Writing prompt: Should Students Be Allowed to Use Cellphones at School?

Student essay:
Nowadays, cellphones are becoming more and more popular in the middle school. Whether students can take cellphones to school, different people have different opinions about this question.
Someone agrees with that students should be allowed to use cellphones in classrooms. They think cellphones have many useful tools such as recordings, videos and also dictionaries. Students can use them in class that can take notes easily. Besides someone thinks students will easily get contact with their parents if they are under a lot of pressure.
As each coin has two sides. Someone thinks it does harm to students if they use cellphones in classrooms.They believed classrooms are place where students study. If students take cellphones to classrooms they manage to study. If cellphones ring on the class which will affect the teacher and classmates.
There is no denying that the cellphones may do harm to us sometimes, but in my opinion, only if we use cellphones at a proper time and a proper place then can we make the phone bring more benefits to ourselves.

Corrected essay:
Nowadays, cellphones are becoming more and more popular in middle schools. Whether students can take cellphones to school, different people have different opinions about this question.
Someone agrees that students should be allowed to use cellphones in classrooms. They think cellphones have many useful tools such as recording apps, videos and also dictionaries. Students can use mobile phones that allow them to take notes easily in class. Besides, someone thinks students can easily get in contact with their parents if they are under a lot of pressure.
As each coin has two sides, someone thinks it does harm to students if they use cellphones in classrooms. They believe classrooms are places where students study. If students take cellphones to classrooms, they may fail to manage to study. If cellphones ring in class, it will affect the teacher and classmates.
There is no denying that the cellphones may do harm to us sometimes, but in my opinion, only if we use cellphones at a proper time and in a proper place then can we make the phone bring more benefits to ourselves.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Nowadays, cellphones are becoming more and more popular in the middle school.
correct_sentence: Nowadays, cellphones are becoming more and more popular in middle schools.
error: the middle school
correction: middle schools
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, "middle school" here represents a general concept and does not require the definite article 〈the〉; 〈the〉 should be removed; ② Noun Number Error: Considering the context, this describes the general situation in multiple middle schools, not a specific one, so the noun "school" should be in plural form. According to grammatical rules, 〈middle school〉 should be changed to the plural form 『middle schools』 to meet contextual and semantic requirements.

error_sentence: Someone agrees with that students should be allowed to use cellphones in classrooms.
correct_sentence: Someone agrees that students should be allowed to use cellphones in classrooms.
error: with
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Word Redundancy Error: According to English grammar rules and common usage, when the verb "agree" is followed by a that-clause meaning "agree that...", it directly takes the clause without needing the preposition "with" to connect. Therefore, 〈with〉 should be deleted for the sentence to conform to correct grammar and concise expression requirements.

error_sentence: They think cellphones have many useful tools such as recordings, videos and also dictionaries.
correct_sentence: They think cellphones have many useful tools such as recording apps, videos and also dictionaries.
error: recordings
correction: recording apps
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Noun Error: According to English grammar and context, 〈recordings〉 in English usually refers to recorded products, while the original sentence intends to express tools on a mobile phone with recording functions. For accurate meaning, 〈recordings〉 should be changed to the more specific, tool-indicating 『recording apps』.

error_sentence: Students can use them in class that can take notes easily.
correct_sentence: Students can use mobile phones that allow them to take notes easily in class.
error: them in class that can
correction: mobile phones that allow them to
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: In the original sentence, the reference of 〈them〉 is unclear and might be misinterpreted in context as referring to "tools" etc. from the preceding text, whereas it actually intends to mean "mobile phones"; to avoid ambiguity, 〈them〉 should be explicitly changed to 『mobile phones』; ② Sentence Structure Error: In the original sentence, the relative clause introduced by "in class that can" is logically confused and unclear in meaning. According to English grammar and common usage, it needs to be restructured as 『that allow them to』 to make the sentence structure clear and accurately express that mobile phones have the function of allowing students to take notes conveniently.

error_sentence: Students can use them in class that can take notes easily.
correct_sentence: Students can use mobile phones that allow them to take notes easily in class.
correction: in class
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Word Order Error: According to English expression habits, the position of the adverbial 〈in class〉 in the sentence is improper; it should usually be placed at the end of the sentence. Therefore, 〈in class〉 should be moved to the end of the sentence to make the expression conform to common usage.

error_sentence: Besides someone thinks students will easily get contact with their parents if they are under a lot of pressure.

correct_sentence: Besides, someone thinks students can easily get in contact with their parents if they are under a lot of pressure.

correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, when the adverb 〈Besides〉 is used as a transitional word at the beginning of a sentence, serving to connect contexts, it needs to be followed by a comma to separate the sentence, making the sentence structure clear and the meaning coherent. Therefore, a comma 『,』 should be added after 〈Besides〉.

error_sentence: Besides someone thinks students will easily get contact with their parents if they are under a lot of pressure.

correct_sentence: Besides, someone thinks students can easily get in contact with their parents if they are under a lot of pressure.

error: will
correction: can
error_type: Auxiliary Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Auxiliary Error: According to English grammar and context, the auxiliary verb 〈will〉 is usually used to express future certainty. However, in the context of this sentence, the intention is to express the students' ability to contact their parents under pressure, emphasizing possibility rather than certainty. Therefore, 〈will〉 should be changed to the auxiliary verb 『can』, which expresses ability, to accurately convey the meaning.

error_sentence: Besides someone thinks students will easily get contact with their parents if they are under a lot of pressure.

correct_sentence: Besides, someone thinks students can easily get in contact with their parents if they are under a lot of pressure.

correction: in
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Preposition Error: In English, "get in contact with" is a fixed phrase meaning "to get in touch with...". The original sentence is missing the preposition 〈in〉. According to English expression habits and fixed collocation rules, the preposition 『in』 must be added to form the correct expression, making the sentence conform to idiomatic grammar.

error_sentence: As each coin has two sides. Someone thinks it does harm to students if they use cellphones in classrooms.
correct_sentence: As each coin has two sides, someone thinks it does harm to students if they use cellphones in classrooms.
error: . Someone
correction: , someone
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: In English grammar, "As each coin has two sides" is an adverbial clause used to introduce the following main clause content. To avoid sentence fragmentation and ensure coherent sentence structure, according to punctuation rules, an adverbial clause should be followed by a comma to connect to the main clause. Therefore, 〈. Someone〉 should be changed to a comma 『, someone』.

error_sentence: They believed classrooms are place where students study.
correct_sentence: They believe classrooms are places where students study.
error: believed
correction: believe
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar and context, this sentence expresses a general fact, and the context tense is simple present. In the original sentence, "believed" is in the past tense, which does not meet the tense requirement. To maintain tense consistency, the past tense 〈believed〉 should be changed to the simple present form 『believe』.

error_sentence: They believed classrooms are place where students study.
correct_sentence: They believe classrooms are places where students study.
error: place
correction: places
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: In this sentence, the subject 〈classrooms〉 is in plural form. According to the principle of subject-predicate agreement in English grammar, the predicative noun should also use the corresponding plural form. In the original sentence, "place" is singular, which does not meet the requirement, and should be changed to the plural form 『places』 to make the sentence more accurate both grammatically and semantically.

error_sentence: If students take cellphones to classrooms they manage to study.
correct_sentence: If students take cellphones to classrooms, they may fail to manage to study.
error: they
correction: , they may fail to
error_type: Other Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Other Error: Considering the contextual meaning, bringing cellphones into the classroom often interferes with learning; it should express a negative meaning, i.e., students may not be able to study successfully. The original sentence "If students take cellphones to classrooms they manage to study." expresses that students can successfully study if they bring cellphones to classrooms, which is inconsistent with common sense. Therefore, "may fail to" needs to be added to reflect this correct logical relationship, making the sentence's meaning consistent with the actual situation.

error_sentence: If cellphones ring on the class which will affect the teacher and classmates.

correct_sentence: If cellphones ring in class, it will affect the teacher and classmates.

error: on the class which
correction: in class, it
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Preposition Error: In English, "in class" is a fixed phrase for "in the classroom". The use of 〈on the class〉 in the original sentence does not conform to common usage; the preposition 〈on〉 should be changed to 『in』; ② Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence uses a relative clause "which will..." with a confused structure that does not fit the semantic logic. Therefore, 〈which〉 should be changed to the pronoun 『it』 to make the sentence structure logically connected and accurately express the meaning "if cellphones ring in class, it will affect the teacher and classmates".

error_sentence: There is no denying that the cellphones may do harm to us sometimes, but in my opinion, only if we use cellphones at a proper time and a proper place then can we make the phone bring more benefits to ourselves.
correct_sentence: There is no denying that the cellphones may do harm to us sometimes, but in my opinion, only if we use cellphones at a proper time and in a proper place then can we make the phone bring more benefits to ourselves.
correction: in
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Preposition Error: In English, when "at a proper time" and "in a proper place" form a parallel structure, to maintain consistency in preposition use, "in a proper place" should use the preposition "in". In the original sentence, the preposition in "at a proper place" is used incorrectly; according to English expression habits, 〈at〉 needs to be changed to 『in』 to make the expression conform to idiomatic grammar.