smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1872

A few days since Bill winkley, or


Clutch Bill" as he is familiarly called


took it into his head that he would tan


barrel of lager. Preparing himself
with spigot, he commenced opera.


tions. After starting in the cork.


instead of striking it final blow and


sending the spigot in fast and secure.


he kept tapping it until suddenly the
cork went in and the lager spirited out,


drenching the ceiling over head and
nearly drowning Bill with the frothiny.
seething mass that covered him from
head TO foot. The shock was so great
that the spigot flew out of hand beyond
his reach. "Hand me dot scbpigot,.
sputtered Bill, as he frantically clawed
one finger into the hole in a vain at
tempt 10 stop the flow OF the seething
beverage. "Got in himmel, poys,
hahd me dot schpigot, 20 blugs oop
dis hole" he cried in smothered tone
"Ain't you all fools shust now?" he
continued, to the yelling crowd, who
were nearly dying with laughter, "You
let man drown with his finger in de
hole, nice fun for you, cont it--let me
get dot schpigot in dis hole yot runs
away NIT de peer, and you will shust
go light away out mid dis blase." Find.
ing no one would help him, be wheeled
around, and sitting down on the hole,
exclaimed as he wiped the lager from
his face; "Vsll dis beats evenings vot
never have seen Gust then one of the
ooys handed him the spigot.) lie got
dc beer schtopped now, but how can l
get dot schpigot in dis hole" How
the query was answered we know not,
but the tailor had an order for a new
pair of pautaloons for the wildDutch.
man.
Year: 1872

Much interest now attaches to the
system of teaching the two sexes to-
gether. An attempt has been made
to Introduce this into the St. LOWS
schools, and with much success. It is
well known that this has been the rule
rather than the exceptions in schools
and academies in the rural districts of
this country, and it seems to be very
received opinion that much
more good than harm accrues from this
system; the principal educators of the
country agreeing in the opinion that
no better way can be found to bring
the two sexes together without that
false glamor which obscurcs their
knowledge of each other, than to put
them side by side in the daily drill Of
a good literary institution.
Year: 1872

AN ELDERS MIsTAKE.-A united


brethren presiding elder, out in Min
nesota, preached to strange corgre-
CATION, and was much annoyed by
some of the young folks talking and


laughing during the service. He
paused, looked at the disturbers, and
said; Il am always afraid to reprove


those who misbehave. in church. In
the early part Of my ministry made
a great mistake. As i WAS preaching,
young man, who sat just before me
was constantly laughing. talking and
making uncouth grimaces. l paused
and administered a severe rebuke.
After the close of the service one of
the official members came and said to
me. "BrOther--you made q great
That young man whom you
rebuked is an IDIOT" Since then I b
have always been afraid to reproye
those who misbehave in church lest I
should repeat that mistake, and re-
prove another IDIOT" During the rest
Of that service, at least, there was good
order. B
Year: 1872

Gus fact that in one stage of paralysis
a delusion always exists in the mind
of the sufferer that what he steals is
his own property, or has been stolen
from him, and that he merely reclaims
his own. Sometimes he imagipes that
God orders him to steal. Paralysis is
sure to cause stealing in some shape or
other, and stealing, indeed, may be
sometimes regared as symtom of the
disease. This is an important subject,
and one of unusual interest, worthy of
the careful investigation of the medical
scientist, -
Year: 1872

imminet danger of breaking his neck, was
licked by one of the other boys whose breath
he materially lessened by stumbling against
his stomach, ran silver into his knee and
was bitten violently on the neck by new
kind OF bug. When he got home his father
annolnted him with the boss end of billiard
cue, and the next day at school the teacher
escorted him twice round the room by his
poorest ear. He says that chestnuts are so


,wy Mwormy this year that it don't pay to go after
Year: 1872

A candy-making party last night set pan
of hot molasses into the yard to cool, and ON
going for it several hours later were aston
ished to observe an upright cat in the middle
of it. The question is not SO much now the
cat GOT there, but how it is to be got from
there. If any of our readers can suggest a
plan we hope they will do so, as the owner
of the cat is in hurry.
Year: 1872

Looking over numerous Exchanges" it is
noticeable that all of them are not always,
week in and week out, equally well printed,
but occasionally suffer little in their work.
From some complaints we have been led to
suppose that this remarkable phenomenon oc
Cured only to one paper in the country
Boston Transcript
Year: 1872

Knoxville, KY, has several polite highway
sengers money or brains," and some peo
pie are foolish enough to give them the more
necessary article of the two, quite forgetting
how many people go through the world with
out brains.
Year: 1872

A Bethel man discovered that a stranger he
rescued from a watery grave was not a long
lost brother, but party he owed three dol
lars and half for turnips. The Bethel man
retired in disgust.
Year: 1872

An Indianapolis man undressed and went
to sleep in the garden the other night, and
somebody stole his clothes. The local papers
say that he was Every much enthused,"
which seems sufficient excuse tor anything.
Year: 1872

"How 1 wish could take a leaf out of your
bookp' said scapegrace one day to his pious
friend. Subsequent events proved that it was
his friends check book on which the young
scamp had fixed his mental eye.
Year: 1872

A Mill Plain man came into Danbury this
morning with load of potatoes, for which he
desired to obtain 80 cents bushel, but was
not able to get 35 cents. There was not dry
eve in the load.
Year: 1872

A North Main street man who has beau
tiful daughter with an obnoxious suitor, got
up in the night recently and kicked HIM OUT
of doors. When his anger lulled he permit
ted his daughter to explain that he haa io9t-
ed the wrong man. He says now tha' he
was walking in his sleep.
Year: 1872

A writer in the English Mechanic gives
what he considers to be an invaluable
rule for distinguishing the true mush-
room from the poisonous species. He
remarks, in the first place, that the true
mushroom is invariably found in rich,
open pastures, and never on or about
stumps or in the woods and, although
wholesome species sometimes occurs in
the latter localities, the writer considers
1t better to avoid their products. A
very good point, in the second place, is
the peculiar intense purple brown color
Of the spore-dust, from which the ripe
mushroom derives the same color (al-
most black in the gills. To see these
spores, it is only necessary to remove
the stem from the mushroom, and lay
the upper portion, with the gills down
ward, on sheet of writing paper, when
the spores will be deposited, in dark,
impalpable powder, in short time.
Several dangerous species, sometimes
mistaken for the true, have the spore
umber-brown, or pale umber- brown.


In the true mushroom, again, there
is distinct and perfect collar, quite en-
circling the stem, little above the
middle, and he edge of the cap over
laps the gills. In some poisonous spe-
cies this collar is reduced to a mere
fringe, and the overlapping margin is
absent or reduced to few white scales.
Lastly, the gills never reach to nor
touch the stem, there being space all
around the top of the stem, where the
gills are free from the stalk.


There are numerous varieties of true
mushrooms, all of them equally good
for the table. Sometimes the top is
white and soft like kid leather; at other
times it is dark brown and scaly. Some
times, on being cut or broken, the
mushroom changes color to yellow, or
even blood-red; at other times, no
change whatever takes place. To sum
up, it is to be observed that the mush-
room always grows in pastures always
has dark, purple-brown spores always
has Il perfect encircling collar; and al
ways has gills which do not touch the
stem, and has top with an overlapping
edge.


In addition to the method just indi-
Gated for testing the genuineness of
mushrooms, we are informed that, how
ever much any particular fungus may
resemble the eatable mushroom, none
are genuine or safe the skin of which
cannot be easily removed. When taken
by the thumb and finger at the over
tapping edge, this skin will peel upward
to the center, all around, leaving only
small portion of the center of the crown
to be pared off by the knife.
Year: 1872

Willie, why were you gone so long
for water ?" asked the teacher of little
boy.


We spilled it, and had to go back
and fill the bucket again" was the
prompt reply; but the bright, noble
face was a shade less bright, less noble
than usual, and the eyes dropped be-
meath the teachers gaze.


The teacher crossed the room and
stood by another, who had been Willie's
companion.


g Freddy, were you not gone for
the water longer than was necessary ?"


For an instant Freddys eyes were
fixed on the floor, and his face wore a
troubled look. But it was only for an
instant-he looked frankly up to his
teachers face.


Yes, ma'am," he bravely answered :
"we met little Harry Braden and
stopped to play with him, and then
we spilled the water and had to go
back


Little friends, what was the difference
in the answers Of the two boys? Neither
OF them told anything that was not
strictly true. Which one of them do
you think the teacher trusted more
fully after that? And which was the
happier of the two?
Year: 1872

the afternoon. In the face of all this,
h0W, ! ask, is she to refresh her mind
with literature, or go capcring about in
the open air for recreation?n The
hours are few when the farmers wife
of the class under consideration -
has nothing to do;" and then the
physical woman is too utterly weary for
any mental gymnastics or outdoor me-
anderings. Smother beneath this
slaves life any vigorous, finely strung
intellect, and if in ten years she is
taken to lunatic asylum. let nobody
wonder-unless he wonders that she
escaped going mad five years before !
Talk of the "pressure on our public
men! | had rather be President over
thirty-seven United States, each bent
on seeding after its own in dividual
fashion, than live the life of this farm.
ers' wife.


Another thing-perhaps the only
thing-for the greater includes the
lcss-the farmers wife is not loved.
Farmers become as stoical and satur-
nine and undemonstrative as their own
oxen. One may live among them six
years-which is long enough to form a
pretty fair estimate-and never see in
the husband any act of endearment,
selfsacrifice or decent politeness toward
the faded, drudging woman, who not
many years before stepped beaming
and hopeful into his fe-path and wove
her youth and loveliness into crown
for him. The gentleman that by birth
right lives Ike a rare germ in the soul
of "the male of the human species,"
gets crowded out of these men by the
parsleyweed of coarse, unthinking
selfishness. 1t is a shame, which he is
quite incapable of blushing for, that he
exhibits more care for his horses than
for his toiling mate indoors; that he
has for them sometimes kindly pat,
or a CHEEKY word of encouragement;
but never kiss, caress, tender
smile or helpful deed for the heart that
silently starves for want of them.


My light-hearted and lighter headed
poet, who singest of weet-breathed
cows" and all the mythical Joys of a
simple life" in the country, do not be
a farmer! l beseech you to change
your mind! Your fate-so far as you
are concerned-does not trouble me so
very much, but am thinking of your
wife. Let her beware of such farmer,
for his steps take hold on - Bed
lam,
Year: 1872

Who would be prince in Afrca-at
least prince of the Wahuma tribe, of
which Captain Speke tells us? 1t may
be very fine thing to be the king, but
to be one of the young princes must be
anything but charming.


You know these savave chiefs usually
have several wives and a good many
children, and it is often matter of
much discussion, and even cause of
bloodshed, to determine which son shall
inherit the power on the death of his
father; but after this point is once set
tied, the one who succeeds to the throne
is generally willing to leave his brothers
to live in peace. In this Wahuma tribe,
however, the heir is chosen by the
wakungu, or council. If he is already
of age, all his brothers, save two, who
are reserved in case of accident to the
reigning prince, are Immediately killed.


This fate, dreadful as it is, does not
seem so terrible to us, however, as the
state of suspense in which the poor
things have to exist when the chosen
heir is under age. In that case the
Year: 1872

of Kenton, Boone, Grant and Pendle
ton. will be much larger than that of
any former year.


10 Prevent GowS Pulling C6y7-Take,
to each peck of corn wet with warm
water, one tablespoonful of gas tar stir
until it is well blackened; then roll in
plaster to dry. have tried it for years,
and never knew it to be disturbed by
anything. 1t is also a good way to pre-
pare corn to sow near barn where
fowls are apt to scratch it out. They
will not eat more than one kernel
W A D
Year: 1872

The English are less tolerant of dan
gerous quackery than we are, and in
this, as in many other things, their
courts of law prove themselves to be
places where, as Mr.. Joshua Fullalove
says, "you can get justice, dear but
prime" An English court has just sem
fenced man named Andrews to a
severe punishment for setting up as a
physician on the strength of bogus di-
ploma obtained from that University"
IN Philadelphia which deals so largely
IN those wares; 1t does not appear that
the man did any particularly bad
things in his practice, except to pass off
his ignorant quackery on an unsuspect.
ing people as medical skill, and vet there
was no difficulty before an English court
in securing his conviction and awarding
him well-merited punishment, while
we on this side of the water think we
have accomplished wonders in sending
Rosenzweig to prison for a very brief
term, under all the pressure of the pop
ular excitement incident to the expo-
sure of his murdered victim to the
public eye for many days. Truly. we
need to learn a lesson or two from those
English courts where o crime is ALWAYS
a crime, and where popular clamor is
not necessary to the proper punishment
of criminal.
Year: 1872

young princes are allowed to live, but
are aware all the time that rs soon as
their brother comes of age they must
all be beheaded. And yet-astonishing =
as 1t may seem-the princely rank
seems to be as greatly envied as if it
were not certain that only three of, per
haps, fifty brothers born to the position,
could hope to live past their youth.
Truly pride is a wizard th,t blinds and
misleads the savage African as com
pletely as the most civilized one of US.
Year: 1872

We are not worst at once.
The course of evil begins so slowly.
And from such slight source an infants hand
Could stem its course with clay:
But let the stream grow deeper.
And philosophy. ny, and religion. too.
May strive in vain to stem the headlong torrent
Year: 1872

ORIGIN OF THE MosoUrro.-Thism marshy
country is the paradise of mosquitoes, which
revel here in greater SIZE, numbers and pene-
trativeness than even upon the salt marshes
OF the Hackensack in New Jersey; and yet
why should they not, since this is their native
land? Perhaps you are ignorant as to this
part of natural history-I mean the origin of
these annoying though musical insects. l
win enlighten you by the Yeritable tradition
of the Indians, derived from an Onondaga,
who most reigiously believed the legend and
communicated it to me only as great mys-
cry.


There were, in times of old, many hundred
moons ago, two huge feathered monsters per-
mitted by the Manitou to descend from the
sky and light upon the banks of the Seneca
river, at Montezuma. Their form was exactly
that of mosquito, and they were so LARGE
that they darkNed the sun like a clond
Standing upon either bank of the river thew
guarded the river, and stretching their long
necks into the canoes of the Indians as they
attempted to paddle along the stream, COB
bled them up as the stork-king in the fable
did the frogs. The destruction of life was
great, for the embargo was so strictly en-
forced that not an Indian could pass without
being devoured in the attempt. 1t was long
before the monsters could be extermlnated,
and then only by the combined eforts OF all
the warriors of the Cayuga and Onondaga
nations of Indians. The battle was terrible
Year: 1872

ADVERTISERS naturally seek the means
reaching the largest number of readers, and
those of the best quality. The Daily Press
fills the bill in both particulars better than any
other daily journal in Maina
Year: 1872

DURING THE FEVER epidemic of last month.
the stock of Ayers Ague Cure in the old North
StateJ became exhausted, and before a supply
could be received from Lowell, the suffering
from chills and fever became fearful A few
parties were so fortunate as to have it on hand
: and in Iredell County, the druggists eked out
their slender stocks by selling doses-a spoon


full each-for dollar Many paid ten dollars
for bottle, when the regular price is but one,
and thought themselves favored at that, SO
valuable are the curative properties of this
preparation, which not only expels the poison
from the system, but leaves the patient with
unimpaired health and vigor.-Raleigh IN. C.)
Standard. dec1O-1w
Year: 1872

Rochefort has made several appeals to the
clared in his latest entreaty that if sent to
New Caledonia he would be assassinated by
the communists as soon as he should land
Difficult position. Theirs will probably send
him now.
Year: 1872

A Wisconsin genius created the most
fun at the State Fair, if he did not &C.
cure the first premium. by bedstead,
with partition extending from the head
board about half way down the bed -
The inventor said that the object was to
prevent bedfellows from inhaling each
others breath.
Year: 1872

There is perpendicular ledge ono
hundred and fifty feet high on the shore
Of pond in Darlington, from the brink
of which it is dlsficult to throw stones in.
to the pond on account Of Of q powerful
attraction drawing the stones to The base
of the ledge. So says q correspondent
of the WoIfeborough Ners.
Year: 1872

Palmyra, Missouri. is troubled with
burglars In one desperate case, recent
ly, they stole all the cake prepared for a
wedding One night last week s47O was
stolen out # bureau drawer Of widow
lady named Mrs. Taylor. She had pu.
the money by to pay for house the
next day, and when she went for il it
was gone
Year: 1872

The latest thing in the explosion line
is suit of clothes, which went off on a
man in Portland the other day. We
mean no joke about these clothes travel
ing off on the man, but they actually ex-
ploded as he stood near q stove. The
man. however. worked in . powder mill,
and got his garments filled with the viii
lainous saltpetre' and stuff.
Year: 1872


Are There Few That be SsvedT


LUKE XIII: 23
So questioned one Of old, - We
DO often anxious ask;
And from our work We look around,
Forgetting our own task.
We see the busy multitudes,
That throng the worlds highway;
We see the multitudes that meet
To worship and to pray.
Shall few, or shall all men be saved!
We question, too, the Lord
But the same answer We receive,
As he who heard his word.
Strive earnestly to enter in
Gods kingdom, given to all;
Aud while thou hearst the Gospel preach ed
Obey its gracious call.
Look not sround, nor curious be
To learn another's fate;
But rather strive thyself to gain
An entrance, ere too late.
When once the Master Of the House
Has risen and shut the door,
In vain they seek to enter in
Who welcomed were before.
For many then shall stand without,
And wait and knock in vain;
Who, if they s,rove to enter now,
Might easy entrance gain.
Year: 1872

company listened to the very best music
procurable at the time, or joined in q
conversation which for two thousand
years has been proverbial for its wit
grace, and brilliancy.


Between each course, or at least be.
tween what was called the gNstus and
the first course Of the eglid, and again
at its termination, fragrant waters were
handed round, the attendants being boys
or women chosen for the beauty Of their
appearance and manners, and robed al.
most as superbly as the guests. If the
dinner lasted into the evening, for il
was long ceremony, though its com
mencement was usually so early, the
magnificent saloon was lit by thousand
lamps that glittered from amongst a
wealth of blossoms, upon the golden
statues and amber vessels, whilst the
whole coup dgH was united and com
bined, as an artist would express it, by a
canopy of purple or scarlet that over
hung the group. Sometimes harp was
carried around, and those of the guests
who had turn for music or poetry,
played or recited songs to the rest. Al
other times they laughed at the feats OF
agile acrobats who danced on ropes al
most over their very heads, or tossed up
eggs, as in Alma Tadema's matchless
picture of Pompeiian life.


There does not appear to have been
any formal arrangement in the seating
of the guests as in our day. Sometimes
the host assigned the places, but gen.
orally the guests were left to choose
their own. The "place of homo" was
the first seat on the medius lectus (mid-
die couch) where the cushion was sup
ported by little railing. The host s
usual seat was adjoining it, the first seat
of the Imulectus, the least honorable of
the three benches.
Year: 1872

Fruits and berries at this season Of
the year are not only precious luxuries,
but great promoters of health. They act
upon the liver, promoting that secretion
naturally which many are in the habit
of obtaining only by the means of artif-
cial medicines They thus avert many
disease resulting from torpid condi-
ton of the liver Another way in which
they act benefcially is in the mechanical
effect their little seeds produce in pass.
ing through the bowels, very much the
same as the watering of an irritated eye
ball when any hard substance touches
that delicate organ, and this water, by
dissolving the hardened contents of con-
stipated bowels, keeps them in health
ier state than any pill or purgative in
vented by the apothecary. There can
be no doubt that in the summer and fall
seasons people who live mainly on fruits
and berries and coarse bread can almost
ensure exemption from sickness, while
those who eat heartily of solid meats
and vegetables two or three times day
are liable to all the diseases that flesh is
heir to.
Year: 1872

From Gov. Palmer's Great Speech.l


Who of us is prepared to stop to dis
cuss the question as TO whether this is a
controversy between the boys in blue
and the boys in gray? Suppose / were
to tell you seriously, not as men talk
from the stump, and you concede to
that q certain degree Of license, but sup
pose l we're TO meet any gentleman
here, aud look him in the face, and say
this is fght between the boys in blue
and the boys in gray" he would ask
me, Where are the boys in blue, and
where are the boys in gray7" You will
find them engaged in all the vocations
Of life, divided and separated, thinking
earnestly and inquiring what they shall
do for the country, not having forgotten,
but having ceased to be soldiers and be
ing to-day citizens earnest in the dis
Year: 1872

Rs- There il only one Grant man in
Flushing, l. ! and the people there are
anxious to know what to do with him
Why let him stay in the post Office until
Greeley nominates his successor,
Year: 1872

CoNFERENcF.-We give full reports of the
proceedings of the Conference, concise and
comprehensive in form. Though occupying
considerable space, the proceedings of so large
body of ministers is read with interest by all
class, and the space is therefore well taken up
We compiled the reports mainly faom the
Commercial though we are also indebted to
the daily edition of the Reninsular Ne,cS and
Adrerttser, which gave the most thorough re-
port that was made.