Solidão a 2
Autor: Segundas Intenções | Publicado: 2011-03-19T05:05:00-07:00

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A comunicação entre as pessoas é um dos exercícios mais freqüentes, indispensáveis e, no entanto, frustrantes do cotidiano. Nem sempre o que se diz é o que de fato se sente. Romances têm início, e também terminam, com base em equívocos, em erros de avaliação, em expressões e ações subjetivas, mesmo que pretendamos lhes dar a maior objetividade possível, ao tentarmos comunicar nossos pensamentos, emoções ou sentimentos.  
  Até os gestos mais espontâneos, inocentes e que não escondam nenhuma segunda intenção, correm o risco de serem mal-interpretados e nos trazerem aborrecimentos, não somente nos relacionamentos amorosos, mas no dia-a-dia. Palavras, por sua vez, são ambíguas, com sentidos muitas vezes bastante vagos, quando não opostos aos que pretendemos lhes emprestar, e mais complicam do que favorecem a genuína comunicação.  
  Quantas vezes, por exemplo, um elogio é interpretado como galhofa pelo nosso (ou pela nossa) interlocutor (ou interlocutora), gerando tensões, conflitos, rompimentos, quando não coisa pior! E a recíproca, claro, é verdadeira. Por isso, esse ato supremo de racionalidade é o que mais me fascina e foi o que determinou, inclusive, o meu rumo na vida, a minha atividade à qual dedico 24 horas por dia, a minha paixão e a minha profissão.  
  Escrevi, recentemente, uma crônica, em que tentei demonstrar o acerto do escritor francês André Malraux, que disse que integramos o que pode ser denominado de “a civilização da solidão”. Não, é claro, no sentido em que o termo é usualmente compreendido, ou seja, da falta de companhia, mas num outro mais profundo, intrínseco, espiritual: o de não sermos entendidos em nossas palavras, ações e, notadamente, intenções pelos que nos cercam ou que convivem conosco.  
  Creio que não há quem nunca não tenha se sentido só, absoluta e irremediavelmente só, mesmo caminhando em uma rua apinhada de gente de alguma gigantesca metrópole, ou num teatro superlotado, durante um show de música popular, ou num estádio de futebol, em dia de grande clássico ou em tantos outros lugares, caracterizados pelo grande afluxo de pessoas.  
  Há, porém, uma forma de solidão mais comum e muito mais incômoda e dolorosa. Não raro, ela deixa marcas profundas em nossa mente, tanto no consciente quanto, e principalmente, no subconsciente, e é causa de grande sofrimento, que não raro se transforma em complexos de inferioridade, neuroses, psicoses ou coisas piores. Tem motivado, inclusive, tragédias, como agressões físicas e/ou morais, assassinatos, suicídios etc. Refiro-me à chamada “solidão a dois”.  
  Todo relacionamento afetivo, que não objetive, somente, uma ocasional relação sexual, começa sob os melhores augúrios e expectativas. Principalmente quando achamos que encontramos o amor da nossa vida. Alguns conseguem, bem ou mal, expressar esse afeto, e receber reciprocidade. Nesses casos, a união se torna estável, cresce, se consolida e dura até que um dos parceiros venha a morrer. Outros se acomodam, assumem a postura de “donos” do seu par, ou experimentam aventuras extraconjugais que machucam e não raro sufocam e findam por matar o afeto, mas por questões familiares, mantêm, nominalmente, o casamento. Tornam-se infelizes (e geram infelicidade a quem juraram “amor eterno”). Instala-se, num relacionamento desse tipo, a terrível solidão a dois em que, fisicamente, os parceiros permanecem juntos. Mas psicológica e afetivamente...  
  Há casos e casos, todos com final infeliz. Existem pares, por exemplo, que mesmo se amando reciprocamente, não sabem expressar o que sentem. Findam por se separar, em meio a ressentimentos, mágoas, recriminações e surdo (mas onipresente) rancor mútuo.  
  E tudo por que? Por falta de diálogo. Pelo fato dos dois (ou de um deles pelo menos) se esquecerem que o amor é auto-doação mútua, total, irrestrita e permanente. Por não se darem conta que o relacionamento amoroso não se trata de mera transação, do tipo dá cá, toma lá. Por não entenderem que ele não é um jogo de interesses, não importa de que natureza, e que não implica em dominação e conseqüente servidão, mas exige absoluta igualdade, quer de comportamento, quer de sentimentos, entre os parceiros.  
  Quem raciocina de forma egoísta, julgando-se o centro do universo e, portanto, “senhor” da companheira (ou “senhora” do companheiro, claro), faz com que o relacionamento fique doentio, vicioso, asfixiante e assuma caráter de terrível instabilidade, mesmo que ambos se amem, genuína e sinceramente. Quem agir dessa forma, certamente irá conhecer as agruras e o terror da solidão a dois. Sua aposta, mesmo que não se dê conta ou que negue, será no fracasso.  
  Por isso, é de rara felicidade o que Vinícius de Moraes escreveu, em um dos seus antológicos e mais inspirados poemas, conhecido pela maioria. Ou seja, que “o amor é eterno... enquanto dura”. Para uns, adquire a durabilidade que se estende por toda a vida (e, quem sabe, além dela). Para outros...pode durar poucos anos, quando não meses, semanas ou mesmo alguns parcos dias.
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>         <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> 
 /* Style Definitions */
 table.MsoNormalTable
 {mso-style-name:"Tabela normal";
 mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
 mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
 mso-style-noshow:yes;
 mso-style-priority:99;
 mso-style-qformat:yes;
 mso-style-parent:"";
 mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
 mso-para-margin-top:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-right:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
 mso-para-margin-left:0cm;
 line-height:115%;
 mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
 font-size:11.0pt;
 font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
 mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
 mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
 mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
 mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
 <![endif]-->  Por Pedro J. BondaczukFonte: www.planetanews.com&nbsp;<!--[if gte mso 9]>           <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]>     Normal   0         21         false   false   false      PT-BR   X-NONE   X-NONE                                                                                                     <!--[endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]>  <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
  DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
  LatentStyleCount="267">   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>                                                         <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>      <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>      <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>   <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>         <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> 
 /* Style Definitions */
 table.MsoNormalTable
 {mso-style-name:"Tabela normal";
 mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
 mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
 mso-style-noshow:yes;
 mso-style-priority:99;
 mso-style-qformat:yes;
 mso-style-parent:"";
 mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
 mso-para-margin-top:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-right:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
 mso-para-margin-left:0cm;
 line-height:115%;
 mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
 font-size:11.0pt;
 font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
 mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
 mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
 mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
 mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
 <![endif]-->