Year: 1870

~ 0lVFy VI 0totcu SWeotHeeS!


A good story is always in order,
and is always an item. We have
Just heard one on Northern Iowa
basis. A few weeks ago, so the
story goes, prominent farmer in
Hardin county, who appears to have
a good deal of red blood in his lus
ty carcass, called at neighbor's
house when the neighbor himself
was not at home. But Mrs. Neigh
Dor was there, and gave Mr.. Lusty
a generous welcome. Now the lady


was fat and fair to look upon, and
it so happened that of all other kind
of females, this was the very sort
the deacon-for deacon he was
liked the best. From childhood


the desire to hug fat females had


been the thorn in the deacon's flesh,


and now here was the temptation


enticingly put before him. The


eve kindled as it looked, and the


brave right arm arched to crook


itself about the voluptuous form of


the unconscious and innocent temp


tress. And crook it did-suddenly


and lovingly. But early on its way


it found grief. The struggling cap


tive was not hungry for hugs out


side Of the family, was not that kind


of a woman, and soon the deacon


discovered it. First, the argument


of sharp finger nails, and next, the


fragments Of bread tray broken


over over his head, gave the old


fellow a suspicion that the stolen


sweets were not as sweet as they


ought to be, and finally vigorous


dig in the liver from a stove hook


convinced him that distance more


than lent enchantment to that par
ticular enchaHtress. So he let her
go, and she soon let him go, with


all the blessings and other loose ar


ticles she could bestow upon his
! noble, but retreating form.


| Soon came the husband home,


and in his indignant ear was the


woeful story told. It was more


than the husbands human nature


could bear. He loved his wife, and
he knew his neighbor. He had


been introduced to him, and so he
, felt free to 60 and settle with him.
He went, he saw, he cussed him.
The Deacon, knowing he was in for
il, took the shortest and most pious
way out owned that he had gone a


little way estrav, that he had GOV
. eted his neighbor's wife, that he
did think he would like to give her
just one good hug; that he had
gently tried to obtain the one hug


aforesaid, but when he found ou,
she had none to spare he didn't try
any more, and now, like an honest
man and good neighbor, he was
: ready to pay the damages and make
, it even. The neighbor, not liking


to be hard on friend, smothered


his wrath, put his pistol back in his
t pocket. and said that was right-he
: liked to hear man talk business.
The outrage was finally compro
missed by the grace of money, the
deacon suggesting and the husband
: acquiescing, that there was no use
) in spilling blood over SO small a
, matter. After the debate upon the
l proper price of hugs, it was agreed
! that SO was about right, where


upon the deacon gave the outraged
husband his note for that amount,
when peace was again spoken be
t tween them. But the note was not
= money. Mr.. Husband thought lie


would trade it off for corn, and so
, he went to another neighbor, one OF


the best men living, as we personal.
> ly know, and tried to strike such q
/ burgain. The man with the corn had
heard the story, and didn't want the
note. So the deacon had to seek
another market. He happened to
think he wanted shovel plow He
t went to Eldora, found the plow, the
: owner of it glad to exchange it foi


the note, knowing, as he did, that the


deacon was good for ten dollars.
But when he presented the note for


payment, the paper wasn't honored.
The deacon fatty refused to pay
it, pleading as his reason the want


of consideration. The holder
swears he will sue on it, and have
the money yet. The plain question
in suit will be, has hug CONNER


cial value-is it worth anything, or


isn't it And if it is of no value,


will it be proved that part Of a hug


is worth ten dollars? The hug
loving part of the world will brea tn


lessly await the decision of the


Court.-[Des Moines State Regis
ter,