Year: 1873




Jim Duffy loved. He was not singu-
lar in this-other Duffys had done the
same thing but it was Jim Dufy's pc
culiar fortune that while he loved but
one woman, two women loved him.
Miss Smith was the beautiful blue-eyed
being to whom he had given his heart,
and to whom he would cheerfulIy have
given his liver or his ribs or any other
portion of his framework if the custom
of society had made such an anatomical
surrender proper. Miss Clamn was
was the faded flower who had fixed her
battered and venerable affections upon.
Mr.. Duffy without any provocation hav-
ing been offered by him, and Mr.. Duff
fy hated Clamn with quite as much in
tensity as he loved Smith, because
Clamn would always fasten to him at
the church-meetings and the evening
companies, and gush over to him in the
presence of people, and insist upon his
company home at the very moment
when he had determined to escort Miss
Smith.


And so, when st. Valentines came
round, Duffy thought it would be a
clever idea to send a proposal of mar
riage to Miss Smith, and at the same
time to cool the enthusiasm OF Clamn
with an outrageous comic valentine of
some kind He procured one of these
Immediately, and then wrote to his
only Smith note beginning with
Dearest" and ending with yours till
death. Unhappily, it came to pass
that Mr.. Duffy placed each of these pa
pers in the wrong envelope and while
the comic affair went away to Smith, a
direct proposal proceeded to Jlamn.
Nothing could have been more unfortu-
nate, for no sooner the the aforesaid
Clamn received Duffy's note than she
suddenly did up her back, put on her
bonnet, assumed her umbrella aid gum
shoes, and started by the shortest kdown
route to James Dufy's residence.


When the front door was opened, she
dashed past the hired girl and into the
sitting where. finding Jim read
ing newspaper, she flung her arms
about his neck, dropped her head upon
his shoulders and umbrella upon his
corn, and exclaimed -


Take me, take me, james Take
me, dearest I am yours-yours for
ever p


As soon as Mr.. Duffy regained his
presence of mind, he struggled TO dis
engage himself, while he attempted to
explain to her to her that he should not
take her; that he did not want her
that she was not his forever, or five
minutes and that if she did not re
move her forehead from his vest, and
her umbrella from the vicinity of his
toe, he should be compelled to call the
police. But Miss Clamn would hear no
| explanation. She nestled closer and
closer to his waistcoat, and cried into
his watch-pOcket, and kept plunging
her umbrella about with such errntic
vigor, that Mr.. Duffy's left foot eontin-
ually executed. half of the waltz move
ments in an effort TO save its most sensi-
tive excrescence from torture. But at
last, when Clamn murmured something
about fixing the wedding day and max
ing it soon, Jim Duffy tore himself
away and fled to the garret, where he
| locked the door and tied the trap down
with rope, lest the invincible Clamn
should burst in upon him from that di-
rection.


Meantime, Miss Smith received the
comic valentine, and recognizing Duffy's
handwriting upon the envelope, she
was deeply pained, and she thought she
might indirectly obtain comfort and an
explanation of the matter by calling
upon he bosom friend, the sister Of Mr..
Duffy. SO she sailed out and reached
the house 1t happened by a strange
coincidence that her bonnet and cloak
bore a kind of general resemblance to
those worn by Clamn; and Duffy, when
he heard the door bell ring, looked out
from the garret window, and perfectly
certain that the remorseless Miss Ciamn
had returned for the purpose OF i'm
pressing more firmly upon his mind
that she was his forever, and he could
take her. So Duffy did a most scandal
ous and ungentlemanly thing He en-
tied a bucket of water out Of the win
dow upon the figure below.


Miss Smith went home damp and in
dignant. A little while after her return,
Clamn, being in pursuit Of her Duffy.
called upon Miss Smith, hoping to find
him there. She waited in the parlor
while Miss Smith changed her clothing,
and meanwhile it really occurred to Mr..
Dafy to go to Smiths and ask for an
answer 70 his proposal. 1t was a sunny
day, and snow was upon the ground.
The parlor and entry were gloomy, and
and when Duffy went in, he could hard
" see hand-breadth before him. But
the eye of Miss Clamn was upon him.
As he came into the parlor she fee to
ward him. He perceived the indistinet
outline of a woman's figure. He was Of
course sure that it was Miss Smith, and
| he felt certain that she was about t0 ex-
her feelins by actions rather than in
language. So Duffy folded her ia his
I arms and kissed her forehad, and asked
her If she really loved him. She whis-
pered yes and ~ they stood there,
While his heart overfiowed with Joy, and
be wondered why Miss Smith should
sit in her own parlor with an umbrella
in her hand, the wind blew one Of the
shutters open suddenly, and at the same
moment IN walked Miss Smith


Il was-but no. shall attempt
20 describe that situation. It is IS inn
possible. Everybody was agitated but
Clamm. james Duffy was duInbfouud-
ed and horror-stricken-Mis Smith
was amazed and furious but Clnmm


was collected. she was eooi-she sp-
peared to enjoy everything and she


would probably have fallen upon jim


Duhy's shoulders again and eooedr


merely 70 let Miss Smith see how nies


it was, had not Duffy lodged as be saw