Noites de insônia - Parte II
Autor: Bau | Publicado: 2012-09-14T17:41:00-07:00

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<![endif]-->NOITES DE INSÔNIA - PARTE II (continuação)

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[...] Mas abro a porta e vejo o rapaz. Ele me olha e sorri fracamente,
vira-se em direção ao elevador. Sorrio de volta um sorriso que ele não vê e,
dentro de mim, grito a plenos pulmões: garoto, ligue o som, venha dançar
comigo, eu vou mostrar o que tenho aqui. Tenho lindos quadros, lindos móveis,
belíssima louça, a casa é limpa, sei cheira a cigarro, mas é limpinha, tenho
uma porção de CDs, também sou amante de jazz, você sabe que sou tradutora? Por
isso fico tanto tempo trancada em casa, se você quiser um dia ajudo você em
algum trabalho, é tão menino, aquele filho que não tive, faço para você um
prato de doces, ou então umas torradas ou bolinhos de chuva, tudo o que você
quiser, venha aqui um pouquinho e dance comigo. O grito cessa ao cerrar da
porta do elevador. Não adianta mais, o garoto já se foi e o prato de doces
ficou vazio sobre a mesa e a farinha de trigo para o bolinho de chuva pode ter
carunchado. A gola do pijama cai, não me animo a levantar as mãos e repetir o
gesto cinematográfico. A atriz em mim desliza de volta à sua reclusão. Sinto
que o barulho dos cabos de aço mexe com meus nervos. 

A
vizinha da direita abre a porta, e me encontra ainda em pé sobre o capacho da
cozinha, a porta escancarada como meu olhar ao cruzar com o dela. Sinto que ela
quase corre, esboçando um leve mexer de lábios, baixa a cabeça, aperta o botão.
Vou até ela, penso, e faço mentalmente o percurso daqui do capacho até à porta
do elevador. Um, dois, três, quatro, cinco. Pronto, cinco passos deixam-me de
pijamas de homem ao lado daquela que põe o ouvido à parede para me escutar e
para quem faço sons noturnos. Lado a lado sentimos o calor que escapa das mãos
quase a se tocarem. Como num filme, seguro sua mão esquerda e ela, num susto, a
retrai. Eu a puxo devagar, suavemente. Ela não resiste, pego a outra mão,
encosto meu peito no dela, deito minha cabeça sobre seu ombro esquerdo, escuto
sua respiração ainda curta. Deixa-se ficar assim por um minuto, quieta, quente,
mãos dadas com as minhas. Solto-as, passo meus braços à sua volta. Ela se deixa
estreitar num abraço manso e submisso. Beijo-lhe as faces, ela beija-me as
lágrimas, que escorrem sem censura. O elevador chega, olhamo-nos dentro dos
olhos, eu a solto, devagar, ela ajeita os cabelos, vai soltando minha mão,
entra na pequena caixa de espelhos e me sorri com ternura. Retribuo-lhe o
sorriso e a porta se fecha, levando a vizinha da direita.