Ted Nugent

[[File:Ted Nugent flag desecration.jpg|thumb|right|[[flag Police|Makes sense.]] He’s Springsteen’s evil twin musically so we guess he is politically, too.|165px]]{{altright}}
[[File:chickenhawks.gif|thumb|right|165px|Of course, the Nuge made up his story on draft dodging.]]
{{cquote|"The Nuge" is a splooge.|||''Urban Dictionary''<ref>http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Ted+Nugent</ref>}}
{{cquote| Now, I refer to the famous proclamation Mr. Nugent made last month, when he said that if Obama is re-elected, it would be such an unthinkable catastrophe that he, Ted, would "either be dead or in jail".  Or as I call it, a win-win!|||[[Bill Maher]] in his "New Rules" segment on the May 25th, 2012, edition of <i>Real Time with Bill Maher</i><ref>https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:P6_exTN9WXgJ:https://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/5/26/1094940/-Bill-Maher-rips-Ted-Nugent-and-anti-Obama-nutjobs+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=ca</ref>}}

'''Ted Nugent''' {{lived|1948}} is an [[United States|American]] [[chickenhawk]], [[rock music]]ian and [[Wingnut|raving lunatic]] with a fondness for wailing lead guitar, and an insatiable appetite for "[[pedophilia|underage poontang]]"<ref>[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/larry-womack/ted-nugents-jailbait-problem_b_4840060.html Ted Nugent's Jailbait Problem]</ref><ref>[http://www.dallasnews.com/news/politics/headlines/20140217-greg-abbott-under-fire-for-allying-with-rocker-ted-nugent.ece Greg Abbott under fire for allying with rocker Ted Nugent]</ref><ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orz0zxH72K4 A Clip from ''VH1's Behind the Music''.]</ref><ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDQnsJWPu2U Still unconvinced? Have a listen.]</ref>, [[Gun nut|firearms]], [[Fun:hunting|killing things]], and [[chickenhawk|dodging the draft]]. Now all washed up — due to the death of the record industry and ''not at all'' to do with the fact that his music has steadily become more formulaic, derivative, and unlistenable with each passing year since the 1970s. Originally from Detroit, [[Michigan]], in the 2000s, Nugent often mused about running for Governor of [[Michigan]], only to decide that he's not running after all.<ref>[https://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/27/arts/television/vegans-keep-out-its-hunting-season.html "Vegans, Keep Out: It's Hunting Season"] by Danny Hakim, New York Times, 2005 September 27</ref> In true [[stopped clock]] fashion, he has converted his Michigan home into a wildlife preserve<ref>[https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2006-04-09-0604090002-story.html "Into the wild with Ted Nugent, the Oprah of hunting"] by Finn-Olaf Jones, Chicago Tribune, 2006 April 9</ref>{{efn|Albeit one that is ''private'', reserved for hunters, where the ''cheapest'' hunt, a hog hunt, will cost you $750.<ref>[https://www.tednugent.com/sunrize-safaris-hog-hunts/ "Sunrize Safaris Hog Hunts], TedNugent.com</ref>}} and is adamant about hunting being a method of procuring food as opposed to just shooting things. In 2005, Nugent moved his primary residency to Texas (close to the home of [[George W. Bush]]).<ref>[https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/65198/nugent-dumps-motor-city-for-bush-country "Nugent Dumps 'Motor City' For Bush Country"] by Billboard Staff, Billboard.com, 2004 December 27</ref> By 2018, Nugent was so wrapped up in [[Donald Trump]] style tribal politics, he was calling the state he was born in a "[[California]] shithole" and a state that didn't "even qualify as America anymore", simply because Michigan voters elected [[Democrats]] to state office.<ref>[https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/2019/07/11/ted-nugent-michigan/1705285001/ "Ted Nugent rips Michigan again, says it doesn't qualify as America anymore"] by Emma Keith, Detroit Frere Press, 2019 July 11</ref>
 
In February of 2013, [[World Net Daily]] proudly announced that the man who said "real Americans are working hard, playing hard, white motherfucking shit kickers who are independent" and that African-American rappers appearing on MTV are "big [[psychological projection|uneducated]] greasy black mongrels"<ref>http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/02/08/nugent-says-obama-has-a-racist-agenda-after-wee/192587</ref> will be gracing their website once a week with his special brand of wisdom. Ted Nugent openly said he believes some non-whites are subhuman.<ref>[http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/07/24/second-casino-cancels-ted-nugent-shows-over-his-racist-remarks/ Second casino cancels Ted Nugent shows over his ‘racist remarks’]</ref>

==Home town==
Ted Nugent is from that American success story, Detroit, [[Michigan]]. There is no truth to the claim Nugent single-handedly turned Detroit into its present wasteland. There's even less truth to the claim that lazy freeloaders on [[welfare]] are solely responsible for it, a claim Ted Nugent backs wholeheartedly.

==Music career==
In the beginning, Nugent truly was very talented, having created the riff to the song "Journey to the Center of the Mind" by his first band, the Amboy Dukes, when he was merely 19.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN2VNFpiGWo</ref> In addition, his huge and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame-worthy solo hits such as "Stranglehold", "Cat Scratch Fever" and "Wango Tango" rightly deserve their place in the pantheon of great rock and roll songs that changed music forever. However, even in the 1970s, his absolute batshit craziness was on display in certain songs such as his [[paranoid]] [[gun nut]] screed "Stormtroopin'"<ref>http://www.metrolyrics.com/stormtroopin-lyrics-ted-nugent.html</ref> and his vile [[pedophilia]] ode "Jailbait".<ref>http://www.metrolyrics.com/jailbait-lyrics-ted-nugent.html</ref> The hits dried up for him in the 1980s, largely because he stopped looking for newer and more inventive riffs, and was clearly recycling his past glories (plus he tried to sound too much like Bon Jovi). His only respite from this dry spell was when he became part of the supergroup Damn Yankees, though this is likely largely due to the songwriting and vocals of Tommy Shaw of Styx and Jack Blades of Night Ranger.

==Politics==
He's
<p align="right">far right</p>
... except when he's '''EXTREMELY MODERATE!'''<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urYGhhMOToU&list=UU1yBKRuGpC1tSM73A0ZjYjQ&index=7&feature=plcp Ted Nugent Goes Off In CBS Interview] ''YouTube''</ref> He also appeared on [[InfoWars]] to discuss gun control after the Texas High School Shooting.<ref>https://www.infowars.com/watch-live-anti-trump-gunman-shot-at-trump-golf-course/</ref> 

Unsurprisingly, he's also a lifetime member of the [[Oath Keepers]].<ref>[https://www.mlive.com/public-interest/2022/06/ted-nugent-rocker-and-lifetime-member-of-far-right-oath-keepers-endorses-kevin-rinke.html Ted Nugent, rocker and member of far-right Oath Keepers, endorses Kevin Rinke] by Simon Schuster (June 23, 2022), ''MLive''.</ref>

==Racism==
It's no surprise that the man who referred to [[Trayvon Martin]] as a "wannabe gangster" and "Skittles hoodie boy", called [[Barack Obama]] a "subhuman mongrel", and even expressed admiration for [[apartheid]] in [[South Africa]] during his 1990 "Jap Whack" tour, would harbor racist sentiments. Of course, Nugent denies this, claiming things like "I'm Rosa Parks with a Gibson" and using his [[Friend argument|love of black musicians]] to state that he's no racist.<ref>http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/08/02/nras-nugent-reacts-to-criticism-im-like-a-black/195199</ref> He also frequently plays covers of songs like Big Joe Williams' "Baby Please Don't Go," Jimi Hendrix's "Red House", Bo Diddley's "Bo Diddley" (of course), and Isaac Hayes' "Soul Man" in concert, along with his usual repertoire.<ref>http://www.allmusic.com/album/motor-city-mayhem-mw0000819882</ref> Nugent also claims to support [[Native American]] land  rights, [[Cultural appropriation|and claims that he hunts the way Plains tribes did with the buffalo]], even using this imagery in some of his albums.<ref>{{wpa|Spirit of the Wild|''Spirit of the Wild''}}</ref> Then again, several tribal casinos cancelled some of his concerts, and he has received much attention on the Internet for blaming [[gun control]] on a [[Jewish conspiracy]].

==Something Corporal Klinger never tried to get out of the Army==
According to a legend which at first seemed to be true<ref group=note>It turns out it (probably) wasn't. Damn.</ref> Nugent avoided the draft during the [[Vietnam War]] by getting a [[psychological]] deferment. He showed up at the draft board looking and acting like he was homeless and schizophrenic. He also claimed to have urinated and defecated in the pants he wore to his draft board physical. However, in 2006, he claimed he had made the story up because every rocker in the 1970s was making up their own stories about "draft dodging."<ref>[http://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/news/2015/06/03/fact-checker-ted-nugent-draft-dodging-claim-revisited/28324833/ Fact Checker: Ted Nugent draft-dodging claim revisited] by Mark Robison (Aug. 31, 2013) ''Des Moines Register''.</ref>

[[Chickenhawk|Naturally,]] he is now one of the most vocal proponents of what is popularly known as the Global [[War on Terror]].

==Onstage ranting==
On 8/24/07, ''Rolling Stone'' reported "Decked out in full-on camouflage hunting gear, Nugent wielded two machine guns while raging, "Obama, he's a piece of shit. I told him to suck on my machine gun. Hey [[Hillary Clinton|Hillary]]," he continued. "[[Misogyny|You might want to ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless bitch]]."<ref>http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2007/08/24/ted-nugent-threatens-to-kill-barack-obama-and-hillary-clinton-during-vicious-onstage-rant/</ref> [[image:defensive.gif]]

He then got incredibly offended when the Secret Service investigated him. Making threats against presidential candidates is 
'''totally''' protected speech
 a [[felony]]!

The 2013 "Black Power" tour only showed that his rants got even more unhinged, and that he'd always launch these rants before he performed "Stormtroopin'."<ref>
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/08/20/video-the-10-worst-things-nras-ted-nugent-said/195472</ref>

==Bitten in the ass==
Nugent was a [[COVID-19 denialism|COVID denialist]] until he was sickened by the disease.<ref>[https://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/article/Ted-Nugent-who-once-dismissed-COVID-19-sickened-16114630.php Ted Nugent, who once dismissed COVID-19, sickened by virus] (April 20, 2021; Updated: April 20, 2021 10:05 a.m.) ''AP'' via ''The San Francisco Chronicle''.</ref> Before the virus put a stranglehold on Nugent, Nugent frequently made social media posts during the [[COVID-19 pandemic]] stating that he would refuse to wear [[face masks]], social distance, or get the "toxic vaccine".<ref>[https://www.blabbermouth.net/news/ted-nugent-says-claim-that-masks-are-effective-at-combating-covid-19-spread-is-a-lie/ "TED NUGENT Says Claim That Masks Are Effective At Combating COVID-19 Spread Is 'A Lie'"], Blabbermouth, 2021 March 12</ref><ref>[https://metalheadzone.com/ted-nugent-warns-citizens-about-the-thing-that-might-destroy-america/ "Ted Nugent Warns Citizens about the Thing that Might Destroy America"] by Enes K., Metalhead Zone, 2020 April 24</ref> Predictably, this led to Nugent contracting the disease, which he announced on April 19, 2021. Of course, when announcing the positive test, he used racial slurs, [[anti-vaccination|cast doubt on the COVID-19 vaccine]], and praised fellow [[bullshit]] artist [[Mike Lindell]].<ref>[https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/ted-nugent-covid-19-1158483/ "Ted Nugent, Covid Denier, Now Has Covid-19"] by Kory Grow, Rolling Stone, 2021 April 20</ref>

==External links==
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j86yydt9MtY Ted Nugent doing a decent version of a George Harrison tune]. Go figure (and yes, it was in the '70s, when he still played the occasional good tune).
* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-ted-nugent-cologne-tested-on-every-goddamn-ani,4216/ "New Ted Nugent Cologne Tested On ‘Every Goddamn Animal We Could Find’"] -- a 1998 classic from ''[[The Onion]]''. Now read it and go punch a duck.

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

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Categories: 2020 election denialists, Alt-right, Anti-Catholicism, Antifeminism, Antisemites, Anti-vaccination movement, Chickenhawks, Conservative deceit, Conspiracy theorists, COVID-19 denialists, Crank magnetism, Gun nuts, Holocaust denialists, Homophobes, Internet kooks, Islamophobes, Living people, Machismo, Militia movement, Musicians, Paedophilia, Paganism, Pseudohistory promoters, Pseudoscience promoters, Racists, Right-wing activists, Sexists, Survivalism, Tea Party, Texas, Transphobes