Conjunção
Autor: Rodrigo Martins | Publicado: 2012-10-26T22:42:00-02:00

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Às vezes as pessoas confundem as palavras. Outras vezes elas
são gagas e enrolam a língua nos dentes. Mas, o caso mais comum é gerado pela
ausência da educação, também conhecido como ignorância, do latim “sin govirnus
inviztimintus”.

Eu tinha duas alternativas. Escapar de tudo ligando os fones de ouvido e sendo
enviado a outro universo. Ou ouvir mais uma dessas conversar de trem,
respeitando as leis da ACA (Associação dos Curiosos Anônimos). Como membro
especial, não pude negar a minha natureza.



Acho que a comparação entre trens e latas de sardinhas é
clichê, mas porém não consigo encontrar nenhum outro tipo de lata que substitua
as de sardinha a altura. A proximidade dos corpos dentro do vagão com certeza
contribuiu para que eu pudesse ouvir. 

O relato a seguir foi modificado para preservar o seu sistema auditivo.

Garoto 1: “Nossa cara estou com a maior fome.”

Garoto 2: “Você não sabe. Ontem comi quase três pratos. E ainda fui fazer
natação.” 

Garoto 1: “Mas é perigoso nadar depois de comer!”

Sou obrigado a confessar que, até esta parte da conversa, o que mais me
surpreendeu foi perceber que ainda há pessoas que se preocupam com o próximo.

Garoto 2: “É... Ainda bem que foram apenas exercícios leves.”

Garoto 1:&nbsp; “É você não pode mergulhar.&nbsp; para
que eu decepasse meus ouvidos. faca. Felizmente fui salvo pouco antes de querer
cortar minhas orelhas. dentro do vag”



Garoto 2: “Eu estou ligado. Fiquei com muito medo de dar
conjins... Contest... Convul... De sofrer conjunção”



Foi como se todas as minas terrestres escondidas na Angola estivessem estourado a menos de quinze centímetros do meu ouvido. Eu quase podia sentir o sangue escorrendo. Felizmente, fui
salvo pouco antes de arrancar minhas orelhas.




Garoto 1: “Nossa cara, você é muito burro, não tem nada
haver com conjunção.”



Garoto 2: “Ah, sei lá. É aquele negócio que dá na barriga.”



Garoto 1: “GASTRITE!”



Dessa vez, o salvador foi quem cedeu a faca&nbsp;para que eu decepasse meus ouvidos.

Garoto 2: “Deve ser. Acho que embaralha os intestinos.” 
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Garoto 1: “E isso é para sempre? Fica torto?ngua﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽que os carrascos da lú da mpam me
avisar sobre algo. Aparentemente he querer cortar minhas orelhas. dentro do vag”



Garoto 2:&nbsp; “Lógico que
não. Você morre.”

O trem para e eu desembarco na mesma estação em que os carrascos da língua.
Vejo o trem partir. E o barulho da máquina me conforta.
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