smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1876

The DEAD ALIvE.-Mrs. Harriet
Westervelt Of BIoomingdale, " J.. was
put in coffin for burial last week, her
friends imagining that she was dead
The undertaken was about screwing down
the lid when the supposed corpse jump
ed up aud said in loud voice, My
God, what are you doing with me p
She was removed from the coffin and
placed in bed, when she soon after ex-
PRED The Patterson Guardian says
the undertaken before putting her IN the
coffin asked her daughter if she really
thought her mother was dead. Startled
by the inquiry. she asked him why he
put such a question as that. but before
be could answer they were both hOrrifed
to see the supposed corpse sit bolt up
right in the coffin, look wildly around,
and exelaim as above stated. So soOn
as the terrified spectators Of this won
derful phenomenon could sufficiently re-
cover from their surprise to stir, thej
hastily removed the supposed dead wO-
nan from the coffin and laid her upon q
bed. and with all dispatch sent for DIR
MaeWithey. When be arrived be found
the woman lying still and unconscious
and after an examination pronounced
her dead. saying that she had just e1
pired- From the time that she was re
moved from the c6fin to the bed. till tn
arrival Of the doctor, there were n
signs Of animation whatever. which CAV
the circumstances all the more appear
anee Of a dead person sitting up an
speaking just a single sentence, an
again Iapsing into the everlasting sleep
Had she been buried with the same hast
as most funerals are conducted. 81
would have experienced her momentar.
return to life down IN her grave Mr.
westerveIt leaves the unusually larg
family Of nineteen children, Of vhor
ten are girls and nine are b5ys-
Year: 1876

Josh Billings says He who falls from
the top round Of the ladder Of fame,
don't stop when be reaches the bottom,
but goes about ten feet into the ground
The President has no ear for music,
and the carelessness with which be used
to take Babeoek's flute to make the FIRE
with was 4 constant menace 70 their
friendship.-Br0okiyH argus.


The leap year neck tie for gentle
men is out. We have not seen It but
suspect it is young lady's sleeve, with
an arm in it, aud goes all the way round
the neck.


A subscriber to Southwestern news
paper died recently. leaving four years
subscription unpaid. The editor appear
ed at the grave and deposited in the eof-
in a palm leaf fan, linen coat, and a
thermometer.


When 4 nan detects missing button
after getting on a clean shirt. no one in
the house is aware Of the fact He takes
Of the shirt aud puts on another. quiet
ly all the while He never, never speaks
Of it to a sOul.-DtDgblgy NsIrS.


An Irishman was brought up before a
justice Of the peace on charge Of va
grancy, and was thus questioned: What
trade are you 2 Sure, now. your hon.
or. I'm q sailor You 4 sea faring
man? | questiOn.whether you have ev-
er been to sea in your life Sure now.
and does your honor think l came over
from Ireland in wagon 2


Young mau. if you should see your
girl gazing intently at your feet, don't
shift them about uneasily, or draw them
up and SIT upon them. under the impress
sion that she Is overwhelmed by their
immense size She Is only taking their
measure mentally. for a pair Of slippers,
on the toes Of which she intends to work
a blue dog with a green tail and scarlet
ears


At the Sabbath school in Deering, Me-,
a few Sundays since. one Of the teachers
Of q juvenile class was explaining TIE
necessity and duty Of prayer. She fin
ally asked one little girl if she knew
what was meant by prayer The child
replied that she did not The teacher
to illustrate. asked the little girl. What
did your father say this morning jus
before he ate his breakfastP The child
innOeently answered. He said. confounC
it. this egg rotten


One afternoon last summer when /;
resident Of Woodland Avenue, Detroit
saw a lawn mower at the gate Of an &C
quaintance who hadn't six spears o
grass around the house. and didn't owl
the house. anyway. be inquired in ton
Of surprise


Why. what do you want Of a lawn
moEer?'


Well. 1 don't exactly need it. wa
the reply, but the children can haul
around. and the man offered to trust N
for it.


The other morning man whose gra
locks we're proof Of sad experience hunt
ed around the City Hall Market until b
found farmer with cider for sale, an
be asked:


How much cider in one Of these bal
rels?


Forty gallons


How much water 2


Water


Yes, sir, how many gallons Of wate
did you put IN 2


Water IN cider 2


Yes. sir. did you put in FIVE gallons


See here said the farmer. do 20
want barrel Of cider ?


4 want barrel Of cider. SIR, but
want to know how much water I'm bu,
ing


You think you'd like barrel. eh ?


i think / would, SIR. but how mud
water did you put IN ?


Water


Yes. sir. water.


This cider is all spoken for, said 4
farmer, as he drew on his mIttenS ; b
TIl be in again tomorrow
Year: 1876

A LETTER.-It was Saturday, and an
academy holiday, and he had been work.
ing hard all day in the front garden, dig
ging and proddng and STOPPING reckless
ly around in little bob-tailed coat and a
pair of crazy old pantaloons. He did not
care much for style just then, as he was
tired so when it came mail time, he just
brushed and washed up little, and went
down TO the village. When he reached
the place several boys bawled out, after
him that there was a letter in the post
Office for him, and with quickened steps
and high hopes he hurried on. There was
quite crowd in the Office when he arriv-
ed, and while waiting for his turn, he
stood around, back to the crowd, and
read some of the auction notices on the
walls.


Presently he heard q sweet voice in
conversation with the postmaster. 1t was
his Julia-his dear Julia; so he faced
around and bowed TO her. She returned
his nod with lady-like dignity, but he
noticed that there was considerable color
in her face. and that she hurried right
away home in sort Of confusion. He
couldn't make out what the people were
laughing at, just at that instant; but
when very small boy behind him piped
out, "Our best-patented Feb 10, 1872"
in very shril tone, as if reading from
somewhere, and he felt smart tug on
his clothing from behind, and a very
small boy shot out Of the office with
wild whoop a surging, sickening food
ofdreadful doubts and surmises welled up
from bis very boots.


He knew but too well that the words
the boy had uttered made up kind Of
trade mark stamped on the lower por-
tion of the shirt he wore, and backing
family up against the wall he lowered his
hands slowly, trembling and anxiously
behind him till it touched some protrud-
ing muslin.


Gracious 20 be family whispered, as
he feverishy tucked it ont of sight, II
wonder if she saw it ?"


And then he thought it over little,
and concluded that she had, and the hot
color came and went, and the cold shiY-
ers galloped up and down his neck as he
hunted hopelessly around his clothes for
a pin.


lie didn't care for the mail now. lie
bad the letter the boys had told him
about, and be put his hands over it, and
rubbed cautiously along the wall to the
door, and from the dool he got painfully
outside and scraped along with his back
TO the clapboards till nc reached the rear
ofthe building; and, when he was sure
that nobody was looking, he took his
hands away from the place and made
bold dash across lots for home, where he
at once packed his yalise, wrote parting
note to his mother and went right off and
joined circus company. -Dan5ury
,Ne1es.
Year: 1876

READ the advertisements in this week
SrArrsuAs and then you will know where
to trade to advantage. II is only those VINO
advertise that can afford TO deal lIoerAliy
with their customers.
Year: 1876

A MISTAKE on the part of the STATESMAN
leads an Olympia paper to say that WSlla
WaIla county is endeavoring to escape the
payment of her Just proportion of The terrific
rial tax. Walla Walla always has paid
about double her proper share, and it i'll be-
comes Sound paper TO make The charge OF
delinquency. 1t Is the counties on the Sound
that have been playing this game, and Il
there is TO lie change in this regard, that Is
the quarter 10 commence in
Year: 1876

TEAMING.-With the last week we have
noticed quite number of teams passing over
he Wallula road. This is in pursuance of
the agreement entered into between the
Grangers and business men not TO patronize
tie railroad SO long the present tariff OF
charges is enacted. As a matter of course,
the passengers travel by the railroad, and
portion Of the freights follow the same con-
veyanee, but gradually the business Of the
railroad is falling off As we have said be-
fore, we regret this disagreement between the
citizens and railroad managers, and trust
that some mode of adjustment may yet be
devised.
Year: 1876

HIGH WATEK.-The Columbia River has
now reached higher stage than has been
known at any time during the last four
years. This is The report from Wallula, and
he apprehension is that it may interfere with
the working of the railroad, and prevent the
cars from reaching The landing. The water
penetrating through the sand and alkali dust
that compose the road bed, soon reduces it 10
qnick-sand, and makes it dangerous for the
cars to pass over any part of the road thus
undermined. 1t is quite likely that port
age of mile or a mile and half will have
TO be made, and TO that extent the convent
ences for freighring over the railroad will
temporarily suffer.
Year: 1876

picking, especially very early in the sea-
son, when the insects first appear, and be-
fore they have had time to lay their eggs.
is highly advantageous, and that the use
of Paris green is recommended by the
best authorities; but that, when using
this dangerous poison, the greatest care
should be taken when dusting the plants
that none of it is carried by the wind on
the person OF the operator, or on any
neighbor's fruit, vegetables, OF forage
crops, and that it should be mixed with
at least ten to twelve parts of flour, plas-
ter, or some other material. and that an
overdose is apt to kill the plants, besides
leaving Il residuum in the soil which may
prove injurious to the crops. We have
seen it stated that a tablespoonful of Paris
green can be dissolved in paillul of wa
ter and sprinkled over the plants, and
that it is strong enough in this solution
to be effective. Ploughman.
Year: 1876

THE Empire of Turkey is evidently
rapidly disintegrating. The rapidity with
which rulers are changed is but a prelude
to early partition and possible division
among the great Powers. Russia wants
free outlet for her Black sea trade through
the Bosphorus. Austria would not object
to absorbing two or three of the adjoining
provinces. Religious liberty will be made
the excuse for the spoliation of the sick
man, but the real inspiring motive will
after all be transparent as grasping avarice
and Imperial aggrandizement. England
will be won over by her desire for com
me1cial expansion and the excellent excuse
that she is defending the Christian religion
and protecting human life. This gliding
will make the pill palatable to Germany,
France and Italy as well. 1t will take
some time yet to complete the game. Some
regard must be had for appearances, But
the matrimonial alliances between the I'm
perial houses of Europe are too extensive
to admit of any doubt as to the ulterlor de-
signs of the Great Powers. The Empress
of India, the Emperor of Russia, the EN-
peror of Germany are closely allied by the
inter-marrisge of their children, while the
Emperor of Austria is little more than a
fgurehead among them. Whether the
downfall of Turkey will be succeeded by
the dismemberment of that Empire or by
placing a Russo-English family upon the
throne to rule the mixed populations of
Christians and Mussulmans remains for the
future to deyelop.
Year: 1876

HoRATIo SEYMoUR's father committed
suicide, the deed being superinduced by
softening of the brain. The son of this
suicide has carefully avoided prolonged
political or mental struggles and excite
ment, and in doing SO has frequently with
drawn from active political life. His reason
Tor these Withdrawals was fear that the
disease which resulted in his fathers un-
fortunate demise might be provoked in him
by extraordinary physical or mental exer-
Jon. In fact, he refused or declined to be
elected to the United States Senate on this
account. When he was nominated, few
days ago, as the Democratic candidate for
Governor of New York, he was lying on
sick-bed, so seriously i'll that his physicians
and friends, as it is reported, thought it
judicious not to inform him of that fact.
In short, it is not improbable that the gifted
candidate of the New York Democracy
may be called upon to vote either for an
idiot or corpse for Governor if they per
sist in keeping Horatio Seymour's name
upon their ticket until the coming election.
Year: 1876

badly worsted in the contest, and they will
meanwhile have to look up another man to
confront Mr.. Elliott. There was no at
tempt at intimidation at the meeting in
question, as the Republicans were fully
two thousand strong, armed in every con-
ceivable manner, and the Democratic rife
clubs did not exceed six hundred. An
other reason why the Democracy behaved
themselves on the occasion was owing to
the presence of Col. Youmans, who is well
known for his conservatism,
Year: 1876

TIE STORY goes that Horatio Seymour
was induced by Tilden to accept the Dem
ocratic nomination to be Governor of New
York, with the understanding that he
(Seymour) should not be required to take
an active part in the pending canvass, and
that In the event of Tilden's election to be
President Seymour shall be Secretary of
State of the United States. The practical
result of this scheme would make Tilden's
tool, Dorshelmer, Governor of the Empire
State
Year: 1876

Is the very best ,digester. There is
no tonic known equal to it, as it is OF
the kind calculated to promote hilarity
and good feeling generally. Most pa
rents are prone to prohibit their child
rem from laughing and talking at the
table. 1t is unphYsiological; it is a
cruelty ...


Joyousness promotes the circulation
of the blood, enlivens it, invigorates it,
sends it tingling to the remotest part of
the system, carrying with it animation,
vigor, life. The louder tho little ones
laugh the better, for then they eat less
at o given time, consequently chew their
food more thoroughly.


Discard controversy from the dining
table. Discourage oil subjects which
invite political or religious rancor. Let
every topic introduced be calculated to
instruct, to interest, or amuse. Do not
let the mind run on business, or previ-
GUS mishaps, or past disappoinemerts.
Never tell bad news at the table, nor
for. an hosr before. Let everything
you have to communicate be, if possi-
BILE, of gladsome, joyous, hilarious
character, calculated to bring out pleas
ant remarks or agreeable associations.
On the other hand, never administer q
reproof at the social board to either
servant or child; find fault with moth
ing, speak unkindly to no one. If re-
marks are made of the absent one, let
them contain some word of commenda-
ton, and which, if repeated in their
hearing afterwards, will kindle kindly
feelings, and thus will thoughts of the
family table come across the memory III
after years, when we have been scatter
ed and some laid in their final resting
place, bringing with them sweetness
Of emotion which makes it a pleasure
to dwell upon them. DIR. Hall.
Year: 1876

x The pen with which the Presi-
dent signed the Centennial bill was
made from tho quill Of an American
eagle, shot In the vicinity of Mount
Hood. OF course both the quill and
the bird will be on exhibition at the
Centennial.
Year: 1876

HIS BOYS QUEsnoN.-The Free Press
says that the other day Detroiter who
has a good record of army service took
down his revolver to shoot cat which
had been hanging around the house.
After looking at him while he fred six
shots the cat walked away.


While he was loading up for more
destruction, the shooters small boy in
quired:


Father, did you ever kill any one
while you were in the army


81 suppose 80, my son."


After pause the boy continued:


Then you must have got neal
enough to hit 'em with an ax, didnt
you9" - 9.


1t was then discovered to be about
school time.
Year: 1876

THE BEsT COOP AT HoME.-What a
blessing to th, household is merry,
cheerful woman--one whose spirits are
not affected by wet days and little dis
appointments, and whose milk OF hu-
man kindness does not sour in the sun
shine of human prosperity! Such a
woman, in the darkest hours brightens
the house like little piece of sunshiny
weather. The children go to school
with sense OF something great to be
achieved; her husband goes out into
the world in conqueror's spirit. No
matter how he is annoyed abroad, at
at home he is sure to find rest
Year: 1876

WE have not yet found one man in
Wheeling who is opposed to the repeal OF
the Resumption Act, as demanded by the
Democratic platform. All agree that 1t
- y mischevous act and ought never to
have been passed by Congress.
Year: 1876

TIE summer is passing and the har-
vest is nearly ended, and the political
campaign will soon be upon usj earnest.
The two national tickets are already in
the field, and the State ticket on the
Democratic side is before the people.
The Republicans will hold their State
Convention al Parkersburg on the 29th
of this month; and it seems TO be their
purpose to set up their candidates for
Congress in this District at the same
time and place.


The Democratic Congressional Com
mittee is called TO meet at Psrkersburg
on the 18th, (next Wednesday, at which
time that body will fix the time and
place of holding the Democratic Con
pressional Convention. 1t seems to be
conceded thet New Martinsville will be
the place, and We presume the time will
be early in Augustine long after the Re
publican nomination.


L, seems probable that the county
tickets will also be placed in the field
hv that time, and tho campaign opened
all along tmc Inc.


La Ola" county the Democratic party
is stronger than it has been for SIX years
1t can, il it will consolidate its strength
aud utilize its forces, cast majority
of six hundred ut the October election
over the strongest ticket the Republican
party can place in the field. The party
is better united to-day than it has been
since we became the majority parry of
the State. This is the case, not alone
in Ohio county, but in the other counties
of West Virginia. At the Charles.
tona Convention all differences
were healed in the formation
of the ticket, and a universal
desire for change in the national ad-
ministration, has brought all factions TO-
gether. The nomination Of SO able and
conspicuous u reiormer by the st Louis
Convention agsinst the representative OF
Grantism set up at Cincinnati, CONSOLE
dates our ranks as one man, both locally
and throughout the State. All we want
is organization; then our army Will be
iny,ncible. Let our committees take the
lead and the people will enthusiastically
follow
Year: 1876

was there to take his place. / finally
became enraged and punched one OF
them with the nozzle, making round,
circular wound Oh his ribs He gave
NE violent kick as he left me, and l
was soon hauled up. After this all
work had to stop, as the Mexicans
threatened to stab any diver that went
under water belonging to our expedi-
ton. We remained idle few days
but getting unhappy over such state
OF affairs, l proposed working by night
johnson would not consent. |, how
ever, persuaded a portion OF the crew to
volunteer q trial of one night; so we
went to work thus in the dark, conf
dent of success, and recovered two
boxes the first dive. | came up some
what exhausted and went on board the
small vessel, took 4 lunch, and rested a
couple of hours. Then 1 made another
dive and recovered one more box, which
proved night work great success, and
ever afierward anything was possible TO
the crew that | would undertake, We
worked eight or ten nights, or until the
Mexicaus left and then resumed work
by day.


One night when came up the men
told me huge devil fish had come
along and was settling down upon me,
when an car was thrown, striking him
on the back, causing him to leave. |
felt thankful 10 that oar, for nothing
could have saved me from being sliced
up had he once got his arms around
me. recovered Capt Hudson's dumb
bells, and afterward presented them to
him, and also some :nutilated Oregon
State bonds, some photographs, and an
elegant ivory card case, which have
now in my possession.


I often came ont of the sand with the
feet OF the dress all worn out by paw
ing and digging in the Goals and sand
with my toes. My feet became so sore
and badly cut as to almost cripple me.
Nv nails become worn so thin by the
sand as to bleed from being touched
and my hands and feet were constantly
swollen TO twice their natural size. The
sand entered through my clothes from
the holes in the feet. Both knees were
chated raw. Ny shoulders, from which
so much weight was suspended, were
always as raw as a piece of beet, and
blcd freely when | emerged from the
water. I occasionally met other divers
in the sand, and once washed one OF
them out The poor fellow was almost
gone when they hauled him up. Doubt
less there are many places where money
can be recovered by the use of water II
it was more generally understood.
Year: 1876

Sometimes Mexican divers would


come. down and hold on to my dress,
two or three at time, andztry to. take
the bars from me. would simply hold


on until they would hare to leave to
get air Bet when one let go another
Year: 1876

HENRIco COUNTY CoURT.-The jury in
the case of j. T.. Fore, charged with forgery
and horse-stealiug, brought in verdict
yesterday morning OF "not guilty" The
jury had been held by the sheriff during
the night previous, and only came to an
agreement on yesterday morning. When
they first retired there were eight for ac-
auittal and four for conviction. Fore is
still to be tried for trespass.


A woman NAMED Schonberger, city
prisoner, who had been remanded to the
county jail, was taken so i'll yesterday TINT
Justice White gave an order that she should
be taken home. The order was carried
out. and Mrs. Schonberger was carried
home in a carriage. ~.
Year: 1876

FEAST OF ST. ROSE OF LIMA.-Last Sunday
was celebrated in Church of st. Rose of
Lima, the feast of the lovely Saint under
whose invocation it is placed. The feast day
proper fell upon one of the week days preced,
ing, but, probably for purposes of greater eclat
and DEVOTION the very Jealous pastor of that
parish postponed the celebration for Sunday.
ALI who know Rev. Father Mittelbronn will
not doubt that whatever could be effected by
zeal, energy and capacity was not omitted on
the occasion.
Year: 1876

Since the Belgian general elections, on the
18th of June last, one vacancy has occurred in
the Chamber of Deputies and that one in
Louvain. which went entirely Catholic then
The Liberals went to work with a will, but
their candidate has again been beaten by a
large majority. They are, of course, furious
at this result, but that is not of much conse-
qnence. The great increase in the number
who cast their votes shows that the Belgian
Catholics are beginning to that the contest
in that country is not merely political but reli-
gous. We hope this healthy feeling will
spread
Year: 1876

PICNIC IN THE THIRD D1srR1cT.-On Sunday,
oath, the Mutual Benevolence Society of St.
Maurices Church will give picnic at the Oak
Grove plantation, within three squares of the
Slaughter house. Before proceeding to the
grounds the Society will parade through the
lower part of the city, and will be presented
with three crowns. The picnic is given to
raise funds to enable the Society to build an
asylum. Admission for adults, so cts; children
gratis. Each ticket has coupon attached
which will entitle the holder chance of win
ming one of three valuable prizes.