Os ponteiros
Autor: M. Caldas | Publicado: 2014-12-23T20:33:00-03:00

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Olhar
o calendário e constatar que mais um ano se passou o fez chorar outra vez. Não
que as marcas da idade o incomodassem ou que o simples mudar de número
representasse algo. Não. O que doía era reafirmar a ausência, a lembrança de
que tudo permanecia igual – esse eterno retornar a uma felicidade que não se
desenha mais como possível. E aí então ela vinha. Com forma, som, cheiro. Com
saudade. Mas não era real, como nada do que vivera nos 730 dias que se seguiram
desde então. Aos poucos, perdia as forças para sua busca por um recomeço
improvável ou por um superar pleno, mantendo-se ciente de que o lugar do vazio
era um só. Sem ela, os domingos ficaram cinza. Sem ela, o acordar ficou amargo.
Sem ela, as horas ficaram pesadas. Estar ali, ao final de outro ano, com as
memórias que insistiam em tomar o real, era afirmar que seu mundo parou desde
então. Ruim, claro, mas ele não conseguia evitar. Virara refém de sua própria
história, vítima de sua própria inabilidade para amar. Desejou ser homem de
lata, sem coração que batesse no peito. Só que era tarde demais. O calendário
não dizia apenas que mais um ano se passou. O calendário clamava por um mudar
de páginas que significasse que era tempo de voltar a sentir. Ele ouviu a
campainha tocar. Escreveu o nome dela no papel mais uma vez. Quis voar, leve
como quando ela ainda estava, só que suas asas ficaram quebradas. Era pássaro
triste, incapaz de cantar. Engoliu a data e pediu ao céu que a chuva voltasse a
cair. Só assim, sem o sol de um novo dia, não se lembraria do sorriso que ela
levou dali.