Shit happens.
Autor: Andrea | Publicado: 2011-01-30T08:44:00-08:00

“...She was carrying yellow flowers! Not a nice colour. She turned down a lane from Tverskaya and then looked back. Well, you know Tverskaya! Thousands of people were walking along Tverskaya, but I can assure you that she saw me alone, and looked not really alarmed, but even as in pain. And I was struck not so much by her beauty as by an extraordinary loneliness in her eyes, such as no one had ever seen before! Obeying this yellow sign, I also turned down the lane and followed her. We walked along the crooked, boring lane silently, I on one side, she on the other. And, imagine, there was a soul in the lane. I was suffering, because it seemed to me that it was necessary to speak to her, and I worried that I wouldn’t utter a single word, and she would leave, and I’d never see her again. And, imagine, suddenly she began to speak:‘Do you like my flowers?’I remember clearly the sound of her voice, rather low, slightly husky, and, stupid as it is, it seemed that the echo resounded in the lane and bounced off the dirty yellow wall. I quickly crossed to her side and, coming up to her, answered:‘No!’She looked at me in surprise, and I suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, understood that all my life I had loved precisely this woman! Quite a thing, eh? Of course, you’ll say I’m mad?‘I won’t say anything,’ Ivan exclaimed, and added: ‘I beg you, go on!’And the guest continued.Yes, she looked at me in surprise, and then, having looked, asked thus:‘You generally don’t like flowers?’It seemed to me there was hostility in her voice. I was walking beside her, trying to keep in step, and, to my surprise, did not feel the least constraint.‘No, I like flowers, but not this kind,’ I said.‘Which then?’‘I like roses.’Then I regretted having said it, because she smiled guiltily and threw the flowers into the gutter. Slightly at a loss, I nevertheless picked them up and gave them to her, but she, with a smile, pushed the flowers away, and I carried them in my hand. So we walked silently for some time, until she took the flowers from my hand and threw them to the pavement, then put her own hand in a black glove with a bell-shaped cuff under my arm, and we walked on side by side.‘Go on,’ said Ivan, ‘and please don’t leave anything out!’‘Go on?’ repeated the visitor. ‘Why, you can guess for yourself how it went on.”
I chose this part of the book “The Master and Margarita”, by Mikhail Bulgakov in order to start this post. The theme?! I guess u have already guessed: it’s love. The book presents it as some pure and magical feeling…something it’s not meant to b felt by everyone. It happens people r always seeking for the answer of what love means, considering all kinds of it. That’s bullshit. U’ll only know what it is if u r stupid enough (me included)to give urself in and let it surround u, b part of u anywhere u go, it doesn’t matter what the hell happens. It ain’t necessary to try to describe it…no one can, simply cos each of us feel it in a different manner. Some of us learn to feel it as time passes by, or it happens the opposite: u learn how to throw this feeling into the first trash u can find on ur way to some piece of hell, and that’s the beginning of some psychopath which starts a relationship with u n then hurts u without thinking twice…which leads u to begin the exactly same thing (I know, it’s even worse than some vampires saga). Take it easy, though body! U’ve gotta a third option here: U have already felt it…maybe more than once, and then u have been screwed (more than once), but there is definitely sth wrong with u, cos u can’t help it: u keep feeling it over n over, even though u don’t want it anymore. Could u guess what is worse? Do u believe there is a fourth option? Do u believe in true n pure love, without cheating or getting sick of the other? I’ll tell u what is going on around me. Lots of people r starting the year by breaking up their relationships, n they don’t seem pretty worried to me. So…what’s the meaning here of getting screwed? Cos sb does, believe me. What’s the importance of a relationship in which u put all your effort n support? Which is the point of falling in love with sb that won’t like u the same way u like him/her?