Um Novo Olhar
Autor: André Farias | Publicado: 2013-07-22T12:19:00-04:00

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Imagem: zedge.net



Eu estive ausente e descobri na ausência uma
capacidade incrível de me encontrar. Sabe quando você resolve parar um pouco e
olhar para dentro? Pois é, nada mais justo do que encontrar razões suficientes
para não desistir. E não vá pensando que as minhas razões são poucas, também
não pense que existe uma segunda pessoa na história. Nessa altura do campeonato
descobri que preciso só de mim. Não é a toa que agora eu entenda porque sempre
fracassava todas as vezes que metia a cara na rua atrás da felicidade. Quero
dizer que das vezes que me senti feliz, adivinha só, eu estava na minha
companhia... 



Vai soar estranho se eu falar que outrora vivia
“fora de mim”?&nbsp; Talvez você esteja
pensando que isso é coisa de louco, mas não foi por acaso que descobri a beleza
de estar em minha companhia, foi por necessidade mesmo. Sabe quando você
desperta e resolve aceitar que a vida não é previsível, que toda segurança que
fantasiamos ter é na verdade um doce veneno...



Minha memória resolveu lembrar-se de todas as
vezes que desisti de mim por causa de alguém, todas as vezes que tive que matar
um lado meu que eu amava só para agradar quem nunca esteve disposta a fazer o
mesmo. Antes de tudo, agora sei para onde devo olhar, sei quem colocar em
primeiro lugar. Não pense que eu resolvi mudar ou que eu mudei, definitivamente
não! Acho que toda tentativa de mudança não costuma dar certo. Tudo o que tenho
feito é me permitido ser eu, sem culpa nem julgamentos. 



Colocar-me no papel de um idiota incompreendido, me
trocar por alguns amores passageiros, assumir a culpa por erros que não são
meus, isso nunca mais. Sei que agora caminho em um nível mais elevado da minha
existência, é um encontro com o amadurecimento que passou a ser ainda mais
criativo porque fiz por mim e em mim.