Não sou eu quem me navega
Autor: Tonni Nascimento | Publicado: 2012-10-28T15:42:00-02:00

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É com esse verso do Paulinho da Viola
que volto a uma atividade que me incomodava ter parado. Uma parada quase que
forçada. E, como o urso que após a hibernação volta ansioso por alimentar-se,
volto agora à minha vida, navegando por mares que dantes eu não imaginava
sequer fazer uma breve travessia e agora estou navegando por águas turvas e,
por vezes, turbulentas. Estou de volta a um prazer que tinha esquecido como me
fazia bem, estou de volta à escrita.



Nos
últimos anos tenho passado por uma montanha russa de emoções. Essa frase pode
parecer, para muitos, como lugar comum, mas é um retrato muito correto e atual da
minha vida. Tive decepções, desilusões, surpresas, mas também tive momentos
felizes que me propiciaram emoções que jamais esquecerei. Nesses últimos meses
mudei de emprego, mudei de local de trabalho (dentro do mesmo emprego), obtive
reconhecimentos que dantes não eram esperados. Tive que engolir alguns sapos
(hoje apenas pererecas). 



Obtive
nesses meses desilusões e decepções amorosas, mas adquiri a certeza que tenho
ao meu lado pessoas que me amam e querem o meu bem. Não que isso supra a falta,
que sinto – e meus amigos bem sabem disso, de uma pessoa para envelhecermos
juntos, mas nos instantes em que a tristeza insiste em ser notada tenho a quem
ligar e convidar para assistir um filme, beber um chope ou simplesmente dar uma
volta enquanto colocamos os assuntos em dia. 



Trago
hoje a marca de uma alma que passou por experiências que jamais serão
esquecidas. Derrotas e vitórias que ajudaram a fortalecer minh’alma, fortificar
meu ser para enfrentar – e vencer – as batalhas que estão por vir. Certo de que
tudo que vivi foi uma preparação para o que me espera e um aprendizado onde
posso olhar para trás e ver em que ponto errei e onde acertei. Uma fonte
inesgotável de aprendizado lúdico e sensorial.



Não sou eu quem me navega, quem me navega é o
mar. Essa frase é correta, mas necessário se faz afirmar que mesmo que seja o
mar que me navega sou eu que escolho em que mar eu entrarei com meu barquinho a
vela. Por esse motivo sou eu que escolho as experiências que passarei e situações
que enfrentarei. Contudo a escolha mais importante é decidir qual será a minha
condição ao final da jornada se a de vencido ou vencedor. E essa situação eu já
decidi: ao fim da jornada serei um vencedor, mesmo que ainda sofra algumas
quedas. Mas no final erguerei meus braços para festejar a vitória, que chegará,
mesmo que ainda tardia.



Tonni Nascimento



Publicado originalmente em Pensamentos esparsos em&nbsp; 18/10/2012.