Year: 1873




j. Alfred Brimmer, Esq. editor and
proprietor e the Morning Glory, having
observed the disposition of persons who
have been bereaved of their relatives TO
| give expression to their feelings in po-
etical form reflected that it might per-
haps be good thing TO introduce to his
paper department of obituary poetry.
He considered whether if, when a person
inserted fifty cents worth of dead notice,
the establishment should contribute gra-
tuitously half dollars worth OF NOR
tality stanzas, his paper would become
the most popular vehicle for the convey
ance of that peculiar form Of melan-
choly intelligt nee to the public. And
Mr.. Brimmer rightly estimated that, as
most newspaper readers seem to take a
deeper interest in such sepulchral news
than in information of any other kind,
the journal containing the largest supply
would consequently have the most sub.
scribers.


So Mr.. Brimmer determined that he
would, as an experiment at any rate, en-
gage an obituary poet for short time,
with the purpose TO give him permanent
employment if the plan seemed TO take
with the public. Accordingly he sent
for Mr. Remington OF, composer Of
verses who had frequently contributed to
the columns of the Morning Glory, poems
of what would have been considered by
fastidious student Of English literature
an appalling and revolutionary charac-
! ter.


Mr. Brimmer soon effected an arrange
ment with the bard, and it was arranged
that Mr.. OFT should take position in
the office for short time, and whenever
death notice arrived, he must immedi-
ately endeavor to grind out some verses
expressive of the situation.


You understand, Mr.. Oh" explained
Brimmer, that when the death of an
individual is announced, want you, as
it were, TO cheer the afflicted family with
the resources of your noble art. | wish
you to throw yourself, you may say, into
the situation, and to give them verse
or two about the corpse which will seem
to be the expression Of the emotion Of
the hearts of the living"


To Tighten the gloon, in certain
sense ?" said Mr. OFT.


Precisely; Tighten the gloom. Do
not mourn over the departed but rather
take Joyous view Of death, which, after
all, Mr.. OFT, is, as it were, but the en-
trance to a better life. Therefore, |
would advise you to touch the heart.
strings of the afflicted with a tender
hand, and endeavor, for instance, to di-
vert their minds from the tomb"


Refrain from despondency, suppose,
and lift their thoughts to-"


"Just so and at the same time COM
bine elevating sentiment with such prac-
ticai information as you can obtain from
the advertisement. Throw glamour of
poesy, for instance, over the common
place details of the everyday life of the
deceased. People are fond of minute de-
scription. Some facts useful for this pur-
pose may be obtained from the man who
brings the notice to the Office; others
you may readily supply from your mag
ination."


"PIl throw off stanzas," said Mr.. OFT,
Gin such manner that people will want
their friends to die for the sake of the
poetry"


But above all, continued the editor,
take bright view of the matter always.
Make thesunshineo smil es break through
the tempest of tears and if we don't
make the Morning Glory hum around
among the mcurners of this town, my
name is not Brimmer." :"


He was right it did hum.


The next day Remington OFT went on
duty, and Brimmer went down to the sea
shore for breath of fresh air. All
through the day death notices came
pouring in, and when one would reach
OFT he would seize it and study it up to
ascertain its particulars, Then he would
rush up stairs, lock himself in his room,
take down his rhyming dictionary, run
his fingers through his hair, and hack
away half an hour at piece of paper
until he considered that he had poetry
in shape which would make the striek-
en- family feel proud of the corpse. When
his days work was done, OFT went home
with the conviction that the Morning
Glory had finally robbed death of its
terrors, and made life comparatively val
ueless.


In the morning Mr.. OFT proceeded
calmly to the office, for the purpose of
embalming in sympathetic verses the
memories of their departed ones. As he
came near to the establishment he OBJ
served crowd of FIVE or six thousand
people in front of il, struggling to get in
at the door. Climbing a tree he over
looked the crowd, and could see within
the office the clerks selling papers as
fast as they could handle them, while
the mob pushed and iammed, and yell
ed, in frantic efforts to obtain copy
the presses in the cellar meanwhile clang-
ing away like mad. Upon the curb
stone in front of him there was q line
that stretched down the street for four
squares, each man engaged in reading
the paper with an earnestness that Mr..
OFT had never before seen displayed by
! the patrons of that sheet. The bard con
cluded that he had touched a sympa-
thetic chord in the popular heart, or
that an appalling disaster had occurred
( in some portion of the globe.


He went around to the back Of the
office and assembled to the editorial rooms.
As he approached the sanetum, loud
voices were heard within. Mr.. OFT de-
termined to ascertain the cause before en-
.ar;no, the office He obtained a chair.