E agora, José?
Autor: Luciana Trípoli | Publicado: 2015-08-01T09:41:00-03:00

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Na infância eu fazia planos de aprender a ler e escrever,
andar de bicicleta sem rodinhas laterais, poder andar pela rua sem ter segurar
na mão de um adulto, não ter medo do escuro.

Na adolescência o plano era ser aceita pelo grupo, obter a aprovação
dos demais, aprender a beijar na boca, falar as coisas certas.

Na juventude o negócio era entrar na faculdade, escolher uma
profissão e me sustentar com ela, escolher um parceiro, casar, ter filhos, dar
conta de ser linda, inteligente, bem sucedida, apaixonada, ter a casa impecável
e a família reunida como no comercial de margarina.

Na idade adulta o plano era lidar com todo esse enguiço que
eu arrumei e sair da encrenca com o menor dano possível, descasar, casar de
novo, ter mais filho, cuidar da cabeça dos que eu já tinha, recomeçar sem
grana, mudar de cidade.

Em tudo isso eu imaginava que, na casa dos cinquenta anos,
tudo já estaria feito, conquistado e sedimentado e que então era só relaxar e
desfrutar.

Só que não. Descobri que pouco mudou com exceção do acúmulo
de rugas, e que os planos continuam a ser feitos, as coisas continuam
efervescentes e a dinâmica da vida é essa mesmo: instabilidade!

O ninho vai esvaziando aos poucos, as parcerias vão se
modificando e a gente (agora com muito mais conhecimento de si mesmo) vai
compreendendo quem é, o que pode querer da vida e, principalmente, o que não quer.

E tem que sentar de novo à beira da janela, olhando o céu de
estrelas, e sonhar com o futuro, com os novos planos, com novos encontros e
desencontros que a vida vai trazer. 

E tem que suspirar com frio na barriga pelo desconhecido,
com pulmões cheios de ar e de energia pelo inevitável e se perguntar
sinceramente: e agora, José?