I don't wanna fall in "another unreturned" love
Autor: David | Publicado: 2011-08-30T21:25:00-03:00

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I apologize now to those who can’t read English, but that’s the language I’ve chosen to express my deepest and most inner thoughts. 
The thing I’ve got to say now is that I don’t wanna fall in love.
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder that I’m not meant for love. Every time I look around it seems that I see more and more people meeting their soul-mates, finding somebody they can share their love with, and most important and nicest of all, they are loved in return.
It seems that when they find this ultimate special person nothing else matters and they are neither afraid nor shy to open themselves up to their loved ones and tell them&nbsp;how they really feel. I feel very frustrated because I could never make myself do that. And I keep wondering: is that because I’m not really in love with this person or it that because I wasn’t meant for love at all?
A lot of people had come through my life, people I had really cared about, people I knew I could have been happy with, but the thing is that I&nbsp;was always unable to stand against my fear of being rejected, so I kept my feelings to myself or when I let them out, I did&nbsp;that the wrong way.
What is going on is that I think I’m going through another of those moments. The more I stay near him, the more I convince myself we could be happy together if we&nbsp;gave it a shot. He’s just gorgeous, smart, funny. Being by his side&nbsp;makes me&nbsp;feel powerful and powerless at the same time.
I’m dying to tell him how I really feel, but I’m afraid of breaking what we already have. I’d rather have his friendship; have the chance to have some great moments by his side, than push him away by telling him. I guess I wouldn’t be able to handle being apart from him.
But then sometimes I can’t help thinking: “what if someday he comes to me and says that he met this guy that touched him or even if he comes to me and says that he’s in a relationship”… I just can’t imagine a situation like that. Earlier this evening, I was telling my sister that when that day is to come, I hope I’ll have had this big fight with him so I won’t suffer that much.
The question that will always remain is “will I ever be able to be happy when it comes to love?” I’m sure my friends and my sister would answer “yeah! You can bet your ass on that”, but the one person who can really answer that hasn’t come along yet, or he has and I’ll be too damn stupid to let him slip away.(15/11/2008)