Personal View: The value of agony aunts
Authors: Petra M Boynton
Journal: BMJ (2003)

When is sex advice not sex advice? When it's sex positive information given by an agony aunt to a teenager. Then, according to the Home Office, it becomes child abuse. Well, that's how it seemed until just last week. Teenage magazines were facing possible prosecution under the Sexual Offences Bill if they discussed anything other than pregnancy or the prevention of sexually transmitted infections. Clause 15 of the bill is designed to prevent “arranging or facilitating the commission of a child sex offence,” which is suitably vague so as to leave those who offer advice on emotional aspects of sex being open to prosecution.

Fortunately, the Periodical Publishers Association (PPA) fought to get the bill amended in the House of Lords to offer exemption to those who legitimately offer advice to young people about sex. Agony aunts were granted their reprieve last week (www.ppa.co.uk/news/news.asp?news_id=602). But this was not before certain sectors of the media launched a campaign against them, and certainly not before those who offer advice were left completely confused as to what they could and could not discuss.


Abstinence only programmes do not work. They make young people more afraid


Teenagers are more likely to use the media than other sources of information for advice on personal sex questions—particularly concerning issues that they feel they cannot ask teachers, parents, or healthcare staff about. This could be for questions about such things as masturbation, sexual pleasure, petting, and partner choice.

A recent poll of readers of the teenage magazine CosmoGIRL! suggested that if they had a sex related question 79% would first consult a magazine agony column. Only 3% would speak to a doctor or a Brook adviser, and only slightly more (18%) would ask their parents. As an agony aunt at a teenage website, I already had an inkling of this, but I still found it deeply offensive that those who work to empower young people were being reinterpreted as abusers rather than advisers.

While the CosmoGIRL! survey may have generated predictable results, there is good evidence that advice on sex does not lead to increased underage activity—contrary to the arguments that have been put forward in the press. And if teenagers do not learn that sex is about pleasure as well as disease prevention, communication as well as contraception awareness, it could lead to more adults having sexual problems, as no one will have taught them their right to sexual self respect.

Let's take a look in my weekly postbag. Perhaps Adam writes to me. He and his boyfriend are both 15 and have been together for a while, have bought condoms, and feel ready for a sexual relationship—they want me to give them some information to ensure that it is pleasurable. Or say I get an email from Justine. She is 14 and has decided to wait until she is married before she has penetrative sex, but right now she is enjoying oral sex with her boyfriend—can I give her some ideas about how she can tell him to improve his technique? And what about Carly? She might ask about sex generally. She is 12 and has no intention of having sex yet, but would still like to know what it might feel like and what she can expect. Had the bill not been amended, I would have had to have given a standard reply indicating that the law says that these correspondents are under age and have to wait until they are 16. Fortunately, now I can also help Adam ensure that his first sexual experience is a pleasurable one, I can give Justine some positive communication tips, and I do not have to let Carly wait in ignorance.

This is why I was in favour of the bill being amended to allow healthcare workers and advisory staff some clarity over what exactly we can discuss, and the opportunity to promote “sex positive” education. At a time when we are still working to reduce our teenage pregnancy rates and are fighting against the rise in sexually transmitted infections in young people, and when sex education is not as comprehensive as it might be, the problem page has an informative and reassuring role. Abstinence only programmes do not work. They make young people more afraid and ignorant. And if we discuss sex only in terms of disease and danger, how can we possibly expect teenagers to enjoy sex when they are legally able to do so?

Currently teen magazines act as a valuable referral service for teenagers to health services, and I hope that, with the amendment to the bill, this can continue. But we must all work to ensure that those giving sex advice—from practice nurses to children's charities—are able to do so in a sex positive way.