Year: 1872

Two young men, telegraph operators,
board at one of our leading third class
hotels, and being of a somewhat hila-
rious disposition, find great amusement
in carrying on conversation with each
other at the table by ticking on their
plates with knife, fork, or spoon. For
the information of those not acquainted
with telcgraphv, it may he well to state
that a combination of sounds or ticks
constitute the telegraphic alphabet, and
persons familiar with these sounds can
converse thereby as intclligcntly aswith
spoken words. The young lightning
strikers, as already stated, were in the
habit of indulging in table-talk by
this means whenever they desired to
say anything private to each other. For
instance, No. would pick up his knife
and tick Oft some such remark as this
to No. >, Why is this butter like the
offense of Ilamlet's uncle2 No. .. g.
give it up" No. |. Because it's
rank and smells to Heaven" OF course
the joke is not appreciated by the
landlord, who sits close by, because he
doesn't understand telegraphic ticks,
and probably he wouldn't appreciate it
much if he did but the jollers enjoy
it immensely and laugh immoderately,
while the other guests wonder what can
be the occasion. for this merriment, and
naturally conclude the operators must
be idiots


A few days ago, while these un-loving
youths were seated at breakfast, a stout
built young man entered the dining
room with a handsome girl on his arm,
whose blushing Countcnance showed
her to be bride. The couple had. in
fact, been married but day or two pre-,
vious and had come to San Francisco
from their home in Oakland or Mud
Springs, or some other rural village, for
the purpose of spending the honey
moon. The telegraphic ticllers com.
menced as soon as the husband and wife
had seated themselves.


No. | opened the discourse as fol
lows: "What lovely little pigeon this
is alongside of me--ain't she ?"


No. =. " Perfectly charming-looks as
if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.
Just married, guess don't you think
SOP"


No. |. " Yes, should Judge she was.
What luscious lips she's got! If that
country pumpkin beside her was out of
the road, l'd give her a hug and kiss
just for luck"


No. .. "Suppose you try it, anyhow.
Give her little nudge under the table
with your knee"


There is no telling to what extent the
impudent rascals might have gone but
for an amazing and entirely unforeseen
event. The bride.room's face had
flushed and a dark scowl was on his
brow during the progress Of the ticking
conversation; but the operators were
too much occupied with each other to
pay any attention to him. The reader
may form some idea Of the young mems
CONSERVATION when the partner Of the
lady picked up his knife and ticked off
the following terse but vigorous mes
sage:


"'This lady is my wife, and as soon as
she gets through with her breakfast |
propose to wiring both your necks-you
insoent whelps."


The countenances of the operators
fell very suddenly when this message
commenced. By the time it ended they
had lost all appetite and appreciation
of jokes, and slipped out of the dining
room in very rapid and unceremo-
NOUS manner. 1t seems the bride
groom was a telegraph operator, and
"knew how it was himself"