Gwyneth Paltrow

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[[File:GwynethPaltrowTIFF00.jpg|right|thumb|165px|"What, ''you've'' never yawned correctly while getting stung by bees during a vaginal steaming session? Psschoff!"]]
{{newage}}
{{altmed}}
{{cquote|She does, admittedly, receive a lot of criticism, but is that really fair? After all, she's actually doing remarkably well for someone who was stranded here after travelling from an alternative dimension where the language, social norms and even the laws of nature are completely different. Because that's the most logical explanation for the stuff she regularly says and does.|||Dean Burnett<ref name=Guardian>[https://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2016/apr/06/gwyneth-paltrows-bee-sting-beauty-treatment-just-wont-fly Gwyneth Paltrow's bee sting beauty treatment just won't fly], [[The Guardian]]</ref>}}

{{cquote|I don't think anything that's natural can be bad for you.|||Gwyneth Paltrow, [[Appeal to nature|fallaciously ignorant of 100% natural]] black widow spiders}}

'''Gwyneth Kate Paltrow''' {{lived|1972}} is an American Oscar-winning actress, fashion guru, and wholehearted promoter of [[Crank magnetism|an expansive range]] of nutty [[pseudoscience]]s (usually [[alternative medicine]] and beauty products). She owns/runs the website '''Goop.com''' (named for her initials<ref name=NYT>[http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/22/fashion/22gwyneth.html?_r=1 Martha, Oprah ... Gwyneth?], [[New York Times]]</ref>), which pushes the exact same bullshit (but has extra writers).

==(Lack of) expertise==
{{cquote|Paltrow is the perfect symbol of popular culture in our world right now. Providing advice is part of her brand. [....] [S]he really seems to believe it, it's not just some kind of marketing ploy. I think she should be held to a standard and that standard should be science. But (her advice) is complete bunk. I dug and I dug and I dug – there is nothing to support it.|||Timothy Caulfield (author of a 3-year-long review of Paltrow's mouth-spew, ''Is Gwyneth Paltrow Wrong About Everything?'')<ref name=Glam>[http://glamour.co.za/2015/05/is-gwyneth-paltrow-wrong-about-everything/ Is Gwyneth Paltrow wrong about everything?], Glamour Magazine</ref><ref name=Aust>{{Archived}}[http://archive.ph/CGDzL#selection-1767.0-1767.63 Gwyneth Paltrow celebrity health tips leaves scientist steaming], The Australian</ref>}}
Does Paltrow have any scientific education to back up her claims?

Nope! After attending the uber-wealthy {{wpl|Spence School||,}}<ref>[http://www.ew.com/article/2011/01/12/gwyneth-paltrow-why-do-they-hate-her Gwyneth Paltrow: Why do so many people hate on her?], Entertainment Magazine</ref> Paltrow briefly "[s]tudied anthropology at the University of California at Santa Barbara, before dropping out to pursue her acting career."<ref>[http://www.myplan.com/education/colleges/famous_alumni.php Famous Alumni Directory], myplan.com</ref> And thus ends Paltrow's expertise in medicine.

==Pseudoscience pushing==
{{cquote|Nourish the Inner Aspect|||Goop's slogan, [[deepity|feel-good but meaningless]]<ref name=NYT />}}
List of [[woo]] that Paltrow or Goop has promoted:

*[[Vaginal steaming]]: Yes, you read that correctly.<ref name=Aust /><ref name=ind /><ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20150201021926/http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2015/01/29/snake-oil-alert-why-gwyneth-paltrow-gets-her-vagina-steam-cleaned-and-why-you-probably-shouldnt Snake Oil Alert: Why Gwyneth Paltrow Gets Her Vagina Steam-Cleaned, and Why You Probably Shouldn’t], by Friendly Atheist, ''[[Patheos]]''</ref><ref>[http://www.redbookmag.com/body/pregnancy-fertility/news/a21030/vaginal-steam-treatment/ Vaginal Steaming Is a "Must" For Gwyneth Paltrow, But Not for Everyone], Redbook</ref><ref>[http://www.doctorpari.com/2015/02/02/gwynnie-is-no-gyno/ Gwynnie Is No Gyno]. Link broken.</ref>
*[[Colonics]], including a $135 [[coffee]] enema called "The Implant O'Rama"<ref>[https://goop.com/wellness/detox/the-nuts-and-bolts-of-colonics/ The Nuts and Bolts of Colonics] ''Goop''</ref><ref>[http://www.implantorama.com/ The Implant O'Rama website]</ref><ref>[https://www.bustle.com/p/what-is-a-coffee-enema-goop-is-facing-backlash-for-linking-to-this-potentially-dangerous-cleanse-7812544 What Is A Coffee Enema? Goop Is Facing Backlash For Linking To This Potentially Dangerous Cleanse] by Brandi Neal (January 6, 2017) ''Bustle''.</ref>
*Putting a jade or rose quartz egg up the vagina. This can get infections into the vagina and cause potentially fatal toxic shock.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20170120201845/http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/01/18/uh-oh-gwyneth-paltrow-is-dispensing-terrible-vagina-advice-again-2/ Uh-Oh! Gwyneth Paltrow Is Dispensing Terrible Vagina Advice Again!], by Friendly Atheist, ''[[Patheos]]''</ref><ref> [http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2017/01/19/they-got-rocks-in-their-hoo-ha/ They got rocks in their hoo-ha], [[Pharyngula]]</ref><ref>[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2017/01/19/gwyneth-paltrow-sells-a-jade-vagina-egg/ Gwyneth Paltrow sells a jade vagina egg], ''Why Evolution Is True''</ref> In 2018, Goop agreed to pay $145,000 for making false claims regarding the eggs in a settlement with [[California]] state prosecutors; the false claim had stated, "increase vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general".<ref name=wang>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2018/09/05/gwyneth-paltrows-goop-touted-benefits-putting-jade-egg-your-vagina-now-it-must-pay/ Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop touted the ‘benefits’ of putting a jade egg in your vagina. Now it must pay] by Amy B Wang (September 5 at 3:36 PM) ''The Washington Post''.</ref> 
Suckers
 Consumers who bought the eggs are also entitled to full refunds.<ref name=wang/>
*Psychological [[astrology]]: Don't know why you're an idiot? Blame the planets, and then you'll be sure.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20160403030041/http://goop.com/a-psychologist-astrologer-on-using-your-sun-sign-to-navigate-conflict/ A Psychologist Astrologer on Using Your Sun Sign to Navigate Conflict], ''Goop''</ref>
*Pissing in the shower (for health reasons): Again, you read that correctly.<ref name=ind /><ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20150726025747/http://goop.com/the-secrets-of-the-pelvic-floor The Secrets of the Pelvic Floor], ''Goop''</ref>
*[[Apitherapy]]: Specifically, deliberately getting bees to sting oneself.<ref name=Guardian /><ref>[https://www.thecut.com/2016/04/gwyneth-paltrow-bees-beauty.html Gwyneth Paltrow Has Been Stung by Bees, for Beauty], The Cut</ref>
*Yawning ''correctly'' (for health reasons)!<ref name=ind /><ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20150711030253/http://goop.com/why-yawning-is-important-and-how-to-optimize-the-reflex/ Why Yawning is Important—And How to Optimize the Reflex], ''Goop''</ref>
*[[Science doesn't know everything]]:
:*Goop is happy to report that one of their suppliers, Anthony, "gets his information from 'Spirit'—not from medical textbooks or studies."<ref name=Heavy>[https://web.archive.org/web/20160123083338/http://goop.com/a-heavy-metal-detox/ A Heavy Metal Detox], ''Goop''</ref><ref group=note>(Perhaps God really ''does'' move in [[mysterious ways]] -- but instead of writing Bibles, he's busy helping you learn the secrets of the universe for only $19.99.)</ref>
:*Moreover, Goop claims that scientists are [[Scientific dogma|indoctrinated]] against alternative medicines and [[other ways of knowing]].<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20151107215809/http://goop.com/the-medical-medium-and-whats-potentially-at-the-root-of-medical-mysteries/ The Medical Medium—and What’s Potentially at the Root of Medical Mysteries], ''Goop''</ref> While certainly not "indoctrinated", scientists are trained in [[Scepticism|critical thinking]] and [[Scientific_method|the scientific method]] — [[Dunning-Kruger_effect|precisely the skillset]] that Gwyneth & Co lack, allowing them to accept their own current beliefs in the first place.
*[[Annee de Mamiel]]: Skin-cream maker and woomeister extraordinaire (but extraordinary mostly in her insane prices).<ref name=Goop>[https://web.archive.org/web/20160313080036/http://goop.com/the-new-secret-beauty-formula-intention/ The New Secret Beauty Formula: Intention], ''Goop''</ref>
*After riding airplanes, making sure to go to a nice warm, dank sauna and "sweat out" the germs.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/13/travel/gwyneth-paltrow-travel-tips.html How Gwyneth Paltrow Likes to Travel], [[New York Times]]</ref>
*The debunked<ref name=ind>{{Archived}}[http://web.archive.org/web/20151227121258/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/gywneth-paltrows-goop-worst-advice-from-the-eccentric-lifestyle-website-a6704126.html Gywneth Paltrow's Goop: Worst advice from the eccentric lifestyle website], The Independent</ref> [[bra]]-breast cancer link.<ref>{{Archived}}[http://web.archive.org/web/20151020062642/http://goop.com/could-there-possibly-be-a-link-between-underwire-bras-and-breast-cancer/ Could There Possibly Be a Link Between Underwire Bras and Breast Cancer??], ''Goop''</ref>
*Miscellaneous [[quantum]] woo (including that of [[Masaru Emoto]] and Habib Sadeghi).<ref name=words>{{Archived}}[http://web.archive.org/web/20140531132151/http://www.goop.com/journal/go/286/goop-mag-16 Goop Mag 16], ''Goop''</ref><ref name=Intention>[https://web.archive.org/web/20160313080036/http://goop.com/the-new-secret-beauty-formula-intention/ The New Secret Beauty Formula: Intention], ''Goop''</ref><ref name=Slate>[http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/03/11/gwyneth_paltrow_s_goop_endorses_skincare_products_that_are_nurtured_with.html The Goop-iest Goop That Ever Gooped: Skincare Products Nurtured with Chants and Music], ''Slate''</ref><ref name=SC>[http://stylecaster.com/gwyneth-paltrow-masuru-emoto-water-has-feelings-goop/ Gwyneth Paltrow Claims Water Has Feelings in Weird New Blog Post], ''Stylecaster''</ref><ref name=stuff>[http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/celebrities/10123082/Gwyneth-Paltrow-Yelling-at-water-hurts-its-feelings Gwyneth Paltrow: Yelling at water hurts its feelings], ''Stuff''</ref>
*[[Water memory]]: Because kinda-sentient water makes [[homeopathy]] possible and sounds really cool.<ref name=words /><ref name=Intention /><ref name=Slate /> (A particularly memorable<ref group=note>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YMPAH67f4o Get it?]</ref> example is that yelling at water hurts its feelings.)<ref name=SC /><ref name=stuff />
*[[Colon cleanse]]s: A shitty idea, ''har!''<ref>{{Archived}}[http://web.archive.org/web/20201112040741/http://gawker.com/5873449/gwyneth-paltrow-now-sells-goop-colon-cleanses Gwyneth Paltrow Now Sells GOOP Colon Cleanses]</ref>
*[[Ayurvedic medicine]]: The [[Appeal to ancient wisdom|older a medicine is, the more power it has]]. Fact.<ref name=Intention /><ref name=Slate />
*[[Faith healing]].<ref name=Intention /><ref name=Slate />
*[[Crystal woo]] and [[crystal healing]].<ref name=Intention /><ref name=Slate />
*[[Sound healing]].<ref name=Intention /><ref name=Slate />
*[[Aromatherapy]].<ref name=Intention /><ref name=Slate />
*[[Acupuncture]].<ref name=Intention /><ref name=Slate />
*[[Essential oils]].<ref name=Intention /><ref name=Slate />
*Stickers that promote "wellness", a snip at $60-$120.<ref>[https://www.businessinsider.com/do-healing-stickers-work-2017-6?IR=T Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop's latest health fad was so bad that NASA got involved], ''Business Insider''</ref>
*And of course: "spirit truffles"<ref>[http://goop.com/recipes/spirit-truffles/ Spirit Truffles], ''Goop''</ref> that contain "spirit dust"<ref>[https://www.moonjuiceshop.com/collections/tonics-dusts/products/spirit-dust Listing for Spirit Dust]. Note that it sells for '''38 fucking dollars.'''</ref> (presumably a blend of artisanally hand-crushed, organic human souls—hopefully not sweetened with {{wpl|mellified man}}).<ref name=ind />

===Hypocrisy===
In case you were wondering:
*Paltrow "smoke[s] one cigarette a week".<ref>[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2307543/Gwyneth-Paltrow-admits-surgery-cigarette-week-revealing-new-interview.html 'I smoke one cigarette a week': Gwyneth Paltrow the health fanatic reveals her vice... and vows to NEVER get Botox again], ''[[Daily Mail]]''</ref> Those '''''toxins''''' sure are nasty, aren't they?
*Paltrow simultaneously sells [[aluminum]]-containing products, and claims that aluminum is "one of the greatest threats to our health and well-being".<ref>[http://www.forbes.com/sites/kavinsenapathy/2016/07/21/gwyneth-paltrow-sells-toxic-goop/ Gwyneth Paltrow Sells 'Toxic' Goop With Ingredients She Says Are Dangerous], ''[[Forbes]]''</ref>

==Bad art yacht club==
Paltrow was one of several celebrity bandwagoneers to have purchased [[cryptocurrency]]-based [[non-fungible tokens]] in an attempt to be trendy or cool.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20231222092838/https://www.theboredapegazette.com/post/actress-gwyneth-paltrow-joined-the-bored-ape-yacht-club-yesterday-evening Actress Gwyneth Paltrow Joined The Bored Ape Yacht Club Yesterday Evening] (Feb 8, 2022) ''The Bored Ape Gazette'' (archived from December 22, 2023).</ref><ref>''Number Go Up: Inside Crypto's Wild Rise and Staggering Fall'' by Zeke Faux (2023) Crown Currency. ISBN 0593443810.</ref>{{rp|141-142}}

==In touch with the people==
{{cquote|I am who I am. I can't pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.|||Gwyneth (and it's all thanks to those auradiagnostic woo products goin' like Evian in Death Valley!)<ref>[http://nypost.com/2009/02/05/the-girl-who-fell-to-earth/ THE GIRL WHO FELL TO EARTH], ''[[New York Post]]'' </ref>}}
Paltrow's take on the human experience obviously has nothing to do with the (in)validity of her favored products. However, since Paltrow often promotes these products as part of her "lifestyle" brand (and thus ties these products to her own success), it's perhaps worth mentioning that Paltrow is hardly a down-to-earth angel, commenting (in a veritable orgasm of relatability):<ref>[http://stylecaster.com/gwyneth-paltrow-most-ridiculous-pretentious-quotes/ Gwyneth Paltrow’s 25 Most Pretentious Quotes], ''Stylecaster''</ref>

{{quotebox|When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, 'No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris?'}}

"I ''know'', right?!"

==Nugget of good==
{{main|Stopped clock}}
Paltrow starred in ''[[Contagion]]'', a movie that portrays scientists as hardworking, goodhearted people and portrays alternative-medicine pushers as moneygrubbers. In other words, it rebuffs precisely the kind of woo that Paltrow promotes – and more ironically, ''she was Patient Zero for the pandemic.''

==See also==
*[[Appeal to celebrity]]
*{{wpl|Jennifer Gunter}}, the obstetrician-gynecologist who has painstakingly debunked Paltrow's woo
*[[Princess Märtha Louise]]

==External links==
*[http://goop.com/ Goop.com], Paltrow's website
*[https://twitter.com/GwynethPaltrow Account] at [[Twitter]]
*[https://www.facebook.com/GwynethPaltrowOfficial/ Account] at [[Facebook]]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

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{{DEFAULTSORT:Paltrow, Gwyneth}}

[[Category:Actors]]
[[Category:Alternative medicine promoters]]
[[Category:California]]
[[Category:Cryptocurrency]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Pseudoscience promoters]]
[[Category:Purity culture]]

Categories: Actors, Alternative medicine promoters, California, Cryptocurrency, Living people, Pseudoscience promoters, Purity culture