Year: 1872

'"HSS~ oAO"'ys ASSPs"6 sHSeS W s"0 "o'a
and endeavored to get behind the beast


thinking l would try the pats on his rear
with my boots again, in hopes they
would calm him and persuade him to re.
tire as they had done before while out
doors, but be evidently objected to any
"change of base.' and once more charged
home upon me.


This time, however, caught him by
the horns, and then the struggle COM
menced in earnest. The goat lifted up
his voice in loud protestations of foul
play. and Iopened my mouth and gave
utterance to hopes and wished in regard
to goats in general and this one in par
ticular, which it might not be proper to
repeat here, as had my hands SO full at
the time | could not give my usual
thought and attention to the selection Of
the elegant words and expressions which
usually characterize my conversation. l
finally eaid-"you brute you won't 60
out, la but" and he 1utted and he
was the strongest butter ever met with !;
SO strong that in spite of my holding by
his horns. he spread himself all over the
hall, so thoroughly stirring me up that I
laid down on the floor to recover my
equanimity. at which the goat suggested
a series of ground tumblings, which we
went through with l believe with honor
to ourselves and to the great satisfaction
Of the delighted audience-and at the
end of which picked myself up from
the floor at the foot of the stairs an6
saw the goat regaining his corner at the
end Of the hall-giv,ng victorious bleat
as he did so.


"Round two.-First knock down for
the goat" came from aloft, and outburst
of cheers and of clapping of hands fol-
lowed.


Get on to the goat and ride him, Pa"
cried one of the children.


oh yee, do Pa" shoused another,
that will be nice"


Don't you use saddle, dear Z" said
my wife. Wont the door-mat do Z"


was furious. and sprang for the ami
NAL regardless Of time or situation. He
also started for me under full sail, and as
we closed, sprang high in the air with
leg. wide apart, and his head and neck
passed under me, and lit square on his
back. seized his short tail, giving it
twist. and at the same time to make all
even, gave my legs a twist under him.
and, said |, now goat, but he must have
understood me to say now 60 it. for away
he went up and down that hall back
wards and forwards, the goat wild and
nearly so. but beginning rather to enjoy
the ride as heard the laughs and cheers
of the spectators, and knew they were
for me this time. and especially when l
heard the commendatory words from nv
wife, "Don't he ride nice for new be-
ginner -


At this point the goat. disguste1 either
with the use he was being put to, at the
peculiar curve getting on his tail, bolt
ed out of the door, and as he did so let
all go. rolled off, sprang up and shut the
door; just as the goat, having turned Oh
the step charged upon me again and
came with his whole force crashing
against one of the pannels of the door,
which he split; but from the noise out
side l judged the conclusion threw him
down the steps and ex.orted from him
a loud bleat of mingled despair and con.
temptuous indignation.


Round three.-Goat flung out the
ring came down the stairs followed by
ringing cheers and cries of Bravo,
bravo!" put out the light. and as
ascended the stairs my wife commenced
singing.


.'See the eonquering hero comes"
in which all joined, among the rest.


For some time had tender spot
which to touch would make me leap from
my chair and fairly rave round the room,
and do my best l could not regain the |
ground l lost that night on the Masonic
question. Batteries opened upon me
every Lodge night, and charge for
wheat bran appeared on my grocery bill,
which my wife said was for the goat
when he came again.


Finally compromise was effected.
was to leave my Lodge and stay at home
and the shadow of the goat should leave
the house. Our compromise has been
faithfully kept.


COTINTRy nractitiOner ono dav pasa