💥  Trying To find a new Normal in a world of chaos 💥
Tags: mentalhealth
Published: 2020-04-06 14:35:55

  
Three weeks ago I had a full-time job and also looking forward to starting a new job at the beginning of April, all while going through my final weeks of a 6-month Bootcamp.
I was also preparing for my graduation and final project demo. 
My granddaughter and I had just submitted our first conference proposal, and she was going to the state championship.
All while trying to work around my husband who was still employed full time, but working from home. 
 
All of a sudden I have no job. The last two weeks of school were done all via Zoom.
 Graduation and our final demo were going virtual, my new job has been postponed until the end of the third quarter. 
 
I made it through my virtual graduation, and our Project Demo was finally put out for the world to see last Monday. 
[Grand Circus After Hours FrontEnd BootCamp Demos](https://online.flowpaper.com/7b450778/GRQ12020StudentProjects/#page=1).
We are now in a stay in place order, school and churches have been canceled for the rest year.
**Now What?**
 
Like most people I was like great, I am going to make the most of this.
Get some much-needed stuff done around the house, do some more JavaScript courses and get better at that, work on my portfolio, do my job searches, even though technically I still have a job, I am just temporarily laid off.
While solidifying a study plan, applying for unemployment, even doing a job interview for a QA software test engineer. My husband was told that he would have to take a 50% pay cut.
 
Last Tuesday I was scheduled for an interview for both Wednesday and Thursday.
So my schedule and plans that I created on Monday went out the window since I had to prepare for this interview, and I did not know a lot about QA or testing.
As the day went on the more frazzled I became and frustration started setting in.
My husband asked me what was wrong, trying to explain to him that I had so much that I needed to do, and I just felt like I was spinning my wheels.
 
He was like what do you need to do.
So I started rattling off my list:
I needed to get on my JavaScript course, to solidify those skills.
I needed to turn over the garden.
I needed to clean out the garage,
I needed to go through the clothes, so I could take them to the thrift store,
I needed to get ready for an interview and study QA and testing and at least look at Selenium.
I needed to work on my ITIL v4 certification, for the job that I was supposed to start in Apr, but now it will start in June/July possibly.
 
He was like no, I did not need to do anything.
The only thing that is important, is that we have a roof over our head, plenty of food, and utilities.  Once those needs are met, then the only thing that I NEED to do is stay healthy both physically and mentally.
 
I do not need to look for a job, I have a job I have just been temporarily laid off.
I do not need to turn the garden because we can not plant for at least another month if not two.
He just continued to break down all the things that I considered a need and all the things that I said I should be doing and negated them.
 
I wish I could say this helped ease my anxiety, instead, I was in another dilemma.
Now that I did not need to do anything, what was I supposed to do?
I worked on the first thing, my interview that I was supposed to have on Wednesday with at least 5 possibly 7 people. Late Tuesday I found out that it would only be a Thursday interview. 
 
So Wednesday, I actually cut myself off from technology as much as I could.
No slack, facebook, no Free Code Camp.
I decided I was going to sit back and enjoy one of the books that I had gotten for Christmas.
The first book I picked up was the [Pragmatic Programmer](https://pragprog.com/book/tpp20/the-pragmatic-programmer-20th-anniversary-edition), then I changed my mind because I knew subconsciously I was choosing this book to justify that I am still doing something while doing nothing. So I started reading the [Phoenix Project](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwj30JSGgtToAhWIymQKHRv0DkIYABABGgJwag&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESQeD2WXplWfRbvIKKdI3e_2mVLYGsQL9ZXEt8XmsrsdJfDdMcsYv5sJD-bx9FQHmmpWq4c_lHLVvmz4iIctVs_mnZ&sig=AOD64_3xJbRpLw6PSd3v3Bdz4fBlCn_HyA&q=&ved=2ahUKEwiQv4iGgtToAhVJM6wKHXeVDUsQ0Qx6BAgoEAE&adurl=).
 
I did my interview on Thursday and found out this morning that they want to go to the next round with me.
This weekend I still continued my distancing from technology, played cornhole with the hubby, I did start turning the garden after my hubby surprised me with some seeds he ordered off of Amazon. :grin:
I pulled out the bike, fixed it up and went on a bike ride, and got ready to start my next book  [Unicorn Project](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwiJrt2mgtToAhVX_uMHHQfwCskYABACGgJ5bQ&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESQeD2lo-OZst2RIY9YrlyU8gALwfgw0-ac4ZRSqP9QaPsu62ykXr5GaeAuuogkzYzGkfFE_LTUaQjpxor4jEtskLT&sig=AOD64_0dpYuO7oy4n6tY4ZFXm-yfOLFhow&q=&ved=2ahUKEwj93NKmgtToAhUHY6wKHdjGBJMQ0Qx6BAghEAE&adurl=). 
 
Is everything perfect, no it is a work in process.
We have been thrown in a world that most people have never experienced. 
With my husband’s help though I am starting to get some normalcy in my life.
All my looking at what my true NEEDS are.
Staying healthy both mentally and physically.
I hope everyone else is doing the same.