Candida

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[[File:Candida_albicans.jpg|thumb|right|165px|The '''common thrush yeast''' ''Candida albicans'', shown here at 200x magnification.]]
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'''''Candida''''', according to [[science|medical texts]], is a [[Linnaean taxonomy|genus]] of yeast which can grow in the intestine, and is, by and large, totally harmless. ''Candida'' is only potentially harmful when the immune system of its host is weakened, such as during sickness or immuno-deficiency, causing '''thrush''', [[STD|yeast infections]] (of genitalia), and, rarely, other forms of {{wpl|Candidiasis||.}} Being a [[fungus]], thrush blooms can easily be dealt with via fungicides, although the recently identified species ''Candida auris'' has attracted concern due to its innate resistance to multiple antifungal agents, the difficulty in distinguishing it from other forms of ''Candida'', and its tendency to cause outbreaks in hospitals and other health care settings as a result of its ability to spread via contaminated surfaces and greater risk of invading the bloodstream (much like MRSA).<ref>https://www.cdc.gov/fungal/candida-auris/index.html</ref> Antibiotics tend to exacerbate yeast infections, because they kill the [[bacteria]] (and indeed, antibiotics by nature ''only'' work on bacteria) that normally compete with the yeasts for living space in the human body.

However, a [[Google]] search shows that the "[[Alternative medicine|Alternative Medical Community]]" thinks something entirely different about the little yeasts. To these [[quack]]s, ''Candida'' [[Treat the cause, not the symptom|causes a range of vague, non-specific, and commonplace "symptoms"]] to a "disease" also called "candida" (not to be confused with aforementioned actual candidasis/thrush). "Treatment", as with most [[woo]], is generally in the form of 
Doctor Zappa's Magical Elixir
 some specific and expensive [[herbal supplements|herbal product]] that you can only get in "pure, natural quality" from one specific vendor.

==Woo==
Like most woo, the more generic the symptoms, the more "proof" you have of a cure. Got a simple headache?  Must be ''Candida'', and our pill taken within minutes of the headache will stop it (as effective as sitting around in pain for half an hour!). Tired when you wake up? ''Candida'', and our drug will surely make you [[placebo effect|feel better]]. ''Candida'', per the woo-meisters, causes "common gastrointestinal problems", rashes, watery eyes, allergy-like symptoms, and (conveniently for a catch-all illness) both sleepiness '''and''' sleeplessness, as well as headaches, migraines, mild confusion,<ref group=note>Like forgetting where you put your keys five minutes ago, not actual {{wpl|dementia||.}}</ref> and even the best of woo, the ''coup de grace'', "weight gain".

One site goes so far as to include as ''Candida'' symptoms such everyday occurrences as: craving for sweets,<ref group=note>Which clearly is not related to survival instincts from a time when [[sugar]] meant energy &mdash; nah, that's just more [[reality|facts]] getting in the way.</ref> hyper- '''and''' hypo-activity, acne,<ref group=note>Which we know to be the result of ''Propionibacterium acnes'' bacteria getting into hair follicles.</ref> non-clinical depression, pre-menstrual tension, low sex drive, and sensitivity to fragrance.<ref group=note>What does "sensitivity to fragrance" even ''mean?!?'' A better-than-human-average sense of smell?</ref> By that description, everyone on the planet likely has it.<ref>[http://www.holistichelp.net/candida.html Candida], Holistic Help</ref> The 
medical
 explanation is that ''Candida'' "can burrow holes in the intestinal tract, enter the blood stream ''[sic]'' and then make its way into any organ of the body. To make matters worse it emits over 70 different [[toxin]]s into the body. Some people may even become allergic to the yeast itself." Scary burrowing hole-making yeast. Why is the medical world not curing this? One might point out that there '''''are''''' several parasites that burrow into the intestine. The dysentery amoeba ''Entamoeba histolytica'' occasionally does just that; it burrows into the bloodstream from the gut, going to the liver, and forming a large abscess there as it eats the surrounding tissue. Funny we don't see anything similar in thrush sufferers.

=="Cure"==
If you don't happen to have a doctor to give you a $5 anti-fungal cream, and you don't particularly like yogurt, you can get "cured" by any number of products on the market, providing that you eliminate those nasty [[Western medicine|Western]] "antibiotic" thingies. Of course, the standard "advice" begins with things any Ob/Gyn will tell a woman who is treating a yeast infection.

* [[Cleanse]]s<ref>[http://www.renewlife.com/candigone.html CandiGONE], Renew Life</ref> &mdash; [[Argumentum ad populum|Everyone knows]] that to cure yourself of any aliment, you must [[detox]]ify the body. Well, everyone but doctors and science.
* [[Food woo|Diet]]<ref>[http://www.thecandidadiet.com The Candida Diet]</ref> &mdash;  the Candida Diet restricts sugar, starch, fats, and calories.  The diet's designers also make sure to say the diet will cure you of the "extra weight" caused by ''Candida''. Withheld is the fact their diet is just a standard [[low carb|low-carb]], low-fat diet.
* Intestinal flora and fauna<ref>[http://www.candidasupport.org Candida Support]</ref> &mdash; The body needs bacteria to fight excess yeast.  And for the right price, we'll ship out extra-pure [[probiotics]] that are '''''oh so much better''''' than plain yogurt. Which, by the way, along with the detoxing, must be taken daily.<ref group=note>There's the hook!</ref>
   
Of course, the Mayo Clinic says it's all bunk, and if you have a yeast infection, see a doctor.<ref>[http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/candida-cleanse/AN01679 Candida Cleanse], Mayo Clinic</ref><ref group=note>We mean a ''real'' doctor, not some naturopathic wackjob!!!</ref>

==Cancer==
[[File:HeLa cells stained with Hoechst 33258.jpg|thumb|left|These are three individual ''Helacyton gartleri'', stained so their nuclei are distinctly blue. The left nucleus is apparently undergoing [[mitosis]].]]
[[File:Candida albicans 2.jpg|thumb|right|''Candida albicans'' in its many-celled form.]]
[[File:Candida albicans PHIL 3192 lores.jpg|thumb|right|This is a culture of ''Candida albicans'' in its yeast-like form. Notice it is '''not the same''' as the known cancer cells to the left.]]

Perhaps the most disgusting distortion of the thrush yeasts' behavior is the 
brain
child of "[[Argument from authority|Dr.]]" [[Tullio Simoncini]], "Cancer is a Fungus". RationalWiki is not shitting you here; there is a man who earnestly believes that all cancer in all its forms is not mutated body cells with defective oncogenes, but rather a ''Candida albicans'' infection that can be treated with '''baking soda'''.<ref>[http://www.cancerisafungus.com Exactly what it says on the tin.]</ref> Yes, baking soda, wrapped up in the chemical name sodium bicarbonate. This is obviously not the case. For a comparison, shown to the left are pictures of the HeLa cell (''{{wpl|HeLa cell|Helacyton gartleri}}''), which have a well-known history, their origin traced to a woman with cervical cancer. ''H. gartleri'' is {{wpl|amoeboid|amoeboid}} in shape and is a well-known, well-studied "creature". ''C. albicans'' (shown to the right), on the other hand, is a fungus with a chitinous cell wall like all fungi, that even sometimes grows out filamentous hyphae (right, above). Even the yeast-like form (right, below) is nothing like the ''H. gartleri'' known to be cancer cells. Hopefully, Simoncini's [[bullshit|invention]] is simply [[wishful thinking]]; it ''would'' be nice if any cancer could be treated with a common household product, but [[reality]] doesn't care about what we want. It could range from wishful thinking to [[willful ignorance]] to downright [[deceit|malice]]. We don't know.

==See also==
*[[Fungus|Fungi]], ''Candida'''s home kingdom
*[[Jilly Juice]] —&nbsp;one of the more awful alleged cleanses for ''Candida''
*[[Superfoods]], including ''Candida'''s relative and fellow yeast ''Saccharomyces''
*[[Tullio Simoncini]]

==External links==
*[http://www.quackwatch.com/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/candida.html Dubious "Yeast Allergies,"] [[Quackwatch]]
*[[Respectful Insolence]]: [http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2008/08/a_fungus_among_us_in_oncology.php A fungus among us in oncology?],[http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2009/04/fresh_from_huffpo_antibiotics_cause_canc.php Fresh from HuffPo: Antiobiotics cause cancer?]
*[http://keybiotics.com/video_toon15c.php The American Parasite], one of those frustratingly impossible-to-pause paranoid infomercial videos that claims sugar, artificial sweeteners, and preservatives feed our candida and cause all of our problems.  (And then tries to sell you their [[probiotic]] "cure".)

==Notes==
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==References==
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{{italic title}}
[[Category:Alternative medicine]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Cancer woo]]
[[Category:Fungi]]
[[Category:Organisms]]
[[Category:Toxins]]

Categories: Alternative medicine, Biology, Cancer woo, Fungi, Organisms, Toxins