Yogic flying

[[File:JeffreySmithYogicFlying.jpg|thumb|165px|[[Jeffrey Smith]] demonstrates Yogic flying in 1996 — oddly, the three spectators look rather bored.]]{{newage}}
{{cquote|As the wise proverb observes, you should never make fun of a fellow human being, until you have bounced a mile in his buttocks.|||[[Wikipedia:Rex Murphy|Rex Murphy]] on [[Natural Law Party|Doug Henning's Natural Law Party]]}}
{{cquote|That wasn't flying; that was falling with style.|||Sheriff Woody}}
'''Yogic flying''' is, we are told, a "natural extension of [[Transcendental Meditation]]".

According to Yogic Flying Clubs for Students:<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20050208232715/http://yogicflyingclubs.org/yogic_flying.html Yogic Flying Clubs for Students]</ref>

{{cquote|In the silent, self-referral level of their consciousness, they introduce the technique for Yogic Flying, according to the specific procedure they’ve learned, and their bodies spontaneously lift up. At the same time, they experience great clarity of consciousness, energy, exhilaration, and unboundedness.}}

It is otherwise known as bouncing on your buttocks.<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHwhGUo90jw Yogic Flying by Nat Geo]</ref><ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlw8CxTkyxA Yogic Flying Competition by Amit Singh]</ref> Yes, really.

==World peace==
The benefits of yogic flying are, it seems, not limited to students. According to the same source, when sufficiently large numbers of people practice yogic flying, other effects appear:

{{cquote|This coherence-creating effect, termed the {{wpl|Maharishi}} {{wpl|Maharishi effect|Effect|,}} neutralizes {{wpl|stress}} and negativity in the innermost fabric of the nation. The [[crime]] rate drops. [[Disease|Sickness]] and accident rates drop. [[Inflation]] and unemployment decline and the [[economy]] improves. Even [[terrorism]] and open [[war]]fare have been reduced or stopped and the superpowers have become friendlier.}}

==Levels==
It is claimed that there are three levels to yogic flying. The initial stage is bouncing up and down on one's bottom in the lotus position; the second stage is floating; and the final stage really is flying.<ref>[http://www.amazingabilities.com/amaze9a.html Personal experience of yogic flying]</ref> Yes, you too can learn to fly!<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20031221115618/http://tmyogicflying.org/aboutc.htm yes, honestly, fly]</ref><ref group=note>The trick is, perhaps, to throw the ground at your arse and miss?</ref>

==Cutting edge science==
This is no mystical "woo", but real science as can be seen from this [[quote mining|quote]]:<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20050208154625/http://yogicflyingclubs.org/fundamentals.html Fundamentals of Invincibility]</ref>

{{cquote|The latest scientific discoveries in the fields of quantum mechanics and quantum field theory reveal the fundamental principles of invincibility that are practically applied through Maharishi’s Unified Field-Based Approach to the Creation of World Peace and that can practically achieve unprecedented levels of national security, strength, and invincibility. These principles include:<br/>
The Principle of Indomitable Strength. The Heisenberg uncertainty principle states that a system’s intrinsic energy is proportional to its characteristic frequency:...}}

So no [[quantum woo]] or [[technobabble]] here, folks! No sir!<ref group=note>Just confusion between the Heisenberg principle and the Planck relation.</ref>

=== The pictures prove it! ===

You've probably seen pictures of Yogic flying in action, like the one shown at the top of this page.

You'll notice there's a lack of videos demonstrating Yogic flying past the hopping stage, though. This is because the still photos are snapped at the moment the practitioner happens to be in mid-air in the middle of one of his butt bounces. He's not hovering, he's ''falling''.

August 9th, 2022 update: In the year of our Lord 2021, a video of the final stage has finally emerged on the Information Superhighway. Haters will say it's fake.
{{youtube|BYPEMlla3LI}}

==See also==
*[[Yoga]]
*[[Fart]]
*[[Levitation]]

==External links==
*[https://www.suggestibility.org/sidhi.shtml Former butt-hopper explains how it works]
*[http://tm.universal-path.org/Science/Yogic-Pseudoflying The truth about Yogic Foam hopping]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

[[Category:New Age]]
[[Category:Woo]]
[[Category:Quantum woo]]
[[Category:Conspirituality]]

Categories: New Age, Woo, Quantum woo, Conspirituality