Crystal healing

{{altmed}}[[File:Bitch Crystals by Obviousplant.JPG|thumb|right|Bitch Crystals, a satirical product by [https://twitter.com/obviousplant_ Obvious Plant].]]
{{Cquote|'Do you believe in the healing power of crystals, young man?' snapped the woman, raising the club threateningly.
'What? What healing power?' said Vimes.
The old woman gave him a cracked smile, and dropped the club.
'Good,' she said. 'We like our customers to take their [[geology]] seriously.'|||[[Terry Pratchett]]|''Thud!''}}


'''Crystal healing''' is the practice of trying to [[Healing|heal]] physical, emotional, and/or [[psychological]] problems by [[crystal woo|placing precious or semi-precious stones]] on or near the patient.

The standard form of [[crystal]] healing associates a colour of the [[rainbow]] to each [[chakra]] of the body. A problem in some part of the body is "healed" by placing an appropriately-coloured crystal on the chakra closest to the afflicted part.<ref>[http://www.kacha-stones.com/chakras.htm So they say.]</ref> For example, the chakra in the forehead is associated (by authorities undefined) with the colour purple, so to cure a headache, you would apply a purple stone to the forehead.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20050311205138/http://www.crystalwellbeing.co.uk/crystalhealing/sevencolorchakralayout.php The Seven Colour Chakra Layout for Chakra Balancing][https://web.archive.org/web/20080723161132/http://www.crystalwellbeing.co.uk/introcrystalhealing.php Introduction to Crystal Healing]</ref> The lack of demand for amethysts to replace aspirin adequately demonstrates the effectiveness of this procedure.

Apart from standard healing doctrine, practitioners remain [[PIDOOMA|free to make up their own rituals]] for using the stones, and may ascribe to them whatever [[magic]]al properties they please. For example, crystal therapists attempt to diagnose the state of the patient's [[aura]] and select crystals they hope will remove "disequilibrium".<ref name=Directory>[http://www.therapy-directory.org.uk/articles/crystal-therapy.html Crystal "Therapy"]</ref>

Adding to the hilarity, [[altie]] veterinarians (they exist)<ref>[http://www.ahvma.org/ America Holistic Veterinary Medical Association. Be afraid.]</ref> have started using crystal healing.<ref>[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7240231.stm BBC: Warning about animal 'therapies']</ref> Without the [[placebo effect]], it is even ''less'' effective.

Crystals themselves may not require "healing".

==History==
Although there are traditions for this going back for centuries or even millennia, and although many crystal practitioners [[Appeal to tradition|remind prospective clients of this]], the standard method of crystal healing described above dates back no earlier than the 1940s.

Besides the standard method, any particular technique used by any particular crystal healer might have been made up last week or earlier. For example one [[United Kingdom|UK]] practitioner uses [[intuition]], [[dowsing]], [[Reiki]], enhances the [[vibration#Woo|vibration]] of the crystals and charges £35.00 for a three-quarter hour session.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20100304100408/http://www.crystalwellbeing.co.uk/crystalhealing/crystalhealingtreatments.php Crystal Healing Treatments]</ref>

==Efficacy==
There is no [[evidence]] that crystals applied externally have curative powers, nor do the crystal healers themselves seem at all interested in research to look for such evidence.

The claimed physical effects of the stones are usually described in such terms as: they "help the liver to function" or "balance the endocrine system". You will look in vain in a book on crystal healing for [[Quack Miranda Warning|a claim to treat any particular problem]] such as [[measles]], {{wpl|sunstroke||,}} or a {{wpl|heart attack||.}} For this reason, crystal healing is less pernicious than other forms of alternative medicine, which do offer specific treatments and so [[What's the harm (logical fallacy)|turn patients away from real medical care]]. Rather, crystal healing is by-and-large a hobby for those who, if they were really ill, would almost certainly see a doctor.

Besides the vague physical benefits ascribed to crystals, they are [[Holistic medicine|holistic]],<ref name=Directory/> they are also claimed by various healers to have more [[spiritual]] or [[occult]] purposes, such as opening the [[third eye]], repairing the [[aura]], or warding off [[psychic]] attacks. While almost all practitioners agree that the crystals have such [[metaphysical]] effects, there is no agreement among them about which stones have which powers. Not only are these claims inconsistent, they are also untestable.

It may perhaps be argued, though, that if someone is sincerely in fear of [[Curse|attack by malignant spirits]], and is sincerely convinced that carrying a magic pebble will ward off these attacks, then they are [[Placebo effect|receiving a benefit from the pebble]], though [[Illness anxiety disorder|admittedly]] [[Self-fulfilling prophecy|not the benefit]] [[Selection bias|they think]] [[Confirmation bias|they're getting]].

There is also little or no agreement between the practitioners as to how a pebble, however pretty, can balance the chakras: theories range from the influence of [[extraterrestrial]]s to the usual jargon about [[quantum woo|quantum theory]].<ref>[http://www.gemologyonline.com/Forum/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7358&start=15 A "gemology" forum]</ref><ref>[http://lotus-star.com/products/quantum-chakra-balancing They even admit it's glass, not even real gems]</ref>

==Nomenclature==
[[File:Fire_Coral.jpg|thumb|"Fire coral. The guru said if you put this on your skin, it'll heal yo&mdash;''AAAAAAAAA''!"<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20110718013452/http://firstaid.webmd.com/wilderness-fire-coral-cuts-treatment For those who aren't divers: Fire coral hurts like hell.]</ref>]]
It is interesting that many of the 
theories
 claims made by crystal healers attach importance to the regular geometric structure that characterises a crystal. Yet so-called "crystal" healers, in practice, make use of any precious or semi-precious material in their work, including not only amorphous (non-crystalline) rocks such as obsidian, but also such substances as amber, jet, ivory, coral, and pearls.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20070629045516/http://www.amber-teething-necklaces.com/healing_properties_of_baltic_amber.html Amber]</ref><ref>[http://windstoneeditions.com/products/healing-ivory-only Ivory via "primordial egg energy]</ref><ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20071221184038/http://www.shimmerlings.com/gemstones/jet.htm Jet for headache pain!]</ref> Some practitioners attempt to rectify this by dropping references to crystals and calling their technique "gem therapy". However, a different name fails to fix the underlying problem &mdash; the lack of any [[scientific]] foundation.

==See also==
*[[Crystal skull]]
*[[Crystal woo]]
*[[Native American woo]]
*[[Color therapy]]
*[[Ovilus]] (Not directly related, but the site it's sold on sells an app that lets you "recharge your crystals" and it implies it is this kind.)

==References==
{{reflist}}

[[Category:Alternative medicine]]
[[Category:Crystals]]
[[Category:Energy therapy]]
[[Category:Nature woo]]
[[Category:Pseudoscience]]

Categories: Alternative medicine, Crystals, Energy therapy, Nature woo, Pseudoscience