Writing prompt: Lixia's Vacation

Student essay:
Lixia is an eleven-year-old girl from China. She likes traveling because she thinks it's enjoyable. She went somewhere famous just like Beijing and London,the trips were both interesting,but there are also some differences between them. Last year,Lixia arrived in London by plane. The weather there was really wet because it was often rainy,and that's the reason why people there always go out with an umbrella. Lixia visited many museums such as the British museum,and she saw something special and took quite a few photos there. She also had some special meals in London,but she thought they were not so delicious. This year,Lixia took a train to Beijing. It was so cold there that Lixia caught a little cold. She went to the Great Wall,the palace museum and Tian'anmen square in excitement. There were lots of visitors from all around the world. She had some special food in Beijing and they tasted pretty good. Lixia had fun visiting London and Beijing.She enjoyed herself by traveling.

Corrected essay:
Lixia is an eleven-year-old girl from China. She likes traveling because she thinks it's enjoyable. She went somewhere famous like Beijing and London. The trips were both interesting, but there were also some differences between them. Last year, Lixia arrived in London by plane. The weather there was really wet because it was often rainy, and that's the reason why people there always go out with an umbrella. Lixia visited many museums such as the British Museum, and she saw something special and took quite a few photos there. She also had some special meals in London, but she thought they were not so delicious. This year, Lixia took a train to Beijing. It was so cold there that Lixia caught a slight cold. She went to the Great Wall, the Palace Museum and Tian'anmen Square in excitement. There were lots of visitors from all around the world. She had some special food in Beijing and it tasted pretty good. Lixia had fun visiting London and Beijing. She enjoyed herself by traveling.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: She went somewhere famous just like Beijing and London,the trips were both interesting,but there are also some differences between them.
correct_sentence: She went somewhere famous like Beijing and London.
error: just
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy: According to English expression habits, 〈just〉 in the phrase 〈just like〉 is a redundant component; its removal does not affect the completeness or meaning of the sentence, so 〈just like〉 is modified to 『like』 to make the expression more concise and fluent.

error_sentence: She went somewhere famous just like Beijing and London,the trips were both interesting,but there are also some differences between them.
correct_sentence: She went somewhere famous like Beijing and London. The trips were both interesting, but there were also some differences between them.
error: ,the
correction: . The
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses 〈She went...London〉 and 〈the trips...〉 should be separated by a period, not a comma, so 〈,the〉 is modified to 『. The』; ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of a word starting after a period needs to be capitalized, so 〈the〉 is modified to 『The』 to comply with the convention.

error_sentence: She went somewhere famous just like Beijing and London,the trips were both interesting,but there are also some differences between them.
correct_sentence: The trips were both interesting, but there were also some differences between them.
error: are
correction: were
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, the past tense should be used when describing past events. The tense of 〈are〉 in the original sentence is inconsistent with the context of the sentence, so 〈are〉 is modified to 『were』 to maintain tense consistency.

error_sentence: Lixia visited many museums such as the British museum,and she saw something special and took quite a few photos there.
correct_sentence: Lixia visited many museums such as the British Museum, and she saw something special and took quite a few photos there.
error: museum
correction: Museum
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of proper nouns needs to be capitalized; 〈museum〉 in 〈British museum〉, as part of the institution name 'the British Museum', is a proper noun, so 〈museum〉 needs to be modified to 『Museum』 to comply with the convention.

error_sentence: It was so cold there that Lixia caught a little cold.
correct_sentence: It was so cold there that Lixia caught a slight cold.
error: little
correction: slight
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adjective Error: According to the sentence meaning, when describing the severity of a cold, 〈little〉 in 〈a little cold〉 indicates a small quantity, which is not precise enough to express a mild degree in this context. Whereas 〈slight〉 means 'mild' and forms the fixed phrase 〈catch a slight cold〉 (to catch a mild cold), so 〈little〉 is modified to 『slight』 to accurately express the degree of the illness.

error_sentence: She went to the Great Wall,the palace museum and Tian'anmen square in excitement.
correct_sentence: She went to the Great Wall, the Palace Museum and Tian'anmen Square in excitement.
error: palace museum
correction: Palace Museum
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, when a proper noun is a specific scenic spot name, its initial letters should be capitalized. In the original sentence, 〈palace museum〉 as the name of the specific scenic spot 'the Palace Museum', needs its initial letters capitalized, thus 〈palace museum〉 is modified to 『Palace Museum』 to comply with the convention.

error_sentence: She went to the Great Wall,the palace museum and Tian'anmen square in excitement.
correct_sentence: She went to the Great Wall, the Palace Museum and Tian'anmen Square in excitement.
error: square
correction: Square
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of each main word in a proper noun needs to be capitalized; 〈square〉 in the place name 〈Tian'anmen square〉, as part of a proper noun, needs its first letter capitalized, so 〈square〉 is modified to 『Square』 to comply with the convention.

error_sentence: She had some special food in Beijing and they tasted pretty good.
correct_sentence: She had some special food in Beijing and it tasted pretty good.
error: they
correction: it
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: The preceding 〈food〉 is an uncountable noun and should be referred to by the singular pronoun 『it』, not the plural pronoun 〈they〉. Therefore, 〈they〉 is modified to 『it』 to maintain number agreement with 〈food〉.