Writing prompt: After-School Activities

Student essay:
Nowdays,after-school activities are becoming more and more popular in high schools.
In our school,there are various kinds of sports and cultural study clubs that students may join.Students are free to choose the clubs they are particularly interested in.For example,I like dance very much,so I take part in the dance club.Over there I can build my body and free myself from the heavy work of study.And at the same time I can also make some new friends who have the same interest with me.In addition,I join the English corner.We always watch some interesting English movies together in the free time.Thanks to that,I improve my hearing English and get better grades in the English exams.
Here I have some suggestions about how to choose the activites.First,you'd better choose the activities which interest you and suit you.Second,make sure that you can really benefit a lot from that.
Let's enjoy after-school activities and our life will be more colourful and wonderful.

Corrected essay:
Nowadays, after-school activities are becoming more and more popular in high schools.
In our school, there are various kinds of sports and cultural study clubs that students may join. Students are free to choose the clubs they are particularly interested in. For example, I like dancing very much, so I take part in the dance club. Over there I can build my body and free myself from the heavy work of study. And at the same time, I can also make some new friends who have the same interests as me. In addition, I join the English corner. We always watch some interesting English movies together in our free time. Thanks to that, I improve my English listening skills and get better grades in the English exams.
Here I have some suggestions about how to choose the activities. First, you'd better choose the activities which interest you and suit you. Second, make sure that you can really benefit a lot from them.
Let's enjoy after-school activities and our life will be more colourful and wonderful.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Nowdays,after-school activities are becoming more and more popular in high schools.

correct_sentence: Nowadays, after-school activities are becoming more and more popular in high schools.

error: Nowdays
correction: Nowadays
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it intends to express 'nowadays'; 〈Nowdays〉 is a misspelling of 『Nowadays』, so 〈Nowdays〉 needs to be changed to 『Nowadays』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: For example,I like dance very much,so I take part in the dance club.
correct_sentence: For example, I like dancing very much, so I take part in the dance club.
error: dance
correction: dancing
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, the verb 〈like〉 should be followed by a gerund to express a continuous action, conforming to the fixed phrase 'like doing'. The original word 〈dance〉 is in its base form, which is a nonfinite verb form error; 〈dance〉 needs to be changed to 『dancing』 to comply with grammatical rules.

error_sentence: And at the same time I can also make some new friends who have the same interest with me.
correct_sentence: And at the same time, I can also make some new friends who have the same interests as me.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, when 〈And at the same time〉 is used as an introductory adverbial phrase, it should be separated from the main clause by a comma. The original sentence omits the comma; a 『,』 should be added after 〈And at the same time〉 to comply with English punctuation rules and clearly separate the adverbial phrase of time from the main clause structure.

error_sentence: And at the same time I can also make some new friends who have the same interest with me.
correct_sentence: And at the same time, I can also make some new friends who have the same interests as me.
error: interest with
correction: interests as
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: According to the sentence meaning, 〈interest〉 refers to multiple common interests and needs to be in the plural form; 〈interest〉 should be changed to 『interests』; ② Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, 'the same...as' is a fixed phrase meaning 'the same as...'; the original word 〈with〉 does not conform to this collocation rule and should be changed to 『as』.

error_sentence: We always watch some interesting English movies together in the free time.
correct_sentence: We always watch some interesting English movies together in our free time.
error: the
correction: our
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Determiner Error: According to the sentence meaning, the definite article 〈the〉 in 〈the free time〉 is used inappropriately as it fails to clearly indicate the possessive relationship with the subject 〈We〉. 『our』 is needed to clearly indicate 'our' free time; the original 〈the〉 is a determiner error and should be changed to 『our』 to ensure clarity and accuracy of meaning.

error_sentence: Thanks to that,I improve my hearing English and get better grades in the English exams.

correct_sentence: Thanks to that, I improve my English listening skills and get better grades in the English exams.

error: hearing English
correction: English listening skills
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: According to English expression habits, 〈hearing English〉 does not conform to the expression for English learning ability; it should be changed to 『English listening skills』, where 〈listening skills〉 is a fixed noun phrase, to accurately express the meaning of 'improving English listening skills'.

error_sentence: Here I have some suggestions about how to choose the activites.
correct_sentence: Here I have some suggestions about how to choose the activities.
error: activites
correction: activities
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it intends to express 'activities'; therefore, the word 〈activites〉 is a misspelling of 『activities』 and needs to be changed to 『activities』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: First,you'd better choose the activities which interest you and suit you.
correct_sentence: First, you'd better choose the activities which interest you and suit you.
error: you'd
correction: you'd
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a necessary space is missing after the comma in 〈First,you'd〉; 〈First,you'd〉 should be changed to 『First, you'd』 to comply with English writing conventions.

error_sentence: Second,make sure that you can really benefit a lot from that.

correct_sentence: Second, make sure that you can really benefit a lot from them.

error: that
correction: them
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to the context, the pronoun 〈that〉 has an unclear reference; the preceding noun 〈activities〉 is plural, so 『them』 is needed to refer back to the plural noun 〈activities〉, maintaining pronoun-antecedent agreement. Therefore, 〈that〉 should be changed to 『them』.