Writing prompt: The Way to Keep Health

Student essay:
Nowadays everyone put more and more attention to which is their own health in daily life. As students, we are important to get across to more things that are about how to keep fit. We can enrich our knowledge by this way. Firstly, we should not be crazy about less food which is rich in fat and sugar. Because in most of our time we sit, if we do as this, we will become fat easily. As we all know that sugar can make our fellings become slow. So we should enjoy tasting a variety of vegetables and fruits' delicious every day. There was a proverb saying that you are what you ate. If you want to be thin and healthy, keep doing like this. Secondly, we should take good use of exercise every day to make us go fine, not only sports can be done in P. E. class. By this way, we will be in a balanced diet which is the most people expected. We can invigorate health effectively as the same time. Last but not least, we should embrace correct habits. For example, we should go to sleep early and get awake early. This way gives the spirt of happy study to us.
So we can focus on our work which is enjoying being lost in lessons by heart. We are the flowers of our state, so we are able to become strong. So let us make a healthy life for ourselves.

Corrected essay:
Nowadays everyone pays more and more attention to their own health in daily life. As students, it is important for us to learn more things that are about how to keep fit. We can enrich our knowledge by this way. Firstly, we should not be crazy about eating food which is rich in fat and sugar. Because most of the time we sit, if we do this, we will become fat easily. As we all know, sugar can make our feelings become slow. So we should enjoy tasting a variety of delicious vegetables and fruits every day. There is a proverb saying that you are what you eat. If you want to be thin and healthy, keep doing this. Secondly, we should make good use of exercise every day to make us stay healthy. Not only sports can be done in P.E. class. By this way, we will have a balanced diet which most people expect. We can invigorate our health effectively at the same time. Last but not least, we should embrace correct habits. For example, we should go to sleep early and wake up early. This way gives the spirit of happy study to us. So we can focus on our work and enjoy getting lost in lessons. We are the flowers of our state, so we should become strong. So let us make a healthy life for ourselves.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Nowadays everyone put more and more attention to which is their own health in daily life.
correct_sentence: Nowadays everyone pays more and more attention to their own health in daily life.
error: put
correction: pays
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'pay attention to'. In the original sentence, 〈put〉 means 'to place', which does not fit the meaning. Therefore, 〈put〉 needs to be changed to 『pays』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: Nowadays everyone put more and more attention to which is their own health in daily life.
correct_sentence: Nowadays everyone pays more and more attention to their own health in daily life.
error: which is
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to the context, the meaning here is 'pay attention to health'. The phrase 〈which is〉 in the original sentence is redundant. After deleting it, the sentence still expresses a complete meaning. Therefore, 〈which is〉 is deleted to make the sentence more concise and fluent.

error_sentence: As students, we are important to get across to more things that are about how to keep fit.
correct_sentence: As students, it is important for us to learn more things that are about how to keep fit.
error: we are important to get across to
correction: it is important for us to learn
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Sentence Structure Error: According to English expression habits, the correct structure should be 『it is important for us』, using the formal subject 『it』 instead of 〈we〉. Therefore, 〈we are important to〉 needs to be changed to 『it is important for us to』 to conform to expression habits; ② Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the meaning here is 'to learn'. 〈get across to〉 does not fit the meaning and needs to be replaced with 『learn』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: Firstly, we should not be crazy about less food which is rich in fat and sugar.
correct_sentence: Firstly, we should not be crazy about eating food which is rich in fat and sugar.
error: less
correction: eating
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the meaning here is 'eating food'. The original word 〈less〉 does not fit the context. Therefore, 〈less〉 needs to be changed to 『eating』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: Because in most of our time we sit, if we do as this, we will become fat easily.
correct_sentence: Because most of the time we sit, if we do this, we will become fat easily.
error: in
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the preposition 〈in〉 is not needed before 『most of the time』. Therefore, the redundant preposition 〈in〉 needs to be deleted to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: Because in most of our time we sit, if we do as this, we will become fat easily.
correct_sentence: Because most of the time we sit, if we do this, we will become fat easily.
error: our
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, 『most of the time』 is a fixed expression. The specific determiner 『the』 modifies 〈time〉, indicating 'general time'. Therefore, 〈our〉 needs to be changed to 『the』 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: Because in most of our time we sit, if we do as this, we will become fat easily.
correct_sentence: Because most of the time we sit, if we do this, we will become fat easily.
error: as
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to the context, 『do this』 directly expresses 'do so'. The word 〈as〉 in the original sentence is a redundant component. Therefore, it needs to be deleted to make the sentence more concise and semantically clear.

error_sentence: As we all know that sugar can make our fellings become slow.
correct_sentence: As we all know, sugar can make our feelings become slow.
error: that
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, when 〈As we all know〉 introduces a sentence, a comma is needed to separate the clause from the main clause. Therefore, 〈know that〉 needs to be changed to 『know,』 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: As we all know that sugar can make our fellings become slow.
correct_sentence: As we all know, sugar can make our feelings become slow.
error: fellings
correction: feelings
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'feelings'. Therefore, 〈fellings〉 is a misspelling of 『feelings』. 〈fellings〉 needs to be changed to 『feelings』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: So we should enjoy tasting a variety of vegetables and fruits' delicious every day.
correct_sentence: So we should enjoy tasting a variety of delicious vegetables and fruits every day.
correction: delicious
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Order Error: According to English expression habits, the adjective 〈delicious〉 should precede and modify the noun phrase. Therefore, the original sentence needs to be adjusted to 『a variety of delicious vegetables and fruits』 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: So we should enjoy tasting a variety of vegetables and fruits' delicious every day.
correct_sentence: So we should enjoy tasting a variety of delicious vegetables and fruits every day.
error: ' delicious
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to the context, this part expresses 'a variety of vegetables and fruits'. The original 〈' delicious〉 is redundant. Therefore, 〈' delicious〉 needs to be deleted to make the meaning clearer.

error_sentence: There was a proverb saying that you are what you ate.
correct_sentence: There is a proverb saying that you are what you eat.
error: was
correction: is
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the sentence describes a general truth and requires the present tense. However, 〈was〉 in the original sentence is in the simple past tense. Therefore, 〈was〉 needs to be changed to the simple present tense 『is』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: There was a proverb saying that you are what you ate.
correct_sentence: There is a proverb saying that you are what you eat.
error: ate
correction: eat
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the sentence describes a general truth and requires the present tense. However, 〈ate〉 in the original sentence is in the simple past tense. Therefore, 〈ate〉 needs to be changed to the simple present tense 『eat』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: If you want to be thin and healthy, keep doing like this.
correct_sentence: If you want to be thin and healthy, keep doing this.
error: like
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to the context, 『keep doing this』 directly expresses 'continue doing so'. The word 〈like〉 in the original sentence is a redundant component. Therefore, it needs to be deleted to make the sentence more concise and semantically clear.

error_sentence: Secondly, we should take good use of exercise every day to make us go fine, not only sports can be done in P. E. class.
correct_sentence: Secondly, we should make good use of exercise every day to make us stay healthy.
error: take
correction: make
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'make good use of'. In the original sentence, 〈take〉 does not fit the meaning. Therefore, 〈take〉 needs to be changed to 『make』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: Secondly, we should take good use of exercise every day to make us go fine, not only sports can be done in P. E. class.
correct_sentence: Secondly, we should make good use of exercise every day to make us stay healthy. Not only sports can be done in P.E. class.
error: go fine, not
correction: stay healthy. Not
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'stay healthy'. In the original sentence, 〈go fine〉 does not fit the meaning. Therefore, 〈go fine〉 needs to be changed to 『stay healthy』 to fit the context; ② Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, a period is needed to separate two independent main clauses to avoid a run-on sentence. In the original sentence, 〈we should take good use of...〉 and 〈not only sports can be done in P. E. class〉 are two main clauses. Therefore, 〈, not〉 is changed to 『. Not』 to conform to grammar.

error_sentence: Secondly, we should take good use of exercise every day to make us go fine, not only sports can be done in P. E. class.
correct_sentence: Not only sports can be done in P.E. class.
error: P. E.
correction: P.E.
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, no space is needed in the middle of the abbreviation 〈P. E.〉. Therefore, 〈P. E.〉 needs to be changed to 『P.E.』 to conform to conventions.

error_sentence: By this way, we will be in a balanced diet which is the most people expected.
correct_sentence: By this way, we will have a balanced diet which most people expect.
error: be in
correction: have
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to English grammar rules, the verb 'be' appearing alone means 'is/exists'. In the original sentence, 〈be in〉 does not fit the meaning. Therefore, 〈be in〉 needs to be replaced with 『have』 to conform to English grammar.

error_sentence: By this way, we will be in a balanced diet which is the most people expected.
correct_sentence: By this way, we will have a balanced diet which most people expect.
error: is the
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to the context, the meaning here is 'most people expect'. The phrase 〈is the〉 in the original sentence is redundant. Removing it makes the meaning clearer. Therefore, 〈is the〉 is deleted to fit the context.

error_sentence: By this way, we will be in a balanced diet which is the most people expected.
correct_sentence: By this way, we will have a balanced diet which most people expect.
error: expected
correction: expect
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple present tense should be used here. However, 〈expected〉 in the original sentence is in the simple past tense. Therefore, 〈expected〉 needs to be changed to the simple present tense 『expect』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: We can invigorate health effectively as the same time.
correct_sentence: We can invigorate our health effectively at the same time.
correction: our
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the noun 〈health〉 in the original sentence lacks a necessary determiner to specify the object. Therefore, 『our』 needs to be added before 〈health〉 to clarify possession.

error_sentence: We can invigorate health effectively as the same time.
correct_sentence: We can invigorate our health effectively at the same time.
error: as
correction: at
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the meaning here is 'at the same time'. The usage of 〈as〉 in the original sentence is incorrect. Therefore, 〈as〉 needs to be changed to 『at』 to correctly express the meaning 'at the same time'.

error_sentence: For example, we should go to sleep early and get awake early.
correct_sentence: For example, we should go to sleep early and wake up early.
error: get awake
correction: wake up
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'to wake up'. In the original sentence, 〈get awake〉 means 'to become conscious', which does not fit the meaning. Therefore, 〈get awake〉 needs to be changed to 『wake up』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: This way gives the spirt of happy study to us.

correct_sentence: This way gives the spirit of happy study to us.
error: spirt
correction: spirit
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'spirit'. Therefore, 〈spirt〉 is a misspelling of 『spirit』. 〈spirt〉 needs to be changed to 『spirit』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: This way gives the spirt of happy study to us.

correct_sentence: This way gives the spirit of happy study to us. So we can focus on our work and enjoy getting lost in lessons.
error: 

error_type: Format Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: Format Error: According to the context, these two paragraphs should be merged into one. Therefore, the extra newline character in the paragraph should be deleted to keep the article format tidy.

error_sentence: So we can focus on our work which is enjoying being lost in lessons by heart.
correct_sentence: So we can focus on our work and enjoy getting lost in lessons.
error: which is enjoying being
correction: and enjoy getting
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Relative Word Error: According to the context, the meaning here is 'enjoy getting lost in lessons'. The original sentence misuses an adjective clause and should be changed to a parallel structure. Therefore, 〈which is enjoying〉 needs to be changed to 『and enjoy』 to fit the context; ② Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'getting lost'. In the original sentence, 〈being〉 does not fit the meaning. Therefore, 〈being〉 needs to be changed to 『getting』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: So we can focus on our work which is enjoying being lost in lessons by heart.
correct_sentence: So we can focus on our work and enjoy getting lost in lessons.
error: by heart
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to the context, 〈by heart〉 in the original sentence is semantically repetitive with 〈enjoying being lost〉, causing word redundancy. Therefore, 〈by heart〉 needs to be deleted to make the sentence more concise.

error_sentence: We are the flowers of our state, so we are able to become strong.
correct_sentence: We are the flowers of our state, so we should become strong.
error: are able to
correction: should
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the intention here is to express 'should'. The original phrase 〈are able to〉 does not fit the meaning. Therefore, 〈are able to〉 needs to be changed to 『should』 to more accurately express obligation or suggestion.