Me and a Gun
"Me and a Gun" is a song by American singer-songwriter and musician Tori Amos. It was released as the first single from her debut studio album "Little Earthquakes". It was released on October 21, 1991 by Atlantic Records in North America and EastWest Records in the UK. Background. The song is three minutes and 44 seconds long. Amos wrote the song about being raped in Los Angeles when she was 21. After she performed at a bar, a patron asked her if he could have a ride home. She obliged, and he raped her at  knifepoint. Years later, in London, she saw the film "Thelma and Louise" and was stirred. Amos discussed the attack in a 1994 interview: "I'll never talk about it at this level again but let me ask you. Why have I survived that kind of night, when other women didn't? How am I alive to tell you this tale when he was ready to slice me up? In the song I say it was 'Me and a Gun' but it wasn't a gun. It was a knife he had. And the idea was to take me to his  friends and cut me up, and he kept telling me that, for hours. And if he hadn't needed more drugs I would have been just one more news report, where you see the parents grieving for their daughter. And I was singing hymns, as I say in the song, because he told me to. I sang to stay alive. Yet I survived that torture, which left me urinating all over myself and left me paralyzed for years. That's what that night was all about, mutilation, more than violation through sex. I really do feel as though I was  psychologically mutilated that night and that now I'm trying to put the pieces back together again. Through love, not hatred. And through my music. My strength has been to open again, to life, and my victory is the fact that, despite it all, I kept alive my vulnerability." When released as a single, the track was not the A-side: "Silent All These Years," another song from "Little Earthquakes", was the first track, with "Me and a Gun" appearing third (or as the B-side on the 7" release). "Silent All These Years" was a more accessible song, and  radio stations began to play that instead. Ultimately the single was re-released with nearly identical packaging but retitled as "Silent All These Years." Amos made a habit of singing this song during live appearances. In 1994, the DC Rape Crisis Center awarded her a Visionary award for the song and the co-creation of RAINN. Amos stopped singing the song live in December 2001 and did not sing it live again until September 2007 (with the exception of one performance in Istanbul in August 2005). Effect on rape myths. The lyrics of Me and a Gun address the rape  myth where some people believe that a woman who dresses in revealing clothes is somehow responsible for her rape. Amos acknowledges wearing a revealing red top and challenges her rapist with the question of whether this made him think she deserved to be raped. A survey of thousands of Amos listeners revealed that only about 6% of the Amos listeners believed this myth as compared to 26% of the general population. This was the rape myth most rejected by Amos listeners, but the survey went on to analyze the attitudes of Amos listeners to other rape myths as well. All  rape myths were rejected more strongly--to varying degrees--by Amos listeners than by the general population. Track listing. Tracks 1 & 3 are from the album. Track 2 also appeared on the single for "Winter". Track 4 was otherwise unavailable until it was remastered and released on the deluxe reissue of Little Earthquakes in 2015.