Nevertheless, BekahHW Coded and had a lot of feelings
Tags: wecoded
Published: 2021-03-02 23:35:07

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It's been a year, friends. It's been nearly a year since I temporarily lost my job. It's been nearly a year since I started [Virtual Coffee](https://virtualcoffee.io/). It's been nearly a year since I realized the most important thing is open communication and understanding.

You know, it's _hard_ to communicate. It's _hard_ to find people that you can communicate with openly. And it's not ever an overnight thing. I've spent a lot of time guarding myself. I've spent a lot of time trying to exceed expectations. And what's hard is finding the place where I allow vulnerability to come first.

## My most important achievement has been…
Communicating openly and honestly, which always means emotionally.  It's been to allow people to know where I'm at. It's been reaching out to them when I want to help, but I don't know if they're ready for me. It's been telling people, "I appreciate the work you've done, but this isn't the direction for this project." It's been learning as I go.

## My biggest goals are…
Here are my big things. The things I don't share. 

I have put my heart and soul into Virtual Coffee. And I know 100% that the community is making a difference. We are learning and growing and supporting each other. And I want to be able to make that difference throughout tech and throughout other industries, throughout all the places that need to have a clear and supportive system with a person-centric approach. I want everyone to know the intimate and close relationships we have here because of _how_ we do things. We have a model that works. And I very much want to see that expand to other communities. I want to see the change happening.

I want to see my postpartum wellness app in the app store. I want to see it use tech to early-predict postpartum mood disorders. I want to grow and learn with it and remember that we don't have users, we have people who are in a very vulnerable state, people who are often ignored and shushed, people who don't get the care that they deserve. I want to know the faces of each and every person. I want to be there for the one single person who needs it. 

## Things I Love
- Virtual Coffee Community
- [The Virtual Coffee Podcast](https://virtualcoffee.io/podcast/)
- Learning from the amazing teachers in my life
- People who let me be me, who let me go off on tangents, who don't blankly stare at me when I'm talking about things I'm passionate about, who accept me on all my messy days, who are ok with kids on laps during meetings, who check in with me when life is hard.
- Warm fires on snowy days
- Writing the words that I mean
- Being a mom of four messy kids
- The view once you leave the Fort Pitt Tunnel

I am here for the entire person. I am here for depth and truth and quietness. 

It's been a year, friends. I've done a lot of coding. And Cypress has given me nightmares more than once, but I love it. I desperately want to be a better developer. I want to get my course out there, I want to put my blog posts out there regularly, I want to grow and challenge myself, and I want to support all the people who ask me for it. 

And _a lot_ of people have told me that's not doable. But I'm here. And I'm willing to try.