Year: 1873




The man across the way who enjoyed
vegetables fresh from his own garden
through the summer, has bought n COW.
His wife told him how nice il would be
to have u COW on the premises, 30 to
have fresh milk md pure every day,
aud always in time, and always in abun-
dance. Then they could make butter
themselves, and not eat the rank stun
ont of the store. She told him there
was enough stuff from the garden and
table to almost keep the COW, and the
product would be Just so much clear
gain. He figured it up himself with n
pencil, and the result surprised him.
lie wondered why he had not kept a
COW before, and inwardly condemned
himself for the loss he had been intiict-
ing upon himself. Then he bought a
COW. In the evening Of its arrival he
went out to milk it. But the animal
was excited by the strange surround.
ings, and stepped on our friend, and
kicked over his pail, and nearly knock
ed one of his eyes out with her tai!. lie
worked at the experiment for an hour,
but without any success. Then ms
wife came out to give advice, and his
son came out to see the fun. The COW
put one of her heels through the wo-
mans dress, and knocked the boy down
in the mud, which ended their interest
in the matter. One of the neighbors
MIXED the animal that night, and came
around the next morning and showed
the man how to do it. The third day
the COW escaped the surveillance OF the
boy who was left to watch her, and
when the man came home at night, she
was nowhere to be found. The boy
had also disappeared, and our neigh
Dor found he was obliged to hunt her
up before supper. He walked around
for awhile, and then returned home,
but the animal had not been seen.
Then he went off again and made very
thorough search, and about ten o'clock
that night he came back with the COW,
his clothes begrimed with perspiration
and dust, and his face flushed and
scratched. He wanted to kick the AMI
mails ribs in, but realizing that such n
course would result in pecuniary dam
age, he changed his mind. The boy
wishes he had obeyed the first impulse


On the fourth day they churned, so
to have fresh butter for the table. The
mother took hold of the dasher first,
because she said she used to do it when
girl, and liked no better sport. She
pounded away until she caught crick
in the back that doubled her up like a
knife, and then she put the heir to 1T.
He had been standing around eagerly
waiting for chance, and grumbling
because he didn't get it and when the
dasher was placed in b S hand he was
so happy he could hardly contain him.
self. lie pumped away for an hour Mt
it; then he said ii he had to do it anJ
more he would run away and be rob.
Der. At noon the man came home and
learned the situation. He was a little
disgusted at the "tom-foolery," as he
called it, and took hold the cnurn him
self and made it bounce for awhile.
Then his stomach commenced tofall in,
and his spine to uni joint, and his sh ould-
ers to loosen. He stopped and wiped
off the perspiration, and looked around
with melancholy cast to his features,
and went ut it again. The butter
didn't come, however, but everything
in the way of oratorical effect did. he
got so dreadfully excited that his wife,
smelling strong of camphor, took the
dasher away from him, and went to
work herself. At this the son put his
cap under his jacket, and miraculously
disappeared. Later in the day the milk
was poured around the grape vine. On
the fifth day the COW knocked down a
length of fence to the next lot, and ate
all the oranges from tree that stood IN
tub, and when the people attempted
to drive her out, she carried away new
ivy on her horns, knocked down valu-
able vase of flowers, and capped the
climax by stumbling over box OF
MOSES, and falling on a pile OF hot
house frames. On the sixth day our
neirhbor sold his COW to a butcher, and
now eats strong butter which comes
from the store.