4 annoyances of being a female developer (and how to help making it better)
Tags: womenintech, inclusion, watercooler
Published: 2021-02-24 12:16:17

Let's just immediately break the bubble and say that sometimes it sucks to be a female developer. I'm sorry to say this, especially if there's a girl or a woman reading this and they are thinking of becoming a developer.

But the meaning of this blog post is not to discourage women to start a career in tech, but actually let others know we (or at least I) have faced situations which have made me doubt my career choice. I encourage everyone to take action if they see something like this happening or if someone who is reading this now notices they have done something like this (and it's normal if you have, I have done these things too!) maybe next time you will actually notice it :)

#### So I wanted to list four situations that I have encountered during my short career in tech that I wish wouldn't constantly happen

1. Developers assuming I don't know what they are talking about

     This could happen to anyone and it's partly because of implicit stereotypes. I have for example automatically assumed that a woman working in an electronics store probably won't know the answer to my question, which is silly since it actually means I am belittling myself as a woman who wants to buy said electronics! Here's one example of how this has happened towards me.

    I was in an IGDA (International Game Developers Association) gathering and I saw my friend there so I joined the group and since they were in the middle of a conversation I didn't want to intervene and was just listening for a while. I can't remember what they were talking about exactly, but I remember it was interesting and it was about some quite basic principle in programming.

    So after a moment there was a good gap for me to introduce myself to this person I didn't know and quickly say hi to my friend. After this the person I didn't know said: "I'm sorry we are discussing something that doesn't really interest you". I was so baffled I didn't really know what to say. So I just joined the conversation and said my opinion about the subject they were talking about and they were surprised. Only after that they were interested enough to ask what I do for a living. And this leads me to another common assumption I have encountered.

2. People assuming I'm a designer

    If people are not surprised I work in tech, they quite often say something like "oh you must be a designer then!" or "that's so nice, what kind of design do you do?". And this triggers me quite a lot. This happens so often it's not even funny anymore and unfortunately I don't always have patience to answer in a most polite manner so I sometimes let myself be a bit more passive-aggressive. No, I'm not a designer and just because I'm a woman, it doesn't automatically mean I'm interested in design or that I'm good at that.

    And this assumption that women are better at design actually can also be seen when working with a team in a project. It's assumed that I "have a good eye" so I can do all the front end programming. But nowadays I have enough courage to say what I want to learn in a project so I'm not only stuck with front end code :)

    These next two luckily happen a bit more rarely, but these are the ones that are most harmful and make me feel like an impostor and I still have trouble with confidence when it comes to being a developer.

3. Assuming I've gotten a job because I'm a woman and not because of my skills

    Luckily I haven't heard anything like this after I started my career in tech, but I used to hear this a lot when I was studying. And whenever some company says they are going to be hiring more women developers, the comment section is filled with assumptions like this. Trying to find more diverse people to work in a company _doesn't mean lowering the bar_. It means _putting in more work to actually find more diverse candidates to apply for the position_.

    And this is important. There needs to be more role models for girls in order to make it a bit easier for them to consider a career in tech. Also when the workplaces are more diverse, I think all these issues I have encountered will also become more rare.

    So I was working half of my studies and I even graduated half a year early and it's because I worked hard. I had motivation, I enjoyed learning new (and I'm fast at learning new) and finally the studies actually felt like something that I really wanted to do. Doing all this required a lot from me. I worked during the day and studied in the evening and during some courses I didn't even have time or energy to see my friends because I wanted to learn the contents of the course.

    So the next time a thought like this passes your mind, maybe analyse why you think so. Why do you assume they haven't deserved the job. And then just congratulate like a normal person and don't try to belittle someone's achievement.

4. Making me prove I know about the subject I'm talking about.

    This one is in my opinion the most tiring (and unfortunately really common) thing. It sometimes feels like anytime I'm talking to a group of people I don't know, there's always someone who needs more proof of my skills.

    If I say I graduated as a game developer, I'm asked if I even play any games. And then I have to list games I like to play and oh my glob if I happen to like anything that's seen as a game that's audience is more females, it proves to them that I actually am an impostor and I probably just watch my boyfriend to play games and that's why I had some knowledge of games.

    If I say I'm working as a developer, depending on the subject where this comes up (mobile development, games, XR etc) I'm then asked a tiny pointless trivia about some architectural pattern or the device or do I even use the command line.

    Why is it so hard to believe that I could actually know what I'm talking about? This need to prove actually happens also a lot in social media. I am fairly active on instagram (@whatminjaplays) and either me or my friends get constantly asked if we ever even play the games we talk about and take pictures of? And I just can't understand the logic of this. Why would I spend so much money on a game just to get a picture of it?

#### So how to fix this?

First of all, remember that it's okay to make mistakes. Just apologize and try to do better next time.

Don't make assumptions. Ask where someone is working or ask if they are interested in a discussion about the topic. Ask what everyone would like to do in the project.

But what is the underlying reason this keeps happening? Why do even I behave like this? It's because we all have an unconscious bias. I recommend you to educate yourself about the topic and maybe next time you will notice the bias before acting on it. You can maybe start by watching this great talk by Kristen Pressner: [Are you biased? I am.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bq_xYSOZrgU)