"Solidão amiga"
Autor: Bela Fábula | Publicado: 2011-02-24T15:13:00-03:00

Meu
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 <![endif]-->  Apegar-me a solidão.Corresponder ao seu abraço frio, mas presente. Venho percebendo que quando mais preciso é ela que está ao meu lado. Depois de minhas tentativas frustradas de comunicação com outros, as quais ela observa com prontidão, esperando a hora de me acalentar.Insisto em não querer sua companhia, quem já viu alguém só ter a solidão pra si? Isso no mínimo é estranho, ridículo talvez. Mas a cada tentativa não concretizada, a cada rejeição vinda daqueles que talvez me fizessem acalmar os ânimos, calar o choro, ela se aproxima mais. De mãos leves e braços abertos, sorrindo como quem sorrir malignamente.&nbsp;Como quem está satisfeitíssima com a situação.Ela me causa medo, eu só quero uma voz que me conforte, não exijo muito. Pouco depois, percebo que perdi a batalha, quando me olho ao redor, ela já me aconchegou em seus braços e me tomou o domínio. Começa ai um estranho relacionamento vicioso, todas as noites fico apreensiva aguardando a sua chegada. Imagina se ela decide não vir mais me ver? Quem iria vir no seu lugar? Agora, eu não a deixo mais partir, bem queria, mas é mais forte que eu. A solidão vicia, ao ponto de apenas quere-la para mim, não quero dividir a minha solidão.&nbsp;E não me achem egoísta, eu tenho direito de querer o que bem for. A verdade é que você vai se cansando das coisas, das duvidas, das pessoas, de você. Cansaço, essa deve ser a palavra exata. Não queria comentar, mas sei que vai chegar uma hora em que vou me cansar da solidão, e cá entre nós não sei como dizer isso a ela. Você tem um palpite? Alguém teria um palpite?Como vou dizer a única pessoa que se faz presente que não a quero mais? Vocês devem estar me achando louca não é? Eu aqui materializando a solidão, como se ela fosse uma pessoa de carne e osso. Mas é como se fosse, ela é tão presente que se faz pesada, materializada, até sei que a cor de seus olhos é prata, prata de vazio sabe? Ela não me revela muitas coisas, não fala muito de si, mas me ouve durante horas e não reclama dos meus lamentos e soluços desajeitados, da minha leve aparência de desfalecida, ela só me observa e me faz pegar no sono.Espero que convivamos bem até quando for necessário, e que quando chegue a hora de nos separarmos ela apenas se vá, sem olhar para trás.Sabe como é não gosto de despedidas.