My 5 Goals for 2024
Tags: motivation
Published: 2024-02-02 14:27:20

2023 was the worst year of my life. I graduated in December 2022 in computer science in the worst job market of all time for specifically computer science majors with 2024 not looking much better. 2023 were the tech layoffs and 2024 is starting them up again. I also severed a lot of relationships I had for years and I ended up spending the majority of 2023 completely alone, either trying to find employment or just trying to find a reason to stay alive. I know there are people who had it worst but today I am only going to think of me. I know I can do better than what I did in 2023. i don’t want to harp on that year too long, it’s time to forget about it and move on to the next year. That was also the reason I am a month late on writing this. my 2023 depression bled into 2024, it was that bad. I do feel a lot better than I did but there is still so much progress to make. I made this list for both you and me. Hopefully we both get better this year and here are my five goals for this year.

## Learn to love learning again.

Before going to university I truly enjoyed learning. I loved getting better and improving on the things I was interested in. At the time the main thing I was interested in was coding. That was the reason I even went to school because I believed that school could make me truly next level at it and to some extent I was correct. However going to school for learning that one single skill is not going to fly as the current way the school system is designed. 

Before going to school I taught myself how to code basic websites through youtube tutorials and I was learning at a very quick rate, the best way to learn something is to teach and I had the opportunity to do that with the social program I attended at the time too. I also taught myself some Japanese, I used to be famous for doing twitch streams where I would learn Japanese by reading manga online in Japanese, all I would do is look up words in the dictionary that i did not know, that would teach me new kanji through repetition and I would also learn sentence structure through the patterns of words and on top of that I was able to read things I really liked and still like today. I would also learn how to play the piano on my own a lot and even taught myself how to play a single song i loved at the time, i learned the chords of a piano and I learned the structure of how music is generated. 

With all that said, school has completely wiped that out of me. The way in which school is taught made the concept of learning so lifeless and draining. Although it did teach me the value of reading large textbooks for learning as opposed to watching youtube videos it did kill a lot of the fun of it for me which discouraged me personally a lot. It made it very difficult for me to find that love i had before. In 2024 I would like to rediscover that love I have for learning, I know it is still inside of me and I know I am capable of achieving anything I want. In spite of hating my experience in university i still was the only one of my roommates who even graduated. I went to school even if I had to quickly move out of the dorms, live through school through covid, fight my school on retaining my ability to attend online because I had housing issues and they didn’t care at all and would active antagonize me on it. I still saw it through to the end.  So I know that i can do things, I know I can love to learn again, and even now i am beginning to get that love of writing and creating back because I am making this list now. So in 2024 my goal is to get that love back. It’s honestly my top priority. 

## Build apps, websites, or programs you always wanted to.

This goal is a lot less heavy than the others. This is just a self satisfaction thing, there are things i always wanted as applications and I want to be the one to create them. Simple. I went through all the trouble of going to school to learn how to become a software engineer I want to actually put those skills into practice and as a huge bonus make things that I personally want to use regardless if other people want to use them or not. This is a wholly selfish endeavor that I want.

I guess since this goal will be short I will list some applications that I want to create.

The main application I want to focus on this year is my gaming backlog application, this application is one where I want to create a system to manage the video games in my library across all platforms. I want to make it so that it shows all my games from my steam, xbox, and playstation libraries. I want it to record when you first played it and I want it to record when you are done with that game. The thing i want it to do most of all is at the end of the year to show you all the games you played and ask you to rank your top 10 games of the year. I think that feature would be my favorite feature in any gaming application!

The next application I want to make is a discord bot similar to twitch plays pokemon but {your discord server} plays pokemon, i’m aware that nintendo will nuke my house if i make this available for everyone which is why I want to only make it for me and there would be several workarounds to make it available for anyone who wants it. But the main concept is that everyone in the server gets to play pokemon together through this bot, you all vote on the next move with the emotes and you’re either sent a screenshot of what is happening on discord or it is streaming on youtube or twitch while you all vote. This would only work on a server that is fairly active or where you have some friends who want to play with you.

The final application I want to make is a game, I really love video games as you can tell from the last two things I wanted to make are video game related. I want to make my own game, there is a game I have been wanting to make that is similar to splatoon but is more pve focused. You fight against hoards of enemies and solve puzzles, this game hasn’t been all the way thought out and it would take me forever to tell you all about it. I wanted to make this forever, I have concept art of it and the thing that is holding me back are getting 3d models and animations. I will make this game in the future, guaranteed. Nothing can stop me. 

These are just a few ideas i have had in my head I really want to make and if anyone wants to help or talk to me about how i can get closer to achieving this i would be very happy to, talk to me on discord or follow me on twitter and talk to me there. This kind of leads me to my next goal.

## Try to socialize more.

i have learned that I can spend endless time alone and really thoroughly enjoy it.  I know I like it and that I want more of it however I know I can’t be that indulgent on self satisfaction. I need to get out of my comfort zone. Life is about the relationships you have. it is necessary to build those relationships and maintain them. I want to develop new relationships, meet new people and I want to reach back and maintain relationships i have really neglected throughout the years being busy with other things and even being too self indulgent with my isolation. 

It is hard to say a lot about this because I know it may not be normal to be alone as much as I am but I now want to work my way out of it and hopefully find some really fulfilling relationships.

## Work towards building your company.

Before going to university I always knew i wanted to build my own company and after graduating into the horrible jobs market I did shows why it is kind of necessary to have your own source of supplemental income. No company or establishment will ever care about you in the slightest. The only one who will take care of you is the one where you have control of. This is not achieve-able for everyone obviously but I do believe you should still try. This economy this world everyone is against you, everyone will try to take advantage of you and everyone will try to step on your head. Building your own business is a way to have more control over your life than to have that solely in the control of your employer. I know I am creating a software based business due to my educational background but I don’t have a solid idea of what I think is needed in society right now.  In 2024 I want to make some progress any progress towards the goal of building my own business. 

## Let go of school and the past.

Alright I think this is the most heavy thing I want to accomplish this year. I want to let go of the past. I was very mistreated by my college, i was put in incredibly bad situations by them and they actively tried to screw me over and make me do bad. They also never gave me that mentorship i was looking for and they did everything they could to get in the way of me learning the things I wanted to learn while in school. I do hate academia and I would not even be mad if that whole system is financially ruined. I know for a lot of people school is a gateway to uplifting their lives and they get truly fulfilling experiences with school. I can’t say I feel the same, school has brought me mostly misery and burn out. 

In 2024 I want to forget, not necessarily forgive. But I do want to move past those experiences I had at that institution and get on with my life. I want to look forward to my future and I want to not feel so drained anymore. It has been a year since I last attended any classes and I am only beginning to feel any motivation to do anything. It goes in and out but I do think I am starting to feel how I used to feel prior to going to school. I am feeling like I am intelligent, I am capable, I am a resourceful person. In my head I know all those things are true, from my accomplishments in life. I think this will come with time, I don’t know how to really get that drained feeling out of my body but if I can I will work towards it and if I can’t actively work towards it then I look forward to the next version of me who fully forgets the atrocities of that place. I am glad that I don’t have to attend that place anymore and I am relieved that i no longer have to see professors faces anymore, that was especially upsetting to me. I think the first thing i can do is to appreciate that it is over. I am healing.



Those are my 5 goals for 2024, I hope that me talking about them can help someone else who felt like me in 2023 move on and do better this year.