Lembre-se de mim.
Autor: Alriany Karla | Publicado: 2012-05-09T08:48:00-07:00

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Amigo: — Cara, você se arrependeu de ter terminado com ela?
Ele: — Olha pra mim, você acha que eu me arrependi? Eu saia sexta e só voltava
segunda de manhã pra trabalhar. Eu peguei a mãe, a filha, a prima, a tia e só
não peguei a vó da vizinha, porque ela tinha hemorroida. Eu tinha cortesia pra
entrar nas melhores baladas. Eu esnobei as garotas que todos os homens queriam
pegar. Transei de segunda à sábado, e domingo eu via futebol. Detalhe, sem ninguém
me chamando pra ir ver a porra do casal feliz no Faustão ou sei lá o que. Me
mandavam mensagens o dia todo e se você perguntar se eu li alguma eu vou te
dizer que não. Eu podia ver filme pornô, levar a guria que eu quisesse pra
minha cama e depois chamar o taxi pra ela ir embora pra eu não precisar gastar
gasolina, porque convenhamos, tá cara pra caralho. Eu era o que elas queriam de
qualquer jeito. E eu, queria todas de qualquer jeito, mas só um pouquinho cada
uma. Chamava todas de bê, pra não errar o nome de nenhuma. E por que diabos
elas achavam que isso era fofo? Eu ia pra academia as três das tarde e voltava
as oito da noite. Tenho uma coleção de calcinha perdida na última gaveta da
minha estante. Eu saia na rua com o som alto no carro e podia escolher a dedo,
quero essa, depois essa e mais tarde, essa. Na minha geladeira nunca tinha uma
caixa de cerveja, eram no minimo quatro. Eu não devia nada pra ninguém. A única
guria que me cobrava alguma coisa, era minha mãe. Me cobrava minha cueca lavada
e só. Não tinha que ir no cinema ver as comédias românticas e falar “own amor,
eu faria o mesmo por você”. Não tinha que deixar de ir pra balada pra fazer um
lanchinho em família. Não precisava me preocupar em horário e olhava pra quem
eu queria na rua. Minha casa tinha festa toda quarta. Camisinha aqui tinha do
Bob Esponja até das Três espiãs demais. E eu ainda dava de brinde um
moranguinho pra cada garota. Meu trampo era sentado na frente do computador.
Peguei tua irmã cara. A amiga dela. A Carolzinha filha do Prefeito da cidade. A
Jú filha do gerente do banco. Loira, morena, ruiva, que gostava de pagode até a
que gostava de gospel. Eu tinha o mundo na minha mão.
E você me pergunta se eu me arrependi?
Me arrependi caralho. Porque toda essa porra de vida perfeita nesses 4 meses
que fiquei sem ela não teve valor nenhum depois que eu vi ela sorrindo de um
jeito que nunca sorriu pra mim, pra um outro cara aí. Pra um vagabundo
desgraçado que vai fazer ela feliz, porque eu, eu não fiz ela feliz e ainda
mandei a melhor coisa que eu tinha na vida ME ESQUECER. E sabe o que é pior?
Ela me OBEDECEU.