Autor: O.J | Publicado: 2014-05-15T14:07:00-07:00

I know she's watching me

It's clear as water that the only reason that keeps her tied up to me is that she is too weak to be alone, she needs my help - Not only my help - She has proven that there's also the need of my affection, my love, my admiration; so she can move on through her battles.

Isn't this love? The need of someone else creating roots in your soul?

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; ---------------However, that's not how she sees it

She doesn't want to love me back, she does just enough to keep me interested

Because she needs my attention,
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; But doesn't want to pledge her love for me

Why, you ask?

Because too much people have told her that she deserves more and, even if&nbsp; I was perfect, even if I am hard worker, passionate - She doesn't wants to lose
So she doesn't bets

Me?

I am betting high here... Tomorrow she can just call me and say that it's over for any stupid reason she found to justify her search for someone better
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; ---------------Is there anyone better?
No, there isn't.

i'm not being arrogant, i'm being realistic

The ammount of work I put on bending my will, my tasks and my life as a whole just to be beside her is immensurable, gigantic challenge
I've been hungry, sleepy, hurt, confused......

All of this to ensure that she gets all the love I want her to get from me...
I've traveled for her, cried, shattered my own self when she wanted to walk away so I wouldn't go after her afterwards, So I would give her freedom
But she fell on her senses and realized I was what she needed
Even though I wasn't what she wanted
I live in constant fear, holding my heart in my hands because I know, as sure as the sun rises, that she will call me out and, with tears of self-pity, cast me out of her life so she can seek out something that does not exists, a magic prince that can do all I did for her and is prettier
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; -----------------pffffffffffffff and single
I mean, my pride is fine. I am the best I can be, better than my brothers, stronger, smarter, I've been surviving alone for so long that nothing can break me permanently anymore...
But I want so hard to believe that she loves me
I want so hard that I ignore how much hurt she caused me, how she easily forgets my sacrifices when anyone question her about me
I want so hard to be loved


♦To be... human♦

God, I don't want to be alone
I'm tired of being strong, why can't I be weak with her? Why can't she accept my weakness and give me strenght like I do for her every time?



When it's all said and done, I'll be left alone, I know, life is cold, I know, I was not made to be loved, I'm aware...

But I want so hard to believe