smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

At juvenile party one little fellow,
in the splendor of his new
clothes, went up to another with the
triumphant remark: "You amt dress
ed as well as I am. swell, retorted
the other, 81 can lick you, anyhow"
Year: 1873

"Have you ever read the Ancient
Mariner asked the Rev. Mr.. Spurg
con one day of his congregation
81 dare say you thought it one OF the
strangest imaginations ever put to-
gether, especially that part where the
old mariner represents the corpses Of
all dead men rising up to man the
ship-dead men pulling the rope,
dead men steering; dead men spread
ing the sails. I thought what a
strange idea that was. But do you
know that have lived to see it done?
1 have gone into churches; 1 have
seen a dead man in the pulpit; dead
man as deacon; a dead man hand
ling the plate; and dead men sitting
TO listen.
Year: 1873

1LOOAOA an hho"CA A1OAuOSSON'


There were fifteen travellers who halted at pub
lie house, and called for dinner. 1t was served up
and placed upon three cornered table, five sitting
on each side. They invited the landlord to dine
with them. After they had finished their meal,
they proposed to count, commencing at some one
and count five, and who ever counted five was to
leave the table, or in other words, every fifth man
to step out. They further agreed that the last
man left was to pay the bill. They counted as
to have it fall upon the landlord. Now, what seat
did the man occupy who started the count?
Year: 1873

A Daeotah Sheriff attached a show
the other day, and while tacking up
"sale notice" on the elephants
hind quarters, which the official took
for a small barn, the animal swung
his tail around. There were eight
hacks at the funeral.
Year: 1873

Ny first is Jane, but not in Sue,
My second is in brown, but not in blue,
My third is in high, but not in low,
My fourth is in rain, also in snow,
My fifth is in two, but not in four,
Ny sixth is in roof, and also in floor,
My seventh is in orchard, but not in fruit,
My eighth is in pants, but not in boots,
My whole forms the name of my son-in-law.
Mowrytown, o. FUNK.
Year: 1873

Every Business man should use neatly printed
Bill Heads and Statements. We can furnish them
nearly as cheap as yon can buy the blank paper.
$3.50.


All other Printing in proportion, at the


sepl6tf NEWS OFFICE.
Year: 1873

A most sanguinary meeting took place
during the war, near Richmond. Va.
The parties to the affair were members
of q Mississippi regiment. One OF
them was q lieutenant, and the other
had held the same grade Of Office, but
had resigned to become sutler for the
regiment. The lieutenant had credit
with the sutler, and had purchased sun.
dry articles which had been charged
against him. When settling time came
around dispute arose between the two
concerning tallow candle which was
charged in the bill. They both stub
bornIy maintained the positions they
had taken with regard to this tri6ing
matter, and finally decided to resort to
the code" for final settlement OF
the disagreement. The weapons used
were Mississippi rifles, and one who was
present says he saw both men stretched
upon the ground, dead, the aim OF each
having been unerring and fatal. Life
has been not unaptly likened TO burn
ing candle. It is snufed out with as
little ceremony, sometimes.
Year: 1873

Walking, says a writer in the june
number of the GALAXY, brings out the
true character of man. The devil nev.
er yet asked his victims to take q walk
with him. You will not be long in find
ing your companion out. All disguif es
will fall away from him. As his pores
open his character is laid bare. His
deepest ar d most private self will come
to the top. It matters little whom you
ride with, so he be not a pickpocket
for both of you will, very likely, settle
down closer and frmer in your reserve,
shaken down Like measure of corn by
the jolting, as the journey proceeds.
But walking is more vital copartner-
ship; the relation is closer and SYM
pathetic one, and you do not feel like
walking ten PAGES with stranger with
out speaking to him. Hence the fastid'
iousness of the professional walker in
choosing or admitting companion, and
hence the truth of a remark of Emer-
son, that you will generally fare better
to take your dog than to invite your
neighbor. Your cur-dog is true pedes-
trian, and Jour neighbor is very likely a
small politician. The dog enters thor
oughly into the spirit of the enterprise;
he is not Indifferent or preoccupied; he
is constantly shifting adventure, laps at
every spring, looks upon every field and
wood as new world to be explored, is
ever on some fresh trail, knows some
thing important will happen little
further on, gazes with the true wonder
seeing eyes whatever the spot or what
ever the road, finds it good to be there
in short, is just that happy, delicious,
excursive vagabond that touches one at
so many points, and whose human pro-
totype in a companion robs miles and
leagues of half their fatigue.
Year: 1873

All that have this day is thine,


A heart whose faith has never falter'd,
A love that knew no other shrine
And through all changes lives unalter'd
Had Q thousand hearts to give,


Thine all their love and faith should be,
Had thousand years to live


I'd gladly spend them all with thee.
There's not Joy in all the world


Like that Of love beyond dsceiving,
Though bolt on bolt be at 1t hurled


The heart will triumph believing.
This day my Joy hath sovereign sway
A joy which but with thee know,
The rapture Of q first fond love


Which, welded. makes heaven below!
Year: 1873

TROUBLE WITH THE HENs.-This is
the season when every owner of hens is
engaged in endeavoring to suppress the
maternal instincts in one or more of
them. The man comes home to supper,
and the wife observes: "That yaIler pull
let is on the nest again" Then the man
goes out to the coop, and says: "What
In thunder Is the matter with the beast,
anyway 2" and erawls in under the
roost to the nest and reaches in and
brings out handful of feathers. Then
the hen screams and starts for the door,
and the other hens set up a howl, and
likewise depart for that aperture, aud
the man-nearly choked by feathers and
blinded by dust-falls over the water
trough and skins his ankles on the
boxes, and finally bursts out into the
yard, with a piece of brick in each hand,
and goes after that yellow pullet, with
his face as red as lobster and his back
curiously wrought with mosaics from
the floor of that coop. When he catches
the hen he cuffs it over the head few
times to show 1t how he feels, then he
jams it under barrel, and pours pail
Of water through the cracks, and leaves
it there till morning, when II Is released
and the same operations gone over again
in the evening.-FfgGTo-
Year: 1873

franklin said, "When you run in
debt you give another power over your
liberty" Our old friend Franklin was
a practical man and uttered many wise
and truthful sayings. They were truth
full and applicable sayings in his day,
and are just as truthful now. Young
men and young women-the golden
rule of life is keep out of debtn If you
have not the means to pay for beef, eat
dry bread-but don't get in debt. If YOU
can't pay for silk dress, don't order it,
but select a calico one and plank down
your cash, but don't go in debt. This is
how to be free.
Year: 1873

The Wilmington and Reading Railroad Com
pany have ordered six new locomotives, which
will be built in Philadelphia Reading Eagle.


1t is much to be regretted that our Whining
ton machinsts have not ere TINS united on some
cooperative plan and engaged in the building Of
locomotives here. 1t seems very strange TO read
ali item like the above. Wilmington ought to
have been prepared to receive all orders for the
building of the locomotives for her own roads
Certainly this branch of industry must pay very
handsome profits, or those engaged in it would
not have become the millionares they are. 1t is
never too late to do good they say, and We hope
some effort will soon be made to start shops foI
this purpose in some part OF Wilmington. The
four railroads now entering our city and passing
through it would no doabt furnish great deal Of
work for establishment, to say nothing OF
the numerous roads on the Peninsula.
Year: 1873

While Darwin can "evove" the whole animal
kingdom, man included from a single low form Of
life AgaAsiz considers it necessary to assume sep
crate creations for the different races of men,
Agassiz calls the Darwinian theory "a mine Of as
sertion y what would Darwin say of the following
which the Scientific Press, of San Francisco quotes
from a recent lecture by Agassiz p


II have pointed out over a hundred specific diff
terences between the bonal and nervous systems
Of the white man and negro. Indeed, their frames
are alike IN no particular. There is no bone in
the negro's body which is relatively cf the same
shape size, articulation, chemically Of the same
composition as that of the white man. The negro's
bones contain far greater proportion of calcere-
Gus salts than those of the white man Even the
negro's blood is chemically a very different fluid
from that which courses in the veins of the white
man. The whole physical organization Of The me-
gro differs quite as much from the white mans as
II does from that of the chimpanzee is in his
bones muscles, nerves, and hbres, the chimpapzee
has not much farther to progress to become a white
man. This fact science inexorably demonstrates


Climate has no more TO do with the difference
between the white man and the negro than it has
with that between the negro and the chimpAnzee,
or II has between the horse and the ass or the ca
gle and the owl Each is a distinct aud separate
creation. The negro and the white man Were Gre
ated as specifically different as the owl and tbs
eagle. They were designed TO fill different places
in the system of nature. The negro is no more a
negro by accident or misfortune than the owl is
the kind of bird he Is by accident or misfortune
The negro is no more the white mans brother than
the owl Is the sister of the eagle, or the ass the
brother of the horse How stupendous, and yet
how simple, IL the doctrine that the Almighty ma
ker Of the universe has created different species Of
men. just as he has different species of the lower
animals, to fill different places and Offices in the
grand machinery Of nature"
Year: 1873

Twenty more recruits for the navy left
this city yesterday morning on the steamer
Western Metropolis, for New York. More
than 200 men have been shipped in this city
since the office was opened.
Year: 1873

Friend 4Adcertiser.. In nv last |
spoke Of the u. p. X. II. refusing to
pay taxes on the land now belonging
to the Company. l see that some
few settlers are moving on the lands,
and give as their reason for 20 doing
that the company claim that they do
not own the land, consequently It
must belong to government. How
this may end time alone will tell. |
hope the last may be the case.


People still manifest great desire
to "go west" as they have during
the last two and half centuries since
the first settlement Of America. The
constant flow Of emigration toward
the setting sun from year to year
seems unabated, advancing the line
the line of civilization nearer tho
Rocky Mountains. In order TO form
an idea of the great move n person
need only spend few days on some
through route as here on the Platte,
and notice the large number Of wagons,
each loaded with hopeful family
vending it's way toward the ''land Of
promise" They have endured many
hardsnips, and must endure many
more before they find themselves
we'll fixed in the west. Through all
this they are cheered by the magic
which dwells in those words, go home
of our own" A settler in the west
must not expect to find it one Of ease,
but must prepare 10 endure many
privations. Let any one for few
moments refer to the history Of faith
ers or grand fathers when they moved
west forty or sixty years ago, and
compare il with pioneer Of TO day.
They were obliged to hew their
homes where it required months to
bring one acre under cultivation;
where they reared their families with
out the advantage OF school or church:
where the settler retired at night
with dreadful feeling deep down in
the heart that before the rising of an
other sun he might awake in Para
disc minus his scalp.


Ii At the end of few wears, should
he succeed in raising a few bushels
more grain than he needed Tor his
own use, he must make the Journey
to the distant market, often requiring
. week or more. Notwithstanding
all this, the faith Of our stout hearted
pioneer was not weakened, but at last
found the reward that awaited his
industry and perseverance. Let the
homesteader Of Nebraska at the pres
ent day compare his experience with
the above, and he will conclude that
our lot has been cast in pleasant
places.


When hear man talking, as
sometimes do, about the hard lot of
homesteader and the hardships Of his
life, l think his amount Of 'ssand" is
about run out, and that he should
Immediately return to the east and
end his days on land rented from his
neighbor. There is no country on
Gods green earth that the land will
SO soon repay man for his labor as
here in Nebraska. 1t will, not far in
the future, rank among the first grain
producing States in the Union, and
the poorest homesteader that has any
ambition be far removed from power
ty, and well-to- do farmer.


N, G. FoY.


osceols, Polk Co. Nsbra ska. Ocs. q. 1873.
Year: 1873

A very touching case of mental al
ienation in charming young lady is
described by careful observer. Not
long ago her mother found her in her
room energetically darning stockings,
and soon after she appeared in the
kitchen and assisted that wondering
dame in making and baking bread and
pastry. Alarmed by these fearful
signs of intellectual disorder, her fond
parents Immediately sent for a skill
full physician, who watched her
through a keyhole while she sewed
buttons on her fathers garments and
mended those of her little brother
Much affected, the venerable man re-
marked that never during medical
practice of twenty-five years had he
known any young man remarked that
person to manifest such symptoms as
these. The most heart-rending phase
of all, however, was shown the other
day, when her kind father, with
faint hope of rousing her from her sad
state, gave her two hundred dollars
and told her to buy a new dress. Alas
twas useless. She instantly observed
that she didn't need new dress, and
if he would let her keep twenty-five
dollars to pay poor widows rent,
she'd much rather he would take the
rest OF the money for himself. For
moment that grief stricken old gen.
tleman gazed upon his hapless child,
then hiding his face muttered between
his sobs, "Her mind is gone! Her
mind is gone! ra.
Year: 1873

No More Pens and PenciIs-SixtY Words in


a Minute.


[From tie Baltimore Gazstte, July 2d. / -


Mr.. Emmett Dewsmore has ex-
pended much inguity in inventing a
writing machine. No more bad pen
manship, no more need to adopt rules.
Mr.. Dewsmore's machine correets all
this, and with its aid one man in the
matter of handwriting, is as good as
another. The contrivance is about
the size of small sewing machine,
and consists of keyboard with
three rows of keys, each of which is
marked with letter or number and
connected with long wire hammer,
similar in action to those of piano
forte. but bearing at the striking end,
instead of the usual hard covered
hammer, the metal die bearing the
same letter or figure as that on the
key. These hammers are ranged in a
circle, so disposed that each hammer
when thrown up by the action of its
key strikes upon the same spot on
wooden cylinder, round which is roll
ed the paper to be written upon. Mr..
Dewsmore claims that his invention
can write from fifty to sixty words
minute with more ease and rapidity
than half that number can be placed
on paper by the most rapid pencil
Various little notifications overcome
minor difficulties, and whatever may
be the practical value of the new writ
ing machine, it is clearly very inge-
nious. Obviously, having gotten so
far, some Yankee or other will not
rest until he has invented a writer
and speller combined, and thus made
the thing perfect.
Year: 1873

my tact forinvention usually SO ready to
come to my aid deserted me upon this
occasion. The very idea of my going
down street with that country pumpkin
People would think he was dressed to go
on the stage rs one of the principal char
acters in farce. Why. his boots are
enough to excite the ridicule of any sane
person" and Conway glanced down COM
placently at his own well-formed feet,
neatly encased in patent-leather boots.


II wish that my wife's relatives were
at this moment in the unexplored re-
giOns of Africa. l certainly never bar
gained for this. Had / thought of it, l
should have taken more time for rehec-
ton before proposing to Kate. She
poor little fool-would not be ashamed
to introduce them to-Lord Chesterfield
himself were he alive. l shall take care
however. that very few of my friends see
them. If that old fellow stays any length
of time, must buy him another suit of
clothes, and make him discard the ante
diluVian ones he wears at present.


(Io be Continued
Year: 1873

If a boy is constantly whiting sticks,


fond parents say that he has marked


constructive ability" or if he can whistle


one or two notes of an air correctly, "he


will be great musician" or if he can


draw with. reasonable accuracy, that


child is born artist" If these presumed


or assumed evidences of genius are acted


upon, and those in authority seize arbi-


trarily upon the young man and force


him into trade or art, on the ground of


their being better able to judge than he


is for himself, the possibility, nay, the


probability is that he will turn out q


Harold Skimpole of whose class the


world has far too many already. He


sketches q little; .tinkers o little with


tools; drums q little on a piano; aud in


time falls into line with the rank and


file of the noble army of incompetents


and revilers of fate. lie may protest with


all his strength in his earlier years that


he is not fitted for the occupation chosen
for him; he may demand to be transfer
red into some other calling that his soul
hungers after; it is all in vain if some


one in authority, be the same parent or
guardian, says: your profession has
been chosen for you and you must follow
it; your elders have had more experience
than you and can tell better, by reason of
it, what you need" and so the young
man is condemned for life. He goes
moping all his days and refuses to be
comforted, simply because his heart is
not in what he is doing, He is out of
his element; he disturbs the machinery
of the world; he is as bad as n broken
wheel on train; everything with which
he is connected goes halting and bump
ing and jumping because of him. If he
does not reach the highest place in his
profession, his elders, with astonishing
inconsistency. upbraid him and say that
he has no ambition, no energy, no desire
to succeed; when the simple fact is that
he has no qualification to command suc-
cess


How can I know about thing dunno
nothing aboutT' exclaimed an cxasper-
ated and badgered witness in the box
How can have inspiration to preach
when ! am always thinking about ma
chinery; or paint, when ! am always
wishing to preach, when divine truths
t1re my heart to go forth and turn men
from the error of their waysG q man out
of his place says these things at heart if
not in actual words, and his whole life is
by tho blindness of his elders
who would not see, but claimed the right,
because they had the power to;squeexe q
human heart into the corner they thought
1t should I'LL. For it is crushing the heart
oUt of the man to make the boy travel Ia
= circuit he is untitled for All his en-
ergies and ambition reach forward to one
goal; all his nature is bent upon that one
thing, and because you cannot SEQ as he
sees, oh parent or guardian I because you
are not him and do not lore ii rs he |
loves it, you destroy his future power. 1t |
ls serious responsibility to assume; to |
direct the calling in life q young man |
shall follow, an action 20 be- taken only |
upon great deliheration. Whatever he |
undertakes be mus stick, to In the |
early days OF hls life, When the world |
Year: 1873

expects but little of him. he must study
or work hard to be qualified for the latter
ones, when it exacts a great deal He
cannot be always young; he cannot have
two youths; he must give his young life.
his bright hopes, his aspirations to the
work in hand. What if his heart is far
from it and he is longing with all his
strength for that other calling which you
have put out of his reach7 You might
as well 90 out into the world when he is
of age, as some foreign parents do, and
select wife for him. With equal con-
sistency you might say: Il have had
more experience in the world than youf
you can live happier with this woman
than one of your own choosing" yet this
is an action you would shrink from COM
mitting. Is ,not,a man's-pFofession the
same in degree as his wife2 Are not all
his hopes conferred upon it, his happiness
bound up in it2 Is not the contentment
which springs from a congenial occupR(
ton in some respect the same as con-
nubial affection2 1t certainly is; for
unless man love the work to which he
applies himself his labor Is of no force, of
little worth. He is half hearted, simply
because he lacks the inspiration which
enthusiasm lends to every occupation.
even the humblest The shoemaker who
likes to make shoes makes better ones
than the convict enforced to do so, and
the same is true of every work under the
sun.


Let every young man choose his own
occupation in life. In any event. let him
choose il. If he has no particular bias
or bent, let him And something to do, all
the sarno. A parent or guardian may
say my son. It appears to me your walk
in life lies this way" and point out the
advantages likely to accrue or that can
be absolutely given him if he adopts the
suggestion, but this is all that should be
done. If he revolts or objects and says
Il cannot" do not retort with "yoG
shall, or you are no son of mine" You
will live to repent it. You will wear
sackcloth and ashes for it. Humble your
self little before you overthrow him.
A boy has right to his choice. He has
an inalienable natural right-yea, con-
stitutional one-to .'life. liberty, and the
pursuit of happiness" Words mean
something, and the choice of an occupa-
ton embraces all of these. How can you
force boy into a workshop to learn a
trade when he has. no aptness whatever
for it, except that he has been seen to-
make boats, or kites. things that child
naturally anuses himself by? You can
not; you have no right. Consider the
matter somewhat. If he is q tractable.
affectionate, and docile boy, so much the
worse; you use his natural affection as d
vehicle to work your will with him, not
seeing that in after life he will become a
listless, moody. inefficient laborer in the
vineyard. because you have trained him
to stake, or spread him on q wall in
stead of allowing him to grow free and
unfettered as he should. Consider this
matter in some other light than your
own inclinations. He will doubtless live
many years after you are gore. How
shall he best perpetuate his name and
family2 By following his natural in
clinations, or by trying to force his ma
ture to run on a track too wide or: too
narrow gauge for him? Think over i'll