Mãos Abertas
Autor: Titto Ferrera | Publicado: 2013-05-22T13:48:00-07:00



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Eu abri mão da minha felicidade porque sei que a felicidade
que eu quero não é a que devo ter. É bem simples: ser racional para ser feliz.
De verdade. Não é só querer satisfazer as necessidades do meu corpo ou do meu
coração, é restringi-las e educa-las. Não é me privar do que pode me dar
prazer, é buscar prazer naquilo que, além de prazer, vai satisfazer meu desejo
por felicidade.



Eu abri mão de ir atrás de quem eu gosto só pelo fato de ser
impulsivo, de ser adepto do “faça o que o coração manda”. Aqui o coração já não
manda mais, ele obedece. É que a cada passo que eu dava atrás daquilo que eu
gostava – achava que gostava – mais um calo aparecia, mais desgastado ficavam
meus pés. É que se até Deus tem planos, como pregam, por que então eu iria me
deixar levar por instintos que eu ainda não sei de onde vêm?



Eu abri mão do prazer que eu sentia quando estava com ele na
cama, e isso por que essa é a parte mais plástica e mais domável. Eu nunca fui
domável nesse quesito. Falando em abrir mãos, elas estão me ajudando e muito
nessa parte. Como se o prazer é fácil, abrir mão dele com ele vai ser mais
fácil.



Dessa vez não tem choro, não tem grito, não tem escândalo. Abri
mão de tudo à surdina, tranquilamente, sem alarde, pra que não volte. Tranquei a
sete chaves, joguei ao mar e deixo ir embora. Deixo levar embora também minha
capacidade de amar com o coração, e nunca mais vou me permitir sofrer, chorar,
gritar ou escandalizar. Vou ser cabeça até o fim, vou amar racionalmente.