Aselha
Autor: Shana Corrêa | Publicado: 2013-07-09T14:24:00-07:00

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Tudo começou enquanto eu não estava vendo. Foi acontecendo
assim, em uma celeridade descomunal. Não deu tempo pra pensar, não deu tempo
sequer de perceber. Quando vi já havia capitaneado. Assim, com a brevidade das
grandes agonias, com a falta de serenidade como a causada pela insânia, com a
presunção dos grandes amantes, com a fúria das grandes paixões, com o crepitar
dos maiores dos incêndios e com a bravura das ascendentes borrascas. Como não
tive o ensejo necessário para revidar, permiti. Verdadeiramente nem sei se de
fato cheguei a permitir, uma vez que sequer creio ter tipo tempo para isso. Fui
levada em uma oscilante corrente de ordinárias falácias, onde deixei-me
enganar. Sabendo bem das meias verdades, tendo total conhecimento acerca do
clichê ali presente, curti. Aproveitando o momento oportuno para apenas permitir
o engano, esquecer que tudo é efêmero e permitir que me enganassem. Confesso
que não é de todo ruim. As vezes sinto que preciso esquecer o intelecto e
apenas render-me aos prazeres, não somente aos da carne, esses se tornaram por
demais encontradiços ultimamente. Digo dos prazeres menos lembrados, aqueles que
fingi por muito tempo (séculos talvez) não precisar.Me envolvi, me peguei como
criança, como adolescente, como abécula, aselha. Como pude ser tão tola? Mas
fui, sou, tenho sido, não sei como sair, estou presa como em uma teia, como em
uma parede de concreto. Olho para a frente e não vejo a saída, onde estão as
portas? Olho para o lado e o vejo, ausente e onipresente. Já não penso em outra
cousa, já perdi o meu sossego, e lutei tanto por ele. Não é admissível que este
me seja furtado assim com tamanha facilidade. Não quero voltar a ser o que já
deixei para trás. Não aceito ser o clichê que tanto critiquei. Se a beleza não
é o seu forte, a vaidade não auxilia (muito embora seja presente), suas glórias
pouco se me dão, seu texto tão batido, tão usado, reaproveitado de filmes baratos
e sua moral... Tão vil, infame tão refece. E eu que tanto odeio literatura módica
tento sair dessa,Julia ou Sabrina que se tornou a minha vida.