Capitalismo Selvagem
Autor: Natan | Publicado: 2011-11-12T04:28:00-08:00

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Capitalismo Normal 

Você tem duas vacas.
Vende uma e compra um touro.
Eles se multiplicam, e a economia cresce.
Você vende todo o seu gado e aposenta-se, rico!

CAPITALISMO AMERICANO

Você tem duas vacas.
Vende uma e força a outra a produzir o leite de quatro vacas.
Fica surpreso quando ela morre.

CAPITALISMO JAPONÊS

Você tem duas vacas.
Redesenha-as para que tenham um décimo do tamanho de uma vaca normal e produzam 20 vezes mais leite.
Depois cria desenhinhos de vacas chamados Vaquimon e os vende para o mundo inteiro.

CAPITALISMO BRITÂNICO

Você tem duas vacas.
As duas são loucas.

CAPITALISMO HOLANDÊS

Você tem duas vacas.
Elas vivem juntas, não gostam de touros e tudo bem.

CAPITALISMO ALEMÃO

Você tem duas vacas.
Elas produzem leite regularmente, segundo padrões de quantidade e horário previamente estabelecido, de forma precisa e lucrativa.
Mas o que você queria mesmo era criar porcos.

CAPITALISMO RUSSO

Você tem duas vacas.
Conta-as e vê que tem cinco.
Conta de novo e vê que tem 42.
Conta de novo e vê que tem 12 vacas.
Você pára de contar e abre outra garrafa de vodca.
  CAPITALISMO SUÍÇO

Você tem 500 vacas, mas nenhuma é sua.
Você cobra para guardar a vaca dos outros.

CAPITALISMO ESPANHOL

Você tem muito orgulho de ter duas vacas.

CAPITALISMO PORTUGUÊS

Você tem duas vacas.
E reclama porque seu rebanho não cresce...

CAPITALISMO HINDU

Você tem duas vacas.
E ai de quem tocar nelas.

CAPITALISMO ARGENTINO

Você tem duas vacas.
Você se esforça para ensinar as vacas mugirem em inglês...
As vacas morrem.
Você entrega a carne delas para o churrasco de fim de ano ao FMI.

CAPITALISMO BRASILEIRO

Você tem duas vacas.
Uma delas é roubada.
O governo cria a CCPV- Contribuição Compulsória pela Posse da Vaca.
Um fiscal vem e lhe autua, porque embora você tenha recolhido corretamente a CCPV, o valor era pelo número de vacas presumidas e não pelo de vacas reais. A Receita Federal, por meio de dados também presumidos do seu consumo de leite, queijo, sapatos de couro, botões, presume que você tenha 200 vacas e para se livrar da encrenca, você dá a vaca restante para o fiscal deixar por isso mesmo...