Minha vida dupla
Autor: Lia | Publicado: 2016-08-10T08:12:00-03:00

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Ontem,
no fim do dia, fui a uma palestra. As meninas ficaram em casa com o pai. Aquele
momento de suspensão, de quebra na minha rotina rigorosa, me deixou perplexa.
Onde eu estava, e quem eram aquelas pessoas?



Pesquisadores envolvidos até os
cabelos com a carreira. Falavam de coisas que eu entendia, e nas quais eu via
sentido. Foi essa a profissão que eu escolhi. Mas era como se aquele ritmo me
fosse impossível de atingir. 



Quando estou fazendo alguma tarefa
braçal, como lavar a louça ou picar cenoura, penso na vida que levo – a vida
que eu pedi a Deus. Levanto às 6h para arrumar as meninas para a escola. Às 7h
e pouco elas saem com o pai. Fico então até às 8h por conta da casa, período em
que lavo louça, estendo roupas, deixo o almoço pré-pronto. Depois, vou estudar.
Às 12h termino o almoço, e então quando elas chegam da escola é o
Deus-nos-acuda. Servir prato, trocar de roupa, varrer chão, e de novo a eterna
louça. Fico com elas toda a tarde, e só posso reclamar mesmo do trabalho que dá
a comida.



Ontem eu tinha de sair depois da
janta pra palestra. Queria que o marido ficasse só por conta das crianças, sem
nenhuma bagunça pra arrumar. Enquanto elas brincavam de bonecas no corredor, estendi
a roupa de todo dia (que agonia) varri e passei pano no chão da cozinha, deixei
a louça lavada. E fui.



Voltei pra casa pensando: como eu
vou conseguir chegar aonde meus colegas vão chegar? Como conseguir compensar as
minhas limitações? "As crianças vão crescer", o marido diz. Sim, já
estão crescendo. A flexibilidade aumenta, mas precisamos continuar disponíveis.




Só quem tem uma família pra cuidar
sabe a loucura que é. A gente pode tentar empregada, babá, escola integral, mas
no mínimo teremos de administrar tudo isso. E se a empregada que dorme já
entrou em extinção – e a mensalista está na lista das profissões ameaçadas –,
colocar a casa em ordem depois da última refeição do dia é uma tarefa
inevitável, mesmo pra quem tem alguém todos os dias.



Como eu disse, vivo a vida que pedi
a Deus. Passo bastante tempo com minhas filhas, consigo acompanhar a vida
delas. Ao mesmo tempo, estou construindo uma carreira que é minha vocação e que
me dá prazer – e que, espero, se mostre mais flexível que meu antigo trabalho,
para que eu sempre tenha o tempo necessário pra família. Não tenho patrão e sou
responsável pela minha própria disciplina. Em suma, sou livre.



Mas o ritmo é outro. A mãe que ousa
carregar os filhos sempre caminhará mais devagar. O que nos salva é a
obstinação. Caminhamos devagar, mas não paramos.