Para o único homem que um dia eu amei...
Autor: Swelly Swzy | Publicado: 2010-11-14T15:46:00-08:00

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Antes de dormir, muito mais cedo do que&nbsp;agora durmo, eu pensarei nele, enquanto mexo em meus cabelos brancos. Estarei&nbsp;com o celular na mesa de cabeceira feita de livros velhos e empoeirados, esperando uma mensagem ou uma ligação. Sentada na cama, estarei escrevendo um email de bom dia para o único homem que amei em toda a minha vida. Imaginarei seu sorriso - o mesmo&nbsp;que conheci um dia - ao ler na manhã seguinte minhas palavras catalépticas. Continuaremos trocando juras de amor? Continuaremos culpando a vida e o destino pelos nossos desencontros? É, talvez nunca seja a hora certa para nós dois. Em uma outra vida, talvez ele me diga. E eu, talvez acredite. Não mais faremos planos absurdamente perfeitos, pois não teremos força nem tempo suficientes para concretizá-los. Mas mesmo assim, eu serei feliz por&nbsp;saber que&nbsp;ele ainda&nbsp;me lê, mesmo sabendo que ele não mais existe –ficaria feliz se soube-se que ele ainda existe mesmo que fosse meio torto, meio louco, meio triste e meio só&nbsp;- em alguma parte do globo. E existirão muitas manhãs,&nbsp;muitos invernos e muitas sextas-feiras&nbsp;em que me lembrarei dele. E sua presença invisível não será mais um fantasma, e sim um anjo, que sempre me lembrará&nbsp;das palavras que me foram ditas há muitos anos atrás... "Vamos juntos, eu e você... Minha mão&nbsp;te apoiará para sempre enquanto tu caminhares à beira dos desfiladeiros... Meus braços&nbsp;te erguerão e te colocarão em meu colo... Porque se eu estiver contigo, nada mais me importa... E eu te espero o tempo que for". E eu continuarei a acreditar nessas palavras, pois amar este homem foi o sentimento mais parecido com fé que experimentei. E em meus últimos dias, segurarei com minhas mãos brancas e enrugadas&nbsp;a folha de papel com o email mais importante que ele me escreveu. Que eu lia cinco, dez, vinte vezes ao dia para ter forças, quando a minha vida estava em ruínas.&nbsp;Suas palavras salvaram a minha vida. Ele salvou a minha vida. E ao lembrar de tudo o que aconteceu, meus olhos de areia então não mais movediça, e sim&nbsp;solidificada pelo tempo,&nbsp;derramarão lágrimas indolores. De uma saudade&nbsp;curada pela falta de remédio e de um amor conformadamente eternizado no invisível do Universo.&nbsp;Mas em alguma manhã, ele não mais encontrará meu email de bom dia. Ou eu não receberei a resposta do último que enviei. Então, de nossa&nbsp;história de amor, restará apenas o livro que ele me pediu tanto para escrever. E que eu levei quase uma vida inteira para compor, porque eu tinha medo de chegar às suas últimas páginas.