Writing prompt: After-School Activities

Student essay:
Nowadays,after-school activities are becoming moro and more popular in high schools
there are lots of after-school activities in our school,such as,sports,art,seeing English films and so on.I enjoy the activities so much.I love playing badminton and drawing best.Because I can keep fit by doing sports and also relax myself.What's more,I feel pleased when I complete a perfect work.
And I can give you some advice so that you can enjoy yourselves.First,you have to choose the activities that you'are interested in.Second,you'd better spend proper time on it in order not to affect your study.Besides,you can hold some activities for students to make them relaxed under the heavy stress.
Friends,if you want to lead a happy life and learn more skills,welcome to after-school activities.You will improve yourselves here.

Corrected essay:
Nowadays, after-school activities are becoming more and more popular in high schools.
There are lots of after-school activities in our school, such as sports, art, seeing English films and so on. I enjoy the activities so much. I love playing badminton and drawing best, because I can keep fit by doing sports and also relax. What's more, I feel pleased when I complete a perfect work.
And I can give you some advice so that you can enjoy yourselves. First, you have to choose the activities that you're interested in. Second, you'd better spend proper time on it in order not to affect your study. Besides, you can hold some activities for students to make them relax under heavy stress.
Friends, if you want to lead a happy life and learn more skills, welcome to after-school activities. You will improve yourselves here.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Nowadays,after-school activities are becoming moro and more popular in high schools
there are lots of after-school activities in our school,such as,sports,art,seeing English films and so on.
correct_sentence: Nowadays, after-school activities are becoming more and more popular in high schools.

error: moro
correction: more
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, it intends to express 'more', so 〈moro〉 is a misspelling of 『more』; it needs to be changed to 『more』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: Nowadays,after-school activities are becoming moro and more popular in high schools
there are lots of after-school activities in our school,such as,sports,art,seeing English films and so on.
correct_sentence: Nowadays, after-school activities are becoming more and more popular in high schools.
 There are lots of after-school activities in our school, such as sports, art, seeing English films and so on.
error: 
there
correction: .
There
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: 〈Nowadays,after-school activities are becoming moro and more popular in high schools〉 and 〈there are lots of after-school activities in our school〉 contain independent subject-verb structures and can be independent sentences, therefore 〈there〉 is changed to 『. There』.

error_sentence: Nowadays,after-school activities are becoming moro and more popular in high schools
there are lots of after-school activities in our school,such as,sports,art,seeing English films and so on.
correct_sentence: There are lots of after-school activities in our school, such as sports, art, seeing English films and so on.
error: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, no comma is needed after 〈such as〉 when followed by a list of items, so the 〈,〉 after 〈as〉 is deleted to make the sentence more concise and fluent.

error_sentence: I love playing badminton and drawing best. Because I can keep fit by doing sports and also relax myself.
correct_sentence: I love playing badminton and drawing best, because I can keep fit by doing sports and also relax.
error: .Because
correction: , because
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: The subordinate clause introduced by the conjunction 〈Because〉 cannot stand as an independent sentence and needs to be connected to the main clause 〈I love...best〉 with a comma, so the period 『.』 is changed to a comma 『,』; ② Space Error: A space should follow the comma before the next word, so 〈.Because〉 is changed to 『, because』 to conform to conventions.

error_sentence: Because I can keep fit by doing sports and also relax myself.
correct_sentence: I love playing badminton and drawing best, because I can keep fit by doing sports and also relax.
error: myself
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: The verb 〈relax〉 itself already implies 'to make oneself relax', adding 〈myself〉 causes semantic repetition, therefore 〈relax〉 is deleted to make the sentence concise and fluent.

error_sentence: First,you have to choose the activities that you'are interested in.
correct_sentence: First, you have to choose the activities that you're interested in.
error: you'are
correction: you're
error_type: Contraction Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Contraction Error: 〈you'are〉 is an incorrect contraction of “you are”; the correct contraction should be 『you're』, so 〈you'are〉 is changed to 『you're』 to conform to writing conventions.

error_sentence: Second,you'd better spend proper time on it in order not to affect your study.
correct_sentence: Second, you'd better spend proper time on it in order not to affect your study.
error: you'd
correction:  you'd
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: A space needs to be added after the comma 〈,〉 to separate it from the following word; the original phrase 〈Second,you'd〉 should be changed to 『Second, you'd』 to conform to writing conventions.

error_sentence: Besides,you can hold some activities for students to make them relaxed under the heavy stress.

correct_sentence: Besides, you can hold some activities for students to make them relax under heavy stress.

error: relaxed under the
correction: relax under
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Nonfinite Verb Form Error: The causative verb 〈make〉 should be followed by the base form of the verb, so 『relaxed』 should be changed to 『relax』 to conform to grammatical rules; ② Determiner Error: 〈heavy stress〉 is a general concept and does not require the definite article 〈the〉 for modification, so 〈the〉 is deleted to conform to grammatical rules.