Crônica: (In)felicidade
Autor: Fernanda Gadelha | Publicado: 2012-06-14T22:00:00-03:00

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Como que para se contrapor à autopiedade insistente que se alojara dentro de mim havia quase uma semana, o dia estava perfeito. Sol, poucas nuvens, gente na praia, a criançada correndo livre, chutando a água do mar. Um clima de bossa nova e a mulherada desfilando em roupas minúsculas até onde a vista alcançava. Mas meu desânimo era como um gosto amargo na boca que tira o sabor de qualquer comida boa. Eu até disse à família que não me importava, ‘da próxima, dá certo’, eu disse com um riso amarelo.

Já fazia quase um ano que não dava certo. Quase descrente, eu já não queria me importar, dava de ombros. Tomava uma água de coco e beliscava um peixinho frito, mas aquilo não era alegria de verdade. Tinha um homem que representava o exato oposto de mim naquele momento desfrutando das regalias que deveriam pertencer a mim.&nbsp;
Então eu paguei o barraqueiro e subi de volta para o carro, cabisbaixo, não olhava ninguém no olho. Só praguejei quando veio um infeliz me pedir esmola. Não sei de onde sai essa gente. ‘Vai trabalhar’. Dei partida no carro e fui embora, ignorando o que o sujeito esbravejava, agitando um pano puído pra mim. Eu aqui tão transtornado e ele querendo discutir. Ô gente insensível!
Parei no posto, abasteci e, na loja de conveniência, comprei um chocolatinho. Voltei para o carro e dirigi até o mercado. Fiz as compras da semana e, no caixa, tive de ouvir a conversa entre duas funcionárias. Era desastre atrás de desastre. Hoje em dia, essa gente só fala em tragédia, enfermidade, dívida. Só sabe reclamar da vida. Paguei e fui embora. Para casa.
A mulher passou e deixou um beijo bom, dizendo que tinha comida na geladeira, era só esquentar. O moleque deu um pulo do sofá pra me abraçar, esfreguei os cabelos dele. ‘Vamo jogar, pai?’. ‘Mais tarde, meu filho’. Entrei no quarto, tirei a roupa, fui para o banho. Lavei bastante o cabelo, como se aquela chateação fosse embora com a sujeira. Renovado, em parte, troquei de roupa e fui comer. Salmão, meu preferido. Quase fiquei feliz de novo, se não fosse a falta de um vinhozinho. Mas dava pro gasto a lata de cerveja que sobrou do churrasco da semana passada.
Na sala, sentei no sofá, o menino dormia. Na TV passavam as imagens da última enchente que invadiu as casas de palafita e desalojou um monte de gente. Resmunguei. ‘Faz casa onde não deve! Ô povo errado!’ Mudei para um canal fechado, cansei. Coloquei um DVD. A coleção completa dos Beatles. Travou rapidinho, mas depois voltou.
Vida difícil. Mas, da próxima vez, acerto todos os números da loteria!