Michael Swaim
Michael Swaim (born June 7, 1985) is an American filmmaker, writer, actor, comedian, and podcaster. While attending the University of California, San Diego, he became a columnist for the humor website Cracked.com, and after graduating from college in 2007, he joined with Abe Epperson to co-found the internet sketch comedy troupe Those Aren't Muskets. Along with Epperson and another frequent collaborator, Daniel O'Brien, he spent the late 2000s establishing a video department for Cracked. His subsequent tenure as Head of Video for the website produced several viral web series that he and O'Brien often starred in ; these include the Webby Award-winning "After Hours" and the Streamy Award-winning "Agents of Cracked". The 2010 independent horror-comedy film "Kill Me Now" was co-written by Swaim and features him in a starring role. Swaim is currently seeking funding through Patreon for an in-development short film. Through his affiliation with Cracked, Swaim contributed to the 2010 "New York Times" Best Seller "You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News". He then served as a Senior Editor on a 2013 followup, "The De-textbook". Until his departure from Cracked in October 2017, Swaim was a regular  feature on podcasts produced by the website. At that time, he co-hosted the series "Kurt Vonneguys" with Alex Schmidt. Currently, Swaim runs Small Beans, an online comedy network funded through Patreon. Small Beans was founded by Swaim and Epperson together in December 2017; the two were joined from the outset by a co-worker they had befriended at Cracked, Adam Ganser, and Small Beans has since grown to include more Cracked alumni as both members and collaborators. In October 2019, Swaim began producing video content for IGN while continuing to operate Small Beans. That same year, Small Beans was  named by "The A.V. Club" as one of 2019's best podcasting networks. Early life. Michael Swaim was born on June 7, 1985 and grew up in San Diego County, California. His parents divorced when he was seven. Swaim's uncle is folk singer and Waterbug Records founder Andrew Calhoun. At age nine, Swaim and his younger brother, David, survived a car accident that occurred on Thanksgiving Day. Swaim sustained a brain injury from the crash and subsequently suffered from panic attacks as a child. Soon after the crash, he developed depression, which has reoccurred throughout his life. Swaim attended  a Montessori school for sixth grade and Standley Middle School for seventh grade. His family then moved to Ramona, California, where he finished his schooling. In a 2011 interview with "The Huffington Post", Swaim explained his artistic influences saying, "I'm sure "The Simpsons" is a big part of it, and I'd like to think there's some Vonnegut and even a little Shakespeare in there. Shakespeare for his appreciation of a good pun and his cavalier abuse of the language he so clearly loved, Vonnegut for his eye for truth and his brevity. I doubt anyone will see  any of that in my writing, but I try, dammit." Career. Those Aren't Muskets and early writings. Swaim attended the University of California, San Diego, where he majored in theatre with a minor in creative writing. Before embarking on his comedy career, he contributed short stories to science fiction magazines. He also aspired to become a playwright. While attending UCSD, he served as an editor of the university's satirical publication, the "Muir Quarterly," commonly known as "the MQ". In 2006, he began writing comedy articles on a freelance basis for Cracked.com. The website gave him a blog, called  The Specious, and during Swaim's senior year of college, he became a columnist for Cracked. Fellow MQ editor Abe Epperson befriended Swaim when they were both UCSD sophomores, and the two have remained frequent collaborators throughout their careers. Together, shortly after graduating in 2007, they founded the internet sketch comedy troupe Those Aren't Muskets. Swaim continued during this time to be involved with UCSD's theatre program, producing his own original comedy play, Olympus Inc, from which cast members occasionally crossed over into Those Aren't Muskets videos. Within months, the troupe's content had attained over 100,000  views. Videos produced by the troupe were posted to websites like YouTube, Revver, Cracked, CollegeHumor, and Funny or Die, in addition to the now-defunct thosearentmuskets.com. Towards the end of 2007, Those Aren't Muskets began a partnership with Cracked. The first video produced through this collaboration, "Internet Party", found success on Digg and was featured on YouTube's homepage. The video quickly surpassed two million views. Gaining media attention, it was identified by "The San Diego Union-Tribune" as Swaim and Epperson's "first bona fide hit". Years later, Cracked video producer Breandan Carter identified "Internet Party" as the  breakthrough video that "put [Cracked.com] on the map as observational humorists." According to Swaim, a "symbiosis" quickly developed between Those Aren't Muskets and Cracked, and from this came the web series "Cracked TV" - initially announced under the title "S.W.A.I.M." and later rebranded as "Does Not Compute". By 2008, Those Aren't Muskets had grown to an official membership of six. Non-members were often cast in the troupe's videos as well, and among them was Katie Willert, a then-UCSD student, who, later in her career, would co-star alongside Swaim in numerous Cracked video productions. In 2008 , Swaim's brother, David, guest-starred in "Chops", a Those Aren't Muskets video which placed fourth - over hundreds of submissions - in YouTube's Sketchies II competition. That same year, Those Aren't Muskets was featured during the "Kings of Dot Comedy" segment on G4's series "Attack of the Show." Over the summer of 2008, Swaim and Epperson moved to Los Angeles together. Cracked tenure and "Kill Me Now". When Cracked decided to start producing its own video content, Swaim was enlisted to lead the effort. He and Epperson teamed up with Daniel O'Brien to create the first official  Cracked web series, "Agents of Cracked". The series began airing in November 2009 and ran for three seasons. Its first season won the "Audience choice award for best web series" at the Second Annual Streamy Awards. By 2011, the series had been viewed online over seven million times. Those Aren't Muskets remained active for a few more years, producing the web series "8-Bits" for Cracked, and in 2009, joining with several other internet sketch troupes for a two-week collaboration known as Genius Camp. One of the sketches resulting from this collaboration was featured on Comedy Central's  series "Tosh.0". Swaim also had a cameo role in a BriTANicK video that year. By 2010, Swaim had become Head of Video at Cracked. He continued starring in original video series produced by the website, among them "After Hours", which won Best Writing at the 18th Annual Webby Awards. According to "The Huffington Post," Swaim and his frequent co-star, O'Brien, came to be known as the collective "face of Cracked". As Swaim became more involved with video production for Cracked, he wrote fewer columns for the website but took on supplementary work as a blogger for guyspeak.com. Swaim's  work for GuySpeak was occasionally featured in "Glamour". Offering humor-based relationship advice, Swaim contributed to GuySpeak for about a year, starting in late 2009. In 2010, Swaim told "The Huffington Post" that he hoped his tenure at Cracked would be a step towards eventually making feature films. Later that year, Swaim and Epperson were contacted by filmmaker Travis Long, who expressed interest in working with the duo on a feature. Swaim and Epperson had already developed a story idea together, and with Long's help, this idea was turned into the horror-comedy film "Kill Me Now". Swaim, who  had a starring role in the film, wrote the screenplay and received a producer credit, while Long directed, and Epperson performed the cinematography. "Kill Me Now" was produced through Ketchup Media. It was shot in Effingham, Illinois. Filming occurred in October 2010 and lasted for twenty-one days. Although Swaim was initially unsure about acting in "Kill Me Now", he took a starring role due to the film's short production schedule. The film's cast and crew included several internet sketch comedians, among them, Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney, who would both go on to join "Saturday Night Live  shortly after appearing in the film. Kill Me Now" premiered in Los Angeles on December 5, 2012. It then had a limited theatrical release through Tugg, a service that allows people to bring screenings of films to their local city when enough tickets are pre-ordered. Swaim contributed to Cracked's 2010 "New York Times" Best Seller, "You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News", and served as a Senior Editor on Cracked's 2013 release, "The De-textbook". Throughout his tenure at Cracked, he often appeared on - and occasionally co-hosted - the Cracked podcast. He also co-hosted  the Cracked-produced podcast "Kurt Vonneguys" with Alex Schmidt. "Kurt Vonneguys" was hailed by "The A.V. Club" as "a must, both for those deeply familiar with Vonnegut’s work and those seeking an entry point." After the release of "Kill Me Now", Swaim hoped to quickly continue on to more feature films and grew dissatisfied with his position at Cracked, once it became apparent to him that the company's corporate owners were unwilling to fund any large-scale projects. A lack of creative fulfillment eventually prompted Swaim to relinquish his role as the head of Cracked's video department . Swaim later recounted that his depression, which he had suffered from since childhood, gradually worsened during this stage of his life, and over time, he continued to reduce his role at Cracked. He resigned from the company in October 2017. A few weeks later, Cracked laid off much of its remaining staff. Speaking to the company's struggles, Swaim expressed his view that Cracked had squandered its "potential to become an "SNL" or a "National Lampoon"-type brand with feature films and so forth." Nonetheless, Swaim has spoken highly of the work that has been continued on by Cracked's current  employees. Small Beans and IGN. After Swaim's departure from Cracked, he and Epperson founded a new venture together, called Small Beans. Funded through Patreon, Small Beans is a podcasting network that also produces occasional sketch comedy videos. Swaim and Epperson were joined in the founding of Small Beans by Adam Ganser, who like Epperson, was a prolific director of videos at Cracked. Several other former members of Cracked have since come to join Small Beans or have contributed to Small Beans content. Small Beans was first announced by Swaim on December 4, 2017. The following day, Swaim posted a  video online, explaining his decision to resign from Cracked and offering further details about Small Beans. The formal launch date for Small Beans was on December 11, although the first Small Beans content debuted a week in advance. Small Beans launched with four podcasts: "Frame Rate", a movie review podcast hosted by Swaim and Epperson; "1Upsmanship", a video game review podcast hosted by Swaim and Ganser; "Extree! Extree!", a news-themed podcast that provides both Small Beans-related updates and comedic takes on current events; and "Tales from the Pit", in which Swaim is joined by a guest each episode  to discuss experiences with depression and similar issues. As Small Beans has grown, more podcasts have been added. Small Beans also collaborates with Showing Up for Racial Justice on the podcast "Bold" (sometimes referred to as "Bold: Conversations About Race"), which focuses on racial justice issues and is produced by White People 4 Black Lives. Additional content released through Small Beans includes Q&A podcast episodes, original rap songs written and performed by Swaim, access to various writings by Swaim (including screenplays and pitches for cancelled projects), behind-the-scenes livestreams, and Twitch streams. Small Beans has a long-term goal  of producing a short film. A few months after launching Small Beans, Swaim began a relationship with BunnyEars.com, a humor website founded by Macaulay Culkin. Swaim has appeared on the Bunny Ears podcast and occasionally writes articles for the website. Culkin has been featured as a guest on "Frame Rate". In February 2018, Small Beans premiered its first video series, "LifeHax"; each episode is a zero-budget improvised spoof of do-it-yourself YouTube tutorials. "LifeHax" was followed in April of that year by the more expensive and high-concept series "Disney Owns You", a sketch comedy series about corporate  takeovers conducted by the Walt Disney Company. Another low-budget series, "Family Meeting", followed in August; it stars former-Cracked members Cody Johnston and Katy Stoll, alongside Swaim, as siblings who reconnect over webcam. Stand-alone videos have been produced by Small Beans as well. In April 2019, Small Beans announced the web series, "Off Hours", a spiritual successor to "After Hours". To write "Off Hours", Swaim, Epperson, and Ganser were joined by David Christopher Bell and Tom Reimann; the group of five had all been writers on "After Hours". Swaim edited and Epperson directed each episode of "Off Hours , reoccupying roles that they had respectively filled on After Hours". Veteran "After Hours" artists Anthony Clark and Starline Hodge were hired to contribute illustrations for "Off Hours", as were Michael Vincent Bramley and Ben Shannon. Swaim is the only "After Hours" star to return as a main cast member in "Off Hours". He is joined in each episode of "Off Hours" by a rotating series of guest stars. Cast members announced for "Off Hours" were Johnston, Stoll, Greg Burke, Maggie Mae Fish, Daniel Vincent Gordh, Teresa Lee, and Damian Washington. "Off Hours" premiered on June 3, 2019. As side-work  while operating Small Beans, Swaim wrote for a 2019 installment of "The Game Theorists". That same year, Small Beans attracted positive attention from "The A.V. Club", which wrote that "1Upsmanship" features "undeniable chemistry" between Swaim, Ganser, and their guests. "The A.V. Club" later named Small Beans one of the best podcasting networks of 2019, singling out Small Beans for having "the most variety on a single feed" and writing, "What’s as impressive as the amount of podcasts Small Beans pumps out is the quality it maintains: each is insightful, fun, hilarious, and a breeze to listen to." In October  2019, Swaim joined IGN's video department. Although the job required moving to San Francisco and placing "Off Hours" on an indefinite hiatus, Swaim has continued to operate the Small Beans network. In January 2020, Small Beans premiered a video essay series on film criticism by Epperson called "Small Beautiful Things". In March of that year, Small Beans premiered a sketch comedy radio play series called "Bean Town", written by Swaim, Epperson, and Burke. The series features voice acting by Swaim, Epperson, Burke, Fish, Johnston, Tyler Brown, Noah Byrne, Kelsey Hudgins, and Katie Willert. Personal life. Swaim came out as  queer in 2021, saying, "I'm in a monogamous relationship with a partner the world sees as female, but am sexually attracted to all sorts of folks. I never faced any special challenges as a result, which is why I've never felt 'Queer enough' to consider myself part of what I consider a special community. But after talking with friends, I've learned that 'not feeling Queer enough' and being afraid of appropriating that identity is common among Queer people, and not a reason to hide behind the myth of straightness."