Ser mãe não se acostuma
Autor: Ana Paula Savoia | Publicado: 2014-01-10T21:38:00-08:00


Quando estava grávida ouvi diversas vezes a seguinte frase:
&nbsp;¨O início é muito difícil, mas depois você acostuma¨. E assim que a
Manuela nasceu concordei, como era difícil! A dor da cesárea, a falta de
experiência para amamentar e trocar fralda, o medo dela ser muito delicada,
pequenina, o cansaço constante, as mudanças hormonais, nossa! E eu pensava,
quando vou me acostumar?



Com o passar dos dias eu realmente me
acostumei. Acostumei com o sono, com as noites picadas, com a troca das fraldas
e com a fralda vazada. Acostumei a não conseguir mais tomar um banho demorado
com direito a um creme para os olhos, outro para o rosto e outro para o corpo.
Acostumei a comer sempre rápido e com comida fria e bebida morna. Acostumei a
passar um dia inteirinho esperando o melhor momento para cortar as suas unhas e
limpar as suas orelhas. Também acostumei com o pouco tempo disponível para o marido
e a não saber mais o que é sair para um chopinho com as amigas..., &nbsp;e
acostumei até com a falta que elas me fazem. &nbsp;Acostumei a ter uma força
sobrenatural para um pulinho rápido à academia, sempre entre as mamadas e por
no máximo 40 minutos. Na verdade, acostumei a fazer tudo correndo, parece que
estou participando de alguma prova sempre que ouso tirar os pés de casa sem a
pequena..., e acostumei a dormir sempre que aparece uma brecha, mas também
acostumei com as olheiras permanentes. Acostumei a dormir com um olho aberto e
outro fechado, atenta a qualquer barulho. Também me acostumei com as madrugadas
silenciosas, eu e a Manuela e, às vezes, barulhentas. Acostumei com o fato de
que, por um tempo, &nbsp;não terei &nbsp;outro assunto que não seja a minha
princesa.


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Por outro lado, ainda não me acostumei com
o cheirinho delicioso da minha filhota e com as suas risadas que acabam com
qualquer sono, ou com sensação que tenho todas as vezes
que ela aperta meu dedo enquanto mama.., e isso é todo dia, várias vezes por
dia.., e meu coração insiste em não se acostumar..., não me acostumo com o seu
jeitinho de se espreguiçar toda vez que acorda, com a sua respiração no meu
peito e seus braços ao redor do meu pescoço. &nbsp;Não me acostumo a velar pelo
seu sono e a olhar todas as carinhas que você faz enquanto sonha.., e o mais
importante, ainda não consegui me acostumar a amar tanto alguém que acabou de
chegar e que não imagino mais a minha vida sem. É.., acho que vai ser difícil
me acostumar a ser mãe.