Year: 1876

wife usually gets breakfast. The other
morning she didn't. She was sick. He
said he could cook. He had cooked I'm
the mines Was rare hand ut making
haplacks. lie glanced at the thermOm-
eter. 1t stood fifteen degrees below zero.
lie found the kitchen floor covered with
snow that had driited in through the
cracks. lie would have taken wash,
but the basin was frozen TO the bottom of
the sink, and the water-pipe Wouldn't
work. lie thought it must he frozen.
lie kindled fire. II refused to draw.
The fue was chOked up with snow. He
succe eded in thawing out the snow until
it succeeded in thawing out his fire.
This pleasant performance occurred three
times. When the fire at last got warm,
Mr.. Brown had three toes, two fingers,
and an ear frozen. He intended TO have n
good breakfast, but the potatoes were
frozen so hard he concluded to omit them
from the bill of fare. He slipped as he
reached for the pan containing the pan
cake batter, and the pan lit bottom up
ward on the floor. He first picked up
the pan, then the batter. The latter was
as solid as stone cheese, and was so
heavy that he despaired of its ever
making light cake, and lie thought he
would omit the iiapjacks. The cream
was ice, and he got OIL poor pun on ice
cream and guessed he would omit the
cream. Eggs, meat and coffee were
enough for breakfast. He drew out some
Goals and laid the steak on them. 1t
was as pliable as an oak board, but he
chuckled to think how the hot Goals
would fetch it to time. They did. In
one minute it was done brown on the
lower side. He turned it over, and in
another minute both sides were brown.
He smiled to think how easy it was to cook
frozen beefsteaks. He put the steak on
a plate. lie forgot to warm the plate.
Some eggs wouldn't 60 bad. With the
hatchet he cracked off piece of butter
and put it i'm the frying pan. 1t thawed
and melted. He took an egg and dexter
Ously tapped it on the edge of the frying
pan. The shell seemed very hard. 1t
didn't crack. He struck it harder. No
go. The egg was an oval chunk of ice.
He lost all patience and threw it against
the wall, but that chunk ice rebounded
and playfully skated across the kitchen
floor. lie picked it up and laid it where
the steak was, among the Goals. lie
watched it get brown, and then black
where the Goals touched it, and a CLEAN
of triumph lit up his eye. He would show
that egg he was no chicken. When the
lower half was burnt to cinder, he took
it up and split it with the hatchet. He
had piece of baked ice. The lower
half was burned to coal, the upper half
was ice. AS scientific feat it was a
successful hungry man it was a failure.
1t went out of doors. Went quick. A
happy thought struck him. He would
first chop up the eggs and then fry them.
He cornered an egg and split it wide
open with the hatchet. He split it up
into little chunks. He couldn't get the
shell off. Thought it wouldn't make
much difference-wOuld have egg on the
half shell. Bully joke. He laid the
pieces in the hot grease. Instead of fry
ing. each piece swelled up, became watery
and looked like Sancho. He didn't want
any eggs; would omit them. Steak and
coffee would answer. He hunted up the
coffee pot. It was twO-thirds full of what
had been old coffee and was ice. He
hadn't time to thaw it, and the shape of
the coffee pot precluded the possibility
of getting out the ice, as he had the pan
cake batter. lie was compelled to omit
the coffee. The steak was left. Many q
king hadn't had steak for breakfast He
made dive ut it with his knife and fork.
Guessed he had struck bone. Never
heard tell of bone in the fleshy part of
a round steak. Dove again. Same result.
Examination disclosed that the steak
had been Drowned on both sides without
thawing in the center. He had to use
the hatchet in making the examination.
He omitted the steak. He omitted Ia
wash the dishes.


When the snow disappears next spring
frying pan, steak, Il coffee pot, a
hatchet, and round, cheese like piece OF
dough may be found in Browns back
door yard. After this when Browns
wife is sick, he'll lie in bed until she re.
covers. He'll omit getting breakfast.