Jonah Goldberg

{{bronze}}[[File:3964839466_b6cefd9c33.jpg|thumb|upright|right|165px| Jonah Goldberg, pondering what else to do with his career. (Well, other than [http://ricks.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2014/09/19/actually_no_there_are_no_military_dogs_left_behind bullshitting about military dogs.])]]{{uspolitics}}{{hatnote|For the love of all you hold dear, do not confuse with {{wpl|Jeffrey Goldberg||,}} who can be a bit pompous but is actually intelligent and thoughtful, if biased.}}
'''Jonah Goldberg''' {{lived|1968|}}, known to liberal bloggers as Doughy Pantload,<ref>https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=doughy%20pantload</ref> is a [[pundit]] and editor at the ''[[National Review Online]]'', the website for the well-known [[conservative]] magazine the ''National Review'', and has done great work in helping destroying its brand (when it's not too busy destroying itself). His mother was "[[Ratfucking|ratfucker]]" {{wpl|Lucianne Goldberg}} {{lived|1935|2022}}, who became famous by masquerading as a [[journalist]] to spy on the 1972 [[Democrat]]ic presidential campaign for [[Richard Nixon]] and later by helping to touch off the [[Bill Clinton#West Schwing|Monica Lewinsky scandal]]. [[Andrew Sullivan]] alleges that Goldberg received his position due to [[nepotism]] rather than to actual merit.<ref>[http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2007/10/conservative-me.html Andrew Sullivan: Conservative Meritocracy Thrives] </ref>

Goldberg wrote a book called ''[[#Liberal Fascism, or Goldberg's Load|Liberal Fascism]]'' in which he claims that Swarthmore-educated grade-school [[Education|teachers]] are a greater risk than actual [[fascist]]s.<ref>''Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Change'' by Jonah Goldberg (2009). Crown Forum. {{isbn|0767917189}}.</ref><ref>[http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/8193.html Here you can find scanned in copies of the table of contents and the inside jacket of the book.]</ref> (This is despite the fact that he doesn't even know basic [[history]] about [[Benito Mussolini]].)<ref>Glenn Greenwald, [http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2008/01/11/goldberg/index.html Jonah Goldberg's deeply "conflicted" thoughts on war and torture]. Salon, 12 November 2017.{{quotebox|"Mussolini was born a socialist, he died a socialist, he never abandoned his love of socialism, he was one of the most important socialist intellectuals in Europe and was one of the most important socialist activists in Italy, and '''the only reason he got dubbed a fascist and therefore a right-winger is because he supported World War I.'''" (Emphasis added)}}</ref>

The underlying premise is so poor that readers should be encouraged to pick it up in order to see what tripe the National Review actually publishes. For example, the book clearly states that [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]'s [[Nazism|National Socialist party (National Socialist German Workers' Party)]] was Socialist because it included the term in its name, which of course is on par with saying that a pineapple is a type of apple. This is not so much discredited but dismissed as idiocy by sane people.

Most bloggers find him an arrogant bloviator. He does get points for his massive [[geek]] cred; otherwise, the depths of his inanity make him a worthless pundit. He has a [[logical fallacy]], [[Jonanism]], named after him.

He has been a notable critic of Donald Trump and his MAGA movement.<ref>https://www.politico.com/news/2019/10/08/trump-media-dispatch-bulwark-041121</ref> The universe seems to have a strange sense of justice, as he went from telling liberals worried about the growing influence of Fascism among republicans "no u" to...being worried about the growing influence of Fascism among republicans. <ref>[https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/gop-fight-over-nazis-controls-120000767.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAHXuSQ2VO76uR5B2IYd0B_DLkntm9cL8dcn-ys2RP3v4_4ow_EFkXuTbpKh4XyYMrWtHRnhsJ-IxiYfgotGxaGPizfh6sxrNmEXrNblWs670sGY2jgkMgSdWxCQsvEKT0Xt8ZPlHx2-2d3Eau_fO5SRWfL_qLYGf6AKKIDt3rmtD The GOP’s fight over Nazis is about who controls the party’s future]</ref>

==Politics==
Goldberg is a true [[Movement Conservative]], meaning that his politics shift with the times. During the [[George W. Bush|Bush]] years, he was a bedwetter in the [[chickenhawk]] mold. With the return of the Democrats to power, he shifted to a quasi-[[libertarian]] perspective. Not surprisingly, this coincided with the release of his book, which would have seemed a tad [[hypocrite|hypocritical]] if he were still begging the government to [[Guantanamo|lock up the bad people with the funny names]]. Still, hints of [[authoritarianism]] still slip through the cracks.<ref group=note>[http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=NjQwNmYzNGIxOWM5NGFkYzU2NjJjOTU2Y2JmMWVlYmI= This post], in which he argues that noting the [[War on Drugs|racial disparities in drug enforcement]] is [[Not even wrong|itself racist]], is a good example. Even better, he posts an email from a reader who argues that the fact that we lock up more [[African American|blacks]] than whites for drug crimes ''[[fractal wrongness|is actually good for the black community]]''. Libertarianism!</ref> Even better is his stance on [[waterboarding]]. At one point, he admitted it was [[torture]] (under certain circumstances, and after suggesting it may have been worthwhile).<ref>[http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/180563/sounds-torture-me/jonah-goldberg Sounds Like Torture to Me], The Corner, April 20 2009</ref><ref group=note>Goldberg has previously shown at least tacit support for the use of torture - see [http://townhall.com/columnists/JonahGoldberg/2005/12/09/ban_torture_not_on_the_silver_screen here] and [http://townhall.com/columnists/JonahGoldberg/2006/09/27/when_push_comes_to_torture here.]Interesting perspective for a libertarian, no?</ref> He later walked it back, posting reader comments arguing that waterboarding isn't really torture if you do it by the book.<ref>[http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/180577/183/jonah-goldberg 183], The Corner, April 20 2009</ref> Of course, it is possible that he was merely posting these e-mails to demonstrate the depravity of his readers.

In addition to torture, Goldberg appears to endorse the [[Extrajudicial execution|assassination]] of whistleblowers. In one blog post, he fantasized about [[Julian Assange]] being garroted.<ref>[http://www.salon.com/news/politics/war_room/2010/10/29/jonah_goldberg_kill_julian_assange/ This will exist forever.]</ref> [[Wingnuts]] like him like to talk tough but usually want someone else to do the wet work.

As to be expected, Goldberg is also a [[Global warming denialism|global warming denier]], though most of his arguments seem to involve rambling about "[[Climategate]]."<ref>[http://townhall.com/columnists/jonahgoldberg/2009/12/03/groupthink_and_the_global_warming_industry/page/full "Groupthink. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."]</ref><ref>http://articles.latimes.com/2011/apr/26/opinion/la-oe-goldberg-climate-change-20110426</ref> He's also made some noise about non existent [[DDT]] bans,<ref>http://www.nationalreview.com/liberal-fascism/203473/ddt-exterminationism</ref> and seems to hit most of the [[Anti-environmentalism|anti-environmentalist]] [[talking point]]s when talking about anything even remotely environmental.

===At the Corner===
Much of the mockery Goldberg receives comes from his posts at the Corner, the NRO group blog. Goldberg has a reputation for posting links to flash [[video games|games]] and [[YouTube]] videos in lieu of actual commentary. When he does get around to writing about politics, he tends to do so via bare links or [[Instapundit]]-style grunts.<ref>[http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/5354.html A full week of posts, reduced to their essence]</ref> This behavior, combined with his habit of avoiding discussions by claiming to be on deadline,<ref>[http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/12/29/hello-i-must-be-going-i-cannot-stay-i-came-to-say-i-must-be-going/ Hello, I must be going. I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going], TBogg, December 29 2009</ref><ref>[http://instaputz.blogspot.com/2010/05/it-burns.html It Burns], Instaputz, May 20 2010</ref> has given him a reputation for laziness.

His most notable achievement at the Corner was coining the neologism "bleg" — a portmanteau of blog and beg — which he defined as "an appeal for thoughts or more to readers of one's blog."<ref>[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bleg Urban Dictionary: "bleg"]</ref> That alone should tell you everything you need to know about Goldberg's work ethic.

==Is Goldberg a clueless asshole?==
In a word: Duh?

Goldberg received widespread criticism for an unbelievably heartless post he left at the Corner on August 29, 2005, the day that [[Hurricane Katrina]] hit New Orleans. The post, in full:

{{quotebox|I think it's time to face facts. That place is going to be a Mad Max/thunderdome Waterworld/Lord of the Flies horror show within the next few hours. My advice is to prepare yourself now. Hoard weapons, grow gills and learn to communicate with serpents. While you're working on that, find the biggest guy you can and when he's not expecting it beat him senseless. Gather young fighters around you and tell the womenfolk you will feed and protect any female who agrees to participate without question in your plans to repopulate the earth with a race of gilled-supermen. It's never too soon to be prepared.<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20050907132230/http://corner.nationalreview.com/05_08_28_corner-archive.asp The Internet remembers your sins, Mr. Goldberg]</ref>}}

A week later, Goldberg wrote another post apologizing for his horrible statements. Well... to be perfectly accurate, he spent 100 words apologizing and 1000 words criticizing someone else for incorrect statements about Katrina.<ref>[http://old.nationalreview.com/goldberg/goldberg200509060945.asp Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers], The Corner, September 06 2005</ref> Still, the fact that he said anything about it at all meant that he learned something from his mistakes.

Unfortunately, between 2005 and 2010, he forgot that lesson. Responding to the catastrophic earthquake in [[Haiti]], he argued that the real problem in Haiti was its "[[Fun:Asshole|poverty culture]]" and that we needed to show the country "tough love" to help the Haitians shake it off.<ref>[http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/haiti_true_curse_b2jXL3a8JoXWcLSC8wzuQI Haiti's True Curse] - Bring some tranquilizers if you plan on reading this.</ref> Maybe if the US and Europe hadn't deliberately made things difficult for Haiti,<ref>https://www.cfr.org/backgrounder/haitis-troubled-path-development</ref> it could shed some of that poverty, ''n'est-ce pas''?

At least he has shown some bright side by being against Donald Trump and his [[Trumpism|MAGA]] movement.

==''Liberal Fascism'', or Goldberg's Load==
{{cquote|''[[Irony meter|The use and abuse of Nazi analogies has been a major peeve of mine for quite some time. Here's how I put it in a column on this subject about a year and half ago: 'If someone isn't advocating the murder of millions of people in gas chambers and a global Reich for the White Man, you shouldn't assume he's a Nazi and you should know it's pretty damn evil to call him one.]]''|||Jonah Goldberg, 2002<ref>[http://article.nationalreview.com/267382/tyranny-shmyranny/jonah-goldberg Tyranny Shmyranny], The Corner, June 19 2002</ref>}}

Goldberg is probably best known for his book-length brain fart, ''Liberal Fascism''. Long story short, it is Goldberg's [[PIDOOMA|argument]] that [[nationalism]]-hating, [[Social Darwinism]]-hating [[American]] [[liberalism]] is [[Godwin's Law|derived entirely]] from [[Italian]] and [[German]] fascism, "a very serious, thoughtful, argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care."<ref>[http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=MGY3ODg1ZGEyYjQ0OTYxYzc0Yzc0ZDNhN2Q1MzhjMDE= The Corner], March 21 2007</ref> That is, an argument that amounts to a [[Nazi analogies|Nazi analogy]]. This is however because the argument was previously nonexistent, and with the release of his book barely holds together as a conscious thought. Its inherent contradictions are too manifold for properly refuting and its premises deny falsifiability. Yet, this is more than nothing and the "''detail and care''" are arguably more than null. The truth however is ''a bit'' trickier.

===History===
''Liberal Fascism'' almost didn't come out; it was delayed six times. Originally slated for a 2005 release, it didn't come out until December 2007.

Why the delays? There are any number of factors that can push back a release date. Even something as simple as a name change can cause a delay, and the name of the book changed at least three times.<ref>[http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2008/01/11/goldberg/ "We're all fascists now"], Salon.com, January 11 2008</ref> It is also possible that Goldberg is the laziest man on Earth and didn't even get around to writing it until 2007. The fact that he repeatedly used NRO to beg for assistance from his readers seems to support this.<ref>See [http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=NWUyZjk2YWFhNTUyYzhjNTM3ZGNmNzcxMzU5ZDc4Njg= here] and [http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=ZTVjYmFjNDdjYzcyMDc0MjNkNmE2MDU3Yjg1MjAzM2U= here].</ref>

In December 2007, a [[Daily Kos]] blogger organized a Google bomb directing searches for ''Liberal Fascism'' to a blog post<ref>http://jonswift.blogspot.com/2007/06/jonah-goldbergs-shining.html</ref> in which Goldberg's arguments were depicted as a series of LOLcat images. Predictably, Goldberg was displeased.<ref>[http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/154939/gosh-its-almost-theyre-scared-or-something/jonah-goldberg Gosh, It’s Almost Like They’re Scared Or Something], The Corner, December 29 2007</ref> In January 2008, the link abruptly disappeared from search results, apparently a result of the fascist liberal Google manually editing the search results.<ref>[http://jonswift.blogspot.com/2008/01/google-bombs-jon-swift.html Google Bombs Jon Swift], January 12 2008</ref> Surprisingly, Goldberg seemed genuinely contrite over the whole affair.<ref>[http://www.nationalreview.com/liberal-fascism/203157/catching-google-bomb-shrapnel Catching Google Bomb Shrapnel], The Corner, January 13 2008</ref>

===Content===
The easiest way to debunk the "argument" is to quote the man himself. The following quotes are all from ''Liberal Fascism'':

* "In this sense, both the [[Woodrow Wilson|Wilson]] and the [[FDR]] administrations were descendants - albeit distant ones - of the first fascist movement: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztVMib1T4T4 the French Revolution.]"
* "Nazi attitudes toward [[homosexuality]] [[PRATT|are a source of confusion]]...[[Scott Lively]] and Kevin Abrams write in ''The Pink Swastika'' that 'the National Socialist revolution and the Nazi Party were animated and dominated<ref group=note>Very interesting language you're using there.</ref> by militaristic homosexuals, pederasts, pornographers, and sadomasochists.'"<ref group=note>Yes, he actually cited [http://wthrockmorton.com/2009/05/31/eliminating-homosexuality-modern-uganda-and-nazi-germany/ this thing.]</ref> 
* "It is fine to say that many of Nazism's concerns were held by people who were not Nazis. But the fact that these conventionally leftist views were held by Nazis suggests that Nazism isn't as alien to mainstream progressive thought as some would have us believe." (On [[animal rights]] being a fascist position!)
* "But it [liberalism] is definitely totalitarian - or 'holistic,' if you prefer - in that liberalism today sees no realm of human life that is beyond political significance..."<ref group=note>If you want to know why this is really funny, check out the NRO lists of [http://nrd.nationalreview.com/article/?q=YWQ4MDlhMWRkZDQ5YmViMDM1Yzc0MTE3ZTllY2E3MGM= conservative movies] and [http://article.nationalreview.com/281095/-rockin-the-right/john-j-miller rock songs].</ref>
* "[[Persecution complex|The white male is the Jew of liberal fascism]]."<ref>http://www.nationalreview.com/liberal-fascism/203255/white-man-jew-liberal-fascism-jonah-goldberg</ref>
* ''''“Every ten years or so, the United States needs to pick up some small crappy little country and throw it against the wall, just to show the world we mean business.”''''<ref group=note>Oops! That's not from ''Liberal Fascism''. It's from [http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/205187/baghdad-delenda-est-part-two/jonah-goldberg this column] (entitled "Baghdad delenda est - {{wpl|Carthago_delenda_est | no fascist undertones there}}), in which Goldberg argued that we should have invaded Iraq as a show of strength. He attributes this sentiment to Michael Ledeen, who is yet another person who thinks [http://pajamasmedia.com/michaelledeen/2008/01/14/fascism_liberal_and_otherwise/ Jonah is full of shit]</ref>
* "Liberal fascism differs from classical fascism in many ways. I don't deny this. [[moving the goalposts|Indeed, it is central to my point.]]" (As a result, "central to my point" became a [[meme]] in the world of political blogs. Ex: "Jonah Goldberg is different from [[Charles Manson]] in many ways. Indeed, this is central to my point.")

===Reception===
It almost goes without saying that most experts on history or politics in general (and fascism in particular) have come out against Goldberg's book.<ref group=note>A nice capsule summary can be found [http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/2008/01/liberal-fascism-response.html here]</ref><ref>[http://http://www.theamericanconservative.com/articles/goldbergs-trivial-pursuit Goldberg’s Trivial Pursuit] by Austin W. Bramwell</ref> Additionally, he was humiliated on many talk shows during the promotional phase. [[Jon Stewart]] did [http://www.cc.com/video-clips/rlt7ia/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-jonah-goldberg as good a job as anyone].<ref group=note>"But wait!" you're saying. "Why is this video so strangely edited? Where can I see the uncut version?" Well, there isn't one. Comedy Central never released the entire interview, and no reason has been given. Goldberg has since claimed that they chopped him up to make him look foolish by removing his good arguments. [http://townhall.com/columnists/JonahGoldberg/2008/01/23/what_the_daily_show_cut_out No, seriously].</ref>

Despite the widespread derision, Dan Schneider, the executive director of the American Conservative Union (which runs the Conservative Political Action Conference), has taken up the cause against "liberal fascism" in 2017 by using the term in reference to the [[alt-right]].<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2017/02/23/cpac-organizer-denounces-alt-right-as-left-wing-fascist-group/ Alt-right leader expelled from CPAC, after organizer denounces 'left-wing fascist group'] by David Weigel and John Wagner (February 23 at 11:56 AM) ''The Washington Post''.</ref> (If the alt-right consists of liberal fascists, what must ''conservative fascists'' be like?)

In contrast to the American Conservative Union, Austin Bramwell writing in ''The American Conservative'' accused Goldberg's book of engaging in ''reductio ad Hitlerum'':<ref>[https://www.theamericanconservative.com/goldbergs-trivial-pursuit/ Goldberg’s Trivial Pursuit] by Austin Bramwell (Jan 28, 2008 12:00 AM) ''The American Conservative''.</ref>
{{cquote|That Nazism and contemporary liberalism both promote healthy living is as meaningless a finding as that bloody marys and martinis may both be made with gin. Repeatedly, Goldberg fails to recognize a [[reductio ad absurdum]]. He tells us that Himmler bemoaned the Christian persecution of witches, just like Wiccan feminists do today, that Hitler once described his doctrine as “reality-based,” just like today’s progressives describe theirs, and that Mussolini was quite smart “by the standards of liberal intellectuals today.” In no case does Goldberg uncover anything more ominous than a coincidence.}}

==Other projects==
Goldberg's latest project is ''Proud to Be Right: Voices of the Next Conservative Generation'', a compilation of stories to which Goldberg appended his name. Amusingly, the press for the book itself has been overshadowed by a bizarre incident on CSPAN2's BookTV in which contributor Todd Seavey launched into a tangent on his ex-girlfriend, another contributor who was also present.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BV_5m3nySo Man Gets Revenge on Ex-Girlfriend on C-SPAN 2]. Bonus: The comment section under the video contains some fine examples of YouTube [[misogyny]].</ref>

==See also==
*[[PRATT]]
==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note|2}}
==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Goldberg, Jonah}}
[[Category:Authors]]
[[Category:Chickenhawks]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theorists]]
[[Category:Global warming denialists]]
[[Category:Jews]]
[[Category:Journalists]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Political pundits]]
[[Category:Pseudohistory promoters]]
[[Category:Racists]]
[[Category:Right-wing activists]]
[[Category:United States politicians]]

Categories: Authors, Chickenhawks, Conspiracy theorists, Global warming denialists, Jews, Journalists, Living people, Political pundits, Pseudohistory promoters, Racists, Right-wing activists, United States politicians