Writing prompt: Host Family

Student essay:
Dear Mr.Smith,
I'm L,a middle school student from China and I'm study in London now.I'm writing this letter to tell you I want to live in a host family.
My suggestions are as follows.Firstly,the hoster of the house must be enthusiastic and he can speak English fluently,so it's easy for me to communicate with him.Secondly,I hope the hoster can offer me to free wash my clothes and I can cook by myself.Finally,it's better that my host family is in the center of the city and it's convenient for me to take the subway to my school.I believe I can get along well with other people in the host family.
I'm looking forward to hearing from you.
yours,
L

Corrected essay:
Dear Mr. Smith,
I'm L, a middle school student from China and I'm studying in London now. I'm writing this letter to tell you I want to live in a host family.
My suggestions are as follows. Firstly, the host of the house must be enthusiastic and he can speak English fluently, so it's easy for me to communicate with him. Secondly, I hope the host can allow me to wash my clothes for free and I can cook by myself. Finally, it's better if my host family is in the center of the city so it's convenient for me to take the subway to my school. I believe I can get along well with other people in the host family.
I'm looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours,
L

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Dear Mr.Smith,
I'm L,a middle school student from China and I'm study in London now.
correct_sentence: Dear Mr. Smith,
I'm L, a middle school student from China and I'm studying in London now.
error: study
correction: studying
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, the structure of the present continuous tense is 'be verb + present participle'. In the original sentence “I'm study”, “I'm” is the contraction of the be verb “am” and the subject “I”; at this time, the verb “study” should use the present participle form “studying” to form “I'm studying”, in order to correctly express the current ongoing state of “studying in London now”, therefore 〈study〉 should be changed to 『studying』.

error_sentence: I'm writing this letter to tell you I want to live in a host family.

correct_sentence: I'm writing this letter to tell you I want to live in a host family.

error: I'm
correction: I'm

error_sentence: Firstly,the hoster of the house must be enthusiastic and he can speak English fluently,so it's easy for me to communicate with him.
correct_sentence: Firstly, the host of the house must be enthusiastic and he can speak English fluently, so it's easy for me to communicate with him.
error: hoster
correction: host
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: According to English vocabulary norms, 〈hoster〉 is an irregular noun form; when expressing meanings such as “host family owner”, “landlord”, or “host”, the correct noun is 『host』; the use of 〈hoster〉 in the original sentence does not conform to English vocabulary expression habits, so 〈hoster〉 should be replaced with 『host』 to make the expression conform to norms.

error_sentence: Secondly,I hope the hoster can offer me to free wash my clothes and I can cook by myself.
correct_sentence: Secondly, I hope the host can allow me to wash my clothes for free and I can cook by myself.
error: hoster can offer
correction: host can allow
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Noun Error: In the original sentence, “hoster” is spelled incorrectly, the correct form should be 『host』; the repeated occurrence of 〈hoster〉 needs to be uniformly corrected to 『host』 to make the expression conform to English vocabulary norms; ② Verb Choice Error: According to English vocabulary usage, 〈offer〉 is usually used in the structure “offer sth. (to sb.)”, meaning “to actively provide something (to someone)”, while the semantics of the original sentence is “allow me to do something”; in this case, 『allow』 should be used, forming the structure “allow sb. to do sth.”, to make the expression conform to semantic logic.

error_sentence: Secondly,I hope the hoster can offer me to free wash my clothes and I can cook by myself.
correct_sentence: Secondly, I hope the host can allow me to wash my clothes for free and I can cook by myself.
error: free
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English grammar rules, the position of 〈free〉 in “to free wash” does not conform to the grammatical rule of adverbs modifying verbs, and “for free” already expresses the meaning of “free of charge” later on; here, 〈free〉 is semantically repetitive; the redundant 〈free〉 should be deleted to make the sentence concise, fluent, and conform to grammatical norms.

error_sentence: Secondly,I hope the hoster can offer me to free wash my clothes and I can cook by myself.
correct_sentence: Secondly, I hope the host can allow me to wash my clothes for free and I can cook by myself.
correction: for free
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Word Order Error: In English, when the adjective 〈free〉 expresses “free of charge”, it is often paired with the preposition 〈for〉 to form the fixed phrase “for free”; the original sentence only uses 〈free〉 without pairing it with 〈for〉, which does not conform to English expression habits, so 〈for〉 should be added to make the expression complete and standard; ② Preposition Error: The correct expression for “do sth. for free” is “do sth. for free”; the original sentence lacks the preposition 〈for〉, leading to a preposition collocation error, so “for free” should be added after 〈wash my clothes〉 to make the sentence conform to preposition collocation rules.

error_sentence: Finally,it's better that my host family is in the center of the city and it's convenient for me to take the subway to my school.
correct_sentence: Finally, it's better if my host family is in the center of the city so it's convenient for me to take the subway to my school.
error: that
correction: if
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, when expressing a hypothetical conditional relationship like “it would be better if...”, the conjunction 〈if〉 should be used; the original sentence uses 〈that〉, which does not meet the expression requirements for conditional sentences, so 〈that〉 should be changed to 『if』 to enable the sentence to correctly express the conditional relationship.

error_sentence: Finally,it's better that my host family is in the center of the city and it's convenient for me to take the subway to my school.
correct_sentence: Finally, it's better if my host family is in the center of the city so it's convenient for me to take the subway to my school.
error: and
correction: so
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar and the logical relationship of the sentence, the preceding clause “if the host family is in the city center” is the cause, and the following clause “it is convenient to take the subway to school” is the result, indicating a cause-and-effect relationship; the original sentence uses 〈and〉, which expresses a parallel relationship and cannot accurately convey this logic, so 〈and〉 should be changed to the conjunction 『so』, which indicates a result, to make the logical relationship of the sentence clear and the expression accurate.

error_sentence: yours,
L
correct_sentence: Yours,
L
error: yours
correction: Yours
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English letter format norms, the complimentary close 〈Yours〉 at the end of a letter requires the first letter to be capitalized; in the original sentence, the first letter of 〈yours〉 is lowercase, which does not conform to the norm, so 〈yours〉 should be changed to the capitalized form 『Yours』 to make the letter format correct.