Year: 1873

we cllP tne IolloWlhS from tne
Portland Argus:


A young Maine man, in the "com-
mercial travelling" business for a
Chicago house, was travelling out in
the far West, when he was taken
possession of on the train by two
men, who simply informed him that
they were officers and wanted him.


He expostulated, explained, de-
manded explanations, &c, but all
in vain. No one on the train knew
him, and there were those that knew
the officers. All that he could get
out of them was that he was the
man that they wanted. In this way
he was taken some ninety miles into.
the interior. Upon arrival he had
no longer to remain in ignorance of
his supposed offence, the whole viii
lage being out to welcome him with
such cries as "Hang the id horse
thief, caught at last. Let's string
him up"


The officers made some show of
resistance, but the excited mob took
possession of their victim and
marched him into town, near the
centre Of which moose was already
strung over the limb ola tree. Our
young friend thought it was all up
with him sure. Expostulation was
received with derision. Everybody
recognized him as notorious horse
thief, whose depredations had been
continued and extensive. A horse
thief in that section was looked up
on as something worse than an
average murderer. There was not
plying eye i'll the crowd, and the
universal howl was, "Lynch him."
He tried to pray, but the CONNER
cial travelling business had ruined
him for praying! While waiting
under the moose happy thought
struck him! His Masonry! He is
a Royal Arch Mason!


In all that crowd there must be
Masons. He gave the grand hail
ing signal of distress. We are not
at liberty to explain how it was
done, for several reasons the chief
of which is, we don't know. But he
gave it, and in an instant one of the
foremost citizens of the town sprang
to his side and gave some more Ma
sonic signals, and the prisoner was
quickly surrounded by twenty or
thirty determined men, who held
the crowd at bay with drawn pis-
tolls. Our friend explained to the
leading man who he was. They Or
ganized a committee of investiga-
ton, telegraphed to Cairo and veri-
fed all his statements; and the bru-
tai mob skunk away heartily ashamed
Our friend was made as comforta-
BILE as possible by his Masonic
friends, but he says he never exper-
fenced such intense anxiety as he
did when he stood under the moose.
How q Woman Saws Wood.
Danbury News.


Did you ever see woman under
take to saw wood? 1t is always a
little while before dinner, when the
pies won't bake, and the potatoes
absolutely refuse to come to the boil
ing point, and the only stick of
wood is exactly three inches too
long. After vain attempts to prove
the elasticity of matter by putting
a two-fcot three-inch stick into a
two-foot stove, she goes out to the
saw-horse, puts her knee on the re-
fractory stick in a way she has
seen men do. But the edges of the
wood are sharp, and she takes it
down again with an ejaculation, and
with growing disregard for ap-
pearances, puts her foot on 1t in
stead. Her hair never fails to come
down at this juncture, and she has
to stop and twist it into tight knot
behind, before beginning to saw.
Here the saw commences a frantic
jumping and skipping on its own
account, and the whole feminine
mind being concentrated in keeping
up the foot that is up, and down the
foot that should be down, until, in
an unlucky moment, the center of
gravity is lost, the stick flies up and
launches a blow at her nose just as
somebody is going by. She stops
and pretends to be looking for
something, while dark thoughts of
divorce and separation flash through
her mind, and she VOWS in her in
nocent soul that she will never at
tempt to saw wood again if there is
never any dinner. But her pride
and her dinner are at stake, and all
her native obstinacy comes to the
surface; she will conquer that stick
or die. Fired by a new fury, she
succeeds In saving two-thirds of
the way through and breaking off
the rest of tit is a rotten rail
she goes into the house to find the
potatoes boiled dry, and the pie in
a state of sodden uncertainty. The
children come home from school,
and the husband from his shop, and
find kind of hushed solemnity in
the air, and no pie for dinner. This
meridian meal is eaten in silence
and bitterness of heart, and then
the wife Of his bosom inquiries if
she is expected to take care of the
stable and feed the pigs, as well as
saw wood. The man says: "Hang
it all, l forgot" and the woman
drops her sarcasm and breaks down
in the declaration that she newer
will do it again, mever, but she
will; she will do it tomorrow, and
the next day, and the day after, for
one of the things that women never
will learn is that she cannot saw
wood.


An exasperated Bostonian is rnsh-
ing around with an unshaven face
and demanding to know if these
women will never learn anything.
The slight cause for all his mental
disturbance is found in the fact that
one of his daughters had used one
of his razors to cut maple sugar
with, and another had used its mate