In Mortis Examine
Autor: Ludmila | Publicado: 2015-02-13T08:55:00-08:00

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Morreu
n’algum ponto entre a nona e a décima curva da estrada deserta. Levantou-se e
mal olhou o cadáver lacerado – pouco importava, afinal. Mal retinha os detalhes
perimortem na memória. Lágrima ou
outra, oco no peito, abismo nos pés. Palavras
duras, voz de veludo. O fim do mundo contido em poucas sentenças.
Tempestade vermelha e negra entre crime e castigo. O de sempre.



Morta,
deixou o corpo, limpou a sujeira, caminhou. Seria a terceira ou quarta de suas
mortes? As lembranças não se sustinham. Eram os tais primeiros minutos. Quanto
mais até o rigor mortis? Quanto mais
até que os últimos resquícios de vida se dissipassem numa sinapse incompleta?

Você é tão fraca, o
cadáver se aproximou.

Deve estar doendo,
respondeu indiferente.

Não mais do que doeu das primeiras
vezes, rebateu conformado. Então?

Então...?

O que vai ser? Luto? Revolta?
Reclusão?

Passei da idade,
e cerrou os lábios.

Talvez
fosse a quinta de suas mortes, não estava certa. As convicções caíam pela
estrada, aos pares, junto a tudo que era concreto. O cadáver a seguia de perto
e ela sabia que assim seria. Testemunharia a própria dor como alma fora do
corpo. Anestesiada e dormente. Equilibrada mal e porcamente na linha tênue
entre culpa e culpado.

O
que sabia, o que tinha por certo é que entre mortos e feridos, salvavam-se os
fortes e ela nunca fora capaz de preencher aquela estatística. Seu destino era
sempre morte, fosse numa beira de estrada, numa casa em ruínas, num banco
traseiro, numa vala comum. Causa mortis:
excesso.

Mais
que fraca, sentia-se exausta. Só queria que a abiose encerrasse todas as
amarras que a prendiam à vida. Respiração. Impulsos. Circulação. Sonhos.
Vontades. Pesar. Quando se morre mais de uma vez, tudo é questão de hábito.

Mas
eis que caminhou indistintamente por uma hora ou um minuto, talvez menos, ou
talvez mais, e voltou ao mesmo lugar em que estava antes e sempre estivera.
Morta, entre a nona e a décima curva. A quarta ou quinta de suas mortes. Eviscerada
na beira da estrada.

Que assim seja,
e deitou-se no asfalto.

Assim será,
o cadáver a acompanhou.