O  tal cara
Autor: Edson Lupe | Publicado: 2017-05-15T12:40:00-07:00

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De certo existem inúmeros amores e paixões. De certo a vida
prega peças e confunde tudo. Chega a ser uma infeliz trapaceira que me nos
deixa cheia de dores e ardores. Andava em uma vida tipicamente normal, com
problemas cotidianos e aprendendo a levar tudo de forma mais branda. Aprendi a
adormecer aquele amor da vida, lá no fundo do peito e entendendo que deveria
permitir novos encontros e sabores.

Um dia qualquer lá vem à filha da puta da vida pregar uma
surpresa: Te trás para os dias atuais uma antiga paixão... Daquelas que lá no
passado revirou a vida e que volta mais forte, mais madura. Logo agora? Será?
Como deixar partir? Permiti-me, pois aquilo estava me trazendo uma excitação
tremenda... Uma excitação pela vida e pelos dias. Aquele cara chegara mais
lindo e homem do que nunca, me fazendo ver em coisas simples muita coisa boa. Inconscientemente,
em pouco tempo deixei de lado algumas atitudes do cara mimado que sou e me
permitindo viver. Puta sensação boa, sabe? Olhava-me no espelho e me via tão
mais interessante. Aquele toque, aquele cheiro me fazendo um homem que nunca fui.
Aquele cuidado ao acordar pela manhã e quando segurava minha mão fazia me
sentir um cara bem sortudo, mas no fundo aquele maldito medo tomava conta,
aquela voz de fundo me contava o que viria amanhã... Nessas horas detesto essa
sensibilidade e intuição idiota que a cada dia me parecem mais afinadas. É um
céu e um inferno constante que não me permite sair.

Os dias continuaram a passar e o que a intuição avisou
aconteceu. Tudo mudou tudo se distanciou e as perguntas sem respostas foram
aumentando. Aquela vontade de explodir e falar tudo que via na mente era gigantesco,
mas eu não podia porque parecendo ou não, já não sou o mesmo cara de anos atrás
e por mais que alguns erros sejam repetidos a reação nunca mais será a mesma. Não
posso implorar atenção e paixão de ninguém, não posso idealizar o cara dos meus
sonhos em ninguém. As palavras acabam sempre me faltando e não sei o que falar
e como agir e por não saber&nbsp; prefiro o silencio,
prefiro sumir e deixar que minhas ideais vão se acertando e pedindo para que
essa paixão se vá ou adormeça para que esse &nbsp;ardor passe e me deixe mais tranquilo.




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