Stop listening to your parents.
Published: 2023-07-04 17:03:20

---
title: Stop listening to your parents.
published: true
date: 2023-06-10 16:55:51 UTC
tags: 
canonical_url: https://blog.afrieirham.com/stop-listening-to-your-parents
---

Clickbaity title? Yes.

But hear me out.

**Your parents are not perfect.**

They're humans, they make mistakes, they have biases.

For context, I'm writing this because I just experience some "unsolicited advice" after I told them about me going to the gym.

> "...whatever you do, don't take steroids, and don't take (powdered) protein."

When I heard "steroids", I laughed a bit. I was like "duhh?", don't worry, I'll never do that.

But the second one about protein, is the reason why I'm writing this.

While I have no intentions of consuming powdered protein, as per my parent's advice, (if my parents reading this, don't worry 🤧) it did "trigger" me a bit.

I don't think there's anything wrong with proteins, I have seen a lot of people including my friends take those and are doing fine.

But that's when I realized, that was _my_ experience and that's why _I_ have those pov.

My parents might come from a different place. They might've saw other people take protein and ruin their bodies. They might've read or heard somewhere about how powdered protein is bad for us. Or they simply are confused and thought that powdered protein _is_ steroids.

At the end of the day, the advice itself comes from a good place. They want the best for me.

But their experiences might be different from ours. Thus the radical-sounding advice from my pov.

* * *

That wasn't the only case though. There was a time when I was talking about financial stuff with my dad and he straight up said "don't take loans to invest (with ASBF)".

> For those who don't know, ASBF is an investment instrument in Malaysia where we took a loan from banks and use that money to invest.
> 
> I know it sounds super fishy especially if you're not Malaysian but I assure you it's legit. It's one thing unique about Malaysia.

And that really raised my eyebrows after hearing that.

While I don't claim myself as a financial guru whatsoever, I have done my research about it and as always those instruments aren't inherently _bad_.

It depends on your financial goals, risk appetite, financial situation and so on if you're thinking about doing it as do everything else.

But hearing my dad forbid me from even thinking about taking it is something that really puts me off.

So I asked why.

And he said "I've seen your uncle who's done that, stops halfway, and has lost a lot of money. I don't think it's something you should consider doing at all."

And again that's when I realized our experiences are different which causes our opinion of it to be very different.

And again, the same thing about where those bits of advice are coming from, it's from a good place.

My dad probably doesn't want to see me lose tons of money trying out risky "investments" that have been proven wrong time and time again, at least from his pov.

* * *

So look, I'm not saying you should ignore everything that your parents are saying. I'm just saying you should be wary of where it's coming from and understand why it is that way.

Because not everything your parents say is 100% correct.

Sometimes the things they don't want you to do can be good for you.

They might be wrong, they might be right.

You as an adult should be able to evaluate it yourself and if you're not sure whether you're right or wrong be curious.

You can ask your parents why they think of it that way, then you can re-evaluate your thoughts on it again until you are satisfied.

You can also just "test it out".

Say for example I'm not sure if taking steroids is good or bad for me (read: it's bad). I can simply try it out to see whether I'm right or not.

If I'm right then great.

If I'm wrong...that's great too.

You just need to be prepared to hear "I told you so" if you're wrong though, haha.

In both cases, I learned something new.

Now, before you think "testing it out" is irresponsible, you should remember that you should only "test" stuff out if you're not sure whether it's right or wrong.

...after you've done your research.

If you know something is obviously wrong, then don't do it.

If you're not sure but a lot of evidence is pointing towards "you're wrong", don't do it.

You should only "test" out stuff you're not sure about, and the goal is to get answers.

If you know or see a lot of evidence suggesting it's wrong and you still want to do it that is irresponsible.

Also, when you're testing out stuff and turns out you're wrong and really bad stuff happen, don't feel bad.

You're not intentionally trying to harm anyone, you're just curious and trying to learn. I think you should be proud of it.

So yeah, don't listen to your parents' advice blindly, be curious, question it, and then make your own conclusions.

* * *

And oh, this article is not just about advice from parents, it could be from anyone, about anything.

Including this very article, try to understand where my advice coming from, and do your own research.