Getting there. Ish...
Tags: csharp, book, illness, recovery
Published: 2024-07-09 08:39:36

---
title: Getting there. Ish...
published: true
description: Trying to return to life as normal
tags: csharp, book, illness, recovery
cover_image: https://raw.githubusercontent.com/StacyCash/blog-posts/main/general/2024/getting-there/cover-image.jpg
# Use a ratio of 100:42 for best results.
# published_at: 2024-06-25 19:55 +0000
---

Since February 2022 I have been on sick leave due to Long Covid, [POTS](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postural_orthostatic_tachycardia_syndrome), and Chronic Fatigue. Last week I had an assessment from the government because I have been on sick leave for so long. I have no idea what the result is; I'll find out in time I guess.

It's hard to think that it's been 16 months since I was first ill, and mind blowing that I'm still only working 4 to 5 hours a day.

When I was first ill, I was so tired that I basically just collapsed on the sofa or bed, and did nothing. I didn't even have the energy to get bored at the nothing I could do. Netflix and YouTube were hit hard, but nothing really went in.

The specialist clinic that is treating me in Amsterdam tries new treatments every 6 weeks. After 3 weeks we have a chat about progress, and at the 6 week mark decide whether to continue or not before trying something else.

First they tried to get my POTS under control. So this time last year I was starting to get bored again. But still didn't have the energy, or brain capacity, to do much.

So... I thought a good option would be to work through the book I wrote back in 2022. Seeing as I wrote it, I must be able to do it. At least that was my thought process...

How wrong I was. The brain fog was so thick that I couldn't understand anything (judging from the 4 and 5 star reviews, I'm assuming this is a me now problem, and not a me then problem 😅🫣).

Without a doubt that was the lowest time of the illness. The way that I saw it was:

> If I could not even understand my own book then what chance did I have at continuing with my career?

I love technology, and software development! And it's not just a career; it's been a hobby since I was in single digits! At that time I wondered if I'd ever work again.

But since autumn last year I have been slowly getting back into it. I've given some talks, streamed some coding, and other IT stuff. And, whilst it's only 4 to 5 hours a day, I am working now and starting to feel a little useful again.

It's not easy, and sometimes my brain fog means that things that should take an hour or 2 can take me a day or more. But other days I can get more done than I hoped. Ups and downs.

And that book... I can work through it again, I use it for reference  for other things that I do now (the best reason to write a book!).

I even reviewed [Jimmy Engström](https://twitter.com/EngstromJimmy)'s [book](https://www.amazon.nl/-/en/Jimmy-Engstr%C3%B6m/dp/1835465919/ref=sr_1_1?crid=21NTGAYTKSMJ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.GKqHjak_0urI0mQ6kj6uVfwlvYs8LP-4SveG27enuVbmFZLvOUU2SwEcTXTq6v4oBt4vNGQAVA6XhJldBf95oc-kW1qA4GC4t5HIQe6S2ZxolXRrV3QUhh_ItoAVkSsgxBRlCIaYNFHiwq1wsUGgebBmZZhynff6ZRW1HZr3hXNXobbHHTGXt744U0WyAhHF.XajWEHDB9jQXzbRVZLKhExoigDF6qdGsAJtLcygOAI0&dib_tag=se&keywords=blazor+jimmy&qid=1719763481&sprefix=blazor+jimmy%2Caps%2C80&sr=8-1) for him! Both a learning opportunity, and a chance to stretch my brain a little.

I also got some great news about my book. I've gotten the green light for a second edition!

I'm taking my time - it's going to be for .NET 9, so not before the end of the year. I'm updating what is there, looking at where I think I can improve my explanations, and adding some new chapters!

- Data API
- Making GitHub Workflows for infra as code, building, and deploying the code
- Adding a chapter on custom auth using Auth0

I have a long way to go, but it feels awesome to be back!