  Motivated by the recent discovery of unconventional charge order, we develop
a theory of electronically mediated charge density wave formation in the family
of kagome metals $A$V$_3$Sb$_5$ ($A=$K,Rb,Cs). The intertwining of van Hove
filling and sublattice interference suggests a three-fold charge density wave
instability at T$_{\text{CDW}}$. From there, the charge order forming below
T$_{\text{CDW}}$ can unfold into a variety of phases capable of exhibiting
orbital currents and nematicity. We develop a Ginzburg Landau formalism to
stake out the parameter space of kagome charge order. We find a nematic chiral
charge order to be energetically preferred, which shows tentative agreement
with experimental evidence.
