Querida Anita.
Autor: Alberto Tibaji | Publicado: 2013-03-06T06:30:00-08:00

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A
quem mais eu poderia me dirigir? Tantas pessoas me apontam – e com razão –,
dizendo que sou um amigo nada constante. E você, Anita, sempre me acolhe. Ao
menos até agora. Hoje não tenho muitas reflexões. Quero escrever.



Estou
deitado de costas no cimentado dos fundos da minha casa. O chão ainda está
quente do sol que o aqueceu durante a tarde. Fecharei os olhos. O grito de um
gavião me traz de volta de um devaneio. Muito raramente ouço o latido de um
cão. Escurecerá. A lua estará redonda redonda. E eu, deitado na minha cama,
verei no céu a luz da lua. Fotografo a beleza do pertencimento dessa luz. Não
me pergunto o que é correto. Prossigo. Uma brisa me traz de volta para o
cimento. Sinto uma formiga – deve ser uma formiga – subindo pela minha coxa.
Esquerda. Poderia ter chutado a taça vazia de vinho que deixei perto da escada.
Prossigo. A cada dia limito-me a lamentar o sofrimento e a ignorância das
pessoas. O medo de estar diante da paisagem – sem ponto de fuga – de um rosto.
Sentei-me e olhei quase certeiramente para o rosto de Virgílio. Lembro. Retive
a respiração. Não por muito tempo. Levei minha mão ao seu rosto. Anita, um dia
as palavras que dirão o arrebatamento do gesto de tocar um rosto terão sido
grafadas por mim. Sabe que há muito tempo, ao me acariciar, meu pai tocou um rosto que
não era meu?



Deitado ao meu lado. Olhos mirando o tempo. Fui sorvido pela
voragem de seu rosto. Em breve a queda desaguará num lago plácido. Soube que
acredito nas palavras. Soube que acredito no sentido. Esvaiu-se, pelo corte
insuturável, a realidade. Sei que essa brincadeira entre eu e as palavras tem
fim. Dentro da casa, meu filho joga. E eu aqui. Do lado de fora. Insistindo.
Será que posso dizer que um dia minha vida terá se dispersado num amontoado de
papéis?

Muita
saudade,

caioMARques