O "Eu" em D-eu-S
Autor: Carlos Anderson | Publicado: 2017-04-03T20:59:00-03:00

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Gênero: Depressão
e Tédio


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Deitado, derrotado e afogando minhas mágoas depressivas. Entre as
bagunças do quarto, o vento sopra em caos de chuva. Está frio, em corpo adormecido.
Lágrimas que escorrem no rosto e vidros, o mar me aprofunda. O veleiro teme as
tempestades, enquanto na escuridão me fecho no fim. Memórias, agora apagadas. Silêncio,
é o pavor da minha depressão. Desisto de viver, quero sumir e desaparecer. Numa
mente fechada e isolada, luto contra a existência. Meus espaços, selados em
todos os lados. Temo, o próprio tempo, que este me propõe a selva das dores. É
privado, mas tenho pensamentos suicidas que me apertão para dentro da alma.
Arde, realmente, rasgando os timbres das sujeiras espalhadas da minha vida,
sobre a turva chamada da resposta por cura, onde inunda os desejos de tê-la. Envergonhado,
ao ver a esperança apagar, porque mesmo sozinho não consigo chegar. E sempre nas
palavras de fé, me perco caindo num abismo giratório. Eu acho que, esse é meu
próprio inferno, interno entre falsidades e medo. Medo de tentar, medo
conhecer, e também, de se aceitar. Por isso... tropeço na estrada infinita de
remorsos e erros, e além disso... me desconheço. As baladas das músicas soadas por
essas melodias de tristezas, sangra-me em gotas góticas ao cair da noite. As
horas não passam, como as passadas movimentadas do centro das cidades. Me
acolho pelas sombras das pessoas levadas pelas nuvens nos ventos. Ao abrir os
olhos, um mundo desconexo, cada um no seu próprio ritmo assimétrico, aos
corações e mentes perturbadas, doentes... como a minha. Onde eu não sou o erro,
mas sim... todos somos um único, câncer a adoecer tudo que nos cerca. Acelerados
batimentos cardíacos, levantam-me a sair e ir.... Mas tudo nessas mentiras e
verdades, mortes e nascimentos... é onde não quero ir. Quero me afastar, sair
do sistema que aprisiona as perspectivas humanas da vida, para solucionar
minhas filosofias do ego interior, o nirvana de cada que se encontra no meu/seu
próprio núcleo interior. Aos caros leitores, em seus tortos caminhos que se vão,
isoladamente e necessitadamente, acolher seus insaciáveis prazeres em consumir
suas próprias almas ao infinito desejo capitalista humano, aquele que
transforma o homem na própria besta da evolução das espécies. Além dos céus,
nesse espaço universal, separo-me das minhas loucas dores luzes solares ao vácuo
imenso do Eu, em Deus.






Oh Hiroshima:&nbsp;
In Silence We Yearn 
Aria



&nbsp;por Carlos Anderson I. do N.