Writing prompt: Should Students Be Allowed to Use Cellphones at School?

Student essay:
There are more and more students using cellphones at school. This can be one of the problems for every student and teacher. Should students be allowed to use cellphones at school? Different people have different thoughts.
There are some advantages. If you use phones to learn English, you can improve very fast in English grammar and listening by using phones' app. When you use cellphones, you can know news at home and overseas.
A coin has two sides. There are also some people disagreeing it. Firest, many students may chat online or play games in the classes as they use cellphones. What is worse, some students even use cellphones in the bedroom after night.
As for me, I think it does not matter for me to use cellphones at school. It does not depend on whether the phones can be allowed. But it depends on if the users use it in a right way. Let us use cellphones rightly.

Corrected essay:
There are more and more students using cellphones at school. This can be one of the problems for every student and teacher. Should students be allowed to use cellphones at school? Different people have different thoughts.
There are some advantages. If you use phones to learn English, you can improve very fast in English grammar and listening by using phone apps. When you use cellphones, you can know news at home and overseas.
A coin has two sides. There are also some people disagreeing with it. First, many students may chat online or play games in class as they use cellphones. What is worse, some students even use cellphones in the bedroom at night.
As for me, I think it does not matter to use cellphones at school. It does not depend on whether the phones can be allowed, but it depends on if the users use them in a right way. Let us use cellphones rightly.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: If you use phones to learn English, you can improve very fast in English grammar and listening by using phones' app.
correct_sentence: If you use phones to learn English, you can improve very fast in English grammar and listening by using phone apps.
error: phones' app
correction: phone apps
error_type: Noun Possessive Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Noun Possessive Error: According to English grammar rules, a possessive form is not needed here; 〈phones'〉 indicates a plural noun possessive, which does not fit the context; the singular noun 『phone』 should be used to modify 〈app〉.; ② Noun Number Error: According to the sentence meaning, this refers to multiple applications; 〈app〉 should be in plural form; change 〈app〉 to 『apps』 to conform to common usage.

error_sentence: There are also some people disagreeing it.
correct_sentence: There are also some people disagreeing with it.
correction: with
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, the verb 〈disagree〉 needs to be paired with the preposition “with” to form the fixed phrase 『disagree with』, used to indicate the object. The original sentence 〈disagreeing it〉 lacks the preposition “with”; 『with』 needs to be added to complete the phrasal verb structure, making the sentence structure correct.

error_sentence: Firest, many students may chat online or play games in the classes as they use cellphones.
correct_sentence: First, many students may chat online or play games in class as they use cellphones.
error: Firest
correction: First
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, the intended meaning here is “first”, thus 〈Firest〉 is a misspelling of the sequential adverb 『First』; 〈Firest〉 needs to be changed to 『First』 to make the sentence meaning coherent.

error_sentence: Firest, many students may chat online or play games in the classes as they use cellphones.
correct_sentence: First, many students may chat online or play games in class as they use cellphones.
error: the classes
correction: class
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Word Redundancy Error: According to English grammar rules, the fixed phrase 〈in class〉 means “in the classroom” and does not require the article 〈the〉; in the original sentence, 〈the〉 is redundant and should be deleted.; ② Noun Number Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈in class〉 is a fixed phrase where 〈class〉 should be in singular form; in the original sentence, 〈classes〉 is in plural form, which does not conform to the fixed phrase rule, and should be changed to the singular form 『class』.

error_sentence: What is worse, some students even use cellphones in the bedroom after night.

correct_sentence: What is worse, some students even use cellphones in the bedroom at night.

error: after
correction: at
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to common English expression, the time phrase 〈at night〉 is a fixed collocation, meaning “in the evening”; the preposition 〈after〉 is not suitable for expressing this time point, therefore the incorrect preposition 〈after〉 in 〈after night〉 needs to be replaced with 『at』, changing it to 『at night』 to conform to idiomatic English expression.

error_sentence: As for me, I think it does not matter for me to use cellphones at school.
correct_sentence: As for me, I think it does not matter to use cellphones at school.
error: for me
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression habits, 〈for me〉 in the sentence is semantically redundant with 〈As for me〉 at the beginning of the sentence. Deleting 〈for me〉 can make the sentence more concise and avoid repetitive expression.

error_sentence: It does not depend on whether the phones can be allowed. But it depends on if the users use it in a right way.
correct_sentence: It does not depend on whether the phones can be allowed, but it depends on if the users use them in a right way.
error: . But
correction: , but
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses should be connected by a comma before the coordinating conjunction 〈but〉, not separated by a period; therefore, 〈. But〉 needs to be changed to 『, but』 to avoid incorrect sentence separation.; ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the conjunction 〈but〉 after a comma is not at the beginning of a sentence, so its first letter should be lowercase; in the original sentence, the capitalized 〈But〉 does not conform to conventions and should be changed to 『but』.

error_sentence: But it depends on if the users use it in a right way.
correct_sentence: It does not depend on whether the phones can be allowed, but it depends on if the users use them in a right way.
error: it
correction: them
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, a pronoun must agree in number with the noun it refers to. In the sentence, 〈it〉 refers to the preceding plural noun 〈phones〉; to maintain number agreement, 〈it〉 should be changed to the plural form 『them』.