Writing prompt: Should High School Students Get Online Frequently?

Student essay:
Some of my classmates hold a quite supportive attitude toward students getting online frequently .The reasons are as follows:firstly ,we can not only have access to knowledge but also broaden our horizons through getting online. furthermore,we can exchange ideas with our friends. What's more the Internet provide a great number of entertainment which make us relax ourselves.
But every coin has two sides,the other students objected to them.They told us getting online freguently dose harm to our seesight. Besides,it took us a large amount of valuable time and energy.What's worse,we may couldn't help to indulging in computergames or chatting with others.
In the end,I'd like to share some of my opinions with you. I think,we should consider the computer to be an important tool.It is necessary for us to make every effort to form a good habit of keeping the balance between learning and the Internet. If everyone of us have good self-controling the Internet will become a close friend of us.

Corrected essay:
Some of my classmates hold a quite supportive attitude toward students getting online frequently. The reasons are as follows: firstly, we can not only have access to knowledge but also broaden our horizons through getting online. Furthermore, we can exchange ideas with our friends. What's more, the Internet provides a great number of entertainment options which make us relax.
But every coin has two sides. The other students object to this. They told us getting online frequently does harm to our eyesight. Besides, it takes us a large amount of valuable time and energy. What's worse, we probably can't help indulging in computer games or chatting with others.
In the end, I'd like to share some of my opinions with you. I think we should consider the computer to be an important tool. It is necessary for us to make every effort to form a good habit of keeping the balance between learning and the Internet. If every one of us has good self-control, the Internet will become a close friend of us.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Some of my classmates hold a quite supportive attitude toward students getting online frequently .The reasons are as follows:firstly ,we can not only have access to knowledge but also broaden our horizons through getting online.
correct_sentence: Some of my classmates hold a quite supportive attitude toward students getting online frequently. The reasons are as follows: firstly, we can not only have access to knowledge but also broaden our horizons through getting online.
error: .The
correction: . The
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, there should be a space between punctuation and a word. In the original sentence, 〈.The〉 lacks a space, so it needs to be changed to 『. The』 to comply with writing conventions.

error_sentence: furthermore,we can exchange ideas with our friends.
correct_sentence: Furthermore, we can exchange ideas with our friends.
error: furthermore
correction: Furthermore
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of a word at the beginning of a sentence needs to be capitalized. In the original sentence, 〈furthermore〉 is at the beginning of the sentence and needs to be capitalized, so 〈furthermore〉 needs to be changed to 『Furthermore』 to comply with conventions.

error_sentence: What's more the Internet provide a great number of entertainment which make us relax ourselves.

correct_sentence: What's more, the Internet provides a great number of entertainment options which make us relax.

correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, when 〈What's more〉 is used as a transitional phrase at the beginning of a sentence, it should be followed by a comma. Therefore, a 『,』 needs to be added after 〈What's more〉 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: What's more the Internet provide a great number of entertainment which make us relax ourselves.

correct_sentence: What's more, the Internet provides a great number of entertainment options which make us relax.

error: provide
correction: provides
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: According to English grammar rules, there is a subject-verb agreement error in the original sentence. The subject 〈the Internet〉 is third-person singular, and the original verb 〈provide〉 is in the third-person plural form. Therefore, the verb 〈provide〉 needs to be changed to the third-person singular form 『provides』 to maintain subject-verb agreement.

error_sentence: What's more the Internet provide a great number of entertainment which make us relax ourselves.

correct_sentence: What's more, the Internet provides a great number of entertainment options which make us relax.

correction: options
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Error: According to the context, the intention here is to express 'entertainment choices'. The original word 〈entertainment〉 is an uncountable noun and lacks a noun to collocate with 〈a great number of〉. Therefore, 『options』 needs to be added to make the meaning clearer.

error_sentence: What's more the Internet provide a great number of entertainment which make us relax ourselves.

correct_sentence: What's more, the Internet provides a great number of entertainment options which make us relax.

error: ourselves
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to the context, in the original sentence, 〈make us relax〉 and the subsequent 〈ourselves〉 are semantically repetitive, causing word redundancy. Therefore, 〈ourselves〉 needs to be deleted to make the sentence more concise.

error_sentence: But every coin has two sides,the other students objected to them.
correct_sentence: But every coin has two sides. The other students object to this.
error: ,the
correction: . The
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent main clauses need to be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence. In the original sentence, 〈But every coin has two sides〉 and 〈the other students objected to them〉 are two main clauses. Therefore, 〈,the〉 needs to be changed to 『. The』 to comply with grammar.

error_sentence: But every coin has two sides,the other students objected to them.
correct_sentence: The other students object to this.
error: objected to them
correction: object to this
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple present tense should be used here, but the original verb 〈objected〉 is in the simple past tense. Therefore, 〈objected〉 needs to be changed to the simple present tense 『object』 to fit the context; ② Pronoun Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'object to this', requiring a singular form. In the original sentence, 〈them〉 cannot clearly refer to the previous viewpoint and does not fit the meaning. Therefore, 〈them〉 needs to be changed to 『this』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: They told us getting online freguently dose harm to our seesight.
correct_sentence: They told us getting online frequently does harm to our eyesight.
error: freguently dose
correction: frequently does
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'frequently does'. Therefore, 〈freguently dose〉 is a misspelling of 『frequently does』, and 〈freguently dose〉 needs to be changed to 『frequently does』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: They told us getting online freguently dose harm to our seesight.
correct_sentence: They told us getting online frequently does harm to our eyesight.
error: seesight
correction: eyesight
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'eyesight'. Therefore, 〈seesight〉 is a misspelling of 『eyesight』, and 〈seesight〉 needs to be changed to 『eyesight』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: Besides,it took us a large amount of valuable time and energy.
correct_sentence: Besides, it takes us a large amount of valuable time and energy.
error: took
correction: takes
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple present tense should be used here, but the original verb 〈took〉 is in the simple past tense. Therefore, 〈took〉 needs to be changed to the simple present tense 『takes』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: What's worse,we may couldn't help to indulging in computergames or chatting with others.

correct_sentence: What's worse, we probably can't help indulging in computer games or chatting with others.

error: may could
correction: probably ca
error_type: Auxiliary Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Auxiliary Error: According to English grammar rules, the double modal verb 〈may couldn't〉 does not conform to grammar rules. Therefore, 〈may couldn't〉 needs to be changed to 『probably can't』 to express a speculative negation.

error_sentence: What's worse,we may couldn't help to indulging in computergames or chatting with others.

correct_sentence: What's worse, we probably can't help indulging in computer games or chatting with others.

error: to
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, the fixed phrase 'can't help doing' requires a gerund. In the original sentence, 〈to indulging〉 is an incorrect expression. Therefore, the redundant 〈to〉 needs to be deleted to comply with grammar.

error_sentence: What's worse,we may couldn't help to indulging in computergames or chatting with others.

correct_sentence: What's worse, we probably can't help indulging in computer games or chatting with others.

error: computergames
correction: computer games
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space needs to be added between words. In the original sentence, 〈computergames〉 lacks the necessary space. Therefore, the run-on word 〈computergames〉 needs to be changed to 『computer games』 to comply with English writing conventions.

error_sentence: In the end,I'd like to share some of my opinions with you.
correct_sentence: In the end, I'd like to share some of my opinions with you.
error: I'd
correction: I'd
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, there should be a space between punctuation and a word. In the original sentence, 〈In the end,I'd〉 lacks a space. Therefore, 〈In the end,I'd〉 needs to be changed to 『In the end, I'd』 to comply with writing conventions.

error_sentence: I think,we should consider the computer to be an important tool.
correct_sentence: I think we should consider the computer to be an important tool.
error: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, when 〈I think〉 appears as an introductory element at the beginning of a complex sentence, it does not need to be separated from the main clause by a comma. Therefore, 〈I think,we〉 needs to be changed to 『I think we』 to comply with conventions.

error_sentence: If everyone of us have good self-controling the Internet will become a close friend of us.
correct_sentence: If every one of us has good self-control, the Internet will become a close friend of us.
error: everyone
correction: every one
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, this place expresses 'each person'. The compound word 〈everyone〉 refers to the whole, while here individual responsibility needs to be pointed out. Therefore, 〈everyone〉 should be written separately as 『every one』 to fit the meaning of the sentence.

error_sentence: If everyone of us have good self-controling the Internet will become a close friend of us.
correct_sentence: If every one of us has good self-control, the Internet will become a close friend of us.
error: have
correction: has
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: According to English grammar rules, there is a subject-verb agreement error in the original sentence. The subject 〈every one〉 is singular, and the original verb 〈have〉 is in the plural form. Therefore, the verb 〈have〉 needs to be changed to the singular form 『has』 to maintain subject-verb agreement.

error_sentence: If everyone of us have good self-controling the Internet will become a close friend of us.
correct_sentence: If every one of us has good self-control, the Internet will become a close friend of us.
error: controling
correction: control,
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Noun Error: According to the context, the intention here is to express 'self-control'. The original word 〈self-controling〉 is misspelled and does not fit the meaning. Therefore, 〈self-controling〉 needs to be changed to 『self-control』 to make the meaning clearer; ② Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, a conditional adverbial clause starting with 〈If〉 needs to be connected to the main clause with a comma. Therefore, in the original sentence, 〈self-controling the〉 needs to be changed to 『self-control, the』 to comply with grammar.