Alice
Autor: Ivan Farah | Publicado: 2011-12-06T02:09:00-02:00


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Alice não dorme. Alice
acredita em futuros que não ve. Alice esquece do passado, mas o passado a
visita em sonhos. Alice passa creme. Alice não ve rugas no espelho, mas elas
aparecem nas fotos. Alice faz regime sempre e nunca, nunca emagrece. Alice
envelhece, chora sem lagrimas. Tenta desesperadamente amar e não ama, tenta não
desesperadamente amar e não ama; não tenta amar e ama.



Alice não consegue trabalhar
sem pensar, se divertir sem pensar, dormir sem pensar. Alice caminha em círculos
e esquece para que lado da encruzilhada deve mesmo virar. Alice toma remédio para
não sofrer, para não sentir, para não acreditar. A vida era uma experiência mística,
era uma aventura sexual, era uma crença infinita no ser humano. Agora a vida é
uma era.



Alice esquece o que fez, o que
fizeram com ela. Alice não se lembra, não registra, não grava e não dorme.
Somente para não sonhar. Como em filmes de terror as noites assombram mais que
o espelho, que medos reais, que as consequências de muitos pães. A vida deixou
de ser alegre, doce e muito pueril. Deixou de ser verdadeira e de ser falsa e
de ser fantasiosa e de ser vaga. A vida deixou de ser.



E a dor de Alice só para
quando ela se cansa. O problema é que Alice é obstinada, até na dor, pungente,
intensa, profunda e se revira na própria dor. Revira modos, maneiras, palavras
e formas. Revira as pessoas a sua volta, revira as coisas que acreditava e
revira a própria felicidade do avesso. Afinal, se tudo esta do avesso, vestir a
roupa da vida ao contrario deve fazer algum sentido.



Alice passa creme. Alice perde
cabelos. Alice se esquece de aniversários, de eventos, de roupas, empréstimos.
Alice não se cuida e se cuida. Alice cresce ou diminui, mas o mundo nunca é do
tamanho de Alice. Alice grita e ninguém ouve, chora e ninguém vê, se arruma e
ninguém vê. ALICE AMA e ninguém vê.



Alice segue modelos. Alice faz
suas trilhas. Alice cria, Alice inventa, Alice descobre, Alice faz acontecer o
que quer. Somente para depois descobrir que nada era do jeito que imaginava.
Alice tem muito trabalho. Alice gasta muito tempo e esforço. Alice esta
cansada. Alice decide virar a vida do avesso mais uma vez.



Alice quer uma noite bem
comum. Uma vida bem comum. Um sonho que seja comum com quem quer que seja, que
a veja, que a tenha, que a conquiste, que a integre, que a aceite, que a ame e
que nunca, nunca desista.