Year: 1871

III -
tions to other deluded females2 Again,
why is it that roosters crow and hens


only cackle2 The firso question. is


rather hard to answer, and | am afraid


that in your present uneducated state


il would be difficult Of satisfactory ex-


planation, but the second question has


been very clearly answered BY Professor


Greeley in small essay entitled What


| Know About Growing in which it is


stated that when the first rooster erowed


the hen Immediately clapped her wings


and crowed also; whereupon the rooster,


indignant at being initiated, and no


doubt fearful of being excelled, imme-


diately pounced upon her, and gave her


such q wiring of the neck as to cause a


Structure Of the larynx, from which she


never recovered;- sothat ever afterwards,


whenever she attempted to crow, the


sound degenerated into contemplate


cackle, and that all her descendants
were afflicted in the same way, and con-
sequently could never crow. The learned


Professor has moreover shown that the
structure was accidental and not ma
tural; by proper culture it would be
entirely removed, and hens could regain
their lost powers of voice, and soon


learn to crow as we'll as roosters, of
which ! will give you abundant evidence
by and by. 1ags y


There are now at the North two
schools of philosophy One is called
the Positive School, which looks to the
culture and training Of the males SO as
to enable and induce them to perform
all the functions and duties of the fe-
males. AS far as the sitting Matching,
feeding and nursing of the chickens are
concerted, this school is decided sue
cess, and the day is not far distant.when
these labors will be performed, almost
entirely by the rooslers, and then we
poor, down.trodden females will have
some time to look around and enjoy our
selves. But the grand object of this
school is to make the roosters lay eggs,
and here, regret to say that our sue
cess has not been quite so decided. Our
plan is to surround the pupil, and hen
peck him TO such degree as to deprive
him of all of his tail feathers and
larger. portion of his comb, and then to
feed him literally upon parched corn
and pulyerlzed oyster shells, and drive
him briskly up hill, The result as |
have Informed you, has not been entirely
satisfactory; but Mrs. DR.. Cackle, Of
Boston, the eminent hen chemist, after
a profound study Of the subject has
suggested the addition to the diet of
proper proportion of sulphur and 'gly-
cerine, and predicts that our success
will then be assured. This school looks
also TO the cultivation of the female voice
up TO the strength and coarseness of the
males. Growing schools have been estab-
lished all over New England, and now it
is a common thing there for hens to crow
as fercely and as Justify as roosters.


4" The other school is called. the Mega
tive School, or the Society for the Sup
preston Of Eggs, and here also we have
met with the most marked success; so
much so that the production of eggs by
the native New England hens has been
reduced from what it was formerly in the
ratio of eight TO three; that is to say
that where an uncultivated hen in old
times used to lay eight eggs, well edu-
Gated hen of the, present day only lays
three, and she doesn t lay them unless
she chooses. Ladies, that is what call
the march of intellect 1t is Plymouth
Rock sucking the poison from the great
social snake-bite. If we go on improv-
ing at that rate We shall soon stop lay
ing altogether, and then the roosters
will have to takeup or depend upon the
Drama Pootras, Cochin Chinas, Shang-
hais and other foreign breeds to keep up
the stock. $50 so


And now, ladies, allow me to give
You your first lesson in growing. Stand
up straight and turn your toes out, heads
up, and necks out to their full extent
now all clap your wings as do. And
there arose such an unearthly and uR
henly screech and yell that the rooster,
who was behind the barn and Won
dering what had become Of the
hensg rushed frantically to the spot,
and there he beheld the long-legged
intruders clapping their wings and
growing at The top of their bents.
He made one spring at the orator of
the day, caught her by the comb, and
dug his-spurs into her sides, pitched her
over and touseled her to such degree
that she hardly had enough feathers left
to cover her nalxedpess AS soon as she
could recover her breath and her tongue
she cried out Hold hold Mr.. Rooster,
arn't you ashamed of yourself to beat
lady in this way2 | thought you South
lern cocks were famous for your gal |
lantry and attentions to the fair sex,
and here you are beating lady almost
to death" - Lady, indeed y cried the
rooster, didn't hear you crOioiRg2 |
How was to know that you were LADY, |
L am sure you don't look like one; you |
look to me more like capon; now get
YOU gone, and if / ever catch any more |
Of you long, yellow-legged Boston She
males coming down here preaching hens |
rights and setting up growing schools |
I'll beat you within an inch of your
lives; clear out Sol


The long-legged descendant of the IL |
lustrious Biddy Hardshell, of Plymouth |
Rock, and her companion then scam
pered off, screaming at the top of their |
voices " Ku-Kluxl Ku-Kluxll Ku-Klux,
Klux, Klux, Kluxll waia


Count MoItke ON the German Sue
.I. cesSes.


Count Moltke says in a letter to the
poet Oscar Won Redwitz, who addressed
TO him his Song Of the New German



To the poet it is permitted to be prodi-
gal. He sows with full hands diamonds
and pears, the stars of heaven and the
flowers of earth, and in the same spirit
he bestows his praises In this sense
only can / receive your song comparing
me 10 the great men of the past These
have been great also in adversely, and
in adversely. We have had
but successes. Let it be called