Legítima Defesa
Autor: Helena  | Publicado: 2016-10-28T14:52:00-02:00





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Abaixo o volume, ou desligo. Não me toque, fique longe. Apague a luz. Odores, só aqueles do passado, das memórias. Pão assando no forno à lenha da padaria da vila, calda de caramelo derretida no fogão caseiro, bolo assando em fim de tarde. 



Minha posição preferida é a fetal. Meu lugar preferido é meu quarto isolado, no escuro, silencioso e inodoro. Desconecto do mundo, reconecto em mim. 



Os melhores dias foram os mais simples. Viver o amanhecer, o entardecer e o anoitecer, em ritmo marcado, em compasso constante, eram os únicos compromissos urgentes. As coisas nunca davam certo. Mas, até os erros eram intrínsecos. Natureza que me atravessava sem imposições. 



Minto... Tudo sempre foi imposto, desde a concepção. Liberdade é uma fantasia imposta na recusa do exterior, quando os erros me invadem pelos sentidos, construindo morada em mim. 



Fantasia da fantasia foi me apartar de você. Se a esperança é última que morre, ela mata. É a assassina potencial de eus. Sábio enfraquecê-la até minguá-la, a esperança. Condição de sobrevivência para quem precisou apartar-se de você. Eu sempre soube, apartei-me. E não tive dúvidas: homicídio em legítima defesa. 



Enquanto você acredita que traí sua confiança, que lhe faltei com lealdade, apenas posso dizer: a esperança morreu e eu sobrevivi em posição fetal.


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