A great mentorship session
Tags: mentorship, career, growth
Published: 2020-11-14 21:11:04

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title: A great mentorship session
published: true
description: ...and more reflections on mentoring
tags: mentorship, career, growth
//cover_image: https://direct_url_to_image.jpg
---

Recently, while embarking on some new endeavours, I was lucky enough to receive some great mentorship, which helped me orientate my learning. Having seen both sides of the mentor/ mentee relationship at this stage, I got inspired to consolidate what I felt made this session impactful and why I got much out of it. 

*And mentorship is so-so important!*

Not only because it fast tracks growth for the mentee, which in case of a workplace means more productivity. It also helps both people involved connect on a personal level, which is beneficial for everyone: the individuals involved, the team, and therefore the organisation. Even in the workplace, we are humans first. Establishing good relationships makes work more enjoyable on good days, and tolerable on bad days.

The mentor gets an opportunity to share their learnings and see how far they've come in their own journey. It’s easy to forget as we grow the previous versions of ourselves that struggled at what now is a straightforward task. There's also the gratification of seeing somebody grow as a result of their contribution. Not to mention that empowering others to grow contributes to a mentor's leadership abilities and growth. 

Finally, it helps kindness prevail - the people that mentored me responded with a *"pay it forward"* to my attempts to thank them, and that's the same thing I hope for when I share my knowledge: that one day a person who received help, will help others.

Anyway, I wanted to speak about how to do mentorship well, but a tiny bit of a reminder about kindness never hurt anyone. So, what made this session great, making me feel super pumped after it:

# Being treated as competent.

When mentoring somebody, you must believe they'll get there - sooner or later. It's just a matter of time and effort. Assuming competency is not something I take for granted, and is something that I sense when is not there. And it makes a ton of a difference. Even with the best intentions, coming across as condescending can hurt the other person's confidence just because of the dynamic of this relationship.

A few years ago, when I started boxing classes, my PT was pushing me saying that he wants to see my energy, and that I can do this. Class after class I was becoming stronger, and I kept thinking that if I can do this in boxing after only a few weeks in the game (and not being that fit at all!), imagine having something similar at work! 

The mentorship I received was of this kind, I felt competent, and I felt no doubt that if I take the right steps, I'll reach where I want. I wasn't being talked down to. Be that person for your mentees. *Give them the feeling that you truly believe in them, and you want to see them succeed.*

# Taking time to see where I am at before suggesting ideas.

At the same time, it's good to give advice based on where the person is now and where they want to go. So, asking a few questions to understand where they come from can help tailor advice to their experience. Make it relevant to them. Avoid assuming what they know or don't know. Provide alternative paths to see where their interests lie and then suggest ways to get there. By understanding where they are at, it’s also easier to help them reframe their experience and double down on their strong points. From the outside you can see things that they might take for granted for themselves.

My mentor asked me questions about my current status, aspirations and motivations, and based on that, gave me advice and recommendations. The goals she gave me were sensible next steps ahead of where I was, which I hadn't figured out myself yet. Super valuable.

# Specific & repeatable advice with a focus.

I see a lot of motivational work-related advice (especially online) with things like "persistence" encouraging you to put the effort in to see rewards. But I don’t think this is how it works, nor motivation and inspiration are that helpful when you are stuck. You can be very persistent, and yet be on the wrong path. 

What you really need is somebody to tell you what you are doing wrong. This is why advice should be repeatable: it shouldn't depend on circumstances or luck. The guidance should be actionable and measurable based on insights from a world that the other person does not have yet. *"This is how you should think about X, people expect you to know Y and be able to speak about Z, consider doing W to get there".*

And, really, *you can get motivated when you feel that things are within your reach*. Motivation is not the biggest problem, it’s the barriers we have to overcome. Being on the wrong path, seeing things the wrong way, or lacking critical context. If you can provide insights into any of those from where you are at, it's the most valuable thing you can do.

This was the best part of this session, every point I wrote down in my notes was specific, actionable, and I could see why and how to pursue it. It made absolute sense, but up to this point, I didn’t have exposure to it. Before that, the possibilities seemed endless, making it harder to focus on the right things. Providing a well laid-out path after figuring out what’s blocking the other person is helpful to not get lost in a sea of possibilities.

# The ability to follow-up and/or relevant resources.

Especially if the context is too technical, or too much new information, it might be hard to register everything in one go. Offering the ability to follow up with further questions if you are available, or alternatively, sending on a list of useful resources on what you discussed, ensures that they will have a way to refer back to the learnings. 

*Mindset + Information = Power!*

# It was pretty awesome - but grounded nonetheless.

The last thing my mentor did, which felt very refreshing was keeping it light. Despite being successful in her area, she didn't seem to take herself too seriously. This was not only awesome because she was fun to talk with, but also because she made the pursuit look more attainable. When somebody is already successful, they might seem intimidating and too far to reach from a beginners' point of view.

Keeping it grounded and reminding your mentee that nobody starts by knowing can help them believe that they, too, will get there. 

Ultimately, it boils down to treating learning as a journey, in which we are all in different parts. Being relatable and approachable while also reflective to the details of your path that made success a possibility. *And having a desire to pay it forward.*