One of the good ones

{{race}}
{{cquote|And then they come, 80 million worthy Germans, and each one has his decent Jew. Of course the others are vermin, but this one is an A-1 Jew.|||[[Heinrich Himmler]]<ref>[https://archive.org/details/nt-war-criminals-vol-vii/NT_war-criminals_Vol-XIII/page/323/mode/2up?q=%22a-1%22 ''Trials of War Criminals Before the Nuernberg Military Tribunals'', Volume XIII: The Ministries Case] (1945) United States Government Printing Office.</ref>{{rp|323}}}}
"'''One of the good ones'''" is a phrase that encapsulates the idea of comparing an individual favorably to the other people in their demographic, with said demographic being based on [[gender]], race/ethnicity, [[sexual orientation]], [[transgender]] status, class, [[religion]] etc. Depending on whether this phrase (or a variation such as "not like the others") is applied to oneself or another person, it can come across either as [[Uncle Tom|internalized discrimination]] or as a discriminatory backhanded compliment. 

==You're better than the others==
{{cquote|…and my farmer neighbor, who happens to be a white man, said to me, "Oh, you're not black, you're just a neighbor." I go, "I most certainly ''am'' black." But that was his way of saying, "you're not like what I think other black people are."|||[[Oprah Winfrey]]<ref group=note>This quote comes from a public discussion Oprah had with anti-racist educator [[Jane Elliott]] on race. [https://amara.org/el/videos/cQIS2mq4xvM9/en/805995/1422048/ This] is a transcript from a now-deleted YouTube video of the discussion.</ref>}}

This form is used to superficially compliment an individual from an oppressed group on being "different" or "superior" to what the speaker would expect from that group. This is unlikely to be appreciated, as it only serves to insult the demographic in question and entrench harmful [[stereotypes]] about it, suggesting that the demographic described is inferior by default. Such statements are sometimes made out of genuine ignorance, but this does not make them any less harmful. 

This phenomenon is particularly prominent in the history of racial relations. Frank Chin, Asian American playwright, opined that "Colored minorities in white reality are stereotypes", with the "bad" stereotype being defined as such because it cannot be controlled by whites, and the "good" stereotype being tractable.<ref name=rl>Chin, Frank and Chan, Jeffery Paul. [https://chintalks.blogspot.com/2008/08/racist-love.html Racist Love], In: ''Seeing Through Shuck''. Ballantine Books, 1972.</ref> The [[antisemitism|antisemitic]] [[H. P. Lovecraft]] considered his [[Judaism|Jewish]] wife "well assimilated",<ref>Mieville, China. [https://archive.org/details/atmountainsofmad00love_0 Introduction]. ''At the Mountains of Madness'', The Random House Publishing Group, 2005.</ref> a [[CIA]] document described [[Che Guevara]] as "fairly intellectual for a Latino",<ref>Steel, Mark. [https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/mark-steel/mark-steel-however-debased-the-image-ches-legend-lives-on-396445.html Mark Steel: However debased the image, Che's legend lives on]. ''The Independent'', October 10, 2007.</ref> and [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] lauded certain Jews as {{wpl|Honorary Aryans||.}} More recently, [[Ann Coulter]], describing black [[Republicans]], stated that "our blacks are so much better than their blacks",<ref>Pierre, Robert E. [https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/therootdc/post/ann-coulter-our-blacks-are-so-much-better-than-their-blacks/2011/11/01/gIQAA0IZcM_blog.html Ann Coulter: ‘Our blacks are so much better than their blacks’]. ''The Washington Post'', November 1, 2011.</ref> and during his presidential campaign, [[Donald Trump]] offered to exempt Sadiq Khan, first Muslim Mayor of London, from his [[Muslim]] ban; this offer was unsurprisingly not appreciated.<ref>Elgot, Jessica. [https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/may/10/sadiq-khan-i-dont-want-ignorant-donald-trump-to-make-me-an-exception Sadiq Khan: I don't want exemption from 'ignorant' Trump's Muslim ban]. ''The Guardian'', May 10, 2016.</ref>

==Please respect me, I'm not stereotypical!==
{{main|Respectability politics}} 
In a manifestation of [[respectability politics]], members of oppressed demographics may try to single themselves out as being "normal" and "one of the good ones", effectively [[Uncle Tom|sucking up to the privileged class]]. They may even see themselves as pushing back against the harmful stereotypes, but often what they are actually doing is perpetuating those stereotypes by [[Cringe culture|emphasizing them as being bad and undesirable]].<ref>[[Dan Savage|Savage, Dan]]. [http://www.thestranger.com/slog/2017/02/20/24881934/milo-yiannopoulos-girls-are-in-danger-when-adult-trans-women-use-public-toilets-but-13-year-old-boys-can-benefit-from-giving-head-to-adult-ma Milo Yiannopoulos: Girls Are In Danger When Adult Trans Women Use Public Toilets But 13-Year-Old Boys Can Benefit From Giving Head To Adult Males]. ''The Stranger'', February 20, 2017.</ref> This type of thinking originates from [[Uncle Tom|internalized discrimination and self-hatred]], and can affect some women, people of color, and [[gay]] and transgender people. 

This has been the subject of parodies, such as the [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/other-girls-sempai-and-normal-chan-creamsicle "Other Girls Vs. Me"] memes and their spinoffs.

==Only the good ones==
{{main|No True Scotsman}}
The inverse of "Please respect me, I'm not stereotypical!" is that, particularly among oppressed demographics that are subject to [[gatekeeping]], "One of the good ones" can quickly, via the process of [[No True Scotsman]], become an assertion that ''only'' "the good ones" count as members of that group.

A common claim in [[Trans-exclusionary radical feminism|TERF]] rhetoric is that they have no problem with "genuine transsexuals", by which they invariably mean the handful of trans people who are politically aligned with them, thereby implying that the trans people who displease them are not "really trans". They will often dismiss other trans people as "transtrenders", or as "trans activists" (as if that's mutually exclusive with being a genuine transsexual). Thus, the TERF claims, "I can't be transphobic, because the people I hate aren't really trans." This is what ultimately led to ''The Times'' creating the headline of "Trans community rallies to defence of threatened professor [[Kathleen Stock]]"<ref>Gibbons, Katie. [https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/trans-community-rallies-to-defence-of-threatened-professor-kathleen-stock-mvbklz078 Trans community rallies to defence of threatened professor Kathleen Stock], ''The Times'', October 12, 2021.</ref>. Many more trans people emphatically did not, but the so-called "trans community" alluded to in the headline was [[Cherry picking|cherry picked]] from "the good ones".

Elsewhere, this can be seen in the 2015 incident where a man shouted, "You ain't no Muslim, bruv!" at a knife-attacker,<ref>The Guardian Staff. [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/dec/13/you-aint-no-muslim-bruv-man-leytonstone-denounces-extremism Man who said 'You ain't no Muslim, bruv' after Leytonstone attack denounces extremism]. ''[[The Guardian]]'', December 13, 2015.</ref> a statement that was later repeated by then-UK-Prime-Minister [[David Cameron]]. While one can applaud the ''intent'' of attempting to separate Muslims from stereotypes of violence, this, too, is a form of gatekeeping: It is discriminatory to place such conditionality on membership of an oppressed demographic when one would not place the same conditionality on membership of a demographic that is not oppressed.

==One of the ''good'' privileged folk== 
{{cquote|Mainstream dictionary definitions reduce racism to individual racial prejudice and the intentional actions that result. The people that commit these intentional acts are deemed bad, and those that don’t are good. If we are against racism and unaware of committing racist acts, we can’t be racist; racism and being a good person have become mutually exclusive. But this definition does little to explain how racial hierarchies are consistently reproduced.|||Robin DiAngelo<ref>DiAngelo, Robin. [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-its-so-hard-to-talk-to-white-people-about-racism_b_7183710 Why It’s So Hard to Talk to White People About Racism]. ''[[The Huffington Post]]'', April 30, 2015.</ref>}}
{{see also|Not all}}
On the other side of the coin, the idea of being "one of the good ones" is also used as a defensive mechanism by members of the "privileged" demographic, as a way to try to distance themselves from the oppression that is associated with this demographic. In a general form, this can often be a motivation behind self-identifying as a (male/white/straight) "ally". The central fallacy here is that one cannot be an "ally" or "one of the good ones" simply by proclaiming it<ref>Murphy, Timothy. [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ally-is-action-not-an-identity_b_8536518 Ally Is Action, Not an Identity]. ''The Huffington Post'', December 11, 2015.</ref> — only by actually putting in the work and self-reflection.

This is the type of thinking behind cries of "[[not all]] men" from guys who take generalized criticisms of men's behaviour toward women personally and are desperate to communicate that they ''individually'' do not behave like that;<ref>Zuckerberg, Donna. "Arms and the Manosphere". ''[https://books.google.com.au/books?id=Q91qDwAAQBAJ Not All Dead White Men: Classics and Misogyny in the Digital Age]''. Harvard University Press, 2018.</ref> it is also a prime driver of {{wpl|nice guy}} syndrome and all that that entails. Men who self-identify as [[feminists]] have to be careful not to fall into the trap of being motivated primarily by a desire to be ''seen'' as "one of the good ones".<ref>Fabello, Melissa A. and Khan, Aaminah. [https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/beware-these-10-types-of-feminist-men/ Beware These 10 Types of Feminist Men]. ''The Body is Not an Apology'', December 16, 2018.</ref>

This thinking also runs rampant in the context of racism and anti-racism activism, wherein white people are very keen to be seen as "allies" and to be safe from accusations of being racist. Joan Olsson described many manifestations of this in her paper, "Detour spotting for white anti-racists",<ref>Olsson, Joan. [https://www.racialequitytools.org/resourcefiles/olson.pdf Detour spotting for white anti-racists]. 1997.</ref> such as [[colorblind]]ness, [[friend argument]]s etc. At its most pathologically extreme, this mindset can result in such cases as [[Rachel Dolezal]]. 

Similarly, in the sphere of [[LGBT]] relations, some self-proclaimed "allies" can fall into the trap of being overly concerned with their self-image as a good person, and fearful of being thought [[homophobia|homophobic]] or [[transphobia|transphobic]].<ref>Zane, Zachary. [https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/should-straight-people-attend-lgbtq-pride-666076/ Should Straight People Attend LGBTQ Pride?]. ''Rolling Stone'', June 1, 2019.</ref>

==See also==
*[[Colorblind]]
*[[Clarence Thomas]]
*[[Friend argument]]
*[[I'm not prejudiced, but...]]
*[[Not all]]
*[[Truscum#Targeting of "transtrenders"|Transtrenders]]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

[[Category:Fallacies]] 
[[Category:Internalized discrimination]]
[[Category:Social justice]]
[[Category:Language]]

Categories: Fallacies, Internalized discrimination, Social justice, Language