Autor: Bruna Arthuso | Publicado: 2014-02-11T21:42:00-02:00

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&nbsp; O futuro não me
deixa escrever, não me traz bons sentimentos ou qualquer inspiração. O presente
é indiferente, porém toda vez que entro em contato com o passado ou com pessoas
de hoje que fizeram parte dele, um mundo de sentimentos volta a reinar em mim.
Só de pensar na mera existência das tantas memórias e conversas que um dia me
fizeram acordar melhor ou dormir pior, faz com que uma avalanche de palavras
que eu nem sabia que possuía quisessem saltar para fora. Desesperadamente inícios
de conversas querem por muito chamar, mas ao lembrar que já não estou mais no
passado e sim no agora, toda a minha vontade se cala. Olho pro agora e é como
se visse somente a mim nele. Nem os meus “contra-eu” que tanto costumavam aparecer
e falar parecem mais aqui estar. Perdi muita parte da minha vontade e, com ela,
se foram muitas das minhas ações. É como se eu uma parte tivesse morrido mas ao
perceber isso, tudo o que eu faço é não tentar. Acabaram-se as ilusões de
esperar por fontes de inspirações ou da necessidade desenfreada de ter um papel
perto por qualquer que fosse os pensamentos. Acho que sem querer, acabei
sufocando. Mas quando me lembro de tudo que costumava ser e acontecer, oh não.
Ai então é como se diferentes e tímidas janelas com rápidos momentos de vida me
lembrassem de como tudo deveria ser, doendo um pouco por saber que nunca mais irão
ser. Olho esses rostos e é como se fossem noutra vida. O tempo tem de fato
passado muito rápido, e acho que finalmente eu esteja começando a crescer e
aprendendo a respeita-lo, e não exigindo o contrário. Me decepciono quando vejo
que essa mínima parte que tanto me fazia eu mesma, cansou-se. Talvez eu esteja
cansada. E cansada o suficiente pra deixar todo e qualquer motivo me levar pra
tudo, menos pra mim. E agora eu sinto o perigo disto. Acho que se fosse para
viver a vida o tempo todo como ela é, na sua real e dura crueldade, o sorriso
nunca teria sido inventado. Não o meu, pelo menos. 
&nbsp; Meus argumentos
andam fracos, minha palavras muito soltas e eu não gosto de nada agora.
&nbsp; Não há mais o que
dizer.