Brazilian women
Autor: minivan285 | Publicado: 2013-06-09T18:20:00-07:00

After having been here for two years and embraced the culture, one aspect that I've yet to embrace at all are the Brazilian women.

Now, first thing we think of when we think of Brazil as a nation is; beautiful women, great figures, tanned, plastic surgery, basically fit. 
Funny how personality comes second...

I've still yet to make friends with a Brazilian woman here. I find it difficult to stand their personalities, their ego's, their mentalities, their beauty regimes, their insecurities, their nagging, their gossiping and whining. Sounds like a mother, a mother to whom I already have and am perfectly happy with. 

So, I shall give you a taster as to what my perception of them are.

Image: Hair &amp; nails- going to the salon at least once a month for their hair maintenace and the nail salon to get their nails done. Many women like to have the long, dark, well maintained flowing down the back hair. A mane of hair swishing about all the time. Women flicking it about whilst staring at themselves in the mirror or glass window of a train or bus. Each time I see this, I just give a 'tut'. Others would try to defy nature and colour their locks blonde. Yep, they'd get really bad hair jobs and look like an orange or a piece of cheese. Peroxde here is huge. And girls as young as 9 are getting their hair coloured. Unbloody believable!
Nails are a must for women of all ages. These one hour sessions could be just a manicure or both, manicure and pedicure. I tried to keep up with this trend, but gave up after the 3rd session. It's not me, and it's a waste of bloody money.

Body &amp; body hair- women here are an assortment of shapes. Apparently the curvier you are, the more guys like this. I don't see it myself, imagine having a huge cow in your hands sitting on top of you. That woman could snap that guy's legs in the process. The ass is seen as the most attractive thing here. Well that and boobs. Cosmetic surgery is considered the most popular treatment done here and apparently it's not that expensive. I've seen enormous asses ontop of a muffin top, wobbling down the pavement and it doesn't look attractive to me. I've seen these husbands and wives, and it's like the woman just let herself go.
Ok, now this really irritates the hell out of me. Body hair! So, women here shave the underarms. BUT they don't give a fuck about the legs. I have seen some seriously hairy biker arms and legs. It's disgusting. Not even being covered up, but paraded around like it's an asset. Well fuck me! Those who have bear arms and legs try to disguise it by bleaching it. Nearly 90% of women do this in Brazil. It's disgusting I tell you! I've heard, some women shave from the knee downwards and bleach the thighs. WTF!
I tell you, if they were in the western world, they'd get a right looking at, and not in a positive way. But more as a freak of nature way. They need to gilette their arms and whole leg, from thigh to leg.

Personality: So, all women have some qualities that make us different from men. It's in our blood, we're motherly and protective in our affection. Jealousy is something that is common amongst all of us. But there are multitudes of level of jealousy. In England, I'd experienced very little of this from people around me. But in Brazil, boy is that a different story. Women here are overly jealous. Even borderline, just fucking mad and psycho! Women here give you deadly stares. When they are walking down the street with their partners they hold their hands, also gripping it. It's like fending off the opposition and saying 'back off, he's mine'. Yeah alright girl, he aint all that! If you're a bloke and you have a female colleague or plantonic female friend, you can't tell your gf you're going to meet up with them. Cos apparently in this country men and women can't be platonic friends. So the women go, ''is your friend a woman?''. Jealousy right there. 

Couples in this country wear commitment rings, a solid silver band on their right hand, fore-finger. They go around strutting their stuff. Smooching around. Using metro and train stations as their hang out places. Sometimes you have to say, oh please get a bloody room!
The other week, I went to the food court and whilst sitting down to have a munch on my burger I noticed that I was surrounded by couples smooching away on the tables. I mean WTF was this! Don't you have a place to hang out of your own? Instead you have to infect the food court with your smooching. 

Clothing: simple motto here: the shorter and tighter it is, the more attention you get. Now girls here adore attention. They love to parade whatever God given talents they have. Anything from tits, ass or legs. You name it. They have a type of girl here called 'piriguettes', all of the above yet they hunt for rich looking guys. I've seen dresses here that just about go under the ass. No it's not about above the knee, more like how close to the ass can we get it. Tight as well, to show you the outline of their figures. These women train at the gyms and really want to parade it. There are also those women, who don't have athletic figures and have the slight bulge or muffin top, yet that doesn't defer them from wearing something that is clearly two sizes too small for them and displaying all the puppies and tire rolls of stomach to the public.
So, here it's like saying, if you've got it flaunt it. If you haven't got it, who gives a fuck. 

Now, at my law office. There are women there are really overly polished in their appearance. When I'd first started working there, women were looking at me thinking why isn't she wearing as much slap as we are? Well probably cos I don't want to look like a clown at the freak circus. Or the Joker in those Batman comics. To me, so long as you look professional and tidy that's what counts. I don't want to visit the hair salon twice a month, I don't want to take an hour at the nail salon to get my nails done 4 times a month. I don't want to wear tight fitting, and short clothing. I don't want a big ass! I'm not a Brazilian woman, so I'm not going to dress nor act like one, thank you very much!

P.S: Notice how I've not put up any images. Yeah I don't want to give anyone a hard on whilst zooming in on the images of Brazilian woman's bum, tits or silhouette of her body.