Topic: anxiety

Question: Overcoming fears
I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do?

Answer (from Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor):
I think it's super brave to want to face your fears, so you are already moving in a great direction!No matter if your fear is something rational (e.g., fear of spiders), or something that seems irrational (e.g., fear of clocks), there is always a reason your brain has considered the thing you fear to be a threat.  Having a fear of spiders makes sense because in evolutionary terms, we need to fear things that could harm us.  On the other hand, fearing clocks may seem irrational without context; however, if you experienced something traumatic while listening to the ticking of a clock throughout the event, your brain may equate clocks with danger.  The reason for this is clear in much of the neuroscience research we have available.  In our brains we have amygdalae, which are basically just the "watch dogs" of the brain.  They are incredibly good at scanning our environment for any threats, whether or not we perceive those threats as rational because this part of the brain does not operate via logic--and it shouldn't.  If we sense danger because there's a bear in our presence, we don't need logic to survive--we need to just respond in ways that keep us safe.  If something really terrifying happens to us, our brains burn that all that information into the amygdalae, including any peripheral information.  This is why we can fear things that really aren't innately scary, like clocks.Moving through something you fear isn't easy.  It can be very emotionally difficult and feel pretty awful.  The good news is working with fears is one of the most researched areas of psychology and there are many evidence-based techniques that can help.One of the best techniques for changing the brain's response is exposure.  This technique involves exposing yourself, little by little, to the very thing you fear.  The reason this is so effective is because the amygdalae can only learn via experience.  If you avoid what you fear, that teaches your brain that that object or situation is dangerous, and over time that only strengthens the fear.  Conversely, if you expose yourself to something you fear and sit through a full fear response, eventually your anxiety returns to your baseline which sends the message that the object or situation is not dangerous.To begin with exposure, first it's important to have some mindfulness techniques built up.  This can be deep breathing, muscle tension/relaxation, etc.  It's important to know that this is in place for relaxation, not to distract from the exposure process because you really want to feel that anxiety to "wake up" the amygdalae--your brain can't learn a new response if you distract from the anxiety.  There's countless videos and recordings on youtube, as well as apps like Calm or Headspace that can teach some of those techniques.Next you can create a fear hierarchy.  Start with things connected to your fear that serve as triggers, but don't completely overwhelm you.  For example, if you have a fear of spiders you may start with pictures of spiders, then videos, then fake plastic spiders, seeing a spider in person, and finally touching a spider (non-poisonous).  This is a very simple list--some people have many, many triggers associated with their fears and that's normal.  When you have your list, you can scale each trigger by how much anxiety it gives you.  So on a scale from 1-100, if seeing pictures of spiders puts you at a 60, then your goal for that part of the hierarchy is to cut it in half to 30 (meaning you cut your anxiety in half).  Sometimes this can take multiple exposures with the same trigger, though exposure is very powerful and tends to be a much quicker process than most people think.  I know this is a lot of information to take in and I hope it all makes sense!  It's not all you can do, but it's so effective.  And of course it is best when you are getting assistance from a counselor (if you feel that you need that kind of support).  A counselor would be able to actually do some in-session mindfulness and exposure techniques with you (depending on the fear) to help prepare you for doing it on your own.