smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1876

How TWO DOCS DISEp OK A
STEAK.-The Green Bay wis
State Gazette relates the following
fable: "a large dog belonging to
one of our citizens and who usually
accompanies his master to market in
the capacity Of porter, was intrusted
with a fine steak, securely wrapped
in paper, to carry home. The ami
NAL erasped the parcel between his
teeth and trolted home ward beside
his master. A short distance from
tie butchers the gentleman entered
another store, leaving the dog with
the parcel standing on the sidewalk
Shortly two vagahond-looking ours
arrived on the spot aud began snuff
fing about. Finally, the larger OF
the two ours began growing and
barking at the guardian of the steak,
who stood this sort Of thing tor some
time, in calm and digniiied man.
ner, till, finally, his bullying tormen
tors probably having applied some
opprobrious epithet TO him. he open,
ed his mouth to reply, and of course,
dropped the steak on the ground. =
The vagabond cur rctreated, and the
other dog now fully exasp,ratcd,
set off in pursuit of him. IN IN in.
stant, vagabond eur, No. =, who had
been standing of short distance,
apparently a silent spectator OF the
scene, sprang forward and seized the
steak in his mouth, and put of in an
opposite direction. Not long after,
and in an alley not far from the scene
of thi, little episode, were two ours
holding Il high festival over rich,
juicy steak, and these two ours were
the identical ones engaged in the
transaction previously related. Who
can say that this was not put up
job between these two uutcasts OF
canine society,"
Year: 1876

SHE MEANT BUSINESS They have
some queer girls over in Colorado.
One of them who resides in the Cache
la Poudre valley had been receiving
the attentions of young man foI
about a year, but becoming impatient
at his failure to bring matters to d
crssis, she resolved to ascertain his
intentions. When he next called she
took him gently by the ear, led him
to a seat, and said:


"Nobby, you've bin foolin' round thi'
claim fur mighty near q year, an hev
never yet shot of yer mouth on the
marvin biz. I've cottoned to yer en-
the square clean through, an hey
stood off every other galloot thet ha,
tried ter chip IN; an now | want yer
to come down to bizness or leave the
rancho. Ef yer on the marry an want
a pari that'll stick rite to ye till We
pass in yer checks an the good Lord
calls We over the range, just squeal an
we'll hitch; but efthat amt yer game
draw out and give some other feller a
show fur his pile. He sang. .-Lara
ME SIN.
Year: 1876

EyCIrIHG.-Just as the fast trot,
ting on Rose street yesterday after
noon had reached a point OF bursting
excitement, when some of the horses
had got right down to business and
were really going inside of nine min.
ute>, an elderly woman and hel
daughter turned off Main street on tc
Rose ard headed the oil mare fOr
home.


The wagon was of the ragged edge
make, and was the Identical one that
G. Washington used to go in to see
his girl. The old mare was a con
sumptive affair and wore 500 worth
of native spavins and ringbones tc
match.


They were sailing ma ac>tically
down Rose street, the blind animal
smelling her way along and the old
lady telling Tilda how streaked she
felt when that pert Young clerk show
ed her stocking that looked like store
candy" when the hard breathing
trotters came up behind with terri
BILE clatter, and began to pull ont
alongside the ponderous caravan.


The old lady uttered just one
word


"Sassy "


And she gave the old mare q tooth
less cluck and shook the rcins.


The trotters sailed by. The old la.
dy fired the butt end of the re;ns nj
the old mare, and braced against the
dash board


The trottcrs sailed along.


The old lady told Tilda to hang on,
and yelled:


"G'lang, Fanny whish Z. shoe
Cup"


The old mare broke into hippity-
hop cantcr.


The old ladv's bonnet flew off and
hung by the throat-atch, and her
glasses balanced themselves Oh the
end of her nose and hung Oh with
both hands.


\ bag OF bran in the back end of
the wagon bobbed up and down like
a hoy with the stomach ache, and the
road track looked as if squad of in
toxicatcd wheelbarrows had been run
ming sack race.


The trottcrs came back.


The old lady soothed her rickety
animal back 10 n trot, and adjusted
her bonnet and spectacles, spitefully
circulated


Sassy !-Kalamazoo Telegraph.
Year: 1876

Know We the land by the salt seawashed
The land thst gave me birth,
Where the shamrock grows and the Shan


non flows,


The fairest land on earth.
Where my heart is still and forever will,
Though divided by many a mile,
/ still am there in that isle an fair,
In that dear old green old isle
When the morning breaks with foods


of light.


And the sun begins to shine,
| look to the East from the far off West
To that dear old land divine.
And breath PRAYER with devotion rare
And ! ait and cry awhile
For that long-left land, and oppression


banned,


For that dear old green old isle.
And when through the day / toll and


sweat,


| often wish for wings
To fly DER the foam to my native home,
To which nv memory clings
Like ivy leaves to the crumbling caves
Of some old ruined pile,
And my heart takes flight at the dead o!


night.


To that dear old green old isle.
May the God that rocks this earth at will
Look down sweet isle on thee
With an eve Of peace till thy sorruws cease
Till acruss the Irish sea
Thy foes will fly to another sky,
And NAV dovc-eysd mercy smile
On thy wales and hills and gushing rills,
Ny dear old green aid isle.
Year: 1876

Two men, both of correct habits
both industrious, settled on farms ad.
joining each had about the same land.
ed area. The one had his farm given
him, the other bought his and paid
500 down and Il mortgage note for
the balance. Twenty years after
found the gift farm checked with
mortgages and the occupant compell-
ed to move off-the other had paid
for his farm in full-educated three
boys, built new house and model
barn, and had n respectable sum OF
money in mortgage notes. Both stuck
to the farm, but the difference WAS
evident. One put a good share OF
brains into all his plans, the other
tarmed it blind
Year: 1876

Young man this is the year when
your slips of vanity will come home
10 rcost upon your empty head
This is the year when the young wo-
men you used to wink and smile at
upon in the streets, will like sun
beams pass you by, and the Ancient
older of females will appropriate TO
themselves the pleasure of coming
down upon you in payment for all
the necessary sweetness You have
wasted upon their sex. Do you lock
out' Look not upon the female
nose when it is red, end do not suf
fer yourself to be approached by a
bald head covered with fine mill
inery. 1t wont do to annoy the girls
there, no sir, in total abstinence alone
there is safety.
Year: 1876

A Pennsylvania says that he en-
tered a car and when tho brakeman
came inside and took key out OF
his pocket, unlocked tse stove, put
in some wood and locked the door
again, he asked him what he locked
the stove door for and he shut his
left eve and said he locked the door
80 the FIRE couldn't 20 out.
Year: 1876

The man who leaves the door open
in winter is the same person who in
variably closes it in summer, and
he's around. Arrangements are now
being perfected whereby bounty
will be paid for his scalp.
Year: 1876

\ teacher of one of our schools said
the other day "Now my little boys
and girls, want you to be very still
that you can hear a pin drop" In
q moment all was silent WHEN one ot
the little boys in the room cried out
LET her drap."
Year: 1876

An old gentleman at picnic recently fclt
what he thought to be yellow JACKET crawl
ing up under bis trowsers legs. Grasping it
with hi hands from the outside, be started for
the cars aud for home, all the while clinging
TO a handful Of tronser leg be had gathered
up. After having reached home and spend
ing nearly two hours 10 trying to uDdress with
out releasing his grasp upon The trousers, he
found that instead Of yellow jacket it was
merely wisp Of grass that bad worked its
way up lis leg. There Is not money enough
10 this world 10 induce US to repeat what be
said afterwards.
Year: 1876

The Washington Star is growing funny 10
its old age. Just listen:


To the average young woman Of the period,
life without supply Of cardinal red ribbon is
a boon hardly worth being thankful FOR just
low.


l am no. well this week and cannot kick"
rs I am inclined to, but, loved CAPITAL, next
week mean to kick, and il | do DOT gain
ANYTHING have nothing to lose, and if don't
make It lively for some people in the Interior
Department, with the facts can swear to, my
name is not


Roberts, in Washington Capital.


With tie gentle Roberts " performing such
uneeutle evolntions in their direction some
people will possibly wish they were dead.
Year: 1876

New York Letter to Buffalo Courier
One of the most frequent habitues
of Fifth avenue is an old Polish
Count who has taken his daily stroll


there for over twenty years. His


story is as strange as any that the


novelists invent. Twenty-eight years


ago he was cast into prison for taking


part in the Polish insurrection. He


was betrothed to young woman, and


she visited him frequently in prison
and cheered him with hopes of speedy
release Finally she proposed mea-
sure that would insure his freedom.
Money would be necessary, q great
deal of it. He possessed considera-
BILE wealth, but owing to his situation
could not command it. She suggest
ed that if it were in her hands she
could use it to get him out of prison.
They would then leave the country
together, marry, and be happy. His
faith IN her devotion was strong. The
property that was his became hers.
Her influential friends were at work,
she said, and he would be released
very soon. One day her usual visit
was not made. Another day passed,
and another, and she did not come.


A week passed, and the lonely pris-
oner then learned that he had been
deceived. His beautiful intended
bride had turned his property into
cash and eloped with man whom he
had always regarded as q friend. A
year afterward his prison doors
opened, and he walked forth to free
dom. A few brief inquiries satisfied
him that the woman and her accom-
plice had made their way across the
ocean. He determined to follow them,
and came to New York. 1t was
months before he got any trace of
them. He then learned that they
had gone westward, and he went to
st. Louis in pursuit. They had gone
to New Orleans; he followed them.
For over year he continued the
chase, visiting in turn almost every
city in the United States, but never
overtaking them. At last he returned
to New York, and in less than week
he met them face to face in Broad
way. He upbraided the woman and
fercely threatened the man. The
upshot of all was a proposal from the
latter that so shocked the Count that
he turned away speechless. Said the
scoundrel, in substance: "Take her
now and marry her if you wish to. l
don't want her any longer" The
Count never saw them again. Two
years later he heard of the woman's
death by suicide, and he procured n
decent burial for the body. What
became of her companion he neither
knew nor cared.
Year: 1876

The strength of the American Re-
public is the universal desire to own
a home. 1t is molding all the peo-
pie, native and foreign born, into one
homogeneous mass. The ownership
of a. home is something of which
neither the Irish peasant nor the
German laborer have, in their own
country, any conception; but here it
is the goal of their hopes and desires.
Education comes next; it is some
thing the need of which is not felt
until the adornments of home are
thought Of This desire to own the
roof under which one sleeps is dis
tinctively an American characters
tic, and seems by nature adapted to
the growth which is raising us in i'm
portance in the scale of nations. 1t
is the link which connects the man
with the Government; it adds to his
interest, in the making and execution
of the laws, and identifies him with
the usages and customs of the people.
1t is this element which gives the
people of Switzerland their unity and
power and the lack of it causes nine
teuths of the unrest in ireland. No
feeling is stronger than the attach
ments of home, and no nation whose
people possess this as a common SEN
timent can lose its liberties.
Year: 1876


"It's only little grave" they said;
ssIt's only inst child that's dead"
And so they carelessly turned away
From the mound the spade had made


that day.
All they did not know how deep shade
That little grave in our home had made.
| know the coain was narrow and small,
One yard would have served for an am


pie pail;
And one man i'm his arms could nave


borne away
The rosebud and its freight of clay;
But know that darling's hopes were


hid


Beneath that little coffin-lid.
| know that mother had stood that day
With folded hands by that form OF clay !;
l know that burning tears were hid
''Neath the dropping lash and aching


lid;'
And know her lip and check and brow,
Were almost as white as her baby's now.
know that some things were hid away,
The crimson frock and wrapping gay
The little sock and half-wOrn shoe,
The cap with its plumes and tassels


blue,
And empty crib with its cover spread,
AS white as the face of the sinless dead.
'Tis little grave, but Oh, beware!
For worlds wide hopes are buried there;
And ye1perhaps in coming years,
MAY see like her through binding tears,
How much of light, how much of joy,
Is buried with an only boy.


KATE.
CAMPAIGN.
Year: 1876

A BosroN girl on visit to Low
ell friend, has been cutting up as
somnambulist. She got up the other
morning, without the knowledge OF
the house, and, going out upon the
streets, wandered about in her night
clothes for an hour. Half q mile
from the house of her friend, she be
gan ringing peoples door-bells and
fumbling about as if trying to get
into some of the houses, and some
body fired a pistol at her. Partly
wakened, she screamed, and began
running about in very excited man
ner. Finally, seeing n policeman
she implored protection, and was
taken to her lodgings.
Year: 1876




Until Of late the large capabilities Of the
English language have not been fully known
in the argus office, and the editors of that
journal have contented themselves With the
use of limited, nelegant, but tolerably ex-
pressive vocabulary which possessed at least
one merritt conveyed the meaning intended
by its employers. But within a short time a
master Of figurative speech, a verbal gym
mast, man who plays strange pranks with
his mother tongue and in his loftier flights
goes into the air with it and mashes it beyond
all recognition, has made his appearance in
the Argus editorial columns. He signalized
bis advent by an assault, evidently with in
tent to kill, upon Mr.. Blaine and the Eng
llsh language, showing a deadly enmity to
both, and accusing the ex-Speaker of "put-
ting in epesode." Mr.. Blaine escaped with
out injury, but the English language was
frightfully mauled. Thursday the man of
hate returned to the double attack. AS
before Mr.. Blaine was not damaged, but
the language was undeniably worsted-
nay, it was fustian. The verbicide started
with the assertion, which has at first
reading the appearance of great philosophi-
cal truth, that sit takes the bulk of men sew
eral hours to see just how they stand after
stirring up" After this delicate reference to
sea-sekness the writer proceeded to assault
Mr.. Blaine-and the English language. Re-
minding the ex-Speaker that "such selfcon-
ceit and misconception of the scope of Con.
gressional inquiry never before appeared on
any STAGE" he goes on to say that Democrats
"can see the beginning of that dawn where
in men must have the light upon them and
stand or fall, at least somewhat according as
thev have deserved" (If they can they are
roosters indeed.) Then without giving the
dazed reader time to discover that the para
graph hasn't even glimmer of meaning the
audacious writer, remarking that Blaine is
insatiably ambitious and selfish, brings his
article 10 close with this magnificent burst
of rhetoric: cit is no news 10 the Sachem of
York county whose body has for years been
bleaching on the ragged edge of remorse
over Blaine's sin." That Sachem ought to
be the whtest man in Maine if there be any
virtue in the bleaching process.


Not content with one attack upon his hat
ed foe the man of blood renewed the assault
in an editorial paragraph in which the thor
oughly bewildered reader is informed that
Senator Morton "sts in his seat alone" (the
selfish fellow never once offering to share his
chair with his brother Senators) and "sees
the turkey gobbler strut across the Senate
chamber with the Empire State in his hand"
Fancy the amazement of the sober citizen on
learning of this new species of turkey, sort
of missing link, which has hands, and hands
large enough to hold the State of New York
Now are the dodo and Daniel Pratt outdone,
the one by the strange bird which strutted
before Senator Morton's appalled, gaze, the
other by the athletic writer in his ground and
lofty tumble with the English vocabulary.
Year: 1876

nor The machine vote, which was perhaps
not worth getting, but the great multitude Of
middle class, ordinary Republicans, and he
read the minds of these respectable millions
like bOok.-N. Y. Tribune


For his enemies have said about all they
can say against Mr.. Blaine, they have ez-
hausted their ammunition, and viii find it
difficult to get out anything new against
him. To put up new man as candidate
would be TO open up fresh and virgin posi-
bilities of SANDER. We now know the worst
that can be said of Mr.. Blaine, and its falsi-
ty, but we do not know what might be
Dro1ght up against any new man. The risk
at Cincinnati is the nomination of new
man, and not of one who has been weighed
anu not found wanting ,-SpTinqfeld Union.
Year: 1876

We do not read anonymous letters and communi-
cations. The name and address of the writer are IN
all cases Indispensable not necessarily for publication
but as guaranty of good faith.


We cannot undertake to return or reserve commu-
ncations that are not used.
Year: 1876

COMPLAINTS or FOREIGNERS Al THE ANSOYAHCES


IurY HAVE SUFFERED THROUGH RED TAPE AND


NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. IN PoiNr.


irPoN THE REGULAR CORRESPONDENT or THE TRiBUNE.I


PHILADELPHIA, June 2O.-1here is one feature
of the Exhib ton that the foreign Commissioners are
very severe upon namely the Cusomhouse regulations
scarcely representative OF foreign country III without
mis- speciI grievance against the Cusonbouse officials,
and all Join la coudemnug tarn system In general
and the stupid and red tape manner OF Its administration
40 fur as Exhibition goods concerned In particular
They complain that they have been treated as though
they were importers Of doubtful character suspected OF
an intention 10 smugge, and have heeD subjected To no
end of foIalitcs delays and needless nconveniences


single instance among dozens that might be gwen
will snow that these complaints have abundant ground
Ia rest upon. When the frat shipment Of 600 cases OK
Austrian goods arrived IN NewYorh, the Commissioner
from that country was notified To produce the invoices
Unfortunately the documents did not come by tho same
steamer. After a deal OF teegraphing an order was
finally obtained the Secretary Of the Treasury to let
the goods Puadelp Ala, but In the meal. .timo
the officials In Ncw-York although knowing that
they exempted by law from duty put
the whole cargo into the general stores AMI
would not release 1t until the Commissioner had paid
sum Of over $780, In other country the officials
would have been repimanded II not discharged the
money would have been promptly refunded, and an
ample apology rendered 1t needless TO say To any one
familiar with the administration Of the New-fork
house that nothing Of the sort has been done


the Vienna Exhibition the inclosure Of the Fair was
Year: 1876

amount of specie. that is. precious metals,
in existence, obtainable, Is not sufficient
to effect the changes to be made; they
therefore propose the issuance of paper
money, based upon, but larger in amount,
than the specie itself In determining the
amount or rather the excess Of paper over
specie, they claim to be governed by a
natural law, which though it hardly mer-
its the name, yet is semblance Of law.
They say: For each specie dollar we Will
issue four paper dollars, and claim to be
governed by law which says that in the
ordinary run Of business only one paper
dollar of four III circulation will be pre-
sented for redemption III specie at one
time. This is the law, or semblance Of
law by which specie basis men claim to
govern the amount of paper money to be
issued. Ii works, as they say themselves,
in ordinary business times, when only one
Of the four paper dollars issued Is present
ed for redemption at any one time, but IN
the case of a panic, we know that all four
of the paper dollars are presented for re-
demption at the same time, and the law
holds rot good. The law becomes no law.
Now, | ask, where is the Law by which
non-specie basis men will regulate the
amount Of paper money to be issued by
the government If there is such law
of nature, principle good under sill cir
cunIstances. and at all times, then let US
have it. Believing that you, Mr.. Cary,
have the good of producers at heart and
will be kind enough to give the required
information through the columns Of the
WoRKINGMAN' ADVOCATE,


remain, yours most respectfully,


JOHN BoRNHoLT.