question: An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, 'Can I join you?
answers: '.

question: 'Knock, knock.' 'Who's there?
answers: ' ... very long pause ... 'Java.'.

question: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
answers:  None, that's a hardware problem..

question: What's the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
answers:  Inheritance..

question: Why don't jokes work in octal?
answers:  Because 7 10 11..

question: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
answers:  None, they just make darkness a standard..

question: Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, 'Are you ill?
answers: ' The second byte replies, 'No, just feeling a bit off.'.

question: Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, 'Can I get you anything?
answers: ' 'Yeah,' replies the bytes. 'Make us a double.'.

question: Why did the programmer quit his job?
answers:  Because he didn't get arrays..

question: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?
answers:  Because they don't see sharp..

question: How come there is no obfuscated Perl contest?
answers:  Because everyone would win..

question: How many programmers does it take to kill a cockroach?
answers:  Two: one holds, the other installs Windows on it..

question: What do you call a programmer from Finland?
answers:  Nerdic..

question: What did the Java code say to the C code?
answers:  A: You've got no class..

question: Why did Microsoft name their search engine BING?
answers:  Because It's Not Google..

question: Child: Dad, why does the sun rise in the east and set in the west?
answers:  Dad: Son, it's working, don't touch it..

question: Why do programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas?
answers:  Because OCT 31 == DEC 25..

question: How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
answers:  false..

question: Waiter: Would you like coffee or tea?
answers:  Programmer: Yes..

question: What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog?
answers:  Cat dog sin theta..

question: What is Benoit B. Mandelbrot's middle name?
answers:  Benoit B. Mandelbrot..

question: Why are you always smiling?
answers:  That's just my... regular expression..

question: Why do sin and tan work?
answers:  Just cos..

question: How do you generate a random string?
answers:  Put a first year Computer Science student in Vim and ask them to save and exit..

question: How do you know whether a person is a Vim user?
answers:  Don't worry, they'll tell you..

question: Waiter: He's choking! Is anyone a doctor?
answers:  Programmer: I'm a Vim user..

question: How to explain the movie Inception to a programmer?
answers:  When you run a VM inside another VM, inside another VM ... everything runs real slow!.

question: What do you call a parrot that says "Squawk! Pieces of nine! Pieces of nine!"?
answers:  A parrot-ey error..

question: What do you call eight hobbits?
answers:  A hobbyte..

question: How many QAs does it take to change a lightbulb?
answers:  They noticed that the room was dark. They don't fix problems, they find them..

question: What do you mean 911 is only for emergencies?
answers:  I've got a merge conflict..

question: Why did the QA cross the road?
answers:  To ruin everyone's day..

question: Finding a good PHP developer is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Or is it a hackstack in a needle?
answers: .

question: A COBOL programmer makes millions with Y2K remediation and decides to get cryogenically frozen. "The year is 9999. You know COBOL, right?
answers: ".

question: What does 'Emacs' stand for?
answers:  'Exclusively used by middle aged computer scientists.'.

question: What does pyjokes have in common with Adobe Flash?
answers:  It gets updated all the time, but never gets any better..

question: Why does Waldo only wear stripes?
answers:  Because he doesn't want to be spotted..