outrodia
Autor: Jay Viegas | Publicado: 2014-07-08T10:46:00-03:00

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Dia outro,
lava o rosto nas águas sagradas da pia e aproveita. Reclama da manhã, da chuva,
da roupa que não secou do café que ficou fraco demais, corre porque tá
atrasado, sempre atrasado, sai de casa e compra o cigarro pra parar de tremer,
acende, se arrepende, eu devia parar de fumar mas eu gosto. Tosse seca, anda
mais rápido que ce tá atrasado cara, sai da minha frente não tenho saco pra
você, pra contato, passo pela porta já pensando em voltar. E a chuva fria, essa
merda de gota que molhou minha meia confirma a vontade, mas não dá. Playboy de
merda. Apressado, anda logo cara, pé outro pé, perna, músculo, essa porra de
sapato que machuca meu dedo. Percebo mais a frente um grupo de pessoas em volta
daquele cara que estava dormindo no muro do pronto-socorro há alguns dias. Que
bom, ele precisa de ajuda, ajudem ele, cuidem, mantenham vivo. Me aproximo e
primeiro vejo suas costas, amareladas, pálidas. Cor de morte, mas não deve ser,
mas é sim. Boca rígida, corpo sujo, olhos abertos olham para o nada, olham para
mim e me acusam de um crime que eu ajudei a cometer. O estomago embrulha. Eu
passei por ele ontem, merda, ele devia estar vivo, mas como é que eu vou saber.
Não posso saber e não posso sentir, preciso ir trabalhar, tou atrasado, agora
essa imagem não vai sair da minha cabeça. Não vai sair da minha cabeça. Minha mente
ativa o processo e busca justificativas - tudo o que levou àquilo, como a
sociedade falhou em cada pequeno nível da vida daquela que é uma pessoa, que
foi uma pessoa, que existiu e que sentiu e que morreu, quem sabe de frio, quem
sabe de fome, quem sabe. Como tudo isso sou eu. Como todas as falhas são também
minhas, eu que me sempre me julguei tão sensível e consciente... é o caralho. Não
fiz merda nenhuma, nem descobri se poderia ter feito. Melhor não saber. Tou atrasado.
Anda mais rápido tia, não tenho saco pra você, pra contato, pra nada.
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