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For Zeethan, from Mommy (My storie 9)
2009/02/20 by Zee	26 Kommentaar
Ons het so twee terug hierdie brief van Zeethan se ma ontvang. Ek skryf eintlik nooit oor C nie maar ek het gevoel dat ek tog hierdie met julle wil deel. Daar is nog hoop. Sy lyk baie goed en sy was baie verras toe ek hom die 26ste Desember gevat het om haar te sien. To my dearest Angel,
I am writing you this letter for you to hold and keep close to your heart. For a very special day. That special day will be the day that you will be old enough to understand the world around you and the true meaning of life. One day you will want to know the truth, the truth about what happened, the truth how I really felt about you. Firstly you are a very lucky little boy; you are also a very strong and special little boy. God really loves you a lot and definitely wanted you to be apart of this world. I know this because you made it, you made it through it all, and that’s why I say that you are a very special little boy. I will and always will be your mommy and daddy will always be your daddy, that’s the way God chose for it to be. I knew that from the very first day that I found out that I was pregnant and that’s why I chose to keep you and bring you into this world. The truth is that I was on drugs, very bad drugs so I never really cared about myself, I lost total respect for my myself, so much that I nearly died. I was scarred at first when I found out about you, I never had a job and I was a drug addict, but one thing was for sure, I wasn’t going to have an abortion no matter how people felt. People thought maybe you would be brain damaged as I used drugs right through my pregnancy except for the 3 months that I was in Noupoort. I changed when I was there, I stopped drugs, I stopped smoking and I even gave my life to Jesus. Your daddy and I were supposed to be married, we had everything going for us and then I left. I messed things up. I guess that I was selfish and landed up hurting a lot of people around me, including you. Don’t get me wrong, you were mine and no one could ever take you away from me because you were inside of my tummy. I would like to say that I am sorry for doing that to you. Your daddy used to hold my tummy to feel you kick, those were special moments, even when I saw you on the scan to me you were beautiful. I loved you daddy very much and that’s one of the reasons why I love you so much and this because through you, your daddy, (((you))) and I will always be made one. When you came out of my tummy I heard your cry, a cry I’ll never forget. For the first time in my life I had done one thing right, I had kept you and you were mine and no one would ever change that. I only had one problem. I was still weak and even although I wasn’t independent; I so badly wanted to take you home with me. Then when I found out that I was unable to take you home, my heart broke into two and leaving the hospital without you made me feel lost. No one really knew how I felt deep down; know one knew what I went through. Always remember that I never signed those papers to get rid of you, I signed those papers because I didn’t want you to go to some funny home, so instead I gave you to your granny as she cared so much for you and wanted you to have the best, and now you really do have the best. Zeethan, mommy carried you for 8 months and so because of that we will always have a connection. The best thing that happened for me was to be sentenced to 3 years. I have been sentenced here for 8 months and 2 weeks now, and I am a changed person now. I am doing courses. I am also doing my matric now so that I can study further and get a real job one day to support you and buy you nice things. I started 3 days ago saving some of my tuck shop money for you.
Your granny was kind enough to bring you all the way to see me. It was a very special day for me because it was the first time that I saw you being clean. You are so, so beautiful, you are my little boy, you look just like daddy. In the beginning it was hard for me as I was so hurt and frustrated that I felt like I couldn’t go through what I was about to go through without drugs. But as time went on I started becoming stronger and the more I admitted to myself that I was selfish, I was wrong the more I started to change deep within myself. I now have changed and from now on I will always be there for you. I am so happy I saw you as you are my will to change, I know that now. I love you Zeethan, you are my shining little star, that’s why I named you Zeethan because it means shining. It felt like you were born yesterday and now on the 28/01/2009 you will turn 2 years old. Happy Birthday my Angel. I am sorry I can’t be with you on your big day, but I will be thinking of you, and this will be the last birthday that I won’t wish you personally. Thank you for my present, it’s beautiful. I look at your photos all the time, and I also have a picture of you stuck on my wall next to my bed. I was wrong in doing the things that I did, and yes, I can say sorry, but at the end I’ve changed. I changed in a big way, I would like to be apart of your life, and it took prison to get me to realise that. In the end it’s been worth it because now I know who I am, I have dreams and goals in my life which I’ll achieve, you’ll see, I’ll make you proud to be my son and I’ll be proud to be your mother. I love you, keep strong and I’ll keep on writing to you, I hope you get this letter and be good for granny!
As julle hierdie brief klaar gelees het, gaan kyk gerus na hierdie video. Ons KAN NET nie opgee om aanhou te probeer opstaan nie! Hierdie persoon het geen arms of bene nie… maar hy het die “Never give up” motto!
26 thoughts on “For Zeethan, from Mommy (My storie 9)”	Lewer kommentaar
2009/02/20 om 1:33 NM	Sjoe. Ek’s hoendervleis. Dankie vir hierdie update, Zee.
2009/02/20 om 2:45 NM	Sjoe, ‘n ingrypende brief!
Ek wens haar alles van die beste toe.
2009/02/20 om 3:22 NM	S J O E . . . !
2009/02/20 om 4:44 NM	Dankie dat jy dit met ons gedeel het. My trane sit baie vlak. Nie net emosioneel oor die brief nie, maar veral oor die video. As die persoon dit kon regkry om elke keer op te staan, hoeveel te meer moet ons dit nie doen nadat ons geval het nie. Laat my besef dat ek moet vasbyt. Daar is ander mense met baie groter probleme as ek.
2009/02/20 om 9:59 NM	Zee, weet vandag een ding – die Here sal jou seën dat jy hom na sy ma toe gevat het. Jy het ‘n groot, groot, mooi hart. Die brief is hartroerend. Mag sy die krag hê om vas te byt en beter anderkant uit te kom.
2009/02/21 om 12:29 AM	Zee, dis n pragtige gebaar van jou om die brief te geplaas het. Sterkte word jou, oupa en klein Zee toe gebid. So ook bid ons vie kleinman se Pa en Ma. Ek het vandag die video in n e-mail gekry, ek het amper my oge uit gehuil en nou weer. A3 ek stem saam met jou, dit laat mens net besef dat ons “groot” probleme nie naby kan kom aan ander se probleme nie.
2009/02/21 om 10:02 AM	Zee, verskoon maar as ek hier spelfoute maak ek probeer so deur my trane tik… Mag God jou seen en jou arms hoog hou.. hoe bevoorreg is klein Zeethan om jou te he!
2009/02/21 om 6:19 NM	Hierdie brief van “C” is regtig hartseer en ek het gister al my trane daaroor afgevee!
Ek is bly en bevoorreg om jou as ‘n vriendin te mag hê! Ek sê weer van jou het ek al baie geleer! Die belangrikste hoe om sterk te staan en daar te wees vir jou geliefdes selfs in baie moeilike omstandighede!
Oor die video – daar is altyd mense wat dit slegter het, ons moet ons seëninge tel!!
2009/02/22 om 4:51 NM	Hierdie brief en video het my baie diep geroer Zee! “Daar is nog hoop.” Geloof, hoop en liefde… kom sterk deur in hierdie inskrywing! Baie dankie vir die deel hiervan!
2009/02/23 om 8:19 AM	(((((Zee))))) Dankie dat jy dit gedeel het.
2009/02/23 om 11:52 AM	Zee, ek moes eers opstaan en gaan huil in die badkamer. Dis ‘n hartverskeurende brief! Soos Wipneus sê: jy is ‘n besonderse mens en ek weet sommer klein Z sal net so ‘n besonderse mens wees.
2009/02/23 om 11:54 AM	Roerende brief!! Thanx dat jy dit met ons deel!!
2009/02/23 om 12:04 NM	Jy is waarlik een uit ‘n miljoen.
2009/02/24 om 8:35 AM	Ai man dis so jammer dat die kinders sulke foute maak en later sien dit was nie die moeite werd nie.
Jy is n wonderlike Ouma, ek glo maar ek sal dit ook doen wat jy gedoen het.
2009/02/24 om 10:17 AM	Zee, jy is die een wat als hierso aanmekaar hou. Kyk nou met die saamvat van Zeethan na sy ma toe. Ek is jammer om te se, maar al my empatie en simpatie en gevoel le by jou. Die brief is roerend, maar ek het `n neef wat een moerse skrywer is en x-tronkvoel en hy kan jou maklik na aan trane he en nie `n blou duit omgee of hy more weer lieg en bedrieg en steel nie. Sy moet haarself maar eers bewys. Papier is baie geduldig.
Ek was lanklaas hier. Zeethan word net mooier en mooier!
2009/02/24 om 5:44 NM	Dankie Gypsey girl.. ek dink ook hy is pragtig..
Jong, dieselfde gedagte het by my opgekom omdat ons al baie die mooi beloftes gehoor het. Dit is soos jy sê, net tyd sal wel leer of sy dit bedoel en of dit net op papier is.
2009/02/24 om 4:03 NM	Oh wow, dit klink defnitief of sy haar lewe wil omdraai, ek bid vir haar en jou seun dat hulle albei sterk sal wees wanneer hulle uit die tronk uit kom en nie sal terug draai op die pad waar hulle vandaan kom nie, Zeethan is ‘n wonderwerkie op sy eie en baie gelukkig om ‘n ouma soos jy te hê.
Hoe gan dit met jou seun, weeet jy al wanneer die 2kies uit kom? Shame jys sekker nogal nervous daarooor want die hartseer lê maar altyd agter in ‘n mens se gedagtes!!
Zee onthou dat ons hier is vir jou, good or bad, jy kan hier by ons vent 🙂
2009/02/24 om 5:50 NM	HappyBeans..
Iets weerhou my om oor seun te skryf.. dalk die teleurstelling, dalk die wete dat dit nie meer lank is voor hy uitkom nie. Dit gaan goed met hom, maar ek sal binnekort ietsie skryf oor hom. Dalk is dit omdat ek geestelik nie op ‘n lekker plek is op die oomblik nie en die duiwel lekker woerts warts speel met my! en my baie goed wysmaak wat ek weet nie waar is nie, maar ek belowe ek sal binnekort ietsie skryf!
En ja, as dit nie vir julle was waar ek kon vent nie, weet ek darem nie!
2009/02/24 om 5:47 NM	Ek het gewik en weeg of ek hierdie brief moes plaas of nie. Ek het tog gevoel ek moes. Ek het vir Zeethan gevat omdat my hart vir my gesê het ek moet, maar my verstand sê nog anders. Hoe kan ek dat sy hom nie sien nie maar wel my seun. Dit is net nie reg vir my nie. En as dit haar gaan help om die regte pad te stap, sal ek dit weer doen. Baie dankie weereens aan almal vir julle omgee!! Julle weet nie hoe dit my “uplift”nie!!
2009/02/24 om 9:41 NM	Zee, die vat na sy ma toe – die moet jy doen as jy kan. Ek dink dan sal Zeethan nooit dink sy`s iets wat weerhou is van hom en haar dalk op `n onnodige peddastal sit nie. Maar ja, sy sal moet uithaal en wys! Die briefie van haar is baie mooi geskryf en kan dalk iets vir julle krulkoppie beteken. Hou dit baie veilig vir hom vir eendag. Skryf egter jou eie briefie so reg uit jou hart en hou die ook sommer vir hom…ek dink hy moet altwee kante weet.
Ek het jou mail gekry – jy mag maar Vanaand en die ander poems gebruik.
Hoop jy kry sielerus en krag.
2009/02/24 om 10:18 NM	Gypsey Girl… baie dankie!
2009/02/25 om 1:41 NM	ek loves you en bid vir jul
2009/02/26 om 8:53 AM	Ek eggo die Vriending… jy is truly one-in-a-million!
( ( ( Zzz ) ) ) x
2009/03/09 om 2:35 NM	WOW, dit is nogal treffend, ek sluk sluk so aan die trane en die ou knop in my keel.
2009/03/22 om 9:18 NM	Zee,
Die tyd van wonderwerke is nooit verby nie.
Mag hierdie brief en “seuna” s’n ook, werklik beteken wat die woorde weergee.
Ek wil nou net ‘n opinie lug, ek het sopas al die stukkies onder Drugs/Dwelms gelees, en een ding wat vir my nogal uitgestaan het: dis dalk ‘n seën dat jou kind nié deur jou klag in die tronk geëindig het nie. Nou was dit uit en uit sy eie toedoen en kan hy nie dit voor jou deur lê as ‘n moontlike beskuldiging nie.
Die pad wat hierdie kinders julle as ouers laat stap het die afgelope 2 jaar veral, is wragtag nie ‘n “bed of roses” nie! Maar ek lees wel God se goue draad van genade deur dit alles.
“Tough Love” – mag dit vir julle al die vrugte afwerp, veral na al die “effort” wat julle ingesit het.
Mag Zeethan een bondel vreugde wees en bly.
2009/03/22 om 10:10 NM	Huisvrou… ek het presies aan dieselfde ding gedink, dat dit nie deur my toedoen is nie, maar deur hulle eie aksies. Dalk as dit deur my was, het sake bietjie anders verloop en soos jy sê, die verwyte sal tog op ‘n stadium kom, nou is ek dit darem gespaar.
Zeethan is een groot bondel vreugde vir ons!