Fundies Say the Darndest Things

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'''Fundies Say the Darndest Things''' (FSTDT) is a website dedicated to logging the sheer inanity of statements made by [[fundamentalist]]s of all types. Perpetrators also include [[secular]] proponents of stupidity, demonstrating that Bible-thumpers don't have an outright monopoly on the crazy and outlandish. The most commonly recurring topics of submitted quotes include [[evolution]], [[homosexuality]], [[feminism]], and the [[Establishment Clause]].

While many of the quotes come from random internet forum users and bloggers, sometimes actual news sites make it in, though usually bottom-tier news like [[WND]]. These are worth submitting to [[RationalWiki:What is going on in the clogosphere?|WIGO Clogs]] (and vice versa). Furthermore, some quotes come from legitimate news articles reporting on insane things that fundies have done or said.

==In relation to Poe's Law==

In the clamour to get ever more insane speeches and quotes, the site invariably suffers at the hands of [[Poe's Law]]. A few quotes do come from what can be considered "legitimate" sources such as various Christian forums, so they can be taken as genuine. However, there have been examples of very [[deep cover liberal|deep cover]] parodists on some websites throwing out quotes insane enough to be featured. Often, the comments that have been posted for each quote will enlighten readers as to whether some quotes are obvious hoaxes, but ambiguity more often than not remains and the only conclusion is that at least ''some'' of these people are, in fact, for real.

==Spin-offs==
The site has since spawned three spin-offs, concentrating on the quotes of [[Racism|racists]],<ref>[https://fstdt.com/?tag=racist Racists Say The Darndest Things (RSTDT)]</ref> [[Conspiracy theory|conspiracy theorists]],<ref>[https://fstdt.com/?tag=conspiracy Conspiracy Theorists Say The Darndest Things (CSTDT)]</ref> and [[Sexism|sexists]].<ref>[https://fstdt.com/?tag=sexist Sexists Say the Darndest Things]</ref> The third spin-off, Sexists Say the Darndest Things, is a relative newcomer, and was long requested in the comments section before its creation. Usually, these are just as, if not more so, batshit crazy than their fundie counterparts. They feature quotes by [[Men's rights movement|men's rights activists]], [[Manosphere glossary#Incel|incels]], and [[Radical feminism|radfems]]. In all seriousness, avoid going and reading the racism one if you want to retain any faith in humanity (ditto for any of the really sexist/homophobic posts<ref>[http://fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=109504 We mean it.]</ref>). With FSTDT and CSTDT, you can assume [[Poe's Law]] or have a chuckle or perhaps think that these people will eventually see sense, although CSTDT applies little reason and most members have an agenda to make the term "conspiracy" synonymous with "delusion". The following is one of the tame ones — others include, to the best of anyone's knowledge, a very sincere post about actually ''[[lynch mob|lynching]]'' a man.{{fact}}

{{cquote|'''''[[I'm not prejudiced, but...|I'm not racist but]] I believe black people are closer to gorillas than to white people... that´s why we shouldn´t get mixed with black people, we are different species and they should stay at Africa? or to the zoo, somewere far away from us, as I said [[bullshit|I'm not racist]] and I don´t pretend to insult anybody, but black people is a threat to our race'''''|||Prettyshandra8, ''YouTube''<ref>[https://fstdt.com/JX.3 Racist Say the Darndest Things! (RSTDT) quoting Prettyshandra8]</ref>}}

{{cquote|'''''The [[Sexual revolution|Sexual Revolution]] of the 60s was worse than the [[Holocaust]]'''.

'''''Sure, in the Holocaust, [[genocide|a lot of people died]] and it was pretty uncomfortable. But it was over in a couple of years and ever since then [[Judaism|J-words]] have been living with unparalleled [[Reverse racism|special treatment]] that only women [[Reverse discrimination|exceed]].'''''

'''''The Sexual Revolution was far worse. It undone centuries of social progress. Every achievement we'd made since the 1780s just disappeared. It condemned literally millions upon millions of men throughout the ages to a life of inceldom. It [[Moral panic|destroyed standards and morals]] by normalising shit music, drugs and the "club and casual sex" [[degenerate]] lifestyle. It was the progenitor of [[feminism]] which is and always has been an [[Misandry|anti-male/anti-ugly male hate movement]].'''''

'''''In short, the Sexual Revolution was our very own Holocaust but we're unlucky enough that it never ends, and we must live in the concentration camp of the degenerate modern day for our whole lives with the knowledge that things will only get worse. Already [[polyamory]] is being normalised and considered by [[slut]]s to be a valid form of relationship. Serial monogamy (basically the same thing) was normalised a while ago.'''''

'''''We're absolutely fucked, incels. [[Manosphere glossary#Chad|Chad]] has won. We are hated because we're ugly, and that's the top and bottom of it. [[Manosphere glossary#Personalitism|Personality]] means nothing if a slut can go to a club and have [[sex]] with a different [[Manosphere glossary#Alpha|alpha male]] every night.'''''|||IAmWhatYouMadeMe9, [[Reddit#Extreme misogyny|r/incels]]<ref>[http://fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=126176 Sexists Say the Darndest Things! (SSTDT) quoting IAmWhatYouMadeMe9 on r/incels]</ref>}}

==Classic quotes==

Without wanting to recreate the entire list, these are a selection of some of the shorter, yet still quoteworthy entries submitted to FSTDT.

{{cquote|'''''If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol.'''''|200|50|Gods soldier, ''Myspace''<ref>[https://fstdt.com/56C Gods soldier, myspace.com]</ref>}}

{{cquote|'''''I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie.'''''|200|50|JohnR7, ''Christian forums''<ref>[https://fstdt.com/TCL JohnR7, christianforums.com]</ref>}}

{{cquote|'''''You call it [[circular reasoning]], we Christians call it [[faith]].'''''||| James2ko, ''Religious forums'''<ref>[http://fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=103181 James2ko, Religious forums']</ref>}}

{{cquote|'''''The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English. It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.'''''|200|50|leyenda, ''KJB only''}}

{{cquote|'''''Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has.'''''|200|50|Beryl Baptist Church, ''Pharyngula'' (quoting [[Martin Luther]])<ref>Page from [http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/03/we_arent_going_to_kiss_and_mak.php Pharyngula];[fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=60994 Quote #60994 on FSTDT]</ref>}}

{{cquote|[Re: King James Bible. Shadow Girl: "I can barely read that version. Plus my grandmother told me that it was written by King James because he wanted a divorce from his wife but the Pope wouldn't grant it."]<br />
'''''You're thinking about the NKJV. This is the one that was commissioned by the king that wanted a divorce I believe. I think it was one of the King Henry's. Crazy kook either got the divorces he wanted or arranged the death and/or imprisonment of his wives so he could re-marry at will. The KJV is the original copy written and translated by Shakespeare, from the ancient greek and [[hebrew]] manuscripts. If not this, he may have translated it from an even earlier english translation (which was then translated from the original greek and hebrew) when english barely resembled what it is today. It's one of these two events. This is why it's considered the most accurate, a direct english translation from the originals and the standard for today despite being a relic from the 1300-1500's where fancy poetic language was the common english of those times.'''''|||TimothyK, rr-bb.com<ref>[https://fstdt.com/KS.3 TimothyK, rr-bb.com]</ref>}}

{{cquote| [As of {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}, the quote with the second highest "Fundie Index", the site's version of a like count:]
'''[[Leviathan|Leviathon]] is [[Spiritual warfare|a spirit I have battled]] as well. It was a hard battle but was won. It was about four months or more ago. My wife and I were in McDonalds and were having a conversation with an angel and Leviathon had come up. I told the angel that i wanted to fight this demon and he said I could. On the way back to the hotel I asked the angel if he could bring the demon to a predestinated place and he said yes. I figured that since Leviathon was from the depths of the sea he would be used to the cold water so I filled the tub up with scalding hot water and blessed the water. The angels (there were two now) brought Leviathon bound to the tub and fought with me. We all pulled our swords from our hips and began running this demon through with all my strength and everything I had. I would say it took atleast half an hour or more. We were all spent but the battle was won.'''||| nautical999, ''Ministering Deliverance''<ref>[http://fstdt.com//QuoteComment.aspx?QID=60847 nautical999, Ministering Deliverance]</ref>}}

Words of wisdom by [[Andrew Schlafly]] was added to the site in November 2009 following one of his more...erm...''interesting'' [[Conservapedia:Andrew Schlafly's dumbest insights|insights]]. In the context of FSTDT and Poe's Law, this quote is interesting since — to the best of anyone's knowledge — Schlafly is 100% [[Conservapedia:Conservapedian relativity|for real]]: 
{{cquote|'''''There's a broader point here. Why the big push for black holes by liberals, and big protests against any objection to them? If it turned out empirically that promoting black holes tends to cause people to read the Bible less, would you still push this so much?'''''|200|50|[[Andrew Schlafly]]<ref>[http://fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=67791]</ref>}}
More of Schlafly's quotes have [https://fstdt.com/?q=andy+schlafly&title=&domain= frequently been featured on FSTDT]. Due to the infamy gained from his [[Conservative Bible Project]], he was voted "2009 Fundie of the Year" in the FSTDT board with 94.8% of the vote.<ref>[http://fstdt.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=fstdt&action=display&thread=4016 Poll Question: Who is the Fundie of the Year?]</ref> In addition to the CBP, which gave him his fifteen minutes of fame in late 2009, this could be attributed to the large volume of material Schlafly generates through editing Conservapedia, and that because we know he's a real person and not just some faceless internet user, we can be (pretty) sure he's real and not faking it.

Quotes by RationalWiki users [[User:Men's Rights EXTREMIST|Men's Rights EXTREMIST]]<ref>[http://fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=126975 Men's Rights EXTREMIST, RationalWiki: Why are so many black men voting for Hillary in the primary?]</ref><ref>[http://fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=126978 Men's Rights EXTREMIST, RationalWiki: Power imbalance]</ref><ref>[http://fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=126974 Men's Rights EXTREMIST, RationalWiki: How does your theory that feminists find it empowering to fuck alphas make any sense?]</ref> and [[User:Kingdamian1|Kingdamian1]]<ref>[http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=127044 KingDamian1, RationalWiki: Essay:Lol ATHEISTS are basically FLAT earthers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]</ref> amongst others<ref>http://www.fstdt.net/Search.aspx?Board=RationalWiki</ref> have also been featured.

And then there's [http://fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=13471 this]. (Warning: May cause headaches.)<ref group=note>Which was so utterly nonsensical that it got the author thrown off the board he posted it on.</ref> ''What?''

==See also==
*[[Rapture Ready]], whose quotes are frequently featured on FSTDT. More than one poster on the FSTDT forums came there after being banned from Rapture Ready.
*[[Free Republic]] &mdash; also a frequent target for FSTDT due to coverage of political extremism in addition to religious fundamentalism
*[[Moonbattery]] &mdash; another frequent target, arguably even more extreme right-wing than Free Republic in that it frequently contains overt [[racism]]
*{{wpl|Integral|''f ∫ t dt''}}<ref><math>f\!\int\!t\,dt = \frac{f\,t^2}{2}+C</math></ref>

==Notes==
<references group=note/>

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

[[Category:Comedy]]
[[Category:Fundamentalism]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:Parody]]

Categories: Comedy, Fundamentalism, Internet, Websites, Parody