Relato de uma Causa Perdida
Autor: Ғelipe Eller | Publicado: 2012-03-25T16:45:00-03:00

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Continuo bebendo vinho barato para espremer sorrisos,
buscando uma fuga pra minhas frustrações mais secretas.&nbsp; E enquanto isso a vida vai passando bem à
minha frente, levando as pessoas e colocando algumas incertezas no lugar que
costumavam ocupar. Parece drama, mas de fato não é. Apenas não mais. Talvez eu
só esteja filosofando, ou talvez a maior sina da humanidade inteira seja o
poder da adaptação; isso que te faz acostumar com as situações mais incômodas
pelo fato de acontecerem com minúsculos intervalos de tempo. Isso que me faz
não ter vontade de mover um músculo sequer em prol da mudança do meu status
vitalício.



A meia lua está sempre sorrindo, trajando um belo vestido
azul-negro cravejado de cristais reluzentes – quer companhia melhor? Eu queria.
Queria que as conversas de bar deixassem de ser de bar e que o caixa não
sorrisse por arrancar meu dinheiro. Sorrisse e só. Todas as pedras da rua que
testemunharam mais uma noite em solo pareciam ter pena, mas no fundo eu sei que
é apenas mais uma das minhas tentativas de me enganar. Elas perpetuam-se. Eu me
vou.



E indo me vou, carregando mais uma rolha pra minha
caixinha-de-memórias – que só contém rolhas. Ela não é muito diferente da minha
cabeça, que guarda uma memória criada e desemboca num futuro brilhante. Alguns
amores inventados, discussões de mentirinha e mais horas e horas a fio refém do
que eu chamo de vida. Minha vida que me tranca, da qual eu não quero fugir.
Tenho uma pequena alforria nas noites de sexta, mas com o raiar do sol já estou
de volta. Já faz tempo que parei de me questionar o porquê disso ou daquilo.
Estou acomodado nisso que chamo de rotina, só que às vezes dá vontade de ir a
um lugar novo; quem sabe aprender qualquer coisa ou encontrar com a
responsabilidade pra bater um papo –mas só às vezes. E se acontecer, que não
seja nas noites de sexta: é dia do vinho.