Year: 1870

Eggs-By II. W. Beecher.


NEVER come upon nest of eggs, So
creted by the hen most conscientiously,
and unknown to the most searching Of
housekeepers, without a sense of boyish
delight, which would bring down on me
reproving looks and grave admonition
from all who have an awful sense of the
proper dignity of ministers. But have
no doubt soda and acids come together
with the very best resolutions. They are
determined to restrain themselves, and
not foam over. Yet the first drop of
water sets them off, and they make bub.
bles and throw them in each others faces
at furious rate, in spite of all the efforts
at selfZoVernment. Now, what is to be
done about it? Were they not made so
And are not some people made so as to
etfervesce easily? Why they were made
so, is o question that should be addressed
to another quarter.


Well, l was saying that the discovery
of hidden eggs was always an excitement,
and there have been times when the ex-
citement was prolonged and extreme. 1t
CHANGED in this wise, and IN the goodly
State Of Indiana.


No more neat, careful, exact and scru-
pulous housekeeper ever was seen in the
Hoosier State, than our fair landlady, who
had us in special charge during the abb
seuce of our proper head and queen, who
sought health on the seaboard. An old
fashioned barn there was, huge in the
middle, with variety Of sheds, lean-tos,
stables and carriage houses, projecting on
every side of it, as if the barn had settled
q family Of little barns all around it. 1t
was family barn, beloved Of hens and
boys; for in its roomy interior, and in the
passages, bins, hooks and corners, all
sorts of frolics might be carried on, while
an occasional peak" at the cracks would
keep them informed when the old man
was coming


But hens, who have secretive tenden-
cy, mOdesty of the nest, find their para
disc in such q voluminous barn. Here
they may lay in silence, and proclaim tt
in vociferous cackles, bringing down the
whole barnyard in chorus, and making
echoes in the neighboring hen yards, and
yet the searcher ind nothing


That pesky hen she lays every day,
and yet we are none the better for her
eggs. l wonder where the creature hidesl
Ii Harvey was half as smart as his father,
know that he could find that nest"


Again and again came the exultant
cackle, and again and again we were with
out custardsl


f.nd so one mellow autumn day, we
wandered through the garden and strolled
into the barn. 1t was not 80 full but that
it had the sense of great space. 1t was
festooned with cobwebs, and had all the
tribes Of spi,,ers that hide in half lights
We climbed the beams, we jumped down
from far up on the hay, and finally, after
sundry smusements, lay down by the side
where the shrunk boards gave us an in
spection-crack, from which we swept the
neighborh0Od-saw and were unseen
Soon we heard the least possible sound of
foot on the hay. Turning our head we
beheld the productive but improbable
hen stealing toward bey secret nest. 1t
was the one time too often. We knew as
much as she did.


How rapacious are all conquerorsl !
There wss the rounded nest, well sunk in
a corner, full, brimful of eggs-thirteen.
besides one for nest egg As oriental
kings despoil a captured city, rob its
people, pull down their choice architec-
ture and quite discrown its beauty, so we
found the nest glowing white as marble,
and left it-like hay.


Is there not a providence for hensP Is
there not fate that follows the most OBJ.
scure and unmatched violence?


We put the eggs safely in our coat tail
POCKET, and walked cautiously. Itrecalled
piece of disreputable carelessness on
our fathers part, who once sat down on a
dozen eggs, and went up as if every egg
was bomb, and every bomb in explosion.
But then he was notoriously absent
minded man. His very example was our
safety Aud yet we dwelt, with some in
ward mirth, as we walked to the house,
on the ludicrous figure which our father
cut. Dinner was spread as we came in.
Some question came up which diverted
our thought from the discovery of the
nes5-indeed we forgot that we had eggs
about us, and drew to the table and sat
down with an alacrity which was only
equalled by the spring with which we got
up.


"Graciousl"


why, what IS the matter?"


Matter enough"


Are you sick? Do let"


Idrew my hand from my pocket stream.
ing with liquid chicken, never to be born,
and the disgusting secret was out That
woman WAS a saint My pockets were
duly cleansed, without one cutting word.
l can imagine the process, but never like
to dwell upon it. Would you believe it,
the same thing happened in a few weeks
againS 1t did, and to the same person
But never since then, no, neverI From
that day to this we do not remember ever
to have even taken an egg from nest.


l, when L see man who allows him.
self to be putfed up and fattered, | know
that his time will come when he will sit
down on those eggs.


2. When / see men who are robbing,
right and left, and filling their pockets
with unlawful wealth which other men
earned, l say, "You will sit down on
those eggs yet"


3. When oVer.cupning men think that
they can outwit all their fellows, and are
exulting at the success which their
shrewdness has achieved, 1 say to myself,
Z" Fill your poeketsi By and by YOU will
alt down ON fhnan enna u ~ ~ 49,,