smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

The San Francisco Post tells the biggest
one yet. That paper gets it off in about the
following style:


Some three years ago lady in this city
paid visit to a family living in Oakland.
While there she went out with party on a
picnic in the vicinity of Lake Merritt. The
day was very warm, and, being thirsty, she
took a cup, dipped some water from the
lake and drank it, not thinking to examine


it before SO doing. She felt something 60
down her throat, bat, eapposing it to be a
piece of weed, troubled herself no more
about the matter A few hours afterward
she was seized with spasm, accompanied
by sickish feeling; remedies were applied
and for time gave relief, but only tempo
rarily Her sufcrings increased, and the
physicians of this city were appealed to in
vain None of them knew what allied her,
and the remedies prescribed naturally failed
to remove the complaint. In tis way three
years passed. The unfortunate woman, at
the end of this time, had become distended
to frightful size, as if from dropsy; che
was unable to follow her calling-a dress
maker-and looked only for death to ter
inmate her suherings. 1t happened, how
ever, that woman living near her on Pow
ell street, had just had child cured of tape
worm, and she consulted the tapeworm
doctor, and be treated her so that monster
was taken away from her. The creature
was horrible to a degree, and of the snake
species. 1t was at least thrty-six feet in
length, Of dirty white color, mottled with
brown. Its thickness in the middle was
equal to that of mans wrist, tapering
towards the ends to the size of a walking
stick. Its head was over eight inches long,
shaped ike ducks, the mouth extending
nearly the whole length; out of which a
long, black, bifurcated tongue protruded.
The creature was pointed, and showed
more elaborate structure than is common to
vermu found in the human intestines. The
c. eature frequently moved, and caused her
intense suffering. 1t at times emitted a
low 0oaking sound, which in some respects
was more terrible to hear than the anguish
caused by its movements. She is now in
fair way of recovery, and will soon be
able to enter heartily into the pleasures of


life. Her waist at the time she called on
the doctor measured six feet three inches in
circumference; now something within the
natural proportion.
Year: 1873

The Bulletin thinks that great many
people, without reference to party, would
like to see Andy johnson back to the U.
S. Senate. 1t says:


He is honest. He is opposed to all job
bing schemes. He would fight all manner
of corrupt grabs and unclean combinations
to the bitter end. He is moreover a good
hater, and would make it hot for certain
Senator's whose virtue is not above suspi-
con. He would undoubtedly disgust many
by his arrogance and egotism, but would
prove on the whole one of those counter
irants grevious to bear, but wholesome in
effect.


This is the man, and the kind of man,
the Bulletin and its class wanted impeached
when he was President, because he fought
against corruption and wrong.
Year: 1873

MOVING THE CALF.-The Ne,cs says a
Danbury young man who was once clerk
lately went on farm to work. The first
night in his new position he was detailed to
remove a calf from the apartment of its
parent to shed. and while engaged, as
thousands have been before him, IN showing
the contrary beast along, the mother reached
under the tails of his coat with her horns,
and suddenly lifted him up against the roof
of the building that threatened to shatter
every bone in his body. The first thing he
did on returning to earth was to rub himself;
the next thing was to throw up his place.
He said he didn't doubt that agriculture
was noble pursuit, and that the farmer
needed an assistant in the discharge of his
multifarious duties, but be didn't believe he
was designed for making sky-lights in cow
sheds.
Year: 1873

The editor Of the Johnstown. pa. DEM
ocrat was sitting at his desk the other day
when a young man sprung at him with the
remark, 81 want to be an editor. Jusl
give me chance. The editor, ever ready
to encourage youthful genius, handed owe,
stack Of paper, and told the young mar
to give him specimen of his ability. The
young aspirant mused an hour and produced
the following: "Our young ladies are never
behind the fashion, but the fashions at pres
ent are very much behind the young ladies,
although they do hump awfally to keeT
ahead" He'was taken to the the editor
bosom at once, and engaged at 81 so q
week.
Year: 1873

A DEFENSE OF BUsTLEs.-"B Arp"
the Southern humorist, defends the ladies
on the hustle question. He says:


It's all sham, that rubber hustle; there
amt no substance or backbone in it. I've
seen them fiat and seen them blowed up.
There amt bit of harm in them, but
never sec one on a woman that don't want
to hit it just hard enough to make it pop.
golly! wouldn't she jump high and holler
But I'm not going to do it,; no sir; I've got
too much respect for women. Their bustles
don't hurt anybody; and do despise to be
always picking at woman's close. If they
didn't wear something to disguise EN-, the
men would quit business when they cum
about. Purity women always did wear
something to skeer the men away. It's
been so forever.


If they do lean little as they go, it's
alright. They can slraighten up when it is
necessary. No spinal disease about that
Them's the very sort that can lift two bush
els of wheat without cracking a bone. Its
only passing fashuu, and it will last until
something else comes along. Nature made
'em that way, and you can't change it.
The more You try, the more you can't. The
more you abuse their bustles, the more
they'll stick them at you---so let them
alone, say.


They are all the same about the fashions
and the last one would put them on if they
had their own say and plenty of money.
wish was just rich enough to Civ,
every lady in the lond string of diamonds
and a handful of pearls. Good gracious
how quickly that Methodist discipline would
be busted on the .jeweler business


Well | do like to see them look pretty
and so far as am concerned, if ribbons and
hounces and furs will help to do it, it's al
right Some of the birds are dressed mighty
fine, and reckon their pride amt much of q
sin, either. But understand me, Mark,
don't banker after bustles, though they dc
say it makes the incest little shelf for th,
arm to rest on in the world, when fellow
is dancing around with his gal. That's al
right, provided the fellow amt dancing with
my gal. If he is, why he may take her ant
keep her, that's all.
Year: 1873

If the Administration and Congress
. were possessed of sound economical
ideas, great good might be worked out
Of the evil which they have brought
upon the country. But they seem
hopelessly given over to the policy OF
temporary expedients and permanent
extravagance Increased taxation and
imitation of the currency are to take the
place of rigorous retrenchment and a
pure currency. The people are COM
PEELED to retrench, but the Government
refuses to follow suit. Our exports are
increasing, our imports are decreasing.
This is a healthy indication, SO far as
the country at large is concerned. But
a reduction in imports causes a reduc-
ton in customs revenues. The Admin
istration cannot tolerate this diminu-
ton in its funds, and so it threatens a
policy which shall renew the evils of
the past, and restore taxes which have
been abolished. Whereas, if 1t would
reduce expenditures to the lowest pos
sible point, legitimate industry would
be benefited, and moonshine projects
only would suffer.


The exports of domestic produce at
the port of New York during the
month of November, for three years,
exhibit the following gratifying i'm
Year: 1873

States.


From the Cincfnnati Commercial.


WASHINGTON, Dee. 22.-In the case
of Wilson VS.. The City Bank of st.
Paul, Minnesota, g very important de-
cision was made by Mr.. Justice Miller,
which the Court in his opinion, says is
not in accordance with the decisions Of
most of the District Judges. The case
was this: Vanderhoof Brothers became
embarrassed and unable to pay their
debts. The bank sued them on a note
previously given, took a Judgment by
default, took out execution, and levied
on their stock of goods. At the time
the action was brought both the bank
and it's debtors knew they were insol-
vent, and had committed an act of
bankruptcy. After the Judgment and
levy another creditor, Wilson" COM
menced proceedings in bankruptcy
against the same debtors, and they
were adjudged bankrupts before the
same, and the assignee claimed the
goods thus levied upon, insisting tat
the debtors in allowing Judgment to go
against them by default were guilty of
fraud upon the bankrupt law, and of
preferring the bank as creditor.


On the trial the following questions
arose, in relation to which the Judges
were opposed in opinion. First =
Whether or not an intent on the part
of said debtors, Vandelhoof Bros, to
suffer their property to be taken on levy
process, to-vrit; the said execution with
intent to give preference to said bank,
or with intent thereby to defeat or de-
lay the operation of the Bankrupt Act,
can be inferred from the foregoing
facts. Second Whether under said
facts, the said bank, in obtaining said
Judgment and making the said levy,
had reasonable cause to believe that a
fraud on the Bankrupt Act was intend
ed. Third-W Whether. under said facts,
the bank obtained by the levy of its
execution valid lien on the said goods
as against the assignee in bankruptcy.


The Supreme Court answers the first
two queries in the negative. and the
third IN the affirmative, and in an elab-
crate opinion holds that the debtors
were under no moral or legal obligation
to defend the action brought by the
bank, and were under no obligation to
go into voluntary bankruptcy to pre-
vent the bank from gaining a prefer
ence over the other creditors, andthat
the bank was guilty of no violation of
or fraud upon the bankruptcy law, in
bringing the action and obtaining the
Judgment fairly, had secured valid
lien on the goods taken in execution
with which the assignee could not in
terfere, and was only entitled to the
surplus after paying the bank debt
This settles an important question
which has long vexed the Courts and
Year: 1873

Max Adler says: owe are engaged
now in developing a scheme for
growing kid gloves upon the original
animal. Our old friend, Darwin,
teaches Us that you can do almost
anything with breeds by judicious
selection and we are convinced
that, with a little care, it will not be
impossible to produce beast whose
skin when stripped off viii make a
seamless kid glove. Our first expe
riments are with lizards. A lizard
has four legs and a tail Now, we
believe that eventually the off fore
leg can be developed into a thumb,
while the three other legs and the
tail can be arranged as fingers. We
are crossing lizards with short tails
with those oflong legs; and we are
now looking around for a variety of
lizard with q button or two on its
neck, for the'purpose of breeding it
in with the others. The ultimate re-
suit promises to be startling. It will
break up the old glove trade and
drive Jouvin to suicide. Thus is it
that human ingenuity advances hui
man civilization"
Year: 1873

The National Division of the Sons of
Temperance held three days session in
New York city last week. A large portion
of the time was spent in considering the in
ternal affairs of the Order. In the matter
of the formation of National Division for
British North America, it was resolved to
refer the subject to a committee of dele
gates from the several Grand Divisions of
the Provinces. A resolution was passed
providing for a National Division in Aus
tralia. After a warm discussion, the follow
ing resolutions were adopted:


WHEREAS, The experience of over thirty
years as Sons of Temperance has convinced
us that moral suasion alone is inadequate to
stay the tide of intemperance and, where
as, the liquor traffic is not only a moral but
also political evil, requiring moral and
political action to subdue it, therefore,


ReSotued, That without wishing to inter-
fere with private opinions, this National
Division recommend all members of our
Order to combine and express their wishes
at the ballot box, for the purpose of suppress
ing the traffic in Intoxicating liquors.


An effort was made by few to strike out
the words combine and, but it failed. II
is stated to be the intention of the Order,
in the spirit of this resolution, to unite
with one of the great political organizations
to secure the passage of prohibitory laws
The next meeting is to be held in Ottawa,
Canada, on the third Wednesday in June,
1874.
Year: 1873

In the course of lecture on solar
phenomena, delivered on Thursday
evening by Prof. Draper, before the
University of New York, the speaker
said: "There is one reflection con-
nected with these solar eruptions
that has dire interest for us. If it
be true, and there seems to be no
doubt about the fact, that these
streams of intensely heated hydrogen
can be elected from the body of the
sun with velocity which, if it endur-
ed, would bring that breadth of fire
to our earth, and in a few hours, what
would be the effect of an eruption on
larger scale? What would happen
to men and animals if an explosion
as general as that in T. Corona Bor-
calls took place in our sun? In May,
1866, that star, which is usually in
visible to the naked eye, suddenly
famed up till it was as bright as a
star of the second magnitude When
examined by Miller and Huggins it
was found to be enveloped by pro-
digious atmosphere. In few days
it dwindled away and sank to its
former insignifcance.


But what must have been the fate
of animated beings on the surround
ing planets, if any such there were?
They were undoubtedly consumed at
once and utterly dissipated. Who
shall say that our sun, which is star,
will not do the same tomorrow, or
the next day, and thus the dread pre-
diction of the Scriptures be realized
at any moment? Most assuredly we
have no guarantee to the contrary,
and can only comfort ourselves with
the reflection that While hydrogen Is
certainly there, and also an awful
store of force to heat and project it,
yet such convulsions are rare in the
order of nature, and, therefore, the
world may outlast our time. Never
theless, both astronomy and geology
inform us that there have been per-
iods of great variation in the heat
giving power of our sun, and we may
well be disquieted at the possible ap-
proach of time when "the heavens
shall pass away with a great noise,
the elements shall melt with fervent
heat, and the earth also, and the
works that are therein shall be burn
ed up"
Year: 1873

The British Medical journal calls
attention to them easures recommend
ed by the Council of Hygiene of Bor
deaux aux for better protection of the
people against the dangers of Hy-
drophobia. 'It is well understood
that the madness of dogs has peri
cd which is premonitory and harm
less. Ifthese period swere generally
known, the dogs could be put out of
the way before they become danger
GUS. A short time, sometimes two
days, after madness has seized dog,
it creates symptoms in the animal
which it is indispensable to recognize.
There is agitation and restlessness,
and the dog turns himself continual
ly in his kennel. If he be at liberty,
he goes and comes and seems to be
seeking something when he remains
motionless, as if waiting; then starts,
bites the air as if he would catch
fly and dashes himself, howling and
barking, against the wall The voice
of his master qissipates these halluci-
nations; the dog obeys, but slowly,
withregret. He does not try to bite;
he is gentle, even affectionate, and he
eats and drinks but gnaws the litter,
the ends of curtains, the padding of
cushions, the coverlids of beds, the
carpet and similar articles. By the
movement of his paws about the sides
Of his open mouth, one might think he
was trying to free his throat of a
bone. His voice undergoes such a
change that it is impossible not to be
struck with it. The dog begins to
fight with other dogs; this is deci-
dedly characteristic sign, if the dog
be generally peaceful The three
symptoms last mentinoed indicate an
advanced period of disease, and that
the dog may become dangerous at
any moment, if immediate measures
are not taken. It is best to chain
him up, or better still, to kill him,
The Boston Medical and Surgical
Journal suggests that this advice
should be inserted at least once a
year in the public papers.
Year: 1873

A series of lectures on Mr.. Oar
wins philosophy of language has re-
Gently been delivered by Professor
Max Muller, the philologist. He
maintains that there is one great diff
Guilty in the way of the theory that
man is the genealogical descendant
of some lower animal. Between the
whole animal kingdom on one side,
and man even in his lowest state on
the other, there is barrier which no
animal has ever crossed, and that
barrier is language. 1t is true that
one form of language, the emotional
such as cries-is common to ami
mails and men, but rational speech is
the prerogative of man alone. The
use of emotional language is not un-
frequently retained by those whom
disease of the brain has deprived OF
power of rational speech. The roots
of words, said the lecturer, are ou1
oldest title deeds as rational beings,
while no trace of them, or anything
corresponding to them, has ever beer
discovered among even the most ad
vanced of apes.
Year: 1873

A very touching case of mental al
ienation in charming young lady is
described by q careful observer.
Not long ago her mother found her
in her room energetically darning,
stockings, and soon after she appear
ed in the kitchen and assisted that
wondering dame in making and bak-
ing pastry. Alarmed by these fear
full signs of intellectual disorder, her
fond parents Immediately sent for a
skillful physician, who watched her
through keyhole while she sewed
buttons on her fathers garments and
mended those of her little brother.
Much affected, the venerable man re-
marked that never during q medical
practice OF twenty-five years, had he
known any young person to manifest
such symptoms as these. The most
heart-rending phase of all, however,
was shown the other day when her
kind father, with faint hope of rous-
ing her from her sad state, gave her
two hundred dollars and told her to
buy new dress. Alas twas use
less. She instantly observed that
she did't need new dress, and if
he would let her keep S25 to pay
poor widows rent she'd much rather
he would keep the rest of the money
himself. For a few moments that
grief-stricken old gentleman gazed
upon his hapless child, then hiding
his face muttered between his sobs,
"Her mind is gone! Her mind is
gone !"
Year: 1873

A clergyman was recently annoyed by
people talking and giggling. He paused,
looked at the disturbers, and said: 1 am
always afraid to reprove those who misbe-
have, for this reason: F.: Some years since,
as L was preaching, a young man who sat
before me was constantly laughing, talking
and making uneouth grilnaces. Ipaused
and administered a severe rebuke. After
the close of the service gentleman said to
me: ''Sir, you have made great mistake.
That young man was an idiot" Since that
1 have always been afraid to reprove those
who misbehave in church lest l should re-
peat that mistake and reprove another idiot.
During the rest of the service there was
good order.
Year: 1873

There is no feature of our school
system so vital to its success as that
which places at the door of every
school room a Board of Examiners to
determine who is qualified to enter
as a teacher and guide of youth.
They are the sentries of the school
system, and upon their fidelity and
efficiency depend, to great extent,
its character and usefulness. No 9th
er school officers need a truer con-
ception of their duties, or more ar
dent devotion to the cause of educa-
tion.-TO. Ed. Monthly.
Year: 1873

True wisdom is thing very extra
ordinary. Happy are they who have
it, and next to them, not those many
who think they have it, but those few
who are sensible of their own defects
and imperfections, and know that they
have it not TTillotson.
Year: 1873

The California war on the Chinese
does not get much sympathy any
where. The truth is, it has cost this
Nation nearly a million of lives and
two thousand millions of treasure to
square her acts and institutions with
the Declaration of Independence, and
she does not propose to make a fool
of herslef over a few thousand in
offensive Asiatics.- New York
Graphic.
Year: 1873

Although men are accused for not
knowing their own weakness, yet per-
haps as few know their own strength.
It is in men as in soils, where some
times there is a vein of gold which
the owner knows not Of Swift.
Year: 1873

Men plant prayers and endeayors,
and go next day looking to see if they
have borne graces. Now God does
not send graces as he sends light
and rain but they are wrought in us
through long days of discipline and
growth.
Year: 1873

I got into the cars and took seat
in iuxtaposition to female. That
females face was a perfect insurance
company for her. It insured her
against ever getting married to any
body except blind man. Her mouth
looked like crack in a dried lemon,
and there was no more expression in
her lace than there is in cup Of cold
custlrd. She appeared as if she had
been through one famine, and got
about two-thirds through another
She was old enough to be great
grandmother to Mary that had lit
tie lamb. She was chewing prize
pop corn, and carried in her hand a
yellow rose, while bandbox and a
cotton umbrella nestled sweetly by
her side. [ couldn't guess whether
she was on mission of charity or
going West to start q mill. l was
full of curiosity to hear her speak, SO
Isaid: 'The exigencies of the time
require great circumspection in a per
son who is travelling" Says she,
"What?" Says I, The orb of day
shines resplendentin the vault above.
She hitched around uneasy like, then
raised her umbrella and said, Il
don't want any of your sass-git out!
And I got out.
Year: 1873

The new law in Illinois doing away
discrimination as to sex in the elec-
ton OF appointment of school officers
took effect July 1. At that time all
distinctions OF or on account Of sex,
so far as eligibility to any school in
the State is concerned, ceased to
eyiSt
Year: 1873

An old minister the other day asked a
woman what could be done to induce her
husband to attend church. 81 don't know, "
she replied, ''unless you were to put pipe
and jug of whisky in the pew"
Year: 1873

The personnel of the late Jesse R.
Grant is thus described: Large
framed, massive and before age had
bent his form, like Saul, head and
shoulders above his brethren, moving
along with an abstracted air, and tax
ing little or no note of the curious
gaze that scrutinized him as he pass
ed. There was that about the square
set features, and in the firm lines of
the mouth, which impressed one with
a sense of real power in the man, and
made one look a second time and
closer at him. The head was large
.and set upon stout, broad pair of
shoulders. The face was as clearly OF
the Scotch type as the granite of the
Aberdeen Hills, and as firm and reso-
Lutte The forehead was broad and
massive the eyes cold, clear and gray,
with wise, deliberate expression in
them, and no more likely to betray
the feelings Of the man than the
strong lined and decided mouth.