thejana/Elective_modified_2 huggingface dataset:
Topic: depression

Question: Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone?
I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
   I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
   How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone?

Answer:
You are exhibiting some specific traits of a particular temperament type. Seek out a counselor who provides NCCA temperament therapy and discover the joy of being you -- God loves you as you are!
Topic: depression

Question: Is it possible to get PTSD from being very depressed?
I have manic depression and last summer was very very bad. I have recurring nightmares and I avoid anything that will give me a similar feeling as I did that summer.

Answer:
In general, the answer is no. Depression can not not generally cause PTSD. Your question does make a lot of sense, though. Depression is a common symptom of PTSD. A counselor in your area should be able to help you what's going on - either feelings of depression, PTSD, or both.
Topic: parenting

Question: Does my daughter have a mental disability?
My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines.

Answer:
It sounds like it might be worth asking the school for an evaluation to determine whether your daughter has any learning disabilities such as dysgraphia or dyslexia or seek an evaluation through an educational neuropsychologist.  I would also suggest having her vision checked by a developmental optometrist.
Topic: marriage

Question: I'm disgusted by my own fetish
I have an overwhelming desire to watch my wife have sex with another man. I talked to her about it, and she said she will do it for me. The idea excites me to no end, but I don’t want to because it disgusts me. How can I stop wanting it, or should I just give into it and do it? I’ve been struggling for years with this. It won’t go away. By the way, I am in my mid 30s and my wife is in her mid 40s.

Answer:
Try to understand your own ambivalence to having your wish fulfilled.Since you and your wife are in a relationship, the sex she will have with another man will affect emotions in both you and your wife.I suggest you and her prepare emotionally before you both go ahead with the sexual arrangement,By anticipating any jealousy or feeling helpless or out of control, or in control, since it's your wish being fulfilled, all the feelings you and her are able to expect, you'll be more prepared for the actual emotions from the episode, which may also resolve your conflicted feelings about creating the event.There are a lot of unknowns in the situation you're considering.  Having your partner, who will be key in satisfying your sex wish, be active in understanding these unknowns, is a good way of keeping your relationship strong overall.
Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: How does counseling help people?
Does counseling really do anything that can help people?

Answer:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an effective therapy for everyday struggles, as well as depression, anxiety, substance use, eating disorders, and many others. And all of our expert therapists at Denver Mental Health Collective are trained in CBT. Very simply, CBT is designed around the belief that emotions are hard to change directly. So, we target the emotions by changing thoughts and behaviors that contribute to distressing emotions.Does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Work?CBT is evidenced-based and its effectiveness is proven. In brief, an article published in the journal Cognitive Therapy and Research says:“The evidence-base of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is very strong.” (1) “CBT is as effective as, or more effective than, other forms of psychological therapy or psychiatric medications. (2)”What Does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Involve? Simply, your therapist will encourage you to think about your life in new ways. And CBT will help you recognize ineffective habits and teach you how to change them.And then CBT will help you examine the way your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors all contribute to the problems you experience. Finally, you’ll learn specific skills and techniques for coping with problems more effectively and changing your habits.What Are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Skills?Packed with exercises and skills, CBT will help you put an end to the negative thoughts. A Denver Mental Health Collective therapist will help you reconnect with life using the following skills:Turn Off Self-Defeating ThoughtsChange Negative Core BeliefsPractice Stress ReductionLearn New Problem Solving SkillsUse Assertive Communication SkillsPractice Coping Imagery and SkillsLearn to Face Fearful SituationsIs CBT Right For You?CBT is an excellent fit if any of these describe you:You struggle with anxiety or depressionIt feels difficult to control your behaviorLow self-esteem is undermining your relationshipsYou’d love a break from destructive thoughtsYou wish to create a more balanced lifeYou feel generally stressed or angryAs difficult as these challenges are, you are not alone.In fact, you are capable of learning new thinking patterns. And reducing daily stress. And and putting a stop to destructive thoughts. As a result, you’ll gain a better understanding of your thoughts, and your behaviors can start to change. In the same way, a better understanding of your thoughts and beliefs will begin to reflect the reality around you. Together, we can help you gain a more positive self-image.Of course, you might not be quite ready to schedule. So, here are some links to some helpful information:https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioralhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3584580/http://cogbtherapy.com/how-effective-is-cbt-compared-to-other-treatments
Topic: depression

Question: How can I be happy again?
At school, it feels like I've lost all my friends, and I've been really weird with my sleeping patterns. I used to cut myself, and I really want to again, but I change in the locker rooms because I don’t want anybody to see. I get ticked off easy and overreact. At night, I’m very depressed and listen to sad music and all that sort of stuff. Please help me. I just want to be happy again, and I feel like I’m starting to fake a smile at school.

Answer:
As silly as it may sound, making sure that we are getting the right amount of *restful* sleep is very important when we are feeling low.  The reason for this is the lack of proper sleep significantly affects our ability to problem solve and critically evaluate our situation and can lead to a domino effect in our thinking.  I know you feel that you may be losing your friendships, but what are the facts that have led to this belief? Really ask yourself, "are they facts?" or are they your perspective on events.  In regards to your coping behaviours at night, it sounds very isolating and also very silenced.  As opposed to the sad music, why not try all music, allowing yourself to experience the wide breadth of emotions that are circling within you.  One of the other recommendations I would make would be to try and journal about some of those thoughts and fears in order to release them in a positively cathartic way. Some of the behaviours that you have mentioned are a bit more significant, though and I would recommend speaking with someone directly in the near future.
Topic: family-conflict

Question: How can I avoid family members who stress me out?
My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining, but I don't want to hear it anymore.

Answer:
This sounds very stressful.  Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind.  If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step.  Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward.  Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent.  Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries.  That may mean not picking up your phone for each call.  Soon enough the message will be clear.  Good luck.
Topic: addiction

Question: The organization I work for has told me I cannot go to my 12 step meetings
This is my recovery, and I don't feel that it is okay for them to ask this. They told me it is policy due to the fact that I may run into a peer there. I am a peer counselor in the small community that I grew up in. I am in recovery myself. I was asked to come work for this organization after I was two years sober (I was in treatment in this organization). I work with mental health peers and run life skill groups. I don't work with substance peers.

Answer:
Seems you would benefit more from legal guidance than from therapist advice.For example, I imagine policy must be presented in writing to the prospective employee prior to signing a contract of employment.If you were not  given in writing the organization's policy of employees not being permitted to attend meetings, then I doubt the organization can hold you accountable for policy which you never were informed existed.There are workplace rules and regulations which your matter may be protected by.Since attorney fees are high, first look on your state's website for any agency your state government has which monitors employee rights in the workplace on being informed on policy.If you are in the right, as to having the right to not follow policy about which you never were told, then the next point to consider is whether or not to take any action based on your finding.Being legally in the right doesn't guarantee your workplace will be happy to accept they are wrong.The next step is to consider your own peace of mind working for an organization which essentially believes violating your civil right to free association, is ok.You may decide on a longer term plan on leaving this place.  Usually when an employer does wrong in one area, they are also doing wrong in other areas of the workplace.
Topic: relationships

Question: Should I message my crush?
I have had a crush on this guy for years. I last talked to him a few years ago when we graduated from high school. We left off on a good note. Should I message him and see how he is doing, or is it too late?

Answer:
You'll only find out whether or not it is "too late", by following through with wanting to message him.Regardless of whether the response you receive is what you'd hoped to hear, including not hearing back from him, you will have done yourself a great honor and respect by following through on a wish and curiosity you've had for some time.
Topic: behavioral-change

Question: How do I stop sneaking away from home at night?
I'm a teenager and I've been sneaking out of my house at night for a year now. I've been caught several times. I want to stop doing this but I don't know where to start. How do I stop?

Answer:
Where do you go and what is your reason to go wherever this is?Try to understand these reasons because the answers may give you good guidance as to other ways to get what   it is your trying to reach by sneaking from your home at night.If for example, you're sneaking out because your parents are arguing and you feel hurt by this and want to escape hearing their arguments, then you can come up with other ways to hear less of their arguments.If you sneak out bc your parents restrict your friends or time to socialize with your friends, and your friends are doing legal and safe behaviors, then maybe you could do some socializing online w them.Also, I wonder the reason why either of your parents isn't aware that you leave the house.  Do you feel your parent would offer and would you ask your parent to give their suggestions so you feel more motivated to stay home?
Topic: depression

Question: How can I stop feeling sad at my mother's passing over a year ago?

Answer:
I'm sorry for your mother's passing on.Feeling sad to lose someone who mattered very much to you, is normal.  Even crying on occasions you recall specific times with her, or on holidays and birthdays, is normal.  I'm glad you're aware of your feelings.The only reason to be concerned about your sadness regarding your mother's passing, is if you are so sad that the sadness stops you from doing other activities in your life.If you are able to feel, sad, recall both good and not so good memories about your mom, the times you had with her and life lessons you learned through her, and carry on with your usual activities, then feel free to know you are someone who is aware of their feelings.If you're staying in bed most of the day, eating and sleeping poorly, not going to work or taking care of your house and household, because your sad feelings are flooding your life, then consider a professional, credentialed and licensed therapist who can help you grow stronger within yourself while finding a place in your heart for memories of mom.Good luck!
Topic: parenting

Question: What can I do about my children blaming me for their addictions?
I have three children: a biological daughter, a stepdaughter, and a stepson. I found out my stepdaughter overdosed today. My daughter blames me. I told her to stay out of it. I'm scared of all three kids now. They all blame me for their choices they made. All three have drug addictions. I had a stroke in 2013 so I need to depend on people from now on.

Answer:
Blaming others is one of our greatest coping mechanisms.  It is not just for addiction, and often we blame the ones closest to us.  You can not stop them from blaming you, you can stop yourself for taking on the burden.  We are all in charge of the choices we make.  No one makes us do something other than our self.  We choose how we internalize and react to situations.  I would find a good therapist who understands family dynamics and addiction to help you cope with your current environment and help you move forward.
Topic: relationships

Question: How do I fix my relationship?
My boyfriend is in recovery from drug addiction. We recently got into a fight and he has become very distant. I don't know what to do to fix the relationship.

Answer:
I'm sorry you have tension between you and your bf.A relationship means two people who relate, right?!   If only one person does all the work to change their approach, what they expect, what they offer the other, then this becomes the new problem to solve.If you've already done a significant amount of reflection and change in the way you relate to him, then the next step may be to be patient as long as possible while he decides what to change about his part in the relationship toward you.Substance abuse recovery requires profound effort and reflection.  If it is successful then the result will show very different qualities in your bf than the ones you know currently.He may be so absorbed in the recovery that he can only concentrate on this.   Of course if the fights persist and you have been patient for what feels too long, then there are different questions to address.
Topic: family-conflict

Question: No matter what I do, my mom will almost always find something wrong with it
My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic, silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry, but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn’t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?

Answer:
You have the answer already. It is not your mom's fault. Always remember that in spite of the disease, that human being you call mom is still there. To cope with the feelings of frustration, anger, and guilt, practice accepting what is at this time. Bring peace to these feelings and commit to move on to provide your mom love. If you can, use mindfulness meditation to stay focus and calm your brain.
Topic: relationships

Question: My fiancé cheated. How can we mend our relationship?
I'm in a relationship with my fiancé and I currently found out that she's been cheating on me with a co-worker. I was very upset none the less. I understand what she did was wrong, but I want to spend the rest of my life with her. So I'm willing to forgive and move on. We have been together for a little over 9 years, and we have a son. At the beginning of our relationship, I was unfaithful and she caught me cheating. She forgave me for what I've done to her and since then I been completely faithful. I'm worried about our relationship and want to move forward but its been very unsettling. All I can think about is her with another man. I don't know what to do or where to go for advice?

Answer:
My first question for you would be to see if you've talked with her about it yet? You mentioned you found out....and I know this can be so painful. It can also be frightening to bring up the experience when it hurts a lot, when you feel so unsettled as you mention. But you can look at this as a vital and important piece of information about what's happening in your relationship, and an invitation to get really honest and genuine with each other. You have a long history, being together 9 years, and a son, so you are very bonded no matter what changes happen in your relationship. It may be incredibly helpful to find a counselor you can both go talk with. Having a third party who is neutral and cares about your process and hers can be such a relief when you need to discuss things you feel scared about. Even just a few sessions can make a huge difference. If this doesn't feel possible for you right now.....ask your fiancee for time to set aside for a meaningful heart-to-heart talk. Say you'd like to set it up on the calendar, and make sure you have a babysitter for your son. Set aside at least 4 hours. Let her know that you'd like to hear her honest truth about what's going on, and share with her your truth as well. It's not a time for criticizing or condemning, and I don't sense that is your intention at all--you have a great deal of love for her. Speaking honestly and listening openly is an amazing gift, both for yourself and for your partner. You can do it.
Topic: depression

Question: Is there anything I can do about my depression and anxiety?
I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for a number of years. I have been on medication, but lately my depression has felt worse. Can counseling help?

Answer:
Thank you for asking this important question. I find that there are three steps to getting ready for treatment. Step one is expressing interest in wanting to receiving treatment for the outcome of positive behavioral change. Congratulations you did the first step! You are showing your readiness to start counseling by asking this question. Now the second step is to find a counselor who specializes in treating clients with Anxiety and Depression. The therapeutic orientations I have found to be helpful in treating clients with  Anxiety and Depression are a combination of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Mindfulness, and Solution Focused Brief Therapy. Receiving meditation for your symptoms if part of the treatment, and the other part is receiving counseling to increase your resilience for future events. Research has found that medication and psychotherapy treatments together shows the most effective outcome for Depression.  The third step is to increase your positive self-talk to motivate yourself to attend treatment. As counselors, we are aware of the anxieties and fears that are associated with talking to a new professional for the first time. However, remind yourself that you are doing this to improve your well being. I hope this was helpful, and good luck with your treatment journey.
Topic: self-esteem

Question: My relationship is suffering from severe abandonment issues
I feel as though I'm suffering severe abandonment issues stemming from childhood. I convince myself I'm not worthy of happiness, and I’m always afraid I'm doing something wrong. It's as if I create little scenarios in my mind, and I start to believe them.

Answer:
I would like to offer my compassion that you are struggling with with these feelings. With the information provided and not knowing what your childhood was like or what you've experienced, I will say that from my experience working with people, these feelings are normal, and a normal part  of the process  of healing and just by posting your question tells me you're aware and desire to change this. Very good! I commend your strength. Your feelings are not uncommon and the feelings of abandonment, or second guessing or loss of happiness are also not uncommon.  It's also not uncommon for these issues to arise and trickle into our adult life and relationships. Again, with little information about your situation, it is hard to give an exact answer. However, those who have experienced a dysfunctional childhood or trauma, often present with the issues and feelings you've described. The great news, is that with good therapy, you can regain your happiness, self worth and begin to feel  empowered, you deserve to be happy. Be patient, gentle and kind  to yourself. I would encourage you to begin with searching for a licensed therapist in your area, maybe go for a consultation session  and simply see how your feel about it. Therapy can be incredibly helpful and life changing. I wish you the very best! Laura Cassity, LMSW, LMAC
Topic: relationship-dissolution

Question: How do I move on?
I'm obsessing about a terrible breakup. Everything is a constant reminder. How do I move on?

Answer:
Let yourself know what you feel.   There is no timetable or known length of how much time a particular person requires in order to feel that the dissolved relationship is behind them.Probably the more you allow yourself to acknowledge your sadness from seeing the reminders, the sooner you will feel fresh and new again.
Topic: relationships

Question: Why does my boyfriend think every some I like means something about our relationship?
Whenever I sing along with a song that I like (even if it's just for the beat and not the lyrics), my boyfriend assumes that the words of the song mean something negative about our realationship.    I don't why he gets so mad and assumes I mean something negative from every song. Now I can't enjoy and sing a song without him thinking I'm trying to give him a hint. He even accuses me of cheating and lying. It's driving me nuts. I love him and would never do such an awful thing ever. How can I get him to understand?

Answer:
Well, have you told him similar descriptions of your feelings as you just wrote here?This will give him the same understanding you're allowing us to have here on this site.Keep in mind that the best, the amount and the number of times you tell your boyfriend some information about you, still means that whether or not he is willing to accept and rely on your information, is in his hands only.Try to feel satisfied with your own effort to explain yourself.   Another path to open is to ask your boyfriend his reason to feel insecure about your love for him.  This may open a wider discussion about what he feels he'd like from you so he feels good in the relationship.