Sarah Palin

{{bronze}}[[File:Sarah Palin portrait.jpg|thumb|right|168px|The face that ushered in brain cell damage in the trillions. And counting.]]{{uspolitics}}
{{cquote|I used to think Michael Palin was the funniest Palin on Earth. What fascinates me is: people watching her on television - can they not see that she's basically learned certain speeches? She does them very well, she's got a very good memory, but it's like a nice-looking parrot.|||[[John Cleese]], ''The Telegraph''<ref>http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/sarah-palin/3194405/Sarah-Palin-could-have-been-invented-by-Monty-Python-says-John-Cleese.html</ref>}}
'''Sarah 
Failin'
 Palin''' {{lived|11 February 1964}} is the former [[Republican]] Governor of [[Alaska]], a beauty queen, reality-TV star, and prime example of how well [[abstinence programs|abstinence-only]] [[education]] works. She was the youngest Governor in Alaskan history, the first to be born after Alaskan statehood, and has damaged the state's public image more than any other person in recent memory.<ref>Marty Beckerman, [http://www.theawl.com/2010/09/how-sarah-palin-ruined-alaska "How Sarah Palin Ruined Alaska"], The Awl. (“I can see Alaska from my house, lol”)</ref>  In 2016, she was offered an opportunity to become a Swamp Monster in [[Donald Trump|Trump's]] cabinet, most likely as Secretary of the Inferior.<ref>Michael D. Shear and Gardiner Harrisnov, [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/11/us/politics/trump-government.html "Trump Wants to ‘Drain the Swamp,’ but Change Will Be Complex and Costly"], NYT 9.10.16.</ref>

On August 29th, 2008 [[President of the United States|presidential]] candidate [[John McCain]] selected her to be his [[2008 US Presidential Election|running-mate]] (the Geezer and Gidget ticket),<ref>"[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7588435.stm McCain picks female running mate]". [[BBC|BBC News (online)]]. August 29, 2008.</ref> despite the fact that she didn't really know what a [[Vice President of the United States|Vice President]] does.<ref>[http://www.politico.com/reporters/MikeAllen.html Mike Allen] (August 29, 2008).  "[http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0808/12969.html Palin dissed veep job]". [http://www.politico.com/ Politico].</ref><ref group=note>Hint: what vice presidents do is go to state funerals and try to avoid boredom while waiting for the president to die, or finish a second term so they themselves can run for president. [[Dick Cheney]] is the only obvious counter-example.</ref> She supports teaching [[creationism]] alongside [[evolution]] in [[biology]] classrooms,<ref>Afarensis (October 27, 2006). "[http://afarensis99.wordpress.com/2006/10/27/intelligent_design_and_the_ala/ Intelligent Design and the Alaska Governor's Race]". [http://afarensis99.wordpress.com/ Afarensis:  Anthropology, Evolution, and Science (blog)]. Retrieved April 26, 2013.</ref><ref>Tom Kizzia (October 27, 2006). "[http://www.adn.com/2006/10/27/217111/creation-science-enters-the-race.html 'Creation science' enters the race]". [http://www.adn.com/ Anchorage Daily News]. Retrieved April 26, 2013.</ref> and came prepackaged with scandal.<ref>NBC News Political Unit (August 30, 2008). "[http://firstread.nbcnews.com/_news/2008/08/30/4429793-palins-troopergate?lite Palin's Troopergate]". ''[http://firstread.nbcnews.com/ First Read].'' [http://www.nbcnews.com/ NBC News (online)]. Retrieved April 26, 2013.</ref><ref>Sean Cockerham (August 14, 2008). "[http://www.adn.com/2008/08/14/492964/palin-staff-pushed-to-have-trooper.html Palin staff pushed to have trooper fired]". ''[http://www.adn.com/troopergate Walt Monegan firing]''.  [http://www.adn.com/ Anchorage Daily News]. Retrieved April 26, 2013. (That's a different reference for those who don't like NBC/[[MSNBC]].)</ref><ref>Here's hoping [http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/8/29/163234/559/495/579213 this] article starts shining a little bit of light on the subject--the last thing we need a literal heartbeat away from the Presidency is a ninja [[dominionist]].</ref>

Palin is widely and appropriately ridiculed by [[Crazification factor|2/3rds]] of American society, who accurately point out that she's a fool and that her opinion on any issue is the last one anyone should ask for.  However, there's a [[Conservative correctness|certain]] [[Conservative bias|subset]] of conservatives who shun all media outlets and honestly believe Palin was sandbagged by mainstream media for being conservative, and no other reason. Among those types of voters, Palin's lack of credentials [[Anti-intellectualism|can only be an endorsement.]] She was instrumental in electing Sen. [[Ted Cruz]] in [[Texas]],<ref>Quigley, Bernie, [http://thehill.com/blogs/pundits-blog/national-party-news/229989-ted-cruz-the-sarah-palin-phenomenon "Ted Cruz: The Sarah Palin phenomenon"], The Hill (5/30/12 12:41 pm).</ref> gave the kiss of life to [[Rand Paul]]'s moribund Presidential campaign,<ref>Klett, Leah Marieann, [http://www.gospelherald.com/articles/59937/20151120/sarah-palin-voices-support-for-rand-paul-says-republican-voters-are-idiots-for-marginalizing-his-supporters.htm "Sarah Palin Voices Support For Rand Paul, Says Republican Voters Are 'Idiots' for Marginalizing His Supporters"], The Gospel Herald 11.20.15. An idiot calling other idiots idiots. She just increased her chances of being "Doctor" Paul's vice president, you go barracuda.</ref> and, more recently, has allied with [[Donald Trump]].<ref>Alan Rappaport and Maggie Habermanjan, [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/20/us/politics/donald-trump-sarah-palin.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&_r=0 "Sarah Palin Endorses Donald Trump, Which Could Bolster Him in Iowa"], NYT 1.19.16. Remember, Iowan Republicans picked '''[[Rick Santorum|Rick fucking Santorum]]''' last cycle. Palin is probably something of a national hero in their eyes.</ref>

==Was it a good idea?==
{{cquote|''Aim low.  Aim so low that you never get disappointed''.|||McCain campaign slogan regarding Sarah Palin}}
She had an 89% approval rating in Alaska before being tagged for VP. She was literally the most popular governor in America.<ref>Barnes, Fred, [http://www.weeklystandard.com/the-most-popular-governor/article/14960 "The Most Popular Governor"], ''The Weekly Standard'' 7.16.07.</ref> She likely could have served two terms, and maybe switched to be a senator when she was done. She was beloved in Alaska but ridiculed by most of the country, meaning that she went too far. Palin did draw substantial criticism from staunch [[conservative]]s in Alaska for her perceived [[populist]] economic policies, including significantly raising [[taxes]] on oil production, subsidizing a new [[natural gas|gas]] pipeline with public money, and advocating $1,200 energy supplements.<ref>Dan Fagan (March 9, 2008). "[http://www.adn.com/2008/03/09/339557/conservatives-should-heed-the.html Conservatives should heed the call for change in Alaska]". [http://www.adn.com/ Anchorage Daily News]. Retrieved April 26, 2013.</ref> (In point of fact, it was the largest operating budget in Alaskan history.) Bill Moyers even invited her onto his PBS show to talk progressive politics. It remained to be seen how this would affect her standing with conservatives in the long run, but she did have a future. 

And less than 2 years of experience as governor.

As Barack Obama chose [[Joe Biden]] for his vice-presidential running mate due to his experience in foreign policy and the economy, and his attack-dog credentials, Senator McCain presumably chose Governor Palin in order to bring youth to the campaign. But this was apparently her only benefit. It worked for about a week when all she did was wave and give prepared speeches. [[Ultracrepidarian|Then they let her answer questions]]. If you're going to pick someone who is utterly unqualified, you should at least have a plan to protect her from the sharks.  Some McCain insiders, however, blamed Sarah for digging in her heels and [[Dunning-Kruger effect|resisting attempts at vetting her.]] Before long, she had usurped her own campaign manager, Steve Schmidt.<ref>[http://www.cbsnews.com/news/palin-e-mails-show-infighting-with-staff/ "Palin E-mails Show Infighting With Staff"], [[CBS]] 7.1.09.</ref><ref>Capeheart, Jonathan, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/post/steve-schmidts-brutally-honest-assessment-of-sarah-palin/2011/03/04/gIQA9ewZ7R_blog.html "Steve Schmidt’s brutally honest assessment of Sarah Palin"], [[NYT]] 3.12.12. '''Schmidt''': "I think the notion of Sarah Palin being president of the United States is something that frightens me, frankly. And I played a part in that because we were fueled by ambition to win."</ref>

Some would say that her gender was a benefit to McCain in order to pander to [[PUMA|Hillary Clinton supporters]], but her [[anti-abortion]] stance didn't impress most of them, especially the female voters. Also, her touted "[[environmentalist]]" status was severely undercut by her support of [[oil]]-drilling in the Alaskan wilderness. And while Obama had only a few years of political experience under his belt, Palin had only been in state government for ''twenty months'', making her even less experienced than he, and causing the Republicans to lose their biggest advantage. If a hypothetical President McCain had died in office (he would have been the oldest ever elected) she would have had to [[Armageddon|take over as president]].

In a ''mea culpa'', Schmidt told Chris Matthews that he's sorry about this whole Palin thing — turns out she's a complete "freak show" and has ushered in a slow, painful death for his once-esteemed and respected political party.<ref>Kopan, Tal, [http://www.politico.com/story/2013/09/steve-schmidt-republicans-097250 "Schmidt rants against GOP 'asininity'"], Politico (09/24/13 06:22 AM EDT, Updated 09/24/13 06:27 PM EDT).</ref>

===At large===
In July 2009, Palin announced her decision to resign from the governorship of Alaska, in order to take up community organizing ([[Obama|irony]]!) to ready herself for a run for the Presidency in 2012 and begin a career as a [[Facebook]] blogger.  (That "How's all that [[Barack Obama|hopey-changey]] stuff working out for ya?" line is an all-time classic<ref>Don Gonyea, [http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=123462728 "How's That Hopey, Changey Stuff?" Palin Asks], [[NPR]], 8 February 2010.</ref>). She later decided she wouldn't run, eliciting anguished moans from the political-comedy community.<ref>[http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-15193726 Sarah Palin says she will not run for president in 2012]. [[BBC]], 5 October 2011.</ref>

Palin still has a strong following in the Tea Party movement. It was actually Sarah Palin who accredited the Tea Party's existence to Obama which was, like most things that come out of Sarah Palin's mouth, mindless drivel. 

Her initial endorsement of Trump was a doozy; he dragged her out once during the primaries, and she rambled so much<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvlm3LKSlpU Full video: Sarah Palin endorses Donald Trump]. CBS News, YouTube, 2016.</ref> that they never let her out again.

==Palin and the "new" feminism==
{{cquote|The candidate sauntered to the lectern with the assurance of a sleepwalker — and immediately launched into a symphony of snorting and sneering remarks, taking time out in between the superior invective to present herself as just a humble gal with a beefcake husband and a brood of healthy, combat-ready spawn who just happened to be the innocent targets of [[Liberal media|a communist and probably also homosexual media conspiracy]]...It was like watching Gidget address the Reichstag.|||[[Matt Taibbi]]<ref>Taibbi, [http://www.alternet.org/story/100551/mad_dog_palin "Mad Dog Palin"], originally posted in ''Rolling Stone''9/26/08.</ref>}}
If, during the election, one had read only GOP-supporting blogs, one might have thought that female voters were flocking to Palin, as a woman who does away with the old [[feminist]] views, showing what can be achieved without [[affirmative action]].<ref>[http://www.americanthinker.com/2008/09/sarah_palin_is_sounding_the_de.html A blog so poorly written that it has spelling errors in quotations]</ref><ref>[http://www.americanthinker.com/2008/09/why_feminists_fear_strong_wome.html A blog that spells lesbian "Lesbian" even though that would imply they are from Lesbos]</ref> These people were wrong: the political rally "Alaska Women Reject Palin" was larger than the pro-Palin homecoming rally the week before.<ref>[http://www.snopes.com/politics/palin/rally.asp Snopes on the rally's existence and size]</ref> Also no one could possibly support anyone who would charge a [[rape]] victim for the processing of the "crime scene" analysis known as the "rape kit."<ref>[http://bostonherald.com/users/george_bryson George Bryson] (September 11, 2008). "[http://bostonherald.com/news_opinion/us_politics/2008/09/alaska_pols_wasilla_charged_victims_rape_kits Alaska pols: Wasilla charged victims for rape kits]".  [http://bostonherald.com/ Boston Herald (online)].</ref> That was the policy in Wasilla when Palin was mayor and she did nothing to change the policy.<ref>[http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/staff/bill-adair/ Bill Adair] (September 22, 2008). "[http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2008/sep/22/palin-rape-kit-controversy/ The Palin 'rape kit' controversy]". ''[[PolitiFact]]''.  [http://www.tampabay.com/ Tampa Bay Times].</ref>

It also remains inconceivable to some True Feminists<sup>TM</sup> that a "feminist" can hold the position that women are legally, morally, ethically, intellectually equal to men while still saying that if raped, they ''must'' have the rapist's child. That's hardly an equality; hell, it's an [[oxymoron]].<ref group=note>This is not to be confused with a moron who sucks up oxygen, which Palin is a prime example of as well.</ref>

By bringing Trig Palin into the world, chromosome problems and all (a prenatal exam determined Trig had Down syndrome), Sarah's life speaks directly to women who have been told they must decide between having children and having success. What she says is if you are successful and reasonably rich, you can demand that others make their "choices" in the way that you insist are the only "choice."

After the election there was talk that Palin might be under consideration for important posts in the Republican Party in the future. If this happens, American voters should be well aware of [[The Handmaid's Tale|what she wants to do]].

==The (failed) return==
In 2022, Palin decided to step out of irrelevance and get back into the national spotlight. She announced her intention to run to represent Alaska in the House, and earned Trump’s approval.<ref>Jazmine Ulloa and Jeremy W. Peters, [https://archive.ph/1t4jH Sarah Palin Announces She’s Running for Congress in Alaska]. [[The New York Times]], 1 April 2022.</ref> She tried to run in the special election for Alaska's at-large congressional district to replace the late {{wpl|Don Young||,}} which ended up proving that a majority of Alaskans would rather elect {{wpl|Mary Peltola|a Democrat}} than have Sarah Palin representing them.<ref>[https://www.politico.com/news/2022/08/31/democrat-peltola-beats-palin-in-alaska-special-election-upset-00054428 Democrat Peltola beats Palin in Alaska special election upset], Joseph Gedeon, ''Politico'' 31 August 2022</ref> Still, she tried again in the [[2022 midterm elections]] but was completely crushed by Peltola again by an even larger margin.

==Experience==
[[File:Sarah Palin, Queen of Pork.jpg|thumb|right|Hope and change will soon go away, I will be [[Godwin's Law|führer]] one day.]]
===Political===
*Governor of the nation's forty-seventh<ref group=note> [[North Dakota]] has since taken over Alaska to knock it down to forty-eighth place.</ref> most populous state for under two years, quitting right as the [[Great Recession]] hit (which would have resulted in unpopular [[tax]] increases and/or spending cuts).
*Two-term mayor of a town that: 

:#Is about the size of some of the nation's largest high schools.
:#Has the largest number of [[meth]] labs in the state.<ref>The Associated Press (March 8, 2005). "[http://juneauempire.com/stories/030805/sta_20050308002.shtml Troopers dub Mat-Su area the meth capital of Alaska]". [http://www.juneauempire.com/ Juneau Empire (online)].</ref>
:#Alaskan voters had the good sense not to designate their capital in 1994.

*In December 2016, she was rumored to be a possible choice to head the Department of Veterans Affairs by strange orange plutocrat/President-elect [[Donald Trump]].<ref>[http://www.dailykos.com/story/2016/12/01/1605729/-Trump-considering-Sarah-Palin-to-head-Veterans-Affairs-because-this-is-real-life-now Trump considering Sarah Palin to head Veterans Affairs, because this is real life now,] Daily Kos</ref>

===Foreign policy===
*Squinting at [[Russia]] across the Bering Strait.
*A trip to [[Canada]].
*A stop-over in 
Éire
 
[[Ireland]]
 that place with the green beer.
*A one-year-old passport.
*Spent over $40,000 on clothes from donated GOP money.<ref>http://extratv.warnerbros.com/2008/11/sarah_palins_secrets_leaked.php</ref><ref>http://www.bordermail.com.au/news/world/world/general/is-africa-a-continent-palins-true-ignorance-now-revealed/1354593.aspx</ref>

===Athletic===
*Captain of Wasilla High School state champion basketball team
*Kills moose<ref>[http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94100211 McCain Picks Alaska's Gov. Sarah Palin For VP Spot]</ref> (squirrel mysteriously omitted from reportage)
*Will pay you to kill [[wolves]] from the air<ref>[http://redgreenandblue.org/2008/09/12/sarah-palins-record-on-killing-wolves-is-brutal/ Sarah Palin’s Record on Killing Wolves is Brutal]</ref>

===Medical===
Trying to stay relevant in the post-Trump kookosphere world, Palin proclaimed in 2021 regarding the [[COVID]] vaccine, "It’ll be over my dead body that I’ll have to get a shot. I will not do that. I won’t do it, and they better not touch my kids either."<ref>[https://www.mediaite.com/weird/watch-sarah-palin-proudly-tells-raucous-turning-point-rally-crowd-she-will-get-vaccinated-over-my-dead-body/ Sarah Palin Proudly Tells Raucous Turning Point Rally Crowd She Will Get Vaccinated ‘Over My Dead Body’] by Ken Meyer (Dec 19th, 2021, 1:40 pm) ''Mediaite''.</ref>

===Intellectual===
*Ignores books and whitepapers on important topics, in favor of text messages from her "Prayer Warriors"<ref>[http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2010/10/sarah-palin-201010 ''Vanity Fair'' expose on Palin's intellectual vacuity]</ref>

===Other===
*Reads every newspaper<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRkWebP2Q0Y Sarah Palin Can't Name a Newspaper She Reads]. CBS News via m35nyntk545, YouTube, 2012.</ref>

==Controversies==
*Though she herself is not a member of the {{wpl|Alaskan Independence Party}} (yes, that's a thing), her ex-husband has been, and she ''did'' provide a recorded welcoming to an AIP convention.<ref>[http://www.411mania.com/politics/columns/84244/The-Palin-Controversies-Keep-Coming----She-Was-Member-Of-Pro-Secession-Alaska-Party.htm Alaskan Independence]</ref>

*Though she holds no affiliation with "union thugs",<ref>Condon, Stephanie, [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/palin-blasts-labor-leader-calls-conservatism-a-better-fit-for-union-workers/ "Palin Blasts Labor Leader, Calls Conservatism a Better Fit for Union Workers"], CBS (9/27/10 9:52 AM)</ref> her ex-husband is a member of the United Steelworkers union. ''Get with the program, Todd!''

*In what has become known as "Troopergate," she came under investigation in Alaska for abusing her power to get her ex-brother-in-law fired. In keeping with then [[Bush]]-Administration policy, Gov. Palin and those connected with her refused to cooperate with the investigation and declined to respond to subpoenas, while the Alaska Attorney General refused to enforce said subpoenas.<ref>[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26777544/ Troopergate story on MSNBC]</ref> Additionally, Republicans tried to have the investigation stopped on the grounds that it was a politically motivated attack on Palin, in spite of the fact that the investigation started ''[[Chewbacca defense|before]]'' McCain had selected her for his running mate. In October, Palin was found to have abused her power as Governor by the investigation, although the state legislators have no power to take formal action against her.

*The ''Los Angeles Times'' interviewed a man who said of Palin: "She told me she felt the world would end and she would see [[Jesus]] in her lifetime."<ref>[http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-lopez23-2008sep23,0,3506838,full.column  LA times - Jesus to meet Palin in his lifetime]</ref>

*In the not-so-much-ado-about-nothing, category, Ms. Palin inquired about the process for removing books from the town library.<ref>However, the "list of books" currently circulating claiming she wanted them banned is a [http://www.snopes.com/politics/palin/bannedbooks.asp complete fabrication.]</ref>

*Also in this category was the media getting punk'd by a bogus "leak" from a non-existent McCain staffer and [[think tank]] fellow. On Nov. 12, 2008, the ''[[New York Times]]'' reported:
{{cquote|It was among the juicier post-election recriminations: [[Fox News]] Channel quoted an unnamed McCain campaign figure as saying that Sarah Palin did not know that [[Africa]] was a continent.

Who would say such a thing? On Monday the answer popped up on a blog and popped out of the mouth of David Shuster, an [[MSNBC]] anchor. “Turns out it was Martin Eisenstadt, a McCain policy adviser, who has come forward today to identify himself as the source of the leaks,” Mr. Shuster said.

Trouble is, Martin Eisenstadt doesn’t exist. His blog does, but it’s a put-on. The think tank where he is a senior fellow — the Harding Institute for Freedom and Democracy — is just a Web site. The TV clips of him on YouTube are fakes.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/13/arts/television/13hoax.html A Senior Fellow at the Institute of Nonexistence]</ref>}}

*Her unmarried 17-year-old daughter was [[premarital sex|pregnant]], seemingly only to add more problems to her already stressful VP campaign. But it all added to the spin fun.<ref>Liz Sidoti, Associated Press writer (September 1, 2008). "[http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2008Sep01/0,4670,CVNPalinDaughter,00.html Palin says daughter, 17, is pregnant]". [[Fox News|Fox News (online)]]. Retrieved April 26, 2013.</ref>  It says a lot about the Republican media machine that a failed VP candidate and governor with an alleged domestic abuser son<ref>[http://radaronline.com/celebrity-news/track-palin-arrested-domestic-violenc-girlfriend-rocky-relationship/ History Of Trouble: Track Palin’s ‘Violent’ Outbursts Exposed]</ref> and a twice-pregnant-out-of-wedlock daughter can be [[Family values|a paragon of conservative values]].

*Despite complaining on the campaign trail that her family struggles to pay the bills, as well as claiming to be "[[Reaganism|an everyday, working-class American,]]"<ref group=note>Also known as a hockey mom - big smile!</ref> it was reported during the campaign that the Palins are worth at least $1.2 million, and own a plane, a half million dollar lakefront home, and two holiday get-aways.<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20101120015830/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/at-home-with-the-palins-struggling-workingclass-americans-worth-12m-949722.html At home with the Palins: 'struggling working-class Americans' worth $1.2m]</ref>

*She thinks Dino the [[Dinosaur]] really did live with early man, 6,000 years ago, right after the [[earth]] was made - in, [[Young Earth Creationism|yes, six days]].

*She believes that the worst thing that Dick Cheney has ever done is shoot a friend of his during the infamous hunting accident, but to Cheney's credit, Palin totally thinks his friend had it coming for getting in the way of the gun.

*"Sarah Palin's rejection of an invitation to speak at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in February 2010 is arousing widespread criticism."<ref>Muriel Kane (January 8, 2010), [http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2010/01/08/palins-snub-conservative-conference-raises-questions/ Palin's snub of conservative conference raises many questions], [http://www.rawstory.com/ The Raw Story]</ref> Allegedly she charges $100,000 per appearance, and won't turn up unless she's paid her thirty pieces of silver.

*Palin did not report the construction of two new cabins on property she partially owns to the local government, and failed to report these new structures for tax purposes. "Palin's attorney, Thomas Van Flein, claims it is not the responsibility of property owners to report structures they build on the land. Dunivan, however, said owners are required by state law to report any omissions or errors in their tax assessments."<ref>[http://www.capitolhillblue.com/node/25597 Capital Hill Blue. "Palin failed to report new cabins, pay taxes."]</ref>

*During the [[Tea Party]] convention in February 2010, Palin required all questions for the Q&A with the audience after her talk to be pre-screened and pre-selected.<ref>[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/35283131#35283131 In answering one of the questions, she read from notes written on her hand.]</ref>

*On 12 January 2011, Palin issued a Facebook “[[blood libel]]” video statement, denying her Giffords-in-the-crosshairs attacks could be at fault in the [[Jared Loughner|shooting]] of congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, while claiming she (Sarah) was the real victim.<ref>[http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2011-01-13-palin13_ST_N.htm Sarah Palin's 'blood libel' claim stirs controversy]</ref> Yes, she denied that she engaged in [[cannibalism]]. 
Let's just end it there.
 Here's the thing: "Blood libel" is a [[conspiracy theory]] that [[Jewish]] folks have kidnapped some unnamed Christian children and eaten them/drunk their blood. Blood libels, always a lie, were used to justify violence against a town's entire Jewish community via [[pogroms]]. Oh, and Gabby Giffords is herself Jewish, so...

===Star of David necklace===
Sadly, Sarah Palin's Jewish problem doesn't end with the "blood libel" remarks. American Jews are by now somewhat used to (but no less displeased with) being fetishised by American [[Christian Right|Christian Rightists]], but Sarah Palin has taken it all the way to cultural appropriation and beyond. There have been many sightings of her flat out wearing the Star of David publicly.<ref>[http://wonkette.com/443583/sarah-palin-wearing-star-of-david-is-a-jew-now-or-something Example 1]</ref><ref>[http://www.jeffpearlman.com/the-audacity-of-sarah-palin-and-her-jewish-star/ Example 2]</ref><ref>[http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/06/25/sarah-palin-is-maybe-going-to-take-the-tea-party-home-and-go-rogue-third-party-with-it/ Example 3]</ref> The problem is, Sarah Palin isn't Jewish. She has expressed no desire to convert to Judaism, she doesn't participate in the Jewish community, and she has not revealed any Jewish heritage. It's just effed up, Sarah, and it would be really nice if you quit this crap.

===Conspiracies===
Like most high-profile politicians, Sarah Palin isn't free from the occasional conspiracy theory. For example, as the flipside to the [[Birtherism]] movement, the '''Trig Palin birtherism''' or '''Trig Truther''' movement alleges that Trig Palin is actually the son of Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol, and Sarah Palin had claimed him as her own to save face for her then-unwed teenage daughter as well as solidify her [[anti-abortion]] position.<ref>http://www.businessinsider.com/sarah-palin-baby-hoax-2011-4</ref> Led by blogger Andrew Sullivan and revived in a <strike>genuine academic paper</strike> blog post dressed up like an academic paper by an NKU professor,<ref>http://www.thenortherner.com/news/2011/04/07/professors-research-ruffles-former-palin-spokesman/</ref> the movement hinges on the fact that Sarah Palin didn't look pregnant in her photos leading up to the birth of Trig, including several showing her with a "really flat stomach."

This is fairly readily dismissed; not every woman swells like a balloon to the point of uncoverability when pregnant, even as late as seven months, and it can be difficult to discern three-dimensions from a two-dimensional photograph (which can be further complicated when you've got [[confirmation bias|reasons to believe something meaningful is there]]). On top of that, like most conspiratorial [[cover-up]]s, a cover-up of that level would require cooperation between a large number of parties from both sides of the political aisle, including journalists and people who would gladly see her reputation crumble, stretching from before her rise to fame.<ref>http://www.salon.com/2011/04/22/sarah_palin_trig_conspiracy_theory/</ref> Consider how readily critics and satirists railed against Palin during her peak years for less -- is it reasonable to believe they would readily ignore something so controversial? To quote journalist Justin Elliott, who had confirmed her pregnancy prior to Trig's birth:

{{quotebox|You can believe that Palin was wearing a pregnancy suit and Hollywood-quality makeup for weeks, all before she had a national profile. You can believe that she fooled all of those journalists with her pregnancy costume, including the AP reporter who literally inspected Palin's belly in her office. You can believe that Palin, and her entire family, and her doctor, and her disgruntled former aide Frank Bailey, have been lying to the press in a tightly organized and mind-bogglingly elaborate conspiracy. You can believe that the medical workers who were involved in Trig's delivery were paid off or have simply kept inexplicably quiet about the hoax.

Or you can believe that Trig is Sarah Palin's son.<ref>Erik Hayden, [https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/04/trutherism-and-birtherism/349913/ Tracing the Narratives of Birthers and Trig-Truthers]. ''The Atlantic'', 22 April 2011.</ref>}}

Another complicating factor involves Bristol Palin herself. Just eight months after Trig's birth, Bristol gave birth to her son, Tripp Johnston, on December 2008. Not only does this put the claim that the cover-up was for Bristol to save face into question as she was still unwed,<ref>http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2008/12/29/palins-daughter-gives-birth-son-named-tripp/</ref> but it also places very strong doubt on the timeline proposed by the truthers. Despite the shortened window, there is no indication that she had her child prematurely or in some other manner that necessitated cutting the pregnancy short.

==Famous quotes==
[[Image:Palindebate.GIF|thumb|It is a well known fact Sarah Palin is a master debater. [[Image:nods.gif]]]]
===by Sarah Palin===

{{cquote|Sarah Palin: I can give you examples of things that John McCain has done, that has shown his foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities. And that is what America needs today."

Katie Couric: I'm just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation?

Sarah Palin: I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to ya!|||From an interview broadcast in late September 2008.}}

*{{Q|...where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh -- it's got to be all about job creation too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So healthcare reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, um, scary thing, but 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We've got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that.|Sarah Palin on the proposed [[Banking crisis|bailout of the financial sector]], also first known SNL parody that used the person's exact words.}}<ref>http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-na-onthemedia26-2008sep26,0,7467803.story</ref>

*{{Q|Golly-gee!|Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008}}

*{{Q|Goshdarnnit!|Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008}}

*{{Q|Doggarnnit!|Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008}}

*{{Q|Ubetcha!|Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008}}

*{{Q|I'm not going to answer the questions...|Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008}}<ref group=note>Taken wildy, at least one would hope, out of context.</ref>

*{{Q|Those are some backassward ways of fixing the economy.|Interview with Barbara Walters, November 17, 2009, on Barack Obama's economic strategies.}}

*{{Q|General McClellan did not say definitively the surge principles would not work in Afghanistan.|Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008. (It is unclear why Palin was anxious to heed the advice of {{wpl|George B. McClellan|General McClellan}}, particularly after he spectacularly botched the [[American Civil War|Peninsular Campaign]], though it is possible that Palin meant to say {{wpl|David D. McKiernan|General McKiernan}}.)}}

*"As [[Putin]] rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where – where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border."<ref>[http://politicalhumor.about.com/bio/Daniel-Kurtzman-8621.htm Daniel Kurtzman], [http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/sarahpalin/a/palin-top-10.htm Top 10 Dumbest Sarah Palin Quotes: Idiotic Quotes by Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin], [http://politicalhumor.about.com/ About.com (Political Humor)]</ref><ref>[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-news/reporting/nico-pitney Nico Pitney] (originally on September 25, 2008; updated on November 3, 2008), [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/25/palin-talks-russia-with-k_n_129318.html Palin Talks Russia With Katie Couric (VIDEO)], [[The Huffington Post]]</ref>

*{{Q|He who warned uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.|On Paul Revere's ride}}

*{{Q|Ground Zero Mosque supporters:  Doesn't it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, please refudiate.|July 18, 2010}}

*{{Q|I would have waived the Indiana Jones Act, and some unions might not like it, not union membership, but the union leaders, too many, who are thugs.|June 26, 2010; at the Oil Palace in Tyler, Texas, USA}}

*{{Q|Shoot, I must have lived such a doggoned sheltered life as a normal, independent American up there in the Last Frontier, schooled with only public education and a lowly state university degree, because obviously I haven't learned enough to dismiss common sense.|June 13, 2010; in opposition to offshore drilling}}

*{{Q|Here's an example of how it wastes some time. To be judged on or to be talked about on appearance - say chest size - it makes me wear layers, it makes me have to waste time figuring out what am I going to wear so that nobody will look in an area that I don't need them to look at.|June 12, 2010}}

*{{Q|Extreme deep water drilling is not the preferred choice to meet our country's energy needs, but your protests and lawsuits and lies about onshore and shallow water drilling have locked up safer areas. It's catching up with you. The tragic, unprecedented deep water Gulf oil spill proves it.|June 2, 2010; blaming environmentalists for oil spills}}

*{{Q|It may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: 'Sit down and shut up,' but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out.|July 3, 2009; resigning as governor}}

*{{Q|Only dead fish go with the flow.|July 3, 2009; resigning as governor}} (Jim Hightower published a book in 2008 titled ''Swim against the Current: Even a Dead Fish Can Go With the Flow''.)

*{{Q|They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.|October 5, 2008}}

*{{Q|There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women.|October 4, 2008<ref>https://www.huffpost.com/entry/palin-misquotes-albright_n_131967</ref>}}

*{{Q|If I were in charge, they [jihadists] would know that [[waterboarding]] is how we'd baptize [[terrorists]].|April 4, 2015<ref>[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/27/sarah-palin-waterboarding_n_5222665.html ''Huffington Post'' - Sarah Palin: 'Waterboarding Is How We'd Baptize Terrorists' If I Were In Charge]</ref>}}

*{{Q|Well, and then, funny, ha ha, not funny, but now, what they’re doing is wailing, ‘Well, Trump and his Trumpeters, they’re not conservative enough.’|January 19, 2016<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/21/us/politics/sarah-palin-endorsement-speech-donald-trump.html ''The New York Times'' - The Most Mystifying Lines of Sarah Palin’s Endorsement Speech]</ref>}}

*{{Q|All those things that have to do with privacy and [[sex]]—the liberals, not the conservatives, are the ones who pound, pound, pound after that.|January 2022; blathering on [[Fox News]] about [[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez]]<ref>William Vaillancourt, [https://www.thedailybeast.com/sarah-palin-aghast-at-liberals-like-aoc-who-want-to-pound-pound-pound-sex-into-peoples-heads Sarah Palin: Liberals Like AOC Want to ‘Pound, Pound, Pound’ Sex Into People’s Heads]. The Daily Beast, 11 January 2022.</ref>}}

===Palin's double-entendres, perhaps===
*{{Q|Polls are for strippers and cross-country skiers.|September 3, 2011; at a Tea Party rally in Iowa}}

*{{Q|I love that smell of the emissions!|May 29, 2011; at a motorcycle rally}}

*{{Q|John McCain has already tapped me"'' ... ''"In that position"'' ... [I have] ''"a lot of flexibility in that position"|Sarah Palin in the televised vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008 - take that, Cindy!}}

*{{Q|Drill, baby, drill!|October 2, 2008 VP debate}}

===about Sarah Palin===
*{{Q|[[Margaret Thatcher|Lady Thatcher]] will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts.|An aide to the first female [[Prime Minister of the United Kingdom]]<ref>[http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/author/timstanley/ Tim Stanley] (June 12, 2011), [http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/timstanley/100091840/the-margaret-thatcher-sarah-palin-snub-exposes-the-growing-gulf-between-british-and-american-conservatives/ The Margaret Thatcher-Sarah Palin snub exposes the growing gulf between British and American conservatives], ''[[Daily Telegraph|Daily Telegraph (Telegraph Blogs)]]''</ref>}}

*{{Q|This is what the Republican Party has done to us this year: it has placed within reach of the Oval Office a woman who is a religious fanatic and a proud, boastful ignoramus.|[[Christopher Hitchens]]<ref>http://www.slate.com/id/2203120/?wpisrc=newsletter</ref>}}

*{{Q|Elitism in this sense is not about educational or class credentials, not about where you went to school or whether you use "summer" as a verb. It is, rather, about the pursuit of excellence no matter where you started out in life. [[Andrew Jackson|Jackson]], [[Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]], [[Truman]], [[Ike|Eisenhower]], [[Lyndon Johnson|Johnson]], [[Richard M. Nixon|Nixon]], [[Gerald Ford|Ford]], [[Jimmy Carter|Carter]], [[Ronald Reagan|Reagan]] and [[Bill Clinton|Clinton]] were born to ordinary families, but they spent their lives doing extraordinary things, demonstrating an interest in, and a curiosity about, the world around them. This is much less evident in Palin's case.|Jon Meacham, '''''Newsweek'''''<ref>[http://www.newsweek.com/id/162396  The Palin Problem]</ref>}}

*{{Q|I think she has pretty thoroughly — and probably irretrievably — proven that she is not up to the job of being president of the United States.|[[David Frum]], conservative writer.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/30/us/politics/30palin.html?_r=2&hp&oref=slogin&oref=slogin New York Times article.]</ref> Frum believes comparisons to Dan Quayle to be unfair… to [[Dan Quayle]].}}

*{{Q|Caribou Barbie is one nutty puppy.|Maureen Dowd, '''''New York Times'''''<ref name=dowd>[http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/05/opinion/05dowd.html Now Sarah's Folly]</ref>}}

*{{Q|What looked like a secret wedding turned out to be a public unraveling as the GOP implosion continued: Sarah wanted everyone to know that she’s not having fun and people are being mean to her and she doesn’t feel like finishing her first term as governor.|Maureen Dowd, '''''New York Times'''''<ref name=dowd/>}}

*{{Q|During the presidential campaign, Palin’s deep ignorance about most aspects of foreign and domestic policy provided her with a powerful political reason not to submit to interviews.|Todd S. Purdum, '''''Vanity Fair'''''<ref>[http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2009/08/sarah-palin200908 It Came from Wasilla]</ref>}}

*{{Q|...George W. Bush and Sarah Palin. They are both semiliterate at best. They both exude self-confidence. And they both claim a direct relationship with God...She is a very, very dangerous person.|Harold Bloom, '''''VICE''''<ref>http://www.viceland.com/int/v15n12/htdocs/harold-bloom-431.php</ref>}}

*{{Q|...now that we have had a chance to watch her for some seven weeks, I don't believe she's ready to be president of the United States, which is the job of the [[Dick Cheney|vice president]].|Colin Powell, '''''Meet the Press'''''<ref>http://www.nbcnews.com/id/27266223/#.U0YcfFeebMA</ref>}}

*{{Q|That woman is an idiot.|[[Keith Olbermann]]}}

==Irony meter==
{{main|Irony meter}}
Not unlike so many things in and around the world of fundamentalist Christianity, Ms. Palin launched attacks against Obama that rather push the limits of [[irony meter|Irony Tolerance]].{{TM}}

*On October 5, she began whining about Obama's relationship with his "pal," ex-domestic terrorist [[Bill Ayers]].  She neglected to tell the audience that Obama was 8 when Ayers was attacking this country, and that the "palling around" amounted to sitting on a committee together.  In making this attack she forgot that she, herself, ''every night'' (or thereabouts) is quite literally in bed with someone who, as late as 2001, believed it was critical for Alaska to secede from the Union.  

*On October 6, she began attacks about Mr. Obama's preacher, the Rev. Wright, and his political stances, while forgetting that she has a rather reckless, opinionated, witch-hunting, [[Antisemitism|anti-Semitic]] preacher, Rev. Muthee, in her own church in Wasilla, whom she has credited with helping her to win her governor's post thanks to his laying-on-of-hands and [[prayer]]s to protect her from "all forms of [[witchcraft]]."

==Awards==
*[[Image:Sarah palin dodo sm.jpg|thumb|right|The award, complete with citation]]In September 2008, Sarah Palin was awarded the "Rubber [[Dodo]] Award" by the center for Biological Diversity.<ref>[http://www.biologicaldiversity.org/news/press_releases/2008/palin-09-17-2008.html Press release]. "Palin Has Sought to Remove Endangered Species Act Protection for the Polar Bear, Suppressed and Lied About State Global Warming Studies, and Denied That Global Warming Is Caused by Greenhouse Gas Emissions"</ref>
{{clear}}

==Nicknames==
{{collist|3|
*Sarah, the Barracuda
*(Half-)Baked Alaskan
*Bible Spice
*Caribou Barbie
*The Tundra Twit/Tart
*Sarah Failin'
*Failin' Palin
*Half-Governor
*Mighty and Glorious Messianic Savior of the Holy Order of the Far Right
*MILF (Moron I'd Like to Forget)
*The Moosiah
*Pit bull in lipstick (according to herself)
*Rambette
*Saint Sarah of Wasilla
*Sarah Punchline
*Joan of Arctic
*The Whore of Babble-on
*Lady Blah-blah
*Vampy, as in "Grampy and Vampy," the 2008 GOP Presidential ticket
*Sarah Stoopid
*Hello Quitty
*The Quitter From Wasilla
*Princess Iquitarod
*Princess Dumbass of the Northwoods
*Money Boo-Boo
*Snowflake Snooki
*Klondike Kardashian
*The Polar Poltroon
*Denali Dingbat
*Post Turtle<ref>[http://www.snopes.com/politics/humor/postturtle.asp Snopes on the "post turtle"]</ref>
}}

==Sarahgrams==
{{collist|3|
*Hi anal rasp
*Has anal rip
*Has air plan
*A sharp nail
*Las piranha
*Sharia plan
*Par à la shin
*Alas, φ ran
*Liar! Ah snap!
*Ran as phail
*I has anal PR
*Anal parish
}}

and [http://wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=sarah+palin&t=1000 so many more...]

==Songs==
*"Homecoming Queen's Got a [[Gun]]"<ref>By Julie Brown, thank you Stephanie Miller.  Julie has also recorded an updated version, ''The Ex-beauty Queen's Got a Gun''.  "Oh no, I winged a homo!"</ref>
*"I am Palin, Hear Me Roar"<ref>[http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CB0QtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DsmlHvCSTnRk&ei=miGjU7uvM4qfyATgr4CQAQ&usg=AFQjCNF2kj81Z49ArP6v1CLS8MCzsB0J6w&sig2=jJg7_00nInYhwqyGrj52lg&bvm=bv.69411363,d.aWw Drew and Mike Looney tune]</ref>

==Parody==
*Tina Fey's (uncanny) impersonation of Palin won her an Emmy in 2009.
*Hustler produced a series of [[porn|adult films]] titled ''Who's Nailin' Paylin?'', featuring legendary porn actress {{wpl|Lisa Ann}} portraying a character named "Serra Paylin." (Don't watch it, we beg of you.)
*''Iron Sky'' (2012) showed what the world would be like if she was president<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uimh2EBB1yQ "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uimh2EBB1yQ"]</ref>

==See also==
{{collist|2|
*[[American Taliban]]
*[[Child abuse]]
*[[Dan Quayle]], [[George H.W. Bush]]'s VP. Similarly stupid, and only slightly more moderate.
*[[Fractal wrongness]]
*[[Gotcha argument]]
*[[Jesusland]]
*[[Joe the Plumber]]
*[[Lamestream media]]
*[[Lisa Murkowski]]
*[[Phyllis Schlafly]]
*[[Kamala Harris]] - Thankfully, the first female vice president was ''not'' a complete crackpot.
===Some wingnuts who got the Sarah Palin Stamp of Approval<sup>TM</sup>===
*[[Sharron Angle]]
*[[Michele Bachmann]]
*[[Mary Fallin]]
*[[Christine O'Donnell]]
*[[Rand Paul]]
*[[Allen West]]
*[[Donald Trump]]<ref>http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/20/us/politics/donald-trump-sarah-palin.html?_r=0</ref>
}}

==Further reading==
*''Going Rouge: Sarah Palin, An American Nightmare'' (2009) OR Books [[Special:Booksources/9781873262511|ISBN 978-1873262511]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abZLjIpHzj8 ''The Palin Presidency''] trailer
*[http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2009/07/palin-speech-edit-200907 Palin's Resignation: The Edited Version], ''Vanity Fair''
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNUfDYGUueE Morbid Curiosity Leading Many Voters To Support Palin], ''The Onion''
*[http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/sarah-palin-family-reportedly-involved-drunken-brawl Mortal Combat!]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

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