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Autor: Carolina Pantoja Monteiro | Publicado: 2013-02-12T10:55:00-08:00

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Sei que já é tarde da noite, mais
continuo deitada em minha cama, enrolada no meu edredom florido e olhando
para o teto do meu quarto. O nosso último encontro não me sai da mente. Já
tentei dormir ou pensar em outras coisas, mais todas as minhas tentativas são
vãs.






Como alguém conseguiria pregar os
olhos depois de ter passado o dia e a noite com aquele que seria o amor da sua
vida? Lembrar nossos momentos juntos me trás todos os sentimentos e sensações à
tona novamente.






Você me deixando em casa lá pelas
23 horas, o frio costumeiro, você me oferecendo o blusão preto que estava
vestindo... Poderia ter recusado me fazendo de durona e dizendo que não estava
sentindo frio, mais nunca nessa vida eu rejeitaria uma gentileza assim da sua
parte e pensando bem, eu ia adorar ficar com o seu cheirinho.






Andávamos sem pressa, enrolávamos
o máximo que podíamos. A verdade é que só queríamos prolongar esse nosso momento
juntos. Ríamos durante o caminho todo, falávamos de assuntos que pra muitos não
teriam a menor graça, mais para nós dois a opinião de terceiros não tinha a menor
importância.






Confesso que quando chegamos ao
portão da minha casa, me bateu uma tristeza. Não queria de maneira nenhuma
dizer adeus, eu queria estar com você, ter sua companhia. Eu já estava com a
chave da porta em minhas mãos, não queria fazer barulho pra não acabar
acordando minha família.






A escuridão atrapalhava minha
visão, eu te chamei pra perto e disse “xiiiiii”, pressionando meus lábios com
meu dedo indicador. Você se aproximou pensando que eu fosse te dizer algo
importante, mais eu não disse palavra alguma, te dei um beijo. Um beijo leve,
beijo dado por quem tinha medo da distância, beijo dado por mim, que achava que
não teria outra oportunidade.






Jamais vou me esquecer daquele
momento, de você se escorando no carro que tinha na garagem da minha casa,
dizendo que o beijo que eu te dei tinha meio que dado fraqueza nas suas pernas
e que você sentia frio na barriga. Escorriam lágrimas dos seus olhos e você
estava de cabeça baixa, tentando evitar que eu te visse assim, fragilizado.






Compartilhávamos dos mesmos
sentimentos. Também chorei. Chorei porque te amo, porque não é justo pessoas
que se amam ficarem distantes. Não é justo eu ficar longe de você, ainda mais
agora que estamos apaixonados!






Você viu meu desespero e o quanto
isso tudo me abatia. Segurou minhas mãos, me puxou pra perto, me envolveu com
seu abraço e disse olhando nos meus olhos que eu era tudo o que você sempre sonhou
e o quanto me amava. Naquele momento eu senti que distância alguma mudaria nossos
sentimentos, não importava onde fossemos.






Ouvir isso tudo de você, saber
que me esperaria e que nós viveríamos a nossa história de amor foi tão
reconfortante, me deu esperança. Um “eu amo você” é pouco pra expressar o que
eu sinto. Eu estou aqui, sem conseguir dormir, olhando para o teto do meu
quarto e reprisando na minha mente as nossas cenas, como uma forma de reviver
tudo aquilo de novo. Não é assim que dizem: “recordar é viver”?






Vou embora, na certeza de que
quando eu retornar, você vai estar na rodoviária ansioso por me abraçar, louco
pra me dar um beijo e para dizer que você contava os dias e as horas para me
ver.