It is just work
Tags: burnout, learning, productivity
Published: 2024-03-26 15:42:40

There isn't a magic solution to burnout. We all have different aspirations, goals, motivations and sources of stress. 
This is a short tale of how I changed my perspective, and by doing that, managed to handle my burnout.

**What do we get from our jobs, apart from the obvious? 💸**

A sense of accomplishment and worth. All of us are, to some degree, defined by our work. How can we not be? We have a need to prove ourselves, to progress our career, to be the best at what we do, to be recognized and valued for our contributions. More often than not, we spend more time at work than we do with our families.

This is a slippery slope if you ask me, because, what if the job we do requires more from us than we are capable of giving? Do we just accept that? Do we decide that things will get better in time and it was just a temporary setback due to some underlying cause that might not even be related to our capabilities? Do we tell ourselves we are doing the best we can and everything will work out in the end?

I don't. At least I didn't. 

Instead, I felt like a failure. But, fear not! The solution is simple. Just put in some extra hours, get more things done by bringing your problems home and it will get better and your effort will be recognized. Right?

Once I reached the point of feeling like I'm losing ground beneath my feet, no amount of extra hours made me feel less like and impostor that should not be here and will be found out at any second.

And then I realized. I was never found out. That means that either I'm the best impostor that ever was, or that I hold myself to an impossible standard.

**🌟 Little milestones**

I started my first job as a software engineer while I was still at college. Everything was a challenge, and an interesting puzzle I had to solve. As fun as it was to play detective, I noticed that it didn't stop when I went home. Some background process was always running. It became tiring. Colleagues assured me that it is "normal" and "natural", because that "is the job". And I believed them for a while.

But why should it be "normal" or "natural". I never signed up to spend all my time working, actively or passively. So, my first attempt to avoid this was to stay at work until I finish whatever it was that I started. This resulted in quite a bit of overtime, but it did the trick. Then it evolved into not even starting anything that I know I cannot finish before the end of the day. And that is something I still do to this day - but I built on it a little.

Instead of thinking of each ticket as a whole, I'm thinking of each ticket as a little project on its own. This way, even though the ticket is not yet done, 3 out of 4 whole milestones are done, it is 5 pm and I can close my laptop and not think about it until tomorrow.

**💚 Take care of yourself**

Listen to yourself. If you need a break - take it. If you are sick, go on a sick leave and get back to 100%. And I mean 100%, not just barely good enough to survive. 
It is not illegal to go on sick leave, even though it might feel like it sometimes. Your colleagues will manage for a couple of days until you get that well deserved respite your body requires.
Same thing goes for holidays. Always have a holiday booked - have something to look forward to. It is important for ones productivity and well-being to regularly take time to rest and get away from everything.
World will not come to a halt if you are unable to can anymore.

**❗Do your best, but don't give your all**

And I can't stress this enough. Whenever I started a new job, I always had this need to prove myself, to show how much I can do. And that is amazing as long as you can keep delivering that rate all day, every day.

At first sign something is off, and your output falls, everyone is going to be super surprised and will expect of you to get back to "your old self" as soon as possible. This usually stressed me further causing my output to fall even lower until I had to take a couple of weeks off to recuperate.

So I decided that was not optimal or sustainable. I gave a little bit of effort into finding a pace that works for everyone. A pace that will not burn me out, that I can keep up consistently and that provides output at sufficient intervals. 

Then, when hypothetical s*it hits the fan, it is not such a problem to pull my weight and then some for a couple of weeks, and then lull back into my comfortable, productive pace that is not taking a toll on my health.

**🕔 It is just work**

Simple as that. Today it is this company, tomorrow it will be that company. We are essentially selling our time and skill to the best of our abilities to provide ourselves with means to do what we enjoy in our free time.

Best things in our life should be those that happen in the time we didn't sell. If we are not enjoying the time that is ours, if we are not spending it in a fulfilling way with people we love, then what are working for?

At the end of the day, it indeed is just work.