Year: 1870

y
elderly and experienced ladies the subject
of Long. Engagements, you will find that
they viii shake their heads steadily and at
once pronounce an unequivocal verdict Of
disapprobation. Like the celebrated CO.
lonial Judge, they are perhaps not SO happy
in their augmentation as in their decision,
but they fall back upon their verdict as
characterized by the most impregnable
wisdom. Ii you come to investigate their
reasons, they candidly avow themselves
empires; their opinion is merely gon
eralization of limited individual expert
encos. II will be found, however, that the
British mothers reasons generally resolve
themselves into two; first, they say that
if an engagement is indefinitely prolonged
the daughters health is apt to suffer very
greatly and next they say that the long
engagement has an Inherent tendency to
disintegration-that it is apt to resolve and
come to nothing. The subject is matter
of considerable practical Importance, and
may repay an attempt at elucidation.


OF course extreme instances are to be
avoided. But these instances should be
avoided both on the one side or on the
other, Sometimes very brief Is worse
than very long engagement. Most peo-
pie have heard in their time some queer
stories of very short engagements. / re-
member the case OF gentleman who was
going out as missionary. l do not think
that he was going al Jrnsco among the
savages, but rather, | should think, to
some district where Europeans can live
very comfortably despite the surrounding
prevalent heathenism, ! believe that ii Is
an understood principle, for reasons easily
Ineligible, that missionary is best mar
rial fnhtu ot,l l,aI t,I hnu
ever, to the very last, to provide himself
with such necessary adjunct to his labors
He was taking tea with nice family, and
he announced that he had to depart for
the East the day after the morrow, and
also the unsatisfactory state of his personal
arrangements. A young lady who was
present rather liked him as an individual,
and greatly sympathized with him as a
missionary. The result, which may be
stated in an abridged form, simply was
that the young lady who saw him one day
married him the next, and sailed away
with him to India on the third. We do
not wish to bode i'll for this interesting
young couple, but we are sure that a terrific
paper might be written on hasty marriages.


Now let me give case in point on the
other side of the question, Several long
engagements of truly venerable charac-
ter have come to my knowledge. There
was man in Australia who was engaged
to lady in England for twenty years
| The lady pleaded that she could not leave
her mother l wonder, by the way
whether she had ever asked her mother.
am not sure that young ladies Away
| fully understand their mothers on thes,
points. The gentleman allowed the plea
and languid, semi-Platonic correspond
ence went on. One fine morning the
gentleman was surprised by a letter from
his ancient friend, informing him that heI
mother was now departed this life and
that she was ready to come out and marry
him. This was rather a serious demand
to make upon a middle-aged man while
cracking his egg at breakfast. But hC
considered that he had given his accept
aAce, and did not fail to honor the drafl
in the most business.like way.


Here is another case of quasi long en-
gagement character A clergyman was
walking in beautiful park to note a
famous castle and the surrounding land
scape. At a sudden turn of the walk he
met lady, whose face, though somewhat
changed by time, he remembered well. II
was that of a lady to whom the psrson
had been engaged twenty years before
They had loved each other greatly then
but, according TO their notions of living
there did not appear the most forlorr
chance of q union. Under these circum
stances the lovers agreed that they would
postpone matters indefinitely, and thai
each should be considered at liberty
| The lady went out TO India as specula
| tion, and dropped into good thing. The
| gentleman stuck with pertinacity to hi:
curacy, and remained on the same spot FOL
the whole twenty years Then, after sucl
a long parting, they at last met again, il
| this accidental way, in the great "show
| park. She was widow, with an only
| child, rich, and was handsome STILL Walk
| ing slowly beneath the swinging chestnu


boughs, they discussed old friends
old times. And then the parsoI
said that he proposed to forge
those past twenty years, to erase them
as if they had never been, and to re
vert once more to the old days of thei
engagement. And the lady said, in mil,
phrases meaning much, that she had NJ


objection, And the long engagement re
viYed in the form of very short one.


1t may be said that we are looking upol
the subject in an empiric way, citing op
posite instances and not laying down
principle. 1t would be easy to make


wide-sweeping generalization-ifw we coul,
only see our way to It, But the subjeC
must be taken in cases, and the cases mus
be decided on their merits. 1t is subjeC
for that noble science of casuistry, which
once diligently pursued both by Romans
and Puritan, seems now relegated into tn


region of ethical curiosities The onl


general consent on the subject is tina
adopted by mothers, who look upon lon


engagements with an ill-disguised aver


sion and when they take you into thei


confidence and tell you how vexed an,


anxious they are about their girls, an


enlarge on that dispiriting hopelessnesl


which is a kind of shadow TO long engage


ments, il is difficult not to sympathiz


with their troubles and be persuaded b.


their rhetoric. A great deal of satire


often lavished upon worldly mothers


But in this so.called worldliness goo


mothers are often unworldly and unsel6sl


They only want to know for certain wha


is really for the true good of their girls


and they viii be sure To do it.


There is generally considerabl


amount of poetic interest about youn


engaged pair. But in long engagement


they frequently discount their raptures a


long date and with heavy sacrifice


Among friends and in the family the smil


of interest at the outset is exchanged for tn


smile of pity in the issue. A girl feel


irritated and indignant when she know


that she is pitied. There is often som


amount of affectation about an engage


girl, which is sometimes amusing, an


sometimes absurd. She is apt TO retire


like stricken deer, to some lonely glad


in the drawing-room, where she consider


general society as mere intrusion, and al


men, except the "object," as mere non


entities. She will exemplify that selfish


ness which in nine cases out OF ten belong


to love. Her own home will have for he


subordinate and decreasing interest


She will lose the fresh love Of nature am


the koenness Of her zest for study. be
mind will be obviously unsettled. he