Autor: Julio Cesar Tafforelli | Publicado: 2011-09-09T08:10:00-07:00

Schemas in the Larger World: Later Life

Exclusion&nbsp;– My life is a case study of exclusion. As in the example that Goleman gives, I grew up on a farm apart from friends and daily social events. As a Christian in a predominantly nonChristian environment my beliefs excluded me from activities with most of my peers. At Christian camps my rigid beliefs separated me from kids who were just there to have fun. I most often feel like I don’t belong and can remember vividly the few times that I have felt wholly part of a group event; a feeling like fresh water on parched land. Exclusion breeds feelings of anxiety and deep sadness about being alone.

The exclusion schema can be countered by challenging thoughts that lead to social anxiety. Alternative modes of being in group can also be practiced.

Vulnerability&nbsp;– a sense of being out of control and in danger may have been prompted by a circumstance of impending catastrophe such as an illness or loss. Anxiety prompts out-of-proportion fixations that in turn can spawn obsessive acts of safety or panic attacks. Alternatively some may take unnecessary risks to compensate for their fears.

The vulnerability schema can be confronted by challenging restricting fears through mindfulness, calming anxious thoughts and thus promoting freedom of thought and action.


Failure&nbsp;– a feeling of being deficient in the realm of career or achievement in spite of one’s successes can result from being overly criticized in childhood. The failure schema can prompt people to see themselves as frauds fearing that their apparent success will soon be revealed as simply luck. As a result some may avoid or put off challenges that they believe will only fail anyways and thus fulfill their fears of inadequacy. Seeing yourself as a failure prompts feelings of deep self-doubt and an anxious sadness.

The failure schema can be challenged through mindful attention of the internal criticism that colours self-perception. A more accurate self-assessment of talents and abilities can help to accept the truth of success and failure in one’s life.

Perfectionism&nbsp;– feeling like one can never meet the standards needed for acceptance and approval can result in the perfectionism schema. Although the resultant self-imposed pressure can lead to impatience and irritation with self and others, the underlying feeling is one of sadness and melancholy from not being able to enjoy life. Perfectionism drives the fun out of life insisting on better or more in whatever area is the focus: work, appearance, social status, material surroundings, or even, dare I say, spirituality. The perfectionist can never rest.

The perfectionist schema can be helped with mindful attention to the high expectations that drive the perfectionist’s mind. Lowering standards invites a greater acceptance of what is and a break from the constant scrutiny of the self-critical mind.

Entitlement&nbsp;– the feeling that rules don’t apply to you can result from growing up without limits or from trying to win approval through accomplishments. With the view that social conventions don’t apply to them, those with the entitlement schema can be unaware of the burden their expectations place on others. They may exaggerate their abilities, indulge their desires and feel resentment when others limit their plans. Under the selfish exterior, feelings of shame and inadequacy may flourish.

The entitlement schema can be confronted through mindful awareness of one’s impulses and the negative effect of one’s actions on others in addition to taking more responsibility for one’s obligations.