O Protagonista
Autor: Rafael Escobar, | Publicado: 2011-02-11T20:17:00-08:00

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 <![endif]-->  Era sem dúvida um momento muito triste. Era aquele ambiente não-escuro, não-claro, talvez uma penumbra, como chamam. Era uma angústia, um sofrimento. Era eu ali. Meus olhos não tinham a capacidade de distinguir quase nada, a sensação era a mesma de quando as pálpebras não são fortes o suficiente para esconder os olhos e o sono da claridade ao redor. Eu podia perceber algumas formas, lâmpadas, lanternas, holofotes, letreiros de neon, velas, candelabros enormes, todos em minha volta, todos apagados. Eu não me movia, não ousava abrir a boca, apenas observava o pouco que me era oferecido. Eu suava, mas não estava quente, deveria ser alguma espécie de nervosismo. Fiquei assim por horas, não pensava em quase nada, continuava mirando as diversas possibilidades de iluminação, calculando o potencial daqueles inibidores do escuro. Não sei de onde vinha a fraca luz que me permitia contemplar o que de fato poderia iluminar e perceber o quão frustrante é estar no escuro desta maneira. Estava assustado, mas não rezei, talvez porque nunca tenha feito isso antes. Não tenho a quem rezar, mal acredito em mim mesmo, dificilmente teria alguma fé em outra coisa. Tentei me acalmar e fechei os olhos, respirei fundo, passei as mãos pelo cabelo, pelo meu rosto, estendi os braços ao longo do corpo e abri os olhos novamente. Tudo igual. Decidi caminhar, mas tive medo, não sabia o que poderia haver entre todas aquelas formas, não sabia nem se havia espaço para sair dali. Quando todas as luzes surgiram, eu fiquei cego. Os holofotes, as lâmpadas, os letreiros, as velas, todos fizeram a ausência de cor que me cercava desaparecer e deram lugar à claridade que me cegou. Tapei os olhos com as mãos e esperei até que a dor passasse. Fui aos poucos descendo as mãos e abrindo os olhos, já não estava mais cego. Eu podia enxergar perfeitamente todos aqueles objetos, via perfeitamente seus formatos, suas cores, todas elas; &nbsp;via a chama das velas tremendo e as lâmpadas esquentando. Olhei além de tudo isso e, depois de mim, depois das luzes, logo adiante, ainda era tudo escuro. E eu estava só.