smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1876

Bishop Whipple, Daniels, Howard


and Hinman, of the Sioux Commission,
returned to tie Red Cloud from the
Spotted Tail Agency yesterday evening,
They report that the council held by
them with the Spotted Tail Indians on
the preceding day was well attended,
but nothing was done beyond pre- sent
ing the propositions of the Government.
Tomorrow is the day set for the council
here, at which the commission hope to
receive an answer from Red Clouds
people to the propositions which were
presented here on the 7th.
Year: 1876

A plague of mice has appeared on sew
eral farms of Teviotdale. The farmers
club of the district lately appointed
committee to investigate the matter. On
some farms the mice have eaten thirty
per cent of the grass which should be
ready for the ewes, and in consequence
of the want of keep the ewes are in poor
condition, aud the lambs are perishing.
The mice, which are in millions, do not
in all respects resemble the house or the
ordinary field mouse; they are from
three to four inches long, with short,
stumpy tail, have bright piercing eyes,
and large ears almost level with the fur; /;
are brown colored on the back and ash
colored on the belly; and the stomachs
of the few that were captured contained
vegetable matter only. The Importance
of weasels and birds of p1ey is suggested
by the Scotsman as the best remedy for
the plague-which has been coming on
for the last five years-even though the
game should to some extent suffer.
Year: 1876

The Burlington HaoOkeye has the
following paragraph: 1t is coming time
for the newspapers of the republic to
TEEN with paragraphs containing the
effusive thanks of the editor to some
lady for beautiful bouquet which sheds
it's grateful aroma through his dreary
sanctum, lighting it up with bright
memories of the past that come and go
like the changing lights and shadows of
a phantasmagoria. Everybody knows it
is all lie, and in eighty-nine years ex-
perience we never saw but one bouquet
in an editorial room, and it was a couple
of prize turnips lying in the wood box,
but tho bouquet paragraph is always
good to fill up with and it is always
popular, especially with eallow editors.
Year: 1876

A printer sat in his Office chair, his
boots were patched and his coat thread
bare, while his face looked weary and
worn with care, while sadly thinking of
business debt, old Morpheus slowly
round him crept, and before he knew it
he soundly slept; and, sleeping, he
dreamed that he was dead, from trouble
and toll his spirit had fled, and that not
even a COW bell tolled, for the peaceful
rest of his COW hide sole. AS he wall
dered among the shades, that smoke and
scorch in lower Hades, he shortly OBJ
served an iron door, that creakingly
swung on hinges aiar, but the entrance
was closed by red-hot bar, and Satan
himself stood peeping out, and watch
ing for travellers thereabout, and thus
to the passing printer spoke, and with
growing voice the echoes woke: "Come
in, my dear, it shall cost you nothing
and never fear: thisi is the place where |
cook the ones who never pay their sub
scription sums, for though in life they
may escape, they will find when dead it
ia too late; will show the place where
[ melt them thin, with red-hot chains
and scraps of tin, and also where I comb
their heads with broken glass and melted
lead, and if of refreshments they only
thin , there's boiling water for them to
drink; there's the red-hot grindstone to
grind down his nose, and red-hot rings
to wear on his toes, and if they mention
they don't like fire, I'll sew up their
mouths with red-hot wire; and then,
dear sir, you should see them squirn
while l roll them over and cook to a
turn" With these last words. the
printer awoke, and thought it all prac-
tical joke; but still at times so real did
it seem, that he cannot believe it was all
a dream; and often he thinks with a
chuckle and grin, of the fate of those
who save their tin, and never pay the
,,nintnr
Year: 1876

"Dhrown himi"

 Itwas the quickest operation that I ever saw. simply saw a sudden flash in the air Of clubs, brickbats. fists. bead baskets. and mocassins-a single flash. and they all appeared to hit me at once and no two of them m the same place.

 The next instant the entire tribe was upon me. They tore all the clothes of of me; they broke all my arms and legs; they gave me thump that dented the top ot my head till it would hold coffee like saucer; and then to crown theirdisE graceful proceedings and add insult to in. jury they threw me over the Horseshoe Fall and I got vet. '

 About ninety-nine or a hundred feet from tho top the remains of my vest caught
Year: 1876

WHAT DOES IT AMOUNT To -Four
State elections have been held, thus far,
in this campaign: two in the North and
two in the South. Of these the Demo-
Gratis have carried the two Southern
States, and the Republicans the two
Northern ones. This result in all these
States is precisely what was predicted,
and conceded by one party to the other.
In all the tables Of estimates in refer
ence to the electoral votes, Arkansas
and Alabama were set down in the
Democratic column and Vermont and
Maine in the Republican column. The
status of these States has not been at all
changed or altered by the result Of their
recent elections. Then what has been
gained or lost by either party? Why.
beyond few hundred votes and the
election Of ; few local officers, just





nothing At all. These elections are
almost without any significant bearing
upon the approaching great battle. The
Dutch have taken Holland and the Eng
lish have captured England only this
and nothing more. Yetthe Republicans
are making as much to-do about the re-
suit in Maine. and blowing as strong
about the "onward march Of the Re-
publican column as if they had accom-
plished magnificent feat in saving their
two strongest positions from capture BY
the Democrats. Why, bless your sim
pie souls. the Democrats had no more
idea Of carrying those two Yankee States
than We have Of your Tit-Bird flying
off with Delaware next November If
either party has any cause for boasting.
or rejoicing, over the results thus far it
is the Democratic party The two
States that have gone Republican have
been doing it ever since the organization
Of that party. and they have become SO
accustomed to it that they don't know
any better. while those which the Dem
ocrats have carried. have only within i
very few years been wrested from the
grasp Of the other party. And in view
of the fact that the Republicans enfran-
chised the negroes with the expectation
that they would vste their [the Repub-
licans] ticket and thus give them pre-
ponderance in the Southern States and
thereby keep them in power and Office,
the victory Of the Democracy is all the
greater and more satisfactory.
Year: 1876

The month of October, one hundred
years ago, was one of anxious waiting
and suspense to the American army and
disappointment to the British. The
hope was lost on the part of the latter
that the campaign was to close the war /;
and the zeal with which the first events
of the struggle had infused the Ameri-
cans was fast diminishing !; indeed, it is
a source of wonder that the armies not
only kept up the semblance of
strength, but held their invaders at bay
during the whole month of October.
After succession of skirmishes General
Howe found, on the twenty eighth, the
American army so strongly posted near
White Plains that he declined to make
an attack and the decisive battle which
was to terminate the war was indefinite
ly postponed. The British contented
themselves with carrying an outpost on
Ohatterton hill, about mile from the
American camp. The main body of
Americans effected their retreat, and
the loss in killed and wounded on the
side of the Americans was reported at
less than hundred, that of the British
about twice that number. Waiting
three days for re-enforcements, General
Howe found, on the morning of the first
of November, that Washington had
withdrawn to a still stronger position,
relieved himself of his sick and wounded,
and strengthened his lines with in
trenchments. His position on rising
ground was unapproachable in front,
and he had so secured the passes that
he could not be attacked in flank. With
nothing to encourage the Americans on
land, October WITH essed sad check on
Lake Champlain. The feet which the
Americans had launched upon the
waters of the lake was totally lost after
prodigies of useless valor. In the south
west the efforts of misiudging loyalists
to arouse the Indians against the colon
lists, while it caused immediate suffer
ing, resulted in ultimate advantage to
the American cause. Besides the ineffi-
cient metHods under which the militia
were brought in the field, there were
iealousies among leading officers. The
commander-in-c chief had not the authori-
ty which his commission implied, and
which successful command demanded.
All, save to most sanguine or the igno-
rant, were inclined to despair, and we
in this jubilee month in 1876, can only
duly appreciate the present standing
of the United States by contrasting it
with the gloomy outlook one hundred
years ago,
Year: 1876

A short trip through Nicollet, Sibley,
and part of Brown counties has con-
vinced me, says a correspondent, that
the grasshopper question is of much
more serious Importance than our peo-
pie suppose. In drive of thirty miles
/ did not see furrow turned. Vacant
houses and deserted farms are not infre-
quent. Those who remain cannot posi-
bly, hold out much longer. Many of
them are actually facing starvation,
Unless change soon comes our western
counties must be depopulated. The
crisis is reached. Thepeople have strug
gled for their homes and farms during
the last four years of devastation by this
terrible scourge, but they cannot hold
out much longer. The issue is now posi-
tive, simple and well defined. Shall the
country be occupied by the people or
the grasshoppers They cannot both
inhabit the same country much longer.


If the greater part of the eggs de-
posted shall hatch out, there will be
grasshoppers enough to devour every
green thing in the State of Minnesota
next year. The deposit of eggs is prob
ably hundreds of times greater than it
has ever been before. If they shall de-
velop into full grown grassboppers, and
remain in the State, the result is fearful
tocontemplate. am satisfied that if a
universal raid were made upon them
wherever they are, Immediately upon
their beginning to hatch out, disaster
might be averted. But action must be
prompt and in every part of the region
infested. do not believe that men can
be driven out by grasshoppers, if a
combined effort is made with deter
mination to win.


Now, as to the theory of the eggs be-
ing destroyed by the red worm. in
vestigated this matter. and while it is
unquestionably true that the worm is at
work, yet at the present rate of destruc.
tion it will absolutely amount to nothing
at ALL For every egg destroyed there
will be thousand left, speaking within
bounds at that. So, too, some of the
eggs are rotting, but the decrease from
this cause will alone be infinitessimally
small in comparison with the whole num-
Der deposited.


It is possible that very unfavorable
weather in the spring might destroy and
prevent the eggs from Matching out. 1t
is also possible that favorable winds
might drive them away as soon as they
are able to fly, but these are eontingen-
cies that cannot be taken into account in
deciding the question "Men and
brethren, what shall we do to be saved ?"
Year: 1876

Cuba is cemetery for Spanish re-
cruits. Unlike Falstaffs ragged regi-
ment. who were good as food for pow
der, these poor boys who are enlisted in
Spain and shipped off to crush the in
surrection in Cuba are killed by the
diseases incidental to the country before
they have chance of facing the enemy.
The mortality is as great or perhaps
greater than that which cursed the
federal army on the peninsula. Malarial
fever "gathers them in" The official
records at Madrid and Havana may be
able to show how many stout fellows
have been swallowed in the swamps of
Cuba, but in no other way can the thou
sands of victims be told off. The Mad
rid government is evidently tired of
frittering away human life in this way.
Martinez Campos is appointed to COM
mand the army, and the order to fire is
to be given all along the line. Insur-
rection is to be wiped out. Campos has
only to give the order, and quick,
presto |! it is done. 1t is as easy as lying.
Sixteen Thousand troops from Madrid
are on the sea, and twenty-four thou
sand more are to follow, and with those
on the ground the spirit of free Cuba is
to be crushed. We have been hearing
this for years. Men have come and
men have gone back to Madrid, but the
war goes on. The insurgents have got
q commander who is never idle. His
name is Gen. Disease.
Year: 1876

The wall of the sick-room is pretty
important matter to the patient. II it
is covered with one of those dreadfully
variegated papers which, alas are re-
garded as ornamental, it will be found,
especially if the patient is suffering from
any disease in which there is abnormal
exaltation of the brain, that it is source
of great annoyance, and may even be
possibly injurious. For as his eyes run
over these pictures he will fancy he
sees images of various kinds, such
as angels and demons, alternating;
indeed, these figures will assume every
conceivable form, and he becomes
thoroughly worried in the attempt to
disentangle the confusion. The paper
covering the wall should have uniform
natural tint, such as light green, deli
cate buff, or very delicate slate color.
A light green, perhaps, is as agreeable
to the eyes as any color that can be Sc
lected, and it rests the eyes with a re-
freshing monotony. Such uniform
tint tends to healthy stupidity" and
thus leads to repose.
Year: 1876

The House murder trial suggests one
lesson to married couples to which we
draw their attention. IT is dangerous
to domestic peace, as we'll as the life of
each, for both husband and wife to keep
handy loaded revolvers, especially when
onnubial jars are frequent.
Year: 1876

The sudden death of Chief Justice
Il. w. GILrEN, on Saturday, is one of
the most sad and affective dispense
tions that has occurred to our COM
munity, although he had attained to
the advanced age of over three score
and ten, and we should have been pre-
pared for its reception at any time.
Within the last year and especially
since the loss of his wife, Judge GIL
PEN, had been frequently indesposed;
and du Jag November term 1874, did
not sit at all but had apparentlygained
considerable strength during the last
few months.


He was one of the most excellent
men. One 10 whom almost any gen
tleman, who had his acquaintance
might make free to go for advice
touching difficult matters, with GER
tainty of being welcomed and enter
tanned. He was of almost diminutive
stature, but with lion-like courage.
and energy equal to any encounter
Every difficulty in his path to the sue.
cessful attainment of the highest po-
sition in the difficult profession of the
law was overcome, and no man in the
State was his superior in jurisprudence.
And it is remarkable that he retained
all the accuteness and brilliancy of
mind until the very hour of his de-
cease. At the time that he was ap-
pointed, he was politically in sym
pathy with the Democratic Party, and
the GAZETTE used all the influence it
could bring to bear to secure his SER
vice as Chief Justice to the State. Gov.
Peter F. Causey was a staunch old line
Wing, elected by the American Party,
and although he had known Mr.. Gill
PIN for many years as Wing, hest.
tated now to go to the Democratic
ranks for Chief Justice. He finally
after many weeks consideration yield
ed to the dictates of duty, even against
the efforts of some of his own part,
friends. But we have the best authori
ty for here saying that Gov. Cause,
always felt cemmendable pride a
having given the appointment of Chief
Justice to the deceased, and so he fire.
quently expressed himself. In hi
personal relations and social qualities
the Chief Justice was fascinating: al
who knew him and conversed with
him learned to love him. He wa


cminently Christian in his views, ant
Ter many years the main dependenc,
of the Swedenbergan Church, not ia
from his residence, on the Avenue =
His death will bc greatly regretted


while his memory will long be cherish
ed amid wide circle of friends in nj
the walks of life.
Year: 1876

Would PAY HIS SHARE AT ONCE
Y esterdsy lady entered grocery store
on Broad street, where she found the
proprietor tanning himself with his hat,
and looking somewhat overcome with
heat.


Why, Mr., you look worried" "
says the, lady elevating her Eyeglasses
SO as to take close look.


Worried-the devil These intern
al careless clerks of mine are calculated
to worry any man."


Why, what's the matter ?" asked the
lady "anyone of your clerks absconded,
or have they made mistake and given
sixteen ounces for a pound ?"


mo, neither, madam, but worse than
that. While putting barrel Of molass-
es in the cellar, through their careless
ness, they let it drop, and out came the
head, and lost all Of the molasses. But"
he added, "some person will have to pay
for it,"


Later in the afternoon n six-year old
son of the lady came into the store and
said 4: "Pa want to know what his share
of that barrel of molasses is ?"


Z" Your father don't owe me nothing for
molasses," answered the merchant.


Well, dad said that your book GUS
toners would have to pay for the barrel
that busted, and he wants to know how
much his share is and he will send it
oyer,u
Year: 1876

Some months ago, q youth of this or
some other cities took fancy to q maid
en- fair, and began to be polite to her.
He met her when he could at parties
and that sort of thing, and occasionally
called to see her at home. She liked the
young man, and smiled sweetly when
his name was mentioned. He was Au-
gustus and she was Mary Jane. Angus
tus wasn't worth cent financially, but
he had capital hope that surpassed the
treasure of the Fourth National Bank.


Mary Jane had a father whose name
was Jones. He didn't fancy Augustus
and didn't like to have him spooning
around Mary Jane. But he was shrewd
and sensible old duffer, and he knew, if
be raised his voice in opposition, Mary
James liking would be strengthened into
regular red hot, diamond-pin, fat footed
love. So he kept still and pondered, and
then he hit on plan to smash the court
ship Of Augustus into smithereens.


At the boarding house where Angus
tus lived, there lived also two youths of
his age and sex, who were as full Of mis-
chief as caucus of seekers for Office.
So papa Jones went to them and unfolded
his plans, and offered them $40 apiece to
bring it to successful end. Within a
week they had the money, and this is
how they earned it.


Augustus was to call on his Mary Jane
that evening, so Of course he put on his
best clothes for the occasion. Half an
hour before he went to his room to dress
his friends went there and took his bes.
coat from the wardrobe. They ripped
open the lining between the shoulders
and put inside a couple of very thin
slices Of Limburger cheese. You know
what that is if you have any familiarity
with German beer halls.


Augustus dressed and started for old
Jones house. He changed his seat two
or three times in the street car, and, when
he reached the doorstep, he turned again
and again, like dog about 70 lie down /;
but twas no use.


He usually occupied seat on the sofa,
at Mary James side but that evening
she was inclined to dignity, and occupi-
an arm chair a couple of yards away.
She went twice out of the room 10 dip
her handkerchief in Cologne water, and
the second time she brought the bottle
and offered some to Augustus.


After he had gone home and changed
his clothes, one of the boys took him out
to walk while the other restored the coat
to its former condition. He examined it
very carefully before he went to bed,
and naturally discovered nothing wrong,
except scent of the roses which fingered
there still.


But when three evenings later, he
again visited Mary Jane, the trick was
repeated. Old Jones had taken care to
hide the cologne water and everything
of that character, so that the effects Of the
Linn burger could not be condoned The
fair maiden stood it for half an hour, then
she tainted and called for the old folks.
She was borne to her room and Angus
tus was sent home, Next morning he
received highly perfumed note white
rose was the ordor it exhaled), which
told him that for the future they haG bet
ter meet as friends only; and, the next
time she met him, she hoped it would be
in the open air, and she would try and
keep to the windward.
Year: 1876

UNPLEASANT SUsPICIeN.-An Iowa
newspaper tells story of a man in the
town where it is published, who stood
upon the cover of cistern to peep
through window into room where he
suspected some courting was going on,
and got ducking by the cover of the


cistern giving away, which resulted in
slight attack of the typhoid fever. In
the same number of his paper the editor
says, 1--WE had quite severe symptoms
Of typhoid fever last week." and rival
newspaper had the meanness to print
both paragraphs in such close proximity
as to suggest most unpleasant suspicious.
Year: 1876

IL unpleasant contrast to this is that
ingenious youth who traded on the van-
ty of the Brooklyntes to the tune of some
thousands of dollars. He prepared
gorgeous prospectus, announcing the
publication of an elite directory is,
IA directory in which only the residences
of the very first of the first families would
appear. He went, of course, to only the
lower, vulgar, rich families, and SO great
was their desire. to appear among the
nobs that he took in two dollars each
from them about as fast as he could get
in and ont of their houses. The police
got on bis track, and discovered that he
ha no office, no means of getting out a
directory, or anything else that the
'"hole thing was, in short, very neat
swindle. He had collected over three
ia II nd dollars.
Year: 1876

VARIOUS WAYS TO MAKE MONEY
A boy over in Brooklyn, whose parents
could not furnish him the kind of living
he wanted, conceived the idea of making
his own. How did he do it Easily
enough. He noticed that thousands of
people, tired of paying two or three
prices for gas, had thrown out their
meters and were using coal oil. The
youth knew from experience that the
care Of Goa oil, lamps was the greatest
nuisance in life, and he went to dozen
or more families and proposed to clean
trim and fill their lamps and keep them
in order, for ten cents per day. He
started with twenty, and in week had
SO many on his hands that be was COM
PEELED to take an assistant, and it went
on till he has now n score or two of boys
under wages, and is making great deal
of money.
Year: 1876

A COUNTRY girl near Utica mistook
the meaning Of a young man who was
looking up pickers for his fathers hop
yard, and when asked if she was engaged,
sweety said " Not yet, but always
thought it would be pleasant" The
young man rode homo quickly, and
dreamed all night Of breach of prom
ise trial"
Year: 1876

IT has been observed by frequenters Of
watering places that the female swimmer
never learns to use her legs as gracefully
as she does her arms. This fact should
be considered by the Strong-minded sis
terhood as natural proof that lovely wo-
mans mission is to embrace and not to
biol
Year: 1876

UP in Rutland, VT, man has just
had piece of window glass more than
two inches long taken from his leg, where
it had been for eighteen years. 1t may
be truly said that during that entire peri
cd he has never been absolutely free
from pane,
Year: 1876

CANTON, n. Y, Oct. 27.-The Republican
meeting here last night was a splendid success. The
County Courthouse was packed and hundreds of people
could not gain admitance. The speech by the Hon. L
Bradford Prince altogether the most eloquent and
effective Of the campaign In this section. He spoke
nearly two hours, holding the attention of the audience


great part OF whom had stand patiently throughout


The Boys in Blue made fine appearance The Gee Club
sang well Senator Princes speeches in this county
creating much enthusiasm. The Republicans Of ST.
Lawrence fully aroused and the party may count
an old fashioned majority from the OF silas Wright