Although it has a rather murky and unconventional origin, there is no denying that Valentine’s Day is the most romantic day of the year. Whether it’s a holiday you like or not, it’s impossible the avoid the prevalence of pink and red, the heart-shaped decorations, or the way everyone seems to be making googoo eyes at each other. Especially if you’re single. The good news is that you can still have an enjoyable holiday without being in a relationship.
Valentine’s Day doesn’t just have to be about romantic love. Sure, you can also spend time hanging out with your best friends a la Leslie Knope, but why not use the the time to show yourself some love instead? Treat yourself to a tasty dinner, pamper yourself, and masturbate the holiday away. Make Valentine’s Day about getting back in touch with yourself. Literally.
Just because you’re celebrating with yourself doesn’t mean you have to skip wearing what makes you feel good about yourself. Even if you’re staying in the entire night, break out that gorgeous dress that you’ve been saving for a special occasion or those jeans you can rock the hell out of. Wear your favorite lingerie if you like. There’s no reason not to dress nice for yourself if you want to.
Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to have food from your favorite restaurant. It will probably be hectic with the number of couples heading out for the evening, which is why getting takeout might be a good alternative. If you don’t mind the chaos, have a meal by yourself and enjoy it. There’s nothing to say you can’t take yourself out, but, if you’re anything like me and would prefer to eat at home, why not cook yourself something delicious? You could try something new, like roasted red pepper fettuccine with creamy feta sauce, or something fun, like mini heart pizzas. Don’t forget to make yourself some sort of yummy dessert too! Chocolate covered strawberry hearts and no-bake Valentine’s Day Chex Mix.
This one is pretty self-explanatory – do whatever it is you like to do to put yourself in the mood for a little, or even a lot, of self love. After all, this night is about celebrating yourself. Light some candles, dim the lights, pour yourself a glass of wine if that’s your thing. Consider taking a nice, relaxing bath complete with your favorite bath bomb (try Sex Bomb and Tisty Tosty by Lush) while you read erotica. The good part about erotica is that it’s all over the internet. Buying works from indie authors is another great option because not only will you know the work has been edited, but you’ll also have the satisfaction of supporting the author financially. As a lesbian, I haven’t read any heterosexual erotica, but if you like reading lesbian erotica, Treasure by Rebekah Weatherspoon, A Touch of Temptation by Julie Blair, and The Muse by Meghan O’Brien, are musts.
You’re on a date with yourself and can take things as fast or as slow or go for as long or as short as you want. This night is all about you, after all. So why not try a massage oil that doubles as a lube, such as Uberlube or Ocean Sensuals Sensual Massage, and knead the tension from your muscles until you’re good and relaxed. You can proceed with just lube and your fingers or hands, or opt for a toy. (If you do choose to use a toy, always use lube so you don’t hurt yourself! Also, never mix silicone toys with silicone-based lube unless you’re okay with your toys getting ruined.) If you haven’t really used sex toys before, the Pirouette Waterproof Vibrator is a non-intimidating option that you can have a lot of fun with. It’s a classic so even if you are more experienced, you’ll still probably enjoy it. The Felicity Wand is a bit more advanced in that it provides clitoral and penetrative stimulation at the same time. And if you really feel like treating yourself, check out the Twenty One Vibrating Diamond, a toy that is exactly what it sounds like – a sex toy shaped like a giant diamond. How fun is that?
Your Valentine’s Day date with yourself is coming to a close. You’ve pampered yourself by either making or buying yourself a great dinner, you feel hot in your favorite outfit, and you showed yourself how good being single can be. So why not finish your night the right way? Put on your comfiest old pajamas and curl up, while you catch up on your favorite TV show, start a book you’ve been meaning to get to while you sip peppermint tea, or even break out the adult coloring books while you listen to your favorite band.
Do whatever you want. The best thing about having a date with yourself on Valentine’s Day is that you can spend it exactly the way you want and no one can tell you differently. Pick and choose from this list what appeals to you. The only important thing is that, in some form or another, you show yourself some love.
Kelley O'Brien is a chronically ill and disabled lesbian freelance writer living in Ohio with her partner. In the past, she has written for Self, Bustle, INTO, Rodale's Organic Lifestyle, and more. Find Kelley on Twitter @killjoy_kelley or her website at kelleyobrien.com.
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