Sem título 1
Autor: Jack.com | Publicado: 2012-02-19T17:29:00-03:00

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Quando a ira ou a tristeza me consome, é hora de vir aqui e tentar depositar em palavras, um tanto vãs, toda minha incapacidade de compartilhamento. Pior é que acho que ainda não estou sofrida o bastante... Sei disto porque ainda não consigo fazer fluir parágrafos sem limites, por esta folha.Incomoda-me esta presença incessante de ninguém. Por vezes desespero-me em pensamentos. Parece que tudo corre para o dito: Não se preocupe, nada vai dar certo!Estou começando a crer que minha vida tem tudo para isto, mesmo. E hoje alguém me disse “Mas nem tudo, afinal, você é formada e trabalha na sua área.” E daí?! Creio que nós, humanos, sentimos a monstruosa obsessão pelo sofrimento e a martirização. Eu por exemplo, raríssimas vezes escrevo por felicidade. Antes, almejo para que escrevendo, saia de mim tanta dor reprimida, e assim, meu sorriso venha naturalmente. &nbsp;&nbsp;Eu deveria tentar a carreira artística, tenho talento, pode crer. Ninguém melhor que eu sabe assumir posições verbais, atitudes racionais, tão bem a ponto de fingir um desapego que não existe. Eu sempre fico a remoer assuntos velhos, pessoas velhas... Lembranças que não param de ir e voltar em minha mente. Tão doloroso isto. Gostaria de expulsá-los, mas parecem tão fortes quanto eu. Ontem parecia tão perfeito. Tanto que eu nunca acredito. Então...“Olhei pro amanhã e não gostei do que vi. Sonhos são como deuses, quando não se acredita neles, deixam de existir.”Não gosto de sonhar. Nunca vi um dos meus virarem realidade. Eu nunca sonhei nada do que tenho. Assim como nunca sonhei não ter nada do que não tenho. Sempre que sonho acordada, não fantasio coisas que desejo que aconteçam. Frequentemente tento usar a psicologia reversa, mas nunca funciona, sabia?! Ainda sinto-me tensa, isso porque ainda não disse tudo que desejaria dizer. Mas as palavras não querem sair. Não gosto de expulsá-las, preciso delas, sejam como sejam. Então... É isso, mas nada!