Concha
Autor: Elton Pinheiro | Publicado: 2016-11-04T10:33:00-02:00



Meu peito explodir com a noite, como um sonho
que se acaba, uma pedra de muitas sílabas, a palavra que faz semifusas e o
verbo que transige. Para o cosmos, além da gravidade que nos ilude com tempo,
como uma bomba quando jorra a angústia para longe das coisas que eu sei. Meu
coração rasgar de uma vez, e a tinta acrílica manchar o Caderno de Camburi e a
ressaca do fim do ano for estancada pelo corte epistemológico do Terceiro Píer
e os fãs que te gostavam até o disco furar virarem titãs politizados e lindos que
deletam tua saudade. Para o céu com asas, negras de um abismo que o presente
aceita e os livros inventam histórias onde somos a flautista de leitura
implacável e o pianista que toca de ouvido; subversivos de todas as marchas,
porém diplomáticos no compasso ternário das valsas triviais das escolas. Tanto
mais elegantes nas declinações moralistas de girondinas fugas de Bach quanto enlevados
nas tardes de inverno na praia, onde o pó preto de nuvens de ferro chove na
classe média sem dor as ondas de um Béla Bartók eco dos cantadores em folguedos
populares.


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Se hoje não tenho uma história escrita, com
minha vida a inventei para falar ao Verbo; hoje não quero carinho em meu cabelo
e a conversa na ponta da faca é minha caneta azul. O fundo do mar a recebe.
Também a esta folha diária que por um instante exercita na praia uma flutuação,
sem querer saber da mecânica dos fluidos de Isaac Newton. Hoje perdi toda uma
engrenagem mecânica no drible do baile do corpo que todo homem aprende a saber
suportar. No supermercado Carone acolho a Stella Artois que uma voz [recitando
um poema] disse não ser, de modo algum, uma cerveja feminina. Sou um homem do
tempo dos motores carburados e se na rua a César Hilal é uma orquestra, amparo
a fronte sob o sol lendo a escuta do livro bíblico seguinte, quando somos
atravessados pelas palavras sapienciais, e fonemas também. Gostar do outro é a
pior coisa dessa vida, não existe peça de reposição e sábado de manhã vou à
oficina do Jairo, e brigo com o Zé por causa dos mesmos retentores de óleo. Que
importa isso?, essa porra? A sequência, a série sistêmica de erros, suas noites
e interpretações? Não há uma história em meu quase-livro. E sem uma história
não se faz um romance. – mas o que é um romance? Somos todos História,
prevalecemos, existimos, nossos segredos são publicados, nascemos e morremos em
nós mesmos cada dia sem sobreviver ao que em outro irá descalcificar uma
concha. Desse mar. Esse diário que se expande no tempo com sua capa de ar azul
e que aos poucos dissipa no silêncio até que eu...