Missing Home
Autor: Pedro | Publicado: 2015-09-27T17:50:00-03:00


Maybe that’s not the best time in my life ever, I hope there will be better ones. Maybe that’s not the most incredible moment I was expecting it to be, but I hope this is just a new page of the history I’ve been dreaming with.



A friend of mine told me that the easiest and, for sure, most enjoyable way to understand better who you are, is with new experiences. Travelling seemed nice, go away for a while and come back with a bunch of new stories to tell, a couple new friends to call and also to grow a little bit of yourself. As my friend said “There are two kinds of person, those who lived abroad, and those who didn’t”.

Past the last 6 years after high school, my life was filled with “learning steps”, as I like to call. I’ve searched and found ways to grow and understand better the things around me. Learning was always something I was passionate about, I’ve never been a good student, that kid who pays attention and get As in school, but I found learning fun. My dad once told me that you can learn everywhere with everything, every single moment can teach you, every person has some experience to share. I listened to my dad’s words and suddenly I was hunting for new experiences. I’ve locked myself in a cage I made, now I feel that was a way to learn about freedom, to learn about freeing myself in case somebody lock me, and it helped, my friends know how much I changed when I walk away from that prison. Speaking about friends, I’ve made myself a single person, a wanderer. That was a rough time, when I wished, every day, somebody to find me and take me out of that pitch, but now I see that was the way I found to learn living alone and how to climb that horrifying walls with my own hands. I gave up on dreams to learn how to dream again, I ignored rules to learn living with them, I fucked my future to learn how to build a new one.

After all the steps I’ve taken, all the things I’ve learned and all the experiences I’ve had, I felt like that was something missing, something that I could not get there. That was something in me I din’t get yet, the piece I needed to connect my knowledge and finally forget that seventeen forever attitude. So I remembered my friend talking about his travel, then I decided to go somewhere. Wasn’t an easy decision to make. Leaving everything behind and travel ten thousand miles to a place I didn’t know anybody, nor anything about and not even spoke their language was the craziest thing I’ve ever made, the biggest step I toke till now.

Literally the longest year of my life. I lived so many thing this past 16 months that I maybe need an entire week to tell all the stories. Arriving to a place you’ve never heard about before and an year later leaving that same spot felling home has been left behind was the feeling I needed, the piece I missed to connect the dots. There are a few moments that made this feeling happen, a few things that made my home so far away from where I used to call home. Some people I’ve met, some scars I got, some fights I’ve won and the ones I lost. I could take every single month between april 14 and august 15 as a learning step, and all of them would be big ones. I didn’t past a single week without learning something important.




What really make me feel I am leaving home behind? Being the person I wanted to be for long time.