smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

STUPIDITIEs.-Under this head, DR..


Hall in his Journal of Health for March,


1873, humorously discourses on the


tendency of the times, as follows:


1t is really great wonder that everv-


body is not dead and buried, and the


world itself used up entirely, if the


thousandth part of what is told us about


microscopal and other discoveries SO
called, is true. One man will have it
that the glorious Union over which the
stripes and stars toat so proudly will
soon become depopulated, because re-
spectacle people don't have children:
another has discovered myriads of bugs
III the chatelaines and waterfalls of the
ladies, boring into their skulls and
sucking out all the remaining brains of
the dear delightfuls. A German saran
now tells us that every sip of tea we
take is full Of oily globules which get
into the lungs direct, weaken them, set
up cough, and the person dies of con.
sumption. Another man has found that
the purcst spring water, clear as crystal
to all appearance, if let alone will deposit
sediment which generates typhoid
lever; hence he proposes that everybody
shall quit drinking water. Another
says that bread has so much lime in it
that 1t is turning us all to bone, and
makes us stiff in the joints, that being
the reason we have no 1.-THE, sprightly
old men now -a-days; hence we are full of
limbs and rheumatics long before our
time, therefore we had better quit eating
bread altogether, and live on rice and
sago and tapioca.


The water cure folks assure us that pork
and beans and ham and eggs are full of
abominable trichinG, and, if one il
swallowed and gets fairly nestled into
the system, he, she or it, will breed a
million more in short time, and that
roast beef has Juvenile tape worms in
1t. And here come Tom, Dick, and
and Harry, all in a row, loaded down
with microscopes and spy glasses which
show as plain as day that air is swarm
ing with living monsters and putrid
poisons, which fly into the mouth and
crawl up into the nose and creep into
the ear; hence it is death to breath such
pestilential air, and that the best way
is to keep the mouth shut, plug up the
nose, and ram cotton into the ears.


Ever so many learned professional
gentlemen have been torturing poor fg-
ures for years to make them tell the stu
qendous fib that everybody is either
crazy or soon will be; that the annual
increase is ten per cent, consequently
III eleven years everybody will be crazy,
and more too.


The fact is that the people who spend
their time in Matching out these tom
iooleries ought to be put to work and be
made to earn an honest living. This
world has been pretty well taken care
ot Tor some thousands of years, increas-
ing in comfort and wealth and life. the
average length ofwhich last has doubled
within two centuries, and the popula-
tion increased perhaps three fold and
the presumption is that the Great Maker
of all will so arrange all the antaponis-
tic forces of life for the future as even
tually TO make 'thc wilderness and
solitary place to be glad, and the desert
TO rejoice and blossom as the rose and
the race be happy still.
Year: 1873


be 1000.


FINANCIAL STATEMENT.


City Appropriations for Schools: S s,oo, $500 aSS 90
Amount raised from School Fund and


Bank Tax, 6e.2s
Amount coming to us from Mill Tax, 1892


Making in all. s1Olss.9o


By an Act Of the last Legislature entitled
ian Act in aid Of Free High Schools and
approved by the Governor, Feb. oath, 1873.
We shall receive five hundred dollars this
next year in aid of our High School. Al
lowing that We receive this amount and
that the city raises as much by appropria-
ton this year as last, We shall have more
than ten thousand dollars TO expend on our
schools, or more than five dollars for every
scholar in the city, as we have not yet ex-
pended any of the money which we deriv-
ed from the Mill Tax. This amount, If
carefully expended, should be ample to
give us larger and better schools the COM
| ing year than We have ever before had.
CONSOLIDATION.


The question of consolidating the school



districts in the city has been agitated to
some extent the past year and by a unani-
nous vote of both branches of the city gov
ernment the districts were consolidated.
Since that time. without giving it q trial,
the vote has been reconsidered in o ne
branch Of the City Council and as We are
informed is q matter of unfinished business
in the other. II our city is prepared to
consolidate the school districts, we think
much good. might be derived from SO do
ing. There are however many things to
be taken into consideration; unless care
fully managed it might prove a failure
, We have great territory with twenty-On'
. school districts. In number Of instance
, we find that the districts do not own the
land on which their school houses are stu


ated, but your committee think that if thu


city is prepared to expend the amount O
money which would be necessary in build


ing new houses &C.. that now is the tim
. to consolidate the districts if ever.


The Committee feel deeply the wron
4 and injustice of the present District sy:


TEN for place so large as our eli!


With q school appropriation as liberal a
those of the past three years, the school


at the centre will receive the Lions share
8 an undue proportion of school money
ID while those parts of the town where til
:. scholars are as deserving as any, nu
&c suffer short terms. From a business poll
Of view, our City Government will do
great service to the tax payers in the cou


try districts, by protecting them from d
er too heavy burden Of building scho
" M houses. We believe the pressure again
=: consolidation of our School Distric'
COMES from two directions-thoss, DR.
who are afraid Of unfair usage from {
Year: 1873

Justice Of the Peace TO be 2 He
ought in our opinion, TO be a man
Of sound practical judgement, with
ut least common school education,
OF unbending integrity and inhexi-
bic decision of character. In q
word be ought TO be a sensible,
good man.


Now we hope no Justice of this
county will take it into his head
that because he does not answer TO
our description, that we are ccnsur-
ing him. We are not thinking Of
anybody but an icycat Justice of the
Peace, distracted from times, per-
sons and places. If We intended TO
censure any one, we would now
undertake to describe the poorest
specimen Of Justice we have any
acquaintance with, as one example
ofwhat Justice OF the Peace ought
not to be. Such, however is not
our object. We have simply point
ed out TO our readers the powers of
these Offices, that they might judge
of what ought properly to be eX-
pccted OF them in the discharge of
their duties


Now ye Justices of Mississippi
County A" with charity for all, and
malice against none" of you, we
ask you in the name of the lac to
faithfully execute the duties Of
your Office in a spirit Of justice, but
with unllinchlng frmness. BY so
doing, you will dignity your Office,
reflect honor upon yourselves,
maintain the publicpcace and once
more establish the sovereignty of
the law.
Year: 1873

tween the SETS, the fiddler, seekers
and mourncrs drink whisliey and
discuss theology, the subjects gen
orally being free grace, prcdesiina'
iion; transubStantiation, and the
lawlulness OF infant baptism. The
fiddler, however, takes the bold
ground that as Christ died to save
sinners. it stands TO reason that
there is no such place as a hell !;
that merciful God never torments
lIis creatures, and that when man
dies, he goes strait to heaven, no
matter whether he belongs 10 n
church or not; that for his part, he
has no more use for n preacher than
n blind man hag fora loolling-gl
and generally concludes with the
declaration that he hasn't been in
side Of a meeting house in twenty
years; though hIs wife devils the
life out of him about his sinful ways.
The next moment the company are
careering through the dance to the
music Of the ArkaLsaw Traveller T,
as The night wsnes, the fun grows
fast and furious; legs and feet are
handled with an agility that would
make n kangaroo ashamed of him
self, and the next morning the
company depart for their homes as
light of heart us though they had
never heard Of the devil or his
abode Of darkness.


In short" continued the stran-
ger, al believe the people Of this
county will engage in irolic, q
fight, n horse-racc, or a revival Of
religion with more zeal than any
people in the world. Can you eX-
plain this to me ?" We told him
that we couldn't explain, but would
publish his observations, and some
one might cnlightcn him through
the columns of the TINES. Who
will explain?
Year: 1873

From his Lecture on Education.


When was nine years old (this
is strictly contidcntiaD laughter
l was sent to school-an old, old
painted village school house, that ]
can smell yet.


We had benches made Of slabs OF
logs put in at each end, and we
brought the softness to them. There
we sat. I cannot remember that
ever learned anything at the com
mon school in my day. 1t was al
ways mystery to me how
learned to read. l never remem
ber any process how ! got the al
phabet. l thought l dreamed it out
somehow. My business used to be
divided between two things-being
whipped for rogucry, and sitting on
the bench wishing it was time for
recess.


The comfort I enjoyed in looking
out of the window, seeing the coun-
try round, and hearing the murmur-
ing of the birds. The autumn came
that year, and the vacation was
over. The mother said: "Henry,
next week the school begins" eyes,
ma, but don't want to 60" "Why
not; do you want to grow up a
dunce?" ayes, ma" "You would
like to be servant your whole life?''
eyes, ma" "Would you like to
stay at home and work as SER
vant?" ayes, ma"


/ was kept at home that winter,
and had to do the work of a servant,
clean up the house, set the table,
and all the petty details Of work,
and all these things followed out
faithfully, and in the winter l chop
ped the wood and brought it in,
and it was no small matter to bring
in wood for one Of these old Litch-
field houses.


l enjoyed myself very much, but
l did not know that was educating
myself. My experience taught me
to rely upon myself, and l was new.
er placed in any situation where ]
could not do the thing that was
necessary. l could shoe horse
mend = harness, fix broken wagon
or cut off mans leg, l believe, il
necessary.
Year: 1873

One day last week ten Stearns-
vile couples, with heads full of fun
and baskets full of fodder, went to
Richmond, Penn, to surprise" q
friend. They hadn't the least doubt
of a cordial welcome and expected
to while many hours away with the
help of y fiddle or two at the house
of the hospitablc Richmondcr.


They arrived in good time and
burst in upon the peaceful family,
laughing and shouting in the great
est glee. The provisions were
dumped upon the table; overcoats,
and shawis, and fnrs, and gloves
were thrown off at random and with
out hesitation; the fiddiers unlocked
their instruments and began to tune
up. BY this time the party began
to pay some attention to the master
of The house. He was completely
surprised, but only for a few min
utes, and then he was ready for
them. He inquired if they hadn't
made a mistake and got into the
wrong pew. He was answ cred that
the cheerful occasion was intended
for his benefit and that the party
expected to stay awhile with
him.


They said this smilingly, expect
ing to win over the old gent into
welcoming them. He didn't win
worth cent. He called to one of
his sons to "put four-tinger charges
into the double barrel, and fetch it
to me, and let the dog out of the
woodshed when l get ready to
shoot"


The old mans ire was up and he
meant business. The lady of the
house reached for the broom behind
the pantry door and asked the tid-
dlers eff they highly valued them
instruments" The party began to
think they were getting too warm a
welcome and proceeded to make
tracks. The genial old farmer told
them not to hurry, as he would soon
have the other barrel loaded and
would help them off. They did not
wait. A report says they did not
talk much on their way home. The
ladies said it was mean, and the
men used "naughty words"
Year: 1873

A young man recently died in
Chester County, Pa, who had been
suffering from enlargement of the
spleen and liver, followed by alb
dominal dropsy. A post mortena
examination disclosed the fact that
the liver, spleen, kidneys, stomach
and bowels were completely alb
sorbcd without leaving any portion
of them notwithstanding being
found in the abdomen but a portion
of the omentum and the serous fluid.
Year: 1873

Too MANY HANDS A man and wo.
msn sat side 10y side in New York
stage. The vomsns nicely glovcd
hands lay in her lap, and the man ad.
mired them, Presently he felt . female
hand in his pants pocket He knew it
was female hand by the way it felt Of
his pocket book lie was astonshed
There were the lady's hands in plain
sight Could it be spirit hsnd in his
trousers pocket? He medtated, and
finally took hold Of one Of the hands in
her lap, when she got up aud left the
stage, leaving one of her hands and arms
in his possession. 1t was an artificial
limb He had no use for it, only is
showed that it WAS her natural hand that
was skirmishins in his pscket, and his
money was gone, With barely two
hands women have always succeeded in
getting into mems trousers pockets 10
much as men could bear without signing,
but il they are going two extra hands,
men might 40 we'll lay down their buu-
dies At once We I'll surrender
Year: 1873

dent of this city, boss of the Delta
Saloon and the inventor and sole
proprietor of the drink called the
"Reporter's Cobbler," an astoEish-
ing beverage which he used to
concoct for assuaginG the thirst of
Mark Twain and other knights of
the pencil reportorial.


PERSONAL.-Rien Mcclellan, the
well-known artist and portrait
painter. who for nearly two years
has made his home at Carson City,
has returned to this place and will
again rear his easel in our midst
as soon as he can find a suitable
room for studio. Mr.. Mcclellan,
as a portrait painter. has no equal
on the Pacific coast, and once
again he is fairly established here
will doubtless be oveTrun with
orders.
Year: 1873

CoLUlmuB,' O., May l9.-The dead
body Of Joseph HorSt, German oi
middle age, was found horribly rnangled,
on the Hooking Valley Railroad at State
street crossing this morning. The first
intImation that the brakeman had that
the train had run over Q man was the
finding OF q bloody coat clinging TO the
brake OF the car. Upon searching, 9
mans leg was found In one place, part ol
his head In another, and trunk OF his
body In q third place. 1t 10 supposed that
he laid down on the track and fell asleep,
Year: 1873

NEW CASTLE, May 17.-ThIs was
whipping day here, and two white and
five colored thieves received twenty
lashes each. One man stood In the pill.
lory an hour as part oil his sentence for
cutting his wife's throat.
Year: 1873

EARLY PorAroEs sor Coop ~ Tnn
SrRIN0. Our correspondents seems de-
termined 10 convict Ms Of error in recon-
mcnding the Early Rose and White Mon
itor as the two best potatoes. IL is graft
fying to US TO receive letters from our
readers. but We cannot pretend to answer
all letters relating to the above question.
We named these two kinds as having
done best for US. and not as being the
bes, for any or all localities. This cor
rcspondence seems to prove that the Early
Rose Is general favorite as an eahy po-
iato, but many seem to object to its quail
iiy when kept over until spring


This il the usual fault Of all early po-
rnec.. When good to use early in the
fall they are seldom fit to use late in the
season. This seems to be particularly the
case with that old favoritc the White
Sprout.


We have sometimes thought that this
vas sometimes due to the fac, that such
early potatoes as are not needed for early
use, ara allowed to remain too long in the
ground after the tops are dead. Thoy
should be dug and put away before the
vines are entirely dead, or their quality
will certainly suffer.


We have eaten Early Rose potatoes
which we're as good in the spring as when
dug in the fall, but not often.
Year: 1873

DEER PsowISG Some Of our agricul-
tural writers seem to have made deep cul-
ture their hobby, and as is usually tho
case with hobbies, have ridden little
blind. 1t will not do to fix a certain
depth for plowing all kinds Of soil or for
all crops. II will not DO for the farmer
who has surface -oil of only five inches,
to plow twelve nr even ten inches deep
without be can afford 10 wait five or six,
or even more J nrs for his crop. Nor
will it do, because somo in favored loca-
tions can raise better corn with four
inch furrow than with an eight inch one,
TO say that the shallowest iurrow is the
best. Each one must use his own judg-
msnt rs to what is best for his own par
,icular case, and not look to any general
rules.


On some Of the tulc lands in California,
tho depth Of the soil may be measured by
feet instead Of by inches, and on such
land We may practice deep plowing to the
fullest extent. On the other hand, we
have land on which system Of deep
plowng would be suicidal If We can
only devise some iml lcmen, by which the
soil to she depth Of foot can be thorough
ly stirred without reversing the surface
soil, wo can then lay down general rules
for deep culture, bu, not till then.
Year: 1873

SEED PorArogs 1t still seems to be a
disputed point in agriculture whether it is
necessary to usr large potatoes for seed, or
whether small ones will not do as we'll
As in many similar disputes, We imagine
the truth will be found in an intermediate
course. One Of our best potato crops was
from seed not larger than n walnut. and
yet We would not be willing to carry the
idea out for series Of years. and continue
to select small potatoes from the product
Of small ones for seed


Il is scarcely reasonable to suppose that
natures law, SO true in other cases, that
"likc produces like" should fail when ap-
piled to this crop. and tho fact that good
crops can be raised from small seed. does
not prove that small seed is best


We always prefer TO use good-sizcd
seed at least enough Of it to give us q
chance for similar seed next season and
then make out the remainder Of tho plot
with medium sized seed The mnin poin
Is to have a perfect and we'll shaped potato
and with proper management in good sol
. crop vii! follow.
Year: 1873

Day before yesterday a family who have
been living on the corner OF Twenty -irs,
street and Commercial avenue, moved oui
of the house. A young man by the name Of
Hiram Greenwald, who has been boarding
with them. and who was very sick with
pneumonia at the time the family moved
was left in e house, alone and unattended
His condition becoming known. he was yes,
,crdiy moved 10 the hospital at the expense
uf the county,
Year: 1873

meeting of colorcd mon wns hold in Now
York last evening to discuss the political policy
Of their race. They wero addressed by colorod
mon from Louisiana, who have aeon something
OF tho ills Of treating race as political divis-
ion but neither tho speakers nor tho audience
in thoir resolutions could riAo to higher than
partisan ground iu favor Of tho Republican
Year: 1873

CORRECT WAY TO SWEEP CARPET.-There are
three waJs TO sweep carpet-one right and two
wrong ways. One wrong way is to hold the
broom nearly in front Of the operator with the
handle inclined backward toward bin. then press
down as a forward thrust is given, aud thus leave
the heavier dirt half way cross the room while
the light particles are sent whirng about, cuser-
ing, as II settles, every Article o. turni ure.


Another wrong way to sweep a carpet is to
move the broom forward with heavy, drawing
stroke, By which the materi Il 10 be removed is
pressed into carpet rather tnsn worked gently
along on the surface. Ii ei'hr Of these wrong
ways Is adopted, the broom aiiI wear out the
carpet more than it is worn By the occupants Of
the dwelling. When sweeper collects dust
pan full OF the nap OF Ihs carpet every time it is
swept, new will soon be required. The
right way 10 sweep is TO incline the handle a
li!Ile onward then give light drawing stroke,
allowing toe broom TO scarcely touch the carpet.
Not one-haf the weight Of the broom should be
allowed to press Oh the carpet, as the dirt is
moved forward. lie, thediri be moved and rolled
along lightly.
Year: 1873

S-We rejoice to learn that man in Hi
nois has invented new button hole. We have
long felt that new button-hole was required
by our advanced civilization, and we are proud
that American ingenuity has at last supplied
it. 1t is interesting to conjecture if the invent
or simply patents the hole by itself. We would
like to see him walking down to Washington
with several hundred button-holes loose in his
pocket, none of them attached to the cloth. A
man might carry great many OF them, we
should think, and few hundred bung-holes
and post holes besides
Year: 1873

&g- A preacher in an Illinois town, while lay
ing the corner stone of his new church not long
since, said, 'lf boys and girls do their sparkling
at church, say amen to it. have daughter
whom cherish as the apple of my eye. When
she is of suitable age, had rather she should Q


courted in the house Of God than in theatre" /"
Year: 1873

A Fox TALE.-A quaint Scotch minister was
given somewhat to exaggeration in the pulpit.
His clerk reminded him of its ill-effects upon
the congregation. He replied that he was not
aware of it, and wished the clerk the next time
he did it to give cough by way of hint:


Soon after he was describing Simpsons ty-
ing the foxes tails together. He said, "The
foxes in those days were much longer than
ours and they had tails twenty fut long"
Year: 1873

A FERRY.-A ferry between Chester and
bridgeport is in contemplation aud there er, Is
naonIe over the river are verr anxious for more
rrspid communication with Chester but whether
they will endeayor to accomplish their desire by
generous subscriptions OF stock remains to Dc
seen. :. u - -,
oitement. by falling in fit frothing at the
month and rolling around over the ground;
some thought he had the Asatic cholera, and
some thought he was drunk The Doctor thought


RIDLEY PARK vs. CHEsTER.-It is said that the
officers of Ridley Park will soon have view and
present its advantages TO the railroad company
~ n terminus II Chester is to derive any al
vantage from this important matter, the ACTION
of its Council must be quick and earnest


IAuNoH.-A steam tug was launched from
Weidner's yard yesterday morning
Year: 1873

Tons OF RAIL TO MIE.-Railroad
men and iron dealers can ascertain the
number of tons of rails to mile by a
simple calculation. By multiplying the
weight of the rail per yard by II, and
dividing by 7, the correct number of
tons required to lay one mile of track is
correctly and quickly secured. AS an
example, take a rail an-,T weighing gbd thirty y
by 7-471 tons. The rule holds good
for iron of any weight, and is one OF
those singular mathematical workings
which puzzles us to know how they
were ever discovered.