SAUDADES DE MIM
Autor: Carlos Bezerra | Publicado: 2012-03-23T08:41:00-03:00

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Estou com saudades de mim. Não sei o
que sou e nem onde estou. Terei me perdido em alguma dobra do tempo? Afinal de
contas, também é para isso que existem universos paralelos. Sou um fantasma,
uma lembrança de mim. A lembrança é agradável. O presente, não. 

Que coisa é essa que sou? Mas não
era. Na verdade, era bem diferente. Diferente pra melhor, creio. Hoje não sou
mais dono de nada. Sequer das minhas lembranças. 

Onde está o rapaz audaz, o
conquistador do mundo, o guerreiro viril? Foi-se. Perdeu-se nas Brumas de
Avalon, suponho. Que sei eu das lendas do rei Arthur?

O tempo, esse implacável destruidor
de tudo, esse ácido corrosivo do tempo e da vida, esse amigo fiel da morte
cruel, ladrão da vida e de tudo o que há, aos poucos está levando para não sei
onde o que sobrou de mim. 

Na manhã da minha vida, subi a
montanha e contemplei, poderoso, o mundo à minha volta. Hoje, quando a noite
chega, estou no mais profundo de um vale não conhecido, e pouco vejo do tudo que
existe, inclusive do que sobrou de mim.

Tenho saudades de mim. Mas sei que o
que foi, nunca mais será. A tragédia é essa. Ao contrário do que acreditamos,
nada é nosso, nada nos pertence. Tudo é apenas um empréstimo que nos foi
concedido pelo tempo, esse velho usurário que cobra com juros extorsivos a
juventude perdida.&nbsp; O preço é alto. É o
cansaço, a pele enrugada, músculos flácidos e uma enorme vontade de partir para
a terra do nada. Lá, inconsciente do existir, não pensarei, não sentirei, nada
serei. Talvez quem sabe, se tiver sorte, quando eu for apenas pó, uma um
vendaval pode soprar o que restou de mim para as estrelas. Lá, bilhões de anos
depois, poderei ser parte da luz que não faz sombras. Quem sabe nesse dia,
poderei conhecer esse tesouro que muitos buscam e poucos encontram: a
felicidade de apenas existir sem sentir essa dor maldita que há tanto tempo faz
parte de mim.