Flutuar e aterrissar
Autor: Celo Velloso | Publicado: 2017-02-08T16:17:00-02:00


Tinha
terapia hoje. Nada interessante para dizer. Ia olhar para a cara do terapeuta,
contar as histórias que já venho relatando a ele via celular. Ele ia dizer as
mesmas coisas de sempre. Não me lembro, no momento, o que ele sempre me diz e
não quero pensar, não quero parar o fluxo do meu raciocínio.



Até
sair com o Fred eu recusei. De repente, de uma hora para a outra tudo fica meio
distante.



Ontem
foi assim, indo para a faculdade, prestar o vestibular, senti algo estranho
saindo da minha cabeça. Como se alguém a tivesse destampado. Então,
imediatamente, me senti aéreo, mas tentei com todas as forças possíveis não “voar”.
Era necessário estar “com os pés no chão”, lúcido, consciente, para não errar
na prova.



Depois
da prova fui visitar meus avós. Contei ã minha avó que havia feito a prova e
ela reagiu da maneira que escrevi na última postagem. Depois, à noite, brinquei
com o meu irmão mais novo (seis anos) e voei. Eu estava lá. Senti alegria em
estar brincando com ele. Dor na coluna – coisa de velho (rs) – mas a sensação
de ser tudo um sonho permanecia. Depois, na hora do banho, essa sensação
começou a me incomodar, não queria ir para a cama flutuando. Não pensei muito
nela para não a potencializar. Acabei indo dormir bem.


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Acordei
cedo. Resultado: senti um enorme cansaço por volta das 11h e adormeci,
acordando às 13h. Cansado. Frouxo. Não deu para ir à terapia. Não deu para
encontrar com o Fred.