♥ eliete por ela mesma... 10
Autor: Greiceinha | Publicado: 2013-02-02T12:48:00-08:00



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Hoje 30/04/87. Fui ao hospital C. Camargo nervosíssima, chorei a vontade,
meu coração dizia que ia acontecer nada de bom ali. Saí as 7:30 hs da manhã,
fechada em mim e em meu mundo triste e solitário observando São Paulo, uma
selva de pedra onde as pessoas não se olham, onde os carros se ironizam
apostando corrida, cidade cinzenta e cheia de mal, escura e nada hospitaleira,
edifícios e edifícios, droga uma droga de cidade, que diferença do lindo sol
que raia na minha cidade, no lindo mar, do São Francisco, da tranqüilidade e do
amor entre as pessoas. Me sinto uma pessoa infeliz, tão triste como um
passarinho preso na gaiola. Eu que amei e fui amada, e hoje só tenho e vejo a
esperança que morre a cada dia num hospital.



Será que serei feliz algum dia? Duvido muito. Não, não sou pessimista,
sou realista. Vou fazer todos os exames na segunda-feira dia 04/05/87 no C.
Camargo para dar início aos tratamentos, se por
acaso eu não sobreviver para contar a minha história, peço para que alguém leia
esse resumo para outros, pois o que desejo é contar isso para alguém chamado
Elimis, mas talvez isso não venha a acontecer, infelizmente. No meu mundo, embora tenham
dezenas de pessoas a me rodear, eu estou sozinha, tenho que lutar contra a
barreira da solidão e do desespero. Tenho medo de morrer dentro de mim, de
morrer pra mim mesma.



30/04/87. Depois de dormir a tarde toda descobri o seguinte: não tenho
forças para vencer, tento dar a volta por cima, porém cada dia a decepção me
derruba mais e mais. Levantar, sacudir a poeira e dar a volta por cima é muito
fácil pra quem fala, pois agira é a pior coisa que se há de fazer nesse mundo.



“Essa é a última canção que faço pra você...”



Pai, és apoio, amor, fé e esperança. Sonhar com você? Faço isso toda
hora, aliás, só faço dormir pra não pensar, pra sonhar e para o tempo passar
mais rápido. Sabe pai, é tão difícil superar isso, posso ser vitoriosa e posso
não ser, se por acaso eu fracassar, quero que saibas que nessa vida a coisa
mais importante pra mim é o seu amor. O seu é mais doce que chocolate, é aquela
músico que eu tanto gosto de ouvir. Sei que gostarias de estar no meu lugar,
porém se isto fosse para acontecer com você ou com um irmão, eu prefiro que
seja em mim, não suportaria ver alguém que eu amo sofrer. Principalmente você
que é minha jóia mais rara existente nesse mundo. Te amo pai.
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