Steven Seagal

{{bronze}}[[File:Актёр Стивен Сигал, Владимир Путин и многократный чемпион мира по смешанным единоборствам Фёдор Емельяненко - 2.jpeg|thumb|200 px|Seagal visiting Putin in the {{wpl|Moscow Kremlin|''Belly of the Beast''|.}}]]{{uspolitics}}{{film|1}}{{cquote|Steven Seagal is so slow that they film most of his chase scenes with drawings. In fact, many art historians categorize ''Above the Law'' as a sculpture.|||Seanbaby<ref>Seanbaby, [http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-super-powers-of-steven-seagal-lawman/ Seven Super Powers That Steven Seagal Thinksen Seagal Interview"], ''The Portland Mercury'', May 25, 2006.</ref> activist and aspiring [[politician]].<ref>Judge Frederic Block. [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judge-frederic-block/steven-seagals-trip-to-co_b_3053100.html "Steven Seagal’s Trip to Court Against the Gambino Crime Family"], ''The Huffington Post'', Apr 16, 2013.</ref><ref>[[YouTube]]: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1an_E96PaI "Steven Seagal Worst Host Ever?"],  He Has], ''[[Cracked]]'' 10 December 2009.</ref>}}
'''Steven Frederic 
Seagull
 Seagal''' (born 1952 in [[Michigan]]) is an actor, 
[[martial art]]ist
 professional charlatan, musician,<ref name="another_interview">Adam Gnade. [http://www.portlandmercury.com/portland/kick-ass-the-steven-seagal-interview/Content?oid=39487 "Kick Ass: The Stev''[[The Huffington Post]]'', Jun 14, 2013.</ref><ref>Chris Palmquist. [http://www.mixedmartialarts.com/news/Gene-LeBell-talks-Steven-Seagal-s----ing-himself "Gene LeBell talks Steven Seagal s—-ing himself"], ''The Underground'', Mar 12, 2012.</ref> [[vegetarian]], (alleged) habitual sex offender,<ref name="marital_rape">Cristina Everett. [http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/steven-seagal-ex-wife-kelly-lebrock-constantly-raped-abused-life-article-1.165957 "Steven Seagal's ex-wife, Kelly LeBrock, says she was 'constantly raped and abused my whole life'"], ''NY Daily News'', Apr 22, 2010.</ref><ref>Miller, Carlin, [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/jenny-mccarthy-steven-seagal-told-me-to-strip-during-casting-call-for-under-siege-2/ "Jenny McCarthy: Steven Seagal Told Me to Strip During Casting Call for Under Siege 2"], CBS (15 April 2010, 10:28 AM).</ref> apologist for [[dictator]]s,<ref>[[YouTube]]: "Steven Seagal: Obama regime very good at controlling media propaganda" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOvY-MesvNg#t=23m30s @23:30], ''[[RT]]'', Nov 10, 2013.</ref> and "the biggest jerk" to ever host SNL.<ref>[http://snltranscripts.jt.org/92/92amono.phtml ''Saturday Night Live'' Transcripts, S18E01.]</ref> Most if not all of Seagal’s films revolve around evil plots perpetrated by elements of the U.S. Government. So he’s hardly in a position to point at others and yell ‘[[paranoia]].’<ref>[http://dlisted.com/2017/09/27/steven-seagal-gave-a-crazy-interview-on-british-tv/ "Steven Seagal Gave A Crazy Interview On British TV"], DListed 27 September 2017.</ref>

He's pretended to be every race under the sun: From [[Italy|Italian]], to faux-[[Japan]]ese, to "Iron Eyes Cody"-style [[Native American]], to a [[Russia]]n-accented Bond villain, and in what was his weirdest phrase of all, the world's blackest white boy. At one point he said he was [[CIA]] black ops,<ref>Michael Weiss. [http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/05/hard-to-shill-steven-seagal-in-chechnya/276364/ "Hard to Shill: Steven Seagal in Chechnya"], ''The Atlantic'', May 29, 2013.</ref> and then when people called him on that [[Bullshit|steaming pile]], he said he was the [[reincarnation]] of a [[Buddhist]] [[Tibet|holy man]].<ref name="pbs_interview">[http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/tibet/interviews/seagal.html Steven Seagal interview on Buddhism], PBS ''Frontline''. Retrieved Jul 28, 2016.</ref><ref>Penor Rinpoche. [http://www.palyul.org/docs/statement.html Statement by H.H. Penor Rinpoche Regarding the Recognition of Steven Seagal as a Reincarnation of the Treasure Revealer Chungdrag Dorje of Palyul Monastery]. 1999. Retrieved Jul 26, 2016.</ref> Then he changed to [[Captain Planet]]. He started to wear those frilly leather coats, alligator boots, and donning huge Indian medallions. Apparently no one told him that if you wear dead animals, you are not the next protector of the environment. And we haven’t even got to the [[Elvis]] fat years yet.

==Hollyweird==
{{cquote|Van Damme was tired of Seagal saying he could kick his ass and went right up to him and offered him the chance to step outside so he could wipe the floor with him, or should I say wipe the backyard with him. Seagal made some excuse and left. His destination was some Ocean Drive nightclub in Miami. Van Damme, who was completely berserk, tracked him down and again offered him a fight, and again Seagal pulled a Houdini.|||Sylvester Stallone}}

Steven started out surprisingly strong, considering his acting limitations. ''Under Siege'' wasn't too bad, despite the old joke that Steve wasn't really the star and that the battleship out-acted him. Despite the explicit content of his films, he has managed to maintain a near-[[pacifist]] image for most of his career of being ''A Good Man'' who is ''Out for Justice'' as an [[environmentalist]]<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20080802223433/http://www.medicinelakevideo.org/film.html Description of a pro-environmentalist film narrated by Steven Seagal]. 2001.</ref> and [[animal rights]] activist,<ref>Steven Seagal. [https://web.archive.org/web/20071203202518/http://www.chuaychangthai.com/Seagal_thailand.pdf Open letter to Thailand Prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra], Feb 07, 2003.</ref><ref>[http://www.aquezada.com/sarah/articles/prn083099.shtml Paul McCartney's World Exclusive Performance at PETA's Party Of The Century and Humanitarian Awards ], Sep 18, 1999.</ref><ref>Associated Press. [https://www.yahoo.com/movies/steven-seagal-adopts-stray-dog-romania-124754253.html "Steven Seagal 'adopts' stray dog in Romania"], Nov 18, 2013.</ref><ref name="another_interview" /> even paying money for the disposal of [[nuclear bomb|nuclear weapons]].<ref>[[YouTube]]: "Steven Seagal: Obama regime very good at controlling media propaganda" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOvY-MesvNg#t=22m22s @22:22], ''[[RT]]'', Nov 10, 2013.</ref>
Realizing the [[propaganda|propagandistic]] potential of being a bankable action star, his real-world [[philanthropy]] eventually found its way into his movies as a way to spread his message to a large audience.<ref name="pbs_interview" /> The most famous example is a movie with an environmentalist message where he plays an [[Ecoterrorism|ecoterrorist]] who happens to blow up an oil refinery on sea, mere minutes into the film.<ref name="cracked">[http://www.cracked.com/funny-45-steven-seagal/ Steven Seagal], ''[[Cracked.com]]''. Retrieved Jul 26, 2016.</ref>{{efn|[[hypocrisy|The ensuing environmental damage is never mentioned for the rest of the movie]].}} By the film's end, the main character gives a speech where the script moves ''On Deadly Ground'' cinematographically as Seagal keeps rambling about his ecological concerns for nearly '''four''' minutes straight.<ref>[[YouTube]]: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B0np_o1VBg Video of the speech in question] and [http://www.steven-seagal.net/xen/index.php?threads/on-deadly-ground-speech.154/ its transcript].</ref>

Another movie has his character battling an American [[extreme right]] [[militia movement]] that unleashes a deadly airborne [[virus]] which can only be cured by an [[herbal medicine]] [[Appeal to ancient wisdom|long known to]] the nearby-residing [[Native Americans]].<ref name="cracked" /> Both movies weren't popular with audiences and signaled a premature end of his success.

Before his film career could be ''Marked for Death'' around the turn of the millennium, Seagal wanted to seem hip to a younger, more urban generation and tried to capitalize on movies featuring [[Hip-hop|rappers]] with zero acting skills just like himself with the predictable mixed results at the box office. Since then his career could be considered ''Half Past Dead'' but his public persona is surprisingly ''Hard to Kill''. Seagal has unfortunately come out in supporting batshit crazy [[political]] positions like [[Billy Corgan|other]] [[Jon Voight|washed-up]] [[Chuck Norris|celebrities]] of [[Jesse Ventura|yesteryear]], which [[Horseshoe theory|seem at odds]] with his aforementioned [[moonbat]]tery.

Seagal began to [[Delusions of grandeur|believe his own press]]. On the set of a movie, he challenged a stuntman, who is a black belt in judo, to try to choke him out. Seagal claimed to be impervious to the technique. ([[Mall ninja|He was wrong.]])<ref name="Lebell">Mancini, Vince, [http://uproxx.com/filmdrunk/jude-gene-lebell-confirms-choking-steven-seagal-until-seagal-pooped-himself/ "Judo Gene Lebell Confirms Choking Steven Seagal Until Seagal Pooped Himself"], Uproxx 12 March 2012.</ref> John Leguizamo, who co-starred in ''Executive Decision'', said that during rehearsals Seagal sauntered onto the set and arrogantly declared "[[Dictator|I'm in command, what I say is law, anyone not agree?]]", which understandably caused Leguizamo to laugh in his face. Seagal then took it upon himself to cheap-shot Leguizamo, a guy half his size.<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB1RvU8UR38 John Leguizamo Slams Steven Seagal], Q TV.</ref> He applied for a permit to carry a concealed weapon, and allegedly had a tuxedo tailored so that he could sneak guns into the Oscars. As his popularity grew, so did his paranoia. He spoke of people who were out to get him,<ref>Blumenthal, Ralph, [http://www.mixedmartialarts.com/vault/exotics/steven-seagal-talks-on-strangers-trying-to-test-him-in-bars "A Mafia Case, And a Scene Straight Out Of Hollywood"], [[NYT]] 13 July 2002.</ref> and according to ''Vanity Fair'', on one occasion he offered an ex-CIA operative named Robert Strickland $50,000 in cash to kill someone. Strickland had been working with Seagal on an original film project, which never got off the ground. Strickland later sued Seagal for co-opting aspects of his life story and passing them off as his own.<ref>Tye, Doug, [https://medium.com/the-shocker/the-shocker-celebrity-beat-is-steven-seagal-a-threat-to-your-freedom-5b069817282f "Is Steven Segal a Threat to Your Freedom?"], ''Medium'' September 2016.</ref>

The years have not been kind to Seagal. It seems that he's blown all his cash to feed his Ding-Dong habit, as you'll notice if you pick up anything of his since ''Exit Wounds''. He's so tubby in ''Half Past Dead'' that almost every shot of him is in extreme zoom so you can't see his paunch. The few times you do see him from the neck-down, he's in gigantic baggy prison chinos and sporting a hilarious do-rag. But in truth, Steven's stuntman gets most of the camera time, and if he were to seriously try any of that Aikido shit anymore, he'd defecate himself all over again.<ref name="Lebell" />

==''Submerged'' (in international disputes)==
{{Cquote|Many of the people in America love Vladimir Putin|||Steven Seagal believing he shares his mancrush on Putin with the US public<ref>[[YouTube]]: "Steven Seagal: Obama regime very good at controlling media propaganda" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOvY-MesvNg#t=3m02s @3:02], ''[[RT]]'', Nov 10, 2013.</ref>}}
{{Cquote|I'm seeing [[CNN]] constantly slamming Putin|||Steven Seagal while being interviewed on [[RT]] which in turn does the same with Obama<ref>[[YouTube]]: "Steven Seagal: Obama regime very good at controlling media propaganda" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOvY-MesvNg#t=8m15s @8:15], ''[[RT]]'', Nov 10, 2013.</ref>}}

Because if we should believe his statements on [[Barack Obama]], the [[POTUS]] is ''A Dangerous Man'' as he bemoans his repeated use of ''Executive Decision''s<ref name="obama_impeach">[[YouTube]]: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWZ4HPAdTew "Steven Seagal: If The Truth Came Out, Obama Would Be Impeached"], ''Western Journalism'', Feb 26, 2014.</ref> and believes if the truth about [[Benghazi]] came to light, [[Obama]] would have been [[impeach]]ed a long time ago.<ref name="obama_impeach" /> While he and fellow [[Republicans]] don't agree with Obama's supposedly [[authoritarian]] governing style,<ref>[[YouTube]]: "Steven Seagal: Obama regime very good at controlling media propaganda" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOvY-MesvNg#t=7m15s @7:15], ''[[RT]]'', Nov 10, 2013.</ref> Seagal is enamored with [[Vladimir Putin]] as a statesman [[hypocrisy|because he simply gets shit done when necessary]].<ref name="vice_bromance" /> Both men have become close through their shared love of martial arts,<ref name="from_putin_with_love" /> Eastern philosophy and ancient barbaric warlords.<ref name="vice_bromance">Sarah Kurchak. [http://fightland.vice.com/blog/to-russia-with-love-the-martial-arts-fueled-bromance-between-steven-seagal-and-vladimir-putin "The Martial Arts-Fueled Bromance Between Steven Seagal and Vladimir Putin"], ''Vice'', Jun 01, 2015.</ref> Not only does he consider Putin a "brother"<ref>David Ferguson. [http://www.rawstory.com/2014/03/steven-seagal-favors-putin-over-obama-and-says-he-may-emigrate-to-russia/ "Steven Seagal favors Putin over Obama and says he may emigrate to Russia"], ''[[RawStory]]'', Mar 29, 2014</ref> but also describes him as "one of the greatest world leaders if not the greatest world leader alive today."<ref name="from_putin_with_love" /><ref name="vice_bromance" /> His creepy love for 
the Czar
 Putin has gone so far as having become an unpaid [[PR]] agent for the [[Russian]] government once displaying his 
completed brain-washing
 expertise on international issues when he talked about "[[Ukraine|Ooh-Chryne]]"<ref>[[YouTube]]: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nl8rgWUgmR8 "Steven Seagal: Some should do homework before covering Ukraine"], ''[[RT]]'', Mar 09, 2014.</ref> which also might be a reason why he has no qualms about [[Crimea]] being ''Under Siege'' by Russia which he deems a "reasonable" policy.<ref name="from_putin_with_love">Ben Child. [https://www.theguardian.com/film/2014/mar/28/steven-seagal-vladimir-putin-ukraine "Steven Seagal: Vladimir Putin is one of the 'great world leaders'"], ''[[The Guardian]]'', Mar 28, 2014.</ref> To assure that everybody got the memo of his approval for the takeover of the peninsula, Seagal attended a Russian nationalist bike show in celebration of the annexation.<ref>Max Seddon. [https://www.buzzfeed.com/maxseddon/russian-motorbike-gang-tells-the-conflict-in-ukraine?utm_term=.xfvQvDgx0#.wm3v3OnJ6 "This Pro-Putin Bike Show Is A Trashy Neo-Soviet 'Triumph Of The Will' Remake], ''BuzzFeed'', Aug 11, 2014.</ref> Seagal was banned from Ukraine in 2017 for five years as a national security threat.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/05/06/amid-putin-bromance-steven-seagal-banned-from-ukraine-as-national-security-threat/ Amid Putin 'bromance,' Steven Seagal banned from Ukraine as national security threat] by Amy B Wang (May 6, 2017) ''The Washington Post''.</ref>

The bromance is not one-sided though as Putin's trust in Seagal is allegedly so big that he apparently told Obama to appoint Seagal as an intermediary between the White House and the Kremlin during a 2015 G8 summit,<ref>Andrew Pulver. [https://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/apr/22/putin-proposed-steven-seagal-as-russian-envoy-to-us "Putin proposed Steven Seagal as Russian envoy to US"], ''The Guardian'', Apr 22, 2015</ref> a proposal which was expectedly met with derision by the US government.<ref name="vice_bromance" /> With his first choice rejected as a potential diplomat, Putin sees other ways that Seagal can help Russia as he considers reviving an abandoned physical evaluation program from the [[Soviet]] era where Russian schoolchildren need to endure physical fitness tests. Seagal would be at the helm of this program.<ref>Ann Oldenburg. [http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2014/03/27/steven-seagal-hails-brother-vladimir-putin/6951775/ "Steven Seagal praises 'brother' Vladimir Putin"], ''USA Today'', Mar 27, 2014</ref> Putin finally made Seagal a special envoy to the US in 2018 during the [[Donald Trump|Trump]] administration.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2018/08/04/russia-just-named-steven-seagal-martial-artist-and-action-movie-star-a-special-envoy-to-the-u-s/ Russia just named Steven Seagal, martial artist and action movie star, a special envoy to the U.S.] by Siobhán O'Grady (August 4, 2018 at 6:05 PM) ''The Washington Post''.</ref>

Feeling homely with Putin's hospitality, Seagal doesn't want to be considered ''The Foreigner'' any longer. He became a [[Serbia]]n and a Russian citizen, both in 2016<ref>[https://www.rt.com/news/328583-steven-seagal-serbian-citizenship/ "Steven Seagal gets Serbian citizenship"], ''RT'', Jan 12, 2016</ref> promising to "bring Hollywood to Serbia"<ref>[http://europe.newsweek.com/steven-seagal-vows-bring-hollywood-serbia-after-getting-citizenship-415585?rm=eu "Steven Seagal Vows to ‘Bring Hollywood to Serbia’ After Getting His Citizenship"], ''Newsweek'', Jan 14, 2016</ref> while not having abandoned his previous plans of becoming Putin's compatriot.<ref>[https://www.yahoo.com/news/us-tough-guy-steven-seagal-gets-serbian-citizenship-100827329.html?ref=gs "US tough guy Steven Seagal gets Serbian citizenship: state TV"], ''[[Yahoo! News]]'', Jan 11, 2016</ref><ref>[https://www.reuters.com/article/us-russia-putin-seagull/russias-putin-grants-russian-citizenship-to-u-s-actor-seagal-idUSKBN12Y0W1 Russia's Putin grants Russian citizenship to U.S. actor Seagal] (November 3, 2016 / 2:30 AM) ''Reuters''.</ref><ref name=afp>[https://www.yahoo.com/news/putin-grants-action-star-steven-seagal-russian-citizenship-101618186.html Putin grants action star Steven Seagal Russian citizenship] (November 3, 2016) ''AFP'' via Yahoo News.</ref> Don't forget that Seagal is not Putin's poodle, but "He was asking quite insistently and over a lengthy period to be granted citizenship," according to Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov.<ref name=afp/>

Unsurprisingly, as a Kremlin spokesman and lapdog, Seagal has been used to spread pro-Russian [[propaganda]] on Russian state media during the [[Ukraine#Russian invasion of Ukraine|Russian invasion of Ukraine.]]<ref>[https://www.businessinsider.com/steven-seagal-travels-to-occupied-ukraine-spreads-russia-propaganda-2022-8 "Russia sent Steven Seagal to occupied Ukraine to spread propaganda, part of his role as a Kremlin spokesman"] by Mia Jankowicz, Business Insider, 2022 August 10</ref>

==''Above the Law''==
{{Cquote|The main reason I wanted to do this because I saw in life bad guys who thought they were so big and so bad and so tough that they could murder and rape and rob and pillage and get away with it. And I wanted to say: Wait a minute, there's other guys out there that are just tough or tougher than you and just as ugly or uglier than you.|||Steven Seagal on becoming an honorary 
pig
 police officer<ref>[[YouTube]]: "Steven Seagal: Obama regime very good at controlling media propaganda" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOvY-MesvNg#t=15m45s @15:45], ''[[RT]]'', Nov 10, 2013.</ref>}}

Seagal was an alleged cop{{efn|Seagal claimed to have a certificate from Peace Officer Standards & Training (POST), which accredits police officers. POST officials claimed that they had no record of the certificate.<ref name=glover>[http://articles.latimes.com/2009/dec/02/entertainment/la-et-lawman2-2009dec02 Steven Seagal gets to play cop: The A & E show 'Lawman' asserts that the action hero is a legitimate officer.] by Scott Glover (December 02, 2009) ''Los Angeles Times''.</ref> Seagal's rank as deputy sheriff in [[Louisiana]] is only ceremonial.<ref name=glover/>}} years before he became an actor and kept working as one even when he made millions letting his stuntman kick ass on screen. This has resulted in turning his secret day job into a reality TV show.<ref>Dave Walker. [http://blog.nola.com/davewalker/2008/11/steven_seagals_secret_life_as.html "Steven Seagal's secret life as a Jefferson Parish cop"], ''The Times-Picayune'', Nov 24, 2008</ref> Seagal was invited to Phoenix by the notorious closet-racist sheriff [[Joe Arpaio]], where he would continue his decades-spanning law enforcement career while filming a new season of his reality TV show.<ref name="abc_lawman">[[YouTube]]: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqA3UoMH4yY "Steven Seagal teams up with Arizona law enforcement ], ''ABC15 Arizona'', Jan 02, 2014.</ref>

When forced to address Arpaio's terrible record on [[race]], Seagal responded that his sheriff buddy doesn't hate [[Mexicans]] because 99 percent of the people on his team [[friend argument|are actually Mexicans]]{{efn|Which can presumably only be of the [[Uncle Tom]] variety.}} and assures that most of the people they arrest are not even Mexican as they do not care if someone they legitimately apprehend is "Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, German [or] Dutch", suspiciously omitting a whole slew of minorities living in the US in his enumeration.<ref name="az_gov" />

In one of the more absurd moments of his silly show, Seagal arrived at the scene of an alleged cockfighting ring. Using ''Force of Execution'', he damaged the accused man's residence by driving a tank into one of its gates. In the process 115 roosters, which he pretended saving, plus a pet puppy, eventually succumbed to the ''Exit Wounds'' caused by the belligerent operation of Seagal and his [[Paramilitary woo|paramilitaristic]] team of voluntaries.<ref>[[YouTube]]: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6qusjlTsnQ "Steven Seagal Takes Down 115 Cocks"], ''[[The Young Turks]]'', Mar 25, 2011.</ref><ref>''The Hollywood Reporter''. [https://www.yahoo.com/tv/steven-seagal-threatened-lawsuit-over-police-raid-taped-192501428.html "Steven Seagal Threatened With Lawsuit Over Police Raid Taped for Reality Show (Report)"], ''[[Yahoo! News]]'', Aug 30, 2011</ref> Afterwards Seagal, the vegetarian animal rights activist, commented cynically that animal cruelty was one of his pet peeves<ref>Sofia M. Fernandez. [http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/steven-seagal-arrives-police-bust-170626 "Steven Seagal Arrives for Police Bust in Tank (Video)"], ''The Hollywood Reporter'', Mar 23, 2011</ref> while later being appalled at the accusation of having killed a dog during the bust.<ref name="no_killer">Ree Hines. [http://www.today.com/popculture/steven-seagal-denies-role-dogs-death-1C9380867 "Steven Seagal denies role in dog's death"], ''Today.com'', Sep 02, 2011</ref> Arpaio came to Seagal's defense by more or less stating 'pics or it didn't happen.'<ref name="no_killer" />

==Not ''Above the Law''==
In 2018, Seagall promoted a purported [[cryptocurrency]] named Bitcoiin2Gen, purportedly "superior" to Bitcoin.<ref>[https://cointelegraph.com/news/zen-master-steven-seagal-confirms-he-is-face-of-new-superior-coin-bitcoiin2gen "‘Zen Master’ Steven Seagal Confirms He Is Face Of New ‘Superior’ Coin Bitcoiin2Gen"] by Molly Jane Zuckerman, Cointelgraph, 2018 February 18</ref> This ended up being a complete scam to the term of $11 million.<ref>[https://www.infosecurity-magazine.com/news/man-charged-11m-crypto-steven/ "Man Charged in $11m Crypto Scheme that Featured Steven Seagal"] by Phil Muncaster, Infosecurity Magazine, 2021 February 2</ref> In February 2020, Seagall was fined over $300,000 by the {{wpl|U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission|SEC}} for failure to disclose that he was paid to promote and endorse this cryptocurrency.<ref>[https://www.sec.gov/news/press-release/2020-42 "Actor Steven Seagal Charged With Unlawfully Touting Digital Asset Offering"], U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, 2020 February 27</ref><ref>[https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSFWN2AR161/ "Actor Steven Seagal to pay over $300,000 for unlawfully touting crypto offering -SEC"] by Reuters, 2020 February 27</ref>

==''The End of a Gun''==
{{Cquote|I believe in the [[Second Amendment]] in the [[United States Constitution|Constitution]] more than anything in the world.|||Practicing Buddhist Steven Seagal who has a black belt in Aikido.<ref name="inquisitr" />}}

Being ''The Patriot'' he is, Seagal is a staunch defender of the Second Amendment and utterly hates [[gun control]], spewing the same old tired [[conservative]] canard of "guns don't kill people, people kill people"<ref>[[YouTube]]: "Steven Seagal: Obama regime very good at controlling media propaganda" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOvY-MesvNg#t=17m40s @17:40], ''[[RT]]'', Nov 10, 2013.</ref> especially "[[Insanity|mentally insane people]]."<ref name="inquisitr">Stacey Cole. [http://http://www.inquisitr.com/2990604/steven-seagal-says-its-poor-parenting-not-violent-movies-that-causes-crime/ "Steven Seagal says it's poor parenting, not violent movies, that causes Crime"], ''Inquisitr'', Apr 13, 2016.</ref> Seagal is aware of the US being the home of the mass shootings but believes all of these atrocities to be [[false flag operation]]s with the intent to create unbearable restrictions for gun owners.<ref> Sophie McAdam. [http://http://www.trueactivist.com/steven-seagal-mass-shootings-are-engineered-by-u-s-government "Steven Seagal: Mass Shootings Are 'Engineered' By U.S Government"], ''True Activist'', Oct 13, 2015.</ref> The half-baked solutions he offers to combat rampages are having armed guards at every single school<ref>[[YouTube]]: "Steven Seagal: Obama regime very good at controlling media propaganda" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOvY-MesvNg#t=19m51s @19:51], ''[[RT]]'', Nov 10, 2013.</ref> ([[irony|because we all know that shootings only take place in schools]]) and [[dog whistle|better parenting]].<ref name="inquisitr" />

On the question if his movies might have contributed to mass shootings, he doesn't believe that graphic depictions can affect people, citing [[Japan]] as an example which has the most violent movies in the world yet has the fewest murders.<ref name="inquisitr" />
What Seagal conveniently omits from this comparison is the fact that firearms are ''Out of Reach'' for most Japanese people as the country has probably the strictest gun laws in the world.<ref>[https://www.loc.gov/law/help/firearms-control/japan.php Firearms-Control Legislation and Policy: Japan]. Retrieved Jul 26, 2016.</ref><ref>Max Fisher, [http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2012/07/a-land-without-guns-how-japan-has-virtually-eliminated-shooting-deaths/260189/ "A Land Without Guns: How Japan Has Virtually Eliminated Shooting Deaths"], ''The Atlantic'', Jul 23, 2012.</ref>

Even when it comes to guns, Seagal finds ways to help out his "brother" Putin, becoming a [[lobbyist]] for the Russian arms industry which hopes he can lift restrictions on the sale of their products inside the US,<ref>Max Fisher. [http://en.ria.ru/world/20130320/180125282/Rogozin-Goes-to-Hollywood-for-Help-With-Rifle-Exports.html "Russia Asks Hollywood’s Seagal for Help With Rifle Exports"], ''Sputnik International'', Mar 03, 2013.</ref> which seems to involve becoming a complete sellout by appearing in ads marketing Russian guns to US customers.<ref>Emily Lodish. [http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/culture-lifestyle/entertainment/130606/steven-seagal-russia-arms-trade "Steven Seagal: International man of mystery"], ''Global Post'', Jun 07, 2013.</ref><ref>Orsis — News: [http://en.orsis.com/about/news/87172/ "'ORSIS rifle by Steven Seagal' is going to be manufactured in Russia"], Oct 10, 2014.</ref>

==''Born to Raise Hell'' (for women)==
{{Cquote|Me want tha poonani.|20px|20px|Steven Seagal while [[cultural appropriation|performing one of his songs]].<ref name="vice_lame">Jamie Lee Curtis Taete. [http://www.vice.com/read/steven-seagal-is-the-lamest-guy-ever "Steven Seagal Is the Lamest Guy Ever"], ''Vice'', Dec 22, 2013.</ref>}}

Allegedly one former wife was constantly forced to [[marital rape|perform her duties while they were married]]<ref name="marital_rape" />, and other women, if famous, were sexually harassed<ref>Kyle Buchanan. [http://movieline.com/2010/04/16/exclusive-the-full-steven-seagal-story-jenny-mccarthy-told-movieline-in-1998/ "EXCLUSIVE: The Full Steven Seagal Story Jenny McCarthy Told Movieline in 1998"], ''Movieline'', Apr 16, 2010.</ref> and poor unknown "assistants" became his sex slaves.<ref>[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8619574.stm "Steven Seagal sued for sexual assault"], ''BBC'', Apr 14, 2010.</ref> Seagal at least denies the later events but only because the wife never sued. He averted a ''Maximum Conviction'' by settling out of court with the other women. These affairs should give you a fair idea what Steven Seagal's ''Code of Honor'' looks like. And other women have since come forward in 2017 with allegations of sexual harassment by Seagal.<ref>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-watch/wp/2017/10/13/steven-seagal-drug-warrior-honorary-cop-alleged-serial-sex-abuser/ Steven Seagal: Drug warrior, honorary cop, alleged serial sex abuser] by Radley Balko (October 13, 2017 at 1:13 PM) ''The Washington Post''.</ref>

==''Into the Sun''==
[[File:Shadow Wolves cover.jpg|thumb|right|Yes, this is an actual book.]]
Working alongside Arpaio, Seagal realized that America's most pressing problem was [[illegal immigration|its open borders]]<ref name="abc_lawman" /> which let Arpaio talk him into considering running for governor of [[Arizona]] in 2014.<ref>''Associated Press''. [http://www.politico.com/story/2014/01/steven-seagal-arizona-governor-101751 "Seagal may run for Ariz. governor"], ''Politico'', Jan 04, 2014.</ref> In the end he declined to run as he thinks that it's more important to be a peacemaker than the leader of a state.<ref>Christopher Brennan. [https://themoscowtimes.com/news/movie-star-seagal-backs-russias-actions-in-crimea-33340 "Seagal Backs Russia's Actions in Crimea"], ''The Moscow Times'', Mar 27, 2014.</ref> The other reason for his no-show at the {{wpl|2014 Arizona gubernatorial election}} was that he hadn't been registered as a person residing in the state for the necessary duration of five years; however he wouldn't rule out running during the next election as he genuinely believes he'd have a legitimate shot at winning.<ref name="az_gov">[[YouTube]]: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUOOGowngVs "Steven Seagal on U.S. Diplomacy and Plans to Run for Arizona Governor"], ''[[RT]] America'', Feb 11, 2014</ref> What Seagal doesn't realize is the possibility of a contender having a field day running against him if that potential candidate was savvy enough to dredge up his past. Not only could his [[moonbat]]ty characteristics be used against him as a "[[RINO|fake conservative]]", he also has the misfortune of being a [[useful idiot|friend]] of America's arch-enemy Putin, working with Russian arms dealers, not to mention his unsavory history with women. He could fend off these attacks by using his [[Zen]]-like aura of sincerity, but whether that is really any equal to the authoritarian charisma of [[Donald Trump|another person with similar issues]] has to be seen.

In 2019, he self-published ''The Way of the Shadow Wolves: The Deep State and the Hijacking of America'', a book co-written with Tom Morrissey, the former chair of the Arizona Republican Party, with a foreword from Arpaio. The book promotes conspiracy-mongering about the [[deep state]], fear-mongering about immigration, and [[Indian woo|Native American woo]], and is just really incompetently written in general, with such wonderfully written lines as "What he had going for him was that being Native American, they could not violate their political correctness position" and "So the name is Gode? That’s it? She leaned forward, exposing her ample breasts to John as her blouse fell away from her body far enough to bring them into his view."<ref>[https://www.nathanrabin.com/happy-place/2018/1/2/literature-society-steven-seagals-the-way-of-the-shadow-wolves-the-deep-state-and-the-hijacking-of-america Exploiting The Joy of Trash: Steven Seagal's The Way Of The Shadow Wolves is a Delirious Right Wing Fever Dream That Must Be Read to Be Disbelieved], ''Nathan Rabin'' 1 March 2022</ref> Even the ''front cover'' is laughably terrible, with it featuring a poorly photoshopped picture of Seagal as the protagonist, who is supposed to be Native American by the way but that's okay because the back says that [[PIDOOMA|Seagal has Mohawk ancestry]]! The worst part about it is, according to Morrissey, they are making a ''sequel''.<ref>[https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/read-the-most-insane-parts-of-seagals-novel-endorsed-by-arpaio-10005023 Endorsed by Arpaio: The 9 Most Insane Parts of Steven Seagal's Novel], Joseph Flaherty, ''Phoenix New Times'' 3 January 2018</ref>

==See also==
*[[Billy Jack]], a late-1960s and 1970s series of movies about a moonbat half-Navajo martial artist and [[Vietnam War]] veteran. Sounding familiar?

==External links==
*If you believe this article has treated Seagal harshly and unfairly, console yourself by reading [http://thedissolve.com/features/you-might-also-like/582-in-urban-justice-steven-seagal-is-out-for-vaguely-/ this excellent review of his movie ''Urban Justice''].
*[http://www.wikihow.com/Act-Like-Steven-Seagal Stey-by-step guide on becoming like Steven Seagal]
*[http://www.pajiba.com/celebrities_are_better_than_you/steven-seagal-may-have-just-given-the-worst-reddit-ama-of-all-time.php Summary of Seagal's Reddit AMA]
*[https://www.reddit.com/r/stevenseagalfacts/ True facts about Steven Seagal]

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|2|80%}}

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Categories: Actors, Animal rights, Authors, Conspiracy theorists, Cryptocurrency, Cultural appropriation, Environmentalism, Film-makers, Gun control, Jews, Living people, Machismo, Native American woo, Political activists, Sexists, Vatniks