Longas cartas pra ninguém IV
Autor: Gustave Caligari | Publicado: 2014-08-08T06:36:00-07:00

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Esse é o único poder que você tem! É a única coisa que você
controla! Não gostar de mim.



Eu lutei a guerra, mas a guerra venceu. No começo a gente
escreve coisas bonitinhas, e se perde em devaneios de interpretações
imaginárias. Depois a gente blasfema contra o amor e contra quem pode usufruir
do amor de quem se ama. João amava Maria, que amava Jose, que amava Mariana. O
papel nem me aguenta mais, nem suporto mais ver a angustia que você me suscita.
Ele se revolta e grita. E ele diz que eu devo ser num mínimo poético. Que eu
preciso de tudo isso pra ser feliz. Pois só se vive por um triz. 



O amor não me assusta, o amor só me insulta.



E ele me apareceu, na estrada de Pompeia, com olhos tristes e
batom, com uma ficha só, indo ao fliperama do Destino. Me pergunta o que há de
novo nesse mundo, e aí eu soube, que ele não sabia de nada. Inocente. 



Então eu me consolei, e pedi perdão ao papel. Que entre a
alegria e a tristeza, amar já não tem nada que ver com isso, escrever sim.
Escrever como eu escrevo agora, preocupado com a estética, sem sentimentos. Só
temas.


Afinal, eram todas essas cartas apenas
desenvolvimento de temas! Não eram pra você! Não eram sobre chorar ou sorrir,
eu mesmo! Eu só estava escrevendo... pra muita gente! O que muita gente queria
ler! Uau. Me sinto triste. Descobri meu truque, então essa tem que ser a
última. Agora eu senti a dor de acabar algo, ein. Agora eu senti algo acabando
por si só e me usando de instrumento o tempo todo. Ah, palavras! Me fizeram
escrever longas cartas por vocês. Não era pra você, meu amor, desculpe. Quem
sabe é esse meu futuro, te esquecer, e te fazer tão somente semente.