It is inevitable. As a professional with long-term clients, soon or later you will be face-to-face with a client in grief or transition. What do you do? What do you say?
If you find yourself at a loss for words, you are not alone. There has never been a financial advisor’s guide that explains what to say (or what not to say) and how to handle these potentially challenging and professionally awkward situations.
When I became a 25-year-old widow with a 7-month-old baby boy, believe me, no one knew the right thing to do or say around me, including the financial professionals I needed to rely on. And I’ve heard the same stories countless times since then, from more than 2000 grieving people. Instead, what most professionals do is either ignore the painful reality and stick to business, or pick up what other people say and inadvertently perpetuate the mistakes.
You can do better than that. You can learn to do the right things and offer genuine comfort and support, no matter what your clients go through.
It is never a good idea to say “I know how you feel” or “I understand just what you’re going through” because you don’t. You are always wrong, and you will alienate your client immediately. What professionals often say instead is “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” That is better, and in the past, I have endorsed that phrase.
However, as I continue to get feedback from research and in my support groups, I find that many grieving people don’t appreciate it. They especially resent it when, as sometimes happens, the words are dripping with drama – “I can’t IMAGINE what this is like for you!” Yet even if you take care not to go over the top when you say it, you risk isolating people. They hear your implication that they are so crazy or outside the realm of normalcy that no one else can even imagine what it’s like. And since no one can imagine it, no one can be there and help. It builds a moat around your grieving client that can’t be crossed.
Besides, it ultimately is not true. We have very active emotional imaginations. Most of us can indeed imagine something of the pain and loss, the empty chair, the unanswered phone. In fact, imagining it is one key to building empathy, which is core to who we are as human beings and serves a crucial function in binding us together in mutually helpful ways.
So if you aren’t supposed to say “I know how you feel” or “I can’t imagine what you’re going through”, what do you say instead?
“I think if my child died, my body would actually hurt and I’d wonder whether I could trust the view I’ve always had of life. Is it anything like that, or what is your experience?”
“You probably have people telling you that they can’t imagine what you’re going through. If you could enter their imaginations and tell them, what would you want them to know?”
Instead, ask open-ended questions and allow a grieving client to tell you, and then let your imagination take you as close as possible. That allows you to respond more effectively and serve your clients in ways others don’t know how to do.
When you know how to walk your clients through the toughest times of life, you build trust, loyalty, and referrals.
ESPN sportscaster Erin Andrews may be at home with 300 pound footballers and 7 ft basketballers, but one species that absolutely scares the bejaysus out of her are birds!
The “Dancing with the Stars” contestant told ET that a bad childhood experience put her off our feathered friends.
"That's what people don't know about me: I hate birds!" said Andrews. "Although I am wearing feathers this week."
"And so the birds used to just make nests … [and the baby birds] would just start jumping out and they landed on the ground, and we would walk out to go to school and they would be dead, and it was like, 'Aaahhh!'"
Andrews and her dancing partner and rumored love interest Maksim Chmerkovskiy are set to dance a samba in tonight’s show.
The Department of Justice have confirmed that 326 criminals from abroad were found in Ireland in 2009. These including people suspected of murder and rape.
More than half of these had come from Poland. Fifteen of these people were facing charges of grievous bodily harm and 12 extradition warrants related to "sexual offenses including rape and sexual abuse of children".
In total 30 of them were wanted for drugs offenses, 39 suspected fraudsters and 12 people involved in organized crime and robbery were also sought.
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Jeremy Hugus is a trial lawyer and the owner of Platte River Law Firm by day, a gourmand by night, and a humorist in his dreams. He is passionate about good food and drink and good people and treasure.
Manhattan and Brooklyn have their boat bars, dining piers, and waterfront restaurants. including one wall made of tree bar.
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Both milestones signal the same thing: the opportunities for alfresco dining are dwindling. No-Li Brewhouse: Picnic tables and Adirondack chairs abound along the tranquil, tree-lined banks of the S.
The Quad-Cities is full of eateries, breweries and other establishments with such spaces, some of which are complete with picnic-tables or couches. view of the river that shares its name. Next door.
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All-action La Liga midfielder runs away shrieking because of tiny little surprise in his kit bag - Irish Mirror Online
Practical joke left Rayo Vallecano's Unai Lopez rushing for the door after teammate Adrian Embarba hid a mouse in his toiletry bag
He maybe short in stature - only 5ft 6in - but he's not scared of the toughest of La Liga midfielders.
The 22-year-old received the shock of his life in the dressing room when he opened his wash bag and discovered a tiny rodent smiling back at him.
The usually all-action midfielder Unai Lopez fled from the little fella (Image: Getty Images Europe)
Locker room banter is common among footballers but one practical joke left Lopez rushing for the door after teammate Adrian Embarba hid the little fella in his toiletry bag.
A video of the prank has been released on social media. In the footage the 22-year-old midfielder, who is on loan from Athletic Bilbao, had just showered and changed after training.
When the mouse pokes his head out of the wash bag, Lopez startles and runs away as his teammates erupt in laughter.
Rayo Vallecano are based in the neighbourhood of Vallecas in Madrid and play in Spain's second tier division where they are currently sitting in fourth place.
The club, forever in the shadow of Madrid-based teams Real and Atletico, were relegated from La Liga in 2016 which ended a five-year stay in the top-flight.
Conor McGregor UFC News: Ahead of his MMA comeback, Conor relives his boxing debut against Floyd Mayweather - Irish Mirror Online
Conor McGregor UFC News: Ahead of his MMA comeback, Conor relives his boxing debut against Floyd Mayweather
Conor McGregor is gearing up for a return to the octagon in October, but he is still taking time to remember his mega-money boxing match from last Summer.
The former two-weight world champion took on 50-0 boxing legend Floyd Mayweather on August 26th last year in the squared circle and went ten rounds before losing by TKO.
And today he has shared his thoughts on the spectacle, just one year after the massive money match-up earned him a speculated €100 million, as well as talking about his current motivation ahead of his MMA comeback against Khabib Nurmagomedov.
"1 year ago today I adhered to a load of rules, for a load of riches," he posted on Instagram to his 25.3 million followers. "Not today though."
Conor McGregor UFC news: Notorious takes another swipe at Team Khabib in a scathing attack on The Eagle's close friend
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