Kissing Hank's Ass

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{{cquote|Why do Christians assume that the parable 'Kissing Hank's Ass' is about them?|||James Huber, ''Questions for Bible-Thumpers''<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20161021174216/http://www.jhuger.com/questions-for-bible-thumpers Questions for Bible-Thumpers] (archived from [http://www.jhuger.com/questions-for-bible-thumpers the original])</ref>}}
'''Kissing Hank's Ass''' is an analogy highlighting the absurdities of [[blind faith]] in general and some of the basic tenets of [[Christianity]] specifically. The story was written by James Huber and is viewable at his website;<ref>[http://www.jhuger.com/kissing-hanks-ass Kissing Hank's Ass] by James Huber</ref> a downloadable pamphlet was also available. The story has become quite popular in [[atheist]] circles, and of course there are the obligatory adaptations posted to [[YouTube]] and similar video services.

==Plot summary==
The story is about [[Proselytization|a conversation]] between two adherents of [[God|Hank]] and a stranger whose door they knocked on. The "Hankites" explain that Hank is a [[philanthropist]] who wants to give everyone [[Heaven|one million dollars]], but as the story unfolds it becomes clear that there are many rather strange conditions attached. Though nobody is allowed to see Hank, anyone who wants the million dollars must figuratively kiss Hank's ass, and must live according to [[Bible|Hank's rules]] — all without question. The rules are a mixture of [[common sense]], nonsense, contradiction, hate, and pointless, esoteric dietary requirements. Furthermore, people only get the million dollars [[Afterlife|''after'']] they have [[Death|left town]], and Hank's rules forbid people who have left town from communicating with those in town, so people still in town must take everything on [[Faith|trust]]. People who decline Hank's generous offer will [[Hell|get the shit kicked out of them]] by Hank, while his loyal followers [[Heaven|laugh and enjoy the spectacle]].

==See also==
*[[Flying Spaghetti Monster]]
*[[Invisible Pink Unicorn]]
*[[Russell's Teapot]]
*[[Parody religion]]

==External links==
*[http://www.jhuger.com/ James Huber's website]
*[http://www.jhuger.com/kissing-hanks-ass Story transcript] <!-- jhuger.com replaced, previous content gone, when accessed 2016-Dec-8; reorganized site has the story again, accessed 2017-Jul-10 -->
**[http://www.rationalskepticism.org/general-faith/kissing-hank-s-ass-t42786.html Copy at rationalskepticism.org]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20160308055942/http://www.jhuger.com/pdf/kissing-hanks-ass_trifold.pdf Story pamphlet] (archived from [http://www.jhuger.com/pdf/kissing-hanks-ass_trifold.pdf the original] on March 8, 2016)
*[http://www.hofesh.org.il/articles/god/kiss.html In Hebrew]
*[[YouTube]] videos
**[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDp7pkEcJVQ A direct enactment of the script] -- posted in 2006
**[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izUHislQWP8 The same video] with Spanish subtitles
**[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaFZQBb2srM Another interpretation] from 2013
**[https://youtu.be/k1TQPEKHH9c?t=1395 A timestamp in Episode 505] of ''[[The Atheist Experience]]'' where [[Matt Dillahunty]] and Don Baker read the script on the air
**[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9RpiLSUNi0 Russian re-enactment], 2015
[[Category:Parody religions]]

==References==
{{reflist}}

{{stub|Skepticism}}

[[Category:Skepticism]]
[[Category:Arguments]]
[[Category:Existence of gods]]

Categories: Parody religions, Skepticism, Arguments, Existence of gods