thejana/Elective_dataset huggingface dataset:
Topic: anxiety

Question: How can I be less stressed out?
I shake and have panic attacks.

Answer (from Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor):
So glad you are reaching out.  Panic attacks are very frightening.For some reason (and I promise there is one) your brain is sending off false alarms even though you are probably safe.  This is called the fight or flight response and part of the body's way of fighting off perceived threats (including those that are not genuinely dangerous).Some reasons people have panic attacks is if they are under too much emotional or physical stress, any type of exhaustion or lack of sleep, history of trauma, unprocessed emotions, etc.  You don't have to know why you are having panic attacks to work with them, but it can help to understand its origins and target them at the source.Something to know is that the presence of anxiety does not mean you are in any danger, no matter how much your body is elevated.  Anxiety is just our body's way of letting us know something is off, though it often exaggerates the response because it doesn't always operate from a place of logic.  Triggers could be as small as a word, smell, time of day, or really anything.  Triggers can also be physical sensations inside our bodies.  Though panic attacks are very scary and feel incredibly uncomfortable, they will not kill you.What message might your body be sending you via panic attacks?  Is there any area of your life you could step away from at all to give yourself some relief?  If you pay attention to when panic attacks happen, that could clue you into what is setting off that false alarm.Some apps that are really great for relaxation and use breathing techniques are Calm, Headspace, PanicShield, etc.  Try some out and see which ones really fit for your needs.  Breathing is a great tool because you always have it right there with you and it's something you can control when it feels like your body is out of control.
Topic: anxiety

Question: I feel really uncomfortable around other people
When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared.
   I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people.    I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

Answer (from Fred RogersQue Sera Sera Counseling ):
Social anxiety is a type of anxiety disorders and you need to consult a mental health professional.
Topic: intimacy

Question: How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?
My husband and I have been married for seven years, and in that time, we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly, I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband.

Answer (from Viktoria IvanovaYou are a warrior! Every day you wake and face the excitement and challenges of the world. At times, we all need a guide to get us through the tough times on our life journey. Together, we will decipher mysteries of life. ):
Hi there, Thank you for your openness about the challenge you are experiencing in your relationship. Sexual intimacy is an important part of many people's life, but how much importance is placed on it varies from couple to couple. The first step would be to have an open conversation with your husband. It's important you are both open about what you desire from sexual intimacy and how much intimacy each one of you wants. For example, asking your husband how often does he want to have sex/ week or /month. When having this conversation, it's important that you are both respectful and open with each other. The point of the conversation is to get to know each other and not to solve a problem, yet. There are couples who enjoy fulfilling platonic/friendship relationships with minimal or no sex because both partners are not interested in it. If you are both on the same page - lack of sex might not be a problem. If there is a difference in your sex drive and frequency of desire, I would recommend seeing a professional relationship & sex therapist as a couple to help you explore your current sexual dynamic, what's creating it, what's getting in a way of connecting sexually and to assist you and your husband in finding creative solutions.
Topic: parenting

Question: I think my daughter is stressing too much
When my daughter is stressed about a silly thing from school, she starts crying and freaking out. She is a bright student, always has a 4.0, but I am afraid she is stressing too much. I’m afraid it’s going to break her. I don't know if I should get her to a doctor or someone because this is not normal.

Answer (from Dr Traci KochendorferTime for you to " Claim IT" with over 15 years in health and wellness, Ph.D Psy.D D.D. F.P.L.C. recognized on TV and Magazines,):
She could be an empath or dealing with imbalances in her energy field from all the pressure.Very little info on her date of birth.  Outside evaluation to help her see or direct her on Who you can become is a great start .  you can check out my services and test you can order for her.
Topic: legal-regulatory

Question: Can I go see a psychiatrist without my dad finding out, even if I am on his insurance?

Answer (from Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor):
It might be possible, but it's difficult. First,  depending on how old you are, you might be able to restrict  a  mentalhealth  provider from disclosing your confidential information to your parents. The age at which you can do this is different from state to state (the range is generally anything from age 13 to age 18)  Second, even if you are old enough to to be able to tell your provider not to give any information to your parents, they will probably find out if you use their insurance. It seems like you might have a few options. You might want to try talking to your dad about seeing a psychiatrist. He might be supportive. You could also try talking to a counselor or nurse at your school. They could also help you find some confidential options. I hope this helps.
Topic: depression

Question: Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone?
I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
   I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
   How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone?

Answer (from Susan HaberkornOnline Christian Counseling for Women):
You are exhibiting some specific traits of a particular temperament type. Seek out a counselor who provides NCCA temperament therapy and discover the joy of being you -- God loves you as you are!
Topic: depression

Question: Is it possible to get PTSD from being very depressed?
I have manic depression and last summer was very very bad. I have recurring nightmares and I avoid anything that will give me a similar feeling as I did that summer.

Answer (from Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor):
In general, the answer is no. Depression can not not generally cause PTSD. Your question does make a lot of sense, though. Depression is a common symptom of PTSD. A counselor in your area should be able to help you what's going on - either feelings of depression, PTSD, or both.
Topic: parenting

Question: Does my daughter have a mental disability?
My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines.

Answer (from Rachelle MillerMental health therapist, parent educator, life coach):
It sounds like it might be worth asking the school for an evaluation to determine whether your daughter has any learning disabilities such as dysgraphia or dyslexia or seek an evaluation through an educational neuropsychologist.  I would also suggest having her vision checked by a developmental optometrist.
Topic: marriage

Question: I'm disgusted by my own fetish
I have an overwhelming desire to watch my wife have sex with another man. I talked to her about it, and she said she will do it for me. The idea excites me to no end, but I don’t want to because it disgusts me. How can I stop wanting it, or should I just give into it and do it? I’ve been struggling for years with this. It won’t go away. By the way, I am in my mid 30s and my wife is in her mid 40s.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Try to understand your own ambivalence to having your wish fulfilled.Since you and your wife are in a relationship, the sex she will have with another man will affect emotions in both you and your wife.I suggest you and her prepare emotionally before you both go ahead with the sexual arrangement,By anticipating any jealousy or feeling helpless or out of control, or in control, since it's your wish being fulfilled, all the feelings you and her are able to expect, you'll be more prepared for the actual emotions from the episode, which may also resolve your conflicted feelings about creating the event.There are a lot of unknowns in the situation you're considering.  Having your partner, who will be key in satisfying your sex wish, be active in understanding these unknowns, is a good way of keeping your relationship strong overall.
Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: How does counseling help people?
Does counseling really do anything that can help people?

Answer (from Ian Palombo#ThoughtMediator & #LifeUntangler):
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an effective therapy for everyday struggles, as well as depression, anxiety, substance use, eating disorders, and many others. And all of our expert therapists at Denver Mental Health Collective are trained in CBT. Very simply, CBT is designed around the belief that emotions are hard to change directly. So, we target the emotions by changing thoughts and behaviors that contribute to distressing emotions.Does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Work?CBT is evidenced-based and its effectiveness is proven. In brief, an article published in the journal Cognitive Therapy and Research says:“The evidence-base of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is very strong.” (1) “CBT is as effective as, or more effective than, other forms of psychological therapy or psychiatric medications. (2)”What Does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Involve? Simply, your therapist will encourage you to think about your life in new ways. And CBT will help you recognize ineffective habits and teach you how to change them.And then CBT will help you examine the way your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors all contribute to the problems you experience. Finally, you’ll learn specific skills and techniques for coping with problems more effectively and changing your habits.What Are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Skills?Packed with exercises and skills, CBT will help you put an end to the negative thoughts. A Denver Mental Health Collective therapist will help you reconnect with life using the following skills:Turn Off Self-Defeating ThoughtsChange Negative Core BeliefsPractice Stress ReductionLearn New Problem Solving SkillsUse Assertive Communication SkillsPractice Coping Imagery and SkillsLearn to Face Fearful SituationsIs CBT Right For You?CBT is an excellent fit if any of these describe you:You struggle with anxiety or depressionIt feels difficult to control your behaviorLow self-esteem is undermining your relationshipsYou’d love a break from destructive thoughtsYou wish to create a more balanced lifeYou feel generally stressed or angryAs difficult as these challenges are, you are not alone.In fact, you are capable of learning new thinking patterns. And reducing daily stress. And and putting a stop to destructive thoughts. As a result, you’ll gain a better understanding of your thoughts, and your behaviors can start to change. In the same way, a better understanding of your thoughts and beliefs will begin to reflect the reality around you. Together, we can help you gain a more positive self-image.Of course, you might not be quite ready to schedule. So, here are some links to some helpful information:https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioralhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3584580/http://cogbtherapy.com/how-effective-is-cbt-compared-to-other-treatments
Topic: depression

Question: How can I be happy again?
At school, it feels like I've lost all my friends, and I've been really weird with my sleeping patterns. I used to cut myself, and I really want to again, but I change in the locker rooms because I don’t want anybody to see. I get ticked off easy and overreact. At night, I’m very depressed and listen to sad music and all that sort of stuff. Please help me. I just want to be happy again, and I feel like I’m starting to fake a smile at school.

Answer (from Cimberly R. NeskerRegistered Psychotherapist (3579)):
As silly as it may sound, making sure that we are getting the right amount of *restful* sleep is very important when we are feeling low.  The reason for this is the lack of proper sleep significantly affects our ability to problem solve and critically evaluate our situation and can lead to a domino effect in our thinking.  I know you feel that you may be losing your friendships, but what are the facts that have led to this belief? Really ask yourself, "are they facts?" or are they your perspective on events.  In regards to your coping behaviours at night, it sounds very isolating and also very silenced.  As opposed to the sad music, why not try all music, allowing yourself to experience the wide breadth of emotions that are circling within you.  One of the other recommendations I would make would be to try and journal about some of those thoughts and fears in order to release them in a positively cathartic way. Some of the behaviours that you have mentioned are a bit more significant, though and I would recommend speaking with someone directly in the near future.
Topic: family-conflict

Question: How can I avoid family members who stress me out?
My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining, but I don't want to hear it anymore.

Answer (from Carmy Howard, LMHC, DCCChange is possible one session at a time):
This sounds very stressful.  Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind.  If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step.  Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward.  Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent.  Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries.  That may mean not picking up your phone for each call.  Soon enough the message will be clear.  Good luck.
Topic: addiction

Question: The organization I work for has told me I cannot go to my 12 step meetings
This is my recovery, and I don't feel that it is okay for them to ask this. They told me it is policy due to the fact that I may run into a peer there. I am a peer counselor in the small community that I grew up in. I am in recovery myself. I was asked to come work for this organization after I was two years sober (I was in treatment in this organization). I work with mental health peers and run life skill groups. I don't work with substance peers.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Seems you would benefit more from legal guidance than from therapist advice.For example, I imagine policy must be presented in writing to the prospective employee prior to signing a contract of employment.If you were not  given in writing the organization's policy of employees not being permitted to attend meetings, then I doubt the organization can hold you accountable for policy which you never were informed existed.There are workplace rules and regulations which your matter may be protected by.Since attorney fees are high, first look on your state's website for any agency your state government has which monitors employee rights in the workplace on being informed on policy.If you are in the right, as to having the right to not follow policy about which you never were told, then the next point to consider is whether or not to take any action based on your finding.Being legally in the right doesn't guarantee your workplace will be happy to accept they are wrong.The next step is to consider your own peace of mind working for an organization which essentially believes violating your civil right to free association, is ok.You may decide on a longer term plan on leaving this place.  Usually when an employer does wrong in one area, they are also doing wrong in other areas of the workplace.
Topic: relationships

Question: Should I message my crush?
I have had a crush on this guy for years. I last talked to him a few years ago when we graduated from high school. We left off on a good note. Should I message him and see how he is doing, or is it too late?

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
You'll only find out whether or not it is "too late", by following through with wanting to message him.Regardless of whether the response you receive is what you'd hoped to hear, including not hearing back from him, you will have done yourself a great honor and respect by following through on a wish and curiosity you've had for some time.
Topic: behavioral-change

Question: How do I stop sneaking away from home at night?
I'm a teenager and I've been sneaking out of my house at night for a year now. I've been caught several times. I want to stop doing this but I don't know where to start. How do I stop?

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Where do you go and what is your reason to go wherever this is?Try to understand these reasons because the answers may give you good guidance as to other ways to get what   it is your trying to reach by sneaking from your home at night.If for example, you're sneaking out because your parents are arguing and you feel hurt by this and want to escape hearing their arguments, then you can come up with other ways to hear less of their arguments.If you sneak out bc your parents restrict your friends or time to socialize with your friends, and your friends are doing legal and safe behaviors, then maybe you could do some socializing online w them.Also, I wonder the reason why either of your parents isn't aware that you leave the house.  Do you feel your parent would offer and would you ask your parent to give their suggestions so you feel more motivated to stay home?
Topic: depression

Question: How can I stop feeling sad at my mother's passing over a year ago?

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
I'm sorry for your mother's passing on.Feeling sad to lose someone who mattered very much to you, is normal.  Even crying on occasions you recall specific times with her, or on holidays and birthdays, is normal.  I'm glad you're aware of your feelings.The only reason to be concerned about your sadness regarding your mother's passing, is if you are so sad that the sadness stops you from doing other activities in your life.If you are able to feel, sad, recall both good and not so good memories about your mom, the times you had with her and life lessons you learned through her, and carry on with your usual activities, then feel free to know you are someone who is aware of their feelings.If you're staying in bed most of the day, eating and sleeping poorly, not going to work or taking care of your house and household, because your sad feelings are flooding your life, then consider a professional, credentialed and licensed therapist who can help you grow stronger within yourself while finding a place in your heart for memories of mom.Good luck!
Topic: parenting

Question: What can I do about my children blaming me for their addictions?
I have three children: a biological daughter, a stepdaughter, and a stepson. I found out my stepdaughter overdosed today. My daughter blames me. I told her to stay out of it. I'm scared of all three kids now. They all blame me for their choices they made. All three have drug addictions. I had a stroke in 2013 so I need to depend on people from now on.

Answer (from 2nd Chance Counseling Service Online Addiction Therapy ProviderConvenient Online Addiction Therapy ):
Blaming others is one of our greatest coping mechanisms.  It is not just for addiction, and often we blame the ones closest to us.  You can not stop them from blaming you, you can stop yourself for taking on the burden.  We are all in charge of the choices we make.  No one makes us do something other than our self.  We choose how we internalize and react to situations.  I would find a good therapist who understands family dynamics and addiction to help you cope with your current environment and help you move forward.
Topic: relationships

Question: How do I fix my relationship?
My boyfriend is in recovery from drug addiction. We recently got into a fight and he has become very distant. I don't know what to do to fix the relationship.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
I'm sorry you have tension between you and your bf.A relationship means two people who relate, right?!   If only one person does all the work to change their approach, what they expect, what they offer the other, then this becomes the new problem to solve.If you've already done a significant amount of reflection and change in the way you relate to him, then the next step may be to be patient as long as possible while he decides what to change about his part in the relationship toward you.Substance abuse recovery requires profound effort and reflection.  If it is successful then the result will show very different qualities in your bf than the ones you know currently.He may be so absorbed in the recovery that he can only concentrate on this.   Of course if the fights persist and you have been patient for what feels too long, then there are different questions to address.
Topic: family-conflict

Question: No matter what I do, my mom will almost always find something wrong with it
My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic, silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry, but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn’t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?

Answer (from Stella OsemwegieSay yes to moving forward in spite of . . . ):
You have the answer already. It is not your mom's fault. Always remember that in spite of the disease, that human being you call mom is still there. To cope with the feelings of frustration, anger, and guilt, practice accepting what is at this time. Bring peace to these feelings and commit to move on to provide your mom love. If you can, use mindfulness meditation to stay focus and calm your brain.