Chasing Chaos: The Joker's Madness
Published: 2024-02-29 19:06:41

---
title: Chasing Chaos: The Joker's Madness
published: true
date: 2023-11-09 17:03:37 UTC
tags: 
canonical_url: https://blog.supunsathsara.com/chasing-chaos-the-jokers-madness
---

My favorite character is the Joker. Why? Why on the earth a sane person would love something so screwed up so damaged? It is not even a positive things, Joker is a villain in a story. Why would someone love joker?

If you love someone, there should be a fire in that love. Not something mediocre but something so intense so fierce that it will burn everything down, burn everyone down. Only thing that should withstand that flame is the person you love. If your love is not burning as fire, then there is no reason to be in that relationship.

I too want to love and want to love so extremely that it will burn the world down. The only problem with this is sometimes it will burn yourself or the person you love. If the person you love is not in that extreme position where he or she can handle the fire, itll come back and burn you to the core.

My mistake in loving is, its just too extreme, too intense. I want to know what is going on, I want to care as much as I can; I want to see my loved one healthy, fine, and happy. I do give that person pre-approval of everything; I do hold her above and higher from everyone, from everything. Everything and everyone will come second to her. Every time she requests something, she wants something, she needs something will be before the world. Friends will have to take a backseat. If I get time I would want to spend it with the person I love. But these fires that Im talking about, the more intensely you do it, and the more you love in return you would want the same love. You would want the same fire. If love becomes that extreme you will be involved in that other persons life too much.

Space! Such a simple word. But in this word the entire universe is situated. When you are involved with such fire, such passion, such love you will suffocate the person you love and the person you love will want space. It means stay back, relax, let me be me, I dont want that attention, I dont want that much involvement from you. Why cant you treat me like someone else?

My mistake is I want to be pre-approved. I want to stay in a higher ground than others. I want to be treated more than a friend. I should be more than a friend. I want a burning flame all around me. I want to burn with the intensity of love. I dont want to treat someone else and the person I love in the same way. I dont want to be treated equally. I dont want to be ignored. Not even for a fraction of a second. But these are my mistakes. These are too much to ask. One should never ask for such things, one should never get so involved that the other person is suffocated with all the smoke from the fire. One should just stay back and relax.

My world doesnt work like that. In my world love has a different meaning and as someone told me sometimes it takes more than love to be with someone. I kept asking for more than love. I kept asking for the fire to burn me.

As the hole becomes apart I strike to burn but the flame returns.

It hurts. Burning in your own flame, it hurts. All the ignorance you faced in love and in life, all the disappointment, the painful feeling when your loved one tell you you suffocate me, the hurt you get for loving someone more than love and yet you are asked to take a step back. Its too much to take.

You know why I love joker? Because he is mad. He is the only person who can have fun even when someone is striking him down even when he is hurt. He is mad. Madness is the emergency exit. You can step outside and, close all the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away forever.


_Note: This is a post I found on social media a few years back and I can't recall exactly from where. I saved this to my diary back then and I just wanted to share this because this hits so hard and I can relate to this so much. So even though I'm not the original writer, this feels like me._ ❤️‍🩹