Blues
Autor: Adriele | Publicado: 2015-07-15T22:18:00-03:00

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Hoje eu sou um blues! Azul, da cor do céu ... mas sem a
beleza de um dia lindo, aqui dentro é só tristeza. Isso me lembra uma música da
cantada pela Marisa Monte “tristeza não tem fim, felicidade sim”. É! Estou melancólica,
bem no estilo do filme Melancolia. O pior é que não sei explicar de onde sai
tanta tristeza. Antes pensava que era do período menstrual, mas agora essa
teoria já não faz mais sentido porque já passei do ciclo “TPM”. Acho que estou
doente, retificando, acho que vou morrer. Estou nas ultimas, o gato morreu. Vou
escrever um testamento heheheh. Voltando a teoria do doente, tenho sentido
fisicamente umas dores estranhas, uma tremedeira por dentro... parece que tudo
vai desabar por dentro. Seria essa dor física um sintoma produzido pela
tristeza, ou a tristeza é uma reação, melhor dizendo, uma ação da falência do
meu corpo? Vou morrer? Aff .. não aguento mais escrever MORRER! Acho que a
solução que vejo é esse.. desencarnar (gostou da palavra usada para morte?). Mas
morte não é solução e sim prorrogação. Digo isso porque é um adiamento da
solução dos problemas. Ai tem que esperar mais uma vida, uma encarnação para acertas
os pontos.. haja paciência. Então é assim, não tô legal. O fato da casa ta
parada por conta das chuvas; da falta de dinheiro; do descontentamento com o
salário; por não ter um lugar para estudar, para ler.. ficar sozinha e chorar
agrava a situação ... ou gera a situação, não sei. Nesse momento todo mundo
dorme aqui em casa, meu pai já já vem para sala assistir TV e eu ficarei sem um
lugar para estudar meu inglês e terminar esse textinho melancólico regado da
palavra morrer (e seus derivados). Quero sumi, desaparecer. Não deixar rastros,
pegadas ou telefonemas. Na verdade não quero sentir isso que me aflige. Se alguém perguntar por mim, diz que fui por ali.