Writing prompt: My Best Friend

Student essay:
Hello everyone my name is D. Today let me tell you something about my best friend.
My best friend is an enthusiastic boy,his name's Tony. He is sixteen years old. And he's not tall but he is a very smart person. We have too much resemblance,but we also have some differences,just like he is interested in too many other things. For example,he likes playing football,listening music and playing computer games and so on. In the school,he really is a good student,he studies hard,he is also modest to everyone. And he is always helping the other people. Remember before,he had patience to help me improve my English. I really appreciate him. So everyone in the school like he very much,he is very popular.
This is my best friend Tony,what do you think of him? Do you like he? I think you like him like me. So how's your best friend?

Corrected essay:
Hello everyone, my name is D. Today let me tell you something about my best friend.
My best friend is an enthusiastic boy, and his name's Tony. He is sixteen years old. And he's not tall but he is a very smart person. We have too much resemblance, but we also have some differences, just like he is interested in too many other things. For example, he likes playing football, listening to music and playing computer games and so on. In the school, he really is a good student. He studies hard, and he is also modest to everyone. And he is always helping other people. Remember before, he had patience to help me improve my English. I really appreciate him. So everyone in the school likes him very much, and he is very popular.
This is my best friend Tony. What do you think of him? Do you like him? I think you like him like me. So how's your best friend?

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Hello everyone my name is D. Today let me tell you something about my best friend.

correct_sentence: Hello everyone, my name is D. Today let me tell you something about my best friend.

correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, the opening salutation 〈Hello everyone〉 is missing the necessary comma 『,』 to separate it from the main clause; adding a comma makes the sentence conform better to English writing standards, thus 『,』 should be added after 〈Hello everyone〉.

error_sentence: My best friend is an enthusiastic boy,his name's Tony.
correct_sentence: My best friend is an enthusiastic boy, and his name's Tony.
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, a conjunction is missing between the two independent clauses 〈My best friend is an enthusiastic boy〉 and 〈his name's Tony〉; separating them with only a comma is a comma splice error. Adding 『and』 correctly connects the two clauses, making the sentence structure grammatically correct.

error_sentence: For example,he likes playing football,listening music and playing computer games and so on.
correct_sentence: For example, he likes playing football, listening to music and playing computer games and so on.
correction: to
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, the verb 〈listening〉 is missing the necessary preposition 〈to〉 to introduce the object 〈music〉; therefore, 『to』 needs to be added after 〈listening〉 to complete the structure and conform to English expression habits.

error_sentence: In the school,he really is a good student,he studies hard,he is also modest to everyone.
correct_sentence: In the school, he really is a good student. He studies hard, and he is also modest to everyone.
error: ,he
correction: . He
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, using a comma to join the independent clauses 〈he really is a good student〉 and 〈he studies hard〉 is a punctuation error; it should be a period to separate independent sentences, so the comma in 〈,he〉 should be changed to 『. He』. ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of a sentence must be capitalized; after correcting the punctuation, 〈he〉 is at the beginning of a sentence and should be changed to 『He』 to conform to capitalization rules.

error_sentence: In the school,he really is a good student,he studies hard,he is also modest to everyone.
correct_sentence: He studies hard, and he is also modest to everyone.
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, a conjunction is missing between the two parallel clauses 〈He studies hard〉 and 〈he is also modest to everyone〉 in the sentence; separating them with only a comma is not standard. Adding 『and』 to connect the two parallel parts ensures coherence, so 『and』 needs to be added before 〈he〉.

error_sentence: And he is always helping the other people.
correct_sentence: And he is always helping other people.
error: the
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy: According to English expression habits, the definite article 〈the〉 is not needed when referring to 〈other people〉 in a general sense; 〈the〉 in the original sentence is redundant and should be deleted to make the expression more concise and accurate.

error_sentence: So everyone in the school like he very much,he is very popular.

correct_sentence: So everyone in the school likes him very much, and he is very popular.

error: like he
correction: likes him
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Subject-Verb Agreement Error: According to English grammar rules, the subject 〈everyone〉 is singular, so the verb 〈like〉 needs to be in the third-person singular form 『likes』. ② Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, the verb 〈likes〉 requires an object pronoun as its object; 〈he〉 is a subject pronoun, which is incorrect, and should be changed to the object pronoun 『him』.

error_sentence: So everyone in the school like he very much,he is very popular.

correct_sentence: So everyone in the school likes him very much, and he is very popular.

correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, a conjunction is missing between the coordinate clauses 〈likes him very much〉 and 〈he is very popular〉; connecting them directly with a comma is a comma splice error. Adding 『and』 correctly connects the two coordinate clauses, making the sentence structure grammatically correct.

error_sentence: This is my best friend Tony,what do you think of him?
correct_sentence: This is my best friend Tony. What do you think of him?
error: ,what
correction: . What
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, the two independent sentences 〈This is my best friend Tony〉 and 〈what do you think of him〉 are incorrectly joined by a comma at 〈,what〉. The comma should be changed to a period 『.』, and the first letter of the following sentence should be capitalized, changing 〈,what〉 to 『. What』 to conform to standards. ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of a sentence must be capitalized; after correcting the punctuation, 〈what〉 is at the beginning of a sentence and should be changed to 『What』 to conform to capitalization rules.

error_sentence: Do you like he?
correct_sentence: Do you like him?
error: he
correction: him
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, the object of the verb 〈like〉 must be an object pronoun; the subject pronoun 〈he〉 in the original sentence is incorrect and should be changed to the object pronoun 『him』 to comply with grammatical rules.