smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1870

The following extract from The Saratc-
gjan is rather funny


1T is one of the most amusing sights in
TIL world to watch young and inexrer-
fenced fly attempt to perigrinate slantindic-
ularly across the head OF one Of our short
haired young men. We mean one of tn, SO
heads that has been seisSored down, rasped.
flied and finished off with sand paper and
emery. so that the minutest phrenological
bump stands ont in as bold relief as hill
OF potatoes. He (the ay) travels so loosely,
and mixes his feet up very much like a
bashful bachelor learning to skate. No use
trying to enjoy a sermon with one of those
heads on an exact line between you and
the preacher, and an unfortunate fly on il
esSaying desperately to get across from the
northwest to the southwest corner TO see
friend
Year: 1870

The following is specimen of printers
technical terms but it don't mean, how
ever, as much as would seem to the unin-
itiated:


"Albert put General Grant on the galley,
and then firish the murder of the young
girl you commenced Yesterday. Set up the
ruins of Herculaneum, and distribute the
small pox; you reed not finish that run
a way match, but have the high water in tie
paper this week. Put new head to Gen
Grant, and lock up jeff. Davis. slide the
dead matter into hell. and let that pi alone
until after dinner. You can put the La
dies fair to press, and then 60 TO the devil
and put him to work on Deacon Fogy's ar
ticle no Eternal Punishment"
Year: 1870

A Connecticut fisherman one day haited
his hook with a live frog. After patiently
waiting some time for q bite. as he chat.ed
with friend. be found that his lively bait
had swum ashore, and WAS sitting quietly
on the rock bv bis side, He wound NJ his
liue aud went home,
Year: 1870

HEALTH, YouTH AND BEAUTY These arc jewels
we all desire to possess. The first so essential to
the enjoyment of life, and the latter possessions
that give position and wealth. There is no means
so simple, and no medicine so certain TO produce
these conditions so essential 10 your happiness
and advancement, as Dr. Walkers Tegeta6ie Tin
egar Biters. 1t is n perfect renovator of the
system. carrying of every particle OF poisonous
matter, wherein the old are mple young. and the
pale and sallow will become fresh and vigorous
Year: 1870

RAIN AND THUNDER.-This section OF the coun
try was visited with very heavy rain, accompa
MED by thunder and tightening on Sunday after
noon and night last. The rain wet the dry hard
ground to depth of four or five inches here but
VIC think done more harm than good Gardens
and orchards were benefited, but feed and dry
grass is materially injured from the bleaching
effects of the storm.
Year: 1870

petty income allowed him by Congress
after his retirement from the army,
and he went abroad for the purpose of
living as economically as possible in some small
town of Germany or France. He lost his pro-
perty during the war, and though he tried hard
to get some remuneration for it from Congress,
he failed. He was greatly discouraged by this,
and also at the way in which bis patriotic SER
vices at the opening of the war were sighted.
Before leaving here he offered his private library
for sale, as a means of meeting the expenses of
his family on their passage to Europe. There
were In this library many valuable books of
military and scientific kind, for which he hoped
TO obtain good prices. But though his friends
of the press called attention to the sale, he
lized very little from it, few of the books bring


ing one-quarter their cost or value. He left
here poor man, shattered in constitution and
with an income so small that he had very hard
work to cover the necessary expenses of his
family. He has been living for some time past
in an humble way at the French town of Tours,
from which we now receive the reports of his
dangerous illness. 1t seems strange that some
of the rich men of New York, who have lately
raised large sums of money to keep the families
of Stanton and Rawlins after Stanton and
Rawlins were dead, have not made up patriotic
fund in the name of Robert Anderson, while he
is yet alive. There has been no secret about
his poverty or about the insufflciency of his
income, and the reasons for his going abroad
have been repeatedly published in the news
papers.
Year: 1870

There was near being a terrible railroad
slaughter in Newark, N. j., the other evening,
through the alleged criminal carelessness of the
driver of car No. of the Montcair, Bloomfield
and Newark horse car road. At about halt past
o'clock the horse car drove up Broad street
and reached the crossing of the Morris and
Essex Railroad just few seconds before a train
came dashing down the steep grade from High
street. The danger to the horse car, filed with
passengers, was perceived in time by the flag
man and Officer Bangor, who united in warning
the driver The latter paid no heed TO the eau
his hind platform. The excitement among the
horse car passengers can better be imagined than
described. 1
Year: 1870

There is many man who has
gone out of the world with a lie in
his right hand for the mere pitiful
satisfaction of bolstering up to the
very last the false position in which
he has lived with his fellow men. If
a will, as it often does, brings out
the best of a good man, it brings
out the worst of bad man." Very
sad, but only too true.
Year: 1870

To KEEP CELLARS FROM FREEzINu.


The method for obtaining this desira.


bic feature Is given by the Scientific


american. The experiment was tried


by a gentleman with the cellar Of an
clubhouse. In which OH several occasions


vegetables have frozen, although the
cellar was fortified against frost by q
process known to farmers as banking
The walls and ceiling were pasted over
with four or five thicknesses Of old
newspapers, a curtain OF the same ma
terial being pasted over the small low
windows at the top OF the cellar. The
papers were pasted to the bare iosts
overhead. leaving an air space between
them aud the floor. He reports that
the papers carried his roots through last
winter, though the cellar was left un-
banked, and he IL confident that they
have made the cellar frost proof. We
do not counsel the special use of old
newspapers for this purpose. 1t is just
as we'll to use coarse brown paper.
Whatever paper Is employed, it will be
necessary To sweep down the walls
thoroughly, aud to use II very strong
size to hold the paper to the stones. 1t
is not necessary to press the paper down
into all the depressions OF the wall;
every air space beneath 1t II Nh Iidi-
tioual defense against the cold.
Year: 1870

The little elephant known as Young
Shoe Fly attached to Gardner & Fore
pauoh's menagerie, breathed his last
yesterday at IL A. M. His remeans
have been bequeathed to the Western
Reserve College, where the body was
taken last evening Ii will be prepared
while there and exhibited among the
curiosities. His death was brought
about by the tussel he had with til large
elephant while in the Vermillion river a
few days ago, when in sport, the big fell
low threw 'Shoo Fly violently into the
deep water. Notwithstanding the death
in the beast family no one regrets his
death more than his mate, who caused
his death. II is pity to look upon him


Tears are continually streaming from his
eyes, and low murmur of groaning is
heard. His keeper says he knows as
well as a man that he was the cause of
his DEATH CIeve'd Plaindealer, April %
Year: 1870

PIOUS OLFACTORIES AND PEREUMED THE
OLOGY.


In recent issue of the Mdependem the
Rev. T. De Witt Talmadge, of Brooklyn
has the following utterance on the sub
ject of smells,


L have good Christian friend who
if he sat in the front pew in the church.
and working man would enter the
door at the other end, would smell him
instantly. My friend is not to blame fol
the sensitiveness of his nose, any more
than you would fog pointer for being
keener on the scent than stupid watch
dog. The fact is, if you had all the
churches free, by reason of the mixin g
up of the common people with the un :
common, you would keep one half OF
Christen dom sick at their stomach. Ii
you are going to kill the church with bad
smells, / will have nothing to do with
this work of evangelization.'


We have reason to believe that there
will be laboring men in heaven; and al
SO number otnegroes, and Fsquimaux,
and Terra del Fuegens, ard Arabs. and
few Indians, and possibly even some
Spaniards and Portuguese. All things
are possible with God. We shall have
all these sorts of people in heaven; but
alas in getting them we shall lose the
society of DR.. Talmadge. Which is to
say, we shall lose the company of one
who could give more real tone to ce-
lestial society than any other contribu-
tion Brooklin could furnish. And wha
would eternal happiness be witwout the
Doctor? Blissful, unquestionably-w e
know that we'll enough-but would it be
distingue would it be recherche without
him? ST. Matthew without stockings or
sandals; st. jerome bareheaded, and with
a coarse brown blanket robe dragging the
ground; st. Sebastian with scarcely any
raiment at all-these we could see and
we should enjoy seeing them; but would
we not miss spike tailed coat and kids
and turn awayregretfully, and say to par
ties from the Orient: These are well
enough. but you ought to see Talmadge
of Brooklyn. | fear me that in the better
world we shall not even have DR.. Tai
madge's good christian friend For if
we were sitting under the glory of the
Throne, and the keeper of the keys ad-
mitted a Benjamin Fr; nklin or other la
boring man, the 'friend,' with his fine
natural powers infinitely augmented by
emancipation from hamperipg flesh.
would detect him with single sniff,
and Immediately take his hat and asked
to be excused.


If the subject of these remarks had
been chosen among the Twelve Apostles
he would not have associated with the
rest. because he could not have stood the
fishy smell of some of his comrades who
came from around the Sea of Galilee.-
lie would have resigned his commission
with some such remarks as he makes in
the extract quoted above. Master, if
thou art going to kill the church thus
with bad smells, 1 will have nothing TO
do With this work of vangelzation.'-
He is deciple and makes that remark
to the Master; the only difference is, that
he makes it in the nineteenth instead of
the first century.


Now, can it be possible that in hand
full of centuries the Christian character
has fallen away from an imposing hero
ism that scorned even the stake, tue
cross and the AK, to poor little effem-
macy that withers and willis under an
unsavory NELL?
Year: 1870

AT Danville, New York, dog chased
cat into house and on to a red-hot
stove. The cat tried to escape by climb
ing up the stove-pipe, but fell back into
pan of boiling water, and the lady of
the house, in trying to rescue the cat,
was bitten and will die, and the cat has
died. and the dog ought to die, or any
other dog or cat.
Year: 1870

Congress is SO far behindhand with
business that there is no prospect of an
adjournment before July. Meanwhile
the mercantile classes are also waiting
in a state of deep suspense. upon the ca
PRECIOUS movements of their representa-
tives.
Year: 1870

Twas but a breath


And yet a woman S fair wted,
And friends warm grew cold and stilted


And life was worse than death.


One venomed word,


That struck its coward, poisoned blow
In whispers hushed and low,


And yet the wide world heard.


Twas but one whispered-one-
That muttered low, for very shame,
That thing the slanderer dare not name,
And yet its work was DONE


A hint so slight,


And yet so mighty in its power,
human soul, in one short hour,


Lies ushed beneath its blight.
If there isn't much poetry, there is truth, which is
better, in the following lines:


He W no checks a child with terrsr.


Stops its play and stills its song,
Not alone commits an error,


But grlevous moral wrong.
Give it play and never fear it,


Active life is no defect;


Never, never break its spirit


Curb it only to direct.


Would you stop the flowing river.


Thinking it would cease to flow !
Onward must it flow forever


Better teach it where to go.
A bootless notwithstanding barefoot.
Mrs. Colfax is delighted with the new
baby.


Attica, Indiana, has a CO operative
butcher shop.
II wit is bad in age, how much more
unbecoming it must be in youth.
Hurry, mamma, said a little innocent
with his cut finger, hurry, it leaking.
Thanks to j. M. Hickman for the
first string of BASS of the season.
How much more pleasant it is to pay
Year: 1870

An amusing paragraph states that in
Vanderburg Co., Indiana, one of the red
children of the forest is officiating as a
Methodist minister. After he has finished
his sermon, he delights the congregation
by giving the war-whoop and executing
scalp'dance, with which benedictory per-
formance the brethren are dismissed full
of pugnacity and piety. Isn't this just
the kind of missionary ambassador to send
with the pipe Of peace to our rebellious
tribes? To be sure, he would have to be-
gin with the whoop and scalp-dance. This
would touch the native heart and prepare
it to acquiesce in good solid treaty on
Christian principles. The Quaker agents
may whoop, but they cannot in conscience
dance and the Indiana man might be
had uncommonly cheap.
Year: 1870

ASHES FOR WHEAr.-A correspon-
dent Of the Rural Gentleman says:


1. Wood ashes operate as a manure
upon wheat even in the limited quantity
Of eight bushels per acre.


2. They push the wheat forward
several days, and in time to escape the
hot, sultry days, which often prevail
about the time of the 'heading out" Of
the wheat, and,


3. They strengthen the stem, giving
it substance aud solidity.


I may here add one or two more prop
critics to the ashes. They afford just
the kind of pabulum or food which is
best for the development and perfection
Of the grain, and will, in my opinion,
also prevent the ravages Of the fly in
wheat. I would here venture to remark
that whoever tries this experiment will
hereafter spread his wood ashes upon
his wheat as above indicated and in SO
doing he will etfectually guard against
and prevent the rust in his wheat.
Year: 1870

MlStr0SScS.


Do not let this caption frighten Propri-
ETY. from her seat. 'Tis no uncommon
thing to hear of men of weakness as well
as of women similar in non>resistant pow.
ers. In the short article below, from the
pen of the graceful Mrs. Stanton, the
whole question of social or matrimonial
morals is condensed. If man may kill
his fellow man for disturbing the pool Of
his happiness, why-in these days of
"equal rights to all, without distinction of
race, sex or color"-why may not woman
shoot her sister woman when-when-'
well let sister Cady Stanton tell her mind
and spare US farther comment:


Elizabeth Cady Stanton writes of the
kichardson- Mcfarland case as follows
This wholesale shooting of wives para
mours should be stopped. IL Gems.
Sickles and Cole had been sentenced to
pass the remainder of their days in Sing
Sing, as they should have been, Mcfarland
would never have desired the same kind of
notoriety. Suppose the women should
decide to shoot their husband 5 mistresses,
what wholesale slaughter Of innocents
we should have of it! l wonder how
long justice would halt in Our courts in
their case, and how long public sentiment
would sustain such action2'
Year: 1870

COMPULSORY EuucAlIOus


The Sparta Eagle, in commenting upon
that portion of Gov. Fairchild's message
which recommends compulsory education,
very forcibly says: s-n


Sand finally, we would ask, is the
injury to the state under the present sys'
tenn greater than the injury to individual
liberty under the proposed compulsory
system There is no one who will, who
can, judge so justly as to the interests Of
child as parent, and to punish par
ent, through judge and jury, for failure
to send child to school, is proposition
worthy only O those countries where the
advantage of education are not apprecia-
ted or understood, and is comparable only
to those ancient laws which compelled
men and women to marry under pena ty
of fine or imprisonment. The people
want no school committee man demanding
the reason for the absence of their chill.
dren from school; no surgeon examining
their little ones to ascertain whether their
constitutions would bear six hours daily
imprisonment in a close and ill-ventilated
schoolroom. Such things belong to the
family, and the state should ntver intrude
at the hearth stone except upon the most
urgent and tremendous reasons. The
absence of 4 or per cent. of the children
who possibly might attend, from the pub
lie schools, does not give. the state a just
presext for the invasion of family rights.
and we believe that should the measure
proposed become a law, it. would meet
with such general reprobation that it
could not be enforced, but would bring
contempt and ridicule upon all connected
with its passage or execution. We trust
that the legislature will pass no such
law"
Year: 1870

FAIR AND FEsTIvAL.-The ladies Of Waueb
Chapel commence tomorrow night, I'm their
church, corner Of Third street east and A street
north, far and festival for the beneflt OF NE
church, w
Year: 1870

Particular attention given this one article in
our Trade, and We constantly supplied with a
choice article from New York state.


In fact we give our special and undivided attention
Year: 1870

A FINANCE COMMITTEE WORTH HAVING.
Two weeks ago yesterday Rev. VIM. Hart, pas
tor of the Fifth Presbyterian Church, corner of
9Th and 1 streets, announced to his cOngrega-
tion in regard to the debt on the church that he
had three thousand dollars at his command II
bring the church out Of debt Nothing was
done then, but on Monday afternoon last, at a
meeting Of the Finance Committee Of the
Church, the pastor announced the same fact
except that If they would raise the sum of 81 900
in addition to the three thousand at his COM
mand, the church would be freed from all in
cumbrances whatever. The committee accepted
the suggestion, and at once raised the sum of
$1,000 among themselves, thus placing the
church entirely out Of debt.
Year: 1870

Yesterday Chief OF Police Campbell issued an order
TO the police iustluctiDg them TO give all proper
assistance TO the officers and agents OF the Society
Tor tie Prevention OF Cruelty TO Animals and to
arrest all parties 1ound violating the law.
Year: 1870

Only the despsed people Of Israel professed to worship
the true God and even they looked with intense hatred
on the new faith while the surrounding nations pre-,
sented the strongest obstacles to its reception ana
growth. Poor, guilty. trembling humanity, what Goud
be done for heei Could eleven plain men Ike the dsci
pies accomplish the work Christ set for hemf Consider
the they had-teaching and baptizing Our Lord
made little Of forms and rituals; but baptism Is virtually


profession OF faith The world will mover be saved by
preaching alone, but the Church and all is agencies must
be brought to the task Our Lord would have ~ His
Church only pledged men, and therefore, lie ordained
this pledge OF baptism. Poor wretched sinful man must
DO made To know and receive the Gospel OF Christ fuy
and heartily, and therefore, 10 must be preached Dcu
Gated explained, applied. Preaching the Gospel In ts


largest sense does not imply the alone, for the
Church breaches also by her songs and prayers by what
ever leads to know and embrace the truth Of God


Having abored and prayed for reunion, Il proper
that We The Presbyterian church, should consent 10
separation from this Board, and rally around Ogani
zatOn But we cannot forget the American Board. It
was our first love- IL has been the OF OF
best Christian training Whatever jealOusos have arisen
between the two denominations there has been
jar in this sacred nclOsure We part n anger
altogether IN s0rTOw but with very tender regrets. We
go, brethren only to work side by side with you in the
Christian enterprise This will be but the begin
ming OF new and advancing Let redouble
our zeal, activity, and bounty and let only rivalry
be that OF love and service To our Heavenly Master.
The closing prayer offered by the Rev. Alexander
King OF Ireland
Year: 1870

JAMES FISK, JR., vANQUIsHED BY COLLECTOR


WHITE.


Col. Fisk, anxious probably to distinguish
himself in a field OF litigation gave notice to Col
ecOr White few weeks ago that the taxes the In
erest Of the bonds OF the Erie Railroad Company would
not DO paid in future, he regarded their collection


Illegal In section 2S Of the law relating TO the subject
1t is provided that If taxes properly due the Government
be not paid within ten days ten cent to be added
to the original amount and further OF ten days
i gvenafter which the Collector seize enough goods
and chettels OF the dcfauter TO the amount due
Section 10 also provides that suit shall be maintained
IN court for the recovery OF tax alleged TO have
been enormously or illegally assessed collected until
appeal shall have been made to the Commissioner Of
Internal Revenue and suit for the purpose Of return
ing the assessment collection OF tax shall De main
tanned In any court.


Collector White in pursuance OF these laws informed
Col Fisk that the expiration Of ten days, the
were not paid nc would proceed TO disran the effects Of
the Erie Railway Co. Fisk bearing In mind that he had
previously obtained sundry ijunctions in time OF need
which had proved OF great service 10 him. resolved 10
seek again the aid of his eoury friend and informed the


Hector tha he had right to collect the tax, and that
he would not pay it, The Collector informed him OF the
language OF Section 10, which enj0ins defauer from
commencing action to restrain the collection or tax,
Fisk could believe him apparently and Collector
White continued to perform hs full duty seized the Ere
printing Office types voodcuts and all, and ad
yertsed them for sale. Fisk now invited counsel ana
had consultations in the OF which the whole situ
alton discussed, and he was finally convinced that
Injunction could not be ODtsned and II obtained,
would be recognized AS Mr. Fisk is not disposed TO
run head against stone wall he yielded bowed TO
tax and the ten cent penalty because OF the original
refusal