Review (5/5): She’s never looked so good as she does in this Merkin
It was an unfortunate evening in the fall of 2002 when a chemical spilled and I lost my natural pubic hair. As a result, I’ve had to hide my shame for 20 years, purchasing Merkins to attract my male counterparts without the shame of my bald ham wallet. It’s called a whisker biscuit not a smooth biscuit.
Back to the merkin. Now you might be thinking to yourself, “$70 for a pubic toupee? That’s obscene!“ But let me tell you this. This is the highest quality pubic hair you can find outside of Kazakhstan.
When I wear my merkin in public, people stopped me on the street and asked me where I purchased such a high-quality product. Amazon, I reply, naturally. If anyone’s going to make sure that I have access to fake pubic hair, it’s Jeff Bezos.
Whether you act in porn, have suffered a fatal chemical accident like myself, or maybe you just deal with alopecia, this Merkin screams natural. The best way to clean is to hand wash and then dry on a clothesline outside. Don’t let your dog find it, you will need a new $70 pubic toupee in that case.