Year: 1875

HOW THE OFFICE SOUGHT THE MAN.


From the New York Weekly.


Max Adeer has the following:


The predecessor OF our present Coroner, Bar
ney Maglnn, was man. named Walsh. He
was telling Inc The other day about the singu-
lar circumstances attending his election to the
Office


You know, said Mr.. Walsh, "that didn't
want that position. When they had talked OF
nominating me told them, says | Its of no
use; you needn't eiect me; m not going to
serve. D,you pose In, gong 10 give up re-
spectacle business TO become Il kind of State
body-snatcher? I'm down thIs post mortem
toolery anyway. When ii mans blowed up
with gunpowder and comes down in mince
meat IL don't interest me TO know what killed
him so you needn't make Inc Coroner, for
won't serve.


"Well, sir, do you believe that those fellows
persisted in nominating me the Republican
ticket; actually put me up as candidate? So
published letter declining the nomination !;
but they absolutely had the impudence to keep
me on the ticket and to hold mass meetings, at
which they made speeches in my favor. was
mad as thunder about it,, because it showed
such scand'lous disregard of II feelings; and
so chummed in with the Democrats, and for
about two months l went around to the Demo
cratic mass meetings and spoke against myself
and In favor OF the opposition candidate. |
thought had them for sure, because | knew
more about my own failings than those other
fellows did, and l enlarged upon them until l
made myself out-well, | heaped up the in
iquity until l used to 60 home feeling that |
was good deal wckeder sinner than l ever
thought was before. 1t did me good, too. |
reformed. I've been better man ever since


"Now, you'd thought people would a con
sidered me pretty fair authority for my own
unfitness for the office, but hope l may be
killed if the citizens of this county positively
didn't go to the polls and elect me by about 500
majority. was the worst cut up OF any man
you ever saw. had repeaters around at the
polls, too, voting for the Democratic candidate,
and paid four OF the judges to fasify the returns
so as to retHrn him. But it was no use the
majority was too big. They had me in a hole.
And on election night the Republican Execu-
tive Committee came round to serenade me,
and as soon as the band struck up opened on
them with shot gun and wounded the bass
drummer in the leg. But they kept on playing,
and after while, when they stopped, they
poked some congratulatory resolutions under
the front door, and gave me three cheers, and
went home. was never so annoyed in my life.


"Then they sent me round my certificate of
election; but refused to receive it, and those
fellows grabbed me and held me while Bill
Harmer rammed that certificate into my coat
pocket, and then they all quit. The next day
man was run over on the railroad, and they
wanted me to tend to him. But was mad, and
/ wouldn't. So what does the Sheriff do but
come here with gang of police and carry me
out there by force. And he scared up jury,
which brought in verdict. Then they want
ed me to take the fees, but l wouldn't touch
them. said l wasn't going to give my sane
ton to the proceedings. But of course it was
no use. / thought was living in a free coun-
try, but wasn't. The Sheriff drew the money
and got mandamus from the court, and he
came here one day while l was at dinner
When l said l wouldn't touch dollar of it, he
drew pistol and said if didn't take those
funds he'd blow my brains out. So what was
a man to do? resigned fifteen times, but some
how those designations were suppressed. l
never heard from them. Well, sir, at last
caved, and for three years l kept skirmishing
around, perfectly disgusted, meditatng over
folks that had died suddenly, and inquirng
about old dilapidated cadavers that were pick
ed up in various places.


"And do you know that on toward the end of
nay term they had the face to try to nominate
me again It's positive fact Those politi-
clans wanted me to run again said l was the
most popular coroner the county ever had said
that everybody liked my way of handling a
corpse, it was so full of feeling and sympathy,
and lot more slush like that! But what did
do? wasn't going to run any such risk again.
l wasn't going to submit to such despotsm as
that more'n orce anyhow. so l slid up to the
city, and the day before the convention met l
sent word down that 1 was dead circulated a
report that I'd been killed by falling off a fer.
ry boat. Then they hung the convention hall
in black and passed resolutions of respect, and
then they nominated Barney Maginn.


"On the day after the election l turned up,
and you never saw men look so miserable, SO
cut to the heart, as those politicians. They said
it was an infamous shame 10 play it on them
that way, and they declared that they d run M
for sheriff at the next election to make up for
it. If they do Pm going to move for good Pm
going to sail for Colorado, or some other decent
place, where they'll let man alone. III die
in my tracks before I'll ever take another Office
in this county. will, now mind me!''