Baptism

[[File:infant_baptism.jpg|thumb|right|165px|A [[Priest#christianity|Christian priest]] using [[enhanced interrogation]].]]
{{christianity}}{{waternav}}
{{hatnote|For the evangelical denomination, see [[Baptist]].}}

'''Baptism''' is the [[Mysticism|mystical]] ritual of of dipping, dunking, pouring, or sprinkling a person with [[water]], an act which holds deep [[spirituality|spiritual]] significance in some [[religion]]s. It is usually a religious {{wpl|rite of passage}} implying entry into [[church]] membership, typically representing (literally or metaphorically, depending on who you ask) the "washing away" of "[[sin|defects]]" in the "[[soul]]".

==Like affects like==
Baptism is an example of an assumption of like effects based on [[symbolism | symbolic]] similarity. Because water is an effective solvent for cleansing dirt from the outside of the body, theologians conclude that water also has some mystical effectiveness in [[Cleanse|cleansing]] the [[spirit]], soul, or [[mind]] from internal "dirt" of the sinful kind. This belief is a prime example of an area best explained by the {{wpl | hermeneutics | hermeneutic}} method, rather than by the [[scientific method]].

==Who baptises==
===Christianity===
The method of baptism varies between Christian [[sect]]s, ranging from a gentle splash of water on the head up to full immersion in water. [[Roman Catholic]]s and [[Anglican]]s would typically use water blessed prior to the baptism, while other sects, such as [[Methodist]]s, believe the water becomes [[holy]] during the rite of baptism.

Sects also differ on the age at which a person should be baptized. Many encourage baptizing people when they are infants, while the [[Baptist]]s and [[Anabaptists]] believe only adults should be baptized, arguing that children are unable to fully consent to being induced into a [[faith]]. In the early years of the movement, the Anabaptists condemned infant baptism as "the highest and chief abomination of the Pope."<ref>[https://www.anabaptists.org/history/the-schleitheim-confession.html The Schleitheim Confession] (Published February 24, 1527; Reprinted 1985) ''Anabaptists.org''</ref>

In the moral theology of Roman Catholicism, anyone is able to perform the ritual of baptism and allowed to do so in an emergency. All that is required is that they say it in the name of the [[Trinity]]: "I baptize thee in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost."<ref>[http://www.calefactory.org/sac-baptism.htm How a Lay Person Should Administer Baptism], calefactory.org</ref> Claims that Catholics had baptized Jews, believing that an emergency was present and that the ritual would gain them [[Heaven]], have resulted in the kidnapping of Jewish infants from their families, as happened in the case of {{wpl|Edgardo Mortara|Edgardo Mortara|.}}

===Judaism===
In [[Judaism]], a ''mikvah'' is a bath used for ritual immersion, vaguely resembling Christian baptism. In the times of the Temple, ''mikva'ot'' were used to achieve ritual purity before one could enter the Temple. In modern times, they're used for much the same purpose (despite the notable lack of an extant temple), most commonly by women after menstruation.<ref>[http://www.religiousrules.com/Judaismpurity02general.htm Concerning Ritual Purity and Cleanliness]</ref> Interestingly, submersion in a mikvah is required for a conversion to Judaism, the reasons sounding a lot like those for Christian baptism.

==Just add water==
Why is water necessary for baptism? Given all the talk about God washing away the [[sin]]s of the world with the blood of Christ, such as in [[RationalWiki:Annotated Bible/Revelation#Revelation 1:5|Revelation 1:5]], why not that? Or, if blood is too icky, how about [[wine]]? That's used for washing too. So is oil; that's the whole idea behind {{wpl|anointing||.}} Heck, why use a fluid at all? [[John the Baptist]] says in [[RationalWiki:Annotated Bible/Matthew#Matthew 3:11|Matthew 3:11]] that his successor will baptize with "the Holy Ghost and fire", not water.

According to [[Thomas Aquinas]], yes, water is absolutely necessary. His reasoning basically follows the hermeneutic method (i.e. not the [[scientific method]]): water is necessary for physical life to grow, so it must be necessary for religious life to grow, and since water cleans stains, cools people down, and is transparent to [[light]], it must also clean the stain of [[sin]], cool "superfluous heat", and be transparent to the light of faith. Wine and oil are avoided for practical reasons: they're not as abundant, they leave behind a scent (or "contracts a certain smell therefrom" as he puts it), and simply are not as good at washing as water. The fire mentioned in Matthew could, evidently, be another name for the Holy Spirit or be referring to judgement or trials and tribulations.<ref name="aquinas-water-necessary">Thomas Aquinas, ''[http://www.newadvent.org/summa/4066.htm#article3 Summa Theologica]'', p. 3, q. 66, art. 3.</ref>

So, if water is absolutely necessary, that of course raises the question, what ''type'' of water? Aquinas states it must be "pure or plain water", but says it's okay if there are other things mixed in so long as it doesn't change the water's [[Essentialism|"nature" or "species"]]. He particularly notes that sea-water, rain-water, water mixed with oil, and water exposed to lye or sulfur are fine, but not rose-water, mud, or any sort of liquid that comes from plants.<ref>Thomas Aquinas, ''[http://www.newadvent.org/summa/4066.htm#article3 Summa Theologica]'', p. 3, q. 66, art. 4.</ref> While Aquinas doesn't specifically mention it, that last one would, by extension, exclude perfumes, liquors, and broth.

Interestingly, Aquinas states that blessing the baptismal water into [[holy water]] isn't ''really'' necessary, but it should be done anyways, because it inspires [[faith]] and keeps [[Satan|Old Scratch]] from interfering.<ref name="aquinas-water-necessary"/>

==Holy water==
[[File:LulzBaptism.png|right|165px|thumb|"Talk, you son of a bitch!"]]

{{cquote|What if a [[Catholic]] [[priest]] were to just bless the entire ocean would it turn the entire thing into holy water or do priests have an effective blessing range? Does that range increase based on your level? Can the [[pope]] bless the entire ocean?|||Westfailia, asking ''the real'' questions<ref>http://imgur.com/gallery/jf8sX</ref>}}

Holy water is usually common tap [[water]] which has been [[magic]]ally transformed through the blessing of a [[priest]]. [[Holy]] water has the power to cure the sick and ward off [[Vampire|vampires]] and [[Demon|demons]].<ref group=note>2d4 damage per pint on impact, plus 1 splash damage with a 5 foot radius (no splash in 5e).</ref> Oh, and it is a medieval melee weapon. When thrown on the ground, it creates a damaging flame that slides post-''Rondo of Blood''.<ref>http://castlevania.wikia.com/wiki/Holy_Water</ref> A vial of holy water costs 25 gold coins.<ref>http://www.frontiernet.net/~jamesstarlight/HolyWater.html</ref>

In Christianity, holy water is usually associated with the [[Roman Catholic Church]], but it is sometimes used in other sects. Holy water is also found in other religions, including [[Hinduism]], [[Sikhism]], [[Buddhism]], and [[Jainism]].

It's also helpful for [[Baptism|keeping your sinful infant from going to hell]].

===Roman Catholic holy water===
Special blessed water has been important since early on in the Roman Catholic Church, where it's a continuation of traditions from the [[Greco-Roman religion]].<ref>[http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=ucVcp8oMfUoC&pg=PA83&lpg=PA83&dq=holy+water%2Broman+religion&source=bl&ots=bazSuA9hC2&sig=uKrf6Xeg2V1faYP_PT_wdLShzh4&hl=en&ei=cTyATuPaCNKX0QWt6N2-CQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5&sqi=2&ved=0CDkQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&q=holy%20water%20roman%20religion&f=false A Study of Primitive Elements in Roman Religion]</ref> Water can also be holy because of the place it comes from; you can even buy special holy water from Lourdes online, then keep a bottle in your home or carry it with you, and it will [[Bullshit|shield you from the powers of darkness]].<ref>http://www.discountcatholicproducts.com/Holy-Water-Bottles-C397.aspx?gclid=CLTNmMHHuqsCFYIMfAodGRfCdg</ref> And since business remains profitable, the church won't complain.

===Holy shit water===
In spite of its [[supernatural]] properties, holy water becomes stagnant when kept in a container, and has the potential to spread [[bacteria]]l and [[viral]] infections when people dip their hands into it on a continuous basis.<ref>J.C. Rees and K.D. Allen, 1996 "Holy water &mdash; a risk factor for hospital-acquired infection". Journal of Hospital Infection 32(1), pages 51-55.</ref> This issue was possibly nullified when some [[Italian]]s used technology to create and install a motion-sensing, hands-free holy water dispenser in one of their [[church]]es.<ref>http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120340662</ref>

Studies have shown that holy water may contain bacteria like ''Escherichia coli'' and ''Salmonella''.<ref>[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/austria/10318084/Holy-water-unsafe-to-drink.html''Daily Telegraph'' (18 Sep 2013): Holy water 'unsafe to drink'.]</ref><ref>[http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/09/18/us-austria-water-idUSBRE98H0AG20130918 Reuters: Holy water at religious shrines and churches in Austria is often contaminated with fecal matter and bacteria (2013)]</ref> A 2012 study found that only 14% of holy springs in [[Austria]] met biological and chemical standards for drinking water. The study also found that most of the holy water samples from churches and hospital chapels had high levels of fecal contamination indicators (holy shit!), coliform bacteria (76%), ''Escherichia coli'' (38%), and Enterococci (32%).<ref>[http://www.iwaponline.com/jwh/010/0349/0100349.pdf Holy springs and holy water: underestimated sources of illness?] by Alexander K. T. Kirschner et al. ''J. Water Health'' 2012 Sep;10(3):349-57. doi: 10.2166/wh.2012.005.</ref> How often this affects hospital patients with weak immune systems is unknown.<ref>[http://abcnews.go.com/Health/study-holy-water-harmful-health/story?id=20257722 "Holy Water May be Harmful to Your Health, Study Finds"], Liz Fields, Sept. 14 2013, ''ABC''</ref>

==Sacramentality==
Most [[Protestant]] sects perform baptism as an ordinance, done merely because [[Jesus Christ|Jesus]] told his followers to do so. The Roman [[Roman Catholic Church|Catholic]], [[Church of England|Anglican]], [[Lutheranism|Lutheran]], and [[Eastern Orthodox Church|Eastern Orthodox]] churches hold to the principle of [[sacrament]]ality, which maintains that an [[Infinity|infinite]] [[God]] interfaces with finite [[human]] beings through things like water, [[oil]], and the laying on of hands, things which exist in [[fact]] rather than purely in the mindscape. Those Christians believe the water of baptism functions as a real channel of God's {{wpl|Redemption (theology)|redeeming}} [[grace]] during the ritual, which is the sacrament of belonging, replacing the [[circumcision]] rite practiced by the [[Hebrew]]s. Otherwise, the whole rite would just represent a typical infantilizing<ref>"Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 18:3.</ref> and humiliating initiation ceremony.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Aspergillum (PSF).png|Not a shower head, a holy water sprinkler
File:Holy_water_St_Teresa's_church_Clarendon_Street_Dublin_2006.jpg|It's holy because of where it comes from, not where it goes.
File:Lourdes collecting water 1.jpg|Holy water at Lourdes, [[France]]
File:Knock county Mayo Holy water pipe.jpg|Perhaps not so sanitary (Mayo, [[Ireland]])
File:Zamzam bottle.jpg|Bottled holy water from the Zamzam well in [[Mecca]], [[Saudi Arabia]]
File:Zamzamwill.JPG|Zamzam well in Mecca
File:VTEC + V Rev Michael Sadgrove 1.jpg|Blessing a Virgin
File:Small holy water vials.jpeg|Little vials of holy water, made freely available at a church.
</gallery>

==See also==
*[[Homeopathy]] - like ''cures'' like
*[[Jesus-only baptism]]
*[[Kabbalah water]]
*[[Raw water]] — the secular version
*[[Original sin]]
*[[Waterboarding]]
*[[Water woo]]

==External links==
*[http://www.infidels.org/library/historical/kersey_graves/16/chap26.html Origin of Baptism by Water, Fire, Blood and the Holy Ghost]
*[http://atheism.about.com/od/bibledictionaryonline/p/baptismbaptize.htm Baptism: What is Baptism? How does one Baptize? What does the Bible say?]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

[[Category:Christianity]]
[[Category:Religious terms]]
[[Category:Water woo]]

Categories: Christianity, Religious terms, Water woo