How do I know I am being abused?
If someone is saying things to you that you feel is offensive to you and your integrity and are hurting your feelings. The abuser may also ridicule or namecall, intimidates, harass, or stalk you. That is VERBAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL and EMOTIONAL abuse.
If someone is touching you in a way that is undignified, harmful - e.g. hitting, forcing you to have sex, pulling hair, grabbing or smacking you. The abuser may also damage your property or enter your residence without your permission. That is all PHYSICAL abuse.
Nobody has the right to hit, push, shove, shake, kick, slap or punch you.
If they love you, they would not harm you. If they respect you, they will not treat you with indignity and disrespect.
What do I do if I am being abused?
Don't suffer in silence: If you are being physically, psychologically (mentally), emotionally or sexually abused in a relationship, it is important that you seek help. You do not have to continue to suffer in silence.
Talk to someone you can trust: confide in a friend, a neighbour, a relative, a spiritual leader or elder, a doctor, or a counselor.
It is not your fault: There is no excuse for any form of abuse and you do not have to put up with it. Both physical and emotional abuse is against the law and help is available through the legal system.
You can get help: You can use the legal system to help you.
Go to the Domestic Violence Court closest to you and apply for a Protection Order.
What are the signs that my friend is being abused?
How do I help an abused friend?
Listen: A person who is being abused needs someone to hear and believe him or her.
It is not his/her fault: Help your friend understand that it is not his or her fault. Your friend is not the bad person. The person who is being abusive has a problem and needs help.
Encourage him/her to seek help: Your friend also needs your encouragement to get help immediately from an adult, such as a parent, family member, or guidance counselor.
If a friend has been raped: Encourage the friend who has been raped to go to a hospital within 72 hours to test for HIV.
How do I help an abused child?
Don't interrogate. Let the child explain to you in his or her own words what happened, but don't interrogate the child.
Assure them they are not in trouble and that you will keep them safe.
Who do I call if someone I know is being abused?
How can I stop abusing my partner/child?
Acknowledge that what you are doing is wrong (no matter what the degree).
Stop rationalizing that abusive treatment of other people as acceptable. Abuse is NEVER healthy or acceptable regardless of the messages you may have been taught or witnessed in the past.
If alcohol makes you more likely to commit violence, stop or reduce.
Avoid alcohol and drugs to deal with your problems.
Exercise and listen to soothing music to deal with stress.
Go to the family elders, trusted friend, neighbour, church elders and community leaders for mediation of disputes.
Seek out the professional assistance of a psychologist or other professionals.
Who can I call to help me stop my abusive behaviour?
Gender Based Violence helpline: 0800 150 150.
Violence against women and children is never acceptable, never excusable, and never tolerable.