thejana/Elective_dataset huggingface dataset:
Topic: trauma

Question: Could a car accident add more problems to my posttraumatic stress disorder?
I have been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder due to my military experiences. Not a year ago, I had a car accident. Could this experience add more problems?

Answer (from RINDA SMITHDirector, Rinspire Life Coaching):
A car accident can be scary and possibly trigger your symptoms of PTSD. It is good that you recognize the possibility of this occurring.Not everyone who experiences a car accident develops PTSD. The chances are definitely increased due to your prior diagnosis during military service.Some of the things to be mindful of for yourself include:1. Feelings of anxiety and increased heart rate when you're faced with reminders of the event.2. Feeling a little more on edge when you're driving.3.Being more watchful. You're more likely to scan your environment for potential sources of threats.4. Avoidance. Because of the anxiety that often follows an accident, it's natural that you may want to avoid some situations or experience hesitation at times.If you experience any of these symptoms or feel other symptoms of PTSD it would be advisable to seek help possibly through your local VA Medical Clinic or a private practitioner. There are certain modalities such as EMDR that can help with your symptoms.
Topic: diagnosis

Question: How does a counselor diagnose someone with a disorder?

Answer (from Sonya WilsonLicensed Professional Counselor):
A lot goes into diagnosing for a disorder.  It is according to what the provider's assessment from information gathered, reported and observed from the client.
Topic: behavioral-change

Question: How do I deal with OCD?

Answer (from Vivian D. Echevarria Guzman, MSC, LPC-S, NCCBilingual Licensed Professional Counselor):
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be similar to anxiety disorders, assuming that you have already been diagnosed with OCD, it is important that you learn to identify the symptoms, the triggers and how to manage them. Different types of treatment have proven successful, among them Cognitive Behavioral therapy can help you to understand the source and thought patterns that cause the behavior,  Exposure therapy could help you to manage the obsession by interacting with the objects that are the source of obsession. Other creative therapy techniques may help you to manage symptoms and help you to relax when triggered. ¿Cómo manejo el OCD (Desorden Obsesivo Compulsivo)?El Desorden Obsesivo Compulsivo puede ser similar a otros desordenes de ansiedad.  Asumiendo que ya has sido diagnosticado por un profesional de la salud mental, el próximo paso es aprender sobre el desorden.  Es importante comprender los  síntomas relacionados con el desorden, y que en particular los causa, ya que identificamos los causantes de los síntomas podemos aprender a manejar o reducirlos.Se recomiendan diferentes tratamientos, entre ellos: Terapia Cognitiva Conductual te puede ayudar a comprender la causa que activa los patrones obsesivos y ayuda a corregir los patrones mentales y errores de pensamiento.  La terapia de Exposición te ayuda a procesar pensamientos y emociones según interactúas con los objetos o actividades de obsesión.  Otras técnicas de Terapia Creativa te pueden ayudar a reducir síntomas, y relajarte cuando estas expuesto a los mismos.
Topic: parenting

Question: I lied to my mom, then felt bad and told her the truth
She cried because she lost all trust in me. Now I feel disgusting and like my heart just got stabbed, what do I do?

Answer (from Pamela SuraciBuild on your strengths, grow in your challenge areas and improve your life!):
You felt bad when you lied, so you told the truth.  I imagine your mom was really shocked and upset - both of those things tell me you are a pretty honest person.  It's possible that your mom had a big reaction simply because she has learned that her child, from whom she always assumed honesty, was capable of being dishonest.  That's not awesome, but it's not the end of the world.  You made a mistake - you'll make more of those in your life, just try not to make the same ones over and over again.It sounds like you and your mom are close so I can see why it would feel so awful to have her distrust you.  Since you are a fundamentally honest person, the way back to being trusted is going to be simple, but may take a little time.  The "recipe" is easy - say what you are doing/going to do; do only that unless change is necessary, in which case you inform others involved, and repeat.  And cut yourself some slack.  Your mom will recover and so will you.  It's an important and painful lesson about integrity, but once learned it will serve you well.
Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: Is it normal to cry at therapy?
Is it normal for people to cry during therapy, or is it just me?

Answer (from Leonard PikaardWhen you're ready, help is here.):
This is one of those cases where there is "no wrong answer."Many people DO cry, while others do not. Some people speak quietly, others may yell, and some find it painfully difficult to say anything at all in a therapeutic setting.My office has tissues readily on hand, and any client who uses them is assured that they are free to express the emotions they feel in a safe space.
Topic: relationship-dissolution

Question: Should I tell my separated wife that I'm expecting a child with the woman I'm dating?
I got married in 2014. I have a two year old son. His mom and I decided to separate due to my infidelities. We've tried to reconcile our differences but it never works out. Since we've been separated, I've dated someone, and we are expecting a baby girl. Is this something I should mention to my wife? The current woman whom I'm dating has been telling me for months to break up with her, but it's hard because I actually love her.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Only tell your former girlfriend who is the mother of your son, what is necessary for her to know as it relates to your son.The mother of your son has every right as a parent to know who is directly involved in her son's life.First figure out how you will handle your current girlfriend's request to end the relationship you have with her.Without knowing whether you are in a relationship or not, is a key piece of information which the mother of your son would likely have interest to know and be entitled to know.Also, love is never enough to keep a marriage working.  Love is a wonderful emotion only managing daily life and family decisions requires commitment to the other person.Reflect within yourself if you are willing to commit to your current girlfriend.   Then you'd have a substantial offer to make to her of your willingness to be together with her.
Topic: intimacy

Question: I'm soon to be married, and I've been messing around with others
I’m a man, and I’m soon to be married. I have been messing around with other men on the side. It started as a once in a while thing, but it’s been happening a lot. I don't know what to do.

Answer (from Lorrie GuerraTransforming emotional pain in adults):
I would start by examining the reasons for seeking out other relationships. Are you getting something from the other men that you do not currently receive from your current partner? Such as, is it more exciting with others and that excitement is lacking in your current relationship?
Topic: substance-abuse

Question: Can I sign my brother into a mental health facility?
My brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication. He's been using methamphetamine and alcohol and was found sleeping naked in my step mom driveway in 12 degree weather.
   I was adopted in by his dad (who just passed) and his mother will not Get involved because she's afraid of financial responsibility.    Do I have the rights to be able to sign my brother into mentalhealth facility?

Answer (from Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor):
Thanks for asking this question. I know it can be really difficult to deal with issues like this.To answer your question, you might be able to get you brother some mental health help, even if he doesn't recognize that he needs it. In most states, an individual can request a mental health evaluation of a family member if that family member poses a danger to themselves or someone else, or if they are unable to take care of their own basic needs.You can always call 911 if you are concerned about his immediate safety (for example if you find him sleeping outside in below freezing weather.  As an alternative to calling 911, you might also be able to request an evaluation from an authorized mental health provider.  The deatsils of who you would contact vary from state to state. Here's a link with some additional resources:http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/someone-i-know-is-in-crisisHe's lucky to have a brother who cares for his wellbeing as much as you do.
Topic: depression

Question: Do I have too many issues for counseling?
I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac.    I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years.
   I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling?

Answer (from Gabriel ThibautTransform your conflicts to strengthen your relationship):
There is no such things as "too  many issues". Many of the issues cited here are connected. For example, in this case working on the sexual abuse will possibly address the depression, the anxiety, the self esteem. There may be some grief to process around the impact of the cancer. Our body, mind and spirit are parts of one system. They are interconnected.Addressing these issue are important so you can be relieved of the burden and feel more spontaneous and enjoy life even more.
Topic: behavioral-change

Question: Can someone with bipolar disorder feel like they are not themselves, like an observer in their own body and not really in control?

Answer (from Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals):
Well, one of the symptoms of bipolar disorder is having times of really high-energy and kind of feeling like they rule the world, so perhaps.There are also some other things that come to mind when you mention this. For example, the person you are describing could be reacting to something that happened in their past.It would probably be helpful to speak with a local mental health professional.
Topic: depression

Question: Do I have too many issues for counseling?
I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac.    I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years.
   I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling?

Answer (from Sara BakerLet me help YOU accomplish your goals and develop a better life worth living. ):
Absolutely not! A lot of the issues that have been identified are strongly correlated to each other. Sometimes when you start therapy and 'address' the first issue, it helps decrease the severity of the other issues.
Topic: anxiety

Question: I'm scared because my boyfriend is interested in BDSM
I'm concerned about my boyfriend. I suffer from anxiety, but I always have this feeling he wants to hurt me because he told me he was interested in BDSM intercourse. We haven't tried it, but I've had this feeling he always wants to.

Answer (from Robin Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCCMental Health in a Primary Care Setting):
Hello! Thank you for your question. There are few things
that people find more personal than their sexual relationships. When we feel
connected to our partner, sex can be best thing since sliced bread. However, if
we feel disconnected in some way, sex can feel degrading and even painful. 
I don’t know the specifics about your relationship or how
comfortable you are in talking to your boyfriend, but this is one of those
situations where communicating your fears is a good idea. The only exception to
that would be if you believe he is actually a threat to you in some way. If you
believe that, then you should do whatever you think is safe. It sounds like
there is a part of you that is already afraid of him, and if that is the case
then remaining safe is your top priority. 
Assuming you are able to share with him your feelings,
telling him what you are and are not interested in sexually is very appropriate
and sexually healthy. Sex is something that is supposed to be enjoyable for
all parties. All parties should feel respected and able to say “no” to
absolutely anything they are not comfortable with. 
I call the respectful agreement between sexual partners, “sex
trust.” Sex Trust means your partner respects your boundaries. It means they
won’t degrade you sexually with hurtful words, forced sex, or forcing or
coercing sex in ways someone is not interested in having.  Your personal safety and mental well-being is
what is most important. 
Now, if there is a part of you that is curious about BDSM
and may be interested in participating in it, there are many websites that you
can explore to learn information. I will warn you, some websites and articles
are better or worse than others, but you may at least feel more informed. 
Many people engage in BDSM and have happy relationships, but
again, it completely depends on what each person in the relationship wants. It is
also important to know that BDSM is not just one thing and people practice it
differently based on comfort. If it is something you are uncomfortable with,
then you shouldn’t feel obligated to do it.
 
I hope this was helpful. Be well.
 
Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC
Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: Is it normal to cry at therapy?
Is it normal for people to cry during therapy, or is it just me?

Answer (from Christina McGrath Fair"Enlightenment is when a wave realizes it is the ocean." -Thich Nhat Hanh):
Of course! There are some people who will never cry during sessions and some that always cry. In counseling you may be talking about very vulnerable topics and experiences and it may even be the first time you are talking to someone about your concerns, thoughts, or feelings. It is perfectly natural to cry if you are so moved.
Topic: marriage

Question: What makes a good marriage?
What makes a healthy marriage last?

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
I appreciate your question.The answer of what makes a "good marriage" are as varied as there are marriages.Basically, similarity, like mindedness in beliefs and values, makes a good marriage. The best chance of getting along with someone on a longterm basis is when two people see life and the world in similar ways.Even though "opposites attract" this is a short lived dynamic which breaks apart when there aren't enough similarities in common between the partners.
Topic: parenting

Question: Is screaming and cussing at your child considered emotional abuse?
My dad is always, and I mean always, cussing and screaming at me for no reason at all. He makes me feel stupid. He also compares me to my other siblings in a negative way and demeans me. Is this abuse?

Answer (from Gayle WeillSpecializing in relationships and parenting - additional certifications in Child-parent psychotherapy, Circle of Security-Parenting program, adoption competency, hypnosis, and EMDR):
It sounds like your dad makes you feel badly about yourself when he screams, cusses at you, and compares you to your siblings. I am so, so sorry you are going through that. That would be considered emotional abuse because it sounds like he is greatly hurting your feelings when he is behaving in that way. My heart goes out to you. No one deserves to be treated like that and you do not have to allow yourself to be treated like that. Please try to find a therapist who could give you tips for creating healthy boundaries with your dad regarding how he treats you.
Topic: intimacy

Question: What should my boyfriend and I do to cope with his cancer?
We have been together over a year. We spend time together every day no matter how busy. He started to be unusually fatigued and losing weight. He also began to be distant and sexually selfish. We had a argument, and he confided he has late stage stomach cancer. He wont treat it.

Answer (from Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals):
I wonder if both you and your boyfriend could have a conversation about what you both want, wish for, and desire from one another right now. That doesn't necessarily mean that your partner will give everything that you ask for, but this is one of the ways that he can learn more about what would help you through this and you can learn how you could support him, since traditional medical treatment is not something he wants.You may also consider using some open-ended questions (not yes or no answers) to talk about what you're feeling about both about his cancer and about your relationship. Both of you may discuss different ways that you would like support from one another.I would also see if he was comfortable with you disclosing this to one or a few of your close friends (with him considering doing the same) so that you both have support that includes each other and also includes others because there may be days when you both have a negatively emotional day at the same time and would benefit from talking with someone else.It may also be a matter of conversation to discuss what makes you happy together and use those positive moments to help move through more difficult ones.
Topic: depression

Question: I'm seriously unhappy with everything in my life but I know I don't have any reason to feel this way
I can't even smile or fake one. I can't feel happiness about anything and I can't show love towards another person not even my girlfriend. I hate myself sometimes. All I see is ugly.
   I can't get over the loss of a loved one and I'm not close to my family. What can I do?

Answer (from Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide):
Did
this begin around the time you suffered the loss of your loved one? You have my
deepest condolences.  Perhaps the grief
around that is what is the root of your being unhappy.
Topic: intimacy

Question: Why won't my boyfriend have sex with me?

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Your question is very meaningful to your relationship.And, the possible reasons are endless.It is definitely a topic which affects both of you.  You need to gently ask your boyfriend this question directly.  How you ask, how he answers and the discussion or lack of discussion which follows, will show a lot about the comfort you each feel being with each other and what conditions would improve the sex life.Medical rule out is always the first consideration.Before addressing in detail any topics of trust, care, love, ways to express oneself sexually, your boyfriend needs to know that here isn't some physical problem preventing him from having sex w you.If he is told by his doctor that there is no medical reason, then the two of you are free to talk about why he stops himself from having sex with you.
Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: How would I know if I have the right therapist?
How do you know you have the right therapist for you?
 How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment?

Answer (from Tracey PoirrierPolaris Counseling & Consulting Services PLLC ):
The therapeutic relationship should be collaborative.  The client is the expert on their life, and the therapist is the expert on helping the client to develop their sense of being. Growth occurs as a result of challenges. Therefore, I would suggest not looking to train the therapist, but rather to find one that will help you develop into the you that you desire to be. Finding the right therapist is like finding a pair of black heels. Not just any black heels will do. But when you find them, you just know that your search is over. It is also wise to expect that they won’t always feel comfortable.
Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: How would I know if I have the right therapist?
How do you know you have the right therapist for you?
 How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment?

Answer (from Zach LeezerIt's hard to live a happy life if you constantly bully yourself. You would never dream of calling your loved ones "failure," "worthless," or "incompetent," yet you call yourself those things every day. Let's talk about that.):
Studies show that the most important determinant of success in therapy is the quality of the relationship between therapist and client. It is very important that you find the right therapist for you. If you feel that your therapist understands you, doesn't judge you, or is someone you can trust, these are all good signs that you have found the right therapist for you. It may take a few sessions for you to know whether you're in the right place or not, but if you decide it isn't working for you, there is no shame in telling your therapist. We want you to get the care you need, and we know we can't be the right fit for everyone.
Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: How would I know if I have the right therapist?
How do you know you have the right therapist for you?
 How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment?

Answer (from Francesca Steele MS, LMHC, CHTsoulspeak wellness florida, inc.):
Choosing the right therapist can sometimes feel a bit overwhelming. I know many people come to therapy with hesitations and potential fears but a therapist should be there to help you along the way and support you as you build a trusting and collaborative relationship. You won't have to "train" your therapist to give you what you need. Through open dialogue and feedback you and your therapist, together, can determine what works best for you. But do remember that being able to trust your therapist to guide and support you is key. So if you're having a hard time connecting with your therapist after 3-4 sessions, you will want to bring it up to them so you can discuss any barriers and if needed, request a referral for another therapist.