Middle aged white male living in Africa: Wreckless Euroafrican: Afrikaans joke with English translation
Afrikaans joke with English translation
Dit is wat gebeur as 'n vrou haar man saamsleep om inkopies te doen.
'n Brief van Pick & Pay Stellenbosch
Geagte Mev. Kruger,
Ons winkel is van plan om u gesin uit ons winkel te verban, tensy u man nie met sy streke ophou nie. Onderaan is 'n lys van al die streke wat hy aangevang het. Ons kameras het hulle oor die laaste maande geverifieer.
MEMO - Van Sekuriteitsafdeling
15 Dinge wat Mnr.. Francois Kruger aangevang het terwyl sy vrou inkopies doen.
Het 24 boksies kondome gevat en hulle in ander kliente se mandjies gegooi terwyl hulle nie kyk nie.
Al die wekkers in Houseware ingestel om met 5 minute tussenposes af te gaan.
Het 'n tamatiesous spoor op die vloer gelos tot by die tampon rakke..
Na 'n werknemer in Houseware gestap en haar in 'n amptelike stem gese: "Kode 3" .... en toe gewag om te sien wat gaan gebeur.
Het na die Dienstoonbank geloop en gevra of hy 'n sakkie M&M's op lay-buy kon sit.
Het die "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" bordjie na die matte afdeling geneem.
Het 'n tent in die Kampafdeling opgerig en vir kliente uitgenooi om in te kom as hulle kussings van die Beddegoedafdeling sal bring..
Toe 'n assistent hom vra of sy hom kan help, het hy begin huil en hardop geskree: "Hoekom kan julle mense my nie uitlos nie?"
Het reguit in die sekuriteitskamera gekyk asof dit 'n spieel is, in sy neus gekrap, en iets toe geeet.
Terwyl hy gewere in die jagafdeling gehanteer het, vra hy die assistent, waar kry jy die anti-depressante?
Pyl orals in die winkel rond op 'n baie verdagte manier, terwyl hy hardop die tema van "Mission Impossible" neurie.
In die Auto department het hy sy "Madonna look" geoefen deur verskeie groote tregters te gebruik.
Het homself in die klererak weggesteek en dan terwyl kliente deur die klere kyk, uitgeroep "PICK ME!", "PICK ME!"
Toe 'n aankondiging oor die luidspreker kom, het hy in die fetale posisie gegaan en geskree "NEE! NEE! Dis weer daai stemme!"
Hy het in 'n klere aanpaskamer gegaan, die deur gesluit, 'n tyd lank gewag en toe baie hardop uitgeroep:
"DAARS NIE TOILET PAPIER HIER NIE!!!!
This is what happens when a woman forces her husband to accompany her on grocery shopping days.....
A letter from Pick & Pay Stellenbosch
Dear Mrs. Kruger,
Our shop is planning to ban your family from our premises, unless your husband agrees to stop his pranking.
Below is a list of all the things he has been getting up to, caught by our security cameras, over the past few months.
15 Things that Mr. F Kruger did whilst his wife was shopping:-
Took 24 boxes of condom's and placed them into other shoppers baskets while they were not looking
Got all the employees in Housewares to take breaks of 5 minutes intervals.
Left a trail of tomato sauce all down the aisles leading to the Tampon shelf
Walked over to a worker in House ware's and said in an Official sounding voice,"Code 3" .... and then waited to see what would happen
Went to the service desk and inquired about taking a packet of M&M's on lay bye?
Moved the "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to the carpets section of the store
Pitched a tent in the camping section, and invited other shoppers to join him in there if they brought their own pillows
When approached by an assistant with an offer to help, started to cry, and shouted out "Why can you people not leave me alone?!
Looked directly into one of the security cameras, as if it was a mirror, picked his nose, and ate something.....
Whilst looking at, and handling firearms in the hunting department, asked the assistant where the anti-depressants were.....
Moved around the centre, looking very suspicious, whilst humming the tune to "Mission Impossible"
In the Auto department, he worked on his "Madonna look" by placing funnels of various sizes under his shirt
Hid himself in a clothes rack, and then as shoppers were looking through the clothing, would shout out "PICK ME!", "PICK ME!"
After an announcement over the loudspeaker system, fell to the floor, curled up in a fetal position shouting "NO! NO! it's the voices again!"
Went into a fitting room in the clothing section, closed the door, waited a long time, and then shouted in a very loud voice:
"THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!!!