As the 2013 NFL Offseason stinks quietly into the murky depths of history, it’s time to dust off the pom-poms and give it the old sis, boom, bah. Another exciting season of 49er football is about to begin.
This year’s team will be led by Castro district pin-up sensation Colin Kaepernick, who spent the offseason trotting around the country half or fully naked and proclaiming, “I love me some me and screw you.”
Not exactly the sort of classy and humble leadership 49er fans have grown accustomed to, but football fanning requires a near-pact with the devil moral system, so I’m sure we’ll all come to bask in the glow of Colin’s heroic achievements on the field of play. Achievements are also something 49er fans have grown accustomed to and on that count, there is no gray area. Win or take a hike.
OLB Ahmad Brooks has apparently escaped the wrath of the dreaded mug shot photo after his assault on teammate Lamar Divens. Divens also will not be prosecuted for his attempted extortion of $1,000,000 from Brooks. The 49ers stated they would have no further comment on the issue, which expanded on their earlier comments, which were non-existent. It remains to be seen whether NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will have anything to say about the matter in terms of fining and/or suspending Brooks for appearing to misbehave, whether he did or did not.
Continuing down the slippery slope of redefining “high character guys,” the 49ers fetched a pretty good young CB (Eric Wright) from Tampa Bay after he wore out his welcome there by getting suspended for PEDs and being arrested twice for DUIs, neither of which has as yet resulted in a conviction. The DUI charges were dropped in the first arrest and have not yet been applied in the second, which occurred a mere ten days ago on July 12. Assuming the charges are eventually filed, and Wright’s attorney is as good as Seattle’s Marshawn Lynch’s, who has gotten his client’s trial delayed for nearly two years, Wright should be able to play out the 2013 year without a suspension from Goodell.
The team will be opening Training Camp with 8 guys on the Physically Unable to Perform (PUP) list: DT Tank Carradine, DT Quinton Dial, RB Marcus Lattimore, T Luke Marquardt, LB Darius Fleming, RB Kendall Hunter, WR Mario Manningham, and WR Kyle Williams. Michael Crabtree will also be added to this list when he reports in for duty. That’s a lot of wounded warriors.
The past four seasons, the NFC West has been been fairly easy pickings, and the 49ers did the picking for the past two, after shedding the Nolangletary era restraints on offensive ingenuity. This year, however, the pickings will be located much higher on the tree. Both Seattle and St. Louis will be formidable participants in what promises to be a veritable donnybrook for division supremacy.
In two weeks, the preseason games begin and all those vacant Sundays will be filled from now until February. Sigh. How sweet it is.
You’ll notice CK’s wearing a Milwaukee Brewer’s cap and it’s not a big deal because they are not an opponent/rival of the Niners and nobody thought anything of it.
No he didn’t say that, you stupid dick. Can’t you read? He mentioned something about Cox. I added my own little touch of humor, you brainless squid. See? Blogs can be fun. Then there’s whatever you call what you do. God, you are a complete waste of time. Go away. Shut up. Grow up. Stop stalking my posts.
BTW, I suppose you won’t watch the Niners this year since Brooks isn’t going to be punished for his alleged assault. Boo hoo. Internet nanny loses his way. Waaah!
Just wondering. Cuz Bullitt, is a major dick. He and NoFear need to start an “I LOVE me some Unca” blog. They can rail on my various musings all they want in the privacy of their own goddamned place.
Brooks is far from being a star, Skippy. Please pay attention. Thanks again for being the biggest dickless weenie on the planet.
Fanboy? Wow, Buwwitt learned a new word today. Since we’re going old school here, good for you, queer bait. I’m not the one posting Kappy commercials. Must be tough typing one-handed.
Like I said, Skeebs. Buwwitt goes out of his way to pester, harass, and generally be a dick. At what point do you tell him to STFU?
Failed his physical my ass. Were the Niners even aware of his recent DUI arrest before agreeing to this deal? Not looking like it. The club has more egg on its face. If it wasn’t for Disneyland we’d be the biggest Mickey Mouse organization in town.
STFU Chuck. This looks bad. Where’s that “due diligence” Baalke was talking about? Maybe Trent should have called Brian Sabean first.
who simply can’t have a discussion without cheapshot character assasinations and juvenile namecalling.
You can dish it but as soon as someone comes back at you, Chuckles call fouls and tries to hide behind the moderator and have him intervene because your feelings are hurt. One day you’ll grow a spine because you are a total fake.
If you criticize Culliver for making hompphobic remarks and you make a similar joke, what does that say about you?
This offseason has been really looooonnnnggg. Can’t wait for some real fooball. Lools like Nmanmdi(sp) is gonna make the team.
Fooball, football, foosball. Yeah, this offseason has been interminable. Anything but Buwwitt’s constant whining. If I leave, what will you do, Buwwitt? Post more commercials? More tigerbeat shit?
And dickless weenie is an oxymoron? Hooray for Buwwitt passing 5th grade english! It’s called a joke, you clueless moron. Humor. Try it some time.
The due diligence has been done, Dennis. Wright’s off the team. What more do you want? You think the 4 days he was here caused irreparable damage? Bill Walsh hand-picked his successor in Terry Donohue. What say you about that? Or JJ Stokes?
Gee Buwwitt. Who started this? Check your 8:45 post. And stop being the world’s biggest pussy. You start this and get all butt-hurt when I call you out? Boo hoo. The world cries for you.
I stayed away for a while, but I see I can’t post here without the chiahuahua badgering me at every turn. So, f*** it.
Get it Reddog/Buwwitt/Wong/Razor/Touchdown Tommy? Chiahuahua – badgering? It’s a joke, son. Try to pay attention.
Like I have always said I post stuff that people might have seen but some might have missed and mostly pertain to the Niners.
I even picked him on one of my FF teams. We really need for AJ and Patton to step up. God, I have a feeling this year is gonna be good.
Explain your 8:45 am post, Buwwitt. You are nothing but a troll-baiting little prick. Fess up and move on, skippy.
Calling you a pussy isn’t homophobic. Just Buwwitt-phobic. Hyuk! Calling you a pussy does a disservice to vaginas everywhere. Maybe you need to meet one. I think yer a little backed up.
This year is all about the passing game, and how much progress they can make. If Manningham was assured to be in fine fettle, I’d feel much better with he and Bouldin as the 1 and 2. As it is, there are ? marks all over these guys. Lockette, AJ, Patton, and a bunch of scrubs doesn’t give me a big thrill. For all their work of bolstering the WRs, injuries and attrition have taken their toll and the season has barely started.
I’m of a mind that Vance CAN dance, and he’ll be a better option than Delanie (stonehands) Walker was.
The other part of the Ryan Braun story is in Spring Training he got up in front of the entire team and swore to them he didn’t take PEDs.
Now the whole Brewer clubhouse feels betrayed as they stupidly defended him and made fools of themselves.
MLB Network says there is serious doubt that Braun would ever be welcomed by any teammates in Milwaukee after the suspension.
Be still my heart. The Niner chef speaks! “Here, boys. Try the HGH souffle with an Anadrol side salad.”
You watch. Once next year rolls around, Braun will be back on the team. As long as he acts very contrite and thoroughly chastened. Time heals all wounds. The fans don’t care. The players? Well, if he hits, they won’t care either. Christ, he’s signed through 2020. Problem is, take a look at Melky Cabrera’s numbers from this year to last. Bit of a drop off.
I suggest before labeling other people and namecalling you grow up, act like an adult and practice what you preach.
bullit- Keep posting that regurgitated stuff. I don’t have time to find much of that stuff and much of what you post I wouldn’t ever see if it were not here. I appreciate your sharing.
Didja read my link, Bergs? Apparently Harbaugh shares my feelings that the hat thing wasn’t a big deal. Unlike some other breathless nanny-staters around these parts.
This in light of Mr Discount Doublecheck opening his mouth about giving up a year’s salary if it was proven that Braun used PEDs. Ryan Braun was suspended
unca- If the Niners are winning the hat incident becomes moot. If they lose or Kaep plays poorly many fans will reference the hat. IMO it was a bad move, but only because he put undue pressure on himself. For me it is no big deal and actually, other than the undue pressure he put on himself, I could care less. Just win baby!
I’ll have a Psychotic Venom with a Hateful Acrimony chaser… but hold the Petty Jealousy. It’s only 9 AM, for Christ’s Sake, I need to pace myself.
As the face of the franchise you are under the microscope and everything you do in public is a PR move.
My take on it is, if the hat is an issue, then you are sorely lacking in common sense and are easily distracted by bright shiny things.
The only thing Kappy is guilty of is not being aware that he is a major celebrity now, and that all his actions will be scrutinized with the harsh and unflinching attention bestowed on actors and politicians and the like.
Rodgers speaks his mind, and you have a problem with it? Funny how fast you jump on Rodgers for supporting his friend. Even if Braun did f up, at least he knows who his friends are. I suppose all famous people shouldn’t say anything that could somehow come back to bite them. Let’s all cheer for vanilla!!!
In other words, Skippy, I’m not going to let the likes of you run me off this blog. So, suck it hard.
I wasn’t the one crying and whining to the moderator not once, not twice but 4 times in the span of 2 hours that you were helpless and I hurt your feelings when in fact you were on a hysterical rant.
I can’t help it if you don’t and can’t comprehend English. You having to repeat 4th grade 3 times and 5th grade 4 times has taken it’s toll on you and scarred you for life leaving you in your current mental state.
bummer , I really did have some hopes for eric wright ! he looked pretty good coming out that year ! oh well it didn’t hurt us to take a look (dennis) so , no harm no foul
omg ! I guess I did make the ‘I love cox’ comment ! aw man can I now be guilty of making a homophobic remark ?
oh wait … here’s one for debate . does ‘I love cox’ qualify as homophobic ? maybe our resident smart guy Delmar dennis can help us out here !
“BTW, I suppose you won’t watch the Niners this year since Brooks isn’t going to be punished for his alleged assault. Boo hoo. Internet nanny loses his way. Waaah!”
The penalty for Brooks should be that for this entire training camp he has to eat, sleep, practice and play with only Cox.
Does Whitner run the team? No. Does he work in the front office? No. Does he work for the league office? No.
If something does happen, what then, skippy? A parade for you? You get to gloat that Brooks was punished? Yay Bullitt!!! Brooks has to do 250 hours of community service!! Good call!!!
““BTW, I suppose you won’t watch the Niners this year since Brooks isn’t going to be punished for his alleged assault. Boo hoo. Internet nanny loses his way. Waaah!”
Rob – Hope u get some good seats for that TB game it should be one for the books. Once we stomp Seattle in week two we should really be in a groove by the time that game comes around.
Please at least make sense, Buwwitt. I think your train has left the tracks. You are a couple beers short of a 12 pack. A few brick shy of a load. A couple puppies short of 101.
Rob I’m going to be working on a road trip to DC for the MNF Matchup between Kaep and RG III in November.
Unca- I’ll leave the stripper clubs for you to check out. I don’t have much interest in them or Courtney Cocks, your cross dressing stripper friend. Please don’t tell me how you got to know this cross dressing Courtney Cocks so well, I do not want to know.
“You watch. Once next year rolls around, Braun will be back on the team. As long as he acts very contrite and thoroughly chastened. Time heals all wounds. The fans don’t care. The players? Well, if he hits, they won’t care either. Christ, he’s signed through 2020. Problem is, take a look at Melky Cabrera’s numbers from this year to last. Bit of a drop off.”
Ok even “IF”??? Braun did screw up and has admitted to it. Only Chuckles still thinks it’s a question of if.
I think everyone can see your support for Braun is both implicit and explicit. You think next year is business as usual for him as if he did nothing wrong
I’m sorry you fail to understand basic English, Buwwitt. Nowhere in that do I say I defend his actions.
I’m merely stating the reality of the situation. That being, the fans don’t give a rat’s ass about steroids. They got over it 8 years ago. If Ryan acts contrite, and he hits .310 and drives in 108, they will embrace him.
He’s a liar and a tool. He cheated, got away with it, threw the Fed Ex guy (among others) under the bus, gets busted AGAIN, and NOW wants to put it behind him? These ‘punishments’ are a joke. It should be 2 year ban for the 1st positive, and a lifetime ban for the 2nd. Bud is a wimp. The NFL has their steroid deal wired. Don’t ask, don’t tell. Either way, you have to be monumentally stupid (or lazy) to get caught these days.
I hear they moved Fleming inside. Too many more promising OLBs. I would not be completely surprised if they release him as soon as he practices and is officially healthy.
Percy Harvin is having hip problems. I can sympathize. But I don’t have to play WR in the NFL with mine. Advantage moi.
We lose Crabtree and now Seattle possibly loses Harvin. All of a sudden the Rams have the best receiving corps in the division. Don’t sleep on the Rams.
And need I remind you that the Rams got rid of Craig Dahl and we picked him up. That’s a two game swing in the standings right there alone.
No, Dennis, you are depressing. Day one of training camp and you’ve given up? A new record. Why bother?
There are pollyanna fans, and then there are Morrissey fans. Then there’s you. You re are on the ledge and ready to jump a month and a half before the first game? Weak sauce, skippy.
The only “real” fans are fans who think just like him. Cheers when he cheers and objects when he objects. Anything short of that is heresy!
And when he drives he drives 10 mph over the speed limit and constantly cusses the morons driving slower and the maniacs driving faster.
Berger, sometimes hanging a bio-hazard sign on the door on the way out is the only decent thing to do.
Then there are folks that post vaguely obscure posts that neither threaten nor cajole, nor have any point at all. Thanks NoFear. Another gem of, well, something. Everybody does that on the road. Was it Loius CK who had the diatribe about driving? Funny stuff.