Selective Extraversion
Tags: discuss, career, productivity
Published: 2019-08-28 09:48:56

> I went on as an observer, not a participant, for I do not think I ever spoke. I wanted to understand the issues under discussion, evaluate the arguments, see the calibre of the men involved
- Nelson Mandela

For the longest time in my life, I was an introvert. Always shy and reluctant to speak in public situations. I was raised to believe that everything works out *by-the-book*, so I focussed all of my energy to be the *right* person, rather than an *approachable* person. Now I want you to take the book and toss it in the trash. Life never works out the way you intend to. And if it does then you are a lucky exception.
 
Now that your book is in the trash. Follow this mantra:

> An oportuniity today, if not taken, is a painful memory tomorrow.

Oportunities that come your way will require that you step out of your comfort zone. For introverts, its talking to people, working in teams, articulating your ideas and pitching it in front of a greater audience. This is where *selective extraversion* comes to the rescue.

The following are some of my learnings along the way:

* As mentioned above: an oportuniity today, if not taken, is a painful memory tomorrow. So if an oportunity invites you on stage, just do it!

* **What is the worst that can happen?** Even if you screw up on stage or in a formal situation, everyone will eventually forget it and you'll gain your rep back.

* **Pick your battles**. You don't have to be an extrovert in every situation. Hence the term *selective* extraversion. 

* **Observe**. You cannot add value to a conversation until you know where the partaking members are coming from.

* **Act like you own it**. Whenever you go on stage, act like you own it. Remember, belief is everything, so convince yourself.

* I got this last one from my brother. **When anxious, shout a happy yelp**. This converts all of the anxiousness into adrenaline and energy. Don't believe me? Try it!


Now 2 years later, I have taken part in 20+ hackathons, took 10+ seminars, pitched my ideas 30+ times, performed a song on stage 3 times, and just recently, made one Udemy course with 3000+ enrollments (till now).

It is a FREE course called: [GetGoing, Introduction to Golang](https://udemy.com/course/getgoing). 

**You are going to screw up**

No matter how experienced a person is, they will always screw up in a public situation once or twice. Be it a minor hitch or choking on stage. 

I screwed up the second time I went up on stage to give a song performace. I was on the stage with my guitar with 3 other people who were going to sing. My knees were shaking and my fingers were sweaty. I started playing the guitar and soon realized that it was untuned and the *capo* was not on the right *fret*. That performance was a disaster. 

The worst thing that could have happened actually happened. A few weeks later, no one even remembers the performance, let alone the screw up. The crowd memory is very short, take advantage of it. The worst that can happen is not that bad!

**Conclusion**

Public speaking is a great way to score loads of adrenaline, and rep. Never let an opportunity slip by. Chuck the book down the drain. You make your own rep. No guidelines can do it for you.

`PS`: I am gonna be speaking at the Docker Chennai meetup in September. So if any of you guys are gonna be there, hit me up.