma ko 10 ads guarantee ab #IndvsSA,mohit sharma is now guaranteed 10 advertisements. #IndvsSA
Ab desh ke Vikas me saath hoga Bihar #GoodByeNitishKumar,bihar will be developed together with the nation. #GoodByeNitishKumar
jesus wala punch bohot kadak hai :'),the punch that involves jesus is pretty hard.
"fluke ho jaata hai kabhi kabhi, jeete raho",fluke happens sometimes. long live.
shaan is hiding behind the bag .  :p usako pta tha k guddu ki seeeti bajane wali hai :d,shaan is hiding behind the bag. he knew that guddu's bell is going to be rung.
hey daryl !  great connecting at anti #fracking colorado .  excited to have you in next issue .  deadline is nov 15th .  @someUSER,hey daryl !  great connecting at anti #fracking colorado .  excited to have you in next issue .  deadline is november 15th .  @someUSER
@Bees_Kut ho chuka hai bhai,@Bees_Kut already done brother.
Whr R those #Haters who said end is near 4 #Dhoni .?,where are those #Haters who said end is near for #Dhoni ?
#INDvSL ab samjh me aaya bc #dhoni ko captain cool kyu kaha gya hai .. Field me v sote hai ye to ... Cool hokr,#INDvSL now i understand why #dhoni is called captain cool .. they sleep in the field but he ... is cool
@yudhajit Jab  tak hai jaan,@yudhajit till the last breath.
80 saal ki budhiya mile ise bhagwaanhttps://twitter.com/BloodyKamina/status/678930950881865728 …,may the 80 years old women meet god. https://twitter.com/BloodyKamina/status/678930950881865728 …
Messi once said to a cop utaar kar phenk do ye vardi aur pehen lo balwant rai ka patta apne gale mein. #Legend #Respect,messi once said to a cop to remove his uniform and wear balwant rai's collar on his neck. #Legend #Respect
@hotsrkfan kabhi socha hain aise bhi lag sakti hain vaat?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI&feature=youtu.be … #LagGayiVaat Shine,@hotsrkfan have you ever thought that you can be screwed this way too?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI&feature=youtu.be … #LagGayiVaat Shine
Kya Modi ji Bloodshot issue par kuch kahenge ?? ~ Liberals,is modi ji going to say something about the bloodshot issue? liberals.
iske timeline par poori khabar hai @DefucktiveHumor,all the news is on his timeline. @DefucktiveHumor
Modi ji ab kaha chale ?https://twitter.com/ndtv/status/639092541846102016 …,where is modi ji going now?https://twitter.com/ndtv/status/639092541846102016 …
"Dr. Manmohan Singh: ""Theek NAHI hai""",dr. manmohan singh: this is not fine
O madam @KirronKherBJP aapke ghar me ho rahe honge rape salon se free fund mein desh ko kyun badnam karti ho? Sharm ni ati? Maafi mango,"#
"
@aanchalator mera ek loan clear nahi ho raha hai. Bank wale locha kar rahe hain. Kuch kar do.,@aanchalator one of my loan requests is not being cleared. bank people are doing something wrong. do something.
Remote control se yad aaya aub ManMohanji kaise chal rahe hai ? aub to operate karne ki jarurat nahi hogi ..!! #RahulGandhi #ManmohanSingh,i am reminded of manmohan singh while looking at the remote. how is he doing these days? there must be no need to operate now. #RahulGandhi #ManmohanSingh
@_SandSurfer abe sahi me uske liye nahi tha @twinitisha,@_SandSurfer  it was really not for him. @twinitisha
@Insane_chorri Gustakhi maaf kardo.. Ladko se galti ho jaati haipic.twitter.com/gG7oMw263h,@Insane_chorri forgive this cheekiness.. boys make mistakes. pic.twitter.com/gG7oMw263h
@kitAnurag yeh joh halka halka suroor hai..yeh teri ankhon ka kusoor hai ki sharab peena sikha diya,"@kitAnurag this small small exhilaration, it is the fault of your eyes that i have learned how to drink alcohol."
Sirji uparwale ko muh dikhane se pehle uparwale ki degree maang lenge.. uparwala behosh..https://twitter.com/rocks450/status/739690552854089732 …,before showing god your face we will ask for his degree.. god unconscious.. https://twitter.com/rocks450/status/739690552854089732 …
Kahaan se aate hai yeh log? https://twitter.com/Reetesh777/status/885212308766576640 …,where do these people come from? https://twitter.com/Reetesh777/status/885212308766576640 …
"LOL, aisa karna sense banta toh aaj tak Sajid Khan ki doosri movie kabhi ban hi nahi paati!",if this made any sense then sajid khan could never have had a second movie.
@NayaLifafa teri mummy se pooch le.. Unko sab pata hai,@NayaLifafa ask your mom. she knows everything.
Babuji @aloknath ko janam din ki dher saari shubh kamnaayein.,heartiest congratulations to @aloknath on his birthday.
Bhai behen ka hi rishta mila tha kya ussee😡 Koi aur relation bana dete ... But ssly #Bhai -Been 😂,did he only get the relationship between brother-sister? they could have made any other relation. But seriously
@iamkits @SanikaRanade @ShraddhaKapoor yaar mazzaak na karo sahi vote karo :-/,@iamkits @SanikaRanade @ShraddhaKapoor don't joke and vote properly.
"Pehla nasha...doosra khumar, teesra pyar hai chauthe ka intezaar.","first intoxication, second addiction, third love and fourth's yearning."
RT @HarishK25173278 : @Gurmeetramrahim #JaameInsanDivas Saari Kyanat ko Aaj ke Din ki Mubarkan yo ... https://t.co/JffOjGKoey #TheIrfanism,RT @HarishK25173278 : @Gurmeetramrahim #JaameInsanDivas the whole world is congratulated on today' special occasion. https://t.co/JffOjGKoey #TheIrfanism
flying mario mast tha .  .  .  usme sab stage easily ho jati thi :p,flying mario was cool. all stages could be easily past.
gautam to phle din se hi winnr bn gya tah .  .,gautam became a winner from the day one.
Tumhe apne desh pe bharosa nahi par VISA ke time dusare desh pe bada bharosa dikhate ho ? #Aadhaar #RightToPrivacy,you don't believe your own country but you would easily believe any other country for visa. #Aadhaar #RightToPrivacy
RT @abhilash_jagtap : Happy Birthday to most talented batsman of current era Rohit @ImRo45 #HappyBirthdayHitman,RT @abhilash_jagtap : happy birthday to most talented batsman of current era rohit @ImRo45 #HappyBirthdayHitman
"Bhaisaab, Delhi ka munda to Shikhar Dhawan bhi haihttps://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/711256050842738688 …","brother, even shikhar dhawan is a delhi guy. https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/711256050842738688"
@huh_watnow dil diya hai.. Jaa bhi denge.. Ae sanam tere liye,@huh_watnow i have given my heart and i can also give my life for you my darling.
Aao behen apni selfie par apne toote dil ki daastaan par motivational bakwaas likh kar like batore.https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/885420854380642304 …,"come sister, gather likes based upon your stories about your heart breaks. https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/885420854380642304"
"@imcomplicated__ tere chehre mein woh jadoo hai, bin dor kheecha jaata hu",@imcomplicated__ your face is mystical. i am drawn towards you without any thread. https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/885420854380642304
"Zillat ki scotch se achhi, izzat ki desi hai.
#Respecthttps://twitter.com/Ra_Bies/status/814538308344684544 …",respect's cheap alcohol is better than disrespect's expensive whiskey. #Respect https://twitter.com/Ra_Bies/status/814538308344684544
"RT @shubhansh1504 : "" Issi ne tere haath pair today the na ? "" "" Yes bro "" "" Tomorrow saale ko ""","RT @shubhansh1504 : "" he broke your hands and legs? "" "" yes bro "" "" tomorrow him also """
"someone should come with me to noel fielding on saturday night because noel fielding ,  basically #please #iwillcry","someone should come with me to noel fielding's show on saturday night because noel fielding, basically #please #iwillcry"
@MeetUunngLee That's my vote too! :D Aaja aaj ya kal raat?,@MeetUunngLee that's my vote too! would you come today or tomorrow night?
Gusse me ladki ka number delete kar diya.. Whatsapp se bhi hata diya.. Ab BC uski yaad aa rahi hai..,in anger i deleted the girl's number. even removed her number from whatsapp. now i am missing her.
Aapse baat karna chahta hu bhai .bahut badi problem mae hu.aapki help chahta hu,i want to talk to you. i am in the middle of a big problem. i want your help.
West Indies ki lag gai hai.,west indies has been screwed.
Jis jis ki #girlfriend h usko #GST #Girlfriend_setting_tax dena pdega,whoever has a #girlfriend should pay #GST #Girlfriend_setting_tax. 
Sweaty kuhu pe outrage karna chhodo.. Ye dekhopic.twitter.com/K6Wta7A2pA,stop getting outraged on sweaty kuhu. look at this pic.twitter.com/K6Wta7A2pA
"@someUSER @someUSER @someUSER @someUSER good news i bought candy today ,  bringing some on tues .  if it lasts","@someUSER @someUSER @someUSER @someUSER good news i bought candy today , bringing some on tuesday . if it lasts"
itna bhi hum kuch nahi likh kar aaye  .  .  jo inko itna time lag raha hai check karne mein,we did not come after writing that much. because it is taking them so much time to check.
@friendlii_ghost srk fans ko waise bhi aur koi kam dhandha to hota nahi  @Tumharebaap,@friendlii_ghost shahrukh khan fans have no other job anyways.  @Tumharebaap
Abe troll who are you to advise police & the courts ? Tune itni gaaliya nikali hai ki tujhe toh shaant hi rehna chahiye 0 Logo ko maa-behen ki gaaliyan deta tha tu ... rape ki dhamkiya di hai tune,"who are you to advice the police and the court, you troll? you have abused so much that you should remain quiet. you have hurled lots of mom-sister abuses at others and have threatened to rape."
@retardedwriter @Dishasatra ye isne nahi likha hai,@retardedwriter @Dishasatra he has not written this.
@Insane_chorri aur WA pe likha hai 'Aamchi Mumbai'  @DefucktiveHumor @Gott_Partikel @AdrianaVecc,@Insane_chorri our mumbai is written on wa.  @DefucktiveHumor @Gott_Partikel @AdrianaVecc
avitak 4pm hua nehi kya ?,is it not 4 pm right now?
kitaabe bohot si padhi hongi tumne.. magar koi chehra kya tumne padha hai..,you must have read lots of books but have you ever read a face.
Social cost ki payment kisko bhijwani hai. Ya aap khud akar collect kar logehttps://twitter.com/BollywoodGandu/status/689394727276322818 …,who wants to send the payment for social cost. or will you collect it yourself. https://twitter.com/BollywoodGandu/status/689394727276322818
Kaun hai ye majnu? Mere pass bhejo zara isko.,who is this romeo? send him to me also.
"waah kya service h #jio ka khatwaria sarai 110016 delhi me "" ek call karne ke liye 6 th floor pe chadna padta h "" danya ho jio",what a service #jio has in khatwaria sarai delhi 110016. for even one call you have to climb to the 6th floor. bless jio
"aree bhai, utna toh samajh hi aajata hai","oh brother, that much is understandable."
@tehseenp Rahul gandhi Parliament main sone say achha ghar main so jaaun #RahulOnLeave,@tehseenp rahul gandhi: it's better to sleep at home that in the parliament. #RahulOnLeave
Ye batao 60 Saal main congress ne kya kiya,tell me what has congress done in the last 60 years.
"any script abt  "" chungi ""   .  .  . a toy made out of cycle tube cut rings","any script about  "" chungi ""   .  .  . a toy made out of cycle tube cut rings"
"Chhota Rajan Brought to delhi.
CR ko apni mitti ki khushboo pasand aayi.
CR ke daal mein namak kam. 
CR ab bada ho gaya hai. #IndianMedia","chhota rajan brought to delhi.
cr likes the smell of our soil.
cr finds his lentil curry bland.
cr has grown up now. #IndianMedia"
haha maja aa gaya me aise hi karta tha bachpan yaad aa gaya :),oh. so fun. i used to do the same things when i was a kid.
Lagta hai congress aur bhajpa dono pathbhrasht/dishabhrasht ho chuki hai . https://t.co/6fX7svq7vw,it seems like congress and bjp have gone on the wrong path.  https://t.co/6fX7svq7vw
Watching #RSMMA where @Mirchimumbai gives #music ko salaam ! aweesome host @sonunigam #staytuned,Watching #RSMMA where @Mirchimumbai offers salute to #music ! awesome host @sonunigam #staytuned
"@mojorojo In ACP Pradyumn's words: Kuch to garba hai Daya, Kuch to garba hai.","@mojorojo In acp pradyumn's words: something is garba daya, something is garba "
@Shindemanishaa One Rani Mukherjee movie. Can't rem name abhi.,@Shindemanishaa one rani mukherjee movie. i cannot remember the name now.
Angrez chale gaye.. Inhe yahi chhod gaye.. https://twitter.com/twinitisha/status/731307348745031680 …,the britishers have gone but have left these people here. https://twitter.com/twinitisha/status/731307348745031680
"Is machine ka naam #JNU hai "" ek side se Liberal Student dalo doosari side se anti-national niklega 0 Aur Iske aaka hai @padhalikha",#JNU is the name of the machine that outputs anti-nationals when input is a liberal student. and the master of the machine is @padhalikha.
@SuchAMisfit chalo ek se bhale do,@SuchAMisfit two is better than one
"Pati ki lambi umar chahiye ho toh uska khoon chusna bandh karo, larva chauth hota rahega.
#TweetLikeAmeeshaPatel","If you want your husband to have a long life, then don’t suck his blood. karva chauth will continue to happen."
sahi baat h bhai.. qki sbka malik ek,"it is correct, because there is one god."
Kaaheka Rose Day? Koi nahi deta roz roz.,whah rose day! nobody gives roses.
@Being_Humor par shishn ka hota hai.,@Being_Humor but what is shishn?
happy valentine's day !  !  !  @someUSER everyday is the 14th !,happy valentine's day! @someUSER everyday is the 14th!
Happy Mahashivratri . OM NAMAH SHIVAYA .. HAR HAR MAHADEV http://t.co/BQkEgpkhqV,happy mahashivratri. universal consciousness is one. har har mahadev.
"Garib kal bhi Carib the "" aj bhi garib hai .. #notebandi sirf corruption k khilaf thi "" jo bhut hadd tak control me aa gayi hai ..","poor people were poor yesterday also, and they are poor today also. #notebandi was only against corruption which has come under control to a large extent."
"guddu kaunsi class me hai ,  ki maths me pythagoras theorem padhaai jaa rahi hai ?  ?  ? ",which class is guddi in that he is being taught pythagoras theorem in maths?
@dentistsharma inhone kabhi baat bhi nahi ki development ki #FailedCMNitish,@dentistsharma he has never ecen talked about development #FailedCMNitish
@Kahaanify @YouDontKnowWho_ tumhe khuda ka vasta ruk jao,"@Kahaanify @YouDontKnowWho_ for god's sake, stay."
kash yaar .  .  .  .  kismat hi futi hui hai is baar,i wish. my luck is out this time.
@BUBLOO_GS Matlab aap mante hai ki bjp and congress bahut shaktishali aur gyani hai,@BUBLOO_GS this means that you belive that bjp and congress are very powerful and knowledgable.
4 bj gye bhai.... aa jao ab,"it is 4, everybody come now."
@someUSER you have a top 5 sg with 2 6th men .  and you left off monta ellis,@someUSER you have a top 5 sg with 2 6th men and you left off monta ellis.
Pakistan ko uski aukaat dekhne ka time aa gaya hai #PakistanMeinGussKarMaro #SurgicalStrike #IndianArmy #BJP,it is time to show pakistan it's status. #PakistanMeinGussKarMaro #SurgicalStrike #IndianArmy #BJP
@BetterCallSom lol.. Phir to mujhe har hafte apna handle badalna chahite,@BetterCallSom laughing out loud. then i should change my handle everyday.
RT @BigGrenade : Qandeel Baloch ne bola tha k pakistan ki team india se jeetegi toh Video degiYeh nai bola k Men ya Women Women jeeti naa …,RT @BigGrenade : Qandeel Baloch said that she would give the video if pakistani team wins against india. she did not say men or women. women have won right.
@scratchysingh zindagi abhi baaki hai @Funny_Deol @friendlii_ghost,@scratchysingh life is remaning till now @Funny_Deol @friendlii_ghost
Jaane kahan gaye woh din!https://twitter.com/muglikar_/status/902151787540393985 …,who knows where those days went! https://twitter.com/muglikar_/status/902151787540393985 …
Haha! Kyu bhai?,haha! why brother?
Nehra showed his teeth aur sarjeel bhaisaab dar gaye ! Hahah yeh dar hum Indians ko accha laga #IndvsPak #WT20,nehra showed his teeth and sarjeel got scared! Haha! us indians liked this fear. #IndvsPak #WT20
Eid kab hain? Jis din Salman ki filim release hoti hai.,when is eid? the day salman's film is released.
@narendramodi jee CA walo ko protsahit kr rahe hai ya unki class laga rahe hai...,is @narendramodi encouraging CA's or scolding them?
modiji duniya k masiha he...kafi ku6 kiya he or aage bhi karna he....,"modi is the world's messiah, he has done so much and will still continue to do so."
This is the power of #GST 0 Kabhi socha bhi tha ki sochalay bhi bill dega.,this is the power of #GST. never thought before that the toilets would also give bills.
"@clued_up_chic lol. Please use 33 crore gods' names, cus jiska koi nahi uska to khuda hai yaaro","@clued_up_chic laughing out loud. please use 33 crore gods' names because those who don't have anyone have god, friends."
Friday Faking Release: phir bhi Dil Hai Hindustani (*ing Rahul Gandhi )http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/11/friday-faking-release-phir-bhi-dil-hai-hindustani-ing-rahul-gandhi/ …,"friday faking release: still the heart is indian, starring rahul gandhi. http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/11/friday-faking-release-phir-bhi-dil-hai-hindustani-ing-rahul-gandhi/ …"
"@aanchalator bas Dhoni ko ek world cup, ek IPL aur ek Champions league trophy uthaye aur dekh lun","@aanchalator i just want to see dhoni lift one world cup, one ipl and one champions leaugue trophy once more."
yaar tu meri class me to nai tha .  .,"you were not in my class, friend."
yr ye duc ka new admin bht pakka rha hai  .  .  .  .  :/,"this duc's new admin is very boring, friend."
Kab ? Kaise ? Kahna ? #UPKeLadke ko pataa hi nahi chala @narendramodi aur @AmitShah ka #SurgicalStrike in #Elections 2017 , just like Pakistan
@Keisar_ Naacho saare G phaad ke @heisenjit,@Keisar_ Naacho everyone dance ceaselessly @heisenjit
@Sonu_ChaiPoha usse achcha Jehangirabad me hi karwa do @MaheshJagga,@Sonu_ChaiPoha get it done in jehangirabad instead of that @MaheshJagga
Its Konkani. Marathi is 2 lines below it. @TusharG aur kitne zaleel hoge aap?,it's konkani. marathi is 2 lines below it. @TusharG how much more would you be humiliated?
@amrith2good haha. Bhai _/\_,@amrith2good haha. brother
@Alllahdin @MeetUunngLee Ye bahot bada playa hai.,@Alllahdin @MeetUunngLee he is a very big player.
"Aankhon ka color bhi alag hai, lens pehna hai kya?","the color of your eyes is also different, are you wearing lenses?"
"Dekho bhai @ArvindKejriwal iske liye degree ki nahi, personality ki zaroorat hoti hai. #USCongress #NaMo","look brother @ArvindKejriwal, this thing does not require degree, but personality. #USCongress #NaMo"
@nainkatary @KajuKatli__ plural? Kitne Edwards hai tumhare? Hawww,@nainkatary @KajuKatli__ plural? how many edwards are yours?
@Keisar_ kai duniya ma jivo chho!  @friendlii_ghost,@Keisar_ kai which world are you living in!@friendlii_ghost
"Aisi na mujhe to ghoor..
Mera balma aayega zaroor..
Woh hai chaila..mein hu hoor..
He is the one and only Tharoor !!",don't stare at me like that.
Madam #YuvaDekhtaHai zara theek se dikhao.,madam #YuvaDekhtaHai show properly.
"RT @galat_fehmi : Nahaya karo , bohot soap hai .","RT @galat_fehmi : take a bath, there is a lot of soap."
@ashu048 Bhai itna dimaag IIT me lagata to aaj baat hi kuch aur hoti  @witchybitchygal,"@ashu048 brother if you had used this much brain in iit, it would have been a different story.@witchybitchygal"
"@vismayshah Parivartan k liye ho jaaiye taiyaar..
#BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar",@vismayshah get ready for the change. #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar
ben amos doing well @ hull city . another clean sheet v charlton . he says he's enjoying the challenge of playing regular 1st team f'ball .  #mufc,ben amos is doing well at hull city. another clean sheet versus charlton. he says he's enjoying the challenge of playing regular 1st team football.#mufc
@Shakti_Shetty Bahut naainsaafi hai.,@Shakti_Shetty it is not fair.
as salam alaikom :) aur intezar nai hota plz cm fast,"peace be unto you. i can't wait anymore, please come fast."
@Sunnysbluesky kuchh bhi ho sakta hai,@Sunnysbluesky anything can happen.
@yagya_deepak Bhai jitne tere sar pe baal hai.. Usse zyada to tweets hai @witchybitchygal ke.. Dekh to baat kar,"@yagya_deepak brother, @witchybitchygal has more tweets than the number of hair on your head. look and talk."
"Kis chup , Kis Tamana , Kis Darja Saadgi se , Hum aap ki Shikayat karte hein Aap he se .. #NFAK ALUAS2Ni","what silence, what wish, what rank simplicity, we complain about you to you only. #NFAK ALUAS2Ni"
"2002 se pehle ki baatein bhi yaad hai inhe.
Bajao Taali https://twitter.com/sardesairajdeep/status/703582743469256705 …","he remembers things from before 2002.
 clap. https://twitter.com/sardesairajdeep/status/703582743469256705 …"
Kyon ki Irani bhi kabhi Rani thi.,because irani was also a queen some time.
"#GuessTheSong 
Begaane hokar bhi kyu lagte apne hai","#GuessTheSong 
 even after being a stranger, why do they seem familiar."
Hame bhi mila bhai. Jo hamesha milta hai. Ek tweet format.,"we also got what we always get, a tweet format."
Petrol do rupiya kam hone se rahat nahi hogi. Kam se kam dus rupiya kam hona chahiye aur #GST ko saral kijiye. Tax bhi kam kijiye,"it would not matter if petrol decreases by 2 rupees, it should decrease atleast 10 rupees. and make #GST easier. also reduce the tax."
.@sagarikaghose behen iss topIc pe @RanaAyyub saari gaaliyan already le jaa chuki hai.. ab kya lene aayee ho yaha,"@sagarikaghose sister, @RanaAyyub has already taken all the swears on this topic, what have you come to take now."
"@ivinod28 haha, nahi yaar waise thoda choosy hu :P","@ivinod28 haha, no brother, i am a little choosy otherwise."
"@DefucktiveHumor Baate kare hazaar.. Laloo Nitish bechne chale Bihar

#NitishLaluSting","@DefucktiveHumor laloo and nitish going on to sell bihar while talking a 1000.
 
 #NitishLaluSting"
@HaatimTau Haan yahi!,@HaatimTau yes this!
bhai mere baare me kya jhooth bol diya ki itne logon ne follow kar liya: ),brother what did you lie about me that so many people followed me.
CHUBHI NA? ABHI CHUBHI NA?,it pricked right? now it pricked right?
@c_aashish ab mandap saja hi hai toh manjhi ji ne socha hum log bhi nipat lete hain.,"@c_aashish now that the pavilion had been decorated, mr. manjhi thought that we could be dealt with."
Ye to ache Din aa gaye.. par Kiske? #CAG is saying #railways food is worst Pad Rahi Hai Mehngai ki Maar Jai Ho #Modi #Sarkar #Politics #GST,"the good days have come, but whose? #CAG is saying #railways food is worst and inflation is hitting bad. Jai ho #Modi #Sarkar #Politics #GST"
"sare desh ke gaddar ek desh bhakt ko jukane mai lage hai ,  but jitega vo ho jisne janta ka dil jeeta hai ,  vo hai only namo ,  khujliwal ek desh drohi hai .  vo ek only gaddar haim","all the traitors of the country are trying to belittle a patrio but only he will win who has won the hearts of people,he is only narendra modi,kejriwal is a traitir. he is only traitor."
"Bolo Radhe maa ki...

Audience: AANKH","say radhe mother's...
 
 Audience: eye"
@_EatBurpRepeat Salmab ne tere baap ke upar gaadi chadayee hoti.  Tab bhi yehi bola ?,"@_EatBurpRepeat if salman had run his car over your dad, would you say the same?"
"#TripleTalaq agar invalid ker diye to nuqsan ladies ka hi hoga. Kyunki Triple talaq kehne ke baad ""wife wife nahin ""rehti balki rakhel hojati","if #TripleTalaq is invalidated, then the loss is for the women only because after saying triple talaq wife does not remain a wife, she becomes a mistress."
"""Hum do, humare do"" for Indrani Mukherjee is ""Hum pata nahi kitne, humare pata nahi kitne"".","""we two, ours two"" for Indrani Mukherjee is ""we nobody knows how many, ours nobody knows how many""."
anna phone kyu nahi uthaata?,why does brother not pick up the phone?
Agla number mera hi lagne wala hai #RahulHackedpic.twitter.com/kehLynIj6B,i am definiteky the next in line. #RahulHackedpic.twitter.com/kehLynIj6B
"mobile bandh hai, kya hua?","mobile is off, what happened?"
"salman sir plzzzz sir madat kro sir mai 4saal se aapka number dhoond raha hu sir plzz madat kro mere parivar ko aapki jarurat hai salman sir plzzzz sir....yeh mera no...hai ..,.7355458113","salman sir, please sir, help me sir, i have been trying to find your number for 4 years sir, please help, my family needs you salman sir, please sir. this is my number- 7355458113"
l power leke contra end karta hai .  .  . classic,"end contra after taking i power, classic"
zabardasti ka snobbish reply mila hai mujhe.,i got a snobbish reply forcefully.
English ki maa behen ho gayi Bhai :v,english's mother sister has been done brother.
kya baat hain .  .  . kya baat hain  .  .  . real life experience ka depiction etna sahi  .  .  .  .  . anko main asoo aa gaye :),"wow! wow! such accurate depiction of real life experieces, tears came into my eyes."
@7UPIndia Khud ko kar buland itnaa.. Ke Himaalay pe jaa pahunche.. aur khuda tumse puche.. Abe.. ab utrega kaise #ChatpatakaTwist,"@7UPIndia elevate yourself this much that you reach the himalays and god asks you, how you will climb down.#ChatpatakaTwist"
"Hmm .. Alag se socha to h bhai ,, but usk liy thoda sa back support strng ho to thoda sahi rhta h😁 but yha to private me no idea😁😁😁","Hmm, i have thought alnoe brother, but for that it is better to have a strong back support, but here in private, no idea."
@shubhansh1504 kaha se khoda ?,@shubhansh1504 where did you dig from?
Misbah shot. Thoda upar khelte,"misbah, shot! should have played a little high."
bura to tab lagta tha jab koi tok deta tha .  .  . itna bada ho gaya abhi bhi mummy ki godi me baithata hai :(,"it feels bad when someone points out that even after being so big, i sit in my mother's lap."
hahahhahha  .  .  .  .  .  guddu oops moment ka shikar ho gaya :d :d,"haha, guddu became the victim of an oops moment."
paas wali class se chalk aur duster laane k bahane hum to pure school ka round maar k aate the .  .  .,we used to take a round of the entire school with the excuse of bringing chalk and duster from the nearby class.
"Yehi to scam hai, twitter pe wish kar diya aur samjhe ho gaya, ye BJP desh ko pagal bana rahi hai.. Coward samne aaopic.twitter.com/79wUIpnMFl","this is the scame, they wished on twitter and thought its done, this bjp is playing the country. coward come in front pic.twitter.com/79wUIpnMFl"
@hindiplz Haan yaar. Dimag kharab kar rakha hai.,"@hindiplz yes dear, he is irritating me."
"""Petrol 3 rupya sasta hogaya hai, bahu ko jalaane kaam aayega"" - Khap Panchayat","""petrol has become 3rupees cheaper, it will be useful in burning the daughter-in-law"" - Khap Panchayat"
Gautam Gulati kyu kha raha hai?,why is gautam gulati eating?
mother to aisi hi hoti hai :* :p,mother is like this only.
"wohi hai bas, zindagi compromise hai, jo mili woh theek! @bhaiyyajispeaks","that is it, life is a compromise, what you got is okay! @bhaiyyajispeaks"
"*Delhi*
Pooja: Chal Pooja neeche dukaan se papad le aate hai 
Neha: Ruk ja main tube dress pehen leti hu aur chaar kilo make up","*Delhi*
 pooja: come pooja, lets bring papad from the store below. 
 neha:wait let me put on a tube dress and 4kg makeup."
"Tumhare liye nahi hai, tum khao bharpur carbs aur proteins.","this is not for you, you eat all the carbs and proteins."
@Marwaari Saal sahi likhni ke chakkar mein bearer katna bhool jaoge.,@Marwaari you'll forget to cut bearer in the while writing year.
Ab bas #righttoprivacy ki tarah #righttoequality laakar reservation hataa de,"now, just like #righttoprivacy, bring #righttoequality and remove reservation."
offic walo ne hr floor pe screen lagai hai .  .  . araam se kaam kro n tv dekho,office people have installed a screen on every floor. now work and watch tv.
@kitsharma Dharna mana hai. :),@kitsharma fear is forbidden.
"*Bhaisahab ye address kahan padega?*
Aage do start up dikhenge, uske aage se right le lena, uske baad 2 start up chhodke left. #Budget2016","where is this address brother?
 straight, you'll see two stratups, take a right after them, after the leave two startups and look at left. #Budget2016"
RT @Hindi_Liverpool : O tujhe dekhte hi dil mein dhan te nan hogaya Main tera haaye re jabra Hoye re jabra fan ho gaya !! #Klopp #BossTha ht,"RT @Hindi_Liverpool: a bell rang in my heart after looking at you, as soon as I looked at you, 1 became your biggest fan! #Klopp #BossTha ht"
"Ye aaj kal ke 24-25 saal ki ladkiyan, kya bataayein ab. Gazab pervert hoti hai ye.",these 24-25 years girls are extremely pervert. what do i say!
.@JabongIndia aaj tak to prize diya nahi??,@JabongIndia haven't given a prize till today.
"#GST is distant cousin of @SunielVShetty: main tumhe samajh aa jaun aisa ho nahin ""sakta aur tum mujhe samajh jao aisa main hone nahin dunga","#GST is distant cousin of @SunielVShetty: i am understood by you, this is not possible, and you understand me, i will not let this happen."
Hahahahaha! Maine nahi dekhi kyunki mauka hi nahi diya gaya aam janata ko shayad ye attyachar sehne ka.,haha! i haven't seen because the common people were not given the opportunity to handle this torture.
"@KShisodia please ya, pyar dekho","@KShisodia please, watch love."
"Ye creative log nahi hote to saala fab india, khaadi, aur kolhapuri chappal ka dhandha kaise chalta?","if not for these creative people, how would fab india, khaadi, and kolhapuri chappal's business run?"
"Cong ' s Mallikarjun Kharge in LS : #Surgicalstrikes ka credit lene ki zaroorat nahi hai ; Sirf aap ( PM ) nahi "" pura desh Army ke saath hai","congress' mallikarjun kharge in ls: you should not take the credit of #Surgicalstrikes. Not only you(pm), the entire nation is with the army."
"Yes big bro, Junior ko bhi milkar time hogaya","yes big brother, it has been time since met junior."
@irahulchitti Bus samaan pack kar k ghar janey ka time aa gaya hai Nitish jee  #GoodByeNitishKumar,@irahulchitti it is time to pack your bags and go home.#GoodByeNitishKumar
koi link bhej de?,should i send some link?
@GaurangBhardwa1 bhai tu hi hai ab rakhwala,@GaurangBhardwa1 you only are gaudian now.
aur aur koi teacher puche ki bahar kyu ghoom rahe ho toh authority se bata pate thee ki chalk ke liye bahar bheeja hain :d 3:),"and if any tecaher asks ehy we were roaming around outside, we could answer with authority that we have been sent outside for chalk."
@HDFCLIFE Yeh Mohit Sharma ko bowl karne do aur 3-1 banao . Don't forget to thank Ishant Sharma for his sacrifice :) #MyTeamMyPride,@HDFCLIFE let this mohit sharma bowl and make 3-1. don't forget to thank ishant sharma for his sacrifice. #MyTeamMyPride
Kal #IndvsPak kitne baj ese hai ... koi to bata do ...,"when does #IndvsPak start tomorrow, somebody tell atleast."
"Hum to tamboo mein bamboo lagaye baithe..'
~ Amithabh Bachchan in Mard, 1985
~ Sonam Kapoor at Cannes, 2016","we inserted bamboo in tamboo ~ Amithabh Bachchan in Mard, 1985
 ~ Sonam Kapoor at Cannes, 2016"
"I only eat fafda on Uttrayan. Abhi to sev usal, chorafali, khaman etc se chal jaata hai ","i only eat fafda on uttrayan. now sev usal, chorafali, khaman etc. also work."
"@jdshastri26 fight barabar wale karte hain, meri itni aukat nahi hai. koi chhota mota hota to chal jata :D @RoflGandhi_ @gauravcsawant","@jdshastri26 fight is between equals, i don’t have that much status. someone smaller would do. @RoflGandhi_ @gauravcsawant"
"Women can crib on things like bhaiyya ye shakkar bahot zyada meethi hai, koi aur quality dikhao.","women can crib on things like brother this sugar is very sweet, show some other quality."
@Astha_Bhardwaj apne jaanleva hote hai ..,@Astha_Bhardwaj family is dangerous.
"Ek ladki, anek nakhre.","one girl, many tantrums."
modi  .  a dangerous dimak jo india ko khokla kr dega  .  .  :-p,"modi, a dangerous termite that will make india hollow."
" "" bheekh maang ke ""  was killer .  lol :p","""on begging""was killer. Laughing out loud"
@hitennarendra haha.. Saari daru paseene me nikal gayee,"@hitennarendra haha, i sweat out the entire alcohol."
bhai english ki coaching kaha deta h  .  .  ?  ?  gym me  .  .  :-p,"brother, where to you give english coaching, in the gym?"
Aur unse bhi bewakoof wo log hai to apne bio me #WithRG likhte hai.. Saalo sharam nahi aati kya tumko  https://twitter.com/niruti/status/652388127424647168 …,and dumber than them are those people who write #WithRG in their bio. don't you have any shame?https://twitter.com/niruti/status/652388127424647168 …
@MildlyClassic Ha ha ha kahan kahan se dhundh nikale bhai : ),@MildlyClassic haha where did you find this brother?
"to confesser , brace ur self , cheat on bf , sleep with matka comments are coming","to confesser, brace yourself, cheat on boyfriend, sleep with matka comments are coming."
"And jo tumhe achcha rapper boltay hain,
Who lie kartay hain https://twitter.com/onlybabasehgal/status/697280613586333697 …","those who call you a good rapper,
 lie https://twitter.com/onlybabasehgal/status/697280613586333697 …"
"Dard bill'on ke kam ho jaate, main aur tum agar dutch kar paate.","pain of billions would hev reduced, if we could do the dutch."
#PVSindhu kya badhiya badminton khelti hai !,#PVSindhu how good-a-badminton plays!
"Pakistan main phenk do crackers "" diwali bhi ho jayegi aur hamla bhi #crackersban #diwali #pakistan #india","throw crackers in pakistan, diwali will also happen along with the attack. #crackersban #diwali #pakistan #india"
he is cute .  .  <3,he is cute.
ye beti laam kya karti hai ? @GanduNews,what work does she do? @GanduNews
"RT @Sarcusstic : "" Super Nirma se saare daag chale jaayenge aur mummy ko pata bhi nahi chalega . "" "" Kyu nahi pata chalega ? "" "" Unki 10saal pehle","RT @Sarcusstic : ""all the stains would go usingsuper nirma and mom wouldn't even know."" ""why wouldn't she know?"" ""her 10 years ago"
@IamAbhishek17 mujhe bhi bada dard hota hai... #emo,@IamAbhishek17 i also get a lot of pain. #emo
"bola hai admin  ,  aankhe kholo duites  ,  know the all facts","admin said, open your eyes duites, know all the facts."
"Cricket News : Dunedin : World Cup Kay Match Main Sri Lanka Nay Afghanistan Ko 4 Wickets Say Hara Diya , Mahela Jayawardene Nay 100 Runs Banaye",cricket news : dunedin : sri lanka defeated afghanistan by 4 wickets in the world cup match. mahela jayawardene scored 100 runs.
Akele kar le bhai koi kyu chahiye?,do it alone. why so you need anyone else?
@nickhunterr bhai bas kar RTs,"@nickhunterr brother, stop with theretweets."
Good one recvd on #whatsapp Na Ishq Mein Hai Na Pyaar Mein Hai Jo Maza Pakistan Ki Haar Mein Hai #IndvsPak http://t.co/RlOL5QMFol,good one received on #whatsapp- the satisfaction that is there in pakistan's loss is not in love. #IndvsPak http://t.co/RlOL5QMFol
@TheVikasKhanna Aap bahut yaad aarahe ho Vikas ji .. I love you very much Vikas ji ..,@TheVikasKhanna you are being remembered a loth vikas. i love you very much vikas.
v . true yt vry annoyn :/ bchpan ka dhoka yad agya :(,very true yet very annoying. i remembered childhood betrayal.
"@narendramodi Rape ke liye kanoon banwaiye ""sir choti choti bachhiyon ko maar dete hain- kitna dukh hota hai. @mlkhattar","@narendramodi make a law for rapes, sir, small girls are killed, it's very sad. @mlkhattar"
i got dumped after 6 years  .  feel like shit  .  really on the verge of being suicidal  .  anyone got any suggestions  ?,"i got dumped after 6 years, i feel very bad, really on the verge of being suicidal.does anyone have any suggestions?"
KYAA AAP BHI FREE MOBILE YA DTH YA LAPTOP CHAHTE HAI PAHLE ISSE DEKHE ????????????? #JIO,do you also want free mobile or dth or laptop? please watch this. #JIO
@akshayameta6 usse achha hai ye.  @imamasiddique @sagarcasm,@akshayameta6 this is better than that.@imamasiddique @sagarcasm
@aniket51082 bade dukh mein hain ye bechare,@aniket51082 they are vey sad.
Tumhare paapon ka ghada bhar chuka tha Australia. Tumhara sarvanash nischit tha.,"your jar of sins is full, australia. your destruction is inevitable."
"@Ra_Bies please pichhle mahine ki udhaar chukta kar di, ab kuch nahi bache :'(","@Ra_Bies please settle last month's expenses, now nothing is left."
nacho sab .  . g phaad k,dancce everybody ceaselessly.
@abhitweetsabhi Bhai ne acting bahot kam ki hai bhaiq,@abhitweetsabhi brother has done very little acting.
"@someUSER @someUSER @someUSER keep yr eyes open for incursion .  it may not be spartacus ,  but it's going to be out of this world :-)","@someUSER @someUSER @someUSER keep your eyes open for incursion. it may not be spartacus, but it's going to be out of this world."
Bhai 4.10 hua jaldi aao na,"brother it is 4.10, come fast."
"Ashutosh while crying: Yeh kaisi gandi rajniti hai, Sisodia ka naam liya ja raha hai, K Vishwas par ungli uthayi ja rahi hai","ashutosh while crying: how bad politics is this! he is continually taking sisodia's name, blaming k vishwas."
"Pootna Didi @akshaykanitkar ko apni jayadaad se bedakhal kar do 

@raggedtag @lady_gabbar @HathwalaThakur","pootna sister, evict @akshaykanitkar from your property. 
 
 @raggedtag @lady_gabbar @HathwalaThakur"
@perky_girl16 ab bakwaas zyada ho rahi hai padhai karo,"@perky_girl16 now it is too much rubbish, study."
"@Ra_Bies Sir, charan sparsh karne ka saubhagya de ","@Ra_Bies sir, give me the opportunity to touch your feet."
mera dam nikal na jaye .  .  .,i should not gasp out.
@witchybitchygal Ye sab aapke karmo ka hi phal hai,@witchybitchygal this is the fruit of your actions only.
#DonaldTrump ko bhi tou pata chaLai #Faizabad ki Language Ka #English version #Trump ki Siri :P,#DonaldTrump should also get to know about #Faizabad language #English version #Trump Siri.
"income base pr quota  ?  ?  ?  ?  i thnk quota systm to hona hi ni chaiye  ,  students ko unki abilities ke base pr admission milna chaiye","quota based on income? i thnk quota system should not be there, students should get admission based on their abilities."
@scaryhairyman lol maine kal kiya aur aaj repeat kiya,"@scaryhairyman laughing out loud, i did it yesterday and repeated today."
@KaminiBae @PAYBACKIndia bachcho ko technology se door rakhne ka #PointKyaHai Point Kya Hai,@KaminiBae @PAYBACKIndia what is the point of keeping kids away from technology? #PointKyaHai
"Smith out ho gaya, ab Dhoni aayega. ","smith is out, now dhoni will come."
Dawa aur daru dono saath main lene chahiye kya?,both medicine and alcohol should be taken together.
"back to normal routine , dala chawal roti for BediJi #BJP #AAPSweep #DelhiDecides","back to normal routine, dal rice roti for BediJi #BJP #AAPSweep #DelhiDecides"
@YearOfRat raat mein 2 baje ye kaise aa jata hai tumko?,@YearOfRat how does this come to you at 2 in the night?
@PushprajZala thanks bhai :),@PushprajZala thanks brother.
hahahaha  ye @LoKarDi_RT  phenol pikar nahi marne wali. Itni aasani se nahi jaanewali hai ye. Kisi ko lekar dubegi,"haha, this @LoKarDi_RT is not going to die drinking phenol. she is not going to go easliy. she'll drown with someone."
Dekh le @JhaSanjay ye izzat hai tere maalik kipic.twitter.com/jGFS9C3oVo,"look @JhaSanjay, this is the respect of your boss. pic.twitter.com/jGFS9C3oVo"
#Pathankot ke baad agar #surgicalstrike hoti to kya #UriAttack me mere 19 pariwar tabaah hote ? @BJP 4 UP ko election jeetna tha ? Jawab . twitter . com / JYJPMrWZrc,"if #surgicalstrike had happened after #Pathankot, would my 19 families be destroyed in #UriAttack? @BJP wanted to win up election? answer. twitter.com/JYJPMrWZrc"
"Avi ku good night, maja abvi baki hai!!#sunati","why good night now, the fun is remaining now! #sunati"
Be someone's 'bhai koi nayee porn hai to de de',be someone's 'give me if you have some new porn brother'
AAJ virat bc asnushka jo pk me pakistani guy ko date krti h na uska badla le rha h ... :D #IndvsPak,today virat is taking revenge of anushka dating pakistani guyin pk #IndvsPak
"RT @InternetHinduz : "" Sonia ji aap corruption karo , hum aapke saath hain "" @INCIndia workers #SoniaRahulHazirHo https://t.co/o4eO3FeX4g","RT @InternetHinduz : sonia mam, you do corruption, we are with you. @INCIndia workers #SoniaRahulHazirHo https://t.co/o4eO3FeX4g"
kaash ye baat sach hotihttps://twitter.com/runjhunmehrotra/status/677910270522560512 …,i wish this was true https://twitter.com/runjhunmehrotra/status/677910270522560512 …
"yaar koi tujhe Pakistani bole daadhi ke liye, tab kya?","if someone calls you a pakistani for your beard, what then?"
"Tu chahiye tu chahiye shaam o subah tu chahiye.

Tu: I need some space ya!",i want you all day from morning to evening.
@I_yam_nendu pata hai mujhe.. Bohot ladkiyo ke dil toote hai  @doubtinggaurav,"@I_yam_nendu i know, many girls' hearts have been broken. @doubtinggaurav"
@twinitisha tweet mujhe hi aaya na? Isiliye maine meri baat rakhi.,@twinitisha i got the tweet right? that is why i put forward my opinion.
@BUnlimted tujhe SRK warriror ki kasam aisa mat bol,"@BUnlimted swear on srk warrior, don’t say like this."
oooo !  grandfather bas ab nahi kitna natak karoge,"oh! It's enough now grandfather, how much drama!"
.@retardedwriter ban gaya patta,@retardedwriter he became a leash.
@kitAnurag @Riteishd @ArshadWarsi Deepak Tijori ko bhi daal do iss mein. Ek time par tha banda!,@kitAnurag @Riteishd @ArshadWarsi add deepak tijori also in this. once he was man!
i have tkts to see plan b next feb- he has already announced his support acts- labrinth and rudimental !  !  !  ! this news has made me tres happy,"i have tickets to see plan b next february, he has already announced his support acts- labrinth and rudimental! this news has made me tres happy."
dilhi walo kajriwal ji k 'sab kuch free' slogan k piche mat bhago .,"delhiites, don't run after kejriwal's ""everything free"" slogan."
"Kejri: Lekin hum kaise maanen ki tum sachche AAPtard ho
AAPtard: General Bakshi Murdabad,Pakistan Zindabad
Kejri: Bas kar pagle rulayega kya","kejri: but how do i accept that you are a true aaptard.
 aaptard: death to general bakshi, long live pakistan.
 kejri: stop, will you make me cry!"
dharti pe vinashkaari tatv hai ye .  .  .  ban all udbilao before worldcups,"these are dangerous things in the world, ban all udbilao before worldcups."
tym ho gya 4pm ho gaye where ru???,"time is 4pm, where are you?"
Dhara Bibaranee on Twitter by Sanjaya ~ Sambit Bhai 0,dhara bibaranee on twitter by sanjaya ~ sambit brother
guddu ki biwi nahi thi to prestige kaha se rahega bhai .  .,"guddu's wif was not there, where the prestige would brother!"
Ye to bakloli karne me Digvijay aur Rahul se bhi aage nikal Gaya ! Sibbal Saab esi baatein krne se votes nahi milte...jate hain #tripletalaq,"he has even surpassed digvijay and rahul in doing stupidity! sibbal sir, you don't get votes by this, you lose them. #tripletalaq"
@c_aashish Qatl ek karo ya chaar saza toh same hi hai,"@c_aashish commit four murders or one, the punishment is the same."
"Arre waise nahi bol raha hu, magar haan dekhunga zaroor!","i am not saying this in that way, but yes i will definitely watch it."
Mumbra aur tumhara thikaana nazdeek nahi hai Disha. Phew,mumbra and your place are not close disha. phew!
"@aditi_tyagi @praveenpandram @LambaAlka @ZeeNews aapne Saturday ko gadi road par nahi chalai , without jam road , 90 min Ka safar 40 min la","@aditi_tyagi @praveenpandram @LambaAlka @ZeeNews you did not drive the car on the road on saturday, without any road jam, a 90 minute journey was covered in 40 minutes."
Jo uthana nahi jaante unhe nuksaan uthana padta hai.,those who don't know how to stand up have to face the loss.
@ek_samosa_dena @friendlii_ghost @zoomphatak yaar ladkiyan ye sab padhengi toh kya sochengi tumhare baare mein. Main chala. :-D,@ek_samosa_dena @friendlii_ghost @zoomphatak what the girls will think of you when they read all this. i am going.
tum logon ko main hi mila?,you people found me only?
Basss ... tum toh desdroh ke aaropiyo ke saath khade the #JNU me aur bolte the ki court decide karega .. ab kya hua #doublestandards,"enough, you were standing beside treason accused people in #JNU and used to say that the courts will decide, what happened now!"
"asach aahe ki, nako mal muli... durun dongar saazre.","the thing is, i don’t like women, they are better from far."
AAPtards ke 15 lakh nahi allot hue Budget me.. Aww.. Ab chaati peet peet ke ro saalo,"aaptards' 15 lac rupees have not been allotted in the budget, aww, now cry badly."
"Shaadi karte waqt ladki walon se dahej chahiye, aur uske baad apni rob bhi jhaadni hai, baad mein woh ghar bhi sambhale?

Naukar rakh lo na?","while getting married you also want dowry from the girl's family, after that you wabt to assert your importance, and after that she should maintain the house!
 
 you should keep a servant!"
wahan india jeet rhi hai .  :v :p,india is winning there.
@doubtinggaurav aee @Atheist_Krishna hugga ki photo daal de ab ,)
.@iPoonampandey Pls aur dikhao naa,@iPoonampandey please show more.
kaafi dino baad nazar aaya udbulaao .  .  . lgta h south africa jake aaya h #badlapur_aka_layak :p,"i saw you after a long time udbulaao, seems like you have cme from south africa #badlapur_aka_layak"
@MyHyness @TajMahal Wah Taj boliye,"@MyHyness @TajMahal say ""wow taj"""
mughe bhi ab tak 6000 rs se jyada ka bal .  mil chuka hai .,i have also got a balance of 6000 rupees till now.
"Mard hai, bhai. Sakti bigad jaati hai kabhi kabhi https://twitter.com/VishakhaJ18/status/741754868738711552 …","he is a man, brother. the power is disturbed sometimes. https://twitter.com/VishakhaJ18/status/741754868738711552 …"
"kya gaana yaad dila diya! Khudgarz! Epic shit.
Aapke aajane se bhi epic gaana tha!  @YouTube","what song you made me remember! khudgarz! epic.
 the song was more epic that you coming!@YouTube"
"Salman Khan: mar jayenge par jhooth nahi bolenge
Judge: us din gaadi kaun chala raha tha?
Salman Khan: Shahrukh Khan",salman khan: i'll die but i'll never lie. judge: who was driving the car that day? salman khan: shahrukh khan
"me .  tv laptop and phone ,  sab hai samne :d :p","me, tv, laptop, and phone, everything is in front."
"@anumuae LOL , Pehle tum log tumhari Kom walo ko samjhao ki Atankwadi banna choad de",@anumuae launghing out loud. First you people explain your community to stop becoming terrorists.
Pakistan ki toh aadat hai Poonch(e) se war karna.,it is pakistan's habit to attack from behind.
@FARHAN11944367 @drpoonam itni padhai kyu karte ho bhai?,@FARHAN11944367 @drpoonam why do you study so much brother?
Salutations to Maharudh . Devon ka Dev Mahadev #MahaShivratri,salutations to maharudh. god of gods mahadev #MahaShivratri
Congratulations Pakistani Women Team ! 50% kaam hogaya aur ab bas 50% rehta hai . 😂 #IndvsPak #PAK #GirlsInGreen,congratulations pakistani women team! 50% work is completed and now only 50% is remaining. #IndvsPak #PAK #GirlsInGreen
@AdvancedMaushi yaha bhi kuware reh gaye hum,@AdvancedMaushi i am left unmarried here also.
itne sare bacho me kiski sakle yad rkh pate h teacher .  :-p,"among so many students, whose faces are the teachers able to remember."
"@SuzaneNayak raat mein itni agreji na bola karo please, samajh nahi aata.","@SuzaneNayak don't speak this much english at night, i am not able to understand."
@iMademoiselle arre yaar. Hindi achhi Hi hai,"@iMademoiselle hey buddy, hindi is good only."
@Kaminapun bhai yaar 20 saal piche le gaya tu. Wo laal coat. Wo baal films. What a childhood we all had. 1 rupya bhi kitna jyada lagta tha,"@Kaminapun brother you took me 20 years back, that red coat, that baal films. what a childhood we all had! even 1 rupee felt like a lot."
itihas apne ko dohrata hai .  .  .,history repeats itself.
Laila bechaari kya karti najariya majnu se lad gayi?,"what would laila have done, she caught eyes with majnu."
Idoit...salman aap muslim hai...Aisa faission show kyon karwaya..allah likkar,"idiot, salman you are a muslim. why do you show this kind of fashion."
Bhai @ImRo45 kisne bola tha hero banne ke liye. Kabhi match ki seriousness bhi dekh liya kar !!,brother @ImRo45 who told you to become a hero! at least look at the seriousness of the match some time!
"50 din ho gaye sir, ek do ATM to chalu kar do @narendramodi ","it has been 50 days sir, open atleast one or two atm's. @narendramodi"
main uske baad bhi akele hi jaunga bhai (^o^) @AAnjel92,i'll go alone even after that brother @AAnjel92
"Kal #TripleTalaq pe jo saara credit le rahe the "" aaj #RightToPrivacy pe apna muh kaala karaoge ?","yesterday, the credit you were taking for #TripleTalaq, today do you wish to hide your face on #RightToPrivacy?"
"Hamein aur jeene ki khwahish hoti, agar tum na hote.","i would have wanted to live more, if not for you."
#gst ke Karan mehnge hue saman ka list dekhna ho to @ndtv dekhe aur saste saman ke liye @ZeeNews dekhe..... @ahmedpatel @OfficeOfRG,"if you wish to see the list of items that have become expensive because of #gst, watch @ndtv, and for those that have become cheaper @ZeeNews @ahmedpatel @OfficeOfRG"
"Chandigarh vich maare gedi yaar tera ,Jivve india de vich ghumda Obama.",i drive my car around chandigarh just like obama roams around in india.
@MrsGandhi @ExSecular @sanjaynirupam @OfficeOfRG Pappul Gandhi ko khush karne ki chakkar me pagala gaya hai ! Public murakh samaj rakha hai ?,@MrsGandhi @ExSecular @sanjaynirupam @OfficeOfRG pappul has gone mad trying to make gandhi happy! have you taken public to be dumb?
@ArvindKejriwal tu paisa paisa karti hai.. Kyu paise pe tu marti hai..,"@ArvindKejriwal you keep talking about money, why are you so desperate about money?"
"Thappad se dar nahi lagta saab, Mumbai police se lagta hai. #PossibleDabangg3Dialogue","i am not afraid of slap sir, i am afraid of mumbai police. #PossibleDabangg3Dialogue"
bt apne 3:30 kaha tha :(,but you said 3:30.
Pehle hi world cup jeet liya .... Holi hai󾌱 https://t.co/KR9XsN8L6C,"already won the world cup, it's holi https://t.co/KR9XsN8L6C"
@7UPIndia Itne gaddhe hai yaha.. Mumbai ki road yaad aa gayee #ChatpatakaTwist,"@7UPIndia so many donkeys here, it reminded me of mumbai roads. #ChatpatakaTwist"
Bhai tu bhai nahi hai bhai ka?,brother are you not brother's brother.
Tum.ek baar gaur se iski aankho mein dekhna.,you look into his eyes closely once.
mario ki shaadi karane me kitna maja aata thaa .  .  .  .,how fun it is to get mario married!
@BabaBakChod Then pls apne kaam se kaam rakho. Thanks @drmalvika6 @witchybitchygal,"@BabaBakChod then please, mind your own business. thanks @drmalvika6 @witchybitchygal"
ee toh lolwa ho gaya .  . :d :p,laughing out loud
Indians have Aadhaar cards. Bangladesh have Jamadaar cards #INDvsBAN,"indians have aadhaar cards, bangladeshis have jamadaar cards. #INDvsBAN"
Sab christmas ka khel hai babu bhaiyya.,everything is a play of luck babu brother.
""" @mohituraina : Om Namah Shivay "" Har har Mahadev . Happy MahaShivratri @mohituraina @Roymouni @BSonarika","@mohituraina : o salutations to the auspicious one, everyone is lord shiva. happy mahashivratri @mohituraina @Roymouni @BSonarika"
"RT @Ime_n_mySalman : The way pak players are playing .. all i wudsay is "" Kabhi kabhi chillar bhi kaam ke hote hai "" 😂 #IndvsPak #wt20","RT @Ime_n_mySalman : the way pakistani players are playing, all i would say is thhat sometimes change is also useful. #IndvsPak #wt20"
Parliament ke day session me kai mantri log sote rehte hai ...to abhi kitne manti so rahe honge ..??,"many ministers keep sleeping in parliament's day session, how many ministers would be sleeping right now?"
haha! Main abhi utha hu,haha! i just woke up.
"Teri maa ka, uski maa ka, sabki maa ka.... Phone aaya.","your mother's, his mother's, everyone's mother's call came."
"Aaj toh hai Sunday , bohat karenge rest_____________________ https://t.co/0yrOgHlMQu","today is Sunday, we will rest a lot. https://t.co/0yrOgHlMQu"
Manmohan Singh ek aur scam UPA -2 @OfficeOfRG @ManishTewari @JM _ Scindia @sanjaynirupam #scammers #CongressScams #Manmohansingh @TimesNow,manmohan singh one more scame in upa-2 @OfficeOfRG @ManishTewari @JM _ Scindia @sanjaynirupam #scammers #CongressScams #Manmohansingh @TimesNow
shubh raatri dd channel rocks  !,"good night, dd channel rocks!"
eid mubarak love u salman_x0008_,"happy eid, love you salman."
tomorrow .  .  .  i'm on the air live at 9:05 on wjct radio .  then on tv taping for good morning jacksonville at 10:30 .  #excitingtimes,"tomorrow, i'll be on the air live at 9:05 on wjct radio, then on tv taping for good morning jacksonville at 10:30. #excitingtimes"
@bhaiyyajispeaks Waaah yaar.. ye huee na baat #JoinHands4Sameer,"@bhaiyyajispeaks wow dear, this is the thing #JoinHands4Sameer"
"@madan_chikna nahi bhai, tum itihas ka hissa ho gaye ho :) @ra_bies @rowdytalks","@madan_chikna no brother, you are a part of history. @ra_bies @rowdytalks"
Bhai @ArvindKejriwal tumne party to sambhal nahi rahi.. Dilli kya khaak sambhaloge.. Hatt BC,"brother @ArvindKejriwal you are not even able to handle the party, how would you hndle delhi! go bc."
@Atheist_Krishna ye haal kar doonga tera zyada bola to @miss_cherished @GaurangBhardwa1pic.twitter.com/u7fQ0ZgwNN,@Atheist_Krishna i'll put you in this condition if you say too much.@miss_cherished @GaurangBhardwa1pic.twitter.com/u7fQ0ZgwNN
.@bhairavigoswami tumhare credit card ka bill bhi modi ji aakar bharenge ?,@bhairavigoswami will mr modi come and pay your credit card bill also?
"Salman ji , aap ko haleem pasand hai?","salman, do you like haleem?"
@AccioBae bika hua maal wapas nahi hoga,@AccioBae sold goods would not be returned.
"He: Aaj kal tere mere pyar ke charche har zuban par, sabko malum hai aur sabko khabar hogayi
She: Toh kya?
He: Mere baaki settings bandh </3","he: nowadays, your and my love stories are one everybody's lips, everybody knows and everybody heard the news.
 she: so what?
 he: my other settings closed."
@Madan_Chikna kya madan bhai tumne shaadi me to bulaya hi nahi..,"@Madan_Chikna what is this madan brother, you didn't even call me to your wedding!"
"Kuch log tumhari gaadi tod rahe hain.
Met guy: Tornado.",some people are breaking your car.
@Dishasatra aha @ROFLaaLa Sunday ke liye kaunsi daru padi hai?,@Dishasatra aha @ROFLaaLa which alcohol is present for sunday?
"India aur Pakistan ki Women team ko bahut-bahut badhaiyan , Umeed hai dono teams accha match khelegain . #IndvsPak",many congratulations to india and pakistan women team. i hope both teams will play a good match. #IndvsPak
@iKunaal Thanks Kunaal Bhai.. Ye sab mere dost hai @sagarcasm @Atheist_Krishna @akshaykanitkar @Ojasism @Madan_Chikna @Jal_Kukdi @Juuism,"@iKunaal thanks kunaal brother, all these are my friends @sagarcasm @Atheist_Krishna @akshaykanitkar @Ojasism @Madan_Chikna @Jal_Kukdi @Juuism"
@Fussy_Ca ye huee na sachche dost jaise baat.. Hahaha,@Fussy_Ca this is a true friend thing. Haha
pilau tujhe paani .  .,should I make you drink water?
"@Mian_Talha_16 @FBkaBaap location ka to pta nahi , per FAMOUS bht he wo","@Mian_Talha_16 @FBkaBaap i don't know about the location, but that is very famous."
acting ka baap hai ye .  .  jhut bolne or acting krne me sabse aage :),"he is the father of acting, at the forfront of lying and acting."
@kanzy_ka nagpur pr average score 160-170 hai .. khaan se accha hai ..,"@kanzy_ka nagpur's average score is 160-170, how is it good!"
"People trending poonam pandey on twitter , tum log mar kyun nahin jaate ????","people trending poonam pandey on twitter, why don't you people die?"
@Miss_Woww bhav kha liye,@Miss_Woww asserted your importance.
"Ye aapne twitter ka #KatuSatya bayaan kiya hai, chaadar mein lapetkar patthar maara hai muh par ","you have testified for twitter's #KatuSatya, you have hit my face with a stone wrapped in sheet."
Virat playing as if anushka has told him kasam hai tumhein hamare pyar ki aaj jeetkar aana. #RCBvsKKR,"Virat playing as if anushka has told him ""swear on our love, today you win and come."" #RCBvsKKR"
Agr ap aur thodi der mein nhi aye toh sab pagal ho jye ge jaldi ayu....,"if you don't come in another some time, everybody will go mad. come fast."
"RT @deepkbudki : Akele hain , chale Aao jahan ho . Yeh session aur yeh Modi , Congress ki strength hai thori , chale aao jahan ho . Singer #SoniaG Fil","RT @deepkbudki : we are alone, come wherever you are. this session and this little bit of strength of modi, congess is there, come wherever you are. singer #SoniaG"
Wake up ! GST aane wala h aur tm khamosh ho ? Utho aur iska virodh krke raaiyta failao. Entertainment chahiye Hume 0,wake up! gst is about to come and you are quiet? wake up and oppose it and spill the milk. we want entertainment.
Yadav bhaiya good pace ! Bahut badiya 😆 aisa he gola feko #IndvsSA #CWC15,"yadav brother, good pace! very good, bowl like this only. #IndvsSA #CWC15"
Journo : How is #RailBudget2015 ? Harsha Bhogle : The two best Bangladesh batsmen are Mushfiqur Rahim and Shakib al Hasan .,journo: how is #RailBudget2015? harsha bhogle: the two best bangladesh batsmen are mushfiqur rahim and shakib al hasan .
@Atheist_Krishna Tu saale claim karta hai tu Sunny Leone se mila hai.. Hum proof maangte hai kya ?? @Being_Humor,"@Atheist_Krishna you claim that ypou have met sunny leone, do we ask for proof? @Being_Humor"
"Bhai accident dubara toh ni kr dya,jo ab tk ni aaye,aa b jao sir","you haven't done the accident again right, brother, that you haven't come till now. atleast come sir."
@HaramiParindey jo bole so nihaal nahi dekhi? aapne kabhi hawa ko dekha hai :P,@HaramiParindey have you not watched jo bole so nihaal? Have you ever watched air!
"Sir, Abhi desh ke sabhi state ka tour laga ne to nikle. Jaise 2014 ke election me aap nikle the. Aab dekhye kitna parivartan/ change hua hai ke nahi.","sir, now you have gone on a tour of every state of the country just like you left in the 2014 election, now watch if any change has happened or not."
"Namaskar @narendramodi ""ji i hate political ""person but sirf main Modiji Ko jaanta or manta hu #Modiji #GST Janta ko khokla kr Raha he #Help",greetings @narendramodi i hate political people but I pnly know and follow modi #Modiji #GST is making population hollow #Help
Kamal karte ho bajrangi bhaiya itna intzar ,-)
@Javed_Del @yudhajit Salary yaani aadhi gharwali. Old twitter saying.,@yudhajit salary is like half a wife. It's an old twitter saying.
"@YearOfRat Aah. Dekho, skip kar sakte ho to!",@YearOfRat aah! see if we can skip.
"Aah., itni angrezi nahi samajhti mujhe :)",aah! i don't understand this much english.
"Chalo koi na, behti Baga beach mein haath daalne ke baad, ek baar Ganga mein haath dhona toh zaroori hai!","okay no problem, after putting our hands inside the flowing baga beach, it is necesaary to wash our hands in ganga once!"
@EngineeRoholic mast hai yaarpic.twitter.com/Z2krm8Qfn1,"@EngineeRoholic the picture is awesome, my friend."
"@White_Crimes chalo ab so jao, kal kaam par jaana hai na?","@White_Crimes everyone should sleep, we have to go to work tomorrow, right?"
@TheVacuumHead lagta hai jaise abhi Hindi sheekhi hai.,@TheVacuumHead it seems you have learned hindi just now.
@Integrated_me par iska koi dharm nahi hai na.,"@Integrated_me but it does not have any religion, right."
sudharega to tu kabhi nahi gaurav .  .  .  :p,"you will never improve, gaurav."
"thandi ka ,  halwa ka ,  mummy ka ,  school ka .  .  .  . sabka ka kahani bateyga re mera faisal .  .  .  . jiyo mere cheethey .  .  . ","cold,halwa, mother, school, my faisal will tell every story, live my cheetah."
"Mastizaade Official Trailer - Sunny Leone , Tusshar Kapoor and Vir Das https://t.co/b7VyI6ccD6 or jhel desh raha he #LandAcquisitionBill ht","mastizaade official trailer - sunny leone , tusshar kapoor and vir das https://t.co/b7VyI6ccD6 and the country is facing #LandAcquisitionBill ht"
@PriyancaBajaj _/\_ Shukriya Bajaj ji,@PriyancaBajaj thank you mr bajaj
@Jamuntini Mujhe ek patli abla naari staying around Shanivarwada.,@Jamuntini i found a thin helpless woman staying around shanivarwada.
"RT @BT_India : #RailBudget2015 "" Hey Prabhu , ye kaise hoga ? "" @sureshpprabhu cracks jokes in speech http://t.co/xs560UjscX #BudgetBT http://t .","RT @BT_India : #RailBudget2015 ""oh lord, how would this happen?"" @sureshpprabhu cracks jokes in speech http://t.co/xs560UjscX #BudgetBT http://t ."
@TimesofBullshit @Rai_Sachin Bundelkhand main bhi use hota hai,@TimesofBullshit @Rai_Sachin is also used in bundelkhand.
kejriwal dilli walon ki VAT laga rahe hain.,kejriwal is destroying delhi people.
@gurmeetramrahim #HeroNo1BRR good morning pita ji,@gurmeetramrahim #HeroNo1BRR good morning father.
@oothikicha @Ojasism ta ra ra dekhne me rah gaya hoga,@oothikicha @Ojasism it must gave been left while looking at ta ra ra.
"@retardedwriter Maine bhi kiya hai dost, maine bhi!","@retardedwriter i have also done it friend, me too."
super contra n mario :-),super contra and mario
@BeingSalmanKhan Twitter ka troll bhi on hai bhai,@BeingSalmanKhan twitter's troll is also on brother.
Irfan wahab amir ko bithana tha . Spinners ko lana tha . Imad ko khilalaitay 😒 https://t.co/DCzFLf0UWg,"irfan, wahab and amir must have been seated. spinners must have been brought in. imad must have been made to play.https://t.co/DCzFLf0UWg"
@TheVacuumHead Yay! @KajuBadamChor tu ja naha kar aa @ShraddhaKapoor,@TheVacuumHead yay! @KajuBadamChor go and come after taking a bath @ShraddhaKapoor
sirji...pls visit to Kanpur oncem...plssss.,"sir, please visit kanpur once."
@Ra_Bies ye kya hogaya tumko?,@Ra_Bies what has happened to you?
hmmm salman etna intezar krana thk nhi apne fans ko..,"salman, it is not good to make your fans wait so much."
"@neha_aks @bainjal @sanandanbk Neha Srivastava Zindabad! Lanat hai Swati tum par, Saryu Parin Brahmin ho kar aisa sanskar :(","@neha_aks @bainjal @sanandanbk long live neha srivastava! shame on you swati, you have such sacraments even after being a saryu parin brahmin."
.@ANI_news bhai thode achche camere khareed lo,@ANI_news you should purchase some better cameras brother.
RT @Singhlicious : Baa : dahej me kya diya ? Baa's son : BacardiBaa : that's the spirit,RT @Singhlicious : baa: what did they give as dowry? baa's son: Bacardi baa: that's the spirit
michael jackson bad 25 will air november 22 on abc .  make sure you watch it !  :) http/URL,michael jackson's bad 25 will air november 22 on abc. make sure you watch it.
@chatpatidiary Haww. Maine sirf ek sawaal pucha tumse,@chatpatidiary ah! i asked you just one question.
Ye Bangaali hai shakal se. Maa ki kasam.https://twitter.com/BabaFirki/status/697088447266340866 …,"he is a bengali by face, I swear it on my mother."
Gyan aur pyaar hamesha baantna chahiya.,we should always share knowledge and love.
Tek ha ap is.waqt bht bzi ha,you are very busy right now.
Aj #trump naacha hai & from now on #saudiz naachay gay,trump danced today and #saudiz will dance from now on
"Political journey of Kejriwal,
from ""Mujhe chahiye Swaraj"" to ""Mujhe chahiye Laluraj""","political jorney of kejriwal, from ""i want independence"" to ""i want lalu's rule"""
"volunteering 4 the obama campaign this am !  but i keep waitin 4 #olivia to come in yelling  "" super tuesday is coming people !  ""  @someUSER","i am volunteerng for the obama campaign this morning but i keep waiting for #olivia to come in yelling ""super tuesday is coming people!""@someUSER"
"you are in Gurgaon only, galati se bhi nahi milna kabhi share mein, naam aur shakal yaad rakhunga tumhari  @nickhunterr","you are in Gurgaon only, galati se bhi nahi milna kabhi share mein, naam aur shakal yaad rakhunga tumhari@nickhunterr"
"Haan, aisa hi samajh lo","yes, something like this."
"@dwivedi_ji12  gundo ke aage joda nitish ne hath aur chati thok ke loota inhone Bihar.
#NitishKaNakliVikas",@dwivedi_ji12 nitish gave in to the goons and they proudly ripped off bihar. #NitishKaNakliVikas
@zzoker 1-2 mahine me pata chalega @nickhunterr,@zzoker we will get to know in 1-2 months @nickhunterr
salman ji ap kaha ho.plz ajao,where are you salman? please come.
RT @tushardave15 : Please follow @kuldpvys jindagi par iske tweets bahut shaandar aur laajawaab hote hain . Pichle kuch RT'S dekhein . 👏👏👏,"RT @tushardave15 : Please follow @kuldpvys, his tweets about life are amazing and proceless. Look at some of the previous RT's."
Har item k rate badh gaye hai #GST k baad...koi bhi item sasti nahi hui hai..kabhi bazaar ja kar ghar ka raashan to lao .fir bolo #IndianEconomyInICU,"the rates of all items have increased after #GST, no item has become cheaper. go to the market to buy groceries some day and then say #IndianEconomyInICU."
_/\_ Meri aankhon mein aansoo :'(,_/\_ tears in my eyes :'(
"#garbage bin to hmare childhood ki  "" yaadon ka pitara  ""  h …… <3 ;) :p b-) :*",#garbage bin the box of memories of my childhood <3 
hahah :p humko ladoo nai milte the school mein :(,hahah :p We didn't use to get ladoo in school :(
@VoodooMirchi practise to subah hi shuru hoti hai na,@VoodooMirchi Practise starts in the morning
Tujh mein rub dikhta hai yaara what to do?,"I see god in you. Friend, what do I do?"
hmmm mujhe bhi lagta h kv ke student hai .  .  .,hmm I also think that he is a kv student .  .  .
"Pakka today pakka, kal bahot late hogaya! Smile :-*","Sure. Sure, today, it got very late yesterday! Smile :-*"
thanks garbage bin .  .  .  kuch yaad dila diya tumne .,thanks garbage bin .  .  .  you made me remember something .
yes actully its 4.06 ..,"yes, actually it is 4:06"
"""Salman Bhai""
Kyun bhai? Jaaydad ka bantwara bhi kar lo uske saath.","""Salman Bhai""
Why brother? Divide your parental property also with them."
@adagio_aria pure bachhan parivar ki hi fan hai kya aap,@adagio_aria are you a fan of the whole bachhan family
ek baar mere wrestling stickers chura liye the mere best friend ne .  fir ek din uski book ke andar mile .  . :p,once my best friend stole my wrestling stickers .  then I found it inside his book .  . :p
@AdvancedMaushi ok @ShraddhaKapoor mere dost ko tumhari chahiye,@AdvancedMaushi ok @ShraddhaKapoor my friend wants yours
@jansimoshi this is Mumbai yaar chhat nahi hoti yahan. Kapde are safe.,@jansimoshi this is Mumbai friend. Roofs aren't here. Clothes are safe.
"cricket khelne ke samay saare sweaters ek jagah rakhte the ,  or baad me saare interchange ho jaate the . ","Everyone will keep their sweaters at the same place while playing cricket, and then they will get interchanged"
@Being_Humor @KyaUkhaadLega logon ko har cheez se problem hai yahan,@Being_Humor @KyaUkhaadLega People have probelms with everything here
@huh_watnow LOL Aapke charan kaha hai.. kiss karne hai #FootFetish ,)
"@AazadPanchhi dard is like paise, aaj hai kal nahi. Tension nahi lene ka","@Azadpanchhi  pain is like rupees, today it is ..tomorrow it will not.  Don't worry"
India waley Holi ke din bhi phatakey phorengey #TakeThatPakis,Indian will burst crakers on holi also #TakeThatPakis
yeh to usse bhi danger lagta hai mujhe  chal dusra email dekar karta hu hota hai to @Sand_In_Deed @ScoopWhoop,this is more dangerous than earlier one. i am trying to do with another email if it works @sand_In_Deed@ScoopWhoop 
Revnge takedown :D rspct,Revenge takedown :D respct
@SwaggerBanno bhadka kahan hai yaar? Woh apne andaaz se kuch ehna chah raha hai. @hindiplz,@SwaggerBanno where is the elder one friend? he want to say something in his own style. @hindiplz
Paytm se paise kaise nikalte hai?,How one can withdraw money from paytm?
rani color wala le jao madam.. shaadi ka time hai @tinabasetia,take queen color madam....marriage season is going on @tinabasetia
Fenkte congress wale hai israt ko shahid Bol ke https://t.co/PCAajl30Qr,congress people brag by saying israt as martyr https://t.co/PCAajl30Qr
"@KyaUkhaadLega :D HAdd karte hai yaar. CArd wapas aata hi nahi bahar machine se... slip, pakode sab aajayenge magar card nahi",@KyaUkhaadLega :D This is the limit brother. The card doesn't come out of the machine. Everything will come out except the card.
haha wohi sochu! Jald karte hai,"haha, i was also thinking that. Let's do it quickly."
"jaldi aaja daaru lekar, issi khushi ka jashn manayenge",go fast and bring wine .we will celebrate this happiness
@CaptDheer @Being_Humor @GadhviLaxman kya chori kiya Bhai Hume bhi pata chale: ),@CaptDheer @Being_Humor @GadhviLaxmanWhat did he steal? we also want to know.
"Roger 'Arbaaz Khan Ka Bichda Hua Judwa Bhai' Federer

#CelebMiddleNames","Roger 'Arbaaz Khan's lost twin brother' Federer

#CelebMiddleNames"
@nickhunterr aise hi hot ladkiyo ka attention bator raha hai @zzoker,@nickhunterr in the same way he keep on attracting hot girls @zzoker
"@Dishasatra ye jhoot hai, jhoot. Safed jhoot","@Dishasatra this is a lie, white lie"
likh na.. sharma kya raha hai,write...why are you feeling shy?
@Psilosophy bhai tu raendey. Lucknow ki biryani ko apne napaak irado ke liye istemaal kiya tumne,"@Psilosophy brother, leave it. You used the Lucknow biryani for Lucknow ki biryani ko apne napaak irado ke liye istemaal kiya tumne"
@PallaviRuhail chup chup chup gandi bachhi,@PallaviRuhail quiet quiet quiet naughty girl
"What they announce: kripya Darwaazo se hat kar khade ho

What Delhi listens: Darwaazo se hat kar aur ladki se satkar khade ho

#DelhiMetro","What they announce: Please stand away from the doors

What Delhi listens: Please stand away from the doors and near to the girls

#DelhiMetro"
@Gaurav_SRKian 54% to ho gaya aur kitna karwaoge,@Gaurav_SRKian 54% is already done how much more will be made to do
"@TheSepticHermit Oh, pyar ka jawaab ghussa. Okay then!","@TheSepticHermit Oh, the response to love is anger. Okay then!"
@kitAnurag ok thk hai kar de,@kitAnurag okay. it is okay. will do it.
Vai apka koi vi filim hanne dekna nihei chora....,We watched all your films
ur Bhabhi in her maayka.. imma free bird,Your sister-in-law has gone to her parents home. I am a free bird.
nahin bhai aur wahan rakhne se koi faida nahin .  .  .  hamein hi de do .  .  .  hum phod denge,no brother and there is no point keeping it there. . . give it to us only. . . we will burst them
going to see kendrick lamar with @someUSER in jan :d,Going to see Kendrick Lamar with @someUSER in january :d
@sayshardik @ManUtd Tu Abrahamovic hai aaj pata chala. _/\_,@sayshardik @ManUtd I got to konw today that you are Abrahamovic _/\_
@Trendulkar Threshold pressure ke bina kaam nahi karta !,@Trendulkar does not work without threshold pressure !
chalo jaan bachi logon ki.,Thankfully people are saved
@ranote_aman It was good . Wapis aane ka Mann nahi tha .,@ranote_aman It was good . Did not feel like coming back.
Paese bhi koi ped pe ugte hain? Bilkul NAHI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzEcGzm63MA … #JanoTohMano,Does money grow on trees? Of course not https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzEcGzm63MA … #JanoTohMano
"Achhe ghar ki bahu chahiye.

Matlab kisi aur ki biwi.","Need a daughter-in-law from a good family.
Means someone else's wife"
@LoKarloUnfollow LOL.. Ye mere dost ki pic hai.. Abhi bhejta hu use ,)
@iamsonisinghal jee haan.. Samaj gaya,@iamsonisinghal yes I understood
"8lez,ap fix tym bta dijiye sir ki kb are ho.ap fb p","Sir, please let me know when you are coming on fb"
@lady_naarad tum to cute ho.. Tumhe pickup line ki zarurat nahi hai,"@lady_naarad You are cute, you wont need a pickup line"
RT @Saj_PakPassion : PCB confirms that Intikhab Alam will be the team manager for Pakistan's tour of England #Cricket #EngvPak,RT @Saj_PakPassion : PCB confirms that Intikhab Alam will be the team manager for Pakistan's tour of England #Cricket #EngvPak
@Venom_Tweets bahubali dekh bhai,@Venom_Tweets Watch bahubali
Very nice to see Deepak Dobriyal and Dhinchak pooja datingpic.twitter.com/7s91ii9nGJ,Very nice to see Deepak Dobriyal and Dhinchak pooja datingpic.twitter.com/7s91ii9nGJ
man philosophical ho raha hai :),He is being philosophical :)
@bruiselee kaka sarfarosh nahi Dekhi kya?,"@bruiselee Uncle, haven't you watched sarfarosh"
"Baakhde pe, sadak ke kone par.
Tum nahi samjhogi madamhttps://twitter.com/paharganj2paris/status/854609357622976512 …","In the corner of the road, you won't understand Madam.https://twitter.com/paharganj2paris/status/854609357622976512 …"
@bhupendra panwar...tu pakistan kyu ni chala jata 5 saal k liye..?,@bhupendra panwar...why dont you go to Pakistan for 5 years..?
"So jao liberals.. kal subah se phir gaand maarwani hai tum logo ko

#Trumpocalypse","*
"
@someUSER how does it compare to diablo iii (regardless of how fair that comparison may be) ?,@someUSER how does it compare to diablo iii (regardless of how fair that comparison may be) ?
@BolshoyBooze Dil hai ke maanta nahipic.twitter.com/iG6Ag3nhk4,@BolshoyBooze This heart does not understand pic.twitter.com/iG6Ag3nhk4
"hahaha, hota hai. Mehfil jamane ki zaroorat hai","hahaha, it happens. a gettogether is essential"
Mery chanda jaldi kr.,Mery chanda do fast.
@Ra_Bies LOL @akshaykanitkar tumko rabies ka ishara samaj hi nahi aaya,@Ra_Bies LOL @akshaykanitkar you did not understand the wave of rabies
Bhai @retardedwriter beer pila de,Bhai @retardedwriter treat me a beer
"China ka maal chalu hai
#ArvindKejriwalAalooHai",goods from china are of low quality #ArvindKejriwalAalooHai
Oh..ho sacchi... #salman_sir bhale aap baat kare ya na kare bas 1 baar #chhattishgadiya_sable_badiya bol de.... I_love_u... Ek aap bas acche lgte mujhe..,"oh right #salman_sir irrespective of whether you talk or not, say #chhattishgadiya_sable_badiya once  I_love_u... I only like you"
bhai koi dubai me nahi hai ye @kamaalrkhan. Dombivali ki chaul me baith ke padosi ke WiFi se tweet kar raha hai.,"Brother, he is not in dubai @kamaalrkhan sitting in dombivali weeting from neighbours wifi"
Pata chala to beer pilaoge?,treat us with beer if you get to know about it
@PoojaMissra negative log kabhi positive baat nahi kar sakte bhai  #FailedCMNitish,@PoojaMissra brother! negative people never talk about positive things  #FailedCMNitish
"Aaja saanjh huwi mujhe teri fikar, dhundhla gayi dekh meri nazar... Aajana...
#MomsLove","come. it is evening, and I am worried about you. it's getting dark, come back #MomsLove"
agar aisa school ho tab to mai pakka top karungi .  :d,I will definitely top if the school is like this  :d
Aj Mahashivratri k subh apsr pr 11:30 pm se puri rat jagiye CID k sath n kijiye burae ka srhansh @SonyTV @dayanandcid @shivaajisatam,"on the occassion of mahashivratri, watch CID all night from 11:30 pm and destroy evil @SonyTV @dayanandcid @shivaajisatam"
"RT @JantaKaReporter : While jury is out on Achche Din , Modi will say "" Zara Muskura Do "" on 26 May . Read why https://t.co/0vcHPwv95V","RT @JantaKaReporter : While jury is out on achche din , modi will say "" please smile "" on 26 may . read why https://t.co/0vcHPwv95V"
@HaddHaiYaar bhai so ja,@HaddHaiYaar brother go to sleep
@TrulyMonica hum Kejriwal ko vote dene walo se baat nahi karte ,) @Being_Humor
"Maine apne zindagi ka sach sweekar kar liya hai Vishakha, main Raju Akela, akela hi sahi. ","i have accepted the truth vishakha, i am raju alone, better alone"
.@UniqueIdiot_ haha.. Tu aur kya karne aaya hai yaha bhai ,)
sab ka ek story .  . hahaha,everyone has the same story . . hahaha
Modiji humse darr gayehttps://twitter.com/OpIndia_com/status/768312511452082176 …,modiji got scared of us https://twitter.com/OpIndia_com/status/768312511452082176 …
Sir aap itna hi kah diye to kafi hai ...:-),"Sir, that's enough if you say that ... :-)"
@indiantweeter epic tweets kar do ek do. Bahut din nahi kiye,@indiantweeter tweet 1-2 epic tweets. havent tweeted since very long time.
meko add kar lo guys  .  .  please  .  .  bet jeetni hai meko,add me guys . . please . . i have to win the bet
Salman bhai loves us....so dnt be disappointed. ...ek din bhai se milne ka mauka sab ko milega...,Brother Salman loves us....so don't be disappointed. ... everyone will get a chance to meet brother
"#GuessTheSong

Dil bhi kahin hai pahadon mein
Thoda sa kahin hai kinaron mein.","#GuessTheSong

Heart is somewhere in the mountains
And a little bit on the bank"
@Insane_chorri bahut log aisi dua maang rahe hai,@Insane_chorri a lot of people are praying for the same thing
@aanchalator Hum to tere aashiq hai sadiyo puraane..,@aanchalator I am your centuries old lover ..
tu pluto pe chali jaa  .  .  .  .  .  nobdy will follow u  .  .  !  !,You go to pluto . . . nobody will follow you
"@Veer_Marathi daaru free ki zaroor pilana, mil lunga.","@Veer_Marathi treat us with free wine, I will meet you"
R„j'Œv V‹V†‘¤ Ready ho bhai aaj ki party ke liye,get ready for today's party
done hai bhai! Kanpur mein jo thake hone ke karan na kar paaye iss baar vasoolenge!,"It is done brother! Whatever we couldn't do in Kanpur, we will do it tis time."
Ab Bihar walo ko Bihar me naukri lagwao #ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao,Get employment for bihar people in Bihar only #ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao
ha ha ha  . yehi hai right choice baby .,ha ha ha  . this is the rigth choice baby
@Miss_Ankiita @Shahrcasm mujhe lag raha hai ye @BloodyKamina ka hi account hai,@Miss_Ankiita @Shahrcasm I think this is @BloodyKamina account
bhai .  .  .  matches tak guddu ka ghar se nikalna band kar do .  .  .  .  hum world cup jeet jaayenge .  .  .  :),brother ... stop guddu from coming out of his home .. we will win the world cup . . :)
"@Ra_Bies hahahahaha, hanumanji ki bhakt thi sirf saturday ko hi karti hogi. Puja.","@Ra_Bies hahahahaha, she is a devotee of hanumanji. She prays only in saturday."
RT @TanuInsan : @Gurmeetramrahim @samachar_plus @6 #HeroNo1BRR thanku guru ji PTI chairman criticis ... https://t.co/l9HbDy1hIW #etribune,RT @TanuInsan : @Gurmeetramrahim @samachar_plus @6 #HeroNo1BRR thank you sir PTI chairman critic is ... https://t.co/l9HbDy1hIW #etribune
Great sir'' jabtak suraz chand rahega modiji ka naam rahega....,"Great sir. Till the sun and moon live on, modiji's name will prevail"
aisa hota hi toh nahi hai :(,this doesn't happen
"Mera naam hai thulla, rakhta hu hamesha khullahttps://twitter.com/dna/status/624985897008627715 …","My name is thulla, I always keep change  https://twitter.com/dna/status/624985897008627715 …"
"Thanks maa, magar tumhare suggestions tumhare paas rakho. Yhan gyan na baatein, yahan sab gyani hai.","Thanks mother, but keep your suggestions to yourself. Don't share your knowledge here, everyone is knowledgable here."
Humne sarkar se kaha tha #GST mein itne slabs nahi hone chahiye aur 18% par GST ka limit hona chahiye: #RahulGandhi in Ahmedabad,We advised the government to not keep so many slabs in GST and it should be limited to 18%
ye @nickhunterr ne RT kiya hai.,@nickhunterr has retweeted this.
"Gareebi ka mahaul hai, aajkal metro lene laga hu.","It is the time of poverty, so I travel by metro these days"
"bad year "" Dhoni b gaya aur crush ki b shaddi hogyi #Dhoni",bad year. Dhoni also went away and crush also got married. #Dhoni
Gosh ! So that's wot it is ... With all those old ladies in rocking-chairs !!!,Gosh! That is what it is ... With all those old ladies in the rocking-chairs!
@Simply_neev tujhe pata hai I speak truth,@Simply_neev you know that i speak the truth
"Aadil: Bhai ek lakh chahiye shaam tak.. Possible hai ?

Anwar: Aadil Hai Mushkil..

#BoycottADHM","Aadil: Brother, I need 1 lakh rupees till today evening. Is it possible?
Anwar: Aadil It's difficult..
#BoycottADHM"
"apna @Vjuneesh bhai apne ko mere jaisa papad aur chana mein kanda, mirchi, nimboo maarke khaane wala lagta hai.","Our @Vjuneesh brother looks like me, who will eat peas, papad, onion, chilli, and lemon"
"maine socha aaj hotel me 5000 dekar 3-4 peg peene se achcha hai.. kal 3-4 botal khareed lu aur mahine bhar enjoy karu

Baniye ka dimaag. HNY",I thought I will pay 5000 in hotel to drink 3-4 peg. It is better that I buy 3-4 bottles and enjoy the whole month. 
LOL! Tu kahan hai bhai ismein?,LOL! Where are you in this?
staff room m party wo b bacho ke paiso se hhuh  .  .  .  :p,party in the staff room from students money hhuh  .  .  .  :p
@teengirlstext @greatrabranimm aaj Sunday hai ji,@teengirlstext @greatrabranimm Today is sunday
Yeh thoda zyada ho gaya chacha jihttps://twitter.com/mohanstatsman/status/734434380828028928 …,This was a bit too much uncle https://twitter.com/mohanstatsman/status/734434380828028928
aaj apne hi desh mein mein bahut bacho ko asthma / air pollution se bacha liya gaya #crackerban #Diwali,Today I saved many children from air pollution in my own country #crackerban #Diwali
@bruiselee yahi toh scam hai,@bruiselee This is what I call scam! 
"@KameeniChhori most important, koi hath pakde to gale mat pad jaao",@KameeniChhori Most importantly if someone holds your hand then don't take it for granted
Waitin 4 #Modi ji 2 say #Mitron 0 #Virat ki shadi bhi tabhi hui jab kendra me #BJP ki sarkar hai 0 Kya ye acche din nahi hai mitron ?,waiting for #Modi ji to say #Mitron 0 #Virat also got married after #BJP government came to power in center. Are these not good days?
guddu se bhi jyada dussht hai ye teacher .  .  .  . raman sir ko chhodna mat guddu .  .  .,This teacher is worse than guddu... don't let him go guddu
600.0000000 se paar gayi bhaijaan,It's gone over 600.0000000 bro! 
@DefucktiveHumor mushkil hai mazza aayega,@DefucktiveHumor It's difficult but lot of fun. 
aur phir proof bhi deta.. dekho Mehr ka ration card..,"And then I gave proof too, now see my ration card! "
Kamaal ki baat hai naa ... Jo log JNU ki dustbin se condom dhundh ke laa skte hai 0 Woh Najeeb ko nhi dhundh paa rahe. #najeebahmed #jnu,It is astonishing ... People who can  retrieve condom from JNU dustbin are not able to find Najeeb. #najeebahmed #jnu
"Zyada followers wale bhi inhe support kar rahe hai..sad to see

Kal to tum jise bhagwaan maante ho.. like ur parents..unhe bhi mock karenge","People with lots of followers are also supporting him..sad to see
Whoever you consider god.. like ur parents..mock them also"
"Chavanni ki shakal.
Bara aane ki akkad.",All beauty and no brains
"@i_fattimaayyy 7:00 Bahut time hai abhi , chill 😎","@i_fattimaayyy 7:00 There is lot of time now, enjoy 😎"
"""A shy for a shy will make the whole world a sanskaari bhartiya naari"" - Mahatma Aloknath","""A shy for a shy will make the whole world a traditional indian woman"" - Mahatma Aloknath"
RT @VioletVeronique : Pandya ne ek achaa kaam Kiya at least .,RT @VioletVeronique : Pandya did one correct thing at last.
Really aap aaye kya.....i can't beleive....,Did you really came back? I can't believe. 
This is how we Indians Celebrated #slapday on 15-02-2015 #indvspak #CWC15 pakistaniyo tum se na ho payega .. :D,This is how we Indians Celebrated #slapday on 15-02-2015 #indvspak #CWC15 pakistans you wont be able to do it .. :D
@grtkrk fir to in dono ka koi chance hi nahi.,@grtkrk Then there is no chance for both of them.
Lol water gun . Waise holi aa rhi hai . #Holi hai,It's water gun . By the way holi is coming. #Holi hai
Aree bhai koi Army Ko bhi credit de do jinhone Jaan hatehali par Dala hoga ,)
Om Namah Shivaya ' ka jaap kaal ke doshon ko door karta hai . Aaj ka din is jaap ka khas hi mahatva hai . Happy Mahashivratri,The chant of 'Om Namah Shivaya' will remove all the evils . Today is very important day for this chant. Happy Mahashivratri
kon kon online streaming kar k office se dekh raha hai .  .   ?  ?  ?,Who all are online streaming from the office?
"Rona nahi hai bas chahe kuch bhi hojaye, haan beer zaroor piyenge.","Whatever happens we shouldn't cry no matter what, but yeah we will definitely drink beer"
hashtag kidhar hai? #DashSongs,Where is the hashtag? #DashSongs
paisa khuda to nahi... @waglenikhil,money is not god...@waglenikhil
@Ra_Bies Aamir Khan - Bas kar ab hasaega kya  @witchybitchygal,"@Ra_Bies Aamir Khan - stop, don't make me laugh @witchybitchygal"
@anilchawhan ho chuka hai,@anilchawhan it is done
RT @cricBC : 3 things Indians cant see- Maa ke aankh me aansu- Padosi ke paas lambi car- World Cup mein Pakistan se haar #IndvPak #WT20,"RT @cricBC : 3 things Indians cant see - tears in mothers eyes, big car with neighbour - defeat from Pakistan in world cup #IndvPak #WT20"
Tujhe yaad na meri aayee..,you forgot me
@BucketheadCase @Psilosophy yeh wala ho chuka hai,@BucketheadCase @Psilosophy this one is already done beofre
Gulab Jamun aur Rasgulle ki Jodi. Aaye Haaye.pic.twitter.com/xfggLMFmLt,The pairing of Rasgulla and Gulab Jamun pic.twitter.com/xfggLMFmLt
Kya baat kya baat kya hai . dats the sprit😊 https://t.co/5fi3RDHNWd,What is the thing? Good. That is the spirit. https://t.co/5fi3RDHNWd
ek chhota helicopter bhi.,one small helicopter also
@Dishasatra ye kya hai?,@Dishasatra what is this?
Bhaiyya Gulam aapne (congress) ne 70 saal mai kyoun nahi #TripleTalaq ka hall doonda? Kya muslim auratei entertainment ka samaagri hai?,"Brother Gulam, why did you (congress) not find a solution for #TripleTalaq in the last 70 years? Are muslim women objects of entertainment?"
Aur karo Pakistaniyo pe vishwashttps://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/756417175670300672 …,Believe in Pakistanis https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/756417175670300672 …
"*Kanpur*

Jab din bhar gutkha chabana hai to subah brush karne ka point kya hai #PointKyaHai","*Kanpur*

If you have to eat tobacco whole day, then what is the point of brushing your teeth in the morning #PointKyaHai"
@imVkohli ke ghar ke bahar patthar maarna start hua ?,Did people start stone pelting outside @imVkohli 's house?
Pehele wo jeene nahi deti thi.. Ab uski yaadein jeene nahi deti..,"Earlier she made it difficult for me to live, now her memories do the same."
humare staff mein ek teacher aisi nhi hai jo bachon ko peet bhi deti hai  .  .  .  :( :(,We have a teacher in our staff who beats students . . . :( :(
cc @Alllahdin paise nahi hai bilkul :( Please daaru pila de.,cc @Alllahdin I dont have money :( Please buy us alcohol
"Indian parents after watching Mohit Sharma's performance "" Dekho Sharma ji ke bete ko , kuch seekho "" #IndvsSA #SAvsIND #IndiaVsSouthAfrica","Indian parents after watching Mohit Sharma's performance "" See, Learn something from Sharmaji's son"" #IndvsSA #SAvsIND #IndiaVsSouthAfrica"
Dear Pakistani fans rakhlo match ke baad kaam ayega 😂😂 #IndvsPak https://t.co/5bbfB8P5Fh,"Dear Pakistani fans, keep it, you will need it after the match‚ #IndvsPak https://t.co/5bbfB8P5Fh"
Mere bhai... #BJP ne kyu samarthan nahi Kiya... #gst #AadharCard #rojgar yojna ka... Fir power main aane par... Congress walo ke ideas copy,Brother... Why did #BJP not support ... #gst #AadharCard #rojgar yojna ... Then they copied the ideas of congress after coming to power
ye kaunse size ki baat kar rahe ho tum?,What size are you talking about?
Kya ha kaun ha kyu bol rahe ho ha?,What happened? Who is this? What are you saying?
@SatanKiNani More than one person. Sachchai kisi kisi ko thodi zyaada hi kadwi lagti hai.,@SatanKiNani More than one person. Some people find the truth to be more bitter than everyone else. 
@citytroglodyte ladkiyan aise hi hoti hai bhai,"@citytroglodyte brother, girls are like this only"
"Cant wait to see @luckyali perform live , samjhe zamana ke dil hai khilona jaana hai ab kya hai dil ka lagana https://t.co/5nZuZaJmOg","Cant wait to see @luckyali perform live , understand that heart is a toy of the world, and I got to know what it is to fall in love https://t.co/5nZuZaJmOg"
@Atheist_Krishna sahi me phone mil raha hai ?? Mujhe bhi chahiye naya phone  @miss_cherished,@Atheist_Krishna Is it true that phones are being given?? I also want a new phone  @miss_cherished
@tweeting_pal cute ladkiyo ko aajtak kaun mana kar paya hai @UniqueIdiot_,@tweeting_pal  who has been able to say no toc ute girls @UniqueIdiot_
@Utkarshdwivedi4 11 season aane hai,@Utkarshdwivedi4 11 season will come
hastag kidhar hai? #FeministMovies,Where is the hashtag? #FeministMovies
Don't worry bhai.. kehne wale kehte rahein just ignore... #Being_human_bajrangi_bhaijaan_6_days_to_go,"Don't worry brother.. people will keep talking, just ignore... #Being_human_bajrangi_bhaijaan_6_days_to_go"
Bihariyon ke dil ka karaar kisne loota hai?,Who looted the peace of Bihari people?
teachers day m hum party krte the aur childrens day m hum se he humari party krwate the  .  .  .,we used to party on teachers day and on childrens day  aur childrens day m hum se he humari party krwate the  .  .  .
@Shahrcasm yaha ke congress wale maha badnaam hai @digvijaya_28,@Shahrcasm Congress people are very infamous here @digvijaya_28
India ne Bangladesh ko World Cup se Dhaka diya! #IndvsBan,India gave Bangladesh Dhaka from teh World Cup! #IndiavsBan
"Aaj ek hasi aur has lo, aaj ek aansoo aur pi lo...","Smile today, shed a tear today"
ye kaam to bohot kiya hai .,I have done this work a lot
"#IndvsSA A . B . De villiers will take revenge from dhawan . India waalo , #patakhe footenge ?","#IndvsSA A . B . De villiers will take revenge from dhawan . People from India , #patakhe will we burst crackers ?"
hairaan ho gaye anushka k dus devar .  .,anushka's 10 brother-in-laws were shocked
4 : 19 ho rhe kha ho bhai,it's 4:19. where are you brother?
" *khushi ke aansoo*
Aur Khushi ka Rum!https://twitter.com/ek_samosa_dena/status/642054244657328128 …",*tears of joy* and tears of rum https://twitter.com/ek_samosa_dena/status/642054244657328128 …
tumhe politicians ko mention karna chaiye tha is post mein desh ko chalane wale to vo hai  .  .,you should have mentioned politicians in this post. they are the ones who run this country
@Prachi_licious kyunki tumne mujhe kabhi nahi sweekara </3,@Prachi_licious because you never accepted me </3
@TheVacuumHead GAUR SE DEKHIYE ISS LADKI KO,@TheVacuumHead look at this girl carefully
bhai aisa kyu kiya maggi ki sath :(,"brother, why did you do this to maggi :("
"Hota hai yaar, realisation subah hi hota hai ","it happens, realization comes in the morning only"
"@someUSER @someUSER i'm everyday dressed up with my spartacus costume .  so ,  if you miss this halloween ,  we may catch up anytime ! ","@someUSER @someUSER I'm dressed up in my spartacus costume everyday. So , if you miss me this halloween , we may catch up sometime later ! "
aapne mujhe bataya nahi ke mere paas bhi bandi hai! :D,you didn't tell me that you also have a girl! :D
Ya rabba de de koi ____ bhi agar,oh god if someone gives ____
gonna meet the cast of spartacus on the 7th !  i am too excited !,Going to meet the cast of spartacus on the 7th! I am very excited!
emaa jo #RahulGandhi campaign karva aaya to 100% # કોંગ્રેસ_હારે_છે,"look, if #RahulGandhi comes to campaign, then 100% #congress_will_lose"
bhai ek saal ho gaya.. aisa lag raha jaise kal hi ki baat ho @MeetUunngLee @Babu_Bhaiyaa @bhaiyyajispeaks,"brother, one year has passed.. feels like it is a thing of yesterday @MeetUunngLee @Babu_Bhaiyaa @bhaiyyajispeaks"
"Tu chahe beh jaaye tu laut ke aayega, ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera tujhe hai pukara - Old Monk","even if you flow away, you will come back, this your country, your swades, it is calling you - Old Monk"
@ImAbhishek_ woh keh rahaiyan hain ki hamay ronaa aa rahay hain,@ImAbhishek_ she is saying that i am getting emotional 
Sir @ArvindKejriwal Iska poora khoon nikaal ke dilli me jagah jagah phenk do.. Machchar soongte hi mar jaengepic.twitter.com/boAKoWQLzR,Sir @ArvindKejriwal Spray all his blood in delhi in different places.. Mosquitos will die the moment the smell it pic.twitter.com/boAKoWQLzR
@Ra_Bies kya hogaya Doga?,@Ra_Bies what happened Doga?
@stfu_veer bhai tu aajkal saal me ek hi baar kyu aata hai twitter pe ? @twinitisha,@stfu_veer brother why do you come to twitter only once a year? @twinitisha
aankhon main aansu la diye .  :p,you brought tears to my eyes :p
Isne aaj subah Sir Ashutosh ki photo dekh lihttps://twitter.com/shoaib100mph/status/891012096732909568 …,he saw the photo of Sir Ashutosh https://twitter.com/shoaib100mph/status/891012096732909568 …
#MannKiBaat ? to #Trump se baat kon kar raha hai ?,#MannKiBaat ? Then who is talking to #Trump?
@balliawalebaba hahaa bhai.. To twitter bhi chalaya karo,@balliawalebaba yes brother. Use twitter also.
@JoySrkian @shaharyarkhan61 Kingu .. Gaadi me kuch the kya ?? 😂😂😂 #DilwaleOnSony,@JoySrkian @shaharyarkhan61 Kingu .. Was there anything in the car? #DilwaleOnSony
"Contest players ka koi dharam nahi hota, kahin bhi lag padte hai.","Contest players have no religion, they start anywhere"
Intzar....... ho gye mere salmaan.... sir ki aae na kuch khabr sir ji aapki........,Wait ...  salman is mine ... have gotten no news of sir
.@RanaAyyub ko @shilpitewari ne maara mukkapic.twitter.com/TzRaT1DuTe,@shilpitewari hits @RanaAyyub pic.twitter.com/TzRaT1DuTe
Shuriya Smriti Ji. :),Thank you Smriti Ji. :)
omg the music video comes out tomorrow !  btw i still can't get over harry's voice :') http/URL,"Oh my god, the music video comes out tomorrow! By the way, I still cannot get over harry's voice :)"
#AnupamKher to play former PM #ManmohanSingh in a film based on Sanjaya Baru ’ s book . Jo against mai bolte the wo aaj bio kar rahe hai,#AnupamKher to play former PM #ManmohanSingh in a film based on Sanjaya Baru ’ s book . people who used to talk against him are today doing his biography
Jaldi hi #holi pe ban lagane wale hai,very soon there is going to be a ban on #holi
"LOL. I did Vishakha, I did! 
Zyada serious nahi hota hai mujhse","LOL. I did Vishakha, I did! 
I cannot be too serious"
@retardedwriter cigarette hai kya?,@retardedwriter do you have a cigarette?
@rushingquark mujhe toh kabhi nahi bola awesome tune,@rushingquark you never said I am awesome
"bhayiaa u lukin so superb at movie Bajrangi Bhaijaan,,Aise hi hamesha hum fans ko pyar dete rahe.Itna hi kaafi hai mere liye.Love you bhayiaa","brother you were looking superb in the movie Bajrangi Bhaijaan. Keep showering your love on your fans, it is enough for us. Love you brother."
these mauka mauka ads are insulting opponent .  which is not right .,"these mauka ads are insulting to the opponents, which is not right"
Barish ke kya chances hain.,What are the chances of rain?
@DespicableA Bijli sirf paper aur pani sirf flood me aata h.  #FailedCMNitish,@DespicableA electricity comes only on paper and water comes only with flood  #FailedCMNitish
@kyaYaarKuchBii Nahi bhai.. NO @MohMaaya,@kyaYaarKuchBii No brother No @MohMaaya
@HathwalaThakur Thakur aise tweet choro ko mat RT diya kar bhai https://twitter.com/kennedybrayboy/status/448963630865068032 … @CatWomaniya,@HathwalaThakur Thakur Dont retweet such tweets to boys https://twitter.com/kennedybrayboy/status/448963630865068032 … @CatWomaniya
@_Sir_John_ haha.. kaise ho john bhai,@_Sir_John_ haha.. how are you john brother
@RowdyTalks Bhuvan Rajora Kapil the IITian ka beta hai @Ra_Bies @coolfunnytshirt @RoflGandhi_ @KyaUkhaadLega @Being_Humor,@RowdyTalks Bhuvan Rajora Kapil is the son of an IITian @Ra_Bies @coolfunnytshirt @RoflGandhi_ @KyaUkhaadLega @Being_Humor
Pichai sahab se baat karke google me naukri lagwa do  https://twitter.com/DrJwalaG/status/678937490129092608 …,Talk to Pichai sir and get me a job in google https://twitter.com/DrJwalaG/status/678937490129092608 …
RT @SumanthTarak : what is the day1 hindi version collection sir ?? #SardaarGabbarSingh @Rentrak @taran_adarsh,RT @SumanthTarak : what is the day 1 hindi version collection sir ? #SardaarGabbarSingh @Rentrak @taran_adarsh
"Thoda has lo behen, usse aapke andar ka feminism kam nahi hojayega.",laugh a little sister. it wont reduce the feminist inside you.
@suhelseth @abdullah_omar @chetan_bhagat @rishibagree @rahulkanwal Aaj ka Man of the Match jointly Rahane/Mohit/Shikhar ko dena chahiye !,@suhelseth @abdullah_omar @chetan_bhagat @rishibagree @rahulkanwal Today's Man of the Match should be jointly given to Rahane/Mohit/Shikhar !
mujhe cold drink pini hai_hahaha :d,I want to drink cold drink hahaha :d
new york giants: game-by-game predictions for the 2nd half of the season http/URL,new york giants: game-by-game predictions for the 2nd half of the season http/URL
@Jagat___Janani Bas aapne itna socha hamare baare me.. yehi kaafi hai.. RT to moh maaya hai :),"@Jagat___Janani Even if you think about me this much, then it is enough .. RT is amterialistic illusion  :)"
@PoojaMissra Swachhe din !!,@Poojamissra clean days !!
@Tweepshikha mujhe laga tumhari pic hai,@Tweepshikha I think its your picture
Kutte ki duum kabhi seedhi nahin hoti. Shame on you @INCindia. #tripletalaq,"A dog's tail will always remain curled, and will never straighten. Shame on you @INCIndia #tripletalaq"
Simple Scenario hai Pakistan k lye :D Zimbabwe Ireland ko hara de ya barish ho jaye Pakistan atleast 3no match ... http://t.co/QS1Qh7EjLO,It is a simple scenario for Pakistan :D if Zimbabwe beats Ireland or it rains Pakistan atleast 3 number match ... http://t.co/QS1Qh7EjLO
bandro ka pinjra  .  .  . lol,cage of monkeys...lol
baki sab toh theek hai but wat the hell is this teri suwar ki ?  ?  ?  ?  !  !  !  !  !  :d :d ,d :)
@Atheist_Krishna @HathwalaThakur tere chutyapa se waisa hi asar hota hai saale.,# 
"@iamsonisinghal those are nice girls,for 'em  Mujhe na kisi city ke naam dikhayi dete hai, na sunai bas ek hi naam INDIA","@iamsonisinghal those are nice girls , for them, I don't see, listen, any name, but only one name ""India"" "
"Kumbh karan ki abb nind khuli "" aa gaye bhi jhut ki vakalat karne #Notebandi per kiya lollipop chuss rahe the Anna ? Ya abhi contract mila","""Kumbhkaran just got up"" here comes the lawyers of lie, Were you sucking the lolipop on demonetisation, Anna? Or did you just get the contract? "
kaha par ho app bhai ? jaldi aa bi jaw,Where are you brother? Come on come faster.
ok baby.. waise bhi yaha mein sabse zyada aapko bhaav deta aaya hu  @BinaKaheLunga,Ok baby.. anyway I had been valuing you the most on this..@BinaKaheLunga
@soniasharmasha1 acha 👍 by the way haar jeet game ka hissa hai .. jo si team acha khelti ha wohi jeet jati ...,"@soniasharmasha1 accha by the way win or loss is the part of the game..whoever plays well, wins"
Sir ji app ksy hoo???Hmlogo k apk flim k bauth din sa intyjar tha so..........Ap k film bajrangi bhaijan jarur dkhgy....We LOVE YOU.SALMAN Sir....,"Sir, how are you? We were waiting for your film since so long ... we will definitely see your fil bajrangi bhaijaan .... We love you Salman Sir.."
jaago grahak jaago @integrated_me,"wake up consumer, wake up. @integrated_me"
arre kya likha usne? Mujhe nahi dikh raha,Hey what did he write? I cant see it.
Hamara faisla hai ise Kala Pani ki saza di jaayehttps://twitter.com/ndtvindia/status/674091304901480448 …,This is my decision that he should be send to kala pani for punishment https://twitter.com/ndtvindia/status/674091304901480448 …
now y'all know all that halloween candy is gonna be on clearance tomorrow .  .  . you can save it for valentine's day :),now you all know that halloween candy is going to be on clearance tomorrow . . . you can save it for valentine's day :)
Rameez bhai zara bathroom me jakay rou len. Koi nahi dekhayga.,"Rameez brother, cry in the bathroom, nobody will see you."
"meri choice hi smart hai, bolo jaldi photos bhej rahe ho ya insta link...
Aise puch raha hai",my choice is smart. tell quickly if you are sendng the photos or the insta link
"@_taurus30 @SarahZaki11 Bachon Aj #MahaShivratri he17 Somwar Varat karne se acha PATI milta hai . Ye Suwami G Kehte hen , Muft ki Advice di he","@_taurus30 @SarahZaki11 Children today is #MahaShivratri. You will get a good husband if you fast for 17 mondays . Suwami ji says this , free advice"
"Sec66A ho ya na ho, Kejriwal to gaaliyan hi khayega! #Sec66A","Irrespective of Sec66A is there or not, people will abuse Kejriwal! #Sec66A"
"Ye 6 chhakke hame mat dikhao, big screen pe chala ke Yuvraj ko dikhao.","don't show us these 6 sixes, show yuvraj on the bigger screen."
Started again in Bangalore?shabaash,started again in bangalore? fantastic man. 
@twinitisha bohot zyada.. Neend hi nahi aayee kal raat,"@twinitisha too much, didn't get sleep the whole night."
"@Alllahdin Oh! Koi na, kab aayega?","@alllahdin oh!, no problem, when are you going to come? "
@ruchikokcha prateeksha bhi celeb hai kya?,@ruchikokcha is prateeksha a celebrity?
"tujhe kuch nahi pata, claim na kar.","you don't know anything , so don't claim anything."
#IndvsNZ dekhne se accha tha Teraa Surroor dekh lete,it would have been better had i watched teraa suroor instead of the #indvsnz match. 
@bizzarebhide bimaari failegi bhai dho le,"@bizzarebhide, go wash it dude, the illness might spread. "
"You're right I confused Arabic with Greek , that's the language I learned immediately after Greek , and all this happened 15+ years ago ! ~ M2K","you're right , i confused arabic with greek , that's the language i learned immediately after greek , and all this happened more than 15 years ago  "
sabse bakbaas was pin ball .,pinball was the worst out of all.
@iamGunjanGrunge tera phir bhi kuch nahi hona  @Barn_sparrow,"@iamGunjanGrunge, nothing good ain't happening to you, @Barn_sparrow."
"Aaj k bad newsAik boy k donkey ghar chorh kar bhag gaii ,,,,, Larhka donkey talash karny m nakaam ,,, Film =( talash )","bad news of the day, a donkey left a boy's house out of a sudden. the boy left out in search of the donkey but failed.( film talaash)"
#254 [ M2K ]: Welcome to the club [\\m/] bet your stories aren't as entertaining as mine ,)
"@Integrated_me yeh sab tweet karne ke kiye time hai, ek link ke liye nahi? ok then","@Integrated_me you have time to tweet all this, but can't give a link right? ok then. "
Kal FF chahiye to aaj pay kar dena.,pay me today if you need ff tommorrow.
#MSG2In505crOn200thDay @Gurmeetramrahim Thanku for Blessing ..... Good Morning Pita G Sewa Simrn parmarth ka Bal bksna ji,#MSG2In505crOn200thDay @Gurmeetramrahim thank you for blessing . good morning father Sewa Simrn parmarth ka Bal bksna ji
"#Software To Banaa Loge "" Par Bande US Kaise Bhejoge","software can be designed, but how do you send people to the us? "
"Kya aapke bacche aapki baat nahi sunte ? Unhe ye tasveer dikhaiye , dar ke maare aapki ek-ek baat sunne lagenge . https://t.co/KqP4ExOBPl","don't your kids listen to your words? show them this picture, they'll listen to you from then onwards. "
"Bastard wants proof from govt..

Bas Pakistan ke kandhe par rakh kar chala raha bandookhttps://twitter.com/abpnewstv/status/782870385708498944 …",bastard wants proof from the government. you are firing gun in a name of pakistan https://twitter.com/abpnewstv/status/782870385708498944 …
@RideTheDevil Well done.. ye @raggedtag jaise logo ki jagah jail me hi hai,@RideTheDevil well done. these people like @raggedtag deserve to be in jail
i'm working overtime to elect mitt .  50 radio appearances down the homestretch .  on huckabee national radio on friday .,i'm working overtime to elect mitt . i am having 50 radio appearances down the homestretch on huckabee national radio on friday .
@iPoonampandey bhai @HathwalaThakur dhokebaaz,@iPoonampandey brother @HathwalaThakur traitor.
"Komod par baithkar cigarette pi rahe ho, toh achha hagg rahe ho tum.","if you are smoking cigaratte on the toilet, then you are pooping good."
hahahahaha .  . so true .  .  .  .  i remember tetris,"hahahahaha, so truee, i do remember tetris. "
RT @TamalDas8 : PIB_India #UHF #RailBudget2015 speech of sureshpprabhu has come to an end .,rt @TamalDas8 : pbi_india #UHF #RailBudget2015 speech of sureshpprabhu has come to an end .
Kuch to hai tujhse #Rabada :P #IndvsSA,There is some #rabada with you #IndvsSA
Ye @MeetUunngLee bahot hi zyada darling hai.,@MeetUunngLee is really cute
"@imcomplicated__ roop suhana lagta hai, chaand purana lagta hai tere aage oh janam","@imcomplicated__ your appearance looks lovely, the moon looks older in front of you, my love. "
@abhishekmadan She is Bhabhi because tu mere bhai se Marry-hua-na?,"@abhishekmadan she is sister-in-lawi because you married to my brother,right?"
@narendramodi ne yahi to kaha ? congress me sabhi #blackmoney se naha raha the aur #Manmohansingh ji bachne ke liye raincoat pahne huwe the 0,"@narendramodi said that, in congress everyone was bathing in #blackmoney and #Manmohansingh was wearing raincoat to save himself."
@Ra_Bies Papa ne store room me rakhi hai chupa kar.. Dekhta hu,"@Ra_Bies father hid it in the store room somewhere, let me see the store. "
hello #salman #sir kya mujhe ek reply mila ga plzzzzzzzzzzz,"hello salman sir, can i get a reply please? "
mera first kiss to sunny leone ke poster ke saath tha :'(,my first kiss ever was with a poster of sunnyleone. 
@ProuddPakistani @iamwaqaryunus mohit n fir ek ko pavilion bheji ....,@ProuddPakistani @iamwaqaryunus mohit again sent pavilion to someone.
"Karpur gauram karunavtaaram Sansar saaram , bhujgendra haaram !! May lord shiva bless u all !! Har har mahadev #MahaShivratri","pure white like camphor, an incarnation of compassion,the essence of worldly existence, whose garland is the king of serpents, always dwelling inside the lotus of the heart. i bow to shiva and shakti together !! may lord shiva bless u all !! har har mahadev #mahashivratri"
"@PoojaMissra Tejaswini iss baar uski seat harega, Bolta hai jaat se upar koi nahi #NitishKaNakliVikas","@PoojaMissra tejaswini will loose seat this time, he said nothing is superior to religion #NitishKaNakliVikas"
@KajuKatli__ Pakistan ki watt lag gayi .,@KajuKatli__ Pakistan is screwed.
Aaj tak ye Bangladeshi uss run out ka badl le raha hai mujhse.https://twitter.com/Realbangladeshi/status/806715786991648770 …,bangladeshis are still taking revenge fof that run out from me.https://twitter.com/Realbangladeshi/status/806715786991648770 …
Achhai dikhai nahi deti.,don't see good these days. 
"are nahiiiiinnn!  poto hi sahi, kam se kam log dekh to pa rahe hain","nooo, the photo was good, atleast people are having a look at it. "
"supw ke marks ki wajah se hi toh xams mein phodta h guddu ,  pure 48 percent .  :p","guddu has done well in the exams because of supw marks, he has got 48 percent."
@TangDilTwister yaad mat dila :(,@TangDilTwister don't remind me please. 
@aajtak accha koi atankwadi hamla hone wala hai .... fool media,"@aajtak there's gonna be a terrorsit attack soon, fool the media. "
thank you to all of our parents&amp, guidance staff for our annual academic signing day on thursday !  i'll post photos soon !
@NehaT_ Gujarati loko ne pan bo taklif pade chhe Hindi lakhvama,@NehaT_ Gujarati People also have a lot of trouble in writing in hindi.
"@happysush31 @klpe pyar karne wale jite hai shan se, marte hai shan se ",@happysush31 @klpe lovers live with pride and die with pride
sundays in the sag is like a friday in idaho .  .  .  .  . boring as fuck !,"sundays in the sag is like a friday in idaho, boring as fuck "
"Sirf pair hi nahi, poora Bangladesh hawa mein hain. #IndvsBan","not just legs, but the whole bangladesh is in the sky. IndvsBan"
"@Alllahdin @ttrinadasgupta @ruchikokcha @retardedwriter haan usko untag kar do, magar hui mehengi badi sharab ke thodi thodi liya karo",@Alllahdin @ttrinadasgupta @ruchikokcha @retardedwriter yes untag him but take only a little bit of the expensive alcohol
@Tweepshikha woh bhi parosne wali koi chahiye,@Tweepshikha need someone to serve that too
"@Alllahdin @Ra_Bies Afzal hum sharminda hai, raat ko daaru mein kya peena hai?","@Alllahdin @Ra_Bies Afzal we are ashamed, what drink of alcohol should we drink at night?"
bhai  ye ladki hamare dosti ke beech phoont daalne ki soch rahi hai @LoKarDi_RT ayye kya re?,brother this girl is trying to divide us @LokarDi_RT
itni charbi h fir b thand lagti h terko :/,"so much fat, even then you feel cold"
"@KyaUkhaadLega maine jaan boojkar rakha tha, taaki tujh jaise log mujhe trol karein. Dekha badappan? :D","@KyaUkhaadLega mI kept it purposefully, so that people like you troll me. See the humility? "
II does not warrant you a re-exam . DUGC takes ( up ) your case and then decides whether or not you deserve one .,I do not give guarranty about your re-exam . DUGC will take up your case and then will decide whether or not you deserve one .
"ab uss bechari ladki ko tu aise bolega? Dil na tod yaar uska, bandi hot toh hai.","Now would you say that to the poor girl? Don't break her heart, she's hot anyways"
"Delhi metro mein khana mana hai, hilana nahi.","eating is banned in delhi metro, masturbating isn't."
@nainkatary aisa bhi karna padta hai kya?,do I have to do it this way also?
Bridge hi banwa lo na.. Ek baar ka.. Kissa hi khatamhttp://m.timesofindia.com/city/nagpur/haj-panel-seeks-rs25k-cr-for-buying-aircraft/amp_articleshow/59905977.cms …,construct a bridge. end of discussion.http://m.timesofindia.com/city/nagpur/haj-panel-seeks-rs25k-cr-for-buying-aircraft/amp_articleshow/59905977.cms
@someUSER : bhai kendriya vidyalaya se lagtey ho :),@someUSER: it seems you are from kendriya vidyalaya :)
"Hosh waalo ko khabar kya, marijuana ka cheez hai! #RememberingJagjitSingh","sane people don't know , what marijuana is !"
@enlightenedme_ tum mujhe sirf HAHAHAHA HUHUHUHU aur emoticons dene ke liye aate ho kya?,@enlightenedme_ do you only come to give me hahahaha  huhuhuhu and emoticons?
yaar yein guddu ke papa ke paas to lml vespa tha !  yein chetak kab le liya .,"dude, guddu's father had lml vespa! when did he buy chetak?"
@integrated_me Haaye! Itni zaheen-o-haseen se itni izzat afzaai. Is nacheez ko khud pe gumaan ho jayega :-),@integrated_me omg! I am getting so much respect from such a pretty lady. I will start feeling proud of myself.
"@Oinkoo bas koi itne paise de de, bech dunga","@Oinkoo only if someone gives me this much money, i will sell it"
@TheVacuumHead #GenuineKoschan tumhari aankhein hai ya meh khana?,@TheVacuumHead #Genuine koschan are thse your eyes or your pub?
#GST se #profit kise #GeneralPublic ko ya #Government ko.. @narendramodi @arunjaitley @aditi_tyagi @AmitShah,#GST through #profit whom to #GeneralPublic or to #Government  @narendramodi @arunjaitley @aditi_tyagi @AmitShah
agle episode mein kya guddu es baat ka badla lega  .  .  .  . intzaar mein agle episode k  .  .  . ting - tong  .  . ,-)
"O shobzi Jo shasha hai wohi bhateeza hai, aur so bhateeza hai woh hi shasha hai, aur jo shasha hai woh koi hai hi nahi. ","oh sir, the uncle is the nephew, and the nephew is the uncle and the uncle is no one"
Kamal Hassan hai aur Kamla Pasand hai. #AakThoo,Kamal is Hassan and Kamla is Pasand 
@YouDontKnowWho_ abe market me naya to sab whatsapp wale le jate hain. Yahi bacha hai :P,"@YouDontKnowWho_ dude everything new in the market is taken by whatsapp, this is what is left"
"Ban liya apna paigambar
Tar liya tu saat samandar
Phir bhi sookha mann ke andar
Kyun reh gaya?https://twitter.com/sardesairajdeep/status/700513526218010632 …","transformed to our prophet
you swam through the seven seas
even then their's dryness in the heart
why is it left https://twitter.com/sardesairajdeep/status/700513526218010632 …"
@bhatakti_atma Pakki dosti ka bhi koi havan hota hai.. to karwa do :) @witchybitchygal,is there any procedure from strong friendship...please do that :) @witchybitchygal
watching die hard for the 1st time with @someUSER &amp, @someUSER alan rickman makes this better than it already was .
"@PJ_CRACKER doosra passenger pyar mein hai bhai, laga hua hai baby shona naashta kiya baby ne?  etc","@PJ_CRACKER other passenger is in love brother, he's occupied in baby-darling, did you do breakfast etc"
Bhai.. Kese ho.. Aur intezaar nhi hota jaldi aao,brother how are you can't wait more come fast
"Tumhare tweets aur tum par toh waise bhi poora desh hasta hai, main bhi. https://twitter.com/vickylullaa/status/748121962757578752 …","the whole country  laughs on you and your tweets, even me https://twitter.com/vickylullaa/status/748121962757578752 …"
"slap shot: nash ,  back from injury ,  skates for davos: rick nash of the new york rangers returned to action in switzerland on tuesday . ","slap shot: nash ,  back from injury ,  skates for davos: rick nash of the new york rangers returned to action in switzerland on tuesday ."
@RoflGandhi_ @chavhanke LOL! Ye kahan se laaya hai!!,@RoflGandhi_ @chavhanke lol where did you bring this from
@Kahaanify @GauravXm maaf kar do bhai log,@Kahaanify @GauravXm forgive me brothers
@LEDtvn maine to pehle hi bola tha,@LEDtvn i had said this earlier
@dashhtweets Aakhir unme bhi hamara hi khoon hai :(,@dashhtweets at the end even they have our blood only
@Actor_Krishna congratulations on #Grahanam to be launched tomorrow ! ATB @BigPrintKarthik and Shobaban Babu . #PVPPictures .,@Actor_Krishna congratulations on grahanam to be launched tomorrow ! atb @BigPrintKarthik and Shobaban Babu . PVPPictures .
master ke saamne bheegi billi aur baad mein sher .  .  . bahut kamina hai ye baalak :p,"scared cat in front of the master and lion later, this kid is a bully"
Toss Hum Ne jita Hai Match Bhi Hum Hi Jitenge ! — watching Pakistan vs India,"we won toss, we will win the match too! watching pakistan vs india"
movie me banaunga is story pr  .  .  koi invstor hai toh bolo  ?  ?  ?,I'll make a movie on this story. Is anyone interested in investing?
main to office mein hun .  .  .  bas monitor ko tedha kiya hua hai .  .  camera se bachane ke liye,I am in the office. I have tilted the monitor to avoid the camera.
mi aata tula kaay te bolnar nahi aahe kadhich. Pan mi tasach vaagto jasa loka vagatat mazya barobar. Tula hi kalnaar lavkarach :),"I’m not gonna nag you with this anymore, however, I behave with people how they behave with me. You’re just going to have to understand. *sarcastic smiley face*"
@Ra_Bies trump chacha jitt gayya saada @heisenjit,@Ra_Bies our uncle trump has won@heisenjit
"barabar, isse balance pata hai. Tere paas hai 2 ladkiyon ke saath photo? Jahan tiu Bond lag raha? Nahi na?","right, he knows the balance. do you have a picture with two girls in which you are looking bond? no, right? "
@KyaUkhaadLega bahuraani best hai,@KyaUkhaadLega daughter-in-law is the best.
Ghar me shaadi hogihttps://twitter.com/MarketWatch/status/763660088812986368 …,There will be a marriage in the house. https://twitter.com/MarketWatch/status/763660088812986368 …
@LEDtvn kitna rude ho rahi hai..,@LEDtvn you are being very rude.
you cracked me up in a boring meeting :d .  . wait cracked no no broke no no cracked me up sahi hai na ?  !  ,)
3 रन पर 3 बॉल..वेस्टइंडीज़ वालों बांग्लादेश की नकल करो।,"3 runs in 3 balls. west Indies, copy bangladesh."
@Shakti_Shetty bhai Shakti ek reply mujhe bhi de,"@Shakti_Shetty shakti bro, reply to me as well"
hehehe .  .  . lol .  .  . purane zakham tazaa kar diye .  .  . 2003 board exam k results yaad dila diye .  .  .  ,-p
Skil india to tab hoga jab india rahega modi g. Kanhi seej fayar kahi isi. Naksal waad. Jai hind.,"mr. modi, india will be skilled if india will exist. bullets are fired from somewhere and on the other side there are naxals. "
You should have taken a naked or half naked pic of him and share it on his fb wall . :),you should have taken a naked or half naked picture of him and share it on his facebook wall . 
match ke bahane uncle ji bhi sher ho gaye .  .  .  .  !  !,uncle has become lion beause of match.
@huh_watnow Apno ko invite nahi.. yaad kya jaata hai.. woh aa jate hai,"@huh_watnow we don't invite family, we remember them and they come."
jiyo anna .  .  . dusre gandhi .  . ab to bhrashtachario ki shaamat ayi,anna live long.you are the second gandhi. now corruptionists are dead.
RT @ArvindKejriwal : U must read this . Washington Post on Delhi's mohalla clinics https://t.co/DDAxgdbUAD,rt @ArvindKejriwal : u must read this washington's post on delhi's mohalla clinics https://t.co/DDAxgdbUAD
Bajrangbali ka saath Bajrangi ke pas ?rkho viswas ?puri hogi aap ki har aas???????!,"bajrangi has support of bajarangbali. if you believe in him, your all wishes will come true."
@Miss_Ankiita Apni ek pic bhejo na :*,@Miss_Ankita send your one photo.
thats mauke pe chauka ... now no more mauka mauka ads :p #indvssa #cwc15,that is like hitting four at the right opportunity. now no more ads about opportunity. #indvssa #cwc15
@jiteshpillaai khara kaay vaatla the bolley mi,@jiteshpillaai i said what i felt was correct.
astrology numerology now host z .  starman talks about the upcoming mercury retrograde that begins november 6th - .  .  .  http/URL,astrology numerology now host z . starman talks about the upcoming mercury retrograde that begins on november 6th -  http/URL
@RoyalThough baaraat me aayi h kya . Kis baat ka award . Ek toh NRI upar se award ? Chal bhaag,@RoyalThough has come in the marriage procession. you want awar for which thing? you already are nri and now you also want award? get lost.
What if this is a false confession !!. http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/37410461.jpg,what if this is a false confession !!. http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/37410461.jpg
"#Diwali kisi ko bolo ke nuksaan hai aise karne se patake mat jalao "" religion beech mein aate hai "" sab zero ho jaata hai",#Diwali tell everyone that burning crackers causes loss. religion come in between and everything else stops to matter. 
Hair dye ki baat kar raha hai.https://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/11077484832 …,he is talking about hair dye.https://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/11077484832 …
sharma ji kya peet rahe hai apne lal ko .  lolz .,"man, just watch mister sharma go at it with his ‘lal’"
@Alllahdin lage raho!,@Alllahdin keep going!
"Guddu, Oh Darling Yeh Hai India, Anjaam, Hum Tumhare Hai Sanam.","guddu, oh darling this is india, result, i am yours dear."
Tu mujhe jawab mat de bas.,you don't give me answers that's it
me to ek week ke baad work pe jaunga :(,i am only coming to work after a week
Iss baar 12 chakke padenge.,this time we'll see 12 sixes
amit ji & shaan are sad  .  . guddu class ke bahar ghum ke aayega,amit ji and shaan are sad. guddu will wander outside the class.
Iska bhi wohi haal haihttps://twitter.com/Stupidosaur/status/661240668820377600 …,he is also in the sme situation. https://twitter.com/Stupidosaur/status/661240668820377600
PIB_India #UHF Railway is a unique integrator of India : sureshpprabhu #RailBudget2015,pib_india #UHF railway is a unique integrator of India : sureshpprabhu #RailBudget2015
anna ke kharaab din aa gaye . is gaddar ka count down shuru ho chuka hai .,the bad days of anna are here. the count down has begun of this traitor.
Delhi me sab peeke hi gaadi chalate hai kya?,does everyone drink and drive in Delhi ?
@Alllahdin Aaja yaar phir mumbai :(,"@Alllahdin come to mumbai again, friend."
@ChamkeeliTrippy shukriya hai ji,@ChamkeeliTrippy thank you.
me to batminton khelne chli jti ti ese :v,i used to go to play badminton like this.
#respect #aus #playlikeawinner .  .  .  baki ap to india ka liye respect na ke barabar hi reh gyi hai,#respect #aus #playlikeawinner . now the respect about india has vanished.
@hitennarendra ye dhaniya wali baat dil ko choo gayi :),@hitennarendra this thoing about coriander has touched my heart.
yaar guddu bilkul bachpan ki yaade ttro-taaza kr deta hai  .  .  missing my childhood .  .  .  :(,"guddu dear, these childhood memories really freshen up the mood. i miss those times."
"@sayshardik haan! @Ra_Bies iska pub bahot killer hai bro, apan saath mein jayenge free ki daaru peene","@sayshardik yes! @Ra_Bies his pub is killer brother, we will go together to drink alcohol for free."
Bachhe hai ya pille?https://twitter.com/Fuljhadii/status/667985246499966976 …,are the kids or puppies? https://twitter.com/Fuljhadii/status/667985246499966976 …
"Digvijay 'Bhow Bhow' Singh 

#CelebMiddleNames",digvijay 'bhow bhow' singh
tu roj yeh karta hai kya?  @drpoonam,do you do this always? @drpoonam
I love u.modi sir jankibhi jarurat ho to mang lena haste haste.dedege aap ka subh sintak,"i love you, modi sir. even if you need my life, i will give it to you happily. your well wisher."
"@imcomplicated__ Kya kya jatan karte hai, tumhe kya pata?",@imcomplicated__ you don't know waht we preserve.
"@ek_samosa_dena itna bharosa nahi raha hai ab team par, abhi bhi haar sakte hai",@ek_samosa_dena now i don't have trust in the team that much. now also we can lose.
Hii bhai kahan ho aap ..,"hi brother, where are you?"
* Kohli and Dhawan crying * Dhoni : Kya hua ? Kohli : Yaar we just asked Raina's saalis to return shoes . They said #WontGiveItBack,* kohli and dhawan are crying * dhoni : what happened? kohli : dear we just asked raina's sister in laws to return the shoes. they said #WontGiveItBack
"@twinitisha chalega, kaisi bhi banao","@twinitisha works, make it anyhow."
Inke ghar par ab tak theek se bijli ya pani nahi aaya hai... Lo kar lo baat.https://twitter.com/I_m_bedman/status/854656719510683648 …,"there is no proper electricity or water in their home, now you talk. https://twitter.com/I_m_bedman/status/854656719510683648 …"
Paise nahi hai. ATM se paise nikalu ki nahi @narendramodi sir?,i am out of money. should i withdraw some from the atm Mr @narendralodi
Hai na? Paap chadhega,i know right? a sinner.
Agar koi #SurgicalStrike ka credit Leta hai to Jawano ki Maut ka bhi credit Lena chahiye #BadlaLo,if someone is taking credit of the #SurgicalStrike then he should also take credit for the deaths of our soldiers #BadlaLo
Bhai jaan kuch kami si lag rahi h... Pata nai kyun.....,brother i don't know why but there is something missing.
Insan ki koi cast nahi hoti ji ..aj dont wory,don't worry. humans don't have cast.
har har maha dev .  .  dil ke sachche log hai  .  .  is gau wale .  .  .  j'ai ho,everyone is lord shiva. the people of this town are true from heart. salute.
@c_aashish hum bhi satire likhte hain kabhi kabhi *breaks bangles* @GappistanRadio,@c_aashish i also write satire sometimes. *breaks bangles* @GappistanRadio
Hindu kaam km krte h or dhapli jyada bjate h ... baaki log shanti se apna kaam kr jate h #Gharwapsi #MahaShivratri @RSS4India,hindus do less work and play more tambourine. rest of the people do their tasks calmly. #Gharwapsi #MahaShivratri @RSS4India
@someUSER you bet !  and @someUSER &amp, i will have best seats in the house on mon .
"RT @INCIndia : Shri Modi in a tweet on 31.3.2014 said , "" Italian marines mercilessly killed our fishermen . If Madam is so ' patriotic ' can she","rt @INCIndia : mr. modi in a tweet on 31.3.2014 said , "" italian marines mercilessly killed our fishermen . if madam is so ' patriotic ' can she"
This #Diwali celebrate with #Notebandi phus phus Anar & #GST kaala saanp,this #Diwali celebrate with #Notebandi thatch thatch pomegranade and #GST black snake.
"@someUSER i know ,  it went from way too far off to here .  i'll see iupui at maryland on jan 1 ,  just excited to go back to baltimore lol","@someUSER i know ,  it went from way too far off to here .  i'll see iupui at maryland on january 1,  just excited to go back to baltimore laughing out loud."
samajh nahi aaye to pogo dekhna jaake  @HathwalaThakur @CatWomaniyapic.twitter.com/XMwnwPhuDH,g and watch pogo if you don't understand this @HathwalaThakur @CatWomaniyapic.twitter.com/XMwnwPhuDH
LOL LOL Jasmines toh aaj bhi hongi bas @Alllahdin ab akela nahi raha. @retardedwriter,"laughing out loud. even today,  many jasmines will be there @Alllahdin is not alone now. @retardedwriter"
Sanju bhai. Kem chho?,"sanju brother, how are you?"
@aanchalator lag raha tha. Mujhe galti se bhi late hi call kiya gaya,you were looking like @aanchalator. they called me late by mistake.
"He: Kyu paisa paisa karti hai kyu paise petu marti hai?
She: Mumbai ki na Dilli walon ki, Pinky haipaise walon ki.
#Crie",he: you always talk about money. why are you so desperate for money?she: pinky belongs to rich people and not to delhi or mumbai people.
Mujhko yaad sataaye teri.. Haayee haayee.. Yaad sataye teri,i miss you.
RT @TrollKejri : Khansi ka ilaaj kara rha tha https://t.co/fepNwWE9op,rt @TrollKejri : i was treating my cough. https://t.co/fepNwWE9op
@zoomphatak audio kharab hai,@zoomphatak audio is bad.
Yeh ho chuka hai' jokes pe bhi ab aap 'yeh ho chuka hai' bol sakte ho.,you can say 'this is done.' on the jokes of 'this is done.'
@WatDaDuck_ Bhai bade din baad dikhe ho.. Aapke darshan ko taras gaye the hum,@WatDaDuck_ brother i am seeing you after a long time. i was desperate to meet you.
@Sarcaism @DrAnujsingh1505 btatiye apni kuch kahani jungle raj ki. #JunglerajEpisode2,@Sarcaism @DrAnujsingh1505 tell some story of yours about jungle. #JunglerajEpisode2
YE #Notebandi se aam Kisan & Public ko line me laga k tabah kiya ! Ab #IncomeTaxwale nirdosh logo ko BHI notice bhej k tang kar RAHE ???,"by this #Notebandi, the common man and farmers are destroyed by standng in queue ! now,#IncomeTax people are irritating innocent people by sending them notice."
@Atheist_Krishna lado mat.. sabke liye hai hamare paas @DSatanHunterpic.twitter.com/zejrR0L1oa,@Atheist_Krishna don't fight. we have this for everyone @DSatanHunterpic.twitter.com/zejrR0L1oa. twitter . com /30 gdFJuiTT
Rahul Gandhi @coolfunnytshirt pehen k kisi Laughter club me Jokes sunane gaye hai . Log unhe dekh ke hi has dete hai . #WhereIsRahul,rahul gandhi is telling jokes at some laughter club wearing @coolfunnytshirt. people are laughing just by looking at him . #WhereIsRahul
oyeeeee Light Aaaagai ... pehli baar light aane ki itni khushi hui hai BC #INDvsSA,"hey, the light has come. i am first time so delighted by the light #INDvsSA"
"Ab tak not sure, Fri ya Sat. Kal ghar pahonch kar shaam tak update karta hu",not sure yet whether friday or saturday. i will update you till tomorrow evening when i will reach home.
"She: Tu na ja mere baadshah ek vaade ke liye ek vaada tod ke
He: Main wapas aaunga, jaaraha hu main yaha chaddi apni chhod ke","she: don't go my badshah by breaking one promise for another promise. he: i will come back,  i am leaving my underwear here."
@farziketweet Bhai tujhe challenge kar rahi hai ye @Sly_Chokri,@farziketweet brother she is challenging you. @Sly_Chokri
"Nafrat karte hai ek dusre se aur group ka naam rakhenge ""Family"".","even though thwy hate each other, the name of their group is ""family""."
@AmitShah_BJP Nitish jee ko harne se ab khud Nitish jee bhi nahi rok sakte  #ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao,@AmitShah_BJP even mr. nitish can't stop himself from failure. #ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao
@iamGunjanGrunge Hahaha.. Thanks bhai,@iamGunjanGrunge hahaha.. thank you brother.
@someUSER happy 16th birthday rella  .  get drunk for me frl  .  enjoy your day &amp, wish you many more  !
paise dad ke jeb se hi nikley  !,money were found in father's pocket only.
#WhereIsRahul trending @1 Rahul-Accha ji aaj meri badi yaad aa rahi hai ... Election k time to Rahul ne khayi CandyBar abki baar ModiSarkar ..,"#WhereIsRahul trending @1 rahul- oh nice.  you all are remembering me now. at the time of election everyone was like, ' rahul has eaten candybar, this time modi government."
@Bacardidevi kya maam pls aisi baate na kare.. Hum koi celeb veleb nahi hai.. Bas yaha TP kar rahe hai :) @lady_gabbar,@Bacardidevi what ma'am? please don't say such things. we are not a celeb. we are just passing time here. @lady_gabbar
@Atheist_Krishna Hoshiyaar Chaddi .. Ruk ja.. thodi bheed kam ho jaane de.. ekdum dhamaka hone wala hai,"@Atheist_Krishna smarty pants, stop. just let the chaos go in some time, there is going to blast."
"*Rahul Gandhi to speak on Net Neutrality today*

Founders of Internet: hey bhagwaan.. Ye din dikhane se pehle hume utha kyu nahi liya",*rahul gandhi to speak on net neutrality today* founders of internet: oh god. why didn't to pick us up before we saw this.
@Prachi_licious kashala? Ghari parat tu? Lagna sampla?,@Prachi_licious why? are you home? has wedding done?
tu aur bhai ki line kaat de  @huh_watnow,you cut the line of brother @huh_watnow
Pakistani ' s khushi is directly propotional to India's defeat ☺ 😀 SA walo aj na phorne dena inko phatake 😉😬 #CWC15 #IndvsSA,pakistani's khushi is directly propotional to india's defeat.today let them burst the crackers #CWC15 #IndvsSA
@chatpatidiary to kahan sar maarne se sar par nahi lagti?,@chatpatidiary then from where when beated doesn't harm head?
haha tu bhi hai saath mein! Super dance bhai! @ROFLaaLa haan Disha se mangwaya,haha. you are also with them! brother it's superdance. @ROFLaaLa yes disha has ordered this.
raat ko kyu dara rahi ho?,why are you scaring me in the night?
kasli chaavat aahes gat tu :(,you are so mischievous.
@dna @AnushkaSharma @NayandipRakshit yeh banda bahut kismat wala he #Sultan,@dna @AnushkaSharma @NayandipRakshit this man is very lucky#Sultan
@zoomphatak :=D Ye laga chauka!,@zoomphatak this is four!
"@ArvindKejriwal ji car toh din rat chori ""hogai atleast Sar-Kar toh smabhal ke rakhna. #delhipollution",@ArvindKejriwal your car got stolen in the day time now at least take care of the government #delhipollution
GST to aagaya lekin neend abhi bhi nahi aani.,gst has come but now also sleep won't come.
"egypt's morsi gets red carpet welcome in iran: tehran ,  aug 29: egypt's mohamed morsi is in iran for the first visit .  .  .  http/URL","egypt's morsi gets red carpet welcome in iran: tehran,  aug 29: egypt's mohamed morsi is in iran for the first visit. http/URL"
@PagluPiggu haha.. unse kehdo jaa kar pogo dekhe,@PagluPiggu haha. tell him to go and watch pogo.
"RT @hankypanty : #SultanTeaser is quite cool . Sallu as a North Indian . With swag . And , moonch . Basically , Chulbul Pandey in a chaddi . https :","rt @hankypanty : #Sultanteaser is quite cool. sallu as a north indian with swag and mustache. basically , chulbul pandey in underwear. https :"
ye lo...aapki murad poori kar dete hain :)pic.twitter.com/RUEggEJTJF,keep this. this will fulfill your wish. pic.twitter.com/RUEggEJTJF
@hitennarendra bwahahaa .. Waqt hote hi shuru ho jaana,@hitennarendra haha. get start on time.
"just got bel ami from the redbox .  .  .  . so that is what i will watching tonight ,  or tomorrow . ",just got bel ami from the redbo. so that is what i will be watching tonight or tomorrow .
"@Gurmeetramrahim #BlockBusterMSG PitaJi , Aap Ko Bhi Mahashivratri ki Lakh Crore Badhai , Thank You PitaJi , Hame Apni Sharan Me hi Rakhna","@Gurmeetramrahim #BlockBusterMSG father, thousands of wishes of mahashivratri to you too, thank you father, keep me in your shelter."
@retardedwriter chhodiye Jai Mata di boliye,@retardedwriter let it go. say hail mother goddess.
LOL! Yaar mujhe ek Neha mil jaaye bas.,laughing out loud! dear i wish to get a girl like neha.
@Atheist_Krishna meri bhi karde aisi pic photoshop,@Atheist_Krishna photoshop my picture like this.
@virendra1602 Kisi ne Rajya Sabha main Ye bola hai ... :),@virendra1602 someone said this in council of states.
Pakis lost because it's roza. Warna ye toh koi bhi bade competition mein India ke saath kabhi nahi haari hai.  #INDvPAK,Pakistan lost because it's roza. otherwise they have never lost in front of india in any big competition.  #INDvPAK
@BUnlimted Tum aaye uske khwaabo me,@BUnlimted you came in her dreams.
@BabaFirki tu daaru pina chaalu kar diya? :-O,@BabaFirki did you start drinking alcohol?
"Proud To Be An INDIAN Aaj Hamari Team Ne Ek Aurat Ki Izzat Bacha Li ( Qundeel Baloch ) is Khatiya Ko Dekne Se Accha Hai , Patake Fode #IndvsPak",proud to be an indian. today our team has saved honor of a woman ( Qundeel Baloch ) it is better to burst crackers than seeing this bed.#IndvsPak
@lady_gabbar We get it maatey. Chini kum. Bhagwan ka lakh lakh sugar hai.,@lady_gabbar we get it mother. sugar less. thank god. 
free download !  adam freeland - morning sun (endymion bootleg) !  click on the link below &amp, like endymion on facebook !  http/URL
"Shi shi shi bahot hi gandi soch rakhti hai aisa sochne wali ladkiyan, inhe burkha pehna kar ghar mein hi rakhna chaiye. Thu on society.","yuck yuck yuck. the girls who think like this have really bad perspective, they should be kept in the home wearing hijab. spit on society."
sayed app busy ho..kohi bat nhi hum samj te he,may be you were busy. it is okay. i understand.
Yeh story suni hui lagti hai http://www.opindia.com/2015/06/the-sordid-tales-of-a-new-delhi-television-company/ … #Fiction #UnReal #Fakinghttps://twitter.com/Sanju_Verma_/status/768083388171362305 …,i think i have heard this story before. http://www.opindia.com/2015/06/the-sordid-tales-of-a-new-delhi-television-company/ … #Fiction #UnReal #Fakinghttps://twitter.com/Sanju_Verma_/status/768083388171362305 …
"abe ye format bohot purana ho chuka hai.. aur ise compare karna nahi kehte, read it again..","this format is really old and this is not called comparision, read it again."
@Miss_Ankiita ab tune to haan bola nahi,@Miss_Ankiita you didn't say yes.
@MeetUunngLee Ye toh hai,@MeetUunngLee this is it.
waise ek zamaane mein Amita Bachhan bhi the.,anyway at some time amita bacchan was there.
" "" obma fails 2unite us ,  he divides us by sex ,  color , party , age ,  wealth nevada's 1st latino governor votes early for romney ,  predicts gop win "" "," obma fails to unite us,  he divides us by sex , color , party , age ,  wealth. nevada's 1st latino governor votes early for romney , predicts gop win. "
#WhereIsRahul is trending No 1 on twitter worldwide . Common Rahul ab toh aa zao . Tumhe 191 mulko ke log dhoondh rahe hain,"#WhereIsRahul is trending No 1 on twitter worldwide . come on rahul, at least come now. people from 191 regions are looking for you."
Tumhari maarne ke liye. https://twitter.com/Leeshbombb/status/703589387326648320 …,to beat you. https://twitter.com/Leeshbombb/status/703589387326648320 …
@Alllahdin kyaaa? @akhil_bits ye nahi bol sakta aise </3,@Alllahdin what? @akhil_bits i can't say it like this.
kuch bhi ho jaaye .  .  .  uss pakistan wale ke pataakhe nahi footne chaiye aaj  !  !,let anything happen. but today pakistanis should not burst crackers.
"Know your enemy.
Kuch baaton se maante hai aur kuch sirf laaton se.",know your enemy. some people understand by talking and some by beating.
"remember cupid at convo last year with the bomb candy bar ?  ?  if you liked that ,  you'll love next tuesday's tr http/URL","remember cupid at convocation last year with the bomb candy bar? if you liked that, you'll love next tuesday's tr http/URL"
RT @RanaAyyub : Hum saath saath hain #AugustaWestland https://t.co/ziv5JNgnDA,rt @RanaAyyub : we are togrther. #AugustaWestland https://t.co/ziv5JNgnDA
"I liked a @YouTube video from @zeemusiccompany https://t.co/vuy2mRQtxX Yeh Fitoor Mera | Fitoor | Aditya Roy Kapur , Katrina Kaif |","i liked a @YouTube video from @zeemusiccompany https://t.co/vuy2mRQtxX this madness of mine | madness | aditya roy kapur , katrina kaif |"
@Mocksterr sab ke liye nahi hai :-/ @humasqureshi,@Mocksterr it is not for everyone @humasqureshi
"RT @zarmenakhan3 : Aaj k bad newsAik boy k donkey ghar chorh kar bhag gaii ,,,,, Larhka donkey talash karny m nakaam ,,, Film =( talash )",rt @zarmenakhan3  todays' bad nwes is a boy's donkey run away from home. that boy was unable to find that donkey. Film =( search )
ye kab samjhega @JhaSanjay,when will he understand? @JhaSanjay
"Pakistan ki didi, ghar ki na ghat kihttps://twitter.com/BDUTT/status/885545600808366082 …",Pakistan's girl doesn't belong to anywhere.https://twitter.com/BDUTT/status/885545600808366082 …
"@ArvindKejriwal ""sir kuch dino baad X-Mus aur NewYear eve hai..Abhi se patake ban kr ""do last moment me Punjab Haryana ko kosna .. #SupremeCourtOfIndia #CJI #DelhiSmog #CrackerBan #AvoidFoggyNewYearInDelhi #delhipollution","@ArvindKejriwal sir there is christmas and new year's eve coming in next few days, ban the crackers now. what in punjas haryana in the last momend . #SupremeCourtOfIndia #CJI #DelhiSmog #CrackerBan #AvoidFoggyNewYearInDelhi #delhipollution"
Satya vachan #Satya vachan ......... ( Y ) Salute and hats off Mithun daa ... In your words .... KYA BAAT KYA BAAT KYA ... http://t.co/V7EPdmEe6H,"true promise #Satya vachan.( y ) salute and hats off mithun daa . in your words , what news what news what newshttp://t.co/V7EPdmEe6H"
"kabhi last 9999999 game tak nahi ja seke , mario repeat hota tha bhut baar:-d",they could never reach the last 9999999 game. mario used to get repeated all the time.
@Psilosophy and veg kabab paranthe?,@Psilosophy and veg kebab bread?
watching this drew peterson movie on lifetime just to spark conversation in miss mapes class tomorrow @someUSER @someUSER,watching this drew peterson movie on lifetime just to spark conversation in miss mapes class tomorrow @someUSER @someUSER
Pranav Dhanawade is on steroids.,pranav dhanawade is on steroids.
"Kasam se ! aisa imandari ka virus felayenge , bahut mann hai sarkari office mein logon ko kaam karte dekhne ka .. http://t.co/xDPeKXIhIY","i swear! we will spread the virus of honesty, i really wish to see people in the government office actuall working http://t.co/xDPeKXIhIY"
anushka virat ka 1 run dekhne k liye india se sydney tak chali aayi .  .  .  this is what true luv is :p,anushka went to sydney to watch virat's 1 run. this is what true love is
@Champ_Nikk Jaag utha hai Bihar..Abki baar Modi sarkaar  #GoodByeNitishKumar,@Champ_Nikk bihar has woken up. this time modi government.#GoodByeNitishKumar
@Nomadic_Soul_ to kya hua? Hermione granger bhi bachi hi hai,@Nomadic_Soul_ so what? hermione granger is too a kid
"accha i should sleep , kaal office hai :(","ok then i should go to sleep, i have office tomorrow."
mobarak ied mobarak ??,happy eid.
"happy birthday mom !  the sun is shining bright today :) .  i miss you always .  love ,  daniela  "" rella ""  lol xo http/URL","happy birthday mother! the sun is shining bright today. i miss you always .  love ,  daniela  "" rella ""  laughing out loud http/URL"
"saara suspense khatam ho jaata tha  ,  cassette laga kar .  .  .  .  poppat .  .  .  .  . ",all the suspense vanishes after attaching cassatte. 
@c_aashish right left. Sab baari baari se bajate hain.,@c_aashish right left. everyone will play turn by turn.
"@Ra_Bies kisi nazar ko tera intezaar aaj bhi hai, kahan ho tum ke ye dil bekarar aaj bhi hai #YesImDrunk",@Ra_Bies some vision has your wait. where are you? this heart is desperate today.#YesImDrunk
Waiting bhai.. Aur kitna intezar karoyege,waiting brother. how much more will you make me wait.
Shit Yaar ... clean sweep nahi kar paya- AK .. #AAPSweep #AAPStorm #DelhiDecides #dillikiski,shit dear. i couldn't sweep clean.- AK#AAPSweep #AAPStorm #DelhiDecides #dillikiski
Listening to @Rishiji https://t.co/CtcvAvAbdk #HappyMahaShivratri Mahashivratri ki hardik shubhkaamnaye !,listening to @Rishiji https://t.co/CtcvAvAbdk #HappyMahaShivratri happy mahashivratri !
hehehehe mai hamesa yhi krta tha  .  .  . hats off faisal bhai  .  .  . :),hehehehei used to this all the time. hats off faisal brother.
yaar humare school mein monitor ya ache bache ko chalk lane send karte the jo 2 mins mein aa jate the .  .  .,dear in our school teachers used to send monitor or some good kid to bring chalks and they used to come in 2 minutes.
PYAR KE LIYE JEENA PYAR KE LIYE MARNA!,"live for love , die for love."
"""Yahan roz logo ki maut ho rahi hai, aur hamare adharniye pradhan mantri waha show me jaake mazaak kar rahe hai yehi to scam hai"" - Kejruhttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/799983561793077248 …",here people are dying daily and our respected prime minister is joking in the show. this is a scam - Kejru https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/799983561793077248
"Shobha De, Jaane De, Marne De.","Shobha De, let it go, let it die."
.@JhaSanjay Rahul Gandhi is on Do-   pe,@JhaSanjay rahul gandhi is on do.
@Bhoolwerine what happened? mujhe to abhi koi tweet dikha nahi,@Bhoolwerine what happened? i do not see any tweet now.
@tweeting_pal pyaar se log mujhe nav bulate hai,@tweeting_pal people call me nav lovingly.
@Bunny0_o lol dhyaan se dekho pinned tweets change hoti hai,@Bunny0_o laughing out loud.look carefully. pinned tweets keep changing.
"@someUSER hi ashley ,  my country , south korea like the us will be the presidential election on december 19 ^^","@someUSER hi ashley, my country, south korea like the us will be the presidential election on december 19."
"Constipated: aati nahi aati nahi aati nahi

Ravish: Jaati nahi Jaati nahi Jaati nahi

 #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar","Constipated: doesn't come doesn't come doesn't come. ravish: didn't win didn't win didn't win. 
 #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar"
@akshaykanitkar HAHA! Aakhir koi card jo sach mein kaam aaya bhai!,@akshaykanitkar haha! finally a card which really came in use.
Ye bhaisaab kisi aur chhed se nikle hai.https://twitter.com/afc_mercury/status/882490633549619200 …,this person has come from some different hole.https://twitter.com/afc_mercury/status/882490633549619200 …
@amreekandesi Sir ji bike se jaoge toh Hamet pehen ke jaana.,@amreekandesi sir wear helmet if you are going on bike.
4 baj gaye bhaijan bhaijan ji :-* <3,it is 4'o clock brother.
"New York Times. Lol.
Khudki naiyya jo doob ragi hai usse sambhaal lo bhai.https://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/844979794932465664 …","new york times. laughing out loud.  brother save your drowning ship .https://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/844979794932465664 …
"
Kya nawaz bhai kaisi team bheji hai ? World cup hai ya mazaak ! #IndvsPak #PakvsInd http://t.co/37pT8WfjR0,you have sent really bad team nawaz brother. is this world cup or a joke! #IndvsPak #PakvsInd http://t.co/37pT8WfjR0
@LoKarDi_RT yeh aap ka badappan hai #respect,@LoKarDi_RT this is your maturity.#respect
@huh_watnow Abhi yehi banaya hai..,@huh_watnow now only this is made.
HAARNA NAHI HAI MITHAAAAA.,losing is not sweet.
"@Lovemymessi accha , jore jore hasho","@Lovemymessi okay, laugh out loud."
RT @probir2011 : Wooohooo the Runmachine @imVkohli bhaiya Aaj Sab ko chup karadiya ☺ Fantastic 50 🏆 #BleedBlue #IndvsPak #ICCWorldT20 https://t…,rt @probir2011 : wooohooo the runmachine @imVkohli brother has shut everyone's mouth. fantastic 50#BleedBlue #IndvsPak #ICCWorldT20 https://t…
bhai 500 ka naya note nikla hai.. @MrMrRajneesh,brother the new note of 500 is out. @MrMrRajneesh
Haath kis wajah se toota se .. ye gopniya hai,the reason for breaking of the hand is a secret.
"Rajiv Gandhi ne apni will nahin ki thi. Isliye 2014 tak cheezen unki maa, biwi aur bachchon ke naam ho rahi thi #RememberingRajiv","rajiv gandhi hasn't written his will. that is why till 2014 everything he belogs was given to his mother, wife, and his kids.#RememberingRajiv"
abp ka bachha hogya kya :,abp has a kid.
@dan1shmemon abbe tu trend horaha hai,@dan1shmemon you are a trend now.
salman sir apke being human trust ki small cities me bhi requirement hai ..pls. jitni jyada ho sake utne logo ke madad kejiye....and BAJRANGI BHAIJAAN Ki JAI HO.,"salman sir the small town have the reqirement of your 'being human' trust. please, help them as much as possible. and bajrangi brothe may win."
yaha sab mental hai.. ok lage raho yaro,"everyone is mental here. okay, keep going."
dost ke baal katwane use ladkiyo wale saloon me le aaya.. aaj to mast kata iska 500 rs ka pic.twitter.com/iq4EqiYMx2,he brought his friend today to a women's salon for haircut. he had to pay 500.twitter.com/iq4EqiYMx2
@lady_naarad Kitni hasti hai. Phempde phat jaayenge.,@lady_naarad you laugh so much. your lungs will burst.
"kash hame bhi aise  "" maa ""  milti . ",wish i got a mother like her.
maazya saathi yeu shakat nahi tu itthe Archi?,you can't come here for me archi.
"bade intellectual log hai yaar, aapke level par aakar baat karte hai ye.",they are so intellectual people. they talk to you according to your level.
"Hum to chhote aadmi hai ji. Thanks for reply, warna aap to auron ko block karti hain ;) https://twitter.com/Rohinisgh/status/695826047854444544 …","i am a small guy.thank you for reply, otherwise you block other people.https://twitter.com/Rohinisgh/status/695826047854444544 …"
Waise bhi achievement to aapki koi hai nahi #GST #Demonetisation #petrolpricehike #Unemployment,anyway you have no achievement.  #GST #Demonetisation #petrolpricehike #Unemployment
"daye UP "" Punjab "" Goa aur Uttrakhand election ... #BringBackMahi #Dhoni","left uttarpradesh, punjab, goa and uttrakhand election. #BringBackMahi #Dhoni"
"Modi raj me public line me lag ke khub maze kat rahi hai Free ""data sasti 2 wheelar aage dekho aur kya? #bs3 #jioprime #DeMonetisation #GST","public are standing in queue in modi government. free data, cheap two wheeler look beyond  ? #bs3 #jioprime #DeMonetisation #GST"
Bhaibye Gurgaon Hai. https://twitter.com/DaOriginalSinna/status/897080313477595137 …,"brother, bye. this is gurgaon. https://twitter.com/DaOriginalSinna/status/897080313477595137 …"
Jab punjaban apni pe aati hai to ye hota hai. #IndvAus,when a punjabi girl shows her true colours then this happens.#IndvAus
"Sir @spgrpgorakhpur koi bhool chuk hogayi hobtoh maafi, follow kar liya darr lag raha hai  ",sir @spgrpgorakhpur i apologise if i have done something wrong. i am scared they are following me.
"Rich Guy: Mere paas Glen hai, JD hai, Black Label hai, Dewars hai. Tumhare paas kya hai?
Poor Guy: Mere paas, mere paas...Old Monk hai.
#FTW","rich guy: i have Glen, JD, Black Label, Dewars hai. what do you have? poor guy: i have, i have old monk. # FTW"
@bugShutter @WohFilmyLadki Wahi toh joke tha bhai,@bugShutter @WohFilmyLadki that was the joke brother.
@RoflGandhi_ itna hone ke baad bhi airtel se port kyu nahi kar lete dada ?? Idea ka ad ab abhishek bachchan nahi kar raha ..!!,@RoflGandhi_ brother why don't you port from airtel after all this? abhishek bachchan is not advertising idea now.
"Matlab aaaj se swachh bandh aur sach shuru? Underwear dhona bandh, aur sach mein boxer churana shuru!","this means from today, cleanliness has stopped and real things start. washing underwear has stopped and stealing boxers has started."
"arre arre aise na bolo, achha sunne ki aadad nahi hai. :-)",don't say this. i am not used to listen good things.
@ImRaina Hey kya tum hum sabko Happy Mahashivratri wish karoge ? hhmm,@ImRaina hey will you wish Happy Mahashivratri all of us ?
#c.m #yogi ji ka speed dekh kar to #Trump v sarma jaye #u.p,"by seeing speed of #c.m #yogi ,#Trump will feel ashamed #u.p"
ModiBharosa #UHF RT DeshKaSutradhar : Facts you should know about RailMinIndia #RailBudget2015 http://t.co/3hzxzx4wXr,modi trust #UHF RT contry's narrator : Facts you should know about RailMinIndia #RailBudget2015 http://t.co/3hzxzx4wXr
@NavenduSingh_ Woh to tujhe bhaav bhi nahi deti.  Teri ab tak jal rahi hai.. LOL,@NavenduSingh_ she doesn't give you attention. you are still jalous. laughing out loud.
Kuch fork nahi padtahttps://twitter.com/shrustyle/status/632882660721868800 …,no one cares. https://twitter.com/shrustyle/status/632882660721868800 …
"Mukesh: Neetu baby iss umpire ko bhi khareed lenge uske khandan ke saath.
Neetu: No I hate him still
Mukesh: Ok uska gaon bhi khareed lenge","mukesh: neetu baby we will buy umpire  along with its family. Neetu: No I hate him still. mukesh: Okay, we will buy his town also."
@Insomniac_Abhi @MeetUunngLee yaar aap Katrina Kaif ko toh seedhe approach nahi karoge na? Nervous ho jaati hai ladkiyan mere bhai ke liye.,"@Insomniac_Abhi @MeetUunngLee dear you won't approach Katrina Kaif directly, will you? girls get nervous for my brother."
"Sunny Deol - Ye mazdoor ka haath hai KAATYA
Kejru - Ismein MODI JI ka haath hai",sunny deol - this is worker's hand kaatya. kejru- this has modi's involvement.
"Adnan Sami: Mujhko bhi to lift kara de

God: Apna weight maloom hai?",adnan sami: lift me also. god: do you know your weight?
@MissKhushiSen aaj kya chal raha hai bigg boss me waise?,@MissKhushiSen what's happening in  bigboss today? 
@kachra_peti Mandira ko kuch mat bol be.. Tujhe thok dega aake @Fussy_Ca,@kachra_peti don't say anything to mandira.he will kill you. @Fussy_Ca
saath mein summary bhi likh deti  .  .  .  wahi pad leta :-/ :-|,"you could have written the summary simultaneously, i would have read it then and there. "
milk chocolate day is tomorrow .  are you ready to celebrate !  ?,are you ready to celebrate the milk chocolate day tomorrow? 
@waglenikhil Lavde.. ek baar phir se pahd le kya likha hai,"@waglenikhil dickhead, read what's written once again. "
"Is Nirav Modi ne Aadhar link nahin kiya tha kya @UIDAI "" just asking ? #PNBScam #PNBFraudCase # 3 SaalFailSarkar #ThursdayThoughts",did nariv modi link his adhar card @UIDAI  just asking ? #PNBScam #PNBFraudCase # 3 SaalFailSarkar #ThursdayThoughts
@krazyfrog bhai sahab aap gaadi side main lagao. Aapka chalaan hoga.,@krazyfrog brother park your car aside. otherwise you will be charged.
#अगर_रविवार_नहीं_होता to hume kaise pata chalta ki Pandit Gangadhar Vidyadhar Mayadhar Omkarnath Shastri hi Shaktimaan hai,#अगर_रविवार_नहीं_होता than how would we know that  Pandit Gangadhar Vidyadhar Mayadhar Omkarnath Shastri is  Shaktimaan.
aunty court ki proceeding me Modi ji kaha aa gaye.. subah subah kejriwal se katwa ke aayee ho kya https://twitter.com/karuna_madan/status/757466099285913600 …,aaunty how did modi come in court's proceeding? have you got cut by kejriwal in the morning? https://twitter.com/karuna_madan/status/757466099285913600 …
"""Kachchi"" 
""Chee aur kuch bolo""
""Underviyar""
""Chee nahin""
""Hosary""
""Koi nahin apan kachchi bolenge""",""" raw"" "" yuck say something else"" "" underwear"" "" yuck no"" "" hosary"" "" don't worry we will say panty"""
Ab hagna bhi sikhayenge. https://twitter.com/chemistryvids/status/682409110000672769 …,now they will teach to poop. https://twitter.com/chemistryvids/status/682409110000672769 …
10 game bhi badi mushkil se hoti thi .  .  .  baki sab repeat .  .  .  :d ,) :p
delhi university walo ke paas koi kam hai ki nahi pehle #JNU ka kanhaiya phir gurmeher --- this is youth,"students from delhi university have no work to do, first #JNU and after that gurmeher. this is youth."
zindagi ne gadha banaye rakha hai bhai.,"life has made me an ass, brother."
@Lagharvaghar raat ko kiya tha isiliye kar diya,"@Lagharvaghar i had done it in the night, that why i did it."
"kejriwal ko log cm maan chuke hai ,  sirf kuchh dino ki der hai . ","people have accepted kejariwal as chief minister, now it is just a matter of time."
"Rahul Gandhi lands in Delhi and says ""yahan ki air bahut gandhi hai"".","rahul gandhi lands in delhi and says "" the air here is very dirty."""
@BhateKetan @UnSubtleDesi Kal jab daaru utregi.. Akal aa jaegi @Joydas,"@BhateKetan @UnSubtleDesi tomorrow when you'll be sober, your brain will work.@Joydas"
Canada ka PM bhi Kejriwal haihttps://twitter.com/EconomicTimes/status/709012421751377921 …,canada's prime minister is also kejariwal. https://twitter.com/EconomicTimes/status/709012421751377921 …
Han bhai. Lekin der aaye durast aaye.,yes brother. late come fix come.
Aaj hi school khula aur shahjade saab gayab .... bhai gazab student hai . #RahulOnLeave,"school has opened today onle, and he is gone. brother he is weird student.#RahulOnLeave"
So confused .. Sunday hai kya karna chahiye aaj,"so confused .. it's sunday, what should we do?"
@MdRizwan4 @AnupamPkher @KHer vajpayee ji bahut hi achchhe prime minister they . Manmohan ji ka pata nahi .,@MdRizwan4 @AnupamPkher @KHer vajpayee were really good prime ministers. i don't know about manmohan singh.
Musibat aur tatti kabhi bhi aa sakti hai.. https://twitter.com/Champ_Nikk/status/789160393365159936 …,problems and potty can come at anytime. https://twitter.com/Champ_Nikk/status/789160393365159936 …
mummy tea mein masala daal dena is cnfsr ne paka diya  .  .  .  #boaring,mother put some masala in the tea. i got really bored in that conference.
mujhe ek baat samajh nahi aati .  gags 90s k hote hain but match or tv shows jab bhi aaate hain to present time main kaise shift ho jate hain .  koi time machine h kya .  .,"i don't understand one thing. gags are from 90s but when match or a tv show comes, then that shifts to the present time, how? is ther any time machine?"
@huh_watnow tadpaye tarsaaye re.. Saari raat jagaye re.. Pyaar tera.. Dilli ki sardi..,"@huh_watnow the love for winter of delhi is agonizing me, is keeping me awake all night."
#Dhoni hatke hai isliye hameshaa aise jhatke deta hai ..... forever captain of #TeamIndia feeling sad ... sir,#Dhoni is different that is why he keeps giving us shock. forever captain of #TeamIndia feeling sad sir.
Rohit Sharma kisi ko run out na karwaye. Bahut bada ehsan hoga.,"rohit sharma doesn't take a wicket, It'll be a blessing."
"@sumeet_jnj ye hai presently, kharab hogaya","@sumeet_jnj this is the present condition, it's broken."
"Inspector Chandramukhi Chautala ka assistant Gulgule hai..

RT @baawraman Armaan khule hain. Ziddi bulbule hain.",inspector chandramukhi chautala's assistant is gulgule. rt @baawraman expectations are open. bubbles are stubborn.
Prajapati poore Praja ke Pati banne ki koshish mein the.https://twitter.com/ANINewsUP/status/832504463646658560 …,prajapati was trying to be husband of whole state. https://twitter.com/ANINewsUP/status/832504463646658560 …
"Main hoo na, batao kya sunna hai?","i'm here, tell me what you want to hear?"
@narendramodi Veer tum bade chalo.. Dheer tum bade chalo,"@narendramodi  you grow strong man, you groe patient."
@HathwalaThakur bhai ho to aisa  @Amit_smiling,"@HathwalaThakur brother, you are one of a kind @Amit_smiling"
Ranbir Kapoor ko kis ki nazar lag gai hai? Ek ke baad ek gande films de raha hai.,"whose negative vibes fell on ranbir kapoor? one by one, a bad film of his comes up these days. "
@premlata_rai @Atheist_Krishna sharm ni aati tujhe? Sha,@premlata_rai @Atheist_Krishna aren't you ashamed of youselves? 
"Chal baazu la laav gaadi, lie-sense kaadhttps://twitter.com/CPMumbaiPolice/status/682548042097147904 …",park your car aside and show the lisence https://twitter.com/CPMumbaiPolice/status/682548042097147904 …
@Choti_Daku bahot hi taqleefadyak ho aap,@Choti_Daku you are highly depressed(sorrowful). 
@TweetErrant Sabse zyada tere hi nikalne hain,@TweetErrant you are going to get the highest anyways.
@huh_watnow Juda hoke bhi.. Tu mujh me kahi baaki hai,"@huh_watnow even after being seperate, you are still there in me."
"guddu bhai ,  itni pass se tv mat dekha kar ,  chasmis ho jayega :-d :-p","guddu brother, don't watch the television from such a close distance, might even get a spectales. "
bhai paka mat.. @TrollKejri Ka mukabla nahi kar paega tu @RoflGandhi_,brother don't make me bored. you won't able to compete with @TrollKejri  @RoflGandhi_
"@SritikaDhar @IScreamPunday Haan, kar de Piyu. Haam kar de mujhe ",@SritikaDhar @IScreamPunday piyu say yes. say yes to me.
Damn !!! Haters will hate,"damn, haters will hate. "
"Main apni khud ki favorite hu, kyunki waise mujhe society ka watchman bhi nahi taadta.","i am my own favourite, not even a strret watchman flirts with me though."
rohan tu toh abi tak office mein acting karta hai .  .  .,"rohan, you keep acting in the office till date. "
oh yeah mom said do your stuff jaldi .  new year ke program b aane hai aaj .  :'d,oh yeah mom said do your stuff fast . have to go to new program afterwards
"guddu khade rehne ki stithi me nahi hai kyunki kuch aur  ""   ""  ho gaya hai  !  !  :o :p :d hehehe rofl",guddu is not in a state to stand up because something else has happend ! !
"Modi ne to ensure ker diya #demonetization aur #GST ke unthinkable rates se ki garib mer hi ""jai na rahe #garib aur na rahegi #garibi","modi has ensured that by #demonetization and #GST unthinkable rates, the poor will die #garib not remaining, then there will be no #garibi"
"RT @KyaUkhaadLega : Reporter : Gareebi ke baare mai kya kahenge ? KV : Jab gareebi main aata geela ho , to use muh pe laga le , meri tarah ! ht","rt @KyaUkhaadLega : reporter : what will you say about poverty ? kv : when flour becomes wet , then apply it on face , like me !"
@LoKarloUnfollow haan bhai tu topp hai @NaughtyDew_pic.twitter.com/jAO8Tchcsu,@LoKarloUnfollow yes brother you are the top @NaughtyDew
@clumsy_singh trend ho raha hai,@clumsy_singh is trending
@MeeratTariq1 hasso mat yaar .. bahut dil se maangi thi ye dua ! Sirf ek fawad chhaiye mujhe .. not too many ! :-),@MeeratTariq1 please do not laugh .. asked for this wish from my heart ! I want only one favor .. not too many !
aise tym pe toh guddu k samne sharukh salman sab fail hai .  .  .  .  .,in such times in front of guddu sharukh salman everyone is a failure
shaan ka bag radio lag rha hai :v,looking like a bag of pride radio
@LaliJogan37 aaj gyaan ka sagar baha diya aapne,@LaliJogan37 today you shed the ocean of knowledge
"dandiya se singlehood yaad aata hai, aur aansoo aajate hai. :'(","dandiya reminds of singlehood, more tears come."
"""A chataai for a chataai will give the world a uddan khatola"" - Mahatma Alllahdin","""A chataai for a chataai will give the world a uddan khatola"" - Mahatma Alllahdin"
"@madhums_ @archi7194 apko bhi mahashivratri ki bahut bahut badhaiyan , may lord shiva bless all . Thnx .","@madhums_ @archi7194 apko bhi mahashivratri ki bahut bahut badhaiyan , may lord shiva bless all . Thnx ."
@UddhhamSingh apne liye yahi Jarvis hai,@UddhhamSingh this is only jarvis for us
@ek_samosa_dena kal baat karte hai bhai please,@ek_samosa_dena let us talk tomorrow please
haha! Majboori hai dekhna padega,"haha! Have a compulsion, will have to see"
@Retributions hum bhi videsh yatra par jayenge,@Retributions we will also be traveling abroad
pretty good thursday night with @someUSER if only rivers would stop sucking so bad !  # @ qualcomm stadium http/URL,pretty good thursday night with @someUSER if only rivers would stop sucking so bad !  @qualcomm stadium
"RT @kalakaaar : Arrest sonakshi sinha for mimicking Buffalo . y "" plz soch samajh k likha karo .",rt @kalakaaar : arrest sonakshi sinha for mimicking buffalo . why please write with a little thinking
Teacher ji @LaliJogan37 20K ki badhai.. Celeb ban gayee ho.. Hum jaiso ko bhool mat jana,teacher madam @LaliJogan37 greetings of 20 thousand.. you have become a celebrity.. do not forget people like us
@ZeeNewsHindi purane stats aur records koi kam k nahi hte.us din us match mein jo team jo player achcha khelega wohi jeetega .,"@ZeeNewsHindi old stats and records are of no use. That day whichever team, whichever player plays well will win."
@iamsrk_vraj Haan ajkal main raat ko hi office jata hoon .. kaam bhi zyada nhi hota to sukun ke din guzar rha hun .. :P,@iamsrk_vraj yes now a days i am going to office only at night .. work is not much so i am having relaxed days
"Sisodia: Bhai Arvind.. Aaj Ashutosh ne tweet kiya bina spelling mistake kiye_x000D_
_x000D_
Kejriwal: Waah Waah.. Achche Dinpic.twitter.com/S1bcdz3u6W","sisodia: borther arvind.. Today aushotosh did tweets without making spelling mistake_x000D_
_x000D_
kejriwal: good good ? good days"
yaar news mein aaya tha tu  .  .  .  ?  ?  ?  ?  huh  .  .  story achhi h short film bnwaa le ispe,"friend, you came in the news .. ? huh .. story is good make a short film on it"
garbage bin guddu bhai thand ke mausam mein dusro ke ghar ki bell baja kar bhage nahi kya  ?  agar bhage to dikhao bhai :),garbage bin guddu brother in winter season did you not ring other people's bell and run ? if you ran then show brother
david letterman had an interesting show on monday .  he is located in new york city .  because of the hurricane he .  .  .  http/URL,david letterman had an interesting show on monday . he is located in new york city . because of the hurricane he ...
analysis: daniels made the right court pick: gov .  mitch daniels said friday he appointed tippecanoe county superior .  .  .  http/URL,analysis: daniels made the right court pick: gov .  mitch daniels said friday he appointed tippecanoe county superior .  .  .
england''s patel stakes test claim with century: mumbai: samit patel hit a century on thursday to make a strong  .  .  .  http/URL,england''s patel stakes test claim with century: mumbai: samit patel hit a century on thursday to make a strong  .  .  .
haan bahut pehle recording ki thi 4-5 episodes ki. Ussi ka last part hoga Maine bhi suna nahin.,yes the recording of four five episodes was done way back . it will be the last part of that. i also did not hear
"Kora kaagaz tha ye mann mera, likh diya naam iss pe baara -tera.","my mind was like a plain paper, wrote twelve thirteen names on it"
"sai hai na jo hai bst ha teri tarah todi looser kahin ka .  . deli walo ka kitna nuksan kya h tune loser , fenku .","sai hai na jo hai bst ha teri tarah todi looser kahin ka .  . deli walo ka kitna nuksan kya h tune loser , fenku ."
@KapoorMaahi yeh gareeb ka majak bana rahe hai .... Gareeb kaha sei paisa layega ... saara paisa toe Indira and Rajiv Gandhi loot lete thei,@KapoorMaahi they are making joke of poor .... from where poor will bring money ... Complete money has been stolen by Indira and Rajiv Gandhi
guddu ka multi-talent tv ke ke sath-sath book pad rha hai .  .,guddu's multi-talent reading book while watching tv
"5- videsi ki jagah ,  tata aur ambani jase desh bhakt uddyogpatiyo ko modi ji ne tarjih di",modi has preferred country devout industrialists like tata and ambani instead of foreigners
Ram milaye jodi @ANI_news,ram creates couples @ANI_news
sallluuuuuuuuuuu aa bhi jao :'(,sallu now come!
"@WaggishMe very good, thoda sa gulab jal  bhi mila lena","@WaggishMe very good, also mix some rose water"
exactly !  very true !  bachpan ki yaade dilwate hi admin,exactly! very true! admin brings childhood memories
mummy har time grih-shobha hi pdhti rehtii hai  .  .  .  :p :d,mother is all the time reading grih-shobha
Aao bachho tumhe sikhaaye ____ Hindustan ki? Iss mitti se tilak karo ye dharti hai balidan ki. #HappyRepublicDay (Fill In The Blanks),come here children let us learn ____ of hindustan? do tilak to this soil this earth is of sacrifice. #HappyRepublicDay (fill in the blanks)
@tweeting_pal kuch to log kahenge.. Logo ka kaam hai kehna,@tweeting_pal people will day something.. it is people's job to say something
@mukkulsharma bilkul daaru ko haath nahi lagai hai,@mukkulsharma have never touched alcohol
Rajesh ne hamesha Vivek se kaam liya.,rajesh always acted with discretion.
"Piyushbhai aka @friendlii_ghost , bowed to Amitabh bachchan. Gujarati sanskar. #EkDinToGujaroGujaratMein","piyushbhai aka @friendlii_ghost , bowed to amitabh bachchan. gujarati rites. #EkDinToGujaroGujaratMein"
Is desh me #Rape k Kanoon se jyada important #GST etc ho to kya ho sakta he.,in this country if  more than #Rape laws #GST etc is important then what can happen.
Agar kisi kaam ko logo ki prashansa ke bajaye bajaye virodh mile to wo kaam 100% sahi hai .... I Salute Notebandi,"If some work receives opposition instead of praising of the people, then that work is 100% right?. i support note ban"
"Jinka koi future nahi hota, unka adventure hota hai.","those who have no future, have an adventure."
samajh nahin aa rahin...kis language me hain.,can't understand ... in which language is it
@iamankursjain iss saal roz b'day manaane ki sochi hai!,@iamankursjain plans to celebrate birthday every day this year!
@dubey_gaurav bidi jalaile shivaji piya,burning bidi drank shivaji
"Ramzaade Jeet rahe hain "" ab #Holi par DJ par ban nahi hoga 0",ramzaade are winning now there will be no ban on dj on #Holi
"@Ra_Bies haha, ye accent walon ki jo tumne maari hai. Main toh nazdeek nahi rehta aise ladkiyon ke","@Ra_Bies haha, you have made fun of people with accent. i do not live close to such girls"
Sri Lankan Players ka Smog Se Swagat kiya hai Delhi walo ne.... #INDvSL #KingKohli #DelhiSmog,delhiites have welcomed sri lankan players with smog.... #INDvSL #KingKohli #DelhiSmog
Subah subah desh se baahar baithkar desh mein happiness Pakistan se kam hai uski side lo. Yaayyy! https://twitter.com/geekinkuwait/status/844047722940252160?ÿƒ??,"sitting out of the country in the morning, happiness in the country is less than pakistan, take its side. yayyay!"
RT @rahaf_rifa : @TUTULSOTWE Happpyyyyy Walaaaaa Birthdayyyy baby its 12.07 am in Bangladesh Love you a bohot saraa : * You will always be,rt @rahaf_rifa : @TUTULSOTWE happy birthday baby its 12.07 am in bangladesh love you a lot : you will always be
@iamGunjanGrunge hahaha.  Aaja bhai,@iamGunjanGrunge hahaha come brother
we're playing with jim white on tuesday !  static on the radio por favor ?  http/URL via @someUSER @someUSER @someUSER #dcshows,we're playing with jim white on tuesday !  static on the radio for favor ? via @someUSER @someUSER @someUSER #dcshows
"Ye bik gaya hai Pandya._x000D_
#IndvBan","has benen sold pandya._x000D_
#IndvBan"
32seat lekr ghnta kam kiya bjp ne .  .,32seat lekr ghnta kam kiya bjp ne .  .
2-3 emoji aur daal.. zyada funny lagega,put 2 3 more emojis .. you will look more funny
"unhe bete ke liye ticket  chajiye, Congress ne mana kar diya...Bjp dear rahi hai.","they want ticket for their child, congress said no?bjp is giving"
work harder  .  .  .  oh god  .  aaah aaahh  .  harder oh my god  .  .  aah :p :p,work harder  .  .  .  oh god  .  aaah aaahh  .  harder oh my god  .  .  Aah
aa gaya is anna ka ghinona chehra samne .  . highlight hona chahta he ye . kejri iske aandolan ki hi pedaish he . #dramaparty,anna's hideous face has come in front. . he wants to be highlighted. kejri is a product of his movement. #dramaparty
Beta tum aao 2019 me vote mangane 0 Aisi lal kar denge tumhari na dikha paoge na kuch laga paoge 0 Shame on #RahulGandhi #ShameOnRahulGandhi #Congress #WEF 18 #Davos,child you come in 2019 asking for votes we will make it red such that you neither won't be able to show nor able to put something on it shame on #RahulGandhi #ShameOnRahulGandhi #Congress #WEF 18 #Davos
"""Gurgaon mein jahaan aakhri mall khatam hoti hai na, udhar hi tumhari democracy aur constitution bhi khatam ho jaati hai."" - NH10","in gurgaon where last mall ends, there only your democracy and constitution also ends - nh10"
"bhai ,  rulayega kya :( kuch yaad taazi ho gayi :d","brother , will you make me cry some memory got refreshed"
"isme se  "" tanks ""  mera favourite tha .  . kyuki baaki kuch tha hi nahi isme .  .  .  :d",out of this tanks was my favourite .  . because there was nothing else in this ...
@Simply_neev hahahaha lagatar dekhne par aur funny lag raha hai,@Simply_neev hahahaha seeing continously makes it even more funny
#GST aur #Digitalpayment Apnao desh aur Vyapar Aage Badhao! #TradeGoesDigital #DigitalforGST #CAIT,use #GST and #Digitalpayment develop country and trade era! #TradeGoesDigital #DigitalforGST #CAIT
@PoojaMissra Jungle raaj k baad ab Bihar may tantrik raaj karwana hai kya Nitish Jee??  #YoNitishSoTantrik,@PoojaMissra after jungle rule do you now want to bring tantrik rule in bihar nitish sir??  #YoNitishSoTantrik
Sarfaraz ne aaj bhi dhokha nahi diya jaggu.,sarfaraz did not cheat jaggu even today.
mere sath ulta h :/,it is opposite for me
"@NeelakshiGswm @narendramodi @ArvindKejriwal he doesnot need to do anything miss , jst haryana se water block karwa do , ek mahine me ro denge","@NeelakshiGswm @narendramodi @ArvindKejriwal he does not need to do anything miss , just need to block water from haryana, in one month will start crying"
chalk to ni late the .  .  .,chalk was not late
kaise main aau? Dil razamand hai,how to come in? heart is agreeable
No.diziye whatsupp ka photo bej dete hai,no. give. send the whatsapp photo
Tune tag kyu kiya mujhe?,why did you tag me?
@sardanarohit #MustWatchMSG Thank u Rohit ji agar all India me release hoti to aur bhi jabardast record bante http://t.co/qPBpXWF7Ga,@sardanarohit #MustWatchMSG thank you rohit sir if it was released in all India then it would have made an even larger record
ye hai dhasu look..../ilu viii,this is awesome look
Rajya Sabha passed the #GST legislations today paving way for #GST implementation. Mera desh Badal raha hai Aage badh raha hai,"rajya sabha passed the #GST legislations today paving way for #GST implementation. my country is changing, it is going forward"
Peene ke liye socha hi nahi paise sambhalne honge.,never thought that i will have to keep money for drinking
"@Atheist_Krishna Bhikhari ke ghar bheekh maang rahe ho, yahan khaane peene ke vaande hai","@Atheist_Krishna you are begging at beggars home, here there are problems of eating and drinking"
"they could have won it ,  agar ladki and advertisement se time mile to .  .  .  .  ;)","they could have won it , if they had got time from girls and advertisement"
@Immortalizeboy @Bhoolwerine Arey Bhai meri bhi nahi hui hai. Kahi suni baaton ka bharosa na karein.,"@Immortalizeboy @Bhoolwerine hey brother, mine is also not done. do not trust on hearsay"
"@chatpatidiary isse survey ki zaroorat nahi hai, this is the truth of most.","@chatpatidiary this does not reuqire a survey, this is the truth of most."
@someUSER dec 16th .  i know it's so far and near the end of sagittarius but i'm a full blown sag girl :) lol,@someUSER december 16th .  i know it's so far and near the end of sagittarius but i'm a full blown sagittarius girl lol
"true story ,  teachers staff room main bina teacher ke class wale bachho se jyada shor karte hain :p","true story ,  teachers staff room main bina teacher ke class wale bachho se jyada shor karte hain :p"
"Aakhir tuMhe aana hai, zara der lagegi.","after all you have to come, it will take a while."
@karachikhatmal @Nicks103 saha b akmal bretheraan hai . Dil kre toh acha khel liya varna sab ko saath lekar doobta hai,@karachikhatmal @Nicks103 saha b akmal is a brethren . if it feels like playing good then he plays else takes the whole team in water
"i might go to pierce the veil at northern lights (sold out) in albany ,  ny - oct 31 http/URL","i might go to pierce the veil at northern lights (sold out) in albany ,  new york - 31 october"
@huh_watnow To wo gud kha jaegi aur chali jaegi apne baal bacho ke pass,@huh_watnow so she will eat jagery and go away our hair to children
@Challa_SRKian ?ø?????ø???? accha hai ... school mat bhejna unkoONE MONTH FOR FAN,@Challa_SRKian this is good ... do not send them to school one month for fan
"#IndvsPak - Umesh Yadav to harsh bhogle - Pressure banane ka kaam Shami ne achcha kiya , mujh se to ho nahin paya .","#IndvsPak - Umesh Yadav to harsh bhogle - shami did a good job of making pressure, i could not have done it."
paise transfer karne padte hai tab chalta hai @Paytm,for transfering money it works @Paytm
"@ek_samosa_dena @retardedwriter mujhe bhi pasand hai Sabu, hamam Sabu._x000D_
Nahane mein mazza aata tha","@ek_samosa_dena @retardedwriter I also like sabun, hamam sabun._x000D_
in bathing there is fun"
oye .  .  . maine aaj tak mario ki koi stage nai haari .  . mauhala champion thi .  .  . ladkiya isme bhi awal,hey .  .  . i have never lost in a stage of mario .  . mauhala was champion .  .  . girls top even in this
dimaag short ho gaya khulle ke chakkar me @angryoungwomanpic.twitter.com/29462I7z8g,mind got short in making change @angryoungwoman
iske aage ke tweets kaha hain ?,where are the tweets after this ?
I just realised aaj Mahashivratri hai ! Apne Pandit ka hilltop mandir khula hoga aaj to @Filmbuff100 @hennaav,i just realised today is mahashivratri ! our priests hilltop temple must have opened today @Filmbuff100 @hennaav
kabhi kabhi cassette ka plastic cover uttar kar .  .  . we had to use jus chip to play games .  .  .  .  .  lol .  .  .  .,sometimes we used to remove plastic cover of cassette .  .  . we had to use just chip to play games .  .  .  .  .  lol .  .  .  .
The name of the university is JAVAHARLAL NEHRU ...... naam kaafee hai samjhnekeliye #JNU,the name of the university is javaharlal nehru ...... name is enough for explaining #JNU
"#UP ki saari EVM machine se chedhchaad ki gai "" aisa kehne waali #mayawati ji mahaan hai","#mayawati madam saying that ""all #UP evm machines has been tampered"" is great"
Well said Shatru Sir bagawat har kisi ke bas ki baat nahi ..! Shukriya khamoshi todne ke liye .. #MannKiBaat,well said shatru sir. rebellion is not just for everyone ..! thanks for breaking the silence .. #MannKiBaat
Afridi cheering Pakistan team - matches haare to kya hua ? Ek baat hamesha yaad rakho hum ney ek baar India ke saamne Toss jita hai .,"Afridi Cheering Pakistan Team - What happened if we lost the matches? Always remember one thing, we have won the toss in front of India once."
@dashhtweets abhi to nehra ji khub ek baby hain,@dashhtweets abhi to nehra ji khub is a baby
@clued_up_chic minorities ke saath yahi ho raha hai Modiji ke sarkaar mein,@clued_up_chic this is what is happening to minorities in the modi government
"@moronicdiaries so jaa, hamesha dedh mat ban","@moronicdiaries sleep, don't always be one and a half"
"Maa-Baap ki izzat karo._x000D_
Mother Teresa, Gandhiji aka Baapu._x000D_
Apne maa baap se pucha that ke is dharm mein kyu janm diya?","respect your mother and father._x000D_
mother teresa, gandhiji aka bapu._x000D_
asked my parents, why did they gave birth in this religion?"
"Gadkari ka bijli bill dekh chaunkne walon, shukar karo ki unka khane ka bill nahi dekha.","those shocked to see gadkari's electricity bill, thankfully you did not see his food bill."
"@Ra_Bies @indiantweeter peechey se mat chadh, himmat hai to aagey se le (written behind an auto with kejriwal sticker stuck alongside)","@Ra_Bies @indiantweeter do not climb from back, if you have courage then come from front (written behind an auto with kejriwal sticker stuck alongside)"
Ye kaise gaane sunte ho yaar? Shi,how do you listen to this man?
drapan nhi darpan hota h .  . aapki hindi kamzor h,it is darpan not drapan .. your hindi is weak
kamchor insan beggar wajah ke bheekh magta hai.,lazy man begs with weak reasons.
aap ik baar #donald #trump and #LALUPRASAD #YADAV JI KA INTER VIEW EK #sath kr ke dikhaye .....,once take an interview of #donald #trump and #LALUPRASAD #YADAV #sath
Kisne kya dabaya bhai?https://twitter.com/OfficeOfRG/status/700306502465122304?ÿƒ??,who pressed what brother?
"Daru peekar ghar jao to biwi ladai karti hai_x000D_
_x000D_
Kya yehi hai achche din @narendramodi ji ?","if you go home after drinking liquor then wife quarrels_x000D_
_x000D_
are these the good days @narendramodi sir ?"
"Seems @ashoswai has lost his mental balance after #Notebandi 0 Bechara Bikhari hone ke baad "" bus Modi ko Gaali deta rehta hain jab dekho 0",Seems @ashoswai has lost his mental balance after #Notebandi he is only speaking ill of modi after becoming poor
so true .  .  .  love you maa hmesha ese samjhane k liye .  .  :-*,so true . . love you mother for always being so understanding.
Moscow needs judicial guarantees US missile system in Asia does not target Russia FM https://t.co/a8giQPXLzQ,moscow needs judicial guarantees us missile system in asia does not target russia fm
"kya kiya tumko usne, ayye bhagwaan",oh god what did he do to you!
"""Bhaiyya 5 rs ka dhaniya dena*_x000D_
*Thodi kadipatta daal do*_x000D_
*Ek do mirch bhi*_x000D_
*Bhaiyya ek tukda adhrak bhi*_x000D_
_x000D_
Pays 250 for coffee at Starbucks","""Bhaiyya 5 rs ka dhaniya dena*_x000D_
*Thodi kadipatta daal do*_x000D_
*Ek do mirch bhi*_x000D_
*Bhaiyya ek tukda adhrak bhi*_x000D_
_x000D_
Pays 250 for coffee at Starbucks"
#Trump ne di diya #Shilpa ko open Challenge ki meri Trah Muh bna kr dikhao ! Om baba aaye beech mai unhone bola ki maine Trump ko sikhaya,#Trump gave #Shilpa open vhallenge to make a face like him ! om baba came in between and said that he taught trump
@grievous_ronin @Fuljhadii @ek_samosa_dena I give up. Mujhe cute nahi lagi ye,@grievous_ronin @Fuljhadii @ek_samosa_dena I give up. I do not find it cute
aur 1 wali pepsi bhool gaye  @India_Policy @MrShaakaal,and forgot pepsi of one  @India_Policy @MrShaakaal
Chadha saab kab tak rayta failaoge.. Poochna hai to baap se poocho #DUSUElectionshttps://twitter.com/raghav_chadha/status/640890340031922176?ÿƒ??,"chadha sir how much time will you spread raita.. if you want to ask, ask your father #DUSUElections"
"@Alllahdin theek hai yaar, it's good. Ye @retardedwriter ko lekar ghumunga weekend pe hunting. Aaj bhi ek dekha hai","@Alllahdin this is okay friend, it is good. I will take @retardedwriter travelling hunting on weekend. today also saw one"
Kidhar Tukre ho rahe hain ?? Haan #JNU mee Kuch Anti social Creatures Shouted #BharatTereTukreHunge or tuo koi nahi bola,where are pieces happening ?? yes in #JNU some anti-social creatues shouted #BharatTereTukreHunge and nobody will say anything
"Hafiz Saeed: kuchh mere naam ke bhi tweet kar liya kar, free ke paise leta hai bas_x000D_
Bhatt: bas abhi kiya sir..pic.twitter.com/IHU5YoGq2C","hafiz saeed: make some tweets in my name also, you only take free money_x000D_
bhatt: doing now sir.."
"Aaj Jayesh famous hogaya, mummy khushi ke aansoo royegi https://twitter.com/IndiGo6E/status/601333586831273984?ÿƒ??","today jayesh is famous, mother will cry tears of happiness"
"Tabu: Rang de rang de mujhe rang de rang de mujhe rang de rang de mujhe rang de_x000D_
Ajay Devgn: Nahi deta, mera bhi khatam hone ko aaya hai.","tabu: give me color give me color give me color give me color give me color_x000D_
ajay devgan: i do not give, mine too has come to an end."
"dekh ola share ko kuch nahi bolna, baaki sab theek, ye religious matter hai._x000D_
Weekend milte hai","see do not say anything to ola share, everything else is okay, this is religious matter._x000D_
you get weekend"
Kam se kam score to jyada hoga.,at least the score will be higher.
MSD - hum semifinal haar gae Alia bhatt - semifinal haar gae to kya final jeet lena :p,msd -we lost the semifinals alia bhatt - if you lost semifinals then win the finals
Android walo so jao. Subah kaam par jaana hai. #AppleEvent,android people sleep. tomorrow you have to go to work. #AppleEvent
@Ruchir78 paisa bhijwa diya hai. Dekhte hain,@Ruchir78 sent the money. let us see
"feeling excited at Sonadanga R/A , Khulna https://t.co/GXRmupNL7S","feeling excited at sonadanga r/a , open"
@IyerAvin Apne jizzbaaton ko kabu mein rakho,@IyerAvin keep your emotions in control
@MeetUunngLee twitter par tumhari kitni deewaniya hai?,@MeetUunngLee on twitter how many girls are crazy for you?
Chaai mein kaunsa donut dubakar khaogi ? #NotAGoodConversationStarter,in tea which donut will you dip and eat ? #NotAGoodConversationStarter
"25K tweets on ""Drishyam Winning Hearts"".. Bhai iske aadhe bhi film dekhne chale jaate to super duper hit ho jati..","25K tweets on ""Drishyam Winning Hearts"".. even if half people of these had went to see the movie it would have been a hit"
Salmanu mashallah Bahut hamsome ho!!!!khush raho!!!,salmanu mashallah extremely handsome!!!!remain happy!!!
"Nahi. Kaunsa hai?_x000D_
Abhi ye sun raha thahttps://youtu.be/TgwvAEm4QaI?ÿ","no. which one is it?_x000D_
currently was listening to this"
@prahladkr Lalu aur nitish dono ek hi sikke k 2 pahelu #NitishKaNakliVikas,@prahladkr lalu and nitish are two sides of the same coin #NitishKaNakliVikas
Haha Piyus Bhai! Non veg vaat karu chu? ,P
"@Strawberigloz he barobar naahi aahe, aaplich manasa aaplyala paathi sodtat. Aaplya itithasacha garva asla pahije. Jai Maharashtra","@Strawberigloz this is not right, our own men leave us behind. we must have pride of our history. jai maharashtra"
"I mean, kaise jee lete ho aisi ghatiya zindagi?","i mean, how do you win this bad life?"
Cool movie bajarangi bhaijan osm ??,cool movie bajarangi bhaijan awesome ??
@perky_girl16 love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega,@perky_girl16 will do anything for love
@Miss_Ankiita Haan.. Sahi kaha.. Kuch Virar wale to subah office jaane ke liye taiyaar ho kar hi aaye hinge ,)
Kya hua Smriti ji?,what happend smriti madam?
prateek johri dialogue tere bas ki baat nahi .  .,prateek johri dialogue is not in your limits
@sonunigam @ sonu bhai sach bhot khushi ho rahi hai Bobby bhi bhot khush huaa bhai love you misssssssssssssss ...... youuuuu .. miss you na,@sonunigam @ sonu brother i am truthfully feeling extremely happy bobby is also extremely happy brother love you miss you miss you
RT @RajniGa85113138 : @Gurmeetramrahim #MSGmissionHumanity pita ji hm pr hmesha diya drishti bnai rkhna,rt @RajniGa85113138 : @Gurmeetramrahim #MSGmissionHumanity father always keep your sight on me
""" @TimesNow : Cigarette , pan masala to be costlier : FM Arun Jaitley #SuperBudget "" Outrage ega . Aap AK ko Punjab bhejke khud Delhi ke CM banjao .",""" @TimesNow : Cigarette , pan masala to be costlier : fm arun jaitley #SuperBudget "" outrage ega . you send ak to punjab and become delhi cm"
sabse adhik to 64 in 1 hi chalta tha ^_^,64 in 1 was mostly preferred
Saif Ali Khan is trending. Is Kareena Kapoor pregnant?,Saif Ali Khan is trending. Is Kareena Kapoor pregnant?
happy new year to everyone .  .  enjoy with ranga rang karyakaram .  .  ,)
"@MeetUunngLee Unglee seth. Pranaam, heere purani mandir ke peeche pahuncha diye hai","@MeetUunngLee unglee seth. greetings, diamonds are transported behind the old temple"
Hahaha! Apt hai.  Badlaav hona chahiye,hahaha! It is apt. there must be change
biwi gayee hai maayke.. wo phone pe batati hai recipe,wife has gone to maternal home .. she is telling recipe on phone
Bhai @indiantweeter best of luck.. Teri tweet-up ki dukaan upar wala aise hi chalate rahe,brother @indiantweeter best of luck.. your tweet-up shop in god's name must keep running like this
@The_Sleigher bhai tere fake accouts bohot pareshaan kar rahe hai,@The_Sleigher brother your fake accounts are extremely upsetting
Seesa ho ya dil ho toot jata hai. #Maggi,let it be mirror or heart it will break #Maggi
Pehli surgical strike kulkarni sahab ke ghar honi chahiye.,the first surgical strike should be at kulkarni's house.
Gambhir fans ab agle saal dikhenge.,gambhir fans will now be seen next year.
aur ladki ka number ? Wo nahi chahiye ?,and the girl's number? do not want that?
shaadi karne ke liye itna nahi sochna padta  @HaddHaiYaar,do not have to think so much for doing marriage  @HaddHaiYaar
Salman bhai .......no tansion hm tumhare sath h ...koi frk nhi pdta hme ...koi bhe kuch bole aapke killaf,salman brother ....... no tension we are with you ... it does not matter to us ... no one can say anything about you
school me 2 laddu milte they :d,used to receive two laddus in school
Aaj se pehle to aapne saare time se file kiye honge jo aaj complaint kar rahe hain.! @AwardWapasi gang activated on #GST,"Before today, you must have filed all the time, who are complaining today @AwardWapasi gang activated on #GST"
Ye kya Kaur diya tumne yaar!,what have you done friend
O behenji ... aap muslim women ke haq ki awaaz kyun nahi uthati #halala #TripleTalaq #Polygamy,o sister ... why are you not lifting the sound for muslim women's rights #halala #TripleTalaq #Polygamy
"espn- indians fire manager acta with six games left: the cleveland indians fired manager manny acta on thursday ,  .  .  .  http/URL","espn- indians fire manager acta with six games left: the cleveland indians fired manager manny acta on thursday ,  .  .  ."
@someUSER come over tomorrow ?  :) my mom isn't staying there with me she has to stay with the big dogs at the old house until gordon,@someUSER come over tomorrow ? my mom isn't staying there with me she has to stay with the big dogs at the old house until gordon
@KyaUkhaadLega haha.. Tum saale aaptards se umeed bhi kya ki jaa sakti hai ,) @TweetErrant
Kaise muge bhi apse baat krni h ...,how i also want to talk to you
jo hogi wohi to chalaenge  @integrated_me,what is there that only will have to use  @integrated_me
@heisenjit Singha achcha hua bhangiful nahi likha ,) @witchybitchygal @akshaykanitkar @Lambar_Daar @HathwalaThakur
Agar koi reform ki baat kare to usse kahiyye ki Gasoline and Diesel ko GST k andar la k dikhaiyye #PMO #CNBC #INDIA #GST,"If someone talks about reform, then ask him to bring gasoline and diesel inside GST #PMO #CNBC #INDIA #GST"
haHahaa. Kaise ho bhai ?,hahahaa. how are you brother ?
"@KingDrunkard Sambhaal ke. Ladki hai, samosa nahin!",@KingDrunkard be careful. It is a girl not a samosa
@AdvancedMaushi bhai chocolate cake le jaa.. Shayad unka dil pighal jaaye,@AdvancedMaushi brother take chocolate cake with you.. maybe their heart will melt
"Ye bilkul galat hai "" Army Chief ke baare mein rajnetik logon ko comment karne ki zaroorat nahi hai : #RahulGandhi on #SandeepDikshit","this is absolutely wrong ""there is no need to comment by the political people about Army Chief: #RahulGandhi #Sandeepakshit"
"parents ko bolo boyfriend dhund de  ,  fir no family problems  !  !","ask parents to find boyfriend , then no family problems !  !"
chitra ki kunnjiya .  .  .  .  . hahahaha so funny yar,key of chitra .  .  .  .  . hahahaha so funny bro
"Bajrang Bali ne Lanka mein aag lagayi thi, aur bajrangi bhaijaan tumhare ticket ke paison ko aag lagayega.","bajrang bali set fire to lanka, and bajrangi bhaijaan will set your ticket money on fire."
@someUSER aye mah dude did you tell alondraa abouut going to the bell game tomorrow ?,@someUSER oh mpther dude did you tell alondra about going to the bell game tomorrow ?
"My dear Muslim friends "" ek haath de ek haath le . U send me #eid #biryani "" I will send u #diwali #sweets . .","my dear muslim friends "" give one hand take one hand . you send me #eid #biryani "" i will send u #diwali #sweets . ."
@friendlii_ghost chuneende aamo se bana..,@friendlii_ghost made from selected mangoes
Aaj K date K bare ME koi nai bolega ??,nobody will speak about today's date
"pehle kuch banke dikhavo bacchon "" Kashmir issue tho tumhare bina bhi solve ho jayega #DU #JNU #antinationals #AzadiBrigade",first become something children Kashmir issue can also be solved without you #DU #JNU #antinationals #AzadiBrigade
@PagluPiggu Chikna jaise 2-3 aur aa jaye to twitter chhodna padega,@PagluPiggu if 2-3 more like Chikna come then will have to leave twitter
hahaha .  . yeto mera kissa ho gaya,hahaha .  . this became my epsiode
@OfficeOfAV AV ke saath tum bhi jail jaoge.. Waha se mast tweet karna jail ka khana @shilpitewari @sheikabhi @Swamy39,@OfficeOfAV with av you will also go to jail.. make good tweets from there food of jail @shilpitewari @sheikabhi @Swamy39
Sooji hai ? Halwa banwana tha,have coarse flour? Have to make halwa
"Summary of most relations._x000D_
Ladka dil laga baitha hai aur ladki usse angootha dikha deti hai.pic.twitter.com/fZEXTMH3Jb","summary of most relations._x000D_
Boy sits sticking his heart and the girl show him the thumb"
"@YearOfRat haha thanks bhai, office aate waqt ye shot dimag mein aaya tha :D","@YearOfRat haha thanks brother, when coming to office this came to mind"
"Poonam: bhag leti yaar_x000D_
Deepti: ek ball thi yaar_x000D_
Poonam: To kya hua?_x000D_
#ICCSG","poonam: could have run_x000D_
deepti: it was one ball_x000D_
poonam: then what happend?_x000D_
#ICCSG"
@chandan11369 @coolfunnytshirt thoda 19-20 chal jaata hai,@chandan11369 @coolfunnytshirt some 19-20 would have worked
to soch ab kaha pahunch gaya hoga China @businessinsider,then think where china would have reached @businessinsider
Shahrukh ke fans film ka Twitter pe promotion karne me itne busy ho gaye ki khud hi film dekhna bhul gaye https://twitter.com/taran_adarsh/status/721969258205356032?ÿƒ??,fans of sharukh were so busy in prmoting the film on twitter that they forgot to watch the film
"@MeetUunngLee tujhe kasam hai Mia Khalifa ki, aisa kuch kiya toh","@MeetUunngLee I swear you in the name of mia khalifa, if you did anything like this"
the boys: http/URL calvin watkins explains why sunday night games are bad luck for the cowboys and .  .  .  http/URL,the boys calvin watkins explains why sunday night games are bad luck for the cowboys and
e guddu !  !  prestige pe laat pad gayi .  .  :p,listen guddu !  !  got a kick on prestige
RT @SrBachchan : @MuVyz @SaurabhTurakhia @Thekkapoor @AyushMehta3 @NadkarAmit @EFSENAROCKS chalo correction kar lo,rt @SrBachchan : @MuVyz @SaurabhTurakhia @Thekkapoor @AyushMehta3 @NadkarAmit @EFSENAROCKS now do correction
"*Raid in Kejriwal's office*_x000D_
_x000D_
Ashutosh: Kejriwal ji Diwali ho gayee.. Ab red paint kyu karwa rahe ho_x000D_
_x000D_
Kejri: Ise jail me daalo pehle..","*raid in kejriwal's office*_x000D_
_x000D_
ashutosh: kejriwal sir diwali is done.. why are you painting red now_x000D_
_x000D_
kejriwal: first put him in jail.."
"bhagwan jaane, ye pagli hai.","god knows, she is stupid"
@YouTeeee bhai yeh to hillarious ho gea :-D,@YouTeeee brother this became hilarious
Aapa zara West Bengal mein chal rahe tumhare bhaiyon ke dange par thoda gaur farmayeinhttps://twitter.com/_sabanaqvi/status/882526675447066624?ÿƒ??,please pay a little attention to the riots of your brothers running in west bengal
@PoojaMissra Itne saal se Bihar ki road nahi Sudhar payi bas gunde badh gaye  #FailedCMNitish,@PoojaMissra for so many years the road of bihar has not improved only the goons have increased #FailedCMNitish
Mujhe bhi tumne pehle kya likha samajh nahi aaya :-/,I also did not understand what you wrote before
konami se manyata praapt  .  .  .  . hahahaha bohot hi bdhiya,accredited with konami. . . . hahahaha very good
Arvind Kejriwal ka account bhi suspend kar do @Twitter wo bhi pro RW hai.,suspend arvind kejriwal's also @Twitter he is also pro rw
Abe bahut run bnwa diye bee #IndvsPak,listen made many runs #IndvsPak
Kabhi SUBHAS CH Bose & Bhagat Singh ki bhi baat kiya karo sirji....Jisne desh k tukde kar diye us aadmi (Gandhi) ki murti anvaran karte phir raheho @ narendra modiji,sometimes speak about subhas ch bose & bhagat singh sir....then keep unvealing the statue of the person who split india (Gandhi) @ narendra modiji
@MeetUunngLee kya chal raha hai?,@MeetUunngLee what is going on?
"Neeta Ambani: Suno ji mujhe ye RPS team pasand nahi bahot hi kharab hai._x000D_
Mukesh: No problem honey, kal hi Pune shehar khareed lenge_x000D_
#MIvRPS","Neeta Ambani: listen husband I do not like this RPS team plays very bad_x000D_
Mukesh: no problem honey, tomorrow only we will buy pune city_x000D_
#MIvRPS"
Auraton ka awaaz wahan par bhi zyada haihttps://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/658373053005602816?ÿƒ??,the sound of ladies is also more there
revolution .  sampoorna kranti .  change .,revolution . complete revolution .  change .
"Wo sab to theek hai "" lekin Sim card ko reverify abhi bhi karana padega kya ?",that is all okay lekin but we will have to reverify the sim card now also ?
Uncle free ki chutti mili hai.. Uspe kyu nazar laga rahe ho - Chandigarh kidshttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/642192127603052544?ÿƒ??,uncle we got holiday for free.. why are you putting sight on it - Chandigarh kids
Mark haraami tere facebook par jo hai inn sabke paas Valentine's nahi hai. Wish karna bandh kar.,Mark haraami tere facebook par jo hai inn sabke paas Valentine's nahi hai. Wish karna bandh kar.
"@MeetUunngLee maine daaru pi hai, aur nahi hai kuch karne ko","@MeetUunngLee maine daaru pi hai, aur nahi hai kuch karne ko"
"My personal fav:_x000D_
1. Sunny in Damini_x000D_
2. Aamir in Tare Zameen Par_x000D_
3. Akshay in Bhulbhulaiya_x000D_
4. Hrithik in Dhoom 2_x000D_
5. Salman in Wanted","My personal fav:_x000D_
1. Sunny in Damini_x000D_
2. Aamir in Tare Zameen Par_x000D_
3. Akshay in Bhulbhulaiya_x000D_
4. Hrithik in Dhoom 2_x000D_
5. Salman in Wanted"
On The Eve Of Mahashivratri Divine Satsang Of Shri Rama Bhai Took Place In Varanasi . | Asaramji Bapu http://t.co/pemXzToVhb,on the eve Of mahashivratri divine satsang of shri rama bhai took place in varanasi . asaramji bapu
#surgicalstrike pe question nahi karne chahiye Itni samajh election harne ke bad aai . agar pahle hi pata tha to kyon chup rahe .,#surgicalstrike pe question nahi karne chahiye Itni samajh election harne ke bad aai . agar pahle hi pata tha to kyon chup rahe .
Sonakshi aur Sonam jaise aurato ko support karne walo.. Aaj zara ek tweet #Manikandan4London par kardo.. Tumhare paap kam ho jaenge,those who support women like sonakshi and sonam.. today atleast do one tweet on #Manikandan4London .. your sins will reduce
Are Yaha kya kar rh ho. Salman dusre satuts pe aa kar Baat Be karke chale Gaye 4:00am par,hey what are you doing here Salman came to another stage and went to talk at 4:00 am
aisa real me hota h .  .  kai baar to position b change krke try krte h .  .,this happens in reality .  .  many a times it is tried with position change .  .
Super duper hit hai bhai ...,Super duper hit it is brother
"Ashutosh: Bhai kal twitter pe #AAPrilFoolsDay banane ke chakkar me hai bhakts_x000D_
Kejriwal:pic.twitter.com/Ucn4aHMQIh","Ashutosh: brother tomorrow on twitter there is plan to do #AAPrilFoolsDay devotee_x000D_
Kejriwal:"
"ittey dino baad gag aya hey ,  pehle like karke fir pada meny :)))))","after many days sgag has come,  first i liked then read"
ghajab yaad dilaaye school ke din .  .  .  'subah tak sookh bhi jaayega ye' was epic !,awesome reminder of school day. . . 'this morning will dry up'
@Mirchi_Uff bahut cool hain aap .,@Mirchi_Uff you are very cool
"Hello IT? Yaar computer hang hogaya hai. Restart bhi nahi ho raha_x000D_
IT: Ek baar restart kar ke dekh lo.","hello it? friend computer has got hanged. it is not even restarting_x000D_
it: try restarting once"
Aaj Amaye by Jeet Gaanguli & Anwesha Full Mp3 Song https://t.co/rtcX32aiAg https://t.co/0aYFKEzmka,aaj amaye by jeet gaanguli & anwesha full mp3 song
Gayi bhains paani mein!,buffalo went in water
"#Trump ne #ParisClimateDeal kya chhoda "" India mein to bhuchal aa gaya 0 What an irony ..",#Trump left #ParisClimateDeal in india earthquake came what an irony ..
Rashtrapati Bhavan has just one loopic.twitter.com/w9LdydGCHZ,rashtrapati bhavan has just one
I know. Raat ko garba aur nasta hota hai,I know. at night there is garbha and breakfast
"@runjhunmehrotra marathi chaangli aahe tumchi, aai shappath saree madhe diste jhakas tu https://youtu.be/pcomFNgOAFA?ÿ aika","@runjhunmehrotra your marathi is good, on my mother's promise you look amazing in saree"
@angryoungwoman To matlab jis thali me khaogi usi me chhed karogi.. Waah apni saari degree's jala do.. waste of education @brownbrumby,@angryoungwoman so you will make hole in thee plate from which you eat.. just burn all your degrees.. waste of education @brownbrumby
@SritikaDhar Jaa bewafa jaa tujhe pyar nahi karna... Jaa bewafa jaa tujhe pyar nahi karna,@SritikaDhar go unfaithful go do not want to love you... go unfaithful go do not want to love you
congrats. Ab to mere se nahi mangega,congrats. Nnw it will not be asked from me
modi sir aap india mai over load vichle to band kar sakte nahi  .  .  .  .  . jiski wajha se saara hindustan jaam mai fasa hai .  .  . khuch nahi karegi bjp .  .  .  .,"modi sir, you cannot stop overload vehicles in india. . . . . because of which the whole hindustan is stuck in jam. . . bjp will not do anything . . ."
@byomkesbakshi Haan.. Gajab dhaa rahi hai,@byomkesbakshi yes .. amazing.
"""Achcha hua light chali gayee.. Aaj to poorey 1 ghante aaye.. Mujhe aadat nahi daalni light ki""_x000D_
_x000D_
#TweetLikeAPakistani","light has gone good .. today came for 1 full hour .. I don't want to get used to the light_x000D_
_x000D_
#TweetLikeYoungPastani"
Kuch bhi ho is baar Patakhe hum hi fodege ! Watch the new #Mauka TVC by @StarSportsIndia #IndvsSA http://t.co/zwNsKvQ0Cs,"whatever happens, we will burst firecrackers this time! watch the new #Mauka tvc by @StarSportsIndia #IndvsSA"
AUR EK DESHDROHI MAARO SAALE KOhttps://twitter.com/shubHASHISH/status/729597652854177792?ÿƒ??,another traitor of country beat him
@iamGunjanGrunge ye le.. Muh band kar lepic.twitter.com/GrhO6gE1bp,@iamGunjanGrunge take this .. shut your mount
@yugpurushg inki kaum me chakke bhi shaadi karte hai ?@tehseenp,@yugpurushg in their community transversite also marry ?@tehseenp
Says the man jis ke tenure mein saare rape aur murders ke culprits ko sazaa ho chuki hai !!,says the man in whose tenure all the rape and murder culprits have been punished !!
haha! Hamein to bahot khushiyan di Santa Paaji ne,oh! santa sir gave us a lot of happiness
Jaankari ke liye Bata dun ki Pakistan India se world cup me Aaj tak ek match to Kya ek toss tak nhi jita Hai :P ?›ƒ?ªƒ? feeling proud,for your information pakistan never won a match in front of india in world cup not even the toss feeling proud
Saanson ki jaroorat hain jaise zindegi ki liye.. #smogindelhi,"breath is needed, like for life .. #smogindelhi"
kejriwal ki kya krte ho #ana g #modi ko all world salam krti hai,what do you do to kejriwal #ana #modi is saluted by the whole world
@Atheist_Krishna Bhai hai tu apna.. ek baar kya.. tu hazaar baar karpic.twitter.com/521QzrwKJk,@Atheist_Krishna you are my brother.. not just once.. you do it a thousand times
@FaaduTweets bhai so ja,@FaaduTweets brother you sleep
@ek_samosa_dena mera pyar pyar pyar janta baarrr. Daaru on me!,@ek_samosa_dena my love love love public bar. drinks on me!
"yes sir @arvindkejriwal, tears aana lazmi hai. aaj-kal 5 roopaye deta kaun hai? ek chhota wala Cadbury's dairy milk pakda dete hain.","yes sir @arvindkejriwal, coming of tears in inevitable. now a days who gives five rupees? They just hand in a small cadbury's dairy milk"
"tickets selling well for northern lights talk with @someUSER on thurs 8 nov ,  6 . 30pm central library .  to book http/URL","tickets selling well for northern lights talk with @someUSER on thursday 8 november ,  6 . 30pm central library to book"
"RT @diyainsan : Milliins of people had enjiyed #PiousBhandara & looted the divine , spiritual blessings https://t.co/n9G4Bdq77V","rt @diyainsan : millions of people had enjoyed #PiousBhandara and looted the divine , spiritual blessings"
@Priya_Menon Ghalib bhi hamse kuch seekh lete agar hote woh aaj zinda.,@Priya_Menon ghalib also would have learned something from us if he was still alive today
@Being_Humor Case vase file nahi karte bhai.. Apne driver ko bulate hai bas,@Being_Humor they do not file the case brother.. they just call their driver
iski CBI jaanch ke nirdesh de diye gaye hai.,instructions for its cbi investigation have been given.
via @iishitav ! Main bada aadmi ban gaya ,p https://t.co/0J7Bodd3dU
"#ModiScaredOfSonia it's not about Modi ji , every citizen of India scared of Sonia ..","#ModiScaredOfSonia it's not about Modi sir , every citizen of India scared of Sonia .."
"omg ,  bullet for my valentine are coming to the netherlands march 21th .  i might attend that one too :p","omg ,  bullet for my valentine are coming to the netherlands march 21th .  i might attend that one too"
#ManmohanSingh ji 10 saal chup chaap itna kaam kr gaye ke 3 saal ho gaye bol bol ke inaguration krte krte abhi aur kitne kaam kiye hai ....,#ManmohanSingh sir in silence did so much work in ten years that it has been three years he has been inaugrating telling what he has done ..
Dil bhar aaya.. kitni pyaar se gaali di isne.. mujhe doodh peene ke liye keh raha https://twitter.com/nikunj_dixit/status/754372954385813504?ÿƒ??,heart became full.. With so much love he gave a swear word.. telling me to drink milk
guddu bhai agle unit mein gaint mario nd mooon mario bhi aayega .  .  .  .  .  .  . ayyyeeeeee,guddu brother in next unit giant mario and moon mario is also coming ? hurray
Narendra damodar modi g acche din kab ayenge babu. Hai koi upaye.,narendra damodar modi sir when are good days coming. any solutions.
Kyun reply nahi karr rahe ho???,why are you not replying?
@klpe tera dimag to waise bhi ganda hai @sinpulsive @drpoonam,@klpe you mind is anyway stupid @sinpulsive @drpoonam
@Atheist_Krishna ye ladki hamare saath divide and rule wala game khel ri hai @dr_idiopathicus,@Atheist_Krishna this girl is playing the game of divide and rule with us @dr_idiopathicus
Pata nahi logo ko #diwali time PE Hai #pollution ki samajh kyo aati Hai uske phele n uske baad .... ?????,do not understand why on #diwali time people get understanding of #pollution not before or after .... ?
Salu  phone numbe ka sawal hai baba :P,salu it is a phone number question
Koi milne hi ajaye KARACHI UNIVERSITY ir kuple https://t.co/MkRvbNY4VW #occupygezi #direngeziparkigeliyoruz #YandasMedyaLimonSatOnurluYasa,somebody came from karachi university #occupygezi #direngeziparkigeliyoruz #YandasMedyaLimonSatOnurluYasa
"@MeetUunngLee tujhe kuch yaad dilata hu, tu iss Weekend aane wala hai. Nahi toh phir conference call","@MeetUunngLee let me remind you something, you are going to come this weekend. otherwise conference call"
lou ke liye kuch bhi karega types wala? Ishq wala lou?,will do anything for love type? love with love
pakistan : - Haar jeet toh game ka part hai ... Important cheez yeh hai ki sabko batting mili ..!! #IndVsPak #CWC2015 #BleedBlue,pakistan : - defeat victory is part of the game ... the important thing is that everyone got a chance for batting .. !! #IndVsPak #CWC2015 #BleedBlue
@Jagat___Janani Padhai kar le chorripic.twitter.com/uqLacP1pUo,@Jagat___Janani girl you study
Jisko jis issue par outrage karna hai karne do. Tunhara kaunsa phuphi ka kutta mara ja raha hai.,who so ever wants to outrage on whichever issue let them. your aunt's dog is not dying
wide ball mark ki jgh pe brick :) :d,brick instead of wide ball mark
#DirtyTalkIn4Words Monkey mana raha hai ya.. G maar raha haipic.twitter.com/u9lcb19kgy,#DirtyTalkIn4Words are you celebrating monkey.. Or hitting g
@rubikaliyaquat anjana and ap .. change karlo channel . . channel ki izzat wapis ayegi,@rubikaliyaquat anjana and you .. change the channel . . respect of channel will come back
"Khushi ne hamari hamein, maar daala allaaahpic.twitter.com/WC08A2y0gZ",our happiness killed us all
"@Riskiest_Poison Thanks bhai, aap logo ki daya hai :)","@Riskiest_Poison thanks brothers, it is your grace"
KYA SIRF 10K WALO KI IZZAT HOTI HAI?,do only 10k people get respect?
Ye bahot hi adbhut!,this is very amazing!
matlab hadh ki bhi koi hadh hoti hain .  rula diya pagal .,I mean enough is also enough . made me cry stupid
"waisa hi kuch Kavita, waisa hi","something like that, same poem"
"Haan bhai rotating. Maafi de do, aur side bhi.","yes brother rotating. forgive me, and side too."
Padhai karo jaa kar. Too late to stay awake. Go.,go and study. too late to stay awake. go.
Yuvraj Singh ka baap bht khush hoga aaj ... Ghatiya insaan #India loves you #Dhoni,Yuvraj Singh ka baap bht khush hoga aaj ... Ghatiya insaan #India loves you #Dhoni
"@Ach_Balkrishna Sirji , Main aapse judna chahta hoon .. koi achcha Ayurvedic product banana chahta hoon . Kripya mera marg darshan karein .","@Ach_Balkrishna Sirji , Main aapse judna chahta hoon .. koi achcha Ayurvedic product banana chahta hoon . Kripya mera marg darshan karein ."
"JUST IN:_x000D_
BJP Margdarshak Mandal pulls up PM Modi after his ""kuch log ki umar badhti hai, lekin samajh nahin badhti hain"" remark","JUST IN:_x000D_
BJP Margdarshak Mandal pulls up PM Modi after his ""kuch log ki umar badhti hai, lekin samajh nahin badhti hain"" remark"
@7UPIndia ise kehte hai dhoop me baal safed karna #ChatpatakaTwist,@7UPIndia this is called making hair white in sun #ChatpatakaTwist
""" ' Congress mukht Bharat ' followed by ' Gandhi mukht congress ' . @sambitswaraj @TimesNow #WhereIsRahul """,""" ' congress free bharat ' followed by ' gandhi free congress ' . @sambitswaraj @TimesNow #WhereIsRahul """
@huh_watnow ek garam chai ki pyaali ho.. Koi usko pilaane wali ho,@huh_watnow there must be one hot cup of tea .. someone to feed me
Bhai #GST reform ki tarah iska bhi credit lelo fatafat. Log bura nahi manenge.,brother like #GST reform take credit for this also fast. people will not mind
"<May 14: He just keeps on talking_x000D_
May 14 - Nov 16: He must talk more often_x000D_
Nov 16> Mat bol bhai tu bolta hai to surgical strike ho jata hai","May 14: He just keeps on talking_x000D_
May 14 - Nov 16: He must talk more often_x000D_
Nov 16 : you do not speak. If you speak surgical strike happens"
Bharat me #Aadhaar ke naam pe #RightToPrivacy chilla rahe ho aur VISA ke time pe dusare country ke samne nange ho jayenge !,"in india, in name of #Aadhaar you are shouting #RightToPrivacy and at the time of visa you will become nude in front of another country !"
waah.. Waise maths wale achchi philosophy bhi karte hai,wow? people of math also do good philosophy
@pulkit_16 Dar ke aage Jeet hai  Satyendra Verma has proved it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tybez0kwACg?ÿƒ?? ƒ?? #NaamBanteHainRiskSe @MountainDewIn,@pulkit_16 after fear there is win satyendra verma has proved it #NaamBanteHainRiskSe @MountainDewIn
RT @stenodeepika23 : @Gurmeetramrahim #LoveForMSG2MSG2 ka jadooDesho ke sath sath videsho mai bhi hai,rt @stenodeepika23 : @Gurmeetramrahim #LoveForMSG2MSG2 have their magic in the country and foreign
mummy ki baat nahi suni he bhagawan ab kya hoga .  .  .,did not listen to mother's advice oh god what will happen now ..
mil jaldi. Missing bhabhi and Sultaman,meet fast. missing sister-in-law and sultaman
"Koi Bhi #Scheme Ho Ya #Scam Ho "" Jab Puri Duniya Uski Baat Karne Lage Tab Samaj Jana Ke Bahar Niklne Na Time Aa Gaya Hai","let it be any #Scheme or #Scam "" when the whole world starts talking about it, then understand that it is time to come out"
"Bhai aap Dhoni nahi ho, na ho sakte ho_x000D_
#IndvsAus","brother, you are not a dhoni, you cannot be_x000D_
#IndvsAus"
"Every Hindu woman must produce 4 children: Sakshi Maharaj._x000D_
Ah! Bachhe din aane waale hain.","every hindu woman must produce 4 children: sakshi maharaj._x000D_
ah! days of children are going to come."
ab pavilion me india ke liye karega cook .,now cooking will be sone for india in the pavilion.
wide wali eent to sirf deekhane ke liye hoti thi .  .,wide brick is used only for displaying. .
@MeetUunngLee Phir bhi Saadhe 3 ladkiyan! Pakad unhe. Look at the positives,@MeetUunngLee Still three and a half girls! hold them. look at the positives
"Itna accha maal ho ke bhi feminist hai, kya fayda!","even if it is such a good material, it is a feminist, what is the use!"
"bas main duty par lag jaunga aane wale hafte se, tu so jaana.","I willl just be on duty from the coming week, you go to sleep."
"Jinke scooter ho shooter ki chaav, shakal bhi unki cuter hogi. _x000D_
#GulzarMeetsDhinchak","Jinke scooter ho shooter ki chaav, shakal bhi unki cuter hogi. _x000D_
#GulzarMeetsDhinchak"
@SRKswarrior1 abe dono shaant ho jao.. @Miss_Ankiita,@SRKswarrior1 now both calm down .. @Miss_Ankiita
"Pachas pachas kosh door jab gaon mein koi baccha rota hai to uski maa use bolti hai, 'Beta so ja warna intolerance badh jayega'","fifty-fifty miles away when a child cries in the village, his mother says to him, 'son go to sleep or else the intolerance will increase'"
Aajkal woh kutton ke saamne besharam hokar naach rahi hai. https://twitter.com/littlefingure/status/859396548748333057?ÿƒ??,now a days she is dancing shamelessly in front of dogs.
RT @rahulroushan : Misogyny toh dekho https://t.co/HLOI9CSqYx,rt @rahulroushan : see the misogyny
"@TheTweetOfBaba bandhan hai, payal ne machaya shor","@TheTweetOfBaba there is a bond, payal made noise"
lunchar paji ko duniya se koi matlab nahi .  .  .  . khane me lage pade hai wo .  .  .,lunchar paji is not concerend about the world .  .  .  . he is currently focused on eating .  .  .
"@AasthaS_ padh liya na, smart hai tu","@AasthaS_ your study is done, you are smart"
"Kitne Ashwin ko maaroge? Kisi ghar se ek Jadeja niklega._x000D_
#IndvsEng","how many ashwin will you hurt? from one house one jadeja will come_x000D_
#IndvsEng"
"@Nomadic_Soul_ ""Fair"" word pe chadh gaya hai gundaraj ka kohra._x000D_
#NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra","@Nomadic_Soul_ fog of rule of goons has climbed over word ""Fair""_x000D_
#NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra"
"Kuch logon ne aaj lunch mein pet bhar kar dhoka khaya hoga._x000D_
#valentines","some people must have eaten cheat a stomach full today_x000D_
#valentines"
"Awaaz hai, karta hu main","sound is there, I do it"
"Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao. ~ Modi._x000D_
_x000D_
Khap Panchayats: LOLOLOL, Modi ji mast joke hai.. Ek aur sunao","save daughters, teach daughters. Modi._x000D_
_x000D_
khap panchayats: lololol, good joke modi sir.. tell another one"
Need one for Zardari and Nawaz Shareef !! https://t.co/6283x5zkZt,need one for zardari and nawaz shareef !!
"RT @RealHistoryPic : Sushma Swaraj with Lalit Modi and Vijay Mallya singing "" Mere Lalit-Vijay aayenge "" . ( 1995 ) https://t.co/cIONRMjVeY",rt @RealHistoryPic : sushma swaraj with lalit modi and vijay mallya singing my lalit-vijay will come . ( 1995 )
@Biorahul @shilpitewari hamari team chhan been chalu kar diye hain,@Biorahul @shilpitewari our team has started selections
@divya_16_ 4th April ko honge,@divya_16_ 4th will happen in april
@ttrinadasgupta @Alllahdin @ruchikokcha @retardedwriter mujhe TB hai. 2 hatte khatte hai yahan,@ttrinadasgupta @Alllahdin @ruchikokcha @retardedwriter i have tb. There are two fit people
"No Sidhu today, gaaliya kisko deni hai?","no sidhu today, whom to give swear words today?"
Koi frnshp kre ga?,will anyone become my friend?
i can totally relate :d :d,i can totally relate
wah abp news  .  .  .  . keep it up,very good abp news keep it up
palika bazar dilli se 250 rs ki laya tha1994 main .  sare armaan toot gayen they  .,palika bazar dilli se 250 rs ki laya tha1994 main .  sare armaan toot gayen they  .
@coolfunnytshirt autowale to Mohd Aziz ka bhi dard samajhte hain.,@coolfunnytshirt autodrivers understand the pain of mohd aziz
@MohitParmarr thanks bhai :),@MohitParmarr thanks brother
rula diya guddu ,(
"Boss ki wife ko, hathi ki size ko aur Nehra ji ki advice ko saara desh salam karta hai. _x000D_
_x000D_
~ Sehwag","everyone in the country salutes the boss's wife, size of elephant and the advice of mr. nehra"
bhaiya where r u . i can't spot u .......,"brother, where are you? I cannot spot you."
@tweeting_pal jab se aapki shaadi huee hai.. Mein pagal ho gaya hu ,) @Atheist_Krishna @HathwalaThakur
@aanchalator Mujhe aapki fikar nahi.. Saakshi Bhabhi ki fikar hai ,)
When relatives ask, aage kya karneka socha hai?pic.twitter.com/WpWQQbJ7od
don,t forget to go the cvs tomorrow and get the viagara .  we both know you need all the encouragement you can get !  !  ! dreams and visions boo:(
@ROFL_India mujhe bhi milwao iss khushi se ,-P
@MeetUunngLee Hum to ab bhi gareebo wale smiley use kar rahe hai ,)
friday nite after the dwc reading raided sound garden .  .  . 3 dvds &amp, a cd 4 $20 !  cruising home 2 raphael sadiq .  friday note in cny .
@sureshnakhua To Rahul Baba Rashtra Beta hua,@sureshnakhua then rahul is the national son.
"@nainkatary aadhi shakal toh pasand hai mujhe, bilkul.","@nainkatary i like half of the face, of course."
"@BolshoyBooze stunt bilkul nahi tha bhai, naseeb hi kharab hai","@BolshoyBooze it was not at all a stunt brother, luck is bad."
@KumarIve #hajam kese hogi 0 #modiji ney #notebandi aur #GST lakar desh badal diya 0 ab #Antibited tablet bhi aagai dhekhlo wtsaap,"@KumarIve how will it get #hajam 0 #modiji has brought #notebandi and #GST and changed the country 0 now #Antibited tablet has also come, check your whatsapp."
"So you're saying its okay for women to bait , lure and use guys then ?","So you are saying it is okay for women to bait, lure and use guys then?"
Rahul Gandhi : - Yar Bangkok to aa gya but yaha chota bhim ka timing kya hoga ? #WhereIsRahul #RahulOnLeave,"Rahul Gandhi : - friend I have come bangkok, but what will be the timings of chhota bheem here? #WhereIsRahul #RahulOnLeave"
Le bhai @BinaKaheLunga aa gaya islam ka rakhwalapic.twitter.com/dpXoXTHAW7,take brother @BinaKaheLunga here comes the guardian of islam pic.twitter.com/dpXoXTHAW7
"iski toh shaadi ho chuki hai, aur maine kya bigaada hai tumhara? :-/ @Alllahdin","he is married, and what have i done to you? :-/ @Alllahdin"
Iss baat se saaf ho jaata hai ke kanoon ke haathon se lamba apna baburao hai.https://twitter.com/abpnewstv/status/628545892665004033 …,it is clear from this that baaburaav is taller than law's hands. https://twitter.com/abpnewstv/status/628545892665004033 …
Wah. kya kehne!,wow! what to say?
mere pass ab bhi kayi cassettes hain :-),I have many cassettes even now. :-)
@friendlii_ghost oho Kurla ka naam lekar.. Poore TL par badboo failaa di.. Ab TL ko nahana padega,"@friendlii_ghost In the name of gargle, you made it stink all over the TL. Now TL has to take a bath."
hahah .  .  .  .  . inhi harqaton ki waja se once i lost my school sweater .  .  .  . or phir jo daant pari thi ammi ki ufffff :p :d,"hahah . because of these antics, once i lost my school sweater. and then the scolding by mother ufffff :p :d"
@coolfunnytshirt nahi dekhi :(,@coolfunnytshirt did not see.
@twinitisha pyaar se bola pagal,"@twinitisha spoke with love, stupid."
@Lambar_Daar Ab tak wo mili nahi,@Lambar_Daar have not met her yet.
@RowdyTalks ye bhi sahi kaha aapne,@RowdyTalks this is also true.
"supw--socially useful productive work ,  jyadatar bachche hut hi bnate the .  .  .  . ","supw--socially useful productive work ,  most of the kids used to make huts "
@PoojaMissra tumhare muh me ghee shakkar @kamaalrkhan,@PoojaMissra ghee and sugar in your mouth @kamaalrkhan
abhi tak nahi aye salman bhai online?,salman brother has not come online yet?
"#257 : A beautiful girl , who is my FB-friend since 2011 , liked my status today for the first time ever . I am very^infinity happy . :) :)","#257 : a beautiful girl , who is my facebook-friend since 2011 , liked my status today for the first time ever . I am very^infinity happy . :) :)"
"Chhota-mota kaam karega toh Nalasopara jaayega; bada kaam karega, toh Dubai jaayegahttps://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/846265949808353280 …","if you will do small work then you will go to nalasopara; if you will do big work, then you will go to dubai https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/846265949808353280 …"
"Aaja saanjh hui
Mujhe teri fikar
Garma gayi dekh meri beer
Aajana. @Alllahdin","come, it is dusk
I care about you
my beer got heated up after watching
please come. @Alllahdin"
Weekend pe bhi Dilwale khali jaa rahi.. Haha full flop https://twitter.com/MaheshJagga/status/678465816510230528 …,Dilwale is going empty even on weekends. Haha full flop https://twitter.com/MaheshJagga/status/678465816510230528
Abke wale #BJP Bahut bolte,The new ones speak #BJP too much.
@PriyancaBajaj  Jaati dharm se upar utho Ravish.. Ab wo jamane gaye #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,"@PriyancaBajaj  rise above cast and religion, Ravish. That era is over. #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar"
Ye log ko sehi mein milta he ki ... jhut mut ka bol dete hein ... wese v kisko pata chalne wala he .. https://t.co/cLmJ0sK1Dk,do these people really get it or they just lie. Who is going to know anyway?  https://t.co/cLmJ0sK1Dk
@Kahaanify joke tha bhai ro kyun raha hai,"@Kahaanify It was just a joke brother, why are you crying?"
"Song for the day: Seene mein jalan, aankhon mein toofan sa kyun hai?","Song for the day: Burning in chest, why is there a storm in the eyes?"
@BolshoyBooze ab recharge karna hoga to tujhe bolunga. #plscry,@BolshoyBooze Now when I will need a recharge then I will ask you. #plscry
"Rajnikanth's robot Chitti goes to Pankaj Udhas's home. 
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Chitti.
Oh. Chitti aayi hai, aayi hai... 
#WorldPostDay","Rajnikanth's robot Chitti goes to Pankaj Udhas's home. 
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Chitti.
Oh. Letter has come, has come
#WorldPostDay"
@tweeting_pal woh hamesha hoti hai,@tweeting_pal She is always there.
@Gurmeetramrahim #MSGsocialWelfare hey malik din bhar mai mujhse aisa koi karam na ho jo apki najar mai gunah ho @@@,"@Gurmeetramrahim #MSGsocialWelfare Oh lord! May I never do such a deed in a day, which is a crime in your eyes. @@@"
@Gauribee @MohitParmarr Gagu ye MohitParmar bhi gajab aadmi hai follow him,"@Gauribee @MohitParmarr Gagu this MohitParmar is also an amazing guy, follow him."
@DefucktiveHumor sach me hai kya?,@DefucktiveHumor Is it for real?
"Technology sessions rule Day 2 of #GST aur Digital Payment ""Apnao desh aur Vyapar Aage Badhao #DigitalforGST @praveendel","Technology sessions rule Day 2 of #GST and Digital Payment ""Choose Country and carry forth business"" #DigitalforGST @praveendel"
@BhayanakPuppy Happy Vaadh Diwas Bhai!,@BhayanakPuppy Happy birthday brother!
@LoKarloUnfollow ABE KAL KI BHAANG UTRI NAHI KYA ??,@LoKarloUnfollow isn't your hangover from yesterday's bhaang cured already?
Salman sir ki chandi hi chandi..(:,Salman sir has got silver's luck. (:
RT @ekta_singh2k14 : GOOD MORNING .. KAISI HAI MERI AAJ KI YE PIC https://t.co/qgVkLn2jCA,retweet @ekta_singh2k14 : Good morning. How is this today's picture of mine? https://t.co/qgVkLn2jCA
@CertifiedKamina @Alllahdin @ROFLaaLa @friendlii_ghost sab ye jaan lo main daaru nahi peeta bahot zyada,"@CertifiedKamina @Alllahdin @ROFLaaLa @friendlii_ghost For your information, I do not drink too much liquor."
"@NamlaSZ Practical day tha aaj wesy bhi , Sunday ko kon jata hy . 😏","@NamlaSZ Anyway today was a practical day, who goes on sunday."
ben amos doing well @someUSER  . another clean sheet .  he says he's enjoying the challenge of playing regular 1st team football .  #mufc,ben amos doing well @someUSER  . another clean sheet .  he says he's enjoying the challenge of playing regular first team football .  #mufc
amit ji south african ho gaye kya .  .  :o,Has Amit ji become south african? :o
enjoyed the flotus today in fl !  @someUSER u r brilliant .  .  . simply put !  glad i voted saturday #obama2012 #duval http/URL,enjoyed the flotus today in florida !  @someUSER you are brilliant. simply put !  glad i voted saturday #obama2012 #duval http/URL
@raggedtag jo maine kiya hai </3,@raggedtag What I have done.
@BurgerrB Yaar mazaak kar raha hu. @Pluuummm,@BurgerrB Just kidding dude. @Pluuummm
bhohot rone or emotional black mail k baad cassette milti thi .  . or fir poppat ho jata tha .  .  . :(,used to get the cassette after so much crying and black mail. and then it was all spoiled. :(
ok mere saath phn pe baat e karenge?ya whats app pe?boliye jaldi...,Okay will you talk to me on the phone or on whatsapp? say quickly.
AAP - Aadmi Aatmahatya Party #KillerKejriwal,AAP - Men Suicide Party #KillerKejriwal
Kamaal karte ho Pandey Ji! :* <3,Your feats are amazing Pandey Ji!
Main aaj bhi phenke hue condoms nahi uthata. #CondomsFilmyStyle,"Even today, I do not pick up thrown condoms. #CondomsFilmyStyle"
#BJP ye nahi samajh paayi ki sekadoN vyapari jinko Congressi tax vyavshtha ne do number meiN kamaai ke avsar diye wo #GST ke baad short-cut kamaai se chuuk jaayeNgey aur galiyaaN deNgey!,"#BJP could not understand that hundreds of businessmen whom congress tax system gave many chances to earn in two digit, they will be deprived from short-cut earning after #GST and will badmouth."
@Salman_ki_sena waah mohit kya profile pic rakha hai #amazing hai,@Salman_ki_sena wow Mohit what a profile picture! #amazing
"Tu kisi rail si guzarti hai, main kisi passenger sa ghus jaata hu.","You pass like a train, I enter like a passenger."
@AliRazaMangi accha mujhey per different story pata hai .. khair kiya position chal rahe hai,"@AliRazaMangi okay, but I know some other story. Well, what is the position like now?"
Ke #__ Tmhe mjhse kyaa Garz hai ANI_news prashant kishor ne 2 saal pehle script pakda di thi . aaj tak vahi pel rahe h pm sahib .,#__  what is your problem with me? ANI_news the script that prashant kishor handed over two years ago. prime minister is reciting the same even today.
.@ArvindKejriwal bhai kabhi kuchh kaam bhi kar liya kar,.@ArvindKejriwal brother you should try doing some work sometimes.
"after today's bet came in i'm feeling confident with tomorrow's bet: ath madrid ,  juve ,  napoli ,  bayern munich ,  porto #comeon","after today's bet came in i'm feeling confident with tomorrow's bet: Atlético Madrid , Juventus,  Napoli ,  Bayern Munich ,  Porto #comeon"
Namaste Bhai jaan . aap sirf bhai jaan hi nahi aap to hum sab ka jaan hey . aur mera Bhagwan hay sir . Jay Bajrang Bali ..........,"Namaste Bhai jaan . you are not only our bhai jaan but also our life. And you are my god, sir. Jay Bajrang Bali."
yaar sahi hai shaan ke pass to gloves bhi hai khelne ko hmare pass to kuch bhi nhn hota tha .  . :p,"Dude it is cool that Shaan even has gloves to play, we did not use to have anything at all."
"@FotuWali Sachhai hamesha epic hoti hai, bas koi sach bolnewala chahiye","@FotuWali Reality is always epic, just need someone who speaks truth."
RT @ArvindKejriwal : Evidence of BJP saving Sheila ji https://t.co/AjlYr7MEtB,Retweet @ArvindKejriwal : Evidence of BJP saving Sheila ji https://t.co/AjlYr7MEtB
bahut khoob .  .  . aisa english environment raha to guddu ko oxford university mai jaane se koi nahi rook sakta :p :),very good. if the english environment stays like this then no one can stop guddu from going to oxford university :p :)
Achha huwa not out diya warna ye bhikari iske liye bhi 10 saal tak rote. #IndvBan,It is good that they gave not out otherwise these beggars would have cried for ten years. #IndvBan
@ek_samosa_dena yaar koi bharosa nahi hai mujhe uss par,@ek_samosa_dena I do not have any faith in that.
@bolshoybooze ye aapka badappan hai bhai :) hum to jeevan ki aapa-dhapi mein fanse hain.,@bolshoybooze this is your greatness brother. We are stuck in the heat of life.
@melotus aisa bhi kya pyar?,What kind of love is this?
"guddu k pillow b smile kr re ,  guddu ki tarah !  ! ","Guddu's pillows are smiling, just like guddu! "
"My freind - bhai #RightToPrivacy aa gya hai "" ab se girlfriend ki koi bhi baat share nahi karunga","My friend- brother #RightToPrivacy has come, from now on I will not share anything related to my girlfriend."
jinx is broken .  .  .  sa ki toh keh ke le li ,)
"@someUSER @someUSER gonna try using it with sadat ,  will evaluate my progress tomorrow at the library lol .  .  . ","@someUSER @someUSER gonna try using it with sadat ,  will evaluate my progress tomorrow at the library, laughing out loud."
tumko arakshan k siwa kuch soojhta hai ?  ?  ?,Do you think about anything other than reservation?
.@ranaayyub jis din Babar ne toda us din Allah kya soch rahe the?,@ranaayyub What was Allah thinking on the day Babar broke?
kachua sir ne pakda hota to pakka mummy ko phone lagate .  .  .  :o,"If sir had caught the turtle, then he would have definitely called mother."
mutt is high calorific value.. usko botal me daal ke jala..,urine has high calorific value. pour it in bottle and burn it.
"Prachi, jahan ladki ladke ke liye gaa rahi hai. Ye galat hai","Prachi, where girl is singing for boy. This is wrong."
Aise hi time waste kar ke 5 saal nikaal lo.https://twitter.com/narendramodi/status/779715981916667904 …,You can spend 5 years wasting time like this. https://twitter.com/narendramodi/status/779715981916667904 …
Dil cheez kya hai aap mera kutta pehle lijiye.,"Forget heart, take my dog first."
Deen Dayal ji ki itni beizzati nahi sahengehttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/890092649008570368 …,Will not tolerate this much defamation of Deen Dayal ji. https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/890092649008570368 …
@Alllahdin @anpadh00 @retardedwriter @MeetUunngLee @babagkaghanta kaun hai ye?,@Alllahdin @anpadh00 @retardedwriter @MeetUunngLee @babagkaghanta Who is this?
@xtahzy kabhi to kuch logical baat karo bhai. sigh,"@xtahzy Try to talk logical, at least sometimes. sigh"
aakhir kaar shraap lag gaya BC. Shya,"After all, it got cursed BC. Shya"
"tomorrow .  .  . walmart ,  target ,  walgreens ,  cvs ,  kroger ,  whoever .  . i'm coming for that discounted candy .  .  . be ready for it ;)","tomorrow. walmart ,  target ,  walgreens ,  cvs ,  kroger ,  whoever. I am coming for that discounted candy .  .  . be ready for it ;)"
@IALalika @Umarkarim89 @ArifeenIbad No . Ballay Baaz kuch nhi karega,@IALalika @Umarkarim89 @ArifeenIbad No . Batsman would not do anything.
Waah re dramebaaji waah insaan ke zindagi ke saath khelo bass.. Vote toh bewakoof bana kar mil hi jayega #smogindelhi @ashokshrivasta6,Wow dramatist wow. Just play with the life of people. You will get the votes by fooling them anyway. #smogindelhi @ashokshrivasta6
"arey roko usey ,  guddu dvd ka kiraya dene jaa raha hai :p","Stop him,  Guddu is going to pay the rent for dvd :p"
@uble_ande thanks bhai  @zzoker,@uble_ande thanks brother @zzoker
uska pura naam likhunga to subah ho jayegi :/,It will be morning if I write his full name :/
"tomorrow our opportunity to love continues @ the boys &amp; girls club (123 jefferson) .  meet us there at 10am ,  w/ boots and gloves if possible . ","tomorrow our opportunity to love continues @ the boys and girls club (123 jefferson) .  meet us there at 10am, with boots and gloves if possible . "
"@WaggishMe itni aasani se nahi marne dunga tujhe, abhi hamaari date baaki hai","@WaggishMe I will not let you die this easily, we still have our date remaining."
"Arre @AnupamPkher koi Army soldiers ko bhi credit de deta "" jinhine jaan ki baaji lagai thi . #surgicalstrike","Oh @AnupamPkher you could have given credits to some army soldiers, who had risked their lives. #surgicalstrike"
"Chitral : Susoom Me Barfani Touda Girnay Se 11 Afrad Dab Gaye , 2 Bachon Ki Lashen Baramad+Azad Kashmir Me Landsliding Se Senkron Ghar Tabah","Chitral : Eleven people buriend due to fall of an Iceberg in Susoom , corpses of two children were recovered, landsliding in independent kashmir destroyed hundreds of homes."
"Bhool jao #Notebandi "" bhool jao #GST aur Bhool jao Badhali kyoki aaaj hain Diwali .. Wish u all happy diwali ..","Forget about #Notebandi "", forget about #GST and forget about misery because today is Diwali. Wish u all happy diwali."
Mummy : Beta dhang ki sabziyaan khareedna seekhlo ! Future mein kaam aayega 0,Mummy : Beta learn to buy good vegetables! It will be useful in the future.
Rahul Bhat Aap ho confessor ! :P,Rahul Bhat you are confessor! :P
#GST ab chemist bill hi nhi de rhe !! Puchho to dawa dene se bhi mana kr rhe hain!! Rule to ban jate hain.. implement nhi kr pate bas :/,"#GST Now, chemists are not giving the bill! If you ask then they are denying to give medicine also! Rules can be made easily, but implementing them is hard :/"
lekin sabse kam phoonk maarni padhti thi ismein :p,But we had to blow the least in this one :p
@yogi_adityanath ji aapne khud kya kiya #tripletalaq pe womans ke liye ? Ya aap support karte ho ?,@yogi_adityanath what did you do for women by yourself on #tripletalaq? Or do you support it?
haan jo e-mails par aate the.,"yes, those who used to come in emails."
@kitAnurag shakal ka dosh hai. Mere saath bhi hota hai,@kitAnurag It is fault of the face. Happens with me too.
"""Agli baar bhi Modi sarkaar..""pic.twitter.com/gJpXrSjPCw","""Next time also Modi government"" pic.twitter.com/gJpXrSjPCw"
Main apka bohot badaaa fan hoon.. we luv u bhai,I am a huge fan of yours. we love you brother.
"Kam paise wale rishtedaar nahi hote
Kam followers wale bhai _/\_ nahi hote.",Those who have less money are not relatives. Those who have less followers are not brothers.
"seven has 6 shows in top 15 ,  abc 2nd with 5 ,  nine third with 4 .  ten and sbs rate 0 .  http/URL","seven has six shows in top fifteen , abc second with five ,  nine third with four.  ten and sbs rate 0.  http/URL"
sahi hai boss .  woh school ke din .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . kas koi lauta de .,Correct boss. Those days of school. I wish someone could return them.
"""Tujhe sab hai pataa, meri maa"" - Poor husband to wife","""You know everything, my mother"" - Poor husband to wife"
#JNU ko badnam kr k uska bhi #Kashmir jaisa haal banane ka sochi ho #KulbhushanJadhav k liye ek word nhi bola lekin #stonepelter k liye bola,"Do you want to defame #JNU like #Kashmir? You did not even speak a word for #KulbhushanJadhav , but for #stonepelter you sure did."
"""Kent deta hai sabse shuddh paani"" - Muhammad Ali","""Kent gives the purest water"" - Muhammad Ali"
@sona2905 koi baat nahi,@sona2905 No problem
Hamare date ka kya hua?,What happened to our date?
Gujarati players hi Gujarat ko hara rahe hai #ShamefulAf,Gujarat is losing because of gujarati players. #ShamefulAf
RT @payalinsan15 : @Gurmeetramrahim #MSG2RocksPunjab Mehak aa rhi hai ... Fiza bhi Ga rhi h ... Waahhh,RT @payalinsan15 : @Gurmeetramrahim #MSG2RocksPunjab fragrance is coming. breeze is also singing. wow
Nothing is bigger than COUNTRY HUM INDIAWAALE Jo KHUSHI INDIA Ki JEET Me milti wo aur kahi nahi 😍😍 JAI HIND #IndvsSA #IndWins,"Nothing is bigger than country. We Indians, the happiness that we get in India's victory cannot be found anywhere else. JAI HIND #IndvsSA #IndWins"
.@nickhunterr bhai rakshabandan nahi aa rahi.. diwali aa rahi hai. Diwali wali DP lagao,.@nickhunterr bhai rakshabandan is not coming. diwali is coming. set diwali related display picture.
"Bajirao ki talwar par sandeh aur Jadeja ke review par vishwas kabhi nahi karte. 
#INDvsAUS","Never doubt the sword of Bajirao and never believe in the review of Jadeja. 
#INDvsAUS"
Ye #MakeInIndia to badhiya hai but India me pollution ka kya hoga ?,This #MakeInIndia is good but what will happen to the pollution in India?
Log matlab kuch bhi rt kar denge. #lulz,"People really, just retweet anything. #lulz"
"Emo mode on, aaj aansuon se tumhara TL bhar jayega. Maa ki kasam.","Emo mode on, today your TL will be full of tears. I swear on my mother."
"Dancing on kaala kauwaa kaat khaaega
#WIvIND","Dancing on black crow will eat.
#WIvIND"
bina marne wala mario at red sunrise wale page par .  .,Immortal mario at red sunrise's page.
@Jal_Kukdi Tumhara alsi naam batao.. ek tattoo banwana hai,@Jal_Kukdi Tell me ypur real name. I want to get a tattoo.
" "" kon c madam nye mangvaeya hai chalk "" ",Which madam has asked for chalk?
"Jal bin machhli, nritya bin bijli.https://twitter.com/Oinkoo/status/597801927804456960 …","Fish without water, lightning without dance. https://twitter.com/Oinkoo/status/597801927804456960 …"
"Arvind Kejriwal must take over Delhi Daredevils as well. Raita phail gaya hai. 
#DDvsRR","Arvind Kejriwal must take over Delhi Daredevils as well. Raita has spreaded. 
#DDvsRR"
"tu kuch bhi bol yaar uncle, magar ye Bijli cute hai, hai na, @retardedwriter?","Say whatever uncle, but this Bijli is cute, right? @retardedwriter?"
kitne years se aisa hi hota aya h :'(,For how many years has this been happening?
TERE BAAP KA KHAATAY KYA???,What does your father eat?
bhai tera acc 200-400 crore ka hai.. @Humor_Silly,Brother your account is worth 200-400 crore. @Humor_Silly
woh bhi agar aata hai toh kuch lekar jaata hai. Isse dekh.pic.twitter.com/NhR9ZZMcXI,If hecomes then he takes something away. Watch this. pic.twitter.com/NhR9ZZMcXI
"RT @GareebGuy : Daane daane pe likha hai khane wale ka naam , Aur hum illiteracy ki wajah se bhookhe hi reh gaye","RT @GareebGuy : Every single grain has its eater's name written on it, and because of illiteracy we remained hungry."
@ArvindKejriwal ke punjab jate hi sahido par rajniti suru . Aap aayegi to sahido ko 1Cr milege . Low politics #kejri1CrOffer #BecauseOfBabri,"As soon as @ArvindKejriwal went to punjab, politics on the martyrs has started. If Aap comes then martyrs will get one crore. Low politics #kejri1CrOffer #BecauseOfBabri"
@ajayendar haha.. Par ulti maarne ke baad bohot achcha lagta hai,"@ajayendar haha. but after hitting back, it feels good."
"Apne kaam se kaam rakh ke dekho kabhi. Bada accha lagega. Khud ko bhi, aur dusro ko bhi.","Try to mind your own business sometimes. You will like it, and others too."
Jab baat promotion ki ho to hum scams ke bhi promotion kar dete hein .. He na paaji ..,"When it comes to promotion, we end up promoting scams too. Right paaji."
"Pic1: Ek chota sa kaam hai
Pic2: Jaldi se marne ki acting kar Modi ji aa rahe hai
Pic3: OK
Pic4: Bwahaha maza aaya..pic.twitter.com/73jaKnSy5F","Pic1: I have a small favor to ask of you.
Pic2: Modi ji is coming, hurry and try to act dead.
Pic3: OK
Pic4: Bwahaha Had fun. pic.twitter.com/73jaKnSy5F"
#RightToPrivacy Ab koi ye bta do Aadhar card banana hai ya nai ..,#RightToPrivacy Now can someone tell if Aadhar card needs to get made.
shu sthiti chhe bhai tya? Tare pani nathi bharaya ne?,"what is the situation over there? water did not get collected over there, did it?"
"Ek bat Samaj nahi ""aati sare anti-Indians #JNU se hi kyu paida hote ""hai kya JNU me yahi sab chal raha hai...",I do not get it. Why are all anti-indians born from #JNU Is this what is going on in JNU?
Toh ab kare bhi toh kya?https://twitter.com/Achari_Nimboo/status/890532973140889602 …,So what should be done now? https://twitter.com/Achari_Nimboo/status/890532973140889602
ye gana send kiya kyu ? Kisake liye ? Nahi batana #RightToPrivacy,Why sent this song? For whom? Not telling #RightToPrivacy
:D baba twiteshwar ko sab pata hai,Saint twiteshwar knows everything.
"i dont want to talk to no one tomorrow besides evelyn  ,  additi  ,  nathalie  ,  paola &amp; destiny","I do not want to talk to no one tomorrow besides Evelyn, Additi, Nathalie, Paola and destiny."
@RuddyIndian aae maje?,@RuddyIndian Had fun?
@richazjoy kabhi kabhi kismat jaldi khul jaati hai,@richazjoy Sometimes you get lucky earlier.
Agar mushalman ko challange de rahe ho to bro movi m bhar de jholi wali kavali kyo aad ki ?????????,if you are challenging muslim then brother why did you remember bhar de jholi's kavali in movie?
@PoojaMissra Bihar me bahaar ho nitish Kumar baahar ho #NitishKaNakliVikas,"@PoojaMissra May it be spring in Bihar, may Nitish Kumar be out.  #NitishKaNakliVikas"
"@prtxt @GhantaGuy ""lagta hai motor band ho gayi hai. Hawa garam a rahi hai""",@prtxt @GhantaGuy Seems like the motor is off. The air coming out is hot.
kyun pad gaye hain #Diwali #nocrackers #crackerban #DelhiNCR #now #mumbai,why did it happen? #Diwali #nocrackers #crackerban #DelhiNCR #now #mumbai
@lahirip Arey abhi andar aur stock hai. Fancy main dikha dein ya daily use ka?,"@lahirip hey, there is even more stock inside. do you want to see something fancy or for daily use?"
@BolshoyBooze Shradha Kapoor chahiye <3,@BolshoyBooze want Shraddha Kapoor <3
@LoKarDi_RT @bizzarebhide tujh jaise log zindagi mein honge toh  yeh hi hona hai,@LoKarDi_RT @bizzarebhide If people like you will be in life then this is what's going to happen.
"repio ceo neil cox is speaking at chicago's social media week tomorrow about  "" social media &amp; the changing face of employment - check it .  .  . ","repio ceo neil cox is speaking at chicago's social media week tomorrow about  "" social media and the changing face of employment - check it"
@BloodyKamina tu jaa jaakar Babita ji ko dekh,@BloodyKamina You go and look at Babita ji.
".@snapdeal bhai tumhare brand ambassador ka khud ka brand kharab ho gaya hai, throw him away.",".@snapdeal brother, your brand ambassador's brand has ruined, throw him away."
ASSALAMALIKUM.....ap ki aesi jo aadhri dowaye hai jo ramzan k sadk puri ho jaye..............RAMZAAN MOBARAK,assalamalikum..may you incomplete wishes be granted in this ramzan. congratulations on ramzaan
"Friday Faking Release: Dostana (*ing Rahul Gandhi, Akhilesh Yadav) http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/pics/friday-faking-release-dostana-ing-rahul-gandhi-akhilesh-yadav-19334 … #Re","Friday Faking Release: Dostana-ing Rahul Gandhi, Akhilesh Yadav http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/pics/friday-faking-release-dostana-ing-rahul-gandhi-akhilesh-yadav-19334 … #Re"
he he he pitaayi ke beech mein bhi luncher paaji kha hi rahe hain :p :p epic :),he he he luncher paaji is eating even in the middle of a beating :p :p epic :)
"@InglouriousBkof dekha hai re, share bhi kiya hai","@InglouriousBkof seen already, shared as well"
Ab bi Bagwan hi kuch help kar Rahe hai. Hamari govt aur authorities kuch nahi kar payi @ArvindKejriwal @PMOIndia 0 #DelhiSmog,even now only god is helping. our government authorities have not been able to do anything @ArvindKejriwal @PMOIndia 0 #DelhiSmog
"aapki respect karta hu, as aaj se @Dishasatra mission par mere liye ladki dhundne. Jo make up thoda jam lagati ho. Bas","I respect you, from today on @Dishasatra mission find a girl for me. who uses a little make up. that's it."
"@HashtagAman Mood theek rakheen apna, hatthh jodke ahee ardaas hai tainnu","@HashtagAman keep your mood well, this is my humble request to you."
iske liye imaan bech diya hai raddi ke bhaav.,Sold the soul at the price of scrap for this.
Because woh Mamata Di ke #MannKiBaat nahi kar rahe hai.https://twitter.com/firstpost/status/802821954071719936 …,Because he is not doing Mamata Di's #MannKiBaat. https://twitter.com/firstpost/status/802821954071719936 …
"Hariharan: Chanda re, chanda re, kabhi to zameen par aa..
Kejriwal: Aa jaye to thoda mujhe bhi de dena.
Hariharan: *cries*","Hariharan: Oh moon, Oh moon, please come to earth some day
Kejriwal: If it comes then let me have some of it.
Hariharan: *cries*"
#GST par BJP ka U Turn janta ki awaaj thi : 150 Super Bhakt,BJP's U-turn on #GST was the voice of people: 150 Super Devotee
Bhai @iamsrk zara Gauri bhabhi se pooch kar batana aaj oil barrel ka rate #AskSRK,Brother @iamsrk ask sister-in-law Gauri and let us know the rate of oil barrel #AskSRK
@Gurmeetramrahim #PiousBhandara guru ji initiated 5 more humanitarian works on the auspicious day of foundation day,@Gurmeetramrahim #PiousBhandara guru ji initiated five more humanitarian works on the auspicious day of foundation day
ha ha ha...dono milke mera ashutosh mat kato.,"ha ha ha. you both, do not group up and cut my ashutosh."
"@imcomplicated__ keh do ke tum ho meri warna, jeena nahi mujhe hai marna.","@imcomplicated__ say that you are mine, otherwise I do not want to live, I want to die."
i haven't worn makeup since ash wed .  ,o &lt
@iamGunjanGrunge ab jaane bhi de.. Shaadi karke hi maanega kya ,) @iRabbiaa
.@RanaAyyub subah shaam ISIS karti rehti ho.. Jao.. Tumhara to admission test bhi nahi lenge wo log,.@RanaAyyub Dusk till dawn you keep talking about ISIS.Go. They woould not even take your admission test.
@jdshastri26 namak halal hai na ye :) @sardesairajdeep,@jdshastri26 Is he loyal? :) @sardesairajdeep
Bhopal ki ladkiyan hot kab banengi ?? Hey Bhagwan inka kuch karo,"When will the girls in Bhopal become hot? Oh god, do something."
"Dhundne se bhagwaan milta hai, raat ki neend nahi!","God can be found through searching, but not night's sleep."
@ammoloaded holi ki chutti hai Friday ko,@ammoloaded It is holi's holiday on friday.
"@RoflGandhi_ @NaughtyDew_ unblock karaa dey manney,  thaare nu  sharaab pilaau desi","@RoflGandhi_ @NaughtyDew_ get me unblocked, i will give you desi beer to drink"
@iamsonisinghal uspe charcha hogi,@iamsonisinghal There will be a discussion on that.
@LavanyaUrLust jab tribute diya tha .... Toh koi reply nahi aaya,"@LavanyaUrLust When tribute was given. Then, no reply came."
Sahi! Main earphones bhool gaya aaj,Correct! I forgot my earphones today.
"Khaana haath se khao, chamach toh boss ke hote hai.","Eat food by hand, spoon if of boss."
Neend nahi aati hai raaton mein?,Cannot sleep at night?
Delhi main koi abhi pollution under control ka challan kaat raha hai kya? #DelhiPollution #delhiAirpollution,Is someone currently cutting the invoice for Pollution Under Control in Delhi?
Mere Rang Mein Rangne Waali.. Pari Ho Ya Ho Pariyon Ki Rani.. Ya Ho Meri Prem Kahaani.. Mere Savaalon Ka Jawaab Do..pic.twitter.com/75nlAWOaFS,The one who gets coloured in my colour. Be it a fairy or the fairy queen. Be it my love story. Answer my questions.
my sis won tickets for the jonas brothers concert @ fort canning on monday .  .  .  .,My sister won tickets for the jonas brothers' concert at fort canning on monday.
"Airtel 4G girl : "" Abhi mai holiday pe hu aur yaha 4G hona ka koi chance nahi*Guy plays video*Girl : Wow . Yaha bhi . Boy : Vodafone ka hai .","Airtel 4G girl: "" Currently I am on holiday and there is no chance of 4G coverage here."" *Guy plays video* Girl : Wow. Here too. Boy: It is Vodafone's."
: LAST NIGHT MAHASHIVRATRI RUDRABHISHEK ..... Pooja sampanna ... JAI MAHADEV ... http://t.co/7JScg0yY3l,Last night mahashivratri rudrabhishek. Pooja completion. Jai Mahadev ... http://t.co/7JScg0yY3l
"thanks bhai batane ke liye, warna hamne to agle 300 saalo ki planning kar leni thi.","thanks for telling brother, otherwise we would have made preparations for three hundred years."
RT @AfsanaMeet : @Gurmeetramrahim #MSGdedicatesAwardToGuruji Naanu papa yepieee . Congratulations and celebrations . https://t.co/Hn3vFWvdrW,Retweet @AfsanaMeet : @Gurmeetramrahim #MSGdedicatesAwardToGuruji Naanu papa yepieee. Congratulations and celebrations . https://t.co/Hn3vFWvdrW
@Singhlicious ha bhai. On kar diya hai.,@Singhlicious Yes brother. Has turned it on.
Jindagi surr bane jhand na hone paa-ye,"life should get well, it should not become mortifying."
"man , neey p . m .  modi ji aapse appeal hai . vat tex sistam kaanun ko saral tareeke ka kaanoon banaa de","honourable prime minister modi ji, I have an appeal to you. please simplify the system of vat tax law."
GST is like Duckworth-Lewis method... Sun ne me to accha lagta Hai lekin samjh me kuch nahi aata,GST is like Duckworth-Lewis method. Sounds nice but unable to understand anything.
kya kalyug aaya hain  .  tihaad jail mein hi setting hua hoga  .  amit shah was prisoner in tihaad jail and kiran bedi was jailor .  ab kiran bedi salaam thokti hain amit shah ko .,what kalyug has come. the setting must have happened in tihad jail. amit shah was prisoner in tihaad jail and kiran bedi was jailor.  now kiran bedi salutes amit shah.
"""Sab ka maalik ek hai""

~ Rumi","""God is one.""

~ Rumi"
RT @AAPDelhiFeeds : Sangam Vihar - Work of laying water pipeline in Tughlakabad Extension . MLA , Dinesh Mohaniya https://t.co/NL8BAzLbaY
@Gurmeetramrahim #MSGsalutes We also salute papa ji,@Gurmeetramrahim #MSGsalutes We also salute father ji
#GST ka matlab hum na samajh paye toh kya... ek din hamare bacche zaroor samjhenge. School me alag sa subject hoga.,So what if we were not able to get the meaning of #GST . One day our children will definitely understand it. There will be a seperate subject in school.
@iKunaal sab mile hue hai ji @Jal_Kukdi,@iKunaal All are in cahoots. @Jal_Kukdi
"Nahi chahiye gundo ki hahakaar

 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar","We don't want outcry of gangsters.

 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar"
@tweeting_pal public poori tarah tharak chuki hai,@tweeting_pal Public has become completely lewd.
"Taimur jung ke liye taiyaar 
#GodBless the little onepic.twitter.com/ry7Ficeqzm","Taimur, ready for the battle.
#GodBless the little one pic.twitter.com/ry7Ficeqzm"
"Gar main kahu mujhe gate se mohabbat hai, night shift meri chahat hai to kya kahogi?

Is baat ko agar tum main nepali hu ye kehte to achha..","if I say that I love gate, and night shift is my longing, then what will you say?

It would have been better if you had said that you are nepali."
Bs thori si barish hojae ! #ChotiSiKhawaish,just let it rain a little! #ChotiSiKhawaish
Darr ke aage MSD hai.,Beyond fear lies mahendra Singh Dhoni.
Sir ek nzr cmnt pe rkiye or dekhiye kitne sare log apko pyr krte h:),"Sir, look at the comment and see how many people love you :)"
@the_jok_er abhi dekhi price,@the_jok_er Just saw the price.
@vijayeni Yahan hoti toh pakka khilata. Puran poli with aamras. :D,"@vijayeni Had you been here, I would have definitely fed you. Mango juice of Puran poli. :D"
"Sir @bhupendrachaube tuiter pe sambhal kar boliyega, aaj to aapne apni hi lungi utarwa di","Sir @bhupendrachaube try to talk carefully on twitter, you made a joke out of yourself today."
"@runjhunmehrotra Aur,ab aap Kab shaadi Kar rahe hai ?? ","@runjhunmehrotra And, when are you marrying? "
@iamGunjanGrunge Gunju MaPoSe se phone aaya kya  @DiwakarKothari_,@iamGunjanGrunge Gunju did you recieve a call from MaPoSe?  @DiwakarKothari_
"#wednesdaywisdom from the old @someUSER alsip sign: do it now ,  since it will be yesterday tomorrow .  http/URL","#wednesdaywisdom from the old @someUSER also sign: do it now ,  since it will be yesterday tomorrow .  http/URL"
Sab ke sab kya Maggi ka order de kar aaye hai ??,Has everyone ordered Maggi?
@Blusafire Tumne to shaadi karke dil hi tod diya,@Blusafire You broke my heart by marrying.
@zoomphatak ungli se kisko maarne ka plan hai?,@zoomphatak who are you planning to kill by finger?
ye NASA walo se bolega 'aap seedi banatee ho ?',"he will ask the NASA guys, 'do you make ladder?'"
100's of tv shows and movies ... http://www.free-tv-video-online.me/,Hundreds of telivision shows and movies. http://www.free-tv-video-online.me/
@iamGunjanGrunge ok bhai.. saath me ,)
"these lil girls singing  "" birthday cake ""   .  .  .  .  . girl it was yo 10th birthday the other day smh lol","These little girls singing  "" birthday cake "". Girl it was your tenth birthday the other day. shaking my head, laughing out loud."
Elections ka result aate hi #DU #Ramjas #jnu sabhi jagah santi ho gyi....bechare,it is quiet everywhere after elections' results were declared #DU #Ramjas #jnu . helpless
@Prakashjaaju sapne me aayi thi kya bhai ?,@Prakashjaaju did she come in your dreams brother?
Bhai aapse baat karne ko kitna wait kiya hai pls....bhai pls talk to me I need ur help...pls main aapse ek baar baat karna chahti hun pls talk to me...bhai pps help me pls,"Brother I have waited for so long to talk to you, please. Brother please talk to me, I need your help. Please I want to talk to you once, please talk to me. Brother please help me."
"@MehekMahtani Jay BajrangBali.. Tod de dushman ki nali.. I agree with you, Hanumaan is awesome The Ultimate Mahabali #InvincibleHanumaan","@MehekMahtani Jay BajrangBali. Break the enemy's windpipe. I agree with you, Hanumaan is awesome The Ultimate Mahabali #InvincibleHanumaan"
RT @amsobittyagi : Watch live majlis from Sirsa Ashram @ https://t.co/lmQ16E7R7L YouTube : https://t.co/Eon2nhamTm #MSGappeals,Retweet @amsobittyagi : Watch live majlis from Sirsa Ashram @ https://t.co/lmQ16E7R7L YouTube : https://t.co/Eon2nhamTm #MSGappeals
mere toh aansu aa gaye ,(
@ujwala18113 aaj kaye ghalli aahes tu,@ujwala18113 what are you wearing today?
"Teri khud ki shakal poche ke kapde jaisi hai, aur tab bhi dil saaf nahin hai @PWNeha","Your own face is like a mopping cloth, and still your heart is not pure. @PWNeha"
"@dev_surma Yeh kisne kahan likha ""bhai""? Kaahe bina baat ladne chale aato ho? Theek se padh to lo kisne kya likha hai.",@dev_surma Where and who wrote it brother? Why do you want to fight without any reason? Read carefully what one has written.
ha ha ha tabhi to aisa koi dhokha hua nahin :),ha ha ha that's why a deception like this never happened :)
Sare tax khatam karke #GST lagu kar diya bas ab sari jatiyan (cast) khatm karke sabko hindustani bhartiy ghosit kar dijiye @narendramodi,After deleting all taxes you enforced #GST . Now by deleting all of the casts please announce us as Indians. @narendramodi
abey guddu ka religion kyu change kar diya ?  ?  ?  jesus k jageh god likhna tha !,"Hey, why did you change guddu's religion? Should have written god in place of jesus!"
@vakeel_saheba sab bhagwan ki marzi hai,@vakeel_saheba Everything is God's will.
"Delhi - Namashkaar mein Arvind Kejriwal bol raha hoon. Phone mat kaatiyega.

Maharashtra - Aai ghal tujhi tikde.","Delhi - hello I am arvind kejriwal speaking, don't hang up!

Maharashtra - Aai ghal tujhi tikde."
i agree with this cartoon .  bahut achcha doston .,I agree with this cartoon . Very good friends.
final day at bali .  enjoying the last times in sun and temperatures higher then 30 degrees .  .  almost time to going home !,Final day at bali.  enjoying the last times in sun and temperatures higher than 30 degrees. almost time to going home!
RT @bint_e_waseem : Gayle nachne se fursat miley tou khele kuch !,"Retweet @bint_e_waseem : If he get some time out of dancing, then only will Gayle play!"
hadh hai! @gsforever22,Enough is enough! @gsforever22
Oh bhaisahab!! Cheers,Oh brother! Cheers
"girl : main bahut akeli feel krti hu koi dhyan nahi detadoc : ek dp lunch ke baad or ek dinner ke baad change kro , wid edit . :-D","girl : I feel very lonely, nobody pays attention to me. doctor : change display picture first after luch and second after dinner, with edit."
tu Batman ki aulaad hai na? Mar toh nahi gaya na?,"You are Batman's child, right? Are you dead?"
RT @immortal_luster : Baba Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Insaan can not book TATKAL ticket because six people . #RailBudget2015,Retweet @immortal_luster : Baba Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Insaan can not book TATKAL ticket because six people. #RailBudget2015
india ka ek hi bhai h salman bhai (vo bhi acche vall bhai),"India has one brother, salman brother (that too, the good brother)"
bevkoof ladke ye confession page hai  .  .  .  .  .  autobiography nhi likhni hai yaha  .  .  .,"This is confession page, stupid boy. You are not supposed to write autobiography here."
@HashSidhu fakri ki lips >,@HashSidhu fakri's lips.
@premlata_rai yeah! Bachpan se paise jama kar raha tha iske liye :'(,@premlata_rai yeah! Was collecting money for this since childhood. :'(
@manojsirsa @ImRaina abhi usne 50k ke UP pension ke liye apply kiya hai to kuch to karna padega hi na ?,"@manojsirsa @ImRaina He has recently applied for 50,000 UP pension. He has to do something?"
.@Stupidosaur @Johnny_Unchain @Vidyut so jaa bhai,.@Stupidosaur @Johnny_Unchain @Vidyut Go to sleep brother.
"""Boooohooo mummy dekho sab mujhe maarte hai booohoooo""https://twitter.com/waglenikhil/status/605252215935135744 …","""Boooohooo mom look everyone beats me booohoooo"" https://twitter.com/waglenikhil/status/605252215935135744 …"
@someUSER paterno wouldnt be charged .  all hearsay on him and he did do his job (minimal as may be) .  he reported it .  rest is speculation .,@someUSER paterno would not be charged.  All hearsay on him and he did do his job (minimal as may be) .  he reported it .  rest is speculation .
@doubtinggaurav daal mil gayi hoti to accha hota @OpIndia_com @bhak_sala,@doubtinggaurav  It would have been nice if we had got dal. @OpIndia_com @bhak_sala
@clued_up_chic fast forward karke dekhi ?,@clued_up_chic Watched it in fast forward?
@drpoonam Shaadi Mubarak in advance.,"@drpoonam Congratulations for your marriage, in advance."
"""Kisi ke marne ke baad hi uski asli value ka pata chalta hai"" ~ PM Modihttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/810764262863998977 …","""True value of something is realized when it dies."" ~ PM Modi https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/810764262863998977"
Karunesh Jigyasu nawabi masla hai lucknow ka sambhal lo ..!!,"Karunesh Jigyasu is nawabi masla of lucknow, be careful!"
@CelkonMobile #CelkonCheers4India Ab toss jita hai Ab match bhi jitenge,"@CelkonMobile #CelkonCheers4India We have won the toss, now we will also win the match."
bharva bhindi to theek hai .  .  tinday ko kya bolengay yeh to kushwaha sir se puchna padega :p,"bharva bhindi is okay. what will we say to tinday, tha we have to ask kushwaha sir :p"
"tab baat toh tumne agle hafte karni chahiye mujhse, maun vrath jo hai.","Then you should talk to me next week, after all it is silent fast."
Kmal krty ho pandy g itna sara vett??,"your feats are amzing pandy ji, this much vett??"
Array pic toh change kar do Yeh 3:30 wali,"Hey change this picture, this one on 3:30."
@witchybitchygal sab saale pen chor hai,@witchybitchygal All are pen thieves.
@zzoker kya ultimate chichore logo ko tag kiya hai.  @IntellectsOfBJP @CatWomaniya,@zzoker what ultimate frivolous people you have tagged.  @IntellectsOfBJP @CatWomaniya
flop. thaki huee moviee. bigg flo[,Flop. Exhausted movie. Big flop
"kaafi samay baad  .  . aakhirkaar  "" teri suar ki ""  sunne mila .  . :d one of the best dialogue so far .  . from guddu .  . :d :p","after a long time. at last, I got to hear "" teri suar ki "" :d one of the best dialogue so far. from guddu. :d :p"
"Sir do din pehle bhi ek important judgement aya tha #TripleTalaq .... us pr kyu chup ""the #BawanaByPoll tha isiliye. #TripleTalaq",Sir an important judgement #TripleTalaq came two days ago. Why were you silent on that . #BawanaByPoll was for the same. #TripleTalaq
@cynic_wall bipasha horror films zyada karti h . lovely ni :p,@cynic_wall bipasha does more horror films. Not lovely.
"Saraha ka matlab hai, jisne aapko sarhaya nahi hai unke messages khud ke paas hi rakho #RightToPrivacy","Saraha means, keep the messages of those who did not appreciate you. #RightToPrivacy"
@Shah___Khan Rapping ?? Yo Yo Honey Singh ke fan ho kya ?,@Shah___Khan Rapping ?? Are you fan of Yo Yo Honey Singh?
"#GST k chakar me teen addict marre gae. Daaru wale ""bhai Cigratte wale bhai aur POP wali didi.","three addicts were doomed because of #GST . brother with beer, brother with cigratte and sister with POP."
@takshak_speaks vo deactivate kar k bhag gyi .. :(,@takshak_speaks She deactivated and ran away. :(
Kas ma aipka khas friend rahta our aipka karib rahata.kas ma kis.kis ma aip ka kareb hota.mubark ho.aipko roja.,i wish i was your best friend and was close to you. i wish i was near you. congratulations to you on roja.
@hinnaz phone karta hu shaam mein,@hinnaz I will call you in the evening.
sabse bada jhut tha ye .  .  . i also had this :p,This was the biggest lie. I also had this :p
"Uski dosti se doosre jaate hai jal..
This time @witchybitchygal","Others get jealous of his friendship.
This time @witchybitchygal"
@premlata_rai bakwaas naa kar,@premlata_rai Don't talk nonsense.
Very true :-P :-P dude lets form a group,Very true. Dude let's form a group.
aise kaise chhod degi?itni asaani se thode hi chhoot jaata hai Twitter? @IamEJF @UniqueIdiot_,How will you leave like this? It is not that easy to leave twitter? @IamEJF @UniqueIdiot_
"it's nov 2nd ,  at mumbai int'l airport with @someUSER  .  leaving india in 2 hours .  mixed bag of feelings .  #timeflies #bittersweet","It is november second ,  at mumbai international airport with @someUSER . Leaving india in two hours. Mixed bag of feelings.  #timeflies #bittersweet"
Sir rula diya aapne.. itna pyaar @Sand_In_Deed,"Sir, you made me cry., this much love @Sand_In_Deed"
"Bhai @manutd kisi ko khareed lo yaar, ye best striker hai from india.pic.twitter.com/pOVFodcXoy","Brother @manutd buy someone dude, this is the best striker from India. pic.twitter.com/pOVFodcXoy"
we r blessed with tiger biscuits :d :d,we are blessed with tiger biscuits.
"Aayega, aayega... Aayega aane wala... Aayega","will come, will come, will come, the one who comes will come."
"aby ye mms kon si site pe hai  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  link dena koi  .  .  .  . ","Hey, which website is this mms on? Somebody give me link."
Or evidence chahiye #Surgicalstrike ke @sanjaynirupam Abhi ruko jab tak @INCIndia ka safaya NAHI ho jata h pure desh se . #IndiaFreeCongress,Do you want more evidence @sanjaynirupam of #Surgicalstrike . Wait till @INCIndia is eradicated completely from the country. #IndiaFreeCongress
@rajesh150465 hotel me to milti hai.. theke bhi khul gaye hai 4 baje se,@rajesh150465 it is available in hotel. the contracts will get started 4 o clock onwards.
Aaj aane ki zidd na karo.,Do not insist on coming today.
"Aazadi se pehle hi Nehru ji PM ban chuke the, jaise bachha paida hone se pehle naam tay ho jaata hai.https://twitter.com/Funny_Leone/status/691146360087642112 …","Nehru ji had become Prime Minister before independence, just like a child is named before birth. https://twitter.com/Funny_Leone/status/691146360087642112"
Jinki aurto ko sbse zyada divorce milte ho desh m wo log #TripleTalaq p chilla rahe h ..,Those people whose women get most divorces are shouting at #TripleTalaq .
@Rofl_Delhite old pic hai yaar second time use kar raha hun,"@Rofl_Delhite It is an old pic dude, I'm using it for second time."
RT @IndiaToday : Parrikar seeks report from Army chief over semi-nude exam in Bihar https://t.co/v3uM7TBf2s https://t.co/J5sXjGqWYn,Retweet @IndiaToday : Parrikar seeks report from Army chief over semi-nude exam in Bihar https://t.co/v3uM7TBf2s https://t.co/J5sXjGqWYn
@EngineeRoholic Bharat Mata ki jai #ProudToBeAnIndian,@EngineeRoholic Long live Mother India #ProudToBeAnIndian
"@ek_samosa_dena OK OK, aise gande kaam nahi kiya karte, responsibility hai apni desh ki economy badhaana, bahot paise hai cig industry mein","@ek_samosa_dena Okay Okay, we do not do such dirty works, it is our nation's duty to increase economy, a lot of money has been spent in college industry."
@paglapur Maharashtra mein toh hogaya hai bhai,@paglapur It is complete is maharashtra brother.
"@AmitShahOffice @narendramodi @Bihar_BJP pls don't vote in side of #Manjhi bahut wrong msg jata hai party k baare me public me , Plz don't","@AmitShahOffice @narendramodi @Bihar_BJP please don't vote in side of #Manjhi It sends a very wrong message about party in public, Please don't."
jaisi karni waisi bharni  .  .  .,Tit for tat.
Haar gai Mumbai Indians Kutte Ki tarah #IPL #MIvRPS,Mumbai Indians lost like a dog. #IPL #MIvRPS
Tanmay shaadi kar raha hai kya ??  @A_PerfectBlend,Is Tanmay getting married??  @A_PerfectBlend
"@UnSubtleDesi meh khaane se sharab se, saakhi se jaam se.","In @UnSubtleDesi from food from liquor, from liquor from bartender."
sir @OfficeOfRG Pampers achhe hote hain ki Mamy Poko Pants?,"sir @OfficeOfRG which ones are better, Pampers or Mamy Poko Pants?"
@HathwalaThakur haan bhai. Yehi pe aa gaya,@HathwalaThakur Yes brother. It came here.
ht: norwich 0-0 #spurs .  we've edged the 1st half without creating any clear cut chances .  bale's had a couple of decent long range efforts .,heard through: norwich 0-0 #spurs .  we've edged the first half without creating any clear cut chances. bale's had a couple of decent long range efforts .
celeb to tu hai. Naam tere pe aayega,You are the celebrity. You will be blamed.
Yahan #DilwaleMusicCelebration kar raha hai desh aur tum logon ko Kejriwal ki padi hai.,here country is doing #DilwaleMusicCelebration and you guys are worried about kejriwal.
Abhi to party shuru huee hai.. https://twitter.com/akshaykanitkar/status/781386244945158144 …,The party has just begun. https://twitter.com/akshaykanitkar/status/781386244945158144
"@Ra_Bies Dilli ki sardi nahi jam rahi abhi se fatti padi hai, Rum piya ek aadhi botal. Bas","@Ra_Bies delhi's winter is not suiting me, i am in a horrendous state, i drank a bottle or a half of rum."
Aansu aa gaye.. Kya apology likha haihttps://twitter.com/Babu_Bhaiyaa/status/641204411897901056 …,Tears rolled down. What a written apology. https://twitter.com/Babu_Bhaiyaa/status/641204411897901056 
"#friday love that movie ,  kinda awkward watching it on thursday tho  .  .  . ","#friday love that movie ,  kinda awkward watching it on thursday though."
@MeetUunngLee abe group ke msg bhi padh liya kar kabhi bhai @huh_watnow,@MeetUunngLee oye try to read the messages in the group too sometimes @huh_watnow
"Aajkal ghadi ka bhi kaam kar raha hu, social cause mein zindagi beet rahi hai.","Nowadays I am also doing work related to watch, Life is passing in social cause."
@Stupid_minion @AksharPathak @mihirmodi @OpIndia_com @Olacabs kuch to logo kahenge logo ka kaam hai kehna,"@Stupid_minion @AksharPathak @mihirmodi @OpIndia_com @Olacabs People will say something, people's task is saying."
kyun bhai? Isse mere gale mat baandh,why brother? do not tie him to my neck.
@White_Crimes Hahaha guddoo pitaai ki jarurat hai tereko,@White_Crimes Hahaha guddoo you need a beating.
"Inhe viral fever, kamar mein dard, muh mein piles pata nahi kya kya hote rehta haihttps://twitter.com/ANI/status/894906111706382337 …","Viral fever, ache in back, piles in the mouth and what not, keeps happening to him. https://twitter.com/ANI/status/894906111706382337"
Kapil Dev : Mohit Sharma ko halka kar Diya jaaye pressure se #IndvsSA #WontGiveItBack,Kapil Dev : Relieve Mohit Sharma from pressure #IndvsSA #WontGiveItBack
Good deed modi bhai ji......hme hmara desh fir se golden sparrow bnana h....wo spna sch hoga...jiske liye god n apko select kiya h...thnku god...4 modi ji,good deed modi brother ji. we have to make our country golden sparrow again. that dream will come true. for which god have selected you. thank you god for modi ji.
achcha baby.. dekho ladai band karo.. ok,"Okay baby. Look, stop this fight, okay"
@Oinkoo  kal maje aaenge,@Oinkoo  Tommorow will be fun.
#MannKiBaat President ke election liye jatiwad ki rajneeti krne wale log desh bhakti ki gatha gate hai @narendramodi,#MannKiBaat People who do politics of casteism are singing the saga of patriotism for president's election. @narendramodi
Haryana me #AkhileshYadav ki govt aa gayi h kyaa???? Has #SamajwadiParty taken over Haryana???? Bahut rape ho...,has government of #AkhileshYadav come in haryana? Has #SamajwadiParty taken over Haryana? be a lot of rape...
@richazjoy sirf tum hi mere talent ko pehchaanti ho :D,@richazjoy only you recognize my talent :D
Bhai hume lift hi ni dete.....hum to larki nii ha na yarr,"we don't get any lift from brother, we are not girls"
@iamGunjanGrunge abhi phasa hua hai match @newzeland,@iamGunjanGrunge the match is currently stuck @newzeland
bhook lag gayi yaar :(,I am hungry :(
Mauka Mauka ... Chak De India,chance chance. go for it! india
@PWNeha Bas karo. Agle janam mein bahut baar shanti puja karani padegi.,@PWNeha stop. we will have to do a lot of peace rituals in next life.
"*Falguni Pathak Songs*

Before Navratre: Gumnaam hai koi..

Navratre: Bachna ae haseeno..lo mein aa gaya

After Navratre: Gumnaam hai koi..","*Falguni Pathak Songs*

Before Navratre: Someone is anonymous.

Navratre: Be careful oh beautiful ladies. Here I come.

After Navratre: Someone is anonymous."
Ashu yar bs kro. . .,"Ashu, it is enough."
kuchh to zaroor hai :),It is definitely something.
@WatDaDuck_ Yaar bada maza aata hai unko rote dekhkar by God,"@WatDaDuck_ Dude it is really fun seeing them cry, by God."
bhai  .  .  .  .  kolkata aa na  .  .  fish khilaunga  .  .  chabad chabad,"Brother,  come to kolkata, I will feed you fish. chabad chabad"
Jail me Milne aaoge na ?,Will you come to meet me in jail?
@pal36 Har ke jeetne waaley ko Baazigar nahi Dhoni kehte hain.  #WDYLT,@pal36 the one who ends up winning the endgame by losing earlier is called dhoni not baazigar.  #WDYLT
oh an i also picked my starting xi for the 1st bangla test on @someUSER site .  couldnt decide between fidi an tino !  i like fidi tho lol !,"oh and i also picked my starting eleventh for the first bangla test on @someUSER website. could not decide between fidi and tino!  i like fidi though, laughing out loud !"
"No, pyaar kiya to darna kya? Yahin bolo","No, why fear, if loved? Speak here."
Sir sooji hai ? Halwa banwana hai,Sir do you have semolina? I want to make Halwa.
"Matlab kal to chhatri bhi lekar jaane ki zaroorat nahi, ek baadal nahi dikhega aasmaan mein.https://twitter.com/airnewsalerts/status/887674919609188353 …","That means no need to even carry an umbrella tommorow, there would not be a single clound in the sky. https://twitter.com/airnewsalerts/status/887674919609188353"
"#MyLifeInSixWords Theke band hogaye hain, gurgaon chalo!","#MyLifeInSixWords Contracts have shut, Let's go to gurgaon!"
@Integrated_me ulti to wo karegi.. kuch mahine baad,@Integrated_me she will vomit. After some months.
Ok bola to tha tujhe. Naacho,I said okay to you. Dance.
"aunty ab hum logo ne socha hai ke baat nahi karenge yahan zyada, world problems pe seriousness nahi hai logon mein :(","aunty mow we have decided that we would not talk much here, people do not have seriousness regarding world's problems :("
"@FaaduTweets bas saadi hojaabe aisi naari se, saala roj raat gaana gavenge hamre bhaisanwa ke liye @TheVacuumHead","@FaaduTweets if i just get married to a woman like this, i will sing song for buffalo every night. @TheVacuumHead"
"ye bina peeye bhi aise hote hai, kaafi dekhe hai. Aur woh bada problem hai.","They are like this even without PA, have seen enough. And that's a big problem."
@Ra_Bies Sir aaj mat roko kal monday hai,@Ra_bs sir don't stop today tomorrow is dead
RT @sonusachdeva07 : @Gurmeetramrahim #PiousBhandara Apki bhot yaad aa rhi h .... Pitaji Kaash aaj ki sham mein bhi wha hota ! Teravaas,Rat @Sonuschadev 07: @GurmeterMarahim #PiyasBhandara is missing you so much .... Father wish I would be there even today! Tervas
Main haan bolunga to mujhe le jaaogi ?,If i say yes will you take me
bas ho hi jayegi uske baad.,The bus will be done after that.
@miss_cherished Dilli me paise aur jugaad walo ki koi kami nahi @ndtv,@ Miss_Cherish Council No shortage of money and jugaad people in Delhi.
@friendlii_ghost @Dishasatra @Alllahdin @ek_samosa_dena @ROFLaaLa hadd paar hogayi ye gawaaron ki,@ Friendly_ghost @dishastra @allauddin @a_samosa_deena @ roflala huddi ki hoye hai
"RT @MyVaranasi : Thanks to PM @narendramodi Ji , Adarsh Gram #Jayapur transformed into an ideal village https://t.co/ZeKtPpjpNS https://t.co/","Rat @ Meevaranasi: Thanks to Pt @ Narendramodi ji, Adarsh ​​Village # Jaipur Transformed Into Ideal Village Hutpas: //TCO/jaktpjpjpanshttp: //TCO/"
@KyaUkhaadLega kyun? Maine kya kiya hai aisa?,@ Kyukhadga why? What have I done?
Papa ne kaha thha Beta #JNU me kaise bhi karke Admission le lena .. Ab kehate nhi beta #DeshVirodhi nare dene se achha hai gharpe baith,Father had said to take admission in son # Janu no matter how much .. Now son is not better than giving anti-national slogans sit at home
very nice and true ...sabhi parents ka yahi haal hota hai ..... ha haa haa .,Very nice and true. . . This is the condition of all parents. . . . . Hahaha .
Bangladesh won't be able to blame no ball to Rohit Sharma #AsiaCupT20Final,Bangladesh won't be able to blame no ball to Rohit Sharma #AsiaCupT20Final
@LoKarDi_RT waah kya baat kahin hai waah,@Locardi_rat wow what's the matter somewhere
Aaj #Mumbai ki baarish dekh k lag rha hey bhagwan bhi #GST ka wait kar rha tha. #GSTForNewIndia #MumbaiRains,"Today, seeing the rain of #Mumbai, God is also waiting for #Gast. #Gsfournevindia #mumbarens"
- Misbah 4 year's se bewakoof banata aa raha hai . Shoib Akhter .,- Misbah has been making headlines since 4th year. Shoaib Akhtar.
dude those were the days of my life .......,dude those were the days of my life .......
@hindiplz murga chadate chadate bhook lag gayi :(,@Hindupalz cock got hungry while chanting :(
@The_Sleigher Inshallah kal ladke achcha khel le ,)
"Reemand par jaate hue mobile phone haath https://t.co/N0ugIBktO4 virender singh , ise khete hai sarkar se setting . https://t.co/fET4hxZHcw","Mobile phone handheld while going on remand: http://t.co./jugibkto4 Virender Singh, this is called the setting from Circar. Http: //T.CO/Fet4Haszhaku"
"@EkDoctor dil ki hai ye sachi pukar, #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar","@Doctor, this is the true call of the heart,"
"@enjoyinhell me aaptards se dur hi rahta hu, psycho log hai","@Anjoyinhale stays away from the people, psychos are"
"Bhai , tumlog Jet Airways mein baithte hi kyon ho ? We will bring #KingfisherAirlines @TheVijayMallya #MannKiBaat","Brother, why do you sit on Jet Airways? They will bring #KingfisheryRelins @ThevijayMalaya #Manankibat"
modi sir ko namo namo.humko garb hotahe kiuki humare matrubhumi ne yesa birpurus ko janam diyahe.,Namo to Modi sir. We are proud that our mother has given birth to Birpurus.
kam se kam guddu k paas wicket to hain ... ham to eente laga laga k kaam chalate the ... aur eent ludhke naa uske liye usme kachra phasa dete the .. :p,kam se kam guddu k paas wicket to hain. . . ham to eente laga laga k kaam chalate the. . . aur eent ludhke naa uske liye usme kachra phasa dete the. . : p
"#GuessTheSong
 Ya duniya se tu darti hai ya, kadar nahi mere pyar ki","# Gujestasang
 Or is I afraid of the world or not my love"
"""Bhai dekh, Kaptaan hoga tu apne ghar pe, window seat pe to main hi baithunga"" #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/8mJ4oAYLSN","""Brother look, Captain will be at your home, I will sit at the window seat"" #Osuvppease.twitter.com / 8m4oelson"
mt @someUSER free tickets for @someUSER talking about dial m for murdoch on 6th december are available http/URL,mt @someUSER free tickets for @someUSER talking about dial m for murdoch on 6th december are available http/URL
@castrolcricket YUVIIIIIII #ClingOnToTheCup,@castrolcricket YUVIIIIIII #ClingOnToTheCup
@agarwal_sanu abe wo slow khel raha hai,@Agarwal_Sanu Abe playing that slow
BC dost nahi maan raha.. 2 beer ke baad old monk pila raha hai.. aaj to ulti pakki,Just not believing friend .. Old monk is drinking after 2 beers .. today sure
"come out and join us for the sia trek or treat ,october 27th !http/URL it's a fundraiser for the safe house !","come out and join us for the sia trek or treat ,october 27th !http/URL it's a fundraiser for the safe house !"
@Fussy_Ca ye Japan wali Ms Gaand SoongLee ka bhai hai kya?,@Fussy_ Is this Japan's son Gand Sunle's brother?
"arre arre aise emotional mat ho, copy ahi kiya tha. 
 Tu bata tujhe kisine bola kya aise? :-/","Oh hey, be such an emotional opinion, this is what was copied.
 You tell me who told you like this? : - /"
good point he may still be up ... he's off to las vegas !@someUSER @someUSER @someUSER @someUSER,good point he may still be up ... he's off to las vegas !@someUSER @someUSER @someUSER @someUSER
"Sir @ArvindKjeriwal electricity usage kam karne ke liye bhi niyam laagu kar do, odd day par fan chalega even day par a/c.","Sir @ Arvindakjariwal, apply the rules for electricity usage also, the fan will run on Odd Day, come on this day."
@dhaval241086 haha.. Bhopal ka hi hai,@ Dhawal 241086: .. belongs to Bhopal
"@MeetUunngLee kya chutyappa hai, main bhijwau?","@ Meetunangali what is chhutappa, I send it?"
"Bhai "" kisi aur ki #Trump taarif bhi nahi kar sakta kya ?","Brother ""Can't even compliment someone else's #Trump?"""
@Atheist_Krishna iske liye to @iamGunjanGrunge pakistani ban jaaye ,) @iRabbiaa
"Rahul Gandhi:
 2011: Doraemon, Doraemon
 2012: Chota Bheem, Chota Bheem
 2013: Shin Chan, Shin Chan 
 2014: Nobita, Nobita
 2015: Farmer, Farmer","Rahul Gandhi:
 2011: Doraemon, Doraemon
 2012: Chhota Bheem, Chhota Bheem
 2013: Shin Chan, Shin Chan
 2014: Nobita, Nobita
 2015: Farmer, Farmer"
"Meanwhile, lonely love poets on TL be like; ek masala chai ki pyaali ho, koi usko pilaane wali ho.","Manwheele, Lonely Love Poets is written; A spice is a cup of tea, someone is going to drink it."
"Achhi baat hai, aaram kar 2-3 hafte","Good thing, rest for 2-3 weeks"
"@sayshardik lavdu, kabhi mil raha hai?","@Sayardik lavadu, ever meeting?"
"hey guys tomorrow is now national ground hog day ,i hope to see you all post about it !!hahahaha","hey guys tomorrow is now national ground hog day ,i hope to see you all post about it !!hahahaha"
Aapne dinner mein kya khaya?,what did you have for dinner?
"""Sudhar jaa chutiye""
 
 #ThingsIGetaLot","""Sudhar jaa chutiye""
 
 #ThingsIGetaLot"
@someUSER &amp, if the potus wins 2nd term isn't that nj gov gonna go back to bashing him when his state is in better shape (2/2)
"with the amount of chocolate i've eaten today ,i'll just call it chocolate day .and i shall have one every yea- mon- week .","with the amount of chocolate i've eaten today ,i'll just call it chocolate day .and i shall have one every yea- mon- week ."
@BloodyKamina sorry sir galti se mistake ho gaya tha.. Shukr manaye aapke paas Kjo nahi bheja,@BloodieCamina Sorry sir was mistaken for an accident .. Thank goodness nobody sent you
"@YouDontKnowWho_bhai @indiantweeter tu abhi se shampoo change kar le, future me baal nahi hain sirf bacche hain.","@Yodontakanowho_Bhai @IndientVetter, change the shampoo from now, there are no children in the future, only children."
sub ganda hai par dhandha hai ye ..,Sub is dirty but it is a business. .
@dashhtweets Aapke liye free hai,@Dashahatvits is free for you
"LOL, matlab lava moot-te hai aur koyla hagte hai ye log.","Lol, meaning lava is mute-tee and these people hail coal."
"@BolshoyBooze mana raha hu bhabhi ko tere, nahi man rahi :'(",@ Bolshoybuze I feel like my sister is not agreeing with you: '(
@Alllahdin bhai ye ho chuka hai,@Alladin bhai it is done
"kaha new year yar ,yaha github block kar rakha h govt ne .. apko new year ki padi ...:/","Said New Year Man, Gowthab has blocked here. . You got a new year . . : /"
@WaggishMe naamkaran hua nahi hai iska pehla din hai aaj :-D,@Vaggishe naming is not done its first day is today: -D
"the best comic ever read,ever seen,ever imagined .","the best comic ever read,ever seen,ever imagined ."
"haan bro, inhe green tea ke naam par adhrak ka juice pila do elaichi maar ke, aww this is so awesome ya!","Yes, BRO, they drink the juice of Adhar in the name of Green Tea, do Alchi Mari, how was this so awake?"
@narendramodi #RailBudget2015 ki itni tareef karna apko shobha nahi deta . Let others praise it . You are no expert . Don't sound pompous .,@Narendramodi #RailBuzz 2015 doesn't praise you so much. Lathe others price Your Expert. Don't sound pompos.
Pakistan please #surgicalstrike iska bhi Saboot chaiye,Please also proof of Pakistan please
"Musibat ghode pe chadd ke aati hai, aur jaati paidal hai. Hmm Sidhu Ji, that totally made sense. #RRvMI","Trouble comes to the rods on the horse, and the pedestrian is the pedal. Hmm Sidhu ji, Totally Made Sense. #Raravami"
Vodafone wale chutiye sudhrenge nahi.,Vodafone pussies will not improve.
Aaj Pootna ko achchi neend aayegi.. Subah se gaaliyan jo sun rahi hai Twitter par..,Today Pootana will get a good sleep .. Abuses from the morning which are listening on Twitter ..
@Hassoo84 haha koshishh ... Accha koshish kerti hu 🙈 @OmamaGhauri,@ Hassoo84 haha ​​koshishh ... Accha koshish kerti hu 🠙 ˆ @OmamaGhauri
"sir .. samay ke sath sari ummide bujhti ja rahi ,","head . . Over time, all the expectations kept on coming,"
#SamajwadiParty se #Gathbandhan to kar liya unhone .... kya koi #RahulGandhi ji se puchega ki unko cycle chali aati ha kya,"# He has formed an alliance with the socialist party… .Will anyone ask #RahulGandhi ji, do they get a bicycle?"
Bhai koi #BJP #NarendraModi se pucho ke jab koi sarkari ya police afsar rishwat mange to us rishwat par kitna #GST lage ga?,"Bhai, ask some BJP #Narendramodi that when any government or police officer asks for bribe, how much #Gast will be done on that bribe?"
no way...pura ek mahina ramzan ki ibadat k baad eid mey aisi movie kon dekhega jaha hanuman chalisa padhaa ja raha ho....,"No way ... a whole month after the prayer of Ramadan, Eid will see such a movie where Hanuman Chalisa is being read ...."
ek mahine ka break liya tha bhai .kya tabiyat kharab thi ?,"Had a month's break, brother. Was your health bad?"
ha ha ha thanks bhai :),Ha ha ha thanks bro :)
@kritisanon aap bolo aur miss kr jau ... no way,@Kritson you speak and miss cr ... no way
.@AakritiKochar cute lag rahi ho,@AakritiKochar is looking cute
narendra modi is the best pm of india ...,narendra modi is the best pm of india ...
Kyu ro rahe ho?,Why are you crying
Gandu @DefucktiveHumor zyada keeda hai,Gandu @ defunktivehmore is more worm
"Modi has said hud .. hud ..... to "" Hudhud ""","Modi has said hud .. hud ..... to ""hudhud"""
ye meri mazzak udaa raha hai.,This is blowing my mind.
@KeyaSMamma arre nahi.. kal pooja ke baad,@Kayasamamma oh no .. after pooja tomorrow
Secular log #Diwali ki taiyaari kar rahe honge,Secular people must be preparing for # Diwali
Ye Mary Kom ki DP kyun lagaayi hai?,Why is this Mary Kom duped?
@witchybitchygal Tu nathi to thaaro photo pan chalse.. Jo thaaro photo nathi nathi nathi.. Jo thaaro photo nathi to photocopy pan chalse..,@ Vichyabychayyagal If you are not then your photo will play too .. If your photo is not no no .. If you do not have a photo then photocopy will also ..
Navi Mumbai is the Najayaz aulaad of Bombay.,Navi Mumbai is the illegitimate child of Bombay.
abki bar delhi me modi sarkar... har har modi..ghr ghr modi ...,Modi government in Delhi this time. . . Har har Modi . House to house Modi. . .
well said bro Nd modiji jindabad We support wht he said @PMOIndia cus #raincoat bhi kuch ni bolta n #ManmohanSingh bhi,Well saved BRO and Modiji Zindabad Way support is on the side @ Pamindia Kas # Raincoat does not say anything # Manmohan Singh too
Phone kar shaam mein aur mil?,Call and get more in the evening?
"Tu jaanta hai mera baap kaun hai?
 Mumbai Cop: Bhosdichya, side la laav tujhya aai cha gho","You know who my father is?
 Mumbai Chop: Bhosdichya, Side Lav Tujhyai Cha Gho"
PM Modis speed of implementing policies is like a bullet train : Japanese PM Shinzo Abe https://t.co/LNvJPohXn7,PM Modis speed of implementing policies is like a bullet train : Japanese PM Shinzo Abe https://t.co/LNvJPohXn7
@ROFLaaLa @Alllahdin @friendlii_ghost @Dishasatra Pehle TV abhi Print. Ye paid media ke saath 360 degrees campaign karayegi! Shaam ko radio,@Rofflala @Alladdin @Friendly_ghost @dishastra first tv print now. It will conduct 360 degree campaign with paid media! Evening radio
@HaramiParindey hahaha iake saath koi kuch karna bhi nahi chahega :-D,@Harmipinde hahaha no one would want to do anything with it: -D
"@someUSER what lies have they told ?catholics may have been 'ethnically cleansed' in some areas but protestants got it worse ,no ...","@someUSER what lies have they told ?catholics may have been 'ethnically cleansed' in some areas but protestants got it worse ,no ..."
Aur yuvraj ki #SurgicalStrike se Pakistan ke 2 player ghayal .,And Yuvraj's #SurgishaLastrike injured 2 Pakistan players.
slman plzz m apse milna chahti hu....apko ek bar dekhna chahti hu..m apki bot bdi fan hu dil se...reaallyy i like u..i like ur natur..,Salman wants to meet you in plz .... I want to see you once..I am your bottle big fan heartily ... Realy Likes ... Write like Natur ..
Anurag Kashyap's Mahabharat - Nawazuddin Siddique as Arjun killing Duryodhan within first 5 mins of the movie with his gaalis.,Anurag Kashyap's Mahabharat - Nawazuddin Siddique as Arjun killing Duryodhan within first 5 mins of the movie with his gaalis.
"Twitter : Kamzori, Susti evam Akelepan ka gurantee ke saath ilaaj","Twitter: Treatment of weakness, lethargy and loneliness with gurantee"
"@jiteshpillaai vaadh diwassachya hardik shubbhecha, aata tari mala ek baatli paathva ki","@jiteshpillaai vaadh diwassachya hardik shubbhecha, aata tari mala ek baatli paathva"
@JatinKiDuniya @GodrejExpert vo mujhe chocolate dete hai#MyFirstHero,@Jatinkiduniya @godrejexpert they give me chocolate #mafirsthero
@ttrinadasgupta @Priya_Menon haha! Mil gaye mujhe bhi.,@ Trindasgupta @ dear_menon: I got it too.
RT @CricketNDTV : #WT20 : Virat Kohli and Dwayne Bravo are indulging in some banter . Both are going after each other #IndvsWI https://t.co/qK,RT @CricketNDTV : #WT20 : Virat Kohli and Dwayne Bravo are indulging in some banter . Both are going after each other #IndvsWI https://t.co/qK
".@GareebGuy aapke paas ghadi hai, shakalse lagta hai aap kisi raah chalte se hi waqt puch lete ho",". @ Garibguy, you have a watch, it seems that you ask for time only by walking a path."
@Atheist_Krishna bhai tu to aaj aa hi ja,@Atheist_Krishna brother you come today
"our @someUSER 15 celebration continues with this long interview with jim white ,who plays sat .at cats cradle for yr15 .http/URL","our @someUSER 15 celebration continues with this long interview with jim white ,who plays sat .at cats cradle for yr15 .http/URL"
@confusedrjd Lalu and Nitish ne milke Bihar ko luta hai #NitishKaNakliVikas,@ Confuserized Lalu and Nitish together rob Bihar
@ppritam009 pehle jaise tweets nahi aate ab yar,@Paputtam009 Tweets like before don't come now dude
This is bullshit. Y no strict rule is coming. @narendramodi kya sote rahoge. Yaha maa beti behan sab rape ka shikaar banti rahrngi. Band karo yaar. Sarkaar ki dukaan.,This is bullshit. Y no strict rule is coming. @narendramodi kya sote rahoge. Yaha maa beti behan sab rape ka shikaar banti rahrngi. Band karo yaar. Sarkaar ki dukaan.
@HISTORYTV 18 pe #SurgicalStrikes dekhke jaali naa ?? Paytm number De di jiye burnol ke paise bhejhta hun,"@Histreative18 on #SargishaalStoryCase, not forged ?? Give the Paytm number, I understand the money of Barnol"
@ClerkofGod bilkul nahi kiya @notlykYOU ki kasam,@Klerkofgod absolutely no swear by @notlikayou
"@FaaduTweets kuch nahi mila mujhe yaha, mile hai toh sirf followers","@FadVeetus I got nothing here, I have found only the followers"
"@PoojaMissra @BolshoyBooze Abse nahi dekhenge wo channel jispe aate hain inke dwara prastuu kiye Samachaar.
 
 #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar","@Pujamissra @bolshoybuzhe will no longer watch the channels presented by the news presented by them.
 
 #Frazipatrakararvishkumar"
@neha_rathore64 to tum chali jana.. aur gift bhi de dena,@ Neha_Rathore64 so you go away .. and give the gift too
@someUSER i'm going over to britain and ireland's next top mode and jls are performing on the monday and that's the day i was supposed,@someUSER i'm going over to britain and ireland's next top mode and jls are performing on the monday and that's the day i was supposed
@hurdangi LOL! Aisa lag raha hai kha jayega,@Hurdangi lol! Looks like it will eat
"Ye kon se institute se padi hai "" desh ke 30 states kaha se aa gae...","It is lying from the institute from the angle ""30 states of the country have come from where ..."
mujhe laga guddu eklauta beta hai...but ye to 4 hai ...,I thought Guddu is the only son. . . But this is 4 . .
#GSTCouncilMeet meeting ke Baad Diwali se pehle Diwali aa gayi.,"After Diwali, Diwali arrived after #GustConcilMeet meeting."
@DailyVelli Subah se chalice baar yeh puch chuki ho,@Delivelli has asked this forty times since morning
@TheKirfan 😂😂accha accha manliya,@TheKirfan 😂😂accha accha manliya
"@mastrahoyaar hum bhi shukla hain, tum se bade haiaur ye @insane_chorri humari chhoti behan jaisi hain aur ek maa hain. sorry bolo inhe :)","@MasterHoyar, we are also Shukla, older than you and this @insane_chhorri is like our younger sister and is a mother. Sorry, speak to them :)"
is suwar ko bulaya kis ne tha match ke beech me !!!,Who called this gold in the middle of the match! ! !
rajai hahaha .... ek fuski ( choti si paaad ) ho jaye :p,Quilt hahaha. . . . Let it be a puff:
Eid 2015 Hum sath sath bajrangi bhaijaan.,Eid 2015 we together with Bajrangi Bhaijaan.
@LEDtvn tum kehti ho to hum fattu sahi.. Agar isi me aapki khushi hai.. Hum to bas chahte hai aap khush raho,"@Ledtavan you say, we are right, if you are happy in this .. we just want you to be happy"
Sooraj hua madham chand jalne lagapic.twitter.com/PZ9LmjouPR,Suraj Hua Medium Moon Jal to Lagpisi.twitter.com / Pause5LmJooper
luncher paaji ki jai ..kabi to khane se ya khane ke bare sochne se baaj aao ..,Jail of Lunachar Paaji . Never stop eating or thinking about food. .
"Shatrughan: Beta aaj #WorldBookDay hai, batao kya chahiye?
 
 Sonakshi: Wow Papa, mere liye 1.25 kilo samose aur jalebi. Bahot book lagi hai","Shatrughan: Son is #WorldBooker today, tell me what is needed?
 
 Sonakshi: Vao papa, 1.25 kg samosas and jalebi for me. It is very booked"
"@AtheistDevil do* tujhe samjha na,bas.","@Thisitdevil do * Do not understand you, that's all."
@monikadad hospital me ilaaj karwa rahA hun,@ Monikad Hospital
"LOL, baat yahan tak pahonch gayi? :P","Lol, did the matter reach here? : P"
@PriyancaBajaj chinta mat kar.. Ab hogi aiso ki haar #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,@Priyansabajaj Don't worry .. now Aiso will be defeated #frazipatrakararvishkumar
@dashhtweets Zyada hosiery mat dikhao,@ Dashahatvits don't show much hosiery
Itne to film kama bhi nahi payegi https://twitter.com/News18Hindi/status/667209534763569152 …,"Even so, the film will not be available."
@vaibhav_feels inhe toh waqt he khamosh karega #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan,"@Vaibhav_Philas, they will be silenced this time #Biharkajaychandashtrughan"
"inter ,roma keep pace with wins: inter milan kept pace with serie a leaders juventus after seeing off catania 2-0 at the san siro on sunday .","inter ,roma keep pace with wins: inter milan kept pace with serie a leaders juventus after seeing off catania 2-0 at the san siro on sunday ."
"@Jr_Hpatel arre arre, jaane de bhai non violence mein hi sukh hai","@Jar_HapTel Oh hey, brother let there be happiness in non-violence"
@Munna_Bhaya gambhir samasya hai,@ Munna_Bhay is a serious problem
@BabaFirkikaisa hai?,@Babfirki how's it?
@krazyfrog teri beti pepsi piti hai ladkon ke saath,@Crazyfrog your daughter Pepsi drinks with boys
@twinitisha isi baat pe 2 cup chai ho jaaye ? pic.twitter.com/k7ZGrFUl0x,@Twenitisha should 2 cups of tea be the same thing? Back.Twitter.com / B7 Zagarful 0x
great seeing u .i'm host of google+ hangout #romneyrally wednesday of u want invite let me know #lynndebate @someUSER,great seeing u .i'm host of google+ hangout #romneyrally wednesday of u want invite let me know #lynndebate @someUSER
Kya pata .. Kal #Jio Free Ho Na Ho,Don't know .. tomorrow #Jio are free
@UrbanZameendar Yahi paas me dukaan hai@TweetErrant,@Urbanzmindar This is the shop nearby @TwitterRunt
"Courier Guy: Jo bheji thi dua.. Wo jaa ke aasmaa se yu takra gayee hai aa gayee hai laut ke sadaa
 
 Me: ???
 
 Guy: courier return aa gaya hai","The courier sang: The blessing that was sent .. She has collided with the blessings of death, she has come back forever
 
 In: ???
 
 Gaia: Courier Saturn Has Arrived"
Star Swapnil Bhau hai.,Stars are dreamy.
Karan Johar ki gaand mar gayee.. oh wait.. https://twitter.com/IndiaTodayFLASH/status/786852644002275329 …,Karan Johar's ass was killed .. Oh wait .. Http: //twitter.com/indiatodeflesh/states/786852644002275329…
#MinimumBalance #GST sharam aane chahiye ab to Modi Modi Kehne walo Bhako ko..No More Hopes From #NDA ..#ManmohanSingh was far better,"#Minimumumblance #Gust be ashamed, now the devotees who say Modi Modi ... More more hopes from #nanda .. # Manmohansing was better"
@amitmehra Accha tha. Ee aur maradona please.,@ Amitmehra was good. Mr. and Maradona please.
"@someUSER i'm with you on mass effect 3 .thats goty for me so far .still waiting on my other two ,but one may be persona 4 arena .","@someUSER i'm with you on mass effect 3 .thats goty for me so far .still waiting on my other two ,but one may be persona 4 arena ."
"Hello salman jee, , Eid mubarak","Halo Salman Ji,, Eid Mubarak"
heavy rain over parts of ne .some showers in cny .any sun ?how about the weekend ?your forecast first at 4am on nbc-3 !http/URL,heavy rain over parts of ne .some showers in cny .any sun ?how about the weekend ?your forecast first at 4am on nbc-3 !http/URL
"Tere daddy ko mujh pe bhonkne ka nahi, tera peecha karu toh tokne ka nahi.","Do not bury your daddy on me, do not chase you."
@zoomphatak me bhi usi gati se aage bad raha hu.,@ZoomFatac is also moving at the same pace.
Priyanka Sir Rajnikanth ki beti hai ??? https://twitter.com/ZoomTV/status/738633876440907778 …,Priyanka Sir Rajnikanth ki beti hai ??? https://twitter.com/ZoomTV/status/738633876440907778…
@GabbbarSingh Arey matlab is series main ek bhi baar nahi liye 20. Itni buri kabhi nahi rahi. Zaheer Kumble kuch nikal lete the,@Gabbarsingh hey I did not take a single time in this series 20. Never been so bad. Zaheer Kumble used to get something out
"Ab toh aur bhi mehenga ho gayaa ""hoga #GST ke highest slab mein rakha hoga","Now it becomes even more expensive ""will be placed in the highest slab of #Gast"
true. Sab chutiye hai,True. All is broken
@AnupamPkher @narendramodi life mein kuch bhi ho sakta hai,@Anupampkher @Narendramodi Life can have anything
"iske liye pehle papa ko patana padega, phir beti ko.","For this, first the father has to be beaten, then the daughter."
"Sakshi Dhoni to Anushka Sharma: ""Ahem"" #IndvsSA","Sakshi Dhoni to Anushka Sharma: ""Ehm"" #indvassa"
@DefucktiveHumor JDU se bhi jayege ye! Ye toh asteen ka saap hai #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan,"@Defunkatiwehmor, he will also go from Jadu! This is the snake of Toh Sleeve #BiharkajaychandShatrughan"
"Bhai mein apka buhat bra fan hon pakistan,sindh,karachii","Brother, your fan should be a fan of Pakistan, Sindh, Karachi"
Sher agar ghaas se dosti karega toh khayega kya.,What will the lion eat if it befriends the grass?
speechless kar diya bhai tu to ... excellent post yar (y),speechless and diya bhai tu to. General Chat Chat Lounge General Chat Chat Lounge excellent post yar (y)
so apparently tomorrow is national kissing day .i'm gonna eat an entire bag of hershey kisses and call it a day .,so apparently tomorrow is national kissing day .i'm gonna eat an entire bag of hershey kisses and call it a day .
@mahimaaax__ like hell it was . Accha hua purana acc delete kar diya tha maine -.-,Halleit Vas by @mahimas__. It is good that Purana was deleted Aks --.-
Dekho bhai Kejruwal supporter.. Seedhe maa behen pe aate hai.. Jaa bhai tu naali ki paidaish https://twitter.com/NavenduSingh_/status/684055681612156928 …,Look Bhai Kejarwal supporter .. come directly to Maa Behen .. Ja Bhai Tu drain birth
@MeetUunngLee @Chubby Haha! Bhai phone kat,@MeetUunngLee @Chubby Haha! Bhai phone kat
khair ki mummy ne patal/parwal ka bharwa nahi banaya ....dimaag ka chauka lag jata :p,Khair's mother did not make the patala / parwal stuffed. . . . Would have been surprised
Gandhi: Arrey itna chhota font size kyon?https://twitter.com/Singhlicious/status/674624736748576768 …,Gandhi: Why so small font size? Http: //twitter.com/singlesius/states/674624736748576768…
lol it's awesome !mere bag me hmesa chalk rakhti thi morning me classes start hone se phle blackboard pe cartoons bnane k liye :v,LOLIT'S AWESOME! I always had chalk in my bag to make cartoons on the blackboard before classes started in the morning.
@Bhoolwerine tu sirf mujhe hi follow karta hai kya,"@Bhulverine, do you follow me only?"
Kaun hai yeh log? kahan se aate hai yeh log?pic.twitter.com/RSzCGB14k6,Who are these people? Where do these people come from? Back.Twitter.com / Rasajqgb14a6
@PagalChori dene ke liye hi to pucha,Asked only to give @pagalchori
"Bas bajna chahiye Gaza' 
 
 ~ Israel","Gazza gazza gaya '
 
 ~ Israel"
isi liye hr saal cold hota :d :p >:(,That is why every year it gets cold: D: P> :(
"I am bad at twitter , but I am not a quitter . Ganda waala addict ban ke hi deactivate karunga . Yours sincerely , Desi Vella !","I am bad at twitter , but I am not a quitter . Ganda waala addict ban ke hi deactivate karunga . Yours sincerely , Desi Vella !"
"@ankitv - mujhe laptop buy karna hai in which brand , specification aur bettery backup acha ho .. Plzz let me","@ Ankit - I want to buy the laptop, which brand, specification and battery backup are good .. in Plz let"
"Rang Jaiye Holi ke rang "" Padmaavat ke sang !",Go the colors of Holi with Padmavat!
@StarSportsIndia #matchpoint best opener Ajinkiya Rahane consistent effective trustworthy classy !!,@StarSportsIndia #matchpoint best opener Ajinkiya Rahane consistent effective trustworthy classy !!
@shaifali_goel @tannuLP @angelvishii Huuhh .. sad state of affairs .. Mujhe Vish se ziada Laakhan pasand tha .. Vish is good too but Laakhan no 1,@Shaifali_Goyal @Tannalap @Angelvishi huhhh .. Sad state of affairs .. I loved lacquer more than venom .. venom is good you but lacquer no 1
@Atheist_Krishna bhookha hoga.. 4-5 dIn se.. maaf kar dete hai ise @sekhery,@Atheist_krishna will be hungry .. from 4-5 days .. forgive it @sekheri
"Barbad gulistaan karne ko to ek hi ullu kaafi tha
 Yahan..har shaakh pe ullu baitha hai anjam-e-gulistan kya hoga 
 - Shauq Bahraichi","One owl was enough to ruin Gulistan
 Here .. an owl is sitting on every branch, what will be the outcome
 - Hobbies Bahraichi"
Nushrat Bharucha is wannabe Shraddha Kapoorpic.twitter.com/EVOXCTCZww,Nushrat Bharucha is Wannabe Shraddha Kapoorpic.twitter.com/EVOXCTCZww
"#FillTheBlank
 Phoolon mein ka kaliyon mein ___ _ ____ _ tere bina kuch kahin na","#Filteblanc
 In the buds in the flowers ___ _ ____ _ Nothing without you"
"@PMOIndia @narendramodi sir pls aap #GST ke baare me national tv pe jaankari ""de kyun ki jyadatar logo ko including me pata nahi hai","@Pamindia @narendramodi sir plus you give information about #gast on national tv ""because most people are not aware of including"
Mil gaya Mukesh Harane ka videshi bhaipic.twitter.com/U3RMEiJ8yd,Got Mukesh Defeating Foreign Brotherpeace.Twitter.com / o3 Rmanage 8 Yd
"Haan, student loan mil jaata hai Aastha","Yes, faith gets student loan"
Har Har Mahadev .... Mahashivratri k avsar per boht sari sbhi ko meri taraf se bdhai Ho ..... Jay BholeNath,"Har Har Mahadev .... On the occasion of Mahashivratri, my greetings to all of you, Jai Bholenath"
What the F**k!!! Again it happened jitna bhi bolo lekin ye kamine aadami ( culprit) sudharenge nahi kabhi 0 Phir se ek aur Nirbhaya ?,"What the f ** k !!! Say it as much as you have done, but these bastards (Kulpreet) will not improve ever 0 again another fearless?"
@TheDilliMirror Veerji tusee ho o dande aale bande,@ Tahdillimorer veerji tussi ho o dandale bonde
@3DArnab haha. tl ki hi mar lete hai yaar,@ 3 Darnab. Man takes the floor
haaye !!maa ki yaad dila di .. :) love you mom .,Hey! ! Ma ki yad dila d. . :) Love you Mom.
@HathwalaThakur irshaad irshaad @akshaykanitkar @Ra_Bies @UnSubtleDesi,@HathwalaThakur irshaad irshaad @akshaykanitkar @Ra_Bies @UnSubtleDesi
"Aey Hemangi, aaj Swapnil ka birthday tha. Komal ko toh usne sar pe chadha rakha hai. But hai cute. #LadiesCoachTalks","Hey Hemangi, today was Swapnil's birthday. He has put Komal on his head. Butt is cute. #LDSKachtox"
@poisonousbranch abhi 2 hai,@ PoissonosBranch is 2 now
Shruti Performing at music awards Anbe Sivam Her Voice _/\_ #HappyBirthdayShrutihassan https://t.co/3XHIfCXPmK via @YouTube,Shruti Performing at music awards Anbe Sivam Her Voice _/\_ #HappyBirthdayShrutihassan https://t.co/3XHIfCXPmK via @YouTube
@Trendulkar Pardes bhi ho sakta hai ye.,"@Trendulkar Pardes, this can also happen."
"@FaaduTweets kaunu phark naahi padega gajodharwa, hmra naam thode hi Jaan Snow hai?Gore chore pasand aawe hai angreji mem ko @TheVacuumHead","@Fadveetus kownu fark won't gajodhawaa, our name is a little sweet? Gore whores like English memes @Thevakumhad"
Bahut hi badiya Lines .,Very nice lines.
@DeadMaddy bhai sambhaal kar!,@ DealMandy Brother Caring!
@vichupedia wo to waqt hi bataega ,) @huh_watnow
tumhare tweets padh kar bigad jaati hai tabiyat :D,Your tweets worsen reading: D
@neha_rathore64 aap banaogi mere liye ?,@ Neha_Rathore 64 will you be me?
"kuy majak Kr raha h bhai "" aaj hi Maine #jio prime le air cash back bhi mila","Kui jokes kraha ha bhai ""Today I also got #Jio Prime Le Air Cash Back"
@beinghitasha hittu ji 👸 aap kucch accha Sochiye for betterment of society 😐ðŸ˜Å,@beinghitasha hittu ji 👸 aap kucch accha Sochiye for betterment of society 😠😊
"@someUSER way to go .i dropped my ballot marked obama off on wednesday in colorado ,gives you a good feeling .i hope co goes obama .","@someUSER way to go .i dropped my ballot marked obama off on wednesday in colorado ,gives you a good feeling .i hope co goes obama ."
hahaha or allah ko pyari ho gyin ..:),Hahaha and became adorable to Allah. . :)
@Being_Humor abe nahi.. Cousin bhai ko shopping karani hai.. Ladka jaa raha hai Pune TCS,@Being_Humor Abe no .. cousin brother has to go shopping .. boy is going to Pune Tux
@shubhansh1504 mere saath ho chuka hai,@Bushan 1504 has been with me
joo log aaj apne nayee capital ke liyee khush h ... vo log #Dhoni ke captaincy yaad kregee,People who are happy for their new capital today ... Those people will remember #Dhoni's capitency
Achha chalta hu .. captaincy me yaad rakhna - MS Dhoni,It goes well .. Remembering in Capacity - Hans Dhoni
udbilao naam se hi manhooos lagta hai ...:@ :(,The name otters seems wretched. . . : @ :(
Force 2 dekhne ke paise nahi the#DeMonetisationSavesLife,There was no money to watch Force 2 #DemonetisToWesLife
"RT @TimesNow : After 2 cases in Bihar , now , a case filed against Owaisi in Telangana for refusing to say ' Bharat Mata ki jai ' https://t.co/F","RT @TimesNow : After 2 cases in Bihar , now , a case filed against Owaisi in Telangana for refusing to say ' Bharat Mata ki jai ' https://t.co/F"
RT @ClownPrinceG : Such sportsmanship even after losing ! Thoda Modiji Ke saath bhi thoda apni sportsmanship dikhade the ! https://t.co/ssst…,RT @ClownPrinceG: Such sportsmanship even after losing! Thoda Modiji Ke saath bhi thoda apni sportsmanship dikhade the! https://t.co/ssstâ €¦
padhai kar le placement k baad ghar se udda k le jaiyo....sabr ka fal meetha hota hai ,)
"Himmat ho to bhai @Ra_Bies jaisi, varna tweet karte raho politically correct hone ke liye. Bachchon jaise.","If you dare, like brother @ Ra_BS, otherwise keep tweeting to be politically correct. Like children."
Aap koun saa phone use karte ho that is a useless phone......mera message aapko display nhi kar paa rha hoga...warna aap to reply karte hi karte....,Which phone do you use that is a useless phone …… My message will not be able to display to you… otherwise you would reply.
@kamasutra___ aur kuch balo https://t.co/IdYCmdvH5M,@Kamasutra ___ and some Ballo Hatta:
RT @vickynanjappa : Did Bhatkal resident fund ISIS through hawala transactions ? https://t.co/iTvPYKXjKD #bhatkal via @oneindia,RT @vickynanjappa : Did Bhatkal resident fund ISIS through hawala transactions ? https://t.co/iTvPYKXjKD #bhatkal via @oneindia
Ravi Shankar Prasad on #RightToPrivacy 0 This is priceless,Ravi Shankar Prasad on #RightToPrivacy 0 This is priceless
"oh great,,..har din apko dekh ke nai urja milta hai.ap jio hajoro sal sir ji or india ko biswa bijai banao..","Oh great ,, .. Seeing you every day, you get new energy. You make Jijo Hazoro Sal Sir Ji and India Biswa Bijai .."
@herecomessammy Ladka hai ya room freshener?,@herecomessammy Ladka hai ya room freshener?
RT @naseebpathanmlc : Mere walid marhoom Haseeb pathan khan ki 9vi Barsi per unko kheraje aqeedat https://t.co/FochdZGfDU,Rat @nasibbatananals: My Valid Marhum Haseeb Pathan Khan's 9th anniversary kills him Akeedat Hattap:
LOL! Ye whatsapp par mila tha. Ashleel cheezon s ethoda naata durr kar raha hu aajkal,Lol! It was found on Whatsapp. I am correcting my relationship with porn
tu aisa karta hai kya?,Do you do this?
@iamGunjanGrunge Tujhe pata hai tujhe kya bolna hai ,) @Insane_chorri @witchybitchygal
busted @someUSER caught out celebrating the 1st'a cup win with andy carroll and joe hart #beer #jager http/URL,busted @someUSER caught out celebrating the 1st'a cup win with andy carroll and joe hart #beer #jager http/URL
"#GST: Ek Tax ""Registration​ Ek ""Return Ek Hi Bhugtan. Sugam hai ye ""Kar Suvidha hai iski Pehchan'","#GST: Ek Tax ""Registration Ek"" Return Ek Hi Bhugtan. Sugam hai ye ""Kar Suvidha hai iski Pehchan '"
.@AdityaMenon22 chutiye PAN card number likha to hai,. @AdityaMenve 22 pussy PAN card number is written
@virendersehwag paaji autographed shirt chaye #GODji ki 1 st day 1 st show dekhna h #Sachin thebillion dreams ka kuch help kar do,@VirenderSehwag Paji Autographed Shirt Chade # Watching Godji's 1st Sat 1st Show: #Sachin Thebillon Dreams
"20 june 2012 ,out european tour party drove the fabulous road from davos to stelvio .this is the last little bit ...http/URL","20 june 2012 ,out european tour party drove the fabulous road from davos to stelvio .this is the last little bit ...http/URL"
"Wife: Honey pizza ek hi hai, mil-baant kar kha lenge.
 Ashutosh: No worries, 1/1 main kha loonga aur baki bach hua 1/2 tum kha lena.","Wife: Honey pizza is the same, will eat together.
 Ashutosh: No warriors, 1/1 I will eat and the remaining 1/2 you eat."
"@MeetUunngLee Samasya ke middle finger par samaadhan ki angoothi, babaji ki booty. Jai ho babaji","@Mitoonangali, solution ring on the middle finger of the problem, Babaji's booty. Jai ho babaji"
That time of the year when fan has two speeds : 1 ) Is se accha toh haath waale pankhe se hawa kar lu . 2 ) Zor se ... https://t.co/nOdCGcF9e5,"Under time of the year when fan fan speeds: 1) Better than this, air with a fan with a hand. 2) Out loud ... Http: //T.CO/Nodekaghkf9 5"
@zapdeIuxe yar ab usne Pakistan a bhe jana ha . Tayar raho . 2 lakh tak save karo meet and greet . Stalking aur concert ticket ka kharcha,@ Zapdeeux yar ab usane pakistan this is a yes. Be prepared Save 1 Lakh Opportunity Meet & Greet. Cost of stalking air concert tickets
kiram bedi is delhi c . m 100% sure,kiran bedi is delhi cm 100% sure
@kapeildeo mare hue bachcho par bhi ?? Aapke bachche hai ?? @RowdyTalks @Ra_Bies @steppennwolf,@Kapildev on dead children too ?? do you have any children ?? @Roditox @ Ra_BS @ Steppenwolf
@tweeting_pal Thank you but tum to aajtak mujhse mili nahi ho.. Phir logo ko kyu jhoot bol rahi ho,@Twitting_ple Thank you but you have not met me till date .. then why are you lying to people
"@akhil_bits yeah, can gauge it from 0 response. Sirf mujhe hi aisi laundiya mili hai shayad.","@ Akhil_Bits Yeh, can gauge from 0 response. Only I have got such a lotus probably."
Jis desh me Saushalay ke bare me logo ke liye advertisement kar raha he..... Us desh me GST ka kya value he..... #GST #IndianEconomy,"The country in which the person is advising about the solace, what is the value of Gust in that country ..... #Gast #IndianEconomy"
"Soya tha yaar, bahar nikal ke call karta hu","Slept friend, I call outside"
Syria ka video nahi hai. Bagal Jharkhand ka hi hai. Udhar bhi aapke papaji ki hi sarkar hai. Yahi kaam ho raha hai. Thoda akal lagaohttps://twitter.com/AndColorPockeT/status/845969312645025794 …,Syria ka video nahi hai. Bagal Jharkhand ka hi hai. Udhar bhi aapke papaji ki hi sarkar hai. Yahi kaam ho raha hai. Thoda akal lagaohttps: //twitter.com/AndColorPockeT/status/845969312645025794…
Virat Kohli - BHENNNNNNNCHOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD. #IndvsPak,Virat Kohli - Bhennananchauau # Indvspak
"Nasha Kejri hoti toh, khaasti botal","Intoxication Kejri is a toast, a bottle of food"
RT Kaushik22R : Jo Guru hi vo hi Shiv hai is nimita #Rudrabhishekh kia #MahaShivratri ashramindia TruthRoars 14FebP http://t.co/HmPNQhRJvS,Rat Kaushik 22 r: The Guru is the only Shiva who is Nimita # Rudrabhishek Kia
"He: Main tumhare liye taare tod launga.
 Stars: Woh dekh chutya *bro fist* #haha","Hey: I'll break the stars for you.
 Stars: She sees Chhutta * BRO fist * # ः"
"Fake fake and fake mera order aaj 1.5 month baad bhi delivered nhi huaa "" delivered to dur ki baat hai ship bhi nhi huaa abhi tak #fraud","Fake Fake and Fake my order is not delivered even after 1.5 months today ""Delivered is a far-fetched thing not even shipped # Fraud"
"@KShisodia No way, ye auraton ka janam siddh adhikar main unse nahi chheen sakta. I am a gentleman","@ Ksodia no way, I cannot take away the right of birth of these women from them. Shri M. Gentleman"
".@PromiMahmood @A__mrit Yaar tumlog achhe fans ho, bhai ki fans ki tarah nahi ho. Fahad Khan ek din award jeetega life time achievement.",". @PromimMahud @ ShreeMrit dude you are a good fan, not like a brother's. Fahd Khan will win the award for Life Time Achievement one day."
@akshaykanitkar kisko dimaag khapana hai!,"@Akshayakanitkar, who needs to spend your mind!"
Marathi Manasa Zaaga Ho! #AjinkyaBhau,Marathi Manasa Zaaga Ho! #AjinkyaBhau
channing tatum will be in white oak tomorrow ... for all you stalkers out there,channing tatum will be in white oak tomorrow ... for all you stalkers out there
1 .no jungle mario :p,1 .no jungle mario :p
bachpan ki yaad dila di bhai #Hugs,Childhood reminder
@RootKanal uske baare main kuch nahi bolne ka,@Rutknall to say nothing about it
@Chaitanya_13 paisa khatam ho gaya,@ Chaitanya_13 Money is over
"potus was here in boulder today ,with the same old stump speech .meanwhile ,in staten island ,his lower 9th ward: http/URL","potus was here in boulder today ,with the same old stump speech .meanwhile ,in staten island ,his lower 9th ward: http/URL"
"Kitne bhi bade insaan ban jao, pani puri wale ke samne toh katora failana hi padta hai.","No matter how big a person becomes, water bowl has to be spread in front of the whole person."
# team India ko bahut bahut badhai and Virat kohili,Congratulations to Team India and Virat Kohli
@shashi_ks paise to hai nahi tumhari tarah videsh ghoomne ke ,)
flush kaR raha hu @ashutosh83B,flush kaR ra hu hu @ ashutosh83B
@NotThatMP badhai sir :),@NotTump Congratulations sir :)
ye le aur hamesha yaad rakhiyo yehttps://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/474573879642296320 …,Take this and always remember: http://twitter.com/advansadmoshi/states/474573879642296320…
"""Chhupp kar ganoo sab tere liye hua hai""pic.twitter.com/dg4SBPfwwe","""Gnup sab tere liye hai"", back."
@NehaT_ wo sab Tanmay Bhat ke purane ss dikha dikha ke uski le rahe hai,@Nehat_ they are all showing their old self to Tanmay Bhat
"lady gaga fears classmates: los angeles ,nov 1 (ians) singer lady gaga is still in touch with some pe ...http/URL @someUSER","lady gaga fears classmates: los angeles ,nov 1 (ians) singer lady gaga is still in touch with some pe ...http/URL @someUSER"
@GaurangBhardwa1 iska audio bana ke bhej,@GaurangBharadv1 composed the audio and sent it
"Chacha Chaudhary ka dimaag computer se bhi zyada tez daudta hai.
 #WorstChildhoodRumors","Uncle Chaudhary's brain runs faster than a computer.
 #WorkschildMotherrooms"
@Sanjoyjpr @NavbharatTimes @neeerajbadhwar dhanawad sir :),@Sanjoyjpr @NavbharatTimes @neeerajbadhwar dhanawad sir :)
ye sirf diplomatic hogi bhai. Likh le,It will be diplomatic only brother. Write down
"Pyaar to honna hi Ttaa
 (REMO FERNANDES)","Love is bound to happen
 (Remo Fernandes)"
@Taklu_boy kitni maal hai @SunnyLeone,@Tuckloo_boy how much goods @ sunnilone
aapke kahne se nahi ho jayga ... vote to public ko dena hai .. ghamand mat karo .,It will not happen by your saying . . The public has to vote. . Do not boast.
"Bade log hai, baat nahi karte sabse.","Big people, most do not talk."
@ek_samosa_dena kyu? Because Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar,Why a @samosa_dena? Bikose Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar
"kejriwal ...what the use of 70 issues ,you don't last even 50 days last time .","kejriwal ...what the use of 70 issues ,you don't last even 50 days last time ."
"Phatake jalao, liberals ki bhi jalegi #RightWingWaliDiwali","Burn firecrackers, Liberals will also burn #RightingValediwali"
kaay bolu mi? Hi @cricketfreak23 maazya barobar bolat nahi,Who's bolu mi? Hi @ cricketfreak23 maazya barobar bolat didn't
4 indian standard timing means 4:15 ? Pranam bhai ? ..,4 indian standard timing means 4:15 ? Pranam bhai ? ..
why would you still wear shorts when it's this cold ?!i love how britain see's a bit of sun and they're like 'oooh let's strip ! ',why would you still wear shorts when it's this cold ?!i love how britain see's a bit of sun and they're like 'oooh let's strip ! '
kutthe aahes mitra ye ki!,What a mess you are!
to arya samaj mandir marriage conffesn page pe post krti na :-d :-d,So Arya Samaj Temple Marriage Confession does not post on the page: -D: -D
"@indiantweeter @wallflower_ish he is a bloody AAP supporter, mujhe pehle hi pata tha sab mile hue hai ji","@IndiantVetter @ wallflower_ish Hey, is this bloody you supporter, I already knew everyone was alive"
laddoo ki yaad aa gyi is photo se :d :),Laddu remembered from this photo: D :)
@someUSER thanks for the follow brian !hope you have a super tuesday !,@someUSER thanks for the follow brian !hope you have a super tuesday !
@sardesairajdeep not interested in ur any program .. Aur ek baat Bharat Mata Ki Jai ....,@Sardesirajdeep not interested in other programs .. and one thing Bharat Mata Ki Jai….
abe s power ..,abe s power ..
@Alllahdin itte se the tum jab tumhe aise uthaakar ghar le aaya tha :D,"@Alladin, it was when you brought you home like this: D"
@bhaiyyajispeaks Aap hi ne bahot bada push diya,@Bhaiyyajeeksicus you gave a big push
"AAJ saam 8 bje news zarur dekhe "" pTA nai ky announcement ho jaae #NOTEBANDI","Must see the news today at 8 pm ""Announcement of address should be done #Notebandi"
"RT @shubhansh1504 : Chanaa ve ghar aaja ve , Cholaa ve ghar aaja ve ....","Rat @ Shubhanshu 1: Chana Way Home Today, Chola Way Home Today ..."
Kaale neta ka kaala jaadu #YoNitishSoTantrik,Leader of tomorrow or black magic # vaginalism
@murtazaprimas ukhaad le jo ukhaadna hai usse. Chahe woh Obama kyun na ho :D,@Murtazaprimas take out what to uproot. Even if it is Obama: D
#gstrollout kisi ko problems ho ya na ho @INCIndia ko ye problem hai ki #GST 12 baje raat ko kyu laagu ho raha hai... Waah re raajneeti,"#Gastrolaut Whether someone has problems or not @SanSindia, the problem is why #Gast is being implemented at 12 o'clock at night ... Wow, politics"
"aur sunao bhai, kya chal raha hai, bade din baad :)","And tell me brother, what's going on, big day :)"
"Ye lo bhai, logic par sambhar kaise uchhaalte hai dekh lohttps://twitter.com/AbbakkaHypatia/status/885405704865042432 …","Yeh lo bhai, logik par sambar kaise bounte hai dekh lohatpas:"
offensive. Aaj lauki ki sabji hai,Offenseway. Today is gourd vegetable
@sagarcasm ye to mast tha.. But Sagar bhai u know na yaha kaise kaise joke banate hai@palakkadpattr,@Sagarcom it was so cool .. But sagar bhai knov no how how to make jokes here @Palkakkadpatra
tera ghar par aana bandh aajse :P,Aaj dam at your home: today
RT @Viratian05 : Hindi - wo tyre kha gyi English - Ceat tyre,RT @ Viratian05: Hindi - wo tyre kha gyi English - Ceat tyre
"#MakeSomeonesNightIn3Words
 
 Chalo Sote hai","#Mcsomevesnightin3 wards
 
 Let's sleep"
india ko to yuvraj ne w/c dilaya magar is team dam nahi h yaar ... india 100% haregi dosto final h ..,"Yuvraj gave India the opportunity, but this team is not damned man. . . India will lose 100% friends final ."
"Hum bane, tum bane ek duje ki jhand karne ke liye.","We became, you became a duo to flag."
"bhook laagli aahe mala, aani ghari kahi pan nahi khaayla, mhanun tumcha doka khaatoy","If you don't like this item, I don't want you to think,"
"homegrown talent missing on signing day: throughout most of the day on wednesday ,the video scoreboard...http/URL #raleigh","homegrown talent missing on signing day: throughout most of the day on wednesday ,the video scoreboard...http/URL #raleigh"
@G0v_GK hasane k liye kuch ho to bhejo,@GV_Gak send something if you want to laugh
Canada PM explained quantum computing to audience . So what . Rahul Gandhi can also explain escape velocity .,Canada PM explained quantum computing to audience . So what . Rahul Gandhi can also explain escape velocity .
"its november already ..christmas will be here soon ,then new year ,then valentine's day then graduation ?!?!","its november already ..christmas will be here soon ,then new year ,then valentine's day then graduation ?!?!"
@Urban_Stifler sapne suhaane tharakpan ke.,@ Urban_Stiffler dreams of pleasantness
hahahaha jab koi harta hai to yeh hi bolta hai maza agaya ab hay mauqaaa mauqaaa :) :-d :-d :-d :-d,"Hahahaha when someone loses, it only says fun agaya now haye chance chance chance :): -D: -D: -D: -D"
"""Badon ki izzat karo""
 Theek hai, kiske bade hai yahan?","""Respect elders""
 Okay, whose elder is it here?"
RT @JhaSumanta : Well played paaji .. but hum aapse jyada ki ummid rakhte hain .. hope aap aage aur accha karoge .. https://t.co/kE5J4Q7C0j,Rat @ Jhasumanta: Well plaid cad .. But we hope for more from you .. Hope you will do better .. Http: //TCO/K5J4Q7K
@Prec0g Bhai kal wala video mast tha ,)
Hadh hai https://twitter.com/retardedwriter/status/745690647483424768 …,The extent is Http: //twitter.com/partnership/states/745690647483424768…
#businessnews p&amp,g shifts top executives to singapore: us consumer giant procter and gamble (p&amp
"Naam par mat jaao, kaam par jaao.
 Naam dekho toh Nawaz mein bhi Sharif hai aur Jethmalani mein Ram.","Do not go on the name, go to work.
 Naam Dekho Toh Nawaz also has Sharif and Jethmalani has Ram."
"@arungokulvs JDU jaegi har, ab aage badhega Bihar. #NitishKaNakliVikas","@Rungokulvus jadu jaagi hai, now Bihar will move forward. #NitishKanKliVikas"
Man held for Overseas MBBS Admission Fraud in Salem - Thanthi TV - TamilTwin http://t.co/mZMFZm5oUV,Man held for Overseas MBBS Admission Fraud in Salem - Thanthi TV - TamilTwin http://t.co/mZMFZm5oUV
headlines: nadal confirms for mexican open in february: rafael nadal plans to play at the mexican open in februa ...http/URL,headlines: nadal confirms for mexican open in february: rafael nadal plans to play at the mexican open in februa ...http/URL
behen marwaogi tum mujhe@DesiMentions,Sister will make you die @ Descriptions
Desh ka Yuva apni maraane mein laga huwa hai. #AaaakThooo,The youth of the country is engaged in its death. #Account
Agar ek baap ki aulaad ho to RT karo.,"If there is one father's child, then chant."
@Atheist_Krishna Bittoo ki bhua aur @Jal_Kukdi ki DP kitni match hoti hai,@ Atheist_krishna bittu's bone and @ jala_kukdi's match is so much match
@SonyLIV1. Ananya & Abhishek #LoveBytes,@SonyLIV 1. Ananya & Abhishek #LoveBytes
@someUSER saturday i buy my ticket for the #tmhtour in belgium !i'm so happy !!!!,@someUSER saturday i buy my ticket for the #tmhtour in belgium !i'm so happy !!!!
tomorrow is the release of the 20th anniversary kniteforce boxset featuring many remixes including mine of super sunday !$92 at the store !,tomorrow is the release of the 20th anniversary kniteforce boxset featuring many remixes including mine of super sunday !$92 at the store !
"kyun. hilana hai?desh main stability hain,development hain,instability kyun chahiye?pakistan se paisa liye ho kya ?","Why Shake it? There is stability in the country, there is development, why need instability? Have you taken money from Pakistan?"
Amazon apni dukan hai fir bhi kuch lene ke liye paise dene padte hai. wtf.,"Amazon has its own shop, yet has to pay to get something. Wt."
@pacificleo Crafts Museum . Bhairon road . Delhi .,@pacificleo Crafts Museum . Bhairon road . Delhi .
"@jiteshpillaai Tumcha kaay ubha zhala temi vicharla kaay, tochun bolu naka","@jiteshpillaai Tumcha who has been victorious for many years,"
Ek nai kahani dekhne ko behad utsuk hai.love you sallu bhai.bhaijaan.,Very curious to see a new story. Love u Sallu Bhai.
kaam nikal liya bande ne #Respect,Bande took the #Respect
"big fan of the holidays that just involve partying: st .patrick's ,4th of july ,halloween ,presidents day ,etc .","big fan of the holidays that just involve partying: st .patrick's ,4th of july ,halloween ,presidents day ,etc ."
@c_aashish @sambha_bhilane chhat(rooftop) wala nahi count hai. Chhat par joh khelte hain,@ Sashish @ sambha_ is not a rooftop count. Play on the roof
Log aajkal khud pe sly maarte hai.. Lagta hai AAP ka supporter hai pic.twitter.com/wxsB7ZKLLH,People nowadays kill themselves .. Looks like your supporter is back.Twitter.com / Yr 7 Jaklalah
@Vyomnaut Indian Police. Kyuki wohi ek jagah jaha saare cases solve ho jaate hai,@ Vyomnaut Indian Police. Because that's where all the cases get solved
his team is totally isi funded to destabilize delhi .,his team is totally isi funded to destabilize delhi .
"The ultimate truth is, sab chutiye hai.","The ultimate truth is, sab chutiye hai."
hum toh moped par teen baithte the ...,We used to sit three on Toh mopeds. . .
@huh_watnow mujhe teri zarurat hai..,@ Han_watno i need you ..
@harishrawatcmuk ganna payment karwa do last year ( 2014-15)ka Bhi balance hai,@HariSharawatakmuk is also the balance of sugarcane payment do last year (2014-15)
"Hamare country ka ek chhota sa politician bhi dhayan bhatka ke kaam karwa leta Hai "" is baar to neta log aur mudda bhi bada Hai "" #GujaratElection2017 "" #GST #RafaleDeal and","Hamare country ka ek chhota sa politician bhi dhayan bhatka ke kaam karwa leta hai ""is baar to neta log aur mudda bhi bada hai"" # GujaratElection2017 ""#GST #RafaleDeal and"
"Sach kaha bhai, mard ka dard mard hi samajh sakta hai.
 https://twitter.com/NaughtyDew_/status/638378716708519936 …","Truth told brother, only man can understand the pain of man.
 Http: //twitter.com/naughatidev_/states/638378716708519936…"
@A_UoW lolol aage badho hum tumhaare saath nhi h,@ Shrill lol go ahead we are not with you
"@Punjaabi_Tadkaa Was just thinking aaj ladkiyan bahut hain TL pe, phir dhyan gaya ki tum DP badal badal ke tweet kar rahi ho","@ Punjabi_tadka was just thinking today girls are on the floor, then notice that you are tweeting dup badal badal"
"supw ka period was fun- all kv students know it ,right kvians .head down karke baithe raho .","supw ka period was fun- all kv students know it ,right kvians .head down karke baithe raho ."
@Oinkoo hard but kabhi kabhi ho jata hai,@Inku gets hard butt sometimes
"yeah. Deepika Padukone, usko dekhne ka man to hoga kam se kam","This Deepika Padukone, would like to see her at least"
Shahrukh Khan fair & lovely laga ke baadshah bana tha.,Shahrukh Khan was made the king of Fair & Lovely Laga.
i guess m the only one jisko supw ka full form tk pta nai hota tha uss time pe ..:p :d,i guess m the only one jisko supw ka full form tk pta nai hota tha uss time pe ..:p :d
"mich Maushi, aga baaya tula samaz naahi ka?","If not, who is not?"
"Holi abhi door hai kya ? #watersaving ka twit nahi aa raha hai #Bollywood "" #Librals aur NGOs ke taraf se "" na hi koi News Channel kuchh kah rahen hain ..","Is Holi far away? #Watersaving's tweet is not coming #Bollywood ""#Librals & Gangs"" Nor are any news channels saying anything .."
Lol barkha ji kamaal karti hainpic.twitter.com/n2Q8S7pILp,Lol Barkha ji does wonderspic.twitter.com / o2 Q8 S7 Pilp
At funeral of Sahara chief's mother : Amitabh to Akhilesh https://t.co/P5ofQnTcyf https://t.co/b6wHGXL1R5,At funeral of Sahara chief's mother : Amitabh to Akhilesh https://t.co/P5ofQnTcyf https://t.co/b6wHGXL1R5
@BeingSalmaniac1 Raina Nahi Yuvi Paa As A Finisher :P Dhoni ka 5 Accha hai .. Jadeja-Pandya Toh Jhaat Ke All rounder hai😂,@ BeingSalmaniac1 Raina Nahi Yuvi Paa As A Finisher: P Dhoni ka 5 Accha hai .. Jadeja-Pandya Toh Jhaat Ke All rounder hai😠‚
"""Mattar chheelne ko bolo toh hota nahi maharani ji se, naina chhilwa kar bethi hain"" ~ Some Indian mom somewhere probably","""Speak to peel the peas, it doesn't happen to the Queen, Naina is sitting back peeling"" ~ Some Indian mom somewhere probably"
@suhellseth shaadi ka laddoo @twinitisha,@SuhelSeth Wedding Laddu @Twenitisha
"Jiyaa tu bihar ke Laala, Jiyaa tu hajjaar saalahttps://twitter.com/ZeeNews/status/743337442074255360 …","Jia Tu Bihar or Lal, Jia to Thousand SalahTops: //twitter.com/zinez/stats/1…"
@urjourno madam tumhi marathi vachu shakta? @Dev_Fadnavis,@urjourno madam tumhi mathi vachu shakta @Dev_Fadnavis
@Oinkoo Afg hai Aap nahi,@Inku is not afg you
Ye murmuring ki hobe hai? Koi yaun sambandhit cheez hai ka?,Is this the hobby of Murmuring? Is there anything sexual related?
Pyar phaila rahe ho ya bimaari?https://twitter.com/Wassiwasso/status/806940047031332864 …,Loved file or illness? Hotspots: //twitter.com
@Atheist_Krishna Thank you Bhai.. aaja isi baat pe ek ek small ho jaaye @Nomadic_Soul_pic.twitter.com/PAvxmC6cjg,"@Atheist_krishna thank you brother .. come on, this is a small thing @nommedic_sol_pitch.twitter.com / pavishmak6 awake"
kejriwal jeeta ya koi bhi public k liye kuch kare ....,Kejriwal wins or does something for the public. . . .
@miss_cherished aaj Steyn ko Stain banana hai,@Miss_Cherish Council to make yourself stand today
Match mein pahle jaisa maja nahi aaya. Pakistan ki team ghatiya hai imo.,The match was not as fun as before. Pakistan's team is poor.
RT @RanbirKUniverse : [ More Pictures ] : Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone in the Making of Tamasha . https://t.co/kJCKyMiAGT,RT @RanbirKUniverse : [ More Pictures ] : Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone in the Making of Tamasha . https://t.co/kJCKyMiAGT
@balliawalebaba dimaag nahi hai chutiyo me,@Ballywalebaba no brain in pictures
@laluprasadrjd ji . Itna Sharmindagi to Pakistan ko Modiya ki #SurgicalStrike se bhi nahi huyi Jitna is match me haar k Pakistan ko hui,@LaluPrasadrijad G. Pakistan is not so much ashamed of Modiya's #Sargishaalastrike as much as Pakistan lost in this match
"Free bijli, free pani, free ye, free wo ke naam par to public ISI ko bhi vote de degi.","The public will also vote in the name of free electricity, free water, free this, free water."
"sirf net ke liye use karo "" calling me to bsnl bhi baap lagata hai #Jio ke samne","Only use for the net ""In calling, BSNL also seems to father #Jio"
@PJ_CRACKER kaha jaa raha hai?,What is being called @ PJ_Cracker?
"Saqeena: Sajna hai mujhe sajna ke liye..
 
 Mubeena: Kaun aa raha hai
 
 Saqeena: Bhaiya aa rahe hai Dubai se..
 
 #MuslimLoveStory","Sakina: I want to prostrate ..
 
 Mubina: Who's coming
 
 Sakina: Bhaiya is coming from Dubai ..
 
 #MuslimLovestory"
lo beta.. Sehwag ka naam liya aur boundary.. Yehi to magic hai ji,Take son .. took the name of Sehwag and the boundary .. this is the magic
@Vyomnaut thanks Raj bhai,@Vyomnaut thanks Raj bhai
@clued_up_chic Umeedo wali dhoop.. Sunshine wali aasha..,@ Clued_up_chitch hope sunshine .. sunshine hope ..
@sambha_bhilane hahahah yahan ka doughnut tasty hai. mujhe kya pata delhi mai medu vada ko doughnut bolte hai @kitAnurag,"@ Sambha_bhilnehhhhhhhhhhh. What do I know in Delhi, Medu Vada is called a donut"
ise nahi samjhega.. chhod bhai @Nine__11,Won't understand it .. Quit brother @ nine__11
SIM pakka BSNL ki hogi.. Gusse me maalik phenk gaya hogahttps://twitter.com/oneindiaHindi/status/682120115156987905 …,SIM will be of BSNL .. Angry owner will be thrown back.
hahaha ...solid hai re baba,hahaha ...solid hai re baba
@Vjuneesh ye lust nahi aasaan bas itna samajh lije,@Vazneesh this is not easy just understand it
RT @dheeruinsan : @Gurmeetramrahim #StillMSG2Everywhere dhan dhan satguru tera he aasra Gud morning Guruji https://t.co/sYZuZfUPbs,RT @dheeruinsan: @Gurmeetramrahim # StillMSG2Everywhere dhan satguru tera hea gud morning Guruji https://t.co/sYZuZfUPbs
"RT @Shehzad_Ind : Malicious campaign by BJP , based on complete lies , to tarnish KanishkaSingh's name Here's the truthSatyamevaJayate https://","RT @Shehzad_Ind : Malicious campaign by BJP , based on complete lies , to tarnish KanishkaSingh's name Here's the truthSatyamevaJayate https://"
@midwestmoviesus india lo avg os hit sir,@midwestmoviesus india lo avg os hit sir
"@huh_watnow kaho ""acha to kal BHI mera no tha kya""","@Han_Vatano say ""Well, even yesterday I didn't have one"""
"How to sound cool #51
 Zyada bhi hoshiyaar ban ne ki koshish na karo.https://twitter.com/amgaiton/status/885538130572435458 …","How to sound cool # 51
 Don't try to be too clever. Http: //twitter.com/magitons/states/885538130572435458…"
"#GuessTheSong
 Koi naya sapna nigaahon mein toh hai","# Gujestasang
 Any new dream is in sight"
@someUSER i think that's standard now .it's actually an improvement .before they were saying the 11th .now the 9th .,@someUSER i think that's standard now .it's actually an improvement .before they were saying the 11th .now the 9th .
Ek aur https://twitter.com/cinghh/status/840336142327209984 …,One more video: //twitter.com/singh/states/840336142327209984…
sir you have already won hearts of billion ..aap toh real hero ho ..proud of you sir ..,sir you have already won hearts of billion ..aap toh real hero ho ..proud of you sir ..
@AdroitSimmi Bihar ko bachana hai toh modi jee ko lana hai#ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao,"@Adhroitsimmi to save Bihar, to bring Modi ji #modijitonitishbhago"
Kya apne dhoke khaye hai?,Have you eaten your cheats?
@sweetvismaya maha jhootha hai ye :),@SweetWisma this is a liar :)
toh dekha aapne kese is page ne is insaan ki zindgi badal di...toh jaldi like kijiye ye page...aur apni zindgi mein badlaav mehsus kijiye..:d,toh dekha aapne kese is page ne is insaan ki zindgi badal di. . . toh jaldi like kijiye ye page. . . aur apni zindgi mein badlaav mehsus kijiye. . : d
"jason wu - lace ,bandeau tops ,harnesses and the debut of his 4th bag line ,the carolyn #jasonwu #nyfw","jason wu - lace ,bandeau tops ,harnesses and the debut of his 4th bag line ,the carolyn #jasonwu #nyfw"
ye bag taangne ka style aur answer na pata hone pe book se muh chhupane wala shaan ...wah bhai wah ...!,The style of hanging the bag and the mouth concealer from the book without knowing the answer. . . He is the brother. . . !
:) bas kabhi kabhi galati se,:) just sometimes by mistake
@ExSecular mujhe mat block karna ab,@Execular Don't block me now
guddu underwear chaab riya hai x,d
Takla was upset #GST ke baje se kahi uska Livon Hair Grow Tonic' mehanga na hojaye.,Baldy was upet that his Livon Hair Grow Tonic does not get get expensive with #GST
"@rajheartking naam to wahi rahega, kyu emotional ho rahe ho.","@RajHairtking's name will remain the same, why are you getting emotional?"
"Ye roll hai, tikdi alag thi","This is a roll, the tablet is different"
last time u fooled me kejriwal .  .  .  ek dokha kha chukey hain  .  .  . aur kha saktein nahi .  .  .,Kejriwal in last time flower. . . Have been cheated once. . . Can not get any more. . .
"Sachai hui Hai, beer to hote rehti hai","Truth is, beer keeps on happening"
Kis kis ko rply denge salman...uffffff....jisko salman bahut achha lagta hain usko dena....,Salman will give reply to who all ... UFFFFFF .... give it to whom Salman likes very much ....
aaj k din jalebi khaye bina ghar ni lauta karte hai :) ^_^,Today we do not return home without eating Jalebi :) ^ _ ^
Matlab iss baar jail jaake hi maanoge?,"So, you will not accept without going to jail this time?"
RT @Priyanshi__ : Dekho @mohituraina kal Mahashivratri hai Pata hai aap busy rahoge but ek tweet kar Dena .. ok ?,"Rat @Priyanshi__: Look @Mohituraina tomorrow is Mahashivratri, you know you will be busy but give a tweet .. Ok?"
"waise Atal ji kaise hain, suna hai aajkal aswasth chal rahe hain. @lady_gabbar","By the way, Atal ji, it is heard, nowadays, he is running unwell. @ Lady_Gabber"
"Diwali aane wali hai, ab tak salary nahi hui ","Diwali is coming, salary has not been done yet"
@sagarcasm Sarafa/Rajwada me mil jaega,@Sagarcom will be found in Sarafa / Rajwada
@Fussy_Ca isiliye marr gayee woh :(,@Fussy_ Is that why she died ?(
Mukesh ambani ne jio me net free kr diya ..... aur mila kya ... usi ke free ke net se usi ke beta pr meme bana rha hai sab ...,Mukesh Ambani made the net free in Jio ..... and got what ... everyone is making meme on his son from his net of free ...
"bilkul nahi yaar, mera kya jaata hai? Tu bas chahta kya hai mujhse? Ye jaanna hai.","Not at all man, what happens to me? What do you just want from me? This is to be known."
@KyaUkhaadLega daaru pilayega?,@Kyukhadalega will give liquor?
@indiantweeter @Paytm kya kiya inhone ab,@Indiantweeter @Paytm what did they do now
"@deespeak ko peda kisi or ne kiya , pala kisi or ne , use koi or kar raha he or jhel pura desh raha he Incredible India #LandAcquisitionBill","@Dcq, someone else did, someone else grew up, someone else is doing it and the whole country is suffering Incredible India"
@clued_up_chic yaar itni takleef doge tum?,@ Clued_up_chitch man would you hurt so much?
Rich nahi. Poor.,Not rich. Poor.
#ArunShorry Ji aakhir itne dino baad apko yaad aa rha hai ki #Notebandi galat faisla tha 0 Itne dino tak kisne kidnep kiya hua tha ?,"#ArunShari ji, after so many days you remember that #NoteBandi was a wrong decision 0 Who had been kidnapped for so long?"
Sir @aamir_khan main bhi mela dekh ke khoob roya tha. Lekin saalo ne paise wapas nahi kiye.https://twitter.com/Bollyhungama/status/751380254044807168 …,"Sir @Aamir_Khan, I too cried after watching the fair. But the years have not returned the money."
"@TheZoiro 
1: bhai paise udhaar de de
2: bhai bike udhaar de de
 Zoiro #YNOTCaptionThis @TheZoiro","@Thejoero
1: lend money
2: lend brother bike
 Joiro #AnnotKapathiothis @ Thejoero"
arun lal: aur ye ek acchi sajhedari ban rahi hai india ke liye .  .  .,Arun Lal: And it is becoming a good partnership for India. . .
mahangai bhi kam hui hai.,Inflation has also come down.
"""Paise dekar to koi bhi jeet jaaye"" ~ CSK fans and AAPtards #IPLFinal","""Anyone wins by paying"" ~ CSK fans and AAPtards"
"Hey Pakistan, har dhulaai baad comfort lagana chahiye. ","O Pakistan, a comfort should be applied after every smashing."
@Varunliciouss itna saara matlab bas ek chinti jitna ? :P,@Varunalicious: It means so much just an ant? : P
"@dashhtweets naah, Splitsvilla jeetna hai","@DashtheWeights Nah, Splitsvilla is to be won"
HA HA HA sir kahan hai paisa :),Ha ha ha sir where is the money :)
@_SandSurfer bhagwan tujhe poora din shopping karne wali biwi de. meri badduda hai.,@ _ Sundasurfer Bhagwan give you a wife shopping all day. My bad wish.
".@Shakti_Shetty itni SHAKTI hamein dena daata, tujh par se vishwas kamzor ho na.",". @ Shakti_ Shetty Give us so much power, faith in you does not get weak."
Isko upar se kya dikhta hai waise? https://twitter.com/ani_digital/status/889893620240728065 …,What does he see from above? Http: //twitter.com/an_digital/states/889893620240728065…
RT @Tapash333 : #EhsaanFaramos Jiski wajase cricket khelrahahe unhi ke against hai . Warna Paki grnd mein canten kholke baithta #WT20 https :/,"Rat @ Tapas333: # Betrayer, he is against the same because of whom he is playing cricket. Otherwise, he would be having a canteen."
Someone probably saw Salman and said: Yeh bechara kaam ke bhoj ka mara. Issay chahiye Chinkara.,Somebody Probably Saw Salman and Sand: This poor under the burden of work. He needs chinkara.
"I think SALMAN SIR is taking a nap... jago salman bhai jago, aapka fans kab se wait kar raha hain....!","I think Salman sir is taking a nap… Wake up Salman bhai, how long have the fans been waiting…!"
@iamGunjanGrunge aaj ek angrez ne mujhe 'jugaad' naam ki list me daal diya,@Timagunjanagarunge Today an Englishman put me on the list named 'Jugaad'
@pragyas1192 @coochilost @vklovesfk may be he loved that cation ... baba ko khud ki tarif bahut pasand hai,@ Pragyanas 1192 @Suchilost @VakaloWesfakMy Be Hey Loved That Catian ... Baba loves his praise
Akademi awards lautaane walon se Chetan Bhagat behtar. Kam se kam log uski 3-4 books ka naam to jante hi honge.,Chetan Bhagat is better than those returning Academy Awards. At least people will know the name of his 3-4 books.
mai toh jaan bujhke chalk chupa deta tha .  taake teacher office se chalk lane ko bole .  .  :),I used to hide the chalk deliberately. So that teacher asks to bring chalk from the office. . :)
"Matlab, poora dadar local tumhara hi?","Meaning, the entire dadar local is yours?"
god bless u man .  sach main dil khush ho jata hai aapke ye sketch padkar .  keep rocking .  :-),"God bless you man. Really, my heart becomes happy after reading your sketch. Keep rocking. :-)"
RT @Mithil200 : @Salman_ki_sena waah mohit kya profile pic rakha hai #amazing hai,Rat @ Mithil 200: @Salman_Ki_Sena wow! What aprofile picture Mohit is taking! #Amazing
"and my mom would be-  "" aapna kam khud karo .  pahele se kuch jankar nahi aate ho .  khud bhukto !  ""  :p","And My Mother Wold Be- ""Do your work yourself. You don't know anything beforehand. Pay yourself!"""
@MeetUunngLee 50. shades. of. grey... mera bhi kata,@ Meetunangali 50. Shades. Of Gray ... mine too chopped
"@iamAneekDhar kya haal hain bhai, sa re ga ma pa ke baad aaj twitter pe dekha.","@Simnekadhar kya haal bhai, saw this on twitter today after Sa Re Ga Ma Pa."
@tweeting_pal Pappi to aap bhi de sakti ho.. Par aaj tak di kaha aapne,@Twitting_Pal Pappi you can also give .. but till date did you give
Ya #TripleTalaq me hi busy rhegi.Yahan hm student ka aaye din #Rape ho rha ha to uska kuchh ni.,"Or #TripleTalk will be busy only. Here we are #Rapay on the day of the student, then something new."
@Insane_chorri haan matlab samaj jao,@Insa_ steal yes so understand
"Life Story : Ghungroo ki tarah, bajta hi raha hu main.","Life Story: Like Ghungroo, I kept ringing."
To #GujaratElections declare hone se pahale seena dhol jaise pit pit kar kyun kah rahe the ki #GST sahi hai badalaw ki koi jaroorat nahi.,"So before #gujaratelections were declared, why were you saying that #Gst is right there is no need to change it."
@tweetingsourav sabse ganda hangover Royal Stag ka hai,@TweetingSurao is the messiest hangover of the Royal Stag
@bhaiyyajispeaks shaadi me zaroor bulana.. @Tweet2Rhea,@ Bhaiyyajeeksicus sure to call in the wedding .. @ Tweet 2
iske peeche ladkiya deewani hai bhai.,"The girls are crazy behind this, brother."
@Lambar_Daar bhai zyada dimaag hote to kahi aur hote aaj ,)
Meri to raat shuru nahi hui aur #timeline pe good morning ke message shuru ho gaye . #insomnia #sleepless,I did not start the night and the messages of #Timiline on Good Morning started. #Insomnia #sleepless
"Bhagwan ka diya sabkuch hai, daulat hai, shohrat hai, izzat hai, bas kuch RT's dene walon ki zaroorat hai","God given is everything, wealth, fame, honor, just need some RT givers."
"""Saari saari raat bahar rehta hai ye ladka. Pata nahi kya karta hai kaha jata hai. Aur pucho to jawab nahi deta""- Batmom #IfBatmanWasinIndia","""This boy stays out all night. Don't know what he does he do, where does he go? And if you ask, he does not answer"" - talk #fibatman"
@melotus phir? Aasan hai,@melotus again? it's easy
"""Airport ke liye taxi waha se milegi..""

""LOL bhaijaan hum to tumhare samaan ke andar baith ke jaenge..""pic.twitter.com/scGHmMXudC","""Taxi to the airport will meet her ..""

""Lol Bhaijaan, we will sit inside your luggage .."""
finally saw the galaxy foams in person on saturday .  .  .  let's just say &lt,&lt
@aanchalator shaam ko milega,@Anchorore will meet in the evening
Jarut karenge awashya karenge ....aapke fan jo hai..,Will do it definitely .... Your fans are there
"@SrBachchan aap hamesha university ke bahar ke halat se rubaru karwate hain , university ke bheetar bhi Jana hota tha ?","@Sarbuchan You always get the situation outside the university, had to go inside the university too?"
@marut_ wo to hain hai :),@Marut_ He is still there :)
"Student 1: Yaar yeh log Pan Bahar kyon khaate hain?
Student 2: Kyonki andar khaenge to teacher bahut marega.","Student 1: Dude, why do these people eat ""paan bahar""?
Student 2: Because if you eat inside, then the teacher will beat a lot."
@indiantweeter bot pyaar karte haim humko sanam,@indiantweeter love you a lot dear
@BUnlimted bhai ye akki ka fan hai isse bol do hum ek movie dekhenge.. Airlift ya Dangal.. Baaki iski marzi  @akshay_airlift @aamir_khan,"@Bunlimited Bhai Yeh is a fan of Akki, tell us we'll watch a movie .. Airlift or Dangal .. the rest of it @Akshay_Airlift @Aamir_Khan"
@iamGunjanGrunge waah.. Cheers bhai,@ImGunGrunGun Wow .. Cheers brother
Aish Ranbir Ke Peeche. Ranbir Anushka ke peeche. Anushka Aish ke peeche. Aishwarya Fawad Ke Peeche. Fawad Pakistan ke peeche. Too much fun.,Behind Ash Ranbir. Ranbir behind Anushka. Behind Anushka Ash Behind Aishwarya Fawad. Fawad behind Pakistan. Too much fun.
"kch jyada hi bol gye ,  over confidence mei .  .   !  ! ","Some people spoke too much, in over confidence. . ! !"
"Main deewani, mastani, haraami hogayi.","I will be crazy, Mastani, bastard."
@huh_watnow do din se tumhari yaad me khana nahi khayapic.twitter.com/9OOHc07nn2,@Haan_watno No food in your memory since two days. Twitter.com / 9
supw ki to kabhi class hi ni hui :-d :-d,SUPW never had a class: -D: -D
@KyaUkhaadLega @Alllahdin @premlata_rai sab gandagi aaj baahar aayegi. :D,@Kukhadlega @alladdin @premlata_rai all the mess will come out today. : D
Ye bewakoof wale content chori kar sabko bewakoof banaate hai.https://twitter.com/kooshals/status/691611498284584961 …,They make everyone goofy by stealing stupid content.
@the_jok_er so ja bhai,Sleep brother
"@NehaT_ haha, ek do din ke liye ghar change kar lete hai  @SocialBitterfly","@NehaT_ haha, change the house for a couple of days @SochalBitterFly"
"Ye agar Bumrah out nahi karta to aaj raat uske pichwade mein Virat stump ghusata.
#INDvENG","If Bumrah does not get out, then Virat stumps in his backyard tonight.
#Handwang"
4 baj gaye Lekin sallu sir ki entry abi baaaki hai....,It is 4 pm but Sallu Sir's entry is still left ....
@Amit_smiling desh vikas chahta hai aur Bihar margdarshan chahta hai narendra modi ka #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra,@ Amit_Samiling country wants development and Bihar wants guidance Narendra Modi
kaat daala kya bhai ?,Did you cut it brother?
@me_meethi aisa kya kiya hai Maine tumhare saath?,@ Me_mythi what have I done to you?
@dhaval241086 yehi dosti yehi pyar.. Ab har baar Modi Sarkaar,@ Dhawal 241086 Ahi friendship ahi love .. This  time Modi government
"i was always like  ,  mere luncher paaji aayengey  ,  zaroor aayengey . ","Please write Mr. Vas Always, my Luncher Paaji will come, will definitely come."
"@vikasupadhyay23 @Mojitowali hadd hai jhappi wapas kar, saare gaane cancel","@ Vikasupadhyay 23 @Mojitwali enough return hug or, all songs canceled"
"Har sabzi mein pyaaz daalna zaroori hota hai, ab jokes mein bhi.","It is necessary to put onion in every vegetable, now also in jokes."
"@bengaliCEO naah naah, kabhi toh hoga","@Bengaliso nah nah, sometime "
@Alllahdin embarrass kar diya aaj to sir.,@Alladin Embarras done today sir.
@wallflower_ish isme videshi taakaton ka haath hai,@ Wallflower_ish Foreign forces are involved in this
@PMOIndia Sir Pranam! #GST is indeed a landmark par kripya chamcho se kahein yeh sab na karein. 2019 mein sabsey bada Opposition yehi hai :),"@Pmindia sir greetings! #Gst on this is indeed a landmark, please tell flatters not to speak. This is the biggest option in 2019 :)"
"Baki desh me Fog chal raha ""hai Delhi me smog chal raha hai. #DelhiSmog #delhipollution","Fog is going on in the rest of the country ""Smog is going on in Delhi. #DelhiSamog #DelhiPollution"
Kis kisne mute kiya hai aaj? Pls unmute.,Who has muted whom today? Please Unmute.
@_SandSurfer lol nice joke. 24*7 bhai @JhumkeWaali,@ _Sandsurafer lol nice jokes 24 * 7 Brother @ Jhoomkewali
"Modi: ""SAARC stands for Sab Apne Apne Raaste Chale""","Modi: ""SAARC Stands For All Go Their Own Way"""
"@Alllahdin Kohara kaagaz tha ye mann mera, likh diya naam iss pe tera.","@Alladin Fog paper, this was my honor, write your name on it."
@Manasi_Deshp Haan kuch bhi,@ Mansi_Deshap yes anything
hogayi tumhari padhai khatam? Kab 21 ke honge tum? High,Will you finish your studies? When will you be 21? Hi
@zoomphatak @ek_samosa_dena @Dishasatra ye dono dikhe mujhe!,@ZoomFatak @ Ek_Samosa_Dena @ Dishastra seen both of them!
@being_humor are nahi. Maine kuchh bhi nahi kiya :),@ Being_Humor Oh no. I do not anything :)
"@avinashpareek Pareek Saab, saadar pranaam. Kahan the aap?","@Aninashpriya Parik Saab, Regards Where are you"
guddu to actor nikla .  .  .,Guddu turned out to an actor. . .
pbr &amp, @someUSER bring you jim white at the @someUSER lounge on october 23rd at 7 pm !  http/URL
Bahu ko jalaane ke plan ko delay karna padega - Khapshttps://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/599194659047407616 …,Plans to burn daughter-in-law will have to be delayed - Khapts:
Bhosdi ke ek hi photo kitni bar post karoge!,How many times will you post the same photo of Bhosari!
@Tushar_Azzurri Lagta hai tumhare Poirot talley zameen khisak gayi.,@Tushar_azzurri Looks like the ground slipped under your poirot.
feeling aani chaiye bhai :p,feeling should comei: p
"ab ismein pasie ki kya baat, chaar botal vodka kaam maushi ka roz ka. Dakshina samajh kar de dena.","Now what about the money in this, four bottles of vodka work, Maushi's daily. Giving away as Dakshina."
RT @FilzaHafeezian8 : Result accha anaay ki Khushi khatam hogi cause FRIENDS say gudai hogi,"Rat @filzhafijian8: The result will be good to be happy, will be separated from coz friends"
"aarahi hai koi toh movie uski, aisa suna hai maine. Main zaroor dekhne jaunga","Aarhi Hai Koi Toh Movie Her, I have heard this. I will go to see"
"cba for work this weekend ,  wana be a sloth on sunday with @someUSER and @someUSER","cba for work this weekend , wanna be a sloth on sunday with @someUSER and @someUSER"
"I love Starbucks ya.
Haan kalmuhi, tere baap ne jo paise kamaye rakhe hai tere liye.","Mr. Love Starbucks
Yes, Kalamuhi, for your money which your father has retained."
boss yaar chutti do :),Boss man leave :)
"@someUSER i don't think cny will be hit too hard ,  but it may be utilized if there are any power outages #newhousesm4","@someUSER i don't think cny will be hit too hard ,  but it may be utilized if there are any power outages #newhousesm4"
It's like Dilli walon kya ukhad loge mera. paise to tumhe dene hi padenge.https://twitter.com/CNNnews18/status/849160201068584960 …,"IT'S LITERATURE, what will those of Delhi do to uproot me. You will have to pay the money. Http://twitter.com/conv18"
"Ek emo kya kar diya, log picche pad gaye hai. ","What have you done, people have fallen behind."
ye bhi koi koi bolne wali baat hai?,Is this anything to be said?
Aise to yeh match kal khatam hoga.,This way the match will end tomorrow.
Hahaha self praise kar raha hai chalaak admi?,Hahaha selfie is making a clever man?
@GabbbarSingh sangeet jagat ke jaane pehchane naam.,@Gabbarsingh Famous names in the music world.
"woh chamatkari hai, pata nahi kaise kar lete hai","He is miraculous, don't know how to do it"
Everyone is watching time in their watches.. Pranab Mukherjee ruk hu nahi rahe.. 12 baje ghanta bajana tha bhai #gstrollout #gst,Everyone is watching time in their watches .. Pranab Mukherjee is not stopping .. Playing at 12 o'clock was brother #Gastrolaut #Gast
hahaha abishek bachan k sath sath guddu ko b laat pad gye :d :d :d,Hahaha Abhishek Bachchan or accompanying guddu ko la pad pad: sad
"""Ye mere Pakistan se aayee hai.. Mere Pakistan se..""pic.twitter.com/gy40LVopzk","""It has come from my Pakistan .. from my Pakistan .."" back.Twitter.com / G40"
mr .  travis took the sats in the 7th grade !  #nerd #fact @someUSER,mr .  travis took the sats in the 7th grade !  #nerd #fact @someUSER
@balliawalebaba haha.. Train ki patri ukhad jaegi ,)
Sir @abhijeetsinger kutta agar shakkar khayega toh diabetes hi hogi na?https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/597967435111768064 …,"Sir @ abhijitsinger, if the dog eats sugar then it will be diabetes, right?"
@iamsrk he wrote this > @iamjimmyjinx ☺ accha likha hai 😒😐 https://t.co/CfNjn0X5v3,@iamsrk he wrote this> @iamjimmyjinx ☺ accha likha hai 😒😠https://t.co/CfNjn0X5v3
han #nadim_shaikh ki amma aaegi..,"Yes, Amma of #Nadeem_Sheikh will come .."
@pillya @happlyunmarried satya vachhan!,@pillya @happlyunmarried satya vachhan!
"@Stupidosaur yaar anda, tu itna ubla hua kyu hai?","@ Stupidosaur ya egg, why are you so boiled?"
salman bhai zindabad...love u bhai...,Salman Bhai Zindabad ... Love You Bhai ...
congres ne apni gandi rajneeti k liye desh ke economy k sath dhoka kiya .  .,The Congress betrayed the country's economy for its dirty politics. .
"Har pal yaha jee bhar piyo, jo hai paise kal ho na ho.","Drink here every moment, which is money may not be there tomorrow."
phone naam ki cheez hoti hai. Pata hai kuch?,There is something called a phone. Do you know anything?
feku ji don't fake too much . vada poora first . stop fooling people .,feku ji don't fake too much . vada poora first . stop fooling people .
@91mishraprachi chalo pyaar baatein,@ 91 Mishrachi let's love things
hume to teachers k saamne hi sab kuch banana hota tha .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . every sat supw .  .  .  . but we have learnt a lot from them .  .  .,hume to teachers k saamne hi sab kuch banana hota tha .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . every sat supw .  .  .  . but we have learnt a lot from them .  .  .
Bas bahot khaali baitha tha.,The bus was sitting empty.
dimaq chahie chahe sadupayog kahie or durpayog .,You may want to change or delete your password.
"@dramebaaz_ani haaye, aisi baatein na karo iss waqt raat mein...kuch hojayega
;-P","@ Dramebaaz_Any Hi, don't talk like this this night ... something will happen
; -P"
ye dono baap bete corrupt hai  .  .  .  !  !,"Both of these fathers are sons, Corrupt. . . ! !"
Loveeee youuuuuu salman bhai.apki shadi ho jaye jaldi.aur bhagwan apko sweet sa baby gift kree.,Lovey brother-in-law Salman brother. May you get married soon. And God bless you with a sweet baby gift.
"#RailBudget2015 plz PRABHU 1 , 2 memo train for LKO TO ALD vie UNCHAHAR","#RailBuzz 2015Plus Prabhu 1, 2Memo Train For Lako To Wilde Vee Unchahar"
"har ghar shauchalaya, ya har ghar mein shauchalaya? thoda confusion haihttps://twitter.com/NitishKumar/status/638666927263498240 …","Toilets in every house, or toilets in every house? There is little Confucian Hutpas: //twitter.com/nitishkumar/states/638666927263498240…"
"@BolshoyBooze koi toh aake mera uthaaye, koi ladki.","@ Bolshoybuz Somebody come and pick me up, some girl."
Onnu pata kakkh nai hona dabbech ki haiga.Guaranteed.,Omnu song Kakkha Nai Hona Dabbech cozy.Garandid.
@ashu048 @sagarcasm aaj maine pehle kar diya agli bar tu kar lena bhai. Har bar ka kaam hai ye to.,@ Asho 048 @Sagarcom Today I did it first time next time you do it brother. This is the work of all times.
Bhai tu Rohit Shetty ki picture me kaam kab tak karega ? #AskSRK,"Bhai, how long will you work in Rohit Shetty's picture? #Xark"
"Yahan tweets koi nahi padhta, blogs kya ghanta padhenge","Nobody reads tweets here, what hour will blogs read"
@mishrageee Mishraji ladkiyon ke saath yehi panga hai,@ Mishraji Mishji this is the same with girls
Kuch ladies k chehry aur paon main itna farq hota hai jitna #Obama aur #Trump main,There is so much difference between the faces and paces of some ladies as #Obama and #Trump
Kb bjenge tumhare 4 salman ? ??,When will your 4 Salman play? ??
Just one thing: #TripleTalaq ho ya #RamMandir #congress and #KapilSibal hamesha andho k hi paksh me dalil dete h like #JNU rahul gandhi #kanahiya k sath tha,"Just one Thing: #TripleTalk or #RamMandir #Congress & #Kapilasibal always pleaded with the blind side, wrote # Janu Rahul Gandhi with #Kanahiya"
"@Tina32kaur it is indeed , when its possible play a lovely bacha wala track for me :) Am having serious mix emotions these days .","@Tina32kaur it is indeed , when its possible play a lovely bacha wala track for me :) Am having serious mix emotions these days ."
"Bhool Se Koi , Bhool Ho Jaye To , Bhool Samjh Kar Usy , Bhool Jana ,, Bhool Na Sirf , Bhool Ko , Bhool Kar Bhi Humain , Bhool Na Jana .","If someone makes a mistake, forget it, forget it, forget it, forget not only, forget it, forget us, forget it."
@Sharanyashettyy Aaj kaunsa jaanwar khaya Sagarika ki behen  @Amit_smiling,@Sharanyashetiya what animal eats Sagarika's sister today @ Amit_Samiling
i am missing my home nd family :(,i am missing my home and family :(
@dhaval241086 ye le inaam @Atheist_Krishnapic.twitter.com/FyHbEB4MLa,@Tavla ௨௪௧௦௮௬ A Le Inam @ the same_sta_krishnabik.twitter.com/pihpb ௪
"Haan yaar, gareeb aadmi hu share hi afford kar sakta hu sirf.","Yes man, poor man can share only me."
@someUSER i've only just begun !  i miss putting in 10 hour shifts on 3rd floor paterno .  .  .  not really though .,@someUSER i've only just begun !  i miss putting in 10 hour shifts on 3rd floor paterno .  .  .  not really though .
@sagarcasm kahaan hai?,Where is @sagarcom?
RT @abhi1512anya : Pehle Satta ka Lalach aur ab PM banane ki Lalsa .... Kuch kam nahi krna Sirf Modi Modi japna hai unhe n unki party ko https,"Rat @ Abhi 1512 Dnyan: First the greed for power and now the longing to become a pawn .... nothing needs to be done but only Modi is chanting Modi, neither he nor his party"
Radhe bhai aa bhi jaye ..,Radhe bhai should come ..
"@kamaalrkhan lol, bhai tu khud hi hathiyar ki shakal ka lagta hai","@Kamalrakhan lol, brother you feel like a weapon"
Raj thakrey might go cRaZy if Obama have asked Modi ' kem cho ' in Marathi,Raj Thackeray's My Go Crazy If Obama Now Accepts Modi 'Why Cho' In Marathi
Dil mein 1 Aug si hai.,There is 1 mass in the heart.
Aunty ji shukar manao Kejriwal ka.. Kaam hota to aaj aap jail me hoti..https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/742977284605399040 …,"Aunty, please thank Kejriwal .. If you had worked, you would have been in jail today ... http://twitter.com/an_news/states/742977284605399040…"
@friendlii_ghost Amitabh Bachchan se milne ke baad sab ko sir bolne laga hai kya?,"@ Friendly_ghost After meeting Amitabh Bachchan, has everyone started speaking a lot?"
aillaa guddu ko master ki laat  .  .  .  .,Baton to the Yilla Egg Co Master. . . .
@White_Crimes isse main kya samjhu?,@White_Crimes What do I understand with this?
@Jal_Kukdi tumhe to pyaar raha nahi. To kiske liye jiye ab,@Jal_Kukdi I am not in love with you So live for what now
"Chitral : Susoom Kay Elaqay Main Barfani Touda Girnay Say 11 Afrad Dab Gaye , Aik Shaks Ki Lash Nikal Li Gai , Rescue Zarai","Chitral: 11 snowmen were killed after a snowfall broke in the area of ​​Susum, the body of a man was removed, rescue zarai"
@Alllahdin @retardedwriter Saale hum abhi aajayenge,@Alladdin @Radardvattivar saale we will try now
"@YusufDFI @oldkrish So , Pak is a failed State in more senses than one . Chale tthe India ki barabari karne , ban gaye Cheen ke tattoo !","@YusufDafi @oldkrish so, pak is a felt state in more senses. Went to match India, became China's tattoo!"
Kisi ke baap ko itne retweets mile hai yahan??pic.twitter.com/pHJgFBPEtk,Has any father received so many retweets here?
Kejriwal and Sisodia to join Anna for Dharna . February to khatam hone dete mere bhai . #AnnaReturns #RahulOnLeave,Kejriwal and Sisodia join Anna for Dharna. February to khatam hone dete me. #AnnaReturns #RahulOnLeave
hahahaha spanish people and nadal's box all smiling after the break in the 5th set hahahahahaha #rewatchingaofinal,hahahaha spanish people and nadal's box all smiling after the break in the 5th set hahahahahaha #rewatchingaofinal
#201 : Why do IITB guys always wear weird clothes and chappals ???,#201 : Why do IITB guys always wear weird clothes and chappals ???
@garima_64 oye nahi mujhe unka food nahi banna mine river rafting Swimming kee . hai bahut baar . but I made sure vahan allegator na ho,"@Garima_64 I don't want to be their food, mine river rafting swimming. Is very often. Butt Made Sure Vehicle Is Not Algator"
"Kaun kambakhat bardasht karne ke liye peeta hai?
Hum toh isiliye peete hai kyunki afford kar sakte hai.","Who drinks to tolerate fucking?
We drink because we can afford it."
anonymous asked: may i know the format of unboxing video ?  and is it for album only ?  can i do it for .  .  .  http/URL,anonymous asked: may i know the format of unboxing video ?  and is it for album only ?  can i do it for .  .  .  http/URL
To kya separetist chamche / dedhdrohi ko dhoodh pilaye ? Inke phan kuchlne hi padege #jnu,So should the separatist find the spoon / decedent? They will have to crush
.@ashutosh83B bhai taiyaar ho jaa.. aaj tujhe jalaenge,". @ Ashutosh 83. Brother, get ready. Burn you today."
acting to ho hi jati hai jab apne liye krna ho to .  .  :p yaha pr sabhi guddu ye acting kr k baithe hai .  .,Acting only happens when you have to do it for yourself. . : P All the Guddu sitting here are acting acting. .
Ashwin zinda nahi hai kya?,Is Ashwin not alive?
"Sir kuch concrete solution nikalne chahie . Plhe #diwali par patakhe nae jalaane die "" Ab #apnigaadi nae chalane doge . Ye solution hai ya sajaa .","Sir, some concrete solution should be removed. Let the firecrackers burn the new ones on Diwali."
guddu se shaido vale dialogs me kaha emtion expect karte ho .  . koi contra pe film nikle to acting me awwal aayega vo .  .  !  !,"In the dialogues with shadows from Guddu, you do an experiment. . If a film comes out on the Contra, it will come out first in acting. . ! !"
#IndvsPak afsos is baar bhi nahi laga mauka . @STARCricketIN . celebrating this win . #BharatMataKiJay,"#Indavspak Sorry, this time also did not take a chance. @StarCricketin. Celebrating this win. #Long live Mother India"
"Bangladesh, tumse na ho payega.
#IndvsBan","Bangladesh, you will not be able to do this.
#IndavasBan"
RT @onlibuffness : Agla ghar tumhara bhi hosakta hai ,_
"Narendra Modi: *breathes*
Arvind Kejriwal: Modi ji, saans hi lete rahoge ya desh ke liye kuch karoge bhi","Narendra Modi: * brethes *
Arvind Kejriwal: Modi ji, you will keep breathing or you will do something for the country."
@abdullah_omar aur ye na sunane ka sukun pane ke liye aapne kam mehnat nahin ki...respect :),@Abdullah_Omar and you did not work less to be relieved to hear it ... Respect :)
@NowToSRK accha hu ... bas FAN ka wait hai,@Notork good ... just the fan's weight
@bizzarebhide maine unka namak khaya hai,@Bizarebide I have eaten their salt
"Kejriwal to pagal hai hi, tum log bhi ho kya?","Kejriwal is crazy, you guys are also?"
"Koi bhi jeete, KKR nahi jeetna chahiye.","No one should win, should not win."
"Yun toh akela bhi aksar, gir ke sambhal sakta hu main
Tum jo pakad lo mera, duniya badal sakta hu main.","Like this alone too often, I can recover
Whatever you grab, I can change the world."
"why these mfs jus blastin  "" rella ""  like itz the hood on saturday n shit lolz smh","why these mfs jus blastin  "" rella ""  like itz the hood on saturday n shit lolz smh"
how are you spending your saturday night ?  i'm currently sitting crying my eyes out to the vow .,how are you spending your saturday night ?  i'm currently sitting crying my eyes out to the vow .
aailaaaa .  .  .  jor ka jhtka dheere se lge ,)
"@twinitisha kyunki main gareeb hu aur tum ameer sirf issi baat ke liye, aa gale lag jaa :D","@Twenitisha because I'm poor and you rich are just for this, come hug me: D"
@abpnewshindi @SriSri @dibang awsome jai sri Ram,@abpnewshindi @SriSri @dibang awsome jai sri Ram
@bizzarebhide free khane k liye jana padta hai,@Bizzare has to go for free lunch
@Rapatraapchick @GhantaGuy lekin yeh samaaj,@Ratpatrachik @ Ghanatagu Lackin 'Yeh society
8th stage ka 3rd level kafi difficult hai :-),8th stage ka 3rd level kafi difficult hai :-)
"Ek ko convert karna nahi aata, chutiye hai","One does not know how to convert, pussy is"
@Ra_Bies Roma bhi bohot maal hai,@ Ra_BS Roma is also very good
.  .  . salaaa dil khush ho gaya padhke :p,. . . Fuckin heart makes you happy
"Bhaiyya sukkhi puri do na please jaldi, teekha laga.
#WomenIssues","Brother Sukhi, complete two please please, it felt sharp.
#Womenesus"
Sir ap ki sarkar to blue whale game se b zyada khatrnak hai ..#GST# Dukandaro ki jaan lo ge kya sahab #faltu ki formalities#,Sir you are more dangerous than the Blue Whale game ..
"Dhoni: Aur morph karo, saalon #AsiaCupT20Final","Dhoni: And morph, years #ACCapt 20 Finals"
.@OfficeOfRG bhai bohot ho gayee bakar bakar.. Jaa so ja.. Uth ke mummy bournvita pilaegi,. @ Offisorg Bhai Bohot gone Bakar Bakar .. go to sleep .. wake up mom will feed Bournvita
jonas brothers are gonna go live at fort canning on the 22nd .  hmmmm .,jonas brothers are gonna go live at fort canning on the 22nd .  hmmmm .
faisal bhai  .  .  ma ka diya hua 20/- ka note 10/- main covert ho gaya guddu ke haath main aate hi ,)
Baal Gopal Ghaan Mandal _/\_,Bal Gopal Ghan Mandal _ / \ _
Itne aansoo laati kahan se ho behen? Sale laga tha kya?,Where are you from so many tears? What was the sale?
""" Trending India : 05:00 PM IST "" 1 . #RailBudget2015 2 . #CelebTrains 3 . #PrabhuKiRail 4 . #SpiderManQuiz 5 . #SLvBAN 6 . Suresh Prabhu 7 . Stan Lee","""Trending India: 05:00 PM IST"" 1. # RailBudget2015 2. #CelebTrains 3. #PrabhuKiRail 4. #SpiderManQuiz 5. #SLvBAN 6. Suresh Prabhu 7. Stan Lee"
@someUSER @someUSER i remember 1st seeing veldheer @ the senior bowl thinking this kid can ball .  fortunately we got him,@someUSER @someUSER i remember 1st seeing veldheer @ the senior bowl thinking this kid can ball .  fortunately we got him
"hey @someUSER i have a concert this saturday at bedolla skater boyz in alsip ,  il at 6pm .  any chance i could get you to show ? ","hey @someUSER i have a concert this saturday at bedolla skater boyz in alsip ,  il at 6pm .  any chance i could get you to show ?"
Time travel kaise kiya @BhayanakPuppy,How did time travel
"Kuch logon ki kismat mein tequila shots nahin, tetanus shots hi likhe hain.","Some people have written teatness shots, not tequila shots in luck."
Bhai @iamGunjanGrunge kaunsi jail me hai ?https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/672295966536433664 …,"Brother @timagunjanagarunge, which prison is he in?"
@HaatimTau logon ko joke nahi samjha Tau :'( sirf Tu hi hai,@Hattintu if you don't understand people: '(Only you are
@AdvancedMaushi aur wo 2 bachche kiske hai ?? #TheNationWantsToKnow,@Advansdamoshi and who are those 2 children ?? #TenshanVantastoknau
@Being_Humor Bhai meri nazaro me to hai ,)
"Replies like these <3 
Dil jeet liya *khushi ke aansoo*https://twitter.com/deveshnayak/status/864070203486896129 …","Replaced theses <3
Won Hearts * Tears Of Happiness *"
"Dil ka dard waqt nahi dekhta, post karo apne emo tweets. Apne dil ka haal jaanne ke liye sms karein MAINEMO on 534543 maasik shulk lagoo.","Heartache does not see time, post your emo tweets. To know the condition of your heart, please contact Manmo 534543 monthly fee."
"Shakal rajpal yadav wali aur akkad hrithik wali, bhagwan se daro.","Shakal Rajpal Yadav and Akkad Hrithik, fear God."
@imathemagician kai log hain :),@ Imthemagis many people :)
"Bahut achha kheli "" ye ab tak ka best badminton match tha "" #PVSindhu #Sindhu #WorldBadmintonChampionships # 2017 WBC #Okuhara","Very well played ""This was the best badminton match ever"""
Aaj raat sone wala hu sofepe.,I am going to sleep tonight
aaiye na jaldi kabi tho time dijye janta pyar karne wallo ko.....,"Come soon, for some time, the public will love those who love ....."
"@Borborygm_ @Stupidosaur thoda aur research kar leta, kyu bola ye maine toh achha hota. Pehli baat toh research karna chhod de","@Borboring_ @ Stupidosaur would have done a little more research, why I said it would have been better. The first thing is to stop researching"
note::jisse yakin na ho wo pehle try kare .  .  !  !,Note :: The one who is not sure should try first. . ! !
"Ye log jo khudko creative ya artist samajhte hai, hamesha aise bhikariyon ki tarah dheele kurte, lambe baal aur sadyal chashma kyu pehente?","Why do these people, who consider themselves creative or artist, always wear loose kurtas, long hair and sadal glasses like such beggars?"
"@drpoonam haan, kai khabar na padi :/ @AdvancedMaushi @HathwalaThakur","@Darpunam Yes, no idea: / @AdvancedMousi @Hatavalathakur"
"""Pyar karne wale kabhi darte nahi.""

~ Shakespeare","""Lovers never fear.""

~ Shakespeare"
@ROFLaaLa @Madan_Chikna @millertimeindia Chikna itne form mein hai aajkal isne Katrina ko propose kiya toh woh bhi haan kar degi,"@Rofflala @Madan_Chickna @MillerTeamandiye Smooth is in so much form these days it has proposed Katrina, she will also do yes"
luv u soooooooo much salman....aap ke fans hmesha aap ke saath he...,Love Suuuu Mach Salman .... your fans are always with you ...
@slimswamy yeh samajhna hi point hai bandhu.,"@SlimSwamy, this is the point to understand, brothers."
"contra me s power achi thi l se ,  :-p","contra me s power achi thi l se, :-p"
luv u sir. wah sir kya baat Hai. lovely voice. superbbbbbbbbbb idea.,luv u sir. wah sir kya baat Hai. lovely voice. superbbbbbbbbbb idea.
"kaisi rahi class ka awesome reply .  .  .  i just can't stop laughing  .  .   "" bandron ke pinjrey se  .  .  ""  hahahahahha :d :d","How was the response of the class? . . She just can't stop laughing. . ""From the monkey cage."" Hhhhhhhh: D: D"
"@scratchysingh Benchooo, ye DDLJ ke beech mein LINGam kahan se le aaya? :'( </3 Dil tod ditta pra
BUT LOOOOOOOLL!!","@ Scratchisingh Benchua, where did he bring the lingam in the middle of the dalj? : '(</ 3 Heart Break Ditta
Butt Loewoul !!"
"#ECI ne aankhen kyu band karli ??

 DM Kaimur ka kya hai rishta Nitish Kumar se? #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra","# Why did he shut his eyes ??

 What is DM Kaimur's relationship with Nitish Kumar? #NitishKheharDeveshSehra"
"Bhakt: Kejriwal turned Delhi into Venice :P
AAPtard: Haters gonna hate, at least Kejriwal fulfilled his promise of free water.","Bhakt: Kejriwal turned Delhi into Venice :P
AAPtard: Haters gonna hate, at least Kejriwal fulfilled his promise of free water."
"@LungFakeer Pyar kiya toh darna kya, do it in the open","@Lughfakir pyar kiya toh darna kya, doit in the open"
@Being_Humor Bhopal aaja.. @ChouhanShivraj ke ghar ke paas Wind N Waves pe beer piyenge aur saath me badhai lenge,@Being_HumorBhopal Aaja .. @ Chauhanshivraj's house will drink beer on Wind Waves and greet you together
@Wiseywoman Hillary aunty ka chance kam hai,@Visevomon hillary aunt's chance is low
"@Joojhaaru bhai shakal aisi hai, sochna padta hai.","@The belligerent brother is like this, has to think."
Pakistan me sab gadhe hi to hai https://twitter.com/NavbharatTimes/status/850939004853866496 …,All asses are there in Pakistan.
@ruchikokcha itne bekaar dikhne wale joote 3000 me khareede ?? @HushPuppies_In @hushpuppies,@ Ruchikokcha so useless looking shoes bought for 3000 ?? @Hoshupps_in @hoshupups
"Porn jaye, par sehath naa jayehttps://twitter.com/IndiaToday/status/723099102385311744 …","Goes to porn, cross-booklet:"
@onecuttingtea gaana hai re,@Onekuttingti song hai re
"Action lijiye @narendramodi @rajnathsingh ji "" ninda to #ManMohanSingh ji bhi karte the 0 @PMOIndia","Take action @narendramodi @ rajnathsingh ji ""condemnation #manmohansingh ji used to do 0 @ pamindia"
"Vidya gupta pagal ho gai h kay,.,,.,.","Vidya gupta pagal ho gai h kay,. ,,.,."
@Sarcusstic @aaliznat Modi sarkaar,@Sarastidik @AliseNotModi Sarkar
maine movie nahi dekhi to tu do baap ka.. Manzoor ? @raulzgargon,"Man do not see the movie, you do it. @Rolljagargaon"
haha true .  .  .  . wo 4 games hi bar bar repeat hote the .  .,haha true .  .  .  . wo 4 games hi bar bar repeat hote the .  .
RT if you've enjoyed Farali Bafvada & sabudana Khichdi #MahaShivratri,Rat if you''ve anjoyed furli buffwara & sago khichdi #mashivratri
@someUSER nick diaz is da best !  smoke weed every day and drop out of school in 6th grade !  fuck yeah !,@someUSER nick diaz is da best !  smoke weed every day and drop out of school in 6th grade !  fuck yeah !
AI 665 kab udegi bhai? @airindiain,665 when will brother fly? @Arindien
@LoKarDi_RT kripaya intolerance ko badhava na de,@Locardi_rat please do not encourage inlerance
"ye bhi zaroori hai, kuch log bahot zyada kar rahe hai. Kuch to revolt ho.","This is also important, some people are doing too much. Something revolted."
"RT @paul_nitesh : Ultimate BeizzatiA Very Old Friend Calls MeMe - WaaaaahhhhAaj Bahut Din Baad Yaad Kiya😛Friend - Nhi Yaar , Galti Se Lag…","RT @paul_nitesh: Ultimate Bezzati Very Old Friend Calls MeMe - Waaaahhhhhh Aaj Bahut Din Baad Yaad Kiya😠›Friend - Nhi Yaar, Galti Se Lagâ € ¦"
Burundi ka raita phail gayahttps://twitter.com/AFP/status/642238594531246081 …,Burundi's Raita spreads. Https: //twitter.com /
i know it's in january but i cant wait for the royal rumble #wwe,i know it's in january but i cant wait for the royal rumble #wwe
"@VishaalPathak ha ha aajkal guru angootha mangte nahin, dhikhate hain","@ Vishal Pathak Ha ha, Guru Guru does not ask for thumb, looks"
Pyar kiya to darna.,Fear if loved
"Honey Singh ke gaano pe naachna shuru karo, kripa aani shuru ho jayegi: Nirmal Baba to Radhe Maa http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/08/honey-singh-ke-gaano-pe-naachna-shuru-karo-kripa-aani-shuru-ho-jayegi-nirmal-baba-to-radhe-maa/ …","Honey Singh ke gaano pe naachna shuru karo, kripa aani shuru ho jayegi: Nirmal Baba to Radhe Maa http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/08/honey-singh-ke-gaano-pe-naachna-shuru- karo-kripa-aani-shuru-ho-jayegi-nirmal-baba-to-radhe-maa /…"
bachpan ki yaad agai bhai .  .,I will remember my childhood brother. .
@chatpatidiary sachh baat hai bas,@Patttydry is just the truth
#mannkibaat ik aye ga jab #satgurrampalji k sath galt kere wale jail hoge aur humko ap pura vishwas h sir @cmohry @om @aajtaknews,#MankeeBaatKaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa When #Satgurrampalji will be in jail with wrong and we are very confident sir @ komohari @ ॐ @ aajtakavans
"@zzoker @Funny_Deol lol, koi farak nahi padta bhai. nobody's getting prize here.","@zzoker @Funny_Deol lol, koi farak nahi padta bhai. nobody's getting prize here."
"This @mid_day be like ""Banda intellectual hai aur popular bhi.. Rape bhi kiya to kya..""pic.twitter.com/DRZbtOjFVR","Wrote this @ mid_day bay ""Banda is intellectual and popular too .. what if you raped too .."""
RT @justicearnab : Modi ji not talking about sonia in Augusta case . Sonia ji not talking about modi's fake degree issue . Both are happy .,RT @justicearnab : Modi ji not talking about sonia in Augusta case . Sonia ji not talking about modi's fake degree issue . Both are happy .
Mera desh badal raha hai. Main US ke visa ke liye apply kar raha hu.,My country is changing. I am applying for his visa.
Are you talking about the hair-sucker ???,Are you talking about the hair-sucker ???
@premlata_rai tujhe pehle ban lagta :-P,"@ Premlata_Rai, you seem to be the first: -P"
@amritsingh09 sara episode kharab ho gaya tere majak ke chakkar me!,@AmritSingh 09 The whole episode went bad because of your joke!
laga diya bhai. Was easy,Brother! Really easy
Hosh walo ko khabar kya Twitter kya cheez hai.,"What is the news to the senses, what is Twitter"
"@bizzarebhide @witchybitchygal <3 <3 Bhide, bahot kadak chiz thi woh!",@Bizzarebheidee @ Veechbeechigal <3 <3 It was a very tough thing!
@mamtan14 Dono desh ke bahar rehte hai,@Mantan14 both live outside the country
"RT AAP_Najafgarh "" RT DaaruBaazMehta : #CarFreeDay - Clean Environment/ Saves tym #SwachhDelhi - Clean Delhi/ Pollution Free #Join","RT AAP_Najafgarh "" RT DaaruBaazMehta : #CarFreeDay - Clean Environment/ Saves tym #SwachhDelhi - Clean Delhi/ Pollution Free #Join"
tujhe kya ho gaya ranbeer kapoor?,What has happened to you Ranbir Kapoor?
sarkari suvidhaon ko bhi #gst ke daayare me laya jaaye govt agar suvdhayen nahi de pati hai to aam janta ka tax #refund kare @PMOIndia,Government facilities should also be brought under the purview of #Gost if Gov't is unable to provide facilities then tax # refund of general public @pamindia
@oneelife @NasirJamshed25 sab fake hain,@oneelife @NasirJamshed25 sab fake hain
@someUSER lol yea i did nigga  !  &amp, i said wassup _ was tryin to see was u going up to fairground when the sun leave &amp
modi modi chilane wale andh bhagto ye delhi hai sab janti hai .  .  .  .  .,"Modi is the blind peeling Modi, this is Delhi, everyone knows. . . . ."
@someUSER but how you gon handle it if you are announcing on super bowl sunday ?  !  !  you might put that gold back in yo grill .,@someUSER but how you gon handle it if you are announcing on super bowl sunday ?  !  !  you might put that gold back in yo grill .
@someUSER we spoke and you didn't mention it .  .  !  happy birthday queen !  enjoy your earth day .  . long may your pioneering work continue .  . x x,@someUSER we spoke and you didn't mention it .  .  !  happy birthday queen !  enjoy your earth day .  . long may your pioneering work continue .  . x x
"Jinko Bitcoin ka Bit bhi ni pata "" vo bhi status daal rahe hai :","Those who know bitcoin cost ""They are also putting the status:"
Waqt khatam hota ja raha hai vote kar le.,Time is running out and vote.
"Chutiyaapa

RT @firstpost Main jo bhi commitment* karta hun woh poora karta hun: Rahul Gandhi outside Bhiwandi court","Chutiyapa

Rat @firstpost I fulfill whatever commitment * I make: Rahul Gandhi Outside Bhiwandi Court"
@GappistanRadio Sambhal ke tweet kiya karo. Kabhi hath gawa bethoge mazak mazak main,Tweet @GappistanRedio Sambhal. Will you ever lose your hand in jest
waah Shaadi k baad tu philosopher hogaya hai bhai. achha lag raha hai teri baatein sun kar :D,You are a philosopher after marriage. Feel good to hear your words: D
@GentlemenX Hum bhabhi pe line nahi maarte.. Pheron ke time phool maarte hai.. @byomkesbakshi,@ Gentlemen we do not hit the line on the bhi .. we beat the flowers at the time of the rounds .. @Byomkesbakashi
luncher paaji ko koi fark hi nhi pada .,Luncher Paaji did not mind.
@tweeting_pal tum yaad karogi,@Tweeting_ple you will miss
hahahaha  .  .  wo summer vacation k model yaad aagye :d,Hahahaha. General Chat Chat Lounge Remembering model of summer vacation:
"RT @RAJ_KUMAR_VERMA : @PMOIndia @Swamy39 sir , construction , real est , infra sector totally collapsed , Companies dieing going bankrupt , pilin","RT @RAJ_KUMAR_VERMA : @PMOIndia @Swamy39 sir , construction , real est , infra sector totally collapsed , Companies dieing going bankrupt , pilin"
Is Tarike Se Easily buy kar sakte hai #Bitcoin #India,"In this way, you can buy Silicon #Bitcoin #India"
"@clued_up_chic haan, aur woh ghisne wali cheez bhi le aana. Scotch Brite. Khatam hogaya hai","@ Clued_up_chick yeah, and bring that rubbish thing too. Scotch Brite. Is over"
"har jagah gaming  ,  comics and har cheez dairy milky .  .  .  . :)","Gaming everywhere, comics and everything dairy milky. . . . :)"
@iamGunjanGrunge yaha life waste ho rahi hai uske peeche,@Imagunjanagarunghe is getting behind life here
Nayee wali facelift Ecosport aane wali hai. Purani mat khareedo abhi chutiyopic.twitter.com/CG4akg9s5t,The new facelift EcoSport is coming. Do not buy old photos now at chotiopic.twitter.com
Naa saaf na safai.. Bas har jagah gandagi aur netagiri #NitishKaNakliVikaspic.twitter.com/85ktVefQvO,Neither clean nor clean .. Just dirty everywhere and Netagiri
awesome sir awesome :d :d,awesome sir awesome :d :d
Om sam shaneshcharaaye namah !!!,ॐ NO SHANASHCHARAYA NAMAH !!!
making an effort to use my ps vita a bit more .  only use it for fifa at the moment !  gonna give a few demos a try .  1st silent hill bom :-),making an effort to use my ps vita a bit more .  only use it for fifa at the moment !  gonna give a few demos a try .  1st silent hill bom :-)
"RT @NITIKABjp : IndiaHistorypic : 1980s :: Mahakaleshwar Temple , Ujjain , one of 12 Jyotirlingas of Lord Shiva #Mahashivratri #Jai #Mahakal http :/","Rat @NitikBajp: DindiAHistoric: 1980S :: Mahakaleshwar Temple, Ujjain, One of 12 Jyotirlingas: of Lord Shiva"
"look how far they've come since july 23rd 2010 .  they have a smash album ,  brit award ,  and the even beat out justin bieber for a tca . ","look how far they've come since july 23rd 2010 .  they have a smash album ,  brit award ,  and the even beat out justin bieber for a tca ."
@PoojaMissra pehle 3G to theek se chal jaye,@Poojamisra first 3 c so go well
There should be more budget for railway lines . Nahi toh Delhi NCR ki roads ki tarah ho jana hai haal . #RailBudget2015,"There should be more budget for railway lines. No, it is to become like the roads of Delhi NCR. # RailBuzz 2015"
@kamaalrkhan bhai tera Aukat bi kya hai International Khiladiyan hai #MSD aur #VK tu tho shayad samaj gaya nai tho wait fo 2 mmorows tweet @BCCI mr 0,@Kamalrakhan bhai tera aukat b kya hai hai international players
@prasannapeshkar are wo to maai-baap hain music ke :),"@PrasannaPeshkar Hey that to me, father is music :)"
"@insane_chorri Glad to know you have roots in UP. Hum Azamgarh ke hain, rehte Noida hain. Banaras mein humare kai dost-rishtedar hain :)","@ Insane_chorri glade to know you have routes in up. We are from Azamgarh, live in Noida. We have many friends and relatives in Banaras :)"
Jab Keeper ka role nibhaya to kya khoob nibhaya aur jab skipper ka to kehne hi nahi .. TRUE spirit #Dhoni .. Growing thru life is imp ..,"When the keeper played the role, what did he do and when the skipper didn't say .. True spirit # Dhoni .. Growing through life is imp .."
guddu kitne maze se dekh raha hai tv  .  .  .  main bhi aise he dekha karti thi :d,Guddu is watching TV with so much fun. . . I used to look like this: D
"Dear Pakistan, apne baap ki ek baat samajh lo...
#INDvPAKpic.twitter.com/pUaWiTtLar","Dear Pakistan, understand one thing about your father…
# Indvpcpice.twitter.com / pujwittler"
"Shekal bandaro wali "" kam bhi bandaro waale #Trump","# Trump with monkey ""work monkeys"" monkeys"
"Can't sleep, kahin azaan ho rahi hai shayad.","Can't sleep, may be getting lost somewhere."
tell her to be ur frnd first make ur frndship strong  !  !  best of luck  !  !,tell her to be your friend first make your friendship strong ! ! best of luck ! !
@ZaferMinhaj @NeverForgetpk @mir_sana05 Aur kuch Aqal bhi hoti hai . Should have played 2 spiners . Droping Wahab & Sharjeel . Hafeez opener .,@Zafminhaj @NeverForgetpuck @ Mir_S05 and there is some wisdom. Should Have Played 2 Series. Dropping Wahab & Sharjeel. Hafiz Opener.
@itsmausam bhai bhai mein chalta hai,@Itsamousam bhai walks in bhai
@bawli_poonch namoone bhare pade hai,@Bawly_quote samples are full
@sirjadeja Chutiya ne fb wala post bhi sayed delet kar diya . @mushfiqur15,@Sirjadeja Chutia also gave a fat post. @Mushfiqur15
Usko bhi pata hai bhai. Kaha gayab tha ti 3 saal !!!,He also knows brother. Where was the missing 3 years !!!
"#GuessTheSong
Mujhe naya naam do, paagal kaho.","# Gujestasang
Give me a new name, said crazy."
"Ye vividh bharti ka mumbai prasaran kendra hai, namaskarhttps://twitter.com/mangeshkarlata/status/810842966247903233 …","It is the Mumbai Broadcasting Center of Vividh Bharati, NamaskarHattap: //twitter.com/mangeskarlata/states/810842966247903233…"
@Madan_Chikna zyada hi keede,@ Madan_Smooth insects
Aaj ki party mere taraf se..,Today's party from my side ..
Jharkhand mein bhi industries ko incentives mile #MakeInIndia,Industries get incentives in Jharkhand too #macindia
"ek ladki thi deewani si, ek flop star par woh marti thi, subah sham tweet kar timeline spam karti thi...","There was a girl, Deewani Si, she used to die on a flop star, spamming Timeline by tweeting in the morning ..."
Nestle walo ke paise sahi jagah pahunch gayehttps://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/628586216439463936 …,nestle's money reached at the right place https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/628586216439463936 …
Kele aur dal ke bane veg kebab bhi ache hi hote hain. Koi baat nahihttps://twitter.com/CNNnews18/status/844413362259853314 …,"no worries, kebabs made up of bananas and dal are also delicious https://twitter.com/CNNnews18/status/844413362259853314 …"
"* JAI_SHIV_SHANKAR * SOHBAT PUR ki Tamam Hindu brodry ko "" MAHASHIVRATRI "" KI LAKH LAKH BHADAI DETE HAIN , BY > Ajeet panjwani & Deepak Talreja .","* JAI_SHIV_SHANKAR * wishing whole hindu body of sohbat pur a great "" MAHASHIVRATRI "", BY > Ajeet panjwani & Deepak Talreja ."
@PoojaMissra janta ka aakrosh hai ye... #GoodByeNitishKumar,@PoojaMissra it is people's anger... #GoodByeNitishKumar
#ViratKohli kohli ka v time Bahut jaldi jane wala haiii kab tak ye budhaw #dhoni ko khilaoge aut talented #raishabpanth ko bahar rakhoge ???????,"#ViratKohli kohli's time is nearby, till how long will they let old #dhoni play, and keep talented #raishabpanth out of team"
@somy_bored @realteamswastik aur kuch bolne layak hi kaha hai .. itna ghamand jab post leap flop hoga tab bhiga billa banega,"@somy_bored @realteamswastik so much arrogance, nothing is left worth saying ... when the post leap flops, you are going to turn into a scared cat"
Boy : Tum Ladki Ho Ke Sharab Peeti Ho ?? Awesome reply by Girl : To Kya 2-4 Peg Ke Liye Gender Change Karwaun ??? #IndvsSA #MaukaMauka,boy: are you drinking despite being a girl? awesome reply by girl: should i change my gender for 2-4 shots? #IndvsSA #MaukaMauka
"modi is the best  ,  rahul is maha chore h  . ","modi is the best, rahul is the most wanted thief"
@srinivyasan @Kahaanify Bhai I said Wadekar,"@srinivyasan @Kahaanify brother, i said Wadekar"
@retardedwriter satya vachchan!,@retardedwriter true saying
Gareebo ki Angelina Jolie  https://twitter.com/RGVzoomin/status/728162293544968193 …,poor's Angelina Jolie  https://twitter.com/RGVzoomin/status/728162293544968193 …
@twinitisha bahot kuch?,@twinitisha so much?
Super king Du plessis ko out Kia Super king Mohit Sharma ne ! Yuhuu ! :D #IndvsSA,super king mohit sharma dismmised super king du plessis #IndvsSA
RT @Sarcastic_Raj : @nexttosrk Allah tallah rahm kare ladko ne accha khela,"RT @Sarcastic_Raj : @nexttosrk may allah and ram have mercy on us, boys played well"
Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar . Naam aur Kaam dono mein bada . 🙏,sachin ramesh tendulkar. big name big work
kachua sir maths aur english dono pdate hai  ?  =p,does kachua sir teaches both maths and english?
@Being_Humor bhai maine khaye tune khaye.. Ek hi baat hai ,) @GoodDayCookies
Actually this was one of our illustrious aero seniors before you guys joined the wing ,)
dhasu lag rahe ho salman bro miss you...........,looking handsome salman bro miss you...........
@SimplySajidK Badhiya likha hai,@SimplySajidK well written
"@retardedwriter :D Meri googly hogayi thi, 2 din tak has raha tha iss par","@retardedwriter i was so confused, i kept laughing on this for 2 days"
Bharat Mata ki jai ' not open to debate : Amit Shah https://t.co/SZvxGEYnCP via @timesofindia,"long live mother india, not open to debate: amit shah https://t.co/SZvxGEYnCP via @timesofindia"
"m sirf doordarsan hi dekhta hun us par bhi sirf pavitr bandhan ,  ,  , ","I only watch doordarshan, and also only pavitr bandhan on it"
"Haha, daaru sach bulwati hai. #InMyName","laughing , alcohol makes you tell the truth #InMyName"
@IndiaSpeaksPR @kailashkaushik8 Opposition ke Muh se khana cheen raheho .. Bahut na insaafi huwa he .,@IndiaSpeaksPR @kailashkaushik8 so much inustice in snatching food from opposition's mouth
Lekin Shart Ye Hai Ke #INDIAN #EVM Machine Se Voting Hogi :p — feeling fed up,but the bet is voting will happen on #INDIAN #EVM machine
Down to earth ?? Shaadi ke liye ladka dhoondh rahi ho ??https://twitter.com/SoulOnTransit/status/643041725678665728 …,down to earth? are you finding a groom for marriage? https://twitter.com/SoulOnTransit/status/643041725678665728 …
"Roja jaaneman, aaj se hai","sweetheart, roja is starting from today"
"uss zamaney mey john cena kidhar se aaya .  rambo ,  mogli ya undertaker ka sticker maangta to samajh aata .  pratiyogita darpan ki spelling galat hai ;-)","where did john sena come from at that time? it would have been understandable if rambo's, mowgli's or undertaker's sticker had been asked for . the spelling of the competition mirror is wrong"
"@BolshoyBooze Saturday waise bhi chutti hoti hai, baarish toh bhayankat lagi hai 3 din se","@BolshoyBooze saturday is holiday anyway, it's raining heavily since 3 days"
@coolfunnytshirt 250 k baad audience ko bhi ball dikhayi nahi di hogi aymond India version https://t.co/0vOwIqg2NJ via @sharethis,@coolfunnytshirt ball would not have been seen by the audience after 250 raymond india version https://t.co/0vOwIqg2NJ via @sharethis
coz pappu cant dance saala  .  .  .  .  gucci ka perfume lagata h sala :p :d,"because pappu can't dance, he sprays on gucci's perfume"
Ye dekho Sharma ji ka launda.. Videsh me PM ban gaya..https://twitter.com/IndiaTodayFLASH/status/649605553929371648 …,"look at this, sharmaji's son became PM in foreign https://twitter.com/IndiaTodayFLASH/status/649605553929371648 …"
@kavitabika dekh liya kya?,@kavitabika have you seen it?
@PoojaMissra Lalu and Nitish ne milke Bihar ko luta hai #NitishKaNakliVikas,@PoojaMissra lalu and nitish have looted bihar together #NitishKaNakliVikas
@Mocksterr leo nange pair vaishno devi jayega ab,@Mocksterr now leo will go to vaishno devi bare foot
@obscurehamlet Phat nahi rahi.. Inpe joke achche bante hai.. ,)
Nice bro! Nice... Khaane ka Mann ho raha hai,nice bro! nice...i feel like eating
Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo modi ji?,sometimes stay at home mr.modi
Sanitary pad se seedha notepad ...,sanitary pad to directly notepad ...
tum to emotional kar dete ho yaar .  .  .,you make me emotional bro
Ye kab hua? Kaise hua? Kyu hua?,when did this happen? how did it happen? what happened?
@Bhoolwerine IPL jeetne de bhai,@Bhoolwerine let us win IPL brother
"It was a conspiracy against us ~ Saeed Ajmal Pehle seedhe haath se bowl daal le pagle , fir moo kholna #Pakistan #IndvsPak","It was a conspiracy against us ~ saeed ajmal first bowl with a straight hand you fool, open the mouth later  #Pakistan #IndvsPak"
"Subh #MahaShivratri , Om namah Sivaya","happy #MahaShivratri, om namah shivaya"
kejriwal is such a deshdrohi .,kejriwal is such traitor
3.30 baje kaha or ab 5.30 bajane wale h abi tak aap nahi aaye kitna wait kare salman .i really love u salman,it was 3:30 o'clock and now it 's going to be 5.30 o'clock soon yet you have not come salman how much do we wait salman. i realy love you salman
@TarekFatah saab Mubarak ho ! Aap ke efforts ab aahista aahista rang dikhane lage hain 0 #MuslimWomenDignity #TripleTalaq,"@TarekFatah sir greetings to you, your efforts has gradually started showing some changes now #MuslimWomenDignity #TripleTalaq"
"@Connoisier oh, I do. ghar par maa behen hai :P","@Connoisier oh, i do. i have a mother and sister at home "
plz rply kro naAAA:<,please reply
Asalam u alekom salman bhai.,greetings salman brother
Lol. Kabhi chot ka bahan kabhi baarish ka. Haarna tumhe waise hi hai.,"lol. sometimes the excuse of injury, sometimes the rain. you are the one to lose in the end."
@iamGunjanGrunge isi bahane tune use yaad to kiya,@iamGunjanGrunge atleast you remembered him through this excuse
@peachypiscean Hindu hai him watan hai Hindustan hamara.,"@peachypiscean we are hindu, india is our country"
.@RanaAyyub ROFL aur ek sunaao,"@RanaAyyub ROFL, tell me one more"
.@sardesairajdeep Sir aapki TL kholte hi mobile se dhuaan nikalne laga. Itni buri tarah se to kabhi cooker me daal bhi nahi jalti meri.,@sardesairajdeep sir my phone starts releasing smoke as i open your TL. never even dal burns in the cooker in such a bad way.
@_SandSurfer so ja bhai,@_SandSurfer go to sleep brother
Gst k baare me mujhe jhaant bhr ki knowledge nhi pr Trending hai is liye jokes banaye jara hu. #Gst #GSTForNewIndia #gstrollout,"i don't know a bit about GST, however i keep posting jokes on it as it is trending #Gst #GSTForNewIndia #gstrollout"
@Fussy_Ca hadd se zyada,@Fussy_Ca excessively
"botal mein bichhde palon ki yaadein hoti hai, jo pikar hum unhe phir jeete hai, phir marte hai.
#Aadab","there are memories of split moments left in the bottle, after drinking, we live them again, then die again #Aadab"
"Samsung jitne bhi phone bana le, sab same dikhte hai.","all the phones that samsung makes, looks similar "
Ek dhakka aur do #TejoMahalayhttps://twitter.com/ANINewsUP/status/714825022859128832 …,give one more push #TejoMahalayhttps://twitter.com/ANINewsUP/status/714825022859128832 …
manikchand .  .  .  . zee cine .  .  . na jaane kaun kaun se awards aate hain new year par  !,manikchand . . . zee cine. . . don't know how many awards appear on the new year
"""Halka sa pair utha aur jab tak peeche mud ke dekha, parthiv patel apna kaam kar chuke the"" #BoycottHindiCommentary #GLvMI","lifted my leg a little and when i looked back, parthiv patel had done his work #BoycottHindiCommentary #GLvMI"
"Maa ka pyar, havells ke wire se roti banegi aur tandoor bhi.","mother's love, howells wire will be used to make roti and tandoor. "
bhaijaan hume aap par pura barosa he....aap aisi baat kavi kaar hi nhi skte....lov u bhaijaan?????????,"brother, we have complete faith in you .... you cannot say such a thing ever .... love you brother ?"
"Holi kab hai, kab hai holi?
Pakistan ki bajayega virat kohli

#IndiaPakSlogans","when is holi, when is holi? virat kohli will knock out pakistan #IndiaPakSlogans"
hell0 salman khan...kesy h ap..??,"hello salman khan, how are you?"
" ab ye toh sab hi jaante hai ki Aradhya Bachhan ke peeche bhai ka haath hai. Errr.
Matlab uska bhi career set karenge bhai.",everyone knows that bhai is behind aaradhya bachchan. meaning bhai will also set her career
.@HuffPostIndia bhai tumse achche joke to Naiduniya wale maar lete hai,".@HuffPostIndia brother, aliens jokes better than you"
westbound into the u . s . - ongoing bridge inspection- construction - may be delays - eastbound into canada- trucks no delay -cars no delay,westbound into the united states of america - ongoing bridge inspection- construction - may be delays - eastbound into canada- trucks no delay -cars no delay
"My most fav twitter line of 2015

""Behen kabhi apne pati par bhi dore daal diya kar"" ","my most fav twitter line of 2015 ""sister sometimes concentrate on your husband too"""
bhai aap tou best he bajrangi bhaijaan ATBB hogi ,)
Dilli walo so gaye kya..,"people of delhi, are you asleep?"
@Insane_chorri Bas karo ab raat me rulaogi kya @HathwalaThakur @hitennarendra @MeetUunngLee,"@Insane_chorri stop it now, will you make me cry in the night? @HathwalaThakur @hitennarendra @MeetUunngLee"
@narendramodi sir mujhe aapki '''' man ki bat '''' bhut achha lga . thank you sir,@narendramodi sir i loved your '' man ki bat ''. thank you sir
Agle aur 2 saal tak aisa lag nahi raha ki good news aayega :(,for the next 2 years it does not seem that good news will come
hindi aur english dono hi kachua sir padhte hain .  .  .  . :d,kachua sir teaches both hindi and english
Kahan gaye #JNU wale ? Yeh murder ya violence nahin ? #Hindulivesmatter @Sagatikaghose @sardesairajdeep Nidhi Razdan ?,where are the people of #JNU? isn't it a murder or violence? #Hindulivesmatter @Sagatikaghose @sardesairajdeep Nidhi Razdan ?
Arranged to send Rudalis from Rajasthan today to #JNU . Matam me inka sath dene ke liye . Kya kahtey hey @tufailelif @rishibagree @AnupamPkher,arranged to send rudalis from rajasthan today to #JNU .what you say to accompany them in crisis?  @tufailelif @rishibagree @AnupamPkher
mujhe to itni thand lgti h ki mei kbhi aesa nhi krti thi .  .  :d,iI feel so cold that I never used to do this. . :d
"Modi: Ye Kapil Mishra..
Shah:pic.twitter.com/QSsQC9ynys","modi: this Kapil Mishra..
shah:pic.twitter.com/QSsQC9ynys"
Kidhar bhi bolo bhai! :P,wherever you sat brother! :P
"""@narendramodi sir please Burnol ko bhi free mein distribute karwa de. Bahut logon ko jarurat padne waali hai #GST _IMPACT","@narendramodi sir, please get barnol also distributed for free. a lot of people are going to need it#GST _IMPACT"
Super duper flop show k bad jignya na Jane Kaha gayab Ho gaya dekh Lena kaha apni aag buzane gaya he? Red lighting area #jnu me tovnhi hain? #JigneshFlopShow,"don't know where did jignya go after the super duper flop show, you see he must have gone to satisfy his lustTowanhi in Red Lighting Area Janu?"
@iamGunjanGrunge haha.. Shaadi ka laddoo jo khaye....,@iamGunjanGrunge had eaten marriage laddoos
@doc_chopra phone me call feature ne kaam karna band kar diya kya ?,@doc_chopra did the call feature in the phone stop working?
@Indian_Azzurri Bahut maroonga. Rashi bhi,@Indian_Azzurri will beat you hard. rashi also
RT @Srk_HolicJaved : That Wicked Laugh of This Man ... Shah Rukh Khan ... Udne Ki Bat Parinde Krte Hain Madan ChopraTute Hue Par Nahi ... http…,RT @Srk_HolicJaved : that wicked laugh of this man ... shah rukh khan ... birds talk about flying madan chopra not broken wings 
@Ra_Bies @runjhunmehrotra nahi bhaiyya mujhe bilkul pasand nahi ke aapki koi izzat na kare. Sanskaar hone chahiye,"Ra_Bies @runjhunmehrotra no brother, I do not like anyone that does not respect you. must have values and virtues"
Wah maja aa gaya.,it was fun
"ye to hamesha ka hai , jab match ho raha hota hai , to ye totke kaam aate hain yaar","this is always the case, when the match is being held, these tricks come handy"
anyone wanna tell me why us trending says bon jovi performed at the grammys .  aren't they in feb ?,anyone wanna tell me why us trending says bon jovi performed at the grammys. aren't they in february ?
@kitAnurag  bhaiya ek pun kitne ka diya,"@kitAnurag  brother, how much was a pun"
Ek main aur ek two = 4,one me plus one two equals four
Thalaivar entry daa #Kohli #Champ #IndvsBan,heroic entry brother #Kohli #Champ #IndvsBan
#SurgicalStrikes to bahut hue ! Pak pe Aatankwad pe KaaleDhan pe TTT pe Naxal pe Vipaksh ke Scams pe ! Tabhi to Chichha bigadey hue hai,"many #SurgicalStrikes happened such as on pakistan's terrorism, on black money, on naxals in TTT, and on opposition's scams, that's why education is destroyed"
"@MeetUunngLee bas, Bacardi bol rahi hai main nahi :-D","@MeetUunngLee just bacardi is speaking, i am not"
@Atheist_Krishna mujhe bhi le lo na wapas AAP me..pic.twitter.com/atrsFMmxpU,@Atheist_Krishnaplease  take me back into AAP pic.twitter.com/atrsFMmxpU
chi chi chi ye kya padh liya mainepic.twitter.com/LtzUWsGjyL,"oh no, what have I read? mainepic.twitter.com/LtzUWsGjyL"
i miss writing with chalk ,-(
Tumne bhagwaan ko bhi phaansa? Haaye zaalim kanya,"are you framing the god too?, you cruel lady"
hahahaha .  .  .  4 games aur unke bhi repeat :d,4 games that also on repeat 
@Singhlicious @MohitParmarr Thodi training kar daeen meri kadey kudiyaan to time Miley jad,? 
@Atheist_Krishna Ye le Hand grenade sambhalpic.twitter.com/vJNL3jSFc7,@Atheist_Krishna take this hand grenade sambhalpic.twitter.com/vJNL3jSFc7
#Dhoni maar nahi hai shant ho jao ... Kal ke liya bhi kuch rakhu aaj he sab tweet kar dunge kya ...,"#Dhoni don't keep hitting, be calm, keeping something to tweet tomorrow, will not tweet everything today only"
Unme to khud Akshay Kumar bhi confuse ho gaya tha bhai. Raveena samajh ke Twinkle ke sath shaadi kar li.https://twitter.com/Sarcaism_/status/766237338829717505 …,akshay kumar himself got confused between them brother. married twinkle misunderstanding her as raveena. https://twitter.com/Sarcaism_/status/766237338829717505
har gaye to thode na bangladesh ko support karunga .  .,"why would I support bangladesh, we having lost? "
bachpan me inn advertisement ne bahut confuse kiya hai .  :@,this advertisements confused me a lot in my childhood 
@Matchify Ans 9 jhootha khane se pyaar badhta hai #SingleNoMore,@Matchify eating one other's eaten food  strengthens love #SingleNoMore
itni detail tujhe kha se pta chalin  ?  ?  ?,where did you find these many details? 
ohhhh hooooo blind bhakt .  .,oh blind devotee
is baar shaan bhai bach gaye .  .  !  !  :p,saved our respect this time
@theUglyDude007 @suzali86 ruz kaam karta tu sunday ku office nahi jana padta,"@theUglyDude007 @suzali86 if you would have everyday, you wouldn't have to go to office on sunday"
"Number DM kar do, abhi Whatsapp karte hai","DM me your number, let's chat over what's app then"
"tune kyu chhod diya? Ladki thodi hi hai, sharaab hai.","why did you leave it? it's alchohol, not a girl"
Iske pehle ja bill nahi dekha tha kya bhai...usme to aur jyada 20% ke aas paas lagta tha....#GoodAndSimpleTax #GST,"didn't you see the previous bill, there it was looking more closer to 20% #GoodAndSimpleTax #GST"
Sau chuhe kha ke billi pravachan dene chali  https://twitter.com/CatWomaniya/status/741547722759512066 …,Came for giving out a speech ahven eatedn hundread mouses. https://twitter.com/CatWomaniya/status/741547722759512066
@OfficeOfRG aapki chunni hue sarkar Pogoman aur Shaktiman mein busy hai .. ye to hoga hi ..,"your selected government is busy watching pogo and shaktiman, this is expected to happen "
Marella hai toh woh zinda kaise ho sakta hai? Hadh hai.,how come a dead person can live again? it's too much
Delicious Crab masala @Chilika dhaba ... #food #seafood #chilikadhaba #winterstart #dussera #special https://t.co/RfOGBOwmIT,delicious crab masala @Chilika dhaba #food #seafood #chilikadhaba #winterstart #dussera #special https://t.co/RfOGBOwmIT
aaj ke jamane me tv antena wala .  .  .  hhahaha .,antena based tv in today's world
Sir hope u stood for Sunanda bhabhi in the same way.. Achcha lagta humkohttps://twitter.com/ShashiTharoor/status/737512140131557376 …,sir hope u stood for sunanda bhabhi in the same way. i liked it https://twitter.com/ShashiTharoor/status/737512140131557376 …
RT @OYERJALOK : And the Rockkkkk is Cookingggggggg @TheRock with @priyankachopra while #Baywatch film Shoot . @baywatchmovie #RjAlok https://,@OYERJALOK : and the rock is cooking @TheRock with @priyankachopra while #Baywatch film Shoot . @baywatchmovie #RjAlok https://
Bhai majak tha kya? ,)
"Aaj se shona "" jaanu "" baby recharge karwado na","from today, bae, baby please do a recharge for me"
Cc @SherlynChopra kheera chhod ye try kare https://twitter.com/RowdyTalks/status/790807557329661952 …,@SherlynChopra leave kheera and try this https://twitter.com/RowdyTalks/status/790807557329661952 …
@Sand_In_Deed pehle to ek Tharoor wali bhi thi ,)
Aaj se #TRUMP ka time shuru ...!! #RAEES #DonaldTrump #Donald #Trump #USA #America #president,#TRUMP's work starts from today #RAEES #DonaldTrump #Donald #Trump #USA #America #president
"@BolshoyBooze Adivasi bhaiyon ka kalyan horaha aur tumko usmein racism dikhayi de raha hai, lagta hai tumhari shaadi hone wali hai :-P","@BolshoyBooze tribals are getting benefitted and you see recism in that too, looking like you are getting married"
Sundar ekdam sahi Gaya Hua gana.chhotisi gudiya ko naman,"beatifful, a song perfectly sung. hats off to little girl"
@aanchalator arre ghar ghar ki kahani. Kader khan rishi kapoor shashikala one,"@aanchalator kader khan, rishi kapoor, and shashikala's ""ghar ghar ki kahani"" ."
@BabaFirki kya kar raha hai?,@BabaFirki what are you doing?
@HathwalaThakur hahaa.. Thakur bhai kya thoka hai aapne @ArvindKejriwal ko,@HathwalaThakur what a hit on @ArvindKejriwal thakur brother
"nta viewers 7:00am on other tues 10 , 000 the viewers on this tues 7:00 50 , 000000","nta viewers 7:00 am on other tuesdays are 10000 ,the viewers on this tuesday 7:00am are 50000000"
guddu khada nhi ho sakta q ki guddu ka khada ho gya h :-(,guddu can't stand up because he is already standing
Propose dude . Give her flowers . Tell her how much you love her,propose dude. give her flowers. tell her how much you love her.
PIB_India #UHF RT RailMinIndia : 67% more funds allotted for passenger amenities #RailBudget2015 Catch it live http://t.co/Yurj6O5LMW,PIB_India #UHF railMinIndia: 67% more funds allotted for passenger amenities #RailBudget2015 catch it live http://t.co/Yurj6O5LMW
@Atheist_Krishna kya baat boli haipic.twitter.com/wy6B5r9a8x,@Atheist_Krishna what did she say? haipic.twitter.com/wy6B5r9a8x
@DefucktiveHumor android marshmallow me bhi hai  @kitAnurag,@DefucktiveHumor it's in android marshmallow too @kitAnurag
@MehtaaRupaaa aaye haaye DP,@MehtaaRupaaa DP is here
"RT @ndtv : JNU student Kanhaiya Kumar , arrested on sedition charges , granted bail by Delhi High Court . https://t.co/Y1NVk2mRuP","@ndtv: jnu student kanhaiya kumar, arrested on sedition charges, granted bail by delhi high court. https://t.co/Y1NVk2mRuP"
@kavitabika tum to baat hi mat karo.. Australia gayee aur kuch layee bhi nahi mere liye @byomkesbakshi,@kavitabika don't you even talk. you went to australia and did not bring anything for me @byomkesbakshi
@iamGunjanGrunge Kal Holi khelna hai.. Kal to match tumhe hi samhalna padega bhai,"@iamGunjanGrunge tomorrow i will play holi, you only have to take care of the match brother"
english vatavarn  ? /  .  .  .  to guddu ko english movie bhi dekhne do ,)
Yaar aise chadao mat isko.,"bro, don't make anyone excite like this"
@ArvindKejriwal Sir #SurgicalStrike ka video nahi dekha thha na .. Aaj ka match dekh lo #INDvPAK #CT 17,@ArvindKejriwal sir #SurgicalStrike ka video nahi dekha thha na. aaj ka match dekh lo #INDvPAK #CT 17
masle sheher ke bade ya chote hone se nahi hote hai .. masle to bas ho jaate hai ..!!,"problems does nor arise due size of the city, they arise irrespective of how big a city is"
"@001SHREYANS maaf kar do bhai, ab se nahi karunga  @zzoker","@001SHREYANS forgive me brother, will not do that again @zzoker"
#GST rates Kam ho Gaye ...Aab to growth patri par aa jayengi na Bhai....,"#GST rates have been lowered, shouldn't growth come in line now brother"
"@adhia03 Ur name is hasmukh par tum sabko rulate ""ho #DeMonetisation #GST dono me ""rulaya dhandha ""choupat daya karo Mai baap @BJP4India","@adhia03 your name is hasmukh but you make everyone cry, made us cry during both #DeMonetisation and #GST, our business collapsed, have some mercy on us @BJP4India"
Modi ji abhi vividh bharti par dard bhare naghme sun rahe honge. Ye kya hua.. kaise hua..,"mr.modi will be hearing sad words on vividh bharti now, why did this happen? how did it happed?"
Ye dekho @twinitisha ka instagrampic.twitter.com/zJ8jPFqwiK,look at this @twinitisha ka instagrampic.twitter.com/zJ8jPFqwiK
" "" if 15000 cctv for obama is possible in 2 days then 150000 cctv is also possible in 5 years .  "" ",if 15000 cctv for obama is possible in 2 days then 150000 cctv is also possible in 5 years .
Zara soongh ke batao mantriji nashta mein kya hai?https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/880371686721241088 …,dear minister tell us what is in  breakfast after smelling https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/880371686721241088 …
doosre section ki bandiyan bhi taad lete the :p,used to stalk girls of other sections from far away
desh ko #GST #demonetization se Barbad karneke baad Bhi JIN logo ne kabhi maafi nahi maangi Aise logo se hum koi Aur UMMID bhi kaise rakh sakte hai? I mean kaise? How?,how can we keep a hope from people who don't even seek forgiveness after destroying nation with #demonatization and #GST?
@iMademoiselle NACHO SAARE G PHAAD KE,@iMademoiselle dance with all your heart
@zehernaak andar ghuste hi so jaana... train mein!,@zehernaak go to sleep quickly after entering the train  
Aise log bhi gyaan de rahe hai. Sigh.https://twitter.com/SuchAMisfit/status/660861799458332672 …,people like him are also giving knowledge Sigh.https://twitter.com/SuchAMisfit/status/660861799458332672 
"Ye kab bola maine?! :-O 
Ye jo alka alka suroor hai?","when did i say that? ""ye jo alka alka suroor he"""
Salman apke fans pahle apka dharm nhi.....apke Indian pahle hone ki vajah se pasand karte h. Aur apke sbhi chahne wale ka koi bi dharm ho.salman aap Hiro ho unke,"salman, your fans love you not because of your religion but because you are indian first. and all your fans do love you irrespective of their religion"
"सुहाग रात

Wife: Aaj hamari pehli raat hai.. Kuch boliye na romantic sa..

Anoop soni :Savdhaan aur satark rahe, apna khyaal rakhe, jai hind","only the first night of marriage,  wife: today is our first night, please say something romantic, anoop soni: be alert and awake, protect tourself, hail india"
RT @SirJadeja : Sachin Tendulkar Can Be Replaced By Virat Kohli . But No One Can Ever Replace MS Dhoni . RT If You Agree . #IndvsBan #BANvsI,@SirJadeja : sachin tendulkar can be replaced by virat kohli. but no one can ever replace ms dhoni . retweet if you agree. #IndvsBan #BANvsI
Jab Ungli sehen nahi hoti to kiya bhi mat karohttps://twitter.com/Vidyut/status/638282280428011520 …,"when you can't keep your finger straight, then don't try to do so "
"@BolshoyBooze logon ki jaati nahi meri aati nahi ,",@BolshoyBooze people's can't make it disappear and i can't learn it
"@indiantweeter daal roti chal jati hai bhai iPhone, Brio aur 3 bhk ka EMI bharne ke bad ","@indiantweeter after paying emi of iphonr, brio, and 3bhk home, can't afford a meal also"
"mausa guzar gaye, I'm bewa","maternal uncle is no more, i am broke now"
"haha bhai, ye hum karte hai bas bataate nahi hai. _/\_
Magar ladki a DM feels much better, yes :P","yes brother, we all do this, but nobody tells about it. but, a girls's direct message feels much better, yes."
@basantiiii Koo tumhe ye sab bhi chalu kar diya.. Chalo achcha hai ,)
"Owaisi in dream, ""Bharat Mata ki Jai!""
Owaisi wakes up, feels sorry ""Afzal hum sharminda hain"".","owaisi in dream, ""hail mother india""
owaisi wakes up, feels sorry ""afzal i am embarrassed""."
"this doesn't happen always in all cases kyo  ,  teachers ko badnam kar rahe ho  ? ","this doesn't happen always in all cases, why are you defaming teachers? "
could be one of the greatest nights of my life carmelo anthony winked &amp, acknowledged me twice and sat 2 rows back at the knicks game !  #ca7
"maa ko bhi beech mein layega, yaar teri pyas kab bhujegi? Hadh hai yaar.","are you going to strech mother into it, when will your thirst satisfy? it's too much bro"
"@ruchikokcha Dil lekar kahde hai hum jaise bhikari, maanga bhi toh husn walo ne toh mutton niharipic.twitter.com/t3liMDo9lD","@ruchikokcha beggers like us say with all our hearts, beatiful people also asked for mutton niharipic.twitter.com/t3liMDo9lD"
"Muslim Behenon kon Justice milne par khush ho rahe the Bhakts "" Hindu behen ko Justice mila toh AAG laga diye 0 #tripleTalaq #haryanaBurning",people were being happy hearing justice for muslim sisters while set things on fire when hindu sisters got justice #tripleTalaq #haryanaBurning
@kaalia_bhatt Jaani joine nahi bhai,@kaalia_bhatt not deliberately brother
"@OneTipOneHand_ ""Meri uchaiyon pe pohochne ke liye bohot girna padega"" :P",@OneTipOneHand_ you gonna have to go dirty low to reach at my heights
@Kahaanify yeh ho chuka hai?,@Kahaanify this has been done?
" ""@chinu_bhai: @Dorkstar Yaad mat dila bhai... Aaj tak paidal he ghoom raha hu..""","@chinu_bhai: @Dorkstar don't make me remember bro, i have been till today "
"@runjhunmehrotra isiliy toh aadhi batein boli, aadha cavity aadha root kanal. Technicality ko samjho","@runjhunmehrotra this is why only half of the things is told, half cavity and half root canal, understand the technicality behind it"
indian cricket is all about sharma ji ka ladka ya sharma ji ki ladki .  .  . :p,indian cricket is all about mr.sharma's son or mr.sharma's daughter 
@Champ_Nikk pyaaz ki kachori khayee hai Jodhpur ki,@Champ_Nikk have you tried jodhpur's onion kachori?
@huh_watnow sooraj hua maddham,@huh_watnow sun has gone dim now
ye le bade jingoor ki photo dekhpic.twitter.com/ksoMUunqab,see this photo of big beetle pic.twitter.com/ksoMUunqab
RT @BrokenCricket : Virat Kohli can walk on water .. Virat Kohli can read girls mind .. Virat Kohli can cross Bermuda triangle ..,@BrokenCricket: virat kohli can walk on water. virat kohli can read girls mind. virat kohli can cross bermuda triangle.
@Sulci_Gyri kabhi kabhi karna padta hai. Ab se band,@Sulci_Gyri somethings had to do that. it won't happen from today.
@LoKarDi_RT yaar nazakhat ko samjho,@LoKarDi_RT understand the delicacy bro
@Gurmeetramrahim #BlockBusterMSG Thanku papa ji n ap ji ko bhi Mahashivratri ke bht2 mubark ho ji ....!!!!!!! http://t.co/Tio1nD76t3,"@Gurmeetramrahim #BlockBusterMSG thank you father, and a very happy mahashivratri to you too http://t.co/Tio1nD76t3"
"Rana Ayyub is the ghanta of twitter.

Jo bhi aata hai baja ke jata hai..",Rana Ayyub is like the bell of twitter. anyone who comes across him rings it
Manmohan ne bhi aaj kaali patti laga kar dharna diya. Patti unka peecha nahin chhod rahi. Kabhi baanh par to kabhi munh par.,manmohan also staged a black strip today. strip is not leaving him. sometimes on the arm and sometimes on the mouth.
@friendlii_ghost @Atheist_Krishna iske saath ye vinoo mankad kaun hai?,@friendlii_ghost @Atheist_Krishna who is this vinoo mankad with him?
"Ashutosh ko dilli mein khulla chhod do,  BJP 70 seats par jeetegi guaranteed. Abhi bhi time hai.","leave ashutosh open in delhi, bjp will win 70 seats. there is still time"
"""Sarkar phone call kar lijiye! Aaj Kal call rates Bohot kam ho gye hai. Some plans have free calls as well! #delhipollution #yokejrisoslow #delhiAirpollution",government please make a phone call!. nowadays the call rates have reduced a lot. some plans have free calls as well! #DelhiPollution #Okjarrisolove #DelhierPollution
@someUSER down to blaze with joe and i tomorrow ?,@someUSER down to blaze with joe and i tomorrow?
lagta h aap c offer mila h kya ?,you seem to have received mutual offer?
#LaluMuktBihar is like Fafoond Mukt Anchaar,#LaluMuktBihar is like pickle without mold
"nope . wake up at 8 ? of all things , dinner ?? at 9 ?? daya kardo ! plus you weren't even born when i quit tattling !","nope. wake up at 8? of all things, dinner? at 9 ? have mercy! plus you weren't even bored when i quit tattling!"
@HathwalaThakur bhai inke toilets me bhi AC hai @Jadhugar @ArvindKejriwal,@HathwalaThakur brother they have ac in their toilets @Jadhugar @ArvindKejriwal
Ye sahi kiya hai!,this is done right!
a jo comment krne ko socho wo pehle hi kar diya fehta hai kisi ne .  .  aur wo bhi 50+ likes k sath :d,"whatever i thinks to comment, it has already been done, moreover there are 50+ likes on it"
"@kazal1401 @KurkureSnacks Be chatpata this tayohaar
#whysosweet
#whysosweetcards http://bit.ly/1LRo6BC pic.twitter.com/pvyczpEajq","@kazal1401 @KurkureSnacks be piquant this festival #whysosweet
#whysosweetcards http://bit.ly/1LRo6BC pic.twitter.com/pvyczpEajq"
"Gets up . Voice from the lounge "" Aur dekho aik aur supporter jaag gyi hai "" 🙄🙄🙄🙄","gets up. voice from the lounge ""look at there one more supporter waking up"""
Aarambh hai prachand bole mastakon ki jhund aaj jung ke ghadi ki tum puhaar do https://twitter.com/PDChina/status/824332292608892928,"The beginning is a swarm of great speaking masters today, call the clock of war  https://twitter.com/PDChina/status/824332292608892928"
Colors has a Gujarati channel. Can't wait to see Balika Vadhu in Gujarati.,colors has a gujarati channel. can't wait to see balika vadhu in gujarati.
"SRK: Ek angel aayega heaven se, aur woh hum sabke liye old monk layega 
#KalHoNaHoDevdasMashUp #NoPaisa #MonthEnd","srk: an angel will come from heaven and will bring old monk for us
#KalHoNaHoDevdasMashUp #NoPaisa #MonthEnd"
.@ankitlal  Spy cam hai to photo bhi daal do. Spy cam kya debonair blog ko de diye?,"@ankitlal if there is a spy camera then, post photo also. did you give spy camera for debonair blog?"
@itsdhruvism bahut din ho gaye,@itsdhruvism many days have past
watched the vow for the 5th time and i'm still tearing .  what's wrong with this movie .  it's tooo .  .  .  omg i can't even .,watched the vow for the 5th time and i'm still tearing. what's wrong with this movie. it's tooo. omg i can't even.
lo aa gya mai...salman ka fan...swagat nhi kroge hamara?,"and here i am, salman's fan, won'n you welcome me?"
good luck to @someUSER tomorrow at the #freakshow in las vegas  !  !  get after it man .  you're going to smash on fools !  :),good luck to @someUSER tomorrow at the #freakshow in las vegas!! get after it man. you're going to smash on fools! :)
1 Saal Pahle : Mujhe ganga maiyya ne bulaya hai . 1 Saal Baad : Ab agar aaya to bhigo bhigo ke ...... #Modi,"one year ago: mother ganga has called me. one year later: now if i come, will come being soaked #Modi"
@NehaT_ aunty mere piece kabhi mat padhna  @bhak_sala,@NehaT_ aunty don't you ever read my piece @bhak_sala
Main ja raha hun agle hafte. Mujhe wahan ki shaam bahut pasand hai.,"i am going there next week, i love evening at there"
@_Agathist aaj doubt ho raha hai,@_Agathist today i am in doubt
(gandhi)he iz a murderer. he killed subhas ch. bose,gandhi is a murderer. he killed subhash chandra bose
"Amriki Saddar "" White House Me Bharat Ka Sacha Dost Betha Hai "" #Trump","Saddar of america ""india's true friend is sitting in white house "" #Trump"
love is like michael jackson's 8th nose  .  .  you'll never understand it,love is like michael jackson's 8th nose . you'll never understand it
crowd was almost same but size of accommodation was different .  100 people in 500 syds .  plot and 100 people in 200 sqyds .  plot .,crowd was almost same but size of accommodation was different. 100 people in 500 square yards plot and 100 people in 200 square yards plot.
@ek_samosa_dena mujhe to paida hote hi block pel diya,@ek_samosa_dena i was put on block from my birth
@ImRaina Chat session kab hai ... Is baar mujhe miss nahi karna hai .... #AskRaina,@ImRaina when is chat session?. i don't want to misst it this time #AskRaina
@dhaval241086 jisne kari sharam.. Uske phoote karam  @BihariTweeter,"@dhaval241086 the one who has shame, losses his karam @BihariTweeter"
"Bumrah bhai, itni yorkers maarta hai, ek to khel bhi leta ","brother bumrah, you throw this many yorkers, should have atleast played one "
Mohit Sharma KO wicket . Something seriously wrong with SA . #SAvsIND,wicket by mohit sharma something seriously wrong with south africa. #SAvsIND
tu bada active ho rakha hai bhai @ garbage bin,you are getting too active brother @ garbage bin
Muje aap bhout aache lagkte hai bachpan se dekti aa rai hu or marte dam tak dekungi i am a big fan. . . . 4rm nepal,"i have a feeling you and i like you so much, i have been watching you since my childhood and will see you till my death fourm nepal"
"@Ra_Bies nahi chahiye Doga, maine soch lliya hai ki apna jeewan twitter par pseudo nationalist ban kar samarpan kar du.","i don't want, doga, I have thought that I should dedicate my life as a sudo nationalist on twitter."
@MhaAgyaani Painter Babu humri life tanik aasaan bana diye hain. Thanksva! https://www.crashthepepsiipl.com/resources.html  #CrashThePepsiIPL,@MhaAgyaani mr.painter.please make our life somewhat easy thanksva! https://www.crashthepepsiipl.com/resources.html  #CrashThePepsiIPL
Zayn ne band chhoda hai duniya nahi. #RIPZayn,"zayn has left the band, not this world #RIPZayn"
@Ra_Bies Sir pootna ki kasam maine aisa kuch nahi kiya @svetlana25,"@Ra_Bies sir i swear on pootna, i haven't done anything like this @svetlana25"
@premlata_rai teri aankhein hai kahan? Aaj tak nahi dikhe,@premlata_rai where are your eyes? haven't seen you till today
Stupido mentioned me. Bas kismat khul gayi. Wahe guru ji da lakh lakh shukrhttps://twitter.com/Stupidosaur/status/750327659989651456 …,"stupido mentioned me. my luck has opened. wow, guruji, thanks a lot https://twitter.com/Stupidosaur/status/750327659989651456 …"
@Atheist_Krishna Kaash meri bhi @LaliJogan37 jaisi teacher hoti @Sinceere_Angel,@Atheist_Krishna i wish i had a teacher like @LaliJogan37  @Sinceere_Angel
@NamitaThe Bhabhi bade din baad yaad kiya,"@NamitaThe sister-in-law, remembered us after a long time"
gGuyssss meri profile picture kesi leg rahi hai..???,"guys, how is my profile picture?"
@BJP4India Modi Khattar slogan beti padhao beti bachao'. In practice rape murder honay do. Nikamba baysarm ho kar dekhtay raho.,"@BJP4India Modi Khattar slogan ""beti padhao beti bachao'. In practice let rap and murder happen and be useless, shameful and keep watching"
"Humor bola hai, tumor padh liya inhone.https://twitter.com/thetanmay/status/885398655485837312 …",They misspelled humor as tumor. https://twitter.com/thetanmay/status/885398655485837312 …
Agar Mumbai mein aakar bhi raai ka tel lagao toh #बिहारी_हो_तुम,"If you take mustard oil in Mumbai, then you are a disease #बिहारी_हो_तुम"
"Zindagi theek nahi chal rahi to koi baat nahi, WiFi theek se chalna chahiye
#FirstWorldProblem","No problem if life is not going well, WiFi should be running properly #FirstWorldProblem"
rishta pakka ho gaya kya ?,Is your relationship fixed?
Ye to baizti he ho gae Dhawan #IndvsSA,"They are insulted, Dhavan #IndvsSA"
Ab condemn bolne ke liye #AbkiModiSarkar nai laye the Action chaiye .. Pakistan se pehle India ke andar jo gaddar hai unpe #surgicalstrike ho,"we did not elect #AbkiModiSarkar to say condemn. we want action. Before pakistan, traitors and corrupted people should face #surgicalstrike"
bus maa hi sab samjhti hai .  .  . ye guddu hamesha maa ki yaad dilata hai .  .  . :'(,Only mother understands everything.  This Guddu always reminds me of mother. : '(
what you got man  .  .  .  .  ?  ?  ?  ?  it is written by a girl and as you are not indian you may not know what is score  !  !  !,What you got man ? ? ? ?  it is written by a girl and as you are not indian you may not know what is score! ! !
@klpe @sinpulsive kuch pata nahi chala  @drpoonam,@klpe @sinpulsive understood nothing @drpoonam
Toh phir kya karne ka time hai?,then what it's time to do?
"Jai bhole baba Happy mahashivratri @akshaykumar sir , @mrsfunnybones mam & all akkians .","""Jai bhole baba"", Happy mahashivratri @akshaykumar sir , @mrsfunnybones mam & all akkians ."
# _ _ mujhe tumpe dil agya h,# _ _ my heart has fallen for you
yaar guddu bade confidence se answer diya :) :) :) :d :d :d :d,bro guddu answeres with great confidence :) :) :) :d :d :d :d
@narendramodi sir me local bus me hu Janta #GST pe apki shrahan kr Rahi hai ap aise hi Janta ka Bharosa banaye rakiye from Samdari Siwana.RJ,"In the local bus in @narendramodi sir, the public is listening to you on calmly, keep the trust of the public like this from Sandari Siwana. RJ"
Kis khuda ko dhund rahe ho? Khuda toh yahan hai.pic.twitter.com/4rgYmta15j,Which God are you looking for? The God is here pic.twitter.com/4rgYmta15j
#BulletTrain ke liye jo Japan se loan liya hai @narendramodi uska Sood ab #GST ke roop mein Ludhiana bus stand vasoolna shuru,"@narendramodi, who took a loan from Japan for #BulletTrain, now starts charging interest from Ludhiana bus stand via #GST"
"RT @RoflGandhi_ : From ' broken shoulder ' to ' injured shoulder ' overnight . Itna fast recovery , Patanjali lep lagaye kya @vivekagnihotri https",RT @RoflGandhi_ : From ' broken shoulder ' to ' injured shoulder '. how come he recovered this fast overnight? did you apply patanjali tube?  @vivekagnihotri https
.@Rollingstone678 tu gadha hai kya jo log tujhe ghaas daalte hai @iamGunjanGrunge @witchybitchygal,".@Rollingstone678 are you a donkey, should we feed grass to you? @iamGunjanGrunge @witchybitchygal"
hahaha main fire ho raha hu :P,"yes, I am on fire :P"
@zoomphatak Paisa insaan ki neeyat badal deta hai. Mujhe bhi chahiye.,@zoomphatak money changes peoples's intentions. I also want it.
@RanaAyyub cricket ko hi itna change agaya .. abhi war hai agey .. bharath mata ki jai bolna practice karlo,Cricket has been changed so much. war is ahead now. Start practicing speaking hail mother India
#ShivRajSinghChauhan agar apne to #trump keh de to ki herani nahi hogi 0,"If #ShivRajSinghChauhan calls humself #trump, it won't be surprising"
Chalo Aaj kuch Queue k kisse sunte hain 0 #notebandi #aniversary @myfmindia #jiyodilse #ChaloAajKuchAchchaSunteHain,Let's here some stories on queues today #notebandi #aniversary @myfmindia #jiyodilse #ChaloAajKuchAchchaSunteHain
"@bhaiyyajispeaks hum bade ho ya nahi, us chote aadmi se to bohot uppar hai :P","@bhaiyyajispeaks whether we are big or small, we are definitely above that small man :P"
@Miss_Ankiita bebo ye pyaar ka mamla hai.. hum log beech me nahi bol sakte,"@Miss_Ankiita Bebo this is a matter of love, we can't interfere and speak in between here"
"Ghotala @INCIndia ke raj me ho to #manmohansingh doshi "" bjp ke raj me ho to officials doshi .. aur ise kahte nishpaksh patrakarita .. mitroooooo ....... Na khaunga "" na khane dunga ..","If scam happens during reign of @INCIndia, #manmohansingh is believed guilty and if same happens during reign of BJP, officials are made guilty, and they say this as fair journalism, freinds I will not do corruption and will not allow anyone to do corruption "
tumhare bachche hai ? ! Jis society mein log bacchon ko rape karte hai waha kya hona chahiye ?,Do you have children? What should be there in the society where people rape children?
"are ye kachua sir kine subjects padha lete hai ?  kabhi english ,  kabhi maths :o","Hey, how many subjects do kachua sir can teach? Sometimes English, sometimes Maths :o"
@bhak_sala bhai sarcastic hai kya ?,"@bhak_sala brother, are you sarcastic? "
Sllam bhai jaan EIDmubarakh.,Sllam brother happy EID
chipke to the sab log but we #lost #game:-(,"Everyone was stuck to one another, but we #lost the #game :("
"Kuch nahi badla since 1992 ... India wonPak lostSachin was in stadiumI was infront of TVHindustan Zindabaad tha , hai aur Rahega . Jai Hind","Nothing has changed since 1992. India won and Pakistan lost. Sachine was in stadium and was in front of TV. India was great, is great and will be great forever. Jai Hind"
Mom - Ye tri new Tee kisne dilai haan,Mom - who bought you this tri new Tee
Bas kar chikoo @TweetErrant Ab rulaega kya,"Stop it chikoo @TweetErrant, will you make me cry now? "
love u maa .  .  .  u always hide all our mistakes n shower your unconditional love all d tyme  .  .,"love you mother, you always hide all our mistakes and shower your unconditional love all the time. "
1 ye papao ka alg hi rhta hai  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . eco .  pdha kro purchasing power kam ho jati h time k sath,Dad's have all different understanding. Read economics and your purchasing power will decrease 
aise kawn baat karta hai be ?  meri dulhan lol,Who talks like that? My bride lol
@witchybitchygal ab jaake aaya mere bechain dil ko aaram,@witchybitchygal now comes to rest my restless heart 
@iSharadPandey ha ha ha...aur bhi kar dengey :),@iSharadPandey ha ha.. Will do more :)
"Everybody ignores such brutal rape cases. Par jab padosi desh me hoga to aansu ""bahaenge no problem with that par apne ghar me to dekho.","Everybody ignores such brutal rape cases. But when it will happen in neighbouring country, tears will drop, no problem with that but first look at your own home"
bkwas .  dhela ni jitna .,"rubbish, as much as new"
@Insane_chorri YEH HO CHUKA HAI,@Insane_chorri This has been done
"RT @itspakukhan : #SunoMyHeartSaysIshq Bacha haiBighra howa #BeOurTrendTeamPartner @TeamFaizaTrends Abhi to trailer release huva hai , asli picture abhi baaki hai :) https://t.co/A0GBD5j907","RT @itspakukhan: #SunoMyHeartSaysIshq there is a spoiled child #BeOurTrendTeamPartner @TeamFaizaTrends The trailer has been released yet, the original picture is yet to be released :) https://t.co/A0GBD5j907"
#proudtobemarathi #PeshwaBajirao Jo Hathi Nahi Wo Marathi Nahi #KedarJadhav #SachinTendulkar,"#proudtobemarathi #PeshwaBajirao If not an elephant, not a marathi #KedarJadhav #SachinTendulkar"
retire ho gaya kya?,have you retired?
bhai roti bhi to de..,brother give roti too
popat bnaa diyaa be saale ne .  .  .,that guy made me fool
roz rulane ki kasam khayi han is confession ne  .  .,This confession has vowed to make me cry daily. 
":-D Woh bhi ek mein 5, ek-ek driver ke left aur right mein",":-D That also five in one, one left to each driver and one to the right"
Ab #holi and #diwali me ghar jana hua aasan,"Now, it has become easy to go home on #holi and #diwali"
@Fabled_Me mene pahle badi wali likhi thi,@Fabled_Me I wrote a bigger one earlier
"tumse zyada nahi ho sakti yaar. Tum na bolo ye, not deserving hai.","bro, you can't do more. you don't speak this, you don't deserve it"
"Pyar Kiya to darna kya, Maine Pyar Kyu Kiya, Aitraaz",Why be afraid if I love. and why did I love? objected
plz bajrangi bhaijan ek reply plz     mai m.p. ke rewa saher ka rahne vala hu,"please bajrangi bhaijan one reply please, I am from rewa city in Madhya Pradesh"
ya mein janta hun .  .  . all r fabulous,I know this .all are fabulous
Net pack khatam ho gaya..paytm se recharge karo..,internet plan is over. recharge from paytm
ladki ki baat chood yaar aur ye bata yaar woh jo 3rd question tha  .  .  uska ans kya tha  .  .,"Leave it to the girl talk and tell me, bro, what was answer of that 3rd question."
RT @Anureet18 : @princenarula88 miss nahi karenge but aaj #PAKvsIND match bhi chal raha hai ....,RT @Anureet18 : @princenarula88 won't miss it but today #PAKvsIND match is also there
@heisenjit Tur gaya Punjab ya halley hai aithey,@heisenjit This is a Punjabi halley
@Ra_Bies ek saath do ke maze liye  @witchybitchygalpic.twitter.com/C1RL4rYcO3,@Ra_Bies had double fun @witchybitchygalpic.twitter.com/C1RL4rYcO3
@Atheist_Krishna chi chi chi ashleel launda,@Atheist_Krishna dirty guy
he is like chabad chabd all the time :d,he is like talking all the time :d
@Insane_chorri Mujhe twitter ki ladkiyo ke compliment se darr lagta hai  @Ravinaa_,@ Insane_Chory I am scared of Twitter girls' Complaint @ Raveena_
@UrbanZameendar haan mech lab me forging sikhayee thi  @Ravinaa_,@UrbanZameendar yeah they taught us forging in mechanical lab @Ravinaa_
Bihar(patna) kab aa rhe hai #Bajarangi_Bhaijaan ke promotion ke liye.,"when are you coming to Patna, Bihar for promotio of #Bajarangi_Bhaijaan?"
Ye rishta kya kehlata hai...https://twitter.com/calestous/status/628777606037553152 …,What is this relationship called? https://twitter.com/calestous/status/628777606037553152 …
"Kejri the one born from wrong hole after India won : Yeh to Modi ki chaal hai ji , bechhare bacchon per zulm dhaha diya https://t.co/4xKnn7nLif","Kejri the one born from wrong hole after India won: This is Modi's trick, the victim has been tortured on poor children. https://t.co/4xKnn7nLif"
Ab aur Saha nahi jaata. #KXIPvRR,Can't bear it anymore #KXIPvRR
How to use snapchat? Kuch nahi samajhta,How to use snapchat? Can't understang anything
@slimswamy Ya toh too smart joke maar dete ho ya too lame. Thoda salman khan jokes maar dete abhi festival aya tha 2 din ka.,"@slimswamy Either they say too smart joke or too lame joke. You sould have made some jokes on salman too, a two day festival just passed by"
@PriyancaBajaj ye Barkha Dutt ki chaal hai @Insane_chorri,@Priyansabajaj This is Barkha Dutt's trick @Insane_Chorri
@aanchalator aap desh ke rang main doobe hue ho,@Anchorlore you are immersed in the colors of the country
#whatsappdown kya american brand ke,is #whatsappdown  an american brand?
@Ra_Bies aap star ho,@Ra_Bies you are a star
hahaha  .  .  .  sambhal ke  .  .  .  rocket kahin andar na chala jaye amla ke  .  .  .  .  pant mein ,) :d
hahahaha umar ke sath dimag bhi bhudha ho gaya hai .  .  .  .  kaha sher aur kaha kutta .  .  .  .,"Hahahaha With age, the brain has also become old. where lion and where dog"
"Kya kar raha hai aajkal?

Regret bhai regret.","""What are you doing these days? Regret bhai regret."""
@Liaqat842 tum sahi keh rhy thy yeh zayda buri timings hain 3 wali match ki😳 subah purany office bhi jna hai kaam hai 😏,"@Liaqat842 you were right about match timing at 3, it is too bad, have to go to old office tommorow to do work"
sach to sach hai .,truth is truth
@tweeting_pal hayee itna pyaar,"@tweeting_pal oh my god, so much love"
"@India_Logitech Me Sneeeezes

Mom: Pata nahi kiski nazar lag gayee mere bachche ko

#MyMomsLogic","""@India_Logitech Me Sneezes, Mom: I do not know who has cursed my child #MyMomsLogic"""
Abbé @OfficeOfRG kuch bolega chintu? Aise zid nahi karte warna murga banakar bahar khade hona padega,hey @OfficeOfRG will you say something chintu? Do not insist like this or else have to stand outside by becoming cock
@abhishekmadan @slimswamy free trial class karke nikal liye the Aap? Hum toh phas gaye the. Samajh fir bhi na aya tha kuch.,@abhishekmadan @slimswamy you got passed by doing free classes? We got stuck. Still did not understand anything
@anubhashukla7 ekdum sahi samjha aapne ,-)
"RT @natashajain6 : #AAPkaCM @ArvindKejriwal @DrKumarVishwas Wo ( @AamAadmiParty ) kal bhi dil ke paas the , Wo aaj bhi kareb hai ... Bharat Mata","Rat @NatshaJayan6: #Apcam @ArvindKejriwal @Darkumarvasti He (@AmAadmiParty) was still near the heart yesterday, he is still close to. hail mother India"
jo bhi puche wo sab daalke register kar do .  .  :),whatever asks put it all and register it
@JoruKaGhulamm nahi ho sakta,@JoruKaGhulamm can not happen
"vote dene walon se yahi guzarish h  ,  imaandar ko vote de .  aap ko vote de","only request to those who will be voting, give vote to honest. give vote to aap"
@BEERCHICKN Aap apne daddy ka naam mujhe kyu bata rahe ho ?,@BEERCHICKN why are you telling me your father's name?
Rohit Sharma ne aaj full day off liya hai.,"Rohit sharma has taken a full day off today.
"
RT @RShivshankar : #AgustaCongLink2 Why the Rahul-Kanishka transaction is controversial https://t.co/sFgzLHrQ4l,retweet @RShivshankar : #AgustaCongLink2 Why the Rahul-Kanishka transaction is controversial https://t.co/sFgzLHrQ4l
kya jhoot hai Sonali?,What is the lie Sonali?
@clued_up_chic haan jaise tum to meri yaad me badi choodiyan tod rahi ho na,@clued_up_chic yes like you are freaking breaking bangles in my memories
@xtreamgrumpy hahaha abhi thoda samay ka abhav hai. kabhi zaroor banenge bhai :),@xtreamgrumpy hahaha now there is a lack of time. sometime I will really become bro
"apja ek vi film miss nehi karta, kisaka film k lia theatre jau ya na jau.. 2-3 Bar min. Apka film thetre mein dekhne zarur jataa hun dosto ko leke.","I don't miss any of your films, whether I go to someone's film or not.. but 2-3 times minimum I go to theater to watch your films with my friends."
woh kahan se aagayi?,where did she come from?
@premlata_rai tu theek se aankhein khol kar dekh,@premlata_rai you should properly open your eyes and see
"welcome nick j !  : "" )  "" @someUSER in manila !  so excited for the show on friday . ",welcome nick j! @someUSER in manila! so excited for the show on friday.
@Alllahdin phone kar ke bol 9 baje aajaye,@Alllahdin call and say arrive by 9'o clock.
meri ma ka bas chale toh bahar bhi blanket odha k bheje :') maa :*,"if my mom really wants, she can even send me out covered in blanket. mother"
@Singhlicious kaun sa color karta hai? @zzoker,@Singhlicious which color does? @zzoker
Keep calm and keep kaam se kaam !!! #office #tgif #nametag #buddha #SouvenirFromManali #keepcalm http://t.co/qg7KrE3RMN,Keep calm and keep work with work !!! #office #tgif #nametag #buddha #SouvenirFromManali #keepcalm http://t.co/qg7KrE3RMN
@iamGunjanGrunge Sachin sir ka naam kharaab  kar raha hai,@iamGunjanGrunge is defaming Sachin sir's name
"I do it man, yes. Bahot chhoti ego hai tumhari. Twitter hai, go easy.","I do it man, yes. your ego is so small. Twitter is there, go easy."
Lagta h inhone history tv ni dekha aaj#surgicalstrike,probably they have not watched history tv today #surgicalstrike
RT @PMOIndia : The work of the banking sector in Jan Dhan Yojana is immense : PM @narendramodi,retweet @PMOIndia : The work of the banking sector in Jan Dhan Yojana is immense : prime minister @narendramodi
@imRitikThakur bhai thoda khud bhi dimag lagao yaar,@imRitikThakur bro you should apply a bit of brain.
Aaj #Liberals ki haalat Vohi Hai jo 90 s mein #Sachin ke out hone pe #India ki hoti thi ...,Today #Liberals situation is like #India in 90 s when #Sachin would out ...
Lagta hai darr gaya#UTurn,seems like got scared#UTurn
"@TheTweetOfBaba Baba, kaash aisa ho jaaye :""( tere muh mein ghee shakkar","@TheTweetOfBaba Baba, hope that it happens ghee sugar in your mouth"
@CineMaakiKasam @Mean_Rashi udaar wali zindagi Jee raha tha tu,@CineMaakiKasam @Mean_Rashi you were living a life of borrowing
le jana chahte hai ye... #TripleTalaq,they want to take away... #TripleTalaq
@huh_watnow hehe.. ye lambi raate nahi katti ab,@huh_watnow hehe.. now these long nights do not get over
sir kaal #holi v hain nd meri Maa ki birthday v hain 0 Please aap 1 tweet k zariye ... unhe .. wish kr dijiye ...,sir tomorrow #holi is also there and my mother's birthday is also there Please wish her...through 1 tweet...
@MeetUunngLee bhai block kar do unko!,@MeetUunngLee bro block them!
Le bhai mein mootne gaya aur Virat out !! #SorryGuys,see bro I went to pee and Virat got out !! #SorryGuys
"RT @CricketNDTV : #IPL8 Rajasthan 189/2 vs Delhi . Rahane 91 * , Nair 61 http://t.co/Dk5TFlfK6W #RRvDD","retweet @CricketNDTV : #IPL8 Rajasthan 189/2 vs Delhi . Rahane 91 * , Nair 61 http://t.co/Dk5TFlfK6W #RRvDD"
ye to maine bhi bahut baar kiya .  monitor jo tha class ka .,I also did this many times.  was monitor of the class .
Tata Sky ne tere se shaadi ke liye haan bol diya kya ? https://twitter.com/TweetErrant/status/769484272944177152 …,did Tata Sky said yes to your marriage proposal? https://twitter.com/TweetErrant/status/769484272944177152 …
"Jo tumko ho pasand "" wohi baat karenge 0 Tum din ko agar raat kaho "" raat kahenge 0 #VoterFraud #Trump","what you like ""only that will be discussed If you say night to a day"" will say night #VoterFraud #Trump"
Pant samajh nahi raha hai. Mishra ji 2-3 chhakke laga kar game khatam karna chahte hain isi over me.,Pant is not understanding. Mishra wants to finish this game by hitting 2-3 sixes in this over itself.
"sunday get on the ropes with james murphy . yogacity nyc | yoga ,  meditation ,  pranayama &amp; kirtan events in new york city http/URL","on sunday get on the ropes with james murphy. yogacity new york city yoga, meditation,  pranayama &amp; kirtan events in new york city http/URL"
@TweetErrant #MenKiBaat bhai,@TweetErrant #MenKiBaat bro
"@gvvaidya impact to achha nahi aaya waise ,,",@gvvaidya impact was not good though
@DiwakarKothari_ kaat ke kha gaya iska,@DiwakarKothari_ cutted his and ate 
"Sapne suhaane tharakpan ke.
#TwitterPoets","perverted glamourous dreams. 
#TwitterPoets "
Sahi cheej par debate ki jaroorat hai #tripletalaq koi NHI karega na Karne Dega but desh k tukde k bare me savko #FreedomOfSpeech chahiye ..,debate is necessary on the right thing #tripletalaq no one will do nor will let do but for country's piece everyone want #FreedomOfSpeech ..
#GST se unn logo ko jyada loss hoga jinko 4 shop me Jake ek hi chiz ki price check karni hoti thi ,)
daily zap: april 3rd: daily zap: april 3rd check out a whip around the league for all the highlights from ton .  .  .  http/URL,"&
"
"see you on march 24th .  from argentina to miami ,  no limits for #asot and @someUSER","&
"
"@KaminiBae @PAYBACKIndia red signal pe horn maarna #PointKyaHai Point Kya Hai
 @PAYBACKIndia","@KaminiBae @PAYBACKIndia blow horn at red signal #PointKyaHai what is the point 
@PAYBACKIndia"
"Wife: Suno pocha laga lo
Suno bartan maanj do
Suno sandaas dho lo
AK: Woh pareshan karte rahe, hum kaam karte rahe
#KejriwalExcuses","Wife: listen mop the floor
listen clean the utensils
listen clean the toilets
AK: they keep troubling us,we keep working
#KejriwalExcuses
"
": LAST NIGHT MAHASHIVRATRI RUDRABHISHEK ..... Nau grah , Gauri Ganesh and anya devi devta http://t.co/xBcBWCz8aY",": LAST NIGHT MAHASHIVRATRI RUDRABHISHEK ..... nine planets , Gauri Ganesh and anya godess god http://t.co/xBcBWCz8aY"
" "" did you see that andy carroll header ?  what technique !  ""   "" c'mon !  that's not technique .  technique is passing the ball 5 yards 50 times .  "" "," "" did you see that andy carroll header ?  what was that technique! come on!  that's not a technique. technique is passing the ball 5 yards 50 times."" "
RT @EconomicTimes : . @ArvindKejriwal should make public apology for remarks on PM @narendramodi's degrees : BJP https://t.co/8Nkm6lTV2M https,retweet @EconomicTimes : . @ArvindKejriwal should make public apology for remarks on PM @narendramodi's degrees : BJP https://t.co/8Nkm6lTV2M https
RT @RealHistoryPic : Priyanka Gandhi displaying tricks of martial arts in order to counter the Eve teasers of Gujarat . ( 2014 ) https://t.co/b,retweet @RealHistoryPic : Priyanka Gandhi displaying tricks of martial arts in order to counter the Eve teasers of Gujarat . ( 2014 ) https://t.co/b
inshallha . allha aap ko kamyaab kara gaya .,inshallha. allha made you successful.
"thand kitni bhi ho ,  cycle race jarur hoti thi :-p","however cold it might be, cycle race indeed used to happen"
mehul shukla your dream school :),mehul shukla your dream school
kyu bhai maine kya kia?,why bro what did i do?
@MohMaaya 3 mahine se stalk kar raha hu.. Apna naam to bata do,@MohMaaya i am stalking you from three months.. let me know your name
@i_KiranBukhari Krishna ( Future ) ki Dua di he Bacha&Today is #MahaShivratri and krishna g kehte hn Is din Varat krne se Acha Pati mlta he,@i_KiranBukhari Krishna's ( Future ) blessings are bacha and today is #MahaShivratri and krishna say if you fast on theis day then you will get a good husband.
"hamari bus main bhi ek dengu aata tha , ","in our bus also one dengu used to come ,"
Bapu sehat ke liye tu to hanikarak haihttps://twitter.com/waglenikhil/status/293242768053121024 …,Bapu you are harmful for health https://twitter.com/waglenikhil/status/293242768053121024 …
"RT @vijai63 : When @ArvindKejriwal is brand ambassador of Airtel , luxury Seiko Watches , Max Healthcare , Jabong . @TajinderBagga https://t.co/","retweet @vijai63 : When @ArvindKejriwal is brand ambassador of Airtel , luxury Seiko Watches , Max Healthcare , Jabong . @TajinderBagga https://t.co/"
"seriously maza boht ata tha ,  ,  , mere pass mast collection hota tha","seriously used to have a lot of fun ,  ,  , i used to have a nice collection"
kaash mujhe aise padhai ke definitions yaad aate .,i wish i could remember such definitions of study .
"Chat ladkiyon ko hi zyada pasand hote hai, jo paani puri wale bhaiyya ke paas milti hai.  https://twitter.com/Fernandes_Savvy/status/871804544455368705 …","fast food is liked by girls more, those who are seen near paani puri selling brother.  https://twitter.com/Fernandes_Savvy/status/871804544455368705 …"
@The_Sleigher Bhai kaun si team ka saath dena hai ??,@The_Sleigher bro which team should we take our side ??
@oxymoronic_me are kuchh nahi hota :),@oxymoronic_me hey nothing will happen
woowww! bajrangi bhaijaan superhit hogi... meri bhagwan se prarthna he ki yah film super-duperhit hogi...,woowww! bajrangi bhaijaan will be a superhit... i whish to god that this film would become a super-duperhit...
"@HaramiParindey Happy Diwali raajey, pataakhe naa bajaain ais vaari","@HaramiParindey happy diwali majesty, aren't you bursting crackers this time"
Kya ho raha hai iss desh mein?,what is happening in this country?
bhai scene bante nhi banand padte hai..,bro scene doesn't get created it needs to be created..
@Kaminapun dekha hi nahi,@Kaminapun haven't seen
@yashika86gupta Yashika Ji kya haal hai good morning,@yashika86gupta Yashika mam how is it going good morning
"@rohitify Zamana kharaab hai.. Shine lajawaab hai: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI … #LagGayiVaat 
Shine","@rohitify this generation is bad .. Shine is superb: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI … #LagGayiVaat 
Shine"
ghuma ke maaro ek :D,rotate and beat one
"""Koi nahi hai.. Pls karne do""  #MyLifeInSixWords",no one is there around.. please let me do  #MyLifeInSixWords
Kisi ko cigarette chahiye kya?? Dukaan badane ke time ho haga haipic.twitter.com/iwADzZInV1,does anyone want a cigarette?? its time to close the shop pic.twitter.com/iwADzZInV1
"@trueRKerian nahi bhai, theatre","@trueRKerian no bro, theatre"
"King Abdullah had 30 wives, it's like 'Khud ki shaadi mein Abdullah deewana'.","King Abdullah had 30 wives, it's like 'its like in own's marriage abdullah mad'"
buzzer beater jump shot by parker .  on a primetime thursday game .  .  . no way that can happen !  how great is the nba ?  !  ?  !,buzzer beater jump shot by parker on a primetime thursday game. no way that can happen! how great is the nba?!
Sir naya loan mat lo abhi purana hi bakaya haihttps://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/713955770040070144 …,Sir don't take new loan now still the old one is not cleared yet https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/713955770040070144 …
"Oye Hoye Balle Balle , you rock @msdhoni and the boys","Oye Ho hurray hurray , you rock @msdhoni and the boys"
Logo Uallu bna Aata hai bus 4 se 6 bje gye hai kha ho Tum....,Logo Uallu bna is possible just 4 to 6 o clock went out where are you....
"@SahilRiz ""usko looks ki wajah se liya rahega. Woh painter sahi hai yaar kya life ban gaya uska"" ","@SahilRiz ""he must have been taken for looks. He is a good painter bro what his life has become"" "
RT @BDUTT : Delhi Police bringing in Journalist Sadiq Naqvi from Bijnore to question for being friend of Umar Khalid , GOONS FREE & LEAD MARCH
".@JhaSanjay Kanhaiya se zyada footage milega sir, RT kar do nationalist ke naam par.",".@JhaSanjay sir, we would get more footage from kanhaiya, retweet in the name of nationalist."
Bhai rahane ko kyu lete hu T20 mai .. #INDvsSL,bro why do you take rahane in T20 .. #INDvsSL
@Parsahiya wo to bhai banana hoga :D,@Parsahiya it would have to be made
@iamGunjanGrunge ladko se kabhi kabhi galti ho jaati hai,@iamGunjanGrunge sometime boys also make mistakes
"Maulana: Taqla Taqla Taqla?
Sonu Nigam: Qubool Hai, Qubool Hai, Qubool Hai!","Maulana:divorce, divorce, divorce?
Sonu Nigam: accepted, accepted,  accepted!"
@iamGunjanGrunge Bhai tu kaha hai bata.. Mein aa jata hu,@iamGunjanGrunge bro tell me where are you.. i will come
Kaam bolta hai itni si baat hai OFFICE mein jaati har meri raat hai Hardwork ka example is'se bada kya ho sakta ... http://t.co/delkx3Dt5S,say work just a small thing every night of mine in spent in office what would be a bigger example of hardwork than this... http://t.co/delkx3Dt5S
hahaha  .  .  . o god  .  .  . its totally true :d,hahaha  .  .  . o god  .  .  . its totally true
chadar odh ke chupchaap so jao neend achi aayegi  .,wrap a blanket and sleep quietly you would get a nice sleep.
Bhai DM kar diya kar aise detail warna #RightToPrivacy kya khaak celebrate karega :P,bro dierct message me details like this otherwize how the heck would you celebrate #RightToPrivacy.
"Parivartan layenge kamal khilayenge - BJP
Nautanki layenge, joote khayenge - AAP","would bring change would blossom lotus - BJP
would bring drama, would eat shoes - AAP"
"Koi shaving kare na kare, tum logo ko kya fark padta hai?","someone shaves or not, what effect it has on you?"
@EngineeRoholic tujhe dikh raha hai?,@EngineeRoholic is it visible to you?
@MildlyClassic Hapi birthday GrV .! aaj kuch gaaye k saara stadium jhoom uthee 🎤,@MildlyClassic Hapi birthday GrV .! sing something today such that the whole stadium gets excited.
Chor ko bachane media aa hi jati hai #PNBFraud,media comes in to protect to the theif #PNBFraud
Jai ho jai ho jai ho. Bhajrangi bhaijaan,salute salute salute. bajrangi bhaijan
"@LoKarDi_RT Arre Mohan, kya hua tujhe?","@LoKarDi_RT Arre Mohan, what happend to you?"
"Mom to feminist daughter: Beta muh par chandan laga lo, achha hota hai.

Chandan: Main aise auraton ke muh nahi lagta.","Mom to feminist daughter: child apply some chandan on your face, it is good.

Chandan: i do not come in contact with such women."
"Kela khaane ke baad paani mat peeyo.
Doodh ke baad machhi naa khao.
Dil tutne ke baad daaru mat piyo.
#YeBhiKoiJeenaHai brb suicide.","do not drink water after eating banana.
don't eat fish after drinking milk.
don't drink alcohol after a heart break.
#YeBhiKoiJeenaHai brb suicide."
"#GuessTheSong
Hamne toh pyar mein aisa kaam kar diya","#GuessTheSong
In love i have done such a thing"
"Shoaib Malik: ""Misbah ne chauka maara hai toh aap soch sakte hain kitni buri gend hogi"" ","Shoaib Malik: ""if Misbah has hit a four then you can imagine how bad the ball delivery would have been"""
"@ek_samosa_dena there bhi din aayenge chhote, achha khaasa hil jayega :-D","@ek_samosa_dena your days would also come chhote,would be moved considerably "
"Upar Upar Upar Upar Upar Upar.. In the air..

RT @FirstpostSports: CAPTIONS please...... #Taylor #Russell #IndVsWIpic.twitter.com/P9JDHW0JRs","up up up up up .. In the air..

retweet @FirstpostSports: CAPTIONS please...... #Taylor #Russell #IndVsWIpic.twitter.com/P9JDHW0JRs"
Balki thoda late ho Gaya...Aaj hi nazar padi thi...aap kamal hainA,but got a bit late...just today got into my sight...you are amazing
"NDTV office right now: Jitne bhi bihar ke puraane crimes ki reports hai, leke aao, kal se ek ek karke wohi dikhani hai #Nitishkumar","NDTV office right now: all those old crime reports of bihar, bring them, from tomorrow we would show them one by one #Nitishkumar"
Abi tak jag rhe ho sab log?,still you all are awake?
@Marwaari @hinnaz @ROFLaaLa @PehleTum kahan hai?,@Marwaari @hinnaz @ROFLaaLa @PehleTum where?
27 elections Me Haar ke Baad bhi #RahulGandhi se #Rajbabbar ji ko badee ummeden hain .... yeh to wahi hua ... Murga anda dega to kahan girega 0,even after loss in 27 elections #Rajbabbar has huge hopes for #RahulGandhi ....it is like ... if cock gives an egg then where would it fall
@Imshonaaa abi kya plan hai next ? sona ya twitter pe funny tweets krna :P,@Imshonaaa now what is the next plan? sleep or write some funny jokes on twitter
"*Salman Khan walks into a bar*

EVERYONE: BHAI AA GAYE, BHAI AA GAYE

[That's why Salman Khan is single]","*Salman Khan walks into a bar* 

EVERYONE: bro has came, bro has came 

[That's why Salman Khan is single]"
"Hota hai, achhi baat hai.","it happens, it's a good thing."
Gujarat Lions ko agle round me aana chahiye yar.,Gujarat Lions should come in next round bro.
"pakistan approves liberalised visa accord with india - islamabad ,  nov 1 (ians) pakistan has approved a liberalised v .  .  .  http/URL","pakistan approves liberalised visa accord with india - islamabad ,  nov 1  pakistan has approved a liberalised visa  http/URL"
Bhai yeh batao saare ukhade hue stumps ka kya kiya? #AskDhoni @StarSportsIndia @msdhoni,bro say me what did you do with all the unrooted stumps? #AskDhoni @StarSportsIndia @msdhoni
@Dishasatra aaj shaam pakka,@Dishasatra today evening definitely
"Ganda transfer window hai, United jeetne ki baat bhi nahi kar sakta.","it is a dirty transfer window, can't even talk of United winning."
"mange dilli dil se ,  kejriwal fir se","dilli demands from heart,  kejriwal once again"
aap ko vote  ?  delhi ka satyanaash .,vote to you?  delhi's downfall .
@The3rd_Reich apni to jaise taise.. Thodi aise ya waise.. @narendramodi,@The3rd_Reich our by this or that.. little like this or that @narendramodi
@JhaSanjeev dusre side ka koi jhoot likhat naahi. AAP ka ek mila,@JhaSanjeev don't write lie of other side. found one of yours
"Namaz bhi padh lete, wahin par kirpa atki hui haihttps://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/407873664903028736 …","even have read namaz, there kirpa has been stuck https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/407873664903028736 …"
Tuchche #Pakistani apni aukaat dikhaate huye mere against #YouTube video bana mujhe dhamki - gaali de rahe hain 0 Need more #surgicalstrike,you #Pakistani showing their status against me by making a #YouTube giving me a threat - abusing me Need more #surgicalstrike
@mr_khiladi24 accha thik h all the best bhai Fad k aao 😂,@mr_khiladi24 okay all the best brother tear and come
Pandya ! Saare paap dho de ! Hero ban ja agle world cup tak ke liye !,Pandya ! clean all your sins ! become a hero till the next world cup !
@sanket_bafna accha hai .. Bable wale pics bhej 😍😍😍,@sanket_bafna its nice .. send me pics of bable
@Alllahdin Punjabi gaane sunne hai,@Alllahdin have you heard punjabi songs..
ab aaya ut pahad k niche .  .  .  .  kejriwal is best . samze annaji .,now the camel has come under the mountain .  .  .  .  kejriwal is best . samze annaji .
@samar02 @Dishasatra baat toh sahi hai,@samar02 @Dishasatra the thing is right
"#80 : i was too lazy to walk to the toilet at the other end of the wing  ,  that i used to just pee out of the verandah onto the volley lawns below :)","#80 : i was too lazy to walk to the toilet at the other end of the wing  ,  that i used to just pee out of the verandah onto the volley lawns below"
@enlightenedme_ bas ek hi?,@enlightenedme_ just a single one?
@Choti_Daku chalo abhi jaao kaam karne do,@Choti_Daku go for now let me work
@_SandSurfer lol hamesha karta hu be. koi dekhta nahi :(,@_SandSurfer laugh out louderi i do it every time. didn't anyone see
@Miss_Ankiita tu haan hi nahi bol rahi,@Miss_Ankiita you haven't yet said yes
"t mind Kisaan mare ya Jawaan "" #MannKiBaat sun ne ke liye sunday ka intezaar zaroor karein 0",wheather farmer dies or soldier always wait for sunday to listen #MannKiBaat
@byomkesbakshi thank you hume bolo.. Humne achche tweet karne chhod diye..taki tum log ko mauka mile ,) #MaukaMauka @iamkits
sir meri tbiyt kharab thi .  .  cough thi khu khu khu khu khuuuuuuu khuuuuuuu .  .  .,sit health was not good .  .  i had cough khu khu khu khu khuuuuuuu khuuuuuuu .  .  .
Hum #QuarterFinal toh Haar Hi Nahin Sakte Kyonki Jahan #Quarter Mil Jaye toh Hum Usko Final Karke Hi Uthte Hain ! #INDvBAN,we can not lose #QuarterFinal because where we get #Quarter then we make it final and then only we get up! #INDvBAN
"ab tu hero banega. Koi na. Theek hai. Aap Seth, hum gareeb.","now you will become a hero. no problem. it's fime. you are lord, we are servant."
"man ,  i am going to change my vote based on axl rose's opinion said no one ever .  politico: c'mon man http/URL","man ,  i am going to change my vote based on axl rose's opinion said no one ever .  politico: come on man http/URL"
@HathwalaThakur Nahi bhai.. Phir to @SunnyLeone meri bhabhi huee ,)
teri bhi koi makkarroma hai ?,do you have a girlfriend?
Sab record peche bajarangi bhai jan agee....,all records behind bajarangi bhai jan on top....
"Rahul Gandhi in Uttarkhand for "" Camping Chintan "" .. :P #WhereIsRahul","Rahul Gandhi in Uttarkhand for "" Camping Chintan ""  #WhereIsRahul"
vry vry beautiful song. ..,very very beautiful song.
mai to family k sath tv hi dekh rhi hu new year eve me .  .  sbse mast new year celebration  .  .  .  .  .  :-d,i am watching tv with my family on the new year eve. it's the best of all new year celebration.
@someUSER dm me your number and i'll send you a pic of the dress i'm wearing wednesday .  it's perfect for being the black dahlia . &lt,3
Apni maa ko bol wo dikhaegi degree #TweetDMlikeAseniorJournalist  https://twitter.com/murarikundan/status/726660270853120000 …,tell you mother she will show degree #TweetDMlikeAseniorJournalist  https://twitter.com/murarikundan/status/726660270853120000 …
Ye dekho @MeetUunngLee ko pappiyan milti hai online.https://twitter.com/imcomplicated__/status/715054698265452546 …,see this @MeetUunngLee gets kises online. https://twitter.com/imcomplicated__/status/715054698265452546 …
@someUSER elimination diet starts tomorrow don't you mean ,) #lean #vegvegveg !
Sab ladkiyo se flirt karegi to aisa hi hoga bhaihttps://twitter.com/Miss_Ankiita/status/659984691898875906 …,if you flirt with all girls then this will always happen bro https://twitter.com/Miss_Ankiita/status/659984691898875906 …
Iss aurat ne #JatAgitation mujhse jod liya. LOL.https://twitter.com/autumnrainwish/status/722874344813105152 …,this women has attached #JatAgitation with me. laugh out louder. https://twitter.com/autumnrainwish/status/722874344813105152 …
"aana main chahu, dil beimaan hai","i wish to come, heart is dishonest"
Kejriwal ka solar putr hai .. like Karn,Kejriwal's solar son .. like Karn
@kitAnurag celebs ko mention karoge toh yahi hoga,@kitAnurag if you mention celebrities then this will always happen
"arre nasamajh, na samajh nasamajh mujhe","hey unthoughtful, don't consider me unthoughtful"
"@Ra_Bies ye sirf tumhare liye likha gaya hai, mere khoon ki syaahi se.","@Ra_Bies this is written just for you, with my blood's ink."
#Dhoni Mahi to sachme maar rhaa hai ....,#Dhoni Mahi is really hitting.
Aaj Cato ne kitne kaate ??,how many did cato cut today ??
RT @Ekta555 : @insan_honey #MSGmissionHumanity Good Night Dii ji https://t.co/t2B1es8Q78 lead to the Lonely Pl ... https://t.co/RK3yFhYSg4,retweet @Ekta555 : @insan_honey #MSGmissionHumanity good night sister https://t.co/t2B1es8Q78 lead to the Lonely ... https://t.co/RK3yFhYSg4
pitutary aur pineal glands ka kya nishkarsh hai ?,what is the significance of pitutary and pineal glands?
FTII ka ek bhi buddha aaya #MarchForIndia me ya sab phoonk ke so rahe hai ?,did any old man came form FTII in #MarchForIndia or all are sleeping after blowing/
Mukesh agar aaj zinda hota toh woh cancer se nahi marta. #UnionBudget2016,if mukesh was alive now then he would not have died due to cancer. #UnionBudget2016
Paap bad gaya hai.,sins have increased.
Family kaha hai Umar Kam-akal bhai https://twitter.com/Umar96Akmal/status/731821922917462017 …,where is family less intelligent bro https://twitter.com/Umar96Akmal/status/731821922917462017 …
"are nahi sir ji, kuchh drishy aap ka indriyon se vash haran kar lete hain @twinitisha","are no sir, some scenes overtake your conscience form your nerves @twinitisha"
angrezi mai nahi asli maza to hindi mai ata hai .  .  .  .  :-d,the real fun comes in hindi not in english.
"Aaah :(
Saturday hai ghar pahoncho jaldi","Aaah :
its saturday go home quickly"
@RANBIRKA6000R dekh @desikermit ne tujhe fake bola. haww.,@RANBIRKA6000R see @desikermit has said you fake.
"Hmm .. Whi to bhai , yhaa thoda jada hi h tnsn😁 clg placement k naam pe 0 h yha bs😁","Hmm .. that is right bro, here it is a bit more in the name of college placement"
or phr match ki aisi ki tesi ho jati h  .  .  :p :p lekin mai to phr b match hi dekhta tha  .  .  exam ka kya h aate jate rahte h  .  .,then match becomes worse . but is still used to watch match. exams are like comes and goes.
@sayshardik woh isiliye kyunki tu unko bola ke tu Chelsea ka fan hai...,@sayshardik that was because you said you were fan of chelsea.
@lady_gabbar hey @soorajpancholi9 bhai madam ka time table dekh ke bata.. When can I meet her,@lady_gabbar hey @soorajpancholi9 bro see madam's time table and tell me when can I meet her
"Modi: ""Ye GST se dhyaan hatane ke liye match kisne harwaya..""
Shah:pic.twitter.com/iLL3e4Dia6","Modi: ""to distract form GST who made it lose the match.""
Shah:picture.twitter.com/iLL3e4Dia6"
@drajoykumar congress hindu virodhi hai . Ye labels tumpe lag gaya,@drajoykumar congress is anti-hindu. these labels are now on you
feeling sooo excited fr tommorow .. :) #Bhaijaan <3,feeling so excited for tomorrow. #Bhaijaan 
BARDAASHT NAHI KAR SAKTA AB DURR NAHI REH SAKTA EK DIN... TERE BIN. AYEE AA OOO  #HIMESHISGOD,i can not withstand now i can't stay far even a day without you. #HIMESHISGOD
"parsons also confirmed w/ tw reporter abt jlin's popularity ,  also 'promised' he'll visit taiwan next yr http/URL","parsons also confirmed reporter abt jlin's popularity, also 'promised' he will visit taiwan next year http/URL"
@prek_rk @sankalparkapoor ok but famous toh main aur katrina hi zyada honge,@prek_rk @sankalparkapoor ok but only i and katrina will become more famous
@dhaval241086 aur paas me Shobha Day night khadi hai,@dhaval241086 more near pride day night is standing
"#RailBudget2015 CM Rawat Ji , Uttarakhand ko bhi fully connect karo Railway se ...!! #Uttarakhand @PahariTweets","#RailBudget2015 CM Rawat sir, fully connect uttarakhand also with railway!! #Uttarakhand @PahariTweets"
Gurmehar behen apni pushtaini zameen ke kaagaz chupa lo. Aa gaya bhediyahttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/836415643809296384 …,sister hide the documents of our paternal land. the wolf has come https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/836415643809296384 …
"unhi ki baat kar raha tha. 13k ki jeans, 150 ki t-shirt. Hmm, Brahmin - Dalit bhaichara ","i was talking about them. jeans of 13 thousand and t-shirt of 150. Hmm, Brahmin - Dalit brotherhood"
"MUMBAI KA DON KAUN? ROHIT SHARMA
#IndvsAus","who is don of mumbai? rohit sharma
#IndvsAus"
" Haan 48 cans laaya hai. 3 log hai. Ye aaj ka laqshya hai, laqshya ko har haal mein paana hai","yes has brought 48 cans. 3 people are there. this is today's target, at any cost meet the target"
@SRKsDrishh ha ha .... theater mein hin dekhna chahiye tha na ...,@SRKsDrishh ha ha. you shoud have watched it in theater.
ye lo naya drama chalu.. #gst me #petrol #diesel lane ke lie kisi ne drama nahi kiya varna aaj 40₹ around hota rate,take this now new drama started. no one did drama for binging #petrol #diesel in #gst otherwise today the rate would have been near 40₹
free dinner for everyone in highschool in edmonton at rahma mosque saturday night @ 7 its going to be fun :),free dinner for everyone in highschool in edmonton at rahma mosque saturday night at 7 its going to be fun
"RT @VishalDadlani : Truly tragic . India getting battered diplomatically by China , Pak , Nepal ! Modi's chest-size vibe seems ineffective . http","retweet @VishalDadlani : Truly tragic . India getting battered diplomatically by China , Pak , Nepal ! Modi's chest-size vibe seems ineffective."
koi #JNU mai admission kara do bhai pura mature ho jayenge 0 #upelections2017 #Congress #BJP @RajatSharmaLive @TajinderBagga,someone admit me in #JNU i would become completely mature #upelections2017 #Congress #BJP @RajatSharmaLive @TajinderBagga
"Ek wife ki kha raha hai, ek Photoshop ki aur ek dalali kipic.twitter.com/oxknbCb0YX",one is eating from wife. one from photoshop and one from commission pic.twitter.com/oxknbCb0YX
are yar office ka tym ho gya .  .  going office .,are bro it's time for office. i am going office .
guddu da plan successfull ho gya !  !  wadhiya ji  .  .,guddu's plan was successfull!  ! nice.
miss this would cup .   ?,miss this would cup?
or papa ko nai cassette kharidne ko bolo to ye wali lake dikhate the or bolte the pehle iske to sare games khelo .  .  .,and when asked to papa to buy new cassette he would show me this cassett and ask to first play all games from this cassett.
"Main uske bachhe ki maa banne wali hu, tumhare nahi. #TwistedBollywoodDialogues","i will become mother of his child, not yours #TwistedBollywoodDialogues"
how do u know ??? :P,how do u know ?
Haan bhai.. Isiliye tumne pichle 60 saalo me koi vikas kiya hi nahihttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/610747822569197568 …,yes bro. it is due to this reason that you have done no progress in the last 60 years https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/610747822569197568 …
my teachers call themselves givng us candy .  .  .  . wasn't even the good stuff .  i might go to walmart or cvs tomorrow/,my teachers call themselves givng us candy. wasn't even the good stuff. i might go to walmart or cvs tomorrow
"@Singhlicious nahi be, mere naam pe hai. :(","@Singhlicious no, it's on my name."
"Kutta agar maidaan mein aaya toh ball se hi marega - Abhijeet
#DDvsKKR","if a dog comes in the ground then he would most probably die due to the ball - Abhijeet
#DDvsKKR"
Farhan Akhtar divorced. Wazir ghode ki chaal chal gaya.,Farhan Akhtar divorced. queen has played a move like horse.
@DefucktiveHumor Daare hue sarkar ki dari hui harkat #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra,@DefucktiveHumor scared government's scared action #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra
woow  aap 1988 se fb per ho me to 2011 me fb per aai :),woow you are on fb from 1988 i just joined fb in 2011
"Kuch kasoor to #Ambani ka bhi hai "" na wo free ka #jio deta "" na sab pure din twtr p lage rehte !","some contributioon from #Ambani is there "" neither he had given free #jio"" nor people would have used twitter whole day!"
"@GabbbarSingh Inke lokpriye geeto main shaamil hai Sun raha hai na tu, Teri galiyan aur Tu hai ki nahi.","@GabbbarSingh in his popular songs included are 'Sun raha hai na tu', 'Teri galiyan' and 'Tu hai ki nahi'."
"@narendramodi ""jii kal maine noida sec 18 ke ek restaurant me 170 rs ka khana ""khaya jisme maine 30 rs ka #GST ""diya Acha Laga #ISupportGST",@narendramodi yesterday i ate food of 170 rupees in noida sector 18 in which i paied 30 rs as #GST felt good #ISupportGST
@ModiBihar darr k marey halat kharab hai Nitish ka  #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra,@ModiBihar due to being scared nitish's health has deteriorated #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra
@HiighBeta bandi weirdo hai,@HiighBeta the girl is weirdo
bhai tera bhi game baj chuka hai kya?,bro is your also game banged?
@EngineeRoholic mujhe to kabhi nahi aaya,@EngineeRoholic i was never able to do
Tel lagaane jaa... holi khelne se pehle.,first go to apply oil... before playing holi.
"RT @mustikhan : Wished there's Ghar Wapsi in Lahore , Islamabad . The whole world will be a better place","retweet @mustikhan : Wished there should be homecoming in Lahore , Islamabad. The whole world will be a better place"
Jab jashn manega to poore mohalle to ko pata chalega hi  https://twitter.com/LEDtvn/status/630964128568381441 …,when celebration starts then the whole colony would obviously come know https://twitter.com/LEDtvn/status/630964128568381441 …
kash ye bheed vote me badal jaye .,hopefully this crowd converts into vote.
Hindustan ki Kasam .. pataake toh hum he phodenge #PakvsInd #BleedBlue #IndvsPak #76 runs,Hindustan's promise. we would only burst crackers #PakvsInd #BleedBlue #IndvsPak #76 runs
"Chammach se chawal khaane mein jo maza hai, woh haath se khaane mein kahanhttps://twitter.com/BuzzFeedIndia/status/896432406395310080 …","the joy in eating rice with a spoon, how would you get the joy in eating rice with hand https://twitter.com/BuzzFeedIndia/status/896432406395310080 …"
"Dad: There are no shortcuts to success. 
Son: Par red light ke pass waali gali se ghar jaldi aata hai.
D: Isiliye Sharma ji ka beta pass hua","Dad: There are no shortcuts to success. 
Son: but dad we reach home quickly from the path near red light.
Dad: this is the reason why sharma's son passed."
Uber - Ise apni hi gaadi samjhohttps://twitter.com/meamabhishek/status/903870622102470656 …,Uber - consider this your own car https://twitter.com/meamabhishek/status/903870622102470656 …
Badhai ho! BAda aadmi ban kar bhool na jaana,congratulations! after becoming a big man don't forget me
@ImAkanksha26 @ImVKohlisAngel @Drama_queenRJ @Rahat_Raina meh mst aap boliye,@ImAkanksha26 @ImVKohlisAngel @Drama_queenRJ @Rahat_Raina nicely say you
@kavitabika dont hahaha.. Pehle ye bata mere liye Australia se kya layee ??,@kavitabika don't ha ha ha. first tell me what did you bring me from australia?
"batao ji sentence bhi theek phir bhi teacher ka ye bartav , very 2 bad hai ji . ","tell me the sentence is also proper still the teacher is behaving in such a way, it's very bad."
"@Javedakhtarjadu #Bharat Mata ki Jay @Aap mahan hae Kaveevar you r d son of 3 grt mom ApakiJaneta , Maa Sarasvati aur Bharat Maata How grt UR","@Javedakhtarjadu salute to mother #Bharat @Aap are great Kaveevar you are the son of 3 great mom your public, mother sarasvati and mother bharat how great you are"
"""Dil cheese kya hai aap meri insecurities le li jiye ""","""what thing heart is you just see my insecurities """
@_swapneal office ko kaam ... too much work load 😰,@_swapneal work at office. too much work load
@GabbbarSingh @c_aashish @varungrover yeh twitter ka filmfare hai. Apko pasand nahi toh aap zee cine awards ka intezar kar sakte hain,@GabbbarSingh @c_aashish @varungrover it is filmfare of twitter. if you do not like then you can wait for zee cine awards.
Aise 10-15 aur chhakke laga de to thik hai,if hits 10-15 such sixes then it is okay
@HudDangee bhai teri life to set hai,@HudDangee bro now your life is set
"if you want to learn batting ,  bat with ms dhoni . ","if you want to learn batting, bat with ms dhoni . "
background music was gud  .  .  forgot its name  .  .  .  wat was it  ?  ?,background music was good. i forgot it's name. what was it's name?
Shoaib Malik pehle aise damaad hain jo sasural me itna kaam kar rahe hain. #IndvsPak,Shoaib Malik is first son-in-law who is working this much in in-laws. #IndvsPak
my photos up at photoplus and the olympus booth .  come out and say hello !  ill be here till saturday .  http/URL,my photos are up at photoplus and the olympus booth. come out and say hello!  i will be here till saturday .  http/URL
i love u salman vai.i like i so much.khuda hamesha apki saath rahegi vai..,i love you salman bro .i like you so much. god will always be with you brother.
"ab tak kuch huwa nahi baby, hum baad mein kuch kar lenge. Ok? ","nothing is done yet baby, we will do something afterwards. ok?"
"""Ye mujhe bhi 'Ji Madam Ji' kyu bol raha hai"" ??pic.twitter.com/0rV8cuJu7g","""this for me also 'yes madam yes'why are you saying"" ?pic.twitter.com/0rV8cuJu7g"
my father used to do this ^_^ #memories,my father used to do this #memories
Arae sur jee pahelae hamare bharat ke bachho ka parao.... Firr vedesh may jao yaar,Arae sir first teach our indian children. then go to foreign
@SahiDisha bahot hi sahi disha pakdi hai,@SahiDisha absolutely correct direction is chosen
only avathar purush can solve 700 problems in 49 days:-) and only he can get awards in basement from unregistered group of followers:-),only avathar purush can solve 700 problems in 49 days and only he can get awards in basement from unregistered group of followers
@bhaktisharma4 Beti itni thand me hum to nahaye na.. aur tum tairaaki kar rahi ho.. Waah bitwa waah,@bhaktisharma4 we deed bath in this much cold. and you are progressing. good girl good
RT @kchowdhury9 : #boycottraees boycott badly #raees,retweet @kchowdhury9 : #boycottraees boycott badly #raees
Match Bhi Aur Kashmir Bhi https://t.co/kpsa9oldX1,Match also and kashmir also https://t.co/kpsa9oldX1
Aap ko koi izzat nahi deta? Ye lo.pic.twitter.com/1GiXaxq9pO,doesn't anyone give you respect? see this pic.twitter.com/1GiXaxq9pO
ye kya baat kar rahe ho? hum aayenge tuitions lene.  @Alllahdin,what are you saying? we will come to take tutions. @Alllahdin
@7UPIndia Door se lag rahi thi bekaar.. Paas jaakar dekha nikli car #ChatpatakaTwist,@7UPIndia from far looked ugly. went close to see to know that it was a car #ChatpatakaTwist
You'll be in trouble someday !,You will be in trouble someday !
14th April shaam theek 7.30 baje! @mishrageee,14th April evening sharp 7.30 ! @mishrageee
Jab police ko bhi gundo wale kaam de diye jaayein toh farak karna mushkil ho jata haihttps://twitter.com/AndColorPockeT/status/845975142127820800 …,when police is also given job of theives then it becomes difficult to differentiate https://twitter.com/AndColorPockeT/status/845975142127820800 …
@NoSylviaPlath  khushi ke aansoo,@NoSylviaPlath tears of joy
"@RowdyTalks zaroor bhai, bad company toh chahiye hogi saath mein. :D","@RowdyTalks definitely bro, bad company would be needed."
iss kaam ke kitne paise milte hai aajkal ?,now-a-days how much money is given for this work?
@twinitisha #Emo ho to Nitisha ke level ke.. Warna na ho,@twinitisha #Emo if have then of the level of nitisha ke level ke. otherwise should not have
@jdshastri26 ajeeb hain ye :) @VishalDadlani,@jdshastri26 this is weird @VishalDadlani
Bhai acha mazak kar Raha ! #Manmohansingh party nai karta , mon brat rakta hai !
"""Baiyya aapke paas peene liye wat-uh (water) hai?""
Ola Driver: Naahi madam lota kahan gaadi mein rakhein? Oo to ghar par hai.
#facepalm","""bother do you have drinking water?""
Ola Driver: no madam where do i keep pot in the car? it's in my home.
#facepalm"
"duria "" Bengal "" Kab Aa Rahe ho @OfficeOfRG Aao Kabhi Baduria me "" Gari v meri "" Petrol v meri #WestBengal #NotInMyName #RahulGandhi","when are you coming to "" Bengal "" duria sometime come to @OfficeOfRG in Baduria "" my car "" petrol also mine #WestBengal #NotInMyName #RahulGandhi"
south africa walo ko yaad dilo ko ki usko india ne azad kiya tha to ye match kaise jitne dete .  .  .,help south africans remember that india helped them gain freedom so how can we let them win this match.
@BloodyKamina ladki dekhi nahi ki reply karna chalo.. Leech @LoKarDi_RT,@BloodyKamina haven't seen girl yet and directly going to reply. Leech @LoKarDi_RT
RT @singhAlisha05 : Happy mahashivratri to u all .. kanyaon ko acha var mile or var ko achi kanya mile ... Har Har Mahadev ! http://t.co/ytQy3D,retweet @singhAlisha05 : Happy mahashivratri to u all .. groom should get a good bridegroom and bridegroom should get a good groom ... everyone is Mahadev ! http://t.co/ytQy3D
"samajh gaya na bas, woh hi chahiye tha!","you have understood now, just that was required!"
tu hot hai. @drpoonam hai na? @akshaykanitkar hai na?,you are hot. is it @drpoonam? is it @akshaykanitkar?
"@Amit_smiling JDU jaegi har, ab aage badhega Bihar. #NitishKaNakliVikas","@Amit_smiling JDU will lose, now bihar will move forward. #NitishKaNakliVikas"
@PriyancaBajaj waah.. Kahi tu hi to nahi,@PriyancaBajaj wow..isn't it you
Saturday kharab kar diya. Sigh.,wasted Saturday. Sigh.
kachua sir angrezi bolta hai kyaa :p,sir does tortoise speak english
"Sabko sirf apni ghar ki padi hai, isiliye desh ki phatti padi hai.",everyone thinks of his own home so the country is teared down.
"#pappu saying Aaj mere pas Gadi ""hai bangla ""hai #swissbank balance ""hai tumhare pas kya hai?",#pappu saying today i have car i have banglow i have #swissbank balance what do you have?
"sach hai bhai, sau pratishat","it is a truth bro, hundred persent"
ye ganna bhi  . aap party se mila h8a hai .  .  . chanday ka mall inkay pass bhi jata hai .  .  .,this song also. it is related to your party. they also recieve material from chanday.
@GulabJaamun haar rahe hai kya? :(,@GulabJaamun are you loosing?
"ufc on fuel tv 5 preliminary card preview: this saturday ,  the ufc once again comes to fuel tv .  coming  .  .  .  http/URL #ufc #mma","ufc on fuel tv 5 preliminary card preview is on this saturday ,  the ufc once again comes to fuel tv.  http/URL #ufc #mma"
sari earth ke faadu sticker lagey hotey they ullu bananey ko .  .  . grrrrr !,whole earth's superb stickers would be there to make a fool!
M2K stud h :D,stud
"salman bhaijan,....se baat krne hai,...bass ye bolna hai ur moive will superhit.....","want to talk to salman brother,just want to say that your movie will be superhit."
@chetan_bhagat Farmer ka dard Farmer jaansakta hai . A/C Room mein baitkar Books likhne wale ko kyapata Farmers ka dard . #LandAcquisitionBill,@chetan_bhagat farmer will only know a farmer's pain. how would the one writting books sitting in A/C Room know the pain of farmers. #LandAcquisitionBill
Bhau PTI ke karnaame dekho  http://www.livemint.com/Politics/Xgb6Xq0PgAo6JU7y2GLrZP/Big-cash-deposits-may-face-200-penalty-even-before-income-t.html … @alok_bhatt @chhayank,brother see the work by PTI http://www.livemint.com/Politics/Xgb6Xq0PgAo6JU7y2GLrZP/Big-cash-deposits-may-face-200-penalty-even-before-income-t.html … @alok_bhatt @chhayank
5 - 5 karke tamatar phenkopic.twitter.com/a55ucfBgZk,throw tomatos 5 - 5 at a time pic.twitter.com/a55ucfBgZk
@andredecunha fans ? You really think there are fans already ? Arsenal really isn't that popular ,)
"@Ra_Bies @Alllahdin Baapuji se bahot kuch seekhne toh milega, ladkibaaz and at baitha hai. Main shareef hu :-D","@Ra_Bies @Alllahdin you can get a lot to learn form baapuji, stud is sitting here. i am innocent"
@Stupidosaur @BucketheadCase bhai maaf kar de use. Galti ho gayi usse,@Stupidosaur @BucketheadCase bro forgive him. he made a mistake
@White_Crimes @RowdyTalks theek hai kuch achha bolna hi nahi mujhe,@White_Crimes @RowdyTalks then its okay now i don't want to talk nice
"Mere paas shave karne ke liye paise nahi hai, magar GF hai.https://twitter.com/nikky283/status/754724526504542208 …","i don't have money to shave, but i have a girlfriend. https://twitter.com/nikky283/status/754724526504542208 …"
stop compaining others do it by yourself . u do have these issues . arvind kejriwal,stop complaining others do it by yourself. you do have these issues . arvind kejriwal
Kahin durr jab din dhal jaaye #GuessTheSong,when the day sets off somewhere far #GuessTheSong
@Payal091 beta theek se khaya karo,@Payal091 child eat food properly
"Akele ho to horror movie nahi dekhni chahiye, poori raat neend nahi aayi :(","if you are alone then you should not watch horror movie, i could not sleep the whole night"
"RT @rajneeshjindal : @Gurmeetramrahim #BlockBusterMSG PitaJi , Aap Ko Bhi Mahashivratri ki Lakh Crore Badhai , Thank You PitaJi , Hame Apni Sha","retweet @rajneeshjindal : @Gurmeetramrahim #BlockBusterMSG papa ,you also have lakh crore blessings of mahashivratri, thank you papa"
Toh Barkha ko khila bewakoof ... Spin ki masterni hai https://t.co/i58wDjo0H5,then feed barkha idiot... she is master at spin https://t.co/i58wDjo0H5
puuri class ghuurti thi  .  .  aur sabse duur waali class se hi chalk laate the  .  .  .  .,the whole class used to stare. and used to bring chalk form the most far class.
"Eve bahar aao, Adam Milne aaya hai. #ObviousPun","eve come out, adam has come to meet. #ObviousPun"
Bina peeye waise bhi koi baat nai karta - doubleemo,neverthless without drinking no one talks - doubleemo
"LOL

Aaj khet nahi gaya gareeb kisaan ?https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/794011700022296576 …","laugh out louder

didn't poor farmer went to farm today? https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/794011700022296576 …"
acha kia yeh post update karke kyuki mai bhi yakeen karne laga tha is msgs ka.... ab sukun hua k tumne aisa nahi bola salman :)),nice done by updating the post because i also started to believe such messages.... now i feel peace that you have not told like this salman
kejari the most stupid person of india .  bhagoda and liar are the suitable labels for kejari .,kejari the most stupid person of india .  coward and liar are the suitable labels for kejari .
making a sign for #kate's nyc marathon on sunday for @someUSER charity .  what do you think ?  was never any good at art .  .  .  .  http/URL,making a sign for #kate's new york city marathon on sunday for @someUSER charity.  what do you think ?  was never any good at art? http/URL
"#ThingsYouShouldntSayAfterSex 
Wallet ghar bhool gaya","#ThingsYouShouldntSayAfterSex 
forgot wallet at home"
look who (bhagoda) is talking  ?,look who (coward) is talking?
"@Lala_The_Don Nitish ne logo ko bewacuf banaya, Development ki spelling bhi nahi aati #NitishKaNakliVikas","@Lala_The_Don Nitish made a fool out of people, he wouldn't even know the spelling of development #NitishKaNakliVikas"
"@indiantweeter le le bhai, bas do chaar log ko phaans lu","@indiantweeter take this broi, just catch some two four more people"
@AdvancedMaushi daruu hai na.. Kal hi piya bohot,@AdvancedMaushi is there alcohol. drank most of it yesterday
@bhak_sala @SAfridiOfficial me too !! and qandeel baloch ka bhi bahut bada fan hu,@bhak_sala @SAfridiOfficial me too! and also a big fan of qandeel baloch
@practical_fool sarabhai vs sarbhai,@practical_fool sarabhai versus sarbhai
"@vikrantkumar lol absolutely, maine ye video bahot pehle kahin dekha tha. Ab yaad aaya.","@vikrantkumar laugh out louder absolutely, i have seen this video somewhere long time ago. now i remember."
@Meenay_ tm bhi dekhti ho yeh ?,@Meenay_ tm also watch this?
yahoo ke live score se ,)
@newton3G Aaj @Ra_Bies Sir meri keh ke le rahe hai,@newton3G today @Ra_Bies Sir is really mad at me
bought tix for sat's nets game b4 prices jumpd and @someUSER allowd seller to reneg w/o proof the tix arent available #poorcustomerservice,bought tix for sat's nets game before prices jumped and @someUSER allowed seller to renegotiate without proof the tix aren't available #poorcustomerservice
@Alllahdin dil kahan hai? kahan hai dil??,@Alllahdin where is heart? where is heart?
i will not be able to handle harry's voice in kiss you .  . and i may not survive after hearing all the songs on take me home in their entirety .,i will not be able to handle harry's voice in kiss you and i may not survive after hearing all the songs on take me home in their entirety .
Aaj Diwali nahi hai be.,Diwali is not today.
@Atheist_Krishna @bhaiyyajispeaks hai koi aam bada aadmi,@Atheist_Krishna @bhaiyyajispeaks is there some common big man
bhai kehna kya chahte ho? tumhare hisab se log RaGa ko vote den? ya kejriwal ko?https://twitter.com/HartoshSinghBal/status/859314350498095104 …,bro what do you want to say? according to you people would vote to RaGa? or to kejriwal? https://twitter.com/HartoshSinghBal/status/859314350498095104 …
ayye dost faramosh tera beer aur dabba gosht kidhar hai? @Alllahdin,hey friend where is you beer and meat tiffin? @Alllahdin
"sat here with a cuppa coffee ,  watching jeremy kyle with @someUSER #lovely","sat here with a cup of coffee ,  watching jeremy kyle with @someUSER #lovely"
Prem ki _____ Mein Danda Daal Aayo.,In prem's____ i have inserted a stick
@Joydas din bhar gaaliya sunta hai.. pachane ke liye daru.. LOLz,@Joydas full day listens abuse..uses beer for digesting them.
tu hi rakh bhai. Thanks.,You only keep it. Thanks
RT @JhaSanjay Rahul Gandhi ka saath dekar #MainBanaUllu,retweet after supporting rahul gandhi @JhaSanjay #MainBanaUllu
"sir pls ek reply de do....main to ish khushi se hi pagal ho jaunga....pls sir,pls..i beg to you.",Sir please give a reply. the happiness which your reply give will make me mad..Please sir please. I beg to you
"Rahul Gandhi iss duniya me sirf teen cheezo ke liye aaye hai

1. Entertainment 
2. Entertainment 
3. Entertainment","Rahul gandhi has just come in the world for three mere things. 

1 Entertainment. 
2. Entertainment 
3. Entertainment"
@whyrus_ kabhi mauka nahi laga uska,@whyrus_ he never got the chance.
@Jagat___Janani internals khatam ? Kaise hue,@Jagat_Janani. Are internals over? How did they go?
@friendlii_ghost bhai paise lele.. Par pls karwa de,@frieindlii_ghost  brother take money. please let it be done.
@Jagat___Janani haan bana lo.. Maine apni life insurance last week hi renew karwayee hai,@Jagat___Janani yes make it. i have renewed my life insurance just last week
sahi m nhi sudhre .  .  .  .,really haven't improved.
subah 7 baje se sab aa gaye hai .  .,all have arrived since morning 7 o'clock.
RT @Iam_Prerna : Hahahaha koi kah do ye parody hai https://t.co/eBbe5IOrqv,retweet @Iam_Prerna : hahahaha someone just say its a parody https://t.co/eBbe5IOrqv
"Pyar toh bahot hai, paisa chahiye.","have a lot of love, want money."
@Wicked_Nawab mobile se khol rahe ho kya,@Wicked_Nawab are you opening from mobile
@someUSER @someUSER what about holland ?  !  'countdown to ufc 153: silva vs .  bonnar' debuts tuesday on fuel tv http/URL,@someUSER @someUSER what about holland?! 'countdown to ufc 153: silva vs bonnar' debuts tuesday on fuel tv http/URL
cry cry itna cry krtae ho kaiko  .  .  .  har pal rtae kaaiko  !  !  !,cry cry you cry this much why. every second why do you cry!!!
Guyssss meri profile picture kesi leg rahi hai..???,Guyssss how is my profile picture looking..???
see this .  .  sahil ahuja,see this. sahil ahuja
@YouDontKnowWho_ sirf  ladiyon ko RT karna bandh kar pehle,@YouDontKnowWho_ sirf  stop retweeting girls first
Modi sarkar ne Congress party ko bhi #GST mein shamil kar liya hai kya?,Modi government have even included congress party in #GST?
Acidity hogayi hogihttps://twitter.com/ZeeNews/status/728826782900572163 …,acidity may have happend https://twitter.com/ZeeNews/status/728826782900572163 …
"Bhai @imVkohli Imtiaz Ali se baat karo bhabhi ka career bigaad raha Hai
#JabHarryMetSejal","Bro @imVkohli talk to Imtiaz Ali sister-in-law's career is getting worse
#JabHarryMetSejal"
@sureshpprabhu great respite for ppl of N-Bihar with patna-sonepur rlybridge . Introduce High speed Stabadi on this route .,@sureshpprabhu great respite for people of northern bihar with patna-sonepur railway bridge. Introduce High speed Shatabadi on this route.
@zoomphatak Pareshaan kar rakha hai,@zoompathak i have been troubled
@AdvancedMaushi Abhi to party shuru hue hai,@AdvancedMaushi the party has started just now
tumhare DP ka asar hai <3,it is the effect of your dp 
"Shukriya, dhyaan rakhunga!!","thank you, i will take care!!"
bhai tune to aaj imagination k records tod diye .  .  .  . :d :d,"brother, you have broken the records of imagination today"
@engg89 Reply karta hai,@engg89 he replies
"#Delhi walo "" Taiyaar ho jao . #Diwali aa rahi hai ! Last time waala #Pollution ka record todna hai !","people of #Delhi, get ready. #Diwali is coming ! we have to break last time's record #Pollution !"
Yahi hota hai jab sir se bal ke sath-sath akal bhi chali jaye.pic.twitter.com/jKiVvItE9B,this is what happens when intelligence sheds along with the hair on the head pic.twitter.com/jKiVvItE9B
@BloodyKamina wo jo 'tere dost' ki baat kar rahi hai.. Usme tum bhi aate ho Mr Kamine ,)
"@sunilbmore hoye, asach raag aala hota.","@sunilbmore yes, i was angry just like this"
"Jia's mom: Didi Jia khel chuki ho to bhej dijiye use.
Lata ji: Uske liye tumhe ana padega.
Jia's mom: Kyon?
Lata ji: Tere bina Jia jaye na..","jia's mom: sister, if jia has played, please send her.
lata : for that, you will have to come yourself.
jia's mom: why?
lata : jia doesn't go without you.."
haha .  .  . guddu ne sir ki prestige ki seet baja di :p,"haha, guddu messed up sir's prestige."
"Madam @madhutrehan apne team ko bolo banteh se khelne ke liye, abhi bacchey hainhttps://twitter.com/OpIndia_com/status/713402400078499841 …","madam @madhutrehan tell your team to play with bats, they're still kids. https://twitter.com/OpIndia_com/status/713402400078499841 …"
" dimaag kharab kar diya bhai Rajdeep ne, sirf Indira ki puch raha hai, Rahul ki dimaagiya haalat ka kya?!","rajdeep has driven me mad. he's asking about indira's mental state, what about rahul's?"
@HyprPunjabiKudi ye mujhe kaise pata?,@HyprPunjabiKudi how would i know this?
"Delhi me hookah kya ban ""kiya poora delhi hi hookah ban gaya. #smogindelhi #dheentDelhi","just after hookah got banned in delhi, the whole of delhi has become like a hookah.  #smogindelhi #dheentDelhi"
"Abay #Trump US ka president bana hai "" #Pakistan ka nahi ! Sab aese ro rahe hain jese koi qayamat aagai ho !!","#Trump has become the president of the united states, not of #Pakistan ! everyone is crying as if an apocalypse has arrived !!"
@Kallerz37 chappair nahi lagayi thi ? @oblmir,@Kallerz37 did you not reprimand before ? @oblmir
ye ho chuka hai 2 saal pehlehttps://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/418672270479851520 …,this has happened two years before https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/418672270479851520
kachua sir weekend par gaye hain kya ?,has kachua sir gone on a weekend?
"@sagarcasm kuch nahi, anti tweet jaisa tha. ","@sagarcasm nothing, it was like an anti tweet."
@friendlii_ghost tera janam safal ho gaya bhai @sachin_rt,"@friendlii_ghost brother, the purpose of your birth is fulfilled @sachin_rt"
amit ji missing picture mei  .  .  .,amit is missing in the picture.
@JatinKiDuniya koi nahi agli dekh le...,@JatinKiDuniya no worries watch the next one
@TweetErrant @Being_Humor je baat bhai! loved it!,@TweetErrant @Being_Humor this is the way brother! i loved it!
"daniels good-humored on comedy show: indiana gov .  mitch daniels was a good sport thursday when he appeared on  "" t .  .  .  http/URL","daniels good-humored on comedy show: indiana government .  mitch daniels was a good sport thursday when he appeared on  "" t .  .  .  http/URL"
hey guys garbage bin: you are too close to reality and always reminds me my old days ,)
@SrBachchan Good morning dear amit ji . Pranam Happy Tuesday . N #MahaShivratri ki mangalkamnayen . Sada khush rahiye . http://t.co/NA79ghBMFx,"@SrBachchan good morning dear amit . salutations, wish you a happy tuesday. auspicious wishes of #MahaShivratri to you. always be happy . http://t.co/NA79ghBMFx"
#Modi ji ne humare bachpan ke adult jokes ko bhi sach kar dikhaya 0 Aur kitne acche din chahiye ? #INSKalvari #MakeInIndia,#Modi has realised the adult jokes of our childhood. how much more good days do you want ? #INSKalvari #MakeInIndia
or ramu kaka .  .  .  kab baja re ho chhutti ka ghanta !  !,oh uncle ramu! when are you going on a holiday?
hamare dil me To zinda hai.. aur laptop pe uska porn bhi hai  @DOCTORATLARGE,"she is alive in our hearts, and her porn is present in our laptop.  @DOCTORATLARGE"
u gags are lyk sweet boxes .  .  it opens all the sweetness of childhood .,your gags are like sweet boxes. they open all the sweetness of childhood .
@friendlii_ghost haan bakra veg hi tha ,)
"@Ra_Bies LOL. Sardar maine aapka khoon choosa hai...
Sardar:Jaa Kaliya Jaa jee le apni zindagi","@Ra_Bies laughing out loud. sir i have sucked your blood'
sir: go kaaliya go live your life"
@mahnoor Dono kartey hain.Bacchey pitey hain shikaari aadmi khaate hain,@mahnoor they do both. the kids drink while the hunters eat men.
saniya kahi stand nahi karti  .  . beacuse she was not from our country .  .,saniya doesn't stand anywhere .  . beacuse she was not from our country .  .
"SONA nahi na sahi, fikr kya hai main hu na tere liye.",it's ok if you don't have gold. why worry? i am there for you. 
@Dishasatra Canada trend bhi horaha hai,@Dishasatra Canada is also trending
"Delhi Metro announcement is going mad, Ghitorni ko Sultanpur, Sultanpur ko Ghitorni. A total raveena-karishma, karishma-raveena moment!","delhi metro announcement is going mad, ghitorni as sultanpur, sultanpur as Ghitorni. a total raveena-karishma, karishma-raveena moment!"
@milisilichilli ... use parliament Mai bolne nahi dete ... yaha bhi nahi bolne denge ... jakar apni mummy ko complaint karega fir,@milisilichilli they do not allow him to speak in the parliament. they do not allow him to speak here also. he'll go and complain to his mother.
Ye taste kar ke kaun batata hai yaar?https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/887587064686026752 …,"who tastes such a thing, friend?https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/887587064686026752 …"
CM Shivraj Singh offers prayer to Mahakal on Mahashivratri http://t.co/HcQkVP682n,chief minister shivraj singh offers prayer to mahakal on mahashivratri http://t.co/HcQkVP682n
Bhai @ArvindKejriwal 400% salary hike ki badhai.. Daru party kaha hai ??,brother @ArvindKejriwal congratulations on your 400% salary hike. where is the liquor party?
Lol. Battery nikal gayee to mobile band pad gaya naa https://twitter.com/BBCHindi/status/669483977888153601 …,"laughing out loud. if the battery is removed, the mobile will obviously shut down. https://twitter.com/BBCHindi/status/669483977888153601 …"
Baat na bani....,it did not work out.
.@narendramodi sir kal meri Dilli wali train chhoot gayee thi raat ko.. Nahi to aapke bagal wali window seat pe baitha hota abhi,.@narendramodi sir yesterday night i missed my train to delhi.. otherwise i'd be sitting on thewindow seat beside you
"If one lock can be opened by many keys , it's called a shitty lock ... but if one key opens many locks it's called a MASTER KEY haha !! :P","If one lock can be opened by many keys , it's called a shitty lock ... but if one key opens many locks it's called a MASTER KEY haha !! "
@chatpatidiary mujh par kyu ungli uthaana phir? :-/,@chatpatidiary then why to accuse me?
bt .  .  . iske maximum games boor hote the,most of its games are boring.
Tumhare liye hi karta hu.. koi shauk nahi hai mujhe,"i do this only for you, this is not my hobby."
Wo sab toh theek hai .. But yeh green apple mojito k saath Ras malayi kisne mangayi ??,all that is fine. but who ordered ras malayi with green apple mojito ??
@LoKarDi_RT tune apne ghar pe baat ki hamare rishte ki ??,@LoKarDi_RT did you talk with your family about our marriage ??
guddu ko oscar milna chahiye !  ha .  .  .  .,guddu should be awarded oscar! yes
@ROFLaaLa @Alllahdin @MeetUunngLee Jhol toh kiya hai usne ye baat pakki hai,@ROFLaaLa @Alllahdin @MeetUunngLee it is sure that he has done something fishy
@AjEeTj_20 @PeeliHaldi Abey Ghar wapasi karva rahi hun .. :P,@AjEeTj_20 @PeeliHaldi i'm converting him back to his original religion.
kasiy bt kary gy salu sb?,what did salu sir say?
thanks rishi Bhai...kaise hain aap,thanks brother rishi ...how are you?
raymond's been busy and we have homemade gingerbread with lemon icing for tomorrow's homemade cake .  soups will .  .  .  http/URL,raymond's been busy and we have homemade gingerbread with lemon icing for tomorrow's homemade cake .  soups will .  .  .  http/URL
People : Whee is Rahul ? Sonia : Haan .. Paapu kaha hai ?? Pappuuuu ???? #WhereIsRahul,"people : where is rahul ? sonia : yes, where is rahul?? rahul ???? #WhereIsRahul"
@akshaykanitkar Driver aaya hai ?,@akshaykanitkar has the driver come?
"Wazan Sonakshi Sinha, dress Aishwarya ke size wali.","weight like sonakshi sinha, dress of aishwarya's size"
RT @hushar_mulga : Bhai Ab koe rahul Gandhi k bare me mat puchna ... #RahulOnLeave Congress : http://t.co/isAIm9itAm,RT @hushar_mulga : brother now no one should ask about rahul gandhi ...#RahulOnLeave Congress : http://t.co/isAIm9itAm
sir inshaalllah may ap sy ek bar milon ga.sir ap sy galay mil jao ga.n,sir by god i shall meet you once.sir i will hug you
@GhantaGuy lekin 4 log kya kahenge Shivam,"@GhantaGuy but what will other people say, shivam?"
@love_oindrila Happy MahaShivratri too u di . Ankurgee : #RailBudget2015 : #Visionary #Realistic #Positive #Practical #Progressive #Inclusive Thank You sureshpprabhu RailMinIndia PMOIndia,@love_oindrila happy mahashivratri to you sister . Ankurgee : #RailBudget2015 : #Visionary #Realistic #Positive #Practical #Progressive #Inclusive thank you sureshpprabhu RailMinIndia PMOIndia
kaun nahi hai ye poocho !  !,ask who is not there!
Kya #NoteBandi k jashn me unn logon k pariwar valo ko bulaya jaega jinke relatives ki #Banks ki line me lag k death hui ?,Kya #NoteBandi k jashn me unn logon k pariwar valo ko bulaya jaega jinke relatives ki #Banks ki line me lag k death hui ?
"Suit boot
Kurta
Dhoti
Chaadi
Baniyan
Bra
Panty
..
Rahul bhai.. Ye sab sun liya humne.. Ab iske aage to badhohttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/651675487828217856 …","Suit boot
Kurta
Dhoti
Chaadi
Baniyan
Bra
Panty
..
brother rahul, we have heard all this, now move ahead. https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/651675487828217856 …"
Priyanka-Robert jaise achaanak se Lalit Modi se mile kal ko Dawood se bhi mil sakte hain. Dare Arnab ask?,"just as priyanka-robert met lalit modi suddenly yesterday, they might meet dawood tomorrow. can arnab dare to ask?"
@twinitisha tag hi nahi kiya tumne usse :(,@twinitisha you didn't tag him at all.
bhai mujhe apna whats app no. do na roj krenge.....,"brother, please give me your whatsapp number. we'll talk everyday."
kaun nahi chipka hua tv se :p,who isn't glued to their tv?
@huh_watnow ye dekho aajkal ki ladkiyo ko @twinitishapic.twitter.com/FovAiVsEN4,@huh_watnow see these girls of today. @twinitishapic.twitter.com/FovAiVsEN4
Mr. helicopter #dhoni @cricketaakash Sachin tendulkar with his son arjun promoting swachh Bharat abhiyan !!,mr. helicopter #dhoni @cricketaakash sachin tendulkar with his son arjun promoting swachh bharat abhiyan !!
i agreed 0 & Also agr Koi Fail hoga toh 90% Fault bhi isi #Jio ka hoga 0,"i agreed. and also, if someone fails then 90% fault would be of #Jio. "
@huh_watnow tujhe bhi samaj ni aaya,@huh_watnow even you didn't understand.
Bhai cement pata hai tum log ko kya hoti hai ? https://twitter.com/khalidkhan787/status/658572313613438976 …,"brother, do you all know what is cement ? https://twitter.com/khalidkhan787/status/658572313613438976 …"
@mohituraina MahaShivratri ki aapko hardik shubhkamnaye . Bhole Nath apki hr icha puri kre . Aapko bahut miss krte h #Mahadev serial ko .,@mohituraina auspicious wishes of mahashivratri to you. may lord shiva fulfill your wishes. we miss you and the #Mahadev serial.
Bande matramjai hindbharat mata ki jaind indai is greati love my india,->
@Shreela22 @InshaMalik_1 tu bhi bta de apna shree ,)
"Saas nahi hai, shaadi nahi hui ab tak ","i do not have a mother-in-law, i am not married yet."
"buzzing for the game tomorrow ,  gong to be a great atmosphere and a possible upset is on the cards !  bring on aston villa !  #stfc","buzzing for the game tomorrow,  going to be a great atmosphere and a possible upset is on the cards !  bring on aston villa !  #stfc"
Haa bhai ban gyi baat😊😉,"yes brother, the work is done."
"@sukaina_ali Jo bhi , aaj bahut maza aane wala hai .. who ever cries at the end .","@sukaina_ali whatever, there will be much fun today, who ever cries at the end ."
haha ye toh meri story hai .  .  .  . papa mera project karte the .,haha this is my story. my father used to do my projects
guduu ka jugad to hmesa fit ho jata .  .  . sare kam kr aya,"guddu's workarounds always fit, he did all the work."
yay .  .  .  we had us a mini water fight =) now my hair messed up &lt,&lt
thats mainly bcoz he is sooooo hen-pecked by U !!!,that's mainly because he is so hen-pecked by you!!!
@PowerPlayWorld heard shoib akhtars interview post Pakistan-West Indies match ? ' misbah match ki summary de raha hai ?! ',@PowerPlayWorld did you hear shoaib akhtar's interview post pakistan-west indies match ? 'is misbah giving a match summary ? '
Awaara bhanwre .... childhood fav song #Sapney #Kajol #Prabhudeva,awaara bhanwre- childhood favourite song #Sapney #Kajol #Prabhudeva
#IndvsPak damad ji chauka mar dia ... not fair !!,"#IndvsPak son-in-law, you hit a four, it isn't fair!!"
bhai tu mere support me aaya.. Aansu aa gaye,"brother, you came to support me, i am in tears."
Ekdam zorraat chalu aahe. Tumhi disat nahi itthe,the work is going on in full force. you are not seen here nowadays.
@Strawberigloz kashala? Tumhi zhopa. Udya sutti aahe mala. Evdha tochun bolu naka maazyashi,@Strawberigloz why? you go to sleep. i have a holiday tomorrow. please don't speak so harshly to me.
best moments during using face book .  .  .  .  .  . reading garbage bin,best moment during using facebook is reading garbage bin
bas pahonch hi raha hu aaj patthraav hoga. @VodafoneIN @humasqureshi,i have almost reached. there will be stone-pelting today. @VodafoneIN @humasqureshi
"Mind : ""bohot time waste ho gaya.. kuch kaam kar lete hai""

Twitter :pic.twitter.com/VoQVb3RGYM","mind : ""lot of time has been wasted. let's do some work.""

twitter :pic.twitter.com/VoQVb3RGYM"
Translation : Bharat mata ki Jai . https://t.co/iAbRANMRmd,translation: victory to mother india. https://t.co/iAbRANMRmd
@EngineeRoholic so ja bhai tu,"@EngineeRoholic brother, go to sleep."
@Champ_Nikk thodi si jo pee li hai,@Champ_Nikk i have drunk some liquor.
"#GuessTheSong
Paani na hota jharane na hote, yeh vaadi na hoti, milata na tu to meri jaan nahin hoti, yeh pyaas nahin hoti","#GuessTheSong
water wouldn't be there, there wouldn't be waterfalls, this valley wouldn't exist, if you wouldn't have met me, this life wouldn't exist, there wouldn't be any thirst."
i think in sab me iska koi hath nahi h .  .  .,i don't think that he is involved in any of htis.
duniya gayi tel lene .  .  apne khaane peene mein busy ,)
Star Kids. Warna sadak kinaare choodiyan bech rahi hoti aur wo bhi usse nahi bikti.,"star kids. otherwise she would be selling bangles on the roadside, and she wouldn't be able to do even that."
Bhai @VodafoneIN kya hai ye? @humasqureshi, @VodafoneIN what is this? @humasqureshi
even after scoring the required marks  .  .  that is just a sad story  .  >  !  !,even after scoring the required marks  .  .  that is just a sad story  .  
Tujhko mirchi lagi toh main kya karu?https://twitter.com/sardesairajdeep/status/740590424285315072 …,what should i do if you're irritated?https://twitter.com/sardesairajdeep/status/740590424285315072 …
"Ye uncle apni biwi ke saath.. Roadside pe gaadi khadi karke.. Bhari dopahari me pani patashe kha rahe hai..

Shayad yehi pyaar hai ",here is this uncle with his wife. he is eating panipuri with his wife having parked his vehicle on the roadside. i think this is love.
"@drpoonam very very very bad of you, aisi ya kami hai mujhe mein? Bas thoda kala, mota hu, muh se badboo aati hai. BAS?!","@drpoonam very very very bad of you. what is the fault in me? i'm just a little fat, little dark and i have mouth odour. that's it?!"
@prtxt @SahilRiz bada jaanwar aur duniya khatre main are two worldwide popular genres,@prtxt @SahilRiz 'large animal' and 'world in danger' are two popular genres worldwide.
"yaar, tum hamesha gyan kyu dete ho? Joke ho toh sunao please","friend, why do you always keep on giving knowledge? crack a joke if you have one please."
@Sonu_ChaiPoha dono ko ek chamaat padega @BUnlimtedpic.twitter.com/M5ZHh4aBY0,@Sonu_ChaiPoha both will get a slap. @BUnlimtedpic.twitter.com/M5ZHh4aBY0
"O no no, maine pee nahi hai..No, maine pee nahi hai..Haanji, mainu pila di gayi hai..Pila di gayi hai..jo bhi hai sahi hai..Maza aa rahi hai","no, no. i haven't drunk. no, i have not drunk. yes, i have been made to drink. whatever is right, i am having fun."
Aur kuch log ismein pareshaan haihttps://twitter.com/hanisha_mehta/status/626634282111348736 …,and some people are troubled regarding this. https://twitter.com/hanisha_mehta/status/626634282111348736 …
@Gurmeetramrahim MSGMissionHumanity Aadiguru ki jai .. aadiguru sadiyon baad hame Mila . Dhan dhan satguru tera hi aasra .,@Gurmeetramrahim victory to the first teacher. we have met the first teacher after centuries . salutations to the noble teacher. you are our only refuge .
Thik hai Sona :-),"it's fine, sona!"
"Humse badhkar sycophant Kaun ? Mata ho Mata Sonia Mata , Tumse badhkar kaun .... https://t.co/028JEiulAn","who is a greater sycophant than us? mother sonia, who is greater than you? https://t.co/028JEiulAn"
When #Namo hugged #Trump ... ek gana to Banta hai ...,"when #Namo hugged #Trump, the situation deserves a song."
#dada @SGanguly99 ko follow kariye aapke behtarin margdarshak the 0,"follow #dada @SGanguly99, he was a very good mentor of yours."
RT @khi_wala : @mendhro afridi ki pehlay hee koi izzat nahi . Qandeel is nice singer .,retweet @khi_wala : @mendhro afridi has no reputation already. qandeel is a nice singer .
"Vadra : Kya ye sach hai modi ji ? Modi : kya ?? Vadra : #LandAcquisitionBill ? Modi : haan .. but puch kyon raha hai ? Vadra : Nothing , I Love u :')","vadra : is it true modi sir ? modi : what ?? vadra : #LandAcquisitionBill ? modi : yes, but why are you asking ? vadra : nothing , i love you."
Aeyyyyyy Aeyyyyyy aeyyyyyy raftaar.. Khushiyon ki Aeyyyyyy Aeyyyyyy aeyyyyyy raftaar.,speed. speed of happiness.
i still remember that day like it was ever happened to me  !  !  :),i still remember that day like it ever happened to me  !  ! 
another biggest lie : maggie ready in 2 minutes :p,another biggest lie : maggie gets ready in 2 minutes.
@KapilMishraAAP u did wrong with Sir Ji otherwise #GST aur bhi jyada mazedaar kanoon hota @ManojTiwariMP @shaziailmi @sardanarohit @dna,@KapilMishraAAP you did wrong with sir. otherwise #GST would have been a funnier law. @ManojTiwariMP @shaziailmi @sardanarohit @dna
@Jaiswal98Pankaj aamchi maati aamchi manasa,"@Jaiswal98Pankaj our soil, our people."
"Bhaang milk khaa, bhaang.","run, eat milk, run"
"350 cr kamati ab,",she earns 350 crore now
@LoKarDi_RT are ek dholku laine khali khakdave to y nachva mande chhe,"@LoKarDi_RT if you make him eat even one dhoklu, he starts dancing"
@lovejihadi Akela Modi aur Kohli bahut kuch kar sakta hein . We need to support both of them .,@lovejihadi modi and kohli alone can do very much . we need to support both of them .
Yaar ladke follow karte hai yahan se :'(,"friend, boys follow from here."
woh dekh totaaa... Khachaaak,see that parrot.
@thesatbir @SaranshGoila Aatta toh gooth lete hain lekin roti gol nahi hoti,we mould the flour but we are unable to make a circular roti.
"@ZeeNews @rajnathsingh @narendramodi #SurgicalStrike "" #Notbandi ke jesa 1 bar #PatharbazStike v kar k dikhaiye sir "" hum sab aapke sath he ..","@ZeeNews @rajnathsingh @narendramodi #SurgicalStrike "" just like #Notbandi, please do #PatharbazStike also sir. "" we all are with you."
chalk lane us section me jao jis section me ladki ho .  .  ,) 
"Koi choice nahi bhai, jo chahiye woh haan nahi bolti, jo nahi chahiye woh gale padti hai.","there is no choice brother, the girl which i want says no, and the girl which i don't want sticks to me."
bahana same tha :p,the reason was same.
@dhaval241086 Altaf Raja aur Himesh bhai ke gaane bhi ,) @iAnkurSingh
@iamGunjanGrunge beta party nahi.. Jashn hoga Jashnpic.twitter.com/ohWSmlsz2h,"@iamGunjanGrunge son, there won't be a party, rather there would be a huge celebration. pic.twitter.com/ohWSmlsz2h"
San champ hai #GuessTheMoviepic.twitter.com/Dh7uHyRvou,san is a champ #GuessTheMoviepic.twitter.com/Dh7uHyRvou
@sayshardik kidhar hai?,@sayshardik where are you?
"@sayshardik Bhai, Rone tum log wale ho, sach","@sayshardik brother, you people are truly going to cry."
Kejriwal and Ujwal Nikam can make a great pair. Nikam can *cook up* some Biryani aur Kejriwal Raita phailayega,kejriwal and ujwal nikam can make a great pair. nikam can cook up some biryani and kejriwal will mess up things.
@scratchysingh paaji aap bhi pagal bologe? :'(,"@scratchysingh will you, too, call him mad? :'("
"@BabaFirki size ke hisaab se naam rakha chahiye na, aakhir woh tera hai!","@BabaFirki one should keep the name according to size, after all it is yours!"
"""Aur dikhao, aur dikhao""

~ Hawas","show more, show more! -lust"
@sreesanth36 :) . Do let me know when you visit Delhi :) basi ( Basbakan ) Angela Merkel,@sreesanth36  do let me know when you visit delhi prime minister angela merkel
@Soul_Kadhi #MahaShivratri Tum duck tales dekhkar bade hue ho vohi dekho ..,@Soul_Kadhi #MahaShivratri you've grown up watching duck tales. watch that itself.
"#DirtyTalkIn4Words ""MERE PATI AA JAENGE""","#DirtyTalkIn4Words ""my husband will come"""
RT @MukulKMishra : Tumhi log bole ki campus se police hata lo https://t.co/LEziPujl17,RT @MukulKMishra : you people only told to remove the police from the campus https://t.co/LEziPujl17
@coolfunnytshirt haan woh bhi hai!,@coolfunnytshirt yeah that is also there
"Left liberal's house:
Boy is born: Mubarak ho ladka hua hai
Girl is born: Mubarak ho victim card hua hai","left liberal's house:
boy is born: congratulations, a boy is born.
girl is born: congratulations, a victim card is born."
@klpe sabko pata hai rahne de,"@klpe everyone knows, let it be."
@ravi_gee Abhi toh party shuru hui hai :P,@ravi_gee the party has started just now
sbse gnda kaam .  .  . staff room k gate p khde hote hi sb teachers ki nazar idhar .  .  . abey kisse puchu may i come in !  !  !  :p,"the most repulsive work- standing at the door of the staff room, being watched by all the teachers and thinking that whom to ask permission to enter."
"@BolshoyBooze issi cheez se darr lagta hai, hangove se nahi","@BolshoyBooze i'm scared of this thing, not hangover"
@someUSER @someUSER sparks fly by taylor swift may or may not have been in the background .  it was moment i'll never forget lol,@someUSER @someUSER sparks fly by taylor swift may or may not have been in the background .  it was moment i'll never forget lughing out loud.
If you are this active on fb chances are you won't be getting to IIT in the first place . Keep dreaming .,"if you are this active on facebook, chances are that you won't be getting to IIT in the first place. keep dreaming ."
@gurudutt26 hadd hai yaar,"@gurudutt26 the limits have been crossed, friend"
it's our 6th birthday !  !  !  !  !  reggie your the best partner ever !  !  !  !  we would like to thank all of our brides who .  .  .  http/URL,"it's our 6th birthday !!! reggie, you're the best partner ever !!!!  we would like to thank all of our brides who .  .  .  http/URL"
"HAha! Ye pyar andha hota hia bhai, ismein sab ke raaste lag jaate hai.","haha! this love is blind, brother. everyone gets into problems in this."
"@TheZoiro 
1: Mujhe helmet dede.. bike hai mere paas
2: Mujhe bike dede.. helmet hai mere paas
 #YNOTCaptionThishttp://bit.ly/1GqGBvc ","@TheZoiro 
1: give me a helmet, i have a bike
2: give me a bike, i have a helmet
 #YNOTCaptionThishttp://bit.ly/1GqGBvc "
"@iaceo Samjha bhai. Tum jwab nahi samjha. Chalo, never mind.","@iaceo Samjha brother, you did not understand the answer. let it be, never mid."
@PRATIKatron High End PC hai kya ? o.O mera to 4 saal phle hi obsolete ho gaya tha :(,@PRATIKatron is it a high end personal computer ?mine got obsolete 4 years before itself.
maam @IJaising chitting kiya hai aapne.. Ab rana ayyub ki book launch ki nautanki to mat karo.. Jail to jaana padega..,ma'am @IJaising you have cheated.. now don't do the drama of launching rana ayyub's book.. you will have to go to jail..
"@Ra_Bies Happy Holi Jamadaar, @Alllahdin jaa re hat natkhat, chhod mera ghunghat, palat ke dungi aaj tujhe gaali re.","@Ra_Bies happy holi brother, @Alllahdin go away naughty one, leave my veil, i'll turn around and abuse you."
Vermaa phone utthao yaar ????,verma pick up the call friend!
"Maid of @MasalaBai: Memsaab.. Khane me kya banau..

MasalaBai: Sahab se pooch lo.. Mein to subah se Twitter pe gaaliya kha rahi hu..","Maid of @MasalaBai: ma'am, what food should i cook?

MasalaBai: ask your master.. i've been eating abuses on twitter since morning"
"Modi: Ye Rahul ke account me keede kisne kiye 
Amit Shah: pic.twitter.com/hUwInsZOQv","modi: who has messed with rahul's account 
amit shah: pic.twitter.com/hUwInsZOQv"
"Sting to accha tha, #GhantaNegotiations bolo. Kuch faayda nahi hua @ankitlal","the sting was good, say #GhantaNegotiations. there was no benefit @ankitlal"
"itni pyaari lag rahu hai yaar main shaadi kar lu Aishwarya se, bas woh haan bol de.","aishwarya is looking so beautiful i want to marry her, jus that she should say yes."
my mom just texted me reminding me that grammys birthdays tomorrow .  .  how could i ever forget ?  #biggestdayoftheyear,my mom just texted me reminding me that grammy's birthday is tomorrow.  how could i ever forget ?  #biggestdayoftheyear
@bhaiyyajispeaks Aap Lalit Modi ko aam kyu bula rahe hai ??,@bhaiyyajispeaks why are you calling lalit modi common?
@DareToZlaataan humse ummeed na rkho :p,@DareToZlaataan don't keep hope from us.
"@someUSER nov 1st facebook ,  sean ryan put plarium on the board as no .  1 social game in q4 ,  i can send you links to his interview","@someUSER november 1st facebook,  sean ryan put plarium on the board as number 1 social game in quarter 4,  i can send you links to his interview"
"Me: Modi ji.. aaj Rohit Sharma kitne run banaega ??
Modi ji:pic.twitter.com/TpG7rqaHMp","Me: modi sir, how many runs will rohit sharma score today??
modi :pic.twitter.com/TpG7rqaHMp"
@falgunshah2 rae bareli main nahi khelte kya?,@falgunshah2 do you not play in rae bareli ?
ak .  .  . saada jivan uchch vichaar,"simple living, high thinking."
"@aneeqa_shaikh rishedaro ko aur dosto ko stalk karna , :/",@aneeqa_shaikh stalking relatives and friends.
Pyaar maanga hai.. Khairaat nahi maangi..,"i have asked for love, not a donation."
"Koi Deewana Kehta Hai, Koi Rapist Kehta Hai.https://twitter.com/timesnow/status/629948680494190593 …","someone addresses as a fan, someone addresses as a rapist. https://twitter.com/timesnow/status/629948680494190593 …"
mai toh papa ke dibbe se 5-5 ke sikke chura ke unhi ko bechti thi :d,i stole coins of 5 rupees from my father's box and sold them to him
@ashu048 @Madan_Chikna @KyaUkhaadLega Raj tune mere saath aisa kyun kiya?  aur Mujhse zyada RTs bhi kamaye,"@ashu048 @Madan_Chikna @KyaUkhaadLega raj, why did you do this with me? and you earned more retweets than me."
@Ojasism nahi dekhi yaar,"@Ojasism friend, i haven't watched it."
Abe chacha @AnupamPkher ye kya bol rahi hain aunty? Sikandar ko bhi rape karna sikhaya hai kya? Chi chi,"oh uncle @AnupamPkher, what is aunty saying? have you taught sikandar to rape? disgusting."
are pagl to nhi ho gya h re tu kejriwaaaaal .  .  .  ?  ?  main mudde se bhtk gya yr .  .  .  .,kejriwal have you gone mad? i wandered away from the topic.
@Insane_chorri HAMARA ADHIKAR AAP HAM SE CHEEEN NAHI SAKTEY,@Insane_chorri you cannot take away our rights from us.
m bhi  .  .  . m bhi .  .  .  katai chipak gya jabrang tareeke se,even i .. he got attached very strongly
is page ki post pr jo sabse pahle comment karta hai  .  .  .  use bhi 26 january per award dekar sammanit krna chaiye :p ,)
khel ke end me south africa ke team ne indian team se kaha  .  bhai hum south africa se hai .  hamare jersey bas green color ka hai .,"at the end of the game, the south african team said to the indian team..  brother we are from soth africa .  only our jersey is of green colour."
Bhai ji @ankitlal shakal achhi nahi hai to baten to achhi kiya karo :),"brother @ankitlal, at least say good words if you're not good-looking."
"@SuchAMisfit Mountain dew, dar ke aage jeet hai.","@SuchAMisfit mountain dew, there is victory ahead of fear."
@someUSER for sure .  tough lovers are playig dickens on the 8th if you'd like to join me .,@someUSER for sure .  tough lovers are playing dickens on the 8th if you'd like to join me .
@WaggishMe mujhe pasand hai,@Waggishme i like it
@APoonia19 deodorant kyu chahiye.  Roz naha liya karo,@APoonia19 why do you need deodorant? take a bath everyday.
RT @tarsem_insan : @Gurmeetramrahim #PiousBhandara Kya paropkara kar rahe ho Ap smaj pe ..,RT @tarsem_insan : @Gurmeetramrahim #PiousBhandara how philantrophic you are towards the society!
Gujarat ko gaali de raha hu :(,i am abusing gujarat.
"Ye jo naya note market me aayega uski value #GST lag kar 256 ""hogi ya #GST kaat kar 144 hogi #200RupeeNote",would the value of the new note which has come in market be 256 after adding #GST or 144 after subtracting #GST #200RupeeNote
@TweetErrant @LoKarDi_RT _/\_ ye aise Hi hai. Sirf bol bachhan,"@TweetErrant @LoKarDi_RT he is like this only. only a talker, not a doer."
Haan Modi bhai directly Ambani ko arrest kar lete. Aur video bhi shoot kar lete. Warna prove kaise karoge twitter pepic.twitter.com/T7YdpeWl9P,"yes, modi would arrest ambani directly. and he would also shoot a video. otherwise how would you prove? twitter pepic.twitter.com/T7YdpeWl9P"
"if i was 21 i'd be in a room with noel gallagher ,  shaun ryder ,  bez etc but instead i'm in preston sat in kfc .  brilliant . ","if i was 21, i'd be in a room with noel gallagher,  shaun ryder,  bez etc but instead i'm in preston sitting in kfc . brilliant. "
@MeetUunngLee tu chahta hai meri barbaadi,@MeetUunngLee you wish for my destruction.
dost ho toh shan jaisa :),"if one has a friend, he should be like shan."
maybe just trying to be friend  .  .  .  .  .  could be of great help would do your assignments for free ,)
Sunil Shetty ko nikal ke bhai ko hero leliya!,sunil shetty was removed and brother was selected as the hero!
itne din se guddu ni aaya :(,guddu hasn't come since so many days.
@the_jok_er married logo ki feelings bhi hoti hai  @twinitisha,@the_jok_er even married people have feelings @twinitisha
Maulvi be like: But.. lekin.. arey.. matlab... but... ye saare milke humko pagal bana rahe hai #SonuNigam,maulvi be like: all of them are collectively fooling us. #SonuNigam
Almond ki aashahttps://twitter.com/sagarcasm/status/722264502566150144 …,hope of almond https://twitter.com/sagarcasm/status/722264502566150144 …
10lakh k suit pe ek muffler bhaari padh gya !! Dekhte hi dekhte sbko dhara shai kr gya !! #AAPSweep #DelhiDecides #AAPStorm,a muffler became dominant on a suit of 10 lakh !! he floored everyone very quickly!! #AAPSweep #DelhiDecides #AAPStorm
Rajeev Gandhi Desh Ko Aage Badhne Se Bachao Yojana.,rajeev gandhi prevent the nation from progressing scheme.
sabse pehle mera comment .  .  .  .  yeeeeee,yay! my comment is first!
@sailorsmoon Kumar Vishwas kahi bhi ghus jaata hai coz Jaha na pahuche ravi.. waha pahunche kavi ,)
"police aur master ke haath me danda dekh kar aadmi actor ,  surgeon ,  lawyer sab ban jaaeta hai .  .  .  :-p","having seen a stick in the hand of the police and the master, man becomes actor, surgeon, lawyer, everything."
RT BBSRBuzz : Sunabesha aka #Golden attire of Akhandalamani on occasion of #MahaShivratri #Odisha #festival http://t.co/GTfhwosc0K,retweet BBSRBuzz : sunabesha aka #Golden attire of akhandalamani on occasion of #MahaShivratri #Odisha #festival http://t.co/GTfhwosc0K
"@singhalmudit LOL! Relationship hai nahi chalane ke liye, thode mazze lene do","@singhalmudit laughing out loud! you don't have a relationship to maintain, let us have some fun."
@someUSER capello had a draw in his 4th game with juve in the serie a (2004/2005) .,@someUSER capello had a draw in his 4th game with juve in the series a (2004/2005) .
@MeetUunngLee kyu bhai?,@MeetUunngLee why brother?
cash khatam ho gaya :(,cash is over
Lagta hai inka UP CM candidate banne ka time a gaya hai. Idhar toh time poora hua dikhta haihttps://twitter.com/RoflGandhi_/status/698889153547665408 …,it seems it is time to become a candidate for the post of uttar pradesh chief minister. it looks like the time is over here. https://twitter.com/RoflGandhi_/status/698889153547665408 …
"@coolfunnytshirt Aaila, Popat hogaya.","@coolfunnytshirt oh, you've been fooled"
RT @IamMansoorKhan : @IamAbhijit Kyu bhai Vo accha tha😜 ONE MONTH FOR FAN,"RT @IamMansoorKhan : @IamAbhijit why brother, he was good. one month for fan."
"kuch dhang ka hi likh dete  ,  gaaliya likhne se kya hoga  .  .  . ","you should have written something meaningful, what is the use of writing cuss words? "
@someUSER why .  do you really want the falcons to go to chicago in jan for the nfc championship game .  go lions .,@someUSER why ? do you really want the falcons to go to chicago in january for the nfc championship game ? go lions!
Well done @YUVSTRONG12 ... kaam ban gaya .. ab koi baat nahi #clap #IndvsPak #WT20,well done @YUVSTRONG12 the work is done. no problem now. #clap #IndvsPak #WT20
@SarahZaki11 @_taurus30 @ayeshazafar441 Nai mne to bhagwan ka msg dena tha k Aj MahaShivratri he17 Somwar Varat karne se acha PATI milta hai,"@SarahZaki11 @_taurus30 @ayeshazafar441 no, i wanted to spread the message of god that today is mahashivratri. by keeping a vow for 17 mondays, one gets a good husband."
jao beta mera khana oven me rkh aao staff room me .  .  :@ :@ :(,"go son, keep my food in the oven in the staff room."
it's the best chance ... to propose ... otherwise u would be another popat ... :D,it's the best chance to propose otherwise you would be another fool
@HaramiParindey @BakwasRadio radio tez hai in sab baato me,@HaramiParindey @BakwasRadio the radio is loud in such things.
"LOL. Hotness ki dukaan, haaye dayya. 
Ye sunkar uske kaan kharab huwe.pic.twitter.com/Ua1Df10mhO","laughing out loud. the shop of hotness. oh god. 
his ears went bad on hearing this. pic.twitter.com/Ua1Df10mhO"
Sir @officeofRG doraemon dekhna band karo.. Ye dekho tumhara Amethi bhi gaya haath se.. https://twitter.com/shilpitewari/status/603075330480340993 …,sir @officeofRG stop watching doraemon. see you've lost amethi also. https://twitter.com/shilpitewari/status/603075330480340993 …
tabhi to ab tanmay jaise jokes maarega.. phir badhenge,"hence he'll crack jokes like tanmay does, then he'll progress."
"@KajuBadamChor Kaju ladke bindi laga rahe hai, iss par kuch vishesh tippani?","@KajuBadamChor kaju, boys are putting bindi on their forehead. do you have any special comment on this?"
@indiantweeter nahi bhai :-/ tujhe toh tag kar ke hi bolta na :-|,@indiantweeter no brother. i  would have told you by tagging you.
@nehat_ Sab ka malik ek hai.,@nehat_ god is one.
Gayatri Mantra se kaam chal jaega kya @anupamamathur1 ?pic.twitter.com/Tq8EMU5P0h,would gayatri mantra be enough @anupamamathur1 ?pic.twitter.com/Tq8EMU5P0h
Bhai @AksharPathak tujhe kuch bol raha hai.https://twitter.com/jayeshluv/status/712665572056543232 …,"brother, @AksharPathak is telling you something. https://twitter.com/jayeshluv/status/712665572056543232 …"
@Sunil_Dixit_15 @sanjivsinha73 nahi kothewali bhi ise accha hota hai,"@Sunil_Dixit_15 @sanjivsinha73 no, even prostitutes are better than this."
"@MeetUunngLee haan bhai, aaj pi nahi hai. paise khatam :'(","@MeetUunngLee yes brother, i haven't drunk today. money is over."
"You should have borrowed \ "" Vernier Callipers\ "" from the lab ...!! :P",you should have borrowed 'vernier callipers' from the lab !!
ultimate hai boss !  :d :d,it is ultimate!!
yaaar aaj pahli bar mujhe meri ma yaad ni ayi .  .,"friend, it is the first time that i did not remember my mother."
hum class k monitor the mje alag the raja babu :),i was the class monitor. the fun was different altogether.
"@PoojaMissra Bihar me BJP ko Laloo se jyada nuksaan Shatrughan Sinha ne pahuchaya hai.
 #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan","@PoojaMissra in bihar, bharatiya janata party has been damaged more by shatrughan sinha than lalu.
 #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan"
@KajuBadamChor ghar ke bahu ke saath aisa vyavhar nahi karte :'(,@KajuBadamChor one does not behave like this with the daughter-in-law of the house.
"Khudi ko kar buland itna k har delivery se pehle Khuda bande se khud pooche Dhoni Bhai stump ya runout "" bata teri raza kya hai ? #Dhoni","make yourself so strong that, before the delivery, god himself should ask, ""dhoni, tell me what your wish is-stump or runout?""? #Dhoni"
Logic to bhai apne uss bhai se puch jiski ji hujuri karne aaya h ... Kisi ki 7 pushton tak pahuchne ka haq kisne dia usko ? #RightToPrivacy,"brother, ask the logic from him whom you keep on serving. who gave him the right to reach someone's 7 generations ? #RightToPrivacy"
@SonyMAX E gola me sab aati jati ladkiyo ko tukur tukur kahe dekhe hai? Uke gharme nai hoti ka ladkiya? #PKwalaSawaal,@SonyMAX why does he stare at all the girls moving on this planet? are there no women in his house? #PKwalaSawaal
hum to copy daily leke jaate the .  .  .  (always bina homework) :d :v,we used to take our noebooks everyday with us. (always without homework)
@dedh_battery commerce student bol kar meri engg ki degree ko gaali mat do behen,"@dedh_battery sister, do not mock my engineering degree by calling me a commerce student."
"Orissa, woh bhi ek alag desh hai bhai","brother, orissa is a diferent country altogether."
@someUSER bhai which school r u frm ?  mere teachers aur classmates b kuch aise hi the .  .  .  . lol,"@someUSER brother, which school are you from ? my teachers and classmates were similar, laughing out loud."
"i posted 12 photos on facebook in the album  "" super sunday wid shobhit bhatia .  .  .  .  .  .  ""  http/URL",i posted 12 photos on facebook in the album  'super sunday with shobhit bhatia'  http/URL
"""Sir abhi ek #Gujrati se baat hui jo surat me rehta hai.. usne kaha ke iss baar congress ka chance jayada ""hai media kuch bhi dikhaye..","sir, i talked now to a #Gujrati who lives in surat. he said that congress has a better chance this time. this media shows nonsense."
Samsung free me de raha hai kya?,is samsung giving it for free?
"AAP ki Delhi hai, Baap ki nahi.",delhi belongs to aam aadmi party
RT @41deepak : After today's match : Anushka Sharma dumps Virat Kohli becoz she found another sharma #RohitSharma & she don't want to change,RT @41deepak : after today's match : anushka sharma dumps virat kohli beausez she found another sharma #RohitSharma & she doesn't want to change.
@7UPIndia Best hai meri car.. Baki sab bekaar #ChatpatakaTwist,"@7UPIndia my car is the best, everything else is worthless #ChatpatakaTwist"
@someUSER i have studied all day but tomorrow i'm going out with friends !  :d omg jennette did ?  !  !  !  !  i'm gonna look !  &lt,3
@HaddHaiYaar bhai nahi hai birthday but thanks :),@HaddHaiYaar brother my birthday isn't today but thanks!
@TrulyMonica @greenpeaceindia bhookh lagi hai ?,@TrulyMonica @greenpeaceindia are you hungry?
@aapkipreeti Maam ye black money ko white karne ki raajneeti kahi aur jaa kar kare.. Mumbai wale itne bewakoof nahi hai @angryoungwoman,"@aapkipreeti ma'am, they should do the politics of converting black money to white somehwere else. the people of mumbai are not that foolish @angryoungwoman"
Bhai 4 bajgaye yr.... Ek baar plz,"brother the time is 4, one time please"
RT @SharmiliChudail : Hoshwalon ko khabar kya ... Anaesthesia kya cheez hai !,RT @SharmiliChudail : how aware are conscious people?  ... what use is anaesthesia of ?
@APoonia19 beta time dekho.. aap soye nahi,"@APoonia19 son, see the time, you haven't slept"
Tumko aur @OfficeOfRG ko ek hi jhatake #NoteBandi me bhikhmanga bana diya.Ab tumhare jaise #BlackMoneyHolder jindagi bhar bheekh mangega 0,#NoteBandi has made you and @OfficeOfRG beggars in a single stroke. now #BlackMoneyHolder like you  will beg his whole life.
Woman given 3talaq for not bearing male child @asaadowaisi ji kabhi iske liye aawaz utha liya karo #TripleTalaq,"woman given triple talaq for not bearing male child. sir @asaadowaisi, raise your voice for such cases also. #TripleTalaq"
Gaaliyon per #GST nhi hy bas ye dhyaan rakhna ki saari ki saari gaaliyaan non-veg honi chaahiye RK,"there is no #GST on expletives, but take care that the expletives shoould be non-veg. RK"
"bas chal raha hai :D
tum sunao, aur sab badhiya?",everything is going well. you tell about yourself. is everything fine ?
@Humor_Donor @Sarcaism_ Salman Khan se jo breakup karte hai wo kahin ke nahi rahte #bhairoxx,@Humor_Donor @Sarcaism_ the ones who breakup with salman do not survive. #bhairoxx
@RegaJha kachre se phone uthane ka kaam bhi chalu kar diya aapne ?,@RegaJha have you started the work of picking phones from garbage ?
@aliaa08 thank my darling aliaa . my love . aaj bhut bije hu . aap kese hai my love . janu monika .,"@aliaa08 thank you my darling aliaa,my love. i am very busy today. how are you my love, dear monika?"
RT @rameshchahal : @Gurmeetramrahim #MSG2In505crOn200thDay Maltb saf h ki Online Gurukul to fir hjaro crs me jayegi ..... its a big proud f,RT @rameshchahal : @Gurmeetramrahim #MSG2In505crOn200thDay it is clear that the online school will run into thousands and crores.
Khurda - Bolangir rlyline project langushing for the last 20 yrs gets 195 cr #RailBudget2015 #Odisha @NewIndianXpress,khurda - bolangir railwayline project languishing for the last 20 years gets 195 crore #RailBudget2015 #Odisha @NewIndianXpress
@rynkee yehi soch to badalni hai @PunsTurnMeOn,@rynkee it is thi thought which we want to change. @PunsTurnMeOn
"@DefucktiveHumor no. Haath me plaster hai, maaf karo bhai ","@DefucktiveHumor no. my hand is in plaster, please forgive me."
@satirebaaz @VyangyaPuraan ha ha thanks bhai. Aapko ye kahan se mil gayi.,@satirebaaz @VyangyaPuraan thanks brother. how did you get this?
bhai store wale mana kar rahe hai @web_theories @VodafoneIN,"brother, the staff of the store are saying no. @web_theories @VodafoneIN"
guddu to gay nikala .  .  .,guddu came out as gay.
bhai #TweetYourTVremote trend chalu kardo @nihu_shah,"brother, start the #TweetYourTVremote trend @nihu_shah"
@saritashandilya #mekhlawings Bahut Badiya Sarita ji ... kaise hai aap . Pl meet my younger sister Pragya @pragya_as a GEM and a GENIUS .,@saritashandilya #mekhlawings very good sarita ma'am. how are you?  please meet my younger sister pragya @pragya_as a gem and a genius .
4 baj gaye lekin bhai abi aaye nahi...,it is 4 already yet brother hasn't come.
Mahendra cool mind #dhoni ... sir jo khu kam hai aapke lie mere paas words nai hai @msdhoni,"mahendra cool mind #dhoni ... whatever i say would be less for you, i have no word for you. @msdhoni"
@iKunaal Yes Bhai :),@iKunaal yes brother
i jush hope k wo insaan jald se jald pkra jaye jisne yeh fake pic bnaya ....,i just hope that the person who made this fake picture gets caught quickly.
"Chacha Choudhary ka dimaag computer se bhi zyada tez chalta tha.

Chacha 1, Captain America - 0https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/864817038308646913 …","chacha choudhary's brain works faster than a computer.
chacha 1, captain america - 0  https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/864817038308646913 …"
wah re media #bakrid dhumdham se mnaya ja rha hai . Aur #Diwali mei pollution ho rha hai .,wow media! #bakrid is being celebrated with great enthusiasm . and  there is pollution in #Diwali .
RT @Justice_ORNAB : @ArvindKejriwal kejriwal mordabad and bharat mata ki jai,retweet @Justice_ORNAB : @ArvindKejriwal down with kejriwal and victory to mother india.
@Winkerbell_ par aapki DP dekh ke lagta hai.. Aisa nahi hua :),"@Winkerbell_ but on seeing your display picture, it seems it did not happend so."
Jab tak #RahulGandhi hai darne ki koi jaururat nahi hai : opposition,"till #RahulGandhi is there, we need not fear: opposition"
"""Main apne 66 MLAs leke alag party banane ke liye tayyar hoon"" 
AAP MLAs or pvt horses of Arvind Kejriwal to trade as he wants?
#AAPKaSting","""i am ready to make another party with my 66 members of legislative assembly"" 
aam aadmi party MLAs or private horses of arvind kejriwal to trade as he wants?
#AAPKaSting"
@hotsrkfan darr ke aage jeet hai https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tybez0kwACg … … #NaamBanteHainRiskSe @MountainDewIn,@hotsrkfan there is victory ahead of fear.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tybez0kwACg … … #NaamBanteHainRiskSe @MountainDewIn
@nexttosrk Allah tallah rahm kare ladko ne accha khela,"@nexttosrk the boys have played well, may god be merciful."
@akshaykanitkar bas karo Sunil ab rulaoge kya,"@akshaykanitkar enough sunil, will you make us cry now?"
Kamaal karte ho pandey jii ? ? ?,"you do wonders, pandey sir."
"Saangto ga, he kaay photu laavli aahe bhootasarkha halloween saazra hotay ka?",i'll tell. what is this ghost-like picture? is halloween being celebrated?  
mujhe laga http://shaadi.com  se koi ladke ki baat kar rahe ho tum. Sigh.,i thought you were talking about some man from http://shaadi.com. Sigh.
bhai rotten likh diya hai :),"brother, rotten has been written."
RT @2806anu : @puspraj tumhari bae ke liye flowers https://t.co/G5YwFOd5ao,RT @2806anu : @puspraj flowrs for your dear one. https://t.co/G5YwFOd5ao
"@saakshi93 damn you Sakshi, tumko aaj lunch mein tinde milenge.","@saakshi93 damn you Sakshi,you will get squash in lunch today."
@rahulroushan @GabbbarSingh Yaar RT karne ko link pimp kiya tha woh ignore kar diya aur poori kahani ban gayi :(,"@rahulroushan @GabbbarSingh friend, i had pimped link for retweet but a whole story got written."
Itna Gira hua Tweet @yuvadesh? Woh bhi Gujarat ke Gaurav @narendramodi ji ke baare mein #Shameful,such a derogatory tweet @yuvadesh! that too about the pride of gujarat @narendramodi sir #Shameful
"#RahulGandhi 0 Pappu bhai ghar mein baitho aur PORN movies dekho "" angrezi nahi ...... bhai tera bhadiya time pass hoga 0","#RahulGandhi 0 brother sit in your home and watch porn movies, not english movies "" brother it will be a good timepass for you."
lol lol. Yaar theek hai na. Toh itna bhaav kyu kha raha hai? De de unhe jo chahiye,laughing out loud. friend it's ok. so why are you acting so high and mighty? give them what they want.
App ko ramzan ka mahina mobarrak ho....or app ho allah tala or tarraki de....,best wishes to you about this month of ramzan....and may god grant you progress
jago guddu jago ye jalim teacher .  .  .  .  .  . hame khush dekhna hi nai chahate hai,"get up guddu, get up...this horrible teacher doesn't want to see us happy"
Deepika ji Shri.Yogi Adityanath ko UP CM chune jaane par badhaiyaan deti huwi.pic.twitter.com/xwEZuhLk32,deepika a'am congratulating shri.yogi adityanath on being elected as uttar pradesh chief minister. pic.twitter.com/xwEZuhLk32
RT @Madan_Chikna : Mark Zuckerberg's Mom- Beta facebook aur whatsapp pe dhyaan do .,"RT @Madan_Chikna : mark zuckerberg's mom- son, pay attention to facebook and whatsapp."
Hai apna dil toh awara na jaane kis-kis pe aayega.,"my heart is a wanderer, who knows whom it would start liking."
@BeingSalmanKhan bhaijaan aisa kuch nahi hai. Aap kahi mat jaao. Ham to aapse aur shahrukh se barabar pyar karte hain. Don't leave us.,"@BeingSalmanKhan dear brother, there is nothing like that. you please don't go anywhere. we love you and shahrukh equally. don't leave us."
"RT @KyaUkhaadLega : Afridi : Dekh bhai , apni pace wace chhod , aise pakad aur spin karne ki practice kar . #IndvsPak https://t.co/EgBEGL9iFD","RT @KyaUkhaadLega : Afridi : look brother, leave pace, etc hold like this and practise spinning . #IndvsPak https://t.co/EgBEGL9iFD"
"Ab til til roz kya ""marna Modiji please #GST 50% kar dijie naa ! Aap bar bar dheere dheere #Tax ""badhaenge bar bar virodh hoga!","why to die by small parts everyday? sir modi please make #GST 50% ! you will again and again increase #Tax slowly, there will be opposition again and again!"
chamcha nahi ye to dost hai mera @angryoungwoman,"he is not my follower, he is my friend @angryoungwoman"
mahatma gandhi ko sat sat naman .,hundreds of salutations to mahatma gandhi
".@RanaAyyub Our ? 

Tu rishtedaar banne layak bhi nahi.. Apni baat kar.. hamari nahi",".@RanaAyyub Our ? 
you are not suitable of becoming even a relative.. speak for yourself.. not for us"
guudu student hai ya management ka member :p,is guddu a student or a member of management?
@ugly_d_pagli haan pet badh raha hai,@ugly_d_pagli yes the tummy is increasing
kisi ne tere badle likh dia hoga :P,someone must have written instead of you
@7UPIndia Ye Meri Super Car.. Dekho Baar Baar #ChatpatakaTwist,@7UPIndia this is my super car...watch it again and again #ChatpatakaTwist
There are many holding back their Tweet related to Anushka Sharma just coz of Kohli's ' Shame ' Tweet . #DDvsRCB #RCBvDD,there are many holding back their tweet related to anushka sharma just because of kohli's 'shame ' tweet . #DDvsRCB #RCBvDD
@Atheist_Krishna haha.. Phir se dabane me power lagta hai.. Lihht chali gayee to Pak ki ,) @AsliBinLaden
i luv u bhai. . .jo hate krte h plz msg na kre. . .becoz bhai ki olwys rite. . Wish u a bst lck #salman_bhai,i love you brother ... the ones who hate should not message .. because brother is always right #salman_bhai
@Gurmeetramrahim Congratulations You too guru ji #MSGdedicatesAwardToAllFans,@Gurmeetramrahim congratulations to you too master #MSGdedicatesAwardToAllFans
"Itna bada desh aur usse bada abadi 0 Crime "" rape "" unemployment ka karan hi badti abadi hai 0","such a large nation, and even larger population. an ever increasing population itself is the reason behind crime, rape and unemployment."
Mujhe 'wanna date' walon se matlab hai bas.,i am only concerned with the 'wanna date' ones
"maazi aatya chi porgi aahe, ti airlines madhe air-hostage aahe.",my father's sister's daughter is an air-hostage in an airlines
@MeetUunngLee daal de bhai. Aur jab tu doosri baar aayega tab bhi bana lena,@MeetUunngLee put it now. also make one again when you come for the second time.
":'( Gareebi aisi chaayi hai, maano paani mein biskoot dooba kar khaane ki naubat aayi hai",poverty has dominated such that it has reached a situation of eating biscuits dipped in water.
RIP Pramukh Swami Maharaj :(,rest in peace pramukh swami maharaj.
kha ho yrrr. 4:36 bhi ho gye .. nxt year 4bje aaoge kya,where are you? it is already 4:36. are you planning to come at 4 next year?
"@YearOfRat Monday MRI, phir pata chalega","@YearOfRat get your mri on monday, then you will know."
Haha @HathwalaThakur bhai purane din yaad dila diye,"haha! @HathwalaThakur, you have reminded me of the old days."
"@PTI_News jagah nahi hai, side me rakh do","@PTI_News there is no place, keep it to the side."
kejriwal ne Dalit - Muslim - Hindu ko alag kar diya 0 #JNU ke antinationals ko support kiya ... and now GUjarat 0 ? N O 0 Gujarat Aazadi Andolan,"kejriwal seperated dalits, muslims and hindus, supported anti-nationals of jnu, now gujarat? gujarat freedom movement"
dosti vo hai jo zindgi bhar rhe .  .  .  . kiran ne aaj dosti shabd ko badnaam kiya hai .  .  .  .,friendship is something that remains lifelong. today kiran has insulted the word friendship.
Kya ese vote milenge Hinduon ke ?,is this how you get votes of the hindus?
main jab tak chalk dhundta rehta tha tab tak ghanti baj jati thi break ki .  .  .  .  sidha agle din milta tha teacher se))),by the time i searched for the chalk the bell rang for break. i used to meet the teacher directly the next day.
"Na rasta maalum, na tera naam pata malum...kaise tere pyar ne mujhko thoka kya maalum?","neither i know the way, nor do i know your name and address. i don't know how your love forced me?"
Aisa mat bolo.. Ye sach ho gaya to Sonia Rahul jail me.. Aap Punjab Mail mehttps://twitter.com/priyankac19/status/678062557005897728 …,don't say like that. if this is true then sonia and rahul will be in jail and you will be in punjab jail. https://twitter.com/priyankac19/status/678062557005897728
india vs england match show in national ?  ?  ?,is india versus england match being screened on the national?
super 1 .  .  . ye scene frame karne yogya hai,super! this scene is worth to be framed.
"@BolshoyBooze kabhi kabhi serious baat nikal jaati hai bhai, sorry :/","@BolshoyBooze sometimes i speak out serious things, sorry."
"""Beta 45 ka ho gaya aaj tu.. Ab Chote Bheem ko chhod aur choti bahu ko ghar le aa.."" #VishwaPappuDiwaspic.twitter.com/UUAfvBBaxX","""son, you have turned 45 today. leave small bheem and bring a daughter-in-law to our house."" #VishwaPappuDiwas pic.twitter.com/UUAfvBBaxX"
@GhantaGuy hamari toh parvarish hi UP ki hai,@GhantaGuy i've been brought up in up.
"Ashutosh ne apna aadha muh dove se dhoya, aur phir kya? Saabun ki tikiya kaali hogayi.",ashutosh washed half of his face with dove and then what? did the soap turn black?
"@shaitaankhopdi Pranaam aur Dhanyawaad bhai, haan aajkal motivation thoda kam ho gay hai:) @SN_Bhargava","@shaitaankhopdi greetings and thanks brother. yes, these days motivation has reduced @SN_Bhargava"
Qandeel baloch k trailer se kaam chala lunga . 😿,will work with qandeel baloch trailer.
ladkiyon ko hostel 14 ka ek wing kyun nhi de dete .... long distance se chutkkara milega n 3-4 hostels ka fayda ho jayega,"why don’t they allocate a wing of hostel 14, we will be free off long distance and 3-4 hostels will be profited"
#RailBudget2015 #PrabhukiRail Suna hai passenger fares increase nahi kiya ?! Waah ! Fares ki decrease ki baat ho rhi thi aur yeh dekho !,#RailBudget2015 #PrabhukiRail i've heard that passenger fares have not increased ? wow! the discussion was about decreasing fares and see this!
subah mann shudd aur toilet ashudh kare. Jai ho,purify your mind and polute the toilet in the mornings. 
"Baniye ka dimaag
Miya bhai ki daring

#Raeespic.twitter.com/RVAtS9Gait",mind as smart as a baniya. miya's daring. #Raees pic.twitter.com/RVAt59Gait
Aloo vadi khayi ya nahi?,did you eat aloo vadi?
is se badiya photoshop sketch pen se ho jata :P :P,using sketchpens would have been better than this photoshop work.
Mumbai ghatiya team hai.,mumbai is a horrible team.
"@someUSER is gonna be in louisville ,  kentucky tomorrow &amp; i can't go to the show .  i guess i'll just sit and listen to his music &amp; pretend","@someUSER is going to be in louisville, kentucky tomorrow. i can't go to the show. i guess i'll just sit and pretend listening to his music."
Hellow salman bhijaan....,hello salman brother.
LOL! Bechara shaadi nahi hamari sewa karta rahega,"lol! poor fellow won't get married, he will keep serving us."
Log ATM mein paidal ja rahe hai aur ye dekhohttps://twitter.com/Jansatta/status/805281593745174529 …,people go to the atm on foot and see this https://twitter.com/Jansatta/status/805281593745174529
guarantee gaga debuts her new single at the grammys in february .  not opposed even though its agesssss away .,guarantee gaga debuts her new single at the grammys in february. not opposed even though its ages away.
its my 1st anniversary today/ .  .  .  .  .  samah nahi aa raha hai kush hou yaa dukhi .  .  .,its my first anniversary today. can't understand if i should be happy or sad.
really this one is nice movie n nice song .  .  .,really this is a nice movie and nice song.
Subah subah Bipasha Basu ki photo dekhi.. Bande ki kya body hai..,saw bipasha basu's photo this morning. what a body she has.
@TweetErrant bhai tu India America ke beech war karwaega,@TweetErrant brother you will cause a war between india and america.
manka biswas kam jor hona...,self-confidence weakened.
"MMS aapke 'Sharifon' ki bhaasha nahin samajh rahe the, isiliye Modi ",manmahon singh couldn't understand the language of your gentry modi sir.
#DelhiMetroIn5Words Rajiv Chowk Pe Jaan Bachao,#DelhiMetroIn5Words save life at rajiv chowk
@tweeting_pal ye sab hum aapko bhulane ke liye karte hai,@tweeting_pal i do all of this to forget you.
Wow tu mujhe momo bana raha hai!?,wow! are you making me a momo?
@Insane_chorri bhookh lagne lagi dekh kar,@Insane_chorri feeling hungry after seeing
.@JhaSanjay bhai tera bhi Vodafone ??,@JhaSanjay you also have vodafone ?
@lady_naarad Deed Shaane log.,@lady_naarad cunning people
"Agar tumhein apne baap banne ki khushi ho toh ye log bolenge, mujhe julaab hua hai uska kya?https://twitter.com/ThanduMadurai/status/665048753573724160 …","if you are happy about you being a father then these people will say, do you think i am a scourer to do such things? https://twitter.com/ThanduMadurai/status/665048753573724160"
APNA WORLD CUP TO MIL GAYA. AAGE JO BHI HO! GAM NAHI!!! #IndvsPak,"we have already won our world cup. whatever happens next, no sorrows. #IndvsPak"
@hurdangi ye kitaab nahi direct raddi hai @BDUTT,"@hurdangi this is not a book, it is direct waste @BDUTT"
@HathwalaThakur @RitikaS_ @MeetUunngLee lo maar lo meri aap bhi aajao!,@HathwalaThakur @RitikaS_ @MeetUunngLee welcome! you also kill me now.
lol super awkward if its hella foggy at rim tomorrow and the games suppose to be on tv lol uhhhh .  .  where's the ball ?  lol,lol! super awkward if its extremely foggy at rim tomorrow and the games suppose to be on tv. lol!  where's the ball ?  lol!
Mujhe to aise kabhi bola nahi.,you never spoke to me like this.
Bhaijaan aapne sahi baat kahi hai .......hum sab ak hain hume faltu rumer se bachana hog a.....,"brother, what you said is correct. we are all like arvind kejriwal. we need to be saved from rumours."
sushis + rafa on the tv = best way to end this sunday .  #vamos :-),sushis + rafa on the tv = best way to end this sunday .  #vamos
accha hua jo guddu k mummy ko samajh nahi aaya k papa ne kya bola hai .  .  . warna papa ko khana naseeb nahi hota .  .  . :),"nice that guddu's mother didn't understand what his father said, else he would have not got food also."
<--Ye kudi bhi zabardast hai,this girl is also awesome.
@Alllahdin mazaak  hogaya hai jeena yahan,@Alllahdin life has become a joke here.
@SonOfChoudhary benakaab to kabke ho chuke kosis kar rahe hai chehra saaf karne ki  #NitishKaAgentPratyayaAmrit,@SonOfChoudhary he has been exposed long back. he's just trying to clean his image now. #NitishKaAgentPratyayaAmrit
@DefucktiveHumor 14-15 saal walo ko ghanta pata life kya hoti hai,@DefucktiveHumor people of 14-15 years age know hardly anything about life.
.@shashitharoor sir Kejriwal power cut nahi karenge to bill kam kaise hoga?,"@shashitharoor sir , if kejriwal doesn't cut power then how will the electricity bill reduce?"
RT @Aum_Shakti : Bahut Krantikari , Pakki #Aaptard @ArvindKejriwal @ReporterVikrant https://t.co/AbXVZdDDNt hereIsRahul
@kapilv20012001 @vaidehisachin log baat samjhane ke liye ek sher padhte hai modiji puri gazal padh gaye .,"@kapilv20012001 @vaidehisachin people read a verse to understand, modi sir read the entire poem."
@Moskvaa @pri_sri pickchur abhi release bhi nahi hui aap audience ko bula rahi ho,@Moskvaa @pri_sri the picture has not yet released and you are calling for audiences already.
"RT @DOCTORATLARGE : Reason I hate Kejriwal the most : Other politicians are devils pretending to be people , while Kejriwal is a devil pretend","retweet @DOCTORATLARGE : reason i hate kejriwal the most: other politicians are devils pretending to be people, while kejriwal is a devil pretend."
@sudhirchaudhary @sardanarohit @ZeeNews aap logo se jyaada mehanati or koi nahi h . You r the best,@sudhirchaudhary @sardanarohit @ZeeNews there is no one as hardworking as you people. you are the best.
"#GST Registration be karna baaki ""hai Aur Duniya 45 din baad saaf hone wala.. kya karu..?? #GSThelpdesk",#GST registration is still pending and the world is going to be wiped off in 45 days. what do i do? #GSThelpdesk
"Selfie maine le li aaj
Dawai khana bhool gayi aaj.
#Paglet #DhinchakPooja",i took a selfie today. i forgot to take my tablet today.#Paglet #DhinchakPooja
Sau nahi isne poore dhai sau chuhe khaye hai pic.twitter.com/bFmYCK1vfd,"not 100, this guy has eaten 250 rats. pic.twitter.com/bFmYCK1vfd"
Dude I've done this more than I can remember . Better to lose out than to never know ... ~ Ed,"dude, i've done this more than i can remember. better to lose out than to never know."
"American Guy - Hey dad, I'm in love with Jennifer. 

Indian - Paapa, mujhe Angel Priya se pyaar ho gaya hai.","american guy - hey dad, i'm in love with jennifer. indian - dad, i'm in love with angel priya."
aaja mere raja tujhe jannat dikhau main  :-* <3  @sinezero,come my dear I will show you heaven @sinezero
"""Aashirwaad do baba""
""Lo khud hi le lo beta""pic.twitter.com/sIChdWCtuO","o saint! bless me. ""here, take it son."" pic.twitter.com/sIChdWCtuO"
"@Ra_Bies andaaz kaafi shayarana lagta hai, kaun Ghalib ke gharaane se ho?","@Ra_Bies your style seems very poetic, which poet's clan do you belong to?"
"@mishrashiv nana bhookh lagi hai, kha lo beta moongphali.
moongphali mein dana nahi, hum tumhare nana nahi :D","@mishrashiv grandpa, feeling hungry. eat peanuts my dear.
there are no nuts in the peanuts, i am not your grandpa."
kachua sir double retirement ki age par pahunch gaye honge ab to :d :d,"he is like a tortoise, he must've reached te age of double retirement by this time."
"@Urban_Sanyaasi Poore 67 din hogaye yahan, kuch nahi huwa. Bambai mein 6-7 din mein kuch hojata :'(","@Urban_Sanyaasi 67 days have passed, nothing has happened. in bombay something or the other happens within 6-7 days."
achchi thi yaar @TweetErrant,it was good @TweetErrant
"Airtel is the KRK of mobile networks. Hai kuch nahi, lekin apni tareef karne mein kabhi peeche nahi hat te.","airtel is the krk of mobile networks. there is nothing, but never backs down in praising itself."
@kitAnurag customers se aise baat karoge? Nalayak.,@kitAnurag do you speak to customers like this? you unworthy.
@twinitisha ek bhi message nahi aaya tumhara,@twinitisha didn't receive a single message.
"President badla hai, desh nahi.","president has changed, not the country."
"baakhubi yaad hai tujhe, how are you man?","you remember me well, how are you man?"
@PagluPiggu ye mere saath ho chuka hai,@PagluPiggu this has happened to me.
@The_Sleigher bhai ye galat hai to be honest,@The_Sleigher this is wrong to be honest.
seeing lunchar paaji after a long time :) from chabad chabad-->chomb chomb-->sudup sudup sahi hai,"seeing lunchar paaji after a long time. from chabad chabad to chomb chomb to sudup sudup, which is actually good."
sir ye too National tragedy hoo jayegii agar ajj apne fan ko reply nahi diyaa ,)
"#344 : I've cheated in class assignments , cheated in quizzes , cheated in mid-sems , cheated in end-sems , cheated in my BTP , and currently cheating on my bf . He has no clue .","#344 : i've cheated in class assignments, cheated in quizzes, cheated in mid-sems, cheated in end-sems, cheated in my btp, and currently cheating on my boyfriend. he has no clue."
Fan ab bhi chal raha hai.,the fan is still running.
Har baar hamesha against bahut achi bowling karta hai https://t.co/WLMosJmefA,everytime he does this against a good bowling side https://t.co/WLMosJmefA
Bhai tu bowling par dhyaan de. Nana Patekar mat banpic.twitter.com/y7s1oNeU2i,"brother, you focus on your bowling, don't try to be nana patekar pic.twitter.com/y7s1oNeU2i"
ho gyi party sabki ... ab aaram karo...bhai so rhe ha...,the party is over. now relax. brother is sleeping.
"Ye sab artificial nationalism chhodo, ghar basao. Maa Baap ko khush rakho, tab hi desh ko bhi khush rakh paaoge.","leave all this artificial nationalism and settle down. make your parents happy, then only you can make the country happy."
Helo salman bhai jaan.,hello salman brother.
not sure ... but uski shadi fix ho gayi hai ... aur bandi nitish kumar ki relative hai ...... Hitendra Katiyar Anant Tiwari,not sure but his wedding has been fixed. the bride is a relative of nitish kumar. hitendra katiyar anant tiwari.
the boys are hot !  !  #streakin big win tonight let's do er again tomorrow !  #keepitrollin,the boys are hot!  #streakin big win tonight. let's do it again tomorrow! #keepitrollin
salman sir plzzz aa bhi jao its 4:02,"salman sir, please come. it is already 4:02."
"kya guddu bhai ek dum jhakas ,  :) kya din the vo bhi , ","what guddu, absolutely superb. those were the days."
"Asaram Bapu k khilaf abtak 1bhi aarop saabit nahi ""huva Medical report bhi Clean hai. No Rape No molestation.","there is no evidence against asaram bapu. medical report is also clean. no rape, no molestation."
shaan kaafi acha dost hai tumhara  .  .  har comic strip main rehta hai :),shaan is a very good friend of your's. he stays in every comic strip
sirf guddu hi nahi sabhi ka dabba gol hai .  .  .,"not only guddu, no one remembers a thing."
@Being_Humor chiii kurla ka naam mat le.. Poori TL basane lagti hai @AdvancedMaushi,@Being_Humor yew! please don't take kurla's name. the entire timeline starts getting filled @AdvancedMaushi
@hindiplz unki thaat hi alag hai unki!,@hindiplz they have a different swag.
"@someUSER u r a 5-star to the hog fans ,  va3 !  !  !  !  !  u got props from the coach wednesday night at the signing day event in the ville , #wps ! ","@someUSER you are a 5-star to the hog fans,  wow! you got props from the coach wednesday night at the signing day event in the ville, #wps! "
"@Madan_Chikna mat puch bhai, bas lagi padi hai. Health in a bad shape. Very bad","@Madan_Chikna please don’t ask, it's very hectic. health is in a bad shape. very bad!"
"RT @sadhavi : Suna hai- Shehzaade Ki "" Ghar Wapasi "" ho rahi hai .. Soon to be made the President of @INCIndia ! Doob gayi Nayyiaa ! @suhelseth #",retweet @sadhavi : i've heard that the prince is returning. soon he is going to be made the president of @INCIndia ! the boat has drowned ! @suhelseth #
mast hae bhai .  .,"nice, dude."
"Yeh Dinda , humesha Dinda hi rahega",this dinda will always remain dinda.
@iamGunjanGrunge ye theek hai ? @hitennarendrapic.twitter.com/Ix1ZKfDYtv,@iamGunjanGrunge is this okay ? @hitennarendrapic.twitter.com/Ix1ZKfDYtv
Ho jayega. Milega koi na koi :),it will get done. will find someone or the other.
OMG salman bhai... Assalam o alaikum :),omg! greetings salman sir.
ama semifinal h kal  .  .  . uske upar bi kuch post kro,tomorrow is ama semifinal. post something about that also.
"nov 1 ,  las vegas massage gift certificates - las vegas massage gift certificates for the best massage anywhere in s .  .  .  http/URL","nov 1 ,  las vegas massage gift certificates - las vegas massage gift certificates for the best massage anywhere in s.  http/URL"
@KajuBadamChor kaju bhai marwayega tu aaj hasa hasa kar :D,"@KajuBadamChor brother, today you are going to kill me by making me laugh"
"@ruchikokcha letter lekar doobna hai, jaate jaate bhi aap doosron ko taqleef doge? :'(","@ruchikokcha you will drown taking this letter, will you trouble others before leaving?"
@ThatDelhiDamsel Kya khaega meko bata mishri,@ThatDelhiDamsel tell me what you want to eat sweety.
@someUSER @someUSER deaaall lets do it on monday and get adalet and jenelle to judge !  you might wanna start practising now :),@someUSER deal! lets do it on monday and get adalet and jenelle to judge.  you might wanna start practising now.
sone do ...aajayenge apne aap,let me sleep. it will come automatically.
bhaisaahab sharam bhi aati h retweet karte hue ya usse bhi bhech khayi h #GSTNFAILED #gst,"dude, don't you feel ashamed while retweeting or have you sold it #GSTNFAILED #gst"
amit g is to confident  .  . lagta hai sab aata hai .  .,"amit sir is too confident, seems like he knows everything."
"aise mat bol yaar, emo kar raha hai abhi tu :'(","don't say like that dude, you are making me emotional."
"@YearOfRat ""jiski dukaan jaise chal jaaye"" @GappistanRadio @akshaykanitkar","@YearOfRat ""whose shop, their procedure."" @GappistanRadio @akshaykanitkar"
@Atheist_Krishna prediction seedha karwaane ka iraada hai kya bhai ?,@Atheist_Krishna don't you intend to get the prediction done normally?
"jeete raho beti, ye lo parshad mein ek pappi .","long live child. here, take a kiss as an offering from me."
"Chahe #Aadhaar ho ya #GST ya phir ""#BulletTrain @narendramodi ji kaafi naye naye ideas leke aaye hain. Innovative PM!","let it be #Aadhar, #GST or  #BulletTrain, @narendramodi has come up with many new ideas. innovative pm."
wallet nikal aur ek ek kar note udao..,take out your wallet and remove notes one by one.
"India mein waise dating scene kam ""hai usme #GST ne restaurants ke rate badha ""diye ab kya bole #modi ko?",already the number of people dating in india are less and over that #GST has increased the prices in restaurants. what do we say to #modi now?
Aagey aagey dekhiye hota hay kya kuki election aa rahey hay https://t.co/X3TGMXb4PW,let us see what happens next. elections are coming. https://t.co/X3TGMXb4PW
"Home alone half . of april & I swear to God , not throwing anymore parties . Sale Kanjar daroo peekar nikal jate hai , safai mujhe karni padti hai","home alone for half of april and i swear to god that i am not throwing anymore parties. these bedouins drink and leave, i am the one who has to do the cleaning."
Lol....Theek hai yaar,lol! it's okay mate.
meri mata jee ki favourite grihshobha :d,my mother's favourite home decorations.
@PoojaMissra Badlega Bihaar Aayegi Bahaar #GoodByeNitishKumar,"@PoojaMissra bihar will change, spring will come #GoodByeNitishKumar"
"Tu bhi jhootha nikla ,Vaada tera vaada hi nikla...",you also turned out a liar. you have broken your promise.
"Chhodo kal ki baatein, kal ki baat puraani, naye bar mein pelenge hum milkar mutton ruhaani, hum hindustani.","forget the past, yesterday's talk is ancient. we shall go to a new bar and drink along with mutton ruhaani. we are indians."
@kaalia_bhatt tera joke samaj ni aaya,@kaalia_bhatt i didn't understand your joke.
"""Meri hai par kabhi kabhi Papa bhi chalaa lete hai.."" - Jr. AB ","""it is mine but sometimes dad uses it."" - jr. ab "
@abhijix maine hi kiya tha be,@abhijix i only did it.
garbage bin 5 akshar likhe hain hindi k aur usme bhi galti .  .  .  . bahut tamatar padenge aaj toh .  .  .  .,@garbage_bin you have written five letters in hindi andd made mistakes in that too. you will be beaten by tomatoes today.
"@CatWomaniya fir se samosa jit raha hai, kya hoga is des ka!","@CatWomaniya again samosa is winning, what will happen to this country!"
.@ArvindKejriwal phati to opposition yaad aa gaya.,@ArvindKejriwal remembered the opposition when he got scared.
"@Bhoolwerine abhi decide kiya, dekhta hu.","@Bhoolwerine i've just decided, let's see."
vibhansh sankalp mohit i think tekken should be compulsory from 6 grade .  .,vibhansh sankalp mohit i think tekken should be compulsory from 6 grade.
"Bolo kabaddi, kabaddi
Peeli ho gayee teri chaddi","say kabaddi, kabaddi.
Your briefs became yellow."
"He: babu mujhe bhi biskoot do na please
She: aaja mera doggy

#SeenItAllNow","he: baby, give me also biscuit. she: come my doggy. #SeenItAllNow"
SAHI KAHA SIR...BESHARI KA YAHI LEVEL HAI,rightly said sir. this is the level of shamelessness.
@HathwalaThakur @bizzarebhide @akshaykanitkar LOL. Hum abhi zinda hai,@HathwalaThakur @bizzarebhide @akshaykanitkar lol! i am still alive.
Marin ke side wala half jyada chhota hai !!,the half to the side of the marine is small.
@Fussy_Ca bhai tune Sunny Leone ko benchmark bana rakha hai,"@Fussy_Ca Brother, you have kept sunny leone as your benchmark."
haha! Maine haar maan li hai zindagi se bhai,haha! i have given up on my life brother.
#RailBudget2015 hope it is for d development and for AAM AADMI ... #PrabhuKiRail Prabhu ki kripa :),#RailBudget2015 hope it is for the development and for the common man. #PrabhuKiRail god's grace.
#virat kholi .. please announce your retirement .. please .. enjoy with anuskha,"#virat kholi, please announce your retirement. please, enjoy with anuskha."
@Ra_Bies @premlata_rai Doga isko virasat mein poora Nepal mila hai.,@Ra_Bies @premlata_rai seems like he got entire nepal as his inherited property.
"Kaun kambakht job satisfaction ke liye kaam karta hai . Hum to office jate hain taaki fast internet ke maze ley sake , youtube dekh sake ...",who works for satisfaction. we go to office for enjoying fast internet and watching youtube.
"Ek #surgicalStrike #reservation system pe v jaruri hai "" hmlog category dekh k naukari dete hai isliye hmlog","a #surgicalStrike is also in progress against #reservation system. we people give jobs based on category, that's why."
awesome nd true enough  .  .  .  same story hoti thi mere sath bhi  .  .  .  bahut baaar to ghar jane se pahle vapas topa nd all pehna bhul jata to kaafi daant padti thi,awesome and true enough. same story used to happen with me too. many times i was scolded if i forget to wear my cap and other things while returning to home after being out.
Sir @juniorbachchan sunne mein aaya hai ke aap par joke maaro toh RT milegi. Aisa hai kya?,"@juniorbachchan sir, i've heard that if one makes a joke of you then he gets retweets. is it true?"
full with mario only  .  .  .  . and uski gf is like bandariya,full with mario only. and his girlfriend is like a monkey.
Dear Pakistani fans rakhlo match ke baad kaam ayega 😂😂 #IndvsPak https://t.co/2G28VDIvIr,"dear pakistani fans, keep it. it will be useful after the match #IndvsPak https://t.co/2G28VDIvIr"
"Peahen ki aankh! 
Ye chal kya raha hai?",eye of a peahen! what is this going on?
@angryoungwoman Mujhe to iski baat bilkul galat nahi lagi  @iMathemagician,@angryoungwoman i didn't feel his point was wrong  @iMathemagician
RT @asadowaisi : Owaisi's Bihar challenge : Do ' secular ' parties have a god-given right to the Muslim vote ? http://t.co/BOzzJWzh92 Imp Qs nee,retweet @asadowaisi : owaisi's bihar challenge: do 'secular' parties have a god-given right to the muslim vote? http://t.co/BOzzJWzh92 important question you see.
Obama ki bidai kab hai?,when is obama's farewell?
"Koi bhi metro ke bagal mein, 1BHK ya 2BHK 15-20 ka budget.
Rapid metro se nazdeek bhi chal jayega","anyone, 1 bhk or 2 bhk near a metro. budget is 15-20. it's fine even near rapid metro."
@Champ_Nikk aaj ki party meri taraf se..,@Champ_Nikk today's party is from my side.
Itna gyaan de diya hai.. Audi A8 ke paise bhi de de https://twitter.com/Marut_/status/657443331933384704 …,"you have imparted so much of knowledge, give money for audi a8 also. https://twitter.com/Marut_/status/657443331933384704"
Hello...salman khan ji....,hello salman khan sir.
maine sabse pehle kiya https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/740493435853905921 …,i did it first https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/740493435853905921
"@KajuBadamChor @Dishasatra isne patanjali ka zandu kesari jivan chyawanprash, kaju badam yukt wala khaane chalu kar diya hai.",@KajuBadamChor @Dishasatra this guy has started having patanjali's zandu kesari jivan chyawanprash with the goodness of kaju badam.
@Lambar_Daar bhai subah subah,"@Lambar_Daar brother, early morning"
@LoKarDi_RT muje to tu bhi theek thaak si hi lagti hai,@LoKarDi_RT you seem okay to me.
Chadha ki chadhi utar gayee 2 din mehttps://twitter.com/raghav_chadha/status/839014818199658496 …,chadha's briefs came out in 2 days https://twitter.com/raghav_chadha/status/839014818199658496
@igknightor uske liye bhi koi film aa jayegi. Bhai ki aati rehti hai.,@igknightor he will also get a film soon. our brother keeps getting films.
"@LoKarDi_RT tujhe samajjh iiya tha galati se, ladki. :D",@LoKarDi_RT i mistook you to be a girl
@PoojaMissra Seat bhi jaayegi Aur izzat bhi Gayi Nitish ki #BJPAheadMGBDead,@PoojaMissra nitish will lose his seat and has already lost his fame #BJPAheadMGBDead
"Yesterday, she was another ""Arey yaar ladki ho gayi"". Today, she is ""Arey jatt ki chhori hai, medal kaise nahi layegi"" #SakshiMalik","yesterday, she was another ""oh no! it's a girl"". today, she is ""hey! she's a jatt, how will she not win a medal."" #SakshiMalik"
"Haa matlab thheka hum hi ne uthaya hai aur kuch kam dhanda hai hi nahi life mein, ye khelo.https://twitter.com/TheRainPoet/status/801115454169198592 …","it's okay. i only lifted it. i don't have any other work in my life, play this. https://twitter.com/TheRainPoet/status/801115454169198592"
60 salon se progress kr rha hai .. @republic @ZeeNews #RahulGandhi ..,progressing for 60 years. @republic @ZeeNews #RahulGandhi ..
hai himmat toh aao bhai #JNU walon .. #lucknow aao .. Protest nikalo .. #ArvindKejriwal ka bhi Rona shuru hoga 0,"people of #JNU, come to #lucknow if you have the guts. try to protest. #ArvindKejriwal will also start crying."
o bhai toilet to reh hi gya .  .  .  .  . :p,oh! forgot about the toilet.
"@Alllahdin Charger nahi tha. so gaya tha :""(","@Alllahdin i didn't have the charger, so i fell asleep."
"and also ,  haven't been able to check and cba updates since sunday .  if anyone hears any news ,  please pass it along to me .  thanks ! ","and also, i haven't been able to check cba updates since sunday . if anyone hears any news, please pass it along to me. thanks ! "
@kanimozhi @khushsundar @kapil_kausik @mayuranit @Sahadev214 Poor sundae ? Pity him !,@kanimozhi @khushsundar @kapil_kausik @mayuranit @Sahadev214 poor sundae ? pity him!
Isko kisine shares mein mamu bana diya lagta haihttps://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/735879175567855616 …,seems like someone has made him the uncle of shares https://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/735879175567855616
teri inhi harkaton se laat padti hai tujhe bar bar .  .  .,because of this behaviour of your's you get beaten up everytime.
Farah ji din bhar ghatiya filme bana ke thaki haari aayengi aut Maggi khaegi ? @ShirishKunder,farah ma'am gets tired working day and night making bad films and returns as a loser and eats maggi? @ShirishKunder
kpop: will psy be the first korean to win a grammy ? : psy may qualify for the upcoming grammy awards .  gangnam sty .  .  .  http/URL,kpop: will psy be the first korean to win a grammy ? psy may qualify for the upcoming grammy awards. gangnam style.  http/URL
RT @ImranaK86597974 : @TEHLEELHUSSAIN4 @Imrankhanworld Hattrick InshaAllah# Amplifiar # se bhi jaada hit hoga # InshaAllah#,retweet @ImranaK86597974: @TEHLEELHUSSAIN4 @Imrankhanworld hattrick! # InshaAllah will be a bigger hit than #Amplifiar.
ye @indiantweeter  darling hai!,this @indiantweeter is a darling.
@GabbbarSingh Lunch ke baad aana,@GabbbarSingh come after lunch.
Sir Jadeja ne apni wicket Ki compromise kar li hai ! Sir ! Respect ! #INDvsPAK,"sir, jadeja has compromised his wicket. respect!  #INDvsPAK"
Bhai jaan ... plz ek bar mera name typ kr k hiii bol do plzzzzz bhai?,"sir, please type my name once and say hi. please!"
tune to bada lamba chaura manifesto banaya hai naa .  .  .  .  dekhta hoon kitne seats milenge,"you have prepared a very long manifesto, right? let's see how many seats you will get."
itna lamba kon padhega  ?  ?  admin is post ko ek bilaand chhota kar do  !  !,"who will read such a long text? admin, cut down the size a little."
@HudDangee maaf kardo hume.. Aise tweet kar ke zulm to mat karo,@HudDangee please forgive me. atleast do not punish me by writing such a tweet.
just bought my 1st heineken beer in las vegas .  ps i've lived here for 5 yrs ~what took me so long !  http/URL,just bought my 1st heineken beer in las vegas. P.S. i've lived here for 5 yrs. what took me so long!  http/URL
tell the truth !!,tell the truth!
oho Bhabhi hamare pados me aaye ho..,"so sister-in-law, you have come to live in our neighbourhood?"
i thought yeh meri hi school mein hota tha  .  .  i guess sab jagah same hi hai  !,i thought this used to happen in my school only. i guess it happens in every school.
@Alllahdin kya hua bhai? Chalo rum piya jaaye,@Alllahdin what happened brother? come let's have some rum.
"Matlab yahan kuch dhang ka bolo toh public ko hajmola khana padta hai. 

Sighhttps://twitter.com/tushardave15/status/833652830850392065 …",this means if we speak with manners then the public have to have hajmola. see https://twitter.com/tushardave15/status/833652830850392065
kejariwal ki doobti naiya paar lagane a gaye .,they came to save kejriwal from his misery
RT @jainansh0201 : @IPL Join my league in IPL Fantasy Championship 2016 League Name- Virat Fans League Code- 2924-545,"retweet @jainansh0201 : @IPL join my league in ipl fantasy championship 2016. league name- virat fans, league code- 2924-545"
"Zaalim zindagi hai, ek gareeb uss mein chahta bhi hai toh kya? Bas do waqt ki roti aur sunny leone ke clips?",it is a cruel life. and what does a poor person want in it? two loaves of bread and clips of sunny leone.
"@hurdangi tharak toh chahiye bhai, poet kaise hoga warna?",@hurdangi lust is required. if not how will one become a poet?
"Mumbai Mirror ki zyada ghalti mat den, surname ke sath-sath Rega Jha aur Sanjay ka IQ level bhi ek jaisa hi hai.",don't blame mumbai mirror. their surname and the iq level of rega jha and sanjay are similar.
@kinn_sm hai hadek maneh,@kinn_sm hey! what do you mean by hadek?
@perky_girl16 chi chi bakwaas kar di na #DelhiGirlsBeLike,@perky_girl16  you finally spoke rubbish #DelhiGirlsBeLike
Or kya halchal h bhai de😃😉,how are you brother?
300 rupay maang raha hai.. de do,"he is asking for 300 rupees, give it."
@Stupendousaf to nai krni shadi ?,@Stupendousaf so you don't want to get married?
# 11000 cr ka fraud hone tak #Banks ko kuch nahi samjhta .. Lekin monthly average balance kam rehta hai to message bhejna barabar yaad rehta hai .. #PNBScam #NiravModiScam #NiravModiLootsIndia #PNB _ Scam,"banks don't understand till a fraud of #11000 cr is done, but if the monthly average balance is less then they know to send a message on time. #PNBScam #NiravModiScam #NiravModiLootsIndia #PNB _Scam"
jiyo anna .  .  .  . wow great,long live brother. wow! great!
@someUSER i just had a look and it seems nash to davos is a done deal along with joe thornton .  i may have to pay a visit .  .  .,@someUSER i just had a look and it seems nash to davos is a done deal along with joe thornton .  i may have to pay a visit.
right baat hai sir ji  .  .  .  yahi karte hai  .  .  .  khas kar mere school me to jadater madam sweater bunne hi aati thi :p,"you're right, sir. we'll do this only. especially, in my school maximum teachers only knew how to knit sweaters."
@amreekandesi @pranavsapra @Roflindian Tum serviceman ko Jeep chida kar bhaag jaana,@amreekandesi @pranavsapra @Roflindian you drive the jeep over the serviceman and run away.
Aane ko to 5 saal ke saabun bhi aa jaaye..https://twitter.com/Spring_Dosa/status/795198087585116161 …,if so you can get 5 years supply of soaps too. https://twitter.com/Spring_Dosa/status/795198087585116161 …
Arun Lal- ye dekhiye Mohit Sharma ko , kis tarah chhalange mar ke gendbazi ki shuruvat karte h . Maza aa raha h unki balls dekh kar #IndvsSA
@iamGunjanGrunge muh me bhi lele dabake :D,@iamGunjanGrunge take it in your mouth by pressing.
"Lagta hai "" ab mujhay Melania ka vote bhi nhi milay ga #Trump",seems like i will not get melania's vote also now #Trump
. @sagarikaghose madamji kalse kaunsa nasha kiye hain aap? Kuch humein bhi dijiye,"@sagarikaghose madam, you are high since yesterday on what? share with us also."
Jhoot bolkar logo ko gumrah kar rhe h ye software makers (9 APPS ) Ki recharge free worth 200 #Fraud lalach dekar App use krwana ...,these software makers are misguiding people to use their apps (9 APPS ) by promising fake offeres of free recharge worth 200. #Fraud tempting to use apps.
@Integrated_me Isiliye toh itna fudak rahe hain. Waise jyada time nahi lagta pata karne main :),@Integrated_me that's why he is hopping so much. actually it doesn't take much time to find out.
to muslim kaun ka iss desh se pyaar karte hai @masala_chaas @yogi_adityanath @Support,which muslim loves this country @masala_chaas @yogi_adityanath @Support
main sweet hu yaar bahot isiliye.,"i am very sweet, that's why."
@rai_vipul @Singhlicious sahi hai .. hehe :D,@rai_vipul @Singhlicious correct. haha!
@madam_robena Pakistan ki women's team ne shandaar cricket khela .. unhe jeet ki bahut bahut badhai .. they are better than men's team ..,@madam_robena pakistan's women's team played excellent cricket. congratulations on their victory. they are better than men's team.
JNU wale padhna nahi chahte.,people of jnu don't want to study.
RT @BeingSalmanKhan : Happy Birthday to my Sultani Arfa #SultanKiJaan @SultanTheMovie @AnushkaSharma . https://t.co/bII4Ij71bg,retweet @BeingSalmanKhan: happy birthday to my sultani arfa #SultanKiJaan @SultanTheMovie @AnushkaSharma. https://t.co/bII4Ij71bg
sallu bhaijan.pls aa jo ab,"sallu brother, please come now."
ye india h bhai, talented bahut h yahan pe
#Afwaah Menthol peene se khada nahi hota.,#Afwaah it won't erect if you drink menthol.
"@arunjaitley ""sir aapke #GST ne mere khane ka bill lagbhag 10% badha diya ""hai I deserve 10% salary hike also! What abt my salary hike??","@arunjaitley sir, your #GST has increased my food bill by around 10%. i deserve 10% salary hike also! what abt my salary hike?"
Deewaron ke bhi kaan hote hain. Hence proved.pic.twitter.com/gIEMbFYWrA,walls also have ears. hence proved. pic.twitter.com/gIEMbFYWrA
@SoulOnTransit bina kadpo ki jungle me ghoom rahi hai,@SoulOnTransit roaming in the jungle without clothes.
insaniyat ke naam par kalank .,stain on the name of humanity.
OK Alia Bora mtmano sujao khoda Hafiz by Mafi mangne ki adat nhi samajjao byyyyyy....,"ok alia, don't feel bad. go to sleep. i don't apologize, understand. bye!"
hum bajarng bali k bhakt h or hum kbi juth nhi bolte .....kyo bhai ...,i am a devotee of lord hanuman and i never speak lies. why brother?
"haaye daya meri laal shalwar wali pic ya, Sheena dekh na moti to nahi lag ri hu na? Insta par daalni hai, thodi patli kara de ya","oh! pity my picture with the red salwar. sheena,  just check it out, am i looking fat? i need to post it on Insta, try to make me look thin."
We expect greater things from @ArvindKejriwal . @narendramodi Rahul Gandhi,we expect greater things from @ArvindKejriwal. @narendramodi rahul gandhi
nikon contest outlaws film images for first time (update monday) - http/URL - the rules for the nikon photo contest  .  .  .,nikon contest outlaws film images for first time (update monday) - http/URL - the rules for the nikon photo contest.
garbage bin mere comment par gag bana dala .  .  .  .  .  .  itni khusi .  .  .  .  dil jeet liya bhai,"garbage bin made a gag out of my comment. so much happiness, won my heart."
#Middle class Week main 1 bar Hotels jata Tha par wo bhi #GST ke Karan nahi jayenga Des ko Badlo #Modi ji Vidis Jane se kuch nhi hota @abpnewstv @aajtak,"#Middle class used to go to hotels once a week but that also they will not go from now due to #GST. develop the country. #Modi sir, no progress happens if you go to foreign countries. @abpnewstv @aajtak"
simple hai yaar sirf @ laga kar dishasatra,"its simple dude, just add @ and then dishasatra."
@Heerahee abe wo pichhle saal ka hai,@Heerahee that is previous year's.
"@imcomplicated__ thanks, tumhare gyan se zyada tumhari zulfein achhi lag rahi hai DP mein.",@imcomplicated__ thanks. i liked your hair in your display picture more than the knowledge you tried to share.
@rishid100 @virendersehwag career hota hai bhai,@rishid100 @virendersehwag career also exists.
@wallflower_ish jo answer aapne ankit kiya hai woh galat hai,@wallflower_ish the answer you have proposed is wrong.
Aaj ek gadget aur kharid lo.. Aaj bazaar se saari sabziyaan aur baaki ghar ka saamaan le lo.. Aaj! Kya pata kal ho na ho!!! #GST,"today purchase another gadget. today purchase all required vegetables from the market. do it today itself. who knows, tomorrow may or may not exist. #GST"
Yaar unka bhi color chhut-ta hai kya nahaate waqt?,"dude, does his colour also fade while bathing?"
"@NautankiNinja padhaai hi nahi ho paati exam ke time , major reason twitter nkajshuklabjp @bhattkaran83 @iambmane @NayakDeep @hbparmar211 htt",@NautankiNinja can't study at all during exams. major reason is twitter @kajushuklabjp @bhattkaran83 @iambmane @NayakDeep @hbparmar211
"Roz badlo apna kachcha
Ab ki baar @_GandaBachcha

Hahahaa",change your briefs everyday. next time @_GandaBachcha. hahahaa!
tu bhi Kejriwal mat ban.. saari filme dekhna hai tujhe  @ShirishKunder,"you also don't become kejriwal, you have to see all the films @ShirishKunder"
Haro toh ESA haro ki haar mai bhi jeet ho #PVSindhu #Champiom,"even if you lose, lose in such a way that you have a victory in that defeat #PVSindhu #Champiom"
jo boye beej babool ke to aam kaha se hoye . https://t.co/CBRdXOf8zZ,"if you sow seeds of acacia, how will mangoes grow. https://t.co/CBRdXOf8zZ"
Gujarati fraud kyun hotey hai ? #PNBScam,why are gujaratis frauds? #PNBScam
"@ek_samosa_dena dil toh hai dil, dil ka aitbaar kya kije? Aagaya Jo kisi pe yaar kya kije?","@ek_samosa_dena heart is justa heart. what to confess about it? if you love someone, why be friends only?"
To all those jinhe pata nahi hai .. #FakrHai #IndvsPak #ICCWT20 #BharatMataKiJai https://t.co/R58xBGDgZ2,to all those who don't know. #FakrHai #IndvsPak #ICCWT20 #BharatMataKiJai https://t.co/R58xBGDgZ2
guru ji ye to bata do #hafeezsaedjo jo #TAIMUR ko apna allah manata hai aur uske principal ko follow karke # 26/11 #MumbaiTerr,"sir, reflect on this also. #hafeezsaedjo beleives #TAIMUR as his god and based on his pronciples does things like the #26/11 #MumbaiTerr"
bas karo bhaiyon evam behno :D,stop it brothers and sisters
@BloodyKamina Tu real estate agent lag raha hai mujhe ,)
Ary bhai love. Phr jb b awo gy aunga. Ap ko request byjta hun link mel gya.,"brother, love you. i will come again when you come. i will send you request, i found the link."
"@someUSER @someUSER i certainly wouldn't be spending my hard earnt taking the kids to see say shels 2nd xi v us ,  clubs will fold no doubt","@someUSER i certainly wouldn't be spending my hard earned taking the kids to see sayshels 2nd xi v us ,  clubs will fold no doubt"
Salman bhai yr aap bhooot mast ho... ?,"salman sir, you are awesome."
@jorana_khan @BilalAhmadwazir @SyedaShehlaRaza @sharmilafaruqi Sharmila bhi aunty hay bas figure maintain rakha hay . ( Sayeen k peson se ),"@jorana_khan @BilalAhmadwazir @SyedaShehlaRaza @sharmilafaruqi sharmila is also aunty, just she's maintaining her figure. ( with the money of sayeen )"
@Joydas Soo ja bhai.. Raat ke 12 bajne wale hai.. Tu ab bhi BJP BJP kar raha hai,@Joydas go to sleep brother. it is almost 12 midnight and you are still chanting bjp bjp.
Will get back to you asap is corporate world's 'bhai dekh mere paas aur bhi kaam hai kal kar dunga',"will get back to you as soon as possible is corporate world's 'see brother, i have other work. will do it tomorrow.'"
"""Agar mujhe kuch ho jaaye to sakbo bata dena @meamabhishek mera hi beta hai..""pic.twitter.com/qpU051LNH4","""if anything happens to me then tell everyone that @meamabhishek is my son.""pic.twitter.com/qpU051LNH4"
"Sritika -  
Kachra- Bhai aisa bhi nahi Hai!",kachra- it's not like that brother.
Mard ban !! Koi dard nahi hoga.,be a man. you won't feel the pain.
"Dekh tere sansaar ki haalat kya ho gayee bhagwan
kitna badal gaya insane (kejriwal)",o god! what has happened to the world you created. how much humans have changed (kejriwal).
Aao dekho .... sab environmentalist bane ghum rahe,"come, see. all are pretending to be environmentalists."
"Kyon chalti hain pawan..
Kyon jhoome hai gagan...
#BiharKaJaichandShatrughan",why does air flow?
@Being_Humor Bhai log kehte he apne @mainbhiengineer ke sath milkar attention pane k liye khud ko troll kr liya ky ye sahi he ? #AskAbhishek,@Being_Humor people say that you and @mainbhiengineer troll each other for gaining attention. is it true? #AskAbhishek
"Mujhe bhi fashion blogger banna hai, bas shakal thodi kharab hai. Magar free ke kapde chalenge. Please help. RT.",even i want to be a fashion blogger. its only that my face is ugly. but i don't mind clothes for free. please help. retweet.
@anjanaomkashyap madam mai socha aaj ke verdict ke bare me #Hallabol karenge samjha tha .. #RightToPrivacy,"@anjanaomkashyap madam, i thought about today's verdict. i thought we'll do #Hallabol. #RightToPrivacy"
Amazing day for Bangladeshi people. Pura din rickshaw chalane ke baad aake India ko haarte huye dekha! Sab thakaan khatam! #IndvsWI,amazing day for bangladeshi people. after riding the rickshaw whole day they came to see india lose! all the fatigue disappeared! #IndvsWI
Bhai tweet kisse likhwaya.. Ek bhi mistake nahi !! Achche Din ??https://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/663218300353122304 …,"brother, who wrote the tweet for you? not even a single mistake. good days, is it? https://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/663218300353122304"
Mahulle ke laundon ka pyar ... aksar doctor aur engineer uthake le jaate hai :'(,"in general, engineers and doctors steal the love of boys of the locality."
Ankit Yadav beta lucknow gaon nhi hai jo hum sabko jaante ho .. ,) :P
@MeetUunngLee bas ab maar le meri. Tujh jaisa handsome main bhi dikhna chahta hu,@MeetUunngLee just kill me now. i also want to look handsome like you.
"Har bande ki yahi kahaani, weekend par kharch poori jawaani.https://twitter.com/Alllahdin/status/730634670078070784 …","this is the story of everyone, spend all of the youth during weekends. https://twitter.com/Alllahdin/status/730634670078070784"
"Bhabhi @Miss_Takken ko hum sab doston ki taraf se Janam Din Mubarak!
Bhai @MeetUunngLee issi khushi mein hun sabko iss ravivar party denge.pic.twitter.com/OgkfhWI3wN","sister-in-law, wish @Miss_Takken a very happy birthday from all of her friends. on this occasion, @MeetUunngLee will throw us a party this sunday. pic.twitter.com/OgkfhWI3wN"
Misba ne shami to toda . twitter pe sannaata,misba broke shami. silence on twitter.
dis is very rit dere always been rumors of affairs b/w teachers  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  !,this is right. there have always been rumours of affairs between teachers.
@nozomi_o11 okuhara ko hara kar @Pvsindhu1 ne siddh kar dia wahi no 0.1 hai ..,@nozomi_o11 by defeating okuhara @Pvsindhu1 has proven herself as number 1.
@Ujala4u haaha .. hum aisy he hai biwi office mein kaam kion kry .. hahah,@Ujala4u haha! i am like this only. why is my wife working in the office. haha!
RT @sheikhimaan : News flash : Iss baar bheja tha . Jeet gaye . ,) https://t.co/3Fm7GekSgi
"Ruk jaa, aur dekhna zaroor.
Jose, I know!","wait and see, please. jose, i know."
@king_ranjhna @21century_kant ye respect h ek woman ki kamal h,"@king_ranjhna @21century_kant this is respect, the awesomeness of a woman."
@Mocksterr @mahnoor yaar masla keya hain tum aisay kyon likh rahein ho,@Mocksterr @mahnoor what is the problem? why are you writing like this?
@BabaBenarasi bhaiya byaah ho gaya hai ladke ka.. Haha,"@BabaBenarasi brother, the boy is already married. haha!"
"Wohich, aashirwad banaye rakhna ",keep blessing in the same way.
"Ashutosh: ""Main to soch raha hoon is bhayankar garmi ke liye bhi BJP ko blame kiya jaye""
Kejriwal: ""Manish, moonh band kar is kuve ka""","ashutosh: ""i am thinking of blaming bjp for this severe heat""
Kejriwal: ""Manish, close the mouth of this well"""
OMG BHAI AA GAYE MAUKA MAUKA AD MEIN. PAISA VASOOL MATCH.,"omg! this has come in the ""mauka mauka"" advertisement. a match worth watching."
"@MeetUunngLee badla to h zindagi le rahi hai mujhse, aur tu ab tak gurgaon aa hi raha hai",@MeetUunngLee life is already taking its revenge on me and you are still on the way to gurgaon.
@Ra_Bies toh phir theek hai,@Ra_Bies then it's okay.
RT @rajivmishra : #RailBudget2015 @narendramodi @RailMinIndia kaamchori /mismanagement/nonsensical rules / babugiri all this sums up as IND,"retweet @rajivmishra : #RailBudget2015 @narendramodi @RailMinIndia laziness, mismanagement, nonsensical rules and babuism, all this sums up as india."
are mera to aaj hi h xam :-(,"hey, i have an exam today."
tujhe aisa lagta hai?,do you think so?
sahi likha hai bilkul :P,it is written correctly.
@Nomadic_Soul_  thoda cyanide bhi de deti mention ke sath @Insane_chorri,@Nomadic_Soul_  you should have given a little cyanide along with the mention @Insane_chorri
@Itsmy_rule Achcha hai desh se buri cheez kam ho rahi hai ,)
@Blahs_famous aaj blue hai pani pani pani pani,@Blahs_famous today the water is blue.
Ab toh Hafiz Saeed ko yaqeen hojaye ga k #surgicalstrike toh hue thi leken complete surgery aaj ground mein kar dekhai ! #IndvsPak #CT 17,"now hafiz saeed must be convinced that though the #surgicalstrike happened, but it was completed today at the ground! #IndvsPak #CT 17"
bhai aaj tere jeasus ne aansu nikal diye aankh se .  .  :d lol,"dude, today your jesus made me cry. lol!"
"Wife: SACH BATAO SHARAAB PI RAKHI HAI?
Nusrat Sahab: Piyaa re Piyaa re Piyaa re Piyaa re","wife: tell me the truth, are you drunk? nusrat sir: yes! yes! yes! yes!"
@KyaUkhaadLega bhai 2-3% humor udhaar de de.. Followers badhane hai,"@KyaUkhaadLega give me 2-3% humor for rent, i want to increase followers."
@Sarcusstic Majaak kar raha hu ganoo what ya,"@Sarcusstic i am joking, what ganoo."
EPIC STUFF FROM @campusghanta Kalyug ka Kanhaiya http://www.campusghanta.com/latest/kalyug-ka-kanhaiya …,"epic stuff from @campusghanta, kanhaiya of kalyug http://www.campusghanta.com/latest/kalyug-ka-kanhaiya"
@BabaFirki LOL. Sar ke bal kahan hai?,@BabaFirki lol! where is the hair of your head?
Holi hai bhai Holi hai India ka captain #Kohli hai #HappyHoli everyone @imVkohli @BCCI,it's holi! india's captain is #Kohli. #HappyHoli everyone @imVkohli @BCCI
chips khane ki awaz chabad chabad ki baje crunch kuch honi chahiye na .  .  . rubber ke chips hain kya ?  ?  ?,for such a sound to come while eating the chips there must be crunch in it. are the chips made up of rubber?
"Bahot zyada hogaya hai bhai, it's an epidemic​ worse than swine flu.","it's become worse now, like an epidemic. it is worse than swine flu."
@arvinder_sb sentence change kar diya isliye gadbad ho gayi,"@arvinder_sb changed the sentence, that's what caused the problem."
i don't think its an official site but hey  !  it's hacked and not so kind message for gandhi family :d,"i don't think its an official site, but hey!  it's hacked and not so kind message for gandhi family."
Kaun hai ye paapi?,who is this sinner?
@someUSER the mccormick place .  .  .  . rite here by the hyatt hotel on like 23rd nd king dr .,"@someUSER the mc cormick place, right here by the hyatt hotel on like 23rd and king dr."
"Special Dharna Express Announced for ANNA , isme yeh pure desh me ghum ghum ke dharna de sakenge @OneTipOneHand_ @Keisar_ #RailBudget2015",special strike express announced for anna by means of which he can travel around the country and perform his strike. @OneTipOneHand_ @Keisar_ #RailBudget2015
"open dialog is cosponsoring with globes to present to you  "" searching for social justice ""  next wednesday at 6pm .  http/URL","open dialog is co-sponsoring with globes to present to you  ""searching for social justice"".  next wednesday at 6pm.  http/URL"
"Her name is Sagarika kyonki sag hare rang ka hota hai jaise sarson, palak etc etc.","her name is sagarika because sag is green-coloured, in general, like mustard, spinach, etc."
Rahul Gandhi after someone told him 'deewaro ke bhi kaan hote hai' pic.twitter.com/aQ0QWklZRV,rahul gandhi after someone told him 'walls also have ears' pic.twitter.com/aQ0QWklZRV
@someUSER real ones are avail about a month or so b4 mardi gras (day b4 ash wed),@someUSER real ones are available for about a month or so before mardi gras (the day before ash wednesday).
@someUSER is t it fake ?  the grammys nominations come out in december !  !  !,@someUSER is it fake?  the grammys nominations come out in december!
whatsapp check kar bhej diya @navyharicky,"@navyharicky check your whatsapp, i've sent it."
@Dishasatra bas pachad pachad din bhar,@Dishasatra just blabbering all day long.
@retardedwriter aisa kya karna hai tujhe? :-/,@retardedwriter what are you thinking to do?
kachua sir ne kya bola ye abhi bhi sir ke upar se hai .  .  .,what tortoise sir told has flown over my head.
"@sachin_rt & Suresh Prabhu , railway minister belong to same school , Shardashram vidya mandir ... #RailBudget2015","@sachin_rt and suresh prabhu, railway minister belong to same school, shardashram vidya mandir #RailBudget2015"
@mahnoor room khali hai to baat karo?,"@mahnoor, if the room is empty can i talk to you?"
Jio sim ki tarah #Jiocoin bhi free milega,#Jiocoin will also be for free just like jio sim.
"@Alllahdin yaar aakhir ladki hai, shaadi ke baad kya hota hai tu jaanta hai. :D","@Alllahdin brother, after all she is a girl, you know what happens after marriage."
@narendramodi sir ab toh humein #GST bhi mil gya par humein hamare new #defenceminister kab Tak milenge ??,"@narendramodi sir, we even got our #GST by this time, but when will we get our new #defenceminister ?"
"@Alllahdin Teri baaton mein mujhe pyar nazar aata hai, Teri aankhon mein bhi ikraar nazar aata hai",@Alllahdin i see love in your words. i also see commitment in your eyes.
@RoyalViratian oh accha ??? Chalo man Liya😋😂Gud evening Bhai :),"oh! is it @RoyalViratian ? okay, i accept. good evening brother."
"@Alllahdin sahi kiya, sobriety is over rated. 
Yaaron mujhe maaf karo, main nashe mein hu.","whatever you did is correct @Alllahdin, sobriety is over rated. friends forgive me, i was not in a stable state of mind."
Ab to aa jao jnab ...plz aajo,atleast come now. please come.
.@OfficeOfRG bhai Dilli se to 1AC me gaye ho.. Ab ye nautanki kyu ?,@OfficeOfRG you came from delhi in first class ac. then why now this gimmick?
BhaiyaJi #ManmohanSingh Ka Remote Kaha Se Chalta Tha ? Aur Waise Bhi desh / Goa Se Pehle Thik Se Ghar Chalao !! @INCIndia,"brother, who operates the remote of #ManmohanSingh ? also before thinking of running the country/goa one has to run their house and family properly."
i love u bhai .,i love you brother.
tomorrow the field gets set for #daytona500 duels start 2pm on #speed all starts 10am with nationwide practice on #espn2 trucks at noon,"tomorrow the field gets set for #daytona500 duels. starts at 2pm on #speed. all starts at 10am with nationwide practice on #espn2, trucks at noon."
"Joote Nike ke lo ya Reebok, original to @flipkart se hi milega #BilkulPakkapic.twitter.com/B3VlhENjqM","even if you purchase shoes from nike or reebok, original shoes you get only from @flipkart #BilkulPakka pic.twitter.com/B3VlhENjqM"
"Waah, duniya bahot aage badh gayi hai cosmetics mein. Progress hogaya hai",the world have progressed too much in cosmetics. progress had happened.
RT muktimohanWeb : Watch #MahaShivratri #Tandav performance by thisIsMukti http://t.co/5CihVC8RdC MohanShakti http://t.co/kWOnNivlEA,muktimohanweb watch #MahaShivratri #Tandav performance by thisismukti http://t.co/5CihVC8RdC MohanShakti http://t.co/kWOnNivlEA
Bahut hi BODMAS bachcha hai ye.https://twitter.com/Being_Humor/status/659436990119546882 …,he is vey naughty boy. https://twitter.com/Being_Humor/status/659436990119546882
MAine kahan bola mat khareed bhai?,did i told you not to buy?
"guddu ki mummy piche se  , guddu ja zara daud k lehsun adrak ka paste le kar aa :p","guddu's mom from back, guddu go and get some garlic and ginger paste."
Shri Navjot Singh Sidhu applauding skills of Shri Rahul Gandhipic.twitter.com/JQvvgKjQMK,navjot singh sidhu applauding skills of rahul Gandhipic.twitter.com/JQvvgKjQMK
"Garv asked me: ""Inse poochho ki ye log kis religion ke hain"".
Wo log to me: ""Garv se kaho ki hum Bhartiya hain"".","garv asked me : ""ask them which religion they belongs to"".
people to me : ""tell with proud that we are indians""."
kaun hai ye> Bahot naam suna hai,who is he heared a lot about him.
"kajri khud hi nawtanki wala hai ,  uska kya majak udana .  10 feb .  ke bad to waise hi delhi se bhagne wala hai . ","kajri is gimmickist, why to make fun of him, he will be running out off delhi after 10 feb."
"FFS we need a Maharashtrian here, get Kedar Jadhav.
MARATHI MANASA ZAAGA HOO!!
#INDvPAK","FFS we need a aharashtrian here, get kedar jadhav.
#INDvPAK"
"@someUSER the 1st thing that came to mind was something from flatbush zombies hahaha or omg ,  biz markie .  or ol' dirty bastard &gt;:)",@someUSER the first thing that came to mind was something from flatbush zombies hahaha or oh my god.
"#279 : My best moments at IITB were while peeing standing at the skydeck on 6th floor of H14 , aiming towards some poor chap sleeping on the 4th floor Skydeck during summer nights . . .","#279 : my best moments at IITB were while peeing standing at the skydeck on 6th floor of H14 , aiming towards some poor chap sleeping on the 4th floor skydeck during summer nights."
Sansa and Prafful were awesome in sarabhai v/s sarabhai,sansa and prafful were awesome in sarabhai v/s sarabhai
acting nahi bas nautanki karwa lo is se .,make him do gimmick not acting.
Item set hui ki nahi?https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/634780090237341696 …,did you got that girl? https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/634780090237341696
@Lakshmila_ @jayyvenk oh yes .. that was really disappointing 😞 aur Ram ne ek baar bhi lakshman ko roka ni .. Aisa thodi na hua tha,"@Lakshmila_ @jayyvenk oh yes, that was really disappointing and ram didn't even once tried to stop lakshaman, this isn't right"
"Sir @narendramodi islamic banking shuru kardo aur desh ko bhi islamic bana do. Yahi bacha tha. BC

#NoIslamicBanking","sir @narendramodi start islamic banking, and also make the country islamic. this was only thing left.

#NoIslamicBanking"
"#Archives

GST to be renamed Rajiv Maal aur Seva Lagaan http://www.theunrealtimes.com/2016/03/17/gst-to-be-renamed-rajiv-maal-aur-seva-lagaan/ … via @leftsound","#Archives

gst to be renamed rajiv money or service tax http://www.theunrealtimes.com/2016/03/17/gst-to-be-renamed-rajiv-maal-aur-seva-lagaan/  via @leftsound"
prestige ki whistle bajaa di sir ne guddu ki :d :d,sir played the wistle which belongs to guddu.
bomb lagana pdega staff room mein  .  .  .  :p,plant the bomb in staff room.
RT @ESPNcricinfo : ICYMI : It was a Virat Kohli special in Mohali Match report : https://t.co/iUH7WYOWW0 #INDvAUS #WT20 https://t.co/TbkWLU75,@ESPNcricinfo : icymi : it was a virat kohli special in mohali match report : https://t.co/iUH7WYOWW0 #INDvAUS #WT20 https://t.co/TbkWLU75
@Atheist_Krishna Landline number pe call karna aur ye puchna ghar pe ho kya? #PointKyaHai Point Kya Hai @PAYBACKIndia,@Atheist_Krishna calling on landline number and asking are you at home? #PointKyaHai what is the point @PAYBACKIndia
done that .  .  .  .  but mujhay acting bhi isi waja say mil jati thi .  .  .,done that but i got acting jobs just because of that.
summer holidays ke last few days ka haal :d',the feeling of last few days of summer holidays.
@Alllahdin @KyaUkhaadLega Shaam tak ruk jaate.,@Allahdin @KyaUkhaadLega wait till evening.
bahot hi kharab :(,it was worse.
@sayshardik mamin bhi peeyunga HUma Qureshi ne reply kiya hai :D,"@sayshardik i will drink mamin, huma qureshi replied."
kya aap bengali language bol sakte ho?,can you speak in bengali?
bechara last night dekh ke delete karne wala hoga ki chotu ne baaji maar di  .  .  .,"poor guy, he was about to delete the photos after seeing last night but chotu won it."
Aa gaya hathyaar !!pic.twitter.com/3bniwVWcRq,weapon came! pic.twitter.com/3bniwVWcRq
Or jis trh se #Notebandi humara diwala nikalne k baad flop hua tha... thk usi #GST v humara diwala nikaal k flop ho jayega....,here comes the murderer. pic.twitter.com/3bniwVWcRq
.@RanaAyyub Bharat Mata ki Jai,@RanaAyyub all hail mother india
Back to back #surgicalstrike honge tabhi kuch hoga nahi toh #surgicalstrike bi ek naam ban kar rah jaayega .,if #surgicalstrike happens bak to back then only something will happen other wise #surgicalstrike will also become a name.
"#Trump ke Elaan per Saari Duniya ki Khamoshi Hairat Angeezi """,After single declaration of #Trump world has its awkward silence. 
"English aur catch, Pakistani pakad nahi paate.
#INDvPAK","english and catch, pakistani cannot hold on. 
#INDvPAK"
@someUSER happy 20th birthday nick j !  hope it's one of the best !  you've accomplished so much already .  .  .  and so much more to come .  love you !,@someUSER happy 20th birthday nick j!  hope it's one of the best! you've accomplished so much already and so much more to come.  love you!
Shaadi ka laddoo.. Ja khaye wo bhi pachtaye.. Naa khaye wo bhooka reh jaaye https://twitter.com/twinitisha/status/733617177983520770 …,wedding sweets who ever eats regrets it and who do not eat they will be hungry. https://twitter.com/twinitisha/status/733617177983520770
Pehle Congress party ko khatam kiya ab samajwadi party ki baari hai !! #RahulGandhi,firstly ended congress party now its turn for samajwadi party. #RahulGandhi
@roshd Awesome. Congratulations.  Tumhara naam phir Roshan kar diya.,"@roshd awesome, congratulations. I illuminated your name again."
20 rupees deposit kar ke rent per comics  .  .  .  . he he he,rented a comics on deposit of 20 rupees.
@raggedtag @Arunapk57 Kadipatta* please. 5 rupye ki siraf itni si adhrak?,@raggedtag @Arunapk57 curry leaves* please. onlly this much ginger in 5 rupees.
bas tu hi hai bhai *hugs*,only you are brother *hugs*.
are media walo duniya me isse bhi important news h batane ko .  .,attention media peoples there are more important news in this world to tell.
@PoojaMissra ab hum karenge Nitish aur Laloo ko Troll #BJPAheadMGBDead,@PoojaMissra now we will troll nitish and laoo #BJPAheadMGBDead
"Jaijinendra , 07412-235423 DT 28-2-2016 se band hai Pl chalu karva deve him bahut pareshan hai No "" 9406636779 Thanks #RaviShankarPrasad","jaijinendra, 07412-235423 dt is closed from 28-2-2016 please open it , he is very upset no -9406636779 thanks #RaviShankarPrasad "
"Mai shayar toh nahi, magar ayye haseen.
Jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko... tatti aagayi.","i am not a poet, but my dear.
the moment I saw you, shit came."
"""Ye zameen ka aakhiri tudka bhi Vadra ne hadap liya..""pic.twitter.com/FfvFdYEMKo","""Vadra even seized the last part of the land..."" pic.twitter.com/FfvFdYEMKo"
delhi ke people ka koi samadhan nahi nikleyga .  .  .,there is no solution to delhi people...
snow may fall for parts of cny the next few days .  find out where the best chances will be at 6:42 am on tv &amp, online: http/URL
@Mad_Mommy_ ye ky baat huee,@Mad_Mommy_ what is the matter
Modi ji ne kejriwal sahab ke feelings ko samjha hai isliye #GST @0 % On Phool Bhari #Jhadoo. #OppositionTheseDays #GST,modi sir finally realized the feelings of kejriwal that's wh #GST @0% on phool bhari #Jhadoo #OppostionTheseDays #GST
@doai_ab Ruchika ji Ghotalon se koi nahi marta .. ghotalebazon ka samarthak bhi nahi .. lekin jo hawa desh me bah rahi hai wo bahut khatarnaak h,@doai_ab ruchika no one dies because of corruption. not even the suppoter of the corrupt.. but the wind blowing in the country can be dangerous.  
"Kaale Megha Kaale Megha paani toh barsao.

Megha: Kaala kisko bola be? Teri maa kaali, tera baap kaala. Tera police complaint hrmkhr","black clouds black clouds please rain,

clouds : who you called black? your mother black, your father black. i am going to complain to police."
sallu bhai.... kaha ho thum??,salman brother where are you?
"#GuessTheSong
Aao kho jaaye sitaaron mein kahin","#GuessTheSong
come lets get lost somewhere in stars"
@PoojaMissra iss baar JDU ko dhool chataegi #NitishKaNakliVikas,@PoojaMissra this time we will defeat jdu #NitishKaNakliVikas
"RT @abhijix : He : Hi , kaisi hai ? She : Mast , tu bata He : Hmm , tu paragon .. v2406 @bhattkaran83 @iambmane @pg27693 @hbparmar211 http://t.co/cOz","@abhijix : he : hi, how are you? she : fine, how are you he: hmm, you paragon. v2406 @bhattkaran83 @iambmane @pg27693 @hbparmar211 http://t.co/cOz"
"@roflbaba Dil ki tanhai ko awaaz bana lete hai, dard jab hadd se guzarta hai 4 peg chadha lete hai.","@roflbaba i make music out of emptiness in my heart, when pain crosses its limit i take 4 peg. "
Chidambaram ka kuch nahi ukhaad paayenge becuase cowards ki sarkaar hai .. Sirf bol bachchan karna aata hai inko ..,"can't do anything of chidambaram because the government is to coward, they only know how to speak."
"naah, uske baad tune apni DP lagayi :'( ","no, after that you putted your display picture."
Aapne ye sbko btayaki hm insan haitb hindu ur musalmanNd india ur Pakistan. ...Bt pta nhi kyu log smjhte nhiBt koi nhi One day they wil realize.,"you told everyone that we are human first then we are indian or paskistani, but i don't know why people don't realize it, one day they will realize."
Sankashti is the mini sunburn of Maharashtra.,sankashti is the mini sunburn of maharashtra.
Kaali kaali khaali raaton se hone lagi h dosti Khoya khoya inn raho me ab mera kuch b nahi😍😍😍😍😍 this songg 💔💔Heart wrenching .....,"black black black nights are becoming my friends, i am lost in a path where nothing is mine, this song is heart wreching."
@divyaszaika ye sahi hai.,@divyaszaika this is right
@DuttYogi mubarak ho sir ji . Very big big congratulations . Jai mata di . Bharat mata ki jai .,"@DuttYogi congratulations sir. verg big big congratulations. all hail to mother, all hail to mother india."
#auspol australian prime minister julia gillard's criminal history and her hypocrisy with wikileaks and julian assange http/URL,#auspol australian prime minister julia gillard's criminal history and her hypocrisy with wikileaks and julian assange
@someUSER commentator says porto dominated 1st half &amp, looks that way again in the 2nd
@someUSER hi elif greetings from usa midwest how is school going ?  happy turkish republic day !  i can't wait for nov 8 #newglee yes !,@someUSER hi greetings from usa midwest how is school going ? happy turkish republic day! i can't wait for nov 8 #newglee yes!
#Modiji #GST aane se pehle main Bahut khush thaa.. is liye ki Modiji ka plan hai toh zarur desh or Janta done ke liye Sabse achchaa hoga 1/4,"#Modiji before #GST arrived i was happy, because i knew that if it was modi's plan then it must be good for the country and its people."
@Challa_SRKian accha isiliye tum abhi tak Single the ?? 😳😂 ab samjhi 😂 waise she is only my age 😂,"@CHalla_SRKian that's why you are single?? now i understood, by the way she is only of my age."
Yahan har koi judge hai without a degree.,everyone is a judge here without a degree
kuch naya bata samose saale puraani news ke vyapaari  @ramit_b @brumbyOz,tell me something new samose you seller of old news @ramit_b @brumbyOz
@KameeniChhori Phone bech diya kya ?,@KameeniChhori did you sold your phone?
Pyar kisi ke saath bhi ho sakta hai.,love can happen with anyone
u r awesome .  .  .,you are awesome.
"my neighbor in iit never trusted me  .  so that made me furious  .  hence whenever he and his girlfriend used to do stuff  ,  i used to stop the music in my room  . ","my neighbor in iit never trusted me. so that made me furious. hence whenever he and his girlfriend used to do stuff, i used to stop the music in my room."
"spirit friday ! fill the halls with school colors and enjoy a dress down day !  no pj ,  yoga pants or flip flops/backless shoes .  you are poland ! ",spirit friday ! fill the halls with school colors and enjoy a dress down day ! yoga pants or flip flops/backless shoes . you are poland !
@iamGunjanGrunge uski bhi photo bhejunga tujhe,@iamGunjanGrunge i will send you his photo also.
Badrinath Ki Dulhaniya. Badrinath ke honeymoon pics. Badrinath ke bete ke diapers. Badrinath ka beta Tiwari ji ke beti ke saath bhaag gaya,bride of badrinath. honeymoon pics of badrinath. diapers of son of badrinath. the son of badrinath runs away with the daughter of tiwari.
"SBI Emp- Jo bheji thi duaa.. Woh jaake aasmaan.. Se yu takra gayee.. Ki aa gayee hai laut ke sadaa

Me - ??

SBI - Cheque bounce ho gaya hai","sbi emp - the pray went to the sky. collided and came back

me - ??

sbi - cheque bounced"
"Naam hai mera bulla, rakhta hu main khullahttps://twitter.com/ndtv/status/866286175438356480 …","my name is bulla, i keep my open https://twitter.com/ndtv/status/866286175438356480"
@Miss_Ankiita tu to apne dekh liya kar,@Miss_Ankiita just watch yourself
"haahah padhna likhna sikho o mehnat Karne walo, padhna likhna sikho, o dhoop me marne waalo","haaha learn to study hard workers, learn to study who works in bright sun."
"Haan aunty, kaam zyada hai aajkal","yes aunty, lot of work nowadays"
Sab lad lad ke mar kyu nahi jaate?,why won't everyone die by killing each other
Ye photographer thak gya h kya .. blurred photo aayi h ...,"the photographer fooled me, the photo is blurred"
Itni tension raina ko 8 nov k baad nhi hui hogi jitni aaj ho rhi hogi 0 #dhoni #ThankYouDhoni #legend,the tension raina feeling today is more than he felt after 8 nov.
Ab Ye Afwa Kon Faila Raha Hai Ki #GST Related Jokes Share Karne Par Mobile Ki Battery 12% Kam Ho Jaati Hai? :p,now who is spreading this rumor that if you share #GST related jokes then your mobile battery will drop down by 12%?  
Aur ye bank wale.. 1 ghante ka kaam 2 din me karte hai.  Saale no 1 aalsi log.. Inko kis baat ki chutti be..,these bank employees they take 2 hour to complete a task of 1 hour number 1 lazy. why should they get holiday..
"Poetry ke naam par nanga naach
Photography ke naam par nanga naach
Politics ke naam par...
Religion ke naam par...

Life hai ya Dance Bar?!","dance nude in the name of poetry
dance nude in the name of photography
in the name of politics
in the name of religion

is it life or dance bar?"
"Dheere dheere se meri zindagi mein aana, dheere dheere se sab kharab kar jaana.","slowly slowly come into my life, slowly slowly soil everything."
ahaa voh dinnn !  !  !  chupke se paise le ke comics khareedna :p :p aweesomeeee days !  !,man those days! stealing money for comics awesome days. 
@Rialisticme Golden Globe mila kya?,@Rialisticme did you find the golden globe? 
@shilpitewari Agli baar bhi Modi sarkaar !!,@shilpitewari next time also modi government.
ab naya tv le aao .  .  . jake pakistani bahiyo,bring new tv pakistani brothers.
@buttmona098 @HamzaIdrees accha topic change karo,@buttmona098 @Hamzaldrees change the topic.
Kash Modiji Aap Manmohan Singh se phly aa gy hoty....aj 2015 humara Desh kha phuch gya hota,hopefully modi ji if u came before manmohan singh today 2015 our country would be on the next level.
RT @ANJALIS91314362 : Kunj : please Twinkle : aap k pass sirf adha ganta hau kunj : nahi ek ghanta twinkle : ji vaise mujhe itni asani se…,rt @ANJALIS91314362 : kunj : please twinkle : you have only half an hour kunj : no i have one hour twinkle : this was easy for me.
n wadra nai janta ki main kaun hoon  .  .  .  .  i guess koi nai janta  .  .  .  he he  .  :p,"n wadra doesn't know who i am, i guess no one knows."
aakhir jaag hi gya guddu ke baap ke andr ka sunny deol :-p,finally the sunny deol rise inside the guddu's dad.
@TweetErrant Haan bhai ye wala GD tu jeet gaya @LoKarDi_RT,@TweetErrant yes bro you won the GD this time @LokarDi_RT
"meanwhile Dhoni -- tujhe jeet ke rahenge , tera shauk chada hai :D #IndvsSA #MaukaMauka #CWC15","meanwhile dhoni -- will win you, you are my obsession #IndvsSA #MaukaMauka #CWC15"
mera dard tu hi samajhti hai !  !  sigh !  !,only you understand my pain! sigh!
"bakwaas, abhi wala Nokia 1100 hai.","rubbish, its current nokia 1100."
lela ke saath guddu valentines day nai mana raha kya ?  ?,isn't guddu celebrating valentines day with lela?
Ganesh ji Aapko kuchh bhi banne ki zaroorat nahi..Aapko #JNU mein ya #FTII mein direct entry hai .. Wahan aap 70-80 saal tak free mein padho,"ganesh sir, you don't need to make anything. you will direct entry in #JNU or #FTII there you will study for free for about 70-80 years."
Thoda paisa aur dein toh metro sidhe Ghar tak pahuncha dohttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/684303960509792257 …,give little more money then will make metro till your house https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/684303960509792257
"kaunsa school hai ye ;) maximum teachers ka jawaaab toh ye rehta hai  ""  beta ye sab bahaane ho gaye puraaaane ""  :p","which school is this, maximum teachers replies ""son these excuses are out dated."""
kya hua...bhaijaan....,what happened brother.
@Alllahdin kaise kahe hum pyaar be humko kya kya ____ dikhaaye,"@Allahdin how do i say this, love has shown me weird things."
i laughed my heart out seriously .  it was a total rofl moment !  !  !  3:) :d,i laughed my heart out seriously. it was a total rolling on the floor moment.
"thanks ,  dave !  great show tonight .  sorry ,  craig .  i've got to get to bed .  i'll catch you tomorrow .  @someUSER david letterman","thanks,  dave! great show tonight. sorry,  craig i've got to get to bed, i'll catch you tomorrow. @someUSER david letterman"
Dear @INCIndia 11 lakh Carore ke Gotalo se desh ki Economy na Doobi.. ab #GST se Doob rahi He?? E Uncle kis ko ULLU banaving?? desh ki Janta ko?? @INCGujarat,dear @INCIndia the economy of india didn't deplete from 11 lakh crore corruption but depleting from #GST? who are you fooling uncle? the people of the country. #INCGujarat
baba ramdev bhi chand dino k baad apky against aa rahy hai .  .  .  . akhir kayon ?,after somedays baba ramdev will also come against you?
"well ,  a few news: gonna be at phil's studio with nachtgeschrei in january to record my first album with the guys .  .  .  .  http/URL","well, a few news: gonna be at phil's studio with nachtgeschrei in january to record my first album with the guys."
haven't watched ttoa with eng sub yet .  gotta sleep now .  gonna watch it tomorrow .  (~o~)zz gud nite tlist .,haven't watched ttoa with eng sub yet. going to sleep now. going to watch it tomorrow. good night friends.
Is Christmas par #GST ka taxe bi nahi rokh payega @TigerZindaHai ko.samjhe yah aur samjhaye matlab @BeingSalmanKhan aa rahe hain.._..,"on this christmas eve even #GST tax couldn't stop @TigerZindaHai, did you understood or i will make you understand @BeingSalmanKhan is coming."
"Koi Dilli main bhi boond do boond baarish bhej do "" we want to breathe #Frustration #delhipollution #DelhiGasChamber",please someone send drop or so of rain we want to breathe #Frustration #delhipollution #DelhiGasChamber
"Kudos @TimesNow & Arnab, inki itni jalli hai ke bardaasht nahi ho raha.https://twitter.com/msisodia/status/778993405493817344 …","kudos @TimesNow & arnab, they are so annoyed that they can't believe it. https://twitter.com/msisodia/status/778993405493817344 …"
"Melody itni chocolaty kyon hai became
Bhaiya, hum chloremint kyon khaate hai became
Katappa nay Bahubali ko kyon maara.
#deepquestions","why melody is so chocolaty,
brother, why do we eat chloremint,
why katappa killed bahubali.
#deepquestions"
bhaijaan 4:11 ho gya. kb aaoge aap,brother its 4:11. when will you come?
@MeetUunngLee Teri body mujhe de de bhai,@MeetUunngLee give me your body brother.
@FreeCharge  Kaam bhi ho gaya aur lathi bhi nahi tooti  #MyCaptionForFreeCharge,@FreeCharge the work is done and the stick is also not broken #MyCaptionForFreeCharge
"beta south africa ,  baaki sab theek tha ,  ad bana ke galti kerdi tumnain .  . ","son south africa, rest is okay but you made a mistake by making ads."
"Aayaashi ke liye paise chahiye ?? 
Ans - #PapaHainNa","want money to waste?
ans - #PapaHainNa"
@DefucktiveHumor ab BJP jeet jayegi to is fadde ko gale me bandh ke nahi rakhegi na. #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan,@DefucktiveHumor if bjp won don't keep this ropes round your neck. #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan
RT @HudHud_Dabangg : Kohli ke baad sabse accha form abhi dhoni ka hai par he will come after out of form raina and yuvi .. hadh ho gayi,"@HudHud_Dabangg : after kohli the next best form is of dhoni, but still he will come after out of form raina and yuvi."
Kii baat nahi sir #Modibaters ke liye burnol #GST ke baat aur affordable ho gaya hai,its okay sir for #Modibaters burnol will get affordable after #GST.
"Hello main Arvind Kejriwal bol raha hu phone mat kaatiyega, Bajirao Mastani bahot badhiya picture hain ji, ek baar dekhna toh banta hai.","hello arvind kejriwal speaking dont cut the phone, bajirao mastani is very good movie, atleast watch it once."
"@someUSER congratulations kendall in germany it is 7 clock friday november 2 ,  so happy b-day","@someUSER congratulations kendall in germany it is 7 clock friday november 2, happy birthday."
"@raggedtag sahi mein, duniya sudhar jayegi lekin UP medieval age mein hi rahega","@raggedtag really, the world will improve but up will remain in medieval period."
RT @JacyKhan : @SRKhyati @iamsrk Aaawwiee Thank you so much Baccha ❤ Kaash ise kal dekhti to aaj to meko IT mein noble prize hi mi jata ... dh…,@JacyKhan : @SRKhyati @iamsrk Aaawwiee Thank you so much kid i wish i could see this year then in it i would have won noble prize.
Be someone's 'bhai thode paise udhaar de de',be someone's brother please lent me some money.
@Humor_Donor tune meri umar kya 18 daal soch rakhi hai?,@Humor_Donor do you think my age is 18?
@kitAnurag yeh wala ho chuka hai,@Cyranosis is that true? i can't believe this after hearing.
@Cyranosis Sach? Sunkar yakini nahin hota,@Cyranosis really? i can't believe it
@1sInto2s photo ko admire kar raha tha bhai,@1sInto2s i was admiring the photo
Sory main nhe aasg t main pakistan main ho???,it was really a weird match... doesn't seems like a T-20. both the teams were struggling...#IndvsPak
sr ji 2 mnt xtra lay li....ab itne dr apko jyada baat krni.pdegi :*,sir please 2 minutes... now you have to talk even more
"@someUSER lmao how old are you ?  club bodi should be live on sunday ,  its 18+ tho","@someUSER lmao how old are you? club bodi should be live on sunday, it 18+ though"
@RaeesDilwalaFan tujhe bhi pasand nahi to tweet mat pad.. Teri bhi fikar nahi hai yaha kiso ko @Connoisier,"@RaeesDilwalaFan don't read the tweet if you don't like it, no one cares about you @Connoisier"
l @AshwinPaddy mai is naam par pehle bhi objection kar chukan hun. is naam se meri book ek saal pehle aayi thi...aapke writer ne kaha tha...,i @AshwinPaddy have objection on the name. my book was published with this name one year before..your writer told me. 
"@Alllahdin Bhook lag gayi, roti soch kar. Brb khaana!","@Alllahdin I am feeling hungry, after thinking about roti. bring food!"
"Dhoni and Yuvi looking at each other : ""Jawani main hum bhi aisa khela karte the""","dhoni and yuvi looking at each other :""we used to play like this when we were young"""
PIB_India #UHF DEMUs will be converted to dual fuel ( CNG/Diesel ) : sureshpprabhu #RailBudget2015,PIB_India #UHF DEMUs will be converted to dual fuel ( CNG/diesel ) : sureshpprabhu #RailBudget2015
Jawaan ho yaaron ye tumko huwa kya?,get young bois what happened to you all?
guddu tu jaa kha rha hai scooter pe swearing ceremony mein  ?  :p,guddu where are you going swearing ceremony of scooter? :p
10/3 is answer of the question on board .  baaki ka guddu aa kyu nahi raha wo to aap log bhi samjh gaye honge :p,10/3 is answer of the question on the board. rest of the thing you can understand yourself.
"Ek rupya nahi diya inhone ne aaj tak, na mahine bhar ka free ride.","they didn't give even one rupee, and past one month getting free rides."
Pakistan ki Izzat neelaam ho rahi hai.. Koi boli bhi nahi laga raha..pic.twitter.com/h2jTAljchb,"the honor of pakistan is auctioned, no one even betting for it. pic.twitter.com/h2jTAljchb"
tere se phatne lagi hai @meamabhishek,i am scared of you @meamabhishek.
@GoelBrijesh LOL! Humnay kahan abuse kiya sir ji? Abuse toh aap hi kar rahe ho! @tinucherian,@GoelBrijesh lol! when did i abuse sir? infact you are abusing @tinucherian
#Dhoni Me Itani Captaincy aur baaki thi ji ..,#Dhoni was left with this much amount of captaincy.
"@Ra_Bies maine pi hai, bahot zyada :-P","@Ra_Bies i am drunk, too much."
RT @FilmyKeeday : French toast ye sirf India me milta hai .. #Queen https://t.co/6LpdlCAe2Z,"@filmykeeday : french toast, its can only be found in india. #Queen https://t.co/6LpdlCAe2Z"
@sagarcasm abhi release nahi hui,@sagarcasm its not yet released.
@chatpatidiary kya baat hai,@chatpatidiary wow!
"Amit ki biwi hmesha khti thi ki : Modi Bhai "" thoda Privacy dedo hume",amit's wife always said : modi please give us some privacy.
#ApmanRally isse zyada log to meri bday party me aate hai https://twitter.com/nisheethsharan/status/637889494000123904 …,#ApmanRally my birthday party has larger crowd than this https://twitter.com/nisheethsharan/status/637889494000123904
Kafir ki aulad mai teri movi nhi dekhunga....,"child of kafir, i won't watch your movie."
"@someUSER i'm singing what makes you beautiful for a school performance tomorrow !  wish me luck ?  any advice ?  follow ?  lol love you ,  niall","@someUSER i'm singing what makes you beautiful for a school performance tomorrow! wish me luck? any advice? follow? lol love you, niall."
Yeh banda detained hote huay bhi live tweeting karta hai.https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/793818021542305793 …,this guy tweeting live even after detained. https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/793818021542305793
"Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani-Deepika Padukone , Ranbir Kapoor , Kalki Koechlin , Aditya Roy Kapur http://t.co/W0xrtVAJPz","this young live is just mad - deepika padukone, ranbir kapoor, kalki koechlin, aditya   http://t.co/W0xrtVAJPzroy kapur"
@iNeelSoni JALDI SE 2-3 KG HEERE BHEJ,@iNeelSoni quickly send 2-3 kg diamond.
@indiantweeter mind mat kar yaar,@indiantweeter dont mind my friend.
Ab bachi huee zindagi me itna khoon desh le liye baha dena https://twitter.com/ibrahim_smd/status/661965984257806336 …,"now rest of the remaining life, will save blood for the country. https://twitter.com/ibrahim_smd/status/661965984257806336"
har har kajrival ghr ghr kajrewal .  .  .  only hope for india .,"everwhere everwhere kejriwal house house kejriwal, only hope for india."
to aur kaun karta hai @TimesNow @narendramodi,then who else does this @TimesNow @narendramodi
@chatpatidiary tum bhi jaage ho na? :-/,@chatpatidiary you will be going right?
"#Pune "" hum bahut jaldi aa rahe hain humara #FFYT Certification Program lekar","#Pune "" we will be coming soon, with my #FFYT certification program. "
"@Atheist_Krishna @akshaykanitkar @Alllahdin @KyaUkhaadLega @premlata_rai Babuji dheere chadna, pyar mein zara sambhalna","@Atheist_Krishna @akshaykanitkar @Allahdin @KyaUkhaadLega @premalata_rai sir please walk slowly,  walk with care in love."
Jab US mei #Trump jeet sakta hai toh India mei kuch bhi ho sakta hai #ElectionResults 2017,if #trump can will in us then anything can happen in india @TweetErrant
"@ladywithflawsUsko usko pila diya, hagge mera dushman. @TweetErrant","@ladywithflaws i made him drink, shit my rivial. @TweetErrant"
RT @Saba5786 : mahashivratri in yrkkh devyani is tense becoz alok parents r cuming #sbs seg @naksh_aliya @Preeti_PCH2004,@Saba5786 : mahashivratri in yrkkh devyani is tense because alok parents are coming. #sbs @naksh_aliya @Preeti_PCH2004
"Maqsood Bhai: Aapki begum nazar nahi aarahi, kya hua?
Sohail Bhai: Woh main mastt tel mein fry kar ke khagaya!pic.twitter.com/9UJTvM2MVP","maqsood brother : i cant spot your wife, what happened?
sohail bhai : i will fry it and eat. pic.twitter.com/9UJTvM2MVP"
Bulandh awaaz se vote karohttps://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/668875083520151552 …,vote with confidence https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/668875083520151552
Prabhu promises to raise Indian Railways to global standards http://t.co/0uJBn0pJaS #RailBudget2015 #RailwayBudget #railway,prabhu promises to raise indian railways to global standards http://t.co/0uJBn0pJaS #RailBudget2015 #RailwayBudget #railway
@sayshardik ghar pe yaar,@sayshardik its in the house.
Nitish ji sarkaar nahi.. Agents ko chala rahe hai #NitishKaAgentPratyayaAmrit,sir nitish does operate the government but agents #NitishKaAgentPratyayaAmrit
@iamGunjanGrunge samaj ni aaya,@iamGunjanGrunge i didn't understand.
Bolte Hai 1 Hour Me Thik Hojaega ...,they say it will be fine in 1 hour.
"what's the difference in a  "" vow ""  (http/URL and a  "" promise ""  (http/URL @someUSER #tcot","what's the difference in a  "" vow "" and "" promise "" #tcot."
Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar !!!!! by Rajesh Seshadri :,sachin ramesh tendulkar!!! by rajesh seshadri.
Bharat humko jaan se pyara hai #GuessTheSonghttps://twitter.com/YoYoFunnySing/status/881242520654536704 …,we love india more than our lives #GuessTheSong https://twitter.com/YoYoFunnySing/status/881242520654536704
@iamGunjanGrunge ye @Atheist_Krishna sirf ladkiyo ki help karta hai,@iamGunjanGrunge this persom @Atheist_Krishna only help girls.
i wish it could be possible !  :),i wish it could be possible !
Ye chu bhi maan gaya baaki teeno sahi hai  https://twitter.com/ColdCigar/status/674473813845737472 …,this guy also agreed that rest of the three are right https://twitter.com/ColdCigar/status/674473813845737472 …
@Jal_Kukdi Ye bhi koi poochne ki baat hai ??,@Jal_Kukdi is it something to ask?
Arbaaz Khan smacked Salman Bhai in Pyaar kiya toh darna kya. Salman Bhai smacked Arbaaz in Dabangg. Hisaab barabar.,"arbaaz khan smacked salman brother in pyaar kiya toh darna kya. salman bhai smacked arbaaz in dabangg, all settled."
RT @gauravgarg1903 : @scotchism @ANI_news prashant kishor ne 2 saal pehle script pakda di thi . aaj tak vahi pel rahe h pm sahib .,"@gauravgarg1903 : @scotchism @ANI_news prashant kishor handed over the script 2 years ago, till today they are repeating the same content mr. pm."
@RowdyTalks woh hi baat hai! Ek zamaane mein laundiya hoti thi aur room mehenga,"@RowdyTalks thats the talk, there was a time when we had our girls but room were costly."
#Notebandi se 15 Din pehle company band ? Kya mazra h bhai ? Kiske paise safed kiye @AmitShah k launde ne ? #notebandi #RichardThaler,15 days before #Notebandi the company was shutted down? what a joke? whose money is did @AmitShah son made white? #notebandi #RichardThaler 
@DJVALABABU Grammar seekh lunga to apni behen ki shaadi karwaega mujhe ?,@DJVALABABU if i learnt grammer will you let me marry your sister.
@CloudOfBooze uski shaadi ho jane do pehle kamse kam,@CloudofBooze let him marry first atleast.
@vicky99564 @VivekMMisra @OfficeOfRG @narendramodi @tehseenp congress hi etna gir sakte hai . Jab Pappul Gandhi khud hi etna girte hai to ..,@vicky99564 @VivekMMisra @OfficeOfRG @narendramodi @tehseenp only congress can do such low thing.  when pappul gandhi is such a low personality.
@oothikicha hi Chetan bhagat sir,@oothikicha hi chetan bhagat sir.
@Strawberigloz chyaila Marathi boltes!!,@Strawberigloz you speaking marathi. 
mainland police repatriate wanted fugitives to taiwan: police on the chinese mainland on thursday repatriated 10 .  .  .  http/URL,mainland police repatriate wanted fugitives to taiwan: police on the chinese mainland on thursday repatriated 10.
Wish #JNU is in UP than slogans will be Bharat mata ki jai & vande mataram #YogiAdityanath,wished #JNU should be in up than the slogans will be long live mother india & vande mataram #YogiAdityanath.
@White_Crimes tum ye mere saath zabardasti kar rahe ho na? :-/,@White_Crimes you do it with me forcefully.
Anadita Patel's idol is Rahul Gandhi.,anadita patel's idol is rahul gandhi.
"Aaj fir jeene ki tamanna hai, aaj fir marne ka irada hai.","today i have desire to live, today i have intentions to die."
".@shekhargupta yes sir, 2014 to bahut purana ho gaya, 2002 bilkul taza-taza hai",".@shekhargupta yes sir, 2014 is too old, 2002 is really very fresh."
"@journojuno Tried for Jai Hind, par Jhand ho gayi hai.","@journojuno tried for jai hind, but things didn't worked out."
@KajuBadamChor khatti meethi nahi hai yeh. Hum log kampat bolte the,@KajuBadamChor this isn't sweet or sour. we speak kampat.
"@AnupamPkher "" sir as u sad ke rajniti kariye humne bhi ki hai raajniti "" I don't know about ur past but can c that now u r doing raajniti .","@AnupamPkher "" sir are you sad because of politics, we have also done politics"" i don't know about your past but can say that now you are doing politics."
@premlata_rai @Dishasatra Disha ki baat hi kuch aur hai,@premlata_rai @Dishasatra  there is something different about disha.
Bhaiii ...greatttt<3<3<3 amazinggg wonderfullll,"Brother great, amazing wonderfull"
"@White_Crimes 
Mere saath tum ye zabardasti karte ho na?","@White_Crimes
you do it with me forcefully?"
Hindustan ke Arvind Kejriwal ki Pakistan ke Arvind Kejriwal se mulakat.https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/711570909107073024 …,india's arvind kejriwal meets pakistan's arvind kejriwal . https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/711570909107073024
@PriyancaBajaj bahot acidity hui hai,@PriyancaBajaj too much acidity.
"""Dekho ji ye sab mile huye hain, ye Australia ki trick hai #IndvsUAE se attention divert karni ki, iski jaanch honi chaiye"" #AusvNZ","""see they are all teamed up, this is an australian trick just to divert attention from #IndvsUAE, it should be investigated."" #AusvsNZ"
@micky864 aur kiski baat kar raha hun,@micky864 i am talking about someone else.
http/URL price: i'd take vitali fight: david price says he would fight vitali k .  .  .  http/URL click-1st-link !  2win,"price: i'd take vitali fight: david price says he would fight vitali k, lick-1st-link!  2win"
@Sand_In_Deed chaabi wale khilaune acche aaye hue hain market me. Maine bhi meri bhatiji ko gift kiye the abhi.,@Sand_In_Deed the toys with keys are good in the market. i a also planning to gift this toy to my niece
Ye hai bharat ke sanskriti hameha bado ka samman karna https://t.co/1EsHXnSejZ,"this is the teaching of india, always respect elders. https://t.co/1EsHXnSejZ"
"RT @saswat28 : Famous Shiva Temple of Odisha . #MahaShivratri # "" @chandan9438 : Panchalingeswar temple , Nilgiri , Baleswar http://t .","@saswat28 : famous shiva temple of odisha. #MahaShivratri # "" @chandan9438 : panchalingeswar temple , nilgiri, baleswar."
@NehaT_ kya gaali di hai,@NehaT_ what an abuse.
Chhu ke bhag kachraaa chhu ke bhaaag.,touch and run garbage touch and run.
dd national hd kab ayega ?  ?,when will dd national hd come?
Inle bas ki baat nahi hai vishwas dila pana!Ye kewal #Notebandi jaisa disruption hi kar sakte hain jiska result zero hai !,its out of there limit to make someone trust them! they can only do disruption like #Notebandi which gives zero results.
Sab ka malik ek.,there is only one god.
"UAE toh jhanki hai, Ayodhya Mathura Kashi baaki haihttps://twitter.com/MEAIndia/status/632958318588260352 …","visited uae, ayodhya mathura kashi is left https://twitter.com/MEAIndia/status/632958318588260352 …"
Kaale kapdon waale aadmi ki aankhon mein paayi gayi vinashak shakti. Treta yug se hain jeevit'' #IfBatmanWasIndian,disastrous power found in a person wearing black clothes. this person is alive from treta yug #IfBatmanWasIndian
NRI hogaye magar chill nahi ho paaye.https://twitter.com/beingarryan/status/882973519264579584 …,became nri but no chill in life. https://twitter.com/beingarryan/status/882973519264579584 …
@balliawalebaba aaj ki party teri taraf se..,@balliawalebaba today's party is from your side.
"@ClickLOA @HITKPKD Comic #1: Rishte Mein Toh Hum Tumhaare Baap Lagte Hai, Naam Hai Lal HIT! #LalHITMovies","@ClickLOA @HITKPKD Comic #1: in relationship i am your father, the name is red hit! #LalHITMovies"
@akshaykanitkar hoga bhai.. UV pe bharosa rakho @Sarcaism,"@akshaykanitkar it will happen, please have faith in uv @Sarcaism"
Columbus Columbus chutti hai aayi. Aao koi naya mulk dhunde chalke bhaihttps://twitter.com/narendramodi/status/771723348648812544 …,columbus columbus holiday's have arrived. come lets go to another contient https://twitter.com/narendramodi/status/771723348648812544 …
"Hamare desh ko aage badhane vale, logo me utsah jagane, narendra modi ji ko bhagvan hamesha khush rakhe.","the people who takes our country forward, sparkes enthusiasm into people, god will always keep narendra modi happy."
@Delhitouch abhi block kar degi tujhe bhai ,) @drmalvika6
"@enjoyinhell na be, family me sab dekhte hai","@enjoyinhell no dude, everyone watches in family"
yaar tabhi mene jamia miliya me admission nahi liya even mera entrace bhi clear ho gya tha bt jo bhi ho do your best  .  .  :),"thats why i didn't took admission in jamia miliya even if i cleared the entrance exam, but whatever happens do your best."
"mujhe yahan chad nahi rahi, peene ke bawajood.",i am sober even i drunk a lot
@IndiaFinger bhai thanks.. Sab so gaye abhi,"@IndiaFInger thanks brother, everyone is sleeping"
Ab to aansu bhi nahi nikal rahe.,now water is not comming out of my eyes.
"annaji aapko bhi saath milkar try maarni chahiye .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . kya pata kuchh ho sake ,  jinki aap baat kar rahe hai ,  unko kaam karna to pahale sikhaye !  !  ! ","sir anna you should also join them and try, who knows something might happen, the person you are talking about first teach them how to work."
#260 : Hell yeah ! Scored . Before . Graduating .,#260 : hell yeah! scored before graduating
.@sonamakapoor Suno na sangmarmar ki ye minare.. Kuch bhi nahi hai........,"@sonamakapoor listen towers made of marbel, it is nothing. "
you changed not only delhi politics but also indian politics . you are real hero of indian politics .  i salute you arvind sir . i hope you are the next c . m .  of delhi .,you changed not only delhi politics but also indian politics. you are real hero of indian politics. i salute you arvind sir and i hope you are the next c.m of delhi.
"are aise hi tweet kiya, jaan loge kya ","i tweeted without thinking, goning to kill me."
"Chura liya hai tumne jo dil ko, paise nahi churana sanam.","you stole my heart, don't steal my money."
Ye aise log ladkiyon ko sar par chadhne ka mauka dete hai.https://twitter.com/DiaQuery/status/701436809855660032 …,these kind of people give chances to girl to ride on our brain. https://twitter.com/DiaQuery/status/701436809855660032 …
"""Yaa Allah ek baar to Modi ji ke muh se mera naam bulwa""

#PMSpeaksToArnabpic.twitter.com/XZUeoOEceB",""" oh god atleast one let modi speak my name""

#PMSpeaksToArnabpic.twitter.com/XZUeoOEceB"
tuko left out feel ho raha hai kya? tumko bhi stalk kar lunga main. Bas haan bol do ek baar.,are you feeling left out? i can stalk you also just say yes once. 
"having family pictures done on saturday with my 4 favorite girls !  hannah ,  katie  ,  shan and my tam !  can't wait !  life can't get any better ! ","having family pictures done on saturday with my 4 favorite girls ! hannah, katie, shan and my tam! can't wait! life can't get any better!"
"on my ym shit right now .  just finished listening to i am not a human being .  now going onto pink friday .  after this ,  hello careless world . ","on my yahoo messenger shit right now. just finished listening to i am not a human being. now going onto pink friday. after this, hello careless world."
@mrjagjit ummeed hai tweets padhke ulti acchese aati hogi.,"@mrjagjit i hope after reading tweets, vomiting would be easy."
1 Ladke Ne ek Ladki Ko Call Ki . Boy : I LOVE U Jaan . Girl : Sacchi . Boy : Mucchi . Girl : ek 100ka Recharge Krwa ... http://t.co/fBVr0axApf,1 boy called a girl. boy : i love you dear. girl : really. boy :  yes. Girl : please recharge 100 into my phone. http://t.co/fBVr0axApf
@emraanhashmi Today is Mahashivratri . Kya pharak padta hai,"@emraanhashmi today is mahashivratri, what difference does it make."
"Jiya Jale Jaan Jale, Naino Tale...https://twitter.com/soniandtv/status/854748538705555456 …","heart burning soul buring, in my eyes https://twitter.com/soniandtv/status/854748538705555456 …"
"@IScreamPunday kya stock karna hai mujh par? Let it be alcohol.
Stalk kar sakte ho tum jaise photos kiye","@IScreamPunday want to stalk me? let it be alcohol.
can you stalk the way you did with my photos."
ye waali acting to hm aaj v apply krte h akdum bindaas actress h hm iz role k =p =d,"i use this acting technique still now, i am amazing actress."
@KajuBadamChor Ye main kar chuka hu,@KajuBadamChor what i have done.
bahut bhagate the hame chalk aur stick(apni hi pitayi k liye :-p) aur hum bhi pura period ghum k hi aate the vapas:-p,we made chalk and stick run and we also used to wander the whole period.
"Ye deal bhi kya cheez hai! - Aamir Khan
Ye meal bhi kya cheez hai! - Sonakshi Sinha","this deal is such an amazing thing! - amir khan
this meal is such an amazing thing! - sonakshi sinha"
"#24 - Telugu Movie Theatrical Trailer | Suriya , Samantha , Nithya | A.R Rahman https://t.co/K6PtXsFwcP via @YouTube","#24 - telugu movie theatrical trailer | suriya , samantha , nithya | a.r rahman https://t.co/K6PtXsFwcP via @YouTube"
school ke din yaad aagaye (y),will remember the school days
"chahe kitni bhi types ki games aa jae .  .  .  p . c ps1 , 2 or anything .  .  .  but nothing can compete with this .  .  . ","doesn't matter now many types of game comes p.c, ps1,2 or anything but nothing can compete with this. "
@someUSER ok !  i hope jennette visit your city someday and you may have the chance to meet her :d,@someUSER ok! i hope jennette visit your city someday and you may have the chance to meet her.
guddu ji darpan to sahi likh lete  .  .  .  hindi bhi kamzor hai kya :p,"mr guddu atleast write mirror correctly, your hindi is also weak."
"SRK - Ye jo thode se hai paise.. Kharch tum par karu kaise.. ??

Juhi - PayTM karo..","srk - the small amount of money, how do i spent the money on you??

juhi - do paytm "
@roshd @chintskap Parda hai Parda ya Prada hai Prada?,@roshd @chintskap curtains is curtains or prada is prada?
"for second time ,  eagles make stop -- and commit a penalty .  pi on kendricks gives atl another 1st down .  groundhog day lives . ","for second time,  eagles make stop and commit a penalty . pi on kendricks gives atleast another 1st down.  groundhog day lives. "
best part is : sharma ji's son getting his ass kicked .  .  .  makes me feel better .  . ,)
Kal mera phone shera ke paas tha.,yestarday my phone was with shera.
Capital punishment by shooting in public should be awarded by law to send the message !! #KyaBiharMeinSarkaarHai ? https://t.co/0Lc4xNE4iR,capital punishment by shooting in public should be awarded by law to send the message!! #KyaBiharMeinSarkaarHai? https://t.co/0Lc4xNE4iR
@ek_samosa_dena haath mein kangan kaan mein baali bholobhali koi matwaalu banegi merrrri gharwaaaaali... Gore Gore,"@ek_samosa_dena bangals on the hand, ear rings on ears say something buddy do someone will become my bride."
"Main hoon na... aaah..
Bas aaj apna angel aayega, beer lekar zaroor aayega.","i am there
today our angel will come, he will definitely bring beer. "
"@Champ_Nikk Nitish ji ne pension plan liya hai kya
#GoodByeNitishKumar","@Champ_Nikk did nitish took a pension plan? 
#GoodByeNitishKumar"
yes she is god fearing .... but very fugly ! lo machaai ...,"yes she is god fearing, bit very fugly!"
@indiantweeter aane wale hafte? Done. Phone kar lunga,"@indiantweeter comming weeks? done, i will call."
"I love you @ShraddhaKapoor ek reply ki keemat tum kya jaano?
Ye Deepika ki line thi phir bhi.","i love you @ShraddhaKapoor you dont know the price of one reply?
but this line belongs to deepika."
@Lala_The_Don Nitishraaj me sare aaropi riha ho gaye #NitishKaNakliVikas,@Lala_The_Don in the period of nitish government criminals are bailed out. #NitishKaNakliVikas
@Marwaari Thanks bhai :),@Marwaari thanks bro.
"Gambhir be like ""International na sahi, kam se kam IPL toh achha khel lun Rohit ki tarah"" #KKRvRCB","gambhir be like ""not international, but atleast i will play ipl like rohit"" #KKRvRCB"
LOL.. Inhe bhi muft Burnol milega ab sehttps://twitter.com/VinitaDeshmukh/status/637908506574647296 …,"lol, they will also get free burnol https://twitter.com/VinitaDeshmukh/status/637908506574647296 …"
Toss jita .... Match jita ... #IndWins,won toss ... won match ... #IndWins
@shan_daar Mann se hain mulayam. Iraadein hai loha,@shan_daar soft by heart. Intentions are of steel
@huh_watnow chal chal chal mere haathi.. O mere saathi,@huh_watnow come come come with me...my partner
"aur mario ki 3rd stage me  , sidhi par batthak atka kr life bdana .  .  . ","in the third stage of mario, sit on the ladder and increase your health."
vijit agrawal .  .  bhai jazbaati ho gye tum to .  .  :p,vijit agrawal .. dude you got emotional 
#Modi main gandhi dikhega bashartey #Trump ko rule karne do .. : D,#Modi you will see me as gandhi if you let #Trump to rule
@runjhunmehrotra pehle bol 'yes I am shaani' phir batata hu,@runjhunmehrotra first say 'yes i am dude' then i will tell you
"@zoomphatak @ek_samosa_dena @friendlii_ghost sablog mujhe leads do, aapas mein jhagde mat karo","@zoomphatak @ek_samosa_dena @friendlii_ghost everone please give me leads, dont fight among yourself"
"this goes way too fast :o its been already a year that i saw avril lavigne in concert &lt;3 october 25 2011 ,  one of the best day of my life :d","this goes wat too fast, its been already a year that i sat avril lavigne in concert & it was october 25th 2011, one of the best day of my life"
rupee ke girne se yaad aaya sonia gandhi ke tbyat kaise hai # pappu :p,"just remembered after watching the rate rupee fall, how is sonia gandhi #pappu"
"are bhai  "" repidex ""  to rakh dete ek table pe :p","brother can you kkep ""repidex"" on one of the table"
Luke Ronchi ko bhi bowling kara do. Ek-do wicket wo bhi lele.,lelt luke ronchi bowl. let him also take one-two wickets.
Revelation drama amid #MahaShivratri on Colors ' Sasural Simar Ka ! @SSKOnColors @simar_ka http://t.co/9TaqGJUOt7 http://t.co/p7DVMYI1co,revelation drama amid #MahaShivratri on colors ' sasural simar ka ! @SSKOnColors @simar_ka http://t.co/9TaqGJUOt7 http://t.co/p7DVMYI1co
"RT @Babu_Bhaiyaa : Bhai @ArvindKejriwal ji , dhayn se dekhna ki asli CBI hi hai na ... Kahin Special 26 to nahi hai ... #Special26","rt @Babu_Bhaiyaa : @ArvindKejriwal, please watch carefully if its real cbi it might be special 26 #Special26"
"@MeetUunngLee tune Twinkle Khanna ko bhi nahi chhoda, dekho bhai @Alllahdin @ROFLaaLa iske deewaniyon ki tadaad badhti jaa rahi hai","@MeetUunngLee you didn't even left twinkle khanna, see brother @Alllahdin @ROFLaaLa total number of his lovers are increasing"
RT @MrsGandhi : Minister @nitin_gadkari stands in queue to board Nagpur-Delhi flight like any other ordinary citizen . True Aam Aadmi ! http :/,@MrsGandhi : minister @nitin_gadkari stands in queue to board nagpur-delhi flight like any other ordinary citizen. true common man!
khoob khao yaar.. Agli baar..,eat as much as possible next time
Ye minority ke mashaal se hamein zinda jalayenge.https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/240801666272743424 …,will burn us using the flames of minority https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/240801666272743424 …
@Mad_Mommy_ Wo supari denge.. Paan mujhse le lena..,@Mad_Mommy_ she will give betel take paan from me
modi ji aage badho pura desh aapke ssath hai.,modi move forward the whole country is supporting you
Nahi to apna bhai pata hi leta https://twitter.com/DefucktiveHumor/status/738984247017361408 …,our brother will make her his girlfriend https://twitter.com/DefucktiveHumor/status/738984247017361408 …
@lady_gabbar Abhi tak saat phere hue nahin hai. Abhi bhi waqt hai.,@lady_gabbar seven round isn't completed yet. there is still time.
@BetterCallSom bhai sambhal ke aajkal lady boy bohot ho gaye hai twitter pe @ColdCigar,@BetterCallSom careful brother now-a-days there are so may lady bois on twitter @ColdCigar
"Friday Faking Release: Dostana (*ing Rahul Gandhi, Akhilesh Yadav) http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/pics/friday-faking-release-dostana-ing-rahul-gandhi-akhilesh-yadav-19334 …","friday faking release: friendship (*ing rahul gandhi, akhilesh yadav) http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/pics/friday-faking-release-dostana-ing-rahul-gandhi-akhilesh-yadav-19334 …"
Joint ventures with major public sector companies for meeting requirements of new lines : Suresh Prabhu #RailBudget2015,joint ventures with major public sector companies for meeting requirements of new lines : suresh prabhu #RailBudget2015
iam not sure if #reggie realizes this but statistically gary carter is the 4th greatest catcher in the 100+ years of baseball #8 #kid #lgm,i am not sure if #reggie realizes this but statistically gary carter is the 4th greatest catcher in the 100+ years of baseball #8 #kid #lgm
Her bar mediaHe Pakistan koHar kii tarf ... Dhakelta hai .. ???,evertime  media pushes pakistan towards defeat?
4 fours in an over .  .  yaar koi umesh ko samjhao .  .  ki ye aus hai bangladesh nahi .  .  .,"4 fours in an over someone please explain umesh, its not bangladesh its australia"
@Atheist_Krishna Isiliye ( sadly ) I am perhaps the only woman jisey Kohli ko khelta dekh bhai wali feeling aati hai .,@Atheist_Krishna I am perhaps the only woman who feels like kohli is brother.
@tweeting_pal samaj ni aaya.. Pls samjhaa do,@tweeting_pal i didn't understood please can you explain
Ye Arjun Rampal ka duplicate lane ki kya jarurat thi. Itne paise me to wo khud hi aa jata. #BiggBoss9,was there any need to bring duplicate of arjun rampal. he would have came in this much amount of money. #BiggBoss9
@ArvindKejriwal @imVkohli India's son ... idhar bhi votes dikh rahi hain AAP ko .,@ArvindKejriwal @imVkohli india's son here also you are seeing votes.
Mujhe dar lag raha hai.,i am feeling scary.
gulaabo zara itr faila do.. Itr daal do thoda.. Khas wala..,gulaabo spread some prefume put some perfume the imported one.
"6 agencies ,  incl .  the bomb squad ,  were needed to dispose of hazardous waste at e .  10th st/post rd .  http/URL http/URL","6 agencies, including the bomb squad, were needed to dispose of hazadous waste at 10th post."
@BloodyKamina naraaz mat ho.. tere liye bacha ke rakhi hai,@BloodyKamina don't be angry i have saved some for you.
@premlata_rai @Atheist_Krishna ladki nahi pata tujhe koi? Tu kahan hai?,@premlata_rai @Atheist_Krishna do you know any girl? where are you?
@Being_Humor Beta iss baar to tu aage nikal gaya.. Agli baar dekh liyo,@Being_Humor kid this time you went ahead lets see next time https://twitter.com/dna/status/854416754172362756
"Ye keede hai, inko gaali na de insaan toh aur kya kare?https://twitter.com/dna/status/854416754172362756 …","they are insects, if humans doesn't abuse them then what to do?"
"""Kuch kuch horela hai Anjali, tereko ghanta nahi samajh aayega"" - SRk from Kurla",""" something is happening anjali, you wont understand"" - srk from kurla"
Ye most  foolest kya hota hai? Kabhi fursat mile to doosri kitaabein bhi padh liya karo. #RIPEnglish #TripleTalaq,what is most foolest? try reading different books when you are free. #RIPEnglish #TripleTalaq
Jawab @PMOIndia @AmitShah Ke Paas Nahin hae Tabhi To Developmnt Chod #SurgicalStrike Se #Demonetization Tak Sab Missile Daage Ja rahein Hain,@PMOIndia @AmitShah dont have answers that's except development they talk about #SurgicalStrike #Demonetization.
@SuchAMisfit aansu aa gaye. So much pain,@SuchAMisfit tears in my eyes. so much pain
.@JhaSanjay bhai tere to hai bhi nahi. LOL,@JhaSanjay you dont have it. lol
hahaha !  gazab imagination hai teri !,hahaha! you have amazing imagination!
ppl shud learn .  .  jai ho,people should learn
@priyal aap shadi shuda hai? </3 dil ke tukde hazaaar huwe,@priyal are you married? my heart shattered into thousand pieces
@akshaykanitkar  Ishq bina kya jeena yaara?,@akshaykanitkar why to live without love?
"@scratchysingh hahaa, paar ki nazar paaji","@scratchysingh hanaa, eyes of love"
"Aaj main Hooper, aasman neeche.","today i am hooper, sky is down."
Nafisa ki Surat achhi hai kya?,does nafisa has good looks.
HAHA! Chaliye intezaar hoga,haha! will wait.
kaha hai 15 lac  .,where is 15 lakhs.
@Ra_Bies isko badhakar 25+ kar do,@Ra_Bies tie him and make him 25+
"@Oinkoo katti, majaak udaaya","@Oinkoo breakup, made a joke."
"anyways ,  good morning .  did you know about khader adnan's lecture in ramallah tomorrow evening 7:00 pm in ramallah ?  do not miss it . ","anyways, good morning. did you know about khader adnan's lecture in ramallah tomorrow evening 7:00 pm in ramamllah? do not miss it."
"@someUSER a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband ,  but may only do so with her bare hands .  (hong kong)","@someUSER a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. (hong kong)"
Bend it like Baagha.,bend it like baagha.
isi khushi k mauke pe @thetanmay & sab AIB k team ko gaaliyan deke khushi manao #WontGiveItBack #IndvsSA,on the wonderful occasion enjoy by abusing @thetanmay & all aib team #WontGiveItBack #IndvsSA
@iSumitt haha @runjhunmehrotra bata do isko.. Sabse pehle Wait List mera hai,@iSumitt haha @runjhunmehrotra tell him that my wait list is first.
@maximustaurean lol nahi yaar over ho jayega.,@maximustaurean  lol no brother it is going to finish.
@MeetUunngLee tu do hafte pehle bhi milne wala tha,@MeetUunngLee you were supposed to meet me 2 weeks back.
@Untamed__Heart pyaar kiya to darna kya,@Untamed_Heart why to fear when you are in learn
@ROFLaaLa @Ra_Bies @Alllahdin main bhi hu ganooa,@ROFLaaLa @Ra_Bies @Allahdin i am also ganooa
RT @coolfunnytshirt : JE BAAT ! RT @htShowbiz : Mohit Raina celebrates #Mahashivratri on sets of Devon Ke Dev Mahadev http://t.co/67vQybpHSF,@coolfunnytshirt: je baat ! rt @htShowbiz : mohit raina celebrates #Mahashivratri on sets of devon ke dev mahadev  http://t.co/67vQybpHSF
@DefucktiveHumor Sonam Kapoor ke deewane,@DefucktiveHumor fan of sonam kapoor
"the best thing about walking dead returning is it means spartacus will be back soon too !  (dammit ,  starz site says january)",the best thing about walking dead returning is it means spartacus will be back soon too!
YES! aaja yaar mazze karte hai,yes! come lets have some fun
@Dr_M_G koi kaam nahi hai aaj isliye,@Dr_M_G there is no work today
@Miss_Ankiita chup ho jaa.. Spam aate hi honge @SRKswarrior1 @9ratna_9,@Miss_Ankiita just shut up... the spam must be comming @SRKswarrior1 @9ratna_9
Hahahaaaa.. Chutiya hai bhai ye kasam sehttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/621942651797934080 …,he is a moron i promise https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/621942651797934080
@Koustubh1 hume bhi dikhao,@Koustubh1 show to us also
@Koustubh1 kuch log hai @manish_rox_,@Koustubh1 there are some people @manish_rox_
"Mardon ki azaadi tak, jung rahegi jung rahegi. _/\_","till the freedom of men, the war will continue."
"Jise jiye tu main woh sama hu
#GuessTheSong","the moment you live is me
#GuessTheSong"
Bhaiyoo beheno.. Aaj raat 12 baje se Vodka bandhttps://twitter.com/ndtv/status/806066458853666816 …,"brothers and sisters, vodka is banned after midnight today"
@_Agathist deactivate karne ke baad ye hota hai,@_Agathist this is what happens when you deactivate
RT @S1dAddicteD : @ShraddhaKapoor in punjabi suit ... ek to aap inni cute or upar se punjabi suit .... waheguru .. waheguru https://t.co/phtviNx9TU,RT @S1dAddicteD : @ShraddhaKapoor in a punjabi suit ...you look much more cute in a punjabi suit  https://t.co/phtviNx9TU
@MeetUunngLee bhai mein teri baat kar hi nahi raha hu.. @_SandSurfer,@MeetUunngLee bro I was not even talking about you @_SandSurfer
photos: rihanna crowned carnaval queen: pop superstar visited the greystone manor supperclub wednesday night and was .  .  .  http/URL,photos: rihanna crowned carnaval queen: pop superstar visited the greystone manor supperclub wednesday night.
Darling bol kar mujhe pighlaane ki koshish na karo.,dont’t try to melt me by saying darling
"Ya allah, bhagwan aisi beti kisi ko naa de.https://twitter.com/mailpp/status/893775630126460928 …","Oh god, don’t give this type of daughter to anyone https://twitter.com/mailpp/status/893775630126460928 …"
RT @aisha_shabbir : @Pharmacist_awan darpook hai captain bhi team players bhi .. Rohit and Rania accha khel rahey thy phr bhi retired ker kay…,"RT @aisha_shabbir : @Pharmacist_awan bot captain and the players are cowards, Rohit and Raina were playing well but both got retired"
Yaar out kro ab inn chutiyon ko . Bahut hua #IndvsPak,"Its enough now, get this iodiots out.  #IndvsPak"
shaadi karane nahi bola hai.,I am not asking you to marry
"ye pehle ho chuka hai 
https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/356046515128639490 … @khushi2434","This has happened before
https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/356046515128639490 … @khushi2434"
@sonisinghall pagal hai saala,@sonisinghall he’s an idiot
"chargesheet kya "" Yeh raha combined judgement "" hairani ki baat hai judge sahiba bhi #jnu se thi 0","what's chargesheet, this is combined judgement...the thing to worry is that the judge was laso from #jnu"
Forging trip ?? Ispe to Modi ji gaye hi nahi kabhi https://twitter.com/Ravinaa_/status/633664172652294145 …,Forging trip ?? Modi didn’t go on that trip https://twitter.com/Ravinaa_/status/633664172652294145 …
aaj aapiye sirf rayta piyenge @MeetUunngLee @meetdspartan @Ankita_Shah8 @ArvindKejriwal,today you'll only drink raita@MeetUunngLee @meetdspartan @Ankita_Shah8 @ArvindKejriwal
"Type OM NAMAH SHIVAY ........... Ishwar satya hai , Satya hi Shiv hai , Shiv hi sundar hai .... #Happy #MAHASHIVRATRI ... http://t.co/aI8z95dxzM","Type OM NAMAH SHIVAY ........... Ishwar is truth , truth is Shiva , Shiva is beautiful .... #Happy #MAHASHIVRATRI ... http://t.co/aI8z95dxzM"
@imJr19 Ab bolne ko reh hi kya gaya hai,@imJr19 What’s there to say now?
@huh_watnow pyaar hua hai acidity nahi,@huh_watnow I am in love not having acidity
Teeno Padosiyon ki ghar wapsi ho gayee.. Hahahahaa,All three neighbours are back to their homes.. Hahahahaa
Pandhi ko mirchi lagi https://twitter.com/GauravPandhi/status/752860438803525633 …,Pandhi got burned https://twitter.com/GauravPandhi/status/752860438803525633 …
Badi zor se susu aai hai.,I wan’t to pee so badly.
@Insane_chorri ab tujhe kya hua ??  @iamGunjanGrunge,@Insane_chorri what happened to you now??  @iamGunjanGrunge
"Matlab khud maro phir, dusron ki kyu maarte ho?https://twitter.com/DailyYeats/status/691365373321568258 …","first you die, then you also affect other people?https://twitter.com/DailyYeats/status/691365373321568258 …"
bhai .   .  ek do model maine khud bhi banaye the .  .,"bro, I also made two-three models"
@sagarcasm Bhide aise photos daalta hai? :D LOL!,@sagarcasm Why does Bhide upload such pictures? :D LOL!
@BabaFirki tere andar ka bangaali jaag gaya na? @gurudutt26,@BabaFirki has the bengali in you risen? @gurudutt26
"@Atheist_Krishna @akshaykanitkar @sagarcasm ye maine kiya tha, trend nahi hua. Trend karayenge isko","@Atheist_Krishna @akshaykanitkar @sagarcasm I did this earlier, it didn’t got trending. Get it trending."
agr tu itna handsome h to vo bechaariya milte he ignore kyu krne lgi  ?  ?  ?  ?  -_-,"if you are that handsome, why did she ignore you as soon as she saw you ?  ?  ?  ?  -_-"
"Sir aap bhi topi pehen lo, apne muh par.https://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/323348440883027968 …","Sir you too wear hat, on your face.https://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/323348440883027968 …"
"@TheKnownymous yaar, sir mat bola kar _/\_","@TheKnownymous bro, you don’t need to call me Sir."
@Psychopath_Oo @BindasChori @KyaUkhaadLega Bilkul sahi baat. Main bhi apne driver ko bolta ki woh ilzaam apne sar lele.,@Psychopath_Oo @BindasChori @KyaUkhaadLega damn right. I would have told the same thing to my driver to take charges on himself.
"south africa ke captain baar baar dhawan ko yea yaad dila rahe hein ki hum pakistan ki team nahi hein be ,  sirf dress hi hari hai .  .  .  .  :)","south african captain keeps telling Dhavan that we are not pakistani team, only our dress is green .  .  .  .  :)"
@kachra_peti jamane gaye par aise log abhi bhi hai yaar #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,@kachra_peti these type of people still exist #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar
Love u sir love u soo much urs I'ts beautyful vedio ...,"I love you very much sir, the video is beautiful."
Still better than Sanjeev Kapoor ki rasoi.,Still better than Sanjeev Kapoor’s cuisine
"Bangladesh ko to hara diya, ab Australia ke saamne aise khelenge to gaand maar lenge wo log.","Bangladesh is defeated, but Australia is going to be a hard team to be defeated"
Ab ki baar Bihar bachao #ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao,save Bihar this time #ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao
"Kent deta hai sab se shuddh paani, ussi se Esha ka muh dhoya hai magar fark nahi pada.","Kent gives purest water, it doesn’t matter if Isha has washed her mouth with it."
Mere ghar ka khaana sabse best hai. Food bloggers bhi street food ki tareef karte hain. #TweetsLikeGareebGuy,food from my home is the best. Food bloggers also praise street food. #TweetsLikeGareebGuy
@HITKPKD Tumhara bachna mushkil hi nahi na mukin hai. #LalHITMovies http://bit.ly/1CoC7ZE   Lal HIT.,@HITKPKD your son is out of hand #LalHITMovies http://bit.ly/1CoC7ZE   Lal HIT.
Ap ne kya kia h Jo log itne bure coments de rhe han.mje ni pta.kya ap btae ge?,"What have you done that people are posting so much negative comments, tell me, I don’t know?"
@hitennarendra aap bachpan se hi whiskey pee rahe hai ?,@hitennarendra are you also drinking whiskey from childhood?
"Bura na maano, Modi hai.","Don’t get hurt, its modi"
@tweeting_pal wo hamare neta Piyush bhai ko pareshan kar raha tha,@tweeting_pal our leader is annoying piyush bhai
Kuch bevkuf log abhi se PM banne ki soch rahe he . Iska @NitishKumar or @ArvindKejriwal se koi sambandh nahi he . #SoniaBribedMedia,Some idiot people alraedy want to become PM. This isn't related to @NitishKumar or @ArvindKejriwal #SoniaBribedMedia
teri baat sun kar ye let gayepic.twitter.com/6WK2KHPegt,He laid down after listening to you pic.twitter.com/6WK2KHPegt
Yeh wala accha tha. Aur sunaohttps://twitter.com/mazumdar_sid/status/841693923256877056 …,"This one was great, tell more.https://twitter.com/mazumdar_sid/status/841693923256877056 …"
@arorakim Na laana is desh laddoo,@arorakim Don't bring ladoo in this country
RT @kevalvora8 : Leo wins the Oscar Aur kya chahiye ❤❤,"RT @kevalvora8 : Leo wins the Oscar, what do you want more"
"just kidding, saat janam ka saath nibha le. ","just kidding, keep the bond for seven lives"
ye hota mere yaha jab sab ek sath match dekhte hai .  .  .  lol,this happens with me when everyone watches a matches ..lol..
aam aadmi modi ke saath hai .  .  .  .  . pls aisa samajhne ki galti ye naa kare .  .  .  .  . bjp means desh ka sainik .  .  .  .  .  . aagey badho,common man is with modi.....plz don't make mistake of thinking this.....bjp means the nation's soldier...move forward
#IndvsPak #CWC15 yr tez mar ... raina,#IndvsPak #CWC15 hit hard... raina
Chalo bhaiyo.. Aata hu 2 ghante me.. Tum log sambhal lena,Guys..I'll be back in 2 hours...You guys handle it
"@BabaFirki tu bata, nakhre tere hi hote hai auraton ki tarah","@BabaFirki you tell me,you have tantrums like a women"
"Lageta hein #Indra _ bhagvan bhi #jio ka Sim le liye hein """,I think #Indra _ bhagvan tpp got #jio Sim
Wapas aa jaao madam. Subah ho gayi hai.https://twitter.com/kavita_krishnan/status/626367292885102592 …,go back to sleep ma'am. it's morning already. hai.https://twitter.com/kavita_krishnan/status/626367292885102592 …
kaha hooo vai? ajao or intezar nehi hota,where are you? come fast i can't wait more anymore
abhi achievement hui hai bohot badi.. abhi nahi,it's a big achievement now
LOPESH phone kahan hai???,lopesh where is the phone?
"ye  "" sharmas ""  hi class ke padhaku bacho me kyo gine jaatey the/hai ?  ?  ?  meri class me bhi sare toppers sharma ya joshi hi the .  .  :(",Why are 'sharmas' one of the studious guys in school? my class toppers were sharmas and joshis only.
@Fussy_Ca saari cute ladkiyo ko aaj hi karde bday wish,@Fussy_Ca all cute girls have to be wished happy birthday today.
lo @HuffPostIndia ab to Reema ne bhi bil diya,@HuffPostIndia now reema also has given a bill.
@AdvancedMaushi saale tum playboy ho.. Sab pata hai humko,"@AdvancedMaushi you are a playboy, we know everything."
Aditya Pun-Choli ke peeche kya hai?https://twitter.com/HTMumbai/status/598511541604880387 …,what's behind aditya pun-choli? https://twitter.com/HTMumbai/status/598511541604880387 …
HINDUSTAN ZINDABAD THA. ZINDABAD HAI. AUR ZINDABAD RAHEGA !! #IndvsPak,Hail India
"@Tweepshikha banao banao ahr khana banao, gharwalon ko khush rakho. Safa sukhi raho. Tathasthu. ","@Tweepshikha keep making food, keep impressing your parents, stay happy forever. Blessings "
"Haath aate hi nikal jaane wali cheez:
- Salary
- Jawani
- GF","things which slip out of the hand:-Salary, Youth, GF"
@herecomessammy online shopping hai ya Sachin Tendulkar ki har chiz ka record hai!,@herecomessammy is it online shopping or sachine tendulkar's every record
"#GST ke liye raat 12 baje Parliament khola jaata ""hai lekin kisaano ke liye ek min baat nahi karne dete: Rahul Gandhi in Banswara (Rajasthan)",#the parliament is being opened at 12 but no one wants to speak about farmers for even a minute: Rahul Gandhi in Banswara (Rajasthan)
bas #Notebandi aur #GST ke name pr corporate & Vip k Bhala krne ke liye h bas #TripleTalaq,#Notebandi and #GST are only for the benefit of corporate and vip #TripleTalaq
"Kejri: Iss ladki ne mere saamne muh kyu cover kiya hai
Dr: Sir muh pe gaali sunoge.. Achcha lagegapic.twitter.com/rgxlUAB2PN","Kejri: Why is she covering her face in front of me.Dr: would you like to get abused on your face, would it feel good?pic.twitter.com/rgxlUAB2PN"
@iam_Bhavya itni padhai :-( oye writer to ban gaye kyunki thoda bahut waqt to doc . aur eng . bhi nikal lete hain :-),@iam_Bhavya this much study!:-( you became writer even engineers and doctors manage to get some time off)
@Integrated_me ek ladki ka profile pic like kiya to kisi ne nichey comment kar diya...neeraj ji aap bhi ye shauq rakhte hain.,@Integrated_me liked a girl's profile picture and also commented below...neeraj do you also do this type of things
@impulsivesoul Tum kar rahe  ho,@impulsivesoul you are doing it
RT @WMPOLIN : @hira_Awan28 congrats yaar .... Pak ne aj bohot accha batting kiya ....,RT @WMPOLIN : @hira_Awan28 congrats friend .... Pak's batting was good today....
Bitcoin toh late hogaya ab Ripple me invest kare ?,"being late about bitcoin, should we invest in ripple ?"
Woahhh .... Congratulations @SrBachchan #LifeTimeAchievement .. abhi bahut sey mukaam abhi baaki hain ... keep ROCKING ! https://t.co/DPkCdzfCfT,Woahhh .... Congratulations @SrBachchan #LifeTimeAchievement .. much milestones to complete ... keep ROCKING ! https://t.co/DPkCdzfCfT
Bhopal police ko dekh kar sab line me lag jaate hai chup chaap #BhopalEncounter https://twitter.com/KanchanGupta/status/799232041552228352 …,everyone gets in line after seeing bhopal police#BhopalEncounter https://twitter.com/KanchanGupta/status/799232041552228352 …
chaand to dikha diya na tumko. Ye kyu kar rahe ho mere saath?,"I have shown you the moon, why are you doing this with me?"
"Behan @RanaAyyub, sir @AnupamPkher ne real Govinda ke sath kam kiya hai isliye duplicate Govinda @BDUTT ko bhav nahi dete","Sister @RanaAyyub, sir @AnupamPkher have worked with real govinda hence he doesn't care about Duplicate Govinda @BDUTT "
parliament hamesha padarshan #Hungama hotahai unko kaise pata kb tykse chalega ur Stagit rahega Iwith #Sachin,"ther's always chaos in the parliament, how would he know to be stable #Sachin"
hahaha.. ab to samajh hi gaye honge,hahaha..you must have understood 
bhai kitna realistic cartoon banata h .  .  .  muje doubt h k hum shayad ek hi claas me the .  .  .  .  .,"bro, you make very realistic cartoon, I think we were in the same class"
this one is the good .  . nahh noo .  . better .  . sunoo .  . better se jyada wale ko kya bolte he .  . haan .  . best till now :d,this one is the good..no bro...better....listen...what do we call more better...yes..best till now
"koi dusraa naam nai mila kya, is se pehle bhi Hero naami kayi filme pit chuki hai..","didn't you get any other name, hero named films have been flopped before"
"Husbands should be like Vim bar, gale kam aur chale zyada.","Husbands should be like Vim bar, should last more"
RT @sailorsaurabh : Great job by railway ministry . Mr. Suresh Prabhu setting a benchmark of custoner service for other ministries .... https :/,RT @sailorsaurabh : Great job by railway ministry . Mr. Suresh Prabhu setting a benchmark of customer service for other ministries .... 
"Hey guys "" iss sal itne patakhe fode ki #SupremeCourt v sharma jaye ..",this years there'll be such surprises that the supreme court would be amazed
Kahte hai hum ko pyar se outrage wale.,they call us outragious with love
Doodhwala aagaya neend nahi.,Milkman will arrive but sleep won't
@ItsARipper Ab roke hot kya jab India le gayi game !,"@ItsARipper crying will change nothing, india won the game"
@brawling_virago dono single ho to dono shaadi kar lena  @TrulyMonica,@brawling_virago If you both are single then get married @TrulyMonica
scnd announcmnt-- 5 ladkon ke saath jo 15 bachche gaye hain wo wapis aa jaein !  !  !,scnd announcement the 15 children who went with 5 boys should come back
"A neutral journalist is more like Mr Katju, so government ki bhi leta hai aur vipaksh ki bhi.","A neutral journalist is more like Mr Katju, he roasts both government and opposition"
i love you salman sir...aap ki movie dekh raha hu abhi judawa ..,i love you salman sir...I am watching your movie judawa now..
Yeh padh ke aap kya khush ho rahe apne bi koi aachi service nai di hai #jio 4 G #Jio @reliancejio,"why are you getting pleased after reading this, your service also wasn't good#jio 4 G #Jio @reliancejio"
@ROCKINGRAMLAL nothing kuch nahi !! Sab Ling girls ko underestimate karthe hai,@ROCKINGRAMLAL nothing is nothing !! everyone underestimates Ling girls
@Ra_Bies sir ladkiya ka RT kar rahe ho.. hamara bhi kardo..pseudo feminist ho aap bhi,@Ra_Bies sir you are doing girls' RT.. also do outs..you are also pseudo feminist
"Main bhi Oats, Goats kuch bhi promote kar lunga bas dhang ke paise de do yaar.","i would also promot oats, goats etc, just give me right amount of money"
"@zoomphatak itne bhari pun mat kiya kar, dar lagta hai","@zoomphatak don't do such heavy puns, it scares me"
"Seriously? 
Abhi tujh mein kahin baaki thodi si bhi hai buddhi? https://twitter.com/sonunigam/status/778037206900408320 …","Seriously? 
Do you have any mind left? https://twitter.com/sonunigam/status/778037206900408320 …"
plz ap prem patel ki help kijiye plzzzzz.,please help prem patel
Kamzor dilke aur garbhvati mahilayein na padhein.pic.twitter.com/klwvDoLcPs,pregnant women and faint hearted shouldn't read this..pic.twitter.com/klwvDoLcPs
comparison- abey tujhe kitne laddu mile ?  bas 1 packet .  .  .  maine to 3 packet le liye .  ayieeee,camparison- how many ladoos did you get? only 1 packet? I got 3 packets..yes..
kya koi janta hai k  .  .  .  .  .  soniya italy mai bar dancer thi  .  .  aaj desh chala rahi hai  .  .  wtf,does anyone know..sonia was a bar dancer in italy..today she's running a country
@Sarcaism vikas bhi sirf tabhi ayega. lalu ko harna hoga. #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar,@Sarcaism developement will happen only then..we have to defeat lalu #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBiharde
Ek kam Karo #gst return file @BJP4India @arunjaitley @AmitShah sabhi k ghar ek ek copy bhej do Samaj lo aapaka return file Ho gaya,"Do this one thing #gst return file @BJP4India @arunjaitley @AmitShah send one copy each, consider your return filed."
@White_Crimes beech mein kuch nahi hai kya?,@White_Crimes is there nothing done in between?
RT @MANISHAINSAN2 : @Gurmeetramrahim Yeaaaahhhh Aap aagye #MSGmissionHumanity,RT @MANISHAINSAN2 : @Gurmeetramrahim yeah you came. #MSGmissionHumanity
cbse never delays marksheets u pervert  !  !  !  must b ur school fault  .,cbse never delays marksheets you pervert  !  !  !  must be your school's fault  .
@BrushUrTeeth_03 hadh hoti hai,@BrushUrTeeth_03 there is a limit
"*Udta Punjab scene*

Man 1: ""Drugs ka consignment kahan pahuchana hai?""

Man 2: ""Censor board ne jagah ka naam batane se mana kiya hai""","*Udta Punjab scene*

Man 1: where to deliver the drug's consignment

Man 2: ""Censor board told not disclose the location"
@Rahul_saffron sirf Modi hi laa sakte hai bihar ko uddhar k raste pe #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra,@Rahul_saffron sirf only modi could bring bihar on the path of developement#NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra
"@Miss_Ankiita tu to gori hai.
Tu south Indian kaise ho sakti hai ??","@Miss_Ankiita you are white.
hou could you be south indian??"
waise tu aagaya wapas ya nahi?,by the way will you return or not?
"#Vadra ki zameen nahi le paye toh gussa garibo pe nikal rehe he #LandAcquisitionBill , Priyanka allready send a threat to HP govt @ravishndtv","#Cadra doesn't have the land, the poor are getting suffered due to #LandAcquisitionBill, priyanka already sent the threat to HP govt @rashidndtv"
@Gurmeetramrahim jiv htya pr rok lgana ki advise dena #MSGmissionHumanity,@Gurmeetramrahim advise to ban animal killing#MSGmissionHumanity
Aero-09 !!. Pawan Tez dekh pehle kya kya hota tha aero m :P,Aero-09 !!. Pawan Tez look what used to happen in aero before
"@divyamisra2  no more fret 
Dekhna zaroori hai: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI … #LagGayiVaat 
Shine","@divyamisra2  no more fret 
watching is mandatory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI … #LagGayiVaat 
Shine"
"A complete wish sounds like this  ""Eid Mubarak Bhai...biryani kab khila raha hai?""","A complete wish sounds like this  ""Eid Mubarak Bhai.. when are you having us a biryani?"""
.@msisodia tab tak paani ka level senior se bhi oopar chala jayega sir,.@msisodia water level would have beem risen over the senior level by then
Aaj Dhoni jitayega. Ye tweet mark kar lo.,"today dhoni will make us win, mark this tweet"
@Being_Humor Bas Kareena bohot gandi lag rahi thi,@Being_Humor Bas Kareena was looking bad
y d hell u look fr our chappals ..... u mr/miss showoff please stop confessing ... u r making the page boring :P,why the hell you look from our chappals ..... you mr/miss showoff please stop confessing ... you are making the page boring :P
@Madan_Chikna Surname Sahab hai jaise aapka Saheb hai. Raj Saheb. Gulzar Sahab.,@Madan_Chikna Surname is Sahab just like yours is Saheb . Raj Saheb. Gulzar Sahab.
@zoomphatak lol.. Mat kar joke hai ye,"@zoomphatak lol.. don't do it, this is a joke"
"Paise ka khel babu bhaiyya, zameer to kab ki bech di hai.","its a game of money, i sold the land already"
@nautankii_saala Humare baniya ke yahaan kilo mein milta hai.,@nautankii_saala we get this in kilo's at our vendor
Salman sir hme pta h. W8,Salman sir we know
"@RAVIMISRA4 Mujhe nahi kiya, par NDTV ne pehle dusron ko kiya hai. @SreenivasanJain","@RAVIMISRA4 it didn't happen with me, but NTV has done it before with others @SreenivasanJain"
Waise bhi I support #MakeInIndia,anyway i support #MakeInIndia
@friendlii_ghost aansu aavi gaya,@friendlii_ghost made me cry
@yganesh0208 accha woh gufran Hain koi nahi .. Bas bol raha end the topic .,@yganesh0208 he was just telling to end the topic
"@DesireMaze some sad list yaa, aise ladkiyon ke list mein kabhi nahi aaya main :'(","@DesireMaze some sad list , I was never in list of such girls"
@sardanarohit .... Aaj #JNU ke desh bhakt #republicday celebrate kar raha hai ya nhi ??? ya abhi tak unko azaadi nhi mili !!!,@sardanarohit .... Aaj #JNU students are celebrating #republicday or not ?or they aren't free yet!!!
@AntiquityBlue bas ab kya kahe...,@AntiquityBlue what could i say now?
maa ka koi todd nahi ho sakta :-),there's no alternative for mother
bollywood ne bachchon ko barbaad kar diya hai .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . satyanaash,bollywood has wated children's lives
Happy Mahashivratri to all . Shivji sabko sahi raah dikhayen . Shivay Shivay Shivay,Happy Mahashivratri to all . Shivji would direct everyone to right path. Shivay Shivay Shivay
"staffroom khud me hi ek fish market hai aur ulta hume bolte the  "" this class is like a fish market ""  :3","staffroom is fishmarket itself, and they tell us that class is fishmarket"
@SrBachchan kya sir itna khali time kiske paas hai. Waise Abhishek bhai dhundh sakte hain.,@SrBachchan sir who has this much free time?. Abhishek can find some by the way.
@Nagendr_Sharma_ Jai Shri Krishna ! Thank u ! #MahaShivratri ki Shubha kamanaye ! OmNamaShivaya http://t.co/abFHQ7KGjP,@Nagendr_Sharma_ Jai Shri Krishna ! Thank u ! happy #MahaShivratri! OmNamaShivaya http://t.co/abFHQ7KGjP
tune joote mein anar kyu jalaya?,why did you burn pomogranade in shoe?
"Sikander ne poras se ki thi ladayi, jo ki thi ladayi toh main kya karun?  - Sanju Babahttps://twitter.com/AmarUjalaNews/status/728125398052016128 …",Sikander fought with posar?why should i care?  - Sanju Babahttps://twitter.com/AmarUjalaNews/status/728125398052016128 …
pls bhai kuch btao ...BB ke bare me,please tell me something about bb
"@UPGovt @yadavakhilesh 
Great progress Sir. Iss baar bhi aap kuch nahi karoge. 
#DismissKushinagarDM https://twitter.com/Atheist_Krishna/status/792276747513233409 …","@UPGovt @yadavakhilesh 
Great progress Sir. This time you won't do anything #DismissKushinagarDM https://twitter.com/Atheist_Krishna/status/792276747513233409 …"
@tweetingsourav daru to theek hai.. Rahul ka bhashan sun kar saara nasha utar jaega,"@tweetingsourav alcohol is okay, it'll wear off after listening to rahul's speech."
@DrShobha Maam aap aa rahi hai ?,@DrShobha Ma'am are you coming?
@Psilosophy @vikaspgoel @SujitPatel99 followers samajh kar hum kaunsa chunav ladne wale the. Acha lagta hai itne log tak baat pahunchti hai,"@Psilosophy @vikaspgoel @SujitPatel99 we are followers, not going to stand in any election. It feels good that you know it"
@sahiljsodhia bahot pyari hai yaar,@sahiljsodhia you are too cute.
@slimswamy vides main bhi aloo kha rahe ho miyaan? Kuch broccoli khate,@slimswamy you are eating potatoes in foreign countries?some eat broccoli..
tu sisters aur brothers bahut pyar karte?,do you love your brothers and sisters?
U shud feel lucky . If I was ur friend ... id have snatched the bedsheet and rode away .,U should feel lucky . If I was your friend ... i'd have snatched the bedsheet and rode away .
"*Somewhere in Delhi*

Wife: ""Promise karo kabhi mera transfer nahi hone doge""

Husband: ""Tum bhi wada karo roz mere liye rayta banaogi""","*Somewhere in Delhi*

Wife: ""Promise me you won't let me transfer""

Husband: ""you promise me first to make raita everyday"""
"Pyaar tou honna hi TTA
(Remo)",love was inevitable.
@Punjaabi_Tadkaa Shift hote hi dhoka de diya!,@Punjaabi_Tadkaa betrayed as soon as you shifted..
@FreeCharge  recharge bhi.. Maze bhi #MyCaptionForFreeCharge,@FreeCharge  recharge too.. fun too#MyCaptionForFreeCharge
"bilkul sahi hai bhai 0 jaise hamare liye Nation first hai "" waise hi #trump ke liye 0","correct, nation always comes first.as it is for #trump"
ninda chacha ka bhatija aa gaya @kachra_peti @Fussy_Ca @miss_cherished,ninda uncle's nephew has arrived@kachra_peti @Fussy_Ca @miss_cherished
@Madan_Chikna abhi dekhne to de :/,@Madan_Chikna let me see now..
@WHW_Heisenberg abhi match jitwane do,@WHW_Heisenbernow win the match
@PoojaMissra hotel kyu jaenge,@PoojaMissra why should you go to hotel
"jada pine se accha , todi si piyo na bina pani ke , paise ki bhi bachat aur pani ki bhi. kya bolte ?","instead of drinking more, drink a little without water..what do you say.."
@MANJULtoons Aur issi gussey me hum dekhte bhi nahin : ),@MANJULtoons we don't look through this anger
"lol, ye toh poora kala hai bhai","lol, he is all black"
@DefucktiveHumor Nitish bihar ko apni jaagir samajte hai! Laloo ko apna damad #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra,"@DefucktiveHumor Nitish thinks bihar is his territory, Laloo thinks it as his son in law #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra"
IT wale sab pata kar lenge..  @IncomeTaxIndia,IT people will get to know everything@IncomeTaxIndia
vaise luncher paji kaha hai ?  woh school nahi jate kya ?,by the way where is luncher paji ?  doesn't he go to school ?
@bizzarebhide @Dishasatra andar se bhi,@bizzarebhide @Dishasatra also from within
kabi kabi to doosri class se dandaa laane ko b bolte they .  .  :-),sometimes they used to told us to get rod from other classes
Tumhare kya lage hai?,Who is he to you?
"Guy - Bhaisahab, ye Bandra east kahan hai? 
Sanjeev Kapoor - Aage se 2nd left, fir circle se right aur namak swaad anusar.","Guy - hey, where is bandra east? 
Sanjeev Kapoor - 2nd left, then right from circle and salt according to the taste."
@lovelyricha1 #CrackerNACrackKAR bolne wale ki baat mat sun,@lovelyricha1 #CrackerNACrackKAR don't listen to the person who's been telling
@BrushUrTeeth_03 Party to banti hai,@BrushUrTeeth_03 Party should happen
@vikrantkumar pine ke baad sab girls hostel ke gate pe jate the . Bahut nautanki karte the . Police na rahe to jane kya ho jaye @AnubhaShukla7,"@vikrantkumar being drunk, people show up at girls hostel in night, what would happen without police@AnubhaShukla7"
@divyaszaika kya bakwaas tweet karti hai tu yaar,@divyaszaika your tweets are rubbish
yahi ek dava hai thand ki .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . baki ke to side effect hai,"this is only cure for cold, everything else is a side effect"
yu toh main batlata nahi .  . par fikkar teri karta hu main maa .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .,I don't tell this.. but i care a lot about you mother
Kholi ke wajah se captainship chori hai ..,he left captainship because of kohli
@MeetUunngLee samjha woh mujhe! :P,@MeetUunngLee I understood that
aise manhoos har jagha pe hote hain or wo jab aise score puchte hain toh koi nahi batata .  .  .,"this type of wretched people exist everywhere, no one tells them score when they ask"
"@perky_girl16 uske liye tumhara single homa zaroori hai, samjho baat ko.","@perky_girl16 for that we need to be single, understand this"
Bose ke speaker zyada achche haihttps://twitter.com/manakgupta/status/787668843632091136 …,Bose speakers are better https://twitter.com/manakgupta/status/787668843632091136 …
tere paas poison khareedne ke paise the? :'( aur tune mujhe 2 rupye udhaar dene se mana kar diya?,do you have money to buy poison? (and you refused to lend me 2 rupees)
"ek baar to meri aankho main bhi aanu aa gaye  ,  ,  waah :d:d",one time i got tears in my eyes too...watch
"hahaha koi dharam imaan nhi hota sir logo ka ,  balak guddu pe itna zulum .  .  .  ghor andher .  .  :-d :-p","hahaha, there is no religion and faith in this type of people, sir, .."
"lol, so dumb this bhaiyya is ya, duzn even know whoz edshireen ya, gawaar hai anju chal doosri shop mein chlte hai ya","lol, brother this is so dumb, doesn't even no who is edsheeran, so illiterate, anju let's go to some other shop"
look at shan .  muh chupa k baitha hai :p,"look at shan, he's sitting there hiding his face"
Yaar ek ladki hai ! Haan ! Sachi ! Ek naya crush ! 💞 Aree yaar sachi ! Okay check out @ZaalimGF trailer This girl- @meprachimishra #gorgeous 👰,there's one girl ! yes ! really !  Okay check out @ZaalimGF trailer This girl- @meprachimishra #gorgeous
@akshaykanitkar bhai @BeingSalmanKhan Sunil pe SUV chada do,@akshaykanitkar bhai @BeingSalmanKhan run a suv over sunil
haha kya haal chaal hai?,"haha, what is going on? "
@LoKarloUnfollow Hahahaa.. Bhai itni mehnat IIT ke time kar leta.. to aaj pata nahi kaha hota tu,"@LoKarloUnfollow Hahahaa.. you should have done this much of hardwork at the time of IIT, you'd be somewhere else today.."
Chudi nahi ye mera... Dil hai.,this is my heart not bangel
u r simply superb #garbagebin,you are simply super #garbagebin
Aaj match hai kya ..??,Is there a match today?
"last hectic day in office b4 3 weeks in asia .  1st to ifeat in singapore .  then taiwan ,  hk ,  china . then 3 wks of jet lag ! gets to me every time ! ","last hectic day in office before 3 weeks in asia .  first to defeat in singapore .  then taiwan ,  hongkong ,  china . then 3 weaks of jet lag ! gets to me every time ! "
@tweeting_pal gf ne dhoka nahi diya hai.. Bas naraaz hai..,@tweeting_pal gf hasn't betrayed me..she's just upset
@_SandSurfer bhai Gujarat me baaris ho rahi hai @PJ_CRACKER,@_SandSurfer its raining in gujarat @PJ_CRACKER
"Log roz rang badal k jite hai "" aur holi k din inhe colour se allergy ho jati hai !","people behave differently like changing colours everyday, and they get allergy on the holi"
"Tag karo kisiko, main kisi ka bhai nahi.","tag someone, i am not anyone's brother"
Barha aaye the humse panga lene . By the way 18 th ko phir se tv phorh ke video utube par dal dena . #Surgicalstrike ke liye tayyar raho,"Barha came to challenge us, by the way break your tv again on 18th and put it on youtube, be ready for #Surgicalstrike"
"DHONI , SIRF IPL MEIN SHER BANO , AAP . IDIOT . #WTFDHONI #CWC15 #IndvsSA","dhoni, you play well only in ipl, idiot, #WTFDHONI #CWC15 #IndvsSA"
Aaj Yograj Singh khush to bohot honge #RRvsCSK,"yograj singh, you must be happy today #RRvsCSK"
@sudhirchaudhary @ZeeNews wake up india bahuat accha program hai,@sudhirchaudhary @ZeeNews wake up india is a very good program
@YearOfRat LOL! Inka adhikaar yeh hi hai ki purushon ki maare,@YearOfRat LOL! to hurt men is only right..
ab ye kaun hai?,who is this now?
@starz_ahead Dar ke aage Jeet hai  Satyendra Verma has proved it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tybez0kwACg … … #NaamBanteHainRiskSe @MountainDewIn,@starz_ahead there's a victory beyond fear..Satyendra Verma has proved it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tybez0kwACg … … #NaamBanteHainRiskSe @MountainDewIn
"Sorry, mujhe laga raat ke 1 baje hai.","sorry, i thoght it was 1 at night"
kejariwal ko guddu se nautanki ki classes leni chahiye .  .  .  .  . :-(,kejariwal should take gimmik classes from guddu
@Pun_ditayeen Modi jaata hoga har dusre din visa lagwane,@Pun_ditayeen Modi must be going to get visa every other day
itna crowd to karawal nagar me kejriwal ki sabha me tha .  .,this much crowd was in kejriwal's assembly in karawal nagar
shaadi karni hai kya?,should we marry?
Koi to accha phone launch karo.,someone launch a good phone.
mummy ko pta hota tha ye sab .  .  .,mummy must know this..
@SufiTalks haha ! Bahut shukriya . Waise I don't make fun of teams or players . Mute karne ki bhi zarurat nagi hogi 😁 @mukta109,@SufiTalks haha ! Thank you very much. By the way I don't make fun of teams or players . i don't even need to mute @mukta109
4.10 ho gayi ab to :(,its 4.10 already..
"@ranjit_pai kahin toh hogi woh, duniya jahan woh mere paas hai.",@ranjit_pai she must be somewhere..the whole world is with me
@bizzarebhide Teri do takiya ki naukri me mera lakhon ka meme war jaaye.. Haayee @Atheist_Krishna @RowdyTalks,@bizzarebhide your worthless job would start a meme war@Atheist_Krishna @RowdyTalks
@YouDontKnowWho_ @Urban_Sanyaasi lolwut! Ek baar mil leta usse 2 beer pe. Phir uske baad ye try bhi nahi karta,@YouDontKnowWho_ @Urban_Sanyaasi lolwut! you should have meet him over 2 beers. then he wouldn't even tried this
This is the new 'Paneer samajh ke kha ja'https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/775627397307756544 …,This is the new 'eat it thinking as paneer'https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/775627397307756544 …
you will be pride of bharath @DuttYogi bharath mata ki jai https://t.co/yAHwxgvU0m,you will be pride of bharath @DuttYogi all hail mother india https://t.co/yAHwxgvU0m
@the_jok_er band ho ja koi birthday nahi hai,@the_jok_er shut up there's no birthday
"*Lok Sabha*

Speaker: Boliye Rahul ji kya hai Modi ji ki info aapke paas

RaGa: I ve his Aadhar and pan card no

S: DARBAAN ISE BAHAR NIKALO","*Lok Sabha*

Speaker: Rahul what do you have on modi?

RaGa: I ve his Aadhar and pan card no

S: get out"
@runjhunmehrotra zyada sapne mat dekho,@runjhunmehrotra don't dream this big
Kyu ? Saari sensibility ka theka humne hi le rakha hai ?https://twitter.com/priyanka_dear/status/624937767479316480 …,why? have i taken a contract of sensibility?https://twitter.com/priyanka_dear/status/624937767479316480 …
purane yaaden .  .  .  .  missing it,old memories  .  missing it
"hahahahhahahaha ,  guddu khoya hai mario or contra main lol :-d","hahahahhahahaha ,  guddu is lost in mario or contra lol "
@TweetErrant ye le.. Refresh ho jaapic.twitter.com/q3SvHP7ovK,@TweetErrant take this..get refreshed pic.twitter.com/q3SvHP7ovK
khushi kya hoti hai :/ @_SandSurfer @Heerahee,what is happiness @_SandSurfer @Heerahee
4 baj gye lekin salman hJi kha h..,"it's 4 already, where's salman?"
@Sychlops uske liye alag tweet kiya haihttps://twitter.com/Dorkstar/status/685363700979478528?s=09 …,@Sychlops ther's another tweet for him https://twitter.com/Dorkstar/status/685363700979478528?s=09 …
Ek ek din ka hisab mangati he jindgi ! Puchho dil se @peecee se . @priyankachopra https://t.co/pm0cItTJxC,life will demand each momen't account ...ask this to your heart..@peecee se . @priyankachopra https://t.co/pm0cItTJxC
auto rikshaw wale ki beti sunkar mujhe ca ki 1st rank holder ki yaad aa gayi :'( wo b auto wale k hi beti thi,after hearing auto rikshaw driver's daughter I remembered the CA topper(she was also a auto rikshaw driver's daughter)
sahi kahan hai Sir. :-) Iss baat ko yaad rakhenge.,well said sir..we'll remember this thing..
@BUnlimted Rajdeep bhaiya intolerant ho jaenge aaj @sagarikaghose,@BUnlimted Rajdeep will become intolerant today @sagarikaghose
aisa kaise ho sakta hai  .  .  .  .  meine jo confession kiya tha wahi post kar dete,how could this happen..whatever i confessed got posted
@AaadiVaashi ye bhi deshbhakti geet hai kya,@AaadiVaashi is this also a patriotic song..
ladko ne fir top kiya hai  .  .  lol,boys have topped again...lol
@Khabergaramhai Lol har koi yhi bolta hyn .. End mein har ghar sw ek awaz ati H ! Hamein tmse pyar h #PCB,"@Khabergaramhai Lol everyone tells this .. in the end, there's only one voice everywhere..I love you #PCB"
"@BolshoyBooze mazaak hai, ye tweet aur shaadi bhi ","@BolshoyBooze its a joke, the tweet and the marriage too"
@Atheist_Krishna Tujhse zyada to iss ladki me dum haipic.twitter.com/LyMqts7Loa,@Atheist_Krishna This girl is more strong than you pic.twitter.com/LyMqts7Loa
tujhse bhi expect nahi kiya tha mere aur mere bhai @TweetErrant ke beech aag algane. Hmph.,"i also didn't expect this from you, provoking a fight in @TweetErrant ."
"RT @fanthegame : Vo sirf STAR nahi hai , Duniya hai meri ! Watch trailer https://t.co/8iFTZvjYPe #KheloFansKhelo @FanTheFilm @yrf https://t…","RT @fanthegame : he's not only a star, he's my life! Watch trailer https://t.co/8iFTZvjYPe #KheloFansKhelo @FanTheFilm @yrf https://t…"
sir aap kya cheez ho? kamal!!!!,sir what are you? kamal.
Pakistan nahi Liverpool hogayi .,pakistan became liverpool
mard ko thand lagti hai.,men do feel cold
"Bas kar bhai, PM ko aise ghatiya jokes shobha nahi dete.https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/828858373131079680 …","stop it brother, these bad jokes don't look good for a PM.https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/828858373131079680 …"
"Ayye mere watan ke logon, zara aankh mein bhar lo paanihttps://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/137266221304393728 …","hey people of m country, get tears in your eyes"
"on february 13th .   "" desperation day ""  a magical night ,  when a ten has the self-esteem of a four and the depraved enthusiasm of a two .  :bd","on february 13th .   "" desperation day ""  a magical night ,  when a ten has the self-esteem of a four and the depraved enthusiasm of a two "
@akshaykanitkar sant bante hai,@akshaykanitkar portrays a saint
ye toh bas aap logon ka pyar hai :P,this is all the love from you
@iamGunjanGrunge nahi. Udhaar maaf nahi hoga.. Paise poore dena padenge.. Tumhe Cercei Lannister ki kasam,"@iamGunjanGrunge no, debt won't be forgiven, you have to return all the money.."
@Sand_In_Deed jaldi se jaldi shadi ho to kuch baat bane.,@Sand_In_Deed get married fast 
@ADILJIBRAN @abidifactor @intaffairs @Uroosa_Salman ye koi tareeqa nahe pak team ko degrade krny ka unho ne try kia nahe jeet sky its ok,"@ADILJIBRAN @abidifactor @intaffairs @Uroosa_Salman this is not a way to degrade pak team, they tried, they lost"
bahadur bache kahan hai ?  ?,where are the brave children?
@_SandSurfer bhai booth bhi khud saaf karna padta hai,@_SandSurfe we have to clean our booth..
Zyada udo mat. Sar pe ISRO ka satellite lag jayega.,don't fly this high..you'd get hit by isro's satellite on the head..
100% right .  .  .  .  . bhai ab ke log hote to consumer court chale jatey .  .  .  .  .,100% right .  now-a-days people would have gone to consumer court
@Koustubh1 bhai tareef kar raha hai comment kar raha hai @iamGunjanGrunge,@Koustubh1 he is praising you by commenting @iamGunjanGrunge
@PriyancaBajaj ek bhi inka original nahi hai @ScoopWhoop,@PriyancaBajaj not a single one is original @ScoopWhoop
rula diya yaar .  .  . love u yaar:-),you made us cry.. love you friend..
bahot zor se wada nibhaya hai tune #Respect,you have kept your promise #Respect
@lady_naarad tumne ladkiyo ke nakhre sahe hai ???,@lady_naarad have you beared girls' tantrums ???
Tu kiss karne gaya tha?,did you go to kiss?
Roz cold-drinks me to pesticide peete ho.. Ab doodh me detergent hoga to pet ki gandagi bhi to saaf ho rahi hai na..  #MotherDairy,"you drink pesticides in cold-drinks everyday.. today you are drinking detergent in the milk, it'll help to clean the untidy of our stomach..#MothersDairy"
#GST ke naam par public ko loto. har koi apni satta jamane tak kahe ga - mai ache din laoga. lekin anth mei apni #Politicsphilosophy,"#GST is robbing public, where are good days #Politicsphilosophy"
"Paise nahi aaye koi freelancing ke mujhe 
Agle mahine aayenge. Tu pila.",I don't have any money from freelancing..i'll get it next month..you buy me a drink
"Soch samajhkar zindagi ki kahaani likhi jaati hai, tweets nahi.","the life's story has to be written after deep thinking, not tweets"
"mujhe tumpe bharosa hai. Tum google karke link de do. ""Billions"" word chahiye. ek ghanta hai tumhare paas","I trust in you, you send me a link after googling, it should have the word 'Billions', you have one hour"
sacha hindusatni musalman ho to faisal bhai jaise  .  .  . india ka khta hai to indian ki hai gata hai,true indian should be like faisal bhai..he eats here and sings here
.@JhaSanjay sir aaj se 1 saal pehle banaya tha. Aaj bhi bilkul nahi badle aap. https://twitter.com/LOLendraSingh/status/455952146224009216?s=08 …,".@JhaSanjay it was made before a year, you haven't changed a bit https://twitter.com/LOLendraSingh/status/455952146224009216?s=08 …"
"Nahi yaar, Sunday ka plan hai. Aaja Delhi?","No friend, the plan is on sunday, will you come to delhi?"
@Atheist_Krishna tu hil jaega dekh kar,@Atheist_Krishna you'll get shaked after hearing this..
"List choti hi ho pr damdar hona chaiye War ""1947 bhul gaye kya . #SurgicalStrike ye to yaad hoga","List should be small but should be strong, did you forget 1947 war #SurgicalStrike this will be remembered"
@bhanub4you Rally ko rokna bhi ek tarah Ka goondaraj hai #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra,@bhanub4you stopping the rally is also a kind of rule of goons #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra
@PoojaMissra Kya pata Kashmir me jaake Geelani ko sachha bhartiya bol k aa jaega #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan,"@PoojaMissra who knows after going to kashmir, will call geelani a true indian and come #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan"
@NotThatMP Mubarak ho sirji. Accha kaam karwaiyega fir UP kooch kariyega :),@NotThatMP congratulations sir. do good work then march to uttar pradesh
@akshaykanitkar Kejriwal ji ke hote hue chori.. Kya yehi hai AAP ke achche din ?? Blow to AAP,@akshaykanitkar theft despite kejriwal. are these the good days of aap ? blow to aap
Mandal Aabhari https://twitter.com/amit_nagpur/status/894254963811008512 …,team is thankful https://twitter.com/amit_nagpur/status/894254963811008512
its k . v .  .  aur village ka model to thik h .  girls se to teddy bear banvaya tha .  .  :-p :-d,"its k . v .  .  and the model of village is alright, girls had to make teddy bear"
@ArvindKejriwal CBI aur ACB band karo bas aapiye chalu rakho .. Yeh certificate ke thok vikreta hai .,"@ArvindKejriwal stop cbi and acb, just keep aapiye going .. they are mass distributor of certificates."
@Being_Humor Chalte.. Chalte.. Gum kaha raaste ho gaye.,@Being_Humor walking.. walking.. where did the ways get lost?
"iska dharam nahi hai, uska dharam nahi hai.. haan bhaiya, bas ek tumhi dharmik bache ho is duniya mein.","he does not have a religion, he does not have a religion.. yes brother, you are the only religious person left in this world"
@SRKswarrior1 Bhai Koi pehchan wala Jo ... songs compile kr le kl sis ka dance competition he .... teeno mix krne hein without pause,@SRKswarrior1 Brother somebody you know who can compile songs for sister's dance tomorrow .... have to mix all three without pause
-=> Phool samaj kertora tha jiskoaaj kanta ban kermujhe tornelaga heFollow @Piyar_Ki_BarSaTSnd 40404,"the one i plucked thinking as flower, now breaks me like a thorn. follow @Piyar_Ki_BarSaTSnd 40404"
Kumbh mele me bichdi huee Shobha De ki behen spotted https://twitter.com/rubybasu/status/766651895435915264 …,shobha de's sister who got separated in kumbh fair spotted https://twitter.com/rubybasu/status/766651895435915264 …
bhai jaha fayeda ho vaha pe ladies first vala formula lagu ho jata hai ,p  .  according to the time change ho jati hai ye  .  .
@SarvagyaBengani abe jaruri hai har tweet ka dusre se link ho. Aur main kya yaha manohar kahaniya ki live tweeting kar raha hu!,@SarvagyaBengani is it necessary that every tweet is linked with another. and am i doing the live tweeting of manohar kahaniya here!
proper buzzing to watch the vow with @someUSER tomorrow,)
"Baapu sehat ke liye
Tu toh haanikaarak haihttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/816868703144800256 …","father, for my health, you are dangerous https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/816868703144800256 …"
anna .  ab kya tu bhi naukari karega kya  ?  ?  tumhare sabhi ladke to set kar dia congress government ne,"anna, now will you also do a job?  all your guys, congress government has set"
bechare ki feelings ke saath khelo tum. Bas.,play with the feelings of the poor guy. that's all.
"Vande Mataram, param pujya nari hobe. _/\_","i praise thee, mother who is the most worshipped woman"
@Being_Humor Ahem ahem.. Hum hai.. Par hua kya..  Sunny Leone ke darshan ho rahe hai kya,@Being_Humor ahem ahem. it's us. but what happened?. are you looking at sunny leone?
Kante Bahut Thay Daman eFitrat Mein Adam .. KuchPhul Aur Kuch Mere ArmanBan Gaye ..,"man, there were a lot of thorns in my inherent nature, some became flowers and some my dreams"
bhul gye sb .  . kaise choti wala scarf laga k bhari sa basta taang k nikal padte they ghaney kohare me school ki jung ladne .  .  .,"everyone has forgotten, how putting scarf in the ponytail, hanging a heavy bag, we used to get out in dense fog to fight the battle of school"
@Ra_Bies Ye zaaalim duniya ne badal diya hai.,@Ra_Bies this opressive world has brought the change
"@ra_bies haha are nahi bhai, kuchh khas logon ka khayal rakhna padta hai :) @ashutosh83b","@ra_bies haha no brother, need to take care of some special people @ashutosh83b"
@YearOfRat @Alllahdin Haha! Aisa kuch nahi!,@YearOfRat @Alllahdin haha! nothing like that!
@GaurangBhardwa1 sahi me bhai.. AC ko thanda karne ke liye bhi 2 AC lag rahe hai,"@GaurangBhardwa1literally brother, 2 acs are needed to cool an ac."
"@MeetUunngLee tujhe ilne ke liye ladkiyan mujhse baat karne lagi hai, kehti hai unglee se milao :'(","@MeetUunngLee girls have started talking to me to meet you, they say introduce me to the finger."
"Vimal paan masala, daane daane mein kesar ka swad, aur daanto daanto ko kesar ka rang","vimal paan masala, taste of saffron in every grain, and color of saffron on each teeth."
"Muslim woman in Jaipur divorced through speed post. Ajeeb hai, purane zamane me kabhi kabootar bhej ke talaq to nahi hote the!","muslim woman in jaipur divorced through speed post. its weird, pigeons were never sent for divorce in old times."
Agar #DelhiSmog jaisa kissa kisi #BJP elected state me hota toh #Congress kehti #Modi ki chaal hai Air Purifier ka sale badhaane ki #Twitter280Characters #smogindelhi,If a case like #DelhiSmog happened in any #BJP elected state then #Congress would have said it's the strategy of #Modi to increase the sale of air purifiers #Twitter280Characters #smogindelhi
" "" first time , in indian politics ,  rs1 crore has been given as a compensation to a martyr policeman "" "," "" for the first time, in indian politics, rs 1 crore has been given as a compensation to a martyr policeman"" "
launch a comic book yr .  .  .  u r great,"launch a comic book friend, you are great "
Kya baat hai? Dilli Ola share? Yahan ki ladkiyon ka IQ alag level hai. :D,"wow, delhi ola share? the girls of this place have iq at a different level"
#crackerban will be in #Delhi this #Diwali challenge karta hoon crackers burst karunga himmat hai toh rokh ke dikhana Aurangzeb ke Aulaadon,#crackerban will be in #Delhi this #Diwali will burst crackers. i challenge offsprings of aurangzeb to stop me
@Toh_Kya_Hua @91mishraprachi wahan se bhi ek achha defender nahi uthaya hai,@Toh_Kya_Hua @91mishraprachi didn't pick a good defender even from there.
@iAmGolfy Meri Gaadi Odd Hai #IrritateMeIn4Words :P,@iAmGolfy my vehicle is odd #IrritateMeIn4Words
"Daaton ki zaroorat hai jaise, bas ek Umesh chahiye hadin ke wicket ke liye.","need one Umesh to take wicket of hadin, like we need teeth."
@vichupedia bhai aisa nahi hai.. Celeb to aap bhi ho,@vichupedia brother its not like that. you too are a celebrity.
"@Atheist_Krishna Duniya mein 3 cheeze hoti zaroor hai lekin kisine dekhi nahin . bhooton ka sansar , sacha wala pyar or Degree #DegreeDialogues","@Atheist_Krishna three things exist in the world but nobody has seen: the world of ghosts , real love and degree #DegreeDialogues"
@friendlii_ghost to nayee jaise rahe..,@friendlii_ghost so remained like new
"super music bhai, aaj bhi anthem hai hamara... Urvashi!","super music brother, it's our anthem till today. urvashi!"
Kamlesh Vaswani and Vijay Panjwani. Ek hi jhatke mein sindhis ka naam mitti mein mila diya.,Kamlesh Vaswani and Vijay Panjwani. mixed the names of sindhis with soil in a moment
@thehariom25 #TripleTalaq where is mulla & molvi now ? 0 kya isko jine ka haq nahi hai ?,@thehariom25 #TripleTalaq where is mulla and molvi now ? does she not have the righ to live?
I think your roomie is trying to tell you something ... but u r not taking the hint !,I think your roomate is trying to tell you something. but you are not taking the hint!
@Sarcusstic bhai ye ho chuka hai https://twitter.com/LOLendraSingh/status/558536425897869312 … @Shakti_Shetty @GareebGuy,@Sarcusstic brother it has happened https://twitter.com/LOLendraSingh/status/558536425897869312 … @Shakti_Shetty @GareebGuy
@Jal_Kukdi tumhe itna pyaar diya.. Ab RT spree bhi chahiye  @iamGunjanGrunge @DefucktiveHumor,@Jal_Kukdi i gave you so much love. now you want retweet spree as well @iamGunjanGrunge@DefucktiveHumor
"Free speech: Bharat ke tukde honge

Anti-national speech: Vande Mataram 

#ILoveMyIndia","free speech: india will be divided

anti-national speech:  i bow to thee mother

#ILoveMyIndia"
"delhi vikash ki yhi pahchan  ,  batan dawao kamal nisan  . ","the identity of delhi's development,press the button with lotus mark."
@scratchysingh bhai mazak kar rahe hai delete kar de pls @The_Sleigher,@scratchysingh brother its just for fun. delete it please @The_Sleigher
Hariyana me ek din me char rape case ...par a sumit bhaisab .... Ek postar ko leke debet karte hai.... To enpar shaq nahi hoga kya...," four rape cases in haryana in one day but this sumit brother debates about one single poster, then wont he be doubted?"
aah kisi tarah try krte ki ladoo do bar mil jaye .  . chabad chabad !  !  !,used to just try somehow that we get laddoo two times.. chabad chabad!
ab time aa gya h ki #DeMonetisation n #gst ki tarah hi is #reservation ko hataiye taki sahi mayne me #India develop country ho jaye.,the time has come now to remove #reservation like #DeMonetisation and #gst so #India can become developed country in true sense
"RT @ErNayansingh : Engineer plus tall hone ke bahut Disadvantage hain , you never know baaju waali Fan theek karne bula ri hai ya Bulb lagaan…","retweet @ErNayansingh : there are many disadvantages of being engineer as well as tall , you never know whether the girl next door is calling you to repair the fan or affix a bulb."
Comparing Ishrat Jahan with Barkha Dutt is nonsene. Ishrat Bihar ki beti hai aur Barkha Pakistan ki.,comparing ishrat jahan with barkha dutt is nonsense. ishrat is bihar's daughter and barkha is pakistan's daughter.
"@White_Crimes Sequel aane wala hai, Sabu v/s Shaktimaan. Woh zyada achhi hogi.","@White_Crimes sequel is going to come, sabu vs shaktiman and it will be much better."
bhai .  .  .  .  .  tum hamesha emotional kar dete ho .  .  .  .  .  mom is the bestest gift a man ever recieve,brother. you always make me emotional. mom is the best gift a man ever receives.
"fb stats show that we have crossed 15 , 000 unique page views  !  time to crack open a nice bottle of single malt and enjoy :)","facebook statistics show that we have crossed 15,000 unique page views!  time to crack open a nice bottle of single malt and enjoy :)"
Heard k Sallu bhai ko musalmaano ki ab koi zarurath nahi rahi iz diz true???,heard that Sallu brother no longer needs muslims. is this true???
"BJP lao.. Saath me aayegi bahaar

 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar","bring bjp. spring will come with it.

 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar"
"SC ne kaha TT dharmic mudda ""hua to dakhal nahi denge!! to fir Hindu festivals ke liye dohre mapdand kyon?",supreme court said that if triple talaq is religious issue they wont interfere then why double-faced criteria for hindu festival.
oye guddu .  .  .  . try for bollywood,hey guddu. try for bollywood.
"*After Elections*
Kejri: Hum 50000 vote se haar gaye..Pata karo
Sisodia: Sir,twitter wale vote karne nahi gaye
K: Kyu?
S: Trend kar rahe the","*after elections*
kejriwal: we lost by 5000 votes. find out.
sisodia: Sir, twitter ones didn't go to vote
k: why?
s: they were trending"
@pallavisingh13 arey joke tha bhai,@pallavisingh13 it was a joke brother.
apple wali t shirt leni hogi :p,have to take apple t-shirt :p
@sssingh21 @ArvindKejriwal @ppbajpai krantikari bahut krantikari :) please galat man manna mujhe :) freedom of speech :),"@sssingh21 @ArvindKejriwal @ppbajpai revolutionary, more revolutionary. please don't judge me wrong. freedom of speech."
Jis police officer ki TERRITORY mein rape ho use bhi rapist k saath #FAANSI ki saza deni chahiye. Sansad mein ye kaanoon laaiye...Police waale apne-aap sudhar jaayenge or desh sudhar jaayega.,"the police officer, in whose territory rape happens, should be given the punishment of #FAANSI. bring this law in the parliament, policemen will improve on their own and the country will improve."
@Alllahdin toh beer peene ke baad bol deta... Soja:(,"@Alllahdin then after drinking beer, you should have said, sleep."
Dhoni ki retirement ka waqt badalna hai.,have to change dhoni's retirement time.
.@happlyunmarried Corey hai kalaiyaan pehna de mujhe hari hari choodiyaan,.@happlyunmarried the wrists are bare make me wear green green bangles
"Ye laal rang #GuessTheSong
#Kishorehttps://twitter.com/ROFLaaLa/status/881242615659716609 …","this red color #GuessTheSong
#Kishorehttps://twitter.com/ROFLaaLa/status/881242615659716609 …"
Bhai @imVkohli agar dressing room me baith ke Twitter mentions padh rahe ho to meri bat mano declare kar do. Agla match bhi jeetna hai.,"brother @imVkohli if you are in dressing room and reading twitter mentions then listen to my words and declare, you have to win the next match as well."
Alia Bhatt dance accha kar leti hai ☺,alia bhatt can dance good
Dhanyabad @jigneshmevani80 and #TukdeTukdeGang jo #gst ki itni problem ke bad bhi log @narendramodi sir par viswas banaye huye hai @,thanks @jigneshmevani80 and #TukdeTukdeGang who after so much problem of #gst still have so much faith in @narendramodi sir
Then y dont u shift in Hostel 10 itself ..,then why don't you shift in hostel 10 itself.
"Ab ki ladai aar ya paar

 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar","this time's fight, win or lose  #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar"
@abhinashanjuman Ji ...... kya Nepal raja virendra vikram shahdev ji jaisa sasan nahi Ho sakta kya ... please advice me ..,@abhinashanjuman sir can't there be a reign like that of Nepal's king virendra vikram shahdev sir.... please advise me 
@someUSER would the bar be showing pittsburgh steelers v new york giants on sunday night ?,@someUSER would the bar be showing pittsburgh steelers versus new york giants on sunday night ?
@DefucktiveHumor pet shatm se nahi.. Roti se bharta hai #gareebEmo @igknightor,@DefucktiveHumor stomach is not filled by shame it is filled by chapati #gareebEmo @igknightor
"*2015 Mohabbatein*
Main aaj bhi usse utni hi mohabbat karta hoon ... aur sirf isiliye ke mujhe koi aur nahi mili.","*2015 mohabbatein*, i still love her as much as before and only because i couldn't find anyone else. "
"or if Ram said ""Aaj mere ghode khulne wale hain"" before ashwamegh yagya.","and if ram said, today my horses will be released before ashwamegh yagya."
"@DefucktiveHumor 36D daalna tha, mujhe roka gaya hai :-D","@DefucktiveHumor you should put 36D, i was stopped."
Mai bhi please @Alllahdin,me too please @Alllahdin
"Ajay Mehra ne chopper Bansal mansion me ghusa dia hai.
#GhayalOnceAgain",ajay mehra has inserted chopper in bansal's mansion #GhayalOnceAgain
Bachchan sahab always make sure ki beta kuch to kaam kare 😂 #IndvsPak https://t.co/Q9AARgNQl1,Bachchan sir always make sure that his sons keep working‚ #IndvsPak https://t.co/Q9AARgNQl1
"@rahulroushan Sir, jaldi aao! Dekho Rahul Roushan aur Barkha Dutt ladai kar rahe hain.... Oh.. wait..","@rahulroushan sir, come fast! see rahul roushan and barkha dutt is fighting oh wait."
"@Prachi_licious nako, mala nahi bolayha aahe konashi pan, swatahla aavar zara",no i don't want to say anything you just take care of yourself
hamare patte bichhe kahan hai ab? :'(,where are our leaves spreaded now.
meri bahut pitayi huyi thi .  .  . ek baar esi hosiyari kerne gaya tha tub .  .  .  .  :-),i was beaten too much  when i was trying to show my smartness
@Gurmeetramrahim #MSGrequest ji pita ji aapki rehmat se hm sada achhe kaam kre,@Gurmeetramrahim #MSGrequest sir we keep doing good by your mercy.
Pyar ka panchhihttps://twitter.com/sanjaykapur59/status/790982024475447296 …,love bird https://twitter.com/sanjaykapur59/status/790982024475447296 …
"@ItzJatt yaar fone sey kar raha hun , bahut kumm use karta hun",@itzjatt i am doing it using phone i rarely use it.
hamare desh me sab kuchh possible he .,every thing is possible in our country.
""" Bewafa duniya mein kon sari zindagi sath de ga tera . * * Log to hathon se dafnaa kar bhool jate hain k Qabar konsi thi ......",in this disloyal world who will be at your side people forget which grave it was even after burying by their own hands
@oxymoronic_me 30 maar khan,@oxymoronic_me one who shows off
@kachra_peti kya khod k nikala hai,@kachra_peti wow! what have you dug out
@Being_Humor Abey shopping karni hai kya?? Beer piyenge Arera Bar me..  @GaurangBhardwa1,@Being_Humor brother do you want to do shopping? we will drink beer in arera bar.@GaurangBhardwa1
@gapagapdotcom mujhe bhi chahiye ek.. Kaha milegi.. kuch discount karwa do,@gapagapdotcom even i want one. where will i find? get me some discount.
"@ek_samosa_dena sachhai rulati hai bhai, main nahi!", @ek_samosa_dena truth makes you cry. not me 
Arrey! Tumnay bola aur humnay maan liya?https://twitter.com/IndiaToday/status/732099121310359553 …,hey! you said and i agreed? https://twitter.com/IndiaToday/status/732099121310359553 …
@KyaUkhaadLega Deti nahi sirf leti hai :D,@KyaUkhaadLega does not give only takes
wow .  .  !  !  users now get free mobile recharge of rs . 350 in just 2 minutes .,wow! users now get free mobile recharge of rs 350 in just 2 minutes.
@DefucktiveHumor sab mile hue hai @googlechrome,@DefucktiveHumor all are together @googlechrome
Madam ko desh ke itne saare 'Gandhi' naamak hospitalo pe bharosa nahi.. ??https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/671217458984841216 …,Madam does not trust so many 'Gandhi'  named hospitals in the country. https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/671217458984841216..
42-6. BHARAT MATA KI JAI !! #IndvsPak,42-6 long live mother india.! #IndvPak
@BhokalTweet wese yuvi filhal raina se bahut better kar raha hai .. Both in batting and bowling .. One day team me manish pandey ayega ..,"the one i plucked thinking as flower, now breaks me like a thorn. follow @Piyar_Ki_BarSaTSnd 40404"
p + q +r = 51 .  .  solved !  gudoo yeh hai answer .  kachua sir se fast solve kar liya,p+q+r =  . solved! gudoo this is the answer. turtle solved faster than sir
@SimplyHimanshuR dar ke bhage nitish tantrik ke pass  #FailedCMNitish,@SimplyHimanshuR nitish ran in fear tothe tantrik#FailedCMNitish
"Mujhe tum chupke chupke jab aise favorite karti ho, achhi lagti ho.",I like you when you secretly favourite me.
"Shayad meri shaadi ka khayal dil mein aaya hai, isiliye mummy ne meri mujhe iPill dilwaya hai.","Perhaps the idea of my marriage has come to my heart, that is why my mother bought me ipill."
@Atheist_Krishna Oh yes! Zee TV. Jismein Annu Kapoor fokat ke desh bhakti wale gaane gaa kar hamesha rota tha,AAtheist_Krishna oh yes! zee tv:in which annu kapoor always cried singing fake patriotic songs.
"Ye ""chamakna"" ne hi make up industry banayi hai.https://twitter.com/amazinganjali/status/795262268724416512 …","""chamakna"" has made the makeup industry. https://twitter.com/amazinganjali/status/795262268724416512 …"
I like Gurgaon.. Ladkiya mast hai waha ki,I like Gurgaon... there are nice girls there.
@RoflGandhi_ Guruji ko Bhi #RightToPrivacy se Faayda hua hai 0 Ab woh Secret room me privacy me kuch bhi kar sakte hai,@RoflGandhi_ even guruji is benefitted by #RightToPrivacy. now he can do anything in the secret room in privacy.
Happy MahaShivratri ... : : Deh Shiva eh bar mohe-i-hai shubh karman the kabhu na taroo Na daroo ar siyoo ... http://t.co/3PnISEtDxe,"happy mahashivratri ... : : grant me this boon oh god, may i never refrain from righteous acts, may i fight without fear all foes in life's battes ... http://t.co/3PnISEtDxe"
@kachra_peti Jai Ganesha deva,@kachra_peti long live lord ganesha.
tumko meri yaad nahi aati ?,don't you ever remember me?
"haan, sab pata hai mujhe.","yes, I know everything."
"Aloha Kriti , what's the secret behind your beautiful Aakriti ?? #AskKriti @kritisanon","aloha Kriti , what's the secret behind your beautiful shape ?? #AskKriti @kritisanon"
"Politicians have three kinds lunch
1. Ghar ka khana
2. Bahar ka khana
3. Dalit ke ghar khana","Politicians have three kinds of lunch
1. home food
2. outside food
3. food of  dalit's house"
aby guddu kbi to sudhr ja yr .  .,"hey guddu, get improved."
Chill maro ... waise bhi aap jaise #JNU #freeloaders ko kaha milti hain job!,just chill... anyways where do #JNU #freeloaders like you get job!
"*Roadies Delhi Audition*
Raghu: Aaj tak kuch adventurous kiya hai?
Guy: Sir main roz thande pani se naha raha hoon. 
Raghu: *Roadies Salute*","*roadies delhi audition*
raghu: have you done anything adventurous till now?
guy: sir I bathe daily with cold water. 
raghu: *roadies salute*"
hw cute .  bahut achcha laga,how cute.. felt very good.
@White_Crimes Maine chhod di daaru,@White_Crimes i have left alcohol
@_SandSurfer YHCH: yeh ho chuka hai,@_SandSurfer yhch: this has happened.
@MeetUunngLee tu mujhse behtar jaanta hai. Bakwaas na kar,@MeetUunngLeez you know better than me.do not talk rubbish.
@klpe bhai so ja,@klpe brother sleep.
Aur yahan ek month ke education loan ki EMI pay na karo toh call aa jata hai ! -_- #PNBFraud,and here if you do not pay one month emi loan then you recieve a call !#PNBFraud
"Jan jan ki yehi darkaar

 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar",it's a public demand #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar
RT @CallMeNini_ : Aaj time nikal kar Qandeel Baloch ki videos dekhiAb dil kar raha hai ya to khud marr jau ya use maar du😴,retweet @CallMeNini today i took out time to watch Qandeel baloch videos.now i feel like either killing him or myself.
matlab ghaat ghaat ka paani piye ho @iam_akashh @DeShobhaa,it means you have drunk water from every bank @DeShobhaa
@sonunigam @gaana nice video kyoon nahi banaya sonu ji,@sonunigam@gaana nice why didn't you make video sonu ji
Baby ne block kar diya.. Shayad phatakey phorney gayee hogipic.twitter.com/0uYFLd97nF,baby has blocked me. may be she has gone to burst crackers.pic.twitter.com/0uYFLd97nF
@adityabh99 bas karo bhai,@adityabh99 stop it brother
heheh .  .  lovely yr .  .  school yaad dila diya bhai guddu toone .  .,heheh lovely friend. guddu you made me remember school.
"#Jangal_Jangal Bat Chali Hai , #Hoi_Hai Karke Bat Feli hai , #Mogali Nahi Yaha hai Bhooto Ka https://t.co/gYr5IED7x0","the talk is going on in #Jangal_Jangal ,the gossip has spread as #Hoi_Hai  , not #Mogali, here its is of the ghosts  https://t.co/gYr5IED7x0"
@Priya_Menon Le pappiya jhappiya paale hum. Ankhiyon ke pech ladaa le hum?,@Priya_Menon let's get hugs and kisses. let's make eye contact
@Lala_The_Don gareebi bhi bahut hai..They are leading pathetic life  #NitishKaNakliVikas,@Lala_The_Don there is too much poverty. they are leading a pathetic life  #NitishKaNakliVikas
@YearOfRat Aap humse jawaan ho sir.,@YearOfRat you are younger than us sir
"""EK TORRENTZ KI SITE NAHI KHULEGI TO KYA TARA SINGH NAYEE PICTURE NAHI DEKHEGA..""","if one site of Torrentz doesn't open, won't tara singh see the new movie"
@Ra_Bies @am2pmlifestyle Laala bhai hamara number kab aayega  @ROFLaaLa,@Ra_Bies @am2pmlifestyle Laala brother when will our turn come @ROFLaaLa
Ye koi aur Happy Moharram bolta toh kohram mach jaata ab tak. https://twitter.com/ShahnawazBJP/status/713195577798885376 …,"if someone else had wished happy moharram, chaos might have been created till now.  https://twitter.com/ShahnawazBJP/status/713195577798885376 …"
"Badi mushkil hai khoya tera dimaag hai, koi usse dhund ke laaye na. https://twitter.com/abhijeetsinger/status/595860362194354176 …","there is too much difficulty, your mind is lost, someone please find it.  https://twitter.com/abhijeetsinger/status/595860362194354176 …"
"@Ra_Bies kal Friday hai, poori botal piyunga tumhari kasam","@Ra_Bies tomorrow is friday, will drink whole bottle, your promise."
Kyu behen.. Angrezi sirf tum hi bol sakti ho ??  https://twitter.com/hemalitanna/status/648383494477885440 …,why sister... only you can speak english?? https://twitter.com/hemalitanna/status/648383494477885440 …
@MahnooriAhmed ya alllah yeh kya kiya hahahah,"@MahnooriAhmed oh god, what did you do? hahahah"
"most common nights to order pizza: nye ,  jan 1 ,  day before thanksgiving ,  super bowl sunday ,  halloween .  http/URL","most common nights to order pizza: new year's eve ,  january 1 ,  day before thanksgiving ,  super bowl sunday ,  halloween .  http/URL"
Gujaratis rushing to the near buy bhel wala for Rs.10 ka bhel & asking bhai 500 chutto aapi de,"gujaratis rushing to the nearby bhel seller for rs.10 bhel and asking, brother give change for 500"
@indiantweeter Aisa kuch nahi hai. US to koi bhi jaa sakta.. PM ke saath DP koi nahi laga sakta.. Modi Ji Waali DP > Any trip,@indiantweeter it's nothing like that. anyone can go to united states. anyone can keep a display picture with prime minister.. display picture of modi sir is greater than any trip
@AkasaSing Mahashivratri ki Shubhkamnaye . Waise tumne bhi wrat rakha hai aur rakha hai to kiske liye rakha hai ?.. I m the biggest #Akasians,@AkasaSing greetings of mahashivratri. by the way are you also fasting and if so then for whom? .. i am the biggest #Akasians
"That's very ""good ab mahengayi bhi Kam ho ""jayegi berozgari khatam ho ""jayegi ""rape ""robbery gundagardi sab khatam ho jayegi #TripleTalaq","that's very good, now inflation will also reduce, unemployment will reduce, rape, robbery will end,  hooliganism will also end #TripleTalaq"
normal sa question tha  ?  bus aise hi attention dedo kuch b :,was it a normal question?  give attention just like that.
"@Lala_The_Don ye karta hai nitish se pyar 
#FarziPatrakarRavishKumar",@Lala_The_Don loves nitin #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar
@LoKarloUnfollow oh.. Phir to kuch soch samaj ke hi kaha hoga @bizzarebhide,@LoKarloUnfollow oh.. might have said after thinking only @bizzarebhide
@Typodhish mix brid hai .... Zebra aur dusra koi Animal ka mix hai ....,@Typodhish is a mixed breed... it is a mix of zebra and another animal.
UP ke gaon me to log aaj tak BIJLI ka Matlab bhi nahin samjh payehttps://twitter.com/ANINewsUP/status/783981852721713153 …,the villages of UP haven't yet understood the meaning of electricity.  https://twitter.com/ANINewsUP/status/783981852721713153 …
"aap galat na the, na ho, na hi hoge. bhai aap ki sadi ka intijar pure world ko hai .kab super duper news de rahe ho aap.","you were not wrong, nor is and never will be.. brother, whole world is waiting for your marriage. when are you giving this super duper news."
"""ye ek saazish hai.. PM hume kaam nahi karne de raha..""","""this is a strategy.. PM is not allowing us to work."""
"@bhaisaabkoram 2-4 fan waale tweet kar de, ek do din me email aa jayega ","@bhaisaabkoram tweet of 2-4 fans, will recieve email in 1-2 days."
@friendlii_ghost buri tarah se pyar hogaya hai tujhe...!,@friendlii_ghost you are madly in love.
@mujahid2589 . Muje to pehle se tere nawabi shok pe doubt tha,@mujahid2589 I doubted your royal needs from the starting.
#ModiMeetTrump kya #Modi gi #America main #Trump ke shaath mil kar #Pakistan ka koi rasta nikalenge kya hoga #EidMubarak #India,#ModiMeetTrump Will #Modi by going to #America with #Trump bring any solution to #Pakistan. What will happen #EidMubarak #India
hi salman vai......,hi salman brother
@Ruchira10 kya baat kahi hai. waah,@Ruchira10 very well said. nice
aur jo chalk fight hoti thi gang bana k  .  .  .  de dhama dham .  .  .  .,and the chalk fights that happen by forming gangs...boom boom
Kya pm bihar me aana. chahte hai,does the pm want to come to bihar?
"Sirji kaha ""the aapke bina twitter suna suna lag raha tha. Ab jara #gst #israelvisit #WestBengal k bare me kuch boliye",sir where were you? without you twitter seems empty. now tell a little bit about  #gst#israelvisit#westbengal 
"ye tera pyar hai mere liye. Dikh raha hai, but I'm not interested, kuch ulta seedha mat kar baithna plz",this is your love for me. it is visible but I am not interested and please don't go about doing something crazy
tu cheese badi hai mast mast - Mohra,you are a awesome thing- mohra
"@YearOfRat plaster toh nikal gaya hai, bas ek mahina aur uske baad normal chal paaunga!",@YearOfRat the plaster is removed and in one month I'll be able to walk normally
"@tishasaroyan meri wafayein yaad karoge, rooge haan ...fariyaad karoge","@tishasaroyan you will remember my faithfulness, you will cry and regret ."
"jikske raj main nayayparnali bhi corrupt hoti ja rahi ha "" janha nayay nahi shoshan hota hai ""","in a dispensation where the judiciary is corrupt, you get exploitation and not justice."
@NaMoIndia2015 Lalu aur nitish dono ek hi sikke k 2 pahelu #NitishKaNakliVikas,@NamoIndia2015 Lalu and nitish are two sides of the same coin #NitishKaNakliVikas
Aaj ek Film Ytube pe dekh lu ..,let me watch a film on YouTube today
"""Tu Hindu banega na Musalman banega, insan ki aulad hai insan banega""
Sagarika: Maza nahi ayega phir :(","you will neither become a hindu not a muslim, you are a son of mankind and you will become a human. Sagarika: it won't be funny then"
Kuch na mile to #America pe daal dain , apko waqae lagta hai #Trump itna jahil hai k in sub ko use kare ga ???
Paise ke liye Rahul Gandhi se inspire ho rahe hai log :Phttps://twitter.com/JhaSanjay/status/798754841078087680 …,people are getting inspired by Rahul Gandhi for money. :https://twitter.com/JhaSanjay/status/798754841078087680
@Madan_Chikna bhalai ka zamana nahi raha,@Madan_Chikna there is no time for good.
@PadmajaJoshi @Bawli_Booch satkeli hai madam after delhi elections ..... Modiji has asked her to on morning walk daily and watch pigeons,@PadmajaJoshi @Bawli_Booch madam has become mad after delhi elections. modi sir has asked her to go on morning walks daily and watch pigeons
#RailBudget2015 @narendramodi @RailMinIndia kaamchori /mismanagement/nonsensical rules / babugiri/ all this sums up as INDIAN RAILWAY,#RailBudget2015 @narendramodi @RailMinIndia laziness/mismanagement/nonsensical rules/ coercion all this sums up as indian railways.
#IndvsPak hahaha ... maza a gya ... back to back wicket ... yoyo,#IndvsPak lol... had lots of fun... back to back wicket... yoyo
"It's #WorldPoetryDay, dear emo poets aaj din mein hi chaar peg lagakar chaalu hojao.","it's #WorldPoetryDay, dear emo poets,  get started today itself with four packs"
#JNU ke Deshdrohi ko support karane wala @OfficeOfRG aaj #KulbhushanJadhav ji ke faasi par kyu chup he ?,why are the supporters of anti-nationalist of #JNU @OfficeOfRG today silent on the death penalty of #KulbhushanJadhav ? 
@ppritam009 mujhe yad rahega,@ppritam009 I will remember 
#Dhoni pata nhi kyun aaj office se aate waqt Rum le liya the #CaptainCool,don't know why today #Dhoni took Rum while returning from office #CaptainCool
Sorat mein chashma laga hai.https://twitter.com/kamaalrkhan/status/635767866478960640 …,glasses are on face.https://twitter.com/kamaalrkhan/status/635767866478960640 …
@The_Sleigher khoon ke aansu aa gaye,@The_Sleigher tears of blood came
@slimswamy aaj headache hai,@slimswamy today i have headache
dusri class se chalk mai lata tha .  .  sath mai bread pakora kha ke aata tha,"i used to bring chalk from the other class, used to eat bread pakoda with that"
@somy_bored @tellymasala bhai humko Laakham ka accha the end de do him khush ho jaayenge rest all will subside with time @RealTeamSwastik,"@somy_bored @tellymasala brother give us a good end for laakham, we will become happy. rest all will subside with time @RealTeamSwastik"
.@JhaSanjay Rahul Baba yoga day doraemon ke saath manane gaye hai ?,.@JhaSanjay has rahul dear gone to celebrate yoga day with doraemon?
@imVkohli Suresh Raina or Sikhar Dhawan ko samjhao ki ye t20world cup hai test match nahi .... Sab virat ke upar hath dho kar para hua hai .,"@imVkohli explain to suresh raina and shikhar dhawan that this is t20 world cup, not test match. Everyone is after virat kohli"
"@Mocksterr not pakode, bhajji... kaanda bhajji!","@Mocksterr not fritters, bhajji... onion fritters!"
RT @TheDeccanHerald : Good news soon on #OROP : Manohar Parrikar http://t.co/3CUraBihWr http://t.co/NtirfTeswv,retweet @TheDeccanHerald : good news soon on #OROP : manohar parrikar http://t.co/3CUraBihWr http://t.co/NtirfTeswv
"Ya, ab achha lag raha hai :P","yes, now it is looking nice."
"Bhagyashree: Tu chal main aayi
SBI Employee : Abhi lunch time hai, baad me aana.","bhagyashree: you go, i'm coming
sbi employee : it is lunchtime righ tnow, come later."
"@Ra_Bies @LoKarDi_RT kyunki sach, sirf bakwaas karti hai ye. Hmph","@Ra_Bies @LoKarDi_RT because honestly, she only talks rubbish. hmph!"
@KyaUkhaadLega matlab udhar liya wo bhi tweet karna padega, @KyaUkhaadLega even i have to tweet the loan you have taken.
20 rs deposit kar ke rent per comics  .  .  .  . he he he,"comics on rent after depositing 20 rupees, hehehe"
"Hey @ArvindKejriwal, is bhookamp ke piche bhi BJP ka haath hoga, haina?","hey @ArvindKejriwal, BJP must be responsible for this earthquake as well, right?"
.@OfficeOfRG isme doraemon kaha hai?,.@OfficeOfRG where is doraemon in this?
B'day B'day shehron main yeh chhoti chhoti batein hoti rehti hain.,"in big big cities, such small small things keep happening"
maine hi diya hai @tweeting_pal,i only have given it @tweeting_pal
Haan be waise bhi ghar ke kutto ko apni aukaat me rrhna chahiyehttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/733617115341697024 …,"yes, anyhow the dogs of the home should remain within their status https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/733617115341697024 …"
bhai itne mein to ek puri movie ki story khatm ho jati h  .  .  .,"brother, in this much, the story of an entire movie gets completed"
"Yaar ""Twitter ab to #GST bhi aa gayi India me. Ab to edit ka option de do!","friend twitter, now even #GST has come to india. atleast now give the option of edit"
May Dhan Yojana  @ask0704 @pburavalli,may money plan @ask0704 @pburavalli
RT @RichieMuney : Aaj Chashm-e-buddoor dekhne ka mann kar raha hai . Deepti Naval😍😍😍😍😍Farooque Sheikh😍😍😍😍😍Rakesh Bedi😍😍😍😍😍Saeed Jaffrey😍😍😍…,retweet @RichieMuney : today i feel like watching chashm-e-buddoor. Deepti Naval Farooque Sheikh Rakesh Bedi Saeed Jaffrey
#BecauseOfTwitter i could interact with my childhood loves @iHrithik @iamsrk and my jawaani wale loves @Varun_dvn @aliaa08,#BecauseOfTwitter i could interact with my childhood loves @iHrithik @iamsrk and my loves of youth @Varun_dvn @aliaa08
@Being_Humor tu to 2nd ko aane wala tha bhai @ROFLaaLa,@Being_Humor you were going to come on the 2nd brother @ROFLaaLa
Matlab ye kaun hai? Aur iske baare mein bayaan kyu hoya jaa raha hai?,i mean who is this? and why are statements being made about him?
@Funny_Deol to 10k kaise aayenge!,@Funny_Deol then how will 10 thousand come!
"""Waise Kejriwal itna bhi bura nahi hai.. kuch to kia hi hai usne""
Me:pic.twitter.com/zsPRQtBNXX","""by the way, kejriwal is not that bad, he has done something""
Me:pic.twitter.com/zsPRQtBNXX"
@ROFLaaLa @Madan_Chikna isko Dadasaheb Phalke Award aisa kuch dilao!,@ROFLaaLa @Madan_Chikna give him something like dadasaheb phalke award!
"Sheesha ho ya dip ho, aakhir, toot jaata hai ","whether it is a mirror or a lamp, in the end it breaks"
@ROFLaaLa shauk badi cheez hai,@ROFLaaLa hobby is a big thing
@HathwalaThakur menopause k baad ki stage @Ra_Bies @sagarikaghose,@HathwalaThakur the stage after menopause @Ra_Bies @sagarikaghose
gali gali me shor hai..,there is a shout in every street
its not guddu's fault .  .  .  .  . prestige ka hi toh sentence bnaya usne .  .  .  .  .,"it's not guddu's fault, he made a sentence of prestige only"
@JungleeBillli Aap Engineer kam aur Guru Mata zyada hai,@JungleeBillli you are less of an engineer and more of a guru mata.
.@JhaSanjay bhai trend bhi nahi ho raha.. kyu mehnat kar raha.. Kayam churn leke so jaa,".@JhaSanjay brother it is not even trending, why are you doing so much hard work? take kayam churn and go to sleep"
"@TweetErrant _/\_ mandaal aabhari aahe, krupaaya kombdi wade aani ek paakit haathi chhap gheun darshan dyave hi vinanti","@TweetErrant  the committee is thankful, please take chicken bread and a packet of hathi chaap, and take a view. this is a request."
"India ke score se west indies ko 18% jyada score karna ""padega kyuki unki batting 12 baje ke baad tak chalegi. #INDvWI #GST",west indies will have to score 18% more than india's score because their batting eill contitnue after 12 #INDvWI #GST
itne sare logo me se humse kaise baat karoge?? :-(,how will you talk to me from so many people?
RT @TamalDas8 : PIB_India #UHF RT RailMinIndia : MR Sureshprabhu Presents the Rail Budget 2015 #RailBudget2015,retweet @TamalDas8 : PIB_India #UHF retweet RailMinIndia : mr sureshprabhu presents the rail budget 2015 #RailBudget2015
"romney's great line about  "" trickle down government ""  was coined by gov .  mitch daniels as early as january .  mitt uses good sources . ","romney's great line about  "" trickle down government ""  was coined by governor mitch daniels as early as january .  mitt uses good sources . "
"Rona bandh karo, saal kharaab tha bolkar, kharab saal nahi magar tumhara dimaag hai.","stop crying by saying that it was a bad year. the year is not bad, your mind is."
@iffyuva Month end hai bhai,@iffyuva it's the month end brother
@akshaykanitkar soch mat.. Change kar jaldi,@akshaykanitkar don't think.. Change fast
"haan, waise bhi apne trips chalu hoayenge by year end *naacho*","yes, anyhow our trips will start by year end *dance*"
#Mauka mauka har chance pe mara chauka ... Well bat #IndianCricketTeam ... @StarSportsIndia #IndvsSA,#Mauka mauka hit a four at every chance ... Well bat #IndianCricketTeam ... @StarSportsIndia #IndvsSA
bhai ladke nahi pataane hai na?,"brother, you don't want to impress boys right?"
@AbbtakkE @ShkhRasheed good for Pakistani Team .. gro aur buzug ko daikh kar hi accha khail lain ?????,@AbbtakkE @ShkhRasheed good for pakistani team .. play good by looking at gro and buzug?
@KyaUkhaadLega SRK hai kuch bhi kar sakta hai,"@KyaUkhaadLega he is shahrukh khan, he can do anything"
Tumka kaa bataayi bhaiyya? Hamra haal kaa hai.. Nikle the hum halwa khaane muh hi jal gaya hai,"what do i tell you brother, what is my situation? i had gone out to eat halwa and my mouth itself got burnt"
@iamkits aisa kya hogaya? sab khairiyat?,@iamkits what happened? everything alright?
#railbudget2015 no incrse in pasengr fare 67%more funds fr passenger ammenities @Zahenaseeb @ggiittiikkaa @laidback1954 @DrGPradhan @ExSecular,"#railbudget2015 no increase in passenger fare, 67% more funds for passenger ammenities @Zahenaseeb @ggiittiikkaa @laidback1954 @DrGPradhan @ExSecular"
"Baby me Akshay Kumar ki biwi usey bina poochhe ghar ke bahar jaane deti hai. 

I MEAN HOW?","in baby, the wife of akshay kumar lets him go outside the home without asking. i mean how?"
@kitAnurag 2 jokes maar kar hi hero ban sakte the. Pagle the woh sarhad par jaan dene gaye.,@kitAnurag they could have become heroes by cracking 2 jokes. they ere mad that they went to give their lives at the border
Thaana mein baithe on duty bajawe haaye pandeyji seeti https://www.instagram.com/p/BH7mZXKjiEG/ ,pandey sir sitting in police station and whistling https://www.instagram.com/p/BH7mZXKjiEG/ 
Janta jhel rahi gundo ki maar #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar,the people are bearing the goons' beating
@SemperFiUnited its okay .. Uska matlab mil k samjhaunga,@SemperFiUnited its okay .. i will explain its meaning when we meet
"Jisko bhi tu condemn / Galat bolta hai "" wo Bilkul Sahi hota hain #NDTVFrauds","whoever you condemn, is always completely right #NDTVFrauds"
just abolish #TripleTalaq like sati pratha and baal - vivah. kuritiyan bhale hi dharm se judi ho pr hoti to kuriti hi h,"just abolish #TripleTalaq like sati practice and child marriage. even if a bad practice is related to religion, it is still a bad practice."
Aaj kis cheez par outrage karu? Bahot jor se outrage lagi hai.,what topic should i outrage on today? i have a very strong urge to outrage
"RT @rajni77777 : @Gurmeetramrahim #MustWatchMSG Awesome , Amazing Movie aur aap ke Entry Bahut hi Jabardust CRI","retweet @rajni77777 : @Gurmeetramrahim #MustWatchMSG awesome, amazing movie and your entry even more powerpacked "
@akshaykanitkar Haha.. Ab Anna aur bhi chaukanna !!,@akshaykanitkar Haha.. now anna is more vigilant!
Haar ke jeetne waale ko Governor kehte hainhttps://twitter.com/plumpernickel/status/849854687704530944 …,"The one who wins after losing, is called governor https://twitter.com/plumpernickel/status/849854687704530944 …"
@toastingtoaster ye to @UniqueIdiot_ dost hai apna,@toastingtoaster he is a @UniqueIdiot_ friend of mine
hum toh bhikari ki bheek jo mile woh theek. Aap dhundo Posh _/\_,"for us, the money given to a beggar is enough, you look for posh"
nahi woh tum dono ka pyar dekh kar mujhe ramayan sagar ko woh episode yaad aagaya @bubbly_ank,"no, actually i was reminded of that episode of ramayan sagar by looking at your love @bubbly_ank"
@TheDilliMirror Woh to theek hai.. Gift kab bhej raha hai.. kanjoos,"@TheDilliMirror that is alright. when are you sending the gift, miser."
@BloodyKamina Oo Tharak Pradesh ke rehne wale.. Soo jaa,"@BloodyKamina oo.. the inhabitant of lust land, go to sleep"
to phir kyun na sunday ko hi science practical ka exam rakha jaye  ?  !,then why not keep the science practical exam on sunday itself?
Kiski ghar mein hogi #Diwali ki Khushi aur kiski ke ghar mein hogi #GSTCouncilMeet outcome ki Khushi. #GST,in some homes there will be happiness for #Diwali and in some homes there will be happiness for #GSTCouncilMeet outcome. #GST
"waah ,  kya attention to detail !  cycle tyre ke fork par balloons and wide ball marker ke liye tuti hui eet !  wah ! ","wow, what attention to detail! balloons on the fork of cycle tyre and a broken brick for wide ball marker! wow!"
Fawad ke saath toh tu karega nahi. Magar in Pakistaniyon ka koi bharosa nahi.,"you will not do anything with fawad, but you can't trust the pakistanis"
Alag hi love story chal rahi haihttps://twitter.com/CNNnews18/status/847442043911655430 …,a different type of love story going on https://twitter.com/CNNnews18/status/847442043911655430 …
@Sammypedia Latte mar kar nikalo ussay,@Sammypedia kick him out
"Keechad mein hi rehna hai toh kamal ban kar raho, suwar nahi.","if you have to live in mud only, then live like a lotus, not like a pig."
friend yahan internet bahat slow ..... hai./..... sorry,"friend, the internet is very slow here, sorry."
@OldMathsy tu mera humdard hai. Main tera roohafza hun,@OldMathsy you are my hamdard. i am your ruhafza.
#Modi Ji Ne 104 Sattelites Chhorne Ka Kaam Kiya Aur #RahulGandhi Puncture Cycle Ko Dhakka Dene Ka Kaam Kar Rahey Hain -,#Modi sir did the work of launching 104 satellites and #RahulGandhi is doing the work of pushing a punctured cycle
"@Madan_Chikna bahot dard bhai, bahot dard","@Madan_Chikna a lot of pain brother, a lot of pain"
@divya_moorjani bhukar hai use?,@divya_moorjani does he have fever?
why u no entertain now ???,why you don't entertain now?
Time to start a new innings ... Dukan khol rahe hai bhaiya ji .. ab karenge #MakeInIndia #ElectionResults,time to start a new innings ... big brother is opening a shop .. now he will do #MakeInIndia #ElectionResults
"""Mein, Rocky, idhar udhar har ladki ke peeche bhaagta rehta hu.. Par mujhe apni pasand ki ladki nahi mili""","""I, rocky, keep running here and there after every girl. but i have not found a girl that i like."""
Shailly salman bhai online aaenge 3:30 baje Dkhte tujhy rply krenhe ki mujhy :p,"shailly, salman brother will come online at 3:30. let's see if he replies to you or me."
mujhe to laga guddu ke papa 'sirf english channels hi dekho' aisa kuch kahenge !  :d aur guddu ki aish ho jaaegi !  ,) garbage bin
"batao ji sentence bhi theek phir bhi teacher ka ye bartav , very very bad hai ji . ","tell sir, sentence is also correct, despite that this behaviour of the teacher, it is very very bad sir"
@Singhlicious Ummeed tey duniaa kaayam haigi jey maraaj,@Singhlicious the world is sustained on hope
par '9999999 in 1' me hi udne wala mario aata tha :d,but flying mario used to come only in '9999999 in 1'
"""Mera beta kuch khata hi nahi, sukh kar kaanta hogaya hai"" - Mother of a 200 kilo mini hippo human","""my son doesn't eat anything at all, he has dried up and become a thorn"" - mother of a 200 kilogram mini hippo human"
"AB to Virat ""Chal koi baat nahi, ye wala match main dekh leta hoon""","ab to virat ""It is no problem, i will see to this match."""
"Ye tir kahi #Ravan ko miss kar ke kisi #aamadmi ko naa lag jaye "" samhhal ke mariyega sir 0 #Notebandi and #Gst ki tarah misfire na ho jaye 0",hopefully this arrow will not miss #Ravan and hit some #aamadmi. hit carefully. hopefully it will not misfire like #Notebandi and #Gst 
RT @Pree_Preethi_ : @mr_khiladi24 accha thik h all the best bhai Fad k aao 😂,"retweet @Pree_Preethi_ : @mr_khiladi24 okay, it's alright. all the best brother. break a leg."
Khud ki socho ki agar #dhoni ki film na hoti to #sushant jahan hota 0 jyada itra mat raabta jaise flop film ke disastrous actor @itsSSR,"think for yourself that if #dhoni film was not there, #sushant would have been a zero. don't show off, you a disatrous hero of a movie like raabta @itsSSR"
@rahulroushan @c_aashish @Bodhisatvaa pehle aap local problems dur kare wahan ki (Manjhi Nitish) fir foreign investment ayega.,@rahulroushan @c_aashish @Bodhisatvaa first you solve local problems of that place (ferryman nitish) then foreign investment will come
Judge: Indira ki bahu aur Robert Vadra ke saale ko jail bhej diya jaaye  #SoniaRahulHazirHo,judge: send the daughter-in-law of indira and brother-in-law of robert vadra to jail  #SoniaRahulHazirHo
pata nahi kiske national anthem pe khade hote hain.,don't know on whose national anthem they stand.
"Falcao has gone to Chelsea, hamesha girta rehta hai pitch par. Ek gire huwe manager ke saath iski jodi achhi rahegi. #JoseMourinho","Falcao has gone to Chelsea, always keeps falling on the pitch. his pair will be good with a lowly manager  #JoseMourinho"
"^^^ and also, Salman bhai ka saat samandar paar dance from Kick. Bhai ki baat hi niraali hai.","and also, salman brother's beyond the seven seas dance from kick. brother is amazing"
@zzoker abhi hatata hu,@zzoker i will remove now
waise toh tu bhi meri sweetheart thi.,in that way you were also my sweetheart
dear @someUSER and @someUSER finally tomorrow dream high 2 will be aired in my country .  .  . finally i can see you again^^ miss u alot~~,dear @someUSER and @someUSER finally tomorrow dream high 2 will be aired in my country. finally i can see you again. miss you a lot.
@bhaiyyajispeaks @MrsGandhi @narendramodi Bhai . Agreement MMS ke time me negotiate hua . Chattbhai ka timing accha tha .,@bhaiyyajispeaks @MrsGandhi @narendramodi brother The agreement was negotiated at the time of mms. Chattbhai's timing was good.
Yess... bhaaijaan... hum aapke sath hai hamesha.. kuch b ho... love u sir g..,"yes brother, we are with you always, whatever happens. love you sir."
haha bhai kya kya padhne laga hai tu.,haha brother what all you have started to read.
bjp waaley kehtey hai 'central' mein bjp ki sarkar hai toh delhi mein bhi bjp ki sarkar hogi toh delhi ka kaam ho paayega warna sub kaam thap padh jaayega .   .   . really ?   ?   ?,"bjp says that there is bjp government in the centre, so if there will be bjp government in delhi then only work will be possible in delhi, otherwise all the work will come to a stop, really?"
mere whatsapp pe bhi aa chuka hai 2-3 baar lol,it has also come on my whatsapp 2-3 times laugh out loud
Ye kaunsa gaana hai?,which song is this
Aaj ka jaam @ROFLaaLa ke naam. Cheers Ben B'day Man,today's shots in the name of @ROFLaaLa. cheers ben birthday man
AJee sunte ho.......ab aaaaa bhi jaooooooooooooooo :),"you listen, come on now"
Sun le bhai @ArvindKejriwalhttps://twitter.com/airnewsalerts/status/800291704230117376 …,listen brother @ArvindKejriwalhttps://twitter.com/airnewsalerts/status/800291704230117376 …
"Bengaluru : T20 World Cup 2016 , Aaj Ka Doosra Match Srilanka Aur WestIndies Ki Darmian Khaila Jayenga , Match Shaam 7 Baje Shuru Hoga .","Bengaluru : T20 World Cup 2016 , today's second match will be played srilanka versus westindies, match will start evening 7 o'clock ."
guddu aur mai .  .  .  .  . have done more than 95% things similar .  love you bro for reminding my childhood .,guddu and me have done more than 95% things similar. love you brother for reminding my childhood .
@someUSER groundhog day ?  he just keeps seeing jt snow rounding 3rd over and over and over and over .  .  . #marlinsmysteryfanrevealed,@someUSER groundhog day ?  he just keeps seeing it snow rounding 3rd over and over and over and over .  .  . #marlinsmysteryfanrevealed
Ayye mere watan ke logo zara theek se ball toh daalo ni - Lata Mangeshkar #CelebCommentary,"hey my countrymen, bowl a little properly - Lata Mangeshkar #CelebCommentary"
"wrong information ,  till date no manifesto declared bybjp ,  please grow up and kindly don't mislead innocent people","wrong information ,  till date no manifesto declared by bjp ,  please grow up and kindly don't mislead innocent people"
@iMademoiselle ye zyada hua ab angreji bolo,@iMademoiselle this is too much. now speak english
@MeetUunngLee mujhe abhi bhi hai aur @SemperFiUnited ko bhi hai :-/,@MeetUunngL i still have and  @SemperFiUnited also has.
@Joydas ab jaa kar news padh le.. 10000 ka suit tha,@Joydas now go and read news. the suit was worth 10000
"@Mojitowali @vikasupadhyay23 pal bhar ke liye koi humein pyar kar le, jhoota hi sahi","@Mojitowali @vikasupadhyay23 somebody love me for a moment, even if fake"
august 11th 2010 was the day i met mitch .  .  .  i regret not taking a picture with him .  fuck .  i'll miss going to ss shows .  .  .  .  &lt,/3
pc se chipke hue h  .  .  online dekh rhe h match  .  .  bcoz of office :(,"glued to the personal computer. watching the match online, because of office!"
"Aaj Ke Liye Itnaa Shock Kaafi Nahi Tha Kyaa "" Jo Ab Swami Om trending ..!","was this much shock not enough for today, that now swami om trending!"
"@Fuljhadii Main Delhi mein hu :-/
Achha mazaak kar leti ho mere dil ke saath",@Fuljhadii i am in delhi. you do good joke with my heart
"@AHS20022 we need a captain bhai jo in players ko sahi use karay , warna honestly koi improvement nahi honi trust me !","@AHS20022 we need a captain brother who uses these players correctly , otherwise honestly no improvement will happen trust me!"
Modiji ke saare mantri #GST ke itne images share kr rhe jaise unko saare rules & regulations khud smjh aagye ho #GSTForNewIndia #gstrollout,all ministers of modi are sharing so many images of #GST like they have understood all rules & regulations themselves #GSTForNewIndia #gstrollout
"Shahenshah Akbar was angry with Salim
Shahenshah Arvind is angry with Salim too. Anarkali @ashutosh83B naach rahi hai",king akbar was angry with salim. king arvind is angry with salim too. anarkali @ashutosh83B is dancing
@clued_up_chic sahi karte hai.. Ladkiya hoti hi isi layak hai,@clued_up_chic they do right. girls deserve this.
@drmalvika6 aaj wo log block karenge,@drmalvika6 they will block today
"Ye ganga ulti kyu beh rahi hai bhai?
Achhe Din?https://twitter.com/RegaJha/status/895620718683013120 …",why is this ganga flowing backwards? good days? https://twitter.com/RegaJha/status/895620718683013120 …
Shera ko bhai samjha. Katrina nikla.,thought shera is brother. turned out to be katrina
Ye Nam(um}keen hai,this is impossible
ye poora gag frame karaane yogya hai :p,this entire gag is worth framing
"""Bharat Mata Ki Jai"" - Afridi","""long live mother india"" - afridi"
"music picks: r .  kelly ,  leonard cohen ,  cat power: fri 11/2 grace potter &amp; the nocturnals the wiltern if anyone should .  .  .  http/URL","music picks: r. kelly ,  leonard cohen, cat power: friday 11/2 grace potter & the nocturnals, the wiltern if anyone should http/URL"
Kon kehta hai #mumbai nahi rukta ... aaj sadko pe Mila kar dekho #mumbai tha sa gya hai,"who says #mumbai does not stop, try and meet on the roads today #mumbai seems to have stopped"
Bajrangi bhaijaan 4:30 b baj gaye Kb aaoge.. Bhai kl Mera birthday.. Kal ki party meri taraf se,"Bajrangi brother it is 4.30, when will you come? brother tomorrow is my birthday. tomorrow's party from my side."
@SimplySajidK bhai kabhi to kuch original kiya karo.,"@SimplySajidK brother, do something original some time."
"hota hai yaar, singlehood issues.","it happens friend, singlehood issues"
@sambha_bhilane Baal bachane gaye hain fir toh,@sambha_bhilane has gone to save hair then
"Aur bhai kuch khayega?
Nahi
Kuch piyega?
Nahi yaar pi liya
Kya?
Apne aansoo.",and brother will you eat something? no. will you drink something? no i have drunk. what? my tears.
i wanna be ur friend dear u r so sweet :) send me friend request if possible,"i want to be your friend dear, you are so sweet. send me friend request if possible"
"Jan Dhan yojana for the poor, Janardhan yojana for the richhttps://twitter.com/firstpost/status/806451209552859136 …","jan dhan yojana for the poor, janardhan yojana for the rich https://twitter.com/firstpost/status/806451209552859136 …"
"@Humor_Donor nahin yaar, aise kaise? :D","@Humor_Donor no friend, how come?"
"Do dost ek pyaale mein chai piyenge, kyunki gareebi.",two friends will drink tea from one cup because of poverty.
"khatiya bhi tera, assi bhi tere..
sarkaayi lyo takiya jaada lage","bed is yours, I am also yours…move the pillow feeling cold"
#stamps the u . s .  postal service made a special delivery saturday at the l . a .  times festival of books' poetry sta .  .  .  http/URL, #stamps the u.s. postal service made a special delivery saturday at the l.a. times festival of books' poetry stage .  .  .  http/URL
Diwali ke din eggs kha sakte hai kya?,can we eat eggs on day of diwali?
"@scratchysingh @ShraddhaKapoor Yes please, ek achhi wali banana. Romantic si.","@scratchysingh@Shraddhakappor. yes please, make a good one, which is romantic"
to the distressed soul in #96  .  .  .  don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems  .  .  .  a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on  .,to the distressed soul in #96  .  .  .  don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems  .  .  .  a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on  .
Isme koi doubt nahi ki #noteBandi abhitak ka sabse bada #ArthikGhotala hai jo maine aj se 4 - 5 mahine pahle hi kaha tha. #GafeeboKiKamarTodDi,there is no doubt in this #noteBandi is the biggest #ArthikGhotala which I had forecasted only 4-5 months before. #GafeeboKiKamarTodDi
I love you Salman sir kaash main apse baat kar pati..i miss you..<3,"i love you salman sir, i wish i could talk to you, i miss you.."
"100 pratishat sach hai, 500 logon ne isse maana hai, dentist ka sujhaya number one sach","it is 100 percent true, 500 people have accepted it, it is the number one truth suggested by dentist"
like larry bird in the ole' 3pt contest .  .  .  tonight at the alfred e .  smith dinner #romney went 1st and absolutely crushed it .  #obamafailed,like larry bird in the ole' 3pt contest .  .  .  tonight at the alfred e .  smith dinner #romney went 1st and absolutely crushed it .  #obamafailed
@Priya_Menon risk to spiderman ko bhi lena padta hai  @huh_watnow,@Priya_Menon even spiderman has to take risks @huh_watnow
Kejriwal ji ka apna koi sukh-dukh nahi hai. Wo Modi ji ke sukh se dukhi aur dukh se sukhi hote hain.,respected kejriwal does not have happiness or sadness of his own. he is sad with respected modi’s joy and happy with his sadness.
"RT @SankalpSharan : Rail research institute will open @ IIT BHU , kanpur #RailBudget2015 bt noone sees this #RespectResearcher #HikeFellowship","retweet @SankalpSharan : rail research institute will open @ IIT BHU, kanpur #RailBudget2015 but no one is seeing this #RespectResearcher #HikeFellowship"
"yeh hi baat kehni thi bas, ye bambaiya hindi bahot kharab hoti hai. Seekh raha hu, zaroor seekhunga. Shukriya!","just wanted to say this only, the hindi of bombay is very bad. i am learning it, will surely learn. thanks!"
@Amit_smiling Bihar ne bahut corruption jhela hai iss sarkar ke karan...#NitishKaNakliVikas,@Amit_smiling Bihar has suffered a lot of corruption because of this government…#NitishKaNakliVikas
the knicks got the heat at msg tomorrow !  gonna be tough but we got this !  !  #knickstape #gonewyork,the knicks got the heat at message tomorrow ! It is going to be tough but we got this ! ! #knickstape gonewyork
it's d mum only jo hmesha papa se chhipa k paise deti h  .  .  .  .  . luv u mumma,it’s the mother who always gives money hiding it from papa…. love you mother
@friendlii_ghost 2 din use karke dekha.. farak na pade to paise wapas,@friendlii_ghost used it for 2 days.. if there is no change money will be returned
#Captaincy chhod di to kya hua .... #TeamIndia par aaj bhi #Dhoni ka raaz hai or rahega,it does not matter if he left the #Captaincy….. today also #Dhoni rules  #TeamIndia and will rule
apni kisi frnd ki help le ya sb thik ho jayega  .  .  .  :),"take help of a friend, all this will become alright"
@SrBachchan #MothersDay Shweta Bachchan @earth2angel on her mom #JayaBachchan Must read https://t.co/tQYIGGXX51 https://t.co/SXmuUT4b6d,@SrBachchan #MothersDays shweta bachchan @earth2angel on her mom #JayaBachchan must read https://t.co/tQYIGGXX51 https://t.co/SXmuUT4b6d
Flop jaaigi movie teri....aehsan framosh..,your movie will be a flop…you ungrateful
"Mahishmati, kya hai mrityu! Mentions me aadha Twitter hai mrityu.","mahishmati, what is death? mentions me half of twitter is death"
"#Surgicalstrikes ka credit lene ki zaroorat nahi hai ; Sirf aap ( PM ) nahi "" pura desh Army ke saath hai : Cong ' s Mallikarjun Kharge in LS","there is no need to take credit for #Surgicalstrikes, not just you (prime minister), the whole country is with the army: congress’s mallikarjun kharge in lok sabha"
@prachikad tune haddi todi phir ek baar? Natraj phir ek baar champion!,@prachikad did you break a bone once again? natraj is champion once again!
"ye woh log hai jo #SurgicalStrike #palletgun k saboot aur oppose karte hai "" einase toh durghatana se der bhali",these are those people who want evidence of  #SurgicalStrike #palletgun and oppose it. for them delay is better than accident
@karachikhatmal kiraye ki shilajeet par kab tak chaloge,@karachikhatmal for how long will you go on rented mumijo
"Thanks @Favstar_Bot Bhai, bade dino baad :(","thanks @Favstar_Bot Bhai, after many days"
@AdvancedMaushi nope. vada pav sirf marathi auraton ke haath se. ek bar wo logon ke ghar ka chauka chulha saaf karke aa jaye uske baad.,"@AdvancedMaushi no. vada pav only from the hands of maharashtrian ladies. let her come after cleaning the kitchen and burner of other people's houses, after that. "
lol iski @huh_watnow to nahi hue ,)
"Ranveer Singh be like;

'Aaj bedsheet pahen leta hoon'
'Aaj curtains pahen leta hoon'
'Chalo, Deepika ka gown bhi kuch bura nahi hai'","ranveer singh is like; ‘today I will wear bedsheet’, today I will wear curtains, ‘even deepika’s gown is not so bad’"
@lady_naarad haan aur DM bhi ,)
"tayyar ho gaye kab se,ab jaldi aao!","ready since long, come soon now!"
@Insane_chorri saari kissi tum hi dogi ya kuch hum bhi de ? @runjhunmehrotra,@Insane_chorri  only you will give all the kisses or some I can also give? @runjhunmehrotra
@Kar__90  ha. Issi liye anti modi ho rahe hai janab. #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar, it is @Kar__90. that is why sir is anti modi. #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar
@Pyyar_se_Michel Namaz ke time to ap snooker khelne chale jate ho aur AllaH rasool ki baatein ... 😏😕😑🙅,@Pyaar_se_Michel at the time of namaz you go to play snooker and are talking about prophet…..
Talk time nai saheb data speed chaiye ..,sir i don’t want talk time but data speed
@BeingKushSharma sach mai Bahut accha feel hua thaa 😂😂😂 k jaise new life mill gayi,"@BeingKushSharma truly felt very good, like got a new life"
"RT @PrathmeshSawant : BJP seems confused between "" Nirodh "" and "" Virodh "" #BJPCountsCondoms",retweet @PrathmeshSawant : BJP seems confused between contraception and opposition  #BJPCountsCondoms
pentagon open to more than just #blackberry ?  ios and android may make an appearance .  http/URL,pentagon open to more than just #blackberry ?  ios and android may make an appearance .  http/URL
@QandeelQuebee Baloch ji Strip Dance Nhi To Kam Se Kam Koi Rone Wali Video Hi Upload Kardo Bahut Ummeed Tha Aapse 😂😂😂 #IndvsPak,"@QandeelQuebee  baloch atleast upload a sad video if not a strip dance , I had lot of hopes from you #IndvsPak"
@richazjoy hii khaaha ho @svetlana25,@richazjoy hi where are you @svetlana25
Dhanda paani kaise chal raha hai? Sab Saras?,how is business going? everything good?
ye thoda alag case h but still .  .  :p,this case is a bit different but still
bhai lv u......aapne zindgi me ek baar milna h...plz bhai kbhi ye msg pdho to.....plz mujhe ek call krke.... meri life khushiyon se bhar dena...,brother love you…. want to meet you once in my life….please brother read this message sometime….please call me once….and fill my life with happiness….
@sudhanshu74 People with a weak heart are not meant for cricket ! Khelne keliye bhi #WillOfSteel chahiye aur dekhne keliye bhi :-) #IndvsSA,@sudhanshu74people with weak heart are not meant for cricket! #WillOfSteel is needed to play also and to watch also #IndvsSA
happy valentines day  ?  i thought stupid #valentine was on the 14th of feb .,happy valentine’s day? i thought stupid valentines’s day was on 14th of february
"@friendlii_ghost @ROFLaaLa @Madan_Chikna @millertimeindia Koi bhi ho daaru pilao, bahot hogayi dawai","@friendlii_ghost @ROFLaaLa @Madan_Chikna @millertimeindia whoever it it is please give liquer to drink, enough of medicine"
@DarshanBangera @feminamissindia @ColorsTV haha ! Hota hai hota hai ..,@DarshanBangera @feminamissindia @ColorsTV haha! it happens it happens….
O pagal ye asli salman khan thori hai  :-),oh stupid this is not real salman khan
"people of delhi know promises of aam aadmi party - delhi and run away from responsibility in 49 days . aap can only give promises , but next kiran bedi govt will deliver good governance .  .  .","people of delhi know promises of aam aadmi party - delhi and run away from their responsibility in 49 days . aam aadmi party can only give promises , but next kiran bedi government will deliver good governance .  .  ."
dubai ma aj 80% indain choti par hai #surgicalstrike #Champions #PakistanZindabad,80% Indians in dubai are on peak today #surgicalstrike #Champions #PakistanZindabad
"@YoBlackPepper kuch thik nahi hai Jalebi, jeevan mein kuch bhi theek nahi hai","@YoBlackPepper something is not right jalebi, nothing is right in life"
@someUSER cant bud going to kentucky .  if you wait till sunday fun day id like to go .,@someUSER can’t be going to kentucky . if you wait till sunday fun day I'd like to go .
guddu  .  . kitna pareshan krte ho apne parents ko .  .  :p,guddu…..how much do you bother your parents….
shh @MeetUunngLee isse mat dena @BolshoyBooze mujhe bhi be bhej,shh @MeetUunngLee do not give it to him. @BolshoyBooze send to me also
postage for o .  henry stamp unveiled: the u . s .  postal service on monday unveiled the stamp commemorating the life of .  .  .  http/URL,postage for o. henry stamp unveiled: the usa postal service on monday unveiled the stamp on monday commemorating the life of .  .  .  http/URL
"Aaj ye pagli @RanaAyyub deewanon ki tarah naachegi
http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report-by-2050-india-will-have-largest-muslim-population-pew-2340867 …",today this fool @RanaAyyub will dance like possessed. http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report-by-2050-india-will-have-largest-muslim-population-pew-2340867 …
Mujhko prr ek ehsan krna k mujhse kv shadi krne ko na kehna :),do an obligation on me that never ask to marry me
Adam Milne be like 'Daawat ke liye bulaya tha kuch khaana hi nahi bacha',adam milne be like ‘called for a party but no food was left’
#SurgicalStrike k baad Modi # khoon k Dalal ho gei . ab sarkar n nahi army n Kiya jo v kiya . what a double standard . doglepan ki v hadh Hoti hai,"after #SurgicalStrike modi has become a middlemen for #khoon. now whatever happens, is done by the government, and not the army. what a double standard. there has to be a limit to double standards"
"@Ra_Bies Doga, soni kudiyan kitthe chale gayi hai twitter par se?","@Ra_Bies Doga, beautiful girl where have you gone from twitter"
chalk chori yaad ya gya .  .  .,remembered chalk theft
@HyperProactive raat ke time bhagwaan ko gaali nahi dete ,)
Ishrat Jahan https://twitter.com/_SandSurfer/status/752370922128945152 …,ishrat jahan https://twitter.com/_SandSurfer/status/752370922128945152 …
@melotus kisi bhi cheez ko zyada nahi karna chahiye,@melotus nothing should be done in excess
2 + 2 kitne hote hain?pic.twitter.com/dn8qdQXN70,how much is 2+2? pic.twitter.com/dn8qdQXN70
Pak General se relationship hone se maze kar rhi #Mariyam _ Sarif,#Mariyam_Sarif is enjoying because of relationship with pak general
"Yahin doobe din mere, yahin hote hai savere #TheBarSong","this is where my day sets, this is where it is morning #The BarSong"
@someUSER dublin on monday :d so excited !  also my friends birthday she will be at the concert .  .  .  plzzzz say happy birthday shauna,"@someUSER, dublin on monday! so excited! also it is my friend’s birthday, she will be at the cocert…….please say happy birthday shauna"
Retweeted PMO India ( @PMOIndia ):,retweeted prime minister's office India ( @PMOIndia ):
Kyun ki unhe students ki leni thi ..,because he wanted to tease the students
Beta daan me me hue desh aur bheekh me mili huee roti kha kar itna nahi bolte..https://twitter.com/FarhanKVirk/status/641507181821427712 …,son  if you have got a country in charity and food by begging do not speak so much… https://twitter.com/FarhanKVirk/status/641507181821427712 …
ye vo teachers hein jo engineering ke exams pass nahi kar payey or inki girlfriends engineers se shadi karkey chali gayin to sari frustration bacho pe nikaltey hein :@ :(,"these are those teachers who could not clear engineering exams and their girlfriends married engineers and went away, so they take out all thier frustration on children"
"@klpe nahi mil raha, shayad delwte bhi kar diya ho.","@klpe cannot find it, maybe also deleted it"
@technoobrat aaja bhai me to yahi hu,@technoobrat come brother i am here only
main bhi mugerilaal ki tarah khoya rehta tha class main .  .  . aise school ko toh 21 topon ki salami . :),i also used to be lost like mugerilaal in class…. 21 gun salute to such a school
"Rona kyu hai? 
Kya itne bure hum hai maa? https://twitter.com/bawdebanna/status/853953076419477504 …","why cry? am I so bad, mother? https://twitter.com/bawdebanna/status/853953076419477504 …"
" "" avril lavigne is having a concert tomorrow night in the park .  sonic's opening for her .  you wanna come ?  "" ",avril lavigne is having a concert tomorrow night in the park . sonic's opening for her . you want to come ? 
Missile hai ya Instagram?https://twitter.com/patauli/status/778165891573972992 …,is it a missile or instagram? https://twitter.com/patauli/status/778165891573972992 …
"RT @GauravPandhi : Savarkar didn't kill Gandhi Nehru was not the first PM Like , Modi is a post-graduate Global warming doesn't exist https","retweet @GauravPandhi : savarkar didn't kill gandhi and nehru was not the first prime minister, like , modi is a post-graduate and global warming doesn't exist https"
@LEDtvn kitni baar try karwaegi,@LEDtvn how many times will you make me try
"Rona bandh karo, twiter hai shokh sabha nahi.","stop crying, its twitter not grief meeting"
Tatkal ka ticket leke kal tak ghar wapas aa jaao yaar. #IndvsAus,take a tatkal ticket and come back home by tomorrow friend. #IndvsAus
Lagta hai #JNU me ab tank nahi direct #NuclearBomb hi plant kiya jaayega 0,seems like in #JNU now directly a #Nuclear Bomb will be planted not a tank
@prtxt Got it bhai,@prtxt got it brother
@RoflGandhi_ kya kar raha hai be. Andar ho jayega to aasaram pe joke kaun banayega !,@RoflGandhi_ what are you doing? If you are imprisoned then who will make jokes on aasaram?
"even though you knew your dad isnt that well off  ,  you still demanded a galaxy s and a laptop  .  thats really amazing you know  .  .","even though you knew your dad isn't that well off,  you still demanded a galaxy s and a laptop. that's really amazing you know  .  ."
"during Nirbhaya protests in 2013 I heard a slogan "" desh ka Yuva Yahan hai ~ Rahul gandhi kahan hai "" #WhereIsRahul","during nirbhaya protests in 2013 I heard a slogan "" youth of country is here ~ where is rahul gandhi"" #WhereIsRahul"
"@you_ShutUpp thaka hota he banda , tum koi kaam karo office mein to pata ho na :p","@you_ShutUpp a person is tired, you would know only if you will do any work in the office"
Oho. President ne bhi intolerance bol diya. Ab social media inke bhi peeche pad jayega.https://twitter.com/ndtv/status/691621149931778049 …,oh. president has also said intolerance. now social media will go after him too. https://twitter.com/ndtv/status/691621149931778049 …
#Balochistan #PMLQ such kahte hain k pathano ko hur bat late smjh ati h 0 #Trump ko gae hoe zamana guzar gya ab barma ki bat karo,"#Balochistan #PMLQ there is truth in saying that pathans understand everything at slow pace. #Trump is gone since ages, now talk about burma"
RT @nehasahu75 : @ArvindKejriwal sir aise hi rang badlte rahiye ....,retweet @nehasahu75 : @ArvindKejriwal sir keep changing colors like this only…
"0 @msdhoni - Rohit Bhai "" mere pad ke niche ac ka button hai wo plz daba ke  jana","@msdhoni - rohit brother  ""ac's button is beneath my pad please press it before going"
gote bhi kaat diye jaate hai kya  @IndianExpress,are golden threads also cut? @IndianExpress
udbilaao k aate hi big blow ho gya  .  .  .  .,"as soon as the otter came, big blow happened…."
Pyar tumhe  mode pe le aaya?,love has brought you at crossroads?
#salu bhai ap bas bachio ko reply kartay ho :p,#salu brother you reply only to girls
"Na bachi roti na bacha achaar

 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar","neither the chappati is left, nor the pickle is left  #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar"
@arunjaitley ji.. 1peg me kaam nahi ho rha hai!! GST ko samajhne me roz bottle lag rhi hai.. #GST #GSTQ #GSThelpdesk, @arunjaitley .. 1 peg is not working!!  To understand gst everyday 1 bottle is being used..#GST #GSTQ #GSThelpdesk
Beta bhakt intolerant hote naa.. To abhi aap Pakistan se tweet kar rahe hotehttps://twitter.com/Iam_Prerna/status/659729045127495680 …,son if the devotee were intolerant… then you would have been tweeting from pakistan now https://twitter.com/Iam_Prerna/status/659729045127495680 …
Muskaan Sahab ko muskurana kab chahiye ye sikhana zaroori hai. https://twitter.com/anuraagmuskaan/status/805823075484770304 …,"when should muskaan sir smile, this has to be necessarily taught"
"Pollard ko West indies walo ne bhi nikal diya hai, Mumbai Indians wale pagal hai.",pollard has been dismissed by west indies also…. Mumbai Indians are stupid
"I'm vegan ya.
Haan behen 1750 baar bol chuke ho, reham karo.","yes i am vegan. yes sister I have said this 1750 times, have mercy"
@Footloose_Free Didi Bali se bachchon ke liye kya layee ???,@Footloose_Free sister what have you brought for children from bali?
"Bihar ke bhaiyo.. Zindagi me ujala chahte ho to lalten ko badlo

 #NitishLaluSting https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEK7kPaMu9A&feature=youtu.be … …",brothers of bihar….if you want illumination in life then change the lantern  #NitishLaluSting https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEK7kPaMu9A&feature=youtu.be … …
"#Al_Quran : ALLAH Aur Uss Ke Farishte Paighamber Par Darood Bhejte Hain , Momino Tum Bhi Un Par Darood Aur Salam Bheja Kro AhzaabAyat #56 ....!!","#Al_Quran : to prophet and to his angel messengers i send my salute, belivers you also send them your salute ahzaabayat #56 ....!!"
"Sanjay Dutt said golden words in kaante, ishq itna bhi na jataoke husn sar pe sawaar hojaaye. #TOTD #Respect","sanjay dutt said golden words in kaante, do not express so much love that the beauty starts behaving insolently. #TOTD#Respect"
Awesome track. ..Dil mey uttar gya yaar,awesome track…. went inside the heart friend
"@dan1shmemon woh toh hai, galat nahi hai usmen kuch :D","@dan1shmemon, it is there, there is nothing wrong in this."
guddu ki maa ne khana nahi banaya hoga .  .  .  .  . jeet kar khali pet sona pada bechare ko .,guddu’s mother must have not made food….poor chap had to sleep empty stomach after winning
"Agar baby bas aadhe ghante mein ghar pahonch raha hu, ye phone par kehte ho #TohMarriedHoTum",If you say that baby I am reaching home in just half an hour on your phone #TohMarriedHoTum
"Modiji aap #POK me surgical strike kare na kare "" Ghar me 2 #SurgicalStrikes to banti hai . Pahli #SurgicalStrike #kasganj jaisi bastiyon pe "" doosri #AdarshLiberal aur #secular #intellectuals pe","respected modi you may or may not do a surgical strike in #POK, but 2 #SurgicalStrikes must be done at home. first #SurgicalStrike in places like #kasganj, second on #AdarshLiberal and #secular"
@retardedwriter @Alllahdin LOL! Aaj shaam,@retardedwriter @Alllahdin laugh out loud! today evening
aree yaaar .  .  .  please pic ka size bada rakho .  .  .  padhne me halat kharab ho jati hai .  .  .  btw .  .  .  keep it up :),oh friend……please keep the size of picture large……reading becomes difficult….by the way…keep it up
#DimagSay yeh kya trend hai its Mind Say or Dimag se ??? Koi humhe batayega,what sort of trend is MindSay or #DimagSay??? Can anyone please explain to me
"i missed the 10th birthday of avril lavigne's sk8er boi !  darn ,  i love that song ,  especially the part where she rhymes boy with boy .  #classic","i missed the 10th birthday of avril lavigne's ska8er boi! darn, i love that song , especially the part where she rhymes boy with boy . #classic"
Bihar mein bahaar haihttps://twitter.com/IndiaToday/status/737514179284738048 …,there is spring in bihar https://twitter.com/IndiaToday/status/737514179284738048 …
"RT @PakistanArmy4u : 3IEDs at different locations ( Hamza Goth , Khanu Qila Sadar Din Goth ) of Sui successfully diffused #PakArmy #Pakistan ht","retweet @PakistanArmy4u : 3 IEDs at different locations (hamza goth, khanu qila, sadar din goth ) of sui successfully diffused #PakArmy #Pakistan "
iss jhoot ke liye janta maaf nahin kregi .  .  .,people will not forgive for this lie
#GST se kuch na hoga @narendramodidesh se RESERVATION ka System hatao.. phir dekho kaise badega desh, nothing will happen with #GST @narendramodi remove reservation system from country. then see how country will progress
"Dear Congressi's where is  ""Rajiv Gandhi Ladki Driver Ke Car Mein Sawaari Se Bachhe Insurance Yojna""?","dear congress members where is  ""rajiv gandhi ladki driver ke car mein sawaari se bachhe insurance scheme""?"
"Yahi hota hai, jab 10-10 over khelne ke potential walo ko 50 overs ka match khelne ko mil jaye. #Pandya",this is what happens….when people with potential to play 10 overs match get a chance to play 50 overs match. #Pandya
@arrahman92 News channel jab Bjp nikalti hai musalman ko tab bade aaram se dikhata hai #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra,"@arrahman92 news channel, when bhartiya janata party takes out muslims, then it is shown with much ease #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra"
"Tumne to jaise mehnat karke empire khada kiya hai "" pehli baar dekh rahe hai "" chori or bhrstachaar me saja bhugat raha aadmi "" gyan pel raha hai 0","the way you have raised the empires, ""it is the first time I am seeing""  a man under punishment for theft and corruption is spreading knoweledge"
.@over_rated Matlab desh ko bech depic.twitter.com/4lGBRp2JeZ,@over_rated means sell the country pic.twitter.com/4lGBRp2JeZ
@rohit_nakhwa sidhu paji ki commentary bahut miss ho rahi hai 😕 @sherryontopp,@rohit_nakhwa missing respected sidhu sir’s commentary a lot @sherryontopp
Aaj @Aashi_81 RT de rahi hai.. Tabiyat to theek hai beta aapki ?,today @Aashi_81 is retweeting! are you feeling alright?
"Babu ji @aloknath big fan, lekin kya soch ke Sandhi Sudha Tel bikwaya aapne?","respected sir @aloknath i am a big fan, but why did you think of selling sandhi sudha oil?"
"bina baat chhekhti chillati hai, content kuchh khas nahi","screams and shouts without any meaning, content is nothing special"
Waah kya pyar haihttps://twitter.com/NamitaThe/status/770211793440415744 …,wow what love https://twitter.com/NamitaThe/status/770211793440415744 …
"Mr Modi ji baat Swaziland se kala dhan lane ki hui thi "" na ki desh ka safaid dhan Swaziland lejane ki .. #PNBScam","mr. modi the talk was to bring black money from switzerland, not to take white money of the country to switzerland. #PNBScam"
"When Prakash Raj was born, his dad said ""mera beta villain banega"".","when paraksh raj was born, his dad said “my son will become a villain”"
RT @taran_adarsh : #RRajkumar movie review : Doesn't work . It is Prabhu Dheva's weakest Hindi film to date ! http://t.co/7PED6IdvXm,retweet @taran_adarsh : #RRajkumar movie review : doesn't work . it is prabhu dheva's weakest hindi film to date ! http://t.co/7PED6IdvXm
gareeb ko iss cheez se bhi khushi mil jayegi.,poor will be happy with this thing also
"bhai apne maalik se puch bhi lena, bina puche mat de dena.","brother ask your master also, do not give without asking"
very good kya bat hai .  .  .  . ye hai hamre dash ki shan,very good wow… this is pride of our country
"@ImKrish35 @S1dharthM maaroge sab mujhe padha padha ke , kal phn bhi cheen liya tha , badi mushkil se waapas kara mama ne 😢","@ImKrish35 @S1dharthM you will kill me by making me study, yesterday phone was also snatched away, mother returned it with great difficulty"
@LEDtvn ladai karlo pehle poori khatam.. Mein dosti ka haath badaata hu.. Tum ladai karne lagti ho @scratchysingh,@LEDtvn first finish off the fight completely….i put forward a hand of friendship….you start fighting @scratchysingh
Yakub Menon aur Nirbhaya par nahi bole aap. Its fine moron Hindus like u ll not understand.,"you did not speak on yakub menon or nirbhaya….. it is fine , idiot hindus like you will not understand."
@someUSER is bringing out kendrick lamar the 6th of december !  ?  !  get your tickets now !,@someUSER is bringing out kendrick lamar on the 6th of december !?! get your tickets now!
hahahah very true .  .  .  bht bda dhoka hota tha ye hmare with .  . :d,hahaha very true…….it was a big deception which used to happen to us...
"Ye naye zamaane ka Kanhaiya, apni baansuri ka galat istemaal karte huwehttps://twitter.com/MeetUunngLee/status/715052355453120514 …","this is the new generation krishna,  wrongly using his flute https://twitter.com/MeetUunngLee/status/715052355453120514 …"
Aise log bhare hai yahan.https://twitter.com/fusebattery/status/869070674878283776 …,this place is full of people like this https://twitter.com/fusebattery/status/869070674878283776 …
"Tu beer hai.
Teri maa vodka aur baap desi.",you are beer. your mother is vodka and your father a local
"#Nepali
Shaabji khud hi boltay, khud hi jawab detaay.pic.twitter.com/ZaOzIEtohN","#Nepali sirs speak themselves,  answer themselves .pic.twitter.com/ZaOzIEtohN"
"mangaa lo kha lo, roka kisne hai?","take a mango, eat it. who is stopping?"
humare bachhpan mai aisa naa hota tha but aajkal schools mai yeh chizen bahut chalan mai hai .  .  .,this did not happen in our childhood but today these things are in very common practice.
Yar Lalu-Mulayam type logon se achha hai tum AAP aur Congress ko vote kardo #LaluMuktBihar,friend its better that you vote for aap or congress rather than people like lalu-mulayam #LaluMuktBihar
"garbage bin : ka bhaiya ,  , rough-wough dene ki hoti hai ya nahi ?  ?  ?  mann laga k seekhe nahi tum .  .  :p","garbage bin : what brother , can you give a rough one or not ? ? ?  you did not learn it willingly.  ."
Bhaiya 5 rupye ka sense dena.,brother give sense worth 5 rupees
"@manishkaushik19 @shapendra @shuklapinku vo kaney nahi "" one eye warrior "" kehlatey hai",@manishkaushik19 @shapendra @shuklapinku they are called ‘one eyed warrior’ not one eyed people
"Well ""said but aapko ye manana padega ""ki ab ground level pe kaam nahi ho ""raha main ab bhi #DeMonetisation aur #GST ke liye apke sath hoon",well said but you will have to agree that no work is being done at ground level even now. I am with you for #DeMonetisation and #GST. 
Suna hai #dhoni har single ko double me badal sakta hai 0 Kya ise bhi ? @SaurabhM16 #ValentinesDay,heard that #dhoni can convert every single into double. 0 - can this too? @SaurabhM16 #ValentinesDay
Apne desh me #Toilet kaha jana.. wo bhi Advertise se samjana padta he... to #GST ke benefits kese samjavo ge.,in our country even where to go for #Toilet has to be understood from advertisement. then how will you make the benefits of #GST undertood.
@Sarcusstic nirma se daag dho raha hun bhai.,@Sarcusstic brother i am washing  the stain with nirma
@ARangarajan1972 Dard baantne se kam hota hai,@ARangarajan1972 grief lessens if shared
@c_aashish isko jaanch honi chahiye + maine samvihan padha hai,@c_aashish this should be investigated + i have read the constitution
"Location no bar, Bangalore mein mila do. Ayye @MeetUunngLee mujhe bhi le chal","location no bar, arrange meeting in banglore.  hey @MeetUunngLee, take me along"
24K nikaalne ke liye account me hona bhi chahiye https://twitter.com/Shehla_Rashid/status/812595735086526464 …,to withdraw 24 thousand there should be money inthe  account https://twitter.com/Shehla_Rashid/status/812595735086526464 …
"Ab ye zaalim duniya mein mujhse shaadi kaun karega, main loot gaya barbaad hogaya :'(","now who will marry me in this cruel world, I am robbed, I am destroyed"
frame kara lo bhai .  .  :p,get it framed brother
"Divide n Rull ... Kabhi Mat Bhul .. #Saharanpur jaana chahta tha "" mujhe jaane nahi diya gya "" actually wo mujhe UP border pe roke the "" main uth ke yahan aa gya : #RahulGandhi","divide and rule ... never forget .. wanted to go to #Saharanpur ""but I was not allowed to "" actually the stopped me on uttar pradesh border"" so I got up and came here : #RahulGandhi"
"Last year "" #Diwali ke char din baad ek aawaz aayi thi .... #Mitron","last year "" four days after  #Diwali one voice  had come.... #Mitron"
Matlab log kuch bhi rt karenge?,means people will retweet anything?
MahaShivRatri Ki sabko badhai ..! Happy MahaShivratri eveyone ..! Om Namah Shivaye ..!!,maha shivratri’s congratulations to everyone…! Happy maha shivratri everyone…!om adoration to shiva
Salman Khan Facebook py nh hen. Unho ny apny interviw me kaha tha.,salman khan is not on facebook. he said this in his interview
@HathwalaThakur bhai amare tya pan same chhe @Aey_Sunn_Bey @friendlii_ghost,@HathwalaThakur brother at my place pan is the same @Aey_Sunn_Bey @friendlii_ghost
Savdhan India me ab tak Salman ka case nahi aaya. #legend,careful salman’s case has not come in india till now #legend
#Afwaah Achhe din aayenge,#Afwaah good days will come
hahahahahahaha guddu ki ek apni duniya jaha woh rehna chahta hai .  .  .  :p :p :p :p,hahahahahahaha guddu has his own world where he wants to live
"Company HRs be like.. 
Naam? 
Gotra? 
Your occupation in last life?
Kundali dikhao. 
Tumhare upar shani bhaari hai. 7 saal baad aao.",company’s human relationmanagers be like…name? clan? your occupation in last life? Show your horoscope? saturn is heavy on you. come after 7 years
"at office
girl: ye printer kabhi chalta bhi hai ki hamesha kharab hi rehta hai
me: printer ka kam print karna hai chalna nahi
*silence*",at office  girl: “ does this printer ever work or it always remains impaired’   me: “printer’s  job is to print not to work”  *silence*
Mere desh ki dharti sona ugle.. ugle heere moti.. mere desh ki dharti..https://twitter.com/sidin/status/790467382837936128 …,"my country’s land spits out gold,….. spits out diamonds pearls… my country’s land…https://twitter.com/sidin/status/790467382837936128 …"
@ChiragAdvani Bechraji ma 3G na aabe bhai,@ChiragAdvani sir my 3G is not coming brother
@meetsuman80 that is piyush bhai,@meetsuman80 that is piyush brother
"@runjhunmehrotra Bhalai ka zamaana toh hai hi nahi. Koi na, main toh time pass kar raha hu.",@runjhunmehrotra  age of goodness is not at all there. does not matter. i am passing my time
@Being_Humor meri shaadi me aayega to stage pe hi lifafa check hoga,@Being_Humour if you will come to my wedding then the envelope will be checked on the stage itself
RT @VirasatPune : #KnowPune Today in History : Shrimant Nanasaheb Peshwe built the Parvati Temples in the year 1749 ... https://t.co/4aKhSFYeMM,retweet @VirasatPune : #KnowPune today in history : shrimant nanasaheb peshwe built the parvati temples in the year 1749 ... https://t.co/4aKhSFYeMM
"Privacy agar sabka haq hai to pandey ji ko khan sahab ke yaha khaane mei kya banega "" isme interest kyu hai ? #RightToPrivacy",if privacy is everyone’s right then why is respected pandey interested in what is cooking today in khan sir’s house? #RightToPrivacy
"@someUSER if they are still looking for a center ,  they may want to inquire about sam gagner .  edmonton needs d .","@someUSER if they are still looking for a center, they may want to inquire about sam gagner. edmonton needs d."
@someUSER all i'm saying is we're playing 4 june not nov/dec .  getting the kinks out now cuz come june well be there mini lin,@someUSER all i'm saying is we're playing on 4th  june not in november/december. Getting the kinks out now because in the coming june we'll be there mini lin
"Bahot nek! Aur Bhai ne ek baar commitment kar di toh bas, lekin, Ash, Katri, Bijlani,  bhai ne inki kabhi commitment nahi di.","very righteous! and if brother makes a commitment then its done, but, brother never made a commitment to aishwarya, Katrina, bijlani"
"0/0 ki value toh 1 ho hi sakti hai  
waise bhi tan is derived from sine and cosine, sin / cos = tan or 0 / 1 = 0 ","value of 0/0 can be 1 otherwise also tan is derived from sine and cosine, sine / cosine = tan or 0 / 1 = 0"
taiwan court extends ex-leader's jail term - taipei: taiwan's high court said friday it has extended ex-leader chen  .  .  .  http/URL,taiwan court extends ex-leader's jail term – Taipei. taiwan's high court said friday it has extended ex-leader chen . . . http/URL
@akshaykanitkar  desh drohi ko dee huee gaali nahi hoti @scratchysingh,@akshaykanitkar abuse to traitor is not an abuse @scratchysingh
just concentrate on ur study  .  .  .  god bless u :-),just concentrate on your study  .  .  .  god bless you
thoda aur punch lao!,bring a little more punch
"RT @SameerAllana : @avinaSHarma10 you forgot Nehra , Sreesanth and Chawla :(","retweet @SameerAllana : @avinaSHarma10 you forgot nehra, sreesanth and chawla"
@LoKarDi_RT mera pyar Samjho,@LoKarDi_RT understand my love 
"master men  , mind blowing hai","master men, is mind blowing "
"""Car pooling karne wali mahila ke saath huwa khilwaad""
#ComingSoon #OddEven",“women who does carpooling was fooled” #ComingSoon #OddEven
P se main kyu aagaya??!,why did I come from p??!
"2010- Char log kya kahenge
2016- Char blog kya kahenge",2010- what will 4 people say ?  2016- what will 4 blog say?
see expression of shaan n amit ji .  .  .  .  . :-d,see expression of shaan and  respected amit  
Jinko do waqt ka khana nasib nahi hota wo log bhi IPL pe comment kar rahe hai smhhttps://twitter.com/pk_ho_kia/status/849674565898846208 …,"people who are not able to afford 2 square meals, those people are also commenting on ipl smhhttps://twitter.com/pk_ho_kia/status/849674565898846208 …"
ye toh mere saath bhi hua tha .  .,this happened with me also
120 ki lee hai * 10,taken *10 of the 120 ones 
@faizan_mubarak kya hal hai bhaijaan,@faizan_mubarak how are you brother?
"Sadke saaf rakho
Gandi toh soch bhi hoti hai.","keep the roads clean, even thoughts are dirty too."
annaa bhi kejriwal ka ustaad hai  !  kya kejriwal ne annaa se sikha hai jhutth bolna  !  dhokha dena  !,"anna is mentor of kejriwal! what has kejriwal learnt from anna, to lie? to betray?"
"Neend chura ke raaton mein , tumne baton baaton mein , dekho baat badal di hai http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk1Eemh2jfM","you stole my sleep at nights , you did this through your conversations , you have changed the topic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk1Eemh2jfM"
@LEDtvn aapne dhokha diya uske baad aadat ho gayee,@LEDtvn you betrayed after that it became a habit
@MeetUunngLee ki fark penda hai?,@MeetUunngLee what difference does it make
movies ek sath 4-4 kar rahe ho par release ek bhi nahi ho pa rahi sir kya baat hai. ? #AskSRK,"you are doing 4 movies together, but not a single one is getting released, what is the matter? #AskSRK"
"#GuessTheSong
Husn O Ishq ki raahon mein...",#GuessTheSong  in the path of beauty and love…
Sirf Trump jo bole wahi yaad hai ek kaan mein ? Jo #Modi bole wo bhi yaad rakho na : EAM to oppn on #Trump,you remember only that what trump has said in your one ear? What #Modi says remember that also: eam to opposition on #Trump
"@ImRaina U know , aaj mera Mahashivratri ka Upwas ( fast ) hai . iss din god shivji se ye mangugi ki aap sirf mere Jeevansathi bane .","@ImRaina you know, today is my mahashivratri fast. today I will ask god shiva that you should become my life partner only.  "
@lady_naarad Accha hua Africa nahi gaye.,@lady_naarad it was good that you did not go to africa
Car mai baithne se pehle thoda namak nimbu laga lena. ,) Waisay Colgate bhi chalega.
maa ka dialogue :- ajji sune to ho ye school se hero ban krta hai,"mother’s dialogue- are you listening, he becomes a hero in school"
@MohitParmarr kya Mohit bhai.. Nirashajanak Stithi @aajtak,@MohitParmarr what mohit brother….disappointing situation @aajkak
@ruchikokcha desh ke pyar mein bhi emo karo,@ruchikokcha be emotional in love for country also
obviously a person who has been in iit only will not see the good side of it  .  ask a person who has been in both the situations ( most of the m  .  tech guys )  .,obviously a person who has been in iit only will not see the good side of it. ask a person who has been in both the situations ( most of the master of technology guys).
@GulabJaamun Chalo phir theek hai,@GulaabJamun then it’s alright
ye to batao page ke 1 million like kab aa rahe hai .  .  i am waiting for that .,tell when is the page going to hit 1 million likes….i am waiting for that
@sardesairajdeep tussi bade majakiya ho :D,@sardesairajdeep you are very funny
15 lakh kha h mere ?,where are my 15 lakh
@NNehaaD kaha chali gayee thi tum ?,@NNehaaD where did you go?
@bizzarebhide ai shapath?,@bizzarebhide this oath?
Kama-Sutron ke  anusar ek video aane wala hai.https://twitter.com/iPoonampandey/status/809267178520330244 …,one video is about to come as per kama-sutra https://twitter.com/iPoonampandey/status/809267178520330244 …
Aap ka bhi insaf honga. yaha nahi to waha honga. . inshallha,you will also get justice. If not here then there….if prophet wills
Waha sote hai kya log?,do people sleep there?
Because Modi se meri phat-ti haihttps://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/658841729718611969 …,because I am scared of modi https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/658841729718611969 …
@Shady535 #CrackerNACrackKAR bolne wale ki baat mat sun,@Shady535 don’t listen to person who is speaking #CrackerNACrackKAR
"yaar uske paas naukri hai ladki hai, time nahi hota yaar.  @MeetUunngLee","buddy, he has a job, has a girl, he  does not have time @MeetUunngLee"
yup .  .  .  .  totally did this .  .  .  perks f being d monitor of d class .  .  .  bunked boring lectures .  .  .  .  :p,yup . . . . totally did this . . . perks for being the monitor of the class . . . bunked boring lectures . 
"Jo Apne Channel ke na huay, wo kisi party ke kya honge?pic.twitter.com/yNmddB1mOB","who do not belong to their own channel, how will they belong to any party? pic.twitter.com/yNmddB1mOB"
"RT @DhuanDhari : "" GATE band kar warna CAT aa jayegi . "" "" Haan , wo IIT pehle bhi , abki baar AIEEE to ghusne MAT dena . ""","retweet @DhuanDhari : "" close the gate else the cat will come in. "" "" Yes she iit before, if she aieee then let her MAT enter. """
@Champ_Nikk hadd se zyada,@Champ_Nikk beyond limits
Yar samajh ni aara #Trump sahab ne #Funding band ki hai ya #Pakistan ke jeene ka maksad cheen lia hai 0 #TrumpDumpsPak,buddy I cannot understand #Trump sir has stopped the #Funding or stolen the motive of living of #Pakistan. #TrumpDumpsPak
#GST ka form lene ke liye modiji ke ghar pe jana hai ya arun jaitely ke.? Koi to batao,to take #GST form do we go to respected modi’s house or to arun jaitely’s house? someone please tell
"Aur bhaiya do shahi paneer, teen butter naan, 8 phirni bhi saath me..pic.twitter.com/3g6sb5f9p6","and brother two shahi cottage cheese, three butter naan, 8 phirni also with it.pic.twitter.com/3g6sb5f9p6"
@Sarcusstic @Marwaari Dono milo kabhi,@Sarcusstic @Marwaari both meet sometime
4.....baj gy ....but party abhiii bakiii hai.....vo bhi saallllluuuu miya bhaijaaan ki....,its..... 4..... but party is still left…that too of brother sallu mister.....
mere paas toh cycle bhi nahi chhoda hai ghar walon ne :'(,family has not even left a cycle for me
match hrane me guddu ka maa ka bahut bada hath hota agr guddu ke papa rokte nhi  .  .  .,"guddu’s mother would have had a big hand in the loss of the match, if guddu’s father would not have stopped it....."
@_SandSurfer ek do hazar aur de ke nayi leni thi na. becar hai,@_SandSurfer should have taken a new one by giving one or two thousand more.its worthless
mungerilaal k sapne .  . blackboard k saamne hi aate the .  .,dreams of mungerilal… come in front of blackboard only...
School ki haalat kharaab hai.. #NitishKaNakliVikas haipic.twitter.com/GwAxfaVocF,condition of school is bad..  #NitishKaNakliVikas pic.twitter.com/GwAxfaVocF
RT @gilliauna : HOLIDAY SALE French Locket Necklace . Eiffel Tower Necklace with Coral Teardrop and Pearl . https://t.co/9cTDZvK2sQ https://,retweet @gilliauna : holiday sale french locket necklace . eiffel tower necklace with coral teardrop and pearl . https://t.co/9cTDZvK2sQ https://
Sir @narendramodi purani jeans se 2000 aur jacket se 2500 ke purane note nikle hai. Kya karu ? @RBI,"sir @narendramodi old notes, 2000 from old jeans and 2500 from jacket have been found? what shall I do? @RBI"
3.30 se 4.00 4.00 se 4.30 aana he ya nhi,"3.30 to 4.00, 4.00 to 4.30, coming or not"
aaj ki party #Bhai ki taraf se.,today’s party from #Bhai side.
Aap logon ka pyar chahiye bashttps://twitter.com/Mr_LoLwa/status/894233360268009472 …,your love is all that is needed https://twitter.com/Mr_LoLwa/status/894233360268009472 …
"mehengi jagah hai na, mazaa aata hai","it is an expensive place, it is fun"
@ek_samosa_dena Gaanu Sach Bata,@ek_samosa_dena tell the truth gannu
"@PWNeha Usne 6 mahine pehle twitter chhod diya, baksh do usse @princeofodds @Psilosophy","@PWNeha she has left twitter 6 months back, spare her @princeofodds @Psilosophy"
faisal bhai .  . ye wala best hai :),brother faisal…. this one is the best...
@Atheist_Krishna Abe woh Didi nahi.. Bhaiyya hai @IamSakshi9,@Atheist_Krishna she is not a sister….she is a brother @IamSakshi9
@Shakti_Shetty is tweet ke liye kal subah tujhe julaab honge shakti.,@Shakti_Shetty you will have loose motions for this tweet tomorrow morning shakti.
those days .  .  . mario ki battakh pe uchal uchal ke khub life bnai mene,those days…I lived life by making mario’s duck jump
@IScreamPunday hai na maine nahi likha hai,"@IScreamPunday yes it is there, I have not written it"
"@Integrated_me :D koi na, hota hai!","@Integrated_me, it’s alright, it happens"
"to vinay dubey  ,  please stay away from my anurag ( mundhada )  .  he is mine  !  don't you dare flirt around with him or stock him  .","to vinay dubey , please stay away from my anurag ( mundhada ). he is mine ! don't you dare flirt around with him or stock him ."
@RowdyTalks Rowdy bhaiyya aaj mood me lag rahe ho,@RowdyTalks rowdy brother you are looking in the mood today
@YearOfRat haha! Ab bolne bhi sharm aarahi hai ke aaunga. Bas aana hoga tab phone kar dunga :-),@YearOfRat haha! now I am feeling shy even in saying I will come. i will call if I am coming
"#GuessTheSong
Phool ko bahaar, bahaar ko chaman","#GuessTheSong flower needs spring, spring needs garden"
looper was amazing !  !  !  now to the theatre to see simon callow's 'the mystery of charles dickens'  .  .  . loving my wednesday off work :-),looper was amazing!!! now to the theatre to see simon callow's 'the mystery of charles dickens' . . . loving my wednesday off work
PIB_India #UHF RT MIB_India : LIVE shortly : RailMinIndia Minister Shri sureshpprabhu presenting #RailBudget2015 at https://t.co/vGJq4YCXyc,pib_india #UHF retweet mib_india : live shortly : rail minister of india minister shri suresh prabhu presenting #RailBudget2015 at https://t.co/vGJq4YCXyc
exactly !  !  its awesome way to celebrate !  !  (y),exactly ! ! its awesome way to celebrate !
tu apni biwi se bartan manjwata hai ?,you make your wife wash the dishes?
Aaj to holiday mana Lena tha #Modi ji !! Itna kaam to mujh se aapki aadhi Umar mein b nahi Hota #namo #namo #jio hajaro saal,today you should have taken a holiday #Modiji!! at half your age also I can not do so much work  #namo #namo #jio thousand years
@Vyangkaar Bahut Malta. Thoda Swedish bhi tha.,@Vyangkaar lot of stuff was there. little bit of swedish was also there.
@mochaccino_ behen na banao to yaha ki ladkiya bolti hai flirt kar raha hai.. Behen banao to problem.. Kare kya phirpic.twitter.com/B5WYGZtagI,@mochaccino_ if you do not make girls your sisters then girls say you are flirting…. if you make them your sisters then there is problem…then what to do pic.twitter.com/B5WYGZtagI
Rahul gandhi is binging on a chhota bheem marathon . #WhereIsRahul @AAPlogical @bharat_builder,rahul gandhi is binging on a little bheem marathon . #WhereIsRahul @AAPlogical @bharat_builder
@Being_Humor Sachai toh hai iss baat mein.,@Being_Humor there is truth in this thing
baaju waali class k saamne se aisi shaan se guzarte the jaise andar waale kaidi aur hum angrezo k jamaane k jailer  .  .  .,we used to pass by the neighbouring class with such pride as if the insiders were prisoners and we were jailers of english era
"@akshaykanitkar subah phone kar? Aaj raat ka full plan hai, late afternoon kar sakte hai. What say?","@akshaykanitkar call in the morning? there is a complete plan for tonight, we can do late afternoon. what do you say?"
@Ojasism tu bhi tha 2013 me?,@Ojasism you were also there in 2013?
:'( Jo chahiye woh option nahi haihttps://twitter.com/theustraa/status/695159286465323008 …,what we want is not present as an option https://twitter.com/theustraa/status/695159286465323008 …
Modi jo kaise kaise logo ko follow karte hai.. Jo din bhar gaali dete rehte hai.. Sigh https://twitter.com/DrJwalaG/status/678078657831809024 …,respected modi follows what kind of people… who abuse throughout the day… sigh https://twitter.com/DrJwalaG/status/678078657831809024 …
@GaurangBhardwa1 Jo jo dekhega.. Uski sunday morning kharaab.. hahahaa,@GaurangBhardwa1 whoever will see it… there sunday morning will be spoiled …. hahaha
#GST Lagu ho jane k Karan #GujaratRSPolls me #MLA successfully nahi kharede Jasaje Nateejatan #AhmedPatel ko rokne me #Amitshah Bakaam rahe.,"because of implementation of #GST, in  #GujaratRSPolls, #MLA  could not be bought successfully, as a result #Amitshah failed in stopping  #AhmedPatel."
"""Meri aakhiri ichcha hai #KejriwalDiwas poori duniya manaye""pic.twitter.com/l3JIvFBfaA","""my last wish is that #KejriwalDiwas is celebrated world over""pic.twitter.com/l3JIvFBfaA"
Koi bhi link bhejo log samajhte hai ki RT ke liye bheja. What twitter has come to.,whatever link we send people think it is for retweet. what twitter has come to.
we got toffee instead of ladoo .  kanjoos the sare,we got toffee instead of ladoo. everyone was a miser
@arunjaitley Sahab #GST ka actual full form kya hai ? Aapko yaad bhi hai ya bhool gaye ???,@arunjaitley sir what is the actual full form of #GST? do you remember or you forgot???
"wahi main kahu ke gudda ka gag kaha gaya .  chauka chaukaaaahhh ,  chauka chaukaaaahhh !","that was what i was saying that where did guddu's gag go . four  four, four four !"
Salman bhai...suna hai ap ko kamar k takleef hai..allah ap KO jald sihat yab kare..AMEEN SUMA AMEEN,salman brother...i have heard that you have a back problem..hope prophet makes you healthy soon..prayers prayers prayers
.@angryoungwoman murgi aur taang ki baate kar rahi ho.. Lagta hai mohatarma aapko bhook lagi hai.. Khaane me rayta zaroor lena,.@angryoungwoman talking about chicken and leg.. i think respected madam you are hungry.. with food take rayta for sure
"Sunny Deol: Dhai kilo ka haath
Sonakshi: Saadhe teen kilo",sunny deol: two and half kilo hand  sonakshi sinha: three and half kilo
@Footloose_Free Waah Didi.. Maan gaye.. Aapki paar ki nazar aue Nirma Super dono ko,@Footloose_Free wow sister.. you made me believe you.. you are far eye sighted and nirma super both
"Yunhi tum mujhse DM par baat karti ho, ya koi WhatsApp ka iraada hai?","do you talk wtih me on direct messaging without any purpose, or there is intention of whatsapp?"
kaash contra ki padhai hoti to koi teacher bura nahi lagata or na hi koi kahta ye teacher theek se baat nahi karti .  hmmmm .  .  .  .,hope contradiction was taught as a subject then no teacher would have been hurt and nobody would have said this teacher does not talk properly.  ok .  .  .  .
"go try and win a ps vita at the lollipop chainsaw event at fish &amp; co .  @ glasshouse .  you may get bitten by zombies ,  but it's a ps vita !","go try and win a play station vita at the lollipop chainsaw event at fish and amp company .  @ glasshouse .  you may get bitten by zombies ,  but it's a play station vita !"
(reuters) - the season opener between the new york knicks and brooklyn nets set for thursday at the barclays cen  .  .  .  http/URL,(reuters) - the season opener between the new york knicks and brooklyn nets set for thursday at the barclays centre . . . http/URL
@Urban_Sanyaasi ye nahi ho sakta,@Urban_Sanyaasi this cannot happen.
@writetoghazni @nimesh4all @iqrabashir482 Mom dekh kal Pak women nahi Hijdi hai ! Lol,"@writetoghazni @nimesh4all @iqrabashir482, see mother its not a pakistani women, it is an enunch! laugh out loud!"
"don't worry . if a civil guy from private state college can be a coder in TCS , you can do better then him ur an IITIAN right ??","don't worry . if a civil engineering guy from a private state college can be a coder in tcs, you can do better then him, you are an iitian right ??"
@narendramodi bank employees vyapariyon se bilkul achha behave nahi kar rahe hai ... #pls kuch kijiye sir .... #notebandi ki takleef hone lagi,@narendramodi bank employees are not behaving properly at all with the businessman….please do something sir…#notebandi has started causing misery
kabhi-kabhi to chalk ki jageh teachrs ki bhi kami padh jati thi .  . skul main :(,"sometimes, instead of chalk, teacher were also in short supply …..in school"
"@Mocksterr thanks bro, ladkiyon ne mujhe cadburys gems samajh kar nighala hai","@Mocksterr thanks brother, girls have swallowed me considering me cadbury gems"
@WrongDoc Thailand ki whore ki yaad dila di aapne,@WrongDoc you made me remember the whore of thailand
"In Pakistan-
p1:bhai chal patang udaate hain
p2:haan bhai chal..
aur fir dono ne patang se Bomb bandh kar patang 'Uda' diya","in pakistan - p1: brother let us fly a kite, p2- yes brother let us go.  and then both tied a bomb to the kite and 'flew' it"
Is baar waale ne to rula hi diya yaar..,the person this time made me cry only friend…
RT @iVeronicaDani : Lets see what SureshPrabhu has in store for railways . Ab Prabhu bharose railways saathiyoon . #RailBudget2015 #PrabhuKi,retweet @iVeronicaDani : Let us see what sureshprabhu has in store for railways . now railways is entrusted to prabhu friends. #RailBudget2015 #PrabhuKi
@DefucktiveHumor bhai tu hai hi itna dashing.. Laundiya pagal ho gayee hai teri DP dekh kar,@DefucktiveHumor brother you are so dashing. girls have gone mad seeing your display picture
@DefucktiveHumor @galat_fehmi mujhe bhi,@DefucktiveHumorme @galat_fehmi me too
Waah kya trend hai #FarziPatrakarRavishKumarpic.twitter.com/ni6WDAYqu8,wow what a trend #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar pic.twitter.com/ni6WDAYqu8
ac milan ready to make january move for chelsea full-back ashley cole: san siro side want stamford bridge defend .  .  .  http/URL,associazione calcio milan ready to make january move for chelsea full-back ashley cole: san siro side want stamford bridge defend .  .  .  http/URL
And DDCA under Desh bhakt @arunjaitley stopped him for 1 year Kya raastravadi hai @narendramodi https://t.co/BQXQ7vFLNm,and delhi and district cricket association under patriot @arunjaitley stopped him for 1 year. what a nationalist @narendramodi https://t.co/BQXQ7vFLNm
guddu me talent to haiii :),guddu has got talent
"today is the day for them who are sick ,  or didi ka shadi hain !  !","today is the day for those who are sick , and it is also sisiter's wedding today !!"
Aisa pehli bar hua hai satra-athra saalo me. Roz head & shoulder lagaya fir bhi dandruff hua hai baalo me.,"this has happened for the first time in seventeen – eighteen years. i have applied head and shoulders every day, still there is dandruff in hair"
@lovehandle_ Becharay. Zyaada nehi hasengay unnpur,@lovehandle_ Becharay. will not laugh too much at them
Aaj RW sabko dhoyega. BJP ne paheli bar koi accha kaam kiya hai.,today right wing will roast everyone. bharatiya janta party has done some good work for the first time.
"Other news channels: Lunar Eclipse today
India TV: Naa nikle aaj ghar se, ghar waalo ke saath ho sakti hai unhoni","other news channels: lunar eclipse today.
 india television: don’t leave the house today, there can be a mishap today with family members"
"BJP lost, ok. Par Lalu jita, beyond disgusting. Is-se lakh guna accha Kejriwal jeet jaaye.",bharatiya janta party lost is ok. but lalu prasad won is beyond disgusting! millions time better would be that kejriwal wins
ben amos is on the bench for the england u21s .  as they take on serbia in the 2nd leg of their play-off for the euros .,ben amos is on the bench for the england under 21. as they take on serbia in the 2nd leg of their play-off for the euros .
"Modi will be the DJ for tonight, aaj bhi apme bhashan se logon ko ghar se ATM tak nachayenge. #Respect","modi will be deejay for tonight, today also he will make people dance from thier homes to automated teller machines with his speech. #Respect"
"aunty ji #TripleTalaq ban nahi hai instant #tripletalaq banned hai. agar kuch buddhi bachi hai to judgement padh ke ""aayiye bina homework ke thothli debate kyun??","respected aunty not #TripleTalaq, instead #triple talaq is banned. if some wisdom is left then read the judgement and come. why a stammering debate without homework?"
Ab to bhai Adhar geya tel lene #RightToPrivacy,now brother forget aadhar #RightToPrivacy
Avantika Garg is IIT experience not for u ? :P,avantika garg is iit experience not for you?
agar government ek baar saare bhikariyo ko iphone free me baant de to  .  .  .  india ke bahut saare log bevkoof ban ne se bach jayenge  .  .  jo sirf naam ke karan phone kharidte hai  .,if only government distributes free I phones to all the beggars…many people in india will be saved from being made a fool….who purchase a phone for name sake only.
@Ottayaana Dil ke saath ambition bhi toot jaata hai mere dost.,@Ottayaana ambition also breaks with the heart my friend
20 countries to attend iranplast 2012 expo: tehran - the 8th edition of the iranplast exhibition will open on  .  .  .  http/URL,20 countries to attend iranplast 2012 exposition: tehran - the 8th edition of the iranplast exhibition will open on  .  .  .  http/URL
Ma'am aap kis subject se #Masters or #Phd kar rahi hain #JNU se 29 years ki age me ? Jnu ke haal dekhkar sharm aati hai Jnu ke Teachers or students par chi .... jihadi log,"madam in which subject are you doing #Masters or #PhD from #JNU at the age of 29 years? i , feel ashamed seeing the condition of jnu, shame on teachers and students of jnu…terrorist people."
"sirji #jnu mein phele bhi interfere kiya tha govt ""ne but aap logo ne galat bandhe ko support kar usse star bana diya !!!!",respected sir government had interfered in #jnu before also but you people supported the wrong person and made him the star!
"RT @rawat_narayan : Havana & Japa On The Eve Of #Mahashivratri At Omkareshwar , Jyotirlinga . http://t.co/LW16CA1ZUR ; via AshramSewaTeam","retweeted @rawat_narayan sacred fire and chanting on the evening of#Mahashivratri at omkareshwar, jyotirlinga http://t.co/LW16CA1ZUR ; via ashram care team"
#RightToPrivacy Ab dekhtha hun kaun meri Bathroom waali,#RightToPrivacy let me see now who will take the picture of me in the bathroom
"Nahi aunty, woh to @MeetUunngLee hai",no aunty that is @MeetUunngLee
@RusticBihari Tu joke samjha ki nahi pehle ye bata ?,@RusticBihari first tell me whether you understood the joke or not?
@ajaikumar12 @ranijif ghanta mast hai,@ajaikumar12 @ranijif it is not fun
"with the wikileaks releases yesterday ,  it's only gonna help 3rd party candidates make an impact in the election .","with wikileak's release yesterday, it is only going to help 3rd party candidates make an impact in the election."
"@indiantweeter dekh bhai, main ladki nahi hu aur tujhe aana padega Gurgaon tak","@indiantweeter see brother, i am not a girl and you will have to come till gurgaon"
Ye santosh kaun hai?,who is this santosh?
RT @Swatiprakash14 : Feelings aur sab toh thik hai .. Par Height toh match karle bhai ..,retweet @Swatiprakash14: feelings and everything is alright….but match the heights atleast
4 baj gaye ana abhi bhi baki h?,it is 4 ’o' clock. yet to come?
haha! Nahi ye theek hi hai,"haha! no, this is alright only"
"higgins  "" great experience for the young group and to meet with premier league teams a real highlight ""   "" very young squad to play on sat "" ","higgins- ""great experience for the young group and to meet with the premier league team is a real highlight"" ""very young squad to play on saturday"""
@Atheist_Krishna @HathwalaThakur #facepalm Thankursaab bhi aagaye,@Atheist_Krishna @HathwalaThakur #facepalm sir has also come
"@mhassanaimc can win ager koi dhand ka captain ho , jo kay dur dur tak kahen nahi ha .","@mhassanaimc can win if there is a good captain, who is mostly not there"
"paper finished ,  cma's over ,  blake and miranda dominated ,  accounting hw got pushed to wednesday .  going to bed happy :)","paper finished, certified management accountancy is over, blake and miranda dominated, accounting homework now got pushed to wednesday. going to bed happily"
@Gurmeetramrahim @derasachasauda jiyge marge mr mitege desh k aan ban shan k liy or buraliyo ka khatma khrne k liy MSG tha #MSGmission,"@Gurmeetramrahim @derasachasauda messenger of god #MSGmission was to live or sacrifice oneself for the honour, dignity and pride of the country and destroy the evil."
"Log emotional movie dekhte time rote hain, Amir Khan hall se bahar aakar camera dekh kar rote hain.","people cry seeing an emotional movie, aamir khan goes out of the hall and cries on seeing the camera"
@ra_bies Inko @indiahistorypic maine kai baar pakda hai. Mauka dekh ke bhayankar troll karte hai wo bhi history se :D,"@ra_bies Inko @indiahistorypic i have catched it many times. when they see an oppertunity, they troll heavily from the history :D"
"Mami papaa , aur bacha party aur Sab kaise hai","mother, father and children, how is everyone?"
#ICYMI GST to be renamed Rajiv Maal aur Seva Lagaan http://www.theunrealtimes.com/2016/03/17/gst-to-be-renamed-rajiv-maal-aur-seva-lagaan/ … via @leftsound,#ICYMI goods and services tax to be renamed rajiv goods and services tax http://www.theunrealtimes.com/2016/03/17/gst-to-be-renamed-rajiv-maal-aur-seva-lagaan/ … via @leftsound
"channel 4 30 years old on friday !  d'oh showed some great programmes over the years ,  especially paul hogan .","channel 4 is becoming 30 years old on friday! they have showed some great programmes over the years , especially paul hogan."
"baby, ye saare kachhe khiladi hai yahan. So gaye :-(",baby these all are inexperienced players here. they have slept.
Is baat aise aag ki tarah faila do ki UNESCO bhi izzat bachane ke liye declare kar hi de yeh baathttps://twitter.com/PankajAdvani247/status/746284674540929025 …,spread this thing like wildfire so that even united nations education science and culture organization also declares the same thing to save its face https://twitter.com/PankajAdvani247/status/746284674540929025 …
"guddu english movies dekha kar  ,  kripa whi se aaegi :d","guddu watch english movies, grace will come from there only"
"#Railway track pe potty karne na jaayein . Usually log haathon se Gaand dhote hai , aap Gaand se haath dho baithoge #RailBudget2015 #Gyaan","don't go on the #Railway track for pooping . usually people wash thier backs with thier hands , but you will lose your back #RailBudget2015 #Gyaan"
@tweeting_pal bas sochti raho.. Mere liye pray mat karna,@tweeting_pal just keep on thinking. do not pray for me
@Untamed__Heart hum to yehi hai.. Aap hi gayab rehte ho.. Unke khayaalo me,@Untamed_Heart we are here only. you only are lost…in his fantasies
"@ivivekbansal Bihar ka apman ho raha hai, Nitish ka haarna tay hai #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra","@ivivekbansal bihar is getting humiliated, defeat of nitish is certain #NitishKaChehraDiveshSehra"
"blog post: vice president joe biden to present the top ten list on cbs's  "" late show with david letterman ,  ""  thursday ,  .  .  .  http/URL","blog post: vice president joe biden to present the top ten list on cbs's ""late show with david letterman "" on thursday , . . . http/URL"
"[pagasa] 6:39am intermittent light to occasionally moderate rains over southern portions of negros ,  cebu &amp; bohol may persist for the next .  .  .","[pagasa] 6:39am intermittent light to occasionally moderate rains over southern portions of negros, cebu and amp; bohol may persist for the next few days .  .  ."
"**(dm)** me the 1st thing that comes to ur head !  when u hear some1 say: one direction ,  harry , louis , zayn , niall or liam the boys","direct message me the 1st thing that comes to your head !  when u hear someone say: one direction, harry, louis, zayn, niall or liam the boys"
TOI wale bhai kumbh ho raha hai.. Tere baap ki shaadi nahihttps://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/617109330408517632 …,"times of india brother, kumbh is happening…..not your father’s wedding https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/617109330408517632 …"
@Vyomnaut Oh.. Tum to videsh me rehkar poore desh ki khabar le raho ho,@Vyomnaut oh…you keep yourself updated with the news of the whole country even though you stay abroad
Sochta hu uska bill kabhi mujhpe aaye toh https://twitter.com/firstpost/status/750359687711887360 …,i think if his bill comes to me sometime https://twitter.com/firstpost/status/750359687711887360 …
RT MLBANSAL : RT jsingh341 : RT ShatyUvma : RT cuteinsan : Gurmeetramrahim #MSG100CroreClub #MustWatchMSG craze for MS http://t.co/wfEmqNTcjS,retweet mlbansal: retweet jsingh341:  retweet shatyuvma: retweet cuteinsan: gurmeetramrahim #MSG100CroreClub #MustWatchMSG craze for meesenger http://t.co/wfEmqNTcjS
Prem Sachin Ramesh Ka Baggage Ghumayo? @British_Airways @sachin_rt,"lost the baggage of prem, sachin and ramesh? @British_Airways @sachin_rt"
@Sinceere_Angel maam.. Kaise kaise log hai yaha pe.. Pls kuch karo inka,@Sinceere_Angel madam….. what type of people have come here. please do something about them
"haan, sirdard shuru ho jata hai","yes, the headache starts"
"Pairon mein moch aur chhoti soch insaan ko aage badhne nahi deti.
#ForTheTimes",sprain in the leg and frivolous thinking does not let a man progress #ForTheTimes
rapidex english speaking course ka bhi ad kar deta bhai .  .  hahahaha,you should have put an advertisement for rapideax english speaking course also brother .  .  hahahaha
@OkieTataBye gud..matlab sab theek chal raha hai :),@OkieTataBye good it means all things are going all right
"Bechara #Pakistan bhikari ho Gaya "" Hai na @MaryamNSharif @CMShehbaz ab katora le Kar Kaha jaoge "" #trump ne 190 million USD ka jhatka Jo diya","pakistan is very unfortunate as trump has withdrawn 190 million usd, now what maryam sharif and shehbaz will do to control the situation"
"8 th Nov ko toh bade "" bade "" karodpati "" Bollywood k log ne apne kaale kamayi ko Nirav Modi k Jewellery khareed k thikane laga yete",on 8th November a number of Bollywood celibrities invested their black money in buying Nirav Mod's jwellery
RT @SilentlyBeating : Dhoni be like , Bhai bowling bhi tu hi kar .
" baap ke paise toh loota liye bhai, baap ne kaafi chhod kar gaya tha, magar baap baap tha","my father left a lot of money after his death, i wasted the whole money but there is no one like like him."
@ArvindKejriwal pranaam sir.. kuch inner party issues hai kya sir? AAP log AAPas mein kuch tweet kijiye na sir #DelhiSmog pe.,@ArvindKejriwal  if the internal issues in your party are resolved. give your justification by tweeting on #DelhiSmog
#RainCoat pehen k nahane wale Economist & opposition walo k liye ye khabar #SurgicalStrike se kam nhi hogi !,the economist who bath by wearing #RainCoat & and those who are in opposition this news will not be less than #SurgicalStrike 
Rohit Sharma hota to 200 ho jaate.,if rohit sharma was there in team could score more than 200 runs
RT @NaIna0806 : While Rahul was fooling around with rehearsed speeches it was #SmritiIrani who was at #Amethi solving real issues . https://,retweet @NaIna0806 : while Rahul was fooling around with rehearsed speeches it was #SmritiIrani who was at #Amethi solving real issues . http
Aajkal Bitcoin ka craze to dekho ..,nowadays there is a lot of craze of bitcoin in the market
Ye Indian railways hai ya desh ke yuva? Inki gaadi patri par chal hi nahi paatihttps://twitter.com/WeUttarPradesh/status/905697247760793600 …,"is this indian railways or youth of india, they are always to run on right track"
"Shoaib Akhtar: ""28 run dekhiye Dhoni ke aayein hain taang ke niche""

Bhai run ki baat kar rahe ho ya moot ki",shoaib akhtar see how dhoni has scoreed 28 runs in your prescencem. my dear are you talking about runs or urine 
happy valentines day ?  o . o say what ?  is it feb 14th already ?,happy valentines say is it 14th february today
bhai helo hi bol do...,please give some reply
@theKumarAkshay  Pls god  mujhko tu ek baar @Raghu_Dixit se milaaa de !! I wish to meet him  #WelcomeRaghuDixit http://youtube.com/watch?v=cimKayyh7pQ …,@theKumarAkshay  god please give me a chnace to meet @Raghu_Dixit !! I wish to meet him  #WelcomeRaghuDixit http://youtube.com/watch?v=cimKayyh7pQ …
@Atheist_Krishna naraaz ho gayee,@Atheist_Krishna are you upset
"Mitron Gujrat me Jo kuch problem hua ""#DeMo #GST ko leke uski zimadar #Congress hai.","my friends all the problems related #DeMo#GST that are there in gujarat ,# Congress is responsible for that"
"Kya kutta nahi hai? No problem behena, zara apne baal ko aage laao aur aadha muh dhak do, aadhe se zyada ho toh behtar. Zyada haseen lagogi","no problem my sister take your hairs in front and half cover your face with your hairs, then you would very beauyiful "
hahaha .  .  . awesone .  .  . ye h guddu ke t . v .  dekhne ke natije,these are the results of the fact that gddu is watching a lot of television
"Ayye Gulbadan ayye gulbadan, phoolon ki mahek kaanton ki chubhan.pic.twitter.com/tQNOZelPkB",hey gulbadan. you are smell of flowers and pinch like thorns pic.twitter.com/tQNOZelPkB
@ROFLaaLa @MeetUunngLee @Dishasatra hahaha! Sirf 2 hazaar? AUKAAT KYA HAI TUMHARI?,@ROFLaaLa @MeetUunngLee @Dishasatra hahaha! i am asking for just two thousand rupees are you able to pay this amount of money
"Sir @ArvindKejriwal 3 din khatam hue

Aaj balidan dena hai

#KejriwalBalidanDiwas","@ArvindKejriwal three days have finished. today you will have to sacrifice your life, #kejriwal BalidanDiwas"
@tweeting_pal Sir ko Sabarmati River front dikhana aur bolna ye Modi ji ne banwaya hai @sardesairajdeep,@tweeting_pal show sabarmati riverfront to sir and tell him that this was constructed by modoji @sardesairajdeep
Vry nce sir. <3,very nice sir love you
#Trump ji ne hamare #PM _ Modi ji ko nyota diya hai .... Dekhna hai #Modi _ Trump relation kaisa hota hai,"#Trumph invited our prime minister #PM_Modi, now the to see is that how is the relation between them "
"Aye mere watan ke logo jara aankh mein bhar lo pani' 

*sprinkles water in eyes*","all poeple of my country remember the people wo sacrificed the life ,sprinkle water on your eyes."
"@integrated_me are nahi, ek sundar, vivahit, ganitagya, bhartiya kanya irresponsible kaise ho sakti hai","@integrated_me this is not the case how can a beautiful, married, mathematician, indian woman can never be so irresponsible"
worlds longest confession  .  .  .  .  guinneas buk m bhijwa do is cnfssion ko  .  .  .,"this is the longest confession, send it for guineess book"
@Ra_Bies Sir raat ko aapke naam ki hichkiya leti hogi Pootna di,@Ra_Bies Sir raat ko aapke naam ki hichkiya leti hogi Pootna di
"#WIvZIM me agar Zimbabwe jeet jaati to , RaGa ka Empowerment waala dream poora ho jaata #WhereIsRahul #WhereIsRahulGandhi","in #WIvZIM if  zimbabwe would have won the match , then RaGa's empoverment dream would have been fulfilled #WhereIsRahul #WhereIsRahulGa"
We Miss U #Dhoni @msdhoni As a Captain Khaali Haath Aaye The hum Khaali haath jaayenge Legend,we miss you  #Dhoni @msdhoni as a Captain you came her without anything and going without anything
just cus it's friday here are 62 reasons why bill murray is awesome http/URL,just because it's friday here are 62 reasons why bill murray is awesome http/URL
Ab Afiridi strip dance karega or Qandeel Baloch dekhegiiii ...... yeh Balochistsn ki azadi ki jung hai,now afiridi will do strip dance and people of balochistan will watch it. this is the time for indepedence of balochistan
"RT @VadodaraHistory : Timelapse Video of Sursagar at #MahaShivratri , #Vadodara ( #Baroda ) ... Video : http://t.co/cTZkfwKUhV by Pranav Kothi .","retweet @VadodaraHistory : Timelapse Video of Sursagar at #MahaShivratri , #Vadodara ( #Baroda ) ... Video : http://t.co/cTZkfwKUhV by Pranav Kothi ."
Modi ji ne Tank nahi Puri Army hi khadi kardi #JNU me ... ise kahte hai so sunaar ki ek lauhar ki.. Jai Ho :),modi ji has brought not just army but even tanks in #JNU this is full action one response  
"Na shaadi, na suhaagraat, na bachche, na population growth

Ek teer, anek nishaane

Maan gaye Modi Ji ko

#DemonetizationEffecthttps://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/801009076989665280 …","we should not get married, not get children , then there would not be any population growth, from one step do many thing, modiji prooved himself #DemonetizationEffecthttps://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/801009076989665280 …"
.@ashutosh83B isko mobile ulta karke dekhnapic.twitter.com/0khmvxgTFP,.@ashutosh83B see the picture from his mobile by flipping it pic.twitter.com/0khmvxgTFP
"Dooriyan bhi zaroori hai pyar mein, kareeb toh apna haath bhi hota hai.
#OldMonkInPoetOut","there should be some seperation in love, even our hand is close to us"
the guy commited suicide  .  .  .  .  .  ye nahi dikh raha kisi girl ko  .  .  .  .  .  .,the guy commited suicide  no girl pays attention that the guy commited sucide
lol aap bhi number lagaye the kya @runjhunmehrotra,laugh out loud you also called @runjhunmehrotra
@Champ_Nikk Bijli bhi hogi bihar me #GoodByeNitishKumar,@Champ_Nikk grandmother might be also in bihar #GoodByeNitishKumar
yeh SRK ki photo kyu lagai hai waise?,this photo seem to be of SRK
".@ArvindKejriwal Obama plane mein baithe nahi, shuru ho gaye aap?",".@ArvindKejriwal Obama did not even sit in plane, you started "
"@Insane_chorri ask modi sir, wo ghumte rahte hai","@insane_chorri ask modi sir, he visit a lot of places"
@raggedtag mhanje? Kaay bolta tumhi?,"@raggedtag what does mean, you are saying what"
"Now Playing Lata Mangeshkar "" Manmohan Singh - Mere Pyar Ki Umar Ho Itni Sanam #latamangeshkar "" #manmohansingh","now playing lata mangeshkar "" manmohan singh - my lover gets this much age #latamangeshkar "" #manmohansingh"
@Ra_Bies @LoKarDi_RT koi kaam ki nahi hai ye,@Ra_Bies @LoKarDi_RT this thing is of no use
"Lord Krishna - Makhan Chor
Lord Vadra - Makaan Chor","lord krishna is also known as butter thief, lord varda is known as house theif"
@docsreet21 tumko sab pata hai behen,@docsreet21 you are aware of all the things
mjhe to lgta hai they hate hindu ' too tabhi unki hindu college walo se banti nahi hai :-p,i think that they hate hindu people that's why they do not have good relation with hindu college
A bhi jao mr.salman kaha ho,come where ever you are mr. salman
"anyway ,  sorry for these random tweets about the finder .  unfollow for the night .  i'll be back to normal sports stuff tomorrow","anyway , sorry for these random tweets about the finder .  unfollow for the night .  i will be back to normal sports stuff tomorrow"
"sahi waqt hai netaji, chhaap do ek-do mahine mein. Public ko chahiye aisa kuch.","hey minister this is the right print all the stuff, the public wants such kind of things"
"Ya rabba de de koi ____  bhi agar, dilbar pe ho na , dilbar pe ho na koi asar.",hey lord even if i sacrifice my life there would not be any effect on beloved
@ravishndtv @ndtv kuch sikhaao apne bhai ko !,@ndtv please train your person @ravishndtv
@twinitisha kar to sahi pahle,@twinitisha first try it
Bhaijaan baat se palat gaye...... yeh aapki fitrat mai nai ho sakta.... aapka P.A naam kharaab kar rha hai aapka,bhaijaan you did not followed what you said this is not your ethics. your personal assistant is harming your reputation
RT @zoomphatak : Shakira- hello .. Subramanium Swami hai ? Servant- saab Africa gaye hai Shakira- Swami na mila .. e e e .. waka waka .. e e e .. he '''',retweet @zoomphatak : shakira- hello is subramanium swami there? servant- he went to africa shakira- swami we did not get swami wakka wakka he he
@Dishasatra arre mujhe jawab diya tumne? Handle sahi chuna hai na? Ye main hu,@Dishasatra this is me. you replied to me? did you choosed correct handle?
aapke gags a1 hai faisal bhai .  din acha jata hai padhkar .,yours gags are of fantastic quality my day goes very good after studying 
"#DeMonetisation se ubhre bhi nahi the abhi ke Sab #GST mein uljhe hain ""bhai baqi kuch nazar nahi aa raha. Yehi to chaal hain !!",we did not recovered from #DeMonitisation suddenly #GST came .what is happening
Ajab Hisab ki Gajab Kahanipic.twitter.com/opZOSj5DH9,a very differnet story pic.twitter.com/opZOSj5DH9
"oh bhai, just checked, mujhe bhi follow kar liya :(",i recently checked  my account why you started following me
"RT @nalinisinghtv : Renowned Shri Pashupati Nath Temple complex in Kathmandu has sufferred no damage , is safe , acc to reports .","retweet @nalinisinghtv : Renowned Shri Pashupati Nath Temple complex in Kathmandu has sufferred no damage , is safe , according to reports ."
@tweeting_pal Pallo bata do @Joydas ko .. maine aajtak sirf tumse tumhara attention maanga.. Paise nahi,@tweeting_pal Pallo tell @Joydas ko that i always wanted your attention not your money 
@HathwalaThakur kaha se dhoonda thakur bhai @Amit_smiling,@HathwalaThakur from where you get thakur bhai @Amit_smiling
Garba maa dhoom machi jaaye re pic.twitter.com/IvmlZSKocx,we have a very good garba pic.twitter.com/IvmlZSKocx
@pawandixit8 @sanjaynirupam @khan Nirupam sahab ! Agla congress darshan kab karva rahe hai ? Ab to @OfficeOfRG bhi vapas aaye hai . Once more !,@pawandixit8 @sanjaynirupam @khan Nirupam sahab when you will again come to congress office? now @OfficeOfRG bis also coming back .once more !
Yaar ye The Prestige kya hai?,my dear friend what is meaning of prestige
"uski angrreji maar daalegi, soch raha hu angreji mein bhi puch hi lu. Thodi hasi milegi :D","he is not very good at english,i will ask something to him in english,  just for fun"
"Ye Raghu naam ke sab Roadies hote hai, inke naam mein hi Gu hai  #Respecthttps://twitter.com/EakJustuju/status/874982783482974208 …","alll the poeple whose name is raghu are all roadies, even there name is not good #Respecthttps://twitter.com/EakJustuju/status/874982783482974208 …"
chalk to kashmir hua karta ha tb .  dusre section wale maar kaat par utar aate the .,"once kashmir used to be a chalk, people of other used to be violent"
"aaja uth ke, soch mat. Kal hi aaja. What say?","do not think after waiking up today,you come tomorrow. what you say"
Lakin Batting Karne Ni Aaya ...,but i didn't got batting
"Daadi keemti hai iski koi keemat nahi laga sakta, tum ko kuch lene ki zaroorat hai, ye kya haal banaye rakha hai?","my grandmom is vry precious ,you do not need to take anything and why you have made such a condition"
"@hitennarendra haha bilkul, kabhi program banate hain :)",@hitennarendra yes ofcourse we will have a program some day.
"hum koi kaam bina proof ke nahi karte hai ji.. unlike Mufflerman

https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/803083709612077056 …
@amz360","unlike mufflerman we do not do anything without any proof https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/803083709612077056 …_x000D_
@amz360"
"@InglouriousBkof yahan chicks nahi kudi hai, thoda locha hai","@lngloruriousBkof there are no chicks as you told but there is a girl, there is something wrong going "
@RubikaLiyaquat ji please @AkhileshPSingh se poochiye ki agar jents ki proof Karna hoga ki usne #tripletalaq nahi Diya hai to PHIr case hi khatam ho jata hai ...??? Please ask .....,@RubikaLiyaquat ji please ask @AkhileshPSingh if  he want to proof #tripletalaq is not given then phlr case is closed?please ask 
"Oonchi dukaan pheeka pakwan
Khadad ki langoti, chandi ka pikwan
Sau mein se assi beimmaan
Phir bhi mera desh mahaanhttps://twitter.com/badechote/status/860133364724006912 …","overrated ,very rich ,out of hundred eighty are businessman,then also my country is very great https://twitter.com/badechote/status/860133364724006912 …"
RT @rishibagree : Contrast this with BJP Atal Bihari Vajpayee's Lok Sabha speech when they were short of nos . http://t.co/ezANVnE0R3 #AAP,retweet @rishibagree : contrast this with bjp's atal bihari vajpayee's lok sabha speech when they were short of numbers . http://t.co/ezANVnE0R3 #AAP
Happy #Mahashivratri To All My Brothers & Sisters @narendramodi Bhole Baba aapki Saari Manokamna Puri Kare ..... #Jai_Mahakaal,happy #Mahashivratri to All my brothers and sisters @narendramodi bholebaba completes all your wishes #Jai_Mahakaal
"nirbhaya pe film ban chuka ""h banned bhi ""hogya lekin kisine oppose nhi kiya",there is already a film made on brave it is banned but no one opposed it
arey suno yaar .  .  .  . kabhi guddu ki gf to dikhao,hey friends show me guddu's girlfriend
Bhai AB-Amla out ho jaao. Baki 9 log bewkoof nahi hain jinhone 20 over fielding ki hai.,"amla please get out, other 9 people in the team want to do batting"
"Chachi ji @taslimanasreen ye aap ki jawani ki photo hai, abhi aap 52 ki ho gayi ho.","uncle @tasliminasreen this is your photograph when you were young, now you have got 52 years old"
@Fussy_Ca bhadka mat.. Mein control kiye hue hu,"@Fussy_Ca do not make me angry, i am controlling my anger"
@UniqueIdiot_ Haha.. Bhai shaadi ka laddoo.. jo khaye wo bhi pachtaye.. jo naa khaye woh bhi,"@uniqueIdiot the person who does marriege regrets, one who does not get married in life that also regrets of not getting married"
"Bure time nahi, log hote hai.","the time is not bad , but the bad people around make the moments bad"
@huh_watnow aaj phir tum pe pyaar aaya hai..,@huh_watnow once again i have fell in love with you
Desh ke saare judge bhaitard hai kya ??https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/626259408239112192 …,are all the judges of our country fair??https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/626259408239112192 …
@rsrajat365 bahut drama karta hai yaar,@rsrajat you make a lot of excuses
"""Waise #JNU me aaj kal #KulbhushanJadhav ke liye naare lagte hai kya? Did any one return his/her #award for him?",by the way in  #JNU nowadays for #KulbhushanJadhav rallies are being done? did any one return his/her #award for him?
aur kuch dost guddu k face expression dekhne aate hai yahan :d :d :d,anything else we come here to see face expressions of guddu
@drpoonam @runjhunmehrotra hadh hoti hai yaar :'(,@drpoonam @runjhunmehrotra  this is beyond the limits
@iNeelSoni jale nahi barabaei kare ,)
Bhai Amazon se ladkiya mangwayee thi kya ?https://twitter.com/Fussy_Ca/status/748181996992487424 …,brother did you ordered girls from amazon? https://twitter.com/Fussy_Ca/status/748181996992487424 …
Garv hai👉 National anthem jab bhi sunte hai we feel proud and automatically we Standup JaiHo👍 #Bharat mata ki Jai🙏,with pride hai👉 whenever we listen national anthem we always feel prud and automatically stand up JaiHo👍 #Bharat mata ki Jai🙏
"koi nahi karti, tumhare account ke peeche bhi koi ladka hi lagta hai mujhe. Strong doubts hai.",no girl does this. it seems that some boy is behind your account. it is strongly doubted
Modi ji ka Hath hai. Ye scam hai ji #DelhiSmog,it's modiji's hand .it is c=full of scam #DelhiSmog
@Alllahdin maine gaye saal kiya tha ye tweet :'(,@Alllahdin i did this tweet last year
@Pluuummm LOL. Awww. Mazza aajaye bas draw bhi hojaye chalega,@Pluuummm laugh out loud. Awww. it will be joyfull even if it is a draw
@iawoolford ye to hamara kshetra hai sir :),@iawoolford sir this is our region
guddu: mujhe bhuk nhi hai aur aaj dunia ki koi bh takat mujhe pura match dekhne se hila nahi dekh sakti .  .  .,guddu: i am nt hungry and no one in this world can not stop me in watching this match
pratiyogita darpan (y),mirror of the competition (y)
Ambani ji #jio pakka 12:00 AM ke baad hi 1 GB data dete hai kuch to gadbad hai,ambaniji always give  1gb #jio data after 12 am it is strabge
"RT @srithh : #MahaShivratri Sanskrit word "" Shiva "" comes from Shri Rudram Chamakam of Taittiriya Samhita of Krishna Yajurveda #hindu http://t .","retweet @srithh : #MahaShivratri is a sanskrit word "" shiva "" comes from shri rudram chamakam of taittiriya samhita of Krishna Yajurveda #hindu http://t ."
"@indiantweeter saale nazar na laga, ek hi hai","@indiantweeter i have only one , do not keep your eyes on it"
"bahot zyada, aur bhi hai aise mutants. Inhe zindagi mein kya chahiye inhe khud ko nahi pata.",there are many other mutants like this. what they want from life even they do not know
Bhai Mene Teri sabhi video dekhi..achi hai..Good work..but ek bhi video #JNU me Jo hua us pe nahi hai,brother is saw your vedios all were very nice but none of them should not be on what is happening in #JNU
pm modi kisi ka mazak nahi uda rahe hai .  .  .  .  .  .  . we to sachhae baya kar rahe hai .  .  .  .  .  .  jai hind .  jai bharat .,pm is not making fun of any one he is just telling the truth jai hind jai bharat
@Fussy_Ca aur tu duniya ka best playboy hai,@Fussy_Ca your are best player in the world
RT @sagarcasm : * At a medical store * Kohli - Bhaiya condom dena Shopkeeper - Kounsa dun ? Dotted ? Kohli - Mujhe dots pasand nahi . #IndvsWI,retweet @sagarcasm : * at a medical store * Kohli - brother give condom shopkeeper - which one i should give ? dotted ? Kohli - i don not like dots#IndvsWI
kiran bedi + narendra modi = dilli ka satyaanash  !  !  !,when kiran bedi and narendra modi will stand thier party is definately going to win win elecctions
Kya hai yar ye!!,brother waht is this?
@Miss_Ankiita tu chal rahi hai kya mere saath ? @_tripfactory,@Miss_Ankiita are you coming with me? @_tripfactory
@Alllahdin  Pi lete hai? Ek ghante mein sona hai magar. Uthne nahi hoga,@Alllahdin  we should drink? but we need to sleep within one hour. otherwise we would not be able to wake up
"nice tobe thiseid eve,,,,,eidmubarak",nice to be at this eid event  eidmubarak
He is helping me out since 2nd sem :D . how can i forget to thank him 11,He is helping me out since 2nd sem :D . how can i forget to specially thank him 
Kaju woh Aunty kaisi hai? Geele joote taiyar hai na?,kaju how is aunty? are the wet shoes ready?
@Lagharvaghar are char mention aa chuke hai kisi ke,@Lagharvaghar someone has got it mentioned as four
"@indiantweeter bhai botal chhod de, bas ho gaya","@indiantweeyer levae the bottle,it's enough"
RT AnkitaInsa : RT jsingh341 : RT drajayam_ajay : RT SuyashInsan : Gurmeetramrahim thank u pitaji n come soon be with me always #MustWatchMSG #,retweet ankitaInsa : retweet jsingh341 : retweet drajayam_ajay : retweet suyashInsan : gurmeetramrahim thank you father and come soon be with me always #MustWatchMSG #
"Main tulsi tere aangan ki.
Tu rajnigandha mere jeewan ka.","i am pride of your home, you are like rajnigandha in my life "
@PratipJames321 barkha dutt ki jaati aur gender Ravish ne apnaya tha #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,@PratipJames321 Ravish followed barkha dutt's caste and gender  throughout life #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar
@BolshoyBooze hua kya tha? kal raat kuchh tweet chori ki baaten ho rahi thi :),@BolshoyBooze what happened? yesterday night some tweets about robbery were tweeted 
"Jaise Congress party ne karza maaf kiya tha "" waise hi Modiji ko kahiye ki karein "" unhone Mallya ka toh kar diya : #RahulGandhi in Deoria","as congress has pardoned all the loans "" ask modiji to do the same "" for mallaya he had done this : #RahulGandhi in Deoria"
@HakeemHera Dur-Asal hamari team nahin chahti kay Qandeel Baloch koi gunda kaam karay,@HakeemHera Dur-Asal our team does not want that qandeel baloch doesnot so some criminal work again
@dr_maheshsharma @pal_jagdambika Good Sir Basti district ke janta ki aur se aap ko Bahut bahut dhanybad,@dr_maheshsharma @pal_jagdambika Good Sir a lot of thanks to you from people of bast district
#BCCI ko china mobile company #oppo ko jaldi se jaldi #India _ cricket _ jersey se @oppo sponsorship ko hta dena chaiye #SachinTendulkar,lifes of people bajringi bhaijaan
janno ki jaan bajrangi bhaijaaan.,lifes of people bajringi bhaijaan
"jis jamhooriyat ko aap bachaane nikli hain , janaab-e-aali uski aap hi ki sarkaar ne bahut pehle dhajjiyaan uda di thi #NotUsingHashtag","the folkiness for which you want to save, your government have already insulted a lot before"
@Champ_Nikk ab pachtaaye kya hot hai.. Jab chidiya chug gayee khet @ANI_news,@Champ_Nikk why are you regretting now once time has gone away @ANI_news
RT @IndianExpress : Live #RailBudget2015 : Swaach Bharat Abhiyan will be implemented in railways . Cleanliness is a priority : Prabhu http://t .,retweet @IndianExpress : live #RailBudget2015 : swaach bharat abhiyan will be implemented in railways cleanliness is a priority prabhu http://t .
"tum par hum hai atke yaara, dil bhi maare jhatke.","we have got stuck on you, my heart gives a lot of electric shocks"
@KShisodia Arre. Pyar toh dekho na,@KShisodia dear see the love
@White_Crimes bhagaana hi chahiye!,@White_Crimes should be removed!
guddu ko smart phone ki jarurat hai :p,guddu needs a smart phone
"Basanti: Chal Dhanno ... aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawaal hai!

Dhanno: Bitch please, Maneka Gandhi will come for you.

#Sholay2016",basanti: dhanno run faster ypu have to keep my respect. dhanno: maneka gandhi will come to help you #Sholay2016
@rjraunac Bhai ki jai... https://poll.fbapp.io/india-radio-forum-popular-rj-of-the-year …,victory @rjraunac https://poll.fbapp.io/india-radio-forum-popular-rj-of-the-year …
Rahul Gandhi agar totla hota to 'suit-boot ki sarkaar' kaise bolta,"if rahul gandhi was dumb, how he would say 'government of suit-formal shoes' "
Business zara bhi na ho par har mahine CA ko bhar ke paise jarur do wah! @askGST_GoI #Gst,even if business is not going well then also keeping CA and machines for work! @askGST_GoI #Gst
"haha, bahot hi ghatiya naam diya hai","haha, this is very weired name"
"tu kitni achhi hai ,  tu kitni bholi hai pyaari pyaari hai ,  o maa o maa o maa ,  o maa !  !  !  :)","you are a good girl, "
"@pranavsapra Tum jahan bhi jaate ho, wahan bachche rona shuru kar dete hain?",@pranavsapra wherever you go the children ther starts crying
"@0__1 babaji ki krupa se ye hua hai, operation kara liya",with @0__1 babaji 's blessings we did the operation
"Shiv Sena's logic is like the IT support in offices, ek baar BANDH kar ke dekho phir chalu hojayega.","shiv sena's logic is like the IT support in offices, once you stop it then again starts"
@AndroidWaleBaba wo kyu nahi aaya?,@AndroidWaleBaba why he did not came?
@light_0n accha use kore dekhbo ekbar .,@light_0n ok try using it for one time
@Atheist_Krishna Ashutosh to Anil Kapoor ji ko hi nigal jaega,@Atheist_Krishna ashutosh will scold anil kapoor
@rimsriya @SonyTV Naam kucho naahi hai humaar lekin pata nahi kaahey sab log humka PK-PK bulawat hai? #PKTonight @SonyTV,@rimsriya @SonyTV i do not have any name but people call me by name of pk #PKTonight @SonyTV
@AGirlOfHerWords @floydimus Hota toh Mumbai main bhi hai,@AGirlOfHerWords @floydimus is also ther in mumbai
nafrat se zyada badboo aayegi.. aaj nahaya ya nahi gandu,"nafrat will smell will smell very very bad, did he took a bath today"
"1 cup resham
1/2 kg sheesha
heere & moti for garnishing

Recipe for Kaliyon Ka Chaman.","1 cup silk, 1/2 kg glass, diamonds and pearls for garnishing"
@oothikicha India ke batting time pe kahin gayab ho jaa.,@ootikicha get lost at the time when india will be batting
Pehle gala to theek kara lehttps://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/315287025022558208 …,first make it wet properly https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/315287025022558208 …
"Jab tak #India se #Corruption khatm nahi ""hota tab tak #GST se Collected sara Paisa Corrupt #Babus & #politicians ki Pockets me jata rahega.",untill the corruption is finished from india all the money collected from gst would go into pockets of the ministers
"Itni energy vaala perhaps he koi p.m.raha ho india ka, aapkey liyye bhagvaan se prey kertey hai, sabka saath... Sabka vikas....jai ho","ther might be no pm of india with this amaunt of energy, we pray to god for this, support to everyone grow with everyone..jai ho"
@confusedbf_ bhai birthday nahi hai iska band karo yeh sab  @DefucktiveHumor,@confusedbf_ brother today is not the birthday please stop it @DefuctiveHumor@lkumar7
@PriyancaBajaj Hahaa poocho Amit sahab ke bachche hai ya center ko letter likhe  @DefucktiveHumor @Ikumar7,@PriyancaBajaj laughing ask Amit sir if he has children or give letter to center@DefucktiveHumor @lkumar7
.@BhayanakPuppy Pehle iski sirf awaaz washing machine wali thi.,.@BhayanakPuppy at first his voice sounded like washing machine
"Kejriwal's #TwoLinesCV 

1. Ye sab Modi ji karwa rahe hai
2. Sab mile hue hai ji",kejriwal's #TwoLinesCV 1. alll the things have been done by modi ji 2.all the people are collectively against him
RT @nickhunterr : In Early days when a new baby born : Mom to son- Ye exact teri hi Carbon Copy hai . Now a days : Mom to son- Ye exact tera h,retweet @nickhunterr : In earlier days when a new baby born : mom to son- he is exact your carbon copy . nowadays : mom to son- he is exact yours
@balliawalebaba mera pyaar Sagarika hai.. Barkha nahi,@balliawalebaba i love sagarika not barkha
"Aajkal Shobha bhi nahi deti, frustratiya gaye hai. Koi feminist bhi aaj kal muh nahi lagta","nowadays this does not give grace , i have got frustated. even feminist does not ask me"
recaptured those awsm moments of life :d,recaptured those awesome moments of life 
@indiantweeter Thanks Bhai :),@indiantweeter Thanks brother 
@zoomphatak naa rahe gham.. Agar piyo roz rum ,)
"Modi's Economy knowledge of size of postcard ticket does VIKAS of Gujarat n Chidambarams knowledge of size of his "" Dhoti "" stay back India !!","modi's economy knowledge of size of postcard ticket does development of gujarat and chidambarams knowledge of size of his "" dhoti "" stay back India !!"
@twinitisha pagal bana diya hai,@twinitisha you made us fool
"published a new blog entry november 18 -  "" otherwise known as sheila the great ""  in art in the county .  http/URL","i have published a new blog entry on november 18 titled -  "" otherwise known as sheila the great ""  in art in the county .  http/URL"
guddu se bada to bat hai :p,guddu is smaller in height than bat
#surgicalstrike ek baat aur @narendramodi sir ... Prasar Bharti mein baithe @sunilalagh Jo damaad Samir Nair CEO Balaji ki jeb bharte hain,#surgicalstrike ane more thing @narendramodi sir @sunilalagh sitting in prasar bharti who just gives the money to his son in law balaji ceo of samir nair  
Sabhi Trading Karke Bahot Accha Faida Utha Sakte Hai ...,by doing good trading all of us can make good profits 
#smogindelhi @ArvindKejriwal sirf twitter pe hi kaam karoge? Sirf tweet karna aur retweet karne ka hi kaam bacha hai CM? kabhi delhi me bhi kuch kaam kar lo 0,#smogindelhi @ArvindKejriwal would you do work on just twitter? cm do you only have the work of tweeting and retweeting? sometime do some work on delhi city
@ArvindKejriwal Sir Ji issey proof man le ya issey bhi bika hua bata de #SurgicalStrike #SurgicalStrikes,@ArvindKejriwal sir should we consider it as a proof or as sold out thing  #SurgicalStrike #SurgicalStrikes
@tgirishkumar Patthar Ke Phool @BeingSalmanKhan @TandonRaveena,@tgirishkumar emotionless person @BeingSalmanKhan @TandonRaveena
@Insane_chorri 3400 ?? Poore mohalle ko dikhwa di ? @abpnewstv @BBThisEid @BeingSalmanKhan,@Insane_chorri 3400 did you tell this to all people @abpnewstv @BBThisEid @BeingSalmanKhan
"""Aaj pada kisi aur ne aur ilzaam hume bhigatna pad raha hai"" ~ Snapdeal",today someone else read but we ha to face the consequences ~ Snapdeal
RT @ndtv : Smriti Irani's comments disputed by doctor who declared Rohith Vemula dead https://t.co/dL79mYiFY1 https://t.co/9VZEElAWbt,retweet @ndtv : smriti irani's comments disputed by doctor who declared Rohith Vemula dead https://t.co/dL79mYiFY1 https://t.co/9VZEElAWbt
"Janwaron ko milega chara apar
jab hoga #LaluMuktBihar",animals would get good quality grains when #LaluMuktBihar will be there
@Miss_Ankiita khud duniya se flirt karti rehti hai,@Miss_Ankiita is flirting with the whole world
"Universal truth is, sab chutiye hai.",this is universal truth that all are fool
@bolbae_bacchan kis cheez ke liye behen?,@bolbae_bacchan for what thing my sister?
Alka Lamba akeli bach gayee AAP mehttps://twitter.com/airnewsalerts/status/678591131660095488 …,alka lamba is only safe in AAP https://twitter.com/airnewsalerts/status/678591131660095488 …
@BeingSalmanKhan bhaijaan kitna bada dil hai aapka. Raees jaroor dekhenge.,@BeingSalmanKhan brother you vey big heart. rich people would watch this.
Salmaan sir bole or kaam na ho..sawal hi nhi ho skta...god sir Aap to sir..my god,once salman khan say something and that does not completes this is not possible.sir you are my god
@Riteishd @SimplySajidK whatsapp ke jokes suna ke aapse bhi aisi 3-4 films karwa di bhai ne. Ab chakkar me mat aana,"@Riteishd @SimplySajidK after telling whatsapp jokes he ha done 3-4 films , now agaon again get into the trap"
Sir !! Ladki ke liye bhagwaan hi badal liya @angryoungwoman,sir for a girl you changed your religion@angrywoman
@BabaFirki aur bhi lehttps://youtu.be/Vn8mIdE3uQE ,@BabaFirki more vedios https://youtu.be/Vn8mIdE3uQE 
"anna ka the end ho gaya hai ,  bakne do .  use an sirf kejari ko jarurat hai wo jay unke pas . ","anna is now no more very powerful,let him speak, kejriwal need him so must must listen him"
"Mitthi ki hai jo khsuhbu, tu kaise bhulayega? Tu chahe beh jaaye tu laut ke aayega.. https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/646286561235963904 …",you will never forget your home country. you go anywhere you wil get back once   https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/646286561235963904 …
#IndvsSA I have told today morning killed hum mauke pe chuka marenge ......,#IndvsSA I have told today morning that we will win at the right moment
Zimbabwe Pakistan ko masalte hue #PakVsZimpic.twitter.com/ihtiXBqpmd,Zimbabwe beats Pakistan #PakVsZimpic.twitter.com/ihtiXBqpmd
"@YearOfRat Meetha hai kya? LOL.
Better brother, chal paa raha hu :)","@YearOfRat Do you have some sweet? laugh out loud. better brother, now i am able to walk "
@DefucktiveHumor @TimesNow kiska kutta hai,@DefucktiveHumor @TimesNow is owned by whom
"@MeetUunngLee sab mazaak kar rahe hai bhai, sense of humor kaafi achha hai un ladkiyon ka","@MeetUunngLee all of them are just joking, those girls have a good sense of humor"
anybody in the #dmv want to buy a pair of anthony hamilton tickets ?  dm me for details .  the show is tomorrow at constitution hall .,anybody in the #dmv want to buy a pair of anthony hamilton tickets for tomorrow's show at constitution hall . ? please contact me for details . 
.@Shakti_Shetty Arre Ye toh bolta hai!! TOBU BOLTAAY!pic.twitter.com/fuKNBTFUVs,.@Shakti_Shetty hey he speaks!! tobu speaks !pic.twitter.com/fuKNBTFUVs
@MohitParmarr bhai wo ho chuka hai,@MohitParmarr brother that thing thing has been done
"@Insane_chorri Kohinoor hamara tha, kohinoor hamara hai, kohinoor hamara rahega. #BYE","@Insane_chorri Kohinoor was ours, kohinoor is ours, kohinoor will be ours. #BYE"
RT @GIRISHlht1978 : @aaprohit @ArvindKejriwal kejaru bhai ! pm aahab wo paisa apne liye mang rahe hai ? aapne jo taxes badhaye usase to mla ki s,retweet @GIRISHlht1978 : @aaprohit @ArvindKejriwal sir now prime minister is collecting taxes for his use. all the taxes you raised from that mla ki s
"Zindagi mein bahot dhoke khaye hai, abhi abhi ek apple bhi dho ke khaya hain.","i have been fooled many times life, now i ate apple after cleaning it"
"Badi begairat "" jumlebaj hai government",government just says things but in real it does not does the work
"@tweeting_pal not sure how, logo ko ladkiyo se jalan hoti hai ","@tweeting_pal not sure how, people are jealous of girls"
@Being_Humor haha! Lage reh badhiya hai!!,@Being_Humor haha! continue it
RT @sureshnakhua : Dear @indiatoday Kohli ne to tumhari story ki Indrani-Sheena kar di,retweet @sureshnakhua : Dear @indiatoday kohli has insulted you for your story
RT @ZoomTV : Post Bajirao success Ranveer Singh now charges as much as Shah Rukh Khan for performances https://t.co/itB7VhUJRs,retweet @ZoomTV : after bajirao success ranveer singh now charges as much as shah rukh khan for performances https://t.co/itB7VhUJRs
omg hahahahahaha .  .  .  lolz  .  .  guddu ab kam se kam 3 mins baad hi ayega garbage bin ,) 
"Sir @narendramodi, ho gaya to ab kaam pe lag jayen ?","sir @narendramodi, if you are done should we start the work?"
"after the mid tennessee vs .  western kentucky game ,  i hear they're gonna play the 2nd annual ogalla ,  nebraska snail chuckin' pageant . ","after the mid tennessee vs . western kentucky game ,  i have heard they are going to play the 2nd annual ogalla ,  nebraska snail chuckin' pageant ."
"@FotuWali yaar ye Himesh nahi hai, stop doing this.","@FotuWali this work is not done by himesh, stop doing this."
ab se daily watch english news on tv  .  . and english channels  .  .,from il will daily watch english news on and english channels  tv  
@AmiteshKm Ek thaali man. Ek thaali.,@AmiteshKm one plate man.one plate
Itne paiso me ek Patek Phillippe to aa hi jata https://twitter.com/ajayacharya/status/894517314325958656 …,in this amount of money we can get Patek Phillippe https://twitter.com/ajayacharya/status/894517314325958656 …
"@aanchalator Paanch saal, roz bawaal ",@aanchalator for five years there is some trouble everyday
Movie dekh ke..aansu aagya yar..Very good movie,"i cried after watching this movie, this is very good movie"
@Integrated_me pehle ladki shaadi ke liye haan to bole,@integrated_me should say yes for marriege to girl
Wah! Jitni sundar geet ke bhao hain utnihi sundar aur sureeli aawaz hai .,wow! your voice is as sweet as the rate rate charged for it
Ok @MeetUunngLee tu kar lena bhai,ok @MeetUunngLee brother you do the work
@TheRahulMahajan Mumbai jaane ki jaldi hai.. Rocket peeche hai,@TheRahulMahajan if you want to reach very early . a rocket is lying besides you
@LEDtvn usne rakha tha.. Tere liye,he kept an @LEDtvn for you
live chat karna kaise hai???,how to do live chat
@iamsourav007 nahi dekha. Will see,@iamsourav007 if you did not saw.you will see
Pata ni kabhi meri b kismat mehrbaan hogi or me b bhai jaan se mil paunga..Ae khuda. Raham..:-) <3,oh my lord when i would be enough fortunate and will get a chance to meet bhai jan
Kuch samajh nhi aa rha ye Summer offer Lagta Hai kauno firki le rha hai #Jio #AprilFool,i do not understand who is making fool of summer offer #Jio #AprilFool
i don't like u kejriwal sahab,i do not like you mr. kejriwal
7th scene in the sequence is the happiest moment of everyone's life .  .  itni khushi milti thi jaise bhagwaan se bhi badhkar koi hai .  .  yeh ehsaas dilata tha,"7th scene in the sequence is the happiest moment of everyone's life . i gives happieness like you are more fortunate than god,it gives such experience"
@chyprashant #CrackerNACrackKAR bolne wale ki baat mat sun,@chyprashant  do not listen to those who say #CrackerNACrackKAR 
@Rohini_Sharma Bhai @Vyomnaut tere ko memsaab bhai bol rahi hai,@Rohini_Sharma brother @Vyomnaut is asking for you 
Achcha baki sab chhodo .. Tumhe 'Ice Girl' ki kasam.. Pls #SupportIceHockeypic.twitter.com/dl1OhEwqcP,ok leave other else things you swear in name of 'Ice Girl' please #SupportIceHockeypic.twitter.com/dl1OhEwqcP
aati nahi aati nahi saamne hai par magar... Aat nahi!,she does not come even if she is in front of me
Bhaijaan aapka driving licence bam gaya ya nahi?????,brother is your driving license made 
@someUSER would you be up for full day of movies at mine on thursday ?  :p so far tarzan and the notebook is on the list xd,@someUSER would you like to watch movies for full day on thursday? so far tarzan and the notebook is on the list xd
@ek_samosa_dena usko ddi bhi chhi lagegi =D,@ek_samosa_dena after eating it he would not like ddi much
Mitron aaj raat 12 baje se 100 ke note illegal ho jaenge..https://twitter.com/manakgupta/status/814345166748258304 …, from today night 12 onwards all 100 rupees notes would be illegalhttps://twitter.com/manakgupta/status/814345166748258304 …
RT @cricBC : Hindi commentary . Ball ruk ke aa raha hai . Ball phans raha hai . Ball ke liye intezaar karna hoga . Ball na ho gayi Indian train …,"retweet @cricBC : hindi commentary ball is coming after waiting for, ball is trapped somewhere . we need to wait for ball . is the indian train ball"
Jab se Dhinchak Pooja ke videos hit huwe hai :'(,from the time videos of Dhinchak Pooja have become popular :'(
"Pakistan is 'Laato ke bhoot', baato se nahi maante.",without physical violence pakistan does not listen any words
#tech apple ceo apologizes for error-ridden new map app - apple ceo tim cook apologized friday for the company&amp,#039
#ModiWeakestPMever ye troll dekh k aaj #ManMohanSingh bahut khush honge ... But #PakistanArmy ko itna khus hone ki jaroorat nehi 0 #Wait & Watch,#ModiWeakestPMever after seeing this troll yoday #ManMohanSinghwould be very happy But #PakistanArmy need not to be that much happy #Wait & Watch
@aniket51082 sab mile hue hain :),@aniket51082 all the poeple are involved :)
"faisal bhai aap bhi guddu ki animation series kyun nahi banate ,  like chotta bheem . ",faisal why do not you make series on guddu's animation like chotta bheem
modi ji namaskar . i am from upgzb . bhumi adigrahan bill ko clear kro .,namaskar modiji i am upgzb please pass bhumi adigrahan bill
@runjhunmehrotra ek jawaan ladka aur ladki dost ho sakte hai ya nahi ??,@runjhunmehrotra can young girl and voy be friends ??
De Villiers ... U hav so . many Indian fans ... Unke liye plz jaldi out ho jao #IndvsSA #CWC15,"de villers you have so many, for them you please get out #IndvsSA #CWC15"
Bahut hi fine sweep ! Shot laga nahi !,very fine sweep! but the vat did not touched ball!
@Alllahdin iska matbal kya hota hai?,@Alllahdin what is the meaning of this
"Akila Dananjaya To Bhuvneshwar Kumar : Hum Zara Bowler Kya Hue "" Aap To Batsman ho Gaye #IndvsSL #INDvSL #Dhoni #Bhuvi",akila dananjaya to bhuvneshwar kumar we just became baller then you became batsman  #IndvsSL #INDvSL #Dhoni #Bhuvi 
"Judaa hoke  bhi tu mujhe mein kahin baaki hai. 
Why bitch?","even after getting seperated from you still resides some where in me, why bitch"
@rahulroushan @GappistanRadio Aap log alag line main khade ho jao,@rahulroushan @GappistanRadio you stand in some another queue
@friendlii_ghost baap ko bhool gaye hai,@friendlii_ghost forgot the father
@DeepikaBhardwaj Bhopal bhi aapka swagat karta hai,@DeepikaBhardwaj Bhopal is also ready to welcoming you
Bhumrah ka gend nahi ghum raha #Iamsorry,bhumrah's ball is not spinning #Iamsorry
"Gaiyya Bharat me hi banna

Pak me khate hai gaay bhunna https://twitter.com/RamaNewDelhi/status/853165522199826433 …",gaiyya was made in india roasted cow is being eaten in Pakistan https://twitter.com/RamaNewDelhi/status/853165522199826433 …
RT @MichaelVaughan : My word .... 17 yrs old .... Sarfaraz Khan ... Incredible talent .... #RCBvRR #IPL2015,retweet @MichaelVaughan : my word 17 yrs old sarfaraz khan you have incredible talent #RCBvRR #IPL2015
haha jab pehli bar ghar se bombay jacket leke aaya tha tab bahot majak udaya gaya tha mera. Yaha abhi 8-9 hai.,when i first time brought jacket from house in mumbai they made a lot of fun of me. naw it is 8-9
@lahirip tum dono se pyaar hai mujhe @Being_Humor,@lahirip i love both of you @Being_Humor
ahttp/URL i love u mummy !  !  !  thank u garbage bin,a http/URL i love you mummy !  thank you garbage bin
"ye bola na ki achha nahi lagega, aise hi suna maine kuch!","i listened he said he does not like it, am i right"
#Israel duniya me ek najayez wajood hai 0 #india with #Palestinian,#Israel is an illegal existance in the world #india with #Palestinian
that means we'll know thursday morning if @someUSER won for her 'safe and sound' duet with @someUSER,that means we willll know on thursday morning if @someUSER won for her 'safe and sound' duet with @someUSER
bed ke pichhe se contra ka poster kahan gaya ?  ?,where is the poster of contra which was lying besides the bed
shaan : kyaa khubb roya hai bhai .  .  .  ek second k liye meri aankhein bhi num hui thee :p,you cried in a very fantastic way even for some seconds i was having tears
"@zoomphatak tch tch tch aise kaaliyon ka insult nahi karte, maana bade kameene hote hai magar phir bhi.","@zoomphatak the blacks girls should not be in insulted in this manner, we agree they are rascals but then also this should not be done"
"20 rs me 5 ka game ,  10 ka manja 3 ki pattie aur 2 ka banta aa jata tha .  poora din ban jaata tha jis din 20 rs mil jaate the :)","in 20 rupees we used to get game of 5 , in 10 rs we get manja in 3 rs we get pattie and for 2 rs we used to marbles in 20 rupees we get things for whole day"
@AapYogendra Aap Byomkesh Bakshi ke bichde hue bhai ho kya ??,@AapYogendra ar eyou brother of byomkesh bakshi who got seperated at some time ??
Ye tweet karne ke liye bhaijaan ne naya account banaya hai.  https://twitter.com/girly99_/status/854746568267845632 …,for tweeting this brother has made a new account  https://twitter.com/girly99_/status/854746568267845632 …
#SadarGabbarSingh Songs kaisa Hai ??,#SardarGabbarSingh how were the songs?
"@PriyancaBajaj Abki hona hai inka bantadhaar
#BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar",@PriyancaBajaj now this company will have shareholders #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar
pakistan : where is ajmal ? india : #WhereIsRahul,pakistan where is your team player ajmal and where is yor player Rahul
@BolshoyBooze handles bata bhai,@BolshoyBooze tell me about handles
"arre arre, chhod hota hai","leave the matter, something happens like this"
"@MeetUunngLee tere liye jaan haazir hai, attention kya cheez hai","@MeetUunngLee for i can give life, attention is a very smal thing"
khush raho aur hirey ki tarah chamkte raho...yeh theek hai :),"always stay happy, do hard work and outshine, this is a good habbit"
Kar k dekho accha lagta hai #blooddonation #bloodforlife — donating blood at Gautam Buddha University https://t.co/0TAjFLHGN2,try doing it you will feel good #blooddonation #bloodforlife — donate blood at Gautam Buddha University https://t.co/0TAjFLHGN2
.@sanjaykapur59 bhai piles ki baat nahi ho rahi hai.,@sanjaykapur59 we are not discussing anything about piles
@neha_jpn dost ki shaadi thi behen..,@neha_ipn sister there was my friend's marriege
@Insomniac_Abhi badhaai ho humara rishta ho gaya aaj,@Insommiac_Abhi congralutiions today my marriege has got fixed
ye kaisa problem diya hai kacchua sir ne last pic mein .  .  .   ?  its difficult than getting l power in contra,kacchua sir gave a very hard problem in the last pic. it is as difficult as getting l power in contra
@tweetingsourav beer pet me nahi dil me jaati hai,@tweetingsourav beer does not only goes into the stomach it even goes into your heart
"merey khayal se shaan ko guddu ka homework karna chahiyey ,  vo sara din guddu ke ghar pada rehta hey .  .  .  .  khiiiiii khiiiii khiiiii","i think that shaan should do guddu's homework,he always stays at giuddu's house"
"@rushingquark say takka sahi bhai, jail nahi jaana padega","@rushingquark said takka is a better option, we would not have to go to jail."
Guys Iss diwali fatake na jalaye... Gov ne pehle se hi hamare paise jala die hai #GST #Diwali2017 #Notebandi #HappyDiwali,"this diwali we will note use firecrackers, this year goverment has banned old notes and passed GST #Diwali2017#Notebandi#HappyDiwali"
in a plane on the way to bombay after a few years  !  i'm gonna be walking around aimlessly sometime in the next couple of days ,)
Chakke chhuda diye laundiya ne.  Mubarakahttps://twitter.com/yuvipajji9/status/705233604486385664 …,the girl wins  congrulations ttps://twitter.com/yuvipajji9/status/705233604486385664 …
@zoomphatak Sab jaahil hai,@zoomphatak all the people are in benighted
bhai copy karo par thoda modify karlo.. aisa India ka har bachcha school me seekh jata hai @HathwalaThakur @CatWomaniya,brother ypu may copy nut slightly modify it. this thing all indian children learn in school @HathwalaThakur @CatWomaniya
"main to pura dabba uthata tha staff room se ,  aur 2 chalk teacher ko deta tha ,  baaki apni jeb me .  .  .  :p",i used to pick whole of the chalkbox and gave only two chalks from the box to the teacher
"Jisne tumhe banaya. Taarif karu kya uski? 
#Biyatch","those who made you, you should praise them #Biyatch"
"My question to @republic Arnab Jo apni Maa "" Bahan n Beti ko #TripleTalaq se Mukt nahi kiye woh Vande Mataram Gayenge ?","my question to @republic Arnab Jo apni Maa "" Bahan n Beti ko #TripleTalaq se Mukt nahi kiye woh Vande Mataram Gayenge ?"
RT @imRo45_ : Meanwhile that Border force : PAK : Aur Janaab kya chal raha hai ? IND : Virat Kohli chal raha hai . PAK and the dog : * Silent…,retwweet @imRo45_ : meanwhile that border force : pakistan : how is your life going ? india : virat kohli is in foam pakistan and the dog : * Silent…
abe first comment to mera tha .  .  . guddu bhai tum hi har baar bata diya karo kiska first tha :(,first comment was mine guddu you should always tell us whose comment was first 
@MohitParmarr @jatinderdhir bhai 2 years ka gap hai,@MohitParmarr @jatinderdhir brother is a gap of 2 years
Thoda late jaage ManMohak Singh.,manmohak singh you became alert up late
"main tujhe shraap deta hu, tu hamesha single rahega.",i curse you that you will remain single forever
"tu, tu hai wahi.. dil ne jise..apna kaha..",you are the person whom i trust 
Ye raha sharmata huwa chinipic.twitter.com/SMjoWDYQGC,this is a shy chinese pic.twitter.com/SMjoWDYQGC
Language barriers . Any species of the above mentioned group who can speak hindi passably well will have a very diverse friend circle @ iitb .,language barriers . any person of the above mentioned group who can speak hindi passably well will have a very diverse friend circle at iitb .
@bhaveek9 theek se de na bhai,@bhaveek9 give this properly
"""Agar dil se uchhaalo to patthar se asman mein surakh ho sakta hai"".
*phir to Guptill ke ghar tak bhi pahunch sakta hai*",if you work hard with full concentration then you can do anything *then he can reach to guptills house*
@floydimus itna detail main kaise samjhaya usko,@floydimus how i would explain him in so much detail
hahahahhaha aisa bhi nai hota yaar .  .  . students k result se related baatein b krte hai,this cannot happen they can not talk related to students result
@someUSER @someUSER preview of the nfc championship game sunday ?  !  i'm feelin' an offensive shootout hahaha #vikes #cards #gameoftheweek,@someUSER @someUSER preview of the nfc championship game sunday ?  !  i am feeling an offensive shootout hahaha #vikes #cards #gameoftheweek
@Atheist_Krishna mujhe to ye bhi chalegipic.twitter.com/poo3gZvD0Z,@Atheist_Krishna even this would work for me pic.twitter.com/poo3gZvD0Z
"@indiantweeter magar janta kya chahti hai ye ek achhe PM ko pata hona chahiye, nahi?","@indiantweeter but what is expected from public, should be known by a good prime minister?"
Shikhar Dhawan.. World Cup ke liye kuch bacha le bhai..,shikhar dhawan save some runs to score for worldcup
rohit sharma to guddu k first time baithne se pehle hi out ho gaya tha .  .,rohit sharma you got out before guddu sat here
@anuragkaushik22 sachha pyar hai woh,@anuragkaushik22 is the real loves 
Bollwood ki aaan baan saan dekho aagaya #Salman_khan movie me karenge Dhamaal kyo ki ye hai #Bajrangi_Bhaijaan,bollywood's greatest star #Salman_khan is coming in movie to make it extra ordianary #Bajrangi_Bhaijaan
"Yo Yo Honey Singh: Upar upar upar upar upar upar in the air..

Ashok Dinda: ok",Yo Yo Honey Singh: high high high high high high  in the air.. tu apne manifesto ki chinta kar .  .  .
tu apne manifesto ki chinta kar .  .  .,you concentrate on your manifestio
Banks band karke kaun se desh ka vikaas hua hai.. Band hi rakhne the to khole kyu the..,which nation developed by closing there banks. if they wanted to close the bank then why they opened it
"@abhisar_sharma : CHIRKUT Patrakar Mahoday ... HYD par Hi dhyan Lagao .., wahan TRP nikalti hai .",@abhisar_sharma : patrakar mahoday concentrate on hyedrabad there you can get a lot of trp
"@MeetUunngLee sab fida hai tujh par, ruk search kar ke batata hu","@MeetUunngLee sab fida hai tujh par, ruk search kar ke batata hu"
@PoojaMissra Bihar ke achche din begins #GoodByeNitishKumar,@PoojaMissra good days of bihar have begin #GoodByeNitishKumar
Bhai Dil khush ho raha h .... Dekh Lena kahi Abba ko attack na aa jaye video dekh k #SurgicalStrikes #SurgicalStrikesHISTORYTV 18,brother i have become very happy see if father does not get  heartattack after seeing this#SurgicalStrikes #SurgicalStrikesHISTORYTV 18
@huh_watnow zyada doosre ladko ko hug mat baanto.. Maar kaat ho jaegi @toastingtoaster,"@huh_watnow do not hug much to other boys, then they would fight among themselves @toastingtoaster"
RT @Manu_Moyal : @FarhanKVirk ek kaam kr .. beta ... plastic ball se khel ..,"retweet @Manu_Moyal : @FarhanKVirk you do one thing, just play with plastic ball."
@Jugal425 #CrackerNACrackKAR bolne wale ki baat mat sun,@Jugal425 do not listen to those who speak #CrackerNACrackKAR 
Yeh #BharatBand #GST ke khilaf nahi balki #development ke khilaf hai @narendramodi @TajinderBagga @AmitShah @sureshpprabhu @anjanaomkashyap,this #BharatBand is not against #GST but #development ke khilaf hai @narendramodi @TajinderBagga @AmitShah @sureshpprabhu @anjanaomkashyap
@Clawalpha @the_master_gogo @nandu_maharaj @officialsukhbir acha ice hi mangwa le it will give ya relief on ur face #SummerInTheCity,@Clawalpha @the_master_gogo @nandu_maharaj @officialsukhbir get some good quality ice it will give better relief to your face #SummerInTheCity
@PagluPiggu aaj Gujrat ke naam ka hila raha hai kya ,) @GujaratBot
@fateeema__ to koi kahani daalni chahiye thi na tmhay ghr pe :p humne to bataya tha hamara plan :D,@fateeema__ to  you should have told some other story at home. wel told you our plan. 
ye ladkiyon wali DP lagakar logon ko thug kyu raha hai? Hadh hai. =D @nickhunterr,@nickhunterrwhy are you cheating others by keeping profile pic of girl
@Atheist_Krishna aa gaya muh kaala karwa ke,@Atheist_Krishna came after getting defeated
@Champ_Nikk nahi.. Usse bhi giri huee hai,@Champ_Nikk nahi. is more bad person than her
ye board pe konsi maths hai bhai  ?  :p,which maths is there on this board
"Absolutely, Kal se daant ghasna aur nahana bandh!",from tomorrow onwards we will definately stop brushing teeth and bathing
tv naseeb m nhi h .  .  .  .  mobile se chipke h,"by watching mobile phone a lot, i am not fortunate to see TV"
"Hum Tum ek kamre mein bandh ho aur chaabi kho jaaye.

Bhai, kamra andar se bandh hoga toh chaabi ki kya zaroorat? Kya lena dena?",i and get locked inside a room and it's locks key gets lost brother if the door is locked from inside then what is the requiremet of key?
Sir @pritishnandy AAP ka ticket kahan se le rahe hain?,Sir @pritishnandy you are buying ticket of aap from where?
@Nomadic_Soul_ HAAN MUJHE KOI AUR PASAND HAI @HathwalaThakur @clued_up_chic @Atheist_Krishna,@Nomadic_Soul_ yes i like someone else @HathwalaThakur @clued_up_chic @Atheist_Krishna
@MeetUunngLee @Dishasatra ye jalti hai hamare pyar se.,@MeetUunngLee @Dishasatra she is jealous of our love
@Connoisier ek to tum aajkal badi khabar rakhne lagi ho..  @ArvindKejriwal,@Connoisier nowaddays you are giving me big headlines @ArvindKejriwal
Nashte mein janaab pork ribs khaaye hai aisa maloom hota hai.https://twitter.com/bholapanchee/status/885711191212830721 …,in breakfast i ate pork ribs https://twitter.com/bholapanchee/status/885711191212830721 …
Aaj Mia Khalifa ka tape chalane wale hai.,today i will watch vedios of mia khalifa
@raonabeel I hv utmost respect 4 Imran Khan . But not for Shahid Afridi . & even Ali Zafar said that whole Pakistan is fed up of Afridi .,@raonabeel I have utmost respect for imran khan . But not for Shahid Afridi . and even ali zafar said that whole Pakistan is fed up of Afridi .
aur aapko lagta tha aapne duniya me sab kuch dekh liya :) https://twitter.com/PawanDurani/status/765529231237451776 …,an you thought that you have seen everything in the world :) https://twitter.com/PawanDurani/status/765529231237451776 …
"Well played Sindhu "" hamari chhori chhoro se kam hai ka 0 Indian badminton ka future kafi achha najar aa rahi hai #PVSindhu #Sindhu #Okuhara","well played sindhu""are girls are lagging much behind than boys in work"" indian badminton future is very bright"
@DOCTORATLARGE bhai sambhal ke upar bhi #trump hai neeche bhi !,@DOCTORATLARGE bhai be careful #trump is above and below
@Gurmeetramrahim #FansStillEnjoyingMSG2 mere papa sebse great hai me papaji ..... ye ........,@Gurmeetramrahim #FansStillEnjoyingMSG2 my father is the greatest
"Issue kuch bhi ho, galti kisi ki bhi ho, incompetence kisi ka bhi, twitter par bhakt media ko hi chappal maarte milenge","whatever be the issue, anyone's fault, incompetence of anyone, the devotees on twitter will always be slapping the media."
"jay paterno ,former penn state assistant football coach and son of joe paterno ,said sunday night that he was at an event when a ...","hail paterno ,former penn state assistant football coach and son of joe paterno ,said sunday night that he was at an event when a ..."
Also local sabziwala has fresh palak :p,also local vegetable vendor has fresh spinach
@abhijeetsinger han bhai mil jayegi haddi. Arbaaz aur Sohail ko bhi tag kar deta,"@ abhijitsinger yes brother, you will get bone. you should also have tagged arbaaz and sohail"
mortal combat game ke sticker lgi casstte me chote chote keede jaise rengne wale character hote the ...,mortal combat game had a sticker with insect like charecters ...
"guddu ,pamela k naag paash meh jakda gaya hai ...... beta ab tumse na ho payega ;)",guddu got trapped in pamela’s snake loop. you won’t be able to do it anymore
@its_ayeshaa @MaskedSRKFan @Sadiatistic mein toh twitter pe hi tweet raha hun,@its_ayeshaa @MaskedSRKFan @Sadiatistic I am tweeting on tweeter
@BloodyKamina bhai Babita ji pe dhyaan de le,"@BloodyKamina brother, you could have paid some attention to miss babita"
inke tweet dekhke man krta hai sala #jnu me he admission lena tha yar.,"seeing their tweets, it feels like I had to take admission in #jnu."
as usual ... wide ball k lie adha eint use kiya hi ...,as usual. . . used half a brick for a wide ball. . .
The great #Modi and #ArunJaitely ke #Demonetisation aur #GST ki wajah se hone wali desh ki tarakki... Isse Zaroor...,The great #Modi and #ArunJaitely's #Demonetisation and #GST has developed the nation... this will do the same..
Bhai jaan apse ek request tha.... ek baar apki koi dance functions me dance karne ka moka dete toh.... ye jindegi ki sabse bada dream pura ho jata,bhai this is a request to you… once give me a chance to dance in some of your dance functions then… the the biggest dream of life would come true.
"baasi medu wada, kadak bhi hojata hai.",old medu wada also becomes hard
"""Mubarak ho tu chacha ban gaya. Bhai khushi double ho gayi, bitiya hui hai""
 
 Most beautiful line I have heard this year.","“congratulations, you became an uncle. the happiness has doubled. i have a daughter now”
 
 most beautiful line I have heard this year."
"har saal ki bhaanti...fir se,star parivar..:-d","Like every year. . . Again, the star family. ."
#trump ke 7 muslim desho par ban se jo log halla kar rahe the wo ab #kuwaitbans par munh chhipaye ghum rahe hai 0 bahut nainsafi hai ... : p,"the people who were causing a havoc because of # Trump's ban on 7 muslim countries are now roaming around on #KuwaitBuns, this is very unfair"
Mazboot Rishte Aur Kadak Chaai Dheere Dheere Bante Hai #Gudmrng_family — feeling missing,strong relations and strong tea take a lot of time to be made #Gudmrng_family I am missing something
@sayshardik bhai take care of her,@sayshardik bhai take care of her
from work.. Aajkal ghar jaane k baad time nahi milta,from work .. nowadays we don't get time after going home
@huh_watnow daru peena chalu? Chand to dekh leti pehle,@huh_watnow have you started drinking liquor? You should have at least had a look at the moon
@TangledDokhtar Aise weather mein aur kuch soojh nahi raha,@TangledDokhtar I am not able to think anything in this weather
pratiogita darpan ki spelling galat hai - hindi me :p,Competition mirror is misspelled in hindi
"@Madan_Chikna chotta badshakal bada hokar bada badshakal ban jaata hai, air kuch nahi","@Madan_Chikna an ugly child turns to an ugly adult, nothing else"
Ab #RahulGandhi batayenge ki #GST kya hai. Phle gents toilet mei jao. #RahulBotAttack #rahulkigandisoch #gst #GabbarSinghTax,now #RahulGandhi will tell what #GST is. first start going to gents toilet. #RahulBotAttack #rahulkigandisoch #gst #GabbarSinghTax
Ambani ne weight loss liya hai ya Won paramvir chakra .... Every1 is having pic with him .... https://t.co/lGHS2yN8Ik,did ambani have a weight loss or did he win paramvir chakra .... everyone is having pic with him .... https://t.co/lGHS2yN8Ik
RT @AamirMeriJaan : @Jammy_PK @JahanurAamir @yganesh0208 @mana_apple wahan bahut logon ke naam hain Jo abuse karte ... not talking abt girls .,RT @AamirMeriJaan : @Jammy_PK @JahanurAamir @yganesh0208 @mana_apple there are many names here of people who abuse ... not talking about girls .
Ye kahan hota hai?,where does this happen
"""Ye jism jaanta hai toh sirf bhook..."" - Bipasha Basu
 ""Ye jism jaanta hai toh sirf book"" -
 Bibliophile","“all this body knows is mere hunger..."" - Bipasha Basu
 ""all this body knows is book"" -
 Bibliophile"
RT @kchowdhury9 : #boycottraees ayse chorna nehi ... Eid 2016 #raees,RT @kchowdhury9 : #boycottraees do not leave like this ... Eid 2016 #raees
ye unwanted log har mactch me jaroor tapkte h !!!!!!!!,All these unwanted people always come in all match !!!!!!!!
@dan1shmemon haan. Mere yahan bhi :/,@dan1shmemon yes. In my location as well
Sir @arvindkejriwal jitni fikar Gujarat ki karte ho uska 10% bhi dilli ki karo to aap ka ad pe kharcha nahi karna padega.,"Sir @arvindkejriwal even if you worry about Delhi only 10% of how much you worry about gujarat, then you will not have to spend your money."
"#GuessTheSong
 Tujh bin dil ka aalam kaisa hai, tujhse bhala ye kaise kahu?","#GuessTheSong
how do i express what i feel when you are not around?"
"@KyaUkhaadLega lol! lies ke do matlab hote hai yahan par, doosre wale matlab ko Virat Kohli shobha deta hai!","@KyaUkhaadLega laughing out loud! Lies have two meanings here, Virat Kohli suits the second meaning!"
Bas karo @hitennarendra Bas karo do peg bhaiya,@hitennarendra brother stop it after two shots
kaha gaya ho bhai itne dino se...world cup chal raha hai aur app shant ho,Where have you been brother for so many days. . . World Cup is going on and you are so quite
@iamsharmi7 madam issne kya kia :p @umar96akmal,@iamsharmi7 madam what did he do @umar96akmal
Zara pucho Salman se k kitna #Roza raha,Just ask Salman how many #Roza did he follow
@sambha_bhilane @GabbbarSingh Hum toh darshak hain. Kreedasthal main toh khilade utrenge.,@sambha_bhilane @GabbbarSingh we are the audience. the players will play in the playground.
"#IndVsPak India win the toss and bat first , common india dika do , india ko jita do , #CWC2015 , #WewantCWC2015 .","#IndVsPak India win the toss and bat first , common India show them, come out victorious , #CWC2015 , #WewantCWC2015 ."
@HaddHaiYaar kis ke pas itna time hota hai bhai!@sagarcasm,@HaddHaiYaar who has so much time!@sagarcasm
"Harr ghar se Shambhulaal niklega is the slogan of Virat Hindus "" So sir i think this is what Hinduism is ? Raping ones sister ? Killing innocent human ? TRUE sanathan dharma sir ?","shambhulaal will come out of every house is the slogan of Virat Hindus "" So sir i think this is what Hinduism is ? Raping ones sister ? Killing innocent human ? TRUE sanathan dharma sir ?"
@gautamverma23 aisa puchha to log bol rahe hai google kar le. lol :/,"@gautamverma23 if i asked such a question, people are saying Google it. laughing out loud"
madat karo khusi milega app ne bolatha but madat karene se dukhu badha jata he kay karu bhai.???????? plz reply bhai,"You said that I will get happiness if I help others but my sorrows increased by helping others, what do I do brother.?????? Please reply brother"
@eqrab @HajraAbbottaba @AnjumIqbalPTI Array yar hans kar dil na jalao abhi sara din office main bhi kaam karna hay,@eqrab @HajraAbbottaba @AnjumIqbalPTI i need to work in office full day so do not distract me with your smile
Yaar kya khata hai ye aadmi !https://twitter.com/rameshsrivats/status/633287907487318016 …,"man, look at this foolish man !https://twitter.com/rameshsrivats/status/633287907487318016 …"
Sir @rajdeepsardesai sahi hai na?,Sir @rajdeepsardesai is this right?
Kabhi Khushi. Mostly Gham.,sometimes happiness. mostly sorrow.
@RoflGandhi_Androoni khabar tey diye bhai,@RoflGandhi_Androoni you said a bad thing.
main pakda gya tha ek baar chalk lete hue staff room se ...,once i got caught stealing chalk from staff room ...
Dil ke pass dimag nahi hota .. orjo dimag se ho who pyar nahi hota ... Agree ??,The heart does not have a mind .. and if you love with your mind then it is not love ... do you agree??
cz wo up d ordr ata n out hota tb ye log khte k ab semis m chang krne k kya zrurt thi ctin ordr ko !!!,"even if they had gotten out, they would have made another asscuse"
@BeSharmaji isiliye maine bike khareedi,@BeSharmaji i bought bike for this reason
guddu rodies mein try kar yaar tu :d:d,guddu you try in roadies man
@ROFL_India 2 din k liye hi chali jaaye.. usi me maza aa jaega,@ROFL_India even if she goes away for 2 only days .. it will be fun
Kal audit hain #ScareMeIn3Words,i have an audit tommorrow #ScareMeIn3Words
CHILLANA HAI TO INDIA INDIA CHILLAOOOOO. PAK PAK TO MURGIYAN BHI KARTI HAIN!!!!!!!! #OLDISGOLD #INDVSPAK,"if you want to shout, shout the name of India, because even chickens cluck!!!!!!! #OLDISGOLD #INDVSPAK"
"@Cowtuk Viral hua hai, bukhaar sar par chadh gaya hai","@Cowtuk has gone viral, and it seems like he has became arrogant"
"Bhai Marlon Samuels, tujhe to IPL me khelna bhi nahi. Fir bhi ?","brother marlon samuels, you dont even want to play in ipl. then also?"
@Just_Screams Karunanidhi is atheist afaik,@Just_Screams karunanidhi is atheist as far as i know
"Aaj kal ladkiyo ko kuch reply bhi nahi kar sakte, sidha quote kar deti hai.","in todays time you can not even reply to girls, they would instantly quote you."
@OfficeOfRG Kya Sirjee Kya word use kiya Assault usse accha word use karate .,@OfficeOfRG respected sir you could have used a better word then assault.
"bas aise ich, loose ball kam hi milte hai. Abhi innovative shots khelne padte hai.","thats enough, we don't get many loose ball. now i will have to play innovative shots."
@shirkante Nahi bhai. @BakwasRadio,@shirkante no brother. @BakwasRadio
say truth 2 ur bf ......,say truth 2 your boyfriend ......
@TheLastPeg yaar hagega kaise?,"@TheLastPeg my friend, how will you take a dump?"
"@Ra_Bies LOL!inke liye jaan de do toh bolenge, isse achha mujhe moochein ugaane de dete","@Ra_Bies even if you die for them they would say, it would have been better if you allowed to keep a moushtash"
11 March ko results hai 13 ko #HOLI !,the result comes out on 11th march and #HOLI! is on 13th.
"miya suna h uttam nagar me aap ki daru pakdi gayi h ,mood kharab ho gaya be ,,,,","i have heard that your liquior was caught in uttam nagar, this news ruined my mood"
ye kya baaat hoti h ?,what do you mean by this?
MahaPrasaad On Occasion of MahaShivRatri by Anaaval Shukaleshwar Mahadev Trust . EveryBody WelCome ! Oldest SwayamBhu Ling of Bhagwaan Shankar !,mahaprasaad on occasion of mahashivratri by anaaval shukaleshwar mahadev trust . everybody welcome ! oldest self manifested shrine of god shankar !
.@aliaa08 wo padegi matlab wo giregi hota hai. Padegi to chot lag jayegi ud nahi payegi. Padhegi to udegi miss hoshiyar.,".@aliaa08 she falls means she will fall. if she will fall she will get hurt, she will not fly. if she will study she will fly, miss intelligent."
@ChouhanShivraj ji se bas baatein karwlo ... ek light toh theek se de nahi pa rahe h baatein krtey h kissano ko rahat deni ki #MakeInIndia,@ChouhanShivraj you just make tall talks ... you can not even provide us with a light and you are talking about farmer relief #MakeInIndia
@someUSER bin- kejariwalji ke free wifi ka wait kar rahe the kya itne dino se ......,)
@KyaUkhaadLega bhai tyre pe 'Aam Aadmi Party' likh de.. 1-2 hafte me apne aap usme hawa bhar jaegi @AndColorPockeT,@KyaUkhaadLega print 'aam aadmi party' on your tyre.. it will get inflated in 1-2 weeks @AndColorPockeT
"Sukh bhare din beete re bhaiya, Babadook aayo re","the good old days are gone, now it is time for great sorrow"
kato to khoon nahi .when cut no blood .convent me dala tha papa ne bhai .,when cut no blood. when cut no blood. my father was using a converter.
i am a dudda and i'll leave at 21,i am a dude and i'll leave at 21
RT @bscamishra : .. Jaise Delhi waalon ne liya tha .. Ab kyon kahte ho #KejriwalSaySorry .. https://t.co/LTwRdL77zf,RT @bscamishra : .. like the people of delhi took it .. why are you saying now #KejriwalSaySorry .. https://t.co/LTwRdL77zf
""" bt ab proud sina tokh k #SurgicalStrike #TradebanPak a nara uthrahai . KASHMIRYUVA JOIN #BharatiyaSeNa",be proud #SurgicalStrike #TradebanPak spread this word. kashmiryuva join #BharatiyaSeNa
"ami tomake khub valobasi, i love u bhai jan","i love you a lot, i love u my dear brother"
"Abhi to Laxmi kamal ke phool par baith kar jaa rahi ""hai' aa nahi rahi. #GST #JoblessGrowth #DeMonetisation","right now money is leaving riding on the lotus, it is not coming, it is leaving #GST #JoblessGrowth #DeMonetisation"
"@oxymoronic_me Sona nahi na sahi, fikar kya hai main hu na tere liye","@oxymoronic_me no matter if the gold is real or not, don't worry you still got me"
"Please, aur kuch kaam dhandha nahi hai, ladki ko smile karao","please, we have better things to do then making girls smile."
"Satiya gaye hai Uncle yaar, umar hogayi hai.","my uncle has gone senile, he has gotten very old."
"RT @UmeSalmaa : Team India to BJP "" Itna bura toh hum bhi nahi haare "" Err:508 #AAPSweep #DelhiDecides","RT @UmeSalmaa : team india to bjp "" even we did not loss this bad "" #AAPSweep #DelhiDecides"
kya hua kisi ne mara to ni?,what happened did anyone hit you?
koi aur kaam dhandha nhi hai?kal monday hai :p,don't you have any other job? tommorow is monday
Bhabhi ji ki jay ho @KejriwalSunita,hail to sister-in-law @KejriwalSunita
ab ki bar phir aap ki sarkar . ... vote for aap,"this time, we will again have aap government . ... vote for aap"
Bas insaniyat naam ki cheese ab jag gayi hai.,the feeling of humanity has now woken up.
#Trump dhamki de raha tha k USA dekta he kon kon hamare haq me nahi vote dega ....,#Trump is threatening that usa is watching all who are not voting in our favour ....
@twinitisha Aap bhi political joke,@twinitisha you also are a political joke
bhai grihshobha me aata hai woh lol @RoflGandhi_,"brother he appears in grihshobha, laughing out loud @RoflGandhi_"
"ye haar hai, jeet nahi.","this is loss, not victory"
"Gorakhpur me Jo hua Uske baad swastya mantri nahin, khud yogi adityanath ko istifa Dr dena Chahiye.","after the incident of gorakhpur, not the health minister but yogi adityanath should sign in his resignation letter"
"Nasha Owaisi hoti toh, bhonkti botal.","if addiction was addictive, the bottles would have danced"
tinde nahi bane aaj ??,didn't tinde get cooked today?
Khana kha kar chaddi par haath pochne wale kya jaane tissue ka matlab. #AakThoo,"the people who wipe their hands on their shorts after eating, don't know the importance of tissue. #AakThoo"
perth listeners: nick is giving the talk 'food &amp, social justice' @someUSER @ 3 . 30 tomorrow (friday) #green #animalrights http/URL
"Everyone on TL is thanking their Mom's.. Bhai aiyaashi karne ke paise to Papa hi dete hai na..
 
 #ThankYouPapa","everyone on tl is thanking their mom's.. but father is the one who gives money to spend on leasures..
 
 #ThankYouPapa"
Please help Mr 0 Modi ( P 0 M ) aap ko ese ke meter me application bheja gaya tha ( speed post EJ 330955044 IN ) uspe koe karwae ni hua,"i have complained but i am not getting help, please help me Mr Modi."
Akal badaam khane se hi aati hai. Thokar toh kutton ko bhi lagti hai.,brain gets sharper only by eating. because even dogs have bad experiences.
@bizzarebhide kab ka padha hua hai @scratchysingh,@bizzarebhide i have read this long ago @scratchysingh
"#Notebandi Maa ne jitne paise papa ki jeb katke bachaye "" use bank me jama karana pada 0 Ab interest bhi mil raha hai .. I support note ban","#Notebandi whatever money mom stole from dad had to be deposited in banks, now we are also getting interest on it  .. I support note ban"
"Ye aakashwani ka mumbai prasaran kendra hai, aur aap sun rahe hai somnath bharti.","this is the mumbai transmmiting station of aakashwani, and you are listening to somnath bharti"
theek hai behen.. Kal se #girlcott karenge,okay sister.. we will #girlcott from tommorow
@Flw_ur_dreams aap doodh ho @AnantGJ,@Flw_ur_dreams you are milk @AnantGJ
Mulle ne ek mulle ko bacha liya...,mullah is saved by another mullah...
@bhak_sala karna zaroori hai,@bhak_sala this is compulsary to do
Patriotism mein to jeet gaye hum log....ab ye pollution se kaise jeetenge??,we won in patriotism ....but how will we win from pollution??
bachpan ki ye aadatein college time mein bhi nhi gyi :d :d,the habits of childhood still exist in college life
@kitAnurag aaj drink from home liya hai,@kitAnurag today i have taken a drink from home
Yeh thoda zyada ho gayapic.twitter.com/40uzRGxP1R,this has gone overboard pic.twitter.com/40uzRGxP1R
"@ummeaiman07 "" aapko "" word feels ajeeb "" aapki "" taraf say :p","@ummeaiman07 the word "" aapko "" feels wired coming from you"
YUVRAJ AND KOHLI. BAAP OF PAKISTAN!!! #IndvsPak,yujraj and kohli are father of pakistan!!! #IndvsPak
.@JhaSanjay life to theek hai.. par Rahul ji wife kab aur kaha se laa rahe hai ?,.@JhaSanjay life is good.. but Rahul sir where and when are you getting married?
@sagarcasm ye pehle ho chuka hai ,)
mario n contra khel khel k bade hue.....seriously purane din yaad dila deta h .luv u garbage bin n tivu too guddu,we have grown up playing mario and contra.....seriously you made me remember good old days. love you garbage bin and tivu too guddu
"tere jaate hi out ho gya ... """,he got out as soon as you left ... 
@Amit_smiling Sly ki koi date nahi hoti @galat_fehmi,@Amit_smiling there is not a perticular date for sly @galat_fehmi
un sabko maine or meri cid team ne hi ander dala ha :),me and my cid team have arrested them all
"@twinitisha @_SandSurfer selfie me 10-15 log hai to 16:9 select karo, ek do log hai to 4:3 kar. ab isse jyada nahi samja sakta.","@twinitisha @_SandSurfer if there are 10-15 people in the selfie crop it to a ratio of 16:9, if there are one or two select ratio of 4:3. I can not explain it any better."
Aisa PM naa hua hai aur naa hee hoga kabhi. .,there has not been or will be a pm like this
"bahot kuch, magar sab bata diya toh taqleef hojayegi","a lot happened, but there will be problems if i told everything"
tu kyu gussa horaha hai bhai? Sarcasm samajh,"why are you getting so angry, try to undrstand the sarcasm"
@dranitasam maza to aapne bhi diya bhabhi ji thank you : *,@dranitasam you were also very entertaining sister-in-law thank you : *
Sari acchi ladkiya tv ke andar hi hoti hai.,all the good girls are on television
@huh_watnow pyaar de de,@huh_watnow give me some love
@White_Crimes chalaaki se bharpoor aurat you be,@White_Crimes you are a cunning women
"bas kar bhai, rulayega kya? @ShaliniGoel11","stop it man, are you planning to make me cry? @ShaliniGoel11"
"@saakshi93 thank you Sakshi, aashirwad aur RT barkarar rakhiye","@saakshi93 thank you Sakshi, please give me a lot of blessing"
@ArvindKejriwal AAP slogan should be tum mujhe vote do main tumhe SMOG dunga #DelhiChokes #SmogCapital,@ArvindKejriwal AAP slogan should be you give me vote i will give you SMOG #DelhiChokes #SmogCapital
@Atheist_Krishna 1 saal ka bachcha bhi jail me.. Ye Modi ji ke raaj me kya ho riya hai,@Atheist_Krishna a 1 year old kid is in jail.. what is happening under modi sir's government
tumhari 2-3 aur pics DM karo. Mujhe bhi doubts hai.,please send me a few of your pictures in direct messages. i also have some doubts
Abhi kaha subah he time mileyga sheela @Shehla_Rashid ko ab abhi #JNU boys hostel mai #CondomAds k liye busy hogi,I will get time in morning @Shehla_Rashid will be busy in #JNU boys hostel with #CondomAds
"Aunty police bula legi, aur uncle daaru peene khud aajyenge.
 #PartyYunHiChalegi","aunty will call police, and uncle will come to have a drink with us.
 #PartyYunHiChalegi"
"Lo bhai "" naya shosha #Trump ka "" 5 saal ki #SocialMedia history may koi #Pakistani ko ab visa tho nahi millay gha","new drama of #Trump, no pakistan citizen to get visa"
@Mocksterr yahi problem hai,@Mocksterr this is the problem
Din raat Vidio #Chatting karke bij Bo diya,by continues video #Chatting he was able to achive his purpose
"Bade hai ehsaan hum pe, dil ne kiya jo basar
 #GuessTheSong
 
 (Without hashtag not valid)","there are many favours on me, dil ne kiya jo basar
 #GuessTheSong
 
 (Without hashtag not valid)"
@WaggishDT aaj khana Shirish banaenge @TheFarahKhan @ShirishKunder,@WaggishDT today shirish will prepare the food @TheFarahKhan @ShirishKunder
Bhaijan i'm big fan of ur.bhaija m aapko follow krta hu or aapk jaise acha work krne ki kosis krta hu.,brother i am a big fan of yours. i follow you and try to do good deed as you
@someUSER hey sue .so excited to see you at wppi u tomorrow .we're coming don canada and would love to buy you a drink .@someUSER,@someUSER hey sue .so excited to see you at wppi you tomorrow .we're coming to canada and would love to buy you a drink .@someUSER
"Sukr hai ki nahi laga #ishq par #GST ""koi Varna to tu bhi meri #had se bahar ho jati.",thank god that there is no #GST on love #ishq or else you would have been out of my reach #had
"@Alllahdin metro ki ye jo story bata raha hai na, woh ladki hi thi. Bola mujhe phone par isne. Yaha alag story chhaap raha hai @MeetUunngLee","@Alllahdin the story he is telling about the metro, there was a girl in there. he told me over a call. he has changed the story here @MeetUunngLee"
"mauka dekh k chauka mar diya "" well done #PVSindhu",she saw a chance and took it well done #PVSindhu
"RT @HajirJawab : Delhi to Dholakpur ( Chhota Bheem ) new train announce na karne ki wajeh se , Congress ne #RailBudget2015 ko disappointed decl","RT @HajirJawab : because there is no new train annouced from delhi to dholakpur ( Chhota Bheem ) , Congress has declared #RailBudget2015 disappointed."
i love u jaan mmmmuuuuuuaaaaaaahhhhh shona mera ....,i love you very much honey
Nhi aayege woh busy promotion krne mein .sunday ko kapil ke show mein jao. Face to face,they won't visit as they are busy in doing promotion. go to kapil's show on sunday and meet them personally
@BolshoyBooze abey vodafone pe nahi chal rah sahi me :( @HaramiParindey,@BolshoyBooze it is really not working on vodafone @HaramiParindey
"@someUSER capello had poor english in his first press conference and used a translator , by 1st game he spoke fine .cost isnt' an issue #trapout","@someUSER capello had poor english in his first press conference and used a translator , by 1st game he spoke fine. cost isn't an issue #trapout"
@melotus abhi uske liye permission nahi chahiye mujhe. Sigh.,@melotus abhi i don't need a permission for than right now. Sigh.
neha tyagi me b aise he krta tha .. but maam manti nai thi,neha tyagi i used to do the same .. but maam wouldn't agree to it
shout out to my boy @someUSER who fights tomorrow night on the las vegas #rfa card .he's put in the work so i don't need to wish him luck .,shout out to my boy @someUSER who fights tomorrow night on the las vegas #rfa card. he's put in the work so i don't need to wish him luck .
Ek galti toh sabko maaf hai sarkaarpic.twitter.com/IFXsHrKdiY,my lord everyone's one mistake can be forgiven pic.twitter.com/IFXsHrKdiY
@gautamverma23 @VodafoneIN Bhai ye pehle ho chuka hai.,@gautamverma23 @VodafoneIN Bother this has happened before
@Sanjoyjpr ha ha ha...areey baap sir ye kya keh diya aapne...honoured :),@Sanjoyjpr oh my god what did you do sir...honoured :)
@retardedwriter ajjab aadmi hai,@retardedwriter he is a wired man
Mr. KHAN maine aap ki sari baatein suni aur use follow bhi kiya. Trust me.,mr. khan i listened to your every word and even followed. Trust me.
"@divyaszaika sigh, ye bhi angle ho sakta hai","@divyaszaika sigh, this situation is also possible"
utho toh ukhaadna zaroori nahi hai. Uff.,if you get up you don't need pull the rest of the things out.
Sab log apni jaan bacha lo bhai!https://twitter.com/CatWomaniya/status/873693929656340480 …,everyone save yourselves! https://twitter.com/CatWomaniya/status/873693929656340480 …
.@aloknath nahi sir. main jaanta hun aur ye bhi ki aap bhi jaante ho ki ye fake products hain. varna sandhi sudha kyon gayab ho gaya?,.@aloknath no sir. both of us know that these are fake products. otherwise why did sandhi sudha vanish?
@Alllahdin haan Lapoori kahin ki,"@Alllahdin yes, you useless person"
english me baat karo otherwise fine lagega ..,talk in english or you will be fined
Abe Kingfisher ki botal me daal ke chalaiyo..zyada upar jaega https://twitter.com/defencepk/status/786628886708809728 …,launch it using a kingfisher botal .. it will go higher https://twitter.com/defencepk/status/786628886708809728 …
@HaramiParindey Mujhe to 1 bhi rt nahi milti,@HaramiParindey i don't even get a single retweet
"Deri achhi nahi ishq me khel mein, baith jaatu meri pyar ki rail mein. Main shuru hogaya tu bhi ho ka shuru.
 Plz RT","delay isn't good in the game of love, have a seat in the love train. i am already ready, you also get ready.
 Plz RT"
RT @PerennialCold : @aashish81us @BhagwanUvach It happened within 500 meters of Akhiles pappu residence . UP-Bihar has become jungle raaj,RT @PerennialCold : @aashish81us @BhagwanUvach It happened within 500 meters of Akhiles pappu residence . UP-Bihar has become jungle rule
@Atheist_Krishna Isse achchi hai kya ?pic.twitter.com/N7Ki0uHOyk,@Atheist_Krishna is it better then her? pic.twitter.com/N7Ki0uHOyk
"Aaj jashn manaaate hai azaadi ka, vimal ke 25 saal ka jashn!","lets celebrate the joy of freedom, the joy of 25 years of vimal!"
#TripleTalaq Congress ab kya karegi ... Esko support karegi ya virodh ??,#TripleTalaq what will congress do now ... will it support or oppose it??
@kushal_mehra kaun bandh kar dete the?,@kushal_mehra who used to shut it?
as i'm watching candyman i realize that its it not scary at all !kinda funny or it may b the liquor either way i'm laffin,as i'm watching candyman i realize that its it not scary at all !kinda funny or it may b the liquor either way i'm laughing
"@someUSER presents: dethklok with machine head ,all that remains ,and black dahlia murder !tuesday ,november 13th at the venue at the hub !","@someUSER presents: dethklok with machine head ,all that remains ,and black dahlia murder tuesday ,november 13th at the venue at the hub !"
Pappu search karo toh @Google aur @YouTube bhi rahul gandhi ki news aur videos dete hain 0,if you search Pappu on @Google or @YouTube it shows results for rahul gandhi
"#RightToPrivacy se kuch nahi hona "" pados wali Aunty fir bhi roj binoculars leke apka intezaar karegi 0",there is nothing like #RightToPrivacy evens aunties are on watch of your doings
being there.done that .,"been there, done that."
@GaurangBhardwa1 whatsapp dekh.. Tere liye gift bheja hai,@GaurangBhardwa1 check your whatsapp.. i have sent a gift for you
Gr8....I love salman.....challenge bhi good or challenge dene vala bhi good........,"this is great, i love Salman, the challenge and chalenger both are good"
@duarazashaikh AP SAB SWEEET FRNDS SEY BATEY KER RAHI HO TOH MOOD BHI ACCHA HO JATA HEY SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETO .,"@duarazashaikh when you talk to sweet friends, you will have great mood."
"Bas ek ladki dhundni hai bhai, phir jald hi",as soon as i find a proper girl
"Bas hogaya bhai, ek Sooryavansham hai aur doosra tera yeh pic.","this is the limit, this comment of yours is as bad as suryavansham"
@imshi_saini bahut khoob imshi,@imshi_saini well done imshi
hahahahah .....tabaahi hai yeh to,hahahahah ...... this is destruction
Ab ham ko dhoni the magicition captancy dekhne ko nahi milegi #Dhoni @msdhoni,now we won't be able to see dhoni's captaincy #Dhoni @msdhoni
@Bipolar_BaBa haha man ! Reply main bhi troll ,)
"@anilchawhan hahaha, woh bhi sach hai","@anilchawhan hahaha, that is also the truth"
"best gag ever ,bilkul bachpan ki yaad aa gai .i really miss my mother today","best gag ever, you made me miss my mother and good old times."
"a great read with your saturday morning coffee .i'm voting for a pres working on social justice ,tolerance ,&amp; equality .http/URL","a great read with your saturday morning coffee .i'm voting for a pres working on social justice ,tolerance; equality .http/URL"
"@chatpatidiary koi dikh nahi raha, tum ho kya?","@chatpatidiary i can't see anyone, are you there?"
"Sach saamne aa jaate hai
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwovF2NSDkg … …
 
 #NitishLaluSting","truth always comes out
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwovF2NSDkg … …
 
 #NitishLaluSting"
"Namastey sir, Jis tarah ap desh ki halat sudhar rhe h. Usi tarah please hum jese peoples pr bi dhyan dijiye.","just like you are developing the nature, please pay attention on the youngsters"
maa ka pyar aisa ho hota hai love you mom (y),this is a mother's love. love you mom
Yo bhai aap sahi kar rahe ho ! Lage raho ! #Trump bikar hai duniya ke liye 0 #IndiansUnite,yes brother you are doing right
Ek channel par #GST par debate dekh rahan hoon samaj mein nahi as Rahe hai desh par #GST laga hai ya #EMERGENCY.,i can not understand if it is #GST or #emergency
did anyone read the nyt interview with egyptian president mohamed morsi on saturday ?good read: http/URL,did anyone read the night interview with egyptian president mohamed morsi on saturday ?good read: http/URL
RT @KesariyaBalam_ : VOTE FOR BJPJAI AII ASOMJAI HINDBHARAT MATA KI JAI #CongAIUDFNexus @BJPAssam2016 @assam_accord @puza_kashyap @i_k_b …,@KesariyaBalam_ : vote for bjp #CongAIUDFNexus @BJPAssam2016 @assam_accord @puza_kashyap @i_k_b
"@ttrinadasgupta @TheVacuumHead haan, ye theek rahega!","@ttrinadasgupta @TheVacuumHead yes, this would work!"
@Atheist_Krishna Dekhi to tune Poonam Pandey ki ch**t bhi nahi.. Par hai na ,)
@someUSER november 4th at constitution hall &amp, idk i guess she's out lolol http/URL
"Swachh Bharat ke naam pe de do baba...
 http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics-and-nation/government-to-train-3000-beggars-to-sing-paeans-to-swachh-bharat-beti-bachao-other-campaigns-on-local-trains/articleshow/48336570.cms?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter …","please donate in the name of swachh bharat
 http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics-and-nation/government-to-train-3000-beggars-to-sing-paeans-to-swachh-bharat-beti-bachao-other-campaigns-on-local-trains/articleshow/48336570.cms?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter …"
@arshikyy Abhi bhi time hain parth baba shouldn't use slang n talk bad .. Nor drink n smoke .. Gadha kahinka 😒 par dil ka accha hain😖,@arshikyy there is still time parth baba shouldn't use slang n talk bad .. Nor drink and smoke 
meri aankho me khushi ke aansu aa gaye the :'),my eyes are filled with tears of joy
"""Abey yaar kiske sath khada kar diya""pic.twitter.com/mBbZUNrKnh",why did you make me stand here pic.twitter.com/mBbZUNrKnh
bhai ..craft ke exam ke din to papa ka scooter aur mummy ki craft ..bas ban gya craft a,father's scooter and mom's craft was enough
"Sahi time par captaincy chor di "" ab aaram se enjoy kar paega batting 0 #Dhoni",left captaincy in nick of time #Dhoni
"Mat karo aisi baatein, kunwaare rahoge zindagi bhar","don't talk like this, you won't find love in lifetime."
drama king guddu :d :p,drama king guddu
@bad_mulga Humare UP mai bhi. :D,@bad_mulga also in our uttar pradesh
sharma ji ka bahu charchit launda...rofl!!!,mister sharma's famous son
Outrage ka kya karna hai. 2 waqt ki RT se guzara ho jata hai.,why do people have outrage. the day goes by with two tweets daily
@BhuvanRajora chup chaap raha kar gandu @Payal091 @Ra_Bies,@BhuvanRajora stay silent @Payal091 @Ra_Bies
har aadhe ghante mein DP badalna zaroori nahi hai. Waise bhi marketing skills achhi hai tumhari.,you don't need to change your display pic very hour. your marketing skills are good regardless.
kachhua sir toh students ke pakke wale dushman hain .......:@,kachhua sir is an enemy of the students .....
Aur issi tarah raita phail gaya.https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/315287025022558208 …,and like this the trouble started.https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/315287025022558208 …
@gautamverma23 Gautam bhai tu Delhi me hai to jaana zaroor @NaughtyDew_,"@gautamverma23 gautam, you surely go to delhi @NaughtyDew_"
"Inko bacon phenk kar maaro, saara radicalism uttar jayega.","throw some bacon at them, they will forget about radicalism."
sir excellent ... amitji ke meeting ke baad se kl se mahool kaafi positive hua hai ...,sir excellent ... the environment is very positive after amit sir's meeting yesterday ...
Kya yaad dilaaya hai Sir!! https://twitter.com/YearOfRat/status/876082173282885632 …,"Sir, you got it for us in an awesome way!! https://twitter.com/YearOfRat/status/876082173282885632 …"
@Shahrcasm haha.. Ye tumhare karmo ki saza hai,@Shahrcasm haha.. this is the result of you own doings
Is baar ni hua katti bt nxt time jarur ho jauga...love u bhaijaan.......mmmmuuuuuuaaaaahhhhhhhh,"i didn't get mad this time but, i will get next this happens...love u brother"
For those jo abhi tk preshan hain k Qandeel Bloach wali kya story hai ... To ye lain https://t.co/BZDiI2yCwy,For those who are still worried about the details of the qandeel bloach story ... To ye lain https://t.co/BZDiI2yCwy
finna hit the grammys tomorrow then ima finna go thug it with @someUSER live in my stomping grounds in the ie !#grittygrindn,finnaly hit the grammys tomorrow then i am finnaly going through with it with @someUSER live in my stomping grounds in the ie !#grittygrindn
@OpIndia_com ye IIT me Sanskrit wali bat sach hai ya anthr hit job ??,@OpIndia_com is the myth about sanskrit iit true or not??
@byomkesbakshi hehe.. Ladko se galti ho jaati hai,@byomkesbakshi hehe.. boy makes mistakes
tum dono ko hi sabse jyada thand lgti hai...shweta gaur meenakshi saxena,both of you are most sensitive to the cold...shweta gaur meenakshi saxena
One more from ICC .... Is baar to Mauke be chauka #icc #IndvsSA http://t.co/shcTigo9HW,One more from ICC .... this time they took the chance #icc #IndvsSA http://t.co/shcTigo9HW
Hloo salu bhai......,hello salman bhai......
"Chacha #GST revolution hai indian economy ke liye "" padh likh lete to kuch samajh mei aata @digvijaya_28","uncle #GST revolution is for the indian economy "" you would have understood it if you had studied @digvijaya_28"
"@_Agathist Maa sahi bolti thi, Bournvita peeyunga to aisa nahi hogapic.twitter.com/7tWYcv9emZ","@_Agathist mother was right, if you drink bournvita this won't happen pic.twitter.com/7tWYcv9emZ"
Aisay ha bhaiya bajrangi......,it is like this mister bajrangi......
"Bas ek maa hi samajh sakti hai bete ki kala
 
 https://twitter.com/IndianMomthings/status/846432900140564480 …","only a mother can understand the actions of her son
 
 https://twitter.com/IndianMomthings/status/846432900140564480 …"
"3g ,coalgate se bhi bada scam !!",3g is a bigger scam then coalgate
"RT if hai ishq samundar dil de andar, ishq samundar dil de.","ocean of love in my heart, give it to me."
"Mahesh: Beta aaj college nahi gayee
 Alia: Papa, aaj college ki chutti hai.. Ye dekho.. #IamFromIINpic.twitter.com/j6Yxocbki6","Mahesh: you didn't go to college today
 Alia: dad, today is a holiday.. see this. #IamFromIINpic.twitter.com/j6Yxocbki6"
@dhaval241086 Jai Jai Bajrang bali.. Bharde meri Jholi,@dhaval241086 hail bajrang bali.. please bless me
ha ha ha .. guddu ka slip of tounge ho gya ... lolz,ha ha ha .. guddu had a slip of tounge 
Allah Tala ka shukr hai. Bhagwan Shiv ka som hai. Hanuman ji ka mangal hai.,allah tala has friday. god shiv has monday. hanuman has tuesday].
i am away my home and country ....purani yaadein taza kar di ...mere maa 20 tho nahi but 2rs diya karti thi mujhe papa se chup ke .,"i am away my home and country ....this brought back old memories ...my mother didn't give me 20 but, she used to give me 2 rupees hiding from father ."
"Paap itna badh gaya hai, baaris bhi nahi ho rahi.",the sins have increased so much that it isn't even raining.
@indiantweeter mere paison ki baat ki?,@indiantweeter did i talk about money?
"Hagne bhi do yaaron
 #SukhSehttps://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/846780695448031232 …","let me take a shit
 #SukhSehttps://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/846780695448031232 …"
#Verdict 2017 dekh ke #trump bhi sadme me ..,"#Verdict 2017 look at this, even #trump is shocked .."
wide ball ki eint .,brick of wide ball .
tic toc ..tic toc...yaar ye time kyu nahi ja raha..,tic tok ..tic tok...why isn't the time passing..
"Shaadi koi bachhon ka khel nahi, shaadi bachhe paida karne ka khel hai.","marriage is not a child's play, it is a game that creates children"
tum chal rahi ho ?,are you coming?
aisa school ho to me kabhi ghar hi na jau ...,"if this happens in my school, even i won't go home"
burger &amp, blonde friday today @someUSER crows nest $2 . 00 pure blonde with any burger purchase !
"Bhagao usko bhi yaar, bahot huwa bhaichara.","this is enough, someone send him away"
@facepalm92 lolvillakuwait hamne but ka socha hota to ye tweet nahi ho pata. Inshallah ISIS tak naa pahuche bus.,"@facepalm92 if we didn't think like that, this tweet would not be possible. good god, i wish this doesn't get to ISIS."
"@ravishndtv ravish BHAI ye Nitin pai ko kis jangal se pakad Ke laye ho , uppar Ka hissa bilkul gayab hi ,","@ravishndtv ravish bhai, where did you get this nitin from, he is an idiot"
"#284 : do you have the mobile number of any girl,i am looking to make friends only.i will not share my name.","#284 : do you have the mobile number of any girl, i am just looking for a friend. i will not share my name."
"Bihar jagega to humare UP walon ko bhi hosh aayega.
 #LaluMuktBihar","if bihar wakes up, then even UP will get concious.
 #LaluMuktBihar"
Sab so gaye kya?,Is everyone asleep?
"RT @Mrityunjoykjha : My fav Shiv Bhajan "" Hari Om Tatsat "" by Ustad Bade Ghulam Ali Khan Saheb #MahaShivratri https://t.co/jxon0VW90l","RT @Mrityunjoykjha : My favourite Shiv Bhajan "" Hari Om Tatsat "" by Ustad Bade Ghulam Ali Khan Saheb #MahaShivratri https://t.co/jxon0VW90l"
"RT @RoflKumar : When Shoaib Akhtar says "" mere 20years ke career main isase ( virat ) se bada player nahi dekha "" 👏👏 #IndvsPak","RT @RoflKumar : When Shoaib Akhtar says "" in my 20years career i haven't come across a better player then him "" 👏👏 #IndvsPak"
ye to hona hi tha i m very very happyyy ..,"this was inevitable, i am very very happy..."
tum dilli ki ladkiyon ko make up ke siwa kuch nahi dikhta kya? #Ashamed :'(,can't you delhi girls see anything other than makeup? #Ashamed :'(
@Alllahdin @MeetUunngLee haa ganduwo padh raha hu main,@Alllahdin @MeetUunngLee yes moron i am reading that
"Nahi mil sakte hai, ye akele nahi milne aa sakti hai, ghar ka chicken nahi kha payenge. Kisi Launde ko saath laane ki bat bhi aagayi </3","we can't meet, she can't come alone to meet me, the homemade chicken is not edible. she will also try to bring some guy in order to meet me."
"@ArvindKejriwal sir.. Aajkal sab aapke baare me bolte hai ""Chanda hai par dhandha hai ye..""
 
 Is it true ?","@ArvindKejriwal sir.. these days everyone is saying about you that ""it is begging, but it is bussiness..""
 
 Is it true ?"
@pierrefitter bhai main teri bajate bajate thak chhuka hoon @SachinKalbag @beluga73,@pierrefitter bhai i am tired making fun of you @SachinKalbag @beluga73
@herecomessammy @BudweiserIndia haha karao ticket book.. Abhi 24 ghante baad hi shuru hai event,@herecomessammy @BudweiserIndia book the tickets.. its 24 hours till the event starts
"Uncle ghar, hai paisa hai gaadi, aap do jodon mein ladki bhejo ladki hui hamaari. OK Bye","uncle i have a house, money and even a car, you just send your daughter with a couple of sets of clothes. ok, bye"
"@FreeCharge - Aam ke aam, Gutliyo ke daam#MyCaptionForFreeChargepic.twitter.com/UZz0mprW2t",@FreeCharge - you also pay for the useless stuff #MyCaptionForFreeChargepic.twitter.com/UZz0mprW2t
"Thodi bahot izzat jo yahan thi woh bhi lutt gayi, ye jeena bhi koi jeena hai bangdu?","whatever little respect i had here is now gone, is this really a life to live, buddy?"
@Samanthaprabhu2 my challakutty eye's https://t.co/zATItEU5gN,@Samanthaprabhu2 my pet eye's https://t.co/zATItEU5gN
@arunjaitley Ji Wakeup . Otherwise rest of malya bhi run ho jayenge pata bhi na chalega . @narendramodi https://t.co/EjkXkh6Qqa,@arunjaitley Ji Wakeup . Otherwise rest of malya will also run away from under your nose. @narendramodi https://t.co/EjkXkh6Qqa
Bola tha toss jita hai match b jitenge .... Indiarockss — feeling proud,"i told you, since we won the toss, we will win the match .... India rocks feeling proud"
Sab samjh me aata hai .. #CaptainKohli,i understand everything .. #CaptainKohli
@TweetErrantgermany kab jaa raha hai,@TweetErrantgermany when are you leaving
@RoflCritic bahut late se puchha ? 2014 se pahle bhi puchh lete !!!,@RoflCritic you asked this very late ? should have asked this before 2014 !!!
"Har insaan ke fefde alag hote ""hain isi liye Mathews ko itni pareshani nahi ho rahi - this is what #NehraJi just said on commentary 0 #INDvAUS #DelhiPollution",everyone's lungs are unique that's why Mathews isn't facing much problem - this is what #NehraJi just said on commentary 0 #INDvAUS #DelhiPollution
aisa kar uska band bajaa uski bandiyo ke saamne.....u'll feel fantastic,make fun of him in front of his ladies.....u'll feel fantastic
"Jab Mihir aur Tulsi Virani ke lafde chal rahe the, tab kahan the tumhare aansoo?
 #Brangelina","where were your tears when Mihir and Tulsi Virani were having problems?
 #Brangelina"
Haath ko aya muh na lagahttps://twitter.com/CNBCTV18Live/status/831369469020737536 …,don't believe in everything you listen tohttps://twitter.com/CNBCTV18Live/status/831369469020737536 …
"Saawan mein lag gayi aage, dil mera... Whaaat?",what do you mean by a fire got ignited in monsoon?
"nahi yaar, dinner mehenga pad jaata hai.","no buddy, dinner is very expensive."
RT @rameshsrivats : Back to Bangalore . 37 degrees . Approximately 37 degrees more than Modi has .,"RT @rameshsrivats : Back to Bangalore, it is 37 degrees . Approximately 37 degrees more than Modi has ."
hahah :-d acha hua mummy ka fb account nhi h vrna ye post dekh kr maar pdti bht,"thank god mom does't have a facebook account, or i would have been in big trouble due to this post."
@iSakyb Kal maine bola tha na tujhe yaar.,@iSakyb i told you yesterday.
"@nainkatary ganda Wala hai, waise bhi phone keyboard nahi chal raha theek se. Ignore","@nainkatary it is of bad quality, anyways the keyboard on my phone is not working properly."
aise samay me hum jaise bhole logo ki bholi shakal bahot kaam aati hai ...,"in times like this, the innocent face of us innocent people is very benificial."
@SAIFANSAR1 paisa milta hai re. Ek do gaali de na,@SAIFANSAR1 we get money. say a few abusive words.
@twinitisha Ab nahi honge,@twinitisha now it won't happen
Susila maa g ko sat sat naman jo aap jaisa superstar india mai hua. ...salute susila maa. ..,"i praise susila ma'am, she is a superstar"
are usi page par likha hua haipic.twitter.com/PuuUQj4RUg,it is mentioned on the same page pic.twitter.com/PuuUQj4RUg
Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister @myogiadityanath ka #TripleTalaq par shaandaar chakka. Ye khatam karo. Uniform Civil Code lao. Jai ho!,"Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister @myogiadityanath has made a great decision on #TripleTalaq. end this, bring a uniform civil code."
"@KhanKiTigress .. But toss to pak nay jita ,",@KhanKiTigress .. But pakistan won the toss
i was definitely hype for that knicks and nets game tonight &amp, give brooklyn they 1st l fuck you #hurricanesandy
"""Tere ghar aya, main aaya tujhko lene""pic.twitter.com/0Ze0XeIl1t","i came to your house, to get you pic.twitter.com/0Ze0XeIl1t"
@KaminiBae Shaadi shuda ladki se flirt karne ka #PointKyaHai @PAYBACKIndiaPoint Kya Hai,@KaminiBae why flirt with a married girl #PointKyaHai @PAYBACKIndiaPoint Kya Hai
bhai me to kabhi kabhi khud hee taad leta tha 50 paise ya 1 rs ..kaafi hote the match me bet lagane k liye :d,even 1 rupee is enough to place a bet
@indiantweeter ab tujhe invitation lagegi? Bas aisa hi paraya vyavhar jaari rakho. Dil toot jaata hai. @Alllahdin @AskThePankazzzz,@indiantweeter do you think you will need invitation? keep on with this stranger like behavior. this breaks my heart. @Alllahdin @AskThePankazzzz
note par kejri ka photo hota to kejri aisi baate nahi karta @ANI_news,"if kejriwal's face was printed on the note, he won't be talking like this @ANI_news"
Arrey zara suniye is the new baith jaiye #speaker #parliament,hey please listen is the new sit down #speaker #parliament
"Ma'm activation ke liye address aur alt phone number de do
 
 Ghar ka pata puchta hai? Tere maa baap ne ladki ke saath aise bolne sikhaya hai?","Ma'am please give address and alteranative phone number for activation.
 
 Ghar ka pata puchta hai? Tere maa baap ne ladki ke saath aise bolne sikhaya hai?"
"@Gurmeetramrahim #MSG2in500CrClub good morning pita ji , din accha banaye rakhna","@Gurmeetramrahim #MSG2in500CrClub good morning father , hope the day stays good."
Hey salman bhai .kab Milo ge,hey salman bhai . when will he meet
Koi bhi button press karo vote #BJP ko hi jayenge #trump #KimJongUn,no matter which button you press the vote will be casted to #BJP #trump #KimJongUn
hahahahah pehle ye bata ye kya hai bohot bol raha hai@indianrockers @Parsahiyapic.twitter.com/8nqAhiAOYp,first tell me if he is taking a lot@indianrockers @Parsahiyapic.twitter.com/8nqAhiAOYp
"@DuttYogi Amazing , Bhai , All the best ! Jeet Hamari hi hai !","@DuttYogi Amazing , Bhai , All the best ! we will win !"
"Dimaag khaana band kar ab bhai, aur khaana kha le!!pic.twitter.com/7RYRlefKBu",stop frustating me and have some food first!!pic.twitter.com/7RYRlefKBu
"To whoever posted this , we got your message , PM us . Back around 1999 , we have many swimmers in common . ~ Ed","To whoever posted this , we got your message , send a personal message to us . Back around 1999 , we have many swimmers in common ."
@DefucktiveHumor Watchman ko Digvijay Singh ko subah shaam ghumana padega.. Ready ? @witchybitchygal @chintan_p80,"@DefucktiveHumor Watchman, Digvijay Singh will have to petrol day and night. Ready ? @witchybitchygal @chintan_p80"
"andheri raaton mein, sunsaan raahon par, har zulm mitaane ko, ek mahisa nikalta hai...
 Jisse log Maushi kehte hai!","in dark nights, empty alleys, to fight crime, a hero awakes.
people call her maushi"
@PagluPiggu bhai tu khud bhi itna bada celeb hai,"@PagluPiggu buddy you, yourself are a big celebrity"
mechanical me toh fir bhi chance hai aur engineers ka kya hoga......,"people in mechanical engineering still have a chance, what would happen to the other engineers......"
"our wacky wednesday promo ,is going a bit ground hog day !!!i say our our wacky wednesday promo ,is going a bit ...http/URL",our wacky wednesday promo is going a bit ground hog day.http/URL
@lkygrl18 Kabhi soncha hain aise bhi lag sakti hain vaat?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI&feature=youtu.be … #LagGayiVaat Shine,"@lkygrl18 have you ever thought you can get into trouble, even like this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI&feature=youtu.be … #LagGayiVaat Shine"
@Madan_Chikna Ekdam upar tak gaya.,@Madan_Chikna i went to the top.
Ye jis chakki ka atta khata hai.. Uss chakki me aag laga dohttps://twitter.com/gsurya/status/558918714725130240 …,set fire to the machine that ground this flour https://twitter.com/gsurya/status/558918714725130240 …
@Blusafire thanks. Ab ya to us paar ya us paar,@Blusafire thanks. now either over there or over there
that look teachers give you when u go to staffroom asking for a subject teacher to correct ur marks in class test ...,that look teachers give you when you go to staffroom asking teacher for a subject to correct your marks in class test…
ameen may u got a hottest figure girl ,) :)
Stage loot liya bhai @Varun_dvn,He won all heart on stage @Varun_dvn
mere sath ulta hota tha ....papa se mil jate the :p,things used to happened totally opposite with me . . .. I used to get from dad !
Ye sab jalte hai mujhse :'(,they all are jealous of me!
Hi.kabhi kabhi apne fanse bhi mil lia kijie.kuch surprised to dena chahie...,"hello, please meet your fans sometime, you should surprise them"
Ye kya haal banaye rakha hai? Kuch lete kyu nahi?,"you look really messed up, why don't you do something with it"
vo maja na ishq me hai na pyar me .. jo maza hai pakistan ki haar me....hahahaha,the real fun is not in relationships or love but seeing team pakistan lose
Mandir me jaga banalo naya bhagwan aaya hai #IndVsAus,make some room in temple for the new god #IndVsAus
@KaminiBaemann me gaali aur muh pe bhagwaan ka #PointKyaHai Point Kya Hai @PAYBACKIndia,@KaminiBae hate from inside and saying good words #PointKyaHai what is the point of this? @PAYBACKIndia
"tum coffee pite waqt bhi aise sab bakwas karoge? Toh phir nahi.
 Normalcy maintain karoge, toh haan","are you going to blabber while having coffee ? Then not.
 if you maintain normal behaviour then yes."
"PA: Sir woh CP par desh ke yuvak jama huwe hai
 NaMo: JNU ke hai?
 PA: Nahi Sir, gaana gaane
 NaMo: Waah rashtra gaan?
 Nahi sir Bol na auntypic.twitter.com/tixfghBBnQ","PA : sir, the youngsters are gethered on the CP
 NaMo: are they formJNU?
 PA: no sir, they are here to sing a song.
 NaMo: nice, national anthem?
 no sir, ""Bol na aunty"" picture : twitter.com/tixfghBBnQ"
"1 aur failure ! #notebandi main bar-2 niyam badla "" now #GST ! kam karna sai pehla budhiman sochta h "" aur kam karna ka bad murakh sochta h","one more failure ! #notebandi main bar-2 rule changed "" now #GST ! A genius thinks before taking action ""and a fool thinks after taking an action"
"@BDUTT @NazranaYusufzai Aaj kush tho bahut hogi tum , Paki sleeper cell .","@BDUTT @NazranaYusufzai, you must be happy today , Paki sleeper cell ."
"tu aa, kilo bhi aajayga #showoff #myfriendsnameisankit","you first, kilo will also follow you #showoff #myfriendsnameisankit"
@AksharPathak Mereko accha nahi laga toh mai bola Mujhay Yeh China. Japaan lekar aa.,"@AksharPathak I did not like it so, I told to take me to china or japan."
"@katamulgi iska matlab samje daya , soniya G ne kitne darvaje andar se band kiye hoge ab tak .","@katamulgi do you understand the meaning of this, daya?soniya ma'am closed so many doors from inside."
"mar gayi yaar, is sansaar ne, ye misogynistic duniya ne, iss female suppression ne usse jeene nahi diya. Jeeteji mar gayi","she is dead, this world, this misogynistic world, and this female suppression did not allowed her to live. she is dead from inside."
Woh dekho.. Aaj Kejriwal waha rayta faila raha haipic.twitter.com/qE2oSO52Dk,"look, kejriwal is talking rubbish picture : twitter.com/qE2oSO52DK"
Ye jism jaanta hai toh sirf bhoot.,my soul only knows ghost
Sir aisa mat kaho.. Musalman apni beheno ko bhi nahi chhodtehttps://twitter.com/Pontifex/status/671252357376663553 …,"Sir, do not say that.. Musalman do not leave out even there own sisters https://twitter.com/Pontifex/status/671252357376663553"
Inhone thoda human mode on kar Lena chahiye.https://twitter.com/krazy_kriketer/status/867798763758288897 …,they should turn on the human mode. https://twitter.com/krazy_kriketer/status/867798763758288897
@Ra_Bies Gudgaanva aur kahan jau? Bas yahin mera ghar hai ab,@Ra_Bies where else I shold go then gurgaon? now it is my home.
"Please yaar, ye meri hai.","please, it is mine."
..... Ye jahaan mil gayaa! Yes Yes!,I got the whole world!
Ramayan chhod.. Pehle quran to poori padh lehttps://twitter.com/brumbyOz/status/742982491871531008 …,finish quran before you start reading Ramayan https://twitter.com/brumbyOz/status/742982491871531008
"SP se itnaa zyaadaa virodh kar rahaa thaa #GST kaa ""@yadavakhilesh ki rollout se pehley hi B'Day celebrate karney videsh bhaag gayaa!","SP was disfavouring #GST ,before @yadavakhilesh rollout, he flew to foreign country to celebrate his birthday!"
@sunitakatyal mera bhi itna bura nahi hai @KurkureSnacks #ButterMeinTadka https://youtu.be/CrPt1fYTw0IÂ,@sunitakatyal mine is not bad either @KurkureSnacks #ButterMeinTadka https://youtu.be/CrPt1fYTw0IÂ
"""Kohli ki 100 ho gayi kya?""pic.twitter.com/b4TcI3MBiy","""did kohli scored 100 yet?""picture : twitter.com/b4TcI3MBiy"
"To paise wale agar duniya jeetne nikle to isme badi baat kya hogi..
 
 RT @Bu5hra_: Jaeb me paise nahi aur chale Duniya jeetne","what's the big deal if rich people decides to go for winning the world.
 
 RT @Bu5hra_: not a penny in pocket and go for winning the world!"
"@someUSER did you greet josh bradley last sunday ,his bday ?i hope .i love your loveteam !","@someUSER did you greet josh bradley last sunday ,did you wish him his birthday?i hope you did.i love your loveteam!"
@yaksshi nafrat pyar ki pehli seedi hai Yakshi,@yaksshi hate is the first step for love
RT @puneetgarg108 : Shri @AashishKhetan ji addressing a kisan dialouge at Bathinda . https://t.co/4yLoIkIAZR Ho https://t.co/o4eO3FeX4g,RT @puneetgarg108 : mr. @AashishKhetan addressing a farmer dialouge at Bathinda. https://t.co/4yLoIkIAZR Ho https://t.co/o4eO3FeX4g
Barkha aunty jo bhi soche humko karna kya... trooolll kiya toh darna kya?,"why would we do anything what barkha aunti says , we shouldn't worry after trolling her."
"Jitna #Padmavaat k liye Halla Kar rahe Hai Utna hi Agar ""corruption rape aur desh k baki problems k khikaf awaz uthaye toh desh ko fayda hoga!","the chaos they are making for #Padmavaat, if they make at least the same for corruption, rape and, other problems of this country, then the country definitly would have benifited from it."
"SRK - Koi andekha, anjaana tumhare sapno mein nahi aaya ?
 Kajol - Meri shaadi tai ho chuki hai. Tujhi aai ghaal tikde.","SRK - did someone never seen, never known before have come to your dream?
Kajol - my marriage is arranged."
"At least in cases of Ashutosh and Kavitha Krishnan, inki baaten bilkul inki shakal jaisi hain.","At least in cases of Ashutosh and Kavitha Krishnan, their words are same as their face"
@lady_gabbar contest jitwado talk kar lenge,"help us win the contest, we will talk"
@mishrashiv lol mere khayal se ye lines bas antakshari mein hi aati thin :D,@mishrashiv lol mere khayal se ye lines bas antakshari mein hi aati thin :D
"@YoBlackPepper @naina_agarwal protected aaraha hai :-/
 Iss desh mein insta pe sirf 1,70,546 Naina Agarwal honge. Koi kaise dhundega?","@YoBlackPepper @naina_agarwal is protected. 
 There is only 1,70,546 Naina Agarwal in this country! How someone can find her?"
grahshobha mei naye sweater ka blueprint decide hota tha ... teacher bhi kehti thi ki ma sweater umda bnati hai :-p,the blueprint of sweater was decided in grahsabha. teachers also says that mom make great sweaters!
@Atheist_Krishna koi lene ko taiyaar hi nahi hai,no one is ready to take@Atheist_Krishna
"@witchybitchygal ""Ye dharti meri meme hai meme"" @Atheist_Krishnapic.twitter.com/scVhuxg7YG","@witchybitchygal ""this earth is my meme"" @Atheist_Krishna picture : twitter.com/scVhuxg7YG"
Arre yaar sati pratha b band ki gyi na .. kuch to galat laga hoga us time to phr #TripleTalaq kyun nahi ?? Isko hindu muslim me mat bandho,"they stoped ""sati pratha"" in past.. may people felt wrong with that. why not #TripleTalaq?? don't bind it with hindu muslim."
tussi kamal ho faizal bhai.....,you are great! faisal.
People blaming Anushka.. Bhai tum log ki local miss ho jati hai to apni gf ko doshi thehrate ho ?,"People are blaming Anushka, if you miss your local, whould you have blamed your gf for that?"
gujarat campaign k baad massage to banta hai .... #RahulGandhi,a must message after gujarat campaign #RahulGandhi
"Doodhwala: Aaj gaay bimaar ho gayee.. Doodh nahi diya
 
 Pootna: Sick Rabtard","milkman: cow got sick today, didn't give any milk
 
 Pootna: Sick Rabtard"
"#DonaldTrump v #Pakistanio k bina ni reh paya :) "" hamain yaad kiye bagair tum dunia waly jee kaise skte ho ???????","#DonaldTrump can't live without #Pakistanio , how can people of these world can live without remembering us?"
@indiantweeter humne kidhar roka hai bhai,@indiantweeter we haven't stoped you.
"@lolpurush Lalu ko Rajdeep ne kaha tha Gareebo ka neta, lalu ne toh gareebo ko luta hai #BJPAheadMGBDead","@lolpurush Rajdeep said that Lalu is leader of poor people, but he is the one stealing from poors. #BJPAheadMGBDead"
"Kis ka Bhai jaan kahan ka Bhai jaan Kutte tu ek nambar shetan, Eed me hi aata he, Kharab karne imman,","whom friend, what friend, you are a devil, you only come on eid, to remove everyone's faith"
@Arunapk57 ye to mere ghar se 5 mins ka raasta hai.. Aap kaha hai bataye.. Aapse aashirwaad lene aayenge,"@Arunapk57 it's a 5 minute way from my home, tell me where are you, we will be coming for your blessings"
Pls pls pls reply ones...,please reply once.
@MeetUunngLee Sahi hai bhai! Aapko zindagi badi khoob hai,@MeetUunngLee that's nice! you are living a great life.
"@EngineeRoholic bas kar Gogi, rulayega kya","@EngineeRoholic Gogi, enough! you are going to make me cry"
@KyaUkhaadLega @Being_Humor @coolfunnytshirt @Ojasismachha tweet hai,@KyaUkhaadLega @Being_Humor @coolfunnytshirt @Ojasismachha it's a tweet.
Mahi rula raha hai !!!!! thanks for great memories mahi bhai @msdhoni #Dhoni,"you are making me cry, mahi! thanks for great memories mahi@msdhoni #Dhoni"
bas kar. iPhone gift kar de mujhe.,gift me an iphone.
"#GuessTheSong
 Dil mein khwab jaage jaage, hai nigaahein khoyi khoyi Dance Dance!","#GuessTheSong
 ""Dil mein khwab jaage jaage, hai nigaahein khoyi khoyi Dance Dance!"""
This is also Aero !!!,This is also Aero!
Sir ki meetings ho gayee ab Sir Pakistan ko ek karara tweet kar #UriAttacks ka badla lengehttps://twitter.com/abpnewstv/status/777787674635608064 …,"Sir just finished his meetings. now Sir, write a critical tweet to pakistan. we will take revange of #UriAttacks https://twitter.com/abpnewstv/status/777787674635608064"
"RT @IndiaHistorypic : 1880s : Kashi Vishwanath Temple , Varanasi , one of 12 Jyotirlingas of Lord Shiva #MahaShivratri http://t.co/J6L8Y4QmZb ""","RT @IndiaHistorypic : 1880s : Kashi Vishwanath Temple , Varanasi , one of 12 Jyotirlingas of Lord Shiva #MahaShivratri http://t.co/J6L8Y4QmZb"
@Atheist_Krishna Aam ka season aa gaya ke ??,@Atheist_Krishna is the season of mangoes is here?
@kitAnurag isiliye tu block hota hai. Fir screenshot lekar ghumta rehta hai.,"@kitAnurag that's why you frequently get blocked, and then you walk around with screenshots."
Sh . Suresh Prabhu announced Malaviya Chair at IIT/BHU for Railway technology #RailBudget2015,Shri Suresh Prabhu announced Malaviya Chair at IIT/BHU for Railway technology #RailBudget2015
dr .mohamed morsi announced as egypt's 1st elected president after the glorious 25th of jan revolution .congratulations to #egypt !,dr. mohamed morsi is announced as egypt's 1st elected president after the glorious 25th of jan revolution. congratulations to #egypt !
i heard that @someUSER is on jonathan ross sat .i'm gearing up for the super pout .,i heard that @someUSER is on jonathan ross sat. i am gearing up for the super pout.
".@mahnoor aap farishte hain, aap se galti ho hi nahi sakti.","@mahnoor you are god, you can't possibly make any mistakes"
"Kejriwal: ""Bhagwaan hamaare saath hain""
 
 Bhagwaan: ""Bhagg bc""","Kejriwal: ""god is wwith us.""
 
god: ""no way!"""
hahahahahahaha ..lagta hai kachua sir ne prestige se inkaar kiya tha :p,i think kachua sir denied to prestige!
@Insane_chorri mann me zor se gaali aayee hai,@Insane_chorri my mind got an abusive word.
"@kaalia_bhatt @Madan_Chikna aise na bol, main bhi baad khush hua tha jab hazaar followers hue the, koi kaam bke nahi hai saale","@ Kaliya_bhatt @ Madan_Chickna Don't speak like that, I was also happy when thousands of followers were there, no one is of any use"
Kabaddi team mein saath khel rahe hai kya?https://twitter.com/prachikad/status/641494699933483008 …,are you playing with me in Kabaddi team? https://twitter.com/prachikad/status/641494699933483008
"Tum haar ke dil apna, meri zindagi jhand kar do. Hothon se chhu lo tum.","You lose your heart, destroy my life. Touch you with your lips."
@papps_gunner Kar dibakwaas? Bhabhi ko tere ye sab tweets naa dikhaiyo,"@Pappas_Gunner, are you done with your rubbish talk? Don't show your all these tweets to sister-in-law
"
Doval na hota to West Bengal me Ho jurm kar rahe hai wo Sab jagah hota https://t.co/gpzV3SkEax,"If there was no Doval, the crime that people are committing in West Bengal would happen everywhere: //TCO/Gapzav3Skaks"
@bahujansenaind Sadasya banane ke liye Missed Call Kare 09250512222,"@bahujansenaind to be part of our team, Missed Call Kare 09250512222"
".@ColdCigar tum*
 
 Bhai josh me typo ho jaate hai.. i understand.. chill maar be.. ye sab to chalta hi rehta hai","@ColdCigar you
 
typo can happens due to excitement, i understand, chill, it happens to everyone"
"Kaale hai toh kya hua ? Dilwale hain . @ Emaar Boulevard , Downtown https://t.co/ux601C2lUf","what's wrong if i'm black? we are heartful. @Emaar Boulevard , Downtown https://t.co/ux601C2lUf"
@Atheist_Krishna bc holi ki yaad aa gayee.. Hahaha,@Atheist_Krishna i'm missing holi
"@bhaiyyajispeaks LOL. Don't get into my harlem, kuch apne baghanon se chuni ladki ke saath kara do!","@bhaiyyajispeaks Don't get into my harlem, please set me up with girl"
BJP to dikhava hai.. Shatru ji ko JDU jitaana hai #BiharKaJaichandShatrughanpic.twitter.com/zmpRoLFAgO,"BJP is just a showoff, Shatruji wants to win JDU #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan picture : twitter.com/zmpRoLFAgO"
@LoKarloUnfollow Arre bhai nahi pilana to mat pila.. Dimaag ki dahi to mat kar,"@LoKarloUnfollow don't offer if you don't want to, just stop annoying me"
accha hua sanskrit ke teacher ne complain nahi ki...:p,it's good that sanskrit teacher didn't complained.
"""Idhar aa Trendulkar tujhe mein angregi sikhati hu.. Haraamzaade""pic.twitter.com/3cX7WqQe6J","i'll teach you some english tendulkar, you piece of shit picture : twitter.com/3cX7WqQe6J"
#DelhiPollution #delhiAirpollution #DelhiAirQuality Arvind Kejriwal ki Nayi Nautanki start ho gayi....shame on you Arvind ...pls jaag jao ab toh...Kyu life ke sath khilwaad ker rahe ho!!,"#DelhiPollution #delhiAirpollution #DelhiAirQuality Arvind Kejriwal started false drama, shame on you Arvind, please be aware you people, why are you playing with lives!"
bhai guddu ko aaj-kal kya ho gaya hai !!!gag pe gag !!!acchee din aa gaye !!! :p,what happened to guddu this days! good days are here!
Bas kar pagli @Insane_chorri ab rulaegi kya,stop it girl @Insane_chorri are you going to make me cry
Itni berozgaar ho gayee.. Stay free khareedne ke bhi paise nahi https://twitter.com/ameesha_patel/status/658594772098154496 …,so jobless that don't have money to buy stay free https://twitter.com/ameesha_patel/status/658594772098154496
cc @tweeting_pal Pal tere live haal dikhane wale haihttps://twitter.com/aajtak/status/662179772995268609 …,cc @tweeting_pal there are going to show your situation live. https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/662179772995268609
commitmnt kr k bhul gye kya??,did you forgot after commitment??
"usse khush hojaate hai log? Woh toh waise bhi accessible hai, agar chaho to. Whatsapp kyu chahiye uske liye?","why people are happy with that? it is already accesible, if you want to. why do you want whatsapp for that?"
"RT @sachin2310 : India aur Pakistan ki Women team ko bahut-bahut badhaiyan , Umeed hai dono teams accha match khelegain . #IndvsPak","RT @sachin2310 : a big congratulations to the India and Pakistan Women team, hopefully both teams will play a good match. #IndvsPak"
"Tum UP mein ho na, tum bhijwao","you are in Uttar pradesh, you send it"
"Adelaide me aaya bhoot.. 
 Afridi ki ammi ka ____ aur Pakistan ki maa ki ____
 
 Fill in the blanks (3 marks, 3 marks)","a ghost got into Adelaide .. 
 Afridi's mom's  ____ and Pakistan's mom's ____
 
 Fill in the blanks (3 marks, 3 marks)"
"#asimplelife opens tomorrow at lee's 4-star in san fran - roger ebert called it"" one of the year's best films ""http/URL",#asimplelife opens tomorrow at lee's 4-star in san fran - roger ebert called it one of the year's best films.
"Sounds like a kid's saying to his dad: ""papa bhaiya ne #sharmauncle ko dikhane ke liye padhai Kiya aur first aaye #pappu #GST @republic","Sounds like a kid's saying to his dad: ""dad, brother studied and scored first just to show #sharmauncle"" #pappu #GST @republic"
Sana aa gaya tumara nakli salman khan hahaha....,Sana is here
Sandaas mein 5 minute lag gaye ho toh ballebaaz hagne baitha hoga. #ArunLalLogic,if it takes more then 5 minutes then the batsman must be shitting. #ArunLalLogic
.@ne_hah itna boring hai article hai.. Log bhi kya kya karte hai RT ke liye @sagarikaghose,"@ne_hah this article is so boring, what things people do for RT! @sagarikaghose"
Never forget these words, Bhaad mein jaaye duniya
"RT @ITwingDSS : Pious Bhandara for the Foundation Day & Jaam-E-Insan Day will be celebrated on 29th April at Shah Satnam Ji Dham , Sirsa from","RT @ITwingDSS : Pious Bhandara for the Foundation Day & Jaam-E-Insan Day will be celebrated on 29th April at Shah Satnam Ji Dham , Sirsa"
@insane_chorri Kanpur mein bhi humare kuchh bahut hi khas log hain :),@insane_chorri we do have some special people in kanpur
"Meanwhile @Sinceere_Angel #AAPHelpLine:
 
 ""Bacho ki nappy kaise badalte hai""
 ""Rukiye..Anna ji se baat kariye..Kejriwal ki wo hi badalte the""","Meanwhile @Sinceere_Angel #AAPHelpLine:
 
 ""how to bind kids nappy""
 ""wait, talk to Annaji, he was the one changing Kejriwal's nappy"""
super duper like ..salla nostalgia la diye,it is so super that it gave me nostalgia.
@BloodyKamina gaali kyu bak raha hai mujhe ?,@BloodyKamina why are you saying abusive words to me?
ye lal rang wala kutta bola .,that red dog just spoke.
Agar Ye report negative hoti to #DeMonetisation aur #GST ne desh ko duba Diya Par ab sab chup #easeofdoingbusiness #IndiaRising #EoDB,"if the report would have negative then this #DeMonetisation and #GST would have destroyed the country, but now every one is quiet #easeofdoingbusiness #IndiaRising #EoDB"
Ye Sultan me bhai ka sar chhaati me se kyu nikla hai !pic.twitter.com/fzUxA3VwJQ,"in sultan, why his head is poping out of his cheast! picture : twitter.com/fzUxA3VwJQ"
@shrustyle aise bhi hote hai?,@shrustyle are there also?
"Dinesh Karthik bhi IPL me accha khelta hai, use bhi le lo Indian team me.","Dinesh Karthik also plays good in IPL, take him too in indian team"
"RT @theFirstHandle : @ShootinThoughts @DDNewsHindi HAHAHAHA jo bhi tagged the , sabko kar diya",RT @theFirstHandle : @ShootinThoughts @DDNewsHindi  i did all of them who were tagged
"@Priya_Menon @ttrinadasgupta yahan twosome ka pata nahi, threesome ki toh baatein bhi nahi karni.","@Priya_Menon @ttrinadasgupta i don't know about twosome, i don't even want to talk about threesome."
@Singhlicious @HaramiParindey Ae vee kaint cheej ae badi,@Singhlicious @HaramiParindey that's a big thing
guddu yar tu shaadi kab kar raha hai ??mere gharwalo ne ladka dekhna start kr dia h n im so much in love wid u :p,"guddu,  when will you get married??my perents have started searching a guy for me andi am in love with you so much."
"ye sali generation hi kharab thi ..:-/ shame on you rekha ,sunita ,kachhua and all :p :@","the whole generation was bad, shame on you rekha ,sunita ,kachhua, and all."
"Bhagoda 1: Kejriwal
 Bhagoda 2: Somnath Bhartihttps://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/647005490044514304 …","Bhagoda 1: Kejriwal
Bhagoda 2: Somnath Bharti https://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/647005490044514304 …"
sahi to bol rahe hai @ArvindKejriwal,he is saying the truth @ArvindKejriwal
"Competition banaye rakha hai, hamari ganpati tumse achhi. Galat hai","Competition is still maintained, our ganpati is better than yours, it's wrong"
@BhumikaShah7 karelaa . . Aur zoom kiyaa hota to allien dikhta . .,"@BhumikaShah7 bitter gourd, and when zoomed sees allien."
"When a girl say , Bakbak bahut karte ho :v I think Ye Humein apna Competitor samajh rahi hai :v :v https://t.co/G0GtQr0KgR","When a girl say you blabber too much, I think they consider us as  Competitor https://t.co/G0GtQr0KgR"
Naice naice naice....,nice nice nice!
"KYA TUMNE KABHI KISISE PYAR KIYA?
 KIYAAA
 AUR USNE KISI DOOSRE SE PYAAR KIYA?
 KIYAAA","have you ever loved anyone?
yes
and did the same person loved someone else?
yes"
@Being_Humor Aashiq banaya AAP ne @EconomicTimes,@Being_Humor you made me a lover @EconomicTimes
@DefucktiveHumor Nitish pyaara lagta hai izzat kyu nahi #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan,@DefucktiveHumor love Nitish and why not loving honor? #BiharKaJaichandShatrughan
"@someUSER hi bob . 'm fine . tomorrow is a holiday here ,all souls' day 'n the 15th republic day , another holiday . now i'm a little busy...","@someUSER hello bob, i'm fine. tomorrow is a holiday here, all souls' day and the 15th republic day , another holiday . now i'm a little busy..."
why this political leaders makes public life hell - ek insaan dosre insaan ka kabhi bhala kabhi nahi karta - sirf apni satta chalayega #GST,why this political leaders makes public life hell - a humer never do something good to another human - they will only do what they want #GST
"apko kyun jalan ho rahe hai "" ya phir Afridi kay Ashwin ko 6 s yaad kar ke khush . #SurgicalStrike",why are you so jelous or happy with afridi's sixes to ashwin. #SurgicalStrike
@vbm6767 yeh bhi ladai karne ka ek bahana hai. Ab bolo kisko potty nahi aati @indiantweeter,@vbm6767 It's also an excuse for fight. now tell me if anyone is shitting! @indiantweeter
@JhaSanjay dum hai to Modi ji ko tag kar na..,@JhaSanjay tag modiji if you have guts.
kachua sir angrezi bolta hai kyaa???:p,do kachua sir speaks english?
apple shakeup mobile software boss eased out: apple inc .ceo tim cook on monday pushed out the powerful head of the company&amp,#039
"Tu paisa paisa karti hai.. Kyu paise pe tu marti hai
 
 #NitishLaluStingpic.twitter.com/QnJc0Hw4G7","you are keep talking about money, why money matters to you so much?
 
 #NitishLaluSting picture : twitter.com/QnJc0Hw4G7"
ye kuchh zyada ho jayega ,-)
""" success saturday "" - having a great time at the 4th annual girlfriend group celebration !@someUSER wood @someUSER cofield @someUSER maddox",""" success saturday "" - having a great time at the 4th annual girlfriend group celebration !@someUSER wood @someUSER cofield @someUSER mad ox"
"Pichwaade par laat maarna seekho, usse chaatne wale toh hazaar mil jayenge. 
 #Irshaad","learn to kick his ass, you'll find plenty to lick your ass. 
 #Irshaad"
Ghanta cashless! Rickshaw wala 500 rupaye maang raha hai.,what cashless! the texi guy is asking for 500 ruppees
"4 bivi
 40 bachhe 
 72 virgins
 aur
 1760 Bhasad https://twitter.com/MSajidRashidi/status/828334175728103424 …","4 wives
 40 kids 
 72 virgins
 and
 1760 rasam https://twitter.com/MSajidRashidi/status/828334175728103424"
ye bhi to thik hi dikhta hai :),that one also looks good
and baccho this is how gayrbage bin started ...:-|,and kids this is how garbage bin started.
mon #PVSindhu Go for gold !! Misaal ban ne ka time aa gaya hai !! #BWF 2017 #Glasgow #SindhuvsOkuhara,#PVSindhu Go for gold! it's time to make history! #BWF 2017 #Glasgow #SindhuvsOkuhara
Ghar mein zyada kooda mat karna. Bangladesh har rahi hai. Kal koodewala gham mein chhutti karega.,"don't spread garbage in house. Bangladesh is losing. tomorrow, garbage man will be on leave."
"RT @TheRajKundra : Australia walon ko pata nahin hai , kitna bhi target ho , hum India wale March mahine mein pura kar hi dete hain ...","RT @TheRajKundra : Australians don't know, no matter the target, we indians always finish in March."
@Toh_Kya_Hua @91mishraprachi nahi aayega,@Toh_Kya_Hua @91mishraprachi won't come
"Kabse iss pyaase jhagadte TL par, sense ki ek boondh tak nahi giri.",for a long time this arguing TL par haven't come to his senses yet.
"dimag fir gya hai admin ka,abe aisa is much better then nsui and abvp,huh","admin is gone mad ,aisa is much better then nsui and abvp"
@Miss_Ankiita Yaha pootna mana hai,@Miss_Ankiita peeing is not allowed here.
street fighter kahan hai!chuli,where is the street fighter kahan hai!
Ek baar commitment kardi 4:00pm phir kisiki nhi sunnte :),"once commitment 4:00pm,  won't listen to anyone"
chalk lene ke liye bahar nikalna sirf bahana tha pura school ghoomane ka .....,getting out to bring the chalk is just an excuse to roam in the entire school
"@TulsiIrani bhai usi ko dekh ke kiya,","@TulsiIrani i did after seeing her,"
"Chalo achha hai, waise bhi inke much lagna theek nahi hai.https://twitter.com/genderlogindia/status/870603166240227330 …","well this is good, and it's not a good idea to face them https://twitter.com/genderlogindia/status/870603166240227330"
"@VertikaKhullar jaguar nahi, abhi ye haihttp://instagram.com/p/pJFNR4JfpA/Â","@VertikaKhullar not jaguar, this is for now http://instagram.com/p/pJFNR4JfpA/Â"
"Dad: Beta how was ur day
 
 @farzana_versey: Thak gayee Papa.. Aaj hindus ko abuse kiya dinbhar twitter pe.. Khoob gaaliya bhi khayee
 
 Dad:","Dad: son, how was your day?
 
 @farzana_versey: tired dad, today we abuse hindusthe whole day on twitter. heard so many abusive responces too.
 
 Dad:"
naak samose jaisi hai.. baki lakdi qweet hai,"nose is like samosa, but she is cute."
@LoKarloUnfollow aa gaya aag me petrol daalne@tweeting_pal,"@LoKarloUnfollow here we go, he jcome to put petrol on fire@tweeting_pal"
"tum rehne do, favorite tumne bhi kiya hai. Aise logon ke dil ke saath khelte nahi. Hmph.","you please leave it, you have also made favourites. don't play with these type of people."
@Being_Humor achcha sila diya tune mere pyaar ka,@Being_Humor You stole my love
toh aur kahan giregi?,"so, where else will you fall?"
lol.. Tu bol mein AAP ka karyakarta hu.. Amazon ka India head tujhe khud dene aayega parcel @amazon @AmazonHelp,"you just say, i'm a member of AAP, Amazon India's head will personaly come to send you parcel @amazon @AmazonHelp"
"""Bharat ki barbadi tak, jang rahegi jung rahegi"" 
 – Zuban-e-Khanjar
 https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/699513431972392961 …","""to equal to the india there will be war"" 
 Zuban-e-Khanjar
 https://twitter.com/RanaAyyub/status/699513431972392961"
aaj to @Rohinisgh_ET ki naukri gayee @yadavakhilesh @Akhilesh_ET,"today, @Rohinisgh_ET will lose his job @yadavakhilesh @Akhilesh_ET"
Relationship status: Wo kya hota hai?,Relationship status: what is that?
ab bharose ke layak nahi hai aap .,"now, you can't be trusted."
@no2dm behen ke liye,@no2dm for sister.
@TheDilliMirror @hinnaz Tusee padhan likhan aaley nai lagdey tusee mere vargey ho,@TheDilliMirror @hinnaz you won't going to learn anything
@OfficeOfRG 2014 ke pehle tak aap Ka yehi model tha . Tit for tat . Tho I don't agree but aap yehi bhasha samajhte hain,this was your model till @OfficeOfRG 2014. Tit for tat . though I don't agree but this is how you going to learn.
""" jab koi ladki na kehti hai , toh uska matlab na hi hota hai ( when a girl says no , it only means no ) "" #soimportant http://t.co/CkAMzmhH1g","""when a girl says no, it means no"" #soimportant http://t.co/CkAMzmhH1g"
"Hum to Aam Aadmi hain ji, woh Megalomaniac haipic.twitter.com/8KKhjRtSzQ","we are just common man, he is a Megalomaniac picture : twitter.com/8KKhjRtSzQ"
@PoojaMissra vikas or rojgar ki hogi ab bharmar..... #GoodByeNitishKumar,@PoojaMissra devlopment and employment will increases #GoodByeNitishKumar
@Trollacharya bas dua main yaad rakhna,@Trollacharya just always remember us
@varungrover Ji haan. Holi par thandai peene aaye hain :),"@varungrover yes, we are here to drink thandai on holi!"
"@Fuljhadii woh uska hone wala pati jaane, meri responsibility khatam. Kyun bhai @mcdonaldsindia?","@Fuljhadii her future husband will take care, my responsibility is over. why @mcdonaldsindia?"
Allah ap ko sada khush rakh. aameen.,god will always keep you happy
Aaj Phir Harayenge Kyunki Aadat Hai . #IndvsPak,we will again win today due to habbits! #IndvsPak
Ujjaini Mein Jo Bhi by Pt . Devendra Bihari Goswami || Kumbh Special Bhajan : https://t.co/ENNAy5TMp9 via @YouTube,"in Ujjain; by Pt . Devendra Bihari Goswami, Kumbh Special Bhajan : https://t.co/ENNAy5TMp9 via @YouTube"
@irajvirsinghbihar ko america banane chala tha ye #FailedCMNitish, they were trying to make @irajvirsinghbihar america #FailedCMNitish
@YogendraTyagi9 Kab tak apna news channel Photoshop k zariye chalatey rahogey?? @abpnewstv #NewsDalalABP,@YogendraTyagi9 how long our news channel will servive just on photoshop? @abpnewstv #NewsDalalABP
Nisha aur uske sins.,Nisha and her sins.
haha lagta hai guddu ke papa police me hai ,)
Sunne me aaya hai ki #Yugpurush #Khujliwal #ManMohanSingh ka course kar Raha hai isliye #SilentMan Bana hua hai,"the rumour is that #Yugpurush #Khujliwal are doing #ManMohanSingh course, that's why they became #SilentMan"
Hii..Salman Bhai mai abhi se kah raha hun ki apki Bajarangi Bhaijaan hit film hai... Ap kya Kahte hain????,"Hey, Salman, i am telling you before the release that Bajarangi Bhaijaan will be a hit. what's your saying in that?"
@LoKarDi_RT zor se aayegi to sauchenge,@LoKarDi_RT if it comes with pressure then we will think
"@YearOfRat filhaal toh bola nahi hai, phir bhi chala jaunga physio ke paas ek baar","@YearOfRat they haven't told me to, but still i will go to physiotherapist once."
"*stamps feet* 
 *acts like a dumb delhi chick*
 mujhe bas old monk chhiye chhiye chhiye","stamps feet 
 acts like a dumb delhi girl
i only want old monk."
Dono saath gaye the date pe https://twitter.com/realkeerthi/status/881082238737174528 …,they both went on date together https://twitter.com/realkeerthi/status/881082238737174528
"hamesha shaq sa hota hai ... ye iss tarah ki batein ye scooter wagerah sirf ek 90's ka kvian hi kar sakta hai ,guddu kvian hai kya ???","it always feels like doubts, this type of talk, this scooter etc., only someone from 90's kvian can do, is guddu kvian???"
"what teams do you think may get transferred/moved in the future ?i can only see the sacramento kings ,phoenix ...http/URL","what teams do you think may get transferred/moved in the future?i can only see the sacramento kings ,phoenix"
"akshat, they are good .",akshat haha .they are good .
still time to order your #halloween treats !deadline: 2pm cst today (with overnight shipping) to arrive tomorrow !---&gt, http/URL
@WickkedSoul kamina aadmi hai,@WickkedSoul is a bad guy
"Aise na Mujhe Tum Dekho #GST Laga ""Dunga GST Laga ke #IncomeTax bhi Kaat lunga.","don't look at me like that,  i'll set up #GST, after GST i'll cut #IncomeTax."
"*normal people asking directions*
 bhaiya ye road kidhar ko jati hai?
 *salman khan*
 bhaiya ye footpath kidhar ko jata hai?","normal people asking directions
where this road leads to?
salman khan
where this footpath lead to?"
"Ram Kapoor: Meri biwi mujhe bol rahi hai ki meri jaan le lo.
 
 All married man: BHENCHO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?","Ram Kapoor: my wife is telling me to kill her.
 
 All married man: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"
"@coolfunnytshirt Sir, iski ichha puri kar do @eighth_samurai","@coolfunnytshirt Sir, fulfill his wishes @eighth_samurai"
"Jumme ke din kiya chumme ka vada.. Lo aa gaya aaj phir jumma jumma.. Jumma chumma naa de chumma..
 
 LOL @Pakistan LOL","pomished a kiss on a kiss day, here comes the kiss day today, didn't get kiss
 
@Pakistan!"
guddu khud kb cycle chalana sikhega .. har bar shan ke piche hi baithta hai ... :),"guddu, when will you learn to ride a bicycle, everytime you sit behind shan."
"""Zindagi me do chize mujhe bilkul nahi pasand, choti soch aur choti ball"" - Suresh Raina #IndvsAus","i don't like two things in my life, small thoughts and small ball"" - Suresh Raina #IndvsAus"
hum logo ko to sirf eid par 20 rupaye milte the ...:p n rest of d year ...2 athanniya ..:(,"we used to get only 20 ruppees on eid, and rest of the year, 2 pennies!"
Aapko itni cmnts aayegi.. Aap toh reply b ni kroge..,you will recive so many comments that you won't be able to reply
@nahid isnt your reply an answer,@nahid isn't your reply an answer?
@Insane_chorri mujhe kya pata? main to innocent hoon.,@Insane_chorri what would i know? i am innocent.
"@someUSER lololololololol im a sg on the bucks so im on a good team ,but under monta ellis .whats your position ?were you picked 3rd ?","@someUSER i am a sg on the bucks so i am on a good team, but under monta ellis. what is your position? were you picked 3rd?"
"lauren goodger may reportedly be in training for the next series of dancing on ice ,but that doesn't seem to have stopped her from ha ...","lauren goodger may reportedly be in training for the next series of dancing on ice ,but that doesn't seem to have stopped her from"
"""Viru Paaji to Shoaib: Haan maine dekha hai aap kitne tez the, fine leg ki taraf apne pankh failate huye bhagte the"" THiS IS FUN #INDvsAUS","""Viru Paaji to Shoaib: yes, i have seen how fast you were, you used to run toward fine lag"" THiS IS FUN #INDvsAUS"
it's november 1 so you know what that means .you'll see valentine's day stuff at walmart soon .#celebratetherightholiday,it's november 1st so you know what that means .you'll see valentine's day stuff at walmart soon .#celebratetherightholiday
@bruiselee bhai bura maan gaya aapki baat ka. 5 wicket nikaal liye,"@bruiselee felt bad because of what you said, took down 5 wickets"
Oye balle balle ... :) On the set of Voice of Punjab http://t.co/FtH9PQsbFg,nice! On the set of Voice of Punjab http://t.co/FtH9PQsbFg
@Yami_Buttercup aaj vrat rakha ya nahi@MarwariChori,@Yami_Buttercup are you gonna perform vrat today or not @MarwariChori
"@indiantweeter awesome, mujhe bhi le ja kabhi :p","@indiantweeter awesome, take me with you sometime"
@mywoodthorpe Bihar me election hai BJP Aur Mahagathbandhan ke liye ladaai aar ya paar...#FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,"@mywoodthorpe election is held in Bihar, fight for BJP and Mahagathbandhan #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar"
Salute to indian army... agar india se koi bachaa chale jatey den pakistani army return nai krta...,"Salute to indian army, if some indian kids would have gone, the pakistani army would never give us back"
@Oinkoo hamare yaha to raat ko hi ho gayi. Bhai @AskThePankazzzz thoda state-wise time divide kar je pray kiya kar,"@Oinkoo that hapened the night @AskThePankazzzz do  divide time a bit state-wise, do pray"
"Vodafone ka 3G to theek se chalta nahi, 4G kya ghanta chalega!","Vodafone 3G isn't working proparly, why the hell would 4G works!"
@OfficeOfRG LOL CHILL CHHOTA BHEEM,@OfficeOfRG CHILL SMALL BHEEM
@Atheist_Krishna hahaha.. Koi achcha kaam nahi hai Pootna ko pareshaan karna ,)
Ramesh Powar ko bhi bula lo https://twitter.com/Being_Humor/status/856205175316508673 …,please also call Ramesh Powar to come https://twitter.com/Being_Humor/status/856205175316508673
"@Alllahdin yaar, waisi personality bhi honi chahiye na. Main toh shakal chupaane ke liye daadhi. @MeetUunngLee chocolate boy hai.","@Alllahdin dude, that type of personality is also nessesery. i grow this beard to hide my face. @MeetUunngLee is chocolate boy."
Yeh #ItalianChudail desh ko khaa jaaegi RT @IndiaToday Sonia Gandhi leads opposition charge to not allow #RailBudget #RailBudget2015, #ItalianChudail will eat up the whole country RT @IndiaToday Sonia Gandhi leads opposition charge to not allow #RailBudget #RailBudget2015
@eye_nakshiran abhi tak tum think he kar rahi ho naira pe he hogi,@eye_nakshiran so far you are thinking but you will settle with naira
bhai ap muslim bina kesi hit karoge ye films. .,how will your film go hit without muslim.
Iss thand mausam mein a/c dhakad hai dhakad hai a/c dhaakad hai.,in this cold wether the a/c is all raged up!
@melotus mango season bhi hai Kavita,"@melotus it's a mango season too, Kavita"
"@Arunapk57 ye sad wale poetries ke liye hai aunty, jo poetries ke naam par hawas ka propoganda chalate hai :'(","@Arunapk57 this is for theose with sad poetry, aunty, who just spread the propoganda of lust as sad poetry."
@indiantweeter bad gareebon ka mazaak udaao,@indiantweeter make fun of poor people
@aniket51082 ye to yahi batayenge :) @bhuvanrajora,@aniket51082 only he will tell you that @bhuvanrajora
pehle phir bhi theek tha.. Jab se Modi ji PM bane hai.. Stupido pagla gaya hai @MeetUunngLee,"before, it was ok,after modiji becoming PM, stupido gone crazy @MeetUunngLee"
Bhai tym ho gya...,"hey, it's time"
Just watched Phool Aur Kaante. Daane daane mein kesar ka dam.,Just watched Phool Aur Kaante. power of kesar in each particles.
guddu laila k sath date pe jaega k nahi?,will guddu go on a date with laila?
Sometimes I look at the heavens for inspiration .. :) #Retrica #Sunshine http://t.co/1BR2RZGKbi,Sometimes I look at the heavens for inspiration #Retrica #Sunshine http://t.co/1BR2RZGKbi
To yahan kyun nahi hai? Mazze aarahe hai,"then, why are you not here? are you having fun?"
@Vocal_Indian aur karna padegi suar se pyaar #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar,@Vocal_Indian and now have to love pigs #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar
@hkumar26 nahi yar. FIR di hai.,"@hkumar26 no dude, i gave FIR"
RT @BeingSalmanKhan : KASHMIR bahut AMEER in natural beauty ... Maashallah Maashallah http://t.co/y6r6n78rTv,"RT @BeingSalmanKhan : kashmir is reach in beauty, wounderful http://t.co/y6r6n78rTv"
"Hi bhai @BarackObama, aate huye ek iPhone6 64GB gold lete aana, aur duty free se ek aad black label bhi pakad lena. Thanks!","hey @BarackObama, when you come, please bring an iPhone6 64GB gold, and from duty free please bring one black label. Thanks!"
Kuch talve chatne wale #TripleTalaq ko bhi astha ka visay batate hai wah!aur aise log sirf congress se hi belong kr skte hai.,some soles licker saying #TripleTalaq is a topic of faith! these people belongs to congress.
@rootofall3vil @BCCI dekho kahin pyaar na ho jaye,@rootofall3vil @BCCI carful with falling in love with someone
@Atheist_Krishna follower to aur aa jaenge.. ye pal nahi aayenge dobara ,)
@hinnaz Kaha milta hai ye ajeeb flavor?,@hinnaz where this weird flavor can found?
scorcher fest returns to the duke again for a huge day of live music !this years record 180 acts !sunday 18th ...http/URL,scorcher fest returns to the duke again for a huge day of live music !this years record 180 acts !sunday 18th
Relationship Status: Dil toh pagal hum de chuke hai sanam.,Relationship Status: i have already given my crazy heart.
Shame Kyunki koi admission lene main interested nahi hai is pagalkhane #JNU main !! Yeh toh hona hi tha !! Jaldi band bhi hoga !!!,Shame! nobody is ready to take admission in this mental-hospital #JNU ! this was meant to happen ! soon will be closed!
Saara seher mujhe PAPPU k naam se janta hai . #whereisrahul #rahulonleave #twistedbollywoddialogues,the whole city knows me as pappu. #whereisrahul #rahulonleave #twistedbollywoddialogues
papa ne sahi time pe match ko sambhaal liya ... nahi tow match gaya tha haath se :),"dad handled match at perfect time, we would have lost"
"Accha hua Arbaz Khan se accident nahi hua, warna wo Roger Federer ka naam le leta.","it is good that Arbaz Khan didn't commited accident, otherwise that Roger Federer would be framed by him."
"@ROFLaaLa haha nahi yaar last moment short trip, ek do ghar ke kaam niptaane the. Aaunga Feb mein. Uppar se tabiyat not OK.","@ROFLaaLa no dude, last moment short trip, couple of home related works. i'll come in february. and right now i'm sick."
Baki Kuch bhi ho pr photo ka centre humhi lenge !.,i don't care about rest but i'll be the one standing in the center of the photo.
kisi aur ka post hai. Kya hua? :),"it's someone else's post, what happend?"
@ttrinadasgupta dard toh bahot hai,@ttrinadasgupta the pain is too high
"#RailBudget2015 : "" Hey Prabhu , Ye Kaise Hoga ? "" @sureshpprabhu sets an ambitious task ahead : http://t.co/QNt4tLI18H","#RailBudget2015 : "" god , how can i do this? "" @sureshpprabhu sets an ambitious task ahead : http://t.co/QNt4tLI18H"
Masala Chaas .... One glass is not enough,Masala buttermilk .... One glass is not enough
@UniqueIdiot_ bhai rega jha ne mujhe bhi ugly bola :(,@UniqueIdiot_ bhai rega jha called me ugly too!
@ppritam009 bhai ki film Eid pe ho to wish karne ki kya jarurat hai.,"@ppritam009 if his film release on Eid , then no need to wish him."
oye bhen ke bhaiyyo.. sallu bhai ki koi chiz fek nahi hoti.. samjhe kya,"hey brothers of sisters, none of sallu's thing is fake, understand?"
Hahahahaahaha what a joke ! PR Queen Divyanka ka drama dekho bhai 0 Khud hi apne aap ko promote krti hai aur fans btati hai #Fraud #Shame,what a joke ! PR watch Queen Divyanka's drama she promotes herself and make fans #Fraud #Shame
Mullo ko bhagao...TP mat karo,"kick out the mullas, don't  do TP "
"Kahte hain hamko pyar se Indiawaale, ghar me bhi lutwaa le ham Indiawaale. #IndvsSA","they call us indiawale with love, we can be stole in even the home. #IndvsSA"
guddu ki hi nhi gharwaalon ki bhi class laga di .......,they not only lectured guddu but including there perents too.
"Kiska bhaijan kahan ka Bhai jaan Kutte tu ek nambar shetan,,,, Eed me hi aata he,, kharab karne imman,,,","whom friend, what friend, you are a devil, you only come on eid, to remove everyone's faith"
Shaadi karunga to usse jo mujhe #GST ka matlab samjha sake. Tag a #GST understanding girl for me.,if i'll ever marry then i'll marry the one who understand #GST. Tag a #GST understanding girl for me.
#AAP Water and Power bills slashes . Congress and BJP ka ' Vilap ' . ' Rudali ' ban gayi hai dono party . #BJP #RailBudget2015 #,"#AAP Water and Power bills slashes . Congress and BJP crying,  both parties have become 'rudali' #BJP #RailBudget2015 #"
"@Javedakhtarjadu - bhai tu bada #JolllyLLB ban ke ghum riya hai 0 Jab #JNU me anti-national slogans gunj rahe the "" tab kaha the Mr. LITERATE","@Javedakhtarjadu - you are roaming around being #JolllyLLB, where were you when anti-national slogans were sung in #JNU, Mr. LITERATE"
"saale, ro leta toh achha hota na?","man, it would have been good if you would have cried?"
kiya hi nahi toh link kaise hoga?,how can it linked when haven't done?
.@BUnlimted bhai tumhe 75 saal ki aunty ko troll karna shobhaa de-ta hai kya ? @DeShobhaa,.@BUnlimted does it suits you to troll 75 years old aunty? @DeShobhaa
jab dusri team khel rhi hoti h toh main dusre channel par lga leta hu tabi wicket gir jata h ....,"when the other team is playing, i change the channel and that's when they took wicket"
"@umakantsingh_in BJP ki bahaar hi layegi Bihar me bahaar
 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar","@umakantsingh_in BJP will bring joy in bihar
 #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar"
"Sun ""Vishwas kal se koi bhi injure ""hua chot lagi ya khoon ""nikla blame Demonitization pe ""nai pe daalna hai.","listen Vishwas, from tomorrow if anyone gets injure or blood comes out then ""blame Demonitization ""barber."
@Huss_Master Teri skeleton ka bhi koi chance nahi hai bittu 😂,@Huss_Master there is no chance with your skeleton bittu.
Mandal Aabhari https://twitter.com/deeppotter/status/894230767781330946 …,Mandal Aabhari https://twitter.com/deeppotter/status/894230767781330946
fran says paterno was very congenial to the media in his early years .age &amp, perhaps betrayal by media may be part of his rift with media .
"i always cry wen i listen to avril singing tomorrow in dublin , i just remember everything bad happened to me :/","i always cry when i listen to avril singing tomorrow in dublin , i just remember everything bad happened to me ."
Sabhi log free WiFi kar rahe he Abhi usme bhi quota hoga kuch dino http://t.co/Mn6AVQPIFt unlimited obc 1gb general 100mb #RailBudget2015,"everyone is saying free wifi, there will be quota in this too http://t.co/Mn6AVQPIFt unlimited obc 1gb general 100mb #RailBudget2015"
@ttrinadasgupta kids these days have hajjaar nakhras. @ttrinadasgupta,@ttrinadasgupta kids these days have thousands of excuses. @ttrinadasgupta
RT @I_Love_U_SRK : @iamSRKFanLJ mai bahut accha hu .. dont u worry ,) Aankhon mein kuchh aansu hain kuchh sapne hain Aansu aur sapne donon …
@anilgupta5113 @TarekFatah @htTweets 20 million ghuse pade hain ... diplomacy karte rahe to jeena haram ho jayega hamara,"he got @anilgupta5113 @TarekFatah @htTweets 20 million punches , if we kept on doing diploma then our lives will be hard"
Hello @NSaina ji.. Ek ladki shaadi ke liye maan nahi rahi.. Aap meri taraf se usko bol ke dekho na.. Aapki baat to sab maante hai.. Pls pls,"Hello @NSaina, there is a girl who is not agreeing to get married, please try to convince her on behalf of me, everyone listens to you, please"
"@techie_smart @autumnrainwish thoda chill lena chahiye, tune bhi.","@techie_smart @autumnrainwish you should have chilled too, tune bhi."
. @NewsBytesApp @DrKumarVishwas Ye aapke shayari ne logon ke dimaag ka jo balatkar kiya hai ye uske liye hai kya?,". @NewsBytesApp @DrKumarVishwas the poem that you wrote that brainwashed so many people, is it because of him?"
beti k exam k liye 80000 hajar rupey me banglow rent pe liya ... kya ye delhi ki janta k sath dhuka nahi he ???,"ranted a banglow for 80000 ruppees for daughter's exams, isn't it a deceive for people of delhi?"
"NaMo to Bihar : Mitron "" aaj raat 8 bje se tejaswi ( ₹ 1000 ) & tejP ( ₹ 500 ) valid nahi rahenge 0 #notebandi #NitishGharWapsi","NaMo to Bihar : friends, "" from tonight 8 pm tejaswi ( 1000's notes) and tejP (500 notes) won't be considered valid#notebandi #NitishGharWapsi"
bina dekhe main aise comments nahi karta.,i don't comment like this without seeing.
kaha ho...ji salman ab to kuch bolo na,"where are you, salman? please speak something."
"Salary chanda wali, shaukh nawab wale.",earning very few and hobby of kings
@UniqueIdiot_ haraami hai saale kaamchor @lovejihadi,@UniqueIdiot_ haraami they are lazy @lovejihadi
MCBC BBC Hindi . Faqra Hai .. https://t.co/yOgUDO6CqN,MCBC BBC Hindi . it's a sentence https://t.co/yOgUDO6CqN
@ChulbuliImli dekho @MeetUunngLee tumhari ek aur fan.,"@ChulbuliImli see, @MeetUunngLee one more fan of yours"
"talking of bond &amp; skyfall ,variety ,the children's charity is holding the premiere on nov 7th at sylvia park .tickets @ http/URL","talking of bond and skyfall ,variety ,the children's charity is holding the premiere on nov 7th at sylvia park .tickets"
@ExSecular duniya mere peeche.. Mein Doraemon ke peeche @firstpost,"@ExSecular the world behind me, and i'm behind doraemon @firstpost"
got #revenge on the mind ?niners host giants in nfc championship rematch tomorrow !score last minute tix here: http/URL,got #revenge on the mind ?niners host giants in nfc championship rematch tomorrow !score last minute six here: http/URL
i think every friday im going to tweet: yay degrassi tonight .#getusedtoit,"i think every friday i'm going to tweet: nice, degrassi tonight .#getusedtoit"
"yaar, kuch bhi?",will you say anything?
Ok tjeek hai nhi aanahai to bta to.do sir,"ok, if you don't want to come please inform us"
Damn thm invisible ninjas cuttin onions..,Damn the invisible ninjas cutting onions.
@doubtinggaurav level badhao.. kam se kam 400%.. Kejriwal se seekho,"@doubtinggaurav improve your level, only care about your work 400%, learn it from kejriwal"
Bachche bade ho gaye hai.. Parthiv nahi.. ,)
@friendlii_ghost aa shu chhe bhai? Kai samaj na padi,@friendlii_ghost what's this brother? i don't understand
kayeh tiger khan bolu..?,why should i call you tiger khan?
@nainkatary aadhi shakal hi aisi hai tumhari,@nainkatary half of your face is just like this
"Friday Faking Release: Ghayal (*ing Shashak Manohar, Rajiv Shukla, Anurag Thakur ) http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2016/04/friday-faking-release-ghayal-ing-shashak-manohar-rajiv-shukla-anurag-thakur/ … #Re","Friday Faking Release: Ghayal (*ing ruler Manohar, Rajiv Shukla, Anurag Thakur ) http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2016/04/friday-faking-release-ghayal-ing-shashak-manohar-rajiv-shukla-anurag-thakur #Re"
@miss_cherished Jab pyaar kiya to darna kya.Pyaar kiya koi chori nahi ki.. Chup chup aahen bharna kya.. Jab pyaar..,"@miss_cherished why to worry if you loved. loved not steal from anyone, why should stay silence, when love."
hindi me maa bahan ki galiya deti hai. Padhi likhi gawar hai.,speaks abusive words of mother-sister in hindi. she is educated third-class person.
aur ye udnilav ka chips ka packet seedhe luncher paji k hath me... ,)
"i'm in the bathroom bumping"" niggas in paris ""crunk ass hell like it's my 1st time hearing it this song will never get old lol","i'm in the bathroom bumping"" people in paris ""crunk ass hell like it's my 1st time hearing it this song will never get old"
kya yaar! aaja shaam hone aayi mausam ne li angdaai! to kiss baat ki hai Ladai...............:p whre r uh?,"what dude! it's about to get dark weather is ready to take sleep! then why are you fighting, where are you?"
"Kabhi kisi ko mukkamal jahan nahi milta...
 Kahin brozone aur kahin love you as a friend sirf milta.","no one ever gets everything.
you only get sometimes brozone or love you as a friend"
matlab kisi bhi cheez par khush hokar khud hi hasne ka? Sleep you are sleepy.,does it mean to laugh over a thing?sleep you are sleepy
@stephan_dsza :'( apna school ke paas hi shoot kiya,@stephan_dsza shooted near our school
"@Alllahdin aajkal sabkuch fake hogaya hai, kabhi kabhi khudke existence par bhi doubt hota hai, sach ki life hai ya parody :'(","@Alllahdin aajkal eery things have become fake, somethimes i even doubt on my own's existance, is it true or parody?"
"""Kamre"" mein bandh ho bola tha, bakwaas ke logic na use karo","you said you were locked in a room, don't use rubbish logic"
Ghar chale jao abhi vapas #bangldesh 0 Totally 1 sided series it is 0 Dekhke maza nhi aara hai #vijay #pujara @imVkohli gt a 200 again #IndvBan,go back home #bangldesh .it is totally one sided series. i don't like watching it #vijay #pujara @imVkohli got a 200 again #IndvBan
RT @iamsrk : Kya baat hai ... Haryana ka Sher aa gaya ... Sultan Bhaijaan https://t.co/PB8JynGyKf,"RT @iamsrk : great, lion of Haryana have come, Sultan Bhaijaan https://t.co/PB8JynGyKf"
"guddu world cup khatam na ho jaye tab tak tu bahar mat jana ....,","don't go outside guddu, untilthe world cup is over"
"Misbah-ul-haq wants to make love.
 Sings, ""Misbahon ke darmiyan, do pyar mil rahe hain...""","Misbah-ul-haq wants to make love.
Sings, ""Misbahon's darmiyan, getting two love"""
"lol lol, ye maine nahi sikhaya hai unhe",i didn't tought them that.
The Morning Wrap : Kanhaiya Calls Smriti Irani ' Anti-Rational ' , Twinkle Khanna Gets Trolled https://t.co/nHMATpOwtk https://t.co/doYJqW3G2Y
"@arshikyy accha hain match boys ki hain , girls ki hoti to sari girls Parth ko @LaghateParth dekhti or out ho jati 😜😜","@arshikyy it is ggod that it's boys match, if it would be a girls match, all girls would be keep staring at parth @LaghateParth, and would have lose"
"Pakistani girl :- ""Mujhe ghar drop kar doge?"" 
 Pakistani Cricketer :- ""Drop karna toh meri khaasiyat hai"" #INDvPAK","Pakistani girl :- ""will you drop me ai house?"" 
 Pakistani Cricketer :- ""i'm good at dropping."" #INDvPAK"
@Atheist_Krishna LOL.. mujhe bhi laga ki ise samaj ni aaya .. hahahaa @miss_cherished,@Atheist_Krishna i also thought that he didn't understand @miss_cherished
@awk_doc tanki pe.. Mujhe hug karte hue@iamGunjanGrunge,@awk_doc while hugging me over the tank @iamGunjanGrunge
Vote ke liyen aap kuch bhi kahenge ?,would you say anything for vote?
my every year's story :|,my every year's story.
Juz in last 5 mints... 5000 comments and 10000 likes.. Itz juz awsum,"Juz in last 5 minutes, 5000 comments and 10000 likes, it's just awesome"
"Maangne se bheek milti hai, pyar nahi.","if you ask you will get begging, not love"
"ISIS wants to wipe out hindus. Kyu load le rahe ho, yeh kaam to liberals kar hi rahe hai.","ISIS wants to wipe out hindus. no need to try so hard, liberals are already doing this job."
"@taran_adarsh to kya ho gaya sir. 4 star to de dete, picture bad me bhi dekh lete","@taran_adarsh what's wrong with that sir. at least should have given 4 star, would have seen the picture later"
"Aajkal ke bachche, nikalte baad me hai social media par pehle aate haipic.twitter.com/MwG1eqxz4F","todays kids, they come out later, first they come on social media picture : twitter.com/MwG1eqxz4F"
victor cruz is happy about his contract negotiations with the giants .tuesday on his weekl http/URL,victor cruz is happy about his contract negotiations with the giants .tuesday on his week
Zor se emo aai hai.,she has come out loud
"wisin &amp; yandel record song with ricky martin ,jlotimes of indiathe reggaeton duo wisin &amp; yandel announced monday ...http/URL","wisin and yandel record song with ricky martin, the times of india the reggaeton duo wisin and yandel announced monday "
phle to bht udd rha tha na....ab bhugat !,"before, you were flying right?, now face the results"
hahaha guddu mein imraan hashmi ke spirit ne pravesh kar liya hai ...:d :d,imraan hashmi's spirit inserted inside guddu
Subeh Subeh Sushma Swaraj ko utha diya aur le bhi nahi ja raheis she crying in the video?https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/664629576866250752 …,"early morning, they took sushma swaraj and not taking her. is she crying in the video? https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/664629576866250752"
@Alllahdin mujhe gussa aaraha hai,@Alllahdin i am getting angry
"@lalit04119 Bhagwan bitiya ko shakti den, hamesha khush rahe @narendramodi","@lalit04119 god, please give strength to my daughter, always stay happy @narendramodi"
orr sala inka wo circus tooi ... tooi .. tooi bakwaaas,"and also their circus, too rubbish"
"Bhai aap log chahte ho to fir se election karva dete hai, mere pichhe kyu pade ho?","if you want, we can do the elections again, why are you not leaving me alone?"
@miss_cherished Car drive karte hure phone pe baat karne ka @PAYBACKIndia #PointKyaHai Point Kya Hai,@miss_cherished what's the point of talking in phone while driving car @PAYBACKIndia #PointKyaHai
good guddu sahi ja rha h .  ladka tarki me hai ,) :)
@ChickenBiryanii haan haan kyu nahi.. Mayanti ko bhi lekar aana.. Shayad murde me jaan aa jaaye ,) @Atheist_Krishna
@Champ_Nikk Tera dukh sirf Sunny Leone samaj sakti hai ,)
Are sir aj apke liye 4g internet pk dalwaya hai..ab aa bhi jao.. ,)
@HathwalaThakur Aaj poonam pandey aayee thi Thakur.. tera pooch rahi thi ,) @Being_Humor
Srilanka won because of #NaMo in their National Anthem . #SLvsInd #IndvSL #wt20final #BJPManifesto Ab ki Baar ...... ,)
@nickhunterr arre ye sab to bas isliye ki do waqt ki RTs mil jaaye aur kya ,) @BadnaamEng
@iamGunjanGrunge Baat to sahi hai .. Koi Amitabh sir ko bhi FF nahi deta ,) @Ra_Bies @Roflindian
@subhadra_72 Var vadu ko aashirwaad de ,) @SunnyLeone
jab jaroort hoti h talent tabhi nikalta h .  .  .  .  ,-)
ye kejriwal bda hoshiyar .  .  .  .  apne hi jaal me fasat jaat .  .  .  ,-)
@Sinceere_Angel Maam agar mein khana banaunga to kya meri hone wali biwi ghar chalaegi ? ,)
"""yeh ho chuka hai""",it is done
@mrjagjit thanks jagjit. Tera hi wait kar raha tha.,@mrjagjit thanks jagjit. i was waiting for you only.
dost hai Jalabpuriya.. wohi bhejta rehta hai,jalabpuriya is a friend. He keeps sending
"This monsoon India has received 18% more rains then normal. Hum To Sadharan Manushya ""Hai #Indra Dev Bhi 18% #GST Bhar Rahe Hain.",this monsoon India has survived 18% more rains then normal. we are ordinary people #Indra dev is also filling 18% #GST
"@MeetUunngLee aagaya hai 1, two to go! ","@MeetUunngLee has come 1, two to go!"
kya movie yaad dilaya aur gaana! Bas aaj raat stream kar ke dekhunga jaadugar!,what a movie you reminded me and the song! will just watch the magician live stream tonight!
"faisal bhai ,  chhatri leke koi gag banao na . ","brother Faisal, do make any gag with umbrella."
"admin u r so down to earth ,  all in our gags have100% resemblance with ma childhood .  i belong to middle class family .  u made ma day dear .  god bless you  ! ","admin you are so down to earth ,all in our gags have100% resemblance with my childhood. i belong to middle class family. you made ma day dear. god bless you!"
Pakistan can't get over with these K words. Pehle Kashmir hi tha ab Kohli bhi ad ho gaya.,"pakistan can't get over with these k-words. Earlier there was kashmir, now kohli also got added."
"*when sanjay dutt first went to jail*
Arshad Warsi:  Bhai yeh room toh ... shuru hote hi khatam ho gaya.","when sanjay dutt first went to jail 
 
 arshad Warsi: brother, this room is over as soon as it starts."
"@Oinkoo Hahaha pitaai karega wo hamaari, wo bheem hai","@Oinkoo hahaha, he will beat us, he is mighty bheem"
@Champ_Nikk Vishwas sheeshe ki tarah hota hai #NitishKaAgentPratyayaAmrit,@Champ_Nikk vishwas is like a mirror #NitishKaAgentPratyayaAmrit
@aamir_khan Mauke pr Chauka lga diya .. Well Played :) #MenInBlue #MaukaMauka #IndvsSA,@aamir_khan played well at the right moment. well played #MenInBlue #MaukaMauka #IndvsSA
Aise bhasha mein kya samjhe koi?,what should anyone understand in such a language?
@Integrated_me mujhe to aap abhi bhi 18 ki lagti hai,@Integrated_ me still think you are 18
Ganga chali tu kahan humein chhod ke? :'(https://twitter.com/ishafoundation/status/889877917462925317 …,"ganges, where do you leave us? http://twitter.com/ishfoundation/states/889877917462925317"
"@bhaturigirl yaar chole bhature, aisi batao jo na dekhi ho ","@bhaturigirl brother, chhole bhature, tell me what you haven't seen"
oh haan.. Gobar to isse bhi pavitr hai @RanaAyyub,oh yes .. cow dung is even more sacred than that @RanaAyyub
@The_Sleigher mera bhi mera bhi mera bhi,@The_slagahar mine too mine too mine too
@SocialBitterfly tune kal rt nahi kiya to aaj phone badalna pada  @TheInsaneSane,"@SocialBitterfly if you didn't do right yesterday, then would have to change the phone today @TheInsaneSane"
"BJP Presents Proof Of PM's Degrees , Demands Apology From Kejriwal : Senior Bharatiya Janata Party ( BJP ) leader ... https://t.co/jcayIlmZZG","bjp presents proof of pm's degrees , demands apology from kejriwal : senior bharatiya janata party bjp leader ... https://t.co/jcayIlmZZG"
Duniya ka network bhale he 3G ya 4G se chalta ho Par hamara toh ShivG se chalta hai . #MahaShivratri # Lord shiva,"worlds network may run in 3g or 4g, ours run with shivg #mahashivratri # Lord shiva"
#Manhattan #NewYorkCity #NewYork #Trump #USA,#Manhattan #NewYorkcity #NewYork #Trump #Usa
"@perky_girl16 Ye nahi hota, tumhara case thoda psychotic lagta hai","@perrky_girl16 this doesn't happen, your case seems a bit psychotic"
@Fussy_Ca Iron man ke paas paisa technology ladki sab hai,"@Fussi_Ca Iron Man has money, technology, girl everything."
"ben said bicester was full of chavs ,  well i'm currently sat with last years cast of jeremy kyle .  uh hypocritical much ? ","ben said bicester was full of chavs ,well i'm currently sat with last years cast of jeremy kyle .you hypocritical much ?"
@Rudramukhi mein to pyaar ki baat kar raha tha ,)
@DumbbellsnDrama bhaago. Tunhari subah hogayi aur meri raat. Zzzzz... Night night,Run @DumbbellsnDrama. You will be morning and my night. night night
yeh ho chuka haihttps://twitter.com/Dorkstar/status/806694040074743808 …,this is done https://twitter.com/Dorkstar/status/806694040074743808
#drewpeterson are you missing drew peterson yet ?  lifetime is re-airing the movie this sunday .  it stars *gasp* rob lowe as peterson,#drewpeterson are you missing drew peterson yet ?lifetime is re-airing the movie this sunday .it stars rob lowe as peterson
teri movie flop ho jaye....,your movie may become flopped
"Bihar ke lal.. Kar rahe apni matrbhoomi ka naam nihaal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwovF2NSDkg … … …

#NitishLaluSting","lal of bihar. is naming his motherland 
http: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwf2 sample
#NitishLaluSting""
"
@prasanto @DarrKeAage @SriSri @msdhoni abhi abhi cricket dekhna suru kiya hai ! Ya kabhi dekha nahi ! Get involved . Be the reason for win .,@prasanto @DarrKeAage @SriSri @msdhoni has just started watching cricket! or never seen! get involved. be the reason for win.
"Aisa mat bol bhai.. India bhi WC apne hi desh me jeeti thi

RT @NaughtyDew_: Australia, Apna Gaali Mein Kutta Bhi Sher Hota Hai","don't say so brother .. india too won the worldcup in its own country
@NaughtyDew_ australia, a dog in your street is also a lion"
"the boys will do promo in sweden today (november 2nd) and they will perform on sweden xf tonight ,  live stream here http/URL","the boys will do promo in sweden today (november 2nd) and they will perform on sweden tonight ,live stream here"
"gulaabi ,  hare aur neele rang ke packet mein boondi ke laddu :) :p","bundi ladoos in pink, green and blue packets"
@SritikaDhar ye sense nahi bana,@SritikaDhar this doesn't make sense
Zyada gira hua kaun hai ?,who is more fallen?
ye  @KyaUkhaadLega Gurgaon mein nahi ye flight mein rehta hai. Zaroor milkar daaru session karte hai.,"this @KyaUkhaadLega lives in gurgaon, he's is flight. sure, let us have a session of drinks"
Iss mein Modiji ka haath hai jihttps://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/803502373180088321 …,modi is behind this https://twitter.com/ArvindKejriwal/status/803502373180088321 
india ka match ho aur totke na ho to fir maja hi kya .  .  .,"
If India has a match and there are no tricks, then what is fun? "
"@Atheist_Krishna tune toh shaadi mein bulaya bhi nahi apni, woh toh main khud hi aagaya aur photo nikaal li.","@Atheist_Krishna, you have not even called me to the wedding, I came there myself and took the  photo."
@ek_samosa_dena yaar woj utaarne wali cheez hai pehen ne wali nahi,"@ek_samosa_dena it is a thing not be weared
"
"@bizzarebhide ♫ Lumbar mere, kab tak mujhe, aise hi tadpaoge ... ♫","@bizzarebhide my Lumbar, till when would you make me struggle? "
"@napster_004 dab chinaali mein ghusa huwe hai bhai, kab tak jhelenge?","@napster_004 dab entered into chinali, brother, how long will it last?"
Ab GST ke chakkar mein sabke restaurants aur cafes ke bill dekho. Aur bhook lag rahi hai. #GST #GSTEraBegins,now look at all the restaurants and cafes bills because of gst. and feeling hungry. #GST #GSTerabegins
Prem Rotten Naan Khayo #FoodPoisoning,prem ate rotten naan #FoodPoisoning
yeh karke anna ne saabith kiya ke woh fascist nahi hai .  .  .  .  .,"by doing this, anna proved that he is not a fascist. . . . ."
#TripleTalaq jo isko support kar rahe hai wo 1 bar ladki jarur bane.taqi pata to chale kysa lgta hai. Shame!,"#TrippleTalaq who are supporting this, they should definitely become a girl 1 time so that you know how it feels. shame!"
Kuch bhi ho match finish toh #msd hi krega Itna hi time pass karna tha toh Sir #Jadeja ko kyon pareshaan kiye .. #rahane ko hi lefty batting karne bol dete .. #INDvsAUS,"for any circumstance, match would be finished by #msd if you wanted to waste time then why to trouble #Jadeja #rahane should have been told to do left batting.. #INDvsAUS"
bhai ye naam udbilaoo kaha se sucha :d jabardasth hai  !  !  bhai ye naam tumhare dimag me first time kaise ayaaa iske piche ka secret btaooo !,"brother where did you get this name, udibaloo, it's awesome. how did you get this name in the first place
"
RT @skjbolly : whatever I do Ill maintain the dignity of my part as Mahadev : #MohitRaina #devonkedevmahadev http://t.co/QDSWmHBOQB,reply to @skjbolly whatever I do Ill maintain the dignity of my part as Mahadev #MohitRaina #devonkedevmahadev http://t.co/QDSWmHBOQB
@MeetUunngLee Zamana badal gaya hai aur tu bhi,@MeetUunngLee generation has changed and you also
"kaya huya, kaha hai app,hum logo ko murga to nehe banareha hai?",what happened where are you you are making fool of us?
@Funjabi_ abe ye nahi.. Ye @Miss_Ankiita to meri jaan hai,@Funjabi_ abe  not her  She @Miss_Ankiita is my love
@GabbbarSingh Talent bahut tha but woh level ka ambition nahi tha. Cant blame him. Jahan se aaya tha wahi bada lamba safar tha.,"he had talent, but didn't have ambition. can't blame him. he had a long journey
"
"#GuessTheSong
Ye dil gareeb sahi....","#GuessTheSong
let this heart be poor"
Ye kaisa control hai Babu Bhaiya?,what is this control babu bhaiya?
@witchybitchygal Sir.. Aap jitna Pootna aur Purba se pyaar karte ho usse to kam hi karta hu ,)
"Main bhi soch raha hu, awaaz to Hai nahi magar hair style or mooch copy kar lu.Thodu krupa yahan par bhi hogi.",i was thinking i didn't have a voice but let me copy the hairstyle and mustache. i will get some blessings
hello Kya main mr. salman khan se baat kar sakta hoon??,hello can i speak to salman khan?
lanat he .  .  . is baba ko bharat se bhagao .  .  .  .,"pity, make this baba go out of country"
@sejaljobanputra paisa bolta hai,@sejaljobanputra money speaks
Ek aur https://twitter.com/Paid_Journalist/status/811605092298326016 …,one more https://twitter.com/Paid_Journalist/status/811605092298326016
Khi BAJRANGI BHAIJAAN KIDNAPDED toh nhi gye! Ab toh12july ko hi pta chalega.,is bajrangi bhaijan kidnapped? now we will get to know on 12th july 
"Nation is thankful to ModiJi , ke unhone vansh agey na badaney ki sochi .. bahut doordarshi hain hain .. 😂😂😂 https://t.co/LsfHDrE4CP","nation is thankful to modiji,  "
monday night football at #ciscos .  . win a chance at going to hawaii for the pro bowl  !  !  !  happy hour all night http/URL,monday night football at #ciscos .  win a chance at going to hawaii for the pro bowl! happy hour all night
"@aanchalator Han. Jab bhi Pune me 6 baje mujhe bata dena, main yaha Jaipur me dekhna shuru kar dunga.","@aanchalator yeah, when 6 strikes at pune,  just tell me, i will start looking here in  jaipur"
@Ra_Bies Sir dikhawe pe na jao..  @witchybitchygal,@Ra_Bies Sir don't fall for outerlooks  @witchybitchygal
RT @indianortheast : Three States of North East India lead the table in providing rural jobs in India . Tripura retained its top ... https://t,reply to @indianortheast  three states of north east india lead the table in providing rural jobs in India . tripura retained its top .
beta ruko yaha 1-2 saal.. sab hoga,"son,stay here for 12 years, everything will happen"
Pooch pooch hota haihttps://twitter.com/IndiaToday/status/756039829876379649 …,tail is tail https://twitter.com/IndiaToday/status/756039829876379649
"ye do takiye galat lagata hai ,  ek sidha ek upar rakh .  .  .  phir mummy ki daat ,  sari rui tod de tu in takiyo ki :-p","he put pillows in wrong way, put one on top of other and then listen to your mom's scold for degrading cottons of pillows"
#Harward pe bharosa nahi hai to #Trump & Company k talue chatna band kar dijiye ! !!!, if you dont trust #Harward then #Trump & company stop following them!
@enlightenedme_ haan kyunki tumhara pehle toh kabhi kabhi gam tha ab toh har pal hi rehta hai.,"@enlightenedme_ yeah, it's because earlier you used to be worried sometimes and now you are worried all the time"
hahah nas kaat ke dikhani padegi ab (kisi aur ki),now i have to cut the nerves (someone else's)
@imAnandChavan Dar ke aage Jeet hai  Satyendra Verma has proved it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tybez0kwACg … … #NaamBanteHainRiskSe @MountainDewIn,"@imAnandChavan success overcomes fear, satyendra verma has proved it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tybez0kwACg … … #NaamBanteHainRiskSe @MountainDewIn"
acting and nautankiyaaying me bohot bada difference hai .  :p,there is a huge difference between actual acting and just mocking
"@indiantweeter haan bhai, sab le le tu","@indiantweeter yes brother, just take everything from us"
@iamlakshmirai ohmm namashivaya #MahaShivratri wishes :( sister,@iamlakshmirai om namasivaya #MahaShivratri wishes sister
"Bhai #kohli yar phir se runout mat karwa diyo #RohitSharma ko Australia ke players ko laga kar thikane "" Rahane ke khel me dikha he cricket ka bhagwan","brother #kohli, don't make #RohitSharma runout. make australia lose the game. rahane's game made him god of cricket"
test will be negetive smarty  .  .  .  .  .  best of luck :),test will be negative smarty. best of luck 
@Rizwan1149 bahut acchi kavita .. ati sundar ( aage se dhyaan rakhiye - only two lines for CaptionThisPic ) @romeomustlivee,"@Rizwan1149 very goodpoem, it's beautiful  (keep in mind for next time- onely two lines to caption the picture) @romeomustlivee"
"He: Laal pari maidaan khadi.. kya khoob ladi...

She: Arre woh Kanpur ka fielder hai.. Gutkha dabaye hua hai","He: red angel standing on the ground. what a fight she had

She: hey, that is kanpur's fielder. gutka is pressed"
"Mujhe chhod do mere haal pe, whiskey hai yaar kaafi hai.","leave me alone,  whiskey is fine for me"
mein to chalk kha jati thi :-p :-d,i used to eat chalk
bjp ke saare bade leaders jo rellies kr rahe hai frq to aaya hai .  .  .,all leader in bjp are realizing the change happening 
Gurdeep Singh khushi se phule nahi samaaye.pic.twitter.com/MZrSabJjQ2,gurdeep singh seems to be very happy pic.twitter.com/MZrSabJjQ2
"Ye #AntiRomeoSquads minorities pe #SurgicalStrike hai "" saare mardana kamzori k treatment waale Hakim Muslim hai@kauserseema @alamgirizvi","this #AntiRomeoSquads are #SurgicalStrike for minorities, all those who are having treatment for weakness are muslim @kauserseema @alamgirizvi"
"@Dishasatra bakwaas, ek bhi missed call nahi hai.",@Dishasatra there is no call
"hmare school me english speaking campus tha .  ek baar hindi ke teacher gussa ho gaye break k time aur dhaare: you boy ,  go on the sun (dhoop me khada hone ko keh rhe the)","our school was english speaking campus, one day our hindi teacher got angryand said- you boy, go on the sun"
@huh_watnow baki tere pyaar ka nasha hai,@huh_watnow rest is your love's miracle
RT @Calcutta_Times : Woohoo ! Srabanti getting engaged in a month ! Congratulations : * https://t.co/bD8pYCkRO8 @srabantismile @krishanvraj htt,reply to @Calcutta_Times woohoo! srabanti getting engaged in a month! congratulations https://t.co/bD8pYCkRO8 @srabantismile @krishanvraj htt
@ashutosh83B Sir Delhi election to choti cheez hai.. Kejriwal agar US prez ke liye bhi khade ho jaaye to jeet jaenge.. #AAPtard4Lyf,"@ashutosh83B sir, delhi's election is a small one. kejriwal would even win if he stands for position of us president #AAPtard4Lyf"
kaha gaya ho bahi itne dino se  .  .  .  world cup chal raha hai aur app shant ho,"where were you brother for many days. here, world cup is going on and you are quiet"
.@KapilSharmaK9 unkeel kabhi to achhe jokes maaro.,".@KapilSharmaK9 uncle, make good jokes sometime"
@aanchalator mahangi ho gayi hogi,@aanchalator should have become coslty
superb .  .  .  this one is truly hatke style .  .  .  .  ,) contra ki 2nd stage .  .  .  islander ke ande .  .  :p
"@Atheist_Krishna I am not celeb aur haan

JISNE KI SHARAM.. USKE PHOOTE KARAM !! ;)

@iamGunjanGrunge","@Atheist_Krishna I am not celeb and yeah

the one with shame has bad deeds

@iamGunjanGrunge"
@huh_watnow aaj ye try karopic.twitter.com/XD7C1qFgfR,@huh_watnow try this topic today twitter.com/XD7C1qFgfR
@bhaiyyajispeaks waah chaa gaye @GautamGambhir @Gyaltson16,"@bhaiyyajispeaks nice, you are shining @GautamGambhir @Gyaltson16"
"shaam ko message kiya tha. Pyar dekho, Sharab nahi. Uff.",sent you a message in the evening. seek love not alcohol
RT @iCuree : Araam se boys tasalli se kaam lena hai,"RT @iCuree : cool boys, we have to do work with patience"
@hydbadshah pahle bola hota to kar deta,"@hydbadshah if you would have told me earlier, I would have done that"
Kya aapne kabhi online budhdhe students search kiya ? #JNU,did you search for old children on the internet sometime? #JNU
@OldMathsy wahan showroom koi bhi ho. Bola usko hero honda ka hi jaata hai,@OldMathsy a showroom would also be there.  
aap gag kaise bana rahe ho tv chorkar :o,how are you making gag after leaving tv?
@azure_thread Toh Shweta ko kya kehte hai?,@azure_thread so what do you call a shweta?
@LeftArmOver_ abhi samajh aya 'left' arm over ka matlab,@LeftArmOver_ now you must have understood the meaning of left arm.
three months me #GST aa rha hai Tab jamke badhega Abhi election time pe logo ko kyu naraj Karenge..,"in three months #GST is coming, then it will increase tremendously. now, why they will make people worry during elections."
kuch bhi ho sakta hai :),anything can happen 
@Sharanyashettyy lagta hai hum pehle mile hai yaar #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar,@sharanyashetriya looks like we have met before #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar
har game ke 500 version hote the :’),Each game had 500 versions: 
"got a great piece for you history buffs friday morning ,  a game between schalke &amp; bayern that marked the end of germany's greatest ever side . ","got a great piece for you history buffs this friday morning, its was a game between schalke and amp, bayern that marked the end of germany's greatest ever side. "
Prashant Bhushan and Yogendra Yadav ask Kejriwal which color to use on Holihttp://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/03/after-ouster-from-pac-prashant-bhushan-and-yogendra-yadav-to-ask-kejriwal-which-color-to-use-on-holi/ …,prashant bhushan and yogendra yadav ask kejriwal which color to use on Holi http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/03/after-ouster-from-pac-prashant-bhushan-and-yogendra-yadav-to-ask-kejriwal-which-color-to-use-on-holi/
.@ashutosh83B kal to tujhe jalaya.. Tu aaj phir zinda ho gaya,"@ashutosh83B yesterday you were burnt, now again you got born"
@ArvindKejriwal ji Yamuna Shatluj link kewal punjab ka mamala nahin hain .. Punjab Haryana Delhi Rajasthan four states are linked !!,"@ArvindKejriwal yamuna, satluj is nt only linked in punjnab. it is linked in four states punjab, haryana, delhi, rajasthan."
"faisal bhaiya  ,  ye bharva bhindi ko english main kya bolte  .  .  .  . hahahahah  ,  mujhe to iske aage ki story sonch sonnch kar hansi a rahi  .  .  .  .  . :) :)",faial brother waht do you call bharva bhindi in english? i am now laughinf by thoughts of  the upcoming story.
"Reporter: Akhilesh ji party ke baare mein aapka kya khayal hai? Kya hoga?
Akhilesh: 2 botal Royal Stag mangayi hai new year party set hai.","reporter: akhilesh, what are your thoughts for the party? what will  happen?
akhilesh: just brought two botel royal stag for the new year party."
Pahle 3:30 phir 4:00 and ab 15 min over bhai,earlier 3:30 then 4:00 and now 15 minutes over brother
@Ra_Bies assi teh chhote mote ----- haan,@Ra_Bies we are small people
@drpoonam iphone 6s mujhe bhej dena,@drpoonam send me an iphone 6s
phir aap koi bhi mobile number free recharge kar sakte hai .  .,then you can do a free recharge on any mobile number 
Ye wala Pandya thik hai.,this pandya is okay
toss jita ab match ki bari hai .. goindiago #IndVPak,"won the toss, now it is time to win the game. go india #IndVPak"
"@someUSER hi !  yeah me too ;d and yes ,  i'm from poland and i'm 16 .  i'll see new episode in the friday evening .  can't wait tomorrow ;3","@someUSER hi ,  yeah me too  and yes,  i am from poland and i am 16.  i will see new episode in the friday evening . i can't wait tomorrow."
kick-off your weekend with service !  ev ! 's get on the bus trip to the boys &amp, girls club is friday from 3-6 !  hope to see you there :)
negativity ke dukaan ki toh shutter khol di aapne _/\_,you have opened shutter of negativity's bride
LOL ye to galat desh me hai @Ra_Bies @angryoungwoman,"lol, he is in the wring country @Ra_Bies @angryoungwoman"
sharmaji ke launday ki dhunayi bahut achi hai .  .  .  :),sharma's son's world is awesome
Arre yaar @MeetUunngLee tere aur mere siwa kaun jaaga hai yaha?,"hey man, @MeetUunngLee except you and me, who all are awake now?"
"@witchybitchygal Bangladeshi's be like ""kitna deti hai..""","@witchybitchygal bangladeshisbe like, how much does it give?"
Bhai sarkaar tumhari hai. Kuch to dum dikhao #SoniaAmmaKeAageModiNikamma,"brother the government is your's, do something #SoniaAmmaKeAageModiNikamma"
अबे pehle se liya hua karza.. like bank ka.. wapas kardo @arunjaitley @narendramodi,"hey the money you borrowed like from the bank, return it @arunjaitley @narendramodi"
mai salmaan bhai ka baho.......t... bada fan hoon ...,i am a big fan of salman brother
#surgicalstrike ka hal dek kar tho ab indian army nay b haat karay kar dye keh ab bas . kaheen koi saboot na mang ly .,"after seeing #surgicalstrike, indian army also lifted the hands"
ye pschyo kbhi winner nahi hota agr salman & farah ka haath na hota .,this psycho would never have been the winner if salman and farah were not behind this
@Madan_Chikna abe DM chhod kal Mumbai aa raha hu..,"@Madan_Chikna hey leave the direct message, i am coming to mumbai tomorrow."
"@HITKPKD kisi bhi bill me chup jaa, ghus ke marunga, because i am Lal HIT.....  #LalHITMovies #LalHITMovies","@HITKPKD hide somewhere, will beat you anywhere, because i am red hit. #LalHITMovies #LalHITMovies"
bhookh lagi hai. Chicken khila de,i am hungry. feed me chicken
Khandan ke baare mein hi puchna tha toh sirf Indira kyu @sardesairajdeep? RaGa ka dimaagi ilaaj kab kara rahe ho ye bhi puch leta.,if you wanted to ask about my family why you just asked about indira@sardesairajdeep? you could have also asked about when we are treating raga for mental illness.
"NoteBandi fail Hai ...aisa bola to #Congress "" UP "" UK "" Goa haar baithee","if you are saying that demonitization is a fail #Congress has failed in UP, UK and Goa "
Afridi Khuda ka wasta hai team ka peecha chor dotmhen last over Amir ko daina chahiye na k Irfaan ko .. : @,"for god's sake, afridi leave the team. for the dot ball you should have given last over to amir and not irfaan"
bharva bhindi ko pimp lady's finger kehte hai,bharva bhindi is called pimp lady's finger.
Angrezi mein likha hai.,it is written in  english
Hindustan tere tukde honge #JNU was abhivyakti ki Azadi .. @sonunigam ne bhi abhivyakti ki azadi ka fayda uthya nd now u becoming secular y?,"hindustan, you would be divided into pieces #JNU was enjoying freedom @sonunigam also was enjoying the freedom and now you are becoming secular?"
kis country ka he or iska nam kya he ?,"which country, he is from? and what is his name?"
Tumko aur koi nahi mila matlab?,meaning you didn't get anybody?
@twinitisha my bad. abhi poori tarah se neend nahi khuli,"@twinitisha my bad, i was not completely awake."
@justbeauty18 Abi koi kasaar baqi hy ? :D,@justbeauty18 is anything left?
Beta aapse na ho paega ! patake OLX pe bech do !!!! #IndVsPak,"son you can do nothing, sell the crackers on olx. #IndVsPak"
@BeingSalmanKhan bhai ab aap emotional kar rahe ho. Kuch logo ki wajah se sabko chhod ke chale jaoge !,@BeingSalmanKhan brother you are making us emotional. because of  few people you are just leaving all of us.
really touching and amazing .  .  bachpan ki yaad aa gayi .  .  .,really touching and amazing. reminded me of my childhood.
"@0__1 unka haath, aur unka samaan jo chahe kare","@0__1 their hand and their luggage, it is upto them whatever they do."
@trisha_naik Apsaraye to bade bade rishi muniyo ka dhyaan bhang kar chuki hai,@trisha_naik  Elf  has distracted the great sages.
"Rajdeep, Sagarika, Rana Ayyub, Barkha and Ravishhttps://twitter.com/dhaikilokatweet/status/653972513249169409 …","rajdeep, sagarika, rana ayyub, barkha and ravish https://twitter.com/dhaikilokatweet/status/653972513249169409"
"Mandir ki ghanti , Arti ki thali , Nadi k kinare suraj ki lali , Jindige me aye khushiyo ki bahar , Apko mubarak ho ... https://t.co/uNrDMwGKzN","temple bells, aarti's thali, sun's redness on the banks of the river, a joyous life in Jindigi, congratulations to you https://t.co/uNrDMwGKzN"
"Donald tum aage badho "" Duck ( s ) tumhare saath hai ! #Trump #NorthKoreaNukes","donald you move forward, Ducks are with you #Trump #NorthKoreaNukes"
"""Hum sharif kya huye, puri duniya hi badmaash ban gayi"". Shahrukh Khan, you beauty! Can't wait for this. #DilwaleTrailer","""see what happened when we became descent, the whole world became a crook"". shahrukh khan, you beauty! can't wait for this. #DilwaleTrailer"
Ek baar mene jo commitment ki to fir me apne aap ki bhi nhi sunta! ,-)
"Disgusting, tu aisi baatein karega toh aise kaun apne saath baith kar beer piyega?","disgusting, you will talk like this, so who will sit with you and drink beer?"
@Bhavna22 ye water saving aur swasth dono k liye uttam hai #vedic holi healthy holi,"@Bhavna22 this water is optimum for both saving  and our health #vedic holi ,healthy holi."
"@LoKarDi_RT tum woh ladkiyon mein se ek ho, zyada garv mehsoos karne ki zaroorat nahi hai","@Locardi_rat you are one of those girls, no need to feel more proud"
Rape case 10 sal me solve hota h ... ye padmavati ek din me kaise ho gya solve ... kisko kitna paisa mila ???,rape case is solved in 10 years. how did this padmavati get solved in one day.who all got how much money?
ha ha ha  .  .  .  mast h .  .  .  yhi exact sentence h esse better to ban hi nhi skta .  .  .  .  sabse mast expression guddu ko bahar fekne k tym uske face pe,"hahaha , cool,this is the exact sentence. it cannot be made better. the best expression to throw guddu out on his face"
guddu baut agakaari ho gya hai .  .  .  .  .,gussu is very sincere
"RT @BeingSK_Soul : Whenever I feel alone .. Then I remember one thing "" Jiska koi nahi hota .. Uska khuda hota hai "" .","reply to @BeingSK_Soul : whenever i feel alone .. then i remember one thing "" the one who has no one, has god "" ."
"@retardedwriter hum nahi kha rahe, net par photo mili hai ","@Radapatvadhittar we are not eating, got a photo on the net."
@Ra_Bies kar leti hu Manju.. Jab bhi driver aata hai..,"@ Ra_BS Manju , I will do whenever the driver comes."
"RT @JantaKaReporter : After Yogeshwar , now Milkha Singh demands Salman Khan's removal as Olympics Goodwill ambassador https://t.co/8TuBX2uHE6","reply to @JantaKaReporter : after yogeshwar , now milkha singh demands salman khan's removal as olympics goodwill ambassador https://t.co/8TuBX2uHE6"
@mahisharma1492 Kya baat hai Nice lines,"@mahisharma1492 cool, Nice lines"
@Atheist_Krishna @HathwalaThakur tu kar rahi hai?,@Atheist_Krishna @HathwalaThakur are you doing?
"a beautiful girl  ,  who is my fb-friend since 2011  ,  liked my status today for the first time ever  .  i am very^infinity happy  .  :) :)","a beautiful girl ,  who is my facebook friend since 2011,  liked my status today for the first time ever.  i am very much happy ."
bhai isme to apni phd hai .  .  .,brother we have a phd in this.
4 baj gaye lekin bhai aana abhi baaki hai ,)
"#Trump k byan pay China "" Russia "" Iran  sab bolay par nawaz sharif nai bola Agar waqai aisay hai tu iss se ziada bezti nahi ho sakti #Trump ki","on #Trump 's policy china, russia, iran all said but nawaz sharif said if you are like this you can not be more salacious than this #Trump 's"
"here i am procrastinating at my work desk reading iibt confessions  ,  as usual  .  .  .  oh wait  .  .  .  i didn't even go to iitb  !  - thank you for your entertainment  !  ! ","here i am procrastinating at my work desk reading iit bombay confessions ,  as usual. oh wait , didn't even go to iit bombay !  - thank you for your entertainment  !  "
@Gurmeetramrahim #MSGmissionHumanity Thank You Guruji . Good Morning & Lov You . Pita ji bless me for more sewa simran . https://t.co/EnUVUDW22A,@Gurmeetramrahim #MSGmissionHumanity thankyou guruji . good morning and love you . father bless me for more service. https://t.co/EnUVUDW22A
"RT @BehanHunTeri : Salman aur mujh me b ek cheez common hai "" Understanding "" :))",reply to @Bahnahnteri: salman and i have one thing in common is understanding
India mein #KYC hotay hotay hi #Bitcoin ki value 1 k /2 k dollar badh jaati hai 0,the value of #Bitcoin increases by 1K to 2K as soon as #KYC happens in India.
@sagarcasm @HathwalaThakur @ROFLaaLa Bhai Sagar kiraye pe chalaai.Khareedi nahi.,"@SagarKesam @ Hathavathalakur @Roalal Bhai brother sagar is on rent basis, have not buyed ."
"aur mujhe jo tweet kiya tha woh bhi screenshot hai, bas ek aur baar nakar do, bahot RT wale screenshot pesh kar dengepic.twitter.com/57hvfT7NaG","and the tweet i had is also a screenshot, just deny it one more time, by presenting a lot of screenshots on replies to dengepic.twitter.com/57hvfT7NaG"
"Ankit orange hai kya?

Nahi, Ankit Lal hai. 

#Apologies",ankit do you have orange? no ankit not red. #Apologies
@hitennarendra Hahaa.. Lagta hai aaj 1 hi peg liya hai,"@hitennarendra haha, looks like you got only one peg."
@amazonIN #10KeBaadKarenge Best Friend ka Bday hai Par Aaj koi chance hi nahi Because Its Amazon Sale toh  #10KeBaadKarenge,"@amazonIN #10BaadKarenge is best friend's birthday today but there is no chance today, it is amazon sale  #10KeBaadKarenge"
is gag se pata chal gaya ki faisal bhai ke haath hindi mein thode tight hai .  .  . ( it's darpan and not drapan ) ,-) :p :p
"Aam aadmi @pnb : Sirji passbook puri karwani hai "" kaafi mahino se pension nahi aayi 0 Dekhna is mahine aayi kya ?","common man @pnb sir, passbook has to be completed, pension has not been received for many months."
@Nomadic_Soul_ haha.. Aap meri hi le rahi hai kya ? @BDUTT,"@Nomedic_Soul_ haha, are you taking mine? @BDUTT"
"
Sharminda naa kar, hot tu hai","do not embaress me, you are hot."
@iamGunjanGrunge iss cute bachchi ko internet se maine hi dhoonda hai ,)
RT @DarrKeAage : Main banunga ji Goodwill Ambassador . https://t.co/A7iQdAqrxY,reply to @DarrKeAage i ll be goodwill ambassador. https://t.co/A7iQdAqrxY
@Pharmacist_awan darpook hai captain bhi team players bhi .. Rohit and Rania accha khel rahey thy phr bhi retired ker kay dhoni khud aya,@Pharmacist_ and fearful is the captain as well as the team players. rohit and rania are playing well and they also retired after which Ddhoni himself came.
Pak lost against India again ? Koi nahi . Mohammad bin Qasim nay bhi 17 hamlay keay thay . 5 more to go . #WCT20,pakistan lost against India again? no worries. mohammad bin qasim also did 17 attakcs. 5 more to go . #WCT20
@GaurangBhardwa1 Paris me bhi stuffed parantha khate hai log  @Aashi_81,@GaurangBhardwa1 people also eat stuffed parantha in paris @Aashi_81
"Jab bhi dekho ye ho chuka hai woh ho chuka hai, ho toh tum bhi chuke ho... ab mar jaao.","whenever you see that it is done, it has been done, you have already done it… now die."
u r great jahapanah :-d,"you are great,master"
wait na karao bhai.. jaldi se aa jao,dont make me wait. just come now.
the pain is far deeper than a billy cundiff missed field goal .  gotta wake up and forget about it tomorrow .  #orioles #stayhungry,the pain is far deeper than a billy cundiff missed field goal .  got to wake up and forget about it tomorrow .  #orioles #stayhungry
@MehekMahtani @SonyTV Veer Hanumaan ka shashtra hai yeh #MahabaliKaGada http://hanumaan.setindia.com ,@MehekMahtani @SonyTV these are great hanumaan's weapons #MahabaliKaGada http://hanumaan.setindia.com 
"@cmohry sir beti to beti hoti hai "" umar se kya lena dena. aapko sabhi rape cases k liye ye nirnay lena chahiye .Jab marz ek hai to medicine bhi ek honi chaahiye 0","@cmohry sir daughter is a daughter. what to do with age. you should take this decision for all rape cases. when there is one patient, then medicine should also be one."
please ek bar try kijiye .  .  .  .,please try once
Ye kya horaha hai?https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/808959056312315904 …,what is happening? https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/808959056312315904 
RT @EconomicTimes : Rail Minister Suresh Prabhu and MoS Manoj Sinha with #RailBudget2015 suitcases http://t.co/8BH8qiUuee,reply to @EconomicTimes : rail minister suresh prabhu and minister of state manoj sinha with #RailBudget2015 suitcases http://t.co/8BH8qiUuee
Kabhi apni army ki bhi health puchh liya karo Sirhttps://twitter.com/Samar_Anarya/status/873023908714233856 …,"sir, your should ask about the health of your army https://twitter.com/Samar_Anarya/status/873023908714233856"
bhai ne toh dil jeet liya  .  .  .  .  :d,bother won my heart.
@HudDangee bhaiya 2 rs ka petrol bhar dopic.twitter.com/JLZQU72tO7,@HudDangee brother please fill petrol worth 2 rupees twitter.com/JLZQU72tO7
2nd coming: will blacks america debate the 2012 election #bet @someUSER i'm tired of hearing ppl say potus haven't done anything 4 blks,"2nd coming, will blacks america debate the 2012 election #bet @someUSER i am tired of hearing people saying potus haven't done anything 4 blkes"
"i've got 2 tickets to see leonard cohen in rosemont ,  il on november 23 that i can't use .  anyone interested ?  face value is about $300 . ","i have got 2 tickets to see leonard cohen in rosemon,  i will on november 23rd  that i can not use. is anyone interested?  ace value is about $300. "
long princeton (and diggy) #imagine : happy valentine's day (yn) .  .  .  february 14 it's been 9 m http/URL via @someUSER,"long princeton and diggy #imagine, happy valentine's day.  february 14 it has been 9 months http/URL via @someUSER"
@byomkesbakshi gym gaye the aaj subah ? Wo wahi milta hai aajkal,@byomkesbakshi did you go to gym  today? he is seen there nowadays.
@twinitisha yahan ek nahi mili hai dhai saal se,@twinitisha here we didn't get even one for two and a half years
"incredible pass from vick to kyle williams .  williams out jumps carr in the end zone ,  21-0 in 2nd . ","incredible pass from vick to kyle williams. williams jumps out  of the car in the end zone ,  21-0 in 2nd . "
@huh_watnow tumhe samaj nahi aata ya jaan kar kar rahi ho aisa,@hum_watno you don't understand or are you doing this by intention
RT @kamranYC : T20 world cup 🏆 Me Indian Team Ki Jeet Par Pure Desh ko Koti-Koti Badahai . @OfficeOfRG @vidyarthee @RajaBrar_INC @SwatiSaxen …,reply to @kamranYC congratulations everyone for indian team's win in t20 world cup  @OfficeOfRG @vidyarthee @RajaBrar_INC @SwatiSaxen 
garbage bin ye flag hosting luncher paaji ke pitaji kar rahe hai kya  !  !  :p,"garbage bin, is this flag hosting done by luncher father."
"Samajh nahi aaya, puch liya. Aisa kaunsa paap kar diya?","didn't understand, that is why is asked. what sin did i commit?"
@iKunaal bhai uske paas se AK 47 aur 3 grenades mile.. Gun to theek hai.. Par grenades ?,@iKunaal brither they had ak 47 and 3 grenades. gun was okay but grenades ?
RT @vickynanjappa : Jaish-e-Mohammad was setting up home grown module in India https://t.co/YLPcm8DxlI #jem via @oneindia,reply to @vickynanjappa : jaish-e-mohammad was setting up home grown module in India https://t.co/YLPcm8DxlI #jem via @oneindia
"@HathwalaThakur Haan, DP ko deh kar chaar logon ki maut ki khabar aa chuki hai.","@Hathwala thakur yes, after seeing the display picture, the news of four people dead has come."
#Barish bhi confused hai abhi barsun ya #GST aane ke baad.....,#Barish rain is also confused on whether to fall after #GST has arrived
"Sabhi college/university me padhai hoti h "" pr #jnu me deshdrohi kand hote h ... freedom of speech ke nam pe ....",while every college/university is studying but #jnu is working on antinational activities in the name of freedom of speech.
Justice Katju samay hain kyonki samay sabki leta hai.,justice katju is time because time takes everybody.
Agar aapke Pitaji gay hote to aaj aap ye tweet nahi kar sakte the. Zara soche https://twitter.com/arfunnnnn/status/615408049730093056 …,"if your father were gay, you could not tweet this today. just think: //twitter.com/arfunnannan/states/615408049730093056"
"@Alllahdin :'( 
Ye din dekhne se pehle main marr kyun nahi gaya",@Alladdin why didn't i die before i saw this day
Restaurant main #GST kaam hone ke waje se bhi Hotels main kuch Fark nahi padha uspar actions Lena chahiye Tha @abpnewstv @aajtak,"the hotel did not read any difference in the restaurant, because of the #GST, should have taken actions on it @abapnevastva @ aajtak"
Abhi bi is desh m Deshbhakt Majority m h .....,there are still patriots in this country
"Bhaisahab pehle outrage to kar lo, dimaag uss baat par baad mein laga lena.","hey gentleman, first do the outrage, then use the brain afterwards. "
"bas aise hi, magar kabhi ghamand nahi kiya",just like that but never boasted
already yahan dharti kam pad rahi hai!,"already, the earth is falling short here!"
@toastingtoaster AAP bhi chanda de,@toastingtoaster you also give donation
accha laga jaan ke ki sab # kanhaiya k raaste Par nahi hai ... thanks dear #Janhavi https://t.co/b97UF7fOEn,it was nice to know that all is not on the way of #kanhaiya. thanks dear #Janhvi https://t.co/b97UF7fOEn
"It's Hanuman Jayanti, the reason the guy was so awesome is because woh kabhi ladkiyon ki jhanjhat mein nahi pade. #JaiShriHannuman","it is hanuman jayanti, the reason the guy was so awesome is because he never got into girls' mess. #JaiShriHannuman"
koi baat nhi yaar vaise bhi parents k paise jaane hi the ab tuition nahi toh shoppng hi sahi  .  .  .  .  .  :-),"no worries,  anyways parent's money would have been spent if not in tuition then shopping it is."
Kya aapka #BHIM chhota hai?,is your #BHIM small?
@someUSER hayyyuy can you bring my nirvana shirt tomorrow ?  &lt,3
dimaag chaat liya hai public ne.,public has licked my mind
@rajats2 yahi to scam hai ji! @FarOutAkhtar @rishabh_group @cloud9_resident,@rajats2 this is the scam! @FarOutAkhtar @rishabh_group @cloud9_resident
just close your eyes the sun is going down .  you'll be alright no one can hurt you now .  the morning light you and i will be safe and sound .  .  .,just close your eyes the sun is going down. you will be alright no one can hurt you now. the morning light you and i will be safe and sound.
@byomkesbakshi Jaise hi pata chalega aapko sabse pehle soochit kiya jaega ,)
b button ke saath start  .  . ba hahahaha .  .  . mind boggling gag .  respect garbage bin .,"b starting from button. haha, mind blowing gag. respect garbage bin."
Ladki ka number lekar kya karoge? Ignore toh tumko Whatsapp par bhi hona hai. #SanyamBarkho,what will you do with the girl's number? you would be ignored in whatsapp too. #Start
contra mein 30 lives ke liye sachme chit tha ?  ?  :( kabhi pata hi nahi tha :'(,was there really a cheat for 30 lives in contra? did not know
Twitter pe # 280 characters ho jaaney k baad ab Modi Ji ko #MannKibaat karne Radio pe nhai jaana padega .. Twitter pe he aankhon may bawaseer karenge,"after having # 280 characters on twitter, now modi ji will not have to go to the radio to do #ManyaKiBaat twitter will be piled on my eyes"
"@ravishndtv Mera gaon bilkul dehat me hai "" jab mere gaon me #notebandi ki news pahuch sakti to kahin bhi ja sakti hai "" ye aisa news hai 0","@RavishanDatva My village is in the countryside. when the news of #notebandi can reach my village, it can go anywhere. This is such a news "
@friendlii_ghost Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamare dil me hai,@friendlii_ghost Sarfaroshi's wish is in our hearts now
Zingav mitra! Bindaas naach tu!,friend zingaav. you dance with full chill.
@divyangana Baki spain me sab kaisa hai? Spain walo ko hindi me gaaliya deti ho ki nahi?,@divyangana how is everyone in spain? do you abuse spanish people in hindi or not?
Bhai ye try kijiye sayad aap thoda enjoy kar le ....,"brother, try this, maybe you enjoy yourself a little"
@MissKhushiSen subah se log yahi bol rahe hai,@MissKushiSen this is what people have been saying since morning
"totally, aaj budhaape ki kagaar par aakar ye sach pata chala hai. Important baat hai.","totally, today, on the verge of old age, this truth has been revealed. It is important matter."
@Sand_In_Deed ab baaki sab strong hai,@Sand_In_Deed everything is strong now
@batrakopal bhai bolkar tumne nahi daraya? :-/,@batrakopal were you not scared after telling you?
@Sand_In_Deed @konklord bahot hi philosohical cheez keh daali hai,@Sand_In_Deed @konklord you said a very philosophical thing
@bholi_si_soorat Aapki shaadi ho gayee ?,@bholi_si_soorat are you married?
"Y Muslim women cant marry non muslim , while Muslim men can @itsSSR @ipathak25 @Esha_Deol @anuragkashyap72 https://t.co/riqyOtiiF4","why muslim women can not marry non muslim, while muslim men can @itsSSR @ipathak25 @Esha_Deol @anuragkashyap72 https://t.co/riqyOtiiF4"
mujhe cold drink peeni hai .  .  !  !  !  :d :v,i want to have cold drink
4 in 1 wala cassette aacha hota hai 99999999 in 1 wala nahi :p <3 #games,"4 in 1 cassette is good, not the one with 99999999 in 1  #games"
"Jyotiraditya Scindia is like ""Rassi jal gayee aunty ki bal nahi gaya""pic.twitter.com/RP1sQpr90l","jyotiraditya scindia is like ""the rope was burnt but lady did not lose her hair ""pic.twitter.com/RP1sQpr90l"
#JIO ke free rakhne ki dua aaj #MI ko kaam ayi ...,the making it free policy of #JIO benefited #MI today.
Ye @rwac48 fauj me the isliye inko gaali bhi nahi de sakta pic.twitter.com/pttKcudlMH,"he in @rwac48 was in army, so he cannot be abused pic.twitter.com/pttKcudlMH"
Battery nikal gayee to pager band pad gaya ? https://twitter.com/BollywoodGandu/status/773652143492386816 …,"battery was gone, so  for pager stopped working? https://twitter.com/BollywoodGandu/status/773652143492386816"
Holi ho na ho. Zindagi gutter mein roj girati hai. #OhShitThisWasTooDeep,irrespective of holi is there or not. life will make us fall in the gutter everyday. #OhShitThisWasTooDeep
"Kuch achha karo to gaali, kuch achha na karo to bhi gaalihttps://twitter.com/URM1/status/901032979484467200 …",get abused if you do something good and get abused even if you do nothing ://twitter.com/urm1/states/901032979484467200
Ek baar maine jo commitment kar di uske baad apne aap ki bhi nhi sunta.....,"once I make a commitment, after that I do not even listen to myself…"
sach batau? Not even started yet! Abhi pehla peg andar jaane wala hai,"honestly answering, not even started yet! first would take a peg inside "
"Katrina Bhabhi chale gayi an Ranbir ke paas, tumhara Bhai virgin hi rahega, Karan Johar se dosti kar leni chahiye usne.","sister-in-law  katrina went to ranbir, your brother will remain a virgin, should become friend with karan johar."
@AapGhumaKeLeyLo Kaha gayab the bhaisaab,@AapGhumaKeLeyLo where did you go gentleman
Ab samajh aaya. Tum jaise logo ne hi badhwaye the antardeshiy patra ke rates !!!,now understood. only people like you had increased the rates of inland letters.
@kitAnurag Hahaha kahaa se dhunda ye vyakti,"@kitAnurag haha, where did you find this person"
@VenuSpeak Aapki shaadi ho gayee ?,@VenuSpeak are you married?
@MANJULtoons sirf samman ka bhookha hota hai brahmin,@MANJULtoons brahmin has hunger for things only
@Ra_Bies pet me bachcha aur musibat bin bulaaye aa jate hai,@Ra_Bies baby and trouble come without calling.
"song of the day: OROP-OROP ke is dil se, aah nikalti rahi..","song of the day, drop-drop out of this heart, ah kept coming"
@OfficeOfRG @yadavakhilesh Iseeliye humne #notebandi ka virodh kiya tha 0 Gareeb nirdosh longonko arrest karte hain,@OfficeOfRG @yadavakhilesh that is why we opposed #notebandi. poor innocent people are arrested
@iamGunjanGrunge ok aankh nahi utaunga.. Kuch aur....,"@iamGunjanGrunge ok, will not lift my eyes, but something else."
@ajaydevgn Sir Ji Is MahashivRatri k Parv par #SHIVAAY Movie k Baare Me Kuch Bataye,"@ajyadevgn sir, tell us something about #SHIVAAY movie on the occasion of mahashivratri."
aur faayde me rahe apne lunchar paaji .  .  chips ka packet mil gaya :p :d,and luncher sir was benefited. pack of chips was found: W: D
Is shaher ko ye Hua kya hai.. Kahi rakh hai to kahi dhua dhua.. Play interrupted due to bad weather #DelhiSmog #INDvSL #delhi,what has happened to this city. there is ash and smoke everywhere. play interrupted due to bad weather #DelhiSmog #INDvSL #delhi
@LogicalBakwaas @Sarcaism sudhar jao,@LogicalBakwaas @Sarcaism mend your ways
woh 5 rupaye ki tickets .  .  .  ticket khareed k belt pe shirt ki pocket pe lagana aur na lage hone pe punishment -_-,"this ticket is worth 5 rupees. after buying tickets, to put and not to put it on the belt and pocket of shirt is punishable."
Aaj bhi match hai?,"even today, is there a match?"
ye dialogue bipasha bolti to jyaada accha tha  !  !  !,this dialogue was better if bipasha said it.
@9ya_Raka kya chaatna hai ?,@9ya_Raka  what do you want to lick?
@twinitisha tumne chai toh banayi nahi aur ouchne par ulta seedha bolte ho </3,@twinitisha you do not know how to make tea and  when asked you say innapropriate words.
"Beta maan ja, woh ek padhi likhi aur samajdhar ladki hai woh tujhe haan nahi bolegi re bhikari.","believe it son, she is an educated and a social girl, she will not tell you yes, begger."
.@sagarikaghose kal shani amavasya pe to wish nahi kiya aapne Hindus ko ?,@sagarikaghose did you not wish hindus on saturn amavasya yesterday?
@DefucktiveHumor ab tu hi sambhal,@DefucktiveHumor  now you handle.
prestige puncture ho gayi guddu ki .  .  .,guddu's prestige is punctured
@kamaalrkhan ..... kya joke hai ...,@kamaalrkhan what a joke
faisal bhai purana hai ye to :p,"faisal brother, this is old"
@Fussy_Ca tujhe bada pata hai.. Tu kya uska coolie ban ke gaya tha,"@Fussy_Ca you know many things, did you acted as a coolie for him"
@kavitabika Aus se mere liye kya layee,@kavitabika what did you bring me from australia
@chatpatidiary suna tha aisa kuch,@chatpatidiary  heard of somthing similar
यस बेबी आई एम सॉरी,"yes baby, i am sorry"
Danish bhai isse bade rocket to hamare yaha bachche diwali pe jalate hai https://twitter.com/KhanDanish_/status/637268104783880192 …,"danish brother, bigger rocket than this are burnt here by small children on diwali https://twitter.com/KhanDanish_/status/637268104783880192"
Azad Hindustan ka har hissa deshwasiyon ka hai ! Har street me ek Hindustani bolega aur dusra sunega ! #RSS / #BJP / #Modi ki taqat hae Rok,every part of independent India belongs to the countrymen! one hindustani will speak in every street and another will listen! #RSS #BJP #Modi's strength is to stop
anna ji kahan modi jaise sher ki tulna memne se kar rahe ho .  .  .,"anna, why are you comparing a lion like Modi to a lamb"
tumne maatrubhasha mein bol diya na bas. ab kal se sab chupchap kaam par jayenge.,"you did speak in the mother tongue. now tomorrow onwards, everyone will go to work quietly."
corruption aur scam to nahi ho raha na.. Congress me bhi to Kashmir jalta tha aur scam bhi hote the  @Nirmalogy @PMOIndia,corruption and scam is not happening. Kashmir used to burn and there used to be scam when congress was there@Nirmalogy @PMOIndia
@BloodyKamina 2 peg maar ke so gaya tha..,@BloodyKamina slept after having 2 pegs 
"*Soon*
Daughter - ""Papa.. Mein dosto ke saath Lonavala aayee hu..yaha 2 packet Maggi bhi khayee hai.. Mujhe maaf kar do"" #Bisleri #SachBolo","*soon *
daughter - ""father, i came to lonavla with friends. i have eaten 2 packets of Maggi here too . forgive me"" #Bisleri # Sachbolo"
we did for world cup final between india and australia .  .  . kuch nahi hua .,we did for world cup final between india and australia. nothing happened
"Baat batware par khatm thi, majority wahi khisak gayi, ab Lahore mein toh masjid hi banta, mandir ke liye kitne khade hote?","the matter was over the partition, majority slipped away, now if masjid would have been built in lahore, how many would have stood for the temple?"
ok come in....lekin kese salman bhai...majak nhi kar rahe,"ok come in. but how salman brother, not joking . "
"@MeetUunngLee bhai, Bas hogaya kal tujhe phone kar ke gaaliyan dunga. DM","@MeetUunngLee brother, tomorrow I will just call you and  abuse you. direct message"
Kyu thak rahe ho?,why are you becoming tired?
rape pideeton ke sath sath thodi chinta triple talaq pideet mahilao ka bhi kariye madam?? #TripleTalaq,"madam, along with rape victims, do some worry from women suffering from triple divorce  #TripleTalaq"
"@Fuljhadii Bus nahi aati na yahan tak, warna bahi book kara deta </3
Tumhare liye itna kar sakta hu main","@Fuljhadii bus doesn't come here, even till now, otherwise would have booked. i can do so much for you."
"@melotus toh porn bhi hua, chalo theek hai phir!","@melotus so porn is also there, then okay!"
mann to kar raha hai uski ye kardupic.twitter.com/BDbvn34bM2,"i am feeling it, i should take her pic twitter.com/BDbvn34bM2"
Bipasha taking pheras the Bengali way ! https://t.co/IB8ZvMOWBN,bipasha taking wedding rings the bengali way ! https://t.co/IB8ZvMOWBN
@PRINCEALYASEEN3 wo to film shuru hone ke 10 minute baad hi aapko pata chal jayega.,@PRINCEALYASEEN3 you will know that 10 minutes after the film starts.
Tu dekh kar aaya?,did you saw and come?
@Gurmeetramrahim congrtzz pyare papa ji .... #MSGdedicatesAwardToGuruji,@Gurmeetramrahim congratulations lovely father. #MSGdedicatesAwardToGuruji
naam hain dry state ka .  .,there is a name for the dry state.
keep calm Salman bhaii....we r alwyzz wid uh...Salmania rockd...haters shockd....love uhhh bhai:-),keep calm salman brother. we are always with you...Salmania rockd...haters shockd....love uhhh bhai:-)
"@Ra_Bies but bhai, hamein toh loot liya milke husn walon ne kaale kaale baalon ne gore gore gaalon ne.","@Ra_Bies but brother, we have been robbed by the beauties, dark black hair, white cheeks"
@AksharJi @neeerajbadhwar Shukriya,@AksharJi @neeerajbadhwar welcome
Sir #RightToPrivacy to sarkar ko bhi lagu hoti hain ....,sir #RightToPrivacy is also applicable for the government.
Or bhabi ji kaisi h hmri ☺☺☺,and how id our sister-in-law?
@Being_Humor Itna gaur Delhi wale ne farmaya hota to Vashi nahi pahaunchta.,"if the delhiites had given so much attention, then vashi would not have reached."
@Stupidosaur zakhmon par namak mat ragad,@Stupidosaur do not rub salt on wounds
"mujhe lagta hai ye baatein dil ki, hoti lafzon ki hai dhokbaazi.","i think these talking are heartbreaking, the words are a shock."
@Humor_DNA hahaa.. Hum bhi famous ho gaye,"@Humor_DNA haha, we also got famous"
@dhaval241086 mein to aajkal Sula Wine peeta hu.. Sasti sundar tikau.. aur nasha mbhi mast hota hai @BihariTweeter @Atheist_Krishna,"@dhaval241086 I drink sula wine nowadays. it is inexpensive, beautiful, durable and addiction is also good. @BihariTweeter @Atheist_Krishna"
WI tour pe jaane se achha Rishab Pant yahi rehkar #GST hi samjh leta itne dino me. #IndvsWI,It is better if Rishab Pant have stayed back here itself and understood #GST rather than going for WI tour. #IndvsWI
@Alllahdin ye kathor sachchai sirf Pinki ne accept kiya hai. #Respect,@Alllahdin Only Pinki has accepted this hard truth. #Respect
maa tho maa hoti hai .  .  love you,Mom will be mom .  .  love you
Main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gayahttps://twitter.com/rafiology/status/890969561524191232 …,I have been living along with my life. https://twitter.com/rafiology/status/890969561524191232 …
@hitennarendra H-5 kahan hai?,@hitennarendra where is H-5?
Ek joke aapko jokhim mein daal sakta hai.,one joke can put you at risk.
Beshak Main aaj bhi pheke hue paise nahin uthata Unless it ' s a #BitCoin,"even today, i do not pick up a thrown coin unless it is a #BitCoin"
bhai media me aake bayan do .....sale kon hai rumor urane wala.....,brother come before media and give a statement .....who are these to spread rumour.....
VAT zaroor hoga phir :'(,else VAT will be compulsary
"Bhai IIT wale hai pehle relationship toh bane laundon ki, break up par nacha rahe ho.https://twitter.com/karanjohar/status/788016043830550529 …","Brother, you are an IITian. First get in to a relation. Then you can worry about break up."
Ye #Airtel aur #Jio ki Kadai kisi communal riot se kuch kam nahi .!! Humey shanti chahiye .!! Kuch kijiye .!!,The war between #Airtel and #Jio is nowhere less than a communal riot. All we need is peace.
"@NumbYaar wahi to, jin logo ko mila nahi wo log ke liye kuch chhodne nahi wale ye :(","@NumbYaar That's what, for those who have got nothing, he is not going to leave anything"
RT @HyperHegde : Can't comment on degree but it is true that Bachelor hai our master bhi hai #KejriwalSaySorry,Retweet @HyperHegde : Can't comment on degree but it is true he has bachelor and our's master is also there. #KejriwalSaySorry
Uss Shiney ki wajah se meri chamkaan ka huwi hai yahan. @Vjuneesh @Alllahdin @retardedwriter,my shine is being hid due to that Shiney. @Vjuneesh @Alllahdin @retardedwriter
jabtak public nahi sudrega tabtak kuch nahi ho sakta.,nothing will happen until public rectify themselves.
@AyeNuMe @Alllahdin tumhari Aankhein bahot pyaari hai Ayenume,"@AyeNuMe @Alllahdin your eyes are so beautiful, Ayenume."
bhai kaun si comics ₹20 me milti hai ab ?,"brother, which comics will be available for twenty rupees now?"
Bhai @GaurangBhardwa1 galti ki maafi to pehle hi maang chuka hu.. Saza ab kyu de raha hai,"brother, @GaurangBhardwa1,  i have already asked for forgiveness for my fault earlier..why are you punishing me now"
atari 2600 - mere pass yeh system bhi tha jisme ek hi game thi - elevator action .  .  .  .  . na jaane kitne joysticks tode thi .  .  .  .  .  .,atari 2600 - i also had this system which has only one game - elevator action .  I do not even know the number of joysticks i have broken.
Salman bhai ki produce ki huvi movie achi na ho ehsa ho hi ni skta....,it is impossible that the movie produced by Salman brother is not good.
Manzil sirf unhai milti hai jo har nahi mante ..,only those people will reach their goal who do not accept failure.
"the glass may be rising ,  but it's not getting any warmer here ,  lago del desierto ,  argentina http/URL","the glass may be rising ,  but it's not getting any warmer here ,  lake of the desert,  argentina http/URL"
shaadi kab hai @MeetUunngLee,when is the marriage @MeetUunngLee
"Bageera: Mowgli ne Eid manayi aur ab Gudi Padwa bhi mana raha hai
Sherkhan: YE HINDU KA KHOON YE MUSALMAAN KA KHOON BATA KYA FARAK HAI ISME.",Bageera: mowgli has celebrated Eid and now he is celebrating Gudi Padwa also Sherkhan:This is the blood of hindu. This is the blood of muslim. now tell me what is the difference between these.
"@drpoonam ab iss par rone ka bhi koi matlab nahi, old monk piyo.","@drpoonam There is no meaning in crying on this now, drink old monk."
"Bilkul bhi nahi, romantic movie hai woh toh. Nahi pasand tumhe?","Not at all, that is a romantic movie. don't you like it?"
@CertifiedKamina bhai hai tu mera,@CertifiedKamina you are my brother
"""Saare body parts ek doosre se mile huye hain""pic.twitter.com/4dE5uiJDee","""Every body pahas met one another""pic.twitter.com/4dE5uiJDee"
#aaj #sabhi #superhits film.dekhane chale #bbthiseid #superdupar film,#aaj #sabhi #superhits Lets go to watch film #bbthiseid #superdupar film
Sir ghar to pahunch jaate.. Iss baar Airport se hi https://twitter.com/ndtv/status/667760488843898880 …,Sir will definitely reach home.. but this time directly from airpohttps://twitter.com/ndtv/status/667760488843898880 …
Abhi wapas haath use karne hongepic.twitter.com/dNiffrKppK,now there might be a need to use hand again pic.twitter.com/dNiffrKppK
kya hai ye bro?,what is this bro?
Mahashivratri ki hardik shubkamnayein ! Shiva the Adiyogi ' The grace of meditation . #TheBlissfulPeace Om ! Om ! Om Namah Shivaya :),hearty congratulation for Mahashivratri ! Shiva the first yogi. The grace of meditation . #TheBlissfulPeace salutations to Lord Shiva
"Savita Bhabhi, Debonair & Letters to The Penthouse. Aur sun takle, maanavta hi mera dharm hai.","sister-in-law Savita, Debonair & Letters to The Penthouse. and listen bald head, humanity is my only religion."
"Galti se TV pe splitsvilla lag gaya..

Ab TV ko Ganga-jal se dhona padega ",splitsvilla has been playing on the TV by mistake.. Now there is a need to wash the TV with Ganga water.
@KyaUkhaadLega hahahaha! Nee Year resolution liya hai phone mere siwa kisi ke haath mein mera phone nahi hoga,@KyaUkhaadLega I have taken my new year resolution that my phone will only be in my hands and not in any other hands.
Tujhko mirchi lagi to main kya karun..https://twitter.com/ShekharGupta/status/836255154538074112 …,what should i do if you had chilli..https://twitter.com/ShekharGupta/status/836255154538074112 …
@Bodhisatvaa @bruiselee lekin do dost agar ek pyaale main chai piyenge toh ...,@Bodhisatvaa @bruiselee but if two friends drink tea in the same cup then ...
@toastingtoaster bhai tere liye free  @LEDtvn,@toastingtoaster brother this is free for you  @LEDtvn
@iamGunjanGrunge ye kaisi hai ?pic.twitter.com/0b645nuTSS,@iamGunjanGrunge how is this ?pic.twitter.com/0b645nuTSS
lolol. Mahine me ekaad bar ho jata hai,"laugh out loud, it hapens monthly once"
so the penguin/random house merger is to go ahead ?  better than it falling into murdoch's clutches .  (a mistake for tuc to sell sun 41 yr ago),so the penguin/random house merger is to go ahead ?  better than it falling into murdoch's clutches .  (a mistake for tuc to sell sun 41 years ago)
@huh_watnow dekha ek khwaab to ye silsile hue,@huh_watnow I saw a dream and these events occured
"lol, yahan mere tweets bhi like nahi karti, main toh phir bhi durr ki baat hu ","laugh out loud, she does not even like my tweets here, I am even further away from discussion"
@Shahrcasm birthday walo ki profile me aata hai. Market me naya aaya hai forward karo,@Shahrcasm it comes in the profiles of the birthday ones. this is new to market. forward it.
Modi ne free WIFI ka connection band karwa diya ... taake Delhi ke log Ambani Ka free #JIO le le - Arvind kejriwal,Modi has banned the free WIFI connection ... so that the Delhi people uses Ambani's free #JIO4 - Arvind kejriwal
Tan aur Mann desh Kay liye pranam modi ji .,i owe my body and soul fro the country modi sir.
"A Raja : Kaash "" 2010 me 1.76 lakh crore ke Bitcoins khareed liye hote !",A Raja : It would have been better if i could have bought bitcoins back in 2010 which would value for 1.76lakh crores
"*Overheard*

""Didi maine suna hai UK alag ho gaya hai EU se.. I hope India ke south me jo jagah hai waha aa jaaye.. Flight sasti hi jaegi..""","*Overheard*

""Sister i have heard that united kingdom has been separated from europe.. I hope you would come to the place which is in south india. . cost of filghts is also less.."""
Isko bandook de do aur border pe bhej do.. 2 ghante me akal thikaane aa jaegihttps://twitter.com/jimmy9_girl/status/812282726480908288 …,give her a gun and send her to the border.. she will come back to senses in two hours https://twitter.com/jimmy9_girl/status/812282726480908288 …
Ye Sab time nikal ke #Diwali festival ke,all of these have saved some time and celebrated #Diwali festival
@sunnysbluesky lol ashleel hai ye asan,@sunnysbluesky laugh out loud this poster is indecent
Kashmir to hoga.. lekin pakistan nahi hoga.. Awesome poemhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cde32Yo3nzI …,it might be Kashmir.. but it cannot be pakisthan.. awesome poem https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cde32Yo3nzI …
@ROFLaaLa Aaj faisla hoga Laala.,@ROFLaaLa decision will be made today Laala.
"Yaar apne ka problem hai na, apneka toh pyatih joke hogayela hai bhai.","dude this is our problem right, who will be on our side brother."
tune samjha kya hai mujhe? Kis ki jurrat jo mujhe ghur kar dekhe bhi?,what have you understood about me. who has that courage to even stare at me.
kis cheez ke baare mein?,about which one?
Pappu left India on 17th Feb for Bang-Kok via #Thai Airways . Uske baad kaha gaye pata nahi . Waah re rangeele Rahul . #RahulOnLeave,Pappu left India on seventeenth February for bangkok via #Thai Airways . we do not know where he has gone after that . great enjoyment Rahul . #RahulOnLeave
haa haaa haaa  .  .  .  . hummare class main yeh saubhagy mujhe prapt thaa .  .  .  .  !  !  ! kaash office main bhi aise chalk use hoti .  .  .  . lol,i am fortunate to have this facility in class. it would have been good if there is a usage of chalk in the office as well.
Please yaar vapas lele .... aur ek world sirf tu he dilaa sakta hai please request #Dhoni,please dude take it back .... only you can give us another world cup. please request #Dhoni
@Hbddorku bhai kya kar raha hai. Ruk ja,@Hbddorku brother what are you doing. wait
"@mahnoor My pleasure,shabaash aisey hi badhiya tweets karrtey raho bahut hansee aatee hai khoon banta hai.Shukriya.","@mahnoor My pleasure, good keep making great tweets like this. they will make me laugh a lot. thank you."
@someUSER cant wait for you to come to dublin on monday so excited to see you:-) &lt,3
@Gott_Partikel jor se bolo BHARATMATAKIJAI,@Gott_Partikel say out loudly BHARATMATAKIJAI
RT @HaramiParindey : Pic 1 : Bangladesh fans before the match . Pic 2 : Bangladesh fans after the match . #AsiaCupT20Final #IndvsBan https :/,@HaramiParindey : Picture 1 : Bangladesh fans before the match . Picture 2 : Bangladesh fans after the match . #AsiaCupT20Final #IndvsBan https :/
comments me to recharge sale krne wale bahut h .  .,there are lot of people who recharges in comments
the mom's expression in the second last illustration  .  .  .  haiiiiiii !  !  !  !  !  super super stuff,the mother's expression in the second last illustration! super stuff
"Apne desi ""Kanya Waste"" ke paas bahot kaala dhan hai aisa lagta hai.https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/809646569200848896 …","it seems like our authentic ""Kanya Waste"" has more black money .https://twitter.com/NewsBytesApp/status/809646569200848896 …"
inter milan transfer rumours: 5 players linked to the san siro in january: inter milan have started their new .  .  .  http/URL,inter milan transfer rumours that five players linked to the san siro in january. inter milan have started their new .  .  .  http/URL
bhai sahab .  .  .  guddu ne jism movie dekhli lagta hai :),respected brother .  .  .  it seems that guddu has seen jism movie
"Iss root ki sabhi line vyast hai

~ Sehwag","every line in this route is busy
~ Sehwag"
Ek #SurgicalStrike un Aunties ki bhi honi chahiye jo mere ghar pe aakar kahti hai Apka chora waha #Cigarette pi raha tha ...,"one #SurgicalStrike should also be done by those aunties who come to my home and tell, ""your kid was smoking a #Cigarette there"
@LaliJogan37 hume aap pasand ho kyuki aap zameen se jude hue hai :),@LaliJogan37 we are fond of you because you always stay on the ground
@PunsTurnMeOn tere sandaas pun tweets padhke jinko brain cancer hota hai unko rone ko kandha deta hun.,"@PunsTurnMeOn i will give my support for those people to cry, who has brain cancer by reading your annoying tweets."
"guddu's sir: penalty kick  "" master ""  hai ky  ?  :p","guddu's sir: is he the penalty kick  "" master "" ?"
Ye Gutkha Mukesh ki behen lag rahi hai.,she seems like the sister of Gutkha Mukesh
"koi na, har ek ka market hota hai.","do not worry, every has their market."
"iss baar weekend par bhi kaam hai, isiliye sober.","this time, i am having work even on the weekends. that is why i am sober"
guddu is growing up !  bahut kuch dekh aur seekh raha hai !  :p,guddu is growing up !  he is seeing and learning much more.
"@Alllahdin waah!!
Ab tu phir sojayega, loo se nikal kar.","@Alllahdin waah!!
now you will sleep again. come out of the toilet."
faddu trailer bhaijaan. ...,great trailer brother. ...
ha ha ha ! funny ! mujhe to kuchh behtr reply ki ummid thi ! jaisi ki #SurgicalStrike etc,funny ! i hoped for a better reply like #SurgicalStrike etc
ab mujhe yagna karna padega :(,now i have to do a sacrifice
"Sir @kamaalrkhan aaj #WorldToiletDay hai, aaj toh kullla kar lo.","Sir @kamaalrkhan today is #WorldToiletDay, atleast gargle today."
.@ArvindKejriwal sir ajay devgn ka role aapse inspired hai. Wo aur uske log innocent hone ka natak karte hain. Uski bhi police se nahi banti,.@ArvindKejriwal sir ajay devgan's role is inspired from you. He and his people act as if they are inncoent. he also has no good relationship with the police.
"@MeetUunngLee me too, tu mera Bhai hai. *HIC*","@MeetUunngLee me too, you are my brother."
because y'all have been complaing about him allll the dam time .  .  not like me since i was in 3rd grade parker has been my main baby &lt,3
@Mukeshjio sirji humare chattisgarh Sukma me v ek #jio ka tower lagwa dijiye 0,@Mukeshjio sir please put up one #jio tower in the district of Sukma in chattisgarh
work almost over with then these negros won't see my face till monday night !,work is almost over with these negros and they won't see my face till monday night !
"#Mahashivratri Special Shrimad Bhagavat Katha At Dighanchi , Tal Aatpadi , Dist Sangali ( MH ) Date : 11 Feb to 17 Feb ... http://t.co/izPtyf1TAp","#Mahashivratri Special Shrimad Bhagavat Katha At Dighanchi , Taluka Aatpadi , District Sangali ( maharashtra ) Date : 11 February to 17 February ... http://t.co/izPtyf1TAp"
"Jeetna hai to dilon ko jito "" election to #TRUMP bhi jeet jaata hai","if you want to win, win the hearts. even #TRUMP can win the elections."
i think i shoud stop going for swimming now :-/,i think i shoud stop going for swimming now
"@MeetUunngLee @retardedwriter  ek nahi mili bhai, ek.","@MeetUunngLee @retardedwriter  i did not find one, only one"
"#FeministMovies
Babli Aur Banti","#FeministMovies
Babli and Banti"
8 overs mein waise bhi haarenge Bangladeshihttps://twitter.com/bhogleharsha/status/706489888586096640 …,any way bangladeshi players will lose in eight overs https://twitter.com/bhogleharsha/status/706489888586096640 …
@yashikamehta04 Accha Kaam karne niklo aur baadhaa na aye .?? But we the nation is with @sudhirchaudhary #SalutingSudhirChaudhry,@yashikamehta04 go and do a good work?? But we the nation is with @sudhirchaudhary #SalutingSudhirChaudhry
@PriyancaBajaj Jai Shree Krishna,@PriyancaBajaj hail lord Krishna
Salman dear bye aftari kerte ha hum prr melinge...,salman dear bye. let us meet again to have lunch.
"""Subah se na ek aalo bika hai, na bika hai adha kaanda"" - Rumi","""i have not eaten a potato since morning, not even an onion"" - Rumi"
Jai shri ram .......coming sooooon bjrngi bhai jan,hail Lord sri ram .......coming soon bhajrangi brother.
"LOL chalo date par, tumhe zaroorat hai uski.","laugh out loud go on a date, you are in a need of it."
Hahahaaa... Abhi doosro ki maa ko gaali de raha tha.. Yaha gyaan pell raha hai pic.twitter.com/hYeqqfrNcl,now  itself he was scolding others' mother.. he is spreading knowledge here. pic.twitter.com/hYeqqfrNcl
@MissKhushiSen maine suna band ho gaya,@MissKhushiSen i have heard that it is closed
"Kids smoke ""cigarettes legends live in Delhi; Kamar kaslo aur sab thik karo warna mar jao #DelhiSmog",kids smoke cigarettes. legends live in delhi. close the room and be safe or else die #DelhiSmog
Future Moms would be like: Achhe bachhe sandaas mein jaakar selfie nahi kheechte chalo chalo bahar aao.,"Future Moms would be like: good kids, no one clicks selfies in bathrooms, come out."
tune khud likha hai ye?,have you written this by yourself?
Aesyy tweets ki wajh se he tu zindaa hain https://t.co/3oYvLQDtBC,you are alive just because of this type of tweets https://t.co/3oYvLQDtBC
@Shakti_Shetty kal Monday hai,@Shakti_Shetty tomorrow is monday
ak jindabaad .  . u r delhi cm .  .  .,hail aravind kejriwal.  . you are chief minister of delhi .  .  .
sneak peek: check out the 12 freebies you can get at cvs on black friday !  link in the first comment:,sneak peek: check out the twelve freebies you can get at consumer value stores on black friday !  link in the first comment:
kal kya kar rahe ho? Catch up?,what were you doing yesterday? Catch up?
@BLRrocKS ok Sir I won't ask Bharat Mata ki Jai @shakkuiyer,"@BLRrocKS ok sir, i wont ask to hail mother india @shakkuiyer"
"Afridi aapko Indians bahut pyar karte hai , Pakistanis se bhi zyada . Now spend some time with them in the pavilion . 😁 #IndvsPak","Afridi Indians love you so much, even more than Pakistanis. Now spend some time with them in the pavilion #IndvsPak"
@i_m_rathore Yeh kahan se dhoond liya?,@i_m_rathore from where did you find this?
"@amvim JDU jaegi har, ab aage badhega Bihar. #NitishKaNakliVikas","@amvim janata dal (united) will lose, now Bihar will develop. #NitishKaNakliVikas"
@KhariBiskut Aaj tak nahi aata kya wahan?,@KhariBiskut did not he come there till today?
RT @MrsGandhi : Sab mile hue hain ji !!! https://t.co/9yVjyt5e87,@MrsGandhi : Everyone had met madam !!! https://t.co/9yVjyt5e87
Iss cheez ke liye main Bambai aane taiyaar hu!,i am ready to come to Bombay for this thing
Attention kya hai aap meri jaan lijiye.,"why only attention, take my entire life"
Ami tomar sathe kotha bolte chai Bhaijaan.,"I want to talk to you, brother"
Rana Ayyub to choodiyan tod legi aaj apnihttps://twitter.com/aajtak/status/621148147943784449 …,Rana Ayyub will definitely going to brake you bangles. https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/621148147943784449 …
pakistan team toh ekdum hi lull ho gayi .,pakistan team has become dull at once.
Hmm . Itna late bhaii😳,why have you come too late brothers ?
yaar tum log kahan gayab ho gaye ho .  kitne kam updates maarte ho .  i believe something big is on .,where have you been guys .  you seldom give any updates .  i believe something big is on .
"Father : Sir meri beti kho gayi hai.

Police : Kaisi dikhti hai? Koi photo hai?

Father [shows pic in phone]

Girl *appears* : DELETE IT.","Father : Sir my daughter is missing.

Police : how does she look? do you have any photo?

Father [shows picture in phone]

Girl appears : delete it"
hahaha y to game k sath free ati thi .  .  . but seriously yar isko khel khel k bade hue h hum .  .  . i still miss those days .,this comes free along with the game .  .  . but seriously dude we have been playing this while we have grown up .  .  . i still miss those days .
"tujhe koi aur samjah liya, mafi","I am sorry, i thought you were someone else"
"@Heerahee yeh psycho hai, kuch bhi bolta hai @_SandSurfer","@Heerahee he is a psycho, he talks whatever comes to his mind @_SandSurfer"
"""Heera hai sada ke liye"" - UK to India on Kohinoor","""Diamond is forever"" - UK to India on Kohinoor"
@KShisodia andhe ho tum aur ignorant bhi,@KShisodia you are the one who is blind and ignorant as well
batao sirji kab n kaha?,sir tell me when and where?
"Misbah: Bhai kal match jeet gaye to english me bolna padega
Afridi:pic.twitter.com/nU7F2va4j1","Misbah: brother if we win the match tomorrow, we might need to talk in english
Afridi:pic.twitter.com/nU7F2va4j1"
@LoKarDi_RT pyaar me gadhi bhi laage pari,@LoKarDi_even donkey seems to look like an angel
"are u in ny ?  do u want freedom for khader adnan ?  are u awesome ?  if so ,  u better be at the rally in ny ,  feb 20 4:30-7:30 at israeli embassy","are you in new york ?  do you want freedom for khader adnan ?  are you awesome ?  if so ,  you better be at the rally in new york ,  february 20th 4:30-7:30 at israeli embassy"
final to 15 feb ko jeet gaye the .  .  uske baad to bonus tha .  .  .  .,they have won the final on 15th february itself .  .  evrything after that is bonus .  .  .  .
"Hota hai, it's a tough ask. Mkhitaryan ne shayad iski beti ko propose kiya hoga","it will be, it is a tough task. perhaps mohitaryan has proposed her daughter"
"@someUSER @someUSER @someUSER nope ,  it's just camden ,  eating greek food with a pumpkin .  .  .  just another wednesday . ","@someUSER @someUSER @someUSER no ,  it is just camden ,  eating greek food with a pumpkin .  .  .  just another wednesday . "
@MistryMania Cersei ki to kya insult huee hai,@MistryMania what insult has been faced by cersei
"Jaa nahi khelta main tere saath, Katti. Meri bat wapass do.https://twitter.com/praneethhr/status/737963544063381504 …","do not go, i will play with you, Katti. give me my bat back .https://twitter.com/praneethhr/status/737963544063381504 …"
@twinitisha ab yaha se jaana mat @witchybitchygalpic.twitter.com/vV1GRfHsdq,@twinitisha now do not go from here @witchybitchygalpic.twitter.com/vV1GRfHsdq
@RubikaLiyaquat aapne bataya nahi ma'am aap bike bhi chalo leti hain ? yaa yeh pose diya tha pic k liye ? https://t.co/xNMCi7mpxi,"@RubikaLiyaquat you have not told us madam that you can also ride a bike ? or, have you given a pose for this picture ? https://t.co/xNMCi7mpxi"
"Paison ke liye main kuch bhi kar sakta hu, offend bhi. ","i can do anything for money, even offend."
#Fitness #sexy #BJP #ThursdayThoughts #RightToPrivacy,$
What's unbelievable is that most of the people liking this re not even from IITB ...,What is unbelievable is that most of the people are liking this dude including those who are not even from IITB ...
@PriyancaBajaj achcha hua tumne pehle nahi bola.. Itne RTs nahi milte ,) @RiddhiDhebri
@i_Arhaan @NaughtyDew_ hahaha kya hua bhai,@i_Arhaan @NaughtyDew_ what happened brother
Modi raaj me bani bharat ki missiles .. #MakeinIndia,indian missiles made under modi's government .. #MakeinIndia
lack of communication from #nycdoe very frustrating regarding reporting time for work tomorrow .  thank you #uft and @someUSER for info,lack of communication from #nycdoe is very frustrating regarding reporting time for work tomorrow .  thank you #uft and @someUSER for information
Abhi kro na bajrngi bhaijan. .,"Now do it , bajrangi brother"
Jab insaan ki phat leti hai tab muh se kuch zyada hi angrezi nikalti haihttps://twitter.com/ShashiTharoor/status/861608665517895680 …,"when a man gets angry, much more english comes out of his mouth https://twitter.com/ShashiTharoor/status/861608665517895680 …"
@TweetErrant fake hasi.. Is ghatiya tweet pe to mujhe bhi hasi nahi aayee,@TweetErrant fake laughter.. even i could not laugh at this worst tweet
"Kal gaadi ke niche a gaya. Kismat achi thi ki ek taang toot gayi, acha daam mila. #tweetslikegareebguy","yesterday i have met with an accident. i am so lucky that i broke only one thigh bone, it was a nice experience. #tweetslikegareebguy"
Salman bhaaaiiiii ilovee uuu alooottt...,Salman brother i love you a lot
@indiantweeter Ankit tera kurta wohi colour ka lag raha hai bhai :-/,"@indiantweeter Ankit, it seems that your kurta also has the same color"
@UnSubtleDesi ye dosti hum nahi todenge... @Atheist_Krishnapic.twitter.com/bEAs9vYoHq,@UnSubtleDesi we will not break this friendship @Atheist_Krishnapic.twitter.com/bEAs9vYoHq
"Horse: Bata kya legi?
Sonakshi Sinha: sawaar loon, haaye sawaar loon, sawaar loon haaye sawaar loon","Horse: say what do you want?
Sonakshi Sinha: i will have a ride, i will have a ride, i will have a ride"
@DhoniMS7 wo bhabhi ke barabar hai kya ?,@DhoniMS7 is it like your sister-in-law?
Kuch bhi bolo anushka bhabhi hot lag rahi hai.,"Whatever it might be, anushka sister-in-law is hot."
@Lambar_Daar Kshama kare dost,@Lambar_Daar friend please forgive me
"""Ye bhi tum karo toh hum kya karenge?"" - Papa Ranjeethttps://twitter.com/DailyCaller/status/844983351090053120 …","""if you do this as well, what shall we do?"" - Papa Ranjeethttps://twitter.com/DailyCaller/status/844983351090053120 …"
Kuch log yahan subah subah ek bada chamach anti-national chyawanprash khaa kar aate hai.,some people come here early in the morning after eating a large spoon of anti-national chyawanprash.
@_ePerceptions sabr ka phal RT hota hai,@_ePerceptions everyone's success will be retweet
@vypul upar se gaya,@vypul it went from above
they better take joe pa to the pet semetary .  .  .  they may never win agdin,they better take joe to the pet semetary .  .  .  they may never win again
Pavan kuman ...abhi toh ajao..,Pavan kumar ...atleast come now
"and if you're from maryland ,  early voting has been extended until tomorrow at 9pm .  please go vote ! ","and if you are from maryland ,  early voting has been extended until tomorrow at 9pm .  please go and vote ! "
@BurgerrB ....dil de chuke sanam?,"@BurgerrB, have you given your heart, beloved?"
"Yeah, because vegetarians never say things like ""tum bhi to khaate ho hamare khaane ka khaana"".https://twitter.com/fact/status/892138299745292289 …","Yeah, because vegetarians never say things like ""you also eat everthing we eat"".https://twitter.com/fact/status/892138299745292289 …"
@ROFLaaLa mujhe laga Gainda Swamy aayega.. ye to Siddharth Malhotra nikla.. Ekdun dude @Being_Humor,@ROFLaaLa i thought Gainda Swamy would come.. but Siddharth Malhotra came at once dude @Being_Humor
Help me bhai plzz help.me,Help me brother please help.me
IIT Roorkee ka banda hoga , fakka wahin use hota hai .
This #Morkel wicket looked like #Dhoni telling one #CSK teammate to get bowled by another CSK teammate .. Ye IPL hai ya #WorldCup2015 BC,This #Morkel wicket looked like #Dhoni telling one #CSK teammate to get bowled by another CSK teammate .. Ye IPL hai ya #WorldCup2015 BC
"Thank ""god KOI MIL GAYA was made in 2003 Abhi bani hoti to Jadu dhup dhup krta rehta aur milta sirf #pollution.","Thank god KOI MIL GAYA was made in 2003, if it is made now, then Jadu will only search for sunlight, but what he gets is only #pollution."
aise school mein toh apna ghar bana loon .  .  .,shall i make my home in a school like this.
sahi hai bachpan yaad aa gya  .  .  .  .  always mom dad gives their best to children :),it is good that i recall my childhood  .  .  .  .  always mom and dad gives their best to children
@Dishasatra @Ra_Bies aise har pagal insaan ko lagta hai woh pagal nahi hai. You are Disha Awasthi.,@Dishasatra @Ra_Bies every mad person feels that he is not mad. You are Disha Awasthi.
PR karne wale kabhi darte nahi.,people who take care of public relations never fear anything
Kingo ... Gaadi me kuch the kya ? #DilwaleOnSony https://t.co/6qoSjTDhhw,Kingo ... are there something in the vehicle ? #DilwaleOnSony https://t.co/6qoSjTDhhw
"Yaar @udaychopra bore ho raha hai, ek film bana de.","Dude @udaychopra he is feeling bored, make one film."
@HathwalaThakur Barkha Dutt ka tha,@HathwalaThakur belongs to Barkha Dutt
.@AazadPanchhi dhone ka nahi hai,.@AazadPanchhi does not belong to either of them
@numbyaar bhai ye #MDL kya hai?,@numbyaar brother what is this #MDL?
Zindagi adhuri hai ab ... without Ladkiyaan sweets & @SRKswarrior1 bhai ke tweets :D Sale dono dil jeet lete hai hamesha !!,"now life is incomplete ... without girls, sweets & @SRKswarrior1 brother's tweets. both of them always win our hearts."
@dhaikilokatweet dimaag ki kalaiyo ka behetareen upyog ,)
@hotsrkfan Darr ke aage jeet hai tabhi to #NaamBanteHainRiskSehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tybez0kwACg …,"@hotsrkfan there is success ahead of fear, that is why #NaamBanteHainRiskSehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tybez0kwACg …"
kya baat kar raha hai? @KyaUkhaadLega,what are you talking? @KyaUkhaadLega
@iamsonisinghal hehe.. Aap bhi kam nahi ho ,)
"RT @AlexandruC4 : #BREAKING : Russia establishes military base in Palmyra , after driving ISIS https://t.co/j8xnKTGyYe","@AlexandruC4 : #BREAKING : Russia establishes military base in Palmyra , after driving islamic state of iraq and syria https://t.co/j8xnKTGyYe"
@tushargaando bhai darane ki ni rakhi hai @runjhunmehrotra,"@tushargaando brother,  it is not kept to frighten anyone @runjhunmehrotra"
@someUSER i want to see white arrows at north star bar sat + @someUSER studio session on wed !  !  !,@someUSER i want to see white arrows at north star bar on saturday and @someUSER studio session on wednesday ! ! !
"if aliens observed earth to learn about us ,  i wish they'd watch the olympics .  rather than mardis gras or the 4th of july .  .  . ","if aliens observed earth to learn about us ,  i wish they would watch the olympics .  rather than mardis gras or the 4th of july .  .  . "
yaar aap kuch nhi kar payegi  .  .  .  plz modi ko support karo  .  .  .  he is powerful,dude you cannot do anything . . . please support modi . . . he is powerful
"Mera dil tha akela, tune khel aisa khela, teri yaad mein paadu raat bhar...",my heart was alone. you played such a game. i stay up all night in your memories
aaj agar ladoo ka pura dabba bi mil jaye to vo maja nahi aaega :(,"if we also find the full box of sweets, then that will not give enjoyment"
"Do waqt ki roti, aur ek waqt ke momos.",Two times chapathi and one time momos daily
Ab tu jada he bolne lagi hai..soch kar bat kar warna...,now you have been talking a lot. thiank before you talk or else..
"""Kaha tha isko, padhai pe dhyaan do!"" - parents of those who bowled to Pranav Dhanawade","""I have told him to concentrate on studies!"" - parents of those who bowled to Pranav Dhanawade"
@MeetUunngLee tu mil gaya mujhe @Alllahdin @retardedwriterpic.twitter.com/yMWctTPxKG,@MeetUunngLee i have found you @Alllahdin @retardedwriterpic.twitter.com/yMWctTPxKG
chalk ki bahut mara mari thi apne time mein .  .  .,we used to fight a lot over chalk during our times
@rinib1 92.7 FM pay neelabh misra 9.45 pm pay achee story sunate hain - bahut badiya - will tweet 1 more tomorrow - on honesty,@rinib1 neelabh misra will tell a good story at 9.45pm on 92.7 FM - very good - i will tweet on more tweet tomorrow with honesty
"@shreekantmundra JDU jaegi har, ab aage badhega Bihar. #NitishKaNakliVikas","@shreekantmundra janata dal (united) will lose, now Bihar will develop. #NitishKaNakliVikas"
@Lucky_Reyy doctor student gareeb nai hota .,@Lucky_Reyy doctor student will not be poor .
"Ye batao tum dono mein se JD pila kaun raha hai, phir jisse chahiye waise piye. Main bhi piyunga free mein.","tell me which one of you are going to give Jack Daniel's, then drink as you wish. i will also drink it for free"
pics: the kbc episode on sony on november 4 .  a treat for all the big b and srk fans .  http/URL @someUSER #fb,"pictures: the ""koun banega crorepathi"" episode on sony on november 4. A treat for all the big bhai and Sharukh khan fans .  http/URL @someUSER #fb"
bulla ye pic aaye hai on WA pic.twitter.com/yXnEHB2he1,bulla this picture has come in whatsapp pic.twitter.com/yXnEHB2he1
Maam @Bainjal kitaab mera bhi handle daalne ke kitne paytm karu ?,"Madam, @Bainjal how much should send you on paytm for attaching handle to the book"
babu bhaiya ko pranam...hamare maze na lein :),greetings to my brother. please do not tease us.
@_SandSurfer raat ko kiya tha. mandatory hai. chup ho ja,@_SandSurfer has done it at night. it is mandatory. keep quiet
@Bihar_ke_lala ankit se haath milaya tha ek bar. 6 alag alag STDs ho gayi.,@Bihar_ke_lala have met ankit once. 6 different STDs have been made
"@shivanimehra86 Tumko dekha hai maine Dilli ki sadkon par, Okhla. Pakka. Meri shakal? Ye lopic.twitter.com/CKkRvPJu7I","@shivanimehra86 i have seen you in the streets of the okhla city of delhi, for sure. my face? take this  pic.twitter.com/CKkRvPJu7I"
Mera Islam mera mazhab. Ik allha ik qhuran . Tu kya samjaye ga hume,it is my islam and it is my religion. there is one god and there is one qhuram. What will you make us understand?
@Footloose_Free Jis jis ko udhaari di hai.. wapas le lo ,)
"i spoke too soon .  flight just cancelled .  looks like i'm stranded in calgary .  i'll try again tomorrow am !  eek ,  i hope i make it #iycsask . ",i spoke too soon . flight just got cancelled . looks like i am stranded in calgary . i will try again tomorrow. i hope i make it #iycsask .
@someUSER pls tv5 just get that sucker's leg (rvp) broken 4 me on saturday pls !  !,@someUSER please tv5 just get that sucker's leg broken for me on saturday please ! !
"ye sahab unhi logon ke bhakt hain "" jo kal tak #SurgicalStrike ke proof mangte ghoomte thhe .",this sir is a devotee of only those people who has been roamig in search of proof for #SurgicalStrike till yesterday
@kaalia_bhatt mann nahi kar raha yaar,"@kaalia_bhatt dude, i do not feel like i want to do it"
Phatakey phorna chalu karey ??,shall we start burning crackers
@AamHapus aur kya?,@AamHapus what else?
cheque (india) bounce ho gya :(  !,cheque from india got bounced
Kal raat ko jo hua. Sab bhool jaao.. Jaise veer aur hello brother bhool gaye the,forget whatever has happened yesterday night.. just like veer and hello brother forgetting it.
sir aap hi ka program hai...jab aap fit ho jayien....https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/885782518120693760 …,sir this program is yours..whenever you become fit ....https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/885782518120693760 …
@Champ_Nikk par maal chokha hai,@Champ_Nikk But the stock is cheap.
ek mms par itna lafda q yar  .  .  .  r u all crazy,why are you playing upon a single mms. are you all crazy.
superb  .  .  .  maja hi aa gya .  .  . hum to padhte padhte hi  .  .  .  jagah se na uth paye,super  .  .  .  it is fun .  .  . we have just kept studying and could not move from that place.
don't forget mitch daniels is going to be on steven colbert's show thursday .  think this will come up as a topic ?,do not forget that mitch daniels is going to be on steven colbert's show on thursday .  do you think this will come up as a topic ?
"Don't understand these high five washrooms in 5 stars, bhai haath kahan dhona hai aur susu kahan karni?","I do not understand these hifi washrooms in 5 star hotels, brother, where should i wash my hands and where should i pee."
@misery_star saari ladkiya Krishna ki fan hai @witchybitchygal @Atheist_Krishna,@misery_star all girls are fans of krishna @witchybitchygal @Atheist_Krishna
"my mama going to jacksonville saturday  , i would go but she want let me  , i'm on  "" punishment ""  .  ! ","my mother is going to jacksonville saturday, i would go but she would not let me because i am on punishment."
"so wot was supposed to happen next ??. U make it sound like U planted RDX in the lab or something !!! I dont get U , man !","so what was supposed to happen next ?. you make it sound like you planted RDX in the lab or something! I do not get you, man !"
yyaaro abhi abhi notice kiya  .  . jese hi news aai ki i ndia haar gya .  .  .  . to sab jagah dukhi ka maahol .  .,"friends, i have noticed just now that people every where are sad after listening to the news that india has lost."
kya lul post hai :p,such a dull post
watch band pad gai kya bhai aapki ....mere pass b thi apki jaisi ek bekar watch..maine OLX pe bech di,is you watch not working brother ...even i had a useless watch as yours..i have sent it on OLX.
RT @tathagata2 : Attended a meditation session with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji at Agartala . Afterwards had him to dinner at Raj Bhavan . Great e,@tathagata2 : Attended a meditation session with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji at Agartala . Afterwards I had taken him to dinner at Raj Bhavan . Great evening
fevi-quick ke sath sath sui dhaaga bhi de do unko,give them thread and needle along with the fevi-kwik
"going to finish watching the vow tomorrow  ,  its such a cute movie c:","going to finish watching the vow tomorrow , it is such a cute movie"
#kohli aur #rohit ki running dekh ke lag rha ki aaj dono run - out nhi hone wale ... #INDvAUS @BCCI,"after watching the running of #kohli and #rohit, i feel that they will not go runout today.. #INDvAUS @BCCI"
@Aribers jo bhi hai . Double Rotti khana is bad naseebi,"@Aribers whatever it is, eating Double Rotti is a bad luck."
yrrr aao na jaldi 4:14 bhi ho gye,friends come fast. it has already been 4:14
.@JhaSanjay muh band karne ke kitne lega ?pic.twitter.com/xsw4NcXJ7t,.@JhaSanjay how much do you take to have your mouth shut ?pic.twitter.com/xsw4NcXJ7t
@PJ_CRACKER bhai peene ke baad aadmi Chicken khayega ya aloobki sabzi?,"7@PJ_CRACKER brother, do people eat chicken or potato curry after drinking?"
Ye @akshaykanitkar Anna-data hai.,@akshaykanitkar is a philanthropist
done hai bhai #TedeMedeHoKeJaanaHai,brother it is done #TedeMedeHoKeJaanaHai
Husbands badi asaani se fanste hai.. doosro ki biwiyo se  https://twitter.com/swetlanakorni/status/814497553077047296 …,husbands get easily entangled with others' wives  https://twitter.com/swetlanakorni/status/814497553077047296 …
ab sirji bhi proof denge  @ArvindKejriwalpic.twitter.com/gciV3NQu8g,"now, sir wil also give a proof  @ArvindKejriwalpic.twitter.com/gciV3NQu8g"
"RT @mesmerizer_i : For me 2 Oct isn't gandhi jayanti.me celebrating d bday of great great l b shastri ji , gandhi was a self proclaimed "" mahat","@mesmerizer_i : For me 2nd October is not gandhi jayanti.i celebrate the birthday of great great lal bahadur shastri ji, gandhi was a self proclaimed  mahatma."
"knowing the movie industry in kumasi ,  a movie a titled  "" ayariga for president ""  may not be too far away .  please don't disappoint me#boxoffice","knowing the movie industry in kumasi ,  a movie which is titled  ""ayariga for president ""  may not be too far away .  please don't disappoint me#boxoffice"
"""Log ATM ki line main ghanto khade hain aur tum thoda der khada nahi rakh sakte"" pic.twitter.com/QqPMLj4VE5","""people are standing in the line of ATM since hours and why can not you stand for some time"" pic.twitter.com/QqPMLj4VE5"
@BakwasRadio @Ra_Bies Bhaai kaatilaana DP,@BakwasRadio @Ra_Bies brother your display picture has killer looks.
guddu akela hi parade dekh raha hai ?  ?  ?  shan kaha hai bhai ?  ?  ?  ?,"Is guddu wathcing the parade alone ? where is shan, brother?"
Aishwarya se bhi zyada heavy raay thi!,There is a heavier raay than Aishwarya
kya zeetv ke bahar agar koi pkode bechta hai to aap usey Business nahi mante ji ? #MakeInIndia #Vikas #ModiOnZee #Modi,"If someone sells snacks outside of Zeetv, won't you accept it as a businees? #MakeInIndia #Vikas #ModiOnZee #Modi"
@Panditvani dhanyawaad bhraata!,@Panditvani Thanks a lot brother 
Jab Bangladesh ko NO ball nahi diya #TabKahanTheTumhareAansoo? #Brangelina,When Bangladesh has not got no ball #then where are your tears? #brangelina
@BabaBenarasi bhar de kholi meri ya mohammed,@Bababenarasi Please fill mine or Mohammed
"bade maje se ghuma karte the hum bhi ,  .  ,  .  ;-)",We too have roamed with lots of enjoyment
@RegaJha China ka maal.. Chale to chand tak.. Nahi to shaam tak,@RegaJha Chinese products are either overrated or underrated
Ek bAat apki achchi nhi lgI... #Salman_Bhai... mekO pTa h aP bZy h bt vO bAat apKo ptA nhi chl paegi jab tak aP mekO cntct nhi krenge m apni bAat v clear nhi kr paunga,i did not like one thing about you #Salman_Bhai. i knew that you are busy but you will not know that thing until you contact me. even i cannot clear my point.
"*titanic hits the iceberg*
Mumbai Cop: Chal side la laav ship, chal lie-sense kaad lie-sense.",*titanic hits the ice*   Mumbai Cop: Park your ship aside and show me your licence card
"@sha_umang ghar ka aadmi hai, it's ok","@Sha_umang is the admin of the house, it is ok"
Theek hai bhai bahut hua ~~,Let's leave it brother.
"Padhaai ek baar, protest baar baar. #JNUhttps://twitter.com/aajtak/status/699772450943315968 …","Study once, Protest often. #JNUhttps://twitter.com/aajtak/status/699772450943315968 …"
@DelhiPolice 3 baar call Karne par police ek DJ nahin band karwa Sakti. Ussey aur kya umeed karien.,"@DelhiPolice even after calling police fo 3 times, they couldn't have shut the Dj. what to do with them!"
@PrachiSharma707 Ghalib ne ek din mein itne dohe nahi likhe hinge jitna apne tweet kar diya #Respect :P,@PrachiSharma707 ghalib could not have written as many couplets in a day as many as you have tweeted #Respect.
"Acha hua #Trump ne #modi Ko year ending me aane ko pahle he kehdiya "" warna ye kal Subha ki flight se US chalejata","It is good that #trump has informed earlier #Modi that he is arriving at the year ending. Otherwise, he might have boarded a flight to US."
"Laal rang mein, laal daal ke, laal carpet lagvayipic.twitter.com/0h39X0DgEm",The carpet is kept in red colour to put on the red colour on the carpet. pic.twitter.com/0h39X0DgEm
"Raja ko rani se pyar hogaya, pehli nazar mein bawla bekaar hogaya.",Raja has fell in love with Rani. he has demented at the first sight.
@akshaykanitkar maaf kar de bhai,@akshaykanitkar Frogive me brother
bhavya solanki you'd love such schools than ours xd,"Bhavya solanki, You would love such schools than that of ours"
"Japan ki aadhunik taknik se bana water purifier, haan bhai hamari taknik toh ghaas char rahi hai.","This water purifier is made using the latest technology of japan. yes, brother, Our technology  is grazing grass"
@someUSER friday's the main day !  !  !  !  knicks vs heat,@someUSER friday is the main day !  knicks vs heat
A historic day in Indian politics Chal Gayee jhaadoo Mit gaya phool Modi pooche shah se Chote kya ho gayee Bhool ??? #DelhiDecides,"A historic day in Indian politics. Swept the broom and lost th flower. Modi has asked Shah that ""What is a small mistake ???"" #DelhiDecides"
all the very best girl  .  .  .  but always remember that u r the best  .  .  the awesomest the way u r  .  .  .  .  :),All the very best girl. But always remember that you are the best. the awesomest the way you are
.@aloknath sir aap baat ko ghuma rahe hain :),"@aloknath sir, you are toiling around the same statement"
Sir ? Aap kabhi promotion ke liye odisha ayiye plz,"Sir, Please come to odisha for promotion whenever possible."
"@Syed_Zaidier @ZainabHanif One line :: bohat acchi friendly nature hai , acchi dost ho , bass achay achay khaane dikha dikha k khaati ho 😢💔","@Syed_Zaider @ZainabHanif One line :: Very good friendly nature, a good friend , Just you lures me and eat good food ."
Unhe shark ki nigahon se dekhna chahiye.https://twitter.com/Roflindian/status/666585892413280256 …,they want to look through eyes of the shark. https://twitter.com/Roflindian/status/666585892413280256 …
Paki media Chilla rhi #TRUMP ne #Dhamkaya hai !,Pakisthan media is shouting that #TRUMP is #threatened 
janta ke dilon ka betaaj baadshah hai Himesh.,Himesh is the crownless King of the hearts of the people.
@Gurmeetramrahim thank u sweeet sweeeet papa ji,@Gurmeetramrahim Thank you sweet daddy
@kingjulian147 @Alllahdin khullam khulla pyar karenge him dono,@kingjulian147 @Allahdin lets love each other at the fullest
"""Behen independence day ki taiyariyan shuru kar din?""
Barkha Dutt: "" Haan behen, 14 August ko din hi kitne bache hain""","""Sister, shall we start Independence day preparations?"". Barkha Dutt: ""ok sister, how many days left till 14th august?"""
@Rajsan2012 haan @RegaJha samaj gayee @timesofindia,@Rajsan2012 yes @RegaJha everyone understood @timesofindia
Ye kya he ... Last me hi Band Baj jati he hamesha #IndvsSA,What is this! The band bangs only at the end always #IndvsSA
"Hamein jo milna hai milega, tumhe sirf haar hi milegi.https://twitter.com/EffSyFaloodaxD/status/712701631406669825 …","we will get what we must get, you will only get failure.https://twitter.com/EffSyFaloodaxD/status/712701631406669825 …"
RT @sona2905 : ' Bharat Mata ki jai ' not open to debate : Amit Shah https://t.co/4LxBXK7Oel,@sona2905 : ' hail mother india ' is not open to debate : Amit Shah https://t.co/4LxBXK7Oel
"@NumbYaar @jaybeelwar Jab tak baithne ke liye na kaha jaaye, chup chap khade raho. Yeh TL hai tumhare baap ka ghar nahin.",@NumbYaar @jaybeelwar keep standing silently until you are asked to sit. This is TL but not your own house.
"Bas kar bahen, ro mat. Kal holi hai, thoda pani bacha le.","stop it sister, do not cry. it is holi tomorrow, save some water."
@indiantweeter bhai kisi ne nahi dekha. Kyu chah raha hai ki koi tere naam ki supari de de! @facepalm92,"@indiantweeter brother, Nobody have seen it. Why do you want somebody to execute you! @facepalm92"
@Sychlops bhai kal sab kuch ho chuka hai slowpoke,@Sychlops brother everything was done slowpoke
@lammpat @Ra_Bies Haathi bola,@lammpat @Ra_Bies I said elephant
is seat me girne ka koi chance nhi hai .  .  .  . :p,there is no chance of falling down from this seat
tension mat lo dosto  .  .  thode din baad iska break up wala confession bhi aayega  .  .  pakka  .  .,"Don't worry friends, after few days his confession of break up will definetly come."
Main mazak kar raha tha. Tum toh bigad gayi,I was joking. You became angry.
"Roz ka naya natak, petrol nahi ladki ka bhaav khaana hogaya.https://twitter.com/PTI_News/status/717028240670339072 …","New drama everyday,"
aur hum unko aur zyada rulaenge @TimesNow,"And we will make them cry more, @TimesNow."
@YouDontKnowWho_ aaj to paka diya bhai,"@YouDontKnowWho_, made me bored, today."
@pillya thank you Azam @1CricFan bhai ... aap bahut achche ho :),"@pillya, thank you Azam. @1CricFan brother you are very good."
@someUSER i don't see c .  edwards doing anything but racing hard on thurs in duels on @someUSER i'm sure he will be smart though !,@someUSER I don't see edwards doing anything but racing hard on thursday in duels on @someUSER I'm sure he will be smart though !
"@Funny_Deol @imrkathi akhir kab tak bjp rahegi khamosh kabhi to bolna hi padega

#BiharKaJaichandShatrughan","@Funny_Deol @imrkathi till when will BJP remain silent, it has to speak up on someday
#BiharKaJaichandShatrughan"
"bhai,tu kaha hain","Brother, where are you?"
Yahi Haqeeqat hai #JNU aur #DU jaise bade university ki 0 Hamare tax k paise pe aish 0 Aur fir desh aur Jawanon ko gaali 0 @narendramodi,This is the reality of huge universities like #JNU and #DU i.e to enjoy from money paid by taxpayers and then to use abusive words for our soldiers. @narendramodi
Har Har Mahadev .. BamBam Bhole .. Om Namah Shivah .. Happy #Mahashivratri @Modi_G @Pragnik @Drshobha @bond_004,"Har Har Mahadev', 'BamBam Bhole', 'Om Namah Shivah', Happy #Mahashivratri @Modi_G @Pragnik @Drshobha @bond_004"
@Vyomnaut sahi kaha.. Mujhe to jhoota case lagta hai,"@Vyomnaut well said, I think the case was a fraud."
"#ModiG Ab Bus bhi Karo "" kabtalak chorhte Rahoge 0 Le liye #UP #EVM ki Madad se "" Ab jao ghumne #America #Trump k PAS 0 #HoliHai","#ModiG Now, stop it, till when will you steal #UP with the help of #EVM, now go for a trip to #America with #Trump.#HoliHai"
"Jaanu, aaj raat ka scene bana le - Ranaji",Darling let's make a scene for tonight.- Ranaji
is game ke liye kya kya nahi kiya  .  .  .  .  .  .  kash koi le aye vo previous din :(,"For this game what not I had done, I hope those old days can be brought back."
Unkle ne mast garma garam imarti banayee hai..  https://twitter.com/vallyetta/status/642949881921802240 …,Uncle has made a nice hot building. https://twitter.com/vallyetta/status/642949881921802240 …
Ap sub ki firki le rhe ho kya'?,Are you making fun of everyone?
Thnks buds! Kabhi kabhi aajate hai achhe photos,"Thank you buddy, Sometime good photos are captured."
AC ka bill dekh kar paseena aa gaya.,Sweated after looking at AC bill.
"It's wrong to say ""ab aaya oont pahad ke neeche"" for Tanmay Bhatt. Should be ab aaya haathi pahad ke neeche.","It's wrong to say, ""Now, the camel has come under mountain."", for Tanmay Bhatt. Should be ""Now the elephant is under the mountain""."
@LEDtvn hum ssamne wale ki shakal dekh kar rate lagate hai ,) @friendlii_ghost
Gaaliyo pe kiska copyright hota hai bhala.,Who have copyright on abusive words?
are bhai...kese kare bat ye toh batao koi....,"Hey brother, someone tell me how to talk?"
10 lakh ka suit wale khadi nahi pahen sakte .  uncomfortable hota hai .  vase chai wale jaror pahen sakte hai .  kya hai majra aur kya hai hakikat .,"People with suit worth million can't wear Khadi, it will be uncomfortable, by the way tea seller can defintely wear it. This is the whole scene and reality."
Shukriya Sengar Sahab! Aapke tweet ke baad toh aur chaar chaand lag gaye!,Thanks Sengar Sahab! After your tweet moonlight is added to us.
"Australia ke saath abhi jeete nahi hai, magar NZ ke saath final kaise jeetenge iss soch mein bhartiya yuvak on twitter. #NZvSA","Indian youth on twitter thinking that - We have not won against Australia yet, but how would we win final with NZ? #NZvSA"
"@clued_up_chic nahi tum aajao, pocha hai sirf tumhe pocha lagaana padega bas :-*","@clued_up_chic No, you come, you have done dusting only, you have to do wiping."
@slimswamy Bhaiya ab campus koi khabar nahi,"@slimswamy brother now campus, no information."
modi ki tyre puncture ho rahi hai .  .  .  .,Modi's tyre is getting punctured.
@LoKarDi_RT tu kyu side le raha hai? :-/,"@LoKarDi_RT, why are you taking (his) side?"
@someUSER good point !  ash wednesday isn't a day of obligation ?  i've never missed one .,"@someUSER, good point! Ash Wednesday isn't a day of obligation? I've never missed one."
@WatDaDuck_ bhai starting to me aap hi RT karte tha.. Hum to aapke aavhari ta-umr rahenge @twinitisha,@WatDaDuck_ Brother I was initailly retweeting you only. I will be thankful to @twinitisha for whole life.
Kal raat ko Kanhayia Kumar hero bana tha.. Aaj raat tak to wo Aam Aadmi Party ka CM bhi ban jayega.. Jai ho Bharat!!!,"Yesterday night, Kanhaiya Kumar became hero. Till tonight, he will have become the the CM of Aam Aadmi Party, too. 'Jai ho Bharat!'"
"@Alllahdin achha hua daaru ki baat nahi ki, nas kaat kar usmein se whisky pi jaaye hamaari aadam khor janta!",@Alllahdin thanks you didn't talk about drink else our carnivores public will drink whisky by cuuting our veins.
@itsdhruvism bhai dawai le le,"@itsdhruvism, brother, take medicines."
@ohhmygold Accha funny kaise hotey hai ! samjhana !,@ohhmygold Tell me have to be funny? Explain!
"After '''' Produce 101 '''' success , Mnet to launch boy band survival show - Korea Times https://t.co/9nMDmLJ0sA","After Produce 101 success , Mnet to launch boy band survival show - Korea Times https://t.co/9nMDmLJ0sA"
Seriously ... Kaha se aate hai ye log ... kuch bhi .. #Hilarious #Bitcoin,Seriously! From where do these people come? Anything! #Hilarious #Bitcoin
"#Bail4SalmanYnot4Bapuji

Aye mere watan ke logon zara aankh mein bhar lo paani.","#Bail4SalmanYnot4Bapuji Hey people of this country, get some tears in eyes."
@HathwalaThakur hahaa.. Hope tere ghar aisa na ho ,)
Yograj uncle se phone karao. Shabnam aunty ke hath ki biryani khilao. Hazel bhabhi ki photo dikhao. Kuch to karao koi yaar.,Make an call from Yograj Uncle. Serve him the biryani of Shabnam aunty. Show him the photo of Hazel bhabhi. Atleast someone do something.
"isme teri koi galti nahi hai  ,  general walo ko admission kaha milta hai :/",This is not your fault. Where do general people get admission?!
Pine ke liye socha hi nahi aansoo nikaalne honge :'(,"For drinking you don't have to think, just let your tears come out."
#MumbaiTaughtMe DAT Knowing the local language is like Half war win .,#MumbaiTaughtMe that knowing the local language is like winning half the war.
@PrernaBisht11 di aap bhi meri tarah saari padhai khatam karke abhi badminton dekhne jaa rahe ho ? #pvsindhu,@PrernaBisht11 have you also finished all your work like me and are you going to watch badminton now? #pvsindhu
.@oothikicha bhai wapis aa ja. Dil pe mat le.,".@oothikicha bro come back, dont take it to heart."
Tujhe flight ke loye late nahi horaha?,Aren't u getting late for the flight?
"Yerwada to Sanjay Dutt is like lonavala to Mumbaikar's, mood aaya chale gaye.","Yerwada to Sanjay Dutt is like lonavala to Mumbaikar's, got in the mood, went for it."
"#MySalaryIsLike ""bhai kuch paise udhaar de de""","#MySalaryIsLike ""bro, lend me some money please"""
@dhaval241086 abe galti se block button dab gaya..,@dhaval241086 I clicked on the block button by mistake.
"Na sadak na naukri
bas badh rahi gundagardi #FailedCMNitish","Neither a street, nor a job, just the increase of crime #FailedCMNitish"
@bhaiyyajispeaks Hum to hamesha aapke saath hai Bhaiyya ji,"@bhaiyyajispeaks were always with you, brother."
"WTH? Me hot?
*khushi ke aansoo* 
Hot aap ho",Wth? Me hot? *tears of joy* youre hot.
guddu ki to halat kharab hai .  .  .  .  .  .  use to ab itni garmi lag rhi hogi jitni ki delhi ki summer me lagti h .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  :p :d,guddu is unwell . . . . . . Hes probably feeling the same amount of heat that the Delhi summer provides . . . . . . . . :p :d
Sir plz reply us ... Hum kab se rah dekh rahe hai apki :(,Sir plase reply ... Weve been waitig for a long time :(
@IamMansoorKhan ye bhi accha hai 😍 ONE MONTH FOR FAN,"@IamMansoorKhan this is also nice, one month for fan"
my trick or treating will happen tomorrow night .  . at walgreens .  .  .  . in the candy aisle .,"my trick or treating will happen tomorrow night, at walgreens, in the candy aisle."
bhaijan kolkata ka har log ready.....up ekbar kolkatame aajao,"Brother, everyone in Kolkata is ready, come to Kolkata once"
@imjadeja sirji aap toh cha gaye !! Kya khela apne !! Proud of you #IndvsPak,"@imjadeja sir, you were amazing, you played well, proud of you #IndvsPak"
#Trump ka toh #Ban chalo samajh me aata hai 0 Lekin ye #kuwait wale kab se #RSS ke #Agent ho gaye 0,"The #Ban of #Trump is understandable, but these guys from #kuwait have all become an #RSS #Agent"
throw to mai hi kholunga baba .  .  .  .  touch krte hi sixer,"I will open the throw, the instant it touches it’ll be a six"
"India ke batsmen is match se kuch aur seekhe na seekhe, virat se 10-12 nayi gaaliyan jarur seekhenge.","India’s batsmen may or may not have learnt something from this match, but they definitely learnt 10-12 new cuss words from virat."
bhai guddu .  .  . road safety naam ki bhi koi cheez hoti hai .  .  . pappa mumma ko boliyo helmet ke liye,"Guddu bro, there’s something called road safety, ask your mom and dad to get you a helmet"
isme unemployment newpaper bhi latka dete .  .  .,They could have put the unemployment newspaper here as well.
Aap na hi dekhein toh achha hai  https://twitter.com/prithurajsingh/status/703826894328721408 …,Its better if you dont see this https://twitter.com/prithurajsingh/status/703826894328721408 …
@AapGhumaKeLeyLo ab dono itni derr se paani me khade hai.. To saaf ho gaye @Being_Humor @tweetfromRaghu,"@AapGhumaKeLeyLo Now both of them have been standing in the water for so long, that theyre clean. @Being_Humor @tweetfromRaghu"
aaj @iamGunjanGrunge ka ac hack karke dekhta hu kitni ladkiyo se ek saath flirt karta haipic.twitter.com/8i2HUD4C4a,"Today I will hack @iamGunjanGrunge ‘s account. Lets see how many girls he flirst with, pic.twitter.com/8i2HUD4C4a"
Abhi khatam kahan hua?,It isn’t over yet.
Inke jeewan ka uddesh sirf susu karna hai aisa maloom hota hai.https://twitter.com/mitandas/status/839497432597581824 …,"Its made clear that his life goals are just, peeing. https://twitter.com/mitandas/status/839497432597581824 …"
ye tumse na ho payega .  .  .,You wont be able to do this.
@Localheroin @kitAnurag iske mundan ka hi video hai,@Localheroin @kitAnurag this is a video of his ‘mundan’.
#MinimumBalance #GST sharam aane chahiye ab to Modi Modi Kehne walo Bhako ko .. No More Hopes From #NDA .. #ManmohanSingh was far better,"#MinimumBalance #GST the people who chant Modis name should be embarresed now, no more hopes from #NDA. #ManmohanSingh was far better."
@TweetErrant wadiya.. Germany kab jaa raha hai,"@TweetErrant wadiya, when’s Germany leaving?"
"@BrushUrTeeth_03 matlab jo puchha hai uska jawab nahi de rahe ho, theek hai. Koi na, yaad rakho.","@BrushUrTeeth_03 basically you dont want to answer the question thats being asked. Alright, remember this."
.@Atheist_Krishna thand tere dimaag me ghus gayee hai chote @dhaval241086pic.twitter.com/PHwW9uuU4D,".@Atheist_Krishna cold has reached ypur brain,'chote' @dhaval241086pic.twitter.com/PHwW9uuU4D"
Yeh to #Dhoni aur #Kohli se tez inning khelti hai ...!,She plays faster innings than #Dhoni and #Kholi.
"Bhai hme Congress ko vote dekar Kasmir Pakistan ko nhi deni ""hai Muslim virodhi hote to #TripleTalaq pe ban nhi hota "" samjhe","Brother we don't have to give Kashmir to Pakistan by voting Congress.""if they were anti-muslim then they haven't ban #TripleTalaq"" Understood?"
"""Naam : Viv Richards
Baap ka naam : Master Dinanath Richards
Maa ka naam : Suhasini Richards
Gaanv : Mandva""
- remains in Viv's drafts","""Name : Viv Richards Fathers Name : Master Dinanath Richards Mothers Name : Suhasini Richards Home Town : Mandva"" - remains in Viv's drafts"
"Baite rahiye , kahi na jaayiye ... #RahulGandhi jald hi lautenge ek chote se break ke baad . #RahulOnLeave","Dont leave your seats. #RahulGandhi will be back soon, right after this break. #RahulOnLeave"
"Thanks bhai bas pyar barkarar rahe, subscribe kar lijiyega","Thanks bro, lets just hope the love stays alive. Please subscribe."
Kejriwal - Modi ji ye aapki Degrees fake hain . Modi- Maalum hai ... AAPke Tomar ji se hi toh banwaai hain .,"Kejriwal - Mr.Modi, your degrees are fake. Modi- Yeah, I got them made from your friend, Mr.Tomar."
"Salman ji aapki film super duper hit ho.sare record break kre.Ginnes book of record me naam ho jaye aapki film ka.Aap reply kro ,ya na kro ham to aapke liye pray krte hi rahenge.Amen!!!!","Salman, may your film becomes Superhit, breaks all the record. May your film get nominated in Guiness Book of world record. Whether you reply or not we will continue to pray for you.""Amen"""
@Madan_Chikna bas tu ladki taiyaar rakh.,@Madan_Chikna just keep a girl ready.
Kyuki saray pakistani umar akmal jese dikhtay hainhttps://twitter.com/mahnoor/status/808363001963167744 …,Because all Pakistani looks like Umar Akmal. https://twitter.com/mahnoor/status/808363001963167744 …
@_Alisha_Francis mujhe to aajkal Whatsapp nahi kiya tumne,@_Alisha_Francis you haven’t Whatsapped me recently
@UnSubtleDesi bhai Kapil the IITian se compare nahi kiya.. Yehi kafi hai  @AdvancedMaushi,@UnSubtleDesi brother did'nt compare with Kapil the IITian.That is enough. @AdvancedMaushi
"when i was a kid ,  even i use to dream this kind of school .  .  .  guess i am not the only one who imagine to live life in a parallel universe .  .  . ","When i was a kid, I used to dream of this kind of a school. Guess I’m not the only one who imagined how it would be to live life in a parallel universe."
#IndvsPak imraan Khan ki reputation kharab kr di inn logo ne . #wt20,#IndvsPak These guys ruined Imraan Khans reputation. #wt20
@ToMainuKi Bihar ko hai bas modi raj ka intezar #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar,@ToMainuKi Bihar awaits Modi #BadliyeSarkarBadliyeBihar
Ravi Kumar hostel 15 mei ladko ladkiyo ko milne wala hai ... kuch dino ka intezaar karlo ....,Ravi Kumaar is going to meet all the girls and boys in hostel 15. Wait for a few days.
Nitish ji Tantr mantr jhaad phook.. Jo bante bane sab kar lo #YoNitishSoTantrik,"Nitish whatever type of black magic you do.What all you can do, do all #YoNitishSoTantrik"
"Abi tk chhar n bje k konsi ghadi lga rki h,,",Its not even 4 yet! What watch is he using?
"Hatto ji, yahan bolne sharm aayegi!","No ma’am, it will be embarrassing to say here."
"@AmitShah ji @rajnathsingh hamare #MannKiBaat bhi sun lijiye "" sabhi courts me video recording karvaye taki garib janata ko bhi nyay mil sake",@AmitShah @rajnathsingh listen our #MannKiBaat also. Make sure all courts hearing have video recording so that poor people can also get justice.
@balliawalebaba hum to badhiya hai BaBa.. Aap kaisen ho,"@balliawalebaba We are great, baba. How are you?"
@amitrawat39 @ggiittiikkaa Photoshop hai yar itna to samjho,@amitrawat39 @ggiittiikkaa Atleast understand that its photoshop.
lv u salman..kya kr rahe h ap sona..,"Love you Salman, What are you doing my dear?"
"@makemytrip #DilKehtaHai Itni door chala jaaye Ke zindagi paas as jaye, apne kareeb ho aur gam door ho jaaye","@makemytrip Heart says to go so far away such that life comes closer, People I know gets closer to me and sorrow goes away"
:( kuchh purani yade taja ho gayi !,Some old memories are refreshed !
Remembered Marriage of Shakti in Munimji . O Shivji Bihane Chale by Hemant Kumar . https://t.co/AUINRKpdWp # #MahaShivratri,Remembered marraige of Shakti in Munimji. O Shivji Bihane Chale by Hemant Kumar. https://t.co/AUINRKpdWp #MahaShivratri
@zzoker hahaha.. secular media bhi same aise karta hai,"@zzoker Hahaha, Secular media also does the same."
@Neelkhan0209 @QuidEAzam1948 @NasimZehra tu kholi KANTAY laga kay khela tha demagh se khela tha chawalien nahi marien us ne and INDIA win,"@Neelkhan0209 @QuidEAzam1948 @NasimZehra Kohli played the game using his mind, he did not played over-confidently and because of that india won"
apne sahi kaha  .  . vote fr app,"You are right, vote for app"
"all the best+EID MUBARAK 2 SALMAN,LOTS OF REGARD2 ELDERS+LOTS OF AFFECTION&LOVE2 young!","All the best, EID Mubarak to Salman, lots of regards to elders, lot of affection and love to young."
#map: somalia: somali refugees in the region - as of 31 october 2012 http/URL #un,"#map: Somalia: Somali refugees in the region - as of 31 october 2012 ,http/url #un"
"#khakra #GST @narendramodi ModiJi Chole ""Bhature Chilli Potato Ka bhi price me kuch bargain ho jae too.","#khakra #GST @narendramodi Modi sir, It would be great if there is some bargain in Chole Bhature and Chili Potato"
@the_queeness tumhe bulate bhi hai Kya meeting main ?,@the_queeness Are you even invited in the meeting?
aaj sach kyu nahi bolti phir?,Why don't you say truth today?
who's going to pumpkins and pancakes at @someUSER october 28 ?  #halloween,Who is going to pumpkins and pancakes at @someUSER on october 28? #halloween
@Alllahdin bhai bajre ki roti khani hai to marwar aaja. Ye to uski replica hai bus.,@Alllahdin Brother If you want to eat millet bread then you should come to Marwar. This is just a replica of that.
monta ellis / ellis provided just five points on 2-of-13 shooting thursday http/URL #nba #playersnews,Monta Ellis provided just five points on 2 of 13 shooting on thursday. http/URL #nba #playersnews
ise koi mudda to mila ni  . kyunki govt is doing good work even .  p m has given good response  . so anna has no more issues  .,"He did not found any issues because government is doing good work. Prime Minister has given good response, So Anna has no more issues"
@Madan_Chikna gareeb ka kya hai.. Jo kisi ne pyaar se diya.  Le liya,"@Madan_Chikna What about poors, If someone give them something with love they take it."
Seedha bolun to @AdarshLiberal ke less than 10 memes dekh ke pure #AdarshLiberal toli ki fati padi hai.,"Speaking directly, the entire #AdarshLiberal team is scared after watching 10 memes of @AdarshLiberal."
@FarhanKVirk teri kyu jal rahi hai?,@FarhanKVirk Why are you jealous?
bhai gif se ladki nahi patati..  @runjhunmehrotra,Brother GIF's won't impress girls.. @runjhunmehrotra
Midweek dhingana chal raha hai?,Does midweek is going alright?
@engineeroholic @iamkits kai angles ho sakte hain :),@engineeroholic @iamkits There may be many angles.
"lol ,  outstanding .  guddu is too good","Lol, Outstanding, Guddu is too good."
Abhishek - Poore stage Pe Ek hi Legend Rah sakta hain ... Aur Iss stage ka Legend Me hoon .. #IndvsPak https://t.co/Sk06OQhCRS,Abhishek - There can only be one legend on whole stage and I am the legend of this stage. #IndvsPak https://t.co/Sk06OQhCRS
"Delhi mein ho rahi baarish, Chicago mein nahi. Duh",It's raining in Delhi and not in Chicago.
"""Viru: Yaad hai jab 2003 me aapke over me Sachin ne 20 runs maare the
Shoaib: Aapko mera kuch acha bhi yaad hai"" ROFLCOPTER #IndvsAus",Viru: Remember in 2003 Sachin scored 20 runs in your over. Shoaib: Do you even remember my good moments? ROFLCOPTER #IndvsAus
#Rahulgandhi sir itna shark size ka ghotala kiya aapke porkho ne to ab zabab dena aapki duty hai agar dam hai to acepted kiziye nehi to ham innocent hai bata do .......,"#Rahulgandhi sir you and your party have done a lot of problems, you've to reply to us it's your duty. If you have guts then accept it otherwise tell that we are innocent"
Yaha @faasos wale cheekh cheekh kar discount de rahe hai aur tumlog maggi mein lage pade ho?https://twitter.com/faasos/status/605353057388339201 …,Here @faasos is giving so much of discount and you all are behind maggi. https://twitter.com/faasos/status/605353057388339201
"Naam mein kya rakha  hai? 
Ans: Last name, inter caste shaadi tumhara baap agree thode hi karega","What's in the name? Ans: Last name, Inter caste marriage. Your father would not even agree."
"Hogi Pakistan ki haar, jab maarega Kohli bhai maar! #indvsPak","Pakistan will lose, when kohli will play awesome shots! #indvsPak"
u both hv only option nw  .  .  .  jst b frnds n hlp each other in evry problm  .  :),"Both of you have only one option now, Just be friends and help each other in every problem."
Apke liye possible nai hai sbko persanaly reply krna to apne ek bar me sbko thanx bol diya..acha hai..,It's not possible for you to personally reply to everyone. So you said thanks to everyone at once. That's good.
@twinitisha kaun se driver se karwaya ?,@twinitisha Which driver got it done?
"@someUSER getting my xbox back tomorrow !  honestly can't wait !  - my friends wants a competitive 3v3 ,  see if cole is up for it man ! ",@someUser I am getting my Xbox tommorow! Honestly can't wait! My friends want to play a 3 vs 3 competitive. Let's see if Cole is up for it man!
"humne jhagde solve kar liye hai, ab sirf pyar hai.","We have solved our problems, now it's only love between us."
"Jab 50-50 kosh dur gaon me koi bacha rota hai to uski ma use kehti hai ""so ja warna Asaram aa jayega""","When a child cries in a village 50-50 miles away, his mother tells him ""go to sleep or else Asaram will come"""
@TweetErrant tu hai hi cheez,@TweetErrant You are the only thing
cupid and psyche isn't an original greek myth .  it was a story in the golden ass by apuleius and often cited as the 1st fairy tale .,Cupid and Psyche isn't an original greek myth . It was a story in the golden ass by Apuleius and often cited as the 1st fairy tale .
@BABURAO_ sure. Bahut badi size hai,@BABURAO_ sure. It's too large.
"Ye dil tere sadge mein kuch aise jhuk gaya,
Jaata hua zamaana bhi meri gaan maarne ke liye ruk gaya.
#AdaabArzHai","This heart bowed like something in your life, 
Even the passing time stopped to kill my life. 
#Adabarzah"
@BolshoyBooze @oxymoronic_me waah irshaad irshaad irshaad!!,@BolshoyBooze @oxymoronic_me waah Irshaad Irshaad Irshaad!
@kyaYaarKuchBii wale kum as salaam.. Bhai jaan kaise ho,@kyaYaarKuchBii Walekumassalaam! How are you brother?
".@tandonraveena pranam maate! ambe, amba, ambalika, jai mata di, shashtang pranam!","@tandonraveena Bow to you maate! ambe, amba, ambalika, jai mata di, shashtang pranam!"
@LaliJogan37 Ye sab babuji ke hi to karam hai @witchybitchygal,@LaliJogan37 All of this is father's work. @witchybitchygal
"jo gaya woh gaya, jaane wale ko kaun rok sakta hai? Kyu poocha?","Once gone, who can stop the one who is gone? Why do you ask?"
Kuch toh baat hai bande mein... jo itne logon k dil me rehta hai....,"There's something special in that guy, Who is in the heart of so many people."
1rs mai 10 min khelne milta tha .  .  .  . wo bhi line mai .  .  .  .,We used to play 10 min in 1rs continiously.
guddu ki prestige pe laat maarkar bahar kardiya .  .  .,Guddu's prestige was kicked out
* news : #** ... Haal To Ab Bhi Wohi Hai ........ * Ali *....** ... Jai$ey Bachpan Mein Rotey Rotey $oya Karte They ...!,"News: Condition is still the same, like it's used to be during childhood when we used to sleep while crying"
@ChickenBiryanii beer pahuncha diyo bas,@ChickenBiryani Send beer that's it.
Salman sahab aap to meri aawaj sunenge nahi.Phir bhi aawaj laga raha hun.,Salman Sir you are not going to listen to me. Even though I'm calling you.
Koi na shyad centre finance ministers/ state finance ministers ko bhi bol do to vo bhi na kar paaye.#GST,"No problem, Even if we tell centre finance ministers/ state fincance ministers then they won't be able to do the same. #GST"
@Priya_Menon Lagta hai chai thodi zyaada strong ban gayi @oothikicha,@Priya_Menon It seems like tea made is strong flavoured @oothikicha
@sidin Ache ke saath ache free?,@sidin Goods free with goods?
#Temper #MahaShivratri spl mid ni8 shows @ Lakshmikala nd Shasikala ( Moosapet ) 12:45 am in both,#Temper #MahaShivratri Special midnight shows at Lakshmikala and Shasikala(Moosapet) at 12:45am
"RT @RoflGandhi_ : Match Hotstar par dekhna hai , isliye no Live tweeting .. sara suspense mar jata hai .. yahan log ball fenkne se pahle score ba…","RT @RoflGandhi_ : Watched match on Hotstar, hence no live tweeting. Because of that whole suspense gets ruined. Here people predicts the score before the bowling."
GOPI VAHU.. JAA MERE LIYE KHAMBA KELAR HAA.,"Gopi daughter in law, Go and bring beer for me."
today is national kissing day coz it's no work day tomorrow !  !  !,Today is national kissing day. Because it's not a working day tommorow!
@Ra_Bies kambal mein patthar lapet ke maara hai Guruji.,"@Ra_Bies Beaten with stones wrapped in blankets, Guruji"
Oho! Galti se mistake ho gaya. #facepalmhttps://twitter.com/IndiaToday/status/748800310986960896 …,Oh! Mistake happened accidentaly. #facepalmhttps://twitter.com/IndiaToday/status/748800310986960896
Delhi Mai kanun uthai giro ka ho gya h rape Shoot out robbery aam baat h sahi Kaha na @DelhiPolice @ArvindKejriwal @narendramodi @sudhirchaudhary @sardanarohit,"Delhi has becaame the city of kidnappers, rape, shootout, robbey all this is normal am I saying correct@DelhiPolice @ArvindKejriwal @narendramodi @sudhirchaudhary @sardanarohit"
"november: my birthday month ,  election day ,  a weekend in san fran with @someUSER naples for thanksgiving ,  lots of friends &amp; family .  yes . ","November: My birthday month, Election day, A weekend in San Francisco with @someUSER naples for thanksgiving, lot of friends and family. Yes."
Que: Shuru kisne kiya?https://twitter.com/sardesairajdeep/status/626796711638241280 …,Question: Who started this? https://twitter.com/sardesairajdeep/status/626796711638241280
@The_Sleigher bhai maaf karde,@The_Sleigher Brother please forgive me.
so many people won't get it .  .  .  even i din get it in first time ether .  .  .  but thoda sa apani moti budhhi pe zor dala to samajh aagaya .  .  .,"So most of the people won't get it, even I didn't got it in first time either. But forced my fat brain and understood."
@Sohni_Bose tumhare naam ka kya matlab hai? Ficudis Akhiles?,@Sohni_Bose What is the meaning of your name? Ficudis Akhiles?
@LeftArmOver_ bheeshan garmi che kaka,@LeftArmOver_ It's so hot here uncle
just watched the campaign with will ferrell and zack galafianakis .  .  .  good fun for a wednesday .  #hilarious,Just watched the campaign with Ferrell and Zack Galafianakis. Good fun for wednesday. #hilarious
"@huh_watnow Bhoot Pishach Nikat Nahi Aave, Mahavir Jab Naaam Sunave","@huh_watnow Ghost vampires did not come near, Mahavir when the name was heard"
@India_Policy @mkatju yeh to kuch bhi nahihttp://www.opindia.com/2015/01/pearls-of-wisdom-from-justice-katju/ …,@India_Policy @mkatju This is anything nahihttp://www.opindia.com/2015/01/pearls-of-wisdom-from-justice-katju/ …
@Tweepshikha bakwaas hai saale,@Tweepshikha It's nonsense.
@Ares_c3108 aankhon ki gustakhiyan maaf ho,@Ares_c3108 please forgive the eye interruption of ours.
"Modi: Ye gaadi kaunse desh jaegi?

Girl: Ye mental hosp jaegi

Modi: Hehe..Mein to Kejriwal le liye pooch raha tha..pic.twitter.com/QKB9KJaGzF",Modi: Where will this vehicle go? Girl: This will go to mental hospital
first the superbowl now revel will finally be released on dvd on nov 24th !  my day is complete !  !  !  !  oh how i love my bey,First the superbowl now reveal will finally be released on DvD on nov 24th ! My day is complete ! Oh how i love my bay
Aisa mat karo ladki ke saath re haramkhoronhttps://twitter.com/KalyaniAdhav/status/893865930308034560 …,Don't do this to girl bastards. https://twitter.com/KalyaniAdhav/status/893865930308034560
@Jamuntini Dost dost naa raha.. Pyaar Pyaar na raha.,@Jamuntini Friend ain't no friend anymore. Love ain't love anymore.
"@aashikapokharel Haha okay . Office time , aba bus ma bore hune wala chhu . Also , Alumni ko imp kaam chha . Viber ma aaye hune . :P","@aashikapokharel Haha okay. Office time, I am gonna get bored. Also alumni has important work to do. They've come to viber."
@TweetErrant Haha.. Abhi to party shuru huee hai,@TweetErrant Haha.. Party is just started
mujhe samajh nhi aa rha kya comment karu jo socha wo sabi logo ne kar diye  .  .,"I don't know what I should comment, All that I thought is already commented by others."
oh teri .  .  . insan h ya robot,"Oh my, Are you a human or robot?"
ho ske to team srinivasan se b resign kar dena bhai .  .  ,) :p :d
"22 lakh aur hote to pure 50 ho jate aur ""O"" aur ""U"" bhi complete ho jata.pic.twitter.com/WKmIcmLCTS","If I had 22 lakhs more then my 50 lakhs can get completed, also ""O"" and ""U"" may get completed. pic.twitter.com/WKmIcmLCTS"
@KyaUkhaadLega @Ra_Bies Ye nahi huwa. Ek hi bacha tha!https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/704628096989663235 …,@KyaUkhaadLega @Ra_Bies This didn't happened. There was only one child! https://twitter.com/AdvancedMaushi/status/704628096989663235 …
so i thought yesterday was tuesday .  i'm thinking today will be a little like the movie ground hog day .,So I thought yesterday was tuesday. I'm thinking today will be a little like the movie ground hog day .
@dipali_sh0 looking awesome ... mujhe tumhare red red lips bahut pasand aye,@dipali_sh0 Looking awesome ... I like your red lips very much.
@indiantweeter thanks bhai. Aaj modiji zinda hote to kitna khush hote.,@indiantweeter Thanks brother. Today if modi sir was alive then he would have been so happy.
"naya hai, try karo Mishraji","This is new, try it Mishraji."
"garbage bin ,  kahan gayab ho jate ho .  .  :(","Garbage bin, Where do you get lost?"
aaj pata chala ki melody itni chocolaty kyun hai  .  .  :p,Today I knew that why Melody is this much chocolaty.
@ashkaikini main aaj ki baat nahi kar raha. God.,"@ashkaikini, I am not talking about Today. God."
"@indiantweeter do ladkon ka naam leta hai, fir bolta hai kisiko janam diya, yeh tareef hai? @bhak_sala","@indiantweeter Takes the name of two boys, Then says, gave birth to someone, Is it a compliment? @bhak_sala"
@_SandSurfer jaa maggi bana,"@_SandSurfer, go and make maggi."
Har cheez ki ek limit hoti hai yaarpic.twitter.com/0HHxK3GT46,"Everything has some limitation, friend. pic.twitter.com/0HHxK3GT46"
chalo kam se kam #silver toh pakka ho gaya .. The disease which keep us far away from #Gold 0,Finally #silver is confirmed. The disease which keep us far away from #Gold 0
book seller ki shop pe bhi guddu ki hi photo latki hui h .  .  .  .  . :-):-p:-d,Even at book seller's shop Guddu's photo is hanged.
Girls not allowed without Puja thali and a nariyal in Chandigarh pubs . #SanskaariChandigarh,Girls not allowed without Puja Plate and a coconut in Chandigarh pubs . #SanskaariChandigarh
"@RoflGandhi_ guru gud rah gaye, chele chini ho gaye. ","@RoflGandhi_ guru Jaggery is left, the disciples become sugar."
"Abhijit Mukherjee: Ramesh! 
Abhijeet: Suresh!
Arnab: Khikhikhi","Abhijit Mukherjee: Ramesh! 
Abhijeet: Suresh! 
Arnab: Hehehe"
@TripathiGaurav Ha ha. Ussi level ka hai.,@TripathiGaurav Haha. he's of that level.
sahi h ekdum .  .,Perfect.
"to follow up on last tweet ,  bills dt kyle williams expected to play sunday .  just resting the ankle during the week . ","To follow up on last tweet , bills that kyle williams expected to pay on sunday. Just resting the ankle during the week ."
"har mazhab me ye likha hai ""karo apne dil ki"" ","In every religion it is written ""Do what your heart says"""
Par phele charging stations bana doh ! Gaadi agar charge nahi hogi toh chalegi kaise ?,First create some charging stations! If vechicle won't get charged then how will it work?
Goli maarni hai toh mujhay maaro  ~ Nirupa Roy. Circa 1970s.,If you want to shoot then shoot me ~ Nirupa Roy. Circa 1970s.
@shubbhu_chinggg Lalu aur nitish dono ek hi sikke k 2 pahelu #NitishKaNakliVikas,@subbhu_chingag Lalu and Nitish are both 2 different versions of same coin. #NitishKaNakliVikas
@someUSER @someUSER slow down .  he's a lib .  u may hav 2 explain 2 him .  remember charlie gibson told donwade&amp,roma he dnt know abt acorn .
@kronosVB thanks bhai :),@kronosVB Thanks brother
Delhi jo gas chembar bana hua hai... uske bare me bhi kabhi kuch keh diya karo. Hame saantvana mil jayegi. Karna to aapne kuch hai nahi. #DelhiSmog #AAP,The gas chamber which has been built in Delhi… at least tell something about it. We will get consolation. You have nothing to do. #DelhiSmog #You
"guys ,  the marijuana law in colorado ,  oregon ,  and washington can pass this tuesday .  #highhopes","Guys, the marijuana law in colorado, oregon and washington can pass this tuesday. #highhopes"
"Kal raat skills ki jeet hui , aur hawas ki haar . 😂Qandeel Baloch Trolled 😂 #IndvsPak #AsiaCupT20","Yesterday night, skills won and lust lost. Qandeel Baloch Trolled, #IndvsPak #AsiaCupT20"
Bhopal DRM ki biwi bhi thi us coach me.. uske bhi 2 mobile aur 5 tola sona le gaye. Lol @PranavP84851370,"Bhopal DRM's wife was in that coach, 2 mobiles and 50gm gold was stolen from her. Lol @PranavP84851370"
same boat sir :'( kal udhaar ki chai pi hai. #MonthEnd,Same boat sir. Drank tea there yesterday. #MonthEnd
insa-allah ye sare record torogi,"Oh my god, She will break all the records."
"aise ich bas, raah mein unse mulaqat hogayi ","Just like that, Met him on the way."
"Indian Idol walon, jab pakana hi tha to Sonakshi Sinha kyon, Sonali Bendre ko rakh lete. Kam se kam shakal to achhi thi.","Indian Idol organizers, if you have to bore us this much then you should have kept Sonali Bendre instead of Sonakshi Sinha. Atleast she is beautiful."
@c_aashish andar ke aalsi ne sath diya to agli February tak :),@c_aashish If my inner laziness is with me then till next February.
kya hai panther???,What's it panther???
@ttrinadasgupta yaar sasta hai,@ttrinadasgupta Dude it's cheap.
"february 13th ,  the day before and best buddy to valentines day ,  desperation day","February 13th, The day before and best buddy to valentines day, Desperation day."
"pet kharab hai bhai, aap khao! :-D","My stomach is in a bad condition, you eat!"
Baap ka bhe BAAP hota hey ..... Aur us Ko #PAKISTAN kehtey hain ... #surgicalstrike #Glorifyingwinningmoment ...,"Every father has their own father, and he's known as #PAKISTAN. #surgiclstrike #Glorifyingwinningmoment ..."
poorane photo lgane se nye vote nhi milenge .  .  .  . only aap,Keeping old photos won't get you new votes. . . . only aap
@aanchalator aapki jhulfo ka raaz kya hai ?,@aanchalatoe What is the secret of your hairs?
"@someUSER it's not fair ,  dear .  .  .  #truthbetold will be available in taiwan on 2 ,  nov .  it's tomorrow !  ! ","@someUSER It's not fair ,Dear . . . #truthbetold will be available in taiwan on 2nd nov. It's tomorrow ! !"
"lol. Cheers.
Tu kaam ke time par tweets mat kiya kar. ",Lol Cheers. Dont you post tweets while working.
@vakeel_saheba 100 days ki cassette lekar aao. Print saaf hona chahiye.,@vakeel_saheba Bring cassette of 100 days. Print should be clear.
@someUSER hey !  are you going to noel fielding with us on friday ?,@someUSER Hey! Are you going to noel fielding with us on friday?
@SirArnabG decimal ka khel hai,@SirArnabG It's a game of decimal
"1am is the new 10pm: ""chalo ab sab ho gaya, ab movie dekhte hai...""","1am is the new 10pm: ""Everything is done, let's watch movie now"""
"@Alllahdin Haha! Dangal mein isse le leta Aamir, baakiyon se itni mehnat karane ki zaroorat nahi thi!","@Alllahdin Haha! Aamir would have taken it in the riot, there was no need to work so hard with the rest!"
Oh Shaaabji! Aur shukriya :),Oh sir! And thanks :)
@MeetUunngLee बस अब बस इक लौंडिया चाहिए :-D,@MeetUunngLee I need a girl now.
@Miss_Ankiita mera naam kis jagah likha hai ??,@Miss_Ankiita Where is my name written?
"@SnoozeMode_ daaru bhi hai zaroori, magar hadd mein","@SnoozeMode_ Alcohol is important, but in limits."
@sumants @sidin wasn't that waqt hamara hai?,@sumants @sidin Wasn't that time is our's?
bhai aisa kya kar diya maine? LOL,"Brother, what did I do? LOL"
Chaand hai ya dettol?https://twitter.com/IncessantRanter/status/802595432903774208 …,Is it moon or dettol? https://twitter.com/IncessantRanter/status/802595432903774208 …
AAPtards paagal ho gaye hai aaj.,AAPtards have gone mad.
"RT @satpalpandey : Shah Satnam Ji super speciality Hospital , providing early diagnosis of diseases , using ultra modern machines , world class","RT @satpalpandey : Shah Satnam Ji super speciality Hospital, providing early diagnosis of diseases, using ultra modern machines, world class."
salman sir so rhe h....don't disturb,"Salman Sir is sleeping, don't disturb."
"Don't try, 20 vote bhi nahi aayenge","Don't try, won't even get 20 votes."
sahi jagah pe sahi acting .  .  .,Best acting at best place.
rula diya yaar sachhi me :(,"Really made me cry, friend."
"@NeelakshiGswm more bike stunts on India gate by Muslim boys , more Hindu girls got beaten by #AAPtards as @NupurSharmaBJP , shame on delhi","@NeelakshiGswm, more bike stunts on India gate by Muslim boys, more Hindu girls got beaten by #AAPtards as @NupurSharmaBJP, shame on delhi."
haha .  .  bahut sahi bhai,"Haha, very right brother."
vote for aap and support arvind kejriwal #5saalkejriwal,Vote for AAP and support Arvind Kejriwal #5saalkejriwal
Ab AAPtard kahenge Amrika wale bhi Ambani agent haihttps://twitter.com/aajtak/status/644769356140777472 …,"Now, AAPtards will say that Americans are also Ambani agent. https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/644769356140777472 …"
Mai to Shami ka bada wala fan ho gaya hun ... Bande ne Zahir khan ki kami mahsus nahi hone di . #IndvsPak #CWC15,I have been a big fan of Shami. Man didn't let us feel the absence of Zahir Khan in the team. #IndvsPak #CWC15
@ek_samosa_dena @BolshoyBooze India ne mujhe saavdhan kiya hai iss case mein.,@ek_samosa_dena @BolshoyBooze India made me careful in this case.
"Bahut badhiya , Bharat ki Court ko phir se thappad . https://t.co/wagjNo03w3","Great, slap to Indian court again. https://t.co/wagjNo03w3"
ye tu ek saal mein teesri baar bol raha hai. Aise mat kar.,You are speaking this third time in this week. Don't do this.
@indiantweeter phone karta hu!,"@indiantweeter, will do a phonecall."
"@aanchalator ""Mat dekhna hai to mat dekho!""","@aanchalator ""If you don't want to see, don't see."""
@Psilosophy Gandhi ji wale,@Psilosophy
"Beef ka nam mat lo, maar padegi","Don't take name of the beef, will get beaten up."
"@coolfunnytshirt lol
 Angrezi zyada nahi samajhti hai. Weekend par aur bhi nahi, because daaru","@coolfunnytshirt, LOL.
Can't understand English much. Even lesser on Weekends, because alcohol."
Ashwin bowling bhool gaya kya?,"Ashwin, did you forget to bowl?"
@SaleemChikna woh gandu ne phone nahi uthaya,"@SaleemChikna, that mad man didn't pick up my phone."
"@friendlii_ghost network to aave chhe, Airtel jevu to nahi ke network ka j na hoy ",@friendlii_ghost network is working
Dikhawe pe jao zyada apni akkal na daudao.,"Just go on look, don't use more mind."
sari khudai ek traf aur pakistan ki thukai ek traf ,)
Tumhare andar ka Raavan amar hai.,The Raavan inside you is immortal.
@KameeniChhori itna sab kuch padhne ke baad mann bhi nahi ho raha. Will wait for bhaijaan to arrive,@KameeniChhori . Will wait for bhaijaan to arrive
@RjMist itna bhi khud nahi kar sakte? Ye hadh hai,"@RjMist, you can't do even this much youself?"
"Aaj Monday hai, sab emo kar sakte hai.","Today, it is Monday. All can do emotional today."
Aap ko letter b likhy hain shayd ap tk puhnch jaye....,"Wrote letter to you, too. Maybe, will reach you."
Jazbati Paksitaniyon . Sabr se kaam lo tum log . 😡 They are playing fine .,"Emotional Pakistani people, be patient. They are playing well."
@confusedJDU Aao saath milkar Bjp ko laae aur Bihar ko choro se bachae #ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao,@confusedJDU Let's come together to bring BJP and keep Bihar away from thieves. #ModiJeetaoNitishBhagao
nic song . bhi jan,"Nice song, bhai jaan."
ghumna band karo modiji ab thoda sarkar ko bhi dekhlo ..............................,"Stop roaming around Modiji, pay attenstion to government, too."
"Figure adhrak jaisa, akkad gaajar wali.","Ginger like figure,"
Toss bhi humne jita tha match bhi hum hi jitenge or world cup bhi hum hi jitenge #IndvsPak #IndWins #BleedBlue,"We won the toss, too. We will also win the match and will also win the world cup."
"kabhi aap logo na Lokpal par baat ki ? kyo ? aakhir modi ji na kya de rakha hai media ko ? naxali "" aatankwad ? #notebandi sa kya mila ?","Did you ever talk about Lokpal? Why? What did Modiji give to media? Naxalites, Terrorism? What is the impact of the #notebandi?"
Dekho ji Papua photo khichwane ja raha hai .... #RahulGandhi,"Look, Papua is going to snap a photo. #RahulGandhi"
"@paavanshukla @SanikaRanade Joke mat maar timing galat hai, bhavnaon ko samjho","@paavanshukla @SanikaRanade Don't make fun, not suitable. Understand the emotions."
best school in world .  .  .  rahul casan abhi abhinav,"Best school in world. Rahul, Casan, Abhi, Abhinav."
@neha_rathore64 tum mana kar do.. Chhod denge,"@neha_rathore64 just say 'No', will leave you."
@Da_Donke @roshd Aisa nahi hai. Yeh thoda zyada ho gaya.,"@Da_Donke @roshd It's not so. This is a bit much
."
Aaj inhone tharra piya hai. https://twitter.com/RGVzoomin/status/837315146288541696 …,Today he has drunk thara. https://twitter.com/RGVzoomin/status/837315146288541696 …
Aaj Sirf Aur Sirf Dilwale Day Hai😎 waiting Waiting Waiting #DilwaleOnSony 💃,"Today is only and only Dilwale day. Waiting, waiting, waiting. #DilwaleOnSony"
"Pehle se pata tha ye pagal hai, shakal se hi dikhta haihttps://twitter.com/ETCBollywood/status/710387723543052288 …",I already knew that she is mad. It is visible on face. https://twitter.com/ETCBollywood/status/710387723543052288 …
@insane_chorri aap kahan se ho Adeeba?,@insane_chorri Where are you from Abeeda?
"Doodh maango kheer denge, milkshake maango beer denge.","Will give milk, mango, kheer; will give milkshake, mago, beer."
Bhai clg to wahi hai ... Waisa ka waisa,"Brother, collage is the same, same to same."
kejri sirf kiran ka jap karta hai delhi ki janta ka toh namonishan nahi .  .  .  .,Kejri only chants Kiran. No sign of public of Delhi.
Yahan ek milne ke vaande hai. https://twitter.com/muffinpack/status/666590561655128064 …,Couldn't even get one. https://twitter.com/muffinpack/status/666590561655128064 …
@tweeting_pal I am innocent sa seedha saadha Bachcha,"@tweeting_pal I am like innocent, simple child."
salman sir plz reply..my cmnt my dream wil cm true.. plz reply with my name,"Salman Sir, please reply, 'my cement, my dream' will come true. Please reply with my name."
Dhoka par vote karohttps://twitter.com/d_RoadRunner/status/695709072557867008 …,Vote on the fraud. https://twitter.com/d_RoadRunner/status/695709072557867008 …
"project ki deadline par daudte the ,  baki time to  "" are kar lenge bahut time he ""  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . ","Were used to run on the deadline days, on other days - ""Will do it, have too much time""."
great job doods countinue .  .,"Great job, dudes. Continue."
@imTejasBarot bahut achcha hai,"@imTejasBarot, that's very nice."
@1Hertz_ katrina bol ke zarine khan de rahe hain !! @Airtel_Presence @RelianceMobile,"@1Hertz_, they are selling Zarine Khan,"
At Sabzi market.. Kisi ko kuch chahiye to jaldi bolo.. Phir mat bolna baad mepic.twitter.com/dLIIFQfHjC,"At vegetable market - If anyone want anything, speak quickly. Don't tell me later. pic.twitter.com/dLIIFQfHjC"
oye guddu papa se bol vo helmet lgana bhool gye .  .  . nhi to mummy ko police wale ko smbhalna pdega .  .  . ,-)
"@imcomplicated__ jo chahe tum isse maan lo, lekin suno ye jaan lo. Hum tum pe marte hai, hum tum pe marte hai.",@imcomplicated__ jo
"sapno mein aisa school hotha tha ,  cricket aur wrestling ke bhi fantasy dekhthe the din mein .  .  wah wah .  .  kya din the .  . ",Such school was in the dream. Cricket and Wrestling
#4BestWordsEver YEH HO CHUKA HAI,"#4BestWordsEver, it's done."
dhoka de diya bhaijaan....,"Cheated me, brother."
this article about senate president enrile is very interesting :) http/URL,This article about senate president Enrile is very interesting. http/URL
RT @areeshei : Jazbati Paksitaniyon . Sabr se kaam lo tum log . 😡 They are playing fine .,"Retweet @areeshei : Emotional Paksitani people, be patient. They are playing well."
and i always thought kachua sir was a math teacher :-/,"And I always thought, Kachua Sir was a mathematics teacher."
he is a fan of idea sir ji .,"He is a fan of the Idea, Sir."
"Ye aam aadmi ki jeet hai

@AamAadmiParty @ArvindKejriwalhttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/775580078407290880 …",This is the victory of common man. @AamAadmiParty @ArvindKejriwalhttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/775580078407290880 …
@c_aashish @GabbbarSingh bhaiya ji itna judge kiye hain dusro ki dulhaniya ko ki apne time toh deactivate karna padega,"@c_aashish @GabbbarSingh bhaiya ji, itna judge kiye hain dusro ki dulhaniya ko ki apne time toh deactivate karna padega"
Puja Abhishek at Sandipani on eve of Mahashivratri . http://t.co/UbwqwE0m0O,"Puja Abhishek at Sandipani, on evening of Mahashivratri. http://t.co/UbwqwE0m0O"
bjp delhi mai sarkar bnaigi i now dat nd west . bengal need bjp govt plzz cme fst dear bjp .  .  .  .  .,"BJP will form government in Delhi. I know that and West Bengal need BJP government. Please, come fast, dear BJP."
@fussytharoor @LeftArmOver_ Arey sirji bhi Calcutta ke hain. Inko bhi ilm hoga.,"@fussytharoor @LeftArmOver_ Hey, Sir is also from Calcutta. He also maybe having knowledge."
"TL dekh kar itni khushi kabhi nahi hui, jo iss saal horahi hai. 
#JaagoMard","I was never as happy as this year, watching timeline."
"@someUSER february 2 ,  aka groundhog day ,  we can pull it off ,  right ? ","@someUSER, February 2, also known as Groundhog Day, we can pull it off, right?"
yaar main kahan dikh gaya tujhe ismein? LOL,Where was I seen in this picture friend? LOL.
@ruchikokcha kyu? Karo yaar. Life mein thoda ye bhi zaroori hai,"@ruchikokcha, why? Do it, friend. This is also needed a little in life."
launcher paaji laddu pe concentrate kar rahe hain :p,Launcher Paaji is concentrating on Laddus.
BJP youth ki skill niche video me dekhiye.,See the skills of BJP youth in the video below.
"Sauchalay bana lo, zyada zaroorat haihttps://twitter.com/NavbharatTimes/status/823789157931696128 …","Make toilets, needed more. https://twitter.com/NavbharatTimes/status/823789157931696128 …"
@YearOfRat bhai pehle to kshama de do. Bahot busy tha aur hu. Bangalore tha iss weekend. Plan kar ke hi call karunga,"@YearOfRat brother, first forgive me. Was very busy and am. Was in Bengluru weekend. Will call after planning."
"man ,  i'm sorry for the death of mr . mitch lucker .  may he rest in peace . ","Man, I'm sorry for the death of Mr. Mitch Lucker. May he rest in peace."
#Jio phone kab milege,When will #Jio phone arrive?
@Sand_In_Deed tere paas iPhone hai @pranavsapra,"@Sand_In_Deed, you have an iPhone. @pranavsapra"
Ladkiyon ke bhi 1000 nakhre ban kar do bhai.,"Girls have thousand tantrum, please don't do that brother."
RT @ShankarNaresh1 : Wish U Happy Mahashivrathiri To All #MahaShivratri @AnjanaVJ @Manivj07 @jan_iyer @iamlakshmirai sunday http://t.co/qPzDRUxiOa,Retweet @ShankarNaresh1 : Wish you happy Mahashivrathiri to all. #MahaShivratri @AnjanaVJ @Manivj07 @jan_iyer @iamlakshmirai sunday http://t.co/qPzDRUxiOa
@akshaykanitkar abe #MadarChorAAP hai sahi trend,"@akshaykanitkar, hey, #MadarChorAAP is the real trend."
@friendlii_ghost BOL MADI AMBE JAI JAI AMBE,"@friendlii_ghost, chant ""Jai mother Ambe, Jai Jai Ambe""."
Kohli sar pe gobar rakh ke award lene kyu gaya hai ?pic.twitter.com/LInTCGcCVl,"Kohli, why have you gone to receive the award with cow-dung on the head? pic.twitter.com/LInTCGcCVl"
Wah bhai too good maza aa gayahttps://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/815111818838347776 …,"Wow brother, too good. Enjoyed it. https://twitter.com/timesofindia/status/815111818838347776 …"
@scratchysingh tujhe nahi de raha,"@scratchysingh, not giving to you."
hats off to u admin .  .  .  . u alwyz made smile on our face .  .  . awesum job (y),"Hats off to you, administrator. You always made a smile on our faces. Awesome job."
RT @CricBellz : Khurram Manzoor again confusing the hell out of Inzi and Co . Lolz #PakistanCup,@CricBellz : khurram manzoor again confusing the hell out of inzi and co. laugh out loud #PakistanCup
they are hereee !  i'm so envy those who just met them at the klia especially who took pictures w nick j :( tomorrow is my turn !,they are here! i envy those who just met nick j at the klia and took pictures with them. tomorrow is my turn.
Bahut khoob bahut khoob bahut khoobhttps://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/833899453224538112 …,"very good, very good, very good https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/833899453224538112 …"
"khatam karne ke liye kuch madad chahiye toh bataa dena, main aajaunga.","if you need any help with finishing, let me know, i will come over."
Milte hain iske results ke sath kal rat 10 baje. #SRK4ever #BhaiRoxx,will meet with his results tomorrow night at 10. #SRK4ever #BhaiRoxx
@twinitisha wo kya hota hai?  @EngineeRoholic,@twinitisha what does that mean? @EngineeRoholic
"ab khatam hogaya, ek uttar gayi, jaate jaate bhikari bol gayi usko (a/c wali)","now it’s over, upon going she (one with a/c) called him a beggar"
Salman Bhai.....Mri Bf mjhse jada apko pyar karti h...or islie mjhe usse bht pyar h kyunki wo mjhse jada apko pyar karti h,"salman sir, my girlfriend loves you more than me. and that is why i love her a lot."
Kaha tha bhai @MeetUunngLee ??,where were you @MeetUunngLee ??
"4 over mein 60 bana lo, bas hogaya inke liye. Inko 150 run aur Rs.150 bahot hai. #IndvsBan",making 60 runs in 4 overs is enough for them. 150 runs and Rs. 150 is enough for them. #IndvsBan
@Madan_Chikna LOL. Raj zabardasti? Main Virar train ke liye ruka hu,@Madan_Chikna laugh out loud. forcefully raj? i am waiting for virar train.
"Rana Ayyub ki baddua lagi hai, bahut troll kiya the use Pakistan ki har par #IndvsSri","rana ayyub has cursed us, we had trolled pakistan upon losing #IndvsSri"
desk pe bag taang rkkhi h .  .  .  i used 2 do d same :p,the bag is hanging on the desk. i used to do the same 
why ?  you will pay all this with tax payers money .  .  .  .  . acchi baat nahi hai !  !  !,why? you will pay all this with taxpayers’ money. it’s not a good thing.
@imVkohli @sachin_rt Ram aur Hanuman ki jodi .,@imVkohli @sachin_rt pair of ram and hanuman
@LoKarloUnfollow Tera driver aaya tha.. Bol raha tha use teri peeth ka til bohot pasand hai ,)
RT @nitinmahalwal : plz aag lagane walo se bacho aur afwaho pe dhyan na de sab planning thi aag lagane ki #JatReservation https://t.co/G75UF,@nitinmahalwal : please protect yourself from people causing fire and beware of people spreading rumors  #JatReservation https://t.co/G75UF
@ArvindKejriwal @imVkohli Bol AAP aur Ashutosh ne use training diya tha .,@ArvindKejriwal @imVkohli say AAP and Ashutosh had given training to him.
"school jaake parade /p . t .  krna ,  fir vo cultural dance , speech aur last me sweet ceremony(bundi k ladoo) .  .  .  ,  mst the vo din bhi .  :)","going to school and performing p.t, cultural dance, speech and in the end the sweet ceremony (boondi ke ladoo). those days were best."
Kya likhe jaa rahi hai.. soja,what are you writing? go to sleep.
RT @Being_Humor : . @JhaSanjay fir mirror samne se hata liya ?,@Being_Humor @JhaSanjay again removed the mirror in front?
RT @Faller18 : @timesofindia Ppl know succesful bidder of Kingfisher brand should also carry the bad image created around Mallaya by media&v,RT @Faller18 : @timesofindia people know that successful bidder of kingfisher brand should also carry the bad image created around mallya by media.
@whycarewho aaj to Saturday.. tum ek din late ho gaye,"@whycarewho today is saturday, you could have been late by one day."
Mitro! Sabhi deshwasiyo ko DHANTERAS ki hardik badhaiya. jam k shopping kariye.. #GST #Modi,friends! many wishes of dhanteras to all the citizens. shop to your heart’s content. #GST #Modi
waaaooowww kya maast hai https://t.co/UUKGKOi7am,wow! this is amazing https://t.co/UUKGKOi7am
getting pumped for the #niners #giants game sunday .  and i guess so it kyle williams http/URL,getting pumped for the #niners #giants game on sunday. and i guess so it kyle williams http/URL
Mohit Sharma jesay kachra bowler ko wickets mil rahi hain -_- #IndvsSA,trash bowlers like mohit sharma are getting wickets #IndvsSA
"Banayega - Make in India "" phir ayega Mann main koi updesh",will implement Made in India. then there would be preaching in mind.
@ANI_news Kyunki Sara Vipaksha Aatankwad k paksh main aa Kar khada Ho jada hai,@ANI_news because the complete opposition stands with terrorists.
@7UPIndia Yaha Vodafone ka network nahi aa raha.. :( #ChatpatakaTwist,@7UPIndia there is no coverage of vodafone here #ChatpatakaTwist
"Bhai bhai somabhai bohemia,",somabhai is an artist
"@aanchalator ""Do we wanna do the whole Argo ending? Nah. Chal policewaale ka flip dikhake khatam karte hain. Thak gaye ab!""",@aanchalator “do we want to do the whole argo ending? no. Let’s finish it by showing the policeman’s flip. everyone is tired.”
It has got nothing on 'Dulhan ki vidai ka waqt badalna hai'https://twitter.com/krishashok/status/774288164135370752 …,It has got nothing on ‘want to change bride’s farewell time’https://twitter.com/krishashok/status/774288164135370752
Salllluuuu i love u....plzzzz ek bar apne apse milne do...plzzzzzz,salman i love you. please let me meet you once. please.
"Resignationprasad kehta hai "" hum support karte the #RightToPrivacy par proceedings kuch aur kehti hain case ki "" doglapan bjp ka aurkuch nai",resignationprasad says “we supported #RightToPrivacy but the proceedings of the case suggest otherwise”. nothing else than hypocrisy of bjp. 
hahahahaha  .  .  .  .  mera classmate jab bhi mooh mein toffee khate hue bolta tha to same aisa hi bolta tha .  .  .  .  . =d,this is what my classmate sounded like whenever he talked with a toffee in his mouth 
Modi ji aap badhey chalo janta apke sath hai.,"go ahead mr. modi, the people are with you."
madari ke pas kuchh hi tricks hoti hain .,magician only has a few tricks.
Audio : Astrologer Sidharth On Mahashivratri with RJ Rohit as big jyotish guru @ 92.7 Big FM http://t.co/D4hOflTD78,audio : astrologer sidharth On mahashivratri with rj Rohit as big astrologer guru @ 92.7 Big FM http://t.co/D4hOflTD78
"@melotus tumne hi toh bola woh pasand hai, nahi?","@melotus you mentioned you liked it, didn’t you?"
@yudhajit Ho chuka hai re ♪,@yudhajit it has already happened
degree ki maang kare  @Ra_Bies @Bookwiser,ask for degree @Ra_Bies @Bookwiser
Modi brand #SurgicalStrike ! Pakistan ki Int se Int bajaate hue sanghi bhakts .,modi brand #SurgicalStrike ! devotees bringing pakistan to ruination.
Dekh rahe ho ya nehi?,are you seeing this or not?
Kalaiyon ke sahare moad diya. #CricketIn5Words,turned it using the wrists #CricketIn5Words
contra mai th s power best thi .  kiyu thi ki ni ?,in contra s power was best. wasn’t it?
@Dishasatra @ek_samosa_dena waise ladkiyon se usse baat karni hi nahi hogi.,@Dishasatra @ek_samosa_dena he did not want to talk to those types of girls
@YearOfRat BhaRatty Mata Ki Jai,@YearOfRat long live mother india
@YearOfRat Jo doosre ke liye gadda khoddte hai.. Usi me gir jaate hai @abpnewstv,"@YearOfRat those who dig holes for others, fall into them @abpnewstv"
"@iAmGolfy hahahah. saath me karna hai, to fir bookie hi ban jaate hai na :P","@iAmGolfy if we want to do it together, we should become bookie."
guddu ko style marna b aata hai :p,guddu knows how to make an impression.
.@RanaAyyub tu nikal jaa Mars.. Hum yaha sab sambhal lenge,"@RanaAyyub you go to mars, we will handle everything here."
Ye raat aur ye doori tera milna ha zaroori ke dil mera... *ding ting* ke dil mera dhak dhak dole,this night and this distance between us makes my heart beat for you.
@BhasadiKutta haha.. Ye sab to babuji ke sanskaro ka kamaal hai,@BhasadiKutta all this is because of values given by dad.
Fir to rajnath ji ko bina soye hue kayi mahine beet gaye honge. Amazing energy!https://twitter.com/upbhaskar/status/904934462814691328 …,then rajnath singh wouldn’t have slept for several months. amazing energy https://twitter.com/upbhaskar/status/904934462814691328
"""Ye phool @RanaAyyub ko de de.. Khush ho jaegi""pic.twitter.com/G0Ne7iIRHA",“give this flower to @RanaAyyub. she would be happy.”pic.twitter.com/G0Ne7iIRHA
toh bhai mere lye yahi #gift hoga k aap @raiisonai @TheArijitSingh ko apni flim Songs do 0,the #gift for me would be that you give film songs to @raiisonai @TheArijitSingh 
"Duniya Ky Libaon Men Sub Se Zeyada Khobsorat Libaas "" HAYYA "" Ka Libaas Hai . Good MorningBy Shoukat Baloch From SINDH","from all the clothes in the world, the most beautiful one is “HAYYA”. good morning by shoukat baloch from sindh"
"@witchybitchygal Haha.. 
Har marz ki dawa hai aapke paas
Isiliye aap hamre liye hai kuch khaas !!",@witchybitchygal you have medicine for every illness. that’s why you are special to us.
@nadeemalmas1 search kr wikipedia pe bhi .... duniya ki sabse purani sanskriti hindu hai ... search kr,"@nadeemalmas1 search it on wikipedia. she is world’s most cultured hindu, search it."
@Fussy_Ca Gangajal 2 ki poori shooting Bhopal me huee hai.. Kuch mat bol use,@Fussy_Ca the whole shooting of gangajal 2 has taken place in bhopal. don’t tell anything to him.
this is lesson for you  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  ab kabhi nahi karega help ab jab bhi aisa hoga tu bhagega,"this is a lesson for you. now you won’t help anytime, whenever situation arises you will run."
"@SirPareshRawal sir , jahan aap jaise behtareen & adbhut actor hon ... vo planet hell toh ho hi nahi sakta ..","@SirPareshRawal sir. when there are great actors like you on the planet, it can’t be hell."
Chalo protocol pata chal gaya. Vice President agar Muslim na hote toh shayad kabhi pata hi nahi chaltapic.twitter.com/bOLAEk0g4E,i know the protocol now. if the vice president wasn’t muslim i wouldn’t know. pic.twitter.com/bOLAEk0g4E
@ExSecular sahi me.. Bohot pakata hai aajkal,@ExSecular you annoy me a lot.
Indrani ke kitne pati hai >>https://twitter.com/MildlyClassic/status/681774301645701120 …,how many husbands does indrani have?https://twitter.com/MildlyClassic/status/681774301645701120
baakiyo ke mummy daddy kahan gaye ?,where are others’ parents?
"""Jis pe chauka na lage wo acchi gend hai"" 

~ Sehwag ",“the ball where one can’t score a four is a good delivery” -sehwag
Apne desh mei content ki bhi barsaat ho rahi hai #tripletalaq #righttoprivacy #rapistbaba #china #MumbaiRains,content is raining in our country.#tripletalaq #righttoprivacy #rapistbaba #china #MumbaiRains
500 ke note par aansoo aur 100 ki notes par ab khushiyan rehti hai.https://twitter.com/peachypiscean/status/796062766989799426 …,tears reside on 500 note and happiness resides on 100 note.https://twitter.com/peachypiscean/status/796062766989799426
"Raina khel nahi raha hai, khilwad kar raha hai.","raina is not playing, he is messing up."
I believe an incomplete confession is an inconclusive confession . The guy is only stating the obvious ? you have to score enough to pass anyway otherwise how else will you graduate ? ,-)
"What a person "" salute hai tumhe #Dhoni ....... tum logo Ki najar me aur bade Ho gaye ..... Keep it up ......",what a person #Dhoni is. salute to him. you have risen in people’s expectations.
Tu dil hai tu jaan hai..mera salman hai,you are my heart and soul. you are my salman
@VaibhavVinayaka no bhai :),@VaibhavVinayaka no brother.
"Hamein ek nek, sushil aur achhe gahr kki bahu chahiye.

*Hamara ladka chahe kitna bhi haramkhor ho*

#IndianFamilies",we need a bride from a good family. *even though our son is useless* #Indian Families
"yaaar guddu ,  tuney to apne section ki izzat mitti mei milaadi dusre section se chalk maang k .  .  . ",guddu you ruined the reputation of our section by asking chalk from another section.
"""Asli maza chhupane me hai"" ",“true joy is in hiding”
"Waah, dimaag ko shot de de kar is insaan ne alaysis toh badhiya kar liya. Saabash.https://twitter.com/DiaQuery/status/726996017246261248 …","by giving shots to his mind, this person did a good analysis. great. https://twitter.com/DiaQuery/status/726996017246261248"
"love it when you have bale first scorer ,  2nd time in a week #loveit","love it when bale scores first, second time in a week #loveit"
"""Kuch Kuch Chhota Hai tum nahi samjhoge Rahul"" - Anjali","“something is small, you won’t understand rahul” -anjali"
usko bhi leak nahi karna!,even he doesn’t want to leak
hamare bhai ki ganit kharab hai. Sirf paise ginne aate honge. @karanjohar,my brother does not know math. he only knows how to count money. @karanjohar
"kamaal hai ,  kisi ladki ne abhi tak blackboard ka sum solve nahi kiya :p","it’s shocking, no girl has solved a blackboard problem till now"
Kya Tarun Ka Pal Tej Hai?,is tarun’s heartbeat fast?
"Haryana me to sabhi Tau hain, according Viru paji.https://twitter.com/virendersehwag/status/635082953962295296 …",everyone thinks high of themselves in haryana according to viru https://twitter.com/virendersehwag/status/635082953962295296
hahah!  Daaru se kabhi koi nuksaan nahi hua hai. Log sirf khush rehte hai,there has been no damage due to alcohol. people are always happy due to it.
##Jio kuch bhi kar sakta hai ##,jio can do anything
Live aane ke liye switch to #JIO services !!!,"to go live, switch to #JIO services"
"@BolshoyBooze nahi, khaya toh zaroor. Magar bhook hamesha lagi rehti hai :-D","@BolshoyBooze no, i have eaten. but i’m always hungry "
chacha @JhaSanjay Manipur militants killed. shok sabha ki taiyari karo.,uncle @JhaSanjay manipur militants are killed. arrange for condolence meet.
guddu to superb actor h .  .   .  chhaa gya yaar ,) :p
@byomkesbakshi jhanda utarne mein chashma bhi utar gaya :D,"@byomkesbakshi upon getting off flag, even his spectacles got off."
@Champ_Nikk ise bol shaadi dot com pe koshish kare,@Chanp_Nikk tell him to try on shaadi dot com
"haan yaar, bhavnayein samajh aagaye","yes friend, understood your feelings"
Alia: Ohh Gautam Gambhir Rahul Dravid ke chacha hai .. Ab samaj me aaya https://twitter.com/aajtak/status/667584742628323329 …,"alia: oh, gautam gambhir is uncle of rahul dravid. now i understoodhttps://twitter.com/aajtak/status/667584742628323329"
Pak ka movie flop hoji ???,are you sure the movie would be a flop?
@jdshastri26 lol maine bhi pehle yahi padha tha @ashutosh83B,@jdshastri26 even i read this initially @ashutosh83B
"@Ra_Bies par paise zyada leta hai.. Mera to fav rabies hai.. ""Pehle istemaal kare.. Phir vishwas kare.."" ","@Ra_Bies he charges more. my favourite is rabies “first use, then trust”"
"Mujhe tumhari aankho se peene do,  waise bhi daaru ke liye paise nahi hai.","let me drink from your eyes, i don’t have money for alcohol."
@scratchysingh daag achche hai,@scratchysingh stains are good.
you are not cheating ... you are doing what you feel gud about ...,you are not cheating. you are doing what you feel good about.
"RT @iG_Butt : Men are from "" send your pic "" Women are from "" dekh k delete kar dena """,@iG_Butt men are from “send your picture” women are from “delete it after seeing”
Damn !!!! SOunds like a wanna salman,he sounds like he wants to be salman
"@TweetErrant Tere liye kuch bhi, darling :-*",@TweetErrant anything for you darling
@nadeemahmaddoit aur tu jaa jaakar bomb bana jihadi @ashutosh83B,@nadeemahmaddoit even now you want to go and make bomb jihadi @ashutosh83B
"Rahul be like: ""Itana pyar to meri Maa ne bhi nahi kiya kabhi #GST #GSThelpdesk",rahul be like: “even my mother has not loved me this much” #GST #GSThelpdesk
@zoomphatak hojana chahiye abhi,@zoompathak it should be done by now
Sab chhodo ABD ki batting dekho against WI. 50 of 16 balls.,leave everything and watch ab de villiers bat against west indies. he has made 50 runs off 16 balls
@Priyarathod2468 kabhi soncha hain aise bhi lag sakti hain vaat?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI&feature=youtu.be … #LagGayiVaat Shine,@Priyarathod2468 had you ever thought you could be in trouble like this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI&feature=youtu.be #LagGayiVaat Shine
"apne guddu ko koi romantic script to de ke dekho 3:)  ,  .  .  .  aaag lga dega ladka :d :d",someone give a romantic script to guddu. he would perform extremely well.
"Relationship Status: Ek garam chai ki pyaali ho, koi usko pilaane wali ho.",relationship status: a girl to feed a hot cup of tea
we use to b rich d day we used to get 20rs .  .  20rs mein to cosco ki ball aa jati thi .  .,we used to be rich the day when we got Rs. 20. In Rs. 20 we could buy a cosco ball.
"Remembering Alok Nath in MainePyarKia telling Bhagyashree, jaa beta jaa, itna pyaar to tujhe main bhi nahi kar sakta.","remembering alok nath in MainePyarKia telling bhagyashree, go son go, even i can’t love you this much."
@MeetUunngLee :D  khaamosh khaamosh bol bol kar isne janata ko bakwaas acting mein phaansa hai aur ab politics,"@MeetUunngLee after speaking “quiet, quiet” he has trapped people in rubbish acting. now he is trying to do so in politics."
"bhai, bhai hai.
Koi tujhse achhi milegi nahi, koi tujhse kam bhi chalegi nahi ",i won't find anyone better than you. nor will i accept anyone worse than you.
Modi jorj aage bado ham tumhare sath hai jai Bharat....,"modi go ahead, we are with you. Bharat."
@bruiselee jao pehle us aadmi ka sign lekar aao,@bruiselee first go and bring that person’s signature
mizzou beats kentucky 2-1 !  tigers advance to face top-seed florida in the semis on friday at 6:30 p . m .,mizzou beats kentucky 2-1 !  tigers advance to face top-seed florida in the semi finals on friday at 6:30 pm.
I'm vry exited... only 3 min remaining,i’m very excited. only 3 minutes remaining.
"Subah ka naashta - Lahore me
Dopahar ka khana - Karachi me
Raat ki party - Islamabad me

Jai Hindhttps://twitter.com/IndiaTVHindi/status/781394021402812416 …",morning breakfast - in lahore. lunch - in karachi. night party - in islamabad. jai hind https://twitter.com/IndiaTVHindi/status/781394021402812416
@Swt_Sadhana oo mere.. Dil ke chain.. Chain aaye mere dil ko.. Dua kijeeye,@Swt_Sadhana oh my heart’s relaxation. wish that my heart gets relaxation.
Sunday ko sunha aese ankh khool jati haiJese mujhe halwa pori bechene jana ho😢😩😒,on sunday morning my eyes open up as if i have to go to sell halwa puri.
apple ceo apologizes for error-ridden new map app - apple ceo tim cook apologized friday for the company&amp,#039
"kya baat kar rele ho bhai, bas aades do apan haajir. Batao",what are you talking about. just command and i will be there. just tell.
Yeh hi soch badalni padegi kuch naya dhundte hai. Jaise koi naya beer sponsor.,"we need to change this thinking. we should search for something new, like a new beer sponsor."
@KyaUkhaadLega aadhe logo ne cigarette ka dekh ke band kar diya tha..tension na le,"@KyaUkhaadLega half of the people stopped after seeing the cigarette, don’t worry."
"Behen, tum to sly karne layak bhi nahi ho","sister, you are not even worthy of being a slyer."
i love u vaii.khuda hamesha apki saath rahegi vaii,i love you vaii. the lord will always be with you vaii.
"Digvijay Singh had almost ruined the state.. 
MP ban gaya India ka Taj..
Ab haar baar Shivraj..",digvijay singh had almost ruined the state. member of parliament became india’s crown. now everytime shivraj.
"""Aaltu jalaaltu aayee Modi leher ko taal tu"" - Nitish #YoNitishSoTantrik",“avert the modi wave” - nitish #YoNitishSoTantrik
u cant blame me.. meri shaadi ho gayee,you can’t blame me. i’m already married.
"jo bhi ho arvind kejriwal ji ,  pure india ko apne comedian style se entertain bahut kar rahe hain . ",whatsoever may happen mr. arvind kejriwal. you are entertaining the whole nation with your comedian style.
"Wo beef bhi khata hai aur pork bhi, Hinduism ko bhi gali deta hai aur [private mein] Islam ko bhi, liberal ka koi dharam nahi hota.",he eats beef and pork. he curses hinduism and islam (in private). there is no religion for a liberal.
guddu bhai ko standing problem hogayee .  .  .  . chalo pamela ke bahane kuch raunak toh aayee guddu ke kacche me  .  .  .  .  .  :d :d :d,guddu has got a standing problem. at least because of pamela guddu’s underwear shines.
@NotThatMP iski jaanch honi chahiye,@NotThatMP he should be searched
"Arre Sir, itna pyaar. Shukriya!","oh sir, so much love. thank you!"
"supw ka matlab social useful project work hai ,  yehi 3 - 4 saal baad samajh aaya tha .  .  . initially it was just  "" free ""  period .  .  . miss my kv days ;d",the full form of supw is social useful project work. i understood this after 3-4 years. initially it was just free period. miss my kv days.
OK bye bye lagta hai it's just fun .,"ok bye, i think it’s just for fun."
@akshaykanitkar kisi ne mujhe yaad kiya @Atheist_Krishnapic.twitter.com/bu8XZ8UilK,@akshaykanitkar did someone remember me @Atheist_Krishna pic.twitter.com/bu8XZ8UilK
"Nehru: Bapu kuch saal baad tere ghar me Tushar paida hoga

Gandhi: Hahaha..Rahul Gandhi.. 
Awaaz neeche 

N: Hahahapic.twitter.com/F2M2KzdXEj","nehru: bapu, after some years tushar will take birth in your home. gandhi: rahul gandhi. keep your voice low. pic.twitter.com/F2M2KzdXEj"
@huh_watnow Mein hu shikari kudiye.. khali mera vaar ni jata.. mujhko na pehchane tu.. tere ghar akhbaar ni aata ?? @HaramiParindey,@huh_watnow i am a hunter girl. my hunt never goes empty. why won’t you recognize me? don’t you get newspaper at your home? @HaramiParindey
meney is post ko dekh ke jab school ka board pada tabhi samajh lia tha ki ya to ye tinde khake sapna dekh raha hey ya fir shaan sapna dekh raha hey :)))),upon reading this post i understood that either he is dreaming after eating apple gourd or he is watching pride dream
Bachha log bajao taalihttps://twitter.com/NaivedyaSharma/status/629894629047926784 …,clap children https://twitter.com/NaivedyaSharma/status/629894629047926784
" "" make in india ""  only in speeches ,  reality is to get  "" made in china ""  .  id's made in china was used in today's rally .  . ",“made in india” is only in speeches. reality is to get “made in china”. the id’s used in rally today were made in china.
@RoflGandhi_ jab se mujhe pata chala hai main dhoni ka parody hu tab se 4 safed baal aa chuke hain.,"@RoflGandhi_ after i’ve known that i’m dhoni’s parody, i’ve got 4 white hair."
aaj toh south africa ke pakode lga daale india ne .  .,today india smashed south africa
@IamVibhor_  Dar ke aage Jeet hai  Satyendra Verma has proved it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tybez0kwACg … … #NaamBanteHainRiskSe @MountainDewIn,@IamVibhor_ beyond fear there is victory. satyendra verma has proven it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tybez0kwACg #NaamBanteHainRiskSe @MountainDewIn
@kavitabika Tum to har mahine Australia jati ho.. Mein to pehli baar gaya tha, @kavitabika you go to australia every month. i went there for the first time. 
"@karmagal91 Zamana kharaab hai.. Shine lajawaab hai: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI … #LagGayiVaat 
Shine",@karmagal91 the era is bad. the shine is great. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK4rf9T6OrI #LagGayiVaat 
ek se ek hai iss desh mein!,the country has one better than the other people.
@retardedwriter lol! Ye kya gaana bhej diya,@retardedwriter what song have you sent.
@c_aashish is match ke muzrim aap banna chahte ho lag raha hai,@c_aashish it looks like you want to be the criminal for this match.
@NotSoSweetGirl_ Matlab KP me garmi hoti thi ?,@NotSoSweetGirl_ means the heat in kp was severe?
#IndvsPak ab Kya hoga tumhaara next Diwali maybe,#IndvsPak what will happen next diwali
"Hema Malini is like samajh  main to aana nahi ""hai khamakha raat ki neend kharab ki #gstrollout #GST","hema malini is like “you ruined my sleep, and i couldn’t even understand you”#gstrollout #GST"
@iamGunjanGrunge NAACHO SAARE G PHAAD KE @ndtv,@iamGunjanGrunge everybody dance carefree @ndtv
bekar isko host kar diya .  .,it was useless to host him
Ye sab haaye lagi hai Eva Carneiro ki.,this is the curse of eva carneiro.
1st time i've seen eleanor respond to hate o . o she seems to sweet to say 1 mean thing !  http/URL,it’s the first time i’ve seen eleanor respond to hate. she is sweet and doesn’t say mean things! http/URL
So #ArnabSlapsSagarika becomes #1 trend. Is desh ka kuchh nahi ho sakta.,so #ArnabSlapsSagarika becomes number 1 trending. this country is going nowhere.
looks like ur 70 promises are fake like you .  .  i am sure u will take big u turn .  .  .,looks like your 70 promises are fake like you. i am sure you will take a big u-turn
"@DefucktiveHumor zaroor, jis tarah se main isse dekh raha hu shayad shaadi kisi tabele mein hogi","@DefucktiveHumor for sure. the way i am seeing this person, it looks like the marriage will be in a stable."
wat a acting :p,what an acting.
if you call me 'good girl' one more time you may find my scolding hot coffee heading towards your crotchal region .,"if you call me “good girl” one more time, you mayl find my scorching hot coffee heading towards your crotchal region."
@Jagat___Janani aaja bhai.. Saath me naachenge,@Jagat___Janani come over brother. we will dance together.
kebab khane gaya tha. Bade ke.,i had gone to eat kebab.
guddu ki ma or baapu se puchho ise banate banate unke baayen haath ka kya haal hua hoga :v o:) 3:),"ask the parents of guddu, what would have been the condition of their left arm in the process of making him."
Good that Rohit Sharma got out . Opposition mein Sri Lanka nahi hai . Unhone kuch ukhad bhi nahi lena tha . #IndvsPak,it’s good that rohit sharma got out. the opposition is not sri lanka. they can’t do anything. #IndvsPak
"kaash viva me ese rone se marks mil jaya krte .  .  .  .  "" sir padha toh tha pr abi yaad nhi aa rha  .  .  .  . boohoohoo ""  :p ;)",only if we could get marks in viva by crying like this “sir i had read this but can’t recall”
"Digvijay Singh: Madam u r 100% tunch maal
Madam:pic.twitter.com/9gQCayQmxj",digvijay singh: madam you are 100% cheap person. madam: pic.twitter.com/9gQCayQmxj
call center hi khol leta yr .  .,you could have started a call center friend
Bhaijaan parso gaaliyan kha ke dil nahi bhara?https://twitter.com/aqeel3550/status/766881696943931392 …,"brother, weren’t you content by day before yesterday’s curse words?https://twitter.com/aqeel3550/status/766881696943931392"
"Aaj phir dil ne ek tamanna ki,
Aaj phir theeke se humne whiskey laaya.

#AadabArzHai","again today my heart made a request, again today i bought whiskey from wine shop. #AadabArzHai"
Thanks sir.. kya haal chaal?,thanks sir. what’s up?
kya baat h.....bhai,great work brother.
"Bade ""woh"" ho tum piya, zidd kyu nahi chhodte?
What is ""Woh""",you are very “that” kind of person. why don’t you leave the argument. what is “that”
"Kabhi yun bhi to ho Dariyaa kaa saahil ho , Poore Chaand ki raat ho Aur tum aao Kabhi yun bhi to ho Pariyon ki ... http://t.co/mGs2VIIWgZ",you are the coast to the whole ocean. the night to the whole moon and come someday like a fairy. http://t.co/mGs2VIIWgZ
"Jinko Calendar year aur Financial year mein farak nahi ""pata woh bhi #GST ke baare mein gyaan baant raha hai.",those who don’t even know the difference between calendar year and financial year are sharing knowledge about #GST
@MeThePooh jab aayega Bihar may Modi sarkaar  #NitishKaNakliVikas,@MeThePooh when modi government will come to bihar #NitishKaNakliVikas
@TheDilliMirror @EngineeRoholic @MeetUunngLee Paaji chhad deyo hunn,@TheDilliMirror @EngineeRoholic @MeetUunngLee i have left it friend
Super duper flop...inshallah nich hai Salman Khan tu..?,"super flop. inshallah is cheap, are you too salman khan?"
bhai chutte/khulle hogaye ho toh mujhe bhi de diyo,"brother if you’ve got change, please give it to me too."
@LEDtvn udhaar de do,@LEDtvn rent it to me.
@bad_mulga Aisay mat bolo bhai. Yahan bahut maharathi hain,@bad_mulga please don’t say it like this.here there are experts.
"Ye khushi ki baat ""hai saare mulk ke liye faayeda pahunchega: Himachal Pradesh CM #VirbhadraSingh on state assembly passing #GST","this is a good news, all nations will benefit from this: himachal pradesh cm #VirbhadraSingh on state assembly passing #GST "
.@mannequin_talks sanskaar kaha hai? @aloknath kuch sikaho inhe,.@mannequin_talks where are your values? @aloknath teach him something
Aaj Ka Sawal .......? Duniya Ka Sab Se Bara Mulk Konsa He Ans Apna Name City Name Ke Sath Bhejain03002744219,today’s question. which is the largest country of the world. send the answer with your name and the name of your city to 03002744219
@vsknagpur fact hai sir ji UP me #TripleTalaq ek bada issue tha Muslim mahilaon ne Modi ji ko bharpoor Vote diye hain #ElectionResults #Secular #TripleTalaq #MuslimWomen,"@vsknagpur it’s a fact in UP #TripleTalaq was a big issue, muslim women had given enough votes to modi #ElectionResults #Secular #TripleTalaq #MuslimWomen"
"hey nevada tweeps remember tomorrow is the last day for early voting !  ready ,  set &amp; vote !  #justdoit ! ","hey nevada people, remember tomorrow is the last day for early voting. go and vote. #justdoit"
Salman bhai mje aap se milna hai...i am ur big big big fan...,salman sir i want to meet you. i am your big fan.
@ek_samosa_dena @Dishasatra tu meri marna chah raha hai?,@ek_samosa_dena @Dishasatra are you trying to ruin me?
matlab kuch bhi. Not done bhai,that means you would do anything. it’s not done brother.
bahi tumhara world book fair stall mein to kuch nahi he kuch to dalo bhai :(,"brother, there is nothing in your world book fair. please put something in it."
"""Suno suno duniyaa ke logon, mera naam hai Khal Drogo"" #IndianGOT","“listen people of the world, my name is khal drogo”#IndianGOT"
"sumtimes i dnt undrstnd .  .  who really loves da people of india ,  whrthr kiren bedi or arvindji .  .  ? ","sometimes i don’t understand who loves the people of india, whether it’s keren bedi or arvindji?"
aur aage khade hokar horn bajane me alag hi maza tha :-),standing in front and honking is fun
Chalo di aapko aaj ki raat.. Kal subah tak aap Engineer ban kar dikha do. Challenge ?pic.twitter.com/bcIIciYSGi,ok i give you tonight’s time. become an engineer by tomorrow morning. challenge?pic.twitter.com/bcIIciYSGi
I'm so excited salman bhai,i’m so excited salman sir.
"#GuessTheSong
Ek ehsaan kar apne mehmaan par",#GuessTheSong do one favor on your guest.
@KhiladiForever Bahut arso pehle ki baat hai hum bhi cricket premi hua karte the bittu !,"@KhiladiForever it’s a story before ages, even i used to be a cricket fan."
"@abhishekmadan Sirf urdu se sab Gulzar hotey,
To miyan Pakistan mai sab mahan hotey.","@abhishekmadan if one would become gulzar by knowing urdu, then everyone in pakistan would be great."
abe dhyaan se dekh 'ek condom phasa' likha hai,"see it carefully, it’s written “stick one condom”"
"Jcd/Har Saal ki trah is Saal B'MAHASHIVRATRI ' 17 , Feb Subh 8se Sham 7bje tak ShamShan Bhumi'MASANY'me Mnai Jaegi Hindu Bair Drshn dy : PHGP/JCD","just like every year, this year also mahashivratri will be celebrated at cremation ground on 17th february, 8:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m."
"Bengaluru : T20 World Cup 2016 , Aaj Ka Doosra Match Srilanka Aur WestIndies Ki Darmian Khaila Jaye Ga , Match Shaam 7 Baje Shuru Hoga .","bengaluru: t20 world cup 2016, today second match will be played between srilanka and westindies, the match will start at evening 7 pm."
Yahan kharaab karne ko rakha kya hai?,what is there to lose here?
Gujarat Lions aaj jeetega.,today gujarat lions will win.
aisa hi kuch saal pehle ho chuka hai https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/471211381077721088 …,the same thing has happened before several years. https://twitter.com/BolshoyBooze/status/471211381077721088
RT @Sharma_rajni29 : @Gurmeetramrahim #MSGappeals u r real care taker guru paa . hats off tu ur teachings ...,@Sharma_rajni29 : @Gurmeetramrahim #MSGappeals you are a real caretaker. hats off to your teachings.
modi uncle aab sirf baton se kaam nahi chalega .  ab kuch kar dikhane ka time hai .,modi uncle now you can’t get away only with talks. now it’s time to show some work.
practical karne ke baad b practical ke no  .  ni miley :-p,"even after performing practical, i wasn’t rewarded marks."
hahaha mast hai bro .  .  .  school summer vacation ki yaad dila di .  .  .  .  .,it’s great brother. you made me remember the summer vacations during school.
bestest gag .  .  . haha sb yaad dila dia,great gag. now i remember everything.
"@someUSER i hope all your loved ones back in maryland are okay !  i didn't see you ,  wednesday .  :)",@someUSER i hope all your loved ones back in maryland are okay? i didn’t see you on wednesday.
@MeetUunngLee @Dishasatra pyaar ke dushman hai sab. Ye Disha sabse badi.,@MeetUunngLee @Dishasatra everyone is an enemy of love. disha is the biggest enemy of love.
Phir le aaya dil majboor kya kije? Raas na aaya rehna durr kya kije? Dil keh raha usse musafarazkpishahjaa kar bhi aao.,"Helpless heart brought again, what to do? Did not like to stay away, what to do."
@nawab_lucknow Bihar me toh Sab ko bewacuf banaya jaa raha hai #NitishKaNakliVikas,@nawab_lucknow everyone is being fooled in bihar #NitishKaNakliVikas
o by god .  .  .  .  .  . supw jaisi waat aur kisi class mein nahi lagti thi !  !  !  !,by god. no other class troubled us like supw.
"Pyar bahot hai Ankeeta, bas kabhi jataya nahi","i love you a lot ankeeta, just never mentioned it."
@insane_chorri haha 20 ghante mil hi jaati hai :) UP kitna bhi peechhe ho par bachpan ki yaden judi hain :-),"@insane_chorri i get it for 20 hours. even though up is underdeveloped, my childhood memories are associated with it."
guddu rebel hai apna :),guddu is a rebel
hahaha .  .  . pandy ji asa hi karta hai rakesh ki saatha .  .  . hahaha .  .,pandy ji does this every time to rakesh
Goal koi bhi maare.. Champions trophy India hi layega. #UCLfinal,"anyone may score a goal, but india will bring the champions trophy. #UCLfinal"
he has the one .  .  .  .  .  . who run from delhi ncr (centre)  .  .  .  .  .  .  . we can't do believe on u kejri,he is the one who runs away from delhi ncr (centre). we can’t believe in you kejri
bhai condom laga le.. nahi to inki aabaadi badh jaegi @omar_quraishi,please wear condom brother otherwise their population will increase @omar_quraishi
"Kaka - Haati mere saathi

Ravish - Jaati mere saathi

 #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar",kaka-elephant is my friend. ravish-caste is my friend. #FarziPatrakarRavishKumar
"@samarjeet_n Mahashivratri ki bela me prarthana hai SHIV JI SABKA KALYAAN KAREN , Its a spiritual day of worship n prayer for us","@samarjeet_n there is prayer in mahashivratri mela, may shivji bless everyone. it’s a spiritual day of worship and prayer for us."
Koi Sambit Patra ko tag kar do. TV debates mein useful rahega.,someone please tag sambit patra. he is useful in tv debates.
i can't wait for the heat game tomorrow, heat vs knicks !
@drmalvika6 insan hai alcohol peeke khel raha hai,@drmalvika6 he is a person who is playing after having alcohol
"Deja Vu hoha tujhe.
""Dekhte hai"" :P",you have experienced deja vu. “let’s see”
"garbage bin kuch shaadi wadi ,  padosiyo se ladai ,  gumne ki trip wagerah ke post bhi dalo .  .  .  .  . ","garbage bin put posts related to weddings , neighbours’ fights or travel also."
@drpoonam @Dishasatra Mujhe kya milega?,@drpoonam @Dishasatra what will i get?
"Jadeja's mom: ""Suna hai aap school chhod rahe ho jald hi. Iska kya hoga fir? Virat se baat karwa dijiye thodi""",jadeja’s mom: “i’ve heard you are leaving the school early. what will happen to this? make me talk to virat.”
@Atheist_Krishna sabse kamaal hai ki kitna natural lag raha hai ye @JhaSanjay,@Atheist_Krishna it is wonderful how natural he looks @JhaSanjay
#NahiPata sohni Kurian Kahan Chali gae hain :p,#NahiPata i don’t know where sohni kurian went.
Thanks. Aankh mein aansu aa gaye.https://twitter.com/PushprajZala/status/589059245946974208 …,thanks. i have tears in my eyes. https://twitter.com/PushprajZala/status/589059245946974208
aap bhool gaye humko :(,you’ve forgotten me.
aane de election  .  .  .  priyanka gandhi agr khadi hue mere yahan se toh he vote dunga wrna nahi dene wala  .  .  .,"let the elections come. only if priyanka gandhi contests elections from my area i will vote, otherwise i won’t vote."
@Alllahdin mast banaya hai! Kya trailer kaata hai,@Alllahdin you’ve made it great! what a trailer it was.
@_SandSurfer waise bhi tere tweets me padhne jaisa kuch hota hai! lolol,@_SandSurfer anyways there is something to read in your tweets.
Aaila! manne khabar natthi @Ra_Bies,oh my god! i didn’t know @Ra_Bies
@Bihar_ke_lala @narendramodi hash tag na bhuliye.,@Bihar_ke_lala @narendramodi don’t forget the hashtag.
@Jamuntini Oh. Toh around sinhagad bhi chalegi. Suna hai bahaut  cute naariyan tehelti hai wahan.,@Jamuntini oh. so it will do around sinhagad also. i’ve heard there’s really cute naariyan tehelti over there.
"bijle -pani dekar rahege ,  brasttachar meta k rahege .  delhi walo abke bar app logo ko 90% se upper vote karna hai .  ghar may mat bhatho ,  baher niklo aur vote karo . ","we’ll rest only after providing water and electricity and removing corruption. people of delhi this time the voter percentage should be above 90. don’t sit at home, go out and vote."
@ek_samosa_dena @Alllahdin Hum abhi thoda Bacardi wale Santa bane hai.,@ek_samosa_dena @Alllahdin even i’ve been the santa with bacardi
"Aajkal metro le raha hu, paise khatam. :P","nowadays i’m using metro, money over."
"
Ye stud hai, bakwas na kar","he’s a stud, don’t talk stupidly."
"""Yeh Chand sa Roshan Chehra Zulfon Ka Rang Sunehra Yeh Jheel Si Neeli Ankhen Koi Raaz Hai Inme Gehra Taarif Karu..""pic.twitter.com/ijVt7uSfzv","“this face lights up like moon, your hair are golden. your eyes are blue like a lake, where there is a deep secret hidden. praise them” pic.twitter.com/ijVt7uSfzv"
RT @MaheishGirri : Supreme sacrifice of Sikh Gurus to d nation disgraced !! @ArvindKejriwal supports killer Aurangzeb #ShameOnKejriwal https :,@MaheishGirri : supreme sacrifice of sikh gurus to the nation disgraced !! @ArvindKejriwal supports killer aurangzeb @ShameOnKejriwal https:
#Dhoni #msdhoni ki asli age aa gayee kya adhaar card par ?,#Dhoni #msdhoni does he have his real age on adhaar card?
@ek_samosa_dena Sagarika ki aatma aa gayee kya tere me,@ek_samosa_dena is sagarika’s soul in your body?
@coolfunnytshirt it was sachhi ghatnaa,@coolfunnytshirt it was a true story.
"G "" Suna hai my dear dost Obama ke baad dear friend #Trump ko bulaya Ja rha hai 0 #Abe to aakar chale Jane 0","i’ve heard that after my dear friend obama, #Trump is being called #Abe then come by and go."
"Bhai @sardesairajdeep aajkal tumhare sitare gardish mein hain, har koi tumhari le raha hai. kam bola karo.","brother @sardesairajdeep nowadays the stars are aligned in your circle, everyone is making fun of you. speak less."
RT @ArvindKejriwal : All medicines are now available free in Delhi Govt hospitals https://t.co/Ux8A3dp4g2,@ArvindKejriwal : all medicines are now available for free in delhi government hospitals https://t.co/Ux8A3dp4g2
"cant wait to move to hawaii this saturday !  promotion ,  new townhouse ,  new car &amp; with myking .  .  .  definitely a happy girl :)","can’t wait to move to hawaii this saturday! i’ve a promotion, new townhouse, new house and with my king. definitely a happy girl."
Hello Phaji Aaj mere #Birthday Hai Aaj to tweet Kar doji @MikaSingh Jab takaap tweets Nahi Karo I will not cut cake ! https://t.co/8MbRv6wsrS,"hello, today is my #Birthday. atleast tweet today. @MikaSingh till you won’t tweet i won’t cut the cake.https://t.co/8MbRv6wsrS"
@sweetisadana mujhe to pata tha.. Ye twitter wale bewakoof hi nahi samaj paaye @NaughtyDew_,@sweetisadana i knew it already. foolish people of twitter could not understand. @NaughtyDew_
"this is an historical gag in this series . this signifies  "" guddu aab bara ho chuka hai ""   .  .  .  . ",this is an historical gag in the series. this signifies that “guddu has grown up now”
super .  .  .  .  .  . yaha bhi hoga waha bhi hoga ab to sare jaha me hoga .  .  .  .,"super. it will happen here, it will happen there, now it will happen in the whole universe."
ind world jitegi hi nhi khushi kanha milegi .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .,"india will not win world 'cup ', how to get happy."
i love maaa's expression ,-)
Yo wale gaane nahi chahiye yaar :-/ Calm and melodious I said,i don’t want these types of songs. calm and melodious i said.
"Bhai, aap EMO ho","brother, you are emotional."
Bihari buddhi walo ne phir Bihar latka diya..,people with bihari wisdom again screwed up bihar.
"Guy 1: Bro, your name?
Guy 2: Singhal, Rajesh Singhal
Guy 1: Bhai, main bhi single hi hu, tension kyu le raha hai?","guy 1: brother, your name? guy 2: singhal, rajesh singhal. guy 1: brother, even i’m single, why are you worried?"
@zZoker tujhe Abhishek has Aishwarya bro. Nothing else matters to him,@zZoker abhishek has aishwarya brother. nothing else matters to him.
"Tumhare liye nahi tha yaar, general statement hai. Ya allah! ","it wasn’t for you, it was a general statement. oh my god!"
mohammed ji kya salman khan ko sachmooch kisine kidnap kiya h pls bataiye na....,"mohammed sir, did someone actually kidnap salman khan, please tell."
lekin cover bhi sabse majboot isi ka tha:p,but even the cover of this was the strongest.
Yaha har Friday ko logo ki galatfahmiya door hoti hain. Is baar Kapil Sharma ki bhi ho jayegi.,every friday people’s misconceptions are cleared here. this time kapil sharma will clear his.
Asli samajwadi toh yahi Yadav hai waise.,this yadav is an actual samajwadi.
"Yeh mene kya ""Kiya unhone #GST nehi liya. But mene toh #bill upload kiya",what did i do. they didn’t accept @GST. but i had uploaded my #bill
@iamGunjanGrunge Yes Bhai :) #TeamScofield,@iamGunjanGrunge yes brother. #TeamScofield
"@MeetUunngLee bhai tum kanyan ke dil mein base ho, tum relationship bina rakhe relationship mein ho. Paay laagu _/\_",@MeetUunngLee brother you reside in kanyan’s heart. even without maintaining a relationship you are in a relationship. i touch your feet. 
@retardedwriter @Ra_Bies kya bekaar hai yaar ye,@retardedwriter @Ra_Bies what rubbish is this.
"Matlab Hrithik, koi toh accha movie kar lo yaar.","hrithik, please make a good movie."
2015 ke sabse bada jhoot !,2015’s biggest lie.
"hamesha se ek hi DP hai tumhari, full doubt hai launde ho tum.",since forever you have the same display picture. i have a doubt that you are a guy.
@dhaval241086 ghar ka bhedi lanka dhaayee @DefucktiveHumor,@dhaval241086 an insider causes the maximum damage @DefucktiveHumor
bring it on cd signing and performance event w @someUSER tomorrow at 300pm .  barnes and noble on 86th and lexington in manhattsn:-),"bring it on, cd signing and performance event with @someUSER tomorrow at 3:00 pm. barnes and noble on 86th and lexington in manhattsn:-)"
You Are Absolutely right Jab se @BJP4India ayi hai tab se desh ke janta paresan hai kabhi #DeMonetisation kabhi #GST bas lout loo har angel se,"you are absolutely right. since @BHP4India came into power, the public is anxious. sometimes it’s #DeMonetisation sometimes #GST, just loot the people from every angle."
Aadhi Modi ne jalayee thi bachi khuchi Zuckerburg ne jala di. Burnol bhi fail.,half was burnt down by modi and the other half by zuckerburg. even burnol is a fail.
best part of everyone life .  .  .  .  mom always cares .  .  .  .,the best part of everyone’s life is that mom always cares.
"ab bina anoriod mobile ke bhi paye free recharge , ",now even without android mobile get free recharge.
are .  .  . pure desh me kejari se jhuth balne wala .  . aur lalchi .  . jo .  . kursi .  . ke liye .  .  .  . kuchhh bhi kar skta hai .  .  .,kejari is greedy and telling lies to the entire nation. he can do anything for position.
"kuch to horaha hai, sab kar rahe hai ye. ","at least something is happening, everyone is doing this"
"@Prankoholic tumko matlab kya time hai din ka, kuch samaj nahi aata na",@Prankoholic so you don’t understand the value of time.
@MeetUunngLee @imcomplicated__ tere fans zyada hai,@MeetUunngLee @imcomplicated__ you have more fans.
"Why this patronizing statement?
Ye iss desh ke dadaji kyun banna chah rahe hai?https://twitter.com/Javedakhtarjadu/status/837322457371508736 …",Why this patronizing statement? why is he trying to be the grandfather of the nation? https://twitter.com/Javedakhtarjadu/status/837322457371508736
Lagta hai pakistan mai padai likhai zoro par hai !! Sarfaraz v english bol raha hai !! #indvspak #ChampionsTrophy 17 #bleedblue #surgicalstrike,it seems like the education of pakistan is great!! even sarfaraz is speaking english!! #indvspak #ChampionsTrophy 17 #bleedblue #surgicalstrike
4 baj gaye lekin salman ji nahin aye. :/,the time is 4 but salman has not come.
Sir ye @sanjaynirupam wahi hain na jo #SurgicalStrike ka proof manga tha ? Sayad mil gaya #BMCresult,sir is @sanjaynirupam the one who was asking for proof of #SurgicalStrike? looks like he got it #BMCresult 
We dnt blv sch nonsense keep da gud wrk!!,"we don’t believe such nonsense, keep up the good work!!"
#GST se underwear ka daam me kuch badlaav hone wale hai kya? Aaj kharid leta hu kuch stock.,is there going to be a difference in the price of underwear because of #GST? today i will buy some stock.
"drum stream scheduled for tomorrow postponed til next saturday on the 3rd of november .  until then ,  a diablo iii stream !  http/URL","drum stream scheduled for tomorrow is postponed till next saturday that is 3rd of november. until then, a diablo iii stream ! http/URL"
@stfu_veer tu gay hai?,@stfu_veer are you gay?
"@desi_dime #mauka is dont become , Gumraah , Watch #IndvsSA Sahi Raah",@desi_dime #mauka don’t be fooled. watch #IndvsSA
"Vemula, Dadri ki sachchai saamne aayee .. tab aapke muh me bhi to dahi jama tha.. aur ye MP me congressi karwa rahe danga.. just FYIhttps://twitter.com/angryoungwoman/status/873378817737359361 …","vemula, dadri’s truth is in front of us. at that time curd was in your mouth. just for your information the congress people are doing riots https://twitter.com/angryoungwoman/status/873378817737359361"
"Iski shakal dekhi hui lagti hai, shayad desi porn ke koi site par.https://twitter.com/msnindia/status/628517197271273472 …",i’ve seen his face somewhere. i think on some local porn site. https://twitter.com/msnindia/status/628517197271273472
"kal aana haan, mast naha dho ke aana, party,mereko koi lottery nahi lagi aur mere ko koi wrong no bhi nahi aaya @humasqureshi",come tomorrow after bathing. i haven’t won any lottery nor have i received any wrong number call. @humasqureshi
ye degi tumko chummi @Ra_Biespic.twitter.com/d7KHcFed2w,she will kiss you @Ra_Biespic.twitter.com/d7KHcFed2w
bhai @Atheist_Krishna iss @SarcastiCharm launde me dum hai pic.twitter.com/MJFLG0w39r,"brother @Atheist_Krishna, this @SarcastiCharm is a tough guy pic.twitter.com/MJFLG0w39r"
Chupp! @YearOfRat tum bhi yaar?!,shut up! @YearOfRat you also friend?!
yadav ji on track . hail sir jadejaa .. :) #indvspak,yadav sir is on track. everyone hair to sir jadejaa. #indvspak
Raat mein aaine mein dekho toh khud bhi nahi dikhoge sir jihttps://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/148817896771039232 …,you won’t see yourself if you look in the mirror at night. https://twitter.com/ashutosh83B/status/148817896771039232
@Alllahdin @KyaUkhaadLega Where? Jaldi nikal kar aajata hu,@Alllahdin @KyaUkhaadLega where? i’ll exit and reach early.
"Girl: Shayad meri shaadi ka khayal dil me aaya hai, isiliye mummy ne meri tumhe chai pe bulaya hai..

Shakti Shetty: Chai ke sath biscuits?","girl: the thought of marriage has come in heart, that’s why my mom has called you for tea. shakti shetty: will i get biscuits with tea?"
"Achha hi hai, women empowerment chahiye. Aur suno... 
Yaar mera recharge karo do yaar 100 rupye ka","it’s good, we need women empowerment. and listen, please recharge my phone worth Rs. 100."
"Amitabh Bachchan:""Commentary karni hai. Seekhna toh padega""

Arun Lal:""Bitch please!""",amitabh bachchan: “want to do commentary. will have to learn”. arun lal: “bitch please!”
@roshd Beer pitcher abhi baaki hai mere dost.,@roshd beer pitcher is still left my friend.
"@Ra_Bies woh pyar ka keeda jab pichwaade mein kaat ta hai, tab ashru shabd bankar twitter timeline spam karte hai.","@Ra_Bies when the love bug bites in the butt, then tears convert to words and spam the twitter timeline."
kaha ho....aap salman,where are you salman.
@Sonu_ChaiPoha aur karo ungli,@Sonu_ChaiPoha still poke.
"@babagkaghanta @Alllahdin @anpadh00 @retardedwriter @MeetUunngLee jeewan safal huwa hai aaj, aashirwad dijiye","@babagkaghanta @Alllahdin @anpadh00 @retardedwriter @MeetUunngLee my life is successful today, bless me."
Yahan YouTube par dekh kar omelette nahi bana paate log.https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/839809165279256576 …,people can’t make omelette even after watching on youtube.https://twitter.com/ANI_news/status/839809165279256576
Rohit Sharma ji apna rang dikhate huye .. #Ind vs NZ,rohit sharma showing his true colour. #Ind vs nz
iska throw main kholunga hahaha too good ,-)
@divyaszaika bohot kharaab ho tum,@divyaszaika you are very bad.
@SAfridiOfficial gone ... !!!! Thanks to ALLAH itni turning pitch per us ka koi kaam bhi nahin tha :),"@SAfridiOfficial gone! thanks to allah, on such a turning pitch he was of no use."
shan ki kick to awesome hai yaar .  .  udbilao ki tashreef uda di .  .  :d,shan’s kick is awesome. he dishonoured udbilao.
@Paaaaayu Ghar ki deewaro par lagaye JK wall putty,@Paaaaayu apply jk wall putty on the walls of home.
@raggedtag chhodo na ek Hi baat hai,"@raggedtag leave it, it’s the same thing."
RT @coolfunnytshirt : . @ArvindKejriwal one is challenging the Pakistan govt & the other is challenging the Delhi govt .. is it true ?,@coolfunnytshirt : . @ArvindKejriwal one is challenging the pakistan government and the other is challenging the delhi government. is it true?
@SugarSad_ sab ajeeb behave kare hai😊n i m like meri bhi zindagi mein problem hai but still i m coping up,"@SugarSad_ is behaving weirdly. and i’m like, i have many problems still i’m coping up."
".@i_fattimaayyy main toh tumhare pyaar mein gum hogaya hu DP dekh kar, baaki deshwale match dekh rahe hai.",@i_fattimaayyy  i’m lost in your love after seeing your display picture. other countrymen are watching match.
"""Hello.. Amit Shah Sahab ghar pe hai..""pic.twitter.com/yrI5TjZOOS",“Hello. is sir amit shah at home” pic.twitter.com/yrI5TjZOOS
@byomkesbakshi hahaha.. Par ab to aam ka mausam aane wale hai @iamGunjanGrunge @iridebikegear,@byomkesbakshi but now the season of mangoes is about to arrive @iamGunjanGrunge @iridebikegear
bhut baar kiya hai ye !  but har baar chapet mili thi !,i’ve done this a lot of times! but every time i got a slap!
Need 4 large pegs of bhaad mein gayi duniya.,i need 4 large pegs. let the world burn.
_/\\_ must have felt light as a bird eh ...,you must have felt light as a bird.
@LeftArmOver_ watermark bhi kar diye ho. Dhund ke marega,@LeftArmOver_ you have watermarked also. you will find and kill
@Singhlicious haan bhai.,@Singhlicious yes brother.
@iamGunjanGrunge naya maal aaya hai.. Pehle bol 'bhai tu world best bhai hai',@iamGunjanGrunge i’ve got new supply. first say ‘you are the best in the world’
Galt baat ke muslmano kai khilaf ovisey ka sath de na de.....galt q bola...?,whether ovisey supports the musalmano saying wrong thing or not. why did he lie?
"Tu unke muh par thepla maar, mirchi ke saath",hit a thepla on his face with mirchi.
@Ojasism  hum bhi kabhi celeb banenge. 10-12 saal ke baad,@Ojasism  sometime even we would be celebrity. after 10-12 years.
gazzab yaar ye guddu bhi na ekdum mast banda hai :),this guddu is amazing. he is a nice person.
bhai ki bat hi alag hai. . .sb se hat k. . .bhai salman. . .,he is totally different. brother salman.
"
Magar achhi DP hai, chaava lag raha hai!",but it’s a nice display picture. you’re looking like a girl!
"RD Burman tha, Rafi ki awaaz nahi","it was rd burman, not rafi’s voice."
@Being_Humor @iPoonampandey ye ho chuka hai :-/,@Being_Humor @iPoonampandey this has already been done
7 mins left......waiting bhai......,7 minutes left. waiting brother.
Maine kya bigada hai tumhara?,What harm have I done to you?
"@premlata_rai @Dishasatra kitne khush lag rahe ho tum dono, aapas mein has kar. Khush raho hamesha","@premlata_rai @Dishasatra how happy you look, laughing together. Stay happy always"
Mar gaye. Hardik Pandya aa raha hai.,We are dead. Hardik Pandya is coming.
"#modiji Zara gour kijiye #petrol ke baare me or #GST ke bare ""me bullet train se zyada Abhi India me or zyada zaruri hai jo roz marrati 3/4",#modiji please take note of #petrol and of #GST more than bullet train right now in India are more important daily 3/4
Mahashivratri ki hardik mangalkamnayen . JAI SHIVSHANKAR [ D . S . Rai ],Heartfelt wishes for Mahashivratri. Hail Lord Shiva. [D. S. Rai]
@scratchysingh min issi gam mein ro rah hu bhai,@scratchysingh even I am crying in the same sadness brother
in 27 hours i know if im gonna see the boys live on may 1st !  !  omgg im sooo scared for tomorrow !,in 27 hours i know if i'm gonna see the boys live on may 1st !!  oh my god i'm so scared for tomorrow!
@GovtOfIndia_ Ko jald hi #JNU kesi university ke khilaf action Lena chahiye nahi chahiye university jaha desh virodhi nare lagte h,@GovtOfIndia_ should soon take action against universities like #JNU. We don't want a university that shouts anti national slogans
@mainbhiengineer haha. Kahan yaar. Is bar to bahut bekar gaya Fantasy. Last 3-4 match se thoda thik hua hai. Kya tips du.,"@mainbhiengineer haha. Where, friend. This time Fantasy went very bad. It is getting better than the last 3-4 matches. What tips can I give you?"
@Insane_chorri Bajrangi Bhaijaan dikhwa ke vida karenge,@Insane_chorri we will bid you farewell by showing Bajrangi Bhaijaan
Sir pls kaise aapse contact kare batana pls ????,"Sir, please tell me how to contact you?"
"""Kuch bhi kijo bas baarish na kijo"" - South Africans #NZvSA",“Do anything but don't rain” - South Africans #NzvSA
"Simar makkhi ban gayi hai aur tum logon ko Sansa ki maut ki padi hai?
Desh prem kahan hai tumhara?
Disgraceful.
#SasuralSimarKa",Simar has turned into an ant here and you all are still concerned with Sansa’s death? Where is your  patriotism? Disgraceful. #SasuralSimarKa
@CopyWalaTweet sahi me sharam aa gayee,"@CopyWalaTweet really, I am feeling ashamed"
@Atheist_Krishna Is photo ka istemal hazar bar mujhe jaleel karne ke liye ho chuka hai :( @BolshoyBooze @Ra_Bies,@Atheist_Krishna This photo has been used to embarrass me a thousand times :( @BolshoyBooze @Ra_Bies
"#CompleteTheLyrics
Min bhi aashiq yaar hua, pehli baar hua...","#CompleteTheLyrics Even I became a lover, for the first time…"
@MikaSingh bhai tu rehne de. Tere hisab se to tu arijit singh se better singer hai.,"@MikaSingh brother, just let it be. By your account, you are a better singer than Arijit Singh"
Doston #GST..... lagoo ho gya hai .aap support kare ya na kare ab koi fark padnewala NH hai..aur han... I ALSO SUPPORT #GST,"Friends, #GST ..... has already become applicable. your support or opposition does not matter.. ad yes... I ALSO SUPPORT #GST"
@LoKarDi_RT haha. Ubhar ubhar ke bahar aa rahi hai,@LoKarDi_RT haha.
Happy Mahashivratri Status For Whatsapp : Shiv Ki Mahima Aprampar Shiv Hai Karte Sabka Uddhar Kripa Bhole Ki Sa ... http://t.co/vv205SFeyR,Happy Mahashivratri Status For Whatsapp: Shiv's glory is non perishable Shiv does salvation for all It is Bhole's graciousness ... http://t.co/vv205SFeyR
@someUSER cof cof~ someone is going to germany on november 30  .  .  . oh i really envy you :) http/URL,@someUSER cough cough someone is going to germany on november 30 ... oh i really envy you :) http/URL
@Atheist_Krishna jab tak tere jaise dost hai aise hi guzarni padegi.,@Atheist_Krishna I will have to live like this till the time I have friends like you
"mario ,  bomber man ,  road fighter and duck hunt .  .  .  contra tak ke liye ek alag cassette lena padta tha !  ! ","We had to buy cassettes for mario, bomber man, road fighter and duck hunt ... and even contra !!"
RT @DesiOptimystic : @rahulroushan My sources tell me that Arvind Kejriwal and Rahul Gandhi had a secret meeting with Rajdeep and Barkha to,RT @DesiOptimystic : @rahulroushan My sources tell me that Arvind Kejriwal and Rahul Gandhi had a secret meeting with Rajdeep and Barkha to
"She: Mujhe nau lakh ka manga de re oh saiyya deewane
He: *gets Rs.9 lakh worth necklace*
She: Doosri design nahi mili kya?","She: Please get me nine lakhs oh my lover
He: *gets Rs.9 lakh worth necklace*
She: Didn't you get any other design?"
"Neem ka patta kadwa hai
Imad Hassan ......  hai!

#MatchNaara #IndvPak","Neem leaves are bitter
Imaad Hassan is …… !

#MatchNaara #IndvPak"
"Tumhare ghar mein paani na aaye aur tanki na bhare koi problem nahi, magar tax zaroor bhariyega.","It doesn't matter if you don't get water at your home or the tank doesn't get filled, but please pay the tax."
"Mashallah 2.3k comments and likes r 33,966 great 300 crores hai bhai ki film kai","By Allah's grace 2.3k comments and likes are 33,966 great bhai's film is of 300 crores"
@SaakshiSRawat @vine aliens aya kya jaadoo,"@SaakshiSRawat @vine did aliens come, jaadoo"
"""News - Djokovic spotted with Deepika""
Ranbir: 
Siddharth Mallya: 
Ranveer: 
Yuvraj - Pehle hi bataya tha,  samajh nahi aaya tumlogon ko","""News - Djokovic spotted with Deepika""
Ranbir: 
Siddharth Mallya: 
Ranveer: 
Yuvraj - I had told you earlier, you didn't understand"
"Sir ji you r great,Ap sirf bidesh Bhraman korenge ya Desh Ki bachhe ko v khayal rakhenge,Kitna garub hai hum log,Diya koro sahab","Respected Sir you are great, Will you only tour the country or think about the country's children too, How poor are we, Please have mercy sir"
"@indiantweeter ye bahot hi alag dimesnion par chali gayi baat, magar theek hai!","@indiantweeter this conversation went to a very different dimension, but it's okay!"
"Dharam paaji ke khud do dharam hain, sikh bhi aur musalman bhi.","Dharam brother himself has two religions, sikh as well as muslim"
free ka maal aisa hi hota hai,free goods are like this only
Film aane wali hai to hakla aa gaya line pe.. Still we will #BoycottDilwalehttps://twitter.com/abpnewstv/status/677097452093091842��,Film is coming so stutterer has come to sanity .. Still we will #BoycottDilwalehttps://twitter.com/abpnewstv/status/677097452093091842
.@Atheist_Krishna Gustakhi maaf kardo.. Ladko se galti ho jaati haipic.twitter.com/modNSVsnoJ,.@Atheist_Krishna Forgive me sorry .. boys make mistakes pic.twitter.com/modNSVsnoJ
ye peso se ai bhidddd hy .  .,this crowd has come from money ..
@friendlii_ghost modi ki photo dekh ke dara mat,@friendlii_ghost don't scare me by showing modi's photo
"LOL @retardedwriter ki salary deposit huwi hai aaj. 
Just saying.","LOL @retardedwriter's salary got deposited today.
Just saying."
@Atheist_Krishna baki ye dono kha gayepic.twitter.com/p0wWD8n3q0,@Atheist_Krishna rest these two ate away pic.twitter.com/p0wWD8n3q0
@Being_Humor LOL! Aur ye fornication ko ek alag andaaz se dekhte huwe,@Being_Humor LOL! And they look at Fornication in a different way
Haan. Aur gift me ek dusre ko award bhi mil gaya. Baaratiyo ka khane ka bhi kharcha nahi. Best place to marry.https://twitter.com/RahulA148/status/696385213547425792��,Yes. And as a  gift also got an award for each other. No expenses of feeding the guests too. Best place to marry. https://twitter.com/RahulA148/status/696385213547425792
"RT @AAPDelhiFeeds : Najafgarh - MLA , Kailash Gahlot inspects water pipeline being laid in Jai Vihar . https://t.co/ORikOObuVw","&
"
RTs ke liye saala kuch bhi karega ~ @JasleenKaur89,Will do anything for RTs stupid ~ @JasleenKaur89
bhai tera jawab ni h awesome yr .,brother you don't have an answer. awesome friend.
@chubbyaa hota hai bhai,@chubbyaa it happens brother
aunty ko jawan ladka chahiye bht confuse h  .  guys  .  .,aunty needs a young boy but is confused. guys ..
@Sand_In_Deed dhundo se to bhagwaan bhi mil jata hai bhai,@Sand_In_Deed you will even find god if you look for him
RT @aaanupriyaaa : #IndvsPak 😂😂 true that .. or kya chaiye salo tumhe ! https://t.co/3gixs2NqiD,RT @aaanupriyaaa : #IndvsPak 😂😂 true that .. what more do you want idiots ! https://t.co/3gixs2NqiD
"Intolerance nahi badha hai, attention paane ki hawas badhi hai.","Intolerance hasn't increased, hunger for attention has increased."
@shashi_ks bhai raeeso ke chochale hai,@shashi_ks brother these are rich peoples' tantrums
@KhanMobeena Kitni Ajeeb hai Gunaaho ki Justuju #Iqbal ..! Namaaz bhi jaldi main padtey hain log phir se #gunaah karne k liye ..!,@KhanMobeena How strange is the quest of crimes #Iqbal ..! People even read the Namaaz in a hurry for doing #gunaah again ..!
so good yar  .  .  .  sari yada taja kar di  .  .  .  .,so good friend . . . you refreshed all memories . . . .
"F . Leag Worker Faqeer ismail soomro k bhatije ka intiqal ho gaya hai , nimaz janaza 11 : am Ko Goth Agham wasan ( near khaskhali water ) Me hogi ,","F . Leag Worker Faqeer ismail soomro's nephew has passed away, funeral prayers at 11 am will be held in Goth Agham wasan ( near khaskhali water )"
@narendramodi Sir ab ek aur #SurgicalStrike karwa dijiye thoda attention divert ho jaayega #PakWinCT 2017 se .,"@narendramodi Sir please do one more #SurgicalStrike, some attention will get diverted from #PakWinCT 2017."
@iamGunjanGrunge Tujhe pata hai kya bolna hai..,@iamGunjanGrunge you know what has to be said..
@tweeting_pal nahi aise hi dekhna hai aapka live haal  @aajtak,@tweeting_pal no just like that wanted to see your condition live @aajtak
"@EngineeRoholic bas kar Gogi, rulayega kya?","@EngineeRoholic stop it Gogi, will you make me cry now?"
Matlab tu film dekhne nahi jayega bhai ? https://twitter.com/kamaalrkhan/status/715592967222923264��,Means you will not go to see the film brother? https://twitter.com/kamaalrkhan/status/715592967222923264
"@ra_bies lol usse bhi pehle mujhe kuchh aisa hi khayal aaya tha https://twitter.com/WatDaDuck_/status/605942145040543744��
agla kaun? :D","@ra_bies lol even before that I had a similar thought https://twitter.com/WatDaDuck_/status/605942145040543744
who's next? :D"
Udhar mil rahi hai bhaang pic.twitter.com/wgdiQHPvKs,We are getting cannabis there only pic.twitter.com/wgdiQHPvKs
udbilaao .  .  wow bahut din baad yeh suna hai .  .  my grandma used to call me that,udbilaao ..  wow heard that after many days .  .  my grandma used to call me that
@KShisodia yaar mera khayal bhi rakh lo,@KShisodia friend take care of me too
"Dr Kumar Vishwas: ""Koi deewana kehta hai.. koi pagal samajhta hai..""
Audience:pic.twitter.com/xJ8Cl5LxW6","Dr Kumar Vishwas: ""Some used to say lover.. Some used to say crazy..""
Audience:pic.twitter.com/xJ8Cl5LxW6"
"Me: Aaj kuch toofani karte hai.

Mom: Pani ki bottles bhar ke fridge mein rakh de.","Me: Let's do some stormy today.

Mom: Fill the water bottles and keep them in the fridge."
"Pyar mangi to Jaan dengi,milk mango to kher dengi,agaar Kashmir mangi to chir dengi.","Ask for love we'll give life, ask for milk we'll give porridge, ask for Kashmir we'll tear you"
@imcomplicated__ kaale kaale baal gaal gore gore,@imcomplicated__black black hair cheeks fair fair
Ye sab aunty'on ke saath?,All this with aunties?