question: What kind of pig can you ignore at a party?
answers: A wild bore.

question: What kind of murderer has fiber?
answers: A cereal killer.

question: What did the landlord say as he threw Shakespeare out of his pub?
answers: You're bard.

question: What's brown and sticky?
answers: A stick.

question: What happens to Composers when they die?
answers: They decompose.

question: Where can you find a Mozambique?
answers: On a mozam-bird.

question: Where do you keep a baby ape?
answers: In an apricot.

question: What is green and if it were to fall from a tree would kill you?
answers: A snooker table.

question: What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
answers: Hot cross bunnies.

question: What will Postman Pat be called when he retires?
answers: Pat.

question: Where do sheep get their haircut?
answers: At the Bah-Bah shop.

question: Where is a cemetery located in any town?
answers: In the dead center of it.

question: What is read white and black all over?
answers: A used newspaper.

question: Why do bees hum?
answers: Because they don't know the words.

question: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
answers: No idear.

question: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
answers: A carrot.

question: What do you call an italian with a rubber toe?
answers: Roberto.

question: How do you stop a bear from charging?
answers: By taking away its credit card.

question: What do u call thieves on a washing line?
answers: knickers.

question: What has more courage, a stump or a rock?
answers: A rock because it's a little boulder.

question: Where do horses go when they are injured or hurt?
answers: The horsepital.

question: Why did the mouse squeak?
answers: Because it needed oiling.

question: How do you keep your nose from running?
answers: By teaching it to walk.

question: What can you eat in a cyber cafe?
answers: Micro Chips.

question: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
answers: Because they have big fingers.

question: What do you call a mushroom who buys you lots of drinks?
answers: A fungi to be with.

question: Who is a penguin's favourite relative?
answers: Aunt Artica.

question: Why is a tree better than a guard dog?
answers: It has more bark.

question: What has four wheels and flies?
answers: A garbage truck.

question: What's black, white, blue, and purple all over?
answers: A zebra with a bruise.

question: Why didn't the teddy bear finish it's dinner?
answers: Because it was stuffed.

question: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
answers: To get his quarterback.

question: If I eat three cakes in the morning and three for tea, what will I have?
answers: A tummyache.

question: Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?
answers: Because a moon rock is a little meteor.

question: What is the leading cause of dry skin?
answers: Towels.

question: Why did the projector blush?
answers: Because it saw the film strip.

question: Why aren't elephants allowed on the beach?
answers: Because they can't keep their trunks up.

question: What do u call a gingerbread man with only one leg?
answers: Limp Biscuit.

question: What do you give dead bread?
answers: A toast mortem.

question: What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
answers: A polo bear.

question: What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit?
answers: An egg.

question: What do you call a man with seagulls flying around his face?
answers: Cliff.

question: How is the new furniture store doing?
answers: Sofa so good.

question: What do you call a person who used to like tractors a lot?
answers: An extractor fan.

question: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
answers: To get to the body shop.

question: What do you call a dog with no legs?
answers: Hotdog.

question: What do you call an Earl who is awarded an OBE?
answers: Earlobe.

question: What do you call a dog named Minton that ate all the shuttlecocks?
answers: Badminton.

question: What do you call a fish with three eyes?
answers: Fiiish.

question: How do you tell if an ant is a male ant or a female ant?
answers: Drop it in water. If it floats, it's boy-ant.

question: Why can't a rope?
answers: Because it can knot.

question: What do you get hanging from apple trees?
answers: Sore arms.

question: What is a crocodile's favourite card game?
answers: Snap.

question: How much did the pirate pay to get his ear pierced?
answers: A buccaneer.

question: Why didn't the watermellon marry the honeydew?
answers: Because they cantalope.

question: What are hippies?
answers: They're what leggies hang from.

question: What do you call a cow spying on another cow?
answers: A steak out.

question: What soda does an alligator drink?
answers: Croc-a cola.

question: Why are girraffes neck so long?
answers: Because their heads are so far away.

question: What do you call a man with a car on his head?
answers: Jack.

question: What time is it when an elephant sits on a lawn chair?
answers: Time to get a new chair.

question: What time is it when a fly and a flee pass each other?
answers: Fly past flee.

question: Why was the egyptian girl worried?
answers: Because her daddy was a mummy.