Writing prompt: Should We Keep Animals in Zoos?

Student essay:
To answer this question, we have a discussion with my classmates.
There are 40 per cent of students think animals should be kept in zoos. Because it is happy of people to see many different kinds of animals. And they think animals can be taken good care of.
However, 60 per cent of students think that animals like living in the natural environment. Becides, they think animals will not have freedom to do action if they are kept in the cages.
I think we should keep animals in the wild instead of in the zoos. The animals can grow well and live a happy life in the wild. It is our duty to protect the animals in nature. We shouldn't pollute the water and cut down the trees. We can make many nature reserves. Because it is big enough to live. I hope they can live comfortably.

Corrected essay:
To answer this question, I have a discussion with my classmates.
40 percent of students think animals should be kept in zoos. Because it makes people happy to see many different kinds of animals. And they think animals can be taken good care of.
However, 60 percent of students think that animals like living in the natural environment. Besides, they think animals will not have the freedom to do action if they are kept in cages.
I think we should keep animals in the wild instead of in zoos. The animals can grow well and live a happy life in the wild. It is our duty to protect the animals in nature. We shouldn't pollute the water or cut down the trees. We can make many nature reserves. Because they are big enough for animals to live in. I hope they can live comfortably.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: To answer this question, we have a discussion with my classmates.

correct_sentence: To answer this question, I have a discussion with my classmates.

error: we
correction: I
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: The subject 〈we〉 logically conflicts with the following 〈my classmates〉 and does not conform to first-person narrative logic; therefore, 〈we〉 needs to be changed to 『I』 to ensure the pronoun is consistent with the narrative subject.

error_sentence: There are 40 per cent of students think animals should be kept in zoos.
correct_sentence: 40 percent of students think animals should be kept in zoos.
error: There are 40 per cent
correction: 40 percent
error_type: Sentence Redundancy Error
error_description: Sentence Redundancy Error: 〈There are〉 is a redundant structure; using 『40 percent』 directly as the subject is more concise and aligns with English expression habits.

error_sentence: Because it is happy of people to see many different kinds of animals.
correct_sentence: Because it makes people happy to see many different kinds of animals.
error: is happy of people
correction: makes people happy
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: 〈is〉 cannot correctly express the causative relationship 'make...happy' in the sentence's meaning; therefore, 〈is happy of people〉 is changed to 『makes people happy』 to make the sentence structure clear.

error_sentence: However, 60 per cent of students think that animals like living in the natural environment.
correct_sentence: However, 60 percent of students think that animals like living in the natural environment.
error: per cent
correction: percent
error_type: Spelling Error
error_description: Spelling Error: 〈per cent〉 is British spelling; it is unified to American spelling 『percent』 according to the context.

error_sentence: Becides, they think animals will not have freedom to do action if they are kept in the cages.

correct_sentence: Besides, they think animals will not have the freedom to do action if they are kept in cages.

error: Becides
correction: Besides
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is known that the intention here is to express 'besides'; therefore, 〈Becides〉 is a misspelling of 『Besides』, and 〈Becides〉 needs to be changed to 『Besides』 to make the sentence meaning smooth.

error_sentence: Becides, they think animals will not have freedom to do action if they are kept in the cages.

correct_sentence: Besides, they think animals will not have the freedom to do action if they are kept in cages.

correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: Combined with the context, the abstract noun 〈freedom〉 needs the determiner 『the』 before it to indicate the specific 'right to freedom'; therefore, the determiner 『the』 is added before 〈freedom〉 to correctly express the sentence meaning.

error_sentence: Becides, they think animals will not have freedom to do action if they are kept in the cages.

correct_sentence: Besides, they think animals will not have the freedom to do action if they are kept in cages.

error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: 〈cages〉 is a generic concept; 〈the cages〉 does not need the article 〈the〉 because it refers to all cages rather than specific ones; therefore, 〈the〉 before 〈cages〉 is deleted to conform to grammatical rules.

error_sentence: I think we should keep animals in the wild instead of in the zoos.
correct_sentence: I think we should keep animals in the wild instead of in zoos.
error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: 〈zoos〉 is a generic concept; 〈the zoos〉 does not need the article 〈the〉 because it refers to all zoos rather than specific ones; therefore, 〈the〉 before 〈zoos〉 is deleted to conform to grammatical rules.

error_sentence: We shouldn't pollute the water and cut down the trees.
correct_sentence: We shouldn't pollute the water or cut down the trees.
error: and
correction: or
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, parallel elements in a negative sentence should be connected by 『or』, and the sentence meaning should indicate alternative actions; therefore, 〈and〉 is changed to 『or』 to correctly express the sentence meaning.

error_sentence: Because it is big enough to live.
correct_sentence: Because they are big enough for animals to live in.
error: it is
correction: they are
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: The pronoun 〈it〉 is inconsistent with the preceding 〈nature reserves〉; the plural form 『they』 should be used. Therefore, 〈it is〉 is changed to 『they are』 to maintain number agreement.

error_sentence: Because it is big enough to live.
correct_sentence: Because they are big enough for animals to live in.
correction: for animals
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The infinitive structure 〈to live〉 lacks the necessary prepositional phrase 『for animals』 to clarify the subject of living; therefore, 『for animals』 is added after 〈enough〉 to make the sentence meaning complete.

error_sentence: Because it is big enough to live.
correct_sentence: Because they are big enough for animals to live in.
correction: in
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: After 〈to live〉, the necessary preposition 『in』 is missing to clearly express 'living in... environment'; therefore, 『in』 is added after 〈live〉 to make the sentence structure complete.