augusto.
Autor: Anny Stone | Publicado: 2014-05-15T23:52:00-07:00






as cadeirinhas da varanda eram amarelas. escutávamos algum disco, mas
não saberia dizer agora qual era. será que quando olhamos para as janelas, elas
nos olham de volta? augusto não saberia dizer. ele ficava incomodado com a
ideia de estarem olhando para ele. diretamente. na alma, na raiz, no sonho, no
erro. 



augusto não queria ser visto. por ninguém. 



quando o vi de verdade pela primeira vez, o momento era de felicidade.
dessas impossíveis de imaginar. como nos dias de perfeição. como tirar acerola
do pé. ou como dar comida aos animais pela manhã e a supergratidão dos
bichinhos em nos amar incondicionalmente. mas augusto não criava nada, nem
peixe de aquário. porque os bichos sabem dos sentimentos nossos. conhecem
nossos hábitos e estranham nosso cheiro, pedem carinho e dão mais ainda quando
sentem algo errado na nossa pele. na forma de respirar, falar. algum tom
melancólico na voz ou os suspiros de pensar sobre não ser possível ter uma
máquina do tempo. augusto tinha isso em comum comigo, queria uma máquina do
tempo para todos os arrependimentos anunciados. para esses tipos de besteira
feitas mesmo com toda certeza de que seriam erros. queríamos sempre voltar ao
segundo exato quando se decide pela pior opção. 



augusto não tinha muitas outras coisas em comum comigo. mas ninguém
precisa ser igual.



seus olhos brilhavam intensos, castanhos, pretos, lindos, mágicos, e
isso me encantava. me encanta ainda, mas tento me manter na distância segura.
num lugar onde eu não possa ouvir a voz dele, porque é a voz mais linda de
todas. lembro-me de augusto com algum copo na mão nas festas, e as chaves
penduradas no cinto, o tempo todo pronto para ir embora dali. não vá embora,
augusto. fique mais um pouco ao alcance do meu olhar. mas eu nunca poderia
dizer nada disso.



augusto liberta as pessoas. 



é envolvente de uma maneira na qual tudo da sua vida tem que ser vivido
ali dentro da respiração dele, daquela pele, corpo, cabelo. e eu só queria
estar ali, mesmo sabendo do resto do mundo. quando se está com augusto, tudo o
que se pode fazer é estar com ele, mesmo sabendo que não se está ao mesmo
tempo. e de tanto consumir augusto, você tem que partir. e agora a vida é
outra, mais bonita e mais cinza ao mesmo tempo. insossa de tanta beleza.

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não sei mais se são belas ou feias, as janelas. mas elas já não olham
mais para mim.