Stop overthinking and start choosing
Tags: choice, motivation, webdev
Published: 2022-07-01 03:35:03

Technology is a field that gives freedom and joy to many people. There are always new languages and frameworks we can learn, new fields we can get into, and new people we can work with. Today there is an opportunity to make money here and tomorrow a chance to contribute to an exciting project there. So much availability can be a great source of excitement and happiness. So many people feel welcome in this space.

But there is another side to tech that is not as fun to talk about. This opportunity comes with a higher level of anxiety about what to do with ourselves. Since our time on this earth is limited and the options are plenty, we need to make choices constantly about what to get into and what to leave out. If we are not careful we will try to do too much and end in burnout or even worse, get completely paralyzed unable to decide.

- Should we get into Twitter?
- Should we start a personal blog?
- Should we try technical writing?
- Should we do freelance work?
- Should we get more into crypto?
- Should we start coaching others?
- Should we learn this new technology?
- Should we build a more ambitious project with what we know?
- Should we try to enter the big company or the startup?

It can get overwhelming quickly.

So to lower the anxiety we will need to make choices and focus.
In this short piece I will try to answer the old question:

**How can we decide what to do next with confidence and commitment?**

I have a good reason to do this since it all comes from my struggles. You see, I've been overthinking my choices for a long time, and even after I make them I get the feeling that they might not be quite right, that maybe there is a better alternative. Always overthinking, doubting, and postponing my choices.

So in my doubt and my search I've been observing others and learning from those who know better than me. The ones that go through life with apparent ease despite the uncertainty. They don't seem to have any doubt, they are not tense and they don't linger in regret.

Those people gave me a lesson that I want to share with you.

I find this is the key to all the questions I had before, if you implement this idea into your life it has the potential to change everything.

This was my discovery:

**All confident decision-makers believe their decision is the best available to them at this moment.**

Stop for a second and read it again. If you are not too impressed just wait. You will know why this is relevant in just a moment.

There are two key phrases in this sentence.

They believe their decision is the best **avaliable to them** at **this moment**.

Available to them means they see reality. They are not thinking about options that are completely disconnected from their current reality. They are very aware of where they stand and the general direction in which they want to move their life. Self-awareness is the key to this. They know if the thing they are after is more freedom, more money, better relationships, and in which order. In other words: they know their values.

Plus they believe there is a link between their current state and their desired state. It doesn't matter that they don't know all the steps or if they start from zero. They just need to know the starting point and the end. Most likely they won't start from zero because they have learned to play to their strengths.

Many of us undervalue what we have. We write and think: what I write does not compare with what others write. Maybe writing is not the skill you have right now. Maybe your skill now is that you are a great reader. Maybe your skill is that you can think logically. Start with that. You are never starting from zero. Being a good reader and thinking logically is a strong start in order to become a good writer. Don't confuse the two.

The resources you have might be the people you know. Knowing someone is a great resource. If your cousin has an exciting life as a freelancer that is something you have. You can get access to a person who seems to know how to lead an exciting life while freelancing. That person is easily available to you. Having access to the right person is something incredibly valuable.

Confident decision-makers are very aware of their experiences, whatever they are. If they had to deal with an older sister growing up, that is something they have. That experience showed them how to communicate with older people, how to solve problems together, and how to play as a team. All experiences in life can be used in our favor if we see them from the right angle.

This is an important aspect of making a choice. A choice starts with who you are now. We cannot pull it out of the ether. 'Know Thyself' was carved into stone at the entrance to Apollo's temple for a reason. It's pretty much impossible to decide if you don't know yourself. If you don't know what you have, if you undervalue it or if you choose to ignore it. Never ignore what you have and what is important to you. Knowing it is 50% of the equation.

Now the second part.

They believe their decision is the best available for them at **this moment**.

This is about living in the now and recognizing that this moment is all we have. Confident decision-makers make their decisions quickly. As quickly as they can. 

Overthinkers like me have a false belief. "If I spend just a little more time I will make a better decision. Why rush it if it's important?". Don't make my mistake. You will never find enough time. You will quickly find yourself with too many choices and more questions than answers.

To solve this issue I know a fantastic tool. It is called a deadline. A good deadline keeps the momentum going. We just need to pick a date and commit ourselves to choose. Even if we don't feel fully confident when our time is up we will place a bet.

People who make their choices with ease know that limited information is never a problem. Choosing is simple because they know:

1. they can pivot 
2. they can learn

The worst mistake would be to lose the momentum not to pick the wrong thing.

The whole process is simple.

**Set a deadline -> recognize yourself -> look for options -> choose**

The last two steps are just a natural consequence of the first two steps. Choosing is the effect of a setting deadline, looking for options is the effect of knowing yourself and having to choose. And that is all you need. Once the choice is made there is no looking back. If you find a better opportunity in the future go through the process again.

Thanks for reading and I hope you find it helpful.

If you want to continue learning about choices I will recommend to you:

- [A practical approach to making choices by former poker professional Annie Duke](https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Annie-Duke/dp/0735216355)
- [A fantastic TED talk by psychologist Ben Schwartz about the paradox of choice](https://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_the_paradox_of_choice?language=en)
- [A great article about deliberation by Nate Soares, MIRI executive director](https://mindingourway.com/deliberate-once/)