Year: 1872

, George w., of magnificent memory,
said that woman was at the bottom OF
jail troubles man got himself into. One
line day, painter in His Majesty's pal.
ace fell down from ladder and broke his
leg.


''Who is she Who is she ?"- asked
the King.


"May it please your Majesty, it is &
man."


Nonsense, nonsense! Who is she p
again demanded His Majesty.


May it please your Majesty, it is a
man."


But the King was in the right. The
painter had broken his leg because he
had leaned too far over his ladder for
the purpose of giving kiss to one of
the royal housemaids.


Now 10 apply the august maxim, and
show how Mrs. Brownsmith got me into
trouble


My wife is splendid woman, as you
would say, if you saw her. But proud
as | was of her, we had not been mar
ried long before l saw that if was to
be master for life, must assert my au-
thority at once and forever.


waited for an opportunity, and an
opportunity came.


We were in the breakfast room of our
little villa, near. Sandstone, and long
altercation ended thus


"Well, Mr.. Brownsmith, if you have
made up your mind not to take me to
the seaside, l have made up my mind to
go to my mothers house, and stay there
till you choose to behave like man land
not like savage. l 60"


With an elegant sweep of her rustling
petticoats she left the room; and shortly
after, saw her cross the garden in the
direction of Accacia Cottage, where my
beloved mother in law resides-unhap-
PLY for me, within Eve minutes walk of
us.


"Fll show her-I'E tame her lady
ship" in an evil moment l thought to
myself.


SO packed small portmanteau, Or
dered fly to take me to the station, land
left this note on my wife's dressing to
BILE:


"DEAR AUGUSTA: / leave for London
by the 80 express, and shall not return
until l receive an apology from you
My address will be Langham Hotel,
Portland-place. W.


Sunny Villa, Friday"


Certainly, l thought, I had the best of
it. There shone before me a pleasant
run to town-Exhibition in the morn
ing, theaters and opera in the evening, a
conquerors return home and triumphant
entry into my house before my subdued
wife, an overlooking forgiveness on my
part, joyful reconciliation, and peace
forevermore. Soon, with excited spir-
its, l was borne away from my home to-
wards London by the express, There
was bat one occupant of the 6rst-class
carriage with me, and most agreeable
companion he was-full of conversation,
we'll educated, as far as ] could judge,
very ohliging and entertaining. The
only thing did not like about my COM
panion was his style of dress. 1t was
most decidedly of the outre order
Boots with patent leather tips; trousers
Of monstrous pattern; low-cut, high.
co]ored waistcoat, across which wander
ed chain apparently so massive that
any hotel-keeper to whom it was offereo
would gladly allow one to live luXuri-
ously on the strength of it for month
Then as l raised my eyes higher, my
sight was dazzled by the sight of huge
blue satin scarf, fastened by a pin of
gigantic size. Add q cutaway green
coat, unbuttoned,a white open overcoat,
a white hat, and bright kid gloves, and
you have before you the dress of my
companion. However, he was down.
right good fellow, and most amusing
elsa ris, and very glad was to travel
in such good society. Anecdotes with
out end were poured into my enchanted
ear. My quarrel, my wife, my home,
were all forgotten; and, in the highest
spirits, we rushed along towards Lon
don at the rate of some forty miles an
hour. 1 had almost forgotten to say
that early in the journey my friend, who
had ia flask of sherry, had placed it at
my disposal. We had passed r
station, when the gentleman with whom
l was travelling directed my attention to
some alterations that were being made
in Mr.. Montgomery's park. By leaning
out of the window, l could get good
view of them. AS drew my head in,
my friend kindly handed me nv pocket
handkerchief which had dropped
The wind and dust which l had picked
up while hanging out of the carriage
window caused me to use my pocket
handkerchief freely about my face and
nose. How very sleepy l felt-how l
yawned! recollect no thing more, save
that | think my friend took his pocket
handkerchief and kindly wiped my face.
When say recollect nothing more, l
am hardly using the right expression
| mean that can recall nothing more
that occurred in my friends presence
Would to heaven that l could remember
nothing more!


The next thing I can recall is feeling
latuoi Oolu, tnCl, lallol SouiuoOu e''iN
cramped. seemed apparently to be in
a coffin, and without shroud on. In, a
few minutes discovered that was lying
under the seat of the carriage in the
state Adam was in when he was made
no, just a trife more clothed than he
was, for l had a pal: of socks and a
flannel waistcoat. So you can easily un-
derstand that was neither very warm
nor very presentable. When had sue
ceeded in dragging myself out of my
bed, still felt drunk and confused; but
as I gradually collected my senses,I saw
that my late absent friend had left be-
hind him, for my use, his patent tipped
boots, buff trousers, gaudy waistcoat,
scarf and pin, white coat and hat. More
over he had not forgotten to draw down
the blinds. He had, however, discov-
cred, taken my purse with him, and had
forgotten to leave his own behind. Be-
tween yawning and matchmaking, a
few more moments passed away. Snd,
denly | heard the sharp, shrill whistle,