Jardineiro
Autor: Heloisa | Publicado: 2012-11-05T19:25:00-02:00


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Ela
nunca soubera muito bem lidar com os outros. Cansada de tanto errar e
ultrapassar barreiras, talvez por proteção, criou uma barreia pessoal com medo
de quebrar as regras pessoais dos outros, que só descobrimos quando já é tarde.



Fora
assim a vida toda: Sempre que tentara se encaixar em um grupo, iludia-se. No
começo, era quieta e cautelosa, com medo de ferir alguém com algo que dissesse
espontaneamente, sem a intenção de machucar. Depois de se sentir mais à
vontade, plantava a semente da amizade no solo fértil, e a deixava crescer
livremente, sem aprisiona-la demais. E sempre, quando esta semente estava
germinando e brotando, quando a amizade parecia fluir e finalmente acreditava
que ali criaria raízes para a vida inteira, alguém ia lá e a arrancava pela
raiz, excluindo-a daquele círculo de amizade que um dia julgara ser o seu lar.



Eram
tantas as experiências assim, que já não sentia mais raiva ou ódio quando se
via sozinha novamente. O sentimento que brotava em si, agora, era somente de
tristeza e decepção. Sentia-se tão humilhada por ter acreditado cegamente
naquela nova amizade, por ter sido deixada de lado, retirada do solo onde
outras flores cresciam, que não conseguia mais se rebelar com a situação.
Apenas chorava, em silêncio, tentando entender porque há jardineiros tão cruéis
nesse mundo. A tristeza não cabia em palavras ou em lágrimas... A tristeza de
ser trocada, abandonada, esquecida, desprezada por aquelas irmãs do jardim.



Quebrou
suas próprias regras quando aceitou semear-se em outros lares, porque de tanto
que sofrera, decidira um dia que nunca mais permitira suas raízes ultrapassarem
a barreira de seu próprio jardim. E as quebrou porque, mais uma vez, achou que
o sol brilharia da mesma forma sobre novos lares. Mas, mais uma vez, iludiu-se
e errou.



Após
refletir, respirou fundo e ergueu a cabeça. Era preciso arar a terra para
continuar a viver em seu pequeno céu.




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