thejana/Elective_dataset huggingface dataset:
Topic: professional-ethics

Question: How does counseling end?
How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client?

Answer (from Vivian D. Echevarria Guzman, MSC, LPC-S, NCCBilingual Licensed Professional Counselor):
To be able to identify a clear ending to a counseling relationship, we must have a clear understanding of the goals and limitations of treatment.  Usually, during the initial evaluation, I identify my client’s short term and long term therapy goals.  As therapy progress, we verify goals on a monthly to a quarterly basis, depending on the frequency of the appointments.  Once the therapy goals have been met, there is a closing session, the counseling relationship is ended, and the client can stop attending sessions.  In some cases, the client can also establish new goals and determine if I am a good fit for their therapy needs or if they need a new provider, in which case I provide multiple referrals.The counseling relationship could also end due to other factors like noncompliance= when a client is not committed to the agreed treatment process, or when the client’s or a counselor violates the counseling relationship.  Either the counselor or the client is able to end counseling.  Although, as mental health providers we need to provide a reason for terminating our therapeutic relationship and referral options, as a client no explanation is needed, a closing session is highly recommended.  ¿Cómo termina la terapia?¿Cómo un consejero decide cuando terminar las sesiones de consejería o terminar de trabajar con un paciente?Para poder determinar el final de la relación del consejero, debemos comprender las metas y parámetros de la terapia.  Usualmente durante la evaluación inicial se identifican metas a corto y largo plazo con el cliente, y se discute con el cliente como esas metas serán alcanzadas.  Durante el proceso de terapia el consejero revisa las metas mensual o trimestralmente dependiendo de la frecuencia de las citas.  Ya que las metas de terapia son alcanzadas, hay una sesión de cierre y el cliente puede terminar la terapia.   En algunos casos el cliente puede identificar nuevas metas para la terapia y determinar si el mismo consejero u otro consejero le pueden asistir. 
La relación de consejería también puede terminar por no conformar o violentar los parámetros  establecidos para la terapia.   Tanto el consejero como el cliente pueden terminar la relación de terapia.  Como proveedores de salud mental los consejeros estamos obligados a proveer un razón para la conclusión del tratamiento y proveer referidos según aplique, los clientes no necesitan proveer una explicación, aunque es recomendable discutirlo en una sesión de cierre.
Topic: trauma

Question: How can I get therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder without any money or insurance?

Answer (from Candice Conroy, LMHCFind relief from anxiety, depression, and trauma.):
Depending on where you are located, you may want to consider calling 2-1-1. It is a resource hotline that can help provide you with referrals for therapists or clinics in your area who may offer pro-bono services. When going through the list of referrals they provide you with, you can call around and see what types of treatment they offer for PTSD and make a list so you can do your own research before deciding what you think will be the best fit for you. There are several different types of trauma therapy, but some of the most common include cognitive processing therapy and EMDR in case you'd like to research them and get more information.
Topic: intimacy

Question: Should I get a divorce?
I have cheated on my husband of five years roughly ten times. I pretend we aren't married at my work. Recently, he has caught on, but I lie to cover it. He use to talk to girls online, but I have caught myself constantly having a affair.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Whether to divorce or not depends on your reasoning to do so.Marriage is its own unique existence dependent on what the partners want from it.Examine your terms of satisfaction from the marriage.Maybe you have very clear reasons to continue the marriage.Maybe you don’t.Only you can decide if what you’re contributing and benefitting is satisfying enough to stay.
Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: How does counseling help people?
Does counseling really do anything that can help people?

Answer (from Vivian D. Echevarria Guzman, MSC, LPC-S, NCCBilingual Licensed Professional Counselor):
Experts have defined counseling as a healing relationship that helps patients by providing a space to vent, process and receive unconditional support.  Many of my clients have expressed that they are able to find their own answers during the session, because they have the right person listening to them.  Some thought they were safe sharing their concerns with friends or relatives who are good listeners, but later they felt ashamed or guilty about what they shared.  So why people should share private issues with a Counselor (a stranger)?  Confidentiality is the key word.  A good counseling relationship should provide a space where people are able to share their deepest thoughts and feelings, allowing themselves to be vulnerable and explore those emotions that are difficult to share without implications.  Beyond the ability to provide a safe place, counselors are trained to identify symptoms and behavioral patterns, and can provide insight on how develop coping mechanisms to improve their life.I am a License Professional Counselor working on a private practice in Puerto Rico: Latitude Counseling, and also I’m licensed in Texas, where I provide theletherapy services.  If you would like to learn more about the services available, you may call 787-466-5478 or visit www.latitudecounseling.com¿Cómo la consejería ayuda a las personas?¿Realmente la consejería hace algo para ayudar a otros?Expertos definen la consejería como una relación sanadora que ayuda a los pacientes proveyéndoles un espacio para ventilar, procesar y recibir apoyo incondicional.  Algunos de mis clientes han expresado que son capaces de encontrar las respuestas a sus problemas durante la sesión de consejería, porque tiene a la persona indicada escuchándolos.   Otros cuentan que se sentian seguros compartiendo sus preocupaciones con su familia o amigos, pero esas preocupaciones afectaron sus relaciones negativamente, o los dejaron con sentimientos de culpa. Así que, ¿Por qué deben las personas compartir asuntos privados con consejero, (un extraño)?  Confidencialidad es la clave.  Una buena relación de consejería debe proveer un espacio donde las personas puedan compartir sus más íntimos pensamientos y sentimientos, permitiéndoles ser vulnerables y explorar esas emociones que son difíciles de compartir sin consecuencias. Mas allá de proveer un espacio seguro, lo consejeros profesionales estamos entrenados para identificar síntomas, patrones de conducta, y proveer perspectiva en cómo desarrollar los mecanismos de defensa necesarios para mejorar la calidad de vida.Soy Consejera Profesional Licenciada en Puerto Rico, donde practico a través de Latitdue Counseling, también estoy licenciada en Texas, donde proveo servicios de teleterapia.  Para más información llame al 787-466-5478 o visite www.latitudecounseling.com
Topic: relationships

Question: How can I deal with a “crush” in a relationship?
I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for just over a year. This past week she admitted to me that she has feelings for another guy. She says it’s “just a crush” but I don't know how to cope with it.    How should I deal with this?

Answer (from Zofia Czajkowska, PhD OPQPsychologist in Montreal):
Hi! It sounds like you are stuck in a difficult place. You do not want to appear to jealous and yet, it's hard not to be, when you hear about "the crush". It's only natural to feel a little insecure and you're doing a great job by asking how to cope better. First of all, long-distance relationships are very hard. Is this situation likely to continue for a long period of time? The old adage that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" simply isn't true. It requires a lot of work to keep the fire burning. Are you, guys, talking to each other a lot? Visiting each other relatively often? Making common plans for those visits or your future together? Do you manage to have fun together, despite the distance (e.g., laugh on the phone, have "shared" experiences such as watching a movie simultaneously at your different locations, perhaps having phone sex)? All of the above are good ways to ensure that your bond stays strong and there will be less space left for interest in other people. Based on the fact that  your girlfriend told you about the crush t I would guess that she thinks it's innocent enough - nothing too threatening. Try to talk to her about your feelings and brainstorm together ways you can increase your intimacy, which will likely improve your sense of security in the relationship but also help her get over the crush. Good luck! Zofia
Topic: lgbtq

Question: How do I know what my sexual orientation is?
I'm a girl, and I can't tell whether I'm bisexual or gay. I like girls a little more than boys, but I don't really know.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
I think longevity has a lot to do with arriving at a clear answer.Its ok to not know and while you don't know, read, join groups which discuss the topic, and most valuable, pay attention to the way you actually feel around girls, how being approached and approaching girls feels, and whether this feels about the same as when you are around boys.Eventually the question will answer itself.Try to avoid deciding a conclusion until your heart feels ready to tell you a clear answer.
Topic: family-conflict

Question: How can I get over my mom and her girlfriend's breakup?
They broke up recently. She was a huge part of my life.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
The possible pathways for you depend on whether you'd be wiling to be straightforward with both your mom and her gf about your own emotions about their breakup.Start by talking with your mom, because she has the more potent and the more long term relationship meaning in your life.Open the conversation as your genuine need for a positive settlement to the end of their relationship.Depending on the outcome of the talk with your mom, come to your own conclusion as to whether you'd like to find ways to maintain some level of connection to the ex gf.Holiday and birthday cards, occasional emails with the person, may feel supportive for you.Once you have some idea of your preferences for contact or not, and what type, then speak with the ex gf to find out her reaction to how open she is to your remedies.At the very least, you will have done a thorough job in examining what is possible for your own relationship with each one.
Topic: anxiety

Question: How can I wake up without having an anxiety attack?
I have these dreams of men, and they always seem to try to hurt me. It's gotten so bad that I first wake at 4:30, then 4:45, and finally stay awake by 6:00. I'm always the last one to fall asleep and the first to wake. I hate falling asleep. The longest I've went without sleep is three days.

Answer (from Jennifer GerlachYour Story Matters):
That is awful! I am sure you are ready to start getting some rest. It's normal for us to wake a few times in the night, however, when we are dealing with high anxiety or stress, those times can turn into being up most night. Given that you are having these repeated dreams, I am wondering what might be going on in your life either now  or in the past that could be triggering stress or maybe memories. It can help to draw the dream out in the morning or even to look for metaphor. In the long run, seeking counseling can help you sort all that outIn the meantime, self-soothing strategies may help you in the night when you wake and can't get back to sleep. This can be anything with your senses----getting a snack like tea and focusing on that taste, smelling something pleasant, listening to some relaxing music, looking through a magazine, taking a shower. Anything you can think of that might help you relax. If it involves needing to get up, that's okay! Getting out of bed can actually help you get out of that mind space and helps you associate your bed with relaxation/sleep vs anxiety making it more likely you will fall asleep once  you lay down.
Topic: anxiety

Question: How can I learn to be content and at peace?
I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself.
    I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation.
   How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

Answer (from Natalie Moore | Holistic Therapy🛋 For creative, ambitious millennials):
It sounds to me like you would benefit from mindfulness practice and self-compassion practice. What is mindfulness?Mindfulness, in short, is the practice of bringing a non-judgmental awareness to the present moment. This meditative tradition stems from Buddhism and was brought to the West by Zen teachers who made them more accessible for Westerners. If you’ve ever taken a yoga class or played a guided meditation wherein you were encouraged to focus on your breath without changing it, feel the sensations on your skin and bring awareness to tension in your body, you’ve practiced mindfulness.What is self-compassion? We often hear about self-esteem as something we need to increase for optimal mental health. The problem with self-esteem is that it ebbs and flows based on external factors – such as if you have a good job or if you have a romantic relationship. A much better place to put your energy into is developing self-compassion, which is being kind to yourself no matter what your circumstances look like. Over time, self-compassion acts as the building blocks for self-love, which no one or nothing can take away from you. Why develop these practices? When you can practice mindfulness and self-compassion in tandem, then you bring more acceptance and understanding to your life circumstances instead of judging yourself for not having the perfect life. I hope this is helpful and I wish you all the best. If you’re interested in this type of approach a holistic therapist can help you learn these tools and put them into daily practice.
Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: What happens in a counseling session?
After first meeting the client, what is the process that a counselor facilitates?

Answer (from Dr Traci KochendorferTime for you to " Claim IT" with over 15 years in health and wellness, Ph.D Psy.D D.D. F.P.L.C. recognized on TV and Magazines,):
Weeks 1-2: Intros and NormsYour facilitator  or counselor will establish rapport norms and guide you in building a sense of connection through getting to know each other exercises (not boring ice breakers, these are actually fun). You should of probably filled out intake forms and what you are asking of the counselor. We may ask you to share:A personal strength and weakness.Highs and lows of your week.A misconception people have about you.
Topic: anxiety

Question: How can I get over my fear of public embarrassment?
A lot of times, I avoid situations where I am to meet new people because I have a fear of embarrassing myself. I often avoid large groups of people, like parties, because I think they all constantly judge me.

Answer (from Robin Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCCMental Health in a Primary Care Setting):
Hello, and thank you for your question. First, I want you to know that you are certainly not alone on this issue. Everyone, at some point in time, has a fear of public embarrassment. But for many people, this fear can become so awful that it begins to have a real negative impact on their quality of life.  They will try to avoid any situation that they even THINK will cause them embarrassment or anxiety. Escaping a possible embarrassing moment by avoiding or isolating may cause some relief at first, but then many times the avoidance will eventually lead to loneliness, isolation, and even despair. By avoiding, we can also miss out on things that make us feel alive and bring enjoyment. There are many self-help books that offer advice on this issue. You can do an internet search, and I recommend reading the reviews of the book. That is  great way to find out if others have found the book helpful. Another option is to seek a counselor to help you with this fear. I would recommend a counselor who specializes in helping people who have anxiety or social anxiety. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is  a good choice for helping with anxiety, but there are many others. The truth is that anxiety and fear of embarrassing ourselves is not something that any of us will ever "get over", but we can learn to respond to those feelings differently. A colleague may offer some other advice, as well.. Be wellRobin Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC
Topic: intimacy

Question: Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?
My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me.    I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?

Answer (from Marissa TalaricoSex and Relationship counseling):
As a relationship therapist I work with couples all the time that are in the repair phase of their relationship after infidelity. The short answer to this, is not only is it possible to have a satisfying and fullfilling relationship after infidelity, it happens more often that we may know. The current rate of infidelity is high, while it's not important to go into many reasons, it mau be important to know you aren't alone in this! My biggest suggestion for you would be to seek out a professional counselor that specializes in working with couples healing from infidelity. Best of luck!
Topic: anxiety

Question: I'm worried about my new job
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Answer (from Dr Traci KochendorferTime for you to " Claim IT" with over 15 years in health and wellness, Ph.D Psy.D D.D. F.P.L.C. recognized on TV and Magazines,):
ask them what they mean by that?  You're not alone. 1 in 13 globally suffers from anxiety. The WHO reports that anxiety disorders are the most common mental disorders worldwide. - Anxiety and Depression Association of America Immediate relief1. Get a hug from a loved one2. Enjoy aromatherapy3. Create artworkI am sending you one NOW 🤗
Topic: relationship-dissolution

Question: I’ve been separated from my husband for six months and he still has not filed for divorce
My husband and I got into a huge dispute. He said he wanted a divorce, and I left. I still come home a lot and see my kids, and he has not filed yet even though he still said he is. What does that mean for our marriage?

Answer (from Analyce Zapata-BarnesI'm here to help!):
In situations like this, in most cases, he probably will not fill anytime soon. It's more of the fact that he isn't ready to give that life yet... Now if you probably pressured him about it then yes, he would probably give in.. But if it hasn't been a big issue anymore or something you guys aren't talking about, then right now.. Everything is on a hold.
Topic: relationships

Question: Why do my boyfriend and I have such trouble communicating?
We’ve been together almost three years. We argue and he ends it by telling me he doesn’t love me. It's hurtful because I am all about resolving the problem, and he dwells on the issue even if I drop what he's done and just swallow my pride and say I am sorry. How can this be resolved? We have kids, and I don't want a broken family because we can't communicate.

Answer (from Dr. Avraham CohenDepth work with individuals and relationships):
Under duress the very youngest parts of you and your boyfriend emerge. So, while you still look like grown ups, your actions and words are motivated by very early preverbal parts of both of you. In simple terms it is as if two infants somehow acquire the ability to say words but they are motivated by very basic early wounds that were created due to deficits in what was able to be done for each of you, and likely understandable in terms of caregiver's life experience, and that still fell short of what you needed. You are both still trying to get very early needs met. The best advice I can offer is to try and remember this as early as possible when things start to heat up, and then restrain expression that you already know leads nowhere helpful. And seek out a therapist who can help you to work with these early issues and can support you to grow and develop from this stuck point.Avraham Cohen, Ph.D, R.C.C., C.C.C.
Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: How would I know if I have the right therapist?
How do you know you have the right therapist for you?
 How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment?

Answer (from Alexandr Philip):
Topic: family-conflict

Question: How can I avoid family members who stress me out?
My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining, but I don't want to hear it anymore.

Answer (from Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals):
This sounds stressful.You mentioned that you want to learn how to avoid them. I'm not sure whether you want to avoid them overall or if you would like to ask your mom to maybe only talk to you about it for a few minutes about your niece in each conversation that you have.Maybe you can connect your mom with some support. It sounds as if she has lost part of herself and/or is very stressed out and in talking with you about it because she trusts you enough for you to be someone she can speak openly, you are becoming stressed because of things that you cannot directly change. This is the presumptive based on the amount of information that you posted, but it sounds like there is a bit of a circle of stress here.I also wonder who you could talk with when you are stressed.It may be helpful to see a local mental health professional to help redefine some boundaries so you can have the type of relationship with your mother that you want without necessarily feeling stressed out by it every day.
Topic: intimacy

Question: I feel completely alone in my marriage
I have been married for 11 years. Within the past 2 years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has "friends" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?

Answer (from David RouttPresident and Clinical Counselor at Totius Therapies):
Communication opens up what is called "cognitive space" for your partner, and allows them to do the same for you. The more you know about each other, especially your everyday lives, creates a bond between the two of you. Much like the saying goes in the military, the same is true for a couple; "Complacency Kills". It is important for both of you to invest in each other on a regular basis. I regularly recommend that both of you take the 5 Love Languages Assessment and start using each other's top love languages to help show each other the positive affection that you feel (or at least want to feel) for one another. Start asking about your husband's day, trying to learn about all the interactions that he has at work, and feel free to ask questions so that he knows you really want to know about him, and know him intimately again.