Writing prompt: Highlights of My High School

Student essay:
I'm L. Now I'm studying in a university and I will tell you about my experience of high school life. At that time, I was a student of Senior 2. I'm working hard.
At school, I get on well with my classmates. And I like to talk with teachers. Sometimes I discuss problems with my classmates. After class, my friends with I went to watch basketball game. That was funny very much. But there was moments, we relaxed ourselves to the playground and did after-school action. That was good.
I think my high school life is funny. I can make myself want to do, which I acquire knowledge, for the future lay the foundation.

Corrected essay:
I am L. Now I'm studying in a university and I will tell you about my experience of high school life. At that time, I was a student of Senior 2. I worked hard.
At school, I got on well with my classmates. And I liked to talk with teachers. Sometimes I discussed problems with my classmates. After class, my friends and I went to watch basketball games. That was very funny. But there were moments when we relaxed ourselves on the playground and did after-school activities. That was good.
I think my high school life is funny. I could do what I wanted, acquire knowledge, and lay the foundation for the future.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: I'm L.
correct_sentence: I am L.
error: 'm
correction: am
error_type: Contraction Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Contraction Error: According to English writing conventions, the full form should be used for formal self-introductions, therefore the contraction 〈'm〉 is changed to 『am』 to conform to formal written language standards.

error_sentence: I'm working hard.

correct_sentence: I worked hard.

error: 'm working
correction: worked
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the sentence describes past events and should use the simple past tense, whereas the original sentence uses 〈'm working〉, which is present continuous tense; therefore, 〈'm working〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『worked』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: At school, I get on well with my classmates.
correct_sentence: At school, I got on well with my classmates.
error: get
correction: got
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the sentence describes past events and should use the simple past tense, whereas the original sentence uses 〈get〉, which is simple present tense; therefore, 〈get〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『got』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: And I like to talk with teachers.
correct_sentence: And I liked to talk with teachers.
error: like
correction: liked
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the sentence describes past events and should use the simple past tense, whereas the original sentence uses 〈like〉, which is simple present tense; therefore, 〈like〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『liked』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: Sometimes I discuss problems with my classmates.
correct_sentence: Sometimes I discussed problems with my classmates.
error: discuss
correction: discussed
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the sentence describes past events and should use the simple past tense, whereas the original sentence uses 〈discuss〉, which is simple present tense; therefore, 〈discuss〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『discussed』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: After class, my friends with I went to watch basketball game.
correct_sentence: After class, my friends and I went to watch basketball games.
error: with
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈my friends〉 and 〈I〉 in the original sentence, as a parallel structure, require the conjunction 『and』; therefore, 〈with〉 in the original sentence needs to be changed to 『and』 to comply with English grammar rules.

error_sentence: After class, my friends with I went to watch basketball game.
correct_sentence: After class, my friends and I went to watch basketball games.
error: game
correction: games
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to the context, 〈game〉 in the original sentence should be in the plural form 『games』 to indicate watching multiple basketball games; therefore, 〈game〉 should be changed to 『games』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: That was funny very much.
correct_sentence: That was very funny.
error: funny very much
correction: very funny
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Order Error: According to English expression customs, the adverb 〈very〉 should be placed before the adjective it modifies; therefore, the original phrase 〈funny very much〉 needs to be changed to 『very funny』 to conform to idiomatic expression.

error_sentence: But there was moments, we relaxed ourselves to the playground and did after-school action.
correct_sentence: But there were moments when we relaxed ourselves on the playground and did after-school activities.
error: was moments,
correction: were moments when
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Subject-Verb Agreement Error: According to English grammar rules, the original sentence has a subject-verb agreement error; the subject 〈moments〉 is plural, while the original predicate 〈was〉 is in the third-person singular form, thus the verb 〈was〉 needs to be changed to the plural form 『were』 to maintain subject-verb agreement; ② Relative Word Error: According to the context, this refers to 〈moments〉, and a relative word is missing; therefore, 〈was moments,〉 needs to be changed to 『were moments when』 to introduce an adverbial clause of time, to fit the meaning.

error_sentence: But there was moments, we relaxed ourselves to the playground and did after-school action.
correct_sentence: But there were moments when we relaxed ourselves on the playground and did after-school activities.
error: to
correction: on
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression customs, the preposition 『on』 is used to indicate location on the playground; therefore, the directional preposition 〈to〉 needs to be changed to 『on』 to conform to expression customs.

error_sentence: But there was moments, we relaxed ourselves to the playground and did after-school action.
correct_sentence: But there were moments when we relaxed ourselves on the playground and did after-school activities.
error: action
correction: activities
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Error: According to the context, the intended meaning here is 'activities'; 〈action〉 in the original sentence refers to a single action, which is a noun error; therefore, 〈action〉 needs to be changed to 『activities』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: I can make myself want to do, which I acquire knowledge, for the future lay the foundation.
correct_sentence: I could do what I wanted, acquire knowledge, and lay the foundation for the future.
error: can make myself want to do, which I
correction: could do what I wanted,
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: According to the context, the intention is to express 'I could do everything I wanted to do'; the original sentence structure is confusing, leading to unclear meaning, therefore, 〈can make myself want to do, which I〉 needs to be reconstructed as 『could do what I wanted』 to clearly express past ability and intention.

error_sentence: I can make myself want to do, which I acquire knowledge, for the future lay the foundation.
correct_sentence: I could do what I wanted, acquire knowledge, and lay the foundation for the future.
error: for the future
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English expression customs, parallel structures require the conjunction 『and』; in the original sentence, 〈acquire knowledge〉 and 〈lay the foundation〉 form a parallel structure, therefore, 〈for the future〉 needs to be changed to 『and』 to connect them, conforming to English expression customs.

error_sentence: I can make myself want to do, which I acquire knowledge, for the future lay the foundation.
correct_sentence: I could do what I wanted, acquire knowledge, and lay the foundation for the future.
correction: for the future
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Order Error: According to the context, the intended meaning here is 'to lay the foundation for the future'; the phrase 〈for the future〉 should be placed at the end of the sentence as an adverbial of purpose, therefore the phrase is modified to 『lay the foundation for the future』 to supplement the meaning and complete the sentence.