Crank

[[File:Alex Jones NY.jpg|thumb|right|165px|[[Alex Jones]] at a [[9/11]]-truther rally.]]
{{languagenav}}{{hatnote|For the drug, see [[Methamphetamine]]. For the exceptionally 
silly
 awesome movie, you need to be [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0479884/ elsewhere].}}
{{cquote|[[Just_asking_questions|Question:]] Why do [[Skepticism|debunkers]] sound so [[Ad_hominem|moronic]]? Is it just because they have their heads stuck up [[the Matrix]]? or is it their [[Eugenics|family genetics]] giving them a [[Sheeple|predisposition to slavery]]?|||busa, "Senior Member", [[David Icke]] forums<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20171123155846/https://forum.davidicke.com/showpost.php?s=b8c0a804a4fbcf024cc261e8bab72e37&p=1061624087&postcount=12 David Icke's Official Forums - View Single Post - Cattle mutilations : aliens?]</ref>}} 

The term "'''crank'''" pejoratively labels someone who holds extremely unorthodox views on a subject and is often very vocal about these opinions. Synonyms include '''kook''', '''contrarian''', '''nut''', and '''crackpot''' — the "crackpot" variant has led to the coining of the term "psychoceramics" as the name for the study of such people.<ref>http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=psychoceramics</ref> The "contrarian" variety can be ambiguous, often being synonymous with crank, but sometimes referring to a proponent with evidence resisting the dominant evidence-free paradigm, such as contrarian [[Galileo]] vs. the dominant [[Catholic Church]]). Cranks who believe a number of different nutty things all at once are said to suffer from [[crank magnetism]].

Cranks will usually maintain their viewpoint despite — or perhaps ''because of'' — [[Denialism|evidence to the contrary]]. The typical crank is [[Dunning-Kruger effect|an amateur in the field they are arguing against]], but occasionally, individuals with genuine expertise in the field in question will turn into cranks (which generally leads to [[pathological science]]).<ref group=note>The worst example of this being the [[Nobel disease]].</ref> Sometimes, this transformation occurs [[Andrew Wakefield#Fraud|for reasons of personal gain]] — which is [[Irony|ironic]], as cranks will often [[psychological projection|accuse non-cranks of being driven by personal gain]].<ref group=note>[[Big Pharma]]-profit mongering being a typical example.</ref>

Cranks routinely emerge in all fields of study, holding a wide variety of inaccurate or unorthodox views. These range from being able to [[Squaring the circle|square the circle]] with a [[Compass and straightedge constructions|straightedge and a compass]], through [[David Icke|Reptoid-watchers]], to [[Biblical literalism|Biblical literalists]] in the [[creationism]] movement [[Time Cube|and beyond]].

==Debating a crank==

If you value your time and/or sanity, then under no circumstances should you willingly enter into [[debate]] with a crank. A crank's cognitive processes are [[Fractal wrongness|impregnable]] to all forms of [[logic]], [[reason]], evidence, and in extreme cases, basic facts.  

Crank debaters tend to be much, ''much'' more motivated than you are. This enthusiasm is a big part of what makes them cranks. This means that the crank will have heard all of the common objections to their crankiness. The crank has memorized canned responses to each of them.

A common tactic of cranks is to hide behind elaborate rhetoric; if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with [[bullshit]]. [[Big words|An extravagantly ornate lexicon filled with polysyllabic verbiage]] will be utilized unnecessarily, inappropriately, and often erroneously, because if their opposition's comprehension is obfuscated, it's because their opponent is cogitatively inadequate and not because the crank malcommunicates. Never expect a fancy word such as "terse" to grace their tongues. Superfluous rhetoric itself is not proof of crankery, but is a good warning sign.

All of this has the practical upshot of rendering the debate a fantastic waste of calories.

==The worst of the cranks==
Well known cranks (in alphabetical order) and some of their "ideas" include:
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Please think twice before adding someone to this list. A full list of all cranks out there would run in the tens of thousands, if not more.

Only list especially famous and/or especially nutty cranks.
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*[[Adam Kokesh]] - has no problem with a [[privatized]] [[ethnostate]].
*[[Aleister Crowley]] - [[Magic]] powers, [[demon]] and [[angel]] summoning, being the [[Antichrist|Great Beast 666]].
*[[Alex Chiu]] - Immortality magnets.
*[[Alex Jones]] - Crank grandmaster. [[New World Order]], [[9/11 conspiracy theories|9/11 denialism]], [[Federal Reserve]] hysteria, climate change denialism, (insert conspiracy of the week here), ad nauseam.
*Andrew D. Basiago - Man who claims he was at the Gettysburg address and traveled to Mars.
*[[Andrew Schlafly]] - [[Creationism]], abortion causes breast cancer, liberalism causes all societal ills, [[alternate historical chronology|revised chronology]], [[HIV denial|AIDS denialism]], and many more.
*[[Andy Kadir-Buxton]] - [[Kadir-Buxton Method|slapping people on the head to cure mental illness]]
*[[Apollo Quiboloy]] - Filipino [[megachurch]] leader, wanted by the [[FBI]] as a [[Child sexual abuse|child sex offender]] and [[Human trafficking|human trafficker]]. [[Delusions of grandeur|Claims to be]] [[Jerusalem syndrome|the "appointed son of God"]] with supernatural powers.
*[[Charles Berlitz]] - The [[Bermuda Triangle]].
*[[Charles Coughlin]] - Roman Catholic Priest and radio preacher noted for anti-Federal Reserve crankery and international bankers conspiricism.
*Christopher Jon Bjerknes - Thinks that Hitler was a Zionist puppet/shill and communist, lost [[World War II|the war]] on purpose to fulfill some Jewish prophecy. Also believes in world/century spanning conspiracies involving the Jesuits, Vaticans, and/or DA JOOOOOZ. 
*[[David Dees]] - Former {{wpl|Sesame Street}} artist turned conspiracy theorist, known for his outlandish political cartoons about literally every conspiracy theory.
*[[David Icke]] - Another crank grandmaster. Alternate history, alien races, conspiracy theories.
*[[David J. Stewart]] - webmaster of ''Jesus Is Savior'' website, conspiracy theories, arrogant conservativism, pseudohistory, racism, antisemitism, evolution denialism, climate change denialism, endorsement of other cranks, need more be said?
*[[David Sereda]] - [[Shroud of Turin]], [[zero-point energy]], anti-gravity, [[solfeggio frequencies]].
*[[Dennis Prager]] - climate change denier, conspiracy theorist, DDT wackiness, homophobia, Islamophobia.
*{{wpl|Drunvalo Melchizedek}} - believes that through meditation the human being is able to access sources of information (the [[Akashic Records]]) and receive guidance about his/her spiritual advancement. Inspiration behind the viral [[Spirit Science]] videos.
*[[Duane Gish]] - [[creationist]] writer and professional [[Gish Gallop|debate-mangler]], inventor of the [[Gish Gallop|"Gish Gallop"]].
*[[Edgar Cayce]] - Various [[Prophecy|prophecies]], [[Atlantis]], [[reincarnation]].
*[[Eric S. Raymond]] - [[Second Amendment|Gun rights]], [[HIV denialism]], [[global warming]] denial, [[libertarianism]].
*[[Erich von Däniken]] - Chariots of the Gods.
*[[Ernst Zündel]] - [[Holocaust denial]], [[Hollow Earth]], [[New Swabia|secret Nazi bases in Antarctica]], [[Nazi UFOs]].
*[[Eustace Mullins]] - Anti-[[New World Order]] and [[antisemitic]] writer who, at the (alleged) behest of [[American]] [[Fascism|fascist]] poet Ezra Pound, wrote about how the [[Jews]] — specifically the [[Rothschild family|Rothschilds]] — created the [[Federal Reserve]] in order to destroy the American [[economics|economy]] and make us all [[job|wage]] [[slaves]], or something like that (as if capitalism doesn't do that naturally on its own).
*[[Fred Phelps]] - World famous cult leader and crazed anti-gay ideologue. He is not gay.
*[[Gene Ray]] - [[Time Cube]]
*[[Glenn Beck]] - If you don't know, you haven't been paying attention.
*[[Helen Caldicott]] - [[Conspiracy theory|Conspiratorial thinking]] and [[radiophobia|misinformation about nuclear radiation]].
*[[Immanuel Velikovsky]] - Planetary [[catastrophism]], a [[alternate historical chronology|revised chronology]], and more.
*[[Israel Shamir]] - [[Antisemitism|Antisemitic]] [[Holocaust denier]] affiliated with [[WikiLeaks]].
*[[James Corbett]] - Bill Gates created this pandemic to use microchips on vaccines.
*[[Jenny McCarthy]] - Tireless [[Vaccine hysteria|Anti-vaccinationist]].
*[[John A. Davison]] - Proscribed evolution.
*[[John Brandenburg]] - The "thermonuclear war on [[Mars]]" guy.
*[[Joseph Smith]] - Alternate history, alien races, magic underwear; founder of [[Mormonism]].
*[[Judy Wood]] - Dustification of the WTC
*[[Kerry Cassidy]] - Everything is a [[false flag]].
*{{wpl|Kerry Mullis}} - [[HIV denialism]]
*[[L. Ron Hubbard]] - Alternate history, alien races; founder of [[Scientology]].
*[[Lauren Southern]] - The [[racist]] [[conspiracy theory]] of [[white genocide]].
*[[Luke Rudkowski]] - New World Order conspiracy theories, Federal Reserve conspiracy theories, blind support for [[Ron Paul]], leader and founder of Paulbot Cheersquad group [[We Are Change]], arrogance towards those who show dissent towards his views.
*[[Mark Dice]] - Evolution denialism, climate change denialism, [[creationism]], [[NWO]] conspiracy theories, [[Federal Reserve]] hysteria, arrogant social conservatism, being extremely arrogant and condescending towards dissent, immense hypocrisy, sexism, hatred for just about anyone who is not a Christian.
*[[Mike Adams]] - proprietor of the website NaturalNews.
*[[Owen Benjamin]] - believes [[Obama]] is gay and [[Michelle Obama]] is [[transgender]], thinks teaching [[sex ed]] is "immoral", believes in [[Chemtrails]], [[antisemite]] to name a few things.
*{{wpl|Olavo de Carvalho}} - A Brazilian pundit, [[Astrology| astrologer]] and self-styled philosopher who didn't pass the fourth grade, who teaches that a [[Cultural Marxism| Communist conspiracy is running through the liberals to dominate the world]]. He has a cult following in Brazil, but lives in Virginia. Besides teaching conspiracy theories and that Newton's laws are a farce, he alleges that Pepsi uses aborted fetus cells in the beverage.
*[[BADD|Pat Pulling]] - [[Satanic panic]], [[Dungeons & Dragons]] is occult and will lead your child to suicide and devil worship
*[[Pentti Linkola]] - [[Environmentalism|Eco]][[fascism]]. This is one of the few cases in which the term is used literally, as opposed to, say, the Right's hyperbolic whining about the EPA, Kyoto Protocols, etc.
*[[Paul Nehlen]] - [[Wisconsin]] [[Republican Party]] [[Politician|politician]], "[[Free speech|free speech]]" advocate of #ShallNotCensor, businessman and Christian who shares antisemitic tweets and views.
*[[Peter Duesberg]], Eleni Papadopulos-Eleopulos - [[HIV denial|AIDS denialism]].
*[[Peter Sweden]] (aka Peter Immaulsen) - [[Scandinavia]]n man born in [[Norway]] ([[Irony|not Sweden]]) who is an [[New World Order|NWO]] [[Conspiracy theory|Conspiracy theorist]]  [[Islamophobia|Islamophobe]], Anti-immigration advocate, [[Antifeminism|Antifeminist]] and former [[Holocaust denialism|Holocaust denier]], [[Antisemitism|Antisemite]], [[Homophobia|Homophobe]], [[Anti-Catholicism|Vatican hater]] and [[Adolf Hitler|Pro-Hitler]] [[Nazism|Nazi symphatizer]].
*[[Ray Kurzweil]] - [[Transhumanism]], specifically in its manifestation as utopian magical thinking, immortality fantasies, and Rapture analogues. BS artist extraordinaire. Keeps making fantastical predictions of the future that fail to pan out.
*[[Richard C. Hoagland]] - [[Face on Mars|"Face" on Mars]], aliens, NASA conspiracy theories.
*[[Richard Shaver]] - Subterranean cities and their malevolent inhabitants, the Dero.
*{{wpl|Rohan Roger David Zener|Rohan R. D. Zener}} - Self-loathing profound [[Autism|autistic]] who denies autism's existence as anything more than the name of an arbitrary subhuman [[Communism|collective]], yet claims to know a cure for it.
*[[Seán Manchester]] - [[Vampire]] hunter and self-proclaimed "Catholic Bishop".
*[[Smoloko News|Scottie Spence]] - founder/proprietor of Smoloko News, a news website whose founder is a raving racist crackpot who preaches antisemitism (which is 99% of this website's content) and a supposed [[International Jewish Conspiracy]] with "Jews did it" articles, [[Homophobia|homophobia]], [[Antifeminism|antifeminism]], anti-Pope Francis hate,  [[Islamophobia]], [[Pseudohistory|pseudohistory]], occasional Christian fundamentalism, [[Conspiracy theory|conspiracy theories]], [[Holocaust denial|Holocaust denialism]], [[Neo-Nazi|Nazi apologism]] as well as gool ol' nonsensical bullshit (such as [[ISIS]] being created by the CIA and Mossad, Khazar Mafia, General George S. Patton was assassinated by the Jews, [[Quote mining|quote mining]] certain Jewish figures etc.). Spence happens to have been a criminal as he sprayed antisemitic, Neo-Nazi graffiti in Youngstown, Ohio in 2016 that got him arrested for "ethnic intimidation" with a fine and probation.
*[[Steve Quayle]] - Global population reduction by means of viruses, [[chemtrails]] and contrived famine.
*[[Texe Marrs]] - NWO conspiracy theories, fundamentalist Christianity, antisemitism, [[satanic panic]].
*[[Todd Bentley]] - Christian faith healing through kicking and punching.
*[[Tom Bethell]] - Numerous forms of science denial.
*[[Uri Geller]] - Probably the best-known popularizer of [[telekinesis]] through his spoon-bending trick.
*[[Wilhelm Reich]] - [[orgone energy]].
*[[Zecharia Sitchin]] - Reinterpreter of Sumerian mythology and perpetuator of the "[[Zeta Reticuli]]" alien conspiracy theory.

==See also==
*[[Crank magnetism]]
*[[List of internet kooks]]
*[[Fanaticism]]
*[[Fringe]]
*[[Quackery]]
*[[Kookmobile]]

==External links==
*[http://www.crank.net/ Crank Dot Net], a directory of crank (and anti-crank) websites
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20100310171832/http://scienceblogs.com/denialism/2007/05/crank_howto.php Crank Howto] by Mark Hoofnagle

==Notes==
{{reflist|group=note}}

==References==
{{reflist|1|80%}}

[[Category:Denialism]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theorists]]
[[Category:Pseudohistory promoters]]
[[Category:Pseudoscience promoters]]
[[ru:Научные фрики]]

Categories: Denialism, Conspiracy theorists, Pseudohistory promoters, Pseudoscience promoters