Das responsabilidades de gente grande
Autor: Adriane Ponte Cisne | Publicado: 2015-09-07T18:15:00-03:00

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Vou assumindo o mundo. Procurando o que me agrada e o que supre as
minhas necessidades. O lucro geralmente é o conhecimento inédito. O prejuízo é
o alto preço por ficar muitas vezes longe do que não posso levar comigo. Já
entendi que tenho que pagá-lo sem reclamar muito, aceitando ser mal
interpretada por aí.

Mesmo sendo pequena ainda, já consegui comprovar aquela regra que dita
que, quando você se abre para novas experiências, surgem novas
responsabilidades que normalmente não fazem parte do projeto inicial. Caramba,
elas quase sempre me surpreendem! E assumi-las me parece acima de minhas
forças. Raramente são leves, e eu tenho que estudar muito as minhas opções
para tentar evitar as frustrações. O resultado é um investimento descomunal em
pensamentos e discussões com os meus botões e com alguns amigos gurus só para acertar
uns detalhes práticos. E, claro, uma satisfação por conseguir chegar mais longe
do que eu previa. Não perco o sono, mas perco a paz por uns instantes até uma
reorganização sistemática me colocar em pé de novo com os olhos abertos,
substituindo a angústia por uma vontade renovada de continuar.

O desejo de não ser leve tão cedo me faz procurar novidade sempre mais
longe. Não o faço de forma inconsequente, como às vezes aparenta por causa
dessa mania de fazer piada frequentemente. Penso, logo decido. E vou. Vou com o
cuidado proposital de não me sabotar.

Li em um livro nesses dias a frase: "isso poderia muito bem ter
acontecido de outra maneira" e concordei, mas penso que eu pensaria a
mesma coisa se isso tivesse realmente acontecido de outra maneira. Mas eu escolhi
isso aqui. É uma intransferível responsabilidade, e aquele "tudo depende
de você" – que eu odiei trincando os dentes por tantos anos – hoje me
parece bem mais agradável do que esperar prioritariamente a intervenção de
outrem.

Ora, Sra. Ironia do Destino, faça a gentileza de continuar assim! Pois
nunca me senti tão viva e satisfeita diante das dificuldades que eu não queria
enfrentar.





Adriane
Ponte Cisne

22 de julho
de 2015


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