Year: 1876

formed, headed by his Honor, witt


the double dignity of Magistrate


and Coroner resting on him. An(


now with heightened. faces anc


throbbing hearts and trailing ban
ners and solemn strides, they moved
toward the scene ofduty.


But who can describe the scene al
the landing during the absence oI
said muliteer. My quill refuses to
give down the ink for SO sad tale;
but if my ink does not freeze, I will
try to sketch an outline. The news
spread over hill and dale like the fire
from SIMPSONS foxes, and in rushed
matrons and maidens, children
and youth, but somehow the adult
members of the sterner sex were un-
usually scarce. for Madam Rumor
never could remember the Golden
Rule, so she began to insinuate that
the dear, dead infant baby must have
had a father, and very probably it
had a mother, and that one or the
other or both, or somebody else, must
have had very strong desire that
their new darling should be an angel,
and so sent it off where angels grow;
but that this kind of cremation was
very ankind, and might require an
Investigating committee" which the
guilty cses have no taste for; hence
the stampede. But o! the floods of
sympathetic grief then and there
poured out. Who can put sighs and
tears and sach things on paper? /
can't; so | proceed to incidents.
One incredulous matron who had
seen naked babies before, on exam
lining the exposed article, ventured
to ask: "Do you really think that is
baby?" so! yes," was the reply.
"We can feel its hands and feet"
That settled the matter, and brought
forth another set of sobs, and another
flood of glass beads. 1t was sad, in
deed, to see those sympathlzing
fair ones turn away wringing
the SHRINE of sorrow" from the
corners of their aprons. Here comes
the official delegation, and "business
before pleasure" is the word now. So
as soon as the solemn preliminaries
were over the foreman of the jury
proceeded to remove the mysterious
bag to an impromptu table, and a
chosen one with knife, scissors, &c,
proceeded with solemn awe, to expose
the lifeless corpse of that dead baby.
After saving and ripping awhile
hairy something appeared with II pos
terror appendage that no baby has
any use for even In fytime, and on
the whole the thing did not look like
a baby, and the operator stopped and
stood aghast, but the foreman ordered
him to proceed, saying, "that is moth
ing, l have seen babies look that way
before" So, he of the knife and
scissors, with 4 hand that detied fear,
determined to do his duty, be it Saint
or Satan, to be brought forth, and
forthwith the hempen envelope was
removed, when was exposed to full
view of that melancholy crowd the
glaring eyes and grinning teeth and
claws and elevated tail of a
huge old Thomas cat. (The hair
had slipped from the exposed part.


The solemnity of that occasion
seemed to rapidly diminish.
Some present were accused of not
being well versed in funeral eti-
quette.


The obsequies were short but to
the point. The closing remarks from
the Squire-Coroner, l mean, were
not few nor far between, were loud
but not deep. Since then the Squire
seems more inclined to talk on poll
tics than on the duties of pro tenn
Coroners. l suppose that when the
fees are collected somebody will have
money to lend.


MORTEM.