Dick Armey

[[File:Dick Armey, official 105th Congress photo.jpg|thumb|right|165px|At ease, private.]]{{uspolitics}}
{{hatnote|Not to be confused with [[homosexual recruitment|the dick army]] feared by [[wingnut]]s.}}
{{cquote|Hey Armey, what's your wife's name? Vagina Coastguard?|||Peter Griffin, ''Family Guy''<ref>[http://familyguy.wikia.com/wiki/Dick_Armey "Dick Armey", ''Family Guy'' wiki]</ref>}}
{{cquote|Are people born gay, or do they ''turn'' gay just to piss off Dick Armey?|||Roy Zimmerman, "Defenders of Marriage"}}
'''Richard Keith "Dick" Armey''' {{lived|1940}} is an [[United States|American]] economist and politician. He was [[Republican]] [[House of Representatives|Representative]] from the 26th Congressional District of [[Texas]] from 1985 to 2003, serving as House Majority Leader from 1995 to 2003. He worked closely with [[Newt Gingrich]] on the "Contract With America" during the "Republican Revolution" of 1994.

Armey also accidentally<ref group=note>[[Penn & Teller]] had ''tried'' to get a hold of [[Democratic]] representatives {{wpl|Charles Rangel}} and {{wpl|Nancy Pelosi}} (also then-House Speaker), but said politicians made the wise career move not to appear on a show called "Bullshit". However, Armey and Paul happily agreed to give impromptu interviews in their stead, the two of them being 
less squirmy about profanity
 no strangers to [[bullshit]] themselves.</ref> featured in a 2009 episode of ''[[Penn & Teller: Bullshit!]]'', alongside then-fellow [[crank]] congressman [[Ron Paul]].<ref>http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2223785/?ref_=tt_cl_t11</ref>

==Congressional dickery==
During his first month as Majority Leader, Armey referred to [[Barney Frank]], who was openly gay, [[homophobia|as "Barney Fag"]].<ref>[https://www.nytimes.com/1995/01/28/us/no-2-house-leader-refers-to-colleague-with-anti-gay-slur.html No. 2 House Leader Refers to Colleague With Anti-Gay Slur] ''The New York Times''. Jan. 28, 1995.</ref>

As a member of Congress, Armey came out in favor of endless disastrous legislation. These laws included the Telecommunications Act,<ref>[https://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/104-1995/s268 S. 652 (104th): Telecommunications Act of 1996] ''GovTrack''. Jun 15, 1995.</ref> which accelerated corporate consolidation in the media; the [[Defense of Marriage Act]],<ref>[https://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/104-1996/h316 H.R. 3396 (104th): Defense of Marriage Act] ''GovTrack''. Jul 12, 1996.</ref> which set the Federal definition of [[marriage]] only between a man and a woman and allowed states to refuse recognition of same-sex marriages legal in other states; the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act,<ref>[http://clerk.house.gov/evs/1999/roll570.xml FINAL VOTE RESULTS FOR ROLL CALL 570] ''Office of the Clerk of the U.S. House of Representatives''. 4-Nov-1999.</ref> which repealed the Glass-Steagall legislation; and the [[USA PATRIOT Act]],<ref>[http://clerk.house.gov/evs/2001/roll398.xml FINAL VOTE RESULTS FOR ROLL CALL 398] ''Office of the Clerk of the U.S. House of Representatives''. 24-Oct-2001.</ref> which opened up a Pandora's box of [[authoritarian]] crackdowns on [[privacy]] and [[civil liberties]].

Just before he retired, Armey became the primary sponsor of the [[Security_theater#Homeland_Security|Homeland Security]] act,<ref>[https://www.congress.gov/bill/107th-congress/house-bill/5005 H.R.5005 - 107th Congress (2001-2002): Homeland Security Act of 2002] ''Library of Congress''. 06/24/2002.</ref> which brought us [[sarcasm|delightful]] agencies such as [[ICE]] and [[TSA]]. Finally, after being convinced by [[Dick Cheney]] that [[Saddam Hussein]]'s family had [[al-Qaeda]] ties and he was developing [[nuclear weapons]],<ref>[https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2008-sep-16-na-cheney16-story.html Ex-lawmaker says Cheney misled him about Iraq] The Los Angeles Times''. SEP. 16, 2008.</ref> Armey voted for the [[Iraq War]],<ref>[https://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/107-2002/h455 H.J.Res. 114 (107th): Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Iraq Resolution of 2002] ''GovTrack''. Oct 10, 2002.</ref> although he did have serious doubts about this at the time<ref>Hubris: The Inside Story of Spin, Scandal, and the Selling of the Iraq War</ref> and later blamed his vote on him being misled by Dick Cheney.<ref>Angler: The Cheney Vice Presidency. p. 219</ref>

==Dick flaps it==
After leaving Congress, Armey worked for DLA Piper, a major law firm and [[lobbying]] shop.<ref>{{wpa|Dick Armey#DLA Piper}}</ref> He also chaired Conservative pressure group and [[astroturfing]] organization [[FreedomWorks]],<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20040725031033/http://www.freedomworks.org/release.php</ref><ref group=note>[https://ballotpedia.org/FreedomWorks The group got their name from Armey's extremely cheesy catchphrase "Freedom works. Freedom is good policy and good politics."]</ref> which was notoriously responsible for causing organized disruptions of town hall meetings on [[universal health care]].<ref>http://prescriptions.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/14/former-congressional-leader-departs-lobbying-firm</ref>

Termed "the healthcare flap" by ''Politico''<ref>http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0809/26128.html#ixzz0OD7Z8WqR</ref> (explaining our above-chosen headline), Armey was later forced to leave his position at DLA Piper as a result of the obvious conflict of interest, on the one hand between Armey's clients there — [[Stopped_clock|supportive of health care reform]] as they were — and, on the other hand, FreedomWorks' [[Conspiracy_theory|epic struggle]] against [[Obamacare|Obama's socialist death panels]].<ref>http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/02/dick-armey-fighting-obama_n_182279.html</ref>

==See also==
*[[FreedomWorks]]
*[[Newt Gingrich]], his House Speaker counterpart.

==Notes==
{{notelist}}

==References==
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Categories: Chickenhawks, Christians, Economists, Former United States Representatives, Homophobes, Tea Party, Living people, Right-wing activists, Texas, United States politicians