TVP ou Sonho?
Autor: Synara Cristina Cetrángolo | Publicado: 2017-01-29T17:14:00-02:00



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Quem define na terra o inicio, o meio e o fim de algo?

Não me conformo com certas coisas, mas quem sou eu também
para impor minhas opiniões como certas ou erradas?

Quando me calo e ouço o silencio do meu pensar, sinto um
êxtase que não sei explicar. Uma paz que não posso descrever, porém senti-la já
basta. Já é o suficiente para me reequilibrar física e mentalmente.

De fato, a música acalma as feras. Ao menos, acalma a
fera que habita em mim, ela dorme profundamente quando ouve o som de um Cello,
bem afinado e manuseado. Me torna alguém que seque sabia ou imaginava que
existiria em mim.

Consigo imaginar as paredes de uma antiga mansão. Me
imagino subindo suas escadas rangendo e pousar minha mão esquerda sobre o corre
mão, ainda observando o lustre em cobre e cristal. Como um sonho, se não fosse
a brisa que entra pelas janelas valsando com as cortinas. Já não sei se é real
ou um devaneio.

Alcanço um corredor, repleto de belas artes, em quadros,
estátuas e objetos sustentados por móveis maciços. Um longo tapete me
recepciona, me guiando a cada porta à esquerda, ainda observando pelas janelas
o verde vivo do jardim. E na suave caminhada, uma porta entre aberta a minha
frente me convida a entrar.

Conhecia aqueles aposentos, me pertenceram um dia,
talvez. A familiaridade me dizia.

Ao abrir a porta, vi uma cama bem arrumada, coberta por
um véu de seda, como um mosquiteiro, acompanhada de seus criados mudos. Havia
uma poltrona, um roupeiro enorme, uma penteadeira e a lareira, esta sim me
trouxe imagens vívidas e claras como rio. Caminhei até as janelas e abri cada
cortina e o sol invadiu o quarto, mostrando-me como ele era claro.

Com a claridade, pude ver mais um corredor, ainda lá
dentro. Uma sala com um sofá luxuoso, tapete, mesa com um vaso que deveria ter
flores, com taças e garrafas. Uma outra porta me levou a um banheiro com
espelhos, balcões de mármore e uma banheira que me trouxeram mais lembranças. 

Deslize a esponja sobre suas costas sorrindo, o manequim
vestia sua reluzente armadura, mas havia um pouco de sangue na água. Leves
ferimentos de corte e arranhões estavam sobre sua pele mas... Quem é você?

Seu toque repousou sobre mim, me afastando da dúvida e o
calor de sua mão conforta a minha. Assim que torce seu dorço para encontrar
meus olhos, vejo seu sorriso revestido por uma barba bem feita, mas não vejo
seu rosto.

Vagarosamente, vou recebendo fragmentos de detalhes seus
como seus olhos brilhantes como estrelas, acesos como o calor do fogo. Seus
lábios finos, porém carnudos e sua voz, firme e forte como um trovão, mas
sempre a ouvi serena e suave, quando se dirigia a mim. Lembrei-me que sentia
meu ego inflar e minhas maças corarem quando dizia “Minha Senhora”. Sempre tão
doce e protetor quando se tratava de mim.

Apreciava contornar suas cicatrizes com meus dedos da
mesma maneira que apreciava cada tom que meu piano exalava pelo ar quando eu
começava a tocar.

Todos os dias pela manhã, o via colher uma flor diferente
para mim do nosso jardim e a trazia, em sua posse junto ao meu café da manhã.
Quando estava ausente, as minhas manhãs eram fúnebres e quase eternas, mas a
minha roseira estava lá. Lembro bem quando a dedicou a mim e jurou que aquelas,
nunca seriam colhidas, para que me lembrasse que voltaria para me presentear
com outras. Aquelas eram dele, como eu era e viveriam com o cuidado e o amor
que ele fazia comigo.

Até que um dia sua volta tardou e um temporal arrancou
parte delas... Alí soube que ele não voltaria.

Com o tempo, as pragas a foram tomando, assim como a
tristeza e a dor tomavam meu peito. Morremos juntas, com a consciência que você
não voltaria para cuidar de nós, mas a esperança acesa...

Assim tudo se acabou e foi assim que acordei, com um
vazio inexplicável no peito, uma sensação de dor, solidão e medo. 

Olhei para a janela de meu apartamento e pude ver, em um
copo de requeijão com água, uma rosa vermelha, viva como sangue que escorria de
sua pele, repousada sobre a janela.