smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1870

Some gheul on the Cincinnati Times has
been gathering the following items from the
exchanges, and recommends them for
variety and freshness: A man in New
Hampshire the other day ate fifteen dozen
raw oyster on 8 wager. The silver trim
mings alone on his coffin cost twelve dol
lars and thirty-iVe cents. John Smith, in
Nebraska, said he could handle a rattle
snake the same as snake-charmer. The
churlishness of the undertaken in demand
ing pay in advance, delayed the funeral four
days. A circus rider in Texas tried to
turn three summersaults on horseback
the other day. The manager sent
back to New Orleans the following day
for another summersault man. A man in
New Jersey couldn't wal for the cars to get
to the depot, and jumped off His widow
has sued the Insurance Company. Few
men would attempt to dry gunpowderi in the
kitchen stove. A man In Canada did. His
aft ;cted family would be glad of any infor-
mssIon as to his Whereabouts. In Massa-
chusetts, the other day, man thought he
could cross the track in advance of the
locomotive. The services at the grave
were very impressive A man warned his
wife in New Orleans not to light fire with
kerosene. She didn't heed the warning.
Her clothes fit his second wife remarkably
well. A boy in Detroit disregarded his
mothers warning not to skate on the river,
as the ice was thin. His mother don't have
to cook for so many as she did into one.
Year: 1870

TWe take from the Parish Magazine this little
story in verse. The moral is plain]


Two little kittens, one stormy night,
Pegan to quarrel and then to light;


One had mouse, the other had noue,


And that was the way the quarrel begun.
'' IN have that mouse" said the biggest cat.
60 KOu'H have that nOusel Wen see about that.
&c / iyiU have that mouse" said the eldest son.
& You Sidnt have that mousel" said the little one
] told you before twas a stormy night
When these two little kittens began 10 fight;
The old woman seized her sweeping broom
And swept the two kittens right out Of the room
The ground was covered with frost and snow,
And the two little kittens had nowhere to goS
So they laid them down on the mat at the door
While the old woman finished sweeping the floor.
Then they crept in as quiet as mice, --r..-
All wet with Snow ard as cold as ice,


For they found il was better that stormy night
To lie down and sleep than to quarrel and fight.
Year: 1870

leaped into a small tree followed by the
bear, which seized his boot. A ball from
the revolver glanced over his forehead, rip
ping a long scratch, but doing him no NOR
tai hurt, and he fell back all In a heap,
dragging off the boot and ran to his mate.
He turned her over with the unhurt paw,
uttered an appalling roar of pain and anger,
and once more ran and hinged at the tree.
Again the revolver scared him back, and
again he ran to his mate, turned her over
and roared. Thus he ran backward and
forward, and each time only the pistol
saved Reeds life, so enormous was the
bears length when he leaped into the tree.
The fifth shot pierced his windpipe, and
he ran and lay down close. beside his mate,
Reed, now loaded again.. and sent a ball
crashing through his brain.


So wonderful was the vitality of the
mighty brute that, with his brains oozing
out, he whined like sick child for twenty
minutes. And thus together they lay,
those iercest brutes We know, and yet SO
constant IN their death.
Year: 1870

The classic Sumner and prominent mem
bers OF the Senate Committee, are in favor
OF one of the most gigantic schemes for sb-
sorbing territory, which throws into the
shade all the operations of that old land
specuator, Seward. 1t is nothing less than
the opening Of negotiations at once with the
Court of St. James for the cession of all the
British possession in North America to the
United States, as an offset to our Alabama
claims. 1t is certainly regret that Seward
is not at the helm of our ship of State TO
maneuvere the "listle game" because he Is
so sharp al land trade wide Alaska pur


chase, and then again, as soon as the bar
gain was closed, he would make . holiday
excursion over the acquired territory, and be
received with eclat by oil the newly added
citizens. The programme should certainly
be carried out, as we cannot think of bal
sncing accounts with England for are such
trivial requirement as the Dominion
when it is ust IS easy TO have all the Brit.
ish possessions on the continent. Like Oliver
Twist our cry is for more" and in this las,
scheme Uncle Sans absorbing" desire may
be gra.ified, to say nothing of maintaining
ourselves in the belief that we are the larg-
est landowners on the globe, besides just
think of the new offices and fat pickings for
presidential brothers in-law, and cousins.
BIZ all means let us have more territory.
Year: 1870

The juggiery of Congress about the ad
mission OF Virginia is to gross for even the
stomach of the N. Y. Tribune to disgest
That paper of the lsh inst. says:


"We regret that the efforts of both House
and Senate yesterday to hasten the admis
sion of Virginia Wore not more successful
The duty of Congress in this matter seems
so plain that we are unwilling to believe it
in the power of the opponents of speedy y
admission to secure much longer delay
Nothing whatever is to be gained by it
much may be lost"


The same paper insimates that some o.
the Cabinet officers furnish their houses al
Government expense, and that this should
be looked into, and who owns and pays 70,
the carriages and horses they use, and 70,
servants in attendance upon them.
Year: 1870

The Pills are genial tonic and corrective
well as a cathartic. They quicken the fow of the
gastric juice and increase its solvent power, thus
assisting the function of digestion, while their
aperient action secures a free passage for the
waste matter of the system through thealment
NAL
Year: 1870

The great difficulty which physicians have
been laboring for centuries to overcome, has at
length been obvisted. A Vegetable Cethsrtic
and alternative more efficient than any mineral
preparation of the same class, and as agreeable
to the taste as ordinary candy is now offered to
the sick in the form OF a Lozenye.
Year: 1870

Nothing but leaves! When the master shall


come


To visit his vineyard below;
No fruit of the spirit no life work Of love!
Can it be that our life shall be so?
Nothing but leaves! And the master shall


come


For frnitage when autumn Is here;
But the bough of life's tree will yield nothing


but leaves,


And there will be yellow and sore.
Nothing but leaves? All the soft summer
H showers, I.H-
And the warm, genial sunshine, in vain;
The bright buds, the blossoms of hope.
Are all gone, and they come not again.
Nothing but leaves! Opportunitis gone,
Aspirations all quenched at their birth,
The higher, the nobler, the holier of life,
All quenched in tho rubbish Of earth.
Nothing but leaves The glad summers gone
And the autumn Il coming cen now
Alas for the tree, it shall wither away;
God looketh for fruit from each bough.
Nothing but leaves! A life lived in vain,
And Oh, how the Good Master gricves
To find that for all he has suffered tor us,
We come laden with nothing but leaves.
Nothing but leaves! Oh, God shall it be
That this life shall so fruitless be found?
No! graft us anew with thy spirit of love,
For without it we cumber the ground.
Year: 1870

I'D rather thrash wheat all day in the
barn." said Reuben Riley to his sister,
as he adjusted an uncomfortable collar
about his sunburnt neck. ethan to go to
this pesky party. never know what to
do with myself, stuck up there in tho par
lor all the evening. II the fellows would
pull their coats OFT; aud go cut and chop
wood on a match ther'd be some sense in
it"


"Well, hate it as bad as you do.
Rubs," said his sister Lucy. 1.-The fact
is, We never 20 nowhere, nor see any
body, and no wonder we feel SO awk.
ward when We do happen to stir up"


The remarks of this brother and sister
were but echoes Of the sentiment Of many
other farmers boys and girls when in
vited out to spend social evening But
poor Lucy had not hit tho true cause OF
the difficulty. 1t was not because they 90
seldom went any place, but because there
was wide difference between their home
and company manners. The true way to
feel at ease in any garb is to wear it OF
ten. II tho pleasing garb OF good man
ners Is only put on upon rare occasions
it will never ct we'll, and never seem com.
Portable.


Learn to behave properly at home, to
cultivate yourselves. Do not cit, or stand
or lounge about in ungainly attitudes, bul
acquire q manly, erect, graceful bearing.
! have never seen such vigorous. hearty
mani bod in any class as among cultivat-
ed farmers sons. Let table manners be
especially be locked after. Ifyou are sc
unfortunate AZ to have = mother careless
in this regard, you must do the best you
can to remedy the early defect in your
home training, Note carefully how we'll
bred people behave, and do your best ia
initiate them. 1t is noble to DO an irnita.
tor of that which is good and beautiful
Above all, IL you wish to be ut home in
society, fill your brains with ideas. Sc,
your mind to work. Wake it cut Of the
slnggishness it would naturally sink into
il yeu we're only plodder, and nothing
more, by good, stirring thought, lfyou
go into society with something In your
mind worth talking about. you will moi
fail to find listeners who will treat you
with respect, and where you are we'll re
ceived you will not fail very soon to find
yourselves at eass.--Country Gentleman,
Year: 1870

Never Keep your cattle Short few farmers
can afford it, II you starve them, they will
starve you.


Rain IS cash to farmer.


The foot Of the owner is the best manure
for land.


Obtain good seed prepare your ground well,
sow early, and pay very little attention to the
moon.


Cultivate your own heart Alright remember
that whatsoevera man soweth, that shall be
also reap"


Keep notes of all remarkable events on your
farm.


Recording even your errors will be Of bene-
fit


Ground once well plowcd is better than
thrice poorly.


Weeds that grow unmolested around the
fences. stumps, and stones, scatter their seeds
over the farm, and are very likely to grow.


When you see fence down, put it up u
il remain until tomorrow, the cattle may get
over


What ought to be done to-day, do it, for to-
morrow i. may rain.


Farmers sons had better learn to hold to tho
plow and feed the pigs, than measure tape aud
cut buttons.
Year: 1870

The OLD-FAsHIoNED MoTHER.-1hat old
fashioned mother One in all the world, the
law Of whose life is love; one who was the di-
vinity of our infancy, and the sacred presence
in the shrine Of our first earthly idolatry ono
whose heart is far below the frosts that gather
so quickly on her brow one to whom We new
er grow old, but in the plumed troop, or In the
grave council, are children still one who wei
comes our coming, and never forgets US
never. And when, in some closet, some draw
er, some corner, she finds garment or toy
that once was ours, how does che weep, as shc
thinks we may be suffering or sad. Docs the
battle Of life drive the wanderer TO the old
homestead at last? her hand is upon his
shoulder; her dim and fading eyes are kindled
with something Of the light Of other days as
she gazes upon the worn and troubled face
4" BE Of stout heart, ny son no harm eau reach
yov here


But sometimes that arm chair is set back
against the wall, the corner is vacant, or oc-
cupied by strangers, and they seek the dear
old occupant in the graveyard. Grant you
never have Pray God never may
Year: 1870

PAINFUL ACcIDENT.-Mr. Robert Kcerl
had painful accident to occur to him last
week. He took from his showcase new
Smith and Wesson's pistol to exhibit to a GUS
toner, and whilst manipulating the hammer
and trigger with the muzzle against the first
Joint of his left hand, it fired, lacerating bis
hand. The pistol never having been used, tho
wonder is how it happened to be loaded. We
suppose Mr.. Keerl thinks shot in the bush
is worth two in the hand. We are glad TO add
that he will not lose his fngcr.-Cidpeper NJ
rance.
Year: 1870

WATER PIPEs.-The Boston Journal Of
Chemistry calls attention to the dangerous
character Of galvanized iron pipes for conduct
ing water to be used for culinary purposes
Instances Of severe poisoning Of families are
continually coming to notice.
Year: 1870

Old Deacon Brown started in life very poor.
He married his wife, Susan, before the days OF
hoops. pads, &c. They had been happy in
their married life, and unto them was born
beautiful girl whom they named Kate, who,
of course, when she grew up, fell in love. Her
choice was a poor but noble young man. The
Deacon and his wife had taught their child to
choose for herself, but do it wisely, and they
were glad to see that she made choice of an
estimable young man, their neishbos's son.


Now, Kate took up notion that she must
have a great many articles for her marriage
and make fashionable show Of dress during
the honeymoon, and, as they lived at only
town, she wrote her father a note, requesting
him to furnish her considerable amount to
buy her outfit, and stated in it that she ex-
pected she would have to send to the city to
get all she needed, whereupon the old man
made he following reply:


DEAREST DAUGHTER-As you are my only
daughter, may call you dearest truly, for |
love you very much. have considered yonr
pote and this is my reply | am sorry to find
YOU possessing weakness of most of your sex,
viz: that YOU think you should have a large
outfit for your wedding and Honeymoon
When | married your dear mother she had but
two calico dresses aud other things to fit, aud
she thought herself well off with them, and ]
really thought her, as took her in her calico
dress. the prettest and sweetest girl in the
land. and have never thought Otherwise
She has made me q dear precious wife, and
has been to me helpmeet indeed. Now, my
dear child, will not refuse you what you ask,
but my observation IN life has convinced me
that those girls who spend heap of money to
provide their outfits for marriage are generally
sure to spend heaps of it afterwards, and that
often they keep their husbands noses to the
grindstone Of misfortune and toll all their lives.


"a great many fine things for your wedding
and its after incidents will make you no sweeter
or prettier to your husband and may make
you a great deal dedrer as to his pocket. If
the man of your choi;e really loves you, as no
doubt be does, it is not for what you have on,
but for the qualities of your person, head and
heart, and as he is a man Of sense, have no
doubt he will think more OF you when he finds
that you have not made any great preparation
for your marriage. There are many gentlemen
in this country now worth millions whose
wives, when they married, had no more than
mine BY this do not mean that you should
have no more; but your mother tells me you
now have five neat every day dres;e and four
Sunday ones, and really they are larger, finer
and better outfit that many millions Of your
sex are able to obtain.


IL make these suggestions for your consid-
Grafton, but leave you to follow them or not,
as your judgement may dictate, and, to show
you this is the fact, | enclose you draft for a
thousand dollars, on my cashier, which you
can use at your pleasure.


u
Year: 1870

OuR courteous and enterprising Democratic
cotemporIry, the Elko Independent, which
has said many good things for our cause, de
MES that Nevada is n republican State, be-
cause the payment of "A four dollars poll tax is
made a condition precedent to registration and
voting. We ask our ncighbor, if that ftEar dol


lar bar to the masculine ballot be removed


would Nevada I've n republican State while


prohibiting absolutely and without condition
portion of its adult population from the use
Of the ballot because of sex? Shall we hear
from the "Independent?'-Pio Pioneer.


No; not absolutely republican; but much
more 50 than now. The old Methodist doc
trine Of perfection" may apply relgously.
but it certainly does not politically. The best
we can do is make the nearest approximation
possible to pure democracy, consistent with
the security Of "A well administered govern
lnent and the preservation of social peace
and order. There is federal as well as a re-
publican principle in this government. So
far as we adopt the representative principle,
we depart from an absolute republcanism
This poll tax requirement unnecessarily makes
the election franchise a mere matter of dollars
and cents. II men are ightfully entitled to
vote at all, they are entitled to that privilege
absolutely, for without it they have no repre-
scntatiOn. 1t is a little different with our
lady friends. They are supposed to have a
representation in the votes Of their husbands,
sons and brothers; and if they do not enjoy
the privileges, honors and emoluments of the
ballot, they are also exempt from the numer-
Gus duties and exactiOns to which the disrrau-
chiscd male is still subject, such as jury duty
and military service. For this reason, we
think the two cases cited by the Pioneer are
not precisely parallel.
Year: 1870

A FEW weeks ago, gentleman living
in AN Eastern town was called out OF his
he'd one morning by several vigorous raps
upon his front-door. Hastily dressing
himself, he responded to the call, and
found standing upon the step an uncouth,
roughly-clad boy, with an axe on his
shoulder, who, hastily thrusting his hand
into his pantaloons pocket, drew out
small roll, and handing II to Judge Ii,
said:
want YOU to put in the savings-bank, and
hastily turned on his heel and started
away.


The Judge, slightly disconnected at the
curious proceeding, scarcely knew what
! to say, till at length, recovering his wits,
he cried out after the boy:


"Stop come back here. How did you
come by this money!


al WORKED, AND EARNED 1T, SIR. My
time was out last night, and L got my
money. I've got a Job chopping, which
I began on this morning, and l thought
| I'd leave the money with you as i went
to work. and then il wouldn't take up my
time this evening when want to study.
"What is your name, my boyy" asked
the Judge.


Il wrote it on the paper that l wrap
ned the money up in" shouted the little
wood chopper as he passed on TO his
work.


That bows note for thousand dollars
due ten years hence would be as good as
gold. If he has his health, he will be worth
double that then.


He is beginning in the right way. The


very day his time was out for the summer,


he entered upon another job, and lmme-


diatcly placed the money he had worked


for where that would work for him; and


with an economy of time which is more 10


be praised than his wise forethought with


regard to money, he could not endure 10
have a moment devoted to any thing but


his books when the long evenings came;


Five wears from To day, with COED
education, with good habits, with few
hundred dollars, which he has earned by
work, his chances for place in the bust


ness and political world will be far greater
T than those of the spendthritt boy who,
born with fortune, begins without know
T ing the worth of money, and instead ot
going up, goes down.-Hedrfh and Home
THE Newark Advertiser suggests new
+ business for the blind. IL says that In


Newark two or three of these unfortunates
sell teas from house TO house, having ap-


parently been directed TO take that par


ticular article by their keen sense of smell
1 and taste. One of them is escorted by
lad from the Foster Home; the other has
borrowed boy from the Orphan ASYLUM
3 to make change and act as guide. Their
teas are procured at the lowest wholesale
prices through the aid OF gentleman who
acts as capitalist for the concern. They
7 have thus raised themselves above the
! level of mendicancy, do not claim TO be
objects of charity, and only ask Tor fair
share of business.


J THE WE-'o the Wtp is the name OF


new London comic paper.
Year: 1870

THE FRENCH GOVERNMENT AND THE
CABLE.-The article given from the Paris
Journal O6icses must go far to disarm that
opposition to the French cable that rests upon
the charges made as to the government censor
ship. All the statements to the detriment of
the French cable originate in the enmity of
the rival cable, while the present statement in
vindication has source that entities it to
respect. 1t is thus shown that the supervision
exercised by the French authorities is in the
interest of the public as against the company,
and in the interest of the government for
purposes of revenue. The first object is to be
certain that messages are sent in the order Of
their reception, the next that q correct
return of them is made for the tax officers.
1t will not be denied that the government in
case Of war would scrutinize every despatch !;
neither can it be denied that our own govern
ment would do exactly the same thing.
Year: 1870

Our Special European Cores pondence.


By special correspondence from Europe we
have an Interestingly instructive elaboration
Of our cable news kilograms to the goth of
December. The instalment which we publish
to-day places before our readers many points
of first information relative to the progress of
the radical agitation in Great Britain, and the
probable results of the united agitation which
is being carried on in Ireland and England
proper, for land reform and the attainment Of
still more extended measure Of democratic
franchise The fact of the march of
British troops to Ireland, with the
description OF the means by which the Irish
revolutionary treasury exchequer is replenished
from London, come in curious contrast, illus
trative Of the new system Of popular peaceful
agitation and the antiquated European one of
military repression. Lord Granville announces
Englands present Cabinet position towards her
colonies. From Italy we have special report
of the platform and progress of the members
of the Anti-Papal or Deistical Council. Madrid
furnishes an enumeration of the crown jewels
once owned by the ex-Queen of Spain. The
catalogue is so glowing and glittering as to
articles and value that Superintendent Ken
nedy will be very apt to wonder on reading it
that the lady did not lose the articles long
before.
Year: 1870

1t appears from telegram from Constan-
tinOple that the Sultan is getting angry at
Ismail Pacha because the Khedive does not
abandon his iron-clad feet and had not
answered the communication of the Sultan
demanding that. The telegram referred to
says the Sublime Porte had forwarded a vlo-
lent message to Ismail Pacha on Friday last to
the same effect regarding the feet 1t is evil
dent the Suez Canal has both stimulated the
ambition of the Khedive and alarmed the
Sultan as to the future of Egypt. There is
the germ of trouble in that part of the world
arising out of the successful completion of the
Suez Canal, and it may lead to war before long
unless the great Powers interpose. While the
Sultan remains nominally master of the situa-
ton the Khedive carries away all the glory.
The Suez Canal still remains, however, a
cause Of trouble. The Khedive has spent too
much money. His debts, it is said, amount to
some six millions sterling. His expenses
connected with the Suez Canal have been
enormous. He is in the market for more
money. It will not be wonderful if Ismail
Pacha becomes bankrupt. 1t will be as
little wonderful If the bogus bonds of
the Suez Canal should be universally
despised What will follow? Will France
seize the canal, or will France and Great
Britain become joint proprietors Of Egypt,
or shall we have war for the possess
sion of this new key to the treasures of the
East ? In any case Ismail Pacha has written





his name on the page of history. Through the
Suez Canal the world has taken an onward and
upward step. 1t cannot go back. Ismail
Pacha may suffer, the Sultan his master
may suffer, others may suffer, but the canal
will remain and the world will be the gamer.
If the worst should come to the worst it will
only be a repetition Of the old story-perfec-
ton through suffering.