prompt
stringlengths 61
2.46k
|
---|
r/Advice
TITLE: I will be getting kicked out of my degree program. Can't afford to delay my graduation date. What do I do?
POST: Sorry if this is too long...
I am currently an accounting major at a public university. I got accepted into the accounting program this past fall. I had a 3.8 GPA when I was accepted. My program is very difficult and has strict GPA requirements. One of the requirements is that you cannot have below a 3.0 GPA for two semesters in a row after being accepeted. This is only counting the classes I have taken prior to being admitted into the program. Last semester I took four classes and got a 2.9 GPA that semeseter because one I had two C's. This semester I tried so hard to get above a 3.0. I just checked my grades and I failed my final exam in one class and have a D. There is no way my other grades will make up for this D, which means I have to transfer programs.
I'm looking at what programs I could get into and I will have another semester at least if I transfer to the one that aligns best with accounting. (finance) The university I go to is very expensive and I have to be away from home. I really can't afford to stay out here and pay rent for another whole semester, let alone a year if it comes to that. I also have been extremely homesick which is part of the reason I haven't been able to keep up my grades. I want so badly to just go home and give up. If I did go home, what are my chances of getting into a university back home? Will any even accept me since I have so many credit hours? (I'm a senior) My parents will be furious at me if I don't get some kind of degree. Also, I want to be back home because my boyfriend and I have had plans to get married for a long time. He is only waiting until I finish school and move back home to marry me. I don't want to have to keep him waiting any longer.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23M] with my [23F] 4 months so far. What to do one a person says 'I love you' but you're not quite there yet also.
POST: The other day while on the phone I think my girlfriend almost said that she loves me (I'm currently away on a 2 week business trip). She started to say "I lo..." then changed her departing comment to "good night, I miss you."
So I'm thinking that when I get back from my trip she might say that she loves me. We are pretty close now and we have the best communication that I've ever had in a relationship. I'm very happy with where we are but I'm not in love/falling in love quite yet. I think she has stronger feeling than I do.
If she does say that she loves me I don't want to lie and say it back but I also don't want things to get awkward and change. I'm really comfortable with the relationship. What should I prepare for?
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: Tell us your most WTF dream
POST: I just had a dream that i was in my college common room watching TV when Conan O'brien walked in. I didnt want to say anything but my friend yelled out. I then proceeded to tell a bad joke and he left. He came back with a skateboard and started to do sick tricks down the stairs outside of our college. Then one of my friends showed him up with even more sick stunts. Then for some reason we were in a prison gym and he challenged one of us to a fight. So this old asian prisoner volunteered. Turns out he was an old kung fu master. Anyway the fight starts and Conan has something to prove so he comes in with this huge spinning kick and instead of blocking it the kung fu master takes the hit right in the face so has he can deliver a shattering right hook. They are both knocked down but Conan gets up. Turns out he killed the kung fu master. We didnt tell him however as we didnt want to upset him
TL;DR: |
r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I(24F) feel responsible for my boyfriends(25M) back problems. He sleeps on a crappy futon- I made him through away his previous bed because he cheated on me on it.
POST: Title says a lot.
My bf and I are in a good place now, really. We had an incredible bumpy start, and it all escalated when I found out he had been having an affair with a (former) friend of ours. This was about 6 months ago (the reveal). We totally crashed and burned, obviously, but from the wreckage we build up a new, solid, honest relationship. However, especially in the beginning (and still, but a little less) I was disgusted by the places, memories, phrases even, and the physical stuff that was 'contaminated' by the betrayal. Including the bed. He was super remorseful, took these feelings seriously and accommodated me in that he actually threw away his bed (amongst other things).
He has been sleeping on a crappy futon since then. He doesn't have money to spare to buy a new bed. His back is absolutely killing him now, and I feel bad for it. I try to give him massages, but I have medical problem which means I can't properly do it without hurting my wrists (though I try).
He is getting cranky and frustrated because of the pain, he won't blame me, he really is very attentive to my feelings, but I still feel like I'm responsible.
What can I do to make this situation suck less for the both of us?
*Extra info: (He doesn't have spare change for a new bed/physical therapy, etc) He's really really healthy and fit and active, btw, so it's just the bed, not other factors. I have some spare change, but he hates it when I give him things, and something as expensive as a bed, he really wouldn't like that.
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: Will Reddit suffer the cancer that /b/ did?
POST: I attended /b/ for about a year and a half before the cancer struck, you were guaranteed something funny or interesting for every page (albeit amongst a load of shit). Then it got worse, people I knew started talking about it, the type of people who shout the "the game lol" over and over again and visit icanhascheezburger everyday. Eventually I left /b/, it was either shit new memes or the same ones over and over.
At the moment, reddit has become my new /b/, not that they are in anyway similar, I just mean that if I'm getting bored I can come on here and find something funny/interesting. I just don't want those same people I know finding reddit and raping it.
I feel reddit is so good, that it will attract more people and with those people will come the same retards and we will be overrun with shit memes.
TL;DR: |
r/offmychest
TITLE: My best friend needs help, and I'm fucking lost.
POST: Her boyfriend is a creep and a loser, and she refuses to see it. He's like late 40s, for reference, and she & most of our friends are mid 30s. I'm mid 20s.
* He's hit on me and most of my girlfriends. He asked me if I wanted to fuck on the dining room table...at my birthday party. And I'm married.
* He creeps men out by talking about guns and drugs all the time.
* He drinks waaaay too much every fucking night. He passed out in my yard at my birthday party, and a little girl saw him and had her mommy call the cops. To my birthday party.
* He got banned from our local bar because he was such a creep to everyone around.
* He totaled her car & got a DUI & possession charge. He's in jail right now, which is why I'm writing this.
* He goes through jobs and hates all of them, but it's never his fault.
* He/They live in this disgusting flop house place.
She's losing/lost so many quality friends because of him, so she hangs around his friends who are losers too, and I think she thinks this is normal.
I've tried talking to her, but she just won't get it. I think I need to break up with her, which I hate to do, but I can't make her understand this. I feel like shaking her and screaming at her or maybe staging an intervention, but I don't know what other ways to say it. They've been together like 10 months, but long distance for 4 of that, and she just seems to think he's worth living like this for.
I actually had a lovely brunch with my parents, husband, and two other very close friends on Sunday, and it's like, doesn't she want to be included in stuff like this? Doesn't she realize she's not, not only because of him, but also because of what he's turning her into?
He is dragging her down with him.
TL;DR: |
r/travel
TITLE: California to Florida road trip planning
POST: Hello everyone,
Just recently started using Reddit and seems to me this is the best site to ask questions. Me my gf are thinking of flying out to California, most likely Santa Monica, from Germany and take a road trip down to Orlando to see my family. I myself don't usually do so much planning, but my gf is making it all so stressful and difficult about the places she wants to see and go to.
She is a fan of national parks, and as she was writing down national parks and looking up information about them, it seems to be that most of them will be closing several areas around the time that we will be traveling. This kind of devastated her and stopped trying. Now I am looking for some sort of advise on other cool things to see. I mean really, national parks aren't the ONLY good thing to see in the states. I need help on thinking about the best plan on a road trip. Is there some sort of website to help you out together road trips(please don't say Google maps lol, and if you do explain detailed), not just to drive straight but to stop on the way to see awesome stuff. I am not very good at this stuff and that's why I am asking for help. If it was just me I'd rent/buy a car and drive myself to Orlando with a GPS lol.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26/F] feeling heartbroken and rejected over something that was never really there
POST: I've been chatting to a guy [23] online for the last half year or so. We instantly clicked, and we enjoyed each other's company. We played an MMO together and loved it, we chatted constantly on Skype, exchanged phone numbers and so on.
Over this time he's often made flirtatious remarks to me, complimented me when he saw my picture, called me beautiful and gorgeous, said he was jealous if I talked to other guys, and he said we should meet up next summer to have sex.
From all of this I got the impression he had a crush, or some feelings towards me. I know I did.
He would often mention another internet friend of his, let's call her Jane. I have to admit I got jealous over this, since he'd often compliment her as well, etc. I finally decided to ask him if he has a crush on Jane, and his reply was: "Good question. I don't know."
I was very bummed. I asked if he has a crush on me, and his answer was "I hope it's okay if I say no :P".
I'm just feeling very rejected and shitty and confused over this. I suppose we won't hook up next summer, but I haven't asked about that. My hunch is he wants to end all of this. And it's heartbreaking.
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: What on earf was that creepy sound and flashes of light in my apartment complex last night?
POST: So last night I wake up at three in the morning to what can be described as a less intense, shorter version of the Inception "BRMMMMMM" sound accompanied by flashes of light. It happened again so I looked out of my window, and it happened once more, but I couldn't tell where the light came from. Then a portion of my apartment complex goes dark.
I'm guessing it was a power thing, but what the hell made that strange noise and what was flashing so intensely? It was really creepy. Gave me the heebie jeebies for a little bit (I was gonna say "heebs", but TIL that's an ethnic slur).
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My gf (19F) asked me (19M) for a time to think how we can make things better.
POST: Me and my gf broke up a couple of months ago for 1 month. We got back together and since then I've been a little bit paranoid about trying to do things right this time (a little bit too much). We spoke about it and she asked for some time, so both of us can think about what's wrong and how we can do better. I'm a little bit scares with "time outs" because I'm always afraid of what it really means. She asked me not to create any movies in my head about she not loving me anymore etc. What are your thoughts?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: [M23] Is there any way to non-awkwardly ask someone if they are bothered by you or are afraid you like them?
POST: Just looking for experience on your part. I have this issue with men occasionally, but I often feel like with certain women I just rub them the wrong way, even if I just want to be nice. I seem to get along with these women just fine, but there is always some degree of reservation that I perceive which ends of being a catch-22.
For example, if I feel that someone is afraid I like them or thinks I am odd, etc, I tend to back away to try to figure out why I might bother them (I sure as hell don't want people bothering me, sometimes). In doing so, I am afraid sometimes I become ever more strange in their eyes, as if I am giving my motives away (my motives aren't even usually set at this point), and that scares them. Then I want to approach these people (again, bigger issue is with women my age) and ask them if I rub them the wrong way, but that would expose the fact that I am thinking that, and would make it even more awkward.
Does that make sense? Perhaps I am a little neurotic, but I want to know if I am all alone or if anyone has ever dealt with similar circumstances frequently. Thanks!
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: I[20M] have been thinking about ending it with [19F] of three years. Am I making a terrible decision?
POST: So I met the girl I am currently dating senior year of high school. Some of my friends and family advised me to end it before leaving for college but I didn't, and I definitely suffered for it. A lot of the time that I could have spent making friends I spent on skype with her or other messaging services.
Sophomore year was rough but we made it through it without many problems; she came to college in the same town as me.
I just started my third year and I am strongly considering breaking up with her. In my head I justify it and support it, but at the same time thinking about it makes me sick.
It's not one thing, it's just a feeling of general malaise across our relationship for the past few weeks.
I just feel like I'm wasting the best years of my life. I do love my girlfriend, I love her 100%. I just don't think that I will spend the rest of my life with her, so I'm not willing to give up all of my college years for her. That being said, I don't now if I will regret giving that up more than I would regret losing her probably forever.
Am I making a terrible mistake? Is breaking up with my long-term gf so that I can be single in college make me a terrible person?
TL;DR: |
r/Dogtraining
TITLE: My dog seems to know she has been bad when I get home. How can I "punish" her so she will be better?
POST: My dog is a 2.5 year old Pit/Boxer. She will have "accidents" inside and will ALWAYS get into the garbage if we don't put it on the counter (she has even ripped a cabinet door off to get to it). She is left alone 90% of the time for a max of 4 hours. I have been told and have read many times that dogs don't understand a punishment if you were gone when the incident occurred. But when my girlfriend or I get home she will run and hide in her kennel when she has been bad but if she hasn't done anything she will be at the door waiting all happy and waggy. It really seems as if she knows when she has been bad. So how can I stop this behavior?
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the worst injury you've ever sustained from a seemingly innocuous item/object?
POST: So I ate a Chicken Kiev the other day, and finally got round to washing the plate today (lazy, I know). Anyway, the garlic butter remnants on the plate had hardened into a diamond-like substance, and, as I was trying to scrub it off, a large shard of dried garlic butter was somehow sharp enough to slice through my skin and embed itself in the tip of my finger. I've just spent the last 15 minutes gouging this sizeable garlic butter shard out of my fingertip. There is blood on my keyboard as I type this.
So what are your stories of ridiculously improbable injuries? Ever been mugged by a marshmallow? Strangled by a butterfly? And if so, what story did you make up to explain said injury to inquisitive friends?
TL;DR: |
r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU or actually my mom did.
POST: So this all actually started on Christmas. My mom got one of my brothers a branding iron for Christmas with an M on it. (M is our last initial) They also got me a Go Pro. Last night we had a small party, nothing to crazy just a few friends over that we hadn't seen in a while.
After a beer or seven, my three brothers decided to use the M to brand themselves. I sneakily got the rubbing alcohol, claiming it was for a cat scratch that one of our friends received. After our parents went to bed the boys made a small fire and heated the branding iron. Obviously, I got my Go Pro out and filmed the whole thing. One by one they branded an M on to each of their left arms. We all joked about my parents reaction. We knew they wouldn't approve, but none of us guessed just how much. I mean they bought him a branding iron as a stocking stuffer. They knew what was coming, right?
We expected a "y'all are fucking stupid, keep it cleaned" and nothing more. This morning at breakfast my dad came in and said we left the rubbing alcohol outside and asked why it was our there. My mom, assuming I'm not a filthy liar, began to tell him that one of our friends was scratched by my cat. Most of our friends crashed at our house last night so when my mom started up with the cat story everyone started giggling. One of my brothers decided to show our parents, who then proceeded to get pissed the fuck off. After some yelling at the brother that showed them his M brand on his arm, the other two decided to keep quiet. (We're all in our early 20's and none of us will be home for long anyways) My mom is currently not speaking to any of us and telling her dog that she is her only child now.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28F] with my BFF [25M] of several years, I think I'm attracted to my friend
POST: I am a 28F, married to 27M. My best friend is a guy, 25M. We have known each other for years, but have only ever been just friends. He moved away a few months ago for a job, and was recently in town for a few days for a visit. I noticed while he was visiting that he got HOT. He joined a gym in his new town and definitely put it to good use. Does it mean anything that I feel a little bit attracted to him now? Is it a danger to the friendship and (more importantly) my marriage? Or is it just the novelty of seeing my BFF looking healthy and happy?
TL;DR: |
r/dating_advice
TITLE: Haven't had a relationship, how do I ask a girl I used to know out? [M20]
POST: I am 20, and have never had a serious relationship, so whenever I get interested in a girl, I get pretty nervous. I am at a university, and knew this girl my freshman year (2 years ago) decently well, but we didn't keep in touch at all last year.
However, i bumped into her after move-in, and we talked for a short while. She seems just as cool as I remember, and I'd like to ask her out, just to give it a shot, you know? I was wondering if I should try to re-establish contact, or just ask her out up front?
Additionally, I am terrible at planning dates, so I was wondering what I should ask her out to do. We're both pretty chill, and into anime and videogames, so I was thinking just dinner and a TV date or something. I don't know her super well anymore, but I just want a little advice and a push before I end up talking myself out of it.
TL;DR: |
r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not going to the movie with her
POST: TIFU by not going to a movie with this girl. After a pretty big meet today, we all celebrated by going to a restaurant together as a team. As the meal closed, she went up and jokingly asked if anyone wanted to see a movie with them. Me being myself, I jokingly said I would like to come. She said in a serious voice that you can come if you want to, at first I said no because I was joking. Later, they asked me again and I said sure, but I don't have any money. They then said they would pay for me. they were making sure I would like to come and kept saying yes. They had already paid for their food and said they were going to wait outside. I had to wait for the waiter to pay for the food, I told them it'd be a while til' I get out of here and pay and told them to go the movie, they were insistent that I go and told them no it's fine and they left. The biggest part was that I had a crush on her, and I let them go to the movie because it'd take me a while and they'd end up being late to the movie....
TL;DR: |
r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/M] Girlfriend [21/F] wants to move in together, not sure if I'm ready..
POST: So as background my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2.5 years. Up to this point we've had a pretty great relationship. When we first started dating we lived ~10 mins apart, then I moved 1.5 hours away for school. This past year she moved to the same city as me (~5 min apart now). There are a few things that bother me.
First, she doesn't have very many of her own friends and she doesn't seem to make an effort to find any. As much as I love hanging out with her, I also like spending time by myself or with my own friends. I have tried telling her that I appreciate some alone time and it seemed like this offended her..
Next, she is a bartender and will often work Friday/Saturday nights. The problem is that she gets upset if I go out to parties/the bars with my friends while she's working. There have been a couple times where she's gone out with friends without me, and I always encourage this (because of the reasons above), I wish she would act the same way.
Both of our current leases end in August, and she's made it very clear that she wants to get a place together. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. We had a very serious fight last night that ended with me saying I needed some time away from her for a couple days. I love her, but right now I'm questioning if I want to stay in this relationship, let alone sign a lease together. I know it's very difficult to judge someone's relationship based on a few paragraphs, but I would appreciate any advice/opinions. Thanks.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my ldr boyfriend[26 M] 3yrs, have gotten a huge crush on coworker [25M], don't know if I should break up with bf.
POST: I'll keep it short and simple- my bf and I have been long distance for two and a half years. We have talked about marriage and te like. I enjoy being able to text him during the day, but when we get together we fight... A lot. Last visit he threatened to break up with me several times.
Throughout all this I got a new job and have been working with Alex, 25M. Alex isn't perfect by any means but I find him nice and he respects my intelligence. I have no idea if he's attracted to me or not but I'm leaning towards no unless I lose some weight (I'm a little chubby). But lately I found that I keep thinking that if he asked me out I would break up with my boyfriend to go out with him, but since he knows I have a boyfriend he won't entertain the idea at all because he's a nice guy. Unlike me..
I guess I am afraid to break up with boyfriend because I don't want to be alone, especially since I have no idea if Alex sees me that way. I do have feelings of love and affection with my boyfriend but being long distance with no end in sight is really starting to wear
On me..
TL;DR: |
r/AskDocs
TITLE: Had a bad concussion (hospitalized) about a year ago. Did not have any follow up appointments afterwards. Just want to make sure that I didn't miss an important appointment.
POST: Age : (20s or 30s)
Sex : Will disclose if relevant
Height : Will disclose if relevant
Weight : Will disclose if relevant
Race : Will disclose if relevant
Duration of complaint : 1 year
Location (Geographic and on body) : US; head
Any existing relevant medical issues (if any) : See below
Current medications : Will disclose if relevant
Include a photo if relevant (skin condition for example) : n/a
About a year ago, I was shot in the head. The bullet skimmed, but did not pierce, my skull. Per a brain scan that day, I had no brain damage, but I had a pretty bad concussion as a result of both the bullet wound and from hitting the pavement when I fell (lost consciousness; symptoms lingered for more than six months). I received appropriate psychological help.
I was treated at a *very* busy level-one trauma center, and when I was released, they told me to follow up with my primary care physician to get the staples removed. I did, but there were no other instructions to get any follow-up checks done regarding the concussion.
I just want to double check and make sure that's normal protocol. A friend mentioned he had had to go back to his doctor for a follow-up check after a more minor concussion (there were other injuries involved, so it's possible the check-up was for those).
I'm guessing that since I haven't died in the past year, I'm probably fine, but I don't really want to guess wrong on that.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] can't get over my friend [21 M] regularly fucking my best friend [20 F] for whom I have feelings
POST: I've been best friends with this girl for almost two years and we were very close and open with each other but completely platonic.
Recently I started to develop feelings for her which I thought were reciprocated, until I found out one morning that she'd fucked my friend in a drunken encounter the previous night.
A bit of context: we were spending a lot of time together, probably too much. I'm at college with a small close knit group of friends, and I feel like this has alienated me from the group.
I told her my feelings and she apologised for not making her feelings clearer. She wasn't interested but still wants to be my best friend. I told her I can't do that and I've made it clear I'm avoiding her.
I've shared this with one close female friend but I haven't told the guy yet. News around here travels very fast so everyone in my social group knows about this happening but they don't know how I feel about it. In the past I'd have shared something like this with my best friend and normally felt much better but now I can't do that.
I don't know how to move forward with this and I feel very lonely here in this claustrophobic environment.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: I [28M] just sent a closure letter to my ex-girlfriend [30F] and am nervous for no reason
POST: Hi, Reddit. This is probably a totally pointless post, but I just e-mailed the ex (who broke up with me a month ago) attempting to gain some closure. I said I wanted to stay friends, but when we're over this hump and not a second before.
Now I'm waiting on pins and needles for a reply that might never come
for a situation I am going to wait out because it hurts too much right now, anyway. I have no idea why I did this. Even when writing it, it seemed dumb and unnecessary. Now I have no idea why I am so nervous. I feel like my stomach has dropped.
TL;DR: |
r/Advice
TITLE: Career Advice: Corporation malarkey
POST: I currently work for a company as an LMS technical trainer. In the middle of August, I met with one of the associate vice presidents in charge of our company's e-learning division who told me that the company would be acquiring a new LMS (different than the one I train in) and gauged my interest about a possible position change.
I was receptive and starting researching the product. I continued to email back and forth and meet periodically with the VP, was able to gain admin access to a sandbox of the new product, started going through admin training and after a while, I was told to get my resume ready and that the job would be posted soon.
So last week, my boss asked me about this other position. I explained that the job hadn't been posted and that I didn't really have a time frame as to when this other thing might happen. My boss said that the VP had "handpicked" me and had given him the go ahead to put in a requisition for my replacement so that I could start this new position on the 16th of December. Now, they are making the final decision on my replacement by Friday, but the VP hasn't come out and said you have the job and I don't have an official offer letter with salary or location or detailed responsibilities.
I also filled in the VP about the plans to replace me and he said he would follow up with my boss without giving any more information. He did, however, give me another project to do which will be hard to complete in a timely manner in addition to my other responsibilities.
So, my question is: should I be worried about the position I'm in or is this just a lot of behind-the-scenes corporation bullshit? Also, do I have any recourse other than just waiting?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] with my [17F] of 2 years, I'm a little confused about the whole situation and need some advice.
POST: I'm starting to feel like I'm not attracted to her much anymore and have been for a month or so. It's hard though as she is my first love and I don't particularly want things to end.
However, the other night when I was thinking about this I had a random thought of "What if I'm Bi?" (I was drunk at the time). I don't know why this thought occurred and that's why I've turned to you guys.
I've never been attracted to someone of the same sex in anyway and I'm not aroused at the thought of being with someone of the same sex (Not that I think there would be anything wrong with that). I still find myself attracted to females and often think about being with other people besides my girlfriend.
I'm convinced that I got this thought because I'm losing attraction towards my girlfriend but I really want to know what you guys think?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My [26 F] ex [30 M] used and cheated on me with his new girlfriend and has changed for her now - I feel like I cannot move on
POST: I was dating my bf for around 8months when he started to act really strangely. I decided to stay away from him but he would not let me go, I blamed me for everything. I was naïve and felt bad about it so I apologised and went back to him again and again. I was super naïve and in love.
One night he texted me to come over to his place, he pretended that everything is fine then we slept with each other. After that he asked me how I get home, he has to think about his feelings. I felt so humiliated and used. I begged him not to do that to me but he was so cold.
I told him that I don't want to see him anymore, then again he got really aggressive. He told me that I am selfish, that I treat him badly and that I don't even give him time to think about his feelings.
I didn't reply and I didn't see him for like a months until he texted me that he misses me. Eventually a friend of mine approached me and told me that he has a girlfriend. When I told him that I know what is going on, he just said, well now you know, I wish you all the best (he texted me on facebook). I was so furious and I wanted to talk to him about it but he just told me that he is so in love now and that he wants to change. First I thought he is not capable of change but now they have been together for almost two years, and he is so proud of being with her, treats her so nicely.
The first six months, I could barely go through a normal day, now I have better and worse days but I still feel so horrible especially as I can see that he has changed. It is like I was not good enough. He has every right to be with the girl he loves, that it is not why I am so angry, I am angry because of how he used me and that he did not even admit it or feels bad about it.
The only comforting thought is to think about him might not be a completely changed man. Is it possible that he has changed so much?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] need to tell [24?M] I've gone on a few dates with that I just want to be friends, but I don't know how to handle it.
POST: So I recently went on two dates with a guy I met at work, and while they weren't bad dates, exactly, I just don't feel any special connection there. It seems like he does, though: he's been texting me non-stop (whether I reply or not), asking if I want to hang out almost every night, and being very forward with his intentions. I feel smothered.
I have never been in this sort of situation and I really don't know how to handle it. I don't want to hurt his feelings or anything - he is a really nice guy, and I don't want to make things weird at work - but I don't want to go out with him anymore unless it's strictly platonic. I think he's lonely (at least, that's how it seems from the constant texting), so that really just makes me feel bad for basically not wanting to hang out with or talk to him.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My [25F] with my BF [30M] of 1.5 years wont stop saying hurtful things when we argue
POST: About 2 months ago, my boyfriend and I decided to move in together. This was a huge step for us as we still have a lot of commitment/trust issues we are sorting through. Ever since I moved into his place, we have been fighting close to once a week. When we argue he gets really angry and yells.
When he gets really upset he will say really mean things that will hurt my feelings, such as, "I don't want to do this anymore", "i'm not having fun anymore", "This isn't working out", "I'm not happy", "I want to breakup". He sometimes will go as far as trying to kick me out of the house (he owns the house), saying things like "get out of my house" and "I'm going to charge you for a weeks worth of rent and I want you out".
When I tell him these things are hurting my feelings, his response is "you're always mad at me" or "well, if I acted like you do, you'd be just as mad so I'm allowed to be mad". He never apologizes unless I explicitly say I need one. He is also convinced I am lying about anything and everything and has told me that he doesn't trust me, even though I have done nothing to have broken trust.
I'm starting to think moving in with him was a bad idea and that maybe actually breaking up is a good idea. I just love him so much and we have been through so much together (I had surgery, I lost my job, I started school again, someone died in my family, etc).
I told him that the next time he says hurtful things that I really might leave him.
Am I hopeless to think that his hurtful words will stop?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32F] with my sister [30F] - she's stuck on a failed relationship, idealizing the ex and devaluating her character. How do I help?
POST: A year ago my sister broke up with her then bf. We live in separate countries, so I never actually met him and my opinion of him was developed through her stories, but I never much liked him from what she told me at the time. I didn't think they had much in common in terms of interests, goals, values. She broke it off eventually and three months later decided she wanted to be with him and that she made a terrible mistake by breaking it off. He had moved on, or perhaps his interest never went past the initial honeymoon phase. Either way, he didn't want to give the relationship another chance.
She is crushed. They tried being friends initially, something I greatly discouraged as she was stuck on him and her feelings for him, but he just wanted someone to stroke his ego. In the end she had to go NC after being disappointed and crushed several times.
But even now, months and months after that she still hasn't moved on. She cries about him, and his image of him is perched on a golden pedestal - stripped of all the negative qualities. She has started thinking less of herself because she now thinks she made the biggest mistake of her life by breaking up with him.
This is all wrong, she is actively in therapy and she's actually studying to be a therapist herself, so it's not like she doesn't have the tools and help, but she's still stuck on that guy.
Is there anything I can do to help? Are there any good books on self-worth? I fell like this should be her priority now, to stop chipping at her self-image and idealizing a relationship that probably never even had a chance because - again - that person was not a good match for her to begin with.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my GF [26 F], asked to move to separate places... sh!t has hit the fan. What to do?
POST: Hi
I've been with my gf for just under 2 years. Generally, we get along quite well.
We moved in together about 11 months ago. At the time she had no one else to move in with and I felt kind of pressured without her actually asking and I ended up asking her to move in with me. I also got the impression she was doing it because some of her friends were moving in with their partners and so forth, I did bring this up at the time. When we were discussing moving in together I raised the issue that she does not earn much money and has a lot of credit card debt and a car loan, so I did not want her relying on me for money.
Since we've moved in we generally we get along well, not much fighting. There have been a few issues, mainly surrounding "give and take" e.g. I felt like I was supporting her a lot and she did very little for me in return. I feel like the situation has improved somewhat but still not quite where I'd like it to be.
I've never been quite sure whether I'd like to be with this girl forever, there are a few things I'm not sure about. I don't know whether I'm being nit-picky or whether I should be genuinely concerned e.g. she seems very quick to judge some people, quite anti-intellectual at times and very immature with money.
In addition to all that, I don't know what I want from her. I really really enjoyed the freedom of being single prior to being with her.
In the last couple of days I decided it'd be nice to move out to my own place when our lease is up (in about 5 weeks). Not surprisingly, she is very upset about it. I'm looking for a bit of clarity on whether it's worth trying to get over these issues or if it's better to cut my losses? I'd appreciate any insight you guys could offer!
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33 M] with my GF [32 F] 1 year, scared to end it
POST: she is nice... most of the time but can be mean when she gets mad, like she takes everything very personal and will lash out verbally when she feels like she is cornered..
She wants us to move in together soon.. we have talked about moving in together but that was when we were together for about 4 months, we even talked about getting married at the 2.5 year mark.. I shouldn't have agreed to that but i was really happy and was in the honeymoon phase with her i guess.
She keeps referring to herself as a girl with high standards and not high maintenance.. she likes fancy stuff and im more of a down to earth kinda guy.
eg.. she would rather eat a 10 dollar slice of cake at a fancy bakery over buying a whole cake for almost same price at other less fancy bakeries..
I feel like i have to keep impressing her.. day in and day out and have to be constantly talking to her when im not working or she will get mad and think its something against her.
I want tell her that i dont think i will be ready for marriage next year, i think we just had a big misunderstanding and i was more under the impression that around the 2.5 year mark we would make that call and get engaged and set a date for a wedding.
She is going to be furious when i tell her that..and that kinda scares me :/
I think she has an issue with men in general too.. her dad wasnt there for her growing up and i think this is why she is angry at men.. she has told me stories of her past with her ex and how she wants to make sure she hurts them more if they hurt her.
sorry for the rant..
/end
TL;DR: |
r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [24/F] am not sure whether or not i want kids, but my bf [23/M] does not think he wants kids, help!
POST: My bf and I have been together for over two years. Long story short, he has from the beginning said how he does not believe he wants kids; however, it could possibly change, but he doesn't believe he will want them.
I always thought I wanted kids growing up because it was what i was used to seeing,but now that I'm older and a preschool assistant teacher, I'm not sure anymore if i do or don't want them. Children require a lot of time, attention and money.
I do not want to get married just yet but hopefully after I graduate from grad school it can be more of an option. Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice?
TL;DR: |
r/Parenting
TITLE: Good god the tantrums have begun! And my SO and i are on different pages in how to deal.
POST: Oh.my.god.
My husband and i have a little boy who will be two in the next few weeks, hes your typical little boy. You know that stage, touch all the things! Terrorize the dog and cat, say no to everything mommy and daddy tell him. Now, im more firm with him than my husband. When our boy throws a tantrum throws himself on the floor, screams with big crocodile tears, its a good show for sure.
It makes me so sad seeing him that upset, but i know that i cant give in to him every time he throws a fit because hes not getting his way. I will let him sit there for a minute or two, then go to him and tell him why mommy said no. ( this morning i was a terrible person for not letting him push the kitchen chair to the window so he could fall out) anyway, when its just he and i his tantrums are very few and far between. When my husband comes home however, they are constant. Hes got my SO so wrapped around his little finger that its totally undermining everything ive done with him during the day. My husband cant stand to see our son bawling and screaming, it hurts his heart. I get it, it hurts me to but i dont want our son to become spoiled because he always gets his way.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [20M] is jealous because his parents like me[18]?
POST: So my boyfriend is an only child and I am his first relationship.
About two months ago, five months into our relationship, he decided to introduce me to his parents.
So we visited his parents. Everything went perfect they seemed really excited and seemed to like me I, of course was very happy about that and so seemed my boyfriend.
Well we went back and he told me again that his parents really liked me and were always asking about me on the phone.
The problem is now it seems like it annoys him that they always ask about me. yesterday they asked when we will be visiting them again and asking about my health and such he seemed kind of annoyed and told them " idk ".
Then he asked me if I wanted to go and I, feeling not welcome asked if he wanted me to come? And he said yes.
But I still feel really uneasy about this situation... He doesn't have many friends and before, his parents were the only ones who used to really ask about his day and such and now I feel like I am kind of invading that.
What should I do ?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My (22M) SO (23F) is "uncomfortable" in her body and I don't know how to help her
POST: I don't know if this is the right place for this but maybe someone here has been in her shoes and has some useful tips.
She is 23 and has always been that skinny attractive girl who eats what she wants when she wants and never seemed to gain weight. Until about a year ago anyways.
I'm not sure how much she has gained but its very noticeable and enough for her to tell me that she no longer feels comfortable in her body. Most of her old clothes don't fit her, she struggle to get into her jeans and she feels like she can't wear her belly shirts that she used to love so much.
She tries to eat healthy but it only lasts a few days until she eats something unhealthy, feels bad about it and gives up. She has never been active and refuses to really make a workout plan and stick to it. She does these 10 minute high intensity cardio videos every once in a while. It makes her feel good but its not consistent enough to really make a difference.
She wants to try weight loss pills but I try to talk her out of it, I think they're a rip off and aren't going to do anything without diet and exercise. She wont accept just burn more calories than you take in.
I think she's just scared of really trying and failing. And she has never really been active before so she doesn't know where to start or how to motivate herself. My advice and trying to coach her seems to just make her feel worse.
I was hoping someone here has been in this place before and got over it and could offer some useful advice on how to talk to her and motivate her?
TL;DR: |
r/personalfinance
TITLE: Should I sell my car to pay off debt?
POST: Looking for some advice on the benefits of keeping a paid-off car that I don't use versus selling it to settle debt.
I own a car that needs repairs in order to pass smog (it's a CEL issue) and has been sitting for four months. I've been walking to work and pretty much everywhere else and have found that not having a car is not a hindrance at all and actually kind of pleasant. This car has had multiple mechanical issues since I purchased it, and the latest one has me wanting to just give up on the car altogether. I cannot sell it in the state of California as it is, but I'm considering fixing it so it will pass smog and then just selling it as-is for KBB value so that it's out of my life forever.
I currently have $2000 worth of debt - about $1000 of which is collection accounts; the other $1000 is credit card debt. Because of the collection accounts and my credit card utilization, my credit is terrible and I would really like to repair it as soon as possible. Realistically, I could get around $4000 for my car and my intention would be to settle the debt and put the remaining amount into savings, potentially to use as down payment on another car way down the line, when I have had time to raise my credit rating.
I know the general consensus here is to keep a car that's paid off, but this car is useless to me and I think that the money may be more beneficial at this point. Is there anything I may be missing or not considering? Any thoughts or pointers are greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: I [19/M] just started dating a girl [25/F] I really like, but I've never been in an actual relationship. I don't really know what to do.
POST: Hi reddit.
I recently started dating a woman that I really like, after talking to her a lot for around a month. We go to university together and have a bunch of classes together, eat together, study together, etc. I asked her out, we went to the movies, had a lot of fun, kissed, yada yada.
My biggest problem is that I've never been in a relationship. I'm relatively inexperienced romantically(kissed like 2 girls and had sex once before), and this is the first time I met someone that I thought 'Damn I really want to spend a lot of time with you'.
I really like her, and so I don't want to rush things, but then I don't know what I can or can't do. How often can we hold hands? Do we just kiss whenever one of us feels like it? How do I know she wants to be kissed at a particular moment? How do I know HOW she wants to be kissed? How do I know if I'm doing something 'wrong'?
These are a bunch of things that, if it were some random girl, I wouldn't even care about(or at least not care as much). I really just don't want to fuck this up. Are there any basic relationship rules or something other than 'do what your heart wants'? I appreciate anything you guys can tell me (criticisms or advice)
Thanks in advance.
P.S I'm guessing that some people will wonder about the age gap. We've talked about it. It's weird but we both like each other and don't care for it. The fact that she's older than me only stresses me out more because she's had more experience with relationships than me, and I really, REALLY don't want to fuck up.
P.S.S This is my first post here, so I'm not sure how things work. If you guys need any additional information that I didn't mention to help out just ask :P
TL;DR: |
r/jobs
TITLE: Passion or Salary?
POST: Recent grad in need of advice!!
I graduated with a bachelor of journalism from a well-known university in Canada in April. We all know the journalism industry is really tough to find jobs in right now. I've had to move back in with my parents in my hometown, which I HATE and work at a terrible, soul-sucking minimum wage retail job.
I decided I might want to dip my feet in the PR industry, so I sent out my resume/portfolio to a bunch of firms in the area, just to see what happened. I got responses from three, two of which wanted me for a part-time, unpaid internship. The other said his firm had no open positions at the moment, but he thought my portfolio was "impressive and well put together," told me he'd be in touch if any positions opened up. So I've started interning at one of the firms, and have an interview at the other unpaid one this week. I absolutely LOVE the industry, am having a blast and think it's something I definitely want to do. But I'm not sure if the internships will lead to anything, and a girl's gotta get paid...
I have an interview this week for a "marketing coordinator" position. It's pretty entry-level, seems like it's just admin/assistant work for the higher-up marketing people. Not totally related to where I want to be in the future, doesn't seem like there's a lot of room for growth in the company. BUT it has a salary that would allow me to move out of my parents house, back to the city I love with my friends and finally be financially independent, and it would be a REAL JOB on my resume.
Who knows if I'll even get this job, but I'm kind of torn right now. I don't know if I should keep following my passion, even though its unpaid and rough right now, living at home and working part time retail is HELL. Or if I should keep looking for entry-level positions I'm qualified for that would allow for financial independence/moving out of my parents' house. Any advice is appreciated!
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [M24] be a better boyfriend for my girlfriend [F24] who is going through a tough time?
POST: Hi there, I've been lurking on Reddit for a while, but I wanted to see how I can help my girlfriend during a tough time. I've been with my girlfriend for about 2 years now. Our relationship is great and I love her, but I need help because I haven't been in a position like this before.
Recently, her father was in a freak accident which resulted into a coma overseas. My girlfriend went to his side as soon as she found out even leaving her job (she has another source of income which is enough to cover her basic expenses). I want to be at her side, but realistically, I can't leave my job because I just started here and I have no other source of income besides this job.
I want to support her and keep her happy as much as possible, but how can I help my girlfriend during this time even though I'm not there with her? The whole situation is pretty messed up with unnecessary drama and negativity from her other family members too. I currently talk to her via text messaging and FaceTime everyday. I tell her that she's amazing and so strong, but she tells me that it's very hard sometimes. Is there anything that I can do now or perhaps in the future when she is back home with her dad?
Could anybody who has been in her shoes or my shoes help me do the best I can in this situation? Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Any reason my [19 M] girlfriend [19 f] wouldn't have got me a valentines card?
POST: My GF got me a big sappy christmas card but no valentines card. We didn't get to see each other on the actual day but we decided to make V day Saturday instead. Handed her her card and chocolates and went out thinking she might give me one later. Forgot about it the rest of the day and she didn't say anything about it and I went home empty handed.
I'm not angry it's just I was kinda looking forward to getting my first ever valentines card and I'm a little disappointed. I came home to my parents and they thought I was joking when I said she didn't get me one. They think it was personal and I don't want them to see it.
She doesn't seem against cards since she got me one for christmas but none for my birthday or V day. I'll ask her why when I next see her but not in an angry tone, I'm just wondering if this happened to anyone else. She also made one for her sister and spent a long time on it.
Sorry if this seems trivial but it would've meant a lot to me.
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: Remember those 'friends' at school who would use you and never contact you until they need something else? Redditors,how do you decide if someone doesn't like you and isnjust using you?
POST: I just finished school and i'm about to go to college. In school i knew more than a handful of 'friends' who would act really friendly and chat until they asked for help I dunedin and when i did help them, they would thank me and then 'disappear' if you know what i mean. The problem was they really knew how to seem friendly and overstated in me until im done helping them and then we're back to "face i see in class mode, even if i try to talk to them they would reply politely until im done then forget my existence once more. And now we graduated and it's summer and as expected,i haven't heard from any of them. So i ask you all, since college will probably be filled with this type of people and not to sound selfish, i dont want to waste my time and life on these 'friends' (especially as an engineering major), so how do you.figure out who's a real friend and who's just using you, and has this ever happened to any of you? Also, what's the best way to deal with them?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] with my SO[21F] 9months, currently LDR I cant seem to help with her Mental Illness, causing a strain on her life.
POST: Ok, so when my SO and I first met she told me she had a few illnesses that were a huge part of her daily life, causing her alot of pain mentally and physically. Things like panic attacks, stress anxiety, blackouts, vomiting, nausea, her body just hurting because her mental illness is making her.
She suffers from depression, to the point of it physically hurting where she is unable to move. This is the cause of many issues in her life which dont need to be explained, however she has been undergoing therapy and medication for quite some time.
Now, considering we are now LDR its made it really hard for me to help during the times she is struggling, which is almost daily. There are times were she will wake up and be physically hurting from her mental illness and I am unable to do a thing other than try to talk to her over skype.
Due to this there are times where she believes she is alone and unable to have any help and its agony because I want to help so badly but I cant because im a long trip away, is there anything I can do to try and understand whats happening to her? Whenever I ask she barely talks about it saying it just causes her alot pain, panic attacks, stress and aggravating her depression.
What can I do to help her through this whenever she is ill?
TL;DR: |
r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by having my picture taken with what I thought was a fake easter bunny
POST: So I went to the store with some friends today and noticed a life sized easter bunny sitting in an Adirondack chair surrounded by flowers and other decor. I thought "cool im gona be a douche and take a dumbass picture of myself" So I tell my friend to take my picture and I pose with my arm around the easter bunny making the metal sign and my face right in his ear like im screaming. after taking it, the bunny suddenly turns his head and waves, scaring the crap out of me and my friends. I jump and yell "WHAT THE (BLEEP) BRO" and then awkwardly laugh and say "sorry dude..." and walk away. keep in mind there were tons of little kids everywhere and parents and old people that saw and heard me jump and shout out an expletive... I was THAT guy...
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of about three years, are having problems because of romance problems plz help!
POST: To explain my problem, I should start at the beginning. At the start of our relationship my gf and I were pretty happy, but there were problems that came to the surface over time. Such as she liked being pampered and never reciprocating the favors I have done for her. Which we have talked about before and fixed, but she keeps going back to selfish and needy. The things I do for her about everyday are rub her hands, feet, and back, make food, and pretty much do anything she asks me too. I know I am somewhat enabling her, but I can't help it... I love her a lot.
Another problem is our sex life has become drastically slowed down and she has become very unromantic. In the beginning we were romantic and had sex almost everyday, but now, I am lucky to get it once a month. That is if I am begging for it too and being a pain in the ass lol. She will just not be in the mood. Which for me is a bit of a problem because I like to be romantic and I have a high sex drive.
Lastly, considering all of these issues. I am living five hours away for the summer and I have become really paranoid that she would do things with her guy friend she has know for years that she hangs out with. I know it is one of her only friends and she says that nothing would ever happen between them, but I can't help but wondering if the reason she doesn't do stuff for me is because she is doing it for him.
Overall, these are the problems I am having problems fixing, because I am far away right now, a lot of the problems stem from her, and I feel like I don't do enough to change or fix these problems. I love her tremendously and would do anything to keep our relationship enjoyable. So any relationship advice would be most helpful. Thanks :)
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My [16m] gf [17f] has recently told me her father gets drunk and verbally abuses her with a past of some physical abuse.
POST: My girlfriend of a few months recently revealed to me that her father gets drunk and verbally abuses her and her family every other night. I am the only one she has ever told about this outside of her family and none of them want to go to anyone abiut it. I've tried talking her into maybe calling the police or social services or whatever to get him out of there. Whenever I come over he acts nice to me but I can tell he Is hungover. Tonight my girlfriend butt dialed me crying and I listened to her sob for 3 minutes trying to get her attention. I hung up and called back and asked if everything was alright, she acted like nothing had happened until I told her I had heard her crying and she just broke down again. When she was younger he used to hit her and had broken her nose and left a few scars I've seen. She tells me he knows what he does when he is dober but he won't even acknowledge it. She insists that I can't help her that she doesn't want me to but tonight put me over. I am generally concerned for her because I love her and I know I'm young but we actually connect on every single level. I need advice on what to do. She goes to college next year and she is usually the one to protect her mother and little brother when he gets this way, I am worried once he's gone it will get worse for them.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my kind of gf [18 F] 6months. Im not sure how to handle my feelings and mistrust.
POST: me and my "gf" have a very complicated relationship. I will try to explain it quickly here.
1. we both play tennis competitively and love playing together (how we met)
2. here parents dont allow her to date and she needs permission to hangout with me. (she will do it secretly but hates lieing)
3. because of #2 we keep our relationship a secret and dont even tell each other that we are bf/gf.
4. we are usually busy through the week but hangout almost every weekend.
5. we text pretty much everyday.
here is where my confusing feelings come in. Im completely in love with her. I invest more into the relationship and I'm pretty sure we both know it. But if she doesnt text me,or if she cancels her plans with me or something happens where we cant spend very much time together (2 hour date turns into 30 minute date), I get extremely angry. I feel like im not important or that our time together isnt worth very much to her.
I dont show my emotions or feeling about this at all with her. This is because If i expressed my anger, sometimes it would be unwarranted, and I have trained myself to not get upset with her (or at least not in person). In fact most of the time my anger and jealousy is unwarranted but I still cant help feel anger and mistrust about her when we are not together.
My question is, am I going about this the right way? I dont express any of these feelings to her and because of this she is very happy with our relationship and thinks she can tell me anything (which i love). But its hard, I feel completely dependent on her and would love some feedback.
TL;DR: |
r/AskDocs
TITLE: Chest pain in the morning
POST: Hello, I've been having some chest pains when I've woken up. It's been in the morning, and the it disappears after some time upright, tho it is still uncomfortable for a while when walking around.
It began a couple of weeks ago. I was on vacation in italy with my family, and from day 1 it started. I assumed it was a bad bed, and looked forward to the next hotel we would go to after the first week, but that didn't change anything, even my own bed at home isn't any better. It seems that the longer I sleep the worse it gets, so it seems that it has something to do with laying down for extended periods of time.
One might start to think of my size by now, but I actually lost 5kg's on said vacation, and didn't have these problems prior to my vacation.
One thing does spring to mind, is my older brother (well half-brother, but meh) who has been diagnosed with a very rare disease where his liver and lung doesn't heal, and therefore if he doesn't go light on them, they get worse. (he's lived 1 year in china with work, and that gave him some lung pains) I however find it very unlikely that I have this, as both parents need to carry the illness and even then theres only 1/4 a chance to get it, and he and I have different mothers.
It's not that big of an issue, it's just more of an annoyance, but I'm curious as to what it could be?
TL;DR: |
r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU because I can't text while a drive.
POST: Yesterday, actually. I was driving down the highway in the middle lane when I notice that someone is going the exact same speed in the passing lane next to me. I look over and see two cute blonde girls trying to get my attention. The passenger used a marker to write a phone number on the window. It took a little while since the marker seemed to be dying. While this was happening, I notice that the traffic is piling up behind our two car road block. I punched in the number and sent a text just as they were taking an exit and I continued ahead. Apparently, I got the number wrong.
Now I'm kicking myself for not taking the time to follow them or at least being more diligent about getting the numbers right.
I'm hoping they see the missed connection post I put up on Craigslist (does anyone actually check those?).
TL;DR: |
r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By getting too drunk and missing a Skype date
POST: I've been living in Ireland for the past five months on a working holiday visa and my visa just expired so I decided to travel around Europe. Back at home I had a girl that I met and we've been fuck buddies since March and we were starting to turn into more. She luckily was studying in London for six weeks so we met a few times and things were going great but she's been gone for about 3 months.
I really haven't been doing too well mentally. I've been very homesick and depressed and have thought about killing myself on a few occasions. Alcohol has become a good personal friend of mine. I'm in Vienna and thought the best way to cope was to get really drunk. The problem was that me and my fuck buddy, let's call her M, agreed to talk on Skype. One litre turned into multiple pints and I was shit faced.
When the time came for when were gonna Skype, I texted her to see if she was ready. And by that I meant I sent a bunch of texts and I sent her a Skype video. I watched it and I said "Yo M pick this shit up. Love you babe." Here's the problem, we aren't officially dating. We haven't done a real "first date" yet. I've never told her I loved her.
I proceed to pass out and wake up the next morning and see what I did. I apologise profusely and told her to ignore that. I asked her to forgive me and she said "I just need to think about things." Guys I really fucked up. This girl means everything to me and I see us having a long and happy relationship together. I already hate myself and I don't need to have this fucked up too. Lesson learned, don't get drunk before you're supposed to Skype. Time to patch this shit up.
TL;DR: |
r/offmychest
TITLE: Just airing out, read if you like, if not, thanks anyways.
POST: Lately I've had people whom I used to be friends with for long times, trying to get back into contact with me and it made me start to think, why do I always cut everybody off. Most of the time I have good reasons, these "friends" just used me, for money, car rides, as back-up, as their imaginary boyfriend or bodyguard. So many times I've been scummed out and backstabbed, just made a fool. But I've also realized that I've started cutting people off for lesser reasons. I guess a lot of it is just being tired of the same FUCKING BULLSHIT STUPIDITY! You can only tell somebody something and talk to them and deal with their fucking emotional dramatic life for so fucking long, can I not find any group without just STUPIDITY! I can understand drama, I can, we all have it, but why do you all have to be so fucking STUPID! It feels like every single person's life just goes to shit, and after trying to help them and save them for so long I just say fuck it, and cut them off. And I've realized that lately I don't even want to get close with people, a select few, and that's it. It's just so depressing and annoying, and I guess that's one other reason I cut them all off, it doesn't really bother me until I start thinking about how lonely I am. But you know what, I've always been alone, always, I've been doing "friend" activities by myself since I was 10 years old, sure we all crave that societal "hug", but as an Ambivert, I can only take so much before I just want to drive off a cliff. Why, why ask me for advice, if you're NEVER GOING TO USE IT! Why waste my fucking breathe, why waste my time! And what gets me the most, is that no matter how much I put people before myself, no matter how much I go out of my way for them in EVERY SINGLE WAY, they always forget...until of course, they need help again.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My GF [18F] keeps bringing up her history with guys. I [19M] don't enjoy hearing about it one bit.
POST: We've been dating for a few months. Started out slow, seeing each other occasionally (our schedules are completely opposite so we don't have a lot of spare time together). We have had a bit of a rough history, being close to dating before but sort of drifted apart. Have always had a spark though.
Anyway, getting to the point of this. In the last few weeks, in general conversation she would bring up bits about her past with guys, like "that reminds me of this guy i had a thing with...", etc. It's usually just random little snippets of it in conversation, but the other night she just wouldn't stop talking about it, even when i was dropping hints that i wasn't impressed.
Later that night she texts me, and I tell her i wasn't comfortable hearing about that sort of stuff. She understood, admitting she kind of went off like how she talked to her girlfriends, and that she probably needs to learn when to shut up haha. I don't really get why she was telling me those things.
So yeah, just trying to get an outside perspective on this. If any more info is needed, i'm willing to provide. This is my first relationship and it's making me a bit anxious thinking about this sort of stuff.
TL;DR: |
r/Pets
TITLE: Older Littermates Recognizing One Another?
POST: Hey there, my girlfriend and I recently adopted an older cat, about 7 years of age. The cat that we chose was brought there by a couple whose living situation changed that wouldn't allow pets. The thing is they had two cats who were sisters. From time to time I get on the shelter's website to see what all they have available for fun and I see after 3-4 months after adopting, the sister cat has yet to be adopted (being older she is probably being overlooked).
Now my question is will the cats recognize each other after being separated for a few months now? It sounded like the two cats got along growing up and while at the shelter. I would like to reunite the two cats if I have the right opportunity when I move in a few months.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of 9 months, stuck in a hard position with the relationship (If it exists).
POST: Hi reddit,
Throwaway as I know people who lurk r/relationships.
A bit of back story. I met my girlfriend, Liz (not real name) while I was in senior school. We didn't start dating until I got into college, at the beginning of this year. Before we made the relationship official, we spent a bit of time together. Liz is currently in her final year of school. She is an amazing person and when we spend time together, it is great. We get along super well and I really like having her in my life.
However, over the past month or two a few problems have come up and I am struggling with how I can deal with them.
Firstly, Liz it quite shy and doesn't initiate sex. This doesn't bother me. However, what bothers me is the fact that we stay at each other's places and we don't have sex often because she either doesn't feel comfortable or isn't in the mood. When we do have sex it isn't anything special because she never seems into it or like she wants to be intimate with me. I have tried talking to her, but I'm not sure how to change this situation. I want to make her feel comfortable with me and I want to make sure she is enjoying herself.
Secondly, due to her being in her final school year, she doesn't have a lot of time to spend with me. I try to make plans in advance so she has time to finish off school work. When I ask if she wants to hang out she generally says 'Probably not,' or 'I will try.' This is starting to bug me. I would feel bad to drag her away from her studies, but at the same time, is it really too much to ask for one day a week to see her?
I guess I am not sure if she is excited to be dating me? And where I should go with this relationship? I really like her. She is a super cool chick and I have a lot of fun when I am with her. How can I fix these problems?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [28 M] ask her [27 F] to move across the world for me?
POST: She's Australian. I'm American. We met in the US last year. Instant connection.
We saw each other a few more times in the States before she went home. We kept talking. I visited Aus. She visited the states. I applied to grad school in her city. I got in! But then. . . I didn't go.
I decided that a program in the city I am currently in would be much better for my career, effectively short-circuiting this relationship. We had talked/ Skyped every day for a year in between the visits.
I'm at a loss. We are not 'exclusive' but recognize that this is something unique and we're in love. We've also both been around the block and recognize this doesn't come around that often.
She would move to the States if I asked her to. She has a transferable job and her family would support it. I'm just not sure I can handle that type of responsibility. If things go wrong I'd feel so guilty.
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: My friend is an asshole and uses people to his advantage. How do I deal with him
POST: He whines and calls us manipulative assholes when we keep secrets from him but when we ask him what he did last knight or even something little as what website do you find that on he says that its his life and he doesn't want to tell you. I've tried to rid of him and all he does is whines and talks shit about you. He also talks shit about anyone who doesn't have the same opinions as him. He takes every thing he knows about people and makes us turn our back on a guy he doesn't like. he is also not that great looking but thinks he is "all that"and goes for every girl he likes and makes us look shitty; he also calls us bad friends because we let him do that to him. How do I deal with him?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Why contact me at all? [Me 30F Him 35M]
POST: I dated "Bob" for about 7 years off and on but mostly on. We broke up last September (2012) after I was tired of being separated from his social life. I was devastated. I still miss him a little every day but in retrospect, although it was dramatic when it happened, leaving him was the right thing to do.
We spoke here an there over the past few months but nothing deep. I don't have his phone number because I deleted it every time he contacted me (always via text, never a call).
He has switched to Facebook messaging. Here and there a "Sup" or a "Hey" trying to engage me. I've been polite but more annoyed with each message.
Today he told me that he was dating someone and that she is my type and that they were playing with the idea of a threesome. He was wondering if I was interested.
...
I don't care that people have or want to have threesomes. I like the idea myself. However, I have a problem with my ex asking me to be in one with his new girlfriend.
Why contact me at all if he is dating someone and why ask me this question? What is there to accomplish?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Facebook official. I [F23] want it but [M24] thinks it's tacky and shallow... Is there a way to compromise?
POST: This is such a small issue I feel ridiculous even posting it. I'm a little embarrassed that this affects me to be honest. M24 and I have been together for about a year now.
I know that people have wildly different opinions on what it means to be Facebook official and whether or not it's necessary. To me though, it doesn't make any sense not to post it. My Facebook says where I live, where I went to high school, and what my favorite trashy tv shows are, so why wouldn't it say who my boyfriend is?
We have never outright discussed it but I heard him say towards the beginning of our relationship (in regards to a different couple) that he thought it was boring and stupid, which is kind of how he feels about social media in general. He also barely uses his FB and only has like >100 friends and almost never posts. All of his recent pictures are ones I've tagged with him.
I kind of just convinced myself I didn't need it for a while but recently we have made our relationship long distance as I've had to move for work. I'll be back at the end of next summer but we are living several time zones apart for now. Long distance sucks. The time difference sucks. Not being able to be with each other, go out together, and live in the same place is a tough adjustment, but we're getting through it.
Now that we are apart, I'd really like to change our status because I feel like it would help a little bit to feel closer. How can I bring this up to him? Is this something stupid and trivial? Is there a way to compromise, and does anyone have experience with one partner wanting it and the other partner not wanting it? I hate admitting that this is important to me but it is. At the same time, I care about my boyfriend and don't want to make him uncomfortable.
TL;DR: |
r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [30/f] Christmas presents from guy [37/m] first time we met up after meeting online. Weird?
POST: I met this guy online a few weeks ago and we've been texting/talking on the phone every day. Because of both of our out-of-town schedules for holidays, we weren't able to actually meet up until yesterday for coffee, and he brought Christmas presents for me AND for my son. By no means am I complaining, but something about that seems a little...fast to me.
He seems like a very nice guy and I'm not suggesting he has any ulterior motives or anything like that, but I've dated guys who tried to move too fast like they're in a hurry to get married and start a family and I wonder if that might be the case here. He also has already asked me about my son's father, if I wanted to have more children, etc. and has told me he's ready to settle down (which is fine, I am too and I appreciate being upfront about that kind of stuff rather than wasting time with someone who isn't interested in eventual marriage, I'm just throwing that fact in there for some background). My mom thinks it's odd but I figured I'd get some outside opinions too.
TL;DR: |
r/dating_advice
TITLE: I need help (inexperienced teen male)!!
POST: Im 15 (male,sophomore) and she is 14 (freshman), and during a slam poetry team get together on saturday I think I discovered that she likes me, and I obviously like her back. First I'm ging to outline why I think so: 1. She did the whole turn body to me thing multiple times even when talking to someone else. 2. She stayed close to me through out the whole day. 3. When talking about the host's creepy cat that liked me more than another boy she said that she could see why. 4. Of all the women I have told that I am in a movie, she is the most eager to see it and has been very vocal about it. 5. She complimented the way I dress upon multiple occasions. 6. She wants to write a poem with me. 7. Asked if we could be best friends when we first talked. 8. EMotes nearly every sentence with a smile at the end
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my gf [18 F] of 2 months, she feels no spark with me
POST: Let me break it down, for over 3 years i've been on and off crushing
on this girl, she would usually just be really friendly with me (really good friends) basically she
didnt want a relationship so I backed off, until recently when we started talking more and i noticed she hugged more etc seemed more interested.
i asked her out then and since then we've had issues where she feels
like im a great guy but she does not feel as attracted as she should be to me, she feels
like she does not deserve me. So i told her we'll just let it go on see what happens, let her feelings develop (she literally started to like me 3 days before i asked her out),
also we took a break from making out as she does not get too excited about it. I think she has some unrealistic expectations of herself and how she should feel around me. Is there anything i can do?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [18 M] never asks me [17 F] to hang out anymore
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 5 months, we were also on and off for 2 years before this because I wasn't that interested in him back then so I kept breaking up with him.
The first time he met me, he was already extremely obsessed with me which made me feel nice because he constantly asked me to hang out or come over to his house. We never did anything sexual until months and months after we started dating seriously so I know he isn't with me just for the sex.
About 5 months ago, I started falling crazily in love with him. However, it seemed to be the opposite for him. He never asks me to hang out or come to his house anymore. I'm always the one initiating plans. He always agrees to my plans but he never makes them. He also talks to me a little less.
I'm not sure what to do because I feel a little hurt and unappreciated. I've asked him many times why he doesn't ask me out and he just says that he's busy with work, gym and his friends. Which is true, I'm aware of the things he does when he's not with me, and tells me to ask him out instead. He also says that it's because he's too comfortable with me. But we've only been together for a bit over an year, if he's like this now I can't imagine what our future together is going to be like. What should I do ? Is he not interested in me anymore?
TL;DR: |
r/personalfinance
TITLE: Hey guys and gals. I have a question concerning debt vs. money in the bank when applying for an auto loan.
POST: So I'm a recently graduated 24 year old who is slowly digging his way out of a pile of shitty debt. I made some dumb mistakes with credit cards, and then got nailed with student loans. Currently I'm $40k in debt with student loans and $6k in credit card debt. On the bright side I've recently taken a job making right around $55k gross, so I'm starting to work more heavily on paying off these debts.
I've currently got about $3300 in my bank account, with 500 as a car maintenance fund, 500 as a small start to an emergency fund, $300 in checking, and the other $2000 in a savings account. I literally just used $1800 of my tax refund to pay off one credit card, so the liquid cash level took a small hit.
My monthly expenses are as such:
* Rent- $500
* Utilities/Internet- $120
* Daycare (my portion)- $300
* Current car/insurance- $300
* Combined Credit Card Payments- $600
* Financed furniture- $150
* Cell phone bill- $50
My monthly income is right around $2700.
As I've recently gotten engaged to my girlfriend who has a three year old, I'm in desperate need of a new car that's not a coupe. My credit score at the moment is sitting at a terrible 605, but I'm assuming that considering I just (as in tonight) paid off one of my cards my score may go up in the next week or so. Finally to the reason we are here: should I use the other $2k in the bank to pay off another card or should I leave the $2k in the bank. Or does it even matter considering the debt disparity there? I plan to purchase the new (to me) car within the next month or so, which is why I'm so concerned. Any constructive advice/criticism or information would be so, so welcome! Thanks so much!
TL;DR: |
r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/f] Aromantic Asexual just out of denial really unsure of how to approach friend [19/m] about my platonic feelings for him
POST: I guess the best thing to start with is to explain what Aromantic Asexual means. *I don't feel any sort of sexual or romantic attraction to anybody, no matter their sex, gender, or physical attractiveness.* I can tell you that somebody is good looking, but I don't want sex or romance out of it.
And basically, I've gotten myself into trouble in relationships because I couldn't be clear about what that means (I was kinda in denial for quite a bit because I grew up reading the books where there's always some sort of romantic plot or someone getting all hot and bothered about somebody else). I've tried having boyfriends. I even had a girlfriend once. But each relationship ended the same way: there was an expectation of something more than I could feel towards these people, making me feel guilty because I wanted my feelings towards them to be what was expected, but they just weren't. And honestly, I'm a scaredy cat who has a hard time speaking up about what I want.
And, well, the strongest platonic feelings I've felt towards anybody are towards one of my current friends. Luckily, I've gotten the denial out of my system (meaning I'm not going to go fuck up by going in with expectations I can't meet), but that also means that I have zero experience with the type of relationship I want out of this friend, and he is aware of my final experimental relationship where I tried to force myself to not be Aromantic and Asexual (don't do denial, guys, it's not healthy).
But now I'm left with nothing to go on. There's not really any sort of social script for people who identify as Asexual and Aromantic. The few characters in the media that are portrayed as like me are either set up to be 'fixed' or they're considered freaks, so I'm basically making this up as I go along.
So I was wondering if anybody had any advice on what I should do to approach my friend. I kinda want to have some form of exclusive platonic relationship with him, but I have no idea where to start.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Internet Strangers, Please Help This [23 M]an, [20 W]ith This Situation
POST: Hello one, Hello all! Your feedback would be dearly appreciated. Met a girl last week. She was a cashier, asked for her number to contact her later. She gave me the number and mentioned we should get together, fantastic!
But then She Wouldn't text me back for the longest time, saying she was busy etc. She lives on an animal farm, so it is likely. But, I naturally called her and asked her out because I am attracted to her and wanted to find out more. She said that sounds good...awesome.
So, I am texting her, just a bit before the date, nothing overboard or ridiculous. I am getting nothing. So, I call her the day before we agreed to go out and she seemed nervous and excited and everything.
Great, so we go on the date, a little awkward at first but we started laughing and having fun by the end of it, got to know each other more. Tried to kiss her, said she doesn't kiss after the first date...fine and dandy.
However, she hasn't returned either of my two texts since this date and I am wondering if I should let it go or try and persist later on this week? I am into her but it is so difficult to walk that "Is this guy a creeper?," and the "No, I am actually just into you," line. Lol
Probably going to get a lot of let it go, don't be a sucker. Yeah, I know I actually have another little get together set up for tomorrow (hadn't been on a date in a while and now I have two this week.) But, what do you think?
TL;DR: |
r/personalfinance
TITLE: Feel like I'm being taken advantage of, how do I approach boss?
POST: Last summer I needed a pharmaceutical related internship to build my resume. My neighbor, one that our family isn't particularly close to, is a director of HR at a pharma packaging company. He hooked me up at 12 an hour. Upon showing up to my first day, every member of the quality department was surprised to see an intern as they had never had one before. I was told this company hires many interns per year in every department. Red flag number one. They started me full time at 12/hour, something that I wasn't going to argue with considering I was under the impression it was an internship. The company, however, hired me as an employee rather than an intern. Nonetheless, I have the same responsibilities as every other Quality Inspector and have been trained equally. I perform the same exact duties as these individuals. Red flag number 2.
Fast foward. I took a hiatus, which was expected by the company, to finish up a year of school. Now I'm back at said company and they have me performing the same exact duties. I spoke to some other QA's and they are getting paid 25/hour plus.
That being said, I feel like my neighbor is taking advantage of me and labeling me as an "intern" so they can pay me half as much while maintaining the same level of responsibility as every other member of the quality department. He mentioned a minor pay increase (1-2$) when I start full time in the summer as I'm doing part time right now since my course load isn't substantial. Does anyone have any thoughts on the situation?
TL;DR: |
r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm a [33M] (full time single dad] dating a [31F] not too much of a social life is it ok to be almost always available?
POST: I have been dating her almost 2 months, totally falling in love. We are taking it slow i've met some of her friends and they are all awesome. I have awesome friends but a lot have moved away and then the people I mainly partied with were all close to my ex and after I broke up i found that I don't have a big friend circle. I have my buddies I do a game night with every tuesday one of which is a guy i make music with and hang out with a lot. But that's most of it just me hanging out with this one dude who i've known forever. I'm trying to branch out and i've always been good at making friends its just a strange time in my life right now.
Maybe she doesn't care that i don't have a local 'tribe' perse, but only that i can get along with hers and am fun to be around.
Do i need to open up a conversation about this with her?
I'm trying to reconnect with people i've had friendships with in the past but at this age many people seem like they don't have space in there lives. I'm planning on learning to code and going to a boot camp and switching careers and i'm sure i'll make new friends there.
I do value more intimate friendships and like my best friend i spend a lot of time with. Its just also that her friends are all successful and my buddy and myself are just not. I am really inspired to make coding work and to continue a relationship with her
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my bf [26 M] 1.5 yrs , he rather stay unemployed or fake a resume than keep a job that makes <$25/hour.
POST: I have no degree and make around 11/hr in an industry where I can move up, I don't completely hate my job, and most importantly it pays the bills.
He has a b.a. in biology and has been fired from every job he's had for negligence (repeatedly late, not making deadlines, ect.)
He usually finds jobs though staffing agencies in offices or call centers, but hates this kind of work and has quit/been fired by said negligence after a few weeks-month.
He recently became interested in IT, and being a software tester. But he doesn't want to start at entry level payment, so he went as far as to build a completely fake resume, get offered a job for $60,000 a year, then be upset when they do a background check and he can't prove he has the 7+ years of fake experience he put on it.
I'm at my wits end. I try to be supportive, but he is content coasting, asking his parents for rent money, and complaining about how most people are working jobs they hate and he wants more than that. I mean I agree, but that's life right? Working a 9-5 to save a little money would make sense, to me.
We are starting to have serious issues because I refuse to pay for his food and fun, so he can't go out to eat with me, or go to the movies, or do anything that isn't free.
TL;DR: |
r/dating_advice
TITLE: Opinions on long-ass conversations please.
POST: This is a follow up from
Okay, so my one friend had added her on skype before term ended and told me after i'd been drooling all over him while talking about her that actually, she does use it from time to time and would ask if she had my request.
turns out that, for whatever reason, it hadnt gone through :|
So i resent a request and it was accepted almost immediately: Good sign. Now, this was about 5 days ago and we have already had three, 6 hour conversations which is also a good sign that she likes me in 'that' sense. Right?
Thats what im here to ask about, you see we can't say mcuh in our conversations since shes both heavily dyslexic and english is her second language, which results in such jems as "I likke flaying pipol, tha saw kull" (actual quote), turns out she means "i like flying people(referring to angels), they're so cool". So a lot of time is spent translating on-another, which results in these long conversations that go on into the wee wee hours of the morning. Also, it seems its me that does most of the talking as it turns out shes Really, incredably shy.
But despite this, we enjoy our conversations and appear to get on well. My question is, is just having long skype conversations a stable enough platform for me to make the next move? She has given no indication of liking me in 'that' way yet and i'm wondering if theres anyway to decode actions as words.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] suspect my boyfriend [27 M] is potentially cheating on me already with his [Update]
POST: Original post:
There's also things that just seem a little out of the ordinary. He has his friends list hidden from his Facebook, so no one can see who his friends are and when he adds someone. Surely no one would do this unless they have something to hide right? He is currently away at the moment, and we were speaking on Facebook chat and before he moves places hes staying he turns off his location settings. He is fairly protective of his phone and it is always on silent. Writing all this out seems a little stupid and I probably didn't explain it to the best of my ability, and i'm thinking my past relationship has just really made it hard for me to trust people again.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] kissed my first girl [19F] while out with some friends from the other side of the country.
POST: So I was on the other side of England with some friends I know from playing games online. We went out to a beer/cider festival with some of their friends from college, most of whom I had never met before. Me and this girl start chatting away, and by that time it was getting a bit dark and the volume of the band was ramping up, so we decided to go for a walk around the rugby pitch.
At the other end of the rugby pitch the fact I had never kissed a girl came up, and she brought up the fact her mum had recently died. Then she asked me to kiss her. I wasn't too thrilled about it, but she seemed into it and I went along with it. I cut it off before it got too far, and went back to the rest of the party. I'm starting to feel like I just squandered my first kiss, and I'm pretty pissed off about it.
Maybe I over romanticised the whole idea of a first kiss, but I can't shake the feeling I just wasted it on somebody I don't even know and won't ever see again. And I didn't even enjoy it.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: I (22f) am having trouble getting over ex, (23m)
POST: We dated for a year and a half and it ended because I got pregnant and he didn't want a child. I had an abortion and told him I had a miscarriage. I started dating someone else in Sep of 2011 and in June of 2012 I had a fling with my ex. I decided it wasn't going to go anywhere so I broke it off with my ex, and told me current SO. My SO and I are working through this, but I can't seem to get over my ex completely. There are things that always remind me of him, and now that my ex has a child with his new girlfriend, it's making me all sorts of crazy. Was I not good enough? Why not me??
And seeing him and his new girlfriend in town is making me very depressed and anxious.
Should I break it off with my current SO? I need to get out of town so I don't have to deal with the ex.
I am completely lost.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with a guy [19 M] I've been seeing for a month. He's leaving for the military in September, do I have any chance?
POST: Background: Tom and I met at a party a month ago, hooked up, and have been really into each other ever since. We've already spent so much time together and we're almost the same person.
I never catch feelings for anyone & I get bored often, but he's the first guy I've ever been able to see myself with long-term. Naturally, I'm not very connected with my feelings, especially with dating, but something about him has made me really open up. I've never been in an official relationship before.
The problem: He's leaving for the military September 1st until mid-December. There is a strong possibility he'd be deployed at some point. Again, not really an emotional person, but I'm gonna be crushed when he leaves. If he was never leaving, we would definitely be in a relationship when we were ready.
I look at him and see so many qualities every girl dreams a guy will have, and I'm lucky enough to be with him now. Is there any possibility that staying together is realistic? On one hand, people can change in that long of a span, and training for the military is a huge adjustment for anyone. I'm going into my second year of college. On the other hand, is it foolish to let something so great just dissolve because of circumstance? Am I being naive and foolish to think it could ever work?
Just wanted some opinions, and maybe some insight from someone in a similar situation. Thank you.
TL;DR: |
r/offmychest
TITLE: Two months down the drain
POST: Hey guys,
Just really need to vent about this. Basically, I was at a super crappy job. Found a different job, put in my two weeks, and everything went smoothly. From ~February 27th until April 18th, I stopped smoking marijuana to clean myself up and ensure I could pass a piss test. Before, I smoked about 2-3 times a week. I got a job that didn't require a test on March 20th, but I still didn't smoke again in case I ended up leaving (which I did, because it was even worse than the last job and I had enough money to hold me over for a few weeks until I found something else). On April 18th (my birthday) I went to a concert with some friends and they convinced me to smoke with them before the show started. It was great then, but in hindsight I'm really kicking myself in the ass now. Today, I just heard back from a job I've been really interested in, and they want to interview me next Monday. My friend who referred me said they will certainly piss test. I'm freaking out now because I put all that effort into cleaning myself up and one night could potentially ruin things for me. It doesn't help that I'm starting to feel the crunch of not having an income, so I need to start working again ASAP. On top of this, I'm absolutely bombarded at university right now with exams, papers, and finals in a few weeks. I just have this sinking feeling that I will fail the urine test and be out of a potentially awesome job that pays very well (for a college student). I don't expect people to pity me, and I realize my mistake. I'm just really looking back on that night and regretting it now.
TL;DR: |
r/loseit
TITLE: [F/21/5'2] Hit a plateau, needing advice.
POST: I started at 131 pounds 2 months ago. Since then I've lost around 10 pounds & have been hovering around 120-122 for about 2 1/2 weeks. My BMR is 1370, and I consume around 1100 calories a day. Days I run or do pilates I consume an extra allotted amount of calories.
My problem is I don't know how to break this plateau. Things are the things I've tried.
* cutting down to 800/day
* giving my muscles a break from exercise
* completely cut out all alcohol
* drinking more water
I got an idea to maybe up my calories to around 1500-1600 for a few days and then drop back down to my normal calorie limit to see if it might jump start it, but I struggle to eat 1100 calories a day as it is. I'm just at a loss on what to do & wonder if anyone might have some advice for me.
TL;DR: |
r/jobs
TITLE: I haven't been able to find a job and my mom is threatening to cut me off. What do I do?
POST: I go to college about two hours away from my home town, which is small and works very much by the "it's all about who you know" rule. I haven't been able to find a job this summer, though I have literally applied to every job I'm qualified for, and now my mom is threatening to cut off my phone service (which is counter productive wince we don't have a traditional land line) on Friday if I can't work something out.
On top of all of this, I signed a lease for an apartment that I thought my student aide would pay for, but as it turns out my dad hit that frustrating point where he makes enough to disqualify me for aide, but not enough to actually pay for anything.
I'm scared and stressed and I have no idea what I'm going to do. Is there anything I can do to get a job immediately, or am I just totally screwed?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My [31 F] partner [33 M] of 3 years cheated on me with a mutual friend. Not sure how to handle.
POST: My [31 F] partner [33 M] of 3 years cheated on me with a mutual friend. They were both drunk and hanging out with other people on the beach. They ended up alone and flirting with each other, then making out. It did not go beyond kissing and he said he stopped it from going further.
He told me the next day and said it was a mistake and would never happen again. I believe it won't, but it did happen. I am worried I will not be able to get over it. I know he was caught in the moment, but I am still hurt and confused. I don't want to give up on things, but I don't really know how to build on something so hurtful.
TL;DR: |
r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by potentially losing my dream job.
POST: I received the letter regarding an interview for a position for a company that I've revered since high school. Leading up to the interview I've quit smoking weed in preparation of a drug test. I went to the interview and in my opinion, I bombed horribly. I got lightheaded the moment the interview started and all the answers that I've prepared for went right out the window. Judging by the expressions of the interviewers, they just wanted to go to lunch since my interview was scheduled at 11. I left the interview with a very low morale and convinced that I blew my chances of getting my dream job.
Three weeks have passed with no word and I've lost all hope, so on Saturday my friends come over and we started playing destiny and sparked a few blunts (this was the first time I've smoked weed in 2 months). When all of a sudden the fedex man knocked on the door holding a thick envelope with the distinguishable logo of my dream company. I immediately ripped the envelope and along with a company t-shirt I got a letter essentially saying after much consideration and over hundreds of candidates, I got the fucking job! I ran into the house and started celebrating with my friends. Then on queue, an attached page fell on the floor regarding a required criminal background check and drug/alcohol test in 4 days. My heart sank and here comes the panicking.
So I'm currently sitting here at my current job chugging gallons of water and cranberry juice just hoping that by tomorrow at 12:30, I'll miraculously be able to squeeze out some clean piss. I took a home test last night and it came out positive. fml
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [19 M] of 4 years, I kind of hope that cliche rom-com story where "boy and girl who are friends since birth grow up and inevitably fall in love with each other" doesn't actually happen...
POST: I wouldn't be this insanely jealous if back when we were about 14 years old you hadn't tried to make me jealous all the time with every little thing. I understand you were insecure, but so was I and I didn't throw all the guys that I knew in your face like 'Ha! I'm pretty and he likes me so be careful'.
But honestly, of ALL the girls you could have chosen to make me jealous with at the time you chose the girl you had the MOST history with?! Stacy with the long black hair and though she might've been an 'ugly duckling' at the time has now blossomed into some very pretty and intelligent Nursing Major-who would make it easier to hate if she had any mean bone in her body- but No, she's as sweet as the cute dimple on her cheek.
I know it was only that ONE time in 9th grade you said "We slept in the same bed"(so innocently, because you dropped from exhaustion). And I know you say "She's just a family friend". And I KNOW "we grew up together". But that doesn't stop the ugly gut feeling in the pit of my stomach when I hear your families go away on family vacations together. Away for 3 days where the scenery and area and timing is set up for the most romantic get away in the world and I'm left here with the ugliest ideas running through my head.
I know I shouldn't be jealous. You've assured me so many times. Our history together has written it all, how you love me so unconditionally and don't want to be with anyone else. I'm your best friend and favorite person in the world, but I can't help it. They were(in HER words) "born to be friends". If your families have spent every holiday and celebration at each other's homes since you were kids, and if you two have so much history that I could never really know about, how can I compare?
*Name changed for privacy purposes
TL;DR: |
r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: As a straight woman is it common to feel discriminatory against straight men?
POST: F/23/straight/atheist
I am seeing a pattern as I try to become more current with news and science. The things troubling me most are what I have learned about religion and sexuality in relation to (straight)men.
I have never had trouble with my own sexuality. My parents and school educated me about sexuality in an open and scientific format. As I became a young adult sexuality was a larger part of politics and I wanted to know why certain things were a debate (homosexual & transsexual rights, stem cell research, abortion).
I started to educated myself on the science of the issues. Why are stem cells being researched, and what are the potential benefits? How are homosexuals different from straight people (biologically)? How are transgender people different than homosexuals (again biologically)?
I began to have stronger and stronger beliefs in regards to women, homosexual, and transsexual rights. When I educated myself more about the politics rather than the science I could see it was religious issues that effected women/transsexual/homosexual rights. I started to wonder, if religion had never happened, would access to abortion and birth control still be an issue? If religion had never happened, would homosexuals and transsexuals still have limited rights and resources?
I bring up all these points because everything I have learned so far casts men in a terrible light. Men have predominantly lead Christianity and religion throughout history, leading to men predominantly leading politics. Further, most violent crimes are committed by men. Most serial killers are men. Most child molesters and pedophiles are men.
I don't want this to be a big (straight)man hating post. I have met plenty of good, kind men in my life. I know not all men are the same. My questions are: Is it common in a young women's life to catch onto these issues and become dismayed? Is it common to have negative feeling towards men in general (without personal history of abuse/assault)? I know it's not right, but I do feel discriminatory towards men. I'm not sure I can move forward from what I have learned so far with a positive or even open attitude towards straight men.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me[15M] and Her[15F] [Both shy]
POST: I have a problem. I have known this girl for three years and we both go in the same class. We have not talked so much to each other for the first two years. In the last year I tried to talk to her as much as I could.
She is a bit shy, good looking and is really good at drawing. I am a bit shy too but not as much.
On the graduation day, we sat beside each other and talked very much to each other. We both smiled, laughed and had a good time.
After the graduation there was a party. We talked very little to each other. I am still a bit unsure if she likes me though.
Now when it is holiday, we do not see each other. I do not have her phone number or knows where she lives. The only thing I have is her Twitter account and the website where she posts her art. I thought about asking her out or something like that via Twitter (Sounds stupid, but it may work). I don't know what I should write or what I should do.
I know she is the one and I might never see her again. What do I do?
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the most badass thing you have ever done in your life?
POST: I'll start.
To set the scene, it is a Friday night in Manhattan, and me and some of my college buddies have just consumed an eighth of shrooms each, my first time ever trying them. We decide to take a walk up to Central Park from our dorm on 10th Street.
We stop and have a seat on the steps of St. Patrick's Cathedral on 5th Ave to take a break and enjoy the visuals. Just at that moment, a stretch Hummer limousine turns around the corner onto 5th a few blocks up. Hanging out of the windows and skylights are a gaggle of young women screaming wildly and having a grand old time.
Without even thinking, I stand up and start chasing after them. I'm screaming "I love you all!", alternating between beating my hand on my chest to imitate my heart beating for them and blowing them kisses. While I'm doing this, I'm running into traffic on 5th Ave, holding my other palm up behind me to signal STOP to the cars/taxis I ran in front of so they don't run me over. The girls are eating this shit up, and screaming even louder now.
I catch up to the limo just as it is slowing down to make a right hand turn, and I see that the back window is open and unobstructed. I put my hands up over my head, and perform a perfect dive into the window, flipping in the air, and landing on my back inside.
I look around and I'm surrounded by blue neon lights and about 20 or so young women in party dress. There is a moment of dead silence, and all eyes are on me. The first words that my shroom addled mind can think to say are "I'm sorry if I scared you, I'm tripping really hard right now". Then, the screams start again, but they are not screams of pleasure as before. The driver hears, and pulls over to the side of the street and comes around to open the door. He opens it, and I just waltz on out as if nothing happened, rejoining my dumbstruck friends.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] of two months, need advice on how to accept her friendship with her ex.
POST: Hey! First post here.
So, my GF broke up with her ex of 2,5 years about 8 months ago. I know she is over him, and that she just wants to hang out with him as a friend (their relationship was horrible at the end, but they agreed to break up, with no hard feelings).
Still, I can't relax about it, as this is my first serious relationship. I am not going to deny her hanging out with him, as I trust her completely. Yes, we have talked about it, and she told me the story of their break-up, and told me that she really enjoy our relationship, and that after all, she is with me.
So, guys! What can I do to accept this? I want to learn to live with it, as this is just my mind playing with me.
TL;DR: |
r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Need advice about being friends with women
POST: I've been trying to find the best subreddit to ask this question, and I'm hoping this one works out. I have been thinking a lot lately about the types and kinds of people I relate to best and enjoy being around, and the response keeps coming up that I enjoy hanging out with women best.
A little background, I am a 27 year old male, grew up in the rural US on a farm and was homeschooled the majority of my childhood. I have one older brother, and despite being a male growing up on a farm there was a split in chores. My brother enjoyed being outside more and therefore spent all his time with my dad out on the farm. I enjoyed being inside more, and therefore spent time inside with my mom. Therefore, I enjoy cooking, baking, sewing, and a slew of other activities that many people are quick to label "feminine" activities. Being homeschooled didn't allow me to socialize much, except with my family and my mother's female friends when she would go out to lunch and socialize.
This leads me to today. I have caught up a lot on socialization with my own age group, and am now married to a wonderful woman. However, I find that I enjoy socializing more with women and would prefer to have female friends. This doesn't click for most people, because "You're straight, you must have ulterior motives." So that's my struggle, and I'm looking for some advice or a kind word. I know I can't be alone in this, but it sure feels like it. Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: [Update] Me [27 M] with my Wife [26F] I washed her childhood stuffed animal and destroyed it
POST: Original [here](
TEDDY LIVES!!!
Teddy is patched up and he's clean! Seriously, thank you everyone that offered to help out. The fact that so many anonymous people on the internet were that invested in helping out my pregnant wife was amazing. She got him back over the weekend from her family friend and he looks great!
We also got her on some new prenatal vitamins that don't have iron in them so she is feeling less sick all the time, so that's good too. I'm taking a half day to take my wife to the Doctor for our first ultrasound later today.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Is it wrong for me [20y M] to consider leaving my GF [20y F] if she Didn't Want to have Sex Till Marriage?
POST: ok i know it seams like the classic douche-bag move, and that all i want from this person is sex BUT hear me out
sex isnt the only thing i want in a relationship, hell is not even the biggest thing, things like trust, companion, romance, compatability etc. all rank much higher on the list
but i think if my gf tells me that she doesnt want to have sex with me till marriage, i think i would leave her. This is because if stay with her, (and this goes for anybody whos stuck in a relationship where one person wants to wait till marriage and the other doesnt) one of two things will happen:
1) the person willing to have sex will resent the person who isnt for it. and in the end will lead to a painful relationship and an eminent break up
or
2) the person who wants to have sex will find another person willing...
for me i think #1 would happen. we have only been dating for 4 months and things have never gotten even remotely sexual or intimate so i dont know how it will go
yeterday i told her through text that it be nice to NAP with her and she kinda freaked out and told me i should know things arent gonna move that fast
im her first bf and shes my second gf (my ex and i had sex) and i would be willing to wait for her within reason.
TL;DR: |
r/relationship_advice
TITLE: religion in relationships
POST: my girlfriend is really stressing religion as a part of our relationship even tho she knows that i am not religious. i havent gone to church and never really planned on it just because i didnt think it was something that i personally needed to help me find my way through my life. i tried to explain to her that we would be ok together because im fine with religion but just didnt see it being something i enjoyed or would take advantage of. she has demanded that i go with her a couple of times and i have refused because i feel like that would be insulting to religion to go if im as much of a non believer as i feel i am. dont get me wrong there are of course times of desperation where i have talked to god. anyway this came up again and she basically just told me that i was getting up at 9 tommorow so that i could get ready and go with her she even told me exactly what to wear. i still dont want to go with her, but lately we have been kind of arguing and i know shes been mad at me and things are just starting to get back to normal so since i dont want things to go bad again i just went along with her plans. i understand her wanting me to go at least once but i wish she would have just let me make the decision about going. am i making to big of a deal out of this? she told me once before that she felt like religion could make or break our relationship. maybe things arent meant to work out for us. i really dont know what to do or say to her about this because i already said something about her making me go and she said that i shouldnt be thinking of it as a bad thing. any advice anyone can offer for my dilema would be appreciated
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my [22 F] girlfriend, having feelings about her previous S.O.
POST: First post on reddit.
I've been with my girlfriend for about 2.5 months officially, we were seeing each other for a couple of weeks before hand. She went to study abroad for fall semester last year and had a thing with a guy (about our age) there and were very close and continued to be an 'item' long distance for 7 months after she cam back to the states. She was still talking to him a tiny bit when we started dating but nothing really romantic, but it was obviously unhealthy for all 3 of us so I told her to not talk to him for a few months (she still wanted to be friends with him).
So she didn't speak to him for ages, fast forward to about a week ago when she asked if we could do something separate for the afternoon as we've been spending a lot of time together and she's been working a lot, I agree (fyi we don't live very close so we spend a lot of time together when we do). I came back and I accidentally found she had messaged this guy (nothing romantic) but I spoke to her about it and she confessed she misses him and still loves him (fyi they can't be together bc of religion and different values etc)
I was sad and confused at first, but I sort of accepted it because I realized we had gone into things quite fast and I missed and sort of still loved my ex from my previous relationship 2 months after we broke up. I went back to live at home the day after (previously planned, not because what had happened) and this week she's not been talking to me as much, not saying she misses/loves me as much as she usually would and yesterday night I mention it and she says she's been struggling with how she feels about the other guy.
Should I be worried or am I not being sympathetic? Nothing else in our relationship has been bad recently, we work great together and are comfortable to speak about the future (this coming christmas) and have gone quite fast into our relationship. I understand the feelings she's getting because I got them too but I was still single, I can't help but think being with me would only help her get over him.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: I'm 27m feeling guilty about a crush 23f
POST: Self explanatory up top.
I'm (27m) in a serious relationship (2.6 years) with my lovely girlfriend 25f but I have a crush on this girl 23f at work. We seem to always make eye contact and say or wave hi to each other in a bashful shy manner. We'll talk every now and then but not in-depth cause I don't want it to go any further than that. our conversations are pretty short and feel awkward on my end cause I try not to flirt and also cause I'm generally awkward around cute girls. I'm confused on how I feel and I feel bad that I have a crush on this girl.
What should/can I do?
TL;DR: |
r/Parenting
TITLE: How do you keep your kid's interest in science alive in the public school system?
POST: My kid loves science and has started kindergarten in a public school. I've got a friend whose kids are in a private school, and I've heard about the fun and elaborate science projects that they're doing as part of their science curriculum - building a car in Grade 1, building a heart and lung model in Grade 4 etc. I didn't grow up in North America and have no experience with the schools here, but I have the feeling that my kid won't get the chance to do all those fun science projects at her public school.
We can't afford private school, and I have a very demanding job so I don't have a lot of time to do science with her on the side. At the same time, I don't want her to lose that interest in science, and want to nurture it.
Has anyone gone through this? What kinds of difficulties will I face, and what can I do? Can you please share your experience and advice?
I've been lurking here for a while, but this is my very first post. Please be gentle. :)
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: [22M,20F] Should I be upset he doesn't want to see me for our six month?
POST: Throwaway because he knows my regular username. I'm spending my current university quarter interning about 4-5 hours away from school. My past couple relationships were both short term, emotionally abusive, and took a toll on my self esteem, and my current SO is my first after a long break from dating.
Two weeks from now is our six month and the weekend before is a a major event for our University. I was planning on returning for that, but my SO says he plans on going home that weekend to visit his family. I asked him to go home the coming weekend or the one after instead (he lives 40 min away), and he said maybe. I brought it up again yesterday and he said he was tired, so I let the subject drop. Tone and intuition says it's a likely a no but he doesn't want to argue.
My best friend says I should be upset that he isn't willing to change weekends, especially because it's our six month, and that I'm being a doormat again (I rarely argue with anyone). I don't know; It's not an actual anniversary and I admittedly visited and JUST saw him this past weekend because it was the first term weekend. Still, I don't know when I'll visit again after this bc of distance and work and it does hurt me some.
What does reddit think? He's honestly been really good to me and I don't want to come off clingy and demanding. He isn't going home for anything special, just a visit, and its the first "LDR" for both of us.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: I (19/F) found that my SO (21/M) might be dating his ex yet. Should I confront him?
POST: Ok, before the answer is *Obviously, yes* let me explain.
Some time ago I add this friend of a friend on Facebook. He writes cool stuff, but we never talk much. One day he decided to actually come and talk to me and then in the first days we became friends. And more and more intimate with each passing day, which resulted in a fast connection. We used to talk for a long time every day because he lives in a state next to mine, but I planned to travel to see him soon. I've always had problems with attachment and I was happy to finally be able to begin to connect with someone again. Everything looked apparently perfect (or almost).
He had told me about a longterm relationship he was over with a very jealous and obsessive girlfriend, which for a long time didn't accept the breakup. He stated that they were still friends - *what I found very strange.*
One day I found her profile by his likes and I saw several things that indicated that they are still together (photos that he took, comments from his relatives, etc). I'm not exactly monogamous, I've had several open relationships and I wouldn't mind if he hang out with someone. The big problem is that he **believes** in monogamy and that he isn't seeing "anyone else" but his obsessive ex-girlfriend, which I doubt from the bottom of my heart that is just a friend. It hurts a lot because he's not being truthful with me nor with his own romantic options/lifestyle.
What should I do? Should I confront him even though we don't have anything serious?
TL;DR: |
r/dating_advice
TITLE: How does this [28M] not go too fast with this [25F]?
POST: So i'm pretty inexperienced at the whole dating thing. I was a pretty less than confident guy, until recently when i got myself in better shape (and i guess i wouldnt say im extremely confident now, still working on it). This means ive never really been in a relationship this late in my 20s.
Anyways, so there's this friend of mine, ive known her for several years now, since college. There's always been quite a bit of flirting\closeness between us (to the point where people have thought i was dating her more than once), but i never pursued it due to said lack of confidence and the fact that for most of the time i've known her she's been in a relationship.
She became single a few months back, and upon finding out i decided i had to do something about the fact that i've been attracted to her for a long time. Over the last few weeks when her busy schedule (and our slight distance) has allowed we've hung out (but not gone on any real dates, her schedule makes it difficult) a few times. Those times have ended with us curled up together, with some kisses, and her sleeping over when it was at my place (though it didnt go beyond just sleeping together in the same bed cuddled up that night). We've been texting almost constantly every night.
I'm taking her out to dinner soon, but what i really need is advice on next steps. I'm pretty sure i know how i feel about her, but i dont want to be 'over-exuberant' about things and blow it.
TL;DR: |
r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU: by going to the doctor
POST: TIFU: by going to the doctor
Okay, so two days ago, I was cleaning my ears with q-tips, and suddenly my right ear got plugged. I thought maybe it will just go away. But not so much luck.
So today I went to the doctor to have them look at it. They said there was some wax in there and they would get it out. Okay, great. So a nurse come and fills up my ear with this stuff to soften the wax and says she'll be back in ten minutes. So I wait.... and wait.... and wait. After about fifteen or so minutes I start calling out "hello?" every now and again. Twenty minutes and still nobody. It was at least a half hour before someone finally came to flush out my ear. After having a squirt bottle stuck in my ear twice to flush it out, it plugged my ear even more. They sent the doctor back in to look at it again and she wrote me a prescription for antibiotic ear drops. I get home and my mom tells me that i probably don't need the drops and should see a specialist. -.- great. So now i have to spend even more time I don't have to waste at another doctor office.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: The girl ( 18F ) who suposedly liked me ( 18M ) , just kissed another guy ( 17M ) at a party yesterday, I'm broken.
POST: So i met this girl 2 months ago and we've been talking ever since, mostly through facebook. We have everything in common, and she just seems like the perfect girl.
We've gone out a bunch of times but always with her friends , and I am kind of a shy guy, so I didn't want to kiss her in front of them, i was waiting for the right time for us to be alone, but never got the chance.
She told me she liked me alot and I told her the same. She was the first girl who aproached me after my ex broke up a 2 year old relationship with me about 5 months ago.
I grew to like this girl so very much, and yesterday at a party where we all got drunk, she kissed another guy who she had a month relationship with, about 4 months ago. He was trying to force her to kiss him and she was pushing him away cause she knew i was right behind them, but eventually she gave up and went outside with him and i followed, for a cigarrete and to check on them, and she was grabbing him all over..
Needless to say I felt heart broken and left the party early, and as soon as I got home i deleted her from facebook as I was so upset. I lost my phone so theres no way for her to contact me, or vice-versa.
I feel like something has been ripped apart from me, as she seemed like the one who would finally get me over this break up, and because of her I got over it, but now I am heartbroken..
I was at school today finishing my last works and 2 of her girl friends were there. They said she cried later in the night, and I don't really know why, maybe it was because she regretted, but I'm not really sure, I didn't ask either..
I don't really know what to do, I feel helpless, what should i do?
Thank you so much for your help and sorry if my english is not that good, not my native language <3
TL;DR: |
r/personalfinance
TITLE: How much to trust pension for when planning for retirement? (USA)
POST: Hi all, I am in a local building trades union for the last ten years, and I have no intention of leaving, but when I started ten years ago we were taking so many apprentices we had to share desks and the classes were full every day. Now, they hardly ever even have classes as there is not a lot of work.
So, is my pension protected by anything at all or if the union fails during my lifetime or I am SOL? I have a separate 401k which I am 100% vested and my own Roth IRA, I know they are mine to manage and gain/lose, but the pension is handled by the Union and I rarely get any kind of statement. I think its worth about 60-70k.
TL;DR: |
r/dating_advice
TITLE: I [25M] Don't want to lose hope [26F]
POST: I (25M) feel like I'm on the precipice of getting "friend-zoned" (I hate that term). More importantly, I fear that I'm doing it to myself. This absolutely amazing girl(26) and I started seeing each other a few months back and everything was going great for a bit more than a month. She started to pull back and I knew that something was wrong.
Finally she breaks, through tears she tells me that I've been awesome and that she's sorry but she's still recovering from her previous relationship, and she's just generally overwhelmed by life. I tell her, "I understand, I'm bummed out of course, but I get it. You've got to get your head in a better place, that's more important than anything else, and hey if you ever need somebody, I'm here. And if you ever want to go on another date, awesome." She thanked me and I figured that was that.
The next evening I get a text saying "I don't want to lose you completely, do you want to get coffee this weekend?" Great! That's a start. Since then we've gotten coffee, done dinner and a movie, brunch and an art sale, etc. Sort of date things. She was my plus one at my company holiday party and gave me a kiss at the end of the night as I got her a cab. A few days later we ended up staying out at the bar near her place until after public transit closed, I assume that I'll be taking a cab home, to my surprise she tells me I can stay with her. We're both dead tired and nothing except for sleep happened.
Since then we continue to go on these sort of dates and text back and forth every few days. I'm trying to be patient while she sorts her life out and gets into a better place. I think I'm giving her plenty of space and letting her initiate conversations/ hangouts. I care about this wonderful girl a lot, and I want to be there for her regardless, I just wish I knew what was at the end of this.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [19 M] for 6 months, I feel like he isn't interested in my life.
POST: So my boyfriend and I have been friends since 7th grade, and we recently got together and usually things are really great and I'm super in love with him. Something that bothers me though, is that he never asks me about myself. I knew going into the relationship that my boyfriend was a little self centered, but he's funny so it he plays it well, and it doesn't usually bother me. I just wish he wanted to get to know who I am. In my last relationship, my ex was my best friend, and I feel like I will never be as close to my current boyfriend.
For example, one night we were texting and I asked him how many people he'd slept with. I expected him to ask me the same, not just because it's juicy gossip, but also because it's something important that he should know for his own health. When I asked him why he didn't want to know, he just said that it never bothered him. I feel like it's like this with every personal aspect of my life and I find myself feeling lonely and unloved because this person I care so much about isn't curious about who I am.
So I guess my question is, why does he have no interest in knowing me on a deeply personal level, and how do I go about telling him how this makes me feel?
TL;DR: |
r/needadvice
TITLE: advice on reconnecting with friends.
POST: I had alot of good friends, the kind of friends that would do anything for you and can just talk to, but after high school I just slowly stopped talking to everyone because i became bored with life and never could talk to anyone because life was just fucking boring, I became socialy stupid, became a loner basically, starting disliking people, that kind of shit. Its been like 6 months to a year since i talked to any of my old friends. Now i relize how great they were and want to reconnect but im fucking scared for no reason, its bringing me down. Also im going to another state for army basic training in a month. should i just find them on facebook and try to hang out with them as much as possible, or just not even bother? any advice or stories or anything that might help will help more than wiki leaks helped julian assange get arrested.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my GF [23 F] of one month, feel like I'm too over-anxious and worry about her when I shouldn't
POST: Hello all;
First time poster to this sub, but I have been having some odd feelings lately regarding my (relatively) new girlfriend and I.
She has been diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) but is on medication for this as well as anti anxiety. I too am on anti anxiety drugs.
Things have been going pretty well between us, but my main concern is I feel like I am a lot more attached/giving more than she is. I have talked with her about this and she insists she will initiate more of our dates and also sex, but I have yet to really see anything to convince me otherwise.
When we are together everything is fine between us, we laugh and talk about really anything. But when we are apart I can't help but think about her almost constantly. Whenever I send a text I get really anxious if she doesn't reply. We both work full time so we are relatively busy, but we live very close to each other.
We only see each other in person maybe once a week - and to me that's honestly not really enough. I miss her a lot when we are apart. I believe I have some fear of abandonment issues that have been with me my whole life.
I just would like some advice on how to discuss my feelings with her without seeming too needy/desperate for her affection. I do not have that much relationship experience as my longest has been ~6 months give or take. This is also my first real relationship in over a year.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, and if you need more details/explanation please don't hesitate to ask!
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my friend[20 F] three years, confusing and hurtful.
POST: I met a woman years ago on Omegle by random chance, and the relationship spurred on from there. Long conversations, (This is all long distance by the way.)secret sharing, the whole bit. We had out fights, fall outs, and periods where we didn't talk. They've stretched out for months and months.
But recently we began talking again. She's saying how she "loves me", doesn't want me to love anyone else, and just broke up with her husband. We did some sexual things, share stuff, all that. But she wants something "real".
After some questioning apparently she doesn't take this "seriously", I'm filling a void until she can find someone new to take her husband's place. She has some mental issues, but she still seems quite all right. Well, she did.
She said she won't say things like "I love you." anymore because it's not fair to me. I feel used, I feel cheap. I put so much into this, I was serious. Maybe I was in love. But I don't think so now.
TL;DR: |