David Roberts

{{new age}}'''David Roberts''' is a [[new age]], wide-spectrum crackpot and [[woo]] peddler residing in Columbus, [[Ohio]]. Roberts primarily spreads his message through his [[webshite]], The Game of Time. He claims to be a [[Pleiadians|Pleiadian]] [[starseed]] sent to spread his space wisdom with us.

==The Game of Time==
David Roberts' website is a pretty damn amusing tour through his particular version of well worn new age tropes. While not approaching a [[Timecube]] magnitude of crazy it's a fascinatingly esoteric and fun read for a connoisseur of new age woo. If you have a reasonable understanding of science it's also hilariously incorrect on many occasions. 

Diagrams trying to make sense of the nonsense abound. Many of these rely heavily on what appears to be 1990's era clip art akin to the sort you'd see for hair salon adverts. [[Rainbows]] shooting out of people and things seems to be a common motif.

The website flits through concepts including the [[law of attraction]], [[pseudopsychology]], [[subtle energy]], [[quantum woo]], [[existentialism]], [[time travel]] parallel dimensions, and a thick slice of [[False dilemma|false dichotomies]] and false equivalences in meaning.

Roberts is especially fond of those. In his mind anything can be defined as anything else:

*{{new age text|color=black|...Another way to say communicate is to exchange energy...}}<ref>http://www.thegameoftime.com/energy.html</ref>
*{{new age text|color=black|...remember that another way say Light is Energy, and another is Matter...}}<ref>http://www.thegameoftime.com/healing.html</ref>
*{{new age text|color=black|Let's remember that one definition of 'heal' is 'to change'...}}<ref>http://www.thegameoftime.com/videos1.html</ref> 

So incredible are Roberts' transcendental powers that he can change the very meaning of the English language.

==You've Activated my Trap Card!==

While David Roberts is mostly harmless there's always a profitable angle in the new age scene. David has Pleiadian Healing [[Tarot]] Cards.<ref>http://www.thegameoftime.com/products.html</ref> They're better than normal tarot card because they let up to seven people share their energy, which collects exponentially so that they have the energy of 823,543 people.<ref>http://www.thegameoftime.com/energy.html</ref> These cards don't divine the future but instead are meant to heal the soul and open your mind up to different dimensions of existence in the multiverse. 

Also, one of the cards is "[[dinosaur]]". Checkmate, Waite-Rider tarot. 

Would you believe that the cards are produced with clip art that displays little stylistic consistency? Perhaps they're less aesthetically garish to one's [[third eye]].

==Are There Videos?==

Hell yes, they are full of clip art diagrams and they are ''delightful''. <ref>http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGameofTime</ref>

==External links==
*[http://www.thegameoftime.com/index.html The Game of Time]
*[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2019/04/2170-david-roberts.html David Roberts] at the [[Encyclopedia of American Loons]]
*[https://www.facebook.com/thegameoftime/ Game of Time Facebook page]

==References==
{{reflist}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Roberts, David}}
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:New Age]]
[[Category:Ohio]]
[[Category:Pissed at us]]
[[Category:Woo]]

Categories: Internet, New Age, Ohio, Pissed at us, Woo