Autor: Alice Lee | Publicado: 2013-12-04T17:51:00-03:00

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Essa é Ester.







Com sete anos de idade quis ser
astronauta, não deu. Quis correr por campos de flores, não encontrou -- também
não procurou muito. Quis cantar para milhares de pessoas, não sabia, não podia
-- desistiu. Durante toda sua infância brincou sozinha com suas bonecas,
cresceu e se acostumou a viver também sozinha, com seus personagens, suas
histórias, suas divagações. Aos dez encontrou um palhaço encostado à lona no
fundo do circo que disse a ela que a vida não tinha graça. Aos catorze pensou
ter sentido o amor e chorou patética crendo piamente que aquilo nunca iria
passar - e passou. Aos dezesseis sonhava em subir até o topo de uma torre
telefônica que havia na sua cidade -- foi morar em outra cidade, nunca subiu a
um lugar tão alto quanto àquela torre, mas ainda sonhava. Aos dezessete
rodopiava pela casa ouvindo músicas e sonhando em ser livre como um pássaro.
Nunca teve um sonho [desses que se sonha dormindo] que fizesse sentido. Passou
cinco anos sem amar, embora ninguém tivesse quebrado o seu coração em pedaços.
Aos vinte possuía dezenas de enormes sonhos no peito e nas mãos quase nada do
que havia esperado para o futuro. Mas isso ninguém viu.

E nada disso importa agora. 

Aos vinte
e um ela caminhava à noite pela rua pensando em jogar tudo para o alto e ir
viver a vida como se cada dia fosse o último, quando foi surpreendida por um
caminhão que não deixou intacta quase nenhuma parte de sua casca chamada Ester
- que já não parecia Ester, mas que nunca foi Ester --. Ester já não existia,
ela costumava ser um conjunto de órgãos e pensamentos e principalmente
sonhos.&nbsp;Enquanto a multidão toda se aproximava para ver o ocorrido, algo
sem cor subia e explodia no céu azul escuro daquela noite sem estrelas, eram
seus sonhos -- mas isso ninguém viu.