Lambuzar no peito. 
Autor: fatoSempalavras | Publicado: 2012-12-04T19:18:00-02:00

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Eram 18:59h, o relógio não mudou
a hora. Era escuro, dentro ou fora de mim, e havia muitos sonhos para pouco
sono pela frente. O Ney Matogrosso, de Oxóssi com Oyá, me suspirava ‘’Promessas
Demais’’ com aquele som inigualável, com amor e romance que nunca ninguém soube
remeter ao próximo. Amor próprio, acima de tudo. Amor próprio que o meu, seu,
deles, nunca soube como transbordar. Palavras agudas em um som doloroso e
poético. Palavras mornas dentro do suor acenado de tantos esforços em vão.&nbsp;



Eu me senti tão sozinho enquanto
vaguei por dentro de mim mesmo, cheguei ao ponto, em muitos dias, de me
comparar a um entregador de pizza. Já parou para pensar o quanto esse ser é
solitário? Ele vem, te entrega a pizza, te passa o refrigerante, te dá o teu
troco e enquanto você entra e apaga a sua luz da rua ele ainda está ali fora
contando o dinheiro, analisando o próximo endereço, com uma luz e ternura que a
gente passa anos tentando encontrar e já possuímos sem saber. Ai, minha mãe
Oxum, como eu pedi para que o mundo, pelo menos em meu mundo, fosse menos
medonho, com menos choros. Mas que nunca me falte o abrigo de um gélido
passado, um de um fodido futuro. De repente, vi que perdi tanta gente, mornas e
quentes, escuras e frias… Algumas perdas nos fazem bem, outras nos trazem a
lenidade já perdida por outras tentativas, meu bem.&nbsp;



O medo quase me afogou em minhas
próprias lágrimas, me inundei mas não fora de repente que senti a perda. Aliás,
querida, a perda é sempre programada de acordo com o início que nem sempre traz
uma beleza para algum segundo atrás. Seu coração dispara na tentativa de uma
cartada fatal, mas não é assim, perto do Natal, com o peru recheado ou com a
gaveta vazia, que vais encontrar o que buscas na estrada, na vida (alheia).
Poeiras passam por aqui e você me sorrir mentiras encantáveis. Incontável essa
maneira de me restar em um gemido torto, em um sangue desgarrado dessas veias
ferventes, mas em tratados com a vida se quebra tudo, menos aquele grito de
desabafo e vitória de não ter se entregado antes do vinho chegar, antes da
minha alma caminhar.&nbsp;



Carlo Lagos.