question: Relationship status?
answers: I'll leave the relations to the database.

question: How do you get the code for the bank vault?
answers: You checkout their branch.

question: How did the developer announce their engagement?
answers: They <code>return</code>ed <code>true</code>!

question: Why did the security conscious engineer refuse to pay their dinner bill?
answers: Because they could not verify the checksum.

question: What do you call a busy waiter?
answers: A server.

question: What do you call an idle server?
answers: A waiter.

question: How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
answers: Yes.

question: What diet did the ghost developer go on?
answers: Boooooolean

question: Why was the developer unhappy at their job?
answers: They wanted arrays.

question: Why did 10 get paid less than "10"?
answers: There was workplace inequality.

question: Why was the function sad after a successful first call?
answers: It didn’t get a callback.

question: Why did the angry function exceed the callstack size?
answers: It got into an Argument with itself

question: Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
answers: Inheritance

question: Why did the developer ground their kid?
answers: They weren't telling the truthy

question: What did the array say after it was extended?
answers: Stop objectifying me.

question: Where did the parallel function wash its hands?
answers: Async

question: I'm starting a band called HTML Encoder
answers: Looking to buy a guitar \&

question: Why did the functions stop calling each other?
answers: Because they had constant arguments.

question: What's the second movie about a database engineer called?
answers: The SQL.

question: Why doesn't Hollywood make more Big Data movies?
answers: NoSQL.

question: What did the spider do on the computer?
answers: Made a website!

question: What did the computer do at lunchtime?
answers: Had a byte!

question: What does a baby computer call his father?
answers: Data!

question: Why did the computer keep sneezing?
answers: It had a virus!

question: What is a computer virus?
answers: A terminal illness!

question: Why was the computer freezing?
answers: It left its Windows open!

question: Why was there a bug in the computer?
answers: Because it was looking for a byte to eat?

question: Why did the computer squeak?
answers: Because someone stepped on its mouse!

question: What do you get when you cross a computer and a life guard?
answers: A screensaver!

question: Where do all the cool mice live?
answers: In their mousepads!

question: What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant?
answers: Lots of memory!

question: How do programming pirates pass method parameters?
answers: Varrrrarrrgs.

question: How do programming shepherds count their flock?
answers: With lambda functions

question: What airline do developers prefer when they're in a rush?
answers: Delta.

question: How did pirates collaborate before computers?
answers: Pier to pier networking.

question: Why don't bachelors like Git?
answers: Because they are afraid to commit.

question: A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks:
answers: Can I JOIN you?

question: How does a developer make a cheer?
answers: ["hip","hip"] // (hip hip array!)

question: Why was the developer's family upset with them at dinner?
answers: They forgot to git squash before going home

question: What did JavaScript call his son?
answers: JSON!

question: What did the proud React component say to its child?
answers: I've got to give you props

question: What did the server say to his client who was having a bad day?
answers: Everything's going to be 200

question: Why did the developer go broke?
answers: Because they used up all their cache

question: Are computers dangerous?
answers: Nah, they don't byte. They just nibble a bit.

question: How did the mafioso kill the Node server?
answers: Tie await to it and let it async.

question: You know what the best thing about booleans is?
answers: Even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.

question: Why couldn’t the user update a file on a shared server?
answers: They didn’t have the write permissions

question: What do you do when you can't understand your husband's behavior?
answers: man man

question: What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
answers: A URLogist

question: How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?
answers: None. It's a hardware issue

question: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
answers: Because 31 OCT == 25 DEC

question: Why do kayakers make bad programmers?
answers: Because they're afraid of waterfall.

question: What are computers' favorite snacks?
answers: Microchips, phish sticks, and cookies. But just a few bytes of each.

question: What do computers love to do at the beach?
answers: Put on some spam block for protection so they can safely surf the net while catching some .WAVs!

question: What do you call a computer that sings?
answers: A-dell.

question: What's a compiler developer's favorite spice?
answers: Parsley.

question: When do front end developers go out to eat?
answers: On their lunch <code>&lt;&#98;&#114;&gt;</code>.

question: A SQL developer walked into a NoSQL bar.
answers: They left because they couldn't find a table.

question: How do you help JS errors?
answers: You <code>console</code> them!

question: Why don't parents teach their kids about regular expressions?
answers: Because they don't want them playing with matches

question: Why didn't the <code>div</code> get invited to the dinner party?
answers: Because it had no <code>class</code>!

question: Why aren't cryptocurrency engineers allowed to vote?
answers: Because they're miners!

question: Why did the constant break up with the variable?
answers: Because they changed.

question: Why did the database administrator leave his wife?
answers: She had one-to-many relationships.

question: What did the Class say in court when put on trial?
answers: I strongly object!

question: Why do Java developers wear glasses?
answers: Because they don't C#!

question: What are the three hardest problems in computer science?
answers: Naming things and off-by-one errors

question: What did the fruit basket say to the developer?
answers: I hope you're ready for some pear programming!

question: How does a sysadmin keep a fire going?
answers: They rotate the logs.

question: I love you and I only love you. Does that turn you on?
answers: ATE:** No.

question: Why do all HTML emails get blocked?
answers: Because they are all <code>span</code>

question: What did the process say after working in an infinite loop all day?
answers: I need a break.

question: An Agent died unexpectedly. How was the crime solved?
answers: By looking at the Stack Trace.

question: Why did the document store go out of business?
answers: It had NoSQL.

question: Why can't SQL and NoSQL Developers date one other?
answers: Because they don't agree on relationships.

question: Why is Python like the Soviet Union?
answers: Because it has no private fields

question: Where did the API go to eat?
answers: To the RESTaurant

question: Why shouldn't you trust Matlab developers?
answers: Because they're always plotting something.

question: Why did the developer have to quit smoking?
answers: Because they couldn't afford to pay the new syntax.

question: How does a programmer open a jar for their significant other?
answers: They install Java

question: What did the psychic say to the developers?
answers: I see dev people.

question: Where does the pirate stash all of their digital treasures?
answers: RAR

question: What is React's favorite movie genre?
answers: Suspense

question: Why couldn't the React component understand the joke?
answers: Because it didn't get the context.

question: What did XHR say to AJAX when it thought it was being a Mean Girl?
answers: Stop trying to make fetch happen!

question: What was Grace Hopper's favorite car?
answers: VW Bug

question: What sits on a pirate's shoulder and calls, "Pieces of seven, Pieces of seven"?
answers: Parroty error.

question: What is a pirate's favorite programming language?
answers: You'd think it was R, but a pirate's first love is Objectively C.

question: Why did the programmer come home crying?"
answers: His friends were always boolean him.

question: What PostgreSQL library should Python developers use for adult-oriented code?
answers: psycoPG13

question: What accommodations did the JavaScript developer request at the hotel?
answers: A room with a Vue.

question: Where do developers drink?
answers: The Foo bar

question: Why do assembly programmers need to know how to swim?
answers: Because they work below C level.

question: Who used the internet before it was cool?
answers: Httpsters

question: What kind of computer can hold a musical note?
answers: A Dell.

question: Why did the web developer always go to the wrong hotel room?
answers: They were in room 301.

question: How do you stop a web developer stealing your stuff?
answers: Write 403 on it.

question: Why are machine learning models so fit?
answers: Because they do weight training.

question: Why did Gargamel shut down the internet?
answers: Because he didn't want people **SMURFING** the web!

question: What did the command line die of?
answers: A Terminal illness.

question: Did you hear what the clumsy cryptographer did to their password?
answers: Made a hash of it.

question: Why are keyboards always working so hard?
answers: Cause they have two shifts!

question: What are clouds made of?
answers: Mostly linux servers.

question: How does Mr. Potato Head (dev edition 0.0.1) remove his mustache?
answers: git stache pop

question: Why can't you use 'Soup' as your password?
answers: Because it isn't <code>stroganoff</code>

question: Why do developers use mechanical keyboards?
answers: To strongly type their code.

question: What is a developer's favorite country song?
answers: Hello World - by Lady Antebellum

question: Why was nobody given food at the developer conference?
answers: It was a serverless function!

question: Why did the developer cancel their dinner plans?
answers: They were unable to fulfil peer dependencies

question: Why did the functional programmer finally move out of their house?
answers: For(e) closure

question: How do JavaScript developers break up?
answers: They always promise to callback

question: Why do developers mixup Terminals and Polygraphs?
answers: Because they both can see a lie (CLI)

question: Did you hear about the programmer that was scared of IDEs?
answers: They retreated back into their shell

question: What do you call optimistic front-end developers?
answers: Stack half-full developers.

question: Have you heard the one about the Corduroy pillow?
answers: It's making HEADLINES!

question: Hey officer! How did the hackers escape?
answers: No idea. They just ransomware.

question: Why can’t data engineers become hat makers?
answers: They can only guarantee two thirds of a CAP!

question: How did the hippie learn about database transactions?
answers: By taking ACID

question: Why is it called the Dark Ages?
answers: There were a lot of KNIGHTS!

question: What did the Network Administrator say when they caught a nasty virus?
answers: It hurts when IP

question: Which programming language is the shortest?
answers: HTML. Because it doesn't have a neck between its <code>head</code> and <code>body</code>.

question: What good can come of 2989 witches casting a hex?
answers: None, it is always 0xBAD

question: Did you hear about the witch who was off by two when casting a hex?
answers: They failed to make the target DEAD and made them DEAF instead!

question: Why do Front-End Developers eat lunch alone?
answers: Because, they don't know how to join tables.

question: What advice do you give to a JS developer who has never played baseball?
answers: Try catch.

question: Why are the arrays that Chuck Norris declare, of infinite size.
answers: Because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.

question: Why doesn't Chuck Norris need garbage collection.
answers: Because he doesn’t call <code>.Dispose()</code>, he calls <code>.DropKick()</code>.

question: How did the programmer die in the shower?
answers: He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

question: What did the Java code say to the C code?
answers: You've got no class.

question: What is the most used language in programming?
answers: Profanity.

question: Why did the geek add <code>body { padding-top: 1000px; }</code> to his Facebook profile?
answers: He wanted to keep a low profile.

question: Why did the developer quit his job?
answers: He did not get arrays.

question: Why couldn't the developer pull the weeds from the garden?
answers: They didn't have root access.

question: How do you tell HTML from HTML5?
answers: Try it out in Internet Explorer, if it does not work then it's HTML5.

question: What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
answers: They both become useless when you open windows.

question: Hamlet: To be - or not to be...
answers: Programmer: True !

question: What do cats and programmers have in common?
answers: When either one is unusually happy and excited, an appropriate question would be, "did you find a bug".

question: Why was the developer unable to find his room?
answers: His room card said 404

question: How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted scientist?
answers: An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.

question: How do you comfort a JS bug?
answers: You console it

question: What's 0.1+0.2?
answers: It's 0.30000000000000004

question: Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
answers: Because light attracts bugs.

question: Did you know?
answers: Spiders are the only web developers in the world that like finding bugs

question: Don't add a programming language to your skills list after watching a 15-minute video on it.
answers: Yes wait until you've written hello world

question: Why do python developers wear glasses?
answers: Because they can't C

question: Why does the Docker container fail?
answers: So that, Kubernetes can start it again

question: I.. CAN'T GET.. IT.. OFF!!
answers: DUDE, THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR CAPS LOCK IS ON

question: What do NASA programmers do on the weekends?
answers: They hit the space bar

question: What do you call a programmer from Finland?
answers: Nerdic

question: Want to know the biggest lie in the universe?
answers: I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions

question: What is the biggest lie you have heard from a programmer?
answers: It should work now.

question: Why did the functional programmer get thrown out of school?
answers: Because he refused to take classes