MANIA DE MANIAS 2
Autor: Blog da Mirian | Publicado: 2014-03-24T17:14:00-07:00






MANIAS 2





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Eu
não sou aquele samba, mas estou cheia de manias, cujas eu havia esquecido de
citar antes:






Colocar
o celular no bolso traseiro&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp; 
Entender
as coisas com duplo sentido
&nbsp;
Homem
que urina fora do recipiente
&nbsp;
Homem
que solta gás embaixo das cobertas e cobre o rosto do outro
&nbsp; 
Homem
que carimba a cueca&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Homem
que arrota e palita os dentes
&nbsp;
Homem
dizer que lugar da mulher é na cozinha e que o carro que ela deveria pilotar é o de feira ou mercado.
&nbsp;
Mulher
não sabe tocar instrumento, só canta e dança.
&nbsp;
Mulher
leva a casa inteira na bolsa
&nbsp;
Falar
que chocolate cura TPM
&nbsp;
Falta
de assunto
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Pegar
emprestado e nunca devolver
&nbsp;
Dizer
que religioso não pode não pode participar da política
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Se auto medicar
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Médico
com letra ilegível
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Saciar
a sede com qualquer coisa, exceto água
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Pedir
para alguém guardar o lugar na fila
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Dar-se
bem à custa dos outros e ainda, roubar-lhe os créditos

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;Piadas
ofensivas regionais:

&nbsp;Goiás é a terra de sertanejo,&nbsp;
mato-grossense vive no
pantanal.&nbsp;
Tocatinense é atrasado embora seja um ótimo lugar para shows e sempre
será aplaudido quando mencionar sua capital Palmas,
Piaui é quente que ninguém
cozinha com fogão,&nbsp;
Roraima/Rondônia/Amapá parecem outros países,&nbsp;
Acre ficou
conhecido por causa da Marina Silva.

&nbsp;&nbsp;
Piadas ofensivas Importadas: 

&nbsp;Francês não toma
banho e fala fazendo biquinho, 
Italiano só come massa e é cantor de ópera, 
Alemão adora
salsicha, é chamado de chucrute e atrás dele está o barrichelo. 
Orientais têm o menor
documento e seus apelidos: hatiro nomuro/cagaro nomato/ nomuro mijaro. 
&nbsp;Africanos têm o maior
documento. 
&nbsp;Português tem
raciocínio zero. 
&nbsp;Árabes/ Israelitas/&nbsp; são
mulherengos, vivem no deserto, andam de camelo e o nome mais popular é Mohamed.
Mexicano só se alimenta de tequila e tacos
Americano se acha dono do mundo&nbsp;
Austrália só tem cangurus e marsupiais 

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

&nbsp;Ao
cantar “nos galhos secos”, logo se lembra daquela família &nbsp;
&nbsp;Mídia
focada no jogador cinco estrelas no futebol, mesmo não tendo sido este o autor
de um gol.



As
regiões mais populosas das metrópoles contêm as maiores favelas e pior povo.&nbsp;
Confundir
sotaque com escolaridade&nbsp;
Estudantes
de direito são tortos, de esquerda e cujos cometem os crimes mais bárbaros.



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Tendo
dinheiro, pode tudo&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Homem
apelidado de “Anderson Silva” por causa da voz fina&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Carros
e motos com faróis altos.&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Pegar
elevador só para subir até o 3º andar.&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Duas
pessoas pegarem o ônibus usando o mesmo bilhete.&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Tirar
foto de comida/lanche e no espelho e menina que faz pose de funkeira para tirar foto.



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Falar
em vão ou exclamar o nome da Divindade. (ex. ah Jesus, ah meu Deus, "crendeuspai", Deus é pai, Deus é mais, etc.)



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Gente
que tira proveito da Lei da prioridade/preferencial para obter vantagem.&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Combinar
coisas incondizentes.&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Imitar
moda da televisão&nbsp; 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Colocar
música triste em momentos alegres&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Confundir
amizade e família com negócios&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Pixar
as paredes dos banheiros públicos com fezes&nbsp; 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Violência
nos trotes de faculdade&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Confundir
nordeste com norte&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Alguém
dorme enquanto o outro fala&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Pais
que carregam os filhos no colo e são super protetores&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Luz
acesa durante o dia&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Vizinhas
fofoqueiras&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Pais
que usam filhos pequenos para obterem algum privilégio&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Pessoa
que pede desculpas tocando a outra&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Vestir
blusa e shortinho/bermuda com chinelo no frio&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Associar
ataques de riso com uso excessivo de remédios ou cannabis&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Inventar
estórias absurdas para aparecer na mídia&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Tirar
foto na diagonal&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Deixar
criança largada e depois xingá-la por causa de um descuido&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Tocar
alguém para pedir desculpa por causa de um esbarro