Abraxas
Autor: Elisa | Publicado: 2017-01-24T16:34:00-08:00


&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; E nesse ponto abrasou-me de repente como aguda chama a
revelação definitiva: todo homem tinha uma “missão”, mas ninguém podia escolher
a sua, delimitá-la ou administrá-la a seu prazer. Era errôneo querer novos
deuses, era completamente errôneo querer dar algo ao mundo. Para o homem
consciente só havia um dever: procurar-se a si mesmo, afirmar-se em si mesmo e
seguir sempre adiante o seu próprio caminho, sem se preocupar com o fim a que
possa conduzi-lo. Tal descoberta comoveu-me profundamente e foi para mim como o
fruto daquela vivência. Muitas vezes havia brincado com imagens do futuro e
havia entressonhado os destinos que me estavam reservados, como poeta talvez ou
talvez como profeta, como pintor, ou de que modo fosse. E tudo isso era um
equívoco. Eu não existia para fazer versos, para rezar ou para pintar. Nem eu
nem nenhum homem existíamos para isso. Tudo era secundário. O verdadeiro ofício
de cada um era apenas chegar até si mesmo. Depois, podia acabar poeta ou louco,
profeta ou criminoso. Isso já não era coisa sua, e além de tudo, em última
instância, carecia de todo alcance. Sua missão era encontrar seu próprio
destino, e não qualquer um, e vive-lo inteiramente até o fim. Tudo o mais era
ficar a meio do caminho, era retroceder para refugiar-se no ideal da
coletividade, era adaptação e medo da própria individualidade interior. Essa
nova imagem ergueu-se claramente diante de mim, terrível e sagrada, mil vezes
vislumbrada, talvez já expressa alguma vez, mas somente agora vivida. Eu era um
impulso da natureza, um impulso em direção ao incerto, talvez do novo, talvez
do nada, e minha função era apenas deixar que esse impulso atuasse, nascido das
profundezas primordiais, sentir em mim sua vontade de fazê-lo meu por completo.
Esta, e somente esta, era a minha função. 

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Eu havia provado a fundo a solidão. Mas agora pressentia uma
solidão ainda mais profunda, e pressentia-a inevitável.


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Herman Hesse, Demian, p.148.