Esperando a resposta que chamo de amor
Autor: Lady Volúvel | Publicado: 2011-06-09T08:25:00-07:00

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Não morri. O que morreu foi aquela dor de não saber-se amada. Não saber-se amada, não. De duvidar que era amada. Porque quando a palavra não é dita, o meu coração se aflinge.  Mas, após 3 meses de angústia, o sofrimento passou. Uma lágrima desobediente parece ter provocado nele algum processo reflexivo incompreensível pra mim, mas suficientemente forte para a poesia da dor nos dar uma pausa.  O que levo dessa experiência é dar valor a cada declaração de amor como se ela fosse a última. No fundo, a gente nunca sabe quando isso de fato pode acontecer.  Esse vácuo inerte de declarações verbais me deixou uma marca que não se apagará, alguns quilos a mais, rugas novas e uma canção a mais para a trilha sonora da minha vida:


Altar Particular (Maria Gadú )Meu bem que hoje me pede pra apagar a luz
E pôs meu frágil coração na cruz
No teu penoso altar particularSei lá, a tua ausência me causou o caos
No breu de hoje eu sinto que
O tempo da cura tornou a tristeza normalE então, tu tome tento com meu coração
Não deixe ele vir na solidão
Encabulado por voltar a sósDepois, que o que é confuso te deixar sorrir
Tu me devolva o que tirou daqui
Que o meu peito se abre e desata os nósSe enfim, você um dia resolver mudar
Tirar meu pobre coração do altar
Me devolver, como se deve serOu então, dizer que dele resolveu cuidar
Tirar da cruz e o canonizar
Digo faço melhor do que lhe parecerTeu cais deve ficar em algum lugar assim
Tão longe quanto eu possa ver de mim
Onde ancoraste teu veleiro em florSem mais, a vida vai passando no vazio
Estou com tudo a flutuar no rio esperando a resposta ao que chamo de amor
***
E concluo o que todo mundo que sofre já concluiu: sem dores de amor não haveria poesia.