Year: 1872

there is Tlaughterl. II | can make you
wiser than you are, or if can protect
you in after life as have been projected,
let me do it here, even if / perish on the
spot. Laughter Now this thing oc-
ours in this wise. As trivial as it is, IL is
a matter to be treasured, ] think, and re-
membered. When l was fourteen, as /
remarked before, ] was living with my
parents, who were very poor and CORE
spondingly honest. We had youth liv-
ing with us by the name of Jim Wolfe


He was an excellent fellow, seventeen
years old, and very difiident. He and
slept together and one very bitter win
ter's night a Cousin Mary of mine
she's married now and gone laugh
teri rl-gavc what they called a candy pull


ing in those days in the West, and they
took the saucers of hot candy outside of
the house into the snow, under a sort of
old bower that came out from the caves
it was sort of an ell then all covered with
vines-to cool this hot candy in the snow,
and they were all sitting around there,
and in the meantime we were gone to
bed, we were not invited to attend this
party, we were too young. All these
youngladies and gentlemen were assembled
there, and Jim and ] were in bed. There
were about four inches of snow on the
roof of this ell and our window looked
out on to it, and it was frozen hard.
couple of tomcats were assembled on the
chimney, in the middle of this ell, and
they were growing at fearful rate, and
switching their tails about and going on,
and we couldn't sleep at all. Finally,
jim said, For two cents I'd go out and
snake them cats off that chimney;" 50 |
said, "Of course you would" well, he
said, "Well, would; l have q mighty
good notion to do it," says l, "Of course
you have; certainly you have; you have
great notion to do it," / hoped he
Finally, did get his ambition up and
he raised the window and climbed out on
that icy roof, with nothing on but his
socks and shirt. Laughter. He
went climbing along on all fours on the
roof towards this chimney where the cats
were. In the meantime these young ladies
and gentlemen were enjoying themselves
down under the caves, and when jim got
to that chimney he made pass at the
cats, and his heels flew up and he shot
down and crashed through those vines,
and lit in the midst of the ladies and
gentlemen, and sat down in those hot
saucers of candy [laughterl and there
was a general stampede, of course, and he
came upstairs dropping pieces of china
ware and candy all the way up, and when
he got up there-now anybody in the
world would have gone into profanity or
something calculated to relieve the mind
under such circumstances laughter l.
but he didn't. He scraped the candy off
his legs, nursed his blisters little, and
said, 81 could have ketched them cats if
had had on a good ready" Now, say
this, that if the opportunity had so fallen
out that | could have had ample opportu-
nifty to get up a speech, / could have got
ten up speech that would have sent you
all home-happy or otherwise; l could
have gotten up speech that would have
done honor to the occasion and to me :;
but, under the circumstances, have had
no opportunity, and could not get up
such speech, but, as long as you live,
if you remember the circumstances at all,
you will remember that if had had on a
good ready, / would have caught these lit
trary cats here present. Laughter. |
Now, won't bore you any further, but
will simply say that am glad to be pres
ent here, glad to help to celebrate this
occasion, the new era of an enlarged pros
perity for the Aldine, and also the calling
to the editorial chair of a gentleman OF
culture like Mr.. Stoddard, and am glad
to be able to sit with so bright company
as this, and hope you will excuse further
remarks from yours truly. Laughter.