smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1876

A swINDLER in Chicago, during the
recent great fair, dressed in home
spun clothes, made the acquaintance
Of farmers at hotels, and fooled them
in a new way. After inviting a VIC
tim to take walk, he remarked that
sharpers were plenty, and they had
better leave their pocket-books with
the clerk. He displayed filled
wallet the victim handed over his.
and both were tied together and left
with the clerk, the swindler taking a
check, with which he soon returned
and got all the money,
Year: 1876

A rustic individual came to London
by train to witness the reception of the
Prince of Wales. A man who had come
in the same third class carriage with him
admonished this rustic when they were
parting just outside the London station
that he should be very careful of his
money, as many thieves would be in the
crowd. "Oh," said the rustic, emo
bodyll get my money; have only one
pound, and mean to keep that in my
mouth" This remark was overheard
by one of the small but clever street
boys, who watched his opportunity, and
when the honest countryman had got
few hundred yards on his way suddenly
scattered few pennies on the ground
before him and begun to pick them up
again, crying to the rustic as he did so ::
You gimmo that sovrin - The rustic
looked bewildered. "You gimme that
sovrin," shouted the small boy. "I
seen you pick it UP and put it in your
mouth" A crowd begun to collect and
asked the boy what was the matter.
"Why," cried the little rogue, "I was
agoin long with one pun sixpence in my
hand, carryin' it to mother, n somebody
run agin me an knocked it all on the
ground, II this man he took up the
soyrin, an I seen i'm put it in is mouth. I"
The astonished rustic attempted to ex-
plain, but his voice was thick; some
thing plainly was in his mouth, and an
honest British public forced him to dis
gorge. The poor rustic was glad to get
off without his pound and with whole
bones; the boy went off with the gold in
his pocket, and the honest British pub
lie distributed itself, each member
thereof satisfied that scoundrel had
been defeated in his attempt to rob n
small boy engaged i'll filially supporting
his aged mother.
Year: 1876

When our principal tar, Admiral Por-
ter, was presented to the emperor Of
Brazil, he said to his majesty L had
the honor of attending your wedding
before you did," The emperor enjoys q
joke, and was well pleased with this one,
which, paradoxical as it sounds, was
literally true. Donna Teresa. the en-
press, is Neapolitan princess, and was
married to Dom Pedro by proxy in Ma
pies. Admiral Porter, then young
officer, was with the United States feet
in the bay of Naples at the time. and
was present at the marriage. He was
also on one of our vessels which formed
part of the escort OF the bride out Of
the harbor. This vessel was on its way
to Rio, and reached the Brazilian cap
ital in time for Admiral Porter TO wit
ness the actual marriage of Dom Pedro
and his bride.
Year: 1876

When the Nicolai railway was con-
structed, in 1918, from st. Petersburg
to Moscow, the work was done under
contracts with American engineers, and


the cars and engines were supplied from


Baltimore by the famous establishment
of the Winans Brothers. The Russian
priests oppose every modern innovation,
and of course they were "down" ON the
railway. When the road was opened
they determined to stop it, and SO they
went in force to point on the road and
set up holy picture to stop the new
work of the devil. The train came
slowly along and the engineer seeing the
picture standing on the track thought
there must be O man behind it, and 80
came to halt. The assembled multi
tude raised shout and the priests
called out that the saint was all powerful
and would prevail against wickedness.


The officer in charge of the train came
out and took q survey of the situation.
Then he told the engineer to run back
a quarter of mile and bring the train
to halt. The shouting was redoubled
and the priests were in the most rap
turous delight. But their exultation
was soon changed to grief, as the mas
ter of ceremonies told the engineer:
Put on all steam and go ahead without
regard to consequences" The engine
went ahead and down fell the picture,
torn and crushed by the wheels of the
locomotive. Modern civilization was
triumphant, and the priests and their
followers no longer shouted in triumph.
Year: 1876

The twelve are selected who are to
practice together and supply from their
number the American team in the great
international rifle match. Among them
are three Of the victors at Dollymount.
Meanwhile the Scotch rifemen are main
tanning spirited contest among them
selves for places in one of the foreign
teams to take part in the Centennial
match. The rivalry displayed in Scot
land, Ireland, Canada and Australia, af
fords promise that oil these countries
will he represented in the United States
by their best marksmen.
Year: 1876

We hardly think it fair thing for our
lady friend to stop at the age of thirty
nine, as there are very few ladies who
have arrived at that age of single bless
edness from whose hearts have been ex-
tinguished hopes of ever seeing the
chosen one. No, indeed so long as
there is still an old bachelor left, we say
give the old maids chance, and don't
blame them for still clinging to hope.
Year: 1876

p We are sorry to learn from Mr..
Gardner, clerk Of registration, that
tie voters are not all turning out
promptly to register or have their GER
iiiicales revised. The ward clubs
should hunt up these delinquent voters
and insist on their registering. We
cannot afford to run the risk Of losing
the State by neglect or apathy.
Year: 1876

We can but stand and wait, and trust
That come there good, or come there i'll,
This year shall work His loving will
Whose will oil years of earth.life must;
That somehow all its hopes and fears,
Its peace and strife, its joy and pain.
Shall make TO our eternal gain;
So shall it be Happy Year!
Year: 1876

4 LONG REPORT COMING FROM THE LEGISLATIVE


CoMMITTEE-ABouuoN OF CANAL APPRAISERS


TO BE ADvIsED-A COURT OF CLAIMS AND


SINGLE HEAD TO THE CANALS


iBY TELEGRAPH TO TIE TRIBUsEl


Albany, Feb 29.-The Joint Legislative Com
mittee appointed to investigate the affairs OF the
Canals, met to-day and agreed upon their report,
which will probably not be presented to the Legisa
ture until next week, as several days will be re-
quired to get it into printed form. The report is
very long and elaborate, and will make number of
specific recommendations IN regard to both the great
sources Of frauds-the contract system and that OF
canal appraisers awards. With reference
TO the latter the findings of the Com
mittee are of greater interest, inasmuch as
they achieved much better results than
In the investigation of contracts which was more
over thoroughly explored by the Canal Commission.
The Committee will describe in detail certain cases
of alleged excess in awards as illustrations OF the
system. but will condemn OF vindicate no one by
name. They will recommend the abolition of the
Board of Canal Appraisers. and the creation of
Court of Claims which shall hear all claims against
the State including those arising from the canals
Senator Cole and Mr. Faulkner the heads of the two
branches of the Committee. will introduce stimuli
taneonsly bill providing for the formation of this
Court by the appointment by the Governor, by and
with the advice and consent of the Senate of three
iudees to serve ten years and to receive an annual
salary of $4,000.


The report will contain large array Of tables,
showing the amount of claims made against the
State under the system of appraisers and the awards
aud the fees paid to counsel for the State which the
Committee find to have been very large. They will
also exhibit the cost and income of the canals show
ing that with the exception of the laterals, they
have paid for themselves. They make no recon-
mendation with reference TO the laterals, as that
subject is not within the jurisdiction of the Com
mittee


With reference to the government of the canals
the Committee will recommend to adoption by the
people of the constitutional amendment providing
for single head to the canals, and will also advise
the transfer Of the power of Appointment of engineers
absolutely to the Engineer Department They will
recommend additional safeguards in the letting of
contracts requiring all estimates to be by actual
measurements, and to show the actual amount of
work to be done, and requiring the contract to be
let for a specific amount of work and not for an
undetermined quantity, as has been the system
Year: 1876

One evening, snys writer, saw n
crowd in front OF Paris restaurant, and
learned on inquiry that man had taken
his own life inside. 1t appeared that he
had installed himself iu n cabinet, !"
and ordered q regal repast, dwelling
with unction on each course. His repast
occupied n couple OF hours, aud when
coffee, cognac and cigars were furnished
toward the close OF it. he informed the
waiter that he would require nothing
else, aud he need not return until he
rang for him. About fifteen or twenty
minutes aiterward-the time to sip his
cognac and smoke Il cigar-the report OF
tirearm was heard proceeding from his
cabinet. On opening the door he was
found lying on the sofa dead, with n
smoking pistol at his side. On search
ing him, not sou was discovered in his
pockets. The inference was that being
nearly starved, he determined to regale
himself in sumptuous mapGer for
once, md then Cancelled this aud all
other debts by paying with his life. The
proprietor oi tho restaurant said he
would have willingly given him his din
ncr ii he had only killed himself else
where than on his premises. This was
the practical side OF the question. The
man who paid such price for his diu-
ncr was evidently disciple OF Brillat'
Savarin.
Year: 1876

The Battle Of Djunis-1 Genuine Sue


cess by the Turkish Aimy-3,00O Ser


ridns Deserted T. Hotc the Wounded


Prisoners icere Treated.


A correspondent of the London Tele-
graph writes ssThus they came on, and
presently opened so fearful rifle fire
that the bullets fell around us all like
hail. As yet our infantry were quiet ;
not rifle was heard, and the foe was
coming nearer to the semi-circular
trenches of which have before spoken.
Suddenly there is movement In the
bushes, a sharp note from the bugle, a
rattle of bayonets and steel barrels, and
then little cheer. Our men are moving;
the supports are taking the empty trenches
and the rest of each battalion is in the
reserve lines. All at once such fire
pours forth as envelopes you in smoke,
and makes that still advancing column
stagger. Yet only for a minute; there
is counter-cheer and a rapid rush.
Whirr! how the bullets fly past them
with what shrieks do the shells bound in.
See, the Servians are standing still for a
moment, firing yet, but coming no nearer
to the mountain. Their line is gradu-
ally being fed, too, and they are extend
ing every moment. 1t is only the fear oi
the shells and the bullets which makes
them hesitate. Perhaps not only the
fear, but rather the effect, for now they
are falling fast, and without the aid even
of glass we can see that they are strew-
ing the ground by hundreds or staggering
away to die. Harder than ever is our
fire, as theirs weaken, and more de-
termined, too, are our men, for they now
quit the outpost trenches and are ad-
vancing upon the bewildered enemy
Volley after volley from the foe fails to
stop them; they leave many a comrade
on the ground, but on they go, till at
length the Servians, seeing their red fezes
coming nearer and nearer, turn and fly:
deserting 5000 of their number, who will
never see home in Russia or on the
banks of the Danube any more. =
Not one was there but might have been
the hardy father of numerous family.
did not see a boy among them. One in
particular | noticed-and he was but a
type of the rest-a tall, well made broad
shouldered warrior, who. having fought
to his uttermost and received wound in
the stomach, had lain down upon the
road to Derbent in hope of succor. I'm
happily for him, friends were far away,
and his comrades had hung, in fantastic
fashion, on tree hard by, Circassian,
who, having fallen into their hands, had
been first tortured and put to death. /
was looking at him as rode by, wonder
ing If he were yet alive, when, horrible
to relate, there came upon the scene four
Chirkessoes. They, too, had seen their
hanging comrade, and they thirsted for
blood. At this moment the wounded
Serb raised his head and rolled his CLASSY
eyes round in hope of deserving help
Down sprang Circassian, and with a
little dagger pierced the dying man
through and through, cut off his right
hand and ripped him up as he lay upon
the ground. Fortunately his end wa:
near and he expired; but even in deatl
he was handsome giant, this victim tt
the barbarous war which Russia ha'
caused and waged.'
Year: 1876

INCOMPETENT GOVERNMENT ENDED
Carolina to the Cincinnati Commercial


Republican, says that the whites of
South Carolina are determined to gain
control of their own affairs, and that it
chamberlain is elected !.e will be as
harmless as a corns.alk to command
respect or enforce law unless he does it
through the federal power. Through a
republican, the writer expresses his can
did belief that Humpton's election will
be better for the colored people. His
word is law in South Corolina; he has
promised to protect them and can do 1T;
and word from him would quell any riot
in this State. "The days Of black gov
ernment here are ended" adds DR.. Red.
field, 'and next thing is to secure peace
and protection of life and property.
Year: 1876

THERE are other versions of the story
of Joseph and Potiphnr's wife than the
orthodox and generally accepted one.
The following is attributed to NJ. dc Les
seps When Potiphnr's wife was accused
by her husband Of having forgotten her
marital VOWS for the sake Of Joseph, she
attempted no denial, but merely said
that Joscph's beauty was SO great that
any other woman would have done the
same thing. This she offered to prove,
and having assembled all the young
ladies Of the Egyptian Court, she placed
them in row with their eyes turned to-
ward the door of the apartment. In the
hands of each girl she put an apple and
knife, and told them to cut the apple
when the signal was given. by prear-
raig mcnt the door suddenly opened,
and Joseph appeared in all his beauty
Potiphar's vie gave the signal at that
moment, and every girl save one, instead
Of cutting the apple, cut her hand. The
beauty Of Joseph had so dazzled them
that they were unable to take their eyes
off him. 1t is needless to say that there
was Il general feeling that Podphar's wife
was quite excusabIe. The girl who showed
her hands uncut, on being asked to ex
plain, said that the instant she saw Joseph
she felt that it was no longer safe for her
to hold the knife, and she therefore hurled
it from her before the signal to cut the
apple hud been given.
Year: 1876

THE huge bronze ball which supports
the cross on top Of St. Peters cupola at
Rome can easily contain thirteen persons
at once. Ii Summer its exterior is as
hot as an oven, and in Winter it needs
no stove for the comfort Of visitors. La
dies have an awtully jolly time getting
in and out Of it by means Of ladder ;
and as general thing they prefer not to
follow, but to precede their gentlemen es-
corts in the decent. From the square be-
low the gilded ball looks about the size
of pumpkin. Americans generally go
for il
Year: 1876

An indianapolis cat got to playing with
small turtle the other day, and was
having nice time tumbling it around,
when suddenly the turtles jaws closed on
the cats tail. There was some very live
ly tumbling then on the part of the cat,
to an accompaniment of her own selec-
ton. Two hours after she was seen ex-
amining that tail tenderly, evidently
wondering if the piece would grow out
again.
Year: 1876

Ir is said that in Chicago ladies faint
away in church in order that other ladies
may have chance to inspect their jew.
elry and make sure that it did not come
from the dollar store.
Year: 1876

Crazy Horse is not so crazy as
he might be. He has had enough
fighting and would like to be re-
conciled with the whites. We
suggest that an excellent precau-
ton against any further outbreak
of equine insanity would be-a
halter.
Year: 1876

of the North. The hard times fol
lowing the panic have made
them feel that you and they have
an interest and a welfare in com
mon: And in any just cause in
yolving your prosperity, you will
find reliable support as we'll III
the self-interest as in the justice
of the North.


Who among you can best help
IN the great work of building
up our national prosperity : All
classes can be helpful. The me
chanic who contrives aud con
structs aplow which, with the
same draft, will run one inch deep
er than the plow you have been
using or whose honest work will
make the old plow last season
longer the chemist who teaches
you the consistent elements Of
soils and plants on any soil the.
editor who gives his daily or his
weekly column to the records OF
experimental husbandry by which
the scientific few help to enrich
the many the intelligent expert
mentalist who tries the theories
Of student by the patient test of
practical experience !; the hus
badman who does an honest days
work in a fair days time ; the
careful housewife who may pos
sibly appear to make but little,
but who can and does save much
the upright legislator, who looks
rather to the honor of his coun
try and the interest of mis- con
stituents tnan to the exigencies
OF his party, aud by righteous
law protects your persons and
property ;the pure aud just Judge
whose heart and hands are clean
from all corruption, and whose
authority shelters rich and poor
and weak and strong alike /; the
unseltish and laboriOus executive.
who administers the laws for the
happiness and well being of the
people of the commonwealth /; all
these help you, but above all
Others those who make the laws
and those to whom their interpre
tatiOn and execution are c0nfid
ell.


Gambling speculatiOns may in
deed be prosperous when the ionn
dations of society are all uns. t.
tied but not 40 with the honest
pursuits aud productive arts OF
life. The agriculturist and mecha
mic can not pro sper under bad
laws, or under laws which are
dishonesty, unrighteouSly or par
TALLY administered. They can
not bear the burden of taxation
which inevitably falls upon them
when selt-seeklng and eruption
control public affairs. l believe
that the stability and sense of
security which are essential to
permanent prosperity requires
that our political institutions
shall be entirely restored, as well
in their spirit as in their form.
Our experience has established
the fact that they are peculiarly
adapted to Our condition and
wants as Il people. 1t must be-
settled so that it shall not again
be questioned that the powers
which belong to the States under
our form Of government shall be
exercised by the States without
any interference, intimitlations or
control from without. The Occa-
sion which has brought you to.
gether is in no respect political
or partisan, and | w0nld not by
a single word violate it's prOprie
ties. Intending > criticism upon
no one, | think l may properly
say that the recent history of this
city and State has shown that the
people can not labor and pursue
their avOcations with success
when disturbed and distracted
by conflicting Jurisdictions over
them."
Year: 1876

Experiments recently made in
England indicate that wagons
are most easily drawn on all
kinds OF road when the fore and
hind wheels are of the same size,'
anil when the pole lies lower than
the axle.
Year: 1876

C"rn.frd hens do not lay in the
winter for the simple reason
there is no albumen material in
the corn. When wheat is given
to them there is fat enough in it
to supply all that is needed for
the yoke, and albumen enough to
make the white and lime enough
to furnish the shell j; it does not
thus seem difficult to understand
why corn fed hens should not la>
as they do not. and why wheat
fed hens should lay, as they do,
Sci. American.
Year: 1876

What is the cure for gossip? Simply cul


ture. There is great deal of gossip that


has no malignity in it. Good-natured peo


pie talk about their neighbors because, and
only because, they have nothing else 10


talk about. As we write, there comes to


us the picture of a family of young ladies.


We have seen them at home, we have met


them in galleries of art, we have caught
glImpses OF them gQing from bookstore,
or library, with fresh volume in their
hands. When we meet them, they arc full
OF what they have seen and read. They
are brimming with questions, One tonic
OF conversation is dropped only to give
place to another in which they are inter.
ested.


We have left them, after a delightful
hour, stimulated and refreshed; and
during the whole hour not a neighbor's
garment was soiled by so much as a touch.
They had something to talk about. Thew
knewsomething and wanted to know more.
They could listen as we'll as they could talk.
10 speak freely of neighbofs doinrs and
belongings would have seemed an imperti.
nenee to them, and, of course, an impropri.
ETY.. They had no temptations to gossip.
because the doings of their neighbors
formed a subject very much less interesting
than those which grew out of their knowL
edge and their culture, And This tells tho
whole story, Che confirmed gossip is always
either malicious or ignorant. The one
variety needs a change of heart and the
other change of pasture. Gossip is always
a personal confession either of malioa ar
and the young should not only
shun it, but by the most thorough culture
relieve themselves from all.temptations to
indulge IN it, IL is low, frivolous, and too
often dirty business. There are country
neighborhoods in which il RACES like pest.
Churches are split ip pieces by it, Neigh
boFs @Fe made enemies by it for life, In
mY9apy persons il degenerates into chronic
disease, which is practically incurable.
bet the young cure it while they may
SeriJaer's Monthly.
Year: 1876

Other people have their faults,
And so have ye as well.
But all ye chance to see or hear
We have no right TO tell.


Ifye Gamma speak O good,


Take care, and see nae eel;


Earth hasan too much O. woe


And not enough o. veal
BE careful that We make nae strife
WI meddling tongue and brain,
For ye will find enongh to do
If you but look at hame.


Eye Gamma speak O. good,


Oh, dinna speak at all,


For there is grief and woe enough


On this terrestrial ball.
Ifye should feel like picking flaws.
Ie better go ween
And read the book that tells ye all
About the mote and beam.
Dmna lend a ready ear
To gossip or to strife,
Or, perhaps twill make for We
Nae funny thing oflife.
eh dinra add to Others woe,
Nor roek it with your mirth.
But give ye kindly sympathy
To suffering ones ofearth.