Writing prompt: The Voice of China

Student essay:
Recently,a really talent show,The Voice of China, appeals to a large number of TV audiences.There'no doubt that The Voice of China has been the most popular talent show in this summer.
In this talent show, the judges do not appreciate the singer's performance face to face.Once they have heard the voice which touched them,they will press the button.No sooner have they pressed the button than the chairs turn around,which means the singer gets the opportunity to be their pupil.Particularly,if more than one judge turns around,the participant has the right to make the final decision.
As far as I'm concerned,the reason why The Voice of China gains popularity among the TV audiences is that the show has given people positive energy.As a faithful audience of The Voice of China,I have learned from this show that we should dare to chase our dreams.Anyway,it has brought satisfaction and positive energy to our life.

Corrected essay:
Recently, a real talent show, The Voice of China, has appealed to a large number of TV audiences. There's no doubt that The Voice of China has been the most popular talent show this summer.
In this talent show, the judges do not appreciate the singer's performance face to face. Once they hear a voice that touches them, they press the button. No sooner have they pressed the button than the chairs turn around, which means the singer gets the opportunity to be their pupil. Particularly, if more than one judge turns around, the participant has the right to make the final decision.
As far as I'm concerned, the reason why The Voice of China has gained popularity among TV audiences is that the show has given people positive energy. As a faithful audience of The Voice of China, I have learned from this show that we should dare to chase our dreams. Anyway, it has brought satisfaction and positive energy to our life.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Recently,a really talent show,The Voice of China, appeals to a large number of TV audiences.
correct_sentence: Recently, a real talent show, The Voice of China, has appealed to a large number of TV audiences.
error: really
correction: real
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: Based on the context, an adjective is needed here to modify the noun phrase 〈talent show〉, therefore the adverb 〈really〉 is changed to the adjective 『real』 to conform to grammatical rules.

error_sentence: Recently,a really talent show,The Voice of China, appeals to a large number of TV audiences.
correct_sentence: Recently, a real talent show, The Voice of China, has appealed to a large number of TV audiences.
error: appeals
correction: has appealed
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: Based on the context, this describes a past action's impact on the present, so the present perfect tense should be used; therefore, 〈appeals〉 is changed to the present perfect tense 『has appealed』 to match the narrative time frame.

error_sentence: There'no doubt that The Voice of China has been the most popular talent show in this summer.

correct_sentence: There's no doubt that The Voice of China has been the most popular talent show this summer.

error: There'no
correction: There's no
error_type: Contraction Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Contraction Error: Based on the context, the intention is to express the contraction of 'there is', the correct form should be 『There's』, therefore 〈There'no〉 is changed to 『There's no』.

error_sentence: There'no doubt that The Voice of China has been the most popular talent show in this summer.

correct_sentence: There's no doubt that The Voice of China has been the most popular talent show this summer.

error: in
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: Based on the context, the intention is to express 'this summer', the correct form is 『this summer』; the preposition 〈in〉 in the original sentence is unnecessary and should be deleted to make the sentence more concise and fluent.

error_sentence: Once they have heard the voice which touched them,they will press the button.
correct_sentence: Once they hear a voice that touches them, they press the button.
error: have heard the voice which touched
correction: hear a voice that touches
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: Based on the context, this describes a general fact, so the simple present tense should be used; therefore, 〈have heard〉 is changed to 『hear』 to match the narrative time frame; ② Determiner Error: This refers to a non-specific voice, so the definite article 〈the〉 needs to be changed to the indefinite article 『a』; ③ Relative Word Error: When the relative clause introduced by 〈which〉 modifies 〈voice〉, 『that』 should be used and subject-verb tense agreement should be maintained, therefore it is changed to 『that touches』.

error_sentence: Once they have heard the voice which touched them,they will press the button.
correct_sentence: Once they hear a voice that touches them, they press the button.
error: will
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: Based on the context, this describes a general fact, so the simple present tense should be used; therefore, 〈will〉 is deleted to make the tense consistent.

error_sentence: As far as I'm concerned,the reason why The Voice of China gains popularity among the TV audiences is that the show has given people positive energy.
correct_sentence: As far as I'm concerned, the reason why The Voice of China has gained popularity among TV audiences is that the show has given people positive energy.
error: gains
correction: has gained
error_type: Format Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: Based on the context, this describes a situation that has already been completed at the present time, so the present perfect tense should be used; therefore, 〈gains〉 is changed to the present perfect tense 『has gained』 to match the narrative time frame.

error_sentence: As far as I'm concerned,the reason why The Voice of China gains popularity among the TV audiences is that the show has given people positive energy.
correct_sentence: As far as I'm concerned, the reason why The Voice of China has gained popularity among TV audiences is that the show has given people positive energy.
error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: Based on the context, 〈TV audiences〉 in the original sentence is a generic concept and does not require the definite article 〈the〉; therefore, 〈the〉 is deleted to conform to English expression habits.