Ser ou não ser eu?
Autor: Elenna | Publicado: 2011-10-31T13:43:00-02:00

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&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Alguma coisa se perdeu. Entre os atropelos, as desilusões, a falta ou excesso de carinho, alguma coisa se foi. Algo se perdeu, acho até que morreu entre estes encontros e desencontros.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Não posso me chatear por ouvir pedidos para que eu volte a ser como era. Mas também não posso voltar. Foi-se aquele carinho, aquele sentimento bom, a vontade... é bem isso, foi-se a vontade de dar aquele carinho, aquele aconchego. Acho que li demais a frase: “não trate como prioridade quem te trata como opção”. Não sei quem é o autor, mas ele(a) conseguiu tocar bem no fundo, e de alguma forma, acordar algo que há muito gritava e eu não dava ouvidos. É a velha história do pingo que transborda o copo d’água.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Cansei de ser mãe, de ser filha, de ser profissional, a boa namorada, a mulher que todos esperam. Cansei. Quero ser eu. Somente eu.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Não é possível apagar toda a vida e a bagagem que trago. Mas, será possível recomeçar? &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Fugir... seria fuga? Seria este o nome certo? Fuga. Não consigo ver como um escape. Vejo a possibilidade de ir embora, de largar tudo, de recomeçar, como um marco, um ponto inicial.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Quero acordar pela manhã e sentir prazer em estar onde estou. Sentir que a vida se encaixou e eu estou onde deveria estar... Quero sentir prazer nas pequenas coisas, mas sentir prazer porque eu quero, não porque é preciso. Quero ser eu. Quero sentir eu. Chega de ser responsável pelos sentimentos, atos, problemas e desilusões de todos. Não consigo ser responsável pelos meus próprios. Não consigo ser eu assim. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Tenho vivido por todos e não por mim, e nos primeiros sinais que meu eu deu de reação, só ouvi críticas...&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Serei eu. De uma forma ou de outra, vou me reencontrar, ou me encontrar. Acho que é encontro a palavra certa. Ser aquela que até hoje não pude ser. Ser apenas eu.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; E venha o que vier. Hoje quero partir. Amanhã? Somente eu posso escolher. Só o amanhã vai dizer. Mas uma certeza eu tenho, ao menos um pouquinho, um mínimo, serei eu...