"Pensamentos vão com o vento. Pra se livrar,não lembrar de maus momentos"
Autor: Marcos Jr | Publicado: 2010-03-31T10:31:00-07:00

Depois de muito tempo sem postar,resolvi dividir alguns textos que fazem parte da minha trajetória pela Suazilândia.Esse texto tem muitas histórias e experiências. “At the present you need to live the question” -Rainer Maria Rilke. What does this mean to you?To live the question is a way of thinking and an approach to the world. When I mean world I mean everything related to you, everything that is around you that is affected and shaped by different questions. I understand that to live the question is to embrace and to make a great effort to question your life. To be able to live the question the people should be willing to challenge themselves in different ways, where shocks of distinct worlds could happen, breaking of stereotypes may be necessary and contesting our own culture and background as well. “At the present” is attatched to living the question because the fight to make changes in the world is done in the present for a better future.Living the question is not easy in the sense that we should not swallow any truth without knowing what it is made of. It's necessary to take a deep look at both sides (lucky we would be if it was always two sides but throughout life we learn that it is much more than white and black). I won't affirm that there is an absolute truth but I believe there is relative truth that is a more correct accurate undestanding of the question in that time and circumstance, but this is not a closed idea considering that it is subject to errors. Hence I do support that in order to live the question at the present we can not watch life as a spectator, instead we should be an agent of transformation. But not an imposer of concepts and ideas, rather a person that is able to challenge the questions of life with different approaches and a willingness to expose different perspectives of the situation. I remember when I was small I used to think that you have to first build your life and only afterwards would you be able to change the world. But throughout my personal experience in community service and political activism I realized that we can make a difference now at the present with simple acts. We definitely need people of magnitude like Nelson Mandela, Rosa Parks and now probably Barack Obama, people who dedicated and sacrificed their lives in different ways for a greater cause. However,  almost more important were the students that had just graduated from different universities in São Paulo, especially students of Univeristy of São Paulo, who decided to go live in “favelas”(shanty towns) in São Paulo in the 70's and 80's to bring conscious and political formation to the impoverished people to fight against the evil and opressive military dictatorship installed in Brazil in 1964. These people were unknown, they were never in the newspapers. They dedicated themselves to a cause, they gave up their personal life for the good of a majority and in1985 the system fell apart. Thanks to people like the current president of Brazil, Luiz Inácio Lula Silva, and to the many unknown that fought (and many died) for a greater cause by living the question, they played a role of change in the whole of Brazil.My involvement with politics was caused by my family's influence in the first place; politics is a big thing at my house, and so I was introduced to this world since I was small. My interest in politics grew with me and that voice inside a teenager's chest, that feeling that it is necessary to change came out through politics. It was very important in my life especially in that teenager phase where the self affirmation as a human being in the world is very important. So the politics experience showed me why I do not want to watch my life as a passive person, I want to take action, I want to contribute to my society. Two things were remarkable in my decision to fight for a better world. One was when I visited the settlements of a rural social movement in São Paulo, the experience showed me the other side of the story that the big media does not take into consideration, the struggle for agrarian reform in Brazil. The second one was to visit a “vertical homeless occupation” in São Paulo center, where this group, Movement of People Without Roofs” were living in this abandoned flat. It's one knowledge to read in books of this tragic situation, but to see with your own eyes hundreds of families living in deplorable conditions, living with the fear of being evicted from their new “homes”and the threat of “shock troops” (SWAT teams) invading and displacing them. But they still prefer to live there, that place they call their home, even with all the bad conditions. For them the fears are much better than not having a shelter at all. My role compared to them was easy, I was just participating in lectures about the movement, putting pressure on the government to avoid a confrontation between the people and shock troops because they have an order of evacuation. I could leave any time, I have my home, they don't. A person told me once that when they are forced out they are back to zero. This is a moment that you remember why you fight for a more fair world, this is so touching that you feel that you have to stand up and do something about it.To live the question does not necessarily mean that you have to deal with “external” concerns but it can also be a very personal understanding that changes throughout time. I never truly liked religion. I often tried to skip the mass and usually I would fight with my mother because she would force me to attend the service. Before 15 years old I did not really have a reason for not going to the mass so I tried to change myself and be willing towards such things. After 15 years my involvement with politics and different ideas that I was exposed to made me look for an explanation to dislike the church. I just could not follow it anymore as my mind changed so the conflicts of ideas between church and personal formation grew. I see religion as an important thing for many people. I do respect that but my personal beliefs did not allow me to follow, especially the concepts about condom use, abortion and homosexuality. I could not diverge to a common point between the church and myself. As I see the church with a strong political power I had to leave because I could not agree to some terms. Another reason that drove me away is the  unwillingness of the church to deal with a new historical and social scenery, refusing to reform old concepts such as the issue of homosexuality. And finally I started wondering why my religion is better than any other religion. I could not find an answer, so it was hard to disappoint my mother but I just could not see why I should go to church, it was hard to turn my back to such an important thing as religion in Brazil but it would be harder to stay in some place where there is an imposition of the ideas rather than an actual discussion. To live the question is not just about leaving the church, or partcipating in social movements or getting involved with politics. In general living the question for me is to try to be conscious of my world and always not be willing to accept anything as “absolute” truth, I am always trying to challenge myself and everything around me. By doing that I am no longer a passive member of the society, I am trying to be that “ agent of transformation”.