Hope...
Autor: Silvia Angélica Palma | Publicado: 2014-05-17T20:09:00-03:00



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Expectativa: esperar, desejar, ter esperança....



Diz a lenda que a pior coisa para um relacionamento é
quando um dos envolvidos cria expectativas. Falsas ou verdadeiras expectativas,
o fato é que projetar qualquer coisa para o futuro pode ser o primeiro passo
para a falha do tal projeto. O que a lenda reza, contudo, é contrário do que
prega a lógica. Pelo raciocínio matemático, tudo o que precisa ser fundado,
construído, edificado, precisa antes de um plano, uma expectativa. É que mais
do que uma projeção do futuro, a expectativa é uma esperança, uma aposta
benevolente no universo. E nos dois cenários possíveis (criar ou não criar expectativas), o não amar é sempre
mais doloroso, podem acreditar.



Era a expectativa o que me fazia acreditar, queda após
queda, que o próximo amor seria melhor, mais intenso, mais profundo, mais pra
sempre. E era isso que me enchia de coragem para enfrentar tantas decepções
quanto fossem necessárias, até ver meu sonho falhar de novo ou triunfar enfim.Mas o que eu tenho hoje é a falta de esperança de quem não
espera nada. De quem não espera encontrar o amor, esbarrando ombros numa livraria.
De quem não espera se apaixonar no primeiro beijo. De quem não espera ser
apresentada por uma amiga. De quem não espera fixar o olhar em alguém no meio
de uma multidão. De quem não espera o tempo certo, por que está cansada,
decepcionada, desestimulada.



Eu acreditava que não criar expectativas deixaria a vida
mais leve, o caminho mais fácil. E no começo é essa a falsa sensação de
liberdade que temos. Mas depois percebemos que essa leveza é passageira e que
esse desapego nos preenche de um imenso vazio, tão vasto, que fica difícil
alguém entrar nesse espaço de novo. A falta de expectativas nos distancia da
capacidade de incluir o outro na nossa vida, de pensar no plural e enxergar que
alguém pode andar ao nosso lado. A falta de expectativas nos priva dessa
vontade de imaginar em 2 segundos, nossa vida inteira com outra pessoa, e nessa
falta de planos, não apostamos, fundamos, edificamos nem construímos nada. Nem
prédios, nem amor.