Notável Transformação
Autor: Gustavo Vinícius | Publicado: 2013-09-01T09:35:00-04:00

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<![endif]-->



Foi o que de mais incrível
me aconteceu. Eu estava sempre acompanhado e ainda me sentia só. O vazio no
coração e na alma eram minhas sensações mais comuns. E não entendia, não havia
explicação para estar assim, eu era “normal”. Um garoto vivendo como qualquer
outro, tentando aproveitar o máximo dos prazeres antes da inesperada morte. Fazia
tudo quanto queria, regras não existiam. Tive uma boa criação e nunca me
proibiram nada, a única coisa que não me permitia extrapolar alguns limites era
querer retribuir o amor de meus pais, apesar de raramente conseguir. A falsa
sensação de liberdade era constantemente renovada. Não sentir uma emoção era
tortura, era assumir minha morte em vida. Nunca entendia porque dormir era tão
difícil, nem porque precisava me manter tão ocupado. Colocar a cabeça no
travesseiro e pensar o quanto minha vida era hipócrita era doloroso. E como
qualquer um faria, eu fugia da dor. Um falso moralista, arrogante e soberbo que
se importava com o que os outros diziam. Fui caminhando assim, seguindo uma
filosofia que me parecia correta, mas não me salvava da escuridão, da solidão.
Os mitos que criei me guiavam, eles sempre parecem corretos diante de nossos
olhos. Alimentava o pensamento de que o mundo tem vários caminhos, e que você
só precisa se identificar com um deles e segui-lo, alimentando o ego sem
precisar de mudanças.&nbsp; Até perceber, que
na verdade, isso é uma forma de querer continuar no erro buscando aliviar a
culpa. &nbsp;O que o mundo tem são vários
círculos formados para te afastar de um único caminho.



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<![endif]-->

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<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>

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<![endif]-->



Andei por vários deles.
Percebi que nada te impede de andar por qualquer um desses, exceto o único
caminho que mencionei. Geralmente ele é o que mais negamos. Fui até o limite da
dor invisível.&nbsp; Popularidade, vaidade,
emoções vazias, vícios... Nada mais adiantava. Não admitia um erro sequer e
vivia todo errado, mas o que é errado se a vida é relativa? Nem tudo. Negava
até o último suspiro que precisava do único caminho que sempre rejeitava.
Estava infeliz e as pessoas que me amavam sofriam por isso, mas estava
insensível e cego, não fazia diferença. O centro do mundo era eu, era meu
próprio deus, realizado seja o meu desejo. Com o tempo fui percebendo o deus
incapaz que eu era, nunca me chamei de deus, mas agia como se não precisasse de
um e ser o dono da minha vida era minha desculpa. Nunca quis servir nem
obedecer. Não sanar meus desejos era loucura, afinal, eu me sentiria morto e
tinha que enganar a vida. A mentira realmente tem perna curta, depois de um
tempo, nem a si mesmo consegue enganar.

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<![endif]-->



Um dia entrei no meu
quarto, brigado com tudo e com todos. Não tinha mais saída, nem me enganar
conseguia mais. Minhas palavras cheias de enganos já não me iludiam, a
realidade era forte e violenta. &nbsp;Foi
quando lembrei o caminho que sempre neguei, o único que não admitia estar
certo. Pois se estivesse, eu teria que assumir ter passado a vida inteira
errando e estar errado era inadmissível. Meu orgulho apesar de forte, não foi
maior que a dor e o vazio que eu sentia. Coloquei-me de joelhos e clamei ao ser
que sempre neguei. Eu sabia que mesmo falando sobre Ele, todas as minhas atitudes
o negava. Humilhei-me e confessei toda a realidade, tudo que você leu até aqui
e um pouco mais. Dos meus olhos não só caíram as lágrimas, mas toda mágoa,
vazio, desespero e inquietude. Da minha boca não mais saía vãs palavras, eu
dizia a verdade finalmente. No meu coração e na minha mente já não existia o
desejo de me enganar, de viver por vazias sensações e falsa imagem, o que iam
pensar de mim já nem me afetava. Podia ser eu mesmo por conhecer alguém que me
ama pelo que sou. A paz que eu senti é inexplicável! Foi como voltar à origem e
começar a viver verdade. E a verdade é que Jesus me salvou, me apontou o
caminho e pude conhecer a vida!

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  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
  
  
 
<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>

 /* Style Definitions */
 table.MsoNormalTable
 {mso-style-name:"Tabela normal";
 mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
 mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
 mso-style-noshow:yes;
 mso-style-priority:99;
 mso-style-qformat:yes;
 mso-style-parent:"";
 mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
 mso-para-margin-top:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-right:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
 mso-para-margin-left:0cm;
 line-height:115%;
 mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
 font-size:11.0pt;
 font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
 mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
 mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
 mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}

<![endif]-->