Year: 1875

Marriage Fearful and Risky Business.


am still married, and intend remaining so
for some mouths to come. But marriage is
fearful and risky business. No one knows
what may turn up on either side Temper and
temperament are such peculiar things How
ever 'Allisquiet on the Potomac" The mar
riago service has never been fully written out.
People who marry don't know what they are
promising. The bond should read


You promise to take this man, or this woman,
for life you must not, after this, walk or talk
with any other woman, ii you are man, or any
other man ii you are woman, save in the
most circumSpect and guarded manner; you
must not become interested in any other wO-
man If you are interested you must not show
1t; you must consider your wife or your hus-
band as the Incompatible man or woman in the
universe there must be none other like unto
him or her if there be, or you think there be,
you must, if possible, not believe it, or try not
to believe it; you must now be wholly devoted
to each other; you must also now lay aside
all remembrance, Of your old flames; you
must get rid of the idea that you ever had
any regard for them; if you had, you must try
and make yourself believe you had not; and,
if such notion will stick to you, you must
never mention it to each other, or there will be
row."





that the divine intoxication Of courtship is to
last forever! You think it is always going to
be an ecstatlc pleasure to trudge mile through
mud and rain to buy Seraphine Ann paper of
pins. But this state Of things can't last. It's
too high pressure-it must cool down. When
you are married, aud she is yours and you are
hers, and the novelty of the atf ,ir is over, and
you are fairly settled down into 'old married
folks, then comes the test Then, if you have
been Grabbed old bachelor, full OF little whims,
habits, and peculiarities, as is the fretfu por-
cupine of quills, then will come the tug Of war.
Don you recOllect Row, when single, and you
came home, after some tedious business.
heated, tired, irritable, and disguised with the
| world, and got alone IN your room, that you
used to fling books and blacking brushes about,
and swear and thrash around for an hour or
two before you simmered down into compara
! tive camness? Well, mltrimOny won't cure
this-at least, at first. But you mustn't cut
up so now Even a temporary raVing maniac
IS not proper or a pleasant person for any
young woman to be shut up alone with And
| ii, on entering, she sees trouble on your face,
and asks you: "What's the matter?" and you
reply, "Oh, nothing! because you don't want
to be spoken to, and, above all things, it
annOys and lrritates you to be so interrOgated
and still she persists in asking, "WhntS the
mattAr?' and still you try to say, "Oh, moth
! ing!" as mildly as you can, enly it won't be
said mildly, and it comes off your tongue as a
pIstol-shot, and you would just then like to bite
somebody head Otf--ohl won you at such a
time wonder where the amiabity, the oil, the
sugar, the honey, the sunshine of courtship,
have all gone tO2 And how will you feel
you who have been accustomed to go in and
out of your vile bachelors den without inquiry
or hindrance-how will you feel as you start to
90 out for the purpose of getting a drink
around the corner to hear he say, Where are
you going?' and this a dozen times day
And every time it is asked you must stand and
rack your brains for new lie. And those
girls on the opposite side of the street who are
always at the window, and with whom, before
marriage, you carried on sort of optical frta-
tion-which, to be sure, went no further than
the eyes-hOw do you feel now as you catch
yourself still looking into those windows, and


find your wife regarding you in peculiar man.


ner, and you know that she knows that you


know how she knows all about your goings OF
at those windows2


! But [ have learned a great deal during my
short matrimonial career [ would not have
: remained single if only for the sake of the in


formation I've gained. [ know now, in The
first place, that ones wfo is never in the leas
wrong. If there's row, it you, all you, ana
it's every bit your fault You may labor b!
the hour trying to make her own up that, there
l being one pound avoirdupois or sixteen ounce


of blame between you, you are willing to TAX
+ fifteen ounces Of that blame, provided she vii
t but shoulder the remaining ounca-and sh
j won't! When she says she will be only fv
/ minutes getting ready to go out, it means al
a hour; and when she says she's all ready, i
, means fifteen minutes more for putting on tn
n final touches She may never be CONSIDERS


really dressed until fairly out Of the house an
d round the corner; and even then the chance
,, are that she's forgotten gloves or handkerchief
:, If there was bedroom a mile long, and be
!, entire wardrobe could be packed in band box


still you'd find portions of that wardrobe scat
;, tered along the whole milo of dressing room
t. She nice thing to look at when put together
y but this wonderful creation is evolved from
r. chaos interminabe Of pins, ribbons, rags, pow
" der, thread, brushes, combs, and laces!


If there were seven thousand drawers in you
y room, and you asked but for one to be keI
/ sacred and inviolats for your private use, thi


particular one would be full of hair pins. ril
le bonS, and soiled cuffs Some provision-soT
at protection in this mattsr-should he inserte
er in the marriage service. Prentice Milford.


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