Peerstiquette: Good Manners for Remote Collaboration
Tags: programming, productivity, career
Published: 2024-06-12 09:44:48

#<h1> Hola Mundo! </h1>
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You might not know this, but before becoming an iOS Developer, I worked and taught Communication and Marketing for about 12 years📆​!

And why is this important, you may ask yourself. Well, in my course I loved to talk about Netiquette because well, being behind a screen, people sometimes forget their manners. 

Then, last year, when preparing my talk for Software Crafters Barcelona, I decided to twist the concept and adapt it for communication between peers. This is extendable to any communication between mentors and mentees and, well...basically everyone.
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### What is Netiquette

Before diving into Peerstiquette, I want to talk about Netiquette because this has significantly changed how we communicate online.

In 1994, Virginia Shea wrote [Netiquette](http://www.albion.com/netiquette/book/0963702513p3.html), a whole book with rules to communicate better in the emerging online world💾​.

Virginia's rules may sound like common sense. However, a quick look at any social media platform reveals that a lot of people just skipping them all!😈​ These rules are also quite general and apply to all forms of online communication.

But then in 1995, Sally Hambridge, who at that moment worked at Intel wrote the [Request For Comments: 1855](https://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc1855.txt). As Intel began using emails for daily communication💻​, the goal was to provide guidelines for effective communication in a corporate environment.

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### What is Peerstiquette

When I learned about Netiquette, I became obsessed🫶​. I think it's an amazing concept that, sadly, most people forget.  And then when I started in tech I noticed how much Netiquette helped me in my relationships with mentors.

Time passed by and I adapted Virginia's and Sally's to my day-to-day communications and then thought, maybe I could create my own Peerstiquette. So, ✨​here we are✨​

Peerstiquette is a decalogue of what I believe are 🎯​ten essential rules for communicating with peers, mentors, and mentees in online environments🎯​, especially when working fully remotely.

Each "rule" is quite self-explanatory but I'll add some context for clarity if you want to check it out!
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Please notice that I have done this design and you can download it or use it if you want it. But please🙏​, I really ask for respect so if you use it don't delete my name from it and if you create your own version I would love to have some credit

![Peerstiquette decalogue image: 1. Respect the other person's time 2. Do not call without notice or demand immediate response 3. Communicate clearly, preferably in a single message 4. Do not ask questions you haven't attempted to solve 5. Do not judge 6. Use appropriate, respectful language 7. Accept constructive feedback and a no as an answer 8. Share your progress and setbacks 9. Respect the privacy of image and information when applicable 10. Do not expect others to solve your problems](https://dev-to-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/articles/dmdea5f26opdi62qf4mp.png)
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####1. **Respect the other person's time**
Be mindful of your colleagues' schedules and time zones. Avoid contacting them outside of their working hours and be considerate of their time when scheduling meetings or expecting responses. 

If you set a time to chat or call someone be punctual, be there. Try to not surpass the time set for the call, if you need to extend it, ask if is ok or schedule a new slot.
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####**2. Do not call without notice or demand immediate response**
Respect your peers' focus and workflow by avoiding unscheduled calls. Instead, send a message first to arrange a suitable time for a call. If possible let the person know with anticipation what the call is for, and give them context so they can go prepared if necessary.

Be patient and do not expect immediate responses to your messages or emails. Understand that if the person is busy, maybe they will see the message in a while.

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####**3. Communicate clearly, preferably in a single message**

We have all seen a chat like this...and is not nice. We don't want to hear 100 times the message sound of slack
![Chat image with lots of different messages of not many lines](https://dev-to-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/articles/685ujl30wd0dtc04u1ek.png)

Ensure your communication is clear and concise. Try to include all relevant information in a single message to avoid back-and-forth exchanges and to also avoid the other person receiving lots of notifications that may be interrupting. 
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####**4. Do not ask questions you haven't attempted to solve**
Before asking for help, make sure you have tried to find a solution on your own. This shows initiative and respect for your colleagues' time. 

If you still need some help, you could explain what you have tried so far to provide context and then work together toward solving the issue. 

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####**5. Do Not Judge**
Maintain a non-judgmental attitude towards your colleagues. Everyone has different strengths, weaknesses, and ways of working. If they ask for your help, or they fail to help you with an issue try to keep a supportive and understanding environment.

This is extendable to personal decisions, never by no reason, judge anyone for their looks, religious beliefs, background, ethnicity, origin, sexuality, etc 

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####**6. Use appropriate, respectful language**
Always use respectful and professional language in your communications. Avoid slang, jargon, or any language that could be misunderstood or deemed inappropriate. 

Remember to use the person preferable pronouns, do not use nicknames unless are widely accepted by the other person and of course, leave out any sexist, racial, or diminishing comment. 

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####**7. Accept constructive feedback and a no as an answer**

Be open to receiving constructive feedback and use it as an opportunity for growth.

Similarly, respect your colleagues' boundaries and understand that they may sometimes need to say no to a call, meeting, or request. 

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####**8. Share Your Progress and Setbacks**

We love to ask for help but sometimes after we receive that help we never go back to the person to say thank you or to let the other know how was everything solved in the end.

When needed keep others informed about your progress and any setbacks you encounter. 

Transparency helps in building trust and allows the team to support each other effectively. Regular updates can also prevent miscommunication and misalignment.

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####**9. Respect the privacy of image and information when applicable**
Be mindful of privacy concerns. Do not share images or sensitive information without permission. 

If you take a screenshot where the other person's face is shown, or want to record a session, ask for permission. Also if you later want to publicly share that image let the other implicated know that so they can decide if they set their cams on or off.

When working with corporate information ensure that any shared data complies with privacy regulations and the company's policies.

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####**10. Do not expect others to solve your problems**
Take responsibility for your tasks and challenges. While seeking help is fine, do not rely on others to solve your problems entirely. Show initiative in addressing issues and finding solutions.

When asking for help, if the other person does not have the knowledge or tools to help you, be thankful and seek solutions in other ways.

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I hope you find this decalogue interesting and that it might be helpful. Would you add another rule to it? Let me know!

And if you liked my post, please feel free to give me credit, like it or share it 🫶