smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

A serious question in the household
is whether Bridget will stand shrinkage
as well as all the rest of the articles of
value that are yielding to the stringency?
The impression is, that it will be hard
to bring the domestic down to hard
pan. That while she is the servant in
name, she is, in most families, the
"mistress of the situation. A friend
says that there is no talk of reducing
Biddy's intrinsic worth. Any shrinkage
in that direction would result in some
thing too near annihilationt to be thought
of but her market price might be the
subject of consideration perhaps of
change. When, during the war, every
thing took an upward turn, Biddy fol-
lowed the general rule, demanded and
got something more than a gold pre-
MUM; but golt has since came down,
which is what she seems in no hurry to
do. Men will find their incomes grow
ing smaller by degrees, and will be
obliged to bear it as best they may, but
any attempt to reduce the wages paid
household servants, relatively the best
paid class among us) would be likely
W raise u SIOIm uO Otuiuhfy iuhA NOuiu
care to encounter. The truth is, as has
been often enough asserted, the female
servants of to-day are, in this country,
the mistresses, and can dictate terms.
The reason is plain enough. While a
man generally understands his business,
and can, at pinch, take the place of an
employe, his wife knows more of almost
ANYTHING else than she does of house
hold affairs, and when left without SER
wants is totally helpless. Of course,
under such circumstances, Bridget will
make stout resistance to any reduction
of wages, and her mistress must make
up her mind to curtail in something
else unless she should get sudden fit
of good sense and conclude to do part,


at least, of her own work.
Year: 1873

BoYs.-When you see a boy willing
to taste strong drink, you may rightly
suppose that he will become drunkard.


When you see boy looking out for
himself, and unwilling to share good
things with others, It is sign that he
will grow up to be selfish man.


When you see boys rude to each
other, you may know that they will
become disagreeable men.
Year: 1873

A BoY's PoLIrENEss.-''Th other
day We were riding in q crowded car.
At one of the stations an old gentleman
entered, and was looking around him
for a seat, when q lad ten or twelve
years of age rose up and said, Take my
seat, sir. The offer was gladly ac-
cepted, and the infrm old man sat
down.


"'Why did you give me your seat ?''
he inquired of the boy. Because you
are aged, and L am boy was the
quick reply. For my part. wanted to
take the little fellow and press him to
my heart. 1t was respect for age,
which is always praiseworthy."
Year: 1873

An Iowa woman brags that she could
have married two men a day for the
past two years, if she had any use for
such rubbish. As she has rich coal
mine and backing cough, her state
ment has an air Of reliability.
Year: 1873

At a candy-pull recently the two-gal


lon pot full of blazing liquid was put
out in the yard TO cool, while the iolity
went on inside. The cats corpse was re-
moved and the candy given to the poor.
Year: 1873

THE BEE THAT WANTED LOBSTER.-My
aunt was once lame, so that she had to
stay in one room all day long, and her
dinner was always carried to her. One
day bee flew in the open window and
alighted on the pear which she was eat
ing.


There he stayed till he had eaten
enough and every day after that he
came in at the same hour, and found
some fruit ready for him. Once he
came earlier than usual and as the
fruit was not cut, he thought he would
try some lobster.


Was not that an odd thing for bee
to choose? He seemed to like it very
well, and began to saw off little piece.
This he rolled over, and then, tucking
it under his wing, flew with it out of
the window, and away over the garden.


In a few minutes he came back
again, sawed of another piece, twice as
large as the first, and again flew away
with it. Then my aunt called the chill
dren to come and see her pet, and as
soon as they were quiet the bee came
back. We all watched him as he busily
tugged away at the lobster, this time
taking piece half as large as his body.


He was gone about five minutes, then
came back for more. When he found
the lobster had been taken away, and
that some nice peaches and pears were
on the table, he was very angry, and
flew round and round the table, but
would not touch the fruit.


My aunt laid nice, juicy piece OF
pear on the edge of the plate to tempt
him /; but he became quite mad, and
buzzed about the room, bounced against
the window and went out. He soon
came back with another bee, and they
seemed very angry because they could
have no more lobster. They buzzed
around the head of each person in the
room, and then went out of the window.
After that the pet bee never came again,
although the window was left open for
him. He could never forgive my aunt
for sending away his favorite dish.


have often wondered what he did
with the lobster he carried of.
Year: 1873

The Proud LITTLE WREN.-One fine
spring evening very pretty cock-taileG
wren was sitting on twig. 1t was his
birthday; he was twelve months old


and, feeling every inch a wren, he could
not help being proud both of himself
and his position in the world.


Fhe first thing that morning, he had
had a set-to with his wife on the sub
ject OF their future nest, which she had
meekly suggested, should be in the
box-tree, instead of the thorn-bush on
which he insisted; she was afraid that
the branches would prick her sides,
she said. He had carried the day, but
declared that he was so worn out by the
discussion that he could not really be-
gin building that day. As he flew over
the grass-plat, much content with his
victory, he saw a large worm lazily
numbering out OF its hole, and fell down
upon it directly; but, after smart
tussle and good shaking, it succeeded
In getting back into its home.


Presently blue tit, hair's-breadth
smaller than himself, came flying down
past him on fat caterpillar upon which
the wren had just set his eye. 'That's
mine % said he, pouncing angrily upon
it, and successfully driving away the
tomtit. As he sat on his prey, twitter-
ing boastfully, an old gardener, half
blind, passed by, leisurely eating his
bit OF dinner, and cutting his bread and
cheese upon his thumb. He hoped
angrily after the mans heels, and pur-
sued him for some distance; the old
gardener, however, did not turn, and
walked quietly on, quite unaware of the
attack of his ferocious assailant.


"Wen, I've chased away that dread
full monster = said the wren, painting
for breath. 'What an ugly beast it is,
and when he has all the advantages OF
two legs like me why doesn't he learn
to hop prettily, even if he can't fly?
And then those two great awkward,
tapping things that hang by his sides,
which he fills his mouth with-how
much better it is to pick up ones food
neatly with bill, as 1 dor


Wnen the evening was come he re-
turned to his twig, and looked back on
his days WORK with much complacency.
Il gave my wife good set-down about
the nest" though he. "I frightened
that worm well a. to that most tire
some, stupid tit, 1 3on't think he'll
trouble me soon again And then 1
drove away the great, big, awkward
thing on two legs, that was prying
about where our nest is to be- / don't
think he'll be back in hurry! To be
sure am SO great and strong ano DOW
erful that, even if the sky itself sholld
fall down, 1 should not be afraid ~ ha
tapped his wings maiestically as he
spoke. At that moment, in the gloam
ing, deaf leaf, which still hung to q
beech twig above the wren, fell down
upon his head, and, in a perfect agony
of fright, he flew away and hid himself.
Year: 1873

To THE EDITOR OF THE HERALD


You are big power in this world. was much
moved with your powerful words about poor Mast.
One gentleman who wrote yesterday said this
could not be in any other country. II IT had been
in England Mast by this time would have been
raised to the peerage for his transcendent
genius. LOOK at that carlcaturist Leech, who
used to draw for that scurrlous paper, Punch,
Didn't they make him peer and set apart ior
downtrodden people to support MIN IN luxury
But although am poor in pocket, still am fertile
in my praise OF genius l am not politician,
never having had the necessary education. can
not send you 500 nor 100 cents, but enclose you
for noble, disinterested Mast chew OF tobacco


OUR GLORIOUS CONSTITUTION.
Year: 1873

To TUE EDITOR OF THE HERALD:-


The public ought to be thankful for the impartial
neryou insert letters commenting on the stokes
trial 1t was certainly very remarkable trial and
remarkable verdict-for stupidity II not something
worse. But what wish TO comment on particu-
larry is the unjust, unprofessional and wholesale
manner In which Mr.. Tremain attacked every per-
son unfortunate enough TO be in any way con-
nected with the case. HIS assault on Recorder
Hackett especially was unjust uncalled for and
professional, and, while IL has not Injured the char
acter OF that honorable gentleman, IL mas given Mr..
Tremain reputation among his brethren OF the
Bar which they neither envy nor admire.


Let me ask how far ethics will justify lawyer In
going such casesS Can he unJustly attack people
the plea that IL is In the line OF his professional
duty LAWYER.


NEW YORK, Nov. 0, 1879.
Year: 1873

To THE EDITOR OF THE HERALD:-


On reading this days HERALD ind that our
friend Mr.. Mast is down almost to zero, and asked
the question, Can 1t be possible that man who
has labored 30 faithfully to picture the exemplary
morality, self-denial and tender Christian pro-
clivities of our nationality be permitted to wans
while we, who have attained such envied
eminence in society through the zealousness OF
his labor, have even one cent to spare9 No, this
must not be. MY heart overnowng with tender
gratitude, was resolved TO be one In the ranks OF
rescue, and come forward with my mite which
the late financial panic and the great amount OF
moderation am forced to use IN my monetary
aflairs, and by an addition from fellow workman,
amounts to one dime. T. w. OIRISHMEN.
Year: 1873

To THE EDITOR OF THE HERALD


Please find enclosed ten cents for the Nasty
Artist Fund. 1t Is all wish to give to the artist
who is the author OF those water closet cartoons
in the Journal OF Civilization. did not appreciate
them at drst but am now getting civilized. am


TIM MCCAN, county OF Tipperary.
Year: 1873

To THE EDITOR OF THE HERALD


Seeing the touching appeal Of yours In the
HERALD, have been in doubt for the last few days
whether should send to you the sum intend TO
give to Mr.. Mast, you who are so reckless In
spending hundreds OF thousands Of dollars for the
purpose OF obtaining the earliest and truest in
formation from the four quarters Of the globe for
the benefit OF the two three millions OF the
HERALD's readers, but recollecting what pleas
ure and benefit / derived from the same, and
willing to aid any object Of distress, no matter how
nasty it may be, and believing that poor Mr.. Mast
has been badly treated by Mr.. Grant and the
Messrs. Harpers, all God-earing, religious and
Christian men, who would not knowingly do In
appeal to make them come forward, raise him up,
wash, clean and cl0the him. and smooth down his
beautiful locks with an embeished ivory comb.
For the latter purpose please nnd enclosed three
cents AN ADMIRER OF MAST.
Year: 1873

The porter Of a Detroit store
heard a voice in the alley as he was
locking up the other night, and he
investigated to flud that au cid man
had taken possession of a hogshead
for the night, and that he was pray
ing. The old fellows petition went
right to the heart of the porter, and
he called him out and questioned
him, and finally gave him a dollar.
He went TO the front of the store to
lock it, and while he was gone the
praying man stole his new coat and
a pair of boots, and made good his
escape.
Year: 1873

In Seville, which is popularly supposed
to he in Spain, there is in use a most To-
licitous invention in the way OF making
lpve-claadestinely After dark young
cabelleros steal behind their lady lattice
which. perchancc, is in the third story
--and softly unscrewing Tie handles oi
their walking sticks, proceed TO extract
from the same length, after length ofhol
low tubing, screwiug them together after
the fashion of a japanese fishing pole, OF
the old apparatus whcrewth sweeps clean
chimnevs. A mouthpivc; is fitted to each
end and one aised to the window above.
Soon, by the aid of this improved speak
ing tube. two souls with a certain una
nimity Of thought and two hearts with
possible unison Of palpitation, are softly
eommuning Now, this is all very nice,
seductivcly romantic. and all that sort OF
thing, but mark what the knowledge OF
it brought 70 certain youth in Bait


more. lie had read of it, or heard Of it,
and happening to have surreptitious al
fection for young and wealthy lady,
which she as epiitiously reciprocated,





avail themselves oft lie got tin pipe
Of the desired length made by timer,
and in each end of it placed. for want Of
u mouthpiecc, funnel Delicious con
versation went on, he sitting on top Of q
water barrel, and she lie ming from her
window above. They would converse
for hours, and exchange all the soft non.
sense in the world. and then he would
unship his apparatus, put the funnel in
his pocket. wrap the pieces up in news
paper, and 60 home in condition Of
ETHEREAL bliss. The course of true love
never did run smooth. and one evening
the old gentleman, smoking in the back
garden at an unusual late hour, saw the
young gentleman arrive, fix up his appa-
iatus and commenced his soul commun


eating operations. He made up his min |
in minute lie went into the kitchen
and asked for pitcher Of boiling water
it was handed 20 him, and he posted up
stairs. just as he reached his daughters
door he commenced calling to her. SO,
telling her lover to wait moment, she
came to the door Nellie, my dear,
run up to my room aud get my specta
cles. I'll wait here till you come down. e"
She disappeared up stairs, and he stole
cautiously to the window. The minute
he touched the funnel the amorous and
unsuspecting youth clapped his mouth
to It to resume where he had broken Off
My darling, you cannot imagine how
-" Jus. then the old gentleman com
menced assidaously fllling the funnel
with the hot water, and the rest OF that
miserable youths sentence was never
heard. He wore -four on his face for n
fortnight after and declines to go into
society just at present.
Year: 1873

llew TO FEED PARROTS A correspon-
dent who has had one parrot thir'y'fv
years recommends Indian corn (on the
coh) as the birds staff Of life. lie adds
i" All kinds OF grain are good feed A,
times for treat give her nuts Of any
kind. a boiled potato, and now and then
chicken bone TO pick, and pur water to
drink. Put soft pine wood where the
bird can bite it, thereby exercising her
bill. Let her have both as often rs you
like Fresh air and plenty Of light arc
desirable, Avoid all soft or soaked food
grease and salt "
Year: 1873

DANBuRY MACKEREL When woman
puts three mackerel to soak over night
in dish-pan whose sides are eight inch


cs high, and leaves the pan on q stair
way. she has accomplished her mission
and should go hence. This was what a
Division street woman did Friday night.
Filled the pan at the pump, and then left
it standing on the steps to the stoop
while she went into the next house to
see how many buttons would be required
to go down the front Of redingote. And
mighty important affair that was, 10 be
ssssssss Ay!.sters was Ter husband tear
ing through the house in search of &
handkerchief, and not finding it, ol
course. And then he rushed out into
the yard, wondering where on earth that
woman could be, and started down ths
steps without seeing the pan, or even
dreaming that any one ecu Il be so idiot
ica to leave it there or course he
stepped on il; or, at least, that is the
opposition, rs the ncighbors who were
brought out by the crash that followed
saw horriied man and high dish pan


and three very demoralized mackerc
shooting across the garden and smash
ing down the shrubbery. And he was :
nice sight, was that unhappy man, wher
they got him on bis feet There wasn'
dry thread ON him, and his hair was
full Of bits Of mackerel, and Que OF bis
shoulders was out Of joint, and his GOA
was split the whole length of his back
and hc appeared to be out Of his head
He was carried in the house by some o
the men, while others went after a doc
tor, and sixteen women assembled in thu
front room and talked in whispers abou
the inscrutable ways of providence, anc
what warning this was to people wht
never looked where they were going.
Year: 1873

To CLEAN MERINo.-Grate two or
three large potatoes; add to them pint
of cold water; let them stand for short
time and pour of the liquor clear, when
it will be fit for use. Lay the 'merino on
a fiat surface and apply the liquid with a
sponge till the dirt is completely extract.
ed. Dip each piece in pailful Of clean
water and hang up to dry without wiring


ing Iron while damp on the wrong side.
1t will then appear almost equal to new.
Year: 1873

~ At late railroad baggage sale in
Connecticut man purchased a trunk in
which was 636. 900 confederate money,
every bill being new aud crisp. 1t is
thought it must have been stolen from
the rebel printing bureau during The first
years Of the war.
Year: 1873

warranted not to cut in the eye--not head
ache in a hhds. Of tit Is no sooner in your
belly than its on your back in a pound of beet
and 1t carries bead like necklace; for
sale by


GEORGE AUSTIN.
Year: 1873

According to all accounts, the be-
gemmed and befussed Shah OF Persia is
hog in human form. His behavior
is swinish even in the presence Of ladies
and the crowned heads of Europe.
Destitute of anything approaching po-
liteness, he brutally ignores the most
ordinary courtesies and decencies of
civilization, and is on an equality with
the stupid heathen cattle over whom he
rules. This is the successor of Darius,
Cyrus, Xerxes, and other Persian rulers
of history. The chief effect Of his
journey through Europe appears to be
one of intense disgust, and no wonder.
Queen Victoria was disguised and
shocked beyond all measure by his
boorishness and ignorance of all social
amenities. He not only ignored the
knife and fork, and ate his victuals with
his hands, but he threw the bones he
had picked under the table, and then
wiped his dirty paws on the table-cloth.
DR.. Russell writes to the London Times
concerning this royal hogs visit to vi
emma: "But in spite of his jewels and
extended splendor, the Shah-in-Shah is,
according to European notions, savage
in many respects-proud, willful, sensu-
al and arbitrary. If punctuality be the
politeness of princes, as it is said to be,
the Shah would, in consequence of his
indifference to engagements, be one of
the most ill-mannsred men in the world.
He kept the parade at Potsdam, ordered
by the Kaiser, waiting n couple of
hours. He kept the Queen for half an
hour at railway station waiting for him.
He would not go to breakfast when it
was announced, at the time of invita-
ton, but walked about in the garden,
and then, seeing an arbor which pleased
him, desired to have his breakfast
brought there. When he sat at dinner,
yesterday, he put his fingers into his
plate and ate with them, and if he came
on piece of some dish which he did
not like, he took it out of his mouth and
threw it down-not on the ground, but
on the Queens (Empress's)- dress. If
free from the more horrid vices attribu-
ted to the Persians by travellers, he is
quite without shame or scruple in his
disregard of what is called morality by
Christians and Musselmans came
home from Potsdam in the same car
riage with some of his suit-very fine
gentlemen as far as their lace and
clothing went-but with the frivolty
and arrogance of ignorant and unedu-
Gated men. Their talk was their own
prowess and of clothes how they could
ride better than any people in the
world, because they could back horse
from the desert and ride him, whereas
Europeans ride only horses which were
already broken in"
Year: 1873

The Commissioner of Customs has
just prepared report for the use of the
Secretary of the Treasury on the
amounts of custom frauds on the Gov
ernment for the fiscal year ending the
Both of last month. These frauds
represent cases settled by the depart
ment, and show to what an alarming ex-
tent the system of swindling is carried
on. An exact copy tf the figures in the
report show the frauds in each city for
the year, as follows
Year: 1873

The Kendallville Standard states it
rather neatly in this way: "Last Satur-
day gentleman in this city stubbed
his toe quite severely against trouble
some peddler who had twice daFkened
his door.
Year: 1873

but our heroine, with a stick and the
barking of the dogs, compelled Bruin
TO take a sober second thought, and,
taking up position on lower limb,
with eyeballs of fire he stared at the
scene below; but our huntress was not
to be dismayed by the presence of her
horrible companion, but stood guard
until about ten o'clock, when her
husband and another man came to her
assistance. She then started for home
through the deep canyons and gorgos
of the mountains, entirely alone, and
it was midnight when she safely ar
rived at her own dwelling.


The next morning, as soon as il was
sufficiently light, the bear was shot.
He proved to be one of the largest of
those known as the cinnamon variety.
Year: 1873

The Roseburg, Oregon, Plaindealer
relates: A correspondent, writing
from Canyonville, SENDS us the follow
ing interesting incident which occurred
near that place: About ten days since
Henry Bland and his wife, of Can
yonyille Precinct, went out into the
mountains to look after their sheep.
When about three miles from home
his two dogs got after a bear, and, af-
ter a severe chase, succeeded in COM
pelling the bear te climb a tree. About
the time Mr.. Bland and his wife reach
ed the foot of the tree another fero-
cious bear suddenly put in an ap-
pearance, and savagely attacked the
dogs in the immediate presence of Mr..
and Mrs. Bland. The fight now be-
came animated and furious, dogs and
bear rolling over each other in the
death struggle down steep mountain
into the canyon below. BLAND was
armed with Henry rifle, but dared
not shoot for fear of killing his dogs.
Now came the question how to rescue
the dogs only two cartridges were in
the rifle, and these had TO be used to
the best advantage. Mrs. Bland urged
her husband to go to the assistance of
the dogs while she, alone and unarmed,
undertook took to keep the ferocious
monster up the tree. He started down
into the canyon, to where the conflict
was raging, guided by the growls and
yelps Of the dogs and bear. He arriv-
not a moment too soon, for Bruin was
evidently getting the best of it, and
would only be pacified by the last shot
from the now empty rifle.


II was dark when Bland returned to
his wife at the foot of the tree. The
situation was anything but hattering,
The empty rife was of little use, and
upon the determination of Mrs. Bland
to sit up with the bear, he started fol
home for more ammunition. The lady
being reinforced by the bleeding dog;
now felt that she was mistress of the
situation. With no fire, far from home
in the midst Of eraggy mountains, thii
indomitable lady held at bay ont


of the most ferociOus monsters of thu


forest. The bear, not liking his new
home, determined to descend the tree