This Is Me Trying
"This Is Me Trying" (stylized in all lowercase) is a song recorded by American singer-songwriter Taylor Swift. It is taken from her eighth studio album "Folklore" (2020), which was released on July 24, 2020, via Republic Records. Swift and Jack Antonoff wrote the song, which was also produced by them along with Joe Alwyn. The ninth track on the album, "This Is Me Trying" is a meditative dream pop and orchestral pop song supported by an organ, slow-paced beats and horns. Its lyrics address themes of regret, accountability, low self esteem, alcoholism and existential  crisis. Upon the release of "Folklore", "This Is Me Trying" was met with positive reviews from music critics; praise centered on Swift's vocals and the song's portrayal of mental health, addiction, and emotional vulnerability. Commercially, the song debuted at number 39 on the "Billboard" Hot 100 and number 13 on the "Rolling Stone" Top 100 following "Folklore"'s release, alongside the other 15 tracks on the album. It landed at number 9 on the "Billboard" Hot Rock & Alternative Songs chart and reached the top 20 in Australia and Singapore, and charted inside the top 40 in Canada. Background  and release. Taylor Swift surprise-released her eighth studio album, "Folklore", on July 24, 2020, through Republic Records. The album eschews the upbeat pop production of Swift's previous releases and adapts indie folk and alternative styles, brought about by collaborations with Aaron Dessner and Jack Antonoff. Swift also brought along Joe Alwyn to help produce the album, which he did along with Swift and Antonoff on "This Is Me Trying", the ninth track of "Folklore". In the primer that preceded the release, Swift teased imageries of various tracks, with "This Is Me Trying" being about "a whiskey bottle beckoning ." Composition. Swift has stated that "This Is Me Trying" was inspired by multiple narratives, such as her state of mind in 2016–2017 when she "felt like <nowiki>[she]</nowiki> was worth absolutely nothing", as well as themes of addiction and existential crisis. In the documentary concert film "Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions", Swift affirmed that the song touches on alcoholism. "This Is Me Trying" is an orchestral pop and dream pop song that documents the accountability and regret of an alcoholic narrator who admits feeling that they are not enough. It is instrumented mostly by a "yawning" organ, subtle  horns, percussions, strings and a saxophone. Swift's vocal range in the song spans between D to C. The song is written in the key of A major and has a moderately fast tempo of 136 beats per minute. Critical reception. Alexandrea Lang from the "Dallas Observer" named "This Is Me Trying" as one of the "most profound and underrated" songs on "Folklore", as well as praising Swift's "gorgeous, breathy vocals" and the "flawless" capture of emotions of someone struggling with motivation and mental illness. "Rolling Stone" critic Rob Sheffield said that the track is "the disturbingly witty tale  of someone pouring her heart out, to keep herself from pouring more whiskey." Regarding the song's metaphor set around curve and sphere, Sheffield commented: "what a math flex"; "Taylor could have invented geometry, but Euclid couldn't have written this song." Rob Harvilla of "The Ringer" called the song one of the album's "most luscious and intense songs", soaked in regret, failure and booze, "as luminous as it is dolorous". He praised Swift's "sharp and specific" writing and the "gauzy lusciousness" of Antonoff's production. "New Statesman" critic Anna Leszkiewicz defined "This Is Me Trying" as an  expansive, atmospheric portrait of someone opting vulnerability over "defense mechanisms" in a relationship. Despite viewing the song less favorably, Eric Mason, writing for "Slant Magazine", praised Swift's vulnerability in the song, stating that she was "mining both her vulnerability and her ability to do harm" on the track. Commercial performance. Upon "Folklore" release, "This Is Me Trying" debuted at number 9 on the US "Billboard" Hot Rock & Alternative Songs chart, and at number 39 on the all-genre Hot 100 as one of the album's 10 tracks to chart inside the top 40. It further reached number 15  on the Singapore Singles chart, number 18 on Australia's ARIA Singles Chart, and number 30 on the Canadian Hot 100. Usage in media. "This is Me Trying" was used in a commercial celebrating American gymnast Simone Biles' return to the 2020 Summer Olympics after she withdrew from several events due to medical issues. The song also soundtracked the seventh episode of the first season of American television series "Gossip Girl" (2021). Credits and personnel. Credits are adapted from the album's liner notes.