Writing prompt: An Unforgettable Thing during Winter Holiday

Student essay:
I went to Hawaii for holiday this winter vacation.It takes a long time to get there by plane and I had nothing to do during the 8 hours on plane.Suddenly,I remembered that I had downloaded a book to my iPad.I took it out and began to read.While I was reading,I found that the man on my left was getting closer and closer to me.I didn't say a word at first.But a few minutes later,it was more than I could bear.I said angrily to him,"hey,what are you doing?Please don't sit so close to me."He looked very sad,and he said,"sorry,but your book is so interesting,I just want to read it.You know,I was so boring."

Corrected essay:
I went to Hawaii for a holiday this winter vacation. It took a long time to get there by plane and I had nothing to do during the 8 hours on the plane. Suddenly, I remembered that I had downloaded a book to my iPad. I took it out and began to read. While I was reading, I found that the man on my left was getting closer and closer to me. I didn't say a word at first. But a few minutes later, it was more than I could bear. I said angrily to him, "Hey, what are you doing? Please don't sit so close to me." He looked very sad, and he said, "Sorry, but your book is so interesting. I just wanted to read it. You know, I was so bored."

Error analysis:
error_sentence: I went to Hawaii for holiday this winter vacation.
correct_sentence: I went to Hawaii for a holiday this winter vacation.
correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: The countable noun 〈holiday〉 needs to be modified by the indefinite article 『a』 to express a singular concept, so 『a』 is added before 〈holiday〉 to conform to English expression habits.

error_sentence: It takes a long time to get there by plane and I had nothing to do during the 8 hours on plane.
correct_sentence: It took a long time to get there by plane and I had nothing to do during the 8 hours on the plane.
error: takes
correction: took
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: This part describes a past event, so the verb should be in the past tense; therefore, 〈takes〉 is changed to 『took』 to match the contextual tense.

error_sentence: It takes a long time to get there by plane and I had nothing to do during the 8 hours on plane.
correct_sentence: It took a long time to get there by plane and I had nothing to do during the 8 hours on the plane.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: The determiner 『the』 is needed before 〈plane〉 to specify a particular plane rather than a general one, so 『the』 is added before 〈plane〉 to comply with grammatical rules.

error_sentence: I said angrily to him,"hey,what are you doing?Please don't sit so close to me.
correct_sentence: I said angrily to him, "Hey, what are you doing?
error: him,"hey
correction: him, "Hey
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Space Error: A space is needed before the quotation mark, so a space is added after 〈him,〉 to conform to English punctuation standards; ② Case Error: The first letter of the quoted word 〈hey〉 should be capitalized, so 〈hey〉 is changed to 『Hey』 to conform to writing conventions.

error_sentence: I said angrily to him,"hey,what are you doing?Please don't sit so close to me.
correct_sentence: I said angrily to him, "Hey, what are you doing? Please don't sit so close to me."
error: doing?Please
correction: doing? Please
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: English end-of-sentence punctuation requires a space before starting a new sentence, so 〈doing?Please〉 is changed to 『doing? Please』 to conform to writing conventions.

error_sentence: "He looked very sad,and he said,"sorry,but your book is so interesting,I just want to read it.
correct_sentence: Please don't sit so close to me." He looked very sad, and he said, "Sorry, but your book is so interesting.
error: "He
correction: " He
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: A space is needed after the closing quotation mark before starting a new sentence, so 〈"He〉 is changed to 『" He』 to conform to writing conventions.

error_sentence: "He looked very sad,and he said,"sorry,but your book is so interesting,I just want to read it.
correct_sentence: He looked very sad, and he said, "Sorry, but your book is so interesting.
error: said,"sorry
correction: said, "Sorry
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Space Error: A space is needed before the quotation mark, so a space is added after 〈said,〉 to conform to English punctuation standards; ② Case Error: The first letter of the quoted word 〈sorry〉 should be capitalized, so 〈sorry〉 is changed to 『Sorry』 to conform to writing conventions.

error_sentence: "He looked very sad,and he said,"sorry,but your book is so interesting,I just want to read it.
correct_sentence: He looked very sad, and he said, "Sorry, but your book is so interesting.
error: ,
correction: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: 〈"He looked very sad,and he said,"sorry,but your book is so interesting〉 and 〈I just want to read it〉 contain independent subject-verb structures and can be independent sentences, so 〈,〉 is changed to 『.』.

error_sentence: "He looked very sad,and he said,"sorry,but your book is so interesting,I just want to read it.
correct_sentence: I just wanted to read it.
error: want
correction: wanted
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: This part describes a past event, so the verb should be in the past tense; therefore, 〈want〉 is changed to 『wanted』 to match the contextual tense.

error_sentence: You know,I was so boring."
correct_sentence: You know, I was so bored."
error: boring
correction: bored
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: 〈boring〉 means 'causing boredom', but the sentence expresses a person's feeling, so 〈boring〉 is changed to 『bored』 to comply with grammatical rules.