Granada
Autor: Rita Cruz | Publicado: 2014-03-05T17:41:00-08:00



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Culpa. Arrependimento.
Desejo de querer voltar atrás e fazer tudo diferente... São sentimentos
desesperadores que só trazem mais dor.



Mas como domá-los? Como
mudar anos de uma linha de pensamentos negativos? Como conseguir sua
personalidade? Ela não faz parte de você e do que você é? Mas o que fazer
quando isso afeta, não só a você mesmo, mas todas as pessoas a sua volta? 



Para mim é mais fácil, pois sou forçada a
lidar com isso. De certa forma, aprendi a conviver com esses constantes
pensamentos. Posso ter crises sérias e recaídas, mas na maior parte do tempo me
mantenho estável. O problema é a impulsividade, a raiva, o desespero e a
sensação de vazio que vem com as crises. Eu fico irritadiça, hipomaníaca e
depressiva, e infelizmente as pessoas próximas a mim também são atingidas.



Estou lendo A Culpa é
das Estrelas e em um momento a Hazel diz que se sente como uma granada prestes
a explodir e que as pessoas próximas a ela serão afetadas quando ela explodir,
e no seu caso, morrer. Fiquei pensando sobre isso, pois é exatamente como me
sinto. 



Sou uma granada quando
estou em minhas crises. Acumulo mágoas, frustrações e sentimentos negativos e
quando explodo as pessoas próximas a mim são alvejadas.



Eu não sou uma pessoa
ruim, nem nada do tipo. Não desejo mal a ninguém, faço minha parte pra
contribuir com a preservação do meio ambiente, ajudo a pessoas menos favorecidas
quando possuo algum dinheiro na bolsa. Mas sou tratada como o pior dos monstros
nos meus momentos de crises.