Year: 1872

teen children, (more or less) and the pro-
prietress of kind, .peace-loving husband,
adhere to the following rules.


When you get up late in the morning
spank up all the children to dress in time
ior breakfast, and scold all the time YOU
are dressing yourself-the effect will be
conductive to pelce and quiet.


II your husband complains of deuced
headache, make as much noise as you can
and rattle the breakfast dishes. 1t will
nave a. very soothing effect and he will
ENJOY his breakfast amazingly. If he
doesn't like apple dunplings, and you do,
have them every day for dinner. and he
wili be sure to call you dear little
duck. :,


Don't meet him with kiss when he
comes home tired and out of sorts-that
spolls the men creatures-but scold him
for bringing in mud he should sit out on
the steps and take off his boots before
entering the house.


When your husband refuses you seven
| hundred dollars to buy new shawl, pout
for three weeks. and throw the old one in
the fire. You. will surely get it.
If lady visitor comes in directly after
dinner, call in eleven of the children to be
seen and admired, and let them thumb
her silk dress till it's greasy enough to
! fry, break her parasol. step on her No. 2
| foot in No. gaiter, and cut of her
back curls while she is talking to you.
You can't imagine how delighted she will
| be with their innocent mischievous pro-
pensities, nor how frequently she will
i call.


Never command your children to obey
you. but coax, hire and entreat them
| they will have more respect for you.
Whom children come ir to their meals
they should enter boisterously and create
great of deal confusing in seating them
seIves--it enlivens ones spirits so.
Never correct them for any breach of
table etiquette. On the contrary. laugh
at it, and if they should fgl over bone
or cake, don't interfere-its SO very in
teresting and amusing.


Teach YOUR children to hold the knife
and fork in one hand and eat with the
other-fngers were made before knives
and forks-and when they hand up their
cups for more slops show them how to
hold knife, fork and spoon in the same
| hand with the cup and saucer-it Is so
much more graceful.


If Mary insists on saying her prayers
near the fire. whip her up and don't let
her say them at all-she might burn her
nightgown. And if Kate objects to say
ing her prayers, make her stand outside
the door aud pray out loud-she will be
sure to have meeker spirit, and the
Group in the night.


When Billy or Johnny tumbles down
down stairs, beat him within an inch of
his life-especially when he skins his
chin-and he VIII never do SO a gain unless
you request him.


When you hear row in the nursery
don't investigate it, but fall in among
them, and slap to the right and to the
lleft-you'll be certain to hit the right
one.
! Reader, if you are man, remember the
following hints


! When YOU 20 home to dinner, if it ism I
ready when you enter the house, snap al


your wife, kick the cat, beat seven of the
children, aud sling yourself out of the
house to a restaurant. When you return
to slpper, examine your plato cup and
sa r-all the dishes-and those thai


d, Mt reflect your phiz like mirror, yor


must throw at the house gal, then dis


charge tho cook and let your wife get uI
next morning with sick headache. to &C
breakfast for you. If she dosen't do it ul


in style bring home three lawyers to din


ncr.
And row for a word to children:


I've Instructed your mother how t
train her children, but I'd like to giv'
YOU a little extra advice.


Don't 90 out of doors to play, if yot
can get in the parlor Ifthere's a piano
thump on it till it won't sound, then shu
it with bang, aud break the back oil


three of the best chairs.


If YOU have an older sister. abuse her


kick her, give her all the impertinenc
:. aud insolence you can think of, and sh
t will be very affectionate and obligin;


sister.


: Never go to the table unless your face
Is we'll smeared with dirt, and hair tangle'


and browsed all over your head 1T Is no
rentcel to have smooth hair. Take car
that your hands are thee or four shade


dirtier than your face: go to the tabl


with your hat on, take 1T of when 20
are seated, and lay it by or on plate Q
bread. Talk loud, and if you see any


thing you want grab it, if you have t
S climb on the table for it.. Stick you
r enpers in the salt, eat with your fingers
t or, if you eat with a knife. which is NOR


penteel than fork, take it out OF you
: mouth and put it ih the butter. Stu
!, yourself as full as you can, and take tn


largest and best share of everything. Their
o are great many morethings l could te
!, vou. but these will do to make you plea
3 ant and agnaeable to all around you.


nn1Es-Rovs do not be dandie