smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

s< It is the opinion of the Cincin-
natl Gazette that the Senate Committee
swallowed camel and strained at a
gnat when it recommended the expul.
sion of Senator Patterson and white
washed Senator Harlan, who had
taken 81, 900 from the Pacific Railroad
Company to use to promote his eletion
to the Senate, while he was Secretary
of the Interior"
Year: 1873

A merchants daughter at Co.
lumbus, Ohio, kicked off a young mans
hat the other day because he sat down
in her parlor with that article Of wear
ing gear upon his head. She used her
foot instead of her hand because she
happened to be carrying an armful OF
wood.
Year: 1873

Max Adeler says: We referred some
time ago to the case of the African
chief who had made for him in London
an umbrella with ribs forty feet long,
and handle like q telegraph pole.
The chieftain estimated that when he
got that-umbrella out among his native
wilds, and spread it all Of a sudden
whenever shower came up, he would
make rival monarchs turn blue with
envy and strike awe to the souls Of his
subjects. Well, he has been practis-
ing with it it in the recesc4s of bis ma
tive jungle for the past six months, and
he is now thoroughly convinced that
human happiness is likely to be an un-
substantial mockery when it is founded
upon umbrellas, or upon anything else
this side of the silent grave. The first
time it began to rain, after the parasol
arrived, the chief gave orders for the
machine to be opened, so that he could
60 out and enjoy himself. The task of
raising the umbrella occupied two days.


and by that time the weather cleared


up. Then the chief commanded the
umbrella to be closed. Two days more
were spent in this effort: and, Just as
the catch snapped on the handle, o
thunder shower came up; and it rained
all day. Then the chieftain was mad.


He called upon the medicine man, and
was informed by that official that it
would certainly rain day after to-mor-
row. So the umbrella was ordered up
again. There was about thirty-six or
thirty-seven showers while the myrmi-
dons were struggling with the monster,
and just as it was fairly open the sun
came out with terrific force. And then
it stayed out. There was not drop of
rain, nor as much as cloud in the sky,
for one hundred and seventy-seven days,
aud the African potentate snorting
around mad as fury all the time. At
the end of that period the chieftain
went out, and killed his medicine man
with a boomerang, and ordered the um-
brella down. The very next morning
it began to rain, and it has been raining
ever since. The friends of the Lord Of
the umbrella have advised him to COM
NIT suicide, and he thinks he will. 'i
Year: 1873

AIR GUNs.-Probably the most per-
feet mir guns in the world are those
made in London for the use of British
poachers. As they make no smoke,
and consequently no smell, they are
not SO easily detected as firearms when
used in game preserves. It is mis-
take, however, to suppose that they
make no noise. When charged, so as
to produce the effects above described,
the report is quite sharp-fully as sharp
as that produced by gunpowder. When
lightly charged, the report is of course
diminished; but the force with which
the bullet is projected is also proper
tionately lessened, and SO is the recoil.
AS weapon for secret assassination,
therefore, the mir gun does not possess
much advantage over good rife-cane.
Few persons are aware, however, of the
slight charge Of power or air that is
necessary to produce fatal wound at
short distances. Experience teaches us
that bullet that will go through q
half-inch board will kill q man if it
strikes him in a vital and not we'll pro-
tected part. Now bullet can be pro-
jected from rife with force sufficient
to pierce such a board ut twelve PAGES,
by means of q charge of powder not
greater than that which will lie on a
silver three-cent; and provided the
charge be ignited quietly, as by a pill
lock, the noise of the explosion will not
attract the attention Of persons who
are sixty yards distant. The small pis-
tolls in common use make very little
noise, except when discharged in con
fined places; and yet, if the ball should
strike vital part, death may be caused
instantaneously by wound from them.
The only advantages possessed by the
air gun are its perfect cleanliness and
the fact that the parts are not liable to
be corroded and rusted. It never re-
quires cleaning; but the labor of charg-
ing the condenser may be fairly Offset
against the labor of clearing ordinary
firearms after they have been used.
Year: 1873

The FIRST CARpEr.-An old preacher
tells the following anecdote of himself.
It occurred some sixty or seventy years
ago. He had been raised in the back
woods, and knew but little of the ways
of the world. Having been admitted
into Conference, he was sent to q cir
cult and upon certain occasion was in.
vited to dine with wealthy man,
Carpets were not near so common then
as they are now. Most people had
their floors secured very clean, and
nice white sand sprinkled over them.
Sometimes an extra touch was given
the floor by sprinkling black sand about
in streaks and figures over the white.


This wealthy man, with whom the young
preacher was to dine, however, had q
carpet, but it was not large enough to
cover the floor, SO there was strip all
round the room, about the width of 0
chair. Itwas the first carpet the preach
er had ever seen, and he thought it
would not do to step on it, SO he took q
seat near the wall, and drew his feet
around on each side of his chair go q
not to touch it. After awhile servant
came in, and, spreading down q piece
of linen, in the middle of the room,
placed the dining table on it. The
preacher was greatly troubled; he did
not know how he was to get from the
naked place he sat to the piece of linen
where the table stood. He knew that
he could jumpi it if he had a fair chance,
but how he was to manage with the chair
between his feet he did not know. But
then the thing must be done some way,
So when dinner was announced he rose
from his chair, and summoning all his
energies made a desperate leap, and to
his great Joy made the trip in safety.
Year: 1873

We had visit from book-peddling
female last week. She wished to dis
pose Of q book. She was alone in tho
world, and had no one whom she could
turn for sympathy or assistance, hence
we should buy her book. She was un-
married, and had no manly heart in
which she could pour her sufferings;
therefore we ought to invest in her
book. She had received o liberal edu-
cation and could talk Fench like ma
tive; we could not in consequence re-
fuse to pay her two dollars for q book.


She wanted to take lessons in music
from q learned German professor, con-
sequently We must not decline buying
q book, We had listened attentively,
and here broke in with, What do you
say? We're deaf" She started in o
loud voice and went through her rig
marole. When she had finished we
went and got roll of paper and made
it into O. speaking trumpet, placed one
end in our ear and told her to proceed,
She nearly burst blood vessel in her
frantic efforts to make herself heard.


She commenced: II am alone in the
world" cit doesn't make the slight
est difference to us. We are not alone;
in fact, we are a husband and father.


Although this is leap year, bigamy is
not allowed in this State. We are not
eligible to proposals." "Oh! what a
fool this man is, she said in a low tone;
then at the top of her voice, II don't
want to marry you. want-to-sell
-a-b-o-o-kw This last sentence was
howled. "We don't want a cook" we
blandly remarked; our wife does the
cooking, and she wouldn't allow as
good-looking q woman as you are to
stay in the house five minutes. She's
very jealous" She looked at us in de-
spair. Gathering her robes her, and
giving us q glance of contempt, she ex-
claimed, 81 do believe if q three-hun-
dred FOUNDER were let off alongside
that blamed old deaf FOOLS head he'd
think somebody was knocking at the
door," and slung herself out and
slammed the door with vehemence
awakened our Office boy, who can sleep
sound enough for whole family.


When she was gone we indulged in q
demoniac laugh. She isn't likely to
try to sell us book any more.--Figaro.
Year: 1873

can Army.


From the Diamond News, Cape OF Good Hope,


Dec. a.


melancholy case OF suicide occurred at Du Iots
Pan on Thursday night last. A gentleman OF the
name of Martin Hartman, q native OF Germany. and
formerly a captain in the American army shot him.
self about fifty yards from his tent. Deceased
was thirty-six years Of age: IL appears That
Iatterly he had been gambling to con-
siderable extent, and finding himself short
of means for continuing his practices,
he drew upon his brother, merchant in London,
n would seem, were either dishonored or ne feared
they would be dishonored, and the disgrace which
was sure to follow preyed upon his mi1d that he
became detected, and resolved to put an end to
himself. In this melancholy frame OF mind he Is
said to have entered q gambling hell On the night
his alive believe about ten pounds--which he
had previously kept for the purpose of enabling
him to return home. Like too many more unfor-
tunate and deuded young men, he lost his all,
and--he was destitute. He then proceeded to q
friends tent, borrowed q loaded revolver, placed
the end OF the barrel to his month, and blew out
his brains This Is sad, very 'sad case; but we
trust IL win prove terrible warning to the young
men whose tendencies may he in the same direc-
tlon were those OF poor Hartman. Gambling
proved hts ruin Had Martin Hartman, whose
death we now record, not entered upon the life OF
n gambler he would still have been In the land OF
the living respectable and perhaps useful mem
Der OF society. Let those who are at present being
insidiousy led away by the infatuatbns INSOFAR
able from gambling have the moral courage TO ac-
cept this note Of warming and act upon IL: The
mains being followed by three OF bis late friends
TO the cemetery where portion OF the Cnurcn OF
England burial service was read " the hev' MI
Year: 1873

Ana llerc cross Tor ME u


Now there happened a diversion which
proves the ruling passion strong in death
Tom, quick with reporters instinct. as in
his palmiest days, turned his head and
saw Il street-preacher standing on a cask
not many rods away, trying to gather
sailors and wharfmen by his voice. 1t
was thrilling voice. There was ring
of joy and power in it. As a general
thing Tom had never taken stock in street
preachers. He had heard them rant 100
often IN the crazy reform style
But this man drew his ewes and ears
while the river still held his thoughts and
intentions, He see-sawed; that voice
sang on triumphantly,


That consecrated cross I'll bear.


Till death shall set me free:


Ana then 90 home, my crown to wear


or there's crown for me -


Now squad collected Tom saw he
must draw attention and thwart his own
designs by taking plunge just then, so
he postponed II, edged nearer the preach
er, and instinctiyely felt for his note
book


This preacher was young man, with
bright, ialcon-like face. If you ever see
him, you Will love him, for he is rushing
about the world this moment, spreading
his arms to all mankind, and telling them
things which sound like tidings of JOY in
stead of musty doctrine. He will make
you cry with enthusiasm over being born


Now, men," he said, reaching his
arms over them, Il want to give you
the word Jesus Christ left for you.
lie says, Every one of you, come
to me- / made you, and you are
OF great account to Me- That man
over there in the fur cap. the one in
the gray blouse, and every fellow of YOU.
He loved you SO that he died to give YOU
a chance al your best. Why, He loves
you more than wives, or children, or mo-
theirs do, though He sees right through
you; sees how eowardiy and ungenerous
you are. How you turn against Him be-
cause He calls you out of mixed world
instead Of taking you up bodily and set
ting you in a Heaven? Though He sees
Year: 1873

NOT long since a gentleman visiting a
charity hospital, remembering that he had
some illustrated papers in his pocket,
gave them to an old man who could not
read. He would have forgotten the cir
cumstance if he had not been reminded OF
it by one Of the physicians of the institu-
ton whom he met afterwards. 'He has
not yet finished studying those pictures,' ~
continued the doctor, after mentioning the
incident. "Do you remember the dull,
vacant countenance of that man? You
would be surprised now at its spri ght-
illness, and when l spoke to him of the
change he said: %, Doctor you can't
know what a JOY these papers have been
to me. | have lain on this bed week after
week. | have counted again and again
all the squares in this counterpane; | can
shut my eyes and place my finger on any
particular figure in it. I know every
speck on the walls Of my room. | can
tell just how many bricks in the wall Of
the opposite building can be counted
through ny window, and have been so
tired until got these papers


Is not such result worth the expendi-
ture of little trouble, postage stamp
and newspaper wrapper? Generous
hearted people often complain that they
can give nothing, because they have no
money to bestow; and yet there are so
many tender charities that require very
little money, and sometimes none at all.


If travellers would mail books and jour
mails to some charitable institution, instead
of leaving them scattered in cars and
hotels, the benefit conferred would be out
of all proportion to the small amount of
trouble requisite. Stay-athome readers
can take their discarded books to some
poor unfortunate they may chance to know,
or send them to those who are interested
in public charities that they may dispose
of them And even many invalids lwho
are generally great readersl will, doubtless,
be glad to learn that although apparently
able to do so little for themselves or any
one else, they have this opportunity af-
forded them of so greatly helping other
invalids, more unfortunate than them
selves, to an enjoyment for which they
are too poor to pay
Year: 1873

IF man is nothing but an animal, if this
life is all there is of his existence, and the
question simply concerns the amount
comfort to be got out of it in this tran
sient world, why, let him do as he likes
with himself and his friends but he who
regards the present scene as only the fore
ground of an infinite spiritual feature,
through which, if one tread faithfully the
prescribed passages of pain as well as
pleasure he shall find himself in higher
pathways, as consequence, at the last
we say he will take life whether it be con-
venient or inconvenient, and hold it as the
gift of God, inalienable by any reason of
infrmity or suffering, or helpless disease,
or cost to other life through necessary
ministry. The doctrines of Prof New
man and Mr.. Tollemache are unchristian
doctrines. They carry us back into bar
barism-back into the darkness in which
children killed parents that became a bur-
den to them, and mothers strangled in
fants that could only inherit their own
sufferings 1t is an infamous criticism of
the divine wisdom, an insult to Provi-
dence, an assault upon the safeguards of
society, and reflection upon human ma
ture and human destiny, from which all
Christian manhood recoils as from the
touch Of serpent.-Dr. Holland, in Serb
ner's Monthly.
Year: 1873

e1ect OF every article put into it, we should
nave become so nervous" about its oper-
atlons, that shortly, the whole human
race would have died Off Doubtless, the
physlologist and the student of dietetics
will give Us some knowledge and wisdom;
but they will sacrifice many victims by
their minute inquiries and cautions One
of the best of them all, that we ever knew,
had one fundamental principle to impress
upon his disciples, 'eat your victuals and
90 about your business" 4 valeteudin-
arian, ng-suffering, refusing this and
that, and cutting down year by year the
list of wholesome articles for his food, at
last bethought himself it were as we'll
to die of fullness as by starvation; and
went TO his accustomed restaurant at din
ner-time, and ordered full meal like any
other man, to the amusement and incre-
dullty OF the attendant that always waited
on him; and on inquiry of the results of
his boldness, he replied he was as we'll
after full and various meal, as after all
the littleness he had been accustomed to
praCtice.-Chrtstjan Register
Year: 1873

THERE is doctor in this CITY, saws the
San Francisco Chronicle, who has speak
ing tube leading from the main entrance
Of the building to his Office, which is up
just few flights. For several days past a
smart young man, named Swartz has
amused himself by calling for the doctor
through the pipe, and then profanely Or
derlng him to set out on an excursion for
Iartarus For some time this fun was
taken IN good part, until the fine humor
OF the Joke no longer became apparent
Accordingly. one afternoon, the disciple OF
Esculapius provided himself with tea
Kettle of water, heated to about 21O de-
grees Fahrenheit, and waited alongside
the pipe. Pretty soon the old familiar
sound came up through the pipe:


Say, Doc, how's Tricks?"


"Tricks is better now; | guess he'll get
well,' responded the doctor, reaching out
after the tea-kettle,


What's been the matter with him?n


He's got burnt"


"How?''


you getr'


The Doctor had finished his last SEN
tence, and then let a quart of scalding
water down the pipe. SHartZ had his
mouth over it, and when the waterstruck it
ne WAS SolIlcN nat surprised. W ater was
apt to surprise him, but hot water was an
unexpected novelty. The man above
poured in the water for about a minute,
and then looked ont Of the window. The
smart young man was getting along the
sidewalk at pretty lively gait, having
evidently just got up from sitting posture
He was trying to yell police" but couldn't
articulate with much success About
an hour afterwards he found himself able
to speak, and inquired


Did that boiler explosion hurt any
body?"
Year: 1873

IF there is anything in the world to de-
stroy ones health, it is the perpetual con-
sideration OF 1t. In much that relates to
body, mind, heart, and soul, we must let
thlrgs take their own way. The stomach
resents being talked about, we find, and
refuses to digest for man who continu-
ally gossIps about it. 1t was put into the
darkness, so that we might not see it. If
it had only been made as transparent as
glass, and we could have seen the special
Year: 1873

THE Waterbury american says parent
IN that city thinks he will have his new
born daughter christened Glycerine. He
says II Will be easy to prefix Nitro to it
when she grows up, if she takes after her
mother, who is always blowing up every
body.
Year: 1873

A SEVERE TEsT-The Commissary
General of the United States, after trial
of all the principal starches in the country,
decided that Duryea's Satin Gloss
Starch was the best that could be procur


ed, and the government from that time to
the present are buying this article. This
is fact worthy the attention of consum-
Year: 1873

Soreness of the breast or lungs, or liver
difficulties, are relieved by placing two or
three thicknesses of flannel wet with
Renne's Pain-killing Magic Oil over the
soreness when retiring to bed at night,
Try it. One application will help you very
much.
Year: 1873

NEVER SAW THEIR EoUAL.-The editor
E(Wis,) Courdnt says we do not hest
tate to recommend DR.. Prices Cream
Baking Powder and Special Flavorings
We use none other in our family, and
they more than meet our expectations.
Knowing these articles to be of rare ex-
cellence, we have no hesitation in urging
every housekeeper in the land to give
them trial, feeling satisfied that they will
indorse their claims for purity. strength
and quantity.
Year: 1873

We see by the Chicago papers that
PROCTOR & GAMBLE have reduced the
price of their long established and popular
brand NOTIFIED GERMAN Soar, its pres
ent price and superior quality makes it the
cheapest as well as the best soap for con-
sumars 6-2ad2rn
Year: 1873

EDITOR REPUBLICAN,:


Fer several days past many of the pro-
duce merchants have been looking forward
TO the arrival of several barges Of the
NJ s~issippi Valley Transportation Com
pany laden with freight for this and the
Cuban market.


Yesterday morning upon their arrival
the wharf assigned to them began to settle,
ani was considered unsafe to unload
further until the freight should be removed,
Notwithstanding there was plenty of vacant
spac. and good landing below the regular
barge berth, and nething TO prevent, only
Tia. .nc city ordinance called it steam
boa, landing: and permission had been re-
fused he bsrges to lie there. although the
p'hart was vacant


Now l am of the opinion that no member
Of our City Council would blame its subor-
climates if they took common sense view
Of the case and allowed an unoccupied
'snding TO be used for almost any purpose,
ana especially as good one as the Missis-
sippi Valley transportation Company
would put it to. No one can really censure
the wharfnger for going according to the
laws prescribed BY the Council. Still, in
many cases he 10 obliged to use his judg-
ment, and Why not in this Our wharves
never wear out, but ON the contrary, rot
fast. and the more produce that 10 handled
over them. the moro able arc people to pay
their taxes and the city to keep them in re-
pair. Reform.
Year: 1873

A Poor WOunan Assasstnaiea. 4


Of all the terrible crimes it has fallen to
the reporters lot to chronicle, the one we
are about to chronicle is about tie worst.


About two years ago John Yeager, car
penter, built himself small house, near
the Claiborne street canal, where Ninth
street should terminate. Having made
humble home for himself and wife, he toiled
daily to pay the small sum due. Recently
he has been employed at the Barracks, and
at late hour last evening reached bis
isolated home.


The scene which he witnessed on opening
his gate was sufficient to distract the
tardest-hearted man that ever lived.


In the email garden was stretched the
corpse of his wife, her body bleeding from
half dozen wounds. OF the cause he was
as ignorant a. the reader who peruses this
account. Her body was cold in death; mur'
dered by q cowardly assassin, who had
sneaked into that peaceful home and cruelty
assassinated an innocent woman while she
was employed in her small garden, and





Information of the crime did not reach
the reporter until late hour last night, but
that did not prevent him from visiting the
scene To reach the place was task, and
not without difficulty and danger. 1t was
necessary to drive out Washington avenue
to Claiborne canal, and from that point
walk over q road rougher than corduroy
and cross two draining canals. The house
is some distance from any habitation and
stands where only few years ago cypress
swamp Invited hunters and harbored ALI
gators. ...s


Finding the husband, we asked him t.
relate all he knew Of the murder. Hi
answer was that he knew nothing more
than that on reaching homo he found thu
corpse of his wife ON the ground in th'
garden. He made the same response t.
Coroner Folwell. After several question:
we learned that this is the man who, sew
eral months ago, was called from his hous'
by person he was unacquainted with
who said that gentleman was ON Wash
ington avenue, and being rrable to driv'
his horse desired assistance. Yesger re
sponded to the call for assistance, but hat
not walked half way before some men hiddel
in the rank weeds attacked him, firing tw'
dozen or more shots at him, but fortunatel.
missing their mark. He must have sus
pected something, for before leaving hi
house he placed revolver in his pocket
and was not slow to empty it at his assail
ants. He says he never knew who the as
sasins were, or why they attempted to take
his life, and nothing was ever learned of it
He reported the facts to the police at tn
time. His wife then urged him to qui
their home and live nearer other houses
but he did not heed her warning. Now, to-
late. he understands that her fears wer'
we'll founded.


The only articles missed from the hous'
last evening were a revolver and . shot
gun. probably taken by the assassin l
detectives do not ferret out the criminal
then they are next TO worthless.