Writing prompt: Care About the Environment

Student essay:
Dear editor,
Environmental problems are becoming more and more serious all over the world.
First the population of the world is raising so rapidly that it causes food shortage. In order to solve this problem, people have to overdevelop the plough. Too many trees are also cut down. Besides, because of the waste of people's daily using water, water resource is deficient now.And the air is polluted heavily.
I suggest that take strategy sustainable development.It's a good idea to use more alternative energy and follow the " reduce, reuse, recycle" principle.
I hope we will live in a fine condition in the future. Protecting environment is our duty.

Corrected essay:
Dear editor,
Environmental problems are becoming more and more serious all over the world.
First, the population of the world is rising so rapidly that it causes food shortage. In order to solve this problem, people have to overdevelop the plough. Too many trees are also cut down. Besides, because of the waste of people's daily use of water, water resources are deficient now. And the air is polluted heavily.
I suggest that we take the strategy of sustainable development. It's a good idea to use more alternative energy and follow the "reduce, reuse, recycle" principle.
I hope we will live in a fine condition in the future. Protecting the environment is our duty.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: First the population of the world is raising so rapidly that it causes food shortage.
correct_sentence: First, the population of the world is rising so rapidly that it causes food shortage.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, when the adverb 〈First〉 at the beginning of a sentence introduces the sentence, a comma 『,』 is needed to separate it from the following components, making the sentence structure clear. The original sentence lacks a comma after 〈First〉, which does not conform to punctuation rules; therefore, a comma 『,』 should be added after 〈First〉 to comply with writing conventions.

error_sentence: First the population of the world is raising so rapidly that it causes food shortage.
correct_sentence: First, the population of the world is rising so rapidly that it causes food shortage.
error: raising
correction: rising
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈raise〉 is a transitive verb, meaning 'to lift; to bring up', and requires an object. In the original sentence, the subject 〈population〉 indicates natural growth, which requires an intransitive verb. 〈rise〉 is an intransitive verb, more suitable for describing the natural growth of population; 〈raising〉 should be changed to 『rising』 to ensure correct meaning.

error_sentence: Besides, because of the waste of people's daily using water, water resource is deficient now.
correct_sentence: Besides, because of the waste of people's daily use of water, water resources are deficient now.
error: using
correction: use of
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: According to English grammar rules, in the prepositional phrase 〈daily using water〉, a noun structure is needed as the head. In the original sentence, the gerund 〈using〉 is used improperly; it should be changed to the noun 『use』 and connected with 『of』 to form the correct expression 〈daily use of water〉.

error_sentence: Besides, because of the waste of people's daily using water, water resource is deficient now.
correct_sentence: Besides, because of the waste of people's daily use of water, water resources are deficient now.
error: resource is
correction: resources are
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: According to English grammar rules, 'water resource' as a countable noun should be in plural form when referring to multiple water resources. In the original sentence, 〈water resource〉 is singular, which does not fit the context; it should be changed to the plural form 『resources』; ② Subject-Verb Agreement Error: When the subject changes to the plural form 『resources』, according to the principle of subject-verb agreement, the accompanying be-verb should also be in plural form. In the original sentence, the verb 〈is〉 is singular; it should be changed to the plural form 『are』 to maintain subject-verb agreement.

error_sentence: I suggest that take strategy sustainable development.
correct_sentence: I suggest that we take the strategy of sustainable development.
error: take strategy
correction: we take the strategy of
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Sentence Structure Error: According to English grammar rules, when 'suggest that' introduces an object clause, the clause requires a subject. The original sentence's clause lacks a subject; 『we』 should be added to make the sentence structure complete; ② Determiner Error: 'strategy' is an abstract noun; when referring to the specific 'strategy of sustainable development', 〈strategy〉 requires 『the』 before it to specify the particular strategy. The original sentence omits it, not conforming to grammar rules; the definite article 『the』 needs to be added for specification; ③ Preposition Error: To clearly express 'the strategy of sustainable development', the preposition 『of』 is needed to connect 'strategy' and 'sustainable development'. The original sentence lacks this preposition, leading to an unclear semantic connection; the preposition 『of』 should be added after 〈strategy〉 to indicate the content of the strategy.

error_sentence: Protecting environment is our duty.
correct_sentence: Protecting the environment is our duty.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, when referring to a specific concept, a definite article is needed before the noun. In the original sentence, 〈environment〉 refers to the specific, globally concerned environment, which is a specific concept; the definite article 『the』 should be added to refer to the specific environment, ensuring semantic completeness and accuracy.