If your otherwise healthy baby cries for more than three hours in a row, on three or more days a week, for at least three weeks, then it's probably colic. (Yes, that's a lot of crying.) Colic peaks around six weeks, and then tapers off to an hour or two of crying by the time your baby is 3 or 4 months old.
Babies with colic can have lengthy bouts of crying at any time during the day, and sometimes their crying gets worse in the evening. It can be rough on parents, who are desperate to soothe their baby but have a hard time finding anything that works.
It's a good idea to check with your baby's healthcare provider first to rule out any medical condition that could be causing your baby's crying. If your baby is healthy, and colic is indeed the problem, try the tips below for soothing your baby. Your baby's doctor might have some suggestions too.
Your baby might enjoy a gentle massage, but be sensitive to how she responds. She may feel overstimulated. (Chiropractic care has not been proven helpful with colic.)
Babies like sounds that remind them of the rhythmic heartbeat and gentle whooshing noises they heard in the womb. Your baby might find it comforting to sit in his infant seat near the clothes dryer as it's running or snuggle in a front carrier while you vacuum. Or he might calm down when the exhaust fan is on in the kitchen.
Some babies are comforted by motion, noise, and activity, but others need less stimulation and respond better to quiet, stillness, and darkness.
Gentle motion can be soothing, so try rocking your baby. You can put her in a baby swing, but if your baby falls asleep in the swing, it's safest to move her to a crib.
It might be easier for your baby to settle if you walk around the house carrying her in a front carrier or sling. She may prefer being held higher in the pack, close to your chest and your heartbeat. Or try gently bouncing up and down in this position while hugging your baby close.
If you've been indoors, it may help to take your baby for a walk in a stroller, sling, or front carrier. The new sights, sounds, and smells may distract her, and the fresh air and rhythmic movement of walking may calm her enough to fall asleep.
On the other hand, if you've been out and about with your baby all morning, some quiet time at home might be just what she needs.
Your baby might be most comfortable cradled in your arms, or he might prefer a more upright position, or even lying tummy-down across your lap. Try different positions when he's upset to see if he seems to prefer one position over another.
Think about how snug your baby was before her birth, and you'll have a good idea how wide the world seems to her right now. Swaddling – wrapping your infant snugly in a blanket or cloth – can help a baby feel less out of control. You can try swaddling your baby during feedings if she has trouble settling down enough to eat, or wrap her up before her usual colicky period or before you put her down to sleep.
Not only might swaddling help your colicky baby get to sleep, there's a good chance it will help her stay asleep, too.
Researchers have found that babies who are swaddled sleep more soundly than those who aren't. That's because when a baby twitches during sleep, her own movements can wake her up. Swaddling keeps that little twitch from becoming a full-fledged flail she's unlikely to sleep through.
It's best to keep your swaddled baby where you can keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't roll onto her stomach and wind up face down on the mattress. To reduce this risk, stop swaddling your baby when she's about 2 months old (or is able to roll over).
A warm bath in the middle of your baby's colic time might distract and relax him. Some babies are soothed by the spray of a handheld nozzle on their back. Your baby may enjoy the rhythmic pulsing of the warm water as well as the sound.
Anything that helps your baby calm down is a lifesaver right now. For some babies, sucking is the ultimate soother. Consider offering her a pacifier, or encourage your baby to suck on her finger by gently putting it in her mouth.
Gas doesn't cause colic, but some colicky babies also suffer from gassiness because they tend to swallow air while crying. Keep your baby upright during feedings, and burp him often to try to ease gas pain.
Some babies enjoy the feeling of warm water against their belly. Fill a hot water bottle with lukewarm water and wrap it in a towel. (Don't make the water too hot – what feels warm to you might be too hot for your baby.) Place it on your belly and let your baby lie on top of you.
Studies have shown that babies with colic have different gut bacteria than babies who don't have colic. Probiotics helped reduce colic symptoms in some of these babies, though the American Academy of Pediatrics says it's too early to know whether probiotics work well enough to use for all colicky babies. If you'd like to give probiotics a try, ask your provider to recommend a probiotic for your baby.
Another cause of tummy trouble that mimics (but doesn't cause) colic is an intolerance or an allergy to cow's milk protein or other food. If you think that might be causing your baby problems, here are some things to try:
If you think your baby may be sensitive to something in your breast milk, talk to your healthcare provider. It may help to eliminate all dairy products for a couple weeks. (That's how long it takes for the cow's milk protein to be cleared from your milk.)
If that doesn't do the trick, consider taking a look at foods other than dairy products. There's plenty of controversy about which ones are problematic (and the data is conflicting), but potential suspects include caffeine, wheat, eggs, nuts, onions, and cabbage.
Take a break from eating likely offenders for a few days to see if you can identify any troublesome foods that might be making your baby uncomfortable. Reintroduce them one at a time, waiting to see if your baby reacts to one item before adding another. The process takes a while, but it might save your baby some crying time.
Again, formula doesn't cause colic, but switching kinds may be worth a try if your baby is crying excessively. Ask your baby's doctor about switching to a formula that has partially or extensively hydrolyzed cow's milk protein.
Other than probiotics (mentioned above), you can try gripe water or antigas (simethicone/mylicon) drops sold over-the-counter. Neither one has been proven effective, but they are commonly used for gas pain in babies and are generally considered safe.
Infant cereal or other solid foods. Your baby isn't ready to digest solid food, and giving them to her won't help her feel better.
Herbal teas or supplements. Some studies show that certain herbs can relieve colic, but they can also be unsafe because the strength, dosage, and quality of the herbs can't be guaranteed. That's why many experts advise against giving herbs to your baby, while others recommend that you only do so under the guidance of your baby's doctor.
An inconsolable baby is a tough trial for a new parent. It's enough to make you cry. Go ahead. Also keep in mind:
When your baby rejects your attempts to console her or seems angry with you, remind yourself that she's too young to comprehend the concept of blame. And while there are ways to try to console her, colic has nothing to do with your parenting skills.
Share baby care with your partner. Have a friend or relative take over for you once in a while so you can take a peaceful walk or a refreshing shower.
If you find yourself becoming angry or frustrated with your baby, take a deep breath and gently lay her in her crib. Then call a friend or a relative to come and stay with your baby while you calm down.
If there's nobody you can call to come and support you in person, contact a local crisis hotline or a child abuse hotline. The people who staff these phones know how to help.
You may not be able to keep your baby from crying. In fact, it's possible that crying is exactly what she needs to do, and you can best help her by respecting and accepting that. Continue to hold her, rock her, whisper to her – and let her cry, all the while assured of your love.
AAP. 2015a. Infant allergies and food sensitivities. American Academy of Pediatrics. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/breastfeeding/Pages/Infant-Allergies-and-Food-Sensitivities.aspx [Accessed November 2016]
AAP. 2015b. Responding to your baby's cries. American Academy of Pediatrics. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/crying-colic/Pages/Responding-to-Your-Babys-Cries.aspx [Accessed November 2016]
AAP. 2015c. Colic relief tips for parents. American Academy of Pediatrics. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/crying-colic/Pages/Colic.aspx [Accessed November 2016]
AAP. 2016b. How to calm a fussy baby: Tips for parents and caregivers. American Academy of Pediatrics. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/crying-colic/Pages/Calming-A-Fussy-Baby.aspx [Accessed November 2016]
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September has been forever logged in my mind as a time of new beginnings, as in childhood it marked the end of the summer holidays and the beginning of a new school year. Now that I have children, it has become important once again (especially as my daughter has started reception class).
But this September also marks new beginnings for my son, as he’s starting nursery two days a week. He’s 20 months and has spent the best part of a year with a childminder two half-days a week. She has been coming to our house, and then taking him out to playgroups, or to the park. But he’s never been left in a different building, with people he doesn’t know.
Well, not until last week, when he started settling at nursery; two hours, every morning, for four days. I’d not given it much thought until the time came. Having done it once with my daughter, I assumed I was a pro and it would be fine. Of course, while I may have experience of nursery settling, my son doesn’t. So he cried every morning.
I know that hanging around, attempting to calm them, doesn’t help – it makes them think you’re actually staying, and so when you do leave; they’re even more upset. But it’s blimmin’ hard handing your child over to their key worker – essentially, a stranger – and dashing out the door.
However, I mustered up all my strength and did it. And by the time I collected him each morning, he was fine – playing, or reading book. Until he spotted me, and started crying again. And my heart broke again. And I thought: am I doing the right thing? Should he be at home with me every day, instead? My children are more important than work – should I give up my career?
However, I managed to talk myself back down by remembering why nursery is AMAZING for children. So, in case others are full of guilt about sending their kids to nursery, this might help….
My son has spent his life trying to hang out with his sister, who’d prefer to hang out with her own friends. Now, he’ll get to make little friends his own age. In fact, it was when my daughter started at the same nursery that she made her first friend. It was very sweet.
At nursery, the staff are trained to work with kids. They know how to help them learn to walk, talk, read and write. Yes, we can do these things too, but when there’s also shopping, other children, work etc – there’s less time to focus on it.
Now that my daughter’s about to start school, I can really see the benefits of her having been at nursery (initially two days a week, then full-time at preschool) since she was 18 months. She finds it easy to settle into new places, trust her teachers and make friends.