  We examine a real electroweak triplet scalar field as dark matter, abandoning
the requirement that its relic abundance is determined through freeze out in a
standard cosmological history (a situation which we refer to as a 'miracle-less
WIMP'). We extract the bounds on such a particle from collider searches,
searches for direct scattering with terrestrial targets, and searches for the
indirect products of annihilation. Each type of search provides complementary
information, and each is most effective in a different region of parameter
space. LHC searches tend to be highly dependent on the mass of the SU(2)
charged partner state, and are effective for very large or very tiny mass
splitting between it and the neutral dark matter component. Direct searches are
very effective at bounding the Higgs portal coupling, but ineffective once it
falls below $\lambda_{\text{eff}} \lesssim 10^{-3}$. Indirect searches suffer
from large astrophysical uncertainties due to the backgrounds and $J$-factors,
but do provide key information for $\sim$ 100 GeV to TeV masses. Synthesizing
the allowed parameter space, this example of WIMP dark matter remains viable,
but only in miracle-less regimes.
