Herman Cain

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[[File:Hermain Cain pokemon.jpg|thumb|165px|Gym Leader Herman Cain wants to battle!]]
{{uspolitics}}
{{cquote|A '''[[Poe's_Law|poe]]'''t once said, "Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, it’s never easy when there is so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference."|||
''[[Pokémon]]: The Movie (2000)''
 Cain's exit quip<ref group=note>His Pokémon reference can be seen [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dvq2tha6heU here]</ref>}} 
{{cquote|Masks will not be mandatory for the event, which will be attended by President Trump. PEOPLE ARE FED UP!|||Cain's last tweet prior to receiving his [[Darwin Awards|Darwin Award]].<ref>[https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-usa-cain-idUSKCN24V2OD Herman Cain, ex-presidential candidate who refused to wear mask, dies after COVID-19 diagnosis], Reuters</ref>}}
{{cquote| Herman Cain: "There is no Pandemic."
Pandemic: "There is no Herman Cain."|||Ryarod<ref>[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1yNUS_Me43E&pp=ygURSGVybWFuIGNhaW4gY292aWQ%3D Herman Cain dies after COVID-19 complications | WNT] ABC News YouTube</ref>}}
'''Herman “The Hermanator”<ref>Gail Collins, [http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/15/opinion/collins-heres-the-herminator.html "Here's the Herminator"], ''[[New York Times|NYT]]''.</ref> Cain''' {{lived|1945|2020}} was an American [[wingnut]] talk radio host, comedian, and former [[Fox News]] commentator who was angling to become the [[Republican Party|Republican]] presidential candidate in the [[2012 U.S. Presidential Election|2012 elections]], or sell a lot of books trying.<ref group=note>''This is Herman Cain'' said that Cain was becoming President, in the typical egotistic behavior of Presidential candidates. He was surely wrong.</ref> He also was CEO of Godfather's Pizza, ran Burger King franchises, and was a gospel singer.<ref group=note> Occasionally singing about pizza instead of [[YHWH]].</ref>

In the fall of 2011, Cain enjoyed a surge in polls, as [[Rick Perry|Rick P''a''rry]] faltered. By November, 2011, Cain was tied in a Top 3 race with [[Mitt Romney]] and [[Newt Gingrich]].<ref>[http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57322894-503544/poll-cain-tops-3-way-race-with-romney-gingrich/ Poll: Cain tops 3-way race with Romney, Gingrich], CBS</ref> However, as of December 3, 2011, Herman Cain "suspended" his presidential campaign amid allegations of sexual misconduct.<ref>[http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57336185-503544/herman-cain-suspends-white-house-bid/ Herman Cain drops White House bid], CBS</ref> So yes, he didn't get the nomination — maybe he'll use a Master Ball next time, and level up his Pikachu and hopefully get his hands on either Mew or Lugia. He endorsed Newt Gingrich.

He hinted that he would run again in [[2016 U.S. Presidential Election|2016]]. Responding to this statement, Jon Stewart said:

{{quotebox|It is imperative that this man run for president.<ref>Ben Cosman, [https://archive.is/Q5pzd Jon Stewart Prays to God That Herman Cain Runs for President in 2016]. Archived from ''The Wire'', 6 June 2014.</ref>|top=1}}

There is still no word yet if he had caught [[Pokémon|them]] all, but Cain, who pointedly refused to wear a mask, did catch COVID-19 and died July 30th, 2020.<ref>https://edition.cnn.com/2020/07/30/politics/herman-cain-dies-coronavirus/index.html</ref> Even from his grave, Cain’s [[Twitter]] account has engaged in COVID denialism.<ref>https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/aug/13/herman-cain-twitter-democrats-joe-biden</ref>

==Career history==
When [[Neal Boortz|Neal "Somebody's Gotta Say It!!" Boortz"]] retired due to [[2012 U.S. presidential election|his soul snapping like a Twix bar]], his substitute (Cain) returned to host on a permanent basis. Cain was basically a '70s sitcom character. He even had a catchphrase: "Shucky Ducky."

Unlike most [[conservative talk radio]] hosts, Cain was not an "all talk and no action" man; he actually had an extensive career in [[corporate]] management. Starting as a regional manager for Burger King, he turned his 400-restaurant region into a profit center and was consequently appointed the CEO of Godfather's Pizza, which at that time was under the same ownership as Burger King. Later, he purchased the Godfather's Pizza chain, continuing to run it for eight years until he left to lead a business association of restaurateurs. However, he then sat on the board of Aquila, an energy company ...that engaged in energy and commodities speculation using its employees' pensions while running itself into the ground ''a la'' [[Enron]]. Whoops. Cain and other Aquila executives settled out of court for $10.5 million.<ref>[http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/11/21/herman-cain-s-aquila-dealings-undercut-his-business-acumen-claims.html Herman Cain's Aquila Dealings Undercut His Business-Acumen Claims], ''The Daily Beast''</ref>

Prior to his career in the restaurant industry, he worked as an analyst for the U.S. [[Department of Defense]]. He also served as the chairman of the Kansas City [[Federal Reserve]] Bank for a year (the normal length a person will hold this post).

Unlike many career politicians, Cain was not old money. He grew up in a [[working class]] home and did, in fact, know what it's like to do a full day's work for a full day's pay. Cain had a bachelor's in [[math]] from Morehouse and a master's in [[computer]] science from Purdue. Yes, really (FYI, Purdue is a [[public education|public university]]).

===Suspension of campaign===
In December 2011 he announced a suspension of his campaign. It was a topping campaign, but in the end, he just couldn't deliver.<ref group=note>RationalWiki, the home of crappy puns.</ref> He would later on upload some hilariously bad political [[advertisement]]s aimed at criticizing [[Barack Obama]].<ref group=note>For the relevant videos, see [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYN-Awrq3og "This Is The Economy On Stimulus"], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdpN5C1_flQ "Rabbit"] and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1rjf7zdD-M "Chicken."]</ref>

==Political involvement==
[[File:411220960-05125219.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Herman Cain at an important press meeting, along with the inspiration for the majority of his speeches]]
Cain claimed that God spoke to him through his granddaughter, telling him to run for president. When he finally realized what God was telling, Cain claims, “I felt like Moses.”<ref>Grace Wyler, [http://www.businessinsider.com/heres-why-herman-cain-feels-like-a-modern-moses-2011-10 "Herman Cain Thinks He Is A Modern-Day Moses"], ''Business Insider''.</ref> He entered the political scene in 1993 by using [[FUD]] tactics against [[Bill Clinton]]'s [[health care]] reform plan, stating that the insurance mandate would put [[Bullshit|small employers out of business]].

Like his fellow [[small government]] advocate, [[Ron Paul]], he believed in the restoration of the [[Gold standard (economics)|gold standard]]; however, his electoral chances with goldbugs might be damaged by his former association with the Federal Reserve.

Most recently, he had been making the rounds at [[Tea Party]] get-togethers and wowing the Teabaggers with chatter about the [[American exceptionalism|singular greatness of America]].

He had an unclear opinion on [[abortion]], saying he was [[Oxymoron|anti-government and pro-life at the same time]]. He was largely without a foreign policy in mind, but said he opposed the war in [[Libya]] and would consult the experts on other issues (e.g., Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan).<ref>[http://www.humblelibertarian.com/2011/05/herman-cains-foreign-policy.html "Herman Can's Foreign Policy"]</ref>

He had some name recognition among Republicans, though nowhere near as much as [[Mitt Romney]] or Rick Perry. However, when Perry faltered, Cain became more popular, and had a surge in the polls until the infamous scandals came out. Some did not like him because he had never held elected office, but some did see this as a positive though, and that he was a businessman and not a career politician who just makes promises to get elected.

In a July 2011 poll, only forty-eight percent of Republicans and Republican-leaning independents recognized Cain.<ref>[http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0711/58580.html Herman Cain's name recognition jumps], ''Politico''</ref> This changed, and Cain gained "significant" nationwide recognition.

===The 9-9-9 Plan===
[[File:SimCity-Metropolis(lg999).jpg|thumb|right|250px|YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!]]
Cain introduced an [[Tax cuts|economic plan]] called the "9-9-9" plan, so named because it would do away with the current tax code and replace it with "a 9 percent personal [[income tax]], a 9 percent business tax and a 9 percent national sales tax". This happens to be very similar to the default tax rates in the city building video game, <i>Sim City</i>. Like all [[flat tax]] plans, this would shift the burden of taxes to those least able to pay it, in a fashion that would make the current (barely) [[progressive taxation|progressive]] tax code seem like a ''very good'' deal:

*The 46% of Americans who [[We are the 53 percent|are too poor to pay income tax]] would suddenly be charged a 9% tax on all their income; furthermore, eliminating the capital gains tax and taxing wage income (as opposed to investment income) would cause working Americans to feel a much larger tax bite than the wealthy, who often earn more money through investments than through salary. The plan would also end the payroll tax, which is used to fund programs like [[Entitlement program#In the United States|Medicare and Social Security]].
*The sales tax element also technically amounts to an increase, as there is currently no federal sales tax. In other words, state sales taxes (the tax paid today) would still exist ''on top of'' the 9% sales tax. Furthermore, it is not even clear if a federal sales tax would be [[constitution]]al, as technically the federal government only has the power to regulate ''interstate'' commerce.
*The final 9 would drop the current 35% corporate income tax to 9%.<ref>[http://www.usatoday.com/money/perfi/taxes/story/2011-10-10/herman-cain-9-9-9-tax-plan/50723976/1 Is Herman Cain's 9-9-9 tax plan fair?], ''USA Today''</ref>

You want to know how bad this idea is? ''Rick Perry'' thinks it's a bad idea.<ref>[http://articles.latimes.com/2011/oct/14/news/la-pn-perry-energy-20111014 Rick Perry talks energy, slams Herman Cain's '9-9-9' plan], ''Los Angeles Times''</ref> The man who made cuts to the fire department as wildfires ravaged [[Texas]] thinks this is a bad idea. You want to know where he got the idea? '''''Sim City'''''.<ref>[http://www.forbes.com/sites/insertcoin/2011/10/14/herman-cains-9-9-9-plan-straight-out-of-simcity/ "Herman Cain's 9-9-9 Plan Straight Out of SimCity?"]</ref>

===Cain and Islam===
Herman Cain initially stated he would not appoint a [[Muslim]] to his Cabinet, in [[Islamophobia|fear of terrorism]]. He later retracted this claim and said he would appoint Muslims<ref group=note>Probably not [[Keith Ellison]].</ref> who would pledge to support the U.S. Constitution. He also opposed the building of a mosque because there was "[[Argumentum ad populum|objection to it]]" and because of the [[separation of church and state]],<ref>[http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/herman-cain-backs-mosque-bans-152052930.html Herman cain backs mosque bans], [[Yahoo! News]]</ref> even though he was a devout [[Christian]] and former gospel singer. [[Double standard|Despite thinking]] that "separation of church and state" prohibits the building of a mosque, he claimed that the U.S. is [[The United States as a Christian nation|a Christian nation]] "under God".

==Half-assed feud with Jon Stewart==
Cain was ridiculed over his statement that bills should only be three pages on ''[[The Daily Show]]'' where Jon Stewart said that treaties will have to fit on the back of a cereal box, and the State of the Union will have to be delivered in the form of a fortune cookie.<ref>[http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-june-9-2011/c--k-blocked-roundup---tim-pawlenty---herman-cain C#@k-Blocked Roundup - Tim Pawlenty & Herman Cain]</ref> Both Cain and Stewart were invited on [[Fox News|Fox]]'s ''[[Bill O'Reilly|The O'Reilly Factor]]'' on separate segments when [[NPR#Damn liberals using our tax money to ban Jesus and spread the gay!|Juan Williams]] was guest hosting. Cain accused Stewart of being [[racist]] by using an Amos n' Andy accent.<ref>[http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/oreilly/transcript/herman-cain-jon-stewart-doesnt-me-because-im-black-conservative Herman Cain: "Jon Stewart Doesn't Like Me Because I'm Black, Conservative"]</ref> Bernie Goldberg also appeared on another segment and [[Concern troll|sarcastically said]] that liberals who criticize Cain or any other [[African-American]] conservative should be called racists.

==Potential sexual harassment==
Politico reported on Halloween 2011 that two women complained of Cain's sexually aggressive behavior, and later agreed to a settlement. Herman Cain [[Doublethink|had at times denied the charges, and at other times acknowledged them]], but mostly blamed Rick Perry for releasing them to the media. Cain believed that these charges would not affect his campaign, but they inevitably did.

===In a nutshell===
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==External links==
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20200730152529/http://www.hermancain.com/ Campaign website] (30 July 2020 snapshot) — Please please please come back.
*[http://www.theguardian.com/world/richard-adams-blog/2011/oct/25/herman-cain-smoking-ad-video Herman Cain's smoking gums: the worst ad in the history of politics], ''The Guardian''
*[http://thecolbertreport.cc.com/videos/e3y9nd/rock-me-like-a-herman-cain-south-cain-olina-primary-rally---cain-elot-revisited Rock Me Like a Herman Cain!]
*[https://twitter.com/hermancainaward The Herman Cain Awards] — A new version of the [[Darwin Awards]], given to anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, and COVID denialists who die of COVID-19.
*[https://reddit.com/r/hermancainaward r/HermanCainAward]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfJCYZ06IGI Parody of the infamous campaign ad with Mike Tyson]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note|2}}

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

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Categories: 2012 US Presidential candidates, Anti-abortion activists, Atheophobia, Authors, Business, Chickenhawks, Christians, COVID-19 denialists, Failed Tea Party candidates, Fundamentalists, Global warming denialists, Homophobes, Islamophobes, Murdochsphere, Musicians, Perennial candidates, Political pundits, Radio, Right-wing activists, Sexists, Tea Party, Theocracy, Transphobes, United States politicians, We're on a mission from God