O CAUSO DO GAÚCHO QUE FICOU RICO (Contado pelo Professor e Militar Daniel Pedra Lopes)
Autor: Juarez Machado de Farias | Publicado: 2017-04-30T05:14:00-07:00

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O GAÚCHO QUE FICOU RICO









&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; (adaptado
por Juarez Machado de Farias a partir de relato oral do ilustre piratiniense,
professor e militar DANIEL PEDRA LOPES).









&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; ***************




Aquele gaúcho era muito pobre e era peão pra toda a lida em uma
estância.




Certo dia, ao cavar um buraco pra cravar um moirão, achou uma
panela toda enferrujada que estava cheia de moedas de ouro.




Chamou seu patrão, que viu a panela de dinheiro, constatou o
grande tesouro achado,&nbsp; e este lhe disse:




- Ô, Gaudêncio, eu procuro ser justo com todos. Tu achaste essa
fortuna, esse “buião” nos meus campos, então, vamos dividir meio a meio.




Então, o gaúcho – que era pobre – ficou muito rico.




Resolveu &nbsp;morar no Rio de
Janeiro, na chamada “cidade maravilhosa”. Comprou um apartamento de frente pro
mar e, em todas as tardes, por volta de cinco horas, fazia um mate espumoso e
ia pra beira d’água. 




Ficou amigo de um grupo de cariocas que até aprenderam a tomar
mate.




Todos os dias era o mesmo ritual: o gaúcho com o seu mate, dê-lhe
prosa com os cariocas, na beira da praia.




A amizade ficou tão grande que, certa vez, os cariocas sentiram a
falta do gaúcho , e no outro dia também e nos outros que vieram.




Preocupados com o sumiço do gaúcho, foram até seu apartamento e
ficaram abismados com um papel pregado na porta onde estava escrito: AIDS.




Os cariocas se compadeceram com o que viram.




Pensaram: - coitado do gaúcho, contraiu essa síndrome, deve ter
ficado horrorizado e resolveu se isolar. Vamos procurá-lo e levar a ele nosso
apoio. Afinal, hoje, tantas pessoas podem ter uma rotina normal em suas vidas mesmo
tendo AIDS pois os tratamentos médicos evoluíram muito.




E assim fizeram os cariocas. Resolveram vir até o Rio Grande do
Sul.




Chegaram em Porto Alegre, sempre à procura do gaúcho, e, ao passarem
pela estátua do laçador, quem estava ali em frente, tomando seu mate espumoso?




- O gaúcho, mais faceiro que mosca em rolha de xarope!




Quando viu os cariocas, abriu os braços e disse:




- Mas que saudades, indiada! Sejam bem-vindos ao Rio Grande!




Os cariocas, então, acharam estranha aquela alegria do gaúcho e lhe
disseram:




- Olha, gaúcho, a gente veio aqui te apoiar. Sabemos que estás muito doente mas podes contar conosco para o que der e vier.




- Doente? Mas que doente, tchê? TÔ GORDO E SÃO DE LOMBO!




- Ué, mas e aquele papel que deixaste escrito na porta do teu
apartamento, onde dizia AIDS?




E o gaúcho, dando uma gargalhada, explicou:









- Não, indiada, é que eu sô mal na escrita uma barbaridade, mal sei
acuierá as letra. Então, resolvi abreviar meu recado. E botei AIDS que quer
dizer “Adeus, Indiada, Desci pro Sul”.