Greenland

{{countrybox|Greenland
|flag = Flag of Greenland.svg
|pop = 56,483
|GDP = 2,220
|GDPPC = 39,569.11
|life = 71.83
|dev = .786
|dem = N/A 
|cor = N/A
|edu = N/A
|rel = N/A
}}
[[File:Greenland 42.74746W 71.57394N.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Satellite image of Greenland.]]
'''Greenland''' is geographically part of [[North America]], but is often more associated with [[Europe]], specifically [[Scandinavia]] or just the Nordic countries in general, and is a quasi-independent territory of [[Denmark]].<ref group=note>Try to wrap your head around its {{wpl|Greenland-European Union relations|relations with the European Union|.}}</ref> 

It mostly has Inuits and polar bears, and a lot of ice ([[climate change|not for long]]!). No [[Linux|penguins]], though, but it used to have the {{wpl|great auk||.}}<ref group=note>A good book to read for further information about the culture of the Inuits, Greenlandic history, and harrowing tales of survival would be Peter Freuchen's ''Book of the Eskimos''.</ref>

If you believe ''Princess Bride'', it's a very bad place to be unemployed. Greenland is probably the only place in the world where you can walk into a Chinese restaurant and order whale meat. It's also a real fucker on any of the numerous plague simulator games.

==Name==
Greenland has a lot of ice and is not particularly green, while [[Iceland]] does not have as much ice. In defense, Iceland isn't that green either. Nobody is quite sure how it got its name, although this may have something to do with [[Viking]] raiders who were all stoned out of their minds on cheap [[alcohol|mead]] and hallucinogenic [[psilocybin|mushrooms]] who thought all that [[snow]] and ice glowed a really trippy green under the dancing northern lights. Far out, man. 

An alternate explanation is that when Erik the Red<ref group=note>Erik, Eiríkr in Old Icelandic, had been banished from [[Norway]] for killing, emigrated to Iceland and was banned again for killing. Then he went to Greenland. His daughter, Freydís, while on a tour of some part of North America, organized the slaughter of half the expedition, killing the women herself, as her men were too squeamish. There must have been some bad genes there.</ref> made landfall in Greenland, he was desperate for people to settle down there, and so gave it its inviting name, thereby launching history's first real estate [[scam]]. Although that region was warmer then than it is now, life still proved to be harsh, keeping [[cow|cattle]] and [[sheep]] penned 5 months of the year.  

However, this didn't stop hardcore [[climate change denial]]ists from claiming the word "green" in Greenland proves climate science is a hoax.  One wonders what does the country [[Turkey]] prove?  The unfortunate Thanksgiving dinner table guest came from there? Moral of the story? Denialists clutch at straws.

The [[Vikings]] left, though, as there wasn't much there to loot and pillage, so they moved on to [[Minnesota]] and started a [[American football|football]] team.

==Geopolitics==
Officially it is part of [[Denmark]], who granted it "home rule" in 1979. Historically, it was very much treated as a [[colonialism|colony]], with over 4,500 Greenlandic women and girls, some as young as ''twelve'', being forcibly sterilized from 1966 to 1970.<ref>[https://www.cfr.org/blog/women-week-denmark-issues-apology-greenland-over-forced-sterilization  Women This Week: Denmark Issues Apology to Greenland Over Forced Sterilization], Linda Robinson and Noël James, ''Council on Foreign Relations'' 12 September 2025</ref> Even as recently as 2025, children have been forcefully taken away from Greenlandic parents due to biased parenting tests.<ref>[https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c1wlw2qj113o Our babies were taken after 'biased' parenting test - now we're fighting to get them back], Sofia Bettiza and Woody Morris, ''BBC'' 22 November 2025</ref> Unofficially, Greenland is rumored to still be teeming with big burly Vikings who plan on using it as a base to launch raids on [[Canada]], [[New York]], and other lesser countries.

Because of its location near the North Pole, it is of some strategic importance, particularly for Americans worried about an attack over the Arctic from [[Russia]]. The [[United States]] has a major facility at {{wpl|Pituffik Space Base||,}}{{efn|Previously known as Thule Air Base}} which includes a Ballistic Missile Early Warning System to track incoming [[nuclear weapons|nukes]]. Also, in 2019 [[Donald Trump]] attempted to buy all of Greenland from the Danish government for its military value or because it was a slow news day or golf or something.<ref>Martin Pengelly, "[https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/aug/18/trump-considering-buying-greenland Trump confirms he is considering attempt to buy Greenland]", ''[[The Guardian]]'', August 18, 2019</ref> He's now trying again in his second term, then again Donald Trump isn't the one to take no for an answer. Some of his billionaire buddies hope to build [[Libertarian_paradise#Bad_Praxis_in_Greenland|Libertarian paradise]] there and not get eaten by belugas.

Today, Greenland (or Kalaalit Nunaat as the locals call it) is in the process of attaining independence from Denmark; a 2008 referendum took control of Greenland's police, coast guard, and courts away from Denmark and placed them in the hands of the Greenlandic people.

==International statistics==
{{Legend|#B9B9B9|Data unavailable}}

==See also==
*[[Alaska]]
*[[Antarctica]]
*[[Nunavut]]
*[[Svalbard]]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}
==References==
{{reflist}}
{{nationbox}}

[[Category:Denmark]]
[[Category:Disputed countries]]

Categories: Denmark, Disputed countries