Writing prompt: My Friend Linda

Student essay:
When I was only 12 years old I met Linda for the first time.Gradually,we became the best friends.She is an apple-faced plumply girl,has bright eyes,white skin and short hair,prefers to wear simply T-shirt and jeans.
The first day we came to middle school wearing the school uniform,we were introducing ourselves to new classmates.I said hello to her passionately,but she replied coldly.So over a long period,I had regarded Linda as a person who is difficult to get along with.Year passed,we went to school together by bicycle,got close with each other.Till that tme,I found that she is an open-hearted but also sensitive girl.Because of the"open-hearted".we keep no secrets from each other,but quarrel occasionally as well.But we try our best to adapt and understand each other and keep the friendship finally.
The thing I admire her most was that this year her mother unfortunately died because of the cancer,I was very worried about her mental state.But after a few days,she picked herself up and determinated to study harder than before and lead a positive life from that on to make her mother delighted.
Five years passed,we grew up together.I will cherish this friendship,cherish Linda,the important person in my life.

Corrected essay:
When I was only 12 years old, I met Linda for the first time. Gradually, we became best friends. She is an apple-faced, plump girl with bright eyes, white skin and short hair, and prefers to wear simple T-shirts and jeans. The first day we came to middle school wearing the school uniform, we introduced ourselves to new classmates. I said hello to her passionately, but she replied coldly. So over a long period, I regarded Linda as a person who was difficult to get along with. Years passed, we went to school together by bicycle and got close to each other. Till that time, I found that she was an open-hearted but also sensitive girl. Because of being "open-hearted," we kept no secrets from each other, but quarreled occasionally as well. But we tried our best to adapt to and understand each other and keep the friendship finally.
The thing I admired about her most was that this year her mother unfortunately died because of cancer. I was very worried about her mental state. But after a few days, she picked herself up and was determined to study harder than before and lead a positive life from then on to make her mother delighted.
Five years passed. We grew up together. I will cherish this friendship and cherish Linda, the important person in my life.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: When I was only 12 years old I met Linda for the first time.
correct_sentence: When I was only 12 years old, I met Linda for the first time.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: A comma is needed after the adverbial clause of time 〈When I was only 12 years old〉 to separate it from the main clause, so 『,』 is added after 〈old〉 to make the sentence structure standard.

error_sentence: Gradually,we became the best friends.
correct_sentence: Gradually, we became best friends.
error: the
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Word Redundancy: 〈best friends〉 is a general concept and does not require the definite article 〈the〉, so 〈the〉 is deleted to conform to idiomatic expression.

error_sentence: She is an apple-faced plumply girl,has bright eyes,white skin and short hair,prefers to wear simply T-shirt and jeans.

correct_sentence: She is an apple-faced, plump girl with bright eyes, white skin and short hair, and prefers to wear simple T-shirts and jeans.
error: plumply girl,has
correction: , plump girl with
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: A comma is needed here to separate the coordinate sentence elements 〈apple-faced〉 and 〈plumply girl〉, so 『,』 is added after 〈apple-faced〉 to make the sentence structure standard; ② PoS Confusion Error: 〈plumply〉 is an adverb, but an adjective is needed here to modify the noun 〈girl〉, so 〈plumply〉 is changed to 『plump』 to meet grammatical and semantic requirements; ③ Preposition Error: 『with』 should be used here to connect noun phrases to describe physical features, so 〈has〉 is changed to 『with』 to conform to English expression habits.

error_sentence: She is an apple-faced plumply girl,has bright eyes,white skin and short hair,prefers to wear simply T-shirt and jeans.

correct_sentence: She is an apple-faced, plump girl with bright eyes, white skin and short hair, and prefers to wear simple T-shirts and jeans.
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: The sentence lacks the conjunction 『and』 to connect the two parallel descriptive parts 〈short hair〉 and 〈prefers〉, so 『and』 is added before 〈prefers〉 to make the meaning coherent.

error_sentence: She is an apple-faced plumply girl,has bright eyes,white skin and short hair,prefers to wear simply T-shirt and jeans.

correct_sentence: She is an apple-faced, plump girl with bright eyes, white skin and short hair, and prefers to wear simple T-shirts and jeans.
error: simply
correction: simple
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: 〈simply〉 is an adverb, but an adjective is needed here to modify the noun 〈T-shirt〉, so 〈simply〉 is changed to 『simple』 to conform to English grammar rules.

error_sentence: She is an apple-faced plumply girl,has bright eyes,white skin and short hair,prefers to wear simply T-shirt and jeans.

correct_sentence: She is an apple-faced, plump girl with bright eyes, white skin and short hair, and prefers to wear simple T-shirts and jeans.
error: shirt
correction: shirts
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Number Error: There is no singular determiner before 〈T-shirt〉 and the context is generic, so 〈shirt〉 is changed to 『shirts』 to conform to English grammar rules.

error_sentence: She is an apple-faced plumply girl,has bright eyes,white skin and short hair,prefers to wear simply T-shirt and jeans.

correct_sentence: She is an apple-faced, plump girl with bright eyes, white skin and short hair, and prefers to wear simple T-shirts and jeans. The first day we came to middle school wearing the school uniform, we introduced ourselves to new classmates.
error: 


error_sentence: The first day we came to middle school wearing the school uniform,we were introducing ourselves to new classmates.
correct_sentence: The first day we came to middle school wearing the school uniform, we introduced ourselves to new classmates.
error: were introducing
correction: introduced
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: This describes a past event, so the verb needs to be in the past tense; therefore, 〈were introducing〉 is changed to 『introduced』 to match the context tense.

error_sentence: So over a long period,I had regarded Linda as a person who is difficult to get along with.
correct_sentence: So over a long period, I regarded Linda as a person who was difficult to get along with.
error: had
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy: This describes a past event, and the verb needs to be in the past tense; 〈regarded〉 itself already indicates a past action, so 〈had〉 is deleted to match the context tense.

error_sentence: So over a long period,I had regarded Linda as a person who is difficult to get along with.
correct_sentence: So over a long period, I regarded Linda as a person who was difficult to get along with.
error: is
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: This describes a past event, so the verb needs to be in the past tense; therefore, 〈is〉 is changed to 『was』 to match the context tense.

error_sentence: Year passed,we went to school together by bicycle,got close with each other.
correct_sentence: Years passed, we went to school together by bicycle and got close to each other.
error: Year
correction: Years
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Number Error: When 〈Year〉 is used as a subject to indicate a period of time, it needs the plural form 『Years』, so 〈Year〉 is changed to 『Years』 to conform to grammatical rules.

error_sentence: Year passed,we went to school together by bicycle,got close with each other.
correct_sentence: Years passed, we went to school together by bicycle and got close to each other.
error: ,
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: The sentence lacks a conjunction between the actions 〈went to school〉 and 〈got close〉, so 〈,〉 is changed to 『and』 to maintain coherence.

error_sentence: Year passed,we went to school together by bicycle,got close with each other.
correct_sentence: Years passed, we went to school together by bicycle and got close to each other.
error: with
correction: to
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: The correct fixed phrase is “get close to,” meaning “to approach,” so 〈with〉 is changed to 『to』 to conform to idiomatic expression.

error_sentence: Till that tme,I found that she is an open-hearted but also sensitive girl.
correct_sentence: Till that time, I found that she was an open-hearted but also sensitive girl.
error: tme
correction: time
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, the intention here is to express “time,” so 〈tme〉 is a misspelling of 『time』; 〈tme〉 needs to be changed to 『time』 to make the sentence meaning clear.

error_sentence: Till that tme,I found that she is an open-hearted but also sensitive girl.
correct_sentence: Till that time, I found that she was an open-hearted but also sensitive girl.
error: is
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: This describes a past event, so the verb needs to be in the past tense; therefore, 〈is〉 is changed to 『was』 to match the context tense.

error_sentence: Because of the"open-hearted".we keep no secrets from each other,but quarrel occasionally as well.
correct_sentence: Because of being "open-hearted," we kept no secrets from each other, but quarreled occasionally as well.
error: the"open-hearted".we keep
correction: being "open-hearted," we kept
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Sentence Structure Error: 〈Because of〉 needs to be followed by a nominal structure; considering the context, the intention is to express “because of being open-hearted,” so 『being』 should be used to represent “the state of being open-hearted,” thus 〈the〉 is changed to 『being』 to make the sentence grammatically complete; ② Space Error: 『being』 here needs a space before the following quoted content, so 〈the"open-hearted"〉 is changed to 『being "open-hearted』 to conform to standards; ③ Verb Tense Error: This describes a past event, so the verb needs to be in the past tense; therefore, 〈keep〉 is changed to 『kept』 to match the context tense.

error_sentence: Because of the"open-hearted".we keep no secrets from each other,but quarrel occasionally as well.
correct_sentence: Because of being "open-hearted," we kept no secrets from each other, but quarreled occasionally as well.
error: quarrel
correction: quarreled
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: This describes a past event, so the verb needs to be in the past tense; therefore, 〈quarrel〉 is changed to 『quarreled』 to match the context tense.

error_sentence: But we try our best to adapt and understand each other and keep the friendship finally.

correct_sentence: But we tried our best to adapt to and understand each other and keep the friendship finally.

error: try
correction: tried
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: This describes a past event, so the verb needs to be in the past tense; therefore, 〈try〉 is changed to 『tried』 to match the context tense.

error_sentence: But we try our best to adapt and understand each other and keep the friendship finally.

correct_sentence: But we tried our best to adapt to and understand each other and keep the friendship finally.

correction: to
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: The correct fixed phrase is 『adapt to』, meaning “to adjust to,” so the preposition 『to』 is added after 〈adapt〉 to conform to idiomatic expression rules.

error_sentence: The thing I admire her most was that this year her mother unfortunately died because of the cancer,I was very worried about her mental state.
correct_sentence: The thing I admired about her most was that this year her mother unfortunately died because of cancer.
error: admire
correction: admired about
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: This describes a past event, so the verb needs to be in the past tense; therefore, 〈admire〉 is changed to 『admired』 to match the context tense; ② Preposition Error: 〈admire〉 should be followed by 『about』 to specify the aspect, so 『about』 is added after 『admired』 to complete the verb phrase.

error_sentence: The thing I admire her most was that this year her mother unfortunately died because of the cancer,I was very worried about her mental state.
correct_sentence: The thing I admired about her most was that this year her mother unfortunately died because of cancer.
error: the cancer,
correction: cancer.
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Word Redundancy: The disease name 〈cancer〉 as an uncountable noun does not require an article before it, so 〈the〉 is deleted to conform to grammatical rules; ② Punctuation Error: The original sentence 〈The thing I admire her most was that this year her mother unfortunately died because of the cancer〉 is a declarative sentence and is complete, so 〈,〉 is changed to 『.』 to conform to punctuation standards.

error_sentence: But after a few days,she picked herself up and determinated to study harder than before and lead a positive life from that on to make her mother delighted.

correct_sentence: But after a few days, she picked herself up and was determined to study harder than before and lead a positive life from then on to make her mother delighted.

error: determinated
correction: was determined
error_type: Other Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Other Error: The correct fixed phrase is “be determined to,” meaning “to resolve,” so 〈determinated〉 is changed to 『was determined』 to conform to idiomatic expression rules.

error_sentence: But after a few days,she picked herself up and determinated to study harder than before and lead a positive life from that on to make her mother delighted.

correct_sentence: But after a few days, she picked herself up and was determined to study harder than before and lead a positive life from then on to make her mother delighted.

error: that
correction: then
error_type: Adverb Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adverb Error: The correct fixed phrase is 『from then on』, meaning “from that time forward,” so 〈that〉 is changed to 『then』 to conform to idiomatic expression rules.

error_sentence: Five years passed,we grew up together.
correct_sentence: Five years passed. We grew up together.
error: ,we
correction: . We
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: 〈Five years passed〉 and 〈we grew up together〉 contain independent subject-verb structures and can be separate sentences, so 〈,〉 is changed to 『.』 and 〈we〉 is changed to 『We』; ② Space Error: According to English writing conventions, end-of-sentence punctuation should be followed by a space before the first word of the next sentence, so 〈,we〉 is changed to 『. We』 to conform to standards.

error_sentence: I will cherish this friendship,cherish Linda,the important person in my life.
correct_sentence: I will cherish this friendship and cherish Linda, the important person in my life.
error: ,
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: The sentence lacks the conjunction 『and』 to connect the two parallel actions 〈cherish〉, so 〈,〉 is changed to 『and』 to maintain coherence.