Reluctant Words
Autor: Georgia Soares | Publicado: 2012-01-01T13:24:00-08:00

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&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I’ve
been having personal problems with the English language. I can speak it, read
it, and write it. I learn tons of vocabulary and idioms I’ve never heard of every
day. Yet, I have a problem with the English language, for I cannot open up
myself to it; I cannot transcribe my thoughts using English and only English.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I’ve
been having an affair with the Portuguese language, and I call it affair for I
only use it when I cannot get along with English. Portuguese embraces my
emotional struggles and doubts; it comforts my soul from the ache of a broken
heart, and allows me to pour out all the words that the English language makes
me swallow reluctantly.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Every
night I fancy myself writing my heart out in English. I am filled with joy and
satisfaction when I see myself writing as I intend to, in English. But English
does not seem to desire me reciprocally. And it disturbs my peace to fall
asleep night after night not having been able to share the loud words that pour
out of my heart.

Then
I wake up and hand myself to the Portuguese language.