Hipocritamente justo
Autor: Tiago Bonato | Publicado: 2012-04-18T09:00:00-07:00

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“It's a little too late for you to come back / Say it's just a mistake / Think I'd forgive you like that”


O mundo tenta, a todo custo, nos tornar um pouco mais justos e um bocado menos hipócritas, embora seja difícil crer nisso como uma tarefa possível. No meu caso, tomar a decisão sopesando a maior justiça e a menor hipocrisia me colocou numa grande encruzilhada paradoxal que jamais pudera ter imaginado estar: se por um lado parecia justo respeitar as escolhas alheias e levar a vida adiante, por outro parecia demasiado hipócrita não levar em consideração o sentimento de vingança que imperava dentro de mim.
Esse é o maior problema do ser humano... hipócritas como somos, levamos a vida “baseados” em valores e princípios que nunca foram nossos, e que alguns jamais sequer tiveram o interesse de possuí-los, enquanto por baixo dos panos apaixonamo-nos e nos deixamos guiar pela vingança e pelo rancor, sem nos darmos conta do comportamento hipócrita que construímos. Mas se o que interessa mesmo é o que aparentamos para os outros, e como usamos nossa retórica para enaltecer modelos de conduta e ideais de justiça, pra quê pararmos pra pensar no que realmente nos dá prazer, não é mesmo?
Não. Eu, no direito de escolha que me foi dado, escolhi ser justo e não ser hipócrita. Impossível? Não, pois escolhi ser justo, mas justo comigo, não com o mundo, e isso implicava no fato de não ser hipócrita e aceitar que a vingança agora era o que me dava prazer, e somente dar a volta por cima era o que me faria sentir melhor. Um pensamento um tanto quanto construído, admito, mas uma lógica necessária para me acalentar naquele momento.
Pensamento aceito, agora era hora de botar a mão na massa e construir as situações e oportunidades necessárias para que as coisas corressem de acordo com o planejado. Assim foi a volta pra casa, filosofando em&nbsp; meio aos copos de bebida ingeridos, mas com a única certeza de que os pensamentos tomados naquele momento seriam os mesmos a serem pensados depois. Bêbado ou não, aquilo deveria ser feito, e agora não havia tempo ou possibilidade de voltar atrás. Merda feita, era hora de consertar.