Kuvukwe nezindaba ezimbi ngoLwesithathu lapho iMoody’s yehlise ukwethenjwa kwamabhange aphezulu aseNingizimu Afrika ezimakethe zemali. Kungenzeka ukuthi lokhu yikho okube nomthelela ekwehleni kwamandla erandi uma liqhathaniswa nezinye izimali emakethe. 1. Be energetic in inviting singles into the Church. To discover the way the individual parish can help singles, I interviewed Father Pat O'Neill, who has been active in campus ministry for years and who has written a book, The Single Adult (Paulist Press, 1980), offering insights and practical advice. According to Father O'Neill, the first step toward welcoming singles is to reach out to them personally. For example, 10 years ago three dying parishes in New York City launched a door-to-door campaign to invite local residents to join their parishes. They discovered that 80 percent of them were Catholic singles! These single adults now form thriving congregations in these three parishes. Another parish sponsors a priest to work as a "missionary" to a large singles apartment complex where he is resident chaplain. In another parish, a "hospitality committee" keeps abreast of newcomers to the parish neighborhood. Resident managers of several apartment complexes are regularly contacted for the names of new residents. A letter welcoming them to the neighborhood and inviting them to church is sent. Father O'Neill believes that parish priests should take the lead in inviting singles into the Church. "When was the last time your parish priest preached a sermon about the needs of singles? Perhaps Father could set aside Advent or Lent as a good time to preach about the importance of reaching out to single adults." 2. Watch your language. If we are to truly welcome single adults, we need to change the language we use to describe parish life. One midwestern parish has decided to weed out of its sermons, bulletins and announcements all language which excludes singles. "Young Couples Fellowship" has been renamed "Adult Fellowship." The church bulletin has been rewritten to say, "We welcome all individuals to our parish," instead of "We welcome all new families." Priests are making a point of including in their sermons examples drawn from the lives of the widowed, the divorced and separated and their children, and the never-married. 3. Put singles in leadership positions. One parish has decided to actively invite singles into parish leadership. The parish council and the advisory board of the parish Family Life Office both include a single parent and a single non-parent, as well as traditional family members. Singles also serve as lectors, Eucharistic ministers, CCD teachers and musicians. By placing singles in active, visible roles, this parish is making the statement, "Singles are a valued part of our parish family." 4. Provide opportunities for singles to "connect" with others in the church. The parish is a place where a wide variety of individuals can be "connected" to one another. A young single man has cultivated a "big brother" relationship with several young boys in his parishevery Saturday Joe and "his boys" head for the basketball court or the zoo. A single young woman has adopted an elderly widow as her "grandmother"the two exchange gifts on Mother's Day and often go to the movies or on shopping trips together. Several young men, both single and married, meet every Saturday morning for prayer and breakfast. One Ohio parish has created a network of 40 "circles of spiritual companionship." Each circle consists of six to eight adults. Some circles are made up entirely of single adults; others are a mixture of singles, marrieds and children. Each group meets together regularly for prayer, discussion, meals and fun activities like picnics, weekend campouts and Halloween parties. The parish priest and other church leaders can act as a clearinghouse to promote such nontraditional "family" relationships. One church even includes "personal ads" in its parish bulletin. A typical ad reads, "One 'adoptable' uncle seeks young family to share Advent and Christmas holidays." In all these creative ways, parishes across the country are redefining family life so that it includes single adults. 5. Make sure the real needs of singles are addressed. Once we discover and welcome the singles in our parish, we can help them deal with their real needs. Father O'Neill observes, "Singles aren't looking for programs or for answers. They want a place to dialogue and hash out the big issues in their lives. They are crying out for a spiritual life." Closely related to a hunger for spirituality is the necessity of coming to terms with needs for intimacy and for balanced sexuality. Says Father O'Neill, "Singles are asking, 'What does it mean to love? How can I love my own life? Where does my sexuality fit into the picture? How can I be fully masculine or feminine?' Sexuality is much broader than sex." Regarding this issue of sexuality, the National Office of Young Adult Ministry (part of the education department of the United States Catholic Conference) has developed "Guidelines for Workshops on Spirituality and Sexuality" that interested groups can adapt in planning workshops. (These "Guidelines" are published as an appendix to Joan Ohanneson's new book, And They Felt No Shame, which explores Christian sexuality, Winston Press, 1983.) There are existing models Taking steps like these can help all of us to value single adults. Perhaps we need to be reminded that such individuals are part of a long-standing tradition. Too often we forget that many of our canonized saints spent their lives not as vowed religious but as single people serving God in the world. St. Angela (founder of the Ursulines), Catherine McAuley (founder of the Sisters of Mercy) and St. Francis all spent a good part of their adult lives as singles. Their religious orders sprang up after them, growing organically out of their life's work. And there are many modern-day counterparts: Dorothy Day, Dag Hammarskjold, Jean Vanier and Flannery O'Connor are just a few. The model for all Christians is a single adult in Nazareth who lived his life outside the mainstream of both marriage and religious life. Single adults may have a special understanding of Jesus' life of solitary faithfulness. His life reminds us that we need our single Catholics in the Church every bit as much as they need us. Trudelle Thomas is a single adult active in the Catholic community of Cincinnati. She also teaches writing at the University of Cincinnati and is a free-lance author. Published with ecclesiastical approval. FRONT