smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1871

COUNTERFEIT GREENBAoKs.-Therew was man
around town yesterday who stepped into the
Postofiice, and asked if it was a money order of
flee, at the same time he threw down fifteen OF
twenty greenbacks, and desired to know if the
Postmaster would give him money order fol
them. The Postmaster replied that he would
Well, said he, "you would be fooled most Of
them are counterfeit although they are well
worn. | am Government detective, and here
is detector IA pamphleD which will explain to
you the difference between ehe bogus and the
genuine" The man gave no name and has
since departed for parts unknown.-Solan Re-
publican, April 9Th.
Year: 1871

AS soon as the Congressional chaplain closes
his appeal to the Throne of Grace, there is clap
the members have of calling pages to their side.
Every Congressman begins his days labor by
giving an order to messenger; hence the clap
ping is universal and uproarious. Well, that
beats me- said an elderly gentleman in the gal
lery with mud on his boots which looked as
though he had been brought from the other side
of the Potomac, 81 don't see anything in the
prayers worth cheering"
Year: 1871

CURE FOR FELoN.-The London Lancet gives
the following as the latest cure for felon: AS
soon as the disease is felt put directly over the
spot fly blister, about the size of your thumb
nail, and let it remain for six hours, at the ex-
pration of which time, directly under the sur
face of the blister, may be seen the felon which
can be instantly taken out with the point of q
needle or lancet.
Year: 1871

To THE PoIST.-An exchange truthfully and
pointedly says " The man who neglects to
subscribe for his local paper that he may be bet
ter enabled to take the distant city daily, is like
the mother who neglects her children in going
around to solicit aid to foreign mission
Year: 1871

THE stimulants used by great men are various.
Hobbies drank cold water when he was desirous
of making strong intellectual effort Newton
smoked Bonaparte took snuff Pope drank cof-
fee; Byron took gin and water Nedderburn
the first Lord Ashburton, always placed blister
on his chest when he had to make great speech.
Year: 1871

MARRIAGE NoTIoEs.-The London
Times was the first paper which charged
for their marriage announcements. In
the early days of that paper it was the
custom in announcing marriage TO state
the amount of the brides dowry-f20,-
600, or 100000, or whatever it might
happen to be; and in looking through
the ladies column one morning at break
fast, Mr.. Walter threw out the sugges-
ton that if man married all this mon
ey he might certainly pay trifing per-
centage upon 1T to the printer for ac-
quainting the world with the fact. "These
marriage fees would form a nice little
pocket money for me, my DEAR" added
Mrs. Walter, and as joke her husband
agreed to try the experiment. The charge
at first was but triffe, and the annual
amount probably not much. But Mrs.
Walter at her death, passed this pre-
scriptive right of hers to her daughter,
and when a few years ago the right was
re-purchased by the present proprietor,
it was assessed at $4,000 to $4,000 a
year.
Year: 1871

A colored debating society at Coving-
ton, Ga., lately considered the stupen-
dous question, (Which is the more use
full, paper or gunpowder ?" The presi-
dent was for long time in great doubt
as to which side had produced the strong
est argument, when one of the powder
side arose and very gravely said: Mr..
President 'Spose dar was bar out dar
at de door, and you was to go dar and
shake de paper at him, you'd see what de
bar would do. But jes shoot cannon
at him and mark de result. calls for
de question" The president forthwith
decided in favor of powder.
Year: 1871

A CHEAP Ice HoUsE.-Frosty nights
remind us that the ice crop for the warm
weather of 1872 will soon have to be
gathered, and plans for ice houses will
soon be in demand. Any builder or
architect can design and put up an elab-
crate ice house which may or may not
preserve the ice entrusted to its keeping !;
but cheap, make-shift ice house, which
will serve temporary purpose until a
better one can be erected, is greatly to be
desired. We know from experience that
a very simple structure will serve every
purpose, and the following directions
from the Country Gentleman, seem to
meet the required conditions Throw
down dozen or two of old rails or poles
on piece of ground sufficiently inclined
to carry off water, ELL the crevices be-
tween the holes with sawdust, cover with
old boards, slabs or barks-get from the
sawmill few loads of slabs, take four,
say IL feet long, notch the corners like
log house, set them on the platform,
and you have crib about ten and a
half feet square by the width of the slab
deep; ELL this crib with sawdust and pack
it down hard. Cut your ice so that it
will pack close, and eight feet square !;
lay it on the sawdust, put on another
crib of slabs and fill up and pack hard
with sawdust all around, and SO on until
you get up six or eight feet; then put a
foot and half of sawdust on top; over
this put shed roof of slabs-one end
of the slabs nearly to the ice, raising the
other three feet. If ice is all that is
wanted, it will keep in this manner as
we'll as in a vanished house. Let a
farmer once get in the habit of keeping
ice, and he will soon lind a way to make
something better than crib to keep it
in-and think this cheap plan will be
apt to get him started.
Year: 1871

LOST AND FoUNp.-In searching out
side of books for strange romances no
more interesting is ever found than the
following vicissitudes of real life extend
ing over various widely separated parts
of the globe. Twenty years ago an Eng
lish merchant at Rio Janeiro, Brazil,
who, though going to that place poor
boy, had acquired fortune, went home
on visit. While there he met beau
tiful orphan girl whom he wooed, won
and married, and the two returned to
Brazil, where two children we're born to
them and for years they lived in the re-
lations of trust and affection which
should always exist in the oest assorted
marriages. They occasionally made Wis
its to England, and on one Of their trips
the merchant heard rumors prejudicial
to his wife's fidelity, which by degrees
famed the flame of jealousy within him,
and he directly and openly accused her
of what report has whispered to him.
Although the lady Indignantly denied
the fault and challenged him to his proof,
which he was unable to produce, cold
ness and distrust so grew upon them out
of the rupture, that by mutual consent
they separated, he fixing an annuity up
on her. Weary on his part of old asso-
Citations he made his way to North Amer
lea; did considerable trading in the
West, and had his headquarters in st.
Paul, Mimi, where though grave and
avoiding close intimaces, he made many
friends by his consideration for other
people and strict honor in all his business
transactions. By the laws of Brazil his
wife was allowed to marry again, and
this she did after few years although
by such step she forfeited her annuity.
Her husband, an educated but poor gen.
tleman in feeble health, soon died, and
she with the two children by her first
husband was left in destitute circum-
stances. Knowing nothing of her hus-
bands whereabouts she, following some
mysterious impulse, came to the United
States and in the fall Of 1869 found her
self in St. Paul. There the long separa-
ted met once more and in spite of the
crosses that had been excited, the old
love was renewed and new wedding was
the result. Since then they have lived
more happily than ever at the West un-
Til the other day, when they left New
York for England to end their days in
their old home.
Year: 1871

A STORY BY MARX TwAIN.-The fol-
lowing story was told me by a fellow pas
senger, who said he had never been scar
ed since the time he had loaded an old
Queen Anne's musket for his father
SAID he:


"You see the old man was trying to
teach me to shoot blackbirds and beasts
that tore up young corn and things SO
that | could be OF some use about the
farm, because / wasn't able to do much.
My gun was single barrel shot gun, and
the old man carried an old Queen Anne
musket, that weighed about a ton, MAX
ing report like thunder clap and kick
ing like mule The old man wanted me
to shoot the musket sometimes, but was
afraid. One day, though, got her
down, and taking her to the hired man,
asked how to load her, because the old
man was out in the fields. Hiram said
DO you see them marks on the stock,
an X and v? Well that means ten
balls, five slugs that's her load
But how much powder?'
Oh said he, it don't much matter
put in four handfulls.


So | loaded her up that way, and it
was an awful charge-I had sense enough
to see that-and started out. level
ed her on a good many birds, but every
time | pulled the trigger, / shut my eyes
and winked, / was afraid Of her kick.
Toward sundown, / fetched up at the
house and there was the old man resting
ON the porch.


Been out hunting, have your
Yes sir said /. ~
Didn't kill anything, sir, didn' shoot
her off. | was afraid she'd kick 4
q knew very well she would


Gimme that gunP the old man said,
mad as sin. DO you see that sapling p


| saw it and began to drop back out
of danger. The next moment 1 heard
earthquake, and the Queen Anne whirl-
ed end over end in the air, and the old
manspinning round on one heel, with one
leg up and both hands on his jaw, and
the bark flying from that tree. The old
mans shoulder was set back four inches
and his jaw was turned black and blue
and he had to lay up for three days. I
haven't been scared SINCE"
Year: 1871

ly condition must be clothed with inf
mite patience and forbearance it suffer
eth long, and is good natured it valu-
eth not itself, and is not pufied up
There are no perfect men and women, for
which purpose they are placed together
in the world as the clay in the potter's
hand to be fashioned. A man who loves
truly will love where his affection has
come to be ill-requited. Women often
but men never, love when lovelness is
gone. The household is not an earthly
Elysium into which men are taken like
souls into heaven; but it is the school
where true men and women learn lasting
happiness. Genuine good nature on
both sides makes a loving life after mar
riage the easier, pride makes it thehard-
est, and there is nothing in this world so
bad as religious pride for making mis-
chief. Many couples live together and
yet live single lives; they court in ben
evidence, but live in selfshness before
marriage each wanted to please the 9TH
er, and they were so happy that they
thought they were perfectly adapted to
each other-and so they were, if they
had kept it up butafter marriage, from
wanting to please each other they chang
ed to each wanting to be pleased. In
married life influence should govern, and
not authority and the controlling in
fluence will always go with the largest
nature without regard to sex. If the
woman is the best manager, she should
manage, ifthe best economist, she should
control the means, and if the best COVER
nor she should govern. Affairs should
be controlled either in Joint council, by
alternating, or, in extreme cases, by the
one with the largest nature; but it
should always be done by influence, and
not by command. For woman to fail
in having her own way oftentimes gives
rise to world of foolish weeping and
praying, which she calls grief and he
anger. He dwelt upon the folly for Ell
ther the man or the woman to attempt
the making over of the nature of the
other to conform to either his or her pc
culiar notions, as is too often the case,
and said there were some who were never
but partly married, they were so unlike
in many things, and failed so utterly in
being drawn together by the spirit Of
true and unselfish love. He was partic-
ularly emphatic against divorces, saying
that the remedy should be at the entrance
of the happy state of matrimony, and
not at the exit. He illustrated the love-
illness of long life of welded harmony
saying that the wedding but puts the
strings on the harp; life tunes them and
brings out their melody Worcester Spg
of NoU. IA.
Year: 1871

AT a recent New York wedding the
bridal party, in blissful forgetfulness Of
everything but themselves, walked out of
the church before the minister had pro-
nounced the blessing over them, leaving
him with outstretched hands and an as
tonished look on his face as they hurried
down the aisle.
Year: 1871

An intelligent store cat in Boston inn
proves every favorable opportunity to abb
stract a five cent nickel from the money
drawer, and, carrying it in his mouth to
butchers shop near by, purchases q
square meal" just like anybody.
Year: 1871

Several days ago there appeared in our
columns a notice entitled IAN object Of
charity" in which an aged couple residing
at No III South Summer street, were rep
resented as being in destitute circumstan-
ces. The representations referred to in
that notice being correct in every particu-
lar. The article in suggestion had no
sooner found its way to the many thousand
benevolent ladies' (of which Nashville
can feel q Just pride) when it found
q speedy response from many philan-
thropie and sympathetic heart, thus show
| ing oonclusively that when appeals are
made to our generous citizens in behalf OF
suffering humanity, they are not made In


vain. The recipients of so many donations
| from the fair ladies stated last evening,


their thanks while not forgetting the
UNION AND AMERICAN for giving publicity
| to the facts, and to one and all they ex-
tend their heartfelt gratitude. Most con-


spicuous among the ladies who contributed


SO much towards allevisting the sutferings
| of the unfortunate man and wife were Miss


s., a beautiful young lady of this city,


who has been untiring in her exertions TO


promote their happiness BY sending TO
their house basket after basket filled with


every deIicacy calculated to change scene
of poverty and sadness to that of comfort


and gladness. Miss Susie W, with q


heart so emblematic of purity, and Mrs.
| Andrew s., have done everything in


their power towards ameliorating the CON-
dition of the aged couple.
Year: 1871

tlemen we ever met, is as chief steward Of
hotel almost without an equal, and his
extensive personal acquaintance and host
of friends will rebound greatly to the sd-
vantage of this house by an increase Of its
custom.


There is one feature in the programme
and practice of this hotel which is not
usually found and which makes success a
matter of course. 1t affords every comfort,
convenience and luxury desired by the
most fastidious epicure, and at the same
time adapts itself to the comfort and con
venience of the plainest and most matter
of-fact business men. Country merchants
and others on business in the city are not
worried with unnecessary forms and cere-
monies, and are only charged So per day.
No excuse is left for any one to go around
the house who prefers a good hotel to a
sorry one
Year: 1871

The Democracy of Maine, in their Con-
vention, which adjourned few days since,
presented the following platform of prin-
ciples to the people of that State:


Resolutions were adopted to bury out OF
sig hit all dead issues that the Democracy address
itself to the vital issues and questions CT the
b our; they recogn Ze as binding the Obiiga n
to the Constitution as it now is, but denounce
the means by which the same became the -u-
preme law; they demand q strict construction to
protect equally the rights OF States as well as
Individuals, and will fore ser defend the same
ag ~lnst concentr alton High protective tariff Is
also opposed"


These resolutions virtually carry out the
ides developed by the late latnented Val
'andighsm. To our view, they present q
platform upon which all patriotic citi-
zens North and South, can safely and
consistently stand, and one upon which
the NanonaI Democracy can go into the
next Presidential campaign with every
prospect of success.


While we surrender no principle. alb
stractly, for which We have contended in
the Fast, and relipquish no conviction
which we have entertained as to the true
theory of government, we are not of that
Bourbon class who leave nothing and for
get nothing in connection with tho prdai-
cal teachings of the times. We cannot ap-
plaud the sagacity or the philosophy
which pauses, on the rapidly revolving
wheel of events, to think rather of the
ground that has been traversed than of
that which stretches beyond. We do not
admire the wisdom which grasps after un-
attainable things, rather than make the
most of what we have and of present
emergencies.


No man surpasses Us in dstestation of
the manner in which the usurpations of
the past five years have been accomplish
ed. of the agencies through whose instru-
mentality those evils have been consum-
mated, or of the character of the innOVa-
tions themselves. But while We cannot
check or prevent, We need not butt our
heads against. There was pluck, per
haps, bat no discretion, in the ball that
opposed his horns against the terrific pro-
gress of the locomotive, and it is not re-
corded that his pluck either stopped the
engine or helped him.


4ne Democracy OF Maine, therefore, IN
our estimation, have set o wise example in
seeking to "bury out OF sight all dead is
sues and address itself 10 the riLaI ques-
tions and issues of the hour" There are
enough of those latter upon which to II
raign Radicalism before an indignant ma
ton and to commend the party of Re-
forns,-the Democratic Conservative party
Year: 1871

of the day,-to the confidence and support
OF. the people. ze


The condition of the South is-a standing
protest. in the eyes of the world and OF
history, against the unwise and ungener-
GUS policy of the party in power. Present
ing this attitude, but utterly pogerless to
change it. it is certainly the art alike OF
good sense and sound policy for as to be
passive. Leaving developments to the
future, let us address Ourselves to living
and practical matters am Issues. Let us
dig the earth and %s. III The heavens,
and ere long we shall see the grey of the
dawn of recuperation and repcse creeE
along the skies
Year: 1871

A Bohemian Of the most reckless tyre
sends his experiences in Rochester to q
New York city paper


did not find the luxuriant cuss who
stole my watch on the Becker street cars
in Syracuse, and hearing that an awful
looking fellow had b en- seen in Rocbes,er,
l W. Mt there. The watch was one of Jug
gernaut's make, and I wasted it. On the
way to the depos in Syracuse a real NICE
little lap dog jumped over fence and
sprang at me. He weighed more than $40
worth Of coal at June prices, and as I gazed
down his mouth / thought of Jonah. He
remarked to me, "Bow, WOW. wow," and
L said to him, in pacifying way, " NIcs
Teaser, pretty little Teaser," but lady
shouted, Rover. Rover-here, Rover"
and he left me. Then she quietly informed
me that needn't be frightened; the dog
had had his dinner, and wasn't hungry.


got into the cars and took a seat in
juxtaposition to O female. That females
face was perfect insu ance company for
her-1s insured her against ever getting
married to anything but a blind man. Her
mouth locked like crack in dried lem
on, and there was no more expression in
her face than is in q spinal column of
a cup of cold custard. She appeared as if
she had been through one famine ard had
got about two-thirds through another-
She was old enough to be great grand
mother to Mary that had the little lamb
She was che wing prize popcorn, and car
ried In her hand yellow rose, while
band COX and cotton umbrella nestled
sweetly by her side. L couldn't guess
whether she VAS on a mission of CHARITY,
or going West to start saw mill I was
full of curiosity to hear her speak, go said


"Ihe exigencies of the times require
great circumspection in a person who is



Says she, "What I"
Year: 1871

AN unfortunate error crept into the let
ter of "B." our intelligent marlborough
correspondent. In speaking of the killing
of the negro outlaw Sam CardaCay. he was
made to cay the killing of the negro outlaw
Sam, cowardly. We regret the error, as
it does gross, although unintentional injus
tice to the gentleman to whom referonce
uaa m a6e
Year: 1871

We hear of a singular adventure with a
snake which happened como time ago in
this county. A gentleman was riding to a
country store With large basket of eggs
on his arm. and finding large black snake
of the constructor species lying across the
road, he attempted to ride over it. Bot
the serpent, not disposed to be treated with
such lndignity, wound itself around The
horses leg and tripped him, throwing the
rider and his eggs in a mess on the ground.
The snake. frightened at the calamity to
the eggs. let go and ran off, and the man
gathered himself up and did likewise.


Lexington Gazette.
Year: 1871

THE Mont GEMS TUNNEL.-A graphic de-
scription is given of the meeting of the
workmen in the Mont Cenis tunnel, five thou
sand feet beneath the summit Of the mountain.
AT the beginning of December the explosions
began to be heard in both branches of the tun-
mel, becoming every day more and more dis
tinct. AT tho beginning of December the
French excavators heard distinctly the blows
of the perferators against the works on the
Italian side. Then the sound of voices was
vaguely heard. But were they going to meet
at the same point and in the same axis? was
the ali-absorbing question. For three days
and three nights engineers, firemen and heads
of gangs on the French side never left the tun-
mel. They could not eat or sleep; every one
was in state of fever. At length, on the
morning of the 26th of December the rock fell
in near the roof. The breach was made and
the two parties could see and shake hands
with each other. The same evening the pas
sage was clear-the last obstacle removed-the
mountain pierced-the great work done! Great
rejoicing followed. The two axes met almost
exactly; there was barely half yard error
The level on the French side was only about
three quarters of yard too high. "a variation
of less than yard in thirteen thousand) At
ter thirteen years Of continual work, who
could even hope for so perfect result? A
marble tablet, suitably inscribed, was placed at
the point of junction to commemorate the
event.
Year: 1871

The McGarraghan claim is soon to appear
again at the Interior Department in an appli-
cation by the New Idria Mining Company for
patent covering the Panoche Grand Rancho.
In the new claim they will seek to remedy the
defects for which Secretary Delano dismissed
their case last summer, among which were the
absence Of evidence that the members of the
company were citizens Of the United States,
and the attempt to obtain title to much
larger tract of mineral land than the law al
lows any one party to hold. 1t will also be
brought before Congress again.
Year: 1871

THE people of New York will have abun-
dant cause to fully celebrate two thanksgiv.
ings, one OF which Gov. Hoffman has appoint
ed for Nov 23d and the other the same that
the rest Of us hope to enjoy, if in the coming
election they shall be able to defeat the small
minority of repeaters and ruffians that have
Tor the past four years, carried the State by
ballot-box stuffing and intimidation in the city
Of New York. If Gov. Hoffman and Senator
Tweed are victorious, they will have cause to
be thankful; but in that event the people W i'll
probably consider that they may be numbered
among those referred to by the President as
suffering scalamities."
Year: 1871

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND INEBRIATEs.-
Bishop Bacon, of New Jersey, who is an Amer
lean by birth, and was educated a Protestant.
in recent address to the clergy of his diocese
said:


TIE dreadful sin of intemperance, destruc-
tive alike to body aud soul. as we all know. is
making the most fearful ravages among our
people. 1t may be said to be the chief cause
of all the sins they commit, and OF all the So
cial evils and dscomforts under which thew
labor L am determined to make use of the
most severe measures against all who are alb
dieted to this scandalous and destructive vice
and if they continue in the practice of it they
must do it as outcasts from the Catholic
Church, who have no right to the name OF
Catholic while they live, nor Christian burial
when they die.


Brigham Young is reported to be going
south, travelling by night, and will not stop
until he reaches the extremity of Arizona.