Product: The Whitechapel Whelk: An Anthology of Satire that Cuts Like a Knife Then Hides the Band-Aids
This book contains a confusing cornucopia of colourful Cockney characters and alarming alliteration. 
 
Within its pages, you will encounter such diverse individuals as; Menopausal Meg, the hormonal agony aunt; Danny Sparko, the consumer's heavyweight champion; Ted Stupor, London's favourite alcoholic police officer; Charlotte Brontosaurus, the sweary, 19th-century agony aunt; and my own personal favourite; Ted Threesome: Sexually Insane Gardening Consultant. 
 
You will also come across a number of outlandish, fake news items from in and around the East London district of Whitechapel, where I currently live in a fair amount of squalor and disarray with my Huguenot gipsy wife and eleven kids. 
 
I hope you will find something within these pages to lighten your mood in these troubled times, although I wouldn't bet my wife's caravan on it. 
 
All proceeds from the sales of this book will go towards saving fluffy, 3-week-old kittens from being crammed into a giant mincing machine in Shoreditch. So dig deep, my friends. 
 
Be excellent to each other, and, above all, be lucky! 
 
Danny x

Search query: funny bandaids
Relevance: Irrelevant