Brócolis
Autor: Carol Lomelino | Publicado: 2013-07-22T07:36:00-07:00








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Um, dois, três, quatro, cinco.
Asfalto. Cinza, cinza, listra branca, cinza, cinza. Cheguei ao meio da rua.
Instintivamente parei, ofegante. Era ensurdecedor, os carros passavam voando, o
barulho era tanto que fiquei surda. Seis, sete, oito, nove, dez. Atravessei.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Primeiro
piso em pedras portuguesas, irregulares, branco e preto, branco e preto. Terra
batida, pseudo-grama. Aqui deve ser um bom lugar pra correr, penso eu. Mas
estou ofegante ainda, e por isso corro mais. Atravesso todo aquele parque:
árvores, passaros, flores, bolas, crianças, gatos, mendigos, latas amassadas e
vento no rosto. Cheiro de mar. Areia! Meus pés sentem, não é mentira, areia.
Pequenos grãos, amarelos, pretos, cinzas, escorrem entre meus dedos. Corro
mais... e água. Me entrego a tudo que não consigo mensurar. Ali sou eu, o céu e
o mar. E o não saber. 



Sexta-feira



- Nunca pensei que fosse dizer isso, mas acho que nosso país
não tem mais jeito. To descrente, meio atordoada sabe?



Botafogo. Copos americanos, mesas
de plástico vermelhas, cadeiras amarelas e&nbsp;
latas azuis.&nbsp; Isso tudo no meio da
rua. E nós:



-Tá doida? onde já se viu isso gente. 23 anos, e pensando
assim. É melhor se matar logo.

- Vinte e dois. 

-Tá, tá, não me importa. Mas é sério meu amor, você precisa
entender que temos que acreditar no amanhã – por mais filosófico que isso possa
parecer – o pessimismo nunca levou ninguém a lugar nenhum. 

- Você sabe escrever Nietzsche?

- Eu acho que depois do z tem um s, e é por isso que todo
mundo confunde. Mas e o carnaval? 

- Ainda estamos em outubro, Luiza. Nem sei vou estar viva
para o Reveillon e você querendo saber de carnaval. 

- Taí, Reveillon eu nunca sei como escreve. 



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Acordei
tentando me lembrar de como tinha terminado a conversa, mas não consegui.
Levantei, catei dois remédios-confete dentro da carteira, um gole da água da pia do
banheiro e o espelho. Preciso parar de beber, disse, assim em voz alta,
esperando que alguém respondesse. Mas estava sozinha e voltei pra cama.



9:32



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Já estou há
três horas acordada, desde as cinco tentando entender porque eu perco o sono
quando posso dormir e durmo quando não devo. Paradoxos modernos, incertezas.
Fecho os olhos mais uma vez, nem três segundos se passam. Vou fazer café. 

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Hoje é
sábado, dia de nada. De fazer nada, de ser nada. O que fazer de almoço? Tenho
esse problema, já acordo pensando no almoço, almoço pensando no lanche e janto
pensando em dormir. Vou tentar dormir, mas desisto. 



“Take me take me take me. Take me out of myself. You and me
should go and get so high tonight. Take me out of myself...”



Jamie Cullum nas alturas, vou acordar. 



14:03



“Eu já matei você mil vezes e seu amor ainda me vem, então
me diga quantas vidas você tem”. 



À plenos pulmões. Praia do flamengo, retorno, aterro,
retorno, perimetral, ponte Rio-Niterói.



“E canto, porque sinto e canto. Eu ouço sobre o amor e me
calo...”



Pouse.



- Já tô chegando mãe. Brócolis? Mas porquê raios você
precisa, tão impreterivelmente de Brócolis? Hoje é sábado, vai ser impossível
achar Brócolis. Se fosse salmão eu entenderia, mas Brócolis? Tá bom mãe, eu
acho o Brócolis. 



Será que eu sobrevivo, se cair, nessa velocidade, do vão
central? E da praça do pedágio?



- Moça, tem Brócolis?










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