A Língua do Fanho
Autor: Luigi Spreafico | Publicado: 2011-03-16T11:42:00-04:00

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Preciso estudar a língua do fanho. Para quem já passou dos cinqüenta, como eu, e se mete a escrever, seja lá por que motivo for ( quanto a mim já confessei: escrevo para exibir-me), precisa aprender a língua do fanho. Aqueles que ainda não chegaram aos cinqüenta já nasceram sabendo, e esse dom foi se aprimorando com o tempo a ponto de aqueles que singram na adolescência navegam na web na base do piloto automático.
 As instruções estão lá, claras, nítidas, cristalinas. Só que na língua do fanho. O melhor exemplo disso ocorre quando você precisa&nbsp; transferir alguma&nbsp; coisa que&nbsp; produziu com seu próprio esforço e&nbsp; a custa de muito suor,&nbsp; para o trabalho que está para completar. Aí aparece a mensagem: “digite a url aqui”. E quem disse que você encontra a url? Mas a gozação continua: “para evitar erros de digitação recorte e cole o endereço da url”. É como se eles dissessem: “Carolina de Sá Leitão” e você entendesse “caçarolinha&nbsp; de assar leitão” . É a língua do fanho.
Mas, justiça seja feita. As coisas já foram bem piores. Os cinqüentões devem se lembrar dos instrumentos de tortura usados até pouco tempo e agora felizmente superados. Eu chorava quando apareciam aquelas mensagens:“Lebsek causou um erro. Lebsek será fechado. Salve seus dados e clique em OK para fechar Lebsek” . &nbsp;Aí você procura os dados para salvar e clica fanhosamente como entendeu. O Lebsek desaparece, ninguém diz mais nada e os seus dados somem no oco do mundo. Para sempre? Não. Mas eles se escondem e só reaparecerão se você os chamar na língua do fanho.E o que dizer da aterrorizante mensagem: “ERRO FATAL”, que aparecia assim mesmo, em caixa alta? E completava: “Se você clicar em continuar, todos os seus dados serão apagados. Clique em OK para voltar”. Na língua do fanho isso quer dizer: se você clicar em OK você ficará rodando como o cachorro que morde o próprio rabo; se clicar em continuar espere para ver o que acontece. Pois bem, eu já cliquei em continuar. A tela ficou preta como noite sem lua. Fugi dali apavorado e fui tomar uma caipirinha. No dia seguinte chamei o técnico, que me disse: “Vou levar o HD para ver o que posso salvar”.
Voltou &nbsp;duas semanas depois com as salvações numa bandejinha - pelo menos foi assim que eu vi a cena - contendo um disco de &nbsp;clip art &nbsp;xexelento e um anúncio de bombons Serenata do Amor. Creio que era da Garoto.