Coragem
Autor: Nina | Publicado: 2013-11-11T13:12:00-02:00


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Tenho conversado bastante, mentalmente, com o blog. Se em
outros momentos, como posts anteriores exaustivamente demonstram, eu tinha uma
série de pruridos narcísicos, hoje não escrevo mais por pura preguiça de
digitar.

Tenho lido posts no facebook, dois na verdade, a Cora Ronai e
o Claudio Botelho. Amo os dois e morro de vontade de conversar com eles, mas
minha já proverbial falta de culhões (metafóricos, os literais nasci sem) me contém.
A cada leitura, relembro com prazer o exercício delicioso de transpor em
palavras o vivido dia a dia. Cada um, a seu jeito, é mais do que bom escritor,
é alguém de coragem. Coragem de dar &nbsp;a cara
a tapa, de emitir opiniões e suportar as discordâncias e o que mais vier. 

A cada leitura dos meus queridos Claudio e Cora, eles me
mostram que é irrelevante se concordo ou não com o que escrevem, mesmo quando
minha herança de menina de colégio de freira fica de cabelo em pé com o que Claudio
diz, mas adoro a &nbsp;honestidade, o jeito espontâneo,
o estilo personalíssimo e delicioso, a coragem de ser diante de tanta gente que
seus textos oferecem.A melhor homenagem que poderia lhes fazer é fazer o mesmo
- escrever, escrever, testemunhar.

Meu querido mestre, Esdras do Nascimento, me disse um dia, no
tempo em que eu fazia sua oficina literária que eu tinha talento, mas não tinha
vocação para escritora, visto que eu não priorizava a escrita acima de nada. Ele
tinha toda a razão, mas o que ele não disse (pode ter pensado, mas foi delicado
em silenciar) é que eu não tinha era coragem.

Isso eu vim entender mais tarde, quando li que um ator não
pode ter medo de não ser gostado, não pode ter medo da crítica ou da vaia. Um
escritor também. Um escritor não pode ter um superego feroz no cangote. Eu
sempre precisei que gostassem de mim e sempre a aprovação ou o sucesso se
mostrou como elemento prioritário. Para que correr risco em algo tão elusivo
como exercer a literatura, se eu já tinha sucesso na profissão que escolhi? Junte-se
a isto medo de despir a alma, mostrar o lado B, ser rejeitada, ter confirmados
os meus temores de que não possuo valor suficiente.

Envelhecer é um saco e cada vez que eu escuto eufemismos como
“melhor idade” meus dentes rangem como se estivesse ouvindo giz arranhando no
quadro negro, imagem que, por si só, evidencia as décadas que me separam do
predomínio do quadro branco e do pilot nos bancos escolares. Uma das únicas
coisas que melhoram com a idade, se você faz anos e anos de análise, é que
finalmente a necessidade de aprovação vira mero desejo de ser acolhido. Se sou,
me sinto feliz e grata. Se não sou, lamento muito, mas, fazer o quê?

Isso não quer dizer leniência com os defeitos, ou vista
grossa sobre ele, nada disso. Uma das coisas que melhoraram muito com a idade
foi minha miopia. Enxergo melhor que nunca. Vejo meus defeitos e os vejo talvez
melhor do que antes, mas não acho mais que eles precisam ser erradicados, isso
é impossível. Eles podem e devem ser administrados, partindo do mesmo princípio
de uma boa maquiagem. Realçando os pontos fortes e protegendo os pontos fracos.
Tenho procurado, enfim, ser uma pessoa melhor. 

Ué, não era essa minha questão de sempre? Era e não era. Antes
eu queria fazer melhor, hoje quero é me sentir melhor. Não para ser admirada,
mas para poder viver melhor. &nbsp;



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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
  
  
 
<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>

 /* Style Definitions */
 table.MsoNormalTable
	{mso-style-name:"Tabela normal";
	mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
	mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
	mso-style-noshow:yes;
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	mso-style-qformat:yes;
	mso-style-parent:"";
	mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
	mso-para-margin-top:0cm;
	mso-para-margin-right:0cm;
	mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
	mso-para-margin-left:0cm;
	line-height:115%;
	mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
	font-size:11.0pt;
	font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
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	mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
	mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
	mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}

<![endif]-->