Manual: How to Deal with a IchiOri Vol.1
Autor: Nanda-chan | Publicado: 2011-04-07T19:57:00-07:00

Authoring: IaMela
Translation:Lyra

Our dear IchiRuki did a hilarious and excellent guide, it's worth reading \o/

And if you IchiOri are looking at the blog, you can cry in the bathroom, but please try not to wet the floor!

This is a small guide for dealing with stupid things that IchiOris talking without you get too tired.

When a IchiOri told you we wanted IchiRuki just because of Ichigo:
1st: Laugh a lot.
2nd: Say that at least we care about the protagonist, unlike some IchiOris.
3rd: Tell IchiOri calmly for not traumatize him, that he has just said that Ichigo likes Rukia.
4th: And then laughed even more from his face XDDD

He is making a huge speech on how Inoue is this and that. Do four things:
1st: Find a hobby. I recommend you always walk with crossword puzzles in his pocket. If not, sing songs IchiRukis mentally.
2nd: Once IchiOri stop talking and look at you with that irritating face of superiority and ask: "See, they are perfect together." Answer: No, I did not. "And smiles cynically. But do not stop there.
3rd: Look into the eyes of IchiOri and say, "Yes, she will love him for five lifetimes. And Ichigo?"
4th: Enjoy the trollface from IchiOri XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 

A IchiOri says that Ichigo and Orihime got together because she turned him into Ichigo FromHell.
1st: Facepalm basic. You will need to go beyond the impatience of some form, and hit the IchiOri will come to nothing, just a case of assault. IchiOris are spoiled children which, if they take spanking, just cry louder.
2nd: Take a deep breath and say, "Yeah, he turned into a bloodthirsty monster who came out throwing her face down, massacring the Ulquiorra and passing the knife on Ishida. What a beautiful proof of love. "
3rd: He will surely argue that this was to save her from the guy that terrified her. Facepalm again. Avoid processes.
4th: Remind the IchiOri that Orihime if shit scared of Ichigo's hollow form. And finally have fun with IchiOri desperately change the subject.

A IchiOri says that Ichigo and Orihime will be together because she will love him for five lifetimes:
1st: Have patience. As the scenes IchiHime are the rarest than a chapter of Bleach that has no blood, is normal that they stay performing word by word to the Theory have at least half the size of a theory IchiRuki.
2nd: Ask: "And after five lifetimes she comes out picking up overall? "And make the most innocent face as you can. This will be the cherry of the cake, even if your desire is to laugh a lot!
3rd: When he says, "Inoue said only five as symbolic number. She will love him forever! "
4th: Continue with the innocent face and ask, "Then why did not she say so?" And he will answer which was to let the statement more poetic, and that this is another indication IchiOri, that Inoue is perfect and blah blah blah.
5th: Open a beautiful and radiant smile and when the IchiOri smile thinking that convinced you, ask: "And Ichigo? " and release the laughter that is stuck.
Ps.: There is a probability of IchiOri quit in the second step. But it is small because they are highly obstinate. &nbsp;For when you are discussing theories on a topic on the net with a IchiOri.
1st: Have fun watching him curse the analysis and say that the author does not know anything. Do nothing, the time for action comes later.
2nd: How did he not find a decent way to argue against, he will begin a discussion of how dumb are IchiRukis and how IchiHimes are above the good, the bad and the manga artist. Yes, this is the time.
3rd: Send the following message: "Dear, correct me if I'm wrong, but that I have perceived here is for discuss the manga and not complain about how some fans which can not condemn the majority, act. At least I think. "
4th: Two choices: Or the IchiOri will be playfully angry making you laugh out loud with the arguments fail that he'll get God knows where, or the net of him will mysteriously fall. =)

A IchiOri says that Ichigo and Inoue will be together because he and Rukia are friends.
1st: This time start attacking. Ask: "And kiko?"And do not forget to make a speech. It may be innocent, for make things funnier, or of boredom à la Byakuya, to give a sophisticated and a bit of superiority. But nothing to be snooty huh?
2nd: He will answer with a cliché: "The Kubo never spoil their friendship."
3rd: The perfect argument will be: "And if you give IchiOri their friendship will go to space?" Keep the expression.
4th: And IchiOri after breaking a little the head will say: "Their friendship is not so strong."
5th: Smile quietly, take a look of a mother looking for a baby and say, 'Why do Ichigo would be with Orihime if he has a stronger bond with Rukia? "And have fun with the IchiOri trying to argue! &nbsp;A IchiOri says that Ichigo and Orihime got together because FTB is filler.
1st: The IchiOri in question will in the least half an hour talking how IchiRukis are idiots to be so happy with FTB, as it is filler and can not confirm IchiRuki, and if not confirmed means that will be IchiOri.
2nd: Make a confused face and ask: "If it's filler, means that it makes no difference in the the manga, right? "And look at IchiOri happy to respond, thinking that convinced you: "Yeah"
3rd: Continue with face innocently confused and ask, "If it does not interfere in the manga, can not confirm IchiRuki, right?" And the IchiOri enter into ecstasy: "Exactly!"
4th: Smile politely ironic and say: "Neither IchiOri. Moreover, a movie really does not interfere in the manga but the manga interfere in the movie. Surely they would not do a movie of Hitsugaya trying to save Rukia because it would be totally inconsistent with the manga. But Ichigo protect Rukia and tell her words of comfort is something Cannon, as it 
happens in the manga. "
5th: Delight in the face of "WTF?" of IchiOri. He will take time to understand everything you said, but do not worry.
The always a light in the the end of the tunnel. &nbsp;When a IchiOri has the bad idea of trying to answer "And Ichigo?".
1st: He'll probably say: "Ichigo loves no one."
2nd: Clap cheerfully and say, "Congratulations, you denied IchiRuki and IchiOri. Since, to my knowledge, there's only novel when TWO people feel love for each other. If Ichigo does not love anyone how do? "
3rd: Have fun with a trollface of the IchiOri XDDDD

And that was the first volume of the Guide: How to handle a IchiOri. All of them have been tested by me, and if desired, can send me more situations, I will gladly to test them with my friends IchiOris and do another guide. I dedicate this publication to Byakuya-taichou, who knows owned and troll without losing the elegance and neither ruffle the hair.