RELACIONAMENTO  COM  PESSOAS  DIFICIEIS
Autor: Claudia Gravalos | Publicado: 2013-03-17T19:26:00-03:00

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<![endif]-->Artigo que escrevi e foi publicado no jornal
ENFIN – mês de março






Você conhece uma pessoa difícil? Por
que ele(a) é difícil? Como é seu relacionamento om ele(a)?

Dizemos que uma pessoa é difícil
porque é teimosa, ciumenta, invejosa, agressiva, indiferente, mal educada, fofoqueira,
intolerante, até porque ele(a) é difícil de pagar o dinheiro que emprestamos...
porque não responde o que eu pergunto, não me obedece, não faz o que peço. Meu
vizinho que estaciona seu carro em frente à minha garagem impedindo que eu
possa sair quando quero. Meu filho adolescente que deixa as roupas espalhadas
pelo chão do quarto, tênis jogados pela casa, apesar de ter pedido
incansavelmente para colocar as roupas sujas no cesto. Meu marido que não leva
o micro-ondas para o conserto. Minha esposa que continua gastando demais no
cartão de crédito e estoura o limite do cheque especial todo mês... meu chefe
que chama minha atenção em voz alta na frente de todo mundo. Porque ele(a) me
deixa falando sozinho ou grita por qualquer coisinha, se eu pergunto grita, se
eu não pergunto grita porque não perguntei, nem sei o que fazer... 

Nessas situações muitas vezes,
nos sentimos tristes, desrespeitados, humilhados, constrangidos, impotentes.
Incapazes de mudarmos essa situação, de lidarmos melhor. Nos sentimos fracos e
vulneráveis, vamos nos calando, nos fechando, nos afastando... quando
percebemos estamos sozinhos, carentes e desiludidos. Não conseguimos entender
porque a pessoa nos trata assim? O que eu fiz? – perguntamos. Geralmente o
primeiro pensamento que passa pela cabeça é se afastar da pessoa, sair do
emprego, mudar de casa, terminar o relacionamento, romper a amizade. Mas nem
sempre é possível e o que fazer?

Entender o que está acontecendo
com o outro. Compreender:&nbsp; por que a
pessoa age assim? Muitas estão num estado de sofrimento tão grande, estão tão
machucadas por dentro que externalizam sua dor machucando quem está próximo e principalmente
quem mais a ama... tem&nbsp; tanto medo de
sofrer que fazem de tudo para que ninguém goste delas; assim, não precisam
passar pela tristeza de ver uma amizade ou namoro acabando... são agressivas,
arrogantes, para que ninguém chegue perto e não tenha acesso aos seus sentimentos.
Atrás dessa máscara de forte e inatingível, na verdade tem uma pessoa frágil,
sensível, com medo... e a maneira que encontra para se proteger e se defender é
atacando... Nossa, nunca tinha pensado por esse lado - você pode ter concluído,
caro leitor, e até ter um sentimento de dó pela pessoa em questão, mas e dai?
Eu tenho que continuar convivendo com ele(a)... o problema continua... Exatamente!
A pessoa vai continuar sendo quem ela é, você é que vai ter que mudar.
Compreender porque ele(a) age assim vai ajudar você a não levar tudo para o
lado pessoal, dar menos importância ao que a pessoa diz e faz, mas isso não
quer dizer que você deva passar a mão na cabeça dele(a) e concordar com tudo
que diga ou faça.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Tente se
colocar no lugar dele(a). Por que está agindo assim? Está se sentimento ameaçado?
Levou uma bronca do chefe? Está sendo pressionado? Está doente? Ou algum
familiar seu? Perdeu um ente querido? Está com dificuldades financeiras? Se você
imaginar algum momento de sua vida em que passou por uma dessas situações, de
como se sentiu, de como tratava as pessoas, pode perceber que também fez coisas
que não condizia com suas atitudes habituas, não é mesmo? Agora é o momento de respirar
fundo e amar essa pessoa. Sim, amar em forma de paciência, tolerância,
compreensão, carinho e não revidar a agressão, mas encontrar maneiras de
neutralizá-las... e se eu não consigo? O que eu faço? Esse é o assunto do
artigo do próximo mês. Boa sorte nos seus relacionamentos!

&nbsp;&nbsp; 

Claudia Gravalos dos Santos - &nbsp;psicóloga - claudiagravalos@yahoo.com.br

Av.
Pedro Américo, 811 - Santo André - Telefones: 3969-7516 &nbsp; / &nbsp;
99735-7727