Donald Rumsfeld

[[File:Rumsfeld1 (cropped).jpg|thumb|right|165px|Lookin' for some weak little countries to beat up. Seen any?]]
{{uspolitics}}
{{cquote|There are known knowns; there are things we know we know.  We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know.  But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don't know we don't know.|||[[Philosopher]] Donald Rumsfeld, on the [[Zero|state]] of the [[CIA]]'s intelligence on [[Iraq War|Iraq]]<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiPe1OiKQuk Watch it here!]</ref>}}

'''Donald "The Don" Rumsfeld''' {{lived|1932|2021}} was 
a lizard
<ref>[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/25/louis-ck-donald-rumsfeld_n_828284.html "Louis C.K. Asks Donald Rumsfeld: 'Are You a Lizard from Outer Space?'"], HuffPo ([http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-28481876  And he's being kind.])</ref> 
an owner of "trained [[ape]]s"
<ref>[http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/donald-rumsfeld-trained-ape?utm_content=bufferc15a8&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer Was Donald Rumsfeld Really Race-Baiting Obama With 'Trained Ape' Comment?], Talking Points Memo</ref> "not a good Defense Secretary" and "glad he's gone",<ref>[http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/William_Kristol Kristol], on ''[[The Daily Show|The Daily Show with Jon Stewart]]'', discussing Rumsfeld's resignation.</ref> according to [[William Kristol|Bill Kristol]].

In his first term as Secretary of Defense under [[Gerald Ford]], he was the youngest Secretary of Defense in American history, while in his second term under [[George W. Bush|Dubya]], he was the oldest. Fittingly, he endorsed [[Donald Trump|the most incompetent Presidential candidate in history.]]<ref>Levitz, Eric, [http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/06/rumsfeld-calls-donald-trump-a-known-unknown.html "Donald Rumsfeld Will Vote for Trump Because He's a ‘Known Unknown’"], ''New York Magazine'' (6/23/16 at 5:19 p.m.).</ref> He would finally die on June 29, 2021, having never faced justice for presiding over [[Iraq War|an illegal war of aggression based on a lie]].

==Credentials==
{{cquote|At the time of the Iraq invasion, nobody I knew could understand why the Bush administration was so determined to use the excuse of 9/11 to invade a country that had nothing to do with it. None of their given ''casus belli'' added up, they contradicted each other, and frankly no one even seemed to be bothering to try all that hard to convince us. Everyone had their own pet theory: Oedipal grudge match; revenge for the assassination attempt on/humiliation of Bush I; couldn't hurt the poll numbers...Rumsfeld probably did it because in secret he likes to be made to wear pretty things and peed on and wanted to prove that this did not make him any less manly.|||Tim Krieder<ref>Kreider, [http://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly110119.htm "Why's ''You'' Invade Iraq?"], '' Pain'' 19 January 2011.</ref>}}

Rumsfeld the man just came off as strikingly shallow, a non-entity, a shell filled with ambition but with no real thought process to him.  The documentary ''The Unknown Known'' showcases the uncanny valley behind Rumsfeld. The director found him incredibly frustrating to interview because you just couldn't meaningfully engage with him; there's simply [[Hanlon's razor|nothing there]]. It is like watching an interview with an automaton. The takeaway was that some people are on autopilot, and if they get into positions of power, you're screwed.  End of story. Not the most satisfying takeaway to be sure, but a worthwhile documentary if only for that. Though it was undoubtedly a maddening watch for many.<ref>Kaplan, Fred, [http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/30/movies/the-unknown-known-explores-how-rumsfeld-sees-himself.html "Seeking Truth in a Blizzard of ‘Snowflakes’"], ''[[New York Times|NYT]]'' 3.28.14.</ref>

Unusually for [[Neoconservative|neo-cons]], Don was no [[chickenhawk]]; he served as a [[US Navy|naval aviator]] for three years in the 1950s and was a 
kung-fu master
<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20100201205131/http://www.poe-news.com/features.php?feat=31845 his mad kung-fu skillz.]</ref> 
reservist for several decades after that. So that's one redeeming quality.  We may have some trouble finding others though.

==''The Rummy Returns''==
[[Image:Rumsfeldsaddam.jpg|thumb|right|165px|A ruthless warlord shaking hands with [[Saddam Hussein]].]]
{{cquote|I want to know if the president knows what a fucking [[asshole]] Don Rumsfeld is.|||Fran Townsend<ref>[http://abcnews.go.com/images/ThisWeek/Politics%20GQ%20June2009.pdf And He Shall Be Judged], ''GQ''</ref>}}

Rumsfeld was Chief of Staff and then Secretary of Defense in the [[Gerald Ford|Ford]] administration.  For some unknown reason, [[George W. Bush]] attempted to resurrect his career 25 years later.  At the time, it seemed like he was surrounding himself with experience. ([[Dick Cheney|Cheney]] and Rumsfeld both had a lot of experience; they just turned out to be scumbags.)

*Rumsfeld pushed to invade Iraq (in the aftermath of 9/11) because there weren't "any good targets in Afghanistan," and "there are lots of good targets in Iraq."<ref>Rennie, David, [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/1457484/Ex-aide-says-Bush-ignored-warnings-about-al-Qaeda.html "Ex-aide says Bush ignored warnings about al-Qa'eda"], ''[[Telegraph]]'' (22 March 2004, 12:05 AM GMT ).</ref> Rumsfeld thought the cost-to-outcome ratio for his party would be better fighting a big, doughy dictatorship rather than a loose network of insurgents.
*Rumsfeld wanted a war on the cheap. The Army told him they needed 3x as many troops to secure the country. He canned top generals until he got someone to say 'yes'.<ref>Margolick, David, [http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2007/04/donald-rumsfeld-iraq-war "The Night of the Generals"], ''Vanity Fair'' (9/16/13 at 11:13 am).</ref><ref>[https://np.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1uba7f/i_am_colonel_retired_peter_mansoor_former/ AmA with retired Colonel Peter Monsoor], 1.3.14.</ref> The military also sided against the civilian government, led by Bremer, and their decision to disband the Iraqi Army.<ref> Dan Senor and Roman Martinez, [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/02/14/AR2011021405224.html "Donald Rumsfeld's Iraq revisionism"], NYT 15 February 2011.</ref>
*Under Rumsfeld's aegis, we got rid of slow-moving artillery in favor of "air artillery": sustained, precision airstrikes that were thought to be an adequate replacement.<ref>Noah, Timothy, [http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/chatterbox/2002/11/birth_of_a_washington_word.html "Birth of a Washington Word"], Slate (20 November 2002, 6:40 PM).</ref> The U.S. later had to buy M777 artillery pieces.  It turns out that artillery is still king.<ref>Mizokami, Kyle, [http://www.popularmechanics.com/military/weapons/a25495/us-army-double-range-howitzers/ "The U.S. Army Is About to More Than Double the Range of Its Howitzers"], ''Popular Mechanics'' 1 March 2017.</ref>
*And worst of all, Rumsfeld and other planners thought the [[Germany]] blueprint would work: disband the military, {{wpl|De-Ba'athification|de-Baath}} the country (de-Nazification), and write a new constitution. Problem solved. 

:What they missed on the historical part was that from 1945 to 1992, the US stationed no fewer than 200,000 troops in West Germany per year. And that's not even counting the tens of thousands of British and French troops there as part of the occupying forces of Germany. In fact, British troops (known as British Forces Germany) still had 5,000 troops in Germany up until 2020, albeit only for training purposes. To say nothing of the wholesale disarmament of society, the rounding up of Nazis and collaborators into large prison camps, the societal and cultural and religious differences, etc.  None of that was addressed.  It's the classic imperialist tactic, justifying nationalistic wars of aggression over the past 75 years based on successes within huge coalitions 75 years ago.

The White House was by no means all-in on Iraq.  They wanted a cheap war, and they got a long one.

===I'll be in the back, uh, supervising===
In one of the worst acts of tempting fate, Donald Rumsfeld, during a meeting with [[Congress]]men at the [[Pentagon]], warned — on the morning of [[9/11]] — that “sometime in the next two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve months there would be an event that would occur in the world that would be sufficiently shocking that it would remind people again how important it is to have a strong healthy defense department that contributes to — that underpins peace and stability in our world.” Very tellingly, when the attacks occurred that day, Rumsfeld deserted his post for half an hour before returning. For the 30 minutes or so that he was gone from his office, other officials were desperately trying to contact him but were unable to do so.<ref>[http://www.historycommons.org/context.jsp?item=a938rumsfeldoutofcontact#a938rumsfeldoutofcontact Senior Officials Unable to Contact Defense Secretary Rumsfeld] (Note that this has since been spammed all over the place by [[Truther]]s believing it was something more nefarious.)</ref> Not a hawk, but he's definitely a chicken.

Here is the true extent of Rumsfeld's [[hypocrisy]]: When the Americans had [[Osama Bin Laden]] cornered, a general called up Rumsfeld to ask for an order to pursue. Rumsfeld said no, and Osama left for [[Pakistan]].<ref>[http://www.politico.com/politico44/2012/05/rumsfeld-called-off-bin-laden-raid-despite-downplaying-122287.html Rumsfeld scrapped raid - 6 years before calling OBL kill 'easy call'], ''Politico''</ref>

==Stopped clock moment==
As a [[Republican]] congressman elected from [[Illinois]]' 13th congressional district, Rumsfeld voted in favor of the [[Civil Rights Act]]s of 1964 and 1968,<ref>[https://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/88-1964/h182 H.R. 7152. CIVIL RIGHTS ACT OF 1964. ADOPTION OF A RESOLUTION (H. RES. 789) PROVIDING FOR HOUSE APPROVAL OF THE BILL AS AMENDED BY THE SENATE.]. GovTrack. Retrieved March 29, 2021.</ref><ref>[https://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/90-1967/h113 TO PASS H.R. 2516, A BILL TO ESTABLISH PENALTIES FOR INTERFERENCE WITH CIVIL RIGHTS. INTERFERENCE WITH A PERSON ENGAGED IN ONE OF THE 8 ACTIVITIES PROTECTED UNDER THIS BILL MUST BE RACIALLY MOTIVATED TO INCUR THE BILL'S PENALTIES.]. GovTrack. Retrieved March 29, 2021.</ref> in addition to the [[Voting Rights Act]] of 1965.<ref>[https://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/89-1965/h87 TO PASS H.R. 6400, THE 1965 VOTING RIGHTS ACT.]. GovTrack. Retrieved March 29, 2021.</ref> Doesn't really balance out the complicity in [[war crimes]], but it's something...

==Legacy==
Rumsfeld's most important legacy may be the [[Blackwater|radical privatization of the American military]], which has been an important factor in the conduct of the [[War on Terror]]. 

Rumsfeld was sued by a guy who claims Rumsfeld authorized the use of [[torture]] against him, but it didn't go through.<ref>[http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/jurisprudence/2012/11/new_ruling_donald_rumsfeld_can_t_be_sued_for_torture.html Why Donald Rumsfeld Can’t Be Sued for Torture], ''Slate''</ref>

Rumsfeld's quote above is similar to if not verbatim from [[Erhard Seminars Training|Werner Erhard]].  So, for that matter, is the quote below:

{{cquote|You don't go to war with the Army you wish you had, you go to war with the Army you have.|||Rumsfeld, er, "supporting" the troops}}

==External links==
*[http://www.slate.com/id/2081042/ The poetry of Donald Rumsfeld]
*[http://politicalhumor.about.com/cs/quotethis/a/rumsfeldquotes.htm Rumsfeldisms]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcDnJyc6-vo Wrong guy, Rummy.]
*[http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/10/world/middleeast/10marines.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1& "Who's Rumsfeld?"]
*[http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2011/02/what-its-like-to-work-for-donald-rumsfeld/71521/ No memo can ever beat this.]
*[http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/closeread/2011/03/rumsfeld-says-thanks.html Rumsfeld Says "Thanks"]

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

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Categories: Authors, Bush administration, Business, Christians, Government incompetence, Former U.S. Cabinet Members, Former United States Representatives, Neoconservatives, Shysters, War criminals