Alvuras
Autor: Ana Carolina | Publicado: 2013-05-01T23:12:00-03:00

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Nunca quis lhe privar dos seus
julgamentos sobre mim, mesmo que errôneos, deixei que se fartasse deles.
Aceitei de bom grado todas as acusações de superficialidades, elas realmente
existem e são o que me mantem sã. Mas lamentei por serem meus defeitos que lhe
saltam aos olhos e por sempre estar de prontidão para aponta-los e encará-los
como diversão. Relevo as suas definições, porque me calei diante de muitos
apontamentos. Não sou de intensidades e profundidades repentinas, por isso
sempre apreciei nossa morosidade. Tive todo o cuidado, um respeito quase devoto
pelos seus limites e achava bonito quando esbarrava em algum e você sorria como
se dissesse “bem vinda”.&nbsp;



Talvez, por te julgar tão
perspicaz, segui disfarçando as obviedades com sorrisos, com um bom humor que
lhe ofereço antes mesmo do café da manhã, com uma atenção dedicada ou com as
certezas de um olhar fixado. Usei de pequenezas para que meu carinho falasse
por mim. Acho que entendimentos encontrados no silêncio são lindos e marcantes
pela sua brevidade. Dispus-me a ser inteira e sorria a cada intromissão sua.
Cultivei-te em mim para ser bonito, florescer colorido e embelezar as
memorias.&nbsp;&nbsp;



Queria usar de claridades como
armas, mas me pareceu apelação, afobação juvenil ou inapropriado para o nosso
lance. Apesar de decretar o fim trezentas vezes no mês, permaneço a qualquer
sinal de carinho, atenção ou cuidado. Acho que ficou tudo tão perdido e sem
sentido, que permanecemos para ver se encontramos algum motivo para o que sentimos. Talvez insista por ver em ti um mar de coisas a desvendar. E talvez desista, porque
onde há mar, há tormenta.