Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m sure we’ve all struggled with trusting people in relationships. Be it a family member, a partner or friend, it’s the same thing. What I’m talking about isn’t those romantic relationships where everything is all smooth sailing and lovey-dovey. Life isn’t a fairytale anyway.
​​I’m talking about opening up to people in general. Like, your friends. It sure takes a while for you to open up to people in friendships too, right? A little warm up here, a little warm up there. Yeah, things ought to be easier than you thought. But hey, opening up yourself to a friend is never easy especially when the fear of being vulnerable is there. Who doesn’t regret opening up to the wrong person anyway?
Just think about it, when you let your guard down and open up, majority has the tendency to take advantage of that situation. They recognize that you’re kind, helpful, caring and understanding, so of course, even if they hurt you, you’ll never get mad at them and you’re bound to forgive them anyway. They do things to you that they probably wouldn’t do to a more… intimidating individual, I would say. You can’t always be nice. That’s how people take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set boundaries. You can give people the benefit of doubt, but never the benefit to take advantage of your kindness. Learn to limit your kindness to people.
For example, you have your so-called friends (or even family members), they broadcast your secrets that you had told them in confidence. Then you have the friends that “borrow” your stuff without asking, and then lie about it when you confront them. Wait, what about the person who took some money from you and promised to pay you back, but didn’t? Not to mention, the individuals that you trusted actually talk nasty stuff about you behind your back. After situations like these occur, you’ll come to realize that you have been so naïve in your thinking for trusting these people.
But don’t worry, you’re not the only person out there who has felt betrayed at some point. I can bet you that almost everyone has been let down and been disappointed by someone he or she once trusted (or still trust). Nevertheless, you don’t technically have to build all your walls up. You can actually learn to manage these instances. If you take time and ponder about it, you can like people and have considerably fulfilling friendships with them, even if you can’t trust them to a ​hundred. I get it. I probably sound insane for saying that untrustworthy people can still play an important part in your life. Just hear me out on this one, alright?
See, when you like a person and trust a person, they are two completely different things. You don’t have to trust someone to like them nor do you have to like someone to trust them. See where I’m getting at? When you like someone, you are enjoying his or her company. Maybe he or she makes you laugh. Or maybe this person has the same interest like you, and you guys can go talking about it for hours. Or maybe, you both like Netflix. Simple as that. You two love to be around each other. Whatever the case may be, this person adds some kind of value to your life when he or she is with you. People like this can be great friends to have in your college life, but they don’t necessarily have to be trustworthy.
On the other hand, liking someone has to do with how you feel when they’re around. Trusting them is different. It has something to do with how you feel when they are not around. When a friend shows signs that you can’t trust them, you don’t necessarily need to cut him or her off your life. You just need to be more cautious. That’s all. After all, we’re just talking about one quality here that is, trustworthiness. Just because your friend lacks that attribute, doesn’t mean it should diminish the other positive characteristics he or she possesses. Appreciate and learn to enjoy the good in them (yes, even the untrustworthy ones). Just keep in mind not to overshare your personal information with them, and please do not leave them alone with your Nikon d3200 or GoPro Camera with them. Never ever let them handle your prized possessions.
I have a few close friends and favorite people. Some of them have proven to be trustworthy and likeable. But whether they know it or not, it’s a different story. Still, I would be ignorant to expect the same level of awesomeness from everyone I meet. I say I’d be missing out a lot if I just stopped talking to everyone who was dishonest at one point or another. So there you go, you can accept people who have both positive and negative traits. Interacting with a diverse group of people with varying qualities only intensifies your quality of life.of it.
I certainly don’t trust everyone. Heck, I don’t have to like everyone. But I do give everyone a chance to impact my life in one way or another. I don’t see why you shouldn’t do the same as well. You know what they say, life is short, so make the most out ​