The Brick Testament

[[File:Elbe Spurling with book.jpg|thumb|right|165px|Spurling with a copy of the Brick Bible.]]
{{Biblenav}}
'''The Brick Testament''' is an ongoing project created by '''Elbe Spurling'''<ref group=note>[https://m.facebook.com/thebrickbible/photos/a.484320945927.288646.30240090927/10153162021940928/?type=1&fref=nf Formerly known as Brendan Smith, as of 2015, she is known as Elbe Spurling], "a blue-haired [[transgender]], [[lesbian]], [[atheist]] artist". She continues to use Brendan Smith as her pen name.</ref> in 2001. It is the largest, most comprehensive illustrated [[Bible]] in the world, featuring over 4500 images and more than 400 stories.<ref>[http://www.thebrickbible.com/legacy/faq/index.html The Brick Testament About]</ref> Not every book in the Bible is included; for example, it's missing a few epistles and some books from minor prophets, but all the big players are here, such as [[Genesis]] and [[Revelation]], and it has plenty of material from the [[Old Testament]], such as the [[Books of Kings]], [[Books of Samuel]], and [[Joshua]].

There are two versions. The original version is called "The Brick Testament"; all the illustrations have their own web pages, and it's kept around as a legacy version. The new '''The Brick Bible''' version features the same material, but it also has some parts from [[Daniel]] and [[Jonah]], and stories are shown in a comic-book style slideshow where speech bubbles and text buttons pop up on a timer, so you can enjoy some light Iron Age reading hands-free. There are also print versions, with line of books tailored for the kiddies.

And the cool part is, its illustrations are depictions assembled out of Lego&reg;. Some of them really cast the Bible in a new light, offer a unique interpretation of events, or even get a little snarky.
*"On Anger and Insults" points out that if [[Jesus]] says people who call others fools deserve [[Hell|hellfire]], then by his own standard, ''Jesus'' should go to hell since he's called the Pharisees fools quite a few times.<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/the_teachings_of_jesus/on_anger_and_insults/mt05_22plk11_42p40pmt23_17.html On Anger and Insults (Matthew 5:22, Luke 11:42, 40, Matthew 23:17)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref> In fact, many of the illustrations categorized under "The Teachings of Jesus" point out JC's [[hypocrisy]] and flaws in his teachings.
*On a similar note, {{bible|Deuteronomy|13|1|6}} and its advice on false prophets are illustrated with Jesus's own miracles and death.<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/the_law/false_prophets/dt13_01.html False Prophets], ''The Brick Testament''</ref> 
*[[Gog and Magog]] as a futuristic city imported from 50s sci-fi.<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/revelation/god_burns_remaining_humans_to_death/rv20_08.html God Burns Remaining Humans to Death (Revelation 20:8)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref> Lego fans might get a kick out of all the Classic Space torso parts on display. 
*The third Horseman of the Apocalypse (the one usually called "Famine") as a corporate executive.<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/revelation/god_tortures_kills_billions/rv06_05-06.html God Tortures, Kills Billions (Revelation 6:5-6)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref> Zing!
*{{bible|Revelation|12|7}} is already super '''''metal'''''. How can you make a battle between an army of angels and a galaxy-sized dragon with its own army of evil angels even more metal? Why, add guns and cannons of course!<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/revelation/satan_thrown_to_earth/rv12_07a.html Satan Thrown to Earth (Revelation 12:7)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref>
*{{bible|Revelation|7|4}} being depicted with...uncomfortably [[Holocaust]]-like imagery.<Ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/revelation/144000_jews_saved/rv07_04a.html 144,000 Jews Saved (Revelation 7:4)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref> And in case that wasn't [[Nazi analogies|Godwinian]] enough for you, the ones for {{bible|Romans|13|1}}, {{bible|Romans|9|14}}, and {{bible|Luke|9|27}} are far more overt with it.<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/epistles/on_authority/01_rm13_01.html On Authority (Romans 13:1)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref><ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/epistles/on_justice/01_rm09_14.html On Justice (Romans 9:14)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref><ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/the_teachings_of_jesus/on_love/lk06_27b.html On Love (Luke 9:27)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref>
*A pretty practical reason for not following {{bible|1 Corinthians|14|34}} ("Let your women keep silence in the churches").<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/epistles/on_women/07_1c14_34.html On Women (1 Corinthians 14:34)], ''The Brick Testament'' </ref>

Other examples are just plain funny:
*Following {{bible|Matthew|18|8}} will apparently turn you into a pirate.<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/the_teachings_of_jesus/on_self-mutilation/mt18_08c.html On Self-Mutilation (Matthew 18:8)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref>
*The Brick Testament has the ''true'' [[Biblical literalism|literalist interpretion]] of "God raised..." in [[Judges]].<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/judges/god_sells_israelites_into_slavery/jg03_09b.html God Sells Israelites Into Slavery (Judges 3:9)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref> Likewise with "To this day..." in [[Joshua]].<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/joshua/massacre_of_jericho/jos06_25.html Massacre of Jericho (Joshua 6:25)]</ref><ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/joshua/family_stoned_burned/jos07_26a.html Family Stoned, Burned (Joshua 7:26)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref>
*David apparently invented the "yo mama" joke.<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/david_vs_saul/davids_strong_men/2s23_09.html David's Strong Men (2 Samuel 23:9)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref>
*Stoning a couple on their wedding is awful, but The Brick Testament does find a way to inject some dark comedy into a dark verse.<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/the_teachings_of_jesus/on_divorce/mt05_32a.html On Divorce (Matthew 5:32)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref>
*You know how {{bible|1 Samuel|28}} has Saul visit a place called Endor? It refers to the village rather than the moon from ''[[Fun:Star Wars|Return of the Jedi]]'' here, but as a nod to the film, there's an Ewok head in the background of the illustration for 1 Samuel 28:9.<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/david_vs_saul/saul_and_the_necromancer/1s28_09.html Saul and the Necromancer (1 Samuel 28:9)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref> The two guys that accompany Saul also have the torsos and heads used in LEGO's previous minifigure versions of Luke Skywalker.
*{{bible|Luke|6|17|35}}'s lessons on love and forgiveness are depicted with...[[George W. Bush]] and [[Osama Bin Laden]]? Also, Dubya apparently has two mistresses<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/the_teachings_of_jesus/on_love/lk06_32.html On Love (Luke 6:32)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref> and is in league with Big Oil execs, who all have evil mustaches.<ref>[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/the_teachings_of_jesus/on_love/lk06_33.html On Love (Luke 6:33)], ''The Brick Testament''</ref> (This is going too far, really: there's no reason to think Bush ever had mistresses.)

The site goes out of its way to point out [[sex]] and violence you don't usually associate with the Bible and many of the less savory biblical scenes, such as The [[Iron Chariots]].<ref>[http://www.thebrickbible.com/legacy/judges/iron_chariots/jg01_19a.html Iron chariots]</ref> For more fun, read some of the negative online reviews of this book on Amazon, and you'll find that [[Christians]] are shocked &mdash; shocked! &mdash; at graphic Lego depiction of some scenes of their Holy Book ([[tl;dr]]), and are also indignant that an atheist would do this.

==External links==
*[http://thebrickbible.com/ The Brick Bible]
*[https://thebrickbible.com/legacy The Brick Testament]
==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}
==References==
{{reflist|2}}
{{biblebox}}
{{apolbox}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Brick Testament, The}}
[[Category:Parodists]]
[[Category:Bible analysis]]
[[Category:LGBTQ people]]

Categories: Parodists, Bible analysis, LGBTQ people