ANDORINHA
Autor: Ana Guimarães | Publicado: 2014-11-17T15:33:00-02:00






ANDORINHA





Odeio a
amplidão que vislumbro agora, pois revela o quanto me contive. O quanto evitei
o vazio porque temia não ser &nbsp;capaz de
preenchê-lo, mesmo que parcial e temporariamente. Como fugi do espanto da arte quando
dava vertigens. A quem admirei para manter distante, inatingível. De lição em
lição, a mesma treva. Nada aprendi por mais que repetisse. Primaveras
esperançosas se foram. Todas as cores do arco-íris, em vão. Talvez retornem. E então, quem sabe encontrem, com sorte, um coração mais aberto, um criançar da
alma, uma enxurrada de pétalas se abrindo. Ah, se pudesse me rebaixar como a
gueixa e manter a altivez da garça, sua postura! O amante perceberia a jóia rara
guardada num cofre a sete chaves, há sete anos, só para ele. Ou para outro
qualquer por quem me apaixonasse. Exumaria ossos de antigos amores.
Transformaria cemitérios em maternidades.



Ao invés do
galo cantar, o cão ladrou anunciando a madrugada que já ia longe em
seu silêncio. Gemidos de prazer ou de dor ainda podiam ser ouvidos, e a escuridão era
como ter gazes nos olhos&nbsp; depois da
cirurgia. De repente, uma canção mal começada e logo interrompida avisava como
uma vida pode ser, de forma brusca, ceifada. Sem sentido. Se todos saíssem às ruas
com uma vela acesa nas mãos, nem assim, creio, iluminaria a alma dessa cidade, para sempre perdida. Meus perplexos olhos que, embora cansados,
nunca se cansam de enxergar, vêem, às vezes, &nbsp;que não há mais saída. Que tudo deve
continuar assim até um fim que nunca virá.

Lembro-me bem, domingo era um dia tão lindo, apesar da missa obrigatória e do Faustão. Fui até a varanda, abri a janela, escancarei as asas, ensaiei um vôo, mas não consegui voar. Serão elas grandes e pesadas? Que me importa se caísse? Dois ou três pontos, um pouco de repouso e tiraria novo brevê, se preciso fosse. &nbsp;No entanto, tenho medo. Mais do que medo (que instiga, provoca, desafia) prudência, que paralisa, justifica a inércia. Esse chão lá embaixo, onde pombas comem o milho atirado se parece com aqueles dias que ficaram para trás. Acontece que sou andorinha. Prefiro outro alimento e só preciso de bando no verão, as outras estações faço sozinha.



Ana Guimarães

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