Mudança
Autor: Cota pra Mulher | Publicado: 2014-05-23T16:02:00-03:00



&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Naquele
dia, eu havia tomado uma grande decisão. Algo que mudaria a minha vida.
Arrancava as peles dos meus dedos polegares sem parar. Eles já estavam em carne
viva. Eu tenho essa mania de arrancar as peles dos polegares quando estou
ansiosa.

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;Era verão. Seria diferente se fosse
no outono? Outono é a minha estação preferida. Olhei através da enorme porta de
madeira. Aquela estrada era pouco movimentada e o asfalto estava em ótimas
condições. Eu sempre sonhei em fazer isso. Correr livre sem me preocupar com o
tempo, a hora e a velocidade. Correr. Correr de felicidade. 

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Sentei-me no sofá. Abri o livro. Os
envelopes caíram. Abri o primeiro envelope. Desdobrei as folhas. Li novamente a
carta. Lambuzeira de lágrimas sobre os papéis. Abri o segundo. Retirei a
fotografia. “Há certas coisas que, por sua beleza, devem ser vistas em
silêncio”, pensei.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;A casa estava cheia de caixas
empilhadas. Ainda faltavam muitas coisas para serem empacotadas. Eu estava
exausta. Encaixotei e empilhei tudo sozinha. Precisava ser assim.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;O caminhão chegaria na manhã
seguinte. Eu não estaria mais lá. Meus pais foram encarregados de coordenar a
mudança. Desfazer a bagunça que fazia a casa parecer cheia. Meu quarto ficaria
vazio. Meu piano deixaria um buraco na sala de visitas. Eu seria a última filha
a sair de casa.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Não sabia o que fazer com as minhas
recordações. Caixas cheias de memórias. Cartas de amor, objetos de grande valor
sentimental, retratos de amores acabados; memórias que gostaria que ficassem
guardadas apenas em meu íntimo. Tive dúvidas sobre partir. É sempre assim.
Quando o que tanto desejei acontece, tendo a recuar. É assustador quando tudo
dá certo.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Uma vida sendo deixada para trás.
Outra para começar. Eu sabia que esse passo era importante para que eu me
aproximasse dos meus sonhos. Essa seria a primeira de todas as mudanças que eu
ainda planejava fazer.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rasguei tudo. E dormi.



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