Caffeine

[[Image:Caffeine.gif|thumb|right|165px|Nitrogen ("N") means it plays with your head.]]
{{Drugs}}
{{cquote|Wake up this morning<BR>
Gotta wake up fast<BR>
Gotta get to [[school]]<BR>
I need a caffeine blast<BR>
[[Coffee]] won't do it<BR>
I need something more<BR>
I need an artificial pickup<BR>
Get me to a drugstore oh baby<BR>
I want an artificial stimulant<BR>
I want a Vivarin<BR>
And maybe some [[speed]]|||"Caffeine Blues" by {{wpl|Gray Matter (band)|Gray Matter}}}}
'''Caffeine''' ('''C<sub>8</sub>H<sub>10</sub>N<sub>4</sub>O<sub>2</sub>''') is a [[drug]] from the Rubiaceae family of flowering plants. It's a drug without which 99% of its users would be completely and utterly unable to complete the simplest of tasks. Caffeine acts as a powerful central nervous system stimulant. Emphasis on the word "nervous". It is found naturally in [[coffee]], many [[Fun:Tea|teas]], and chocolate and is an ingredient in some sodas and many sport drinks. It is also an incredibly deadly {{wpl|poison}} which quickly kills you from liver (or the equivalent organ) failure if you happen to be an [[insect]] (which is why plants [[evolution|evolved]] to produce it, and why one species then evolved to be immune to its effects) or any number of animals, including [[cat]]s and [[dog]]s; metabolism of caffeine varies wildly from species to species, even in ones which are very closely related.<ref>[https://www.sciencenews.org/blog/food-thought/slugging-it-out-caffeine Slugging It Out with Caffeine] by Janet Raloff (3:44pm, June 26, 2002) ''Science News''.</ref> It is also the only drug that has social stigma attached to ''not'' consuming it in near-addict fashion.

==Legal status==
The powers that be have deemed caffeine unworthy of the [[War on Drugs|lavish attention]] they give to other drugs. The reason for this is unclear, but it could have something to do with them having to throw about 98% of the population in [[prison]] if they did. Not that the U.S. hasn't [[Prohibition|tried something like that before]]. Of course, it could just be the fact that it [[Cocaine|doesn't cause people to go into homicidal rages]], [[Marijuana|doesn't seem to harm work productivity]]. In September 2015, the US [[FDA]] has warned manufacturers against selling pure powdered caffeine directly to consumers, after at least two deaths were reported from consumption of 1 tablespoon of pure caffeine.<ref>[http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2015/09/01/fda-issues-new-warnings-to-distributors-of-powdered-caffeine-calling-products-dangerous/ FDA issues new warnings to distributors of powdered caffeine, calling products 'dangerous'] by Brady Dennis September 1 at 2:19 PM ''Washington Post''.</ref>

==Association with enlightenment==
{{main|Age of Enlightenment}}
While coffee has been consumed in its botanic points of origin, [[Ethiopia]] and [[Yemen]], for centuries and was introduced into most of the Arab world in the early centuries of [[Islam]], [[Europe]] did not have caffeine until well into the modern era. Some scholars associate coffee with the [[Turkish]] sieges of Vienna, which would make 1688 a likely starting point of the European coffee craze. Regardless of the actual date of first introduction, coffee soon became associated with 18<sup>th</sup> century [[philosophical]] ideals and the coffee houses that sprang up all over Europe usually offered newspapers to patrons to entice them to spend a lazy morning there perusing the caffeine and reading up on and debating the day's events. Some philosophers even pointed out that coffee replaced a slightly [[alcoholic]] [[beer]] broth as the standard morning drink,<ref>[http://recipes.hypotheses.org/1410 Beer soup: The Breakfast of Early Modern Rulers] by Molly Taylor-Poleskey (30/05/2013)''The Recipes Project''.</ref> and thus replaced a slightly buzzed society with a slightly more awake one.

==Energy drinks==
Because people are increasingly lazy, so lazy as to think even instant coffee is too much hassle,{{efn|Or perhaps they just don't like the taste of coffee &mdash; which makes you wonder how they can tolerate the flavor of some of those energy drinks.}} caffeine has become more popular as an "energy drink" or pill. Tablets such as ProPlus and drinks like Relentless and Red Bull contain concentrated caffeine and sugar.{{efn|There are also energy shots, which concentrate in a small bottle (around 3-4 oz, 100-120ml), the caffeine of ''four'' Red Bulls.}} Combined, these make people go, more or less, totally mental for an hour before crashing.

A popular craze with these is to mix them with alcohol such as vodka or tequila, and some drink manufacturers have latched onto this by producing alcoholic energy drinks. It is often claimed that this caffeine-alcohol combination makes getting drunk more exciting, or even dangerous (a reputation that other caffeinated alcoholic beverages such as Irish coffee have somehow never earned). Due to these concerns, along with the popularity of these drinks with underage drinkers, pre-manufactured alcoholic energy drinks are now effectively banned in the [[USA]], forcing you to buy the caffeine and the alcohol component separately and mix them on your own. We know. Working to get drunk? Blech!

==Just drink it!==
[[File:LatteArtElephant.jpg|right|right|thumb|165px|Quick, tell the Hindus [[Religious pareidolia|you've found Ganesha in a cup of coffee]]!]]
In a large study (reported in 2012 in the <i>New England Journal of Medicine</i>) of 402,260 participants, unlikely to be superseded by another coffee study anytime soon, it was found that people who drank more than 2 cups of coffee/day were 10-16% less likely to have died than nondrinkers during a 13.6 year period.<ref>[https://www.sciencenews.org/article/coffee-gives-jolt-life-span Coffee gives jolt to life span]</ref> Coffee has a protective effect against several ailments, including liver disease and liver [[cancer]], diabetes, Parkinson's disease, dementia, depression, high blood pressure, and cardiovascular diseases.<ref>[https://www.sciencenews.org/article/coffee-reveals-itself-unlikely-elixir?mode=magazine&context=190830 Coffee reveals itself as an unlikely elixir: From liver disease to diabetes, coffee compounds protect against an array of health conditions] by Nathan Seppa (12:02pm, September 18, 2015) ''Science News''.</ref> Once upon a time, [[naturopath]]s thought that coffee contained [[Toxin|poisons]] and coffee-drinking was an [[evil]] habit &mdash; oops!<ref>[https://archive.org/details/universalnaturop00lust ''Universal Naturopathic Encyclopedia, Directory and Buyers' Guide: Year Book of Drugless Therapy for 1918-19] by Benedict Lust (editor and publisher) page 25.</ref><ref group=note>Looks like the [[scientific method]] triumphs over [[Other ways of knowing|wild mass guessing]] yet again!</ref>

==See also==
{{fun|Coffee}}{{fun|Tea}}
*[[Purported legal highs]]
*[[Kopi luwak]]
*The [[Colonic#Coffee|Coffee]] section of [[Colonic]]
*[[Seventh-day Adventism]] and [[Mormonism]], which disapprove of caffeine consumption

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

[[Category:Chemicals]]
[[Category:Drugs]]
{{stub|Drugs}}

Categories: Chemicals, Drugs