Reaching the peak of my biggest toll in my life. Last Dec 19, I turned 35. Yeah,the common realizations goes from going old and setting your priorities right.
But somehow, these are all just about the natural or the expected things that you think of when you celebrate your bday.
But for me, it's a whole lot of different phase in my life. For the first time, I will be telling you guys the ugly side of my persona. I'm a smoker. I had my first cigarette back in college,
I was 22 years of age, so by doing the math, I have been a smoker for 13 years. My reasons for dragging myself into the bad habit was all unreasonable. First, to "fit in" coz hey,everyone is doing it, so why do it too? Second,I made myself believe that it can help cure my IBS disorder,(irritable bowel syndrome) yeah,it helped a little..but all of these reasons are merely justification of the BAD HABIT. There is no good reason for smoking. There is no justification for all the reasons we give just to make the wrong habit rational.
It's basically the stupidiest thing to do-to start smoking. Inhaling all those irritants and chemicals inside your lungs is the dumbest thing I have ever imagined.
Today, I made a promise, with you and my blog as the witness to cut off this bad habit. I love my life. I have come to this decision because of the help of my dad.
On Christmas eve, we had a heart to heart talk. He is suffering from Emphysema and heart problems due to years of being a heavy smoker. He said to me then." anak,itigil mo na yan,or you'll end up like me.,and if you have this disease,you will wish to die early coz of the succumb pain that you can't even do the vital thing in life-breathe." My whole body trembled when he uttered those words. I'm so afraid. I don't want to get sick. I love my daughter Pauline and I want to see her life pass by with shining colors. My dad has an oxygen apparatus attached to his nose, round a clock takes his inhalers and pills. He cannot function anymore coz everything is an effort for him to move coz of his shortness of breathe.
It pains me to see him like this,but He told me that If I'll quit,his sufferings will be of a good purpose. This is the moment of truth. I feel so stupid and dumb to fall for the trick.
The trick of having to light my first cigarette and got hooked. I'm not perfect, I may relapse,but I will do my best in my human capacity to turn away from the cig and smoke.
I must admit that this is not the first time I have attempted to quit smoking,but this is the first time I have a strong motivation that is why I know I will succeed.
This a milestone in my life specially we are celebrating the new year.. I don't usually believe in making new year's resolutions and making it happen.
I have been doing that for quite some time and all fails.. The will and motivation is the soul key to success.
I'm just human, I hope you won't judge me for I have disclosed the ugly truth. It's just that I wanted to share this to all of you and somehow, you will be inspired.
Love your life,your body and don't abuse it. Life is short to compromise it. I went bailing out for the chances that I can touch lives. This is worth it. Being an inspiration doesn't mean you have to be always perfect. Sometimes, being not is also a good example for picking up lessons learned. This is by showing the reality.
"Rationalizing things will lead you to nowhere..Accepting faults and changing it is the true majesty"
I was the same - how I started, how it became a habit, how I tried quitting and always fails.. But then I realized that I can go the day without it if I focus on doing something else, and this became a habit. Telling yourself No is always a challenge, but goes a long way if you are determined to.
hi Kristina! Yup! It's hard but we can do it! Im on my 2nd week of being smoke free! yipppees :) thank you so much and belated happy holidays! :)))
You are so pretty Mommy Jaq! And congratulations on your courage to share this to the blogosphere. But hey we all have ugly secrets. I'm happy for you! I know you can do it! Wishing you a happy new year! :)
Thank you Janine,yup! it took me a lot of guts, but hey,it's worth it, specially when you can get to inspire people...:)