smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1871

A GROTEsQUE smile is sometimes very
expressive. We mention those of Daniel
Webster, who likened the word would, -
IN Rufus Choate's handwriting, to small
gridiron struck by lightning; of a sailor
who ikened gentleman whose face was
covered with whiskers up TO his very eyes,
to rat peeping out of a bunch of oakum;
of Western reporter, who, in weather
item on a cold day, said that the suns rays
in the effort to thaw the ice were as futile
as the dull reflex of a painted yellow dog;
of a conductor, who, in discussion as to
speed, said the last time he ran his engine
from Syracuse, the telegraph poles on the
side looked like a fine tooth-comb. Smiles
of a like character are often heard among
the common people, and are supposed to
be the peculiar properties of Western ora
tors. Instances: As sharp as the little
end of nothing; big as all outdoors; it
strikes me like thousand bricks; slick as
grease or creased lightning; melancholy
as a Quaker meeting by moonlight; flat as
a founder; quick as a wink; not enough
to make Cruel for sick grasshopper; not
clothes enough to wad a gun; as limp and
Timber as an India-rubber stove-pipe; un-
easy as a cat in a strange garret; not
strong enough to haul a Goldfish off
gridiron; after you, like a rat-ter-
lACI ullcI Il CHAplnulh sQulIltl. uStlcSS siS
whistling psalms to dead horse no
more than a grasshopper wants an apron;
don't make the difference of the shake of
frogs tail soul bobbing up and down
to the bosom like crazy porpoise in a
pond of red hot grease enthusiasm boiled
over like bottle of ginger-pop as impOs-
sible to penetrate his head as to bore
through Mont Blanc with boiled carrot /;
as impossible as to ladle the ocean dry
with clam-shell, or suck the Gulf of
Mexico through goose-quill ; or to stuff
butter into a wildcat with hot awl or
for a shad to climb up shad-pole with a
fresh mackerel under each arm or for a
cat to run up stove-pipe with a teazel
tied to its tail or for man to lift him.
self over a fence by the straps of his
boots. There is another class of SMILES
scarcely as pertinent +; as, for instance 7:
straight as a rams horn it will melt in
your mouth like red-hot brickbat talk
to him like Dutch uncle; smiling as Il
basket of chips !; odd as Dicks hatband !;
happy as a clam at highwater quicker
than you can say Jack Robinson like all
possessed; like fury; like all natsr' like
all sixty as quick as any thing mad as
hops; mad as Halifax; sleep like top I;
run like thunder deader than door


nail getting along like two-forty on a
plank-road. -AppletOR's Journal.
Year: 1871

ENGLAND is excited on the subject of
her favorite bivalve, oysters. The price
charged for good ones is five times as
great per bushcl in 1871 as it was in 1851.
The beds have been dredged to death,
and cannot restock themselves. Formerly
the price was from sixpence TO one shil-
ling per dozen; now it is from half
crown to three shillings-though there is
a large, coarse oyster sold at fifteen pence
per dozen.
Year: 1871

A SERVANT girl in Boston mistook a
bottle of croton oil for hair oil, and gave
her head a very liberal supply of before
going to bed In the morning her head
was as bald as billiard ball, and the oil
had trickled down and run into her eyes,
burning her face and seriously endanger-
ing her eyesight. 4t'' 'iA1e
Year: 1871

The ORPHANS BALL.-The grand ball to
be given by the Catholic Beneficial Society
for the benefit of st. JoSeph's Orphan Asy-
lum will come off tomorrow night at As
>enbly Hall. 1t is to the credit of our
people that these orphans balls are always
attended, and this year there will no eX-
cepton to the rule. Every arrangement
will be made to insure its complete success.
Year: 1871

the case and the House passed the bin to commute Dt


the Senate would not acquesce, much to the reef 0 the
greater portion OF the people Of the state.


Last evening, when he was visited by the chaplain,
Welcome comparatively composed and talked Freely
on religious matters praying with fervency. He ex-
pressed for his crime and pleaded for forgiveness
In the world He did not sleep much last night,
and took breakfast early In the morning Az 240 O'Clock
the procession Of death formed, and the
conducted TO the place Of execution AFTER the usa
religious exercises the PLATFORM the death warrant
was read and Welcome spoke few words, attrlnuthg
the cause OF his unfortunate end to rum ana disoDe-
dience 10 his parents He then offered an Affecting
PRAYER and al exactly O'Clock the trap was sprung oy
the Sheriff The fall was three feet In SIX minutes
after the drop, Welcomes pulse had cesed 10 i, ~ h
i'm twenty minutes after, his body was placed IN the
coffin.
Year: 1871

on assuming the imperial crown. The
Emperor replied by telegraph, returning thanks,
and predicting glorious future for Germany The
Lower House also adopted congratulatory address
TO the Emperor the Polish members only dissenting
Year: 1871

SEMf.WEEKLY sun, So A YEAR,
OF the same size AMI general Character as
THE WEEKLY, Dlt~ With q greater variety Of
miscellaneous reading. acd furnishing the news
to its subscriber with greater freshness because
It comes twice q wce.1 Instead Of once only.
Year: 1871

THoR THE ACCOMMODATION OF OUR NUMEROUS
y uptown patrons we have opened Branch Office at 24d
broadway corner Thirty street, for receiving ADVERTISE


nents and subscription for the NEW YORK HEkALD with-
out extra charge This R the only authorized branch office


in this city Open from SA NJ ill p NJ. every day ths
Year: 1871

school serve in an Office The wolves would be too
noisy hope barrier will he raised up between


the poor and industrious student, striving hard for
In the world and license to reap the fruits OF his
hard earned learning lie Ia wiling to be judged by
what his knowledge Indicates capacity and not by the
processes OF achieving IT, Whatever s necessary 10 be
known to make the competent applicant in most cases
his ambition will find, since learning is not confined to


the college or the Office Give all q chance; make
brains the desderatum, and we will be satisfied know
that speak the thoughts of many. II. @.


Hartford Conn, June ~, 1871.
Year: 1871

HUpsoY, June pa long growing disaffec-
ton between Catholic priest this city and his con-
gregaon eliminated last Sunday morning by about 200
OF the latter forming around the church entrance and
denying the priest admtance when he appeared at the
morning mass After alteration the priest retired
without holding service. This morning he appeared at


the Police Court for forty warrants for arrest but as vet
no person competent has been found TO ndorse the war
rants 1t looks If the trouble would become serious
Year: 1871




The barometer has risen somewhat without
material change in the weather on the California coast
threatening and cloudy weather Is reported from Ne
braska where rain fell last night The barometer has
fallen somewhat in the Mississippi Valley and still more
SO ON the lakes Of low pressure has slowly adj
vanced southeasward and is now central near Lakes
Ontario and Huron The OF cloudy weather, with
occasional light rains, which Monday evening In
North Carolina and Florida now confined TO the latter
state Partially cloudy weather is now reported from
Georgia to Virginia. and clear weather generally pre-
walls in the Middle and Eastern states Clear weather
preyaed until this afternoon the lakes but coudl-
ness Il now increasing with fresh winds from the south
west and northwest rain-stOrm OF small extent Is
now reported from South Eastern Missouri.


Probabilities


It probable that the central area OF lowest barometer
will pass southeastward over the Middle states tonight
with threatening weather on the lower lakes Fresh
southwestery winds probable for Wednesday south
and OF the Ohio River and Light winds on the Lakes
and the Atlantic coast
Year: 1871

In driving q London underground
railway, we are told that in one part
of the line cuttings were made
throuph a mass of skulls and bones,
sixteen feet in the ground In an
other part forgotten secret passage
was dis covered, twenty feet wide,
supposing to date from the fourteenth
century.
Year: 1871

A woman with three lighted can
dies in each hand, traversed the
streets of New Bedford on her knees
the other evening, not in payment Of
an election bet, as may be readily
supposed, but as areligious penanee
in fulfllment of vow for the safe
return other husband from sea.
Year: 1871

Master Wilton, who keeps the high school
at Tuftonboro, N. H., though now robust
and stout enough, when he graduated and
commenced teaching was as thin as a lath,
and quite efieminate looking, being very
small in size, and wore his hair parted in
the middle, over the whitest forehead in
the world. His first school was in Canton
vile, II. l., and he had been engaged by
the school district committee on the recon-
mendation he had brought with him, and
he was not known to a single person in
town. Under these circumstances, a hui
morous idea seized him to create a sur
prise and withhold an appearance until the
last moment, which he carried out. The
pupils had assembled, and the formality of
drawing seats gone through with, when he
arrived upon the ground, little fellow so
small as not to awaken Il suspicion that he
was the teacher They all thought he was
n strange scholar, and talked with those
before him freely about the expected peda-
gogue. Nobody spoke to him for some
time, till beautiful girl about lS, came to
him, and with blush, asked him if he had
chosen seat. He informed her that he
had not, when she assured him that the
noxt seat to hers was vacant, and that she
should like to have him "set by her." He
assured her that he knew from her appear
ance there was no one in the school he
should more like to sit by, but that he
should be compelled to make other arrange
ments. lie called the school to order, and,
to the astonishment of all, announced him
self the teacher-to the disappointment also
of the little girl who wished him for
neighbor. But this latter was relieved in a
few years, when she became his wife, and
he verified his prophecy of ''setting moro
by her" than any one else in the school.
Year: 1871

GREATNESS OF HEART.-A boys heart Is
not like his vest or his jacket, which would
split open if he should grow into man in
five minutes. The heart may bo very small
so small as only to embrace oneself in its
thoughts and desires,-this makes very
mean, selfish person. The heart may be
enlarged so as to embrace n town,-this
makes good townsman. Or it may take
in ones whole nation,-this makes patri-
ot Or it may take in all mankind,-this
makes a philanthropist. Or it may en-
brace in its affections the whole universe
and the Great Creator Of il, this makes
one Godlike. And all the way from tho
narrowest limit TO the vastest expansion,
its happiness will bo in proportion to its
enlargement.
Year: 1871

A RICH MAN who was injured by being
run over, exclaimed with great wrath: at
isn't the accident that mind, that isn't the
thing; but the idea of being run over by
mad"


THE Utica Observer says that the Clear
field fair consisted of a calf, Il goose and n
pumpkin. We are told that it rained so
hard the first night that the goose swan off,
the calf broke loose and ate the pumpkin,
and thief prowlng around stole the calf,
and that ended the fair.
Year: 1871

DO not command children under six
years of age to keep anything secret, not
even the pleasure you may be preparing as
surprise for dear friend. The cloudless
heaven of youthful open n-heartedness
should not be overcast, not oven by the
rosy dawn OF shynoss; otherwise children
will soon learn to conceal thoir secrets as
well AS yours.
Year: 1871

IMPORTANT INsrRuc77oNs.-The following
instructions have been received at the Sacra-
mento Land Office. These instructions will
entail an immense amount of useless expense
and trouble on applicants for the purchase Of
mining claims, and if sustained BY law the
law should be at once amended:


DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR,


GENERAL LAND OFFICE, Sept. 7th, 1871.
Register and Receiver-Gentlemen: With ref
erence to the proof Of citizenship of applicants
for patents for mining claims you are instructed
as follows, viz:


First-where such application is made by per-
sons claiming to be native born citizens Of the
United States, you will require the affidavit of
each person so claiming that he is native born
citizen, stating the place of his birth-such afi-
davit to be taken before Notary Public, officer
OF a court OF record, or the Register or Receiver
OF the land district wherein the claim lies.


Second-Where such application lis made by a
person claiming to have fled declaration Of in
tention to become a citizen you will require him
to present certified copy of such declaration ur-
der seal Of the court in which it was made


Third-Where such application is made by a
person claiming to be naturalized citizen of the
United States you will require.him to present his
naturalization certificate, or a certified copy
thereof under seal of the court from which the
original issued.


Fourth-Where the application is made by an
incorporated company, you will require cert,
fed copy of their certificate of incorporation, and
evidence of the citizenship of each member OF
stockholder of such company in the manner
herein before set forth.


Fifth-Where the application is made by ar
association of persons Incorporated, you will re-
quire evidence of the citizenship of each person
forming such association in the manner hereir
before described


You will notify all applicants accordingly, in
forming them that no patents will issue upon
any application already made and pending, OF
which may hereafter be made for mineral claims
in default of a compliance herewith.


Very respectfully, your obedient servants


WILLIS DRUMMOND,


Commissioner.
Year: 1871

PLENu or Goops.-D. w. Lubbock is about
opening dry goods and furnishing store here,
which will make the fourth store of this kind in
Auburn We think if all these merchants keep
a good supply of clerks they can manage to wait
on our people without any serious delay. Com
petition is the life of trade, and soon we shall
expect to see people visiting Auburn from Colfa1,
Nevada, Grass Valley. and other small towns, to
lay in their winter supplies Of clothing, etc.
Year: 1871

INDICATIONS Of rain are good, but al signs fail
in dry weather. 1t is not true that the springs
are freshening and sending forth more water,
but it is true that the nights are longer and the
atmosphere cooler, and that less of the water
forced to the surface evaporates.
Year: 1871

Social BALL.-By an advertisement in another
solumn it will be seen that the Trustees Of Rat
tlesnake Bar District assisted by the parents OF
The children, will give social dance on Thurs
day evening next for the benefit Of the Public
School at that place. The people of the district
have been unusually unfortunate. having had
two school houses burned down, and now find
themselves short Of funds to maintain school.
They now offer the public chance to enjoy
themselves, and at the same time aid this worthy
object It is to be hoped ouf people, and espe-
cially the young and dancing portion, will turn
out in force and give our friends cf Rattlesnake
q rousing benefit.
Year: 1871

MUAOAL WhiAE oiONhiNuo'


The last game of the championship series be-
tween the Mutual White Stocking Clubs took place
the Union yesterday in the OF over 1000
spectators great interest being manifested In the result
the friends Of the Mutual Club in hopes Of seeing
their favortes win at least two out of the sees Of FIVE
constituting the championship contests. They were
doomed TO disappointment however, as the Mutuals
mufed In the field almost as bad as the Chigagos had
previous day. This leaves the record Of the
series favor Of Chicago by to the Mutuals having
been successful only in their first match last June. The
L. .nrallnd
Year: 1871

A PREDICTION VERIFIED AS we suspected
predicted Fall style Of gentlemens hat with the
month unquesoned sad Incompatible beauty The town
homewd bound and they should not leave uswh
visiting KsoIs 2la Broadway and getting Of his latest and
stTles Of hAtA
Year: 1871

Reflect that sound mind and body are the
most necessary requisites to promote connubal
happiness Indeed, without these, the journey
through life becomes weary pilgrimage, the
prospect hourly darkens to the view, the mind
becomes shadowed with despair, and filed with
the melancholy reflection that the happiness OF
another is blighted with our own.
Year: 1871

$ The symptoms of Liver
Complaint are uneasiness
and pain in the side. Some
times, the pain is in the
shoulder, and is mistaken


for rheumatism. The stom-
ach is effected with loss of
appetite and sickness, bowels


in general costive, some
atimes alternating with lax
d with pain, and dull, heavy
sensation, considerable loss


of memory, accompanied


with painful sensation Of hav-


ing left undone something


which ought to have been


done. Often complaining Of
weakness, debility and low
scniritc Sometimes many of
Year: 1871

from here to pay insurances. and altogether
il looks very much rs if we had to pass
through heavy drain of currency to the
West. 1t Is matter for regret that the
New York city banks are so much extended
ut the present crisis.


The railroads entering In Chicago will
lose heavily by property destroyed, and
also by the loss Of business for some time
to come.


CHICAGO ASSURANCES IN NEW YoRK-HEAvY
LOSSES OF NEW YORK coMPASIEs-7RoBA-
BILE FAILURES.


In the confusion of the day, and with
the natural unwillngness of the officers Of
the losing companies to reveal the amount
of risks they have taken on property in
Chicago, 1t is impossible as yet to give a
complete list OF the losses which will fall
upon the insurance companies Of New
York; but diligent inquiry has furnished
the material for the following approx innate
Year: 1871

If you want to purchase music or musical in.
slruments the best place is at music store. We
would recommend cur friend Professor f. A.
AMBoLD, whose reputation stands in the front
rank as professor of music, and one who vii
noL Offer Inferior articles to people, of whom
he Is ore His place OF business Is the only music
store south Of Baltimore the Richmond Musica
Exchange, 920 Main street.
Year: 1871

TRIUMPHANT SUCCESS OF THE BEAUTIFUL
lFoR1NEs AND VICTORIA CARDS. proprIe-
tor OF the LEE Gallery Is reaping rich nsrye t
by the Introduction Of his novelties in the photo


graphic art. He continues to keep his prices so
that THIS beautiful work comes within the reach OF
all. Ihe LEE Gallery Is not open on the Sabbath.
Year: 1871

THE SToRH AND THE CIRcus.-Last night
Inc performance at the circus was cut


snort by the storm. The wind blew tho
ram into the tent to such an extent that


tne manager was forced to curtail the per-
lormance. Those who were there last
night cannot appreciate the exhibition as
gwen IN the afternoon-an exhibition
Whlch eXcelled any circus ever shown
mere; Io-nlsht and this afternoon we shall
Year: 1871

THE LATE HOMICIDE Yesterday in the
Police Court the case Of Martin Alley,
which had been previously continued, was
called for trial. The accused waived an
examination, and was sent on to the grand
jury of the Hastings Court for the hrst
Monday In November.
Year: 1871

CONSERVATIVE MEETING IN THE COUNTY
The Conservative citizens of Henrico
should not forget the township meetings to
be held on Friday for the purpose of elect
ing delegates to the Convention for the
nomination Of county officers. The sheriff,
superintendent of the poor, and county
surveyor are to be elected.
Year: 1871

complied with, he would have march
ed at once upon the City OF Mexico,
rallying to his standard the great
army of adventurers from every
quarter of the world. 1t would have
been movement something in the
nature of an avalanche, which accu-
mulates strength and force the fur
ther it goes. The City of Mexico
and the revenues of the Mexican
nation would have tempted this
great conquering host. With success
Walker would have established his
government in the halls of the Mon
tezumas, and the new world would
have been ablaze with the fame and
glory of the modern Caesar.


The Southern leaders of the JEFF.
Davis school were afraid of Walker
because he was the friend OF Quit
man. They were trading with the
Northern Democracy for political
preferment, while Walker and Quit
man were working to found a power
which might help the South i'll the
conflict which was then seen to be
inevitable. If Walker had succeed
ed in establishing himself in Central
America the South would have had
an ally in her rebellion, and after
she had succeeded her fortunes
might have been united with the
flibuster republics of the tropics.
There would have been two empires
Oh this continent of about equal pro-
portions, the one founded on demo
cratic and the other ON aristocratic
notions. The North would have
been for freedom and the South for
caste. Popular sovereignty i'll the
United States and military prepon-
derance in BE Confederacy would
have distinguished the two nations.
This was the programme which was
destroyed, when Walker was muir
dered, from the face of the earth,
because he left no successor capable
of treading in his path. According
as men consider this sketch, so they
will decide whether the death of
Walker was a loss or gain. The
child of glory will say it was a dread
full crime to have dissipated this am
bilious and gorgeous dream of con-
quest; the quiet conservative will
decide that Providence overruled
the "gray-eyed man of destiny in
the interests of peace and progress.