Year: 1873

It does not make any difference


whether your name is Keyser or not, If


you want to buy a dog, there is one for


sale cheap on a canal-boat now Drawing


the pillows somewhere east of Frank


fort. The captain of the boat is an Os-


wego man. and it is but one short week


since he spliced his mainbrace and let


out the reefs in his driver, and got


three sheets in the wind, and made all


necessary preparations for a prosperous


voyage. His wife sung, " Write me a


a Letter, Love-" in the cabin his


children played on deck; his steeds


aired their frames on the tow-pate, his


hand was on the rudder, and his mate


was Just recovering from his farewell at


tack of delirun tremens in the forward


cabin. The captain gazed proudly


around him, and could think of nothing


necessary to complete his happiness


but his wife, wiser than he, thought


theyneeded dog, nice Newfoundland,


to play with the children, fish them out
when they fell into the canal, and watch
the deck hands when the captain WAS
of Yafter groceries.


Coming through west Utica Saturday,
the captain bought nice Newfound-
land dog. He got him at a bargain, IN
fact he got him for nothing, so to speak,
because the man who owned the dog
was not around at the time the bargain
was made. The captain had the dog,
but still he was not happy. The dog
had a way of barking at passing crafts,
and so drew upon his captains boat fire.
uuent showers of coal and wood, and he
would dive down the steps into the cab
in suddenly and upset the captains wife.
Once he lit right on the table and
spoiled a pound of butter, and he was
altogether too playful.


Yesterday the captain, who was pl-
GUS man, tied up, and put out his plank
Just east of the city, and started with
his children to go to the park and to
observe the day after the manner of this
vicinity The dog started too, and as
soon as he got on shore he began to ca
per and wag his tail, and so wagged one
of the children fat on his blessed back
The baby yelled, and the captain made
some tender remarks as he set 1T on his
pious feet and some other remarks as
he shook his fist at the dog. The dog
the man, and came run
ming back full of fun, and made alump to
lick his face. He missed the man, but
he knocked the other child into the ca
nal, and the father, without waiting to
make any remarks, jumped in after 1t.
The dog, being to the water born, knew
Just what to do, and he went cavorting
off to get a good headway, barking to
himself at every Jump, and, just as the
man got to the top of the water with
his darling child, the dog took flying
leap of about twenty feet and struck on
top of the man. Well, the water that
man spurted around was boiling hot
with the oaths he sputtered with it, and
his wife pranced around on the deck of
the boat, and flung a pole to the old
man, which the dog promptly dragged
and pulled ashore, and that captain was
nearly drowned before he trod the sod
again.


The dog is an intelligent animal, very
indeed and just as soon as
he saw that mariners face he knew that
was wrong 50 he skunk up
the plank on board. The captain gath
cred what loose granite and lumber he
could in hurried but earnest search,
and marched up the plank, the grum-
NEST figure of Neptune ever done in
Mohawk valley mud. AS soon as he
got on board he opened hot fire on
the dog, and that sagaciOus brute went
yelping through the forward hatch and
struck in the bunk, where the mate lay
musing about the devil. When the
mate saw the dog, he thought the
evil one had come for him sure enough,
and he braced himself for one last
fight, so that, when the captain jumped
down in pursuit of the dog, there was n
mutual misunderstanding all around.
The captains wife looked down ana
tried to explain, but there was a con-
fused whirlpool of bunk boards, and
hair, and bedding, and legs, and arms,
with an occasional infusion of dog, that
it seemed idle to waste her breath in
taking such circus.


To-day that bow of the fated craft cuts
the waters solemnly, and at the helm
stands the wreck of that captain, fastened
together with strips of plaster, and
smelling of liniment, and ever and anon
he surrenders the rudder to his wife,
while he goes forward to hammer de-
iected dog, which is for sale, or to listen
to the rawlings of the maniac confined
under the forward hatch Utica Her
aid