A Mental Health Journey as a Software Engineer
Tags: mental, health, software, engineer
Published: 2022-01-17 05:13:03

---
title: A Mental Health Journey as a Software Engineer
published: true
description: Software engineering requires a lot of mental heavy lifting. To become a better engineer, I needed to heal mentally. 
tags: mental, health, software, engineer
cover_image: https://res.cloudinary.com/farheezyx3/image/upload/v1642354195/Blog%20Pictures/mental-health-post/cover-image.jpg
---

This year, I turn 26. Believe it or not, this is actually a milestone year. At age 26, [a child is no longer eligible to be on their parents’ insurance](https://www.hhs.gov/healthcare/about-the-aca/young-adult-coverage/index.html). I'm privileged enough to have insurance options provided by my employer but this is not the case for everyone. In the U.S., medical costs can be a huge burden to people who don't get insurance benefits from their employer or are unemployed.

I’m writing for the people who want to take their health seriously including physical: dental, vision, dermatology for example, and especially mental health.

Software engineering requires a lot of mental heavy lifting. Work is constantly with me because my thoughts and logical reasonings live inside of my head. 

To become a better engineer, a better me and to live a better life, I needed to heal mentally. 

![Screenshot of a tweet that says everyone talks about how instagram is bad for mental health but what about jira by user ikasliwal](https://res.cloudinary.com/farheezyx3/image/upload/v1636511659/Blog%20Pictures/mental-health-post/Jira-joke.png)

## Different methods I've tried to improve my mental health

### Therapy 

I always said to myself that it's time to get therapy. Enough is enough, stop putting it off for later.
Through my insurance’s website, I looked up the in-network therapists. After reading some descriptions, I contacted one to express my interest.
I scheduled a call and they informed me the first step is the [intake session](https://thecounselinghub.com/news/clearing-up-the-process-the-intake-session) where the therapist can get to know me and my needs and see what is best fit. It started off with the necessities like my basic information and contacts. Then the doctor asked me what was my reason for seeking out therapy.

**Me**: I’ve been having a lot of stress from work and I’ve had anxiety since I was maybe 13. I feel like they’re playing hand in hand now so I wanted to finally address it

**Her**: What event happened at age 13?

**Me**: ummm my parents got divorced

**Her**: Yeah. That most likely started the anxiety. 

**Me**: oh. ok

**Me inside my head**: asdfghjkl WHAT!

From this seemingly nonchalant call, I already got a revelation. It’s been over 10 years. Surely I had gotten over the divorce, right? Right??? At this point, I knew I made the right call to seek out counseling services. 

#### Outcomes
At the end of every call with my counselor, without fail, I feel lighter. I feel energized and it feels like a load has been taken off my shoulders. I get to talk about my worries and what's been stressing me out. It feels nice to let things go without being judged. 

### Meditation
There are a ton of benefits that meditation has to offer. It [reduces stress, increases your attention span and helps with cultivating positive feelings towards yourself.](https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/12-benefits-of-meditation)

To help me meditate, I use the [Calm app](https://www.calm.com/). There's a lot of content to help me sleep and settle down any rising anxiety. 

When I feel particularly stressed or when my heart beats a little too fast, I do a breathing technique:
```
1. Take a deep inhale for a 4 second count
2. Hold the breath for 4 seconds
3. Exhale 
4. Repeat as necessary
```

#### Outcomes
My tense shoulders start to relax and my heart slows down to a steady beat after several breathes. My head clears up and I'm able to tackle the day with a better mindset. 

### Physical Health
Taking care of your physical health compounds onto mental health. [Increased energy levels](https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/exercise-and-mental-health) lets you do the things you enjoy for longer and exercising is even better when you can do it with others.  

I've been trying new activities that I haven't done before like snowboarding and rock scrambling. I aim to walk at least 10,000 steps daily and I try to squeeze in some vegetables into my meals.

#### Outcomes
I remember playing volleyball with my friends. I realized in the middle of it that I wasn't out of breath. The realization was euphoric. I was able to enjoy playing without having to pause and I had a blast.

## Final notes

By no means does this blog post mean that I figured out the secret formula to mental health nor does it mean my mental health is now perfect. 

My mental health journey is far from complete. There's still a lot of things I need to work on and I admit I have some self sabotaging habits that impact myself and my relationships with others. However, practicing these small, positive actions into my daily routine has been very beneficial.

But of course, sometimes all you need is to lay in bed all day and watch Netflix. And that's okay.

Now more than ever, we need to standardize taking care of ourselves mentally. The pandemic is not in your control but how you treat yourself is.

## Resources
- [Mental Health Resources by Healthline](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health-resources)
- [The Healthy Programmer by Joe Kutner](https://pragprog.com/titles/jkthp/the-healthy-programmer/)
- [Top 8 Programmer Hobbies](https://www.raywenderlich.com/862-top-8-programmer-hobbies)
- [Medium: If You Work a Desk Job, You Must Try This Mobility Routine!](https://medium.com/in-fitness-and-in-health/if-you-work-a-desk-job-you-must-try-this-mobility-routine-4aad34462f57)