Writing prompt: A Trip to Mount Yunmen

Student essay:
Last week my parents with me went to Mount Yunmen. Mount Yunmen is in Qingzhou City Shandong Province. We arrived early morning when it was sunny I looked at the sky that it was very blue,and the air was very fresh. The sun rose behind me and it shone on the rocks. There were many kinds of trees and birds. I felt the many trees look like giant, because the trees were very tall and big. I thaught that the birds were nature's singers,because the birds' voice sounded like that they were singing.
Mount Yunmen had a very big word and Mount Yunmen was famous for it. It was "Shou"word. It was about 7.5 metres high and it was about 3.7 metres wide. The "Shou"word was huge!
We in order to remain the scenery that we have a picnic and take a photo. I asked myself,"Is the Mount Yunmen the greatest wonder of the natural world?" I certainly know the answer. I think that Mount Yunmen is the greatest wonder of the natural world.

Corrected essay:
Last week, my parents and I went to Mount Yunmen. Mount Yunmen is in Qingzhou City, Shandong Province. We arrived early in the morning when it was sunny. I looked at the sky. It was very blue, and the air was very fresh. The sun rose behind me and it shone on the rocks. There were many kinds of trees and birds. I felt the many trees looked like giants, because the trees were very tall and big. I thought that the birds were nature's singers because the birds' voices sounded like they were singing.
Mount Yunmen had a very big word and Mount Yunmen was famous for it. It was the "Shou" word. It was about 7.5 metres high and about 3.7 metres wide. The "Shou" word was huge!
In order to remember the scenery, we had a picnic and took a photo. I asked myself, "Is Mount Yunmen the greatest wonder of the natural world?" I certainly knew the answer. I think that Mount Yunmen is the greatest wonder of the natural world.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Last week my parents with me went to Mount Yunmen.
correct_sentence: Last week, my parents and I went to Mount Yunmen.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English time adverbial writing conventions, a comma is needed after the sentence-initial time adverbial 〈Last week〉 to separate it from the main clause, so a comma is added before 『my』 to form the standard structure 『Last week,』.

error_sentence: Last week my parents with me went to Mount Yunmen.
correct_sentence: Last week, my parents and I went to Mount Yunmen.
error: with me
correction: and I
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: According to English rules for parallel subject structures, when connecting two subjects, a coordinating conjunction 『and』 should be used instead of a prepositional phrase, so 〈with me〉 is changed to 『and I』 to form a grammatically correct parallel subject structure; ② Pronoun Error: According to English rules for subjective case usage, the objective pronoun in the prepositional phrase 〈with me〉 does not meet the grammatical requirements for a subject; it should be changed to the subjective pronoun 『I』 and connected with 『and』, forming the correct subject structure 『my friend and I』.

error_sentence: Mount Yunmen is in Qingzhou City Shandong Province.
correct_sentence: Mount Yunmen is in Qingzhou City, Shandong Province.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English geographical name writing conventions, a comma is needed to separate the city name 〈Qingzhou City〉 and the province name 〈Shandong Province〉, so a comma is added to form the standard writing 『Qingzhou City, Shandong Province』.

error_sentence: We arrived early morning when it was sunny I looked at the sky that it was very blue,and the air was very fresh.
correct_sentence: We arrived early in the morning when it was sunny.
correction: in the
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Preposition Error: According to the fixed English expression for time, the phrase 『early in the morning』 must use the preposition 〈in〉, so ensure the correct use of this preposition; ② Determiner Error: According to English rules for specific time expressions, 〈morning〉 needs to be preceded by the definite article 〈the〉 to indicate a specific period, thus it is supplemented as 『the morning』.

error_sentence: We arrived early morning when it was sunny I looked at the sky that it was very blue,and the air was very fresh.
correct_sentence: We arrived early in the morning when it was sunny.
correction: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English compound sentence punctuation rules, a necessary connection is missing between two independent clauses; a period is added to split them into two complete sentences: 『We arrived...』 and 『. I looked...』.

error_sentence: We arrived early morning when it was sunny I looked at the sky that it was very blue,and the air was very fresh.
correct_sentence: I looked at the sky. It was very blue, and the air was very fresh.
error: that it
correction: . It
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Relative Word Error: According to English sentence cohesion conventions, 〈that it〉 presents an improper connection issue and should be changed to an independent sentence separated by a period, 『. It』, to ensure semantic coherence; ② Case Error: According to English rules for capitalization at the beginning of a sentence, the lowercase initial word 〈it〉 is changed to uppercase 『It』 to comply with writing conventions.

error_sentence: I felt the many trees look like giant, because the trees were very tall and big.
correct_sentence: I felt the many trees looked like giants, because the trees were very tall and big.
error: look like giant
correction: looked like giants
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to the principle of tense consistency in English, when the main clause verb 〈felt〉 is in the past tense, the verb in the object clause needs to maintain tense consistency, so the present tense 〈look〉 is changed to the past tense 『looked』, forming the correct structure 『the trees looked like...』; ② Noun Number Error: According to the principle of noun number agreement in English, when 〈giant〉 as a countable noun modifies the plural noun 〈trees〉, the plural form 『giants』 should be used, forming the appropriate combination 『like giants』.

error_sentence: I thaught that the birds were nature's singers,because the birds' voice sounded like that they were singing.

correct_sentence: I thought that the birds were nature's singers because the birds' voices sounded like they were singing.

error: thaught
correction: thought
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English word spelling conventions, the verb 〈thaught〉 is a misspelling of 〈thought〉 and should be corrected to the proper spelling 『thought』 to accurately express the meaning of 'thought'.

error_sentence: I thaught that the birds were nature's singers,because the birds' voice sounded like that they were singing.

correct_sentence: I thought that the birds were nature's singers because the birds' voices sounded like they were singing.

error: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English punctuation rules for adverbial clauses of reason, when a clause introduced by 〈because〉 is closely related to the main clause, no comma is needed for separation, so the redundant comma before 『because』 is deleted to make the sentence structure more concise.

error_sentence: I thaught that the birds were nature's singers,because the birds' voice sounded like that they were singing.

correct_sentence: I thought that the birds were nature's singers because the birds' voices sounded like they were singing.

error: voice
correction: voices
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to the English principle of possessive noun agreement, the noun modified by the plural possessive 〈birds'〉 needs to maintain number agreement, so the singular noun 〈voice〉 is changed to the plural form 『voices』, forming the correct expression 『birds' voices』.

error_sentence: I thaught that the birds were nature's singers,because the birds' voice sounded like that they were singing.

correct_sentence: I thought that the birds were nature's singers because the birds' voices sounded like they were singing.

error: that
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Relative Word Error: According to English usage rules for verbs of perception, when 〈sounded like〉 is followed by an object clause, the conjunction 〈that〉 is not needed; directly using 『they were singing』 as the object component is more in line with idiomatic expression.

error_sentence: It was "Shou"word.
correct_sentence: It was the "Shou" word.
error: "Shou"word
correction: the "Shou" word
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Determiner Error: According to English rules for specific reference with proper expressions, the specific expression 〈"Shou" word〉 requires the addition of the definite article 『the』 for specific reference, thus it is changed to 『the "Shou" word』; ② Space Error: According to English quotation mark usage conventions, a space needs to be kept between quotation marks and adjacent words, so the run-on 『"Shou"word』 is changed to the standard format 『"Shou" word』.

error_sentence: It was about 7.5 metres high and it was about 3.7 metres wide.
correct_sentence: It was about 7.5 metres high and about 3.7 metres wide.
error: it was
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to the English principle of conciseness in parallel structures, the repeated subject 〈it was〉 causes expressive redundancy; deleting the second 『it was』 simplifies it to 『and full of joy』, making the sentence more concise and fluent.

error_sentence: The "Shou"word was huge!

correct_sentence: The "Shou" word was huge!

error: Shou"word
correction: Shou" word
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English quotation mark usage conventions, a space needs to be kept between quotation marks and adjacent words, so the run-on 『"Shou"word』 is changed to the standard format 『"Shou" word』.

error_sentence: We in order to remain the scenery that we have a picnic and take a photo.
correct_sentence: In order to remember the scenery, we had a picnic and took a photo.
error: We in
correction: In
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: According to English sentence structure rules, the original sentence 〈We in order to...〉 has a redundant subject pronoun issue; the repeated subject 〈We〉 should be deleted, and it should be changed to 『In order to』 to introduce an adverbial of purpose, forming a correct sentence structure; ② Case Error: According to English expression conventions, the first word of a sentence should be capitalized, so 〈in〉 is modified to the preposition 『In』 to comply with grammatical norms.

error_sentence: We in order to remain the scenery that we have a picnic and take a photo.
correct_sentence: In order to remember the scenery, we had a picnic and took a photo.
error: remain
correction: remember
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the principle of semantic accuracy, 〈remain〉 means 'to stay', which does not fit the context; the verb 『remember』, meaning 'to commemorate', should be used instead, forming the correct collocation 『remember the scenery』.

error_sentence: We in order to remain the scenery that we have a picnic and take a photo.
correct_sentence: In order to remember the scenery, we had a picnic and took a photo.
error: that we have
correction: , we had
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: According to English rules for connecting adverbial clauses, 〈that〉 cannot connect an adverbial of purpose and the main clause; a comma should be used for separation, forming the standard structure 『In order to remember the scenery, we...』; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the principle of tense consistency with the context, describing past events requires the past tense, so the present tense 〈have〉 is changed to the past tense 『had』, forming the correct tense in 『we had a picnic』.

error_sentence: We in order to remain the scenery that we have a picnic and take a photo.
correct_sentence: In order to remember the scenery, we had a picnic and took a photo.
error: take
correction: took
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English rules for tense consistency in parallel predicates, the second verb 〈take〉 needs to be consistent in tense with the first verb 〈had〉 and is changed to the past tense 『took』, forming the parallel structure 『had a picnic and took a photo.』.

error_sentence: I asked myself,"Is the Mount Yunmen the greatest wonder of the natural world?"
correct_sentence: I asked myself, "Is Mount Yunmen the greatest wonder of the natural world?"
error: myself,"Is the
correction: myself, "Is
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Space Error: According to English direct quotation writing conventions, a space needs to be kept between the comma after the introductory phrase and the quotation mark, so the run-on 『,"Is』 is changed to the standard format 『, "Is』; ② Determiner Error: According to English rules for the use of proper nouns, the mountain name 〈Mount Yunmen〉 as a proper noun does not require a definite article before it; the redundant 『the』 is deleted, and 『Mount Yunmen』 is used directly.

error_sentence: I certainly know the answer.
correct_sentence: I certainly knew the answer.
error: know
correction: knew
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the principle of tense consistency with the context, when the main clause describes a past event, the verb 〈know〉 in the subordinate clause should be changed to the past tense 『knew』, forming the correct tense structure 『I knew it was...』.