Autor: Ana F. | Publicado: 2014-08-25T06:23:00-07:00


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&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Explodi em milhões de pedaços ao descobrir o câncer. Aos
poucos esses pedaços que voaram pelos ares foram se reacomodando em mim
novamente. Não na mesma ordem; não nos mesmos lugares e nem mesmo eles tinham
mais a forma.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; A
fôrma, que era eu, havia sido deformada, retorcida e rasgada. Não havia mais
nada de igual ou diferente do que antes.&nbsp;
Era tudo caquinhos de alguma coisa; coisa que já não era a mesma e só
sabia ou podia esperar para ver o que haveria de ser quando a chuva de pedaços
caísse toda; se assentasse, se acomodasse, se rearrumasse em outra fôrma.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Veio o
medo, veio o pavor, a consciência – que dizemos que temos – que a vida é
efêmera&nbsp; e nós mais ainda. Veio o medo de
partir, de deixar, de não dar tempo, de não ser mais. 

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; O
cabelo se foi, as seções também. Nasceram esperanças; morreram também. Notícias
boas, notícias ruins. Os dias seguiram-se, impiedosos e belos por serem o que
são. Os pedaços, os caquinhos vão caindo mais devagar, se reacomodando aos
poucos e de repente formam um sorriso, uma lágrima, um choro de tanto rir.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Descobri
que a vida segue inclemente. E que bom que segue e que bom que não há clemência
nela; ela me trata como a todos os outros. Democraticamente o sol volta a
brilhar dia após dia e continuará a brilhar mesmo depois que eu me for.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; A vida
segue e me convida a seguir com ela até o ponto em que me está determinado,
Pode ser na próxima curva ou no próximo passo. Pouco importa. Também&nbsp; descobri , e até já soubesse, que,
independente do câncer, também não sei quando terei que me despedir igual a
todos. 

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Há
ainda pedaços faltando, ainda pairando e ainda esperando voltar. Talvez eu já
não os encontre mais ou talvez não caibam mais em mim depois disso. Ficarei
mais leve assim.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Muitas
coisas acontecem em questão de poucos meses: mudamos, se quisermos, aprendemos,
se quisermos, ficamos mais leves quando implodimos. Implodi. Implodo todos os
dias e me obrigo a dar a mão à vida inclemente e bela.