Capalert

{{christianity}}
{{Bronze}}
'''Capalert''' is a website run by the "ChildCare Action Project" (CAP), a one-man [[Christian]] "ministry" known mostly for reviewing movies from a Christian perspective. It was started in 1994 by Thomas Carder, who published the website from his home in [[Texas]]. It has been dormant since 2012.

==Mission==
Carder's mission is to review as much entertainment as possible, count all the examples of [[sin]] in each, and list them on his website. He feels that by doing this, he is informing all the other [[fundamentalism|fundamentalist]] Christians about what sins are in the movie. He's mostly concentrated on film, but he's also rated at least one TV show (''Dilbert''), and he's hinted at covering other media as well, such as video games. He also includes a large "about the pastor" section where he points out that he has been in an adulterous relationship with his previously married and then divorced wife.<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/aboutfounder.htm From the Pastor], capalert.com.</ref> Apparently biblical injunctions are only for other people. He also has that "coming soon to an airport stall near you" air of protesting a wee bit too loudly about [[homosexuality]].<ref group=note>The portrayal of [[lesbian]] intimacy in the films ''Kissing Jessica Stein'' and ''Mulholland Drive'' made Carder walk out of the movie theater.</ref>

==Methodology==
{{cquote|An Investigator will observe relatively closed cultural or societal engines for occurences{{sic}} of the Investigation Standards. Annotation of findings is performed using [[technobabble|detailed recording instruments]]. The Investigator will then input his/her findings into a [[computer]] system. The computer system is designed to generate a numeric score in each of the six Investigation Areas plus a unique statistical average. The higher the CAP score the greater the [[morality|moral]] acceptability of the cultural entity under investigation.|||Thomas Carder<ref name=methodology />}}

The CAP methodology is, to say the least, complicated. If there is one thing that becomes apparent while reading the website (aside from Carder's odd reading of the [[Bible]] and his strange definition of "objective"), it's his love of numbers.

Every film starts out with 100 points, and each instance of sin causes it to lose points; the idea, of course, being that movies with higher scores are more suitable for Christian audiences (from Carder's perspective, anyway). He categorizes every sin into six investigation areas that form the clever acronym WISDOM: Wanton Violence/Crime, Impudence (originally Impunity), [[Sex]]ual Immorality, [[Drug]]s/[[Alcohol]], Offense to [[God]], and [[Death|Murder/Suicide]]. He then runs the data he's collected through over thirty<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/whatdoesittake.htm Wherein Carder tells people that reviewing movies and griping about them is expensive.]</ref> calculations on a computer. Apparently, without this, some films would earn a negative score in some areas.

All this is then compiled into his final review, containing five key elements: a traffic light meant to intend its ballpark palatability (almost always red), a thermometer that shows visually how the movie scored in the six investigation areas, the findings/scoring section that itemizes each sin shown in the movie, a summary/commentary section where Carder discusses the movie and often summarizes the plot, and a scriptural reference section where he cites scripture to back up his assertions. If the movie is a remake or sequel, Carder will also typically include a side-by-side comparison of the thermometer scores that each of the films have received.<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/twilight_breakingdawnp2.htm ''The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2''] review, capalert.com.</ref><ref group=note>Somehow, Carder managed to sit through all five movies. Poor sod.</ref>

Carder claims that everything listed in his Findings/Scoring section of a film's analysis is objective<ref name=methodology>[http://www.capalert.com/method/method.htm CAP Methodology], capalert.com.</ref> and that the CAP analysis model is objective. It can only be assumed that Carder feels that using math makes a film review objective, despite the fact that what calculations to use, how to categorize the various sins, and even how to interpret the Bible are all subjective in nature.

==Notable reviews==
Four movies have earned a score of 0: ''Scary Movie'', ''Sin City'', ''American Psycho'', and ''Freddy vs Jason''.

Six movies have earned a score of 100: ''Baby Miracle Volume 1: The Story of Creation'', ''Grandpa Friendly's Workshop: Making Friends'', ''Hurleyville Episode 1: One God'', ''Incredible Creatures That Defy [[Evolution]], Vol. 1'',<ref group=note>Sadly, this film does not give a profile of the [[crocoduck]].</ref> ''Who Gets the House'', and ''[[Mary Poppins]]''.

''Mary Poppins'' was the first movie Carder rated to have a perfect score, and it remains the only theatrically-released movie to have such a score. Poppins is, if you think about it, cut from the same cloth as the vile [[Harry Potter]] movies. It has [[magic]], mischief, and children disobeying their elders, on top of the fact that series creator [[P. L. Travers]] dabbled in the occult; all things Carder has taken a strong stand against. Carder contrasts ''Poppins'' to ''Harry Potter'' - even though both characters use [[magic]] for good, Potter's explicit use of "[[witchcraft]]/sorcery/wizardry" marks him out as ultimately serving [[evil]], but Carder feels Poppins "could have been portraying an angel".<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/marypop/marypop.htm ''Mary Poppins''] review, capalert.com.</ref>

Carder's review of ''Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,'' the fourth Harry Potter movie, shows a kind of exasperation with Harry Potter and the wave of fantasy movies. In that movie review, Carder quotes Steven Kossor, his "Director of Child Psychology Support" (he never names Kossor, but he names the position) as saying:

{{quotebox|Kids who revere Harry can't help to notice their own impotence by comparison, and yearn for the antidote that having "magical powers" would provide.<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/harrypotter-goblet.htm ''Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire''] review, capalert.com.</ref>}}

He then goes on to say how bad that is and talk about Jesus throwing himself off a cliff and angels picking him back up.

The quote is used again, in a review of the movie ''Sky High'' (about a high school for superheroes). In that review, Carder said:

{{quotebox|Note that none of the portrayals of super powers were wielded to portray witchcraft, sorcery or the like but such was still incorporated into Offense to God due to the portrayal of super powers to do harm and/or control others. As our Director - Child Psychology Support reported: "Kids who revere Harry [Potter] can't help to notice their own impotence by comparison, and yearn for the antidote that having 'magical powers' would provide."<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/skyhigh.htm ''Sky High''] review, capalert.com.</ref>}}

When he feels like being sophisticated, Carder turns to psychology instead of the Bible to make people not see movies about magic, and arbitrarily applies this to superpowers too. This seems to contradict his earlier statement about ''Mary Poppins''.

In his review of ''Hellboy,'' Carder interpreted the title character to be the beast of the Apocalypse, and was offended by the idea that he could choose to be good.<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/hellboy.htm ''Hellboy''] review, capalert.com.</ref> Apparently [[free will]] is an un-Christian value.

==Fun with objectivity==
The Capalert website is rife with oddly-classified "[[sin]]s" and examples of subjective Biblical interpretation. 

In his review of ''K-19: The Widowmaker'', Carder lists "story tension episodes, action violence" under Wanton Violence/Crime, as though such things were both against the law ''and'' the teaching of [[Jesus Christ]]. No scriptural citations are made to support this.

In his review of ''Herbie: Fully Loaded'', Carder classifies "open mouth kissing" under Sexual Immorality. Likewise, in his review of ''Disturbia'', he classifies "teen girl in teen boy's bedroom without supervision" under Sexual Immorality. 'Nuff said.

Carder is also fond of listing tattoos and piercings under Impudence/Hate, but never cites scripture or otherwise elaborates on it.

==Relationship with the MPAA==
Carder is distrustful of the Motion Picture Association of America, who he feels does a disservice to children and parents by rating movies in a manner inconsistent with biblical teachings. This view was solidified by his "discovery" of "ratings creep". Carder noticed that some PG-13 movies had as much sin in them as some R rated movies,<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/r-13.htm Carder's] PG-13 -> R comparison.</ref> and calls these moves "R-13." Because of this, Carder has created a complicated CAP-to-MPAA rating guide where he notes the MPAA rating and the rating he feels it deserves based on the amount of sin in the film.

Harvard also seems to have "discovered" ratings creep,<ref>Sharon Waxman, [https://archive.fo/Wbrzt Study Finds Film Ratings Are Growing More Lenient]. Archived from ''The New York Times'', 14 July 2014.</ref> but Carder claims to have discovered it first.<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/harvardagreeswithus.htm Harvard Agrees with him! Four Years After He Proved It!]</ref>

==The Bible==
A great many sins are described in the [[Bible]], so by Carder’s standards, children would be best off avoiding this [[Bible#Unsuitable reading|unsuitable material]], but Carder will never admit this.<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capthebible.htm here Carder explains why he won't apply the same methodology to the Bible] and here we see his [http://www.capalert.com/capreports/passionofthechrist.htm review of ''The Passion of the Christ''] and his treatment of religious subjects -- he gives it a barely-passable score of 69.</ref> For example, the Bible tells kids (and adults) to hate their parents.<ref>[http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/lk/14.html The Gospel According to Luke, Chapter 14], The Skeptic's Annotated Bible. Luke 14:26: "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple."</ref> Carder takes off points for any suggestion of rebellion against parents.

==Quotes==
;''The House on Haunted Hill''
{{quotebox|Some actresses permitted the camera to photograph for public display and for pay their gender-specific parts without clothing.<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/houseonhauntedhill.htm Review of ''The House on Haunted Hill]</ref>}}

;''Brokeback Mountain''
{{quotebox|...one of the most sly and cunning anti-Christian films ever produced. It violated God's Word not by belittling or vilifying God's Word or faith in him but rather by encouraging empathy for the practice of behaviors that slap the very face of God."<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/brokebackmountain_guestcomm.htm Review of ''Brokeback Mountain'']</ref>}}

;''School of Rock''
{{quotebox|...consider the concept of the CAP Rule of 1000 which states that a movie which presents 100 examples of bad behaviors of lesser severity, each worth only 10 "bads" (such as in PG movies infrequently but almost all PG-13 movies) is just as bad as a movie that presents only 10 examples of bad behaviors but of extreme severity, each worth 100 "bads" (such as R-rated movies).<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/schoolofrock.htm Review of ''School of Rock'']</ref>}}

;''Pinocchio''
{{quotebox|Geppetto prays to the blue fairy which looks like an angel with wings and all. Geppetto kneels with palms together and head bowed which is traditionally symbolic of Christian prayer to God, but he is praying to the blue fairy. This smells a little bit like the beginnings of the use of initially small and seemingly innocuous tools and tactics to substitute Christian symbolics with "gentle" counterfeitings to draw away from the Christian faith: the beginnings of [[Paganism|paganizing]] Christianity by paganizing the children. [2 Cor. 11:3] Maybe there is nothing to the possible dangers of "wishing on a star" stealing thunder from praying to God, but maybe there is.<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/pinocchio1940.htm Review of ''Pinocchio'']</ref>}}

;''Lord of the Rings''
{{quotebox|This movie is likely another maneuver to capitalize on the new found infatuation of visually oriented youth with bright and dazzling display of the occult, witchcraft and evil. It is another presentation of the "good" using evil to fight evil. And it presents sorcery as both "good" and evil. Violently. Grotesquely.<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/lordofrings_fellowship.htm Review of ''Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring'']</ref>}}

;''The Nutty Professor II''
{{quotebox|While the most foul of the foul words was not noted even once, slack was taken up to the breaking point with at least 67 uses of the three/four letter word vocabulary [Col. 3:8] and God's name in vain both with and without the four letter expletive [Deut. 5:11]<ref>By now, I think it's obvious that you want to read the [http://www.capalert.com/capreports/nuttyprofii.htm review of ''The Nutty Professor'']</ref>}}

;''The Rocky Horror Picture Show''
{{quotebox|homosexual song/talk/dance/presence/practices" "suggestive eye movements"<ref>[http://capalert.com/capreports/rockyhorror.htm ''Rocky Horror Picture Show'' review], capalert.com. This movie got a higher score than ''Rebel Without A Cause.''</ref>}}

==Movies Carder has walked out on==
Sometimes, Carder is so offended by a movie that he leaves in the middle; in this case, he simply compiles a full review with the sins that he saw before leaving. Carder claims that this doesn't negatively impact the report, perhaps under the logic that ''every'' sound Christian would surely leave anyway after seeing such an offensive sight as… er, the Buddy Christ.

;''Dogma''
{{main|Dogma (film)|Dogma}}
{{quotebox|Dogma was quite possibly presented [[moral panic|more danger]] than [[South Park]] in a more subtle or "acceptable" way -- and used live actors and actresses to do it. Eighty-one examples of a witch's brew of foul language plus 40 examples of sexual programming in 38 minutes.<ref group=note>It's probably a good thing he left after 38 minutes, the whole black Jesus thing would have ''really'' pissed him off.</ref> I really do not need to say more, but I will.<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/dogma.htm ''Dogma''], partial review, capalert.com.</ref>}}

;''In the Cut''
{{quotebox|After 64 minutes into what is claimed to be 119 minutes long (in the US version), when Mark Ruffalo started a [[pervert]]ed phone call with Meg Ryan instructing her in what to do to in great detail, I left. That was the final straw that broke the camel's back in this which is, out of more than 750 films, subjectively speaking one of the most vulgar movies I have seen.<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/inthecutpartial.htm ''In the Cut''], partial review, capalert.com.</ref>}}

;''Kissing Jessica Stein''
{{quotebox|There is [[lesbian]] kissing and sex in it and trumped up justification for it and glorification of sexual immorality in general, as if sexual intimacy outside of a monogamous heterosexual marriage is as commonplace and routine as blowing one's nose or scratching an itch and as acceptable as a serving of desert{{sic}} after supper. I left as a lesbian pair began their couch cooing and cuddling.<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/kissingjstein.htm ''Kissing Jessica Stein''], partial review, capalert.com.</ref>}}

;''Mulholland Drive''
{{quotebox|I left when the nude lesbian licking kissing came on...<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/mulhollanddrive.htm ''Mulholland Drive''], partial review, capalert.com.</ref>}}

;''Slackers''
{{quotebox|I left after 30 minutes when the geek was sponging the [[breast]]s of a [[prostitution|prostitute]] in a hospital...<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/slackers_partial.htm ''Slackers''], partial review, capalert.com.</ref>}}

;''Sleepover''
{{quotebox|...a teen boy undresses to [[nudity]] for a shower as teen girl hiding in the shower watches intently, her gaze obviously fixed on a specific target (only his uppermost glutei maximi were seen by the audience).<ref>[http://www.capalert.com/capreports/sleepover.htm ''Sleepover''], partial review, capalert.com.</ref>}}

== See also==
*[[Censorship]]
*[[Plugged-In Online]], [[Focus on the Family]]'s pop culture reviews site

==External links==
*[http://www.capalert.com The teacup of the storm]. Updated to 2011! Dig that authentic late-'90s website design!

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

[[Category:Fundamentalist Christian websites]]
[[category:Christianity]]
[[Category:Censorship]]
[[Category:Webshites]]
[[Category:Homophobia]]
[[Category:Purity culture]]

Categories: Fundamentalist Christian websites, Christianity, Censorship, Webshites, Homophobia, Purity culture