Autor: Carmen Fontes | Publicado: 2012-05-02T04:26:00-07:00




10 Biggest Mistakes Girls Make Before Getting
Married:




http://variasanas.blogspot.com.br/2011/07/40-motivos-para-casar-com-um-jornalista.html


10. Believing in ‘..and they lived happily ever
after”.&nbsp;Women are fed romantic ideals from the day they are born. Books and
movies aimed at girls invariably promote the big wedding to the perfect man as
the ideal ending, from Snow White to Hilary Duff, from fairy tales to Mills and
Boon. Is it any wonder women don’t tend to look past the romance of the wedding
to the 50 or so years of marriage that follows! The truth is, marriage is hard
work! A more realistic perspective would be that marriage is about 20%
happiness, 30% contentment and 50% plain hard work! Going into marriage with a
realistic attitude will prevent a lot of disappointment.

9. Believing that they can change him.&nbsp;Women have a
tendency to gloss over qualities they don’t like in a man, telling themselves
‘oh, he’ll change’ or ‘I’ll work on that’. It doesn’t work, because you can’t
force a person to change. If you do manage to bully him into changing, your
relationship will suffer. Either accept and enjoy the differences between you
or create an environment that encourages him to want to change for you.

8. Believing that he will always be romantic.&nbsp;Often women
have very unrealistic expectations based on the way their partner behaved
during the courtship phase. Unfortunately, most men heave a big sigh of relief
once they have won you because they think ‘hey, I can relax now and stop doing
all that girly stuff’! That doesn’t mean you have to give up on romance, just
don’t expect a ‘grand gesture’ every day.

7. Losing self.&nbsp;Getting into an intense
relationship before they’ve developed a clear sense of their own identity is
another common mistake young women make. Without a clear sense of self, women
identify overly with their partner and find it difficult to stand up for
themselves and their own needs. A woman with a strong sense of identity,
however, is a more interesting and equal partner.

6. Giving up friends and interests.&nbsp;With the thrill
of being in love, it is too easy for women to put friends and family, hobbies
and sports on the backburner. This is a fundamental mistake to make because a)
women depend on support networks throughout their lives and b) men just can’t
be everything to a woman. It is asking too much of them. It is important to
maintain a happy balance in your life.

5. Rushing into marriage.&nbsp;It almost seems
to be a race across the wedding finishing line for many young women. Marriage
can last an eternity, but your single 20s only lasts a decade at the most!
Don’t rush into it. Just because you found the man you want to spend the rest
of your life with, doesn’t mean you have to marry him straight away. Enjoy your
youth so that you will not have any regrets later.&nbsp;

4. Not having conversations about serious
issues.&nbsp;Talk to your partner about where you both stand on issues that can make
or break a marriage. Talk about the number of children you both want, are you
intending to stay home to raise them, where your priorities lie, spending
styles, dreams and goals, where you see yourself 20 years from now, parenting
styles, sharing of responsibilities, etc. You need to know beforehand if his
beliefs are incompatible with yours. This alone can determine how happy or
conflicted your marriage is.

Also, have discussions about ground rules. Negotiations should be conducted
before you sign on the dotted line. Too many of us rush into marriage and then
spend the first decade negotiating the details! Sit down and nut out the
details before you get married. Work out the basic rules that you both need to
follow in order to have a happy marriage. It is important to be realistic,
though, and to not agree to any rules that you know are unreasonable. Sex every
day may work for him but it probably won’t for you! Also, realize that these
rules may need to be renegotiated now and then, such as when you have children.

3. Having sex before sussing out the guy.&nbsp;Research shows
that women are genetically programmed to fall in love with someone they have
regular sex with. Make sure that he is someone you have the potential to be
happy with, before you jump into bed with him!&nbsp; Afterwards, your hormones
are likely to override your commonsense. This is how the Bree Van Der Camps of
the world find themselves married to the Tommy Lee Jones of the world! Sometimes
this works because your fundamental beliefs are the same but don’t let your
hormones make that decision for you.

2. Settling.&nbsp;A lot of women start to
panic if they aren’t married by their mid-20s, and God forbid they reach 30
without being married! That ol’ biological clock starts ticking loudly. The
result is that they make excuses and rationalizations to themselves about a
relationship that is already dull and past its use-by date, or which they know
has serious issues. Marrying someone because you are afraid to be alone is
unfair to yourself and your partner. Someone once said ‘I don’t want to spend a
lifetime turning a bad relationship into an average one; I want to start with a
good relationship and make it a great one’. Hear, hear.

And the&nbsp;No. 1 mistake&nbsp;women make is

1. Getting married because they are ‘in love’.&nbsp;Being in love
is not a good enough reason to marry. We can fall in love for many reasons – it
doesn’t mean the man you have fallen in love with will be a good partner.
Choosing a good partner makes all the difference between having a harmonious
marriage and a difficult marriage. You need to seriously question how well you
two can work together for a lifetime. Do you complement each other? Does he
make you feel like a better person or a lesser one?&nbsp;

I fell in love with 3 completely different men before I finally married. If I
had married the first man I fell in love with, I would have ended up with an
adrenaline junkie which would have stressful for a couch-and-book lover like
me; if I had married the second man I fell in love with, I would have ended up
with a compulsive cheater; and if I had married the third man I fell in love
with, I would have ended up with an emotionally stunted husband. Each taught me
a valuable lesson about what I wanted in a husband. The result is that I
married a good man who still spoils me 20 years later.

Marriage can be a wonderful experience. It can be painful, frustrating,
hilarious, comforting, annoying and tender. How much it leans to either end of
the happiness spectrum depends on you making a good choice of partner at the
beginning.

read more on:

http://potential2success.com/mistakes-women-make-before-getting-married.html