Year: 1875




their mad career till mosteof then
were almost driven into bankruptcy


and now. since they see where the,
stand financially. every one is crylns
tout "liigh taxes" as though the tax
es we're What had brought them t.
their present embarrassed condition
Now this is . false alarm, and should
not Oe persisted in, for most mer
who cry I" high taxes never pay {
cent of tax-at least when il can be
possibly avoided. Most of the higI
taxes that have been running the peo.
pie were paid on all manner of fool
cry that might have been done with
out. But now they see where they
have erred, and are ashamed of it,
and rather than admit that they have
acted foolishly, they pack every thing
on high taxes. just as 1 used to pack
all my mean acts on whisky, as ma.
ny do yet. Why, Consin John. g
short time since the tail of dead
horse, whose horseship had departed
this life with mild case OF epizooty,
if properly filed with cuckle-burs,
judiciously distributed, would sell
for from So to SIS, more especially
if it happened to be of sorrel or
clay bank color, resembling the col
or of most young ladies hair. The
front parts of q monkeys jaws (from
the ears forward) with teeth and
gums all perfect, and witha system
atic grin affixed thereto, would bring
$50 of hard earned money, besides
the expense of thoroughbred den


tist, of perhaps SO to S25, for draw
ing set of beautiful. pearly teeth,
such as the All-Wise Creator usual
ly gives those whom he makes in his
own image From twenty to forty
yards of dress goods were purchased
and drug through the mud for the
purpose Of hiding hole in the butt
end Of aastocking. when a patch the
size of a smoothing iron would have
answered every purpose. From So
to S25 paid for making what is call.
ed a dress, when a salt sack open at
both ends and arm holes in the sides,
drawn over the head, would have
answered every purpose.


From 80 cents TO 50 so was often
paid for a two ounce box of flour,
just such as our own millers sell at
three cents per pound, except, per-
haps, a few drops of the flavoring
extract Of gourd blossoms. But,
thank goodness, many of these
things have been abandoned, and for
the best of reasons, too, compulsfon.
The only surplus l discover about
the female woman now is, that pin
back or artificial tail which when the
ladies are walking reminds one of a
stump-tailed dog with shuck tied
to it. Some of our ladies have got
so that they do not care TO show
their natural form, and some of them
are very we'll developed. If they
continue cur-tailing they will soon
get so they can wag their tail equal
to any cur. And then if they will
just keep on cur-tailing we will soon
get back to the good old days Ol
Adam and Eve, and will have a good
time yet.


But. Cousin John. these foolish
fashions Of our female citizens are
not only extravagant. but very sin
full, and it's influence on the rising
generation viii have bad tendency
/ have often wondered that tho
preachers did not try to remedy thi:
sinful and shamefnlrpractice in their
respective congregations. But they
are afraid if they say anything aboni
it their rations will be cut short
They must know that they are not
doing their duty unless they raise
their voice against these huge sins
sand that they can't lug whole con
gregations of women into Heavel
who are loaded down with all the
foolish and sinful fashions Of a Pa
risian rip-snorter. And further,-that
they viii miss their aim at HEAVIER
unless they do everything in theil
power to save their focks from the
wolves who 60 in sleeps clothing
Yes, Cousin John. tie preachers AZ
know their duty IN the premises, bBl
are afraid to do it. If L were 6
preacher OF tie gospel 4 wohld pre-
fer doing my duty. and going te
Heaven on short rations. to that
other place in company with all the
the ine dressed women Of America
and the Partisan high-Ayers thrown
in. In old times there were some
pretty good preachers, but I am sure
they would not be popular with Us
now. wish we had a Paul OF
John Wesley for a few weeks. j0st
to see If the newspapers would say
as much about them as they do about
Moody and Sankey. BAscUM. :


The surgical examination of the
body Of Laxingtons the great Ken
tucky race-horse,, revealed n most