Writing prompt: My Birthday

Student essay:
I am 14 years old now.In the 14 years,I received many gifts.But I received the best friend is a book named if gave me three days to light.I were pleased to receieve this gift.It tells a very strong and brave woman the study of career and be deaf and mute life. Then it tells us to cherish life to learn to persevere.Because of it, l learned more.This book taught me a lot.It made me learn to persevere.This is the best l have ever received a gift. So l like it much too.

Corrected essay:
I am 14 years old now. In these 14 years, I have received many gifts. But the best gift I received is a book named If I Were Given Three Days of Light. I was pleased to receive this gift. It tells the story of a very strong and brave woman, her study career and her life being deaf and mute. Then it tells us to cherish life and learn to persevere. Because of it, I learned more. This book taught me a lot. It made me learn to persevere. This is the best gift I have ever received. So I like it very much.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: In the 14 years,I received many gifts.
correct_sentence: In these 14 years, I have received many gifts.
error: the
correction: these
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, the determiner 〈the〉 cannot clearly refer to the time range, so 〈the〉 needs to be changed to 『these』 to limit 〈14 years〉 to meet the contextual requirements.

error_sentence: In the 14 years,I received many gifts.
correct_sentence: In these 14 years, I have received many gifts.
correction: have
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the present perfect tense should be used here, while 〈received〉 in the original sentence is in the simple past tense, so 〈received〉 needs to be changed to the present perfect tense 『have received』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: But I received the best friend is a book named if gave me three days to light.
correct_sentence: But the best gift I received is a book named If I Were Given Three Days of Light.
error: I received
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: According to the context, the original sentence structure is chaotic. The subject of the original sentence 〈I〉 conflicts with the subject of the predicative clause 〈the best friend〉. 〈I received〉 lacks necessary connection and logical linkage before and after, leading to semantic confusion. Therefore, the redundant 〈I received〉 needs to be deleted to conform to the semantics.

error_sentence: But I received the best friend is a book named if gave me three days to light.
correct_sentence: But the best gift I received is a book named If I Were Given Three Days of Light.
error: friend
correction: gift I received
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Error: According to the context, the intention here is to express “the best gift”. The original word 〈friend〉 does not fit the meaning of the sentence, so 〈friend〉 needs to be changed to 『gift I received』 to make the meaning clearer.

error_sentence: But I received the best friend is a book named if gave me three days to light.
correct_sentence: But the best gift I received is a book named If I Were Given Three Days of Light.
error: if gave me three days to light
correction: If I Were Given Three Days of Light
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, content words in book titles need to be capitalized. Therefore, the book title 〈if gave me three days to light〉 needs to be changed to 『If I Were Given Three Days of Light』 to accurately express the book title.

error_sentence: I were pleased to receieve this gift.
correct_sentence: I was pleased to receive this gift.
error: were
correction: was
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: According to English grammar rules, there is a subject-verb agreement error in the original sentence. The subject 〈I〉 is first-person singular, and the predicate 〈were〉 in the original sentence is in plural form. Therefore, the verb 〈were〉 needs to be changed to the singular form 『was』 to maintain subject-verb agreement.

error_sentence: I were pleased to receieve this gift.
correct_sentence: I was pleased to receive this gift.
error: receieve
correction: receive
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express “receive”. Therefore, 〈receieve〉 is a misspelling of 『receive』, and 〈receieve〉 needs to be changed to 『receive』 to make the sentence fluent.

error_sentence: It tells a very strong and brave woman the study of career and be deaf and mute life.
correct_sentence: It tells the story of a very strong and brave woman, her study career and her life being deaf and mute.
correction: the story of
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Error: According to the context, the original sentence lacks an object. The transitive verb 〈tells〉 needs to be followed by an object. Therefore, 『the story of』 needs to be added as a noun phrase to accurately express the content being told.

error_sentence: It tells a very strong and brave woman the study of career and be deaf and mute life.
correct_sentence: It tells the story of a very strong and brave woman, her study career and her life being deaf and mute.
error: the study of
correction: , her study
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Error: According to the context, this means "her study career". The form 〈the study of〉 is not suitable for the context and should be changed to 『her study』 to conform to logic and semantic coherence.

error_sentence: It tells a very strong and brave woman the study of career and be deaf and mute life.
correct_sentence: It tells the story of a very strong and brave woman, her study career and her life being deaf and mute.
error: be
correction: her life being
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to the context, what is required here is the present participle form indicating an accompanying state. In the original sentence, 〈be〉 does not conform to the semantic logic of an accompanying action. Therefore, it is changed to 『her life being』 as an adverbial of accompaniment to fit the context.

error_sentence: It tells a very strong and brave woman the study of career and be deaf and mute life.
correct_sentence: It tells the story of a very strong and brave woman, her study career and her life being deaf and mute.
error: life
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression habits, a word that appears twice only needs to be kept once. In the original sentence, 〈life〉 appears twice. Therefore, deleting the second redundant 〈life〉 can make the sentence more concise without affecting its meaning.

error_sentence: Then it tells us to cherish life to learn to persevere.
correct_sentence: Then it tells us to cherish life and learn to persevere.
error: to
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, in the original sentence, 〈cherish life〉 and 〈learn to persevere〉 as parallel structures need to be connected by 『and』. Therefore, 〈to〉 in the original sentence needs to be changed to 『and』 to conform to English grammar rules.

error_sentence: Because of it, l learned more.
correct_sentence: Because of it, I learned more.
error: l
correction: I
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express “I”. Therefore, 〈l〉 is a misspelling of 『I』, and 〈l〉 needs to be changed to 『I』 to make the sentence fluent.

error_sentence: This is the best l have ever received a gift.
correct_sentence: This is the best gift I have ever received.
error: l
correction: gift I
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Noun Error: According to the context, the intention here is to express “the best gift”. The original sentence is missing a noun, so 『gift』 needs to be added as the predicative of the main clause to fit the context; ② Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express “I”. Therefore, 〈l〉 is a misspelling of 『I』, and 〈l〉 needs to be changed to 『I』 to make the sentence fluent.

error_sentence: This is the best l have ever received a gift.
correct_sentence: This is the best gift I have ever received.
error: a gift
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to the context, 〈a gift〉 in the original sentence is semantically redundant with 『the best gift』, causing word redundancy. Therefore, 〈a gift〉 needs to be deleted to make the sentence more concise.

error_sentence: So l like it much too.
correct_sentence: So I like it very much.
error: l
correction: I
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express “I”. Therefore, 〈l〉 is a misspelling of 『I』, and 〈l〉 needs to be changed to 『I』 to make the sentence fluent.

error_sentence: So l like it much too.
correct_sentence: So I like it very much.
error: much too
correction: very much
error_type: Adverb Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Adverb Error: According to English expression habits, 『very much』 is an adverb of degree, usually placed at the end of the sentence. 〈much too〉 usually modifies adjectives. Therefore, 〈much too〉 in the original sentence should be changed to 『very much』 to make the meaning accurate and the structure clear.