Writing prompt: To Kill or Not to Kill

Student essay:
Recently,many nations have been faced with the problem of whether death penalty is a must in our society or not ? In my viewpoints , I don't think it's an effective means of deterring crimes and it should be abolished .
There are many cruel means of capital punishment ,such as hanging ,shooting ,electrocution and lethal injection . A lot of people consider that killing criminals brings us rewards and they must have believed there were benefits in it for us . For instance, we are safer when a murderer is sentenced to death .
However,it is a tragic illusion that we can defend life by taking life .Everyone is born equal and has no rights to take away the other's life .therefore , the death penalty is the worst type of crime .
In addition, the men who are murderers mostly result from the outside nasty environment, such as financial problem , less education and lack of care of families . So , we should give them a chance to turn over a now leaf.
How can we settle this issue ? Firstly,the government should support the poor families .Secondly,the social organizations and families should show their love to each other .Thirdly,everyone should be tolerant to reconcile himself to others when he gets hurt by chance . With the efforts of all parts concerned , the death penalty will be abolish thoroughly and our life will be better.

Corrected essay:
Recently, many nations have been faced with the problem of whether the death penalty is a must in our society or not. In my viewpoint, I don't think it's an effective means of deterring crimes and it should be abolished.
There are many cruel means of capital punishment, such as hanging, shooting, electrocution and lethal injection. A lot of people consider that killing criminals brings us rewards and they must have believed there were benefits in it for us. For instance, we are safer when a murderer is sentenced to death.
However, it is a tragic illusion that we can defend life by taking life. Everyone is born equal and has no right to take away another's life. Therefore, the death penalty is the worst type of crime.
In addition, the men who are murderers mostly result from the outside nasty environment, such as financial problems, less education and lack of care from families. So, we should give them a chance to turn over a new leaf.
How can we settle this issue? Firstly, the government should support the poor families. Secondly, social organizations and families should show their love to each other. Thirdly, everyone should be tolerant and reconcile themselves to others when they get hurt by chance. With the efforts of all parts concerned, the death penalty will be abolished thoroughly and our life will be better.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Recently,many nations have been faced with the problem of whether death penalty is a must in our society or not ?
correct_sentence: Recently, many nations have been faced with the problem of whether the death penalty is a must in our society or not.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, the singular countable noun 〈death penalty〉 requires the article 『the』 before it for definite reference, so 『the』 is added to conform to grammatical rules.

error_sentence: Recently,many nations have been faced with the problem of whether death penalty is a must in our society or not ?
correct_sentence: Recently, many nations have been faced with the problem of whether the death penalty is a must in our society or not.
error: ?
correction: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, when an object clause introduced by the interrogative word 〈whether〉 is part of a declarative sentence, a period 『.』 should be used instead of a question mark 〈?〉.

error_sentence: In my viewpoints , I don't think it's an effective means of deterring crimes and it should be abolished .

correct_sentence: In my viewpoint, I don't think it's an effective means of deterring crimes and it should be abolished.

error: viewpoints
correction: viewpoint
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to English expression habits, in the fixed phrase 『in my viewpoint』, 『viewpoint』 is an uncountable abstract concept, so 〈viewpoints〉 needs to be changed to the singular form 〈viewpoint〉.

error_sentence: However,it is a tragic illusion that we can defend life by taking life .Everyone is born equal and has no rights to take away the other's life .therefore , the death penalty is the worst type of crime .

correct_sentence: However, it is a tragic illusion that we can defend life by taking life. Everyone is born equal and has no right to take away another's life.
error: .Everyone
correction: . Everyone
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space needs to be added between a period 〈.〉 and the subsequent sentence to form 『. Everyone』 to conform to writing conventions.

error_sentence: However,it is a tragic illusion that we can defend life by taking life .Everyone is born equal and has no rights to take away the other's life .therefore , the death penalty is the worst type of crime .

correct_sentence: Everyone is born equal and has no right to take away another's life.
error: rights
correction: right
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: The subject 〈Everyone〉 is a singular concept, so the singular noun 『right』 should be used instead of the plural form 〈rights〉.

error_sentence: However,it is a tragic illusion that we can defend life by taking life .Everyone is born equal and has no rights to take away the other's life .therefore , the death penalty is the worst type of crime .

correct_sentence: Everyone is born equal and has no right to take away another's life.
error: the other
correction: another
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to refer to another person's life in a general sense; the pronoun 〈the other〉 is not appropriate in this context and should be replaced with 『another』 to accurately convey the meaning.

error_sentence: However,it is a tragic illusion that we can defend life by taking life .Everyone is born equal and has no rights to take away the other's life .therefore , the death penalty is the worst type of crime .

correct_sentence: Everyone is born equal and has no right to take away another's life. Therefore, the death penalty is the worst type of crime.

error: .therefore
correction: . Therefore
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space should be inserted between a period and the following word; ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of a word at the beginning of a sentence needs to be capitalized, so 〈therefore〉 needs to be changed to 『Therefore』 to conform to conventions.

error_sentence: In addition, the men who are murderers mostly result from the outside nasty environment, such as financial problem , less education and lack of care of families .
correct_sentence: In addition, the men who are murderers mostly result from the outside nasty environment, such as financial problems, less education and lack of care from families.
error: problem
correction: problems
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to match the context of listing multiple problems mentioned earlier, so the plural form is needed; therefore, 〈problem〉 is changed to the plural form 『problems』.

error_sentence: In addition, the men who are murderers mostly result from the outside nasty environment, such as financial problem , less education and lack of care of families .
correct_sentence: In addition, the men who are murderers mostly result from the outside nasty environment, such as financial problems, less education and lack of care from families.
error: of
correction: from
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the intention here is to express a source relationship, and 『from』 can convey this meaning, so the preposition 〈of〉 is changed to 『from』.

error_sentence: So , we should give them a chance to turn over a now leaf.

correct_sentence: So, we should give them a chance to turn over a new leaf.

error: now
correction: new
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'new', so 〈now〉 is a misspelling of 『new』; 〈now〉 needs to be changed to 『new』 to make the sentence coherent.

error_sentence: Firstly,the government should support the poor families .Secondly,the social organizations and families should show their love to each other .Thirdly,everyone should be tolerant to reconcile himself to others when he gets hurt by chance .
correct_sentence: Firstly, the government should support the poor families. Secondly, social organizations and families should show their love to each other.
error: .Secondly,the
correction: . Secondly,
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space needs to be added between a period and the following word; ② Determiner Error: 〈social organizations〉 is in plural form and does not require an article before it, so the definite article 〈the〉 is deleted.

error_sentence: Firstly,the government should support the poor families .Secondly,the social organizations and families should show their love to each other .Thirdly,everyone should be tolerant to reconcile himself to others when he gets hurt by chance .
correct_sentence: Secondly, social organizations and families should show their love to each other. Thirdly, everyone should be tolerant and reconcile themselves to others when they get hurt by chance.
error: .Thirdly
correction: . Thirdly
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space needs to be added between a period and the following word, so a space is added after the period 〈.〉 to form 『. Thirdly』.

error_sentence: Firstly,the government should support the poor families .Secondly,the social organizations and families should show their love to each other .Thirdly,everyone should be tolerant to reconcile himself to others when he gets hurt by chance .
correct_sentence: Thirdly, everyone should be tolerant and reconcile themselves to others when they get hurt by chance.
error: to reconcile himself
correction: and reconcile themselves
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to express a parallel relationship, requiring the conjunction 『and』 instead of the infinitive marker 〈to〉; ② Pronoun Error: According to English expression habits, when the subject 〈everyone〉 is used in a gender-neutral context, the plural pronoun 『themselves』 should be used to maintain number agreement.

error_sentence: Firstly,the government should support the poor families .Secondly,the social organizations and families should show their love to each other .Thirdly,everyone should be tolerant to reconcile himself to others when he gets hurt by chance .
correct_sentence: Thirdly, everyone should be tolerant and reconcile themselves to others when they get hurt by chance.
error: he gets
correction: they get
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English expression habits, when the subject 〈everyone〉 is used in a general sense, the plural pronoun 『they』 should be used to maintain number agreement and avoid gender assumption, and based on the principle of subject-verb agreement, 〈he gets〉 needs to be changed to 『they get』.

error_sentence: With the efforts of all parts concerned , the death penalty will be abolish thoroughly and our life will be better.
correct_sentence: With the efforts of all parts concerned, the death penalty will be abolished thoroughly and our life will be better.
error: abolish
correction: abolished
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: Judging from the context, the future passive voice is required here, with the structure 'will be + past participle', so the base form of the verb 〈abolish〉 needs to be changed to the past participle 『abolished』.