Writing prompt: Should High School Students Get Online Frequently?

Student essay:
Recently I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it.Some student agreed getting online frequently.They thought that
getting online could learn so much ,broaden one's horizons as well as chat and share with others.And they said it was relaxed for people to get online.
But some students were against to get online frequently.They thought that it was bad for our eyes.And it took too much time and energetic to fall in chatting and playing computer games.
In my opinion we should spend correct time on getting online.And we shouldn't depend too much on computer.

Corrected essay:
Recently, I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it. Some students agreed with getting online frequently. They thought that getting online could learn so much, broaden one's horizons as well as chat and share with others. And they said it was relaxing for people to get online.
But some students were against getting online frequently. They thought that it was bad for our eyes. And it took too much time and energy to fall into chatting and playing computer games.
In my opinion, we should spend proper time on getting online. And we shouldn't depend too much on computers.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Recently I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it.
correct_sentence: Recently, I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, a comma is needed after the sentence-initial adverbial 〈Recently〉 to separate it from the main clause 〈I've carried out...〉, so adding 『,』 conforms to English punctuation norms.

error_sentence: Some student agreed getting online frequently.
correct_sentence: Some students agreed with getting online frequently.
error: student agreed
correction: students agreed with
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: Judging from the sentence meaning, 〈student〉 here is modified by 〈some〉, expressing a plural concept, and should be in the plural form, so the singular form 〈student〉 is changed to the plural form 『students』 to match the sentence meaning; ② Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, the verb 〈agreed〉 requires the preposition 『with』 when followed by an opinion, forming the fixed phrase 『agreed with』.

error_sentence: They thought that
getting online could learn so much ,broaden one's horizons as well as chat and share with others.
correct_sentence: They thought that getting online could learn so much, broaden one's horizons as well as chat and share with others.
error: 

error_type: Format Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Format Error: A newline character was incorrectly used between 〈They thought that〉 and 〈getting online could learn so much〉 in the original sentence, causing a break in sentence structure; deleting 〈 〉 maintains sentence coherence.

error_sentence: And they said it was relaxed for people to get online.

correct_sentence: And they said it was relaxing for people to get online.

error: relaxed
correction: relaxing
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adjective Error: In the original sentence 〈And they said it was relaxed for people to get online.〉, 〈relaxed〉 was misused to describe the attribute of something; it should be changed to 『relaxing』 to modify the action 〈get online〉, expressing a relaxing nature.

error_sentence: But some students were against to get online frequently.
correct_sentence: But some students were against getting online frequently.
error: to get
correction: getting
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, the preposition 〈against〉 should be followed by a gerund form, so the infinitive 〈to get〉 is changed to the gerund form 『getting』.

error_sentence: And it took too much time and energetic to fall in chatting and playing computer games.

correct_sentence: And it took too much time and energy to fall into chatting and playing computer games.

error: energetic
correction: energy
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: In the original sentence 〈it took too much time and energetic〉, the adjective 〈energetic〉 was misused as an object; it should be changed to the noun form 『energy』 to correctly express the sentence meaning.

error_sentence: And it took too much time and energetic to fall in chatting and playing computer games.

correct_sentence: And it took too much time and energy to fall into chatting and playing computer games.

error: in
correction: into
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, the fixed phrase 『fall into』 is used to express "falling into a certain state", so the preposition 〈in〉 is changed to 『into』.

error_sentence: In my opinion we should spend correct time on getting online.
correct_sentence: In my opinion, we should spend proper time on getting online.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, a comma is needed after the parenthetical phrase 〈In my opinion〉 to separate it from the main clause 〈we should spend...〉, so 『,』 is added after 〈In my opinion〉.

error_sentence: In my opinion we should spend correct time on getting online.
correct_sentence: In my opinion, we should spend proper time on getting online.
error: correct
correction: proper
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adjective Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to express "appropriate"; the original sentence's use of 〈correct〉 does not meet the semantic requirement and should be changed to 『proper』 to accurately express the sentence meaning.

error_sentence: And we shouldn't depend too much on computer.
correct_sentence: And we shouldn't depend too much on computers.
error: computer
correction: computers
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: Judging from the sentence meaning, the intention here is to refer to the category generically, so the plural form should be used; therefore, the singular form 〈computer〉 is changed to the plural form 『computers』 to be consistent with the sentence meaning, indicating a general reference to all computers.