Borderline.
Autor: Eduardo Alves | Publicado: 2015-09-21T10:43:00-07:00

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Ao acordar, penduro os lençóis ao sol, para que sequem.
Todas as manhãs os lençóis estão encharcados. O sangue que verto ao sonhar
ensopa e suja o chão do quarto. Não há água e sabão que dê jeito, todos os dias
são os mesmos. Visto-me da cabeça aos pés e ando em posição artificialmente
ereta – todos andam assim. Meus traços levam uma serenidade de quem se
equilibra numa faca, mas ninguém percebe – o mais importante é o silêncio, caso
não seja dito, ninguém verá. As sobrancelhas, por exemplo, guardam a forma
exata de se tensionarem para que não transpareçam mais do que devem. As mãos,
sempre atadas à cintura, para que se alinhem com o tronco arduamente colocado
de pé. O instinto do abraço eu deixo que escorra chão abaixo – ninguém o tem. E
o dia, então, começa. O cuidado é dobrado: não encostar-se a nada, não
transparecer, morrer ao colocar o pé após a linha da porta. O sangue escorre a
cada passo, ensopa as roupas, se espalha pelo chão. Eu sinto mais frio que os
outros, a carne crua está camuflada pelos quilos de roupas que carrego comigo,
numa tentativa suplicante de não ser notado – porém, o mais importante é o
silêncio. 

Meus lábios, sempre serrados à serenidade, mentem sobre o
que me cobre os olhos. Não há choro. Porém, há o risco de avalanche sempre
eminente. Sirenes de terremotos. Sentinelas que vigiam um mar predador que
espreita minha vontade. E anjos que guardam meu segredo: eu sou uma maldição. Um
cio descontrolado e castrado mascarado pelo sol que se estende acima. Um canal
que se obstrui e o sangue que flui pelos pés. Os dias se tornam mais exaustos
quando não existe opção de caminho e o músculo rasga, descarrega minha força.
Gladio impetuosamente contra a manada que conflita para entrar em controle. Há
várias cabeças de leões no quarto quando fecho a porta, uma a mais no dia
seguinte. Há várias marcas que trago no corpo; e a súplica por uma queloide que
seja, contudo, o líquido vermelho ascende à luz e jorra – nem rápido, nem
devagar, apenas continuadamente. Sou feito de carne e sangue. Eu sinto muito – não
falo de lamentação, mas literalmente. Uma infeliz literalidade. 

&nbsp;Hoje estou cego,
também. As luzes, sempre tão fortes, encandeavam tudo ao redor. Só existia a
luz azul, ou a vermelha, uma preta ou uma branca. Nunca pude enxergar além do
brilho. Nunca pude compor uma paisagem inteira. Contudo, veja a minha beleza. O
sangue que verte da minha carne é vermelho vivo, meu espírito aflora. O sangue
escorre pelo braço e eu escrevo em letras garrafais:

“Todo e qualquer ser humano é perdoável, pois a dor – qualquer
que seja – é o câmbio da vida.”

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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
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<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>

 /* Style Definitions */
 table.MsoNormalTable
 {mso-style-name:"Tabela normal";
 mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
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<![endif]-->