Desfibrilador de otimismo 
Autor: James Ribeiro | Publicado: 2013-06-14T12:28:00-07:00








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Meus dias obscuros retornaram, mas dessa vez com uma força
descomunal.&nbsp; Eu desisti de tantas
coisas... Essas coisas das quais eu considerei desnecessárias e infrutíferas,
incapazes de progredir, multiplicar ou dividir. Mas, a pior parte dessa sessão de
descarrego, foi à sensação de perda inconsciente. É como se um desfibrilador de otimismo destruísse todos os pensamentos positivos, independente de ser mínimo
ou máximo. Não quero voltar para o buraco fundo e escuro do qual eu fugi, essa
jamais foi a minha verdadeira intenção. Só que, com pausas retroativas, eu me
perco com facilidade em uma floresta negra de segredos contra a dor.&nbsp;



Cavei outro buraco, mas sendo que esse é bem menor, do
tamanho proporcional aos meus pensamentos negativos. Sonhei com o dia em que
chegaria finalmente o momento de enterrá-los, de jogá-los fora sem nunca ter
percebido o quanto não me fazem falta... Mas a vida não é bem assim como as
pessoas pensam. As palavras, extraídas dos meus sentimentos mais íntimos e
profundos, são e sempre será a minha única salvação! A válvula de escapo que
tanto busquei, mas que finalmente encontrei. 






O tempo tornou cada vez mais a minha habilidade de enquadrar
sorrisos um pouco forçado, embora eu acredite ser degenerativo com o passar dos
anos. Eu respiro um ar denso, como um fardo que sou obrigado a aturar pelos
restos dos meus dias. Porém, creio ter uma forma oculta de respirar um ar menos
denso (se é que você me entende). Não me acho estranho, tão pouco me acho
maluco. Apenas gosto de expressar o que sinto sem falar, de uma maneira menos
agressiva e mais suave, transcendendo a voz da alma e do coração. 






Há vezes em que realmente penso que não terei salvação, que
os dias de glória foram eliminados brutalmente. Mas aquele cara lá de cima,
embora aja de maneiras sorrateiras e imprevisíveis, sei que um dia vai me
recompensar por todo o sofrimento que tenho passado. Sei que ele mostrará algo
que ainda não consigo enxergar com esses meus olhos, mas com o seu toque suave
na alma eu saberei que é a minha vez de ser feliz.