Topic: anxiety

Question: How can I stop repetitive thoughts and feel confident again?
I have been repeating the same thought pattern for seven years and have completely lost control of any situation. I am in my early 30s, and I feel like I am trapped in my body, mind, soul, and house because I feel embarrassed to go anywhere or talk to anyone.

Answer:
There's SO much help for repetitive thoughts in the counseling world!  The one thing I'd for sure ask if we met in person is what those repetitive thought patterns look like.  Some repetitive thoughts are more like obsessive thoughts.  For example, that may mean that every time you leave a room, your obsessive thought is to switch the light on and off 5 times.  Or every time you touch a door handle, you think about the germs you came into contact with and washing your hands multiple times.  Sometimes it's more about the same thoughts repeating about bad things that may happen, or critical thoughts we have about ourselves.  Your statement about "feeling confident again" gives me the sense that maybe you struggle with the ways in which you think about yourself.Assuming it's obsessive thoughts: exposure and response prevention therapy is an excellent form of treatment.  Typically, obsessive thoughts influence compulsions, which usually show up as very strict, repetitive rituals in order to manage anxiety.  Exposure and response prevention exposes you to the things that increase anxiety, while response prevention helps you to sit through that anxiety response without performing a compulsion.  For example, you touch a door handle.  Your anxiety increases.  You obsess about the germs you came into contact with and have a strong urge to wash your hands multiple times.  Instead, you sit through the anxiety, let the anxiety decrease on its own, and slowly unpair that anxious response with the behavior.  The more you do this, the more it breaks up those thinking/behavior patterns that make you feel chained to them.Assuming it's self-critical thoughts: cognitive-behavioral therapy can work well here.  Everyone's brain has a default track, that when met with struggle, plays over and over like a broken record.  The more you give into that, the more it plays.  The trick here is creating a competing track, or turning the volume up on a track that boosts your confidence instead of shooting it down.  Some ways to do that are really identifying and writing down what those repetitive thoughts are.  You probably already know them pretty well if they repeat often.  Then next to them--write out a line that has an heir of confidence and/or gentleness.  For example, if your repetitive thought is that you are a failure, you may write out a sentence that is something like:  I may be struggling greatly with this situation, yet I am still trying super hard to get better and that's definitely not a failure.  Every separate repetitive thought can have its own competing sentence.  Initially, these new thoughts will feel weird, foreign, and maybe even like they don't do anything.  Give it time.  The repetitive thoughts have had years to grow, so these new thoughts need time, too.  They are, literally, new pathways in the brain and the more they are traveled, the stronger they will get.I'm also sensing that there's a combination of anxiety and depression.  I would assume that you are probably feeling pretty cut off from the world if you don't want to talk to anyone.  That can be so lonely and isolating.  Because connection is basically crucial for healing, it may be very beneficial for you to see a counselor or find a support that feels safe to you.  Counselors are usually trained very well in these types of issues and some offer telehealth if you are having trouble leaving your home.  It might feel scary and strange at first, but you are in a lot of pain and deserve healing.Hope this helps a bit.  Go with your gut and do what you feel is right for you!  I wish you all the best.