Year: 1875

hands.


IEsEcrs are not the only sects that
sting and bite.


THERE is not solitary lawyer in the
Delaware Legislature.


THE most melancholy spectacle in the
world is cold pancake


THE aroma of kerosene upsets the
stomach of the average rat.


EVERYTHING appertaining to the femi-
nine head is Grecian" nowl


WHEN Is a small baby like big bank
err When he Is wroth.child.


THE honeymoon goes out leaving the
average young man on his last quarter.


"AHi glorious weather this" says the
doctor; "splendid run Of broken legs
lately."-C0mmerctal AdUertiser.


Mrs. FrTcH's diamonds are a fortune
in Minnieature. Rochester Democrat. And
that Is pun of the first water.


some of the farmers in the Connecti-
cut Valley are becoming rich by raising
potatoes for the starch factories.


A POPULAR San francisco preacher
argues that il is a religious duty to
make life hard with the Heather Chi
nese.


THREE Pennsylvania doctors have
been frozen to death this winter, and in
yalids in that 5'ate are somewhat more
hopeful.


LYING and stealing seem TO be always
in order on two subjects-the weight of
the baby, and the first umbrella that
comes handy.


THE tenor and soprano in a Boston
choir were married recently. They met
by chants, the usual way, and ultimately
agreed to duet.


Two men lately caught applauding the
verdict of jury in Bedford County, Pa,
were fined by His Honor, Judge Morrow,
five dollars each.


A sCHooLBoY has put on paper the fact
that he would rather be a little girl
and ouey his mother than be a dog and
obey the moon"


THE peach crop having been killed by
the recent severe cold, the manufacturers
of fruit cans are rapidly increasing their
facilities for the coming trade.
AN English physician, during a lecture
to female audience on the u e of alco-
holic beverages, asserted that the babies
| of London are never sober from their
| birth until they are weaned."


FLAxsEED and tallow are used in Ger
many as stuffing for cushions. One
part VI JdllOW W bcu VI udASCtu are
employed, the mobility of the creased
seed rendering the cushion very soft and
pliable.


A MAN driving a coal cart in Bridge
port, Conn, a few days ago, saw boy
coming swiftly toward him on sled and
stopped the horse to avoid an accident.
The boy did not turn aside, but passed
| through between the heels of the horse
and the cart wheels.


WHILE Michael Martean was backing
horse under a coal shed at Fair Haven,
Conn, lately, he was caught in such a
manner between the cart and a wheel
barrow as to force one of the handles of
the latter into his stomach, inflicting a
wound which shortly proved fatal.


A YoUNGsTER, while warming his hands
over the kitchen fire, was demonstrated
with by his father, who said: go way
from the stove the weather is not cold"
The little fellow, looking up at his stern
parent, demurely replied: II amt heat
ing the weather; I'm warming my
| hands"


In washing windows a narrow bladed
wooden knife, sharply pointed, will take
out the dust that hardens in the corners
of the sash. Dry whiting will polish the
glass, which should first be washed
|
alcohol. Save the tea leaves for the
purpose.


A WESTERN paper thus delicatelY mar
rates a touching incident: Med Vose
usrd to travel around Colorado with d
performing bear but great change
came one day last week and now the
bear travels around alone, thinking over
old times and occasionally leaning up
against Il ee as pang shoots through
his bowels Ned is inside that bear"


THREE young men went INTO store at
North Turner, Me-, few evenings since
and drank heartily from pail of water,
| after which they were told that kerosene
oil had been spilled in the pail. All
three commenced vomiting very violent
ly and vomited until they we're very weak
and sick, when it was ascertained it was
another pail and they had been drinking
nothing but pure water.


HERES a new parlor game: Two play
ers are closely blinded with a bandage
made of their pocket-handkerchiets
Each one is provided with saucer full
Of cake or cracker crumbs, which is held
in the left hand, and a spoon, which is
held ia the right hand. A sheet is spread
upon the floor, upon which the players
sit, and at q given signal they begin to
feed each other Their efforts TO find
each others mouths with their spoons
never fail to afford much sport. Another
amusing experiment is to try to blow out
a candle blindfolded. The candle is
placed upon a table, up to which the
player is first led; he then walks back
six steps, turns around three times and
walks forward as nearly in the direction
of the candle as possible and tries to
blow it out. If he happens to wander to
the wrong part of the room the effect Of
the blowing is very funny.


lr was young woman with as many
white tiounces round her as the planet
Saturn has rings that did it. She gave
the music stool whirl or two and
hulfed down on it like twirl of soap
suds in a hand-basin. Then she pushed
up her cuffs, as if she was going to fight
for the champions belt. Then she
worked her wrists an l hands to timber
'em, suppose, and spread out her fin
gers till they looked as though they
would pretty much cover the key board,
from the growing end down to the little
squeaky one. Then these two hands of
hers made "A jump at the keys as if they
were a couple of tigers coming down
upon flock of black and white sheep,
and the piano gave a great howl as if its
tail had been trod on. Dead stOp-so
till you could hear your hair growing.
Then another howl, and if the piano had
two tails, and you had trod on both OF
'em at once, and then a grand clatter and
scramble and string of jumps, up and
down, back and forward, one hand over
the other, like a stampede of rats and
mice more than anything call music
OltUer Wendell Holmes.
After the Verdict.