Stainless steel soap

{{significantly problematic}}[[File:Stainless steel hand-soap.jpg|thumb|right|165px|A bar of stainless-steel "soap". Doesn't exactly look comfortable to rub on skin.]]{{Altmed}}
{{Sources needed}}

'''Stainless-steel soap''' is just that: a slab of stainless steel used for alleged cleansing purposes &mdash; although it isn't very soapy.

Chunks of polished stainless steel have been sold for this purpose. German inventor Dirk Zielonka patented such a block in 2000.<ref>[https://patents.google.com/patent/DE10001728C2/en?oq=edelstahlseife German patent DE10001728C2], via Google Patents, accessed Oct 8, 2021.</ref> A [[Germany|German]] firm holds a 2004 patent for its version.<ref>[http://chemistry.about.com/cs/howthingswork/f/blstainlessodor.htm How Does Stainless Steel Remove Odors?] About.com, 2009.</ref>

That it doesn't actually work at all is, of course, no barrier to its adoption.

==Theory==
The underlying idea is that the [[iron]] or chromium in the stainless steel soap binds sulfur compounds that cause the strong odors of [[garlic]], [[onion]]s, and other food items.<ref>[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/eliminating-garlic-smell_n_1341413 Why Stainless Steel Erases Garlic's Aroma], Huffington Post, March 13, 2012</ref> This chemical binding does occur with many catalysts in much more forced conditions, but there's no proof that it happens in kitchen sink conditions.

It seems likelier that any effects from the stainless steel soap are actually due to the actions of running water and friction, and that a chunk of rubber, plastic, or something similarly solid would yield comparable results.<ref>[https://www.delightedcooking.com/what-is-stainless-steel-soap.htm What is Stainless Steel Soap?], Michael Pollick, Delighted Cooking, August 18, 2021</ref>

==Comparison with actual soap==
Traditional soap has the {{wpl|detergent}} quality that arises from its combination of organic acids with inorganic ions, resulting in a product that allows normally insoluble oil and grease to emulsify more easily with water. Stainless steel soap lacks these detergent properties.

==Does it work?==
There doesn't seem to be much evidence for it. NPR in 2006 suggested there were no scientific studies into its effects.<ref name=npr/> 

[[NPR]] asked retired chemistry professor Bob Wolke to try it out, and he found it didn't remove garlic odor from his hands.<ref name=npr>[https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6473350 Does a Bit of Steel Get Rid of That Garlic Smell?], NPR, Nov 11, 2006</ref> Buzzfeed conducted an informal experiment that compared it with soap and two other alleged solutions, coffee grounds, and antiseptic mouthwash. The stainless steel soap beat the mouthwash, but was less effective than coffee grounds, and the best at removing odor was... SOAP.<ref>[https://www.buzzfeed.com/chuphanginichandrakanthan/smelly-garlic-hands I Tried Getting Rid Of Garlic Smell With A Weirdly Fascinating Stainless Steel Soap], Buzzfeed, July 31, 2018</ref>

==Final Analysis==

===Advantages===
*Stainless steel soap does not melt or dissolve in water nearly as quickly as conventional soaps. It's probably safe to say that one bar will last a lifetime.
*If you've ever run out of dishwasher soap and attempted to run the dishwasher using ordinary dish or household soap, you know what a mess that can make. Stainless steel soap does not cause this problem.<ref group=note>What? It isn't like anything like this would have ever happened to me.</ref>
*If it happens to slip down the garbage disposal, you'll know instantly. 
*Endorsed by {{wpl|the Stainless Steel Rat||.}}
*Can be used to defend oneself if ever attacked in the shower — though this might count as use of deadly 
cleaning product
 weapon.
*The "soap on a 
chain
 rope" version doubles as a medieval weapon.
*If your house ever gets hit by a jet airliner, [[Alex Jones|rest assured]] that [[Conspiracy theory|the government is lying]] if they report failing to recover your steel soap unharmed (since [[9/11 truther|jet fuel can't melt steel soaps]]).
*If lost, can be found with metal detectors.
*[[Vegan]] friendly, maan!
*Can be made out of recycled materials.
*Holds an edge better than most other brands of soap; perfect for making a shank if you're in prison. Assuming you can sharpen it — if not, just dumping the bar into a sock and spinning it is likely the way to go.
*It works very well as a paperweight.
*No risk of soap drop, because it's not the least bit slippery — even in water.
*It won't leave behind gunky soap scum.
*It won't crumble to pieces in your hand.<ref group=note>This one's definitely happened to me.</ref>
*You can be sure your roommate wouldn't use the stainless steel soap to jerk off.
*You can play the "cold stethoscope on someone's skin" as a prank.
*Definitely cooler than the typical soap bar.
*Great for squashing annoying [[Fun:Fairies|fairies]].

===Disadvantages===
[[File:S.O.S Soap Pad.JPG|thumb|right|The old-fashioned kind was not gentle on skin either.]]
* It doesn't work.
* Liquid form may glow a satisfying red color, but it irritates skin badly. (It also makes skin catch fire as soon as you touch it.)<ref group=note>If you're a silicon-based lifeform that lives in molten rock, this is not a problem. But why are you reading a Wiki by carbon and liquid water-based lifeforms for other carbon and liquid water-based lifeforms?</ref>
* Not recommended for soap carving (unless you 
[[LSD|are on]]
 {{wpl|Etching|use acid}}).
* Will hurt if you drop it on your toes.
* Can't be used to make soap bubbles.
* Not [[organic]], man.
* Poor lubricant.
* Doesn't really make suds all that well below 1370°C (2500°F).
* If you catch your kids using their pottymouth, they might need their mouths cleaned with soap and water — just remember that, if using ''this'' soap to do it, your children will also need dentures.
* Probably not a good idea to place in a microwave.
* If you throw away a bar in anger, it ''will'' probably spark and crack the tiles or even hurt someone.
* Iron and steel are generally not recommended for [[Fun:Fairies|the wee folk]].
* The only scent it has is a slight metallic smell of the iron it’s mostly made of.

==External links==
*[http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6473350 Does a Bit of Steel Get Rid of That Garlic Smell], [[NPR]]
*[http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-stainless-steel-soap.htm What is Stainless Steel Soap], wiseGEEK
*[http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/08/science/08qna.html Stainless steel soap], [[New York Times]].
*[http://www.abc.net.au/science/audio/2009/09/17/2688735.htm Stainless steel soap], Australian ABC, audio.

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist}}

[[Category:Alternative medicine]]
[[Category:Scams]]

Categories: Alternative medicine, Scams