Conservative Party (UK)

{{bronze}}[[File:Conservative_Logo1.jpg|thumb|right|165px|A money tree, planted with the remains of the poor, gay, disabled, and elderly.]]{{UKpolitics}}
{{cquote|This is what you get with one party politics: the country's future reduced to uni chums arguing with each other.|||[[Nick Clegg]] on [https://twitter.com/nick_clegg/status/701462045917626372 Twitter]}}
The '''[[Conservative]] Party''' (or the '''[[Tories]]'''), fully titled the '''Conservative and Unionist Party''', is one of the two to seven (depending on who you ask) major [[political parties]] in the [[United Kingdom]], and like most political parties it has distinct factions which gain and lose internal power over time. Their only unifying principle is to defend the profit structure of capitalism against any real or perceived threats to their privileged status.

They are currently the opposition party, with 121 MPs in the [[House of Commons]] (down from 365 after the 2019 election following a disastrous 14 years in government) and 276 Lords in the [[House of Lords]] opposite the ruling [[Labour Party]].<ref>[https://www.parliament.uk/mps-lords-and-offices/lords/composition-of-the-lords/ Lords by party, type of peerage and gender], UK Parliament website</ref><ref>[https://www.parliament.uk/mps-lords-and-offices/mps/current-state-of-the-parties/ Current state of the parties], UK Parliament website</ref> This is an exception rather than the rule, as they have won 30 out of 58 elections they have contested since their official founding in the 19th century. It helps that almost every newspaper is in bed with them.

==History==
{{cquote|A [[David Cameron|Cameron]] government would be more [[Aristocracy|aristocratic]] and even narrowly Etonian… Sharply contrasting especially with striving and classless perspective of the grocer’s daughter, Margaret Thatcher.|||Sidney Blumenthal<ref>Fenton, Siobhan, [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/hillary-clinton-emails-describe-david-cameron-as-inexperienced-and-boris-johnson-as-a-clown-10434193.html "Hillary Clinton aide emails describe David Cameron as 'aristocratic and inexperienced' – and Boris Johnson as a 'clown'"], ''Independent'' 8.2.15.</ref>}}

The Conservative Party under that name dates back to the 1830s. In the 19th century they were the party of aristocracy and landed gentry, in opposition to the [[Liberal_Party#British_Liberal_Party|Liberal Party]] which represented new businessmen and industrialists; the Conservatives stood for the old order, military might, the [[Church of England]], tariffs, protectionism, and opposition to [[Ireland|Irish Home Rule]].<ref>{{wpa|History of the Conservative Party (UK)}}</ref> In the early 20th century the party was in crisis over issues such as tariffs, with the Liberals and later the [[Labour Party]] ascendant; extension of the franchise to all men made it look like they were doomed. But Stanley Baldwin pulled it together and faced down the unions in the [[1926 General Strike]], letting Labour take most of the flak for the [[Great Depression]], and moving in and out of Downing Street until 1937.<ref>{{wpa|Stanley Baldwin}}</ref>

After [[World War II]], the party looked doomed again following [[Winston Churchill|Churchill]]'s loss to Attlee's Labour Party in 1945, but the Conservatives embraced consensus and the welfare state, while continuing to emphasise tradition, [[capitalism|free enterprise]], military might, and [[patriotism]]. They returned to power in 1951, and despite the mess of the Suez Crisis and Macmillan accepting the end of the [[British Empire]] in his 1960 "Winds of Change" speech, the post-war economic boom ensured they stayed in power until 1964 when everybody was so rich that they voted Labour. After ousting Harold Wilson's Labour government in 1970, [[Edward Heath]] vacillated between his Tory predecessors' centre-right approach and a more extreme economic liberalism promoted by Keith Joseph and later Margaret Thatcher; Heath's biggest achievement, the UK entering the Common Market (later to become the [[European Union]]), proved a cause of division for decades to come.

In the late 70s, Thatcher changed what it meant to be "[[Conservatism|conservative]]" in the UK. She took a firm stance against [[government]] roles in public life. At the same time, she tackled the power of entrenched private interests, such as [[trade union|unions]] … while reinforcing other entrenched interests, like big business, and creating an economy based on services as opposed to industry (deeming the latter to be an anachronism). By the time Thatcher left office, the size of the state relative to the economy was at its smallest since before the [[Second World War]]. There was some social tension due to the bullheaded nature of this economic transition, particularly in the north of [[England]] and [[Scotland]], where anti-Thatcherism remains to this day.<ref>[http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/margaret-thatcher-how-former-pm-1818724 "Death of Margaret Thatcher: How the former PM became a figure of hate in Scotland"], ''Daily Record''.</ref>

The Conservative Party became slightly more [[moderate]] in later years to survive the backlash against Thatcher. Similarly, Labour was forced to lean to the right, turning the UK general elections into a bland and boring battle for the "[[Centrism|centre]]" ground. That said, the Conservatives have their share of old-school gibbering [[Wingnut|right-wing nutters]] (whom the shadow cabinet refer to as "backwoodsmen")<ref>http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/cristinaodone/100038977/tory-insider-some-hissing-from-the-backwoodsmen-but-not-one-senior-figure-is-opposing-camerons-deal/</ref> just as Labour have their share of diehard [[moonbat|Trotskyites.]]

Under [[David Cameron|Cameron]]/[[Theresa May|May]], despite claims of good old-fashioned One-Nation Toryism, the Tories are as extreme as they were under Thatcher but have [[Compassionate conservatism|a more pleasant manner]] when signing disastrous policies. The modernizing wing of the Tories has been frozen out,<ref>[http://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews/tories-battle-to-contain-internal-civil-war/ar-BBqHDtY?li=BBoPWjQ Tories battle to contain internal civil war]</ref> and the growing young and leftist opposition is led by an increasingly emboldened and popular [[Jeremy Corbyn]] even after he resigned as Labour leader. [[Liberal Democrats|Lib Dems]] are currently polling around the same as the dead [[UKIP]] which has already achieved its purpose. 

Tories are notoriously unsentimental when it comes to knifing leaders who cease to be useful. Since the [[New Labour]] landslide of 1997, the Conservatives have gone through more than their fair share of changes: going from [[John Major]] to William Hague to Iain Duncan Smith to Michael Howard.  However, most of the party still harps on about the [[good old days]] of Margaret Thatcher, who is the most reviled/revered UK politician of modern times.

[[Brexit]] predictably changed everything. Pro-Remain prime minister [[David Cameron]], who won reelection on a majority government in 2015, resigned the following year after losing the referendum to Leave. [[Theresa May]] took over to try to implement Brexit, but when she called an early election, she lost her majority, lost her standing in the party, destroyed her reputation, and finally resigned after failing to pass the same Brexit bill ''three different times''. Her replacement as [[Prime Minister of the United Kingdom|Prime Minister]] was [[Boris Johnson]], who defeated Corbyn, won a super-majority in parliament, and passed a Hard Brexit bill, only to then preside over the [[COVID-19]] pandemic. His corruption scandals eventually caught up to him, forcing him to resign as [[Liz Truss]] took over. But Truss ''immediately'' squandered her chances after unveiling a budget so awful, so transparently cruel, so pro-billionaire, that the British markets crashed and the Pound Sterling got ''devalued''. Truss resigned a mere 6 weeks after taking power, becoming the shortest serving prime minister in British history, and she was instead succeeded by [[Rishi Sunak]], the man she beat just weeks prior and the same man who helped (justifiably) knife Boris in the back earlier. But by this point, Boris' corruption and Liz's stupidity dismantled the party's standing with the public so badly, they voted Labour back into government on July 4, 2024, ending 14 years of Conservative dominance.

==Policies==

Tories behave like the fact that Britain is no longer an Empire hasn't registered in their psyche. They know they're not, but their mannerisms and condescending attitude towards their European neighbor states (and their citizens) makes them come across as gentry fallen on rough times, with a pinch of Victorian-style contempt for the lower class scum. They hold power mostly due to the fact that they have successfully marketed this suspicion of everything "foreign" or low-class to the people, with the help of a mass media that has long since traded all notion of journalistic ethics for profits.

What everyone forgot, or many were too young to understand<ref>Tufft, Ben, [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/generalelection/one-reddit-user-asks-why-did-you-vote-tory-10238486.html "'Why did you vote Tory?': Big question gets intriguing answers"], ''Independent'' 5.9.15.</ref> is that the Tories don't give a flying coitus about anyone but the [[Plutonomy|richest]] in society. It's a party of self-preservation. (A lot of the things they complain about reveal [[Psychological projection|how their own minds work]], since the people they most disapprove of are: lazy,<ref>Mount, Harry, [http://www.spectator.co.uk/2016/07/in-praise-of-boris-johnsons-work-ethic/ "In praise of Boris Johnson’s work ethic"]., ''Spectator'' (7/9/16 at 9:00 AM).</ref> workshy,<ref>[http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-34072201 "Cameron announces 26 new Tory peers in dissolution honours"], [[BBC]] 8.27.15.</ref> greedy,<ref>Dathan, Matt, [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/david-cameron-10-pay-rise-offers-mps-opportunity-to-be-more-charitable-10394801.html "David Cameron: 10% pay rise offers MPs opportunity to be more charitable"], ''Independent'' 7.16.15.</ref><ref>Bolton, Doug, [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/jeremy-hunt-health-secretary-expenses-claims-a7026951.html "Jeremy Hunt claimed 27p in expenses for half-mile car journey, new figures show"], ''Independent'' 5.12.16.</ref><ref>Syal, Rajeev, [http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2013/jun/28/eric-pickles-communities-department-overdraft "Watchdog reprimands Eric Pickles' department for £217m overdraft "], ''Guardian'' (Last modified on 5/7/16 at 8:41 EDT).</ref> dishonest,<ref>Eaton, George, [http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2012/12/obr-head-rebukes-osborne-uk-was-never-risk-bankruptcy "OBR head rebukes Osborne: the UK was never at risk of bankruptcy"], ''New Statesman'' 12.6.12.</ref><ref>Inman, Phillip, [http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/aug/18/david-cameron-rebuked-jobs-claim "David Cameron rebuked over jobs claim"], ''[[Guardian]]'' (Last modified on 6/25/16 at 4:56 EDT).</ref><ref>Eaton, George, [http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2013/05/duncan-smith-rebuked-ons-misuse-benefit-statistics "Duncan Smith rebuked by ONS for misuse of benefit statistics"], ''New Statesman'' 5.9.13.</ref><ref>Stone, Jon, [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/sarah-wollaston-eu-referendum-quits-vote-leave-campaign-false-nhs-claims-350-a7071906.html "EU referendum: Respected Tory MP Sarah Wollaston quits Leave campaign over 'false' NHS claims"], ''Independent'' 6.8.16.</ref> morally corrupt...<ref>Esther Oxford and James Clayton, [http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-34999065 "Memo said activist was 'sociopathic, dangerous and a bully'"], BBC 12.3.15.</ref>)

===Austerity===

{{cquote|Happily, however, there are significant economic gains to be had from Brexit [...] in a word, to [[Starve the beast|finish the job]] that Margaret Thatcher started.|||Nigel Lawson<ref>Lawson, Nigel, [https://www.ft.com/content/6cb84f70-6b7c-11e6-a0b1-d87a9fea034f "Brexit gives us a chance to finish the Thatcher revolution"], FT 9.2.16.</ref>}}

Austerity was the policy from 2010 of cutting public spending to destroy the public sector, weaken unions and the Labour Party's power base in sectors such as health and education, stigmatise the poor who are created as scapegoats, and allow tax cuts for the rich. There have been occasional claims since then of the end of austerity, such as by then-chancellor Sajid Javid in 2019.<ref>[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-49577250 Chancellor Sajid Javid declares end of austerity], BBC, 4 September 2019</ref> However it is unclear whether the vast costs of fighting [[COVID-19]] will require another round.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/mar/23/britain-post-covid-cuts-boris-johnson-budget-austerity There's too much airy optimism about post-Covid Britain. Prepare for brutal cuts], Polly Toynbee, The Guardian, 23 Mar 2021</ref>

Experience from the UK coalition government of 2010-2015 shows that publicising [[Cherrypicking|select cases]] of benefit fraud is very effective at convincing people that most dole claimants are crooks.<ref>[http://www.bsa.natcen.ac.uk/latest-report/british-social-attitudes-32/welfare.aspx British  Social Attitudes summary: Benefits and welfare], NatSen.</ref> It seems like every month, Channel 4 & 5 air a new ''Saints and Scroungers'' or ''Nightmare Neighbors''. Thatcher did the same thing in the 80's:  She used the press to make everyone believe that benefit fraud was rife and immigration was out of control.<ref>Gavin, Cordon, [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/margaret-thatcher-welfare-state-plans-cabinet-riot-a7438196.html "Margaret Thatcher's secret plans to dismantle welfare state almost prompted 'Cabinet riot'"], ''Independent'' 11.24.16.</ref><ref>Swaine, Jon, [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/margaret-thatcher/6906503/Margaret-Thatcher-complained-about-Asian-immigration-to-Britain.html "Margaret Thatcher complained about Asian immigration to Britain"], ''Telegraph'' (12/20/09 at 6:45AM GMT).</ref>  What resulted was a rise in the [[far-right]] and [[Blaming the victim|the poor blaming the poor]] for their poverty.

After Iain Duncan Smith resigned, he was interviewed and admitted the government singles out disabled people for cuts, because they're an easy target and aren't traditional Tory voters.<ref>McCann, Kate, [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/12199301/iain-duncan-smith-resignation-reaction-live.html "Iain Duncan Smith resignation: EU claims are a 'deliberate attempt to discredit me' IDS claims after emotional Andrew Marr interview"], ''Telegraph'' (3/20/16 at 4:54PM GMT).</ref> By then the damage had been done: The narrative that disabled people are all cheats and scroungers, all immigrants are criminals was well-established in the public mind.

===Foreign policy and defence===

To maintain the nuclear arsenal of 
Airstrip One
 the UK, [[NATO]] membership and the unquestioning '{{wpl|Special Relationship}}' with the USA which has become as substitute for British power and prestige after the breakup of the [[British Empire]] post-1945. This includes maintaining the Trident nuclear deterrent, which is nominally independent but largely dependent on the US, to maintain Britain's place in the world as one of the Big Nations on the UN Security Council; in 2021 the Tories announced plans for renewal with more warheads, after years of ridiculing [[Jeremy Corbyn]]'s opposition to nukes.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/mar/12/trident-nuclear-warhead-numbers-set-to-increase-for-first-time-since-cold-war Trident nuclear warhead numbers set to increase for first time since cold war], The Guardian, 12 Mar 2021</ref><ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/sep/14/conservtives-corbyn-attack-video-demon-eyes-smear-with-legs The Tories’ Corbyn attack video is absurd, paranoid and nasty – and will work], Jonathan Jones, The Guardian, 14 Sep 2015</ref>

The Tories actually seem less willing to start wars than Labour Governments, although John Major was in charge for one [[Iraq_War#Gulf_War|Gulf War]], and David Cameron was involved in the 2016 western intervention in Libya.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/sep/14/mps-deliver-damning-verdict-on-camerons-libya-intervention MPs deliver damning verdict on David Cameron's Libya intervention], The Guardian, 14 Sep 2016</ref> The dominant principle seems to be ''[[realpolitik]]'' and the goal promoting business and industry (including arms sales), leading to friendships with the despotic likes of [[Saudi Arabia]]. However, a desire to find villains leads sections of the party to be vociferously anti-China (despite the trade possibilities).<ref>[https://news.sky.com/story/boris-johnson-warns-against-new-cold-war-on-china-as-he-comes-under-pressure-from-conservative-mps-12247793 Boris Johnson warns against 'new Cold War on China' as he comes under pressure from Conservative MPs], Sky News, 16 March 2021</ref>

===Science===

The Tories do not support an [[Evidence-based medicine|evidence-based]] [[drugs]] policy. Conservative [[science]] spokesman Adam Afriyie when asked: "[[Lulz|To what extent should drug policy be based on scientific evidence]]?" Replied that: "There may be times when ministers decide to take account of other considerations." What these other [[Daily Mail|considerations]] could possibly be, has yet to be figured out.<ref>[http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2010/apr/28/conservative-party-science-policy The Conservative Party answers questions about its science policy]</ref>

===Race and immigration===

[[File:Toryrace1964conservativerascismmigrant.jpg|thumb|Unofficial Tory poster from the {{wpl|1970 United Kingdom general election|1970 general election.}} The original wording of said slogan used [[Nigger|a lot less savoury alternative]] to the term "coloured", which at the time was a more [[politically correct]] term.]]

The Party has long had an extremist right wing which varied between virulent opposition to immigration and overt racism, but it normally tried to keep these lunatics under control. It's because Tories (unlike Republicans) have always been more interested in class than race. The first mixed race Prime Minister (1812 to 1827) was the Earl of Liverpool (Tory) who had a gujurati grandmother—no-one gave a toss, he was an Earl! Disraeli was a dark Sephardic Jew, but became a Tory Prime Minister; he was firmly upper middle class. [[Boris Johnson]] has a Turkish grandfather—but he's an Etonian!

In 1960 moderate Conservative PM Harold Macmillan declared that the British empire would come to an end and the "winds of change" were blowing through Africa, meaning self-rule and independence. However, many members of his party opposed this progressive viewpoint, founding the Monday Club and advocating for Ian Smith's racist regime in [[Rhodesia]] and the pro-[[apartheid]] government in [[South Africa]]. [[Enoch Powell]] was famed and popular for his opposition to immigration, but sacked by [[Edward Heath]] and eventually left the party.

Theresa May was of course a huge xenophobe as Home Secretary, and carried on with this as Prime Minister.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/apr/19/theresa-may-was-not-opposed-to-go-home-vans-official-accounts-suggest May was not opposed to 'go home' vans, official accounts suggest], The Guardian, 19 April 2018</ref><ref>[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-37788717 'Mrs May, we are all citizens of the world,' says philosopher], BBC News, 29 Oct 2016</ref> Under Boris Johnson, [[Priti Patel]] was put in charge of the Home Office including immigration, with numerous plans for right-wing clamp-downs on immigrants at the same time as introducing a points-based immigration system that prioritises economics rather than refugees or family reunion.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/mar/24/how-is-priti-patel-planning-to-change-the-uks-asylum-system How is Priti Patel planning to change the UK's asylum system?], The Guardian, 24 march 2021</ref><ref>[https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/priti-patel-immigration-reform-b1855684.html Priti Patel’s immigration reform is a confusing mess that will leave us worse off], Thom Brooks, The Independent, 1 June 2021</ref> Johnson's personal history of racist remarks did not bode well for the future despite the presence of high-profile ethnic-minority figures such as Patel and Rishi Sunak in his cabinet.<ref>[https://www.businessinsider.com/boris-johnson-record-sexist-homophobic-and-racist-comments-bumboys-piccaninnies-2019-6?r=US&IR=T Boris Johnson called gay men 'tank-topped bumboys' and black people 'piccaninnies' with 'watermelon smiles'], Business Insider, 9 June 2020</ref>

By far the worst recent instance of Tory racism is the {{wpl|Rwanda asylum plan}}, a (thankfully failed) policy attempted by Johnson and Sunak but blocked by the courts on human rights grounds.<ref>[https://www.supremecourt.uk/cases/docs/uksc-2023-0093-press-summary.pdf Supreme Court press summary -  R (on the application of AAA (Syria) and others) (Respondents/Cross Appellants) v Secretary of State for the Home Department], 15 November 2023.</ref> The plan was, in essence, that any and all people who entered the country by "irregular means" would be illegally deported to Rwanda while their claims were processed, with no chance of returning to the UK even if their claims were accepted.<ref>[https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/uk-rwanda-asylum-seekers-policy-27230201 UK Rwanda asylum seekers policy explained: Who is paying, is it legal and what next?], ''Daily Mirror'', 14 June 2022</ref> This was made worse by the numerous human rights abuses documented in Rwanda by the US State Department, including extrajudicial killings,<ref>[https://www.state.gov/reports/2021-country-reports-on-human-rights-practices/rwanda/ 2021 Country Reports on Human Rights Practices: Rwanda], ''U.S. Department of State'', 2021</ref> and by [[Suella Braverman|the chief proponent of the plan]]'s description of channel crossings as an "invasion on our south coast" by "criminal gangs".<ref>[https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/suella-braverman-migrant-crisis-invasion_uk_63601bb0e4b046b39ca0e907 Suella Braverman Condemned For Migrant 'Invasion' Rhetoric – But Nigel Farage Says 'Well Done'], ''Huffington Post'', 3 November 2022</ref> This rhetoric has been compared to that which was used to justify atrocities like [[the Holocaust]].<ref>[https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/suella-braverman-holocaust-survivor-home-office-home-secretary-charity-hampshire-b1053102.html Charity refuses to delete clip of Holocaust survivor confronting Suella Braverman], ''Evening Standard'', 15 January 2023</ref>

[[Wikipedia]] has more detailed articles on {{wpl|Islamophobia in the UK Conservative Party}}, {{wpl|Racism in the UK Conservative Party}} and {{wpl|Antisemitism in the UK Conservative Party}}.

==Prime Ministers==
Notable Conservative Prime Ministers include:
* [[Neville Chamberlain]] (1937–1940)
* [[Winston Churchill]] (1940–1945, 1951–1955)
* [[Edward Heath]] (1970–1974)
* [[Margaret Thatcher]] (1979–1990)
* [[John Major]] (1990–1997)
* [[David Cameron]] (2010–2016)
* [[Theresa May]] (2016–2019)
* [[Boris Johnson]] (2019–2022)
* [[Liz Truss]] (September–October 2022)
* [[Rishi Sunak]] (2022–2024)

==Other prominent figures==

===James Cleverly===
Ironically named MP for Braintree and former party chairman. Formerly served as Education Secretary and Foreign Secretary, currently Home Secretary (replacing the execrable [[Suella Braverman]]). He apparently believes that children who are taught about religions other than Christianity are more likely to become criminals.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/oct/04/tory-concerns-shaun-bailey-remarks-london-mayoral-race Tory deputy chairman defends Shaun Bailey over multiculturalism remarks], The Guardian, 4 October 2018</ref> During the [[2019 United Kingdom general election]], Cleverly defended Conservative Party members who had used deceptive editing to make it look as though [[Keir Starmer]] had failed to answer questions about Brexit.<ref>[https://inews.co.uk/news/politics/james-cleverly-piers-morgan-gmb-interview-keir-starmer-video-tory-twitter-359572 James Cleverly confronted by Piers Morgan on GMB for defending doctored Keir Starmer video released by Tories], inews, 6 November 2019</ref>

Cleverly also served on the {{wpl|London Assembly}} from 2008 to 2016, during which time his greatest achievement was pushing through disastrous cuts to the emergency services, leading to the death of an elderly man when the fire brigade failed to arrive on time.<ref>[https://www.camdennewjournal.co.uk/article/trlclosingranks THIN RED LINE: The men who pushed through cuts to fire brigade close ranks], Camden New Journal, 19 November 2015</ref> He was also known for insulting a [[Liberal Democrats|Lib Dem]] MP.<ref>[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-11019105 Tory in 'abusive' Twitter insult to MP Simon Hughes], BBC News, 18 August 2010</ref>

===Michael Gove===
MP for Surrey Heath, former Secretary of State for Education who managed to attract the hatred of almost every single teacher in the country,<ref>http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/what-is-it-about-michael-gove-that-makes-people-hate-him-so-much-7628063.html</ref> despite his [http://i.imgur.com/hSXNmXZ.png sterling credentials]. Later Lord Chancellor aka Secretary of State for Justice where he has the unenviable task of dealing with the fallout from Grayling's awful reforms. At Education, he warred against anyone claiming to have expertise in education, and in 2016 he showed his [[anti-intellectualism]] by declaring "people in this country have had enough of experts".<ref>https://next.ft.com/content/3be49734-29cb-11e6-83e4-abc22d5d108c</ref> He has been criticised for anti-Muslim attitudes, including in his 2006 book ''Celsius 7/7'' which used dubious statistics to claim a significant proportion of British Muslims supported suicide bombing and rejected British society.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/mar/29/lady-warsi-says-she-fears-michael-gove-becoming-pm Lady Warsi says she fears Michael Gove becoming PM], The Guardian, 29 Mar 2019</ref> Moved to farming under Theresa May and subsequently Boris handed him the job (or possibly poisoned chalice as payback for knifing BoJo in the leadership contest that made May PM) of preparing the UK for a no-deal Brexit.

===Chris "Failing" Grayling===
MP for Epsom and Ewell and former '''Lord President of the Council''' and '''Leader of the House of Commons'''.<ref>http://www.parliament.uk/biographies/commons/chris-grayling/1413</ref> The first non-lawyer to hold the position of Lord Chancellor for 440 years—make of that what you will. He introduced wildly unpopular changes to legal aid, removing it in all but exceptional circumstances in cases of divorce, child contact, welfare benefits, employment, clinical negligence, and housing.<ref>For a delightful overview of just how shitty the legal aid changes were, see https://www.thebureauinvestigates.com/2015/01/18/magistrates-warn-chris-grayling-legal-aid-new-survey/</ref> Also introduced the extremely controversial "criminal courts charge"—this is a fixed and mandatory charge on top of all the others that convicted offenders must pay, and the charge is higher if you plead not guilty.<ref>https://www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/about-sentencing/types-of-sentence/other-orders-made-on-sentencing/criminal-courts-charge/</ref><ref>http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34870242</ref><ref>For a delightful horror story about the near-dystopian levels of inhumanity this measure has led to, have a look at http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/magistrate-quits-after-being-suspended-for-offering-to-pay-asylum-seekers-court-charge-a6672656.html</ref> Quoted as saying that Christian B&B owners should be allowed to turn away gay couples, though he did later row back from this and even supported the Same-Sex Marriage Act. But lawyers still hate him as much as he apparently hates them.<ref>And he gets described as a shit ''by members of his own party'' http://jerryhayes.co.uk/posts/2015/01/22/grayling-s-attempt-to-curtail-judicial-review-shows-he-puts-the-dick-into-tat-this-is-one-shit-that-will-have-to-be-flushed-after-the-election</ref> Grayling has also become a bit of a joke in UK politics in that he is mind-numbingly incompetent. Examples of this are giving funding to a ferry company...with no ferries in post Brexit preperations and also failing to become the chair of the Intelligence and Security Committee after the entire thing was rigged.

===Philip Hammond===
Former MP for Runnymede and Weybridge and Theresa May's Chancellor of the Exchequer, now sitting in the House of Lords. Is for the reduction of abortion time limits and is also a supporter of homeopathy.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/jun/09/jeremy-hunt-views-on-abortion-time-limit-branded-alarming Jeremy Hunt’s views on abortion time limit branded ‘alarming’], The Guardian, 9 June 2019</ref><ref>[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/same-sex-marriage-northern-ireland-list-every-mp-voted-against-lifting-abortion-ban-a8998456.html All the MPs who voted against lifting abortion ban and same-sex marriage in Northern Ireland], 10 July 2019</ref><ref name=bbcabortion2008>[http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7411966.stm How MPs voted on abortion limit], BBC, 21 May 2008</ref><ref>[https://www.publicwhip.org.uk/mp.php?mpn=Philip_Hammond&mpc=Runnymede_and_Weybridge&house=commons&dmp=813 Philip Hammond], The Public Whip, accessed 25 July 2019</ref> Mixed record as foreign secretary, supporting Saudi military action in [[Yemen]] but involved in the nuclear deal with [[Iran]] (that Trump later broke) and condemned genocide in Bosnia.<ref>{{wpa|Philip Hammond}}</ref> He opposed the legalisation of gay marriage in 2013, saying it would be like legalising incest.<ref>[https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/01/28/exclusive-defence-secretary-philip-hammond-links-incest-with-same-sex-marriage/ Philip Hammond links incest with same-sex marriage], Pink News, 28 Jan 2013</ref>

===Jeremy Hunt===
MP for South West Surrey, current Chancellor of the Exchequer and former Foreign Secretary and Health Secretary. NHS will be gone in five years in favour of an American-style insurance option, and you have Mr. Hunt to thank for that. Magical thinking and Brexit go together like turd and toilets: After all, we can always replace foreign doctors with British talent after Brexit.<ref>Agerholm, Harriet, [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/jeremy-hunt-brexit-replace-foreign-doctors-british-nhs-eu-a7341256.html "Jeremy Hunt: We can replace foreign doctors with British talent after Brexit"], ''Independent'' 10/2/16. People aren't going to sink £50,000+ grand into a profession which is being destroyed by you.</ref> (By making them work more hours for less money in poorer conditions! How would they resist!) He voted for the reduction of abortion time limits to 12 weeks. He supported homeopathy when a young MP in 2007, but later changed his mind and accepted science; he defended measles [[vaccination]] and condemned homeopathic alternatives in 2013, and the following year when David Tredinnick asked a question promoting [[Chinese medicine]], Hunt said only if there was scientific evidence.<ref>[http://skeptical-voter.org/index.php?title=Jeremy_Hunt Jeremy Hunt], Skeptical Voter</ref> Hunt was notorious while health secretary for misrepresenting scientific data about the benefits of 7-day hospital working, incorrectly claiming higher staffing at weekends would reduce mortality, as part of his campaign to get doctors to work 7 days instead of 5.<ref>[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/jeremy-hunt-misrepresenting-data-on-mortality-at-nhs-hospitals-doctor-who-conducted-study-says-a6872281.html Jeremy Hunt 'misrepresenting' data on weekend death rates at NHS hospitals, says research surgeon], The Independent, 13 Feb 2016</ref>

===Sajid Javid===
MP for Bromsgrove, former Home Secretary, now former Chancellor. Is a fan of [[Ayn Rand]]: He picked ''The Fountainhead'' for the Parliament film club, calling it “a film that was articulating what I felt”.<ref>[http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/31/nationalisation-state-save-steel-port-talbot-tata-industrial-policy Sajid Javid's favourite film shows he's not a man of steel], Martin Kettle, The Guardian, 31 Mar 2016</ref> Make of that what you will.

===Edward Leigh===
MP for Gainsborough: Is strongly for the reduction of abortion time limits against scientific and medical consensus, is a strong supporter of homeopathy, for the exclusion of faith-based adoption agencies from the Equality Act so that they may discriminate against homosexual couples, supported now defunct blasphemy laws, and is also a member of the Cornerstone Group, a faction within the Conservative Party that promotes Christian values.<ref name=conhomecornerstone>[https://www.conservativehome.com/parliament/2012/05/what-is-the-cornerstone-group-mbarrettch-profiles-the-socially-conservative-tory-backbench-group.html What is the Cornerstone group? Matthew Barrett profiles the socially conservative Tory backbench group], Conservative Home, May 2012</ref> In addition to this Leigh is particularly scientifically illiterate even for a Conservative, he is strongly against embryonic research (not just stem cell research) claiming "There is no overwhelming, or indeed any large-scale body of scientific evidence to suggest that this research that does cross this ultimate boundary between humans and animals will actually cure anything." in regards to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill. Leigh went onto show some views in line with [[baraminology]] when he said [[Not even wrong|"I don't believe in my soul or my brain I'm 80 per cent a mouse or 30 per cent a daffodil. But I do think that we are special and, therefore, as the human race is special it is different from the animal race and I think that we should take this very seriously."]] Leigh also doesn't seem to value [[separation of church and state]] all that much when remarked that: "There is also a view, is there not, that politicians should keep out of the Church and out of religion? Was it not rather depressing when the former Prime Minister, [[Tony Blair]], said that he could not talk about religion when he was the Prime Minister for fear of being called a nutter? Is that view changing? The current Prime Minister mentioned the story of the good Samaritan in his speech to Congress, and Delia Smith is doing a blog on the Catholic Fund for Overseas Development website. Does my hon. Friend think that politicians should speak out and talk about their faith in a natural way, as he is doing?"

===Theresa May===
{{main|Theresa May}}
MP for Maidenhead, formerly Prime Minister and Home Secretary. At the Home Office, she rejected expert scientific advice on drugs policy.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/dec/13/vaughan-bell-legal-highs-psychoactive-drugs-bill], Vaughan Bell, Observer, 2015</ref> The fuckery with the CSA Inquiry has proven to be not her finest hour, either. Maybe Theresa should get off her arse and sort those out instead of trying to check our porn browsing history<ref>Graham, Georgia, [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/11254080/Theresa-May-Violent-pornography-prevents-young-people-from-understanding-a-healthy-relationship.html "Theresa May: Violent pornography prevents young people from understanding a healthy relationship"], ''Telegraph'' (11/25/14 at 6:27PM GMT).</ref><ref>Scott, Matthew, [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/general-election-2015/politics-blog/11645354/Theresa-May-wants-to-ban-pleasure.html "Theresa May Wants to Ban Pleasure"], ''Telegraph'' (6/2/15 at 10:46AM BST). But nothing else arouses her anymore. How else is she meant to get moist? :(</ref>

===George Osborne===
[http://www.filmsforaction.org/articles/the-uk-might-leave-the-european-union-heres-why/ "Avatar of Human Despair"], formerly Chancellor, and MP for Tatton. Owner of the world's most punchable face. ''Selon'' George, free market fundamentalism and democracy are [[Neoliberalism|one and the same.]] That's why a court ruling giving Uber employees minimum wage and holiday pay is considered a "threat" to democracy.<ref>Williams-Grut, Oscar, [http://www.businessinsider.com/george-osborne-democracy-free-trade-open-society-threat-fight-values-2016-11??r=UK&IR=T "George Osborne thinks democracy is under threat: 'Get out there and fight for things you currently take for granted'"],''Business Insider 11.2.16.</ref> Osborne's stock answer to any question he does not want to address is "an independent review committee is investigating the situation"; Georgie Boy comes out with some horrific budget cuts, everyone goes ''woah, hold on a second mate'' and he rolls out something that's only half as bad as a solution. But when you look at it, it's still a terrible solution, because option B is what he wanted in the first place. Not actually called George as his real name is [[George Osborne|Gideon]].

===Priti Patel===
The MP for Witham in Essex since 2010, and Home Secretary from 2019 until 2022, a job which seems to have suited her right-wing, anti-immigrant, and law and order beliefs perfectly. In the 1990s she worked for the Conservative Party and [[Jimmy Goldsmith]]'s anti-EU [[Referendum Party]], before stints as a [[Big Tobacco|tobacco lobbyist]] and in PR for drinks company Diageo.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/feb/29/who-is-the-real-priti-patel Who is the real Priti Patel?], The Guardian, 29 Feb 2020</ref> She helped British American Tobacco to oppose EU anti-smoking legislation; she also defended the firm's partnership with [[Myanmar]]'s brutal military dictatorship, and tried to downplay reports that it was using child workers as young as 8 to pick tobacco in [[Nigeria]].<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/may/30/priti-patel-worked-as-spin-doctor-tobacco-firm-burma-scandal Minister worked as spin doctor for tobacco giant that paid workers £15 a month], The Guardian, 30 May, 2015</ref>

In 2011 on the BBC's ''Question Time'' she argued in favour of the [[death penalty]], claiming it was a deterrent despite considerable evidence to the contrary.<ref>[https://www.indy100.com/news/priti-patel-resurfaced-clip-death-penalty-ian-hislop-question-time-video-home-secretary-9020006 Resurfaced video shows Ian Hislop completely shredding Priti Patel's argument for the death penalty], ''The Independent'', 13 August 2020</ref>

She supported [[Brexit]] in the 2016 referendum and has claimed Brexit will make Britain safer by allowing tougher border controls and stopping Europeans flowing in freely.<ref>[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-55449080 Brexit deal 'will make UK safer', Priti Patel says], BBC News, 25 Dec 2020</ref>

She was Secretary of State for International Development from 2016-17 until she was forced to resign by [[Theresa May]] for having secret meetings with Israeli politicians, businesspeople, and lobbyists, in contravention of rules requiring ministers to notify the government before having meetings with foreign governments.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/nov/08/priti-patel-forced-to-resign-over-unofficial-meetings-with-israelis Priti Patel forced to resign over unofficial meetings with Israelis], The Guardian, 8 Nov 2017</ref>

She promoted a hard line against immigration, despite the fact that her parents were born in [[India]] and emigrated from [[Uganda]] to the UK when [[Idi Amin]] expelled Uganda's Indian population; she admitted in 2020 that her parents might not have been allowed into the country under her own rules, rather than the less strict rules her parents faced.<ref>[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/priti-patel-immigration-laws-parents-home-office-brexit-a9343571.html Home Secretary Priti Patel admits own parents might not have been allowed into UK under her new immigration laws], The Independent, 19 Feb 2020</ref> She proposed sending refugees to the UK to be processed in overseas holding camps, possibly on Crown territories such as [[Gibraltar]] and the [[Isle of Man]], or paying foreign countries to host them as in the [[Australia]]n model.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/mar/18/asylum-seekers-could-be-sent-abroad-by-uk-to-be-processed UK considers sending asylum seekers abroad to be processed], The Guardian, 18 March 2021</ref> This would separate asylum seekers from support networks, legal advice, and family and friends legally in the UK, and the similar scheme in Australia has been associated with an astonishing level of human rights abuse, described as "brazen cruelty" by [[Human Rights Watch]].<ref>[https://www.hrw.org/news/2020/07/16/seven-years-suffering-australias-asylum-seekers-refugees Seven Years of Suffering for Australia’s Asylum Seekers, Refugees], Human Rights Watch, 16 July 2020</ref><ref>[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-34577905 Nauru 'rape victim case extraordinary' - Australian Human Rights Commission], BBC News, 20 Oct 2015</ref>

In 2020 an internal government inquiry by the Cabinet Office found that she had bullied her staff on several occasions. In 2015 a staff member received a payout of £25,000 without admission of liability, in 2017 she reportedly humiliated civil servants, and when senior civil servant Philip Rutnam stood up for his staff, he was subjected to a campaign of harassment until he was forced to resign. [[Boris Johnson]] accepted the report but declined to take any action against Patel: Sir Alex Allan, the independent investigator found that Patel had broken the ministerial code, but Johnson overruled his decision, and Allan resigned.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/nov/20/priti-patel-bullying-inquiry-why-was-it-held-and-what-did-it-find Priti Patel bullying inquiry: why was it held and what did it find?], The Guardian, 20 Nov 2020</ref>

Hang on … daughter of a shopkeeper, trained as a barrister, worked for a notoriously amoral industry, blue skirt suit. As the Dead Kennedys once said, [[Margaret Thatcher|we got a bigger problem now…]]

===Owen Paterson===
Was Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs from 2012 to 2014, which is fitting considering his later role in lobbying for a bacon company, lying to the FSA in the process. This, as well as his involvement in lobbying for drug company Randox lead to him being suspended for egregiously breaking lobbying rules following an investigation by the Commons Commissioner for Standards in 2021. He says that he didn't do it, which is entirely trustworthy considering the numerous times he has been caught outright lying in the past, particularly to the FSA.<ref>https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/sep/30/revealed-owen-paterson-lobbied-for-firms-he-was-paid-to-advise</ref> This has caused the conservative party to jump at the opportunity to try to save one of its own, by trying to change the rules to allow him to get away with breaking them.<ref>https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2021/nov/02/tories-set-to-try-to-overturn-findings-of-owen-paterson-lobbying-inquiry</ref> Owen represents a massive problem with [[lobbying]] in politics.

After this broke out, the issue developed into a scandal after Johnson supported an overhaul that would seek to implement an appeals process, blocking Owen Paterson from punishment in the meantime. This didn't miss the labour party's ire, as they boycotted it, causing whiplash from the U-turn to occur. Even tories themselves were disgusted with the act, with the [[Daily Mail]] who are usually fans of Johnson slamming the decision as a sink into sleaze.<ref>https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-the-papers-59158458</ref> He has also lamented the idea that his wife's suicide would be treated as a 'political football' even though he was the one to initially use it as exactly that when he threw her under the bus for money.<ref>https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2021/nov/04/why-did-owen-paterson-resign-and-what-happens-next</ref> It remains to be seen whether or not any overhaul of the anti-corruption processes in the government will happen, though if one did, it'd surely need more than adding an appeals process.

As a result of all of this, Owen Paterson has resigned so he doesn't have to face the indignity of a byelection.<ref>https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2021/nov/04/why-did-owen-paterson-resign-and-what-happens-next</ref> Thus one less corporate sock has a hand in UK politics, just in time for November 5th.

===John Redwood===
MP for Wokingham and former Welsh Secretary—climate change denier,<ref>[https://www.desmog.co.uk/2018/02/09/these-are-climate-science-denier-mps-lobbying-hard-brexit These Are the Climate Science Denier MPs Lobbying for a Hard Brexit], Desmog, 9 Feb 2018</ref> is for the reduction of abortion time limits against scientific and medical consensus.<ref name=bbcabortion2008/> Redwood is also a member of the Cornerstone Group, a faction within the Conservative Party that promotes Christian values. Nicknamed "the [[Star Trek|Vulcan]]" for his inability to display any kind of emotion. Also a notoriously outspoken Eurosceptic who backed a [[Brexit|hard Brexit]]<ref>https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/nov/14/john-redwood-brexit-money-britain-eu</ref> and has an online diary claiming that he "speaks for England."<ref>https://johnredwoodsdiary.com/</ref> So Redwood is basically the epitome of right-wing reactionary gammon.

===Jacob Rees-Mogg===
{{main|Jacob Rees-Mogg}}

MP for NE Somerset and Downton Abbey—Straight outta Wansdyke, crazy motherfucker named Rees-Mogg. Jacob has always been the "Tory-est" of the Tories: Roman Catholic, anti-abortion, anti–gay marriage. Spoke at an event by a pro-[[Front National]] group, Traditional Britain, then apologised.<ref>[http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-23617555]</ref> Intervened on the Scotland Bill, backed Brexit, and would vote for [[Donald Trump]] if he could. Can't deny he's done ''some'' good, but he's a Wodehousian caricature who only got into politics due to his bloodline.

===Malcolm Rifkind===
Former MP for Kensington and before that for Edinburgh Pentlands. Defence and Foreign Secretary under John Major. Has been a supporter of homeopathy and for the reduction of abortion time limits.<ref>[https://www.badscience.net/2007/09/homeopathy-gives-you-aids/ Homeopathy Gives You Aids], Bad Science, 15 Sep 2008</ref><ref name=bbcabortion2008/> He supported [[Slobodan Milošević]] and refused to do anything about [[Serbia]]n/[[Yugoslavia|Yugoslav]] government aggression or war crimes; when ex-PM Margaret Thatcher was critical of the West's response to Serbian war crimes in 1993, he condemned her remarks as "emotional nonsense", making him perhaps the only person to accuse Thatcher of stereotypically feminine weakness.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/1999/apr/14/features11.g21 Peeps from a pipsqueak], Francis Wheen, The Guardian, 14 April 1999</ref><ref>[https://www.ft.com/content/d5d3d8aa-bc17-11e4-b6ec-00144feab7de Rifkind faces end of four-decade political career], Financial Times, 24 Feb 2015</ref> Stepped down from chairing the Intelligence and Security Committee because of his involvement in the "cash for access" scandal in early 2015 and announced he would not stand in the [[2015 United Kingdom general election|2015 election]].<ref>http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-22936684</ref>

==Tory wingnuts==
{{hatnote|Were you looking for [[Douglas Carswell]], or the [[UK Independence Party]]?}}
{{cquote|Before they are too critical of the oil companies, may I suggest that the Church of England Commissioners read the Bible—{{bible|Matthew||25}}, the parable of the oil lamps and the 10 virgins—and remember that it was the five virgins who lived happily ever after and who had a cheap and ready supply of this much-maligned fossil fuel?|||David Davies MP [http://episcopaldigitalnetwork.com/ens/2016/05/05/british-mp-challenges-church-commissioners-on-climate-change/]}}

In addition to the mainstream nastiness, the Tories also have a significant fringe of religious fundamentalists, global warming skeptics, COVID-denialists, and other cranks. This includes a large number who are opposed to [[abortion]], and several who have advocated for [[homeopathy]].<ref name=iabortion2018/><ref name=edmhomhospital/>

===MPs in parliament===
*'''Christopher Chope''' (MP for Christchurch): Is for the reduction of abortion time limits against scientific and medical consensus,<ref name=bbcabortion2008/> is a supporter of homeopathy,<ref name=edmhomhospital/> supported now defunct blasphemy laws, and is also a member of the Cornerstone Group, a faction within the Conservative Party that promotes Christian values. Also a climate change skeptic, one of only 3 MPs to vote against the 2008 Climate Change Bill.<ref>[http://www.campaigncc.org/parlsceptics]</ref>
*'''[[Stephen Crabb]]''': The MP for Preseli Pembrokeshire had links to Christian Action Research and Education (CARE), a fundamentalist organisation promoting [[reparative therapy]] for homosexuals, and opposed gay marriage.<ref>[http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/stephen-crabb-new-dwp-secretary-criticised-for-links-to-gay-cure-group-a6941281.html], Independent, 2016</ref> Resigned from ministerial role in 2016 after sending sexually-explicit texts to a job applicant.
*<span id="David Davies"></span>'''David Davies''' (MP for Monmouth): Climate change skeptic<ref>[http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/david-davies-challenges-climate-change-9437082], Wales Online</ref> and defended oil companies by pointing to the use of oil lamps in the Bible—even though Biblical lamps used renewable olive oil, not fossil fuels.<ref>[http://episcopaldigitalnetwork.com/ens/2016/05/05/british-mp-challenges-church-commissioners-on-climate-change/], Episcopal Digital Network, 2016</ref>
*'''[[Philip Davies]]'''. Fringe figure noteworthy for his obnoxiousness. MP for Shipley and seemingly a supporter of [[homeopathy]], strongly [[climate change denial|denies climate change]] of any kind, against all political reform whatsoever, favours repealing the [[minimum wage]] (or at least exempting disabled people from it). Opposed legislation on sexual violence and is against [[feminism]] and the forces of [[political correctness]]; has also trolled equalities bodies with questions like "Why it is so offensive to black up your face?".<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/02/is-philip-davies-fit-to-be-an-mp Is Philip Davies fit to be an MP?], The Guardian, 2 Feb 2017</ref> Against relaxing law on abortion.<ref name=iabortion2018>[https://inews.co.uk/news/politics/abortion-bill-mps-who-voted-corbyn-may-farron-mordaunt/ Abortion Bill: full list of the MPs who voted Yes and No on the bill to liberalise Northern Ireland’s strict regime], ''i'', October 23rd 2018</ref>
*'''[[Nadine Dorries]]'''. The MP for Mid Bedfordshire and Minister for Mental Health, Suicide Prevention and Patient Safety since 2019 is a strong supporter for the reduction of abortion time limits against scientific and medical consensus, and is strongly against [[Stem cell research|embryonic research]], believing it would involve "[[Not even wrong|the possibility of seeking to inseminate animals with human sperm]]" and the creation of human and chimpanzee hybrids "''humanzee''." Seriously. Dorries is also a supporter of homeopathy, doesn't consider Trident to be [[weapons of mass destruction]], supported now defunct blasphemy laws, and is a member of the Cornerstone Group, a faction within the Conservative Party that promotes Christian values. How one gets a seat on Science and Technology Select Committee remains a mystery. 
*'''Damian Green'''. MP for Ashford, close ally of Theresa May, and former Minister of State for Borders and Immigration.<ref name=indygreen>[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/damian-green-resigns-sacked-latest-theresa-may-first-secretary-state-cabinet-office-rise-fall-a8121336.html Damian Green: The rise and fall of Theresa May's closest political ally], The Independent, 20 December 2017</ref> He supports the reduction of abortion time limits, and is also a supporter of homeopathy.<ref name=edmhomhospital/><ref>[http://skeptical-voter.org/index.php?title=Damian_Green Damian Green], Skeptical Voter</ref> In favour of gay rights based on his parliamentary voting record.<ref>[https://www.theyworkforyou.com/mp/10241/damian_green/ashford/votes Damian Green], They Work For You</ref> Allegedly has a good pornography collection though.<ref name=indygreen/>
*'''Andrew Selous''' (MP for South West Bedfordshire): Is for the reduction of abortion time limits against scientific and medical consensus,<ref name=bbcabortion2008/> is a supporter of homeopathy, for the exclusion of faith-based adoption agencies from the Equality Act so that they may discriminate against homosexual couples, and supported now defunct [[blasphemy]] laws. Opposed gay rights.<ref>[https://www.theyworkforyou.com/mp/11216/andrew_selous/south_west_bedfordshire/votes Andrew Selous], They Work For You</ref> Proposed legislation hostile to Gypsies and Travellers.<ref>[https://www.gypsy-traveller.org/news/a-poison-pill-the-andrew-selous-bill/ A POISON PILL: THE ANDREW SELOUS BILL], January 8, 2019</ref> Furthermore, Selous is a trustee of the Christian Conservative Fellowship, an organisation wishing to promote Christians in the Conservative Party and increase the parties' Christian membership. Selous sits on the "Council of Reference" for the group Prayers for Parliament, a group which asserts that "[[Theocracy|the real power to change this land rests not in 10 Downing Street or in the Palace of Westminster. It rests wherever you bow your head in prayer to the Almighty God who is sovereign over all]]."
*'''Nicholas Soames''' (MP for Mid Sussex): This man had the nerve to say that most universities should be shut down, and those remaining should raise their fees to six-digit figures so only the top 1% could get in. Is also for the reduction of abortion time limits against scientific and medical consensus,<ref name=bbcabortion2008/> is a supporter of homeopathy,<ref name=edmhomhospital/> and for the exclusion of faith-based adoption agencies from the Equality Act so that they may discriminate against homosexual couples. One of the biggest arseholes in Parliament, but he keeps getting reelected because [[Nepotism|his grandfather was Churchill]], guaranteeing every elderly vote in the county.
*'''John Whittingdale''' (MP for Maldon): Is a strong supporter of homeopathy,<ref name=edmhomhospital/> and is also a member of the Cornerstone Group, a faction within the Conservative Party that promotes Christian values.<ref name=conhomecornerstone/> In addition to this, in March 2007 it was reported that Whittingdale, in a speech to the Incorporated Society of British Advertisers, had suggested that [[advertising|advertisers]] should make the argument that a ban on advertising "junk" food during children's television could "have a damaging effect on children's broadcasting that will lead to money going out of it." He was Culture Secretary from 2015-2016, in charge of negotiating the renewal of the Royal Charter that governs the BBC. That would be OK, except for the fact that he has gone on record as saying that the all-important licence fee is "worse than a poll tax."<ref>[http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-32690777 John Whittingdale becomes UK culture secretary], BBC News, 11 May 2015</ref> He returned to the department as a junior minister in 2020. Oh dear.
*'''Jeremy Wright''' (MP for Kenilworth and Southam): Is for the reduction of abortion time limits against scientific and medical consensus, and is a supporter of homeopathy.<ref name=edmhomhospital/> In March 2010, Wright abstained from voting on The Conditional Fee Agreements (Amendment) Order 2010, which would have limited success fees to [[lawyer]]s to 10%. In addition to this, Wright is a supporter of unnecessarily high dose vitamin supplements as evidenced by a page on his website claiming "Products such as 1 gram [[Vitamin C]] tablets that are frequently used in the cold season; and the mineral Boron, important for strong bones and teeth, are set to become illegal once European laws passed recently are fully introduced."

===Tory candidates===
* '''[[Philippa Stroud]]''' (unsuccessful MP candidate in 2010, but influential activist): Founded a [[church]] which (allegedly) attempts to [[reparative therapy|"cure" homosexuality]]. This was the centre of some media controversy shortly before the election.
* '''Andrew Cooper''' - unsuccessful MP candidate in 2023 Tamworth By-election, throwing a major strop when he lost. Still holds the role of "Portfolio Holder for Entertainment and Leisure" on Tamworth Borough Council, which basically entails ensuring the town is covered in pretty flowers and not litter.

===Former MPs===
*'''Peter Bone''' (MP for Wellingborough and Rushden): Is for the reduction of abortion time limits against scientific and medical consensus,<ref name=bbcabortion2008/> is a strong supporter of homeopathy, supported now defunct blasphemy laws, and is also a member of the Cornerstone Group, a faction within the Conservative Party that promotes Christian values. Opposed to same-sex marriage and laws against upskirt photography.<ref>{{wpa|Peter Bone}}</ref> On 17 October 2023, Bone lost his Conservative whip after an investigation found he had bullied and sexually harassed a [[Haggard's Law|male]] employee,<ref>{{cite news |last1=Brown |first1=Faye |title=Peter Bone: Tory MP kicked out of parliamentary party after bullying and sexual misconduct allegations |url=https://news.sky.com/story/tory-mp-peter-bone-loses-whip-after-bullying-and-sexual-misconduct-allegations-12986340 |work=Sky News }}</ref> and was later suspended for six weeks. This triggered a by-election and led to Bone losing his seat in the Commons.<ref>{{cite news|title=Rishi Sunak facing another by-election as MP Peter Bone loses seat in recall petition|url=https://news.sky.com/story/rishi-sunak-facing-another-by-election-as-mp-peter-bone-loses-seat-in-recall-petition-13033993|work=Sky News|last=Baker|first-Tim}}</ref>
*'''Brooks Newmark''' (MP for Braintree): Is strongly for the reduction of abortion time limits against scientific and medical consensus,<ref name=bbcabortion2008/> is a supporter of homeopathy,<ref name=edmhomhospital/> and for the exclusion of faith-based adoption agencies from the Equality Act so that they may discriminate against homosexual couples. In 2009, Newmark introduced a Private Member Bill to lower the cervical cancer screening age to 20 based on sensationalist reporting by the ''Sun'' newspaper, against the evidence provided by the ''British Medical Journal'' showing that screening in women age 20–24 had little to no impact. Left parliament in 2015 and works for a homelessness charity.
*'''David Amess''' (MP for Southend West): Was for the prohibition of abortion regardless of scientific and medical consensus,<ref>https://www.southendwestconservatives.com/sir-david-amess-mp</ref> opposed making abortion easier,<ref name=iabortion2018/> was a supporter of homeopathy,<ref name=edmhomhospital>[https://edm.parliament.uk/early-day-motion/33006 NHS HOMEOPATHIC HOSPITALS, EDM #1240, Tabled 28 March 2007], Early Day Motions, UK Parliament website</ref> for the exclusion of faith-based adoption agencies from the Equality Act so that they may discriminate against homosexual couples, supported now defunct blasphemy laws, voted against gay marriage, and was also a member of the Cornerstone Group, a faction within the Conservative Party that promotes Christian values. Also asked Parliament to ban a recreational drug that [[Brass Eye#.22Drugs.22|didn't actually exist]].<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/society/shortcuts/2015/oct/23/david-amess-from-chris-morris-and-cake-to-scrutinising-drugs-policy David Amess], The Guardian, 23 Oct 2015</ref> He was assassinated in 2021 by Islamic terrorists.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/oct/15/counter-terrorism-police-take-over-inquiry-into-david-amess-killing MP’s killing declared a terrorist incident], The Guardian, 16 October 2021</ref>

==Factions==
The Conservative Party includes various groups, some restricted to MPs, others with wider membership. The more extreme or crazy ones include:
* [[Cornerstone Group]], socially very conservative, founded 2005 and apparently still active (as of 2018).<ref>[https://cornerstonegroup.wordpress.com/about/ About Us], Cornerstone Group, accessed 27 April 2018</ref>
* [[Conservative Monday Club]], founded to oppose the end of the [[British Empire]] and strongly anti-immigration, finally rejected by party leadership in 2001.<ref>[https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1359863/Duncan-Smith-orders-Monday-Club-to-suspend-Tory-links.html Duncan Smith orders Monday Club to suspend Tory links], ''Daily Telegraph'', 2001</ref>
* {{wpl|Conservative Christian Fellowship}}, intended as a link between conservatism and Christianity.<ref>[https://www.christian-conservatives.org.uk/ Conservative Christian Fellowship website], accessed 27 April 2018</ref>
* {{wpl|1922 Committee}}, parliamentary group controlled by backbench MPs.
* {{wpl|European Research Group}} (ERG), the most Brexitist of the Brexiteers.
* Common Sense Group, a bunch of right-wingers (inspired by the ERG) who want to celebrate the [[British Empire]] by using hashtags like "#empirestrikesback" and stopping heritage bodies such as the {{wpl|National Trust}} from talking about slavery or colonialism.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/nov/11/dissatisfied-tory-mps-flock-to-erg-inspired-pressure-groups Dissatisfied Tory MPs flock to ERG-inspired pressure groups], The Guardian, 11 Nov 202</ref><ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/oct/01/insurgents-bring-war-wokeness-national-trust-agm Insurgents to bring war on ‘wokeness’ to National Trust AGM], The Guardian, 1 Oct 2021</ref>

==Videos==
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1l1XGiXgo0 "Stupid Tory Voters"]: Skit where John Major and pals go door to door, call Tory voters stupid, and they say they'll still vote for them.
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owI7DOeO_yg&feature=youtu.be Mitchell and Webb - "Kill the Poor"]: Obligatory for those who missed it.
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sg-4ATrE8n0 Rowan Atkinson - Conservative Conference]

==External links==
*[http://www.conservatives.com/ The Lion's Den.]
*[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/09/diane-abbott-tells-brexit-minister-f-attempts-kiss-commons-bar/ "I'm in power with no accountability, I can do whatever I want now!"] - #We'reOut

==References==
{{reflist|2|90%}}

{{UKPoliticalParty}}
[[Category:Anti-abortion activists]]
[[Category:British politics]]
[[Category:British political parties]]
[[Category:Conservative political parties]]
[[Category:Government incompetence]]
[[Category:Homophobia]]
[[Category:Islamophobia]]
[[Category:Nationalism in the UK]]
[[Category:Racism]]
[[Category:War on science]]
[[Category:Xenophobia]]
[[Category:Transphobia]]

Categories: Anti-abortion activists, British politics, British political parties, Conservative political parties, Government incompetence, Homophobia, Islamophobia, Nationalism in the UK, Racism, War on science, Xenophobia, Transphobia