Year: 1871


AsToR HOUSE.
To the editor Of the Ne,o York World.


Sir: Notwithstanding I issue all my
proclamations from these Headquarters,
it is not generally believed, I fear, thai
there is any such organization in exis'
tence as the Heavy Artillery.


But there is, and am a Heavy. AL
though of late have had serious doubts
if we ever derive any such advantages
from our organization as We were led to
expect.


I, too, have said quite recently, as
saw one after another ofmy day-dreams
of the office in the Customhouse pass
away into the consoling cocktail 1T is
not 80 respectable or so pleasant to be a
soldier of the Heavy Artillery as we
were led to believe when they invited rs to
60 to Virginia, and take our chances Of
being planted


Although apprehend ifI had succeed
ed in getting planted there, they would
have given me respectable niche in his
tory, and should have had the pleas
ure of shooting quails over my own grave,
as propose shortly to do over the mus
tering-out places of some Of my former
associates.


However, a few Of us whose patriotism
is no longer a matter of doubt have con-
cluded to vote for somebody at the next
election, but we are mixed as to what
particular ticket to vote.


If we could vote as easily.as We regis
tered there would be no difficulty attend
ing the exercise of our highest rights as
freemen.


We 90 into column, four Of Us, and
went for the register people.


First, there was the Colonel-the Siber.
ian traveller-who stands sixteen and q
half hands high In his snow-shoes, and
whose capacity has never yet been at
tanned by any living man.


We thought we should first confront the
register people with the Colonel, to pro-
duce strong dramatic effect at the send
off.


Then came the Jim Bludsoe man. He
held the 'nozzle,' which the Colonel pro-
posed to use on the hand Of any register
party that might be included to thwart
our right as freemen, as aforesaid.


Then came the Fat Contributor He
don't vote in this settlement, but he said
he wished to register, in order that his
name might get into the newspapers.


The Fat Contributor don't stop at
hotels, either to eat, but he likes to arrive
and drink.


Then came the leading man of the Hea-
Wy Artillery.


My innate modesty will not allow me
to insert my name in this connection; al
though it was thought proper for the mil
itary to bring up the rear on account OF
the safe Of that position.


Stop here,' cried the Bludsoe man, as
we filed to the right, and unto cellar,
where the register people were recording
the names of the freemen on the tops of
trunks and canvas carpet-bags, with
which the cellar was filled.


Ease away your jib there cried the
fat party.


Probably referring to paper-collar, on
which register person was trying to
write the name of freeman who had pre-
ceeded US.


I'VE wish to register, said the Bludsoe
man, Just write my name on the lining
of your hat, and you will have it handy
by you when we cometo vote; and look
cheerful


And said: No. Bludsoe. Have you
any i'll will against this faithful guardian
of the public peace?"


you might as well get some one to put
head into him at once, as to compel him
to 20 into society with that name about
him.


See here, you newspaper 'dufers,' ]
know you.'


Said the boy in blue. what ticket do
you intend to vote?'


'Prithhee, my gentle clubbits,' said the
Siberian traveller: docs that materially
affect the writing of our names on one oi
these trunks?'


1T do,' said the clubbist.


See here, Siftey,' said Bludsoe, we
goes for the Boss, we do


Yes said the adipose party 'these
freemen all 60 more or less for the Boss.


oh, yes, Kelso,' put in, we are al
Boss men. and we have the vouchers to