Ghost Hunters

{{bronze}}{{Paranormal}}{{title-italics}}
'''''Ghost Hunters''''' is a 
comedy
 [[Ghost hunting TV shows|paranormal TV show]] featuring the exploits of a group of slow-witted 
pesky plumbers
 [[paranormal]] investigators as they misuse a bunch of consumer electronics from their local 
Circuit City
 Best Buy in an effort to find "evidence" of [[ghosts|paranormal activity]]. The core team is composed of members of The Atlantic Paranormal Society (TAPS). When not appearing in episodes of this series, the crew enjoy posing for photos for the [http://www.syfy.com/ghosthunters/ Ghost Hunters website], in which they aim to appear thoughtful, skeptical, or mysterious, but in most cases the overall impression is one of puzzlement and constipation.

To the [[skeptic]], the only reasons to watch are to play the "lowest [[IQ]] in this segment" competition, and that some of the team are reasonably attractive in a confused kind of way.

Perhaps the best example of the way the show thinks science works was provided when they heavily emphasized and raved about how one of the images they captured "has NO EXPLANATION whatsoever [[False dilemma|(and therefore must be a ghost)]]!"

==An episode in a nutshell==
[[File:Membri del Ghost Hunters Team (da sx Max, Mirko, Daniele, Luca).JPG|thumb|right|250px|
Alcuni idraulici italiani
 Italian GHT]]
The typical American segment consists of a situation in which someone is under the impression that they're witnessing paranormal activity. They call 
Ghostbusters
 TAPS, whose principals quickly 
slide down the fire pole
 remove their arms from the s-bends of whatever toilets they were unplugging in order to rush to investigate the alleged haunting.

The investigators then 
strap on their proton packs
 pile up a bunch of random electronic hardware in their vans and go 
blow the crap out of some ghosts
 interview the deluded people who are convinced that they see dead people and are desperate to have their superstitious ideas confirmed by fully qualified plumbers.

These plumbers then proceed to make the [[Watergate|Nixon White House variety]] look brilliant, as they generally set up gear to record whatever noise, wow, and flutter they can. Cameras are set up in the dark and sound recorders in silent rooms. They let the equipment run unattended for a few hours while wandering around misusing other equipment, such as the magical "EMF detector," which is absolutely not a simple instrument used in zoning and to help isolate lab equipment. Really! It's a [[Ghost|GHOST]] HUNTING TOOL!

They then go home to some dump in Rhode Island,<ref>[https://roadtrippers.com/us/warwick-ri/attractions/taps-headquarters TAPS Headquarters, 2362 West Shore Road, Warwick, Rhode Island 02886 USA] Roadtrippers.com</ref> pore over the blank tapes, and get really excited about what white noise sounds and looks like when the gain is turned up all the way.

The last step is to return to the scene of the [[Ectoplasm|slime]] and tell the morons, in most cases, that ''there really is something going on there!!!'' Once in a while, they act "skeptical" and say there might be a haunting but that they didn't find strong evidence for it. They also occasionally unclog the 
[[Mark|mark's]]
 haunting victim's toilet &mdash; evidently for free!

==Pretend skepticism and other ploys==
''Ghost Hunters'' is typical of modern reality-TV ghost hunting shows and so-called "paranormal groups" which use 
salesmanship
 [[con artist]]ry designed to manipulate the gullible.<ref name=Leader-Post>{{cite web|title='Ghost Hunters' pretend skepticism|url=http://www.canada.com/reginaleaderpost/news/arts_life/story.html?id=9b5c2652-9f20-43e1-9dac-8a9dda83464b|work=June 20, 2008|publisher=Leader-Post (Regina)|accessdate=19 February 2013}}</ref>  
*''Pretend Skepticism'' &mdash; Quite literally, they [[Straw man#Straw skepticism|pretend to be skeptical]] ("We're looking to disprove a haunting") yet act [[credulous]] ("Hello! I'm calling on the spirits in this room to please show yourself! Give us a sign!"). 
*''The Convincer'' &mdash; A personal anecdote designed to create an air of trustworthiness ("I was the world's biggest skeptic until I came face-to-face with a ghost.")<ref>Ryan Jacobs [http://www.psmag.com/navigation/books-and-culture/make-paranormal-event-believable-82401 How to Make a Paranormal Event Seem Believable] Pacific Standard magazine</ref> Basically, a ghost hunting version of the [["I used to be an atheist"]] shtick used in [[apologetics]].
*''Unexplainable = a Ghost'' &mdash; "We tried everything &mdash; but we can't find any explanation for this phenomenon. It's unexplainable. Must be a ghost." A straight up [[didit fallacy]].
*''False Objectivity'' &mdash; Pretending to be objective and undecided but using words like "evidence", "caught", and "captured" to imply that something paranormal has happened ("We ''caught'' this ''evidence'' on video, but we don't know what it is; why don't you take a look?"). Classic [[pseudoscience]].

While watching ''Ghost Hunters'' or similar paranormal TV shows, it's helpful to think of the participants as talented 
actors
 con artists.<ref group=note>Hey, at least we're acknowledging their "art".</ref> The shows have the same premise as classic con games: you're promised one thing, but you get another such as promising to show you ghosts but giving you a bunch of adults stumbling around in a darkened room screaming like frightened children ("EEEEEE! WHAT WAS THAT?!!!"). Or "sincere" testimony that something really paranormal happened just out of camera range ("Gosh Darn it! How unfortunate!"). Or grainy video of some household object 
being pulled by fishing line
 moving by itself. ("Hey! We ''caught'' some ''evidence!''")

==Suggested equipment==
[[File:Irthermo.png|thumbnail|right|150px|Temperature change means it's paranormal (only on TV!)]]
The Ghost Hunters team is kind enough to provide Steve's list of equipment for budding paranormal investigators.<ref>[http://www.syfy.com/videos/Ghost%20Hunters/Steve's%20Gear%20Guide Ghost Hunters: Random electronic gadgets you can wave around in a dark room while going <i>"OoooOOOooOOOooo"</i>]</ref> If you follow the references and read the Ghost Hunters descriptions of these devices, you'll notice a distinct lack of evidence. Claims for the effectiveness of a device will typically be backed by claims beginning with the [[weasel word|phrase]] <i>"many paranormal investigators believe…"</i>. As you review the list, consider playing a drinking game. Take a shot each time you see the words <i>"many think"</i> or <i>"some believe"</i> used to support the efficacy of a device.

At the time of writing, the list is as follows:

===Digital recorder===
A digital recorder, such as a portable device for recording voice memos, is perfect for observing [[electronic voice phenomenon|electronic voice phenomena]] (EVP). Steve has the following to say about the digital recorder (our emphasis to highlight vagueness, uncertainty, and anecdotal evidence): 
{{quotebox|"It's the contention of <b>many</b> paranormal experts, and my own <b>personal experience</b>, that voices from the other side <b>can</b> manifest as EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomena). EVPs are <b>generally</b> inaudible to the human ear, but <b>can sometimes</b> be picked up on electronic recording devices. At TAPS, we use digital and analog recorders to attempt to capture EVPs."<ref>[http://www.syfy.com/ghosthunters/howto/using_a_digital_recorder_to_capture_evps_electronic_voice_phenomena Using a Digital Recorder to Capture EVPs (Electronic Voice Phenomena).]</ref>}}

It's also the contention of <i>many</i> paranormal experts that underpants are best worn on the outside, or on the head. As is the case with EVP, we await evidence in support of the outside-underpants contention. The practice of using a digital recorder to capture EVP is the modern version of leaving a cassette recorder running in a darkened room and then turning up the volume on playback to try to make sense of static and naturally occurring background noise.

Based on the progression from analog tape to digital recorders, one can only assume that ghosts in the future will learn to encode their wails as MP3s, conveniently emailing them directly to paranormal investigators.

===Electromagnetic field (EMF) detector===
This device is a lot of fun, particularly if one lacks sufficient knowledge to understand the origin of EMF (hint: it's usually electricity). There are many different sources of [[electromagnetic]] radiation, and it's pure guess-work that ghosts have some kind of EMF signature, unless ghosts are actually made of electricity. EMF activity is likely to always be detected to some extent, barring measurements conducted for people who live in [[Faraday cage]]s or measurements taken 10 miles from the nearest power line. A good analogy would be to compare an EMF detector to an AM radio receiver. The radio will still pick up background noise, even if it's not tuned to a frequency being used for broadcasting. One could cite this static as proof of the existence of ghosts, and that's pretty much what the Ghost Hunters are doing, albeit in a more expensive and complicated way. EMF meters are actually used quite frequently by your friendly local power company to ensure that buildings are kept a suitable distance away from power lines and also in laboratory situations to keep certain equipment from frying everything else. Benjamin Radford of the [[Committee for Skeptical Inquiry]], on Ghost Hunters' nonsensical usage of measuring devices, commented <i>"Just as using a calculator doesn't make you a mathematician, using a scientific instrument doesn't make you a scientist."</i><ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20071219170632/www.csicop.org/specialarticles/shady-science.html Ben Radford's article on the "ghost hunting" phenomenon] In this, he is strongly critical of those who use scientific instruments badly or use them based on the unfounded assumption that ghosts generate activity that can be measured by scientific instruments.</ref>

===Mini-Digital Video Camera===
Steve's explanation of this device is particularly telling (our emphasis):
{{quotebox|"If you're a serious paranormal investigator, the mini-digital video camera is an indispensable part of your arsenal. Not only will it provide a visual and audio record of your investigation, it will give you unrestricted access to locations and <b>allow you to see your own reactions to paranormal activity, when it occurs, in real time</b>."<ref>[http://www.syfy.com/ghosthunters/howto/using_the_mini_digital_video_camera How to use a digital video camera][http://www.syfy.com/videos/Ghost%20Hunters/Steve's%20Gear%20Guide/vid:vcms-id-430847 Video]</ref>}}

The emphasized text shows the most important use for such cameras: to get spooky-looking footage. The ideal approach is to stand in a creepy room, point the camera at your face, and babble incoherently about how <i>eerie</i> things feel. For added effect, avoid editing out footage containing rapid camera angle changes. These jerky shots enhance the feeling of trepidation. The only drawback to this type of camera is that pictures of the investigators and their clients don't look freaky enough. What could be done to enhance the "otherworldly" feeling? This technique is basically lifted wholesale from the (fictional!) 1999 movie ''[[The Blair Witch Project]]''.

===Infrared night vision camera===
Hooray, this<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl5fM24mfRk</ref> is exactly what we need! A night vision camera will complement the mini-digital video camera by providing the Paris Hilton sex-tape look so highly prized by paranormal investigators.<ref group=note>This is the green effect seen when using night-vision goggles. Most modern military night-vision systems work by amplifying ambient light, but the camera the Ghost Hunters use is somewhat more primitive. It features a ring of near-infrared LEDs that illuminate what the camera is looking at. Since near-infrared light is invisible to the naked eye, the room still appears dark to an unaided observer. Wikipedia has an article on this technology: {{wpl|Night vision device#Generation_0|Night vision device.}} Curiously, no-one knows why such devices should be any more useful in spotting ghosts than they would goblins, invisible dragons, or a cloaked Klingon Bird of Prey.</ref> It's far easier to convey a sense of fear when people are dimly lit and green.

===Thermal imaging camera===
This technology can identify cold spots in a house that can be attributed to a ghostly visitation 
or a poorly insulated window-frame
. Like the near-infrared night vision camera, it can operate in total darkness.

Paranormal investigation is best conducted in a dark and creepy location. A cynic might suggest that the rationale here is to afford the investigators and their clients' subjects more freedom to confabulate ghosts out of shadows and noises from the darkness. That may be unfair, since <i>many theorists</i> could claim that ghosts won't appear unless the scene is suitably creepy &mdash; in the same way that [[psychotic]] voices prefer to appear in the heads of the mentally ill.

===White noise generator===
Steve says that this is no longer used by TAPS, indicating that their [[credulity]] has some limits. A [[skeptic]] may suggest that their main reason for retiring this device is because {{wpl|white noise}} is [[torture|very irritating]] to listen to. According to "some" theorists, these devices can generate noise that is subsequently manipulated by ghosts in order to communicate with the living. This could be like modulating a carrier wave, except that there is actually [[Radio|evidence]] that carrier waves can be modulated.

===Geiger counter===
They used one to see if it would register any "anomalous readings". But no anomalies + no impressive blinky lights + irritating ticking noise = retirement after one episode.

===Geophone===
An instrument normally used to measure ground movement. Lots of blinky lights (good!)<ref>http://dallasghost.webs.com/Lighting-CH-Geophone-2T.jpg Blinky lights are important!</ref> that flash to the vibrations of 
camera crew
 ghost footsteps across a floor.

===Air purifier===
They called it an "ion generator" because that sounds more "sciencey" and promotes the idea that negative ions somehow "help the spirits manifest."

==See also==
*[[Electronic voice phenomenon]]
*[[Ghost hunting/paranormal TV shows]]
*[[Legend tripping]]
*[[Pareidolia]]
*[[Woo]]

==External link==
*[https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/episode_scripts.php?tv-show=ghost-hunters-2004 Ghost Hunters (2004) Episode Scripts]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}
==References==
{{reflist|2}}

[[category:pseudoscience]]
[[Category:Paranormal]]
[[Category:Television programmes]]
[[Category:Schlockumentaries]]
[[Category:Horror]]

Categories: pseudoscience, Paranormal, Television programmes, Schlockumentaries, Horror