Year: 1875

Max Adeler has the following:


Last December my friend Keyser
dreamed one night that he would die on
the 18th OF January. So strong was be
assured Of the fact that the vision would
come true that he began at once to make
preparations for his departure. He got
measured Tor burial suit, he drew up
his will, he picked out nice lot in the
cemetery and had it fenced in be loined
the church, and selected six of the dea.
cons as his pail bearers he also requested
the choir to sing at his funeral, and he
got them to run over his favorie hymn
to see how it would sound. Then
he got Toombs the undertaken to knock
together burial casket, with silver han.
dies, and cushions inside, and instructed
the undertaken 10 rush out his best hearso
and to buy sixty pairs of black gloves to
be distributed among the mourners. He
had some trouble in deciding upon a
tombstone. The man at the marble yard
wanted to shove off on him second hand
one, with an angel weeping over kind of
pot; but keyser finally ordered new
one, with a design representing rosebud
with a broken stem, and the legend, "Not
lost, but gone before"


Then he got the village newspaper to
put an obituary notice Of him in type and
he told his wife that he would be graft
fed il she would come out in the spring
and plant violets on his grave. lie said
1t was hard to leave her and the children,
but she must try and bear up under it,
These Affections are for our own good,
and when he was an angel he would come
and watch over her, and keep his eye on
her. He said she might marry again if
she wanted to, for, although the mere
thought Of it nearly broke his heart, he
wished her above all to be happy and
have some one to protect her from the
rude world. Then he and Mrs. Keyser
aud the children cried, and Keyser as a
closing word of counsel, advised her not
to plow the corn earlier than the middle
of March.


On the night Of the 18th of January
there was flood in the creek, and Key
ser got up at four o'clock on the morn.
ing Of the 18th, and worked until night
trying to save his buildings and his wood
pile. He was so busy that he forgot all
about its being the day Of his death, and
as he was very tired. he went to bed
early and slept soundly all night.


About six o'clock on the morning Of
the 18th there was ring at the door.bell.
Keyser jumped out of bed, threw up the
window and exclaimed:


"Who's there ?"


"lt's me-TOombs, the undertaken"


"What do you want at this time of
the morning ?" demanded Keyser.


"Want !" said Toombs, not recognizing
Keyser. "Why I've brought around the
ice to pack Keyser in, SOS he'd keep un.
til the funeral. The corpse'd spoil this
kinder weather if we didn't.


Then Keyser remembered, and it made
him feel mad when he thought how the
day had passed and left him still alive,
ana now liz ~ made u 1901 VI ni,nnvif.
So the corpse said


"Well. you can just skeet around home
again with that ice the corpse is not
dead. You're eetle too anxious, it
strikes me. You're not goin' to chuck
Inc into sepulchrc yet, if you have got
everything ready. So you can haul of
and unload.


About half past ten that morning the
deacons came around with Grape on their
hats and gloom on their faces, to carry
the body to the grave, and while they
were on the front steps the marble yard
man drove up with the rosebud tomb.
stone and shovel and stepped in to ask
the widow how deep she wanted the
grave dug. Just then the choir arrived
with the minister, and the company was
assembled in the parlor, when Keyser
came in from the stable, where he had
been dosing a horse with patent medicine
and warm mash for the glandeIs. He
was surprised, but he proceeded to ex.
plain that there had been little mistake
somehow. lie was also panied to find
that everybody seemed to be good deal
disappointed, particularly the tom bstone
man, who went away mad, declaring that
such an old fraud ought TO be rammed
into the ground anyhow, dead or alive
Just as the deacons lett in huff the
iailor's boy arrived with the burial suit
and before Keyser could kick him off the
steps the paper carrier flung into the
door the Morning Argus, in which that
obituary occupied prominent place.


Anybody who wants good, reliable
tombstone that has broken rosebud OIL
it, and that has never been used, can buy
one of that kind at a sacrifice FOR cash
from Keyser. lie thinks that bad dream
must have been caused by eating too
much sausage at supper.