Year: 1871

1HE LIFE INsUA.ncE MAN.
The following describes what nearly
every healthy American citizen has


had the misfortune to experience:


7His name was Benjamin Pc Gum.
He came around to my Office fourteen


times in one morning to see if he could
not induce me to take out q life insur-


ance policy in his company. He used
to waylay nae in the streets, atchurch,
| in. my own house, and bore me about


that policy. fl went to the opera,
Gum would buy the seat next to me,
and sit there the whole evening talk


ing about sudden death and the ad-
hvantages of the ten year plan. If l


got into street car, Gum would come


rushing in at the next corner, and sit
| by my side and drag out a lot of NOR


tality tables, and begin showing how


1 could beat his company out of a for
tune. If j sat down. to dinner in a


restaurant up would come Gum, and


seizing the chair next to me, he would
| tell cheering anecdote about man


who insured in his company for
| $4,000 only last week, and was buried


yesterday. IF I,attended the funeral


of departed friend, and wept as they


threw the earth upon his coffin, I
| would hear q whisper, and turning
around, there would be the indomita-


BILE Benjamin P. Gum, bursting to say I:
'"Poor Smith Knew him well. In
sured for ten thousand in our compa-
ny. Widow left in comfortable cir
cumstances. Let me take your name.


Shall? He followed me everywhere +:
until got so sick of Gums persecu-


tions that l left town suddenly one
evening, and hid myself in a secluded
country village, hoping to get rid of


him. At the end of.two weeks I re-
turned, reaching home at one in the
| morning. l had hardly got into bed
when there was q ring at the door
bell. II looked out. and there was
Gum, with another person. He asked
| if Mac .Adeler was at home. said I
was the man. Mr.. Gum then observ-


ed that he expected my return, and


thought he would call around about
that insurance policy. He said he had


the doctor with him, and if I would


come down he would take my name,
and have me examined Immediately.


i was too indignant to reply. Isl shut
the window with a slam, and went to


bed again. After breakfast in the
morning I opened the door, and there


was Gum sitting on the steps, with


his doctor, waiting for mel He had


been there all night. AS L came out,


they seized me and tried to undress


me. 1 retreated and locked myself
up in the garret, with orders to admit


nobody to the house until I came


down stairs. But Gum was not to be
,baffied. He rented the house next
door and stationed himself in the gar
ret adjoining mine. When he got fixed
he spent shis time pounding on the


partition, and crying: =" Halo, Adeler
| Adeler,, / say How about that policy.


Want to take it out now ?" And then
he would tell me some anecdotes about
men who were cut off Immediately
after paying the first premium. But
paid no attention to him, and made


no noise. Then he was silent for a


while. Suddenly, one morning, the
trap-door of my garret was wrenched
eff; and, upon looking up, saw Gum
with the doctor and crow-bar, and a


lot of edeath-rates. coming down the
ladder at me. / fled from the house
! to the presbyterian church close by.
and paid the sexton twenty dollars to-
I let me climb mp to the point of the
steepIe, and sit astride of the ball. q I
promised him twenty more if he


would exclude every body from the
| steeple for a week. Once safely on


the ball, three hundred feet from the


earth, / made myself comfortable with


the thought that had Gunn at a dis


advantage, and determined to beat


him if had to stay there a month
About an hour afterwards, while I


was looking at superb view of the


west, heard rustling on the other
side of the steeple. Hooked around,


and there was Benjamin P. Gum


creeping up the side Of that spire in o


balloon, in which was the doctor, with


the tabular estimates of the losses of
his company from the Tontine system.
As soon as Gum reached the ball he
threw his graphing iron into the


shingles of the steeple, and asked me
atwhat age my father died, and if any


of my aunts had consumption or liver
complaint. Without replying, l. slid


down the steeple to the ground, and


took the first train for the Mississippi


Valley. In two weeks was in Mex
leo. I determined to go to the interi-
or, and seek some elevated region


where no Gum would dare to come.
/ got on a mule and paid a guide to
lead meto the summit of Popocatepetl.


We arrived at the foot of the noun


tain at noon. We toiled upwards for
about four hours. just before reach
ing the top heard the sound of vol
ces, and upon reaching point of rock


who should L see but Benjamin P.


Gunn, seated on the very edge of the
crater, explaining the endowment plan
to his guide, and stupefying him with


a mortality table, while the doctor
had another guide few yards off, ex-
amining him to see if he was heaIthyI


Mr.. Gum arose and said he was glad


to see me, because now we could talk


over that business about the policy


without fear of interruption. In a
paroxysm of rage I pushed him back
ward into the crater, and he fell


thousand feet below with a thud. AS


he struck the bottom l heard q voice
screaming out something about g nom
forfeiture !" but there was q sudden
of the mountain, cloud


of smoke and I heard no more.
know It was wrong. L know l. had


no right to kill Gum in that manner,


but he forced me to do it in self de-
fence; and hope his awful fate will
be a warning to other agents who re-


main among u.s., .,yeqg .gt l.l


ai;t A REPREHENsIBLE HABIT. jar
Z There is no breach of that etiquette
which should be observed in public
places so reprehensible as that OF