SÓ VAI
Autor: Ornella | Publicado: 2016-03-15T05:44:00-07:00





Sou cheia de cicatrizes, mas quem não é? 

Posso perdoar mentiras, traições e abandonos, mas não
esqueço.

Você saiu da minha vida no momento que mais precisei. Me deixou
em uma casa que até então eu não fazia parte, com uma família que por convenção
era minha, mas que eu não considerava. 

Eu gritei, pedi, implorei, rastejei por você, mas ir atrás
de um amor que não lhe queria era mais importante do que aceitar o incondicional
que eu tinha para dar. Mal sabe quantas noites chorei por tua ausência.

&nbsp;Que até hoje choro.

&nbsp;Por não ter tido a
referência, porque não se abandona uma pequena, por todos os danos psicológicos
que você me deixou, por não permitir que ninguém se aprofunde em minha vida,
por todos esses sete anos de terapia que me fez frequentar. 

Eu ainda fui atrás, por muitos anos corri por migalhas de
amor, onde uma semana ao ano a palavra “fingir” se tornava ordem. Você fazia
carinho, almoço onde eu me enganava ao acreditar sermos família, onde eu tinha
plena convicção que aquilo poderia ser eterno, eu apostava todas as minhas fichas
achando que dali em diante eu voltaria a ter mãe. 

Cresci.

Entendi que nunca tive.&nbsp;

Nunca tive a mulher da minha vida.
Aquela coisa de “conselho de mãe” “colo de mãe” “abraço de mãe” “amor de mãe”?
Não me foi dado. Eu acreditei no fingimento, porque com você sempre foi assim, interesse
mútuo. Eu clamando pelo sentimento e você pelo material.



Agora não venha querer correr atrás do tempo perdido. Eu não
preciso mais dessa fantasia. 

Não quero.

Me nego.

Sou grossa, grito como criança mimada, bato o pé, ordeno que
saia da minha vida.

Não peço muito, só que me deixe.

Porque eu sei que não sou eu quem lhe faz falta. Porque eu
vejo que o brilho dos teus olhos é mais intenso ao ouro.


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  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
   Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
  
  
  
  
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
   Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
   Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
 
<![endif]-->

<!--[if gte mso 10]>

 /* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
 {mso-style-name:"Tabela normal";
 mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
 mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
 mso-style-noshow:yes;
 mso-style-priority:99;
 mso-style-parent:"";
 mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
 mso-para-margin:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
 mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
 font-size:12.0pt;
 font-family:Calibri;
 mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

<![endif]-->



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E a cada abraço eu vejo aquela menina caída no portão ao te
ver partir.