The Fine Art of Not Being Offended
Autor: Antonio Donato Nobre | Publicado: 2015-05-19T07:24:00-07:00




Dr Jodi Prinivall 

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There
 is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the Great Ones 
have known for centuries. They rarely talk about it, but they use it all
 the time, and it is fundamental to good mental health. The secret is 
called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended. In order to truly be a master
 of this art, one must be able to see that every statement, action and 
reaction of another human being is the sum result of their total life 
experience to date. In other words, the majority of people in our world 
say and do what they do from their own set of fears, conclusions, defenses and attempts to survive. Most of it, even when aimed directly 
at us, has nothing to do with us. Usually, it has more to do with all 
the other times, and in particular the first few times, that this person
 experienced a similar situation, usually when they were young. Yes, 
this is psycho-dynamic. But let's face it, we live in a world where 
psycho-dynamics are what make the world go round. An individual who 
wishes to live successfully in the world as a spiritual person really 
needs to understand that psychology is as spiritual as prayer. In fact, 
the word psychology literally means the study of the soul.

 All of 
that said, almost nothing is personal. Even with our closest loved ones,
 our beloved partners, our children and our friends. We are all swimming
 in the projections and filters of each other's life experiences and 
often we are just the stand-ins, the chess pieces of life to which our 
loved ones have their own built-in reactions. This is not to dehumanize 
life or take away the intimacy from our relationships, but mainly for us
 to know that almost every time we get offended, we are actually just in
 a misunderstanding. A true embodiment of this idea actually allows for 
more intimacy and less suffering throughout all of our relationships. 
When we know that we are just the ones who happen to be standing in the 
right place at the right psycho-dynamic time for someone to say or do 
what they are doing - we don't have to take life personally. If it 
weren't us, it would likely be someone else. This frees us to be a 
little more detached from the reactions of people around us. How often 
do we react to a statement of another by being offended rather than 
seeing that the other might be hurting? In fact, every time we get 
offended, it is actually an opportunity to extend kindness to one who 
may be suffering - even if they themselves do not appear that way on the
 surface. All anger, all acting out, all harshness, all criticism, is in
 truth a form of suffering. When we prove no Velcro for it to stick, 
something changes in the world. 

 We do not even have to say a thing.
 In fact, it is usually better not to say a thing. People who are 
suffering on the inside, but not showing it on the outside are not 
usually keen on someone pointing out to them that they are suffering. We
 do not have to be our loved one's therapists. We need only to 
understand the situation and move on. in the least, we ourselves 
experience less suffering and at best, we have a chance to make the 
world a better place. This is also not to be confused with allowing 
ourselves to be hurt, neglected or taken advantage of. True compassion 
does not allow harm to ourselves either. But when we know that nothing 
is personal, a magical thing happens. Many of the seeming abusers of the
 world start to leave our lives. Once we are conscious, so-called abuse 
can only happen if we believe what the other is saying. 

 When we 
know nothing is personal, we also do not end up feeling abused. we can 
say, 'Thank you for sharing', and move on. We are not hooked by what 
another does or says, since we know it is not about us. When we know 
that our inherent worth is not determined by what another says, does or 
believes, we can take the world a little less seriously. And if 
necessary, we can just walk away without creating more misery for 
ourselves or having to convince the other person that we are good and 
worthy people.

 The greatest challenge of our world is to live a life
 of contentment, regardless of what other people do, say, think or 
believe. The fine art of not being offended is one of the many skills 
for being a practical mystic. Though it may take a lifetime of practice,
 it is truly one of the best kept secrets for living a happy life.



Source: High Existence, daily boost to your consciousness