sobre o mal costume das fases boas;
Autor: Carolina da Silva | Publicado: 2016-08-08T10:31:00-03:00


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Quanto tempo, não é mesmo? Acho que posso justificar – não que
eu precise – esse tempo como uma fase boa. Não tenho necessidade de vir até
aqui quando me encontro em fases boas, você sabe. Não sei quando foi a última
vez, nem mesmo se foi em dois mil e dezesseis, mas as aulas começaram de novo,
o TCC está aí, briguei com a chefa, Fabíola está desempregada, Eleonora está
muito bem, obrigada.











Aliás, foi ela que me fez vir até aqui. Quase chorei agorinha
a pouco, ao receber uma foto da minha pequena totalmente preguiçosa, usando meu
pijama como travesseiro, enquanto dorme na minha cama. Eu a amo, Hans. E esse sentimento
quase me fez chorar, não é idiota? Claro que há todo um contexto... Shyrra
morreu. E, em partes, sinto como se pudesse ter sido comigo e tenho amassado –
e amado – Eleonora mais que o normal. É um daqueles momentos em que você se
lembra que ainda há de passar por tantos sofrimentos – como a perda da sua gata
gorda, sua eterna pequena ou ainda perda de alguém da família. Perda de seres
importantes.











Ainda hei de passar por isso, já que ao que tudo indica – as estatísticas
estão a meu favor – a ideia é de que os mais velhos morram antes – apesar de
ninguém ter certeza de nada nessa vida. Não quero passar por nada disso. Quero
que o aperto no peito – que aqui se encontra – vá embora, e que eu possa voltar
a respirar fundo – aliviada – novamente. Tenho sido mal acostumada com longos
tempos de fases boas. 











Talvez seja o inverno. Você sabe como eu odeio o inverno, os
dias cinzas, chuvosos e frios. Quero viver um eterno Verão. 









“...Mas é claro que o
Sol vai voltar amanhã.”





Tomara, Renato. Tomara.
C.G.