Namorar com os olhos no futuro
Autor: Marco Túlio | Publicado: 2011-09-10T09:49:00-07:00

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 <![endif]-->  Apesar do tempo de convivência entre os namorados, algumas pessoas se sentem inseguras em assumir o compromisso conjugal com quem se dizem apaixonadas.

Hoje, ninguém é obrigado a se casar por troca de dotes ou porque foi prometido pelos pais conforme seus interesses. Tampouco somos obrigados a assumir um compromisso tão sério, simplesmente porque o nome da pessoa foi “revelado” numa simpatia ou porque “sentimos” que esta é a pessoa que Deus nos tinha reservado como esposo (a).Eu acredito que a vocação ao matrimônio é uma ação de Deus, mas a escolha da pessoa com quem vamos realizar o cumprimento desse chamado depende exclusivamente de nós. Pois, considerando a plena liberdade concedida por Ele a todos, seria uma incoerência considerar que essa liberdade se exclui quando se tratasse da vocação ao casamento.

Antes de fazer qualquer opção, há a necessidade de o casal identificar&nbsp; se o (a) namorado (a)&nbsp; com quem se relaciona o (a) faz feliz na maneira como se vive ainda em tempos de namoro. Para evitar surpresas desagradáveis no casamento, o namoro nos garante um período em que nos empenhamos para descobrir se a pessoa com quem estamos convivendo manifesta sinais de viver um mesmo propósito de uma vida em comum.

Ainda que não tenhamos, neste relacionamento, a certeza de que o (a) namorado (a) será o (a) futuro (a) esposo (a), somos convidados a fazer pequenas renúncias em favor do outro enquanto convivemos.Para garantir a felicidade almejada, os casais precisam reavaliar seus propósitos, especialmente se percebem que o (a) namorado (a) tem hábitos muito contrários àqueles que consideram importantes para o convívio a dois. Tais como: a espiritualidade ou a completa falta dela; a relutância ao diálogo; a falta de disposição para o trabalho; o descaso com os compromissos ou, em alguns casos, até a falta de cuidados com a higiene pessoal, entre outros. Entretanto, o pior defeito é aquele em que a pessoa não manifesta desejo de viver as adaptações exigidas no relacionamento. Entre elas inclui-se o desinteresse em desenvolver também o hábito da reconquista, pois sabemos que nem somente de beijos e abraços se faz o namoro.Com os olhos voltados para o futuro do relacionamento, seria um erro alguém se decidir pelo casamento acreditando que depois de casados a pessoa vai viver as mudanças detectadas, as quais precisam ser trabalhadas já nesse tempo.

Alguns namorados assumem o compromisso do casamento, mas insistem em viver tudo aquilo que fazia parte da sua antiga rotina de solteiros. Cedo ou tarde, isso não será fácil de assimilar, pois, na vida conjugal, outras responsabilidades e afazeres vão surgir, exigindo mais atenção e disposição daquele que se mantinha fechado às mudanças.Se amar é dedicar-se à conquista do outro dia após dia, o casal de namorados precisará aprender a trabalhar também em suas diferenças, assim como nas reivindicações manifestadas pelo outro. Essas e outras adaptações têm como objetivo lapidar aqueles hábitos e/ou comportamento que não agradam ao outro, a fim de que o namoro amadureça. Assim, o casal chegará à conclusão de que aquela pessoa com quem se relaciona traz virtudes que correspondem aos interesses comuns para viver o vínculo do matrimônio.Temer por ficar solteiro, apegado a comentários a respeito da idade ou coisa parecida ou ainda não falar das coisas que não agradam, simplesmente por medo das reações do outro, não traz crescimento algum para o convívio a dois.

Será um risco para o casamento se o casal, mesmo conhecendo os erros e entraves do namoro, assume, ainda assim, o compromisso conjugal, pois é com essa pessoa – juntamente com todas as suas tendências e vícios que ela traz consigo – que se pretende estabelecer uma família e construir uma vida.&nbsp;Um abraço
Dado Moura