Kim Il-sung

{{sources needed}}
[[File:Kim_Il_Song_Portrait.jpg|thumb|165px|What he probably thought he looked like.]]{{communism|1}}
[[George Orwell#"Big Brother" / "Thought Police"|Eternal President Great Leader]] 
 King
 '''Kim Il "Crazypants" Sung''' (Korean: 김일성), originally born '''Kim Sŏng-ju''' (김성주) {{lived|15 April 1912|8 July 1994}} [[Bullshit|is the great military leader]] who [[deceit|single-handedly]] conquered the [[Japan]]ese with his bare hands and founded the glorious [[Totalitarianism|Democratic]] [[Dictator|People’s]] [[Nepotism president|Republic]] of [[North Korea|Korea]] and the inventor of the "[[Juche]]" 
cult
 ideology,<ref>''Juche! The Speeches and Writings of Kim Il Sung'' by Kim Il Sung (1972) Grossman. ISBN 067041011X.</ref> a bizarre variant on [[Stalinism]] that borders on unintentional self-parody, including declaring Kim-il Sung to be "Eternal President" of North Korea, effectively making the nation a "necrocracy".

According to official North Korean [[mythology]], Kim Il Sung, the "Great Leader," is [[Personality cult|immortal, arose from the grave to be with us forever, and lives in the hearts of every Korean, who all bubble over with intense love and adoration toward Him, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera]]. According to everyone else, he was the eldest son of a Christian Japanese Independence activist, who decided to move to the northeast of [[China]] (known as Manchuria), where Kim learned Chinese and became interested in [[communism]]. After the Mukden Incident (a staged train bombing used as a pretext for the invasion of Manchuria), Kim was once again under Japanese rule. Later, Sung decided to join the Anti-Japanese United Army, becoming a failed [[War#Guerrila war|guerrilla]] leader who spent much of [[World War II]] unsuccessfully attempting to free Korea from the iron fist of the Japanese so it could be seized by the iron fist of Kim Il Sung instead. He eventually gave up and fled to [[Siberia]], where he remained until the [[Soviet Union]] selected him to lead their newly organized North Korean [[puppet state|puppet government]]. At the time, he had not actually lived in Korea for 26 years, and had not been involved in the country's politics or the resistance against the Japanese for at least five years. His primary historical accomplishment involved starting a [[Korean War|war of conquest]] that nearly succeeded before an intervention that left his entire country occupied, followed by starting a precedent for the next 60+ years, China intervening and the border mostly going back to where it was in the first place.

According to Juche philosophy, Kim Il Sung was [[No True Scotsman|not Stalinist]] and this was just anti-communist propaganda performed by the [[United States]] and pro-[[Capitalism|capitalist]] mass media, like [[CNN]], [[Fox]], [[The Walt Disney Company|Disney]], [[Microsoft]], and [[Wikipedia]], but actually Kim Il Sung had based upon the Juche Idea copy-pasting some concepts extracted from [[Leon Trotsky]] and his theory of "Permanent Revolution", and added to this some [[Philosophy|philosophical]] concepts extracted from [[Lao Tzu]] and his [[Taoism]], a claim so absurd given Kim's extreme isolationism and pervasive nationalism that it doesn't even merit serious consideration. He created an extremely totalitarian [[monarchy]] in North Korea which had roughly as much to do with [[Marxism]] as botany has to do with blacksmithing.

==See also==
*[[Kim Jong-il]], his batshit crazy son
*[[Kim Jong-un]], his even crazier grandson

==References==
{{reflist}}
{{stub|Communism}}
[[Category:Anti-Western]]
[[Category:Asian politicians]]
[[Category:Atheists]]
[[Category:Authoritarianism]]
[[Category:Authors]]
[[Category:Cold War]]
[[Category:Crimes against humanity]]
[[Category:Cult leaders]]
[[Category:Dictators]]
[[Category:Irredentists]]
[[Category:Korea]]
[[Category:Left-wing nationalism]]
[[Category:Military]]
[[Category:North Korea]]
[[Category:Propagandists]]
[[Category:Racists]]
[[Category:Socialists]]
[[Category:Shysters]]
[[Category:Totalitarianism]]
[[Category:World War II]]

Categories: Anti-Western, Asian politicians, Atheists, Authoritarianism, Authors, Cold War, Crimes against humanity, Cult leaders, Dictators, Irredentists, Korea, Left-wing nationalism, Military, North Korea, Propagandists, Racists, Socialists, Shysters, Totalitarianism, World War II