New stuff, old me!
Autor: Jihatsu Okami | Publicado: 2012-07-04T01:46:00-03:00

Hello everyone! ^^



&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I know there have been years i don't show up here, but time to time I need to come and write something! I'm not into a good mood today, but even though i wanna say something about what's going on lately in my life!

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; So many things have changed! I finally meet a some new people (and they're very crazy, and funny and cute!). I am now the "manager" of a cosplay group from slipknot called "Sickness RJ" and when we're together rehearsing it's sooooo funny! I love it too much! They are like therapy for me, they me make me laugh, the make me feel really good, they became like drugs to me, because I'm very addicted to all of them.

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; In that group there are some guys I'd like to be a closer friend, but i must say it's hard to get closer to them... I think they're not used to have a female friend as a good/best friend... =/ Well you know... at same time they make me feel good, they make me feel bad... Some feelings come up and i don't like to feel those feelings again...
&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Anyway! Despite all of that, in my house keep being like hell... The problems just get worst x.x Sometime I just don't think i can handle with everything, I disappear from world and hide myself until I can cry enough to make me feel renewed... To forget it i just study like there's no tomorrow! Sometimes, just sometimes, i'd like to have a boyfriend to support me on those hard moments... But how i do not have anyone, and anyone look at me... That is something i must learn alone how to deal with.
&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Well, about self-esteem&nbsp;i keep the thoughts I'm ugly, a bored person and all the usual bla bla bla from someone who doesn't like herself. I must confess that sometimes i do get revolted, because i know I'm ugly, but not THAT UGLY but the guys keep not looking to me... And even I' m being so lively, i don't have courage enough to flirt with anyone... Say what you want... Guys just want bodies... I'm fat and they never look to me! Just girls and women... I should have birthed lesbian or bisexual, you know? o.õ
&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I know i won't get a boyfriend until the day i get thin... But to improve all my problems, my hormonal disease makes me have a really slow metabolism, my body just refuse to burn fat! Cool, isn't it? 8D! ¬¬" No way! I might live alone my whole life you know? Bad luck as always x.x &nbsp;But... hm...to tell you the truth, i reckon it won't be good to have a boyfriend... I have too many problems in my life, I cannot bring anyone to my house... It's prohibited and if you go to your boyfriend's house you're seeing like a whore... x.x Oh! Society! How i hate you! =) &nbsp;Yeah i might live my life alone! x.x
&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I must go now! Need to wake up ate 5:20 Am and It's 1:40 AM!
I'm leaving here a dance music video:


And just for the record! I'm crazy for rock music, but i do love K-pop! =)