Year: 1875

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TIE ROCKING CHAIR.


Old McStinger was going to bed
a little wavy the other night, and
not wishing to disturb Mrs. Nc.
Singer, who has a tongue like q
rat-tail file he thought it just as
well not to turn on the gas. He got
on very well until he reached the
door Of the chamber where his pa,
tient wife lay sleeping. Here ne
paused a moment balancing on his
heels like pole on a juggler's nose.
Then he made a dash for it in order
to make a bee line across the floor.
Mrs. McStinger, with her usual
exemplary fortitude, had placed the
rocking chair with such gifted skill
that no man could come into the
room without running over it; so
the first thing he knew, McStinge1
stubbed his toe nail off against the
rocker, which knocked the seat
against the crazy bone of his knee,
and made one Of the long arms
prod him in the stomach. Sjmulta-
neously he fell over the chair cross,
wise, and it kicked him behind his
back before he could get up from
the floor, as he stood on all fours.
The Ell gagement was now fully
opened. When a man begins fall.
ing over rocking chairs in a dark
room, he ought sto have three
days rations and forty rounds.


Before McStinger could get up
straight, his knee came down on
one of the long rockers behind, and
the back of the chair came down on
his head with a whack that laid him
out fat on the floor, and before he
could move the chair kicked him
three times in the tenderest part Of
his ribs with the sh., ? end OF this
rocker. This made him perfectly
furious, and he scrambled up ano
ma le a blind rush at the chair deter
mined to blow up the enemy's works
He ran square against the back
and it rocked forward with him.
turning a complete somersault over
the handles, throwing McStinge1
half way across the room and land
ing on top of him, digging into
his abdomen like a bulls horns, al
he lay spread out on the under side
It would have been a good thing
for McStinger if he had lain still
then and let the chair have it's OWL
way.


It Law fiat on his back with The
long points of the rockers embrac
ing his abdomen, and didn't seem te
want to do anything active JUS
then. But McStinger couldnt
make up his mind to give it up yet
He rolled over sideways and upse'
the chair. It fell with a crash OF
it's side, giving him furious dig IL
the liver, which made him straight
en- out his legs spasmodical
ly, barking one shin from thu
instep to the knee on the rock
er which hung in the air, and get
ting the chair on it's feet again
where it stood rocking backward
and forward at him, like a war,
old ram making feints of buckine
it's adversary in order to throw hin
off his guard. The blow in thu
side very nearly finished McStinger
and while lying there rubbing hi
wind back again he was just begin
ming to reflect whether his homo:
required him to proceed any fur
ther in the affair, when Mrs. Nc
Singer suddenly began screaming
all the names in the crimes act, un
der the impression that the Charlie.
Ross abductors were trying to com
nit a burglary, bigamy, robbery
and everything else.


Up to this time she had beer
speechless with terror, and had lai1
there trembling, shedding perspira
ton, and accumulating shrieking
power, until she had gained th'
screaming capacity Of a camel.bacl
engine. She had just reached he:
third sforzando fortissimao acceler
ando, when old McStinger succeed
ed in getting to his feet once more
and became dimly visible to Mrs
McStinger. With one last wild
parting shrek, she sprang from tn