Year: 1872

IS bashful, reserved, or not gifted in con-
versation. She may be one of those who
shine brightest when trouble or affliction
has fallen upon her friends-kind, ener-
getic and efficient-winning all hearts in
those dark hours; but when her active
services are no longer needed, she falls
back into her usual quiet manner, and
socially is not found so companionable
But why not accept friends as you find
them, enjoying all the good you can gath
er from them, but leaving the defects to
pass unmentioned?i If not spoken of to
others, no harm follows; for many would
never see them if their attention is not
called in that direction by a more observ-
ing, but less generous, friend.


Another complains that some friends
call just to retail scandal, or find some
fault with every one they speak of; that
they express great affection for herself,
personally; but she has no doubt they
will say just such spiteful, ugly things of
her to the next one they meet. Very
likely. But while they were thus
entertaining you with discourse
which now strikes you as disagree
able and unsafe, did you not willingly
listen, apparently well pleased, and if we
are not greatly mistaken, take active part
in this reprehensible mode of discussing
tAO VI OlhOlo. oAo y yOu hOb,
even now, doing the same thing toward
those who have just left you? Why
shouldn't you expect that your faults will
be served up for the entertainment of the
next person they call upon? For, " with
what measure you mete, it shall be meas
ured to you again."


One persons manner is very awkward
that is, it is not formed in the same school
as your own. Another has no taste;
which, being interpreted, often means
simply that her taste is altogether differ
ent from yours. One dresses too much
another not enough. One wastes her
husbands property by her extravaganza
another carries her economy to the verge
of meanness. One disgusts and worries
you with long stories of trouble with her
"help," or sickens you with the praise of
her wonderful baby. The first is topic
which all would do well to keep at home
the second a weakness, we acknowledge,
yet very amiable one. But stop and
think before you complain of these
things. Have you never drawn largely
on your friends patience in this very
same way? Through every phase of life
we find that it makes wonderful differ
ence whether it is "your bull that has
gored my OK, or my bull that has gored
yours" In the first case it is unpardOna-
BILE in the last, it is a very trivial thing
not worth noticing


But fault-finding, sharp criticism, and
upcharitable judgment, are not weak
nesses that belong to women exclusively.
We see quite as much of it among men in
all positions. Something is wrong-some
little "mote" in their neighbor's eyes; but
never "a beam" in their own. One farmer
is quick to notice that his nelghbor's fur
rows are not plowed straight; but forgets
to look at the untidy piles of rubbish that
have been accumulating around his own
walls and fences, left uncared fer many
a day-much more annoying to the eye
lat least to woman's eye) than even a
crooked furrow. The mechanic sees
flaws in his brother mechanics work; but
never any in aught that he has done. The
tradesman is quick to detect poor article
or bad investment in another's purchases;
he cannot believe his customers can find
such cause of complaint in his own.
Editors, lawyers, physicians-we stand in
awe of the clergy, and keep silent; but
everywhere else man looketh not on his
own faults and shortcomings, but on
those of his neighbors. And not only
among friends and neighbors is this un-
fortunate propensity found; but when
strangers, whether men or women, are
thrown together, in travelling or in COM
pany, we find the same hungry watchful-
ness-not for something pleasant or profit
able to be gained through those we meet,
but for mistakes, faults, or imperfections.


Now, mothers, here is an evil for you
to look after; for none so well as you can
destroy it. You have the cultivation of
young minds, and can guard against such
weeds entering your precious gardens.
But you must bear in mind that all your
wedding will be useless, if, by your own
example, you scatter fresh seed daily.
Nothing takes root so quickly, or so soon
springs upward into maturity, bearing
evil fruit, as this one bad habit; and if
your children hear you constantly re-
hearsing the faults of others, and sus-
pecting many more, keeping strict ac-
count of every mistake or omission, how
long will it be before you hear those COM
mitted to your care copying your exam
ple-imitating your tones and manners
when speaking of their playmates? Ex-
ample speaks louder than precept, and is
usually the governing power.


do not look for wrong and evil;


You will find them if you do;


As you measure to your neighbor,


He will measure back to you.


Look for goodness, look for gladness,


You will meet them all the while;


If you bring a smiling visage


To the glass, you meet smilem


Christian Union.