Die Rustelose Siel. The Restless Soul.: October 2008
Ek sit alleen bo op my Ratel. Ek is alleen vandag, my mede soldate is almal weg vir n dag se rus en om te ontvlug van die konstante opleiding. Ek was nie lus om saam te gaan nie, ek wou net alleen wees. Net een dag van rus en vrede saam met myself. Ek vat n diep teug van my siggaret en knyp die kooltjie dood en sit die stompie in my sak ,en tuur oor die stil winterveld uit. N ligte bries waai en die gras ritsel saam. Alles in die Gods verlate plek is grys en dood. Winter hier is nie speletjies nie, dink ek. Maar vandag is perfek, dis koud maar nie vriesend nie. My aapjas hou my lekker warm.“Chappie!” ruk n stem my tot realiteit. Dit was Majoor Brand, of Majoor Chappies soos ons hom noem. “Klim af en kom hier se hy in n diep stem!” Terwyl ek afklim tref dit my, geen soldaat mag bo op n Ratel sit of staan nie, great ek gaan n opvok kry op my dag af.Ek draf na die Majoor toe en halt voor hom en salueer. “More Majoor !” se ek en wag vir die donderstorm om los te bars. “Wat rook jy Chappie ?” “Menthol Majoor, craven a menthols,” antwoord ek.” Nou laat ons rook se die spook,” se die Majoor en hy glimlag vir my. My hand bewe toe ek die siggaret en aansteker na hom uithou. Majoor Chappies is nie iemand met wie jy speel nie, hy is al diep in die veertigs met diep donker bruin oe wat al te veel van die lewe gesien het. Die rede hoekom ons hom Majoor Chappies noem is omdat hy altyd na die troepe en range laer as syne verwys as Chappie, ek het hom nog nooit hoor verwys na n troep as n roof of rower of slangkak of enige van die kleurvolle name wat die korporale mee kon opkom nie. Ons was net Chappie of Chaps en dit was dit. “Majoor ek, ek… is jammer ek het bo die ratel gesit… ek het…” “Relax Chappie ek kon sien jy was ver weg en elk geval ons is ver weg van vyandelike gebied, it stays between us.” Se hy en knipoog vir my. Ek staan egter agterdogtig nog op aandag en weet nie wat om te se nie. Die man was tog op n stadium n bevelvoerder in Angola, hy was in die hitte van Ops Protea en ander operasies waarvan n nat agter die ore Ratel drywer net kan droom. “Kom Chappie stap saam my.” Met dit draai hy om en begin stadig na my Ratel toe stap. “Ek het jou al dop gehou Chappie, Beukes is mos jou van, is ek reg?” Vir n oomblik is ek sprakeloos, ek is een van agthonderd Ratel drywers in die eenheid en hy ken wragtig my van, “ja Majoor” se ek. “Ek ken al jul name my Chappie,” en hy gee weer n glimlag. “Ek is mos verantwoordelik vir julle opleiding ek is mos die baas van die plaas as dit kom by die, en hy klap sy hand teen my Ratel se wand, moordmasjiene!”“Moenie so verbaas wees nie Chappie, dis presies wat die Ratels is, ja julle jong laaities sien die goed as cool en awesome, maar as jy dit kon sien soos ek dit al gesien het sal jy anders voel.” Ek skuifel ongemaklik rond en steek toe maar nog n siggaret aan. “Ek het jou al dop gehou Beukes jy is altyd eenkant meng nie somer met die ander nie, jou Ratel is altyd skoon en met staalperades is jy en jou Chappies altyd die enigste wat nie n opvok kry nie, glo my ek het al gesoek vir foute met inspeksies maar ek kan sien jy kyk na jou Ratel. En dis wat die ander nie besef nie, dis daai dissepline wat lewens red.” Weet jy wat ons Ratels in Angola genoem het?” “Nee Majoor.”se ek nou meer op my gemak.“Bliksnyers Chappie, bliksnyers…” “Hoekom Majoor?” Die Majoor neem n diep sug en gaan sit stadig met sy rug teen die Ratel se agterwiel, “gee my nog n smoke dan vertel ek jou kom, kom sit hier langs my.” Ek gaan sit langs die Majoor en gee hom my pakkie en aansteker nadat hy n siggaret aan gesteek het sit hy die pakkie tussen ons op die grond neer maar hy speel stadig met my aansteker en tuur voor hom uit, ek kan sien die man se gedagtes begin ver terug gaan in tyd.“Ons was in n geveg betrokke met n groep terroriste hulle het van ons manne vas geskiet met russiese tenks, toe roep ons die Ratels in, hulle was die naaste aan die konflik, ek het daai dag gesien hoe jong seuns soos jy n russiese panser tenk uitskiet met net n 20mm kanon en n brownie in die toring.” “ Dit was asof die duiwel himself in ons troepe was daai dag, hulle het een van ons Ratels uit gehaal met n 90mm kanon op een van hul T56 tenks.” “ Die troepe was swaar gewond en verbrand, vier was dood, die rondte het die voertuig in die middel getref, toe die drywer sien almal is uit insluitend die dooies het hy eenvoudig sy voet neer gesien en teen topspoed op daai russiese tenk af gejaag.” “Nou die skerp punt neus van die Ratel het daai tenk teen seker maklik 70km/ph getref en het daai tenk soos n blik sardines oop geruk van voor tot reg in die middel, daar was een moerse ontploffing en die Ratel en die tenk was in vlamme gehul.” “ Wat daai klomp terroriste gedink het weet ek nie maar hulle het net daar stert tussen die bene gevlug, vandaar die naam bliksnyer, my Chappie.” “Bliksem Majoor!” is al wat ek kon se. “Ja Chappie as jy enige tenk reg tref met n Ratel se neus sny jy hom oop soos n blik sardines, weet jy hoekom noem ek julle manne Chappies?” vra hy onverwags.“Nee Majoor, ek weet nie.” “Hmmm nou kom ek vertel jou, dit was op daai selfde dag na die konflik, ons was op pad terug na die basis in konfooi, ek was saam met n drywer skutter Chapman heel agter in die konfooi, my Ratel was ook buite aksie, ons het in n ou Bedford met voorraad in gery toe begin die trok te ruk en pluk en proes en gaan staan net daar met ons langs die pad.” “Die konfooi wag nie vir n man nie so toe spring ons uit en ek en Chappies dit was Chapman se bynaam begin toe soek na die fout. Maar die heel donerse tyd is die troepie in my pad as ek oor die enjin leun dan le die seun omtrent bo op my as ek onder die trok is dan is hy weer daar omtrent bo op my.” “Ek het my later so vervies dat ek los gebars het op die mannetjie, vokkof onder my voete uit troep het ek gegil hoe de donner moet ek die trok reg maak met jou die heel tyd in my pad. En daar slat daai man my asem weg, en hoe ek na julle manne kyk vir die res van my lewe.” “Luitenat , dit was my rang toe, het hy kalm gese, ek het gehoor hoe praat die manne vandag van jou, ek het gehoor hoe jy hulle gelei het in die geveg. Ek het gehoor hoe se hulle as dit nie vir jou was nie sou hulle al ons manne uit gewis het, ek het gehoor hoe jy openlik voor die ander begin huil het oor Anderson wat sy lewe op gegee het en in daai russe se tenk vas gejaag het. Jy gee om vir jou manne luitenant, die weermag het mense soos jy nodig. Ek Luitenant is net n drywer ek het in n weeshuis groot geword, ek het niemand in my lewe nie, en ek was nie in die pad nie Luitenant, ek wou jou maar net beskerm. Ek het gedink as die vyand skielik hier aankom dan kan hulle my eerste raak skiet, en dit kan Luitenat n kans gee om weg te kom.” Ek was sprakeloos en kon aan niks dink om te se vir Majoor Brand nie. Hy het stadig op gestaan en af gekyk na my,” dit is hoekom ek julle Chappies noem, julle is die wiel wat die oorlogs masjien laat draai ons range is net n bietjie olie om dinge glad te hou, maar ek het na daai dag nooit weer sleg van of met n troep gepraat nie julle boys is my Chappies.”Ek het op gestaan en my hand na die Majoor uit gehou hy het my n ferm handskud gegee.” Vandag bly tussen my en jou Beukes?” “Dis reg so Majoor,” en ek het op aandag gekom en hom met trots gesalueer. Hy het my terug gesalueer om gedraai en stadig weg gestap. Ek was alleen tussen al die Ratels en moordmasjiene. In die stilte het ek die gekraak en steun van die metal gehoor. En skielik het ek gewens ek was eerder saam my ander Chappies op dorps pas. Posted by
TEARJERKER. FOR THE DESERT ROSE.
Well I wish there was someoneWell I wish there was someoneTo love meWhen I used to be someoneAnd I knew there was someoneThat loved meAs I sit here frozen aloneEven ghosts get tired and go homeAs they crawl back under the stonesAnd I wish there was somethingPlease tell me there's something betterAnd I wish there was something more than thisSaturated lonelinessAnd I wish I could feel itAnd I wish I could steal itAbduct it, corrupt it, but I never canit's just saturated lonelinessDoes the silence get lonely?Does the silence get lonely?Who knows?I've been hearing it tell meI've been hearing it tell meGo homeCause the freaks are playing tonightThey packed up and turned out the lightsAnd I wish there was somethingPlease tell me there's something betterAnd I wish there was something more than thisSaturated lonelinessAnd I wish I could feel itAnd I wish I could steal itAbduct it, corrupt it, but I never canIt's just saturated lonelinessAnd the bath waters coldAnd this life's getting oldAnd I wish I could feel itAnd I wish I could feel itAnd I wish I could steal itAbduct it, corrupt itAnd I wish I could feel itAnd I wish I could steal itAnd I wish I could feel itAbduct it, corrupt itBut I never canI never canNever CanNever CanNever CanARTIST: KORN.SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE.
it's colder than beforethe seasons took all they had come fornow winter dances hereit seems so fitting don't you think?to dress the ground in whiteand greyit's so quiet I can hearmy thoughts touching every secondthat I spent waiting for youcircumstances afford meno second chance to tell youhow much I've missed youmy beloved do you knowwhen the warm wind comes againanother year will start to passand please don't ask me why I'm heresomething deeper brought methan a need to rememberwe were once young and blessed with wingsno heights could keeps us from their reachno sacred place we did not soarstill greater things burned within usI don't regret the choices that I've madeI know you feel the samemy beloved do you knowhow many times I stared at cloudsthinking that I saw you therethese are feelings that do not pass so easilyI can't forget what we claimed was oursmoments lost though time remainsI am so proud of what we wereno pain remains, no feelingeternity awaitsgrant me wings that I might flymy restless soul is longingno pain remains, no feelingeternity awaitsArtist: VNV Nation.
At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various brewing organizations retire to the bar at the end of the day.Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouts to the barman: 'In Australia, we make the best bloody beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters, mate.'Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: 'In the States, we brew the king of them all - gimme a Bud.'Hans steps up next: 'In Germany ve invented beer. Give me un Helles, ze REAL King of beers.'Jan, chief executive of Grolsch, follows by stating that Grolsch is the ultimate beer and asks for one with two fingers of foam on top.Norman, chairman of SAB, is next: 'Barman, give me a diet Coke with ice and lemon please.'The other four stare at him in stunned silence, then Bruce asks: 'Aren't you going to have a Castle, Norm?'Norman replies 'Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, then neither am I.' Posted by
THE PEOPLE I MISS MOST TODAY
DAD: 27/01/1931-21/08/2006MOM: 15/10/1935-22/02/2007All that we needed, was rightThe threshold is breaking, tonightOpen to everything happy and sadSeeing the good when it's all going badSeeing the sun when I can't really seeHoping the sun will at least look at meFocus on everything better todayAll that I needed I never could sayHold on to people they're slipping awayHold on to this while it's slipping awayAll that we needed, tonightAre people who love us, and lifeI know how it feels to needOh when we leave here, you'll seeOpen to everything happy and sadSeeing the good when it's all going badSeeing the sun when I can't really seeHoping the sun will at least look at meFocus on everything better todayAll that I needed I never could sayHold on to people they're slipping awayHold on to this while it's slipping awaySo longSo longOpen to everything happy and sadSeeing the good when it's all going badSeeing the sun when I can't really seeHoping the sun will at least look at meFocus on everything better todayAll that I needed I never could sayHold on to people they're slipping awayARTIST: MOBY - HOTEL-SLIPPING AWAYI WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU, LOVE YOUR SON.
WALKING AWAY FROM ALL THIS PAIN I FEEL, THE CONSTANT AWARENESS THAT DRIVES ME MADWALKING AWAY FROM THIS HATE FILLED WORLD, THE AWARENESS THAT DRIVES ME INSANEWALKING AWAY FROM THE PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD, THEY BREAK MY HEART EVERY DAYWALKING AWAY FROM THE LUST AND GREED, A DISEASE THAT IS SPAWNED BY USWALKING AWAY FROM THE VIOLENCE AND ANGER OF THIS GENERATIONWALKING AWAY FROM THE SEXUAL PEVERSIONS OF MANKINDWALKING AWAY FROM THE LIES AND DECEIT OF USWALKING AWAY FROM THE LACK OF TRUSTWALKING AWAY FROM THE NEW ORDERWALKING AWAY FROM THE THEMWALKING AWAY FROM YOUWALKING AWAY FROM MEWALKING AWAYWALKINGGONE Posted by
THE FRAGILE (AN ODE TO THE DESERT ROSE).
She shinesIn a world full of uglinessShe mattersWhen everything is meaninglessFragileShe doesnt see her beautyShe triesTo get awaySometimesIt's just that nothing seems worth savingI can't watch her slip awayI won't let you fall apartI won't let you fall apartI won't let you fall apartI won't let you fall apartShe reads the minds of all the people as they pass her byHoping someone will seeIf I could fix myself I'd...But it's too late for meI won't let you fall apartI won't let you fall apartI won't let you fall apartI won't let you fall apartWe'll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hideWe'll build a wall and we can keep them on the other sideBut they keep waiting and pickingAnd pickingIt's something I have to do (I won't let you fall apart)I was there, too (I won't let you fall apart)Before everything else (I won't let you fall apart)I was like you (I won't let you fall apart)ARTIST: NINE INCH NAILS.
When the dark wood fell before meAnd all the paths were overgrownWhen the priests of pride say there is no other wayI tilled the sorrows of stoneI did not believe because I could not seeThough you came to me in the nightWhen the dawn seemed forever lostYou showed me your love in the light of the starsCast your eyes on the oceanCast your soul to the seaWhen the dark night seems endlessPlease remember meThen the mountain rose before meBy the deep well of desireFrom the fountain of forgivenessBeyond the ice and fireCast your eyes on the oceanCast your soul to the seaWhen the dark night seems endlessPlease remember meThough we share this humble path, aloneHow fragile is the heartOh give these clay feet wings to flyTo touch the face of the starsBreathe life into this feeble heartLift this mortal veil of fearTake these crumbled hopes, etched with tearsWe'll rise above these earthly caresCast your eyes on the oceanCast your soul to the seaWhen the dark night seems endlessPlease remember mePlease remember me ARTIST: Loreena McKennitt Posted by
FOR MY GYPSY WITH THE RESTLESS SOUL.
It must be summer the sky is clearThe garden is so beautifulAll the flowers and all the treesMake Me feel like they're inside of MeI'm holding My friend’s handWhile we're walking in this landIt's all but a dreamMy bed is moving, I cannot see a thingI am in total darkness, someone is callingI can feel the cold, it's all around MeI know it's not a dream, No no noSomeone is in My roomStanding at the end of My bedMust be a visit from a restless soulNow I see her figure, her face against the glassAnd there's no reflection, she's in the mirrorCould it really be, has she returned?My dearest gypsyMy dearest gypsy will you tell meYou know we don't have no secretsMust be a visit from a restless soul"I will send You a dream...”Adapted from a visit from the dead by King Diamond.
THE STORY OF ABUSE AGAINST WOMAN.