Writing prompt: The Advantages and Disadvantages of Private Cars

Student essay:
With the development of the industry and economy. More and more people own a car. The persent of people who own a car is on the rise.
Owning a car can make us work more efficiently and also make our life become more convenient. With a car there is no need to wait for the bus in the cold or under the burning sun.
However, every coin has two sides. More cars mean more pollution. As the number of cars increases, air quality becomes bad and even influences our health . It also makes some other questions like traffic jams .
In conclusion, though cars can make our life convenient , for the environment and our health,we should not encourage person to take cars. Instead,we should encourage person to take public transportation to make our environment better and better.

Corrected essay:
With the development of the industry and economy, more and more people own a car. The percentage of people who own a car is on the rise.
Owning a car can make us work more efficiently and also make our life become more convenient. With a car, there is no need to wait for the bus in the cold or under the burning sun.
However, every coin has two sides. More cars mean more pollution. As the number of cars increases, air quality becomes bad and even influences our health. It also causes some other problems like traffic jams.
In conclusion, though cars can make our life convenient, for the environment and our health, we should not encourage people to take cars. Instead, we should encourage people to take public transportation to make our environment better and better.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: With the development of the industry and economy. More and more people own a car.
correct_sentence: With the development of the industry and economy, more and more people own a car.
error: . More
correction: , more
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, when the prepositional phrase 〈With...economy〉 acts as an adverbial, it cannot stand alone as a sentence; the period at the end of the sentence needs to be changed to 『, more』 to connect to the main clause, forming a complex sentence structure; ② Case Error: When an initial adverbial clause is demoted to a subordinate part of a complex sentence, the first letter should be lowercase; therefore, 『More』 needs to be changed to the lowercase form 『more』 to comply with English writing conventions.

error_sentence: The persent of people who own a car is on the rise.

correct_sentence: The percentage of people who own a car is on the rise.

error: persent
correction: percentage
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: 〈persent〉 does not conform to standard English spelling; the correct spelling should be 『percentage』, meaning "percentage", a word derived from the Latin per centum, which is fixed in English to denote a proportional concept.

error_sentence: With a car there is no need to wait for the bus in the cold or under the burning sun.

correct_sentence: With a car, there is no need to wait for the bus in the cold or under the burning sun.

correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English punctuation usage rules, when the initial prepositional phrase 〈With a car〉 acts as an adverbial, it must be separated from the main clause by a comma, to comply with English punctuation rules 『With a car,』.

error_sentence: It also makes some other questions like traffic jams .

correct_sentence: It also causes some other problems like traffic jams.

error: makes
correction: causes
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the usage rules for fixed verb collocations, the pairing of 〈makes〉 with 〈questions〉 does not conform to idiomatic English expression; based on the sentence meaning "cause problems", the fixed phrase 『causes some other problems』 should be used, where 『causes』 emphasizes "to bring about".

error_sentence: It also makes some other questions like traffic jams .

correct_sentence: It also causes some other problems like traffic jams.

error: questions
correction: problems
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: According to noun usage rules, 〈questions〉 refers to "inquiries/queries", whereas the context needs to express "difficulties or troubles"; therefore, it should be replaced with 『problems』 to accurately convey the meaning of "negative impact".

error_sentence: In conclusion, though cars can make our life convenient , for the environment and our health,we should not encourage person to take cars.
correct_sentence: In conclusion, though cars can make our life convenient, for the environment and our health, we should not encourage people to take cars.
error: person
correction: people
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to noun usage rules, 〈person〉 is singular, but the context implies a general reference to "people"; it needs to be changed to the plural form 『people』 to ensure consistency with the implied plural logic.

error_sentence: Instead,we should encourage person to take public transportation to make our environment better and better.
correct_sentence: Instead, we should encourage people to take public transportation to make our environment better and better.
error: person
correction: people
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to noun usage rules, 〈person〉 is singular, but the context implies a general reference to "people"; it needs to be changed to the plural form 『people』 to ensure consistency with the implied plural logic.