Year: 1872

expedition into the interior of my head,


and / looked woefully haggard, es-


pecially as 1 had not been shaved for


five days. presented an appearance


that would have caused the heart of an


undertaken to bound with Joy. But


here came our next dilemma. How


reconcile these haggard features with a
figure somewhat inclined to portliness.
"There is no help for it but to strap you


in, old fellow" observed my friend OF


the footlights "you would never do
without" So ! was strapped in; and
for seven long mortal hours l endured
all the agonies of tight lacing. Then
came another trouble. We came to the
conclusion that my coat looked too neat
and tidy, although old. We proceeded
at once to remedy this fault. We slit
one sleeve for about eight inches over
the elbow, and sewed piece of old blue
cloth, as a patch, over the shoulder.
We then spread the coat out on the
floor and sprinkled it all over with
water, previous to beating the street
door-mat over it. We rubbed the dust
we'll into the web of the cloth. dried
the coat before the fire, and after beat
ing off the worst of the dust, we had as
shabby coat as any professional beggar
need desire. The pantaloons were also
improved by being put through pretty
much the same process, and we cut a
piece about two inches square from the
toe of one of the boots, putting piece
of dirty rag in the opening. l then ar
rayed myself, stuck some diachylon
plaster on my forehead, wound some
bandages of rags around my hand, put
on my hat, and taking an old stick to
lean trembliDgly on when opportunity
offered, [ stepped into the street from
the kitchen entrance.


My first impression on gaining the
street was that every one was staring at
me, whereas, in all probability, was
totally unnoticed. At one moment L
was half inclined to turn back and give
of an acquaintance coming down the
street. Here, thought /, is an opportu-
nifty to test my disguise without any
chance of annoyance should the fraud
be discovered. AS he passed me l
begged of him in feigned voice. He
looked me full in the face, muttered
something about being sorry that he
had no pennies in his pocket, and went
on in blissful ignorance as to my iden-
tity. This rencontre at once inspired
me with confidence, and l started up
University place, on my way to Union
square. At the corner of Union square
and Fourteenth street, a nice, kind
hearted looking old lady in deep mourn
ing gave me two cents. This was my
first haul. My prospects were decidedly
Frightening, and the dread of going
through the tight-lacing business, and
facing the fresh, nipping air to no pur-
pose, passed away. For, let me tell
you, my scanty clothing anything but
tended to keep up q desirable circula-
,f kl,ah
was all bare in front. My costume, too,
anything but fitted me; and 1 felt as
awkward as Sam Weller when he first
donned Mr.. Pickwick's livery.


1 turned down Fourteenth street,
and wended my painful way to Fifth
avenue with trembling steps. Near
Eighteenth street two young ladies
caught me up. l turned, and at once
saw that had an opportunity. The one
nearest me had very pretty-looking
face Her eye was tender and sympa-
thetic, and begged her to listen to ME
a moment. l told her long story of
how had just been discharged from
Bellevue Hospital, after a sojourn of
six weeks; that ] was still very weak,
and unable to work, and that had no
money to buy anything to eat. She
eyed me with a kindly gaze for a mo-
ment, took her purse out of her pocket
and handed me ten cents. But she did
more. She gave me a very useful
warming. For as they passed on, she
remarked to her companion, in suffi-
GENTLY loud tones for me to hear:


81 think that must be deserving
case didn't you notice how well the
poor man talked ?' All too we'll,
thought 1 to myself That may pass
muster with unsophisticated young la
dies of sympathetic tendencies, but it
won't do for the world in general.
must correct that.


A gentleman standing under the por-
tico of the Fifth Avenue Hotel gave me
a five cent piece, much to the disgust of
middle-aged gentleman who was
talking to him and who declared his
conviction that all beggars were frauds,
gave him look of panied, indignant
remonstrance, and resumed my mendi-
cant journeying; Between Twenty,
third street and Twenty fourth street /
met with very little success, and fam
cicd that l was eyed with suspicion
by the officer on beat. But at the cor
ner of Thirty fourth street 1 begged of
two elderly ladies, who were apparent
ly waiting for the car. One of them
gave me three and the other two cents.
passed down Thirty-fourth street to
Broadway, and turned once more in the
direction of the Fifth Avenue Hotel,
but only picked two or three cents
on the way. But was approaching
better cruising ground for beggars. Be-
tween Twenty-thiId street and Seven
teenth street, only six blocks, got
nineteen cents; very elegantly dressed
young lady contributed five, and a
sporting looking gentleman, who was
lounging in the doorway of Jerry
Thomas saloon, three of them. L
crossed over to Union square and sat
down on the edge of the basin of the
fountain. From my pocket 1 drew a
very stale crust of bread and commenc-
ed to nibble it, at the same time taking
off my hat and placing it on my knee.
This was a great card, for lady with
two little girls quietly and unostenta-
tiously dropped ten-cent stamp into
my hat without saying word. How
ever, l saw park officer approaching
me, and fearing that he might have seen
the lady's action, and might, in conse-
quence, be hard-hearted enough to in
terfere with me, L determined to take


time by the forelock, and not stand
upon the order of my going. pocket


ed my crust, put on my hat, and struck