Rand Paul

{{silver}}[[File:Rand Paul by Gage Skidmore 10-11-10.jpg|thumb|165px|right|Rand Paul. No, not a function for generating a random number between 0 and Paul.]]{{uspolitics}}
{{cquote|I tell you, the shit doesn't fall far from [[Ron_Paul|the bat]].|||[[Bill Maher]]<ref>[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/22/bill-maher-describes-rand_n_585852.html Bill Maher Describes Rand Paul: It's As If Sarah Palin Made It Through Med School], ''Huffington Post''</ref>}}
'''Randal Howard "Aqua Buddha"<ref>Condon, Stephanie, [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/rand-paul-not-a-kidnapper-in-a-legal-sense-accuser-says/ "Rand Paul Not a Kidnapper 'In a Legal Sense', Accuser Says"], CBS, 8.11.10.</ref> Paul''' {{lived|1963}} is a  junior [[U.S. Senate|Senator]] from [[Fun:Kentucky|Kentucky]], writer for [[Breitbart]], and son of [[Ron Paul]]. By profession, Paul is ''technically'' an ophthalmologist, but, at this point, the guy is really just another career politician, despite professing his support for senatorial term limits, which, if said propositions were instilled, [[Hypocrisy|he would have already exceeded]].<ref name="Perry">[http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/wp/2013/11/08/rand-paul-has-another-problem/ Rand Paul has another problem]</ref>

In 2010, [[Republicans]] nominated this non-Kentuckian for a Senate seat which was being vacated.<ref>Russell Berman, [http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/08/rand-paul-will-pay-for-kentuckys-gop-eflection-by-himself/401711/ "Rand Paul Purchases a Path Around an Inconvenient Kentucky Law"], ''The Atlantic'' 8.19.15. Constitutions are sacred documents until they're not.</ref> Three years later, Rand was the point man for the [[Benghazi]] investigations.<ref>[http://www.politico.com/video/2013/01/rand-paul-to-clinton-i-would-have-fired-you-009396 "Rand Paul to Clinton: I would have fired you"], Politico (01/23/13 02:39 PM EST).</ref> He's a serial liar who needs to feed on fear of brown people in order to maintain his status within the GOP.<ref>Kessler, Glenn, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2014/05/28/rand-pauls-claim-there-was-no-plane-for-special-ops-forces-in-benghazi/ "Rand Paul’s claim there was ‘no plane’ for Special Ops forces in Benghazi"], WaPo 5.28.14.</ref>

In 2016, Paul announced his candidacy for the [[2016 Republican Party presidential nomination|Republican nomination for President]].  The needle was stuck at 5% (more like [[Pseudostatistics|4.5%]])<ref>Doherty, Brian, [http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2016/02/01/rand_paul_the_day_of_the_pollsters_being_that_accurate_are_gone.html "No Rand Paul Surprise in Iowa; Fifth Place, Likely 4.5 Percent"], ''Reason'' (2/1/16 10:47 pm).</ref> for months, trailing four points behind [[Ben Carson]].<ref>[http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2016/02/01/rand_paul_the_day_of_the_pollsters_being_that_accurate_are_gone.html "Rand Paul: 'The Days of Pollsters Being Accurate Are Gone'"] Real Clear Politics 2.1.15.</ref> He eventually fell out of the race, pocketing $752k as he went.<ref>[http://www.fec.gov/fecviewer/CandidateCommitteeDetail.do?candidateCommitteeId=P40003576&tabIndex=1 2016 Rand Paul financial disclosures], Federal Electoral Commission. It's all about the Paul family [[Wingnut welfare|money bombs.]]</ref> His problem was he tried to appeal to way too many groups:  His father knew exactly who he wanted money from, and catered to them, then retired right before all the young people who didn't know how to evaluate a candidate figured out they'd been conned by a racist asshole. 

His official [[Facebook]] page was one of the funniest places on the internet.<ref>[http://i.imgur.com/JsSM7Rb.jpg Montage of photos] taken directly from Rand's page of the impressive rallies he's held (he's really packing them in!)</ref><ref>[http://i.imgur.com/UMK296K.jpg The spam was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be un-made.] #StandWithRand</ref><ref>[http://i.imgur.com/wmVusrC.jpg It's Happening! Rand Paul Money Bomb Page Has 6 Likes!]</ref><ref name="graphic">Looks like the Invisible Hand is [http://imgur.com/Ao9svjo flipping him the Invisible Bird.]</ref><ref name="riff">Rand: [http://i.imgur.com/vKCOj3b.jpg "You won't want to miss what I have to say about Hillary and Bernie!"] Did Rand just forget that DNC debates are only for '''Democratic''' candidates?  And what's with the clickbait-y title? ''"7 unbelievable rebuttals to Hillary and Bernie! #4 will AMAZE you!"''</ref><ref>[http://i.imgur.com/czLYMIn.jpg They're called Paulbots for a reason.]</ref><ref>[http://i.imgur.com/XhH4ite.jpg Hundreds show up for Paul's 10,000 student rally.] ''"You thought the [[Silent Majority]] was impressive? This majority ''doesn't even exist!''"''</ref>

==True political leanings==
{{main|Vulgar libertarianism}}

{{cquote|There are people who say we [Republicans] need to be more moderate. I couldn't disagree more.|||Rand Paul<ref>[http://theweek.com/speedreads/451634/rand-paul-urges-republicans-even-less-moderate "So Long Bipartisanship - Rand Paul urges Republicans to be even less moderate"], ''The Week'' 6.15.14.</ref>}}

While leaning to the centre of the political spectrum, in comparison to much of the modern GOP, Paul is a registered Republican, but a [[paleolibertarian]] (lower case "L") at heart.  Whereas Ron identifies as a "libertarian", Rand has come to distance himself from the label.<ref>Newton-Small, James, [http://content.time.com/time/politics/article/0,8599,1972721,00.html "Is Rand Paul Good or Bad for Republicans?"], ''TIME'' 3.17.10.</ref><ref>Jay Mewton Small, [http://time.com/3262890/ron-paul-rand-paul-jesse-benton/ "The Ghosts of Ron Paul Haunt His Son"], ''TIME.''</ref> He thinks he's clever by dressing up what is essentially GOP constitutitionalism in libertarian garb,<ref>Mallasy, Nicolas, [https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/2016/1/9/rand-paul-asks-voters-have-any-of-you-ever-worked-for-a-poor-person "Rand Paul Asks Voters: ‘Have Any of You Ever Worked for a Poor Person?’"], PJ Media 1.9.06.</ref><ref>Maeby Gaver, [http://www.liberalamerica.org/2013/10/09/the-koch-brothers-ron-and-rand-paul-and-the-john-birch-society/ "The Koch Brothers, Ron and Rand Paul, and the John Birch Society"], Liberal America.</ref> but if all roads lead to Rome it doesn't much matter whether we're traveling by land or by sea.

===An ironic rejection of the non-aggression principle===

To wit, he has consistently been hawkish on the [[War on Terror]]: calls for [[Guantanamo]] detainees to be tried in military tribunals rather than civilian courts,<ref name="guantanamo">McLaughlin, Seth, [http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/apr/17/paul-father-and-son-differ-on-issue-of-closing-gua/?page=all "Paul father and son differ on issue of closing Guantanamo"], ''[[Washington Times]]'' 4/17/13.</ref> a moratorium on travel visas from "[[Islamofascism|terrorist nations]],"<ref>Laing, Keith, [http://thehill.com/policy/transportation/260390-paul-moves-to-block-visas-for-syrian-refugees "Paul moves to block visas for Syrian refugees"], ''The Week'' (11/17/15 09:32 AM EST).</ref> the construction of overseas military bases,<ref>Paul, ''The Tea Party Comes To Washington'', 2001.</ref> and removal of [[Constitution]]al protections for accused foreign terrorists.<ref>Harkinson, Josh, [http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2010/05/how-libertarian-rand-paul "How Libertarian is Rand Paul?"], ''Mother Jones'' (5/21/10, 3:58 PM EDT).</ref> He also compared [[Park51|Muslims in New York City]] to the [[KKK]]. (Real class act.)<ref>McCarthy, Tom, [http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/may/27/rand-paul-jon-stewart-daily-show-ku-klux-klan-ground-zero-mosque "Rand Paul points to Ku Klux Klan in citing aversion to 'Ground Zero mosque'"], ''The Guardian'' (5/27/15 12.02 EDT).</ref>

Jumping on [[Donald Trump|Trump]]'s bandwagon was just a happy accident. He flip-flopped on the Russia issue, starting with the annexation of Crimea, back when Trump hadn't yet considered running for President.<ref name="nato">Corn, David, [http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2014/03/rand-paul-flip-flop-russia-ukraine-georgia "Rand Paul's Big Flip-Flop on Russia"], ''Mother Jones'' (3/14/14 at 6:59 AM).</ref>  A related example would be his call to build missile shields in [[Poland]] and the [[Czech Republic]], then make Europe pay for it.<ref>Brennan, Patrick, [http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/373037/rand-pauls-plan-ukraine-bizarre-and-delusional-patrick-brennan Rand Paul’s Plan for Ukraine: Bizarre and Delusional"], ''[[National Review]]'' (3/10/14 11:45 PM).</ref> 

On [[Fox News]], when asked which bases on foreign soil he would like to see closed, the elder Paul answered succinctly, "all of them."<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20110630234939/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fOUb9YZYUM Ron Paul: Offensive War Is Un-American! Close All U.S. Military Bases around the World!] by RonPaul2008dotcom (Jun 22, 2011) ''YouTube'' (archived from January 30, 2011).</ref> Naturally, that is where the younger Paul differs in his views. Although a committed deficit hawk, his foreign policy seems to go back and forth depending on the time. He did, notably, oppose Trump's bombing of Syria in the Spring of 2017, but since then has tried to play nice with America's reigning monarch. Despite hopping on Trumpatine's bandwagon (or [[Steve Bannon|bannonwagon]]), Paul's libertarianism stands in stark contrast to the authoritarian [[Nationalism|national]] [[Populism|populism]] of the Donald and his neo-mercantilism.

===Drugs, abortion, and "rights" (Oh my!)===

Same goes for his actual views on the [[drug war]]. He's adamant about discouraging the recreational use of pot, even the [[Medical marijuana|medical]] kind, and condemns users as shiftless—just like everyone else in the GOP.<ref>Steven Nelson, [http://www.usnews.com/news/blogs/washington-whispers/2013/07/11/rand-paul-upsets-marijuana-activists-by-saying-the-drug-is-not-healthy "Paul's claim about ambition, health and IQ are wrong."], USNews.</ref><ref>J. Arthur Bloom, [http://www.theamericanconservative.com/2013/05/13/rand-paul-learns-to-love-the-drug-war/ "Rand Paul Learns to Love the Drug War?"], American Conservative.</ref> He favors lower sentences for drug offenders and for "letting the states decide"<ref>[http://www.ontheissues.org/2010_KY_Senate.htm Rand Paul On the Issues - 2010 Kentucky Senate Debates], Associated Press.</ref> (which is just about the worst policy on anything; states continued to criminalize alcohol after [[prohibition]] was lifted), but he would not legalize it in any form. Rand even equated student debt forgiveness with [[Moral equivalence|giving out free heroin]],<ref name="gray">Kalli Joy Gray, [http://wonkette.com/595563/rand-paul-wants-you-to-just-say-no-to-heroin-book-learnin "Rand Paul Wants You To Just Say No To Heroin, Book-Learnin’"], Wonkette.</ref> because...education is addictive, we guess?

He supported a Republican bill that, according to a committee report,<ref>[https://www.congress.gov/113/crpt/hrpt377/CRPT-113hrpt377.pdf Executive Needs to Faithfully Observe and Respect Congressional Enactments of the Law Act of 2014] (March 7, 2014) ''United States House of Representatives''.</ref> could be used to force the federal government to crack down, among many other things, on states where weed has been legalized.<ref>Eric W. Dolan, [http://www.rawstory.com/2014/03/rand-paul-backs-bill-that-could-lead-to-crack-down-on-states-where-voters-legalized-weed/ "Rand Paul backs bill that could lead to crack down on states where voters legalized weed"], Raw Story.</ref> The bill would enable Congress to sue the President{{efn|Because they really needed ''more'' incentive to do that.}} if the President doesn't jam up enough drug users in those states. Unlike fellow right-libertarian and self-proclaimed stoner [[Gary Johnson]], Paul is against the use of recreational marijuana altogether, but, on principle, believes that the federal government has no right to regulate a person's decision to blaze up, seeing as it is relatively harmless in the greater scheme of things. The main difference between Paul and Johnson is in how they believe this should be handled, as they belong to separate libertarian camps.{{efn|It is not a single ideology, as those who would vilify it would have one believe.}} Paul, a paleolibertarian — being a stance that emphasizes on natural rights and traditional constitutionalism - believes that there should be no federal law and that it should be up to each individual state to determine legality. Johnson, who falls more into the "classical" [[Liberal|liberal]] category - a more principled and progressive camp rooted in [[Utilitarianism|utilitarian]] ideals of empiricism, consequentialism, and the notion of it being the central government's role to grant universal liberty - believes that it should be legalized across the board, being an issue that should not be subject to the dictate of the law, even on a more local level. This here is a prime example of how, within libertarianism, people holding such beliefs are often driven to do so for different reasons.

One example of such is in regards to what is commonly known as "the non-aggression principle", an anti-interventionist stance held by most libertarians, classical liberals, anarchists, and pacifist groups (on both the left and right) that has roots in both enlightenment and classic philosophy. Essentially, it vaguely states that force is only justified in meeting equal or greater aggravated force.{{cn}} While libertarians from all over the spectrum generally tend to embrace this notion - and that it can be aptly applied to just about any situation — the question as to what constitutes as "force" is subject to varying interpretations.{{efn|One may argue that mandatory taxation is force while another libertarian may see it as being a necessary sacrifice to be made by those living under social contract.}} In terms of involvement overseas, some libertarians opine that all military action, unless in direct defense of U.S. soil, is unlawful force, including the lending of foreign aid. Others, while still highly critical of [[Neoconservatism|neocons]] and hyperglobalists from all across the spectrum, have a more pragmatic view, admitting that the presence of American global [[Hegemony|hegemony]] has reached such a point where its existence has become, for better or worse, a necessary factor in both managing the global economy and preventing conflict, so long as any required degree of intervention did not condone further empire-building.{{efn|A view held by classical liberal philosopher and statesman [[John Stuart Mill]] in regards to his opinion on the role of the [[British Empire]].}}

Paleolibertarians (and many other [[Austrian School|Austrian Schoolers]]) tend to favor the whole "natural rights" stance on the non-aggression pact, whereas many other libertarian and libertarian-ish types have come to realize, in spite of their greedily self-interested motives and trademarked fetish for individualism, that, in the end, it's actually kind of stupid to act like an entitled child and declare that ''all'' rights are natural, and to claim that such makes anything that subjectively contrasts with one's (again, subjectively) arbitrary definition as it relates to the nature of those rights is a violation of nature itself. Sure, most human-folk seem to be in communion with the belief that things like murder, rape, and other forms of violence are ethically wrong, and that everybody deserves to live their life, but the idea that the free-market is divinely inspired, that property rights have always existed within the state of nature, and that mankind is [[Objectivism|morally entitled to be a dick]] seems a bit too good to be true...

This is what Rand Paul believes, as preached to him by the Holy Trinity of Paleolibertarianism: [[Ron Paul|the Father]], the [[Ayn Rand|Son's namesake(?)]], and the [[Murray Rothbard|Holy Rothbard]], with those holy views coming from the one true Holy Text: the poorly-received self-help book known as ''Atlas Shrugged'', which, like the [[Bible]], is a fun read, has some interesting characters, a few solid philosophical points, and has a tendency to be super jaded and long-winded.{{efn|Although, in contrast, it impressively manages to make the Bible look a peer-reviewed encyclopedia of history by comparison.}} Rand Paul believes in very Randy things, so, as further legitimized by the fact that he too has the name Rand, this means that he is the ultimate Randroid. He surpasses even [[Paul Ryan]]{{efn|He has almost all of the same letters in his own name as both the late goddess and Rand Paul have in their own.}} who does not really even come across as the slightest bit libertarian. Despite their common-love for Lady Ayn, Paul Ryan is against many of Rand Paul's more liberal platforms, occasionally making the latter an unlikely ally to Senate Democrats.

On the issue of abortion, Rand Paul pretty much thinks that, unless the mother is at risk of death, abortion should be illegal. This is a commonly-held view for many "natural rights" libertarians. While consequentialists, regardless of their moral beliefs, generally hold the consistent view that government intervention in reproductive rights violates the nonaggression axiom, natural rights fans see that the abortion of a fetus is what actually violates the principle, as it technically intervenes in the natural process of baby-making. To be fair, this is a reasonable and justifiable interpretation of the principle.{{efn|Although, those who believe this on the right probably, more often than not, use this as an excuse to mask the same arbitrary religious nuttery that prompts most Republicans to hold this view.}} Interestingly enough, other natural rights folks like Ayn Rand and Murray Rothbard, the former of which was a vocal supporter of women's rights, happened to be pro-choice, believing that the already-living mother's right to life far outweighs that of a fetus. It appears that most Randroids like Senator Paul seem to ignore this, clearly the result of classic Republican cherry-picking. Just like the rest of his brethren, the guy raves about "the sinful nature of abortion" and how "life begins at conception", but seems to care little about what happens to the baby after the fact, thereby demonstrating that, as is the case with most Republicans, he is not truly "pro-life", but instead "pro-birth".

So much for natural rights.

===Free market===
Mere months after running on a platform<ref name="freedomworks">Albreight, Logan, [http://www.freedomworks.org/content/rand-pauls-audacious-antitrust-proposal "Rand Paul's Audacious Antitrust Proposal"], freedomWorks 3.29.16.</ref><ref>Albreight, Logan, [http://thehill.com/blogs/pundits-blog/finance/278016-rand-paul-wants-to-legalize-cooperation "Rand Paul Wants to Legalize Cooperation"], ''The Hill'' (4/28/16 at 11:30am).</ref> of...

{{quotebox|Stop letting the Government pick winners and losers - Let the free market decide!}} 

...he bragged about bringing home a quarter billion via earmarks for an Ohio River project which will "Help keep Kentucky coal competitive against [[Renewable energy|alternatives]] like wind and solar" (his words). Basically a big 
entitlement
 handout to KY coal—because that's who funds him—so they can remain [[Plutonomy|federally-ordained winners]] against Big Solar and cut employee pensions at the same time.<ref>Desrochers, Daniel, [http://www.kentucky.com/news/politics-government/article100666412.html "Rand Paul takes issue with funding for miner pension plan"], ''Lexington Herald Reader'' (9/8/16 at 3:46 PM).</ref>

===Evangelical Bingo===

{{cquote|...Rand Paul told a crowd in Iowa that "Nobody here" was trying to ban birth control. Either Rand Paul has a terrible memory, or he has such low self esteem that he considers himself "nobody," because just last year, Rand Paul cosponsored a bill that would have banned certain forms of birth control.|||Erin Gloria Ryan<ref>Ryan, [http://jezebel.com/nobody-is-trying-to-ban-birth-control-says-guy-who-tri-1617035157 "'Nobody' Is Trying to Ban Birth Control, Says Guy Who Tried to Ban It"], Jezebel (8/06/14 2:30pm).</ref>}}

In 2013, Rand endorsed the Tea Party gubernatorial candidate in [[Fun:Virginia|Virginia]].  In his stump speech, Rand said something about [[eugenics]], citing the Wikipedia summary of the film ''Gattaca'' as his source.<ref>Alana Horowitz Satlin, [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/28/rand-paul-plagiarism-wikipedia-gattaca-rachel-maddow_n_4172207.html "Rand Paul Plagiarized Speech From Wikipedia, Rachel Maddow Says"], ''[[Huffington Post]]''.</ref><ref name="haterz">Margaret Hartmann, [http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/10/paul-confused-about-wikipedia-plagarism-charge.html "Rand Paul’s Wikipedia Plagiarism Defense"], ''NY Mag''.</ref> What this had to do with Ken Cuccinelli or his sodomy law is anyone's guess; it was obviously prepared at the last minute.

On the issue of [[same-sex marriage]], Rand again takes a states' rights approach.<ref>[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/24/rand-paul-gay-marriage_n_2944056.html Rand Paul All Right With 'Neutral' Federal Gay Marriage Law], ''Huffington Post''</ref> He approved of the SCOTUS decision striking down Section 3 of the [[Defense of Marriage Act]],<ref>[http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2013/06/rand-paul-on-gay-mmarriage-gop-needs-to-agree-to-disagree/ Rand Paul on Gay Marriage: GOP Needs to 'Agree to Disagree'], ABC</ref> but appeared on [[Glenn Beck]] after the ruling to express concern that [[Slippery slope|it will result]] in [[bestiality]].<ref>[http://maddowblog.msnbc.com/_news/2013/06/26/19156364-post-doma-rand-paul-fears-humans-marrying-non-humans?lite Post-DOMA, Rand Paul Fears Humans Marrying Non-Humans], MSNBC.</ref>

In 2015, he blamed [[Family values|"the lack of fathers and the lack of morals"]] for the {{wpl|2015_Baltimore_riots|unrest}} in Baltimore, as his son was being arrested for drunk driving. For the third time.<ref>[http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/rand-paul-blames-lack-fathers-baltimore-unrest-his-own-son-was-just-arrested-drunk Rand Paul Blames 'Lack of Fathers' for Baltimore Unrest—But His Own Son Was Just Arrested for Drunk Driving], Alternet.  No election would be complete without a Bristol Palin.</ref><ref>[http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2015/04/22/rand-pauls-son-dui/26213657/ Rand Paul's son cited for DUI after car crash], USA Today. ''But see drunk driving is not a violation of the NAP, Your Honor.''</ref>

In 2016, he introduced a bill that would grant Constitutional rights to fetuses.<ref name="fourteen">Miles, Carla, [http://www.examiner.com/article/rand-paul-bill-to-give-unborn-children-constitutional-protection "Rand Paul Bill to Give Unborn Children Constitutional Protection"], Examiner (1/2216 12:59 PM MST).</ref> Oh, so [[Anchor baby|now]] he's in favor of the 14th Amendment?<ref name="amnesty">Epps, Garrett, [http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/09/rand-paul-14th-amendment/407158/ "How Rand Paul Misunderstands the Fourteenth Amendment"], ''The Atlantic'' 9.24.14.</ref>

Also, he thinks [[The United States as a Christian nation|the United States is a "Christian nation"]], and that Christianity is or should be the basis of the country's laws.<ref name="jttw">[http://www.religiondispatches.org/dispatches/sarahposner/2654/rand_paul%3A_we_wouldn't_need_laws_if_everyone_were_christian/ Rand Paul: We Wouldn't Need Laws If Everyone Were Christian], ''Religion Dispatches''.</ref> That said, before [[Donald Trump|January of 2017]], it would have been hard to visualize how Paul would be different from any other Republican president.

===Half-breed, that's all I ever heard===

{{cquote|I think it’s a little like a compass. It used to be whatever would please 15-year-old [[Ayn Rand]] readers was his position.|||[[Ann Coulter]],<ref>Smith, Sarah, [http://www.politico.com/story/2014/08/ann-coulter-rand-paul-flip-flop-109763 "Coulter to Paul: 'Just pick a position'"], Politico, 8.16.14.</ref> [[CNN]].}}

{{cquote|I think he was doing as much following as he was leading. He wanted to win more than he wanted to support the principles.|||Frayda Levin, libertarian GOP donor<ref name="fail">Shane Goldmacher, Alex Isenstadt and Daniel Strauss, [http://www.politico.com/story/2016/02/rand-paul-campaign-collapse-218716 "Inside Rand Paul's Slow-Motion Collapse"], Politico (02/03/16 07:46 PM EST).</ref>}}

Despite all this, [[Dick Cheney|Cheney]] and other neocons don't trust him, regarding him as "[[RINO|not one of us]]," which is enough to have libertarian blogs foaming about his candidacy.<ref>[http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/53507.html Lew Rockwell alert]</ref>

Real libertarians are less gung-ho, citing his support for [[voter ID]]s and dumping more guns in the mideast. They forgave the Senator for his shape-shifting before, but were apoplectic when he signed the GOP’s Iran letter (to "[[Concern troll|help Obama]]", he said),<ref name="stop helping me">Igor Bobic, [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/15/rand-paul-iran-obama_n_6874582.html "Rand Paul Claims He Signed Iran Letter In Order To Help Obama"] ''Huffington Post'' 3.15.15. How exactly is "I can't even get congress to cooperate and stop acting like children" dealing from a position of strength?</ref> with some calling it "the last straw."<ref>Olivia Nuzzi, [http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/03/20/why-libertarians-hate-rand-paul.html "Why Real Libertarians Hate Rand Paul"], The Daily Beast.</ref><ref>[[David Frum]]: [http://www.mediaite.com/online/david-frum-thinks-the-iran-deal-ends-rand-pauls-candidacy/ Iran deal ends Rand Paul's candidacy.]</ref>

Rand has expressed the wish that the Tea Party was a real party so that he could leave the GOP and join them.<ref name="choochoo">Theodore Schleifer, [http://www.cnn.com/2015/05/26/politics/rand-paul-book-gop-brand-election-2016/index.html Rand Paul: Maan, Republican brand 'sucks' and is, like, 'broken' dude], CNN.</ref> Uh huh.<ref>Farrell, Keith, [http://thelibertarianrepublic.com/republican-liberty-caucus-leader-switches-support-from-paul-to-cruz/ "Republican Liberty Caucus Leader Switches Support From Paul to Cruz"], The Libertarian Republic 1.4.16. '''Rand to Tea Party''': ''Remember your place, peons!'' '''Tea Party''': ''Get stuffed.''</ref> It's clear that his "Tea Party tidal wave" was just lip service, anyway; he backed [[Mitch McConnell]] against the [[Freedom Caucus]], and lacks the ''cojones'' to knock over any anthills like [[Ted Cruz|Cruz]] does.<ref>Peter Grier, [http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Politics/Decoder/2014/0218/Rand-Paul-vs.-Ted-Cruz-Who-s-winning-tea-party-voters-video "Rand Paul vs. Ted Cruz: Who's winning tea party voters?"], ''Christan Science Monitor''</ref>

Amid the growing coronavirus pandemic, Rand proposed an amendment to a stimulus bill blocking people without a Social Security number from receiving the benefits of said bill.<ref>[https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/senate-coronavirus-bill-vote-delayed-after-rand-paul-pushes-doomed-n1162356 Senate coronavirus vote delayed after Rand Paul pushes doomed amendment: Sen. Chuck Schumer called the Paul amendment "ridiculous" and "a colossal waste of time"] by Julie Tsirkin & Dareh Gregorian (March 17, 2020, 5:24 PM PDT / Updated March 18, 2020, 9:03 AM PDT) ''NBC News''.</ref> [[Irony|Rand subsequently got COVID-19]].<ref>[https://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/local/2020/03/22/kentucky-sen-rand-paul-tests-positive-covid-19/2894959001/ Kentucky's Rand Paul the first known U.S. senator to test positive for coronavirus] by Phillip M. Bailey & Sarah Ladd Published 1:43 p.m. ET March 22, 2020; Updated 8:08 a.m. ET March 23, 2020) ''Louisville Courier Journal''.</ref> Rand has subsequently falsely claimed that [[face masks]] are ineffective in preventing the spread of COVID.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/12/02/rand-pauls-false-claim-that-masks-dont-work/ Rand Paul’s false claim that masks don’t work] by Salvador Rizzo (December 2, 2021) ''The Washington Post''.</ref>

==Genuine libertarianism==
{{Main|Stopped clock}}

He has opposed the [[PATRIOT Act]] and actually filibustered its renewal.<ref>Dustin Volz and Kaveh Waddell, [http://www.nationaljournal.com/s/26794/after-over-10-hours-rand-paul-ends-his-nsa-filibuster "After Over 10 Hours, Rand Paul Ends His NSA ‘Filibuster’"], National Journal 5.20.15.</ref><ref>Harris, Shane, [http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/06/02/it-s-nsa-1-rand-paul-0-as-the-senate-passes-patriot-act-reform.html "It’s NSA 1, Rand Paul 0 as the Senate Passes Patriot Act Reform"], Daily Beast (06.02.15 3:30 PM ET).</ref> He was also one of seven Republicans who voted against the [[NDAA]].<ref>Sledge, Matt, [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/21/ndaa-indefinite-detention-bill-rand-paul_n_2347774.html "NDAA Indefinite Detention Bill Passes Senate After Rand Paul Calls It An 'Abomination'"], HuffPo (12/21/2012 03:13 pm ET, updated 12/21/12).</ref> He also filibustered Obama's appointment of [[John Brennan]] as the CIA director.<ref>Parker, Ashley, [http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/06/rand-paul-filibusters-brennan-nomination/?_r=1 "Rand Paul Leads Filibuster of Brennan Nomination"], NYT (3/613 2:03 pm).</ref>

After the [[Edward Snowden]] leaks, Rand Paul filed a class-action lawsuit against [[Barack Obama]], claiming that the NSA's metadata gathering program is unconstitutional, and all its archives should be deleted.<ref>[http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2014/02/us-senator-sues-president-obama-to-stop-nsa-metadata-dragnet/ US senator sues President Obama to stop NSA metadata dragnet]</ref>
The suit has currently (January 2015) been stayed pending the result of a similar lawsuit.<ref>[http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2015/01/if-the-supreme-court-tackles-the-nsa-in-2015-itll-be-one-of-these-five-cases/2/ If the Supreme Court tackles the NSA in 2015, it’ll be one of these five cases]</ref> The story was buried after it came out that Paul plagiarized sections of the subpoena.<ref>Adam Edelman, [http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/kentucky-sen-rand-paul-faces-new-plagiarism-allegations-nsa-suit-president-obama-article-1.1613823 "Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul faces new plagiarism allegations over NSA suit against President Obama"], ''The Daily News''.</ref>

===Conservative crankery===

*He has espoused multiple crank [[conspiracy theories]] related to the [[North American Union]], such as the [[NAFTA Superhighway]] and the [[Amero]].<ref>[http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/05/rand_paul_beware_the_nafta_superhighway_video.php Rand Paul in '08: Beware the NAFTA Superhighway], TPM</ref> 

*Naturally, he ascribes tuition costs to a "monopoly" and overpaid teachers.  He encourages everybody to teach online and [[Neoliberalism|lowball]] each others' fees. Then just deduct the principal and interest from graduates' paychecks for their "entire working career(s)", which will...change absolutely nothing.<ref name="gray" /> [[Crank]] away, Rand!

*Rand (medical doctor, mind you) weighed in on the danger of [[Anti-vaccination movement|vaccines]] in 2015.<ref>Lerner, Adam B.. [http://www.politico.com/story/2015/02/rand-paul-vaccines-114845.html?hp=l2_3 "Rand Paul Doubles Down on Vaccine Stance"], Politico (2/02/15 05:52 PM EST).</ref> 

*At one point in the Republican debates, he blamed the race riots in Ferguson, [[Missouri]] on exorbitant city fines.<ref> Emory, Jr., C. Eugene, [http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2016/jan/28/rand-paul/budgets-ferguson-mo-dont-support-rand-pauls-claim-/ "Budgets from Ferguson, Mo., don't support Rand Paul's claim on the city's reliance on civil fines"], Politifact (1/28/16 at 11:43 p.m.).</ref>  Ditto the death of Eric Garner, killed in 2014 for selling cigarettes without a license: Rand blamed NYC's high cigarette taxes for such a senseless loss of life.<ref>Fischer, Sam, [http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/03/politics/rand-paul-eric-garner-taxes/index.html "Rand Paul blames Eric Garner's death on high NYC cigarette tax"], [[CNN]], updated 12.4.14. Stop fires by [[Silver bullet|outlawing fire trucks]], since they show up at every fire!</ref> His home state of Kentucky is the #2 supplier of tobacco in the US, which is surely strictly coincidental.

*Paul was able to attach "anti-poverty" legislation to H.R. 2028.<ref>Potter, Mary, [http://www.westkyjournal.com/news.php?viewStory=5806 "Sen. Paul pushes Economic Freedom Zones "], ''West Kentucky Journal'' (4//20/16 at 3:52 pm).</ref>  The gist is, if someone owns a corporation and wants to pay 5% income tax, all they have to do is claim that they're headquartered in an "[[Newspeak|economic freedom zone]]" (the same kind found in China and Vietnam).  Now, you don't have to worry about [[Tax haven|laundering the money]] and moving it back to the US, because it's already there. The bill would also ease restrictions on skilled immigrants who want to move to these economically-depressed areas.  Not only does this plan incentivize high unemployment for companies, it also incentivizes hiring non-US workers to fill those positions.<br><br>Anyway, looks like it failed miserably. (When the [[Club for Growth]] hates your ideas, you've gone full wingnut.)<ref>Boyd, Kevin, [http://rare.us/story/congress-is-about-to-vote-on-what-rand-paul-calls-the-biggest-anti-poverty-initiative-in-50-years/ "Congress is about to vote on what Rand Paul calls 'the biggest anti-poverty initiative” in 50 years'"], ''Rare'' (4/19/16 6:35 pm).</ref>

*Now that the nomination process is over, Cruz, Sanders, and Paul are back at their Senate jobs. WIGO with Rand Paul? Working hard on legalizing monopolies, of course.  It's an interesting slight of hand:  You take hippie phrases like "cooperation" and "voluntarism", and then equivocate them with copyright, trusts, and monopolies. Thanks, [[FreedomWorks|freedom]]!<ref name="freedomworks" />

===Relationship with the militia movement===

It seems he shares his father's [[Neo-Confederate]] sympathies: One of his former aides is Jack "Southern Avenger" Hunter, an ex-shock jock who preaches [[racial pride]] and has lauded the murder of [[Abraham Lincoln]].<ref>[http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2013/08/rand-paul-questions-about-neo-confederate-ex-aide-a-bunch-of-crap/ Rand Paul: Questions About Neo-Confederate Ex-Aide a ‘Bunch of Crap’], ABC</ref> Rand also endorsed a Senate candidate from [[North Carolina]] who has ties to the [[League of the South]].<ref>[http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/12/rand-paul-endorse-greg-brannon-secessionist-rally Rand Paul-Backed GOP Senate Candidate Held Rally With Secessionist Group], ''Mother Jones''</ref> Then there's Chris "Happy Nigger Day!" Hightower<ref>Blake, Aaron, [http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/72823-the-ugly-paper-trail-of-rand-pauls-spokesman "Rand Paul spokesman resigns as controversy swirls over writings"], The Hill (12/17/09 08:25 pm).</ref> and all those other KKK guys he hired or hangs around with... Coincidentally, both Pauls have claimed to have great relationships with "[[Don Black|The Blacks.]]"

Paul expresses support for states' rights with regard to all land issues, including the Endangered Species Act and control of federally-owned land. (One wonders what, if any, power should ''not'' be devolved to the states in Paul's mind; perhaps that's related to the neoconfederate leanings mentioned above.) To that end, Rand met with the sons of [[Cliven Bundy]] and promised that, if elected, he would make [[Nevada]] a [[Secession|sovereign state]]. The meeting transpired one year after Bundy himself tried to [[Sovereign citizen|secede]] from the U.S. Less than six months later, the Bundys migrated to [[Oregon]] and seized another 100 acres there, including a federal building.  Somehow, Rand did not sprint to a video camera to voice his support for the Bundy militia. He seems content to forget about his past dealings with the Bundys,<ref>Blevins, Rachel, [http://truthinmedia.com/breaking-rand-paul-campaign-office-robbed-computers-stolen/ "Rand Paul Presidential Campaign Office Burglarized, Computers Stolen"], Truth in Media 1.27.16. (Coincidence?)</ref> and the press doesn't seem too interested in re-hashing it.<ref>Gettys, Travis, [http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/cliven-bundy-says-rand-paul-promised-to-make-nevada-a-sovereign-state-if-hes-elected-president/ "Cliven Bundy says Rand Paul promised to make Nevada a ‘sovereign state’ if he’s elected president"], Raw Story (03 Jul 2015 at 09:42 ET). This guy would be scary if he actually had even the slightest chance of being elected President.</ref><ref>Alderman, Julie, [http://mediamatters.org/research/2016/01/03/chuck-todd-doesnt-ask-rand-paul-about-militia-t/207706 "Chuck Todd Doesn't Ask Rand Paul About Militia Takeover"], Media Matters (1/3/16 4:07 PM EST).</ref>

==Recycling==

[[File:Rand_Paul_%285583991017%29.jpg|right|thumb|300px|All aboard the Randwagon!]]

Following the ''Gattaca'' incident, the press had a field day digging through his books for pillaged material. It turns out that two of his books are full of fake "quotes" by the Founding Fathers.<ref>Andrew Kacynski and Megan Apper, [https://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/rand-pauls-first-two-books-are-full-of-fake-founding-fathers?utm_term=.ivzjv1PZgj#.qmQD5k6AZD "Rand Paul’s First Two Books Are Full Of Fake Founding Fathers Quotes"], Buzzfeed (6/18/15 at 3:23 p.m.).</ref> It got worse.  A 3-page chunk of Rand’s book ''Government Bullies'' turned out to be lifted in whole from a [[Heritage Foundation]] report.<ref>Andrew Kaczynski, [http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/entire-section-of-rand-pauls-book-copied-verbatim-from-case#.je2dGx3Lq "Three Pages Of Rand Paul’s Book Were Plagiarized From Think Tanks"], ''Buzzfeed''.</ref> As for Rand's vaunted opinions on drug sentencing? He published an Op-Ed piece that copied large blocks of text from an article that had been published just one week before — and for good measure, he included those same passages in testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee.<ref>Andrew Kaczynski, [http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/sections-of-rand-pauls-op-ed-on-drug-sentencing-plagiarized "Sections Of Rand Paul’s Op-Ed On Drug Sentencing Plagiarized From Article Week Earlier"], ''Buzzfeed''.</ref> His website seems to be getting scrubbed; the transcripts of some speeches have been pulled, presumably to make googling them harder,<ref>Andrew Kaczynski, [http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/rand-paul-speech-transcripts-disappearing-from-his-website#.xjbJEXPgA "Rand Paul Speech Transcripts Disappearing From His Website"], ''Buzzfeed''.</ref> and at least one other speech has had footnotes added to it.<ref>Andrew Kaczynski, [http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/speech-on-rand-pauls-website-updated-to-include-footnotes "Speech On Rand Paul’s Website Quietly Updated To Include Footnotes"], ''Buzzfeed''.</ref>

Rand has denied everything<ref>Weigel, David, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2015/10/27/rand-paul-says-its-idiocy-to-challenge-his-quotes-from-founding-fathers/ "Rand Paul says ‘it’s idiocy’ to challenge his quotes from founding fathers"], WaPo 10.27.15.</ref> and accused his critics, not making this up, of being "haters".<ref name="haterz" /> Keep it classy, Rand.

==AM I BEING DETAINED?!==

{{cquote|''[[Bernie Sanders|@BernieSanders]] just bragged about getting a D- grade. And he wants to fix education.''|||Tough talk from a guy who never graduated.<ref name="tweets">Tani, Maxwell, [http://www.businessinsider.com/rand-paul-live-tweets-democratic-debate-2016-1 "Rand Paul skewers Democrats during aggressive debate live tweetstorm"], Business Insider (1/18/16). Note: Bernie was boasting about his low approval from the [[NRA]]. There's plenty for libertarians to rip into Sanders about [[Quote mine|without making stuff up.]]</ref>}}

One month after his nomination, Dr. Paul began ducking questions about his board [[Credentials|certification]].  Or, more precisely, his lack thereof.  In '99, he helped create the now-defunct<ref name="Perry"/> National Board of Ophthalmology — which is not recognized by the American Board of Medical Specialties — so that he and his buddies can get re-certified without all the 
rigor
 bureaucratic red tape of that nasty, stodgy old American Board of Ophthalmology.<ref>[http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20100614/NEWS0106/6140307/Rand-Paul-s-ophthalmology-certification-not-recognized-by-national-clearinghouse Rand Paul's ophthalmology certification not recognized by national clearinghouse], ''Louisville Courier-Journal''.</ref> 

Paul is also a member of the [[Association of American Physicians and Surgeons]] (AAPS), a fringe group of conservative [[quack]]s that [[HIV denial|denies the link between HIV and AIDS]] and claims that [[Barack Obama]] won the presidency through some form of [[mind control]].<ref>[http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20100924/NEWS0106/309240084/1008/NEWS01/Rand+Paul+part+of+AAPS+doctors++group+airing+unusual+views Rand Paul part of AAPS doctors' group airing unusual views], ''Louisville Courier-Journal''</ref> They're also the generous providers of [[Andrew Schlafly]]'s [[wingnut welfare]]. 

See, when your daddy buys your way into med school 
after having dropped out of college, and then buys you your degree
 (Rand Paul didn't graduate from Baylor because he was too ''smart.'' Duke even let him into their graduate program without a bachelor's degree. Which is normal and has absolutely nothing to do with [[Nepotism|family connections]])<ref>Kessler, Glenn, [http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/rand-pauls-biology-degree/ "Rand Paul’s claim — twice in one day — that he has a biology degree"], WaPo 2.13.15.</ref> as well as pays for you to pass the first medical board licensing exam, you might wind up thinking that you ''earned'' those letters after your name, and the right to call yourself "Dr."  Of course, since he can't have Dad pay to pass his re-licensing exam, as it might raise too many questions, he had to [[Diploma mill|invent his own "licensing" board]] so he wouldn't fail the test he didn't take the first time around.<ref>Sepkowitz, Kent, [http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2010/06/15/rand-paul-opthamology-certification-scandal-why-it-matters.html "The Biggest Rand Paul Outrage Yet"], Daily Beast (6/15/10 7:07 AM ET). Everybody self-certifies, right? After all, who knows you're qualified better than yourself?</ref> ''Totally'' understandable. <!--  Now this double entendre tongue in cheek stuff IS really quite hilarious! -->

==2016 Presidential campaign==

===His mouth runneth over===

{{rquote|right|To recap: the Five Minute Rule states that any member of the Paul family will make sense on any political issue for exactly five minutes. Precisely at the 5:00:01 mark, however, he will say something so far off the rails that you will find yourself looking at him as though he has sprouted a reptilian head out of his sternum.|Charles P. Pierce<ref>Pierce, [http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a21328/the-five-minute-rule-and-its-many-uses/ "The Five Minute Rule Is Hard But It Is Fair"], ''Esquire''.</ref>}}

It seems that diarrhea of the mouth runs in the Paul family.{{efn|Remember that in 1992, after the riots in Los Angeles following the Rodney King verdict, Papa Paul wrote in one of his newsletters that the rioting only stopped when the rioters left to pick up their welfare checks.<ref>[http://articles.latimes.com/2011/dec/21/opinion/la-ed-riots-20111221 Ron Paul's racist link: The candidate should explain how offensive comments about the L.A. riots were printed in his newsletter.] (December 21, 2011) December 24, 2011) ''Los Angeles Times''.</ref>}}<ref>[http://archive.today/gfxel Does Racism Run in the Paul Family?], AOL.</ref> Consider some of the comments that he made within a few days of his Senate nomination:

*On May 11<sup>th</sup>, 2011, Rand Paul stated that a right to [[health care]] equals [[slavery]] for health care workers, since you now "have a right to come to my house and [[conscript]] me" and "have a right to beat down my door with the police, escort me away and force me to take care of you."<ref>[http://thinkprogress.org/2011/05/11/rand-paul-health-care-slavery/ Rand Paul: If You Believe In A Right To Health Care, ‘You Believe In Slavery’], ThinkProgress.</ref> He has a point, enslaved doctors are a really big problem in Canada.
*The weekend before he was nominated, Rand said he wouldn't mind seeing a repeal of the Americans With [[Disability|Disabilities]] Act (ADA), one of America's few bragging rights, because it is [[Gilded_Age#Libertarian_crankery|unfair to businesses]].<ref>[http://thinkprogress.org/2010/05/17/rand-paul-ada/ Rand Paul Wants To Abolish The Americans With Disabilities Act, Citing Fairness ‘To The Business Owner’], ThinkProgress</ref>
*After winning the nomination, Rand told interviewers [[Rachel Maddow]] of [[MSNBC]] and Robert Siegel of [[NPR]] that the [[Civil Rights Act]] of 1964 should never have been passed. He later backtracked, telling people that he was [[Not racist, but|not a racist]]. Again, it's nothing personal; he just thinks that the Act was harmful to businesses.<ref>[http://crooksandliars.com/cltv/2010/05/rand-paul-tries-explain-his-position Interview on Rachel Maddow Show], broadcast on May 19, 2010.</ref> 
**He's since been trying to frame himself as one of the only [[Friend argument|minority-friendly]] politicians in the GOP,<ref>[http://www.nationaljournal.com/political-connections/rand-paul-s-audacious-outreach-20140801 Rand Paul's Audacious Outreach], ''National Journal''</ref> leading to giggles all round. But Rand, if those comments don't reflect who you really are, why did you hold your victory party at an [[Segregation|"exclusive"]] country club?
*A few days later, Rand chastised President Obama, ''not'' BP, for the corporation's handling of the [[oil]] and [[natural gas|gas]] volcano that they created in the Gulf of Mexico. According to him, Obama's criticism of BP is "anti-business" and "un-American", whatever that means.<ref>[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/21/rand-paul-obama-sounds-un_n_584661.html Rand Paul: Obama Sounds 'Un-American' For Criticizing BP Over Gulf Oil Spill], ''Huntington Post''</ref>
*He told an interviewer that there would be no need for laws if everybody was a Christian. Specifically, "I see that Christianity and values is the basis of our society… 98% of us won’t murder people, won’t steal, won’t break the law and it helps a society to have that religious underpinning."<ref name="jttw" /> We tried that. It was called European history between approximately 1000-1700 AD.
*More on the BP oil volcano, Rand thought that people should stop playing the blame game because, well, shit happens.<ref>[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/harry-shearer/the-rand-paul-quote-every_b_584749.html The Rand Paul Quote Everybody's Ignoring], ''Huffington Post''.</ref>

And all that, folks, happened in just ''one week'' — which is a shame because that same week he canceled what would have been a lulzy interview on NBC's ''Meet the Press''. According to reporter Domenico Montanaro, Rand was only the third "major guest" in the show's 63 year history to cancel.<ref>[http://firstread.nbcnews.com/_news/2010/05/21/4428740-rand-paul-cancels-meet-the-press?lite Rand Paul cancels Meet the Press], NBC</ref> 

===It's Not Happening===

{{cquote|His father had a certain spark, right? There's a little spark in there. Rand doesn't have that spark. Rand doesn't have that spark.|||[[Donald Trump]]<ref>Al Weaver, [http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/trump-goes-after-rand-paul-is-he-going-to-be-primaried/article/2578551 "Trump goes after Rand Paul: 'Is he going to be primaried?'"], Washington Examiner.</ref> (Yes, that overtly racist spark)}}

The announcement of his candidacy was celebrated with a symbolic event: [[YouTube]] took it offline due to copyright violations.<ref>Bump, Phillip, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2015/04/07/youtubes-copyright-system-has-taken-rand-pauls-presidential-announcement-offline/ "YouTube’s copyright system has taken Rand Paul’s presidential announcement offline"], WaPo 4.7.15.</ref> The free market works.

He had the same [[Flat tax|tax policy]] as Carson,<ref>Chris Isadore, [http://money.cnn.com/2015/06/18/news/economy/rand-paul-flat-tax/index.html "Rand Paul's flat tax proposal: What it means for you"], CNN. Nothing says "rebel" like 8 more years of trickle-down economics and neo-confederate social policy...</ref><ref>Andrew Lundeen, Michael Schuyler, [http://taxfoundation.org/blog/economic-effects-rand-paul-s-tax-reform-plan "The Economic Effects of Rand Paul’s Tax Reform Plan"] Tax Foundation 6.18.15.  ...And Tax Foundation already concluded it will add trillions to the debt every year because it can't raise enough revenue. Next.</ref> and his views on immigration, [[gun]]s,<ref>Miranda Blue, [http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/rand-paul-put-stickers-school-windows-warning-you-will-be-shot "Rand Paul: Put Stickers On School Windows Warning 'You Will Be Shot'"], [[Right Wing Watch]].</ref> "[[Privatization|school choice]]", [[labor union|unions]], minimum wage, the [[EPA]],<ref>Tanya Somander, [http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2011/09/09/314936/rand-paul-the-epa-turns-everyday-life-into-a-federal-crime/ "Rand Paul: The EPA ‘Turns Everyday Life Into A Federal Crime’"], ThinkProgress.</ref> abortion, the [[Affordable Care Act]], marriage (of [[Kim Davis]], Paul said she was standing up for "the American way"),<ref>David Weigel, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2015/09/01/rand-paul-says-ky-clerks-gay-marriage-protest-is-part-of-the-american-way/ "Rand Paul says KY clerk’s gay marriage protest is ‘part of the American way’"],''Washington Post''.</ref> [[climate change]], [[evolution]], etc. were all the GOP standard. Not exactly a ringing endorsement. Also, he was not a pacifist or anti-war candidate; he just thinks ''Congress'' should be the ones to declare war, or should only use drones, or Constitution...?

Tell us again about how Paul's the most consistent candidate and always sticks to his ideals:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!Issue
!Flip
!Flop
|-
|'''[[Military Commissions Act|Enemy combatants]]'''
|"I believe we try the terrorists captured on the battlefield in military tribunals at [[Guantanamo Bay|GITMO]].”<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20101001040553/https:/www.randpaul2010.com/issues/h-p/national-defense/ Rand Paul official campaign website - on the issues].</ref>
|"If you are overseas and you are captured in a battlefield and you are shooting at us, I think you get no due process, probably zero due process if you are firing a weapon at us, or you are involved in a battle."<ref name="guantanamo" /> (Presumably, you get due process if you're shooting ''something that isn't a weapon'' at us.)
|-
|'''[[Drone|Drone warfare]]'''
|"I really don’t think he’ll drop a Hellfire missile on a café in Houston like I’m talking about, but it really bothers me he [President Obama] [[Argument from silence|won’t say that he won’t.]] And it bothered me that when he was a member of this body, he had a much higher standard on civil liberties than he seems to now."<ref>Ewing, Phillip, [http://www.politico.com/story/2013/03/rand-paul-filibuster-john-brennan-cia-nominee-088507 "Rand Paul Pulls Plug on Nearly 13-Hour Filibuster"], Politico (03/06/13 12:33 PM EST, Updated 03/07/13 12:43 PM EST).</ref> 
|"If someone comes out of a liquor store with a weapon and fifty dollars in cash, I don’t care if a drone kills him or a policeman kills him...Fighting terrorism and capturing terrorists must be done while preserving our constitutional protections."<ref>Blake, Aaron, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2013/04/24/rand-paul-says-he-was-misunderstood-on-using-drones-against-common-criminals/ "Rand Paul says he was misunderstood on using drones against common criminals"], WaPo 4.24.13.</ref>
|-
|'''[[NATO]]'''
|"It is our role as a global leader to be the strongest nation in opposing Russia's latest aggression. [[Putin]] must be punished for violating the Budapest Memorandum, and Russia must learn that the U.S. will isolate it if it insists on acting like a rogue nation."<ref name="nato" />
|"Who needs to be part of NATO? What does NATO need to be at this point? One of the big things the neocons—the people in the Republican Party sort of on the other side from where I come from—is they want Georgia to be part of NATO. Well, Georgia sits right on the border of Russia. Do you think that might be provocative to put them in NATO? NATO's treaty actually says that if they're attacked, we will defend them. So, if the treaty means something, that means all of a sudden we're at war with Russia."<ref name="nato" />
|-
|'''[[Israel]]'''
|"While this budget proposal does eliminate foreign aid to Israel, it is not meant to hurt, negate, or single out one of America’s most important allies...Israel’s ability to conduct foreign policy, regain economic dominance, and support itself without the heavy hand of U.S. interests and policies, will only strengthen the Israeli community.<ref>Jacobson, Louis, [http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2014/aug/07/rand-paul/did-rand-paul-propose-cutting-aid-israel/ "Did Rand Paul propose cutting off aid to Israel?"], PolitiFact (8/7/14 11:58 a.m.).</ref>
|"We have never introduced anything that phased out or gets rid of Israel aid. Israel has always been a strong ally of ours and I appreciate that.”<ref>Reinhard, Ben, [http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2014/08/04/rand-paul-rebuts-suggestion-he-wanted-to-end-aid-to-israel/ "Rand Paul Rebuts Suggestion He Wanted to End Aid to Israel"], [[WSJ]] (8/4/14 4:10 pm ET).</ref>
|-
|'''[[DAESH]]'''
|"I think there has to be a limit and that if we go to war again−and I’m not saying we never go to war, that’s why I’ve even said I don’t rule out airstrikes−but if we’re going to go to war there needs to be a vote of the American people through their representatives."<ref>Paul, [http://www.nbcnews.com/meet-the-press/meet-press-transcript-june-22-2014-n137886 ''Meet the Press'' 7.22.14.]</ref>
|"If I had been in President Obama’s shoes, I would have acted more decisively and strongly against ISIS.  I would have called Congress back into session—even during recess."<ref>Benjy Sarlin, [http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/rand-paul-epic-isis-flip-flop "Rand Paul’s epic ISIS flip-flop"], MSNBC (09/04/14 02:49 PM, updated 09/04/14 09:52 PM).</ref>
|-
|'''[[Syria]]'''
|"There are already those in both parties who insist that we must have American GIs on the ground [in Syria]. I’m not sending any American soldiers. I’m not sending your son, your daughter or mine over to the middle of that chaos. The people who live there need to stand up and fight."<ref name="no except yes">Everett, Burgess, [http://www.politico.com/story/2014/09/rand-paul-syria-isil-111113 "Paul slams Syria plan"], Politico (09/18/14 03:09 PM EDT).</ref>
|"If you want to tremble and worry about the future of our republic, listen to the president when he says, ‘Well, Congress won’t act. Therefore I must.’ Had he come forward and [[Appeal to shame|done the honorable thing]], we would have approved. I would have approved an authorization of force."<ref name="no except yes" />
'''John McCain''': "It’s a very interesting metamorphosis."
|-
|'''[[Voting Rights Act]]'''
|“I’m a Republican who wants to restore a federal role for the government in the Voting Rights Act.”<ref>Sarlin, Benjy, [http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/rand-pauls-civil-rights-pitch "Rand Paul makes pitch to civil rights groups"], MSNBC (07/25/14 11:04 AM, updated 07/25/14 06:06 PM).</ref>
|"[[Affirmative action president|We have an African-American president.]] African-Americans are voting at a higher percentage in the last election than whites. There doesn't seem to be any sort of systemic problem like there was in the South with precluding blacks from voting."<ref>[http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2013/06/25/rand_paul_on_voting_rights_act_we_have_a_black_president.html "Rand Paul On Voting Rights Act: 'We Have A Black President'"], Real Clear Politics 6.25.13.</ref>
|-
|'''[[Voter ID]]s'''
|"So many times, Republicans are seen as this party of, ‘We don’t want black people to vote because they’re voting Democrat, we don’t want Hispanic people to vote because they’re voting Democrat'...We wonder why the Republican Party is so small. Why don’t we be the party that’s for people voting, for voting rights?”<ref>Glueck, Katie, [http://www.politico.com/story/2014/09/rand-paul-republicans-minorities-voting-111129 "Paul slams GOP on minorities, voting"], Politico (09/18/14 08:30 PM EDT).</ref>
|"There’s nothing wrong with it. To see Eric Holder you’ve got to show your driver's license to get in the building. So I don’t really object to having some rules for how we vote. I show my driver's license every time I vote in Kentucky and I don’t feel like it is a great burden."<ref>Weigel, David, [http://www.slate.com/blogs/weigel/2014/05/14/rand_paul_s_voter_id_walkback.html "Rand's Voter ID Walkback",] Slate (5/14/14 10:15 AM).</ref>
|-
|'''[[Anti-vaccination movement|Vaccines]]'''
|"I have heard of many tragic cases of walking, talking normal children who wound up with profound mental disorders after vaccines."<ref name="murray">Murray, Mark, [http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/meet-the-press-24-7/rand-paul-has-his-own-history-flip-flops-n337326 "Rand Paul Has His Own History of Flip-Flops"], MSNBC (4/7/15, 1:37 pm). Excerpts from CNBC interview (2/2/15) and an interview with [[Alex Jones]].</ref>
|"I did not say vaccines caused disorders, [[Just asking questions|just that they were temporally related]]...I support vaccines, I receive them myself and I had all of my children vaccinated."<ref>[http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/elections/paul-i-did-not-allege-causation-between-vaccines-disorders-n299641 "Paul: 'I Did Not Allege Causation' Between Vaccines, Disorders"], NBC interview (2/3/15 6:32 pm ET).</ref>
|-
|'''[[Birth control]]'''
|"I am not opposed to birth control...Plan B is taking two birth control pills in the morning and two in the evening, and I am not opposed to that."<ref>Hamby, Peter, [http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/30/politics/rand-paul-plan-b/index.html "Rand Paul: 'I am not opposed to birth control'"], CNN (Updated 9/30/14, 8:53 PM ET).</ref>
|"The interesting thing about this is, if you force the employer to buy this insurance [Affordable Care Act], they’re actually paying for something they find morally objectionable. But this has nothing to do with contraception. I have no objection to contraception, [[Special pleading|but I do have an objection to]] infringing on people’s religious liberty and their ability to decide what products to buy in the marketplace.”<ref>Alvarez, Alex, [http://www.mediaite.com/tv/rand-paul-slams-birth-control-mandate-it-infriges-on-religious-liberty-but-is-also-about-economic-freedom/ "Rand Paul Slams Birth Control Mandate: It Infringes On Religious Liberty As Wells As ‘Economic Freedom’"], Mediate (2/15/15 11:07 am).</ref>
|-
|'''[[Iran]]'''
|"I think people want to paint my father into some corner, but if you look at it intellectually, look at the evidence that Iran is not a threat. Iran cannot even refine their own gasoline."<ref name="murray" />
|"I will oppose any deal that does not end Iran's nuclear ambitions and have strong verification measures."<ref name="stop helping me"/>
|-
|'''[[Anti-environmentalism|Environmentalism]]'''
|"It boggles my mind to think that somehow Republicans have been branded as a party that doesn't like the environment...I'm a crunchy conservative and a tree hugger and proud of it."<ref>Kelley, Marty, [http://wonkette.com/586632/sure-rand-paul-is-now-a-tree-hugger-why-not "Sure, Rand Paul Is Now A Tree Hugger, Why Not?"], Wonkette (5/2715, 12:30pm).</ref>
|"The first thing I would do as president is [[Deregulation|repeal the regulations]] that are hampering our energy that the President has put in place. Including the Clean Power Act. While I do think that man may have a role in our climate, I think [[Climate_change_denial#It_has_been_hotter_in_the_past_so_it_is_just_cyclical|nature also has a role]]."<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2015/11/10/well-be-annotating-the-gop-debate-here/ "Who said what and what it meant: The 4th GOP debate, annotated"], WaPo 11.10.15.</ref>
|-
|'''[[NSA]]'''
|"I have fought for several years now to end the invasive and illegal spying of the NSA on ordinary Americans. I am ready to debate how we fight terrorism without giving up our liberty."<ref>Paul, [http://time.com/3902561/sen-rand-paul-tomorrow-i-will-stop-the-illegal-nsa-spying/ "I Will Stop the Illegal NSA Spying"], TIME 5.30.15.</ref>
|"I would say that targeted surveillance — I’m not against surveillance. I’m not against looking at records.”<ref name="nsa">Christopher Massie, [http://www.buzzfeed.com/christophermassie/rand-paul-us-should-spend-more-time-monitoring-people-who-sp#.arNvqkMD2 "Rand Paul: U.S. Should Spend More Time Monitoring 'People Who Speak Arabic'”], Buzzfeed (12/4/15, 2:43 p.m.).</ref>
|-
|'''[[Fourteenth Amendment|14th Amendment]]'''
|"[[Anonymous authority|The original author]] of the—of the Fourteenth Amendment said on the Senate floor that this was applying to slaves, and did not specifically apply to others."<ref name="amnesty" />{{efn|Yep, looks like he's [[PIDOOMA|getting the hang of being a Republican!]] It's also interesting how Rand Paul wants the 14th amendment to be [[Cognitive dissonance|repealed'' and'' extended]] at the same time.  It's almost as if he doesn't care what the Constitution says, and simply wants an excuse to force his personal views onto others.}}
|"Under the 14th Amendment, it is the government’s duty to protect life as defined in our Constitution."<ref name="fourteen" />
|}

Maybe Rand would have been even a quarter bit the "[[lightning rod]]" to millennials journalists claimed  he was if he stood by, well, ''any'' of his policies. The elder Paul these days actually comes across as the voice of reason.<ref name="guantanamo" /><ref>Zenon Evans, [https://reason.com/blog/2014/10/20/ron-paul-and-rand-paul-disagree-on-ebola "Ron Paul and Rand Paul Disagree on Ebola Travel Ban Proposal"], ''Reason''.</ref><ref>Katherine Miller, [http://www.buzzfeed.com/katherinemiller/ron-and-rand-paul-do-not-agree-about-isis#.xpQ6BW1X3 "Ron And Rand Paul Do Not Agree About ISIS"], Buzzfeed.</ref>

===I'm not just crazy, I was crazy ''first!'' Guys? Guys, where are you going?===

{{cquote|I was out-niggered by John Patterson. And I'll tell you here and now, I will never be out-niggered again.|||[[George Wallace]] to his campaign staff, 1958.}}

With his numbers in the tank, Rand fell back on his ''Hey! Anybody wanna audit the [[Federal Reserve|Fed]]?'' rhetoric,<ref>[http://www.politico.com/story/2015/02/rand-paul-wall-street-2016-elections-115226 "President Paul? Wall Street on High Alert"], Politico.</ref> since that usually plays well with his dad's constituency. He also tried running against Sanders from the left, using the old ''what if the majority voted for [[Slippery slope|slavery?]]'' chestnut.<ref>[http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2015/12/02/rand_paul_democratic_socialism_is_still_theft_the_main_reason_i_oppose_bernie_sanders.html Rand Paul: "'Democratic' Socialism Is Still Theft"]</ref><ref>Blue, Miranda, [http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/rand-paul-warns-sanders-presidency-could-lead-mass-genocide "Rand Paul Warns Sanders Presidency Could Lead to 'Mass Genocide'"], [[Right Wing Watch]] (10/16/2015 10:52 am).</ref>

Once the racists started flocking to Trump, it was all over.  In response, Rand began staking out fringe positions on immigration<ref>Fisher, Anthony L., [https://reason.com/blog/2015/12/14/rand-paul-cruz-rubio-anti-refugee "As campaign falters, the Kentucky senator 'sounds the alarm'"], ''Reason'' (12/14/15 t 1:27 pm).</ref> and [[gun control]], claiming the nation needs fewer gun-free zones.<ref>Zeitz, Josh, [http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2015/07/gun-control-us-capitol-120310 "If Guns Make Us Safer, Why Not Let Them Into the U.S. Capitol?"], Politico 7.18.15.</ref> When you've lost ''Reason'' magazine, you may be all out of chips to play.

It’s important to note that Paul thinks “it’s a mistake to base immigration or moratoriums based on religion,” as Trump advocates. That's why he has introduced a different bill, the Stop Extremists Coming Under Refugee Entry Act ([[Secure the border|SECURE]]), a ''whole week'' before Trump did. Look who's plagiarizing now?<ref>Kalli Joy Gray, [http://wonkette.com/596793/rand-paul-thought-of-banning-muslims-first-how-come-trump-gets-all-the-credit "Rand Paul Thought Of Banning Muslims First. How Come Trump Gets All The Credit?"], Wonkette.</ref> Actually, Paul stole an earlier proposal from Franklin Graham.<ref>Ed Kilgore, [http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/12/franklin-graham-and-trump-agree-on-muslims.html "Franklin Graham Anticipated Trump Proposal to Ban Muslim Immigration"], ''New York Magazine''. Rand Paul would trade shoes with Trump in a New York Minute. He's just pissed he didn't think of it first.</ref> No doubt it was kicked around on [[Stormfront]] long before any of these mainstream losers started touting it, though. Paul added that, despite being a “great advocate of privacy,” he is in favor of “targeted surveillance” of people who speak Arabic. He framed it as a [[Reaganism|personal freedom issue]] by taking the billions spent on digging up phone records and redirecting those resources toward brown people, which [[Phantom distinction|does not count as surveillance]].<ref name="nsa" />

As for ISIS, Paul plans to re-arm the Kurds and put "Arab boots on the ground". In other words: funding more wars in the Middle East.<ref>[http://www.wbko.com/content/news/Rand-Paul-Responds-to-President-Obamas-Address-to-the-Nation--360742281.html Right, just like more cars on the street will stop traffic.]</ref> Proxy wars are still wars and it's doubly stupid from a person who never hesitates to mention "[[blowback]]" in regard to foreign policy.

Evidently, he has had second thoughts or something: Trump switched gears in Iowa, accusing his opponents of wasting more of America's blood and treasure. And there was Paul in his rear-view mirror, squawking about how ''the government's making everything worse!''  He's between a rock and a hard-[[Far-right|right]] place: 

{{quotebox|Rand Paul’s presidential hopes mostly went out the window in mid-2014 when the Islamic State released videos of beheaded Americans. Those videos ended whatever post-Bush infighting existed within the Republican Party about the wisdom of rampant overseas intervention, and those videos prompted Paul to hedge. That hedging didn’t endear him to the hawks at all, though it did depress his libertarian fan base. The result was a dud of a campaign. —Jim Newell<ref>Newell, [http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2015/11/rand_paul_had_his_best_debate_the_kentucky_senator_returned_to_the_ideas.html "Rand Paul’s Hail Mary"], Slate.</ref>}}

===''The Thing That Wouldn't Leave''===

{{cquote|Maybe we should just tell them in advance we won't show up for [[Wahmbulance|any more of their stupid debates]]... they can't keep us off the internet.|||Its 10:00 pm, Ron. Do you know where your child is?<ref>Tani, Maxwell, [http://www.businessinsider.com/rand-paul-debate-live-tweets-2016-1 "While GOP candidates were slugging it out at the debate, we spent the night with Rand Paul"], Business Insider (1/15/16, 10:49 AM).</ref>}}

By December, he would have streaked in front of an NFL game if it would get his name in the papers. He was polling low enough that he was almost excluded from the Las Vegas debate.<ref name="graphic" /><ref>Andrew Kaczynski, [http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/rand-paul-im-only-polling-bad-because-trump-gets-all-the-att#.ngM0wY8op "Rand Paul: I’m Only Polling Bad Because Trump Gets All The Attention"], ''Buzzfeed''.</ref><ref>Stephen Shepard, [http://www.politico.com/story/2015/12/rand-paul-could-be-booted-from-main-debate-stage-216658 "Rand Paul Could Be Booted From Main Debate Stage"], Politico.</ref> While disappointed with the Debate Commission and TV networks for narrowing the field of candidates, Paul 
respects their right as private corporations to use their own methodology when
 just kidding, the libertarian answer is to hypocritically sue them with laws you hate.<ref>David Weigel, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2015/09/24/libertarians-and-greens-ready-lawsuit-against-commission-on-presidential-debates/ "Libertarians ready lawsuit against Commission on Presidential Debates"], ''[[Washington Post]]''.</ref><ref>David Weigel, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2015/12/11/rand-paul-faced-with-debate-snub-demands-the-same-treatment-that-carly-fiorina-was-given/ "Rand Paul, faced with debate snub, demands ‘the same treatment that Carly Fiorina was given’"], ''Washington Post''. Why, if it wasn't for Trump, Carson, Cruz, Rubio, Christie, Fiorina, Kasich, and Bush he'd be the front-runner!</ref><ref>Ben Kamisar, [http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/263077-rand-paul-makes-gop-debate-cut "Rand Paul makes GOP debate main stage"], The Hill.  [[CNN]] has yet to explain [https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/d6/0d/f0/d60df0035f17998d6e0af95b6df95488.jpg how] he made the cut.</ref>

In January, [[Fox News|FOX]] finally dumped him.  Paul announced that he was boycotting the debate in "protest", but within 48 hours was pleading with them to let him onstage, citing a Des Moines poll placing him at a dismal 5%.<ref>Caplan, Rebecca, [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/fox-business-rejects-rand-pauls-appeal-to-be-included-in-gop-debate-january-2016/ "Fox Business rejects Rand Paul's appeal to be included in GOP debate"] CBS (1/13/16 3:26 PM EST).</ref><ref>Griswold, Alex, [http://www.mediaite.com/print/after-boycotting-debate-rand-paul-asks-fox-business-to-include-him-on-main-stage/ "After Boycotting Debate, Rand Paul Asks Fox Business to Include Him on Main Stage"], Mediate (1/13/16 12:46 pm EST).</ref> He spent a couple of weeks [[Twitter|livetweeting]] the RNC and DNC debates<ref name="riff" /><ref name="tweets" /> and insisting that he was still in the race.<ref name="fail" /> He even offered to bribe<ref>Feinberg, Ashley, [Gawker.com: [http://archive.ph/http://gawker.com/rand-paul-promises-college-kids-letters-of-recommendati-1755705278 archive.ph], [http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://gawker.com/rand-paul-promises-college-kids-letters-of-recommendati-1755705278 web.archive.org] "Are you currently enrolled at Iowa State University? Do you have a pulse? Then Rand Paul wants YOU"], Gawker (1/28/16 3:05pm).</ref> students in exchange for warm bodies at his rally.{{efn|Remember when his father's supporters were outraged over Romney handing out free sandwiches?<ref>[http://archive.dailypaul.com/226912 Mitt Romney Caught Giving Free Sub Sandwiches For Votes! IT'S A FELONY!] by (FreedomLovingPatriot on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 06:22) ''Daily Paul'' (archived from December 27, 2015).</ref>}} Odds are a sizable portion of the attendees were from out of state to see Rand's dad, not him.<ref>Elliot, Phillip, [http://www.time.com/4201864/rand-paul-ron-paul-iowa/ "Ron Paul Joins Son For Caucus-Eve Rally in Iowa"], TIME 1.31.16.</ref>

Between the Senate telling him to go pound sand,<ref>Taylor, Andrew, [http://www.wral.com/senate-rejects-rand-paul-s-audit-the-fed-legislation/15229423/ "Senate rejects Rand Paul's 'Audit the Fed' legislation"], WRAL (1/14/16 3:53pm EST, updated 3:54pm).</ref> the Tea Party's defection, and [[Rupert Murdoch|News Corp]] hanging him out to dry,<ref>Gay Stolberg, Sheryl, [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/21/us/politics/rand-paul-president-senate-bid.html?_r=0 "Fading Presidential Hopes Complicate Rand Paul’s Senate Re-Election Bid"], NYT 1.20.16.</ref> Rand has just one thing to say to us: <big>Read between the lines!</big><ref>Ellefson, Lindsey, [http://www.mediaite.com/online/during-interview-rand-paul-flips-off-the-media/ "During Interview, Rand Paul Flips Off the Media"], Mediate (1/14/16 1:30pm). You won't have Rand Paul to kick around anymore.</ref> Looks like holding his breath and stamping his feet paid off, albeit briefly. A vacancy opened up when Donald missed the second Iowa debate (the latest volley in Trump's on-again, off-again war with FOX).<ref>Ballhaus, Rebecca, [http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2016/01/26/rand-paul-gets-back-on-gop-primetime-debate-stage/ "Rand Paul Back on GOP Primetime Debate Stage as Donald Trump Mulls Exit"], ''[[Wall Street Journal]]'' (1/26/16 6:17 pm ET). He's probably fantasizing about being carried around on everyone's shoulders.</ref> A bit like winning a ticket on the ''[[Titanic]]''.

===Rand Paul 
2020
 
2024
 2028===

{{cquote|No, no, no! Please don’t tweet that.|||Paul’s press secretary, after he threatened to [https://twitter.com/RandPaul/status/704692643574521861 "un-suspend"] his campaign.<ref>Weigel, Peter, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2016/03/05/rand-paul-votes-in-the-caucuses-he-created-but-isnt-competing-for/ "Rand Paul votes in the caucuses he created — but isn’t competing for"], WaPo 3.5.16.</ref>}}

Time of death, February 3.<ref>John King, Manu Raju and Mark Preston, [http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/03/politics/rand-paul-dropping-out-of-presidential-race/index.html "Rand Paul dropping out of Presidential race"], CNN (Updated 2/3/16, 12:27 PM ET).</ref> The PAC which supported Paul is now, quite sensibly, backing Libertarian candidate [[Gary Johnson]].<ref>Tate, Christopher, [http://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/politics-government/election/article98852277.html "Super PAC that supported Rand Paul now backing Gary Johnson "], McClatchy (8/30/16 at 3:52 PM).</ref>

Ron had 3 presidential bids between 1988-2012. If history tells us anything, we are in for at least [[Perennial candidate|20 more years of Rand]] pandering to geeks, potheads, conspiracy theorists and racists.

==Trump's conscience==
{{cquote|Truly weird Senator Rand Paul of [[Kentucky]] reminds me of a spoiled brat without a properly functioning brain.|||[[Donald Trump]], in a rare [[stopped clock]] moment (tweeted August 10, 2015),<ref>[http://archive.ph/CDPAN Truly weird Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky reminds me of a spoiled brat without a properly functioning brain. He was terrible at DEBATE!] by Donald Trump (5:41 PM - 10 Aug 2015) ''Twitter'' (archived from 23 Nov 2016 07:33:20 UTC).</ref> though one regrettably free of self-awareness}}
{{cquote|I feel sure that my friend @RandPaul will come along with the new and great health care program because he knows Obamacare is a disaster!|||Donald 
Turncoat
 Trump, after a change of immediate needs (tweeted March 7, 2017)<ref>[http://archive.ph/XNwNU I feel sure that my friend @RandPaul will come along with the new and great health care program because he knows Obamacare is a disaster!] by Donald Trump (4:14 PM - 7 Mar 2017) ''Twitter'' (archived from 8 Mar 2017 00:21:25 UTC).</ref>}}

What's this?  A libertarian supporting the most authoritarian nominee?<ref>Soave, Robby, [http://reason.com/blog/2016/05/06/rand-paul-will-endorse-donald-trump-the "Rand Paul Will Endorse Donald Trump, the Least Libertarian GOP Nominee in Decades"], ''Reason'' (May. 6, 2016 1:53 pm). '''Rand''': "I've always said I will endorse the nominee."</ref> ''Quelle surprise''.  He did go to Eastern Kentucky last year and tell people that Hillary hates the coal industry and that if they voted for Trump he would bring their jobs back.<ref>Andersen, Sarah, [http://www.wymt.com/content/news/Sen-Rand-Paul-makes-announcement-to-coal-miners-three-weeks-prior-to-election-397536361.html "Sen. Rand Paul makes announcement to coal miners three weeks prior to election"], WYMT (18 October 2016, 11:45 PM).</ref>

America should feel grateful that they have have Dr. Paul holding Trump's feet to the fire:

*Not only did he cast McCain's position on Trump/Russia as a personal vendetta, he managed to slip in a John McCain will "bankrupt the nation" and lead us to "perpetual war" for good measure.<ref>Chait, Jonathan, [http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/02/rand-paul-has-become-trumps-most-loyal-toady.html "Fox News Congratulates Rand Paul For Being Loyal Trump Stooge"], ''NY Mag'' (2/22/17 at 9:11 a.m.).</ref> He also pledged to "keep an open mind" on [[Rex Tillerson]] (that's politico-speak for ''he's got my vote''),<ref>Hensch, Mark, [http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/310259-rand-paul-has-open-mind-on-trumps-state-pick "Rand Paul: I'll keep ‘open mind’ on Tillerson"], ''The Hill'' (12/13/16 05:23 PM EST).</ref> took a bullet for [[Michael Flynn]] (against the objections of other Republicans),<ref>Logan, Bryan, [http://www.businessinsider.com/rand-paul-michael-flynn-investigation-2017-2 "Rand Paul on investigating Trump controversies: 'I just don't think it's useful,' particularly when it's 'your own party'"], Business Insider (2/15/17 at 12:09 AM).</ref> and confirmed [[Jeff Sessions]] for AG.<ref>[http://rare.us/rare-politics/rare-liberty/rand-pauls-vote-to-confirm-jeff-sessions-is-indefensible-on-its-face-but-was-it-still-the-right-move/ "Rand Paul’s vote to confirm Jeff Sessions is indefensible on its face, but was it still the right move?"], Rare (2/10/17 at 12:01 PM).</ref>
**Paul said of Sessions, "The thing is, I’ve seen pictures of him [[Friend argument|marching for voting rights with John Lewis.]]" It's a nice dodge: Sessions did indeed march with Lewis, but it was on the 50th anniversary of Bloody Sunday, when there was less chance of getting the tobacco kicked out of him.
**Sessions killed the bill he was working on with Democrats to change drug sentencing, and Paul acted all surprised.  Rand, you shared a chamber of Congress with him for 6 fucking years, so you need to find a new lie.<ref>Welch, Matt, [http://reason.com/blog/2017/05/16/rand-paul-sessions-misled-me-on-drug-sen "Rand Paul: Sessions Misled Me on Drug Sentencing"], ''Reason''  (16 May 2017, 11:50 am).</ref>
*Writing for the website Rare, Paul warned Republicans they had better repeal-and-replace [[Obamacare]], or else. How can Republicans vote for a replacement when they don't have a replacement ready? (And no, "replace it with freedom" doesn't count.)<ref>Paul, [http://rare.us/story/rand-paul-repeal-all-of-obamacare-and-replace-immediately/ "Rand Paul: Repeal all of Obamacare and replace immediately"], Rare (1/2/17 at 12:09 pm).</ref>
**Never fear: if you love IRA funds, you'll come out ahead with Paul's [https://www.paul.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/ObamacareReplacementActSections.pdf "Health Savings Accounts".] But if you don't earn enough to sock away tens of thousands, well, it's back to pre-Obamacare for you. If he's going to implement a huge tax deduction, he should qualify it by an income limit. All this does is incentivize the 1% to spend more on cosmetic procedures like veneers, micro-dermabrasions, liposuctions etc. so they'll resemble the cast of ''Hunger Games'' even more.<ref>Hiltzick, Michael, [http://www.latimes.com/business/hiltzik/la-fi-hiltzik-hsa-20161118-story.html "Health savings accounts: Another conservative 'reform' nostrum that chiefly benefits the rich"], ''LA Times'' (11.18.16 t 12:30 PM).</ref>
*Remember the {{wpl|Bowling Green massacre|Bowling Green Massacre}}? Rand made the same "mistake" on ''Morning Joe.'' Very funny coincidence. The closest thing KY experienced to terrorism was a story from 2009 about a couple of refugees with ties to Iraq. Rand turned it into an "attempted bombing", and Kellyanne Conway spun that into a "massacre".<ref>Kessler, Glenn, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2017/02/03/kellyanne-conways-claim-of-a-bowling-green-massacre/ "Kellyanne Conway’s claim of a ‘Bowling Green massacre’"], WaPo 2.3.17.</ref> If this trend continues, Spicer will call it the "Kentucky Genocide" and Trump will refer to it as the "Bowling Green Extinction Event".

==Russian puppet==
[[John McCain]] said Paul was "working for Vladimir Putin" when he voted against Montenegro's NATO membership in 2017.<ref>[https://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/mccain-rand-paul-is-now-working-for-vladimir-putin-236106 McCain: Rand Paul 'is now working for Vladimir Putin'], Connor O'Brien, ''Politico'' 15 March 2017</ref> In the wake of the 2022 [[Russia]]n invasion of [[Ukraine]], Paul voted against sending aid to Ukraine, blaming [[Joe Biden]] for the invasion by "provoking Russia".<ref>[https://apnews.com/article/russia-ukraine-biden-congress-95054277161c9003b40df6cd17234046 Rand Paul stalls quick Senate OK of $40B Ukraine package], Alan Fram, ''AP'' 12 May 2022</ref> This resulted in Ukraine labeling him as a Russian [[propaganda|propagandist]].<ref>[https://www.newsweek.com/tulsi-gabbard-rand-paul-placed-list-russian-propagandists-ukraine-1727831 Tulsi Gabbard, Rand Paul Placed on List of Russian Propagandists by Ukraine], Giulia Carbonaro, ''Newsweek'' 26 August 2022</ref>

==Feud with Fauci==
Throughout the [[COVID-19 pandemic|COVID-19 Pandemic]], Rand Paul has been an outspoken critic of masks, vaccines, and {{wpl|Dr. Anthony Fauci||,}} who at that time was the director of the {{wpl|National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases}} (a position he had held since [[Ronald Reagan]]'s presidency), and was considered one of the world's most respected health officials.<ref>[https://www.theadvocate.com/baton_rouge/opinion/our_views/article_3d4a8fc6-23d3-11ed-9f62-ff41a2b83627.html "Our Views: Anthony Fauci deserves thanks, not scorn"], staff editorial, The Advocate, 2022 August 29</ref><ref>[https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/mask-mandates-lockdown-choose-freedom-sen-rand-paul "Sen. Rand Paul: Mask mandates and lockdowns from petty tyrants? No, not again. Choose freedom"] by Sen. Rand Paul, Fox News, 2021 August 4</ref><ref>[https://www.kentucky.com/opinion/op-ed/article267475938.html "Rand Paul’s ignorance of ‘pure science’ research leads to his abuse of Anthony Fauci"] by Roger Guffey, Lexington Herald-Leader, 2022 October 18</ref> Early in the pandemic, Rand Paul was the first US senator to test positive for COVID-19;<ref>[https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2020/3/22/21190176/rand-paul-coronavirus-test-positive "Rand Paul is the first senator to test positive for Covid-19"] by Dylan Scott, Vox, 2020 March 2022</ref> despite being worried enough about his illness to get a test, he continued to participate in group lunches and do laps in the pool in the Senate gym while waiting for the test results, irresponsibly potentially spreading COVID to his other colleagues. <ref>[https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2020/03/rand-paul-coronavirus-test-reckless/608593/ "Rand Paul Has More Than a Cold"] by Edward-Isaac Dovere, Atlantic, 2020 March 23</ref> Despite being a doctor of ophthalmology, he delusionally (or politically) has insisted on promoting all of the wacky conspiracy theories generated by the [[anti-vaccination]] and anti-[[face mask]] crowds which were particularly popular with United States [[Republicans]].<ref>[https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/31/politics/rand-paul-covid-19-ivermectin/index.html "Rand Paul has a *very* wacky theory about ivermectin"] by Chris Cillizza, CNN, 2021 August 31</ref>

Paul repeatedly called for Fauci to be fired,<ref>[https://www.thenation.com/article/politics/rand-paul-fauci/ "Rand Paul Abandons His Hippocratic Oath to Play Politics During a Pandemic"] by John Nichols, Nation, 2022 January 19</ref><ref>[https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2022/03/19/rand-paul-will-try-to-fire-fauci-by-introducing-new-amendment/?sh=5113566d66ed "Rand Paul Will Try To Fire Fauci By Introducing New Amendment"] by Bruce Y. Lee, Forbes, 2022 March 19</ref> and constantly spread a conspiracy theory (based on a real but unrelated 2014 grant to look at bat coronaviruses) that Fauci funded "{{wpl|gain-of-function research||"}} on viruses in China, research that somehow created the COVID-19 virus. (To Fauci, this claim was "molecularly impossible").<ref>[https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/fauci-blasts-rand-paul-covid-lab-theory-1247137/ ‘Molecularly Impossible’: Fauci Blasts Rand Paul for Covid Lab Theory] by Peter Wade, Rolling Stone, 2021 October 24</ref><ref>[https://www.bbc.com/news/57932699 "Coronavirus: Was US money used to fund risky research in China?"], BBC News, 2021 August 2</ref> 

Paul's COVID stances and conspiracy mongering led to multiple fiery clashes between Fauci and Paul between 2020 and 2022,<ref>[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/fauci-rand-paul-emails-hearing-b1992415.html "Paul clashed over leaked emails, masks and Omicron in testy Senate hearings"] by Justin Vallejo, Independent, 2022 January 13</ref> where time and time again, Fauci schooled Paul for his brainless [[bullshit]].<ref>[https://www.forbes.com/sites/elanagross/2020/09/23/dr-faucis-schooling-of-rand-paul-draws-cheers-from-medical-community/?sh=450ff16b6797 "Dr. Fauci's 'Schooling' Of Rand Paul Draws Cheers From Medical Community"] by Elana Lyn Gross, Forbes, 2020 September 23</ref> According to Fauci, Paul's rhetoric kindled "the crazies out there," and sparked death threats against him and his family.<ref>[https://www.npr.org/2022/01/11/1072110378/dr-fauci-says-gop-sen-pauls-false-accusations-have-sparked-death-threats "Dr. Fauci says GOP Sen. Paul's false accusations have sparked death threats"] by Brian Naylor, NPR, 2022 January 11</ref> 

Paul believed that, for COVID-19, natural immunity overshadowed vaccine immunity.<ref>[https://www.courier-journal.com/story/opinion/2021/05/27/rand-paul-says-people-natural-covid-immunity-should-skip-vaccine/7468051002/ "Rand Paul: The science proves people with natural immunity should skip COVID vaccines"] by Sen. Rand Paul, Courier Journal, 2021 May 27</ref> While studies are mixed on whether natural immunity from COVID is better than the vaccine,<ref>[https://www.webmd.com/vaccines/covid-19-vaccine/news/20211031/covid-vax-5-times-more-protective-than-natural-immunity "COVID Vax 5 Times More Protective Than Natural Immunity"] by Carolyn Crist, WebMd, 2021 November 1</ref><ref>[https://www.science.org/content/article/having-sars-cov-2-once-confers-much-greater-immunity-vaccine-vaccination-remains-vital "Having SARS-CoV-2 once confers much greater immunity than a vaccine—but vaccination remains vital"] by Meredith Wadman, Science, 2021 August 26</ref> Paul's stance was criticized for irresponsibly encouraging people to risk a nasty, even possibly fatal COVID-19 infection instead of getting the safe, predictable protection the vaccines provided.<ref>[https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/05/health/covid-natural-immunity.html "‘Natural Immunity’ From Covid Is Not Safer Than a Vaccine"] by Apoorva Mandavilli, New York Times, 2020 December 5</ref>

==See also==
*[[Paul Ryan]] — He's a staunch libertarian, except [https://votesmart.org/candidate/key-votes/26344/paul-ryan/25/drug-issues when he's not.]

==Videos==

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAn1FWInBi0#t=27 Rand Paul: "Low-Flow Liberal Toilets Can't Handle All My Poo."]{{onion}}
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUXwDMqjC-A We hope he built his bunker out of drone-proof material] — Watching that again is a thing of beauty. Rand spews out nonsense in [[Dunning-Kruger effect|a scolding, condescending tone]], and Sanders just destroys him with a single question.
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZfqdJieNTM Maddow grills Rand Paul on the CRA] — He said something vague about it and thought he could move on with life. Rachel asked follow-up questions, and wouldn't let up until he very clearly said that businesses should be able to discriminate.

==External links==
*[http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/rand-paul-to-teach-course-gwu-dystopian-visions Well, at least he's qualified.]
*[http://www.politico.com/story/2016/01/rand-paul-carmen-sandiego-ad-lawsuit-218343 ''Carmen Sandiego'' songwriter threatens to sue Rand Paul] — Now now, maybe he's just homesteading the song because the owner was not maximizing its potential.
*[http://wonkette.com/582179/rand-paul-teaches-lady-reporter-how-to-talk-to-him-again Rand Paul Teaches Lady Reporter How To Talk To Him, Again] — This guy has an entitlement complex you can see from space and election chances you can't see with an electron microscope.
*[http://i.imgur.com/t6odVAL.jpg Rand Paul can "win the whole thing" if Iowa supporters just open their wallets and give him more $.] — Wait...That's what he raised so far? That's so little most of it could come from his own pocket. His daddy could [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/ron-paul-raises-42m-in-one-day/ teach him a thing or two.]
*Repeal Obamacare, ''or else''…<big>[http://i.imgur.com/XJwaOgu.jpg I won't let you win this round of golf!]</big>
*[https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/rand-paul-ophthalmologist/  Was Rand Paul Certified as an Ophthalmologist by a Board He Created? The Kentucky senator’s medical qualifications came under a microscope in a meme.] — [[Snopes]]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|3|80%}}

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