Writing prompt: Keep Safe at School

Student essay:
Hi,Jim,I'm glad to hear from you. I want to help you solve this problem.
In my opinion,it's important for us to keep safe at school. We spend most of time in school and study at here and we can't avoid getting hurt. Keeping safe can make us study better, so we need to know how to protect ourselves.
I have some advice about keeping safe at school. First, don't run at the passageway and be careful when we go upstairs or downstairs. Second we need to prepare enough before doing sports and make sure that there is no dangerous around us. Third, listen to the teachers carefully and do the dangerous act with teachers protection. Fourth When we do the sports, put safely at first. Don't get hurt to win the games. Then, don't forget to turn off the lights and computer before we leave the classrooms. Last but not least, know some knowledge about keeping safe. It will help us in critical times.
If we follow these advice, our school life will be happier.

Corrected essay:
Hi, Jim, I'm glad to hear from you. I want to help you solve this problem.
In my opinion, it's important for us to keep safe at school. We spend most of our time in school and study here and we can't avoid getting hurt. Keeping safe can make us study better, so we need to know how to protect ourselves.
I have some advice about keeping safe at school. First, don't run in the passageway and be careful when we go upstairs or downstairs. Second we need to prepare enough before doing sports and make sure that there is no danger around us. Third, listen to the teachers carefully and do the dangerous acts with teachers' protection. Fourth when we do sports, put safety first. Don't get hurt to win the games. Then, don't forget to turn off the lights and computer before we leave the classrooms. Last but not least, know some knowledge about keeping safe. It will help us in critical times.
If we follow these pieces of advice, our school life will be happier.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Hi,Jim,I'm glad to hear from you.
correct_sentence: Hi, Jim, I'm glad to hear from you.
error: I'm
correction: I'm
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, spaces are needed between punctuation and words; the original sentence 〈Hi,Jim,I'm〉 lacks spaces, so it needs to be changed to 『Hi, Jim, I'm』 to conform to writing conventions.

error_sentence: We spend most of time in school and study at here and we can't avoid getting hurt.
correct_sentence: We spend most of our time in school and study here and we can't avoid getting hurt.
correction: our
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the phrase 〈most of time〉 in the original sentence lacks a necessary determiner to specify the object; therefore, 『my』 needs to be added before 〈time〉 to clarify possession.

error_sentence: We spend most of time in school and study at here and we can't avoid getting hurt.
correct_sentence: We spend most of our time in school and study here and we can't avoid getting hurt.
error: at
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the preposition 〈at〉 is not needed before the adverb 〈here〉; therefore, 〈study at here〉 needs to be changed to 『study here』 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: First, don't run at the passageway and be careful when we go upstairs or downstairs.
correct_sentence: First, don't run in the passageway and be careful when we go upstairs or downstairs.
error: at
correction: in
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, when expressing activity within a passageway, the preposition 『in』 should be used instead of 〈at〉; therefore, 〈run at the passageway〉 needs to be changed to 『run in the passageway』 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: Second we need to prepare enough before doing sports and make sure that there is no dangerous around us.
correct_sentence: Second we need to prepare enough before doing sports and make sure that there is no danger around us.
error: dangerous
correction: danger
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: According to the context, 〈dangerous〉 is an adjective, but a noun is needed here as a predicative; therefore, 〈dangerous〉 needs to be changed to 『danger』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: Third, listen to the teachers carefully and do the dangerous act with teachers protection.
correct_sentence: Third, listen to the teachers carefully and do the dangerous acts with teachers' protection.
error: act
correction: acts
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to the context, 〈act〉 in the original sentence should be in the plural form 『acts』 to refer to actions in general, to fit the context.

error_sentence: Third, listen to the teachers carefully and do the dangerous act with teachers protection.
correct_sentence: Third, listen to the teachers carefully and do the dangerous acts with teachers' protection.
correction: '
error_type: Noun Possessive Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Possessive Error: According to English grammar rules, the meaning here is “teachers' protection”; the phrase 〈teachers protection〉 in the original sentence needs to use the possessive form to indicate possession; therefore, 〈teachers protection〉 is changed to 『teachers' protection』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: Fourth When we do the sports, put safely at first.
correct_sentence: Fourth when we do sports, put safety first.
error: When
correction: when
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of a word not at the beginning of a sentence does not need to be capitalized; in the original sentence, 〈When〉 is not at the beginning of the sentence and does not need to be capitalized; therefore, 〈When〉 needs to be changed to 『when』 to conform to conventions.

error_sentence: Fourth When we do the sports, put safely at first.
correct_sentence: Fourth when we do sports, put safety first.
error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the definite article 〈the〉 indicates specificity, but it is not needed when referring to activities in general; therefore, the original phrase 〈do the sports〉 is changed to 『do sports』 to conform to grammar rules.

error_sentence: Fourth When we do the sports, put safely at first.
correct_sentence: Fourth when we do sports, put safety first.
error: safely at
correction: safety
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① PoS Confusion Error: According to the context, 〈safely〉 is an adverb, but a noun is needed here as an object; therefore, 〈safely〉 needs to be changed to 『safety』 to fit the context; ② Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression habits, 〈at〉 in the original phrase is redundant when paired with 〈first〉; therefore, 〈at〉 is deleted, keeping 『put safety first』 for conciseness.

error_sentence: If we follow these advice, our school life will be happier.
correct_sentence: If we follow these pieces of advice, our school life will be happier.
correction: pieces of
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈advice〉 is an uncountable noun and needs to be quantified by the partitive 『pieces of』; therefore, 『pieces of』 needs to be added to make the phrase 『these pieces of advice』 conform to grammar rules.