Year: 1873

was only a clown, a painted,
grinning clown, attached, on small
salary. to a theatre in the capital of
one of the little duchies into which
Germany was divided before the
genus and ambition of Bismarck had
effected its consolidation into the
empire. My role was popular be-
cause everybody likes to laugh. and
likes one who puts them in a laugh
ing mood. My makeup was con-
sidered a marvel of perfection. My
songs always took, and my gestures
and grimaces never failed to elicit
the most rapturous applause. 1t
used to be said that my face must be
made of India-rubber, it could be
twisted and distorted into such
strange expressions. But | hated
the life, and my success made it
more and more distastefuI.


One night went home completely
worn out in body and mind. My
little sister Ada. fifteen years old,
and light and graceful as sylph.
who was engaged as a danseuse at
the same theatre, also seemed dis
pirited and worn. The play had
been running forty nights, and the
whole company was heartily sick of
it. But it was not this alone which
exerted depressing influence on my
spirits that evening. For many
weeks 1 had been losing my heart to
Fraulein Dora, the principal dan
sense of the theatre, who was no less
lovely in mind and heart than in her
person. She was the most beautiful
woman l had ever seen; tall, we'll
formed, graceful; with step like a
fairy queen; large, thoughtful eyes !;
and sweet, winning smile. What
first drew me to her was her kind
ness to my sister, whom she took
every opportunity to befriend and
assist in her profession. This was
the more surprising, because Ada
promised to become a dangerous
rival; and, in the theatrical profess
sion, jealousy is the rule, and gener-
osity the exception. So l learned
to like Dora, and then to love her.
But so did everybody else. All the
gentry of the place fell in love with
her, and raved about her beauty and
her dancing, i'll a way that nearly
drove me wild with jealously.
was in love in the old-fashioned way
we read of in novels-I am not
ashamed to confess it-eager to kiss
the ground on which she trod. and
would not believe that any one else
could love and worship her with the
same devotion. / must not omit to
say that Dora in the midst of all this
adulation, displayed the most dis
Greet and modest behavior. She
was always attended, to and from
the theatre. by her mother; and
always returned the rich presents
which were showered upon her.


Among all who paid court to Dora,
feared only one, the young, rich,
handsome, and accomplished Count
Ernest Won Walters, who pressed his
suit with unremitting ardor. What
chance had the poor clown against
this man? Yet | fancied if he were
only out of the way I need not des-
pair of winning her. Did she not
love my sister and had she not often
spoken kindly to me. and praised
my acting and singing? But this
day / had learned the worst-that
her kindness to me sprang only from
gentle and friendly feeling for the
brother of the girl she had learned
to love like a sister, and that she
had promised to become the wife of
Court von Walters. What wonder
that ! went to my lodgings with de-
spair in my heart


My little sister exerted herself to
make thing cheerful in our quiet
sitting-room. She suspected moth
ing of the real cause Of my down