Dona de tudo
Autor: Simone Rodrigues Abreu | Publicado: 2014-04-28T15:14:00-07:00

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O pior inimigo do
ser humano não são os outros humanos, os animais ou as forças da natureza e
tudo mais que existe no mundo. O pior inimigo do ser humano é ele próprio, que
é incapaz de filtrar sentimentos, que é inábil no momento de selecionar emoções
e que permite ter sua paz de espírito abalada por quem quer que seja: família,
amigos, relacionamentos amorosos, relações de trabalho e estudo, tudo é motivo
para você se desestabilizar. E duvido que mesmo as pessoas mais frias, claro não
estou aqui falando de sociopatas, estão imunes a isso. O círculo de
desestabilizadores pode ser menor para essas pessoas, mas não deixa de existir.




Sei que isso pode
parecer clichê, e talvez o seja de fato, mas é muito estranho você observar
como se sente com relação aos outros e suas atitudes, refletir e se indagar:
por que deixo que tal situação me deixe assim? Por que permito que me magoem,
que me deixem aflita, que me confundam, que me tirem a paz? Por que uma palavra
não dita, um telefonema não dado, uma atenção não dispensada nos desassossega
tanto? Queria não me importar. Não me importar com nada. Queria ser
indiferente. Tratar tudo racionalmente. 



Porque em mim dói.
E quando digo dói, não é apenas figurativamente, num sentido conotativo, mas
sim denotativo e totalmente real: dói na mente, dói no corpo, dói no espírito.
Quebra tudo por dentro. Em vão eu tento me recobrar, me restabelecer, mas
sempre demora, e essa dor aguda, por vezes se torna crônica, insistente, e
latejante por um tempo. E nada que existe em mim de racional consegue dilacerar
essa dor. Só me restando esperar passar por si só. Mas sempre sofro. Não queria
sentir assim, queria ser dona dos meus sentimentos, das minhas ações, como sou
dona das minhas coisas materiais, das quais disponho como quero e quando quero.
Não suporto não ser dona de tudo em mim.



SRA 25/04/2014 ás 20:59