smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1871

AnecQ0GeS OF hlcnarQ Br1n6ley sheridan.


Sheridan was once staying at the house
Of an elderly maiden lady in the country.
who wanted more of his company than be
was willing to give. Proposing one day
to take a stroll with him, he excused
himself to her on account of the badness
of the weather. Shortly afterward she
heard him sneaking out alone. $50, Mr..
Sheridan" said she, lit has cleared up"
"Just little. ma'am: enough for one but
not enough for two"


As Sheridan was entering Court one
day, carrying his books and briefs in a
green bag according to the custom of the
time. some of his brother barristers, think
ing to play joke on him urged some
boys to ask him if he had old clothes for
sale in his green bag.


"Oh no.. instantly responded Sheridan
''they are all new suits"


Those who are in the habit of telling
prodigious stories ought to have good
memories but fortunately. their memo
ries are generally short. Richard Brinsley
Sheridan dealt with these mendacious
pests in manner peculiar to himself. He
would never allow himself to be out done
by verbal prodigy. Whenever mon
strous story was told in his presence be
would endeavor to outdo it by one of his
own coinage, and consign the narrator to
confusion by falsehood more glaring
than his own. Once in his hearing a
sporting adventurer ran thus: Il was fish
ing one day. say in a certain cold spring
full of delicious trout, and soon caught a
large mess But what was really surpris-
ing ..pot foot from the cold spring there
was one of boiling water: so that when
you wanted to cook your fish. all you had
to do, after hooking them from the cold
spring was to pop them directly in the
boiling"


> The company all expressed astouish-
mcnt and incredulity at this monstrous
assertion. with the exception Of Sheridan.
Il know" said be ''of phenomenon yet
more surprising l was fishing one day.
when I came to place where there were
three springs. The first was cold one
stocked with fish. the second boiling
spring, and the third natural fountain
of melted butter and parsley"


melted butter and parsley y exclaim-
ed the first story teller. ''impossible!'


->O>-
Year: 1871

The New York Post of last evening says:-


Yesterday morning a milkman discovered a
body near the blacksmith shop in Syosset f. l.,
which proved to be that OF Garret w. Van
Nostrand, of that place, who until recently
lived in Jamaica. Mr. Van Nostraud is a
drover, worth from fifty to sixty thousand dol
lars, and has of late been more or less addicted
to drink


Coroner Davis, of Oyster Bay, was notified
and Immediately empanelled jury.


The following is the summary OF the evidence
at the inquest On Saturday night man named
Kelly, track-walker on the Long Island Rail-
road, and man named Levine, were drinking
with Van Nostrand at the Syosset Hotel until
O'Clock. Van Nostrand at that time remarked
that he would go home, and walked out Shortly
after Levine followed, and within five minutes
Kelly.


At the inquest the evidence of Kelly and
Levine was very conflicting. They said that
they met each other after going out and went
to the house of Kelly; but when questioned as
to the time they remained there one of them
stated that they left within a short time, while
the other one swore that they remained until
two O'Clock in the morning. Other evidence
points very conclusiYely TO these men as the
perpetrators Of the crime.


The body, when found, presented a shocking
appearance. The face Was cut up in fearful
Year: 1871

and arose to see the Zephyr "overhauling the
lightning train," with her bow dead to the
north, and then the excitement all over the
rain from the engineer to the last brakeman
was the livelest. Close to the Zephyr followed
the Icicle both boats flying ahead of the light
ming train. Again there we're the waving of
handkerchiefs and hats and the blowing of the
locomotive whistle, but this time in honor of the
victory gained by the iceboats for even as the
rejoicing was going on they had passed the
train and were far ahead dashing over the ice
at the rate of mile minute


Never was there q prettier race; and never
was q railroad train, and a lightning train at
that so badly beaten. Running into the poor
ice district the victors whirled about like
fash and headed down the river again, giving
the engineer of the train as it came along
parting wave, he sending whistling shrieks in
response, and the passengers also giving fare
well waves of hats and kerchiefs.


But this travelling at the rate Of sixty miles
an hour is not without its risks though, strange
to say, only single fatal accident on the ice has
thus far taken place. On Friday last, at Hudson,
young mans boat was overturned by the run
ncr catching in q crack 10 the ice, and before he
could get out of the way, boat following his
ran its PROV into his ribs and killed him almost
Instantly.
Year: 1871

have been prontably used in his private pursuits.
With regard to the particular charges against us,
we cannot venture to weary you with the details OF
the facts, We beg, II the paper OF the "President
does not carry its own refutaton, without comment
explanation. that you will devise some scheme to
inquire into the facts.


We deprecate the repeal Of the act for the follow
ing reasons:-


most essential one to enable the State to exercise
power not denied to kings or chancelors, but which
has always been vested In them-the visitorial


2. tits tie only reasonable means Of obtaining
exact information in relation to the charitable, re-
formatory and correctional Institutions Of the State,
and of furnishing to the Government well. advised
judgment as to proper legislation in their behalf.


II we have been incompetent or derelict we can
be dismissed after a hearing, but to repeal such
statute for such reasons as Mr.. Kane assigns
would, We humby conceive, prejudice very high in
terests of the State and close up an avenue for in
formation upon subjects indicated in the act which
has been adopted in many of our Commonwealths,
and will not fail to be adopted by them all.


The principal charges against us which you VIII
expect us to noticesseem to be these-


1. Neglect OF thorough investigations, followed by
plain outspoken reports, where abuses were found.


2. Not ascertaining certain facts and reporting
them TO the Legislature.


Upon the first OF these, so far as it is not ncluded
in the second complaint we need say no more than
this


We are required to report to the Legislature an
nually not oftener and to no one else.


The first Legislature that has met since we have
been fully organized as board had been in session
but sixteen days when the charges were made,
and perhaps not at all when they were determined
on.


The charge OF not reporting recites the existence
OF the report of the general agent, This includes
the documents which Mr.. Kane by his unauthorized
proceeding, has submitted to you, which were pre-
pared unuer the advice and direction Of the general
agent by the corresponding secretary, and which
were the results of answers OF the several institutions
to series OF elaborate interregatories thought
fully and painfully prepared by the general agent
and certain members OF the commission, and for
which, in some respects they were Indebted to the
aid OF the corresponding secretary The admission
of the existence of the voluminous reports OF the
general agent seems to be somewhat inconsistent
with this accusation OF refusing to report at ALL But
nothing but most unTeasoning disposition can ac-
count for such charge under the facts OF the case


Continued in later editlORS.l
Year: 1871

manner, and presented the appearance of being
hacked with hatchet. Plunder no doubt
the object of the murder. While in the hotel
the preceding night Won Nostrand exposed a
well-filed pocket book, but il seems to have
been filed only with paper. 1t is supposed that
he had money in his vest pocket, as the IN lrks
of bloody fingers were on the mans vest. The
two men, Kelly and Levine, were held by the
Coroner
Year: 1871

The following interesting summary and re-
view of the coal trade in Boston for the past five
years is taken from the Boston Commercial
Bulletin, paper noted for its reliability and
truthfulness. 1t will be observed that coal re-
tailed cheaper in Boston during the past year
than at any time previous for the last five
years.


parson with 1869, Were:-
Year: 1871

We print elsewhere a letter from Senator
Buckingham Of Connecticut, giving careful
statement of the political situation in that
State. The exhibit is very encouraging, and
confirms our belief that Connecticut viii next
Monday assert once more her belief in united
Republican Administration.
Year: 1871

The Deficiency Appropriation bill was re-
turned to the House on Saturday slightly
amended. Among other sensible appropriations
accepted by the Senate is the one to increase
the Jersey Coast-Guard; and among those
wisely rejected was Commissioner PleasOntOn's
proposition for an organization of Revenue
spies and infoTmers.
Year: 1871

and warmth Of beautiful spring. Now, mus
we be robbed OF Christi Is the world
to be hurled again into the evils Of
past superstition9 We have but one hope-must
that der Is what we thought power but mockery
TO our souls that have trusted Hlms | confess that
Strauss and his colleagues are TOO much for me,
They have humanely speaking, murdered my
Christ. There has never been any system OF Chris
tian theology and, as soon as men begin to run TO
the schools they begin to grow weak. Joll thought
together as sKiliuy as they will, there will be a
creyice in the armor OF argument for any enemy TO
innct a wound. Man Is not sufficient. IL would be
a foolish thing for one 10 go In the daylight with
cane die looking for the sum- 1t shines out with sur
posing glory, and all can see It, Il is not less foolish
Tor learned men to search for evidence OF Him-the
sun OF heaven. lie it Is who alone can arise from
the sepulchre into which reason may have thrust
HIM. ana roll away the stone of unbelief and inspire
us with that


ALL VICTORIOUS FAITH
that could be impaired by other son OF man. II He
was not the Son OF God also f we cling TO Him. then
He VIII roll away the sealed stone of doom from our
hearts as lie did on that resurrection morn from His
own. Therefore commit you TO the truth. As the
smitren lsraelte looked to that Healer OF human
souls, 20, unquestiOning, to Christ


IL will be seen that the preacher thouph he raised
OLD doubts, advanced nothing that could set them
faith.
Year: 1871

successful This cold unbeleving world OF ours


needed the sunshine OF holy living II needed to Sc
God and Heaven and Christianity In the Church; 1t
needed to feel the pulsations OF the Divine heart
would be attracted TO Christ. Example was also
the most successful way OF winning the esteem OF
the world. That statement might seem to be con-
Trajectory and anomalous; but such was mans
moral constitution that IL constrained him from Its
very nature 10 do homage to truth, goodness
and purity. When a Christian stood upon his
principles and refused compliance with the
sinful and doubtful practices OF society," all that was
noDlest III humanity did homage to him and com.
mended MS course. True personal piety was so in
harmony with mans moral constitution, with the
highest interests OF society and with the nobess
Ideals OF character that public conscience endorsed
He lthe preacherj was not speaking OF the garb OF
profession or OF religious shalns but OF men who
were thoroughly rellgious. II Christians would
the world to look upon Him VINO Is altogether
lovely, they should put the garment OF salvation
and array themselves IN the clean linen Of the
6aviours righteousness, for then Christianity would
90 forth as the brightness OF the morning,
and the whole world would hail It's
coming with admiration ana joy. There
was nothing in this world which men 80 highly
priced as reality In religion They STAND snams
ana hypocrisy In everything else. but they demand
tnat the professor OF religion snail be what he seems
10 be- they want the real article In religion; they
want not the glded or the plated bat the solid artl-
cle-the real religion OF CHRIST III the heart aud lie
OF It's professor God gave much to the world when
ne gave HIS Son the Bible the Spirit and the insli-
tuition OF the ministry; but HIS last ultlmatum OF
mercy was TO send HIS children into the cOmmuni-
tes 0l lmpenitent men, thai by living goodness, by
breathing piety and by fragrant influence that
would speak every hour Of heaven ana immOI tality
should arrest attention. impress minds and souls
10 His dear Son. In conclusion he said we needed
these the Church needed more religion IN lie ana
practice.
Year: 1871

Those who have to work 10 The sun
in the heats Of summer will 6nd, upon .
fair trial, an incalculable advantage BY
arranging to take their breakfast aud Be
ready TO 90 10 work soon after daylight


Leave of work at twelve O'Clock. Take
dinner, sleep two hours, and begiu work


at three or 1t might bo better to stop st
One o'clock aud resume work at four, and
be IN bed at nine o'clock this will give
them full six or seven hours sleep Ut
night, and nearly two 10 the day time.
Thus refreshed BY . sleep in tho after
noon, they will be able to work With the
vigor Of the morning, and will escape the
dreadful task Of three hour's labor iD the
hottest part Of the dsy, which 10 fatal
to 90 many. Hod carriers, brick. .masons,
carpenters, and other mechanics make q
sd mistake when they wait until after
sunrise Of summer morning before they
begin tier days work the result being,
that in the cool Of the day they do moth


ing, snd work hard 10 the boiling suu at
noon during the Aercest heats Of mid
summer. Many Of these men may Be
seen any summer day. at noon, during
the time allowed them for dinner, fast
asleep on the bare ground, which, il the
least damp, causes them to wake up with
o disagreeable tiredness and st ffoees


ending after while in rheumatism, "a
trouble them through oil after life. A
coat for . pillow, and even . newspaper
spread under them, would be great pro


lection but hard board would bc mucl
better in the absence Of . stout coat
Halls Journal Of Health. ' 'r ,N 7"A
Year: 1871

{ LET Me Turn OvER.-I was passenger
on the steamer from Panama to San Fran
cisco when the rush of travelon that line
was immense. We were badly crowded, and
there was no room for chairs or tables, yet
we were bound to have our game Of ''old
sledge," A Baptist minister, smitten with
the lust for gold, had deserted his flock, and
occupied a sleeping place on the cabin floor.
Being lasge. corpulent man, and. finding
him a sound sleeper, four of us squatted
around him, and commenced to play on his
broad stomach, scoring the points of the
game on his black vest. We played for sew
eral hours, undisturbed except by an occa-
sional snore Of great force. had won con-
siderably, and one Of my opponents, Jim
Doyle BY name, becoming excited at my
turning up Jack" brought down his fist
on the lower part of the parsons stomach
with great power. The pious old gentleman
was awakened thereby, and looked up with
some surprise but seeing the state of things
quietly exclaimed Go on with your
game, boys; but if you are going to pound
me in that manner, you had better let me
turn over."- .Harper's Drawer.
Year: 1871

RUIN THEIR CONSTITUTIONS,
bat also those they do business with or for.


How many men, from badly cured diseases,
from the effects Of self abuse and excesses, have
brought about that state Of weakness in those
organs that has reduced the general system
much as 70 induce almost every other disease-
Year: 1871

From an official source comes
the information that the cost of
collection of the internal rev.
enue has been increased about
twenty million of dollars dur
ing the past year, mostly on
account Of the Income Tax 1t
seems that scarcely a dollar of
the Income Tax collected ever
reaches the Treasury. But if
the people insist upon a Radi-
cal administration they must
pay for the luxury,
Year: 1871

The month of August was
so called by the Emperor Au-
gustus, not that he was born in
that mouth--his birthday was
in September-but because he
had always been fortunate in
war during it.
Year: 1871

A RIDDLE.-"I will consent
to all you DESIRE" said a face
tious lady to her lover, "on
condition that you give me
what you have not, what you
never can have, and yet what
you can give me- What did
she ask fora husband.
Year: 1871

A Western editor has been
sent abroad Ivy his subscribers
on account of i'll health. This
is the first instance Of the kind
on record. Clergymen are
sometimes subject to this treat
ment.
Year: 1871

w llO VIII UC NHC lOuNACUL


Nominee for Governor? +?


We have been asked a num-
Der Of times who the Radicals,
who shave fulfilled their mis-
sion," intend to nominate for
Governor. As we are not at all
posted in the matter, we will
give the views of o. B. Chap
man of the Pomeroy Telegraph
upon the subject. From that
paper of May II, we take the
following, and from the tone Of
which it seems the Radicals
are not so very sure Of carry
ing the State next fall, although
they have declared again and
again that the Democratic
party is dead :


The movement in favor Of
Gen. Noyes, as the Republican
candidate for Governor, con-
tinues all over the State.


The contest seems at pres
ent to lie between Ben. Wade
and Noyes, although the Ohio
State Journal considers that
Galloway is the latter's most
formidable competitor.


Ex-senator Wade has Il great
many warm supporters all over
the State, and we'll deserves
them for his integrity, consist.
ency and fearlessness.


But, as VIC have said before,
it is not a time when we can
talk Of any good candidate and
expect to elect him easily, and
especially we should find Mr..
Wade a heavy load to carry.
His speeches are like the man,
rough, out.spoken and bold;
and q few unguarded express
sions made without a particle
of tact, though without the
slightest intention to insult any
body, lost us hundreds of Ger
man votes in this district four
years ago.


We refer TO his speech in
Marietta, which our readers will
remember without going into
details.


Another disadvantage in this
case weighs heavily against him.
lie was one of the San Domin-
90 Commissioners, and it is en-
thusiastic for the acquisition of
that nest of yellow fever and
revolutionary cut-tbroats. Now
Mr.. Wade is perfectly honest
in this matter, and is firmly
convinced that we should add
largely to our resources and
find it easier to pay our public
debt 10y paying a few millions
of ready money for half the Is,
land Of Hayti, but such is his
utter want of tact that he
would probably make the an
nexation of San Domingo. the
burthen of his speeches, and
be completely blind to the fact
that there is no more unpopu-
lar question before the people
than this same annexation.


We have got to do our best
to carry the State this fall, and
we must strip for it and leave
aside everything that is likely
to hinder us.


As for Mr.. Galloway, his
nomination would be a great
misfortune.


No man should be even
named for the high Office Of
Governor against whom the
probable suspicion rests of hav-
ing made the national appoint
ments of his district a subject
of brokerage, and dividing the
profits thereof with such a fel-
Year: 1871

WE hear great complaint
from the farmers and garden
ers in this locality on account
of the damages Of the cut
worms. In many instances
whole fields of corn will have
to be replanted, while the oat
crop and pastures are being
seriously injured by the depre.
dations of these pests.
Year: 1871

Shall harm my Goldilocks


If i tell her she is fair
Were it better should tell her
Beauty is cruel snaref
Tell her that the Prince of Evil
Weaves some nets of yellow hair?
IF speak such shallow riddles,
She will lift her bronze-brown eyes
(Clear as summer brooks in shadow,)
Questioning with grave surprise
She will pierce my "petty maxim"


Through and through its thin disguise.
She will summon to confute me


Cloud of Witnesses, ween,
Pomp of fur, and wealth of plumage,
Lily's fairness, Roses sheen
All Gods beautiful will muster


At their comrades challenge keen.
At her prompting, they shall ask me


Why taught her to discern
Beauty for its own sweet being,
If, so late, to bid her learn
That behind the gracious Presence


Scowls truth SO harsh and stern.
Taking up the word, she'll daunt me


With her might of childish lore,
Saying: mamma, you have bid me


Count our fathers gifts all Ger
Not, like that 'unfaithful servant


Sighting any of the store:
"Surely, one good gift is beauty
His worlds full of it, you know;
By its law the fruit is rounded


And the bounteous roses grow
One may prize ones 'goldilocks,'


Since our Father made them So"
Who shall chide this childish logic?


Who PROFOUND sounder creed?
Beauty has her special charter,


But, while claiming all her need,
Cancels not that plain old maxim:


'sBeauty dwells in lovely deed"
Year: 1871

EVERYBODY KNOWS 4Us.-Some saw
that it is no use for them to advertise, that
they have been in one l.lace of business
all their lives, and everybody knows them.
Such people seem to forget to take into
consideration that our country is increas-
ing in population nearly forty per cent,
every ten years, and no matter how old the
place may be, there are constant changes
taking place. some move away to other
parts, and strangers, fill their places. In
this age Of the world, unless the name of a
business firm is kept constantly before the
public, some new firms may start up, and,
by some liberal advertising, in 1 very
short time take the places Of the older
ones, and the Latter rust out as it we're and
be forgotten. No man ever lost money by
judicious adver: :ising.-lSanta Cruz Sen
tinel.
Year: 1871

SOME smart student at OberIin built a
FIRE on hot day 10 the recitation room,
for joke on the Professor He came in
and heard the class recite, and kept them
in the room two hours listening to lecture
on the "Torrid Zone" He was one of
your cool kind. f..s.-s...
Year: 1871

It IS our painful duty this morning to chronl-
Gle a most distressing MURDER and one which
has thrown our community into intense excite
ment and been the subject of painfully earnest
and we might say, universal lament. The affair
is doubly lamentable, because the deceased was
at the time of the killing a visitor in city, as
the agent, in high capacity, of the State of Al
unfortunate affair must have upon the commu-
nifty, and share the general sorrow that must ex-
ist over the killing of such prominent man.
Year: 1871

Will, in from one 70 twenty minutes afford ease and
comfort, and this medicine rapid in stopping pain
be purchased for fifty cents per bottle at almost
every druggists and country merchants store on this
continent, and within one hours distance of almost
every habtation in the United States.
Year: 1871

= The symptoms OF Liver
Complaint are uneasiness
and pain in the side. Some
times the pain is in the
shoulder, and is mistaken
for rheumatism. The stom-
ach is effected with loss OF
appetite and sickness, bowels
in general costive, some
&timcs alternating with lax
d with pain, and dull, heavy
sensation, considerable loss
Of memory, accompanied
with painful sensation of hay
ing left undone something
which ought to have been
done. Often complaining or
weakness, debility and low
sspirits. Sometimes many or
Year: 1871

THE FATHER MATTHEW SOCIETIES of
New York have been in the habit OF employ
ing singers at their evening meetings who
were not remarkably temperate. Indeed. it
has been the boast of some of these singers
that they got money from the temperance So
ceties with which to get intoxicated, and the
fact has brought much unpleasant criticism
to bear upon the societies. The Temperance
Speakers and Singers Association held a
meeting recently and resolved to employ no
singers or speakers who were not right upon
the temperance question both in theory and
practice. The resolution to this effect was
warmly opposed, but was finally carried by a
good majority. And the result was the cor
rect one.
Year: 1871

NILSSON sang "The Old Folks at Home"
in Pittsbura few nights ago, which will give
this beautiful and familiar melody a new lease
of popularity. Publishers will please make
pote of the fact