Treinando
Autor: Jardelstar | Publicado: 2012-01-22T13:37:00-08:00

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Para voltar a escrever é preciso
treinar. Fazer os calos voltarem a doer e despertar novamente aquela chama que
tanto ardia durante tanto tempo. Lembro bem que antes era fácil escrever por
estar constantemente apaixonado, mas descobri que na verdade estava encantado
com aquelas garotas. 

Gostei verdadeiramente de poucas
entre elas. Mas mesmo assim aquelas relações serviam de 

combustível para que a chama da
criatividade se mantivesse ardendo e muitas vezes queimando dentro de mim.
Lembro bem que escrever era a forma de cansar a mente, condensar toda aquela
confusão no papel e tantas vezes só consegui dormir após realizar este ritual.
Não sei dizer bem o que aconteceu neste processo. Acho que crescendo e
amadurecendo, fui ficando mais descrente com as ilusões que me mantinham
naquele estado suspenso. 

Somente hoje posso perceber
porque as relações não avançavam, pois apesar de estar envolvido, as ilusões
iam desvanecendo. Estou em um bom momento em que estou trabalhando bastante,
buscando meus caminhos ainda e sem desespero de estar com alguém. 

Isso me deixa feliz. Aos meus
olhos é um sinal de maturidade, apesar de acreditar durante muito tempo que
isso era um sinal de endurecimento e isso me deixava com muito medo. Não estou
naquela correria doida, naquele desespero de estar com alguém. sei lá não há no
momento guerra nenhuma em meu coração. Não perdi o interesse nas pessoas. Ainda
observo, desejo, busco prazer, destas coisas pretendo nunca me livrar! Na
melhor das hipóteses focar isso tudo em uma pessoa só. Mas enfim, com estas
palavras vou tentando novamente adquirir meus calos, revivendo minha
criatividade e colocando ordem neste meu jeito meio louco de escrever. Andei
escrevendo muita coisa, é fato. Alguns projetos de livros, contos esparsos e
algumas provocações, mas nada foi publicado. Logo espero estar novamente
inundando estes espaços com minhas palavras. 

Sinto-me muito bem escrevendo e
publicando, mas o prazer se multiplica ao saber que há pessoas do outro lado
lendo e me incentivando.