O tal do Orgulho
Autor: Carlos Júnior | Publicado: 2012-09-22T01:07:00-03:00

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Nem sei como me tomou parte. Quando dei por mim, simplesmente
não controlava meus pensamentos, meu coração sempre quis dizer algo, porém
minha mente recusava a aceitar tal decisão. Minha boca não salivava, meus olhos
vidravam e nenhuma palavra podia ser dita.

Isso é tão errado, eu mesmo me bloqueio, tenho medo de
arriscar, de perder algo que eu ainda nem conquistei. O assunto era sempre
vida, cotidiano, alguns segredos e confidências, detalhes de infância e gostos
peculiares, surgia de tudo, uma maquiagem criada por mim e por ele.

Porém o inconsciente não deixava de perceber que um novo
sentimento era criado, surgindo em seus mínimos detalhes, em cada telefonema
longo durante a madrugada.

E perdurou por um bom tempo essa mesma situação, e até com
cobranças sem sentido, por que não havia compromisso com nenhum de nós, sabíamos,
mas o sentimento de posse tomava conta.

Em um sábado, numa noite, no sofá da casa de uma amiga.
Aconteceu o que nem consigo descrever ao certo. É simples de dizer, uma ação
normal e supernatural quando rola química entre duas pessoas. Um beijo. O que
esperei muito tempo pra acontecer. É clichê, eu sei, mas pra quem sente algo
mais forte que amizade e não chega nem perto de tesão, é surreal. Fato, foi a
melhor noite que poderia ter. E só.

Depois disso o comportamento mudou, a ação de ignorar tomou
posse. Há sempre alguma coisa no caminho, no meu caminho era meu orgulho. No
caminho dele, talvez poderia ser o passado. E ficou assim até nos
esclarecermos, demorou um pouco, culpo meu orgulho, mas enfim, fazer o quê?

Resolvemos então o que nos impedia de conviver em harmonia.
Opinião e objetivos de ambos estavam em seus conformes. Nosso diálogo retornou
a sua maquiagem inicial, ruim de certo modo, por que nada era dito, como se
nada tivesse acontecido entre nós há um tempo. Temos contato, sintonia, humor,
paciência, mas não criamos coragem de nos aceitar. E sempre retorno ao domínio
total o orgulho de não ceder.

É a vida.

Eu simplesmente tenho medo de não estar com ele pra sempre!