Year: 1871

THE question that woman should ask
concerning the man she marries, ought
not so much to be, "What are his inten-
tionsp" but "What is his capacity p
How strong is he? How much can he
endure of life's most unprOmising reality,
and come out more than conqueror? He
may be ever 80 loving, ever 80 amiable,
ever 80 elegant and fascinating; but these
are summer-day qualifications! Has he in
his nature the stern stuff of which heroes
are made? Does he esteem virtue to be
of more value than the tricks and manners
of all artful Jezebel? Does he stand with
uncovered head and moistened eyes in
the presence of a tender self-abnegation
that can endure even cruci6xiOn for loves
dear sake, and utter no word of com
plant, but only a prayer for strength
Or does he find in the awful majesty of
such nature an uncomprehended mys-
terry, that dazzles, and blinds, and makes
afraid until he would fain flee from its
presence, even while it was suffering and
dying for his sake? If the latter, he
deserves no blame; he did not choose his
organization; so cover his memory with
the mantle of an imperishable love that he
may never understand, and then 60 thy
way in peace! Sleeping or waking, the
world is broad enough for two, and there
be some mysteries that must wait for the
long eternity to solve. On
the other hand, man who resolves to
risk the precarious combination, matri-
mony and poverty, should choose a wife
with the austerity ofjudgment, rather than
to crafty the passing hunger of tenn
porary appetite. "a man we'll married is
winged badly married, he is shackled."


The terms we'll married and badly mar
ried become more complicated when
poverty is to be considesed. If a man has
wealth. he has but to choose pretty lay
figure for dress and jewels. Mind and
heart are of no const quence; animal
beauty is sufficient. If, however, he has
only poverty and affection to offer, the
choice becomes more difficult. He has,
on the one hand, to avoid the delicate
creature whose overwrought sensibilities
would be inadequate to the heroic strug-
giles or the cruel privations Of his lot; and,
on the other hand, he must not choose a
coarse grained creature, who will bring up
his children to defective education and
vulgar associates, and fill his house with
persons whose society can afford neither
pleasure nor profit


It has been well and truly said that "a
man who would have fine guests must
nave nne Wl1e; Tor 1t Is she who shall
determine whether the Lares and Penates
OF a home shall bring spiritual visions of
dlvlre rest and beauty, or suggest only
sensuous dreams of physical comfort. 1t
is the wife whom the neighbors weigh and
measure, from back windows and front
door steps, and by chance meetings, when
they hand in the social verdict as to whcth-
er the Smiths or Browns are "anybody,"
and worth inviting in a select circle to
meet distinguished guests. 1t is the wife
who must make the dignity of her own
individuality apparent, irrespective of her
surroundings or her husbands poverty or
wealth. 1t is the wife who shall train the
children for her own social status: for in
poverty, not less than in wealth, the chill
dren OF heroic parents may become fitted
for the greatest intellectual honors and So
cial triumphs. TO do this, however, re-
quires nice discrimination, that there be