smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1871

Don Piatt as a Drummer.


Don Piatt 10 his last Washington letter
says: l went out the other day to pur.
chase some furniture for an office, aud
having selected my articles, I turned to
the mah and said !:


"You advertise in our paper do you
not ?"


mo sir, we never advertise"


I then quietly informed him that ]
never bought furniture, and moved on to
another establishment. You will think
am romancing, but precisely the same
conversation occurred at the sec md store
1 tried third, quite large establishment
standing on corner, kept by Chris
tian (and I proposed to advertise HIM Of
the Mosaic name of Moses-Moses & Sons,
at that. They have quite an assortment
in tie upholstery line, and l suggested
advertising to the senior and received in
answer that he occupied corner, a very
conspicuous corner, and had large sign
on it that everybody could read from the
street, and with that it was quite unneces.
sary to 90 to further expense in the way
of advertising. Then l said unto Moses


"Do you know my Christian friend,
that when man possessed of any amount
of money wishes to furnish house in
Washington he goes to Baltimore, Phla.
delphia, New York and even unto Bos-
ton"


eyes" he responded, 81 know that"


WELL" said l, "do you know tie rea-
son for it ?"


"Why, of course l do," he replied,
with some asperity. These people come
here from Boston and other places and are
interested in the manufactures at home,
and of course won't purchase in Washing
ton"


"My Christian friend" continued.
"you labor under a INDUSTRIOUS delusion.
These men do not own any manufactures
of furniture at home, and if they did they
would not purchase where they would
have to pay heavily for transportation if
they knew they could escape such taxes
by getting their furniture of you. But
they don't know that you exist.


They read the papers and they see no
mention made of Moses, unless it be in a
Sunday paper, and then the Moses spoken
of is a man dead long years ago; yet,
however. no deader than you are, come to
think of it. A man who does not adver.
tisc is as dead as Moses. You say you
have a sign out here. This is not the
sign asked for. Few people zee it, and
those who do can't read it. For one man
walking idly down the street who reads,
there are hundreds who hurry by with no
time to read signs; for one man who does
notice your abortion in black and white
out there. newspaper would take your
business to thousands.


Why. my Christian friend, immense
fortunes have been made by advertising.
Did you ever hear of the Ledger?' He
had heard of the Ledger.


"Did you ever hear of Helmhold's
Buchu ?" He never had heard of Helm.
bold's Buchu. He had seen a gentleman
by the name of Hclmbold driving down
the avenue during the Carnival, with a
great quantity of horses, and thought he
was part of the Administration, I gave
him up in despair, and yet this is speci-
men Of the business man at the magnifi.
cent national capital Of our great country.
Year: 1871

4 PARIS letter to the New York
Times says: Gen. Ducrot's book is still
the topic of conversation in club and
army circles, and there is no little
curiosity to See what Gen. de Wimpfen
is going to do about it, That doughty
warrior has been completely demolish-
ed. He has not an inch of defense, and,
10 make matters worse, he had been
brought out in absolute islsehoods in
trying to throw the blame upon other
shoulders which should forever rest
upon bis own. At length We have
something like the truth about Sedan,
and We find that it was the vanity OF
Gen. de Wimpffen which threw the
army back into that dreadful chasm
after its movement Of retreat had really
been begun. He did not know that
Gen. Won Moltke was simply amusing
him in front while working TO surround
him, and the plan was carried out so
well that, as King William said in his
report, the French army was surround
ed in an open field The general i'm.
preston is that de Wimpfen will
challenge Ducrot."
Year: 1871

From the New fork sum-


Reporter-You went to see the Great


Wall of China. Please state whether
you were disappointed on seeing it, as
travellers are generally disappointed on
first seeing Niagara.


Mr.. Seward-I don't think that the
Almighty made any mistake in Mag
ara. If there is any mistake in that
matter it is in the creatures that be
made to study and contemplate his
works. The Chinese have been for at
least two or three thousand years a
wall-making people. 1t mould bank.
rupt New York or Paris to build the
walls OF Pekin. The Great Wall Of
China is the great wall of the world. 1t
is forty feet high. The lower thirty
feet is OF hewn limestone or granite.
Two modern carriages may pass each
other upon the summit. 1t has a par
apet throughout its whole length, with
convenient staircases, buttresses, and
garrison houses at every quarter of q
mile, and it runs, not cutting down hills
and raising valleys, but over the uneven
crests of the mountains and down
through their gorges, distance OF a
thousand miles. Admiral Rodgers and
| calculated that it would cost more
now to build the Great Wall Of China
through its extent of one thousand
miles than it has cost to build fifty-f'e
thousand miles OF railroad in the
United States. What a commentary it
is upon the ephemeral range of the hu-
man intellect TO see this great utilitarian
enterprise, so necessary and effective
two thousand years ago, now not merely
useless, but an incumbrance and an OBJ
struction.
Year: 1871

1t is said that new and wonderful
oil well has been opened at Titusvile.
A correspondent Gays that for nine
hours it flowed a stream OF beautiful
amber and rose-tinted oil of sixteen
degrees gravity. as large as stovepipe,
at the rate Of four hundred and thirty.
seven barrels per hour. The oil is go
heavy that it foamed perpendicular
column OF six inches in diameter that
would push its way several hundred
feet into the air, when, becoming
partially melted by the suns rays, and
overcome by its weight, it would break
off near the ground and fall over like
an immense tallow candle struck With
a club"


The author Of the above story would
make a capital advertiser for a circus.
Year: 1871

A SLIGHT MIsTAKE.-A Newport
correspondent of the New York
Advertiser relates the following as
one OF the mistakes incident to ho-
tel life--when parties are in q hur-
ry and the gas turned of.


heard such an excellent story,
and know it to be a fact, 1 must
relate it. A gentleman and wife,
on a travelling tour, stopped at .
hotel The gentleman was an in
valid, jauntiDg for health, and was
subject to severe attacks Ct spasms
in his chest, which nothing would
relieve but blister, or in the alb
sence of that, a good hot mustard
plaster. They reached the strange
hotel lac in the day. and in the
night Mr.. was taken very ill.
His wife was unable to find any
remedies at hand among her traps,
but remembering to have seen the
castor containing mustard on the
sideboard OF the dining hall, and
being reluctant to arouse the SER
wants. she few down with a light,
and made q plaster as quickly 40
possible. Now the room she occu.
pied Was at the head of the stairs;
on the right hand coming up. but
there was one precisely similar to
it on the left side. just as she
reached the head of the stair case
her light went out, but wishing to
bring relief to the sufferer az
quickly as possible, she went into
her room on the right, as she cup
posed. and flying up to the occu-
pant Of the bed--her husband, of
course-clapped the plaster on his
chest. just as it touched the indi.
vidual in question, what was her
horror ANA fright at being assaiied
with strong expletive, and at dis
COVERING that she had turned to
the left instead of the right, and
entered the wrong apartment The
hurry with which che entered WAS
not quite equal to that with which
she retreated, and on finding her
own man, and telling him the sto-
~, he laughed 90 outrageously 40
to get cured without any plaster at
all. So mortified Was the lady,
however, that she insisted on leav-
ing the hotel the next morning. ~
an hour sufficiently carly to avoid
meeting the victim OF her mistake.
Year: 1871

wild charges that the Republican
Administration is corrupt--that
men, high in station. are open to
bribery-that great and small mea-
sures are carried through legisla-
lures and courts by bribery-and
all that. Judging from the past,
though we're we to admit all that
Democratic jurors allege, We do
not see that We would be any bet
ter of if we should put the Gov
ernment back into Democratic
hands. The Democratic party was
condemned by many of its great
est Southern leaders 40 the most
corrupt party on the face Of the
earth. OF present examples Of
Democratic State Administration
We have not as large a stock on
hand as for merly. But that is no
virtue Of the Democracy. There
is one State where the Democracy
is ''pure and undefled ;" that State
is Kentucky. Its last legislature
was distressingly Democratic. Here
is what one of its own party or
gans says Of it We quote from
tho Woodford, Kentucky Weekly


The charge Of corruption
OF senators in the matter of
Of the Cincinnati 4 Chattanooga
railroad proposition has been bold
ly made. The charge is generally
believed to be true To relieve
themselves would it not be we'll to
appoiat whitewashing' commit
tee. with power to send for per-
sons and papers? Doubtless .
| committee Of that kind could be
selected from that body, who would
make a distinguished report and
exhonera.e every mothers son Of
them from the charge, and swear
by all the gods at once that a more
honorable set of fellows never ex-
isted in this or any other age. 1t
is too late now, we reckon, to do
this The Kentucky Legislature
will. probably. before this goes to
press, have adjourned, sine die
God grant that it will. Better, far
better, would it have been for the
reputation Of some of its members
in both branches had it adjourned
long ego, or had it never met. Far
better for the country, for the
Democratic party for the treasury,
for the tax-paying people of Ken
tucky, had many of the members
of the Senate and House of Rep
resentatives never lived. They
have been burden to the Dem
ocratic party. A few more such
legislatures will be too much, even,
for that grand old party to stand
strong as it is in principle and jus


tice May it never be inflicted
again with such an incubus as the
legislature mas been upon IL.


If that is the kind Of admins
tration the Democratic party pro-
poses to substitute, we think thu
people will say mo, we thant
you not any in ours" That il
the kind Of administration of which
the national success of the Dem
ocratic party would place over th,
country, we have no reason tt
doubt. 1t there is any wrong il
the Republican management o
public affairs, let us correct it b,
changing the present Republican
managers-or such of them q


may be at fault-for others. Blu


never desert the Republican part,


unless you want to jump out Of


very comfortable frying pan into


very onsuming Lafay EFT


Journal
Year: 1871

EDITOR PALLADIUM-Among the
comparatively few American jour
nslists who have made success,
financially, and at the same time
maintained an unsullied reputation
for the strictest honor and probity,
in his honorable calling, there is
no more notable example than the
philosopher and farmer of Chip
paqua.


Arriving in the metropolis Of
our country about forty years ago.
unaided and alone, almost penni-
less and on foot, without any Of
those adventitious surroundings
hat contribute so materially to
sudden advancement, he at once
entered upon the task before him,
and by closely outstanding his
scanty resources, by industry and
perseverance, giving ell his leisure
hours to reading and study. and
above all, by early establishing
habits Of temperance, and avoid
ing the lcontamina,ing vices Of a
large city. which have proved the
wreck Of thousands Of promising
young men, he has emphatically
won, rs he richly merited the goal
Of his worthy ambition. ,.


The only drawback, if such it
was, under which he labored, was
. want of the advantages conferred
by thorough scholastic education
and that very desirable mental
discipline, which in the present
state Of scientific and literary pro-
gress, are perhaps necessary to
harmoniouslv balancing up intel
lectual labor. and to guarding
against those pernicious and one
sideA mental srochets that not un.
frequently mar the brain symme-
try and practical usefulness Of per-
sons OF strong and pronounced
character.


In very many respects then, the
Year: 1871

B9- The deepest sea sounding
ever made was in the northern ex-
tremity 81 the Bay Of Bisoay last
year. The depth was two thou
sand four hundred and thh ty- -fv9
nearly three miles. So
practiced was the hand Of the Off
Ger who made the sounding that
the shock Of the arrest Of the
weight at the bottom was distinct
" felt by him, The sinkers On The
apparatus used weighed three hum
dred weight, and lifetime occupied
by the descent vas thirty-fve sec
onds.
Year: 1871

Special Despatch to the EOening Telegraph.


HARRISBURG, Jan. 17.-In the interview be-
tween the Catholic clergymen and the Cover
nor, the argument in support of the extensios
of time to Hanlon was that the condemned did
not conceive that he could go fully prepared
to meet his God at the time fixed in the death
warrant. The matter was fully discussed, and
the clergymen left the Governor assured by him
that he would give the application the fullest
consideration
Year: 1871

The world is full of people who are
perpetually snatching at occasions for infor-
ming the one with whom they last talk that
they. :. always thought So No Sabbath
school superintendent can become a bank
delaulter no clergyman turn out to be a
reprobate of unmentionable crimes; no
public officer proved to have accepted
bribes, without the chattering of swarm
of gossips who swear that they suspected
the thing from the first. No enormity
surprises them; for their malignant om-
nisclence protects them against surprise.
The intuitions Of the scande!-monger are a
wonderful intellectual! phenomenon. He
is sort of malignant moral surgeon, who,
Indifferent to the agony he causes probes
the wound in order to extract the bullet
NOT of truth, bat of Misrepresentation.
1t is verbally striking man when he Is
down. and helping to kick him to death with
scandc's lamest spiders.


No doubt it is rare gift to know, by
intuition. that certain man is william,
yet utter no word against him until he is
proved to be SO. The gift is so rare that
we would not like to run the risk of being
unjust to humanity by calculating the
seldoinness with which it is vouchsafed
Rouchefoucald's celebrated maxim might
with Justice be so modified as to read, ''in
the suddenly discovered crimes of men of
hitherto spotless reputation, there is some
thing which is not unpleasant to us" 1t
is actually SO. The majority of us do not
lose our appetites because Bacon accepts
bribe and Marlborough does not refuse
one. Perhaps we take secret satisfaction
in feeling that the crimes or the vices to
which we have often felt vehemently i'm
PEELED have actually been committed by a
man whom. in spite of them we cannot
help confessing in our secret hearts to be
our moral and intellectual superior. We
feel elated that our weakness should have
been not only shared, but even yielded TO-,
by character nobler than our own.
Year: 1871

For the Herald and Tribune.


If there be an individual on earth who
is lost to every human virtue. every act of
humanity and decency. most assuredly
the tattler or the slanderer is the one.
They will persue every scheme that dwells
in their foul and polluted brest, to des-
troy the reputation and character of their
fellow beings. When this has been once
injured by the malicious tongue of SANDER
it requires a considerable effort on the
part of the traduced to restore it to its
primitive purity. The man or woman
who is guilty of this, would crawl surrep-
titiously under the darkness of night, to
your. beG-chamber, and plunge the muir
dering steel to the fountain of your exis-
tence, and pour forth your life's blood. to
satisfy his or her nellish passion. How
many fond and loving hearts once tinged
; with the prismatic hues of hopes, have
been made to bleed by the rude jourings
OF IueSe uedIllSSS WiOICHOS- 'OAS ~ III
their power they would rob the eternal
God of his power and usurp His throne.
There black and nauceous pills of malici-
Gus SANDER are sugar-coated with smiles
and honeyed words of friendship


They breathe an impure spirit and
clothe vice in all the attractions magma
bic. They rob virtue of all its redeeming
traits, and shroud it in a garb of mean
ness; they would belong to the higher cir
cles of society, but generally speaking this
is not the case. nor are they always the of
spring of the highest order of genius, but
the froth and scum that floats upon the
surface of the stream, their lightness re-
fusing deeper element. They are the
food and sport of the minnow tribe, which
cluster around in frantic circles, their origin
forbiding nobler sustenance. But the
true and noble character cannot be crushed
and mingled by their forked tongue. 1t
is destined to live and flourish long after
they have passed from the memory of man.
True they cripple and stain it for while,
but. it will bud and bloom afresh.


s.Watch lest in dark temptatio Is hour


Thou too. shouldst sink beneath its power,
Pity, the frail weep DER their fall;


But speak of good, or speak not at all


TELLULI.
Year: 1871

The Supreme Court of the United States
on Monday met in council and decided by
five to four, that the legal-tender act did
apply to contracts made before the war;
as well as to those made during tie war,
and that it was constitutional, thus revers-
ing the decision of the last term of the
court that the law did not apply to con-
tracts made before its passage. justices
Miller, SwayDe, Davis. Strong and Brad
lev voted to sustain the constitutionality
of the act, and Chief Justice Chase and
Justices Nelson, Clifford and Field voted
in the negative. The full opinion of the
court will not be written out before the
October term, but the fact Of the decision
will be announced when the court reas-
sembles. 4.
Year: 1871

A well informed physician at Louisville
states that among ladies the use of NOR
phine, opium and chloroform is becoming
alarmingly frequent. The opiate may be,
in the first instance, used to alleviate pain ;
but taking it becomes habit, and is re-
storted to whenever there is mental de-
preston, as there will certainly be when
the drug is rot taken at the usual time.
This doctor states that thousands of ladies
keep one or other of these drugs constantly
on hand and use them daily. Overdoses
of morphine cause many deaths. and the
constant use of any article that deadens
nervous sensibility is certainly productive
of serious nervous derangements-
Year: 1871

There are thousands who know nothing
Of the blessed influences of comfortable
homes, merely for the wnnt of thrift, or
from dissipated habits. Youth spent in
frivolous amusements and demoralizing
associations leaving them ut middle age.
when the physical and intellectual man
should be in its greatest vigor. eneryated,
and without one laudable ambition. -
Friends long since lost, confidence gonet
and nothing to look to in old age but
mere toleration in the community where
they should be ornaments. No home to
fly to when wearied with the struggles in.
ciGent to life no wife to cheer them In
their dependency; no children to amuse
them, and no virtuous household to give
zest to the joys of life, All Is blank, and
there is no hope or succor except that
which is given out by the hands of private
or public charities. When the family Of
an industrious and sober citizen gather
around cheerful Gre of wintry day.
the homesless man is seeking shelter Ia
the cells of station house, or begging for
nights rest in the out. building of one who
has greater advantages but honesty and in-
dustry built up that home, while dissipa-
ton destroyed the other.
Year: 1871

A mothers supreme devotion to her
child was strongly illustrated recently IN
Kansas City, when a Mrs. Britt plunged
into deep cistern to rescue her little two
year-old boy who had accidentally tum-
bled in. Unable to swim herself, she yet
wildly plunged around until some men
coming to their help both were drawn out.
The little boy was unconscious, but hap
PLY was restored.
Year: 1871

aa "When men break their hearts," re-
marks cynical female writer. it is the
same as when lobster breaks one of his
claws-another sprouting out Immediately
and growing in its place"
Year: 1871

PERSONS have great difficulty, often in
getting their celery seed to come up. IL
they will adopt the following plan. they
will seldom fail III growing fine celery |;
Get box of sand and sprinkle your seed
over it, keep it very moist; in short
time the seed will come up, when largo
enough take them out and plant IN hot
bed, aud let them remain until tho timo
for transplanting.
Year: 1871

A CLEVER repartee is attributed to the
member from Mornondom to the new
Congress. A brother member asked him
how many wives he had. Enough to
keep from running after other people's.
be promptly replied.
Year: 1871

A young lady remarked coming from
church; I did not think much Of the
close of the sermon" TO which her father
replied: Probably you were thinking
more of the clothes of the congregation"
Year: 1871

profess to believe, we would be so stepped
in corruption and so weakened by dis
affection that the whole fabric of Govern
| ment would fall to pieces. m Faf
THE PRESENT ADMINISTRATION Is AN
EXAMPLE.


1t is just now fashionable to sneer at the


present Administration as corrupt and


without any head. As far as corruption


is concerned, have perhaps answered it
above, but may add that that though the
amount of patronage, and consequently


the inducements to dishonesty are yearly


increasing, there is more determined war


being waged to day against corruption,
and IN fact there is comparatively less dis
honesty in Washington to-day than for
many administrations.


AS to the charge that there is no head to
the present Administration, it may best be
answered by saying that criticism, very
often made by its friends, is that there is
too much of it. Montgomery Blair, in his
recent interview, said Grant had never
read book, had but little general infor-
nation, and knew nothing of his duties.
And yet, as fact, Gen. Grant has written
more of his own State papers, which com-
pare favorably with others, and taken less
advice as to the policy of his administra-
tion, than any President we have had for
y CdlS' vas uSoOi icu 1dCU Nv IL S0U-
teman in high position here, who has had
to remarkable extent, the confidence of
several preceding Administrations. He
told me that, but few days ago, he visited
the President in his private room and saw
his forthcoming message just being COM
pleted, every word of it written by the
President himself, "and," he added, there
was not man, then living, who knew its
contents The San Domingo message
accompanying the Commissioners report,
which was most favorably received every
where, was every line of it the Presidents
work, and without any consultation. 1t
is very customary for such State docu-
ments to be written by Cabinet officers, od
very uncommon for them to be prepared
without full consultation with the Cabinet
and other confidential advivers. 1t ought
to be SO, and, therefore, say the criticism
that the Administration had too much
" head is not uncommon. / mention
these facts to show how false is the general
charge, that the President knows nothing
about his duties, and never wrote land, as
a fact, could not write) his State papers.


A. j. r.
Year: 1871

try i'm keeping up prices of all articles nee
essary i'm everyday life. 1t fosters a spirit
of grumbling, and the national finances,
if the question can be met as to how to get
fixed value to our currency, that value
constantly and uniformly approaching par
with specie, very desirable object will be
gained