smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1870

How SOME Times ARE DoNE.-A queer case
was that of physician of this city who, on GO
ing to the opera with friend, was cautioned at
the ticket Office TO look out for pckpockets. He
clapped his hand to his watch, valuable one,
engraved with his name and the name Of the
society or friend who gave it to him. 1t was
there all right, and be made sure of keeping it
there by keeping his hand on it all through the
performance of the opera. On coming out, what
was his astonishment to find his watch gone
1t had been taken in spite of his watchfuness.
Rejecting that a watch so engraved could not be
disposed of easily, be advertised bis loss in the
next mornings paper, and added that a reward
of 500 would be paid for its recovery, and no
questions asked. Before the bell rang and
a very elegantly dressed man, in appearance
perfect gentleman, inquired for the advertiser of
! the lost watch.


d" Have you got it2' asked the Doctor quietly.
4" i have, cody returned the stranger "here
it is ] claim the reward"


% Here is the money" said the Doctor, " now
! want to ask"


"Oh, but you said there would be no ques-
tons asked" answered the stranger.
True" said the Doctor, but only want
to know bow under Heaven you got my watch,
when kept my hand on it all the time?'


" Are you sure you kept your hand over it all
the time? ?''


Yes, positive"


"Now, let me refresh your memory. Don't
you remember at one very interesting stage of
the performance, there was fly lit upon your
ear, and you raised your hand to brush it off ~


Yes, it's fact,p' said the Doctor, {" do re-
member that"


"Wen," said the elegant stranger, {" that
was the time you lost your watch. ] tickled the
top of your ear with straw, and you brushed
off the supposed fly, but didn't notice when your
hand went back, that your watch was no longer
there. .''-Hargord Paper.
Year: 1870

IF YOU ARE SUFFERING OR HAVE SUI
| fered from involuntary discharges, what
effect does it produce upon your general health?
Do you feel weak, debiltated, easily tired :?
Does little extra exertion produce palpitation
of the heart? Do your liver or urinary organs
or your kidneys frequently get out of order?
Is your urine thick, milky sloppy, or is it
ropy on settling? Or does a thick scum rise to
the top? Or is a sediment at the bottom after it
has stood awhile? Do you have spells of short
breathing or dyspepsia? Are your bowels con-
stipated2 Do you have spells of fainting or
rushes of blood to the head? Is your memory
impaired? Is your mind constantly dwelling on
this subject2 Do you feel dull, listless, moping,
tired of company, of life? Do you wish to be


left alone, to get away from everybody? Does
any little thing make you start or jump? Is
your sleep broken or restless? Is the luster of
your eye as brilliant? The bloom on your cheek
as bright? Do you enjoy yourself in society as
well? Do you pursue your business with the
same energy? Do you feel as much confidence
in yourself? Are your spirits dull and tagging,
given to fits of melancholy? If so, do not lay
it to your liver or dyspepsia. Have you restless
nights? Your back weak. your knees weak, and
with but little Appetite; and you attribute this
to dyspepsia or liver complaint?
Year: 1870

NHE ELLIPTIC SEWING MACHINES ARE
l. manufactured and warranted by the Wheeler
Wilson Sewing Machine Company. The late
and important improvements enable us to guar.
antee to every purchaser that the Elliptic Ma
chine will do more work, better work, and a
greater variety of work than any other Sewing
Machine now in use. The economy of the Ell
liptc Machine in family is almost incredible
with one, good operator can do the work OF
twelve hands. BY it the making of garments is
reduced from a question of hours to one of min
utes as the following table will show


Ut not to be understood that following table is the
time to make the garments but to do the stitching only
Year: 1870

that those bold defiant, energetic, persevering
successful business men, are always those whose
generative organs in perfect health2


You never hear such men complain of being
melancholy, of nervousness, or palpitation Of the
heart. They are never afraid they cannot sue
ceed in business; they don't become sad and dis
couraged they are always polite and pleasant
in the company of ladies, and look you and them
right in the face--none of your downcast looks
or other meanness about them. | do not mean
those who keep the organs inflated by running
to excess. These will not only
Year: 1870

Too Pooh TO TAKE PAPER.-One of our ex-
changes says of such pitiably poor people
% The poorest man to be met with, especially in
these stirring times, is the man who is too poor
to take a newspaper. We pity such man, es-
pecially if be is man of property. Who ever
heard of a man too poor to smoke chew to-
bacco, if addicted to either? And yet many who
spend ten or fifteen cents day for the "weed !"
are too poor to take newspaper, in the intel
lectual enjoyment Of which their families might
participate. Really such men are poor, they are
objects of pity"
Year: 1870


Like the first flakes Of shdN
On some cloud-reaclihg llillj
While the valley telUR


Is blossoniihg sti,i,
f'huueh ths slieCry sheen


mid the raven locks play,
Still the heart may be green


While the temples are gray.
like the leaves that we first
In their faded dress see,
With the green interspersed
OF the still fruitful tree;
Though we gray hairs among
The dark tresses behold,
Yet the heart may be young
When the head has grown old.
Like the first starry CLEANS
On the brow Of the night
While the Western sky beams
With its warm mellow light;
Though the ringlets may show
Here and there a white thread,
Yet the heart may still glow


Underneath gray head.
Though the frost of long years
The life currents enfold,
Fill the thin form appears


As impassiye and cold
As the long, Fl ezen night


At the pole, still the head
Never yet was so white


That the heart was quite dead.
Year: 1870

We have alluded to the pouring of bottle of
Atlantic water into the Pacific, ceremony per-
formed by the Boston excursion party with edi-
flying solemnity They are entitled to our graft
tnde. The Pacific is very wet already, but, as
the old woman said on a strikingly similar occa-
sion Every little helps. ."-News Letter.
Year: 1870

YoUNGsTER, after deep meditation, broke out
TO bis father Pa, know why colored peo-
pie have white palms to their hands and white
soles to their feet When the first colored man
was made, he stood on all fours while God was
painting him"
Year: 1870

THE builder of a church now in course of con.
strnction, when the toast of his health was given
rather eDigmaticaly replied that he was ~more
fitted for the scafold than for public Speaking ~
Year: 1870

PARTY of surveyors were engaged in survey
ing the State line between North and South Car
olina, and CHANGED to dine at the house of an
old lady, who expressed herself "downright
glad to see them" That she had " alus had a
doubt as to which State she lived in, and now
she would like to kEw for sartir" They told
her that she was but short distance from the
line, but that she lived in North Carolina


"Well now, am right glad to know that live
in North Carolina, for allus heard tell that
South Carolina was such burned sickly hole. u
Year: 1870

How many men, from badly cured diseases,
from the effects of self-abuse and excesses, have
brought about the state OF weakness in those or
gans that has reduced the general system SO
much as to induce almost every other disease
Year: 1870

WHEN YOU BUY A SEWING MACHINE,
Wv select one not likely to get out of order.
The best is the cheapest


Never before, since the introduction of Sewing
Machines, has there been a triumph like that of
;he FLORENCE. Its universal success every
where establishes beyond cavil its superiority.


Though ten years younger than most of tho
well known Machines, the FLORENCE has
eclipsed them all as public favorte, and stands
to-day without a rival as
Year: 1870

ened, falling hair checked, and bald
ness often, though not always, cured
by its use. Nothing can restore the
hair where the iollicles are destroyed,
or the glands atrophied and decayed.
But such as remain can be saved for
usefulness by this application. Instead
of fouling the hair with pasty sedi-
ment, it will keepit clean and vigorous.
Its occasional use will prevent the hair
from turning gray or falling off, and
consequently prevent badness. Free
from those deleterous substances which
make some preparations dangerous and
injurious to the hair, the Vigor can
only benefit but not harm it. If wanted
merely for q
Year: 1870

LNSTABLISHED EXPRESSLY TO AFFORD


IL the afflicted sound and scientific Medical
aid, in the treatment and cure of all Private and
Chronic Diseases cases of secrecy, and all sexual
disorders.
Year: 1870

HeImboId's Fluid Extract Buchu
in all diseases OF these organs, whether existing
in male or female, from whatever cause origina-
ting, and no matter of how long standing. 1t is
pleasant in taste and odor, immediate" in ac-
ton, and more strengthening than any of the
preparations of Bark or Iron.


Those suffering from broken down or delicate
constitutions, procure the remedy at once.


The reader must be aware that, however slight
may be the attack of the above diseases it is GER
tain to affect the bodily health and mental powers.


All the above diseases require the aid of a Di-
uretic. HELMBOLD'S EXTRACT BUCHU is
the great Diuretic
Year: 1870

A dressing which
is at once agreeable,
healthy, and effectual
for preserving the
hair. Faded or gray
hair as soon restored
to ats original color
ac'M the gloss and
freshness Of youth.
Thin hair is thick
Year: 1870

nothing else can be found so desirable.
Containing neither oil nor dye, it does
not soil white cambria, and yet lasts
long on the hair, giving it a rich glossy
lustre and grateful perfume.
Year: 1870

once affected with Organic Weakness, requires
the aid of Medicine to strengthen and invigorate
the system, which HELMBOLD'S EXTRACT
BUCHU invariably does If no treatment is
submitted to, Consumption or Insanity ensues
Year: 1870

at each and every Public Fair since 1857 (th'
year it was completely where any premium q
all has been given, or where its strong points
have been really exhibited.


There is this difference All the Premiums tha
the WEED Sewing Machine Company claim, from
the
Year: 1870

A letter from Rome gives the following the ex
act tenor of the pOstdt1n just laid before the Pope
by or on behalf Of the majority OF the bshOps:-


Since writings circulated with desire which becomes
day vehement attack Catholic tradition,
the dignity of the Council, to disturb the minds Of
the faithful Increase dvisions among bishops themselves
Church. since, the other hand, the time near when II
will be perhaps necessary to suspend the sessions Of the
question which aaaes mems minds should unsolved
ia ORDER therefore, that the of Christians may
longer allowed TO be blown about by wind Of doc


ne that the Ecuencal Council and the Catholic Church
and that the disorder already openly too great not
the undersigned Fathers hunbly and
very urgently implore Holiness most blessed Father
the which Christ the Lord has committed to Of
feeding and the lambs and by the imposed
upon Of confirming brethern to be pleased ad
saw give orders that the draft decree a) concerning
the nfabty Of the Supreme Ponf may be brought Into
the Council for deliberati0n without any delay
Year: 1870

The sgin and mik'' trouble passed through an
other OF Its absurd phases last night The congre-
CATION of the Eleventh street church were invited to
assemble In the lecture room, and about eight
O'Clock sixty people, OF both sexes and OF varied
degree OF intelligence represented in their c0unte.
nances, were gathered together.


The Rev. John Thompson, after prayer, explained
the object OF the meeting, which was to obtain the
sense of those present as to the retaining OF Mr.
Smyth as pastor. He thought that the recent
action of the Presbytery might modify
the views OF some persons present. The
commission, however. that had been sent out to
ascertain this, Of which he was one member, and
Brothers Harris and Maxwell the other two, had,
after conference, decided that it would be the best
course to take silent vote Of "yea" or "nay' as to
Mr.. Smyth being retained as pastor. e


Mr.. Henderson rose and read and submitted the
following protest, which was received


We the undersigned, for ourselves and on behalf
OF the numerous friends OF our PASTOR the Rev.
Charles B. Smyth, constituting, as we DeMeve, o
large majority Of this congregation 40 hereby pro-
test against any action being taken on this occasion
now existing between him and this congregation.
We do so for the following reasons, to VII
First-The congregation have not had sumcient ~
notice OF this meeting, and the same Is therefore
also page iS no noioe Of it having been given 70
friends en % are tSersiore necessarily absent
.yec0nd-Many Of the members who have been
taking part in the proceeding looking towards
dissolution Of the pastoral relation have been, we
fear under the influence Of mistakes as to matters
about which the regular preliminary steps nave not
been taken to afford him an opportunity LOT expiana-
ton.


We respectfully request that this protest be en-
tered on the minutes OF this meeting and that note
Of its contents be made by the COMMITTEES OF Presby
terry now present and that copy OF II pc emO0dled
In their report and presented TO the Presbytery.


Signed on behalf of, We believe, majority OF the
con0reratlOn HAMON G. ANDERSON.


- WILLIAM DRACK.


GEORGE DERBY.


Ballots were then handed round and q request that
each person voting would add his or her name te
the ballot. Mr.. Rossborougn came In rather late
and wished to make a speech but was ruled out Of
order by the chairman. The ballots were brought II
by the eers and the result was forty for dssolvlne
the pastoral connection and twenty In favor o
retaining It,


Mr.. Thompson announced that the commission
was not authorized to give the result OF the vote Il
the meeting but they would do so at the meeting O
the Presbytery to be held at Paterson tomorrow
He Immediately pronounced the benedicton and thu
company broke up.


AS Mr. Thompson gave the result of the vote K
the members OF the press present the absurd1ty o
withholding from those who were the most interested
In the result was another Of those nnumerable fol
lies that these Pharsaical people seem SO prone
commit.
Year: 1870

since the loss Of his young son. has vowed never 70
sign death warrant


In a despatch to Governor Bowen. Earl Granville
absolutely disavows any wish the part OF the Eng
lish government to abandon New Zealand or to bring
about q separation.
Year: 1870

STRANGE EFFECTS or STRYCHNIYE.-An
instance illustrating the terrible activity and
virulence Of strychnine lately came to our OBJ
servation, which occurred 10 US as being very
remarkable, though we suppose It a natural
result This was the case A farmer named
Chilson, living near Girard, thinking to rid
his cOrnfeld of troublesome ground hog,
managed to administer the quadruped dose
Of strychnine which killed him nearly instantly.
The carcass was suspended in tree, where
the crows soon espied the savory bit aud pro-
ceeded TO appease their appetites After par
taking of the fatal meal, the crows would fly
rapidly a short distance, as if in agony, and
fall dead TO the ground. The bones being
thoroughly stripped Of the flesh remained eI-
posed to the bleaching influence Of the sun
shine rain and frost for nearly two years, when
falling to the ground, a highly priced dog
masticated parts Of them, and died from the
effect in a space not exceeding ten minutes.-
CJHHeam Reporter.
Year: 1870

GIRLHooD is a beautiful season, and its
love-its warm, uncalculating, devoted love
so exaggerating in its simplicity, so keen from
its frcshness-ls the very poetry Of fattachment;
after years have nothing like it. To know
that the love which once seemed eternal can
have an end destroys its immortality and
thus brought to level with the beginnings
and endngs, the chances and changes Of life


commonplace enjoyments and pleasure5-and
alas from the sublime to the ridiculous there
is but step-our divinity turns out an idol!
We are grown too wise, too worldly for our
former faith, aud we laugh at wha: we wept at
before; such laughter is more bitter than tears
Year: 1870

The HUsBAND.-Ladies sometimes do not
value their husband as they ought to. They
not unfrequently learn the value Of good hus-
band for the first time by the loss of him. Yet
the husband is the very roof-tree Of the house
the cornerstone of the edifce-the keystone of
the arch called home. lie is the bred-winner
of the family-its defence aud its glory-the
beginning and ending of the golden chain of
life which surrounds tits consoler, lawgiyer
aud king. And yet we see how frail is the
life Of the husband and the father When he
is taken sick, what gloomy clouds hover over
the house. When he is dead, what darkness,
weeping, agony Then poverty, like the mur-
dcrous assassin, breaks in the window-starva-
ton, like famished wolf howls at the door
Widowhood is too often an associate of sack
cloth and ashes. Orphanhood too often means
desolation and woe.
Year: 1870

God has written on the flowers that sweeten
the air: on the breeze that rocks the flowers
upon tie stem; upon the rain drop
that refreshes tie moss that lifts its
head in the desert; upon its deep chambers
upon every penciled shell that sleeps in
the cavern Of the deep, no less than upon the
mighty sun that warns and cheers millions Of
creatures which live in its light, upon all his
works be has written, " None liveth for him
self alone"
Year: 1870

A muddy stream. flowing into one clear and
sparkling, for time rolls along by itself \
little farther down they unite and the whole Is
impure. So youth untouched by sin, may for
short time keep its purity in foul company,
but litter later and they mingle.
Year: 1870

CAScER.-A citizen Of Philadelphia, who has
been using weak solution Of carbolc acid as
a wash to correct the offensive odor arising
from a canccrous affection, discovered that it
also entirely removed the cancer. Ono-iourth
Of an ounce Of carbolic acid Is diluted with
quart (thirty-two fluid ounces Of water, and
the lotion is applied three times day. A
weak solution, containing one eighth Of an
ounce Of carbolic acid to the quart Of water
would probably be a safer application.
Year: 1870

The Practical Farmer contains the following
suggestion to gardeners: To succeed, gar
dener must not attempt too much must limit
himself to few crops begin on a small scale
till lie masters bis business. Let every thing
be thoroughly done.


Asa rule, he recommended one hundred
wagon-loads Of manure to tie acre, and three
crops a year. Have something ready early
even if protection was necessary IN the winter.
Things out of season pay best, and gardening
canno. be easily oyerdOne,
Year: 1870

JUDGE EvANs, of st Cloud, Mimi,
married couple the ether day Who had
never seen each other until about an hour
before their marriage. The bride arrived
on the St. paul traa, and vas met for the
first time By the bridegroom and the two
went direct to Judge Evans Office, where
the marriage was oonsurnmated without
delay 1t is proper to state that the couple
had been corresponding with each other
aud exchanged photographs.
Year: 1870

To ascend staircase eighteen feet high
requires thirty-s times the force thai Il.
required to walk eighteen feet on level
Ground and would therefore be equal to a
lsveI walk Of three hundred and twenty-fuur
f.et So then person shut up in the house,
o,a in need of exercise, can walk his mile by
going up these, say sixteen times.
Year: 1870

A little faxen-bared boy, with blue
eyes, pretty pink cheeks, and scrubby
brown hands He wore heavy, GATHERING
boots and whistled funny little tunes, which
piade sou nervous He turned sume+-
saults upon the sofa until he broke all the
springs; be fired marbles through all
the window panes; dragged his mnddy
boots over the clean floors, and tormented
poor old tabby until she came to look with
terror on all the small boys He studied
little and played great deal insisted up
on it, that America was on the Nor hern
Continent and started out bravely on the
multiplication table, but shipwrecked ere
he reached the FIVE times he forgot his
lessons while coming home from school,
but remembered every funny thing that
happened during the day, and could tell
tales IL CULVER until quite exhausted.
IL had taste for the military, and every
Saturday drilled his company, which con-
sisted OF three boys, a toy gun, a tin whistle
and an old faded flag, which his little sharp
eyes discovered one day under the dust and
rubbish of the garret. He heard the old
story of William Tell. one evening in the
gloanin@, and for many day there after
he has been firing recklessly at an apple,
set up on the gate post


But he is gone, and the house is lonely
without him. We miss the Gathering OF
his boots through the hall, when school is
out; the tunes he used to whistle and the


neurigible captain Jlnks : the coats,
and mlttens, and caps that used to be strewn
about the house the military di play on
Saturday, and more than all, the qalilt
little face that peered into every household
mystery.


The house is quiet and order y now the
Maltese cat S eeps soundly behind the
stove, in blissiul state Of security the
great shaggy black dos walks solemniy IN
to the room and looks anxiously about, as
If IN search Of somebody, then stalk, out
with a dissatisfied ar the old hag flaps
mourntuly at halI-mls,, in the back yard,
and all around the house are The abandoned
targets he used to pratice with But the
Little boy that etfervesccd with life and
jpllity- is missing, and the days are lonely
without him.


0 good people, wan Iering up and doTa
the crowded highway OF life, if in your
travels you come across ii white haired little
boy, with blue eyes, and tar, irish
face, who whistles funny little tunes, and
wears heavy gathering boots, stop him, aud
send him back to US. for he is the little
boy that is missing = Rochester Union.
Year: 1870

Troehu's Reply TO the Criticisms on His Pro-
HcinmatiOn-Wby the "Gauche" was Sup
pressed.


In answer to the criticisms upon the alleged
Objectionable passages in his proclamation
issued on taking command of Paris, General
Trochu wrote the following


PARIS, Aug. 19.-While appreciating with
friendliness for which l thank you, the docu-
ment by which in the night of nay return from
the army put myself in communication with
the people of Paris, YOU appear to desire eX-
plantations on the subject of the following pas
sage in my proclamation


81 appeal to men OF all parties, belonging myself,
as is well known In the army, TO no party but that
OF the country appeal to their devOtedness to re-
strain by moral authority those ardent spirits who
cannot restrain themselves, and to do justice with
their own hands on those men of the party who see
in the public calamity only an occasion to satisfy
their detes.able appetites."


have all my life been for free discussion,
my profession OF faith. The error of all the
Governments which have known has been to
consider force as the ultima ratio of power
All, without exception, have more or less rele-
gated to the back ground that true force, the
only force which is etficacious, at all times the
only decisive force when the difficult problems
which agitate civilization are to be resolved
moral force. All these Governments have been
more or less personal, not perceiving that
impersonal power which considers itself
but as the delegation of the nation
which thinks and acts but in
the interest of the nation, and never for its own
interest-which submits cheerfUlly to all the
control which it may please the nation to re-
qHire-which is loyal sincere, ardent for the
public good, and ever guided by principles of
Roral force the power of which have defined.
1t is in this spirit that ] addressed the popula-
tion of Paris; IL is in this spirit that have
lived, AND that in L1e measure Of my ability and