Review (1/5): Form Over Function, to the Extreme
Most of the products that I receive through the Amazon Vine program are decent to excellent, but I sometimes get really bad ones. I never let the fact that I receive the products free affect my ratings. I always call the shots as I see them. This SUPRENT razor is the latest example; its stunning manifestation of idiotic product design catapulted it in one fell swoop to the top of my ignominious list of “Worst Products E-V-E-R!”
It’s so bad that I shan’t waste time enumerating its faults in detail, or in trying to be humorous or clever as I usually do in my reviews. This stinker doesn’t even warrant the effort it takes to make a bulletized list, but herewith I reluctantly give it that much attention:
- It’s too heavy to maneuver around the face or wherever.
- The head is too big for precise shaving in tight areas such as under the nose.
- The “38.5° Golden Shaving Angle” is the wrong angle for just about every surface.
- The worst of its many bone-headed “features” is that the chrome-plated zinc handle is too thin for a firm grip; it slips, slides and spins with Teflon-like frictionlessness in the hand, which is not only annoying but actually dangerous. How could it not occur to the geniuses who designed it that a mirror-smooth chromed metal surface with absolutely NO knurling, stippling or any other texture would be even MORE slippery when held in a wet hand with soapy shaving cream on it? Did anyone even try it out on a real face before they shipped it out the door?
- Speaking of shaving cream, the little can that comes in this set is useless. It’s as light and insubstantial as NASA Aerogel, and disappears to a thin oily layer when rubbed in. I don’t know what it is, but it’s NOT like any other shaving cream that I’ve ever used.
- The huge, unwieldy, six-blade head does NOT glide smoothly across the skin; the blades catch and grab at every opportunity, and do NOT shave closely.
- Since no blade replacements show up on Amazon, they’re clearly rare, hard to find and, if you can find them, no doubt they’re obscenely expensive.
- The stylish, oh-so-elegant “portfolio” that accompanies this set is the most pretentious thing that I’ve seen in a long time. I mean, it’s a RAZOR, not the latest iPad Pro!
Anyone who spends 50 bucks for this set rather than getting it for free will surely be wildly disappointed and probably furious once they realize what they got for their money. It’s not worth 50 cents. It’s all about form over function, with form checking in at 100% and function zero.
In the past, I’ve gotten some marginal razors through Vine, but none have been so bad that I’ve thrown them away rather than using them. This one is the exception.
The minimum-allowed one-star rating is far too generous for this “object” that, whatever it is, doesn’t qualify as a “razor” in any practical way. Caveat emptor!