“Isso não é nada”
Autor: Marcela | Publicado: 2011-12-29T12:16:00-08:00

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Após todas as tentativas frustradas para me livrar do queloide, eu resolvi tentar conviver pacificamente com ele (aquele lance de “se não pode vencê-lo, junte-se a ele”). Não foi fácil. Eu sei quantas pessoas sofrem por não terem uma perna, um braço, por terem nascido com algum tipo de síndrome, ou cegas, surdas, mudas... ok! Eu sei que essas pessoas sofrem mais do que eu, que tenho “apenas uma cicatriz” no peito. Mas se já não é fácil para uma adolescente passar ilesa por essa fase, imagine uma adolescente que tem uma “salsicha no peito”. Uma adolescente que ouviu certa vez de um garoto: “que nojo! Por que você não trata dessa coisa?”. Ou então que era obrigada a conviver com os olhares de desconhecidos por onde quer que fosse...
O mais bizarro é que as pessoas se sentem no direito de invadir a sua vida e perguntar o que você tem. E eu não estou falando de pessoas próximas, que estudam ou trabalham com você. Não! Eu estou falando de desconhecidos no transporte público!São tantas as histórias. As pessoas me paravam pra perguntar se eu havia feito cirurgia cardíaca, se eu tive broncopneumonia (!), me passavam receitas milagrosas para curar cicatrizes. E uma vez fui elogiada por um segurança do metrô pela minha “coragem de usar decote!”.
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 <![endif]-->  Eu me sentia uma alienígena (ainda me sinto, muitas vezes). Sério! Parece brincadeira, mas é verdade. Então, decidi usar o meu senso de humor para driblar o problema. Já que eu me sentia uma “alien” mesmo, então inventei a história de que minha cicatriz havia ocorrido após uma abdução alienígena. Aqueles “seres” me sequestraram e implantaram um chip no meu peito, através do qual é possível me rastrear aqui na Terra. Contei tantas vezes essa história que passei até a acreditar nela. Aliás, ela foi publicada na revista Maxim Brasil, na época em que a revisava.
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Maxim Brasil ed. 11 (2009), pág. 67
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 <![endif]-->  Na verdade, era muito mais interessante contar a história inventada do que contar a verdade, que é “eu não sei como a cicatriz surgiu”. Um pouco de fantasia faz bem...
Difícil convivênciaCerta vez, em entrevista à revista TPM, a lindíssima Malu Mader relatou o drama que ela passou aos 25 anos ao saber que tinha um tumor atrás do fígado. Ela precisou fazer uma cirurgia para retirá-lo, descobriu que não era câncer, mas ficou com uma cicatriz na barriga por conta da cirurgia.Na entrevista ela disse que a princípio sua convivência com a marca foi complicada, mas com o tempo ela se acostumou, e nunca fez uma cirurgia plástica para tentar retirá-la, porque, como ela disse: “a cicatriz já era minha – aquilo vai se integrando, a marca vira tua”. Por outro lado, ela afirma que até hoje não usa biquíni em público, porque sabe que as pessoas vão ficar olhando.
É assim que eu me sinto. Por mais que haja momentos de compreensão, o tal do “isso não é nada”, sempre há um constrangimento por eu não ser “normal” esteticamente. Às vezes eu paro pra pensar e parece que estou fazendo um drama por nada. E sei que se você está lendo este blog e não tem uma marca como a minha, está pensando a mesma coisa. Mas não é bem assim. Não é fácil conviver com o queloide. Não é fácil... Além da parte estética, que incomoda, sim, e muito, tem o lance da dor, da coceira... Não é tão simples ou um drama superficial como aparenta.Algumas pessoas que me conhecem devem estar se surpreendendo com esses relatos. Porque na maior parte do tempo eu não demonstro o meu incômodo com as cicatrizes. Como disse, sempre levo na base do humor. Rir dos meus problemas sempre foi a forma que encontrei de me proteger deles. E com as cicatrizes é a mesma coisa.
Apenas quem me conhece mais profundamente sabe o quanto essas marcas me incomodam. E escrever aqui é também uma forma de me aceitar melhor. Se para mim é difícil sair com uma blusa decotada ou então sem um colar para tentar disfarçar as cicatrizes, imagina o quão difícil é falar abertamente sobre isso aqui. Mas este é o primeiro passo para a minha aceitação pessoal. Como diz o título do blog, EU SOU MAIS QUE UMA CICATRIZ, e é isso que vou provar a mim mesma a cada dia!&nbsp;
FELIZ 2012 A TODOS! QUE O ANO QUE VEM DEIXE MUITAS MARCAS DE ALEGRIA EM CADA UM DE NÓS!