I looked up from my computer as my mom said, “time moves too fast. I would give anything to have you as a toddler again. Remember how you always said you’d live right next door to me?” I was heading off to University, and as far as I could tell, it had taken an entire eternity to just begin my life. From my mom’s perspective, though, it was a different story. The little boy she raised was now a man, and the memories she cherished were just memories.
Yesterday, we hit the 37 week mark [we have hit the 38 week mark, and this post is still not published! Just goes to show you how fast time goes by] in our pregnancy. Deborah asked me on our walk, “if you could choose, how much longer would you want this pregnancy to last?”
Deborah and I have different perspectives, of course. Pregnancy is a lot more fun if you get to participate in the celebration but are not the one who is physically pregnant. That’s a unique privilege that dad’s get. Deborah is a trooper through thick and thin, but what makes me want the pregnancy to last longer is the revelation that, while our baby’s life is just beginning, time is already moving far too fast.
I have every intention of being one of those (yes, I understand I’m not a mom). It’s not that I’m going to try to be annoying. It’s that I’m already extremely proud of the cutest little girl who could ever exist.
That, and I can’t stand the thought of a single memory forgotten. I once had a travel blog. I did a lot of really cool stuff all around the world, but I never really got around to writing in the blog, always putting it off saying, “one month I’ll stay put and just write all of my stories, non-stop. And in that same month, I’ll edit all of my pictures/video.” Well, that month never happened. What’s more? 20 countries later, my hard drive broke, so I lost all of my pictures and video. The further back that gets, the more I realize entire swathes of my travels are either distorted in some way or wiped from my memory completely (Oh I think I was in Nicaragua, and there was a bull, some tequila, and a bunch of cheering fans but man, what was I doing?). I’ll be damned if I let any more pictures, stories, memories slip by, let alone the most precious part of my life: my children.
This is the million dollar question, isn’t it? Quite literally. I set out to be a millionaire, and I’m certainly not there yet. While it’s not imperative that I haven’t (yet) made a million dollars, I think it’s important to reflect on what it is you want to do, set a goal, and do it (late is better than never, but the longer you take, the more likely ‘late’ becomes ‘never’). Traveling parents keep telling me that your life doesn’t just end when you have kids (alright, I get it already!), but there are certain things that will definitely be made harder when children come into the picture (where would our daughter be if Deborah and I decided to do a tandem bungee jump?).
My dad once told me that it’s a really great idea for high school kids and college kids to start businesses. He said that by the time you have a family, security is much more important, but when you’re young, you have less to lose and the payoff is big! He was 100% right about taking a risk when you’re young, but has it paid off for me yet? Certainly not in the way I thought on the outset. I had visions of acquiring large businesses before I was allowed to drink champagne to celebrate. That’s neither here nor there, it clearly wasn’t my top priority. Otherwise, I would have made it happen. The point is that time is just going for it; it doesn’t really care what you’re doing. Am I making the most of it? Are YOU making the most of it?
For me, I think the answer generally, though not all the time, has been yes (my documentation skills have at times been sub-par). As Deborah and I transition into this new phase of life, priorities will change, but we will do everything in our power to dream, to love, to remember, and to make the very most of every moment with our daughter, from the moment she’s born to the moment I shared with my mom repeats itself, and our little girl flies the nest (and beyond of course!).
I don’t think anyone has really accomplished ALL of the goals they wanted to, and kids are just one of those goals in the end. Continue working, don’t fret.