Eu aprendi acreditar no amor novamente
Autor: Jaqueline Oliveira | Publicado: 2012-08-24T21:28:00-04:00


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CAPITULO 14&nbsp;



&nbsp;

( Meu Mundo Se Foi)





Havia se passado meses, e Neto só piorava.
Havia ido ao médico algumas vezes, e ficado internado alguns dias, e depois
voltava para casa. Era cansativo para nos dois, mas ele sempre estava feliz, eu
não entendia o porquê, mas gostava daquilo. Ele havia me dado um cachorrinho –
um labrador – pena por que eu não tinha muito tempo para
cuidar do pequenino – estava ocupada demais tentando salvar o amor da minha
vida.

A cada dia eu me apaixonava mais ainda por
Neto, tentava não pensar que iria perdê-lo – como ele
mesmo havia me pedido. Fazíamos programas, saímos para jantar, íamos para a
orla, voltamos a Neblin, mas naquele dia estávamos próximo o lago de sua casa.

- o que mais não sei sobre você? – estávamos
em um balanço de uma árvore olhando o mar.

- meus pais são donos do cinema de Neblin.

- então você conhece a cidade e me enganou? –
ele riu, continuei seria.

- não amor, eu não conheço a cidade, eu juro
– ele nem precisava jurar, eu acreditava nele só pelo seu olhar.

- o que mais?

- acho que só – rimos. – posso te pedir uma
coisa? – confirmei com a cabeça. Ficamos em silêncio por alguns longos
segundos.

- quando eu for embora – ele falou com uma
voz tremula olhando fixamente para o lago – quero que você continue sua vida, e
finja que isso foi só uma fase, sabe? Eu quero que se apaixone por outra
pessoa, se case, construa uma vida – eu examinei seu rosto, esperando que fosse
uma brincadeira aquilo.

- não, nunca! – dei de ombros.

- eu quero.

- não me peça isso. Por favor!

- você consegue.

- nem por um milhão de anos.

- eu quero também que quando eu for embora –
ele não pronunciava a palavra “morrer” ou “falecer”, pois sabia o quanto era
difícil para ambos – não tentem me reanimar.

- isso é um absurdo Renato – fiz uma pausa –
não posso te perder.

- amo você! – ele colocou sua mão gelada em
meu rosto e eu beijei sua palma.

- eu também te amo.

&nbsp;- eu
trouxe o violão, vamos tocar a nossa música para a tristeza ir embora– era a
música mais “Para lamas do Sucesso / aonde quer que eu vá”

Algumas semanas depois Neto foi internado e
eu passei – praticamente – morar no hospital. Ele por sua vez, perdeu um quarto
de seu peso, estava cada vez mais pálido e agora apenas dormia, cada vez
aumentava a sua hora de sono, ele começou dormindo 3 horas, e hoje dorme metade
do dia se deixar, ele quase não come, vive tossindo e fala pouco, e quando
fala, fala com dificuldade.

- não queria que você me visse assim – tossia
a cada 3 palavras.

- na saúde e na doença, lembra?

- lembro – ele riu, vi suas covinhas e tive a
sensação de que seria a ultima vez.

- amo você, e pra sempre vou amar – beijei-o
e abracei.
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- eu também te amo, e vai ser pra sempre, até
o fim, enquanto minha alma viver, aqui ou onde eu estiver o nosso amor vai ser
algo belo e infinito. Você foi à pessoa que marcou na minha vida, que me
ensinou a amar, que completa o meu sorriso. Você é linda Maria Gabriella, você
é perfeita na medida certa para mim, preciso de você, Deus foi bondoso, casa
comigo? Eu vou te amar de longe, aonde quer que eu vá, levo você no olhar, sua voz é a melhor melodia que já ouvi, foi bom enquanto durou, durou pouco,
mas foi perfeito, obrigada, minha Mabi, obrigada minha mulher, vida. Você é uma
princesa, uma rainha, se cuida, eu amo você e pra sempre vou te amar, por toda
minha vida. – ele terminou com um beijo, esse foi longo, como de cinemas, logo
depois ele me abraçou e senti uma lágrima, eu não podia apertá-lo, então fiz o
máximo possível. Depois de alguns minutos não senti a mesma força, o ajeitei na
cama, e beijei-o. Renato faleceu ali mesmo, em meus braços.

-

&nbsp;O
funeral aconteceu um tempo depois, resolvi ficar de longe, não tive coragem de
me aproximar.

Eu não chorei, por nenhum dia, na verdade nos
primeiros meses entrei em uma básica depressão.

Semanas, meses, anos passaram-se depois do
funeral.