Writing prompt: Assume you are Emily. Below is your family photo. Please introduce your family members based on the picture. Requirement: Write at least 6 sentences.

Student essay:
This is my family. My name is Mr. boyThis is my dad. He is teacher. His name is Mr. Dad. This is my mum. She is nurse. Her name is Mir. mum. This is my brother. He is my brother. His name is Mr. brother. This is my sister. Her na; e is Mir. sister

Corrected essay:
This is my family. My name is Emily. This is my dad. He is a teacher. His name is Dad. This is my mum. She is a nurse. Her name is Mum. This is my brother. He is my brother. His name is Brother. This is my sister. Her name is Sister.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: My name is Mr. boyThis is my dad.
correct_sentence: My name is Emily. This is my dad.
error: Mr. boyThis
correction: Emily. This
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Sentence Structure Error: According to English expression conventions, the original sentence 〈My name is Mr. boyThis is my dad.〉 has a confusing structure. Based on the prompt "Assume you are Emily", 〈Mr. boy〉 needs to be changed to 『Emily』 to correctly state the author's name and fit the semantic logic; ② Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, in the original sentence, 〈My name is Mr. boy〉 and 〈This is my dad〉 have complete subject-verb structures and can be independent sentences, therefore 〈Mr. boy〉 needs to be changed to 『Emily.』 to conform to English writing conventions.

error_sentence: He is teacher.
correct_sentence: He is a teacher.
correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, a countable noun representing a profession must be preceded by an indefinite article. The original sentence lacks the necessary determiner 『a』 before 〈teacher〉. Therefore, the sentence is modified to 『He is a teacher』 to comply with English grammar rules.

error_sentence: His name is Mr. Dad.
correct_sentence: His name is Dad.
error: Mr.
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression conventions, 〈Mr.〉 is not needed when addressing family members; using the name directly is more contextually appropriate and concise. The original sentence 〈Mr. Dad〉 contains word redundancy, so the redundant 〈Mr.〉 is deleted to make the sentence more natural and fluent.

error_sentence: She is nurse.
correct_sentence: She is a nurse.
correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, a countable noun representing a profession must be preceded by an indefinite article. The original sentence lacks the necessary determiner 『a』 before 〈nurse〉. Therefore, the sentence is modified to 『She is a nurse』 to comply with English grammar rules.

error_sentence: Her name is Mir. mum.
correct_sentence: Her name is Mum.
error: Mir. mum
correction: Mum
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression conventions, 〈Mir.〉 is not needed when addressing family members and 〈Mir.〉 is an incorrect title; using the name directly is more contextually appropriate and concise. The original sentence 〈Mir. mum〉 contains word redundancy, so the redundant 〈Mir.〉 is deleted to make the sentence more natural and fluent; ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of proper nouns needs to be capitalized. 〈mum〉 is a proper noun meaning "Mom", so 〈mum〉 needs to be changed to 『Mum』 to conform to the convention.

error_sentence: His name is Mr. brother.
correct_sentence: His name is Brother.
error: Mr. brother
correction: Brother
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression conventions, 〈Mr.〉 is not needed when addressing family members; using the name directly is more contextually appropriate and concise. The original sentence 〈Mr. brother〉 contains word redundancy, so the redundant 〈Mr.〉 is deleted to make the sentence more natural and fluent; ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of proper nouns needs to be capitalized. 〈brother〉 is a proper noun meaning "Brother", so 〈brother〉 needs to be changed to 『Brother』 to conform to the convention.

error_sentence: Her na; e is Mir. sister
correct_sentence: Her name is Sister.
error: na; e is Mir. sister
correction: name is Sister.
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Spelling Error: Based on the sentence meaning, the intention is to express "name", thus 〈na; e〉 is a misspelling of 『name』. 〈na; e〉 needs to be changed to 『name』 for the sentence to make sense; ② Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression conventions, 〈Mir.〉 is not needed when addressing family members and 〈Mir.〉 is an incorrect title; using the name directly is more contextually appropriate and concise. The original sentence 〈Mir. sister〉 contains word redundancy, so the redundant 〈Mir.〉 is deleted to make the sentence more natural and fluent; ③ Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of proper nouns needs to be capitalized. 〈sister〉 is a proper noun meaning "Sister", so 〈sister〉 needs to be changed to 『Sister』 to conform to the convention.