Mirroring Project / 2015
Autor: Eduardo Paulo Gomes | Publicado: 2015-11-02T04:28:00-08:00







Modern Family



Season 1 Episode 1:&nbsp;“Pilot”




































rom the TV show Modern Family,&nbsp;&nbsp;http://www.tvfanatic.com/shows/modern-family/episodes/season-1/&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;you will watch the episode “pilot”.





Trabalho em grupo (mini teatro - sketches ) feito pelos alunos do 9º ano da escola Padre Marzano em Belo Horizonte, MG - prof Eduardo Gomes, inspirado nas cenas do seriado modern Family- è Mirroring ( espelhando-se) ou seja os alunos estudam a cena e tentam reproduzi-la. daí desenvolvem o listening, speaking além de outras habilidades inerentes ao estudo, tais como trabalho em grupo (team work) desinibição,&nbsp;linguagem do corpo,&nbsp;&nbsp;etc.





Preparation: watch the clip a few times. Take note of the pronunciation and stressed words.



Task: Memorize the clip to perform in class. Then, focus on copying the exact sounds, stress patterns, and intonation patterns from the clip. You will act out the scene in class.



Directions:



1.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Watch the video and read the dialogue. Underline stress.



2.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Practice alone, (like you learn a song) with and without dialogue.



3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Practice with your group like a rehearsal.



4.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Be prepared to perform in class (&nbsp;&nbsp;use your imagination to perform the dialogues)



5.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Pay attention with those steps for evaluation grade:



a)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Group Preparation&nbsp;



b)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Stress



c)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Intonation



d)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Animation / drama / energy



e)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Pronunciation ( sounds )




Season 1 Episode 1:&nbsp;“Pilot”

Posted by:&nbsp;Optimus the Ninja&nbsp;on:&nbsp;January 7, 2011

In:&nbsp;Season 1
1&nbsp;Comment










Scene: Dunphy household – in the kitchen

Claire: Kids, breakfast! Kids! Ugh, Phil, would you get them?

Phil:&nbsp;(busy on cellphone)&nbsp;Yeah. Just a sec.

Claire: Kids!&nbsp;(drops container)&nbsp;Okay.

Phil: That is so… Kids! Get down here!

Hayley:&nbsp;(enters)&nbsp;Why are you guys yelling at us when we’re way upstairs? Just text me.

Claire: Alright, that’s not gonna happen and wow, you’re not wearing that outfit.

Hayley: What’s wrong with it?

Claire: Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt?

Phil:&nbsp;(looks up from cellphone)&nbsp;Sorry. Oh yeah, it looks really cute, sweetheart.

Hayley: Thanks.

Claire: No, it’s way too short. People know you’re a girl; you don’t need to prove it to them.

Alex:&nbsp;(enters)&nbsp;Luke got his head is stuck in the banister again.

Phil: I got it. Where’s the baby oil?

Claire: It’s on our bedside tab-&nbsp;(mutters)&nbsp;I dunno. Find it.&nbsp;(walks into cupboard door)&nbsp;Come on!

(Commentary)

Claire: I was… out of control growing up. There, you know, I said it. I… I just don’t want my kids to make the same bad mistakes that I made. If Hayley never wakes up on a beach in Florida half-naked, I’ve done my job.

Phil: …Our job.

Claire: Right. I’ve done our job.







Scene: at the Soccer match

Gloria: Bravo, Manny! Kick it, kick it! Don’t let him- kick it! Manito!&nbsp;(says something in Spanish)&nbsp;No! No, no! He tripped him, Jay. Where is the penalty?

Jay: Gloria, they’re 0-6. Let’s take it down a notch.

(Commentary)

Gloria: We’re very different. Jay’s from the city, he has big business. I come from a small village – very poor, but very, very beautiful. It’s the number one village in all Colombia for all the… what’s the word?

Jay: Murders.

Gloria: Yes, the murders.

(Cut back to scene)

Gloria: Manny, stop him!&nbsp;(says something in Spanish)

Manny waves at girl on bicycle; other team scores.

Teammate: Dammit, Manny.

Mother: Come on, coach. You’ve gotta take that kid out!

Gloria: You wanna take him out? How about I take you out?

Jay: Honey, honey…

Gloria: Why don’t you worry about your son? He spent the first half with his hand in his pants!

Mother:&nbsp;(mouths)&nbsp;Wow…&nbsp;(walks off)

Guy: I’ve wanted to tell her off for the last six weeks. I’m Josh, Ryan’s dad.

Gloria: Hi, I’m Gloria Pritchett, Manny’s mother.

Josh: Oh, and this must be your dad.

Jay: Her dad? No. No, that’s funny. Actually, no, I’m her husband. Don’t be fooled by the, uh…&nbsp;(tries getting up from chair)&nbsp;Gimme a second here.



Scene: Airplane

Mitchell:&nbsp;(to Lily)&nbsp;Who’s a good girl? Who’s that? Who’s that?

Granny: Oh, she’s adorable!

Mitchell: Oh, thank you.

Granny: Hi, precious!&nbsp;(puckers up; blows lips in attempt to make Lily smile)

Mitchell:&nbsp;(in small voice)&nbsp;Hello. Hi, hi! We just- we just adopted her from Vietnam and… we’re bringing her home for the first time, huh.

Man: Oh, she’s an angel. You and your wife must be so thrilled.

Cameron:&nbsp;(enters)&nbsp;Sorry, sorry, sorry. Daddy needed snacks. Hi.&nbsp;(fumbles his way to his seat; granny and man look away uncomfortably)&nbsp;So, what are we talking about?

(Commentary)

Mitchell: Uh, we have been together for, guh, five- five years now? And, uh, we just, we decided we really wanted to have a baby, so we had initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate, but-

Cameron: Then we figured they’re already mean enough; can you imagine one of them pregnant?

Mitchell: Don’t think so.

Cameron: No, thank you. Ick.

(Cut back to scene)

Mitchell: You saw that, right? Everybody fawning over Lily, and then you walk on and suddenly it’s all “Oooh, SkyMall, I gotta buy a motorised tie rack.” Alright, you know, I’m- I’m gonna give a speech.

Cameron: You are not giving a speech.

Mitchell: Why?

Cameron: You’re gonna be stuck with these people for the next five hours.

Mitchell: You’re right, you’re right. Okay, I’m sorry.

Lady: Honey, honey, look at those babies with those cream puffs.

Mitchell: Okay, excuse me.&nbsp;(stands up)&nbsp;Excuse me, but this baby would’ve grown up in a crowded orphanage if it wasn’t for us cream puffs. And you know what? No, to all of you who judge-

Cameron: Mitchell…

Mitchell: -hear this: love knows no race, creed-

Cameron: Mitchell…

Mitchell: -or gender. And shame on you, you small-minded, ignorant few-

Cameron: Mitchell!

Mitchell: What?!

Cameron:&nbsp;(motions to cream puffs in Lily’s hands)&nbsp;She’s got the cream puffs.

Mitchell: Oh.

Cameron: …We would like to pay for everyone’s headsets.



Scene: Dunphy household

Phil: Buddy, why do you keep getting stuck like this?

Luke: I thought I could get out this time.

Alex: I’m just gonna say it: he needs to be checked by a specialist.

Phil:&nbsp;(frees Luke from banister)&nbsp;There. Be free, Excalibur.

Hayley: I’m having a friend over today.

Claire: Who?

Hayley: Uh, you don’t know him.

Claire: Him. Him?

Luke: Oooh, a boy. You’re gonna kiss-

Hayley: Shut up!&nbsp;(kids start arguing)

Phil: Easy, easy…

Claire: Luke, Alex, why don’t you take it outside, okay?

Alex: And do what?

Phil: Fight in the sun; it’ll be a nice change. I’m kidding.

Claire: Hayley. Who’s the boy?

Hayley: His name is Dylan. You know, I might as well just tell him not to come because you guys are just going to embarrass me again.

Claire: Sweety, hang on a second. You’re fifteen and it’s the first time you’ve had a boy over. I mean, I’m bound to be a little surprised, but… not embarrass you.

Phil: I better go charge the camcorder.&nbsp;(Hayley groans; turns around to leave)&nbsp;I’m kidding! Come on, who’re you talking to?

(Commentary)

Phil: I’m the cool dad. That’s- that’s my thang. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face? Um, you know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so…

(Cut to Phil performing High School Musical for his kids)

Phil:&nbsp;(singing)&nbsp;We’re all in this together. Yes we are, we’re all stars, something someth- and you know it.

(Cut back to scene)

Alex: Mom! Dad!

Claire: What happened?

Alex: Luke just shot me!

Luke: I didn’t mean to!

Claire: Are you okay?

Alex: No, the little bitch shot me!

Phil:&nbsp;(laughs)

Claire: Language!

Luke: They’re only plastic BBs. It was an accident.

Claire: What did I tell you would happen if you got him a gun? Deal with this.

Phil: Buddy, uncool.

Claire: …That’s it? That- no, no, no, no, no. The agreement was that if he shoots someone, you shoot him.

Phil: We were serious about that?

Claire: Yes we were, and now you have to follow through.

Luke:&nbsp;(starts crying)&nbsp;I’m so sorry!

Claire: Liar.

Luke:&nbsp;(stops)

Claire: Go.

Phil: He’s got a birthday party.

Alex: What’s more important here, dad?

Claire: You can shoot him afterwards. He’ll be home at two.

Phil: I can’t shoot him at two; I’m showing a house at two.

Alex: What about three?

Claire: No, he’s got a soccer game at three and then oh, we’ve gotta leave for that dinner thing at five.&nbsp;(checks calendar)&nbsp;Four fifteen. You could shoot him at four fifteen.

Phil: Yeah, I guess that works for me.

Luke: Aw…

Claire:&nbsp;(fills in calendar)&nbsp;“Shoot Luke.”

Phil: Sorry, buddy. It’s on the calendar.

Luke: Oh, come on.



Scene: After soccer match

Manny: I’m quitting soccer. It is a game for children.

Gloria: No, you’re not quitting. You would’ve stopped the goal if you weren’t staring at the little girl.

Manny: She’s not a girl. She is a woman.&nbsp;(both enter car)

Jay: You know, Gloria, that little blow-up with that other mom– why do you have to do things like that?

Gloria: If somebody says something about my family, I’m going to-

Jay: I don’t… I’m just saying you could take it down here a little bit, that’s all.

Gloria: Oh, yeah, ’cause that’s where you live – down here. But I live up here.

Jay: B-but you don’t have to be so emotional all the time. That’s all I’m saying. Manny, you’re with me on this one, right?

Manny: I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her.

Jay: Oh, for god’s sakes.

Gloria: Manny, she’s sixteen.

Manny: Oh, it’s okay for you to take an older lover?

Jay: Hey, watch it.

Manny: I wanna go to the mall where she works. But first I need to get my white shirt. The silk one.

Gloria: Okay. If that’s what you really want to do…

Jay: Seriously, not to be the evil stepdad, but if you put on a puffy white shirt and declare your love for a sixteen year old, you’re gonna be swinging from the flag pole in your puffy white underpants.

Manny: Stop the car!

Gloria: Where are you going?&nbsp;(Manny gets out)&nbsp;You see? You hurt his feelings.

Jay: Oh, well, if it toughens him up a little bit, then… geez, he’s picking flowers.

(Commentary)

Gloria: Manny’s very passionate. Just like his father. My first husband, he’s very handsome but too crazy. It seemed like all we did was fight and make love, fight and make love, fight and make love. One time – I’m not kidding you – we fell out the window together.

Jay: Which one were you doing? I’m hearing this for the first time.



Scene: Pritchett-Tucker household

Mitchell: This doesn’t worry you? She barely slept on the plane and she’s still wide awake.

Cameron: Oh, stop worrying.

Mitchell: But Cam, that… that orphanage, it was all women; maybe she just, she can’t fall asleep unless she feels a woman’s shape?

Cameron: Well, I guess that’s possible.

Mitchell: So here.&nbsp;(hands Lily to Cameron)

Cameron: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

(Commentary)

Cameron: Yes, I’ve gained a… few extra pounds while we were expecting the baby, which has been very difficult. But, apparently, your body does a nesting, very maternal, primal thing where it retains nutrients… some sort of molecular physiology thing. But that’s science. You can’t… you can’t fight it, so…

Mitchell: I’m not saying anything.

Cameron: You’re saying everything.

(Cut back to scene)

Mitchell: Count to three: one, tw-

Cameron: Three!&nbsp;(opens door to Lily’s room)

Mitchell: Okay.&nbsp;(they enter)&nbsp;Oh Cam. This is beautiful.

Cameron: Oh my god, do you love it?

Mitchell: Yes. I…&nbsp;(sees wall painting)&nbsp;What the hell is that?

Cameron: I had Andre do it while we were gone.

Mitchell: Is that us… with wings?

Cameron: We’re floating above her, always there to protect her.

Mitchell: Okay, well, that’s reassuring, right, Lily? Yes, we tore you away from everything you know, but don’t worry – things are normal here. Your fathers are floating fairies. No, can you call Andre? Have him paint something a little less… gay? By the way, we need to stop having friends with names like Andre.

Cameron: Red-headed daddy is angry daddy.

Mitchell: No, I’m not.

Cameron: Yes, you are. Even Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport.

Mitchell: Okay, that’s another one: Pepper. Yeah.

Cameron: Okay, what’s up?

Mitchell: Alright, look, I… I n- I never told my family we were adopting a baby.

Cameron: I know.

Mitchell: You do?

Cameron: Yeah, and I don’t blame you. I know your family: you tell them, they say something judgmental-

Mitchell: Exactly!

Cameron: You get mad-

Mitchell: I know, and then something that’s supposed to be nothing but joyful suddenly turns into this huge fight.

Cameron: And who wants a big, emotional scene like that?

Mitchell: Thank you, thank you. I’m so… I’m so relieved you understand.

Cameron: …I invited them over for dinner tonight.

Mitchell: …What?

Cameron: I had to. This would’ve gone on forever. You’re an avoider.

Mitchell: No, no, no, no. Cam, I’m calling them right now; I’m cancelling.

Cameron: No, you’re not. You’re telling your family you adopted a baby tonight. And you do have avoidance issues; even Langina said so.

Mitchell: Are you… are you really not hearing these names?







Scene: Dunphy household

(Doorbell rings)

Hayley: Don’t answer it; I’ll get it!&nbsp;(runs to door; Claire gets there first)

Claire: Hi! Hey, you must be Dylan.&nbsp;(shakes Dylan’s hand)

Dylan: Hey. Dylan, yeah.

Claire: I’m Hayley’s mother.

Hayley: Hey. Now let’s go.&nbsp;(leads Dylan upstairs)

Claire: Okay, um… hang on one second. Um… woah. Dylan, you’re still in high school?

Dylan: Yeah, I’m a senior.

Claire: A senior. Okay. Cool. Phil, sweety, honey… he is Dylan and he is a senior…&nbsp;(whispers)&nbsp;and you need to scare him.

Phil: Let me meet this playa. Phil Dunphy, yo.

(Commentary)

Phil: It’s like that. You just- you just stare down on them and let the eyes do the work. Your mouth might be saying, “Hey, we cool,” but your eyes are like, “No, we not.”&nbsp;(points to mouth)&nbsp;“Nice to meet you.”&nbsp;(points to eyes)&nbsp;“No, it’s not.”&nbsp;(points to mouth)&nbsp;“S’all good.”&nbsp;(points to eyes)&nbsp;“S’all&nbsp;(mumbles)&nbsp;isisn’t.”

(Cut back to scene)

Phil: Yo.

Dylan: Yo.

Hayley: Okay, I see you guys have-

Phil: Wait, wait, wait! You two… you two keep it real, know what I mean, son?

Dylan: Not really.

Hayley: Please stop.

Phil: That’s cool.&nbsp;(hand slips off stair rail)&nbsp;Ow! Oh god, that’s my back!

Claire: Sweetheart…

Phil: Ow! Oh, I slipped on the baby oil.

(Commentary)

Phil:&nbsp;(points to mouth)&nbsp;“Oh, where’re you from originally?”&nbsp;(points to eye)&nbsp;“I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation.”

(Cut back to scene)

Phil:&nbsp;(being carried by Dylan)&nbsp;Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Claire: I don’t know about this. Should I call a doctor?

Phil: No, no, no, no, no.&nbsp;You’re very strong, homes.

Dylan: Thanks.&nbsp;(places Phil on couch)

Phil: Okay, nice. Nice soft landing.

Dylan: There you go.

Hayley: Okay, let’s go.&nbsp;(she and Dylan leave)

Phil: I am on my side, though, so just flip me right back and we’re good. We’ll be good. I just need to get flipped right on my back, and we should be fine, so…



Scene: Shopping mall

Manny:&nbsp;(holding note and flowers)&nbsp;Brenda Feldman.

Gloria: What is that?

Manny: A poem I’ve written for Brenda Feldman.

Jay: Of course it is.

Manny: I put my thoughts into words, and now my words into action.

Jay: Hey, I’ll give you fifty bucks not to do this.

Manny: I’m eleven years old. What am I gonna do with money?

Jay: What are you gonna do with a sixteen-year-old?&nbsp;(Manny walks off)

Gloria: He’s like a bull fighter.

Jay: Mhhh. You ever see a bull fight? I can’t watch this.

Gloria: You’re in such a bad mood, and I know why. It’s because that man thought you were my father.

Jay: Nooo.

Gloria: Yeees.

Jay: Nooo.

Gloria: When you say no like that, it’s always yes. Come on, we’re in the mall. Let’s get you, like, some… younger clothes. There’s a store there, but I-

Jay: I don’t need any younger clothes. And I don’t care what some jackass in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me.

Gloria: Good. You shouldn’t. You should only care what I think. I love you and I don’t care how old you are. So stop being a gloomy goose and stop being so hard on Manny.

Jay: The only reason I’m hard on Manny is just because I don’t wanna see him make a fool of himself. And I can smell that hair goo of his from here.

Gloria: I don’t know what’s gonna happen to him over there. But you’re his family now, and that means only one thing: you be the wing in his back, not the spit in his face.

Jay: …What?

Gloria: Something my mom always says. It’s gorgeous in Spanish. Look, he’s there.

Manny: She has a boyfriend.

Gloria: Aw, I’m sorry, mi niño.

Manny: I gave her my heart; she gave me a picture of me as an all-time sheriff.

Gloria: Aw.

Manny: That was pretty stupid of me, wasn’t it?

Gloria: No, mi amor. It was brave, right, Jay? Brave.

Jay: Oh, well, you’ll know better next time. Let’s get a pretzel.&nbsp;(walks off)

Gloria:&nbsp;(says something in Spanish; she and Manny follow suit)

Officer:&nbsp;(to Jay)&nbsp;Oh, excuse me, sir. We ask that all mall walkers stay to the right.&nbsp;(bunch of old walkers in tracksuits similar to Jay’s walk past)

Jay:&nbsp;(sees them; enters store selling hip clothes)



Scene: Dunphy household

(Inside)

Hayley: Alex, get out! Mom!

Claire: Alex, leave your sister alone.

Alex: I was just getting my book, gosh.

Claire: I know, sweety, but you need to respect their privacy. What are they doing up there?

Alex: Nothing. Lying on the bed watching a movie.

Claire: …Okay. Okay. Um, I’m making a cake for tonight. Do you wanna help me with the frosting?

Alex: Sure. So, you know, if Hayley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she was mono for a few months, and then, like, tell everyone the baby is yours?

Claire: …What?

Alex: The senior at school was out sick for, like, four months, but… then a week later, she was breastfeeding at the corner of a carwash.

(Outside)

Phil: Buddy… what are you wearing?

Luke:&nbsp;(wearing multiple layers of clothing)&nbsp;Nothing.

Phil: Uh uh. No jacket, one hat. How many pairs of underwear do you have on?

Luke: One… ugh, six.

(Inside)

Alex: First of all, it would be really cool to see Hayley that fat, and how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother who’s really my nephew.

Claire: Hayley is not getting pregnant.

Alex: Just saying if.

Claire: I know. And I know you like to make trouble for your sister, but it’s not gonna work this time. You know why? ‘Cause your sister is a good girl. I know; I was just like her when I was…&nbsp;(walks off)

(Outside)

Phil: I want you to know: I’m not enjoying this, but this is an important lesson that you’re learning, so soak it, keep it.&nbsp;(aims BB gun at Luke)

Luke: You’re too close. It’s gonna hurt.

Phil: It’s supposed to hurt.

Luke: And why are you smiling?

Phil: I’m… what?

(Inside)

Claire:&nbsp;(climbs stairs and stands outside Hayley’s room)

(Outside)

Phil: Oh, forget it. I can’t do this. The point is you’re scared. I think you’ve learned your lesson-&nbsp;(BB gun goes off)&nbsp;Wow.

Luke: Ow!

(Inside)

Claire:&nbsp;(enters Hayley’s room)

Hayley: Mom? What are you doing?

Claire: Oh, hey. I was just, um, dropping off some laundry. Is this a bad time?

Hayley: Yeah.

Claire: Oh. Okay.&nbsp;(leaves)

Hayley: Can you shut the door, please?

Claire: Actually, we’re just gonna go ahead and leave that open.

Hayley: Why?

Claire: Because I have, uh, seen this little show before, lying on the bed with a tall senior. One moment you’re just friends watching&nbsp;Falcon Crest, and the next you’re lying under the air hockey table with your bra in your pocket.

Dylan: Woah…

Hayley: Mom!

(Outside)

Luke: You hit my bone!

Phil: It was an accident!

Luke: I thought you were my friend!

Phil: I&nbsp;am&nbsp;your friend!

Hayley: Dad! Dad! Dad, you have got to talk to mom. She’s, like, completely freaking out and embarrassing me!

Phil: Well, honey, your mom isn’t always as cool about things as I-&nbsp;(BB gun goes off)

Dylan: Ow!

Phil: What is with this thing?!&nbsp;(drops gun; gets shot in the leg)&nbsp;Ow!







Scene: Pritchett-Tucker household

(Commentary)

Mitchell: My dad… Uh, my dad still isn’t completely comfortable with… this. Um, he still does this thing – it’s been five years now – and he still does this thing where he announces himself before walking into any room we’re in, just to make sure he doesn’t ever have to see us kiss.

Cameron: Wish my mother had that system. Remember?

Mitchell: Not now.

(Cut back to scene)

Mitchell: I still can’t believe you did this to me.

Cameron: Would you get in the spirit of things? It’s a celebration.&nbsp;(doorbell rings)

Mitchell: Oh god.

Cameron: Okay. I’m gonna go get Lily ready. And I want you to just come straight out with it.

Mitchell: Alright.

Cameron: Okay? You can do this.&nbsp;(opens arms)&nbsp;Sports guy chest bump.

Mitchell: No.

Cameron: Sports guy chest bump.

Mitchell: Cam.

Cameron:&nbsp;(bumps Mitchell)&nbsp;Do it.

Mitchell: Alright, okay.

Cameron: Go.

Mitchell: Sorry.&nbsp;(takes deep breath; answers door)&nbsp;Hey!

Family: Hey!

Mitchell: How are you?&nbsp;(gets wine from Phil)&nbsp;Thank you.

Claire: Oh, don’t thank us. Open it; dad is coming right behind.&nbsp;(doorbell rings again)

Jay: We’re here! Coming in!

Mitchell: Don’t worry, dad. Nothing gay going on here. May I take your multi-coloured coat and bejewelled cap?

Jay: Yeah.

Phil: Hey, Jay.

Claire: Gloria, hi. How are you? Hi dad.

Phil: Hi Gloria. How are you? Oh, beautiful dress.

Gloria: Oh, thank you. Feel.

Phil: Okay.&nbsp;(starts feeling Gloria)

Claire: Phil. That’s how she says “Phil”. Not “feel”. “Phil”.

Phil: Oh.

Jay: So how was your trip?

Mitchell: It was good. It was good, actually, but, um, about that… I… I have something that I need to tell you guys. Um… uh, we didn’t just go to Vietnam for pleasure. We, uh… kinda have some big news.

Jay: Oh god, if Cam comes out here with boobs, I’m leaving.

Claire: Dad…

Hayley: I hope he didn’t embarrass you, mom.

Claire: Oh, don’t mind her. Hayley had her first boy over today and… Phil shot him.

Mitchell: …Anyway. Um… so about a year ago, Cam and I started feeling this longing, you know, for something more like, uh… maybe a baby?

Jay: Oooh, that’s a bad idea.

Mitchell: What do you mean “bad idea”?

Jay: Well, kids need a mother. I mean, if you two guys are bored, get a dog.

Mitchell: We’re not bored, dad.

Gloria: I support you, Mitchell, even though you’re not my son.

Claire: I-I-I think what dad is trying to say is that Mitchell, you’re a little uptight, kids bring chaos and you don’t handle it well.

Mitchell: Oh, uh, that’s not what dad is saying; that’s what you’re saying and it’s insulting in a whole different way.

Phil: Okay people, let’s all chillax.

Alex: Hey, where’s uncle Cameron?

Mitchell: Final- thank you. Thank you. Someone who’s not insulting me notices he’s not here.

Jay: Aaah, so that’s the big announcement, huh? You two broke up. Well, a baby wasn’t gonna help that anyway. And you know, let me tell you: you’re a lot better off because he was a bit of a drama queen.

Mitchell: Okay, no, no, no, stop! You come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend who, by the way, is not that dramatic and-&nbsp;(“Circle of Life” starts playing; lights dim)&nbsp;Oh god… (Cameron enters carrying Lily; holds her up as spotlight shines on her)&nbsp;We adopted a baby. Her name is Lily.

Cameron: Isn’t it exciting?

Mitchell: Just turn it off.

Cameron: I can’t turn it off; it’s who I am.

Mitchell: The music.

Cameron: Oh, yes, the music.&nbsp;(turns it off)&nbsp;Come say hi to Lily!&nbsp;(Family fawns over Lily; Jay stands from afar)

Phil: Lily. Isn’t that gonna be hard for her to say?

Jay: Um, excuse me. Okay, I-I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea, but, uh… what do I know? I mean, it’s not like I wrote the book on fatherhood. I’ve been trying all my life to get it right; I’m still screwing up. Right, Manny?

Manny: I wrote a song about it in the car.

Jay: Of course you did. Uh… anyway, I’m happy for you and, uh, you should know that, uh, I’m not here to spit in your face; I’m here to blow at your back.&nbsp;(family’s confused)&nbsp;It’s supposed to sound better in Spanish.

Gloria:(repeats quote in Spanish)

Cameron: Ah, that’s beautiful.

Jay: Anyhow, Mitch…

Mitchell: No, dad, it’s…&nbsp;(takes Lily)&nbsp;Do you wanna meet grandpa?

Jay: Are you kidding? She’s one of us now. Let me see your little podsticker. Hey! You’re a cutie, aren’t you? Ah.

(Commentary)

Jay:&nbsp;(reading Manny’s poem)&nbsp;“We’re from different worlds… yet we somehow fit together. Love is what binds us through fair and stormy weather. I stand before you now with only one agenda: to let you know my heart is yours, Feldman comma Brenda.”&nbsp;(laughs)&nbsp;I mean, seriously!

Phil: Luke so far, you know, hasn’t beaten me in basketball.

(Cut to Phil and Luke playing basketball)

Phil: It’s 2-0. It’s 2-0.&nbsp;(proceeds to score)

Phil:&nbsp;(after stopping Luke from scoring)&nbsp;Get that weak stuff out of my kitchen!

Phil: Do me a favour, just…&nbsp;(distracts Luke; scores)&nbsp;Boom! How’s the weather down there?

(Commentary)

Phil: But, when they day comes that he does win – if, you know, if, when… he beats me – I’m just gonna be like, “Well done, well done.” Just, like, let him, just support him and that kinda stuff. I mean, I’m probably gonna wanna go, like, two out of three and just see what happens there.

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Tags:&nbsp;alex dunphy,&nbsp;cameron tucker,&nbsp;claire dunphy,&nbsp;episode 1,&nbsp;gloria delgado-pritchett,&nbsp;hayley dunphy,&nbsp;jay pritchett,&nbsp;lily pritchett-tucker,&nbsp;luke dunphy,&nbsp;manny delgado-pritchett,&nbsp;mitchell pritchett,&nbsp;modern family,&nbsp;phil dunphy,&nbsp;pilot,&nbsp;quotes,&nbsp;season 1,&nbsp;transcripts

1 Response to "Season 1 Episode 1:&nbsp;“Pilot”"



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