Conto de um garoto solitário
Autor: Iago G. | Publicado: 2013-02-14T19:34:00-08:00

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A maldição de todo escritor é ser
atormentado pelas palavras, antes e depois de tê-las conectado para criar algo.
Como qualquer escritor, eu estou aqui, mesmo sendo de madrugada, sendo obrigado
por mim mesmo a escrever um conto. Esse que está logo abaixo.



Garoto solitário

&nbsp;


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Era uma vez um garoto solitário.

Desde pequeno ele se mudava de
casa bastante. Só em escolas, estudou em mais de quinze. Por isso, ele nunca
conseguiu firmar uma grande amizade. Entretanto, vocês não devem se enganar,
ele era um garoto exemplar.

Para alguns “um absurdo de fofo”,
ele sempre foi um garoto de bom coração. Esse garoto era carinhoso, cuidava dos
seus amigos e conseguia demonstrar tanta ternura e amor que conseguia assustar.
Além disso, ele sempre foi muito inteligente, com notas exemplares; uma ótima
visão de mundo e uma maturidade difícil e ser explicada sem o conhecer
profundamente.

Mas, repetindo, ele era um garoo
solitário. Ou, pelo menos, sempre se sentiu assim.

A maioria das crianças resolve o
problema da solidão inventando amigos imaginários, mas o nosso garoto foi além.
Ele criou novas personalidades que, com o passar do tempo, se tornaram tão
reais quanto ele. Entendam que não se trata de um caso de dupla personalidade
como vocês conhecem, ele conseguia coexistir com suas personalidades, como
apenas conselheiros e não almas diferentes tentando tomar o controle.

Duas personalidades foram
criadas, uma completamente positiva e uma completamente negativa. Como o
diabinho e o anjinho na consciência dos desenhos infantis. 

Ele sempre achou que a culpa era
única e exclusivamente sua por sua solidão. Ele sempre acreditou que não era
bom o bastante para ser grande amigo de ninguém, que havia algo errado com ele,
sua personalidade positiva tentava convencê-lo do contrário, mas sua personalidade
negativa sempre confirmava e jogava na cara do garoto os possíveis defeitos que
causavam sua solidão. Como o garoto estava triste, ele se sentia inclinado a
acreditar na sua personalidade negativa.

Eram argumentos comuns “você é
feio demais para alguém querer se aproximar de você”, “você é bonzinho demais,
as pessoas só se aproximam, usam você enquanto você é útil e depois te
descartam porque você só serve mesmo para ser usado”.

Pobre garoto, ele aprendeu tanto,
mas esqueceu de aprender sobre si mesmo. Seu único problema era a falta de amor
próprio, sua falta de alto estima. Era comum você vê-lo por aí em uma conversa
qualquer, expondo seus defeitos e sua desesperança, que havia absorvido após
tanto escutar de “si mesmo”. 

Ele conseguia sim afastar as
pessoas, mas não era pelo que sua personalidade negativa dizia e sim pelo ar de
depressão que ele vez ou outra conseguia passar. Era uma energia tão triste e
pesada que conseguia fazer qualquer um duvidar se valeria ou não a pena ficar
perto dele.

Atualmente ele entende isso, mas
continua se sentindo sozinho. Provavelmente porque alguns dias de afirmação não
são suficientes para mudar mais de 10 anos de dúvida. O importante é que hoje
ele é capaz de entender que não importa o quanto você ama as outras pessoas se
você não é capaz de se amar.

&nbsp;