Bens
Autor: Necka Ayala = NA | Publicado: 2013-09-25T13:26:00-03:00


Deixa-me
as borboletas – não as queres de todo coração. Ao fim de tudo entendo que a
nada queres de todo coração. Deixa-me, sobretudo, as cor de laranja que pairam
às vezes sobre a varanda. Deixa-me os dias 29 em todos os calendários,
marcados. E o caderno negro onde deixavas escritos teus quereres diários. Não
os tens mais de todo coração. Deixa-me a alegria dele, do pequeno infante
esverdeado que me chama, me quer perto, brinca e se contenta e se aquieta
quando pousa leve sobre meu ombro esquerdo. Ele aprecia ao som ritmado do meu
peito sempre incompleto. Não o amas de todo coração como eu. Ao fim de tudo
percebo que a nada amas de todo. Deixa-me as plantas da casa, as flores que
virão um dia, as velas e as fotografias – nem as verás na rotina ausente que impuseste
a ti. Já não as vês há muito tempo. Entras, trocas as coisas que já foram pelas
que irão contigo na próxima aventura rumo ao desconhecido. Então deixa-me
também, se não te fizer falta, as preces que eu escondia em meio às tuas
roupas, para achares depois – quando estivesses diante do desconhecido. Elas me
são caras e preciso delas de todo coração. As creio, por isso velo por mim
agora. Restou-me velar por mim em reverência. Prantear ao que findou,
antecipando a partida cedo demais, demais... É preciso imolar a esse cordeiro
que sacrificaste. Pedir que volte à natureza de onde veio em paz e implorar
perdão ao Criador por tamanha judiaria. Deixa-me a sós com minhas recordações
que me são raras. Não as aprecias de todo coração. Tens olhos passageiros. E te
desfazes de tudo que já te fez feliz. Entendo. Como te entendo! Apenas preciso
continuar leal ao que me encanta mais que os olhos. Preciso sentir porque
sentir justifica estar viva ainda, há tanto tempo! Não quero ser passageira de
mim mesma – deixa-me sentir até o insuportável momento em que a porta se abrir
de novo e tudo passar....



Necka
Ayala
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25/09/2013