Life Lessons : The Fourth Passenger
Tags: psychology, motivation, leadership, career
Published: 2021-12-31 08:20:31



I have dropped the pen for a while but looking at the stacks of UN-shared life lessons and write ups !
I have to share this and lighten the vessel .

**The fourth passenger** is borne out of a whole lot of personal and virtual experiences, I really hope y'all able to get the message !

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I boarded an "along" vehicle ,
Four passengers are to be at the back seat.

Though, I am very sure the back seat was originally designed to accommodate 3 passengers , but you know, prices of things have gone up!, even the drivers need to make ends meet and NURTW does not apparently care about the welfare of passengers
(if at all they ever did).
So they stuff the back seats with 4 passengers!


Well, on this particular day,
I was the third passenger,
It was barely convenient for us even before **the fourth passenger** joined us.

The driver drove on with the hope of getting **the fourth passenger** along the way.

I could not contain the thought of a **fourth passenger** joining us, it would be worse !

So, I decided to pay for the **fourth** (vacant) seat but I kept this plan to myself and stayed mute.

Keeping mute is not so nice but cunningly smart …..
You can't blame me too,
We are all saving cost ! 😂.
No one knew my intention of paying for the fourth seat, 
We kept moving !

**This is the exact plan…**

I was actually waiting ….. to see if the driver would be able to make **efforts** to find a **fourth passenger** to shove to the back seat.

You know, that would determine my next line of action .
If he happens to find a **fourth passenger**, then,
I will reveal my intention of paying for the extra (fourth) seat 💺 ….. 😞!
And If he does not find any, I will just "throway face" and continue to enjoy the "free-spaced" ride.!

Well, …..

> That's exactly how lot of things are in life !
> I have seen several life scenarios based exactly on this model!

Lotta people are waiting to see
** "if you would make it"
"If you could do it"
"If you could achieve it"**

Before proffering their (long) "**due**" responsibilities, duties, and help ….

I have seen it played out a lot in life,
Lot of people would only step in to help you, do the right thing they needed to have done, only when they discovered you have been able to pull through without their actions and or in-actions.

Some people are denied their due benefits 'cause they were thought undeserving, or they have not made enough efforts.

Some are waiting to see if you are "worth" it, or whether you deserved it according to their own criteria before giving it to you!

As far as I was concerned ,
The driver **did not worth** getting paid for a passenger he has not found until he actually got one.

Lot of people won't help you until you have made a positively resulted efforts.

That's why your rich uncle or friend might not help you with your educational pursuit until you study hard and you graduate!
You know, that's a point when you can actually do without their involvement!

That's why your company won't promote you at the due time until you work so much on yourself till they see other companies bidding for you.

In relationships,
A lot of people don't value or rate their partners until their partners are valued by someone more than them!
It's not like people really want to step in and assist you, they will only be forced to do so when they know you have grown to a level you can do without their so called assistance.

Psychologically, some people find it easier to help those that don't actually need the help, than the actual needy ones !

The baseline message is
**TRY,
make EFFORTS ,
Help yourself ,
Build yourself **
Try your best on your own without necessarily depending on a virtual or promised help anywhere!

Lot of people would proffer lot of helps, advices , assistances when you are already up there, when you technically don't really need their assistance and you will just wonder where were all these before you got here !

I can keep on with so many examples and (not personal) experiences ..

I was a newbie on some stuffs , 
I really needed some one to just put me through but my supposed helper (maybe sincerely)was too busy! 
But he came back looking for me to help me when he knew I have been able to get them fixed!

I needed a setup from a friend,
He didn't give me, by the time he learnt I have made research and found an alternative and sure source of getting the same setup !
He proffered the same aid I earlier requested!

The company I worked with delayed my promotion but swept to action when they got the news of a bigger company fixing a virtual appointment meeting with me .

A lot !
Some scenarios are just too ridiculous!

If you don't make (right) efforts to put your self up, No body will rate you !
Make (right) efforts !
Make efforts to get your **fourth passenger** and you would be surprised at how many were **willing** to pay for the fourth seat!
The fourth passenger ~ amfstacks
✍️🙏🏽