Versões do jeito de pensar...
Autor: Gilmar Morais | Publicado: 2017-04-09T21:40:00-03:00

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Humor 

I- CORTADORA DE PICLES



O sujeito trabalhava há
anos em uma fábrica de conservas e, um dia, confessou à mulher que estava
possuído por uma terrível compulsão: a vontade incontrolável de colocar o pênis
na cortadora de picles.
Espantada, a esposa sugeriu que procurasse um psicólogo, mas o marido relutou,
prometendo que iria pensar no assunto. Foi enrolando, enrolando, enrolando e
chateando a esposa com aquele assunto, até que ela falou: 

—Então coloca esse
negócio na cortadora de picles, o problema será seu. 

Um certo dia, ele chegou
em casa cabisbaixo, profundamente abatido: 

—O que foi que aconteceu, querido? — perguntou-lhe a
mulher preparando-se para o pior.


—Lembra-se de
minha compulsão de enfiar o pênis na cortadora de picles?

A mulher solta um grito raivoso: 


—Oh, não! Você não fez isso?!?


—Sim, eu fiz!


—Meu Deus, o
que aconteceu? - já vendo que ele não estava ferido.

O marido responde, cabisbaixo: 


—Fui
despedido... 


—Mas, e ... a
cortadora de picles?


—Ela também
foi despedida!





II- JOÃOZINHO E A PROFESSORA




Uma professora pergunta
a seus alunos:&nbsp;



—Se existem cinco
passarinhos em um galho e você atira em um, quantos sobram?


—Nenhum — responde Joãozinho. Todos saem voando com o barulho da pistola. 

A professora fica
surpresa com a resposta.



—Não era essa a resposta
que eu esperava, mas...eu gosto do seu jeito de pensar.


—Eu posso fazer uma pergunta pra senhora?— pediu Joãozinho.


—Pode, Joãozinho.


—Existem três mulheres sentadas em um banco comendo picolés. Uma está lambendo,
outra está chupando e a terceira está mordendo. Qual delas é casada?&nbsp;



A professora fica
vermelha e responde timidamente:&nbsp;



—A que está chupando.


—Não, a casada é a que tem anel no dedo, mas eu gosto do seu jeito de pensar.