Writing prompt: My Hero

Student essay:
My name is X and my hero is my father. In my heart he is omnipotent kind and helpful.
Although he is not famous but he loves his work and family. For the most part he is very busy with his work,but he can help me with my homework. He is strict with my habit, but I believe that he loves me. Over the weekends he not only communicates with me, but also plays with me. When I am sad he always cheers me up and takes a joke made me laugh.
Dad is very common but in my heart he is great so I love him very much.

Corrected essay:
My name is X, and my hero is my father. In my heart, he is omnipotent, kind and helpful.
Although he is not famous, he loves his work and family. For the most part, he is very busy with his work, but he can help me with my homework. He is strict with my habit, but I believe that he loves me. Over the weekends he not only communicates with me, but also plays with me. When I am sad, he always cheers me up and tells a joke to make me laugh.
Dad is very common, but in my heart he is great, so I love him very much.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: My name is X and my hero is my father.
correct_sentence: My name is X, and my hero is my father.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, a comma 『,』 needs to be added before the conjunction 〈and〉 in a compound sentence to clarify the sentence structure and pause; therefore, a comma is added in 『My name is X and my hero is my father』 to conform to English compound sentence punctuation rules.

error_sentence: In my heart he is omnipotent kind and helpful.

correct_sentence: In my heart, he is omnipotent, kind and helpful.

correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, the adverbial phrase 〈In my heart〉 needs to be separated from the main clause by a comma 『,』. Therefore, 〈In my heart he〉 is changed to 『In my heart, he』 to conform to English expression habits.

error_sentence: In my heart he is omnipotent kind and helpful.

correct_sentence: In my heart, he is omnipotent, kind and helpful.

correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, multiple parallel adjectives 〈omnipotent kind〉 need to be separated by a comma 『,』; therefore, 〈omnipotent kind〉 needs to be changed to 『omnipotent, kind』 to conform to English expression habits.

error_sentence: Although he is not famous but he loves his work and family.
correct_sentence: Although he is not famous, he loves his work and family.
error: but
correction: ,
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, when 〈Although〉 introduces a sentence, the subordinate clause and the main clause need to be separated by a comma; therefore, 〈famous but〉 needs to be changed to 『famous,』 to conform to expression habits; ② Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈Although〉 and 〈but〉 cannot appear at the same time; therefore, 〈but〉 needs to be deleted to conform to English grammar.

error_sentence: For the most part he is very busy with his work,but he can help me with my homework.
correct_sentence: For the most part, he is very busy with his work, but he can help me with my homework.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, the adverbial phrase 〈For the most part〉 needs to be separated from the main clause by a comma 『,』; therefore, 〈For the most part he〉 is changed to 『For the most part, he』 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: When I am sad he always cheers me up and takes a joke made me laugh.

correct_sentence: When I am sad, he always cheers me up and tells a joke to make me laugh.

correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, the adverbial phrase 〈When I am sad〉 needs to be separated from the main clause by a comma 『,』; therefore, 〈When I am sad he〉 is changed to 『When I am sad, he』 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: When I am sad he always cheers me up and takes a joke made me laugh.

correct_sentence: When I am sad, he always cheers me up and tells a joke to make me laugh.

error: takes
correction: tells
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'to tell a joke'; the original phrase 〈takes a joke〉 does not conform to English collocation habits; therefore, 〈takes a joke〉 needs to be changed to 『tells a joke』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: When I am sad he always cheers me up and takes a joke made me laugh.

correct_sentence: When I am sad, he always cheers me up and tells a joke to make me laugh.

error: made
correction: to make
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to the context, the meaning here is 'to make me laugh'; an infinitive phrase should be used; the original form 〈made〉 is incorrect; therefore, 〈made〉 needs to be changed to 『to make』 to express a purpose relationship, in order to conform to the semantics.

error_sentence: Dad is very common but in my heart he is great
correct_sentence: Dad is very common, but in my heart he is great, so I love him very much.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, when the coordinating conjunction 〈but〉 connects two independent clauses, a comma 『,』 needs to be added before the conjunction; therefore, 〈common but〉 needs to be changed to 『common, but』 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: Dad is very common but in my heart he is great so I love him very much.
correct_sentence: Dad is very common, but in my heart he is great, so I love him very much.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, in a compound sentence, the conjunction 〈so〉 needs to be preceded by a comma to separate the main and subordinate clauses; therefore, the original text needs to be modified to 『, so』 to conform to grammar rules.