Meu Ex: Gael Garcia 
Autor: somalucamesmo | Publicado: 2015-05-24T06:32:00-07:00












Quando eu tinha uns 10 anos, espalhei na escola que namorava
com o filho do dono da padaria, eu achava ele lindo, ele tinha uns 15 anos e eu
era tão imperceptível a ele que um dia acertou uma bolada fuderosa na boca do
meu estômago porque não tinha me visto. Outro dia ele descobriu, ficou puto e
eu me fudi, voltei a ser solteira!



A primeira amiga que fiz no intercâmbio era mexicana. Depois
de um tempo notei que ela era chata, cheia de frescura, quadrada e não tinha
senso de humor a ponta de não entender ironia.



Em portunhol:



<!--[if !supportLists]-->-&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;<!--[endif]-->Oi, você é brasileira?

<!--[if !supportLists]-->-&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Simmmmm!!! E vc?

<!--[if !supportLists]-->-&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Sou do México!

<!--[if !supportLists]-->-&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;Sério??? Existem 2 coisas incríveis no México:
Roberto Bolaños e meu namorado.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->-&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Ah, seu namorado é mexicano?

<!--[if !supportLists]-->-&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Sim, não sei se você conhece, o nome dele é Gael
Garcia!

<!--[if !supportLists]-->-&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Meu Deus, Gael Garcia Bernal???

<!--[if !supportLists]-->-&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;<!--[endif]-->Ah, você conhece, RISOSSSSSSSSSS 



Que fique bem claro o uso de interjeições faciais,
gesticulação exagerada, sarcasmo no tom de voz... e risos aos finais de cada
frase!!! Achei que ela tinha entendido que era uma brincadeira!!!



Duas semanas depois, num pub cheio de ruivos, magros e
barbudos (Ai!), eu tentando treinar meu inglês capenga, a bicha me chama no
canto.



Em espanglês:



<!--[if !supportLists]-->-&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Eu não tenho nada haver com sua vida, mas você
namora com um cara conhecido. Que deve ser gente fina e ainda é um gato. Devia
se preservar mais.



Tentei organizar a resposta na minha cabeça, pra que não
ficasse nenhum mal entendido. Um dos ruivos passou e fez um cafuné no meu
cabelo. Esqueci o que tinha pensado em responder e disse:


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- Ah, eu sou assim mesmo!!!