Ietsie vir die lagspiere!! - Page 58 - Stormfront
09-18-2010, 07:05 AM #571
Iemand klop en Frederick maak die deur oop. Voor hom staan 'n verkoopsman :
"Meneer, gun my 'n oomblik om die nuwe rewolusionere stofsuier, die HUNGRY-VAC, aan u te demonstreer."
Frederick : " Jammer, ek kan ongelukkig niks koop nie - ek is in my mo3r in platsak"
Verkoopsman : " Meneer die HUNGRY-VAC is ongelooflik. Ek kan nie hier weggaan sonder om dit ten minste aan u te demonstreer nie!"
Met dié gooi die verkoopsman ook sommer dadelik n sak nat hondek#k op Frederick se sitkamermat.
"Meneer, as die HUNGRY-VAC nie die mat skoonmaak nie sal ek persoonlik die stront van die mat af opeet"
Frederick: " Ek hoop jy het n MO3RSE eetlus want my elektrisiteit is al verlede week afgesny! . Watter gedeelte van plat-f*kken-sak verstaan jy nie!"
10-19-2010, 04:13 AM #572
'n Arabier kom by 'n Joodse lingerie winkel aan en vra om swart bostukke te koop...
Die jood is 'n gesoute ou skelm en vertel die Arabier dat daar 'n tekort is aan die tipe bra so hy sal hom $50 per bra moet vra... Die Arabier vat 50...
Twee dae later is die Arabier terug... die keer soek hy 100... die skelm Jood (is daar 'n ander tipe) vertel die keer dat die tekort groter is so $75 per bra... die Arabier vat dit
'n Week later is die Arabier terug... nou raak die Jood agterdogtig aangesien Arabiere gewoonlik baklei oor pryse...
Hy vra die Arabier waarvoor hy die bra's gebruik, en die vertel hom hy sal hom maar die waarheid gee aangesien hy 'n goedkoper Sjinese verskaffer gekry het...
"Ek sny hulle cups af en verkoop dit aan Jode as Yarmulkas..... vir $200 elk"
12-10-2010, 12:42 PM #573
Barack Obama was sitting in his office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang
"Howzit, Barack!" a voice in broken English said. "This is Koos Vannermerwe here from the Doringboom Bar in Welkom , South Africa. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you, boet!"
"Right now," said Koos, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Jan, my next-door neighbor Lang Hannes, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight of us!"
"Sjoe!" said Koos. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day, Koos called again. "Barack, my China, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"Liewe erdvark!" said Koos. "I'll have to get back to you..." Sure enough,
Koos rang again the next day. "Barack, ou swaer, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Doepie's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four okes from the Virginia Hengelklub have joined us as well!"
"Slaat my dood!", said Koos, "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, Koos called again the next day. "Ja, ja, Barack! I am sorry to tell you that we've had to call off the war."
06-09-2011, 03:39 PM #574
Hierdie mop word al jare vertel in Nederland, miskien ken jy 'm al ...
Waarom wil die Hoetoe's geen moblie selfoon?
Daar sit almal Toetsies op.
Nou sit ek net te kyk, in Nederland is 'n knoppie 'n "toets".
Dan is die mop in die Afrikaans nie hiervan ....
06-10-2011, 10:37 AM #575
I understand Dutch a bit
11-06-2011, 03:51 PM #576
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!
One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Africans is not the correct answer either.
11-23-2011, 04:39 AM #577
A lady died this past January, and ABSA bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been R0.00, is now R60.00. A family member placed a call to the ABSA Bank call centre :
Family Member : "I am calling to tell you that she died in January"
ABSA : "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply"
Family Member : "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections"
ABSA : "Since it is two months past due, it already has been"
Family Member :"So, what will they do when they find out she is dead ?"
ABSA : "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to The credit bureau, maybe both !"
Family Member : "Do you think God will be mad at her ?"
ABSA : "Excuse me ?"
Family Member : "Did you just get what I was telling you ... the part about her being dead ?"
ABSA : "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor"
Family Member : "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January"
ABSA : "'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply"
Family Member : "You mean you want to collect from her estate ?"
ABSA (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer ?"
Family Member : "No, I'm her great nephew" (Lawyer info given)
ABSA : "Could you fax us a certificate of death ?"
Family Member : "Sure" (fax number is given)
ABSA : "Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help"
Family Member : "Well, if you figure it out, great ! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care"
ABSA : "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply"
Family Member : "Would you like her new billing address ?"
ABSA : "That might help"
Family Member : "West Park Cemetry, 12 West Park Road, Johannesburg, Plot Number 1049"
ABSA : "Sir, that's a cemetery !"
Family Member : "Well, what the &@** do you do with dead people on your planet ?"
11-25-2011, 11:18 AM #578
Nogal heel snaaks.
11-30-2011, 04:16 AM #579
Wanneer ek eendag doodgaan wil ek stil en in my slaap gaan soos my Oupa die plaasboer... nie al skreeuend en vreesbevange soos die kaffers agter op sy bakkie nie!
12-02-2011, 04:07 AM #580
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