Writing prompt: Online Shopping

Student essay:
More and more Internet users in china find the fun Online shopping .China Internet Network Information Center said that there are outnumber 87millions chinese online shopping first half of the year.It means that there are one fourth of Internet users in China have been Online shopping.Most of Online shoppers are students and white-collar workers aged 18-30 years,monthy income in 1000 yuan-3000 yuan.The women Online shopping more than men.Cloth and household products are the most of things by the Online shopping .We estimate that the trend of Online shopping will be increase.This reflects the strong development momentum of Chinese econimy.

Corrected essay:
More and more Internet users in China find the fun of online shopping. China Internet Network Information Center said that there are over 87 million Chinese online shoppers in the first half of the year. It means that one fourth of Internet users in China have been online shopping. Most online shoppers are students and white-collar workers aged from 18 to 30 years, with a monthly income between 1000 yuan and 3000 yuan. Women shop online more than men. Clothes and household products are the most common things bought through online shopping. We estimate that the trend of online shopping will increase. This reflects the strong development momentum of the Chinese economy.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: More and more Internet users in china find the fun Online shopping .China Internet Network Information Center said that there are outnumber 87millions chinese online shopping first half of the year.
correct_sentence: More and more Internet users in China find the fun of online shopping.
error: china
correction: China
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: As a proper noun for “China”, “china” should be capitalized; it should be corrected to 『China』 to comply with English writing conventions.

error_sentence: More and more Internet users in china find the fun Online shopping .China Internet Network Information Center said that there are outnumber 87millions chinese online shopping first half of the year.
correct_sentence: More and more Internet users in China find the fun of online shopping. China Internet Network Information Center said that there are over 87 million Chinese online shoppers in the first half of the year.
error: Online shopping .China
correction: of online shopping. China
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the verb phrase 〈find the fun〉 needs to be followed by the preposition “of” to connect with the noun phrase; the original sentence lacks the preposition and 『of』 should be added to make the expression grammatically correct; ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the common noun 〈Online shopping〉 does not need to be capitalized; the capitalization in the original sentence is incorrect and should be corrected to lowercase 『online shopping』; ③ Space Error: According to English writing conventions, the period and connecting word in 〈Online shopping.China〉 are used incorrectly; it should be modified to 『of online shopping. China』 to maintain sentence coherence.

error_sentence: More and more Internet users in china find the fun Online shopping .China Internet Network Information Center said that there are outnumber 87millions chinese online shopping first half of the year.
correct_sentence: China Internet Network Information Center said that there are over 87 million Chinese online shoppers in the first half of the year.
error: outnumber 87millions chinese online shopping
correction: over 87 million Chinese online shoppers in the
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, “outnumber” in the original sentence means “to be more than; to exceed (in quantity)”, which is semantically awkward here; “over” means “more than; in excess of” and is more suitable for expressing a quantity range, so 〈outnumber〉 should be changed to 『over』; ② Space Error: In English numerical expressions, a space is usually used between the number and the unit for readability; a space is needed between “87” and “million” in 〈87million〉; the original sentence did not use a space correctly and should be modified to 『87 million』 to conform to writing conventions; ③ Noun Number Error: In English, when a numeral is paired with a quantifier, the quantifier is generally in singular form; “million” as a quantifier in the expression “87 million” should be in singular form; the “s” in 〈87millions〉 is redundant and should be changed to 『87 million』; ④ Noun Error: In the original sentence, “online shopping” means “the act of shopping online”, which is an action concept; however, according to the context, it needs to express the subject performing online shopping, i.e., “online shoppers”; “shoppers” fits the semantic requirement, so 〈online shopping〉 should be changed to 『shoppers』; ⑤ Preposition Error: “in the first half of the year” is a fixed expression where “in” is used to indicate within a certain period; the original sentence is missing “in”, making the time expression incomplete, so the preposition 『in』 needs to be added; ⑥ Determiner Error: “first half of the year” refers to “the first half of the year”, which is a specific period; in English, such specific expressions usually require the definite article “the” for specificity; the original sentence lacks the definite article 〈the〉, so the determiner 『the』 should be added.

error_sentence: It means that there are one fourth of Internet users in China have been Online shopping.
correct_sentence: It means that one fourth of Internet users in China have been online shopping.
error: there are
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: According to English grammar rules, the original sentence 〈there are one fourth of Internet users in China have been Online shopping〉 has a double subject structure; the simultaneous use of “there are” and “have been” makes the sentence structure confusing. Deleting the redundant 『there are』 makes the sentence structure more compliant with English grammar rules.

error_sentence: It means that there are one fourth of Internet users in China have been Online shopping.
correct_sentence: It means that one fourth of Internet users in China have been online shopping.
error: Online
correction: online
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, “online” is a common adjective, not a proper noun, and its first letter does not need to be capitalized; the capitalization of 〈Online〉 in the original sentence is incorrect and should be corrected to the lowercase form 『online』.

error_sentence: Most of Online shoppers are students and white-collar workers aged 18-30 years,monthy income in 1000 yuan-3000 yuan.
correct_sentence: Most online shoppers are students and white-collar workers aged from 18 to 30 years, with a monthly income between 1000 yuan and 3000 yuan.
error: of Online
correction: online
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English grammar rules, “Most of” should be followed by a determiner (such as “the”) or a noun phrase, whereas in the original sentence it directly modifies the noun 〈shoppers〉; 〈of〉 is redundant and should be deleted, and 〈Online〉 should be corrected to lowercase 『online』 to make the expression conform to conventions.

error_sentence: Most of Online shoppers are students and white-collar workers aged 18-30 years,monthy income in 1000 yuan-3000 yuan.
correct_sentence: Most online shoppers are students and white-collar workers aged from 18 to 30 years, with a monthly income between 1000 yuan and 3000 yuan.
error: 18-
correction: from 18 to
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, when indicating an age range, the prepositions 〈from... to〉 should be used; in the original sentence, using only a hyphen “18-” to connect is not grammatically correct; 『from』 and 『to』 should be added, changing it to 『from 18 to』, to make the expression standard.

error_sentence: Most of Online shoppers are students and white-collar workers aged 18-30 years,monthy income in 1000 yuan-3000 yuan.
correct_sentence: Most online shoppers are students and white-collar workers aged from 18 to 30 years, with a monthly income between 1000 yuan and 3000 yuan.
error: monthy income in 1000 yuan-3000
correction: with a monthly income between 1000 yuan and 3000
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it intends to express “monthly”, so 〈monthy〉 is a misspelling of 『monthly』; 〈monthy〉 needs to be corrected to 『monthly』 to make the meaning clear; ② Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, “with” is used to supplementarily describe the characteristics of the subject; the original sentence intends to express that the group “has a monthly income between 1000 yuan and 3000 yuan”, and using “with” can make the semantics coherent; to express an income range, 〈between... and〉 should be used; in the original sentence, using 〈in〉 and a hyphen to connect “1000 yuan - 3000 yuan” does not conform to conventions and should be changed to 『with a monthly income between 1000 yuan and 3000 yuan』 to make the expression standard; ③ Determiner Error: “income” as a singular countable noun, when not specifically referred to, needs to be modified by the indefinite article “a” as a determiner; the original sentence is missing this determiner, and adding 『a』 can make the expression conform to English grammar conventions.

error_sentence: The women Online shopping more than men.
correct_sentence: Women shop online more than men.
error: The women Online shopping
correction: Women shop online
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: According to English grammar rules, the original sentence 〈The women Online shopping more than men.〉 lacks a predicate verb; “Online shopping” is a noun phrase and cannot serve as a predicate; it should be changed to the verb phrase 『shop online』 to act as the predicate, making the sentence structure complete; ② Word Redundancy Error: According to English grammar rules, when referring to women as a general group, the definite article 〈The〉 is not needed; 〈The〉 should be removed to make the expression idiomatic.

error_sentence: Cloth and household products are the most of things by the Online shopping .We
correct_sentence: Clothes and household products are the most common things bought through online shopping.
error: Cloth
correction: Clothes
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: According to the context, the original sentence intends to express that “clothes and household products are the most common items in online shopping”; 〈Cloth〉 in English usually refers to “fabric”, which does not fit the context here, while 『Clothes』 means “garments”, so 〈Cloth〉 should be changed to 『Clothes』 to make the expression accurate.

error_sentence: Cloth and household products are the most of things by the Online shopping .We
correct_sentence: Clothes and household products are the most common things bought through online shopping. We estimate that the trend of online shopping will increase.
error: of things by the Online shopping .We
correction: common things bought through online shopping. We
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Adjective Error: According to English grammar rules, the expression 〈the most of〉 in the original sentence does not conform to the correct form of the superlative adjective; when expressing “the most...” to modify a noun, the structure 『the most + base adjective』 should be used; here it needs to be changed to 『the most common』 to correctly modify “things”; ② Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, when expressing “through a certain channel”, 〈through〉 should be used; in the original sentence, using 〈by the〉 to indicate the shopping channel does not conform to conventions and should be changed to 『through』; ③ Word Redundancy Error: In the original phrase 〈the most of things by the Online shopping〉, 〈of things〉 and 〈by〉 are redundant expressions that make the sentence meaning unclear; modifying it to 『common things bought through』 can simplify the expression and make the meaning clearer.

error_sentence: estimate that the trend of Online shopping will be increase.
correct_sentence: We estimate that the trend of online shopping will increase.
error: Online
correction: online
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: ① Case Error: According to English writing conventions, “online” is a common adjective, not a proper noun, and its first letter does not need to be capitalized; the capitalization of 〈Online〉 in the original sentence is incorrect and should be corrected to the lowercase form 『online』; ② Case Error: The capitalization of the non-proper noun 〈Online〉 does not conform to English writing conventions and should be changed to 『online』.

error_sentence: estimate that the trend of Online shopping will be increase.
correct_sentence: We estimate that the trend of online shopping will increase.
error: be
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English grammar rules, the future tense is formed directly by 『will + base verb』; in the sentence 〈will be increase〉, 〈be〉 is a redundant component that causes word redundancy and should be deleted to conform to correct English expression habits.

error_sentence: This reflects the strong development momentum of Chinese econimy.
correct_sentence: This reflects the strong development momentum of the Chinese economy.
error: Chinese econimy
correction: the Chinese economy
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it intends to express “economy”, so 〈economiy〉 is a misspelling of 『economy』; 〈economiy〉 needs to be corrected to 『economy』 to make the meaning clear; ② Determiner Error: “Chinese economy” here specifically refers to the Chinese economy; according to English grammar rules, when specifically referring, the definite article 〈the〉 needs to be added before it, so 『the』 should be added before 〈Chinese economy〉.