Vat Vyf! Week 43 van 2018 – Die EFF smaak EFT by VBS | Watkykjy
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Vat Vyf! Week 43 van 2018 – Die EFF smaak EFT by VBS
In Wat is nuus? deur PK Malherbe October 26, 2018 Rek jou bek
1) Die ou spreekwoordjie lui mos mens moenie klippe gooi as jy in fokken glas mansions bly nie. En terwyl Juliaaaaas en sy trawante nog besig is om kwotasies van PG Glass te kry om al die skade van Floyd Shivambu se VBS-skandaal te probeer herstel, bliksem daar toe nog so paar glaspanele na benede hierdie week. Tshwane se Stadsbestuurder, Moektsi Mosola, word betrek by ‘n R12 biljoen korrupsieskandaal rondom ‘n tender wat toegeken is aan ‘n maatskappy met die naam Glad Africa Engineering. En die vure word lekker op sosiale media gestook deur die vise-president van die BLF, ene Zanele Lwana. Kyk, die EFF en die BLF is al geruime tydjie nie meer BFFs nie, maar dit reën tans houe neer op die rooi gevaar. Dis voete-vuisies-maak-in-sykouse lekker.
2) Maar wag! Daar’s meer. BREAKING NEWS. Een van Juliaaaaas se cousins, Matsobane Phaleng, het ook blykbaar voordeel getrek uit die hele VBS gedoente. En alhoewel Juliaaaas op record is dat enigiemand wat bewyse het van iemand binne die EFF wat betrokke is by die VBS skandaal, met hom moet kontak maak, het hy hierdie week aan hoernaliste gesê hy weet niks van sy cousin se doen en late nie en dat hy vir homself kan praat. The plot thickens soos melk wat suur word. Dis dieselfde Juliaaaaas wat hierdie week in Rwanda gereken het Afrika kort ‘n gesaghebbende liggaam wat korrupte Afrika-leiers sal straf. Fokkit. Lang ry, pappie.
3) Meanwhile in Amerika, is twee dogtertjies van 11 en 12, gearresteer na hulle uitgevang is waar hulle beplan het om jonger kinders in die badkamers in te wag, hulle met messe te vermoor, op te sny in blokkies en hul bloed te drink. Wat party kinders ook nie sal doen as hulle nie snoepiegeld kry nie!
4) Ook in Amerika… suspect pakkies met pypbomme en glasskerwe is onderskep deur mense met #uniforms en #gasmaskers voordat dit deur die bestemde ontvangers oopgemaak kon word. En aan wie is die pakkies gestuur? Oudpresident Barack Obama. Hillary Clinton. Voormalige adjunkpresident, Joe Biden. Akteur Robert DeNiro. Almal kritici van Donald Trump. Natuurlik beteken dit die poskantoor en koeriermaatskappye is besig om ‘n killing te maak (#slaanknieëmethandeensnorklag). En alhoewel daar ook genoeg kritici van Trump in Suid-Afrika ook is, is ons veilig want amper fokkol word hier betyds afgelewer, if at all.
5) In die Wes-Kaap waar bendes so gewild is soos ‘n Amor Vittone vertoning in ‘n ouetehuis, het Patricia de Lille haar eie bende gestig. Die burgemeester van Kaapstad het haar bedanking teruggetrek en onder die DA ingeklim oor hoe hulle haar behandel het. Dit is gevolg deur 5 lede van die DA wat vir haar drukkies gaan gee het voor hulle met knipmesse hul wysvingers gesny het en die bloed op mekaar se… o, wag… dit het blykbaar nie gebeur nie. Maar ja, De Lille het nou amptelik meer ondersteuners as die Tata Fan Club van Suid-Afrika
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PK MalherbeVat Vyf! Week 43 van 2018 – Die EFF smaak EFT by VBS 10.26.2018
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