De volta pra casa.
Autor: Cathy | Publicado: 2014-03-08T00:31:00-03:00

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Eu só
queria “voltar para casa”! Eu só queria uma única chance de voltar para o “meu lar”, para o único lugar no mundo onde eu fui inteira,
integra e até feliz! 'Anjo, onde estás que não vieste segurar a minha mão
tremula enquanto eu chorava por você? Por que não estás neste mundo?' 




Eu não
paro de pensar nas cinzas, nas cinzas das memórias que já se foram, nas cinzas
de um futuro que nunca chegará, nas cinzas do meu pai derramadas sob o solo
fértil que ele mesmo plantou - com seu suor e dedicação! Porque, no final, tudo
vira cinza! Porque no final as lembranças dos dias azuis são tudo que
carregaremos nesta bagagem invisível do existir! 




Eu sei o
quão perversa eu posso ser, eu sei o quão fundo as palavras podem atingir, e
pior, o quanto o silencio pode destruir! Eu já estive “do outro lado da quadra” e deste
mesmo jogo! Mas agora eu desisti de jogar ‘limpo’ e apenas vou jogar para
sobreviver! Cansei... Não sei! Resolvi me permitir.






“I was in your arms thinking I belonged there. I
figured it made sense. Building me a fence. Building me a home. Thinking I'd be
strong there. But I was a fool. Playing by the rules”.






Que saudade dos teus braços, das tuas mãos, do teu amor indelével,
meu pai! Que vontade de renascer de novo em você! Que saudade de ser criança
nos teu colo protetor e observar, avidamente, as tuas palavras, me ensinando a
ser paciente, a ser honesta, a ser esperta, a ser uma atleta! Ensinando-me a
ser feliz! Que saudade de jogar com você, nos tabuleiros, nas quadras, na vida!
Que saudade de tudo que eu nunca mais poderei viver ao teu lado, desde que
estavas ainda aqui, ceifado de si mesmo, em um ‘casulo’ fragilizado, onde eu
não podia mais te encontrar.




Que saudade de casa!