A morte e vida de L.B.
Autor: gataportuguesa | Publicado: 2012-05-31T15:03:00-07:00

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Pela segunda vez me sentei num
consultório para ouvir um diagnóstico.

Pela segunda vez meu mundo
desabou ao ouvir a palavra câncer.

Na primeira vez, eu era apenas
uma garota inocente que acreditava que essas coisas nunca aconteceriam comigo.
Jamais imaginei que esse pudesse ser o resultado das biópsias feitas.

E então, em poucos segundos, eu
amadureci o que muitas pessoas levam anos pra amadurecer.

Fui a forte, a esperançosa e
confiante durante o dia e a desesperada e chorosa a noite.

E a medida que o tratamento ia
prosseguindo e os efeitos foram aparecendo (perda de cabelo, enjoos, fadiga,
irritabilidade, fraqueza), meu coração foi ficando cada vez mais duro, mais
calejado, mais frio...

E o que antes aquecia meu coração
ou me provocava sorrisos involuntários passou a ser apenas mais uma coisa, sim,
coisa, algo sem importância...

Me afastei dos amigos, dos
parentes mais queridos, me isolei no meu mundo, sem deixar que ninguém tocasse
meu coração ferido e amargurado...

Só que, mesmo após o médico me
informar que já estava muito avançado, que uma cirurgia apenas retardaria,
acreditei que não era o fim, que essas células não voltariam a aparecer...

Doce ilusão...

Uma visita inesperada ao médico,
apenas para pegar um laudo, e pronto, back to black!

Ele voltou... Agora no fígado...
Metástase, infelizmente...

E então recomeça a velha rotina,
vários exames complementares, quimioterapia, talvez cirurgia...

E se antes a frieza passara a
fazer parte da minha existência, agora ela a tomou por completo.

Até que ponto vale a pena lutar?