Don’t ask me why I don’t have kids, or why I haven’t yet. What in the actual hell makes that ANY of your business? If you don’t know me well enough to know the answer to that question, then you probably shouldn’t be asking. Not to mention that it might not even be my preference to not have procreated at this point, but that there is something I’m dealing with, be it mental or physical. Having seen many of my loved ones go though hell and back while trying to start a family, from infertility to difficulties affording or even attempting IVF or adoption (many times due to restrictions based on their sexual orientation and/or single status, don’t even get me started) these were very personal, very painful times that, I am sure, they would not want to share with a stranger, or even an acquaintance. I am SURE of it. So don’t ask. And don’t give me that judgmental eye, either. Please. Just don’t. I’m tired of feeling ashamed, or like I have to give a good reason, or seeing all of the pitying, quizzical looks flying my way and thinking ‘Maybe I’m way off here, maybe I WILL regret it, maybe I really DO want kids’ just because you think I should. That ends now. And so should these unwanted questions.
Don’t attempt to justify your rude attempt at intrusion into my personal life by saying, ‘Oh, but you’d be a wonderful mother’. Awww, how nice. You’re throwing a compliment in the mix to make it look like you’re not rudely prying into my life. I have a question for you: would you have asked my husband that question, or followed it with that statement? I know he would be a WONDERFUL father, he is an exemplary husband, and I married him for all of those wonderful qualities. But I have a feeling you don’t see his worth as a man quite as wrapped up in his role as a potential father as you do mine as a woman and mother, and I resent that. More than a little bit. I am just as much a whole person in every way as any mother, and not using my reproductive organs or being a mother in a traditional sense has no bearing on that. The same goes with adoptive mothers, single parents, gay mothers and fathers, foster families, extended families caring for nieces and nephews and cousins, and the million other configurations of families out there. Not to mention that I appreciate and admire the qualities that say ‘mother’ to us as a culture, and I find myself stepping into that role in many ways in my life, ways that don’t include having my own children, that fulfill that need in me. I mother my cats, most of my friends, I nag my own mother on a daily basis, the list goes on and on – and I’m happy with that.
Please. Don’t judge me or people like me for my personal choice to not have children at this point in my life. I have the world’s COOLEST niece, with whom I am madly in love. A lot of my friends and family have little ones, and all of them are awesome kids with equally awesome parents. Tom teaches children all day long, but he comes home to a quiet adult home, and loves it. This does not make us bad people. This does not mean we hate kids. This, also, does not mean we judge you and your choices when it comes to procreating and parenting, quite the opposite – I celebrate your mother-and-fatherhood, and honor your commitment to do all that it takes to raise a child. Taking that on is no joke, and I am amazed and humbled by my own parents and the parents around me constantly. I recognize and respect your decisions, and in return, I would be thankful if you did the same with mine. Because to me, support and respect, not judgement and negativity, will get women further beyond the glass ceiling than we will ever get if we continue to draw lines amongst ourselves. Mother or child-free, religious or atheist, rich or poor, none of it matters. Because Moms rule, but so do I.
19 Mar	This entry was published on March 19, 2015 at 6:16 pm. It’s filed under Bitchin' and tagged children, Feminism, motherhood, Parenting, Women.	Bookmark the permalink.	Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.	
Rebecca Mader (born Apr 24 1977, Coldham`s Lane, Cambridge) is an English actress who has appeared on several American television series. She played the role of Morgan Gordon on All My Children for about a dozen episodes, and in the fall of 2006 was a regular cast member of the Fox legal drama, Justice. Beginning in 2008, Mader starred as anthropologist Charlotte Lewis on ABC`s Lost. Mader worked as a model in New York for a year, appearing in adverts for L`Oréal, Colgate and Wella Hair.
Rebecca Leigh Mader (born April 24, 1977) is an English actress, best known for her roles as Charlotte Lewis in the ABC series Lost, and as Zelena, the Wicked Witch of the West, on ABC's Once Upon a Time.
If there is something about atoms from grade school science class that may have stuck, it’s likely the assertation that atoms are invisible to the naked eye.
Well, a recent photo, taken by David Nadlinger, dispells that concept. The photo, titled Single Atom In An Ion Trap shows a single strontium atom floating in an electric field and is large enough to see without a microscope. It won Nadlinger the top prize at a science photo competition, appropriately called the 2018 Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council science photography competition.
The photograph was taken in an Oxford University lab. Here’s now Nadlinger did it: he used two metal electrodes, spaced two millimeters apart, to hold the strontium atom almost motionless.
Speaking of the type of atom (and going back to those school days), there are over 109 different types of atoms, one for each element on the periodic table.
Nadlinger used a strontium atom because of its size — its made up of 38 protons and has a diameter of a whopping few millionths of a millimeter.
This trick of hitting the atom with a high powered laser makes the atom much brighter. It also makes the electrons that orbit the atom become more energized. Occasionally, the energized electrons give off light. When they give off enough light, it makes it possible for a camera to capture the atom.
Even with all that work, and even though the atom is visible, it still isn’t easy to see. One must look very closely at the center of the photo. That faint blue dot, the one that’s being illuminated by a blue-violet laser, that’s the atom.
And even with the setup Nadlinger constructed, the atom is too faint to pick up with equipment. While it didn’t need a microscope, the image was taken with a regular camera using a long exposure shot.
It basically has to do with quantum theory. It is considered one of the most successful theories of nature. But the quantum world is so complicated, instead of any kind of lesson, the biggest thing to know is that it continues to baffle even the most established scientists. A PBS article says, “physicists and philosophers of science can agree only that there is no real consensus on what quantum theory actually says about the world.”
Nadlinger is quoted as saying, “The idea of being able to see a single atom with the naked eye had struck me as a wonderfully direct and visceral bridge between the minuscule quantum world and our macroscopic reality.”
It also raises doubt about how sure we are of the surest things. There are some scientific theories that have been around for so long they’re taken as hard fact. Photos like this one beg the question, how much do we really know?
Speaking of awards, check out the world map that won a prestigious design award. Then look at the photo of the 305 million-year-old spider ancestor discovered by scientists.
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As an organisation rooted in Christian principles, All We Can considers advocacy as an extension of the Christian practice of supporting and loving our neighbours and doing justice in society through enabling positive, long-term transformation in some of the world’s poorest communities. Our advocacy and education work, both in Britain and internationally, seeks to make a difference by addressing the structural causes of poverty, inequality and injustice.
We understand advocacy as the series of opportunities, efforts and actions aimed at influencing policy at different levels. We believe that changes in policy, either big or small, can lead to practical positive transformations for the most in need. We seek to root our advocacy work in issues that the local communities we work with identify. We also aim to build the capacity of the local organisations we work with to participate more effectively in policy-influencing processes.
We recognise the primary role in advocacy processes of local organisations and churches, both in the UK and overseas, because of:
By supporting advocacy led by the local organisations we work with we are also seeking to make the structures and systems of decision-making more inclusive.