Sobre uma ideia (outubro 2014)
Autor: Lu de Farias | Publicado: 2014-10-27T22:55:00-02:00

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Quanta expressão distraidamente desperdiçada! – pensou e
aquietou as ideias. Não merece mais do que isso, levemente arrependida de toda
aquela expressão. Ou seria da distração?

&nbsp;




Era bem mais que uma ideia, pousando devagar e todos os dias
sob os lábios cor de carmim. E era perigoso alimentar bem mais que uma ideia.
Mais uma vez, mentiu. Ignorou. Não por muito.

&nbsp;




Idiota! – não sabia a quem dirigira a palavra. Os olhos
fixos no espelho, ignorando. Doendo. Remoendo. Não era lá muito complicado,
aliás, era bem mais simples do que muita coisa dantes vivida. De tão simples,
tornou-se impossível!

&nbsp;




Lá pelas tantas nem sabia mais qual era o motivo de tanta
repressão. Aquietar as ideias sempre, antes que elas saiam do inconsciente, se
tornem palavras e sigam livres para todo tipo de interpretação, exigindo dela,
dos outros, explicações vagas a respeito de nada.

&nbsp;




Ainda que fosse bem mais que uma ideia, era somente uma
ideia. Só dela. Era concreta na memória e abstrata na vida. Não ocupava espaço.
Não gerava problemas. Apenas aquela puta dor de estômago controlável. Remoendo
o erro que jamais poderia se tornar acerto, por mais que ela, com aquela mania incansável
de acreditar nas pessoas, considerasse possível.

&nbsp;




Veja bem – um discurso inflamado pareceu-lhe viável para o
momento. Desistiu. Afinal, desistiram antes dela. – Não vale mais que isso,
lembrou. Pensando bem, vale sim. Era uma expressão distraída. Era dela. Não convinha
a mais ninguém. Ignorou. Desistiu. Não por ela, mas por toda a dor de estômago
possivelmente causada.