1202
Autor: Adonay Esteves | Publicado: 2013-07-18T23:58:00-07:00


Eu não estou
falando de amor, porque neste momento amor é a última coisa que me importa.
Também não estou falando da guria que estava lá porque a guria, quem ela era, o
que representava e quais características físicas tinha, são completamente irrelevantes
nesse contexto.

Esta história
poderia ser contada de uma dezena de formas, sob uma série de ângulos e com uma
infinidade de aspectos emocionais e circunstanciais. Agora, só me interessa
abordar um desses aspectos. Esta história é sobre uma foda.



Eu tinha reservado
a suíte presidencial de um hotel antigo, clássico e absolutamente kitsch do
centro da cidade. Era véspera de réveillon, tínhamos tido um ano intenso de
todas as formas possíveis e queríamos um fim de ano que coroasse aquilo tudo. 

Ela comprou uma garrafa
de Jack Daniels e eu gastei uma pequena fortuna em 30 gramas da melhor cocaína
que se pudesse conseguir naquela época.



Isso não é um
conto de ninar, pelo contrário:



Foram dois dias
sem dormir porque naquele momento não estávamos interessados em bem-estar. Foram
dois dias sem comer porque nosso foco era sublimar. Foram dois dias sem colocar
roupas, usufruindo do corpo um do outro, esquecendo do mundo, desconsiderando o
ano porvir e todas as responsabilidades, todos os problemas, todas as
consequências e toda a chatice da vida habitual. 

O mundo resumia-se
àquele quarto de hotel, àquele papel de parede démodé e ao nosso ímpeto de nos
consumirmos mutuamente. De esquecer a passagem do tempo e de nos preenchermos
um do outro. De mergulhar no corpo com a boca, os dedos, a mão e o braço, de
sangrar, de chegar ao limite físico e parar, beber mais um pouco, cheirar mais
um teco, discutir assuntos sem qualquer relevância prática e voltar ao corpo, à
boca, aos dedos etc.

O mundo resumia-se
à ânsia de comprimirem-se as peles, de queimar-se a carne (figurativamente), de
gastar todas as possibilidades e chegar quase (quase) a um nirvana qualquer, a
uma catarse qualquer que resumisse tudo à simplicidade dos membros, dos lábios,
dos peitos. De se reduzir à animalidade, ao primitivo, à irracionalidade, à
besta hedonista de cada um de nós, à uma inconsequência primordial e infantil,
ao tamanho bobo e ínfimo de quem se esquece de quem é. De quem abdica de si pra
ser no outro.


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Essa história é
sobre aquilo que nunca mais se repetiu. Porque seria impossível de se repetir. Porque
o que quer que tenhamos sido ao longo daqueles dois dias, consumiu-se e feneceu
na suíte 1202 daquele hotel.