12“ngay nanga ina apal ngaw danal poethay ngaru thanamulpa, ngay koey poeypiyam, kuyk nginu poeybayzi kupay ngayapa a nginu nel. wara thanamulngu thadhumay oesiginga, matha urapun guythuyaydhin. na ngaru kedha nuyn kulay ngapa maygi thusin yadu palgarngu, nungu kuth. wa na maygi thusiw ya ngaru kuyku nidhan. 96 II Bathi "uRector" le ekhaya. They say "Rector" at home. ukhishwa unelungelo lokugqoka gaiters pectoral engu-- zinezintambo zobuhlalu, kamilavka futhi mace. ngo--2000, maxim evgenievich waphakanyiselwa elisezingeni archpriest. namuhla, ukukhuluma ngokupheleliswa kuyinto eyodwa. noma ngabe kwenzekani, kumele nibe naso lesi sinyathelo sobufakazi ngendlela efanele. uma wawuceliwe ukuba usebenzele unkulunkulu ethempelini, ungakwenza kanjani? uma ungeyena umpristi, futhi kungekona ukuthi unokuma okufanayo nokwezindlalifa noma amadodana kankulunkulu, ungakwazi ukwethembeka? ungakwazi yini ukwenza konke okusemandleni akho ukusabalalisa umbuso kankulunkulu? ungakwazi yini ukwenza umsebenzi owuthunywe unkulunkulu ngendlela efanele? noma ngabe usukhule kangakanani, umsebenzi wanamuhla uzokwenza ukholiseke ngaphakathi, ubekele eceleni yonke imibono yakho. ukuthi unakho noma cha okudingekayo ukuze uphishekele ukuphila, ekugcineni, umsebenzi kankulunkulu uzokwenza ukholiseke ngokuphelele. abanye abantu bathi: ngiyakholelwa kunkulunkulu, kodwa abazi ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukuphishekela ukuphila. kanti abanye bathi: ukukholelwa kwami kunkulunkulu kuyinxubevange nje. ngiyazi ukuthi angeke ngipheleliswe, ngakho--ke ngikulungele ukulungiswa. ngisho nabantu abafana nalaba, abakulungele ukujeziswa noma ukushatshalaliswa, kumele bavume ukuthi ngisho nomsebenzi wanamuhla wenziwa ngunkulunkulu. abanye abantu babuye bathi: angifuni ukupheleliswa, kodwa, namuhla, ngiyafisa ukwamukela konke ukuqeqeshwa ngunkulunkulu, futhi ngiyafisa ukuphila ubuntu obujwayelekile, ngithuthukise ubumina, ngihloniphe zonke izinhlelo zikankulunkulu... kulokhu, sebenqotshiwe futhi banobufakazi, okufakazeka kona ukuthi lukhona ulwazana kulabo bantu. lesi sigaba somsebenzi senziwe ngokukhulu ukushesha, futhi esikhathini esizayo, uzokwenziwa ngokushesha emazweni aphesheya. namuhla, abantu abasemazweni aphesheya abakwazi nokulinda, bonke bajahe ukuya eshayina—ngakho--ke uma ningapheleliswanga, nizobe nibambezela abantu basenazweni aphesheya. ngaleso sikhathi, akukhathaleki ukuthi ninjani, uma isikhathi sifika umsebenzi wami uzofezwa futhi upheleliswe! anginandaba nokuthi ningene kahle kanjani noma ninjani; wonke umsebenzi wami ngeke ubanjezelwe yini. ngenza umsebenzi wabantu bonke, futhi asikho isidingo sokuthi ngichithe esinye isikhathi ngani! anigqugquzelekile, anazi lutho nhlobo! anikufanele ukupheleliswa—ayikho nencane inhlasi yethemba! esikhathini esizayo, ngisho noma abantu bangaqhubeka bezidonsa, bengazilungisi izimo zabo, lokhu ngeke kuwuphazamise umsebenzi womhlaba wonke. uma sifika isikhathi sokuthi umsebenzi kankulunkulu uphele, uzophela, futhi uma sifika isikhathi sokuthi abantu basuswe, bazosuswa. yebo, labo okumele bapheleliswe, futhi abakufanelekele ukupheleliswa, bazopheleliswa—kodwa uma ningenalo ithemba, hhayi umsebenzi kankulunkulu ngeke ulinde wena! ekugcineni, uma unqontshiwe, nakho lokhu kungathathwa ngengobufakazi; akunamkhawulo wokuthi yini unkulunkulu angayifuna kuwe. noma ngabe isiqu somuntu sikwazi ukufika ezingeni elikhulu kangakanani, lokho kumele kube ubukhulu bobufakazi babo. akunjengoba abantu becabanga ukuthi ubufakazi obunjalo bungafika emikhawulweni ephezulu kakhulu nokuthi buzoba bukhulu—angeke kwenzeke lokhu kunina bantu baseshayina. ngixoxisane nani sonke lesi sikhathi, kanti nani nizibonele lokhu. nginitshelile ukuthi ningaphikisi, ningahlubuki, ningenzi izinto ezimbi lapho ngifulathele. ngiwasho nginibhekile lawa mazwi izikhathi eziningi, kodwa nalokho akwenele—uma nje ngiphenduka niyashintsha, abanye bangiphikise ngasese, ngaphandle kokuba namahloni. nicabanga ukuthi angikwazi lokhu? nicabanga ukuthi ningangidalela izinkinga bese kungenzeki lutho? nicabanga ukuthi angazi uma nifuna ukudicilela phansi umsebenzi wami uma ngingabhekile? nicabanga ukuthi amasu enu angathi shu anganimela ubunjalo benu? njalo nibukeka sengathi niyahlonipha kodwa ekusithekeni anithembekile, nifihla imicabango emibi ezinhliziyweni zenu, ngisho ukufa akusona isijeziso esinifanele. nicabanga ukuthi umsebenzi omncane kamoya ongcwele kinina ungathatha indawo yokungihlonipha? nicabanga ukuthi senizuze ukukhanyiselwa ngokubiza izulu? anilazi ihlazo! anizinto zalutho! nicabanga ukuthi “izenzo ezinhle” zithinte izulu, okunivumele nathola izipho zendalo ezinenze nanolimi olushelelayo, olunenza nidukise abanye, nikhohlise nami? uyazi anicabangi! niyazi ukuthi ukukhanyiseleka kwenu kuvela kuphi? niyazi ukuthi okukabani lokhu kudla ebenikudla nisakhula? niyamangaza yazi! abanye benu abakashintshi ngisho nangemva kokukhuluma nani iminyaka emine noma emihlanu; nicaciselekile ngalezi zindaba, kumele nicacelwe yindalo yenu—ngakho--ke ningaphiki, uma ngelinye ilanga, nilahlwa. abanye, abakhohlisa labo abangaphezulu nabangaphansi kwabo emsebenzini wabo, babhekane nezinto eziningi; abanye, ngenxa yokuthi banomhobholo wemali, babhekane nezinto eziningi; abanye, ngenxa yokuthi ababeki mingcele ecacile phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane, babhekane nezinto eziningi; abanye, ngenxa yokuthi bayavilapha, banake inyama kuphela, abakwenzi ukulunga uma beza ebandleni, babhekane nezinto eziningi; abanye, ngenxa yokuthi bayahluleka ukuba ngofakazi lapho behamba khona, benza isono futhi bangaziphathi kahle ngamabomu, bakhunjuziwe izikhathi eziningi; abanye bakhuluma ngamazwi nezimfundiso uma beza enkonzweni, baziphakamise kunabanye, bengenalo nelincane iqiniso, ngenkathi abazalwane besongelana, bencintisana nabanye—bavezwe obala ngenxa yalokhu. ngiwakhulumile kini lawa mazwi izikhathi eziningi, namuhla, angeke ngisakhuluma ngalokhu—yenzani lokhu enikufunayo! zithatheleni nina izinqumo! abaningi ababhekananga nalokhu unyaka owodwa noma emibili kuphela, abanye kube iminyaka emithathu noma emine, kanti abanye bakubonile lokhu eminyakeni eyishumi, bebhekane nakho ngenkathi bephenduka beba ngamakholwa, kodwa kuze kube manje luseluncane ushintsho kubo. nithini, anifani nezingulube? ingabe angikhulumi kahle kini? ungacabangi ukuthi umsebenzi kankulunkulu angeke uphele uma ungakwazi ukufinyelela ezingeni elithile. ingabe unkulunkulu angakulinda uma ungakwazi ukufezekisa izidingo zakhe? ngizonitshela nginganifihleli—akunjalo! ningabi nethemba elinjalo ngezinto! umsebenzi wanamuhla unesikhathi osibekelwe, unkulunkulu akanikhohlisi! phambilini, uma kuza izikhonzi zilingwa, abantu babecabanga ukuthi uma bengama baqine ebufakazini babo kunkulunkulu, kuzomele banqontshwe ngezinga elithile—bekufanele babe izikhonzi ngokuzikhethela nangokuthandela, babonge unkulunkulu nsuku zonke, bangazidonsi nakancane noma babe izinokwe. babecabanga ukuthi kungaleso sikhathi lapho bezoba yizikhonzi zeqiniso, kodwa ingabe kunjalo ngempela? ngaleso sikhathi, kuningi okwakwenzeka kubantu. abanye babaleka, abanye baphikisa unkulunkulu, abanye bakhwabanisa imali yebandla, abazalwane basongelana, baqalekisana babukelana phansi. kwakuyinkululeko enkulu kakhulu, kodwa khona okukodwa okwakukuhle ngakho: akekho owabuyela emuva. iyona nto enhle engashiwo ngakho. baba nobufakazi phambi kukasathane ngenxa yalokhu, futhi ngemva kwesikhathi bazuza ukuba ngabantu bakankulunkulu babambelela kwaze kwaba namuhla. umsebenzi kankulunkulu awenziwa ngale ndlela enicabanga ngayo. uma isikhathi sesiphelile, umsebenzi uzophela, kungakhathaleki ukuthi unjani wena. abanye abantu bangase bathi: ngokwenza kanje awubasindisi abantu, noma awubathandi—awuyena unkulunkulu olungile. nginitshela ngokucacile: umongo womsebenzi wami namuhla ukunqoba nina nokunenza nibe nobufakazi. ukunisindisa kungumxhantela; ukuthi nizosindiswa noma cha kukulokhu okufunwa yini, akuhlangene nami. yebo kumele ngininqobe; ungalokhu uzama ukuhola phambi kwami ngekhala—namuhla ngisebenza wena, hhayi okunye!