.Escolhe também outro disco, que esse já era. 
Autor: Lg. | Publicado: 2016-05-13T18:40:00-03:00

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Gosta de dar aulas para
Maria Clara: elas são, hoje, fugas da rotina da universidade da qual começa a
sentir-se cansado, ensinando, pelo décimo ano consecutivo, as mesmas coisas a
pessoas invariavelmente desinteressadas e desinteressantes. Seu relacionamento
com os alunos é frio, quase impessoal: um pouco por timidez, um pouco por européias
noções de hierarquia que se recusa a abandonar. Isso nunca chegou a
incomodá-lo, especialmente há alguns anos atrás, quando a presença de Lillian
tornava outras presenças desnecessárias. Depois, as relações entre ambos
foram-se deteriorando e, quando mudou-se para o Brasil, ela recusou-se a
acompanhá-lo. Embora tivesse sentido algum prazer em mortificar-se com o
fracasso de seu casamento, anos depois Archibald se viu forçado a reconhecer
que, na época, o que sentira fora principalmente uma sensação de alívio e
liberdade. Não havia mais ninguém para controlar-lhe os movimentos ninguém para
reclamar dos cachimbos, impedi-lo de dedicar-se a seus poemas ou abaixar o
volume da vitrola. Não havia mais ninguém, igualmente, para afagar-lhe os
cabelos, nenhum corpo à noite. Esta ausência, entretanto, só veio a notar muito
tempo depois na verdade, quando começou a dar aulas para Maria Clara. Agora
gostaria de ter, eventualmente, alguém com quem conversar, algum amigo. Mas os
anos de solidão e uma timidez que, geralmente, não se encontra nos homens
atraentes, o desacostumaram de conversas íntimas, de confidências sussurradas a
meia luz por sobre os cinzeiros. Na universidade, não consegue trocar mais do
que polidos cumprimentos com os colegas; dos alunos, sente-se cada vez mais
distante com o passar dos anos. Aos 40 anos é um homem só — e, se por um lado,
a solidão ensinou-lhe muito a respeito de si mesmo, há sentimentos sobre os
quais não lhe disse nada, dos quais começa a ter medo porque os julgava
esquecidos para sempre.



Rónai