Year: 1870

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,l 40 70 tho couse which leads mo TO make public
ststement. fully believe that any one of any de-
cree of prlde or delclcy will bear reproach and con-
tumcly and even the vcst ISLANDERS in silence rather
than drag out TO public comment the most sacred
details ofhs inner life, and that only the meaneSt
soul will babble of that which concerns itself most
dceplv. But during the last six months, aud not a


tle during the last three years have been exposed
10 such storm of public opinion that all others
ever knew sink INTO InHgniicance beside 1t. And
now after have waited i'll patience the verdict OF
newspapers, of the public. and of aNew-York Court
and Jury, have decided that will speak the first
aud last word shall ever speak for myself


Not for any attempt at my own vindlcaton DO
write this explanation. But for the sake of the noble
men and women who have stood by me through all
reyilincs, often without any explanation from me,
and ALWAYS in the full faith that was most cruelty
wronced; for their sakcs and for his who lost his
life in my behalf, | wish TO tell the whole story OF
my life. When was once advised to do so and hes
itated, a good woman said TO me, Do not be afraid
to tell your story to all the world. Tell it once
exactly as you would tell it to your Maker, and then
keep silence forever after"


And this is what mean to do; to write as exactly
as can the whole and simple truth to the minutest
detail Ieserving nothing and extenuating nothing
IL doing this | neither ask nor expect sympathy or
Justice from the press or public. / do not hope to
convince any who are not already convinced that
have been most ung 'nerously traduced. Once L
should have believed of the public press of America
that il would be only necessary for it TO kROr the
truth to speak it, especially where a woman was in
volyed Now, bitter experience has taught me that
political prejudice personal malice, and private ven
geancc are motives before which chivalry and pity
and generosity, desire to be true, 60 to the wall


Soitis to nv friends write this. 70 but very
-. <g11 rf.v axrarr
sacred few have my lips been unsealed. And to the
host Of generous men and women, known and un-
known who have upborne me when the way was
very dark and hard for a woman's feet to tread
above al TO the women. brave and noble beyond eX-
preston. whose sympathy has forever refuted the
SANDER that women are not generous to one of their
own sex-to them, lay bare my heart. OF all my
women friends from earliest girlhood, know OF not
one who has fallen off from me in my great trouble.
Not a single one. If it had not been for their un-
swerying trust and love and sympathy; for the
readiness they have shown to help me bear up my
heavy burdens; for the bravery with winch they
have defended me where it was reproach to 90 So
II Il had NOT been for them believe / should have
been utterly crushed Ihave accepted their LOVING
sympathy as the one compensation for all the un-
soeakable misery of my lot Having said thus much,
which was in my heart and could not be Kept back
l begin my story.


married Daniel Mcfarland in 1851 was girl
of 10, born in Massachusetts, and educated III New
England schools, | had been teacher, ana was
Just beginning to write little for the press Daniel
Mcfarland was an Irishman of 81 or ;'S, who had
received partial course at Dartmouth College, and
had seven years before knew him, been admitted
10 the Massachusetts bar. When married him. he
represented himself TO be a member OF the bar IN
Madison Wisconsin, with lourishing law practice,
brilliant political prospects, and possessed OF prop
orty 70 the amount of $4,000 to $4,000. He also
pr0fessed to be man OF temperate habits, OF the
purest morals, and, previous to my marriage ap-
pearcd neither incorporate, brutal, nor profane


Imlsediately after our marriage we made some
visits and then went to Madison, as l supposed, 10
reside permanently. l remember we were detained
in New-York during our very bridal tour While he
borrowed the money TO get back to the west. Alter
we had been in Madison few weeks MI Mcf arland
informed me that he was going to remove TO New
York that all his property consisted of Wisconsin
State lands to the amount of a good many thousand
acres on which only small amount per acre was
paid He told me that there were large opportun-
ties for trading these lands in New-York City, and
that he was going to reside there while he disposed
of them for real estate personal property lie
me at the same time that he had no money except
lust sufficient TO pay fares to the East and that
he had never had any law practice of consequence,
having devoted himself solely 10 lana speculatonsl IN
the West.


We came to New-York, consequently, In February,
1853 was taken i'll on the way with violent cOld
and fever and we were detained in Rochester ten
days On leaving Rochester he had 10 leave MS
watch and chain in pawn with the hotel-keeper for
our board bill. In NewYork City he kept me three
or four weeks and then taking all the jewelry lhad
to the pawnbIoker's, to pay the board bll ne sent
me home to my fathers in New Hampshire. Isimply
tell these things to give some idea of how they must
have effected Young girl fresh from a comfortable
Nev-England country home, to whoma pawnbrokers
shop was almost an unheard-of institution and not
10 convey the idea that it was his poverty which
shocked or estraDged me.


Invent home then in less than three months after
marriage. He gave me no directions where to write
him. and for fourteen days never heard from him.
Nearly beside myself from anxiety, went to New
Haven and from thence telegraphed to friend OF
his in New-York for news of him. He appeared in
two or three days in to the telegram. Ihen'
for the first time. / had vague suspicion that he
might be incorporate. But knew nothing about
intemperance. had never in all my life seen man
drunk, except some accidental drunkard in the
street and tried to dismiss the suspicion. In
week or two again went back to my fathers, and
remained through the Summer of 1858. During this
Tune he came once twice to visit me, and seemed
TO be attached to Inc. But during the short time
mad lived with him, discovered that he was not
temperate although had not then seen him grossly
A'oAleatedl that lie was terribly prOfane In my
presence, and that his temper very htful ana
passionate, and that for slight or fancied
causes he would become suen and morose not speak


S !" me ior day or two. i did not leave my
'"'ier roof In the Fall Of 1853 without many mis-