Year: 1876




in temper until you mention the words '.Roman Cath
olic" or sJesuitn Then takes down its large die
tionary and picks out all the hard phrases IL says


The Jesuit the Of evil In the guse OF
religion;'' and again. ''He is almost the only man
whose word you cannot trust" This phraseoogy is
indicative of undue excitement and recommend
spoonful OF the soothing syrup OF Christian charity.
II the editor OF that journal will look again he will
find that there s nock In the world that consists
solely OF black sheep.


II is said that the Rev. W. vandemark OF California
Is to the part OF Hamlet in Of the city theatres
In that case OF course. his pulpit will be occupied by
the Ghost II TOO much TO ask Of any clergyman
that he shall play in "Hamlet every night and at
matinees and then preach Sunday. The people
have such strong sympathy for him that they refuse
to and hear him preach, and demand that he shall
"gve himself rest" on Sunday that he may prepare
for the strictly clerical and arduous duties o the
room and the stage The people are very consderate


The Widow Van Cott, as she is called, is someth ng
OF a sensational preacher. Women have always said
that they wanted TO get into the various professions
in order to introduce refining influence We ex-
peced therefore, that when Mrs. Van cott entered the
pulpit she would WIN souls by her gente persuasion,
and that her eoqucnce would be delicate the
notes Of harp. Imagine her, then, dramatizing the
"Ninety and Nine" running round the pulpit in a
frantic way, as though 1t were mountain pass, and
looking wildly the audience, though they
the trecs OF forest, with here and there . hycna
or q lion, and calling out for the sheep that has
gone asray. To introduce the arts OF the theatre into
the churchis mply to make religion kind Of low
comedy and such things be convinced that
St Paul was right when he told women to keep still.


The number OF who labor under the deusion
that they have solved the problem OF the is
very large. Curiousy enough they are generally men
w
a long circular from OF these persons whom the
world ncgects, in which It is distinctly
proven by twenty propositions, badly and illogi-
caly stated that Newton and Bacon dwarfs, and
that for Dr. Treat discover the only
genuine turtle whose back the universe is built.
Every literary man Is teased and pestered TO the brink
Of despair by setelccted philosophers who have seen
everything in o dream and want 10 bore somebody
with the details. Lilterateurs and clergymen will be
compelled long TO have sign on their front door,
sAen who know everything and are anxious to tell II
wall please pass on.'


Very few people are aware OF the good which Jerry
McAuey is dong In the Water Street Mission. Once
trough" himself he breaches to roughs, and without
the most distant reference to English grammar.
Everybody understands what he means, though, when
he says, "Boys, once as bad of as you, but now
see what good coat I've got on. SO much for relIg
ion Come along and get IT, There's enough for the
whole crowd"


There has been considerable excitement IN Presby-
terian circles the fact that Rev. Mr. See allowed
TO occupy his pulpit II has not yet abated.
The Presbytery tried to avoid pushing the matter to
trial. They begged the parties interested to with
draw their complaint, which they all did except Mr..
See, who insists that he will be tried and, If guilty.
condemned He said that st. Paurs command is that
shall not ''babbc," not that they shall not
"preach." AT this Rev. Mr.. Craven, who was BY
In his manner, became excited, and said
Short that the word which is translated preach,
and which Mr.. See interprets "babble," occurs 2S7
times in the New Testament and that he will bet-ho
does not say bet, but that is what he means-$l o00
to be paid before sundown, that 1t don't mean 'bab
ble' In q single These little clerical squabbes
very entertaining. They show that the human
OF ccrgymen is indeed sanct;ded for whereas
in q political misunderstanding Of the
size the broadest vivid English would
bo hurled rccklessly each other these ecclesiastical
disturbances the mdest explosives are used, and
deal Of circumlocution resortcd to- in order to
express what worldly man would say short
pthy phrase That little phrase is uttered by
clerical lips, but If you look At the flashing eye you
will at once thnt he wishes be were not clergy
man just Ave minutes that he might do justice to
the subject and in the proper language.


At Council Bluffs they have genuine sensation.
little while ago some smejums" sitting for what
they could get when behold lovely little girl dead,
OF course, came into the room and presented the COM
pany with large piece OF candy. Whether the candy
came from somo celestial confectionery store, or
whether 1t was purloined from earthly manufac-
turer Of sweots, is not known. To suppose that
angel stole the candy is difficult and to suppose that
the candy made IN heaven Is also difficult We
in great trouble OF mind about the whole matter
Tho funny part OF the story is that when the candy
held in The hand the ANIMAL heat changes to tho
shape OF beautiful rose, and when II cools OF IL Is
only ordinary stick OF peppermint The mediums
declare that they never no never, saw such conclusive
proof OF the souls Immortality. What delight It
must bc 10 gaze In rapt wonder and penny
stick OF peppermint which eame directly from the
other side Of Jordan. Not all the gulls in the world
have feathers


Don't read chapter Of the Bible to . starving man
unit, you pu. roas. turkey on tho table He can un-
derstsnd what you mean whom you talk about religion
n you viii give him kind OF object lesson show
him that your religion Is give Of your plenty 10
every poor you know.


we have peculiar horror in inmost being it Is
for the who gathers vital statistics In order 10
build some theory thereon. There is . gentleman in
the far West who must be living interrogation point
for he sends circular with eight pages OF ques-
tions in it. he you to tell him the OF your
head IRON centre oil ears around top oil head and
under chIn'' and various other things, such as lhc
'lcngth OF hand the "strength OF ancestors" and
the "hour at which you retire." We are so glad that
tho gentleman whose curiosity to bo so un-
duly excited does not reside In this neighbor-
hood. We know OF dire punishment
for the utterly incorrigbic than 10 be doomed u
daily visit from man who rs gathering Statistics
who comes into your presence with = large roll OF
manuscripts under his arm and throws many ques-
tions you in given time as mitrailleuse does
bullets. Tho Roman catapuit, which only threw paw
ing stones into the faces CT the foe. "a thing Of
beauty and JOY forever" in the comparison. Whom
wc such coming up front steps wo
always send word that have just quietly brcathed
last; but he is never satisfied, ior he instantly
takes out paper and pencil and asks the servan, what