A slice of life | All who wander...
« Vriendelike wenke vir die allerdaagse motoris	‘n Eendag »	A slice of life	Published Februarie 3, 2010	Jesus , liefde , Life
She looked older than when he’d last seen her.Even though it has been a mere three weeks. Thinner as well. Her eyes were…different. Like she understood more, but through pain.
The embrace was awkward. As if they didn’t quite know what to say to each other.
“You look good” he had to say something
“You too” her eyes didn’t smile with her mouth “Coffee?” He nodded yes. She didn’t need to ask how he drank his coffee.
They talked for a few minutes about their lives. It might as well have been silence. Words came out but they didn’t mean anything. But it was better than saying nothing. Somehow they had to fill the silence.
“Rachel I…” he started, putting his hand on her leg.
She recognized this gesture as mere friendship and it hurt her. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
“Please…no more talking about…stuff. Let’s just have coffee” her eyes were serious and he knew that if he continued the conversation he would scare her away.
He asked about mutual friends. She asked about work. There were moments when they ran out of conversation and she would furiously start re-arranging her skirt, the cups on the table, straighten the tablecloth…anything to keep her hands busy. To not look at his eyes. She didn’t want to be here but she didn’t want to leave. Finally he got up.
“It was good to see you” he meant it.
“Yeah for me too” she meant that it was painful, but needed. When he left his hug was shorter than she remembered. His smell stayed in the room a few seconds longer than he did. Closing the door she sank to the ground, burying her head in her hands.
Vannaand is ek deurmekaar. Ek is bang en huilerig en emosioneel. Ek verstaan nie my gevoelens en my emosies nie. Ek verstaan nie my eie hart nie. Voel of my passies en drome geen sin het nie en of ek nie kan uitfigure wat in my eie lewe aangaan nie. Ek voel moedeloos en alleen en ekt nerens om heen te draai nie. Pappa, terwyl ek hier in my badkamer hoekie sit vra ek dat U beheer vat van als. Ek weet eks soms impulsief en oor-emosioneel, maar ek weet ook ek is sterk en kreatief en ekt baie om te bied. Ek bid net weer dat Pappa al hierdie deurmekaar dinge in my sal vat en iets moois daarvan kan maak. Ek sien partykeer nie uitkoms nie en ek sien nie hoe al hierdie dinge gaan uitwerk nie, maar Here, ek gee dit aan U. Ek weet U kan my hart en lewe gebruik. Ek weet U het my gemaak en U verstaan my al verstaan ek nie myself nie. Ek glo dat U my pad vir my sal wys en deur alles sal dra Here en ek glo dat U wil in my lewe sal geskied. Ek weet U kan dit wat lelik is mooi maak, dit wat hartseer is joy gee en dit wat deurmekaar is heel maak. U plan is soveel groter en beter as myne en vannaand gee ek net weer als aan my Pappa.
3 Responses to “A slice of life”
Februarie 3, 2010 om 2:56 nm	Amen!
Februarie 7, 2010 om 11:21 nm	Sjoe. Sterkte. En cool gebed.
Het ek gemention dat jy ‘n awesome skryfstyl het?
Februarie 8, 2010 om 5:34 nm	Tnx Cara
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