Year: 1870

snorting that I could not hear myself
think for the disturbance; and as long as
it held out, there was not a watch in the
land that stood any chance against it.
But the rest of the day it would keep on
slowing down and fooling along until all
the clocks it had left behind caught up
again. So, at last, at the end of twenty
four hours it would trot up to the judges
stand all right and just on time. 1t would
show fair and square average, and no
man could say it had done more or less
than its duty. But correct average is
only a mild virtue in a watch, and 1
took this instrument to another watch
maker. He said the kingbolt was bro
ken. I..said was glad it was nothing
more serious. To tell the plain truth, l
had no idea what the kiHgbolt was, but
do not choose to appear ignorant to
stranger. He repaired the kingbolt, but
what the watch gained in one way it
lost in another. 1t would run awhile
and then stop awhile, and then run
awhile again, and so on, using its own
discretion about the intervals. And
every time it went off it kicked back
like musket. padded my breast for
a few days. but finally took the watch
to another matchmaker. He picked it
all to pieces and turned the ruin over
and over under his glass, and then he
said there appeared to be something the
matter with the hair-trigger. He fixed
it, and gave it fresh start. 1t did well
now, except that always at ten minutes
to ten the hands would shut together
| like pair of scissors, and from that time
forth they would travel together. The
Oldest man in the world could not make
head or tail of the time of day by such a
watch, and SO L went again to have the
thing repaired. The person said that
the crystal had got bent and that the
handspring was not straight. He also
remarked that part of the works needed
halfsoling. He made these things all
right, and then my timepiece performed
unexceptionably, save that now and
then, after working along quietly for
nearly eight hours. everything inside
would let go all of sudden and begin to
buzz like a bee, and the hands would
straightway begin to spin round and
round SC fast that their individuality
was lost completely. and they simply
seemed delicate spiders web over the
face of the watch. She would reel off
the next twenty-four hours in six or
seven minutes, and then stop with q
bang. 1 went with a heavy heart to one
more matchmaker, and looked on while
he took her to pieces. Then prepared
to cross-question him rigidly, for this
thing was getting serious. The watch
had cost two hundred dollars originally
and 1 seemed to have paid out two or
three thousand for repairs. While 1
waited and looked On, presently recog-
.nized in this matchmaker an old ac-
quaintance-a steamboat engineer OF
other days, and not good engineer
either. He examined all the parts care
fully, just rs other watchmaksrs had
done, and then delivered his verdict with
the same confidence of manner.


He said:


| "She makes too much steam-you
want to hang the monkey-wrench on the
safety-valve!"


L Drained him on the spot, and had
him buried at my own expense.


My uncle William (now deceased,
alasD used to say good horse was good
horse until it had run away once, and
that good watch was good watch un-
til the repairers got chance at it. And
he used to wonder what became of all
the unsuccessful tickers, and gunsmiths,
and shoemakers, and blacksmiths, but
nobody could ever tell him.


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