Uma relação bem gramatical
Autor: Professora Juliane Dias | Publicado: 2012-10-11T06:38:00-07:00

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Redação feita por uma aluna do curso de Letras da UFMG que
venceu um concurso interno promovido pelo professor titular da cadeira de
Gramática portuguesa:
&nbsp;




&nbsp; 

“Era a terceira vez que aquele
substantivo e aquele artigo se encontravam no elevador. Um substantivo
masculino, com um aspecto plural, com alguns anos bem vividos pelas preposições
da vida. E o artigo era bem definido, feminino, singular: era ainda novinha,
mas com um maravilhoso predicado nominal.



Era ingênua, silábica, um pouco
átona, até ao contrário dele: um sujeito oculto, com todos os vícios de
linguagem, fanáticos por leituras e filmes ortográficos. O substantivo gostou
dessa situação: os dois sozinhos, num lugar sem ninguém ver e ouvir. E sem
perder essa oportunidade, começou a se insinuar, a perguntar, a conversar.



O artigo feminino deixou as
reticências de lado, e permitiu esse pequeno índice. De repente, o elevador
pára, só com os dois lá dentro: ótimo, pensou o substantivo, mais um bom motivo
para provocar alguns sinônimos. Pouco tempo depois, já estavam bem entre
parênteses, quando o elevador recomeça a se movimentar: só que em vez de
descer, sobe e pára justamente no andar do substantivo. Ele usou de toda a sua
flexão verbal, e entrou com ela em seu aposto.



Ligou o fonema, e ficaram alguns
instantes em silêncio, ouvindo uma fonética clássica, bem suave e gostosa.
Prepararam uma sintaxe dupla para ele e um hiato com gelo para ela. Ficaram
conversando, sentados num vocativo, quando ele começou outra vez a se insinuar.



Ela foi deixando, ele foi usando
seu forte adjunto adverbial, e rapidamente chegaram a um imperativo. Todos os
vocábulos diziam que iriam terminar num transitivo direto.

Começaram a se aproximar, ela
tremendo de vocabulário, e ele sentindo seu ditongo crescente: se abraçaram,
numa pontuação tão minúscula, que nem um período simples passaria entre os
dois. Estavam nessa ênclise quando ela confessou que ainda era vírgula; ele não
perdeu o ritmo e sugeriu uma ou outra soletrada em seu apóstrofo. É claro que
ela se deixou levar por essas palavras, estava totalmente oxítona às vontades
dele, e foram para o comum de dois gêneros.



Ela totalmente voz passiva, ele
voz ativa. Entre beijos, carícias, parônimos e substantivos, ele foi avançando
cada vez mais: ficaram uns minutos nessa próclise, e ele, com todo o seu
predicativo do objeto, ia tomando conta.



Estavam na posição de primeira e
segunda pessoa do singular, ela era um perfeito agente da passiva, ele todo
paroxítono, sentindo o pronome do seu grande travessão forçando aquele hífen
ainda singular. Nisso a porta abriu repentinamente. Era o verbo auxiliar do
edifício. Ele tinha percebido tudo, e entrou dando conjunções e adjetivos nos
dois, que se encolheram gramaticalmente, cheios de preposições, locuções e
exclamativas. Mas ao ver aquele corpo jovem, numa acentuação tônica, ou melhor,
subtônica, o verbo auxiliar diminuiu seus advérbios e declarou o seu particípio
na história.



Os dois se olharam, e viram que
isso era melhor do que uma metáfora por todo o edifício. O verbo auxiliar se
entusiasmou e mostrou o seu adjunto adnominal. Que loucura, minha gente. Aquilo
não era nem comparativo: era um superlativo absoluto. Foi se aproximando dos
dois, com aquela coisa maiúscula, com aquele predicativo do sujeito apontado
para seus objetos. Foi chegando cada vez mais perto, comparando o ditongo do
substantivo ao seu tritongo, propondo claramente uma mesóclise-à-trois. Só que
as condições eram estas: enquanto abusava de um ditongo nasal, penetraria ao
gerúndio do substantivo, e culminaria com um complemento verbal no artigo
feminino.



O substantivo, vendo que poderia
se transformar num artigo indefinido depois dessa, pensando em seu infinitivo,
resolveu colocar um ponto final na história: agarrou o verbo auxiliar pelo seu
conectivo, jogou-o pela janela e voltou ao seu trema, cada vez mais fiel à
língua portuguesa, com o artigo feminino colocado em conjunção coordenativa
conclusiva.”