Examples of God personally killing people

[[File:SistineGod.jpg|thumb|165px|right|SMITE! is right!]]{{biblenav}}
{{bronze}}{{cquote|Therefore thus saith the Lord God of Israel, Behold, I am bringing such evil upon [[Jerusalem]] and Judah, that whosoever heareth of it, both his ears shall tingle.|||{{bible|2 Kings|21|12}}}}
'''[[God]]''' is  recorded in the [[Bible]] as having personally killed a large number of people.<ref group=note>Strictly speaking, some entity being addressed as "God" whose existence cannot be independently established, has been fast-tracking people to their [[afterlife]] destinations due to the fact that from the point of view of the "immortal God", death is simply moving a [[soul]] from life to the afterlife where it can be sorted.  And then there is the problem of where your afterlife will take you based on [[Heresy|different]] interpretations of the [[Bible]].  Some might not even need to spend time in [[Hell]] or the [[Purgatory]] if [[Sola fides]] is their thing.</ref> While the majority of the divine assassinations certainly took place during God's time as the notoriously vengeful deity in the [[Old Testament]], a few instances are also recorded in the (just slightly) more peaceful [[New Testament]]. 

This page lists people personally assassinated by His hand<ref group=note>Together with [[Jesus]]' and the [[Holy Spirit]]'s ones if you're one of those who interpret verses as {{bible|Genesis|1|26}} as proving that the [[Trinity]] were around in the Old Testament. Be careful what you wish for as you may get it.</ref> or by His [[Angel|non-human minions]]; however, it is not entirely complete.  It also does not include the vastly greater number of people which the Bible maintains were killed at His instruction, or in His name throughout recorded [[history]], though those count towards his tally.

==Old Testament killings by God==
{{cquote|If the Old Testament had been marketed as a ''horror'' story — like a Stephen King novel — we might think differently about it. We applaud King's talent (if not the actions of his characters). Those who read his belief-suspending books can appreciate the ''literary'' value of that genre. We wink as we wince. We ''could'' make allowances for the crude (or even {{wpl|Camp_(style)|camp}}) writing style of the Old Testament authors if we thought ''their'' aim was [[Poe's_Law|to entertain by shocking]]. But the ''real'' horror story — the one that made [[Nietzsche]] say he needed to put on gloves before reading it — is that those writers were '''not pretending'''. And ''neither'' were the readers. Today, anyone who takes the Old Testament seriously — and does not wink or wince at the gratuitous splattering of blood — is a troubled person.|||Former evangelical pastor {{wpl|Dan Barker||,}} ''God: The Most Unpleasant Character in All Fiction''<ref>''God: The Most Unpleasant Character in All Fiction'' Audiobook version: Chapter 11, at 50 minutes and 30 seconds in.</ref>}}
The God of the Old Testament had a [[murder|very simple approach]] to [[education]] and [[law]]. In {{bible|Genesis|9|1}}, God asked that [[Noah]] and [[Incest|his kin]] be "[[sex|be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth]]." Frenzied reproduction was certainly a good idea when trying to avoid extinction at the hands of an angry God, who saw death as a suitable chastisement for even the most trivial of offences.
<!-- This list follows the order of the books in the OT. It'd be nice if future entries followed the same convention -->
{| class="wikitable" border="1" style="width:100%;"
|-
! style="width:20%;" | Fatalities
! style="width:30%;" | Crime
! style="width:20%;" | Method used
! style="width:30%;" | Biblical reference
|-
| The "Flood". 20 million (estimated).
| People being [[evil|"wicked"]] '''The most horrible instance of crimes against humanity known as Collective Punishment, many more that came and will (prophesied) come.'''
| [[Global Flood|Drowning]].
| {{bible|Genesis|6|7}} 
|-
| The cities of [[Sodom and Gomorrah]] (population of Sodom estimated to be 600-1200, Gomorrah presumably would be similar).
| '''According to Genesis:''' Being evil and wanting to [[rape]] two [[angels]] (who visited Sodom in the form of men).<br>'''According to Ezekiel (depending on translation):''' Being prideful (arrogant), overfed and unconcerned (having an abundance of idleness); neglecting the poor and needy; being haughty and committing abominations before God<ref group=note>Does this remind you of anyone ?</ref>. 

The passage suggests that a mob were interested in homosexual rape in respect of the angels. Lot — the only example of a good man in the city — offered them his virgin daughters instead, but the mob were not interested.

| Burnt to death by fire and a rain of burning sulfur.
| {{bible|Genesis|19|4}}-5 <br> {{bible|Ezekiel|16|46}}-47 (specifically {{bible|Ezekiel|16|49}}-50)
|-
| [[Lot]]’s wife.
| Pausing to look back at the spectacle of God destroying entire cities, including her own residence and all her possessions, in a massive conflagration of fire and brimstone (in direct contravention of God's weird order not to do so. Really, who wouldn't check it out?).
| Transformed into a pillar of salt.
| {{bible|Genesis|19|26}} 
|-
| Er, the firstborn of Judah.
| Being "wicked in the sight of the Lord"
| Not specified
| {{bible|Genesis|38|7}} 
|-
| Onan (Er’s brother and apparent inventor of [[onanism]]).
| Disobeying God's orders to impregnate his dead brother's wife (or “[[fun:spilling his seed|spilling his seed]]”).
| Not specified
| {{bible|Genesis|38|9}}-10 ''(…Unlucky family…)''
|-
| People in fields.
| Being outside when God decided to show his strength. God hardened [[Pharaoh]]'s heart so he refused to let the Israelites go. '''Collective Punishment'''
| Hail
| {{bible|Exodus|9|22}}-26
|-
| The firstborn of [[Egypt]].
| Being firstborn when God decided to show his strength. God hardened Pharaoh's heart so he refused to let the Israelites go. '''Collective Punishment'''
| The Angel of Death.
| {{bible|Exodus|12|29}} ''(Rather tough on the kids who really had nothing to do with it. Also God apparently [[Omniscience|didn*t know]] where to find them, so he needed people to mark their doors;''
|-
| The Egyptian army.
| Refusing to disobey orders to pursue the Israelites fleeing through the Red Sea, which was parted with walls of water on both sides of the path.
| Drowned when the seawater returned.
| {{bible|Exodus|14|28}} ''(God kills you or the boss kills you… those poor bastards were screwed either way.)''
|-
| Nadab and Abihu, sons of Aaron.
| Offering strange fire before the Lord.
| Burnt to death
| {{bible|Leviticus|10|1}}-3 ''(If you don't get the ritual right, then death is the result.)''
|-
| Undisclosed number of [[Israel]]ites.
| Complaining against God '''Likely Collective Punishment'''
| Fire
| {{bible|Numbers|11|1}}-3 
|-
| Undisclosed number of Israelites.
| Complaining about the food and wanting to go back to Egypt for an easier life.''' Another Cruel Collective Punishment''' 
| Plague
| {{bible|Numbers|11|4}}-35 ''(Step aside Stalin, Castro, Mao, The Kim family, probably Trump. Reminds you of dictators intimidating dissenters, punishing them, or sending to reeducation camps after complaining about their rationed lack of food and life necessities that were abundant and affordable before the regime took over. As if quashing dissent and "misinformation" is not already bad enough, you really had to punish the sheeple who said nothing?)''
|-
| Ten scouts sent to explore the promised land.
| Spreading bad reports about this land containing giants, and being too difficult to conquer.
| Plague
| {{bible|Numbers|14|36}}-38 ''(If you don't give the answer the boss wants, then you're in big trouble.)''<ref group=note>Though this punishment was also because the scouts lied in an effort to avoid a war they might die in.</ref>
|-
| Korah, Dathan, Abiram, and their respective families.
| Claiming to be as holy as [[Moses]] and Aaron.
| The earth opened up and swallowed them - burying them alive.
| {{bible|Numbers|16|27}}-32, which implies the children were killed, but {{bible|Numbers|26|11}} states Korah's children survived.
|-
| 250 Israelites.
| Followers of Korah (see above)
| Burnt to death by fire from God.
| {{bible|Numbers|16|35}} 
|-
| 14,700 Israelites.
| Complaining about the previous two loving assassinations concerning Korah. 
| Plague
| {{bible|Numbers|16|49}} ''(The management thanks you for your feedback. You will now be escorted to the afterlife. I'm afraid they won't be joining us for the rest of our lives)''
|-
| Undisclosed number of Israelites.
| Despairing, and complaining about the quality of bread.
| Being bitten to death by divinely summoned ''fiery [[snake|serpents]]'', although casting a bronze snake and looking upon it would prevent them from dying.
| {{bible|Numbers|21|4}}
|-
| 24,000 Israelites.
| [[Fornication|Sexual immorality]] with Moabite women and worshiping [[Baal]].
| Plague.
| {{bible|Numbers|25|9}} ''(Proving once more that despite God being obviously real and very jealous, Israelites would worship a sandwich if Moses so much as popped out to buy a newspaper.)''
|-
| Entire Israelite army.
| Unclear (possibly to prevent them from waging war on the children of Lot).
| Not specified
| {{bible|Deuteronomy|2|14}}-16
|-
| Undisclosed number of Ammorites.
| Waging war against Israel, trying to protect themselves and their families from the holy slaughter that the Israelites regularly inflicted on their enemies
| Sending hailstones from [[Heaven]] '''(Collective Punishment)'''
| {{bible|Joshua|10|10}}-11
|-
| Either 70 or 50,070 Philistines (dependent on how the [[Biblical literalism|inerrant Bible]] is translated. The original Hebrew text literally says, "[God] killed of the people 70 men, 50,000 men..." so the language is confusing even at the source).
| Looking into the [[Ark of the Covenant]] (Like the ending of ''Indiana Jones: Raiders of The Lost Ark''). 
| Not specified
| {{bible|1 Samuel|6|19}} ''(You would have thought the (50,0)70th Philistine would have more sense than to climb a mountain of (50,0)69 bodies and look into a box)''
|-
| Nabal.
| David refrained from murdering Nabal's servants or stealing from him. He expected his kindness to be repaid in the form of gifts from Nabal, but Nabal declined. God killed Nabal before David had the chance to go "avenging thyself with thine own hand."
| Not specified
| {{bible|1 Samuel|25|38}} ''(This was quite convenient, as David, an avid collector of wives, got to marry Nabal's wife who was quite hot.)''
|-
| Uzzah.
| Touching the Ark while trying to prevent it from tipping over.
| Not specified.
| {{bible|2 Samuel|6|6}}-7 ''(Which seems grossly unfair — should he have just let it fall to the ground and 
be broken
 have the contents fall out? Looking at the contents that fell out are also punishable by death. Kind of a [[Catch-22]] situation. In doing so, he saved the lives of those around him. Wouldn't that have made him a hero?)''
|-
| [[David]] and Bathsheba's baby boy.
| None. The baby was killed in order to punish David for his [[adultery]] with Bathsheba and subsequently arranging the death of her husband Uriah.
| Infected with a disease
| {{bible|2 Samuel|12|14}}-18 ''(The life of a baby is sacred, as explained by Christians, but it's worth squat when God is angry with the parents, even if the baby had no fault of his own.)''
|-
| 70,000 assorted Israelites.
| Inspired by either God, or perhaps [[Satan]] — the Bible is a tad unclear — David took a census of his lands and people.
| Plague
| {{bible|2 Samuel|24|13}}, despite being told to by God in {{bible|2 Samuel|24|1}}. (Unless you read {{bible|1 Chronicles|21|1}}, where [[Didit fallacy#Satandidit|the devil did it]].)
|-
| An unnamed prophet.
| The prophet had been told by God to not eat bread, but another guy claimed he too was a prophet, and that God had commanded him to bring the prophet home for some food.
| Eaten by lions
| {{bible|1 Kings|13|1}}-24 ''(That’s what happens when you follow the advice of [[Jerusalem syndrome|self-proclaimed]] [[prophets]].)''
|-
| Jeroboam's son.
| None. Child killed to punish Jeroboam, to save him from a massacre God was planning for the rest of Jeroboam's family, and possibly also as a sign used to confirm a prophecy.
| Not specified. Died in his mother's arms.'''(Familial Collective Punishment)'''
| {{bible|1 Kings|14|10}}-18 ''(God euthanizes a child to save him from the terrors of… His own wrath?)''
|-
| An unnamed man.
| Refusal to strike a prophet when ordered to do so by the prophet in question.
| Killed by a lion (God really enjoys using Lions in [[Books of Kings|Kings]]).
| {{bible|1 Kings|20|35}}-36 ''(Weird or what?)''
|-
| King Ahaziah.
| Seeking medical advice from a rival god, and Baal worship.
| Died in bed while recovering from an earlier fall.
| {{bible|1 Kings|22|51}} and {{bible|2 Kings|1|16}} ''(Baal must have been pretty good to compete with Yahweh: the God who would incinerate your children.)''
|-
| 102 soldiers.
| Being impolite to Elijah and serving King Ahziah. (Although they would have attempted to remove Elijah by force/kill him for not obeying Ahaziah had God not intervened.) 
| Burnt to death.
| {{bible|2 Kings|1|9}}-12 ''(This verse is worth reading, since it's almost comical the way in which the soldiers queue up to be incinerated.)''
|-
| 42 youths.
| They mocked [[Elisha]]'s bald head (Although some translations have them telling him to "go on up", implying they had threatened to kill him).
| No kidding - God sends 2 she-bears to maul them to death.
| {{bible|2 Kings|2|23}}-24 ''(Evidently there weren't any lions to hand).''<ref>See also [http://atheism.wikia.com/wiki/Christian_morality#Bible-based_morality Christian morality] and [http://wiki.ironchariots.org/index.php?title=Elisha#The_story_of_the_bears Elisha and the bears.]</ref>
|-
| Some foreigners.
| Not worshiping God
| Killed by lions
| {{bible|2 Kings|17|25}}-26 ''("Death by lion" crops up with suspicious frequency. Did the author of Kings have some kind of lion-phobia?)''
|-
| 185,000 soldiers.
| Being at war with Israel
| Killed by the angel of the Lord while they slept.
| {{bible|2 Kings|19|35}} ''(Just one of god's angels is just as cruel as himself.)''
|-
| Jeroboam.
| Rebelling against Abijah, the king of Israel based on dependence from David.
| Not specified
| {{bible|2 Chronicles|13|20}} 
|-
| Jehoram.
| Doing evil in the sight of the Lord.
| Stricken by a disease that caused his bowels to fall out.
| {{bible|2 Chronicles|21|14}}-19 ''(Nasty way to go.)''
|-
| Hananiah.
| Being a false prophet and preaching against God's chosen.
| "Cast from off the face of the earth".
| {{bible|Jeremiah|28|16}}-17
|-
| Ezekiel's wife.
| '''Literally nothing.''' God just wanted to make a point.
| Unknown.
| {{bible|Ezekiel|24|15}}-18 ''(Well, being wife of the prophet or people who may be eligible to become the prophet is now an occupational hazard…)''
|}

===Perspectives===
Since large numbers of people often end up as {{trope|A Million Is A Statistic|Main|meaningless statistics|,}} consider the rough guide below:

*'''20 million''' - In the [[global flood]]: this figure is just over the maximum estimated human population before agriculture. Approximately the current population of [[Australia]]. It would take about a decade for this many [[US|Americans]] to die of natural causes. Actually, absolute terms aren't useful for this one, as it was near-enough 100% of the population - imagine 8 billion people being killed should God decide to pull this one again.
*'''185,000''' - Assyrian soldiers killed while sleeping. This is greater than the ''entire'' multi-national coalition force at the peak of the [[Iraq War]] - so imagine losing that entire force in their sleep in one night. By comparison, the bloodiest battle (on a single day) in modern history would be the first day of the [[World War I|Battle of the Somme]], where 20,000 BEF troops were killed. 185,000 is also the equivalent of [[9/11]] every single day for two months. It is slightly higher than the largest ever attendances at Talladega or Daytona motor racing tracks.<ref>{{wpa|List of sporting venues with a highest attendance of 100,000 or more}}</ref>
*'''70,000''' - Assorted Israelites, incidentally the same number of people who claimed to be [[Jedi]] in the 2001 Australian census. This is approximately the athletics capacity of {{wpl|Wembley Stadium}}, or towards the upper end of casualty estimates for the atomic bombing of Nagasaki (39,000-80,000).<ref>{{wpa|Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki}}</ref>
*'''50,070''' - Assuming the higher figure, this is not far off the capacity of Yankee Stadium. Sports stadiums are useful comparisons because they're areas where we have {{wpl|File:Yankee_Stadium_upper_deck_2010.jpg|photographs}} of that many people in close proximity and you can see how many it represents.
*'''24,000''' - Slightly higher than the capacity of Madison Square Garden for pro wrestling.

Of course, many of these numbers do pale next to what humans do to each other, and what the planet itself has thrown at us, but it is really the motives (or lack of) that should be truly shocking. When one takes into consideration all killing committed for God and in his name (up until the present {{#time: Y}}), the tally increase would be much, much higher. He gives free will, but apparently, it is just a trap. 

But, remember.... ''[[Fun:God's Love|God loves you!]]''

==New Testament killings by God==
God of the New Testament appears to have had a rather drastic change in personality, resulting in far fewer deity-induced deaths than seen in the Old Testament. On the other hand, the New Testament is a smaller anthology covering a much shorter time period, and makes up for it with [[Revelation]].

{| class="wikitable" border="1" style="width:100%;"
|-
! style="width:20%;" | Fatalities
! style="width:30%;" |  Crime
! style="width:20%;" |  Method used
! style="width:30%;" |  Biblical reference
|-
|  Ananias and Sapphira
|  Lying (Offering the money they got from selling some land but secretly withholding some, in an attempt to save money while becoming well respected.)
|  First one and then the other fell dead at [[Peter]]'s feet when he questioned them. Possibly a divine heart attack.
|  {{bible|Acts|5|1}}-10 
|-
|  Herod
|  Failure to credit God with his achievements
|  Struck down by an angel and eaten by worms.
|  {{bible|Acts|12|23}} (''Perhaps a potential concern for much of the human race.'')
|-
|  ''(Prophesied future killings)'' Indeterminate amount, at least all living non-Christians and "Not Good Enough" Christians
|  Not worshiping God, persecuting his saints, not obeying his ludicrous commands, preaching "false gospels", following the Beast instead of God. Or simply being in the way.
|  Various
|  Detailed in the passages where God sends four horsemen ({{bible|Revelation|6|1}}-7), commands the angels to sound seven trumpets ({{bible|Revelation|8|7}}-11:15), commands the angels to unleash seven plagues ({{bible|Revelation|16|2}}-17). Then the big man himself descends in glory like a final boss, riding on a white horse with a big-ass sword sticking out his mouth accompanied by armies of mighty angels to take VENGEANCE (Er, I mean, give presents) on the Beast, it's armies, as well as those who don't believe in God, or don't obey his absurd commands. Finally the Great Beast, his False Prophet, and all non-saved are cast into a Lake of Fire. {{bible|2 Thessalonians|1|5}}-9 {{bible|Revelation|19|11}}-22
|-
|  ''(More Prophesied Future Killings)'' Indeterminate amount, stated as "Like the sand on the beach"
|   Being part of Satan's last Army
|   Fire from Heaven
| {{bible|Revelation|20|8}}-9
|}

==Mysterious ways==
{{main|Mysterious ways}}
Despite the obvious dickery above, it's quite easy for the [[Thought-terminating cliché|usual theological excuse]] to be trotted out to explain it: God works in mysterious ways. But if God was able to get away with anything without people knowing, he would probably kill.

==How many people will die at the Battle of Armageddon?==
{{cquote|The angel swung his sickle on the earth, gathered its grapes and threw them into the great winepress of God's wrath. They were trampled in the winepress outside the city, and blood flowed out of the press, rising as high as the horses' bridles for a distance of 1,600 stadia.|||{{bible|Revelation|14|18}}-20}}

Let's assume that 1,600 stadia (320 kilometres = 320,000 metres) is the diameter of the lake of blood, therefore, the radius is 800 stadia or 160km. Let's also assume that a horse's bridle is approximately 1.5 metres from the ground, giving us its depth.

We can then calculate the volume of blood using the formula: V = πr<sup>2</sup>h. Using [[Pi#Biblically knowing pi|biblical value of π = 3]] we get the formula:

<center>3 × 160,000 × 160,000 × 1.5 = 115,200,000,000 = 1.152×10<sup>11</sup> cubic metres of blood.</center>

1 cubic metre = 1,000 litres

115,200,000,000 × 1,000 = 115,200,000,000,000 = 1.152×10<sup>14</sup> litres of blood

If we divide this number by the average amount of blood in a human body, 5.5 litres:

<center>115,200,000,000,000 ÷ 5.5 = 20,945,454,545,500</center>

'''So we find that according to [[scripture]], at a bare minimum according to one interpretation, God will kill approximately 2.09{{overline|45}}'''× 10<sup>13</sup> people. ''That's in the tens of trillions'''''.

However, since it says flows and not pools, it wouldn't be unreasonable to think that a river was formed. Assuming they measured the blood-flow using actual horses, and a horse is 1 metre across.

<center>320,000 × 1 × 1.5 = 480,000 cubic metres of blood.

480,000 × 1,000 = 480,000,000

480,000,000 ÷ 5.5 = 87,272,727 </center>

So, in another interpretation, God will kill a minimum of 87,000,000 people to produce a horse bridle-high blood-flow.

==See also==
*[[Actions which demand the death penalty in the Old Testament]]
*[[Examples of Satan personally killing people]]
*[[Massacres in the name of a peaceful faith]]
*[[fun:God's Love|God's Love]]
*[[Divine retribution]]
*[[Problem of evil]]
*[[Friedrich Nietzsche]] - an example of a person personally killing God.
*[[Skeptic's Annotated Bible]] - the maker has a book devoted to this very subject

==External links==
*[http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses]
*[http://dwindlinginunbelief.blogspot.com/2006/09/satan-vs-god-past-and-future-killings.html Satan vs God: past and future killings]
*[http://dwindlinginunbelief.blogspot.com/2010/04/drunk-with-blood-gods-killings-in-bible.html How many has God killed? Complete list and estimated total (Including Apocryphal killings)], Dwindling in Unbelief
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20150501061112/http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2013/07/25/how-many-people-did-god-slaughter-in-the-bible-steve-wells-has-written-a-book-documenting-every-kill/ How Many People Did God Slaughter in the Bible? Steve Wells Has Written a Book Documenting Every Kill], [[Hemant Mehta]]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20181005165416/http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/godkills.htm How many people did God kill in the Bible?]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|1|80%}}

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