thejana/Elective_modified_2 huggingface dataset:
Topic: depression

Question: I feel like my life is pointless
I have absolutely nothing to do with my life but lay in bed on my phone or hangout with my one friend. I don't have a job, my family doesn't include me in anything, and I don't have many friends. I have nothing to do besides go on my phone. I miss talking to people in person instead of online. I don't even talk to my family in person even from the other room.

Answer:
It sounds like you are feeling pretty stuck, lonely, and hopeless; like you have a desire to be more connected to people and to find purpose in life, but are not sure what to do. I am glad to hear that you have at least one friend and I think it is great that you are reaching out for more connection. If you can, working with a therapist who is competent in treating depression may be a huge benefit to you and help you to regain a sense of meaning, motivation, and connection. Additionally, anything you can do to give yourself a little break from the feeling of pointlessness and any ruminating thoughts you may be having may be of help. I know it may sound pointless in the moment, and you may feel a great deal of inertia in doing so, but you may find that if you force yourself to do something small that is pleasurable, like taking a walk for example, there's a good chance you will be glad that you did so after the fact. Thank you for reaching out.
Topic: depression

Question: How do depression and PMS symptoms contribute to one another and what can I do about it?
I struggle with depression as well as pretty intense mood swings throughout the month. I experience highs where I feel amazing and energetic and then lows where I lack focus, energy, and generally have a more dark outlook on my life. How can I live a more balanced life?

Answer:
Depression and PMS symptoms can be so hard to navigate !  Looking at this from a holistic standpoint can help you understand why you get these mood swings and what to do to balance yourself emotionally during this time. As a woman, we experience peaks and dips during our hormonal cycles and right before menstruation, we tend to feel not ourselves and down. The bloating and extreme cravings do not help either.Making sure your schedule is light and you have things to assist you can be so helpful. Different essential oils like lavender may calm you down, or orange which can uplift your mood. Homeopathy can be effective and gentle during this time as well. Birth control is known to help reduce the extreme spikes in hormones and can reduce your emotional and physical pain. Perhaps even psychiatric medication like an SSRI can help . If you are interested in going down the medication route, be sure to ask the doctor about potential side effects and risks . Reducing your processed sugar intake may help a lot as well. Exercising, spending time outside, practicing stress management and avoiding caffeine and alcohol can all be useful as well.
Topic: parenting

Question: I think my daughter is stressing too much
When my daughter is stressed about a silly thing from school, she starts crying and freaking out. She is a bright student, always has a 4.0, but I am afraid she is stressing too much. I’m afraid it’s going to break her. I don't know if I should get her to a doctor or someone because this is not normal.

Answer:
Great question. Hopefully you received your answer. I would get her to her Pediatrician to rule out medical issues and if the Pediatrician says that nothing medically is wrong with her, then it has to do with mental health issues, so, yes, get in with someone for help, not just for her but also for you to help her when she "freaks out."
Topic: relationships

Question: How will I check if there really is something wrong with me?
My boyfriend says I'm nuts. I need to get help because I get an overwhelming feeling that he is cheating on me. Whenever I try to talk with him about it, he always turns it around on me by telling me what I'm doing wrong. I know that accusing him does not help. When his whole demeanor shifts towards me, I can't help but think that something is wrong. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I try to talk with him to make it better. I let him know when I am feeling down. But I am not confident in these things.  Two weeks ago a girl texted his phone 3 times trying to hook up with him. He texted her back with "Sorry, I've been working. I just read your message." The girl was trying to get him to call her at a time when he was at home with me. He texted her back with "Don't text me anymore." I don't feel like I am way out of the line. But I can't talk with him if all that he will say is that I'm crazy and I need help. What should I do? How will I go about checking if there really is something wrong with me?

Answer:
Trust your intuition that your boyfriend is involved with other people.You gave examples which strongly suggest this.Quite commonly, a person twist someone's words to convince then of having problems in seeing or understanding their own and other's behavior.Your intuition is again working quite well in telling you that your problem is having a boyfriend who manipulates you, not that you're seeing things incorrectly.One way to check if you're totally misreading him, is to examine whether you feel similarly in other relationships.If no one else who knows you tells you that you're crazy, then this strongly points to your boyfriend twisting words so that you feel wrong.Also, a consult with a therapist would clarify the dynamics between you and your boyfriend.A therapist session would also allow you to think out loud in a confidential discussion, what to do with your newfound clarity!
Topic: spirituality

Question: How do I find myself?
I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am.

Answer:
This is perhaps the deepest question that one can ask of themselves and the answer is as elusive as the deepest enigma. We are fluid beings, we are never the same from day to day, we learn or unlearn, we evolve or some of us even devolve, we are in a state of constant flux, changing and adapting, like a cloud in the sky that has its shape changed by the wind, life whittles us away and carves us constantly, trying to understand this question is like trying to bite your own teeth, however we can have a sense of what we would call our core and to understand the core, we need to live and to experience, but also to think deeply, analytically, and critically, by engaging with life we get a sense that we are like the Earth itself, inside of us there is a core, just as there is inside our planet but our continents shift and change over time, like those continents so does our own nature shift throughout our lives.
Topic: depression

Question: Do I have too many issues for counseling?
I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac.    I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years.
   I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling?

Answer:
I believe you can never have too many issues for counseling.  If such is the case, what would be the alternative?  Not seek help at all?  It is important to understand that counseling is a journey.  Counseling is not about getting "fixed," but instead about self-exploration, self-discovery, and empowerment.  I seek to support my clients in all of those areas by helping them see their problems from a different perspective and gently challenging them for better.
Topic: anxiety

Question: Could a rape that happened years ago be the cause of my anxiety?
I was raped repeatedly when I was younger. I told my parents and action was taken, but now that I’m an adult, I suffer from extreme anxiety.

Answer:
Hi. Even though (thankfully) your parents responded well to you telling them, and you received treatment, it's possible, and very normal for sexual abuse trauma to affect you in different ways as you age and develop. Please see a therapist, who can help you find the root of the anxiety.
Topic: depression

Question: How do I get over anxiety, depression, and isolation?
I've have lived for sometime with depression but things have gotten a lot better, but why is it so hard to get over anxiety and social isolation?

Answer:
The best way to handle depression and anxiety is with a combination of appropriate medication given to you by a medical doctor, and therapy to help you understand the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are causing the depression and anxiety in the first place and then to replace these with more positive thoughts and behaviors. This is not something that anyone should just “white knuckle” and try to get through on their own with no help. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a technique that has been proven helpful for depression and anxiety. This takes a therapist trained in CBT. There are some things in life that you cannot change and must learn to accept. A lot of people spend time trying to change things that they have no control over. This may be the behavior of someone else in your life or it could be a situation that you cannot change, such as the recent death of a loved one, a lost relationship, or an accident or illness which has left you handicapped. In cases like this, what can change is your attitude and thoughts about the situation that you now find yourself in. One thing that is inevitable about life is that stuff happens and it is not always pleasant. Some people take these unpleasant occurrences very hard and it throws them into a deep depression. Other people seem to be able to handle life’s ups and downs and bounce back. They do this with having positive coping skills in their life. Learning new coping skills is something your therapist can help you with.A lot of people are so focused on trying to change the things in their life that they cannot change and are ignoring the things that they can change. There are things that you can do. Here is a quote for you to consider. “You are getting almost everything that you are getting based on the choices that you have made. You will continue to get the same thing out of life until you make some changes.” Another quote I like is “You will find a way or you will find an excuse.” Don’t ever say that you have no choice. Everyone has a choice. You might not particularly like any of the choices that you are facing, but you do have choices. Not happy in a relationship? You can leave it. Hate your job? Get a new one. If it matters to you, you will find a way. Don’t sit there complaining about everything but not doing anything different or better.Take care of yourself. Exercise is very important not only for your physical health, but for your mental health as well. Eating right and exercising will help you feel better about yourself. Also, find a meditation that works for you. There are progressive muscle relaxation exercises, visual and mental meditations, and many many more. Start making some positive changes in your life today! You can do it!
Topic: marriage

Question: How do I get my husband to listen to me?
I'm always listening to my husband, but it feels like he never listens to me.    How do I get my husband to listen to me instead of me listening to him all the time?

Answer:
Thanks for reaching out. This is a great question. Communication is definitely a 2-way street. One person cannot participate in a discussion. It takes a talker and a listener. Furthermore, communication will breakdown if each party is only focusing on his or her agenda and is not open to what the other person is saying.  since I can't ask you questions about what is going on, I am going to make a guess at one situation that comes up a lot when I work with couples. One person focuses more on solving the issue, than listening to their partner.  This can be frustrating for the partner who wants to just be "heard."I understand that you are working really hard to listen to him and he might not be putting as much effort into listening to you. That can be really frustrating and difficult and I want to acknowledge you for wanting to improve your relationship.One of the best strategies to gettting heard, is actually to BE A GOOD LISTENER to someone else. I know you are probably already a good listener and for you to work on listening skills may seem counterintuitive, right? You want to get heard and now you are the one doing the listening. But this can really create more effective communication if you invest time working on doing some active listening in your relationship because then you get to model those skills for your husband and allow him to see what it feels like to be listened to and then you can even teach him some of those skills. In other words, you practice specific techniques that you can use and then teach later on. Here are some skills for you to use consciously and then you can teach:Pay attention and use your body language to convey that you are in the conversation. No texting or distractions. Lean in. Focus.Listen for content and for emotion. Clarify what you don't understand. Try to understand the person's underlying emotions. Don't rush to judgement or to changing what is going on with the person. Sit in a place where you are really curious and want to understand what is going on. Encourage the other person to continue speaking, Nod and vocalize that you hear what they are saying.Ask questions to get to understand the other person's point of view.I believe when we can model these kinds of listening skills, and the other person feels heard, they will be more likely to listen to us. If you don't find that this doesn't spill over in that way, then have a discussion about what you are practicing and that you are learning these skills to be a better listener so you can understand him better. Then explain how it might be helpful if you both tried it. If there is push back from him, set up a trial period to just try the skill, perhaps for 2 weeks and see if it helps. If communication is really breaking down, then it might be time to work with a counselor who can help with these skills.Best of luck to you!
Topic: parenting

Question: I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore
I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I’m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.
   I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?

Answer:
Your situation is a difficult one, but I would encourage you to start considering how to set boundaries for yourself and your family members. Often, times we believe we have to allow a certain behavior because a person is family. This is not true. It sounds like you could use some help understanding finding your voice and asserting yourself with your family members.
Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: Is it normal to cry at therapy?
Is it normal for people to cry during therapy, or is it just me?

Answer:
It's normal to experience many intense emotions in therapy. Sometimes those emotions lead to tears- so, long story short... yes! It's also quite common for emotions like frustration and even anger to be felt during the therapeutic process. Change and processing is hard. Allow the emotions to come through naturally and discuss them if it seems like it would be helpful.
Topic: parenting

Question: My daughter calls me crazy, and I’m not sure how to handle that
I am divorced and happily remarried. Our blended family of children are in their 20s. My youngest, age 20, continues to call me crazy and favors her dad. He was abusive to me, and I left with injuries. He never wanted kids, and I did. He paid child support only through forced wage earners. Now my daughters favor him after all the sacrifices I made for them the past 15 years as a single mom. I don’t deny them a relationship with their dad, but to be called crazy and then watch them hang out with him hurts me to the very core. I’m not sure how to handle this.

Answer:
It sounds really difficult to know that your daughter may be "choosing" her dad over you, perhaps I can help by saying her intense emotional reactions towards you actually acknowledge how much safer and connected she feels towards you. We tend to have big emotions around those we care for most. I would suggest to let her know how hard it is to hear that, and sad it make you feel at times, and that this is hard for everyone. Expressing your feelings to here, will allow her to express hers too.
Topic: relationships

Question: How can I get over this girl I only knew for a year?
I met this girl in high school. She had switched schools at the end of the year, and I have not seen her since. It's been a few years. We had a very good and friendly relationship, and we seemed to have a lot in common. I never gained the courage to ask her out.

Answer:
One way to make good use of the situation you describe is to prepare and rehearse within yourself the way you'd handle a similar situation in the future.Since a lot of time has gone by since you and this girl saw each other on a regular basis, right now you've got no idea if you'd feel the same way about her today as you did a few years ago.The relationship does point out the priorities and values you hold for a potential partner.  That you liked the friendliness you shared is good for you to recognize.  This way you realize you like friendship as a relationship property.  To have lots of similar interests, is another quality you appreciate in a partner.The more you know about what you do and don't like in a partner, the greater your chance to notice these qualities in someone new who comes along your path.
Topic: anxiety

Question: Do I have some type of anxiety?
Sometimes, I'm fine and can go out or meet people, but other days, my heart races and words physically cannot come out of my mouth. I've always thought it was normal and I was just nervous, but the other day, it took me almost 30 minutes of sitting in my car to find the courage to enter Target by myself.

Answer:
Though I don't know for sure, it sounds like anxiety to me. I think it would be helpful if you work with a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders.
Topic: parenting

Question: How can I deal with my daughter's rebellious behavior?
She's a teenager, and for the last two years, she's lived with her older brother. She's angry because she wants to come live with me, but my current living situation is not the best for her. She refuses to see any reason. She's being disrespectful. Her sexual curiosity is waking up.

Answer:
You're her mom and she needs you.  I would suggest focusing on connection.  Since you are not currently living together, one way to do this would be to plan a date in which she gets to decide what you do together.  Give her time to think about what she wants to do.  As long as the activity is safe and affordable, try to do it, even if it's not your thing.  While you are with her, turn off the phone and give her your undivided attention.  The goal would be just for you to enjoy each other and connect.
Topic: trauma

Question: What is the best way to cope with the loss of someone to suicide?
I recently lost a friend to suicide. I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?

Answer:
Suicide is not a natural way to pass from this Earth, so many times it can be EXTREMELY tough to deal with because of the "unnatural-ness" of the event. We may find ourselves feeling guilty that we did not see it or that we could've have done more or something to stop it, but often the fish in the fishbowl cannot see that which is closest to him. You are currently trying to numb your feelings, those feelings as nasty as they are, are meant to be felt, those feelings help us to process the event and also help us to pass through the situation. Your friend has a legacy, remember it, and honor that legacy everyday in some small or even grand way, perhaps committing or volunteering your time to help others in honor of your friend.Hope this helps, C
Topic: depression

Question: How can I manage my anxiety and depression so I can feel normal again?
My motivation has gone away. It's hard to get out of bed. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm miserable. My anxiety and depression have taken over my life.

Answer:
Anxiety and Depression are challenging experiences to live with and to manage on a daily basis. I would say that both are challenges to overcome but solutions to living healthy and well exist. Step 1: Talk about it. With friends, family, partners, counselors, and other trusted people in your life. Step 2: Create a plan with a counselor to learn new skills that help you recognize and manage your symptoms. Step 3: Don't give up. Working on yourself can be difficult and hard at the beginning. Stick with it and you will be able to find exercises, tools, and resources that help you live well.
Topic: anxiety

Question: How can I talk to my psychologist about upping my dose of Xanax?
I’ve been on 0.5 mg of Xanax twice a day for the past month. It hasn't been helping me at all, but when I take 1 mg during a big anxiety attack, it calms me down. I was wondering how I can ask my psychologist to up the dose to 1 mg twice a day without her thinking I'm abusing them. I just have very big anxiety attacks. Should I stay on the 0.5mg and deal with the attacks or should I ask to up the dose? I'm afraid she will take me off them and put me on something else.

Answer:
Do you think you're abusing xanax?It is a highly addictive drug so maybe one reason you feel compelled to take more is bc you already are addicted.Drugs don't do anything helpful in solving life's problems.   Once the effect wears off, the stressful situation is once again waiting for you to address it.Think over your reason for not directly asking your psychologist about upping your dose.Also, do you ever talk about your life problems with this psychologist or only your need for drugs?    The more gradual path to a better life is to not need drugs in the first place. This consists of your willingness to face the matters that are creating such terrible feelings inside you.
Topic: professional-ethics

Question: What is the proper procedure if your child's therapist is leaving the practice to work elsewhere?

Answer:
Generally speaking therapists are obligated to help their clients connect with a new therapist should they require ongoing support and the therapist is no longer able to continue working with them. This may simply mean that the therapist provides some names and numbers for other therapists or agencies that may be appropriate for your child. If the therapist is leaving one practice for another and is able to continue seeing the client than that may be arranged and is often the most desired outcome for the sake continuity. Sometimes partners or employers in the original practice may expect and require clients of the practice to be transferred to another therapist within that practice instead of being taken to a new practice.