smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1871

THE DEACON AND THE ROAST CHICKEN.
Some twenty-five years ago, Deacon p,
good citizen of our town, was taken i'll with
fever. The doctor was sent for, the good old
deacon went through with the fever and there


was but little prospect OF his getting well, lie


was so weak. He was dreadful hungry all
the time, so much so that he used to dream OF
good things to eat, and when he awoke aud
found it all dream, was terribly disappoint-
ed. The doctor absolutely forbade his eating
anything but thin cruel, and small allow
ance even of that. Now the deacon thought
he might as well die one way as another, and


was not going to be starved if he could help
it. One morning as he lay ON his bed half
asleep, he saw his vile pass through the room


with roast chicken, which she was going to
put in the closet of the room adjoining, to
keep for supper He quickly resolved to eat
that fowl himself, so when his wife returned


he called her TO the bedside and said shat he


believed be could get some sleep if she would
not enter the room during the forenoon, and


would also keep the children from making
any noise." To this she willingly assenteJ,
and when she left he made all the exertions
in his power to ''get up and get" tor that
chicken. He was feartully weak, bnt hunger
drove him on, and after severe trial, and Cb-
tanning the fowl, he crawled back to bed
Wasn't it delicious, and didn't he roll the saw
ory morsels under his tongue nor did he stop
till all was eaten. What 10 10 with the bones
was the next thing. He was too weak to get
up, so he put them under his pillow and went


to sleep feeling much refreshed with his meal.


When he awoke the doctor was there who
congratulated his patient upon the marked
improvement in his appearance, remarking
"that he knew the medicine left the day pre-
vious would have an astonishing good effect"
This made the deacon smile, as well it might.


Now the wife thought that with the doctors


assistance, it would be capital chance to get


her husband up and make the bed. He pro-


tested against it, but finally assented, and the


good woman in pulling off the sheet brought
the pile of bones to the floor. If ever there


was surprised female it was the deacon's


wife. She looked at the deacon, and the dea-
con looked at her, and finally told his story.
The listeners were Mortified, fearing that
death would speedily ensue from such q meal
by a sick man. "Don't trouble yourself about
that, for the chicken was all needed" said
the deacon, sand l am going to have another
one tomorrow, as the one ate to-day has


had most astonishing good effect" The
doctor protested against it, bnt it was Of no
avail; the deacon's dander was rlz, and by
means of a generous diet he was up and about
his business in ten days time.


If you want to make the old deacon laugh
any time, just remark, 'who confscated ths
chicken ?"-GlOucester Adcertiser.
Year: 1871

IMPORTANCE OF RTAprso NO matter
how obscure the position in life OF IN il.
dividual, il he can read, he may at will
put himself in the best society the world
has ever seen. He may sit down with the
good and great men Of antiquity. He
may converse with Franklin and Wash.
ington with all the writer's in prose and
poetry. He may learn how to live, how
to avoid the errors Of his predecessors,
and secure blessings, present and future,
to himself He may reside in = desert far
away from the habitations OF man; in
solitude, where no human eye looks up.
on him with affection or interest; where
no human voice cheers him with the ami
mating tones, if he has books to read,
he need never be alone. He may choose
his company and the subject Of eonver.
ton, and thus become contented and
happy, intelligent, wise, and good He
thus elevates his rank in the world, and
becomes Independent in the best sense OF
the term. Reading, then, stands among
the frstn Importance Of the departments
Of school education.
Year: 1871

HONOR rnE SCISSORS. Some people
ignorant OF what good editing is, imag-
inc the getting up Of selected matter to
be the easiest work in the word to do,
whereas it is the incest work tuat 10 done
on tho paper. II they find the editor
with scissors in hand, they are sure to
say, "Oh! that's the way you get up
original matter eh !' accompanying their
new and witty questions with an idiotic
wink or smile The facts are, that the in
terests, the morality. the variety and
usefulness Of paper depend in no small
degree upon its selected matter, and few
men are fully capable Of the position
who would not themselves be able to
write many Of the articles they select. A
sensible editor desires considerable Sc
leeted matter, because he knows that one
mind cannot make so good a paper as
five OF six.--AmNiean Newspapr Re-
porter.
Year: 1871

If there be Southern men who IN the
election in Mississippi in 1869, attached
themselves to the Republican organiza-
ton in good faith on the ground that il
would pursue policy of Cancellation and
leniency toward the South, they must
now be convinced that their confidence
has been abused. Instead of Universal
Amnesty, we have had continuation OF
prescription. Ard now in the passage OF
the resolution in t1e Z. S. Senate con-
stituting an Inquisition for the punish
ment of her people, they have made open
declaration of a renewal of hOstlhties.
What say the class of so-called Republi-
cans to whom we have referred, to this
last act of preneditated outrage? Have
they not been hasely deceived? Is there
any reason which appeals to their patri-
otism, and to their professed desire to do
the best they we're able for their owR
people, longer to place their trust in the
Radical party? Can they do it consit-
emily with their own professions Is it
not time for them to hke an open stand
against it?
Year: 1871

don't think that fortune has got any
favorites. She was born blind, and no
tice them who win the oftenest go it blind
too.


The heart is wife of the head, and we
who have tried it, all know how persuas-
i've the wife is, especially when she wants
something.


consider a weak man more dangerous
than a malicious one; malicious men
have character, but weak ones don't have
any.


/ have noticed one thing, that the most
virtuous and discreet folks We have
among us all are those who have either
no patience at all, or very tame ones; 1t
is great deal easier to be a good dove
than a decent serpent.


Hunting after health Is like hunting at
ter feas, the more you hunt them the
more they flea.


Take the selfshness out of this world,
and there would be more happiness than
we should know what to do with.
Year: 1871

A Poor SHow.-It is noteworthy that
the papers accompanying Grants mes
sage sounding the note for the renewal of
the war of prescription against the South,
bear date from four to six years ago. 1t
Is the old story told over again.
Year: 1871

There is a very general outcry against
the enormous wages paid in many of the
counties to teachers of the public schools.
In many instances their salary is fixed as
high as $3.50 per month. Competent
+eschero can be employed for half the
amount.
Year: 1871

As the subject of taxation is one in which
nearly all persons are interested, we pro-
pose to give a comparative statement for
the benefit of eur readers, and 10 show
them the increased amount they are com.
PEELED 70 pay under the Radical rule, and
for the privilege of living under officers
chosen mostly by the non-taxpaying people
of the State-or at least the majorities were
ruled by that class.


The statement we give has reference only
TO Franklin county; but we presume the
same ratio of increase will apply to any
other county in the State.
Year: 1871

A Connecticut paper has this story: Some
time ago gawky-ooking individual entered
blacksmth's shop in a country town in that
State and applied for job, in voice in perfect
keeping with the stupidity of his physiognomy.
His awkward, ungainly and uncouth personal
appearance impressed the smithies with the idea
that they saw before them an object of prospect
i've merriment. So they quzzingly asked him IL
he could de all sorts of forging. Upon his an
swering afirmatively, the boss" winking to
the workmen handed him a bar of cast-iron, and
told him to try his hand in forging some horse
shoes. The greeny, in his persevering efforts to
make the treacherous metal stick, afforded much
amusement to the other smiths. When dinner
time came the greenhorn had not made much
headway towards constructing SHOE but he
kept at work until the last man had gone to din
ner then suddenly dropping the bar of cast-iron,
he made directly for one of the other forges and
selected the best pair of tongs he could find,
and in an incredibly short space of time, he had
converted the jaws of the tongs into perfect
horseshoe. Then he slipped along to the next
forge, and repeated the trick and thus he left
his compliments to the three forges. When the
blacksmith and his "jours" returned from
dinner, they found the verdant-looking fellow
astrde of an anvil With mourful, disconsolate,
woe-begone countenance, comical to behold.
He was greeted with the inquiry, /" How do you
get along making horse-shoes? Amt sorry you
learned the trade, are your


The object of their jest replied, ave knocked
out three shoes, all cept cutting of the spurs"
Then he held the tongs, or rather what were
once tongs, before their astonished gaze. AS
the idea that they had been victimzed gradually
dawned on the minds of these deciples of Vul-
can, their heightened and ludicrous vsages
were interesting to behold. Like the profane
man, who, when the hindboard of his cart came
out as he was driving up hill with load of
apples, and scattered his cargo along the road,
so with them-swearing couldn't do justice to
their feelings. 1t turned out that the verdant-
looking chap was "boss blacksmith in New
Haven shop, and was considered one of the best
workmen in the country.
Year: 1871

THE VALUE OF A SCRAP BooK.--An who take
newspaper which they in the least appreciate,
will often regret to see any one number thrown
aside for waste paper which contains some in
teresting and important articles. A good way to
preserve these is by the use of scrap book.
One who has never been accustomed thus to pre-
serve short articles, can hardly estimate the
pleasure it affords to sit down and turn over the
pleasant familiar pages. Here a choice piece of
poetry meets the eye, which you remember you
were so glad to see in the paper, but which you
so long since would have lost had it not been
for your scrap book. There lie witty anecdote
that does you good to laugh over, even though
for the twentieth time next valuable receipt
you had almost forgotten, and which you have
found just in time to save much perplexity /;
there is a sweet little story, the memory of which
has cheered and encouraged you many time
when almost ready to despair under lifes cares
and trials. Indeed you can hardly take up a
paper without finding something in it. Just
glance over the sheet before you, and see how
many valuable items it contains that would be
of service to you a hundred times life. A
choice thought is far more precious than bit
of glittering gold. Hoard with care the prec-
ious gems and see at the end of the year what a
rich treasure you have accumulated
Year: 1871

RULES FOR LADIEs,--l. Marry not a profane
man, because the depravity of his heart will cor
rupt your children and embitter your existence.


o. Marry not gambler, tippler or a haunter
of taverns, because he who has no regard for
himself, will never have any for his wife.


3. Marry not man who makes promises
which he never performs, because you can never
trust him.


A. Marry not man whose actions do not cor
respond with his sentiments, because the pas
sions have dethroned reason, and he is prepared
to commit every crime to which an evil nature
unrestrained can instigate him. The state OF
that man who regards not his own ideas of right
and wrong is deplorable, and the less you have
to do with him the better.


5. Marry not who is in the habit of
running after all the girls in the country, be-
cause the affections are continually wavering,
and therefore can never be permanent.


9. Marry not man who negllcts his busi-
ness if he does so when single, III will do worse
when married.
Year: 1871

MAN with an enormously large mouth called
on dentist to have tooth drawn. After the
dentist had prepared his instrument, and was
about to commence operations, the man began
to strain and stretch his mouth till he got it to
frightful width. "Stay, sir" said the dentist,
+" don't trouble yourself to stretch your mouth
any wider, for intend to stand outside of it to
draw your tooth"
Year: 1871

In drilling wrought iron, use one pound of
soft soap, mixed with gallon of boiling water.
This is cheap lubricator it insures working
With great ease, and clean cutting by the drill.
Year: 1871

ST. PAUL's CHURCH HohE.-The annual
meeting Of the st. PauPs Church Home
will be held tonight at 8 o'clock, in the
lecture-room of st. PauFs Church. We
bespeak the favor and sympathy of the
public In behalf of this institution. Orig
mating in the necessity of providing for
some orphans who could not be received
elsewhere, this Home for the poor and the
needy, and the orphans in the days of their
pupilage, has grown into one of our great
institutions of genuine charity. The train
ing of the children Is all that will fit them
for their probable sphere Of life and be.
yond that the religious instruction and
moral education which prevails make this
Home blessing to its recipients, and we
trust the public will ever give it its counte-
nance. Supported exclusively by the con-
gregation of St. PauPs Church, sympathy
rather than positive assistance is needed on
the part of the public at large. We trust
full attendance on this interesting occasion
will encourage the faithful and iaborious
Board of Managers.
Year: 1871

SCARCITY OF WATER.-We are informed
by prominent gentleman residing in the
county of Henrico, that great inconveni.
ence is still experienced in the county
owing to the scarcity of water, many wells
being entirely dry. The citizens of that
county are looking with great hope to the
recent snow and hail which, when melted,
will restore the water in the wells to its
usual level.
Year: 1871

! REAPpoRTroNMENT.-Th committee Of
twenty-four Of the Conservative members
of the General Assembly had meeting last
night in the Hall OF the House OF Delegates,
when both the plans Of Speaker Turner and
Senator Penn were submitted and tho.
roughly discussed, and both rejected aud
recommltted to the sub-joint committee,
one additional Senator being added to that
committee, making the REPRESENTATION In
the subcommittee equal as to the two
Houses. The meeting was O protracted
one, and the discussion quite warm.
Year: 1871

COMMENTING, in terms of sympathy
which find an echo in, every heart, upon
the recent disastrous fires at Chicago and
other localities in the West, some of our
city papers speculate upon the prospect of
these sad yisitahons turning the tide of inn
migration to Virginia, incoming foreigners
probably being deferred from going West,
and possibly families who have lost their
homes in the Inflated localities, turning
their faces to Virginia.


In this connection we hear the old famil-
lar cry of welcome. We would receive as
we should, that addition to our population
sent by Providence, with cordiatity and
kindness, and would endeavor to make Vu-
ginio a pleasant home TO them.


Little do those who utter these pleasant
syllablcs, realize tie stuff Of which the
hardy men are made who have carved the
cities and villages of the West out Of the
primeval forests or they are insincere in
what they say; or their actions in the past
are no indication of their intentions for the
future.


The men who cross a stormy ocean in
search of liberty under Republican institu-
tions, will avoid State where it is boldly
announced that Republicnaism is bm a
name, and where social rank is not only the
stamp, but the c,nrea unlue Of man.


The men who have made the West what
it is, and who are following the star Of en-
pire on its westward way, will not be de-
ceiyed by such an ignis fatuus as is dane
ing over the inhospitable social and financial
quagmires of Virginia, under its present
rule or ruin policy, and proclaimed to be a
cordial welcome. The tide of immigration
will not set in Yirginiawards until there is
assurance of more federation, let alone cor
dial welcome than has hecn extended to
those who have thus far sought homes
within her borders.
Year: 1871

Sat Lake, October 2l.-The poligamy
trials are progressing. The Mormons plead
that they had no intention of committing
crime in the plurality of marriages that
the intention is essential to conviction, and
that they could not be guilty of adultery,
because they were married according to the
usages of the Mormon church.


A number Of additional arrests for
lasciviousncss have been made.
Year: 1871

Batt'more, October 20.-The report Of
the Committee on the state of the Church
is generally cheerful, but it says they can
not, however, close their eyes to the fact
that In the Southern and Southwestern
dloceses there is still great weakness and
depression. and the recovery of the church
IN those older Jurisdictions from their great
calamlties and deep poverty has not been
as rapid as was hoped AID most earnestly
desired.


An elaborate discussion is progressing
over the joint report on the ritual.
Year: 1871

Gov. BrOss's residence, and yet at
night Ii blooms as bluely and visor-
ously as il il were refreshed by the


watering. As the darkness deepeHs.
the show increases in trilliancy, until,
by most lovely effect of reflection,
the blaze from the unquenched fires
strikes the clouds of smoke that hang
over the city, and turns them to
brilliant rose. The pillar of cloud be-
comes pillar of fire, and all at once
the dead luster Of this reflected light
falls back upon the ruins and brings
them out into pale and singular dis
tinctneSs. 1t is not possible TO imag-
inc anything more terribly beautiful
than this wild commerce OF fire and
the darkness. From my window i
see the whole sweep of the vast illu-
mination. On the left a coal heap
stretches beyond the river like shore
If fira; q boat on this side is blackly
pain e athwart the the blaze. The
sky is flushed Nth the flame and mot
tied with driving clouds and against il
loom the ragged and torn walls of the
Pacific Hotel, the sturdy arch of the
First Presbyterian Church, and fur
ther to the right the broken outlines OF
the ourt-HOuse, far more reverend
and grateful than ever in their fOrl0rn
incompleteness. All along the red
horizon the coal heaps blaze and the
sky is on fire, and the sharp angles of
broken walls, and the slim stems of
black chimneys like minarets are
drawn sharply on the crimson back
ground. do not know if it could he
in the reach of painting to give any
hint of the unutterable magic of this
spectacle. Nosunset was ever so rosy
as that smoky sky. No frost-castle
built on window. pane outOf achilds
breath was ever more delicate than
those fantastic ruins flung like tattered
lace against the drifting clouds. On
the extreme right just within the yell
low blaze of the light that guards the
breakwater of the great Central Eleva-
tor towers above the shore Struggling
its vast shoulders over the desOlatior,
contemplating its mirrored bulk 10y
the Pickering blaze of its fallen COM
paniOn. After all this revel of form aud
color it is Il relief to look to the East
where lake Michigan lies i'm his night
dress OF mist and whispers as peaceful
iv to the sandy beach as he did in the
days before Columbus, and as he will
in the days after Jonathan.
Year: 1871

The New York OBSERVER is
about celebrating its jubilee enter.
ing upon its fiftieth year in 1872. 1t
is one ofthe oldest newspapers in the
country, one of the ablcst, and one
OF the most steaIfaSt and fearless in
maintaining the truth in religion. the
right in morals, and honesty in all
public and private affairs. Il an
nounces for the coming year. the
publication Of the second volume of
its Year Book; a vast repository of
information. statistical and otherwise
relating both to Church and Stat,
which will be sent free to all who
pay their subscription for ls72.-
Specimen copies Of the paper, with
prospectus for the year book, sent
free on application from any source.
New Subscribers will receive tie pa
per free until january lst
Year: 1871

One Sunday recently Methodist
preacher in Iowa advised the sisters to
mortify Satan by giving their iewelry
To the church OH the next Sabbath
evening. The result was a galvanized
watch aud three brass finger rings
They are a mean setof sinners, " said
the parSon.
Year: 1871

part with the bright scenes around
them; sad to part with their loved
teachers; sad to break the associations
that, like the links of q golden chain,
have bound them to their young COM
panions, never to be reunited in this
world. We cannot close without men
tioning our'visit to the Drawing Room,
where were displayed the drawings


paintings, needle and fancy work Of
the pupils. 1t would be impossible
to give detailed description of the
work of this room-the variety of the
specimens, being only surpassed by
their exquisite beauty both in design
and execution. Amid such a profu-
siot of ornamental work, we were
charmed to see that plain needle work


SO necessary in the education of q
young lady, receives so much attention


The specimens in this department, al
though in. many cases the work Ct
younger pupils, would compare favor
ably with those III the most elegant
bazaar; while the industry that pro-
duced so much in SO short time re
fleets the highest credit on both teach
ers ahd pupils Those visiting St


Joseph's the coming year, will have
the pleasure Of witnessing the distri-
button in the magnificent new building
now being erected, and will also have
the advantage Of direct access to the
Institution by the Railroad. ii.
Year: 1871

They tell a story about girl up in
Bethlehem who wished to rid herself
of q persistent lover. So, when he
used to come around in the evening,
she would ask him if he wouldn t
rleaeo help John to carry the piano
up stairs and he would take Oft his
coat and work like a brigade of Irish
men until it was time to 90 home
Then the next evening, as soon as he
called, she would say, wouldn't he
please help John to carry the piano
down stairs again ? and at it he would
90, lifting and pulling and bursting
blood vessels, until the hour arrived
for departure. This kind Of thing
continued for about a %eek, when one
night he got the piano down as far as
tie first landing, and the corner fell
on his toe Then he confded to the
faithful John his secret conviction that
Loves Young Dream was fast assum-
ing the character Of most disgusting
and oppressive nightmare. Leaving
the piano there, lie went down to ask
his euslaver to say fnall Y and forever
just where she wanted that piano to
be fixed. He was surprised to find
upon entering the parlor that another
young man was there-a young man
with mild eyes and spectacles And
there that young man had been every
night, while he was moving the furni-
ture and cherishing visions of bliss
1t occupied exactly four minutes, and
when the combatants were withdrawn,
the pianist rushed from the house,
singing Beware, she's fooling thee r.
while a mild-eyed young man decora-
ted with spcct"cles might have teen
seen lying on the sofa, feeling one Of
his mild eyes 10 find how much it was
swellel.