Back in Black
Autor: Romenia | Publicado: 2016-04-15T21:01:00-04:00

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Voltando a escrever, depois de alguns anos, na penumbra de não expressar
sentimentos.


Passei alguns anos, tentando encontrar em cada palavra e gesto, o Alxseth
foi embora, me deixou sem esperanças, sem vontade de viver...


Tenho trabalhado muito, muito mesmo, poucas horas para comer, ver amigos ou
me exercitar, dias atrás me perguntei:


- Porque estou fazendo isto?O Alx não vai voltar, não vai ver este dinheiro,
não vai morar em Londres para fazer mestrado em terror, nossas mãos não vão se
tocar, nunca mais posso ouvir sua gargalhada ou sentir seu cheiro de amaciante
em sua camiseta do The Cure, então, porque trabalho tanto assim?


O que vou ganhar com tudo isto?E quando for embora vou deixar tudo para
estas pessoas que me sugam vitalidade, não acreditam em meus sonhos e jogaram
fora minha caixa de lembranças?


A convivência em casa tem sido cada vez pior, ás vezes penso em recorrer ao
suicídio, minha família me adoeceu, não me protegeu quando deveria e muito
menos me auxiliou com as marcas e traumas do passado.


Ouvindo Joy Division, vejo que talvez o suicídio não seja tão ruim assim,
alguns anos no umbral seriam mais confortáveis que toda penumbra que passo no
momento?


Embora esteja tão perto minha independência financeira, perto demais, podem
ser influências externas esta coisa toda de suicídio, inclusive a interferência
de "amigos" e "familiares".


Família?


Sinceramente, minha família é a Brenda e era o Elvis, eles se importavam
muito comigo, choraram comigo, mas mãe?Irmã?Pai?Primo?


Tudo tão...


&nbsp;V A G O


Despeço-me aqui, talvez volte, talvez morra, talvez dê um tiro na cabeça.


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