A Crime in the Family by Sacha Batthyany is a fascinating book. I would recommend it because it shows the horrors of both communism and Nazis. Only proves how dangerous and deadly both far-left and far-right can be, and how inhumane people were treated. I wasn’t sure in which category I should put this book, as a memoir or a history book. Because his focus is mainly on what happens to his family and how he struggled to come to terms with that, I’ve marked it as a memoir.
In the book he shows extensive passage from two diaries, one of his grandmother, Maritta Batthyany, and one of a Jewish girl who was a friend of Maritta’s, called Agnes Kupferminc. Those extracts are so revealing and interesting.
His writing style is quite unique, I did enjoy it, but it might not be to everybody’s taste. The book is a harrowing account of cruelty that happened in WW2, on both sides. He raises some important questions in the book, like the lack of memorials dedicated to people who were imprisoned in the Soviet gulags. Putin’s regime deters people from speaking out regarding this and a part of our global history is slowly but surely lost from future generations.
We all know what happened in the concentration camps in Poland, we all know about Auschwitz, but how many of us know about the prisons in Siberia, that kept foreign people in prison after the WW2 ended. The book might offer you an incentive to look further into this, I know it did that for me.
Details about the picture: The feathers are shed by the birds I feed in my garden. I collect and keep them as props for pictures.
About the author: Sacha Batthyany is a Swiss journalist. He was born in 1973 to Hungarian aristocrats living in exile.
I haven’t read this book, but the author clearly doesn’t possess all the information, saying there is a lack of memorials dedicated to people who were imprisoned in the GULAG. I’m not a Putinist at all, but last year he unveiled the Wall of Grief, a monument dedicated to people killed in political repression under Stalin.
There is a fabulous museum/archive called Memorial in Moscow, where we worked in the archives over 20 years ago, it has a vast collection of documents, including personal photos and memoirs. Those accounts are harrowing, and I still remember some stories which I read then.
There is Perm-36 site which was a Soviet forced labor camp located not far from my home town Perm, which is now a Museum. These are just a few places which spring to mind, I’m sure there are more.
Sorry to hear about your great-grandfather. He said in the book about the museum in Moscow, but that is small and the lady managing it is reluctant to speak. He also said that a few decades ago the archives were open and could be consulted, not so much now.
I think the main problem is that in the west is talked about the Holocaust, but not so much about the gulag. At least that is what I “feel”.
I usually don’t read many books about the war, but maybe I should try to broaden my horizon a little 🙂 Thanks for the recommendation!
Toxic parents by Susan Forward, Craig Faustus Buck. Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life. This is a book I would recommend to everybody. Even if you don’t have toxic parents, it is very likely that you are close to people that had, a relative, a friend, a colleague. Only for that and I wish I’ve read this book many years ago.
Forward starts her book by talking about types of toxic parents in part 1 and how to overcome their legacy in part 2. The first chapter is the “godlike parents”, the ones that are self-proclaimed perfect, the ones that think the child should submit because they are children, the toxic parents.
– Controllers, the ones that try to manage their children’s life, from where they live to whom they get married to
Reading this chapter was illuminating. I know people that didn’t take a chance because their family opposed it, even if it would have been an amazing opportunity for them. It is so sad. As I said, even if the situation is not so bad to classify it as toxic, it still makes you think of certain behaviours that are toxic.
In the second part, Forward talks about “reclaiming your life”, stating that you don’t have to forgive. I think that is great. The child was a victim, and now the adult shouldn’t have the pressure to forgive as well. She also talks about confrontation. I think that is another great idea, not because it will change something with the parents. If the toxic parents could change, they wouldn’t be toxic in the first place. But what confrontation does is to empower the child. Done as she suggests, when the time is right, with the right mindset, it can be life changing indeed.
One of the things I’ve learned and applied from the book was to use non-defensive responses. I’ve had an argument with someone and I’ve used a non-defensive response, the tension deescalated immediately. Isn’t that great?
I really think everybody should read this book. The style is great, fluid and easy to follow. She is compassionate and wonderful.
About the author: Susan Forward is one an US best known therapists and a best selling author, lecturer, and frequent talk-show guest. She works at her private practice, and as a therapist, instructor, and consultant for Southern California psychiatric and medical facilities. She is the author of the #1 New York Times best sellers Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them and Toxic Parents. Susan also hosted her own nationally syndicated program on ABC Talk Radio for six years.
In 1978, she published her first book, Betrayal of Innocence, a book about child abuse. As a result of her expertise, Susan qualified as an expert witness in numerous criminal and civil trials. She formed the first private sexual abuse treatment center in Los Angeles. Her second book was Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them, another bestseller. Toxic parents is her third book. Other books published by her: Obsessive Love, Money Demons, Emotional Blackmail, When Your Lover is a Liar, and Toxic In-Laws.
Susan’s career in psychology began when she volunteered at UCLA’s Neuropsychiatric Institute. The professional staff at the Institute saw her ability to empathize and work effectively with patients. Thus she was offered a position as a paraprofessional. Susan made the decision to dedicate herself to helping others and entered graduate school at the University of Southern California. There she earned her master’s degree in Psychiatric Social Work. She then went on to earn her license as a Clinical Social Worker and later her Ph.D. in Psychology.
Craig Faustus Buck is a journalist and a nonfiction book author. He is also a writer-producer for network television.
This is such an interesting read, I would love to get a copy of this book and read in detail about toxic parents and their behaviour
This was such an interesting read, I’ve never really thought about the psychology of being a parent! Thanks