Bianca Romão
Autor: Mateus Veras | Publicado: 2011-10-01T16:26:00-07:00

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 <![endif]-->  A explosão do silêncio angustiante&nbsp; Meu vestido não era o mais bonito. Lembro-me de que eu ganhara de minha mãe de dia das crianças por mera necessidade. Só sei que não passava de um paninho ralo cheio de flores amarelas e laranjas. Não era rendado e muito menos rodado como o das outras meninas e, em meus braços, eu carregava uma cesta de frutas baratas e muito pesadas enquanto caminhava embaixo de um sol quente. Meus olhinhos negros se enchiam de lágrimas quando – de longe – via as bonecas de porcelana no quintal das “moças-de-nariz-empinado”.Eu costumava brincar com as poucas moedas que eu ganhava quando vendias as frutas. Sentia o cheiro de solidão quando a brisa bagunçava meus cabelos maus tratados e, assim, chorava por não ter sorrisos. Todo dia eu chegava cansada e ia dormir com fome tentando enganá-la com os doces sonhos de menina. Só sei que assim cifrei meus dias.
O sol estava mais macio e brilhante quando completei meus doze anos. Eu quis senti-lo, assim como eu me sentia mais moça. Troquei o penteado, mudei o caminho e observei novas expressões. Como sempre só eu havia lembrado do dia em que cheguei ao mundo; não era costume comemorar datas que pudessem trazer infelicidades pela falta do presente. E, assim, imaginei a rua como uma grande festa e o canto dos pássaros como a mais bela orquestra. Os sorrisos se multiplicaram em meu rosto pálido, mas a felicidade se completou quando chutei um caderninho azul todo sujo e velho.Não era só um caderninho. Ele tinha uma beleza cativante que me fez apertá-lo ao peito e a amá-lo intensamente. Estava todo rabiscado; algumas frases eu não entendia, mas me deixavam arrepiada e feliz. Corri para casa e passei a noite toda apertando os olhinhos e me aventurando a escrever “frases bonitas” como aquelas do caderninho; e assim o fiz. Foram os meus primeiros versinhos.Embrulhei aquela tarde em seda. Fiz de segundos os mais risonhos e aquele versos incompletos e imaturos construíram os poemas mais urgentes, os sentimentos mais belos; construíram um querer ser e o feroz desejo de reproduzir, em folhas vazias e sujas, a beleza mais intensa dos seres imperfeitos.