Mollusc

[[File:Helix pomatia june01.JPG|thumb|right|165px|A snail (''Helix pomatia'') in nature]]
{{biology}}
'''Molluscs''' (literally, "thin shell";<ref>http://www.thefreedictionary.com/mollusk</ref> '''mollusks''' in [[United States|American]] English) are a large and diverse [[Linnaean taxonomy|phylum]] of invertebrate [[animal]]s, that bear a (internal or external) calcareous '''mantle''' which forms a cavity that the anus and [[penis|genit]][[cunt|alia]] both open into.<ref>[https://manoa.hawaii.edu/exploringourfluidearth/biological/invertebrates/phylum-mollusca Phylum Mollusca], ''Exploring our Fluid Earth''</ref> The phylum Mollusca includes bivalves (cockles, mussels, oysters, scallops, and clams), gastropods (limpets, abalone, snails, and slugs), the bright kids on the block, cephalopods (nautiluses, octopuses, squid, and cuttlefish), and a few other smaller groups like chitons and tusk shells.

== Fossil record ==
[[File:Ammonite-fossil-25-45mm.jpg|thumb|right|165px|A fossil of an {{wpl|ammonite||,}} an iconic extinct cephalopod.]]
''See also the [[Cambrian explosion]].''
The molluscs' [[fossil record]] is well established up to the [[Cambrian explosion|Cambrian]], some 525 million years ago. Within the Cambrian period, the first primitive bivalves, cephalopods, and gastropods appeared, although these ancestral creatures [[evolution|evolved]] into all sorts of beautiful forms. The abundance of molluscs, including the extinct ammonoids, make them good index fossils for correlating the ages of rocks.<ref group=note>No, this is not [[circular reasoning]]. [http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/dating.html#Circularity]</ref> Although the origin of the molluscs is muddled by its appearance at the beginning of the Phanerozoic Æon, there are still a couple plausible contenders for the title of the founder of the phylum. For some time, it was believed that ''{{wpl|Kimberella||'',}} one of the few Ediacaran true bilaterians (other "bilateral" Ediacarans" had their sides off-set from each other), could be an ancestor of the molluscs, given its soft shell and what was believed to be a mollusc-like feeding trace. Shells appeared many times independently, though, and ''Kimberella'' s traces are inconsistent with a molluscan affinity.<ref>[vantsov, A. Yu. "[http://link.springer.com/article/10.1134%2FS0031030110120105 Paleontological Evidence for the Supposed Precambrian Occurrence of Mollusks - Springer.]" Paleontological Evidence for the Supposed Precambrian Occurrence of Mollusks - Springer. N.p., 01 Dec. 2010. Web. 14 Feb. 2013.</ref><ref>Ivantsov, A. Yu. "[http://link.springer.com/article/10.1134%2FS003103010906001X New Reconstruction of Kimberella, Problematic Vendian Metazoan - Springer.]" New Reconstruction of Kimberella, Problematic Vendian Metazoan - Springer. N.p., 01 Oct. 2009. Web. 14 Feb. 2013.</ref> Despite this, there are still some plausible ancestors (or close relatives thereof) of the ancestral mollusc. These include the {{wpl|halkieriids||,}} which show a mix of mollusc-like attributes with those of annelids, brachiopods, and others, actually showing a fossilised relationship between members of different phyla of animal. The Cambrian also hosted primitive molluscs such as ''Wiwaxia''. In no sense did the molluscs appear from thin air "complete with holes in their socks".

== Cephalopods ==
[[File:Evolution eye.svg|left|thumb|On the left is the eye of a vertebrate. On the right is the eye of an octopus. Notice the one on the right doesn't have a '''big fucking blind spot right in the middle of the retina''' (conveniently labelled with a "4").]]

The '''cephalopods''' (literally, "head foot" as they have arms/tentacles/whatever round their head) are incredibly significant for two reasons. The history of the cephalopods stretch back as far back as the Upper [[Cambrian]],<ref>[http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00206816509474800#preview Late Cambrian nautiloids of the Malyy Karatau]</ref> and they are still an incredibly successful group today. The [[fossil record]] of the inkfish mainly consists of the hard-shelled relatives of the modern ''Nautilus'', and demonstrates how the nautilus' shell grew coiled and chambered in beautiful transitions. The nautiloids and ammonoids are incredibly common fossils throughout geologic time.

=== Intelligence ===
The other group of extant cephalopods beside the nautilus are the squid, octopodes,<ref group=note>Obscure but technically correct plural of "octopus". If you're looking for a grammar Nazi's favourite topic in taxonomy, please go to {{wpl|Octopus#Etymology_and_pluralisation|the big wiki|.}}</ref> and cuttlefish, collectively '''coleoids'''. These groups are distinguished from the nautilus by having their shell on the inside or not having a shell at all. Many members of the subclass are highly intelligent, including the octopus and cuttlefish. Some octopodes are able to build shelters out of coconuts, use Portuguese men-of-war tentacles as weapons,<ref>http://tolweb.org/tree?group=Tremoctopus&contgroup=Argonautoid_families</ref> [[Paul the Octopus|predict the future]], and even [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5DyBkYKqnM steal a diver's video camera and run off with it while it's filming.] This shows that you don't need to have warm blood or a skull to be intelligent.

=== Eyes ===
Another interesting feature of the cephalopods are their [[eye]]s. The nautilus bears a primitive "pinhole camera" eye<ref>http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jez.1402050106/abstract</ref> that is an intermediate transition between the common light-sensitive cup in many lower animals and the more complex eyes of vertebrates and coleoids.

Speaking of the coleoids' eyes, the eyes of the octopus are far superior to those of a vertebrate (including [[human]]s). This is simply one of the many [[convergent evolution|analogous]] eyes that have evolved throughout the animal kingdom; although the octopodes and vertebrates both have "camera-type" eyes, they developed their eyes completely separately, and frankly, the octopus got the better eye:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Vertebrate !! Octopus
|-
| Light-sensitive cells in back of retina || Light-sensitive cells in front of retina
|-
| "Infrastructure" (neurone wiring, processors; blood vessels; &c) in front of light-sensitive part of retina, providing gauntlet light must pass through || "Infrastructure" behind light-sensitive cells, meaning light isn't intercepted unnecessarily
|-
| Neurones and blood vessels leave eye through big blind spot in the middle of the retina due to shitty wiring (see above) || Neurones and blood vessels leave eye from behind, so no special hole is needed
|-
| Eye forms from brain outgrowth, making disease-susceptible cornea necessary || Eye forms from skin invagination, meaning cornea is not needed
|-
| Lens changes shape to focus light on retina, allowing for myopia and far-sightedness || Lens changes distance from retina to focus light, negating the causes of myopia and far-sightedness
|- 
| Eyes '''cannot''' detect light polarisation || Eyes '''can''' detect light polarisation
|-
|}

== Consumption by man ==
The eating of shellfish (aquatic molluscs and [[crustacean]]s) is strictly forbidden in the [[Bible]], by [[Leviticus]] 11:9-12,<ref>http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=leviticus%2011:9-11:12;&version=9;</ref> which identifies all aquatic creatures without fins and scales as an [[abomination]].  This may have been for health reasons, since poorly cooked, or out-of season seafood, can cause food poisoning (especially when the "red tide" is blooming). Nevertheless, shellfish remain forbidden in [[kosher]] and [[Halal]] cuisine,  and the diets of a few [[Christian]] sects, such as [[Seventh-day Adventism|Seventh Day Adventists]], and is the endless source of [[homophobia|homophobic]] [[fundamentalism|fundamentalist]] [[Poe's law|parodies]].

== $cientology ==
{{cquote|I like clams I like Clams<BR>
They're mushy<BR>
They make me feel like a man<BR>
They make me feel like a man|||The band Harm Farm<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKhm5ol00fk "Clams" by Harm Farm] ''YouTube''.</ref>}}
According to [[L. Ron Hubbard]]'s [[amphetamine]]-fueled ''History Of Man'' (1952),<ref>''Scientology: A History Of Man: A List and Description of the Principal Incidents to be Found in a Human Being'' by L. Ron Hubbard (1952) Hubbard Association of Scientologist.</ref>{{rp|45-48}} and hence to initiated [[Scientology|$cientologists]], clams are a direct evolutionary ancestor of [[human]]s, who have subliminally retained memories of the emotional experience of being a clam that was indecisive on whether to open its shell or not.<ref>See [http://www.xenu.net/clam_faq.html The Clam FAQ]</ref>  Critics point out that this is very, very silly, and contradicted by modern evidence like the fossil record (see above), although as clams are brainless, there may be a valid connection with Scientology.<ref group=note>Allegedly, m'lud.</ref>

==See also==
*[[God hates shrimp]]: Molluscs are BFFs with the crustaceans, who are also hated by [[YHWH]].

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|2}}

[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Evolution]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Zoology]]

Categories: Animals, Evolution, Food, Zoology