Say What? Communicating Through Developer Disagreements
Tags: technicaldebates, disagreements, perspectivesclash, empathy
Published: 2024-03-24 02:40:00

---
title: Say What? Communicating Through Developer Disagreements
published: true
description: Different experiences lead to different perspectives - this is a guide for developers on navigating disagreements with colleagues in an agreeable, emotionally intelligent way.
tags: #technicaldebates #disagreements #perspectivesclash #empathy 
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published_at: 2024-03-24 02:40 +0000
---
As software developers, effective communication is crucial for collaborating successfully with our teammates. 💻👩‍💻👨‍💻 [In the previous post](https://dev.to/pwalvarado/communication-for-developers-practical-examples-22-1o1a), we covered practical examples for sharpening fundamental communication skills like active listening 👂, clear expression 💬, empathy and respect. 🫶

However, even among colleagues making their best efforts, disagreements are inevitable. ⚖️ The tech world is full of differing opinions on languages, frameworks, architectures and approaches. 🔧 We all view issues through unique lenses shaped by experiences and backgrounds. 👓

Disagreements needn't be negative - diverse perspectives can lead to better outcomes when handled well. 🧩 But conflicts can quickly turn unproductive if not managed with care and emotional intelligence. 💔

This guide explores practical ways to handle disagreements while maintaining professionalism, respect and productivity: 💼

### Identifying the Root Issue: 🔍

**Practical examples:**
- Take a step back and objectively analyze the core disagreement without getting emotional. 
- Write down the key points of difference to clarify where perspectives diverge. ✍️
- Determine if it's a substantive issue worth resolving or just a misunderstanding. 🤷‍♀️

**Contrast (what not to do):**
- Immediately get defensive and dig your heels in on your position. 💥
- Make it personal by attacking the person rather than discussing the substantive issue. 🗣

**Frequent situation:** You and a colleague disagree on which programming language to use for a new project. 👨‍💻

### Choosing an Appropriate Time/Place: ⌚

**Practical examples:**
- Don't ambush your colleague, give them advance notice to prepare. 📫
- Find a neutral, private location away from distractions/onlookers. 🏞
- Ensure you both have adequate time set aside to discuss fully. ⏲

**Contrast (what not to do):**
- Confronting them when they are focused on coding and likely to get defensive. 🥷
- Airing the disagreement in front of the entire team before discussing privately. 👥

**Frequent situation:** There is disagreement over the architectural approach for a new system. 🏗

### Active Listening: 👂

**Practical examples:**
- Don't formulate rebuttals while they are speaking, just listen. 🤐
- Ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand their point of view. ❓
- Try to see it from their perspective based on experiences/assumptions. 🧠

**Contrast (what not to do):**
- Interrupting them frequently or not paying attention while they speak. 🙉
- Assuming you already know everything about their view. 🤯

**Frequent situation:** During a design review meeting, explaining different proposed approaches. 🖋

### Expressing Your View: 🗣

**Practical examples:**
- Use "I" statements not accusatory "you" statements. 👤
- Explain your reasoning and motivation, not just the position. 🧩
- Share impact to you/project, not just disagreement itself. 📈

**Contrast (what not to do):**
- Stating your view as an absolute fact, rather than an opinion. ✖️
- Getting personal or emotional rather than sticking to the substantive issue. 💥

**Frequent situation:** You need to push back on your colleague's coding practices that are impacting the project. ⌨️

### Seeking Compromise: 🤝

**Practical examples:**
- Explore creative compromise options that blend both perspectives. 🧩
- Be willing to have an open mind and change stance if convinced. 🤯
- Prioritize outcomes over egos if agreement cannot be reached. 🎯

**Contrast (what not to do):**
- Stubbornly refusing to compromise or consider other views. 😤
- Turning it into a battle of egos to "win" rather than find a solution. ⚔️

**Frequent situation:** There is a disagreement over which 3rd party library to use. 📦

### Follow Through: 🏁

**Practical examples:**
- Summarize action items and agreements to avoid misinterpretation. ✅
- Check in on execution of agreed solution and adjust if needed. 🔄
- Don't hold grudges, be professional and rebuild trust. 🤝

**Contrast (what not to do):**
- Leaving things unclear after the discussion. ❓
- Continually reopening the disagreement after resolution was reached. 🔄

**Frequent situation:** There was an initial disagreement, but you reached a compromise approach to move forward. 💻

The goal: Fight the issue, not each other ⚔️ through open, empathetic dialogue. Disagreements between colleagues are inevitable, so approach them with emotional maturity to harness differing insights for team success. 🌟

In Conclusion: Make Disagreements Productive 🔄

Disagreements are normal - we're passionate about our craft! 💻❤️ The key is handling differing views constructively to produce optimal solutions.

Remember, the goal isn't "winning" 🏆, it's combining unique viewpoints for the best collective outcome. 🥇 Compromising shows strength and collaboration.

So don't avoid disagreements, but don't escalate them needlessly either. Embrace them as growth opportunities. 📈 

With this mindset, we turn tensions into insights💡. Our differences make us stronger developers when channeled productively.

Next time you disagree, pause, center yourself 😮‍💨, and handle it with empathy, openness and respect. You've got this! 👍