A Era do Romantismo Enrustido
Autor: Mari May | Publicado: 2013-08-03T19:21:00-03:00


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&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; De uns tempos
pra cá, é comum nos depararmos com “profecias” sobre um suposto fim do romantismo,
certamente iniciado na revolução sexual dos anos 60 com o advento da pílula
anticoncepcional e as pregações sobre o “amor livre”: relacione-se com quem
quiser, quando quiser, como quiser. Você não precisa estar ligado
sentimentalmente a uma pessoa para permitir contatos mais íntimos, incluindo o
sexo - &nbsp;afinal, os riscos de engravidar
diminuíram drasticamente. O corpo é seu, a consciência é sua, a
responsabilidade é sua. 



Porém...




Isso
não foi o suficiente para acabar de vez com os sonhos românticos.



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Na verdade, o que observo na maioria
das pessoas é: sim, elas querem ter suas experiências, mesmo apenas “casuais”,
movidas apenas a atração física, mas no fim almejam encontrar alguém para
casar. Ou “morar junto” (o que é um casamento não oficializado). Enfim, de um
jeito ou de outro, querem alguém especial para passar o resto da vida (ou, pelo
menos, tentar passar, na filosofia do “que seja eterno enquanto dure”). E
ninguém, com raras exceções, casa por livre e espontânea vontade com quem não
ama, ou acredita amar, certo?



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; A grande questão é: a facilidade
para arranjar parceiros para relações descompromissadas fez com que o
compromisso fosse mais valorizado. Porque veja bem: se antigamente casar era
praticamente uma “regra”, uma convenção social, e muitas vezes a ponte para um
status mais elevado, casava-se nem que fosse arranjado. O importante era “se
garantir”, havendo ou não sentimento envolvido. Contatos mais íntimos? Apenas
com compromisso, fosse de namoro ou noivado, principalmente para as “moças de
família”. Perder a virgindade antes de casar era, teoricamente, impensável.
Acontecia, mas as pressões sociais e religiosas prevaleciam e condenavam quem
fugisse às regras.



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Pois bem: as pessoas tanto lutaram,
e tanto protestaram, que conseguiram a tal liberdade para usar o corpo como bem
quiser, cada qual com seus limites e conceitos do que é ser “cafajeste” ou “vadia”.
E chegamos ao que ganhou o nome de rolo/ficar/affair: uma espécie de “pré-namoro”, com um certo grau de
intimidade determinado pelo casal, onde os envolvidos vão se conhecendo melhor
e,&nbsp; caso seja de mútuo interesse, firmam
o compromisso do namoro.



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Mas por que a palavra “compromisso”
parece causar tanta aversão? Justamente porque, hoje em dia, é raro alguém
desejar um, se envolver em um, e manter-se em um. Se bens materiais são
efêmeros e facilmente trocados, o mesmo ocorre nas relações humanas: é mais
fácil dizer que “enjoou” e não tem mais jeito do que dar outra chance, do que
tentar consertar o que se quebrou. Para que “perder tempo” com tanta gente
disponível no “mercado”? Tal pensamento remete ao da “perda da liberdade”: vale
a pena investir numa única pessoa quando se poderia estar livre, leve e solto
tendo experiências com mais de uma, muitas vezes num curto período de tempo?



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; É aí que começa o dilema de tantos
homens e mulheres. Cabe a cada um refletir sobre o que mais deseja, tanto a
curto quanto a longo prazo, e seus conceitos sobre o que seria abrir mão e o
que seria investir.



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Nas minhas reflexões, concluí que as
pessoas não têm tanto medo do compromisso em si, mas do que leva a ele: os
sentimentos. 



Mais
precisamente, o amor. 



As
pessoas têm medo de amar porque têm medo das consequências ruins que isso pode
trazer. E, evitando amar, evitam-se as chances de conseguir um relacionamento
sério. Ou seja, mesmo que se queira compromisso, o medo de entregar o coração faz
com que muitos se fechem para tal. E, quanto mais decepções no campo afetivo, menos
se arrisca. E quem ainda se arrisca se torna praticamente uma aberração aos
olhos de quem desistiu (ou desanimou) com o amor.



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Vejo que muitos adolescentes,
principalmente os mais novos, são ridicularizados ao exporem seus sentimentos
amorosos. Aqueles que se consideram “mais vividos” duvidam da intensidade do
que eles sentem, por mais que estejam felizes ou sofrendo. Mas quer saber?
Mesmo que em muitos casos pareça exagero, eu admiro essa coragem de se entregar
ao que sente, pois acho que, com o passar do tempo, vamos perdendo tal coragem,
e ouvir histórias sobre um amor puro, verdadeiro e duradouro começa a parecer
ilusão, utopia, ladainha.



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Claro que, com isso, não estou defendendo
quem conhece alguém há poucos dias e já espalha que encontrou seu “amor eterno”,
ou quem fica a ponto de morrer quando um relacionamento acaba (e, só pra
constar, isso ocorre entre adolescentes e adultos). Enfim, não me refiro ao
contexto, pois este pode ser algo saudável ou não. Me refiro aos sentimentos em
si. Valorizá-los. Vivê-los plenamente. Parar de achar que suprir as vontades
carnais é mais importante do que suprir as vontades emocionais inerentes a
qualquer ser humano. Porque, no fundo, todos gostariam de ter aquele
relacionamento único, que o deixe à vontade, confortável, sem medo de entregar
o coração. Numa confiança e cumplicidade que só se consegue com um mínimo de
convivência e investimento.



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Não vou negar que, devido às minhas
experiências particulares, uma onda de pessimismo me atingiu. Não a ponto de
desistir de vez de encontrar alguém especial, mas a ponto de achar que talvez
isso seja difícil, e talvez demore. Ao mesmo tempo, fui conhecendo ou acompanhando
casos que me mostraram que, sim, ainda vale a pena acreditar no amor.



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Nem toda pessoa fria é insensível, e
nem toda pessoa insensível é fria. Mas se tornar frio ou insensível em relação
ao amor não é, necessariamente, sinal de maturidade. É sinal de que o tempo
trouxe determinadas situações que criaram uma armadura em torno do coração. Porém,
não é impossível que surja alguém capaz de tirar essa armadura. Só será
impossível se deixarmos.



&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Todos querem amar. 



Todos
precisam de amor. 



Mas
o medo e a descrença podem impedir que muitos amores sejam vividos.
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<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>

 /* Style Definitions */
 table.MsoNormalTable
 {mso-style-name:"Tabela normal";
 mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
 mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
 mso-style-noshow:yes;
 mso-style-priority:99;
 mso-style-qformat:yes;
 mso-style-parent:"";
 mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
 mso-para-margin:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
 mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
 font-size:11.0pt;
 font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
 mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
 mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
 mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
 mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}

<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
  
  
 
<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>

 /* Style Definitions */
 table.MsoNormalTable
 {mso-style-name:"Tabela normal";
 mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
 mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
 mso-style-noshow:yes;
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 mso-style-qformat:yes;
 mso-style-parent:"";
 mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
 mso-para-margin:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
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 font-size:11.0pt;
 font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
 mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
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 mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}

<![endif]-->