Writing prompt: Mobile Phones in Our Life

Student essay:
With the development of science, cell phones come along andit become more and more popular with students.
Cell phone is proud technology in the twenty-first century, it helps a lot. It's very convenient for us in daily life. Firstly, students can keep in touch with their parents through sending short messegas and make call during the school. Secondly, students can learn more knowledge and communicate with others to build up a deep friend ship. What's more, students can broaden their eyes and learn more about the world via the cell phones.

Corrected essay:
With the development of science, cell phones come along and have become more and more popular with students. The cell phone is a proud technology in the twenty-first century, it helps a lot. It's very convenient for us in daily life. Firstly, students can keep in touch with their parents through sending short messages and making calls during school. Secondly, students can learn more knowledge and communicate with others to build up a deep friendship. What's more, students can broaden their horizons and learn more about the world via cell phones.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: With the development of science, cell phones come along andit become more and more popular with students.

correct_sentence: With the development of science, cell phones come along and have become more and more popular with students.
error: andit
correction: and have
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Space Error: According to English writing conventions, words must be separated by spaces, so a space is added after 〈and〉 to conform to writing standards.; ② Verb Tense Error: This describes a change in state from the past to the present, so the present perfect tense should be used; therefore, 〈it〉 is changed to 『have』 to comply with grammatical rules.

error_sentence: With the development of science, cell phones come along andit become more and more popular with students.
 Cell phone is proud technology in the twenty-first century, it helps a lot.
correct_sentence: The cell phone is a proud technology in the twenty-first century, it helps a lot.
error: 
Cell
correction: The cell
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: The noun 〈Cell phone〉 at the beginning of the sentence requires the determiner 『The』 for specific reference; therefore, 〈Cell〉 is changed to 『The cell』 to comply with grammatical rules.

error_sentence: Cell phone is proud technology in the twenty-first century, it helps a lot.
correct_sentence: The cell phone is a proud technology in the twenty-first century, it helps a lot.
correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: The countable noun 〈technology〉 requires the indefinite article 『a』 before it to indicate a singular concept and general reference; therefore, 『a』 is added before 〈proud〉 to comply with grammatical rules.

error_sentence: Firstly, students can keep in touch with their parents through sending short messegas and make call during the school.
correct_sentence: Firstly, students can keep in touch with their parents through sending short messages and making calls during school.
error: messegas and make call during the
correction: messages and making calls during
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is intended to express "messages," so 〈messegas〉 is a misspelling of 『messages』; it needs to be changed to 『messages』 to make the sentence coherent.; ② Other Error: The preposition 〈through〉 should be followed by a gerund; therefore, 〈make〉 is changed to 『making』 to comply with grammatical rules.; ③ Noun Number Error: 〈call〉 here is a plural concept, so 〈call〉 is changed to 『calls』 to match the generality of the action.

error_sentence: Secondly, students can learn more knowledge and communicate with others to build up a deep friend ship.
correct_sentence: Secondly, students can learn more knowledge and communicate with others to build up a deep friendship.
error: friend ship
correction: friendship
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: There should be no space in the middle of the noun 〈friend ship〉; therefore, 〈friend ship〉 is changed to 『friendship』 to conform to writing standards.

error_sentence: What's more, students can broaden their eyes and learn more about the world via the cell phones.
correct_sentence: What's more, students can broaden their horizons and learn more about the world via cell phones.
error: eyes
correction: horizons
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: The fixed phrase "broaden one's horizons" is an idiomatic English expression; therefore, 〈eyes〉 is changed to 『horizons』 to correctly convey the meaning.

error_sentence: What's more, students can broaden their eyes and learn more about the world via the cell phones.
correct_sentence: What's more, students can broaden their horizons and learn more about the world via cell phones.
error: the
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: The plural noun 〈cell phones〉, when referring to a general category, does not require an article; therefore, 〈the〉 is deleted to comply with grammatical rules.