Talking About Dreams
Published: 2019-10-04 21:41:08

The first time I had contact with a computer I was 16 years old. I was in high school. The emotion that I felt at the beginning and my dreams about to learn, disappeared quickly. There were only three computers for a group of thirteen students. And guess what? The students who had access to computers and learn, were always the same ones. I wasn’t one of them, of course. The others (me included) had to stay behind them just watching, without understanding anything about the class or what the teacher said. Those moments were full of bad ideas in my head. I though over and over again that I would never learn anything about computers. I completely ignored my dream because of that. I honestly still don't know how I got credits for that assignment. I felt that I had been passionate about something that would never be possible for me.

Can you see how easy is to give up on your dreams? I just had a very small school and a teacher who focused only on a few students to feel unable to achieve my goals. From that time until now I rarely had real contact with computers.

It seems like I'm talking about a person from an other era, right? Well, no! This is me. This is just a small piece of the long history of my life and how I got here.

From there until now, I took an attitude of rejection towards technology. It really became an issue for me. Now I know it was a reaction to what had already been installed in my mind: “I can’t do it” The influence of that terrible idea has been so big, that I was even afraid about damaging my own cell phone because I didn’t know how to use it correctly,and I still don't know, to be honest. Afraid about not doing the right thing. I just learn a few very basic things with computers in the library. And I have to repeat this, I’m passionate about learning everything that has to do with computers or technology and being good at it! But for my mind was impossible, at that time.

We have to be very carefully with our thoughts, because sometimes, we put things in our minds that limit us in to many ways and it can be catastrophic sometimes. You end up believing that you are not capable of doing something that you really like.

What change? I became a mother. Very soon I saw myself asking my son for help (about very easy things honestly). He was only ten years old. What a shame! And guess what? I realized that I was turning my fears on him. Why? Because I would never allow him to do something that I didn't understand. The lack of knowledge and my fears stopped me for many years and now I was doing the same to my own son without intention. All this clicked something in my head.

Now the desire to learn returned, but suddenly I was lost in a world that looked nothing like the one I lived 19 years ago. I felt trapped in time. Now I felt old and clumsy to learn and do something different. I thought for a moment that it was late to star again. Just for a moment.

Now let me tell this, it took me almost twenty years to turn my head again to that dream that I had when I first used a computer; and the only thing the teacher allowed me to do that day, was to change the size of the font. Yes, only that! Life happens. No doubt. But no matter what, let’s turn to what one day made us dream. And that will be the first step of our journey. Don't accept the tricks of your mind looking for logical reasons to quit. Just dream again... Be brave!