smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1875

It is most refreshing to see the remark
able unanimity with which the Metropeli-
tan Detective Press condemns all frauds
upon the revenue which occur outside of
Wall street influences. Its scent is of the
keenest for anything true or false which
can be imagined elsewhere: but when frauds
are run into the New York custom house,
e.S traced to the importing merchants, there
is no abuse too gross for this Detective Press
to heap upon the devoted heads of the Of
fcers who may have reported the facts to
the Treasury, and no praise too fulsome for
it to lavish upon wealthy smugglers who
occupy front seats in the temple Of the New
York Chamber of Commerce. An Irish
chief of st. Tammany, or Revenue thief
of St Louis, or Chicago or Cincinnati, is
Just the game which the New York De-
tective press delights in hunting. 1t has an
ever-ready cry of 'fStop thief for any and
everything outside of the city of New York.
That great den of neral and political turpi-
tude is the ''holy ofholies" in the eyes ofthe
Detective Press. Let the great railway and
banking companies, whose financial head
quarters are in Wall street, rob and plunder
and steal as much as they please by keep
ing back the revenues due the Treasury;
let the merchants and manufacturers enter
and run through the custom-house foreign
goods at undervaluation or disguised as
free goods, and it is all right with this De-
tective Press. 1t leaps to their defense
with all the alacrity and avidity that char
acterizes Toombs shysters when they
would demonstrate the innocence and re-
spectability of the most daring burglar who
is able 10 reward them with liberal cash
retainer lacked by the promises of cash
contingent fee.


It is within the recollection of our readers
that this Detective Press put forth its her
culean efforts to paralyze the hands Of JUS
tice two years ago when the Treasury
made the attempt to expose and punish the
gigantic frauds of some New York import
ers aha compel restitution of their i'll gotten
gains No evidence, however positive,
could convince it that New York import
ing merchant could do anything dishonor-
able, or,that soulless railway or banking
or insurance corporation could possibly
have kept back.iany portion of the dues law.
fully belonging to the peoples Treasury.
Anything which had money and stocks in
Wall street or goods in the public ware
houses under the control:of the custom
house was morally certain of the defense
of al the pens of the immaculate Detective
Press Of that metropolitan city. Millions
upon millions might be stolen with i'm
punity If they were only divided with
the endless corps of writers who entertain
the public with daily homilies upon the
frauds of Tammany, the terrific corruptions
Of the Tweed combination, or the Kelly
ope-man press -defying power. Column
after column could be hurled against this
Year: 1875

naval craft at that port are under orders to
be in readiness to sail at a moments warn
ing. This looks as if the Government in
tended to be in readiness for any emergency
which may arise in the West Indies or the
Gulf There is no harm in being ready.
Spanish promises are more likely to be re-
spected by Vslmaseda If there are iron
clads within call.
Year: 1875

The New York World is too funny. It has
been doing some of the cutest things Of late
ever found in the annals of journalism. After
turning several handsprings over the election
results it becomes composed, and, settling back
in its editorial chair, quietly proceeds to charge
Louis Jennings with the novel crime of hav-
ing boiled and eaten his aged mother. Isn't
this something to reflect upon, reader-some-
thing grave, awful, calsmitousl Think of it.
Eating mother, boiled mother; and, worse
than that, an aged, boiled mother. There are
few, a very few, we have q mind to say, not
over ten or fifteen thousand, who will be credu-
lous enough to believe this startling and really
unfortunate revelation. Although capable of
many and marvellous and peculiar things we
are not in such q state of mind as to believe
that Louis Jennings would, even under the
most trying circumstances, actually boil and
consume his aged mother, and at the same
time continue producing those absolutely funny
editorials on Glove at Home" and "Filial
Affection" He may have, as he says the World
charges, murdered in cold blood his boy, that
pretty, curly-headed boy, and unkindly buried
him in the dark and mouldy recesses Of the
cellar. He may, in moment Of absentminded-
ness, or one following term of fasting, have
seized q young and tender servant and forcibly
crammed her into boiling caldron and stirred
her with poker, and then satiated the pangs
of hunger upon the tidbits which it seems to
be within the province of a young and tender
servant to supply. He may, not being
naturaleyezed, have mistaken some near
and dear relative for a pigs til
and roasted her to state Of
tempting browness, and then deVoured the
roast without noticing anything peculiar or
anything different between the flavor of Mary
and a pigs tail. He may have done even
more humorous things than these, still we
cannot believe under any circumstances what
eyerthat Louis Jennings. being in his right mind
and with the grave responsibilities of metro


polftan daily bearing burdensomely upon his
shoulders, or anywhere else If you please,
could have sat resignedly down at his own
breakfast table, and, with that rare relish
which an Englishman always takes his morn
ing repast, eaten the whole Of his aged mother
boiled. Not fried, be pleased to take notice,
nor baked, nor raw, nor stewed, nor steamed,
nor fricaseed; but ate her whole in all the SIM
plicity Of plain unornamented boil In this
connection be kind enough to remember that
he ate her whole. The World said so, but
Year: 1875

The Chicago Times thus charaeterizes the
average Democrat: CHE is politically the stu
pldest thing on the planet, and must conform
to the requirements Of his stupidity. Incapa-
bic of bringing himself forward to the living
present, he will continue to vote for the dead
and buried Democratic party, and to expect
the mountain to open and release from his
sepulchre of ages the rock-rooted Democratic
Barbarossa." We are astonished to learn that
the Times man knows himself so completely.


Yesterdays ForReys Chronicle says that the
"Editorisl Afterthought man" of this paper
"is engaged IN writing humorous American
drama for Mr.. John E. Owens, the comedian.
One Of the acts-the first one-will be laid out
on the frontier, among big Indians and hunters.
The second and third acts are to be located in
Washington, and will show up some of the
eccentricities of beats, 'claim agents and lob
byists hereabouts." We beg leave to differ
with the Chronicle man. He is mistaken in
regard to the plot of the drama. Fortunately
we have not been compelled to resort to the
wild frontier in order to secure our characters
for this play. Notrue American will go abroad
in search of wonders before he has, in meas
ure, exhausted the catalogue at home. We
shall go to New Ysrk for our principal charac-
tiers, the main one of which will be Louis Jen-
nings. The World recently made the start
ling revelation that he has boiled and eaten his
aged mother, and any man who can success
fully boil and devour his poor old mother when
the choicest of viands only cost twenty-five
cents pound, is most desirable subject for
the hero of humorous play. 1t will be
some time before the drama will be completed,
owing to the fact that the Board of Missions,
which recently announced its intention of send
ing missionaries to the offices of the Great
Dailies Of New York, has been tardy in the exc
cution of its benevolent designs. Just as soon
as Mr.. Jennings has been able to put himself
on the outside of four or five of these fat and
tender missionaries we will have material for
the grand closing scene of the drama in which
we expect to present the great " unnatural
lied in the act of swallowing live mission
ary with spurs on and bundle of tracts under
each arm. The spurs will be arranged so as
to be easily detached in case Mr.. Jennings
proves unequal to the emergency. We have
every confidence in his capacity, however; and
this is simply done to allay any unnecessary
alarm on the part of sympathizing audience.
We cannot see at present why play of this
character should not succeed. We may be
able to see it, however, by the time 1t has been
presented once or twice to the public for its
approval or dis
Year: 1875

The st. Louis Republican ofJune I'd
tells the following story: "The most
original and self-reliant justice of the
peace lives at Bay View, Wis, aud
his names McIver. A few days ago
the justice met upon the street man
named David Hickey, and upon some
them. Upon whom the responsibility
most rested does not yet appear, but
it seems that from the dispute more
serious difficulty originated, and that
Hickey having before his eyes no fear
of the law as embodied in the person
of the justice, threatened to thrash
that dignified official then and there.
Hickey went even so far as to inaug-
urate the exercise before the fright
ened justice could escape, and would
doubtless have made the thrashing a
complete one had McIver remained
In that locality. The justice did not
remain, but got out of the way where
he could devise some scheme of retail
iation without personal risk. He felt
that the dignity of the law as illus
trated in himselfshould be sustained
by reprisals, and he acted accordingly
He preferred charge of assault against
Hickey, and had constable bring in
his enemy. The Justice then opened
Court, swore himself as witness and
proceeded to give his testimony to
himself. The evidence was very dam
aging,and was weighed by the Court
reflectively. 1t is scarcely necessary
to say that it was considered sufficient
to condemn the prisoner who was
promptly convicted, and sentenced o
the House of Correction. Hickey re-
mained in prison for some time before
his release came on writ Of habeas
corpus, other Courts having decided
McIvers extra-judicial proceedings,
as somewhat irregular. The case is
one of the most remarkable Individual,
though an unappreciative higher
Court has decided him to be present
in rather tight place, metaphorically
speaking. should Hickey feel inclined
to prosecute.
Year: 1875

CORRECT SPEAKING All young peo.
pie should acquire the habit of correct
speaking and writing, and abandon as
early as possible any use of slang words
or phrases. The longer you live, the
more difficult the requirement of correct
language will be and if the golden age
Of youth, the proper season for the ac-
QUESTION of language, be passed in abuse
the unfortunate victim, if neglected, is
very properly doomed to talk slang for
life. Money is unnecessary to procure
this education. Every man has it in
his power. He has merely to use the
language which he reads, instead of the
slang which he hears to form his taste
from the best speakers and poets in the
country to treasure up choice phrases
in his memory and habituate himself to
their use, avoiding at the same time
that pedantic precision and bombast
which shows the weakness of vain am
bition, rather than the polish of an edu-
Gated man.
Year: 1875

Decay of the teeth is really caused by
being dissolved by abids generated in
the mouth by the decomposition of small
particles of food. 1t is clear, therefore,
that the only method of preventing this
is to apply the brush Immediately after
every meal. Soap is the best substance
to use on the brush, though it is advisa-
BILE occasionally TO use a rather rough
powder of some kind to keep the teeth
in brilliant polish.
Year: 1875

THE CHARM OF CLEANLIN Ess. "A
white-yellow cravat or shirt on a man
speaks at once the character of his wife
and be you assured that she will not
take with your dress pains which she has
never taken with her own. Then the
manner of putting on the dress is no bad
foundation for judging-if it be careless.
ly, slovenly-if it do not properly fit. Nc
matter for its mean quality; mean as it
may be, it may be neatly and trinity put
on; and if it be not, take care of your.
self, for, as you will soon find to your
cost, sloven in one thing is sloven in
all things The country people Judge
from the state of the covering of the
ankles; and if it be not clean and tight
they conclude that all out of sight is MOI
as it ought to be- Look at the shoes il
| they be trodden on one side, loose on the
foot, or run down at the heel, it is very
bad sign; and, as to slip-shod, though at
coming down in the morning, and even
before daylight, make up your mind to a
rope, rather than live with slip-shod
wife. Oh, how much do women lose by
inattention to these matters Men, in
general, say nothing about it to their
wives, but they think about it; they en-
Wy their luckier neighbors and, in nu,
merous cases, consequences the most Sc.
rious arise from this apparently trifing
cause. Beauty is valuable-it is one Of
the ties, and a strong tie, too; that, how.
ever, cannot last to an old age but the
charm of cleanliness never ends but with
life itself
Year: 1875

A CURE FOR DYsPEPsIA.-A writer
in Medical Journal, discoursing on
dyspepsia, says. We have seen dys-
peptics who suffered untold torments
with almost every kind of food, and tor
ments of which they did tell after some
medicines given for relief. No liquid
could be taken Notwithstanding. Bread
became burning acid. Meat and milk
were solid and liquid fires. We have
seen these same sufferers trying to avoid
food and drink, and even going to the
emma syringe for sustenance. And we
have seen their torments pass away and
their hunger relieved by living upon the
white of eggs, which had been boiled in
bubbling water for thirty minutes At
heend of a week. we have given the
hard yolk of the egg with the white, and


upon this diet alone, without fluid of any
kind, we have seen them begin to gain
flesh and strength and refreshing sleep.
After weeks of this treatment they have
been able, with care, to begin upon other
food. And all this" the writer adds,
" without taking medicine" He says
that hard boiled eggs are not half so bad
as half boiled ones, and ten times as easy
to digest as raw eggs, even in egg-nog.
Year: 1875

You may get through the world, but twill be very


slow,
If you listen to all that is said as you 80;
You'll be worried, and fretted and keptin a stew
For meddlesome tongues will have something TO


do,


For people will talk,
If quiet and modest, you II have il presumed
That your humble position is only assumed
Your wolf in Sleeps clothing, or else you're


fool;
But don't get excted-keep perfectly cool


For people will talk.
And then, if you show the least boldness of heart
0T slight INCLINATION to take your own part
They ill call you an upstart coneeited and vain
But keep straight ahead-dont stop to explain


For people will talk.
II threadbare your dress, or old-fashioned your
Some one will surely take notice of that.
And hint rather strong that you can't pay your


way
But don't get excited whatever they say,


For people will talk
If you dress in the fashion, don think to escape
For they eriticise then in different shape;
\ our ahead OF your means, or your tailor unpaid
But mind your own business, there's naught to bC


made


For people will talk.
Now, the best way to do is to do as you please
For your mind, if you have one. will then be a.


ease:
OF course you will meet with all sort of abuse;
But don't think 10 stop them-it amt any use


For people will talk.
Year: 1875

How TO BREAK OFF BAD HABIT
Understand the reasons why the habit is
injurious. Study the subject until there
is no lingering doubt in your mind.
Avoid the places, the persons, and the
thoughts that lead to the temptation.
Frequent the places, associate with the
persons, indulge in the thoughts that
lead away from temptation. Keep busy
idleness is the strength of bad habit.
Do not give up the struggle when you
have broken your resolution once, twice
"a thousand times. That only shows
how much need there is for you to strive.
When you have broken your resolution
Just think the matter over, and endeaver
to understand why it is you failed, so
that you may be on your guard against
a recurrence of the same circumstances,
Do not think it is an easy thing yon
have undertaken. 1t is folly to expect
to break off bad habit in day, which
may have been gathering long years.
Year: 1875

Cultivate singing in the family. Be
gin when the child is mott three years old.
The songs and hyms your childhood sang,
bring them all back to your memory
and teach them to your little ones; mix
them all together, to meet the similar
moods, as in after life they come over us
so mysteriously sometimes. Many a time
and oft, in the very whirl of business. in
the sunshine and gayety of Fifth Ave-
nue. and amid the splendor of the drive
in Central Park, some little thing wakes
up the memories of early youth-the old
mill; the cool spring; the shady tree by
the little school-house and the next in
slant we almost see again the ruddy
cheeks, the smiling faces, and the merry
eyes OF school-mates, some gray-headed
now, must lie moulderingin the grave"
And anon, " the song my mother sang"
springs unbidden to the lips and soothes
and sweetens all these memories.


AT other times, amid the crushing
mishaps of business, merry ditty of
the olden time pops up its little head,
breaks in upon the ugly train of thought,
throws the mind into another channel
light breaks from behind the cloud in
the sky, and new courage is given to
us. The honest man goes singing to his
work; and when the days labor is done,
his tools laid aside, and he is on his way
home, where wife and child, and tidy
table, and cherry freside await him, and
he cannot help but whistle or sing. The
burglar never sings. Moody silence,
not merry song, weighs down the dishon-
est tradesman, the perfdious clerk, the
unfaithful servant, the perjured partner.
Year: 1875

The turtle is the main source of food
supply to the Conibo. The forests and
waters furnish him fish, flesh, and fowl
in great variety, but he cares for little
else besides the turtle when he can pro-
cure it. Between Aug. 10, and Sept. i,
the waters of the Ucayali, the affiuent
of the Amazon on which the Conibos
live, becomes less impetuous, in conse-
quence of snow having ceased to fall on
the SUBMITS of the Andes. Vast spaces
of sand are left bare, and the turtle fish
ing at once commences. On fixed day,
the Conibos embark in canoes furnished
with all necessary utensils, and travel
up and down the river for from thirty to
sixty or even one hundred miles. When
they discover on the shore the clawmark-
ed furrow made by the turtle when
walking, they call halt, and having
built at some two hundred yards from
the water, their ajoupds, or cabins, they
patiently wait in ambush the arrival of
their amphibious prey,


Generally their instinct is so unerring,
that their encamping hardly proceeds by
more than one or two the appearance of
the turtles. On dark night, between
midnight and two o'clock, an immense
swell agitates the river. Its waters fair
ly seem to boil. Thousands of turtles
come clumsily tumbling out of the river
and spread themselves over the shore.
The Conibos, squatting or kneeling under
their leafy sheds, and keeping profound
silence, await the moment for action.
The turtles, who separate themselves
into detaehments on leaving the water,
dig rapidly with their fore feet trench,
often two hundred yards long, and al
ways four feet broad by two deep. They
apply themselves to their work with
such zeal that the sand flies about them
and envelopes them as in fog. As
soon as they are satisfied that their trench
is large enough, they deposit in it their
soft-shelled eggs to the number of from
forty to seventy, and with their hind
feet quickly fill up the trench. In this
contest of padding feet more than one
turtle, tumbled over by his companions,
rolls into the trench and is buried alive.
Half an hour is enough for the accom-
plishment of this task. The turtles then
make disorderly rush for the river.
Now the moment has arrived for which
the Conibos have anxiously waited. At
a given signal, the whole band suddenly
rise from their lurking places and dash
off in pursuit of the amphibia, not to
cut off their retreat, for they themselves
would be trampled under foot by the
resistless squadrons-b to rush upon
their fanks, seize them by their tails,
and throw them over on their backs.
Before the turtles have disappeared a
thousand prisoners often remain in the
hands of the assailants -Scribner.
Year: 1875

LEMON SYRUP Press the juice into a
bowl never into tin strain out all the
seeds, as they give bad taste. Remove
all the pulp from the peels, and boil it
in water-a pint for dozen pulps-to
extract the acid. A few minutes boil
ing is enough; then strain the water,
with the juice ofthe lemons; put pound
of white sugar to pint of hejuice boil
ten minutes, bottle it, and your syrup is
ready. Put tablespoonful or two of
this syrup in glass of water, and you
have cooling, healthful, anti-bilious
drink Cape Ann Advertiser.
Year: 1875

If glass stopper won't move, hold
the neck of the bottle to a flame, or
warm it by taking two turns of string
and see-saw it /; the heat engendered ex-
pands the neck of the bottle before a
corresponding expansion reaches the
stopper.
Year: 1875

Many and many a time in life do
we see a good and honest conscience
supplying a man, young or old, with
that common sense, with that discern
ment, with that calm and impartial
judgment, which is often not to be got
even from the greatest abilities, or learn
ing, or genius. "The fear of the Lord "
much more the love of Gods the
beginning of many other good things,
but it certainly 4" is the beginning of wis
dom. Dean Stanley.
Year: 1875

In private letter to gentleman in
New York, the contents Of which are
furnished to the Cincinnati Gazette by a
correspondent, the secret Of the success
attending the German arms in recent
struggles is partially unfolded by a
description Of the drill under which the
soldiers have to pass. The writer
witnessed some portions of it while
strolhng near the barracks outside of
Madgeburg. For raw recruits a lot of
gun boxes we're piled up to height of
four or five feet, and over these the men
were required to make haudsprings,
each one on fAil1re being required to try
it again until successful Another
squad was practicing leap over four
foot high pile, touching only with the
right hand. Others we're springing with
the help Of the left hand only, and others
still without touching either hand. At
one side OF the drill ground were hori.
zontsl bars, and other appliances Of the
gymnasium, at all of which squads we're
at exercise, every squad being under
the supervision Of an officer. In
another place was a wall breast high,
over which soldiers in full marching or.
der, with muskets and knapsacks, were
leaping, with only the assistance of their
left hands. With bay fixed they
marched to the front OF the wall, and
halted at the word of command. Then,
at another order, each rested his left
hand ON the wall, and at another he
leaped over without his feet touching or
hitting the butt of his musket against
the stone. Several times they did thus,
and then from distance of twelve or
fifteen yards, went over it at run in
the same way, by the use Of only the
left hand Such exercise as all this
glves a man, must necessarily make him,
III measure, insenslble to the ordinary
fatigue Of an active campaign, and has
also the double effect OF keeping the
men under strict discipline while i'm.
proving their physique.