A lista ficou grande
Autor: Blueberry | Publicado: 2011-12-08T08:24:00-08:00

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A verdade é que eu não estou conseguindo.&nbsp;

O plano era trabalhar em algo que me desse aquela sensação
de “ser útil” e ganhar dinheiro suficiente pra me sentir valorizada.&nbsp;



Era malhar
pesado, mas também alongar e acalmar o corpo. Era comer menos e meditar todos
os dias, duas vezes por dia. Era ser mais calma, mais relax. Dar menos
importância para as coisas e parar de querer controlar todo mundo.&nbsp;



O plano era, principalmente ser mais leve, mais simples e
mais alegre.&nbsp;



Dezembro chegou e embora eu não tenha conseguido seguir a
lista toda ao pé da letra, pelo menos sei que essa é a meta.&nbsp;



Ando mal humorada, cansada, de saco cheio mesmo. E até um
pouco perdida. O meu “plano” é tão simples, por que eu não consigo segui-lo,
cumpri-lo?



2011 foi o ano de reconhecer as fraquezas e o que é realmente
importante para mim. Mas vamos ser sinceros: Eu não ando praticando. Me sinto
pesada, chata e ando muito consumista. Estou comendo e bebendo muito mais do
que meu corpo precisa. A alegria me parece algo utópico, como se não fosse
possível ser sincero. Eu ando atrás de mais leveza, mas me pego questionando,
brigando, lutando... Pra quê? Pra ser do meu jeito...



A parte boa? Sou valorizada no trabalho, me sinto útil e
estou malhando direitinho. A meditação, uma vez por dia eu dou conta, quando
faço duas me sinto dona da minha vida.&nbsp;



É isso que eu quero ser: Dona da Minha Vida! Mas tá na hora
de pegar essa responsabilidade no colo e parar de esperar que o mundo conspire
a meu favor.