Divagando sobre os quereres 
Autor: WC feminino | Publicado: 2012-11-07T16:26:00-08:00

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Eu queria mudar tudo, não apenas mudar.



Queria mudar de país ou apenas de lugar. Uma tribo na Indonésia, quem sabe.
&nbsp;Ir pra onde não entendessem a minha língua,
onde ninguém entendesse o que eu quisesse dizer, onde seria difícil me entender
até com sinais. Queria saber como é comunicar. Aprender a comunicar.
Entender a falta da comunicação.



Um lugar onde só tivesse pessoas diferentes de mim.



Queria ir pra um lugar onde eu esquecesse meus óculos e
depois fosse pra outro lugar e nunca mais voltar onde esqueci meus óculos.
Queria saber como é estar sem se comunicar e sem enxergar.&nbsp; Queria saber que a dor de cabeça por não
poder ver bem iria passar depois de um tempo, ou se eu ia acostumar com a dor.



Lá, nesse lugar, não teria como comprar comida. As pessoas
iriam plantar seus alimentos, matar seus alimentos. Um lugar onde não tivesse
chocolate, nem cerveja, nem os olhos julgadores das pessoas que reprimem.



Um lugar onde não tivesse banho quente, onde tivesse muito
frio, tivesse muito calor. Queria que não tivesse dinheiro, calçados, queria
que ninguém tivesse roupas além do necessário. Um lugar onde as pessoas iriam
se aquecer com o calor humano, onde teria muito abraço. Talvez eu possa ficar por aqui, talvez eu só precise de um
abraço.



Queria lidar com perdas, perdas básicas. Queria saber se
perdendo o básico, iria deixar de preocupar com o fútil, se iria entender o
fútil. Queria sentir como é dormir e não ter cama, dormir no chão.&nbsp;



Queria ir para um lugar onde pudesse olhar nos olhos das
pessoas e entender. Queria ser entendida num olhar.



Um lugar onde eu pudesse correr, correr e gritar, quem sabe
aprender a nadar. Quem sabe gritar embaixo d’água. Quem sabe olhar pro céu e
ver estrelas e as nuvens e a lua.&nbsp;



Queria saber como é perder tudo isso. Tudo que estou olhando
agora, tudo que estou pensando agora. Acordar sempre em lugares diferentes,
amar eternamente por um dia pessoas que nunca mais iria ver.



Um lugar onde tivesse uma montanha muito alta e poder subir
a montanha e passar os últimos dias na montanha. Congelar na montanha.



Quem sabe eu não queira nada disso. Quem sabe eu só queira
perder todas essas coisas pra esquecer as outras coisas que eu realmente queria ter
e não tenho e não posso ter. Quem sabe eu queira dormir. Quem sabe eu deva
dormir. Boa noite. Dormir eu posso ter, tudo.

♪ Não adianta&nbsp;