Year: 1871

street cars.


WHAT is the greatest want of the age?


Want of funds.


AN appropriate present for zoologist
would be a bunch of seals.


THE most remarkable instance Of
hybrid animal is cricket-bat.


CHICAGO makes delicate allusion to
her I" tinted citizens"
CARPETS are bought by the yard, worn
by the foot, and sold by auction.


TIE royal "carpet-bagger" is what
they call the new King of Spain.


BECAUSE horses are used to reins, it
does not follow that they are unaffected
by wet weather.


WHEN q mans business is rapidly run
ming down it is time for him to think of
winding it up.


| A PARADoXAL FACT--One OF the most


tender and pathetic writer's in the Eng
| lish language was Sterne.
Why is horse the most curious
feeder in the world Because he eats


best when he has not bit in his mouth.
IT is not necessary that an actor
should be great painter, but he can
| look for no success unless he draws well.
PEOPLE who are always fishing for
compliments do not need very long
lines. They can get their best bites in
| shallow water.


A SALEM woman, who didn't dare to
I eat beefsteak on account of the cattle
disease, ordered of her butcher three or
four pounds Of liver
A PENNSYLVANIA man accidentally
| dropped pistol cartridge into pipe
he was smoking. He is having tin ear
built


| A CHICAGO music store recently sold a
piano, and the buyer soon after wrote
| to the dealers that he and his wife
| couldn't find the place to wind it up,
| and they wanted to be told at once
how to make the thing 60


THE coldest day of the year party Of
Norwich, Conn.,, fishermen walked nine
miles to fish for pickerel through the
ice When they reached the place they
| found that they'd forgotten their bait,
and that none was to be procured nearer
| than NOrWlch.


A TRAVELLER asked an emaciated Geor-
gian if the climate of the rice swamps
was unhealthy. " Wall, no." replied
the loyal native, "taint unhealthy; we
have the fever and ague all the time in
these parts, but then we enjoy power
full undertow Of health"


AN ingenious wife in Des Moines
cured her husband of snoring thus f:
She had gutta-percha tube with two
cup-shaped ends; one she puts over his
nose and mouth and the other over his
ear. He consumes his own noise, as a
| stove does its smoke, and wakes up in
stanter.


The Rome (Ga.) Commercial made its
| appearance the other morning with a
hole in it, The editor explained it next
issue, by stating that he had discovered
an Objectionable article, after the edi-
ton had been worked off, and had
clipped it out Of all the papers before
sending them off.


An enterprising son of four years III
West ingfield told his mother in
great glee Saturday morning that he
had made nice fire in a bureau drawer
and he had. Prompt action, how.
ever, saved the house, and rendered
unnecessary the presence Of the fire
men, who were about rushing to the
spot.


IT is said that some Of the Prusslans
VINO were taken prisoners IN one OF the
recent sorties and carried to Paris, have
raised what the Parisians term comic
pretensions on the subject of eating
horse meat, and have demanded beef
instead. They were answered that
while they were compelled to subsist
upon the same diet as their hosts, con-
cession would be made in their favor
and they would be allowed to eat Prus-
sian horses in remem mbrance of their alb
sent country.


THE Newark Courier says that John ,.
Hart, LID, principal of the New Jer,
sew State Normal School, and author OF
manual of Composition and Rheto-
ric." on page two hundred and eighty
six of that work, defines fiction as " a
story made up of facts invented for that
purpose"


A sTAID gentlemen in Northampton
Mass, who lives in block, the houses
in which are all alike, went home the
other night, and proceeding upstairs,
undressed in the dark and attempted to
get into bed, but to his astonishment
could find no bed. Striking a match,
he ascertained that he was in the wrong
house Dressing hastily, he beat re-
treat, and nothing would have been
known about it if friend of his had
not met him in the hall as he was going
out and demanded to know his business
CARBoLIc ACID FOR WoUNDs.-M. De
Clot gives it as his experience, during
the present war in Europe, that wound
ed soldiers may, without injury, remain
unattended to forty eight hours, if ne
cessary, provided that the wounds are
covered with lint or linen, and Kept
moistened with solution containing
three per cent. of carbolic acid. He
also saws soldiers may be protected
against typhus, dysentery and other
similar diseases, by giving them, morn
and evening, wine glass of carbolio
water containing not more than hall
per cent of the acid.