Crônicas do dia a dia
Autor: Jah | Publicado: 2016-01-19T18:22:00-08:00

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&nbsp;Fazia um tempo que eu não escrevia
nada. Isso já estava me entediando. Mas hoje, como resolvi me despir das
poesias, algo me veio. Veio pelo cansaço e pela poesia. A segunda me deixa
muito cansada. Não paro de ter que pensar. Mas, semana passada tive um
tempinho, e encontrei um sujeito que não tinha contato há tempos: Alberto
Caiero, do Pessoa. Tava procrastinando revê-lo, apesar de pensar nele às vezes,
por achá-lo bucólico demais. Mas não é só isso. Umas letras me tocaram, elas
falavam o quanto é bom pensar em nada e rir sem motivo. Hoje, em meio a tantos
pensamentos exigidos, fiz colegas de trabalho rirem, sem nem pretender...fui
feliz! Cheguei ao lar e precisei escrever, então vim correndo ao encontro de
papel e lápis, sim, LÁPIS! Não queria correr o risco da caneta falhar. E também
senti falta de solidão. 



Não sei se o que eu tinha era
solidão...mas assim vou chamar, por não ter vocábulo melhor e por ter certeza
que a ele não atribuo juízo de valor. Às vezes ela era angustiante, mas me
permitia, com mais facilidade, o NÃO pensar do Caiero. Quando se escolhe
abdicar da solidão, isso fica mais difícil. Aquela tal angústia que às vezes
dava sinais de vida meio que some. 

Mas o contato íntimo, profundo e
desejado de prolongamento com o outro nos coloca cara a cara com nossas
questões, talvez intocáveis caso permanecesse a escolha pela solidão. E tudo
isso não me deixa o pensamento cessar. Mesmo quando tento, quero, o
inconsciente não me deixa em paz: os sonhos agitam minhas noites! Essa é outra
novidade que eu tento acalmar, mas não há o menor controle. O que eu preciso
para uma parada no pensar?