Year: 1872

his upward flight,
The first to meet Queen Summer in her golden
nd salute her with his anthem close to her
palace gate. ... -5.-


Poking Fun at a Railroad.


Mr.. Derrick Dood writes as follows to
the Washington Capitol about the branch
railroad between Baltimore and the cap
itol. To-


But about this railroad. OF course 1
want it abolished, every one does. The
reckless velocity with which the trains
are run between Baltimore is absolute
ly frightful. 1 Twas delighted years ago
when this road was established, beca use
thought we had got rid of the old
rickety and dangerously fast stage
coaches, but the speed they are begin
ming to run the trains on this road is
worse yet. Now, every one knows that
Baltimore is forty miles from Washing
ton if it is an inch, and three days and
a half is plenty quick enough for the
trip, but the managers have already re-
duced the schedule time to three days
and four hours, and. what with making
the engine fires too hot, and racing
with cows along the road, and all that,
the conductors are even cutting that
time down. ft


Why it was only the other day, on
the down trip, we happened to spy old
Simm's mule abou two miles out of
town. What should the reckless wretch
of an engineer do but clap on full steam
and race every foot of the way into the
district. We didn't exactly pass the
mule, but caught up with him twice,
and came into the depot neck and neck,
and which was putting the most, the
mule or the engine, you couldn't have
told to save your life. Now it was all
very exciting and all that, know, but
L hadn't purchased an accident ticket,
and don't believe the other four pass
engers had either. This is all wrong,
Mr.. Editor, all wrong.


And then on another occasion, l re-
member, we came within 4 hairs
breadth of serious accident. The en-
gineer had gotten off to SNOWFALL a
chipmunk, and the conductor was mind
ing a young widows baby for her-the
result was that the train happened to
get on down grade and was started
off at terrific rate, every bit Of four
miles an hour, should think. We were
just half mile above the Annapolis
junction, and the first thing we knew
there being no one to whistle and wake
up the switch-tender--we were turned
off into the Annapolis road and went
down the wrong track, at full speed.
Imagine our CONSERVATION, when just
at this moment we heard the whistle,
not half a mile ahead Of the Annapolis
up train. We were paralyzed with ter
ror. Here were two trains on the same
track approaching each other at the
dizzy speed just mentioned.


Evidently our time had come! In a
few short hours the engines would
meet, and characterization!


With great presence of mind a prayer
meeting was organized by minister on
board. Pale but calm the doomed band
of passengers sat, and though with the
very shadow of death upon them, raised
their voices in parting hymn.


"Send for the baggage MASTER" said
a young man with sad smile.


s'Why?' was asked.


Because we all want to pass in our
checks.'


Everybody wept. From the rear plat
form we could see the miserable engin-
eer straining every nerve to catch up,
but he had tight boots on and didn't
gain anything to speak of.


At this moment ray of hope dawned
upon us. had just finished writing
my will on the back of visiting card
when l observed young lady in the
act of detaching her hustle. Placing
the article--which was composed of
eight hundred Capitols and hair mat
tress under her arm, the heroine march,
ed through the car.
We followed her anxiOusly.


She climbed upon the tender and then
proceeded over the engine. 1t was very
interesting and thrilling to see her
climbing over the wheels and brass
things on her way to the cow-eatcher.
1t reminded me of country girl get
ting over wire fence. But never mind
about that now. Let me see where
was. Oh! yes, on the cow-catcher.
Holding OH by the cross-bars with one
hand, the noble maiden tied the hustle
on the PROV with the other. {.


You can guess the result. In the
course of the afternoon the collision
came on. Protected by the hustle the
engine received gentle bump and we
were saved.


took up collection for the woman
on the spot. always take up a collec-
ton on such occasions--always. And
what's more | never forget to give the
object interested something nice out of
it--never. There is nothing mean
about me. l suppose you have noticed
my clothesD


A South Carolina woman who had
Just returned from the funeral of her