Meivazhi

[[File:Meivazhi Master.jpg|thumb|right|165px|Meivazhi Salai Andavargal]]
{{religion}}
'''Meivazhi''' (Tamil: '''மெய்வழி Meyvaḻi'''), meaning 'the True Path', is a syncretic [[Monotheism|monotheistic religion]] started in 1900 in Tamil Nadu, [[India]]. It teaches that the 'real' purpose of religion is to bring [[humans]] closer to [[God]] and that all religions are essentially the same, having oneness which is where it gets its name. Like many other religions that came before it, it focuses on attaining its own brand of 'enlightenment' and conquer [[death]] by attaining [[Heaven]], through the teachings of Meivazhi Salai Andavargal (Tamil: மெய்வழி சாலை ஆண்டவர்கள் meyvaḻi cālai āṇṭavarkaḷ) who is the last incarnation of God mentioned by all religious books and texts. Its followers all live in a remote village roughly three hours away from Madurai, India called Meivazhi Salai. Anyone can practice Meivazhi regardless of background, [[gender]], or creed.<ref name="Madurai">[https://archive.ph/20150423180728/http://www.maduraimessenger.org/printed-version/2014/april/spirituality/#selection-195.93-195.114 Madurai Messenger, retrieved from Archive.ph on 10/4/2019 9:28pm HST]</ref><ref>[https://www.vikatan.com/lifestyle/miscellaneous/156991-meivazhi-salai-village-which-spreads-true-equality Vikatan.com, accessed 10/4/2019, 10:08pm HST]</ref>

==Beliefs==

The creation story of Meivazhi reads like a bootleg, discount origin story taken straight out of [[Genesis]] but is somehow even weirder and crazier.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20131203153646/http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/tp-tamilnadu/meivazhi-sabha-releases-book/article3271334.ece Wayback Machine/The Hindu.com, accessed 10/4/2019, 10:14pm, HST]</ref> Man is an astral being originally created by God in Heaven along with all the other [[angels]]; Oh, and [[Satan]] is there too. This time around Satan created a fruit that God warned Man not to eat because it would curse him with being both good and [[evil]], and evil is bad. After not using curiosity to justify man's power over women, God banned Man from the Discord server for hurting his feelings.

After Man was put in time-out on Earth, God told him he had to get in touch with his feelings and be a good boy so he could go back to Heaven, otherwise he had to stay. Satan was shadow-banned from [[Twitter]] which Satan thought was [[bullshit]] so he proceeded to corrupt Mankind so he would stay banned too. Also he has invisibility powers… apparently.

At first Man was on good terms with the G-man and this was called [[Yuga|Satya Yuga]] ("First Age").<ref>[https://books.google.com/books?id=YMlyid2aksEC&pg=PA81&dq=satya+yuga&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi1-8avycPVAhWKQ48KHVvzAdYQ6AEIMDAC#v=onepage&q=satya%20yuga&f=false accessed 10/4/2019, 10:24pm HST]</ref> But then in the [[Yuga|Dvapara Yuga]] ("Third Age"), Man straight up forgot about God, allowing Satan to corrupt them. So Man began to start wondering about when the newest iPhone would come out as he became more and more [[materialist]]ic and wordly.

God, failing to move on with the times, decided that them Man-lennials didn't need to worry about the newest iPhone, and that worldliness was bad. So he came up with the greatest idea ever! Why don't me and my angel crew just take on avatars and start a bunch of different religions and maybe one of them will take off and they'll all love me again! How could this possibly backfire?

It totally backfired in God's face when Satan pranked God by turning all the different religions against each other. Of course.

Some angels taking human form were [[torture]]d and [[Crucifiction|crucified]] and the Angels were like, "Woah these people are fucking crazy. I'm not fucking with them." And none of them had the balls to come down and help the 'wise ape' learn about the true God, starting what is called the [[Kali Yuga]]. Then God got pissed at Satan and blew up his planet (because he apparently has one (Meivazhi Satan is so much more badass than Christian Satan) and banished him to [[Hell]], which suddenly exists now. After that God decided to visit Man in avatar form one final time, marking the [[Yuga|Kalki Yuga]] (a.k.a., the present).

Our story shifts to Salai Aandavargal, born in 1857 in India, who got fed up with false [[guru]]s pretending to be saints for selfish reasons like money.<ref name ="angelfire">[http://www.angelfire.com/ms/Salai/MsaHist.html accessed 10/4/2019, 10:17pm HST]</ref> Then he met a totally not fake guru named Shri Thanigai Mani Piran who was rumored to be over 600-years old and revealed to Salai his 'true form'.<ref name="Vikatan"/> Then he quit his job and abandoned his wife and children to attain spiritual enlightenment.<ref name ="Keetru"/> After traveling for a while, Salai's guru 
got bored with his new lover and needed an out so he
 told him to watch a flock of [[sheep]] for a year.<ref name ="angelfire"/> Then after that Salai came back and his guru was like, "Idk, go [[Meditation|meditate]] in a cave on that hill over there for a couple years." which he did living only on prickly pears, an invasive type of cactus.<ref name ="angelfire"/> During this time he acquired 'divine symbols' in his hand, one of which was an upside down moon which is now the symbol of the religion. After Salai couldn't take a hint [[Fasting|starving himself]] alone in a cave for many years,<ref name="Vikatan"/> his guru was like, "Oh. You're not de- I mean, you're not dead! You're now fully endowed with wit and power and now you must go commence your holy mission… alone. Then Salai started preaching and took a different wife, his old wife and children be damned, 'per his guru's wish' 
so his guru could be rid of him
.

'It is claimed' that the reason Salai is the one true master and all those other gurus are fakes is because Salai doesn't need to [[sleep]], has [[Breatharianism|'practically' overcome the need for food]], and never breathes out of his nostrils.<ref name="Madurai"/><ref name ="Keetru"/> Do you know somebody who only breathes out of his mouth? Yeah, I didn't think so. This guy is legit.

Salai then began to teach that all religions are the same, and that they should remember their forgotten origins and worship God. Worshiping His statues or photos (maybe Salai is His avatar now?) is very bad. Also materialism is bad too.

Also if you believe in God your body doesn't decompose.<ref name="Madurai"/> Because why stop at zombie [[Jesus]]?

Oh, and the world is apparently going to end in 2077. Marketing said having a limited time offer would boost sales.<ref>[https://www.quora.com/How-can-so-many-religious-people-think-that-only-their-religion-is-the-true-and-best-religion Answer by Salai Lokesh on Quora, accessed 10/4/2019, 10:34pm HST]</ref>

==The holy shrine and dress code==
Meivazhi has two [[holy]] shrines called 'ashrams' with a dress code if you want to enter. Men who have received the highest level of spiritual teaching wear saffron shirts and traditional [[Hindu]] ''panchakacham'' trousers. Other men wear white turbans and clothes other than saffron, and in dark colours. Women who have received the highest level of spiritual teaching wear saris and cover their head with a saffron scarf, while other women cover their head with the end of the saris.<ref name="Madurai"/>

==Controversies==
Their holy temple originally existed on land in Madurai, India but then the lands were acquired by the British Government and they were handsomely compensated in [[gold]] ornaments and jewels. Later in 1968, when the Indian Government implemented the Gold (Control) Act, designed to control sale and possession of gold, it is believed by officials that Salai gave these jewels and gold to some of his trusted followers and hid them in various locations illegally. During the 1970s most of the gold and ornaments were seized from the temples. Of course Salai's followers all maintain that all the gold and jewels were just mere gifts from their kind-hearted leader and that they only hid them so that Man wouldn't be tempted to seize what is rightfully God's.<ref>[https://www.indiatoday.in/magazine/crime/story/19760515-diamonds-and-gold-seized-from-meivazhisalai-ashram-in-tamil-nadu-819145-2015-04-04 India Today, retrieved on 10/4/2019, 9:28pm HST]</ref><ref name ="Keetru">[http://www.keetru.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=17294:2011-11-08-03-00-33&catid=38:tamilnadu&Itemid=121 Keetru.com, retrieved on 10/4/2019, 9:51 HST]</ref><ref>[https://www.business-standard.com/article/opinion/will-gold-duty-hike-encourage-smuggling-112040400023_1.html Business Standard, retrieved on 10/4/2019, 9:28pm HST]</ref><ref name="Madurai"/>

==Practices and rituals==
Followers of Meivazhi practice Vanakkam which means something like, "Hello God". The [[prayer]]/ritual schedule is around the clock and it goes like this:
#4:00am is prayer time
#4:30am is prayer time
#7:00am; prayer time
#12:00pm; prayer time
#6:00pm; prayer time
#9:00pm; you guessed it, prayer time
#10:00pm; prayer time
#1:30am; no you can't go to sleep
#2:00am; I said pray damn it.
#3:00am; pray bitch
#4:00am; okay I guess you're done. Have a good night! God bless. See you in 30 minutes.

The reason they have a jacked-up sleep schedule is because they believe that sleep is the 'cousin of death' and in order to obtain saint status, you gotta conquer sleep and slumber.<ref name="Madurai"/> Never mind the adult body has been shown to require at least 6-7 hours of sleep daily.<ref>[https://www.sleepfoundation.org/press-release/national-sleep-foundation-recommends-new-sleep-times National Sleep Foundation, retrieved 10/4/2019, 9:46pm HST]</ref><ref>[https://academic.oup.com/sleep/article/38/6/843/2416939/ University of Oxford, retrieved 10/4/2019, 9:46pm HST]</ref>

Also they have a community toilet which they trek over a kilometer to get to.<ref name ="Deccan"/>

==Rules==
No [[alcohol]], [[smoking]], or [[gambling]]. No watching movies or eating mutton. Very little electricity use is permitted,<ref name ="Deccan">[https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_Q7KTGY-IGsVkViRUo0VTFMZ00/edit the Deccan Chronicle, retrieved on 10/4/2019, 10:00pm HST]</ref>, so presumably that makes them the Indian version of the [[Amish]]. Also you can't be lazy, you have to have an active lifestyle.<ref name="Madurai"/><ref name="Vikatan">[https://www.vikatan.com/spiritual/temples/62956-meyvazhi-religion-it-is-confluence-of-religions Vikatan.com, retrieved on 10/4/2019, 10:04pm HST]</ref>

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

[[Category:Eastern religions]]
[[Category:India]]
[[Category:Religions]]

Categories: Eastern religions, India, Religions