Marcas.
Autor: @_carolm | Publicado: 2011-07-17T17:54:00-03:00

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Nem mesmo o futuro mais colorido e feliz possível será capaz de apagar e compensar tudo. Essa história de que o amanhã será diferente e ‘’ um dia o sol brilha para todos ‘’ nunca funcionou pra mim. Desde criança, espero o meu amanhã, espero o meu sol. &nbsp;Do jeito que as coisas andam e sempre andaram, tudo o que tenho recebido e continuarei a receber são tempestades e escuridão. Não desejo a minha vida á ninguém. Não passo fome, nunca fui abusada sexualmente, visto o que eu quero, como o que eu quero, vou pra onde quero, e nem isso me faz feliz. As vezes, me sinto mal de reclamar, reclamar e reclamar, enquanto uns não tem um terço do que eu tenho e são felizes. A questão não é ter, a questão é ser, fazer, viver. E é exatamente o que eu não consigo. Posso ter tudo, mas o mais importante, que é a felicidade, eu não simplesmente não consigo. Faltam pessoas, pedaços, abraços e lembranças. Falta amor, carinho, dedicação e confiança. Falta o mais importante, falta sentir. Eu sinto demais, mas não sei colocar meus sentimentos em prática, digamos assim. Tudo em mim é conflitante. Penso de uma forma, sinto de outra e acabo agindo de uma terceira maneira totalmente incoerente com as anteriores. E dói. Dói saber que eu não aprendi a ser coerente comigo mesma. E junto com essa dor, vem as lembranças de todas as vezes que eu tive que me levantar durante a noite pra pegar um cobertor mais grosso. Faltou algo, faltou alguém e sempre faltará.