Antes e depois
Autor: Larissa R. P. | Publicado: 2011-08-15T15:16:00-07:00

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Hoje, tanto tempo já passado. Um passado ainda ressente. Uma nova fase, inundada de ressentimento.&nbsp;
  Conto o tempo como sendo o antes e o depois do que você me fez e você nem percebe, ou de fato prefere não ver. Acredita que eu superei, que consegui perdoar... Estamos bem! Que tolice!
  O antes, assim como tudo que passa, não voltará jamais. O depois ... tem conseguências que os olhos não alcançam, muito menos olhos egoístas.&nbsp;
  Vivo na doce amargura de ter você pela metade mais uma vez e, dessa vez, sem o toque sutil da esperança; mas a maior diferença de todas, o que na verdade faz com que tudo seja realmente diferente, sou eu.Agora, também sou apenas parte: parte de alguém que acreditava, parte de um coração que amava, parte de alguém que sonhava, parte de um coração que se doava, apenas uma parte... uma pequenina parte de uma mulher que um dia julgou ser capaz de sentir felicidade.Todo o resto de mim ou se perdeu, ou se encontra em pedaços, destruída. Não me reconheço em meio aos destroços. Vejo pedaços que lembram algo, não gosto de me lembrar. Procuro, mas tendo esquecer. No pouco que ficou de pé existe dor, uma dor que lateja e às vezes tenta se disfarçar de força, mas logo fraqueja.
  Você nunca vai conseguir ver, entender ou se quer imaginar o estrago que me causou.
  Não verá, não por orgulho meu, porque não quero mostrar, mas porque você prefere se poupar de qualquer sentimento de culpa, então escolhe não ver. Nunca vai entender, não por ser incapaz, mas pela sua capacidade de entender apenas seu lado, de pensar primeiro em você mesmo. Imaginar? Se você não escolhe não ver o que está tão claro, entende apenas o seu lado, porque iria perder tempo imaginando uma dor que é minha?
  Vivo das suas migalhas e dos meus restos. Até quando isso vai me sustentar?
  Sonho todos os dias com o fim. Nada trágico. Apenas meu sossego. Quando mesmo despedaçada poderei viver sem essa amargura no peito. Quando mesmo não sendo completa, poderei ter de volta algum orgulho.&nbsp;
  Sinto falta de mim e não tenho forças pra me reerguer ...
Larissa R. P.15/08/2011