smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

While there are about ten thousand men
Gyho think they know all about the per
petual motion principle, it is safe to say
that here is not solitary soul in this uni
gerse who can explain why railroad en-
gineer blows his whistle as he shoots by a
passenger train. People who have popped
up from their seats and clutched their
scalps on these occasions are somewhat in
terested in an explanation.
Year: 1873

General Sheldon, member Of Congress


from the second district, will please accept
our thanks for copy of the second volume
of the Ninth Census Report, embracing
vital statistics. 1t is an invaluable work,
which will be found useful to the statist Tor
Year: 1873

As soon as considerable number of the
police had been sent abroad in the inter-
ests of peace and good order,'a pncard
was paraded before the doors of new
journal that has recently been established
calling for grand rally of the mob. 1t
was supposed that the cae being away the
rats might play little. But for some
reason the rats did not feel in playful
mood, and as but few Of the genuine
rodents put in an appearance the meeting
was adjourned till later houro Thus
chivalry, instigated by the carpet-baggers,
endeavors to override defenseless people
as sson as their proper guardians are
thought to be out Of sighso
Year: 1873

last year and two years ago, in speeches


which were published. 1 have seen no


reason to change the opinions then held


and do not care to repeat them here.


In conclusion, permit me to say, the
fight this fall is no boys play. The
Democrats will all vote at the next elec-
ton; and their hope is that by our To-
cal differences here and there and our
over-confidence, they may profit to the
extent of being able to secure the next
Legislature. They do not expect to
carry the State ticket, and care but very
little about it. Their candidate for
Governor was nominated because he
was the friend of Allen G.. Thurman,
not because they wanted or expected
him to be Governor. If all who de-
sire the success of the Republican cause
will work and vote, our State ticket
will have handsome majority on the
End Tuesday of October, and the Legis-
lature will be ours. To secure success
we must have organization and labor
and apathy would be fatal.


Thanking the Republicans of Ohio
for the support heretofore given to me,
look forward with confidence to the
result of this campaign.
Year: 1873

Mr.. Gobleigh, of Nelson St., bought
three hens, Saturday night, and put
them under box until he could build
a coop. Sunday morning he saw one
OF them in the street, and bestowing a
brief curse on the somebody who had
overturned the box and jeopardized his
property, he started out after ito drive
it back into the yard. 1t took fifteen
minutes TO convince him that that hen
could not be driven into that yard, and
then he attempted to catch it. Three
times he rose up with his hands full Of
feathers, and his chin full Of sand, but
still that hen eluded him. Once he got
it cOrnered, and thought sure he had it
but it flew straight up over his head and
tapped its wings in his face, and filled
his eyes with dust. o, how mad Mr..
Gobleigh was. 1t was Sunday morning.
The bells were ringing, people were
starting to church, and there he was in
the street, with no coat, or hat on, and
with nothing but slippers on his feet,
and every once in while one of them
would come off and fly through the air,
and his naked foot would come in con-
tact with the cruel gravel, before he
could stop himself. Then he would
have to hop back on one foot after that
slipper, while the hen stood on the walk
and elocuted and the little Sunday
school children stopped and laughed,
and their parents approved them and
laughed, too. Finally the hen got
away from him and started down street
at wonderful speed for hen, and he
started after her, his face redder than
ever, and every time he cleared a rod ,he
would stop and hop back after one of
those slippers. When he reached the
corner of Essex street, he jumped out of
both slippers at once, but instead OF
stopping to go back, he picked up stick
of wood and kept on. Then as the hen
lodged into gateway he hurled the
stick, and broke the leg of a strange dog
which added its piercing "kiyi," to the
entertainment. But Cobleigh didn't
stop. Ho tore into the yard after his
property, in his bare feet, and chased
his hen into wood-piIe and caught it,
just as the owner of the premises came
out and wanted to know what Cobleigh
was going to do with his hen, and what
he meant, anyway, getting drunk and
kicking up such hullabaloo in a peace
full neighborhood. Cobleigh first
thought he would knock the man down
with an AK, and what he could not eat
of him bury him under the barn, but
the newcomer succeeded in proving
to Cobleigh that the hen was his, and
then the miserable man burst into
tears, and limped back home, where he
found the three hens under the box.
Year: 1873

Politicians have looked with more or
less concern upon the organization of
farmers clubs in the Western States,
lest by some possibility they may here
after be used for or against some aspir-
ing statesman. 1 am free to say can
see no reason why such associations
should not be formed. We have legal
and medical, ministerial and trade as
sociations, and why not farmers as
well? L have confidence that the agri-
culturists are rs sensible as other peo-
pie, and do not believe they can be
used by designing men for personal
ends, or for any purpose other than for
their own and the public good. Worthy
and reputable public men need not fear
their influence. If only bad men are
retired by their action, no harm will
be done. By well organized and pro-
per associations, intelligent farmers
can impart valuable information to
their neighbors. When any important
interest requires an advocate, the ablest
representative can be selected to present
the case. There is no reason why such
organizations should degenerate into
political machines, any more than in
the case of lawyers, doctors and clergy
men. The farmers and mechanics of
Ohio will soon have their own college,
open and free to all, where their sons
can be educated for lives of usefulness
either for the occupations of their faith
ers, or for any other honorable avoca-
cation in life. As the means of knowl-
dege multiply, we hope and believe the
standard of intelligence will be elevat-
ed, and that prosperity and happiness
will abound in proportion to the privi-
leges enjoyed.


1t is gratifying to know that the value
of farming lands in Ohio has increased
more than two hundred per cent. in the
last ten years. The value of farm pro-
ducts amounts to 5000, 100000 annually.
l see it estimated that ut present one
half the amount raised is exported
bringing return to the farmer of about
seven per cent. on his investment, ex-
Year: 1873

We have always labored under the i'm
preston that the only individuals who
ever reversed the old saw: Necessity Is
the mother of invention, and made it read
Invention is the mother Of necessity, T"
were those infatuated geniuses who too
often squander their worldly goods in fruit
less efforts to carry out lmpracticable
schemes. We have been mistaken, for we
have encountered one of those instances in
which the inventor, after having worked


out his machine, to his satisfaction, in his
brain, discovered himself placed by his in
vention in dire necessity for material for
its physical embodiment. He was not a
landsman, afflicted with chronic impecuni-
osity, but sailor, and an officer Of cruis-
ing whaler His device, which, by the
way, is quite an ingenious machine, for
cutting up blubber as it comes from the
animal, necesstated the employment Of
many cog wheels and other gear, for which,
ordinarily, metal would be employed. But
at sea one cannot carry foundry, and be-
sides, no iron OF steel was to be had and
even if it were, no tools were probably at
hand to get it in shape. Finally, after
sundry trials, the huge bones Of the whale
were thought Of, and from these harder
and stronger than ivory, by the aid Of a
common lathe and a few chisels, a number
of cog and bevel wheels, rods, etc, were
made, which, for accuracy ami neatness Of
execution, will compare favorably with the
work Of many professional model makers.


The model, thus Iugeniously constructed,
was brought to this Office few days since,
and letters patent applied for on the de-
vice II affords fresh evidence Of that
persevering energy which is inherent to all
inventors, and besides, proves that a mind
capable Of conceiving useful and valuable
idea is never at loss to devise means,
even from the most slender and least
promising Of resources, for carrying the
same into execution s Scientific Ameyicdn.
Year: 1873

Spain are acceptable as he admits them to De, but
which may render II impossible for the govern
And the threat is only too likely to appear
the more marked in Spanish eyes wnen IN the
couples an ostentatious assurance OF amicable
feeling towards spain with the statement ne tnat the
tna hirh seas had produced an universal outburst
OF indign alton, threatening war, and that he had
authorized an expenditure on the navy to the
united States are not prepared tor war, as is ad-
mitted by Americans themselves This tone, then,


"A unworthy OF soldier like General Grant, and its
only result can be to embarrass Senior CASTELAR,
and to throw obstacles In the way OF the ADJUST
ment which is necessary to the interests OF both
natOna
Year: 1873




You can always tell a boy whose
mother cuts his hair. Not because the
edges of it look as if they had been
chewed off by an absent-minded horse,
but you tell it by the way he steps on
the street, and wriggles his shoulders.
When, a fond mother has to cut her
boys hair, she is careful to guard
against any annoyance and muss by lay
ing sheet on the carpet. 1t has never
vet occurred to her to sit him over
bare floor, and put the sheet around his
neck. Then she draws the front hair
over his eyes and leaves it there while
she cuts that which is at the back. The
hair which lies over his eyes appears to
be surcharged with electric needles,
and that which is silently dropping
down nnder his shirt-band appears to
be on FIRE. She has uncOnciOusly con-
tinued to push his head forward until
his nose presses his breast, and is too
busily engaged to notice the sufing
sound that is becoming alarmingly fre-
uuent. In the meantime he is sIezed
with an irresistible desire to blow his
nose, but recolIects that his handker-
chief is in the other room. Then a fly
lights on his nose, and does it so unex-
Dectedly that he involUntarialy lodges,
and catches the point of the shears in
his left ear. At this he commences to
cry and wishes he was a man. But his
mother doesn't notice him. She merely
hits him on the other ear, to inspire
him with confidence, and goes on with
the work When she is through, she
holds his jacket collar back from his
neck, and with her mouth blows the
short bits of hair from the top of his
head down his back. He calls her at
tention to this fact, but she looks for a
new place on his head and hits him
there, and asks him why he didn't use
his handkerchief. Then he takes his
awfully disfgured head to the mirror
and looks at it. and, young as he is,
! shudders as he thinks of what the boys
on the street viii say.
Year: 1873




There was much more than a mere
witticism q the remark of the old
bachelor who paid attentions to a mai
den lady for twenty years, visiting her
regularly every night, when rallied for
not marrying eff I were married I
should have nobody to court, and no
place to go at night" He had deeply
felt the contrast between his own deli
cate and ethereal enjoyments, and the
hard, discontented, fretted life of too
many married people; and his answer
was irony. He saw there was some
thing in courtship which too often ex-
pires after marriage, leaving a cold,
dull, monotonous burden where all was
beauty and buoyancy before.


Let us see what that something is :
In courtship nothing is taken for gran
ted. Both parties are put on their good
behavior. Love keeps itself fresh and
active by constant expression in word
and act. But strange to say, courting
usually ends with marriage. Very soon
both parties yield to the sense of pos
session, and the feeling of security robs
gallantry of motive and extracts the
poetry from the mind. The beautiful
attentions which were so pleasing be-
fore marriage, are too often forgotten
afterwards the gifts cease, or only come
with the asking the music dies out of
the voice, everything is taken for gran
ted, and the love that, like the silver
jet of the fountain, leaped to heaven,
denied it's natural outlet, ceases to flow
altogether. Then comes dull, heavy,
hard days, with two unhappily tied to-
gether and wishing themselves apart
not always content with merely wish
ing.


This is unnatural and wrong. What
marriage wants to give it new tone and
sweetness, is more of the manner as
well as the spirit of the courtship
which come from the constant attention
of the parties to each other. Their
affection voices itself in all possible
ways, every sentence is edged with
compliment and spoken in tender tones.
Every look is a confession. Every act
is a word IN the exhaustless vocabulary
of love. Kiss and caress are paren-
thetic clauses and gestures in the dia-
Iect of love; gifts and sacrifices are the
most empathetic expressions of the
spirit no language can fully articulate
and no devotion can declare. And it is
the fact that affection confesses itself
continually in look and word and act,
making the voice musical and the fin
gers poetic in their touch and doing,
that makes experience so beautiful, the
only Eden many woman ever has on
earth.


Love must have expression or it will
die. It can be kept forever beautiful
and blessed, as at the first, by giving it
constant utterance in word and act.
The more it is allowed to flow out in
delicate attention and noble service,
the stronger and more satisfying, and
more blessed it will be. The house be-
comes home only when love drops its
heavenly mamma IN it every day, and
the true marriage vow is made not
once for all at the altar, but by loving
words, and hopeful service, and delicate
attentions to the end.
Year: 1873

The pencil marks you see around this
paragraph Cthus) mean that your sub
scriptior is out or unpaid, and that
you are requested to pay up at once.
We would take great pleasure in extend
ing credit to our friends and patrons,
but cash alone will pay expenses, and
we are forced to adhere to a strict cash
rule. We hope you VIII comprehend
and appreciate the necessity Of such =
course, and renew your subscription
without delay. We solicit your favor.


q We enter no new names on our
books without the money in advI'. .ce-
Year: 1873

Notes from the DRnbury News Mans
TraVeis-Denver and Elsewhere.


In Kansas City they speak of Denver
as fourishing hamlet, and then shrug
their shoulders. In Denver they think
that Kansas City would be a passabIe
place if it was on earth.


The favorite expression here is "in
time" Such ''town will in time be a
big city" Such a ''man viii in time
make fortune" Aud so on. In time y
is the popular qualifer used in every
connection.


They tell me here that grave-yards
are not needed for residents; they are
merely Iaid-out as an act of courtesy to
visitors. This intelligence affected me
very much, and visibly shortened my
stay In Denver. Kindness always did
overcome me.


We passed a number of settlements
on the line of the Kansas Pacific. They
were in fourishing condition, and am
ply provided with printing offices and
churches, but I would bave freely
traded them all for one buffalo. 1t is
an awful thing to want to see a buffalo
and not see it.


The markets of Denver are superior,
the saloons are elegant, and in one of
these places are billiard tables, which
are pronounced by people who know to
be equal to anything in New York. To
see shirt-sleeved miners and buIl-whack-
ers punch balls over these tables is next
in impressiveness to the eternal
SHOWS"


We found the populations of the
cities at the depots. The men were
whiting, not slashing off chips as you
see in the east, but softly tapering down
the stick, lovingly fondling it like a
man would do if he was whiting off
the end of his nose. Only the wealthy
whittle, anyway, because timber is
scarce.


These are admirable grazing lands. I
did not see cattle on a thousand hills,
but saw a thousand cattle on no hill.
Herd after herd we passed as we
whirled along, and attending them were
rough-Iooking men on horses. Men
who have been idealized In novels, only
in novels they are known as rangers,
but here they are simply denominated
bull-wbackers.


IF you come across any statements in
this letter that appear to be rather figu-
rative, so to speak, you must remember
that the letter IS written on the cars
while in motion, which are apt to make
the soundest statements and the most
awful truths appear yague-like. The
motion of running train is uncertain.
I start to give some facts which would
make a river open its mouth, when a
sudden move sends the pencil out of the
golden realms of truth into the obscene
atmosphere of levity. wish now that [
had written this pamphlet at the hotel,
because Denver is most delicate sub
jeet to handle under the most favorable
circumstances.


P. ST may be mistaken, but I feel
certain that a careful survey of the
above letter will not reveal the least
reference to the Pixies Peak and Longs
Peak as being so far distant and yet so
wonderfully discernible from Denver
I am the only writer who has performed
this feat, and I feel proportionateIy
proud of it, but I should hardly at
tempt it again.
Year: 1873

THE cynic of the st. Louis Democrat
says: The clerks IN the new Grand
Pacific hotel of Chicago have not had
charge of the cash drawer long enough
yet to sport diamonds, but one wears
the bottom of beer glass set in silver
on his bosom, and the other, the night
clerk, has small bull's-eye lantern set
in his shirt front with a revolving light. y
Year: 1873

RETIRING FROM BUSINESS. Dlo
Lewis, retiring from business, common
and popular as it is, Is a great humbug.
No man should retire from business TIL
he retires to the grave. When his fac
mites become slow and dull, from age,
he should reduce the number of hours
in his daily work reduce them just as
his strength declines but IN no case
sbould he change or drop his occupa-
ton, unless disease actually comPels
him. He may purchase an estate IN the
country, to which he retires at an early
bour in the afternoon, and he may
postpone his morning hours after the
Young people have begun, but he must
not Quit or make a radical change. We
know of nothing so sure to lead to dys-
pepsia, insanity and suicide, as retiring
from business,
Year: 1873

To Render Castor OIL 2asteless-It
is recommended to first put the dose of
oil in glass, and place upon its surface
a quarter of teaspoonful Of chloroform,
and swallow the whole. The chloroform
will not harm.


Light IN the Room, for the Ssck-The
The late physician to the Emperor of
Russia made a careful study of the
effect of light as curative agent in the
hospital of St. Petersburg. He discov-
cred that the number Of patients who
were cured in rooms properly lighted
was four times as large as it was when
they were confined in dark rooms.


Pomaade to Prevent Baldness.-Lard,
four ounces; spermaceti, one dram ;
lemon juice, six drams tincture Of
cantharides, one-half dram. Perfume
to taste.


Frosted Fset.-They may be cured as
follows: White oak bark, taken fresh
and boiled in water to strong liquor.
Battle the feet in the liquor. 1t is pro.
nOunced the best OF all remedies.


Bread Of Brou,s or Graham Flour
Measure one teacup Of -four into the
pan the bread is to rise in, and on that
pour one quart Of boiling water, and
let it cool until you can bear your finger
in it; then add a dessert-spoonfal of
salt, teaspoonful of brown sugar, a
piece Of lard as large as walnut (the
lard must be perfectly sweet and NICE,
two tablespoonfuls good yeast, and as
much more flour as you can stir in with
a stick; put in warm place to rise all
night; in the morning grease we'll a
cast-iron baking pan (sheet-iron burns
too readily), pour the rised dough into
it, smooth it nicely on the top; bake,
in half an hours time, just one hour.
Year: 1873

There is to be a long talk in Congress
about cheap transportation. There are
to be bills introduced that will attempt
to solve this knotty problem. There
will be numberless speeches for buncombe
by gentlemen from the rural districts
who will desire to make good records
for themselves and pave the way for
their future success in politics. There
will be impracticable propositions offer
ed by the dozen, and hifaluting spout
ings by che yard from political leaders.
There will be an active an unscrupulous
lobby looking up subsidies, and number


less rings of avaricious men watching
chances for grabs. There will be an
effort made to induce the government to
undertake some stupendous scheme by
which millions of the public money will
be squandered and thrown into the
pockets Of maneuvering politicians.
There wilt be fearful waste of patriot
ism and wonderful profusion of de-
magogical tricks. And when the end
OF the session comes we predict that the
matter will stand just where it is, so
far as practical results are concerned.


For look you, the agitation of this
question has been two lately sprung,
and the stupendous monopolies consroll-
ing transportation are too powerful and
will fight any tampering with their pre-
negatives too strongly to permit immedi-
ate results. The newspapers have been
burdened with all kinds of specifics for
the evils complained of, and the people,
vainly looking to their leaders for relief,
grimly wait, thinking deeply of their
wrong gs, and determining in their own
minds that they will, if defeated now,
place men in the halls of legislation who
will in time grant their reasonable de-
mands. It required two score years or
more to abolish the crime of negro slav-
ery-it may take as long to free the
people Of this other and equally obnoxi-
GUS despotism Of monopoly. But the
agitation is commenced and it will never
cease until it too is abolished, and its
defenders and supporters brought to
realize the fact that in this land Of ours
there shall exist no slavery Of any kind.
In the minds of the people, therefore,
let there be no wavering, no falling of
courage, no weakning Of the back bone,
no lessening Of their demands. The
light has commenced, and retreat will
Year: 1873

Farmers, Mechanics and Laborers of
Minnesota, to the front! Advance is
the universal order of the hour, and
the firm, determined tramp, tramp,
tramp of the toiling masses, who have
hitherto Jagged in the rear, is heard all
over the world in the great onward
march. Shall the $4,000 farmers. me-
chanics and laborers of Minnesota fail
to obey the order, or obeying in part
still fail to take their stand in the very
front ranks :? There is no place on the
worlds mighty battle field where the
hosts of the Monopolists are attacking
the people with greater zeal, determina-
tion and ferocity than in our own State
There is no place on the mighty line
where it is more important that the ene-
my should be repulsed, crushed and
routed, foot and dragoon, than right
where we stand. Are we ready tor the
work ?


The GRANGE ADVANCE will always
be just what it's name indicates. It
will ever be found with the advance
guard and at the head of the column.
From its pages no uncertain sound will
ever 60 forth. Based upon eternal
truth and justice. fighting in a right
eous cause, firmly grounded in the con-
viction of the greatness and Importance
Of its mission and work, it must and
will prevail.


Let all those who favor the cause of
the toiling millions against oppression
and monopoly, the cause of labor,
against extortion and greed, come to
our aid, for we are marching under the
same colors.