metamorfose
Autor: renee_br | Publicado: 2012-07-24T20:54:00-03:00

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Às vezes pequenas coisas, mas coisa muito pequenas mesmo,
causam revoluções. Uma palavra ouvida, dita por pessoas desconhecidas, uma
frase em um livro de ficção, uma forma, uma cor, faz algo ligar, com um estalo,
dentro do cérebro.

Hoje percebi que não sou quem sou, mas que sou uma reação
desesperada aos estímulos que recebo do mundo. Que sou um patético personagem
de um drama psicológico barato, que tenta criar em seu mundo o que nunca
recebeu das outras pessoas de sua vida. Hoje percebi que o único terreno sólido
sob meus pés é aquele que eu mesma construí sacrificando a melhor parte de mim.
Cansei! 

Quero viver na areia movediça, quero me afogar a cada passo e
ainda assim continuar caminhando, sem auto censura, sem ligar pro que é certo e
o que é errado. Responsabilidade é a âncora da vida. 

Sem esperar que o homem que eu cismei ser o amor da minha
vida largue a esposa e os filhos pra ficar comigo, sentimentos mentirosos. Ele não um amor, é apenas
uma fantasia que criei pra sobreviver ao meu período de cativeiro. Que ele
chore a perda da minha ilusão defensiva. It´s over. 

Rejeito o peso que puseram sobre mim. Rejeito todos os pesos
que eu mesma pus sobre mim. não sou responsável por ninguem, não tenho que apartar brigas, sem equilibrar egos frageis. Sou o que sou, criativa, pulsante, fria, distante,
alegre, egoísta, cruel, feia, gorda, inacessível, escorregadia, desejada, ridícula,
rica, pobre, enigmática, invejada, selvagem, mandona, extremamente inteligente, de verbo e mente soltos.

Não quero mais fazer sentido.