Vivendo e aprendendo
Autor: Calan | Publicado: 2011-09-08T21:26:00-07:00

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Não sei se isso acontece com todos, mas quando soube do HIV todos os meus sonhos desmoronaram. Realmente achei que não duraria muito e que não adiantaria construir planos a longo prazo para meu futuro. Meus pais são separados e eu moro só com minha mae. Achava que ela ia se casar de novo e que eu iria morar com um companheiro, trabalhar, me formar, ter minha casa, e caminhar com minhas proprias pernas. Confesso que isso já não ocupa mais a minha mente, tudo isso perdeu o sentido pra mim. Todos dizem para voce ser forte, para não desistir dos seus sonhos, mas estou muito deprimido pra pensar nisso agora. Deprimido não so por causa do HIV, mas por tudo que andou acontecendo na minha vida antes disso. Sempre fui muito sozinho e sozinho carreguei muitos problemas nas costas. Era muito rancoroso e de mal com a vida, nunca tive muitos amigos e sempre sofri desilusoes amorosas. Aprendi a não confiar em ninguem, por isso sempre fui uma pessoa muito fechada. Mesmo assim eu tinha esperanças de que tudo iria melhorar um dia e que acabaria sendo feliz de alguma forma. E um belo dia para piorar acabo descobrindo que tenho HIV. É ou não é pra enlouquecer qualquer um? Agora que sei que sou soro positivo só posso garantir que não sou a mesma pessoa que fui. Estou me esforçando pra ser uma pessoa melhor e menos mal humorada. Acho que por achar que já estaria morto acabei dando mais valor a vida. Ainda não parei pra pensar em planos para o futuro. Sei que tenho que manter meus sonhos e nunca desistir de ser feliz, só não estou com cabeça pra pensar nisso agora.Tambem tenho conciencia de que não quero ser uma pessoa revoltada como muitos ficam por qualquer coisa. Não quero perder tempo causando mal a ninguem ou me enfurecendo com coisas pequenas, pensando assim acho que já é um passo para me tornar uma pessoa mais agradavel. Quero pelo mesnos fazer o bem por onde eu passar, para que todos tenham boas lembranças de mim e não mais aquela pessoa cruel e sem sentimentos que fui um dia.