Sereno Ano Novo
Autor: Sérgio Lima Nastasi | Publicado: 2013-01-19T17:39:00-02:00



























Para a minha irmãzinha Beatriz
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SERENO. Adj.
1. Calmo, tranquilo, manso, sossegado.

&nbsp;2. Que denota
serenidade, paz, tranquilidade de espírito.

&nbsp;3. Limpo de nuvens;
claro, límpido. 

4. Tênue vapor atmosférico, noturno; redento. 

5. Chuva fina e pouco duradoura.



AURÉLIO 









&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Lívia prendia a asa da xícara entre o miúdo dedo
indicador e o polegar. Olhava para o irmão, que fazia o mesmo ali em frente, e
com vontade de lembrar-se de alguma historieta muito antiga, quase lagrimou, pois
ninguém, nenhum de seus namorados conheceu tão bem os movimentos desses olhos quanto
ele. Se caíssem devagar até o fim, é porque ficaria sem palavras no minuto
seguinte; se subissem em diagonal até por cima das lentes, é porque iria rir do
que acabou de dizer com muita seriedade. Lívia a tudo sinalizava com olhares
antes de aprontar e seu irmão tinha o mapa completo desses traçados,
detalhadamente cartografados pela memória mais amável que possuía, a mais
terna de todas.






­&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; — Vi, já tenho quarenta e três e dores na
coluna. Ontem corri na praça perto de uma menininha que se parecia com a
Dominique. Você me livrou da Dominique, Vi. Semana passada o Haroldo me contou que ela morreu naquele
acidente de avião em Guarulhos. Fiquei triste, enchi a cara e dizem que quase fui
atropelado ao sair do bar, não enxerguei o carro e acho que foi o Roberto que me
deixou em casa. Embora fosse picareta, eu gostava dela... Engraçado isso, eu
poderia morrer no mesmo dia e não seria uma coincidência, apenas uma consequência
da notícia, um complemento que levaria o acréscimo: “Ex-namorado é encontrado
morto na Zona Norte”. Nem colocariam meu nome, morreria, então, com esse título
e ainda diriam que não foi um carro a me matar, mas a saudade.






&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; — Já procurou um médico para ver essa coluna, Levi?






&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Quando disse, não restava nem mais uma gota de
café em sua xícara, dava até para ler a inscrição que figurava no fundo com
a data de fabricação. Mil novecentos e noventa e sete. Foi o ano em que se
separou do Pedro, um primo distante de uma amiga igualmente distante.






&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; — Uma vez fui ao teatro com ela. Sim, entrei num
teatro com a Dominique. Começava com um triste monólogo de um palhaço e havia
luzes sobre a plateia, algo como um pisca-pisca em cada rosto. Você estava lá,
loirinha, multicolorida, e talvez estivesse infeliz por conta da separação. Também
fiquei decepcionado com aquilo tudo, com as brigas em casa, com os copos
quebrados, com o soco que eu queria dar nele e você entrou na frente. Ele pedia desculpas todos os dias... O Haroldo dizia: “desculpas não me comovem”, e passei a usar esta frase com ela. Às vezes
passávamos dias inteiros sem conversar, porém essa frase ora ressoava, ora ficava
na reserva, era uma defesa que eu não poderia perder, pois eu vencia a dizer
aquilo. “Disse que não te amava porque estava com febre”. Desculpas não me
comovem, Dominique.






&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; — Por que você está tão amargo hoje?






&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; — Sempre foi mania da nossa família recordar
tragédias antes de alguém viajar. Levo você ao aeroporto, Vi, sem problemas, e
não falo mais da Dominique até chegarmos, não falo mais daquela noite no teatro
em que você chorava baixinho e me partiu o coração ao vê-la desorientada como
um pássaro que não sabe mais o que fazer quando, por descuido, deixam a gaiola
aberta. Mas por que não desci para te dar um abraço?






&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; — Porque você estava muito amargo, Levi.






&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Ouviram, pouco depois, algumas buzinadas e
pessoas a gritar. Sentiram que há frases que perturbam seus próprios falantes,
mobilizam, deixam em xeque, arriscam a última nota. Talvez não fosse belo
encerrar essa conversa ao som de automóveis e partir sem comentários alegres. Lívia
ainda queria lembrar-se de uma história antes de abraçar o irmão e voar, contudo
nada despontava nos dois e o silêncio reinava dentro de suas cabeças. Os dedos de
Levi já provavam certa aflição por não dominarem um cigarro há quase meia-hora.
A abstinência causava-lhe cócegas nas mãos, além da vontade de comentar
passados melancólicos, acrescentar notas à medida que necessitava dar
explicações mais convincentes sobre tudo o que fizera, sobre o porquê de não ter
aberto a porta quando Dominique o visitara pela última vez ou a respeito da
razão pela qual ele não atendera ao telefone que fez soar uma campainha
irritante por longos trinta e dois minutos.






&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; — Quando éramos pequenos em casa, o cheiro de
Ano Novo durava até o começo de abril. Impregnava os móveis, os talheres, os
tapetes e, claro, as nossas roupas. Todos os meus vestidos tinham esse cheiro,
impossível livrar-se dele antes de abril, e você dava as minhas bijuterias para
as suas primeiras namoradas.






&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; — E você sabia disso?






&nbsp; &nbsp; — Sim. A Laura me devolveu uma pulseira, aí você
a roubou novamente para presentear a Lúcia.






&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Pela primeira vez estavam a rir e a perguntar-se
quem iria pedir perdão primeiro, embora não tivessem culpa, pois foi a rota voraz do viver, do simples
viver, que disparou esses irmãos para linhas distantes e tratou assim de
colocá-los em planos-sequência distintos. Perceberam que a vida possui
múltiplas vozes, mas nenhuma parece disposta a contradizê-la na íntegra. Finalmente
estavam a rir e a apertar as mãos com tamanha firmeza que o amor, sempre
inexplicável, converteu-se em tímidas lágrimas e deixou o ar muito mais sereno.