Eyes don't see, hearts don't feel
Autor: Tomaz Penner | Publicado: 2012-09-25T09:41:00-07:00


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Já disseram antes e em algumas
linhas bonitas que amar é conseguir ver e desamar é não enxergar mais. Foi
tanto dissabor que o que resta é acreditar nessa capacidade da gente de tentar
fazer as coisas. Tentar chegar lá. Você costuma dizer que eu não tenho fé, mas
acho que é precisamente o oposto. Tenho tanta fé que não preciso depositá-la
nos seus orixás ou espíritos de luz. Ela está toda em mim. Já disse várias
vezes sobre como esse amor transbordando é meu e só meu e você se apossou um
pouco sem o meu consentimento. &nbsp;E é sobre
essa possibilidade de amar e desamar que eu queria te falar. 

Como talvez em determinada
circunstância, depois de tanto tempo... Olhei sem querer o calendário agora e
percebi que logo hoje o tanto tempo se tornou dois anos e sete meses de nós, e
a gente já nem se dá conta. Pois é tanta experiência acumulada, a antítese dos
sentimentos, os maiores sorrisos e as lágrimas mais amargas que a gente já vê e
conhece tudo. E se conseguir enxergar for exatamente o que já não permite mais
amar? Se essa precisão cirúrgica no olhar, essa lente de aumento, mostrar o
lado escuro de nós? Quem sabe a distância impossível, depois de tanto tempo e
tantos nós, fosse o melhor? 

Pensando nisso, voltei à minha
fé, à minha crença inabalável em mim e escolhi me entregar de novo. Escolhi
fechar os olhos e pular nos teus braços como antes. Agora que nós abrimos mão
do mundo inteiro, o que nos resta senão a felicidade? Quando todas as telas e
todas as bocas berrarem, é a tua voz que eu quero ouvir. É uma escolha, mas não
acho que se trate tanto assim de ver ou não ver. É algo mais profundo, é aquele
desespero que grita durante todas as noites insones atordoadas por pílulas
brancas, a tentativa, a escolha da felicidade.