Year: 1871

and fell back as / approached, and heard
a man say: Look at his eyer 1 pre-
tended not to observe the notice I was at
tracing, but secretly was pleased with
it, and was purposing to write an account
of it to my aunt. / went up the short
flight of stairs, and heard CHEEKY voices
and ringing laugh as 1 drew near the
door, which opened, and caught glimpse
of two young, rural-looking men, whose
faces blanched and heightened when they
saw me, and then they both plunged
through the window, with great crash
l was surprised.


In about half an hour an old gentleman,
with a flowing beard and fine but rather
austere face, entered, and sat down at my
invitation. He seemed TO have something
on his mind. He took off his hat and set
it on the floor, and got out of it red silk
handkerchief and copy of our paper.
He put the paper on his lap, and, While
he polished his spectacles with his hand
kerchief, he said:


"Are you the new editors"


said was.


"Have you ever edited an agricultural
paper before?"


"No," 1 said; "this is my first at
temp"


Then this old person got up and tore
his paper all into small shreds, and
stamped on them, and broke several things
with his cane, and said | did not know as
much as a cow; and then went out, and
banged the door after him, and, in short,
acted in such way that fancied he was
displeased about something But, not
knowing what the trouble was, / could
not be any help TO him.


But these thoughts were quickly ban
ished, when the regular editor walked in .


| thought to myself, Now if you had gone
to Egypt, as | recommended you to, |
might have had chance to get my hand
in; but you wouldn't do it, and here you
are. sort of expected you'll


The editor was looking sad, and per-
picked, and detected. He surveyed the
wreck which that old rioter and these two
young farmers had made, and then said /:


This is sad business-a very sad
business. There is the mucilage bottle
broken, and six panes of glass, and spit
toon and two candlesticks. But that is
not the worst. The reputation of the pa
per is injured, and permanently, l fear
True, there never was such call for the
paper before, and it never sold such a
large edition or scared to such celebrity !;
but does one want to be famous for lu-
macy, and prosper upon the infirmities of
his mind? My friend, as | am an honest
man, the street out here is full of people,
and others are roosting on tha fences,
waiting to get glimpse of You, because
they think you are crazy. And well they
might after reading your editorials. They
are disgrace to journalism. Why, what
put it into your head that you could edit
a paper of this natures You do not seem
to know the first rudiments of agriculture
You speak Of furrow and harrow as
being the same thing; you talk of the
moulting season for cows; and YOU recon-
mend the domestication of the pole cat
on account of its playfulness and its ex-
cellence rs a ratter Your remark that
clans will lie quiet if music be played to
them, was uperf1uous-entircly superilu-
Gus. Nothing disturbs clans. CLAIMS
al,cays lie quiet. CLAIMS care nothing
whatever about music All, heavens and
earth. friend, if you had made the acquir-
ing of ignorance the study of life, you
could not have graduated with higher hon
or than you could to-day. Inever saw any
thing like it. Your observation that the
horse chestnut, as an article of commerce,
is steadily gaining in favor, is simply cal
culated to destroy this journal want
you to throw up your situation and go. /
want no more holiday-I could not enjoy
it if l had it. Certainly not with you in
my chair. l would always stand in dread
of what you might be going to recon-
mend next. 1t makes me lose all patience
every time l think of your discussing
oyster-beds under the head of Landscape
Gardening want you to go. Nothing
on earth could persuade me to take anoth-
er holiday. oh, why didn't you tell me
you didn't know anything about agricul-
ture."


" TIL you, you cornstalk, you cabbage,
you son of caulifiower! It's the first
time l ever heard such an unfeeling re-
mark. tell you / have been in the edi-
torial business going on fourteen years,
and it is the first time ever heard of
mans having to know anything in order
to edit newspaper. You turnipl


IL take my leave, sir! Since have
been treated as you have treated me, am
perfectly willing to go. But l have done
my duty. have fulfilled my contract,
as far as / was permitted to do it. / said
l could make your paper of interest
to all classes, and 1 have. / said / could
run your circulation up to twenty thau-
sand copies, and If had had two more
weeks I'd have done it. And Id have
given you the best class of readers that
ever an agricultural paper had-not a
farmer in it, nor a solitary individual who
could tell watermelon from peachvine
to save his life. You are the loser by
this rupture, not me, Pie-plant. Adios"


then left.-.Mdrk Ttcaia.


Lightning Rods.


The hypothesis that the phenomina of |