Frozen Assets (film)
Frozen Assets is a 1992 American comedy film directed by George T. Miller. It stars Shelley Long and Corbin Bernsen. Plot. Zach Shepard, an executive at a Los Angeles bank, gets a new job at a bank in Oregon, which is revealed to be a sperm bank. After some initial confusion, Zach and the sperm bank's doctor, Grace Murdock, deal with a shortage of donations by holding a contest with a $100,000 prize. Citizens abstain from sex to save themselves for bank "deposits," while a local brothel protests the sperm bank for ruining its business . Zach is assisted in assorted ways by Newton, an escaped mental patient who lives with his mother, and before his work is done, Zach and Grace are ready to open up a joint account. Filming. Filming took place in Portland, Oregon and the Columbia River Gorge. Reception. The film bombed at the box office, only earning $376,008 in the United States. The film received negative reviews, and was lambasted by famed Chicago film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert. Ebert also gave the film the rare zero stars rating in the "Chicago Sun-Times", writing "I felt like I  was an eyewitness to a disaster. If I had been an actor in the film, I would have wondered why all the characters in this movie seem dumber than the average roadkill. What puzzles me is this film's tone. It's essentially a children's film with a dirty mind. This is a movie to watch in appalled silence. To call it the year's worst would be a kindness." "Frozen Assets" holds a rare 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes based on 9 reviews.