Year: 1876

Emerson, in bis quaint and original
| essay on ssSocial Aims" says "good


manners are made up of petty saeri
| fees" So true and suggestive say
| ing deserves to be written on the walls
of our homes, or the hearts OF our
| people. It is q common idea with
many that good manners are some
| thing like fine clothes that they be
long only to the exterior, and can be


put on or off at pleasure I; that they
are made up of conventionalit;ss and


rules of etiquette, and are entirely in
dependent of disposition or character.
II is true that there is species ol
| manners, or rather mannerism


which belongs to fashionable life,
and msny come under this hesd, but


il bears about the same 'resem bia1ce


to good manners in the true sense oi
the word, that painted image bears
to the flesh and blood reality of life.
I Manners are the visible develop


ment of the inner man in the smaller
affairs of life, and not something apart
from hi mself to be assumed at one
time and east aside ct another. Like
the towering of the plant or the fOlt-


age of the tree, they tell Us in unmis-
| taxable language OF the nature and
quality of the root from which they


spring. The stronger and more Wig.
orous the nature. the more fully VIII


it assert itself in the behavior. He
Who-is self-poised, seif-contrOlled and


self-resp pecting, will usually be nata-


raj in his manners. 1t does not oc-


cur to him to act for effect, or to


modify his demeanor to meet the


standards OF others be is as simple,


honestly and earnestly himself in eX-


preston as he is in thought or deed.


1t is the weak, the uncertain, aud


those who hang their all upon the


opinion OF others and calculate the


probable effect Of the impressions they


are making, whose behavior is arti-


fetal and whose manners are put on.


Good manners, then, are but the


natural language of good nature ana


kindly feeling-the Towering out OF


the benevolent affections which have


their roots deep in the human heart


Love, sympathy and tenderness are
intrinsically graceful, gentle and


courteous, and did they always reign


within us we should have no need to
study rules of politeness. 1t is the
selfishness which, in some form or
other, cIings so closely to most OF US,
that makes US rude, uncourteous and
iIl-mannered. The more deeply it Is
engraved on the heart, the more pal
pably will it be written in the de-
meanor. He who refuses to make
sacrifice an element in his life, whose
thoughts a5d plans are mainly CEN
tered upon his own interest and
pleasure, can never practice those
thousand little pleasant amenities of
life which are the natural outoreath-
ing of the benevolent soul. He may
initiate some of them, but it will be
spurious coin, and give out no true
ring. The little sacrifices continually
made from kind feeling and goodwill
have quite a different flavor from
those dictated by policy or fashion.
The former are natural, easy, genial
and spontaneous they claim no merit
and expect no reward. The latter are
forced, mechanical and artificial, aim
ing not to crafty Others, but to be
recognized and applauded themselves.


The best method, then, of cultivat-
ing good manners is to cherish kindly
symp pathies. The foundations once
laid, the structure will soon arise.
The root planted and nurtured, the
flowers will blossom of themselves.
How to lay this foundation and to
plant this root is problem which
deserves careful study. Selfi5hness \
cannot be eradicated by 9 mere effJrt
of the will, nor benevolent impulses be
implanted by a single determination.
Slowly and gradually must the work
Perhaps the best practical
meaps to employ is the constant
practice of self-denial in little things.
This Is harder to one unaccustOmed to
it than might be supposed, but the
habit once acquired cannot fail to in-
spire and cherish the spirit Of kindli-
ness and good will 70 give up a
seat, or an hours pleas
ure to answer q bitter remark with q
pleasant and CHEEKY word to extend
q hearty welcome or an encouraging
sympathy to those who need them /;
to pay respect to the aged, to help the
feeble, to take cordial interest in
others, even when burdened with our
0wn cares, are all little things, and
each may at times require more effort
than the result seems 10 warrant Dut
they constitute much OF the happi-
ness OF life, and if persevered in, they
will conquer selfish indulgence, and
gradually the effort will merge into
an impulse, which it will be eur de-
light to follow.


Children especially, should be train
ed to make small sacrifices for the
comfort OF others, continually and
cheerfully. This may be done by
careful and judicIous parents, without
any harsh or compulsory measures,
IL they themselves set tie
example. A habit thus acquired in
early life is invaluable, and the good
manners which flow naturally and
gracefully from such source, are so
attractive and winning, that none
can resist their genial influence.