Writing prompt: Assume you are Emily. Below is your family photo. Please introduce your family members based on the picture. Requirement: Write at least 6 sentences.

Student essay:
Hi ! I'm Emily. This is my family. He is my Dad, he works in hotel and he is handsome. Next she is my Mum. She is a gymnast, she is beautiful. Then this is my sister, she is a schoolchild. She likes danceing. Finally he is my borther. He likes sport. He will is a sportman.

Corrected essay:
Hi! I'm Emily. This is my family. He is my Dad. He works in a hotel and he is handsome. Next is my Mum. She is a gymnast. She is beautiful. Then this is my sister. She is a schoolchild. She likes dancing. Finally, this is my brother. He likes sports. He will be a sportsman.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: He is my Dad, he works in hotel and he is handsome.
correct_sentence: He is my Dad. He works in a hotel and he is handsome.
error: , he
correction: . He
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: Two independent clauses 〈He is my Dad〉 and 〈he works in hotel〉 need to be separated by a period, not a comma; therefore, 〈, he〉 is changed to 『. He』 to comply with English grammar rules.

error_sentence: He is my Dad, he works in hotel and he is handsome.
correct_sentence: He works in a hotel and he is handsome.
correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: The singular countable noun 〈hotel〉 lacks a determiner, making the expression incomplete; 『a』 needs to be added before 〈hotel〉 to comply with article usage rules, clarifying that the hotel is a singular noun.

error_sentence: Next she is my Mum.
correct_sentence: Next is my Mum.
error: she
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: The pronoun 〈she〉 is redundant in the sentence; the phrase indicating sequence 〈Next〉 should be directly followed by the subject 〈my Mum〉 without repeating the pronoun 〈she〉. Therefore, the redundant subject 〈she〉 is deleted to form the correct expression 『Next is my Mum』.

error_sentence: She is a gymnast, she is beautiful.
correct_sentence: She is a gymnast. She is beautiful.
error: , she
correction: . She
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: Two independent clauses 〈She is a gymnast〉 and 〈she is beautiful〉 need to be separated by a period, not a comma; therefore, 〈,〉 is changed to 『.』 to comply with English grammar rules; ② Case Error: According to English writing rules, the first letter of a sentence needs to be capitalized; therefore, 〈she〉 needs to be changed to 『She』 to start the independent sentence.

error_sentence: Then this is my sister, she is a schoolchild.
correct_sentence: Then this is my sister. She is a schoolchild.
error: , she
correction: . She
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: The two independent clauses 〈Then this is my sister〉 and 〈she is a schoolchild〉 have complete subject-verb-complement structures and need to be separated by a period, not a comma; therefore, 〈,〉 is changed to 『.』 to comply with English grammar rules; ② Case Error: According to English writing rules, the first letter of a sentence needs to be capitalized; therefore, 〈she〉 needs to be changed to 『She』 to start the independent sentence.

error_sentence: She likes danceing.
correct_sentence: She likes dancing.
error: danceing
correction: dancing
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence's meaning, the intention is to express 'dancing'; therefore, the gerund 〈danceing〉 is misspelled; the correct form is 『dancing』. Thus, 〈danceing〉 needs to be changed to 『dancing』 to comply with standard spelling.

error_sentence: Finally he is my borther.
correct_sentence: Finally, this is my brother.
error: he
correction: , this
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: In the sentence 〈Finally he is my borther.〉, a comma is missing to separate the introductory word and the main clause; therefore, a comma 『,』 needs to be added after 〈Finally〉 to improve readability; ② Pronoun Error: The pronoun 〈he〉 is used incorrectly; when introducing family members, the fixed pattern 〈this is...〉 should be used instead of just 〈he〉; therefore, 〈he〉 needs to be changed to 〈this〉 to conform to idiomatic English expression.

error_sentence: Finally he is my borther.
correct_sentence: Finally, this is my brother.
error: borther
correction: brother
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence's meaning, the intention is to express 'brother'; therefore, the noun 〈borther〉 is misspelled; it needs to be changed to 『brother』 to comply with standard spelling.

error_sentence: He likes sport.
correct_sentence: He likes sports.
error: sport
correction: sports
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: The noun 〈sport〉 should be in its plural form; 〈sport〉 requires the plural form when referring to sports in general, while the singular form refers to a specific sport; based on the context, it should refer to sports generally, so 〈sport〉 is changed to 『sports』 to fit the context.

error_sentence: He will is a sportman.
correct_sentence: He will be a sportsman.
error: is a sportman
correction: be a sportsman
error_type: Auxiliary Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Auxiliary Error: The simple future tense mainly uses the structure 'will + base form of the verb'; in the sentence, the auxiliary verb 〈will〉 indicates future tense and should be followed by the base form of the verb; 〈is〉 is inconsistent with the tense indicated, so it is changed to 『be』; ② Spelling Error: The occupational noun 〈sportsman〉 is misspelled; 〈sportman〉 needs to be changed to 『sportsman』 to comply with spelling rules.