To say that programming saved my life is an understatement
Published: 2018-10-04 14:37:20

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title: To say that programming saved my life is an understatement
published: true
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###### the story on how programming saved my life.
###### I hope this helps anyone going through a hard time, it gets better.

Programming changes lives. This is said all time, because it does, it allows anyone who is willing to put in enough time to obtain a better job, it can be difference between being broke and making a good livable wage. But for me, it literally saved my life. Let's start with saying this, I'm undocumented, this means I am by definition in the U.S illegally, I have been ever since I was 10. I grew up knowing this, my mom reminded me of this "condition" every day of my life since I got here. I went to a public school and involved with the wrong crowd, I started hangin out with guys that were in gangs and did bad things, most of which I did as well. By the time I got to high school(14 year old me) I had been involved in gang fights, drugs and other things I'm not proud of. But I always loved technology, mostly in part because of my uncle who used to be a radio technician back in our country. I remember setting up my first computer and putting the pieces together myself being amazed at how beautiful it was, but as you might be able to guess, gang life and nerd life do not usually go hand in hand. Throughout high school and college I was still affiliated with the same people needless to say, I didn't graduate college and there were times that I found myself in situations were I though I was going to end up dead. 

My last year in college was horrible, I was so depressed and the thought of killing myself would creep in every now and then, I was smoking weed just to cope with the depression, and I stopped going to classes all together at one point, there was no reason for my existence, there I was waisting my life away feeling sorry for myself and anyone that knew how much of a failure I was. Because of a stupid choice I almost ended up getting deported, and my whole life came crushing down on me, the weight of every single choice I had made pilling up on my shoulders and sinking me to the bottom of a pitch-black abyss. Then I grabbed a book from the only class I loved, my Logic class, where we were learning all about truth tables and boolean logic, it completely changed my life. There was something about this stuff that just made sense to me, I could reason out every problem and see it in my mind, this class changed everything for me. It was something I could understand unlike life, it made sense, and it didn't hurt that I was really good at it. 

When I left college, I wanted to keep learning so I kept that book and a couple months later decided to give programming a go, something I wanted to since I was a kid but thought it would be impossible for an undocumented kid to learn. I started with html, css & javascript, slowly getting the hang of it, and as I learned, the depression slowly faded away, the more I learn the more I find my place in life. I have gotten so far in these past two years, I have not only learned html, css & javascript but a couple other languages as well, even dabbing into X86 Assembly. Programming gave me a new perspective on life, it allowed me to focus on something else other than my problems, it allowed me to submerge my consciousness in a sea of knowledge rather than the thought of my life being taken away from me. I am still undocumented, and I live life one day at a time. I love programming, not because maybe one day I'll make a lot of money, but because programming literally saved my life.