Large Hadron Collider

[[File:CERN Aerial View.jpg|thumb|right|165px|Aerial View of the CERN]]
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The '''Large Hadron Collider''' ('''LHC''') is a gigantic piece of [[scientific]] machinery designed to replicate conditions immediately after the [[Big Bang]] and search for new particles (predicted or not) by accelerating hadrons to relativistic speeds. It stands as a testament to the ingenuity and the continuing advancement of the technical prowess of humanity. Seriously, if you somehow get a job or internship at CERN, check it out!

There are also other smaller projects to be conducted along with the main research. The LHC is located at the European Center for Nuclear Research ([[CERN]]) facility and is contained within a 27-kilometre-long (16.7 miles) tunnel that straddles the border between [[France]] and [[Switzerland]]. The Large Hadron Collider is the most complex scientific instrument ever built and the most powerful energy particle accelerator in the world. It can accelerate particles to up to 99.9 percent the speed of light-and then some more.<ref>[https://lhc2008.web.cern.ch/LHC2008/ LHC 2008], CERN</ref>

==Problems==
While highly anticipated, it has been fraught with delays and budget problems, exceeding $6 billion in construction costs. All of these have served to make it a major [[lightning rod]] for various [[anti-science]] factions. It has been attacked by everyone from the [[extremist]]s, such as [[religious fundamentalist]] and [[Illuminati]] [[conspiracy theorist]]s, to the mundane, with criticism of its costs, purpose, and hilarious vulnerability to [[bird]]s.<ref>[http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2009-11/bread-loving-bird-shuts-down-lhc Baguette Dropped From Bird's Beak Shuts Down The Large Hadron Collider (Really)], ''Popular Science''</ref> It was turned on for the first time in September 2008, but suffered a major fault just 9 days later. It restarted again in late November 2009,<ref>[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8369853.stm Q&A: Large Hadron Collider repairs], BBC</ref> and has operated flawlessly ever since...with the small exception of having been brought to its knees by a rogue weasel in April of 2016.<ref>[http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-36173247 ''BBC'' — "Large Hadron Collider: Weasel causes shutdown"]</ref>

==This is all very interesting, but how does it work?==
[[image:CERN LHC ATLAS.jpg|thumb|left|The ATLAS detector, partially built, in 2005. The eight things that look like pipes are toroidal [[magnet]]s.]]
[[image:CERN LHC CMS.jpg|thumb|left|The CMS detector in 2007.]]
{{cquote|Recreating the Big Bang: the most extreme historical re-enactment society ever.|||[[BBC]]: Armando Ianucci's ''Charm Offensive''}}
[[Subatomic particle|Particles]], such as protons, enter the LHC through a series of small particle accelerators (in a ring shape), each one pushing them closer and closer to the [[speed of light]] until they are released into the larger LHC ring. Some of the accelerators inject particles moving clockwise, others inject counterclockwise particles. When these opposing particle streams collide, they release enormous amounts of energy. This energy is recorded by four giant detectors: ALICE ('''A''' '''L'''arge '''I'''on '''C'''ollider '''E'''xperiment), CMS ('''C'''ompact '''M'''uon '''S'''olenoid), ATLAS ('''A''' '''T'''oroidal '''L'''HC '''A'''pparatu'''s'''), and LHCb ('''L'''arge '''H'''adron '''C'''ollider '''b'''eauty).<ref>[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7534835.stm Guide to the Large Hadron Collider], BBC</ref> All this data is processed using a new system of computing called "The Grid." The Grid consists of 80,000 [[computer]]s in 50 countries, all designed to number-crunch the huge amounts of data the LHC is expected to produce, which amounts to 15,000 terabytes (or 15 petabytes) per annum.<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20081013180629/http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=&xml=/earth/2008/09/07/scicern107.xml 'The Grid' will see 80,000 computer network processing data from LHC], ''The Telegraph''</ref>

==Fear, uncertainty, and doubt==
{{main|Manufactroversy}}
{{cquote|Anyone who thinks the Large Hadron Collider will destroy the world is a twat.|||[[Brian Cox]]}}
The lead-up to the switch-on was a cause for concern among people who didn't know all the [[physics]].

Some were worried that it would create a [[black hole]] and destroy the [[Earth]]. The black hole problem is ''theoretically'' real, but cosmic rays that are more energetic than those produced by CERN regularly bombard [[Earth]] without ill effect.<ref>[http://press.web.cern.ch/backgrounders/safety-lhc The safety of the LHC], CERN</ref> And just like all other matter, a black hole's gravitational force is proportional to its mass; black holes typically attain their immense mass from the implosions of large stars, while the microscopic black holes which could potentially be created by the LHC would not be able to consume a grain of sand, let alone the entire Earth.

Additionally, the smallest black holes, such as those the LHC would allegedly create, have absurdly small theoretical lifespans: they would shrink to nothing via emission of [[Hawking radiation]] in tiny fractions of a second, as black holes have temperature ''inversely'' proportional to their mass. Others (who'd probably been 
watching too much ''<u>Stargate</u>''
 playing too much ''<u>Half-Life</u>'') posited an [[Extraterrestrial|alien]] invasion via an LHC-created wormhole.<ref group=note>Luckily, if such a thing had ever occurred, we would be well prepared with [http://img.archive.today/PU9p9/09bff9ce64b2145a3410a148ad7d86e19ddeac8c.jpg crowbars] (HEV suit sold separately). (Also, would the ''invaders'' be prepared for a wormhole suddenly opening up on their doorstep? What? That's an important question!)</ref>

Another fear was that the entire [[Universe]] would undergo Total Existence Failure, although this is "infinitely" improbable.<ref>[http://uk.news.yahoo.com/itn/20080910/twl-big-bang-experiment-gets-under-way-41f21e0.html Big Bang experiment gets under way], ITN</ref><ref>[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1052354/Are-going-die-Wednesday.html "Are we all going to die next Wednesday?"] No, ''[[Daily Mail]]''! We didn't die that Wednesday, and we also missed out on the [[2012 apocalypse]], so we'll have wait for some other [[Predictions of the end of the world|End of the World]] scare.</ref><ref group=note>On the other hand, it is equally possible that the Total Existence Failure did in fact occur, and nobody noticed.</ref> According to one Walter L. Wagner, a high school teacher from [[Hawaii]], the LHC had a 50% chance to destroy the Earth: either it would, or it wouldn't.<ref>[http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-april-30-2009/large-hadron-collider Large Hadron Collider], ''The Daily Show''</ref> Some believe that the LHC opened temporal rifts or wormholes between alternate universes, with people beginning to randomly slide between timelines and experience the [[Mandela effect]] when something that used to be true in their old universe isn't true anymore in this one.

A further possibility put forward<ref>By [[Douglas Adams|this guy]]</ref> was that the Universe would vanish, to be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There are some,<ref>[[Time Cube|This other guy]]</ref> however, who think that this has already happened. The popularity of the TV series ''[[Ancient Aliens]]'' is potential [[evidence]] of this.

==See also==
*[[Comic Sans]]<ref>[http://home.web.cern.ch/about/updates/2014/04/cern-switch-comic-sans CERN to switch to Comic Sans] (In response to the [http://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2012/jul/04/higgs-boson-comic-sans-twitter outcry.])</ref>
*[[Fear, uncertainty, and doubt]] — the [[public relations]] term

==External links==
*[http://www.hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/ Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the world yet?]
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20090515091358/http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article4717864.ece 30 other days when the world didn't end]
*Multimedia gallery at the [http://multimedia-gallery.web.cern.ch/multimedia-gallery/Default.aspx CERN] website
*[http://www.lhc.ac.uk/ Welcome to the Large Hadron Collider] (A sensible site)
*If you prefer your High-Energy Physics lessons sung to you in rap form, you may find the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j50ZssEojtM Large Hadron Supercollider Rap] not only educational, but also entertaining.
*Physicist [[Brian Cox]] [http://www.ted.com/talks/brian_cox_on_cern_s_supercollider.html explains] the what and why of the LHC in layman's language.
*What the LHC is [http://xkcd.com/401/ ''really''] for.
*[[Cracked]], [https://www.cracked.com/article_16583_the-5-scientific-experiments-most-likely-to-end-world.html The 5 Scientific Experiments Most Likely to End The World]

==References==
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==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

[[Category:Science]]

Categories: Science