Autor: Anetais | Publicado: 2013-02-08T17:39:00-08:00

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<![endif]-->Naquela noite eu tive a certeza, a certeza de que era ele quem eu gostaria que estivesse ao meu lado pra sempre. Naquela noite eu sorri, e vi o quanto seriamos felizes se estivéssemos juntos. Eu desejei voltar atrás e nunca o ter conhecido para não sentir tanto a sua falta. Ah, como eu desejei nunca o ter amado... Porem, o amava e amava de uma forma inexplicável. Eu queria olhar em seus olhos e dizer o quanto eu precisava dele, o quanto minha vida não fazia sentido sem sua presença. Mas não, eu nunca digo, eu nunca falo às coisas que eu realmente gostaria de dizer.  Naquela noite eu também senti raiva, raiva por sentir o que sinto. Raiva por suportar o que suporto. Deus, eu sou dura, uma pedra praticamente quando o assunto são outras pessoas, outros sentimentos. Mas quando se trata dele, eu sou tão vulnerável, tão sem ação. Por quê? Eu me pergunto por que só com ele a situação fica sem controle, porque só com ele eu não penso nas conseqüências, só com ele eu sorrio daquele jeito, durmo daquele jeito, sonho daquele jeito.  Ainda acho injusto que tanto amor seja desperdiçado dessa maneira, ainda acho que um dia vou me arrepender por ter depositado tanto amor em apenas uma pessoa. No entanto, não sou de controlar sentimentos, tão pouco os compreender. Sabe, eu vou continuar vivendo como sempre fiz, como sempre acabo fazendo... Esses dias uma amiga me mostrou um trecho de um texto que falava sobre uma pessoa que sempre tem carta branca com a gente, aquela pessoa que vai e volta, vai mais uma vez e volta outras mil. Acho que ele é essa pessoa, eu nunca vou conseguir dizer vá embora pra sempre. Porque se ele fosse para sempre eu não saberia o que fazer, eu não conseguiria suportar essa ausência. Porque ele é parte mim, ou um todo de mim. Um todo meio torto, meio errado, mas um todo que se encaixa perfeitamente em mim!