Kungani indoda ikopela umkakhe?
Abafundi abathandekayo nabafundi kulesi sihloko, sizoxoxa nawe ngokuthi kungani umyeni betha umkakhe. Abafazi abaningi bazibuza lo mbuzo, bezama ukuthola impendulo, sibuye sifunde izincwadi eziningi ezahlukene, ngizozama ukukusiza ukuthi uthole impendulo yangempela kulo mbuzo ukukuhlupha. Abafazi bavame ukuhlukumeza futhi bacabange ukuthi isizathu singaphakathi kubo, ngifuna ukusho ukuthi akusiyo njalo njalo.
Kunezinhlobo eziningana zokuziphatha komfazi okuholela esimweni esicindezelekile somyeni.
Ukugqoke umfazi onjengobobola emathanjeni omyeni, qaphela ukuthi umfazi uyaduna, indoda ayiyikuphucula, kodwa ngokuphambene izoba kancane kancane futhi ekugcineni yiluhlobo oluphuzayo (yilokho oluyinkimbinkimbi mayelana nokubonakala ), nalabo abathandani ukuyinkimbinkimbi nabanjengobafazi, baya enkohlakalo, lapho, njengoba becabanga, bathandwa njengaleyo. Kodwa ngenkathi abantu bekhohliswa, ngoba ngezinye izikhathi imbangela yokuxabana komkakho kuyisimo esithile sokungalungi komyeni kumkakhe. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuthi umfazi, ebona ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle kumyeni wakhe, uvale futhi nje angamtsheli lokho, kodwa ucabanga ukuthi unecala futhi uhlala nalo, iminyaka eminingi. Intukuthelo eqoqwe, ithululelwa kuye, ingxabano, futhi umyeni akazi ngisho nokuthi iphutha lakhe liphi.
Kulesi simo, ungakwazi ukuxazulula le nkinga ekuqaleni, nje engxoxweni eyimfihlo bese uzama ukuqonda. Kodwa kule ngxoxo, ukuqonda komyeni kudlala indima ebalulekile, akusilo ngalutho ukuthi umuntu uphathiswe indima yenkosi emndenini futhi nguye owenza umnikelo wesifazane, ngakho-ke unesixhumanisi esinamandla, futhi umfazi uyena kuphela okungeziwe. Umfazi kufanele avumele kuphela umyeni wakhe ukuba abumbe umsizi kuye kuye ngokusho kwakhe.
Owesifazane uyajabula ngaleso sikhathi lapho ethandwa, futhi lapho ezwa edingekayo futhi ewusizo. Yilokho okuvame ukuholela umuntu ekuphandeleni, lokhu kubugovu, isimo sengqondo sabathengi. Lapho umyeni efuna umkakhe afeze konke okwenzayo, ngenkathi engaboni lokho okudingekayo umkakhe. Umfazi othanda umyeni wakhe uzama ukumncenga, kodwa ngaphandle kokuthola impendulo kulo kanye nezidingo zakhe nezidingo zakhe, unqabe ukuba nguye othakazelisayo kumyeni wakhe.
Futhi umyeni akasatholi ukuthola ukwaneliseka kwezidingo zakhe (vumelani lokhu ngokusobala isimo sengqondo sabathengi, ngoba umshado ungumsebenzi kanye nomsebenzi womabili) uqala nje ukubheka abalahlekile ohlangothini, futhi lokhu kuholela ekungcoleni umkakhe, oyilo ngempela inyama enyameni yakhe. Kodwa kulokhu ukukhashelwa nalabo besifazane, ngeke athole ukuphumula aze aguqule isimo sakhe sengqondo kulabo abakuzungezile futhi ufunde ukunikeza, hhayi nje ukuthatha. Kukhona isici esisodwa esengeziwe ebuhlotsheni bomndeni okuyinto embhedeni wothando.
Amadoda amaningi akhononda ngamakhosikazi abo ukuthi azi ukuthi angenzani noma yini nokuthi ayinandaba nawo. Futhi ukuveza lokhu kubangelwa ukuhlukunyezwa, ngenkathi ngesizathu esithile ukuthi ngaphandle kokuzisola kancane kancane. Hmm, kufanelekile ukucabanga ngamadoda othandekayo, madoda, akuyena yini okufanele ube uthisha wento yonke kumkakho? Zibuze lo mbuzo bese ubonisa. Futhi kuthiwani uma umfazi kufanele afunde kumakhelwane wakhe wonke amakhono othando, khona-ke ukujabulisa indoda yakhe?
Ngakho-ke, ngifuna ukukusekela umfazi othandekayo, ungaphelelwa ithemba futhi ukhumbule into esemqoka ukuthi ungoni futhi uholele indlela yokuphila yobuqotho. Futhi endaweni ethile ekujuleni komphefumulo, ngisho nenhliziyo enzima kunazo zonke nenhliziyo enonya yomuntu uyakwazisa hhayi owesifazane oyedwa wekhono elilula alikwazi ukufaniswa nendoda, nomfazi onomusa. Amadoda ngandlela-thile bacabanga (okuyinto, ngendlela, ukucabanga okungalungile) ukuthi bangashintshwa, bacabanga, abakwazi ukucabanga ukuthi buhlungu kangakanani, kumkakho.
Futhi ingabe umfazi onjengale ndoda (eqeqeshwe njenge-rag) okuvela kuye, njengomfazi onogwaja, othuka udaka, ngoba ubufebe ulingcolile futhi unengekayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubufebe bomkakhe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubufebe bomyeni wakhe. Futhi yilokhu engifuna ukukutshela amadoda abathandekayo: Thanda abafazi bakho, ufundise omkakho, futhi lolu thando oluqotho nokuqonda okuzolifundisa ngalo, luzoletha izithelo ezinkulu nezomnandi zokuphila komndeni ojabulisayo. Futhi umkami othandekayo, ngifuna ukukusho kuwe: Lalela abayeni bakho ngobumnene bomlingiswa, futhi njalo uzoba yinkosi yakho nomphathi womndeni futhi lokhu kuyomenza ajabule. Ngokuzithoba ngithemba ukuthi emva kokufunda lesi sihloko uzoqonda okuningi, ngokwakho.
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