Writing prompt: My First Day at Yizhong

Student essay:
Today was the first day of my new life. I looked at my new school and checked everything for the new term. I was excited as well as worried. I was excited because I will become a student of a high school. I was worried because I did not know about the teachers and the students. I was afraid that I could not make friends with them.
When I got school, I found everyone was very friendly. Teachers were kind too. I suddenly forgot my nervousness. I felt that I was at home.
At the end of today, I felt very happy and I believe I will have lots of fan at the new school.

Corrected essay:
Today was the first day of my new life. I looked at my new school and checked everything for the new term. I was excited as well as worried. I was excited because I would become a student of a high school. I was worried because I did not know about the teachers and the students. I was afraid that I could not make friends with them. When I got to school, I found everyone was very friendly. The teachers were kind too. I suddenly forgot my nervousness. I felt that I was at home.
At the end of today, I felt very happy and I believe I will have lots of fun at the new school.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: I was excited because I will become a student of a high school.
correct_sentence: I was excited because I would become a student of a high school.
error: will
correction: would
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: When the main clause uses the past tense 〈was excited〉, the subordinate clause needs to maintain tense consistency; therefore, 〈will〉 is changed to 『would』 to follow English tense consistency rules.

error_sentence: I was afraid that I could not make friends with them.

correct_sentence: I was afraid that I could not make friends with them. When I got to school, I found everyone was very friendly.
error: 

error_type: Punctuation Error
error_description: Punctuation Error: The two independent sentences 〈I was afraid...〉 and 〈When I got...〉 are incorrectly separated into independent paragraphs. Delete the line break to maintain semantic coherence, conforming to English paragraph structure norms.

error_sentence: When I got school, I found everyone was very friendly.
correct_sentence: When I got to school, I found everyone was very friendly.
correction: to
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: The verb 〈got〉 needs the preposition 『to』 added after it to form the fixed phrase “get to + location”; therefore, 『to』 needs to be added before 〈school〉 to clarify the direction of the action.

error_sentence: Teachers were kind too.
correct_sentence: The teachers were kind too.
error: Teachers
correction: The teachers
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: The noun 〈Teachers〉 in this context specifically refers to the previously mentioned “school teachers”; the definite article 『the』 needs to be added to specify the object referred to, so 〈Teachers〉 is changed to 『The teachers』 to make the sentence expression more specific and clear.

error_sentence: At the end of today, I felt very happy and I believe I will have lots of fan at the new school.
correct_sentence: At the end of today, I felt very happy and I believe I will have lots of fun at the new school.
error: fan
correction: fun
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is clear that the intention here is to express “fun”; therefore, 〈fan〉 is a misspelling of 『fun』, and 〈fan〉 needs to be changed to 『fun』 to make the sentence meaning coherent.