Learning day by day, again and again.
Autor: Évelin | Publicado: 2016-04-18T12:17:00-03:00


I am in a really bad week. Above all things I am extremely confused. Not because I don't know what I want for my life, for my country or&nbsp;my next semester. For the first time in 23 years I am exactly in the place that I choose to be. And things doesn't feel quite well. Now&nbsp;it's the perfect time to hear "Just hanging on sister". But this is not helpful. The circunstances seems so unfair.&nbsp;



We fight day after&nbsp;day for what we believe, for justice or for our convictions. We fight back our doubts, fears and descouragement. But sometimes it seems meaningless, empty, confusing. So we get desmotivated.&nbsp;That's nothing worse and nothing you can do to avoid desmotivation. But how to fight it back? How to climb out of our limb-melancholic&nbsp;existence. Does it need a sign? Do we get a sign? Is it fair to ask for a sign after all the things that we already have seen?&nbsp;



But if we stop now?&nbsp;Would it change anything? If we stop know it's just a matter of time to all the same beginning-middle-desmotivated thing come over another time. So should&nbsp;I keep quiting over and over? How about breaking the cicle? How about self motivating? How about be strong and corageous (Js 1:5-6)? Leaving&nbsp;requires strength but staying also does. Pioneering requires courage but maintaining also does.&nbsp;

Consistence and iniciative are not between&nbsp;my best qualities, and always excuse my self-sabotage in the name of the lack of those qualities. But if we could break the cicle. What if&nbsp;someone just had taken responsability over us and winning everything ahead? What if we were wandered off, done our own thing, gone our own way&nbsp;and them someone just took our lacks and piled it on him? (Is 53: 2-6) What if our motivation were not in where we are at or where we're &nbsp;heading for but in the One who makes everything worth it.&nbsp;



I am gonna tell you something. My life suck sometimes. I am a mountain of mess,&nbsp;indecision, inconsistence, faithless, fearfull, worries, no money, no time,no positions, no relationships, no better view in any time soon.&nbsp;My country is in a crise, my brazilian &amp; my australian account is in a crise, I am tired of not being enough to get things right,&nbsp;to not working right, not serving right, not being a good sister, not being a good friend, not being a good student, not being a good&nbsp;daughter, not being able to help my country, not being able to give some light to some of my friends who are drawining in senseless&nbsp;political statements. And there is no perspective of things getting better anytime soon.&nbsp;



But I decided to live day by day. Not trowing&nbsp;the tower as I did before. You only live once or carpe diem is really temptive but it also gets in the giving up category. Don't get me wrong, I could trow it, there's nothing wrong with it, there's nothing wrong with struggling. But I decide to break&nbsp;the cicle day by day. And for today this is enough. I will do my best today, with all the things that has been entrusted me even my&nbsp;broken and insuficient self. "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." II Co 4:16