PHILOS (amizade)
Autor: Carlos Eduardo | Publicado: 2017-01-12T21:10:00-02:00




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<![endif]-->Grandes
amigos são embriagados do amor do tipo philos

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Chamaremos
esse tipo de amor de “amor time de boliche”. Ele usa essa designação porque há
uma troca mútua, um compartilhar. Em geral, baseia-se numa apreciação recíproca
que pode ser destruída se um ou outro não for recíproco. Por exemplo: digamos
que você é um bom jogador de boliche, eu sou um bom jogador de boliche e nós
dois somos ótimos jogadores. Gostamos de estar no mesmo time de
boliche.&nbsp;Mas você começa a beber demais e só lança bolas na canaleta.
Resultado: você é tirado do time de boliche. Por mais caloroso que seja o amor philos,
ele tem suas deficiências.

Relaciona-se
com a alma, mais do que com o corpo. Lida com a personalidade humana – o
intelecto, as emoções e a vontade. Envolve compartilhamento mútuo. Em
português, a palavra mais próxima é amizade. A forma nominal é usada apenas uma
vez no Novo Testamento (Tg 4.4), mas o verbo “amar”, no sentido de “gostar”, e
o adjetivo “amável” são usados muitas vezes. Este é o grau de afeição que Pedro
disse ter por Jesus quando este lhe perguntou, “Simão, filho de João, tu me
amas?”. O pescador respondeu: “Sim, Senhor, tu sabes que te amo”. No original
grego, o sentido é: “Sim, Senhor, tu sabes que gosto de ti, que sou teu amigo”
(Jo 21. 15,16). 

É
a parte do amor mais sublime, é o amor que vem com o tempo de namoro, aquela
fase onde parecemos ser mais irmãos de nosso par do que propriamente namorados.
É nessa fase que os casais com muito tempo de casamento estacionam, quando
começam a falar um com o outro sem precisar usar das palavras, só com um trocar
de olhares, com expressões do rosto, com gestos ou simplesmente com o
pensamento. Philos torna Eros mais manso, menos intenso, mas não é um sinal de
fraqueza do Amor, é só uma mudança desse sentimento. Nessa fase, por exemplo,
os longos períodos de silêncio não são mais constrangedores, são só
silenciosos.

Neste
nível, o amor é menos egoísta, mas ainda contempla o prazer, a realização e os
interesses pessoais. Não deveria, mas... normalmente, desenvolvemos amizades
com pessoas cujas características nos agradam, cujos interesses intelectuais e
gostos compartilhamos. Desejamos e esperamos que estes relacionamentos sejam
agradáveis e nos beneficiem de algum modo. Damos, sim, amizade, atenção e ajuda,
mas com alguma motivação egoísta. Mesmo assim, philos é um nível de amor
mais elevado do que eros. Nesse nível, “nossa” felicidade é mais
importante do que “minha” felicidade. 

Muitos
casamentos comparativamente felizes são construídos nesse nível. É muito bom
quando marido e mulher são amigos. Alguns maridos e esposas dizem que se amam,
mas, no dia a dia, nem amigos eles são. Prova disto é que não têm sequer prazer
e empolgação com a companhia, os interesses e assuntos um do outro. 

Um
casamento não pode sobreviver a menos que cresça pelo menos até ao nível do philos.
Se você é jovem e está pensando em se casar, você deve tomar tempo para
verificar se gosta realmente da pessoa com quem você pretende se unir para o
resto da vida. Seguramente, essa pessoa tem defeitos, características e hábitos
que poderão irritá-lo ou mesmo exaspera-lo no dia a dia da vida conjugal. Você
vê mais virtudes do que defeitos e gosta dessa pessoa o bastante para
perdoá-la, ajudá-la e fazê-la feliz? 

Provavelmente
você já ouviu esta frase romântica: “O amor é cego!” Cuidado! O único amor cego
é o eros. Esse tipo de amor realmente fecha os olhos para as faltas, ri
dos defeitos e racionaliza os problemas potenciais (a menos que a pessoa amada
não seja interessante em seu aspecto físico). Philos, por outro lado,
honestamente encara os defeitos e decide se eles podem ser superados pelas
virtudes. 

Philos é o meio
caminho do amor verdadeiro – dá um pouco para receber um pouco, numa proporção
de 50% a 50%. Um casal pode viver razoavelmente bem com esse tipo de amor,
enquanto cada um fizer a sua parte e as circunstâncias forem favoráveis. Porém,
se um deles deixa de fazer a sua parte, ou se ocorrem circunstâncias adversas
(crise financeira, enfermidade grave, tensões com parentes, problemas sexuais,
problemas com os filhos etc), a amizade sofre. Philos não agüenta muita
pressão. No fim, torna-se egoísta e exigente. Vêm os conflitos. A amizade vira
inimizade. A única esperança para um casamento estável, bem-sucedido e feliz é
o crescimento para o nível mais alto do amor.

Philos é um
amor que troca.

Entenda a
seguinte comparação:

Você tem
um amigo, aqui chamado Manoel. Você, Manoel e outros amigos em comum sempre
saem juntos. Vão a uma lanchonete, por exemplo. Vocês sempre dividem a conta. Mas
Manoel nunca participa desta divisão. Não “colabora” com nenhum real. Exemplo
do amor 50% dado – 50% recebido. Você divide a conta porque isto te beneficia
também. Porém, você se sente incomodado com o fato de Manoel nunca participar
da divisão. Você começa a não o convidar mais para sair. Afinal, ele não dá
retorno algum para ti. Resumindo... um “amor” um tanto quanto egoísta. O amor
do tipo Philos não é um amor que doa; sempre espera algo em troca.

Expressões
que caracterizam o amor philos:

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  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
   Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
  
  
  
  
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
   Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
   Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
   Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
  
  
  
  
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
   Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
   Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
   Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
  
  
  
  
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
   Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
   Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
   Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
  
  
  
  
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
   Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
   Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
   Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
  
  
  
  
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
   Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
   Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
   Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
  
  
  
  
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
   Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
   Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
   Name="Mention"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
   Name="Smart Hyperlink"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
   Name="Hashtag"/>
 
<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>

 /* Style Definitions */
 table.MsoNormalTable
 {mso-style-name:"Tabela normal";
 mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
 mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
 mso-style-noshow:yes;
 mso-style-priority:99;
 mso-style-parent:"";
 mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
 mso-para-margin-top:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-right:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt;
 mso-para-margin-left:0cm;
 line-height:107%;
 mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
 font-size:11.0pt;
 font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
 mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
 mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;
 mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

<![endif]-->




&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; • metade da laranja;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; • ele/ela me completa;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; • ele/ela pensa como eu;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; • ele/ela me ajuda em casa;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
• ele/ela me dá presentes;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
• Gostamos das mesmas coisas;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; • Fazemos muitas coisas juntos;

&nbsp;Veja também:&nbsp;

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; ÁGAPE (amor incondicional)

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; EROS(físico, sexual)