Hurricane Sandy

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{{Uspolitics}}[[File:Sandy Oct 28 2012 16.00(UTC).jpg|thumb|left|150x|If you can't see through the white, that's the entirety of the US East Coast.]]
'''Hurricane Sandy''' was a Category 3 [[hurricane]] and at the time it occurred was the second most costly natural disaster in US history. It caused severe devastation and loss of life with total fatalaties known reaching 233 in the [[Caribbean]] and the Northeastern [[United States]] (and a few problems in [[Canada]] and the Midwest for anyone who was paying attention). According to [[Fundie|certain people]], [[God]] sent it on its path of destruction presumably out of anger towards the U.S. because of the amount of decency [[gay]]s and atheists are treated with there, though his decision lacked foresight as it may have cost his [[Mitt Romney|preferred candidate]] the [[2012 U.S. Presidential Election|2012 United States presidential election.]] One cannot help but wonder as to the amount of confusion [[agnostic]] [[bisexual]]s give the weather pattern.

==Causes==
As is typical with storms that impact the United States in a particularly destructive way, the explanation for this one falls somewhere between [[Goddidit]] and [[gaysdidit]]. Within days of the storm's landfall, Luke Robinson, a [[Maryland]]-based 
crackpot
 
preacher
 [[crackpot]], pinned responsibility for the storm on mayor [[Michael Bloomberg]] and his support of a [[Same-sex marriage|marriage equality]] measure on the ballot in that state. Blogger John McTernan wrote that God was becoming fed up with gays infiltrating every corner of American society ([[GOProud|now staunch conservatives can be gay too]]!); in a show of inter-faith support, these claims were backed by [[Rabbi]] Noson Leiter, who cited the hurricane as [[divine retribution]] on a [[New York City|city overrun by gay shenanigans]]. Also cited by Rabbi Leiter was the appearance of a double [[rainbow]] after the storm: an [[revelation|overwhelming indicator]] that this was Flood #2. (While God had promised not to do the whole flood thing again, it was a noteworthy follow up for those of us who missed [[global flood|the first one]].)

All in all, God's pre-emptive attack against the U.S. was not unwarranted: a week later gays won (by popular vote!) the ability to get hitched in [[Washington|three]] [[Maryland|more]] [[Maine|states]],<ref>{{wpa|Same-sex marriage in the United States}}</ref> and a proposed gay marriage-banning amendment to a fourth [[Minnesota|state]]'s [[constitution]] was voted against. Further retribution can be forecasted in the future if the U.S. continues to slip down this [[Sodom and Gomorrah|very slippery slope]].

==Political effects==
As all [[Jesusland|decent Americans]] know, Mitt Romney was on the wide and clear road to winning the [[President of the United States|presidency]] before Sandy hit. Unfortunately for him, the storm interrupted his campaign and gave [[Barack Obama|his opponent]] a chance to make a comeback and look poised and dapper as ever as he took the helm, guided his countrymen through the crisis and even formed an [[Chris Christie|unlikely bromance]] in the process. Mitt Romney wound up losing pretty badly, as even a 5% shift in his direction would have still allowed Obama to win.

God probably didn't intend any of this: while he couldn't have been thrilled at the prospect of a [[Mormon]] in the [[White House]], it's a better alternative to the ''evil'' [[Muslim]] [[Hindu]] [[atheist]] or [[Antichrist]] who filled the position in the end. But hey, that's what happens when you make rash, impulsive decisions out of anger.

==Other theories==
*[[Global warming]], of course.
*Obama created the storm using [[High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program|HAARP]] in order to allow himself to look like a hero responding to a disaster, engineering an "October surprise" just a week before the election.<ref>[[Alex Jones]] is [http://www.infowars.com/hurricane-sandy-divine-wind-for-obama/ on the case!]</ref>

==In conclusion==
If you're going advocate privatizing [[FEMA]] in the midst of, at the time, the fourth-costliest hurricane in American history, you're gonna have a bad time.<ref>[http://takingnote.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/01/romney-on-fema-then-and-now/ Romney on FEMA, Then and Now], ''The New York Times''</ref>

==See also==
*[[Hurricane Katrina]]

==External links==
*[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/29/hurricane-sandy-gays-same-sex-marriage-obama-romney_n_2038781.html Exceptionally reliable news source or not, HuffPost got the scoop here]
*[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/31/hurricane-sandy-new-york-gay-marriage-law-rabbi-noson-leiter_n_2050450.html And here!]

==References==
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[[Category:United States politics]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Climatology]]
[[Category:Tropical cyclones]]

Categories: United States politics, Religion, Climatology, Tropical cyclones