Writing prompt: After-School Activities

Student essay:
Lots of students as well as me take part in them.But some students say that we should not take part in them because it is a waste of time.But I do not think so.For instance,I take part in after-school exercise.I used to be very weak and unfit.Since I take part in it I have been more and more healthy.I have got strength and power via the activities.Thanks to it, I am not afraid of running any more.As you can see,after-school activities offer us a chance to improve ourselves.Through them,we are able to change ourselves into a new person who is far better than we used to be.
But on the other hand,we should choose activities which are really good for us.First of all,we should know what we exactly want and avoid spending too much time on useless things.Secondly,we are supposed to share our ideas with others.
I wish everyone to not only enjoy theirselves but also get knowledge.

Corrected essay:
Lots of students, as well as me, take part in them. But some students say that we should not take part in them because it is a waste of time. But I do not think so. For instance, I take part in after-school exercise. I used to be very weak and unfit. Since I take part in it, I have been more and more healthy. I have got strength and power via the activities. Thanks to it, I am not afraid of running anymore. As you can see, after-school activities offer us a chance to improve ourselves. Through them, we are able to change ourselves into a new person who is far better than we used to be.
But on the other hand, we should choose activities which are really good for us. First of all, we should know what we exactly want and avoid spending too much time on useless things. Secondly, we are supposed to share our ideas with others.
I wish everyone to not only enjoy themselves but also gain knowledge.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Lots of students as well as me take part in them.
correct_sentence: Lots of students, as well as me, take part in them.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to the rules for using parenthetical elements in English, the phrase 〈as well as me〉, as an inserted component, needs to be separated from the main clause with commas to ensure clear sentence structure. Therefore, commas are added after 〈students〉 and before 〈take〉, changing it to: 『Lots of students, as well as me, take part in them.』

error_sentence: Lots of students as well as me take part in them.
correct_sentence: Lots of students, as well as me, take part in them.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to the rules for using parenthetical elements in English, the phrase 〈as well as me〉, as an inserted component, needs to be separated from the main clause with commas to ensure clear sentence structure. Therefore, commas are added after 〈students〉 and before 〈take〉, changing it to: 『Lots of students, as well as me, take part in them.』

error_sentence: Since I take part in it I have been more and more healthy.
correct_sentence: Since I take part in it, I have been more and more healthy.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to the writing conventions for adverbial clauses in English, a comma is needed after the clause 〈Since I take part in it〉 to separate it from the main clause and clarify the logical relationship of the sentence. Therefore, a comma 『,』 is added after 〈it〉, changing it to: 『Since I take part in it, ...』 to make the sentence structure clear.

error_sentence: Thanks to it, I am not afraid of running any more.
correct_sentence: Thanks to it, I am not afraid of running anymore.
error: any more
correction: anymore
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English collocations, the adverbial phrase 〈any more〉, when meaning 'no longer', should be combined into a single word 〈anymore〉. Therefore, 〈any more〉 is changed to 『I am not afraid of running anymore.』

error_sentence: I wish everyone to not only enjoy theirselves but also get knowledge.
correct_sentence: I wish everyone to not only enjoy themselves but also gain knowledge.
error: theirselves
correction: themselves
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the correct form of reflexive pronouns, 〈theirselves〉 is a misspelling; the correct form should be 『themselves』, expressing 'they themselves'. The original sentence is modified to 『I wish everyone to not only enjoy themselves but also gain knowledge.』.

error_sentence: I wish everyone to not only enjoy theirselves but also get knowledge.
correct_sentence: I wish everyone to not only enjoy themselves but also gain knowledge.
error: get
correction: gain
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the sentence's meaning, the verb 〈get〉 is not precise enough in this context for expressing 'acquiring knowledge'; a more suitable word would be 『gain』, which indicates gradual acquisition. Therefore, 〈get〉 is changed to 『gain』.