Writing prompt: The Early Bird Catches the Worm

Student essay:
In my life,I frequently sound a proverb is that:"the early bird catches the worm." which gives me benefits on both study and life.
The proverb means :the more diligent wo give ,the more gains wo will have. For example, my junior high school classmate which was not good at study,he liked playing computer,but in someday he suddenly knows that study is more essential than playing computer .So from that time,he forced himself to study for junior high school graduation test and didn't playing computer from that time,he spent more and more time on study.In thus,he got a very good score at last. He put more diligent on study,so he gain the success.
"The early bird catches the worm." This is a useful proverb ,I hope every student can keep it in mind

Corrected essay:
In my life, I frequently hear a proverb, "The early bird catches the worm," which benefits me in both study and life.
The proverb means: the more diligence we give, the more gains we will have. For example, my junior high school classmate, who was not good at studying, but liked playing computer games, one day suddenly realized that studying is more essential than playing computer games. So from that time, he forced himself to study for the junior high school graduation test and didn't play computer games anymore. He spent more and more time studying. In this way, he got a very good score at last. He put more effort into studying, so he gained success.
"The early bird catches the worm." This is a useful proverb. I hope every student can keep it in mind.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: In my life,I frequently sound a proverb is that:"the early bird catches the worm."
correct_sentence: In my life, I frequently hear a proverb, "The early bird catches the worm," which benefits me in both study and life.

error: sound
correction: hear
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to English verb-object collocation rules, 〈sound〉 means 'to seem when heard' (sensory verb) and cannot be collocated with a proverb quotation. Here, the verb 『hear』, meaning 'to be told a proverb', is needed to form the correct collocation 『hear the saying』.

error_sentence: In my life,I frequently sound a proverb is that:"the early bird catches the worm."
correct_sentence: In my life, I frequently hear a proverb, "The early bird catches the worm," which benefits me in both study and life.

error: is that:"the
correction: , "The
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English direct quotation rules, a comma 〈,〉, not a colon, should be used to connect the main clause when quoting a proverb, changing to 『we often hear, "The...』; ② Case Error: According to English proverb writing conventions, the first letter of the quotation should be capitalized, changing 〈the〉 to 『The』 to form the standard format 『"The early bird..."』.

error_sentence: In my life,I frequently sound a proverb is that:"the early bird catches the worm."
correct_sentence: In my life, I frequently hear a proverb, "The early bird catches the worm," which benefits me in both study and life.

error: .
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English relative clause punctuation rules, a non-restrictive relative clause needs a comma to connect to the main clause; the period 〈.〉 should be changed to 『,』 to form the correct structure 『diligence, which』.

error_sentence: which gives me benefits on both study and life.

correct_sentence: In my life, I frequently hear a proverb, "The early bird catches the worm," which benefits me in both study and life.

error: gives me benefits on
correction: benefits me in
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: According to English collocation habits, the structure 〈gives me benefits〉 does not conform to idiomatic expression and should be changed to 『benefits me』 (verb + object) to accurately express the meaning 'benefits me'; ② Word Redundancy Error: According to the principle of conciseness, the noun 〈benefits〉 in the revised 『benefits me』 already includes the meaning of 'advantages', so it is directly deleted to avoid repetition; ③ Preposition Error: According to English fixed collocation rules, the preposition 〈on〉 following 〈benefits〉 does not conform to idiomatic expression and should be changed to 『in』 to form the structure 『benefits me in...』, correctly expressing 'brings benefits in a certain aspect'.

error_sentence: The proverb means :the more diligent wo give ,the more gains wo will have.
correct_sentence: The proverb means: the more diligence we give, the more gains we will have.
error: diligent wo
correction: diligence we
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① PoS Confusion Error: According to English sentence component requirements, a noun is required after the preposition 〈of〉; the adjective 〈diligent〉 should be changed to the noun 『diligence』 to form the correct collocation 『of diligence』; ② Spelling Error: According to English personal pronoun spelling conventions, the misspelled 〈wo〉 should be changed to the first-person plural nominative 『we』, expressing 'we'.

error_sentence: The proverb means :the more diligent wo give ,the more gains wo will have.
correct_sentence: The proverb means: the more diligence we give, the more gains we will have.
error: wo
correction: we
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English personal pronoun spelling conventions, the misspelled 〈wo〉 should be changed to the first-person plural nominative 『we』, expressing 'we'.

error_sentence: For example, my junior high school classmate which was not good at study,he liked playing computer,but in someday he suddenly knows that study is more essential than playing computer .So from that time,he forced himself to study for junior high school graduation test and didn't playing computer from that time,he spent more and more time on study.
correct_sentence: For example, my junior high school classmate, who was not good at studying, but liked playing computer games, one day suddenly realized that studying is more essential than playing computer games.
error: which
correction: , who
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to non-restrictive relative clause rules, a comma 〈,〉 should be added after 〈classmate〉 to form the standard structure 『my classmate, who』; ② Relative Word Error: According to English relative pronoun usage, the antecedent 〈classmate〉 referring to a person requires 『who』 instead of 〈which〉, changing to 『who always』.

error_sentence: For example, my junior high school classmate which was not good at study,he liked playing computer,but in someday he suddenly knows that study is more essential than playing computer .So from that time,he forced himself to study for junior high school graduation test and didn't playing computer from that time,he spent more and more time on study.
correct_sentence: For example, my junior high school classmate, who was not good at studying, but liked playing computer games, one day suddenly realized that studying is more essential than playing computer games.
error: study,he
correction: studying, but
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English preposition collocation rules, a gerund is required after the preposition 〈at〉; the noun 〈study〉 should be changed to 『studying』 to form the correct structure 『at studying』; ② Space Error: According to English punctuation usage conventions, the run-on 〈study,he〉 should be changed to 『studying, but』, ensuring a space after the comma; ③ Conjunction Error: According to English compound sentence rules, a contrasting coordinate clause requires 『but』 for connection; add 『but』 to form the complete structure 『studying, but...』; ④ Pronoun Error: As can be seen from the original sentence, this is a 'not...but...' structure, and the subjects of the two clauses are the same, so the redundant pronoun 〈he〉 needs to be deleted to keep the sentence structure clear and concise.

error_sentence: For example, my junior high school classmate which was not good at study,he liked playing computer,but in someday he suddenly knows that study is more essential than playing computer .So from that time,he forced himself to study for junior high school graduation test and didn't playing computer from that time,he spent more and more time on study.
correct_sentence: For example, my junior high school classmate, who was not good at studying, but liked playing computer games, one day suddenly realized that studying is more essential than playing computer games.
error: ,but in someday he suddenly knows that study
correction: games, one day suddenly realized that studying
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Noun Error: According to the meaning of the original sentence, this refers to 'playing computer games', so the noun 『games』 is missing from the original sentence and should be added; ② Word Redundancy Error: After the sentence structure of the original sentence is adjusted, the preceding clause already has a 'not...but...' structure, so the conjunction 〈but〉 here is redundant and should be deleted; ③ Preposition Error: According to English rules for using time adverbials, 〈someday〉 as an adverb meaning 'some day in the future' cannot be used with the preposition 〈in〉; 『someday』 or the more specific 『one day』 should be used directly; ④ Noun Error: For semantic accuracy, 〈someday〉 mainly refers to an indefinite future time; to express the specific concept of 'one day', the noun phrase 『one day』 should be used; ⑤ Pronoun Error: According to the sentence structure of the original sentence, the subject remains unchanged, so the pronoun here can be omitted, thus 〈he〉 should be deleted; ⑥ Verb Choice Error: According to semantic collocation requirements, 〈knows〉 (to know) cannot accurately express the concept of 'to realize' and should be changed to the more appropriate verb 『realized』 (to become aware of); ⑦ Verb Tense Error: According to the principle of tense consistency in context, 〈knows〉 (present simple) should be changed to the past tense 『realized』 to conform to the past time narrative of the entire text; ⑧ Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English subject component grammatical requirements, the base form of the verb 〈study〉 cannot directly serve as the subject and should be changed to the gerund 『studying』 to form the correct structure 『Studying is more essential』.

error_sentence: For example, my junior high school classmate which was not good at study,he liked playing computer,but in someday he suddenly knows that study is more essential than playing computer .So from that time,he forced himself to study for junior high school graduation test and didn't playing computer from that time,he spent more and more time on study.
correct_sentence: For example, my junior high school classmate, who was not good at studying, but liked playing computer games, one day suddenly realized that studying is more essential than playing computer games. So from that time, he forced himself to study for the junior high school graduation test and didn't play computer games anymore.
error: .So
correction: games. So
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: ① Noun Error: According to the meaning of the original sentence, this refers to 'playing computer games', so the noun 『games』 is missing from the original sentence and should be added; ② Space Error: According to English expression conventions, a space should be kept after a period before the next word; 〈.So〉 should be changed to 『. So』 to ensure the sentence structure is independent and complete.

error_sentence: For example, my junior high school classmate which was not good at study,he liked playing computer,but in someday he suddenly knows that study is more essential than playing computer .So from that time,he forced himself to study for junior high school graduation test and didn't playing computer from that time,he spent more and more time on study.
correct_sentence: So from that time, he forced himself to study for the junior high school graduation test and didn't play computer games anymore.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to definite article usage rules, the definite article 『the』 needs to be added before the specific exam name 〈junior high school graduation test〉. 『the』 should be added to clearly indicate a specific object.

error_sentence: For example, my junior high school classmate which was not good at study,he liked playing computer,but in someday he suddenly knows that study is more essential than playing computer .So from that time,he forced himself to study for junior high school graduation test and didn't playing computer from that time,he spent more and more time on study.
correct_sentence: So from that time, he forced himself to study for the junior high school graduation test and didn't play computer games anymore. He spent more and more time studying.
error: playing computer from that time,he
correction: play computer games anymore. He
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to contextual tense consistency, the gerund 〈playing〉 should be changed to the past tense 『play』 to meet the grammatical requirements of past time narration; ② Noun Error: According to the meaning of the original sentence, this refers to 'playing computer games', so the noun 『games』 is missing from the original sentence and should be added; ③ Adverb Error: For semantic expression needs, the phrase 〈from that time〉 fails to accurately convey the meaning of 'no longer' and should be changed to the adverb 『anymore』 to correctly convey the meaning 'no longer play games'; ④ Punctuation Error: According to English punctuation usage conventions, a period should be used to separate two independent complete sentences; the comma in the original sentence needs to be changed to a period; ⑤ Space Error: According to English writing format requirements, a space should be kept between a period and the next word; the immediately following 〈,he〉 needs to be changed to the standard 『. He』; ⑥ Case Error: According to English capitalization rules, the first letter of the first word of a sentence must be capitalized; 〈he〉 needs to be changed to 『He』 to comply with writing conventions.

error_sentence: For example, my junior high school classmate which was not good at study,he liked playing computer,but in someday he suddenly knows that study is more essential than playing computer .So from that time,he forced himself to study for junior high school graduation test and didn't playing computer from that time,he spent more and more time on study.
correct_sentence: He spent more and more time studying.
error: on study
correction: studying
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Preposition Error: According to the collocation principle of the verb 'spend', when expressing spending time and energy on doing something, the structure is 'spend time (in) doing something'; the preposition 〈on〉 should be deleted; ② Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, in the structure 'spend time on doing', the noun form 〈study〉 does not meet grammatical requirements and should be changed to the gerund 『studying』 to correctly form the verb-object structure 『spend time studying』.

error_sentence: In thus,he got a very good score at last.
correct_sentence: In this way, he got a very good score at last.
error: thus
correction: this way
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: According to English conjunction usage conventions, 〈thus〉 as an adverb cannot be directly used with the preposition 〈in〉 to form a transitional phrase; it should be changed to the more appropriate noun phrase 『In this way』 to naturally introduce a concluding statement.

error_sentence: He put more diligent on study,so he gain the success.

correct_sentence: He put more effort into studying, so he gained success.

error: diligent on study
correction: effort into studying
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Noun Error: For the purpose of expressing the meaning, the adjective 〈diligent〉 should be changed to the noun 『effort』 to accurately convey the meaning 'put more effort into studying', forming the reasonable collocation 『put more effort』; ② Preposition Error: According to English fixed collocation rules, 『put more effort』 should be followed by the 'into doing' structure; the preposition 〈on〉 needs to be changed to 『into』 to conform to the correct expression 『put more effort into studying』; ③ Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English requirements for verb forms after prepositions, the preposition 『into』 should be followed by the gerund form; the base form of the verb 〈study〉 needs to be changed to 『studying』.

error_sentence: He put more diligent on study,so he gain the success.

correct_sentence: He put more effort into studying, so he gained success.

error: gain the
correction: gained
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to contextual tense consistency, 〈gain〉 should be changed to the past tense 『gained』 to meet the contextual requirement of past time narration throughout the text; ② Determiner Error: According to English article usage rules, the abstract noun 〈success〉 does not require an article before it; the redundant 〈the〉 should be deleted, changing to 『gained success』.

error_sentence: This is a useful proverb ,I hope every student can keep it in mind
correct_sentence: This is a useful proverb.
error: ,
correction: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English punctuation conventions, the independent complete sentence 『This is a useful proverb』 needs to end with a period; the comma should be changed to make it 『This is a useful proverb.』 to correctly separate two independent sentences.

error_sentence: This is a useful proverb ,I hope every student can keep it in mind
correct_sentence: I hope every student can keep it in mind.
correction: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English sentence structural integrity requirements, a period should be added at the end of the sentence to ensure the sentence structure is standard and complete. Correctly modified to 『I hope every student can keep it in mind.』