The Devil's Dictionary

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[[File:First Demon's Dictionary Column in the San Francisco Newletter and California Advertiser (Dec 11 1875).png|thumb|right|165px|The appearance of ''The Devil's Dictionary'']]
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'''''The Devil's Dictionary''''' is a darkly [[Satire|satirical]] "dictionary," originally written by [[United States|American]] [[Author|writer]] {{wpl|Ambrose Bierce}} as a newspaper column, later collected in a book published in 1911. Essentially playing [[devil]]'s advocate with the way we speak (hence the name), Bierce provides the most hilariously cynical — and sometimes, as the case may be, ''frighteningly accurate'' — definitions imaginable. Imagine the result if [[H. L. Mencken]] were forced to write as briefly as possible on every conceivable topic and you're pretty close.

==Positions==
This is the sort of work that doesn't advocate for anything, but settles for criticizing ''everything''.  This is perhaps summed up best in the definition of "[[conservative]]":

{{cquote|A statesman enamored of existing evils, as opposed to a [[Liberal]], who wants to replace them with others.}}

In the context of the whole work, this ends up seeming like an altogether too "safe" position, more aligned with the [[balance fallacy]] (or the comedian's "equal-opportunity offender" role) than calling out [[bullshit]] for what it is.  Nonetheless readers will be pleased to know that there are those occasions on which Bierce takes unapologetic swipes at particular ideas ''without'' feigning balance.  The entry on "[[corporation]]" is downright [[corporate personhood|prescient]]:

{{cquote|An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.}}

Likewise, an uncharacteristically (yet deservedly) long entry on "[[freemason]]s," which brilliantly satirizes the nonsensical [[conspiracy theory|conspiracy theories]] regarding that organization:

{{cquote|An order with secret rites, grotesque ceremonies and fantastic costumes, which, originating in the reign of Charles II, among working artisans of London, has been joined successively by the dead of past centuries in unbroken retrogression until now it embraces all the generations of man on the hither side of Adam and is drumming up distinguished recruits among the pre-Creational inhabitants of Chaos and Formless Void. The order was founded at different times by [[Charlemagne]], [[Julius Caesar]], Cyrus, Solomon, [[Zoroaster]], [[Confucius]], Thothmes, and [[Buddha]]. Its emblems and symbols have been found in the Catacombs of Paris and Rome, on the stones of the Parthenon and the [[Chinese]] Great Wall, among the temples of Karnak and Palmyra and in the [[Egyptian]] [[Pyramid]]s — always by a Freemason.}}

Many of the entries display no small degree of [[racism]] and [[sexism]], although it's [[Poe's Law|not always clear]] whether Bierce is ''taking'' these positions or ''criticizing'' them.  The entry for "hers," for instance, reads simply "his"; whether this is supposed to be a humorously terse affirmation of what the reader is expected to believe or a sharp attack on what is all too often assumed to be the case without reason is essentially up to the reader to decide.

If there ''is'' any consistent position the book takes, it's that [[people]] are terrible, duplicitous, and most of all '''selfish''' creatures.  Take the definition of "happiness," for instance:

{{cquote|An agreeable sensation arising from [[Schadenfreude|contemplating the misery of another]].}}

On the whole, it's extremely cynical, although, if taken in small doses, it's an enormously entertaining read.

==Other brilliant quotes==
{{quotebox|''[[Christianity|Christian]]'', n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ so long as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.}}

{{quotebox|''[[Marriage]]'', n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.}}

{{quotebox|''[[Democracy|Vote]]'', v. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.}}

{{quotebox|''[[Patriotism]]'', n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.<br><br>
In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_views_of_Samuel_Johnson#The_Patriot patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel]. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.}}

==External links==
The book's [[copyright]] has expired, so it's easy to obtain a legal copy the full text online.
*[http://thedevilsdictionary.com/ The Devil's Dictionary.com], the book in a somewhat awkward web form
*[https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/972 At Project Gutenberg]
*[http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ambrose_Bierce#The_Devil.27s_Dictionary_.281911.29 Wikiquote entry]

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[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Parody]]

Categories: Language, Parody