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Autor: Nannan | Publicado: 2011-08-14T07:47:00-07:00

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Quantas vezes me senti sozinha? Foram muitas, eu sei.Na infância, eu era a criança que não podia. Não podia brincar, não podia sair e, consequentemente, não podia ter amigos. Foi um tempo que marcou pelo vazio que só a TV preenchia . Esse vazio deveria estar cheio de sonhos, ideias absurdas e muitas brincadeiras. Mas &nbsp;inúmeras correções eram necessárias... Se comporte, fale baixo, não fale besteira, seja simpática, fale com as pessoas, respeite os mais velhos, seja educada, aprenda, se esforce. Não sobrou espaço pro resto.Tentei levar esse resto para a adolescência, mas não funcionou muito bem... As correções foram mais uma vez necessárias... Seja alguém, se importe, goste do que é bom, seja simpática, não fale do que os outros não querem ouvir, se não tem o que dizer fique em silêncio, não se meta na conversa alheia, participe do que você não gosta, considere que não liga pra você, despreze seus amigos, não confie em ninguém, seja responsável, consiga suas coisas, não queira crescer antes do tempo, aprenda na teoria, simule sua vida. Dessa vez faltou espaço até pra descobrir quem eu era, e talvez eu realmente nunca saiba. O vazio dessa época, foi bem pior, a TV já não preenchia, eu precisava de contato com meu mundo, e me iludia. Criava conceitos, pessoas, relações... E chorei. Chorei a cada vez que me senti sozinha, chorei a cada vez que descobri que as pessoas que eu criava não existam, nem muito menos minhas relações com elas. Meus conceitos não eram aceitos, eu me escondia, de todas as formas, só queria alguém que me encontrasse, que se preocupasse. Que me procurasse por vontade.Em fim eu cresci. Cheguei ao topo do pouco que eu sonhava. Talvez as correções ainda sejam necessárias, mas eu já não estou disposta a me moldar mais que isso... Dessa vez, são as minhas escolhas que me trazem a sensação de estar só. Eu decido. Eu escolho. Só não entendo por que o vazio continua... Há momentos em que ele desaparece completamente, mas só uma pessoa consegue preencher todo esse espaço... Outros tentam, mas são pequenos demais. Só ele me procurou quando eu me escondi, só ele participa do meu mundo. Era perto dele que eu queria estar agora..