Blue balls
Autor: Breno Pessoa | Publicado: 2015-10-13T23:11:00-03:00


Não acredito em felicidade como um estado perene de
espírito; me parece algo essencialmente efêmero. A tristeza, por outro lado, se
revela muito mais constante e duradoura. 



Digo, não é como se me sentisse infeliz o tempo inteiro, mas
ter a infelicidade como constância é muito mais comum e alcançável do que uma
sensação prolongada de felicidade. Já passei meses me sentindo triste todos os
dias.&nbsp;Todo mundo tem um período assim.
Nunca escutei algo como “nossa, lembra aquele ano que eu passei plenamente
feliz?”.&nbsp; 



É algo parecido com um orgasmo, sabe? Não pareceria natural
ficar gozando o tempo todo. A felicidade me soa assim, mas não rápida nem
acessível à mão num momento de aperto. 



Talvez por encarar felicidade/infelicidade dessa maneira eu
tenha dificuldade em identificar quando estou particularmente triste e esse
estado se prolonga por mais tempo. Parece um engano perfeitamente normal não
saber se a apatia passou do limite e do tempo razoável, principalmente quando
você consegue se manter funcional na maior parte das horas. 



Parece uma vantagem conseguir tocar a vida ao mesmo tempo
que sua mente está em frangalhos, mas talvez isso só faça perder o foco da
coisa e deixar situação se deteriorar. 


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Acho que estou deprimido.