Vagas para professores I
Autor: Jorge Acunha | Publicado: 2011-06-09T06:41:00-03:00

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Vagas para professores:
A rede pública de ensino de fiofó seco de são Hideraldo da Anunciação rejeitada, anuncia que precisa de professores de todos os níveis.Exigências:Nenhuma experiência comprovada desde que tenha algum diploma ou em andamentoComa pouco e sem frescurinha, já que a merenda não é grande coisaEsteja em dia com obrigações eleitorais e transfira o título imediatamente, além de se cadastrar no partido pddocdoeEsteja disposto a receber ordens de qualquer funcionário público descornado que lhe derFique quieto sob qualquer hipótese quando ser ofendido ou cuspido por algum aluno revoltado Não seja fumante passivo ou ativo(no caso de ser, que fume longe dos alunos, mesmo que eles estejam fumando)Trabalhe em mais de uma escola e jamais discuta sobre a obrigatoriedade de estar em ambas no mesmo horárioEsteja sempre disposto e solícito em intermináveis reuniões pedagógicas, mesmo que seja discutido a cor da tinta que foi escrito o rascunho da bíblia, as quais poderão ser alteradas conforme o humor do chefeNão saiba dizer palavrões, mas que ouça todos e com respeito, principalmente dos alunosQue saiba orientar adolescentes revoltados que não conseguem ficar com o rabo na cadeira a manhã inteira com o bucho vazioSe, do sexo masculino, que não coma as alunas, do sexo feminino e gostosa, não vá com roupas apertadas (se for, no caso de estupro, ficar bem quietinha)Não precise de material pedagógico (caso precisar será disponibilizado internet)Que saiba muito bem que aos chefes só se dirige com as palavras: “sim senhor(a), não senhor(a) e obrigado senhor(a)”.

Vantagens:Auxílio médico 24 horas pelo SUS, desde que marque consulta com 48 dias de antecedênciaSalário de 922,37 ou quase, se trabalhar 25 horas por diaAuxílio dentário de 22,50 caso algum aluno distraído quebre mais de quatro dentes do professorÓtimas favelas para alugar moradias, muitas até de um quartoChoródromo grátis para os que o banco tomar todo o salário e para os que levarem mais de duas surras diáriasIntegração entre os professores no final do ano no cemitério local com queima de fogosAuxílio funeral de dois reais(somente para o usuário)

Os interessados deverão se dirigir ao hospício mais próximo e se cadastrar em alguma vaga. (se tiver)