Longas cartas pra ninguém VII
Autor: Gustave Caligari | Publicado: 2014-08-08T07:14:00-07:00

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Sinto que estou sendo
imbecil. Imbecil e mais nada. E tão sem mais, eu não sinto alegria, mas pelo
contrário, me comprazo da minha própria desgraça, voltando finalmente a sentir,
como a muito não sentia, olhos a marejar em tristeza; maresia de tristeza:
tristezia. 




E que tão sumariamente
me sinto já errado em retroceder um passo, nauseado pela minha condição, e por
fim com a existência de todos os outros. O que é verdade: como um deprimido, eu
não tenho apetite. Para o
jantar, as educadas, que são leves, e quase não indesejadas. 




Mas isso não me dá acesso a me fazer
de ruim, e tentar me convencer que não mereço viver.




Quando se quer um tempo, só um mínimo
tempinho, da sua cabeça, é que ela fala mais. Pare de me tratar assim
consciência! Eu ponho minha alma no que eu faço! Tudo que eu me proponho a
fazer eu faço bem. Não te dá direito, por um mero deslize, me tratar desse
jeito. 




Mas morrer não. Eu não tenho vontade
de morrer mais. A vida tem braços muito longos, e eu espero que eles me
segurem. Não por muito, muito tempo. Eu sou muito bom com planos. Então,
somente até eu crescer e ter alguém não só pra lavar roupas e fazer o que
comer; e comer. Mas dançar e sonhar sobre o paraíso. Só até eu morar num
cantinho sossegado, não perto do mar, nem no campo, sou bem urbano, não muito
litorâneo, mas como casinhas bonitinhas, lugares um pouco altos e silêncio. Com
carros passando longe, pra saber que há civilização formigante, não nem tão perto,
nem tão distante. Árvores, mas não tocar terra, não pisar areia, mas sentir ar,
esperando a temperatura me abraçar. Sem garras de caranguejo ou musgo, mas
vento fresco e garrafas de álcool docinho, sorriso e carinho. A vida tem braços
longos, espero que eles me segurem. Que, muito além da burocracia casuística da
mesa de jantar, me façam pular no ar. 




E como todo mundo, me dê acesso a olhar
fixamente, toda manhã, seu mais belo desalinho.




A
vida tem braços longos, espero que eles nos segurem.




Eu
sei disso, acho que conheço isso de um hino.
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
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  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
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<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>

 /* Style Definitions */
 table.MsoNormalTable
 {mso-style-name:"Tabela normal";
 mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
 mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
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 mso-para-margin-left:0cm;
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<![endif]-->