Year: 1871

THE question that woman should ask
concerning the man she marries, ought
not so much to be, "What are his inten-
tionss" but "What is his capacityf"
How strong is he2 How much can he
endure of life's most uhpromising reality,
and come out more than conquerorY He
may be ever SO loving, ever so amiable,
ever so elegant and fascinating; but these
are summer-dsy qualifications Has he in
his nature the stern stuff of which heroes
are made? Does he esteem virtue to be
of more value than the tricks and manners
of an artful Jezebelp Does he stand with
uncovered head and moistened eyes in
the presence of a tender selfabnegation
that can endure even crucifixion for loves
dear sake, and utter no word of COM
plant, but only a prayer for strength
Or does he find in the awful majesty of
such nature an uncomprehended mys-
terry, that dazzles, and blinds, and makes
afraid until he would fain flee from its
presence, even while it was suffering and
dying for his sake? If the latter, he
deserves no blame; he did not choose his
organization so cover his memory with
the mantle of an imperishable love that he
may never understand, and then go thy
way in peacel Sleeping or waking, the
WIN - III kWOr obA AAOAN
be some mysteries that must wait for the
long eternity to solve. On
the other hand, a man who resolves to
risk the precarious combination, matri-
mony and poverty, should choose a wife
with the austeriiy ofjudgment, rather than
to crafty the passing hunger of tenn
porary appetite. "a man well married is
winged badly married, he is shackled."


The terms well married and badly mar
ried become more complicated when
poverty is to be considered. If a man has
wealth, he has but to choose pretty lay
figure for dress and jewels. Mind and
heart are of no consequence; animal
beauty is sufficient. If, however, he has
only poverty and affection to offer, the
choice becomes more difficult. He has,
on the one hand, to avoid the delicate
creature whose overwrought sensibilities
would be inadequate to the heroic strug-
giles or the cruel privations of his lot; and,
on the other hand, he must not choose
coarse grained creature, who will bring up
his children to defective education and
vulgar associates, and fill his house with
persons whose society can afford neither
pleasure nor profit.


1t has been well and truly said that "a
man who would have fine guests must
have fine wife;" for it is she who shall
determine whether the Lares and Penates
of home shall bring spiritual visions of
divine rest and beauty, or suggest only
sensuous dreams of physical comfort. 1t
is the wife whom the neighbors weigh and
measure, from back windows and front
door steps, and by chance meetings, when
they hand in the social verdict as to wheth-
er the Smiths or Browns are anybody"
and worth inviting in select circle to
meet distinguished guests. 1t is the wife
who must make the dignity of her own
individuality apparent, irrespective of her
surroundings or her husbands poverty or
wealth. 1t is the wife who shall train the
children for her own social status; for in
poverty, not less than in wealth, the chill
dren of heroic parents may become fitted
| for the greatest intellectual honors and so.
cial triumphs. To do this, however, re-
uuires nice discrimination, that there be
no undue attention to non-essentials, to
| the Mt glect of essentials. No slavery to
dress, that robs the heart and mind OF
proper attention. No resorting to petty
shams of ostentation, as if poverty were 8
degradation and the appearance OF wealth
ennobling; for of this be assured, the chill
dren who are taught to be ashamed oi
poverty will grow 10 be not afraid of any
crime that will bring the real or simulated
wealth. The children, on the other hand
who are taught that good book is bettel
than fine dress, and education the worl
of years, while clothes may be purchased
in an hour, will become so nobl,
in their poverty as to develop il
themselves resources that will one da,
bring them not only wealth, but homo
and usefulness, and the happiness inciden
to such possessions. Poverty, under sucl
circumstances, becomes exalted to heroism
and shames into insigniicance the glsr,
and glitter of ignorant, Haunting prosper
ity. Very inferior actors and actresses ar
chosen to wear the tinsel splendor anC
support the pompous stupidities of King
and Queens, yet to Genius is allotted tn,
character that thinks, and acts, and speak
the awful tragedy of animate existence
To impress these truths upon the mind


of children is the mothers work, and il
choosing a wife man should consider hi
children, and remember the old adsge tha
ian ounce of mother is worth a pound o
clergy" Married to noble and affection
ate woman, true man will sink neithe
in his own estimation nor in the estima
ton of those whose esteem is valuable OF
account of his poverty. 1t is only tn,
corrupt and ignorant who attach disgrac'
to poverty, or feel respect for mere wealth
Some one has declared those only to b
poor who feel poor, and no sensible mai
or woman can feel impoverished who ha
gained the lifelong companionship of
loving and congenial nature, whom neithe
sickness nor sorrow, nor things pFesen
nor things to come, can estrange.-Chicdg


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