Pelo avesso da dor
Autor: Camila Santana | Publicado: 2012-04-19T13:36:00-03:00

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A vida tem sido tão dura comigo. Sei que não sou
mole e que às vezes pego muito pesado. Mas digamos que isso seja a lei do
retorno? Sei que está sendo egoísmo da minha parte falar de “dureza da vida”
com tantas pessoas com problemas piores e maiores que o meu; mas é assim que
funciona, não é mesmo? Nossos problemas sempre aparentam ser maior do que o de
todos.





A sensação é que estou pelo avesso e todas as
minhas feridas estão completamente expostas. Em carne viva. E o pior é que bate
vento, pega poeira e quando alguém toca, nossa, estão arrancando os pedaços de
mim? Pois é o que sinto que acontece.

Eu, literalmente, não queria estar escrevendo algo
que deveria estar como de praxe, trancado na maldita sete chaves de sempre. 

Tem dias que nem fome eu sinto. Só quero dormir,
afinal, estranho seria se eu estivesse feliz-e-contente por ai. É que nem
sempre consigo ser forte. O baque me derruba pelo menos todos os dias da semana,
mas cada um com sua intensidade; que por esses dias tem sido sempre a mesma. A
maior possível.

Tenho a sensação que estou cada vez mais próxima do
meu fim. Não creio que conseguirei suportar tantas dores distintas. Mas confesso
que no momento, tem uma específica que me maltrata de verdade.

Engraçado é que a gente pensa que depois da curva
sempre pode existir aquele ponto iluminado. A sua ‘salvação’. Ah, mas nem se
engane ou pelo menos eu não me engano enquanto a isso. O único ponto luminoso
que ainda consigo ver é essa lâmpada aqui de casa e algumas estrelas no céu;
que logo não estarão mais lá por causa do inverno e do tempo &nbsp;nublado. Na verdade, na verdade, o que vem depois da curva
sempre será o abismo. 
Mas depende da sua capacidade de equilibrar-se no pequeno espaço que existe
entre ele e a estrada de seguir em frente.