Jeb Bush

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[[File:Governor of Florida Jeb Bush at New Hampshire Education Summit The Seventy-Four August 19th, 2015 by Michael Vadon 03.jpg|thumb|right|168px|'''J'''ust '''E'''xtraneous '''B'''ush.]]{{uspolitics}}{{Cquote|He has got a problem: me.|20px|20px|[[George W. Bush]].<ref>[http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2015/04/jebs-scarlet-letter-w-116998.html#.VTFzmhcsfcY Jeb's Scarlet Letter: W.]</ref>}}{{cquote|A hundred million bucks, a name that is American royalty, and the apparent backing of the smoke-filled room. What could go wrong? [[Murphy's Law|Only everything!]]|||[[Matt Taibbi]]<ref name="taibbi">Taibbi, [http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/the-gop-clown-car-rolls-on-20151117 "The GOP Clown Car Rolls On"], ''Rolling Stone.'')</ref>}}

{{hatnote|Did you mean [[George H.W. Bush|George Bush]], [[George W. Bush|George Bush]], or perhaps Spanish soap star {{wpl|George P. Bush||?}}}}

'''"Comrade"'''<ref group="note>During the primary, he said [http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/259563-jeb-hell-yeah-id-kill-baby-hitler "hell yeah I'd kill baby Hitler"], then after Trump won people started crafting a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lry6OR8rR4 humorous narrative] that, looking back, Jeb was the only person who could have defeated this rise of white nationalism. It's also funny because of how much he lacks any sort of charisma, so thinking of him as this revolutionary figure is absurd.</ref> "'''Low Energy'''" '''John Ellis "Please Clap"'''<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdCYMvaUcrA</ref> '''Bush''', better known by his initials ('''"JEB!"'''), {{lived|1953|}} is an [[United States|American]] politician who was Republican governor of [[Florida]] from 1999-2007 and a candidate for the [[2016 Republican Party presidential nomination|2016 Republican presidential nomination]].

A good example for a [[Hillary Clinton|"her turn"]] candidate was Bush. Yes, that name isn't lying to you: he's the younger brother of former president [[George W. Bush]] and son of former president [[George H.W. Bush]].   The establishment gave him $100 million. He went nowhere and dropped out after the second primary (and spent the money attacking Rubio in Florida?). There are going to be academic papers written about what went wrong in Jeb's campaign. The man had everything going for him at the start of this election.

Bush III would have been a record, beating out the Adams (father and son) and the Harrisons (grandfather and grandson), and arguably also the Roosevelts (fifth cousins once removed) and Madison and Taylor (second cousins).

==Personal life==

Jeb was groomed for the Presidency, but after [[Karl Rove]]'s victories in Texas, George came from behind and grabbed that brass ring before Jeb could.<ref>Steve Kornacki, [http://www.msnbc.com/hardball/the-he-coon-who-changed-history "The He-Coon who changed Jeb Bush’s political career"], [[MSNBC]].</ref>  Throughout W.'s term, Jeb was widely seen as the "smart" brother. In hindsight, though, Karl Rove knew what he was doing<ref>Hagan, Joe, [http://nymag.com/news/politics/elections-2012/jeb-bush-2012-10/index4.html "Bush in the Wilderness - Jeb Bush's Complicated Legacy"], ''New York Magazine'' 10.22.12. Spoken like a true Reaganite. ''Naah, what this country really needs is [[Iran-Contra|a dry-drunk idiot who will take the heat when his cowboys go too far.]]''</ref> when he drafted George for governor.<ref name="cringe">Krueger, Katherine, [http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/jeb-bush-saddest-funny-moments-mac-book-pro-baby "Jeb’s Most Awkward, Dignity-Losing, Cringey Moments: The Definitive Guide"], Talking Points Memo (2.4.16, 4:47 PM EST). Looks like someone on his spin team thought that "Jeb struggling with a hoodie" would humanize him. Campaign donations well-spent!</ref><ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/25/us/politics/jeb-bush-gives-party-something-to-think-about.html Michael Barboro] on Florida Governor Jeb Bush, ''[[The New York Times]]''</ref>

The Bushes are a model [[multicultural]] family. His wife, Columba, was underwhelmed at the prospect of becoming first lady
, having grown sick of being paraded around Miami for political purposes
.

In 1995, Bush converted from [[Episcopalian]]ism to [[Catholicism]]. He is also a 4th degree Knight of Columbus.

==Florida Man==
Every "reform" advocated by Jeb Bush is largely indistinguishable from [[privatization]].

*Turned [[Florida]] into a leader in [[income inequality]].<ref>[http://www.nationaljournal.com/daily/2015/04/30/why-jeb-bush-is-talking-about-income-inequality "Why Jeb Bush is Talking About Income Equality"], ''National Journal''.</ref>  Whenever he starts talking on about an "income gap' and "upward mobility",<ref>[http://www.ontheissues.org/2013_CPAC.htm Speeches to Conservative Political Action 2013 Conference].</ref> don't listen; it's just [[Supply side economics|spin.]]
*Reformed the death penalty to make it easier and quicker to execute people in Florida.<ref>Kyle Cheney, Sarah Wheaton and Tarini Parti, [http://www.politico.com/story/2014/12/whats-in-jeb-bushs-emails-113821 "What's in Jeb Bush's emails?"], Politico.</ref> [[Texas|Sound familiar?]]
*He increased mandatory minimum sentences to juvenile offenders in Florida,<ref>Mark Hollis, [http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2000-05-18/news/0005180020_1_juvenile-crime-mandatory-minimum-sentences-jeb-bush "Florida Toughest On Teen Criminals"] Sun Sentinel.</ref> increasing the mass incarceration crisis tenfold.  Not to worry, Jeb supports building more for-profit labor camps to alleviate the problem.<ref>Patrick Howard O'Neill, [http://www.dailydot.com/politics/jeb-bush-private-prisons-1980s-1990s/ "Jeb: We Ned More Private Prisons"], Daily Dot.</ref><ref>Betsy Woodruff, [http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/04/24/jeb-s-cure-for-shawshank-redemption.html "Jeb Bush’s Cure for Shawshank: Redemption"], ''Daily Beast''.</ref>
*Earned the nickname "Veto Corleone".<ref>Joshua Gillian, [http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/elections-2016/jeb-bush/article22713531.html "When Jeb Bush was known as ‘Veto Corleone’"], ''Miami Herald.''</ref>
*Crushed Florida's plans for [[high-speed rail]].<ref>John Kennedy, [http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/1999-01-15/news/9901150265_1_tom-barry-bullet-train-florida "Bush Stops Bullet Train Dead In Its Tracks"], ''Orlando Sentinel''.</ref>
*Rubber-stamped the [[NRA]]'s 
Kill At Will
 Stand Your Ground bill.<ref>Joe Strupp, [http://mediamatters.org/blog/2012/03/27/former-nra-president-we-helped-draft-floridas-s/185254 "Former NRA President: We Helped Draft Florida's "Stand Your Ground" Law"], ''Media Matters.''</ref> In Florida, Stand Your Ground laws allow lethal force if you fear for your or someone else's safety, not even their lives, just safety. Not hard to hit that hurdle. Also, the burden of proof is on the prosecutor to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that your safety was ''no''t in danger. Which is pretty hard to do when you've conveniently killed the only other witness.
*Granted ownership of the Catholic-only town of Ave Maria to [[Tom Monaghan]]'s Ave Maria Development Company "in perpetuity". Bush lauded this [[civil liberties]]-free zone in his speech at the groundbreaking.
*Signed Florida Forever into law in 1999. Florida Forever acquired lands that "protect the water quality of rivers, lakes, and springs, wildlife habitat, and provide healthy outdoor recreation opportunities for all Floridians." Basically as Eco-friendly as a Republican Governor has ever been in modern times.<ref>Ledyard King, [http://www.floridatoday.com/story/news/politics/2015/03/29/governor-bush-progressive-environmental-record/70645136/ "As governor, Bush had progressive environmental record"], ''Florida Today''.</ref> (Didn't make him too popular with the [[Club for Growth]], et al.)<ref>Clare Foran and Ben Geman, [http://www.nationaljournal.com/daily/2015/03/10/how-jeb-bushs-environmental-record-could-hurt-him-2016 "How Jeb Bush’s Environmental Record Could Hurt Him In 2016"], ''NationalJournal''.</ref><br>Though as far as is known he's still a [[climate change denier]],<ref>[http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/dec/16/jeb-bush-climate-denier-republican-presidential-candidate-2016 "Jeb Bush may be 'the smart brother' — but he's as much of a climate denier as any conservative"] Commentary by Suzanne Goldenberg (Tuesday 16 December 2014 14.06 EST) ''The Guardian''.</ref> so all of the protection could have been [[Stopped clock|moot]] if he got the keys to power.

===Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me===

As we all know, 
[[W]]
 A is the scarlet letter for adultery in Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel of the same name. Bush has taken the public shaming of the novel as part of his life's inspiration (chapter "The Restoration of Shame" in his 1995 book ''Profiles in Character'').<ref name="bassett">[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/09/jeb-bush-1995-book_n_7542964.html Jeb Bush In 1995: Unwed Mothers Should Be Publicly Shamed] by 
Laura Bassett (Posted: 06/09/2015 10:31 am EDT Updated: 06/12/2015 3:59 pm EDT) ''[[Huffington Post|HuffPost Politics]]''.</ref>
{{quotebox|He declined to veto a very controversial bill that required single mothers who did not know the identity of the father to publish their sexual histories in a newspaper before they could legally put their babies up for adoption. He later signed a repeal of the so-called "Scarlet Letter" law in 2003 after it was successfully challenged in court. −Laura Bassett<ref name="bassett"/>}}
In 2003, Bush ran the [[Manufactroversy|circus]] known as "Terri's Law", and inserted his own religious views into what should have been a private family matter. He ordered a feeding tube inserted into [[Terri Schiavo]], who had, by then, been [[Death#Brain death|brain dead]] for 13 years.

In 2003 (again), he attempted to appoint a guardian for the [[fetus]] of a woman who was raped, which apparently violated the Florida Constitution.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2003/05/15/us/gov-jeb-bush-to-seek-guardian-for-fetus-of-rape-victim.html Gov. Jeb Bush to Seek Guardian for Fetus of Rape Victim] by Dana Canedy (May 15, 2003) ''New York Times''.</ref>

===Jeb Can Fix It===

As Governor, he played a central role in the theft of the [[2000 U.S. presidential election]]. For months, election officials were unable to conclusively tell who was President, in no small part due to mishaps with the ballots that just so happened to be in Jeb's state.<ref>Julian Borger, [http://www.theguardian.com/world/2001/jun/06/uselections2000.usa "Bush brother blames for unfair Florida election"], ''[[The Guardian]]''.</ref> The ballots were the notorious "Butterfly Ballots" with the names of the people running on two sides with the holes to punch in the middle.<ref>Bruce Tognazzi, [http://www.asktog.com/columns/042ButterflyBallot.html "The Butterfly Ballot - Anatomy of a Disaster"].</ref> George Bush was at the top left of the ballot and [[Al Gore|Gore]] beneath him and [[Pat Buchanan]] at the top right, but while punching the first hole was a vote for Bush, the second hole was a vote for Buchanan and the ''third'' hole a vote for Gore.  Confused?  So were the Floridians, because it was apparently too difficult for them to simply look at where the arrows pointed.<ref>Before blaming Bush for this, though, it's worth noting that {{wpl|Theresa LePore|the person who designed said ballot}} was registered as a Democrat at the time and stated that her intent was to allow for a larger font [[irony|so all the old farts could see what they were doing]].</ref> 

His state government first conducted a massive purge of the voter rolls, aimed primarily at African Americans, and helped shut down vote-counting in South Florida in order to preserve his brother's 537-vote lead in the state. Several ballot boxes went missing or were found in a roadside ditch. By virtue of the office she held, Sec. of State Kathleen Harris presided over the recount while herself being an active member of the Dubya's campaign committee ''and'' lobbying for a choice position in his cabinet. In the end Gore flipped Florida, but because having elections decided by a handful of judges is the American Way, Bush took it to SCOTUS (''"''[[Antonin Scalia|My]]'' judges can beat up ''[[Ruth Bader Ginsburg|your]]'' judges!"'').  The final insult: Jeb transferred pension money into organizations that [http://s1.ibtimes.com/sites/www.ibtimes.com/files/styles/v2_article_large/public/2015/04/14/jebchartbushloop.png?itok=9hThPn_R donated to Dubya's campaign.]

And yes, he pulled the exact same shit in [[2004 U.S. presidential election|'04,]] purging 50,000 voters, mostly African Americans, and handing Florida to his brother.<ref>Michael Parenti, [http://www.michaelparenti.org/stolenelections.html "The Stolen Presidential Elections"].</ref>

===Education===

{{cquote|If we were designing our school system from scratch, what would it look like? I know one thing: We wouldn’t start with more than 13,000 government-run, unionized and politicized monopolies who trap good teachers, administrators and struggling students in a system nobody can escape.|||Jeb Bush<ref>Kelly Harkness, [http://dailysignal.com/2014/12/17/jeb-bushs-common-core-problem/ "Jeb Bush’s Common Core Problem"], ''The Daily Signal''.</ref>}}

Jeb's education "policy" is to funnel federal money to the church via [[School vouchers|"vouchers"]].<ref>https://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/18/us/politics/jeb-bush-20-years-after-conversion-is-guided-by-his-catholic-faith.html</ref> Nearly 70 percent of the students who participated last year attended private religious schools. They've had plenty of time to work that balance out if they cared to.<ref>[http://scienceblogs.com/deanscorner/2011/06/30/blindly-supporting-blind-faith/ Science Blogs: Blindly Supporting Blind Faith]</ref><ref>http://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/education/school-zone/os-florida-vouchers-tax-credits-growth-20160826-story.html</ref>  The law that enabled this was struck down by the Florida Supreme Court in 2006 for violating the State Constitution on funding religious organizations.<ref>[http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5159138 Court Throws Out Florida School Voucher Program]</ref><ref>[http://www.floridasupremecourt.org/pub_info/summaries/briefs/04/04-2323/Filed_01-05-2006_Opinion.pdf Bush v. Holmes: Supreme Court of Florida No. SC04-2323]</ref>

Voucher schools in Bush's home state are basically [[Deregulation|unregulated]]. Investigations of programs between 2006 and 2011 in Florida showed a number of schools running in condemned buildings unsafe for human habitation, repeat violent felons teaching/administrating, using students with learners' permits as field trip drivers to save costs (resulting in 2 deaths), reinstitution of [[corporal punishment]], and defrauding the tax payers of almost $50 million.<ref>[https://failingschools.wordpress.com/2011/06/27/fraud-abuse-in-fl-voucher-schools/ Fraud & abuse in FL voucher schools (updated)]</ref><ref>[http://www.ncpolicywatch.com/2013/04/24/school-vouchers-a-pathway-toward-fraud-and-abuse-of-taxpayer-dollars/ School Vouchers: A Pathway toward Fraud and Abuse of Taxpayer]</ref> Jeb never instated a standard curriculum for voucher schools, which resulted in curricula referencing [[Creationism|Noah's flood as literal science]], telling students [[slavery]] wasn't all that bad, [[Global warming conspiracy theory|global warming as a conspiracy]], and portraying [[homosexuals]] and child molesters using [[Bob Jones University]] publications.  Other schemes have been uncovered where students learning "business" were found soliciting coins by shaking cans on street corners, and selling illegal drugs.<ref>Gus Garcia Roberts, [http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/mckay-scholarship-program-sparks-a-cottage-industry-of-fraud-and-chaos-6381391 "McKay scholarship program sparks a cottage industry of fraud and chaos"], ''Miami Times''.</ref>  Even if students could have navigated around the terrible schools and education their credits have been declared basically worthless by other high schools and colleges.

He also favors school choice and strict standardized testing.<ref>Jeb Bush [http://www.ontheissues.org/Jeb_Bush.htm on the issues.]</ref> Obviously Jeb is strongly at odds with teacher's unions (granted they are themselves deeply flawed organizations):<ref name=Wash>Ben Wolfgang, [http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/nov/27/jeb-bush-hammers-teachers-unions-education-summit/ "Jeb Bush hammers teachers unions at education summit"], ''[[Washington Times]]''.</ref>

{{quotebox|We need to have a teacher evaluation system that is based on teachers being professionals, not part of some collective trade union bargaining process.<ref name=Wash />}}

And yet, the base still hated him because he supports Common Core. Weird.<ref>http://www.npr.org/2015/02/28/389706253/conservatives-heckle-jeb-bush-on-education-immigration</ref>

==2016 Election==

He wears glasses,<ref>Ashley Killough, [http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/14/politics/jeb-bush-glasses-2016-campaign/index.html "Bush said he was advised to stop wearing his glasses"], CNN.</ref> so he's considered to be more competent than his brother, which doesn't say all that much.  [[2016 Republican Party presidential nomination|Unfortunately for him]], his attempt to become the [[Aristocracy|third Bush to be President]] while desperately trying to avoid the "third Bush" part, failed.  

===The Good===

{{cquote|If my father had thrown away a perfectly good presidency by raising taxes, I think one of the things in life that I would learn is, ‘Don’t do that’...”|||[[Grover Norquist]], ''verso pollice''<ref name="readmylips">Brian Faler, [http://www.politico.com/story/2014/10/jeb-bushs-tax-problem-112071 "Jeb Bush's Tax Problem"], ''Politico''.</ref>}}

* Progressive on immigration,<ref>Emma Roller, [http://www.nationaljournal.com/politics/jeb-bush-illegal-immigration-is-sometimes-an-act-of-love-20140407 "Jeb Bush: Illegal Immigration Is Sometimes ‘an Act of Love’"], ''[[National Journal]].''</ref> though he eventually caved.<ref>Joy Gray, Kalli, [http://wonkette.com/598901/jeb-bush-tells-mean-pope-to-leave-his-favorite-teddy-bear-trump-alone "Jeb Bush Tells Mean Pope To Leave His Favorite Teddy Bear Trump Alone"], Wonkette (2/19/16, 11:30am). Stockholm Syndrome is real.</ref>
*Admits that [[Progressive taxation|tax hikes]] may be necessary to close the deficit.<ref name="readmylips" />
*Remarked that [[Ronald Reagan]] and [[George H. W. Bush]] would "have had a hard time" securing delegates today, a rare moment of lucidity<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/12/us/politics/jeb-bush-takes-aim-at-fellow-republicans.html Jeb Bush Questions G.O.P.’s Shift to the Right], ''The New York Times''</ref>
*Fluent in two languages<ref>Suzanne Gamboa, [http://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/jeb-bush-uses-english-spanish-step-possible-2016-run-n280641 Jeb Bush Uses English and Spanish in Step To Possible 2016 Run]. ''NBC News''. Jan 6, 2015.</ref> (his brother has yet to be fluent in one)
*Wouldn't mind having a...erm, [[Woman|bush]] on his ticket<ref>Lovelace, Ryan, [http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/jeb-bush-sees-a-female-vp-in-our-future/article/2577391 "Jeb Bush Sees a Female VP in Our Future"], Washington Examiner 12.1.15.</ref>
*If he gets elected, [[Poland]] will die laughing.<ref>[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/jeb#Polish "jeb" in Wiktionary.] His name is written the same as a strong swearword, but at least it's pronounced differently.</ref>

===The Bush===

{{cquote|When it comes to my brother, there's one thing I know for sure. He kept us safe.|||Jeb<ref>David Phillips, [http://www.examiner.com/article/jeb-bush-my-brother-kept-us-safe-trump-i-don-t-feel-safe "Jeb Bush: My brother 'kept us safe', Trump: ‘I don’t feel safe’"], ''The Examiner''.</ref><ref>''[https://twitter.com/JebBush/status/644331275210330112 He ain't heavy, he's my brother]''</ref>}}

*An [[neocon|extreme hawk]]:
** He supports strengthening the [[Cuba]]n embargo, something which even a good amount of Cuban Americans think is a relic.<ref>Marc Caputo, [http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/article4898217.html "Polls show support for embargo, Cuba hardline is in minority"], ''Miami Herald''.</ref>
**His campaign adviser is none other than [[Paul Wolfowitz]] himself, the mastermind behind Iraq.  Bush considers war with [[ISIS]] part of the "[[Clash of Civilizations]]".<ref>Hugh Hewitt, [http://www.hughhewitt.com/former-florida-governor-jeb-bush-on-2016-a-third-bush-war-and-big-government-conservatism/ "Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush On 2016, “A Third Bush War,” And Big Government Conservatism"].</ref>
** He has, inexplicably, gone on record as saying he would have invaded [[Iraq]], but tried to walk that back.<ref>Igor Bobic, [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/10/jeb-bush-iraq-hillary-clinton_n_7251872.html?post_id=10203155076592589_10203155076552588#_=_ "Jeb Bush: I, Too, Would Have Authorized Iraq Invasion"], ''Huffington''.</ref> After three days, he flip flopped a ''fifth'' time before finally saying "Okay, yeah, no, I wouldn't have invaded Iraq."<ref name="noexceptyes">Joy Gray, Kalli, [http://wonkette.com/596505/even-jeb-bushs-brother-george-thinks-hes-a-dumb-ahole "Even Jeb Bush’s Brother George Thinks He’s A Dumb Asshole"], Wonkette 11.30.15. '''Dubya''': "Stop it with this shit. Say whatever you have to say."</ref><ref name="taibbi" />
** Let's trace it all the way back to 1998, just before he became Governor. In that year, the [[Project for the New American Century]] (PNAC), a [[neoconservative]] [[think tank]], was calling for war with Iraq three years prior to 9/11. The members included [[Dick Cheney]], [[Donald Rumsfeld]], [[Paul Wolfowitz]], [[William Kristol]], [[Scooter Libby]], [[John Bolton]], Richard Perle, Robert Kagan, Francis Fucking Fukuyama… and, of course, Jeb Bush. It's all there in black and white: {{wpl|Project for the New American Century#Signatories to Statement of Principles|Signatories to PNAC's "Statement of Principles".}}
** Roasted by Rubio for having “no foreign policy experience”, Jeb shot back with an arsenal of knowledge...  like personally training the [[Abu Ghraib]] prison guards.<ref name="hurst">Hurst, Evan, [http://wonkette.com/598748/jeb-bush-so-proud-of-how-his-florida-boys-did-abu-ghraib "BREAKING NEWS, Jeb Bush opened his mouth and his dick came out and then he stepped on it"], Wonkette (2/12/16 - 3:15pm).</ref>
*Purchasing his son, George, a political office in (where else?) Texas. Stop trying to push for an aristocracy!<ref>Karen McVeigh, [http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/mar/11/george-p-bush-us-political-dynasties-kennedy-clinton-2016-presidential-election "George P Bush and the US obsession with political dynasties"], ''[[The Guardian]]''.</ref>
*Thinks the [[Affordable Care Act]] should be repealed and replaced with Apple Watches.<ref>Steve Benen, [http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/jeb-bush-sees-apple-watch-part-anti-obamacare-plan "If you get cancer, you may need chemotherapy, not a new watch."], [[MSNBC]].</ref>
*Supports the [[War on Drugs]]<ref>[http://www.ontheissues.org/2016/Jeb_Bush_Drugs.htm Jeb Bush on drugs.]</ref> despite being remembered as a regular [[pot]] smoker as a kid.<ref>Nicole Flatlow, [http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2015/02/01/3617867/jeb-bush-admits-smoked-marijuana-wants-keep-pot-illegal/ "Classmates Remember Jeb Bush As A Regular Pot-Smoker"], ''ThinkProgress''.</ref>
** Blames Mexicans for his daughter's drug addiction.<ref>Revesz, Rachael, [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/jeb-bush-blames-mexicans-for-his-daughter-s-drug-addiction-a6798091.html "Jeb Bush blames Mexicans for his daughter’s drug addiction"], ''Independent'' 1.6.16. ([https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcbsnews2.cbsistatic.com%2Fhub%2Fi%2Fr%2F2002%2F01%2F29%2Fcb5abf6b-a642-11e2-a3f0-029118418759%2Fthumbnail%2F620x350%2Fimage326115x.jpg%3Fhash%3Dc04a657d243cd1c90c84947f3f8d06e8&f=1 Her mugshot.] Wow, one look at that face and President Trump is going to deport her back to Mexico.)</ref> As a Republican who isn't a scientist (except when speaking as an unlicensed gynecologist stating that 500 million dollars is more than America can afford to fund [[Planned Parenthood]] clinics),<ref>Shabad, Rebecca, [http://thehill.com/policy/finance/250238-jeb-the-next-president-should-defund-planned-parenthood "Jeb Bush: 'The next president should defund Planned Parenthood'"], The Hill 8.4.15.</ref> perhaps he should be looking at his daughter's habit of passing bad scripts rather than some black tar from some [[Race card|cholo street pharmacist.]]<ref>Sharp, Deborah, [http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2002/01/29/noelle-bush.htm "Jeb Bush's daughter charged with prescription fraud"], ''[[USA Today]]'' 1.29.02. FREE NOELLE BUSH!</ref>
* Help! We have to fight "evil" encryption by private companies preventing my government from [[NSA|spying on people!]]<ref>Bill Barrow, [http://www.forensicmag.com/news/2015/08/jeb-bush-wants-fight-evil-encryption "Jeb Bush Wants to Fight 'Evil' Encryption"], DGI.</ref>
* Has proven to be just as gaffe-prone as his brother.<ref name="cringe" /><ref>[https://twitter.com/JebBush/status/405836597368602624 Does Obamacare cover stupid?]</ref><ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0clNrLUi40 "Supergirl's pretty hot!"] Yeah, George W.'s buffoonery was probably rehearsed, too. But at least he could sell it. Jeb is a human "Kick Me" sign.</ref><ref>Hensley, Nicole, [http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/jeb-bush-gay-friend-email-memoir-won-vote-article-1.2339080 "Jeb Bush’s ‘gay friend’ in email memoir 'Reply All' won’t vote for him"], ''NY Daily News'' 8.27.15. Jeb has a [[Friend argument|gay friend]] wait no he doesn't.</ref>
*Will do more to protect the Gulf than Dub—wait, is that [[Hurricane Katrina|‘Heckuva Job, Brownie’]] in Jeb’s campaign ad??<ref>Garcia, Arturo, [http://www.rawstory.com/2015/08/heck-of-a-job-jeb-bush-features-official-behind-botched-katrina-response-in-hurricane-ad/ "Heck of a job, Jeb: Bush features official behind botched Katrina response in ‘hurricane’ ad"], Raw Story 8.25.15.</ref>
*Trades on his name, just like his bro.<ref name="nyt"/>  Following his governorship, he was hired by a thoroughly scam-alicious company known as InnoVida as a $15,000/month consultant. The position led to board membership and stock options. Leadership of InnoVida were involved in drug running and securities fraud.<ref>[http://www.cnn.com/2015/03/30/politics/election-2016-jeb-bush-business/ Jeb Bush missed red flags in Florida business scandal] by Chris Frates, ''CNN'' Updated 6:00 AM ET, Mon March 30, 2015.</ref><ref name="nyt">[http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/17/us/politics/for-jeb-bush-the-businessman-lawsuits-and-bad-publicity.html?_r=0 For Jeb Bush the Businessman, Lawsuits and Bad Publicity] by Steve Eder (April 16, 2015) ''New York Times''</ref>
*Called [[net neutrality]] "crazy"<ref>[http://time.com/3736443/net-neutrality-fcc-jeb-bush/ "Jeb Bush: Net Neutrality Decision Is ‘Crazy’"], ''TIME''.</ref> and has vowed to kill it.<ref>Sam Gustin, [http://motherboard.vice.com/read/jeb-bush-ill-kill-the-fccs-net-neutrality-rules "Jeb Bush: I’ll Kill the FCC’s Net Neutrality Rules"], ''VICE''.</ref>
*Thinks poor children should need straight parents to do better in society.<ref>David Badash, [http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/breaking_jeb_bush_says_only_traditional_marriage_can_give_children_born_in_poverty_a_chance "Only straight parents can lift children out of poverty!"], NCRM.</ref> He also supported [[Mike Pence|Mike "Ignite the Sodomite" Pence]]'s Religious Freedom bill.  This in spite of his own damn state legalizing gay marriage and several counties passing anti-discrimination laws.<ref>Tom McCarthy, [http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/apr/02/jeb-bush-flip-flop-indiana-anti-gay-law "Jeb Bush flip-flop on Indiana law shows what a difference two days make"], ''Guardian''.</ref>
*Advocates public shaming of unwed mothers. This is despite the fact that all three of his own two-parent household children have been arrested<ref>[http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/george-p-bush/jeb-bush-offspring-904736 There Is A Good Reason Why Jeb Bush Would Prefer To Talk About Your Aimless Kids] June 30, 2015 ''The Smoking Gun''. The total charges include: public intoxication, cocaine possession, resisting arrest, burglary, criminal mischief, fraudulently obtaining a controlled substance...</ref><ref>[http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/celebrity/another-bush-caught-act Another Bush Caught In The Act] November 16, 2000 ''The Smoking Gun''. ...and caught but not arrested for sexual misconduct. So remember, kids: [[Hypocrisy|do as I say not as I do]].</ref> 
*Thinks it is "arrogant" of scientists to accurately deduce that [[climate change]] is man-made.
*Showed, in a foreign policy speech, a complete lack of understanding on basic facts over other countries, such as confusing [[Iraq]] for [[Iran]], saying [[ISIS]] had 200,000 soldiers when it's actually 20,000, mispronouncing [[Boko Haram]] as Boo-koo Haram, and saying the Caliph of ISIS is not the Caliph, but the Supreme Leader (you know, [[Ali Khamenei|''Iran's'' dictator]]).<ref>[http://www.salon.com/2015/02/19/shocking_and_awful_own_man_jeb_bush_sounds_as_ill_informed_on_foreign_policy_as_his_brother/ Salon: Shocking and awful: "Own man" Jeb Bush sounds as ill-informed on foreign policy as his brother]</ref>
* Failed to win his mom's endorsement.<ref>[http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/jeb-bush-dismisses-mother-barbara-bush-suggestion-shouldn-run-article-1.1358419 Barbara Bush: America has "had enough Bushes"] (Ouch), ''Daily News''.</ref>

===Chaos theory in action===

[[File:Jeb!.svg|right|thumb|168px|Given that they won't even use his last name on campaign material, this was never going to end well.]]

His momentum was strong until he ran into Trump,<ref>Tom LoBianco, [http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/19/politics/donald-trump-jeb-bush-too-rough/index.html "Trump says he 'felt bad' after being 'too rough' on Jeb Bush"], CNN. '''Trump''': "I don't know if I want him negotiating with ISIS. I think Trump will do a lot better. You think so too, but you're not going to say it."</ref> who rocketed to the head of the polls, despite not actually spending any money yet. Clinton herself pushed for more Trump coverage in the primaries, as it would pull Jeb to the right. Looks like that [[Crazification factor|backfired a little.]]<ref>Debendetti, Gabriel, [http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/11/hillary-clinton-2016-donald-trump-214428 "They Always Wanted Trump"], Politico 11.7.16.</ref> 

Bear in mind that, at the start of the race, Jeb! was raising so much money that headlines were calling it "unprecedented".<ref>Ed O'Keefe and Matea Gold, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/jeb-bush-and-allied-super-pac-raise-an-unprecedented-114-million-war-chest/2015/07/09/652e1206-2651-11e5-b72c-2b7d516e1e0e_story.html "Jeb Bush and super PAC raise an unprecedented $114 million haul"], ''[[Washington Post]]''.</ref> Suddenly, even multigenerational backers of his family were publicly saying that they won't touch him.<ref>Michael C. Bender, [http://www.newsmax.com/Politics/jeb-courts-brothers-backers/2015/10/23/id/697651/ "Jeb Bush Aims to Win Over His Family's Backers"] ("He may be a little too reserved"), ''Bloomberg''.</ref><ref>Brennan, Christopher, [http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/youngest-bush-brother-marvin-voting-libertarian-article-1.2728831 "Youngest Bush family brother Marvin endorses Libertarian Gary Johnson instead of Trump"], NY Daily News (27 July 2016, 7:48 PM). Remember when Jeb's brother endorsed Libertarian candidate Bill Weld instead of him? Good times.</ref> He couldn't even spin his campaign operations manager quitting on him in a good light. No new endorsements on the horizon...<ref>[[Nate Silver]], [http://fivethirtyeight.com/datalab/jeb-bush-cnbc-republican-debate/ "Yeah Jeb Bush is Probably Toast"], ''FiveThirtyEight.''</ref> unless you count [[Eric Cantor]]. Now ''there's'' a guy with success written all over him.<ref>Holmes, Kristen, [http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/27/politics/jeb-bush-eric-cantor-endorsement/index.html "Eric Cantor endorses Jeb Bush for president"], CNN 8.27.15.</ref>

By January, the campaign was getting kinda pathetic as it dragged poor 
[[Rand_Paul#The_Thing_That_Wouldn.27t_Leave|Ron Paul]]
 Barbara Bush out to do an ad for him.<ref>Earle, Geoff, [http://nypost.com/2016/01/22/barbara-bush-endorses-jeb-bush-in-new-ad/ "Barbara Bush endorses Jeb Bush in new ad"], ''New York Post'' 01.22.16. (Desperation setting in.)</ref> He suspended his campaign in mid-February.<ref>Ashly Parker and Michael Barbaro, [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/21/us/politics/jeb-bush.html?_r=0 "Jeb Bush Suspended Campaign, Humbled and Outmaneuvered"], ''New York Times'' 02.20.16. ''"Zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. I'm sick of playing second fiddle. I'm always third in line for everything. I'm tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm suspending my campaign."''</ref>

Odd thing: The so-called "pee tape" dossier on Trump was sponsored by "an unnamed Republican candidate for President" and then passed into Clinton's hands. The Bushes and Clintons are famous for being collaborative and friendly. Who the heck else in the GOP would hand over valuable intel to Hillary?<ref>Salaky, Kristin, [http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/report-trump-russia-dossier-originated-with-jeb-bush-super-pac "Did The Trump-Russia Dossier Grow Out Of Jeb Bush’s Super PAC?"], TPM (11 January 2017, 5:43 PM).</ref><ref>Adam Entous, Devlin Barrett and Rosalind S. Helderman, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/clinton-campaign-dnc-paid-for-research-that-led-to-russia-dossier/2017/10/24/226fabf0-b8e4-11e7-a908-a3470754bbb9_story.html?utm_term=.773521259561 "Clinton campaign, DNC paid for research that led to Russia dossier"], WaPo (24 October 2017, 7:21 PM).</ref>

Putting aside the logistics (his shitty ground game for starters),<ref>Schleifer, Theodore, [http://www.cnn.com/2015/12/30/politics/jeb-bush-tv-advertising-field-program-change/index.html "Jeb Bush abruptly cancels TV time to send staff into the field"], CNN (12.30.15, Updated 9:52 PM ET).</ref> what went wrong?

====It Was Acceptable in the 80's====

He never had the verbal sparring skills of Trump or Cruz, and his lack of confidence shown through. He was raised to be a fuzzy, grandfatherly politician like his dad was.<ref>Shirley, Craig, [http://blogs.reuters.com/great-debate/2015/02/06/a-president-jeb-bush-would-trample-on-reagans-legacy/ "Is Jeb Bush just another ‘big government’ liberal?"], Reuters 2.6.15.</ref>  Right now, America needs outlandish politicians like porn addicts need escalating levels of kinky shit to get off.<ref>Taibbi, [http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/the-year-the-trump-laughter-died-20151229 "In the Year of Trump, the Joke Was On Us"], ''Rolling Stone'' 12.29.15.</ref> 

====Stay the course====

Jeb! thought that W. would be his secret weapon in South Carolina, and that Trump's 9-11 comments would tank him. He was caught totally off-guard by lingering resentment of neo-cons, not only among liberals and independents, but bright-red conservatives. He was stuck dumb by predictable questions like "was the Iraq war a mistake?" 

Also, he'd have to fight tooth and nail to blame the economic problems of 2008 (four months before GWB left office) on Obama [[Revisionism|instead of his own brother.]]<ref>Davidsen, Dana, [http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/08/26/jeb-bush-obama-should-stop-blaming-others-for-the-bad-economy/ "Jeb Bush: Obama should stop blaming others for the economy"], CNN  (8.26.12
03:11 PM ET).</ref><ref>Gillin, Joshua, [http://www.politifact.com/florida/statements/2015/sep/15/donald-trump/trump-blames-bush-recession-florida/ "Donald Trump blames Jeb Bush for the recession in Florida"], Politifact (9.15.15 at 6:03 p.m.). '''Trump''': "Jeb’s policies in Florida helped lead to its almost total collapse. Right after he left he went to work for Lehman Brothers — wow!"</ref> The Bush campaign lived (and died) in a [[Echo chamber|neocon bubble.]]<ref>Spiliakos, Peter, [http://www.nationalreview.com/postmodern-conservative/395519/jeb-bush-post-obama-establishment-republican-peter-spiliakos "Jeb Bush, Post-Obama Establishment Republican"], ''[[National Review]]'' (12.30.14 3:15 PM).</ref><ref>Lehigh, Scott, [http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/gop-primaries/264417-kasich-compares-bush-to-betamax-macarena-in-ad "Jeb Bush, stuck in time"], ''Boston Globe'' 2.17.6.</ref>

====Took 'er jerbs====

GWB billed himself as a [[compassionate conservative]], and on the issue of immigration he at least he tried to live up to it. After the [[2012 U.S. presidential election|2012 elections]], the establishment decided to wake up and take notice of changing demographics in this country, or else they would never win the presidency again. The demographic they had the best chance of swinging was Latinos, specifically [[Evangelicalism|evangelical]] Latinos. The idea was to soften up on immigration, but keep the rest of the platform exactly the same. This would also play well among [[Neoliberalism|the business wing]] of the party.<ref>Budoff Brown, Carrie, [http://www.politico.com/story/2011/01/jeb-gop-stupid-to-ignore-hispanics-047622 "Jeb: GOP 'stupid' to ignore Hispanics"], Politico (01/14/11 12:50 PM EST).</ref>

Since around 2004-5, though, Congress has steadily lost all perspective on the issue.  Republican voters do not want amnesty for illegals. [[Eric Cantor|Cantor]] got primaried partly because he wasn't hard enough on immigration. The Senate attempted to pass reform via the "Gang of Eight" (a bipartisan group of eight senators), and the House scuttled the bill. It backfired so bad that Rubio, who co-sponsored the bill on immigration reform, is now saying he never intended for that bill to pass, uh huh.<ref>Devaney, Tim, [http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/269483-rubio-gang-of-8-immigration-bill-never-meant-to-pass "Rubio: 'Gang of 8' immigration bill never meant to pass"], The Hill (2.1516, 02:58 pm).</ref> Trump's victory only strengthened the anti-immigrant faction of the party.

The Tea Party wants to make this a [[Wedge issue|hot button]] issue for voters. They want to have big arguments about it so they can ramp up the "Liberals are ruining America" rhetoric. Just like abortion, just like social security, just like guns and drugs.

====Finish Him====

{{cquote|They got defined as "low energy" by a guy who took an escalator to his own announcement.|||Anonymous Bush insider<ref name="stokols" />}}

Jeb? is a wimpy son of greater scions.<ref name="stokols">Stokols, Eli, [http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/02/jeb-bush-dropping-out-set-up-to-fail-213662 "Inside Jeb Bush's $150 Million Failure"], Politico 2/20/16.</ref><ref>Magary, [http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/jeb-cant-fake-a-spleen-the-gop-cant-fake-a-candidate-1739391361 "Jeb Bush Can't Fake a Spleen"], Deadspin. Hard to believe now, but we were ''promised'' an angrier Jeb Bush.</ref><ref>Rubin, Nathan, [http://www.gq.com/story/jeb-bush-please-clap-pity-party "How Jeb Bush Lost His Political Mojo but Won Our Pity"], GQ 2.10.16.</ref> It's quite amazing what Trump did: Someone who has never been in the political arena was able to take out his biggest competitor—a Bush on top of that!—by ''redefining'' Bush.  Nobody was calling Bush "low energy" or saying he had no charisma until Trump started [[Argument by repetition|repeating it over and over.]] (Trump's M.O. isn't to attack on actual ''issues''.) 

Then the media picked up on it.<ref>Wilstein, Matt, [http://www.mediaite.com/tv/cnn-helps-trump-brand-jeb-bush-as-low-energy/ "CNN Helps Trump Brand Jeb Bush as ‘Low Energy'"] Mediate (9/8/15 6:26 pm).</ref> Pundits started saying it. Comedians were making fun of him for it. And now that's what everyone thinks of him.<ref>LoGiurato, Brett, [http://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-jeb-bush-low-energy-2015-11 "TRUMP: Here's the backstory on my 'low-energy' takedown of Jeb Bush"], Business Insider (11.19.15, 12:08 PM ).</ref>

Remember "Please clap"? Here's the thing.  Jeb's ''own people'' made it, because they thought it would play well. There are multiple such videos.  Then his campaign imploded and a journalist dug it up and made it viral. People were acting like it's a sign of how his campaign was collapsing—when it was 7 months old. The power of the 4th estate.

After that, Bush kept backpeddling<ref>Parker, Ashley, [http://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/30/us/politics/jeb-bush-sprints-to-escape-donald-trumps-low-energy-label.html "Jeb Bush Sprints to Escape Donald Trump’s ‘Low Energy’ Label"], NYT 12.29.15.</ref> and praying that there's no way America would allow this man-child to stay in the race. But Donald only grew in the polls. 
(''Jeb Bush took his mom out on the campaign trail to pimp him. There is nothing [[Machismo|alpha]] about Jeb Bush!''<ref>Ed O'Keefe and Jenna Johnson, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2016/01/23/donald-trump-just-dragged-jeb-bushs-mommy-into-their-fight/ "Donald Trump just dragged Jeb Bush’s ‘mommy’ into their fight"], WaPo 1.23.16. ''Mommy can't fight ISIS for you, Jeb!'' </ref> How's that worse than using your daughter to do the same?)

==See also==
*[[Howard Dean]]
*[[Rand Paul]] — Where people got this idea that Paul is idiosyncratic and his own man is a mystery. If the speeches aren't 98% in line with the GOP, it's probably something he picked up from the [[John Birch Society]]. Which is becoming more and more mainstream anyhow.

==External Links==

*[http://kotaku.com/the-internet-reacts-to-jeb-bushs-dumb-gun-tweet-1759494656 The internet reacts to Jeb's dumb gun tweet.]

==Notes==

{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==

{{reflist|2|80%}}
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