Writing prompt: Should We Keep Animals in Zoos?

Student essay:
Nowadays, there are more and more endangered animals in the world. In order to protect the animals, so we keep them in zoos. Although this is a good way to protect the animals, and it is not the best life to animals because animals love living in the wild rather than stay in the zoos. Animals will lose their free life if we keep them in the cage instead of living in the wild.
So I think we can't keep the animals in the zoos. We should set the animals who stay in the zoos free in the wild to make them feel free and happy.
It is important for us to keep animals alive. So we must try to protect the animals.

Corrected essay:
Nowadays, there are more and more endangered animals in the world. In order to protect the animals, we keep them in zoos. Although this is a good way to protect the animals, it is not the best life for animals because animals love living in the wild rather than staying in zoos. Animals will lose their free life if we keep them in cages instead of letting them live in the wild.
So I think we can't keep the animals in zoos. We should set the animals who stay in zoos free in the wild to make them feel free and happy.
It is important for us to keep animals alive. So we must try to protect the animals.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: In order to protect the animals, so we keep them in zoos.
correct_sentence: In order to protect the animals, we keep them in zoos.
error: so
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to the grammatical rules of adverbial clauses of purpose, 〈In order to〉 already clearly expresses the purpose relationship, making the conjunction 〈so〉 redundant here. After deleting 〈so〉, the sentence structure becomes the standard adverbial clause of purpose structure 『In order to..., we should...』, making the expression more in line with English grammatical norms.

error_sentence: Although this is a good way to protect the animals, and it is not the best life to animals because animals love living in the wild rather than stay in the zoos.
correct_sentence: Although this is a good way to protect the animals, it is not the best life for animals because animals love living in the wild rather than staying in zoos.
error: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to the usage rules of adverbial clauses of concession, the main clause following a clause introduced by 〈Although〉 does not require the conjunction 〈and〉. Deleting 〈and〉 forms the standard complex sentence structure 『Although this is..., it is...』, making the logical relationship clearer.

error_sentence: Although this is a good way to protect the animals, and it is not the best life to animals because animals love living in the wild rather than stay in the zoos.
correct_sentence: Although this is a good way to protect the animals, it is not the best life for animals because animals love living in the wild rather than staying in zoos.
error: to
correction: for
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to fixed collocation rules, to express 'the best life for...' the preposition 『for』 should be used to form the structure 『the best life for』, not 〈to〉. Therefore, 〈to animals〉 is changed to 『for animals』 to conform to idiomatic expression.

error_sentence: Although this is a good way to protect the animals, and it is not the best life to animals because animals love living in the wild rather than stay in the zoos.
correct_sentence: Although this is a good way to protect the animals, it is not the best life for animals because animals love living in the wild rather than staying in zoos.
error: stay in the
correction: staying in
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to the principle of parallel structure, 〈love living〉 and 〈rather than staying〉 need to maintain consistent nonfinite verb forms. Therefore, the base form verb 〈stay〉 is changed to the gerund 『staying』, forming the parallel structure 『love living rather than staying』; ② Determiner Error: According to the rules for generic noun usage, the plural noun 〈zoos〉 does not require a definite article when used generically. The redundant 〈the〉 is deleted, so that 『 stay in zoos』 correctly expresses the generic concept of 'zoos' as a category.

error_sentence: Animals will lose their free life if we keep them in the cage instead of living in the wild.

correct_sentence: Animals will lose their free life if we keep them in cages instead of letting them live in the wild.

error: the cage
correction: cages
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: According to generic expression rules, to represent the category of 'cages', the plural form 〈cages〉 should be used instead of the specific singular 〈the cage〉. It is changed to 『cages』 to correctly express the plural concept; ② Determiner Error: According to generic expression norms, the definite article 〈the〉 in 〈the cage〉 indicates specificity, which contradicts the generic context. The definite article is deleted, using 『cage』 to correctly express the generic concept.

error_sentence: Animals will lose their free life if we keep them in the cage instead of living in the wild.

correct_sentence: Animals will lose their free life if we keep them in cages instead of letting them live in the wild.

error: living
correction: letting them live
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Sentence Structure Error: According to the principle of logical subject consistency, the subject of the original phrase 〈living〉 is inconsistent with the main clause subject 〈we〉. It is changed to 『letting them live』, which clarifies the agent of the action as 『we』 and maintains the logical relationship with the object 『them』; ② Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to the semantic expression needs, 〈living〉 as a present participle cannot accurately convey the causative meaning of 'allowing to live'. It is changed to 『letting them live』, which both conforms to the usage of causative verbs and maintains sentence structural integrity.

error_sentence: So I think we can't keep the animals in the zoos.
correct_sentence: So I think we can't keep the animals in zoos.
error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to the rules for generic noun usage, the plural noun 〈zoos〉 does not require a definite article when used generically. The redundant 〈the〉 is deleted, so that 『 stay in zoos』 correctly expresses the generic concept of 'zoos' as a category.

error_sentence: We should set the animals who stay in the zoos free in the wild to make them feel free and happy.

correct_sentence: We should set the animals who stay in zoos free in the wild to make them feel free and happy.

error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to the rules for generic noun usage, the plural noun 〈zoos〉 does not require a definite article when used generically. The redundant 〈the〉 is deleted, so that 『 stay in zoos』 correctly expresses the generic concept of 'zoos' as a category.