smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

Uncle Sam had roost for his hens,
Where they roasted by thousands and tens
The motion to rob it was Ben's.
Hired men of my uncle, feel"
Said Ben, in solemn appeal,
Low wages do prompt us to steal"
The force of this moral idee
Was so mighty and powerful you see,
Not to do 1t they couldn't agree.
So the hearties they gave Ben boost,
And his fingers then suddenly noosed
Two pullets per man from the roost.
Uncle Sam is now watching the spot,
To discover man who will not
Go home with foul in his pot.


-Elizur Wright.
Year: 1873

An Omaha man rose to build his Mon
day morning fire, when he was seized
with violent fit of coughing, and chok-
ed to death before relief could be had.
Let this serve as warning to domineer-
ing wives who kick their husbands out
of bed at the approach of daylight, and
sweetly snooze while he chills the mar
row in his bones and harks his shins on
the stove hearth, kindling fire for them.
Year: 1873

The ordinary expenses of the Nation
al Government are just about three times
as large as they were before the war,
while the interest and pension list IN
crease them to five times as much. New
ertheless, you know this is the most
economical administration on Gods green
EARTH as our Henry says.-Boston
Herald
Year: 1873

A LAUGHING PLANT.-A singular veg
etable phenomenon has been discovered
during recent explorations in Arabia
1t is called the laughing plant, from the
effect which is produced by the seeds.
When they are pulverized and eaten in
small quantities, the person eating them
will soon begin to laugh loudly, then to
sing, dance, and do all manner of absurd
things. This lasts for about an hour,
after which he goes to sleep, utterly un-
conscious of what has occurred. 1t has
been suggested that this plant might be
made substitute for alcohol, and that
it would have the advantage of being
cheaper, until the Government should
see the trick, and commence to tax it
But it is scarcely probable that the Ara
bian plant could in fact be made popu-
lar in that capacity, for it does not ap-
pear that it inspires the person who par
takes Of it with desire to whip his
wife, murder his mother, or indulge in
many singular acts which the alcohol of
the period moves one to perpetrate.
Year: 1873

e great increase Of the pattern business since the
Production Of TRIMMED PATTERS, has led to the
punishment Of local agencies in every part of the
ited States which enables the ladies in the country
well as the city TO make their own selections Each
ltern u enclosed IN am envelope stamped with plate


Of the garment when completed.
Year: 1873

higher, up above the clouds, far away
from the wild land.


The little princess, all the family and
people sat and waitcd-they are waiting
still ; and if you do not believe it, just
take journey to the wild land; every
child there talks about the professor
and the flea, and believe that they are
coming back when the cannon is cooled
off; but they will not come, they are at
home with us, they are in their native
country, they travel on the railway, first
class, not fourth they have good sue
cess, great balloon. Nobody asks how
they got their balloon or where it came
from they are rich folks now, quite re-
spectacle folks indeed-thc flea and the
professor
Year: 1873

Ready money is an excellent thing to
have on had. No matter if it is only
little sum. If it is only sufficient for the
current expenses, it is Il great convent
ence, to say the least. Any one who has
tried and compared the credit with the
cash system, will readily admit the cor
rectncss of the above remark. When
you buy for cash you generally get things
chcaper-got better weight and measure,
and all the favors the dealer can extend
to his patrons. On the chronic credit
system the matter is usually reserved.
Ii you try to avoid credit by borrowing,
you improve matters very little if any.
Hence We give this advice, turn an
honest penny" whenever you can, and
always have sufficient money on hand to
meet your small engagements.


Farmers usually depend upon their one
crop for the means necessary to meet the
expenses of the whole year, and it is sin
grllar that they should thus depend upon
the one single source, while the oppor-
tunities for Il profit are more varied on
the farm than i'll almost any other
branch of industry. Put yourselves to
thinking, and do not miss single oppor-
tunity for earning dollar, or dime
even. Persevering industry bcgcts econ
omy, and both combined begct compe-
tency and fortune.
Year: 1873

Coal is carbon carbon combines with
oxygen to form carbonic acid J.; there is
carbonic acid in the air, and it is an in
tercsting question how much coal i'll
ombination actually exists in the atmos-
phere about us. Savants assert that the
total is not less than eight hundred and
fifty thousand millions of tons. But
this is only fraction of that which
formerly existed in the air when the
world was young. The coal mines OF
the world are estimated as containing
five million millions of tons, all OF which
was primarily taken from the air by the
rank vegetation of primeval times.


OF course in those remote cons the
atmosphere, containing say seven times
its present percentage of carbonlc acid,
was untitled for the animal life now
flourishing on the globe. But as the
carbon was withdrawn the oxygen was
proportionately increased, and resplra-
ton became gradually possible to AMI
mails of higher and more complex organ
ization, and requiring more rapid
oxygenation of the blood. Hence as the,
atmosphere changed by the growth of
the conforming vegetation, the organic
creatures progressed from the earliest
reptiles that crawled in the hot and
wide-reaching everglades to the beng
that, crowning the strange, long series,
was made in the image of his Creator,
by whom into his nostrils was breathed
the breath of life"
Year: 1873

A RUSSIAN MARRIAGE CEREMONY.


Marriage observanccs differ in out
ward form with the nations, and per-
haps our own whimsicality is the honey
moon, which intermediate period is not
openly celebrated by the Russians, who
entirely abiure this sentimental custom.
Their weddings generally take place tow
ard evening. During the ceremony
the bride and bridegroom hold a lighted
taper in their hands in front of small
altar placed in the center of the church.
Rings are placed on their fingers, and
their hands being joined, they are led
three times round the altar. Two high
ly-ornamented gilt crowns are placed on
their heads and held over them by the
groomsmen during part of the services.
They drink wine out of the cup three
times, and kissing one another, the cere-
mony is finished. The married couple
then make tour of the church, crossing
themselves at and saluting each sanity
Icon on the way. Immediately after the
ceremony dinner commences at the house
of the brides father. At a marriage
feast lighted candles are placed in every
position and corner possible. No other
wine but champagne should be drunk,
and the quantity consumed of this bever.
age is remarkable. The dinner is fol
lowed by ball, and the feasting is
usually kept up for twenty-four hours.
The married couple spend the first few
days of their welded life with the brides
father. After the marriage the bride
and bridegroom must call upon every
one of their relations, friends, and ac.
quaintances, and after this ceremony is
finished they sink back to their ordinary
life.
Year: 1873

by HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN.


There was once an ;eronaut with whom
things went badly The balloon burst,
tumbled the man out, and broke iuto
bits. His boy he had two minutes be-
fore sent down with parachute-that
was the boys luck he was unhurt, and
went about with knowledge enough to
make blm an ieronaut too; but he had
no balloon, and no means of acquiring
one.


But live he must, and so he applied
himself to the art of legerdemain and to
talking i'll his stomach in fact he be-
came a ventriloquist, as they say. He
was young, good-looking, and when he
got mustache, and had his best clothes
on, he conld be taken for ii nobleman's S
son. The ladies seemed to think well
OF him; one young lady even was so
taken with his charms and his great
dexterity that she went off with him to
foreign parts. There he called himself
professor-he could scarcely do less.


His constant thought was how to get
himself balloon, and go up into the
air with his little wife, but as yet they
had no means.


They'll come yet" said he.


"lf only they would" said she.


We are young folks, said he, "and
now l am professor. She helped him
faithfully, sat at the door and sold
tickets to the exhibition, and it was Il
chilly sort of pleasure in winter time.
She also helped him in the line of
his art. He put his wife into a
large table-drawer; then she crawlcd
INTO the back part of the drawer, and
so was not in the front part-ouite an
optical illusion to the audience. But
one evening when he drew the drawer
out she was also out of sight to him ;
she was not in the front drawer, nor in
the back one either, not in the house
ltself-nowhere to be seen or heard
that was her feat of legerdemain, her
entertainment. She never came bacl,
again she was tired of it all, and he
grew tired of it, lost all his good hunlor,
could not laugh or make Jokes, and SO
the people stopped coming, his earnings
became scanty, his clothes gave out
and finally he owned great flea, which
his wife had left him, and so he thought
highly of it. And he dressed the flea
and taught it to perform, to present
arms, and to fire cannon but it was O
little cannon.


The professor was proud of the flea
and the flea was proud of himself he
had learned something, and had human
blood, and had been besides to the
largest cities, had been seen by princes
and princesses, had received their higl
praise, and it was printed in newspapers
and on placards. Plainly, it was very
famous flea, and could support profes
sor and his entire family.


The flea was proud and famous, and
yet when he and the professor Travelled
they took fourth-class carriages on the
railway; they went just as quickly as
the first-class. They were betrothed te
each other; it was private engagement
that would never come out they neve,
would marry, the flea would remain
Year: 1873

AT Madras match was made by an
officer of horse artillery and some Off
GERS of the Fifteenth Hussars the for
mer was to ride his Arab horse 400
miles in five days. The Arab won the
match with ease.
Year: 1873

If the old saying dry June for
good crop year" is true, of course
wet june is a bad crop year, and our
farming friends had better prepare for
auy emergency. If the weather IS Fea-
souably seasonable in July aud
August, We think very much Of the
damage by the extreme wet of June,
may be repaired but should it turn off
very dry after this long wet spell the
crops must all be very short. Plow
deep when you do plow, and crops will
stand drouth better than If you plow
shallow
Year: 1873

suffer but seldom with my spine and then
not so Acutely. Ny appetite Is good in
decd for the hrst lime in my life Go.
my dinner more than any meal
the day.


Tou kindly sent me four bottles \
last night, and began again this ma,sfi-
ing, and hope to be entirely reli1sd.
Please accept my heartfelt thanks and
~bcet wishes.


Very truly your nest grateful friend,
Year: 1873

STEAM VEHICLES. locomotion on the common highway has long been the subject of experiment and invention, which has hitherto resulted in little of practical value. An eminent Scotch en- gneer, though, has lately introduced road steamer upon the streets of Glasgow that seems to be absolutely free from objection Of any kind. The engine attached to the road carriage is very simple in it's construc- ton, and is SO much under control that il, is possible to stop the carriage when tray cling at the rate of five or six miles an hour, within distance of feet An an nulus provided for the emission of steam in continuous flow prevents the noise of pulling and snorting of the engine, and ob- vlates all difficulty and danger of horses snying or becoming frightened. The in ventor Of this road steamer has applied the principles in the manufacture o f a private travelling carriage, and proposes to build s'eam omni5uses for city conveniences and traffic. The small private carriage, after many experiments on the most crowded streets of Glasgow, was found to be per- fectly manageable and almost noiseless while the steam omnibus it is believed would prove equally SO, and be from 40 to 6o per cent more remunerative to its owner than the ordinary horse omnibus of the same capacity.
Year: 1873

4r Smith h bound to have bic joke Hls wife walked nearly in front of rail- road train the other day, and he said that if she had gone step farther his children would have had . step mother.
Year: 1873

FINE PREACHER correspondent of the
Kent NeaOs, sends the following brief but strik-
ing item to that paper from locality adjacent
to ChestertOWn - Df't.f.. '.ut q.


1t pains me to inform you that there are
many cruel men In this town, especially one
who has half killed an insane boy because he
stayed too long hunting for the COW, and there
for nearly chOked him to death, and bruised
him to pIeces This man Is preacher, and
thought that they knew the commandments of
GOD better than any one else.
Year: 1873

The Swiss immigrants who now be-
gin to arrive in this city may be regar-
ded rs the advance guards OF q move
mcnt which is probably destined to add
to our already diversified population
an immense number of the most hardy,
frugal and industrious people in the
world. At present these immigrants
arrive in small parties Of from fifty to
hundred. a company of forty-fo ur
arrived few days ago c., route to join
a large colony OF their countrymen
which has been established in Grundy
county, Tennessee. Other, but smaller,
colonies have been formed in other
parts Of that State and in Virginia.
These colonies are all doing well, and
the immigrants appear to be satisfied
with their condition and prospects. The
knowledge of their prosperity will no
doubt exercise an important influence
on their countrymen, and tend to swell
the tide which is now for the first time
beginning to flow from Switzerland to
the United States. So far the Swiss
manifest decided preference for the
Southern States, whore they are heart
lily welcomed as valuable addition to
the population.-N. Y. Bulletin.
Year: 1873

From tho Uuion Record we have the
following manly counsel:


While there is no earthly means by
which we can, at the present, get rid Of
| the kellogg usurpation, we can refuse to
give it any support. we can refuse to


contribute anything toward it in tho
way OF taxes. 1t cannot live without
our money-indeed it lives for our
| money. Withhold that from it, and
| 1t Will soon come to grief. We notice
| that the movements OF tho tax resist
! ance association in New Orleans has
already alarmed the chief conspirator.
He gives vent to his uneasiness through
what is called n proclamation warning


the people against refusing to pay taxes.
We arc not surprised ut this. How


natural it is for the wolf when he sees


his prey slipping from his paw, to give


vent to his disappointed feelings by a


savage howl! So it is with Kellogg,


tho slightest prospect OF loosing his


prey, brings from his ravenous lips n
threatening howl. Let our people take
no notice of his threats, but, In every


parish III tho State, meet In counsel;
form into associations, act in concert
as ono man, and resolve not to pay ono
cont OF tribute to the vile usurpers.


II we arc united we can accomplish
good. We cannot individually. Unless
tho people will como together, and
agree to act in concert, there will be no
alternative but to meet tho demands of
the kellogg tax collectors, and lot tho
government Of our choice dissolve into


nothingness. Which We cannot afford


to do, II, for no other reason, because


all hope of having our rights secured


by Congress is not entirely gone. 1t is


true Congress adjourned leaving us in


tho hands Of Grant, but it did not recog-


nize tho kellogg government. Since


tho adjournment Of Congress, tho Senate


has been in extra session and It still


refuses to recognize either tho kellogg
or Fusion government, by not admit
ting either Pinchback or McMillen to II
seat in tho Senate, but have expressly
deferred tho matter till tho regular
session in December ncxt. Now II we
permit tho Fusion government to dis
solve, and give in our voluntary adhc-
sion to tho Kellogg usurpation how can
wc hope to be heard in Congress Mt its
regular session? So every considcra-
sion ofselfrespect, manhood, patriotism
and interest demand that We give no
support to tho kellogg usurpation, only
rs enforced ut tho point Of tho bayonet!
Year: 1873

Having beon in this business upwards of
Sixteen Years, GROSS BROTHERS feel them
selves competent to make purchases in a
way to give the Customer the full benefit
of his money. Their assortment is full
and complete, and OF such varieties, both in
kind and quality, rs will meet the demands
Of this market.
Year: 1873

5s!S- All Goods warranted to give Satisf:,c-
ton, and will be sold Cheap as by any
house i'll the South. a liberal share of tho
patronage of tho Public is respectfully so
lic:ted, and an invitation extended to all to
call and examine for themselves tho stock
of
Year: 1873

One Of the States exchanges thus
briefly comments upon the conduct of
one Member of Congress in regard to
the salary grab aud the back pay mat
ter:


! Congressman Shellabarger explains
why he gave his sanction by silence to
the report that he had refused his back
pay, when in fact he had drawn it. He
thought by refusing to take the money
he would commit an act of vulgar dem.
agogism, with the imputation that his
comrades were thieves And yet he
let a report circulate charging him with
vulgar demagogism, and making no
effort to contradict it until some ono
else discovered it's falsity.
Year: 1873

We had call this morning from our
old f,iend Edwin Richardson, who ia
just down fsom the Upper Columbia
tie deems it certain that there is much
aneasiness and growing insolence among
the tribes OF Indians in the E lstern part
of the Territory. He was compelled to
desist from attempting the public sur
veys any further into portion of the
country where they were quite nume-.
ous, as they sent a delegation to him
with the threat that if be did not desist
from his surveying they would take him
prisoner and drive away-his men. They
SO evidently meant what they said that
he was compelled to leave the field much
to his anne! ance and pecuniary loss.--
Olympia Courier, May 21st.
Year: 1873

A Wilkinson County (Ga.) man be-
came convinced the other day that a
woman's temper is very irregular. He
had been moulding some bullets, ana
had neglected t., cool off the ladle iu
which the lead had been melted. While
he was counting the bullets his wife
came into the room humming a tender
ioye-song. Suddenly the song ceased.
and the man was made aware that some-
thing had happened by catching an ad-
jacent coffee on the bridge OF his
nose. The unhappy wife and mother
had taken this picturesque mode of in-
forming him that she had picked up th
ladle by the hot end.
Year: 1873

The argument is attempted to be made that
those who agitate Ito compel the delinquent
stockholders of the East River Bridge to pay
ND their overdue subscriptions will be re-
sponsible if there should be any stOppage
of the work. The same persons urge that
these delinduent stockholders be released from
their obligations, and then the work can be
carried on by tho two cities. Now lot US see
how this is


Brooklyn owes 100000, New-York 100000,
the private stockholders $215,000. Here is
a total Of s1,115,OOO which would be available
if the private stockholders complied with the
law and paid up their installments. The bill
which they are attempting to smuggle through
permits them at their option to relieve them
selves of the payment of this S2l5,OOO. This
carried out will reduce the fund to S0OO,OOO.
What assurance is there that the two cities
can carry on the work on 100000 more GER
tainly than the private stockholders can with
S1115,0OOl On the contrary, it is apparent to
everybody that the reduction of the fund viii
decrease the chances of finishing the Bridge.
Will not delay be tho fault of those who In
sist on refusing to pay the deficiencies In
their subscriptions, and who seek to force
upon these cities the purchase of their stock
already paid inf These are the people who
are crppling the enterprise. The true friends
of the Bridge are those who insist that the
private stockholders as well as the cities shall
pay their just proportion of the fund. We
hope this point will not be lost upon Gov.
Dix, who has the bill still under consideration.
Year: 1873




If there was ever demand for Peoples
Party, anywhere, such an organization is
needed now in Louisiana. Chaos seem to have
invaded every department of public affairs.
The State has a debt of more than thirty
millions, to which eleven millions have been
added by recent legislative enactments.
State taxation Is four times larger than it was
in 1868; municipal taxes increase this burden
so that in some localities the gross amount
exacted is a virtual cenfscation of business
interests. The officials, Federal, State and
Municipal, eat out the substance of the land,
being endowed by corrupt legislation with
excessive fees and salaries, and receiving
in some instances, for half-hours
service, what would be equivalent to q lib
eral annual salary elsewhere. The whole
structure of the government is corrupted and
enormously oyergrown, the patronage in the
hands of the Governor being it has been
boasted, as large as that of the President of
the United States. BY arbitrary and unwar-
ranted DEGREES, the government has been sub
verted men have been put into Office without
the consent of the governed; inextricable con-
fusion has been introduced into every branch
of the public service, even down to the most
petty Offices; and the people are utterly at
q loss where to find the legal representatives
of power, or in whom to recognize the
lawful authority Of the local government.
The collection of taxes and all tho ma
chinery which regulates the movement
of every just administration of affairs
is broken and out Of joint. Business is pros
trated; every man distrusts his neighbor; and
ruin stares the State and the citizen in the
face. This gloomy picture is not too darlSly
tinted. For such a condition of things the
warning politicians are wholly chargeable. We
have not time now to call names nor specify
parties; but, from the time when the Casey
gang took possession of q political convention
with United States soldiers and cannon, until
now, the State has been cursed with faction
fights over the spoils of Office and the control
of Louisiana politics. In these contests a
great and wealthy State has been impover-
ished and its citizens have been stripped,
wounded and broken. That is the whole case.


To complicate matters and to kindle new ap-
prehensOns for the future, dissensions between
the whites and blacks have been fomented,
and Ithe awful spectre of possible war of
races has been raised to view. Manifestly, the
only remedy for such a sum of ills is in the
organization Of party which shall vigorously
rule out tho professional politicians and bind
itself to a searching reform in every branch
of the local government. To begin with, no
such party can hope for influential existence
without coordination Of white and
colored citizens The voting strength OF
the State is too evenly divided between
the two races 10 make any pro-
scription on account of race or color safe in
an organization which is designed to combine
the non-partisan elements of the State. VIII
the white people be able to conquer their pre-


iudicesi This momont0us question has been