Writing prompt: How to Become a Good Learner?

Student essay:
We're all learners in this quick-developing world, so konwing the way to become a good learner is very important. Today,I'd like to say something.
To become a good learner, we should learn to study efficiently.First, we must make plans before we do everything. It's also good for us to think more and sum up more. Then, books and the Internet are both good helpers. They can give us chances and information that we should take and remember carefully. What's more, we can't study all the time. Sleeping and resting well is so important that if we are tired, it's impossible for us to study efficiently.
In a word,the key to succeed is to be harmed-working while having a good way.

Corrected essay:
We're all learners in this quick-developing world, so knowing the way to become a good learner is very important. Today, I'd like to say something.
To become a good learner, we should learn to study efficiently. First, we must make plans before we do everything. It's also good for us to think more and sum up more. Then, books and the Internet are both good helpers. They can give us chances that we should take and information that we should remember carefully. What's more, we can't study all the time. Sleeping and resting well are so important because if we are tired, it's impossible for us to study efficiently.
In a word, the key to success is to be hard-working while having a good way.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: We're all learners in this quick-developing world, so konwing the way to become a good learner is very important.
correct_sentence: We're all learners in this quick-developing world, so knowing the way to become a good learner is very important.
error: konwing
correction: knowing
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is clear that the intended expression is 'knowing', therefore 〈konwing〉 is a misspelling of 『knowing』; it needs to be changed to 『knowing』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: Today,I'd like to say something.

correct_sentence: Today, I'd like to say something.

error: I'd
correction: I'd
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, there should be a space between the comma 〈,〉 and the subsequent word 〈I'd〉; this space is missing in the original sentence, which does not conform to writing standards, and should be corrected to 『Today, I'd』.

error_sentence: They can give us chances and information that we should take and remember carefully.
correct_sentence: They can give us chances that we should take and information that we should remember carefully.
error: and information
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: In the sentence, 〈chances〉 and 〈information〉 serve as two independent objects, and semantically, they should correspond to subsequent modifying content respectively; 〈and information〉 in the original sentence is redundant, and deleting it can make the sentence more concise.

error_sentence: They can give us chances and information that we should take and remember carefully.
correct_sentence: They can give us chances that we should take and information that we should remember carefully.
correction: information that we should
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The use of the relative clause in the original sentence makes the sentence structure confusing, as it does not correctly distinguish the correspondence between different antecedents and their respective actions; by adding an independent relative clause for 〈information〉, and adjusting to 『chances that we should take and information that we should take and remember carefully』, the sentence structure can be made logical.

error_sentence: Sleeping and resting well is so important that if we are tired, it's impossible for us to study efficiently.

correct_sentence: Sleeping and resting well are so important because if we are tired, it's impossible for us to study efficiently.

error: is
correction: are
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: According to English grammar rules, when the subject is a compound structure 〈Sleeping and resting well〉 connected by 'and', it represents a plural concept, and the verb needs to be in the plural form; the original sentence uses the singular verb form 〈is〉, which does not conform to the principle of subject-verb agreement, and should be changed to the plural form 『are』 to maintain subject-verb agreement.

error_sentence: Sleeping and resting well is so important that if we are tired, it's impossible for us to study efficiently.

correct_sentence: Sleeping and resting well are so important because if we are tired, it's impossible for us to study efficiently.

error: that
correction: because
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to the logical relationship of the sentence, the original sentence intends to express that 'sleeping and resting are very important' because 'if we are tired, it's impossible for us to study efficiently', which is a causal relationship; however, 〈that〉 is usually used to introduce relationships such as degree or result and cannot clearly express this causal logic; 〈that〉 should be replaced with 『because』 to clearly state the causal link between the two, making the semantic expression accurate.

error_sentence: In a word,the key to succeed is to be harmed-working while having a good way.
correct_sentence: In a word, the key to success is to be hard-working while having a good way.
error: succeed
correction: success
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: According to English grammar rules, the preposition 〈to〉 is usually followed by a noun as its object; the use of the verb 〈succeed〉 in the original sentence does not meet this requirement. A noun form should be used here, replacing 〈succeed〉 with 『success』, which fits the fixed phrase 'the key to success'.

error_sentence: In a word,the key to succeed is to be harmed-working while having a good way.
correct_sentence: In a word, the key to success is to be hard-working while having a good way.
error: harmed
correction: hard
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is clear that the intended expression is 'diligent' or 'hard-working', and the correct compound adjective should be 『hard-working』; the original word 〈harmed〉 means 'injured', which would cause semantic misunderstanding; 〈harmed-working〉 needs to be changed to 『hard-working』 to make the sentence coherent.