Year: 1870




Maria Ann recently determined to go 10 a
picnic.


Maria Ann is my unfortunately.
She had planned to go it alone, so far as |
was concerned, on that picnic excursion;
but when heard about it, determined TO
assist. She pretended she was very glad (;
but don't believe she was. "It will do
you good to get away from your work for a
day, poor fellow" she said, "and we shall
so much enjoy cool morning ride on the
cars, and dinner in the woods.


On the morning of that memorable day
Maria Ann got up at o'clock. About
three minutes later she disturbed my slum-
bers and told me to come to breakfast. ]
told her was not hungry but it didn't make
bit of difference, Ihad to get up. The sun
was up; | had no idea thesun began business
so early in the morning, but there he was


CHOW, said Maria Ann, eve must hy
around, for the cars start at half past six.
Eat all the breakfast you can, for you won t
get anything more before noon"


| could not eat anything at that time in
the morning, and it was just as well could
not, for l had all | could do. There was ice
to be pounded to go around the pail of ice
cream, and the sandwiches to be cut, and |
thought | never should get the legs of the
chickens fixed so that could put the cover
on the big basket. Maria Ann flew around
and piled up groceries for me to pack, and
gave directions to the girl about taking care
of the house, and was putting on her new
dress all at once. There is great deal of
energy in that woman-perhaps little too
much


AT twenty minutes past six stood on the
front steps with basket on one arm and
Maria AIMS waterproof on the other, and a
pail in each hand, and bottle of vinegar in
my coat skirt pocket There was camp
chair hung ON me somewhere, too, but for
get just now.


"Now," said Maria Ann, eve must run,
or we shall not catch the cars"


'Maria, said l, ''that is reasonable
idea. How do you suppose can run with
all this freight p


"You must, you brute. You always try
to tease me. If you don't want scene on
the streets you will start, too"


So | ran


l had one comfort at least. Maria Ann
fell down and broke her parasol. She called
me a brute again because laughed; Maria
drovc me all the way to the depot on brisk
trot, and we got on the cars; but neither OF
us could get a seat, and could not find any
place where could set the things down, SC
| stood there and held them.


"Maria," said, in winning accents, 'how
is this for cool morning ride %


She said ''you are brute, jenkins.


Said | "My love, you have made that
remalk before .


kept my courage up, yet knew there
would be an hour of wrath when we got
home. While we were getting out Of the
cars the bottle in my pocket got broke, and
consequently J. lad one boot half full of vim
egar all day. That kept me pretty quiet,
and Maria Ann ran off with big whiskered
music teacher, and lost her fan, and got her
feet wet, and tore her dress, and enjoyed
herself much after the fashion of picnic 60
ers. ! thought it would never come dinner
time, and Maria called me pig because ]
wanted to open our basket before the rest of
the baskets were open.


AT last it came. "The nice dinner in the
woods" you know. Over three thousand
little red ants had got into our dinner, and
they were worse to pick out than fish bones
The ice cream had melted and there was no
vinegar for the cold meat, except what was
of no immediate use. The music teach
er spilled a cup of coffee ON Maria's
head, and pulled all her frizzles off trying to
wipe off the coffee with his handkerchief
Then sat upon raspberry pie, and spoiled
my white pants, and concluded l didn't want
anything more. l had to stand up against
a tree the rest of the afternoon. The day
offered considerable variety, compared with
every day Office life; but there were SO many
little drawbacks that did not enjoy it SC
much as might have done.