Amor próprio
Autor: Mika_Komesu | Publicado: 2012-03-29T16:18:00-03:00

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Amor próprio
&nbsp; Eu acreditava que o amor deveria ser doado e consequentemente recebido. Um dia meu pensamento voou, me encontrando num universo diferente, num momento diferente, com uma vida diferente, a única permanência entre esse mundo e a realidade da qual eu fugia, eram as pessoas que eu amava as que me ouviam pacientemente, as que me faziam rir de mim mesma, as que me enxergavam na multidão. &nbsp;Nesse mundo essas pessoas não sofriam, não morriam e não me abandonavam. Mesmo assim em meio a tanto amor e alegria, eu não estava inteira, tampouco feliz. Então meu pensamento voltou.&nbsp;&nbsp; E caminhando agora no presente e na realidade eu sei que o meu amor por mim é o que sempre me neguei. Eu conseguia amar e admirar a todos que conviviam comigo, no entanto a pessoa mais presente na minha vida, a única que quis ser notada, percebida, reconhecida e amada eu simplesmente tentei apagar, eu tentei me apagar e o vazio aumentou, a carência não se desfazia ainda que eu estivesse recebendo um imenso amor, faltava alguém nesse círculo, nesse laço, nesse vínculo. Eu.&nbsp; Por muito tempo eu pensei que me amar significava aceitar meus defeitos, me esconder para me proteger, inventar outras Marianas que fossem menos eu e mais os outros. Hoje, com muita ajuda, eu entendo que aceitar meus defeitos não quer dizer que devam ser imutáveis e permanentes. Eu posso reconhecê-los e molda-los em virtudes, essas virtudes valem muito mais que os talentos inatos, pois foram alcançadas com trabalho, luta e perseverança, mesmo que me dissessem que era impossível ou inútil. Ainda me escondo, mas não de todos o tempo todo. Eu abro meu sorriso para abraçar os que se aproximam quando me procuram por afeto e carinho. Eu não preciso mais inventar alguém além de mim. Posso simplesmente escolher quais características minhas, verdadeiras, autênticas eu mostro a cada um que estiver comigo.&nbsp; Eu admiro em mim, não apenas meu dom de produzir textos belos, ou compor uma canção mais repleta de sentimentos que técnica, ou minha paixão pela arte da criatividade. Amo em mim minha capacidade de enxergar o outro com a mesma intensidade com que quero me enxergar. Minha mente questionadora que às vezes me confunde e principalmente o amor que não me deixa desistir, tão irracionalmente racional que às vezes teme ser pouco, ainda que seja sempre muito. Quando sou capaz de receber um sorriso, um abraço, um olhar afetivo eu penso que algo em mim é bom, confiável, amável então não preciso negar a mim o que outros já afirmaram que mereço e quero acreditar indubitavelmente que realmente mereço meu amor por mim.&nbsp;&nbsp;