Longas cartas pra ninguém VIII
Autor: Gustave Caligari | Publicado: 2014-08-08T07:27:00-07:00

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A vida tem braços longos, espero que eles me segurem.







Era Janeiro de 1963, quando Johnny, apareceu e queixou de
tudo, de que eu nunca lhe respondia, de que entregava sua vida a mim, e eu nem
dizia palavra. E quando ele pensava ser a ele, eu dizia que nunca eram, tampouco
pra qualquer um. Seu último presente foi me apontar uma arma. &nbsp;“Johnny, não aponta essa coisa pra mim!”. Mas
ele engatilhou e atirou. E quando vi, estava morto bem ali no meu quarto. É que
não era eu. Era eu pra ele. Ele diz que ainda há pingos de sangue na arma e
sente o cheiro de chumbos nas mãos, mas está livre. É, é assim mesmo que
agimos.

Vejam, anos mais tarde, era Inverno e eu não tinha ninguém
para devolver as coisas que eu escrevia.&nbsp;
Eu permanecia a espreita no topo da torre de vigília, com ela, claro,
seu nome é Adriana; sem a simulação de afundar sono, nem dormir deveras, eu
espera as palavras aparecerem, caçando-as como borboletas. Essas cartas são
mosaicos de imagens mil, geralmente são músicas. Não é tão fácil quanto vocês
pensam. Eu uso a minha própria cola. Nem todas são boas, algumas só fazem as
frases grudar nos dedos e nunca ir pro papel. Outras fazem as coisas irem pro
papel da forma que você não quer, e ficam ali te olhando daquela forma
esdrúxula. É, tem gente que faz isso de qualquer forma, e colocam as coisas
esdrúxulas deles para olharem para as pessoas. Tem poesias e desenhos que eu
gostaria que tirassem os olhos de mim.

Tem vezes que eu gostaria que tirassem essa vida de mim.

E tem vezes que gostaria apenas de mudar minha vida a
qualquer preço, quantas pessoas ainda me apontarão armas na cara?

Será que Johnny sente saudades de mim? Um dia sentirei falta
dele.

E haverá tão somente a treva entre as estrelas.