UM PASSEIO PARA NÃO ESQUECER
Autor: Léo Ustárroz | Publicado: 2016-04-07T19:50:00-03:00

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Olha só o que me aconteceu ontem à noite. Eu tinha
relatado em meu blog uma história que se passou lá em Bagé, parece que na
década de 90. Meu único interesse era o registro histórico, talvez contar sobre
o golpe do baú e da barriga, para que os jovens saibam sobre essas coisas. Só
isso. E também postei, no Face, um link para o texto.





Mas depois que postei — e eu já estava meio
desconfiado antes mesmo — achei que eu tinha me atrapalhado, pois as pessoas
estavam entendendo coisas que eu não escrevi. Eu sei que depois que a gente
escreve, o texto é do leitor, mas não estava muito legal.




Primeiro, achei estranho a quantidade de curtidas
e comentários, no Face. Nunca tinha me ocorrido isso. Pensei até que havia
postado foto de gatinhos, ou cachorrinhos, essas coisas que são super curtidas.
E também recebi um monte de mensagens — aquelas inbox, acho que é assim que se escreve inbox — de gente dizendo que preferia não ler sobre o assunto do
título, e que eu me preservasse. Sinceramente, não entendi nada.




As onze e tanto da noite fui deitar, pois o
assunto estava me cansando — tinha algum significado que eu não conseguia
captar —, e o vinho que tomei também me mandava para a cama.




Mas aí é que veio o pior.&nbsp;

&nbsp;.
Lá pelas tantas, meu
celular tocou na sala e — como um sonâmbulo — fui lá atender. Prefixo 61,
número desconhecido. — Alô! — eu disse. E o cara do outro lado da linha, com
voz de locutor, pediu confirmação de meu nome, endereço, CPF. Eu não respondi
tudo e perguntei quem é que estava falando. Ele não me ouviu e continuou.
Perguntou educadamente se eu poderia ir à Brasília, e que em meu e-mail estava
o bilhete do voo com localizador, e que o assunto era de interesse da Presidência.




Eu pensei: — Que besteira fiz? — e fui aos
e-mails. Lá estava o tal bilhete do voo da GOL que sairia as seis e pouco da
manhã com retorno as cinco e tanto da tarde. Pelo menos, voos diretos. Olhei o
relógio, eram quatro e quinze da madrugada, mas se eu ia mesmo à Brasília, nem
voltaria para a cama. Dormiria depois no avião.




Para encurtar a história: eu fui. No aeroporto
tinha um motorista com uma placa com o meu nome. Me dei conta que estávamos de
roupa igual, até a gravata. Pensei: — E se ele achar que eu vim para assumir o
seu lugar? —. Mas não! O cara era legal.

Eu nunca tinha estado em Brasília, somente uma
vez fiz uma conexão no aeroporto, em trânsito para Porto de Galinhas, lá sim é
que é bom. 




Fomos direto ao Palácio do Planalto, me
esperavam outros dois engravatados. Disseram que tinham gostado muito da
postagem NÃO VAI TER GOLPE. Eu vi que tinha confusão na área, e perguntei se
tinham lido até o final. Não, só leram o título e o primeiro parágrafo. Não têm
tempo, e se tivessem, nem conseguiriam entender textos com mais de 140
caracteres. Pensei: — Estou enrascado, entenderam tudo errado! —. Vi que, em
torno de nós, uma senhora dava voltas de bicicleta, acompanhada por dois
seguranças. E sorria para mim, mostrando os simpáticos dentinhos.




Eles perguntaram: — De que lado o senhor está? —
Olhei o saguão, a porta de vidro enorme, e, sem entender muito bem a pergunta
disse que agora estava do lado de dentro, mas que tinha vindo lá de fora. E
apontei para a rua. Acho que não entenderam, pois se olharam com cara de
patetas, e insistiram: — Sim, mas o senhor está do nosso lado? — . Que conversa
de loucos, pensei, mas insisti em falar a verdade, respondi que não, pois estava no meio
deles, então eles é que estavam do meu lado.




Já um pouco desacomodados —
todos nós — perguntaram o que eu fazia. Notei que a senhora da bicicleta já
não estava mais lá, e lembrei do coelho de Alice, “é tarde, é tarde, é tarde até
que arde. Ai, ai, meu Deus! Alô, adeus! É tarde, é tarde, é tarde!”. Disse a
eles que estava meio confuso com tudo aquilo, que aceitara o convite de ir à
Brasília porque fora acordado abruptamente no meio da noite e não pensara
direito. Que trabalhava, tinha família bem constituída, pagava os impostos quase todos, e que também
frequentava um curso livre para escritores, na Metamorfose Cursos. E que tinha
escrito aquele texto por influência do curso.




Pediram licença e se retiraram
por uns quinze minutos. Voltaram sorrindo e amáveis, dizendo que só agora leram
minha história toda, gostaram muito, e a Presidenta também. Mandara lembranças,
tinha me achado muito simpático e afirmara que não ia ter golpe, mesmo! E que
enviasse a ela meus textos.




Chamaram o motorista que me trouxera do aeroporto,
e instruíram que me mostrasse o Palácio, o Senado e a Câmara, que almoçássemos no restaurante dos congressistas, e que depois desse um giro pela cidade
— sem esquecer o lago —, antes de me devolver ao aeroporto. Eu aceitei com
gosto, mas antes tirei meu relógio e protegi bem minha carteira, pois ouvi
falar que em Brasília não se usa andar com valores.




Agradeci aos patetas pela experiência, e
fiquei mais à vontade com o motorista, eu teria mais assunto com ele do que com
aquele caras. Quando o passeio estava ficando interessante, ouvi um barulho
estridente ao meu lado.

.




Droga! Sentia cansaço, meu sono
fora muito agitado, e já era hora de acordar de novo! Mesmo sem lembrar dos
sonhos que tivera, decidi nunca mais postar no Face coisas daquelas, que
falassem em golpe, ou impichamento de quem quer que seja. 




Bem que uns amigos tinham
comentado, eu estava me expondo demais. 






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  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
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   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
  
  
 
<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>

 /* Style Definitions */
 table.MsoNormalTable
 {mso-style-name:"Tabela normal";
 mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
 mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
 mso-style-noshow:yes;
 mso-style-priority:99;
 mso-style-qformat:yes;
 mso-style-parent:"";
 mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
 mso-para-margin-top:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-right:0cm;
 mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
 mso-para-margin-left:0cm;
 line-height:115%;
 mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
 font-size:11.0pt;
 font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
 mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
 mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
 mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
 mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
 mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}

<![endif]-->



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nomes, pessoas, fatos e situações da vida real, ou sentimentos pessoais, terá
sido mera coincidência.)