Ensaio para S.
Autor: bianca pinheiro | Publicado: 2013-05-28T22:17:00-03:00


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O ônibus está cheio. Caminho pelo
corredor tentando me desvencilhar dos outros, sentindo minha pele úmida do
suor, respirando um ar abafado. É aí que um homem se levanta para seguir seu
trajeto, e o assento vazio está próximo de mim o suficiente para que eu possa
me sentar. Sinto alívio. Olho para a direita. Percebo que o passageiro ao meu
lado é um garoto jovem. Ele não deve ter lá uma idade muito diferente da sua;
arrisco uns 25 anos, apesar de nunca ter visto seu rosto. Ele não deve ter uma
altura muito diferente da sua; dá pra perceber que é um pouco mais alto que eu,
como você. E de repente, assim, do nada, me pego pensando em você, como
acontece com frequência. E o ônibus passa por asfaltos tortuosos e saculeja,
fazendo nossos ombros se tocarem, coreografando essa dança que desperta meu
inquieto pensamento. Já que não te tenho por perto, gosto de imaginar que eles
são você. Pego-me olhando para o seu ombro e desejando me recostar neles,
enquanto me abraça e me envolve e eu descanso meu rosto no seu pescoço,
sentindo sua pele e seu perfume e seu calor e me afogo e. Ah, sou tola por cair
nessas abstrações, bem sei, mas é que. Sei lá, só sei que te quero. E suas mãos
se movem e acabam chamando minha atenção. Não sei como são as suas, mas desejo
senti-las viajando pelo meu corpo, tocando cada centímetro de mim enquanto eu
estremeço e você me beija e eu estremeço de novo e mais. Sim, você me beija.
Quero seus lábios sobre e sob os meus, quero apertar meus dentes contra seus
lábios e puxá-los para mim porque te desejo. Quero sentir seu hálito, sua
respiração ofegar contra meu rosto, nossas línguas se tocarem num uníssono de
prazer. &nbsp;Mas a verdade é que ele não é
você. A verdade é que você está muito longe, a milhares de quilômetros de mim.
Mas não tão distante que eu não possa te sentir aqui, perto, pelo contrário. Te
sinto tão perto que você parece estar dentro de mim...