O RECOMEÇO
Autor: Jussara Costa | Publicado: 2013-12-25T16:05:00-08:00



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Eu que
tantas vezes cheguei a dizer que seria o fim, estou mais uma vez tentando
recomeçar. Eu que tantas vezes vi o mundo desabar em minha cabeça, e eu como de
costume sempre sabia lamentar-me da própria sorte, é incrível como consigo
gerar tantos pensamentos ruins a meu respeito em questão de segundos. Deve ser
a consciência que esclarece quando ouço falar o meu nome, como um ruído de
bagagens desesperadamente necessitando gritar, te conforma, te aceita, você é
todas essas coisas ruins que existe no mundo. E mais uma vez parabéns para mim.

Parabéns
pra mim que me odeio muito mais do que me amo, que não me aceito muito mais do
que eu devo, mesmo com todo meu respeito por todos os dias de melancolia, agonia,
desespero, solidão, além de todos os outros dias que não se definiam nem
alegria, nem tristeza, nem sorte, nem azar, nem nada. Só vazio indefinido no
olhar indeciso da escuridão, mesmo quando tudo parecia tão claro. &nbsp;

Estive
pensando se deve ter alguma coisa escrita lá no céu, que a gente vai ser feliz.
Que a gente não é só aprendiz, que a gente colhe mesmo o que planta. E que não
há ninguém no mundo que apague, mesmo com tanta maldade, o que está escrito
para ser da gente, um dia ou uma tarde de inverno ou verão, vai prevalecer. 

E agora
nessa tentativa de recomeço, eu aceito o fato de poder ser sempre melhor,
sempre maior, sempre como se fosse à única palavra que me faça durar, para
sempre ou até nunca. Me aceito um pouco mais, me amo um pouco mais, visto que
esse negócio de se amar tem lá suas grandes e boas vantagens. O ano já está
terminando e eu aqui só desejando o recomeço. 

Jussara
Costa