Funniest jokes you know - Page 264
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Posts 6,612	Originally Posted by McT
Quite the contrary. Dry humour is. Entertaining. I appreciated it.
I enjoyed some of them too...
Posts 535	A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a tooth-pick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp goes off.
Posts 6,612	Originally Posted by shovenose
Reply With Quote 03-01-2012 08:49 AM
Posts 14,638	Originally Posted by d7e7r7
That still doesn't say HOW he died??
It's a bit of a mystery how he died. Some speculate there was arsenic poisoning in his wallpaper. But he died in bed.
Posts 197	Originally Posted by cerebus
His doctors did a Michael Jackson on him. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3913213.stm
Posts 2,794	Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
Sigh...guess where I am now...
Posts 535	What's the similarity between free healthcare and good jokes?
Posts 243	Jag kamp..... Vier ouens het na dieselfde jagplaas in die Kalahari gegaan vir baie jare. Twee dae voor hulle weer sou gaan het Vossie se vrou haar voet neergesit en ges� dat hierdie keer gaan hy nie.
Vossie se p�lle was uit die aard van die saak baie ontseld, maar wat kan 'n man maak.
Twee dae later toe die drie egter by die jagplaas aankom kry hulle Vossie sit by die vuur met 'n bier in die hand. Tente was klaar opgeslaan. Vuurmaak hout op 'n hoop en die vleis klaar op die rooster.
"Hoe lank is jy al hier? En hoe de hel het jy reggekry om jou vrou te kry om jou te laat kom" wou hulle weet.
"Wel ek het vroeg vanoggend hier aangekom"
"Gisteraand sit ek gatvol op my stoel by die huis toe my vrou van agter kom en my o� toedruk en vra "Raai wie" Ek haal haar hande af en sien dat sy die sexyste nightie aanhet.
Sy vat my hand en trek my kamer toe. Daar gekom sien ek 'n klomp kerse wat brand en roos blare die hele w�reld vol. Op die bed l� daar toue en 'n paar handboeie. Sy s� toe ek moet haar uittrek en vasmaak op die bed. Ek doen dit toe maar. Toe s� sy "Nou doen jy net wat jy wil"
So hier is ek
Posts 243	I asked a pretty, young, homeless women if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile. The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box...
Posts 243	Jong outjie wat nog nooit seks gehad het nie is met n meisie in sy kamer. Sy le kaal op die bed en vra hom: Weet jy wat ek wil he? Hy se nee. Sy maak haar bene oop en vra: weet jy nou? Hy se nee. Sy maak haar bene wawyd oop en vra:Weet jy nou wat ek wil he? Hy bloos en se: Ja,jy wil die hele donerse bed vir jouself he!
Posts 3,067	Jokes about Chinese a sign of razy lacism
Posts 243	Outjie in weermag stuur vir sy ouma 'n handgranaat met notatjie aan. "As ouma die pennetjie uittrek, kry ek 3 dae af om te kom kuier"Liefde, Boetie"..
Posts 16,930	Originally Posted by crabman
I asked a pretty, young, homeless women if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile. The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box...
Posts 2,794	A Department of Water Resources representative (Philemon) stops at a Free State farm and talks with old farmer Koos. He tells Koos, "I need to inspect your farm for the water allocation". Koos says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there". Philemon says, "Meneer, I have the full authority of the ANC Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?" Koos nods politely and goes about his chores. Shortly, thereafter Koos hears loud screams and spies Philemon running for his life followed close behind by the farmer's bull, who's gaining with every step. Philemon is clearly terrified, and is screaming for help, so the old farmer throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs..... "Your card! Show him your card! "
Posts 197	Seuntjie ry saam sy pa in die kar en skielik waai daar 'n vibrator teen die windscreen vas. Die seuntjie kyk verstom daarna...sy pa skrik en sit die wipers aan en vee d vibrator weg. Seuntjie vra sy pa: "**** pa wat was dit?" Die pa antwoord: "Dit was maar net 'n tor gewees". Seuntjie skree: "F#kkit, het pa daai tor se p!el gesien?!"
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