Bloco de notas, bloco de memória.
Autor: Oidocu | Publicado: 2013-07-08T00:31:00-07:00

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Acabo de abrir um bloco de desenho – tenho vários,
semi-acabados, quase completos – e achei diversas coisas, boas e ruins.

Achei uma carta/mensagem que escrevi de próprio punho para
enviar para algumas pessoas, ex-amigos, pessoas que se perderam ao longo do
tempo, em uma época em que não conseguia, de jeito nenhum, olhar nos olhos das
pessoas. Li essa carta – extensa, com várias e várias folhas – e percebi que
todo aquele sentimento ali colocado, que antes era tão intenso e importante já
que me fez colocar o coração no papel, ficou para trás. Assim como as
pessoas a quem ela seria endereçada.

Nunca enviei a carta, pelos motivos mais importantes e
também mais banais. Alguém poderia dizer que, mais uma vez, deixei uma coisa
inacabada. Pode até ser, mas olhando a situação agora, quase três anos depois,
vejo que isso foi um acerto. Foi a melhor coisa que pude fazer. Para quê gastar
energia em uma coisa que não daria em nada? Aqui estou hoje, muito bem na
medida do possível, sem muitas lembranças dessas pessoas que passaram,
perguntando-me o por que de tanta preocupação.

Hoje (08/07/2013) ouvi uma frase muito interessante em um
filme, mais ou menos assim: “todos os dias ao se levantar você terá que tomar
uma decisão, deixar o que as pessoas falam de você ditar ou não o rumo de sua
vida". Pois é. Sempre falei que isso não me preocupava. Pura falácia. Preocupou
e me prendeu por muito tempo, e até hoje me esforço para vencer essa coisa,
esse cancro, que me faz dar importância ao que os outros pensam. Acredito que cada
dia é mais um dia, e que hoje, com a cabeça levantada, penso estar dando importância para o que é importante, a saber, preocupar-me apenas com os que se preocupam comigo. O resto, é resto. Não vale nada.

Nesse mesmo bloco tinham coisas bastante interessantes, como
projetos de histórias e quadrinhos que deixei para trás. Não mais. Tenho que
terminar isso, para deixar de vez esse passado e essas arestas para trás. Há um
mundo todo ensolarado ai, só esperando que a gente o pegue e o aproveite. Eu só
demorei um pouco para perceber.

Até.
C.