Nada Além da Dor 
Autor: Isadora Sodré Meirelles | Publicado: 2012-07-08T13:52:00-07:00

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    Tudo calmo, já devem passar das três horas da manhã, ouço a chuva caindo lá
fora, batendo em minha janela, suavemente, diferente da dor que esmaga meu
peito, a chuva é calma, tranquila, serena e me conforta, presto atenção nela
para tentar me esquecer da magoa, da aflição e da angustia que sinto.
Estou sozinha, encolhida em minha cama, no escuro, escondida em baixo das
cobertas... Mas não posso me esconder do sofrimento, sou fraca, não consigo
impedir as lagrimas que insistem em rolar por meu rosto. Tento não fazer barulho,
não quero acordar ninguém, não quero que me vejam assim, prefiro sofrer
sozinha!
A chuva fina, caindo no telhado, batendo nas janelas, é o único barulho em
minha casa, e faz com que eu sinta que não estou só... É como outro choro.
Me levanto devagar, está frio e ao tirar a coberta me arrepio , mas isso não me
importa, abro a porta de vagar e saio do quarto, o corredor ainda mais frio,
sigo até a sala. 
Fico ali um tempo, olhando pela janela, a chuva caindo, batendo nas arvores, na
terra do jardim, no chão da varanda, ouço o uivo do vento passando entre os
galhos das arvores, como se fossem apitos, e por alguns minutos fico calma, as
lagrimas em meus olhos começam a rolar mais de vagar.
Sigo, caminhando de vagar até a porta, apoio minha mão na maçaneta de ferro,
gelada, destranco a porta e abro-a de vagar. O vento gelado brinca com meus
cabelos, e começo a trincar os dentes. Sinto a água salgada em meu rosto
secando, caminho então para fora.
Os pingos de chuva começam a me alcançar, frios e nada aconchegantes.&nbsp; Não demorou muito e eu estava ensopada,
tremendo... Mas o frio que eu sentia, conseguia fazer, mesmo que por alguns
instantes, que eu esquecesse minha dor. 
E eu fiquei ali, longos minutos, entregue ao vento e a chuva, de olhos
fechados, desejando que eles pudessem me curar e levar com eles minha dor, assim
me tornar uma nova pessoa, quem sabe mais forte? Ou mais segura? Corajosa talvez?
Mas as coisas não funcionam assim, nossas dores não podem ser lavadas, ou
carregadas pelo vento.
Já deviam ser umas cinco horas quando resolvi entrar em casa novamente, devo
ter ficado uma longa hora entregue a chuva fria e nada acalentadora, não queria
pensar em nada, só queria que esta dor começasse a se extinguir, não era mais suportável
viver desta forma, se é que posso chamar isso de viver.
Não tinha mais forças para lutar, nem vontade de sorrir, me faltava coragem
para enfrentar, e cada vez mais eu me perdia, perdia para a dor que me
consumia, me impedia de dormir, de sonhar...