Writing prompt: Should High School Students Get Online Frequently?

Student essay:
Recently I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online frequently and my classmates hold different opinions on it.
Some of my classmates think it necessary to get online.To their mind,the Internet can make it convient to study.Through the Internet,they have access to braoden their minds.Besides,they can wach movies.read novels.cheat with others and so on.So they don't think that it's bad for us to get online.
In others' opinions,the Internet isn't good for students.Beacuse of the attract of kinds of things in the Internet,we sometimes hardly restrain oyrselves.They think students should pay more attention to study.The information will make students lose themselves.
To my mind,getting online has both advantages and disanvantages.If we use the Internet correctly and don't depend too much on it,we will not be rapt in the Internet.

Corrected essay:
Recently, I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online frequently and my classmates hold different opinions on it.
Some of my classmates think it is necessary to get online. To their mind, the Internet can make it convenient to study. Through the Internet, they have access to broaden their minds. Besides, they can watch movies, read novels, chat with others and so on. So they don't think that it's bad for us to get online.
In others' opinions, the Internet isn't good for students. Because of the attraction of all kinds of things on the Internet, we sometimes hardly restrain ourselves. They think students should pay more attention to studying. The information will make students lose themselves.
To my mind, getting online has both advantages and disadvantages. If we use the Internet correctly and don't depend too much on it, we will not be rapt in the Internet.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Recently I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online frequently and my classmates hold different opinions on it.

correct_sentence: Recently, I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online frequently and my classmates hold different opinions on it.

correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, when the adverb 〈Recently〉 is used as a sentence-initial adverbial, it needs to be separated from the main clause by a comma; therefore, a 『,』 is added to comply with punctuation rules.

error_sentence: Some of my classmates think it necessary to get online.
correct_sentence: Some of my classmates think it is necessary to get online.
correction: is
error_type: Auxiliary Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Auxiliary Error: According to the rules of English object clause structure, when the verb 〈think〉 is followed by a clause, it needs to maintain a complete subject-verb structure; the original sentence lacks a linking verb, so 『is』 is added to complete the subject-linking verb-predicative structure 〈it〉+『is』+predicative.

error_sentence: To their mind,the Internet can make it convient to study.
correct_sentence: To their mind, the Internet can make it convenient to study.
error: convient
correction: convenient
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: The adjective 〈convient〉 does not conform to the correct spelling; according to English vocabulary rules, it should be changed to 『convenient』 to accurately express the meaning of 'convenient'.

error_sentence: Through the Internet,they have access to braoden their minds.
correct_sentence: Through the Internet, they have access to broaden their minds.
error: braoden
correction: broaden
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: The verb 〈braoden〉 is a misspelling of 〈broaden〉 (to widen); according to English vocabulary rules, it needs to be corrected to 『broaden』 to comply with English verb spelling norms and express the meaning 'to widen'.

error_sentence: Besides,they can wach movies.read novels.cheat with others and so on.
correct_sentence: Besides, they can watch movies, read novels, chat with others and so on.
error: wach movies.read novels.cheat
correction: watch movies, read novels, chat
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to English vocabulary rules, 〈wach〉 is a misspelling of the verb 〈watch〉; it needs to be corrected to 『watch』 to express the meaning 'to watch'; ② Punctuation Error: According to English parallel structure rules, parallel actions should be separated by commas, not periods; therefore, 〈.〉 is changed to 『,』 to maintain sentence coherence; ③ Space Error: According to English written expression norms, a word following a punctuation mark needs to have a space after the punctuation; therefore, 〈.read〉 should be changed to 『, read』 to comply with English written expression norms; ④ Punctuation Error: According to English parallel structure rules, parallel actions should be separated by commas, not periods; therefore, 〈.〉 is changed to 『,』 to maintain sentence coherence; ⑤ Space Error: According to English written expression norms, a word following a punctuation mark needs to have a space after the punctuation; therefore, 〈.cheat〉 should be changed to 『, chat』 to comply with English written expression norms; ⑥ Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the original sentence, the semantics of 〈cheat〉 (to deceive) here do not fit the context; it should be changed to 『chat』 to express the correct meaning of 'to chat'.

error_sentence: Beacuse of the attract of kinds of things in the Internet,we sometimes hardly restrain oyrselves.
correct_sentence: Because of the attraction of all kinds of things on the Internet, we sometimes hardly restrain ourselves.
error: Beacuse
correction: Because
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: The conjunction 〈Beacuse〉 is an incorrect form with the first letter not capitalized; according to English writing conventions, it should be corrected to 『Because』 to express the correct meaning of 'because'.

error_sentence: Beacuse of the attract of kinds of things in the Internet,we sometimes hardly restrain oyrselves.
correct_sentence: Because of the attraction of all kinds of things on the Internet, we sometimes hardly restrain ourselves.
error: attract of
correction: attraction of all
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① PoS Confusion: According to English noun usage rules, a noun form is needed here to express 'attraction'; therefore, the verb 〈attract〉 is changed to the noun 『attraction』; ② Determiner Error: The phrase 〈kinds of things〉 is a general reference; according to English determiner rules, 『all』 needs to be added to clarify the scope, changing it to 『all kinds of things』 to specify the range referred to.

error_sentence: Beacuse of the attract of kinds of things in the Internet,we sometimes hardly restrain oyrselves.
correct_sentence: Because of the attraction of all kinds of things on the Internet, we sometimes hardly restrain ourselves.
error: in
correction: on
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English fixed collocation rules, to express 'on the Internet', the preposition 〈on〉 should be used instead of 〈in〉; therefore, 〈in the Internet〉 is changed to 『on the Internet』.

error_sentence: Beacuse of the attract of kinds of things in the Internet,we sometimes hardly restrain oyrselves.
correct_sentence: Because of the attraction of all kinds of things on the Internet, we sometimes hardly restrain ourselves.
error: oyrselves
correction: ourselves
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: The reflexive pronoun 〈oyrselves〉 is a misspelling of 〈ourselves〉; according to English vocabulary rules, it needs to be corrected to 『ourselves』 to conform to the pronoun form and express the meaning 'ourselves'.

error_sentence: They think students should pay more attention to study.
correct_sentence: They think students should pay more attention to studying.
error: study
correction: studying
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English preposition usage rules, the 〈to〉 in 〈pay attention to〉 is a preposition and should be followed by a gerund; therefore, the base form of the verb 〈study〉 is changed to 『studying』 to comply with grammatical rules and maintain correct sentence structure.

error_sentence: To my mind,getting online has both advantages and disanvantages.
correct_sentence: To my mind, getting online has both advantages and disadvantages.
error: disanvantages
correction: disadvantages
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English vocabulary rules, the noun 〈disanvantages〉 is a misspelling of 〈disadvantages〉 (drawbacks); it needs to be corrected to 『disadvantages』 to express the meaning 'drawbacks' and conform to vocabulary spelling norms.