thejana/Elective_dataset huggingface dataset:
Topic: anxiety

Question: I feel really uncomfortable around other people
When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared.
   I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people.    I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

Answer (from JOSH MARLAR):
You are not alone.  Lots of people are uncomfortable around other people and especially in large crowds.  In therapy, I would want to know more about your feelings with people you ARE close to such as family, friends, or coworkers, how long you've had these feelings, and if there are times when other people are fine.  Sometimes this type of feeling can be traced to specific experiences and that's where I would start.  Counseling could help you find the root of these feelings and help find ways to cope when you find yourself in a situation where you're around people.
Topic: sleep-improvement

Question: Why am I dreaming so much?
Sometimes 3 times a night.

Answer (from Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor):
That's a difficult question to answer. Dreaming is a normal (and healthy) part of the sleep cycle. The current thought is that we all generally
experience roughly the same number of dreams - the difference often is just
whether we remember the dreams or not.An increase in the number or frequency of distressing dreams
(or nightmares) can be a symptom of stress, anxiety, or PTSD.  If the dreams are disturbing to you, talking to a local
counselor could help. If the dreams themselves
are not troubling, you may just be remembering them more than most people do.
Topic: depression

Question: Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone?
I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
   I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
   How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone?

Answer (from Shauntai Davis-YearginPersonalized, private online counseling for individuals and couples):
Therapy is essential for those that are feeling depressed and worthless. When I work with those that are experiencing concerns related to feeling of depression and issues with self esteem. I generally work with my client to help build coping skills to reduce level of depression and to assist with strengthening  self esteem, by guiding my client with CBT practices. CBT helps with gaining a better awareness of how your thought process influences your belief system, and how your beliefs impact your actions and the outcome of your behaviors.  This process isn’t easy but it helps teach an individual that we don’t always have control over what happens in our lives but we can control how we interpret, feel, and behave. CBT is good for individuals dealing with depression, anxiety, toxic relationships, stress, self esteem, codependency, etc.
Topic: workplace-relationships

Question: A friend of my child's father is sending him inappropriate content
I believe it is wrong for men to look at inappropriate content. The father of my child has agreed to respect my beliefs. His co-worker sent him an inappropriate video. He got mad because he does not think he should tell his friend to not send him things like that.

Answer (from Dr. Timothy Paul'man'; Online - "Natural Health Consultant and Coach"):
The offspring are your Property;If you require that no other man show inappropriate content to them, then require compensation for use and enjoyment of your Property, without your consent;Send them a bill;When they do not pay it, activate the local Sheriff, take them to small claims court, and win a judgment against them for failure to compensate for the use and enjoyment of your Property;I wonder what might happen after that... learn to act as man :)... and watch the magic happen...
Topic: anxiety

Question: How do I become less anxious in conversations?
I find myself being very outgoing most of the time, but there are some times when I don't know what to say. I don't even want to talk at all. It's like, I search for the right thing to say and nothing ever comes out. I don't know if I'm outgoing only to fill the void of not knowing what to say. I don’t know if people like that about me. I'm very self-conscious and always think people are talking about me, so it makes me have a cold shoulder and not want to talk.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Would you feel more secure in conversations if instead of talking soon after meeting someone or entering a social situation, you simply listened attentively to the other people?This way you'd have a more secure idea of what topics the group likes talking about and whether you like talking about these topics as well.Maybe you simply are in groups or situations in which you don't care for the people or focus.Start by trusting your own evaluation of your true interest in being among the groups in which you are.Maybe you simply need new and different groups.
Topic: anxiety

Question: I want to feel more comfortable around people
My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him. I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people.
   How can I feel more comfortable around other people?

Answer (from 2nd Chance Counseling Service Online Addiction Therapy ProviderConvenient Online Addiction Therapy ):
I would look at  getting engaged with a support network of individuals who may also have autistic children.  They will understand some of the things that you are experiencing at home and you may also find someone who feels that same way as you. If you have not sought professional counseling for the abusive relationship I would seek out a therapist who can help you process through it so you do not repeat similar choices in your next relationship.
Topic: anxiety

Question: Can anxiety make me think I heard something about me?
When I'm around people, I sometimes think someone has made a comment to me or asked me to do something. I will be focusing on something else and then randomly think I hear something about me. I never know if it was actually said.

Answer (from Jennifer GerlachYour Story Matters):
Anxiety can absolutely make you think you heard something about you. When we are on high alert, we tend to look for threats and often the greatest threats we experience on a daily basis are social in nature.  To some extent this is normal, for example, when people experience late onset deafness, they often will worry people are talking about them (and usually not good things) because our brains tend to jump to that. Of course, I'm not saying you are going deaf or anything, just giving an example. Counseling can help you work through this anxiety. It may also be helpful to reach out to a counselor to rule out if there may be other things going on. Sometimes things like paranoia can blend in with anxiety, which is a very distressing experience. But both are absolutely treatable. Wishing you the best!
Topic: anxiety

Question: Overcoming fears
I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do?

Answer (from Kellie Spear, LCMHC, LMFTCompassionate online support & encouragement ):
Everyone has fears. Whatever your fear is it can be helpful to breakdown the thing that creates anxiety or fear into small steps. For instance, let's say you are afraid of speaking in public. If your goal would be to one day speak to a room of people, you would start by creating a list of lesser fears that would eventually lead to the main fear of speaking in public. You could start your list with things that might be less anxiety-producing such as, asking for help at a store or speaking up in class or at work if something is bothering you. As you build-up to what you fear the most you will have taken baby steps while assessing whether or not what you feared most was as bad as you thought it would be. If it wasn't, that will help boost your confidence and help move you to the next step. This is called an exposure hierarchy and it is something you can do on your own or with the help of a counselor.
Topic: depression

Question: Do I have too many issues for counseling?
I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac.    I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years.
   I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling?

Answer (from Sara Makin, M.S.Ed.,NCC#1 Best Selling Author & Counselor):
You have been through so much and it sounds like you have a lot of things that have complied over the years. Regardless of the struggles you have been through, you do not have too many issues for counseling. Many times when someone starts out their counseling and healing journey, there are multiple things they would like to address and work on. If you decide to start counseling, you and your therapist can decide collaboratively what you would like to process and work on first. Be sure to express to your counselor if any of the above experiences you've been through is causing a lot of distress , as many times the first things addressed are the ones that are presently affecting your life or you emotionally. Often times when we experience negative situations in our life , but do not address them, they bottle up inside us and can manifest in other ways, such as depression or even physical symptoms like IBS or neck pain.  Counseling can give these bottled up emotions and situations a release. Given the situation you shared, not only do I not think that you have too many issues for counseling, but believe that you will be a great candidate and can get a lot from it.
Topic: family-conflict

Question: How can I avoid family members who stress me out?
My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining, but I don't want to hear it anymore.

Answer (from Christina McGrath Fair"Enlightenment is when a wave realizes it is the ocean." -Thich Nhat Hanh):
It can really be difficult to listen to someone constantly complain and it can take a lot of emotional energy to be the listening ear to someone struggling. Perhaps having a conversation with your mother about making the communication more productive in nature. It seems like your mother is obviously having some difficulties and she is stuck, therefore making you stuck listening to complaints on repeat. Explain to her the impact it has on you to listen to the complaining and not working towards changing things or coming to a level of acceptance or even making the conversation mutual, such as her being there for you. This may or may not help her to come around, but at least it can open up the conversation and be an effort towards initiating a change.
Topic: family-conflict

Question: I don't know how to deal with my boyfriend's father
We rent from from my boyfriend's parents. His father drops by unannounced and stays for long periods of time. He lets himself into our home when we aren't there on a daily basis and takes our dogs to his house. He picks up our mail. He has NO boundaries.    He's an opinionated, rude pushy person. He expects to spend every weekend around us, gives unsolicited advice on child rearing and does not respect our privacy at all. He barges in with no warning. He has a key and lets himself into our house without asking permission. I need help. How do I address this?

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
You're expecting reasonable behaviors from your boyfriend's father.Since the father is his, your boyfriend is the person in position to speak directly with his dad about the expectations you and he have of the father.If your boyfriend has a good relationship w his dad, which is not what this sounds like, then great!If your boyfriend has a stressed and tense relationship w his dad, then somehow he needs to develop or be coached and encouraged by the people in his life who truly care about and know him, a way to state the very reasonable standards you describe here.If all else fails, then a new living space is always another possibility!
Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: How would I know if I have the right therapist?
How do you know you have the right therapist for you?
 How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment?

Answer (from Gay Lee Schumann):
You will know when you have the right therapist if you feel like it is a "fit" for you.  Trust your intuition!  It is often accurate.  However, if you are used to unhealthy relationships, the therapeutic relationship may feel uncomfortable at times.  One of the best ways to "train" your therapist is to educate him/her about you.  If something is important to you, tell him/her.
Topic: family-conflict

Question: What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?
After I told them, they yelled at me.

Answer (from Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals):
That has to be incredibly difficult because you were very vulnerable and open about what you were feeling and I imagine the response was very hurtful.Here are a couple of things to do right now:Practice giving yourself some love. Bring your awareness to the room around you and some of the positive energy within you. As you become a bit centered, you're likely to be able to work through your emotions more easily.Surround yourself with people who do accept you. I'm hoping that you have friends or acquaintances who accept you as you are.You can also find some support here through this organization that often have events related to offering support: https://www.pflag.org/needsupport. I have not spoken with this organization directly, but they are often discussed in therapeutic trainings as a reputable organization.Related more specifically to your family, that change may take some time. There is often a large adjustment in families because of the huge variations in reactions and what each person thinks, feels, and believes.Consider talking with a local therapist about how to communicate more effectively with your family, as there are a lot of variables there, so it is difficult to give you specific ideas in this format.Remember, there are lots of people who accept you as you are right now.
Topic: addiction

Question: The organization I work for has told me I cannot go to my 12 step meetings
This is my recovery, and I don't feel that it is okay for them to ask this. They told me it is policy due to the fact that I may run into a peer there. I am a peer counselor in the small community that I grew up in. I am in recovery myself. I was asked to come work for this organization after I was two years sober (I was in treatment in this organization). I work with mental health peers and run life skill groups. I don't work with substance peers.

Answer (from Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor):
You definitely want to make sure not to inadvertently create an inappropriate dual relationship with a client. In fact, it is not uncommon for state regulatory boards to determine that a clinician and client being in the same 12 step group is professional misconduct. You might want to consider attending a 12 step meeting that is located in a different community than the one you work in.  Another option would be to look for one-on-one or small group recovery support.
Topic: depression

Question: How do I get rid of depression?
I've been feeling worthless, unaccomplished, and so frustrated. I want to break things, hit myself, run away, kick, scream, and cry. I just want to be happy and outgoing again. I want to be able to take care of my daughter and live comfortably.

Answer (from Lynda MartensMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT):
Philadelphia, there is help out there. For your daughter's sake, start somewhere. Feelings are only that; your worst fears about who you are are only based on a few moments that haven't gone well. Depression is so treatable, but you have to seek treatment from a professional.Here's a quick exercise for you to do that can show you how therapy might work... fear is telling you the worst possible story of your life, right? So... if there was an opposite story...the very best story that someone could tell about you and your life...what would that be? Who would be telling it? Someone who loves you? Someone who was around you when you were that outgoing person? Someone who's been watching your life from the start? God? Write that best story. I dare you to give it as much credibility as the worst one. Therapy is often about helping people reject their "worst stories". I invite you to start exploring with a qualified therapist whatever barriers stand between you and your best life. I hope you reach out soon. :)
Topic: social-relationships

Question: How can I become more understanding?

Answer (from Lynda MartensMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT):
Man, I love this goal. We could all use a bit more of this. Sometimes I picture it like a salt shaker. I'll write an email, then I'll read it again from the receiver's perspective and sprinkle a bit more understanding on it, and I always like it better. Understanding...compassion...empathy...the world could use a lot more of these things and I love that you want to do your part.What makes you want to be more understanding? Maybe you want to get closer to someone and resentment is in the way? Maybe you tend to get defensive and have trouble listening to and understanding someone? Whatever the reason, let's get you started by having you write down those things in a list. What things will be better in your life if you have more understanding? Get really grounded in why you're doing this. Then let's look at the barriers. What do you risk if you're more understanding? Do you risk feeling vulnerable? Hurt? Attacked? Powerless? Feeling like you're losing? In therapy, you would get help looking at these questions. What are you avoiding feeling? Once you have this answer, then you can easily move to the next step.The next step is working to tolerate that feeling you're avoiding. Tolerating it, and "leaning into it", knowing that it's only a feeling and not a reality...these thoughts can help you relax enough to take that wall down and allow space for other people's truths, not just yours. Once you know where you want to be with your thoughts, it takes practise, repetition, to teach yourself new truths about how safe it is to allow yourself to be more understanding and let the wall come down. It's my guess that, at some point in your life, there was a reason for that wall of yours to be built. Sometimes we build walls as young people and then no one tells us how to take the wall down once we don't need it anymore. We think we still need it. I invite you to consider therapy as you explore these ideas. I wish you the best.
Topic: addiction

Question: Is there a lawsuit for counselors and therapists who failed to report a relapse?
I have a relative who is in his twenties. He was in a drug rehabilitation program and got kicked out for using drugs again. No one informed family that he was using drugs again. He subsequently overdosed and was found dead.
 Is their accountability of counselors, therapists or the halfway house for not reporting that he had relapsed? Is there a legal case for failing to report?

Answer (from Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor):
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  This sounds like a really difficult situation for the whole family.  Since the answer to this question will depend a lot on the applicable state laws, I would suggest talking with a local attorney.  That being said, I see two competing issues here.  On the one side is the duty of confidentiality the counselors owed to your relative.  On the other side is the duty the counselors had to act reasonably to protect your relative from harm.  Generally there is not a requiremt for substance abuse treatment centers to notify family members if an adult client relapses.A local attorney will be able to provide more specific guidance on the legal obligtions and liabilities in this situation.
Topic: intimacy

Question: Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?
My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me.    I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Definitely yes, it is possible for a couple to trust each other again and become close with each other.Since your trust was broken, your fiancé would need to earn back your belief that he is faithful to you.Do you feel he empathizes with how you felt to find out about his cheating?Before you have this question answered, based on what you write there is a sense of your own doubt as to whether you are with the right partner.Before you and he address regaining your trust, first decide if you'd like to work on this.Ask yourself if the sexual attention he felt he wasn't getting from you was bc you're not as interested in him as you imagine or once felt in the past.If each of you sincerely wants to be together, it is possible to talk about your respective needs and help the other person feel safe again with the other.
Topic: depression

Question: How do I know if I have depression?
I'm almost never happy. Half of the time, I don't feel anything. I find it easy to make myself feel nothing. I know I push people away because it’s easier. I just want answers. I'm sick of feeling this way. It’s ruining my relationships with people.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Maybe you have depression.The name of your condition matters much less than the descriptions you wrote of how you feel.Since you've observed how you sometimes interact with people and realize you aren't happy with the result, you've a very solid starting point for reflecting on your deeper wishes in relating to others.Start with asking reasons of yourself about the puzzling aspects of how you're engaging with others.Theorizing as to "why" you feel that pushing people away is "easier", and easier than what?Googling the keywords of how you feel, may open a starting point for ideas on knowing yourself and what you wish for.