A version of this archives appears in print on March 5, 1952, on Page 29 of the New York edition with the headline: REV. CHARLES BOURNIER. Order Reprints| Today's Paper|Subscribe
ALBANY, March 26 -- Governor Dewey vetoed today a bill to permit school districts in cities of less than 125,000 population to award up to $3,000 in contracts without advertising for bids. Any contracts involving an expenditure or obligation of more than $1,000 now must be advertised.View Full Article in Timesmachine »
A version of this archives appears in print on March 27, 1952, on Page 18 of the New York edition with the headline: VETO BARS EASING OF SCHOOL BID LAW; Dewey Blocks Bill to Permit Waivers on Small Contracts in Cities Under 125,000. Order Reprints| Today's Paper|Subscribe
SAIGON, Vietnam, May 24 (AP) -- French Union forces, outnumbered three to two, beat off a six-day siege by the Vietminh in northern Laos near the Chinese border, the French High Command said today.View Full Article in Timesmachine »
Only five men in the world can trump Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad in one category -- the length of time they have held on to power. A demonstration of why he is in this elite group has been on display since Sept. 11, in his response to the attacks.
Displaying his canny political dexterity, Dr. Mahathir, still crusty and combative at 76, has managed to bolster his popularity at home, where moderate and conservative Islamic forces are locked in a struggle for the soul of the country, and at the same time improve relations with the United States. That is no small feat.
Over the years, Dr. Mahathir has delighted in bashing Washington, a practice that has played well among Malaysians, who see the United States as the symbol of white, Western imperialism and crass commercialism.
Long a bone in Washington's throat, Dr. Mahathir opposes American policy in Israel, a major cause of anti-American sentiment throughout the region. He also wants a lifting of sanctions against Iraq and enthusiastically embraces some of America's chief rivals like Fidel Castro, who was welcomed here as recently as last May.
Dr. Mahathir's views have not changed, but Washington's view of him has. ''I never thought I'd call Mahathir a friend,'' a senior Bush administration official said, clearly not thrilled with the new reality.
A few days after the attacks, Dr. Mahathir went to the American Embassy, signed the condolence book and met with the staff. Fully aware of his domestic constituency, he later balanced that by loudly condemning the bombings in Afghanistan.
He and President Bush have exchanged letters and phone calls, and the two men get along well, American and Malaysian officials said.
Dr. Mahathir has cracked down hard on suspected terrorists and shared intelligence with the United States, the kind of support the Bush administration wishes it were getting from Indonesia.
Some American officials have said Malaysia was a launching pad for Sept. 11, that it is a base for Islamic terrorists. Although a few of the hijackers did pass time here, Western and Asian analysts say that this is a moderate Islamic country, where extremists are as unwelcome as they are in Europe or the United States.
This country of 24 million defies easy labels: it is neither dictatorship nor liberal democracy, neither Islamic nor secular. The capital is gleaming and modern, with skyscrapers, Planet Hollywood and Tower Records, and a sprawling Motorola complex along the landscaped freeway on the outskirts of town. Yet Dr. Mahathir preaches against market capitalism and globalization.
He is equally comfortable talking with Bill Gates about the development of a multimedia corridor near the modern airport and thumping the table about the evils of the industrialized world with Robert Mugabe, the leader of Zimbabwe who has become increasingly dictatorial since coming to power in 1980, one year before Dr. Mahathir.
A Western ambassador here said it was wrong to put Dr. Mahathir in the same category as Mr. Mugabe, or the others with longer tenure: Mr. Castro, Muammar Qaddafi of Libya, Daniel arap Moi of Kenya -- who did not allow multiparty elections until the 1990's -- and Saddam Hussein of Iraq. ''He is the only one who was democratically elected,'' the ambassador said about Dr. Mahathir.
Elected yes, several times, in multi-party elections. How democratically is another matter. The media, print and television, are controlled by the government, a reality that caused the ambassador to amend his statement. ''If you can have a democracy without a completely free press,'' he said, ''then Malaysia can be called a democracy.''
Dr. Mahathir's standing at home and abroad has been hurt by his prosecution of Anwar Ibrahim, who was widely thought to be his chosen successor. A few years ago Mr. Ibrahim and his business backers became anxious and made a power grab. Dr. Mahathir reacted by charging Mr. Ibrahim with corruption, and then sodomy. He was duly convicted by Dr. Mahathir's judiciary and is now in jail.
Mr. Ibrahim has friends in the Bush administration, as well as a large following at home, and it was widely believed that Dr. Mahathir was about to cut a deal with him.
No longer. Since Sept. 11. Muslim voters who fled his party, the United Malays National Organization, because of the treatment of Mr. Ibrahim are drifting back, helped by Dr. Mahathir's painting his Islamic opposition as supporters of the Taliban.
That fear has also strengthened his support among the Chinese, who are about a quarter of the population and dominate the economy.
The real battle here these days is over Islam and its role in politics. The main opposition party, the Islamic Party of Malaysia, wants an Islamic state along the lines of Iran and Sudan, the leader of the party's youth wing, Mafuz Omar, said in an interview this week.
But Malaysia is already an Islamic state, Dr. Mahathir asserted recently. Islam is the official state religion; on family matters, Shariah law applies to Muslims; there are Islamic banks and Islamic insurance companies. There are several thousand Islamic schools in the country, and the eastern length of this country has been called the ''Mecca corridor.''
''Islam permeates all aspects of society here, from pop culture to politics,'' said Farish Noor, a political scientist who studies Islamic movements. The government's goal is to show that Islam and modernization are not incompatible, he said.
The Islamic Party wants a state in which the full Shariah -- the legal code based on the Koran -- applies, which Mr. Omar says means stoning adulterers to death and cutting off the hands of thieves.
No more Planet Hollywood either, he said, and no young women strolling through shopping centers wearing tight slacks and platform shoes along with the religious scarf, a common sight now.
But there are signs that even the Islamic Party is not completely sure what it means to be an Islamic state. The party has been working for months on a paper that will detail its understanding of what that means, said Kamaruddin Jaffar, a moderate member of the party's executive committee. He said he did not know when the paper would be ready.
A year ago the political talk was that Dr. Mahathir was at the end of his tenure. Now the talk is that he will probably run in the next elections, which will be sometime in the next two years.
A version of this article appears in print on February 9, 2002, on Page A00003 of the National edition with the headline: Malaysia's Canny Autocrat Grows Stronger Since Sept. 11. Order Reprints| Today's Paper|Subscribe
The genre of the term-paper book requires an author to pick a precise subject -- often an edible one, like salt or chocolate or olive oil -- and dig up as many relevant anecdotes and factoids as research will allow. It's a forced, gimmicky method of viewing the world through a thimble.
But Tom Standage's bright idea really is bright: "A History of the World in 6 Glasses," a book that divides world history into beer, wine, spirits, coffee, tea and Coca-Cola Ages. Far from being frivolous, the author has legitimate points to make. And his book is loaded with the kind of data that get talked about at the figurative water cooler. As the beverage of the moment, water gets an epilogue and becomes the seventh drink under discussion.
Mr. Standage moves chronologically through what he cannot resist calling "the flow of history." He begins with humanity's shift from hunting and gathering to agriculture. This transition led to the cultivation of grain, which led to storage and fermentation and, eventually, beer. Only one more major development -- the creation of crockery--was necessary. By around 4000 B.C., according to a Mesopotamian pictogram included here, human beings had learned to stick straws into big, communally shared beer vessels.
Beer was a controversial substance right from the start. Mr. Standage digs up both a laudatory Egyptian proverb ("The mouth of a perfectly contented man is filled with beer.") and a warning ("Take not upon thyself to drink a jug of beer. Thou speakest, and an unintelligible utterance issueth from thy mouth."). And he points out that the workers who built Egypt's pyramids were paid in beer. Fortunately, the pyramids came out straight.
Moving on to his second substance, Mr. Standage quotes implicit praise from Aristophanes: "Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever." Once the cultivation of grapes led to wine production, the new beverage took on connotations of privilege and sophistication. The book abounds in oenological exotica like this: King Scorpion I of Egypt was buried with 700 jars of wine, imported at great expense from the Levant around 3150 B.C.
The book cites assorted classical assessments of wine consumption, most notably Plutarch's: "The drunkard is insolent and rude. ... On the other hand, the complete teetotaler is disagreeable and more fit for tending children than presiding over a drinking party." More seriously, it describes how wine had a strictly defined role in the Roman world, with different forms of the drink used to indicate social strata. Mr. Standage goes on to associate Islam's ban on wine consumption with the goal of separating the Muslim world from Christian influence. He links the differences between wine-drinking and beer-drinking habits of Europe (southern and northern, respectively) with the boundaries of the Roman Empire.
The history of spirits -- most notably rum, whiskey and brandy -- has particularly far-reaching implications. Mr. Standage traces the process of distillation back to Arab Andalusia and illustrates its influence on slavery, once sugar crops became central to alcohol-making. He then follows rum across the Atlantic, in the form of the citrus-flavored sailors' grog that warded off scurvy (and gave British sailors "limey" as a nickname). He explains why rum was more likely to be found on the coast of the American colonies, whereas whiskey flourished inland, where it bedeviled the native population.
The book's sober side is equally enveloping. "Western Europe began to emerge from an alcoholic haze that had lasted for centuries," Mr. Standage writes, by way of introducing coffee's contribution to the spirit of enlightenment. He follows the influence of coffee from Ethiopian goats (said to grow frisky after eating caffeinated berries) to London, where it had become deeply ingrained by the 17th century. "Thence to the coffee-house" was one of Samuel Pepys's favorite locutions.
The coffeehouse connection to the exchange of ideas is linked to the origins of Lloyds of London, the Stock Exchange and the French Revolution. ("It literally began at a café.") In this context, with the organizational fluidity that unifies this compendium, the conjunction of Seattle, Starbucks and innovative software becomes part of an understandable progression.
The story of tea is the most obvious one here: it embodies the power of British imperialism and the fate of tea-based economies in India and China. Mr. Standage finds much more to work with when he arrives at Coca-Cola, with antique slogans that are endearing ("Brighter! Brighter! Thinkers think, when they Coca-Cola drink." -- from 1896) and politics that are less so.
The author, who lives in England and is the technology editor of The Economist, posits two different views of Coca-Cola's history. Either this drink is the amazingly successful embodiment of can-do American values or it signifies "ruthless global capitalism, the hegemony of global corporations and brands, and the dilution of local cultures and values into homogenized and Americanized mediocrity." Whichever the case, he acknowledges the well-known fact that "Coca-Cola" is the second most widely understood phrase on the planet, second only to "O.K."
Highlights of this drink's long, checkered history include its early links to quack medicinal remedies, the court case United States v. Forty Barrels and Twenty Kegs of Coca-Cola, and the way colorless Coke was passed off as vodka by a Soviet military leader who dared not be associated with such a capitalist totem. Coca-Cola's presence in the hot, parched Middle East is seen as no less tricky. As in the book's other sections, Mr. Standage manages to be incisive, illuminating and swift without belaboring his analysis.
A version of this review appears in print on May 30, 2005, on Page E00009 of the National edition with the headline: BOOKS OF THE TIMES; The Happy Hour, Changing the Course of History. Today's Paper|Subscribe
WITH so much attention on the income divide between the top 1 percent and the other 99 percent of Americans, it might seem that having enormous business wealth wouldn’t be a great qualification for election as president. And if such a candidate pledged to keep taxes low for the wealthy, he would appear to have no chance at all in a troubled economy.
Mitt Romney’s campaign has been showing that these factors may not be insurmountable. To the contrary, many Americans are showing deep affection for stories of business success — like Mr. Romney’s at Bain Capital — and many are shrugging off the inequality issue.
In some ways, this isn’t so surprising. Americans have long been seen as admirers of business wealth. In 1840, Alexis de Tocqueville observed in “Democracy in America” that “in no country in the world is the love of property more active and more anxious than in the United States.”
And in his 1906 book, “Why Is There No Socialism in the United States?,” the German sociologist and economist Werner Sombart wrote: “If the American prays before the god of Success, he strives to lead a life acceptable to his god. Therefore we see in every American — beginning with the paperboy — restlessness, yearning and compulsion to be way and beyond other people.”
Sombart’s observation about American national identity still looks spot-on. The other day in Chicago, a taxi driver told me that he had emigrated from Romania and had grand plans to develop at a distance a vacation resort in his home country. America continues to attract people who have the utmost respect for wealth.
Not long after, a taxi driver in New Haven confided to me that he was a high-school dropout. When I asked if we should tax the rich more, he replied with an emphatic “No!” He saw himself as a small-businessman who happened to be in the taxi business, and he identified strongly with the rich.
The pursuit of wealth is a real source of identity in America. We are accustomed to seeing ourselves chasing riches, even if we’re not in business the way Mr. Romney was.
Still, Americans haven’t elected many businessmen as presidents. The principal examples come from the Roaring ’20s, a time of huge stock market gains, when faith in business reached all-time highs. Consider our presidents in that decade: Warren G. Harding had been a newspaper publisher in Ohio. Calvin Coolidge, trained as a lawyer, was once a vice president of the Nonotuck Savings Bank in Northampton, Mass., and was known for saying that “the chief business of the American people is business.” And Herbert Hoover was a mining expert who traveled to Australia in its 1890s gold rush and became a mine manager.
But businessman presidents disappeared after the market crash of 1929 and during the Great Depression of the 1930s, when many Americans believed that the business world had failed the nation. Franklin D. Roosevelt, who came from a wealthy family but was never a businessman and never talked like one, handily defeated both Hoover in 1932 and Alf Landon, a banker and independent petroleum producer, in 1936.
Not until the Bush presidencies did businessmen, in the suit-and-tie sense of the word, retake the White House — though it otherwise could be argued that Jimmy Carter, a peanut farmer, was a businessman, too. George H. W. Bush was elected during a soaring stock market, and his son George W. Bush won during a real estate boom. Both men were oil venture entrepreneurs.
You might think that the current economic slump would drain support for businessmen, as it did in the Great Depression. But there are differences. Back then, the United States hadn’t yet reached the pinnacle of economic power. Today, many people worry about an apparent crumbling of American economic growth as emerging markets surge around us. There is a widespread fear that the American wealth machine is faltering — and, as a result, many people are aiming to rediscover the nation’s traditional strengths.
In Connecticut, the typically “blue” state where I live, Linda McMahon, the Republican candidate for senator, is campaigning on a story of self-made riches, and is presenting a serious challenge to the Democrat, Representative Christopher S. Murphy.
Ms. McMahon lacks legislative or governmental experience, but she cites her success in managing World Wrestling Entertainment as evidence that she can be an effective legislator. Her life story — involving an early bankruptcy, then redemption through earning millions running staged wrestling bouts — is a rags-to-riches tale, and she says it demonstrates her capacity to succeed as a senator. Americans have long heard stories of how entrepreneurs from John D. Rockefeller to Steven P. Jobs have achieved phenomenal success, and many derive a sense of identity from seeing themselves as having the qualities that could lead to riches, too.
FOR many voters this year, a central question is how to maintain what they consider as America’s greatness, its exceptionalism. They are concerned with both lowering the unemployment rate and creating good jobs — jobs that are exciting and can create substantial wealth. This attitude may be improving the odds for businesspeople seeking office.
If elected, Mr. Romney wants to enforce a general pro-business mandate and to bolster business confidence. That is quite possible. Still, any such confidence boost will most likely be offset by his promise to drastically cut government spending. The weight of evidence from studies of fiscal austerity indicates that, at least in times like these, it is very costly to economic activity. Big cuts now could easily plunge the country back into a recession.
Yes, many Americans admire business success and believe that business experience is a plus in a president. But Americans have usually also understood that other factors — like wise policies and strong leadership ability — are much more important.
A version of this article appears in print on November 4, 2012, on Page BU5 of the New York edition with the headline: Businessmen As Presidents: A Historical Circle. Order Reprints| Today's Paper|Subscribe
Every day of high school is a fresh hell for the unhappy young hero of “queerSpawn,” a slight but compassionate and bleakly funny play by Mallery Avidon that opened at Here Arts Center on Tuesday night. If one tormentor is not spray-painting a gay slur across his locker in vivid neon, another is shoving him in a big cardboard box and taping it shut.
The brutal joke is that our nameless hero, the Kid (David Rosenblatt), isn’t gay. “What I want to say to them is, I’m not gay,” he wearily tells us. “But a) it won’t do any good, and b) I don’t know how to say that without also saying, ‘Not that I think there’s anything wrong with it.’ ” That morally necessary addendum, he glumly adds, “would only make them think I’m gay even more than they already do.”
The reason for his persecution is simple enough: The hero of “queerSpawn” has two moms. In this small town in the middle of the country, the illogical assumption is that the child of gay parents is naturally gay. The Kid attempts to point out the flaws in this reasoning — not to mention the statistical evidence proving otherwise — but the brains of high school bullies aren’t notably porous.
Ms. Avidon’s comedy examines what may become an increasing problem for young men and women growing up with gay parents. It’s no secret that high school is a big petri dish for prejudice and abuse, and the growing numbers of children of gay parents may soon (may already) find themselves the victimized vanguard of a new flavor of bullying.
As the Kid, Mr. Rosenblatt gives a winning, funny and moving performance, imbuing the character with a native intelligence and good sense that are continually under siege from the self-doubt that is a byproduct of ceaseless mockery. Friendless at school, the Kid has a brief spark of hope when a new student transfers in. But in the cruel social economy of high school, the new kid, the Nerd (Chris Perfetti), can’t really afford to run the risk of taint by association, so he gives the Kid as wide a berth as possible.
“I’m allergic to spray paint,” he explains, when he tells the Kid that he has asked to be given a new locker. In another of the play’s darkly funny passages, the Nerd shows a flicker of compassion when he finds the Kid wrapped tightly up in one of those cardboard boxes. He’s sort of in a hurry — and he can’t be seen coming to the rescue — but he does briskly poke a few holes in the box to let in some air.
Absent any real companions, the Kid invents his own. Dreaming of the possibility of moving to Africa, he converses with a fantasy friend whose knowledge of that continent, unfortunately, cannot extend beyond the Kid’s: elephants and poverty and, um, drumming and dancing? He also receives visits from the advice columnist Dan Savage, played with suavity by David Greenspan. Mr. Savage spearheaded the recent “It Gets Better” campaign on YouTube, after a spate of suicides by gay teenagers.
In one of the show’s more pointedly funny moments, the Kid argues that it’s not always that easy to forge a path to a less oppressive life. “Most of you are rich,” the Kid says, referring to the celebrities who piled on with more “It Gets Better” videos. “And the world was different when you were young. When you were escaping wherever you were escaping. There were jobs. And college didn’t cost a bazillion dollars.”
Directed with an appealingly light touch by Jesse Geiger for the company A Collection of Shiny Objects, “queerSpawn” isn’t much more than a comic-strip portrait of the brutalities endured by a good kid dealt a tough hand. The actors — who include Noel Joseph Allain as Brad Pitt and the hunky doctor played by Eric Dane in “Grey’s Anatomy,” two more playmates in the Kid’s yearning psyche — all bring sharp, funny contours to their mostly small roles. J. Alexander Coe stands out, hilarious and repellent, as the Kid’s various torturers. (Mr. Greenspan is sharp but definitely not funny in another role, the gay-hater Fred Phelps, who croons to the Kid, trapped in the box, that he’s probably better off killing himself now.)
“QueerSpawn” has little in the way of narrative arc. The poor Kid seems to suffer the same cruelties day in and day out. He lands in the hospital more than once, but remains steadfast in his unwillingness to tell his parents about the cause of his suffering. That’s a moving note that rings achingly true: the pain of being bullied is compounded by the shame it brings. The shame breeds isolation, which brings more unhappiness.
The static nature of the story may be a mild dramatic drawback — even though the show clocks in at a brisk 70 minutes — but it’s an all-too-apt expression of the interior world of a high school freshman looking at four years of the loneliness and despair that have become his everyday companions. How can you really believe that things will get better when they never seem to change?
A theater review on Wednesday about “queerSpawn,” at the Here Arts Center in Manhattan, misidentified one of the roles played by Noel Joseph Allain. As the listing of credits correctly noted, Mr. Allain plays the hunky doctor portrayed by Eric Dane in “Grey’s Anatomy” (nicknamed McSteamy), not that show’s hunky doctor portrayed by Patrick Dempsey (nicknamed McDreamy).
A version of this article appears in print on , on Page C7 of the New York edition with the headline: No, He’s Not, but the Bullies Still Won’t Give Him a Break. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe
The expansive great room, the gourmet kitchen, and the dining area of the charming Bramante extend the entire length of the home, creating the perfect open space for entertaining. A first-floor secondary bedroom includes a private bathroom and a walk-in closet. The second-floor hall opens to an expansive loft, which offers versatile living space. Other highlights include a private courtyard; a covered entry; an elegantly spacious foyer; large secondary bedrooms with private bathrooms; a master bedroom with a coffered ceiling, two enormous walk-in closets, and a spa-like master bathroom; and a convenient second-floor laundry.
Built in 2005, this building consists of 4 floors, made up of 8 apartments, none of which is currently for sale, and none are available for rent. Located in Brooklyn's Greenwood Heights neighborhood, features of this building include a laundry room and storage available.
This building consists of 4 floors, made up of apartments, none of which is currently for sale, and none are available for rent. Located in Brooklyn's Sheepshead Bay neighborhood.
James Baldwin School, The: A School for Expeditionary Learning (0.12 miles away) Public 09,10,11,12,SE N/A N/A
Built in 1902, this building consists of 6 floors, made up of 10 apartments, none of which is currently for sale, and none are available for rent. Located in New York's Chelsea neighborhood.
New York City Lab Middle School for Collaborative Studies (0.06 miles away) Public 06,07,08,SE N/A N/A
James Baldwin School, The: A School for Expeditionary Learning (0.13 miles away) Public 09,10,11,12,SE N/A N/A
Built in 1900, this building consists of 4 floors, made up of 4 apartments, none of which is currently for sale, and none are available for rent. Located in New York's Gramercy Park neighborhood.
I've never found a Mr Forever, and to be honest, I don't really believe in that so it's no big deal. But I have been lucky enough to find one or two long term Mr Rights and more than a few Mr Right Nows. But does the nature of how we meet make a difference to our long term prospects?
If we meet in a bar, a sports club, a store, or via an app - what does that really say about our long term future? I think there are a number of genuine factors that count when it comes to knowing whether you're going to have a one night "thang" or a long-term thing.
I will tell you afterwards how I personally met my previous Mr Rights. This may well reveal my identity to those eager players trying to out me. Try as you will, darlings - it's a fun game for us all!
But before that, I'll tell you that I've met men at various Auckland haunts, in various situations, and I can confidently say there are some situations out of which there will be no winners. Believe me I've been there in all of these, and it's never a win-win.
Shock, horror! Someone you spend an extraordinary amount of time with is suddenly attractive to you! This should be no surprise to anyone. Various research says that around half of people find love at work. But in my experience it always ends in disaster - they're always married or your boss (see below). Under no circumstances should you enter a dalliance with someone from work. Resist the charms. For your own good, leave it alone.
You know the golden rule! Don't screw the crew. You'll only end up breaking the house apart just for a lousy shag - and it is always lousy. They aren't even that attractive anyway, you just happened to fancy them because you bonded over David Attenborough on Netflix. Ugh.
There's just too much baggage here. Someone is bound to lose a friend. The thing with Auckland is that everyone is someone's mate, and it's difficult to avoid this situation. Ask yourself - is this reeeeaaaallly worth it?
The power dynamic will never equalise. Let's face it, power and money are aphrodisiacs, and sleeping with your boss / staff involves both of those things whether you like it or not.
Another sure fire hot factor is the element of risk: it gives us a feeling of pleasure because it implies "death" - in the work place at least - and as the saying goes, "the closer to death we are the more alive we feel."
The same goes as above. It's an element of "not allowed" that makes this dalliance so sexy. Just imagine him taking a massive s**t and you'll get over it soon enough.
Holiday romances should be left where you met. The idea of having sex with someone from a certain country carries the weight of the person behind it and that often doesn't work out.
If you fancy that person, realise the enormous barriers in the way to you even having a normal dating situation - you can't even go out for coffee. Either you or him need to move halfway around the world just to work out whether you have a thang or not. Too risky.
This should go without saying. But PornHub search stats tell us that most searched for porn often features terms that include "step". The only thing separating this search and a lengthy jail term is the word "step".
Never meet your heroes. And definitely don't sleep with them. The hype will never live up to the expectation.
If his tag line on Tinder says: "I'm here for a good time not a long time" what you should read is: "I'm here for a seven second time, and I'll give you zero attention."
If he's already slept with most of your mates. He's duplicitous, disingenuous, and ultimately disastrous.
If he's cheated on his GF/wife with you, it's almost guaranteed that karma will bite you in the ass and it will happen to you too.
Having said all the above, I have met some of the most important men of my life in the most unexpected situations in Auckland.
My first real love I met at university, circa 2001. I was walking out of Library B.10 deep in the bowels of the University of Auckland, when this cute, preppy, bespectacled guy literally stopped me in my tracks and said he'd been watching me (weird) and wondered whether I would like to join him at Shadows for a beer (I immediately excused his weirdness).
I realised later just how out of character this would have been for him, and many years afterwards I deeply appreciate the enormous effort he went to, to approach me out of the blue.
This really doesn't happen often in New Zealand - both Kiwi guys and gals are absolutely terrible at the cold approach.
We were so in love, and it was gag-inducing cuteness for two years until this same lovely, cute nerd cleaned me out of every single thing I owned while I was at work one night.
Aside from the game of Trivial Pursuit he accidentally left in the hot water cupboard. An empty home was quite the shock to come home to at 5am. Nothing builds resilience quite like theft in a personal relationship!
The second man I loved was someone I approached myself. Much like the above, this was well out of character for me also. He was in the fruit and vege aisle at a central Auckland supermarket, clearly looking for a perfect mango. No, this is not a euphemism. And no, I wasn't cruising the aisles with my bananas facing upwards, as urban legend might have it.
I could see he was struggling to choose the juiciest, juiciest mango, so I offered unsolicited assistance. He seemed relieved to be shown the way of the mango, and I took the opportunity to invite him to a house party that weekend, which he duly showed up to and that lead to a decade long love affair.
Contrary to my expectation, I've also just met someone via Bumble who had the chat to beat all chat, and turns out he is an absolute 11/10 babe. So, I could possibly change my mind on this one. I'll keep you posted …