Writing prompt: Cleaned the Snow

Student essay:
This morning, I stood by the window with two cups of tea. It was snowing. The sky was gray and the whole world became white. It was so beautiful view that I decided to record the beautiful view with camera when the snow stopped.
I took my camera and went out after the snow stopped. I walked on the ground and left a string of foot prints. Suddenly iI saw a boy fell down because of the slippery ground. I walked quickly and helped him.
Then I decided to bring the whisk broom and cleaned the snow, so that nobody would fall down because of the slippery ground. After my hard work, a way appeared.
At that time a couple who had bought some foods and went back. They went by the way and saw me carrying the whisk broom. They knew the way was cleaned by me, so they praised me. I felt very happy and gave them a smile.

Corrected essay:
This morning, I stood by the window with two cups of tea. It was snowing. The sky was gray and the whole world became white. It was such a beautiful view that I decided to record it with a camera when the snow stopped.
I took my camera and went out after the snow stopped. I walked on the ground and left a string of footprints. Suddenly, I saw a boy fall down because of the slippery ground. I walked quickly and helped him.
Then I decided to bring the whisk broom and clean the snow, so that nobody would fall down because of the slippery ground. After my hard work, a path appeared.
At that time, a couple who had bought some food went back. They went by the path and saw me carrying the whisk broom. They knew the path was cleaned by me, so they praised me. I felt very happy and gave them a smile.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: It was so beautiful view that I decided to record the beautiful view with camera when the snow stopped.

correct_sentence: It was such a beautiful view that I decided to record it with a camera when the snow stopped.

error: so
correction: such a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, when 〈so〉 modifies an adjective, it should directly precede the adjective (e.g., so beautiful), but when modifying a noun phrase like 〈beautiful view〉, the structure 『such a』 must be used; therefore, 〈so〉 is changed to 『such a』 to comply with the rules for determiner and noun collocation.

error_sentence: It was so beautiful view that I decided to record the beautiful view with camera when the snow stopped.

correct_sentence: It was such a beautiful view that I decided to record it with a camera when the snow stopped.

error: the beautiful view with
correction: it with a
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: The phrase 〈the beautiful view〉 has already been mentioned; to avoid repetition, it needs to be replaced with the pronoun 『it』; ② Determiner Error: 〈camera〉 is a singular countable noun and requires the determiner 『a』 for modification. Therefore, 〈record the beautiful view with camera〉 is changed to 『record it with a camera』.

error_sentence: I walked on the ground and left a string of foot prints.
correct_sentence: I walked on the ground and left a string of footprints.
error: foot prints
correction: footprints
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is clear that the intended expression is “footprints”; therefore, 〈foot prints〉 is a misspelling of 『footprints』 and needs to be corrected to 『footprints』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: Suddenly iI saw a boy fell down because of the slippery ground.
correct_sentence: Suddenly, I saw a boy fall down because of the slippery ground.
error: iI
correction: , I
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: After the adverb 〈Suddenly〉, a comma is needed to separate it from the main clause; therefore, a 『,』 is added after 〈Suddenly〉 to make the sentence structure clear; ② Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is clear that the intended word is “I”; therefore, 〈iI〉 is a misspelling of 『I』 and needs to be corrected to 『I』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: Suddenly iI saw a boy fell down because of the slippery ground.
correct_sentence: Suddenly, I saw a boy fall down because of the slippery ground.
error: fell
correction: fall
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, in the structure expressing “see someone do something,” the verb “see” should be followed by the base form of the verb; therefore, 〈fell〉 is changed to 『fall』 to comply with grammatical rules.

error_sentence: Then I decided to bring the whisk broom and cleaned the snow, so that nobody would fall down because of the slippery ground.
correct_sentence: Then I decided to bring the whisk broom and clean the snow, so that nobody would fall down because of the slippery ground.
error: cleaned
correction: clean
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: The verb in the parallel structure needs to be consistent with the nonfinite form of 〈decided to bring〉; therefore, 〈cleaned〉 is changed to the base form of the verb 『clean』 to match the form of the preceding 〈bring〉.

error_sentence: After my hard work, a way appeared.

correct_sentence: After my hard work, a path appeared.

error: way
correction: path
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: Considering the context, what appears after clearing the snow should be a concrete 『path』 (a small road), not the abstract concept 〈way〉 (manner/method); therefore, 〈way〉 is changed to 『path』 to correctly express the sentence meaning.

error_sentence: At that time a couple who had bought some foods and went back.
correct_sentence: At that time, a couple who had bought some food went back.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: After the time adverbial 〈At that time〉, a comma is needed to separate it from the main clause; therefore, a 『,』 is added after 〈time〉 to enhance the fluency of the sentence.

error_sentence: At that time a couple who had bought some foods and went back.
correct_sentence: At that time, a couple who had bought some food went back.
error: foods and
correction: food
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: 〈food〉 is an uncountable noun here; the redundant plural suffix 〈-s〉 and the conjunction 〈and〉 are deleted, making the sentence structure concise and reasonable; ② Conjunction Error: 〈who had bought some food〉 is a relative clause, and 〈went back〉 is the predicate; therefore, the conjunction 〈and〉 in the original sentence is redundant and needs to be deleted.

error_sentence: They went by the way and saw me carrying the whisk broom.
correct_sentence: They went by the path and saw me carrying the whisk broom.
error: way
correction: path
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Error: 〈way〉 usually refers to a method or direction, whereas here 『path』 is needed to denote a specific passable road; therefore, 〈way〉 is changed to 『path』 to correctly express the sentence meaning.

error_sentence: They knew the way was cleaned by me, so they praised me.
correct_sentence: They knew the path was cleaned by me, so they praised me.
error: way
correction: path
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Error: 〈way〉 usually refers to a method or direction, whereas here 『path』 is needed to denote a specific passable road; therefore, 〈way〉 is changed to 『path』 to correctly express the sentence meaning.