Devaneios meus
Autor: Eliane Barion | Publicado: 2011-08-10T21:21:00-07:00

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Eletrizante, eu inteira.   &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Acordei, tomei uma garrafa de vinho, deitei-me a girar nos meus pensamentos  Penso que estou cada vez mais viva, sinto-me cada vez mais morta  &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Genialidades, devaneios meus. &nbsp;Eu não sou pintor, dizia Michelângelo, eu não sou pintor.  Lambuzo-me com a tinta alva do meu sangue, tenho a alma lavada de gritos e sussuros,  &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Ouço a voz do silêncio, vejo o escuro,   Na imensidão de meus pensamentos, sinto que as palavras saltam da minha boca, procuro o silêncio, grito o barulho...   Duvido se estou em momentos de solidão, revolta, tensão. Acredito. Eis que me acalmo aqui, diante do meu leito, tentando encontrar solução para meu drama. É um drama frio, amedrontador. Tudo isso sou eu, ninguém me faz mal, eu mesma me faço mal. Me faço mal quando sou fraca, quando fico aqui com medo e me faço muito mal quando a culpa aparece, a culpa de algo que não tinha que existir.Que arrepio que dá, que sensação estranha essa. Me perguntaram se eu tinha medo de alguma coisa. Eu respondi:&nbsp; - Sim.&nbsp; E indagaram-me &nbsp;uma segunda vez: &nbsp;- &nbsp;Você tem medo de que?&nbsp; E, assim, completei: - Tenho medo de ser tão fraca a ponto de não tentar.