Year: 1873

Something goes on in Washington beside
the making of laws and the other business OF
government. On Wednesday afternoons, as we
are informed, lovely woman dominates over
legislation, and social pleasures supersede the
solemn sessions For then it is that the
cynosures receive not only to their own
satisfaction but that of the journalizing Jen-
kinses, who leave the scenes of the saloons
only to go home and write columns upon col
umns of glittering language about what they
have witnessed, as well as about what they
have swallowed. Here at our dreary desk do
we read these rich reports, and greatly do we
find ourselves refreshed thereby. These fes-
tive chronicles may be divided into two
parts, viz: I. A description of the ladies
and their clothes; and 2. descrip-
ton of the victuals We have two of
these rosy and appetizing reports before us,
and may be allowed to condense them for the
delectation of the curious.


You enter, and you are not only bewildered
"by the splendOr of the scene," but you are
also surprised at the preponderance of
"beauty." But why, Jenkins, prepOnder-
aace? Are the beauties Of Washington
specially heavyP Are they less light than
usual upon the fantastic toef Are they large
wasted and beefy, as poor Hawthorne says
the British ladies areR We object to "pre-
"ponderance,n as suggestive of the elephan-
tine. We object also to Jenkins's statement
that a sparkling French marquise has fine
teeth, for that is the way in which jockeys
usually describe horse. We object also to
the statement that the fair hostess was ma
jestic with "quet elegance partly because
elegance and majesty do not mix up well, as
the phrase is, and partly because majestic"
has SAVIOR of royalty unbecoming the wife
of republican Secretary of State. We object
to the statement that Mrs. Senator Z was
"as gay and witty as usual" because it may
be usual for her to be neither witty nor gay.
We object, upon general principles, to the
assertion that Mrs. - is always in demand"
There is a commercial, not to say dry goods
flavor about the phrase, which fills us with
something bordering upon mild disgust.


After so much beauty, it is not to be Won
dered at that the reporter had an extraordinary
appetite for his dinner. In our minds eye we
can see the rapid vibrations of his knife and
fork as he fills himself at the Executive din
ner table, consuming the solids and imbibing
the fluids at the national expense. They live
we'll at the White House, under the artistic
guardianship of "Mr. Jacob, the well known
caterer; and after they have dined, the
Marine Band always soothes them into that
frame of mind which best promotes digestion.
We fear that our friend, the reporter, ate too
much upon this occasion, for it must be con-
fessed that his notice of this dinner is remark
ably dry and dull. Perhaps he was not at the
banquet at ALL Perhaps he merely received
the bill of fare and list of the guests from
"Mr. Jacob, the well known caterer" who
kindly came down into the kitchen to bring it
to him.


Upon the whole, it must be admitted, we
think, that these reports of the Washington
festivities are not altogether satisfactory.
There is certain rich sameness about them
which is little clOying We cannot read
forever about Mrs AS "blue-gIeen silk" OF
Miss BIS "plum- -colored sill1,r or Mrs. Admiral
C.'s elegant black velvet bOrdered with
"sable." Moreover. there is nothing more
agonizing TO hungry man than the perusal
or bill OF fare prcparyS t9g by-gone din
ner, at the consumption of which no had not
the honor and happiness of assisting. ,ont the
wit and the wisdom, the exquisite graces of
conversation, the sparkling repartees of the
President, the bon-mots of the Secretaries
and Senators and Representatives-why, in
the name of common sense, do not the drivel-
ing reporters give us thesef Would they not
be better than reiterated notices of the same
ancient plum -colored or blue green silk, which
may have figured forty, or at least four times,
before 7 Of what use Is it to tell us that the
guests were witty, if we are never to be fa-
vored with specimens of what they said 1t
is irritating; it is aggravating; it is most
tolerable and not to be endured We do not
say, Away with the plum -colored dress ~
for that might not be proper; but we do say,
"Give us the little gems and neat points of
" the conversational