Desordem no Tribunal
Autor: Laion | Publicado: 2012-12-26T03:54:00-08:00

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Gafes em Tribunais

 

  


   

    
   


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Estas
  são piadas retiradas do livro "Desordem no Tribunal". São coisas
  que as pessoas realmente disseram, e que foram transcritas textualmente pelos
  taquígrafos, que tiveram que permanecer calmos enquanto estes diálogos
  realmente aconteciam à sua frente: 

 





**********************************************

Pergunta: Qual é a data do seu nascimento? 
Resposta: 15 de julho. 
P: Que ano? 
R: Todo ano.

********************************************** 

P: Essa doença, a miastenia gravis, afeta sua memória? 
R: Sim. 
P: E de que modo ela afeta sua memória? 
R: Eu me esqueço das coisas. 
P: Você esquece... Pode nos dar um exemplo de algo que você tenha 
esquecido?

************************************************* 

P: Que idade tem seu filho? 
R: 38 ou 35, não lembro ao certo. 
P: Há quanto tempo ele mora com você? 
R: Há 45 anos. 

**************************************************

P: Então, a data de concepção do seu bebê foi 08 de agosto? 
R: Sim, foi. 
P: E o que você estava fazendo nesse dia? 

**************************************************** 

P: Ela tinha 3 filhos, certo? 
R: Certo. 
P: Quantos eram meninos? 
R: Nenhum 
P: E quantas eram meninas? 

***************************************************** 

P: Sr. Marcos, por que acabou seu primeiro casamento? 
R: Por morte do cônjuge. 
P: E por morte de que cônjuge ele acabou? 

***************************************************** 

P: Poderia descrever o suspeito? 
R: Ele tinha estatura mediana e usava barba. 
P: E era um homem ou uma mulher? 

***************************************************** 

P: Doutor, quantas autópsias o senhor já realizou em pessoas mortas? 
R: Todas as autópsias que fiz foram em pessoas mortas... 

***************************************************** 

P: Aqui na corte, para cada pergunta que eu lhe fizer, sua resposta deve ser
oral, ok? Que escola você frequenta? 
R: Oral. 

****************************************************** 

P: Doutor, o senhor se lembra da hora em que começou a examinar o corpo da
vitima? 
R: Sim, a autópsia começou às 20:30h. 
P: E o Sr. Décio já estava morto há essa hora? 
R: Não... Ele estava sentado na maca, se perguntando por que eu estava fazendo
aquela autópsia nele. 

*****************************************************
P: Doutor, antes de fazer a autópsia, o senhor
checou o pulso da vítima? 
R: Não. 
P: O senhor checou a pressão arterial? 
R: Não. 
P: O senhor checou a respiração? 
R: Não. 
P: Então, é possível que a vítima estivesse viva quando a autópsia começou? 
R: Não. 
P: Como o senhor pode ter essa certeza? 
R: Porque o cérebro do paciente estava num jarro sobre a mesa. 
P: Mas ele poderia estar vivo mesmo assim? 
R: Sim, é possível que ele estivesse vivo e exercendo Direito em algum lugar!



Melhores piadas só no Sniper ;D