Fada nos trilhos
Autor: dB | Publicado: 2011-08-02T12:42:00-07:00

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Mais parecia uma fada, mesmo assim nem um pouco infantil, trajando um belo e curto vestido – que lembrava a pétalas sobrepostas de uma rosa branca. Andava sobre os trilhos do trem, com os braços fazendo movimentos esparsos e nervosos como uma borboleta. O Sol morrendo a sua frente, ou talvez estivesse nascendo, não fazia muita diferença. Esperava apenas que o trem não passasse por cima dela, dos seus sonhos, dos seus planos infantis como acreditar numa fada ou como desenhar borboletas com giz de cera. Mas sair dos trilhos, sair da linha era tão errado.  &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Sentia que seus sentimentos eram mais nobres e maiores que os dos demais, pensava que eram assim, mais dolorosos, mais fulgurantes, eram mais. Seus sonhos, seus planos, tudo o que arquitetava – ao contrário do que sentia – sentia pequeno, humilde, sem bagagem ou jeito de quem poderia fazer algo realmente grande. Por serem tão singelos, tão insonsos, não mereciam que um trem lhes esmagasse. Talvez fosse essa a verdade, mesmo sendo certo que os além das fronteiras de nosso corpo nos enxerguem melhor, poderia ser essa a verdade, porque sonhos de um personagem inventado não precisam ser grandes. São diminutos, do tamanho dos sonhos de alguém que só quer sobreviver. E muito pouco em matéria de sonho é necessário pra sobreviver, viver exige mais, mas sobreviver é só passar pela vida ou deixar que ela passe por você. E encarando dessa forma, talvez a verdade sobre a fada nos trilhos do trem não seja tão verdadeira. Quem se traja como fada, quem anda como borboleta, não tem sonhos tão curtos, não tem sonhos que caibam dentro de si, tem sonhos em que ela mesma caiba e sobre um tanto de espaço pra outro alguém.  &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Quase escorregou dos trilhos, ou seja, escorregou e não caiu, massageou o calcanhar que não havia machucado. Perdeu o compasso. Pensou ter ouvido o trem, ou talvez não fosse ele. Sonhava coisas pequenas, fáceis, quem sabe por isso eram tão difíceis e inalcançáveis. Talvez ter alguém, um ser que fosse o masculino de fada ou o macho de borboleta. E como lhe parecia muito desesperado optou apenas por não se sentir carente, e percebendo que havia quitado a opção errada, escolheu novamente, agora, o desejo de não se sentir tão só. Depois pensou num outro sonho, um sorriso mais sincero, uma alegria mais plena, ou até mesmo ser feliz. Ser compreendida, se compreender, achar descanso, dormir bem ao menos uma vez, morrer em paz. Eram sonhos demais, dependiam de pessoas demais, coisas demais, e as garantias nem existiam. Reformulou, com os pés nos trilhos, desejou, sonhou com toda sua força que o trem apenas não passasse.