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Autor: Inside a Mind | Publicado: 2012-01-02T22:45:00-08:00

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As vezes dano a escrever. Despeço das palavras, e as solto e deixo ir com uma brisa qualquer. A primeira brisa, carregadora de idéias. Mas ai me vem um vazio. Esse vazio, meu Deus, esse não haver. Essa falta que me faz não ter as palavras, outrora desperdiçadas. Então fico oco.Volto e leio o que já escrevi, vem então uma angustia de querer tudo apagado, tudo desfeito. Sinto-me envergonhado, curvado a essa angustia de nunca chegar ao ponto onde quero estar. Será que esse caminho é mesmo regado a palavras? E o vazio, e a face disfarçando o medo. Fico assim, de queixo trêmulo.Pulo a linha, tenho comichões no corpo inteiro, tenho dor de cabeça e pulsações no lombo. Isso parece-me, enfim, coisa da carne. Reclamando, pedindo, suplicando por descaso. Mas meus olhos, teimosas janelas abertas, não querem se fechar! E não se fecham, ainda que eu mande ou ordene. Eles não se fecham. Não se entregam. A batalha, por si só, persiste. As dores, as insônias, os vazios, as horas... Quem vence? Adoraria saber. Daria um reino inteiro para saber, na verdade. Porque eu, quando me achei mais forte, me vi espectador de tudo. Apenas uma alma dentro de um corpo em guerra, assistindo a tudo. Esperando que um lado ceda antes que seja tarde demais.Um dia será tarde demais. De repente, os dois lados desse escritor cairão, exaustos da batalha. Pedirão desculpas um ao outro. &nbsp;Deixarão os ressentimentos, as atrocidades cometidas, e o maldizer dito antes, de lado. Haverão de se unir, em comunhão. E nesse dia, a alma que antes só assistia, perde o interesse. Entediada, deixa a arquibancada vazia, se estende ao mundo e parte. Se vai...