Do Que Eu Nunca Esqueci
Autor: Andresa Violeta Alvez | Publicado: 2016-04-27T12:10:00-03:00

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&nbsp;Essas manhãs frias me fazem
voltar no tempo... 
Lembrar o vento cortando meus lábios e meu rosto pálido; assim como cortava os
seus, tão rosados e demonstrando sinal de saúde, bem mais saúde que eu.
Em alguns dias você me ajudava com os livros sempre tão pesados, em outros você
se atrevia a me dar a mão, o que fazia meu coração sambar dentro da minha caixa
torácica.
Era mágico estar ao seu lado, procurar um lugar ao sol de junho para aquecer
meus ossos doloridos. Você sempre olhava assustado para minhas veias das mãos e
não entendia nada daquilo. Você sentava perto, bem pertinho, dizia que era para
o frio ir embora mais rápido.
Dividíamos fones de ouvido, trocávamos músicas e de vez em quando alguns
bilhetes. 
Quando eu sumia você só faltava chorar, fazia manha dizendo que sentia minha
falta e que eu não deveria mais fazer isso. Mas eu sei que você sabia que era
um mal necessário. 
Nas férias você me telefonava para dar bom dia, e do bom dia se resultava numa
conversa de uma hora pra mais.
Quando eu ficava triste demais ou queria chorar, eu telefonava pra você; me
trancava no quarto dos fundos da casa e procurava abrigo nas suas palavras, na
sua voz de menino.
Mas foi numa dessas manhãs frias que tudo se desfez, que na minha cabeça apenas
se formou um labirinto, uma caixa cheia de dúvidas. 
Não trocávamos mais nem um olhar, não tinha mais sua mão ao lado da minha e nem
o abraço de despedida. Eu já não te conhecia mais.
E com o passar dos dias, meses, anos, você se tornou outra pessoa, já não era
mais o mesmo, já não precisava mais de mim.
Tudo que me restou foram as manhãs frias, que me levam para o teu lado, que me
fazem marejar de saudades. Guardo numa caixinha todos os perfumes, o cheiro do
bolo de cenoura que vinha da cantina, o gelado do piso da escada dos fundos do
colégio, o sabor enjoativo do suco de limão, o cheiro de shampoo do seu cabelo
angelical.
E em dias como o de hoje, eu me permito chorar, sofrer um pouquinho, morrer um pouquinho
de saudade.
Com uma parcela de realidade, sabendo que nunca mais irás voltar.
E com uma parcela pequenininha, quase inexistente de esperança, querendo
alimentar e crer que em algum lugar do mundo que se perdeu, aquele menino
branquelo dos olhos castanhos ainda vive, e que ele ainda sente a minha falta.
Eu não alimento apenas a realidade, eu alimento também os monstros dos meus
pesadelos, os sonhos de dias melhores e a esperança de ti.