PPSIMMONS

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{{cquote|What are the chances of you dying today?  50-50: Either you will, or you won't.|25px|25px|Carl Gallups<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ukq_9M60L_0 DEAR ATHEIST - Let's Talk]</ref>}}

'''PPSIMMONS''' (not to be confused with {{wpl|Persimmon|persimmons}}) is an amorphous mass of stupid whose most prominent representative is Pastor '''Carl Gallups''', and which operates a website devoted to [[young earth creationism]] and [[Biblical literalism]]. They make many videos attacking the [[theory of evolution]] and promoting [[intelligent design]]. Additionally, they believe in [[Satan]] and the [[evil]] influence of witches in the world. And just to round out the idiocy, they are also [[birther]]s, often call [[Obama]] the [[Antichrist]] (they're [[just asking questions]]!), and believe that [[anthropogenic global warming]] is a "profit-driven [[scam]]".<ref>[http://ppsimmons.blogspot.com/2011/09/ppsimmons-slams-atheist-site.html PPSIMMONS Slams Atheist Site Rationalwiki on Erroneous Posting]</ref>

==Where we give opinion==
The shapeless cloud of foolishness that is PPSIMMONS made many YouTube videos trying to demonstrate that evolution seems improbable to the point of impossibility until the channel was "terminated due to repeated or severe violations of… Community Guidelines and/or claims of copyright infringement" on April 25, 2012 [http://www.youtube.com/user/ppsimmons Youtube]. Many of their videos are being re-uploaded to [http://www.youtube.com/user/carlgallups Carl Gallups' Youtube channel] and on their Facebook page. They search through any scientific articles that mention "design" or "creation" (in all forms and definitions) and [[quote mining|use them to support an argument that all scientists recognize design]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkDfK7dYBuE A mirror of PPSIMMONS video on an article of butterfly wings pointing to design]</ref> And, of course, if they recognize design in nature, then [[intelligent design]] is really science!  ''Victory!''  

PPSIMMONS/Gallups (like many other big creationists on YouTube) censors and blocks people for simply disagreeing with them/him. All negative comments, criticisms, and corrections are erased as if they never existed, and the user who posted them is banned from commenting further, giving [[Gish Gallop|Gallups]] the appearance of being smart, in a wondrous feat of legerdemain that a more sinful commentator might call "ridiculously fucking deceitful". In some of his videos, the comment option has been disabled.

Luckily, many users have made wonderful rebuttal videos to PPSIMMONS' material.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW2gaAtQK5g Holy Hallucinations 8]</ref><ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-BEBQBVg0I Creationists Butcher Science Ep. 11 &mdash; ppsimmons]</ref> Unluckily, the unknowable fog of dumb that is PPSIMMONS refuses to allow video responses and (often in response to challengers) disables all comments on his videos that were refuted.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxLILXjW3Bk ppsimmons &mdash; Chickenshit Creationist]</ref>

Unsurprisingly, the eluctable quantum field of moron that is PPSIMMONS promotes the [[Question Evolution]] campaign,<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=790xcY2CaHs PPSIMMONS "Question Evolution! Worldwide Campaign! JOIN US!"]</ref> a creationist anti-evolution [[propaganda]] machine hoping to get students and teachers to question and minimize (or eliminate) teaching evolution in science classes.

Like all good [[Fundamentalist|True Christians™]], they felt it necessary to chastise the late [[Christopher Hitchens]] after his death.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHxjNcBZ9Tg Christopher Hitchens &mdash; A WASTED Life &mdash; Get "THE ATHEISTS ARE WRONG" Today!]</ref>

==Positive side==
To non-American ears the voice behind the PPSIMMONS Youtube videos is so unutterably boringly soporific that it could easily be used as a sleeping aid for those suffering for insomnia. Listen and try it for yourself.

==Demise==
On May 1<sup>st</sup>, 2012, YouTube pulled the plug on his account, stating "This account has been terminated due to repeated or severe violations of our Community Guidelines and/or claims of copyright infringement." This resulted in [[WND]] [[persecution complex|howling]] about how Christians are being targeted,<ref>[http://www.wnd.com/2012/05/youtube-pulls-plug-on-christian-videos/ YouTube pulls plug on Christian videos]</ref> [[hypocrisy|even though their channel removes dissenting comments and bans those who made them in the first place]], and a call for a [[boycott]] of YouTube by PPSimmons himself.<ref>[http://www.ppsimmons.blogspot.com/2012/05/youtube-users-call-for-boycott-over.html Youtube Users Call for BOYCOTT Over Closure of PPSIMMONS Channel]</ref>

==See also==
*[[List of internet kooks]]
*[[Rational and irrational YouTubers]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/ppsimmons YouTube channel]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4_tRgsXeV4 ZOMG RationalWiki gets pwned!]
*[http://ppsimmons.blogspot.com/2012/07/higgs-boson-discovery-no-threat-to.html The Higgs boson proves God!]
*[http://www.ppsimmons.com his website]

==References==
{{reflist}}

[[Category:Christians]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theorists]]
[[Category:Creationists]]
[[Category:Denialists]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Ministers]]
[[Category:Pissed at us]]
[[Category:Pseudoscience promoters]]
[[Category:YouTube]]

Categories: Christians, Conspiracy theorists, Creationists, Denialists, Living people, Ministers, Pissed at us, Pseudoscience promoters, YouTube