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r/AskReddit
TITLE: Boss just told me that we can be fired for listening to music, whats the stupidest excuse for being fired you've ever heard of?
POST: I work in the IT department for the state, a pretty laid back and easy going job, i sit in my office and go through tickets, just so happens i listen to music while i do this, never had any problems arise from listening to music. today my boss walked in and saw i was listening to music(ten years gone-led zep for you led fans out there) and the boss says, "you know if M(my higher up boss) catches you listening to music he will fire your ass right?" I think this is completely ridiculous, what are some other ridiculous reasons someone has given you for firing someone reddit?
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r/dogs
TITLE: [Help] My retriever is almost 14 and a half and we're moving.
POST: Alright where to begin... Our/ my dog (shared with my dad) is an almost 14 and a half year old Golden Retriever. I recently bought my own apartment and my dad is going to rent out out apartment and move in with his girlfriend. At the same time we're renovating our kitchen and something something with our floor. Because of this our dog is slightly restless.
For the past 2 years or so she will occasionally poop/ pee inside the house. One week it could be two times a day, while the next month is perfectly clean. However when she was younger she had some back problems and had special dog fog to treat it. It's quite visible now that she's not as fit as before and she's grown old.
So, here comes the question... My dad feels it's time to say our goodbyes to Gulla. She's old and tired and well... the pooping that happens every now and then is a hassle. However, another reason is because his girlfriend doesn't want dog hairs in her house. Otherwise she has a large house with a large garden where she would be able to play (we have one in our apartment). I'm moving on Monday 19th and could potentially take Gulla with me. It should be noted that I need a permit for it though and it's on the 5th floor. Right now all I do is go down 15 steps and let Gulla out whenever she wants and she'll bark when she wants to come in.
I'm just unsure wether or not maybe I too should say goodbye to her or if I should try to care for her more. Also, sorry for my formating... It's quite late her right now and I've been rather busy with the kitchen and my bank holding up and my loan.
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r/college
TITLE: High schooler needs advice about classes + college
POST: Hey all, I know I'm not in college but I figured everyone here would know more about this than in the highschool subreddit. Let me know if this is the wrong place to ask and I can take this post down. I'm going into 10th grade when school starts this year. So far, I'm planning with my counselor to skip my senior year and get off to college early. My plan is to go to MIT and major in physics. (I'm also interested in business, and am planning to somehow in the future combine my knowledge of physics and business to create profit.)
But anyway, I know that taking math and science classes are necessary to do well in physics. I'm still unsure, however, of which math classes I should take throughout high school for the best results. The same for science. These are the classes I took in my freshman year for math and science and what classes I'm signed up for this coming school year.
Math 9th grade - Algebra 1B
Math 10th (this year) - Honors Algebra 2
Science 9th grade - Academic Science 9
Science 10th - Honors Biology
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r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 F] might have called things off with a new guy [26 M] too soon. Didn't feel right, but...
POST: Since a few dates in with this new guy, who I met online, I had a feeling there might be something missing. I like him and have never really felt more comfortable with a guy. He's nice but doesn't put me on a pedestal, surprises me with his thoughts all the time, is a strong person who takes care of himself and has beaten back hardships, and shares a lot of my views, values and interests.
But.. I only had that spike in passion one time (when we hadn't slept together yet but things were getting close) and it hasn't come back. Since then, the sex and kissing are very good but not amazing, which didn't worry me because that can improve a lot.
After about a month of dating all of my little doubts seemed to catch up to me and we talked and I called things off. I'm terrified of leading someone on for too long and then hurting them over something I knew about months ago, like a relationship just not feeling "right." Probably my worst relationship fear.
I like to think one day I will just know and won't ever think about leaving someone, but is a month not long enough to wait for a spark to develop, when I'm sure he would be really good for me and I crave a deep love, not infatuation?
It was also so much harder than I expected to end it. I was crying and most of what he said hit me right in the gut. None of it was guilt tripping, either. Just sweet, perfect things.
I've been down this road before where I break up with a guy like 8 times and eventually saw I was right from the beginning. I don't want to do that again. Am I just testing things to make sure he's not going to cling to me like my ex?
Is it worth seeing if things develop with another month? I'll just add, I've only really felt the spark when I wanted someone I couldn't have, and a few times with my ex, but the doubts were always in the back of my mind.
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r/relationships
TITLE: Me[25M] with my GF[24F] of 2 years are struggling with the tradition of her taking my last name if we marry.
POST: My girlfriend and I are in love and have consulted about marriage many a time. I'll be proposing this year (still working out how to do it) but something both of us struggle with is what happens to our last names when we do. Typically (in Australia at least), she'll take my last name and I understand that to a great extent it is determined by culture. My dilemma is that i'm not satisfied with my available options. The way I'm seeing it:
1) She takes my last name and we 'conform' to the typical traditions and expectations that society has accepted to be considered normal. Why does she have to forgo her last name?
2) I take her last name. Ok so I'm challenging the social norms. I'm not conforming to past notions. I'm standing up for my belief in the equality of men and women. But am I? Does me taking her name actually mean anything besides dinner table conversations?
3) We do a hyphenated mix of both of our last names. It'll sound ugly but it's fair.
4) We both ditch our last names and start a new last name. Essentially a lose/lose I guess.
5) We keep both of our last names. Which I don't like. Makes me feel like we are not connected.
I'm here to hear your thoughts, opinions, understandings.
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r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 M] just broke up with my SO [30 F] of 2 years and I feel awful.
POST: So we had a good relationship but we were just too different. Didnt enjoy the same stuff, different personalities etc. And I'm starting a 2nd job and school full time in the fall so my already limited time will be non existent and I basically told her I didn't want to even try to stay together through it because we already have issues about how little we see each other.
I feel like I made a huge mistake though. I know that it's ffor the best because inevitably we'd argue more and more about my lack of time but is it normal to feel this much like a piece of shit?
I care about her deeply but the physical attraction just wasn't there anymore and I feel like iI was trying to save her the eventual heartbreak and in doing so I made everything worse.
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r/offmychest
TITLE: Anyone else feel super lonely/annoyed at work?
POST: I used to feel bad about not having a job but I recently started working at a Target and boy, are my coworkers immature. I don't have many friends in my life so I was excited to try to get along with them but all of them just make me cringe with how loud, obnoxious and ignorant they are. I'm really disappointed. It also really sucks because they all like each other a lot and I guess, in the end, I probably just seem like this quiet, reserved, anti-social weirdo or something. I hope this doesn't sound pretentious or anything but I really am a deep and intellectual person who likes to have meaningful conversations. But a lot of my coworkers just like to yell to each other across the aisles about how the club was last weekend and how drunk or high they were, etc. There's one guy in particular who has also been saying mean things about me and it's hard to shake. I would tell my boss but honestly I don't know. It wouldn't make me feel better. I end up wanting to cry sometimes because it gets so hard to put up with. I work overnight shifts too so overall it's just really lonely.
Anyway, I just have a thousand other problems and I thought finally getting a job would make me feel better about myself, but it actually only makes me feel a lot worse... I don't want to quit after only a month, and plus I need money in my pocket, but yeah. All I do lately is come home, watch youtube videos or game for a couple hours, eat, sleep, wake up and repeat. I try to tell myself that this is all temporary and someday I'll wake up feeling a lot more comfortable with my life, but man... Right now it's just really hard. I actually just got out of a homeless situation so I tell myself everyday that I should be thankful I have a job right now, but everything is just hurting me lately.
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r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] Don't know how I feel about continuing dating my best friend [21F]
POST: I started dating my best friend. When I began doing so I was wary that I would want to remain single through the rest of college, but I thought I made up my mind and decided I wanted to date her. Recently those feeling have been coming back, and I feel bad because we tell each other we love each other but I am starting to no view her that way anymore. She has liked me as long as I have known her, and I feel bad for dating her and then deciding that it is not what I want. What makes it worse is she is really depressed right now, and I seem to be the anything that makes her happy and I don't want to leave her now, cause I still very much so care about her and her feelings. She starting seeing a psychiatrist. What do I do? what makes it worse is I started crushing on this other girl, and I consider my self a very loyal person, so I would never do anything to hurt my best friend but I am left feeling like I am stuck between the new girl, and not wanting to tell my friend yet cause of her mental health. Also does anyone have experience remaining friends with people you dated cause I don't want to lose my friend or for her to feel out of place in our friend group, and stop hanging out with them ahhh.
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r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by forgetting about my worplaces christmas-dinner
POST: Ok here it goes.. As usual this wasn't really today. It was last thursday afternoon.
To give you a bit of context: I'm from Switzerland and our education system is a bit different than yours probably. After the obligatory school you can either go to university or make an apprentice. My apprentice is 4 years long and consists of me working 3 out of 5 days and going to school the other 2.
So this last thursday I went to school. All went fine there and in the late afternoon after school was over I, like every thursday after school, headed to the train station togheter with my mates. We then boarded the train and went off. 30 minutes or so later we arrive at another train station where we are supposed to change trains to go further ahead with our commute. The young shitheads we are we decide it would be fun to smoke a J togheter. No big deal normally but this day i was supposed to go to my workplaces christmas-dinner. After smoking the J we all go to our seperate platforms and board our trains as usual. I hop on the train, get a seat, take off my jacket and then it hits me. I SHOULD HAVE a) not smoke a J b) not board this train and c) to my fucking workplaces christmas-dinner. Lucky me realises the train hasn't even began to roll of even though its already a couple minutes late. So i start packing all my shit and putting on my jacket. After that i start hustling trough the train to get out. Just as I pressed the button to open the door the goddamn train started to drive off. So there I was, high af, not gonna make it to the christmas-dinner, slowly stumbling back to where i sat earlier only to realize some other cunt had already taken my spot. Now having to stand all the way home while calling my boss to explain what had happend.
Thank god he was actually really cool about it and told me it was ok and that that could happen to anyone (of course i did not tell him about the j instead i told him that i had just wandered from one train to the other out of habit)
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r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [22M] has one specific model whose pics he regularly faps to. Reason for me[21F] to be upset?
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years now, and I have no problem with him watching porn or looking at pictures of naked women. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to think about at first, but I reason through it that there's no emotional attachment and compare it to the times when I watch porn and I resolve it by myself pretty quickly. However, he has admitted to having pictures of a particular favorite model on his computer that he uses to regularly fap to. While I'm okay with him using porn and pictures to get aroused and get off, it's quite different for me if he is imagining having sex with the women especially if it's one specific woman.
I know he would never cheat on me and I know that he loves me very much, and our sex life is in no way impacted by his porn habits. I realize there's no emotional attachment to any of the women he sees in porn or even to this particular model but I can't help but wonder why he goes to the same model to get off. Can anybody help me with this? Is it unreasonable to not want him to visualize having sex with other women?
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r/relationships
TITLE: My [21M] SO [19M] has a very close platonic relationship with a previous partner that makes me feel conflicted
POST: We have been together only for about 3 months, and a month ago i found out that a friend he was having dinner with that night was someone he was romantically involved with for two months about a year prior (who is a lot older than us both).
Apparently they have remained really great friends over this time - text daily, call each other on the phone every so often, give each other gifts and he goes to that friend's house for dinner a couple of times a month. My SO considers him like a cousin and tells him everything.
But their current relationship makes me uneasy/jealous and I find it difficult to understand the relationship dynamic. They met on craigslist so the hook up motive of him staying in contact is always at the back of my mind although I am assured nothing sexual has ever gone on since they broke up (he broke it off with my SO) and that one night they even slept in the same bed together and nothing happened. It seems clear that their friendship means a lot to my SO, in a weird way he seems to idolise the guy.
What makes me feel worse is that my SO has been really open about the whole thing telling me he wants to fix whats making me uneasy, and he always asks if i wanna do anything on the nights before confirming dinner with that guy. He has even asked if i want to join them for dinner. I don't want to be evil and controlling and forbid them from talking, but I do feel a little put out when they are joking around together.
I guess whats really the issue is that things I thought we alone shared and were special to us might not be so personal after all. Am I being unreasonably jealous? Is there something I can do to help me understand their relationship dynamic better? Or is it completely appropriate for me to request some changes be made?
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r/relationships
TITLE: My [21 f] mom [56 f] has been very anxious and depressed. I'm on the other side of the country, and I don't know how to help.
POST: My mom recently lost her job, and she is not having much luck finding a new one. She left her career when I was born to take care of me, and even after I got older she had trouble getting a good job.
She feels like she is worthless not being able to provide for the family (although my dad and I think that we're financially okay for both him and her to be retired)
She has always had high anxiety also, being distrustful of anyone but me, my dad, her parents, and her siblings.
I am living across the country right now, at college, and I do not know when I will be back to my hometown next. (I will not be back over spring break or during the coming summer) I feel bad since I don't know what I can do to help her.
She has been reading a lot of self help books which I don't exactly trust as legit advice. I've tried to suggest getting professional help. But a lot of self help books try to promote themselves by putting down psychiatry as kind of a pseudoscience (You know the type of bullshit like... "You don't need some expensive shrink; cure yourself with positive thinking!") So she has gotten this sort of distrust of psychologists from these books.
She has also started going to church again (My dad and I are both athiests but she is a Christian). I thought that might help, but she told me about how her bible study group focuses on talking about sins, and they honestly seem kind of shaming and judgmental. To be fair, I do not know a lot about religion, so I am not going to read further into their discussions than that.
I am worried about her and I do not know what I can do to help. Whenever we talk (And this has been going on for about 6 months) she tells me how she feels worthless and scared for her future.
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r/running
TITLE: Just some preliminary research on an injury wondering if I could gather some advice/ information here. Also, a few questions
POST: I am not sure if I would fall under the category of a noob since I ran competitively in High school and casually since then, but I would love some advice from some more advanced runners.
Recently I have not been able to run as much as I would like because my knees have been giving me issues. I did a little bit of research and feel that it maybe either Runner's Knee, water on the knee, or a slightly torn meniscus.
My main symptom is that it almost feels like there is a bubble or pocket of air under my knee. It is uncomfortable but not painful, and I still have a full range of motion. Putting to much weight on the leg gives me the sensation that it will give out, so I am favoring the unaffected leg.
Does anyone else have any experience with this?
I have relatively flat feet and do pronate when I run but I have good shoes. Should I consider some type of inserts? I don't want to drop serious money on customs so does any one have a suggestion?
Asics have been my shoe of choice and I have been pretty good about getting them replaced every few months. As I said above when being fitted for shoes I do pronate so I normally go with shoes that offer additional support. I have also run in the past without the support offered for pronation. Would it be worth trying to get normal shoes next purchase opposed to the ones offering support?
Just looking to gather some information to see if this can be a quick fix or at least have a somewhat informed conversation with a doctor if it comes to that.
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r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by mistaking a womans prosthetic leg for a leg cast.
POST: So I work as a grocery clerk and was asked to help a woman bring a pack of bottled water to her car. I do so, and she proceeds to thank me, even gave me 4 dollars ( which i took, after refusing at first). I smiled and said, " Well, have a great day", while examining her I noticed she had a leg "cast", I continued my sentence by saying " I hope your leg heals up soon".
She then says, " Oh i only have 1 leg, this is my prosthetic leg".
My face turned pale and i felt everything around me go blank.
Luckily she was a good sport about it and kind of smiled. I apologized , turned around and left with my teeth grinding against each other out embarrassment.
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r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [21F] cut off ties with my mother [40F]?
POST: For years my mom has treated me like the child she wished she never had. It all began when she got married when I was 14. I opposed the marriage because she had known the man for two weeks prior to the wedding and he was fresh out of a 15 year stint in prison. Throughout my teenage years, he physically and emotionally abused me (and the rest of my family, though I seem to have gotten the blunt of it) to the point where CPS was involved for several years.
We finally got him out of our life back in 2014, but still my mom treats me like someone she is forced to live with, rather than her daughter. This has affected my self esteem and has caused me a great deal of anxiety and depression. Her biggest issue seems to be that she resents the fact that I do not agree with her lifestyle and am actively working hard to break out of poverty. My mom does not have a job and works off the social security she gets for my siblings because our dad is disabled and cannot pay child support (it's only about $900 a month). She spends all her money on weed and alcohol and we often have our electricity, gas, heat, you name it, shut off. The only reason we have never been evicted from our house is because we live in government funded housing. This is not a lifestyle I envision for myself, but because my younger siblings seem happy to live like this, my mom sees me as judgemental and condescending. This is not because of anything that I say, but solely because I don't aspire to live like her.
It's taken me months and months of hard work and saving, but I'm finally moving out in November and I'll be an hour and a half away from home. Should I cut off ties with my mom at this point? I worry that I'll end up regretting it because she is still my mother and I do still love her but she just makes me so absolutely miserable.
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r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Am I overreacting over my boyfriend 'liking' another girls picture on facebook? 21f
POST: me: 21f him: 22m
So i've been officially dating my boyfriend for about a month now but have been seeing each other since end of august. Things have been going actually really really good, until I saw something today and it made me upset.
I'm not the kind of girl that likes to argue. I'm a very laid back person but I hate the idea of having some one walk all over me and disrespect me. Therefore, when I feel i'm being disrespected, I try to go about it in the most mature way possible to tell the person that i'm not going to tolerate it.
Unfortunately, sometimes since i'm so easygoing, no one takes me seriously even after the fact of when I like to "tell it like it is".
When my boyfriend does anything on facebook, it is first on my minifeed. I noticed he liked this girls pictures in the past when we weren't dating, but today I saw he liked a new fairly provocative picture of her.
I immediately got upset and decided to text him saying "can you please not like other girl's pictures on facebook, it is the first thing i see when i log on. I know it's stupid, but it makes me upset"
he answered back "lol okk sorry". I feel like he's kind of showing that he just doesn't take me seriously. He is always nice to me but now i'm just really upset still and I feel like i'm overreacting because i'm petrified of getting hurt again. My ex boyfriend used to do similar things and I would never say anything because I was too timid.
Reddit, am I being crazy? I don't want to let it bother me and make me worried about things between us, but I can't help but be a little jealous and anxious that he's not taking our relationship seriously.
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r/relationships
TITLE: Problems deciding our child's religion/beliefs.
POST: Backstory. Me and my wife have been together for nearly 2 years now. We've been friends for awhile and when a "relationship" when awry we ended up getting together. The "problem" was that she was pregnant. I was with her for all 9 months, I was there for her and the baby the entire time. I've changed shitty diapers, I've had baby puke all over my, I've eaten disgusting baby food. Stayed up late at night to take care of MY daughter. She's mine, in every way aside from those things called "genes".
I love her more than anything. I love my wife. I love my family. I'm 24 and my wife is 22 and our daughter just turned 1 year old 13 days ago. We generally get along well, the occasional snag every now and again.
Somehow today, we got on the subject of beliefs and lying. My wife made a statement about how she refused to lie to our daughter. She would tell her where babies come from, there was no Santa or Toothfairy. I got a little upset at her trying to force this one our daughter, so I asked. What are you going to do about religion?
Answer? I'm going to tell her the truth. God exists and about my beliefs. Now, I am personally indecisive on the matter. I don't really have religion, but I am okay with people having their beliefs. I'm FINE with our child having a religion that she follows. I'm not okay with my wife deciding that she should believe in god and not santa.
The problem, I think, is that she honestly believes in God. So she sees this at not lying, she truly believes there is a god. Santa, she doesn't believe in, so she can tell the truth by saying he doesn't exist.
I lost my temper when she refused to cooperate on the subject and we ended up getting in a huge fight over it. I'm not doing this out of spite, and I was in the wrong for losing my cool, but I want to know, how should we approach this subject?
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r/AskReddit
TITLE: Redditors, what are your most efficient (and effective) memorization techniques?
POST: I've got some sort of final exams of native literature coming up and I need to learn by rote a fair number of texts of critical analysis on a variety of literary works (novels, novellas, poems etc.). There're about 17 such texts and most of them have around 1000-1500 words each. And I DO need to learn them all by heart if I want to get an ideal mark. (At the exam, I will have to write one of these texts, but I will not know precisely which until the day of the exam.)
The exam itself is about 1 month from now, but I will be intensively engaged with other stuff in the two weeks prior to the exam, so I'd like to get this over with in the next two weeks.
What is the fastest/best way to do this?
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r/AskReddit
TITLE: I don't get the US on illegal immigration
POST: Okay so I know this is going to sound absurd to some and I'll get downvoted (I'd rather you comment why I'm wrong rather than downvote)... but I don't get how the US doesn't seem to do much on illegal immigration.
What prompted me to write this was a statement from Audry Singer, a senior fellow at the Brooking Institution. She said in a statement (which was posted on CNN) about ICE taking custody of about 2,400 illegal immigrants that "The big problem is that they were getting mostly noncriminals,". ICE was attempting to capture convicted criminals... but apparently captured many who didn't quite fit in the group of people they were targeting.
Of course it's good to get the trouble causing illegal immigrants, but why does it seem like so many people come to the defense of illegal immigrants. I mean aren't they all in a sense criminals because they have committed a crime? Are people just blatantly ignoring that?
Banks are helping illegal immigrants get homes, schools are creating programs to assist illegal immigrants, the Obama administration is fighting Arizona over protecting their border with Mexico, and what not just seems weird to me because it's essentially aiding criminals. You can find tons of these examples by just googling "help illegal immigrants".
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r/relationships
TITLE: My [24/M] girlfriend [23/F] is putting me in an awful position.
POST: A little backstory:
My girlfriend and I were arrested last November for possession of cannabis in Florida. It was a horrible fucking experience that left me with a permanent anxiety when smoking, paranoid that I'm going to get caught again. Since then, I've been extremely careful about my smoking, never smoking outside of my house, or at the very most, in my car right outside of my house for easy access.
Well, today, my girlfriend told me that she is going to a party where a bunch of drunk idiots are going to be passing around blunts, smoking the hell out on a public beach in South Florida, on New Year's when the cops will be out in full force. So my choices are:
1. I don't go, and I don't get to see my girlfriend on New Year's, which will disappoint her.
2. Go, be paranoid the entire time, and ruin her holiday celebration with my bad vibes.
I don't really understand how she can be so relaxed, considering she went through HELLFIRE trying to come up with money for probation, court, and making sure the charge is off her record.
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r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Asking out my(22M) mom's friend's daughter(19F). Would appreciate some insight.
POST: Ok, I'll try to be brief.
One of my (22M) mom's best friends from our hometown has a daughter (19F) who I think is gorgeous. I don't know her all that well, but we've talked a few times and she's been nice. I do, however, know her mom and brother (15m) very well. I saw her a couple weeks back and have wanted to ask her out for a while but I don't know how. From what info I have, and how little we see each other anyway, I think I have like 3 options:
1) She works at a restaurant close by, so I could maybe go to the restaurant and leave a note with my number, when I pay. But A) I don't know her schedule and I'm not going to just go in until she happens to be there too, and B) what if I'm not in her section?
2) I text her mom asking for her number and ask her out over the phone, either text or call.
3) We're friend on Facebook, I could just message her with something like "Hey _____, I was just wondering if you ever wanted to go out for coffee or lunch some day. I would have preferred to ask you this in person but that meant asking you while you were working which I didn't think would be fair to you. Here's my number, XXXXXXXXX, if you'd like to, but if not, no big."
My "play" that I normally did when I was in my dorms in college was writing a note similar to that one and sticking it under girls doors, and it worked well, but this is a bit different. I'm not exactly one to shotgun asking girls out, so I'm not great with *just doing it* and pulling the trigger.
Are any of those options good? Are there any options I'm missing? I would love some help from a women's perspective and what they'd appreciate.
Also, I'm a decent looking guy, pretty plain. She is beautiful though, some of my friends don't think she's all that great looking, but she does it for me.
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r/relationships
TITLE: Me [39 M] with my [35F] ending 4 year relationship - when is it polite to be open about dating someone else.
POST: I am just ending a 4 year relationship with my SO. She relapsed as a former addict. I confronted her and was firm that she had to get treatment and stop using to stay living with me. The status of the relationship outside of treatment / living arrangements didn't come up.
She chose to keep using and after saying a bunch of terrible stuff....she did leave.
All of her stuff is still at my place, and she has no contact with me in 15 days. Won't call or text to discuss it.
I was exhausted and at the end of my rope as the situation came to an end...I feel like I had mourned the relationship before I confronted her.
When would it be ok for me to be open and public with my single status? Is there any reason to hold back on meeting someone?
I guess there isn't a hurry but I just want to be a good guy with all this.
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r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my GF [26F] , Issues with my parents accepting her
POST: I have been seeing my SO for around 9 months now, she's a wonderful person and has 2 kids (3 and 5) who are also amazing and I have developed a pretty sweet relationship with them as well.
I am a young professional and my SO is currently in university. Things are great between us, and we've talked about moving in together and starting lives together, there's just one issue, my parents.
I have semi-conservative asian (indian) parents (if that makes sense, feel free to criticise this term). They have concerns over the fact that my SO is not right for me for various reasons. They have said that things will work out in the end and they just need time to come to terms with the situation of my dating somebody with children, in the meantime they refuse to meet her in person (this is something they have always done with previous girlfriends, i.e. Not meeting them until about a year into the relationship) but obviously have no qualms about me seeing her or anything.
My SO finds this deeply offensive to her, and states that everytime I see my parents and such she feels like I'm betraying her. She feels very cut off from me when I see them(maybe a weekend a month max, I live away from them)
I can see where she is coming from and this is not really acceptable to refuse to see your childs SO. But I also want to give my parents a chance to come around to the idea of 'us'. So on one hand my SO feels like I am betraying her and my parents don't understand why she is so stressed by it all, and they are starting to feel like she is being possessive.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: I [F23] exchanged numbers with a pretty cool dude [M23] the other night. What do I do now?
POST: Went to a party the other night with some friends, and I met this neat-o guy there. We talked about music and stuff all night long, had a great conversational flow and all that jazz. We ended up exchanging numbers, and I texted him once I got home that night saying it was good to meet him and we should jam sometime. He seemed into the idea and called me cute, aand that was that.
I've always met guys through school or dated friends, so I'm not quite sure what to do now, haha. Should I wait for him to contact me now? Wait til the weekend and maybe say what's up or something? I don't wanna come off needy or creepy at all.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [17F] help my boyfriend [19M] of 2 years feel more handsome/attractive?
POST: Hi! Excuse the throwaway, my boyfriend knows I frequent this sub and my primary account username would be a dead giveaway.
Long story short: My boyfriend believes he is the "reacher" and I am the "settler". I find him so very attractive, and after two years he still gives me those stupid butterfly feelings and I am very attracted to him and think he is so handsome.
I compliment him every day. I try my hardest to make him feel attractive. In the sex department (yes, condoms are in use) I do everything I can to show him that I find him incredibly sexy. We have sex as often as two teenagers can as well.
I think I'm doing everything right, but he feels worse and worse every day. Please help me. I hate seeing him so upset and down about himself. He is a wonderful man who deserves to know it.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My[16M] mother[41F] IS angry about my mark and is making me choose between my greatest passion in life or losing her as my mother.
POST: Long story kiddies, but I need urgent help and it would mean the world to me if you chipped in your two cents.
Here we are at the end of exam review day. I didn't do very well in physics this year with a 75. Now this mark isn't that bad but my mother is incredibly strict about my marks.
At the beginning of the year I had promised her that I would get above an 80 in all my marks. This has happened before, where I had promised to achieve above a certain threshold of marks and I failed to deliver.
I don't know when this started, but basically I failed to deliver and she gave me an ultimatum between promising to get better marks or her pulling me out of school to work minimum wage and pay her rent. While she ignores me. This now continues everytime I get a bad mark and the ultimatum is the same where I have beg her to forgive me.
This time around, she has given me a choice between dragonboating and her never acknowledging me, or me going to school and right home everyday. This would be a simple choice, please my mother so I can live another day, but the problem is that dragonboat is my life and I would much rather die than give it up.
She is now ignoring me and talking to me through my father.
So reddit, what can I do?
I have a national competition this Friday so I need some advice quickly.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] accidently told my best friend [17 F] that I loved her. HELP.
POST: So I was hanging out with my best friend, and we were talking about how much we miss each other and all that stuff. So it was 2 at night, and Christmas (so yeah, making stupid decisions is totally fine)
In the heat of the moment, as I call it, I told her I loved her.
And well turns out, she told me she loved me too. Apparently she had always liked me, but was just too scared to tell me. (She also called me stupid for not getting the hints, but lets not talk about that)
The problem is, I don't like her. I realized what I had done the next morning, and I knew it was too late. For the first time ever, I wanted to be in the friend zone again.
So the next day I visit her, and tell her that I never thought it through, and It was stupid of me to take such a rash decision. Well as you guessed, she didn't take that too well.
First she tried to convince me not to break up... A few hours later she messaged me about how she was going to never express her feelings to anyone ever again, and at the end of the whole thing she started acting as if she's the one who wants to break up (Girls I tell you)
The thing is, she's the closest person to me, I care about her so much. I never want to lose her.
Frankly I'll never be able to forgive myself if things don't go back to normal.
What am I supposed to do to make this the same as it used to?
TL;DR: |
r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by "attempting" to film me and my girl getting down and dirty
POST: I'm not even sure where I got the idea from. Hell, my girl's a freak, she'd let me film it if I'd just asked. But me, being a twat, decided "I can totally get away with this."
While she was in the shower I set up my camera, in what I had assumed would be a nonchalant place, hidden on the windowsill tucked behind the curtains. I hit the record button and headed out of the room to wait for her to get out of the shower.
After she finished, I hinted that I was looking to get laid. She was already in the mood and headed right into the bedroom. She hopped onto the bed, and like there was some magic magnet in her head, she instantly glanced over at the camera. She jumped up and proceeded to laugh her ass off at me.
Needless to say, I forgot about the giant fucking red focus light that comes on while it's recording and never thought to check if she'd see it.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My[21m] best friend/ future roommate[21m] is dating a girl[19f]who is friends with my ex[19f]
POST: To sum it all up, I dated this girl( M ), she didn't have a ton of female friends so I encouraged her to join a sorority which she did. My last roommate( R ) was Hopkins up with a girl who was in the same sorority( L), they became friends. At the end of the year M and I broke up.
Then R and L end things and almost immediately my best friend/ future roommate( P ) and this girl Get together. I wasn't really in favor of it because of R, but it happened and now 3 months later P and L are still dating.
I'm happy for him and everything, but we have only hung out once all summer. I understand he's hanging out with his new girlfriend all the time( I did the same lady summer) but I still made time to see other friends. He invited me to hang out and essentially" third wheel" which I didn't want to do. P and L are a very intense couple to be around alone..
What he told me when we were hanging out kind of bothered me. He said that M has been to his house a few times while L was there. One of the times being a 21st birthday party for P's friend from home( who I've met multiple times). He didn't invite me or even mention it, but invited our other roommate who we will be living with.
So I don't know if I'm just being a dick, or if he's being a bad friend. I just feel bad that he wouldn't mention it to me. His excuse was that "it was last minute and I didnt even want M there".. But he still didn't mention it to me?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my GF of 2 years [24F], picked up "offensive" reading material and are now in a huge dispute
POST: This was kind of absurd as I was writing. The story is quite simple, a week and half ago she came home with a book. "Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov. I found this quite funny on her behalf, I didn't question her about it and just assumed she was reading it because the title was quite intriguing. She read it quite frequently at home during our reading times but didn't choose to discuss its content with me (unlike our previous reads).
Then two days ago I finished my book, I went out and picked up "The Game" by Neil Strauss (a pick-up artist). I thought this would create quite a funny contrast in our reads.
This is where I was surprised. She questioned my book choice - *are you trying to become a pick-up artist?*.
"... No dear, I am reading it for fun"
*don't read a bad influencing book like that, you are going to act like a player*
"... By your logic you are going to become a bitch"
Oh I think that's when she's had enough and blew up. I mean yeah I can put down this book and make this argument stop, but should I?
To note: I don't think her book is about actually trying to become a bitch. But my book isn't about trying to become a player, pretty sure in the end the author went along and married his GF and realized how worthless all the PUA stuff are. I'm merely making a point about reading material.
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have a collection agency after me for bills I paid... just wondering how long it takes for something like this to affect my credit score
POST: I've been going back and forth with a collection agency and fitness group about money that was owed. I heard from them in February, but they said they would call the fitness group and double check with them because my mom and I thought we had cancelled. They called back 4 weeks later and said no we had to pay... they said to go to the fitness group and pay them and cancel, which we did. And I have the proof that says we paid. But I got a notice today saying that I owe TWICE that much.
I'm just getting frustrated because we did what they said to do. I'm just afraid of this affecting my credit score. So my question is... how long do collection agencies keep nagging until your credit score is affected? Granted I'm working on figuring this out. I'm going to call them tomorrow and I plan on sending them copies of my documents saying I paid the fees. But I just don't want this to affect my credit score.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [22M] stay in South America with my girlfriend? [21F]
POST: Been a lurker here forever and have found tons of useful advice but I'm in a bit of a specific crossroads right now and would really appreciate some outside input.
My girlfriend and I both live in San Francisco but for the past 3 months she's been living in Bogota teaching English at the local schools while I stayed with my parents at home raising money for college next semester. I just came to visit her two weeks ago and after some incredible experiences traveling the coast the opportunity came up to join her program until its end in Christmas. If I take it it means I'll move in with her! Sound peachy right?
Well I don't know how to weigh all the pros and cons of it, on the one hand this seems like a wonderful opportunity to expand my horizons (I've lived in many places abroad before but never South America) but it also means I'll be forfeiting making good money back home in an attempt to avoid student debt (3 months of good work, not THAT insignificant).
That being said during my "vacation time" here some issues in our relationship have begun surfaced! Which I think is always a good thing as I don't like it when people pretend that all things are sunny and wonderful when they might not be. At the moment we have significantly different sex drives, hers being a lot lower. Its something that she herself is frustrated with, as she tells me she WANTS to have sex and WANTS to move past her low libido issues (something which stems from the stress of expectation of having me here for a couple days, as well as from the chronic stomach pain she often experiences). She and I are also keenly aware of the importance of establishing space as its very easy to spend too much time together and fray an otherwise wonderful relationship with a sense of cabin fever.
I'm not sure what to do, both options make sense in their own ways. And friggin adore and love this girl, shes beautiful in so many ways and so supportive. I just don't know exactly what to do.
Can you help me Reddit?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my friend/co-worker [25 M/F] who knows that I have feelings for her are spending more time together than we ever have.
POST: I met her about a year ago and we immediately hit it off. she actually asked me out then but I was in a relationship. about 2 weeks after that, the girl I was dating dumped me. I wasnt really all that upset about it to be honest. we didnt really get along and had only been dating for about 2-3 months. But, point is that I wanted to be honest and said no i probably shouldn't.
Ever since then we have been incredibly good friends and spend a lot time together but I always felt kind of like a runner up. Until one day, she asked if her boyfriend could come along to something we had planned to do (a walk around a small local lake). I politely said i would prefer not. she was it because he is her boyfriend and if I had feelings for her. I said yes. and she seemed happy about that. it was mentioned every now and then and every time she seemed happy it. She also never really mentions him when she is near me out of respect.
But she is still dating the guy. I am fine with it as she i want her to be happy as everyone should be. But lately we have been spending way more time together lately. I mean in the last week we been to dinner about 2 times, the movies once, and I hung out with her at her apartment. We also have made plans for next week as well.
Is she building up to something or am I simply reading too much into it?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my Online Date[25 F] of 2 weeks, tried to meet up in person for the first time.
POST: So first time posting on this sub, and using a throwaway account.
So I met this girl online, we texted back and forth for about two weeks. Last Wednesday I texted her saying hey maybe we should meet up for some food. She agreed and seemed pretty excited about it. I figured since I met her online and it's only been two weeks, to take it a little lighthearted and not take this too seriously, which I tend to do a lot of the times. So I didn't text her since Wednesday cause I figured I should give her a little space, don't want to crowd her, and will text her Sunday to see where we can meet up and when. Sunday came and I texted her asking her if she's up yet, she said no. I thought she probably will go back to sleep so I just texted her see if she wanna meet up at around 7 for dinner and she can just wake up and see the text. Then I never heard from her again. I wasn't really that upset to be honest because I know it's an online date, people flake all the time. But I was still a little ticked off that I didn't even get a courtesy text saying she doesn't want to show up. So the next day, I woke up and decided to text her and see what's up. Although I didn't expect a reply from her, she did reply, saying it was her bad, something personal came up and she had a pretty terrible day yesterday.
I'm really not sure how to approach this from this point on. Should I try to see if there's a shot again? or Should I just leave this girl alone?
Thanks in advance for your help :)
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23/F] with my boyfriend [27 M] 4.5 years, broke up but need to get him back
POST: Hey everyone!
So my bf and I have been dating for about 4.5 years and things have been a little rocky here and there like most relationships. Today was just like any other day. We got home, he realized he forgot his keys, freaked out and broke up with me out of no where. His exact words "Are you going anywhere?" I said no, and he said I should get the fuck out because he doesn't want me there anymore. We've had discussions in the past, but have worked through them. I'm trying to set a date to actually have a conversation because there wasn't any had. In this conversation I am going to subtly try to get back together because as most of you know this feeling SUCKS
Any advice?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: I, [25M], have a brain tumor. My girlfriend [22F] quite literally ran away after hearing. I can't stop having invasive thoughts.
POST: I've been trying to find people who are supportive about this. I know that many people tend to say, "Get over it" when it comes to breakups, not actually knowing the pain of losing someone you love. You guys would probably be more empathetic to this, though.
Very briefly, I'm not the type of guy that goes up to women...like at all. I'm pretty shy about that. So I never expected to fall in love so hard with her, especially as hard as I did. She said she loved me and all that great stuff eventually, and as scared as she was about the future, she said I made her comfortable enough to say she wanted me in her life "for keeps."
Fast forward a while and I'm in the hospital just after an MRI, and I get told I have a brain mass. I tell my now ex, and at first, she's supportive of me. Next thing you know, she disappears. I kept sending her Facebook messages, e-mails, wondering what I had done. I was blaming myself, looking back at every little thing that I'd done wrong. She didn't respond. I had to change my relationship status and that was our breakup.
Now, I truly loved this young lady, I'm telling you the truth. But invasive thoughts of her with some other guy, giving her body, her everything to someone else pop into my head. Especially of her having sex with someone else. It breaks my heart all the time that things ended this way and she has no consequences. I have yet to get her over her and I'm stuck in a bad place.
Any advice?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26M] with my girlfiend [25 F] of an year, have come open to my Indian Parents.
POST: Hi all,
I [26 M] told my Indian [South-Asia] parents yesterday about my girlfriend [25 F] who is an american.
It has backfired. My mom who has severe arthritis was begging her to leave me. My dad does not know what to do. He says that "I don't think your mom won't live long, I do not know what I'll do with myself and your sister's future will not last as well". My mom is not willing to agree with the marriage. But my dad is looking into our astrology charts [Kundli].I wish to marry her.
I'm terrified. Please help me get my parents agreement or atleast a way to resolve this.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My [21F] boyfriend [22M] won't communicate, might be the cause of my depressed state.
POST: Okay so my boyfriend [22] and I [21F] starting dating about 2 months ago. All was going great when we were just seeing each other [4 months] and for the first month and a half of official dating.
The last couple weeks I have been feeling down so I have been going out more than usual, but only to see friends i have known for 7yrs +, and every time I do my boyfriend always has smart ass comments from the moment he finds out.
For example; i dropped something and I made the comment "Oh damn failing at life" and giggled. Then he starts making comments like "Oh yeah biggest f***ing mistake, your mother should have swallowed you".
This isn't the first time this has happened either. He just starts to put me down, and when i confront him he gives me the silent treatment. I do invite him out and all, but he is always playing his online computer games, and then cracks it every time I get bored and want to hang with my friends.
We live together, and tonight he played his game for 2hrs and I asked "Oh are you going to play all night?" To which his response was "Yeah probably" So i made plans to go out with mates I have known for YEARS...He gets jealous, I end up getting home 2 hours later and he isn't home. He has been gone for over 4 hours and it is now nearly 3am. It is driving me mad, I keep blaming myself for it and i feel like a failure. I don't know what to do..When we do talk about this he either grunts, or make me feel guilty. Also, he "pocket" called me and on the other end it sounded like obvious porn and he wouldn't respond. So I ended up hanging up.
Help please, my mind is too muddled to think straight, I have A LOT going on with work and training, too stressed atm. :(
TL;DR: |
r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [33/M] trying to figure out if this is the end with my (37/f) girlfriend
POST: We decided to split up earlier this week. The main reason is that I want to move forward in the relationship (move in together, marriage, maybe kids, etc etc) and she can't give me any kind of commitment towards that.
She has deep lingering issues from a divorce about 5 years ago and also stuff going back to childhood so doesn't seem to want to commit to anything relationship-wise. Her answer to any kind of question like where are we going with this relationship is "I don't know." I know I'm not her therapist, but there's so much love between us I'm finding it hard to give up on her. She also has depression issues which are a personal thing -- everyone is responsible for their own mental health care (same rules I apply for myself). I guess at one one hand I know I am enforcing my boundaries and I have a need to find someone who loves me the way I love them and to make what I consider normal progress towards having a family.
On the other hand, there's so much love and commitment and whatnot it is literally killing me inside. She's easily the coolest girl I've ever met. But she also says things like she wishes we had met earlier in life which kind of tells me she will never want a committed relationship with any man ever who wants more than what we have together. I'm fine if I'm not "the one" but I don't think that's it at all. Is couples therapy an option? Plus, I feel like she's ruined all other women for me, I have like no desire to be with anyone else. I guess this will pass but hurts like hell to even think about.
I guess I'm posting here to hear some words of encouragement maybe that I'm doing the right thing moving on. I am still young and I take good care of myself. But I am the type of person who never wants to give up on someone I love if there's a chance of making it work.
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the most embarrassing thing you've overheard a complete stranger say about you?
POST: I was at a Vampire Weekend/Beach House concert by myself (I'm sorta forever alone), and I was in the very front row of an intensely packed crowd, shoulder to shoulder, front to back. The crowd was relatively restless, which caused me to continually be shoved against the railing and shoved into the people on either side of me. Directly to my left was a group of four or so girls, slightly younger than me, but mostly relatively attractive. And during the course of the concert, being so packed I was often shoved into the girl next to me. At one point I overheard her whisper to her friend, "I swear, this guy next to me is rubbing up against me on purpose". While i wanted to respond with "I'm sorry ma'am (bitch), let me allow you the extra 2 inches so you no longer feel uncomfortable", I pretended to be oblivious to what she said, although feeling slightly disconcerted by her comment, I continued to enjoy the rest of the concert in peace.
Not really that embarrassing, but it just threw me off guard. Mostly I just think that girl was being a bitch, but I'm positive someone else has a better story.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My family is arranging to have me [20 M] marry a girl [21 F] and I'm not allowed to tell her what's going on
POST: So I'm muslim and I've known I was getting an arranged marriage forever. This month my parents told me that they wanted to arrange me with this girl I've known for 2 years but haven't really talked to. Now I'm not against marrying her or the idea of an arranged marriage, I'm just worried that we won't know each other well enough to make informed decisions on the matter.
Now they are giving me a choice in the matter so she is coming over to Canada (she's from egypt) for about a month and a half for us to make the decision. She is also a student so she is getting some training done in my fathers' lab but that isn't the primary reason she's visiting.
So my plan was that when she came I'd tell her exactly what our situation was and how both of our parents want this to happen and we can both spend the month being ourselves and figuring out if we thought this would work. I was worried that if I didn't tell her this upfront we would spend the time pretending to be perfect and we wouldn't be able to make informed decisions.
I told my parents my plan, and they were mortified. They told me that I couldn't tell her that they or her parents had anything to do with this or that that was the reason she was coming here. When I asked why I was told that It was becuase it would make her feel awkward and unwanted in egypt and thats why her parents are flying her out here.
So now I'm in kind of a fucked up situation where I think the right think to do is to tell her up front but thats apparently not how her culture (I haven't lived in egpyt since I was 4, I'm basically full canadian) operates.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Why is my GF (20F) is acting towards me (20M) the same way her ex-BF acted towards her?
POST: This girl and I have been friends for about two and a half years now, but were never particularly close until recently. From January to August of this year, she was dating a member of our group of friends. She's said that she wasn't particularly interested in him, but was pressured into it by our friends, who thought the relationship would be good for them (or at least him; he was rather depressed at this point in time).
She broke up with him in August, and almost immediately after, she started talking to me outside of the time already spent together around campus. The more we talked, the more I realized I was attracted to her and the more I realized she had been attracted to me for some time, including while she was dating the other guy. And for the last month and a half, we've been dating.
What bothers me though, is that the reasons she gave for breaking up with the other guy are exactly how she acts towards me. He expressed a fear of being hurt by her, which she has expressed to me. She felt he said "I love you" too early into their relationship, but she's expressed that feeling to me even earlier in ours. He acted possessive, and she says things like "you belong to me." He was thinking too far into the future, and she's made comments about being together years from now. She felt pressured into having sex with him, and I feel myself getting to that point very soon.
Admittedly, this is my first relationship. I've said I love her, but honestly, I'm not sure what that means. I like her. I like her an outrageous (to me, at least) amount. There isn't a single thing about her I don't like. But how she acts is... troubling. I don't see it heading anywhere good. I haven't mentioned my concerns about this to her, and I know I should, but it'd hard bringing myself to ask her. Why would she act this way when it's exactly why she broke up with her last boyfriend?
TL;DR: |
r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by liking RKO vines a bit too much
POST: So, I went to a party last night and I knew about this girl and I knew she was coming but it's kinda the first time we've met. I find her extremely good looking and hoping to talk to her a lot during the night. Throughout the night, I guess I worked my magic and She was planning to sleep with me (literally sleep.. Perverts) but hey it's a start, never know what could happen after.
We both end up getting extremely drunk along with the others at the party of course.
And for some reason I think it's a great idea to hit an rko on this girl to be funny to my friends and her..
NOT ONCE. Four times. I didn't end up sleeping with her, I was too drunk to remember why, but id assume this was probably the reason.
I have screenshots of her and I's texts from the next morning as well.. Which I could add if you want.
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: So how does the new federal student loan program work? The one that was passed with Healthcare?
POST: I fund about half of my schooling with private student loans. I went to my financial aid office after the new student loan legislation was passed with the healthcare bill. They literally had no idea what I was talking about. I'm assuming this is because they are incompetent (my past experiences with them support this). Supposedly I no longer have to borrow from private institutions, I can loan directly from the Federal government? Anyone know any details about this? I googled and checked the whitehouse.gov website, and the FAFSA and other aid websites and haven't found anything other than a one liner stating "students no longer have to loan from private institutions, we've ended the massive subsidies."
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: What is the best/wittiest/clever way to make people stop asking "when are you getting married"?
POST: Just a little background: my boyfriend(24) and I(female, 25) have been together 8+ years, since sophomore year of highschool. We have recently graduated college and I've found a full time job while he is still looking.
For about the last 5-6 years we have known we will be together and get married one day but we've always said we'll wait till after college and we both have jobs to support ourselves (we really want to be independent from our parents before getting married).
We both know a wedding is coming and is in the nearish future for us just not sure when. I guess the issue arises whenever we visit either of our extended families. Everyone wants to know when we're gonna get married, why hasn't he proposed yet, whats taking so long, when is he gonna put a ring on that finger, etc...
My question for you all is what would be the best/wittiest/clever response that i can give these people? I'm tired of my usual response of "we're waiting til we both get jobs".
I would also like to add that I would like to take some of the pressure off of my boyfriend. It seems at times others assume we're not married/engaged because he hasn't proposed. Also being asked about when we're getting married does not annoy me or make me mad at the person who asked, I'm just looking for a new response.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Is there anything I [F22] can do to help my alcoholic cousin [M36]?
POST: My cousin [M36] has been married to a girl [F25] for about 4 years. As of the past year things have gone horribly wrong. The girl he once knew (fun, bubbly, not a care in the world) suddenly started to change. She's now very big into makeup, wants to party constantly, and has been caught frequently cheating on him as of last week. We knew that his relationship with her would be rough cause of the age difference, but now it's starting to become apparent. When he approached her about this change and cheating, she said he can "either deal with it or leave" (exact words). He was "dragging her down" in life and she wanted to "live a little". It's obvious that she's done with this marriage; she still wants to be with him, however, for financial support and she has admitted that.
He claims that his life would be over if he divorced her since he has no friends and all he has is us (since my uncle and aunt aren't the best parents...) and her. We told him that he needs to get away from her and that his life isn't over but he won't listen. He has resorted to drinking heavily; the past couple of weeks he has been calling us upset and we give him advice; he'll begin to drink, pass out, she gets furious with him, kicks him out, etc. We beg of him to leave but he says he "doesn't want to hurt her".
At this point, he keeps calling us, we tell him the same thing over and over again, he says no I need to deal with it, and drinks his life away. Is there anything we can do to help him, or is this something that he needs to fix on his own? I'm not sure what we COULD do... we've already suggested for him to move out and get away, come stay with us, go to counseling, etc. but nothing works so far. No friends or other family we can contact either. What else could we do?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: I [26F] Thought We Were ~Together~ He [32M] Thought We Were FWB
POST: He and I have been friends for nine years, I had a crush on him for about four or five of those years. I thought he loved me in the same way. We've always been one step away from a couple, our friends & family remarked upon it and even strangers thought we were together.
We started sleeping together two years ago after a lot of flirting, texting all day every day, and online dates (we didn't live near each other, then). I gave him my virginity, which was a big deal to me and he knew (at the time, I think) it was a Thing.
During these last two years, he's been attentive and caring. Nothing changed, really, except we were having sex. But we've always been close, I didn't really expect anything in our relationship to change except for us to become closer. I still live a couple hours away from him, but he was visiting every month. Every month we held hands, cuddled, went on dates, I'd make him food.
He's in the Guards and going to college, I am very involved with the raising of my nieces and am attending college where I live.
I thought we were living separate but equal lives, that eventually he'd get a job and we'd move in together once I was done with college and find my own work.
Two days ago, he sends me an email and says he's met someone and we have to stop having sex - but we're still friends so it's "not sad or anything like that".
I'm reeling from this. I honestly feel like I've been slapped. I thought we were in a happy relationship, now I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. I feel used & slightly ill, like he took advantage of my good nature and obvious love for him.
I need to let him go, I can't sit around and watch him be happy or fail with someone else, not when literally TWO DAYS AGO I thought he was mine. I can't even talk to him right now when I feel so betrayed and hurt, yet simutaneously feeling like I'm blowing it out of proportion.
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r/dogs
TITLE: Need Advice: To adopt another puppy, or not to adopt?
POST: My boyfriend [22/m] and I [22/fm] have recently adopted an American Staffordshire Bull Terrier-mix puppy named [Terra] from the Humane Society. We're both college Seniors, live an apartment, and have had her for a month and a half. She's almost 5 months old and is wonderful: intelligent, affectionate, willing to work/listen (for a treat of course!), easy to train, loves walks/runs, and well-tempered. Her only down side is her lack of knowledge when it comes to socializing with other dogs; she wants to play with every dog she sees, her tail wags wildly, and unfortunately she wants to paw them in the face or pounce to initiate play. Most dogs have been fine with this until I pull her back and make her sit, but it seems like she needs to learn some socialization manners. We love her to death and are considering adopting another female Staffie mix that's the same age. From a financial perspective, we can afford having two pups at once--even with the pet insurance and vet check-ups.
That said, we're not sure of a few things:
1) If it's too soon to adopt another pup/if they're too young
2) If it's not ideal to have two *female* Staffies in one apartment
3) If having two pups of the same age will make learning socialization etiquette for them easier or more difficult.
Of course meeting this new Staffie at the shelter (and perhaps bringing Terra to see if they get along, if allowed) would be ideal, but the Humane Society is two hours away so the earliest we can go is this upcoming weekend. Furthermore this new Staffie we're considering has been at the Humane Society since 10/7, so we're afraid someone else may adopt her or worse... Any advice will be appreciated!
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r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] am jealous of BF's [20M] ex [21F] and can't stop looking at her social media.
POST: My BF [20M] and I [22F] have been together 7 months. Previous to our relationship, we were best friends. When we first met in Summer 12' he was dating his now ex [21F]. His ex cheated on him several months later and he broke up with her. Flash forward to this past summer when we realized we were perfect for one another and fell in love.
Here's the thing: I cannot stop thinking about her or their past. I'm jealous of it, and I stalk her on social media. She seems like she was a much cooler person than I am, and she was quite thinner, too. I don't know why I can't stop wondering what her life is like or comparing her to me. I've been trying not to do this because it's toxic, but I can't help it, and I've never been jealous before.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to quit this? I don't want my bad habit of checking up on her to be an issue in our relationship.
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r/relationships
TITLE: Reaching Out Over Facebook?
POST: How should I think of someone with whom I had a short-lived romantic relationship over 6 years ago, but wants to get drinks, despite rarely contacting one another as Facebook friends?
I was 18 (male) and she was 20. We did a play together, kissed, were lovey dovey, and I ended up spending the night with her when she was interning at the Delacorte Theatre in Central Park. We didn't have sex-- just cuddled. Since then, we met and had dinner once in 2009 and have just kept in contact over Facebook. And we have not communicated regularly.
She is with a long term boyfriend, but messaged me in January saying "We should get drinks this year!". She lives in Brooklyn, so I thought the most polite thing to do would be to say that if I'm around, I'll let you know. She has said this sort of thing to me in the past, and I have basically given her the same response.
I don't think I would be satisfied with just catching up. We likely won't end up in a romantic relationship and I can only really think about her romantically. Because I only think about her romantically, I would rather just not see her altogether, then meet up and be disappointed.
Does this seem like a healthy way to think about this situation or am I failing to see the value of her intentions? The connection between us is pretty baseless at this point, so I guess I just feel guilty for sending her that kind polite of response more than once. Thanks.
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r/self
TITLE: I'm 17 and my parents are treating me like im 5, I have to make a major decision tomorrow.
POST: Sorry for a bit of a rant but here it goes. I'm 17, but my parents treat me like i'm 5. So the first 3 years of high school I wasn't too much of a social butterfly. I've been in all high level courses since 4th grade, and have been a pretty good kid. This last year and a half a lot of things have changed for me. I got myself a job, have had a few girlfriends, hang out with friends every second I get, and have really matured my social life. The problem is my parents WON'T let me grow up in the slightest. Every time im out of the house they are constantly texting me to update them where im at and who im with. They have called my work to make sure im there, and if I dont text them back, they instantly flip out saying im doing drugs and that im grounded and what not. Things have been on thin ice lately, and today was kind of the breaking point. I went fishing like I told them I did, but then ended up staying out late with a girl I like at her house. My parents flipped out that I wasnt home at the designated time, and are now threatening to take my car keys away and ground me for a month. I realize im not an adult yet, but im a senior in high school and im trying to slowly make my way out of my parents grasp and be a little independent. Tomorrow we are apparently having a huge talk which will involve my "punishment''. And honestly im thinking of just moving out for a little while with a buddy of mine. The point is, I need reddit's advice of what to do in my situation. Do I take the punishment and continue to live by their strict rules and not grow up, or do I make the leap to independence and move out. The only problem is, if I move out they said they will not help with my college funds, but I honestly cannot live under their tight grasp anymore... Help reddit!!!
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r/relationships
TITLE: May have missed an awesome chance...
POST: I'm a student (M19) who moved to a new city last september and I have been going out with a girl for over a year now who still lives in my old home town( Also 19), I actually broke up with my first girlfriend (of 3 years) for her.
However a few months ago i found myself really infactuated with one of my flat mates (again 19) and i even found out she liked me.
seeing as i'm in a different city as my girlfriend it didnt really feel like cheating telling this girl that i lijked her and we spent weeks talking and txting (i'm aware this is kind of a scummy thing to do)
Trouble is that on this new girls birthday (whilst drunk), we kissed and i panicked because i knew how bad this was and told her we needed to stop.
She obvioulsy felt extremely led on and hurt, after weeks of awkwardness i'd say we are friends again but i now know for certain i want to break up with my current girlfriend for the flat mate but i'm pretty sure i missed my chance.
I'm basically wondering if there is any way of telling if the flat mate stills likes me and how to break up with the current girlfriend without breaking her heart with the news i like somebody else.
(Sorry if this post was boring or anything, first post ive ever tried :/)
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r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19m] feeling more and more distant from my best friend/girlfriend [18f]
POST: I have known this girl for about 2 years, we don't really call our periods of time together dating, but we have been living together for the past 6 months.
Every time something emotional comes up in a discussion with my friend, we make ourselves unavailable.
Her modus operandi for handling stress is to "Just move on" and I understand where she is coming from, but when something has been coming up over and over again and I want to address it, that makes it hard. I get stuck on some things, things that are too personal to ask my friends about and things that she has made clear she does not want to discuss. I don't want to become too codependent but we should be able to talk about anything with a level tone and a clear goal, no?
Whenever she has a problem with me, she will tell me I'm hurting her by doing X, etc and I ask her why or what I can do to change it, not trying to completely rely on her input but since she brought it up I want a good starting point, usually she will then nix the conversation and I am then at a complete loss... Silence follows because I want to be able to address the issue she brought up but I can't. The few times where she has continued to talk she either melts down by crying or melts down by yelling.
We are living together, we are both trying to find work, and we have until the end of this month to figure out an income situation or we are on the streets. I am tired of hurting her when we should be focusing on the present, but whenever I am in a good mood she constantly asks me if I am ok, and I reassure her to just be here now, if anything changes I'll let you know, everything is positive and good and nice. But sometimes she keeps asking until I'm pissed off. Whenever she's in a good mood, she likes to complain about her family and make fun of people, etc, and I get butthurt because I see a lot of those traits that she is hating on in myself. I don't want to join in on hating the people she hates because I feel like a massive hypocrite.
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r/offmychest
TITLE: Getting dumped ruined my social life
POST: So about a month ago, my (now ex) girlfriend, 17, of almost 2.5 years decided to dump me. She hit me with the usual "it's not you its me/I need time to figure myself out" crap, which sucked. She did stress, though, that she wanted to remain friends, which I, at the time, to be a good idea, since giving up my best friend out of nowhere sounded like a shitty idea. Fast forward a month and I'm just now realizing that I have almost nobody. In the time we dated, my ex and I shared friends, all of whom have chosen her over me. People who I used to turn to in times of need now don't even respond to me or acknowledge me. I know this was sort of stream-of-conscience writing and I apologize, but I just need any sort of advice.
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r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] want to start a business but my girlfriend [20 F] is very negative.
POST: Relationship length: 3 months dating, a year as friends
I want to open a discount storage warehouse. At the moment I am a salesman specialising in high end storage. The thing is I am closing most of the deals and doing most of the work at the company.
My girlfriend doesn't share my enthusiasm though and wants me to stay in my current job at least until the house is built. It has put major strain on our relationship.
She thinks I am making way too much money to just quit. I argue that I could use my contact network to build my own client base.
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r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31M] with my non-binary partner [38 F-bodied] who's decided to surgically/medically transition
POST: I've been in a relationship with, let's say, Alex for almost a year after having known them for most of my life. Shortly after we got together, Alex told me that they had never really identified as a girl and wanted to be referred to using gender neutral pronouns and experiment with androgynous styles, presentation, etc. This didn't bother me at all. I think I was pretty supportive (minus a few mistakes which we talked over.)
As time passed, they started leaning toward top surgery (chest reconstruction, to get a more masculine chest) and taking testosterone. I had said early on that I didn't think the relationship could continue if they made physical changes, but Alex wasn't interested in doing so. Now they are.
I had tried to convince myself that I'd be able to give it a shot even if they did, but during a recent discussion I realized that I was lying to myself and couldn't be in a physical relationship with someone with a masculinized body. There's been a lot of crying on both sides since, and we're tentatively planning to stay together as long as we can.
This is the best romantic relationship either of us has ever had, and the best interpersonal relationship of any sort that Alex has ever had. I don't want to lose it entirely, but we're both devastated.
Earlier today, Alex said that I broke their heart. That really upset me. I agree that their decision is the right decision if it's what it takes for them to be comfortable in their own skin, but they're still the one with agency in this situation. I'm not sure if I should talk about how I felt when I heard that or let it go. I'm really not sure what to say or do overall right now.
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r/Pets
TITLE: Does anyone in /r/pets act as a foster home for animals?
POST: Looking at all the poor animals listed in my local classifieds that are being given away makes me sad. I've seen about ten or so ads in the last 24 hours from people getting rid of their pets because their families have had babies or adopted new pets, or they're not as well trained as they thought they should be... One even said that if they don't get rid of the cat in the next few days, they are putting it down, all because the cat peed on their daughter's bed when they left it alone to go on vacation!! Hmmm MAYBE DON'T LEAVE YOUR CAT ALONE FOR A WEEK and it won't pee on your bed?? Pets should be for life! Not just when it's convenient for you
I live in a big house with a big backyard and I would love to take in some of these poor babies that are running out of time and find loving/caring homes for them, regardless of a time frame.
I also have both a (indoor) cat and a dog who are very social with other animals and have more than enough toys/treats/food to share!
Does anyone else here do this? What are the costs involved? Is there any major issues that I might be overlooking like licensing or something like that? I'm not saying that I'd take in 20 + cats and dogs and be a crazy cat person... but maybe just one or two at a time from owners are getting fed up and are close to putting the animal down or don't want to look for a home for it anymore -- I don't know why they wouldn't just take them to the SPCA, there's lots of room last time I checked! But I'd even be willing to take them to the shelter if it was an older person or someone out of town who can't make the drive... I just can't stand the thought of people abandoning pets outdoors so close to winter (it will be -30 C soon!!) or putting them down just because they can't find someone to take them or don't want to surrender them at the shelter!
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r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16 M] with my [16 F Ex] 3 months, how do I talk to my girlfriends friends?
POST: Okay, so 9/13/16 was a early dismissal day, and my ex and I were going to go to my house and make out or whatever. She invited this guy, and they started talking, and they were just talking to each other and not to me and I did not know what to say to make them start talking to me so I just randomly walked away. This is not the first time I have done this, when we were friends freshman year she would be talking to her friends and I would just walk away.
I really fucked up, this was so stupid and I have shut my phone off and its been like 6 hours and I am afraid to turn my phone on. I don't know what to do, it feels real bad when I want to try and have a conversation with them but I do not know what to say. Any answers are appreciated :)
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r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] have gotten myself into an impossible situation. I know I am a terrible person, but just need advice with what to do...
POST: So basically, I'll say this now... I am cheating, but please read what I'm about to write here.
I am from the UK, and over the past year went to teach English in Japan. While I was there I met girl [20] and got into a relationship, where everything seemed good at first. After a few weeks my life turned into a living hell, she would shout at me, hit me, never have sex, get angry at me for no reason etc. I wanted to leave, but I know her mother had cancer, so I didn't want to make things harder for her as she did occasionally show her good side. So I put up with this situation for a year, and went back to the UK when my contract ended. I immediately felt a lot more relaxed, but knowing we were still together was still in my mind. We don't really talk often... maybe once a week and it consists of her complaining about things usually.
Anyway, I recently met a girl and for some reason kept this other relationship a secret.. maybe I just enjoyed feeling wanted and loved? I don't know. Anyway we are technically dating now... ( for a couple of weeks) but she still has no idea about this other girl in Japan.
I feel incredibly guilty about it, i've gotten myself into a situation I never wanted to be in :( I know what I have to do... I have to tell them both what's happening, right? How do I do that... But the longer I leave it the worse everything gets.
Anyway, I honestly have no one to talk to about this... I really need some advice... I know i'm a terrible person but I want to just fix this whole mess and never make this mistake again.
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r/relationships
TITLE: I [20f] am looking back on some friendships I've had in the past, would like some input.
POST: I'm not really someone that asks a lot of my friends. I don't feel very close to many of my friends. Sometimes they will ask things of me that I feel could be perceived as rude (asking me to cover for them and say they are with me when theyre not if their parents call me, high school) I rationalize this feeling of being slighted by telling myself that they would do the same for me, if I asked, tbough i usually don't need to (lenient parents). anyways, this all happened in the past so I'm sorry for the rambliness and awkward tense.
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r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the most simultaneously lucky and unlucky thing that's happened to you?
POST: I was headed over to a store about 10 minutes away just now to buy some beer cause the closer store has been out of mine since Thursday. I'm cruising along at about the speed limit and I see a deer on the edge of the road. I switch into the other lane since there is no oncoming traffic and the damn thing charges me and headbutts the passenger frontside of the car. It's brains go flying everywhere and it careens back over to the other side of the road, maybe the ditch.
When I get to some light I check the damage and it's just the tail light glass that's broken and some minor scratches on the bumper(no breaks). I get home and check the insurance and we have a $500 deductible. I check the cost of the part online and it's only $75.
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r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by dropping a tactless truth-bomb right at the face of my friend's girlfriend.
POST: We were out for a coffee at a beach bar: me, my friend, his girlfriend and two other single friends, one guy and one fit, smoking hot and a bit crazy gal. Having fun and a good time.
The girls left at some point, so the conversation shifted to boy stuff, commenting on the scantily dressed butts around us and discussing our girlfriends. We decided which girl from our group was the most fuckable and how we wished some of our girlfriends would get the clue and do some effort to lose some of the extra fat.
My friend's girlfriend had forgot her phone and returned to pick it up. She decided to stay for a bit before leaving again.
So, at this point, amidst the noon heat and humid drowsiness, my brain decided to be the Good Guy Wingman to my friend, and tell his girlfriend straight away what he thought, since it would be difficult for my friend to do so.
By spewing out the general feeling from our earlier conversation, that everyone male present around the table, including my friend, would like to fuck the fit girl that worked out, and that she should take the hint at last.
After a few minutes of sharp, unilateral verbal abuse, which even my Gunnery Sergeant couldn't top, I wanted the floorboards to open and the sand below to swallow me, and also had a desire to stand still while my friend's girlfriend landed full-force slaps at me, so she would vent at me and not my friend.
I hope that my friend doesn't get murdered tonight in his sleep.
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r/AskReddit
TITLE: Tips for a first time flyer?
POST: So, in a bit over a month I am going to be flying for the first time. And I am fucking terrified.
I am scared of heights (past about 10 feet scares me) and I'm scared of being over water as well (as in boats and stuff like that) and I am flying from Halifax (Canada) to Dominican Republic, so over a decent bit of water.
My friends have told me that its safer then driving, and that I should search about it. While doing so I found this "When risk is measured by deaths per passenger kilometer, air travel is approximately 10 times safer than travel by bus or rail. However, when using the deaths per journey statistic, air travel is significantly more dangerous than car, rail, or bus travel" And that scared the fuck out of me.
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r/relationships
TITLE: Issues with my (24f) photographer boyfriend (28 m), who feels that I don't support his hobby.
POST: Not too long ago I submitted [this post] about my being uncomfortable with my boyfriend wanting to take pictures of me.
I ultimately decided I wasn't comfortable being the subject of his photography at all, for nude shoots or clothed shoots. For some reason, the fact that he has done photoshoots with countless other exes really bothers me. I know that's not reasonable but I haven't been able to shake the discomfort.
I was waiting for the right moment to bring it up. For better or worse, it ultimately came out when he told me that he received a request on Model Mayhem from a female model who usually does work for pay, but wanted him to take her photos "pose for print" (she will pose and get free prints, and they both benefit).
I asked him if he got the impression anything about the shoot would be sensual or flirtatious, and in more words he basically said flirting brings out the best shots. I told him that I was uncomfortable with him shooting naked women and I was uncomfortable with him knowingly heading into a situation where he would be flirtatious with some other woman. Those are my hard limits on the situation.
Between telling him that I was uncomfortable with him shooting nude women, flirting with models, and photographing me, he took that as me being generally unsupportive of his hobby and even condemning it. I tried explaining that this wasn't the case. Unbeknownst to him I have been searching for the perfect photography-related birthday gift for awhile, including a cool place to go take shots and some photo books that would serve as inspiration.
I don't see myself becoming comfortable with being his "model" or him shooting nudes or flirting with models anytime soon. But I don't want to be so restrictive about a hobby he loves. Advice anyone?
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r/relationships
TITLE: I [21/M] broke up with my [20/F] girlfriend of 2+years, but did I do the right thing?
POST: I found out my girlfriend had been developing feelings for another guy. I found her secret tumblr and it had all these posts about how she finds his scent so comforting and how she wanted to kiss him really badly. We both know the kid as he is part of our mutual friend group. She didn't act on these urges but I still felt betrayed so I left her.
I should add that when I confronted her she adamantly denied these and told me that she wrote those because she was "angry and not thinking rationally". Was that a cop out on her part?
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r/Advice
TITLE: My mom won't let me go over my friend's house. Explanation of situation inside. Advice needed.
POST: Just to clarify, I'm 16. So I've had feelings for my best friend's sister for a while, but due to her being older than me and simply being my best friend's sister, I've decided not pursue any relationship. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done. I know it's the right decision, but it's been getting me down.
I'm also really close with my mom, and I talk to her about everything, so she knows the situation. Because she knows the situation, and she's seen how it's been depressing me, she doesn't want me to see this girl or talk to her anymore. Makes sense. But that also means I can't go over my friend's house. She thinks I only go over there to see her, which isn't true. She refuses to believe me.
So now I'm pissed off for a variety of reasons: not talking to this girl I really like, can't go over my friend's house, my mom doesn't trust me, and my mom thinks I've been using my friend to see his sister. I really don't like it when people think I'm a worse person than I am. It eats me alive. So when my mom, who I respect, thinks that I have been using my friend, it kills me. Whole lot of stuff getting to me.
What do I say to my mom? She's said that the only way i can go over my friend's house is if she talks to his parents about the sister, and i really don't want that, it's be super awkward. How can I navigate this? Thanks, and sorry for the angsty teenagery-ness of the whole thing.
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r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by freeballing in boxers (maybe nsfw?)
POST: So after I had a shower tonight, I realised that the underwear I'd taken with me to the shower actually had a hole in it. "Oh well" I thought, I don't really need them anyway. I proceeded to put on the random pair of comfortable shorts I'd taken with me and wear those for the rest of the night.
Fast forward a few hours and I'm about to go to bed. I decide that it would be appropriate to change into boxers to sleep in. I grab my trusty black pair and swap them over with the shorts I was wearing. At this point it actually did cross my mind to put on underwear but it seemed like a lot of effort for little reward since I was about to go to sleep anyway.
Before going to bed, I decide to make one last trip to use the tap in the kitchen which is just around the corner from the lounge room where my sister and her close guy friend were watching a movie.
What I didn't realise was that the black boxers I'd chosen had the buttons on the fly all undone and my gloriously white limp doodle was proper hanging out for all to see.
I walked all the way to the kitchen without realising. I have no idea whether they looked away from the screen, all I know is that if they did, they sure as shit didn't miss it.
All I can do now is painfully come to terms with the fact that my sister may have just gotten an eyefull of my junk and a lasting mental scar.
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r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by picking my nose.
POST: This is my first post here so please be merciful.
So it all starts earlier today. I was talking to my SO and she made a joke about me picking my nose so much that it's going to bleed one day. ( I really don't do it often, and I know it's gross, but she picks on me about it.) So I tell her whatever and we go about our day.
Later on, I was alone and I felt the intense need to get a booger that was driving me crazy. I figured I'm alone and there won't be anyone to judge so I'll take care of it.
I start getting after the nuisance and successfully extract it but in the process I scrape the inside of my nose. It didn't hurt too bad so I assumed nothing would come of it. I assumed wrong.
Within seconds I felt a warm wet feeling going from my nose and then DRIPPING off of my lip. I put my hand to it and then immediately pulled it back whenever I touched the wetness to see that apparently my nose was bleeding profusely. It took hours of holding my head back and a lot if Kleenex to make my nose stop bleeding. And I ruined a nice shirt while trying to stop it.
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r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by breaking a friends relationship of over 2 years up.
POST: I like to go out drinking at least twice a month just because why not? I'm young and like to have fun.
So yesterday I went out with my friend who's a girl and her two friends. We started the night pretty uneventful but I was drinking way more than I normally do because I was out with encouraging females. Anyway the night goes on and I'm told I have to pretend to be these girls' boyfriend because they're sick of getting hit on which I'm fine with as there was an abundance of creepy guys out.
We go to this bar at like 3am and lets call her Paige, (one of the girls I was out with) started rubbing her ass on me. I'm like fk it yeah ok, so I returned the favour and we started kissing, she whispered something in my ear like you should stop pretending and come back to mine. So about an hour later we go back to hers, do the deed 5x or something, no more cos' she couldn't take anymore lol.
Fast forward to this morning and Paige wakes me up repeatedly shouting "FUCK" and "WHAT DID YOU DO!" of course it was my fault...
She still made me breakfast and just said leave whenever, 8/10 would bang again.
Here's the fuckup. I texted her later on with "When's round two, since you couldn't handle the first round?😂😉"
It turns out her boyfriend her iPad and she gets her texts through to her iPad. She had to tell him everything. I didn't know she was seeing anyone. As she was more of an acquaintance that a friend. So yeah I double fucked someones life up. To top it all off her parents we out of town but her sister was home, she told her parents that I was there and not her boyfriend so now she's got to live with her nan.
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r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by playing Russian Roulette
POST: This was when I was in high school around 1993. We were in a friends basement playing pool and having a few beers. My friend's brother lived in the basement but wasnt home and had left his 38 snub nose revolver sitting on the mantle. My friend picked up the gun and jokingly said "Anyone wanna play Russian Roulette?" I jokingly said "yes". Now I had no intention of really playing, I was trying to shock them. First I snuck a look at the gun to see where the bullet was, it was the one before the chamber, perfect I thought, this thing is definitely not going to fire. So I put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger, BOOM!!!!!! I hit the ground, immediately and felt what I was sure was blood running down my face (it was just panic sweat). I thought this was one of the dumbest ways to die, really it was like those 10 seconds between hitting the ground and opening my eyes lasted a year. I slowly realized I was alive and felt my head over and over, I just couldnt believe I was alive. I guess at the last minute I chickened out (Thank the Lord) and pointed the gun up instead of at my head. It blew a whole in the basement ceiling, upstairs living room floor and lodged in the ceiling upstairs. I still to this day have a loud ringing in my ear that will never go away (nerve damage). I obviously dont like guns now. Turns out the bullet next the chamber is the one that fires, really wish I had thought about the word revolver before I made that stupid decision. I still have never told my parents what really happened. I dont want them to know they raised a moron.
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r/offmychest
TITLE: GF lied about having sex with her stepbrother and other stuff
POST: So I decided to look past the rumours in highschool of how "promiscuous" my current girlfriend was. And I actually got to know her as a person and I thought she was a really cool, genuine person. My whole life I've always been the one whose heart was broken, so of course I was scared of a relationship, especially with someone with ties to rumours of being very promiscuous. I won't go into too much detail, but okay. When I first got to know my girlfriend she told me about how she had to go visit her dad and her stepmom and meet her stepbrother and how she went travelling a bit and that she also traveled with a bunch of guys. And of course I'm kind of the jealous type so hearing all this made me worry about a lot of things, as to whether or not she did things with all these people. I always constantly worry and think of "what if" scenarios and I worry if she really DID do things with them. I just never thought that anything really happened, because she told me nothing happened and I eventually trusted her. But everything she's told me hasn't been matching up and I'm starting to think it's all a load of bullshit. And when I asked her if she did anything with them out of curiosity she said that she didn't. However today.. We were out on a date and we were talking about something and she casually told me how she really did do things with all those people. For example she told me she only had sex with an x amount of guys but today she admitted she had sex with her stepbrother, and the people she travelled with. And she tells me "she doesn't count those". I don't know it was just a huge shock to me and I'm just a really jealous person and I know this all happened before me and her started dating but it's just the fact that she lied to me.
TL;DR: |
r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Mouthing. My dog loves it, it is generally frowned upon, but I don't mind it. Should I stop it? If so, how?
POST: Hey there, I adopted a terrier/pit bull mutt thing about a year and a half ago. [Pics] He is a little over three now and weighs 42 lbs or so and he loves mouthing. He has since the day I got him. I was told the best way to avoid this was to just have a dog toy in hand. He is pretty well trained with the clicker and he listens very well. Although the terminology isn't standard he knows what I'm saying. For instance, instance of "drop it" I simply ask, "can I have it?"
This is all well and good but the problem is, after a certain point he just disregards toys. Fetch lasts about three or four tosses. It typically ends when i throw the ball and he just stands there and barks at me instead of going after it. Tug of war lasts about five minutes and he is super strong. I'm a decently big, strong guy and he can easily throw me off balance and make my arm look like a spaghetti noodle. Keep away with a ball lasts a bit longer. Once he gets tired of those things, he wants to wrestle and I mean wrestle. For whatever reason he loves getting tossed around. He is super high energy. His all time favorite game is trying to piss me off by barking in my face then making me try to catch/tackle him. We dubbed it rage mode. He sprints around the house and parkours couches while you try to catch him. Its hilarious. I know by playing his game it reinforces the barking behavior and I shouldn't do it, but I do anyways because it find it enjoyable as well. My fiancé on the other hand...
Now he doesn't mouth anyone unless it is apparent they want to play rough and he has known them for a bit. Little kids grab his face and everything and he just licks them. He is pretty easy going in general. Is his mouthing a concern? I don't mind it and he doesn't do it to really do it to anyone else.
TL;DR: |
r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by helping a friend pick out a bottle of lube for him and his girl (NSFW...ish)
POST: Technically this happened about a year and a half ago. A buddy of mine was interested in trying some back-door action with his girlfriend a little more regularly and wanted to find some decent lube. Me being a bro, decided I'd help him out. Off to Walmart we go! (Where else?). We get there, browse a bit and find what we were looking for. (AstroGlide for those curious). As we're in the checkout line he grabs a Monster energy drink and asks if I want one too...
Me: Nah, I'm good, thanks though.
Him: Oh, my money ain't good enough for you?
Me: Fine man, I'll have one, haha
So there we are - 2 bros checking out at Walmart with 2 energy drinks and a bottle of lube.........................
I have to say, props to the cashier for not saying a damn thing and keeping a straight face the whole time. We didn't realize what we had done until we left.
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: Falsely accused of being high during work. Similar experiences and/or advice out there?
POST: Hey Redditors :) I work at an online retail company. We were having some small inventory mix-ups (these have been going on for months and stem from system issues that started before I was hired). The other day my boss called me into his office after lunch - I had just gone for a walk on a hot day. He said "We're way off on inventory. I've been meaning to talk to you about this for awhile now: I need you to stop getting high during lunch." He claimed my eyes were red, and he said he's "known" for awhile. I take a walk almost every day and wear no sunglasses, so yes, my eyes get a little pink. I also have not smoked a bit of pot in the past 4 years.
During this conversation, my boss also mentioned that he didn't care if I was getting high - "some people can get high and function just fine" he said. This seemed like a warning flag to me as I'm not really into working in a place where the boss thinks coming to work high is OK. It also seemed like a convenient way for him to blame inventory errors on me, when there is no way one single person is causing them.
Straightaway after work I went and got a drug test to prove I'm clean. I'm considering leaving the company because I feel very targeted and uncomfortable. Thoughts?
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r/relationships
TITLE: [23/M] Advice for dealing with confusing emotions after first "hook up".
POST: Last weekend I traveled to nearby city to see a show and ended up meeting a girl who I was instantly VERY attracted to, which is pretty unusual for me. I could tell right away that the feelings were mutual, and we talked and danced late into the night. I was really impressed by her appearance, attitude and overall personality.
We ended up sleeping together. I had never experienced such a short time between meeting someone and having sex with them, but the desire was just so overwhelming it seemed like there was no stopping it. It was a mind-blowingly great night.
Now I have a strange mixture of emotions which I'm not sure how to approach. I'm mostly just really excited and happy that I met her and that we had that time together. However, I am having strong feelings of wanting to see her again and get to know her better and actually go on a date. She is of a similar mindset, and wants to see me again when I go back there in a couple weeks.
I guess I don't really have a point or a specific question. I mostly just wanted to write this out and organize my thoughts on the subject. Feel free to respond with your thoughts.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [M/41] cheated because I [F/22] make him feel inadequate, is it foolish to think this can be fixed?
POST: I hope everyone is having a wonderful Sunday and has had a great weekend :)
So a little background- I met my SO at work, we hit it off straight away, started dating and have been together for just a little over 5 months. It's not all that long and I thought things were going rather well. Until he told me that he'd slept with someone else because he doesn't feel like he's enough when he's around me. He told me he worries every time I'm around men closer to my age. And that he got tired of the whole dynamic and in a moment of weakness slept with someone. A woman almost the same age as him.
I shan't lie, I've not always been the warmest or most affection person it's not the way I am but I adore the man. And I had been making a conscious effort to let him know that I do and not be as distant as I can be sometimes. He makes me happy, and he's apologized numerous times, I like to think this is something we can work through.
I've been trying to figure out if there is anything more I can do, or if this is just something that can't be fixed. Any thoughts and advice is much appreciated- thank you for your time!
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] think my crush [20F] likes me back. But one thing prevents me from knowing 100%.
POST: Long story short, I feel as though I have most of the clues to realize that my crush possibly likes me back. We talk a lot, especially online, and it's always great. We hung out a bit more last school semester, and it always went wonderfully. Even physical contact has increased. But the fact remains that she is still not my girlfriend, simply because I haven't asked her out. And I'll tell you why I'm extremely hesitant to.
Like I mentioned, we talk a lot online. There's one thing that always bothered me though. Once in a while she will refer to me as "bruh" or "dude". Now me personally I use these words only with people I'm really great friends with, and usually I only use them towards other male friends. The fact that she calls me "bruh" leads me to think that maybe she just sees me as a really great friend, and nothing more. Am I just overthinking this? I feel like I am, but I just kinda wanted to know what other people thought.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My[24M] girlfriend [24F] has decided that she doesn't want to have sex anymore until we're engaged. Am I being selfish to not want to wait?
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months now. Recently, I had to move away to start medical school, which was on the table when we started dating, and we both decided that we would be willing to try to keep a LDR going. Before I left our sex life was great, but before I left, she said that she didn't want to have sex until I proposed. I'm already not going to be there physically for 3 months at a time, and it just seems to me that if and when I would want to propose, I wouldn't want to do it based off of a sex blackmail. Lately, I've wondered about implications of this, because I don't want to be a long term relationship where sex is used as a bartering tool. Am I being a typical guy or am I thinking in a generally correct direction?
TL;DR: |
r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How should I [F21] talk to my boyfriend [M21] about insecurities regarding my best friend [F21]?
POST: Lets call my best friend Ashley and my boyfriend Dan.
Background: All three of us are students at a certain tech university in Boston where I study a less computational science (biochem) and Ashley and Dan both study more math-y subjects (comp sci and pure math, respectively). We are all juniors in college. During freshman year, Dan was pretty smitten by Ashley based on their common interests and the fact that she is pretty and an all-around cool person. They had become best friends during the first month of freshman year, until Dan told Ashley how he felt and she rejected him. Their relationship now is still a bit awkward.
During March of freshman year, dan and I began hanging out a lot and we slowly realized that we both had feelings for each other, so we started dating. At the time, he was still hurt by Ashley's rejection, and they didn't really talk anymore. He and I began our relationship, had a couple communication issues, but stayed strong and are pretty happy together. We've now been together for almost 2 years.
However, whenever I mention Ashley around Dan (which is often considering we're close friends) he always mentions her intense major (a sensitive topic for me because some people at my uni don't consider my major to be very rigorous) and at times tends to subtly insult her. I think these comments arise from him being insecure about her rejection, but I'm not sure.
My question is: should I bring this up with Dan, and if so, how? Or, how should I keep from feeling 'not smart enough' or not studying an interesting enough subject when we talk about her?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my ? [24 F] 1 month, I'm just not sure how I feel and I need someone to talk to about this
POST: So I met this girl, and we hit it off rather quickly. She's very nice, and very intelligent.
In the past when I've met a girl like this, I've been very happy and can't shut up about her. While she's very nice, and I enjoy spending time with her, I don't feel this way. I think.
We've spent a lot of time together in just the last week, and it was truly fun. You might ask, "what's the problem?". I don't know. When she texts me I sort of put it off for a few minutes, but if another friend texts me I reply instantly. Maybe it's that we spent way too much time together this weekend and I'm burnt out a little?
She's SO nice to me, like it's almost crazy how attached she's gotten to me in such a short amount of time. Almost like a girlfriend I've been dating for years. I don't understand it. I'm not a particularly good looking guy, I'd say I'm average. In terms of intelligence, I believe she far passes me. She could do better.
I think part of this is that I'm on and off attracted to her physically. Some days I will think she's pretty, and other days I don't see it.
Then I think this is a small key to the problem here. Before I met her, I was planning on moving in about 2 months, and I feel like if I be with her and commit to her, I will be held back in what I really wanted to do before I met her. I wanted to move out of state really, really badly. I wanted to get a better paying job in a new state and sort of start over since I'm still a young guy with a good degree. Nothing is otherwise wrong staying here, I just feel a bit jaded here.
I feel like I'm forgetting details, so I will try and update this if I think of something.
I don't bring this up with my friends, because I feel they will not understand. I just really want someone to talk to about this that's an objective party.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my girlfriend[29 F] 1 year relationship. Should I tell everything.
POST: Me and my girlfriend have been fighting a lot lately. I think it is because we both drink together and I know for me this brings out the worst in me.
Last week we were at a party and I had to much to drink and I wanted to go, she took offence to this thinking I wanted to leave her and it ended in a big fight with her saying our relationship is done.
I left, and I tried to talk to her the next day and she said our relationship was borderline abusive and didn't answer the rest of my texts. I was devastated and thought it was over.
My friend took me out to cheer me up and we ended up drinking way too much and I ended up at a strip club and got a lap dance, and afterwards at a massage parlour with a happy ending. Though I was not able to perform as I had too much to drink.
My girlfriend called me yesterday and we met up and she wants a fresh start this makes me happy and I promised to stop drinking for the foreseeable future. We both promised to make changes.
I am just so guilty about that night and think it may have doomed the relationship. I feel like such a piece of trash. I am so guilty and I keep puking my food up due to anxiety and feel sick constantly. I want to tell her what happened tonight and see if she still wants to be with me. A lot of my friends say not too say anything but I cannot live with this.
Is there anyway I can save this relationship?
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: My [28m] gf [26f] of 3 years went from 90lbs to 145lbs. Help, please.
POST: First of all I know how hard it is to talk to anyone about weight. Tough love does NOT work with her and it's not anything I'm interested in doing. But my girlfriend gained so much weight and it has completely killed my attraction to her. There's just one problem.
She gained all this weight because she's in recovery from an eating disorder. She slowly put on the first 20lbs and I was in favor of that because of course when I learned she was so small because of her eating disorder, no way in hell did I want her to stay that small and risk hurting herself. I love her. I swear, i love her more than I've ever loved a woman and more than I ever could.
But it's just... the wya her stomach hangs down now. She has the thing you call a fupa because of the way her skin had to stretch out. I guess when she was an early teenager she was like 200lbs (she's 4'11') and she used throwing up and starving herself (so EDNOS) to keep her weight down, and then a life event triggered her to lose a ton of weight again.
I don't know how to handle this. How do I tell her that if we're going to be together, I need her to put some effort into losing a LITTLE weight? I don't mean even 90lbs again. 120. Hell 130 might work. I just don't want to have to feel her stomach against me or see her flabby thighs wobbling this summer because it will kill the attraction even more.
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what's something that's happened in the last few days that made you feel pretty damn awesome?
POST: After having slept terribly, fretting over school and regretting my new stupid haircut, I was having a less than stellar morning. I was waiting in line for coffee before class and an old woman came up to me, lightly touched my arm and said, "My, look how pretty you are!" The only stunned reaction I could muster was a shy smile and a thank you. As a girl with visible tattoos and a kind of "high fashion" sense that comes off weird in the small town I live in, it was really rare to receive such a sweet, genuine compliment from a total stranger. Needless to say, it made my day. So Reddit, what's happened to you lately that's made you feel sort of awesome? It can be a compliment, an accomplishment, or any little life thing that left you feeling euphoric. Let's bask in our happiness for a little while :)
TL;DR: |
r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Newly married [32/m] with lots of frustration and lack of passion for life. I deserve a smack in the back of the head.
POST: We have been together for five years, married this year after a 2 year engagement.
From the outside, we should be two very happy people. Our happiness level is not good, both of us have a lot of work frustrations. We bought our first house a month before we got married, and are better off financially than most of our friends and even family friends (annual income wise this is true, we have zero financial buffer)
Every day we end up texting eachother about problems at our jobs. Sunday night I end up with insomnia thanks to my feelings of dread going to work on Monday.
We both work a lot of hours, and our job stress is affecting everything. Poor diet, lack of exercise, both of us have gained weight this year.
Her desire for sex is more frequent than mine. I barely have any interest in masturbating, never-mind the effort in properly satisfying my wife.
I am quite frustrated and feel very trapped. I am regretting the decision to buy a house and "settle down". I fantasize about us quitting our jobs and just spending time traveling overseas.
I don't know what to do here.. The responsibilities are overwhelming and this constant feeling of unhappiness has killed my passion. We never have sex during the week, instead we basically do nothing but work, eat, and sleep.
Any thoughts on how to break out of this cycle? Part of me thinks the best thing to do is try to focus on a healthy lifestyle (stop drinking, exercise more) and things will work out. but the trapped feeling prevents me from putting any such plan to action.
My current job situation is alone something that is frustrating and miserable. I am failing to find a way to keep that misery from following me home. I am seeking another position, but it will take a serious amount of time to find something to support our financial obligations.
TL;DR: |
r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not being patient at a restaurant.
POST: So this actually happened today about 2 hours ago. Me and my sister work together in a mall and after work we would get picked up from a friend and go to chili's. we got there at 10:40 and they closed at 11:00 pm and we could tell the waitress didn't want to serve us. So we get our food and get ready to pay the bill, my friend payed for herself using the tablet installed at the table and my sister and I split our meals so the total came to about 30 dollars we split the cash and wait for the waitress to come over and get the cash from us but she was busy cleaning so she could get out of there I assume. So we decide since she's busy and doesn't realize we are paying cash I'll go hand her the money and leave. So we get up and start walking out and I go up to her and say "excuse me" and give her the 35 dollars she looks down at the money and back at me with a huge smile on her face and says "Oh my god! Thank you! Merry christmas and happy holidays!" In a really happy voice. I knew instantly she though I tipped her 35 dollars and didn't realize that was the bill amount. So embarassed I left the place quicks. My sister and friends saw the whole exchange and made fun of me for looking like a dick once the waitress realize I only tipped her 5 dollars not 35.
TL;DR: |
r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm (17/m) concerned about my Girlfriend's (17/f) clingy ex (18/m). Advice on how to proceed?
POST: I've been dating my fantastic girlfriend for about 2 months now. She's a great girl who I harboured a crush on for a while, she became single about 5 months ago and we quickly hit it off and things have been going great. The situation with her ex is really screwed though.
Basically this guy broke it off with her (no longer had feelings he said) in March, she was naturally heartbroken as he was her first everything. They dated for just under a year and it wasn't the greatest relationship, she has issues with self esteem and depression and he wasn't great and would often make her feel worse. Anyways after he broke up with her, he insisted on remaining friends, she wasn't for it but went along anyways. This consisted of him basically messaging her every day on facebook, telling her about his day, with her replying "mmm" and "oh yeah" (often she'd cry as this dumbass would tell her his attempts at chasing tail, oblivious to the effect it had on her). She starts talking to me 2 months ago, we hit it off and our relationship is going great, except for this guy. 5 days ago after seeing the negative effect he was having I finally told her to end it completely with him (I was diplomatic before and told her she could do what she wants). She's blocked him on everything except her phone through which he texts her long, sad, needy essays every day that make her feel sad and cause her to come crying to me. She ended it 5 days ago and has not replied or talked to him since so you'd think he'd get the message but alas, he says texting her is "calming" for him and he'll continue even if she doesn't read it or changed her phone (which she can't do because she needs it). We have major exams coming up in 1 week and I'm at my wits end, I used to be quite calm but its starting to get infuriating, should I advise her to:
1. Keep ignoring
2. Reply and tell him sternly to just stop (she's tried before)
3. Confront him on facebook or something
Please help guys!!
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: What phrase pisses you off the most when used in an argument? Mine is "I'm just saying..."
POST: Phrases, words, fallacies, etc. In what way do people argue that gets you raging? Why? Elaborate!
When someone responds to a point I'm making with "I'm just sayin'!", that's usually the point in a discussion where (in my head, at least) lasers shoot out of my mouth in an explosion of Michael Baysian proportions.
In my purely anecdotal experience, people use this phrase after I've made a rebuttal to their argument and they have no way to directly respond. When someone says "I'm just saying", they're saying "I'm saying this just to say it." It's an attempt to rebut, accepted as one by the person saying it, but actually adds absolutely nothing to their point. If you're saying something just to say it, but using it as a rebuttal in an argument, WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN?!
TL;DR: |
r/AskReddit
TITLE: What kind of issues do you have with any of your family members (or people in general) and in what ways has karma come back to bite them in the ass?
POST: I remember this one time when my family was out fishing at the pier, my parents lent my younger sister one of my jackets. I think this was when I was about 10. Of course, I'm very possessive over the things I own, because of many instances similar to that one time where I brought home a small bag of candy as a gift from my teacher only to find it in my sister's stocking Christmas morning (and having only ate a few pieces)... The anger and tears I shed only to get myself punished for putting up a tantrum... And no candy. :(
Anyways, I told my parents I didn't want her to have it. The jacket wasn't really an issue. The issue was that they didn't ask me before just giving my things away. (They did this often. They gave away my newly acquired (but used) Dreamcast and games because I already had an N64. I didn't even get to use it more than twice.) They brushed me off. Fine. I silently fume for a while. Literally 5 minutes later, a seagull flies by, and lands a shit right on the jacket she's wearing.
And I laughed in her face and refused to take that jacket back.
My sister didn't really do anything, but to a child's mind, even an unwitting accomplice was still an accomplice.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [23F] only responding with one-word texts
POST: Hey, i'm a 25M and my girlfriend is a 25F. We have been together for approximately 8 months, and have an unbelievable chemistry together. As of a few days ago she has been responding to my text messages in vague, one-word responses. She is normally very loving and caring, but has been acting very distant these past few days compared to normal. Last night on the phone, she said her body was not taking her hormone changes too well (she just switched birth control). Could the new birth control be causing her to act this way, or is she losing interest? I suppose it's hard to tell but any insight would be helpful! Thanks.
Also I realized I typed 23 in the title, I meant 25. Honest typo mistake.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Will being attached early-on cause problems down the road? [19F,20M]
POST: My boyfriend [20M] and I [19F] have been together for about 9 months. We have a really solid relationship and I love him very much. We met at college so for some parts of the year we are long distance.
My issue is that I think I am too attached to him. We are very close and we pretty much tell each other everything, but for me I really have become dependent on him. Whenever we say goodbye for a couple of weeks there's a 99.9% chance that I will be in tears and it literally breaks my heart so leave him.
I know this jut sounds like an overemotional girl, but I'm really concerned about it. Am I too young in life and in this relationship to be this upset and dependent? It honestly frightens me how much I need him and I don't know what to do about it. I love him more than anything and I know he feel the same way, but he definitely does not have these attachment issues like I do. It makes me feel crazy and pathetic to feel the way I do, but I don't know how to change it. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting ahead of myself...like I act as though a woman who has been dating her man for years and they are about to be married or something.
Am I crazy reddit? Is this just what love does to you? I'm just worried that my need for my boy will become problematic in the future. Long distance is difficult by itself but I fear that my attachment issues will continue to make it very difficult and potentially cause problems later on. I'd really appreciate any insight, advice or stories.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my Father [58 M], a distant relative is sick and my father wants me to visit.
POST: I'll try to keep this brief. A distant family member, someone who I've maybe met once or twice in my life is sick and about to pass away. My father, upon hearing this news immediately jumped on a plane and flew across the country to visit.
This all came very unexpectedly because as I've said, this is not a person I really knew growing up. I had to ask my father how he was related to us because I didn't even recognize his name. My father rarely visited or kept in contact with his family when I was a kid except for a few cousins. So I was shocked that he flew out here, considering he has to so carefully plan his visits here that he missed my college graduation.
So aside from my admittedly petty bitterness about my dad's traveling schedule, he is insisting that I come with him to visit this relative after I get off work tonight. I'm currently on the second day of a six day, possibly seven day work week, and I work 12 hours a day. This visit would also require a two hour roundtrip, aside from the painfully awkward small talk time I would have to sit through for possibly hours on end. I simply do not want to go. I'm tired and stressed. I barely know this man and his family, and I just went through an incredibly difficult ordeal last month dealing with the loss of my grandmother. I'm too emotionally exhausted to deal with this kind of thing right now, and I seriously doubt my presence would be missed. I feel like my father just wants to show me off, despite the fact that he has little to do with my accomplishments.
So am I a terrible person for not wanting to go? I should add that I do feel a bit guilty about not making the time to spend with my father, but whenever he comes to visit he routinely asks me to keep entire days free so that we can spend time together, but then blows me off because he gets too stoned to function.
TL;DR: |
r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22/F] with my Mom [56/F]. We argue a lot, want to change that
POST: I live at home with both of my parents. My mother and I bump heads too much, and I must admit it is my fault and I really want to change that. There are many different scenarios and stupid little things that get this started, but I just want it to stop. My mom is an amazing person and I know she means well, and that whatever advice she gives or anything she has to say, she only says it because she wants the best for me but I always end up getting offended/hurt and I go off on her.
Last night we talked about something really dumb, and I hurt her feelings without realizing it. She came to my room and told me that I needed to pretty much tone it down a bit, that she will take anything from me as she is my mother, but other people won't and that's when I'll have problems. To be honest, this hurt me, the fact that she was telling me my flaws in my face and that I need to change them a bit hurt my feelings. That's when I told her hers and we got into a big confrontation. Like I said, I know she means well, but I can't control my emotions. I felt hurt and I didn't want to seem weak so my immediate reaction is to be angry, at her.
I want to find a way to be a better daughter, because it seems like I only have this problem with her. I'm not like this with my boyfriend, or anyone else. I always seem to be in a defensive mode towards her and I can't control it.
I really want to have a better relationship with her, I just don't know where to begin
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r/relationships
TITLE: [21/f] My ex-bf (22/m) broke up with me suddenly, says he's depressed/angry and needs to isolate himself. Can I get him back?
POST: On Friday, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me. He said he really likes me but didn't feel like we were progressing. He was crying and seemed really torn about it. Yesterday, we went around in circles all day discussing things. This time he said he's "crazy about me" but is too depressed and angry right now, he needs to isolate himself. He also said he thinks maybe after he moves, if we end up in the same place we can try again. From what he says I don't feel like he's dumping me for the right reasons. He frequently says he really likes me and I "just don't get it". I sent him a lengthy message this morning but he wakes up late so it'll be a while. He's moving 2.5 hours away in January. I told him we should continue things until then and re-evaluate our relationship when he moves. I know I haven't given a ton of info, but I'll answer any questions. Any advice here?
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r/relationships
TITLE: My [29F] boyfriend [28M] can't seem to listen to what I want and he's driving me crazy!
POST: My bf and I have known each other for nearly 5 years now and have been together for almost a year. We have lived together for the last 5 months and he's driving me absolutely crazy.
The problem is he can't seem to *listen* to what I want. A good example is my computer. I have a laptop that we often use in the living room, we plug it into the TV to download and watch things. I told him specifically not to shut off my computer because I often leave it in the middle of things that I'm just going to come back to later and if he shuts it off I lose my place. I've told him NOT to turn off my computer countless times. But he does it anyway, and then gets mad when I get mad at him for going against my wishes. The last time it happened it was right in front of me and I said, "Please don't shut it down." He replies, "You need to shut it down every once in a while." And then proceeds to shut it down.
Another good example is the past couple days. His work schedule got changed and I wasn't expecting him home. Since it was going to be hot as balls outside and I hate heat I was planning on staying in and he knew it. Not only that but I'm in an extremely stressful situation with my family and needed a little me time and he knows that too. He spent the last two days bugging me relentlessly to do something and entertain him and was trying to make me feel like the laziest person on Earth for not wanting to do anything.
It pisses me off so much because he seems to have this air of condescending superiority whenever I make a mistake and whenever I call him out on it he gets extremely defensive and starts telling me about how I have an attitude all the time. I'm basically discovering that he thinks he can do no wrong.
He's never been like this before. I honestly think he's gotten too comfortable in the relationship, but I don't know what to say to get through to him.
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r/loseit
TITLE: You know those months where everything goes against you?
POST: Thought this was going to be one of those months. I do my monthly measurements every 22nd, and April 22 just so happened to be the day my girlfriend of 3 years leaves me out of the blue for a total stranger. I had been on such a roll before that--tracking all my food, working out, etc.
After that though, I was just...stuck. Hardly moved for the first week, didn't sleep, didn't care what I was eating, but then I started to think to myself "What is this helping?" "Who is this hurting?" and forced myself to get back on the horse.
My eating was still erratic--ate well for the most part, but didn't track like I had been, but I stated murdering workouts again and pushing harder than I ever really had (dropped my 2.5 mile pace from 7:51 to 6:47, gained ~15 lb on bench).
Still though, with the heartbreak, finals, job searching, and diet going from perfect to much less so, measurement day was weighing heavily on me. I had weighed myself a few times this month and noticed I was gaining a bit, and while I understood there were excuses, I was still bummed.
Stepped on the scale today--sure enough, +5 pounds over this last month, from 181 to 186.
BUT body fat went down from 15% to 14.2%! Seeing that number--especially after the month I've had was one of the more satisfying things I've ever seen, and extra motivation to keep going.
Numbers for reference: (M/5'10 1/2--25 y/o)
Starting: 217 lb in September, 24.3% BF on February 22
Current: 186 lb, 14.2% BF
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r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my friends [22 M/F], always on their phones!!!
POST: My friends are good people, I love em, but when we hang out, I often get left sitting in silence while they have their face in a phone. I get it, you text and do so many things on these little computers, I have one too. But it is so weird to me that I have friends who don't think this is weird! Maybe I'm just a snob?
I am here to ask- is it appropriate to call them out? We joke with each other enough that I know they wouldn't take it poorly if I gave them shit, but maybe I'm unreasonable? I'm just kinda sad that I am having a hard time holding conversations, because of the phones.
Even older people who I used to always be able to talk to, they sit on the phone now too instead of being friendly. I have started feeling more and more awkward interacting with strangers because no one talks anymore!
Maybe its my ego making me look down on this, but I'm looking for someone to maybe give me some perspective. For reference I'm talking >5min can go by where I just sit there while everyone else is totally zoned out on facebook or whatever. Or longer stretches of time where they are only half involved in hanging out, because they're having conversations over text or playing games. They don't notice it, so I wanna give them shit. Thoughts?
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r/relationships
TITLE: I [17m] am having a problem with my sister [17f] and the girl I like, which is her friend [18f]
POST: My sister has a friend who I am very attracted to. I have been for a while (3-4 months), but I didn't have the balls to ask her out. She got a boyfriend a few days after Christmas, and it hurt.
Anyways, we hang out together a lot. My sister is kinda childish, and she asks kiddie questions a lot. One in particular was "who do you like?" I've never been in a relationship, so it's not a bad question. The thing is though is that the person I like is right by me, and she is in a relationship. I say "can't tell" to her, and she doesn't get the message. She doesn't know I like her, to my observations. Maybe she does. Should I tell her that I like her friend, and it would be awkward to say that in front of her? I want her to stop asking me because it gets on my nerves and it hurts me because I already am angry.
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r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28M] with my girlfriend [25F] of two months, problem with TOO much sexual chemistry.
POST: So this is definitely a good problem to have obviously. I started going out with this girl two months ago because we really connected with our backgrounds, interests and shared goals and dreams. We both took it slow at first because both of us have had some bad relationships in the past and have difficulty opening up. It was amazing because we would spend at least four hours a night talking about anything and everything. We flirted a LOT but didn't do anything more than give each other a peck on the lips until last week.
That changed on Friday when we finally started making out. Turns out both of us are incredibly physically compatible. It's a little ridiculous actually, I would talk about how epic the chemistry is but I think people would think I was humblebragging.
We still talk on the phone and have awesome conversations, but the physical aspect of our relationship is taking over when we're together in person and we barely talk about shared interests, dreams and ambitions or anything really other than how much we turn each other on now when we meet.
The way things are going on, I doubt they'll cool off since she's told me she has a really high libido (this is just the way she is normally) and mine is pretty high as well. if anything she tells me that I "haven't seen anything yet".
So my question is: should I be concerned? How do I make sure our emotional intimacy keeps developing while we get physically intimate? Turns out that she has no problem with incredibly public displays of affection and I can't say I mind either, so just being out and about isn't going to help. How do I make sure our relationship stays balanced?
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r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] am being jealous of my girlfriend [21 F] who keeps talking about a co-worker
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly a year now, its a wonderful relationship. We live in a (too) expensive apartment, she deals with college stress and I deal with work stress.
She works at her school, and recently an ex worker was rehired. At least twice a week she talks about him in a negative light to me. She apparently took his promotion when he left, so she says he is jealous about that.
But she is constantly talking about it, "X is such a jerk" "X said this to me". Today, she even had a dream about X and in it, he was saying mean things to her or something. I didn't push it.
I don't know how to feel, if he's being a dick to her and she is feeling really bothered by it then I am totally with her. But, I'm also feeling (irrationally?) jealous of the amount of airtime he gets.
I really think I'm being dumb, I'm in a very anxious time of my life right now with trying to pay rent, but freaking X bothers me, in both a 'he makes my girlfriend sad' department, and a 'I'm jealous of him' department.
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r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the coolest thing you know about one of your ancestors or dead relatives?
POST: Was talking with my Grandpa at Thanksgiving dinner earlier, he said that one of my Great-Great-Great Grandfathers was living in Indiana at the beginning of the Civil War, and got drafted to fight for the Union. When he didn't show up, they sent someone to get him from his house. As the man was coming up the stairs in his house to drag him to the war, he shot the man dead. He then fled to Canada and returned after the war was over and continued on with his life.
Thought it was pretty cool and one of the more interesting things I've heard about my dead relatives.
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