Writing prompt: My Teacher Mr. Moon

Student essay:
Born in France, Mr. Moon,an American who has Chinese nationality,is an active and humorous man of 40. Compared with other teachers, he always focuses more on his teaching methods but not the comments,so he can figure out various ways to make his class active.As a teacher,what he does a good job on is that he encouraged students to think about projects themselves, which enhanced students' abilities of self-teaching.What's more,helping students to learn how to analyse and solve problems offer students huge motivation to discover and to create. Most importantly,it is his wide range of knowledge that wins students' admiration.

Corrected essay:
Born in France, Mr. Moon, an American who has Chinese nationality, is an active and humorous man of 40. Compared with other teachers, he always focuses more on his teaching methods but not the comments, so he can figure out various ways to make his class active. As a teacher, he does a good job depending on that he encourages students to think about projects themselves, which enhances students' abilities of self-teaching. What's more, helping students to learn how to analyse and solve problems offers students huge motivation to discover and to create. Most importantly, it is his wide range of knowledge that wins students' admiration.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: As a teacher,what he does a good job on is that he encouraged students to think about projects themselves, which enhanced students' abilities of self-teaching.
correct_sentence: As a teacher, he does a good job depending on that he encourages students to think about projects themselves, which enhances students' abilities of self-teaching.
error: what
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy: The original sentence uses a noun clause introduced by 〈what〉, leading to a redundant and complex structure. According to the principle of conciseness in English, 〈what〉 is superfluous here; removing it and reorganizing into the simple sentence 『he does a good job』 makes the expression more concise and clear.

error_sentence: As a teacher,what he does a good job on is that he encouraged students to think about projects themselves, which enhanced students' abilities of self-teaching.
correct_sentence: As a teacher, he does a good job depending on that he encourages students to think about projects themselves, which enhances students' abilities of self-teaching.
error: on is
correction: depending on
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The sentence structure introduced by 〈what〉 in the original sentence is unclear, causing ambiguous and lengthy semantics. Removing 〈what〉 and changing to 『he does a good job depending on』 makes the sentence expression clear, its structure concise, and conforms to English grammar rules and expression habits.

error_sentence: As a teacher,what he does a good job on is that he encouraged students to think about projects themselves, which enhanced students' abilities of self-teaching.
correct_sentence: As a teacher, he does a good job depending on that he encourages students to think about projects themselves, which enhances students' abilities of self-teaching.
error: encouraged
correction: encourages
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, the main clause of this sentence describes the teacher's regular work content, which is a general fact and should use the present tense. The original sentence uses the past tense 〈encouraged〉, which does not meet the tense requirements and should be changed to 『encourages』 to maintain tense consistency.

error_sentence: As a teacher,what he does a good job on is that he encouraged students to think about projects themselves, which enhanced students' abilities of self-teaching.
correct_sentence: As a teacher, he does a good job depending on that he encourages students to think about projects themselves, which enhances students' abilities of self-teaching.
error: enhanced
correction: enhances
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, the relative clause in this sentence describes a continuous teaching effect, belonging to a present simple tense context. The original sentence uses the past tense 〈enhanced〉, which is inconsistent with the overall tense logic and should be changed to the present simple third-person singular form 『enhances』 to make the sentence tense consistent and accurately express the continuous teaching effectiveness.

error_sentence: What's more,helping students to learn how to analyse and solve problems offer students huge motivation to discover and to create.
correct_sentence: What's more, helping students to learn how to analyse and solve problems offers students huge motivation to discover and to create.
error: offer
correction: offers
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: According to English grammar rules, when the gerund phrase 〈helping students to learn how to analyse and solve problems〉 acts as the subject, it is considered a singular concept. In the original sentence, the predicate verb 〈offer〉 is in the plural form, which is inconsistent with the subject in number and should be changed to the singular form 『offers』 to achieve subject-verb agreement.