Back to the rootz
Autor: Marco Tulio Kehdi | Publicado: 2009-06-09T18:29:00-03:00

I am currently living a very  interesting experience: be back to live with my family.It’s  being an interesting experience. Somehow I can be outside of the group  and analyze it... I don’t know exactly why – but I guess it’s mainly  because I spent many years completely away from everyone here... I can  join them, but not to make part of them anymore.It  should be bad... To do not belong to your family anymore... it should  be. But I don’t feel like that. I can see now that I became a much  better person in many senses. I am not saying that my family is bad. I  couldn’t ever say that. But I felt clearly that some of my bad habits  and behaviours, that gave me so much trouble along the way, are really  much weaker nowadays. I am mainly talking about being aggressive, being  negative and living with a lot of prejudice in my life. In some aspects  (especially about the prejudice) I used to have a different approach of  my whole family. But in the others... specially related to being  aggressive I was always just like that – or one of the worse ones.During  my whole life I was criticized because of that. I always understood  that I was wrong but couldn’t see how much. It’s incredible how living  with my family takes it to another level. It’s common to scream, to  fight all the time for everything... I changed. I am no longer that  much like this. I  believe that the time spent in AIESEC changed me in this way. I am  really much more de-attached of almost everything. I don’t buy almost  any fight. It doesn’t seem to be worthy anymore. There are thousand  other ways to get to the same endpoint – apart of fighting.However,  I am particularly surprised about this capacity of putting myself out  and just understand what’s going on. I can understand my true roots...  what made of me what I am right now. A clear example is about the  concern about the environment, about wasting and being economic. Every  single thing in my house is about reducing costs. It made of me a very  cheap guy. Actually after living outside of Brazil for a while it  helped me to be able to spend more money! :DBut  the main learning point here for me is how we’re able to change almost  anything we want – even in our personality – and into a very short span  of time. If someone would stop on the past and tell me that I would be  able to change that much about my personality, I would doubt forever.  And I could actually do it. Some time ago I asked my first boss in  AIESEC to give me feedbacks and points of improvement. He was totally  right about the points that he wrote, but it was about the Marco that  worked with him. I am now a very different person.Now  I would like to spend some time trying to rescue the things that I  would miss from the old Marco. Something that I felt that I lost was my  idealism. I used to be the person blind for an ideal - which is not the  ideal state but for sure can drive a lot of good things and change many  others.After  writing this post, I am asking myself if it should be a post or a page  in a diary. Is it completely irrelevant? Should I have written it in a  way that it could be more motivational in the line of: YES YOU CAN!  or... is it good enough for people to know about me now or to inspire  them to change themselves? As I told before, I am much more de-attached to  the things... so, I can say that... I just don’t care :DJohn Mayer - 83 (all to deal with what I am talking about! :D)