Writing prompt: My Memories of My First Year at School

Student essay:
As time goes by,I've already been a member of The NO.1 Senior High school .Everything in the school was new to me,So I feel very excited.
When i first saw the buildings of my school,I felt surprised that the environment there was very fantastic.The school was clean and many trees and flowers are in it.Ithought it was a good place to study.
There were many activities in first grade.Guitar optional course was my favourite.Because I had learnt the guitar before and I'm good at playing it.
My first English teacher was a handsome middle-aged man.His pronunciation of Engliah was pretty good.His method of teaching was nothing like that of teachers in my Junior High school.And I thought I could adapt this rapidly.
I also made some new friends there.Zhang Jiyuan became one of my best friends.We both lived in the same dormitory.I thought I could make more friends soon.
I'm looking forward to studing hard and having good days in the new term.

Corrected essay:
As time went by, I had already become a member of The NO.1 Senior High School. Everything in the school was new to me, so I felt very excited.
When I first saw the buildings of my school, I felt surprised that the environment there was very fantastic. The school was clean and many trees and flowers were in it. I thought it was a good place to study.
There were many activities in first grade. The guitar optional course was my favourite because I had learnt the guitar before and I was good at playing it.
My first English teacher was a handsome middle-aged man. His pronunciation of English was pretty good. His method of teaching was nothing like that of teachers in my Junior High School. And I thought I could adapt to this rapidly.
I also made some new friends there. Zhang Jiyuan became one of my best friends. We both lived in the same dormitory. I thought I could make more friends soon.
I was looking forward to studying hard and having good days in the new term.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: As time goes by,I've already been a member of The NO.1
correct_sentence: As time went by, I had already become a member of The NO.1
error: goes
correction: went
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, this describes a past event, requiring the past tense; the original sentence uses 〈goes〉 in the simple present tense, which needs to be changed to 『went』 to maintain tense consistency throughout the text.

error_sentence: As time goes by,I've already been a member of The NO.1
correct_sentence: As time went by, I had already become a member of The NO.1
error: I've already been
correction: I had already become
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the subordinate clause uses the simple past tense, and the main clause requires the past perfect tense to indicate an action completed before another past event; the original phrase 〈I've already been〉 is a verb tense error and should be changed to 『I had already become』; ② Verb Choice Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, 〈been〉 indicates a continuous state, whereas here the meaning of 'becoming' as an action is intended, making 『become』 more accurate; the original 〈been〉 is a verb choice error.

error_sentence: Senior High school .Everything in the school was new to me,So I feel very excited.

correct_sentence: Senior High School. Everything in the school was new to me, so I felt very excited.

error: school .Everything
correction: School. Everything
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Case Error: According to English writing conventions, all content words in the proper noun 〈Senior High school〉 should be capitalized, so 〈school〉 should be changed to 『School』; ② Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space should follow a period before starting a new sentence; the original 〈school.Everything〉 lacks a space, which needs to be added for proper formatting.

error_sentence: Senior High school .Everything in the school was new to me,So I feel very excited.

correct_sentence: Everything in the school was new to me, so I felt very excited.

error: So I feel
correction: so I felt
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the conjunction 〈So〉 in a compound sentence should be lowercase as 『so』 to indicate a cause-and-effect relationship; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the main clause tense is past (was); the tense of the original verb 〈feel〉 does not match the context and needs to be changed to the past tense 『felt』 to maintain tense consistency.

error_sentence: When i first saw the buildings of my school,I felt surprised that the environment there was very fantastic.
correct_sentence: When I first saw the buildings of my school, I felt surprised that the environment there was very fantastic.
error: i
correction: I
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first-person pronoun 〈i〉 must always be capitalized as 『I』; in the original sentence, 〈i〉 is not capitalized, which is a case error and should be changed to 『I』 to comply with English writing conventions.

error_sentence: The school was clean and many trees and flowers are in it.
correct_sentence: The school was clean and many trees and flowers were in it.
error: are
correction: were
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the main clause tense is past (was); when describing a past state, the tense of the linking verb 〈are〉 in the coordinate clause is inconsistent with the context, which is a verb tense error. 〈are〉 should be changed to the past tense 『were』 to maintain tense consistency and suit the contextual requirements.

error_sentence: Ithought it was a good place to study.

correct_sentence: I thought it was a good place to study.

error: Ithought
correction: I thought
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, the word 〈lthought〉 lacks a necessary space and should be separated into 『I thought』 to correctly express the relationship between the subject and the verb, forming the correct phrase 『I thought』.

error_sentence: Guitar optional course was my favourite.
correct_sentence: The guitar optional course was my favourite because I had learnt the guitar before and I was good at playing it.

error: Guitar
correction: The guitar
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the noun phrase 〈Guitar optional course〉 lacks a necessary determiner; here, it refers to a specific 〈optional course〉, so 『The』 needs to be added before 〈Guitar〉 to specify the course, making the noun phrase complete, thus changing 〈Guitar〉 to 『The guitar』.

error_sentence: Guitar optional course was my favourite. Because I had learnt the guitar before and I'm good at playing it.

correct_sentence: The guitar optional course was my favourite because I had learnt the guitar before and I was good at playing it.

error: .Because
correction: because
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, a clause introduced by 〈Because〉 cannot stand alone as a sentence; the original 〈.Because〉 uses an inappropriate punctuation mark, and the period needs to be deleted; ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, when connecting main and subordinate clauses, a clause introduced by 〈Because〉 cannot stand alone as a sentence, and it should be in lowercase here. In the original sentence, 〈Because〉 is capitalized and stands as a separate sentence, which is incorrect; 〈Because〉 needs to be changed to 『because』 to correctly connect the main and subordinate clauses, ensuring grammatical and writing correctness.

error_sentence: Because I had learnt the guitar before and I'm good at playing it.

correct_sentence: The guitar optional course was my favourite because I had learnt the guitar before and I was good at playing it.

error: 'm
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, when describing a past situation, the tense of the linking verb 〈'm〉 is inconsistent with the context; tense consistency needs to be maintained here, and the present tense 〈'm〉 should be changed to the past tense 『was』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: His pronunciation of Engliah was pretty good.
correct_sentence: His pronunciation of English was pretty good.
error: Engliah
correction: English
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'English', so the word 〈Engliah〉 is a misspelling of 『English』; 〈Engliah〉 needs to be changed to 『English』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: His method of teaching was nothing like that of teachers in my Junior High school.
correct_sentence: His method of teaching was nothing like that of teachers in my Junior High School.
error: school
correction: School
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, 〈school〉 in the proper noun 〈Junior High school〉 needs to be capitalized as 『School』 to comply with the rules for writing proper nouns.

error_sentence: And I thought I could adapt this rapidly.

correct_sentence: And I thought I could adapt to this rapidly.

correction: to
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, when the verb 〈adapt〉 means 'to adjust to', it is an intransitive verb and needs to be followed by the preposition 〈to〉 before an object; the original phrase 〈adapt this〉 lacks a preposition, and 『to』 should be added to make the sentence grammatically correct and complete in meaning.

error_sentence: I'm looking forward to studing hard and having good days in the new term.
correct_sentence: I was looking forward to studying hard and having good days in the new term.
error: 'm
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the entire text uses the past tense for narration; the tense of the linking verb 〈'm〉 (i.e., am) in the original sentence is inconsistent with the context; when describing a past situation, the present tense 〈'm〉 should be changed to the past tense 『was』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: I'm looking forward to studing hard and having good days in the new term.
correct_sentence: I was looking forward to studying hard and having good days in the new term.
error: studing
correction: studying
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'studying', so the verb 〈studing〉 is a misspelling of 『studying』; 〈studing〉 needs to be changed to 『studying』 to make the sentence coherent.