♥ Eliete por ela mesma... 12
Autor: Greiceinha | Publicado: 2013-02-22T15:49:00-08:00







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05/04/87. Eu estou com medo, não sei dizer o porquê, meu Deus ninguém me
entende, acham que eu só devo chorar se sentir dor física, talvez a outra doa
muito mais, eu quero ficar sozinha, ninguém deixa, acham que devo ficar
sorrindo direto, droga eu não tenho porque fazer isso, não vejo motivos, no meu
estado se eu pudesse mais era dormir dois ou três meses e esquecer essa vida
dolorosa. Meu Deus, como eu gostaria que isso fosse um pesadelo e eu acordasse,
bem que já está na hora. As pessoas chegam pra mim e dizem: você é isso, é
aquilo outro, você pode, é capacitada... Droga, eu não gosto disso, detesto
mesmo fora de hora, se eu pudesse mandava tudo pro inferno e diria: eu sei que
sou capaz, será que precisa todo mundo me lembrar isso?



Eu caí num poço sem fundo e muito escuro, só o tempo pode me tirar dele,
certo que eu posso ajudar, porém é muito pouco, ninguém entende isso. Sabe o
que é você ter vontade de chorar e alguém te dizer ‘não chora não’, você pensa
que está em casa?



06/05/87. Não passei nada bem hoje, tive ânsia de vômito o dia todo e não
consegui comer nada. Estou simplesmente fraca e abatida. As tais muletas estão
virando um inferno, tentei me equilibrar nelas novamente e ‘catapum’, ia caindo
novamente, o pior é que Elizete estava perto e nem se preocupou em me segurar,
dei um grito, berrei bem meia hora de raiva, enchi os olhos de lágrimas, joguei
as tais no chão e as mandei pro inferno, droga, estou cheia.



Já estava chateada e recebi a notícia de que Marquinhos ligou pra mim,
isso piorou a situação. Não, não que eu deixe de ficar contente por ele se
interessar com meu estado de saúde, é que essa é a segunda vez que ele me liga
dentro de uma semana, enquanto o meu grande namorado só me ligou uma vez dentro
de um mês, poxa eu devia mandar esse cretino tomar banho antes que ele faça
comigo. Ah, isso é porque ele gosta de mim, imagine se não gostasse. Sabe,
desde que eu estou aqui que ele não me escreveu uma linha sequer, eu devia
esquecê-lo, não acha? Poxa, eu queria pelo menos ouvir um “eu gosto de você”,
talvez ele esteja economizando palavras também.