South Africans are not being left behind in the phenomenal growth in internet dating. It is claimed that more couples meet through internet dating sites than through any other medium.There are many questions when you join this fun and safe way of meeting new people. We try and answer some of them.
Om suksesvol op ons Goue Jare webwerf deel te neem is eintlik vreeslik maklik:
Die eerste stap is om net eers bietjie rond te kyk en hier moet mens twee belangrike dinge onthou:
- Eerstens is dit totaal gratis. Om aan te sluit as 'n gewone lid kos niks. Gewone lede kan hulle profiel skep en op die Goue Jare bladsy plaas, hulle kan rond kyk na ander profiele, knipoog en flankeer en hulle eie posbus lees vir inkomende boodskappe.
Om meer te kan doen vereis dat mens jou lidmaatskap moet opgradeer maar dis nie verpligtend nie. Met ander woorde jy kan al die tyd saam speel en deel neem sonder om te betaal en dit is eers wanneer jy ernstig belangstel in persone dat verdere kontak 'n fooi vereis.
Die goue advies is SLUIT NET EERS AAN!
- Tweede ding en ewe belangrik:Dit is 100% vertroulik. Niemand, selfs nie eers ons, nie, het insae tot 'n lid se persoonlike informasie en kontak besonderhede nie. Daar is geen gevaar dat ongewenste persone jou telefoon nommer, e pos adres of fisiese adres in die hande kan kry nie, BEHALWE as jy dit vir hulle gee nie.
Die enigste mense wat insae het tot wat ge pos word is die moderators. Hulle taak is net om te keer dat niemand pornografiese, afstootlike of vulgêre goed pos nie
Posted by Editor at 08:25 No comments:
Successful Internet Dating Part 3: Is it safe?
Nothing could be safer if you follow a few simple rules:
Remember you are anonymous for as long as you wish to be and you can break off contact any time you like. If you feel uneasy about anything you can block that person from contacting you.
In other words: You determine the pace and the level of involvement. You can flirt, wink, romance, laugh and have fun without having to meet or divulge your contact details.
Once you decide that you are interested enough in someone and want to take the relationship up a level and meet, you will feel more relaxed and comfortable following this advice:
Most dates are interesting and fun: even if you decide not to meet with someone again, it is still social contact and stimulating
1. Bear in mind that it is an introductory and "getting to know you" session.
2. The first meeting - Meet in a public place during daylight hours, like in a coffee shop. Avoid dinner dates or after hours in a pub.
2. Play it safe until you are confident and feel comfortable with your date. Do not divulge your home address or phone numbers quite yet. Be patient.
3. Some of our members took a friend or a colleague with for the first date.
4. Have a plan B so that you can escape if the meeting does not go according to plan. Have transport available, for example.
5. Be sure that someone knows where you are going.
Posted by Editor at 01:03 1 comment:
Succesful internet dating part 2: How do I write my profile?
The challenge is to keep it simple, honest, spontaneous and not too long.
Your first step is to write a draft on a piece of paper.
Try and stick to the following principles:
Remember the person reading your profile is browsing through a number of them and he or she may lose interest half way through if it is too long.
It will not take long for a potential partner to realise that a profile contains some half truths or misrepresentations and break off contact.
Read a few other profiles. (we offer a free sneak preview on the registration page). Ask yourself if you would contact such a person? The idea is to provide basic information in an interesting way. Concentrate on the essentials and leave out the extra bits for now. You can get back to family and specifics later.
What are the "essential bits"?
Let us first look at the interesting parts. Who are you? This will determine the type of person that is likely to respond. If you love camping and hate opera say so, but stick to the broad picture. If you are a committed religious person with strong beliefs say so to avoid future conflict and possible heartbreak. Stress your fun bits and what you like. State your pet hates - if you dislike smoking or sport or travel, make it clear.
Then the essential bits:
Your age. Be honest.You can still be interested in someone not in your age bracket without having to misrepresent your own age.
Your marital status and your family. Potential mature singles are a lot more interested in you as a person than in your family history at this early stage. You can say, for example " I lost my husband/wife four years ago and have 3 married children and 5 grand children". There is no need now to go in to their ages, gender and where they live. Save that for later.
Write your profile, leave it for a while and then sit back and read it objectively as if you are a person reading it for the first time.Ask yourself if you would respond to a profile like the one you have written. If the answer is yes, go ahead and post it.
If you are fortunate enough to have people that are close to you that you can consult, show them what you have written and invite them to comment. You can also send it to us at pensionpower@gmail.com for a strictly confidential review.
SENIORS LOOP LIG: TROU IS NIE PERDEKOOP NIE
Deur Jan Bekker
Sestig-plussers is die vinnigste groeiende groep internet-afspraakmakers en hulle is ook volgens ‘n Amerikaanse Universiteit in Ohio, meer realisties en eerlik met hulle profiele en aanlyn fotos.
Volgens ‘n onlangse opname op ‘n webwerf in Suid Afrika is die grootste begeerte van ouer enkellopende mense ‘n nuwe lewensmaat. Wat doen hulle daaromtrent? Hulle sit bepaald nie en wag vir ‘n toevallige ontmoeting nie. O nee! Hulle wend hulle tot die internet.
Op sestig en ouer is baie mense nog nie afgetree nie en wil ‘n huweliksmaat hê so te sê sonder om tyd te mors.
Meeste mense beskou die huwelik as vanselfsprekend. Romantiese liefdeshuwelike vind groot aanklank by die algemene publiek. Daar word jaarliks miljoene rande aan huwelikseremonies bestee.
In weklikheid is die huwelik as instelling besig om te disintegreer. Ek noem slegs enkele voorbeelde:
1. Die redes vir huwelike – liefde, kameraadskap, stabiliteit, kinders en ‘n gesinshuis is nog dieselfde. Desnieteenstaande word byna die helfte van dié huwelike ontbind deur egskeiding.
2. Baie vrouens is nog in werklikheid onderdanig aan hulle mans. Ek was onlangs by ‘n huwelikseremonie waar ‘n Nederduits-gereformeerde Kerk predikant die bruid gevra het of sy belowe om gehoorsaam te wees aan haar man. Sy het “ja” geantwoord. As ek die dominee kon spreek sou ek hom gesê het hy moet haar antwoord met ‘n knippie sout neem. In die werklike lewe is vrouens grotendeels geëmansipeer.
3. Seks is hoegenaamd nie meer ‘n oorwegende faktor nie. Dit was uiteraard jare terug ‘n dryfveer om ‘n huweliksmaat te hê. Voorbehoedmiddels het vir albei geslagte meer vryheid geskep om in verhoudings te wees sonder om ‘n formele huwelik te sluit. ‘n Amerikaner het geskryf “The diffusion of the pill was enormously powerful”.
4. Ander erkende huweliksvorme het op die voorgrond getree byvoorbeeld saamwoonverhoudings (domestic partnerships) en huwelike. van persone van dieselfde geslag. Beide is nog steeds kontensieus.
5. Baie mense trou nie of trou op ‘n hoë ouderdom. Hulle het eers op ‘n latere stadium kinders of mag wel besluit om glad nie kinders te hê nie.
6. Die kerk of te wel die Christelike geloof was ‘n behoudende faktor. Mense hier te lande en elders verlaat die kerke in groot getalle sonder opgaaf van redes.
Ek dink dis amper te goed om waar te wees, dat ouer mense gepaste lewensmaats kan vind. Ek gun dit hulle van harte - My vraag is egter wat maak jy met die nuwe liefde in jou lewe?
Eerstens:Voor jy ‘n huweliks of ander ooreenkoms aangaan, maak ‘n noukeurige opname van al die geld en goedere. Moet niks aan die toeval oorlaat nie. Wat gaan daarvan word as julle trou? Dis nie goed genoeg om te sê: Ag! Ons gaan op huweliksvoorwaarde trou. Dit laat die geld en goed nie verdwyn nie. Ten beste maak dit die verdeling makliker met egskeiding, maar na die troue moet julle die dekstoele herrangskik. Volgens ‘n onlanse berig in ‘n Sondagkoerant is daar selfs ‘n museum van meubelstukke en ander ware wat dien as voorbeelde van die verbrokkeling van huwelike.
Tweedens, as jy deur die waas van verliefdheid realisties kan wees omtrent jouself en jou internet maatjie, maak ‘n bestekopname van jouself. Mense wat met mekaar wil saamleef moet nie net lief wees vir mekaar nie – hulle moet aanpasbaar wees. Ek het ‘n ruk lank by ‘n gesinsadvokaat gewerk. Nadat ons ‘n briesende, vegtende paartjie gespreek het, het ek telkens gesê: Die twee mense moes nooit getrou het nie.
Al die lesers sal voorbeelde hê uit hulle eie gesins – en vriendekring van twee mense wat eenvoudig onaanpasbaar is.
Julle het nie julle kinders se toestemming nodig nie, maar dit sou goed wees om met hulle oop kaarte te speel. In enkele gevalle sal ‘n kind of kinders hulle pa of ma se nuwe lewensmaat nie kan verwerk nie. Moet om daardie rede nie sommer terugdeins nie.
Teen hierdie agtergrond sou ek sê mens moet op gevorderde leeftyd nie sommer trou nie. ( Moenie vir die dominee sê ek sê so nie).
As jy dan wil trou gaan ‘n weloorwoë huweliksvoorwaarde kontrak aan.
Derdens probeer ‘n saamleef-verbintenis. In Engels noem hulle dit ‘n “domestic partnership”. Die gevolge kan by wyse van ‘n ooreenkoms op skrif gestel word. Kry ‘n prokureur om daarmee te help. Dit is nogal wetlik afdwingbaar.
Laastens, lees nou mooi wat ek sê :
Wêreldwyd het daar spontaaan saamleef en afsonderlik leef verhoudinge ontstaan. In Engels noem hulle dit “Living Apart Together” (LAT). Julle hoef dan nie julle kalwertjies in dieselfde kraal te jaag nie. Elkeen behou sy eie goedjies en identiteit, maar is tog in liefde en gemeenskaplikheid trou aan mekaar.
Die feit dat die wêreld met moderne tegnologie kleiner geword het, maak samesyn makliker. Ek weet selfs van paartjies wat inter-kontinentaal so ‘n verhouding het. Waarom nie?
Maar sodra jy trou of soos man en vrou begin saamleef kan die poppe begin dans!
Ek het gesê: moenie vir die dominee sê nie maar ‘n dominee wat bevriend is met my suster het vir haar gesê sy wens haar kerk wil haar toestemming gee om sulke paartjies in so ‘n samelewingsverhouding te bevestig.
Jan Bekker is 'n regsgeleerde, 'n senior burger en iemand wat seniors se belange op die hart dra.
Posted by Editor at 05:54 1 comment:
Online dating part 1: Should- or shouldn't I ?
Join thousands of like-minded singles meeting new and exciting friends. If you are hesitant, what are your concerns?
- " I am too shy"
Forget it, you are completely safe and nobody can identify you before you decide to divulge your personal details.
- "I do not want to be labelled as cheap or easy!"
It is true that there are dating sites that run close to the risky side with questionable links and that is why you should use a respectable and reputable site that is well controlled. Our service provider is one of the most experienced and professional sites in business and they have their own filters and trained moderators to prevent smut from entering the system.
- "What if I want to break off contact?"
It is the easiest thing in the world. The system caters for that. Remember you are just chatting and flirting until you decide to meet or add the next dimension to your relationship.
-"But is it safe? I've heard some horrible stories."
It's true that you must be careful but it's easy to play it safe. "Golden Years" provides you with some practical advice and tips.
-"What do I put in my profile?"
The golden rule is to keep it honest and simple. "Golden Years" will guide you along with the experts.
See our following postings where we will be discussing all these aspects
Posted by Editor at 04:58 No comments: