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Gepubliseer deur Jan Venter op 9 Junie 2010 om 12:00
Is jy 'n Pa of Ma (ek skryf dit met hoofletters om 'n rede ...) wat jou verantwoordelikheid om geestelike leiding in die gesin te neem, ernstig opneem? Hier is 'n lekkerlees artikel van Justin Hyde, leraar van die "Christ Church" gemeente in Brenham, Chapel Hill in Texas (VSA)
Hyde comments on one of the most difficult aspects of church leaders’ jobs: ministering to their own families. Hyde
describes his own routine at home and hopes it will encourage and inspire
church leaders to develop their own ministry at home:
Routine. Hyde says he and his
wife have a “reasonably regular” weekly schedule, and family devotions fit
into the routine with dinner, bedtime rituals, etc.
Intentional evenings. “I get home between 5:30
and 5:45 PM,” remarks Hyde. “But I have to prepare myself before 5:30 PM
so that I can hit the ground running when I walk in the door.” He reminds
himself that what he does at home is the most important part of his
vocation, so he consciously prepares to offer energy, attention, and
dedicated focus to his wife and children when they greet him at the door.
“Don’t let your kids or wife hear your formulaic ‘I’m tired.’ Turn your
phone off…cancel your cable TV, repent of your addiction to new projects,
hobbies or distractions…” He also has advice for pastors’ wives: “Be
gracious, forgiving, and learn and grow with your husband. Make your home
inviting and pleasing, manage the stress level for yourself and your kids
before he arrives home.”
Time to Play. When Hyde arrives home,
he dedicates about a half-hour to his children. “Rarely do I take five
steps into the house before having a five-year-old around my left leg and
a three-year-old around my right leg—and now, often, a baby in my arms.”
He says kids are ready to see their dad, to punch him, kiss him, play with
him, build with him, and read with him. “My wife is likely more exhausted
than I am by 5:30 PM.” He suggests that now is a good time to teach the
kids how to set the table, pick up the living room, honor mom, serve a
younger sibling, etc…but mainly it’s a good time to play.
Mealtimes. Hyde’s family eats
dinners together around the table. They celebrate, laugh, joke, make silly
faces, eat great food, hold hands to pray, and take their time. “Our
children watch, learn and savor all of this.”
Clean-Up. Hyde’s children help
with the dishes and put things away. “The payoff to them is relaxation and
focus, and it’s often worth the price of clearing the table and loading
the dishwasher.” But, he says, he and his wife devote themselves to their
children from 5:30 PM to 7:30 PM, even if the clean-up must be delayed
until later. “After dinner, we play. We read. We build towers. We go on
adventures. We explore. We tickle.”
Bible Time. The family winds down in
the Hyde household at 7:15 PM, when he tells the kids it will soon be
devotional time. At 7:30 PM, they gather in the living room and the kids
pile on Dad’s lap. He advises, “It’s important for dads to call the family
together. Don’t force Mom to keep looking at her watch, to wait for you,
to nag you to get started…lead your family.”
Questions & Answers. Hyde reads a section of
Scripture and asks questions about the story, characters, doctrines,
themes and application to the life of a child. He also has them memorize
catechism, which he feels is vital.
Family Prayer. The family takes turns
offering prayer requests, then everyone prays. Sometimes he asks for the
older family members to pray for the younger ones, and sometimes he has
the children pray for something specific. Sometimes they say memorized
prayers, like the Lord’s prayer, but sometimes prayers are random. He
reminds parents to make the experience fun, graceful, loving, encouraging,
and sometimes silly—but always fruitful and honest, teaching your children
how to articulate their feelings.
Bedtime. Hyde then says, “At
bedtime, love on your kids. Hug and kiss and tickle and snuggle like crazy.”
Hyde distinguishes between these types of training and devotion as
follows: “Explicit elements of devotionals (reading together, praying together,
etc.) would only go so far (but not far enough) if not paired with the implicit
aspects of the daily spiritual development that are more subtle and mundane.
These are the constant opportunities you have to listen to your kids, talk to
them, tell them about Jesus, tell them something you read in Scripture or
something you’ve wondered about God…live a life of celebration and sacrifice.”
He says your family will only gain from your dedicated Bible Time as much as
your personal life represents it.
Kommentaar deur Wardi Smit op 10 Junie 2010 om 15:27
Baie goeie stukkie die.
Iemand het eenkeer vir my iets gese en dit het soveel vir my beteken. "Die duurste gesken wat jy vir iemand vandag kan gee is tyd" Tyd het niemand meer nie. Vra bietjie ander mense hoekom iets nie gedoen is nie of hoekom hulle nie by n plek kan wees nie. Amper reg deur die bank sal ons die antwoord kry "Daar is net nie genoeg tyd in die dag nie" "Ek het nie die tyd om dit of dat te doen nie"
Dit is seker hoekom ons nie meer sulke diep verhouding kweek nie. Ons maak nie tyd om by ons virende stil te staan en hulle hart te hoor nie. Ek dink nou die dag by die werk aan dieselfde ding. Iemand kom van voor af en groet my. In die verbyloop deel ons maar net "Hoe gaan dit" "Goed dankie en met jou" "Goed dankie". Nie een van ons het eers stil gaan staan en hoor hoe dit regtig gaan nie.
Ek het die volgende frase ook al n paar keer gehoor "Ons het nooit gedink die persoon sal so iets doen nie"
Menende iemand wat hulle eie lewe geneem het. Ek vra altyd en ek prat heel eerste met myself ook. Het ons genoeg gehoor by die persoon? Het hulle nie dalk vele kere om hulp geroep nie, maar ons is in die rot wedloop(rat race) van die lewe vas gevang.
Ek kom toe agter dit is wat met my stilte tyd ook gebeur. "Hoe gaan die Here" "Dankie vir alles" en AMEN.
Hoe lyk ons stilte tyd?
Is dit nie hoekom ons so baie aan stres ly nie?
Ons hoor nie meer God se stem nie so dit beinvloed die besluite wat ons maak. Ons sit in die woestyn. Die Here wil ons in die beloofde land he, maar ons geniet dit te veel om te sit en kla in die woestyn.
Prediker se dit mooi vir ons "Dit alles is n gejaag na wind"
Miskien moet ons bietjie meer hoor van TYD. Luister meer na mekaar en HOOR wat op die ander persoon se hart is. Konnekteer weer met die mense in jou lewe soos die stukkie se.
Kommentaar deur Adriaan van der Merwe op 9 Junie 2010 om 14:06
Kerels, Hier is nou een om langs die spieel te plak en gereeld te lees! Voorwaar 'n praktiese uitdaging vir elke Pa en 'n belegging wat ewigheids waarde het.