Year: 1872

hVed many days in Newgate under the nt-


most horror; had death as it were in view


and thought of nothing night or day. but Of


glbbets and halters, evil spirits and devils; it


is not to be expressed how was harrassed


between the dreadful apprehensions of death,


and the terrors of my conscience reproaching


me with my past horrible life. The ordinary


OF Newgate came to me, and talked a little
In his way, but all his divinity run upon con-
tossing my crime, as he called it Though he


knew not what was in for), making a full
discovery, and the like, without which he
told me God would never forgive me; and he
said so little to the purpose that 1 had no
manner of consolation from him; and then to
observe the poor creature preaching confess
ion and repentance to me in the morning, and
find him drunk with brandy by noon, this
had something in it so shocking, that began
to nauseate the man, and his work too by de-
grees, lor the sake of the man; so that L de-
sired him to trouble me no more


know not how it was. but by the indefa-
tigable application of my diligent goyerness L
mad no bill preferred against me the first ses-
sion, mean to the grand jury, at Guildhall;
so had another month or five weeks before
me, and without doubt this ought to have
been accepted by me as so much time given
me for reflection upon what was past, and
preparation for what was to come l ought TO
have esteemed it as space given me for re-
pentance, and have employed it as such; but
it was not in me. was sorry, as before, for
being in Newgate, but had few signs ofrepen-
tance about me. On the contrary, like the
water In the hollows of mountains, which
petrifies and turns into stone whatever they
are suffered to drop upon so the continual
conversing with such crew of hell-hounds
mad the same common operation upon me as
upon other people; 1 degenerated into stone.
turned first stupid and senseless, and then
british and thoughtless, and at last raving
mad as any of them; in short / became as
naturally pleased and easy with the place at If
indeed l had been born there.


1t is scarce possible to imagine that our ma
ture shonld be capable of so much degenera-
cy, as to make that pleasant and agreeable,
tnat In ITSELF is the most complete misery.
Here was circumstance, that l think it is
scarce possible to mention worse; was as
exquisitley miserable, las it was possible for any
one to be, that had life and health, and mon
ey to help them as Ihad. l had weight of
guilt upon me, enough to sink any creature
who had the least power of reflection left, and
had any sense upon them of the happiness of
this life, or the misery of another: L had at
first some remorse indeed, but no repentance.
had now neither remorse or repentance. i
had crime charged on me, the punishment
of which was death; the proof so evident, that
there was no room for me, so mnch as to
plead not guilty; had the name of an old
offender, so that had nothing to expect but
death, neither had myself any thoughts of
escaping, and yet certain strange lethargy of
soul possessed me; l had no trouble, no ap-
prehensions, no sorrow abont me; the first
surprise was gone; was, may well say, l
know not how; my senses, my reason, nay,
my conscience, were all asleep; my course Of
life for 40 years had been horrid complica-
ton Of wickedness, adultery, incest, lying,
theft, and, in word, everything but murder
and treason had been my practice from the
age of Is, or thereabouts, to threescore; and
now was ingulfed in the misery of punish
ment, and had an infamous death at the door,
and yet had no sense of my condition; no
thought of heaven or hell, at least that went
any farther than bare flying touch, like the
stitch or pain that gives hint and goes off;
l neither had heart to ask Gods mercy, or
indeed to think of it. And in this think /
have given brief description of the complet-
est misery on earth.


All my terrifying thoughts were past, the
horrors of the place were become familiar,
and felt no more uneasiness at the noise
and clamors of the prison, than they did who
made that noise; in word, was become a
mere Newgate-bird, as wicked and as outrage
Gus as any of them; nay, scarce retained
the habit and custom of good breeding and
manners, which all along till now run
through my conversation; so thorough de-
generacy had possessed me, that I was no
more the same thing that had been, than if
had never been otherwise than what was
now.-From the Nocel Of "MoU Flanders"