Silvio Berlusconi

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[[File:Silvio Berlusconi 2018.jpg|thumb|165px|Italy's living wax doll]]
{{politics}}
{{cquote|I don't need to go into office for the power. I have houses all over the world, stupendous boats… beautiful airplanes, a beautiful wife, a beautiful family… I am making a sacrifice.|||Bunga Bunga Berlusconi.<ref name="quotes">[https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-15642201 In quotes: Italy's Silvio Berlusconi in his own words]. ''BBC News''.</ref> Ring any bells?}}

'''Silvio "Bunga Bunga"'''<ref>[http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/06/06/basta-bunga-bunga Basta Bunga Bunga] by Ariel Levy (May 30, 2011) ''The New Yorker''.</ref> '''Berlusconi''' {{lived|1936|2023}} (a.k.a "'''Il Cavaliere'''" and "psycho-dwarf"<ref>[https://www.ansa.it/english/news/politics/2018/02/20/dont-give-in-to-psycho-dwarf-grillo-3_3d4f7fcf-8723-4256-a083-27dbe6704e17.html Don't give in to 'psycho-dwarf' - Grillo (3)] ( 20 February 2018, 15:42) ''ANSA English''.</ref>) was an [[Italy|Italian]] lounge singer, [[media]] mogul, and career criminal/politician,<ref name=ghiat/>{{rp|159-162}}<ref>{{wpa|Trials and allegations involving Silvio Berlusconi}}</ref> having served three terms as Prime Minister. He was the leader of [[Forza Italia]] (FI, literally ''Let's Go, Italy!'', an obvious reference to the cheer of the football club that he owned from 1986, ''Forza Milan!''), a party made [[Personality cult|in the image and likeness of the founder]], which was tied with Matteo Salvini's [[Northern League]] (Lega Nord) and [[Giorgia Meloni]]'s Brothers Of Italy (Fratelli D'Italia). Berlusconi held his country hostage for 25 years and did this because he had a {{wpl|Reality distortion field|distortion field}} in the form of his near-monopoly on Italian media, and enough money to throw at any problem. 

He paved the way for "outsider" [[Populism|rabble-rousing]] in Italy before being emulated on a grander scale by [[Donald Trump|Trump]] in [[United States|America]]. Both were unqualified for the jobs they sought or held, never shut up, had head-scratching support, and would ultimately fail miserably but they were such trainwrecks that one couldn’t help but tune in.<sup>Living rent-free in your heads, suckers!</sup> It didn't matter, it was just 4 years.<sup>Wait, Bunga Man was one of their longest-serving leaders?</sup> Damn. Strangely, he also owned Italian soccer giants AC Milan, and his particular brand of extravagance saw them win 8 Italian Championships (scudetto) and five European Cups/UEFA Champions Leagues<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20240530200427/https://www.transfermarkt.us/silvio-berlusconi/erfolge/trainer/22018 Silvio Berlusconi] ''Transfer Markt''.</ref> He would later on (in 2018) own AC Monza.

==Zombie king==
[[File:Silvio Berlusconi e Mike Bongiorno anni 80.JPG|thumb|right|165px|Berlusconi and Bongiorno from 1982-1985]]
{{cquote|He's had so many face-lifts, his face has moved to the top of his head, you have to get on a step-ladder to watch him lie.|||Dylan Moran<ref>[The Brilliant Dylan Moran On Belief, Science, Politics, And Fruit Cameras] by Imran A Khan (April 20, 2015) ''The Bearded One''.</ref>}}

Umberto Eco wrote an essay on the success of Mike Bongiorno, one of Italy's most famous personalities.<ref>"The Phenomenology of Mike Bongiorno" In: ''Misreadings'' by Umberto Eco, translated by William Weaver (1993) Harcourt Brace & Company. ISBN 0224030698. Pages 156-164.</ref> Berlusconi was no different: the manifestation of a proud and widespread [[Bread and circuses|mediocrity]] which made Mike the god of Italian television.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20180629160625/http://af.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idAFTRE5875V320090908 Italian TV host Bongiorno, Berlusconi ally, dies] (9/8/09 at 7:59pm GMT) ''Reuters'' (archived from June 29, 2018).</ref>

What was behind Berlusconi? The failure of the Italian First Republic in the first place. Then, the implosion of the center-left who could neither put forward a coherent labor stance nor move firmly into a pseudo-[[Third Way|Blairite]] pro-business orbit. Berlusconi began to steal parliamentarians from the League and other [[right-wing]] parties, attracting them to FI. He offered a change from the endless coalition collapses and deadlocked and short-lived governments and campaigned on a popular distaste for politicians.<ref>[http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/profile-italys-arch-seducer-silvio-berlusconi-italians-wanted-a-new-party-he-sold-them-one-1367392.html Profile: Italy's arch seducer: Silvio Berlusconi. Italians wanted a new party; he sold them one] (1 April 1994, 11:02 PM BST) ''The Independent''.</ref>

Since Berlusconi entered into Italian politics, they have stopped having a center-right worthy of the name. This is demonstrated by the fact that FI failed to cultivate a person worthy of taking the reins from him. So much of this is the fault of Berlusconi and of his ''lacchè'' (lackies): if one creates a party in which [[Nepotism#Spoils system|mutual benefit]] is the catalyst, then one can not expect anything else.<ref>[https://www.ft.com/content/782c8fce-7165-11de-a821-00144feabdc0 Berlusconi accused over tax amnesty] by Guy Dinmore (15 July 2009) ''Financial Times''.</ref><ref>[https://www.reuters.com/article/us-italy-berlusconi-dellutri-idUSBREA480U220140509 Italy court upholds mafia conviction against Berlusconi adviser] by Steve Scherer (9 May 2014, 4:11 PM)) ''Reuters''.</ref><ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20171023180233/https://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-italy-bossi/founder-of-italys-northern-league-found-guilty-in-fraud-case-idUKKBN19V1WI Founder of Italy's Northern League found guilty in fraud case] (July 10, 2017 / 8:06 AM) Reuters (archived from October 13, 2017).</ref>

===Can't shear The Cavalier?===
[[File:Silvio_Berlusconi_09072008.jpg|thumb|right|I surrender!]]
{{cquote|Italians need someone like him because he is just like them. Everybody has a mistress. Everybody cheats on taxes. Everybody does something illegal because it’s impossible to live legally. Also, we love [[authoritarian]]s. We need a strong man. If not Mussolini, well, then someone like [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]].|||A Berlusconi-employed journalist cited by Michael Wolff<ref>[http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2009/09/wolff200909 All Broads Lead to Rome] by Michael Wolff (8/10/09 at 12:00 am) ''Vanity Fair''.</ref>}}
{{cquote|Everybody knows that the dice are loaded<BR>
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed<BR>
Everybody knows the war is over<BR>
Everybody knows the good guys lost<BR>
Everybody knows the fight was fixed<BR>
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich<BR>
That's how it goes<BR>
Everybody knows|||Leonard Cohen's "Everybody Knows"<ref>[https://www.leonardcohen.com/video/everybody-knows Everybody Knows] ''Leonard Cohen''.</ref>}}

He re-united the right under his banner while the left was shattered into a thousand pieces. He built a house of cards to justify his crimes and avoid prison.<ref group="note">The previous government {{wpl|Italian referendum, 1995|made noises}} about breaking up his empire. They feared he had too much power.</ref>

*He was at one point the richest man in Italy, though we still don't know how and by whose investments he became so successful. He still controlled one of the worst broadcast panoramas in all of Italy: Mediaset, ''technically'' owned by his son.

:The opposition had no chance against him alone because his ability to reach the electorate was vastly superior to theirs.<ref>[http://www.reuters.com/article/us-italy-referendum-berlusconi-idUSKCN12J1LQ "Italy's Berlusconi returns to fray to sink PM Renzi's referendum"] by Gavin Jones (10/19/16 at 9:25am EDT) ''Reuters''.</ref>  He owned 3 of the 7 most-viewed TV channels, with 3 of those being state-owned, so in effect when he was running the government he controlled 6 out of the 7. There was a lot of subtle [[advertising]] on his channels (reality TV mostly); he perpetuated the idea that [[Name it and claim it|anyone can become a star]], which is the subject of a documentary about his reign, ''Videocracy''.<ref>{{wpa|Videocracy (film)|''Videocracy''}}</ref>

*In addition, he controlled two newspapers, ''Libero'' and ''Il Giornale'', which fully supported him and printed all kinds of defamations.<ref>[http://www.businessinsider.com/germany-infuriated-by-fourth-reich-headline-in-berlusconi-newspaper-2012-8 Germany Infuriated By 'Fourth Reich' Headline In Berlusconi Newspaper] by Roy Greenslade (8/712 at4:37 AM) ''Business Insider''.</ref>  ''Il Giornale'' is run by his somehow-sleazier brother, Paolo.

*His membership with the [[Freemason|Masonic]] {{wpl|Propaganda Due|''Propaganda Due''}}. One can't imagine how much dirt was discovered about other candidates pre-election, and yet magically he appeared like [[Jesus Christ Superstar]], without a whisper about his past (and there was a lot to cover). He even hosted a [[Organized crime|mob hitman]] in his villa for years,<ref name="day">[http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/silvio-and-the-cosa-nostra-berlusconis-links-with-italian-organised-crime-confirmed-9358790.html Silvio Berlusconi's links with Italian organised crime confirmed] by Michael Day (12 May 2014, 6:08pm BST) ''[[The Independent]]''.</ref> either as a mandatory favor to someone or, according to others, for Berlusconi's own safety. Mangano "tended the stables", but he was put there as Berlusconi's bodyguard. 
*He saved AC Milan from bankruptcy and, in his tenure as owner, won five European Cup/Champions Leagues including the only back-to-back winners for over 25 years (his appropriation of the football club's chant of "Forza Italia" for his own political purposes). In 2012, he bought Balotelli, a football superstar—implying that if their dying team could experience rebirth, Italy could too. Some polls reported that signing Balotelli got him 400,000 votes.<ref>[http://uk.reuters.com/article/us-italy-vote-balotelli-idUSBRE90T14420130130 Will "bad boy" Balotelli's return help his boss Berlusconi?] by Phillip Pullella (1/30/13 at 5:43pm GMT) Reuters.</ref>

*According to Alexander Stille, Berlusconi crafted an image for himself as an idealized Italian everyman. Young men admired him for being a clever fox. Old people knew he was rich and was therefore wrongly assumed that he was resistant to bribery. A successful businessman should be a good steward of the economy. Even his age was an asset,<ref>[https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/29/world/europe/berlusconi-italy-election.html Berlusconi Is Back. Again. This Time, as Italy’s ‘Nonno’] by Jason Horowitz (29 January 2018) ''The New York Times''.</ref> as the median age in Italy was then about 50.

*The problem was that the average Italian ''is'' like Berlusconi. The average Italian will not pay taxes if they can avoid it and will vote for the party that offers them material gain in the short term. This is due mainly to historical causes ([[Machiavelli]], the Borgia crime family,<ref>{{wpa|House of Borgia}}</ref> etc.), and it's a reaction to the in-your-face corruption they are confronted with every day. Berlusconi used educated Italians to exploit loopholes to survive,<ref>[https://www.reuters.com/article/us-italy-election-berlusconi-constructio/italys-berlusconi-suggests-amnesty-for-necessary-illegal-building-idUSKBN1FR2KH Italy's Berlusconi suggested amnesty for 'necessary' illegal buildings] (7 February 2018, 10:51 AM) ''Reuters''.</ref> because ''così fan tutte'' (everyone does it).<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2011/01/26/decadence-and-democracy-in-italy/italians-may-not-forgive-berlusconi Italians May Not Forgive Berlusconi] by Alexander Stille (February 10, 2011, 11:34 AM) ''The New York Times''.</ref>
[[File:Bush and Berlusconi share toast (2008-10-13).jpg|thumb|right|300px|Drinking buddies.]]

*It was always somebody else's fault. His past governments were always raising expenditures to buy consensus, creating huge budget issues, while he would only marginally raise [[taxes]] to compensate and blame someone else in the process.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/23/business/worldbusiness/vexed-by-rivalries-and-deficits-italys-economy.html Vexed by Rivalries and Deficits, Italy's Economy Minister Quits] by Eric Sylvers (23 September 2005) ''The New York Times''.</ref><ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/world/2005/jul/29/euro.italy The euro has screwed everybody — Berlusconi]  (19 July 2005, 9:19 AM EDT) ''The Guardian''.</ref> The discourse was always about him and how to remove obstacles that were making it difficult for him to make their lives as good as his already was. Obstacles being: opposition parties, immigrants,<ref>[http://www.theage.com.au/news/world/silvio-plays-race-card-on-day-one/2008/04/16/1208025282813.html Illegals an army of evil, says Berlusconi] by Malcolm Moore (17 April 2008) ''The Age''.</ref> [[Elitism|"elites"]] (not including himself of course), free press<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20090907004837/http://www1.adnkronos.com/AKI/English/CultureAndMedia/?id=3.0.3731963028 Italy: Berlusconi blasts media 'lies'] (4 Sept. 2009) ''Adnkronos International'' (archived from September 9, 2009).</ref> (He complained that his enemies [[Hostile media effect|enjoyed a "media monopoly"]].), and generally anybody who didn't agree with him,<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/business/2011/oct/24/merkel-sarkozy-italy-berlusconi Merkozy smirk at EU crisis summit boosts Berlusconi] by Tom Kington (24 October 2011, 5:57 AM EDT) ''The Guardian''.</ref> didn't find his jokes funny,<ref name="nazi">[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/1434870/Berlusconi-apologises-for-Nazi-gaffe.html Berlusconi apologises for Nazi gaffe] by Kate Connolly and David Hayworth (7/4/03 at 1:02AM BST) ''Daily Telegraph''.</ref> didn't find him handsome, etc. Moreover, he managed to convince many that [[Judicial activism|the judiciary was not impartial]] and that [[Persecution complex|he was being persecuted for political reasons]].<ref name="day"/><ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/oct/07/silvio-berlusconi-immunity-law-uncontitutional Italian court rules Berlusconi's immunity law unconstitutional] by John Hooper (7 October 2009, 3:26 PM EDT) ''The Guardian''.</ref><ref>[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/silvio-berlusconi/9790161/Silvio-Berlusconi-laments-communist-judges-making-him-pay-divorce-settlement.html Silvio Berlusconi laments 'communist' judges making him pay divorce settlement] by Nick Squires (9 January 2013, 11:11AM GMT) ''Daily Telegraph''.</ref><ref>[http://blogs.reuters.com/commentaries/2009/10/08/third-person-spells-trouble-in-politicians/ Third person spells trouble in politicians] by Paul Taylor (8 October 2009) ''Reuters''. And he talked about himself in the third person!</ref> This allowed many voters to dismiss his trials as part of the political battle. Berlusconi's bogus claim was that the sex scandals against him were started either by people jealous of his success or jilted women he rejected.
* He called himself 'liberal'. Of course, '''it was never "liberal" in the context of American politics''', and what he called "liberal" may have been a [[Classical liberalism|classic version]] or a form of [[Liberal conservatism|conservatism]]. He played on the fear of the [[Communism|Communist Party]] (as if they still had one) who were coming for your money and to take your home away from you. He used the clever strategy of referring to his party as "us moderates" and everyone else as [[Red-baiting|"communists.]]"<ref>[http://www.economist.com/node/1763981 "Unfit to Lead Europe"], ''[[The Economist]]'' 4.8.03.</ref><ref>[http://www.economist.com/node/12076765 "The Economist wins Berlusconi lawsuit"], ''[[The Economist]]'' 9.5.08.</ref>
[[File:Berlusconi anni 80.jpg|thumb|right|275px|He really was the proto-Trump.]]
*Italians didn't vote for him. Forza Italia polled at 20%, and 25% abstained, which left just 15% of the electorate. The problem was an election law&nbsp;— written by him, of course<ref>"Berlusconi under fire as he pushes more election reforms" by Tony Barber (12/11/05 at 7:02 pm) ''Financial Times''.</ref>&nbsp;— which split the opposition into many different parties.
*Berlusconi made up for being a douchebag by giving out tax reductions. He promised to repeal a much-loathed property tax imposed by the {{wpl|Mario Monti}} government. Unlikely as it may sound, this was a powerful move since most Italians are homeowners. He even went so far as to offer them reimbursement of all property tax ([[Euro|€]]5 billion) paid in 2012. All this in a country with a public debt of around €2.5 trillion. He pulled stunts like the tax reimbursement letter, promising to pay them out of his own pocket<ref>[https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2013-02-22/berlusconi-backs-eu4-billion-tax-refund-pledge-with-his-fortune Berlusconi Backs EU4 Billion Tax Refund Pledge With His Fortune] by Andrew Frye (2/22/13 at12:36 PM PST) ''Bloomberg''.</ref>&nbsp;— which was just electoral [[bullshit]] but led lots of clueless seniors into believing they were miraculously getting their tax money back thanks to him.<ref>[http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-21521877 Italy election: Berlusconi tax letter causes outrage] (updated 2/20/13 at 2:36pm) ''BBC''.</ref> Crowds of people lined up at post offices to demand their "refund forms", even though no such forms existed. It was also written in such a way that implied one had to have voted for Berlusconi to be eligible, making it look like a bribe.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20130224012650/http://www.gazzettadelsud.it/news/english/35419/Left-wing-opponent-files-complaint-on-Berlusconi-IMU-letter.html Left Wing Opponent Files Complaint on Berlusconi IMU Letter] (20/02/2013) ''Gazzetta del Sud''  (archived from February 24, 2013).</ref> 
*Berlusconi knew the tricks to get media attention.<ref>[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/16/silvio-berlusconi-says-emmanuel-macron-nice-lad-good-looking/ Silvio Berlusconi says Emmanuel Macron is 'a nice lad - with a good looking mum'] by Chaiara Palazzo (16 May 2017,  6:25am) ''Daily Telegraph''. Are we still paying attention to this geriatric plastic surgery victim?</ref> The media and public obsession with the guy kept growing uglier as time went on, and the debates for and against were so low and cheap that everyone forgot how to [[Critical thinking|think critically]]. The culprit was not so much the media but the opposition parties themselves that failed to present people with a solid alternative&nbsp;— or when they did (with {{wpl|Romano Prodi}}) it didn't last long because the debate was focused entirely around Berlusconi and his supporters until they become deaf even to [[Reasoning|reasoned]] arguments. In the end, Italy only got rid of Berlusconi because [[Europe]] helped… a lot.

*Berlusconi said Mussolini [[Alt-right glossary#Did nothing wrong|did good]],<ref name="mussolini">[http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/28/world/europe/berlusconi-praises-mussolini-as-good-leader.html Berlusconi Praises Mussolini as Good Leader] (January 23, 2013) ''Associated Press'' via ''The New York Times''.</ref><ref name="exile">[https://www.theguardian.com/media/2003/sep/12/italy.pressandpublishing Mussolini wasn't that bad, says Berlusconi] by John Hooper (12 September 2003, 2:57am EDT) ''The Guardian''.</ref> Then he suggested that the [[Schizofascism|EU was run by Nazis]].<ref name="nazi"/> Berlusconi on the other hand had numerous similarities with Mussolini,<ref name=ghiat/>{{rp|82-83}} including promoting [[The Great Replacement]] [[conspiracy theory]]<ref name=ghiat/>{{rp|81}} and appropriating Mussolini's slogan ("thank goodness for Mussolini" became "thank goodness we have Silvio").<ref name=ghiat/>{{rp|115}}

===Slime trail===
[[File:001VillaSMartino.JPG|thumb|right|250px|Berlusconi's villa.]]
Apart from the fact that he was still present in the political arena after leaving office (though much weakened), the ruins he left are still there. David Lane's book, ''Berlusconi's Shadow'', highlights, among other Berlusconisms, acquiescence to [[mafia|organized crime]], official corruption, and a willingness to use the authority of the [[state]] to soften restrictions on [[corporate]] wrongdoing.<ref>''Berlusconi's Shadow: Crime, Justice and the Pursuit of Power'' by David Lane (2005)  ‎ Penguin Books. ISBN 0141017708.</ref> Women saw their role in society go back about 30 or 50 years.<ref>[http://www.newsweek.com/italian-women-we-are-treated-prosciutto-66593 Italian Women: 'We Are Treated Like Prosciutto'] by Barbie Nadeau (17 April 2011, 10:00 AM) ''Newsweek''.</ref><ref>[http://www.reuters.com/article/us-italy-women-idUSTRE81D0W420120214 Italian women hope for workplace changes post-Berlusconi] by Sophia Hepnstall (14 February 2012, 9:07am EST) ''Reuters''.</ref><ref>[http://www.businessinsider.com/berlusconi-julia-gillard-helle-thorning-schmidt-2011-11 AGAIN? Silvio Berlusconi Caught Checking Out Australia's Female Prime Minister] by Adam Taylor (4 November 2011, 8:31 AM) ''Business Insider''.</ref>

Berlusconi also left behind a system of taxes so unworkable that Italians are leaving the country just because of it.<ref>[http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/a-complicated-tax-system-in-italy-buoys-berlusconi-a-926692.html How Italy's Tangled Taxes Help Berlusconi] by Christopher Alessi (10/8/13 at 2:13 PM) ''Der Spiegel''.</ref><ref>[http://blogs.lse.ac.uk/eurocrisispress/2013/10/08/the-demise-of-italy-and-the-rise-of-chaos/ The Demise of Italy and the Rise of Chaos] by Roberto Orsi (10.8.13) ''London School of Economics''.</ref> [[Ironic]], given that the Florentines invented banking. 

Berlusconi did make some cosmetic reforms to Italy: harsher prison terms for Mafiosos, a boost in infrastructure investment, more work flexibility, a ban on [[Tobacco smoking|smoking]] inside public spaces, and so on. His public spending on [[gambling]] licenses were enormous<ref>[http://www.thedailybeast.com/italys-billion-dollar-gambling-epidemic Italy’s Billion-Dollar Gambling Epidemic] by Barbie Latza Nadeau (Updated Jul. 12, 2017 1:44AM EDT; Published Jan. 28, 2013 4:45AM EST) ''Daily Beast''.</ref> and unsupported by taxes, as he lowered them. At the same time, his [[John Maynard Keynes|Keynesian]] approach to the economy acted as a sleep-inducing agent during the debt crisis.

He destroyed Italian academia in order to make [[left-wing]] people unemployed, fueling radicalization on both fronts.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/education/2008/oct/21/schools-italy Shock to the system] by John Hooper (10.20.08) ''The Guardian''.</ref> But it's O.K. because all one really need for teaching is a smock.{{onion}}  All that ''and'' consistently high youth unemployment<ref>[http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-21369139 Italy youth unemployment becomes major election issue] by Alan Johnston (9 February 2013) ''BBC''.</ref> (unless one counts pimping out one's daughters).<ref>[http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14940557 Eight charged with supplying prostitutes to Berlusconi] (16 September 2011) ''BBC''.</ref><ref>[http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-14960214 Italy scandal: Silvio Berlusconi in 'sex boast'] (17 September 2011) ''BBC''.</ref>

===Tangerine sex machine===
{{cquote|He's the sort of guy who, if you told him to go fuck himself, would give it a shot.|||Frankie Boyle, ''Mock The Week''<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkqSP0f5BnQ BBC Mock the Week - About Berlusconi] (Oct 3, 2009) ''YouTube''.</ref>}}
{{cquote|It's better to like beautiful girls than to be [[Homosexuality|gay]].|||Berlusconi on his sex scandals.<ref name="quotes"/>}}

What [[sex]] did go on was with mostly young women: some of them [[Prostitution|hired]], some of them groupies, and some of them looking to move up in the world,<ref>[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/silvio-berlusconi/9654107/Silvio-Berlusconis-party-picks-Argentinian-showgirl-as-Italian-Senate-candidate.html Silvio Berlusconi's party picks Argentinian showgirl as Italian Senate candidate] by Josephine McKenna (4 Nov 2012, 2:38PM GMT) ''Daily Telegraph''.</ref> i.e. servicing him and his wrinkled old cronies.

Berlusconi had frequent sex parties, frequently sexually exploited women,<ref name=ghiat/> and was named as a person involved in "commercial sexual exploitation of a Moroccan child" (i.e., [[statutory rape]]).<ref name=ghiat/>{{rp|134-138}}<ref>[https://archive.is/RdbQm Silvio Berlusconi named on US government report on people trafficking: Silvio Berlusconi, the Italian prime minister, has been named in a US government report on people trafficking as a result of his alleged relationship with 'Ruby the Heart Stealer'.] by Nick Pisa (2:39PM GMT 30 Oct 2011) ''The Telegraph'' (archived from 5 May 2013 12:16:58 UTC).</ref> His deep involvement in international [[sex trafficking]] even led to one of Berlusconi's chief sex traffickers, Nicole Minetti, being promoted by him and briefly becoming a regional deputy, leading to Berlusconi's government being called "whore-ocracy" (''mignottocrazia'').<ref name=ghiat/>{{rp|137}}

===Knight in shining Teflon===
{{cquote|I am without doubt the person who's been the [[Persecution complex|most persecuted in the entire history of the world and the history of man]].|||Berlusconi on his many conflicts with the Italian legal system.<ref name="quotes"/>}}
Berlusconi stood trial for mob collusion,<ref name="day"/> false [[accounting]], tax fraud, bribery of cops/witnesses/judges/senators, embezzlement, [[drug]] trafficking, wiretapping, abuse of office, and may or may not have bailed an underage [[Prostitution|hooker]] named "Ruby the Heart Stealer" out of prison. According to his own statements, he spent [[United States dollar|$]]300 million in legal fees. Now that he's dead, the legal industry in Italy might collapse.<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScDp7kyHXsw Berlusconi's Freudian slip: "I paid a lot for judges"] (Oct 10, 2009) ''YouTube''.</ref>

He was found guilty in 1 out of 32 cases, with many cases stopped due to amnesty or change of laws&nbsp;— and he himself changed them.<ref>"Move to toughen Italy's law on false accounting fails" by Tony Barber (3/4/05 at 2:00 am) ''Financial Times''.</ref><ref>[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/6538660/Silvio-Berlusconi-accused-of-changing-laws-to-his-advantage.html Silvio Berlusconi accused of changing laws to his advantage] by Nick Squires (11/10/09 at 4:58PM GMT) ''Daily Telegraph''.</ref><ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/14/world/europe/14italy.html Automatic Immunity for Berlusconi Revoked] by Elisabetta Povoledo & Gaia Pianigiani (1.13.11) ''The New York Times''.</ref>

In 2013, Berlusconi was sentenced to seven years in prison,<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/25/world/europe/milan-court-sentences-berlusconi-to-seven-years.html Berlusconi Is Sentenced to Seven Years in Sex Case, but Can Still Appeal Verdict] by Rachael Donadio & Elisabetta Povoledo (7.24.13) ''The New York Times''. Where's the corkscrew?</ref> which was overturned on appeal,<ref>[http://www.dw.com/en/ex-italian-pm-silvio-berlusconi-to-face-new-trial-over-corruption-charges/a-37316728 Ex-Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi to face new trial over corruption charges]  (1.28.16) ''Deutsche Welle''.</ref> and he was banned from holding public office. 

==Il Douche==
[[File:Berlusconi navi.jpg|thumb|right|165px|Berlusconio performing on a cruise ship in the 1950s. (Can we be sure it's him? He's not groping anybody in this picture.)]]
"Bunga-bunga" started as a joke between him and [[Muammar al-Gaddafi|Colonel Gadaffi]], whom he counted as a friend.<ref>[http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/libya-berlusconi-gaddafi-kill-478320 Silvio Berlusconi 'Ordered Italy's Secret Services to Kill Muammar Gaddafi'] by Umberto Bacchi (updated 1 July 2014, 9:31 PM BST) ''International Business Times''.</ref> Basically, it was people sitting around [[Alcohol|drinking]] and snorting [[Cocaine|coke]] while he banged on his keyboard and sang. But they were classy dinners!<ref>[http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-04-21/berlusconi-defends-27elegant27-dinner-parties/3964160 Berlusconi defends 'elegant dinner parties'] by Lisa Millar  (20 Apr 2012, 1:47pm) ''ABC''.</ref>

{{wpl|Alessandra Mussolini||,}} the granddaughter of the original, is a member of his party. She rode into power on his coattails<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGWC8z75pLk Alessandra Mussolini: 'Berlusconi is forever'] (Oct 2, 2013) ''Channel 4 News'' via ''YouTube''.</ref> and became something of an international celebrity: hot chick on a motorcycle, etc. She once claimed that "[[Fascism|fascists]] are better than [[Homosexuality|faggots]]".<ref>[http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2006/03/10/mussolinis-grand-daughter-fascists-better-than-faggots/ Mussolini’s grand daughter: 'Fascists better than faggots'] (10 March 2006) ''Pink News''.</ref>

[[Vladimir Putin]] provided Berlusconi with a little of that political leverage that he lost. Berlusconi provided him with the best bitches, parties, and food. It's understandable why the two were friends.<ref>[http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/10/19/was-putin-s-midnight-visit-to-berlusconi-about-bunga-bunga.html Was Putin’s Midnight Visit to Berlusconi About Bunga Bunga?] by Barie Natza Nadeau (10.19.14 11:22 AM ET) ''The Daily Beast''.</ref><ref>[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/11758227/Berlusconi-says-Vladimir-Putin-wants-him-to-become-Russias-economy-minister.html Berlusconi says Vladimir Putin wants him to become Russia's economy minister] by Alice Philipson (23 Jul 2015, 2:06PM BST) ''Daily Telegraph''. Feel a bit sorry for the Russians, they have corruption problems as it is.</ref> Berlusconi's deep [[authoritarian]] bromance with Putin was even parodied in {{wpl|Dario Fo||'s}} play ''The Two-Headed Anomaly'', at the end of which, [[:Fun:Brain in a vat|Putin's brain was transplanted in Berlusconi]] in the Rome premiere but Berlusconi's brain was transplanted into Putin in the Moscow production.<ref name=ghiat>''Strongmen: Mussolini to the Present'' by Ruth Ben-Ghiat (2021) W. W. Norton & Company. ISBN 0393868419.</ref>{{rp|1-3}}

Berlusconi bred even more extremist figures. Many of his disillusioned voters probably went on to vote for [[Northern League]] or the [[Five Star Movement]] (MS5):<ref>[http://www.lastampa.it/2016/11/25/esteri/lastampa-in-english/italian-pm-matteo-renzi-if-the-no-side-wins-berlusconi-will-be-negotiating-reforms-with-grillo-not-me-iExCUJCNJt5t02BP4dqUlM/pagina.html Italian PM Matteo Renzi: 'If ‘No’ wins, Berlusconi will be negotiating reforms with Grillo, not me'] by Nadia Ferrigo (Updated 11/25/16 at 7:29pm) ''La Stampa''.</ref> populists with no feasible plan and contempt for basic manners and basic education, coupled with a strongman attitude. Salvini's Northern League party is a leak of [[Marine Le Pen|Le Pen's]] worst policies: all statism and sovereignty, and other stuff that was typical of the Roman fascists. [[Beppe Grillo]] is head of the MS5, who believe in [[chemtrails]] and [[mermaid]]s.
[[File:Putin Erdogan Berlusconi 5.jpg|thumb|center|250px|Authoritarian bro fest: Putin, [[Erdogan]], Berlusconi. Let's swap [[brain]]s!]]

===Look who's back, back again===
The centre-right Coalition was born when Salvini was ahead of Forza Italia in the polls. After a couple of months, the situation was already upside down. Berlusconi aimed to redo {{wpl|Centre-right coalition (Italy)|the maneuver of 1994|,}} with Meloni/Salvini in place of Pier Ferdinando Casini/Umberto Bossi. Berlusconi could conceivably have taken power again, together with his allies.<ref>[https://www.politico.eu/article/italy-election-2017-berlusconi-lega-nord-marriage-italian-right-wing-style/ Marriage Italian (right-wing) style] by Anna Momigliano (Updated 23 December 2017, 5:40 PM CET) ''Politico''.</ref><ref>[https://www.reuters.com/article/us-italy-election-tajani/berlusconi-says-eus-tajani-would-be-wonderful-choice-for-italy-pm-idUSKBN1FE0TL Berlusconi says EU's Tajani would be 'wonderful choice' for Italy PM] (25 January 2018, 2:24 AM) ''Reuters''.</ref>

Every word of his campaign was practically a buzzphrase. A vow to deport 600,000 immigrants if elected; the usual call from a man of iron to Take Back Control/Make Italy Great Again; the promise of [[welfare]] benefits (wonder what he planned to gut to make that happen);<ref>[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/12/28/berlusconi-woes-voters-tax-breaks-pet-owners-basic-income-italians/ Berlusconi woos voters with tax breaks for pet owners and a basic income for all Italians] by John Phillips (28 December, 2017, 5:34PM) ''Daily Telegraph''.</ref> a new [[flat tax]] that did not have to finance itself thanks to the incredible Italian entrepreneurial spirit;<ref>[https://www.reuters.com/article/us-italy-election-right-brunetta/berlusconi-ally-proposes-23-percent-flat-tax-to-stimulate-italy-idUSKBN1FM1T7 Berlusconi ally proposes 23 percent flat tax to stimulate Italy] by Gavin Jones  (2 February 201, 8:19 AM) ''Reuters''.</ref> Salvini cloaking his own fascism with fine words, and Berlusconi distancing himself from racial violence, qualifying them as people who instead seek [[chaos]].<ref>[https://www.thedailybeast.com/in-italian-elections-berlusconi-takes-a-cue-from-trump-bets-big-on-bigotry In Italian Elections, Berlusconi Takes a Cue From Trump, Bets Big on Bigotry] by Barbie Latza Naudeau (5 February 2018, 1:16 PM ET) ''The Daily Beast''.</ref> 

The [[Democratic Party (Italy)|Democratic Party]] inherited the problem from his unconscionable administration,<ref>[https://www.reuters.com/article/us-migrants-italy-rescues/italy-rescues-more-than-3500-migrants-renzi-asks-for-help-idUSKBN0EB0KV20140531 Italy rescues more than 3,500 migrants, Renzi asks for help] (31 May 2014, 11:17 AM) ''Reuters''.</ref><ref>[https://www.reuters.com/article/us-europe-migrants-italy/pm-says-italy-cannot-handle-rate-of-migrant-arrivals-idUSKCN12P2LH PM says Italy cannot handle rate of migrant arrivals] (23 October 2016, 1:25 PM) ''Reuters''.</ref> and then ''stop the boats'' was the ladder they used to reelect Forza Italia, who didn't do it when they were in government:<ref>[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/2993718.stm Italy in 'fire on migrants' row] (16 June, 2003, 5:48 GMT 18:48 UK) ''BBC''.</ref>{{efn|Wait, whose name was the current immigration law? Let us think… ah yes, the Bossi Law.<ref>[https://www.reuters.com/article/uk-italy-migrants-law/italy-northern-league-founder-dismisses-criticism-of-immigration-law-idUKBRE99G14E20131017 Italy Northern League founder dismisses criticism of immigration law] by Paolo Biondi (October 17, 201312:22 PM PDT) ''Reuters''.</ref>}} When the US and [[France]] and [[United Kingdom|Britain]] were playing ''Lords of War'' in [[Libya]], Berlusconi joined in the bombing<ref>[http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-13188951 "Libya: Berlusconi backs Nato strikes by Italy jets"] (25 April 2011) ''BBC''.</ref><ref>[https://www.reuters.com/article/us-libya/italys-berlusconi-exposes-nato-rifts-over-libya-idUSTRE7270JP20110707 Italy's Berlusconi exposes NATO rifts over Libya] by Lamine Chikhi (6 July 2011, 10:35 PM) ''Reuters''.</ref> and signed the {{wpl|Dublin Regulation|EU refugee pact.}} It did not take a genius to guess that the migrants would arrive there first, rather than France or [[Germany]].<ref>[https://www.reuters.com/article/us-europe-migrants-asylum-insight-idUSKBN0OQ0EU20150610 Migrants race through Italy to dodge EU asylum rules] by Steve Scherer (10 June 2015, 2:30 AM) ''Reuters''.</ref>

==Berlusconi demonstrates his "technique"==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|81vQje8bWmo}}</center>
Ok, so that's actually from a low-budget German comedy film entitled ''Bye Bye Berlusconi'' made in 2006.<ref>[http://wonkette.com/163992/silvio-berlusconi-did-not-hump-that-particular-traffic-cop Silvio Berlusconi Did Not Hump That Particular Traffic Cop] by Alex Pareene (Mar 30, 2006) ''Wonkette''.</ref> The odd part wasn't that Italians were punk'd, so much as they ''weren't surprised at all''; they just thought it was him being himself.

It's worth noting that he never called [[Angela Merkel]] an "unfuckable lard arse"; that's an apocryphal quote. It is still widely-circulated, and he had to issue a denial on [[BBC]] ''Newsnight''.<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=188&v=SlsX3BegCkE Silvio Berlusconi - exclusive interview - Newsnight] (May 20, 2014) ''YouTube''.</ref>

==Top quotes==
[[File:Kotipizza Berlusconi.JPG|thumb|225px|{{wpl|Kotipizza#Pizza_Berlusconi|Pizza Berlusconi}}, with smoked reindeer as a topping. Really.]]
He's every Italian's embarrassing uncle!

{{cquote|Another reason to invest in Italy is that we have beautiful secretaries.|||<ref>[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3137406.stm Berlusconi vaunts Italy's secretaries] (24 September 2003, 10:30 GMT) ''BBC''.</ref>}}

{{cquote|As always, I work without interruption and if occasionally I happen to look a beautiful girl in the face, it's better to like beautiful girls than to be [[gay]].|||To a meeting of the motorcycle industry in Milan.<ref>[http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2010/11/berlusconis-new-flap-better-to-like-beautiful-girls-than-be-gay/1 Berlusconi's new flap: 'Better to like beautiful girls than to be gay'] by Michael Winter (November 2, 2010) ''USA Today''.</ref>}}

{{cquote|I am taller than [[Putin]] and [[Sarkozy]]… I don’t understand why all the caricaturists portray me as a dwarf, whereas the others are allowed a normal height.|||No, you aren't.<ref>[http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/07/19/opinion/sunday/frank-bruni-la-dolce-donald-trump.html La Dolce Donald Trump] by Frank Bruni (July 18, 2015) ''The New York Times''.</ref>}}

{{cquote|They should see it like a weekend of camping.|||On earthquake victims who were living in tents after their homes had been destroyed.<ref>[http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/apr/08/italy-earthquake-berlusconi Berlusconi: Italy earthquake victims should view experience as camping weekend] by John Hooper (April 8, 2009) ''The Guardian''.</ref>}}

{{cquote|…handsome, young and also suntanned.|||On [[Barack Obama]], ffs.<ref>[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/3392769/Silvio-Berlusconi-hails-handsome-and-suntanned-Barack-Obama.html Silvio Berlusconi hails 'handsome and suntanned' Barack Obama] by Nick Squires (November 6, 2008) ''The Telegraph''.</ref>}}

{{cquote|Mussolini never killed anyone, Mussolini sent people on holiday as exile.|||In "the context of [[Fatwa envy|a comparison with Saddam Hussein.]]"<ref name="exile" />}}

{{cquote|…Mussolini, in so many other aspects, did good.|||On [[Holocaust]] Memorial Day.<ref name="mussolini"/>}}

{{cquote|According to a survey, when asked if they would like to have sex with me, 30 per cent said, 'Yes,' while the other 70 per cent replied, 'What, again?'.|||The numbers don't lie.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20150626183746/http://gawker.com/5787535/berlusconi-thinks-30-of-italian-women-want-his-body Berlusconi Thinks 30% of Italian Women Want His Body] by Jeff Neumann (31 March 2011, 7:02 AM) ''Gawker''.</ref>}}

{{cquote|…I shall put you forward for the role of [a Kapo guard], you would be perfect… for the Germans, [[concentration camps]] never existed.|||To {{wpl|Martin Schulz||.}} President of the [[EU|European]] Parliament.<ref>[http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-27172045 Berlusconi comments on WW2 death camps spark anger] (27 April 2014) ''BBC News''.</ref> Berlusconi later excused the quote as having been meant to allude to the American TV comedy, {{wpl|Hogan's Heroes|''Hogan's Heroes''|.}}}}

{{cquote|I had to use all my playboy tactics, even if they have not been used for some time.|||Trying to convince [[Finland]] not to host the European Food Safety Authority.<ref>[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7715016.stm Berlusconi says Obama is 'tanned'] (November 8, 2008) ''BBC News''.</ref>}}

{{cquote|I'm the most persecuted man in history.|||Oh ''really'', Silvio. We thought you were just plain nuts.<ref>[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8300184.stm Berlusconi 'most persecuted man'] (October 9, 2009) ''BBC News''.</ref>}}

{{cquote|I said to Sali [Berisha], we'd make exceptions for anyone bringing over beautiful girls. You know, I'm single now.|||Silvio welcomes [[Albanian]]s&NBSP;— but only the pretty ones.<ref>[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/7223365/Silvio-Berlusconi-says-immigrants-not-welcome-but-beautiful-girls-can-stay.html Silvio Berlusconi says immigrants not welcome but 'beautiful girls' can stay] by Nick Squires (13 February 2010, 7:00 AM GMT) ''Telegraph''.</ref>}}

{{cquote|When we went to the reception room and I did not see a bidet… I said 'I want to teach these African motherfuckers that foreplay is also important.'|||Diplomacy which even Metternich could not match.<ref>[https://www.thedailybeast.com/cracking-oral-sex-jokes-power-pervert-berlusconi-mounts-a-comeback-while-italy-laughs-at-weinstein-victims Cracking Oral Sex Jokes, Power Pervert Berlusconi Mounts a Comeback] by Barbie Latza Nadeaa (15 October 2017, 9:00 PM ET) ''The Daily Beast''.</ref>}}

==See also==
*[[Jair Bolsonaro]] — You thought we were kidding. Even [[Latin America]] couldn't pass this one up.
*[[Jaime Rodríguez]] - Another nutjob conservative who shares similarities with Berlusconi.
*The brothers {{wpl|Rob Ford}} and {{wpl|Doug Ford}} — Sometimes [[Canada|those countries]] even have two.
*[[Boris Johnson]] — Because every country needs one.
*{{wpl|Clive Palmer}} — No, really, ''every'' country needs one.
*[[Donald Trump]] — You really thought ''[[United States|America]]'' was [[American exceptionalism|immune]]?
*[[Vladimir Zhirinovsky]] — Seriously, they're frigging ''everywhere''.
*[[Jacob Zuma]] — To the yin must come the yang, to the [[Nelson Mandela|Nelson]] must come a Silvio.

==External links==
*[http://static6.businessinsider.com/image/4ebc0cbb69bedd283f000009/silvio-berlusconi-economist-cover.png This cover shows how highly ''The Economist'' thinks of him.]

===Videos===
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq2Vjj7Gr9U Brooker on Berlusconi]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8NtEXnc4jY What Merkozy thought of him] 
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMX3EgnI6xg His greatest hits]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==Sources==
*David Lane.  2004.  ''Berlusconi's Shadow: Crime, Justice and the Pursuit of Power''. Penguin.  
*Alexender Stille.  2006, 2007.  ''The Sack of Rome: Media + Money + Celebrity = Power = Silvio Berlusconi''. Penguin.  pp. 14-15, 20-23.

==References==
{{reflist|2}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Berlusconi, Silvio}}
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