Year: 1871

persplratlon started from my forehead in great
drops, Tor L felt my fingers slowly closing over
the delicate bird. Although made an attempt
greater than the racklng effort VIC sometimes
exert In the nightmare, L had nc power to re-
strain them. The canary f1uttered in nv CLASH
would have dropped it, would have shrieked
lot help, but my muscles, my voice, my body,
o0eyed me not, and my fingers, like the steady
working OF machinery, gradually frightened
their restless grasp In my agony the lines of
my face prOtruded like lines ofcordage heard
the trail bones breaking beneath the crushing
pressure, then my involuntary grip suddenly
relaxed, and the bird fell upon my knee, dead
and mangled


AT the same moment saw, through the open
door my little sister playing upon the grass
plat; and almost before was aware of moving.
or OF any voIltion, found myself walking rapid
ly toward her, while my fingers twitched with
convuIslve, clutchng movement. Good heav-
ems | already saw her face turn purple and
heard her graSping breath smothered by gurg
ling blood With this terrible picture before
my mental vision, my brain felt as if it would
burst Its bounds in the desperate but unavailing
effort | made to turn back, to fly from the spot
But could not command myself. In that mo-
! ment L endured suffering more intense than
language can describe Perhaps my strange
and wild appearance frightened the child for,
IN place OF holding out her arms to me, her
favorIte brother, she fed crying to the nurse,
VINO dld not observe my approach and carried
her into the house. Saved uncOnsciousv
saved-Saved from fate too terrible to con.
| template.


l Sankir sensible upon the ground, and, when
l recovered, found myself surrounded by my
family, each one applying some restorative, for
| had been in long and death-like swoon
Slowly but distinctly the recollection of the
events which had reduced me to this condition
presented themselves to my memory with all
their appalling horror, nearly depriving me
again of consciousness


! did not refer in any manner to the subject
which was also carefully avoided by all others
IN my presence, for fear that it might produce
renewed excitement, and my friends had no
suspicion OF the circumstances which brought
| It about. The bird was found dead upon the
tOor, and the family imagined that it had met
with some accident. They were evidently sur
prlsed, when the fact was communicated to me,
that l made no remarks, for they had anticipa-
ted an Outburst Of grief Grief! [ did not
suffer from griet grief was overpOwered by the
| horror that racked my brain-horror for the act
| committed, and the more fearful one which
had been so mercifully prevented | had
committed? No, it was not my mind or will
which had prompted my hand to do the deed.


was innocent, even though my fingers had
u
| trlghtful thought filled me with terror that
wrung my soul. pondered continually upon
1t. When might not this mysterious demon
again assert its evil control over me? Strange
as 1t may seem, | felt certain that it Was some
foreign agency knew not what--that master
ed my will, and not the result of my own intel
lect in a disOrdered condition.


The overpOwering dread of the future, of
what might happen, which took possession of
me, drove me to the decision of leaving home
as the best way of avoiding danger to my
friends. Perhaps, too, if my physical health
| became be''ar | might gain strength enough to
defy this internal power; for, as have said be-
fore, possessed a singular consciousness that,
1t could once successfully resist its prompt
Ings, my soul would be liberated from thraldom
| announced my determination of making a
journey, without any explanation of my sudden
change, and 1t was greeted with delight by my
friends and relatives, who were anxious to has
ten my departure while the humor was upon
me but they need not have feared any change
| OF purpose on my part, for | was haunted by
this terrible dread Of the future and | gladly
said farewell Tor time to my home and birth
place.


The incidents of travel and of new scenes
broke the mOnOtOny and dispelled to some de-
gree the gloom that had taken fast hold upon
me. In short period found myself rapidly
improving. Every week brought me an increase
of strength. and | suffered less frequently from
these trighttul attacks Although they occurred
at longer intervals than formerly, they seemed
to grow more severe in character the conflict
was fercer and my mind made more desper-
ate effort to gain the supremacy. My whole
frame would be racked by the intense struggle
which | constantly maintained, though con-
stantly vanqushed.


The increasing delight took in the beauties
Of nature, the continued exercises and excite
ment more frightened my countenance. | be-
gan to look forward to the time when my health
would be entirely restored, and my body and
mind be in unison. | did not hope vainly, for
the final conflict came, and with it g strange
termination Of my sufferings.


| L stood upon the side OF an eastern mountain.
Above my head vast rocks arose in solemn
grandeur, their SUBMITS lost in canopied msts
which, gray and clinging wrapped them in OBJ
| scurlty. Below great chaSm rent the noun
tain; yawnng, bOttomless gulf. While gaz
ed, awcd by the thought of Its mysterious
depths, where no human eye had seen, where
no human foot had trOd, ray of light strug-
gled IN and rested on gaunt trees, on snake-like
ferns, damp aud cold, that clung to its Shiny
sides, and on one pale flower which nodded
i'll the chill draught that came up, a pal pable
horror, from the olackness of darkness. | turn.
ed away. Near the western horizon dead
clouds were piled one above another, and their
heavy shadow lay brown and dark upon the
sullen earth. No wind stirred the forests, or
rustled their motionless leaves, and the awe of
the unbroken silence fell with dread oppres-
sion upon my heart.


Suddenly was seized by an ungovernable
desire to possess the fower-the colorless flow
er that hung far down in the death-damp of the
chasm. A freezing terror crept through my
blood as recognized this decree of will had
never been able to odisobey. felt myself crawl
ing closer to the verge of the precipice near.
er, yet nearer, until sat within the very jaw
of the savage gulf My feet dangled in the air,
and the ground quvered beneath my weight
The dead clouds heaved their death-like forms,
and wavered overhead. heard the rush of
subterranean waters sounding a muffled requi-
EN-. The sickly flower, with its long stem,
writhed and twisted like serpent stretching its