28 e 1/2
Autor: Vitória Frate | Publicado: 2013-02-18T11:39:00-03:00








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<!--StartFragment-->









De
repente levantei da cama, liguei a torneira do banheiro, me olhei no espelho e
levei um susto. Algo terrivelmente inaceitável havia acontecido. Aparecera bem
ali entre a&nbsp; bochecha e o nariz um
maldito bigode chinês!



Quando
será que ele tinha começado a aparecer? Será que eu estive assim tão distraída &nbsp;que simplesmente ignorei um evento de tão grande porte acontecendo ali no meio da minha cara?



Pensei
o impensável até então. Em paralisar a cara, o tempo, a vida. Em correr para a
primeira clínica cheia de agulhas, frequências e promessas simples para a
eterna felicidade. Onde a simples ideia de juventude pode ser o resumo da
felicidade em sí.



Fiquei
assim, entregue aos pensamentos mais absurdos que existem dentro da gente, que
brotavam na minha cabeça como gremlins excitados&nbsp; depois de um banho d’água, enquanto puxava e
amassava as minhas bochechas como que tentando acordar de um pesadelo que
sabe-se sonhado.



E
como em um raio me veio um sorriso. Talvez pelo medo de agulhas ou pela angústia
do tempo parado, ponderei um pouco. Se aquela pequena marca fosse um sinal do
que tenho vivido, talvez pudesse ser motivo de orgulho e não de se deixar pasmado.



Uma
lembrança para todo o tempo de todas as coisas preciosas que aprendi ontem a
noite, e na noite antes da de ontem e na outra mais distante ainda.&nbsp; A certeza de que o medo de não saber o que
querer, não fazia mais sentido, porque sem o medo tudo se pode fazer. 



A
certeza de que só sendo eu mesma, sem querer ser mais ninguém ou menos alguém
era a única maneira de ser. E sendo assim, tudo o que me restava era juntar &nbsp;as
minhas dúvidas, defeitos, rugas e angústias como um tesouro só meu. Como se sem
eles eu jamais deixaria de ser triste, pois não me reconheceria.



Pensei
que as angústias em relação ao futuro e os grandes passos ainda distantes que me fiz prometer
dar eram boas, desde que olhadas de longe e mantendo a capacidade de,&nbsp;&nbsp;quando preciso, saber as ignorar. 



Hoje,
levantei da cama, liguei a torneira do banheiro e levei um susto. No espelho,
o&nbsp; fundo daqueles olhos &nbsp;me olhava de uma forma muito diferente da de
ontem de manhã, e da outra manhã mais distante.&nbsp;
Vi alguém que deixara de se &nbsp;buscar
no passado, para enxergar a imensidão sem forma nem nome de tudo aquilo que
ainda está por vir.
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