  The scope of dijet resonance searches at the LHC has recently been enlarged
by novel experimental techniques such as data scouting. In this work, we
reinterpret ATLAS and CMS analyses to set robust constraints on all
hypothetical tree-level scalar and vector mediators in the mass range between
50 and 5000 GeV, assuming a diquark or a quark-antiquark coupling with an
arbitrary flavor composition. To illustrate the application of these general
results, we quantify the permissible size of new physics in $\bar B_q\to
D_q^{(*)+} \,\{\pi, K\}$ consistent with the absence signals in dijet resonance
searches. Along the way, we perform a full SMEFT analysis of the aforementioned
non-leptonic $B$ meson decays at leading-order in $\alpha_s$. Our findings
uncover a pressing tension between the new physics explanations of recently
reported anomalies in these decays and the dijet resonant searches. The
high-$p_T$ constraints are crucial to drain the parameter space consistent with
the low-$p_T$ flavor physics data.
