Year: 1870

panes OF glass, and a spittoon and


two candlesticks. But this is not


the worst. The reputation of the


paper is injured, and permanently,


| fear. True, there was never


such a call for the paper before,


and it never sold such large edi-


tion or scared to such celebrity (;


but does one want to be famous


for lunacy, and prosper upon the


infrmities of his mind7 My friend,


as l am an honest man, the street


out here is full of people, and 9th.


ers are roosting on the fences,


waiting to get glimpse of you,


because they think you are crazy.


And well they might after reading


your editorials. They are dis


grace to journalism. Why, what


put it into your head that you


could edit a paper of this nature 7


You do not seem to know the first


rudiments of agriculture. You
speak of a turrow and harrow as


being the same thing you talk of


the moulting season for cows ; and


you recommend the domestication


of the pole-cat on account of its


playfulness and its excellence as


a ratter. Your remarks that
CLAIMS will lie quiet if music be
played to them, was superfuous.
Nothing disturbs CLANS. CLAIMS
alscdy8 lie quiet. CLAIMS care
nothing whatever about music.
Ah, heavens and earth, friend, if


you had made the acquiring of
Ignorance the study of your life,
you could not have graduated with
higher honor than you could to-
day. Inever saw anything like it.
Your observation that the horse
chesnut, as an article of commerce,
is steadily growing in favor, is
simply calculated to destroy this


Journal. 1 want you to throw
up your situation and 60. / want
no more holiday could not en-.


Joy it if / had it. / would always
stand in dread of what you might
be going to recommend next. 1t
makes me lose all patience every
time / think of your discussing
oyster beds under the head of
Landscape Gardening I want
you to 60. Nothing on earth
could persuade me to take another
holiday. Oh, why didn't you tell
me you didn't know anything of
agriculture ?"


"7ell you, you cornstalk, you
you son of caulifiower
It's the first time ! ever heard
such an unfeeling remark. ! tell
you have been in the editorial
business going on fourteen years,
and its the first time I ever heard
of a man having to know anything
in order to edit newspaper. You
turnip! Who write the dramatic
critiuues for the second-rate pa-
pers? Why, parcel of promo
ted shoemakers and apprentice
who know just as
much about good acting as I do
about good farming and no more.
Who review the books? People
who never wrote one. Who do up
the heavy leaders on finance ? Par
ties who have had the largest op-
portunities for knowing nothing
about it. Who criticises the In
dian campaigns =? Gentlemen who
do not know - hnap from a
wigwam, o. er had to
run fo. q tomahawk
or pluck an of the several
of /. r families to build
the evening camp fire with. Who
write the temperance appeals and
clamor about the flowing bowl? ?
Folks who will never draw anoth-
er sober breath till they do it in
the grave. Who edit the agricul-
tural papers, you-yam? Men,
as general thing, who fail in the
poetry line, yellow covered novel
line, sensation drama line, city
editor line, and finally fall back
on agriculture as a temporary re-
prieve from the poor house. You
try to tell me anything about the
business! Sir, | have
been through it from Alpha to
Omaha, and / tell you that the
less a man knows the bigger noise
lie makes aud the higher the sala-
~ he commands. Heaven knows
if / had been but ignorant instead
of cultivated, and impudent in.
stead of difident, l could have
made q Dame fol myself in this
cold, selfish world. / take my
leave, sir. Since I have been
treated as you have treated me, /
am perfectly willing to 60. But


/ have done my duty, | have full
filled my contract, as far as / was


permitted to do it. ] said / could
make your paper of interest to all