O Amor Nunca Morre de Morte Natural
Autor: Eu | Publicado: 2013-07-24T13:52:00-03:00


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Fabrício Carpinejar



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O amor nunca morre de morte natural. 

Morre porque o matamos ou o deixamos morrer. 

Morre envenenado pela angústia.&nbsp;

Morre enforcado pelo abraço.&nbsp;

Morre
esfaqueado pelas costas.&nbsp;

Morre eletrocutado pela sinceridade.&nbsp;

Morre atropelado
pela grosseria.&nbsp;

Morre sufocado pela desavença. 

Mortes patéticas, cruéis, sem obituário e missa de sétimo dia. 

Mortes sem sangramento. Lavadas. Com os ossos e as lembranças
deslocados. 

O amor não morre de velhice, em paz com a cama e com a fortuna dos
dedos. 

Morre com um beijo dado sem ênfase. Um dia morno. Uma indiferença. Uma
conversa surda.&nbsp;

Morre porque queremos que morra. Decidimos que ele está morto.
Facilitamos seu estremecimento. 

O amor não poderia morrer, ele não tem fim. Nós que criamos a despedida
por não suportar sua longevidade. Por invejar que ele seja maior do que a nossa
vida. 

O fim do amor não será suicídio. O amor é sempre homicídio. A boca
estará estranhamente carregada. 

Repassei os olhos pelos meus namoros e casamentos. Permiti que o amor
morresse. Eu o vi indo para o mar de noite e não socorri. Eu vi que ele poderia
escorregar dos andares da memória e não apressei o corrimão. Não avisei o amor
no primeiro sinal de fraqueza. No primeiro acidente. Aceitei que desmoronasse,
não levantei as ruínas sobre o passado. Fui orgulhoso e não me arrependi. Meu
orgulho não salvou ninguém. O orgulho não salva, o orgulho coleciona mortos. 

No mínimo, merecia ser incriminado por omissão. 

Mas talvez eu tenha matado meus amores. Seja um serial killer. Perigoso,
silencioso, como todos os amantes, com aparência inofensiva de balconista. Fiz
da dor uma alegria quando não restava alegria. 

Mato; não confesso e repito os rituais. Escondo o corpo dela em meu
próprio corpo. Durmo suando frio e disfarço que foi um pesadelo. Desfaço as
pistas e suspeitas assim que termino o relacionamento. Queimo o que fui. E
recomeço, com a certeza de que não houve testemunhas. 

Mato porque não tolero o contraponto. A divergência. Mato porque ela
conheceu meu lado escuro e estou envergonhado. Mato e mudo de personalidade, ao
invés de conviver com minhas personalidades inacabadas e falhas. 

Mato porque aguardava o elogio e recebia de volta a verdade. 

O amor é perigoso para quem não resolveu seus problemas. O amor delata,
o amor incomoda, o amor ofende, fala as coisas mais extraordinárias sem recuar.
O amor é a boca suja. O amor repetirá na cozinha o que foi contado em segredo
no quarto. O amor vai abrir o assoalho, o porão proibido, fazer faxina em sua
casa. Colocar fora o que precisava, reintegrar ao armário o que temia rever. 

O amor é sempre assassinado. Para confiarmos a nossa vida para outra
pessoa, devemos saber o que fizemos antes com ela.