smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1876

AN invention has been successfully ap-
piled in Liverpool to the printing ma
chine, by means of which newspapers
may be printed upon an unbroken roll
of paper without the necessity of prcvi-
ously stereotyping the pages and mould
ing them to the shape Of the cylinders to
which they are affixed The details Of
the process have not been communicated
further than that the type itself is fixed
on the cylinder referred to, but, with
the exception that it has been yet found
impracticable to apply the automatic
folding process to the machine, the plan
is fully successful. The advantage of
the invention is that while giving the
highest rate of speed, it will save the cost
of stereotyping, which, except in case of
very large impressions, is otherwise I'M
necessary.
Year: 1876

A MEXICAN who claimed to be a
snake charmcr recently attempted the
capture of large rattlcsnake near Cor
pus Christi, Texas. As the snake lay
coilcd up, the Mexican made grab at
his neck, and caught the reptile too far
back, the snake turning his head and


fastening his fang in che second joint of
the forc-hnger, from which he dangled
until shaken loose by the performer.
Simple remedies were used at once, but
the finger continued to inhame and the
flesh to drop off, until amputation be-
came necessary to save the Mexican's
life. The snake-charmcr has retired from
the charming business to the more gene
raj Mexican avocation of monte.dealer.
Year: 1876

The two Presbyterian assemblies, one
sitting in Brooklyn the other in Savan-
nah, took during the closing days of
their sessions long step in the direction
Of fraternity. On Friday, May 26th, a
resolution was adopted in the northern
assembly in these words: "With view
to the expression of the united and hear
ty wishes of this body that at the earliest
practicable moment we may see the es-
tabllshmcnt OF correspondence with the
other assembly, we hereby resolve that
this assembly reiterates its cordial desire
to establish fraternal relations with the
southern assembly on terms Of perfect
equality and reciprocity as soon as it is
agreeable to their brethren to respond to
this assurance by similar expression" "
10 this a reply was sent on the next uay
from the southern body, declaring that
while condcmning certain acts and de-
llytrancrs of the northern assembly, nc
acts of deliverances of the southern as
'cmbIy are to he construed or admitted
as impngning in any way the christian
ch racter or standing of the northern
general assembly or of the historical
bodies of which it il the successor.
his assurance was received by the
assembly in Brooklyn with great satisiac
ton, and resolution in the precise
terms Of that from Savannah, with the
necessary change of the word "northern
to southern" was adopted, and ordered
u be Immediately telegraphed. The
adoption of the resolution was followed
by the singing of the doxoogy. The
country will approve of the sensible basi'
oil fraternity adopted by these two
churches. Neither body is asked to sur
render cherished convictions, but will
tie expression by the representatives o
both OF confidence in each other, the pas
Is left to settle itself, and the new Lii


'gins.
Year: 1876

we 90 not read anonymous letters and commune
cauons. The name and address of the writer are In
all cases indispensable, not necessarily for publication
but as guaranty Of good faith.


We cannot undertake to return or reserve commu-
ncations that are not used,
Year: 1876

EVERY regular attache Of the PRESS is furnished
with Card certificate countersigned by Stanley It,
Pullen, Editor. All railway, steamboat and hotel
managers will confer a favor upon us by demanding
credentials Of every person claiming to represent our
fourpoI
Year: 1876

AT last the trade of the country is on the
mending hand. Prominent business men in
New York and elsewhere agree that a gen.
uine renewal of business has set in. While
other revivals since 1873 have been spas
modic the brisk trade this season has contin-
ued without abatement
Year: 1876

There is q young gentleman in this
town who is looked upon as q sort ol


womsn- bater, and who. it was believed
until recently. would not marry the
handsomest and best woman on earth il
every hair in her head was K"h-i-
moor diamond. On account Of leap
year some young ladies concluded to
put up job on this young man and
arranged it for one Of their number to
propose marriage to him. while the
Others watched the fun through holes
bored in partition.


The gentleman was invited to call at
the house Of the yonng lady who was
to do the proposing. and on the desig-
mated evening he was there, seated in
the parlor,, while the accessories to the
plot we're stationed at their eye holes.
After some desultory conversation about
the weather and the club party the
young lady suddenly dropped on her
knees before the gentleman and in en-
dearing terms declared her passion


"Da:l,ng." she said. Il long have
loved thee, but the cruel conventionalities
Of society have forced me to conceal my
passion Leap year. which gives to
oppressed woman one blessed privilege.
is now here. and I take advantage Of it
to tell thee adore thee. Look not thus
coldly on NE. dearest; spurn me not
from your presence. See me on my
beuded knees imploring that you will
not say me nay. Grant me but one kiss
from those ruby lips; fold me to thine
arms and say that thou wilt be mine;
mine. only mine forever and for aye"


Contrary to expectation the gentle-
man displayed not the least asfonish-
ment during the foregoing recital. and
when it was concluded be went over to
the stove. and. folding his hands under
his cost-taiIs. thus replied:


I'm told your dad owns hundred
shares Of North Carson. and that you
have got two brindle bull dogs in your
own light and without incumbrsnce; like
wise l am Informed that you are good
hand making slapjacks and biscuit; that
you don't chaw gum. which. BY the
way. is powerful expensive these hard
times. In view Of these facts I con-
sent. and leave it to you to name the
day"


Horri6ed. the lady tried to explain
that it was all joke. but the gentleman
would not accept any such explanation,
and threatens breach Of promise suit
unless she ful6ls her promise, in which
event be will summons the peppers as
s.-4ustin (Neu.) Reveiae,
Year: 1876

Will you say that there are no real
stars because you sometimes see me.eors
fall. which for time appeared to be
stars? Will you say that blossoms
never produce fruit. because many Of
them fall off. and some fruit which ap-
pears sound is rotten at the core
Equally absurd is it to say there is no
such thing as real religion. because
many who profess il fall away. or prove
to be hypocrites in hesrt.-Payson.
Year: 1876

THE question is often asked, what Is
the best way to keep apples for common
family use? Central shelves in an apart
ment set off or devoted to this purpose
have been found most convenient. The
apples are spread on these shelves only a
few inches deep, 80 that they may be
readily examined or picked over as fast
as decay commences On any specimens.
Year: 1876

Mrs LOUISA M. ALCoTT may be
credited with inventing new substitute
for speech. She visited the Sorosis the
other day and was formally presented to
the club by the president as the "most
successful woman author in America"
and being on her feet, told little story.
She said at Vassar college the girls, as
usual, asked for speech, and when she
also, as usual, told them she never had
and never intended to make one, they
requested that she would place herself in
a prominent position and turn around
slowly. This she consented to do, and i
revolving would satisfy or crafty Sorosis
she was willing to "revolve."
Year: 1876

A NEGRO boy in Fairfield county, S. G.,
was packed up in a bale of cotton last
week The deceased was engaged in
packing cotton at Mr.. James Jones press.
About half bale had been tramped
down, and the other hands went for more
cotton, the deceased being ordered in the
meanwhile to drive out some cattle. On
the return of the hands the boy was not
to be seen. The balance of the cotton
was put in and trampled but slightly,
the bale being light. The bale was then
packed. On removing it the negro was
found dead in the middle of the bale. II
is supposed the boy entered the box and
had gone to sleep and was sufocated.
Year: 1876

The girls got up a hen picnic last
week, and had glorious time of it alto
gether. They had lots of tea and sugar
and milk (Which all got souri, but no
matches, and plenty Of pickles, sponge
cake and butter, but no bread And to
this that each of the girls got her moth
er to let her bring roast turkey, so as
to astonish the rest of the girls and
show that she could do things in style,
and they had no knives and forks, aud
though lots Of plates, no drinking uten-
sils, it is not difficult to see that their
commissariat was well organized aud a
source Of much harmony, pleasure and
satisfaction to all concerned in its prep
aration. After several life long quarrels
and such comments as 81 don't care y
"You're just as mean as Dirt" "Well, it
wasn't my fault, anyway" they made
frugal repast of dismembered turkey,
cold water, pickles, and sponge-cake,
then decided to amuse themselves as
best they could for the remainder of the
day. One girl undertook to fish, and
having put on. her gloves, introduced a
hook to her worm, but the fierce animal
gave a squirm, and with terrific yell
she dropped the wild beast right down
the back of friend and young COM
panion dear, who was sitting beneath.
The f. and y. C. d. went into active hys-
terics, and the author of the tragedy
impaled her thumb on the fish hook and
tainted at the sight of blood. After
this, one of the girls stepped into a
swamp about half way up to her ears,
and another got beetle into her ear,
aud a third unearthed a horrid snake
seven inches long, and while devoted
member of the excursion was stopping
down to collect specimen Of that rare
and valuable plant, the sorrel, Mr.. Ke-
hoo's merino ram stole upon her and
butted her over seveu.railed fence, IT.
retrievably running 81 thing to mako
her dress puff out behind. Then they
went home to find out what was good
for sunburns.
Year: 1876

There is class of people in the world
who make it the chief business of their
lives to depreciate existence and its
blessings, who speak of this world
as a vale of tears an ''abode or sin
aud sorrow" ~ daily cross, "a realm of
blasted hopes, aud so on through the
entire category OF such expressions.


Life they tell Us, is not worth living
for they wish they had never been
bora, or had died in infancy, aud we
cannot help indulge in the thought that
if they had, nobody would have been
the loser by it.


Everything looks to them sad and
lusubrious Their spectacles are smoked
glass and their Iundiced eyes seeeycry-
thing bright through this dusky medi.
um.


Every misfortune which comes, every
streak of i'll luck which belalls them, is
direct judg ament from the Almighty,
as though they believed that the God
of Love and Power spent the whole
time in studying out refinement aud





dren whom He protessed to love.


If man eats too much dinner, drinks
too much, and smokes too many cigars,
dies of appoplcxy at forty, when he
ought by the laws of nature 10 have
| lived to eighty, God is arraigued, aud
the mans friends and the clergyman
who breaches his funeral sermon, call
his death mysterious dispensation ot
Providence.


If 4 mother dresses her little child SO
AS to show It's bare neck and arms and
its plump legs-beautitul We admit
but none the less sensitive To cold on
that account, il she fills the chlIds
stomach with bon bons, and lis head
with knowledge only intended tor nper
years, and the child dies, rs OF course
it will, then everybody sympathlzes
with her, and urges her To bc resigned
TO the will of Providence. And the
afflicted mother weeps and wonders
what she has ever done TO deserve such
an affecting stroke.


Men who are brought up 20 know
right from wrong, cheat and lie, aud
swindle, and speculate, and build up
fortunes, and invest them in fancy
stocks which rise into existence like
soap bubbles, and by-and.by the bnb-
bic bursts, the fine things arc swept
away, aud these men have the assur-
ance 10 say that God has dealt harshly
with them aud that the punishment IL
harder than they can bear


"Thc Coils help those who help them


selves"


As true line as was ever penncd,
and in nine cases out of ten our world
is just what we make it. Ii we resolve
TO see only the dark side, we shall of
course see no sunshine. 1t We choose TO
live in cclar,the sun will not be like
ly to come down out Of the heavens
and seek us out in our obscurity.


If we meet trouble half way it will
accept tacit invitation and be ever pre-
sent with US.


"a merry heart doeth good, and the
greatest things which can be showered
upon family arc good nature and
cheerfulncsS s
Year: 1876

Oh no, we ne'er forget them


Though the bending willow waves
Its shadowy, dropping branches
O'er their lone and peaceful graves.
Though the fondly loved the cherished,
Have long since from us fled,
They are still our dearest treasures;
We ne'er forget our dead.
At the dawn of early morning,


At the evenings hour of prayer,
When our path is bright and sunny,
Or dark with clouds Of care;
When we bow our heads in sorrow,
Or when joys are round us spread
Whate'er our lot in life may be,


We ne'er forget our dead.
Those who have passed blooming youth
The bright, the fair, the gay:
Those who have meekly born the heat
And burden of the day
They now are calmly resting


In their quiet, solemn bed;
Yet in memory still they live


We ne'er forget our dead.
Year: 1876

IT is BErrER.-It is better to wear a
calico dress without trimmings, if it be
paid for, than to owe the shopkeeper
for the most elegant silk, cut and trm-
med in the most bewitching manner


Better to live in log cabin all your
own, than in brown stone mansion
belonging to somebody else.


Better walk forever than run in debt
for horse and carriage. ..-.


Better to use the old cane-seated
chairs and faded two-ply carpet than
tremble at the bills sent home from the
upholsterer's for the most elegant par
lor set ever made.


Better to meet your business acquain-
tances with free, "don't owe you-a-
cent" smile than to dodge around the
corner from dun.


Better pay the organ grinder two
cents for music, if you must have it,
than owe for piano.


Better gaze upou bare walls than
upon pictures unpaid for.


Better to eat thin soup from earthen
dishes,if You owe your butcher nothing,
thaG 10 dine off lamb and beef and know
it does not belong to you.


Better have fit of Mysteries than run
in debt for furniture, cloth, or anything
else that you may wish for.
Year: 1876

A CHEAP CARPET.-An Eastern
lady says: Have any Of you spare bed,
chamber seldom used which you would
like to carpet at little expense! 10 TO
the paper-hangers store aud select a
paper looking as much like carpet as
YOU can find. Having taken il home,
first paper the floor of your bedroom
with brown paper or newspaper. Then
over this put down your wall paper.
A good way to do this will be to put a
good coat of paste upon the width OF
paper and the length of the room, and
then lay down unrolling and smoothing
at the same time. When the floor is
all covered, then size the varnish; only
dark glue and common furniture var.
nish may be used; and the floor vii!
look all the better for the darkening
these will give it. When it is dry, put
down few rugs by the bedside and
before the toilet table, and you will
have as pretty carpet as You could
wish-a carpet, too. that will last for
years if not subject to constant wear,
and at q trihing expense. l, myself,
used a room one entire summer prepared
in this way-used it constantly; and
when the house was sold in the Fall,
the purchaser asked me to take up the
oilcloth, as he wished to make some
alterations which would be sure to injure
Year: 1876

SITTING BULL AS AN ODD FELLOW
The grand lodge of Odd Fellows have
under consideration the admission OF the
Indians into the fellowship of their or
der. The noble red man has thus an-
other step to take on his sad mission to
the setting sun. He has been defraud-
ed of his lands, cheated out of his turs,
swindled by Indian rings, fed on rotten
beef, wrapped in rotten blankets, befud-
died with frontier whiskey, massacred
10y the pale faces, bored by long treaty
pow-wows, and preached to death by
wild missionaries, and in many other
ways his passage facilitated to the hap
py hunting grounds; and now the pale
faces are going to initiate him into the
order of Odd Fellows.


The Indians are trained from boyhood
to endure torture with fortitude, and we
have no doubt they will go through the
initiation creditably. Crazy Horse, who
can break mustang, will probably be
able to ride the goat and climb the grea-
sy pole feet foremost; and when it comes
to the branding part of the ceremony ne
will be perfectly at home. Sitting Bull
would, perhaps, be unable to live up to
the sedentary part of his name for few
DAYS, and Rain .in-the-Face would sizzle
a little If the rest of his person is as
moist as his visage; but we doubt not
that they would pass the fire ordeal sto-
ically.


After he has safely passed through
his regular initiation, Lo, the poor In
dian, in his regalia! We imagine that
wild Cheyenne or Arapaho in full odd
fellow rig will be a sight for gods aod
men. 1t may be that he will wear moth
inc but the regalia except few feathers
in his scalp lock and a thin coat ofpalnt
on the bridge of his nose. Aprocsssion
of such would be very imposing. But
we have decided fear that the noble
savage will not be prompt in the pay
ment of his dues. The proud son of
the forest hates dues. And when Grand
High Treasurer Joshua Vansant sends
around his little notices to Red Cloud,
Shaoknasty Jim and Young Man Afraid
Of His Horses to call around and settle,
they may refuse to see it in that light.
Then Grand High Treasurer the Hon
orable Joshua Vansant would be obliged
to put on his war paint and 60 out there
hold powwow and exhort them to re-
new allegiance to the order, and per-
haps he would be very lucky should he
escape being put through several new
degrees not known to the Odd Fellow
ship of the pale faces. He might 60
out there an Odd Fellow in high stand
ing and sadly return as an Improved
Order of Red Man.-BaA. Gazette.
Year: 1876

The Zigzag arrangement, has recently
been adopted, will be put on only where
specially ordered, for which five dollars
will be charged in addition to the regu-
lar price.


The change can be made from zigzag
to straight line and vice versa, in mo-
ment, without even hoisting the shovels,
without removing bolt. 1t is simple in
its construction, and will not easily get
out of repair.


The entire machine is so well balanced
that the horses necks do not become gall
ed. This is accomplished oy the manner
in which the hopper is set upon the frame.
Year: 1876

are so generally known by our farmers
as to the yield and saving of grain-that it
is hardly necessary to mention this point.


BY a recent invention, an Attachment
can be made at cost of about five dollars,
which will enable the driver to hoist the
shovels without stopping or getting off,
thus doing away with the extra hand usu-
alIU r,SnJ in nrsllinp
Year: 1876

in the market, and we invite farmers in
want Of Drill to call and satisfy them
selves on this point.


CORRUGATED RUBBER ROLLERS
which form forced feed, unequaled by
any in use, and which has now stood the
test of years.


The cOrrugation of fthese rollers has been
an Improvement over the first built, and
by means of slide and regulators the
flow of seed is constant ard regular.


There can be no choking, for the reason
that it is positive force feed, and all the
"white caps" straws, or any foreign sub
stance that should chance to be in the
wheat, is fed through without stoppagc.


In this way the ''skips," which are so
frequent in fields Of drilled wheat, are en-
tircly avoided, and there will be found
regularity in the grain over the field and
that, too, without the necessity of being
constantly watched to see ifthe feeding is
all right.


THE GUANO ATTACHMENT,
patented by j. B. Crowell, which is con-
ceded by practical farmers to be the best
yet introduced TO their notice.


The great difficulty encountered in SOW
ing some kinds Of guano is, that the agita-
ton of the mass in the hOppers renders it
sticky, and it will not, in consequence,
feed downward.


By the use of Crewell's Guano Attach
ment this is overcome, and as experience
has proven,


ALL KINDS OF FERTILIZERS
in use can be sown, without even mixing
with any substance to render it less sticky.
Its simplicity is one of its great point.


THE GRASS SEED SOWER
is attached to the rear of the hopper, and
has zinc bottom, which is perforated for
the grass seed to pass through. A light
wooden slide, with indentations cut
transversely, agitates the seed which
should be clean to sow with regularity.


The grass seeder can also be attached,
forward of the hopper, or if it is specially
ordered can be left off entirely, in which
latter case there is adeducJion of five dol
lars from the price list.


THE SURVEYOR
measures correctly the number of acre
sown, or parts AN acre down to sixteen
this. In making the turns at the end OF
the field, the holster puts the working
parts out of gear, and in consequence the
surveyor does not move in the least, and
can, therefore be relied upon to measure
correctly.


ZIGZAG ARRANGEMENT.
Year: 1876

An Auction Sale OF the household effects
Of Can't. scammon, of the Revenue Ma
rine, took place in this town on Tuesday
last The goods sold remarkably well,
many of the articles bringing first cost.
Year: 1876

DURING the prevalence of the westerly
gale on Wednesday last the Italian bark
lena was obliged to run into Neah Bay
and heave both anchors the pilot boat
Lottie had her jib split and made this port
in the afternoon.
Year: 1876

Is ir any wonder that all the boys in
the interior our tempted 10 study law
when they read such paragraphs as this
one from the Fairmont der?


"As an evidence Of the amount of. busi-
ness contributed by Warrington to our
courts, we mention that there were fifty
five tickets to Fairmont sold for one
train on the day that the grand jury OF
the January term Of our County Court
met, MS we were informed by the agent
there. The number for the whole day
was estimated by some OF the citizens at
one hundred. This was more than from
all the rest OF the county"
Year: 1876

They tell this story of Ralph Waldo
Emerson: His best thoughts were apt
to strike him after he had gone to bed.
Once calmly resigned to rest, ready for
dreams, sparkling notions began to fit
through his brain He knew if he did
not catch them then, they would vanish
never to return; so up he gets, strikes
a light, and makes his nocturnal notes.


One night the philosopher had risen
from, his bed, and was cropping around
in the dark for a card of misplaced
matches His hand at length came in
contact with his wife's clabOrately cary
ed tortoise-shell comb, which he mis-
took for a card of lucifers. One after
another ne snapped away the teeth, try
ing to light them on the wall, until not
one was left. His loud and emphatic
mutterings of disappointment aroused
Mrs. Emerson. .-..-


- What on earth, husband, are you
doing there in the dark?'


"Only thought that | had in my
mind, my love y


But the thought bad fled, and still in
the dark he went back TO bed.


In the morning Mrs. E. found that
her husbands fugitive thought had been
an expensive one for her-having cost
her her best comb, but she could not
find it in her heart to scOld.