Subentendido
Autor: Raul Avlis | Publicado: 2013-04-10T18:01:00-07:00

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Frases curtas previamente decoradas pronunciadas
e repetidas numa sequencia impecável. Amigos irreais que só servem para te
lembrar que você não está só. Nunca. Eles sempre estarão ali, te chateando, te
irritando, mostrando o quanto são repulsivos e desprezíveis. 

A música não te serve mais. Livros não te servem
mais. Você se tornou mais um filho do mundo, sem pai nem mãe, sem carinho ou
amor, sem saber se é amado. Transformou-se no ser que sempre temeu. 

Teus medos só servem para te distrair, te levar
para outro universo. Seus ataques de pânico são sempre escandalosos e chamam
atenção, fazem com que você se odeia, mas também trazem uma sensação que você
não pode negar que gosta: eles fazem você se sentir vivo.

Não como as drogas – elas só te anestesiam. Isto?
Isto é muito melhor! A adrenalina em suas veias acelera seu coração, faz sua
cabeça rodar, te faz tremer e suar. Instinto de perigo. Você sabe que precisa
fugir, mas do quê exatamente? 

Não dá para fugir da solidão. Nem da depressão. Você
sabe –&nbsp; e aceita – que estes são amigos
para vida toda. Companheiros inseparáveis. Não dá para fugir desta dor no
peito, deste sentimento de impotência e desta vontade de morrer. Mas você aceita.

Esse é seu erro: aceitar tudo. Acha que estas
palavras confusas derrubadas numa folha virtual vão fazer a dor diminuir, e
fazer a crise cessar. Você sabe que é mentira. Sente que vai explodir de tanta
dor a qualquer momento. Mas não liga. Mais cedo ou mais tarde, tudo vai passar.
E se não passar, você sempre terá seus grandes e eternos amigos. A solidão, a
depressão e a morte.

Enfim, só te resta esse desespero e essa
angústia. Seus vícios e distrações. Só te resta a você o que você tem de
melhor: você mesmo.






Por: Laila Silva