Sobre a liberdade e a Bethânia
Autor: Lucas Panoni | Publicado: 2013-11-14T10:16:00-08:00

- Não é tão fácil assim. Pedi demissão do meu último emprego no dia do meu aniversário. Fui arrogante, assinei minha ~carta de alforria~. Queria a Liberdade de presente, numa bandeja. Afinal, quem não quer?
Cheio de sonhos, queria escrever, queria criar, fazer arte, a minha arte.


A minha glória é esta:

Criar desumanidades!




Não acompanhar ninguém.





Hoje, passeio com o cachorro, limpo a casa, faço o almoço, enquanto espero resposta sobre as vagas de emprego que me inscrevi. Troquei o cigarro pela yoga. Meditação guiada. Maldita ação guiada. Cadê a liberdade? Faz tempo que não escrevo.


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<!--StartFragment-->Se vim ao mundo, foi
Só para desflorar florestas virgens,
E desenhar meus próprios pés na areia inexplorada!
O mais que faço não vale nada.<!--EndFragment-->






Pois bem, acabou o dinheiro. A arte, nem começou. Como começar o que sempre esteve aqui, antes de mim inclusive? É muita pretensão. E a pretensão prende.&nbsp;

Por outro lado, uma coleira amarrada eternamente no pescoço também prende. O que mais eu estaria fazendo se não privando o meu cão da sua liberdade, amarrando-o na minha mão? E porque o trato como "meu"? Por que esse sentimento de posse? O cão não é meu, o cão é dele mesmo! Quando foi que minha vontade se sobrepôs à vontade dele?


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<!--StartFragment-->Não, não vou por aí!
Só vou por onde
Me levam meus próprios passos...
Se ao que busco saber nenhum de vós responde
Por que me repetis: "vem por aqui!"?<!--EndFragment-->






E esse método ridículo de trabalhar para viver e viver para trabalhar? O trabalho é um sistema de culpa automática sujo. Se já é desumano sobrepor a vontade da minha espécie sobre a de outra espécie, por que eu devo submeter a minha vontade à de outro indivíduo da mesma espécie que eu, e que, portanto, é tão capaz quanto eu, mesmo tendo mais dinheiro que eu?&nbsp;E francamente, sobre dinheiro eu nem preciso comentar né?

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<!--StartFragment-->Ide! Tendes estradas,
Tendes jardins, tendes canteiros,
Tendes pátria, tendes tetos,
E tendes regras, e tratados, e filósofos, e sábios...
Eu tenho a minha Loucura !
Levanto-a, como um facho, a arder na noite escura,
E sinto espuma, e sangue, e cânticos nos lábios...




Mas o meu Calcanhar-de-Aquiles é a imagem. A vaidade. O ego. Tenho que sustentar uma carreira, uma reputação, um lifestyle. Não posso vestir minha bermuda mais confortável para ir até a padaria, porque tenho uma bunda muito grande e ela atrairia a atenção de todos ao redor. Então eu me escondo.&nbsp;

Corre, nas vossas
veias, sangue velho dos avós,
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<!--StartFragment-->

E vós amais o que é fácil!




Eu amo o Longe e a Miragem,

<!--EndFragment-->


Amo os abismos, as torrentes, os desertos...


De jeito nenhum ser livre é fácil. Ninguém é pleno e essa plenitude nem existe. Repito: de jeito nenhum ser livre é fácil. Mas é simples, e dá pra sentir cada vez que o coração acelera, ou quando os pêlos arrepiam, ou quando você tem um orgasmo colossal numa tarde de uma quarta-feira. E não há regras pra isso. Aliás, cê já ouviu "Cântico Negro" recitado pela Maria Bethânia?



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