sobre os quase trinta;
Autor: Carolina da Silva | Publicado: 2017-01-11T08:04:00-02:00

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Me peguei esses dias pensando
que, chegando agora aos vinte e oito, estou com quase trinta. Idade em que, nos noticiários, qualquer uma já é
tratada como mulher, e não mais como jovem. Mas me sinto jovem, a realidade dos
quase trinta parece tão distante,
apesar de faltar apenas dois. Com quase
trinta, minha mãe já estava grávida do quarto filho. A primogênita já havia
casado, se mudado para a Europa e, se não me engano, se divorciado e já era mãe
de três. Minha outra irmã já era mãe também.&nbsp;





E eu? Ainda posto diariamente
fotos do look do dia no Instagram. Tenho um cargo público, mas sinceramente, o
Universo me deu ele sem nenhum esforço da minha parte. Diferente das outras
mulheres da minha família, minha gestação é de sete semestres, e meu filho é um
curso que não exige nada da minha capacidade intelectual. Não tive nenhum
relacionamento duradouro, apesar de todos terem deixado suas cicatrizes
profundas o suficiente para que eu desistisse de vez. Os poucos amigos que
tenho, em sua maioria, estão distante geograficamente, e, levando em
consideração que não sei lidar com pessoas muito próximas, é esse o fato que
tem mantido nossa amizade de anos. Com quase
trinta, sinto que não realizei nada. Ainda moro com meus pais, e não pretendo
sair de lá tão cedo... Na verdade, metade dela me pertence, está comprovado na
escritura, então porque deveria me apressar em sair da minha casa?





Com quase trinta, vivo uma vida relativamente boa e feliz. Mas ainda
assim, sinto que tenho desperdiçado tempo. Por outro lado, parece que não tenho
desperdiçado sozinha. Talvez seja o mal da geração dos anos 80/início dos 90,
que não percebe o passar do tempo, e vê agora a geração seguinte nos alcançando
e se realizando.





Com quase trinta, não vejo absolutamente nenhum tipo de mudança me
alcançando e, a não ser que o retorno de Saturno chegue e vire tudo de pernas
para o ar, parece que continuarei catalogando meus looks, sendo servidora pública,
morando com meus pais e tendo um diploma inútil na gaveta. Não me leve a mal,
eu gosto da minha vida, se paro para pensar nela, não há mais nada que eu
poderia desejar – a não ser, claro, o desejo da maioria das pessoas de ter
milhões na conta e viajar o mundo despreocupadamente - mas existe aquela
sensação... 















Com quase trinta eu não fiz nada.
Com quase trinta eu não faço a mínima ideia do que fazer.
C.G.