Um banho para lavar a alma
Autor: Carolina Filipaki | Publicado: 2012-07-18T08:25:00-07:00

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O dono da funerária era casado, ele estava feliz com o
casamento, a esposa, ao que tudo indicava, não muito. Ela tinha uma relação
extraconjugal, a qual não era segredo para ninguém. O empresário, acostumado a
ser o chefe, a cuidar do que é seu, foi atrás do amante. Pediu educadamente
para que ele se afastasse e deixasse que seu casamento, sua vida e esposa seguissem
em paz. 

Coisa do destino, coincidência ou não, o homem realmente os
deixou em paz. Não apenas terminou o relacionamento, mas sim, bateu as botas.
Foi para o além uma semana depois da conversa com o corno indignado. E não foi
caso de assassinato. O homem enfartou sabe-se lá porque, pode ter sido medo do
marido traído ou a infelicidade de ficar sem a amada. 

Sem saber de quem se tratava, o dono da funerária foi
chamado para transportar um cadáver ao IML, que ficava numa cidade distante 150
quilômetros de onde ele estava. Quando percebeu quem era, nem cogitou a
possibilidade de recusar o serviço. Cheio de raiva, com nenhum pesar e talvez
até contente, colocou o homem num daqueles caixões de lata. Não o prendeu
adequadamente. Exagerou nas curvas, sem pensar que poderia deixar a esposa
viúva duas vezes no mesmo dia, do marido – que ainda vivia, e do amante, cujo
corpo jazia na traseira do carro do marido traído. O cadáver ia de um lado a
outro, deslizava no caixão. Estava fazendo uma viagem que, se ainda estivesse
vivo, colocaria em risco sua vida. 

Autopsia feita, corpo liberado, seguiram marido e amante o
caminho de volta. Nos cento e cinquenta quilômetros, em cada curva o estrondo
do caixão na traseira fazia vibrar de júbilo o coração do homem traído. Ao
chegar, alguém imaginou que o dono da funerária estivesse cansado e quisesse
deixar a arrumação do corpo para o funcionário. Que nada! Ele dispôs-se a lavar
e arrumar sozinho o morto. O último banho do defunto foi inesquecível, se é que
ele pôde ter consciência disso. Sem nenhum profissionalismo, o corno esbofeteou
o cadáver. Disse-lhe poucas e boas. Contou o motivo de cada pancada. Lavou a
alma, a sua, não a do morto. Descontou toda a raiva. Depois o arrumou, colocou
flores no caixão e o entregou aos que choravam sua morte. Voltou para casa e
deve ter visto com alegria e alívio os olhos lacrimejados da mulher, que
voltava a ser só sua.

“Aqui se faz, aqui se paga”, finalizou a pessoa que me
contou a história. Ela estava certa de que o dito popular é verdade e, ainda
que sem conter o riso, jurou-me que a anedota é real.