...e passar agosto esperando setembro...
Autor: Debora B. | Publicado: 2013-08-21T13:21:00-07:00

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“Não lembrar dos que se foram, não desejar o que não se tem e talvez nem
se terá, não discutir, nem vingar-se ou lamuriar-se, e temperar tudo isso com
chás, de preferência ingleses, cristais de gengibre, gotas de codeína, se a
barra pesar, vinhos, conhaques — tudo isso ajuda a atravessar agosto.”
&nbsp;Sugestões
para atravessar agosto em Pequenas
Epifanias – Caio Fernando Abreu










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E dá um desgosto, uma tristeza fininha saber que é agosto! Tento viver o mês mentindo que ainda
é julho ou que já chegou setembro. Engulo em seco e olho os ipês
floridos, aflorados da secura do inverno. Finjo que agosto está passando rápido
e espero a primavera vir carregada por setembro!



Eu, tentando andar a vida
sem dar a devida atenção, acreditava que passaria despretensiosamente por
agosto sem viver seus desgostos. Sorvendo a vida aos goles pra suportar o mês
que não passa, engulo tudo com álcool e açúcar. Vou do champanhe à cachaça, do
caviar ao pão com ovo sem sentir qualquer diferença, arrancando suculentos
pedaços que descem sem mastigar. Não por voracidade ou paixão, mas por pura
compulsão, necessidade de preencher os cantos ocos, de embebedar os sorrisos
pálidos. Com açúcar e afeto...ou em busca de. Sonhando com. Não, não, só
querendo sonhar. 

Dá
 vontade de viver só 11
meses e deixar agosto pros leoninos reinarem absolutos, eles que gostam 
tanto
de brilhar. Mas agosto fica grudado na gente, que nem mancha na roupa, 
chiclete no cabelo, cheiro de peixe frito. Dá uma preguiça só de pensar 
no cansado corpo
de agosto, que passou por um inverno gelado, e ainda pede chás e sonos; 
mas
já exige exercícios e dietas. 

E de tanto beber os sentimentos,
um dia engasguei. Um engasgo feio, desses de ter que fazer manobra. Cuspi no chão
uma coisa preta, meio gosma e que se mexia um pouco. Minto. Porque a mentira
fica mais emocionante que a opaca verdade. Não cuspo nada de volta, não
mastigo, não digiro. Nem penso no que ingeri. Só vou devorando assim o mundo, sem
sentir gostos ou texturas. 

E me dá uma vontade de. E
vem na boca um gosto de. As lágrimas saltam dos olhos, suicidas desatentas. E
se for dor? Nem dor é, talvez queimação forte de comida engordurada e cerveja
ruim. E o cachorro louco mordiscando os calcanhares para não esquecer que
agosto está aí e demora a findar.&nbsp; 
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