Writing prompt: My Favorite Person, Nightingale

Student essay:
Nightingale born in Italy on May 12, 1820. She grew in a rich family and she had a good education. She chose the nurse as her profession in 1850. But the nurse in the past time was the most cheapest profession. So her parents didn't want her to be a nurse. But she insisted it. .In 1853, Britain, France, and other countries of the outbreak of the Crimean War with Russia. Nightingale went to the first line. She took care of the injured soldiers everyday. She passed away in 1910. Now the whole world to make the International Nurse' day on May 12 to thank her for her pay.

Corrected essay:
Nightingale was born in Italy on May 12, 1820. She grew up in a rich family and she had a good education. She chose nursing as her profession in 1850. But nursing in the past was the least respected profession. So her parents didn't want her to be a nurse. But she insisted on it. In 1853, the Crimean War broke out between Britain, France, and other countries with Russia. Nightingale went to the first line. She took care of the injured soldiers everyday. She passed away in 1910. Now the whole world celebrates the International Nurses' Day on May 12 to thank her for her contributions.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Nightingale born in Italy on May 12, 1820.
correct_sentence: Nightingale was born in Italy on May 12, 1820.
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Voice Error: Nightingale's birth was a passive event, so the passive voice should be used here; add 『was』 to form 『was born』 to conform to grammatical rules.

error_sentence: She grew in a rich family and she had a good education.
correct_sentence: She grew up in a rich family and she had a good education.
correction: up
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to express 'growth'; it needs to be paired with the adverb 『up』 to form the idiomatic phrase 『grew up』, therefore add 『up』 after 〈grew〉 to make the expression correct.

error_sentence: She chose the nurse as her profession in 1850.
correct_sentence: She chose nursing as her profession in 1850.
error: the nurse
correction: nursing
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to express the nursing profession; 〈the nurse〉 does not fit the semantic requirement, therefore change the noun 〈the nurse〉 to 『nursing』.

error_sentence: But the nurse in the past time was the most cheapest profession.
correct_sentence: But nursing in the past was the least respected profession.
error: the nurse
correction: nursing
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to express the nursing profession; 〈the nurse〉 does not fit the semantic requirement, therefore change the noun 〈the nurse〉 to 『nursing』.

error_sentence: But the nurse in the past time was the most cheapest profession.
correct_sentence: But nursing in the past was the least respected profession.
error: time
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to express 'the past'; 〈in the past〉 already fully expresses the concept of time, therefore delete the redundant 〈time〉 to make the expression more concise.

error_sentence: But the nurse in the past time was the most cheapest profession.
correct_sentence: But nursing in the past was the least respected profession.
error: most cheapest
correction: least respected
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adjective Error: Judging from the context, the original sentence intends to express 'the least respected profession'; 〈most cheapest〉 expresses the concept of price, which is semantically inappropriate, and it also includes both the superlative 〈most〉 and 〈cheapest〉, which is a misuse, therefore it is modified to 『least respected』 to correctly express the meaning of the sentence.

error_sentence: But she insisted it.
correct_sentence: But she insisted on it.
correction: on
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the phrase for 'insist on something' is 『insisted on』, therefore the preposition 『on』 needs to be added after the verb 〈insisted〉 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: .In
correct_sentence: In 1853, the Crimean War broke out between Britain, France, and other countries with Russia.
error: .In
correction: In
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, the beginning of the sentence 〈.In〉 does not require punctuation; the period should be deleted to conform to writing conventions.

error_sentence: 1853, Britain, France, and other countries of the outbreak of the Crimean War with Russia.
correct_sentence: In 1853, the Crimean War broke out between Britain, France, and other countries with Russia.
correction: the Crimean War broke out between
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence 〈Britain, France, and other countries of the outbreak of the Crimean War with Russia.〉 lacks a predicate, and its structure does not conform to English expression norms; judging by the sentence's meaning, it should be modified to 『the Crimean War broke out between Britain, France, and other countries with Russia.』.

error_sentence: 1853, Britain, France, and other countries of the outbreak of the Crimean War with Russia.
correct_sentence: In 1853, the Crimean War broke out between Britain, France, and other countries with Russia.
error: of the outbreak of the Crimean War
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence 〈Britain, France, and other countries of the outbreak of the Crimean War with Russia.〉 lacks a predicate, and its structure does not conform to English expression norms; judging by the sentence's meaning, it should be modified to 『the Crimean War broke out between Britain, France, and other countries with Russia.』.

error_sentence: Now the whole world to make the International Nurse' day on May 12 to thank her for her pay.
correct_sentence: Now the whole world celebrates the International Nurses' Day on May 12 to thank her for her contributions.
error: to make
correction: celebrates
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to express 'celebrate'; the use of 〈to make〉 in the original sentence does not fit the semantic requirement and should be changed to 『celebrates』 to express the act of celebration.

error_sentence: Now the whole world to make the International Nurse' day on May 12 to thank her for her pay.
correct_sentence: Now the whole world celebrates the International Nurses' Day on May 12 to thank her for her contributions.
error: Nurse' day
correction: Nurses' Day
error_type: Noun Possessive Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Noun Possessive Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to express a festival for the group of nurses, so the plural possessive should be used; therefore, change 〈Nurse'〉 to the plural form 『Nurses'』; ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of proper nouns needs to be capitalized; 〈Nurse' day〉 is a proper noun meaning 'Nurses' Day', therefore 〈Nurse' day〉 needs to be changed to 『Nurses' Day』 to conform to conventions.

error_sentence: Now the whole world to make the International Nurse' day on May 12 to thank her for her pay.
correct_sentence: Now the whole world celebrates the International Nurses' Day on May 12 to thank her for her contributions.
error: pay
correction: contributions
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: Judging by the sentence's meaning, the intention here is to express 'contributions'; the use of 〈pay〉 in the original sentence does not fit the semantic requirement and should be changed to 『contributions』 to accurately express the meaning of the sentence.