smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

ing that maiden ladies, or eligible ladies of your age have had for the opposite sex, which has caused them (and perhaps you, fruitful season of tears and sleepless nights by some vision of beautiful stran- ger, or some equal to him of your own ac- 9ualntance: with srotless linen, lavender kids and necktie, also a blonde moustache ct makes my heart ache to see so many of my sex led astray by these maidens.) Soon they will deplore the past, condemn the present. and see the future fraught with fearful apprehensions and forebodings. Then they will sec their duck of a wife with duck of a bonnet and all thelr earn lngs placed upon their pretty person prom enading the streets, while they, poor souls, are laboring from early morn until night with their devotional joints protruding from their pants. If we could read their thoughts, or if they would speak them to us they would say,

 what thou vast, my fancy made thee,

 What thou art, I find too late.''

 ms IS not poetry, but bitter truth, extort- eo from many whom bitter experience has taught. This IS why prefer single bles- sedness and why Jack would not eat his supper; this too is the cause of so many ot our sex striking the balance in favor of single bessedness. We bachelors have found lcng ago That the bark of man alone can navigate the sea of life; and gain the coast of bliss securely" This IS why old Reynard refuses the grapes. Please accept my many thanks for your kindness in trying to enlg hten me, also for those lines reminding me there was s'still as good fish in the sea as ever was caught" But as am rot f1shmonger. and hope that "A Maiden will always remember,

 That no fish like yours my pretty maiden,

 If caught, would suit man like me-

 So many men with the kind are laden,

 While l, Bachelor, Esq. am free

 Ore Hill, Get. 7th, 1873.
Year: 1873

10 A. MnSden."-MR EDITOR. I saw in the columns of your very readable paper of the 3d inst, a reply to my article of the week previous, by "A Maiden," asking 8 few questions and lamenting the condition that she as well as many others of the sex are placed in, and have not the honor they have long sought for, that is, in placing Mrs. to their name. am very sorry for her, that she too has been left to battle with this cold unfriendly world or as she calls it, vale of tears. To please her, ack- nvWledge tEat have been enlightened by her. l never expected to see or hear of one of her class who would own she was maiden, (of course not an old one). That she is candidate for matrimony or elope- ment there can be no doubt. l will now answer her questions and suppositons. In the first place my dear Maiden, I have nev- CT had the mittep given me, either in my younger days, or since I reached the mature age of AZ. But had it been thus, would even fondly cherish the memory of her, who prevented me from being bound by the chain of matrimony, which is as strong as iron and as galling as despair never have been troubled with the sort of hanker-
Year: 1873

LEFT BETWEEN SUNS els. Haug, who kept r
beer saloon at No. west 9th street left for
parts unknown sometime after midnight last
light, taking with him all his personal effects
ana stock OF liquors. This morning, some friend
to whom he had sold the articles went in and
took away Lis bagatele table and counter.
Year: 1873

and make note of the quantity, quality and
price.


Goods retailcd as heretofore ut q fraction only
above wholesale figures. This can be readily
done, as the extra discounts of manufacturers
and importers are in many instances quite large


Ny stock is now full and complete in all de-
partments, and the wants of every one can be
supplied.


Fortunately for myself and customers, chronic
croakers have no influence in these quarters,
and shall continue to oppose any combination
to maintain extortonary prices


Thanking my customers and friends both in
and out of the city for their liberal patronage,
confidence and influence during the past seven
years, I hereby further assure them that in the
future as in the past shall exert mysetto lnsin-
tain stock of goods that will do credit to Alex
andria and continue to attract trade from al! the
surrounding country.


m- During the approaching sea:on other De-
partments will be added to stock, each OF which
will be complete in every particular.


mS-Goods wholesaled a. prices a: low as any
iobbing house in New York.
Year: 1873

As George w. Young, a clerk employed on
Pier No. O. N X, was passing Ann-st and Broadway,
yesterday, ho noticed man who apparently very
unlucky every one he met ran against him. Mr.


Young that the man was approaching him, and
endeavored 70 avoid the unhappy stranger The stran


ger however, again unfortunate, and Mr. Young
found himself almost ohoked by the pressure upon
throat VI the name left arm, and became conscious that
somebody dragging his watch cut OF his wastcoat
pocket M Young instantly raised his right arm
Year: 1873

In regard 10 the impending strike various opinions are
expressed in the furniture trade Many believe that It
will come and preparing to relieve themselves IN
various ways Others want 1t to come they will be
relieved ~ this way OF heavy burden they claim 10
have operated Their establishments through the Winter
AZ sacrbce 10 themselves OIber manufacturer claim
that business has been extremely dali and will
Year: 1873

A novel battle is reported from Far
Rockaway, Long Island. A school of
drumiish were chased into shallow water
by school of porpoisss The drumish
tried their best to get away, but the
porpoises pursued them so hotly that a
number Of the former were driven
ashore. The people of the hotel were
awakened by great splashing and
noise somewhat similar to that of a
frightened hog. Looking out of the win
dows they saw the perpoises striking the
drumfish with their tails. Soon after the
porpoises turned and left. The porters
at the hotel and some of the fishermen
secured with boat hooks about twenty
Eve drumhsh, and large number were
left floating around Jamaica bay. The
drumfish secured weighed from thirty to
seventy pounds each. ofi
Year: 1873

The proprietor of this celebrated medicine justly
claims for 1t a superiority over all remedies
ever offered to the public for the safe certain spec
DIV and permanent cure Of Ague and Fever, or
Chills and Fever whether Of short or long stand
ing. He refers TO the entire Western and South
ern country to bear him testimony TO the truth of
the assertion that III no case whatever will it fail
to cure If the directions are strictly followed and
carried out In great many cases single dose
has been sufficient for cure, and whole families
have been cured by single bottle, with perfect
restoration of the general health. 1t Is. however,
prudent and in every case more certain Of cure, il
its use Is continued in smaller doses for week or
two after the disease has been checked, more es
pecially in difficult and long standing cases Usu-
ally this medicine will not require any aid to keeF
the bowels in good order Should the patient
however. require q cathartc medicine, after having
taken three or four doses of the tonic, singl'
dose Of Bulrs Vegetable Family Pills will be suhi
cient-
Year: 1873

To make hens lay-Tie their legs
together so they can't stand up.


If Heaven helps those who help
themselves, how well thieves must get
along!


A Western paper has this delicate
personal item: "Those who know nice
old Mr.. Wilson of this place personally,
will regret to hear that he was assault
ed in a brutal manner last week, but
was not killed"


An orator, getting warmed with his
subject, exclaimed, "There is not
man, woman, or child in the house, who
has arrived at the age of fifty years. but
what has felt this truth laundering
though their minds for centuries.


A would be author was advised to
try the effect of one of his compositions
on the folks at home without confess
sing its authorship. His mother fell
asleep, his sister groaned, his brother
asked him to shut up, as they had had
quite enough of shower of words with
out wit, and at last his wife tapped
him upon the shoulder, with the sweet
est possible "Won't that dos" He
then saw how it was himself, buried his
portfolio, recovered his digestion, and
has been happy man ever since.


For the genuine spirit of Christian
meekness commend us to the old lady
of New Haven, who entered the sanct-
uary last Sunday and disappeared sud
denly through hole cut for the regis
ter of a new furnace and carelessly left
uncovered. She brought up among the
rubbish in the cellar but slightly dam
aged, and humbly apologized under the
impression that her weight had made
the ugly hole in the floor.


Max Adeler says they tell a story
about man who put the saddle hind
part foremost upon his horse while in a
condition of dizziness, superinduced by
fre-water. Just as he was about to
mount, a German friend who came up
told him to hold on a minute, because
the saddle was wrong and wanted re-
fixing. The horseman gazed for mo-
ment at the intruder, as if in deep
thought, and then said: "You let that
saddle alone. How in thunder do you
know which way l am going:" And
the gentleman from Germany passed on


The combination exhibited in first
class woman lecturer is somewhat curl
Gus to student of such things. A
Massachusetts paper says: "In person
Miss Stanton is graceful and attractive,
and her finely cut features express a
broad culture no less than keen analy-
sis of character, joined to the poetic
tenderness of true woman. She was
dressed in elegant black velvet with
white satin trimmings, and wore a
beautiful necklace of pearls Suppose
we were to treat male lecturers in the
same way. In person Mr.. Phillips is
dignifed and manly, and his elegantly
carved countenance indicates deep
thought and sharp analysis of men
and things, joined to the prosy rough
ness of a genuine man. He was dress
ed in English broadcloth with velvet
collar to his coat, and wore lovely
gold watch and chain.
Year: 1873

RECEIPT FOR GROWING FAT-Go to
bed at half-past eight or nine and don't
be in hurry about getting up in the
morning. On going to bed and on get
ting up in the morning, drink as much
cold water as you can swallow. Soon
you will learn to drink two tumblers :;
and some persons may learn to drink
still more. Drink all that your stomach
will bear. Spend good deal of time in
the open air without hard exercise, but
exposed to the sun. If practicable, ride
in a carriage some hours every day. Re-
main out enough to give you good ap-
petite, but don't work hard enough to
produce excessive perspiration Eat a
great deal of oatmeal porridge, cracked
wheat, Graham mush, baked sweet ap-
pies, roasted and boiled beef, though
the vegetable part is more fattening than
the animal part. Lie down an hour in
the middle of the day, just before you
take your dinner, to rest, and, if possi-
bic, take a little nap. Cultivate Jolly
people. Laugh and grow fat /" rests
upon sound physiological basis. A
pleasant flow of the social spirit, is a
great prompter of digestion. Keep your
skin clean, sleep in a room where the
sun shines, keep everything sweet and
clean and fresh about your bed sleep
nine, if possible ten, hours in twenty
four, eat as you have been told, cultivate
the Jolly spirit, and in six months you
Will be as plump as you could wish.
Year: 1873

Coal AsHEs.-As an absorbent, dry coal
ashes are equal to dry earth, and much more
convenient. Every family that has patch
of land big enough to swing cat in, should
make it rich by having hogshead where a
bushel or two of coal ashes are thrown in as
basis. Into it pour all the foul water of
the family, and throw in the dry ashes of
each day. Twice year upset this recep-
tacle and spread the contents over the gar
den, and spade it in before the ammonia
escapes.
Year: 1873

CARE OF THE FEET Concerning this
very important subject, the Scientific
american truly says Many are care
less in the keeping of their feet If they
wash them once week they think they
are doing well. They do not consider
that the largest pores of the body are sit
uated in the feet, and that the most Of
fensive matter is discharged from these
pores. They wear stockings from the
beginning to the end of the week with
out change, which become completely
saturated with offensive matter.


Ill health is generated by such treat
ment of the feet. The pores are not re-
pellants, but absorbents, and this fetid
matter, to greater or less extent, is ta-
ken back into the system. The feet
should be washed every day with pure
water, and the stockings should not be
worn more than day or two at time.
Year: 1873

tFrom the Danbury News Mans Almanac for 1874 :


L shall not say anything here about the impor.
tance Of this subject


We all know how unbearable society wonld ba
without it; how tame and commDnplace would
become heaven and earth in its absence


merely wish to call the attention Of the read.
er to the care that has been taken in selecting
the weather for this book


Being warned by last season, | have put in
plenty Of rain, which will be found to arrive lust
In the nick Of time.


have dealt lightly in thunder storrns-I find
they are not popular-and l have such an anti
pathy to hghtnlng-rOd men that lose no oppor-
tunity to lnjnre them,


have been rather liberal with snow. for the
sake OF the young and livery STABLES, and have
put In some extraordinary hail, for the encour-
Agement of the Oldest iIhabitant, and little
FROST to stir up the amateur in tobacco and other
varieties of cabbage.


But accuracy is the strong point of tho vol
ume When it says "Lopk out for rain" then
is the time for you to hump yourself for the
house' And when it says Frost, any delay in
getting your wifes fathers coat over the toma-
toes and dahllas will provo eminently disastrous
TO those articles. Yet have aimed to be accur-
ate, looking more to tho personal comfort and
general information Of my patrons than to the
PiauditH OF wicked world and gold, which per-
lshes in day, am tol 1.


have not lost sight Of the fact that have a
formidable and unscrupnlous opposition at Wash
in8toh. But trusting to an honest purpose,
discriminating public, and eight years of prom
lscuous trusting az the editor Of a country news
paper shall press steadily on, and hurt that
Washington chap.
Year: 1873

On Monday the voters Of this county
are to choose ten commissioners to man
sge the fiscal affairs Of the county and O
Judge for the dispensstlon of justice
therein. Isince the fees OF justices
have been cut down to such starvation
rates, few will be found to exercise their
functions, and the business before the
county court will be much greater thar
it would have been If the recent law to
kill of the justices had not been passed
This county court will be the most i'm
portant tribunal with which our people
will have to deal. It's expected that the
Municipal Court will soon be abolished
1t will be only superauity after the
County Court is established. The Mayor
ought to hold police court and be paid a
small salary. At least $l,5OO of the sala'
ry now paid to the Judge Of the Munlci'
pal Court could thus be saved towards
paying the salary ot the County Judge,


What we set out to say, though, is that
II it were possible the best member OF
the Wheeling bar should be put into this
iudgeship. The place ought to be filled
with flrstclass man. Unfortunately,
the salary will not command one; and we
have to choose between such as seek the
place at the salary attached. So far as
numbers is concerned there is no lack Of
choice; and as to material, there is also
a good deal of variety.


five were TO otter advice to the disen-
terested citizen whose only interest is in
having capable and honest man in the
place, it would be to vote for the candi-
date you think best meets these require
ments whether he be a Democrat or Re.
publican. The same test, as we have
heretofore said, ought to govern the selec-
ton Of Commissioners. There is no
politics in any of these places. 1t Is worse
than folly in filling such offices to vote
against pure and fit man because he be-
longs to the opposite political party or to
vote for o knave or incompetent solely
because he belongs to your own. We
have had enough of that kind ofVotlng in
tho last few years, and enough Of the un-
toward consequences in the mismanage-
ment and petty plumber that have char
actized local administration.
Year: 1873

Sole Agent for W. A. ALIENS PATENT KIND
paper


The wood is all dried In Kilns and is perfectly
dry and free from knots Families will find It very
economical Try 1t and be convinced. Also wold
by the barrel. ONCE and Yard,


mar21 .6m WEST AND WATER STREETS.
Year: 1873

waited on her with their own hands for
| Jesus sake, then, indeed, she did belieYs
| there was a Jesus, and that Christian I
did love one another Now, Sue, would
never dare to stay away when she needed
me, after that. Think of the harm [
might do any one already so sore at
heart"


Miss .Nettire WINGED. She felt the
gaze of the angel fixed on her with a
look of solemn inquiry,


'And about the Flannel Society,""
continued Mrs. Goreout II was absent
from that too. 1t was the only day Ia
the week on which / could take old Mrs
Bathersby and Miss Simcox to drive, and
they have grown TO count so on that
weekly ride! They have so little plea
sure; and though they pinch and save
every cent just TO live, they are so proud,
il is the only thing l dare offer them.
They like the change; and they like,
too, to have the carriage draw up in
front of their door Their poor. poverty
hunted souls shake off their bondage.
and you can feel that pleasant sense OF
ease and importance is warming them
through every fiber, as they chat with
me and lean back on the cushions in an
elegant manner. 1t is pure selfshness,
suppose, on my part. These are good
women, and if the cup of cold water ia
not to be forgotten, i suppose even such
trifle as this will bring its blessings"


"And the silk and velvet" qGeried SUI
san. IF meat makes my brother TO Of
fend, / will eat no meat while the world
stands, you know. And your dress does
offend Miss Nettire." 4"


eyes, ! know but howl if eating no
meat would offend a weaker brother yet
mere? ?" said Mrs. Goreout, gravely Il
like to look nice, and yet l do suppose L
should have no right to trip Miss Nettire
with my fashions if it were not for
Frank. He declares that my good spir-
its and tasteful dress are the best argu-
ments he has ever heard in favor Of re-
ligion and that he can have confidence
in piety that does not consist chiefly in
asceticism, but does everything as to
God, even rejoicing and looking lovely.
Miss Nettire does not need me as much
Frank. Her conversion is not at stake,
while my influence over Frank depends
very much on such trivial matters. Bot
know what can do. try to be bet
ter friends with Miss Nettire. / fancy
we haye none Of us enough of what
Rosa calls love charity for her We
think too much Of the prickles and not
enough Of the real goodness in her char
acter."


Miss Nettire gasped. From the SOL
emn, benignant presence near her, some
thing like a halo seemed TO shine about
Mrs. Goreout. A great sob came chok-
ing into the spinster's throat


$50 back, she said huskily, - to Sally
Nettire's house. She is the sinner whom
H. a..
arouse all my righteous wrath. be-
lieve now, if we could bat know all,
there are few for whom there Is not
some palliation, and no case in which wa
can he certain of judging righteous
Judgment, and that is why God forbade
US in our blindness TO judge at all |
could get over the rest, but to think that
such a butterfly as Maria Goreout
should be doing things for Jesus sake. I
am going home TO pray not to be judged
as have judged others"
Year: 1873

The following was received from
Washington yesterday: "In the Senate
the House amendment to the Geneva
award bill was noncOncurred IN. The
Committee on Transportation Routes
was directed to inquire into the propriety
Of building a railroad from the seaboard
to the Mississippi and Missouri rivers.
The bill was passed extending the
time for the completion OF the
st. Paul and Pacific railroad. Ten
thousand dollars were appropriated
for the Pomeroy investigation. The
House bill to carry into effect the fishery
clause of the Treaty of Washington was
passed. A bill passed for the relief Of
the Customhouse officers at Chicago.
The Utah bill was discussed.
Year: 1873

Few additional details can be obtained in
regard to the case Of Superintendent Knapp OF the
newspaper department Of the post-ofce. The special
agents have suspended their labors but will
them in q few days. The amount of the deficit is said
to be very small and it is yet TO be decided whether
there is any fraud. superintendent Knapp denies all
guilt arms that his books and accounts are correct
and appears daily at the post-offce.
Year: 1873

the men are through their days work they
60 home. step into the bath, change al
their clothes, and send the soiled ones
down an elevator to the cellar, where the
washing is done by steam They receive
clean clothes every day The men are not
allowed to treat each other, as that causes
too much drinking. They are compelled to
pay cash for all drinks but coffee, II they
take that they can have it for nothing
Year: 1873

Don't invest all your money in lottery
tickets. Give somebody eloe chance
to draw prize.


Don't whittle pine boxes for living.
1t blister's ones hands so badly.


Don't loaf about the streets and de-
pend upon the Lord for your "daily
bread" He is MT running bakery.


Don't spend all your time in watching
your neighbors. Every man should be
selfish enough to devote few minutes
to his own business.


Don't Try to win reputation for bra
very by lighting the tiger" Any boy
can throw chips.


Don't imagine that the lord will call a
frst-class preacher to a church paying a
second-class salary. He don't treat his
servants so shabbily.


Don't measure man by the length Of
bis purse. Captain Kidd was wealthy.


Don't disturb hornets nest. You'll
only receive a singing rebuke for your
paias.


Don't tell anybody else how to man.
age his business. Let the poor fool find
out himself


Don't borrow one dollar unless you
have two to loan. For one good turn
will call for another.
Year: 1873

A MAN died short time ago in St.
Louis and left four thousand dollars to a
priest for the purpose of having him say
mass for his soul. The relatives of the
dead man though, the money could be
placed where it could do more good, and
they accordingly brought suit for the
same. The matter having come before
the court for adjudication, the Judge
decided that such bequest was uncon-
stitutional.
Year: 1873

The singular circumstances connected
with the death of the wife of Thomas
Ferguson, of Cleveland, Ohio, are thus
narrated by the Herald of that city
"About 7o'clock Wednesday morning
Mrs. Ferguson went to the house of her
brother-in-law, near by, on an errand
Coming out of the house to return home
she was followed by small pet dog be-
longing to her brother-in law. One of
the dog-killers employed by the city
was making crusade in that neighbor-
hood, and catching sight of this little
animal went for it. Mrs. Ferguson
called the dog to her, in order to save
him from the slayer. The latter, who
was but few PAGES from her, raised
his gun and aimed at the dog beside
her. The woman saw the weapon point
ed, as it seemed to her, directly toward
her, and supposing it would be dis
charged, she screamed with fright and
ran home. On entering the house she
sank upon the floor, pale and trembling
violently. She was barely able to tell
her husband the cause of her fright,
and soon afterward was seized with
severe convulsions. These continued
throughout that and the following day.
In spite of all that medical skill could
do, she sank rapidly, and died between
4 and 5 o'clock Thursday afternoon.
The deceased was twenty-one years OF
age, and had been married five months.
She had been in good health, and no
other cause than that given above can
be assigned for her death. We could
not learn the name of the man whose
criminal carelessness, in his greed to
obtain the paltry sum paid for killing
dogs, caused this sad Bereavement. He
was violating the dog ordinance, which
provides that all shooting of dogs must
be done before the hour of o'clock, in
the morning, for the express purpose
of avoiding the danger to persons on
the street"