Scientific storkism

[[File:Buster Brown baby.jpg|thumb|right|165px|Stork delivery service!]]
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{{cquote|If the theory of sexual reproduction is taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth. Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also be taught.|||Erkki Aalto<ref name=storkism>Erkki Aalto.  "[http://alt.atheism.narkive.com/oz8WkefV/scientific-storkism Ovulation versus cretinism]."</ref>}}
'''Scientific storkism''', AKA '''intelligent delivery''' or '''Stork theory''', is a parody of [[intelligent design]], presenting itself as the [[Pseudoscience|scientific]] belief that human babies do not come about by the [[Methodological naturalism|naturalistic]], materialistic, [[scientific theory]] (and it's [[just a theory]]) of [[Sex|reproductive biology]].

==Verification==

#Scientific storkism, like its close relative, [[scientific creationism]], may be verified by demonstrating that somehow, somewhere, there is something wrong with reproductive biology. If there is something wrong with reproductive biology, scientific storkism must be true.
#One argument for Intelligent Delivery is that there are [[Irreducible complexity|irreducibly complex]] features of living things, which therefore could not come about by gradual, random, reproductive processes, and therefore must have been intelligently delivered.
#Another argument is that, for reproduction to work, the male cannot have been reproduced before the female, nor the female before the male.
#Then there is the argument that Intelligent Delivery must be true because the alternative, Reproductive Biology, is self-defeating.  If we come about by a naturalistic process of reproduction, then how can we trust our knowledge? If we are the result of reproduction, then our knowledge of that fact is unreliable. Therefore, we must be designed. After all, if we are designed, then obviously our knowledge is reliable, because aren't all designed things reliable? And our maker must be supernatural, for anything supernatural would never be malicious, right?
#Studies have shown a significant correlation between the number of storks and the number of child deliveries in a given area, offering strong empirical support for Intelligent Delivery.<ref>Höfer et al. (2004): [http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1365-3016.2003.00534.x/abstract New evidence for the Theory of the Stork]. Paediatric and Perinatal Epidemiology, 18: 88–92.</ref><ref name=storkism/>
#Further, it is argued that at least one [[virgin birth|counterexample]] exists, falsifying [[Sex|the other theory]].

==Innovation==
A recent innovation in storkism is [[Intelligent design|Intelligent Delivery]], availing the Big Top strategy, which encompasses other beliefs about where babies come from, such as the Cabbage Patch Theory. Intelligent Delivery does not concern itself with controversies among the opponents of reproductive biology and does not decide for The Stork as being the Intelligent Deliverer. Intelligent Delivery contends that certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as reproduction. (Whatever that best explanation might be is beyond the scope of Intelligent Delivery to describe, as well as what that intelligent cause might be, or where it operates, or what those features might be. It might be The Stork, and it might be in The Cabbage Patch, and it might be that the baby resembles the milkman. Who knows?) 

At least, to be fair, the schools should give equal time to Intelligent Delivery, and let the kids decide which makes sense.

==See also==

*[[Intelligent falling]]
*[[Flying Spaghetti Monster]]
*[[Santa Claus]]
*[[Essay:Storkism]]

==External links==
*[http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2010/08/29/intelligent-gestation-theory/ Intelligent Gestation Theory] 
*[https://paulbraterman.wordpress.com/2014/05/24/intelligent-delivery-storkism-and-the-weaknesses-of-the-uterine-theory/ Intelligent Delivery Storkism versus Uterine Development Theory] at Paul Braterman's blog, ''Eat Your Brains Out; Exploring Science, Exposing Creationism'', May 24, 2014
*[http://www.antievolution.org/features/evohumor/storkism.html The theory of Scientific Storkism]
*[http://dysovary.pbworks.com/w/page/18441913/FrontPage Disovary Institute - Center for Seances and Sub-Culture]
*{{wpl|Preformation}} the Wikipedia article on the ''serious'' theory of preformation, supported by many talented and informed natural philosophers (that is, scientists) in the 18th century
*[http://www.uncommondescent.com/intelligent-design/are-dreams-incompatible-with-materialism/ Are Dreams Incompatible With Materialism] ''Are Dreams Incompatible With Materialism?'' asks nkendall at uncommondescent.com "Serving the Intelligent Design Community". This applies the methodology of "Intelligent Design" to dreams. Showing that the methodology has general application.
*[https://www.thrillist.com/travel/nation/cabbage-patch-kids-babyland-general-hospital-georgia Nothing Could Prepare Me for the Bizarre 'Live Birth' Experience at Babyland Hospital] Evidence supporting Cabbage Patch Theory

==References==
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[[ru:Научный креаистонизм]]
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[[Category:Intelligent alternatives]]
[[Category:Creationism]]
[[Category:Parody]]

Categories: Intelligent alternatives, Creationism, Parody