Year: 1872

! One Winter evening n country store
keeper in the Green Mountain State was
about closing up for the night, and while
standing in the snow outside, putting up
the window shutters, saw through the
glass lounging fellow within, grab a
pound of fresh butter from the shelf and
conceal it in his hat.


The act was no sooner detected than
the revenge was hit upon, and very few
minutes found the Green Mountain store
keeper at once indulging his appetite for
fun to the fullest extent, and paying off
the thief with n facetious sort of torture,
for which he would have gained a premi-
um from the old Inquistion.


81 say, Seth" said the store-kecper,
coming in and closing the door after him,
slapping his hand over his shoulders and
stamping the snow of his feet.


Seth had his hand on the door, his hat
on his head, and the roll OF butter in his
hat, anxious to make his exit as soon rs
possible.


81 say, Seth, sit down; | reckon now
on such cold night MS this, little of
something warm would not hurt fellow


Seth felt very uncertain; he had the
butter and was exceedingly anxious to be
off, but the temptation of something warm
sadly interfered with his resolution to go.
This hesitation, however, was soon settled
10y the right owner of the butter taking
Seth by the shoulders and planting him
in n seat close to She stove, where he was
in such n manner cornered in by boxes
and barrels that, while the grocer stood
before him, there was no way OF getting
out, and right in this place the store
keeper sat down.


"Seth, we'll have a little warm Santa
Cruz" said the Green Mountain grocer ;
so he opened the stove door and stuffed
in as many sticks as the place would ad-
nit; without it you might freeze going
home such "A night as this"


Seth already felt the butter settling
down closer to his hair, and he jumped
UP ucClUlllS HC HluSt So'


"Not till you have something warm,
Seth. Seth, come, I've got n story to
tell you," and Seth was again rushed into
his seat by his cunning tormentor.


"Oh it's so hot here" said the petty
thief, attempting to rise.


"Sit down-don't be in such hurry"
retortcd the grocer, pushing hlm back in
his chair.


But I've got the cows to fodder, and
the wood to split, and | must be going"
said the prosecuted chap.


But you mustn't tear yourself away,
Seth, in this manner. SIT down, lot the
cows take care of themselves, and keep
yourself cool; you appear to be little
fidgety," said the rogush grocer with n
wicked lcer.


The next thing was the production Of
two smoking glasses of hot toddy, the
very sight Of which, in Seth's present
situation, would have made the hair
stand erect upon his head had it not been
we'll oiled and kept down by the butter.
"Seth, will give you toast, now, and
you can butter it yourself" said the gro
Ger, with an air of such c0nsummate sim
plicity that poor Seth believed himself
unsupported. Seth here's Christmas
goose we'll roasted, ell ! tell you it's
the greatest eating in creation. And
Seth, don't you use hogs fat, or common
cooking butter to baste it with; come,
take your butter-I mean Seth, take your
toddy,"


Poor Seth now began to smoke, as well
as melt, and his mouth was hermetically
sealed up, as though he had been born
dumb Streak after streak Of the butter
came pouring from under his hat, and
his handkerchief was already soaked with
the greasy overflow. Talking away as il
nothing was the matter, the fun-lOving
grocer kept stufIing wood into the stove,
while poor Seth sat upright, with his back
against the counter, and his knees touch
ing the red-hot furnace before him.


Cold night, this" said the grocer.
"Why Seth, you seem TO perspire as il
you were warm. Why don't you take
your hat Off? Here, let me put your hat
away"


mo-" exclaimed poor Seth, at last
"No, | must go, let me out, amt we'll
let me CO."


A greasy cataract was now pouring
down the poor mans face and neck, and
soaking into his clothes, and trickling
down his body into his boots, so that he
was literally in perfect bath Of oil.


"Wcll, good night, Seth" said the
/ humorous Vermonter, "if you will CO."
and adding, as he dartcd out of the door,
81 say, Seth, / reckon the fun | have
had out of you is worth nine-pencc, 50 |
shan't charge you for that pound Of but
ter in your hat"