Suspensão
Autor: Juliana Leal | Publicado: 2014-10-04T08:16:00-07:00




Kandinsky, artista russo



O som externo não poderia ser mais patético. Não combinava
com o concerto interno que levava dentro. Nem sequer um pedaço de pneu de
caminhão na estrada, arremessado abruptamente contra o parabrisas de seu carro,
a assustara.



Susto maior já havia sentido quando, lançando mão dos
dedos, fizera uma conta rápida para calcular o tempo que passara sendo tudo
menos ela mesmo.&nbsp;Menos por opção que por
condicionamento. Um tanto cuja dimensão decidira desinstalar pouco a pouco pela
prática determinada de um sem fim de subverzõeszinhas cotidianas. Ações
corriqueiras carregadas de um simbolismo que a faziam se reconhecer cada vez
menos como um hamster dentro de um par de tubos coloridos que imitavam pateticamente,
mas para a felicidade de muitos, um estúpido parque de diversões. 



Experimentava corajosa um afastamento paulatino daquilo que
em teoria mais deveria amar. E constatava, não menos horrorizada, que a
quietude impávida da cicatriz costumava ser, antes, latejante ferida. E sonhava
acordada em sentir seu corpo coberto delas para que pudesse escutar somente a
pulsação de seu desejo desesperado em ser tudo aquilo que poderia ser por opção
própria.



E suspensa numa névoa feita da mais profunda solidão
resolveu: sim, preferia flutuar no vazio. Ao menos esse o havia criado ela. Ele
e todo o inominável que viria depois.
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