Nevertheless, Angelfirenze Coded in 2022
Tags: wecoded, emotionalhealth, physicalhealt, mentalhealth
Published: 2022-03-21 17:47:23

## My biggest technical goals are…

I want to graduate from my dream undergraduate school, the University of Michigan, and then graduate from my absolute dream school, The University of Michigan Medical School with degrees in Computer Science and Forensic Pathology.

## My biggest technical achievements are…

1) Getting out of bed and typing code at a desk, while in a lot of pain.

2) Learning Git and writing HTML/CSS from memory.

## I pledge to break the bias in tech by…

Not assuming that since I'm black (mixed ancestry, really), I won't get anywhere in tech because I'm not a stereotypical nerdy white man.  Not assuming that since I'm autistic, epileptic, and other neurodiverse in other ways, when people find out, I will always be thrown in the trash can as a possible candidate.

## Throughout my career (as a software developer, in tech, etc), I have overcome…

I don't know if learning without being paid counts as a career, but I'm in my ninth year of programming anything at all, so I'll take it.  I wish I'd stuck with learning Ruby at the very start of my Team Treehouse career, but learning (continuing, really) HTML/CSS consciously instead of writing on Livejournal and not knowing I was writing stylesheets or an entire page of HTML/CSS for my thefanlisting.org memberships (a twelve hour focus session that I've been avoiding rewriting ever since).

Going to programming events with my sister while she was in my life and facilitated those things because she knows how to network and I simply don't.  

She has a lot of social contacts and is an extrovert, but she also has issues that she's not addressing and whether it's 'her business' or not, she's affecting me every day with her choices.  Unconsciously, I am that stereotypical twin, I suppose, although I wouldn't want to call being a twin a stereotype it fits because I honestly DO experience her feelings if I'm in her vicinity to the point where I have consciously worried about why I'm so upset.  She apparently does not experience this.

## Advocating for myself looks like…

Speaking up on Discord when I got lambasted in a server for leaving my group in a lurch one night when I in fact had a seizure and lost consciousness until the next day.  I was treated like crap to the point where a new member of the server actually messaged me to tell me that they couldn't believe I was being treated that way and how ableist everyone was being when I TOLD them I had a seizure.

I'm still personally astonished that I had to send the mod a Wikipedia link on seizures because he actually said to me that if I think I'm going to have a seizure that day, to let everyone know so they can plan accordingly.  I was completely floored at that level of ignorance -- like, wow, this guy actually thinks seizures are so kind as to give me a little tap and request to speak to me privately in the morning?  Seriously?  I'm still floored, actually.

This year was actually a lot harder because I don't know what's happening to me right now, but it's been so debilitating that I spend a lot of time in bed.  It's made me think of situations in the past where I've experienced excruciating pain that doesn't have a blatantly obvious cause.  I want to set up a wireless keyboard in my bedroom to try to circumvent these problems, but I unfortunately have to just wait until I can buy  a VGA/HDMI adapter. I have it priced.

## I pledge to support women, non-binary folks, and other minorities in tech by…

Continuing to be one?  I was told that I advocate for myself very well, so I can do that for others by focusing on what they need and what resources I can use to help them achieve goals with tools I might know about that they might not.

## I’m excited about…

Finally feeling qualified to participate in #Hacktoberfest2022   and finally getting involved with #22PullRequests2022 on time, so I can actually submit twenty-two pull requests by Christmas.  I know I need to focus on Linux and Docker, so I can work with Appwrite and other projects.

When I discussed my Imposter Syndrome on the Appwrite Discord server, I was told that it was because I wanted to learn as much as possible and that, unconsciously, I know a lot and can do it, but I always want to improve myself.  That was very comforting and I'd like to pass along that sort of vibe and help others feeling the same way.