Writing prompt: An Unforgettable Experience in My Summer Vacation

Student essay:
This year is my first time that I didn't spend the Spring Festival with my family in Tianjin.I went to Hainan to go on holiday.I always felt a bit sad,especially on the New Year's Eve.
After giving my grandma a call,I missed her very much.I thought of my grandma's care in my daily life,then I couldn't help crying in the carridor.
Maybe I let out such a sharp cry,an old lady came out to see what happened.She was my neighbour in the apartment.She walked up to me,with pity in her face.She touched me by the shoulder and asked what was wrong with me softly.I told her the reason why I felt so sad.
She seemed to understand something.She held my hand and walked toward her room.I got a shock:nobody was in the room,but there was a great number of dishes on the table.She invited my father too.She said that her husband had died since several years ago and she had to spend the Spring Festival lonely,we were lonely just right,so she invited us.I was very surprised.
During the dinner,she raised me up all the time,served meals for me, and told me some of her interesting experiences.Soon, I felt happy and warm instead of sadness.We watched TV together on the sofa with luagh.
In this way,we spent a nice evening.I didn't feel sad any more.I was so moved by her behavior.She made me feel warmer than that I felt at home.
I can't forget her smile and the experience.This is the best Spring Festival which I have spent.This is my unforgettable thing during winter holiday.

Corrected essay:
This year was my first time that I didn't spend the Spring Festival with my family in Tianjin. I went to Hainan to go on holiday. I always felt a bit sad, especially on New Year's Eve.
After giving my grandma a call, I missed her very much. I thought of my grandma's care in my daily life, and then I couldn't help crying in the corridor.
Maybe I let out such a sharp cry that an old lady came out to see what happened. She was my neighbour in the apartment. She walked up to me, with pity on her face. She touched me on the shoulder and asked what was wrong with me softly. I told her the reason why I felt so sad.
She seemed to understand something. She held my hand and walked toward her room. I got a shock: nobody was in the room, but there were a great number of dishes on the table. She invited my father too. She said that her husband had died several years ago and she had to spend the Spring Festival lonely. We were lonely just right, so she invited us. I was very surprised.
During the dinner, she cheered me up all the time, served meals for me, and told me some of her interesting experiences. Soon, I felt happy and warm instead of sad. We watched TV together on the sofa with laughter.
In this way, we spent a nice evening. I didn't feel sad anymore. I was so moved by her behaviour. She made me feel warmer than I felt at home.
I can't forget her smile and the experience. This is the best Spring Festival that I have had. This is my unforgettable thing during the winter holiday.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: This year is my first time that I didn't spend the Spring Festival with my family in Tianjin.
correct_sentence: This year was my first time that I didn't spend the Spring Festival with my family in Tianjin.
error: is
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the sentence describes an event that happened in the past; the subordinate clause uses the simple past tense 〈didn't spend〉, and the main clause's tense should be consistent with it. According to English grammar rules, 〈is〉 should be changed to the past tense form 『was』 to ensure tense consistency throughout the text.

error_sentence: I always felt a bit sad,especially on the New Year's Eve.

correct_sentence: I always felt a bit sad, especially on New Year's Eve.

error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, a definite article is not needed before the fixed holiday name 〈New Year's Eve〉. The added 〈the〉 in the original sentence is redundant and should be deleted to make the expression conform to English habits.

error_sentence: I thought of my grandma's care in my daily life,then I couldn't help crying in the carridor.

correct_sentence: I thought of my grandma's care in my daily life, and then I couldn't help crying in the corridor.

correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: In the original sentence, “ I thought of my grandma's care in my daily life” and “then I couldn't help crying in the corridor” are two independent clauses. According to English grammar rules, independent clauses need to be connected by a conjunction; the original sentence lacks a conjunction, and adding 『and』 can make the sentence structure complete and the meaning coherent.

error_sentence: I thought of my grandma's care in my daily life,then I couldn't help crying in the carridor.

correct_sentence: I thought of my grandma's care in my daily life, and then I couldn't help crying in the corridor.

error: carridor
correction: corridor
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express “corridor”; the word 〈carridor〉 is misspelled, the correct spelling is 『corridor』, so 〈carridor〉 needs to be changed to 『corridor』 to make the meaning clear and the expression correct.

error_sentence: Maybe I let out such a sharp cry,an old lady came out to see what happened.
correct_sentence: Maybe I let out such a sharp cry that an old lady came out to see what happened.
error: ,
correction: that
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: In the original sentence, “Maybe I let out such a sharp cry” and “an old lady came out to see what happened” have a cause-and-effect relationship; a comma cannot connect this type of relationship. According to English grammar rules, 〈that〉 needs to be added to form a “such...that...” structure, introducing an adverbial clause of result; ② Punctuation Error: The comma in the original sentence is used improperly, undermining the integrity of the sentence structure; the comma should be deleted, making the sentence structure standard.

error_sentence: She walked up to me,with pity in her face.
correct_sentence: She walked up to me, with pity on her face.
error: in
correction: on
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, when describing facial expressions, the correct prepositional phrase is “on one's face”. The use of 〈in her face〉 in the original sentence does not conform to this habit; 〈in〉 should be changed to 『on』 to match the idiomatic expression “on her face”.

error_sentence: She touched me by the shoulder and asked what was wrong with me softly.
correct_sentence: She touched me on the shoulder and asked what was wrong with me softly.
error: by
correction: on
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, when describing touching a part of the body, “touch sb. on + body part” is the correct usage. The use of 〈by the shoulder〉 in the original sentence does not conform to this habit; the preposition 〈by〉 should be changed to 『on』 to make the expression conform to the idiomatic structure “on the shoulder”.

error_sentence: I got a shock:nobody was in the room,but there was a great number of dishes on the table.
correct_sentence: I got a shock: nobody was in the room, but there were a great number of dishes on the table.
error: was
correction: were
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Subject-Verb Agreement Error: In the “There be” sentence pattern, the singular/plural form of the be-verb needs to agree with the following subject. In the original sentence, the subject 〈a great number of dishes〉 is a plural concept; according to English grammar rules, the be-verb should be in the plural form. The original sentence's use of 〈was〉 is incorrect and needs to be changed to 『were』 to maintain subject-verb agreement.

error_sentence: She said that her husband had died since several years ago and she had to spend the Spring Festival lonely,we were lonely just right,so she invited us.
correct_sentence: She said that her husband had died several years ago and she had to spend the Spring Festival lonely.
error: since
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Word Redundancy Error: In English, when 〈since〉 introduces an adverbial of time, it is usually paired with words indicating a point in time, whereas 〈ago〉 is used to denote a period of time calculated backwards from the present; using both together creates a contradiction in time expression. The simultaneous use of 〈since〉 and 〈ago〉 in the original sentence is semantically redundant; 〈since〉 should be deleted to make the expression “died several years ago” semantically accurate and natural.

error_sentence: She said that her husband had died since several years ago and she had to spend the Spring Festival lonely,we were lonely just right,so she invited us.
correct_sentence: She said that her husband had died several years ago and she had to spend the Spring Festival lonely. We were lonely just right, so she invited us.
error: ,we
correction: . We
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: In the original sentence, “and she had to spend the Spring Festival lonely” and “we were lonely just right” are two independent sentences. According to English grammar rules, independent sentences cannot be separated merely by a comma; the comma should be changed to a period, and the first letter of the first word 〈We〉 in the following sentence should be capitalized to conform to English punctuation and writing conventions.

error_sentence: During the dinner,she raised me up all the time,served meals for me, and told me some of her interesting experiences.
correct_sentence: During the dinner, she cheered me up all the time, served meals for me, and told me some of her interesting experiences.
error: raised
correction: cheered
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the intention here is to express “cheer me up”. 〈raised me up〉 is not an appropriate expression; common meanings of “raise” include “to lift; to increase; to bring up (a child)” etc., which do not fit this context. However, "cheer sb. up" is a fixed phrase meaning “to make someone feel happier”; according to English expression habits, 〈raised〉 should be changed to 『cheered』 to accurately convey the meaning.

error_sentence: Soon, I felt happy and warm instead of sadness.
correct_sentence: Soon, I felt happy and warm instead of sad.
error: sadness
correction: sad
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① PoS Confusion Error: According to English grammar rules, in the "instead of" structure, it usually connects components of the same part of speech, forming a parallel structure. In the original sentence, "happy and warm" are adjectives, while 〈sadness〉 is a noun; the parts of speech are inconsistent. The noun 〈sadness〉 should be changed to the adjective 『sad』 to make the sentence structure and expression conform to standards.

error_sentence: We watched TV together on the sofa with luagh.

correct_sentence: We watched TV together on the sofa with laughter.

error: luagh
correction: laughter
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express “laughter”; the word 〈luagh〉 is misspelled, the correct spelling is 『laughter』. 〈luagh〉 needs to be changed to 『laughter』 to make the meaning clear and the expression correct.

error_sentence: I didn't feel sad any more.
correct_sentence: I didn't feel sad anymore.
error: any more
correction: anymore
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Spelling Error: In negative sentences, to express “no longer”, "anymore" should be used, which is one word. In the original sentence, writing it as 〈any more〉 (separated form) does not conform to English word compounding rules; according to English writing conventions, 〈any more〉 needs to be changed to 『anymore』 to make the expression correct.

error_sentence: I was so moved by her behavior.
correct_sentence: I was so moved by her behaviour.
error: behavior
correction: behaviour

error_sentence: She made me feel warmer than that I felt at home.

correct_sentence: She made me feel warmer than I felt at home.

error: that
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Word Redundancy Error: In a comparative adverbial clause, 〈than〉 already serves the function of introducing the clause; the extra 〈that〉 in the original sentence is redundant. According to English grammar rules, the redundant 〈that〉 should be deleted to make the structure "than I felt at home" correct and the sentence expression concise and standard.

error_sentence: This is the best Spring Festival which I have spent.
correct_sentence: This is the best Spring Festival that I have had.
error: which
correction: that
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Relative Word Error: In an adjective clause, when the antecedent is modified by a superlative, the relative pronoun 〈that〉 must be used. In the original sentence, the antecedent "the best Spring Festival" is modified by the superlative 〈best〉; according to English grammar rules, the relative pronoun 〈which〉 cannot be used and should be changed to 『that』 to meet the requirements for restrictive adjective clauses.

error_sentence: This is the best Spring Festival which I have spent.
correct_sentence: This is the best Spring Festival that I have had.
error: spent
correction: had
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the intention here is to express “spend (Spring Festival)”. Although 〈spent〉 means “to pass (time)”, its collocation with "Spring Festival" is not entirely idiomatic. “have a + festival” is a common expression; here, 〈had〉 can more accurately express “to experience/celebrate” and indicate a completed state, so 〈spent〉 should be changed to 『had』 to make the expression fit the context.

error_sentence: This is my unforgettable thing during winter holiday.
correct_sentence: This is my unforgettable thing during the winter holiday.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Determiner Error: In English, when referring to a specific “winter holiday”, a definite article is needed for clear reference. In the original sentence, "winter holiday" is vague in meaning; according to English grammar rules and expression habits, the definite article 〈the〉 should be added, so that "the winter holiday" has a clear reference and the expression is more standard.