My impressions about Love and relationships
Autor: Graciely Santos | Publicado: 2013-08-10T11:20:00-07:00




Today, I started translating a text I wrote around 1 year ago. It was about a
very close friend that HAD a girlfriend who proposed an open relationship and,
at that time, I thought the idea was really incredible, very open mind, very
modern. It is the dream of ALMOST all men. But for my friend, that was not the
best idea. He did not want to be with other girls. He just wanted to be with her.
That was problem, because he knew other girl, this girl did not like the idea
of an open relationship and they felt in love. My friend and his girlfriend
broke up and he is with this other girl today.

I know other kind of stories like this. You, dear reader, must be thinking “what
an stupid point of view from this writer. She is making assumptions based on
other peoples’ stories!”&nbsp; Yes, I am, my
dear reader!
Ok, but the important point in everything about relationships I am learning is:
every person has its own way to deal with love and relationships. There are a
lot of couples who can’t get together without being in an open relationship. The
history, friends and society can show us lot of examples. 

If you’re not interested in my opinion about it, stop here and know that each person
deals with love on his/her away. You can listen this beautiful song from "Kings of Convenience" also. But, if you are interested in my opinion, you’re
invited to continue reading this text.





Each person
has his way to deal with love and relationship. But there are some questions to
answer: &nbsp;1) If you love someone, would
you like to stay with him/her? 2) If you love someone, do you want to share
his/her with another person? 

I will try to talk about LOVE! 
For question 1, I really think if you love someone, you want to stay close to
this person. For me, love is a pure and true feeling. This is the feeling I
have for my parents, my sister! This is true and real. And, yeah, I always think
about them and want to stay with them! For a partner, &nbsp;a lover, I think it is something similar. IF
you love him/her, you to stay close, share things. And there is plus called
sex! 

For question 2, it is really complicated. For example, using the example of
loving parents, I really don’t care if my parents are going to visit their
friends, for example. But I really will not like if I go from Campinas to
Curitiba for two days and they say: “Sorry, dear daughter, we are going to our friends’
home, but you can stay at home alone or go out with your friends”. You know, I
came to see them, have a good time with them, not to stay alone at home. I
would really feel upset if it happens. I think with a partner, this is really
similar. You don’t wanna be far away, you want to stay close. So, yeah, you don’t
want to share the time you separate to be with this person. Ok, I know it is
not objective yet. But, the point I want to say (writing in English is f*****
hard) is about the feeling… this feeling of not being the priority. I would not
mind if I lived with my parents and they went to visit their friends. 
Now, talking about a partner, there isn’t any problem about him/her going out
alone or with his/her friends, since you have a time for you alone. A
relationship is about company, a nice conversation, listening to some songs
together, is about watching a movie together, about cooking together, going to
the park together… For example, I’m probably not the best company to a rock and
roll strange band concert. He could not be best company for a jazz concert, but
we can enjoy a classical music concert together. I really don’t care if my
partner is going to do something with another person, since we can do things we
like together too. &nbsp;And what about sex? Is it ok if he/she have sex with another person, since you
have time to have sex together? Another point: you like each other’s company,
but sex is not that good. Is it ok if you and him/her go out with another
people to have good sex but still being together?

You, lovely reader, still reading this shit, must be thinking: “what kind of
stupid questions. If you’re with someone it is because everything is ok!”. Of
course not, reader. People change. She could be the hottest girl in the
college, but now she got some extra pounds… or he is not so interesting as
before… people always change, for better and for worse.

Look, I always thought about these questions and my point of view about it is
very strict: I don’t like the idea of sharing in sex! There are lot of ways to
deal with bad sex or not too interesting company. For me, the most effective
way is a sincere conversation, but, some little strategies can really make
things better.
If you can’t have a conversation about literature with him, suggest watching a
movie based on a book story. If he wants to talk about football and you don’t
like to watch it, suggest visiting the “Football museum”. If she doesn’t like
going out to dance on Saturday’s night, invite her to a dinner in a restaurant
with live music. If she always wears the same beige lingerie, buy her a black
or red as a gift. And… better stop here! J

Well, if these strategies didn’t work, the best thing is a real and sincere
conversation. If things are not going well, it should be told. And the true
should be told. Sometimes people want to make everything to stay together. But,
when see your partner going out with another person starts to hurt, maybe stay
together is not the priority anymore.

So, to tell about the title of this text, I really believe in this stuff called
love and I believe it is better stay alone than sharing someone you love! 

(And to finish this text, I really could not write everything was in my mind,
cause is fucking difficult write common ideas in English. But I will keep it. I
like to see how things change after year)