Writing prompt: Assume you are Emily. Below is your family photo. Please introduce your family members based on the picture. Requirement: Write at least 6 sentences.

Student essay:
Hello, my name is Emily. I am 13 years . The photo is my family. This is my father, He is a policeman, He is strong and tall. This is my mother, she is a teacher, she is beautiful. This is my brother , he is a student, he is hard-work. This is my sister. She is 5 years, she is cute. I like my family.

Corrected essay:
Hello, my name is Emily. I am 13 years old. The photo is of my family. This is my father. He is a policeman. He is strong and tall. This is my mother. She is a teacher. She is beautiful. This is my brother. He is a student. He is hard-working. This is my sister. She is 5 years old. She is cute. I like my family.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: I am 13 years .
correct_sentence: I am 13 years old.
correction: old
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adjective Error: In English, age is expressed using the fixed phrase 〈years old〉; therefore, add 『old』 after 〈years〉 to complete the expression of age.

error_sentence: The photo is my family.
correct_sentence: The photo is of my family.
correction: of
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: In English, when describing the content of a photo, the preposition 〈of〉 is needed to indicate possession; therefore, add 『of』 to form the correct expression “photo of my family”.

error_sentence: This is my father, He is a policeman, He is strong and tall.
correct_sentence: This is my father.
error: ,
correction: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: In English, independent clauses cannot be joined by a comma; “This is my father” and “He is a policeman” are two independent sentences. The comma in 〈father, He〉 needs to be changed to a period 『.』 to conform to grammatical rules.

error_sentence: This is my father, He is a policeman, He is strong and tall.
correct_sentence: He is a policeman.
error: ,
correction: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: In English, independent clauses cannot be joined by a comma. 〈He is a policeman〉 and 〈He is strong and tall〉 are two independent sentences; the comma in 〈policeman, He〉 needs to be changed to a period 『.』 to conform to grammatical rules.

error_sentence: This is my mother, she is a teacher, she is beautiful.
correct_sentence: This is my mother. She is a teacher.
error: , she
correction: . She
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: In English, independent clauses cannot be joined by a comma; 〈This is my mother〉 and 〈she is a teacher〉 are two independent sentences. 〈, she〉 needs to be changed to a period 『. She』 to conform to grammatical rules.

error_sentence: This is my mother, she is a teacher, she is beautiful.
correct_sentence: She is a teacher. She is beautiful.
error: , she
correction: . She
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: In English, independent clauses cannot be joined by a comma; 〈she is a teacher〉 and 〈she is beautiful〉 are two independent sentences. 〈, she〉 needs to be changed to a period 『. She』 to conform to grammatical rules.

error_sentence: This is my brother , he is a student, he is hard-work.
correct_sentence: This is my brother. He is a student.
error: , he
correction: . He
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: In English, independent clauses cannot be joined by a comma; the two independent sentences 〈This is my brother〉 and 〈he is a student〉 are joined by a comma. 〈 , he〉 should be changed to a period 『. He』.

error_sentence: This is my brother , he is a student, he is hard-work.
correct_sentence: He is a student. He is hard-working.
error: , he
correction: . He
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: In English, independent clauses cannot be joined by a comma; the two independent sentences 〈he is a student〉 and 〈he is hard-work〉 are joined by a comma. 〈 , he〉 should be changed to a period 『. He』.

error_sentence: This is my brother , he is a student, he is hard-work.
correct_sentence: He is hard-working.
error: work
correction: working
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: In English, 〈hard-work〉 is a noun, but an adjective is needed here as a predicative; therefore, it should be changed to 『hard-working』 to conform to grammatical rules, meaning “hard-working”.

error_sentence: She is 5 years, she is cute.
correct_sentence: She is 5 years old. She is cute.
error: , she
correction: old. She
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Adjective Error: In English, age is described using the phrase 『years old』; 〈5 years〉 needs to be changed to 『5 years old』 to conform to grammatical rules; ② Punctuation Error: According to the context, independent clauses cannot be separated by a comma; the sentences 〈She is 5 years old〉 and 〈She is cute〉 are two independent sentences and need to be separated by a period, so the comma is changed to 『.』.