Como paquerar na Inglaterra!
Autor: somalucamesmo | Publicado: 2015-04-16T19:18:00-07:00






Estou voltando a escrever porque dia desses encontrei uma
menina que disse que não me conhecia mas adorava minhas estórias e
histórias...E relendo vi que um monte de gente também gostava...E pra fuder com
tudo, hoje&nbsp; me aconteceu algo que me deu
ainda mais vontade de meter riso na cara do mundo!!!



Então, como diria a bruxa do pica-pau: 

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<!--[endif]-->“E lá vamos nós...”



Como muitos aqui já sabem, minha maior paixão logo depois de
amigos e cerveja, é homem bonito...E essa beleza não é nem um pouco óbvia ou
convencional...Acho bonito maloqueiro magricelo guenzo, bucho de cerveja,
cabelo assanhado...mas o que eu acho belo mesmo é gesto besta, como o modo que
ele franze a testa, ou o cutucar da barba, a forma sedutora com que ele move a
mão direita e coça o antebraço esquerdo enquanto fala...Foda então é a atitude,
abrir a cerveja no dente, saber as falas de chaves e elogiar minha bota!!!



E lá estava eu atacando os boys londrinos...Sou tão tabacuda
que paquerei holandês, escocês, italiano, turco e até brasileiro, nenhum inglês.
Grande merda tá na Inglaterra!!!



Juan era o menino mais bonito que eu já vi pessoalmente
(Beleza convencional), mas me apaixonei por ele porque ele era tabacudo e
porque ele me achou divertida, minhas amigas disseram que ele era gay SÓ porque ele
usava roupa tipo restart, gel no cabelo e calça muito apertada...Isso porque eu
nunca disse a elas que uma vez na hora do rala e rola ele me veio com mais ou
menos: “ Que color de tintura tu utiliza en cabelo???”



Enfim, como alguns também sabem, tenho métodos peculiares de
paquera...E o que uma garota faz pra impressionar um espanhol na Inglaterra???
Óbvio, pula um hidrante!!!



Aproveitei que ele tava rindo de minha piadas, mirei o
hidrante, pulei carniça, a alça da minha bolsa ficou presa, me trouxe de volta,
caí de quatro, perfurou as duas meias-calças (esse plural é assim mesmo!) e 3
camadas de pele do meu joelho!!!



A street parou! A risadagem silenciou e eu finji que não
machucou!!!



Falei que tava tarde pra saideira, entrei no ônibus mancando
e parece que ninguém nunca caiu em Brighton... Deve ter caído, mas só eu deixei
rastro de sangue em todo corredor do busão!



A casquinha tava quase seca, quando caí de bike em Amsterdã
e sambocou o que sobrou do joelho!!! O mesmo joelho!


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Ah, peguei o boy! Algumas vezes! Ele chegou a fazer 2
curativos!