Year: 1873

A Danbury man started for Green
wich, Friday, to see an iron fence.
What he wanted to see an iron fence for
we don't know, and it really makes no
difference. He went. He wanted to go
off on the $50 train, so he hurried home
to get ready. His wife and a vicious
outside woman were cleaning house, and
it was some little time before he could
get his society suit ready In the
meantime he opened fire on the largest
half of a custard pie, holding it in his
hand, and dancing around and yelling
for his things. When she brought his
overcoat, he set the pie in a chair, to
put on the coat, but in his nervousness
stepped on the end of long-handled
whitewash brush which was balanced
across pail, and the other end flew up
and discharged about a pint of the aw-
full mixture over the sofa, wall paper,
and his painting, indignant wife. She
made remark and he contradicted it.
Then he sat down in the chair where
the pie was, and got up with howl that
would have melted the stoutest heart
She wanted him to wait while she
scraped off the surplus, but he was too
mad to converse in words of more than
one syllable, and started for the depot,
and boarded the train, and in the seclu-
sion of the baggage-car removed the Of
fensive lunch.


He got to Greenwich all right, and
looked at the fence. We hope he adj
mired it. Then he started for home
but missed the train, and as the next
was an express and didn't stop at Green
wich, he was obliged to walk to the
draw-bridge at Cos Cob or stay in
Greenwich all night. So he walked up
there in the rain, but didn't mind it
hn Ia nd hn
pie was pretty well dried in. When he
got to Cos Cob he stood up on fence
to look at the scenery, and swear, when
sharp gust of wind took off his hat
and carried it across bog lot. Then
he stepped down on the other side, too
amazed to express himself, and another
gust of wind came along, and turned
the umbrella inside out, A brief con-
versation here ensued between himself
and the umbrella, which he still held,
and he again started for the hat. When
he got it, he kicked it around several
times and then jammed it down on his
head, and started once more through
the bogs as the train drew up at the
bridge. It was a terrible struggle, as
the bogs were uncertain, but he strain
ed, and coughed, and spit, and howled,
and swore, and it did seem as if he
would catch it after all. What be
thought as he stood on that fence and
watched the train sail across the bridge,
no human being can tell.


An hour later he appeared in Stam-
ford, wet through to the skin, splashed
with mud, and with an expression on
his face that would have scared a
hydrant. Backing himself against the
depot he stood there until near mid
night, and then went up on the owl
train to Norwalk, falling asleep in the
meantime, and narrowly escaping being
carried by the depot. Here he took the
freight for Danbury, arriving at home
just before daylight His wife was abed
but not sleeping. She lay there torn
by forebodings and harassed by sus-
pense. Perhaps he was dead and lying
on the cold ground in the rain. Then
she thought of his ifeless body, and
groaned and thought of the pie and
groaned again. She knew his knock
the moment it sounded, and, rushing
downstairs in the costume appropriate
to that hour, she threw herself into his
hair and Historically shouted, "Oh,
you old rascal Come in here. -
Donbx,,y Nea0s.