fé de pescador
Autor: Adriana Sydor | Publicado: 2015-02-01T22:17:00-02:00


Tom querido,



pela primeira vez desde que nos conhecemos
esqueci do seu aniversário. 



claro, sei que isso não faz a menor diferença
pra você nem aí na sua eternidade e nem se estivesse por aqui nesse efêmero
nervoso. 

mas o acontecido me aborrece.



todo vigésimo quinto de janeiro acordava e pensava:
hoje é dia de Tom Jobim! todo ano era
assim: colocava disco seu na vitrola, olhava fotos, lia sobre você. ficava num
estado de encantamento, te namorando nessa distância que nos cabe: você
infindável, eu provisória. 



não sei o que me deu nesse tão novo e já
complicadíssimo 2015. parece que a vida foi maior que a poesia. 

a verdade é que há tantos pormenores por aqui
que eu acabei dando mais poder a eles e deixando de lado o que faz a vida
sorrir de verdade. não falo do sorriso prático, diário, daqueles que estão ao
meu redor e melhoram tudo, esses os tenho e valorizo a cada instante. me refiro
mesmo ao modo amplo, ao que tenho disponível sem o esforço da minha calejada
existência: olhar pela janela e sacar as flores da imensa árvore da pracinha,
respirar fundo e sentir a chuva vindo, ser tocada pela luz do sol das oito da
manhã, deixar que o vento brinque com meus cabelos... tudo isso faz parte desse
amplo divino que me abranda e entre esses eventos está a sua música. a de
outros também, mas no 25 de janeiro, a sua em especial. 



não quero que minha vida seja menor, por isso
faço questão de manter alguns ritos. no dia do seu aniversário meu compromisso
sempre foi com você. experimentei a sensação de tê-lo esquecido e isso me
deixou apavorada, porque significa que esqueci de mim, esqueci dos carinhos que
acho que mereço e me fiz soldado na obrigação inferior do cotidiano.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 

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mas como você nos repetiu, vasto é o mar,
espelho do céu, querido. e na minha fé de pescador proclamo: a partir de hoje,
todo dia é dia de Tom Jobim!