Afogada
Autor: Ladybug | Publicado: 2011-09-15T15:33:00-07:00

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Ele brincou e brincou até se saciar. Beijava meus lábios,
suspirava em cima de mim e ainda me chamava de “amor”.

Era assim, sempre que ele sentia vontade, ele me ligava com
a maior cara de pau com um “quero te ver”, e eu tão debilmente aceitava aquela
condição e “encontrava” o rapaz. Ele não tinha nada de mais, nada que o
deixasse muito interessante ou despertasse verdadeiramente o desejo, mas eu não
nego que mesmo assim eu gostava dele e ficava feliz com seus convites para me
usar. Certamente eu era a idiota perfeita. No fundo eu sabia que aquilo nunca
ia dar certo, que eu não teria nada além de corpo vindo dele, o que era pouco
demais para mim.

Depois de um tempo eu pude perceber que tudo que eu gostava
nele, eu mesma tinha criado. Eu inventei que eu gostava do seu cheiro, do seu
corpo, do jeito que me pegava... E depois que eu anulei toda essa fantasia não
sobrou nada que me segurasse, que me fizesse desejar estar com ele. 

No lugar de dar amor eu resolvi guardar amor pra mim. Só
assim eu pude entender que quando você se sente muito só, você é uma presa
fácil e pode se envolver com alguém porque tem medo de ficar
sozinho, e acabar permitindo que gente qualquer entre na sua vida e te afogue
com ilusões.



M.A.L.L.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eu nunca me explico sobre minhas postagens aqui, nunca falo da onde saíram as idéias. Esse texto não é o tipo de coisa que eu costumo publicar, nem eu curto muito esse estilo "desabafo", mas tá aí uma coisa diferente pra quem se interessar.