smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1871

Two ex Confederate soldiers, who had
been in the habit of sharing everything
with each other before the war, met on
the streets of Paris the other day for the
first time since the struggle, and while
walking along they saw a roll of green
backs on the sidewalk. One of them
picked it up, remarkiug to his comrade /:
Half is yours, if it's thousand we'll
divide here as we did in Dixie" which
they did to cent, getting a dime chan
ged to make the division equal.-7rHe
Keutuckidn
Year: 1871

Omaha is the chosen home of George
Train. 1t is also the chosen home Of
other choice spirits, and the training
ground of cohort of bibulous mortaIs
Omaha is therefore original and has orig
nal barkeepers. Genius pervades the air
rhetoric fows-from bottles-and the
atmosphere-and liquor-of Omaha gen
orally are calculated to inspire the most
stupid. There was time when the
learned men of the British Scientific
Society exulted over Sir Joseph Banks
and the Industrious Flea. Omaha has
surpassed the British society and tri-
umphs in George Francis and an Intel
lectual Fly. And this is the story of it


A genial barkeeper caught fly and
trained him an hour each day. Once
the phenomenon took fight, but the
strategic barkeeper was too much for
him, and intellect became a prisoner to
the superior strength. When all was
ready the far sighted barkeeper inter-
viewed reporter, and this is what the
reporter saw:


A bar counter, bottle" thereon and
two glasses. Behind the counter the
complacent barkeeper, on the counter the
Intellectual Fly, and before the counter
the admiriug reporter. This was the
scene, the "props" and the dramates
personae Then the commanding bar
keeper ordered the Intellectual Fly to
brush his head, and he brushed it with
his fore legs with surprising vigor. A
pause and an awaiting of the word Of
command. Then, said the tactical bar
keeper, 'shonlder arms p and the Intel
lectual Fly promptly raised his left fore
leg straight up in the air.
Year: 1871

A good natured maa who had been
nearly ruined by giving and accepting in
vitations to drink in a town of Nevada,
and whose conscience was aroused by an
attack Of delirium tremsns, now goes
about with revolver in his pocket, and
has given it to be generally understood
that if any man asks him to take drink
he will shoot him on the spot.
Year: 1871

A PRINTER in Pennsylvania puts
conundrum in the following style. "If
you had thousand or fifteen hundred
bushels of wheat, aud had to trust it
out all over the country, would
you think those you trusted should make
every exertion to pay you, so that you
could get 10 your next years crop aud
live while it was maturing? The printer
is in this predicament; and taking the
case home to yourself, don't you think
yoa ought TO ray him.
Year: 1871

The proprietor of thia celebrated medi-
cine Justly claims for it n superiority over
all remedies ever offered to the pubic Tor
the safe, certain, speedy, and permanent
cure of Ague and Fever, or Chills and Fever,
whether of short or long standing. He re-
fers to the entire Western and Southwest
ern country to bear him testimony to the
truth of the assertion, that in no case what
ever will it fail to cure, if the directions are
strictly followed and carried out. In
great many cases single dose has been
sufficient for cure, and whole families
have been cured by single bottle, with a
nerfect restoration OF the general health.
Il is. however, prudent, and in every case
more certain to cure, if its use IS continued
in smaller doses for week or two after the
disease as been checked, more especially in
dif5cult and long standing cases. Usually,
this medicine will not require any aid to
keep the bowels in good order; should the
patient. however, require n cathartic medi-
1ins. after having taken three or four doses
af the Tonic. 4 single dose of BULL s VEG
ETBALE FAMILY PILLS will be sufficient
Year: 1871

4 deaf old gentlemen, walking
lately in his garden, heard the milk
man shout On the other side Of
the wall Imagining some one
called to him, he cried "Here,"
and turned his ear trumpet in the
direction OF the wall. The milk
man in his hurry took the trumpet
for the servants pail and delivered
o quart u milk therein.
Year: 1871

a correspondent says Miss Nil.
sson does not eat ike a fine Ameri-
can lady, with her fingers on the
very tip Of tie fork, but handles
knife and fork with freedom and
vigor, and violates all the degrees
of fashion in holding the fork at
the lower end"
Year: 1871

The latest fashionable folly in
England is for ladies' perfectly
sound in theirlimbs to initiate the
1ameness Of the Princess Alexan-
dria. To render the imitation
more easy Of Performance, the heel
Of one shoe is made considerably
lower than that of the other. The
gait thus produced is known as the
Alexandra limp.
Year: 1871

a thieying carpet-bagger is tray
cling around among the negroes in
Florida, selling them a peculiar
kind of oil, warranted to make their
hair grow foot in length and as
straight as q white mans.
Year: 1871

Two prominent gentlemen Of
Knoxville have been playing q Sc
iies Of one hundred games Of chess.
There was but one draw game in
the hundred. At no time was eth
er one three games a head. The
hundredth game was a tie, but on
the hundred and first the railroad
man pulled out one ahead.
Year: 1871

A day passing without a shoot
ing serape is of such rare occur
renee at Memphis Tenn, that the
papers of that city always let it be
known. The 1oalonche, Of Sunday
says Another quiet day yesteT
day. VIII some hightoned citizen
be so kind as to open out with q
double barreled shot gun2 such a
reverberatioL would be exceeding
Is musical as well as natural
Year: 1871

First Floor East School and Dress Suits.
and Little Lads Clothes.
Second FOor-Larger-sized Goods and Half
Price Lots.
Upper FloOrs-Reserve Stock and Extra Fine
Goods


NOTE b9s~ These and all our Goods are
not bought from Wholesale Houses, but ars
of our own manufacture many of them
made in our own building, under our own
eye and supervison-of materials carefully
examined and Sponged, and made only for
our Regular Retail Trade so that Custom
ers can take them with the utmost conf
dence.
Year: 1871

LONDON, Jan. z, 1871.
Telegraphic advices from Constantinope, which
have Just been received here represent that III feel
ing prevails again between his imperial Majesty the
sultan OF Turkey and his Hgnness the viceroy OF
Egypt with reference to the old point Of dispute
the claim OF allegiance by the one and the position
and duty, or independence, of tho other.
Year: 1871

BOSTON, Jan. y 1871
There was considerable curious interest manifested
here to day in regard to the payment OF the Union
Pacific Railroad coupons. an impression having gone
abroad that the reported failure OF the Ames firms
would create discredt in the stability Of
the great trans-continental railway corporation
The ONCE OF the company, contrary to expectation,
was filled early in the morning by those anxious to
receive pay for their coupons, and many thousands
OF dollars In gold were dsbursed during the dav.
Money TO pay the co upons s said to have been sent
from New York 10 The amount OK upwards Of
Al. l0Q.QQQ N gold,
Year: 1871

/. The lead pipe neatly and perfectly lined
with tin Some constitutions are much liable than
others lead poisoning but physicians are aware that
certain obscure diseases of the bowels aud OF the lower
extremtes traceabe to the OF water Whlcn mas
stood on lead The invention by which thin film OF tin
can be rolled down the inside face OF lead tube Is
remarkable, and the conduit thus made ought wholly TO
replace common lead for use in families


q c. c. Bradley & Sons, manufacturers at syracuse
show n CutvatOr with reversible teeth or shares
adapted to many different sorts of work. When one
edge or point il blted by the steel can be re-
ycrsed and when the whole s wOrn few cents in out
lay and the unscrewing Of nut replaces it with new
They have also iron sleghnee strong and compact
In a country like Western NewYOrk, where there are
from four to months Of seighing strong and dura
bic bob-scd Is just important to the farmer as good
wagon in Summer.


g. The BOynton continues to excite won
der and make friends From series of trials, we are
satisfied that, logs frcm nine to twelve inches In
diameter II be carried through at the rate Of
Year: 1871

Adjoining the musical department is a table
containing two volumes OF Dore's Bible, mag
niGceDtly bound, and illustrated in the best
style Of the celebrated French artist. The work
is of great pecuniary value, and Is TO be sold In
shares Of which q great many have already
been sold.
Year: 1871

1.-THE following lines written in the Alexander Smith STYLE
from the pen of Miss Adah Isaacs Menkon the beautiful
and talented actress
Away down in the shadowy depths the once lived
l thought that to seem to be,
But the waters of Marah beautiful yet they were


bitter.
waited, and hoped, and prayed,
Counting the heartthrobs and that
Through my earnest pleading for the true that


the mildest mercy of life smiling sneer;
And that the business of the world to lash with


geance all who dared to be what their God had
made them.
Smother back tears to the red blood of the heart
Crush out things called souls.
Now gloss my pale face with laughter and sail my voice


on with the tide.
Decked in jewels and lace laugh beneath the gas light


glare, and quaff the purple wine;
But the minorkeyed soul is standing naked hungry


upon of Heavens high hills of light.
Standing and waiting for the blood of the feast
Starving for poor word
Waiting for God launch out some beacon on the bound


less shores of this night
shivering for the uprising some soft wing under which


it may creep lzard-like, to warmth and rest.
Waiting, starving and shiveringl
Still trim my white bosome with crimson roses for no


one shall see the thorns.
bind my aching brow with jeweed crown, that none


may the iron beneath.
My svered sandled feet keep impatient time to tho music


because cannot be calm.
laugh at earh's passion fear of love- vet know that


God is near to the soul on the hil and hears the


ceaseless ebb and flow of hopeless love, through


all my laughter.
But if can cheat my heart with tho old adage that love


cannot be forgotten, is it not betterH
After all, living is but part to play.
he ha al -


could
All this grandeur of glare and glitter has its nighttime
The pallid eyeld must shut out smiles and daylight
Then fold my cold hands and look down at the restles;


river of love that rushes out of my life.
Unseen and unknown, they tide DER black rocks ant
charms of death.
Oh, for sweet word to bridge their terrible depths
OH jealous soul Why wilt thou yearn for wha
thou canst not fndI
And life so long, long
With the daylight comes the business of living.
The prayers that send trembling the golden thread
of Hope all come back to me.
When these mortal ms shall unclohe tho world then


shall be known as l ami
When dare to be dead and buried behind wall wings
then shall he know mel
When this world shall fall like old ghost wrapped


in the black skirt of the wind, down into the


fthomless eternity of fire, then shall souls uprise
When God shall lift the frozen struggling rivers


then shall speak
When the purple and gold of regal souls shall lighted


up in the eternity of TRUTH then will love be


mine
wait
Year: 1871

THE ORIGIN OF HAND-SHAKISa.-The Romans
had goddess whose name was Fides, or Fidelity
"a goddess of " faith and honesty" to whom
Numa was the first to pay divine honors. Her
only dress was white veil, expressive of can
dor, frankness and modesty and her symbol
was two right hands joined, or sometimes two
female figures holding each other by the right
hands whence in all agreements among the
Greeks and Romans il was usual for the parties
to take each other by the right hand, as token
of their intention to adhere to the compact and
this custom is in more genearl use even among
ourselves, at the present day, than would at
first be realized.
Year: 1871

THE BEST WAY To RIDE-A Jersey girl and
her lover were out horseback riding recently,
when race was proposed, which ended in a
victory for the frmly-seated young man. But
the girl would not give it up SO, and demanded
a renewal Of the trial, with change of saddles.
The change was made, and soon they were off
again-the lad sdewise and the girl otherwise
the heat resulting in a complete triumph for the
lady.
Year: 1871

JUMPING MAToH.--A young man, who
fought but did not die, at Antietam and Gettys-
burg, went into Providence on foot with some
small articles for SALE One night just as the
sable curtains of evening were being lowered
upon him, he applied at very respectful looking
house for entertainment. He was very kindly
received by young lady, who happened to be
the only one of the family at home, with whom
he partook of the evening meal, and everything
seemed to our hero to be going emery as mar
riage bell" 1t seems, however, that the young
lady began. to suspect that in ''entertaining n
stranger" she had not entertained Gan angel"
But how to get rid of him was the trouble. At
length she asked him if he could jump well, say
ing that she could jump further than any
Yankee living. This was "stump" which the
hero of dozen battle fields was not disposed to
take, and they arrayed for trial of leap p-frog.
The young lady placing herself against the wall,
at three jumps reached the door. Our Yankee
now took his station for trial. At two bounds
he nearly reached the door, when Miss Bluenose,
with all feminine fascination imaginable, said
she would open the door for him, so that he
might have chance to see how much he ex-
celled her, and he took the third leap which
landed him outside of the house.


The young lady instantly closed and fastened
the door, took hat, mittens, overcoat and valise
of merchandise into the chamber, threw them
out of the window to him, and told him there
was tavern about seven miles below, where,
no doubt, he could be entertained. He went on
his way meditating on the mysteries of woman
Year: 1871

NOTHING NEw.--The boys on Long Wharf,
New Haven, have a novel way of getting mo-
lasses into their stomachs. They take long
string, dip it into the molasses, and, putting one
end between their teeth, swallow the rest.
After calmly enjoying the delicious sweetness
awhile, they take hold of the end of the string
and pull it gently out and repeat the operation


This plan is not entirely original. 1t was
probably taken from custom of the peasantry
in a certain country of Europe, where the moth
ers have to labor in the harvest field. They
take the baby along, and having found a shady
spot, lay him on the ground and tie piece of
juicy meat to a string of suitable length, fasten-
ing the other end to the baby's great toe for,
should the baby happen to suck so hard as to
get checked with its meat-teat its convulsive
kicks will jerk it out again, and so, alternately
sucking and kicking, it is neither starved nor
strangled.
Year: 1871

The following proceeding Of the Demo.
Gratis Of the 2lst Civil District Of this
county and the second largest dis.
trict outside OF this city, will appear
in the Nashville Banner tomorrow


InasmuCh as the present COnsti-
tuition OF the State OF Tennessee
gives TO the colored man every
civil and political right enjoyed by the
white man, It follows that the validity
of the l4th and 10Th amendment tb the
Constitution Of the United States, forms
no substantial issue before the people Of
Tennessee. Therefore, In our opinion no
person, or paper that shall want only To
continue the agitation OF that question is
entitled to confidence, or support Of the
Democracy Of this State; aud whereas,
the recent act Of Congress known rs the
Ku-Klux bill, looks in our opinion solely
to the perpetuation of the succession of
the radical party by violence based on
false pretences, and contemplated de-
struction OF the government which can
only be prevented by better organization
Of the Democratic party, Therefore,
L'eSolred, By the Democratic and COnser-
vative party Of this District, that no
secret meeting Of this club shall ever
be held that the members individually
and collectively Of this club hereby re.
cognize themselves a part Of the posse
cOmitdtuS, and as such are always ready at
the call OF either the Marshal Of the Uni.
ted States or the Sheriff of the counties,
to arrest and bring TO Justice any person
guilty Of violating tho provision of the
Ku.Klux oil Tennessee, and without being
so called by the Marshal or Sheriff We
bind ourselves to pursue with hue and cry
any such offender beyond the confines Of
their district; and this club hereby Offers
standing reward Of 800, TO be assessed
on the members In proDOrtiOn 10 their tax
lists respectively, Tor the arrest and con-
viction Of every such offender In the civil
diStrict That we earnestly request the
Democrats of every other county Of the
State TO organize similar club under
these resolutions"


The list of signes embraces ex-
Governor Henry 8. Foote, late mem.
ber Of the Confederate Congress;
Hon, John o. Thompson, Of tho late State
Constitutional Convention; Rev. A. l.. p.
Green, and u number Of others, among
the best and most influential citizens Of
the State, many Of whom were practical
rebels during the war, These resolutions
will be slgned as they are now endorsed
by every Democratic voter 10 the Twen.
ty.frst District, and will undoubtedly be
adopted by every county In the State.
Year: 1871

government except through the Board OF
Aldermen, and tho most stringent rules arc
drawn to protect the funds and credit Of the
city even from that body. Tho powers Of
removal of heads of departments are some
what less simple and direct than they should
be, but the Mayor is to be removable by the
Governor for canse In the manner provided by
law in the cases Of sherifs and county clerks.


On one point the Committee Of Seventy
make, We believe, . great blunder. They
adopt the principle, first advocated by the
HERALD, Of requiring publication OF all
amounts expended, contracts made, resolu-
tions and ordinances passed, &C., by every
public department at short, stated periods
but they defeat the whole object of the reform
by establishing another edition of the Tran
script Job, under the name Of Tho City Record,
in which these publications are to be made.
This probably may be designed to save the
city the expense Of newspaper adver-
tising, but it is penny wise and
pound foolish" policy No person cares to
look in any such sheet for city doings, and
not one citizen out of every ten thousand
would ever see q copy of the Record. 'sPub-
licity" is the only object Of requiring these
detailed statements Of their operations from
the departments, and this cannot be secured
by printing them in job concern such as
the IkNnscrips was, and such as 1t is proposed
the Record shall be. The people desire to
see what their public officers are doing.
They know that had the policy Of publishing
weekly statements Of all bills paid, contracts
made and liabilities incurred, prevailed during
the rule of the Tammany Ring, NO such frauds
as have been perpetrated against the city
would have been practicable. Our citizens will
not begrudge the money expended in laying
before them the information they desire, and
no parsimonious idea Of saving few dollars
should prevent this most valuable feature Of
publicity from being fully engrafted on any
new charter that may be enacted. Whatever


amount might be used in the publication Of
TIE CITY Record would be thrown away. and
the people have had sufficient experience 10
the Transcript swindle not to desire to see the
experiment revived. We shall have more to
say Of the committees proposed charter here
after, but the blunder Of this proposition is so
self-evident that we do not suppose there will
be any attempt to adhere to it. OF course the
rough draft now published has yet to be re-
vised and completed, and there will come
the question Of its acceptance by the
Legislature. As it is not as much as
II might be in the interests Of the
republican majority at Albany, we do not
think its rejection at all improbable. The
Legislature win, no doubt, have views Of Its
own to carry out in connection with our future
municipal government. sA3 asaoJ
Year: 1871

MIsPLAoRD INDIGNATIoN-The Indignation
Of the people of California In failing to get the
destructive storm which they had been looking
for. Let them be patient; they may get It
yet. and as much as they want. The Clerk Of
She Weather has lately had his hands full with
hIs late storms In the East; but now, We think,
be win be able TO attend to California. tll
Year: 1871

THE FIRST CARDINAL.-K the report We
have from Rome on the subject i correct
Archbishop McCloskey has been promoted to
the red hat Of Cardinal, and he Is the first
cardinal Of Mother Church chosen from the
blergy Of the United States. AT all events he
deserves the honor, and IL appointed he Will
b an important accession to the College Of
Cardinals.
Year: 1871

human soul will sooner or later receive it's
full measure of happiness according to, It's
capacities. And to show how these may
be increased by the cultivation Of our moral
faculties was one Of the objects embraced In
the mission OF Jesus. This could not be better
accomplished than by showing us an example
that we could understand and attempt to imi-
tate. II Is this union of the divine with the
human SO perfectly presented before us in the
person Of Jesus that has led, and is leading,


the heart Of humanity to appreciate and cherish


His character and teachings. eaas


/ The progress Of Christianity in tho world
can never again be seriously interrupted.


The periods have passed when paganism could
assume the ascendancy. Much ignorance and
superstition prevail among peoples yet, We
admit but ignorance and superstition have
been for centuries gradually giving way under
the regenerating influence Of Christianity,
and at no period since the Creation has man


kind attained higher stage Of development
than at the present. Never before were
the principles Of progress so prominent or the


signs Of the times for the future 30 full Of
promise. The arts and sciences, the hand


maids of Christian civilization, are every


where aiding the completion Of the work


commenced by, Christ, whoss nativity


We now commemorate. Steam, cleo


tricity and the press are each and all
contributing toward the communication of tho
grand design Of the Creator for the smeliora-
tion Of humanity. By means Of rapid COM
munication all the nations Of the earth are


being brought closer together, and with 1t we
have repealed evidence Of the interchange Of


kindly sympathies, which is one Of the funda-


mental principles Of Christianity. With uni
versal liberty we shall have universal intelli-
genoe. and this win inaugurate the era of uni
versal brotherhood and universal peace-the
feeling Of the whole human race that as the
children of one Father they have common
sympathy and . common destiny. In this
grand and glorious work we must not forget
our mission as Americans. The eyes of tho
oppressed in other lands are turned toward
us, and in our influence and example are CEN
tired the hopes Of liberty everywhere-civil
and religious. Already the influence
of the United States has been felt and


followed to greater or lesser extent in other


and older nations. Wo believe that within


the present century Christianity has received


an impetus in the United States greater than it


has ever yet received in any other country. The


manifest destiny" Of the United States is to


establish, firm as the Rock of Ages, on the


whole of the American Continent the highest


possible development Of Christian civilization,


and to be . bright and shining light
among tho nations. Each has it's


mission 70 perform and each can render
to the other sympathy and assistance
in promoting the cause Of Christianity, which


is the amelioration Of mankind BY tho cultiva-


tion Of all the gifts and graces which will
enable us to enjoy the benefits and blessings


Of a glorious Immortality. 3assb ss4a5 '.aa