smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1876

Leavenworth City is pestered with aiI
eccentric E.glishman. His name IS


Henry Arnold Green, bu: he is better


known about town as the ''wild English


man." Exactly where he came from no


body knows; why he struck Leaven-


worth and stuck nobody has inquired; !;
and what his eccentricities are practised
upon the town for nobody can imagine.


A few hangers-on found out that the
wild Englishman received large


amount of money quarterly from some
unknown source, and they Thought he
must Ire rich and worth cultivating for
good-fellowship. the wild English
man does not seem TO be vicious, but ne


has caused some unfortunate accidents
to happen to other people. He is
practical Joker full of English humor,


but some of his jokes have turned out
seriously. He went down to Kansas
City one day on a self-iollifcation, and
in d iocos6 way shot man. He had
to pay the man large sttm to put him
in as good running condition as he was
before the accidental shot, but he got off
with a short imprisonment ard the above
mentioned money consideration. He neASS
came into prominent public notice by
indiScriminate pistol practice in house
of no doubtful character, where some
of his friends lived. Then the Police
Department took hold of him, ard he
paid some heavy fines, like a man, He
displays an insane disposition to do all
sorts of extraordinary and outlandish
things, and is perfectly willing to pay
whatever they cost. Henry. Green's
last exploit was his queerest yet. He
went to an undertaken and told him he
wanted to sober up, after a two-days'
spree. He knew of no Better way than
to teach himself solemn lesson OF
mortality. He hired q hearse, and
coffin that would fit him, and a driver
and a carriage for some picked-up
mourners. He paid for these accom-
modations, put the coffin in the hearse,
piled in the tnOurners and crawled into
the open coffin and gave the driver di-
rections for the line of march. The
procession started one evening just at
the time when people most like to
promenade. The funeral train
was obliged to stop for
large crowd of people who were
going to q festival. They remarked
upon the strange occurrence of funer-
al so late in the evening. The English
man saw a splendid opportunity to
make a sensation, rolled over his coffin
and thrust his boot heel through one of
the oval glass sides of the hearse, at the
same time calling loudly to the driver
to explain why this funeral had been
thus rudely stopped on the highway.
The crash of the glass, the appearance
of corpse breaking out of its coffin,
and the vocal communication of Death
with the driver caused a wild stampede
of the festival patrons, many of whom
ran home spreading alarm as they
went. Then Henry Arnold Green, sit
ting bolt upright in the hearse, enjoy
ed the terror he had created, and order
ed the driver to return to the place
whence he came, and at a arattling pace,
toe. The wild Englishman paid his
bill, regarded the exploit as one of the
best jokes of his life, and was complete
ly sobered up ready to utilize the next
gay and airy whim that might seize
him.-St. Louis Republican.
Year: 1876

/


Some ingenious editor proposes that


every man, woman, and, child in the


United States shall plant ''Centennial


tree, on the Fourth of July next, and il
4 is not impossible that this curious meth


cd of celebrating the. day will be follow
ed, 10 "a very considerable extent. A
more useless proposaIwas never made.
1t is true that we have cut down forests
in many places where their destruction
is a serious evil, but no one dreams of
setting out their Centennial trees in the
AdirondaclNregion, or in other remote
localities where forests that ought never
to have been touched have been ruth:
lessly hewn down, The Centennial
trees viii he planted where people can
sse them-in the backwards of CIV, civ
houses suu IN the. streets of country
villages. Nor is it safe to say that the
volume of trees in each of these latter
localities Is already fully commensurate
with the needs Of the 1iOsduitUes and
caterpillats, and If every resident of this
city or its suburban villages were to set
out new tree; the population would
become palid with "a preposterous ex-
cess of shade, and would be eaten by
mosquitoes and overrun by the "meas-
nring -wormsp that in former days made
certain streets in the upper part of the
town almost impossible during the
summer. OF c0tirse, tree-planting is
tery poetic and beautiful in the alb
stract, but unless the tree-planters will
promise to plant forests under the di-
rection of competent scientific guides,
they had better confine their planting
operations to tomato plants and straw
berry vines,


There is, however, a modification of
this tree-planting proposal, which, were
it to be carried out, would be of i'm
mense service to mankind. Why should
not every American resolve that on the
morning of the Fourth of July, 1876, he
will begin the day by planting a cat in
his back yard? 1t is by no means GER
tain that we need a single additional
tree, but the next wall that sweeps from
the back fence will convince every
thoughtful man that we have at least
sc, 900, 900 cats in excess of our require
ments. What a magnificent spectacle
would America afford the civilized
world if this vast array of cats was to
be solemnly slaughtered as slight ex-
preston of our patriotism and our love
for free institutions! The thing is per-
fectly feasible. The cats are within our
reach, and every citizen can, at small
expense, provide himself with Cen
tennial cat within the course of the next
three weeks. Let us then resolve that
we will not waste our time by setting
out unnecessary trees, but that when the
sun of the next Fourth of July morning
sends his beams into our back yards
they will fall like so many aureoles upon
the brows of the precise number of free
men mentioned in the last census, each
one of whom will be in the act of dig
ginT a centennial grave in which to lay
the centennial cat that thoughtful and
intelligent patriotism has carefully pre-
pared for so noble and impressive a GER
emOny.-Nea0 York Times.
Year: 1876

A melancholy action is being tried IN
Paris. 1t will be remembered that al
ter the recent duel at LOngwy, which
resulted in the death of NJ. Olivier, one
of the combatants, it was stated by the
surgeon in attendance and the Mayor
of LOngwy that a considerable part OF
the body of the deceased was protected
by broad steel girdle. The surgeon
added that the girdle in question was
unlike any thing of the kind with which
he was acquainted, and, further, that
M. Olivier suffered from no intirmlty
which would account for the presence
of such an article. The inference was
the more derogatory to the memory OF
the dead as NJ. Oliver was professional
duelist, the encounter in which he lost
his life being the eighth in which he
had appeared as principal. On the
facts being published, the mother
of the deceased laid the blame
upon NJ. Lafenilhrade, her late sons an
tagonist, and sent letter to several OF
the newspapers upbraiding him with
traducing the memory of the man he
had slain. NJ. Lafenilhrade felt COM
PEELED to respond by publishing letter
which he had received month earlier
from the two seconds of NJ. Olivier, in


which these gentlemen stated that they
were forced to confess, after the expose
referred to, that their principal had
been guilty of treachery and felony.
On the publication of this letter Mad
anne Olivier has based an action for de-
famation of the character of her son.
In the trial the advocate for the defend
ant has expressed the sympathy of his
client, NJ. Lafenilhrade, with the be-
reaved mother, and has forbOrne in
sisting on the results of the inquiry
made by the surgeon and the Mayor,
contenting himself with merely plead
ing that the mother of the deceased has
no legal right to bring such an action:
The point is a curious one in law, and
the tribunal has reserved its decision
for a week.
Year: 1876

A COTEMPORARY, supposed to be
especially smart upon social subjects,
asserts that "One of the most import
ant of the questions which concern the
present generation is this, Are the
young females who have Just blossOmed
into womanhood fitted for wives?"
This is, doubtless, important enough
but another query which seems Just as
pertinent is this, Are the young females
Of the present day fitted for husbands'
Judy.
Year: 1876

COMMENTS ON THE COMPACT or THE TRUNK LINES.


The settlement of the freight war between
the lines the aahsorbng topic Of converse
ton on Wast. yesterday. Diverse opinions were ad
yanced as to the effect the compact the trade
of this and the other terminal cities, and upon
the traffic Of the roads On the Stock Ex-
change it was claimed that tho agreement had
been made. ard would be carried out in good
faith, and stocks went up accordingly. Many OF the
operators however gave utterance to the belief that
there little hope that the agreement would be ad
hered by all the parties in interest for any consider
able length OF time. But this with them OF minor
Importance however. The most they cared to know
the real condition Of affairs at present ard what IT
would probably be for short time Outside Of those
directly Interested IN the Stock Exchange, general
want OF confidence in the praeticaby OF the scheme
adopted was expressed Tho failure OF the trunk lines O
dcyise plan last Spring By which they could distinguish
the shipments made for export from those Intended for
home consumption referred 10 as evidence OF their
inability 10 accomplish more at present. Nothing more
than the prOulgaOn Of the rates published IN yes
terlays TRBUNR done yesterday BY the agents Oi
the several lines.
Year: 1876

After little girl had attended her first Sunday
school session she asked her mother wnat kind bear
was "oonsecrated crosseyed bear" Her mother could
impar no information until she happened 10 lance into
the Song Book when she told her offspring tat the
animal IN question was, "a consecrated cross bear"
Year: 1876

al don't believe in fashionable churches said
lady recently but n.tor ALL considering that are
all 10 go the heaven perhaps It's better 70 keep
w the social distinctions rs long US We can"
Year: 1876

Robinson's Palace Shaving Saloon,
four doors South of the Postoffice, is
the only place in the city where a
man can get shave for fifteen cents.
The saloon is new, neat and fitted up
in good style, and the artists skilled
in their business, and as Robinson is
the first to put down the price, we
hope he will receive the patronage
he deserves.
Year: 1876

Foolish and badly informed
people are often lamentin9 the de-
terioration of female beauty in
these latter days. They are fond OF
referring to the Aspasias aud Cleo
patras ofpast centuries, and assert
ing that these types are practi-
cally extinct. They may be found
in our art galleries, standing with
arms akimbo before a cast of some
classic statue, cycling the noble
proportions with an air of great
apparent..wisdom and apprciative-
ness, and filling the circumjacent
air with mournful complaints OF
the degeneracv of our nineteenth
century bellies.


These critical persons cvince Il
truly wonderful and painful lack
of acquaintance with their delicate
and attractive subject. If they
knew even in a slight and partial
begree what they were talking
about, they would. on the con-
trary, gladly contend that. so far
from deterioraeing the "fenale
form devine" probaly exists much
more frequently in perfection of
beauty nowadays than it did in
the times whose praises they are
in the habit of chanting so loudly.
What is here asserted of the fig
ure may also be applied to the
complexion and features And es-
pecially is this true in regard to
the American women, who are
confessedly the liandsomest women
in the world.


A great ado is chronically made
about the Venus of Milo and the
Madonnas of Raphael, but, doubt
less, there are in New Haven, or
any other large American city, a
dozen women as perfectly beauti-
ful in form. color and feature as
any chiselIed or painted by the
greatest artist.


Admiration'tor beauty is a very
natural and very commendable
trait in mankind, and there is no
occasion to disparagc either the
old or new manifestations of hu-
man beauty in its most attractive
shape; and the indiscriminate and
exclusive laudation of the old at
the expense of the new is practice
which has ben condemned ever
since the Bible was written, and
indulgence IN which savors of ig-
n-orance and bigotry mot to say
pig-headedness.


1t is q matter of devout thank
tulncss that we live in an age and
country when and where our
eyes bear witness daily that the
race is not degenerating in either
branch thereof, in spite of what
gloomy 7viseacres and pessimists
may say. but rather improving
with the development of time and
civilization; and particularly that
we of the sterner sex on this side
OF the Atlantic are permitted to
gather constant inspiration from
marvellous beauty Of our Ameri-
can women, to whom we take
pleasure in proftering this casual
and passing tribute ofou respect
ful admiration.
Year: 1876




Gov, Tilden, as is shown by in-
disputable facts and figures, has
reduced taxation in the State of
of New York just one-half since


he has been the chief magistrate


of that State. If he can mango to
do that with Federal taxation,
when he is elected President, how
things will jump forward. And
Just here we would like some OF
our Republican contemporaries to
give us an idea as to the time and
the occasion when Gov. Hayes
either effected or ATTEMPTED TO
effect a reduction of taxation OF
to accomplish any other reform
Year: 1876

hide, and he went, after taking quarter aud put
into Engis' shipbuildng yard Tho other parts OF
the body found to-day were the only por.
tions not left In the box at home III
the body had been removed there would have been
sickness In our house. Ny wife watched, and worked
at the body II had only killed him it would have
been all right; but IL wrong 70 cut him up That
was my mistake But acted as any wronged HUSBAND
would Ny stepdaughter tell you what disrepu-
table life her mother led. Ny wife not able TO give
me single idea how to get rid OF the body. All she
did was to cry and watch the door The head was sent
away at noon Saturday and the rest taken away
between three and four O'Clock Nobody called at our
house while was working at cutting the body up We
kept all OF the body In the house except the thighs and
head l cut the head of with a sharp table knife,
am not drinking mani never drank any beer or
waiskey without my wife, and loved my home. am
Catholic and regular attendant at Father Haltman s
church. IN Williamsburg, and sometimes l went to
Bushwick Avenue Catholic church expect they'n
hang me.


coSaRAruLAroRY ORDER TO sUPRRISrEsDKSr CAMP





Yesterday afternoon when the night platoon were
drawn up In order to then instructions from
the sergeant charge he read 10 the the following
cOngraulary order which had been forwarded 10 Cap
tain Wogom.


To PArRcK CAMPBRLL ESQ. superinte pdent OF Police


elR--M meeting OF the Board OF Police and Excise,
held this day the following resolution offered By Com
missioner Pyburn and unanimously adopted, via =


Resolved That the thanks Of tho Board be- and they
hereby rendered and through you the Inspector
Of the Fifth. Sixth and Seventh precincts for the inte
gent prompt and yglant action displayed in securing the
arrest OF Andreas Fuchs charged with the murder Of Will
lam W. Simmons ON the 27th inst.


Promptnoss and activity viii always meet the recognition
Of the Commissioners and the favor q The community By
Both officers and men feel gratined at this prompt
recognition Of their energetic efforts 70 unrave the
mystery.
Year: 1876

A THOUGHTFUL observer says thsth
We wero all to join hands, organlze a
vigilance committee. and hunt all the
great men out Of this country. there
might he a good many people scared.
but there'd only lie about one IN ten
millions Of us that would have to leave.
Year: 1876

some of the old gang for you to give
money to The fresh heather would
all give out. Aud you, poor wretch,
with perpetual dry on, thirsting for
thirteen drops of tangle- lime, think of
the drinks ahead if you invest here.
Why, you could lean on marble coun-
ters, tread on soft carpets and snooze
on rep-cushions all day, drink until
you stopped over, and they'd be care
full of you. Think of this now when
they throw you out into the slush, and
buy ticket.


"P. S.-The contents of the box will
be 40 thoroughly mixed that there can
be no mistake about the blanks all
coming out.p


Then here is one of a Centennial
| Theatrer The management says:
1--WE duly announced the opening
| of our moral show. The gymnast was
built expressly for this theatre, and
will perform in no other. He has
fear. The ballet will weigh two tons.
1t will dawn on the audience like q
spice and perfume laden galleon from
East Rochester. One of the girls has
already made her mark by doing
tneul DIT Ofle UUlldI uoItu, llucH ILL
ish. She is savory brunette with an
alcove in her eye. The girl who does
Ajax is not stuffed. Opera glasses to
hire by gold-leaf ushers. Owing to
the failure of the locksmith to get the
kink out of the other leg of the kanga-
roo. it will be omitted. Several times
now the verdict of the Judge, Lock
Smith up has interfered with our
plans. Our mummy was once
promising youth of Toledo, but the
grasshoppers ate his pals property land
the son is now with US. He answers
all questions astutely. Each night
will close with blaze of red glory.


"P. S. No gold change will be
given.o


Another event here is the Goodies of
Liberty. In moment of Supreme
bliss the morally bald-headed man,
whose business is the decorative, ad-
vertised for goddess at eight dollars
q day. The tostoffice Department
has had some ten laborers at work for
a week trying to get the old man out
of the letters SO that they can hand
him his resignation. The first few
days he read the letters and looked at
the photographs until his specs got
foggy, and he had 10 go out to the ash
barrel and say over some of his old
hymns to get clear minded. He is so
lost that the Commissioners have no
hopes of him and have employed Per-
kins, the other one, to examine al ap-
plicants for goddesses.


KARL-ILE.
Year: 1876

To THE EDITOR OF THE HERALp:-


You will have a chance of doing good aud perhaps Of
saving human life by calling the attention ofths
boat inspectors TO the violation OF the law in regard
carrying greater number Of passengers than the boats
licensed for. refer especially to the Rock
away boats on Sundays. came from Rockaway Last
Sunday IN the Americus The boat full that it
nearly impossible to about and the list OF the
boat at times great that wheel would be oG
water. or within q few inches OF being The bouts
swung IRON the davits full OF people, and II any
accident had occurred which would require their use
Il would be impossible to move the people from the
boats because there room anywhere else iof
them The calm, fortunately, but had
there been wind the sea been rough. 1t was
the Fourth OF July the would have come aboard
without any doubt


Surely there some relic. from the danger TO which
you might be exposed and which, II 1t continues IN
the way will end fearful accident and loss Of
life which be prevented An inspection Of
the boats any warm Sunday will prove what your
writer has stated as the truth G. A. II.


NEW YORK, July II, 1915
Year: 1876

seek to commend themselves to the favor OF
those whose social displays they describe.
What more natural than for Mr.. Wegg or
Miss Boflin TO imagine that Mrs. - will be
delighted if her simple evening reception is
chroniced as ga gorgeous array OF the cream
"of Washington society Z" And how easy to
represent an ordinary silk dress as can impe-
"rial gros grain, the latest chef dGurre OF
"Worth ~ As for the oysters ana ices, VINO
that has never given an entertainment of the
sort can measure the cost =? And expense be-
ing considered popular, and economy vulgar,
it is of course better to err on the rght slde.
Social events which involve IN outlay OF from
$50 to $50 are continually recorded in the
gossiping papers OF this city; yet the country
reader seeing an imposing list OF names, and
some mention of amateur music ana dec0ra-
tions, infers an inaccessible wealth and state.
When the Prime Minister of England gives an
evening reception to hundreds Oh thc
highest gentlemen and ladies OF the
realm, he perhaps spends about Sloo Tor
tea. ices, and illumination. The expense OF
social entertainment depends mainly on the
manly common sense OF the host and the do
mestic talent Of the hostess. 1t is often cheap
to the sensible millionaire, and immensely dear
to his shOddy imtator.


In some respects, Washington is an expen-
sve capital: yet its best society is composed
chiefly of families whose refinement and in
telligcnce lift them far above the encourage
ment. no less than the practice, of mere show
and profusion. There is a large circle OF fam
lies there where the visitor finds the easy
grace and courtesy, the simplicity and good
sense, and the absence of Ostentatious dis
play, which characterize gO0d-breedmg all
over the world. This circle is not amenablc
TO any charges which the recent coirnDtions
have provoked. 1t is proud enough to disre-
gard them, and strong enough TO enforce its
own social laws. But it will probably be car
featured, for some time to come, by those VINO
so openly exhibit their inclisibilty to enter IT,
Year: 1876

The 800 Icelanders who are about to make
Manitoba their home will find the soil there
more productive than that of their own barren
island, which yields a scanty subsistence to
less than $4,000 people. In the hot weather,
however, they may long for their " old conn
"try," where ice water is never needed and
sunstroke is unknown.
Year: 1876

A determined stand has been taken in the
House by the opponents of the bill 10 make
the silver dollar a legal tendar, and there
seems to be a prospect that action may be
prevented at this session by the exercise OF
the usual parliamentary oxpedients. Such Il
belief would do much to allay the
fears of capitalists, VINO see in this
movement a future attempt to pay the
United States bonds, which contain no stipu-
lation as TO the kind of coin in which they
shall be paid, in a deprecated metal, ana thus
accomplish practical repudiation. There will
be many, however, to agree with the view OF Il
wCll-known banker, expressed i'll another col
unn, that no party controlling the Govern
ment would venture upon such step.
Year: 1876

1t is noticeable az the canvass develops how large
a number Of prominent gentlemen are reported ~
different parts of the country as coming out Tor
one candidate or the other. Upon the whole, this
coming out is rather promising symptom. 1t
looks 3s if the days of party arrogance and presump-
ton wore at an end. Managers of the machine are
only in.Olcut when they can count on n solid and
subseryicnt party vote; and when they assume an
audacious front it argues "a lack of manness ana
courage in those who ought to be ready for revolt
against their control Few people outside oil a
Cu5tom-hOu5e are stolld that they have not
learned something of the scifreant temper of these
times and probably one besides Mr.. Cornell
would characterize ~ "impudent" the independent
action of the Union League Club. The old-fashiOned
brazen ciirontcrics of party management are GER
taiuly iil-thucd in an era when no one can predict
how his ncighbor viii vote until he chooses 10
come out"
Year: 1876

Business men fnd encouragement in the
prospect of good Fail trade. The dry goods
and commission houses report early sales ana
hopeful outlook. Low freights it is thought


will bring greater custom. Another OF the
large auction sales of dry goods was held yes