primeiro
Autor: Ana Janaina | Publicado: 2015-11-03T15:24:00-08:00

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seu hálito recende a maçã verde, um drinque translúcido que evapora
em suas mãos, a fala se arrastando rumo a uma resposta sem pergunta, os
olhos em fresta, verdes, também – “como é possível que você não lembre? eu lembro!” – nos encontramos no banheiro, a parede vermelha de um mundo organizado em
ladrilhos e caligrafias de mensagens a caneta – não me lembro de você porque me esqueci de mim, penso em dizer, muito sincera –
desisto, o pensamento também arrastado, lento na fumaça – uma
mulher pergunta a cor de meu batom – cobre, corde, o céu de brasilia ao
entardecer – saímos do banheiro, lado a lado, um passo uníssono que prefigura
acordo, que indica possibilidade – um grupo de drags a encontra na saída, entre poses e risos e leques, a reverenciam, tiram fotos, lhe adivinham as tatuagens, lhe estalam beijos nos lábios, a
chamam de rainha e ela se curva – o teto baixo da boate, me angustia a
decoração: manequins sem cabeça nos olham da vitrine – no subsolo de uma quadra
comercial, ponto geográfico que só reconhecem os nascidos dessa paisagem imóvel, o futuro congelado&nbsp;há décadas,&nbsp;quem sabe dizer onde ficam as putas durante a madrugada dos dias úteis, onde você pode comprar pó, como abrir a porta secreta que leva ao bar eterno, quem sabe dizer aonde você deve levar suas crianças, sua mãe, comer sua sobremesa, atender seu celular, onde você pode descansar os braços, tirar as mãos dos bolsos, quem atravessa o setor de diversões, no passo descalçado da noite e desce os prédios na iluminação amarelada da capital? – a cidade em que você foi criada guarda também as chaves de seu eterno deslocamento&nbsp;– buscamos mais um drinque,
atravessando o espaço sonolento, seguindo focinheiramente o rastro o faixo o
feixe o lance de luz – a musica acontece dentro da minha cabeça e, por acaso, alcança o
lado de fora dos meus ouvidos – encostamos no balcão de aura iluminada – dezessete minutos
negociando um novo&nbsp;álcool, mímicas para o barman, que tem uma
tatuagem no pescoço e não usa camisas – ela tem ciúmes, só saberei depois – me
engasgo, perdigotos verde-maçã num lenço – ela aninha a cabeça em meu ombro, o mesmo gesto desprotegido de sempre em&nbsp;diante&nbsp;– seus
dedos avançando sob minha calcinha - o drinque no chão