smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1876

reported on 8 morning newspaper three
years, and It was pretty hard work. But !
enjoyed its attractions. Reporting is the
best school in the world to get knowledge
OF human beings, human nature and human
ways. A nice, gentlemanly reporter-l
make no diference-is we'll treated BY
everybody. Just think of the wide range
of his acquaintanceship, his experience OF
life and society. No other occupation
brings man into such social relations with
all the grades and classes of people, The
last thing at night-he goes browsing
around after items among the police and
jailbirds in the lookup, questioning the pris-
oners, and making pleasant and lasting
friendships among some Of the worst peo-
pie in the world. And the very next even
ing he gets himself up regardless of cost,
puts on all the good clothes bis friends have
got, and takes dinner with the Governor or
Commander in Chief of the district, the
United States Senator, and some of the up
per crust of society. He is on good terms
with all of them, and is present at every
gathering, and has easy access to every va
riety of people. Why l breakfasted almost
every morning with the Governor, diped
with the principle clergyman and slept in
the station house. 1


A reporter has to lie little, of course, or
they would discharge him. That is why
left it. am different from Washington
have grander and and higher standard of
principle. Washington could not lie.
can lie, but won't. Reporting is fascinat-
ing, but then it is so distressing to have to
lie so. Lying is bad-lying is very bad.
Every individual knows that by experience.
think that for q man to tell a lie, when
he cannot make anything by It, is wrong.


The family Of Samuel Gray had reunion
and GRAND surnrisa meeting at his residanca
Year: 1876

MARRIED BUT NOT MARRIED. When
james Parton married his step daughter
he did not know that he was violating
the laws Of the State in which he lives.
but when he discovered that he was a law
breaker he at once sought separate quar-
ters and petitioned the Legislature to e-
galize his marriage, which no doubt it
will do. Remarking on this case, the
Graphic says


"Ths curious case is one of many il
lustrations of the confusion which exists
in our laws and usages respecting marriage
and divorce. The existing legislation on
these subjects is hodge podge. Each
State in the Union has different laws on
these subjects from all the others. People
removing from one State to another vio-
late law without knowing it, and, like
Mr.. Parton, find themselves married but
not married at one and the same time
People who cannot get divorced in one
State step over the line into another and
are separated without difficulty. In one
State marriage is sacrament and binds
till death, unless one party or the other
is guilty Of some criminal conduct in
the next State 1t is merely q business
partnership, and can be terminated in
six months on almost any pretext In
one State anybody can NARY anybody,
and no questions are asked for conscience
sake in another State there are persons
it is illegal to marry. The laws on these
all important social relations are a tissue
Of confusions, and lead to a deal of diff
Guilty, abuse and wrong. And now that
our new railway facilities bring the sew
eral States so close together and increase
the amount of travel and migration, it
has become a matter of the utmost impor-
tance to have uniformity oflegslation
on these points. There certainly should
be general marriage and divorce law
for the whole Union, whose terms are so
simple and specific that everybody can
understand and obey them, and there
will be no such thing as being married
and not married at the same time"
Year: 1876

A TEXAS LUNATIC.-Some months ago
a large and powerfully built man went
into the office Of Judge Smith, of Austin,
Texas, and asked the Judge to send him
to a lunatic asylum. The man said he
was dangerous madman, and not fit to
be running around loose. His appear
ance of blunt candor did not convince the
Judge, and he told the man he could do
nothing for him. The man went his way.
The other day he visited the office again,
and the Judge recognized him. There
was another man, Mr.. Denton, also in
the office, and it was we'll he was. Judge
Smith asked the visitor what he could do
for him, and the visitor drew long knife
and told the Judge he had come TO kill
him. Now, big knife drawn in the
hand of a big man in Texas means some
thing. The Judge grasped his heavy
cane and Denton picked up the chair.
There was lively scufile, at the end OF
which several chairs were broken, the
cane was splintered, and the man with
the knife was lying on the floor with a
bleeding head. This time the Judge
thought the man was mad enough TO send
to the lunatc asylum, and he sent him
accordingly.
Year: 1876

After dinner the boarders gathered in
the parlor and told of their experiences.
Magruder, who is by big odds the great
est talker in the house, took half an hour
to tell the following story


AT a house where l was living last
year, in Thirty-ninth street, there was n
boarder who excited great curiosity. He
came from Egypt and his name was We
nyxter. One morning when we were
standing on the back porch, he took a
three -cornered seed from his pocket and
thrust it into flower-pot on the rail. In
less than FIVE minutes it had sprouted
about six feet high, stalk like sun
flower One of the boarders hung his hat
on it for jest. He turned moment to
call attention to the feat, ard when he
faced about again the hat was beyond his
reach the stalk had grown six feet in as
many seconds. 1t was still growing when
the boarders went down town, and when
they came back to dinner they saw the
stalk up above the roof of the house with
several twists around the chimney, and
sticking up above it like lightning rod,
with the rash mans hat still on the end. "


" With one exception" said Mr.. Ma
guftin, looking hard at Magruder, "the
biggest liar ever knew lived in the same
house with me once in Thirty eighth
street. He came from Abyssinia, and
his name was Gigyxter. And l may add
that, present company always excepted,
he was the longest man / ever
knew. Talk ? He would talk by the
hour and bore the boarders, and after he
had driven two men crazy the laadlady
secluded him somewhat by making him
take his meals alone at separate table.
But he would keep up his clatter, lighting
on people in the halls and in their rooms.
and when he had exhausted everybody
he would go to his room and talk to him.
self.


Zone night the boarding house was
burned down. Gigyxter lost his life, and
in saving two ladies who roomed on the
top floor | got the scar which you see
here. [Maguffin brushed the hair off his
forehead, revealing slight scratch. j
Suspicion fell on poor servant who had
been discharged the day before, and he
was locked up in the Tombs on circum-
stantial evidence that looked dead against
him. But after the inquest, enlightened
by the testimony of those who roomed
next to Gigexter, that he had been heard
talking rapidly for an hour before the fire
broke out, the surgeons again examined
the Abyssinan's remains and proved be-
yond doubt the innocence Ct the servant
by showing conclusively that Gigyxter's
continuous talking had made SO much
friction in his jaws that it set his head
a-fre, the flames communicated to the
room, the house went down and Gigyxter
went up, beyond all doubt the first re-
corded case of the man who was talked
to DEATH"


" Magullin," said Magruder, soothing
ly laying his hand on his friends head,
| wouldn't talk any more nowif were
you. Your head is quite hot already. p
NeaO York Sun.
Year: 1876

A GOLD EATER.-Lucy II. Hooper, in
the Philadelphia Press, tells the following
story Of gold eater,wh came near pay
ing for his folly with his life. He laid a
wager one day that he could swallow one
hundred and twenty francs in gold. The
wager was accepted, the money, in ten
franc (S2) pieces, was absorbed, and the
foolish man soon became so i'll that he
was transported to the hospital. There
an active course oftreatment soon brought
TO light eleven of the twelve gold pieces
but the twelfth remained obstinately hid
den. An abscess forming in the larynx,
its whereabouts was revealed in some
what dangerous fashion. All efforts for
its removal proved fruitless, and a total
extinction of voice ensued. The other
day, during a violent fit of coughing, the
abscess broke, and the ten franc piece was
coughed up. In the midst of his relief
the ungrateful scamp was furious because
the hospital authorities insisted upon re-
turning the coin to its lawful owner, and
would not permit him to keep it.
Year: 1876

THE CONFEDERATE TREASURES.-A
writer in the Atlanta Constitution tells
a curious story concerning the fate Of the
money in the hands of Davis and the
high officials of the Confcderacy after
they left Richmond. The fugitives halted
in Georgia, near the Savannah River,
and it was resolved to make an equal di-
vision of the amount in the treasury,
something over$100 900 in gold and silver,
which gave to each officer and man
$2S. %. But there had also been carried
off from Richmond 100000 of funds
belonging to the Virginia Bank, and
this was an immense temptation to the
defeated and separate soldiers. 1t was
in charge Of some bank officials, and was
stored for few days at Washington,
Wilkes County, in Georgia. After the
country had become somewhat quiet, the
officials started to return North with the
money. Some of the ex-Confederates
who were idling around the neighborhood
heard of the wealth and laid their plans
to capture it. About a dozen of them,
dressed in Federal uniforms, rode up to
the small guard accompanying the treas
urc, and demanded its surrender in the
name ofthe United States Government,
claiming to be acting under orders from
General Stoneman. 1t was handed over
to them and they made off with it. But
one Of the party was tempted to display
some of the money in town near by,
and as the fact Of the robbery had be-
come known, the possessor of such a rare
thing as gold or silver at that time was
Immediately suspected Of being in the
transaction. When arrested, he confessed
and disclosed the names of the whole
party. The greater par; of the money
was recovered but two or three of the
men could never be found, and we're sup
posed to have gotten off successfully
with their share Of the plunder.
Year: 1876

Special Dispatch 10 the Gazette.


WAsHINGToN, ,December3.-Hon.Ab A branl
$. Hewitt had an Interview with the Presi-
dent to-day. II lasted two hours. They
fully, freely and frankly discussed the
whole situation. Mr.. Hewitt says that he
is only at liberty to state that the President
himself is astonished that anybody, even
the most violent partisan, should attribute
to him any other than the most patriotic
intention. He especially and emphatically
disclaimed any intention on his part to as
sumo or exercise any other power than that
vested in him by the constitution, and that
an statements about his declarations as to
who was or was not elected President were
without any foundation whatever.


He further said that he was fully aware
that the country would not stand any at
tempts to defeat the will Of the office of
President If there were doubts in the public
mind about his fair and legal election.
Mr. Hewitt said that the conversation be-
tween himself and the President was entire
ly satisfactory, but that he is not at liberty
to state in detail what occurred; but IL the
President authorizes linn he will gladly
make public an account as full as his rec
objection Of what transpred will permit.
Year: 1876

The Nation, in long and well writ
ten article urges that il is the duty of
some of the Republican Electors to vote
for BRIsTow for President and thus take
the election out Of the hands of negro
Returning Boards; save the country from
the terrible agitation and the Electoral
College system from the attacks which
are being made upon it by the Radical
press and inferentially upon the wise men
who formed it.
Year: 1876

Mr.. Morrison made a very plausible
speech in favor of his tariff bill in the
House yesterday, from which copious ex-


tracts will be found in another column.


The theory of a revenue tariff which lie
advances might do very well If our labor
was all proftably employed in the produc-
tion of articles to exchange for the i'm
mense importations which he anticipates
from the adoption Of his bill. But as it is,


with but little surplus production at home,


we shall be Obliged to forego the luxuries
of foreign lands until our own industries
revive. Mr.. Morrison's is the free trade
theory, and carried out to its logical con-
clusion would result in the abrogation of
all duties regardless of the policy of other
nations toward US. For the present. legis-
lation should be directed to the fostering
and employment of our own labor. In
stead of any attempt at this, the present
Democratic House has used every en-
deayor to deprive as many poor lsborers of
Government employment as possible by
cutting down appropriations, reducing the
number of workmen and cutting down the
wages of those who may remain to starvs-
tion rates. And now Mr.. Morrison pro-
poses to compensate them by letting
in foreign luxuries at q lower rate
Of duty. What bare poor starving
Year: 1876


latorers to do with luxurisst They
are asking for bread. They are asking for
cheap freIghts, by which bread may be
cheapened. They are ssking for employ
ment in the construction of cheaper routes
of transportation from the grain fields Of
the West to the seaboard, so that a home
demand for grain and bread may be built
up. They care not how cheap foreign
goods are if they have no money to buy.
They care not how high prices are if they
can have labor at wages in proportion. 1t
is the stagnation of labor to which they OBJ
ject. And this Democratic, eK-Confederate
House has done and is doing all it can to
add to the prevailing depression. 1t is no
time to talk of that free trade which in
wolves direct taxation, when men are fight
ing battle against the ravages Of hunger.
Give the people the means to obtain the
bread and meat of the West before you
provide for cheap foreign goods, which
are notnecesssry to their existence, and
which they have no money to buy.
Year: 1876

THE Confederates of the House went


back on themselves last night in the caucus
for Doorkeeper, to succeed Fitzhugh. They
voted want of confidence in ex- Confeder-
ates, and deserted the South entirely by
rejecting Col. Polk, of Missouri, and nomi-
mating Col. Patterson, of New Jersey. This
will not help them much. They feel sure
of Missouri in the fall election, and hope by
this grand stroke of policy to secure New
jersey. But the insignificant bribe will be
Year: 1876

SHALL the administration of the Govern
ment pass into the hands OF the ex-Con-
federstes? This is the paramount ques-
tion. Ifa Democratic President is chosen
by Southern votes, can he refuse to do the
bidding of the Southern States? Can he
refuse to select his Cabinet from their lead
ing men? Can he reject the leading fea-
lures of their policy, as foreshsdowed in
the present House? OF course not. He
will be in their hands like clay in the hands
of the potter, to be moulded at their will.
Year: 1876

clang and clash with the din Of industry, and
the great naval repositories swarm with work.
men and new material Now and then the
click, click, of the electric cable tells US that
the sipcace of Europe is undisturbed." Sim.
ultaneous with that click the hammer of the
mechanic imbeds the strong nail deep into the
colossal form of some sea monster of war.
Simultaneous, also, with the flash of the cleo
trio spark the rattle of musketry is heard in
the mountain Businesses and on the plains of
Bosnia and Herzegovina. Is this peace ,
Does warlike preparation mean peacea Does
increasing the army, enlarging the navy,
strengthening Notifications, mean peacei If
so, then Europe is reclining in the arms of
gentle and happy quietude, full of promise
and unconcern.
Year: 1876

NOT WORTH WHILE Blue pills, phil
osophy, moral reforms ! Let them all
alone, friend you need good strong
dose Of common sense much more Don't
lament over the things that go wrong ;
if you only knew it, you could spend your
time much more proftably In rejoicing
over the things that go right. Your face
would shorten full quarter Of yard, if
you could just draw dividing line be-
tween the matters that are not worth
while and those that are. 1t is not worth
while to trouble yourself about the naugh-
ty things the world says of you, as long
as you know they are false. 1t is not
worth while to fret because your neighbor
is growing rich by dishonest means, while
is not worth while to wear broadcloth
when you can scarcely indulge in home
spun-it is still less worth while TO ask
the worlds advice as to what you are to
eat and how you are to live. 1t is not
worth while TO look for the root of a
slander whose topmost buds will wither
in brief space of time. 1t is not worth
while to mourn the absence of things you
haven't got and can't get. 1t is not worth
while to think of committing suicide be-
cause you made an unsuccessful venture
in trade. 1t is not worth while TO cult
vate the acquaintance of people who like
you in proportion to the length Of your
purse, or to feel disturbed when they
desert you. 1t is not worth while TO live
for the benefit of your neighbors, instead
of the comfort of your family. 1t is not
while to surrender your originality and
spirit of independence for fear Of being
called, by some ninny who is cut out of
the same pattern as FIVE hundred others,
"a little odd" 1t is not worth while to
make great show and glitter, and find
at the eleventh hour that you have neg
lected TO secure the wherewithsl OF love,
and truth and faith, to carry you safely
across the dark river.
Year: 1876

NAPOLEON AND JosEPHINE.-Napo-
leon married Josephine in 1886, she being
then thirty-three years old and he twenty
seven. The marriage was fortunate one
Tor him, as his own words testify. "The
circumstance of my marriage with Mad
anne de Beauharnais," he says, "placed
me on proper footing with the party
necessary to my plan of fusion, one of
the first principles Of my administration.
Without my wife, l should never have
! established any natural relation with that
class" Another declaration of his agrees
perfectly with this idea :" win only
battlcs-Josephine wins me all hearts. :"
1t was proud boast of Josephine's that
she never kept any one waiting half a
minute where punctuality depended upon
herself ; but this quality of refined breed
ing was signally wanting in Napoleon
| When the established hour for dinner at
Malmaison was six o'clock, and though
etiquette forbade anyone to approach the
table before the announcement of the
head of the house, he often failed to ap-
pear before seven, eight, or even ten
O'Clock. A chicken or some other article
was placed on the spit every fifteen min
utes, by order of The cook, who knew
well the habits of the Emperor. The
table manners of Napoleon may have
been those of the hero they we're GER
tainly anything but those of the gentle
man. He completed the process of cram
mng-it could scarcely be called eating
in six or seven minutes, as a rule
Ignoring the use of knives and forks as
regarded his own plate, he did not stop
there, but but helped himself with his
fingers from the dishes nearest him, and
dipped his bread in the gravy. Knowing
the time necessary for the Emperor to
dine, the shrewder ones took care to dine
in advance. Josephine once confessed
this at the dinner-table, much to the
amusement of the Emperor. The EN-
press always quilted the table with Ma
poleon but with her never failing CON
sideraton for the comfort of others, she
commanded the rest, with gesture as
she rose, to remain.
Year: 1876

AvARICE.-It stsrves its keeper to sur
felt those who wish him dead and make,
him submit 10 moro notifications TO lose
heaven, than the martyr undergoes TO
gain it. Avarice is passion full of para
doX, q madness full Of method for, al
though the miser is the most mercenary
of all beings, yet he serves the worst
master more faithfully than some Chris
tisns do the best, and will take nothing
for it. He falls down and worships the
god Of this world, but will have neither
its pomps. its vanities, nor its pleasures,
for his trouble. He begins to accumu-
late treasure as a means 10 happiness, and
by common but morbid association, he
continues 10 accumulate it as an end, He
lives poor to die rich, and is the mere
jaiier of his house and turnkey OF his
wealth. Impoverished by his gold, he
slaves harder to imprison it in his chest,
than his brother slave to liberate it from
the mine. The avarice of the misor may
be termed the grand sepulcher of all his
other passions, as they successively decay.
But unlike other tombs, it is enlarged by
repletion and strengthened by age.
Year: 1876

STARING DEATH IN THE FACE. Tho
Scranton Republican, Of December 2lth
has the following: "The passengers on u
train on the Lehigh and Susquohanna
Railroad yesterday were startled by tho
thrilling situation Of young woman
upon the track little way from Pitt5ton
Station. 1t tappears that she was walking
along the road and by some mishap had
her foot caught between two rails. This
in the presence of an approaching train
made her position most alarming. She
white with terror, pulled at her foot with
all her might, and struggled 10 free her
self from what seemed 10 her fearful
fate. AT length, as the train approached
nearer, she managed, by a superhuman
effort, 10 tear her foot away from between
the fatal rails, leaving the shoe that had
been on it behind, and Fastening away in
sheer exhaustion from the spot. We
could not learn her name, but those who
witnessed the incident will long remem-
Der that woman's agony as she seemed
to stare death in the face"
Year: 1876

THERE was melancholy looking man
in town last week, selling book entitled
"The Sinfuness of Divorce" and some
young scamps sent him to the house OF II
lady in tho Fourth Ward, who has been
divorced from two husbands on the
grounds of her violent and ungovernable
temper. While the sad-loo1ing agent
went to the house by one street, the wags
went by another to see him enter the
house. He remained about II minute,
and then came out in hurry, pursued
by a stick OF stove wood, fire shovel,
Bible, hymn book and spittoon.--
Then those wicked wags adjournei to
Collins and took hot Scotch,
Year: 1876

SIX months ago as a young lady was
riding on a Detroit street car she handed
her nickle TO young man with red
necktie. Their fingers touched-eyes
Observation-Disclosures, and last evening
they were married. Incidents like this
are happening almost daily in this city,
but the papers seldom mention them out
Of sympathy for the street car horses. -
DetrOt Free ireSS.
Year: 1876

RAILROADS LOOKING UP.-The
American Railroad Journal gives


figures showing that nearly all the
railroads are making money. Few
new defaults are to be chronicled,
and railroads in good standing are
still the safest customers to which,
our banks can lend their surplus,
and it is thought that the banks can
do no better with the idle funds
than to lend to railroads doing a
Legitimate carrying business until
trade takes new start. The year
has witnessed a wholesale and
wholesome liquidation of broken
down roads Several have been
Year: 1876

length commensurate with his elas--
tic conscience Following the In
junction of st. Paul, he will not
swear at all, but will gather his
special forces and concentrate them
upon the head and tail of our poor
unoffenSiye canal Ahl if he was
like another George Washington,
who couldn't tell lie, perhaps it
would be better for himself and for
history.


In due course the interest OF Du-
luth will be attended to, by the
counsel in the case, as well as by
the able counsel, Geo. HI. Gray, Esq,
in behalf Of the Northern Pacific
Railroad Company; and our citi-
zens need have but little apprehen-
sion of danger to our canal aud our
commerce when the suit is finally
decided.