Year: 1870

THE STORY OF THE BAD LITTLE BOY


WHO DIDN'T COME TO GRIEF.


BY MARK TWAIN.


Once there was a bad little boy
whose name was Jim-though, if you
willlnotice, you will find that bad lit
tie boys are nearlyalways called James
in your Sunday School books. Itwas
very strange, but it was true, that this
one was called Jim. sFT8NAa


He didn't have any sick mother Ell
ther-a sick mother who was pious
and had the consumption, and would
be glad to lie down in the grave, and
be atrest, but for the strong love she
bore her boy, and the anxiety she felt
that the world would be harsh and cold
to him when she was gone. Most bad
boys in the Sunday School books are
named James, and have sick mothers,
who teach them to say, "Now 1 lay
me down." ETC., and sing them to sleep
with sweet, plaintive voices. and then
kiss them good night, and kneel down
by the bedside and weep. But it was
different with this fellow. He was
named Jim, and there wasn't anything
the matter with his mother-no con-
sumption, or anything of the kind.
She was rather stout than otherwise,
and was not pious; moreover, she
was not anxious on Jim's account.
She said that if he, were to break his
neck, it wouldn't be much loss. She
always spanked him to sleep, and she
never kissed him good night; on the
contrary, she boxed his ears when she
was ready to leave him.


Once this bad little boy stole the
key to the pantry and slipped in there
and helped himself to some jam, and
filled up the vessel with tar, SO that
his mother would never know the diff
ference; but all at once terrible feel
ing didn't come over him., and some
thing didn't seem to whisper to him,
" Is it right to disobey my mother
Isn't it sinful to do this? Where do
bad little mean boys go to who gobble
up their good, kind mothers jam y
And then he didn't kneel- down all
alone and promise never to be wicked
any more, and rise up to a light
happy heart, and go and tell his moth
er all about it, and beg her forgiveness
and be blessed by her with tears of
pride and thankfullness in her eyes.
No, this is the way with all other bad
boys in the books, but it happened
otherwise, with this Jim, strangely
enough. He ate the jam, and said it
was bully, in his sinful, vulgar way,
and put in the tar, and said that was
bully, also, and laughed and observed
that the cold woman would get up
and snort" when she found it; and
when she did find it out he denied
knowing anything about it, and she
whipped him severely, and he did the
crying himself. Everything about
this boy WAS curious everything
turned out differently from the way
1T doesI to- the bad Jameses in the
books.


Once he climbed up in Farmer
Homes apple tree to steal apples, and
the limb didn't break, and he didn't
fall and break his arm, and get torn
by the farmers great dog, and then
on a sick bed for weeks, and
then repent and become good. Oh!
no; he stole as many apples as he
wanted, and came down all right land
he was all ready for the dog, too, and
knocked him endways with a rock,
when he came to tear him. It was
very strange-nothing like it ever
happened in those mild little books
with marble backs, and with pictures
in them of men with swallow tailed
coats and bell crowned hats, and
pantaloons that are short in the legs,
women with the waists of their dress
es under their arms and no hoops on.
Nothing like it in any of the Sunday
school books. -


Once he stole his teachers pen knife
and when he, was afraid it would be
found out, and he would get whipped,
he slipped if7into George Wilson's
cap, poor Widow Wilson's son, the
moral boy, the good little boy of the
village, who always obeyed his mother
and never told an untruth, and was
fond of his lessons, and infatuated
with Sunday school. When the knife
dropped from the cap, and poor George
hung his head and blushed, as if con-
scious of guilt, and the grieved teach
er charged the guilt upon him, and
was just in the very act of bringing
the switch down upon his trembling
shoulders, white-haired improbable
justice of the place did not suddenly
appear in their midst and strike an at.
titude and say" Spare this noble boy
there stands the covering culprit,
was passing the school door at recess,
and unseen myself, 1 saw The theft
committed" And then Jim didnJ
get whaled, and the venerable justice
didn't read the fearful school a homils