Year: 1870

Out in Japan they have reformer with
bowels Of the Scriptural sort-''bowels Of
compassion" stomach is turned at the
very thought of the national ripping up-the
Happy Despatch, or Hari Kari-by which the
two-sworded fellows of that country get out Of
all difficulty. The reformer. quite as despe-
rate in bis determination to do some
thing unusual as Wendell Phillips him
self might be, has proposed the aboli
tion of the great national institution Of the
Happy Despatch, or, at least, of that modiica-
ton of it called "Seppuku." 'Seppukn" is
when man does not walt for the order of
court to let himself out, but does the act rash
ly on his personal responsibility. The reformer
believes thatif the man is guilty Of any act to
justify this course he cheats justice, which Is
not patriotic; and if he is not guilty he de-
prives the State Of good and brave citizen
with sense Of shame that Is the foundation
Of all virtue, and that thus to rob the State is
as uupatriotic as to cheat justice Thus, upon
grounds of the most rational patriotism, he
calls upon the Japanese Congress to act
on the institution Of Seppuku and re-
form it altogether-by abolition. Be-
hold however, the wise old Japanese,
conservative as rusty weathercocks, will not
turn with the new wind. They stick to their
fine old institution of bowel ripping as tena-
ciously as the South did to its niggers. Did
not their fathers rip open their bowels in all
past timer and since life is still 80 full Of
troubles that puzzle the heart and brain be-
yond all possible endurance, why should they
part Of the economy. One of these fine old
types of the conservative statesman regards
this particular use Of the human bowels as one
of the s'pillars Of the constitution" What
would Andy Johnson have said to this the
constitution had still been in his keeping
Altogether we are rejoiced to see that the
Japanese are not likely to give way to the
foolish progressive spirit Of this age, or to
heed the imported philanthropy Of the Western
nations. In fact, we are not quite snre but II
would be better for US to adopt this usage
| from them rather than for them to abolish II
In Difference to our example. How splendid
would be among US the results OF
an institution that gives formal opera
ton and effect to the sense Of shame
and chagrin that comes with defeat, more or
less ridiculous, and With the conviction that
we have done wrong There would have been
no necessity for an amnesty proclamation, for
all the Confederate heroes would have
seppukued on the day Of Johnson's surrender.
What trouble this would have saved in the
South, and how 1t would have facilitated the
operations Of Ben Butler in reconstruction
The only drawback to this view is that there
would have been no Ben Butler to take advan-
tage of it, for that fine melted hero would
have done seppukn after Big Bethel or Ber'
muda Hundred, or Fort Fisher, or, at all
events, after the great impeachment 6zzle.


Greeley, also, would have gone out on the


impeachment fzzle If he had lasted till tha


date, for he might have gone on the Niagars


Peace Conference. Indeed, the only puzzle


with regard to him is as to which one Of hi


many wonderful tergiversations would have


been too much for his self-esteem but we


incline to the notion that he would have


shirked the Issue always on some mean little


self-abnegating plea Of unAtness. Altogether


we think Hari Kari would be fine institution
here, only we all feel our failures so keenl


that 1t Is difficult to say who would be left t.


take the Offices.


PRESIDENT GRANT is still at Long Branct