confissões da madrugada
Autor: bianca pinheiro | Publicado: 2013-03-21T17:03:00-03:00


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 <![endif]--> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Às vezes, penso, ‘que se dane’, mas aí eu
lembro que não, não pode se danar, e então meus olhos se enchem de lágrimas. A
gente não pode se danar porque eu não quero que a gente se dane, porque eu
sinto algo enorme que me diz que preciso de nós. Mas é que isso de qualquer
coisa me fazer lembrar de você e de mim... isso me deixa com os nervos à flor
da pele. Eu odeio isso porque, sabe, surgem tantas perguntas. E não sei
responder a nenhuma delas. Então percebo que não posso controlar nada. Não
posso controlar a gente. Não sei o que vai acontecer amanhã ou depois ou depois
do depois com a gente, com a nossa história. Daí me lembro de quando dizemos
‘quero ficar com você pra sempre’, ‘vamos morar juntos’, ‘vamos ter cachorros’,
e percebo que não dá pra ter certeza de nada. É desesperador. Onde estaremos
daqui a alguns anos? Estaremos morando juntos, teremos cachorros, seremos eu e
você pra sempre? Será que o ‘nós’ ainda vai existir? Não quero pensar nisso,
não quero pensar em coisa alguma, mas minha mente insiste em se agarrar aos
mais inúteis dos pensamentos, justamente àqueles que me inquietam. Então eu
choro. Choro. Choro. E choro mais um pouco. Mas ‘que se dane’ tudo, penso, e a
torrente de lágrimas deixa de cair. Só que depois de um tempo volta tudo de
novo.