Destilando o meu veneno
Autor: João Pablo Trabuco | Publicado: 2013-09-22T19:21:00-03:00

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Acusar, apontar e ofender é muito fácil. Por Deus! Não quero
para mim esta limitação de quem apenas sabe o que é doce através do amargo dos
outros. Ainda que me restasse a opção de não sair ao sol, de estar preso ao
mundo abjeto, de ter apenas o meu corpo como alimento da alma... Ainda assim eu
resistiria. Porque não sou eu quem está pelo fado, mas estou nele, entregue a
ele, e vivo a cada segundo o peso do fado que, por fim, sequer é um fado.
Enxergo-o como um aprendizado, brutal, mas uma lição. Há quem não possa lidar
com isso sem machucar os outros. O fel que resta para mim é tão dolorido quanto
ser sugado por um pernilongo, e se derrama sobre mim sem que me afete plenamente,
pois sou duro como uma rocha (forte como um rochedo). De resto não me importo.
Estou realmente pronto para qualquer adversidade que me afrontar sem pudor, do
mesmo modo estarei eu, firme e renitente a ponto de jogar o mesmo jogo. Que
jogo, porém? E sei eu? Mas estou pronto. Apresente-se a mim, dor do mundo,
junte-se à minha chaga que está aberta e sangra e eu bebo deste sangue com
prazer de vampiro que acaba de descobrir sua infinita sede.&nbsp; O sadismo da minha dor equivale já, e
finalmente, à minha morte. Pois que seja. Entrego-me eu ao que sequer conheço
apenas para conhecer a paz que agora anseio como o sangue, que jamais ouvi
falar, que vi na minha mente, que desenhei cuidadosamente e inventei com maior
cautela para que fosse impossível desfazê-la e arrancá-la de mim. A paz
mortificadora é minha. Em hipótese alguma poderá ser tirado de mim aquilo que
eu mesmo inventei e, neste instante em que vivo a minha morte acabo de
descobrir a magnificência de um corpo estranho, descubro também que inventei a
mim mesmo. &nbsp;E que eu sou o dono de mim.
Ainda que me restasse a opção de ouvir todas as almas que me dizem o contrário,
de me alimentar da solidão do espírito dos outros, de ser o próprio
sacrifício... Ainda assim eu seria meu.&nbsp;



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