Writing prompt: Can We Bring Mobile Phone to School?

Student essay:
Dear editor
Nowadays the phenomenon that students take phones to school has aroused wild concern.I'm writting to tell you my attitude toward whether students should take phones to school.
At first,there are some advantages.Studets can make use of phones to stay in touch with their family wherever they are.Besides,the phone is a way to have fun.
However,there's no doubt that using phones in class can disturb teachers and have bad efforts on other students.From another perspective,it's a waste of money or time to chat and send messages by phones.What's worse,the phones take up too much attention of students that they can't help playing games in class and cheating in exams which does extremly harm to students.
As far as I'm concerned,as a student,I take it for granted that we should be focused on study instead of playing in class or cheating in exams.Also,expensive as the phones are,they should be kept in proper place.
Yours Faithly.
WangTao.

Corrected essay:
Dear editor,
Nowadays, the phenomenon that students take phones to school has aroused wide concern. I'm writing to tell you my attitude toward whether students should take phones to school.
At first, there are some advantages. Students can make use of phones to stay in touch with their family wherever they are. Besides, the phone is a way to have fun.
However, there's no doubt that using phones in class can disturb teachers and have bad effects on other students. From another perspective, it's a waste of money or time to chat and send messages by phones. What's worse, the phones take up so much attention of students that they can't help playing games in class and cheating in exams which does extreme harm to students.
As far as I'm concerned, as a student, I take it for granted that we should be focused on study instead of playing in class or cheating in exams. Also, as the phones are expensive, they should be kept in a proper place.
Yours faithfully,
Wang Tao.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Dear editor
Nowadays the phenomenon that students take phones to school has aroused wild concern.
correct_sentence: Dear editor,
Nowadays, the phenomenon that students take phones to school has aroused wide concern.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, in English letter format, the salutation 〈Dear editor〉 needs to be followed by a comma, therefore add 『,』 to meet standard format requirements.

error_sentence: Dear editor
Nowadays the phenomenon that students take phones to school has aroused wild concern.
correct_sentence: Dear editor,
Nowadays, the phenomenon that students take phones to school has aroused wide concern.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, when 〈Nowadays〉 introduces a sentence, a comma is needed to separate the clause from the main clause, therefore 〈Nowadays〉 needs to be changed to 『Nowadays,』 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: Dear editor
Nowadays the phenomenon that students take phones to school has aroused wild concern.
correct_sentence: Dear editor,
Nowadays, the phenomenon that students take phones to school has aroused wide concern.
error: wild
correction: wide
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is intended to express “wide” here, therefore 〈wild〉 is a misspelling of 『wide』, 〈wild〉 needs to be changed to 『wide』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: I'm writting to tell you my attitude toward whether students should take phones to school.

correct_sentence: I'm writing to tell you my attitude toward whether students should take phones to school.

error: I'm writting
correction: I'm writing
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is intended to express “write” here, therefore 〈writting〉 is a misspelling of 『writing』, 〈writting〉 needs to be changed to 『writing』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: Studets can make use of phones to stay in touch with their family wherever they are.
correct_sentence: Students can make use of phones to stay in touch with their family wherever they are.
error: Studets
correction: Students
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is intended to express “students” here, therefore 〈Studets〉 is a misspelling of 『Students』, 〈Studets〉 needs to be changed to 『Students』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: However,there's no doubt that using phones in class can disturb teachers and have bad efforts on other students.
correct_sentence: However, there's no doubt that using phones in class can disturb teachers and have bad effects on other students.
error: efforts
correction: effects
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Error: According to the context, the meaning here is “effects”, 〈efforts〉 means “endeavors”, which does not fit the context, therefore 〈efforts〉 needs to be changed to 『effects』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: What's worse,the phones take up too much attention of students that they can't help playing games in class and cheating in exams which does extremly harm to students.

correct_sentence: What's worse, the phones take up so much attention of students that they can't help playing games in class and cheating in exams which does extreme harm to students.

error: too
correction: so
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to the context, the meaning here is “so...that...”, the original word 〈too〉 cannot introduce an adverbial clause of result, therefore 〈too〉 needs to be changed to 『so』 to conform to the semantics.

error_sentence: What's worse,the phones take up too much attention of students that they can't help playing games in class and cheating in exams which does extremly harm to students.

correct_sentence: What's worse, the phones take up so much attention of students that they can't help playing games in class and cheating in exams which does extreme harm to students.

error: extremly
correction: extreme
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: According to the context, 〈extremly〉 is an adverb, while an adjective is needed here as an attributive to describe harm, it should be changed to the adjective 『extreme』, therefore 〈extremly〉 needs to be changed to 『extreme』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: Also,expensive as the phones are,they should be kept in proper place.

correct_sentence: Also, as the phones are expensive, they should be kept in a proper place.

error: expensive
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Order Error: According to the context, the meaning here is “because the phones are expensive”, the original word 〈expensive〉 should be placed after the be-verb, therefore 〈expensive as the phones are〉 needs to be changed to 『as the phones are expensive』 to conform to the semantics.

error_sentence: Also,expensive as the phones are,they should be kept in proper place.

correct_sentence: Also, as the phones are expensive, they should be kept in a proper place.

correction: expensive
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Order Error: According to the context, the meaning here is “because the phones are expensive”, the original word 〈expensive〉 should be placed after the be-verb, therefore 〈expensive as the phones are〉 needs to be changed to 『as the phones are expensive』 to conform to the semantics.

error_sentence: Also,expensive as the phones are,they should be kept in proper place.

correct_sentence: Also, as the phones are expensive, they should be kept in a proper place.

correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, an indefinite article 『a』 is needed before a general singular countable noun 〈proper place〉 to indicate singularity, therefore 〈proper place〉 is changed to 『a proper place』 to conform to expression habits.

error_sentence: Yours Faithly.
WangTao.
correct_sentence: Yours faithfully,
Wang Tao.
error: Faithly.
WangTao
correction: faithfully,
Wang Tao
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is intended to express “faithfully” here, therefore 〈Faithly〉 is a misspelling of 『faithfully』, 〈Faithly〉 needs to be changed to 『faithfully』 to make the sentence coherent; ② Spelling Error: According to English writing conventions for Chinese names, the pinyin of the surname and the given name should be separated, therefore 〈WangTao〉 is changed to 『Wang Tao』 to conform to English name writing conventions.