Os presentes ideais que jamais te darei
Autor: Marianna Mauerwerk, | Publicado: 2012-12-13T13:02:00-02:00

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Chegam as datas especiais e com elas aquela vontade de
dar presentes para você. Talvez porque só tenha te dado aquele livro do Batman,
de um jeito tão corrido e feio, queira te encher de mimos.



Ou talvez seja porque em qualquer lugar que eu vá
encontre alguma coisa que me lembra você e que sei que você gostaria. O Natal é
um horror: as lojas cheias de coisinhas que ficariam lindas em você, no seu
quarto, no seu cantinho. Na FNAC ontem tinham uns cartazes enormes e
emoldurados; tenho certeza que o dos Vingadores ficaria lindo em cima da sua
bancada. E depois, quando fossemos morar juntos, ele ficaria superbonito no
corredor de entrada, pra já deixar claro o tipo de casal que somos.



Esses pequenos fragmentos da história que jamais
escreveremos surgem na minha cabeça com mais frequência nessas épocas (Natal,
Páscoa, Dia das Crianças, seu aniversário, meu aniversário, nosso aniversário).
Fico com uma certa nostalgia de um tempo que nunca existiu e que nem irá se
criar daqui um tempo. Já não penso se você terá isso com outra pessoa (ou tem
já), e nem doi mais, mas mesmo assim são pensamentos de certa forma incômodos e
gostosos ao mesmo tempo.



É como um moletom antigo, manchado, rasgado, pequeno
demais para vestir, mas que às vezes você coloca só pra sentir a sensação de
conforto que ele proporciona, e que já nem é tanta assim. Já não dá para usá-lo
na rua, está calor demais para vesti-lo em casa e o fato de estar apertado
incomoda depois de um tempo. Mas mesmo assim não dá para jogar fora, doar para
outra pessoa toda a história que aquele pedacinho de pano carrega.



Então ele fica assim: no fundo do armário, limpo,
cheiroso, marcado com todas as cicatrizes que você me deixou, mas muito querido
e insubstituível.