Mike Huckabee

{{Bronze}}
[[File:Huckabee-SF-CC-024.jpg|thumb|165px|"Sir, the Nixonbot appears to be going critical!"]]{{uspolitics}}{{cquote|There’s only one explanation for it, and it’s not a human one. It’s the same power that helped [[Jesus|a little boy with two fish and five loaves]] feed a crowd of five thousand people. That’s the only way that our campaign can be doing what it’s doing...And it defies all explanation, it has confounded the pundits. And I’m enjoying every minute of them trying to figure it out, and until they look at it, from a, just experience beyond human, they’ll never figure it out.|||Huckabee on his poll numbers, before he [[Irony|lost]]<ref>[http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/huckabee_god_wants_me_to_be_president/ "Divine Providence Helps My Poll Numbers"], [[Liberty University]] Convocation Ceremony, 2007.</ref>}}

'''Michael Dale "Mike" "Bubba" "Hucksterbee"<ref>[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maureen-costello/meet-mike-hucksterbee_b_861905.html Meet Mike Hucksterbee] by Maureen Costello (05/14/2011 12:30 pm EDT) ''Huffington Post''.</ref> Huckabee''' {{lived|1955|}} is a former governor of the State of [[Arkansas]], was a candidate for the [[2008 U.S. Presidential Election|2008 United States presidential election]], and jumped aboard the [[Clown Car]] once again in 2015.<ref>Marche, Stephen. [http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a36736/mike-huckabee-israel-iran-obama-holocaust-comment/ Huckabee Tests Just How Stupid Americans Will Be About the Middle East]. Esquire blogs. July 28, 2015. Retrieved July 29 2015.</ref> He surprised everyone by winning the Iowa Republican caucus in 2008. He is a Baptist minister, and as a [[Young earth creationism|young earth creationist]], rejects [[evolution]], among other [[Branches of science you have to ignore to believe in Young Earth Creationism|elements]] of modern science like gravity and math. [[Stopped_Clock|One of Huckabee's greatest victories was losing over one hundred pounds, and then turning that energy towards making the kids of Arkansas healthier as well]] (Huckabee has since gained quite a bit of that weight back). In 2008, Huckabee polled first in the Iowa Caucuses, and third in the New Hampshire Primary. He stayed in the race even after the party coalesced around [[John McCain]], claiming that he "majored in miracles, not in math"—which is probably not the best background for someone who's supposed to deal with a budget deficit or [[reality]]. He was also rumored to be a potential contender in [[2012_U.S._Presidential_Election|2012]], but eventually decided that he liked his [[Fox News]] gig better after all. He did run again in 2016 but dropped out after an also-ran showing in the Iowa caucuses. From 2017 to 2025 he hosted a revival of his old Fox News show, ''Huckabee'', on [[Trinity Broadcasting Network]]. Afterward, he became the ambassador to [[Israel]] during the second [[Donald Trump]] administration, being a staunch supporter of Israel's [[war crime]]s and a denier of the Gaza [[genocide]].<ref>[https://www.counterpunch.org/2025/08/29/mike-huckabees-faith-based-diplomacy/ Mike Huckabee’s Faith-Based Diplomacy], Charles Pierson, ''CounterPunch'' 29 August 2025</ref>

While Huckabee was Governor of Arkansas he was convinced by Rick Mercer, a Canadian comedian, to congratulate Canada on "preserving your national igloo". This was aired on the [[Canadian Broadcasting Corporation|CBC]]'s series ''Talking to Americans''.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHw0FqD3RFw</ref>

==Leadership==
[[image:PrayForHuck.jpg|thumb|<center>Huckabee's Ideal Cabinet.</center>]]
Despite some reservations amongst the old guard of the religious right—who question Huckabee's economic populism—Huckabee became the favorite of the younger evangelical movement, who admire him for his open commitment to "Christian values" and their place in government.<ref>http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/13/us/politics/13huckabee.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin</ref>

Given Huckabee's 2008 electoral success (he won in Iowa, and continued to get up to double-digit vote counts against the presumptive nominee McCain through the last of the primaries), though, it is necessary to reflect upon just what the success of this kind of candidate would mean for the rest of the United States of America. Namely, how much would Huckabee's religious vitality have affected a Huckabee presidency, and would it have affected it negatively?

The answers are "greatly" and "yes".<ref>[http://articles.latimes.com/2007/dec/31/nation/na-huckabee31 Huckabee's double-edged faith] ''Los Angeles Times''.</ref> Huckabee has said openly that, in his mind, America ''must'' be under the rule of God: ''his'' God.<ref>http://thinkprogress.org/2008/01/15/huckabee-amend-the-constitution-to-gods-standards/</ref>
{{cquote|I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God. And that's what we need to do is amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than trying to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family.}}
In short, Huckabee advocates nothing short of [[theocracy]].

He is not a man who uses religion to ''guide'' logical actions, or to inform a logical inquiry; he uses religion as the beginning and end of his political reasoning. For example, during his tenure as Arkansas Governor, Huckabee refused to sign disaster-relief legislation, for the mere reason that the legal boilerplate in the bill seemed to constitute a rhetorical slight to God. The machinery of Government ground to a halt, to stall a trifling offense to the Almighty.<ref>http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B0DE0DB173BF932A15750C0A961958260</ref> Conduct on the campaign trail suggests that Huckabee's tendency to subordinate logic and ''governmental responsibilities'' to petty religious squabbles is undiminished—in August, Huckabee (then trailing in the polls) engaged in a very public and very personal religious squabble with the Religious Right's other darling, [[Sam Brownback]].<ref>http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/08/02/a-righteous-e-mail-battle/</ref> Insofar as the cult of leadership requires one to rise above themselves to guide the nation, Mike Huckabee is no leader. He's also willing to threaten Christians with eternal damnation if they don't vote the way he wants them to, so he's no paragon of logic or reasoned debate with his (supposed) fellow-believers either.<ref>http://now.msn.com/mike-huckabee-asks-christian-voters-to-uphold-their-values Mike Huckabee warns Christians their votes are 'recorded in eternity',] now.msn.com</ref> Simply put, in terms of manners he's a complete dick.

After the 2012 election. Huckabee convinced himself that Mitt Romney's defeat was due to the fact that Not Enough (True) Christians came out to vote despite the fact that 78% of the electorate identified themselves as "Christian". If you're currently hearing [[No true Scotsman |bagpipes]], there may be a reason for it.<ref>
[http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/huckabee-any-time-we-lose-its-because-christians-just-didnt-show-and-vote Huckabee: Any Time We Lose 'It's Because Christians Just Didn't Show Up and Vote',] Right Wing Watch.</ref>

==Evangelism as an influence on Huckabee's candidacy==
Huckabee is a [[theocrat]].<ref>[https://washingtonmonthly.com/2015/01/24/mike-huckabee-pushes-for-an-american-theocracy/ Mike Huckabee Pushes for an American Theocracy] by David Atkins (January 24, 2015) ''Washington Monthley''.</ref>

===Huckabee and covenant marriage ===
He is, in some ways, a really creepy guy. He worked hard to bring "covenant [[marriage]]" to Arkansas. [[Covenant marriage]] is a formal status in which the couple is not eligible for "no-fault divorce"—people who sign up for this form of "super marriage" must show a reason for divorce such as abuse or neglect. This is as opposed to the usual situation where "irreconcilable differences" are sufficient cause for divorce and is similar to how divorce laws worked before 1970. Obviously, this was designed to bring the definition of "marriage" more into line with his [[Christian]] [[fundamentalist]] viewpoint. After the passage of the law Huckabee converted his own marriage to a "covenant marriage"—though he is the only high profile Arkansan to have done so.

Actions such as this should be a warning to those non-evangelicals who would support Huckabee for President, and a reminder that for the evangelical politician, there is no division between church and state.

===Huckabee and rape===
He is, in other ways, ''still'' a really creepy guy. In the wake of 
fucknut
 Missouri Senate candidate [[Todd Akin | Todd Akin's]] 
gaffe
 "misstatement" concerning the subject of "legitimate rape" and whether or not strangely anonymous doctors actually told him that the female body could prevent pregnancy in the wake of such an event,<ref>[http://freethoughtblogs.com/dispatches/2012/08/20/akin-rape-victims-dont-get-pregnant/ Akin: Rape Victims Don’t Get Pregnant,] ''Dispatches from the Culture Wars''</ref> he used his radio show to suggest that rapes—although "horrible tragedies"—could produce admirable human beings.<ref>[http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-pn-huckabee-horrible-rapes-created-some-extraordinary-people-20120820,0,7976008.story Huckabee to Akin: 'Horrible' rapes created some extraordinary people,] James Rainey, ''Los Angeles Times''</ref><ref>[Gawker.com: [http://archive.ph/http://gawker.com/5936386/mike-huckabee-would-like-to-remind-you-that-rape-has-created-some-extraordinary-people archive.ph], [http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://gawker.com/5936386/mike-huckabee-would-like-to-remind-you-that-rape-has-created-some-extraordinary-people web.archive.org] Mike Huckabee Would Like to Remind You That Rape Has Created Some Extraordinary People,] ''Gawker''</ref> This seems rather beside the point, since using the supposed positive outcome of a vicious sexual assault to provide political cover for a candidate's verbal blunder seems—to be accurate—really creepy.

He also paroled rapists and murderers vouched for by fundie pastors, arguing these criminals see the divine light while in prison. Wayne DuMont is one of these, a violent criminal who committed several murders and rapes and murdered again after being freed.<ref>[http://www.salon.com/2007/12/14/huckabee_11/ Huckabee and criminals: It’s worse than just Wayne DuMond]</ref>

===Huckabee on school prayer===
{{Cquote|How did we move in one generation from a society with a shared, confident sense of right to a society of relativism and moral decay? The first step to answering that question is to admit there isn't just one answer. I've heard that it all started when we took prayer out of schools. That's a [[bullshit|simplistic answer]]. It wasn't just [[Classroom prayer|prayer in schools]]; it wasn't just TV; it wasn't just Watergate; it wasn't just welfare.<ref>''Character Makes a Difference'', Mike Huckabee. B&H 2007 ISBN: 978-0805446777</ref>}}

Mike Huckabee blamed the [[Sandy Hook massacre]] on the [[separation of church and state]] saying "We ask why there is violence in our schools, but we have systematically removed [[God]] from our schools."<ref>[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/14/mike-huckabee-school-shooting_n_2303792.html Mike Huckabee: Newtown Shooting No Surprise, We've 'Systematically Removed God' From Schools], Huffington Post</ref>
Does this really have to be debunked?

===Huckabee the scientist===
He has used the infamous [[bumblebee argument]] to try to show that [[science doesn't know everything]]. Speaking about the bumblebee he said:<ref>[https://content.time.com/time/politics/article/0,8599,1689522,00.html Huckabee Riding the Bounce] by Jay Newton-Small (Nov. 30, 2007) ''Time''.</ref>{{efn|This line was almost certainly paraphrased from the opening of the 2007 film ''Bee Movie''. {{cquote|According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.<ref>[http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/a1/bee-movie-script-transcript-seinfeld.html Bee Movie Script - Dialogue Transcript] ''Script-o-Rama''.</ref>}}}}
{{Cquote|The fat bumblebee, whose ability to fly has baffled generations of scientists. The bumblebee, being unaware of these scientific facts, goes ahead and flies anyway and makes honey and pollinates the other plants.}}

Logic and modern aeronautical science notwithstanding, Huckabee clings to the notion that science is to be ignored.

He also has reservations about evolution. Apart from the famous "hand raising" at the first Republican debate (where he, [[Tom Tancredo]], and Sam Brownback raised their hands to the question, "who doesn't believe in evolution?"), he said recently:<ref>[http://blog.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2007/11/02/adam_eve_and_huckabee.html Huck not primate]</ref> "If you want to believe that you and your family came from [[Australopithecus|apes]], that's fine. I'll accept that. I just don't happen to think that I did."

In a 2008 episode of the ''[[Colbert Report]]'', Huckabee reiterated his belief that, regarding [[evolution]], "it's all a farce."<ref>Colbert Report, 15 minutes through, 9 Jan 2008. [http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/147288/january-09-2008/mike-huckabee Video on Colbert Nation]</ref>

Optimists among us may hope that, while Huckabee's private views on religion are surely radical, they would not seep into his political life. His record as governor, however, conveys the exact opposite conclusion: under Huckabee's tenure, science education languished, as if the modern scientific apparatus were the target of a renewed witch hunt.<ref>http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/01/how_bad_could_huckabee_be.php</ref>

===Huckabee the historian===
Mr. Huckabee has been careful to avoid actually saying that he believes the [[Young Earth creationism|Earth is six thousand years old]]. When he was asked by Wolf Blitzer if the creation of the Earth occurred six thousand years ago and only took six days, as stated in the [[Old Testament]], Huckabee said, "[[How do you know? Were you there?|I don't know. I wasn't there.]]"<ref>[http://papastraighttalk.blogspot.com/2007/12/huckabee-preacher-or-president.html Huckabee not present at creation!]</ref>

===Huckabee the hunter===
He has claimed that [[angels]] guide his bullets when he hunts. Seriously.<ref>[http://www.pressconnects.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080106/COLUMNISTS03/801060323/1005/ Angels guide his bullets]</ref>
{{Cquote|I decided that one way or another, this hunt is about to be over, because I can't stand any more of this cold. And somehow by the grace of God, when I squeezed the trigger, my Weatherby .300 Mag., which has got to be the greatest gun, I think, ever made in the form of a rifle -- for my sake in hunting, I've never squeezed the trigger and not gotten something -- did its work and somehow the angels took that bullet and went right to the antelope, and my hunt was over in a wonderful way.}}
Apparently the angels didn't guide [[Dick_Cheney#Reputation|Dick Cheney's birdshot]].

===Huckabee the lawyer===
Mr. Huckabee has made the outrageous suggestion that the Ten Commandments form the basis of US law.<ref>[http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2007/12/20/politics/fromtheroad/entry3636263.shtml Huck and the Ten Commandments]</ref> In fact, at least half of the Ten Commandments are completely incompatible with the [[First Amendment]] to the American constitution. 

See our [[Ten Commandments]] article for reasons why they would make a very ''bad'' basis for any country's law.

In a statement that harked back to the days of [[Orval Faubus]]' school [[segregation]] in Arkansas, Huckabee stated that individual states can ignore [[Supreme Court]] rulings on [[gay marriage]].<ref>[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/21/mike-huckabee-gay-marriage-supreme-court_n_6512042.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592 Mike Huckabee: States Can Ignore Supreme Court On Gay Marriage]</ref>
(Hint: they can't)

==The art of the publicity stunt—a.k.a., The 'Huck and Chuck' Show==
When Huckabee was lagging in the polls, he resorted to a number of publicity stunts to raise awareness of, well, his existence &mdash; including several appearances on the TV show ''The Colbert Report''. When Huckabee's poll numbers lagged below 5% in November, for example, he even promised host [[Stephen Colbert]] the vice presidential spot on his eventual (and, then, impossible) Republican presidential ticket. Later, Huckabee reaffirmed his commitment to Colbert.<ref>''The Colbert Report'', 9 Jan 2008.</ref> Despite his front-runner status, fostering the image of the "involved" and "hip" candidate was clearly his goal.

Huckabee also gathered the support of prominent creationist, actor, and butt-of-jokes [[Chuck Norris]]. For example, when Huckabee appeared with him in a TV ad, the candidate proclaimed: "My plan to secure the border? Two words: Chuck Norris."<ref>[http://www.bostonherald.com/news/2008/view.bg?articleid=1050735 'Huck and Chuck' show]</ref> So far, Huck has remarkably coasted on [[Style over substance fallacy|style more than substance]], leading to wild support among evangelicals (who merely demand to see a creationist before they give their support), and wild opposition amongst the Republican Old Guard.<ref>http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/13/us/politics/13huckabee.html?_r=1&hp=&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1200168121-P/vXr9rdiSTOk/f9uFnYTg</ref>

==Parodist or not?==
As the election cycle unwound, and we were treated to Governor Huckabee being on the [[Stephen Colbert|Colbert Report]] for the nth time, Governor Huckabee making fun of his [[math]] skills and lack of awareness of the primary delegate structures on Saturday Night Live, and Governor Huckabee playing bass in random pickup bands at hoot nights…<ref>[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/20/jon-stewart-mike-huckabee_n_6505176.html Huckabee plays bass for [[Ted Nugent]]]</ref> the question had to be asked: "Governor Huckabee… [[Poe's Law|parodist?… or the real thing?]]" We may never know how this stalwart of strangeness would have run the [[United States]], since he won't (at least, we hope not<ref> He's back. https://www.mikehuckabee.com/home</ref>).

==Further proof of the previous sentence==
Huckabee ran into a controversy concerning his continued support of [[19 Kids and Counting|the Duggar family]] when it was revealed that Josh Duggar had contacts with the police in the past concerning child molestation allegations dating back to when he was a teenager.<ref>[http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/flashback-duggars-call-lgbt-people-threat-child-safety-duggar-resigns-frc Flashback: Duggars Call LGBT People A Threat To Child Safety; Duggar Resigns From FRC,] Right Wing Watch</ref> Huckabee went into attack dog mode on Facebook in the wake of the charges<ref>[http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/mike-huckabee-duggar-family-victim-insensitive-bloodthirst Mike Huckabee: Duggar Family The Victim Of An 'Insensitive Bloodthirst',] Right Wing Watch</ref> and actually seems to have lost a significant amount of his supporters there as a result.<ref>[http://www.rawstory.com/2015/05/mike-huckabees-facebook-fans-tear-him-to-shreds-for-defending-josh-duggar/ Mike Huckabee’s Facebook fans tear him to shreds for defending Josh Duggar,] Raw Story</ref>

In addition, he considers the boycott against Chick-Fil-A for its donations to anti-gay groups "economic terrorism" but is <i>[[Hypocrisy|perfectly fine]]</i> with calling for the exact same policy against Frito-Lay for selling colorful tortilla chips, because, well, [[Homophobia|the "homosexual agenda"]], or something.<ref>[http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/mike-huckabee-boycott-rainbow-doritos-chick-fil-boycott-was-economic-terrorism/ Mike Huckabee: Boycott Rainbow Doritos! But Chick-Fil-A Boycott Was 'Economic Terrorism',] Right Wing Watch</ref>

==Goldbuggery==
{{main|Gold standard (economics)}}
[[File:Huckabee gold socialism.jpg|thumb|center|500px|"Owning [[gold]] is like having natural financial immunity against the plague of [[socialism]]." — Hucksterbee]]
Following in the footsteps of [[Ron Paul|another failed presidential candidate]], the Huckster has started promoting gold investment.<ref>[https://archive.ph/yKzM6 How to Diversify Your Savings in Uncertain Times With GOLD] ''Gold Alliance'' (archived from 13 Jun 2022 16:17:44 UTC).</ref>

==See also==
*[[FairTax]]: Huck's magic solution for the economy.

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

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