Big, Long, Sappy Graduation Post
Tags: beginners, programming
Published: 2021-12-13 23:41:12

I wanted to write an extremely non-technical post, processing 2021 as it rolls to a close, and focusing primarily on my recent graduation from Flatiron School's software engineering part-time (and full-time for a bit) bootcamp. There's a TON of gratitude I want to express that I don't think would fit particularly well on a Linked-In post. I also wanted to examine the point in which I bottomed out and let myself get to a pretty dark place, in hopes that it may help someone reading this to relate. And some of it will just be processing a wild year personally- so fair warning, if it seems like a self-indulgent life story, just smash that 'X' button in the top right corner!

I applied for Flatiron School's program late in 2020- a time that obviously affected everyone's life in ways that couldn't have been predicted. For me, as someone who dedicates a lot of energy to music and performing, it was a double-edged sword- I got a break from some of the burnout from playing out/touring a lot, and I got to take a rest and reset I never would've afforded myself on my own. However I naturally felt a bit lost and that I was lacking something critical to my identity. Professionally, I had been working in the same industry (glass tile manufacturing, operations) since I was a teenager, and I felt more and more compelled to escape my comfort zone. I also recently got engaged in October 2020, so suddenly the future didn't seem like such a distant, abstract thing to think about and plan for. I had the tremendous privilege of learning that baby bonds my extended family got me back in the day for birthdays, christenings, etc. had matured, and it would be just enough to live off of while I went back to school- so that was it: I would invest in myself and put the wheels in motion to make a career change into a field that I already had a growing interest. I can't thank the friends of mine that work in software engineering enough for encouraging me and telling me I was capable, that boost made an enormous difference to this (at the time) total beginner.

I had this great, neat, tidy plan for how I would succeed in the Flatiron course- it was January '21, it was the freezing cold months of the year here in NY, and so much was still closed with no clear end in sight. It made for an ideal situation to bury myself in the material for a relatively short amount of time, and be graduated and certified by early Summer. Even after the prep work, once the course started going I found it extremely fast paced and I wasn't looking like I was going to make the First Mile deadlines to continue in the class. I hadn't quite come out of my shell to ask for help and collaborate until it was too late- I had this self-damaging feeling of not belonging, and the idea that everyone knew all the answers while I was grasping at straws. But I felt motivated to succeed in a new cohort with the experience I gained in that short time. Once I started with my new classmates I had a much better handle on how to get through the course work, and was part of an unbelievable community. My cohort leads Laura Berge and Eri Guzman were amazing teachers that effortlessly curated a positive learning experience, and I gained fantastic friendships from many of the talented students going through the course with me.

During the week of my first module final project, my fiancee Kassidy and I got some unfortunate news that would punch a hole in my simple plan to hunker down during the full-time course. The brownstone we were renting an apartment in had been sold, and the new owners were going to renovate. That meant entering the sane, logical world of New York City real estate (<- pure, refined sarcasm). Not ideal, but I had classmates in the same boat. The challenges crept up from keeping up with the course (Sinatra at the time) and keeping up on listings, keeping appointments with real estate agents, and having to weigh pros and cons of prospective apartments at lightning speed so as to not miss out (we missed out on a few places by a matter of minutes). Well we found a nice place it seemed, and it offered us even more amenities- why not upgrade if we gotta go through the hassle? So then it was juggling lessons and lectures with packing up our things and coordinating the move, which I would do myself with the help of our respective families (lockdown had them a little stir crazy and they insisted). It was exhausting as hell, but we started settling in. There was a week delay for setting up our new internet, so I would commute every day then to our gutted old apartment to have wifi to work with. It did not make for a great environment to concentrate and my work suffered, but I grinded through the best I could. 

At the same time, the world was starting to open up from lockdown. My musical obligations weren't the slow build I had in mind, but more like a dam bursting. The band I had played in since high school, toured extensively in, and poured myself into, had finished a record over the pandemic and now had no choice but to play shows to push it, before we decided to call it quits. I had started my own project to stay productive in quarantine, and that was starting to become active. Plus, a more established band had been trying to acquire my abilities for a little while prior, and had doubled down- pay guarantees, international touring, dates as tour support for Joan Jett...aka the type of thing that you work towards as a musician. They were recording a full-length at Little Steven's (Springsteen, the Sopranos, Underground Garage, etc) and requested that I be the featured guitarist. So these 3 music projects were competing for my nights and weekends, and the move had already knocked me back a little bit in my studies. I had picked up some work because expenses were piling up and I was getting concerned about my modest nest-egg getting me through. And in settling in to our new home, we had the unfortunate realization that the place was a mistake- an awful, hateful building management company that reneged on parts of their agreement, plus insufferable neighbors to have to share our (poorly insulated) building with. 

At this point, I was eating poorly, sleeping terribly from stress, falling behind in the daily assignment pace, and struggling to balance my music workload, while knowing that just giving them up was not an option without major repercussions. That scrappy mentality to work through coding problems and frustrations I'd had early on had started eroding. I struggled all through the Rails module, had not yet passed a review for my project, and the following course unit was already well in progress. I was exhausted from our 2-front war against a negligent building management and entitled, inconsiderate neighbors. That sick, self-destructive voice inside me had become louder and louder, telling myself how inevitable it was that I'd crash and burn. Something absolutely had to give. 

I had an intense meeting with my cohort lead, Laura, and she once again proved to be an excellent educator with my best interests in mind- she recommended initiating a move to the part-time program. It was like both a kick in the teeth and a weight lifting off of me at once. I still had to prove my abilities in a Rails review, but I felt energized. I would have more time to internalize the information, and could pick up some more work concurrently- my original idea of a nice, convenient bubble to study in turned out to be an absurd pipedream, so I may as well adapt. I passed my Rails review and was subsequently placed in my part-time cohort, where I reunited with some friends I had made from the school making the same switch. Still, it felt disappointing to be so close to the finish line and get the clock turned back so significantly.

Kassidy and I decided to be proactive, since our living situation had turned out to be a bust. Our environment was terrible, it was a laughable mockery of a 'home', and it was negatively affecting both of us. We asked out of the lease. The landlord miraculously agreed (he could rent it at a higher rate with less pandemic nervousness than earlier, likely the only driving force behind their agreeing). It was a risk, because we had to go BACK into the rental market, just a few short months later and with sharply rising costs. We'd passed the point of no return and needed a new place ASAP- we aggressively pursued a listing and got the place- this time we emptied the piggybank for movers to do it for us and let us keep a little shred of sanity. I was re-settling into a new place for the 2nd time in a few months while getting through the final module, and thankfully the (slightly) more forgiving pace of the course in part-time let me keep up and nail the final project. 

Barely a week after passing my final review, I'd be on a plane to Sweden. The band I was hired to play in had a run of dates from Malmo to Stockholm, with some recording dates in Stockholm's Old Town district. There I met friends for life and made incredible memories doing what I love. It was a whirlwind and felt life-affirming after overcoming the challenges of the Flatiron course. 

Now I'm entering a new job market into the new year, and I feel armed with confidence from overcoming a challenging bootcamp- so much code that I've written would have made my earlier self cross-eyed and I overcame problems I previously wouldn't have known where to even begin. My biggest takeaway isn't that now I magically know everything, but that I have the ability to absorb the information and continue learning in a vast field. And I'm armed with an amazing network of people that each did their part and helped steer this rickety, metaphorical vessel along to its destination.

Next blog post will be 100% technical, but until then I'd like to thank the talented, awesome people that helped me by name.

My dev friends outside of school who each took a look at my code and each helped me along tremendously: Conor Leeds, Rob Notwicz, Maggie Curtis, Joe Giralt, Justin Michaliga

My teachers and support staff at Flatiron, y'all made an amazing learning environment for someone who hadn't been in a formal class setting in a decade and a half: Laura Berge, Eri Guzman, DJ Ritchey, Gretchen Stamp, and Mark Strozik

And my classmates- I cannot stress enough how valuable great classmates were for me: Jazo, Lupita, Elias, Jill, Zack, Connor, Zoe, Anthony, Edward, Nicoll, Kyle, Lydia, Maxine, Sav, Luis, Richard, Erick (probably more that I'm rudely forgetting)- thanks for an awesome experience. It was a blast becoming friends with all of you and I look forward to all our your inevitable success stories in coding!