smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1872

ARATHER contemplate trick was played
on one of our young clerks, Sunday night.


He bought cut glass bottle of cologne,
with glass stopper and pink ribbon, to
present to q young lady he is keeping
company with, but on reaching the house
he felt little embarrassed for fear there
were members of the family present, and
so he left the beautiful gift on the stoop
and passed in. The movement was per
ceived by graceless brother of the young
lady, who appropriated the cologne to his
own use, and refilled the bottle with
hartshorn from the family jar, and then
hung around to observe the result. In
little while the young man slipped out on
the stoop, and securing the splendid gift,
slipped back again into the parlor, where,
with few appropriate words, he pressed
it upon the blushing girl. Like a good
and faithful daughter that she was she at
once hurried into the presence of her
mother, and the old lady was charmed.
They didn't put up scent stuff like
that when she was girl; it was
kept in a china tea cup and 1t
was held together by samples of all
the family's hair. But she was very
much pleased with it. She drew out the
stopper, laid the beautiful petals of her
nostrils over the aperture, and fetched
pull at the contents that fairly made them
bubble Then she laid the bottle down,
and picked up brass mounted fire shovel
instead, and said she, as soon as she could
say anything; "Where is that plaguy
brat?" And he, all unconscious of what
had happened, was in front of the mirror
adjusting his necktie and smiling at him
self. And here she found him, and said


to him: oh, you are laughing at the
trick OF an old woman, are you, you wall
eyed lep0r." And then she basted him
one on the ear. And he, being by nature
more eloquent with his legs than his
Year: 1872

There are practices tolerated in relig-
ious congregations, which Christians who
are jealous for the honor of their Masters
ter's house should utterly condemn. De-
corum is the handmade of devotional
feeling, and, fol this reason, the house of
God should never be disturbed by the
slightest approach to irreverence.


"It is part of my religion" said a
pious old lady wnen asked why she went
early to church, at is part of my relig-
ion not to interrupt the religion of
others;" and we believe if many con
gregation made ii part of their religion
not to twist their necks almost out of Joint
to witness the entrance of every person
who passed up the aisle during service, it
would be better both for their necks and
their religion.


A gross abuse of religious decorum
sometimes needs harsh medicine as rem.
edy. We give that adopted by Henry
Clay Dean, who was one time captain OF
Congress. The anecdote is from the Pa
eifc Methodist:


"Being worried one afternoon by this
turning practice in his congregation, Mr..
Dean stopped in his sermon and said


Nov, you listen to me, and I'll tell
you who the people are as each one OF
them comes in


"He then went on with his discourse
until gentleman entered, when he bawl.
ed out like an usher, Deacon A, who
keeps a shop over the way and then went
on with his sermon. Presently another
man passed up the aisle, and his name.
Issiden.sS and occupation were given; so
he continued for some time. At length
some one entered the door who was un-
known TO Mr.. Dean, when he cried out,
"A little old man, with drab coat and an
old white hat; don't know him; look for
yourselves That congregation was cur
ed
Year: 1872

IT is stated that Connecticut railroad
is about to make trial of the so-called
paper car-wheels under the forward truck
of their locomotives. These wheels are
costly, but run safely and easily; they
have been known for some time to car
builders, but their introduction into gen.
eral use has been prevented by the ex-
pense. Sheets of common straw paper
are formed into compact mass by a
pressure of three hundred and fifty tons.
The mass Of paper is turned perfectly
round, and by pressure Of twenty five
tons hub is forced into hole in the cen.
ter. TIL. paper wheel, by a pressure of
two hundred and fifty tons, is next forced
into steel tire with one quarter of an
inch bDVel upon its inner edge. Two cir
cular iron plates are then bolted on to the
tire TO keep the paper filling in place, By
this arrangement the steel tire rests upon
the paper only, and partakes Of its elias.
ticity. II is claimed that these wheels
wear longer than those of the other de-
scription, iniure the tracks less, and run
with less noise.
Year: 1872

tongue, hastened from there, bowling like
mad, and accompanied to the gate by that
brass mounted shovel. He says he would
give everything on earth If he could shake
off the impression that mistake had
been made. .-DdnbttrH NeUs.
Year: 1872

An important decision has been rem
dered by the Supreme Court of Maryland
in regard to the religious belief of wit
nesses. The case in question was an
action for debt, where the defense made
objection to the witness ON the ground of
religious belief The objection was
founded on the old common law rule, as
well as a provision in the State Constitu.
tion providing that belief in the exist
ence of God, with system of future
reward and punishment, was the only
requisite. 1t was shown by direct testi-
mOny to impeach the witness that, so far
as could be gathered from his expressions,
he came within both these limitations.
In rebuttal it was shown that the witness
did not believe in personal God, but
only in Supreme Spirit pervading ma
ture. The court held that the belief in a
personal God was not necessary, and that
the witness, by acknowledging merely
the existence of Supreme Being or
Power, established his competency to
testify.
Year: 1872

"DEER tongue" is a little plant which
is now attracting considerable attention
as an article for scenting tobacco and
wrappers for cigars, the leaves having a
strong vanilla odor. II grows abundantly
Southern paper is confident that it will
become an important commercial product
of that section OF the country.
Year: 1872

JoHN," of the New York Sun, thus
spreads the pinions of his truthfulness; ;
81 swallowed the second joint of the
starboard Goldfish ball, and thought of
what narrow escape / once had in a
foreign land. 1t was in New Jersey,
where had to wear an old iron CRATE
over my face of nights to keep the mus
quitoes from digging wells into my head
One night awoke from deep trance
In my dreams thought l had married
Miss Amelia Spotted Tail. When l
awoke found ! hadn't; but found a
musquito at work at the crate whetting
his sucker on it preparatory to sampling
me, when swift Jersey justice came to
the rescue. The police rushed in and ar
license, and that saved me"
Year: 1872

cans, hitch each can to brick, and chuck
them overheard, aud the soup is DONE"
. The above receipt originated with a
man in Iowa, who got up suppers on odd
occasions for Odd Fellows He has a
receipt for oyster soup, leaving out the
salt


Speaking Of Iowa reminds me of the
way got the money to pay for my tick
et to pay for that Fellows supper. I
bet fellow dollar that I could tell him
how much water to quart went under
the railroad bridge over. the Mississippi
at Dubuque in year. He bet, and I
said two pints to quart. / won the bet.
but after all that supper was an awful
swindle. IF the city didn't settle faster
than its coffee did, its old settlers club
would be failure. and the city too.


Dubuque is celebrated for its fine turn
out on the streets; while I was there a
wagon upset and spilled a lot of women.
I didn't see i'll looked the other way.
No cards.
Year: 1872

KILLING BLACKBERRY BUSHES. -O One
of the editors of the Rural NeW Yorker,
in answer to the question. how to kill
blackberry vines, says: u have not only
planted but killed ou: several acres OF
blackberry bushes during the last ten
years, and have not found either a. very
troublesome task. Last summer I des-
troyed plantation by simply moving off
the plants and thoroughly plowing up the
roots. Not plant lived, nor has suck
er appeared this season and I attribute
my success more to the time of doing the
work than to the manner to thoroughness.
The time selected was Immediately after
gathering the fruit, i. e., the first Of Au-
gust. The plants were then growing
vigorously. and the stems and roots i'm
mature. consequently the cutting and
blowing was too much even for black
berry. This simple method is almost
equally as certain in destroying noxious
plants of other species. but the time must
be varied to correspond with the growth
of the plant, as some mature early and
others late. Always select time when
the plants are making or just finishing
their most vigorous growth"
Year: 1872

A correspondent ofthe New York Jour
nal of Commerce addresses some very
seasonable advice to Southern young men.
of whom he says there are msnyIi in every
branch of trade 10 New York. the city in
fact being crowded with them, and the
number increases every season. The
writer says that scarcely mail arrives
that does not bring sores Of applications
for situations, and adds:


LAS soon as young man finishes his
education down South, in many instances,
before the completion of his studies at
school, he fancies that he is cut out for q
salesman, and that New York is the di-
vinely appointed theatre iu which to play
his part in life. Instead of remaining in
his s.down trodden" State and helping to
build @ It's lost fortunes and waste places;
instead ofdevoting his energies and giving
his labor to the suffering South" he
chooses to desert her in the hour Of need
to exc out precarious existence for awhile
and then return home filled with disap-
pointment and disgust. New York is not
only filled to replstion with southern
statesmen. but hardly one in Fifty of those
who succeed in securing places make
more than scanty support. To such as
are meditating this gave mistake. kindly
word of advice is offered; for the sake of
your State, for your own sakes, stag. at
home" .


In quoting the above the Lynchburg
Ne,cs adds :-"Our advice to the South
|ern young men is to do as they did when
the war broke out, take off their coats,
roll up their sleeves, and 60 to work
though with different weapons. What is
there more degrading in using spade to
turn up the earth for agricultural purpo-
ses than to use it to dig trenches and
make earthw works in time of war3 1t, is
simply shameful that Virginia should be
inviting emigrants here while the flower
of her own population migrates to other
climes. Why do not our young men
themselves supply the demands for labor.
and march to the field Of creative industry
as they did in the late war. to the field Of
battle and glory? Folly-shsme is the
real reason. and yet. after all, what it
there more honorable in standing behind
a counter and handling dry goods, than
in standing upon the soil and holding the
spade or the sythe? If our young men
are too much afraid of this kind Of labor
to try it Individually, let them form State.
county and neighborhood associations,
pledged to work, with their hands. and
then make labor fashionable and digni-
fed"
Year: 1872




Those people who are interested in hard
money will perhaps be proftted by read
ing the following form the Christian
WeeAzy, by DIR. Spauldiag:


"My father was poer man. A large
and growing family was dependent on him
for its daily bread Coming home from
a neighboring town witt ten hard earned
dollars in his packet. be lost them in a
light snow. Long aud fruitless was the
search for them. After the snow the
search was renewed Will the same result
The snow fell and eted again for a
whole generation, aud sill the lost dollars
was fresh in our family circle for silver
dollar to poor man in those days was
larger than full moon.


About mile away lived another ia
ther of family in simihr circumstances
He. too, knew how much dollar cost dug
out of the heart Of a rocky farm: AT
least once or oftener every week for forty
years he had occasion % pass our door,
giving and receiving the common neigh
borly salutations. and every time with a
weight increasingly heavy on his consci-
|ence. But all such pressures have their
Limits; and when that is reached the
crash is greater for the severity of the
strain. In this instance it was as when
an old oak rends its body and breaks its
limbs in falling.


One day. cohpfs ss1y BROKEN down, he
came to my father in tears, confessingT-
| found your dollars lost in the snow
forty years ago. They have been hard
dollars to me, and I can carry them no
longer. I am come to return them, and
ask your forgiveness. and as soon can
[ will pay the interest"


''The scene was like that when Jacob
and Esau met over the ford Jabbok.


''He did not live long enough to pay
the interest. but quite long enough to
furnish practical comment on the text
The spirit of man will sustain his in
trinity. but a wounded spirit who can
bear 7" Who will say that conscience,
thought slumberiug in this life, will never
awake to punish the offender in the life to
come p


If any man wants hard money, let him
get it dishonesty. and he will find it the
hardest money that he ever saw--hard tc
keep, hard to think of, and hard to ans
wer for in the judgment day.
Year: 1872

REMEDY FOR PAINFUL WOUNDS. Take
a pan or shovel with burning Goals aud
sprinkle upon them common brown sugar,
and hold the wounded part in the smoke.
In few minutes the pains will be allay-
ed and recovery proceeds rapidly. In
my own case rusty nail had made bad
wound in the bottom of my foot The
pain and nervous irritation was severe.
This was all removed by holding it in the
smoke for fifteen minutes, and I was able
to resume my reading in comfort. We
have often recommended it to others with
like results. Last week one of my men
had finger nail torn out by pair Of
tongs. It became very painful as was to
have been expected. Held in sugar
smoke for twenty minutes the pain ceas-
ed, and it promises speedy recovery
Country Gentleman.
Year: 1872

got into the cars and took seat In
Ijuxtaposition to female. That females
face was perfect insurance company for
her-it insured her against ever getting
married to anybody except a blind man.
Her mouth looked like crack IN dried
lemon, and there was no more expression
in her face than there is in cup of cold
castard She appeared as if she had
been through one famine and got about
two-thirds through another. She was
old enough to be great-grand mother to
Mary that had the little lamb. She was
chewing prize popcorn. and carried in
her hand yellow rose. while band box
and cotton umbrella nestled sweetly by
her side. l couldn't guess whether she
was on a mission of charity, or going
west to start a sawmill. l was full of
curiosity to hear her speak; so said:


"The exigencies of the time require
great circumspection in person who is
travelling"


Said she, "What?"


Says I, 1.-The orb of day shines resplen-
dent in the blue vault above"


She hitched around uneasy like. then
she raised her umbrella and said, Il don't
want any of your sass-git OUT" and [
got out.


Then I took seat alongside male fell
low, who looked like the ghost of Hamlet
heightened out He was stately cuss !;
and he was reading.


Said I, "Mister, did you ever see a
camel leopard p I said camel leopard.
because it is pious animal. and never
eats any grass without getting down on
it's knees. He said he hadn't seen a
camel leopard. Then, said I do you
chew ?"


He said. mo, sir"
Then I said, '.How sweet is nature p
He took this for connumdrum and
said he didn't know. Then he said he
was deeply interested in the history of a
great man. Alas! he exclaimed, we are
but few"


I told him l knew one; ''the man that
made my cooking stove was great man. "
Then he asked me "'would [ read p


"Says I. "What you got?"


He replied, Watts Hymns" "Re-
veries by Moonlight" and "How to
Spend the Sabbath"


I said, ''None of them for Hannah, y
but if be had an unabridged Business
Directory of New York City, | would
take little read.


Then he said. Young man, look al
these grey hairs"


I told him saw them, and when man
got as old as he was. he ought to dye.
Said l, ''You needn't think these hairs
are any sign of wisdom; it's only sign
that your system lacks iron and advise
you to 60 home and swallow crowbar.


He took this for ironry, and what
little entente cordiule there was between
us was spilled. 1t turned out that he
was chaplain of base ball club.
:. When We got to Rochester called fol
Ia bowl of bean soup. It ought to be cal.
led lean soup. l send you the receipt
for making it: Take lot of water, wash
it we'll, and broil it until it is brown or
both sides; then very carefully pour one
bean into it and let it simmer. Wher
the beans begin to get restless, sweete1
it with salt, then put it up in airtigh
Year: 1872

Being a worker in the leather manufac-
ture. I have constantly under my notice
the awkward manner in which the farm
ing community take of the hides Of ami
mails of their own slaughter. The hind
leg, for instance, being slit up along the
under or perhaps inner side, so as to
leave the hook of the hide in the form ol
skull cap. AS upon being brought into
work every part must be made to lie fat,
this portion has to be opened by cutting
unsig ghtly strips, which materially impair
its usefulness. The following directions
may assist the novice is performing the
operation:


We will suppose the animal dead and
placed on its back: the operator. by
thrusting his knife point foremost and
edge up, makes slit the entire length o.
the carcass, from the chin over the centre
of the breast in the line of the naval te
the vent Let him now stand by its side,
with his face looking the way the head
lies, and taking the fore foot in his lef'
hand, run the point of his knife in the
line of the cleft of the foot and cap of the
knee, up the front of the leg and into the
central slit of his bosom. For the hino
leg. having. reversed bis position. let the
slit be made in the line of the heel, over
the centre of the cap of the hook. dowr
the back of the ham into the central slit
In this way the hide when spread out viii
have square form without long projec
tions. and consequent deep iudentions, o
its outline-COr. Canada Farmer.
Year: 1872

INTERESTING TO FARMERs.-A series OF
experiments. instituted to test the average
loss in weight by drying, shows that corn
loses about one-ffth, and wheat one four
teenth by the process. From this, the
statement is made, that the farmers will
make more money by selling unshelled
corn in the fall at seventy-fve cents than
the following summer at ST. 90 bushel,
and that wheat at $1.32 in December is
equal to $3.50 for the same wheat in the
June following. This estimate is made
on the basis of interest at seven per cent,
and takes no account of the loss from tho
depredations of vermin.
Year: 1872

HA man in New Jersey has inven-
ted stove which will consume its own
smoke. Now, if he will devise method
whereby tobacco smokers can consume
their own smoke, be will be entitled to
the thanks Of all the ladies in the land
Year: 1872

A second amnesty bill is before the
United States senate, the house having
passed the measure. 1t only exempts
those who resigned from the army, navy or
congress 20 join the South. 1t is said
Sumner will not antagonize his civil
rights bill as an amendment now, but
will allow the amnesty bill TO become 4
Law.
Year: 1872

1t is said that the National Democratic
committee will meet 10 Washington
about the 25th inst., in order to adopt
measures to secure an immediate and
thorough organization Of the Democratic
party for the presidential campaign.
Year: 1872

A constituency which sends buffoon to
Congress, deliberately and with knowledge,
does a most thoughtless, disgusting and
hurtful act. 1t was very funny TO see and
hear Mullens OF Tennessee get up and bawl
out ..Mister Speaker, l want a pint Of
order just here = or to hear him, speaking
of an Arkansas member who had been
killed by ku klux, as he did speak in my
hearing about the late Mr.. Hines, in the
most sorrowful and bewaling manner:
"Mister Speaker, he has gone down 10 his
last grave, wrapped in the peaceful sililo-
guy of his blood" 1t may be funny for
the boys in the gallery to see a member
put his big dirty boots upon his desk, slide
down in his chair until he sits on a spot
between the small of his back and his
neck, and go to sleep and snore during the
proceedings of the House, as an Illinois
member used to do in the Forty-first Con-
gress. Perhaps it was amusing TO the COL
ored gallery to see member get to his feet
by the strongest efforts and tie help of his
neighbors, so drunk that he could not
stand, and insist upon quarrelng in an in
coherent manner with the speaker, until
his voice was drowned by the deafening
strokes of the mallet. This exhibition was
given about year ago by Pennsylvania,
who is still member OF the House. Pet
haps the sight OF three or our members
during the session stretched out at full
length upon the sofas in the space back of
the circle of seats, all sound asleep and
sweating like bulls nose in winter is an
inspiring view from the reporters gallery.
Perhaps it looks well to see congressman
squirting. tobacco juice in quantities rang
ing from teaspoonful to a quart all over
the snow white marble of the stairway and
besmearng costly carpets. 1t may be
among the proprieties for down-east
Senator to smoke n five cent cigar in n


hundred thousand dollar room, as have
seen Hamlin do in the unequaled and sup
erb mlrbe-room of the Senate. And it
may be the right thing to do for two mem-
bers OF the present House, who pay about
twenty or thirty dollars month for board
in the Washington hash houses, to bring
lunch of some kind at certain hour in the
day, go into the room marked Exclusively
for members" and eat their luncheons in
happiness. | may say, however, that this
ROOM, Notwithstanding its character is the
cleanest, brightest and purest room in the
capitol, but l submit that ii is hardly the
place to eat greasy sandwich. things
l have described may be funny, amusing
and laughable to the witless herd who go
through life for no other purpose than to
find things to laugh, at, but such congress
men as I have alluded to are a positive in
jury to any district. They have no inhu-
ence here, and no acquaintance they come
here with the same narrow notions they
had at home, serve out their term, draw
their pay, their mileage and stationery, and
go home TO tho same cramped sphere.-"H
T. RI in Cincinnati Commercial.