Writing prompt: Some Advice about Students' Symptom

Student essay:
They are always dizzy and tired,with sleeping not well very,what's worse,they cannot eat the amount of food which is necessary for them.I think the anxiety affects them badly,so I want to communicate with you about some advice for this symptom.
Firstly,they ought to make appropriate plans before the exam so that they can use the time fully and won't be anxious about going over the knowledge.
Secondly,because it is the good rest that help them be relaxed,and therefore,they should break as usual during the exam day
Thirdly,a warm bath or a milk which is good for sleeping.Always do them in the evening can also reduce the symptoms of anxiety.
Finally,in my view,the parents' encouragement that gives them energy also works.The more they are encouraged,the more relaxed they will be.
I am looking forword to hearing from you.

Corrected essay:
They are always dizzy and tired, with poor sleep. What's worse, they cannot eat the amount of food which is necessary for them. I think anxiety affects them badly, so I want to communicate with you about some advice for this symptom.
Firstly, they ought to make appropriate plans before the exam so that they can use the time fully and won't be anxious about going over the knowledge.
Secondly, because it is the good rest that helps them be relaxed, they should take breaks as usual during the exam day.
Thirdly, a warm bath or milk which is good for sleeping can help. Always doing these in the evening can also reduce the symptoms of anxiety.
Finally, in my view, parents' encouragement that gives them energy also works. The more they are encouraged, the more relaxed they will be.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: They are always dizzy and tired,with sleeping not well very,what's worse,they cannot eat the amount of food which is necessary for them.
correct_sentence: They are always dizzy and tired, with poor sleep. What's worse, they cannot eat the amount of food which is necessary for them.
error: sleeping not well very,what
correction: poor sleep. What
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Sentence Structure Error: According to English grammar rules, the structure 〈sleeping not well very〉 in the original sentence is chaotic and does not conform to the norm of adjectives modifying nouns; the concise and correct form 『poor sleep』 should be used.; ② Punctuation Error: According to English punctuation rules, the comma 〈,what〉 cannot connect two independent clauses; it needs to be separated by a period into 『poor sleep. What』 to make the sentence structure complete.; ③ Case Error: In English writing conventions, the first letter of a word at the beginning of a sentence needs to be capitalized; the 〈w〉 in 〈what's worse〉 in the original sentence should be capitalized as 『What's worse』.

error_sentence: I think the anxiety affects them badly,so I want to communicate with you about some advice for this symptom.

correct_sentence: I think anxiety affects them badly, so I want to communicate with you about some advice for this symptom.

error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, 〈anxiety〉 is an abstract noun and is used here in a general sense, so the definite article 〈the〉 is not needed; 〈the〉 in the original sentence is redundant and should be deleted to make the expression conform to English habits.

error_sentence: Secondly,because it is the good rest that help them be relaxed,and therefore,they should break as usual during the exam day
Thirdly,a warm bath or a milk which is good for sleeping.
correct_sentence: Secondly, because it is the good rest that helps them be relaxed, they should take breaks as usual during the exam day.

error: help
correction: helps
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: According to English grammar rules, the subject 〈the good rest〉 is singular, and the predicate verb needs to be in the third-person singular form; in the original sentence, 〈help〉 is not in the third-person singular form and should be changed to 『helps』 to conform to subject-verb agreement rules.

error_sentence: Secondly,because it is the good rest that help them be relaxed,and therefore,they should break as usual during the exam day
Thirdly,a warm bath or a milk which is good for sleeping.
correct_sentence: Secondly, because it is the good rest that helps them be relaxed, they should take breaks as usual during the exam day.

error: ,and therefore
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈because〉 already indicates a causal relationship, and the phrase 〈,and therefore〉 is a redundant component in the sentence; 〈,and therefore〉 should be deleted to make the sentence expression more concise and fluent.

error_sentence: Secondly,because it is the good rest that help them be relaxed,and therefore,they should break as usual during the exam day
Thirdly,a warm bath or a milk which is good for sleeping.
correct_sentence: Secondly, because it is the good rest that helps them be relaxed, they should take breaks as usual during the exam day.

error: break
correction: take breaks
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to English expression habits, when 〈break〉 is used as a noun meaning "rest," it often needs to be paired with a quantifier (such as a break), while the verb phrase 『take breaks』 is more in line with the idiomatic expression for "rest"; in the original sentence, 〈break〉 is not specific enough and should be changed to 『take breaks』.

error_sentence: Secondly,because it is the good rest that help them be relaxed,and therefore,they should break as usual during the exam day
Thirdly,a warm bath or a milk which is good for sleeping.
correct_sentence: Secondly, because it is the good rest that helps them be relaxed, they should take breaks as usual during the exam day.

correction: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, the original sentence 〈they should take breaks as usual during the exam day〉 lacks a period at the end to separate independent clauses; a 『.』 should be added at the end of the sentence to make the sentence structure clear and conform to standard writing conventions.

error_sentence: Secondly,because it is the good rest that help them be relaxed,and therefore,they should break as usual during the exam day
Thirdly,a warm bath or a milk which is good for sleeping.
correct_sentence: Thirdly, a warm bath or milk which is good for sleeping can help.
error: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈milk〉 is an uncountable noun and does not require an indefinite article 〈a〉 for modification; the use of 〈a〉 in the original sentence is incorrect and should be deleted.

error_sentence: Secondly,because it is the good rest that help them be relaxed,and therefore,they should break as usual during the exam day
Thirdly,a warm bath or a milk which is good for sleeping.
correct_sentence: Thirdly, a warm bath or milk which is good for sleeping can help.
correction: can help
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence lacks a predicate verb, resulting in an incomplete sentence structure; 『can help』 should be added to form a subject-verb structure, making the sentence semantically complete.

error_sentence: Always do them in the evening can also reduce the symptoms of anxiety.

correct_sentence: Always doing these in the evening can also reduce the symptoms of anxiety.

error: do them
correction: doing these
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, when a verb at the beginning of a sentence acts as the subject, it needs to be in the gerund form; in the original sentence, 〈Always do them〉 does not conform to grammar, and 〈do〉 should be changed to the gerund form 『doing』.; ② Pronoun Error: Based on the contextual reference, 〈them〉 is ambiguous in its reference and should be replaced with the pronoun 『these』 to clearly refer to the actions mentioned earlier.

error_sentence: Finally,in my view,the parents' encouragement that gives them energy also works.
correct_sentence: Finally, in my view, parents' encouragement that gives them energy also works.
error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, 〈parents' encouragement〉 is used here in a general sense and does not require the definite article 〈the〉; 〈the〉 in the original sentence is redundant and should be deleted to make the expression conform to English habits.

error_sentence: I am looking forword to hearing from you.
correct_sentence: I am looking forward to hearing from you.
error: forword
correction: forward
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express "looking forward to hearing from you," therefore 〈forword〉 is a misspelling of 『forward』; 〈forword〉 needs to be corrected to 『forward』 to make the sentence meaningful and fluent.