Lili x Confusão
Autor: Lili | Publicado: 2012-09-26T08:27:00-07:00

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Eu não entendo... Como você consegue fazer com que eu sinta tantas coisas ao
mesmo tempo? 

No mesmo instante que sinto uma louca vontade de te abraçar, também tenho
vontade de virar-te as costas e sair correndo.&nbsp; 

Tenho uma vontade louca de beijar-te e abraçar-te, mas também sinto repulsa
e medo por estes meus pensamentos. Sonho contigo quase todas as noites, e
acordo me repreendendo por tal ato, mas sei que é impossível controlar meu inconsciente.&nbsp; 

Às vezes me chamo de louca por ficar pensando em tais
coisas, afinal, sei que tudo isso não passa de uma fase e que tudo irá acabar.
Como das outras vezes. Mas, por que agora parece tão diferente? Por que agora
parece mais forte? Sinto meu coração acelerar como se estivesse a galope. Sinto
uma vontade absurda de gritar e começar a rir quando falas comigo e sinto
minhas mãos tremerem. 

Estou confusa. Minha cabeça dá mais e mais voltas e nada
posso fazer a respeito disto. Ou posso?&nbsp; 

Já pensei em me afastar, ficar longe tempo suficiente para
colocar meus pensamentos e sentimentos em ordem, porém, tenho medo de que se eu
fizer tal coisa você se esqueça de mim... Também pensei na possibilidade de que
se caso eu me afaste eu irei me machucar, pois sei que de certa forma
conseguirei pensar apenas em ti e nada mais.&nbsp; 

Várias ideias já se passaram por minha mente, mas uma era
mais absurda do que a outra.

Então optei pelo menos estranho. Continuar exatamente como
está. Procurarei evitar demonstrar meus sentimentos, meus pensamentos e meus ciúmes,
mas não prometo me controlar quando me der motivos para tal. Você é claro não
precisará ficar sabendo de minhas crises, pois sei disfarçar muito bem. Aprendi
isso com o passar dos anos. 

Disfarçar o que sinto sempre foi minha especialidade. Agora
não havia de ser diferente. 

É muito estranho e confuso, te querer e desejar, mas ao
mesmo tempo querer-te longe, te afastar de mim. Mas sou egoísta demais para
isto.&nbsp; 

Sou confusa demais até para expressar o que sinto. Minhas
palavras serão sempre insuficientes para qualquer coisa. Então acho melhor
parar por aqui, ou este texto ficará maior do que planejava ou queria.&nbsp; 

Até uma próxima.
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