Year: 1876

w naI Cne animals say.


| have lately been much amused and
entertained By reading Prof. Hitchcock'a
History Of tho Geological Temperance
Convention, which, in other words, was
gathering Of the different animals from
all parts of the earth, where the lion, fox,
horse, COW, elephant, camel, bear, and
many others took prominent part in the
discussion of the use Of alcohol


The lion was chosen to preside, be.
cause he was known as the king of
beasts


The ouFang. outang said that since be
had been captured he had become aquaiu.
ted every day with some new food or
drink, but that nothing seemed so won-
derful as drink man had invented, call.
ed alcohol, going by the names of rum,
brandy, whisky, wine, ale, cider, etc,
which bis master used for every kind Of
disease.


The zebra said he had often been temp.
ted to touch the stuff, but had always
declined, Tor he had seen enough of Its
evil effects upon man, and for his part,
he hated it.


A tame elephant inquired if alcohol
was not good in sickness, and said he
knew of many doctors who always advis.
ed its use. He prided himself on being
an elephant. and thought it was the most
royal race on the face Of the earth.


The camel said if alcohol was any,
where needed to sustain animals ander
heat and fatigue, his race would need it,
for they were compelled to wade. with
heavy burdens, through the scorching
sands Of the desert that they were sat.
isfed with pure water once in few days,
and wished nothing better. He was once
fed upon dates and water, which ferment.
ed in his stomach, aud for few hours he
felt very happy; his step was light and
elastic, but in little while after he felt
wretchod, and at every step seemed to be
dragging mountain. He felt sick for
several hours. He felt sure alcohol was
not good for sickness or anything else,
and he had since warned every animal
not to try such an experiment, and now
no camel in Asia or Africa would touch
anything that would ferment.


An American bear complained that
hs race was once extended over the
whole Of North America, but men had
taken their possessions ard destroyed his
companions. He had only ono hope of
getting back to his former happy state,
aud that rested on alcohol, which was
making sad havoc among men, sweeping
away about one hundred thousand every
year, and OF that rate the race would soon
die out. He urged all to swear eternal
hatred to every drink except cold water,
as we'll as hatred to everything human.


The horse, complained that strong drink
made his race suffer more than any other;
it made their masters very cruel, but
that once in awhile they had chance of
Furnishing them; "for," said he, when
we ind that they have been indulging in
strong drink, we make it rule to run
away with them, sometimes destroying
both them and the wagon, for no one
thinks of blaming horse for running
away with drunken man"


A 6ne.looking eagle said he had seen
a good deal of the world from the lofty
heights to which he few, and that alcohol
was noted to produce only quarreling.
ignorance, aud degradation.


A wise.looking owl said he had opportu.
nifty of seeing the world at nighttime,
and had Travelled great deal through
Europe and America and could they but
see the doIDgs of one night alone 10 enc.
of the splendid gin-palaces of England,
or in the grog. shops and tayerns Of Amer
lea. they would realize that intempernnce
is a mighty whirlpool, He said Some
Of the signs GU the various houses are
very queer; for instance Grocery often
means 'Groggery' Ho, Oysters often
means Hot Sling, Hot Teddy, and 9th.
er hot things, and Soda Water Tenn
perance Bitters, and Temperance Beer
mean anything you choose to call for ex-
cept cold water"


Strange to say, COW from New York
said she had lived on a sort Of distilled
drink called swill, which her master got
from distillery near by, and she had
always seemed plump,but that the speech
es from her companions had made her
change her mind in regard to the stuff
that iatness did not always denote health,
and. 10 fact, her teeth were made rotten
by it, aud the newspapers had already
made great fuss about it, saying that
it caused the children who drank her
milk TO sicken and die


A pack of wolves who were present
behaved very badly, as was their nature
to do, stripping somo sheep oftheir skins,
which they put on their own backs, de-
ceiving many by their appearance.


A menstrous large pig (who, We all
know, is the most selfish Of animals) was
present with her young family, and in
sisted that her race had the right to uso
every kind of food or drink, and that no
animal had any right to dictate what they
should eat or drink. As every one pres
ent knew the disgusting habits of this an
imal, her expression should not have been
noticed but Gne-looking dog became
very angry at such selfish sentiments, aud
declared if they were not Immediately
stopped. animals might soon be reduced
to as low q state as man on the scale Of
patriotism and humanity.


The convention closed in very order
ly manner, after much rubbing of noses,
and many promises 20 stand by cold wa.
ter, and The Banner readers would do
well to promise the same.


UNCLE RICHARD.
Il - VoufHs T.mnsroors Roa,,,er