Year: 1873

Dee mere, Mlfk AntnOny-l1 L was
you wouldn't take on so about the
fashuns. They don't bother me. It's
none of your business what the women
put on or off, SO they behave themselves
and look rs purity as they can. They
are q heap better than you or me.
whether they behave OF not. I would
not give one woman for several men,
no time-would you? Now, sec him
smile and pat his off foot. If women
want to wear busscls, let 'em wear 'em
thought that pannears was the best
because they stuck out sideways and
wasn't in the way of leaning back when
they sot down, but they know which is
the best side to stick out on, and it IS
no bodys business but theirs. They
may wear anything they want to, bus
sells, and hoops and hangovers, and
convexes and collapses and whimadidles
and stickouts, comedowns and anything
else, so there is woman hid away
somewhere within it all. It's all sham,
that rubber bussel; there amt no sub
stance nor back bone in it. I've seen
'em atand seen 'em blowed up. There
amt no harm in them, but I never see
one on woman that 1 don't want to
hit it just hard enough to make it pop.
1 golly! wouldn't she jump high and
holler? But I'm not going to do it,;
I've too much respect for woman.


Their bussels don't hurt nobody, and
do despise to see man always pick
ing at woman's close. If they didn't
Wear something to disguise 'em the men
would quit business when they come
about. Purity women always did wear
something to skeer men away. It's
been SO forever. During the war I
seed one who just dressed as natural as
life without any padding or stuffing,
and when she cum along the boys just
laid down and rolled over and hollered.
They wern't fit for business for week.
But I couldn't bear to see 'em go with
their faces all tied up as they do in
Turkey. That would mighty nigh kill
men. If I can look into their blessed
countenances 1 can put up with their
fore riggen and hind riggen and top
riggen and all. And a good, sweet,
purity face speaks for all the balance of
the craft. I wouldn't marry nary girl
on earth till 1 see her face, and not
then if she didnt suit me. If the eyes,
nose and mouth were right, nature is
an endorser for all the balance. Paint
amt nothing-shape is everything.


They can't painta shape nor q glance
of the eye. You may paint house
ever so white, but that don't signify
what's inside of it. But when you see
bright roses and posies and blossoms in
the front yard and over the door, and
clean, clear winder glass shining, you
may bet your life on the balance. You
needn't worry about the bussel or the
back. Women have been doing that
way ever since old Solomon wrote about
'em. If they do learn little as they
go, it's all right.


They can straighten up when it is
necessary. No spinal disease about
that. Them's the very sort what can
lift two bushels of meal without crack
ing bone. It's only passing fashun
and will last till something else comes
along. Nature makes 'em that way,
and you can't change it. The more
you abuse their bussels, the more they'll
stick 'em at you, say. They are the
same about fashuns, an the last one
would put 'em on if they had their own
way and plenty of money. I wish
was just rich enuf to give every lady in
the land string of diamonds and
hat full of pearls. Good gracious how
quick that Methodist dissiplin would be
busted on the jewelry business. Well
I do like to see 'em look purity, and so
far as I'm concerned, if ribbons and
flowers and founces and furs will help
do it, its all right. Some Of the birds
are dressed up mighty fine, and reckon
their pride amt much of sin after all.
But understand Mark, I don't banker
after bussels, though they do say it
makes the incest little shelf for the arm
to rest on in the world, when feller
is dancing around with his gal. That's
all right, provided the feller amt
dancing with my gal. If he is, why he
may take her and keep her that's all.


PLANTING BABrEs.-A great many Gu