Não é deixar pra trás, é viver!
Autor: kamila trindade | Publicado: 2012-06-04T10:34:00-07:00

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A gente tem mania de dividir tudo em passado, presente e futuro. Mas, e se
por algum motivo não fosse mais assim? Se a contagem de tempo simplesmente
parasse de acontecer. Se o que você lembra e o que você consegue imaginar não
estivessem mais tão longe.&nbsp;Parece loucura? Talvez até seja. Mas é pensando
assim que tenho levado os dias dos dois últimos meses na minha vida.


Comecei riscando a palavra perder do meu dicionário. Fica mais fácil fazer
quando finalmente entendemos o real motivo da nossa existência. Não estamos
aqui pela eternidade, e sim pela aventura de sentir coisas diferentes e
inexplicáveis todos os dias. Perder faz parte disso. Talvez seja até o momento
mais importante. Quando pra conseguir em frente, precisamos respirar e parar de
olhar pra trás e pra frente. Olhar pra dentro.


Comecei a agradecer todos os dias. Não sou religiosa, mas acredito que
existe alguma coisa maior do que o pouco que conseguimos entender. Então, seja
lá o que ou quem for, obrigada por cada lágrima, sorriso e decepção que me
trouxeram até aqui. Tenho certeza que sem aquelas noites sem dormir e textos
escritos em vão, eu não teria entendido isso tão cedo.


Dei um tempo de tudo aquilo que me fazia triste. Foram sei lá, duas semanas
de&nbsp;introspecção. Entendo como o meu corpo e alma reagiriam a tantas
mudanças. Disseram que eu já não era mais a mesma. E eu só conseguia pensar:
quanto tempo será que eu precisar pra entender e aceitar isso? Um mês.


Abri a porta do meu coração. Foda-se se isso algum tempo depois me faria
parecer (e fez) mais uma garota apaixonada dizendo coisas previsíveis pra
alguém.&nbsp;O amor era a chave.


E então, as coisas que &nbsp;vivi, os caras que beijei e as palavras que nem
cheguei a ouvir pararam de ficar para trás. Agora, as lembranças estão comigo
cada vez que abro os olhos de manhã. Quando não deixo pra depois e faço questão
de dizer ou ouvir. Quando uma boa notícia me faz querer gritar da janela.
&nbsp;Quando ligo a televisão pra ouvir a voz de alguém em casa. Quando acordo
no meio da tarde pensando que os últimos meses foram um sonho. Quando durmo
falando com alguém no telefone. Quando coloco fotos no mural. Quando beijo
alguém e sinto que meu peito vai explodir.&nbsp;Quando enfim, sou feliz.

Escrito por : Bruna&nbsp;