Uma vida em pedaços
Autor: Jean Marcel | Publicado: 2015-10-01T00:29:00-03:00

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A primeira vez em
que minha esposa e eu fomos ao cinema depois do advento de um certo ruivo em
nossas vidas, impactou definitivamente meu comportamento como espectador.
Naquele dia, saímos faltando 50 minutos para acabar o filme. Fui terminar de
vê-lo mais de um mês depois. 



Nos dois
primeiros meses do bebê todo mundo já está meio que preparado para não ver, não
ler, não assistir coisa alguma, pois além de trabalhar, você precisa estar
presente com o filho e a esposa, trocando noites por dias, buscando comida,
limpando o que dá, fazendo o que dá. Disso quase todo mundo sabe e eu também
não imaginava algo diferente. Mas depois de uns 6 meses, você acha que separar
duas horas ininterruptas pra assistir a um filme em casa não será um problema.
&nbsp;Naquele momento no cinema, percebi que o tempo não ia aumentar tanto
assim. Hoje quase não vejo e não me exponho a um objeto de arte de maneira
inteira. Minha experiência é sempre fragmentada.

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<!--[if gte mso 9]>
 
  
 
<![endif]-->

Sou daqueles que
gostam de assistir um filme por completo e que ao sair da sessão, seja ela em
casa ou no cinema, gostam de saborear a produção por mais alguns minutos na
mente. Esse tempo, nada muito longo, é um momento de transição, como acontece
quando você acorda de um sonho. Por alguns segundos sua mente entende que está
no real e passa a querer analisar, por em ordem, as cenas, os personagens, as
histórias que seu inconsciente criou. Você não entende tudo de imediatamente,
mas um dia depois seu cérebro joga as cenas novamente na sua cara, algumas
conexões se restabelecem e você percebe as mensagens. Para mim cinema é a mesma
coisa, com a diferença que essa análise é feita a partir do (in) consciente de
outros, no caso, o diretor e o roteirista.



Essa completude
da experiência sempre foi essencial para mim. É o mesmo com um livro, que,
apesar de uma exposição mais fragmentada, é uma obra que demanda dedicação,
principalmente no início da leitura. É preciso um envolvimento com a linguagem,
com os personagens, com o ambiente. É necessário intimidade. Como fazer
amizade.
No
caso do cinema, o ritmo é pensado para aquele tempo. Cada anticlímax e clímax
foi idealizado e construído na cabeça e na montagem. A expectativa criada para
uma cena, a solução feita pra ela. Quando se quebra esse <!--[if gte mso 9]>
 
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Precisei aprender
a ser um &nbsp;um espectador de fragmentos. Alguém que começa o filme na TV vê
um pedaço no celular, depois termina no almoço, no computador da agência. Era
fazer isso ou não fazer, ou ainda, na melhor das hipóteses fazer raramente. Mas
raramente pra mim não existe. Foi então que para me obrigar a assistir mais
filmes, mesmo dessa forma incompleta, criei um projeto de ilustração, cinema e
fotografia. Um projeto que me faria ver mais filmes e desenhar mais. Um projeto
que forçasse a minha adaptação ao tempo em que vivo e ao tempo que tenho, sejam
eles 15, 30, 40 minutos. Um projeto que fosse expressão da experiência quebrada
que eu tinha. Um projeto de necessidade de arte por causa das pessoas a quem eu
amo. &nbsp;Recortes que o novo jeito do espectador tem da mente do outro. Daí
saiu o moviesketches. Expressões em
desenhos rápidos feitas naquela transição do sonho para a mente desperta. A
mistura entre o real e o artístico. Ilustração e matéria. Cinema, desenho e
foto.

Creio que nunca
aproveitei tanto o tempo. Nunca imaginei que passar tantas horas com uma
criança seria tão bom. Nunca pensei que meu pouquíssimo tempo para todas as
outras coisas seria tão grande. Nunca pude imaginar que meus minutos me eram
tão caros. Amo minha família, amo esse ruivo. Não amo meu tempo mas posso dizer
que começo a perceber que pedaços dele podem ser mais completos que dias
inteiros. Ah, antes que eu me esqueça: obrigado por dar um pedaço do seu tempo
por aqui. 
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