smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

How DRINKINa CAUSES APO-
PLExY.-It is the essential nature OF
all wines and spirits 10 send an in
creased amount Of blood TO the
brain. The first effect of taking A
glass of wine or stronger form OF
alcohol, is TO send the blood there
faster than common, hence the cir
Culation that gives the red face. IL
increases the activity Of the brain,
and it works faster, and so does the
tongue. But if the blood goes to
the brain faster than common, Il ro-
turns faster, and no special harm
results. But suppose q man keeps
on drinking, the blood is sent to the
brain so fast, and in such large
quantities, that in order to make
room for il the arteries have to en-
large themselves; they increase in
size, and in so doing they press
against the more yielding and laccid
veins which carry the blood out OF
the brain, and thus diminish their
size, their pores, the result being
that the blood is not only carried to
the arteries of the brain faster than
is natural or healthfuI, but it is pre-
vented from leaving it as fast as
usual; hence a double set of causes
Of death are in operation. A man
may drink enough brandy or other
spirits in a few hours, or even min
utes, to bring o. fatal attack Of
apopieKy.
Year: 1873

A noted New York editor having
delivered himself of the opinion
that virtue is its own reward" q
bilious brother wonders how the
plague he found this thing out, see
ing that the sentiment could not
have come from his own experience.
There is, sometimes, funny way OF
saying very severe things.
Year: 1873

A printer boy in town lately saw
q preachers daughter home, and
the next time he attended meeting
he was taken down at hearing the
minister announce in his text: ''My
daughter is grievously tormented
with q devil"
Year: 1873

A bachelor ses captain, who was
remarking one day that he wanted a
good chief officer, was promptly in
formed by a young lady that she
had no objections to be his first
mate. He took the hint-and the
lady.
Year: 1873

THE SIXTH SENsE-A certain fop
was boasting in company that he
had every sense in PERFECTION
etThere is one you are entirely with
out" " said one who was BY, sfand
J that is comon sense.
Year: 1873




Men Of business it is now and
then a profitable venture to do moth
ing at all In the power 10 put bus
mess aside and abiding now and
then in perfect quiet, things some
times solve themselves, when we
give them that advantage, which re-
fuse 10 e0me clear with all our try
ing. We Sl know how, by simply
taking some perplexity into the
deepest silence this side Of death
a good nights sleep we can do bet
ter sometimes than IL we sat up and
wrought at task ali night.


When Mathew Murray, of Leeds,
wanted to see hisway through some
perpl6Xity IN his invention, and aii
effort was Of no use, he rested night
and day from all effort except the
effort an active man has to keep
himself quiet; and then the thing he
wanted would steal in, and look at
him and light on him, and stay as
birds used 70 light on the old her
mitss no more afraid of them than
of the tree under which the sat.
Year: 1873

SOMEBODY OF II statistical turn o
mind ls puzzled TO account Tor the great
surplus of births over deaths in 1872
We suppose the reason is because it i;
cheaper, tor 8 man can be born tol
much less than be can be buried ADd
a penny saved is penny earned.
Year: 1873

IL is said by many ladies that have them in use,
that they are very truly named. Any person that has
used the DOty Machine can ihIs without any
difficulty; the process Of washing is much the same
except that 1t washes much faster II will wash about
double The quantity Of gonds a time. 1t will wash
them quicker and cleaner; II only works halfa hard
as the DOy or any Other hue that takes in as
grell bulk OF goods at time. The family size have
the capacity Of washing six sheets in three minutes


have washed, with the Hotel size, eight sheets and
eight pillow cases in three minutes in public BY the
Vatch all made Of tOIerably heavy goods What |
say OF am prepared 10 prove by practical demon.
straiIOn whenever required 10 do


II is believed by many that clothing washed in this
Machine will last about twice as long as II washed
on the washbOsrd.


The Price of this Machine is Reduced 10 suit the
times, from SIS To SI2 at factory, and freight
added, II irtighled All orders by mail promptly at
tended to Satisfaction Is guaranteed IN all cases
Any person not satisfied after using the Machine sill
months, and giving II fair trial. and have no OIhe
reason save that it does not work satisfactorily, such
one can return II, and the money will be refunded
Year: 1873

A writer in the Chicago Advance SAYS
that "the ventriloquist's art is as easy
to learn as falling off log. He main
tains that there is no difficulty in ac-
quiring the power. In the first place,
he says, speak any word or sentence in
your own natural tone then open the
mouth and fix your jaws fast, as though
trying to hinder any one from opening
them further or shutting them draw
the tongue back in a ball; speak the
same words, and the sound. instead of
being formed in the mouth, will be
formed in the pharynx. Great atten-
ton must be paid to holding the jaws
rigil. The sound will then be found to
initiate voice from the other side of
the door when it is closed, or under a
floor, or through a wall. To initiate a
sound behind a door partly open, the
voice must not be altered from the
original note or pitch, but be made in
another part of the mouth. This is done
by closing the lips tight and drawing
one corner of the mouth downward or
toward the ear Then let the lips open
at the corner only, the other part to re-
main closed. Next, breathe, as it were,
the words out of the orifice formed. Do
not speak the words dintinctly, but ex-
pei the breath in short puffs at each
word, and Jas loud as possible. BY so
doing, you produce the illusion in the
minds of your listeners that they hear
the same voice which they heard when
the door was closed, but more distinctly
and nearer on account of the door being
open. The lips must always he used
when the ventriloquist wishes it to ap-
pear that the sound comes through an
obstacle, but from some one close at
hand /"
Year: 1873

Joseph Arch is by this time on his
way towards Canada and the United
States. In both, his special mission
will derive aid and influence from his
religious character. He goes ont as
president of the National agricultural
iaborer's union and the fact that he is
An accredited preacher of the gospel TO
the poor in connection with the most
useful body of Methodists on the face OF
the earth, has gone out before him.
That body possesses recognized minis
ters and churches in most parts of
British America; and IL the great repub-
lie no sect of Christians is more nume-
rous or more widely influential than are
those bearing the Methodist name. On
both sides of the territorial line, We feel
sure, he will meet with q hearty and
brotherly reception; not only from
those who bear the same name, and had
the same common origin, but also from
all denominations in that grand region.
Ali Americans, and nearly all Cana
dians, will admire and sympathize with
the self-denying man who has left home
and country, family and friends, for
the sake of that dewn-trOd million Of
his fellow patriots, who, with their
wives and families, have been too long
at the mercy of landlords and employers
considering them as serfs, and under
the nominal care of religious teachers
who, living in luxury, have, for the
most part, reproached them Within
gratitude for not being contented to
slave and starve. He goes ont to Judge
by the sight of his own eyes whether
the happy union of liberty with plenty
and social happiness, Of which he has
heard by the hearing Of the ear, really
exists on the other shore of the Atlantic
ocean and he pledges himself before
hani that if he find the picture to be
true he will spend five years upon the
spot, in either bringing the landlords and
the farmers of England to juster sense
of their relative duties, or transplanting
his fellow-labofers to soil which In
vites the outlay of their honest and IN.
dustrious tell for the sole benefit OF
themselves and their families. Bee
hire, London.
Year: 1873

There are no flSh IN the great oalt
Lake. The only living thing beneath
its waters is a worm about quarter OF
an inch long. This worm shows up
beautifully beneath the lens of micro
scope. When storm arises the worms
are driven ashore by thousands and de-
voured by the black gulls. We found
a pure stream pouring into the lake. IL
was filled with little chubs and sinners.
The fish became frightened and were
driven down the brook into the briny
lake. The instant they touched its wa
ters thev came to the surface belly up
ward, and died without gasp.


The water is remarkable buoyant.
Eggs and potatoes float upon 1t like
corks. Mr.. Rood and myself stripped
and went in swimming. l dove into the
lake from long pier, which had been
built for the use of a small steamboat
that formerly piled upon the waters.
The sensation was novel. The water
was so salty that my eyes and ears began
to smart, but so buoyant that l found
no difficulty in floating even when the
air was exhausted in my lungs. As j
struck out for the beach 1 felt as light
as a feather In spite Of all that J
could do nv heels would fly out Of the
water. found it impossible to stand
upon the bottom. The lightness of the
water and the surging of the waves
forced nv feet from under me. a per
son who could not swim might be easily
drown in five feet of water. His head
would 90 down like lump of lead,
while his feet would fly up like pair OF
ducks. The water is as clear as the Wa
ter of Seneca lake, so clear that the
bottom could be seen at the depth OF
twenty feet. When We reached the
shore and crawled ont upon the sand in
the light of the sun our bodies were
quickly coated with salt. We were COM
pelled to go to the little stream from
which we had driven the chubs and
sinners and WASH off in fr sh water be-
fore we put on our clothes. Our hair
was filled with grains of salt which
could not be washed out. The Nor
mons occasionally visit the lakes IN
droves fer the purpose of bathing.
Many of them say that their health If
improve,i by leaving the salt upon theli
bodies and dressing without wlplne
themselves with napkins.


One of the main causes of Napoleon
Ills popularity among the peasants
was the succession of splendid crops
which followed each other year aftel
year daring his reign. Napoleon III. nm
derstood this matter well, and when
short crop was imminent he took tim'
by the forelock, and had so much grair
imported into France that the price re
mained stationary. During NJ. Theirs
first year, grain rose in price, and tn
laborers' loaf rose four sous In thu
pound. The rich harvest of last yea


alone saved him from total disgrace
Although the pric. remained as he lef
il. there was no complaint, but nov
that an extra sou has been aaded, thsf'
is a. pSSgeral cry of alarm. n n the |
var departmsP mEaae .pen is
Year: 1873

HUsr1xGs CoURT.-This court met ye>tcr-
dav ut the usual hour. but the room was
found to be so full of smoke from fire just
kindled in the dilapidated old stove in the
crumbling old building that the JudSs had
to adjourn the court until to-day.
Year: 1873

III should die tonight
My friends would look upon my quiet face
Before they laid it in its resting place,
And deem that death had left it almost fair
And, laying snow-white flowers against my hair,
Would smooth it down with fearful tenderness,
And fold my hands with lingering caress.
Poor hands, SO empty and SO cold tonight


If should die tonight
Ny friends would call to mind, with loving


thought,


Some kindly deed the icy hand had wrought;
Some gentle word the frozen lips had said !;
Errands on which the willing feet had sped;
The memory of my sefshness and pride,
My hasty words, would all be put aside,
And so should be loved and mourned tonight.


If should die tonight,
Even hearts estranged would turn once more


to me,


Recalling other days remorsefully.
The eyes that chill me with averted glance
Would look upon me as of yore, perchance,
And soften, in the old familiar way
For who could war with dumb, unconscious clay
So might rest, forgiven Of all, tonight


Oh, friends, pray tonight,
Keep not your kisses for my dead, cold brow.
The way is lonely, let me feel them now
Think gently Of me; am travel-worn;
My faltering feet are pierced with many a thorn.
Forgive, oh, hearts estranged, forgive plead!
When dreamless rest is mine shall not need
The tenderness for which l long tonight.


Christian Union.
Year: 1873

Reader, did you evertake Russian bathf
No! Well, just step with me into this
quiet old fashioned looking house on Fourth
street, which has an air of staid respecta-
bility lingering about it-a "reminiscences of
the worthy and digni6ed Van Renesalaers
or Cortlandts who once lived there.


AT the end of the main hall as you enter
from the street is little Office where you
leave your watch and pocket-book, if yeu
possess such luxuries, and where you will
receive the ticket that is "good ior one
bath" Adjoining this hall is the parlor,
where bathers lounge about on couches or in
easy chairs, after their lavatorial exercises,
and smoke their cigars or read the maya
zines and papers. You will notice that the
furniture is elegant and Injurious, that the
walls are adorned with attractive works of
art that song birds make the air melodious
with their ringing voices, and that the entire
place is pervaded with an air of comfort and
serenity.


Now we will pass down stairs to the
dressingrooms or undressing-rooms, as the
case may be, though, if you prefer it, there
are more exclusive rooms just off from the
parlors for the regular ha6itues of the place,
among whom, it is to be supposed, you will
soon be numbered.


Here is the first hot room, looking as
bright and as fresh as daisy, with its new
ly-painted frescoes and white marble couch
es. There is the plunge bath, in which the
water is continually changing, and in this
corner are the needle and heavy douches,
which you will find wonderfully refreshing
when you have been steamed for about half
an hour.


But the temperature here is too low for
people rejoicing in good health, and to get
the full effects of the bath; let US step into
the next apartment.


Whew. what cloud of binding steam.
Don't shrink back it won't hurt you.


There Isn't it pleasant? Stretch your
self out on this marble slab, with a wet
sponge under your head, and give yourself
up to the delightful day dreams that can
only be perfectly enjoyed under such cir
cumstanceS.


Now we go under the hands Of the Draw
ny German, who passes the greater part of
his time in the red-hot steam and seems to
grow fat on it. The soap and the scrubbing
brush are effective, and the skin feels as
light and airy after this gentle persuasion as
an old sieve with the bottom knocked out.


In this passage-way are more douches and
sitz bad, some of which we will try, and
then take jump into the great plunge in
the hottest room. This prepares US for the
shampooers, who dry and rub and pull and
haul US, until our joints work as easily as
well-worn slipper. After this, little doze
in the parlors and we are ready for the
street.


Could anything be more refreshing?-
Don't you feel invigorated and restored, and
and altogether light-hearted, after the ex-
periences of the past hour? These are the
characteristic effects of Russian bath as
administered in Fourth street, and if you
don't believe it, you have only to undergo
the treatment in reality instead of in imag-
ination to he convinced.-N. z. Euening
Mail
Year: 1873




The following comes from the Springfield
Union: A gentleman of Boston had a SON.
in-law who was a preacher. he secured
his settlement over one Of the city churches.
He was a feeble preacher, and the congre-
CATION soon tired of him, and parish meet
ing was called for change. The parish
voted by pews, and there was one majority
for retaining the pastor. Upon inquiry it
was ascertained that the thrifty father-in-law
had bought up all the cheap pews in the gal
lery and elsewhere, and had actually secured
a majority of votes. A committee waited
on Mr.. A. and demonstrated with him on
keeping preacher in the pulpit go distaste-
full to the congregation. He replied: Gen
tlemen, l know my son-in-law is not much
of preacher, but my position is purely
business one. l have got him on my hands
with my daughter, and must support him.
All the assistance get out Of you, gentle
men, is 80 much clear gain"
Year: 1873

SENT HcNE.-A Washington paper tells
CT an elegantly-dressed, young lady who
went into one of the dry goods stores. on
Pennsylvania avenue, bought spool of cot
ton, and requested the proprietor to have it
sent home. Overwhelmed with the impor-
tant duty SO suddenly thrust upon him, he
Immediately procured an express wagon and
detailed clerk, who lifting the spool into
the wagon, drove with it to the residence Of
the young lady, and dismounting, rang the
bell, and when the door was opened, placed
the spool upon his shoulder and carried it
into the hall and gently placedit on end,
as if it had been a barrel Of flour, and then
retired. The CONSERVATION Of the family
can be imagined. The head of the house
has been dodging in and out Of the dry
goods stores during the past week trying to
| find that clerk.
Year: 1873

and come to fnd out knew him. asked
him was be from The North p and he said
"he was +" He exclaimed, "Is it is it n
Then l exclaimed the same, and come to
find out, it was both of us. We had met
under the following circumstances
Year: 1873

Never tell man that he is liar unless
you are certain that you can lick him, for as
general rule, when you say that it means
fight.


1 have arrived at this conclusion through
sad experience. / know it is not safe to
give the lie to a muscular Christian. -


/ did once. am sorry for it now, as l
never grieved for anything else in the whole
course ofmy life.


We were standing on the side walk in
front Of the club, when made the state
ment. We had been talking politics, and
men who talk politics and get hot over it,
are-to put it mildly lunatics, or else want
an Office; or have some friend who wants an
Office. This man made an assertion. touch
ing the fair fame Of my favorite candidate,
which / believed to be untrue. 1t is proba-
BILE that if it had been as true as it was
false, should have taken the same course
because, you understand, man has no
sense who talks politics, anyhow. | think
said that before, but it is all the same
want to make it strong, and get you to
understand how got my ornamental eye


mildly suggested that man who would
make such astatement as that, was lost tc
all sense Of shame, and would be guilty o.
any base crime. ses4 s,.n


He disagreed with me upon that point
| As for himself he never mafle n statement
, except upon the most ample proof. M.
candidate was the meanest william unhung
/ told-h he sled.


have been kicked by a mule ;haYe falleI
out ola second story window on hare
pavement eaten green.persinmons; heart
Miss Blow read poetry for two hours and't
half skated, hunted, rode a sharp-backe'
horse Of mustang parentage, an adept in tn
art Of bucking" suffered grief Of yariou
kinds, aud stiIl cluug to life but al thss
Year: 1873

ANOTHER STAGE has been reached In the po-
liticaI difficulty i'm Louisiana. Kellogg aud his
officers have been indicted by the grand jury in
New Orleans for usurping the Government of the
state, aud Judge Durcll has ordered them to be
summoned TO answer the charge Now this ac-
tion Of the grand Jury should afford a fair oppor-
tHnlty for full aud thorough inquiry into the
whole trouble. Every facility should be afforded
to each side, and every means taken to secure
just AID satisfactory decision. Judge Durell is
not perhaps the best man before whom such
cause might be argued, seeing that he Is the one
who by his Improper Interference In the matter of
the election boards materially helped to compli
cate matters, and to precipiate the conflict that
has since been productive OF such saAgulnary re-
suits. But then lac proceeded under The inlprcs-
sion that he was carrying out the wishes Of the
administration. If he were to receive an intima
lion that nothing but the discovery of the real
merits of the is desired by the authorities at
Washington, his conduct in the present instance
might bc much more satisfactory. Or might not
some other Judge be appointed TO try the cause,
who should come to Its consideration with mind
wholly unbiassed?- Philadelphia Telegraph
Year: 1873

The first instance OF the failure Of a
divorce suit ever chronieled in Indi.
ana occurred the other day IN the case
OF a lady whose husband died just be-
fore the judges decision could be ren-
dered.
Year: 1873

The genius and structure of our form
of free government, as well as its purity,
demand rotation in Office a frequent
return of power to the people, who are the
source Of all power and the rightful owners
of every office from the highest to the
lowest, and thel return to them of the
great trust reposed by them in the Presi-
den of the United States is, as it was in
Washington, and it will be in Grant, an act
challenging the admiration of the civilized
word, and the highest evidence Of the
durability of constitutional liberty in this
country. Illinois State Journal.


"A most sensible step has been taken
by the Republican committee Of Marshall
county, Illinois. In issuing their call for
county convention they recognize the fact
that the issues for which their party has
contented in the past have been now con-
ceded, and in order that the new issues
fully discussed and the real sense of the
party thereon obtained, they say they
have thought it best to double the usual
number Of delegates. This sort of al, ,
rangement breaks up the packing busi-
heard.


1t would look as though Senator
Morton, of Indiana, was likely to make
| fight against the salary bill, in spite Of the
suspicion which has attached to his neglect
to draw his own back pay and cover it into
the treasury. AT all events, The Indian
apolis journal, which is generally recogniz-
ed as Senator Morton's friend, has recently
denounced the act IN toto, and has gone so
far as to say that, g being tainted by fraud,
the whole act is wrong,n and that conse-
quently President Grants salary can be
reduced to the old figure" 1t is reported
that General Grant has become alarmed
at the indignation of the people, and
has also concluded that the salary bill
ought to be repealed for the sake Of the
party. 1t is very questionable, as we have
already pointed out, whether the presi-
dents salary was lawfully increased, under


that provision of the constitution which
provides that his compensation shall be
neither increased nor diminished during the
period-not the tea1,--for which he shall
have been elected. But whether General


Grants pay can be reduced to the old fig


ure or not, should not be permitted to in


terfere with the repeal of the bill.-C Chaca-
90 Tribune.
Year: 1873

They appear to have heard something
drop out in Iowa, as well as everywhere
else. The people have got the idea that all
things are not SO lovely as they might be,
and that some sort of change is necessa-
ry. The feeling is thus described by the
Burlington Gazette: "The people are res
tive, uneasy, and nervous. There is some
thing wrong. They feel it and know it.
The tyranny of party has brought about q
bad state Of affairs in the country; and
perhaps no state in the north is suffering
any worse than Iowa. The produce which
her farmers raise cannot be got to market
without giving two-thirds of it as trans
portation fee. No intelligent man need be
told that this is wrong. tits self-eyident
fact. There is question which is more
perplexing, and that is, what is the cause Of
this, and how is it to be remedied?"
Year: 1873

Is THAT So?-It is reported that the
Radical press are about to agitate for pub
lie baths and wash-houses. The editor of
The STATE JOURNAL will lead off. Well
cleanliness is next to Godliness," and of
course the Radicals cannot be Cody.
Fdampille Commonwealth.


We are not disposed to put our private
wash-tub at the disposal Of the editor Of
The Commonwealth, but if he comes to
Richmond and can raise quarter, Hobson
will accommodate him.