Das cinzas
Autor: Malu Machado | Publicado: 2013-09-17T12:28:00-03:00


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Click na foto e conheça o trabalho de Maria Turchenkova



Enquanto acreditar em teses, minha vida se esvai. Essa foi a
última frase que ouvi de minha prima, antes de sua morte. Ela não queria esse
mundo. E esse sentimento é tão profundo que quantos de nós não os sentimos
todos os dias?



Eu não quero corrupção, mas dou o meu jeitinho. Acredito em
parto humanizado, mas me conformo com uma cesariana eletiva. Acho que a mochila
do meu filho anda pesada e que é um massacre a cobrança de estudar para um
vestibular sobre uma criança de 7 anos, mas matriculo meu filho na escola mais competitiva
da cidade. Eu amo dançar, mas não acho tempo. Adoro meus amigos, mas não tenho
assunto com eles que não seja do meu interesse. Não sei escutar e quero ser
ouvida. Não abraço e quero abraços. Não concordo com o trabalho que faço todos
os dias, mas me arrumo e vou. Todos os dias. A vida se esvai por entre meus
dedos. Não percebo. A vida se foi. Hoje estou velha e cansada. As pernas
atrofiadas, o coração duro, o sorriso fugiu para algum lugar da inocência
perdida.



Foi-se. E a fruteira da sala está vazia.



Não carrego memórias felizes, apenas momentos de ausência.
Minha vida foi uma enorme ausência de mim mesma. Sem coragem para as coisas que
verdadeiramente acredito.

Não me impus, não me encontrei, não me realizei. Agora sou
sombra sem afago.



Hoje um véu se desvendou. Antes de enterrar
minha prima, desenterro minha alma e volto ao jardim do mundo. Vou buscar o encanto.&nbsp;



Hoje, amanheci mais leve.