smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1871

/ Now that most Of us have "acceptcd The


sltuation," or at least said we do. LEFT lis


prove the sincerity Of our declarations by
general suspension of business on the


Fourth of July, and have a grand old
fashioned jollification on that day.


1t was always regarded and so kept in


Virginia, up to the breaking out of the war.
as the grand gala day for politicians when
we could come together and hear the prin-
ciples and merits of each party discussed
by their friends over a 'sbarbecue'' or
"fisi-fry; and although different political
views were expressed, when the orators
had finished their fiery eloquence there was
such an union of hands and hearts as made
us feel proud that we were American citi-
zens. We have never relaxed our devotion
to the day and the cause it represented, but
the majority of our people have.


Can we not go back to the good old times
OF the past and eat drink and grow merry
together, or shall we longer continue with
RED glarmg eyes of hate, Swapping and
snarllng and biting at each other? Week
tend the olive branch of peace, and ask our
political enemies to unite with us in build,
ing up a better anti holier feeling? We
move In the matter, now let us see how
many of the ''new departure" will come to
our assistance.
Year: 1871

| ELMA AND OURSELVES
sprightly correspondent of the Norfolk


Journal, of this city, who signs himself


''Etn'a," pays us passing compliment, for
which he will please accept our thanks. He
expresses the hope that we will discard,
with our old type, much of our old viru-
lence in politics.


we would be most happy to accommo-
Gate ourselves to the wishes of "ELmo.n
but lind it impossible to do so. We pub
irsh a Republican paper, devoted to the in.
terests Of our party and the community in
which we live, as well as that of our State
and government.


We desire to be liberal, to be generous
and kind, and if we occasionally write vir-
'llent articles, they are in response to the
poison coming from our enemies. "Elma,o
it seems to us, Knows something of the
difficulties of journalism, therefore ought
to know the impossibility of pleasing every
body. We cannot satisfy all of our own
party.


We are ready at all times to be recipro-
cal, and to meet our political enemies, in
whatever spirit they approach US, and if
F." Eima" will show us wherein we err, we
will show him where his friends have COM
mitted double the offense.


We should be very glad to furnish
paper to suit everybody, but as our expert
ence has taught us the impossibility of sue
cess, we do the best we can under the cir
We shall continue our efforts
to furnish lively and interesting paper to
the majority of our readers, and hope
"Eima" and our friends will bear with
us in our earnestness for the party to wlich
IRE belong.
Year: 1871

A SHAKER ELOPEMENT.-Pit Pittsfield,
Mass, was thrown into an abnormal state
of excitement on Thursday morning last by
a report that Ira Lawson, the leading busi-
ness man and financier of the church family
Of the Hancock Shakers, had eloped on the
previous evening with Sister Eliza Van
Valen, matronly and prepossessing lady
OF about his own age, and some loose
change for their use and convenience. The
first known of this intended departure was
Wednesday noon. The preparations of the
couple excited some little surprise in the
minds of the Shaker sisters, just after the
dinner hour, and led to inquiries as to such
unusual measures. Ira was interrogated
by some of the leading Shakers, and admit
ted frankly his intention Of taking leave
that evening, and gave his reasons therefor.
He expressed his intention of returning in
"a week or ten days" for the purpose of
adjusting all matters of business and of
giving his successor an insight into the way
of doing things, and his temperance IS
confidently expected. They are about 35
years of age.
Year: 1871




Dog Cd1Rtdt.-We are not informed of
the occasion, nor do we know anything of
the political movements of the Dog world.
but, we are sure, last night was an impor-
tant one to the canine species. From Ore
gon Hill to Chimborazo, from the river to
Maddox Hill, there was an internal howl.
su1ilclent to create a wonder in the minds
OF every body in the city. From the deep
toned voice of the cur, to the shrill. sharp
bark OF the shaggy poodle, all united to
render night hideous, and to prevent those
who have to labor from securing that repose.
necessary to their comfort.


Is it not shame that in a community so
reflned as our own, we are compelled to be
annoyed by the sight and noise of these
horrld brutes, who go trailing their nasty
carcasses through our streets, much to the
disgust OF decent people? We implore the
to pray on Saturday, and
make tour of the city some Sunday lust
to secure number of these brutes whose
owners pay no tax. The dogs have learned
when Sunday comes as well as the most in
telllgent human being. On the Sabbath.
from the NANCY pup to the huge bitch drag
glng her ponderous self along, they NAV
be seen IN every street. No one is safe.
nor do we know at what moment our wives
and children may be savagely attacked and
torn to pieces by some of them. Elsewhere
we record the severe biting of a child on
BANK street yesterday, by one ofthem.
Year: 1871

Wea Potm.-So many accounts come to
us, gill agreeing, that West Point is de-
llghttul resort, that we are disposed to stick
our nose INTO business, which may not be
considered exactly ours. We venture any
way.


The York River road, although at present
reasonable in its rate of charges, between
here and there, could make more money,
we believe, by reducing their fare on Sun
days for the round trip to Jiffy cents. This
looks like nothing almost, but to many
persons who would like to 40 to West
Point, it is a large sum.


We don't intend to offer any argument
upon the subject, but would suggest trial
OF the experiment, and let us see the re-
suit. Next Sunday let special train be
put upon the road, charging so cents for
the round trip, and we believe more clear
money will be realized than at the present
rates. II costs but little more to carry five
sons
Year: 1871

Shoo Fly There is now on exhibition
at Ford's hotel patented invention. by
means OF which persons can keep away flies
with but little trouble. The inventor Is
ready to sell county and State rights, and
may be found with the machine at Ford,s.
Year: 1871

A DIVORCE BILL is before the New
York Legislature which is a decided
innovation upon former divorce laws.
Ii il should pass, Ii would have the
effect Of destroying the traditional
sancity of the marriage relation in
its quality as an alliance too sacred
to be trifled with by DEGREES of court.
The bill gives the supreme court
the discretionary power to allow any
person against whom decree Of di-
vorce may have been granted, to re-
marry, provided three years
had elapsed after the decree
was made. According to this law, a
man may be divorced aud marry as
often as he chooses. He has only to
place himself in the position of de-
fendant In divorce suit to free him
self, and after three years waiting,
ne will be at liberty to marry again,
If he should desire to do so. Knaves
OF both sexes would undoubtedly
avail themselves OF such law to
make marriage and divorce shame
less speculation.
Year: 1871

During the war young soldier Of
Westfield, Mass, enjoyed the luxury
of reading his own obituary, the
same having arisen from a natural
mistake in the list of killed in GER
tain battle. He returned home at
the close Of the war, and married;
but, probably having desire to read
some more about himself, he myste-
riously disappeared, leaving his fam
lily nothing but the supposition that
he was once more dead. 1t was re-.
ported, indeed probably by his own
connivance, that he had been drown
ed, and he read the report while liv~
ing in Northern New Hampshire,
and did not choose to deny it. A
short time since, however, he
heard that his father was lying at the
point Of death, and hastened to his
bedside. The old gentleman lived
only long enough to recognize him,
and after his death 1t transpired that
he had left all his property amount
ing to about $4,000. to the young
mans step-mother and her children


by another husband. The youth had


enjoyed his joke for q considerable
time, but the end OF il was not exact


ly pleasant; particularly as added to
the loss of the property was the loss
of his wife, who had married anoth-
er during his absence. Now he was
fatherless, wifeless and penniless,
and nobody really cares whether he
dies or not.
Year: 1871

/ The New York Tribune says: "A
newspaper comes to the Tribune from
western city with the indorsement
upon the margin, X or be damned
The alternative Is fearful but, as of
two evils the Tribune makes it q rule
always to choose the least, IL declines
to 'X.'" A "little story" is appro-
pirate here: Some years ago a young
man of culture and good taste went
to hear well known ranter preach.
Getting disgusted before the sermon
was half through, he left his seat,
and was going on tip toe toward the
door, when the preacher roared out,
young man had you rather go to
hell than here me preach 2" Some-
what startled at first, the young man
faced about, and with a graceful bow
responded: "On the whole, parson,
/ think would!
Year: 1871

The testimony OF the daughters OF
the parties TO y recent Indians di.
vorco suit seems conclusive: : Father
got mad because mother starched his
stockings. Mother picked up the
stockings and hit father on the head
with them, and ID sounded as though
they were sticks of wood. Father
then stuffed ho: wheat cake down
mothers throat, and then mother set
The dog on father, and twisted the
dogs tail To make him bite harder
Year: 1871

lias. A most unpleasant smile curl
ed the latter's lip as he regarded poor
Toms sheepish face. and heard his
halfstuttered apologies. He would
not listen to any explanation though,
nor would he permit Tom to go and
apologize to Alice herself, who by
this time had fed TO the ladies' room,
under the protection of two lady
friends. . ......sa ......s


1t was hardly fair for the old gem
tleman to use Tom so, after he had
expressed himself as only too ready
to make the best amends In his pow
er; nor was 1t nice to sensitive ears
when the old chap said:


II consider my daughter under my
own care from this moment. You
will please excuse me-"


Tom bowed to this stroke as only
gentleman would. and despite all my
efforts to detain him, hurried away
from the building soon after.


Alice and her father appeared on
the ballroom floor some time after
the dancing had commenced, and
before they had been there many
moments papa honored me with an
introduction to the dear gal.


1 was in my uniform az an officer
of the regiment, and perhaps that
was the reason / was so suddenly
taken into notice; still I have an
opinion that he only intended to get
her Off his hands for a while that he
might go and drink wine with some
other governor" that he knew.


Well, Alice was in too nervous a
state to plunge into the dancing. So
we coLtented ourselves with prom
enading between the dances until
Mr.. May returned. Then Alice COM
planned of headache, and expressed
wish to go home.


"Now, Barton" said the ole chap,
as handed them into the carriage
1--WE must not be such strangers So
cially, as we have been. You must
call and see us; we shall be glad to
have you-very glad / assure you"
Alice repeated her fathers invitation,
and-but why need talk further,
Darlington? You know what Tom
Staplcton's blunder did for me.


From which, We deduce this moral:
Never carry business cards In the
pockets of your dress coat.
Year: 1871

On its face this purports to be a
common contract note, only conlis
tionally payable, and which no third
party would ever purchase. But
when the sw indler gets the note safe
in bis own hands, he cuts IL in two
Mt the vacant space that will be seen
running perpendlcularly through
the document just after the word .or'
whereby the left end becomes q note
of hand, which the rascal sells q.
whatever price he can get. and leaves
the swindled farmer and innocent
purchaser OF the note To settle the
matter as best they may.--Dubuque
Ygyyago
Year: 1871

"A Boston shoe dealer detected a
man in the act of stealing pair OF
boots from his store q day or two ago
who proved to be selectman, a
bank director, a church deacon. and
a man of means, position and family
in country town not far from the
city. He asserted that he was driven
to the theft by an Irresistible influ-
ence, and he was allowed to DEPART
after paying for the boots.
Year: 1871

MIR. GRANT.-Gen. Grant came to the
Presidency from the head Of the army,
without knowing, or indeed caring, about
the structure Of the Government he helps
to control, and has carried to the Execu-
Mansion the thoughts, habits and regula-
tions of the barracks. He seems impressed
with the belief that his department is the
Government, aud that the better way to
govern is by orders such as made the mill
tary in the field efficient and its head re
sponsible. Ignorant as it is possible for a
man to be and escape guardianship; inca.
pable Of being taught; jealous Of men
who may despute with him the succession !;
shy of the more intelligent and refined |;
he has gathered about him creatures for
advisers who flatter and fawn that profits
may accrue, and made his Administration
a series of blunders so palpable that he
escapes condemnation only on the plea of
incapacity. "He means we'll, - is his ex-
cuse and eulogy. His violations of law, if
done by his predecessor, would have made
the impeachment possible. From declar-
ing war on San Domingo to sending one
of his military family to insult Congress
as his private secretary, there is scarcely
an act that is not direct violation of some
legal enactment or constitutional provision.
-Cdpital Chronicle.
Year: 1871

| A PLEA FOR THE ONION.-Mr. War.
ner, in his delightful book, my Summer
in Garden" pays this tribune to the
Onion


I know that there is supposed to be a
prejudice against the onion but there is
rather cowardice in regard to it. l
doubt not all men and women love the
onion, but few confess their love. Affec-
tion for it is concealed. Good New Eng.
landers are as shy of owning it as they are
of talking about religion. Some people
have days on which they eat onions-wlIat
they might call retreats" or their
Thursday" The act is in the nature of
a religious ceremony, an Elensianian mys.
tery-not breath of it must get abroad.
On that day they see no company; they
deny the kiss Of greeting to the dearest
friend they retire within themselves.
and hold communion with one Of the most
pungent penetrating manifestations of the
moral world. Happy is said to be the
family who can eat onious together. They
are. for the time being, separate from the
world, and have harmony of aspiration.
There is hint here for the reformers.
Let them become apostles to the onion !;
let them eat, and preach it to their follow
ers, and circulate tracts Of it in the form
of seeds.


Ia the onion is hope Of universal broth
erhood. If all men eat onions at all
times they will comc into universal sym.
pathy. Look at Italy. I hope I am not
mistaken as to the cause Of her unity. 1t
was the Reds that preached the gospel
which made it possible. All the Reds in
Europe-all the sworn devotees of the
mystic Mary Ann ate Of the common veg.
etable. Their oaths were stronger with
it. 1t is the food, also, of the common
people of Italy. All the social atmos-
phere Of that delicious land is laden with
it. Its odor is practical democracy. In
the churches all are alike there is one
faith, one smell. The entrance Of Victor
Emanuel into Rome is only the pompous
proclamation Of unity which garlic had
already accomplished aud yet We who
boast Of our democracy eat onions in So
cret
Year: 1871

TUE CRUST OF THE EARTH.-Dr
BoyntOn says:


If we bury a thermometer fifty feet
below the surface of the earth, the mer.
curry will remain at tho same point the
year around, in winter and in summer,
showing that the influence Of the sun does
not reach below that depth. If we carry
the thermometer fifty feet lower, the mer-
curry will rise one degree, and will rise in
the rame ratio for every fifty we go down.
1t can be easily calculated at what depth
all known substances will melt. This
would not exceed fifty miles. 1t will be
thus seen that the crust-or solid part
of the earth is exceedingly thin, in pro-
portion to the diameter; not so thick as
an eggshell in proportion to the size of
the egg. With crust so thin, constantly
cooling. and producing a pressure upon
the internal masses, it is not strange that
the bed of the ocean should be elevated
in single day, aud whole cities have been
sunk in the same space Of time. The side
of volcanic mountain once broke away.
and the livid masses flowed out, forming a
river twelve miles wide, which, in its
course. melted down six hills 600 feet
high, filing up valleys 600 feet deep and
and spreading over a surface of l,loO
square miles.
Year: 1871

venture to write few words in


favor of the blackbirds, whose habits


1 have been familiar with since child


hood. l think they are among the


least mischievous as well as one of the


most useful species of birds. ANY one


who has noticed their habits will per-
ceive that they never pull corn except
the second planting, or what we term
planting missing hills. They then ap-
pear in fiocks. Their object is to pick
up the grubworms that are destroying
the first planted corn, and any person


who has dissected the crop of one of
them will perceive that it is filled with
these pests, which are so destructive
of the corn and grass crops, and occa-
sionally kernel of corn which he has
drawn from the earth as a dessert to
his well earned meal. Who can be-
grudge the pittance TO him, consider
ing what service he has been to us P
The remedy is easy: scatter few
handfuls of corn soaked soft. and he
will not disturb the crop. We often
employ men to walk through the fields
for several hours each day to kill these
worms. A flock of blackbirds lights
in the field early in the morning, when
they are invariably on or near the sur
face, and destroys more of them than
a laboring man could in half q day.
The farmer says to his man, take along
the fowling piece, and if you see any
of those mischievous blackbirds, be
sure and give them pop. Shame on
his ignorance and folly in destroying
the antidote which kind Providence
has provided against these pests to the
farmer.-Cor. N. Y. World.
Year: 1871




few more bounds and he would be in
their znidst. For moment modesty
oyercame fear, and he once more halt
ed. The snake, evidently pleased
with his rapid transportation, mani
tested his gratitude by attempting to
enfold the legs of our her9>within his
embrace.


With an explosive ouch! and
urged forward by circumstances
over which he had no CONTROL" poor
John bounded on. The next moment
he was in full view OF the girls, and
as he turned the corner OF the barn
the snake came round with a whiz,
something after the fashion of coach
whip.


Having reached the barnyard, to
his dlsmay he found the bars up, but
time was too precious to be wasted
letting down bars. Gathering all his
strength, he bounded into the air
snake dttto-and as ne alighted on the
other side, his snakeship's tail cracked
across the upper bar, swapping like
AN Indian cracker.


Again John set forward, now ut
terIy regardless of the presence of the
girls, for the extra tick of the snake s
tail as he leaped the bars banished all
his bashfulness and modesty, and
again he had the pleasure of finding
the snake in straight line drawing
steadily at the hem of his solitary
garment.


The house now became the center
of attraction, and around it he re-
volved with the speed of thought
Four times in each revolution as he
turned the corner his snakeshlp came
around with whirl which was quite
refreshing.


While describing the third circle, as
he came near the group of wonder
struck girls, without removing his
gaze from the snake, he managed to
cry out:


"CALL A MAN ~


The next moment he whisked out
of sight, and as quick as thought re-
appeared on the other side of the
house


"CALL A MANI
And away he whirled again, turning
the corner so rapidly that the whiz of
the snake sounded half way between
a whistle and the repeated pronun-
citation Of a double-e.


Before either of the girls had STIR
red from their tracks he had perform
ed another revolution


"CALL A MAN ~


Away he flew, but his strength was
rapidly failing. Nancy Clark was
the first to recover her presence OF
mind and seiziBg hoop-pole, she
took her station near the corner of the
house, and as John reeppeared' she
brought it down upon the snake with
a force that broke his back and his
hold upon Johns neither garment at
the same time.


John rushed into the house and to
his room, and at tea time appeared in
his best Sunday suit, and to all ap-
Eearance cured of bashfulness. That
night he walked home with Nancy
Clark, who thought she had never
seen man SO well-built as john
On New Years day they were mar
ried, and now. when John teels in
clined to laugh at his wife's hoop, or
any other popularity, she has oniy"to
say, "Call man." when he instant
ly sobers dawn.
Year: 1871

PARCHMENT PAPER.-Paper can be


readily converted into vegetable
parchment by immersing it for few
moments in q mixture of two volumes
of sulphuric acid and one of water
The acid should be washed off the pa
per by immersing and slightly agita-
ting it in large quantity OF cold wa
ter. The last trace of acid may be
removed by finally immersing the
paper in water to which a small guam
tity of ammonia has been added. To
prevent contraction or wrinkling, the
paper should be stretched on frame
while yet wet. Paper SO prepared is
transparent, and can be used for tra-
cling paper; and may also be en-
ployed as very good substitute for
parchment.
Year: 1871

You wish to dress your wife better
than your circumstances will allow
She wants to have you. She is wo-
man of spirit, as it is said, and she
does not mean to be a drudge. "Wny
her husband, "dress any better than


we? They are made of the same
flesh and blood that we are. See how
of any spirit would let his wife and
children go to church dressed as you
let us go. Look at these children
You would think that they had just
come out of some slop-house! If |
had married as l might have married
we should have had different. times :
[ and my childreni"


How many men are stung to the
quick by such remarks from their
wives! Oftentimes their moral sense
revolts, at first, and they feel indig-
nation; but continual dropping
wears stone, "and by and by the man
is dressed little better than he can
afford, and his wife and children are
dressed better than he can afford and
somebody must pay for the extrava-
gance. | do not say that they are
tempted to steal; but l do say that
they grind. They mean somehow to
get it out OF the milliner, out of the
dress maker, or out of the merchant.
They intend to make one hand wash
the other somehow, and they go into
petty meanness to bring it about
And this desire to dress better than
they can afford is taking off the very
enamel OF their virtue. and taking
out the very stamina of their relig-
ious life. Unimportant as it seems,
ostentatious vanity in dress has ruined
many a family and damned many a
soul Henry Ward Beecher.