Writing prompt: A Trip of Happiness

Student essay:
Hello,let me make a self-introduction.My name is Lucy--an American who lives in New York.Last week,my mom took me to Beijing in order to let me feel the tradional culture of China.
In the first day,3rd November,we took a plane to there and we arrived there at 16 o' clock in the next day.Then we visited the Forbidden City.How big and beautiful it is!I was attracted deeply with the beauty.
We had stayed there for 4 days and we had visited almost the places of interest.How difficult was it for me to leave such a great city!I am looking forward to the next trip to China.I cannot miss it for ever.

Corrected essay:
Hello, let me make a self-introduction. My name is Lucy--an American who lives in New York. Last week, my mom took me to Beijing in order to let me feel the traditional culture of China.
On the first day, 3rd November, we took a plane there and we arrived there at 16 o'clock the next day. Then we visited the Forbidden City. How big and beautiful it is! I was attracted deeply by its beauty.
We stayed there for 4 days and visited almost all the places of interest. How difficult it was for me to leave such a great city! I am looking forward to the next trip to China. I cannot miss it for ever.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Last week,my mom took me to Beijing in order to let me feel the tradional culture of China.

correct_sentence: Last week, my mom took me to Beijing in order to let me feel the traditional culture of China.

error: tradional
correction: traditional
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is clear that the intended expression here is “traditional”, therefore 〈tradional〉 is a misspelling of 『traditional』, and 〈tradional〉 needs to be changed to 『traditional』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: In the first day,3rd November,we took a plane to there and we arrived there at 16 o' clock in the next day.
correct_sentence: On the first day, 3rd November, we took a plane there and we arrived there at 16 o'clock the next day.
error: In
correction: On
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the preposition 『On』 is needed to describe a specific day; 〈In〉 in the original sentence does not fit the meaning, therefore 〈In the first day〉 needs to be changed to 『On the first day』 to correctly introduce the adverbial of time.

error_sentence: In the first day,3rd November,we took a plane to there and we arrived there at 16 o' clock in the next day.
correct_sentence: On the first day, 3rd November, we took a plane there and we arrived there at 16 o'clock the next day.
error: day,3rd
correction: day, 3rd
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space is needed between punctuation and a word; the original sentence 〈day,3rd〉 lacks a space, therefore 〈day,3rd〉 needs to be changed to 『day, 3rd』 to conform to writing conventions.

error_sentence: In the first day,3rd November,we took a plane to there and we arrived there at 16 o' clock in the next day.
correct_sentence: On the first day, 3rd November, we took a plane there and we arrived there at 16 o'clock the next day.
error: to
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the preposition 〈to〉 is not needed before the adverb 〈there〉, therefore 〈took a plane to there〉 needs to be changed to 『took a plane there』 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: In the first day,3rd November,we took a plane to there and we arrived there at 16 o' clock in the next day.
correct_sentence: On the first day, 3rd November, we took a plane there and we arrived there at 16 o'clock the next day.
error: o' clock in
correction: o'clock
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is clear that the intended expression here is “o'clock”; the original sentence 〈o' clock〉 contains a space, therefore 〈o' clock〉 is a misspelling of 『o'clock』, and 〈o' clock〉 needs to be changed to 『o'clock』 to make the sentence coherent; ② Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, the time expression 〈16 o'clock〉 is directly followed by the time adverbial 〈the next day〉, without needing the preposition 〈in〉, therefore 〈16 o' clock in the next day〉 needs to be changed to 『16 o'clock i the next day』 to conform to grammar.

error_sentence: How big and beautiful it is!I was attracted deeply with the beauty.

correct_sentence: How big and beautiful it is! I was attracted deeply by its beauty.

error: is!I
correction: is! I
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space is needed between punctuation and a word; the original sentence 〈is!I〉 lacks a space, therefore 〈is!I〉 needs to be changed to 『is! I』 to conform to writing conventions.

error_sentence: How big and beautiful it is!I was attracted deeply with the beauty.

correct_sentence: I was attracted deeply by its beauty.

error: with the
correction: by its
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Preposition Error: According to the context, the meaning here is “be attracted”; 〈with〉 in the original sentence is not suitable for expressing the meaning of being attracted, therefore 〈with〉 needs to be changed to 『by』 to indicate the agent of the action, in order to conform to the semantics; ② Pronoun Error: According to the sentence meaning, the intended expression here is “its beauty”; 〈the〉 in the original sentence does not fit the meaning, therefore 〈the〉 is changed to 『its』 to express possession and conform to the context.

error_sentence: We had stayed there for 4 days and we had visited almost the places of interest.
correct_sentence: We stayed there for 4 days and visited almost all the places of interest.
error: had
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple past tense should be used, whereas 〈had stayed〉 in the original sentence is in the past perfect tense, therefore 〈had stayed〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『stayed』 to conform to the context.

error_sentence: We had stayed there for 4 days and we had visited almost the places of interest.
correct_sentence: We stayed there for 4 days and visited almost all the places of interest.
error: we had
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression habits, if a phrase appears twice, only one should be kept; in the original sentence, 〈we had〉 appears twice, therefore deleting the second redundant 〈we had〉 can make the sentence more concise without affecting its meaning.

error_sentence: We had stayed there for 4 days and we had visited almost the places of interest.
correct_sentence: We stayed there for 4 days and visited almost all the places of interest.
correction: all
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits and the context, the intended expression here is “almost all the places of interest”, therefore 〈almost the places of interest〉 is changed to 『almost all the places of interest』 to conform to expression norms and the context.

error_sentence: How difficult was it for me to leave such a great city!I am looking forward to the next trip to China.
correct_sentence: How difficult it was for me to leave such a great city!
error: was it
correction: it was
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Order Error: According to English grammatical structure, the structure of an exclamatory sentence should be “How + adjective + subject + verb”; the word order of 〈was it〉 in the original sentence is incorrect, therefore 〈was it〉 needs to be changed to 『it was』 to conform to the structure of an exclamatory sentence.

error_sentence: How difficult was it for me to leave such a great city!I am looking forward to the next trip to China.
correct_sentence: How difficult it was for me to leave such a great city! I am looking forward to the next trip to China.
error: city!I
correction: city! I
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space is needed between punctuation and a word; the original sentence 〈city!I〉 lacks a space, therefore 〈city!I〉 needs to be changed to 『city! I』 to conform to writing conventions.