Fixação
Autor: Laís Gabriela | Publicado: 2011-11-09T12:29:00-08:00

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Essa é a primeira vez que escrevo aqui diretamente no computador (é relevante de certa forma comentar isso). Em todas as outras escrevia em um papel quando e onde desse vontade (ou sentisse necessidade) e depois copiava pra cá. Durante a minha vida, não sei se por determinação dos genes ou do meio em que se vive, aprendi a ser muito prática. Se não nas ações, pelo menos nas palavras, idéias. As pessoas que eu admiro também costumam ter essa característica. Se quiser comer, coma; se não: morra de fome. A arte de se distanciar de uma situação pra resolvê-la objetivamente. Como diria mamãe “Adiantou nada você fazer isso. Resolveu o quê? Me diga”. E isso vem me poupando de aturar dramas sem sentido, desculpas esfarrapadas, enrolações, meias-verdades. Quando quero saber algo pergunto, quando quero dizer eu falo. Pra mim parece tão... melhor ser verdadeiro. Acho que aqueles clichês que aparecem em filmes, nos quais as pessoas morrem e se arrependem de não ter dito ou feito o que queriam, contribuíram também. Não quero sob hipótese nenhuma me arrepender de nada porque sei que tudo que eu passei foi importante pra mim hoje. Não quero uma vida sem novidades, que em 10 anos pareça que nada aconteceu, sem mudanças. A imobilidade destrói o “ser” do “humano”. Cadê a evolução? (Biologia, me ajude.) É claro que o fato de tentar racionalizar tudo não me faz conseguir sempre. Por algum motivo que não consigo explicar (eu e meu ceticismo) acabo reagindo diferente do previsto diante de algumas situações. É incontrolável. O que aconteceu? Tenho plena consciência do que vivo, do que ocorre, sei quando estou errada e certa, sei dos motivos pra ficar alegre ou triste, sei como deveria agir. Mas e daí se eu não quiser? Permito que minha consciência reaja como ela achar que deve, sem explicações, sem cobranças. Não vim com manual. Nem a vida veio. &nbsp;