Dealing with Imposter Syndrome
Tags: beginners, motivation
Published: 2023-08-11 03:34:56

Beginning something new is always difficult. Coding is like learning a new language and trying to think in a different way in the new language--at the same time. My journey with coding so far has been rife with imposter syndrome; I feel that I am unqualified(true at the moment) and that I cannot become qualified(a self-fulfilling prophecy I am struggling against). The most optimistic approach to dealing with imposter syndrome is to wholeheartedly believe in one's own intrinsic capabilities and disbelieve in the possibility of failure. This approach, depending on one's confidence and actual learning capacity, may be a suitable approach. In my case, I am too aware of the fact that I learn more slowly than others and have failed at enough things to follow take the aforementioned approach to dealing with imposter syndrome. 
What to do? Give up? If I did, then I would fulfill the prophecy of failure that I have imagined. If anything worthwhile is to be achieved in this life, it must be achieved through pain and struggle. The viable option in my case is to frankly acknowledge that success is not a guarantee, but continuing to strive anyway despite self-doubts. I am inspired by a quote from Theodore Roosevelt's 1899 speech, "The Strenuous Life":

> Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.

What words to live by. Though I do not want to cultivate an unrealistic belief that I am capable of achieving anything (I am not), or that I will be the best at whatever I attempt (I will not), I have taken to heart the belief that it is better to work hard and let the outcome be what it may. This mentality releases me from the stress of trying to control outcomes, which cannot be directly chosen. Instead, it is by doing the things that I can control--dedicating myself to study, practicing what I have studied, and by seeking advice from those smarter and more experienced than myself--that I can increase the odds of getting the outcome I desire. It is this dedication to the mundane and dogged persistence that makes people truly great. Thomas Edison said "Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration." Likewise, Albert Einstein said "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer." 

Though I cannot guarantee what the outcome ultimately will be from these studies, failure that follows strenuous effort is in my opinion far preferable to fearful stagnation. 

Given that it is the mundane actions which are in our control and which are the primary determinants of success or failure, attention should be given to carrying them out. One simple, widely known, and only sometimes practiced principle is to focus on one day at a time, one task at a time. Though it is simple to understand, it is difficult in practice. I want to project myself into the future and worry about what I will have achieved by that point. However, it is a far more useful application of brain power to focus the present.

In the present, one needs to focus on establishing rituals for success. Having a set time and location to study makes it easier to switch gears from relaxation to work. Another is making sure to get enough rest. This is one of my favorite tips for success because sleeping is pleasant and making time for it is the the only significant challenge. Making sure to ask plenty of questions is important as well. Beginning with the pre-work, I was reluctant to seek help and this led to long periods of frustration and little action. I have been seeking assistance from my peers and from instructors, which has greatly aided the learning process. Taking breaks is important as well. I tried studying for long periods of time without taking any breaks. Not only was this unpleasant, my productivity also suffered. It is not easy to continue studying intensively without making time for rest and leisure. 

Learning something new is rarely an easy process, and imposter syndrome can make it worse. One can choose optimism, grim determination, or giving up to cope with these feelings. Though the going is difficult, I have been trying to do the small things right and hopefully that will pay off in the end. No matter what happens, it will be preferable to have tried and failed rather than never to have attempted. As Shakespeare said, "Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win, By fearing to attempt". The biggest challenge is to acknowledge my fears but not to be overcome by them.