João e (a velha) Maria
Autor: B. | Publicado: 2014-11-29T07:33:00-08:00

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Duas vezes eu quase
morri de saudades de você. Uma quando eu vi Closer e lembrei que o amor, como
deveria, não existe. E outra quando escutei sem esperar “Quem te viu, quem te
vê” e lembrei que você era um pedaço charmoso de tudo o que o mundo e a vida têm
de mais charmoso. Doeu lembrar ou aceitar que esse pedaço não existe mais nem
no predinho azul e nem no sofá azul. Neste dia você finalmente morreu, e eu
chorei de luto sem teatro, de luto não atual, de resto de luto. De um luto
morto. Você namora, casou, sei lá, com a menina de bolsas e saias bonitas que
não tem cara de louca. E essa é a minha vingança, porque eu sei que você é mais
feliz sem loucura, mas a felicidade e a normalidade não existem. Eu ainda acho
que a gente tinha alguma verdade que faz você, nem que seja a cada 100 anos,
arranhar um Chico Buarque em meu luto. Um luto cheio de vida. Vez ou outra
chegam aqueles seus emails que você responde por educação e são cheios de
frases quase íntimas envoltas pela maior frieza do mundo. É como se a cada letra
você reafirmasse que somos amigos cheios daquela inteligência de camaradas
descolados e bem resolvidos que, como tudo na vida que ainda respira e tem cor,
seguiram em frente. Sim, somos isso mesmo, claro. Mas eu caguei para tudo isso
e fico com o seu abraço naquele fim de festa estranho em que você foi o dj e,
para a minha surpresa, me fez matar a saudade do meu mundo. Eu fico com as
danças que sem nenhum medo das críticas eu improvisei para o nosso espaço no
universo. Dancei como uma bailarina que volta a funcionar milagrosamente, e
pela última vez, numa caixinha de música quebrada. Eu fico para sempre com o
que você plantou em mim, essa erva do mal. Você
sabia que me tornei uma mal-humorada-pseudo- intelectual totalmente
insuportável e crítica? Você ao menos era culto de verdade. Você está bem onde
está, eu estou bem onde estou. Mas, como aconteceu naquele dia na praia, em que
eu passei indo com meu novo amor e cruzei você vindo com seu novo amor, não tem
como a gente não olhar para trás.



&nbsp;- Tati Bernardi