As invasões bárbaras
Autor: Eguillor | Publicado: 2012-11-15T10:26:00-08:00


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Dias desses fiquei sabendo de uma notícia que me fez
perder o restinho de esperança no futuro da humanidade e do gauchismo. Fui
informado pelo meu posto avançado de inteligência nos pampas. E as notícias não
são das melhores. A notícia que iria abrir um Mc Donald’s em Bagé. 



Um dos últimos redutos do bagualismo gaúcho (no bom
sentido é claro) está se rendendo a dita globalização, a pasteurização da
cultura, enfim. Me refiro a nossa cultura. Até dá pra aceitar Mc Donald’s em Tóquio,
no México, no Afeganistão o pessoal do Taleban comendo um sanduíche com um
fuzil e um lança rojão a tiracolo. Mas em Bagé me parece o prenúncio do fim
dos tempos. Em outra época seriam corridos a facão.



Bagé já possui um legado americano importante: um pedaço
da lua. Tá bom, a lua não é americana. Mas é como se fosse uma colônia. E esse fragmento
só está em Bagé por causa da viagem da nave Apolo 17 à lua, em 1972. Um pedaço
de rocha foi oferecido a vários países. O então Presidente Médici, bageense, fez
com que o souvenir fosse parar na sua terra natal. No passado rumores de venda
da tal pedra provocou a ira dos moradores. 



Talvez por uma dívida de gratidão aos americanos devido a este
legado cultural, os bageenses permitirão que o Mc se instale na cidade. As conseqüências
deste novo símbolo americano fincado nos pampas só o tempo dirá. Bagé pode estar
abrindo os portões fortificados e recebendo um cavalo de tróia ou entrando
definitivamente para a história como uma cidade cosmopolita, terra de todos os
povos, um exemplo da tolerância e integração de culturas, onde o nativo das
pampas convive em harmonia com a cultura pop americana e judeus e muçulmanos vivem em paz. 



Mas outras questões deverão ser levantadas para reflexão
nestes novos tempos. Será que vai ter um Big Mac sabor costelão de chão ou vaca
atolada? Parece que o drive thru vai ter que sofrer uma remodelação pro gaúcho
a cavalo ser atendido. A janelinha vai ter que ser mais alta. Sem falar que vai
ter que ter um ponto de reabastecimento pro cavalo beber uma água e tal. Ou um
brinde poderia ser oferecido: uma porção de milho pro velho pingo. Meio improvável,
pois a cultura mais fraca é que tem que se adaptar. E essa batalha, pelo visto,
estamos perdendo.



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Na Semana Farroupilha os atendentes da dita lanchonete
será que se vestirão de gaúcho e prenda? É mais fácil o gauchão entrar pilchado
da espora ao chapéu com barbicacho, de guaiaca e faca atravessada na cintura e
sair com um gorrinho comemorativo da casa com o famoso palhaço estampado, o que
seria uma cena insólita.



Onde fica o velho pancho ou o famoso xis gaúcho, que deixa
saudades e faz lacrimejar os olhos dos conterrâneos distantes, de saudade do
sul? &nbsp;Os Maias estavam certos mesmo. As
invasões bárbaras chegaram ao Rio Grande. Nosso império está caindo. No império
romano começou assim. Se nem Roma resistiu, imagina Bagé. O Rio Grande nunca
mais será o mesmo.
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<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>

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 mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
 mso-para-margin-left:0cm;
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<![endif]-->



Já imagino a gauchada depois do desfile do dia 20 de
setembro, comemoração da Revolução Farroupilha, maior cavalhada do Rio Grande,
na Avenida Sete de Setembro:

- Buena gauchada, vamo dá uma parada pra forrá o bucho.
Prenda, manda um big Mac bagual , uma super fritas e uma big coke. 

- Coca zero, senhor?

- Não te fresqueia, que Coca Zero não é coisa de gaúcho
macho. Colonização tem limite, tchê!


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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
  
  
 
<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>

 /* Style Definitions */
 table.MsoNormalTable
 {mso-style-name:"Tabela normal";
 mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
 mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
 mso-style-noshow:yes;
 mso-style-priority:99;
 mso-style-qformat:yes;
 mso-style-parent:"";
 mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
 mso-para-margin-top:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-right:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
 mso-para-margin-left:0cm;
 line-height:115%;
 mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
 font-size:11.0pt;
 font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
 mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
 mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}

<![endif]-->



(agradeço a colaboração dos conterrâneos A. Atarão e Ellian)