O LABIRINTO
Autor: Pedro Almeida | Publicado: 2012-10-18T02:23:00-01:00

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&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Parece
mentira, mas depois de tantos anos livre, me vejo novamente preso aqui, que por
tantos anos foi um refugio que em que eu só podia enxergar por trás dos muros. Foi aqui,
dentro desse buraco que observei por entre as brechas do muro tudo o que acontecia
lá fora.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Aqui de dentro observava a vida e
quando não fazia isso, brincava pelos corredores de pedra cobertos pelo limo
cheio de plantas rasteiras que cresciam ao longo da muralha de pedra. Ainda
havia maravilhas quando vivia aqui. Hoje não restou nenhuma maravilha, na
verdade, isso aqui está um verdadeiro caos. 

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Nostalgias, até sinto, mas reconheço
que depois que descobri o mundo lá fora não pretendia voltar pra cá. Me sinto
um pouco frustrado em voltar e perceber que pra sair tenho que percorrer de
novo um longo caminho. O mesmo que já percorri. O problema e que esse tal
caminho muda a cada segundo. E confesso que havia me esquecido de quão rápidas
as paredes se movimentam. Do nada crescem ramos espinhosos do chão tapando
passagens. De relance vejo a saída que acaba sendo obstruída por uma parede que
surge da terra e minha jornada rumo à saída se perpetua.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Hoje tenho a vantagem da maturidade,
acredito que é justamente ela que me tirou a maravilha do olhar pelos caminhos
que percorri. Acredito também que os devaneios e as ilusões do mundo lá fora
possam ter contribuído para que hoje eu tenha a cegueira da fantasia.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; É triste ver como a frieza tomou
conta de partes de mim, bem como coisas que não pertenciam a mim se agregaram.
Provei no mundo lá fora os piores cálices de coisas que nem sei do que foram
feitas. Passei a ser uma pessoa comum, perdi o encanto que me destacava. Talvez
voltar pra cá não tenha sido de todo ruim, mas confesso que esse lugar me causa
arrepios, mas não como os arrepios de antes, me causam arrepios de medo. Esse
lugar está infestado de coisas que me amedrontam, de coisas que me fazem sentir
dor. Será que eu preciso de mais coragem? Por isso voltei pra cá? Será que
preciso buscar algo perdido aqui? Não sei se sou capaz de resistir aqui de
novo. Tenho medo que a abstinência dos vícios do mundo lá fora me deixe louco
aqui dentro e toda essa jornada do autoconhecimento se finde em um insucesso.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Desistir nunca foi uma prática minha
só tenho medo de não resistir a tantos desafios. Sei que virão das piores
formas possíveis. Acho que voltei pra cá pra voltar a ser mais sincero comigo
mesmo. A única coisa que quero muito encontrar de volta é o meu próprio eu.
Sabendo disso, sabendo o que busco, tudo vai ficar mais fácil. Esse buraco essa prisão está dentro de
mim, logo a chave pra que eu saia daqui algum dia, sou eu mesmo.