Apenas escute
Autor: nani bandeira | Publicado: 2011-07-04T17:28:00-07:00

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&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Quando o som sai dos meus lábios, na maioria das vezes é só isso, um som. Quando quero ser ouvida de verdade, silencio. É no silêncio que encontro eco para as palavras que arranham o ouvido. É no silencio que mais me torno ruidosa. O silêncio é apenas a ausência de sons audíveis.  Não economizo palavras no silêncio. Economizo silêncio quando falo. E não sou dada a economia, não sou nem um pouco parcimoniosa. Gosto de consumir. Consumo sentimentos, consumo emoções até não sobrar mais nada na prateleira. Consumidora compulsiva da vida. Tenho muita fome. Fome de tudo que mereço e eu mereço muito. Nasci para sorrir e não aceito ficar sem consumir um sorriso&nbsp; pelo menos uma vez ao dia. Não economizo energia por medo de blackout. Prefiro o erro do excesso que o da economia.  &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; A única coisa que&nbsp; consegui estocar até hoje são as lágrimas, mas não é por avareza, é por pura falta de competência: não aprendi a chorar. Talvez porque seja&nbsp; o único som que não me faz dançar. Não é falta de sentimento, é falta de sentimentalismo.&nbsp; Acredito que o uso demasiado de lágrimas leva a banalidade do lirismo. Não sou, nunca serei, me recuso terminantemente a ser uma pessoa banal.&nbsp; Não consigo viver uma banalidade, já tentei, fiz até curso on line e fui reprovadíssima. Nem as coisas mais triviais que me proponho a fazer chega ao fim na sua forma ordinária, no meio do processo passo a devorá-la como rara, única. Porque tenho a tendência de fazer sempre o melhor com tudo que &nbsp;cruza o meu caminho. Mania de perfeição. Quando assim não faço, é quando quero exercer meu direito de uma vez ou outra me sabotar. Até nisso capricho, dou o meu melhor. Sou o que me proponho a ser. Nem mais, nem menos. Quero consumir todo o meu silêncio.&nbsp; No silêncio é &nbsp;quando mais alto penso.