Autor: Carlos Júnior / = / José | Publicado: 2011-03-18T01:12:00-03:00

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Sem lutar.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Cansado estou, fadigado, acomodado, e sem armas para enfrentar mais uma guerra, quero vencer, mas de tanto lutar por uma vitoria que nunca se mostra ao meu alcance, sinto-me acomodado em apenas andar nessa corrida, não avisto mais pódio algum, não mais sonho em estourar champanhes de alegria, estou aqui, não faço mais diferença, não sinto nada mudar, e assim a vida acostumou-se a ser, já venci varias batalhas contra o mundo, contra tudo e contra todos, sinto como se já tivesse vencido ate a mim mesmo, mas porque essa guerra nunca tem fim? Porque sempre tenho que enfrentar novos inimigos, sempre tenho que sentir as facas rasgando minha pele, para que eu possa me sentir melhor. Sempre precisei matar novos inimigos, enfrentar novas batalhas, para obter meus momentos de gloria, mas cansei dessas pequenas glorias, no dia seguinte sempre enfrento mais uma batalha, me sinto derrotado, preciso de ajuda, preciso de uma mão que me tire dessa inconstante e interminável batalha, preciso voltar pra casa, rever a minha vida, aproveitar o que tenho agora, sem buscar mais nada, sem procurar novas vitorias, quero usar os prêmios que já ganhei, não quero mais medalhas em minha parede, nem insígnias &nbsp;em meu paletó, quero me conformar com as que já tenho.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Sentando estou, em meu quarto, olho em volta, penso sobre minha vida, sobre tudo que já fiz, sobre quem já magoei, sobre quem me magoou, lagrimas escorem em meu rosto, e não sei o porque delas estarem aqui, vejo e revejo, todas as batalhas que enfrentei, que lutei com garra, que desejei vencer, lutas que enfrentei pelo simples prazer de lutar, penso nos aliados que me ajudaram a vencer muitas dessa batalhas, e vejo que não os ajudei em suas próprias batalhas, sempre o foco de minha vida esteve em mim mesmo, sempre buscando ser cada dia melhor, porque não tirar simplesmente o meu melhor de cada uma dessa lutas, e finalmente acabar com tudo de uma vez? Com um só golpe, um único tiro, certeiro e final, era assim que tudo deveria acabar, mas esse não será o fim dessa guerra, estou no meio do fogo cruzado, sem arma alguma, sem disposição parar correr, sem animo de fugir, desejando ser atingido por qualquer inimigo, desejando ser derrotado, não por querer acabar comigo mesmo, mas pra finalmente sair desse ringue de sentimentos, de momentos passageiros, que sempre me levam ao mesmo campo de batalha, permaneço aqui sentado, apenas observando o fim de tudo, o fim de mim, ou o fim dessa batalha insana e sem sentido, desejo agora que tudo se acabe, bem ou mal para mim, mas esta na hora dessa guerra ter um fim, chega de dor, chega de não haver misericórdia, chega de correr pro meio do fogo, chega de me confundir, chega de buscas, chega de buscar qualquer coisa, estarei aqui ao fim de tudo, apenas esperando a minha volta para casa.
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; “To voltando pro meu recanto, La é bem melhor, não, não sei quem vai estar me esperando, eu nunca vou estar só.” - To aprendendo a viver sem você – Tico Santa Cruz