Review (5/5): I think this stuff was made by Jesus, Mary, and Joseph themselves.
Holy crap. I don't even know what to say. How did I go my whole entire life without this up until the point when serendipity brought someone to mention this stuff in my reality tv subreddit? I literally don't even know what to say. I touched it, and it's the best feeling stuff I've ever felt. I put it on my skin... the soft, thick consistency.... the smell..... I've had terrible eczema in my life, and am I never going to have to deal with the horrors of that again? I've been putting it on constantly since I got it, and I think this 9 oz container will last me for the rest of my lifetime. All of this for $12? Everyone on planet earth needs to know about this stuff.