Writing prompt: Community Service

Student essay:
In this summer holiday,i played computer games every day. I felt happy,not the real happy. But the community service made me feel the real happy.
In a wonderful morning,i went out to do community service,helping an old people. At first,i chatted with the old man,then i did some housework and cooked for the old man. We had lunch together. We both felt happy that day. When i left,i saw the old man's face covered with a smile. At that moment,i felt real happy.
In that day,i felt real happy because i did a right thing.

Corrected essay:
In this summer holiday, I played computer games every day. I felt happy, but not really happy. However, the community service made me feel really happy.
In a wonderful morning, I went out to do community service, helping an old person. At first, I chatted with the old man, then I did some housework and cooked for the old man. We had lunch together. We both felt happy that day. When I left, I saw the old man's face covered with a smile. At that moment, I felt really happy.
In that day, I felt really happy because I did a right thing.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: In this summer holiday,i played computer games every day.
correct_sentence: In this summer holiday, I played computer games every day.
error: i
correction: I
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English grammar rules, the first-person pronoun must be capitalized when it is at the beginning of a sentence or used alone. Therefore, the lowercase form 〈i〉 is corrected to the uppercase form 『I』 to comply with English writing conventions.

error_sentence: I felt happy,not the real happy.
correct_sentence: I felt happy, but not really happy.
error: not the real
correction: but not really
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: The original sentence lacks a transitional conjunction, leading to incomplete semantics. According to the sentence's meaning, the conjunction 『but』 should be added after the adjective 〈happy〉 to clearly express the contrast between the preceding and succeeding clauses; ② Determiner Error: The definite article 〈the〉 in the phrase 〈the real happy〉 is redundant because the adjective 〈happy〉 is used in a general sense, not a specific one. Therefore, 〈the〉 is deleted to make the expression more idiomatic in English; ③ PoS Confusion Error: The structure of the original phrase 〈the real happy〉 is incorrect; the adjective 〈happy〉 needs to be modified by an adverb. Therefore, the determiner phrase 〈the real〉 is changed to the adverb 『really』 to correctly modify the adjective 〈happy〉, forming the standard collocation 『really happy』.

error_sentence: But the community service made me feel the real happy.

correct_sentence: However, the community service made me feel really happy.

error: But
correction: However,
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: The conjunction 〈But〉 at the beginning of the sentence is acceptable in informal contexts, but in formal writing, it should be replaced with the more standard 『However』, followed by a comma, to meet the standards of written English expression; ② Punctuation Error: According to English expression norms, a comma is needed after the conjunction 『However』 to separate it from the following clause. Therefore, the original sentence is modified to 『However,』 to enhance formality and more accurately express the transitional relationship.

error_sentence: But the community service made me feel the real happy.

correct_sentence: However, the community service made me feel really happy.

error: the real
correction: really
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Determiner Error: The definite article 〈the〉 in the phrase 〈the real happy〉 is redundant because the adjective 〈happy〉 is used in a general sense, not a specific one. Therefore, 〈the〉 is deleted to make the expression more idiomatic in English; ② PoS Confusion Error: The structure of the original phrase 〈the real happy〉 is incorrect; the adjective 〈happy〉 needs to be modified by an adverb. Therefore, the adjective 〈real〉 is changed to the adverb 『really』 to correctly modify the adjective 〈happy〉, forming the standard collocation 『really happy』.

error_sentence: In a wonderful morning,i went out to do community service,helping an old people.
correct_sentence: In a wonderful morning, I went out to do community service, helping an old person.
error: i
correction: I
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English grammar rules, the first-person pronoun must be capitalized when it is at the beginning of a sentence or used alone. Therefore, the lowercase form 〈i〉 is corrected to the uppercase form 『I』 to comply with English writing conventions.

error_sentence: In a wonderful morning,i went out to do community service,helping an old people.
correct_sentence: In a wonderful morning, I went out to do community service, helping an old person.
error: people
correction: person
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: The indefinite article 〈an〉 must be followed by a singular countable noun, whereas 〈people〉 is plural. According to grammatical rules, the plural noun 〈people〉 is changed to its singular form 『person』 to form the correct collocation 『 an old person』.

error_sentence: At first,i chatted with the old man,then i did some housework and cooked for the old man.
correct_sentence: At first, I chatted with the old man, then I did some housework and cooked for the old man.
error: i
correction: I
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English grammar rules, the first-person pronoun must be capitalized when it is at the beginning of a sentence or used alone. Therefore, the lowercase form 〈i〉 is corrected to the uppercase form 『I』 to comply with English writing conventions.

error_sentence: At first,i chatted with the old man,then i did some housework and cooked for the old man.
correct_sentence: At first, I chatted with the old man, then I did some housework and cooked for the old man.
error: i
correction: I
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English grammar rules, the first-person pronoun must be capitalized when it is at the beginning of a sentence or used alone. Therefore, the lowercase form 〈i〉 is corrected to the uppercase form 『I』 to comply with English writing conventions.

error_sentence: When i left,i saw the old man's face covered with a smile.
correct_sentence: When I left, I saw the old man's face covered with a smile.
error: i
correction: I
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English grammar rules, the first-person pronoun must be capitalized when it is at the beginning of a sentence or used alone. Therefore, the lowercase form 〈i〉 is corrected to the uppercase form 『I』 to comply with English writing conventions.

error_sentence: When i left,i saw the old man's face covered with a smile.
correct_sentence: When I left, I saw the old man's face covered with a smile.
error: i
correction: I
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English grammar rules, the first-person pronoun must be capitalized when it is at the beginning of a sentence or used alone. Therefore, the lowercase form 〈i〉 is corrected to the uppercase form 『I』 to comply with English writing conventions.

error_sentence: At that moment,i felt real happy.

correct_sentence: At that moment, I felt really happy.

error: i felt real
correction: I felt really
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Case Error: According to English grammar rules, the first-person pronoun must be capitalized when it is at the beginning of a sentence or used alone. Therefore, the lowercase form 〈i〉 is corrected to the uppercase form 『I』 to comply with English writing conventions; ② PoS Confusion Error: The structure of the original phrase 〈felt real happy〉 is incorrect; the adjective 〈happy〉 needs to be modified by an adverb. Therefore, the adjective 〈real〉 is changed to the adverb 『really』 to correctly modify the adjective 〈happy〉, forming the standard collocation 『really happy』.

error_sentence: In that day,i felt real happy because i did a right thing.
correct_sentence: In that day, I felt really happy because I did a right thing.
error: i felt real
correction: I felt really
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Case Error: According to English grammar rules, the first-person pronoun must be capitalized when it is at the beginning of a sentence or used alone. Therefore, the lowercase form 〈i〉 is corrected to the uppercase form 『I』 to comply with English writing conventions; ② PoS Confusion Error: The structure of the original phrase 〈felt real happy〉 is incorrect; the adjective 〈happy〉 needs to be modified by an adverb. Therefore, the adjective 〈real〉 is changed to the adverb 『really』 to correctly modify the adjective 〈happy〉, forming the standard collocation 『really happy』.

error_sentence: In that day,i felt real happy because i did a right thing.
correct_sentence: In that day, I felt really happy because I did a right thing.
error: i
correction: I
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English grammar rules, the first-person pronoun must be capitalized when it is at the beginning of a sentence or used alone. Therefore, the lowercase form 〈i〉 is corrected to the uppercase form 『I』 to comply with English writing conventions.