President of the United States

[[File:Seal Of The President Of The United States Of America.svg|thumb|165px|Not to be taken as a sign that this page has been given any kind of official seal of approval]]
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{{cquote|No president starts with a clean slate. Upon entering the Oval Office each confronts an imposing and often problematic inheritance. Constraints, some foreign, others domestic, limit his freedom of action. Struggling to control (or even to understand) that inheritance and to elude those constraints, presidents fail at least as often as they succeed. Pretending to the role of Decider, a president all too often becomes little more than the medium through which power is exercised. Especially on matters related to national security, others manufacture or manipulate situations to which presidents then react.|||Andrew J. Bacevich, ''Washington Rules: America's Path to Permanent War''<ref>Bavevich, Andrew J., 2010. ''Washington Rules: America's Path to Permanent War''. New York: Metropolitan Books, p. 31. ISBN 978-0-8050-9141-0</ref>}}
The '''President of the United States''' ('''POTUS''') is the head of the executive branch of the federal government of the [[United States]].<ref>[https://bensguide.gpo.gov/a-executive The Executive Branch], ''Ben's Guide''</ref> This means they are responsible for approving and carrying out laws ratified in [[United States Congress|Congress]], the legislative branch.<ref>[https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/1600/executive-branch The Executive Branch], ''The White House - President Barack Obama'' </ref>

During the [[Cold War]] (and even currently, though to a lesser extent), Americans would refer to their [[Republic#President|president]]s as "the leader of the free world".<ref>[https://www.infobloom.com/what-does-the-leader-of-the-free-world-mean.htm What does the "Leader of the Free World" Mean?], ''InfoBloom''</ref> This was due to America's place of [[Hyperpower|power]] in world politics, the President's high degree of autonomy and influence in the U.S. and [[American exceptionalism|the general American belief that the rest of the world admires them in some way]].

Due to Congress and the [[Supreme Court of the United States|Supreme Court]] (in theory) splitting power away from the executive branch and unlike most other presidential systems, the presidency has by-and-large managed to avoid turning into a [[dictatorship]].<ref group=note>For now at least.</ref>

==Constitutional issues==
The President is elected via a convoluted, semi-democratic [[United States Electoral College|process]] at four-year intervals. After FDR won ''four'' presidential terms—which kind of freaked out some people because it was the first time a president stayed past two terms—the [[United States Constitution#22nd Amendment|22nd Amendment]] (1951) was ratified to limit the president to two terms in office, so s/he wouldn't get too popular.<ref>[https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/how-we-wound-up-with-the-constitutions-only-term-limits-amendment On this day: Term limits for American Presidents], ''Constitution Daily'', February 27, 2021</ref><ref group=note>Too popular, in this sense, means well-liked by a populace who feel they would be imprisoned or executed if they didn't.</ref> Many countries have emulated both the U.S.' executive presidency and its limits on re-election. However, this does not keep popular presidents from trying to run for more terms than allowed by the [[United States Constitution|Constitution]].

The Constitution also confers various rights and responsibilities to the office of the Presidency. For instance, the Appointments Clause (Article II, Section 2, Clause 2) of the Constitution empowers the President with the power to appoint public officials at executive departments and federal agencies, members to the boards of directors for government-owned corporations, and foreign ambassadors/ministers/consuls (however most of these are "by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate").<ref>[https://constitution.congress.gov/browse/article-2/section-2/clause-2/ Article 2 Section 2 Clause 2], ''Constitution Annotated''</ref> Other powers include the power to pardon people convicted of federal crimes, including commuting sentences which effectively could change the punishment to time served (Article II, Section 2, Clause 1), and the power to issue executive orders, which have the binding force of law upon federal agencies, but do not require approval of the United States Congress and are subject to judicial review and interpretation (Article II, loosely<ref>[https://crsreports.congress.gov/product/pdf/R/R46738 "Executive Orders: An Introduction" (PDF)], Congressional Research Service. 29 March 2021.</ref>).

Article II, Section 2, Clause 1 confers the title of "commander in chief of the armed forces" to the President of the United States in order to maintain the structure that puts a civilian leader above all [[United States Armed Forces|military]] positions. Civilian control of the military is a Big Frigging Deal.<ref>[http://www.unc.edu/depts/diplomat/AD_Issues/amdipl_3/kohn.html Why Civilian Control Matters], UNC</ref>

The President is empowered by the Appointments Clause with nominating Supreme Court justices, as well as court of appeals judges and district court judges via Article III, when seats become vacant. These nominations must pass approval in the [[United States Congress#The Senate|Senate]] before they are confirmed.<ref>[https://guides.ll.georgetown.edu/c.php?g=365722&p=2471070 Nomination & Confirmation Process], ''Georgetown Law''</ref>

==Presidents from the ratification of the Constitution to the Civil War (1789–1865)==
===George Washington (1789–1797)===
{{main|George Washington}}
The first president, the only one to be unaffiliated with a [[political party]]<ref>[https://www.mountvernon.org/george-washington/the-first-president/political-parties/ Political Parties], ''Mount Vernon George Washington''</ref> (and the only one to be elected unanimously),<ref>[https://www.mountvernon.org/george-washington/the-first-president/election/10-facts-about-washingtons-election/ 10 Facts About President Washington's Election], ''Mount Vernon George Washington''</ref> being dragged out of retirement. Before the presidency, he was a lackluster general of the [[American Revolution|Continental Army]]. During his term, the federal government assumed the debts of the [[state]]s and established a [[central bank|national bank]]. Resolved the [[Whiskey Rebellion]] (somewhat) peacefully. Helped improve post-war relations with [[United Kingdom|Britain]],<ref>[https://www.nps.gov/articles/jay-s-treaty.htm Autumn 1794: George Washington supports the Jay Treaty, forestalling war with Britain], ''National Park Service'', May 24, 2016</ref> and declared neutrality in regards to [[Europe]]an political affairs, including the emerging [[French Revolution]].<ref>[https://www.mountvernon.org/library/digitalhistory/digital-encyclopedia/article/neutrality-proclamation/ Neutrality Proclamation], ''Mount Vernon George Washington''</ref> Declined to run for a third term, setting the two-term tradition for future presidents that would be successfully [[Franklin D. Roosevelt|broken just once]].{{efn|Though several two-term presidents tried to run for a third term, both consecutive and not—none of them successful before FDR.<ref>[https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/historically-odds-were-stacked-against-any-president-seeking-a-third-term/ Historically, odds were stacked against any President seeking a third term], ''Constitution Daily'', December 27, 2016</ref>}} Upon leaving office, he warned America against forming political parties and meddling in foreign affairs, the latter of which is good advice which was promptly forgotten or ignored.

===John Adams (1797–1801)===
{{main|John Adams}}
Adams was the first [[Vice President of the United States|vice president]] to become president, the only [[Federalist Party|Federalist]] president,<ref>[https://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/us-history/road-to-revolution/creating-a-nation/a/presidency-of-john-adams The presidency of John Adams], ''Khan Academy''</ref> and somewhat [[Authoritarianism|authoritarian]]. He warned, "Remember, democracy never lasts long" and suggested that the president be addressed as "His Majesty".<ref>[https://time.com/5459916/american-monarchy/ Why America’s Founders Tried to Recruit a Foreign Prince to Be Their King—And How That Moment Holds a Warning for Today], ''Time'', November 26, 2018.</ref> He successfully ended the Quasi War with [[France]], following the XYZ affair, and kept America all out of war with [[Europe]]. Unfortunately, he also signed the Alien and Sedition Acts into law, which made [[immigration]] to the country more difficult and outlawed criticism of the President, Congress, or government.<ref>[https://www.ushistory.org/us/19e.asp 19e. The Alien and Sedition Acts], ''U.S. History''</ref> Fortunately, these acts were swiftly done away with once Jefferson became president. Adams lacked charisma and didn't get along or cooperate with the other [[Founding Fathers]]. He died on July 4, 1826, the 50th anniversary of the ratification of the Declaration of Independence.<ref name=constituioncenter>[https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/three-presidents-die-on-july-4th-just-a-coincidence Three Presidents Die on July 4th: Just a Coincidence?], ''Constitution Daily'', July 4, 2021</ref>

===Thomas Jefferson (1801–1809)===
{{main|Thomas Jefferson}}
A [[France|Francophile]]<ref group=note>At least they knew he knew where France was.</ref> and the first [[Democratic-Republican Party|Democratic-Republican]] President. A tall and handsome redheaded Virginian, he is remembered for being the primary author of the [[United States Declaration of Independence]].<ref>[https://www.monticello.org/thomas-jefferson/jefferson-s-three-greatest-achievements/the-declaration/jefferson-and-the-declaration/ Thomas Jefferson and the Declaration of Independence], ''Monticello.org''</ref> Believed in [[Small government|limited federal government]] and [[Originalism|adherence to the Constitution]] (which he conveniently ignored while taking over the [[Fun:Louisiana|Louisiana]] Territory). Also founded the University of [[Fun:Virginia|Virginia]] and authored the [[Jefferson Bible]].<ref group=note>He dictated [https://www.loc.gov/exhibits/jefferson/jeffleg.html his own gravestone] on his deathbed, crediting him as "Author of the Declaration of Independence [and] of the Statute of Virginia for religious freedom & Father of the University of Virginia." Note: he was prouder of those than that he was the freaking ''president'' for eight years.</ref> Historians have been debating for years whether he was the most or least racist of the Founding Fathers.

He initiated the first overseas war the United States was ever a part of, the First Barbary War (Barbary being the [[English|Anglophone]] world's name for the North [[Africa]]n states of the time, even though only two of those states were involved in the conflict).<ref>[https://www.americanhistorycentral.com/entries/first-barbary-war/ The First Barbary War (1801-1805) was the first overseas war conducted by the United States. The nations on the Barbary Coast of Morocco involved were Algiers, Tunis and Tripoli. The war ended in victory for the United States, with peace treaties between the three Barbary States and Morocco.], ''American History Central''</ref>

Like John Adams, Jefferson ''also'' died on July 4, 1826, the 50th anniversary of the ratification of the Declaration of Independence. His health had been deteriorating, but he actively tried to hold out until the meaningful date.<ref name=constituioncenter/>

===James Madison (1809–1817)===
{{main|James Madison}}
The second Democratic-Republican President. Helped write the Federalist Papers<ref>[https://guides.loc.gov/federalist-papers/full-text Full Text of The Federalist Papers], ''Library of Congress''</ref> and is the primary author of both the Constitution and the [[Bill of Rights]].<ref>[https://www.loc.gov/wiseguide/may05/constitution.html Who is the father of the constitution?], ''Loc.gov''</ref> Fought the useless [[War of 1812]] with Great Britain during his term, which got Washington, D.C. and the White House burned down in retaliation for the American army burning the British North American capital at York, which became Toronto. Stood only 5'4" tall.<ref>[https://www.themodestman.com/the-shortest-u-s-presidents/ 3 SHORTEST U.S. PRESIDENTS | TRUTH ABOUT PRESIDENTIAL HEIGHT], ''The Modest Man'', June 7, 2019</ref>

===James Monroe (1817–1825)===
{{main|James Monroe}}
The third Democratic-Republican and the last "Founding Father" to occupy the position.<ref>[https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/10-surprising-birthday-facts-about-james-monroe 10 birthday facts about President James Monroe], ''Constitution Daily'', April 28, 2020</ref> As the last president to wear long hair in a ponytail, he established the [[Monroe Doctrine]] (which was actually written by Secretary of State John Quincy Adams),<ref>[https://www.americaslibrary.gov/aa/jqadams/aa_jqadams_secretary_1.html John Quincy Adams as Secretary of State], ''America's Library''</ref> proclaiming American dominance over political affairs in the western hemisphere and [[United States isolationism|isolation]] from European political affairs. Also signed the [[Fun:Missouri|Missouri]] Compromise, resolving the first major slavery incident in U.S. history.<ref>[https://www.politico.com/story/2019/03/06/monroe-missouri-compromise-1820-1202930 Monroe signs the Missouri Compromise, March 6, 1820], ''Politico'', March 6, 2019</ref> He died on July 4, 1831, which was America's 55th birthday and five years after the death of Adams and Jefferson.<ref>[https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/three-presidents-die-on-july-4th-just-a-coincidence Three Presidents Die on July 4th: Just a Coincidence?], ''Constitution Daily'', July 4, 2021</ref> The capital of [[Liberia]] is named for him.<ref>[https://history.state.gov/milestones/1830-1860/liberia Founding of Liberia, 1847], ''Office of the Historian''</ref>

===John Quincy Adams (1825–1829)===
{{main|John Quincy Adams}}
Wonkish son of John Adams, and the last of the Democratic-Republican presidents. The first president with short hair, he was elected in the contentious 1824 election, in which Andrew Jackson received the plurality of the vote out of four candidates. Swore on a book of [[law]] instead of a [[Bible]] when taking his oath of office. Paid off two-thirds of the public debt while in office, with the rest being paid off by Jackson. Rather than retire after his presidency, he served in the House for the last 17 years of his life.<ref>[https://millercenter.org/president/jqadams/life-after-the-presidency JOHN QUINCY ADAMS: LIFE AFTER THE PRESIDENCY], ''Miller Center''</ref> He was an opponent of [[slavery]], especially during his time in Congress. Supporters of slavery tried to introduce a "gag rule" to prevent anti-slavery campaigners from petitioning Congress, despite this obviously contravening the [[First Amendment]]. Still, JQA fought against this for many years. He also defended in court the African slaves on the Spanish ship ''La Amistad'' who were charged with rebellion after seizing control of the vessel to prevent themselves from being sold into slavery, leading to himself being played on film by noted cannibal Anthony Hopkins.<ref>[https://www.humanrightsfirst.org/blog/historical-abolitionist-month-john-quincy-adams Historical Abolitionist of the Month: John Quincy Adams], Human Rights First, February 20, 2015.</ref>

===[[Andrew Jackson]] (1829–1837)===
{{main|Andrew Jackson}}
The first [[Democratic Party|Democratic]] president, and a [[insanity|homicidal maniac]]. Another man insulted his wife, so he killed him in a duel, ''after'' letting the other guy shoot first.<ref>[https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/crime-history-andrew-jackson-kills-rival-over-insult-of-wife-2530744 Crime History: Andrew Jackson kills rival over insult of wife], ''Washington Examiner'', May 29, 2013</ref> Commanded U.S. forces during the War of 1812 and was famous for kicking the British out of Louisiana … two weeks after the war was already over, so it was more of a moral victory.<ref>[https://sofrep.com/specialoperations/andrew-jackson-wins-battle-new-orleans-war-1812-ended/ Andrew Jackson Wins Battle of New Orleans, After War of 1812 Ended], ''SOFREP'', January 8, 2018</ref> As president, he expanded the [[Nepotism#Spoils system|spoils system]]. Despite supporting [[states' rights]], he declared during the Nullification Crisis that states do not have the right to nullify federal laws, which put him at direct odds with Vice President [[John C. Calhoun]], who specifically wanted that entitlement for his home state of [[Fun:South Carolina|South Carolina]]. Signed the [[American Indian Holocaust#Trail of Tears|Indian Removal Act]], forcing [[Native American]]s living in the states to move further west.<ref>[https://guides.loc.gov/indian-removal-act Indian Removal Act: Primary Documents in American History], ''Library of Congress''</ref>

Pissed off the banks by issuing monetary notes (instead of letting the banks issue them), allowing the government to control interest rates.  Was the first president on whom assassination attempts were made, all most likely ordered by the banks and/or Whigs; it ended with Jackson beating the would-be assassin to near death.<ref>[https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/andrew-jackson-narrowly-escapes-assassination Andrew Jackson narrowly escapes assassination], This Day in History, History Channel</ref>

===Martin Van Buren (1837–1841)===
{{main|Martin Van Buren}}
Andrew Jackson's vice president during his second term, Van Buren was nominated to run with Jackson on his re-election campaign after Calhoun jumped ship. Presided over the [[Recession|Panic of 1837]], which he was blamed for, and which cost him re-election in 1840. Had rad muttonchops and was the first—and to date only—president to speak English as a second language (as you might be able to tell from his surname, his first language was [[Netherlands|Dutch]]). Currently, the only president not descended from English King John<ref>[http://elitedaily.com/news/world/12-year-girl-discovers-president-related/ 12 year old discovers all Presidents but Martin van Buren descended from King John]</ref> of Robin Hood fame, and the first president born after the United States declared its independence (all previous, and the one after him, were born in unambiguously colonial America). He lost the 1844 Democratic nomination for president mainly because he refused to immediately annex [[Texas]].<ref>[https://millercenter.org/president/vanburen/life-after-the-presidency MARTIN VAN BUREN: LIFE AFTER THE PRESIDENCY], ''MillerCenter''</ref> He also started the "tradition" of former presidents trying long-shot third-party runs for the presidency when he became the Free Soil Party candidate in the 1848 election. As a result of his party's anti-slavery platform, he carried 10% of the popular vote and no electoral votes.<ref>[https://ohiohistorycentral.org/w/Free_Soil_Party Free Soil Party], ''Ohio History Central''</ref> Both he and [[Theodore Roosevelt|Teddy Roosevelt]] were members of the Dutch Reformed Church.<ref>[https://teddyrooseveltlive.com/2014/04/19/theodore-roosevelt-and-religion/ Theodore Roosevelt and Religion], ''Teddy Roosevelt Live'', April 19, 2014</ref>

===William Henry Harrison (1841)===
{{main|William Henry Harrison}}
The first Whig president. He was a presidential candidate in 1836 as part of a clever strategy where the Whigs ran three different presidential candidates from different parts of the country, aiming to deny Van Buren an absolute majority; under the rules at the time, this would have given the House of Representatives the power to choose the next president. Except Van Buren still won the majority, and Harrison had to wait four more years. His 1840 campaign was groundbreaking with its [[populism|appeals to the masses]]: 60,000 attended one of his election rallies, at Tippecanoe; his campaign gave out [[whiskey]] from the EC Booz distillery in log-cabin-shaped boxes; the Whigs attacked Van Buren's VP candidate Richard Johnson for having sex with black women; and supporters rolled a 10-foot-high tin ball around the country papered with pro-Harrison slogans.<ref>[https://millercenter.org/president/harrison/campaigns-and-elections Harrison: Campaigns and Elections], Miller Center, University of Virginia</ref>

It went downhill once he was elected. His first act as President was to deliver a very long inaugural address (8,445 words) in the freezing rain storm.<ref>[https://www.inaugural.senate.gov/14th-inaugural-ceremonies/ 14TH INAUGURAL CEREMONIES], ''JCCIC''</ref> A few weeks later, on March 26, he caught a cold that developed into pneumonia or a typhoid fever. Eight days later, Harrison died on April 4, 1841, making his one month tenure the shortest in American History. However, a recent study has suggested that septic shock is responsible, caused by the proximity of a landfill for human waste.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/01/science/what-really-killed-william-henry-harrison.html What Really Killed William Henry Harrison?], ''New York Times'', March 31, 2014</ref><ref>[http://mentalfloss.com/article/69233/7-presidential-facts-about-william-henry-harrison 7 Presidential Facts About William Henry Harrison], ''MentalFloss'', October 12, 2015</ref> At the time of his death, the cause of the infection was blamed directly on his attempt to prove that he was a vigorous man by delivering an interminable speech in a rainstorm without protective clothes. However, a basic understanding of how calendars work and modern research has looked to other causes.

As he was the first to die in office, his death sparked a [[constitutional crisis]] that ended with Vice President John Tyler taking his place.<ref>[https://www.whitehousehistory.org/john-tyler-and-presidential-succession John Tyler and Presidential Succession], ''The White House Historical Association''</ref>

===John Tyler (1841–1845)===
{{main|John Tyler}}
Succeeded Harrison, becoming the first president born after the Constitution. He was formerly a Democrat but left the party because he felt Jackson was insufficiently committed to [[states' rights]].<ref name=millercentertyler>[https://millercenter.org/president/tyler/life-before-the-presidency John Tyler: Life before the Presidency], Miller Center, University of Virginia</ref> Despite having been elected to the vice presidency on the Whig ticket, he opposed most Whig policies and vetoed many bills brought to the [[White House]]. This irritated and enraged enough people that most of his cabinet resigned and the Whigs removed him from the party, making him the only president to be expelled from his own political party while in office.<ref>[https://theamericanmoms.com/first-president-kicked-political-party/ The Only President Kicked Out of His Own Political Party], ''The American Moms'', March 3, 2017</ref> He also vetoed the tariff bill, which infamously caused him to become the first president to face an unsuccessful [[impeachment]] investigation by the House of Representatives. He authorized the annexation of [[Fun:Texas|Texas]]<ref>[https://history.house.gov/HouseRecord/Detail/15032436204 Joint Resolution Annexing Texas] ''History, Art& Archives''</ref> and did not get along or cooperate with the Whigs, the Democrats, or anyone around him. Although he was the first president to see his vetoes overridden by Congress, he did have [[Stopped Clock|some foreign policy achievements]] including the Tyler Doctrine, the Webster-Ashburton Treaty, ending the Dorr Rebellion and the Second Seminole War in Florida that later became part of the Union, and a trade treaty with China. After concluding his presidency, he supported the [[secession]] of his native Virginia and was elected to the [[Confederate States of America|Confederate]] Congress. Before he could be seated, he became the only president to die as a traitor to the United States, dying of a stroke on January 18, 1862 at the age of 71.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/john-tyler-traitor-well-yes-actually-/2013/02/24/a387eece-7d29-11e2-9a75-dab0201670da_story.html John Tyler, traitor? Well, yes, actually ...], ''Washington Post'', February 24, 2013</ref>

===James K. Polk (1845–1849)===
{{main|James K. Polk}}
Another Democrat. Oversaw the most massive territorial expansion in U.S. history, which included Texas, the [[Fun:Oregon|Oregon territory]] (acquired through a treaty with Britain that divided the disputed land along the 49th parallel), and pretty much the entire southwest (ceded by [[Mexico]] following the [[Mexican-American War]]).<ref>[https://jameskpolk.com/history/james-k-polk/ History of James K. Polk], ''The President James K. Polk Home & Museum''</ref> Also reestablished an independent treasury system and lowered tariffs.<ref>[https://cdn.mises.org/asc8-trask.pdf The Independent Treasury: Origins, Rationale, and Record, 1846-186], ''H.A. Scott Trask'', March 2002</ref> Basically, he accomplished everything he said at the beginning of his term, including not running for a second term. His achievements are listed in a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9SvJMZs5Rs song] by beat combo "They Might Be Giants." The polka has nothing to do with him.

===Zachary Taylor (1849–1850)===
{{main|Zachary Taylor}}
Whig Party candidate and former general during the [[Mexican-American War]],<ref>[https://books.google.com/books?id=Nf2zoo3krDIC&pg=PA177#v=onepage&q&f=false A Life of Gen. Zachary Taylor], ''Joseph Reese Fry'', 1848 (pages 186-188)</ref> who also served in the army for nearly 40 years.<ref>[https://www.biography.com/us-president/zachary-taylor Zachary Taylor], ''Biography.com'', April 24, 2017</ref> Became ill and died 16 months into his term. Was probably the best Whig president, having lived long enough to get a few good things done but not long enough to completely screw everything up.

===Millard Fillmore (1850–1853)===
{{main|Millard Fillmore}}
Succeeded Taylor upon his death and became the last Whig president. Helped create the Compromise of 1850, which helped stave off the Civil War for a little longer, although measures such as the Fugitive Slave Act were unpopular enough with his fellow northern Whigs (he came from upstate [[Fun:New York|New York]]) that he lost the Whig nomination in 1852.<ref name=npr>[https://www.npr.org/sections/politicaljunkie/2009/07/a_president_denied_renominatio.html When Has A President Been Denied His Party's Nomination?], ''NPR'', July 22, 2009</ref> His name really is Millard Fillmore. His most significant contribution to American culture was lending his name to the two Fillmore theaters, both legendary in rock and roll history. Famous for being an obscure factoid in the days before the Internet: [[H.L. Mencken]] erroneously claimed he was the first president to install a bathtub in the White House.<ref>[https://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/18/weekinreview/18vince.html Why He Gets The Laughs], ''The New York Times'', March 18, 2007.</ref> His wife caught a cold on the day his successor Franklin Pierce was inaugurated, and she died of pneumonia 26 days later.<ref>[https://ehistory.osu.edu/biographies/abigail-fillmore Abigail Fillmore], ''eHistory''</ref> Continuing a trend established by Martin van Buren, he was another former president to run a long-shot third-party run for the presidency when he ran as a candidate for the anti-immigrant "''[[Know Nothing]]''" or "American" Party in 1856. He managed to win [[Fun:Maryland|Maryland]]'s eight electoral votes as well as [[Crazification factor|21.5% of the popular vote]].<ref>[https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/statistics/elections/1856 1856], ''The American Presidency Project''</ref> The tragically unfunny conservative comic strip ''[[Mallard Fillmore]]'' is named after him.

===Franklin Pierce (1853–1857)===
{{main|Franklin Pierce}}
Democrat and a "doughface" (a northerner with [[The South|southern]] sympathies—he came from [[Fun:New Hampshire|New Hampshire]]). Was strong-armed into signing the [[Fun:Kansas|Kansas]]-[[Fun:Nebraska|Nebraska]] Act, effectively nullifying the Missouri Compromise and Compromise of 1850, reopening western territories to slavery, and having many people killed in the disputed territories.<ref>[https://millercenter.org/president/franklin-pierce/key-events Kansas-Nebraska Act], ''MillerCenter''</ref> He is generally the fourth worst president for his failure to reconcile North and South by helping to further divide America and for his controversial attempt to annex [[Cuba]].<ref>[https://www.usnews.com/news/special-reports/the-worst-presidents/articles/2014/12/17/worst-presidents-franklin-pierce-1853-1857 Worst Presidents: Franklin Pierce (1853-1857)], ''U.S. News'', February 16, 2007</ref>

His vice president, William R. King, died six weeks after the inauguration and was never replaced.<ref>[https://www.historynet.com/william-rufus-king-the-vice-president-who-never-served.htm William Rufus King: The Vice President Who Never Served], ''HistoryNet</ref> Before becoming president, Pierce's occupations included military service in the Mexican-American war, where he spent essential military engagements variously in a tent with severe diarrhea or strapped to a horse on account of a sore leg (his, not the horse's). He lost the 1856 Democratic nomination to James Buchanan, who would turn out to be a lot worse than Pierce himself. He devoted his post-presidential life to alcohol abuse (as we might ourselves if our careers had turned out so piss-poor).<ref>[https://potus-geeks.livejournal.com/695684.html Presidents Behaving Badly: Franklin Pierce's Drinking], ''Live Journal'', March 14, 2016</ref>

===James Buchanan (1857–1861)===
{{main|James Buchanan}}
Another doughface (in his case, from [[Fun:Pennsylvania|Pennsylvania]]).<ref>[https://www.mercersburginn.com/learn-more-about-james-buchanan-15th-u-s-president/ Learn more about James Buchanan 15th U. S. President], ''Mercesburg Inn''</ref> He only won because Republicans were denied ballot access in southern states, and former President Fillmore played spoiler as the American Party candidate. Even then, the Whigs and the Republicans' fracturing as a disorganized emerging party was tantamount to election. He spent most of the previous years abroad or as a private citizen, thus he could be presented as a dark horse candidate who just wanted everybody to get along. One of his first actions as president was fighting an unpopular (and strange) war against [[Mormonism|Mormons]].<ref>[https://digging-history.com/2013/11/11/military-history-monday-the-utah-war-a-k-a-buchanans-blunder/ Military History Monday: The Utah War aka Buchanon's Blunder], ''Digging History''</ref>

At the cusp of political instability in the United States, he did everything he could to signal that he was supportive of expanding slavery, which explains the "worst President" moniker.<ref>[https://civilwaronthewesternborder.org/encyclopedia/buchanan-james Buchanan, James], ''Civil War on the Western Border''</ref> You will ''never'' top this corrupt man who caused the first, and so far only, American civil war.<ref>[https://millercenter.org/president/buchanan/impact-and-legacy JAMES BUCHANAN: IMPACT AND LEGACY], ''MillerCenter''</ref> Not even [[Andrew Johnson|Johnson]]’s poor handling of [[Reconstruction]] or [[Donald Trump|Trump]]’s [[2021 U.S. Capitol riot|failed coup attempt]] can compare, so that’s not even close. Buchanan was also completely and extremely [[Racism|racist]], believing that African Americans would take over the nation, and did absolutely everything in his power to refuse neutrality in any way. And of course, he also happened to be authoritarian as hell. He screwed up with the territories of Kansas and [[Fun:Utah|Utah]], meddled too far in blackmailing the Supreme Court into passing a [[Dred Scott v. Sandford|horrible Supreme Court case]],<ref>[https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/president-james-buchanan-directly-influenced-outcome-dred-scott-decision-180962329/ President James Buchanan Directly Influenced the Outcome of the Dred Scott Decision], ''Sithsonian Magazine'', March 6, 2017</ref> was the most partisan person imaginable (still managing to divide ''his own party''), and immaturely blamed Northern states for every single issue and leaving them out to dry after the economy took a hit. Like John Tyler, Buchanan was threatened with an investigation that did not result in his impeachment, but did label his administration as the most corrupt in history. After refusing to lift a finger to keep the Union together, he declined to run again, giving rise to two separate Democratic tickets. The secessions happened in the awfully long period between Lincoln's election (November 1860) and inauguration (March 1861, given that Inauguration Day was changed to January under FDR, several decades later). He remains the only lifelong bachelor to become president,<ref>[https://www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-white-house/presidents/james-buchanan/ James Buchanan THE 15TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES], ''The White House''</ref> causing suspicion that he was gay;<ref>[https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/175-year-history-examining-bachelor-president-james-buchanans-close-friendship-william-rufus-king-180972992/ The 175-Year History of Speculating About President James Buchanan’s Bachelorhood], ''Smithsonian Magazine'', August 27, 2019</ref> his niece Harriet Lane was his de facto First Lady.<ref>[https://www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-white-house/first-families/harriet-lane/ Harriet Lane], ''The White House''</ref> Although this has been heightened by contemporaneous hearsay attesting to his domestic partnership with Pierce's vice president, William Rufus King (who died from tuberculosis shortly after taking office in 1853), historians remain divided.

We completely stand by the moniker above that he is the worst U.S. president who ran one of the most corrupt administrations. At a time when the country needed unity (even a pinch would have been courteous), he was a total a bigot and north-detesting doughface, did zilch as Congress fought (quite literally too), and completely disrespected the Supreme Court, free territories and the opposition as he pleased, which all culminated in a bloody civil war to kill hundreds of thousands of Americans, then to cause almost every single political problem the U.S. struggles with now. There is not a single true [[stopped clock]] with this man, and [[fractal wrongness]] defines every trait and corruption of his depraved shell of a character.

===Abraham Lincoln (1861–1865)===
{{main|Abraham Lincoln}}
The first [[Republican Party|Republican]] president. Upon his election, numerous southern states seceded to form the Confederate States of America. He led the country through the [[American Civil War|Civil War]] to victory for the Union and the nation's reunification,<ref>[https://www.loc.gov/collections/civil-war-glass-negatives/articles-and-essays/time-line-of-the-civil-war/1861/ Time Line of Civil War], ''Library of Congress</ref> though he did so by stepping on some civil liberties and his [[Andrew Johnson|incompetent successor]] bungled Reconstruction so bad that we're [[Tea Party movement|still feeling the effects]] today. Nevertheless, Lincoln set the stage for the abolition of slavery, which was confirmed by Congress after his own assassination.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2019/01/01/lincoln-declared-an-end-slavery-new-years-day-it-went-two-more-years/ Lincoln moved to end slavery in 1863 with the passage of the Emancipation Proclamation. It went on for three more years.], ''Washington Post'', January 1, 2019</ref> Signing the Emancipation Proclamation that declared freedom to the slaves in the South and prevent France and Britain from going to the Civil War, he  is considered by many to be one of the greatest presidents in US history, as he pretty much made abolition possible and successfully stopped what was the greatest threat to the country's identity and existence.<ref>[https://www.businessinsider.com/the-top-20-presidents-in-us-history-according-to-historians-2017-2 These are the top 25 US presidents, according to historians and biographers (and why you won't find Trump on the list)], ''Business Insider'', July 2, 2020</ref>

Although he successfully managed to reunite the Union, sadly, Lincoln did not live to see the reunited country’s wounds healed or restored from the war. On April 14, 1865, just 5 days after the surrender of Robert E. Lee, President Lincoln, along with his wife and two substitute guests, was watching a production of ''Our American Cousin'' at Ford’s Theater when he was tragically assassinated by John Wilkes Booth, who was himself murdered two weeks later by a rebellious and religious sergeant named Boston Corbett.<ref>[https://www.loc.gov/collections/abraham-lincoln-papers/articles-and-essays/assassination-of-president-abraham-lincoln/timeline/ Assassination of President Abraham Lincoln], ''Library of Congress''</ref> May or may not have hunted [[vampire]]s during his presidency, and is possibly related to Tom Hanks.<ref>[https://www.hindustantimes.com/hollywood/tom-hanks-related-to-president-abraham-lincoln/story-Q1sYlpWJCoSrlwErT9M0TI.html Tom Hanks related to President Abraham Lincoln!], ''Hindustan Times'', September 25, 2012</ref>

==Presidents from the Civil War to World War II (1865–1945)==
===Andrew Johnson (1865–1869)===
{{main|Andrew Johnson}}
Lincoln's VP for his second (but not first) term, with previous veep Hannibal Hamlin choosing not to run with him in 1864.<ref group=note>Given that Hamlin was a committed abolitionist, we're left retroactively to lament what could have been.</ref> He was a slaveholder who was keener on upholding the political union and, in 1864, was a member of the National Union Party (the name used by the Republican Party for that election). Still, he was politically closer to the Democrats and formally joined them later in life. At about 10:15 pm on April 14, 1865, the same night when John Wilkes Booth shot Lincoln at Ford’s Theater, Johnson was targeted by one of Booth’s henchmen, George Atzerodt, a German immigrant who decided to get drunk and abandon his task in killing the Vice President while the other henchman, Lewis Powell, only managed to seriously disfigure Secretary of State William Seward at his mansion. Spared from Atzerodt’s failed assassination attempt, Johnson became president after Lincoln passed away at the Petersen House. Three months after the deaths of Lincoln and Booth, Johnson permitted the executions of Atzerodt, Powell, David Herold, and boardinghouse keeper, Mary Surratt, on July 7, 1865. 

Being a Southerner himself, Johnson didn't want to punish his home region too harshly. This put him at odds with the [[Republican Party|Republican]]-dominated Congress (and especially with his cabinet members and the [[Radical Republicans]]),<ref>[https://courses.lumenlearning.com/boundless-ushistory/chapter/the-battle-over-reconstruction/#:~:text=Unlike%20Radical%20Republicans%2C%20Johnson%20did,concerned%20with%20punishing%20the%20South. The Battle Over Reconstruction], ''Boundless US history''</ref> who wanted to give the former slaves more rights and punish the South for trying to leave the Union. Johnson vetoed most of Congress's bills, and most of the time Congress overrode his vetoes. Finally, they had enough of the authoritarianism of Johnson, who became the first president to be impeached for firing Secretary of War Edwin Stanton. (To prevent this, Congress had passed {{wpl|Tenure of Office Act (1867)|a law}} forbidding removal of Cabinet members without Senate approval, which was blatantly unconstitutional, never again enforced, and subsequently repealed in 1887.) He was acquitted by one vote, but spent the remainder of his term virtually powerless.<ref>[https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/the-man-whose-impeachment-vote-saved-andrew-johnson The man whose impeachment vote saved Andrew Johnson], ''Constitution Daily'', May 16, 2021</ref>
He is the third worst president in U.S. History, for being abysmally authoritarian and massively racist, mishandling Reconstruction, disregarding Lincoln’s achievements, refusing to compromise with the Radical Republicans, and arguably delaying Civil Rights.

During his tenure in office, Secretary Seward purchased [[Fun:Alaska|Alaska]] from the [[Russia]]ns,<ref>[https://www.loc.gov/rr/program/bib//ourdocs/alaska.html Treaty with Russia for the Purchase of Alaska], ''Library of Congress''</ref> though it didn't become a state until [[Dwight Eisenhower|Eisenhower]].<ref name=constitutiondaily>[https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/the-last-time-congress-created-a-new-state-hawaii The last time Congress created a new state], ''Constitution Daily'', March 12, 2021</ref>

===Ulysses S. Grant (1869–1877)===
{{main|Ulysses S. Grant}}
Republican and former Civil War general. He kept [[Reconstruction]] humming along, namely by crushing the [[Ku Klux Klan|KKK]],<ref>[https://www.nps.gov/articles/000/president-grant-takes-on-the-ku-klux-klan.htm President Grant Takes on the Ku Klux Klan], ''National Park Service''</ref> battling a giant mechanical spider, and while he was in office, the [[United States Constitution#15th Amendment|Fifteenth Amendment]] passed.<ref>[https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/grant-fifteenth/ Passage of the Fifteenth Amendment], ''PBS''</ref> His two terms were plagued with corruption,<ref>[https://www.crf-usa.org/bill-of-rights-in-action/bria-9-2-c-a-hero-betrayed-the-presidency-of-ulysses-s-grant.html Hero Betrayed: The Presidency of Ulysses S. Grant], ''Constitutional Rights Foundation'', June 2001</ref> as well as the Panic of 1873. He sought to win his party's nomination for a third term in 1880, but failed.<ref>[http://projects.leadr.msu.edu/makingmodernus/exhibits/show/1880-rnc The 1880 Republican National Convention: Grant's Final Defeat], ''The Making of Modern U.S.''</ref> His reputation has suffered a lot from pro-Southern historians who exaggerated his faults (he admitted he was a bad judge of character, but not a crook) and downplayed his accomplishments.

===Rutherford B. Hayes (1877–1881)===
{{main|Rutherford B. Hayes}}
Another Republican, another Civil War general. He won the contentious 1876 election{{efn|To show how contentious it was, it came down to 20 contested electoral votes, and he made a comprimise to therefore win by one vote.<ref>[https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-ugliest-most-contentious-presidential-election-ever-28429530/ The Ugliest, Most Contentious Presidential Election Ever], ''Smithsonian Magazine'', September 7, 2012</ref>}} despite coming second in the popular vote, the third time a person who did not win the most popular votes became president and the only time this happened when another person gained more than 50% of the vote.<ref>[https://books.google.com/books?id=1Q0BBAAAQBAJ&pg=PA81#v=onepage&q&f=false Domestic Programs of United States Presidents], ''Richard Faber and Elizabeth Bedford'' (pages 81-83)</ref> Formally ended Reconstruction, withdrawing federal troops from the South and effectively handing the region back over to the [[Democratic Party|Democrats]], ushering in the [[Jim Crow laws|Jim Crow era]] as part of a deal (appropriately titled "the corrupt bargain") that gave him the disputed electoral votes he needed to win the Presidency.<ref>[https://www.rbhayes.org/hayes/betrayal-of-the-freedman-rutherford-b.-hayes-and-the-end-of-reconstruction/ "BETRAYAL OF THE FREEDMAN: RUTHERFORD B. HAYES AND THE END OF RECONSTRUCTION"], ''RUTHERFORD B. HAYES PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY & MUSEUMS''</ref> He is much more popular in [[Paraguay]] due to him presiding over a treaty that prevented Paraguay from being entirely gobbled up by [[Brazil]] and [[Argentina]] after the disastrous {{wpl|Paraguayan War||.}}<ref>[https://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2014/10/30/360126710/the-place-where-rutherford-b-hayes-is-a-really-big-deal The Place Where Rutherford B. Hayes Is A Really Big Deal], ''NPR'', October 30, 2014</ref>

===James A. Garfield (1881)===
{{main|James A. Garfield}}
A Republican famous for two reasons: he was assassinated and shared his name with a cartoon [[cat]]. He was shot shortly into his term by a mentally ill man upset over Garfield's refusal to appoint him to a government position.{{efn|Although it's been well documented that it was the doctors, not the bullet wound, that killed Garfield.<ref>[https://nypost.com/2016/09/22/the-inept-doctor-who-killed-president-garfield/ The inept doctor who killed President Garfield], ''New York Post'', September 26, 2016</ref>}} Died after only 200 days in office.<ref>[https://www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-white-house/presidents/james-garfield/ James Garfield THE 20TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATE], ''The White House''</ref> Incidentally, he's also the only sitting House member elected president, and also the only president to have come up with a [[mathematics|mathematical]] proof, inventing an additional proof of the Pythagorean Theorem.<ref>[https://www.maa.org/press/periodicals/convergence/mathematical-treasure-james-a-garfields-proof-of-the-pythagorean-theorem Mathematical Treasure: James A. Garfield's Proof of the Pythagorean Theorem], Sid J. Kolpas, ''MAA''</ref>

===Chester A. Arthur (1881–1885)===
{{main|Chester A. Arthur}}
The successor to Garfield. Passed the Pendleton Civil Service Reform Act, which stipulated that government jobs should be granted based on merit.<ref>[https://www.politico.com/story/2018/01/16/pendleton-act-inaugurates-us-civil-service-system-jan-16-1883-340488 Pendleton Act inaugurates U.S. civil service system, Jan. 16, 1883], ''Politico'', January 16, 2018</ref> Opponents spuriously claimed he [[birther|hadn't been born]] in the United States—first alleging he was born in [[Ireland]], then later in Canada—and that as such he was ineligible to be president.<ref>[https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/five-other-presidential-birther-controversies-from-american-history/ Five other presidential “birther” controversies from American history], ''Constitution Daily'', January 14, 2016</ref> ([[Barack Obama|Sound familiar?]]) He also signed the {{wpl|Chinese Exclusion Act||,}} the [[Donald Trump|first of two]] federal mandates [[Yellow Peril|denying a specific population]] from immigrating into the United States.<ref>[http://projects.leadr.msu.edu/makingmodernus/exhibits/show/chineseexclusionact1882/roleofpoliticiansinchineseban The Chinese Exclusion Act 1882 and Immigrants in America: Role of Politicians], ''The Making of the Modern U.S''</ref> He has the honor of being the guy whose name is least likely to be recognized as belonging to a POTUS (unless you have watched Die Hard 3<ref>https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/844518a4-9ef0-4c3c-9217-afbd3babb08f</ref>).

===Grover Cleveland (1885–1889, 1893–1897)===
{{main|Grover Cleveland}}
The first Democrat elected since the Civil War and the only U.S. president to serve two non-consecutive terms until Donald Trump was reelected in 2024.<ref>[https://www.nps.gov/nr/travel/presidents/grover_cleveland_birthplace.html Grover Cleveland Birthplace], ''National Park Service''</ref> Opposed the growth of [[Trade union|labor unions]],<ref>[http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2091600_2091603_2091627,00.html President Cleveland Didn't Like Unions], ''Time'', September 5, 2011</ref> and kept the country on the [[Gold standard (economics)|gold standard]] at a time when it was unpopular.<ref>[https://learningenglish.voanews.com/a/cleveland-backs-gold-standard-to-cure-economic-downturn-96502379/115864.html American History: Cleveland Backs Gold Standard to Cure Economic Downturn], ''Learning English'', June 16, 2010</ref> He is reasonably popular with modern [[Libertarianism|libertarians]] (including his handling of [[Gilded Age#Libertarian crankery|Long Depressions]]). It's important to realize that, in 1884, [[New York]] was decided by just over a thousand votes and, had Cleveland lost New York, he would have lost the election to James Blaine,<ref>[https://www.270towin.com/1884_Election/ 1884 Presidential Election], ''270toWin''</ref> who also beat the incumbent Arthur in the primary.<ref name=npr/>

===Benjamin Harrison (1889–1893)===
Republican and grandson of the ninth president. Beat out incumbent Cleveland in the Electoral College, despite losing the popular vote, though lost to him four years later.<ref>[https://www.nps.gov/nr/travel/presidents/benjamin_harrison_home.html Benjamin Harrison Home], ''National Park Service''</ref> Passed the protectionist McKinley Tariff and the Sherman Antitrust Act. His term also saw the national debt surpass the billion-dollar mark for the first time in U.S. history.<ref>[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/UsefulNotes/BenjaminHarrison Useful Notes / Benjamin Harrison], ''TV Tropes''</ref>

===William McKinley (1897–1901)===
Another Republican. Led the country to victory in the [[Spanish-American War]] and acquired the United States' first [[Colonialism|overseas possessions]] from [[Spain]].<ref>[https://history.state.gov/milestones/1866-1898/spanish-american-war The Spanish-American War, 1898], ''Office of the Historian''</ref> Additionally passed the annexation of [[Fun:Hawaii|Hawaii]].<ref>[https://history.house.gov/Records-and-Research/Listing/pm_007/ Memorial of Queen Liliuokalani], ''History Art & Archives''</ref> Was assassinated by [[Anarchism|anarchist]] Leon Czolgosz, who actually confessed.<ref>[https://www.shapell.org/manuscript/mckinley-assassin-confession/ Leon Czolgosz's Incredibly Rare Confession to the Assassination of President William McKinley], ''Shapell''</ref>

===Theodore Roosevelt (1901–1909)===
{{main|Theodore Roosevelt}}
McKinley's second VP (the first, Garret Hobart, died in 1899).<ref>[https://millercenter.org/president/mckinley/essays/hobart-1897-vicepresident GARRET A. HOBART (1897–1899)], ''Miller Center''</ref> Youngest president ever (his 43rd birthday was weeks after his first inauguration).<ref>[https://www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-white-house/presidents/theodore-roosevelt/ Theodore Roosevelt THE 26TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES], ''The White House''</ref> Republican, Spanish-American War hero. Commissioned the [[Panama]] Canal<ref>[https://www.crf-usa.org/bill-of-rights-in-action/bria-21-2-b-this-great-enterprise-theodore-roosevelt-and-the-panama-canal.html This Great Enterprise: Theodore Roosevelt and the Panama Canal], ''Constitutional Research Foundation''</ref> and set up the National Park System.<ref>[https://www.doi.gov/blog/conservation-legacy-theodore-roosevelt The Conservation Legacy of Theodore Roosevelt], ''U.S. Department of the Interior''</ref> Became the first U.S. president to win the [[Nobel Prize|Nobel Peace Prize]] for brokering peace between [[Japan]] and Russia.<ref>[https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/1906/roosevelt/facts/ Theodore Roosevelt Facts], ''The Nobel Prize''</ref> Has a soft toy named after him.<ref>[https://www.nps.gov/thrb/learn/historyculture/storyofteddybear.htm The Story of the Teddy Bear], ''National Park Service''</ref>

Declined to run for re-election in 1908, but he grew to dislike the direction Taft (his protégé) was taking the Republican Party. Roosevelt ran as a third-party candidate in 1912, splitting the Republican vote (and coming in second place), handing the election over to a [[Democratic Party|Democrat]].<ref>[https://nationalcowboymuseum.org/explore/savior-spoiler-teddy-roosevelt-third-party-candidate-1912/ Savior or Spoiler: Teddy Roosevelt as a Third Party Candidate in 1912], ''National Cowboy Museum''</ref> During the campaign, he was shot and nearly killed in one of his speeches in Milwaukee; in fact, his life was spared solely by his 50 page speech, and he continued to give his speech regardless.<ref>[https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-speech-that-saved-teddy-roosevelts-life-83479091/ The Speech That Saved Teddy Roosevelt’s Life], ''Smithsonian Magazine'', November 2012</ref> He is the last ex-president to attempt a third-party run, though several former ''vice'' presidents tried the same later.

===William Howard Taft (1909–1913)===
{{main|William Howard Taft}}
The fattest president in U.S. history<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2018/12/01/nations-fattest-president-loved-steaks-breakfast-then-he-went-diet/ The nation’s fattest president loved steaks for breakfast. Then he went on a diet.], ''Washington Post'', December 29, 2018</ref> (though given [[Chris Christie|trends in obesity]], that may not remain true for much longer) and also a staunch [[eugenics|eugenicist]].<ref>[https://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/20/books/review/imbeciles-and-illiberal-reformers.html ‘Imbeciles’ and ‘Illiberal Reformers’], David Oshinsky, ''The New York Times'' 14 March 2008</ref> His policies alienated him from much of his own party, costing him re-election. He was also the last president with any facial hair<ref>[https://beardoholic.com/presidents-with-beards/ Presidents With Beards – Which of Them Had the Best Beard], ''Beardoholic'', December 20, 2021</ref> and the only president to place lower than second in a re-election bid. Teddy Roosevelt tried to eke him out for his party's nomination. Still, the bosses wouldn't have any of it, so Roosevelt ran on a third-party ticket, throwing the election to avowed segregationist Wilson.

Later served as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, making him the only person to hold both positions in U.S. history.<ref>[https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/william-howard-tafts-truly-historic-double-double William Howard Taft’s truly historic ‘double-double’], ''Constitution Daily''</ref><ref group=note>He apparently wanted to be chief justice more than he wanted to be president; his wife and Teddy Roosevelt (who used to be his political ally) won over him in 1908.</ref>

===Woodrow Wilson (1913–1921)===
{{main|Woodrow Wilson}}
A Democrat with bad teeth and the only president to earn a Ph.D.<ref>[https://www.uopeople.edu/blog/which-us-president-had-a-phd/ Who Is The Only U.S. President To Have A PhD Degree?], ''University of the People''</ref> He led the US  through [[World War I]], and helped found the [[League of Nations]] at its end,<ref>[https://www.woodrowwilsonhouse.org/league-of-nations/ League of Nations], ''President Wilson House'', November 12, 2020</ref> although Congress blocked the US from joining 3 times.<ref>[https://www.politico.com/story/2014/11/senate-rejects-league-of-nations-nov-19-1919-113006 Senate rejects League of Nations, Nov. 19, 1919], ''Politico'', November 19, 2014</ref> He additionally led the US into occupations of [[Haiti]] and the {{wpl|Dominican Republic}},<ref>[https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/haiti-us-occupation-hundred-year-anniversary The Long Legacy of Occupation in Haiti], ''The New Yorker'', July 28, 2015</ref> as well as intervening in Mexico.<ref>[https://veteranmuseum.net/research-united-states-interventions-in-mexico/ United States Interventions in Mexico], ''The Veteran Museum''</ref> Wilson instituted the country's first [[income tax]]{{efn|The [[United States Constitution#16th Amendment|Sixteenth Amendment]], allowing for such, was ratified while Taft was a lame duck, and Wilson signed the Revenue Act to authorize an income tax shortly after he took office in 1913.<ref>[http://www.taxhistory.org/thp/readings.nsf/ArtWeb/C82515A4B6B7A24C85257D1B0041C86E?OpenDocument Tax History: Original Intent and the Revenue Act of 1913], ''TaxAnalysts''</ref>}}and established the [[Federal Reserve]].<ref>[https://www.federalreservehistory.org/essays/federal-reserve-act-signed Federal Reserve Act Signed into Law], ''Federal Reserve History''</ref> His term also saw the passages of the [[United States Constitution#17th Amendment|Seventeenth Amendment]], which let the eligible voters of each state vote directly for their senators instead of their state legislators doing it,<ref>[https://www.senate.gov/artandhistory/history/common/generic/SeventeenthAmendment.htm Landmark Legislation: The Seventeenth Amendment to the Constitutio], ''United States Senate</ref> and the [[United States Constitution#18th Amendment|Eighteenth Amendment]], which [[Prohibition|prohibited the production and consumption of alcohol]], which [[Stopped clock|he vetoed]] only for the Republican Congress to override it.<ref>[https://www.woodrowwilson.org/blog/2018/11/21/prohibition-the-volstead-act Prohibition: The Volstead Act], ''The Woodrow Wilson Presidential Library and Museum'', November 21, 2018</ref>

Wilson's record on Civil Rights was abysmal. He came down hard on critics of the war and his government and had many protesters arrested, including Eugene Debs, who was a Socialist who Wilson beat in the 1912 election.<ref>[https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/fiery-socialist-challenged-nations-role-wwi-180969386/ When America’s Most Prominent Socialist Was Jailed for Speaking Out Against World War I], ''Smithsonian Magazine'', June 15, 2018</ref> He segregated the military, and several of his cabinet appointments did likewise for their offices.<ref>[https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/11/wilson-legacy-racism/417549/ The Racist Legacy of Woodrow Wilson], ''The Atlantic'', November 27, 2015</ref> An apologist for the Klan, he had D.W. Griffith's TECHNICALLY excellent but morally reprehensible ''[[The Birth of a Nation]]'' screened in the White House, the first film ever to be shown there.<ref>[https://www.newyorker.com/culture/richard-brody/the-black-activist-who-fought-against-d-w-griffiths-the-birth-of-a-nation “The Black Activist Who Fought Against D. W. Griffith’s ''The Birth of a Nation''”], Richard Brody, ''The New Yorker'', February 6, 2017.</ref> 

While only lukewarmly supporting the suffrage movement, he suffered a massive stroke, and his wife more or less took over the presidency;<ref>[https://www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-white-house/first-families/edith-bolling-galt-wilson/ Edith Bolling Galt ], ''The White House''</ref> within a year [[United States Constitution#19th Amendment|women were allowed to vote]].<ref>[https://www.ourdocuments.gov/doc.php?flash=false&doc=63 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution: Women's Right to Vote (1920)], ''OurDocuments''</ref> First president since Johnson to skip his successor’s inauguration. He is the sixth worst president in US history, for being abysmally authoritarian and massively racist, pioneering modern-day American interventionism into other countries, ushering in the first Red Scare which directly targeted the lives of workers fighting for more rights and effectively numbed many minds in the US to horseshit policy, allowing [[Richard Nixon|four]] [[Ronald Reagan|more]] [[George W. Bush|terrible]] [[Donald Trump|presidents]] after him a much higher chance of getting into office.

===Warren G. Harding (1921–1923)===
{{main|Warren G. Harding}}
Harding had the largest popular vote margin in office in 1920 in a century, mainly by promising a "Return to Normalcy".<ref>[https://www.loc.gov/collections/world-war-i-and-1920-election-recordings/articles-and-essays/from-war-to-normalcy/presidential-election-of-1920/ Presidential Election of 1920], ''Library of Congress''</ref> A Republican gambling addict who died in office.<ref>[http://blog.americanheritage1.com/blog/harding-gambling-white-house-china-truth-or-myth DID HARDING GAMBLE WHITE HOUSE CHINA: TRUTH OR MYTH], ''Raleigh Degeer Amyx''</ref> He wore a bowtie well, but his administration was one of the most corrupt yet.<ref>[https://www.cheatsheet.com/culture/presidents-with-corrupt-cabinets-and-how-donald-trump-compares.html/ These Are the Presidents Who Had the Most Corrupt Cabinets (and How Donald Trump Compares)], ''CheatSheet'', January 14, 2019</ref> He was the first president elected as an incumbent Senator,<ref>[https://www.senate.gov/artandhistory/history/common/briefing/senators_became_president.htm Senators Who Became President], ''United States Senate''</ref> in which he represented his native [[Fun:Ohio|Ohio]] for a full six-year term. Died in office, sparking numerous [[Conspiracy theory|conspiracy theories]].<ref>[https://www.mercurynews.com/2018/09/04/bay-area-history-on-95th-anniversary-of-president-warren-g-hardings-death-san-francisco-man-renews-story-of-poisoning/ Palace intrigue: on 95th anniversary of President Warren G. Harding’s death, San Francisco man renews poison theory], ''Mercury News'', September 4, 2018</ref> That's about it.

===Calvin Coolidge (1923–1929)===
{{main|Calvin Coolidge}}
Harding's vice president, foisted on him by a GOP convention that admired his prowess as a union-busting governor of [[Fun:Massachusetts|Massachusetts]]. He was known as a man of few words while vice president and with a job of few responsibilities. [[Inverse stopped clock|Controversially]], he signed the Immigration Act of 1924 and vetoed bills to help deal with farming subsidies, in which some historians blamed his economic policies for leading to the Great Depression. He also did little to help resolve the Mississippi Flood crisis. 
Nevertheless, Coolidge managed to help clean up the corruption in Harding’s administration. Coolidge was actually a reasonable public speaker and a pioneer of radio broadcast and regular press conferences, but he didn't speak unless he had to.<ref>[https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/when-the-president-was-the-quietest-man-in-the-room When the President Was the Quietest Man in the Room], ''Atlas Obscura'', February 4, 2016</ref> He was also an early advocate for civil rights reform,<ref>[https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Calvin_Coolidge%27s_First_State_of_the_Union_Address Calvin Coolidge's First State of the Union Address], ''Calvin Coolidge First State of the Union Address'', December 6, 1923 (from Wikisource)</ref> and a staunch supporter of women’s rights.

An anti-interventionist, he helped avoid unnecessary wars in Latin American nations, extended the olive branch to embittered Latin American leaders over the American interventionist policy, improved relations with Mexico by recognizing its new government, resolved the German repetition, ended a crisis in European diplomacy with the Dawes Plan, signed a bill that granted citizenship to Native Americans, shrank the national debt, and signed the Kellogg-Briand Pact to promote peaceful settlements to other nations like France and Germany, which still served as a legal basis to prosecute Nazi leaders during the Nuremberg Trials. In addition to pardoning the remaining violators under the 1918 Sedition Act, he was the first president to formally recognize Leif Erikson, and not [[Christopher Columbus]], as the first European to set foot in America.<ref>[https://www.history.com/topics/exploration/leif-eriksson Leif Erikson], ''History Channel'', April 22, 2010</ref>

The country saw an economic boom under his presidency, and when he decided not to run again in 1928,<ref>[https://www.taraross.com/post/tdih-coolidge-reelection This Day in History: “I do not choose to run for president”], ''Tara Ross'', August 2, 2019</ref> a stock market crash and [[Great Depression|Depression]] happened right after he moonwalked out the door. Throughout the twenties, the South experienced a silent crisis, which was only compounded by the stock market crash.<ref>[https://www.knowitall.org/lessons/1920s-not-roaring-south-carolina The 1920s - Not Roaring in South Carolina], ''KnowItAll.org''</ref> No president until FDR did anything to alleviate that, either. The {{wpl|Coolidge effect}} is named for him.

===Herbert Hoover (1929–1933)===
{{main|Herbert Hoover}}
Well meaning (although definitely not up to the job) Republican and "[[Rugged individualism|rugged individualist]]"<ref>[https://www.digitalhistory.uh.edu/disp_textbook.cfm?smtID=3&psid=1334 Herbert Hoover, "Rugged Individualism" Campaign Speech], ''Digital History''</ref> who served as Secretary of Commerce under Coolidge. One of the worst presidents in history, Hoover utterly failed to alleviate the Great Depression by signing the Hawley-Smoot Tariff to raise tariffs on imported goods, which backfired spectacularly. Credit to Hoover, though, for being the first Republican to ever win [[Texas]] in 1928.<ref>[https://www.270towin.com/states/Texas Texas Presidential Election Voting History], ''270toWin''</ref>

Had one of the longest—and most successful—post-presidencies of them all.<ref>[https://thelistwire.usatoday.com/lists/u-s-presidents-who-lived-longest-after-leaving-office/ U.S. Presidents who lived longest after leaving office], ''ListWire'', December 26, 2021</ref> He ran for the 1940 Republican primary, but lost.<ref>[https://www.ushistory.org/gop/convention_1940.htm GOP Convention of 1940 in Philadelphia], ''USHistory.org''</ref> He was still alive by the time JFK was assassinated. Apparently, some drills were held for his funeral (which occurred in 1964), which conspiracy theorists point to as "evidence" for … something.

===Franklin D. Roosevelt (1933–1945)===
{{main|Franklin D. Roosevelt}}
Semi-[[dictator]]ial Democrat and the longest-serving U.S. president ever: over 12 years through three terms and partway into a fourth. He suffered from polio at age 39 and lost most of the use of his legs, a well-kept secret back then.<ref>[https://www.fdrlibrary.org/polio FDR and Polio], ''Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library and Museum''</ref> Launched the [[New Deal]] to combat the Depression,<ref>[https://www.thebalance.com/fdr-and-the-new-deal-programs-timeline-did-it-work-3305598 New Deal Summary, Programs, Policies, and Its Success], ''The Balence'', December 30, 2021</ref> which (among many other Godless things) introduced [[Social Security]],<ref>[https://www.ssa.gov/history/50ed.html Social Security History], ''Social Security''</ref> mandated bank holidays,<ref>[https://www.newyorkfed.org/research/epr/09v15n1/0907silb.html Why Did FDR’s Bank Holiday Succeed?], ''Federal Reserve Bank of New York''</ref> and a variety of new government agencies. Led the country into [[World War II]] following the attack on Pearl Harbor (''[[Pearl Harbor conspiracy theory|Just as planned]]''). Died in office from a stroke on April 12, 1945.<ref>[https://www.upi.com/Archives/1945/04/12/Roosevelt-dies-of-stroke-at-Little-White-House/6802441123641/ Roosevelt dies of stroke at Little White House], ''UPI Archives'', April 12, 1945</ref> He has returned to being an icon for the modern Democratic Party, especially the more left-leaning members disillusioned with the 90s pivot toward the center.

[[Inverse stopped clock|Controversially]], he ordered [[Japanese American internment|Japanese-Americans on the west coast to be put in internment camps]].<ref>[https://www.fdrlibrary.org/curriculum-guide-internment Curriculum Guide - Japanese American Internment], ''Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library and Museum''</ref>

==Presidents from World War II onward (1945–present)==
===Harry S. Truman (1945–1953)===
{{main|Harry S. Truman}}
Father of the [[Security theater|surveillance state]]/[[Military-industrial complex|national security state]]. Harry Truman failed to lead our transition to a peacetime economy and instead declared a [[Cold War|perpetual war on the Soviets.]]<ref>[https://courses.lumenlearning.com/boundless-ushistory/chapter/conclusion-truman-and-the-beginning-of-the-cold-war/ Conclusion: Truman and the Beginning of the Cold War], ''Lumen''</ref> Introduced a mandatory "loyalty oath" for all federal employees.<ref>[https://www.trumanlibrary.gov/education/presidential-inquiries/trumans-loyalty-program Truman’s Loyalty Program], ''Harry S. Truman Library and Museum''</ref>

Most remembered for his [[Dewey Defeats Truman|epic re-election comeback]],<ref>[https://www.usnews.com/opinion/articles/2008/10/30/past--present-harry-trumans-1948-comeback-campaign Past & Present: Harry Truman's 1948 Comeback Campaign], ''U.S News'', October 30, 2008</ref> launching one of the opening salvos of the [[civil rights]] movement by desegregating {{wpl|Executive_Order_9981|the military}}<ref>[https://www.ourdocuments.gov/doc.php?flash=false&doc=84 Executive Order 9981: Desegregation of the Armed Forces (1948)], ''OurDocuments.com''</ref> and [https://www.docsteach.org/documents/document/executive-order-9980-dated-july-26-1948-in-which-president-truman-sets-regulations-governing-fair-employment-practices-within-the-federal-establishment Federal civil service], and stumbling into the [[Korean War]].<ref group=note>Good thing he had just desegregated the military…</ref> Also plays a role in [[UFO]] lore—supposedly met with ETs, set up UFO investigation bureau, and even featured in a cameo role in that fake [[extraterrestrial|alien]] autopsy film. Oh, and the "S." doesn't actually stand for anything.{{efn|It was a compromise middle name meant to commemorate both his grandfathers, who were named Shippe and Solomon, equally.<ref>[https://www.unmc.edu/news.cfm?match=7726 What did President Truman's middle initial stand for?], ''University of Nebraska Medical Center'', February 25, 2011</ref>}}

===Dwight D. Eisenhower (1953–1961)===
{{main|Dwight D. Eisenhower}}
The first … er … last? Eisenhower Republican, i.e. a [[Centrism|centrist]] president.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2019/05/07/why-democrats-all-americans-should-embrace-centrism/ Why Democrats — and all Americans — should embrace centrism], ''Washington Post'', May 7, 2019</ref> He commanded Allied forces in Europe during WWII.<ref>[https://www.nps.gov/articles/general-eisenhower.htm General Dwight D. Eisenhower], ''National Park Service''</ref> As president, he oversaw the expansion of Social Security, the creation of [[NASA]],<ref name=smithsonian>[https://airandspace.si.edu/exhibitions/apollo-to-the-moon/online/racing-to-space/nasa-begins.cfm NASA BEGINS], ''Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum''</ref>  the admission of [[Alaska]] and [[Hawaii]] as states,<ref name=constitutiondaily/> and the de[[segregation]] of public schools. The [[CIA]] overthrew democratically-elected leaders in [[Iran]] and {{wpl|Guatemala}} under Ike.<ref>[https://www.nytimes.com/2003/11/30/weekinreview/ideas-trends-iran-guatemala-1953-54-revisiting-cold-war-coups-finding-them.html Ideas & Trends: Iran and Guatemala, 1953-54; Revisiting Cold War Coups and Finding Them Costly], ''New York Times'', November 30, 2003</ref>

===John F. Kennedy (1961–1963)===
{{main|John F. Kennedy}}
A machine politician from Democratic Massachusetts, which he represented in both houses of Congress, though not very liberal by today's standards. The first [[Catholicism|Catholic]] president and the only one until Biden.<ref>[https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/01/20/biden-only-second-catholic-president-but-nearly-all-have-been-christians-2/ Biden is only the second Catholic president, but nearly all have been Christians], ''Pew Research Center'', January 20, 2021</ref> Horrendous foreign-policy blunders included the [[Gunboat diplomacy|Bay of Pigs invasion]] (which went poorly, to say the least)<ref>[https://history.state.gov/milestones/1961-1968/bay-of-pigs The Bay of Pigs Invasion and its Aftermath, April 1961–October 1962], ''Office of the Historian''</ref> and the [[Nuclear war|Cuban Missile Crisis]] (which went a little better).<ref>[https://www.jfklibrary.org/learn/about-jfk/jfk-in-history/cuban-missile-crisis CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS], ''John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum''</ref> Gave us [[Affirmative Action]]. Heavily associated with the Apollo program's success, largely because he could give wicked speeches to Congress<ref>[https://www.wsj.com/articles/how-jfk-took-the-u-s-to-the-moon-11554385885 How JFK Sent the U.S. to the Moon], ''Wall Street Journal'', April 4, 2019</ref> (though it was Eisenhower who started the space program).<ref name=smithsonian/>

On November 22, 1963, he was assassinated in Dallas, Texas by [[Lee Harvey Oswald]], who was himself murdered two days later by a distraught night club owner named Jack Ruby, [[John F. Kennedy assassination conspiracy theory|setting off countless conspiracy theories]].<ref>[https://people.com/politics/jfk-assassination-conspiracy-theories-document-release/ The Biggest JFK Assassination Conspiracy Theories and How They've Been (Mostly) Debunked], ''People.com'', October 10, 2017</ref> He is fondly remembered despite not getting a whole lot done in his 34 months in office.

He was the first person to be president with the current 50-state make-up, as Hawaii and Alaska were admitted into the union under Eisenhower, his immediate predecessor.

===Lyndon B. Johnson (1963–1969)===
{{main|Lyndon B. Johnson}}
JFK's vice president, a competitor of his for the Democratic presidential nomination in 1960, Southern Democrat who was saddled with a New England cabinet. Passed numerous [[civil rights]] bills, most notably the Civil Rights Act of 1964,<ref>[https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/blog/2015/07/02/day-history-president-lyndon-b-johnson-signed-civil-rights-act-1964 This Day in History: President Lyndon B. Johnson Signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964], ''The HWhite House: President Barack Obama'', July 2, 2015</ref> set up Medicare and Medicaid,<ref>[https://www.cms.gov/About-CMS/Agency-Information/History History], ''CMS.gov''</ref> and established numerous programs aimed at clobbering [[poverty]] (and they did a pretty good job). Had it not been for him driving the U.S. off a cliff in [[Vietnam]], he'd be the greatest president since Lincoln, Roosevelts and Kennedy, though he was personally kind of an anti hero. Due to the Vietnam situation, however, he dropped out of the 1968 Democratic primary after a poor showing in New Hampshire.<ref>[https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/24/opinion/lyndon-johnson-vietnam.html Why Lyndon Johnson Dropped Out], ''New York Times'', March 24, 2018</ref>

===Richard Nixon (1969–1974)===
{{main|Richard Nixon}}
"[[Cloth coat Republican]]" and a real bastard. [[Southern Strategy|Played footsie with white supremacists]] during the close '68 election,<ref>[https://www.jstor.org/stable/4129605 Nixon's Southern Strategy and Forces Against Brown], ''Frank Brown''</ref> then sabotaged the Vietnamese peace talks to win. Secretly bombed [[Cambodia]],<ref>[https://ohiohistorycentral.org/w/Bombing_of_Cambodia Bombing of Cambodia], ''Ohio History Central''</ref> launched the [[War on Drugs]],<ref>[https://www.vera.org/blog/fifty-years-ago-today-president-nixon-declared-the-war-on-drugs Fifty Years Ago Today, President Nixon Declared the War on Drugs], ''Vera Institute of Justice'', June 17, 2021</ref> and scaled back the U.S. space program.<ref>[https://www.planetary.org/articles/20141003-how-richard-nixon-changed-nasa How Richard Nixon Changed NASA], ''Planetary'', October 4, 2014</ref> A [[Society of Friends|Quaker]], he used the phone budget to chat with [[Billy Graham]] about their mutual distrust of [[Judaism|liberals]].<ref>[https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2002-03-01-0203010267-story.html Nixon, Graham anti-Semitism on tape], ''Chucago Tribune'', March 1, 2002</ref> Was implicated in [[Watergate|a particular scandal]] but refused to release [[evidence]], becoming the first president since Jackson to tell SCOTUS: ''Fuck you, I'm President.'' Their response to him: ''Nice try—smell the glove, motherfucker.'' He became the only president ever to resign.<ref>[https://www.jpost.com/international/on-this-day-richard-nixon-becomes-the-only-us-president-to-resign-676206 On this day: Richard Nixon becomes the only US president to resign], ''The Jerusalem Post'', August 9, 2021</ref>

Reagan, Bushes, Trump: All ran, and won, on a platform of "[[Reaganism|anti-establishment]]" because Nixon proved you can't trust politicians. [[Hunter S. Thompson]] saw Nixon as responsible in large part for the death of the American Dream.<ref>''The Great Shark Hunt: Strange Tales from a Strange Time'' by Hunter Thompson (1982) Warner Books. ISBN 0446514404.</ref>{{rp|212-220}} At least he left us with the [[Environmental Protection Agency|EPA]]<ref>[https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2010/12/gallery-why-nixon-created-the-epa/67351/ Gallery:Why Nixon Created the EPA], ''The Atlantic'', December 2, 2010</ref> and improved relations with [[China]] and the [[Soviet Union]].<ref>[https://billofrightsinstitute.org/essays/richard-nixon-opens-diplomatic-relations-with-china Richard Nixon Opens Diplomatic Relations with China], ''Bill of Rights Institute''</ref><ref>[https://www.history.com/topics/cold-war/detente Détente], ''History Channel'', October 27, 2009</ref>

===Gerald Ford (1974–1977)===
{{main|Gerald Ford}}
The only non-elected man to be President ''and'' Vice President,<ref>[https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/gerald-fords-unique-role-in-american-history Gerald Ford’s unique role in American history], ''Constitution Daily'', July 14, 2021</ref> and the only [[Rockefeller Republican]] to become POTUS. Mainly remembered for pardoning Nixon,<ref>[https://www.fordlibrarymuseum.gov/library/speeches/740061.asp President Gerald R. Ford's Proclamation 4311, Granting a Pardon to Richard Nixon], ''Gerald R. Ford Presidental Library and Museum'', September 8, 1974</ref> which he, unlike the rest of the country, never regretted, despite it costing him the 1976 election to Jimmy Carter.<ref>[https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna16364396 Ford never second-guessed Nixon pardon], ''NBC News'', December 27, 2006</ref> Had a very popular, outspoken [[Feminism|feminist]] wife.<ref>[http://ap.gilderlehrman.org/history-by-era/seventies/essays/betty-ford-new-kind-first-lady Betty Ford: A New Kind of First Lady], ''The Glider Lehrman Institute of American History''</ref> Chevy Chase [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9d7oG4WTyY owes his career] to him.

===Jimmy Carter (1977–1981)===
{{main|Jimmy Carter}}
A Southern Democrat and, depending on whom you ask, the last of the New Dealers or first of the post-New Dealers. The first candidate since [[John F. Kennedy]] to use his [[religion]] to win votes, thereby handing [[Religious Right|Y'all Qaida]] the ladder they need to take over Washington.<ref>[https://www.nytimes.com/1976/04/11/archives/carters-evangelism-putting-religion-into-politics-for-first-time.html Carter's Evangelism Putting Religion Into Politics for First Time Since '60], ''New York Times'', April 11, 1976</ref> His administration suffered due to an [[energy crisis]]<ref>[https://www.marketplace.org/2016/05/31/how-oil-shortage-1970s-shaped-todays-economic-policy/ How an oil shortage in the 1970s shaped today’s economic policy], ''MarketPlace'', May 31, 2016</ref> and a recession,<ref>[https://www.npr.org/2021/05/29/1001023637/think-inflation-is-bad-now-lets-take-a-step-back-to-the-1970s Think Inflation Is Bad Now? Let's Take A Step Back To The 1970s], ''NPR'', May 29, 2021</ref> as well as a hostage crisis in [[Iran]].<ref>[https://www.jimmycarterlibrary.gov/research/hostage_crisis_in_iran The Hostage Crisis in Iran], ''The Jimmy Carter Presidential Library and Museum''</ref> He lost his re-election bid in a landslide,<ref>[https://library.cqpress.com/cqalmanac/document.php?id=cqal80-860-25879-1173496 Reagan Buries Carter in a Landslide], ''CQ Almanac''</ref> forcing the Democrats to the right. He was the last Democrat to carry some of states in the Deep South,{{efn|Specifically [[Texas]], [[Mississippi]], [[Alabama]] and [[South Carolina]].<ref>[https://www.americamagazine.org/content/unconventional-wisdom/how-red-and-blue-map-evolved-over-past-century How the red and blue map evolved over the past century], ''American Magazine'', June 29, 2016</ref>}} which probably owed more than a little something to the fact that he's from [[Fun:Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia]].

He also gave Zia ul-Haq funding and arms in [[Pakistan]] (though he was reluctant to accept),<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1980/01/06/pakistan-is-reluctant-to-accept-limited-us-arms-pledge/1af45d88-f599-4015-9aab-4982772d3316/ Pakistan Is Reluctant to Accept Limited U.S. Arms Pledge], ''Washington Post'', January 6, 1980</ref> allowing both douchebags to carry out a nationwide and very effective radical Islamization in their respective neighboring countries. The reverberations of those dealings haunt us to this day.

His post-presidency was acknowledged even by political opponents as one of the most successful and impactful ones.<ref>[https://millercenter.org/president/carter/impact-and-legacy JIMMY CARTER: IMPACT AND LEGACY], ''Miller Center''</ref>

===Ronald Reagan (1981–1989)===
{{main|Ronald Reagan}}
Actor and leader for the [[New Right (United States)|New Right]].<ref>[https://lakerblogs.lssu.edu/ushist132-bennett-spr18/2018/05/20/the-rise-of-ronald-reagan-and-the-new-right/ The Rise of Ronald Reagan and the New Right], ''United States History II'', May 20, 2018</ref> Reagan was, until Trump and Biden, the oldest president of the United States, inaugurated at nearly 70.<ref>[https://www.oldest.org/politics/us-presidents/ 10 Oldest U.S. Presidents (Updated 2021)], ''Oldest.org''</ref> Reagan, like Bush and Trump to follow, was a figurehead leader. His charisma made him popular with the masses, but the [[Dick Cheney|brains]] behind it kept to the shadows. Kicked off [[Supply-side economics|Reaganomics]],<ref>[https://www.ushistory.org/us/59b.asp 59b. Reaganomics], ''U.S. History''</ref> tripled the national debt,<ref>[https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/commandingheights/shared/minitext/ess_reaganomics.html Excerpt from Commanding Heights by Daniel Yergin and Joseph Stanislaw, 1998 ed., pp. 341-342.]</ref> fired over 11,000 air traffic controllers,<ref>[https://www.npr.org/2021/08/05/1025018833/looking-back-on-when-president-reagan-fired-air-traffic-controllers Looking Back On When President Reagan Fired The Air Traffic Controllers], ''NPR'', August 5, 2021</ref> refused to get involved in the AIDS epidemic until it was too late,<ref>[https://www.vox.com/2015/12/1/9828348/ronald-reagan-hiv-aids The Reagan administration's unbelievable response to the HIV/AIDS epidemic], ''Vox'', December 1, 2016</ref> and took [[Lyndon LaRouche|LaRouche]] seriously when he said ''Star Wars'' could be made [[Strategic Defense Initiative|nonfiction]].<ref>[https://www.publishersweekly.com/978-0-684-84416-9  Way Out There in the Blue: Reagan, Star Wars and the End of the Cold War], ''Frances Fitzgerald''</ref> (He publicly referred to the USSR as the "evil empire"<ref>[https://www.politico.com/story/2018/03/08/this-day-in-politics-march-8-1983-440258 Reagan brands Soviet Union 'evil empire,' March 8, 1983], ''Politico'', March 8, 2018</ref> and the Contras as "freedom fighters",<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1985/03/02/reagan-says-us-owes-contras-help/7b39889b-b639-4d6b-9d00-f13eb13493d2/ Reagan Says U.S. Owes 'Contras' Help], ''Washington Post'', March 2, 1985</ref> both of which were lifted verbatim from the opening crawl to ''Episode IV''.)

On the foreign front, he turned a blind eye to [[Apartheid]],<ref>[https://foreignpolicy.com/2013/07/19/apartheid-amnesia/ Apartheid Amnesia], ''Foreign Press'', July 19, 2013</ref> [[Iran-Contra|illegally sold arms to Iran and then used the money to fund terrorists in]] [[Nicaragua]],<ref>[https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/reagan-iran/ The Iran-Contra Affair], ''PBS''</ref> financed even more terrorists in [[Afghanistan]] to help fight the [[Soviet Union|Soviets]], propped up Hosni Mubarak in [[Egypt]],<ref>[https://www.politico.com/story/2011/02/obama-as-carter-gop-resists-048916 Obama as Carter? GOP resists], ''Politico'', February 5, 2011</ref> covered for [[Saddam Hussein]] in Iraq,<ref>[https://foreignpolicy.com/2013/08/26/exclusive-cia-files-prove-america-helped-saddam-as-he-gassed-iran/ Exclusive: CIA Files Prove America Helped Saddam as He Gassed Iran], ''Foreign Press'',</ref> and considered giving [[Augusto Pinochet]] of [[Chile]] asylum.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/sep/11/augusto-pinochet-asylum-united-states-ronald-reagan US considered offering asylum to Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet], ''The Guardian''</ref> Here at RationalWiki, we believe he is the ninth-worst president in U.S. history, as Bush the Lesser and Trump would both have been unelectable had Raygun never taken office. [[Personality cult|Canonized as a saint]] because he presided over the end of the Cold War and said some nice words … just don't raise the fact that he supported [[gun control]] (though specifically against the [[Black Panther Party]]),<ref>[https://sites.law.duke.edu/secondthoughts/2020/04/08/the-black-panthers-nra-ronald-reagan-armed-extremists-and-the-second-amendment/ The Black Panthers, NRA, Ronald Reagan, Armed Extremists, and the Second Amendment], ''Second Thoughts'', April 8, 2020</ref> raised taxes each year of his presidency, and gave amnesty to people who were in the States illegally.<ref>[https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128303672 A Reagan Legacy: Amnesty For Illegal Immigrants], ''NPR'', July 4, 2010</ref> Despite all of this, he was re-elected in 1984 in a landslide,<ref>[https://artsandculture.google.com/exhibit/1984-reagan-s-landslide-victory-u-s-national-archives/aAIS_JXt70iELw?hl=en 1984: Reagan's Landslide Victory], ''U.S. National Archives''</ref> and carried 49 out of 50 states, and is ranked as the ninth best president for helping to ease relations with the Soviet Union and trying to restore the economy.<ref>[https://www.businessinsider.com/the-top-20-presidents-in-us-history-according-to-historians-2017-2 These are the top 25 US presidents, according to historians and biographers (and why you won't find Trump on the list)], ''Business Insider'', July 2, 2020</ref> 

Reagan had an attempt on his life in March of 1981,<ref>[https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/president-reagan-was-nearly-assassinated-in-dc-40-years-ago-tuesday/2623381/ President Reagan Was Nearly Assassinated in DC 40 Years Ago Tuesday], ''NBC 4 Washington'', March 30, 2021</ref> and while he did survive, James Brady, the White House Press Secretary, died from his injuries in 2014.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/crime/james-bradys-death-ruled-homicide-by-dc-medical-examiner/2014/08/08/686de224-1f41-11e4-82f9-2cd6fa8da5c4_story.html Medical examiner rules James Brady’s death a homicide], ''Washington Post'', August 8, 2014</ref> It was an attempt by John Hinckley to win over Jodie Foster;<ref>[https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/jodie-foster-john-hinckley-jr-shooting-b1824353.html Jodie Foster and the stalker who shot the president ‘to win her heart’], ''Independent'', March 31, 2021</ref> he was ruled to be mentally unstable, and he was freed in 2022.<ref>[https://apnews.com/article/john-hinckley-jr-freed-9db1af865b01dc956cb33291438392dc John Hinckley Jr. freed from court oversight after decades], Ben Finley, ''AP News'' 15 June 2022</ref>

===George H. W. Bush (1989–1993)===
{{main|George H. W. Bush}}
Former congressman, [[CIA|DCI]], and Vice President,<ref>[https://history.house.gov/People/Detail/10276 BUSH, George Herbert Walker], ''History, Art & Archives''</ref><ref>[https://www.cia.gov/stories/story/george-h-w-bush-the-11th-director-of-central-intelligence/ George H.W. Bush—the 11th Director of Central Intelligence], ''CIA'', December 1, 2018</ref> he buckled from the shitshow Reagan pawned off on him. Oversaw the breakdown of the USSR,<ref>[https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/01/politics/george-bush-cold-war-end/index.html How George H.W. Bush helped end the Cold War peacefully], ''CNN'', December 1, 2018</ref> barfed on the Japanese prime minister,<ref>[https://www.newsweek.com/25-years-ago-today-george-h-w-bush-vomited-prime-minister-japan-538581 25 Years Ago Today, George H.W. Bush Vomited on the Prime Minister of Japan], ''Newsweek'', January 8, 2017</ref> and ousted [[Manuel Noriega|Noriega]] when it became clear that he was political venom for the U.S. (who was propping him up in the first place).<ref>[https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-50837024 Panama invasion: The US operation that ousted Noriega], ''BBC'', December 20, 2019</ref> Ushered in modern warfare with Desert Storm—more justified than Vietnam in some ways, but even in the '90s everyone knew it was "war for oil".

Election tip: raising taxes after campaigning on "No new taxes" is a bad tactic.<ref>[https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/how-george-h-w-bushs-broken-no-new-taxes-pledge-changed-american-politics-and-policy-forever How George H.W. Bush's broken 'no new taxes' pledge changed American politics and policy forever], ''Washington Examiner'', December 1, 2018</ref> He wound up losing in 1992 to Bill Clinton, 370-168 in the electoral vote<ref>[https://www.270towin.com/1992_Election/interactive_map 1992 Presidential Election Interactive Map], ''270toWin''</ref> and 5.5% in the popular vote.<ref>[https://www.jstor.org/stable/2152483 The 1992 Vote for President Bill Clinton:Another Brittle Mandate?] ''Everett Carll Ladd'', 1993</ref> Late in his life, he disavowed the new GOP and quit his lifetime [[National Rifle Association|NRA]] membership.<ref>[https://www.thetrace.org/2015/11/george-bush-nra-membership-wayne-lapierre/ George H.W. Bush Quit the NRA With This Sternly Worded Letter], ''The Trace'', November 6, 2015</ref>

===Bill Clinton (1993–2001)===
{{main|Bill Clinton}}
Hypergamist and "[[Neoliberalism|New Democrat]]" from [[Fun:Arkansas|Arkansas]].<ref>[https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1992-10-22-9204050594-story.html CLINTON SAYS HE`S A `NEW DEMOCRAT`], ''Chicago Tribune'', October 22, 1992</ref> Before that, he bummed around at Yale (though he "didn't inhale").<ref>[https://www.hofstra.edu/community/culctr/clinton/clinton_ur_aboutbc.html Presidential Conference Press Room About Bill Clinton], ''HOFSTRA''</ref> His VP was from [[Fun:Tennessee|Tennessee]], and the cultural differences between the North and South didn't break deals between them quite so badly back then. Additionally, third-party candidate [[Ross Perot]] took 19% of the vote, although we'll never know whether he siphoned more votes from Clinton or Bush, and if he cost Bush the 1992 election.<ref>[https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2019/07/10/perot-third-party-presidential-bids How Ross Perot's Third Party Presidential Bids Shook Up American Politic], ''WBUR'', July 10, 2019</ref> Famously balanced the federal budget, though it destroyed the economy in the long run.<ref>[https://www.businessinsider.com/how-bill-clintons-balanced-budget-destroyed-the-economy-2012-9 The Untold Story Of How Clinton's Budget Destroyed The American Economy], ''Business Insider'', July 5, 2012</ref> It was a time of normalcy in the Land of the Free, and it was wonderful. Then he was caught having sexual relations with ''that'' woman, and it’s been a nightmare ever since.  He got impeached for lying to Congress about it,<ref>[https://www.cnn.com/2019/12/17/politics/bill-clinton-impeachment-explained/index.html Why was Bill Clinton impeached?], ''CNN'', December 17, 2019</ref> but was acquitted by the Senate.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/clinton-impeachment/senate-acquits-president-clinton/ The Senate Acquits President Clinton], ''New York Times'', February 13, 1999</ref>

Repealed Glass-Steagall (which invited the financial sector to rob Peter to pay Paul),<ref>[https://www.demos.org/blog/owning-consequences-clinton-and-repeal-glass-steagall Owning the Consequences: Clinton and the Repeal of Glass-Steagall], ''Demos'', September 11, 2015</ref> intervened in [[Kosovo]],<ref>[https://balkaninsight.com/2019/06/11/kosovo-honours-bill-clinton-for-nato-intervention-in-1999-war/ Kosovo Honours Bill Clinton for NATO Intervention in 1999 War], ''BalkanInsight'', June 11, 2019</ref> bombed a pharmaceutical facility in [[Sudan]] (thousands died of diseases that could not be countered, including tuberculosis, for chrissake),<ref>[https://www.jacobinmag.com/2016/10/bill-clinton-al-shifa-sudan-bombing-khartoum/ Bill Clinton’s Act of Terrorism], ''Jacobin'', October 12, 2016</ref> imposed crushing sanctions that failed to wrestle Saddam's grip on power,<ref>[https://www.jacobinmag.com/2016/05/war-iraq-bill-clinton-sanctions-desert-fox/ When Iraq Was Clinton’s War], ''Jacobin'', May 6, 2016</ref> signed [[Don't Ask, Don't Tell]],<ref>[https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/how-dont-ask-dont-tell-has-affected-lgbtq-service-members-10-years-after-repeal How Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell has affected LGBTQ service members, 10 years after repeal], ''PBS'', December 22, 2020</ref> the [[Defense of Marriage Act]],<ref>[https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/why-bill-clinton-signed-the-defense-of-marriage-act Why Bill Clinton Signed the Defense of Marriage Act], ''The New Yorker'', March 8, 2013</ref> and [[North American Free Trade Agreement|NAFTA]],<ref>[https://www.politico.com/story/2018/12/08/clinton-signs-nafta-into-law-dec-8-1993-1040789 Clinton signs NAFTA into law, Dec. 8, 1993], ''Politico'', December 8, 2018</ref> and "ended [[welfare]] as we know it". Admittedly, he hasn't aged well. The rising progressive movement in large part defines itself against his legacy.

===George W. Bush (2001–2009)===
{{main|George W. Bush}}
Fake-accented son of the 41st president and last of the Reagan Republicans. He was elected—scratch that, [[2000 U.S. Presidential Election|selected by the Electoral College]], as per the Constitution.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2020/11/04/supreme-court-election-bush-trump/ The night the Supreme Court settled a presidential election, declaring George W. Bush the winner], ''Washington Post'', November 6, 2020</ref> His first term was basically a celebration of Republicans having control of Congress and the White House for the first time since Eisenhower's first term. It was almost like revenge for Clinton stealing the second term away from H. W. Bush. By 2003, they could do whatever they wanted, as Republicans held the House and flipped the Senate.<ref>[https://www.politico.com/story/2015/11/gop-makes-gains-in-midterm-elections-nov-5-2002-215425 GOP makes gains in midterm elections, Nov. 5, 2002]], ''Politico'', November 5, 2015</ref> He declared a [[War on Terror]],<ref>[https://2001-2009.state.gov/s/ct/rls/wh/6947.htm The Global War on Terrorism: The First 100 Days], ''U.S. Department of State''</ref> gave two middle fingers to the [[Torture|Geneva Conventions]],<ref>[https://scholarship.law.duke.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1035&context=djclpp THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION AND INTERNATIONAL LAW: TOO MUCH LAWYERING AND TOO LITTLE DIPLOMACY], ''Curtis A Bradley''</ref> curtailed civil liberties,<ref>[https://historynewsnetwork.org/article/19113 The Worst President Ever on Civil Liberties?], ''Colombian College of Arts & Sciences''</ref> and introduced the concept of [[Executive power and the War on Terror|a semi-unitary executive]]. Other highlights include [[Climate change denial|ignoring and distorting scientific data]],<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2001/mar/29/globalwarming.usnews Bush kills global warming treaty], ''The Guardian''</ref> [[Hurricane Katrina|watching as Louisiana sank into the Gulf]], and the [[Great Recession|worst economic downturn since the Great Depression]].<ref>[https://5minuteeconomist.com/did-george-w-bush-preside-over-the-worst-economy-since-the-great-depression.html Did George W. Bush Preside Over the Worst Economy Since the Great Depression?], ''5 Minute Economist''</ref>  He also sat on his hands while his Enron buddies in Texas forced an energy crisis in California to great profit, ignoring pleas from the state's Republican governor.  Is it any wonder California is now deep blue?

In 2010, he published a memoir of his eight-year vacation called ''Decision Points''<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/news/blog/2010/nov/09/george-bush-memoirs-decision-points-live George Bush's memoirs published - as it happened], ''The Guardian''</ref> in which he lies even more frequently than he did at the time. He now likes to paint weird pictures of himself in the bathroom. He is the fifth-worst president in history, but only since 2017.

===Barack Obama (2009–2017)===
{{main|Barack Obama}}
The first [[African-American]] president.<ref>[https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2020/12/15/fact-check-barack-obama-first-black-u-s-president/3909214001/ Fact check: Barack Obama, not John Hanson, was the first Black U.S. president], ''USA Today'', December 15, 2020</ref> Took a beating over fancy mustard and tan suits. Democrats believed (or at least hoped) that he would stick to his guns more than Carter did, but by 2010 he had failed to make a case that the Republicans were obstructing his agenda, which by extension, is the people's agenda.<ref>[https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/12/republican-party-obstructionism-victory-trump-214498/ The Victory of ‘No’], ''Politico Magazine''</ref> Cracked down on whistleblowers more than any other president,<ref>[https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/obamas-crackdown-whistleblowers/ Obama’s Crackdown on Whistleblowers], ''The Nation'', March 26, 2013</ref> deported and detained more [[Illegal immigration|immigrant]]s than any other president,<ref>[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/obamas-deportation-policy-numbers/story?id=41715661 Obama Has Deported More People Than Any Other President], ''ABC News'', August 29, 2016</ref> raided a bunch of legal [[marijuana]] dispensaries,<ref>[https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/obamas-war-on-pot-231820/ Obama’s War on Pot], ''Rolling Stone''</ref> coddled the wealthy,<ref>[https://www.nationalreview.com/magazine/2012/12/03/obamas-coddled-elites/ Obama’s Coddled Elites], ''National Review'', November 14, 2012</ref> signed the [[NDAA]] into law,<ref>[https://www.aclu.org/press-releases/president-obama-signs-indefinite-detention-bill-law PRESIDENT OBAMA SIGNS INDEFINITE DETENTION BILL INTO LA], ''ACLU'', December 31, 2011</ref> pulled forces out of Iraq,<ref>[https://www.npr.org/2015/12/19/459850716/fact-check-did-obama-withdraw-from-iraq-too-soon-allowing-isis-to-grow Fact Check: Did Obama Withdraw From Iraq Too Soon, Allowing ISIS To Grow?], ''NPR'', December 19, 2015</ref> returned forces to Iraq(?),<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/17/barack-obama-sends-troops-back-to-iraq-as-crisis-worsens Iraq crisis: Barack Obama sends in US troops as Isis insurgency worsens], ''The Guardian'', June 17, 2014</ref> kicked off a global refugee crisis (though he did try to help refugees),<ref>[https://www.chinadaily.com.cn/world/2016-09/21/content_26851268.htm Obama calls for more efforts to help refugees], ''ChinaDaily'', September 21, 2016</ref> bombed thousands (the majority of them civilians) with [[drone]] strikes,<ref>[https://www.thebureauinvestigates.com/stories/2017-01-17/obamas-covert-drone-war-in-numbers-ten-times-more-strikes-than-bush Obama’s covert drone war in numbers: ten times more strikes than Bush], ''The Bureau of Investigative Journalism'', January 17, 2017</ref> and expanded the [[Afghanistan War]] into [[Pakistan]].<ref>[https://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/21/washington/21policy.html Obama Expands Missile Strikes Inside Pakistan], ''New York Times'', February 20, 2009</ref> American democracy sounded its stage 3 cancer alert when the [[PATRIOT Act]] wasn't repealed under Obama.

More positively, he finally killed [[Osama bin Laden]],<ref>[https://www.npr.org/series/135908383/osama-bin-laden-dead Osama Bin Laden Killed], ''NPR''</ref> passed [[Affordable Care Act|Obamacare]] and some very-slight banking regulation,<ref>[https://www.commonwealthfund.org/publications/podcast/2020/mar/monumental-effort ‘A Monumental Effort’: How Obamacare Was Passed], ''The Commonwealth Fued''</ref> reduced reliance on [[oil]] from outside America,<ref>[https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/blog/2013/08/29/reducing-america-s-dependence-foreign-oil-strategy-increase-economic-growth-and-redu Reducing America’s Dependence on Foreign Oil As a Strategy to Increase Economic Growth and Reduce Economic Vulnerability], ''The White House 
- President Barack Obama'', August 29, 2013</ref> ushered a (temporary) thaw in relations with [[Cuba]], [[Russia]], and Iran, vetoed the Keystone XL Pipeline (due to grassroots lobbying),<ref>[https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/obama-announce-rejection-keystone-xl-pipeline-proposal-n458651 President Obama Rejects Keystone XL Pipeline Proposal], ''NBC News'', November 6, 2015</ref> upheld net neutrality,<ref>[https://www.politico.com/story/2016/06/court-upholds-obama-backed-net-neutrality-rules-224309 Court upholds Obama-backed net neutrality rules], ''Politico'', June 14, 2016</ref> presided over a massive increase in green energy,<ref>[https://environmentamerica.org/blogs/environment-america-blog/ame/president-obama%E2%80%99s-renewable-energy-legacy President Obama’s Renewable Energy Legacy], ''Environment America'', January 10, 2017</ref> and helped improve [[LGBT rights]] by appointing two of the [[Supreme Court of the United States|Supreme Court]] justices who voted to enshrine marriage equality into law, appointing the most LGBT (and minority) judges of any president,<ref>[https://www.lambdalegal.org/blog/obama-appoints-record-number-of-gay-judges-but-senate-obstruction-persists Obama Appoints Record Number of Gay Judges, but Senate Obstruction Persists], ''Lambda Legal'', February 8, 2013</ref> and repealing [[Don't Ask Don't Tell]].<ref>[https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/blog/2015/12/22/president-obama-five-years-he-repealed-dont-ask-dont-tell President Obama on the Five Years Since Repealing 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'], ''The White House - President Barack Obama'', December 10, 2015</ref>

===Donald Trump (2017–2021)===
{{main|Donald Trump}}
Trump is a former failed meat salesman<ref>[https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-steaks-reveals-how-donald-thinks-2016-3 This anecdote about Donald Trump's failed steak business reveals a huge part of his personality], ''Business Insider'', March 9, 2016</ref> who wants to date [[Incest|his own daughter]].<ref>[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/donald-trump-ivanka-trump-creepiest-most-unsettling-comments-a-roundup-a7353876.html Donald Trump's unsettling record of comments about his daughter Ivanka], ''Independent'', October 10, 2016</ref> He once produced a reality TV series that hardly anyone watched, and has been walking around like Gloria Swanson in {{wpl|Sunset Boulevard (film)|''Sunset Boulevard''}} ever since. The cornerstones of his campaign were "Lock Her Up" (walked it back), "Build the Wall" (walked it back), and starting a trade war with [[China|Gyna]]—though ironically, by killing the [[Trans-Pacific Partnership|TPP]], he has assured Chinese dominance over the Pacific Rim. Trump is also confirmed to owe Chinese banks a large sum of money.<ref>Craig, Susanne, [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/21/us/politics/donald-trump-debt.html "Trump’s Empire: A Maze of Debts and Opaque Ties"], NYT 8.20.16.</ref>

Infamous for his [[Islam|Muslim]] ban (which barred many people from seven Muslim majority countries in the [[Middle East]]),<ref>[https://www.amnesty.org.uk/licence-discriminate-trumps-muslim-refugee-ban A licence to discriminate: Trump's Muslim & refugee ban], ''Amnesty International UK'', October 6, 2021</ref> [[Authoritarianism of Donald Trump|hatred of the media]],<ref>[https://www.voanews.com/a/press-freedom_trump-attacks-press-effective-new-study-finds/6187774.html Trump Attacks on Press Effective, New Study Finds], ''VOA'', April 17, 2020</ref> [[2021 U.S. Capitol riot|incitement of violence]] from his supporters,<ref>[https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-55640437 Capitol riots: Did Trump's words at rally incite violence?], ''BBC News'', February 14, 2021</ref> [[Trans-Pacific Partnership|destabilizing]] {{wpl|Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action|influence}} on {{wpl|2018 Russia–United States summit|foreign policy}}, deconstruction of the administrative state, eradication of {{wpl|Clean Power Plan|Obama's environmental laws}}, fomenting of [[authoritarianism]] in his party, destruction of what's left of workers' rights,<ref>[https://www.epi.org/publication/unprecedented-the-trump-nlrbs-attack-on-workers-rights/ The Trump NLRB’s attack on workers’ rights], ''Economic Policy Institute'', October 16, 2019</ref> relentless scapegoating of anyone and everyone who doesn't agree with him 100 percent,<ref>[https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/01/28/upshot/donald-trump-twitter-insults.htmlThe 598 People, Places and Things Donald Trump Has Insulted], ''New York Times'', January 28, 2016</ref> {{wpl|Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017|robbing of the country to fatten his wallet}} (and that of the ultra-rich), {{wpl|American Health Care Act|crusading to deny healthcare}} to tens of millions of citizens at [[COVID-19|the most inconvenient of times]],<ref>[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/06/12/868073068/transgender-health-protections-reversed-by-trump-administration Transgender Health Protections Reversed By Trump Administration], ''NPR'', June 12, 2020</ref> allowing border patrol to forcibly separate migrant families and have the children locked up in cages,<ref>[https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44518942 Trump migrant separation policy: Children 'in cages' in Texas], ''BBC'', June 18, 2018</ref> and bragging about all this and more on [[Twitter]], which he even got banned from on January 8, 2021.<ref>[https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/08/tech/trump-twitter-ban/index.html Twitter bans President Trump permanently], ''CNN', January 9, 2021</ref> This in addition to foaming at the mouth at the prospect of war with [[Iran]],<ref>[https://www.americanoversight.org/investigation/the-trump-administrations-escalating-tension-with-iran THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION’S ESCALATING TENSION WITH IRAN], ''American Oversight'', January 20, 2021</ref> or [[North Korea]],<ref>[https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/north-korea-crisis-how-events-have-unfolded-under-trump-n753996 North Korea crisis: How events have unfolded under Trump], ''NBC News'', November 2, 2017</ref> or [[Venezuela]],<ref>[https://www.cnbc.com/2019/04/30/heres-how-the-us-venezuela-relationship-reached-a-boiling-point.html Tensions between Venezuela and the US keep rising. Here’s how they got to this point], ''CNBC'', April 30, 2019</ref> or whichever one happens to be his obsession of the moment. He has the dishonor of currently being the only sitting American president to publicly speak out in defense of [[Neo-Nazism|Neo-Nazis]] and stack his administration with openly [[Fascism|fascist]] [[Steve Bannon|policy]] [[Sebastian Gorka|mak]][[Stephen Miller|ers]].<ref>[https://www.cnn.com/2017/08/16/world/trump-charlottesville-reaction/index.html World to Trump: Stand up against racism, neo-Nazis], ''CNN'', August 16, 2017</ref>

One of the most disgraceful moments of his presidency came midway through 2020, when [[George Floyd|George Floyd was murdered by Derek Chauvin]], and nationwide protests erupted. Trump's response was not just to unleash the police to teargas and brutalize protesters. Trump's response was to deploy the fucking military on the streets of D.C.,<ref>[https://www.brookings.edu/research/the-insurrection-act-and-putting-troops-on-american-streets/ The Insurrection Act and Putting Troops on American Streets], ''Brookings'', December 30, 2021</ref> and he let the police, led by the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, teargas PEACEFUL protesters on Lafayette Square so he could walk across the street and take a picture in front of a church he never went to with an upside-down Bible that he didn't own.<ref>[https://www.npr.org/2020/06/01/867532070/trumps-unannounced-church-visit-angers-church-officials Peaceful Protesters Tear-Gassed To Clear Way For Trump Church Photo-Op], ''NPR'', June 1, 2020</ref> It was revealed by a Department of Justice official that that Trump's Attorney General, William Barr gave the order to clear out the Lafayette Square protesters.<ref>[https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/02/politics/barr-protests-white-house/index.html "Attorney General Barr ordered authorities to clear protesters near White House, DOJ official says," Evan Perez and David Shortell, CNN]</ref><ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/barr-personally-ordered-removal-of-protesters-near-white-house-leading-to-use-of-force-against-largely-peaceful-crowd/2020/06/02/0ca2417c-a4d5-11ea-b473-04905b1af82b_story.html?hpid=hp_hp-banner-high_protestwhitehouse-345pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory-ans "Barr personally ordered removal of protesters near White House, leading to use of force against largely peaceful crowd," Carol D. Leonnig, Matt Zapotosky, Josh Dawsey, and Rebecca Tan, Washington Post]</ref>

The final year of Trump's presidency was marked by the [[COVID-19 pandemic]], which is credited with wiping out much of the economic gains made under both his ''and'' Obama's administrations. Many people have condemned his initially slow response to the virus and his previous dissolution of task forces meant to deal with pandemics as criminal negligence. His call to reopen businesses during the pandemic was also criticized for effectively calling people to die so rich men can get more money.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-says-he-may-soon-lift-restrictions-to-reopen-businesses-defying-the-advice-of-coronavirus-experts/2020/03/23/f2c7f424-6d14-11ea-a3ec-70d7479d83f0_story.html Trump says he may soon push businesses to reopen, defying the advice of coronavirus experts], ''Washington Post'', March 23, 2020</ref> ''Thousands'' would die ''each day'' due to his criminal and borderline homicidal negligence, deliberate misleading of the public, preference for profit over people, purging of anyone who actually tried to do the right thing, dismantling of any program meant to respond quickly to the pandemic, and intentionally keeping people from getting masks or vaccines whatsoever. Several times, more people died on a single day than people who died on 9/11. A grand total of '''400,000''' people died under his watch by January 19, 2021, his last full day as president.<ref>[https://khn.org/news/nation-records-400000-covid-deaths-on-last-day-of-donald-trump-presidency/ On Trump’s Last Full Day, Nation Records 400,000 Covid Deaths], ''KHN'', January 19, 2021</ref> He may have not started a new war (not for lack of trying), but he still killed more Americans than anyone else in any way besides the Civil War.

He also has the record of one of the lowest approval rates for an American president, 37%.<ref>[https://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/poll-trump-approval-rating-236372 Poll: Trump's approval rating dips to new low of 37 percent], ''Politico'', March 22, 2017</ref> Amazingly, he won the presidency while having a 60 percent disapproval rating on the day of the election and became the single most unpopular president since polling's inception within ''days'' of taking office.<ref>[https://news.gallup.com/poll/197576/trump-favorability-trails-presidents-elect.aspx Trump Favorability Up, but Trails Other Presidents-Elect], ''Gallup'', November 17, 2016</ref> He was impeached on abuse of power and obstruction of Congress, in this case over [[Trump-Ukraine scandal|his attempt at bribing]] the government of [[Ukraine]] to get dirt on his political opponents; he is the third president ever impeached after Andrew Johnson and Bill Clinton.<ref>[https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49800181 Trump impeachment: The short, medium and long story], ''BBC News'', February 5, 2020</ref> Come 2020, Trump became the first incumbent president to lose re-election since George H.W. Bush in 1992.<ref>[https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/international/world-news/donald-trump-becomes-the-11th-incumbent-american-president-to-lose-a-re-election-bid/articleshow/79111589.cms?from=mdr Donald Trump becomes the 11th incumbent American President to lose a re-election bid], ''The Economic Times'', November 8, 2020</ref>

In addition to his horrible handling of the COVID-19 pandemic, perhaps the single most dangerous and infamous thing he ever did was [[2021 U.S. Capitol riot|attempting a violent self-coup by personally inciting an armed insurrection to stop Congress from certifying the results of the 2020 election, so he could illegally stay in power and overturn the results]]. The storming of the Capitol consequently caused five deaths and hundreds of injuries all around in the building during the violent riot.<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/jan/08/capitol-attack-police-officer-five-deaths Capitol attack: the five people who died], ''The Guardian''</ref> Multiple lawmakers, including ''his own vice president'', genuinely feared for their lives and evacuated the Capitol while he refused to send in the National Guard,<ref>[https://www.forbes.com/sites/joewalsh/2021/01/06/reports-trump-resisted-sending-national-guard-to-quell-violent-mob-at-us-capitol/ Reports: Trump Resisted Sending National Guard To Quell Violent Mob At U.S. Capitol], ''Forbes'', January 6, 2021</ref> as many of his supporters were actively trying to kill [[Mike Pence]] and [[Nancy Pelosi]] (among other members of Congress).<ref>[https://www.itv.com/news/2021-02-10/us-capitol-rioters-planned-to-kill-mike-pence-and-put-bullet-through-nancy-pelosis-skull-legal-documents-say US Capitol rioters 'planned to kill Pence and Pelosi' impeachment trial hears as never before seen footage shown], ''ITV News'', February 11, 2021</ref>{{efn|Just for a scale of how bad the whole thing was, Senator [[Mitt Romney]] (R-Utah), a noted Trump critic, was literally '''''mere seconds away''''' from being caught by them; so close, he genuinely thought he was about to die. If it weren’t for the actions of Officer Eugene Goodman, Romney likely would've been slaughtered.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/02/11/eugene-goodman-romney-capitol-riot/ Officer Eugene Goodman lauded again for saving Romney during the Capitol riot: ‘We all owe him a debt of gratitude’], ''Washington Post'', February 11, 2021</ref>}}

Due to this disgraceful action, he lost all of his social media accounts and was impeached again on January 13; this time, on account of inciting insurrection.<ref>[https://www.nbcnews.com/news/morning-briefing/trump-impeached-again-all-eyes-turn-senate-n1254248 Trump impeached again, all eyes turn to Senate], ''NBC News'', January 14, 2021</ref> He now holds the infamous distinction as the first president in American history ever to have been impeached ''twice''.<ref>[https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackbrewster/2021/01/13/trump-becomes-first-president-impeached-twice-after-fomenting-capitol-riot/ Trump Becomes First President Impeached Twice After Fomenting Capitol Riot], ''Forbes'', January 13, 2021</ref> He is the second-worst president ever to serve, even without much "historical" judgement, with the outright [[fascism]] concluding his presidency as testimony. At least, it didn't spiral into another [[American Civil War|whole civil war]], so the USA may yet heal with affirmative action—all while many Republicans seem to largely deny they had actually enabled it, instead continuing to support the wannabe dictator's dangerous disregard for the facts and [[Whataboutism|project their feelings of guilt onto]] "[[Red-baiting|communist]] [[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez|AOC]] [[Black Lives Matter|BLM]] pro-abortion [[Antifascist Action|antifas]]" [[Whataboutism|in a desperate attempt to avoid introspection]], ''all the while'' they look like idiots to even some of their own base.

===Joe Biden (2021–2025)===
{{main|Joe Biden}}
Arriving to office via [[Amtrak]], it's good ol' Joe Biden!<ref>[https://www.businessinsider.com/amtrak-joe-brief-history-of-bidens-history-americas-railroad-2021-4 Amtrak Joe: A brief look at President Biden's long history of supporting America's railroad], ''Business Insider'', April 10, 2021</ref> He was Obama's vice president,<ref>[https://www.cnbc.com/2021/03/26/why-former-president-barack-obama-picked-joe-biden-as-his-vp-we-couldnt-have-been-more-different.html Why former President Barack Obama picked Joe Biden as his VP in 2008: ‘We couldn’t have been more different’] ''CNBC'', March 26, 2021</ref> who won the primary against [[Bernie Sanders]]<ref>[https://www.vox.com/2020/4/13/21219715/bernie-sanders-joe-biden-endorsement-democratic-primary-2020 How Joe Biden won over Bernie Sanders — and the Democratic Party], ''Vox'', April 13, 2020</ref> and got elected with the most votes in history (over 81 million<ref>[https://www.cbsnews.com/news/joe-biden-popular-vote-record-barack-obama-us-presidential-election-donald-trump/ Joe Biden breaks Obama's record for most votes ever cast for a U.S. presidential candidate], ''CBS News'', December 7, 2020</ref>{{efn|Though that's because more people who hadn't voted in prior presidential elections voted against Trump than for him in 2020. [[Crazification factor|Disturbingly]], Trump himself got over ''74 million'' votes.<ref>[https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/authoritarian-therapy/202012/why-did-74-million-people-vote-trump Why Did 74 Million People Vote for Trump?], ''Psychology Today'', December 14, 2020</ref>}}), now the oldest elected president in history at 78 years old.<ref>[https://apnews.com/article/biden-inauguration-joe-biden-race-and-ethnicity-ronald-reagan-pennsylvania-48d1659d4469999be87fbd87d560a52c At 78 and the oldest president, Biden sees a world changed], ''AP News'', January 23, 2021</ref> An infamous gaffe machine,<ref>[https://www.reviewjournal.com/opinion/letters/letter-joe-biden-is-a-gaffe-machine-2382983/ LETTER: Joe Biden is a gaffe machine], ''Las Vegas Review Journal'', June 20, 2021</ref> an [[Iraq War]] supporter,<ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/feb/17/joe-biden-role-iraq-war Joe Biden championed the Iraq war. Will that come back to haunt him now?], ''The Guardian'', February 17, 2020</ref> a tough on crime adherent,<ref>[https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2020/08/biden-harris-tough-on-crime-2020.html The ‘Tough on Crime’ Ticket], ''Intelligencer'', August 14, 2020</ref> a [[War on Drugs]] champion,<ref>[https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2019/4/25/18282870/joe-biden-criminal-justice-war-on-drugs-mass-incarceration Joe Biden’s long record supporting the war on drugs and mass incarceration, explained], ''Vox'', July 31, 2019</ref> and a longtime friend to [[Strom Thurmond|well-known segregationists]],<ref>[https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/joe-biden-strom-thurmond-eastland/ For Joe Biden, Friendship Is Magic], ''The Nation'', June 24, 2019</ref> Joe is essentially just an empty suit put there to beat Trump and do better on COVID, all but a placeholder while [[Joe Manchin|various]] [[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez|factions]] within the Democratic Party vie for power.

Many voters, experts, analysts, and commentators have all commented on how Biden has been a surprisingly progressive president. Kicking the US environmental response into gear (though it still has major flaws),<ref>[https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2021/10/18/fact-sheet-biden-harris-administration-launches-plan-to-combat-pfas-pollution/ FACT SHEET: Biden-⁠Harris Administration Launches Plan to Combat PFAS Pollution], ''The White House'', October 18, 2021</ref> actually getting the USA to reconnect with the world, and spearheading a monumentally successful vaccination program for COVID-19, it all feels a lot better.<ref>[https://nypost.com/2021/10/07/biden-says-he-started-the-vaccination-program-despite-trump-rollout/ Biden says he ‘started the vaccination program’ despite Trump rollout], ''New York Post'', October 7, 2021</ref> Biden has also had unique achievements such as cutting support for the Saudi-led invasion of Yemen,<ref>[https://apnews.com/article/biden-end-support-saudi-offenseive-yemen-b68f58493dbfc530b9fcfdb80a13098f Biden ending US support for Saudi-led offensive in Yemen], ''AP News'', February 4, 2021</ref> forcing the military to reevaluate its own white supremacy,<ref>[https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2021/02/biden-secretary-of-defense-moving-to-purge-the-military-of-white-supremacists BIDEN’S SECRETARY OF DEFENSE IS MOVING TO PURGE THE MILITARY OF WHITE SUPREMACISTS], ''Vanity Fair'', February 4, 2021</ref> overturning many of Trump's social policies,<ref>[https://apnews.com/article/joe-biden-climate-change-business-government-and-politics-065fa880c9d210c90a9d86be93e79946 Biden signs three bills to overturn Trump-era rules], ''AP News'', June 30, 2021</ref> and other good points of policy that spark hope for nothing like what we had under Obama. ''That said'', the old pattern of Joe Biden fuckups are still present: A pretty messy cabinet, general centrist snobbery, a horrible immigration policy, definitely ''still'' some bad foreign policy issues, such as when the US lost the war in Afghanistan,<ref>[https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/31/politics/americas-afghan-war-is-over-joe-biden-legacy/index.html America's Afghan war is over but the battle for Biden's legacy is only just beginning], ''CNN'', August 31, 2021</ref> and dropping many of the progressive promises that were dotted on his campaign. There's a reason why polls cite he is the second least popular president, second only to Trump.<ref>[https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/one-year-in-bidens-approval-rating-is-in-troubleonly-trumps-was-lower/ One Year In, Biden’s Approval Rating Is In Trouble — Only Trump’s Was Lower], ''FiveThirtyEight'', January 14, 2022</ref> On example of his mismanagement - Biden was partly to blame when gas prices skyrocketed, especially as he didn’t want to do anything to lower them.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/31/gas-prices-biden-approval-clean-energy/ Opinion  Gas prices are through the roof. That’s just how Biden wants it.], ''Washington Post'', May 31, 2022</ref> Eventually he did remove a gas tax in order to barely relieve prices, and since the summer, gas and more broadly, inflation have seemed to fall. But since it took forever for him to do anything, people either don't know or simply don't care that he helped bring down inflation. Stuff like this is why many people expected the midterms to go wrong.

Heading into 2022, many feared a "red wave" where Republicans would match or surpass their 2014 results. But it never happened. On the backs of record breaking youth turnout, Democrats ''gained'' a seat in the Senate, thereby breaking the 50-50 deadlock, multiple Democratic governors won election, and the House only barely went to the Republicans by a razor-thing margin, essentially the American version of [[Theresa May]]'s hung parliament results in 2017. He later chose to run for reelection, and by September 2023, many people felt he was a shoe-in to win. <ref>[https://www.rutgers.edu/news/what-happened-red-wave "What Happened to the Red Wave?" Rutgers]</ref> <ref>[https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-63569850 "US midterms: Why a Republican 'wave' never happened," Bernd Debusmann Jr and Natalie Sherman, BBC News]</ref> <ref>[https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/23448972/midterms-results-democrats-senate-red-wave "Why the red wave didn’t come," Andrew Prokop, Vox]</ref>

Unfortunately, everything changed by October 7, 2023, which was when [[Hamas]] attacked [[Israel]]. In response, [[Benjamin Netanyahu]] committed such monstrous violations of Palestinian human rights that many experts and the country of South Africa accused Israel of genocide. Biden, a diehard [[Zionist]] and a supporter of [[Israel]]<ref group=note> In fact, arguably THE most pro-Israeli president in US history.</ref> continued arming and funding Netanyahu's government as it committed war crimes and crimes against humanity. His refusal to change  makes Biden complicit in the genocide of Palestinians, which pretty much irreversibly tainted his legacy, destroyed all his youth support, and sparked countless protests on college campuses who loathed his support for Israel. <ref>[https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/may/20/biden-weapons-israel-gaza-war "Biden wants progressives to believe he’s reining in Israel. He isn’t," Mohamad Bazzi, The Guardian]</ref>

But most infamously, longstanding concerns over his age and cognitive decline turned into utter dread. For instance, take the time he forgot the name of his defense secretary. This was once seen as a typical Biden gaffe, now everyone realizes it was more likely a symptom of his brain slowly dying before the rest of his body does. <ref>[https://twitter.com/tomselliott/status/1369044328807596036 Twitter video showing the moment. Pretty painful.]</ref> This all came to a head during his June 2024 debate with Trump. It was a performance so godawful that even the mainstream media and the party itself<ref>George Clooney, Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, ''and'' Barack Obama all wanted him to drop out.</ref> demanded that Biden withdraw from the race. After nearly a month of saying no, Biden finally relented on July 21, dropping out of the race and endorsing his Vice President, [[Kamala Harris]]. <ref>[https://apnews.com/article/biden-drops-out-2024-election-ddffde72838370032bdcff946cfc2ce6 Biden drops out of 2024 race after disastrous debate inflamed age concerns. VP Harris gets his nod. Associated Press.]</ref>

===Donald Trump (2025-incumbent)===
{{main|Donald Trump}}
But frankly, none of that mattered. In a result that resembles 2004 more than 2016, Donald Trump comfortably won reelection off the backs of a massive surge in young male voters, including from Latino men, as well as continued (and frankly predictable) support from white women. The country shifted so far to the right that Trump won every single swing state, Republicans won the Senate and kept the House, and Trump even won the popular vote, the first time a Republican had done so since Bush in 2004. His very first act as president was to issue a full pardon for over 1500 January 6 rioters, including violent [[Proud Boys]] and [[Oath Keepers]] who assaulted police officers, overturning literally everything Biden ever did as president, as well as proclaiming an end to birthright citizenship via executive order (which is illegal and unconstitutional). This portends a harrowing future for the people of the United States.

==Curse of Tippecanoe==
Elected in 1840, [[William Henry Harrison]] died eight days after contracting what was believed to be a case of typhoid fever and pneumonia and only a month after taking office. This was the start of the so-called "Curse of Tippecanoe," a 120-year tenure of presidents, elected or re-elected in years evenly divisible by twenty, dying in office.<ref>[https://www.grunge.com/709874/tecumsehs-curse-fully-explained/ TECUMSEH'S CURSE FULLY EXPLAINED], ''Grunge'', December 16, 2021</ref> This "Curse" was named after Harrison's "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too" campaign slogan, which referenced his past as a killer of Native American leaders.<ref>[https://medium.com/the-collector/the-curse-that-killed-seven-us-presidents-a97d4ecddc99 The Curse That Killed Seven US Presidents], ''Medium'', November 10, 2020</ref>

Honorable mention goes to [[Zachary Taylor]], who fought against Tecumseh alongside Harrison. He was elected in 1848 and died in 1850 because of a sudden stomach illness. He ate a bowl of cherries cooled with contaminated ice;<ref>[https://www.inquirer.com/philly/health/medical-mystery-did-this-president-suffer-a-death-by-cherries-20180504.html Medical Mystery: Did this president suffer a death by cherries?], ''The Philadelphia Inquirer'', May 6, 2018</ref> speculation he was poisoned was shot down.<ref>[https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1991-06-27-mn-2064-story.html Zachary Taylor Did Not Die of Arsenic Poisoning, Tests Indicate], ''Los Angeles Tines'', June 27, 1991</ref> This was the only time two presidents died within ten years from one another. He was not elected in a "cursed" year, but like Harrison, Taylor fought against Tecumseh.

Elected in 1860, [[Abraham Lincoln]] was the first President assassinated while in office and was also the first President elected in a "cursed" year since Harrison; thereby, crystallizing the curse happening every twenty years. He was fatally shot at Ford’s Theater by John Wilkes Booth, a [[Confederate States of America|Confederate]] actor who opposed Lincoln's proposals in favor of [[civil rights]] and voting rights for African Americans. On the same night of Lincoln’s assassination, two of Booth’s conspirators failed to kill Vice President Andrew Johnson and Secretary of State William Seward; Lewis Powell only managed to leave Seward seriously disfigured in his mansion and George Atzerodt got drunk and left the Kirkwood Hotel, rather than attempting to kill Johnson, who became president after Lincoln’s assassination. Three months after Booth’s own murder by Boston Corbett, Powell and Atzerodt, along with David Herold and their landlady Mary Surratt, would become four of the eight remaining conspirators that were hanged on July 7, 1865. Although Booth and his conspirators all participated in their own evil deeds, there are some [[Lincoln assassination conspiracy theories|unanswered questions and conspiracy theories that persist over Lincoln’s death and what really happened on that fateful day]].<ref name=news9live>[https://www.news9live.com/knowledge/infamous-assassinations-of-us-presidents-list-and-details-135503 From Abraham Lincoln to John F Kennedy: List of US Presidents assassinated while in office], ''News 9 Live'', November 21, 2021</ref>

Elected in 1880, [[James A. Garfield]] was the second president to be assassinated when he was shot by Charles J. Guiteau, who thought the only way to end intra-party fighting among the Republicans was for Garfield to die (but had nothing against Garfield personally).<ref name=news9live/><ref>[https://www.nps.gov/articles/000/the-execution-of-charles-guiteau.htm The Execution of Charles Guiteau], ''National Park Service''</ref>

Elected in 1900, William McKinley was the third president to be assassinated when he was shot by gunman Leon Czolgosz, an [[Anarchism|anarchist]] who regarded McKinley as a symbol of oppression due to losing his job during a [[recession]]. McKinley died on September 14, 1901, from gangrene caused by bullet wounds by Cozilgosz, who was later executed several months later.<ref name=news9live/>

Elected in 1920, [[Warren G. Harding]] died in 1923 of heart disease in [[San Francisco]] while on a western tour.<ref>[https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/strange-death-warren-harding The ‘strange’ death of Warren G. Harding], ''PBS News Hour'', August 2, 2015</ref> While immensely popular during his time in office, after his death, reports of massive corruption scandals within his administration eroded his popularity and public perception; just to add insult to injury.<ref>[https://www.ohioswallow.com/extras/9780821418185_chapter_1.pdf Dead Last: The Public Memory of Warren G. Harding’s Scandalous Legacy - Chapter 1: Questions Asked], ''OhioShallow''</ref>

Re-elected in 1940, [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]] died in office from a stroke while posing for a painting on a chair.<ref>[https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/looking-back-at-the-day-fdr-died Looking back at the day FDR died], ''Constitution Daily'', April 12, 1945</ref> He was the only president elected four times and the only president to serve for three terms, but his health eroded the closer he got to 1945, and he died 82 days into his fourth term just before he could see the end of [[World War II]].<ref>[https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/news/local-history/story/2020-01-20/from-the-archives-fdr-started-fourth-term-75-years-ago From the Archives: FDR started fourth term 75 years ago], ''San Diego Union Tribune'', January 20, 2020</ref>

Elected in 1960, [[John F. Kennedy]] was the fourth president to be assassinated and the last of eight presidents to die in office. He was assassinated in Dallas, Texas by a former marine named Lee Harvey Oswald. Due to Oswald’s own murder by Jack Ruby, many conspiracy theories persist over the motive behind his death, the investigation to his death, the men responsible for his death, and even Oswald who shot him, the CIA, the Mafia, the Soviets, and even Lyndon Johnson. This was the first assassination ever caught on film, which fueled the mythology of the moment since people who were alive then largely remain alive today.<ref name=news9live/>

Elected in 1980, [[Ronald Reagan]] had an attempt on his life that left him wounded, but he survived.<ref>[https://www.theage.com.au/world/north-america/from-the-archives-1981-ronald-reagan-survives-assassination-attempt-20210326-p57ecp.html#:~:text=Washington%2C%2031%20March%20%E2%80%93%20President%20Ronald,of%20three%20to%20four%20metres.&text=Doctors%20removed%20a%20.,chest%20and%20collapsed%20a%20lung. From the Archives, 1981: Ronald Reagan survives assassination attempt], ''The Age'', March 29, 2021</ref> He also survived treatment for colon cancer while in office.<ref>[https://www.politico.com/story/2010/07/reagan-undergoes-cancer-surgery-july-13-1985-039636 Reagan Undergoes Cancer Surgery, July 13, 1985], ''Politico'', July 13, 2010</ref> Oddly enough, the first president to be stricken by the Curse, Harrison, was the oldest president at inauguration (68 years, 23 days) for 140 years, until he was finally surpassed by Ronald Reagan in 1981 (69 years, 349 days), the president who "broke" said Curse.<ref>[https://www.loc.gov/wiseguide/jan03/harrison An Incredibly Long Winded President Who Wasn't President For Very Long], ''Loc.gov''</ref> Interestingly, as Governor of [[Fun:California|California]] before his presidency, Reagan refused to approve a major dam project that would have flooded an Indian reservation because "[[Stopped clock|we've already broken enough treaties with the Indians]]."<ref>[https://digitalscholarship.unlv.edu/history_fac_articles/202/ Not Dammed Indians: The Dos Rios Dam and the Politics of Indian Removal], ''American Historical Association'', 2019</ref>

Who was the first president to neither die in office nor suffer any injuries from an attempt on his life? [[George W. Bush]], "elected" in 2000.{{efn|A {{wpl|Vladimir Arutyunian|Russian extremist}} did try to blow him up with a hand grenade in 2005, but the grenade failed to go off and Bush was uninjured.}} Many argue that, since he was appointed by the Supreme Court after [[Al Gore]] took the popular vote, he deserves an asterisk. However, Gore also survived both of Bush's terms.

==See also==
* [[Prime Minister of the United Kingdom]]
* [[Vice President of the United States]]
* [[White House]]

==External links==
* [http://www.whitehouse.gov/ Official website of the White House]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vvy0wRLD5s8 ''Animaniacs'' — "Presidents Song"]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Exq5i_pPoyo&feature=youtu.be&t=22s ''Metal Wolf Chaos''] — What happens when a Japanese [[Video game|game]] developer gets hold of a copy of ''Air Force One''
* {{wpa|President of the Continental Congress}}
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIkr3mdlp-s CNN Explains: Presidential Libraries]

==Notes==
{{reflist|2|80%|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|3|80%}}

[[Category:U.S. Presidency| ]]
[[Category:Presidents of the United States| ]]
{{POTUS}}

Categories: U.S. Presidency, Presidents of the United States