Honest thoughts about self-confidence
Tags: offtopic, writing, exposure
Published: 2017-04-12 23:04:16

---
title: "Honest thoughts about self-confidence"
published: true
description: Just a bunch of non-sense thoughts about self confidence.
cover_image: https://www.helpscout.net/images/blog/2015/aug/damn-hard-writing.png
tags: offtopic, writing, exposure
---
## Hey

Young game dev student here. This is my first article and English is not my main language, but I'll do my best.

I recently joined the [dev.to](/) community, so I thought,
***hey, let's write something***,
but that didn't go very well...


## Writing is hard

My first idea was to write about a custom data compressor I'm working on. It's a really cool thing and I learnt a lot about .NET libraries and memory management / operations. But the more words I put in, the more I thought to myself:

***'well, to be honest, this is just an experiment for yourself and most people may already know anything you learnt'***

So... **What's the point?**

Then I thought: okay, I'm just a student after all, maybe I can write about my experience studying Game Development in college. Because I learnt ( and I'm still learning ) a lot of things, things that can't be taught, but rather learned by working with real people in real projects. Which is a thing that I didn't appreciate this much until I started actually doing it since in high school they really emphasize on personal work over group work / integration.

But then again, as I wrote this new article, a voice kept repeating, in the back of my head:

***'you know, most people here already have years of experience working on big or small projects, this is not really contributing to anything whatsoever'***

so then again... **what's the point, right?**

And so on.

## But not only writing is hard

And the real problem here is that this somehow extends to pretty much every aspect of my life. Whatever I do, no matter the field or the effort I put in, I'm always so hard on myself that I just don't think it's worth showing it to the world. Maybe sometimes I tweet something, or post it somewhere if I'm really proud of it — but inside I can't help thinking that **it's not good enough.**

Don't get me wrong, I do know that I'm just studying, and *eventually*, if I work hard enough, I'll make great things.

But I really fear that when that day comes, if it ever does, I won't have enough self confidence to share it. And what's worse, I fear that even if I share it with the world, and even if the world happens to love it, I may keep feeling like **it's not good enough**.

Now I'm having some flashbacks of [this post](https://www.hanselman.com/blog/ImAPhonyAreYou.aspx) about the **Impostor Syndrome**. I agree that it's okay to feel like a phony sometimes, but...

**does it ever come to a point when you are really satisfied with your work?**

Am I being too edgy? I don't know... I've been struggling with these thoughts for days, it's almost 1 am here and I don't have coffee.

And after thinking of this all over and over, I always come to the same conclusion:

***'dude, chill. It's okay, just do your thing, enjoy what you're doing, and stop overthinking'***

Yeah. That's my mantra. But then,
**what's the point of this article?**

Okay, now I'm just forcing this gag, but **THE POINT** is that I know there must be more people out there concerned about this, but I just haven't found any thread / blog / whatever throwing any light at it. The guys at [wait but why](http://waitbutwhy.com/) have really good articles about similar topics, specially the ones about procrastination. But I don't know.

I hope this makes sense somehow, and if it does not, at least in the future I can come back here, read it and laugh really hard :P