Mars

[[File:Mars and Acidalia - GPN-2000-000925.jpg|thumb|165px|The red planet, Mars.]]
{{Astronomy}}
{{cquote|Mars is essentially in the same orbit. Mars is somewhat the same distance from the [[sun]], which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and [[water]]. If there is water, that means there is [[oxygen]]. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.|||then-Vice [[Dan Quayle]], while head of the National Space Council, eliciting a massive facepalm from anyone who knows the slightest thing about Mars.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1989/09/01/a-quayle-vision-of-mars/f00ca97e-614b-4a9b-b14c-697adc7754f3/ A Quayle Vision of Mars] by Kathy Sawyer (September 1, 1989) ''The Washington Post'' (archived from December 23, 2021).</ref>}}

'''Mars''' is the fourth planet in our [[solar system]]. It is named after the [[Roman Empire|Roman]] [[god]] of  war (known as Ares to the [[Greece|Greeks]]), due to its reddish hue. Since the beginning of the Space Age, it has been the most likely candidate for eventual planetary colonization, although we probably won't make it there for a long time.

==Conditions on Mars==
[[File:MarsSunsetCut.jpg|thumb|300px|It's cold and dark and home is far away.]]
Mars has a diameter of 6790 kilometers which is roughly half the size, and 15% of the volume, of [[Earth]].  Its small size and low density, relative to the Earth, give it a surface gravity only 38% as strong as Earth's.<ref name="NASA">[https://web.archive.org/web/20100612092806/http://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/planetary/factsheet/marsfact.html Mars Fact Sheet] ''NASA'' (archived from June 12, 2020).</ref>

Historically, while the white areas seen on Mars' poles with a telescope were correctly identified as polar caps of water and carbon dioxide ice, the dark patches ("albedo features") that can be seen there the same way (see picture to the upper right) were interpreted first as seas, giving birth to a nomenclature that while today obsolete is still used by amateur [[astronomer]]s who observe the planet<ref>{{wpa|Classical albedo features on Mars</ref> and has been inherited by the geological features present where such albedo features are located (i.e., the old Nix{{efn|Latin for "snow"}} Olympica and Mare{{efn|Latin for "sea"}} Cimmerium are respectively now the {{wpl|Olympus Mons}} and {{wpl|Terra Cimmeria}} now), and later on as it was clear, Mars had no large amounts of surface water as vegetation changing its intensity and extension as seasons changed through the Martian year until spacecrafts finally found they were simply darker surfaces exposed after windstorms had swept away the dust, with those variations explained by the effects of said winds as the late [[Carl Sagan]] had suggested years before.<ref>[https://www.nature.com/articles/223791a0 Windblown Dust on Mars] by Carl Sagan & James B. Pollack (1969) ''Nature'' 223:791-794.</ref>

Mars is also conspicuous due to the {{wpl|Martian dichotomy|dichotomy}} that exists between its northern and southern hemispheres, the former lowlands being much flatter than the latter and having a thinner crust with a complex transition zone between both, while the southern hemisphere highlands are much more cratered. Theories have been pushed forth to explain such difference that include the northern hemisphere being basically a ''huge'' impact crater, however none is fully satisfactory.

The atmosphere on Mars consists mostly of carbon dioxide with only 1% of the gas pressure of Earth's atmosphere. Dust in the Martian atmosphere gives it a light pink color during the day, and at sunset it turns a very lovely teal.<ref name="NASA"/>

The planet currently has no magnetic field, but geological (or, rather, areological) evidence suggests that it used to have a magnetic field some billions of years in the past. A magnetic field would have kept the solar wind at bay, which would have prevented the early Martian atmosphere from being stripped away into space. It is thought that the shutting down of this magnetic field eventually left us with only the thin ghost of an atmosphere that Mars currently has.<ref name="solar wind">[https://web.archive.org/web/20061010015908/http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2001/ast31jan_1.htm The Solar Wind at Mars] (January 31, 2001) ''Science@Nasa'' (archived from October 10, 2006).</ref>

In March 2019, the ''Journal of Astrobiology and Space Science Reviews'' carried a report that suggested [[life]] may at present exist on Mars. The journal report said that there is [[evidence]] (though it carefully qualifies its claims&nbsp;— the evidence involved does not rise to the level of proof) that there exist at present "[[prokaryote]]s, lichens, and [[fungi]]" growing out of Martian soil.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201107223250/http://journalofastrobiology.com/Mars5.html Evidence of Life on Mars?] by Rhawn Gabriel Joseph (2019) ''Journal of Astrobiology and Space Science Reviews'' 1:40-81.</ref> The journal was apparently renamed as ''Journal of Astrobiology'', some time between 2020-2021.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20200711012239/http://journalofastrobiology.com/ Journal of Astrobiology
and Space Science Research] (archived from July 11, 2020).</ref><ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210801211824/http://journalofastrobiology.com/ Journal of Astrobiology] (archived from August 1, 2021).</ref> The journal, with its sister journal ''Journal of Cosmology'' has come under criticism for poor or no [[peer review]], and for publishing [[fringe]] ideas, and has been called a [[predatory journal]].<ref>{{wpa|Journal of Cosmology|''Journal of Cosmology''}}</ref>

Mars used to have copious amounts of liquid water flowing on its surface, up to and including potential oceans, but with the loss of the Martian primordial atmosphere, the oceans of Mars slowly evaporated into space, leaving behind a cold and dead world in their wake<ref name="solar wind"/> with most of the water in the polar caps and underground.<ref>{{wpa|Water on Mars|the other Wiki}}</ref> The planet was also thought to be geologically dead or mostly so; however recent research suggests {{wpl|Elysium planitia}} is underlaid by a {{wpl|superplume}},<ref>[https://www.nature.com/articles/s41550-022-01836-3 Geophysical evidence for an active mantle plume underneath Elysium Planitia on Mars] by A. Broquet & J. C. Andrews-Hanna (2023) ''Nature Astronomy'' 7:160-169. doi:10.1038/s41550-022-01836-3.</ref> which explains the marsquakes detected by [[NASA]]'s {{wpl|InSight}} mission.

While volcanism on Mars peaked billions of years ago, there is evidence for volcanism having occurred periodically between 500 million to as recently as 2.5 million years ago in the Elysium Planitia. There is also evidence for volcanic activity occurring a mere 53 thousand years ago.<ref>[https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0019103521001779 Evidence for geologically recent explosive volcanism in Elysium Planitia, Mars] by David G. Horvath et al. (2021) ''Icarus'' 365:114499. doi:10.1016/j.icarus.2021.114499.</ref>

===Moons===
Mars has two small moons, Phobos and Deimos ([[Latin]] for "Fear" and "Dread," the sons of the war-god Ares in [[Greek mythology]]). Both are probably captured [[asteroid]]s, and both are very tiny&nbsp;— Phobos is only 10 miles (16km) across at its widest part, and Deimos is half that size.

Phobos has a surprisingly low density, leading some people to speculate that it may be hollow and artificial (and some fringe people to believe that it ''is'' artificial), but the current understanding is that Phobos is a rubble-pile asteroid (an agglomeration of boulders bound by gravity). Another point of interest is the so-called "Phobos monolith," a bright rock jutting out of the surface that casts a long shadow (which suggests an unusual height-to-width ratio). Phobos' orbit is slowly decaying. Astronomers predict that it will eventually crash into the planet. Deimos on the other hand has an expanding orbit. It is expected to break free from its orbit around Mars, hopefully while it's on the side not facing Earth.{{efn|Either way it'll probably just pass us, if it even gets near us.}} It is speculated that Mars has lost hundreds of moons in these ways over the years.

Jonathan Swift referred to two Martian moons in ''Gulliver's Travels'' (published in 1726, more than a century before their discovery in 1877). This has been used as evidence for claims of [[ancient astronauts]] and [[time travel]], neglecting the fact that [[Johannes Kepler]] had speculated about a pair of Martian moons a century before Swift.<ref group=note>Kepler's logic: the Earth has one moon, Jupiter has four (only the [[Galileo Galilei|Galilean]] moons were known at that time), therefore Mars should have two, as 1,2,4 is a progression.</ref>

==Subjugating the planet==
{{cquote|There are things so idiotic that you need $10 billion to believe them.&nbsp;— historian Timothy Snyder, referring to Musk<ref name=onfreedom>''On Freedom'' by Timothy Snyder (2024) Crown. ISBN 9780593728727.</ref>{{rp|204}}}}
{{cquote|It will be far easier to stop the [[greenhouse effect]] on Earth than to find and settle  a suitable exoplanet, or to terraform Mars. Space exploration is a worthy goal, but it is far harder than, and no substitute for, keeping our own planet habitable. The logical sequence is simple: [[Nuclear fusion|fusion reactors]], [[renewable energy]], [[freedom]] on Earth; then fusion rockets, exploration, and discovery in space.|||Snyder<ref name=onfreedom/>{{rp|207}}}}
{{cquote|<nowiki>The idea of terraforming a hellhole like Mars is funny to me. On Earth, basically a perfect planet already, 4-6°C warming = civilization-threatening catastrophe, & one we might go thru w anyway. What are chances we’re competent enough to warm up Martian atmo by 75C & hit bullseye</nowiki><BR><BR>
Corollary: We'll never trash this place so bad w [[nuke]]s or [[climate change]] that somewhere else is a better option. [[K-Pg extinction event|When the asteroid hit 66 mil yrs ago]] it was a nicer day than today on Mars--otherwise no [[animal]] life would have survived. So we better learn to live here. This is it.|||Science journalist Peter Brannen, author of ''The Ends of the World''<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210417225806/twitter.com/PeterBrannen1/status/1072174222967898112 The idea of terraforming a hellhole like Mars is funny to me. On Earth, basically a perfect planet already, 4-6°C warming = civilization-threatening catastrophe, & one we might go thru w anyway. What are chances we’re competent enough to warm up Martian atmo by 75C & hit bullseye] by Peter Brannen (10 Dec. 2018) ''Twitter'' (archived from April 17, 2021).</ref><ref name=becker/>{{rp|240-241}}<ref>''The Ends of the World: Volcanic Apocalypses, Lethal Oceans, and Our Quest to Understand Earth's Past Mass Extinctions'' by Peter Brannen (2017) Ecco. ISBN 0062364804.</ref>}}
Because conditions on Mars are at present more similar to Earth than any other planet, it has long been a prime candidate for eventual colonization among those who believe such a thing should happen. Due to [[climate change]] however, [[Venus]] may more closely resemble Earth in the not too distant future. The only problem about colonizing Mars is that it is no place to raise one's kids, in fact it's [[Heaven#Heaven is hotter than Hell|cold as Hell]].<ref>[https://genius.com/Elton-john-rocket-man-i-think-its-going-to-be-a-long-long-time-lyrics Rocket Man (I Think It’s Going to Be a Long, Long Time)] by Elton John, ''Genius''. "Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids. In fact, it's cold as hell."</ref> The average temperature on Mars is -46°C.  Paypal billionaire-turned-wannabe-[[Henry Ford]] (post-1919) [[Elon Musk]] has an idiotic idea to change all that by nuking the Martian poles.<ref>[https://journals.library.columbia.edu/index.php/cjel/article/view/3728/1535 Deep Space Thinking: What Elon Musk’s Idea to Nuke Mars Teaches Us About Regulating the “Visionaries and Daredevils” of Outer Space] by Thomas J. Herron (2016) ''Columbia Journal of Environmental Law'' 41(3):553-613. doi:10.7916/cjel.v41i3.3728.</ref>

This does not mean that Mars can be made hospitable; very low air pressure (less than 1% of Earth's sea level pressure), no liquid surface water, and an atmosphere of only 0.1% oxygen are just a few of the things that might keep one from packing up one's bags and moving to the Red Planet.

Some of the more foolhardy plans include those of [[Mars One]], which aimed to ship astronauts one-way to Mars by 2025 before it went belly-up in 2019. The trip was to be funded by a reality TV program about the ([[suicide]]) mission (no joke). Most experts agree that Mars One would not have been able to deliver astronauts to Mars. Massachusetts Institute of Technology researchers have estimated that even if colonists reach Mars they would survive for only about two months before succumbing to the elements.<ref>[http://www.theguardian.com/science/shortcuts/2014/oct/15/mars-one-volunteers-live-on-red-planet Will Mars One’s volunteers get to live on the red planet? Yes, briefly: Researchers at Massachusetts Institute of Technology reckon settlers on Mars would all be dead within a few months] (15 Oct 2014 11.00 EDT) ''The Guardian''.</ref>

Of course, the final step of the conquest of Mars is to terraform it, transforming the planet into a more-or-less Earth-like world. {{wpl|Terraforming of Mars|Ideas abound||}}, even if it's unclear if they would work at all. It doesn't help that practically all of these plans share the common weakness of being ''very'' expensive and outside of humans' current [[Technology|technologies]]. And that doesn't even cover the issues related to hypothetical Martian life, even if it amounted to just some [[bacteria]] (which could still [[Pandemic|obliterate vast swathes of any human population in mere months]] due to our complete lack of immunity to them{{efn|It also wouldn't help that we can already barely fight off [[COVID-19|novel]] [[HIV/AIDS|pandemics on ''Earth'']] due to [[Donald Trump|powerful]], [[Xi Jinping|power-hungry]], [[Ronald Reagan|bigoted, victim-blaming]] [[Jair Bolsonaro|idiots]] and [[Willful ignorance|willfully ignorant]] [[Anti-intellectualism|uneducatable morons]] who regard [[Antivax|widespread public]] [[HIV/AIDS denialism|distrust of science]] [[Face masks|and of health guidelines]] as [[War on Science|something desirable]]. And [[goat]] forbid such an alien bug ever make its way into the Earth system.}}), that would surely dislike the process. In short, basically all of the current plans to colonize Mars (in the near future at least) would only be viable in [[science fiction]], not in [[reality]].

In case it needs to be said, terraforming can't be kick-started by simply planting Earth plants on Mars.  Even plants die in a near-vacuum like Martian air, and there's no soil for them to grow in, only regolith.  Soil is much friendlier: it includes nutrients plants need, and symbiotic microbes that help them access those nutrients, etc.  Plus in many places they would be poisoned with perchlorates, and it would be easy for them to be destroyed by radiation, since Mars's atmosphere provides precious little protection from that.
{{cquote|I'd like to die on Mars, just not on impact.|||Musk<ref>[https://www.cnet.com/culture/elon-musk-at-sxsw-id-like-to-die-on-mars-just-not-on-impact/ Elon Musk at SXSW: 'I'd like to die on Mars, just not on impact'] by Daniel Terdiman (March 9, 2013 1:26 p.m. PT) ''CNET''.</ref>}}
{{cquote|The bad news for [Benjamin] Reinhardt [a space colonization fanboy]&nbsp;— and, if we take him at his word, the good news for Musk&nbsp; is that it's very, very easy to die on Mars.|||Adam Becker, astrophysicist<ref name=becker>''More Everything Forever: AI Overlords, Space Empires, and Silicon Valley's Crusade to Control the Fate of Humanity'' by Adam Becker (2025) Basic Books. ISBN 1541619595.</ref>{{rp|218}}}}

==Life on Mars?==
[[File:Mars messages.PNG|thumb|A century ago, the possibility of intelligent life on Mars was taken seriously.]]
[[File:ALH84001 structures.jpg|thumb|left|MARTIANS!]]
As a rocky planet similar to Earth, and massive enough to retain a thin atmosphere if gases were present, Mars has been a historical favorite of science fiction writers and others who speculate about [[extraterrestrial]] life. It is fairly obvious from geographical data and closeup views of sedimentation on the surface that Mars once was home to vast quantities of water in large lakes and oceans. As water is one of the known prerequisites for biological life ''as we know it'', it could be possible that life once existed on Mars, a possibility that has received a boost after the finding of organic compounds there by [[NASA]]'s Curiosity rover.<ref>[https://edition.cnn.com/2018/06/07/us/nasa-mars-curiosity-rover-findings/index.html NASA's Curiosity rover finds organic matter on Mars] by Ashley Strickland (6:07 PM EDT, Thu June 7, 2018) ''CNN''.</ref> With the relatively recent discovery of very dark patches on the surface that are thought to be extremely deep and dark sinkholes and cave systems, the question about life existing ''now'' on Mars has been reopened to serious scrutiny. However, most serious [[exobiology|exobiologists]] think that life is more likely on the [[Jupiter|Jovian]] satellite Europa or [[Saturn|Saturn's]] moon, Enceladus.

===Martian canals===
[[File:Lowell Mars channels.jpg|thumb|A sketch by Percival Lowell depicting the network of Martian canals]]
During the 1877 opposition of Mars, the Italian astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli noticed a network of features on the Martian surface that he called ''canali''&nbsp;— Italian for "channels" but (mis)translated into English as "canals". His observations were corroborated by other astronomers and the [[hypothesis]] that these were artificial canals built by a Martian civilization started to gain followers. A prominent figure among them was the American astronomer Percival Lowell.

There was a slight problem, though&nbsp;— not all astronomers saw these canals. A vigorous scientific debate followed. Experiments demonstrated that canals can occur as an optical illusion. More powerful telescopes were pointed at Mars and found no canals and early spectroscopy found no significant amounts of water. [[Alfred Russel Wallace]] felt so strongly about the canal nonsense that he wrote a book, ''Is Mars Habitable? A Critical Examination of Professor Percival Lowell's Book "Mars and Its Canals", With an Alternative Explanation''.<ref>[https://archive.org/details/cu31924012312017/page/n9/mode/2up ''Is Mars Habitable? A Critical Examination of Professor Percival Lowell's Book "Mars and Its Canals", With an Alternative Explanation''] by Alfred Russel Wallace (1907) Macmillan and Co.</ref> The idea started to fade out after the first decade of the 20<sup>th</sup> century, and was dealt a death blow by photographs returned from spacecraft. The first ones returned were taken by Mariner 4 in its 1965 flyby, and they showed impact craters but no canals. However, it did not photograph much of the planet. Mariners 6 and 7 flew by in 1967, and both spacecraft radioed back pretty much what Mariner 4 had: craters but no canals. Then in 1972, Mariner 9 went into orbit, and it took pictures of nearly all of the planet for the next (Earth) year. Aside from one or two features, there was not a trace of those canals.<ref>''The Planet Mars: A History of Observation and Discovery'' by William Sheehan (1996) ''The University of Arizona Press''.</ref><ref>[http://arxiv.org/abs/0811.2700 Mars Before the Space Age] by Barrie W. Jones (last revised 14 Jan 2009) ''arXiv''.</ref><ref>[http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0019103575900421 The canals of Mars: An assessment after Mariner 9] by Carl Sagan & Paul Fox (1975) ''Icarus'' 25(4):602-612. doi:10.1016/0019-1035(75)90042-1.</ref>

==Probe-eating monster==
A large proportion of (robotic) missions to Mars have failed, earning it the reputation of "the place where probes go to die".<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjiGH9QNiU0 Springtime on Mars], a 
documentary
 re-enactment</ref><ref>[http://www.bryanchristiedesign.com/portfolio.php?illustration=613&category=31&open=31 A nice infographic by Bryan Christie]</ref><ref>[http://www.universetoday.com/13267/the-mars-curse-why-have-so-many-missions-failed/ The "Mars Curse": Why Have So Many Missions Failed?], Universe Today</ref> Some have blamed malevolent extraterrestrial intelligence, but a much more probable cause is shoddy terrestrial engineering. The probe-eating monster may have been squashed by a falling spacecraft, because all recent missions have been successful. (The cruelly-named Phoenix lander was not supposed to recover from the ''ice''.)

After the success of the toy-sized Sojourner rover, brought to Mars by the Pathfinder lander in 1997, NASA decided that they needed ''more'' and ''bigger'' rovers. The result was the Mars Exploration Rover program and its two adorable<ref>[http://xkcd.com/695/ Spirit] ''xkcd''.</ref> solar-powered offspring&nbsp;– {{wpl|Spirit|Spirit}} and {{wpl|Opportunity (rover)|Opportunity|.}} Arriving in 2004, they greatly exceeded their design expectations. Spirit got stuck in soft soil in 2009. After attempts at extracting it failed, it switched to hibernation mode for the Martian winter in March 2010. Attempts to establish communication with it failed and NASA declared that its mission ended two months later. NASA took the next step with the [[car]]-sized, laser-shooting, drill-swinging, [[Nuclear energy|nuclear-powered]] Curiosity<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFEzZarz_TI Mars Science Laboratory Animation] by MarsExplorationRover (Jan 25, 2009) ''YouTube''.</ref> (formerly the Mars Science Laboratory), launched in November 2011. Until June 2018, when a massive dust storm left it with no [[energy]] and NASA declared that its mission ended in February 2019, as no communications were received from it, Opportunity was ''still'' operational albeit many of its systems weren't. Opportunity has been quite likely the most successful rover in the history of space exploration to date, having survived its designed lifespan by ''fifty-seven times''. It has also shattered all long-distance records for space rovers having covered a distance above marathon length at 45.16 km (as of June 2018).<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20220107231002/https://mars.nasa.gov/mer/mission/rover-status/opportunity/recent/all/ Opportunity's Mission Is Complete] (Feb. 7, 2019 - Feb. 13, 2019) ''MARS Exploration Rovers, NASA'' (archived from January 7, 2022).</ref>

NASA's last step for now is the still larger and heavier, also nuclear-powered, and better equipped Perseverance rover that landed in February 2021 carrying with itself the small helicopter Ingenuity, basically a tech demonstrator that became the first rotorcraft to fly on a world other than Earth in April 2021.

Meanwhile, the latest victim of the "Mars Curse", in reality the usual [[Russian]] problems (poor quality control,<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20120910133230/http://themoscownews.com/news/20120116/189373063.html Phobos-Grunt failure criticized] (16/01/2012 20:49) ''Moscow Times'' (archived from September 10, 2012).</ref> lack of testing<ref>[https://www.planetary.org/articles/3361 Phobos-Grunt Failure Report Released] by Louis D. Friedman (February 6, 2012) ''The Planetary Society''.</ref> and corruption<ref>[https://www.spacesafetymagazine.com/space-debris/phobos-grunt/grief-concern-russian-phobos-grunt-failure/ Grief and Concern over Russian Phobos-Grunt Failure] by Merryl Azriel (January 21, 2012) ''Space Safety Magazine''.</ref>), is the [[Russian]] Fobos-Grunt{{efn|Russian: Фобос-Грунт, literally "Phobos Soil"}} probe which was supposed to land on Phobos and return a small sample of its "soil" to Earth. After being launched successfully into Earth orbit, it failed to move into Mars transfer orbit and later re-entered Earth's atmosphere, with its remains falling in the Pacific Ocean. In a not-so-rare case of Russian government-endorsed [[conspiracy theory]], some Russian officials apparently think that the [[US]] might have had something to do with it.<ref>[https://www.theregister.com/2012/01/10/phobos_grunt_failure_sabotage/ Foreign sabotage suspected in Phobos-Grunt meltdown] by Brid-Aine Parnell (10 Jan 2012 // 16:44 UTC) ''The Register''.</ref> (No, they ruled out [[HAARP]],<ref>[https://www.russianspaceweb.com/phobos_grunt_aftermath.html Information on Phobos-Grunt failure emerges] by Anatoly Zak (April 5, 2012) ''RussianSpaceWeb.com''.</ref> but apparently it was the first thing on other people's minds.<ref>[https://theweek.com/health-science/conspiracy-theories/43114/phobos-grunt-failure-fuels-alien-war-conspiracy-theories Phobos-Grunt failure fuels alien war conspiracy theories] (November 29, 2011) ''The Week''.</ref>)

[[China]] has also joined Mars' exploration efforts with the {{wpl|Zhurong (rover)|Zhurong}} rover, part of the Tianwen 1 mission, that landed in May 2021.

The most likely reason that so many Martian probes have failed is that more probes have been sent to Mars than to any other planet in the Solar System.  Every mission has a chance of failure&nbsp;— the more missions one launches, the greater the odds are that at least one of them will fail (also, landing is harder than fly-bys). Worse, in terms of mission delta-V requirements, Mars is easier to get to than any of the other planets. (Venus's orbit is closer to Earth's than Mars's is, but a Venus rendezvous requires cancelling a ''lot'' of the kinetic energy from Earth's orbit around the Sun; a Mars rendezvous requires adding substantially less kinetic energy than this. Also, Mars is a ''much'' nicer planet to land on than Venus because the Venusian surface is so hot that it can melt lead, ~460°C) Because of this, Mars is usually the "first choice" for new and experimental space probe technology. The very first Mars mission to fail, ''Mariner 3'', was also the first probe ever sent outside the Earth-Moon system, for example. In a way, it's kind of amazing that so many Mars missions have ''succeeded''.

==Woo==
===Mars pareidolia club===
{{main|pareidolia}}
A picture made by [[NASA]]'s Viking 1 orbiter in 1976 showing [[Face on Mars|a hill that looks like a face]] started a new hobby&nbsp;— looking closely at images returned by Mars probes and trying to find as much "evidence for extraterrestrial life" as possible. Contrary to expectations, magnifying images to the pixel level and repeatedly applying the "sharpen" tool are not considered cheating. Notable participants in this quaint activity are [[Richard Hoagland]] and the [[Mars Anomaly Research]] team. Not only a 'face' but whole [[pyramid]]s and causeways are claimed to be seen&nbsp;— with the 'face' being 'identical' to that on the [[Sphinx of Giza]]. Science fiction pedants have been amused to note that long-running [[BBC]] sci-fi show ''Doctor Who'' broadcast a serial in 1975 called ''The Pyramids of Mars'', featuring a baddie called Sutekh the Destroyer who was imprisoned in a pyramid. On Mars. "[[coincidence]]??" etc. etc.

===Mars and the Great Flood===
According to [[creationists]], the [[Great Flood]] not only affected Earth, creating all the lakes and canyons, it affected Mars as well, creating [[Tharsis]]. It's true, it's [[Answers Research Journal volume 1#Mars.2C_a_Testament_to_Catastrophe|real creation science]]!<ref>[http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/arj/v1/n1/mars-testament-catastrophe Mars, a Testament to Catastrophe.] by Charles Creager, Jr. (July 23, 2008) ''Answers Research Journal'' 1:89-94.</ref>

===Seekrit Mars colony===
A number of fringe-type people have claimed that there is already a secret Earth base on Mars. A British newspaper reported claims that an ex-US Marine known only as "Captain Kaye" had served 17 years on the Red Planet keeping colonists safe from indigenous Martians; [[Donald Rumsfeld]] was also involved.<ref>[http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/secret-alien-base-mars-marine-3745652 Retired US Marine claims he spent 17 years on MARS protecting five human colonies from Martians] by Chris Richards (23 Jun 2014) ''The Mirror''.</ref> A woman, claiming to be a former NASA employee, contacted [[Coast to Coast AM]] in 2014 to claim that astronauts had been landed on Mars by a Viking probe in 1979.<ref>[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2852829/Was-secret-manned-mission-Mars-1979-Former-Nasa-employee-claims-saw-suited-men-running-red-planet.html 'I saw men walking on Mars in 1979': 'Former Nasa employee' claims there was a secret manned mission to the red planet] by Ellie Zolfagharifard (28 Nov 2014) ''Daily Mail''.</ref> Several commenters on Stack Exchange pointed out that any secret Mars mission would have to be massive in scale and insanely expensive, and people would probably have noticed.<ref>[http://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/3748/could-the-usa-have-a-secret-colony-on-mars Could the USA have a secret colony on Mars?] (2015) ''Stack Exchange''.</ref> It's basically the same level of improbability as the [[moon landing hoax]] but in reverse.

===Giant Mars===
Since 2002 a [[hoax]] has been circulating claiming that at the time of its closest approach to Earth, Mars will be as big as the moon in the sky. This is untrue, despite doctored photographs (of course it's very easy to alter the size of a photograph of Mars), but the hoax seems to recur every 22 months as Mars reaches its nearest point to Earth.<ref>{{wpa|Mars hoax}}</ref><ref>[https://www.space.com/30281-mars-hoax-moon-size-skywatching.html Mars Hoax Returns to Mislead Stargazers] by Joe Rao (August 18, 2015) ''Space.com''.</ref>

===Men===
Apparently, it has been discovered by popular non-[[psychologist]] [[John Gray]] that men do not actually come from Earth, but are in fact from Mars. Women, the smarter, wiser, and apparently less inclined to do anything but bake brownies, are themselves from Venus. How they survive that planet's crushing atmosphere and [[hell]]ish surface temperature high enough to melt lead, Gray isn't not telling.

==Mars in silly love songs==
[[Image:Mars_venus.gif|right|thumb|180px|Venus and Mars are alright tonight (sponsored by MasterCard)]]
Venus, similarly, was named for the goddess of love, and has a yellowish cast. When the two planets are visible from the Earth in the same area of the sky, it is said that "Venus and Mars are alright tonight". In this case they can be reasonably represented by the 1 and [[fun:Three|3]] billiards balls, respectively.

==See also==
*[[Gerry Soffen]]
*[[John Brandenburg]]
*[[Ken Johnston]], a former applicant for the Mars One one-way trip
*[[Hale crater]]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theories]]
[[Category:Creationism]]
[[Category:Hoaxes]]
[[Category:Muskiverse]]
[[Category:Oligarchic escapes]]
[[Category:Planets]]

Categories: Astronomy, Conspiracy theories, Creationism, Hoaxes, Muskiverse, Oligarchic escapes, Planets