Writing prompt: Ban Smoking in Public Places

Student essay:
Chinese government has decided to ban smoking in public place,it will start from 2010 January 1st in order to prevent people from smoking in all public place.And government decide to show some signs about banning smoking to avoid people smoking. Figure shows that about 350 million people smokes and most of them are man,about 540 million people are effected by second-hand smoke ,even 10 thousand people in them will die every year.

Corrected essay:
The Chinese government has decided to ban smoking in public places. It will start from January 1st, 2010 in order to prevent people from smoking in all public places. And the government has decided to show some signs of banning smoking to prevent people from smoking. Figures show that about 350 million people smoke and most of them are men. About 540 million people are affected by second-hand smoke, and even 10 thousand people in them will die every year.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Chinese government has decided to ban smoking in public place,it will start from 2010 January 1st in order to prevent people from smoking in all public place.
correct_sentence: The Chinese government has decided to ban smoking in public places.
correction: The
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, when specifically referring to a particular government agency, the definite article 〈the〉 needs to be added before the country name. Therefore, 『The』 should be added before 〈Chinese government〉, changing it to 『The Chinese government』 to conform to specific expression norms.

error_sentence: Chinese government has decided to ban smoking in public place,it will start from 2010 January 1st in order to prevent people from smoking in all public place.
correct_sentence: The Chinese government has decided to ban smoking in public places. It will start from January 1st, 2010 in order to prevent people from smoking in all public places.
error: place,it
correction: places. It
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: According to the sentence meaning, 〈public place〉 generally refers to the category of "public places" and needs to be in plural form to express a general concept. Therefore, the singular noun 〈public place〉 is changed to the plural form 『public places』 to conform to English expression habits; ② Punctuation Error: According to English sentence structure rules, 〈public place〉 and 〈it will start〉 are two independent complete sentences and need to be separated by a period. Therefore, a period is added after 〈public place〉 resulting in 『public places.』; ③ Case Error: According to the rule of capitalizing the first letter of a sentence, after rewriting, 〈it〉 becomes the beginning of the sentence and should be capitalized as 『It』 to conform to sentence separation norms.

error_sentence: Chinese government has decided to ban smoking in public place,it will start from 2010 January 1st in order to prevent people from smoking in all public place.
correct_sentence: It will start from January 1st, 2010 in order to prevent people from smoking in all public places.
error: 2010
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Order Error: According to English date writing conventions, the standard format is 『month + day + year』, and a comma is required before the year. Therefore, the incorrect 〈2010 January 1st〉 is adjusted to the correct format 『January 1st, 2010』, and the redundant year position is deleted.

error_sentence: Chinese government has decided to ban smoking in public place,it will start from 2010 January 1st in order to prevent people from smoking in all public place.
correct_sentence: It will start from January 1st, 2010 in order to prevent people from smoking in all public places.
correction: , 2010
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English date punctuation rules, a comma must be added between the day and the year. Therefore, a comma and the year 『, 2010』 are added after 〈January 1st〉, forming the standard expression 『January 1st, 2010』; ② Word Order Error: According to English date expression conventions, the year must be placed after the day and separated by a comma. Therefore, the incorrect word order 〈2010 January 1st〉 is adjusted to 『January 1st, 2010』 to ensure conformity with standard format.

error_sentence: Chinese government has decided to ban smoking in public place,it will start from 2010 January 1st in order to prevent people from smoking in all public place.
correct_sentence: It will start from January 1st, 2010 in order to prevent people from smoking in all public places.
error: place
correction: places
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: In the context of expressing statistical data, 〈public place〉 as a generic concept requires the plural form. It represents all public venues, so it is changed to 『places』 to conform to English expression conventions.

error_sentence: And government decide to show some signs about banning smoking to avoid people smoking.
correct_sentence: And the government has decided to show some signs of banning smoking to prevent people from smoking.
error: government decide
correction: the government has decided
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Determiner Error: As a countable noun, 〈government〉 requires the definite article 『the』 when referring to a specific government. Therefore, 『the』 is added before 〈government〉 to form 『the government』 to meet grammatical requirements; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the policy decision is a completed action that has an impact on the present, so the present perfect tense should be used instead of the simple present tense. Therefore, 〈decide〉 is changed to 『has decided』, forming 『The government has decided』 to accurately express the tense meaning.

error_sentence: And government decide to show some signs about banning smoking to avoid people smoking.
correct_sentence: And the government has decided to show some signs of banning smoking to prevent people from smoking.
error: about
correction: of
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English fixed collocation rules, when the verb 〈signs〉 expresses the meaning of “indications”, it needs to be paired with the preposition 『of』 to introduce attribute content. Therefore, the incorrect preposition 〈about〉 is changed to the correct form 『of』, forming 『signs of』 to conform to grammatical norms.

error_sentence: And government decide to show some signs about banning smoking to avoid people smoking.
correct_sentence: And the government has decided to show some signs of banning smoking to prevent people from smoking.
error: avoid people
correction: prevent people from
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: According to verb usage rules, 〈avoid〉 is followed by a noun or gerund to mean "avoid doing something", whereas here the meaning “prevent someone from doing something” needs to be expressed. Therefore, the unsuitable 〈avoid〉 is changed to the more accurate 『prevent』 to correctly express a preventive action; ② Preposition Error: According to phrasal verb collocation principles, 『prevent』 needs to be used with the preposition 〈from〉 to form a complete expression. Therefore, the incorrect structure 〈avoid people〉 is modified to 『prevent people from』, forming a grammatically complete collocation.

error_sentence: Figure shows that about 350 million people smokes and most of them are man,about 540 million people are effected by second-hand smoke ,even 10 thousand people in them will die every year.
correct_sentence: Figures show that about 350 million people smoke and most of them are men.
error: Figure shows
correction: Figures show
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: In the context of presenting statistical data, the plural form 〈Figures〉 is usually used as the subject. At the same time, subject-verb agreement must be maintained, so the singular form is modified to 『Figures show』 to conform to English expression conventions.

error_sentence: Figure shows that about 350 million people smokes and most of them are man,about 540 million people are effected by second-hand smoke ,even 10 thousand people in them will die every year.
correct_sentence: Figures show that about 350 million people smoke and most of them are men.
error: smokes
correction: smoke
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: The subject 〈people〉 is a plural noun; according to the principle of subject-verb agreement, the predicate verb should be in its base form 『smoke』, not the third-person singular form. Therefore, it is corrected to 『people smoke』 to ensure grammatical correctness.

error_sentence: Figure shows that about 350 million people smokes and most of them are man,about 540 million people are effected by second-hand smoke ,even 10 thousand people in them will die every year.
correct_sentence: Figures show that about 350 million people smoke and most of them are men. About 540 million people are affected by second-hand smoke, and even 10 thousand people in them will die every year.
error: man,about
correction: men. About
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: In this sentence, when the pronoun 〈them〉 refers to a group of males, the corresponding noun should be in the plural form. Therefore, the singular noun 〈man〉 is changed to the plural 『men』 to maintain referential consistency; ② Punctuation Error: According to English sentence structure rules, a comma cannot connect two independent complete sentences. Therefore, the comma connecting the two sentences is changed to a period 『.』, and the first letter of the next sentence is capitalized to achieve correct sentence division; ③ Space Error: According to English written expression norms, a word following a punctuation mark must have a space after the punctuation. Therefore, 〈,about〉 should be changed to 『. About』 to conform to English written expression norms; ④ Case Error: According to the rule of capitalizing the first letter of a sentence, after rewriting, 〈about〉 becomes the beginning of the sentence and should be the capitalized pronoun 『About』 to conform to sentence separation norms.

error_sentence: Figure shows that about 350 million people smokes and most of them are man,about 540 million people are effected by second-hand smoke ,even 10 thousand people in them will die every year.
correct_sentence: About 540 million people are affected by second-hand smoke, and even 10 thousand people in them will die every year.
error: effected
correction: affected
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: The verb 〈effected〉 is an incorrect spelling; in the passive voice, the correct past participle of the verb meaning “to influence” is 『affected』. Therefore, the spelling error is corrected to ensure accuracy in word choice.

error_sentence: Figure shows that about 350 million people smokes and most of them are man,about 540 million people are effected by second-hand smoke ,even 10 thousand people in them will die every year.
correct_sentence: About 540 million people are affected by second-hand smoke, and even 10 thousand people in them will die every year.
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to the rules for connecting coordinate clauses, a conjunction is needed between the two independent clauses 〈540 million people are effected by second-hand smoke〉 and 〈even 10 thousand people in them will die every year〉. Therefore, the conjunction 『and』 is added after 〈smoke,〉, retaining the comma for separation and correctly linking the two clauses with the conjunction 〈and〉.