How to Keep Your Mentoring Relationship Professional
Tags: career, beginners, codenewbie, javascript
Published: 2020-08-09 18:18:20

When you're working with a mentor, it's only natural that sometimes your relationship can get casual. Here are some ideas on how to keep your relationship professional. 

First, make sure that you always do what you say you will do. Your mentor needs to know that if you're going to have a conversation and you commit to something... that you'll actually follow through with that commitment. If you can't follow through with the commitment or you have a reason why it doesn't make sense anymore... then have that conversation, but if you commit to doing something, then do it. 

As I mentioned earlier, if you're going to miss a meeting, that can be okay, but give me a heads up. Let me know that you're not going to be there so I don't spend my time going to a meeting that's not going to happen. 

![Alt Text](https://dev-to-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/i/qz32t3pz768ptvrpdl84.jpg)

In our meetings, there will be a number of things that I ask you as the mentee to do. When you complete those things, I want to know. You don't have to wait for the next monthly meeting, you can send me a quick email... and say, hey, you remember this thing we talked about, I just completed it and here's how it went. 

Throughout the month, as I get those types of communications, I'll feel confident that our relationship is going in the right direction... and you are in this to make progress. 

Let me encourage you to use professional language. Again, it's easy to get into a casual relationship mode, and use language that you might not use in the office. Even though the relationship seems like it's getting a little casual... this is still a professional relationship. I encourage you to maintain that professionalism with the language that you choose to use. 

![Alt Text](https://dev-to-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/i/2bmgwj53dvf3jcf7dyx1.jpg)

Sometimes things can get stressful and emotional. It's okay to have emotions, but I would consider yelling a mistake. Definitely don't yell at your mentor, but even raising your voice... and becoming too passionate about a topic could be off-putting. Because your mentor is a volunteer, you don't have a strong position to demand that they do certain things. Be respectful of what they're giving to you. If you need a networking introduction, but they're not ready to make that introduction yet, there might be a reason for it. The last thing you should do is a demand that they make the introduction. 

Also, because of how closely you'll be working with your mentor, there are going to be mistakes made. You might get stood up at a restaurant or they might have committed something to you by the end of the week... and not delivered on it. If you want to have a long-term relationship, I encourage you to be "quick to forgive". 

![Alt Text](https://dev-to-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/i/ikdltux1jwe45juxcy8b.jpg)

Finally, remember that there are boundaries associated with them volunteering. At any point, they can say these; 
•	I've had enough, this isn't working out, 
•	This person isn't putting forth the effort, 
•	They're not doing the things that I suggest, 
•	They don't even listen to what I'm talking about, and 
•	They're hard to work with. 

All of those things would be pushing the boundaries of your volunteer... and you can find yourself without a mentor very quickly.

Thanks for reading. If you have further questions, kindly drop a message below or DM me on twitter @saheed_olad and I will respond ASAP.