Pirilimpim Chapter Zero
Autor: Rennan Oliveira | Publicado: 2009-04-14T08:27:00-07:00

Haha. The long awaited Pirilimpim novel is finally here. I will probably only post up to chapter three here, one chapter a week, month, year or lifetime. Want to read more? Buy the book if it's ever published. Or force me to show it to you, I bruise like a peach.Oh yeah, I'd also like to comment that my blog has finally had it's 100th view. I'd also like to state that about 60 of those were me. Or more. Since I changed comps, I forgot to set the counter to ignore my new comp. Or maybe I didn't forget and just wanted to get more views on my blog. I can even admit this freely, considering nobody visits the blog, nobody will never know. Did I make you feel sorry for me? Mission accomplished. Now favorite my blog and check it daily!***Chapter 0Agatha Sharp.“This is Agatha Sharp, live from Houndsville, where…” I began, patting down my hair to make it look great. Not that any of that showed on camera:“AAAARRGGHHHH!!!” That was the camera-man running away.I wouldn’t blame him: seeing a creature the size of a three-story house gobbling down a full pet-shop is something quite… unique. Still, very unprofessional if you ask me. I’ll try asking my father for a camera-man with a bit more guts the next time.Ok, you’re probably wondering what I’m talking about. Well we, the Ponga-pongas, were being constantly attacked by an evil creature, which we called Evil Creature. Catchy name, huh? I chipped in that idea myself, knew it’d be an instant success. And so it was! Although honestly, whatever name we called it, this monster would be a huge success.The Evil Creature gobbled up a few cages full of doggies, boo-hoo, then turned in my direction. I was on the other side of the street, watching it all. Our eyes locked. Me, looking at the creature that would make me win the Pulitzer. It, well, looking at its dessert. I loosened my arms, ready for the assault. A sudden blur of movement: It came running towards me. Well, the appropriate term would be slithering towards me, as it had no feet. In fact, the Evil Creature resembled a mix between a huge snake and a gigantic human. When it was halfway across the street, I pulled out my secret weapon from my pocket: My mini camera. I took a shot right when it opened its huge mouth, towering over me, hiding the sun. But my camera had the flash function! Down it came, and FLASH, I took an awesome picture! Then… darkness surrounded me.***IntroductionYou’re probably feeling very confused right now, and wondering what the hell Ponga-pongas are, I know I would be. I’ll bring you up to par with the situation.On a far, far away place… to be exact, on an alternate reality altogether, there was a teeny, tiny little planet called Earthy. Earthy was such a small planet, that even Pluto – May its planetary status rest in peace – would call it a dwarf-planet.Now, this minuscule planet was inhabited by creatures who called themselves Ponga-pongans. Now, Ponga-pongas are creatures very much like us, humans – assuming that you, reader, ARE a human too – they have two arms, two legs, two eyes, they eat the same way, their digestive process works very much like our own. They are different in some ways though. Ponga-pongas, for example, have only four fingers on each hand, four little toes on each foot, and therefore use the hexadecimal system – eight fingers, eight toes, its very common to see a Ponga-pongan sitting down to count comfortably.It was not only the planet itself that was small. Ponga-pongas were very small creatures, some being as short as a foot tall, but usually not surpassing five inches. Another small feature related to them is their sense of morality. As you might have noticed, Agatha Sharp was not a soul worth saving. Selling, maybe. They also had another big problem, their mouths. If one would ask their neighbor for a pitch of sugar, the other would generously give it, then turn around and tell the whole street that one is in financial trouble. You’re probably thinking “Why, I know a handful of people exactly like that!” Well yes, I’m sorry to say, some humans are like that, but try imagining a whole small planet filled with that sort of people. You see, one of the Earthy’s rulers’ main problems was themselves. Another big problem on that small planet was the Evil Creature. The evil creature, named Evil Creature, as all devilish creatures do, eats people for a living, because they’re evil creatures. This terrible fiend was gigantic for Ponga-pongas: it was five foot tall, and its favorite snack, as one might have guessed by now was, naturally, the poor tiny creatures.You’re probably wondering why that would be such a bad thing, but as you will soon learn, there are a few Ponga-pongans worth saving. Meet Pirilimpim.(If you are desperately awaiting part one, please come back tomorrow! It won't be here, but then you'll just have to come here again the next day! And the next!I really shouldn't have placed that darned counter at the bottom of the page...)