18. Quando a realidade cai sobre você.  (Mell)
Autor: Li Mendi | Publicado: 2012-06-15T11:57:00-03:00

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&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rabisquei
seu nome na folha de fichário. Eu deveria estar desenhando ali as artérias de
um coração. Mas, talvez meu cérebro associasse seu nome a coração. Começava com
um T, dois traços quase em forma de cruz. Depois, rabisquei a letra "e" um "o" redondinho, que me
fazia circular o lápis numa circunferência infinita. Suspirei. Estava sonolenta,
não dormira bem estudando para a prova do primeiro tempo. 

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Sai
da sala abraçada ao fichário, sentindo um leve frio de inverno. Nos fones,
tocava “Halo” da Beyoncé. Eu precisava muito atualizar as músicas desse ipod.
Queria colocar meu coração também no iTunes e sincronizá-lo com outro cara. Por
que aquele? Senti um frio na barriga que me dava medo.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Hei!
Estou falando com você!_ senti uma mão segurando meu braço. Virei o rosto e me
deparei com Téo, como se ele estivesse escutado o feitiço do meu lápis tantas vezes desenhar
seu nome na folha de papel.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Olhei
para os lados pra ver se alguém nos via. Retirei os fones.

_Preciso te contar
uma coisa, Mell. _ sorriu, mas eu, não.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Desculpe,
eu não tenho tempo, preciso ir...

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Não
acredito que não vai querer saber! _Exclamou nas minhas costas. Parei de andar
e fechei os olhos. Sim, é lógico que eu queria ouvi-lo.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Fala.
_virei-me e pus a mão no bolso do jaleco.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Aqui
não. Vem comigo...

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Não
é bom ir com você! Por favor, não entende que só dificulta tudo?

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Não
vai demorar nada. Mas, muda tudo.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Como
assim muda tudo? Senti um aperto no peito. Não era o que eu estava pensando. Téo
não faria isso.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Vem...
_caminhou até uma sala vazia. Olhei para ele quando passei pela porta, depois
me virei de frente com o coração tamborilando.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Pronto...
estou aqui. _abri os braços, ainda segurando o fichário em uma das mãos.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Eu
terminei com a minha namorada.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; O
fichário caiu no chão. O ferro do grampo se abriu e as folhas espalharam-se por
toda parte. Meu coração devia ter rolado para de baixo de alguma mesa, pois eu
estava lívida, sem sangue no rosto.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Abaixei
de cócoras, toquei algumas folhas com a boca seca, mas não sabia o que fazer. Eu
devo ter escutado errado.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Mell...
_abaixou-se e afastou meu cabelo sem jeito. _Não era isso que te
incomodava?_seus grandes olhos azuis estavam tão brilhantes.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Não,
Téo. O que me incomoda é eu não ser quem pensa que sou.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Não
pode nem ao menos sorrir? _cobrou-me.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Eu
não queria ter destruído seu namoro. _quando pronunciei, não acreditei na
baboseira que havia dito.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Você
não destruiu nada. O que fez foi construir uma coisa nova dentro de mim.
_sorriu e acariciou meu lábio, querendo o mesmo efeito.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _..._olhei
para baixo, triste. Agora, Isa era livre pra ficar com ele. Mas, como namoraria
Téo sem lhe dizer a verdade? Se abrisse nossa farsa para os irmãos, terminaríamos
as duas sozinhas.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Fechei
o fichário abruptamente. Caminhei para o canto da sala, pus o cabelo para trás
das orelhas, umedeci os lábios. A cabeça girando a mil.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Confesso
que não era assim que esperava que encarasse a notícia._ofendeu-se.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Como
pode terminar um namoro de tanto tempo?_tentei ser muito racional, mesmo que
doesse. _Ela deve estar arrasada! Você foi impulsivo. Tomou essa atitude sem
nem ao menos me consultar?

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Téo
caminhou até a mim e me puxou pela cintura.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Eu
não preciso te consultar, a vida é minha e você é minha. _beijou-me com vontade
tão apertado ao meu corpo, percorrendo meus lábios com muita fome, não
dividindo o ar, apressado, ansioso por ter tudo de mim.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Seria
nosso último beijo? Meus olhos se encheram de lágrimas. 

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Você
está chorando? _afastou-se, surpreso com a umidade entre nossas bochechas._Não
queria esse beijo? Não me quer? Eu não estou te entendendo! Você quer me enlouquecer!

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Eu
quero ir embora..._engoli o soluço e corri da sala.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; _Mell._ele
gritou, mas eu bati a porta.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Com
a mão trêmula, peguei o celular, procurei o número de Isa.