Gérberas mortas
Autor: Luciane Slomka | Publicado: 2013-10-27T05:35:00-07:00







Chego em casa e vejo tuas gérberas
começando a morrer. Elas tem a cabeça baixa, derrotadas da mesma maneira que eu
me senti segundos atrás quando fechei a porta para o mundo lá fora.&nbsp;Caminho em direção ao quarto te vejo ali deitado, inerte. Cansado de nossas batalhas verbais, talvez exausto de tua
própria vida, de tuas próprias brigas. Sei que sofres tanto quanto eu, que usas
tua capacidade de fuga tanto quanto eu. Ofereço o melhor sorriso possível, quem
sabe um copo de coragem, mas nem recusas, não respondes, apenas me sorri de
volta. Mas quando enruga os teus olhos percebo, devido ao erguer dos músculos faciais, que eles se encolhem e testemunho ali um milagre nunca visto naquele rosto. Um
milagre pelo qual eu sempre pedi, sempre desejei que estivesse ali, mas nunca verbalmente
requisitei, pois há coisas que não são passíveis de pedido, simplesmente
precisam acontecer por conta própria: Eu vi lágrimas em teus olhos. Sabia o que
aquilo significava, sabia que aquele autorizar de lágrimas não era para mim,
era para ti mesmo. Alforria para tua solidão.





Te amei instantaneamente naquele segundo,
amei aquelas lágrimas acumuladas em tuas pálpebras cansadas. Elas nem
precisaram cair. Era só uma alegria por saber que existiam e estavam ali. Sorri mais
uma vez, mas desta vez um sorriso honesto, também um fenômeno do qual eu não me
recordava de reproduzir. Atiro um beijo com minha mão direita, suada por andar sempre
tão fechada, tão apertada. Não sei o que tu compreendeu desse beijo.



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Deixo a
porta do quarto em lágrimas, estas sim sempre estiveram comigo, não sei se
sabias. Entendi a resposta para a minha chegada, entendi a resposta para as tuas
gérberas: lágrimas. Simplesmente lágrimas. Derramei então a mais pura água sobre
nosso vaso esquecido, adorno protocolar.&nbsp;


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Deitei-me no sofá, exausta, longe de ti e
ao mesmo tempo mais próxima do que posso me recordar, e vou adormecendo, observando
atentamente aquelas gérberas murchas, torcendo para que elas&nbsp;me despertem amanhã.