Confissão.
Autor: Júlia Siqueira de Melo | Publicado: 2011-12-17T13:07:00-08:00

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Preciso fazer uma confissão. Já não posso mais escrever. Não sou mais capaz.Parece que meus pequenos contos já não me satisfazem. Me fazem mal. Larguei deles.Tentei escrever uma história maior, um romance. Pensei nisso por meses. Tornou-se uma obsessão. Fracassei. Não sou capaz de escrever um romance. Crio personagens, mas não sei o que fazer com eles. Não consigo pensar em um final para as minhas histórias. Acaba que tenho que matá-las todas, o que não me alegra. Crio vidas quando escrevo, mas são vidas que dependem de mim, do meu humor. São criações minhas, cujos destinos estão em função da minha vontade. De certa forma, sou o Deus das minhas personagens. Por que essa necessidade de tirar-lhes a vida, no fim das contas? Por que não consigo criar para elas um outro destino? Talvez porque o único destino certo para todos nós seja a morte. É impossível criar personagens eternos. Mesmo assim, não me faz bem terminar uma vida que eu mesma comecei.A única maneira de escrever um romance, para mim, seria deixá-lo incompleto. Uma história sem um final. Não sei fazer um final. E não posso me cobrar essa capacidade. Por que então continuar tentando? Cada vez mais, percebo que a solução é abandonar a escrita. Não tenho o dom. E ponto final.