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Autor: Lu. | Publicado: 2012-11-12T18:44:00-08:00

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Era como
viver um romance de verdade, daqueles de filme, em que você encontra a pessoa
“certa” sem estar esperando por ela. Sim foi uma surpresa você aparecer em
minha vida, e uma das boas! Quero que fique claro que te conhecer foi uma das
melhores coisas que me aconteceu nesses anos, e por ter você pra mim por
algumas horas, dias e meses foi extremamente marcante, foi lindo.

Mas nada
nessa vida é perfeito, e parece que nunca podemos ser felizes por inteiro. E
você me revelou a parte triste dos romances, me mostrou de que o que tínhamos não
era pra mim, não era pra dar certo. E mesmo sabendo da verdade, e mesmo sabendo
que outra também ocupava um espaço em seu coração, eu não podia lhe dizer não,
eu não podia lhe negar&nbsp; o meu amor. Seu
amor, ele sempre foi totalmente seu, todo o meu coração, seu.

Na maioria
dos dias eu me via triste, e sua presença tornou-se uma tortura ao mesmo tempo
que era um deleite. Eu não sabia o que dizer, o que fazer, e como fazer...
Então não fazia nada e não dizia nada.

Eu
simplesmente fui deixando rolar, fui levando as coisas do jeito que estavam, e
sempre tinha a esperança de que com o passar dos dias você iria me amar assim
como você dizia que amava.

E eu nunca
me declarei pra ti, pois não conseguia. Eu nunca me sentia pronta pra lhe dizer
o quanto o meu coração te desejava cada dia mais, o quanto eu tinha medo de que
você fosse embora e não voltasse, o quanto eu te amava profundamente, embora
fosse muito nova e fosse minha primeira experiência nesse assunto.

Eu te amava
e desejava cada dia mais, e mais, e mais. Mas simplesmente não conseguia dizer.
Eu queria, mas não podia dizer.
Mas porque? Será que
não era real o que eu sentia? Será que eu me apaixonei por você, e pela ideia
de te amar e ser amada? Porque afinal é o que todo ser humano deseja.
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Mas mesmo
nunca tendo me declarado, por favor, nunca duvide que eu lhe amei. Nunca duvide
disso, pois eu amei e muito. Você me tornou uma pessoa melhor, meu sorriso no
rosto, minhas noites em claro pensando no dia que tivemos, aquela sensação
gostosa de borboletas no estomago, tu tornou todos esses sentimentos reais meu
amor.

E eu ainda
te amo, bastante. Hoje aquelas lembranças me trazem uma sensação chata de que
eu poderia ter feito melhor. Eu deveria ter feito melhor, e devia isso a mim e
a você.

Me preocupo
contigo, quero ver o seu melhor, quero ver você feliz, muito feliz. Coisa que
eu não tivesse a capacidade de te fazer. 
E eu quero ser feliz
também, na verdade eu sou. Hoje sou mais feliz do que quando estava contigo,
mas eu sinto sua falta. Eu sonho contigo às vezes, e eu me pego pensando em ti
ao ouvir alguma música romântica. Me pego querendo te ver, e ficar deitada na
cama só olhando pro seu rosto (lembra de como eu gostava de te olhar dormindo?)
Mas não há mais espaço pra você em minha vida, confesso que ao sair você deixou um vazio que até ninguém preencheu. Eu segui em frente e você ficou pra trás, e adivinha? Sou mais feliz sem você!