smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1871

The other day woman post
master was married-we call her
maiden name Smith, and he1
married name Jones. Now who
was the postmaster after that
ceremony? Certainly not Miss
Smith. And certainly not Mrs


Jones, for no such postmaster
was known to the Department.


There's the bother. And wo-
man must give up matrimony or
must waive some Of her 'srights.' -
Year: 1871

"A very remarkable and melail-
choly affair has just taken place
in st. Louis, in which an unfor-
tunate business speculation had
such an effect upon a young man
that he went to the river ac-
companied by Il young lady, and
tried to persuade her to drown
herself with him; watched for Il
train to come along under which
to throw himself asked the lady
to buy him laudanum, and sub
sequcntly threw himself on a
railway track, in front of pass
ing train, and was killed. This
is certainly one of the most de-
termined cases of suicide that
has taken place for long time,
and is very interestin" as show
ing the effect of ovcri;,xing the
brain with business and ones
self with debt.
Year: 1871

We clip the following from the
New Orleans Bulletin of Friday ::


"The freight tariff in Red river
went up another peg yesterday,
as the boats were demanding two
full old card rates to Shreveport
from one and u half the day pre-
vious, and still firm at three old
card rates to Boon's Bend, with
special rates on certain articles
to both places, and VIC should not
be astonished to find that the
ruling rates next would he three
and four old card rates, for the
present low stage of the river
will not allow the boats to carry
full loads, and they must have
some margin to go on, or else
quit the business"
Year: 1871

The British postcard system
is 4 grand success. A party goes
to the post office and indites n
short message on one side of a
prepared card, the address being
ON the other side. The postage
charge is but half a penny. Dur
ing the first six months of this
postal experiment Il hundred and
twenty-five millions of cards
were delivered from the various
post offices Of the United King
dom, realizing 1851, ,j61 in the
way of postage receipts.
Year: 1871

The meeting of the Agricultural Society
which was to have taken place last night
was postponed until tonight. The place
OF meeting is the concert-room Of the Ex.
change Hotel. At this meeting the presi.
dents report will be presented and an elec-
ton of officers for the ensuing year will be
held.
Year: 1871

Mr. EDITOR: The regular spring ex


aminations Of teachers in this county are


just concluded and in announcing the


result it is gratifying to observe that a
large majority Of the applicants have at
tanned averages much higher than those
given them last fall. This is conclusive


proof that they have worked earnestly
during the winter term for self-lmproVe- :
,nent, and the result is very satisfactory.
IF teachers continue these efforts We can
soon firmly establish a standard Of quail
hcation In this county, from which we
need not devlate every term, that the
schools may all be supplied and the in-
competent teachers who are now tolerat-
ed through necessity, can be quietly re-
moved and their places occupied by
those who can obtain certificates without
resorting to the old time practice Of send
ing influential friends to importune
and intimidate the Superintendent.


Most of the teachers have earned their
certificates this spring and fewer limited
licenses will be issued. Below are the
names Of those whose standing is a or
upwards, on a scale of 10. Many of
them are pupils attending our public
schools, who are too young to be entrust-
with the responsible duties of teaching,
yet whose attainments are very credita
bic and entitle them to the distinction
of publication. Ere long they viii be
prepared to take rank with the really
worthy and efficient teachers of our
county, and to displace those who
are always soliciting private examin-
ations never care to attend Teachers
Institutes; who never have any chalk
for black board use who fold
charts and outline maps and thrust them
into corner to get them out Of the way;
and put Webster's Dictionary into the
where it frequently remains
without being disturbed during the
term.


NAMES or ADpT Tr ANrS avEp .ctF crtND-
Year: 1871

The 'Warm Sugar SociabIc," held at
the residence of HIrs. II. Hoes on
Wednesday last was the s1ceetest affair of
the season, We hear. We regret that ace
were not able to attend, in order to par
take of the ''saccharine material even
in our SHADY days" for that seemed
the effect produced upon the other gen
tlemen who attended. The ladies of
course were Just as sweet rs sugar.
long before the sap run or the days of
maple sugar. Such pleasant affairs as
the last mite should be gotten up oftener
-ior the sake Of sociability if not street.
ness.
Year: 1871

We clip the following from the Mil
waukee hdec


MANIToWoC.-Oar little Missionary
church at Manitowoc has been engaged
during the last year in the building of
Memorial church. We are a feeble
Band Of forty-eight members, and nearly
all poor, with none rich. Oar structure
Is of brick-a beautiful model. 49xSl,
and will cost US some $4,000 or SIT 900.
With the last Sabbath in February we oc-
cupied the beautiful basement for wor-
ship and Sabbath School purposes, with
decided increase of congregation for the
past four Sabbaths; and with Sabbath
School increase from l50 members to 223,
the largest attendance upon Sabbath
School that our young city, we suppose,
has ever known. The whole church is
and IS glazed throughout in basement
and above With stained glass of unusual
beauty. The struggles OF our little so
ciety with our undertaking are such ac-
cordIng to its means, as very few Church
enterprises have ever put forth; and to
tell the truth, these struggles explain the
necessity indicated in my business note.
We hoped for little more, help from the
Church Erection Board, and also from
the Home Missionary Board but their
unWonted burdens rendered 1t necessary,
to leave US resting Cader unwontei bur-
dcns too. To complete eventually at
whatever burden, what We have under
taken, IS our purpose. But a difficult
task still remains on our hands to ac-
compllsh. It IS pioneer work, and
seems memorable IN its demand that it be
done tor Christ and our country.
Year: 1871

Which | wish to remark
And my language is plain,-
That for ways that are dark
And for tricks that are vain,


The Sd Ward voters are peculiar
Which the same | would rise to
maintain.
Year: 1871

Will some of our patrons, living out
side the city send us occasionally, bits OF
county news? They would be very ac-
ceptable during these dry times. Though
it is damp under foot, it seems dryer in
the item line, and we think it would
puzzle any local in the land to travel as
much as we are in the habit of doing, and
find anything that is going on here
Year: 1871

THERE is pretty strong rumor in
town, that considerable county funds
have been lost by the County Treasurer
in the late Fuessenich swindle perhaps
we shall receive full information at the
next report of the County Investigating
Committee
Year: 1871

Mrs. McCoLLUM will please accept
the hearty thanks Of the TRIBUNE S
press gang for the beautiful loaf Of
Maple sugar Of her own manufacture,
presented by her noble husband, the new
chairman of the Town Of Gibson, yester-
day morning. Such evidences of kind
remembrance are really cheering and
encouraging.
Year: 1871

Our readers should bear In mind that
a new and dangerous fifty cent counter
fe,t of the last issue Of postal currency
has been produced. The ink and color
of the paper give it the exact appear
ance of the genuine after it has been wet,
Or worn considerably.
Year: 1871

JUDGE SHOVE of our Police Court has
been getting some neat blanks printed
for his own use; SAMPLES Of which are
now ready for inspection at our Office,
and age are ready to print more such for.
ourfriends in the legal profession. Please,
give US a call.
Year: 1871

ADAM BoTH proprietor Of Roth S
House in Milwaukee, makes his bow to
the travelling public Of our County. He
and his house have been highly recon-
mendel to as by competent authority, so
we can very chcerfolly do the same. See
his card
Year: 1871

An IMPORTANT IMPROVEMENT. An
engineer. from Ottowa, Canada. is max
ing preliminary survey o. Middle Is
land, which lies in what is known as the
Middle Passage, a short distance south
of Point au Pellee, Lake Erie, it being
the intention of the Canadian govern
ment to construct a lighthouse at that
point The light, when once established,
will enable vessels bound through Lake
Erie eastward and for Toledo to shorten
the distance. They viii also at all times
be able to take advantage of winds that
they now cannot, and in times of peril to
seek one Of the best refuges Lake Erie
affords. L is not improbable that the
work will be completed the present sea-
son.
Year: 1871

THE Press By Horton & Leonard. Chi
cago is one Of the Drettiest specimens Of
Typography We have received in a long
while Its proprietors really deserve the
distinction of being the leading printers
west of Lake Michigan.
Year: 1871

New ADVERTISEMENTS. NTs.-frank Kos
tomlatsky comes ont in a new business,
having given up Dry Goods and Grocer
les, and gone into the Wine and Liquor
trade. 1t is not necessary for us to re-
commend hin, as all who know him land
who does not?) like to trade with him,
being sure to be dealt with fairly and
honorably.
Year: 1871

ATNo SO Anderson st, a small lot of Furniture,
"A Bedding, and Crockery Ware; any wishing
to buy are invited to call early as the goods must be
disposed OF within the week. ly2adlwe
Year: 1871

ACCORDING to the Missouri Democrat,
there is Methodist clergyman preach
ing in ST. Louis who expects shortly to
be able to build a churh of his own,
and live in the future independent of
contributions from his parishioners.
The story goes that an ancestor of Mr..
Springer, the said clergyman, leased a
farm in Delaware to German for one
hundred years. In the course OF time
the farm was sold in parcels to different
purchasers, and became the site OF a
large town. One of the decendants of
the original owner has discovered the
lease among the records of the county,
and has ascertained the whereabouts OF
three hundred of theirs, of whom Mr..
Springer is SO modest in his views that
he will be satisfied with half million
for his share. Truly, contentment is
better than riches
Year: 1871

A 1AUGHABnE thing took place at a
revival meeting somewhere in Missis-
sippi not long since The minister no.
ticed a seedy looking chap in one of
the seats, looking as though he needed
religion or good square meal. So he
stepped up to him and asked him if he
was Christian. I" No, sir, said he,
g I am editor of the Radical paper in
this place. 50 Then, in the name OF
God, let us pray" replied the devoted
minister. 9
Year: 1871

Look most at your spending. No matter
what comes, if more goes out you will al
ways be poor. The art is not in making
money, but in keeping it, little expenses
like mice in barn, when they are many,
make great waste. Hair, by hair, heads
get bald. Straw by straw, the thatch goes
of the cottage, and drop by drop, rain
comes into the chamber. A barrel is soon
empty, if the tap leaks but drop min
ute. When you mean to save, begin with
your mouth; there are many thieves down
the red lane. The ale jug is great waste.
In all other things keep within compass,
Never stretch your legs farther than the
blankets will reach, or you will soon be
cold. In clothes, choose suitable and
lasting stuff, and not tswdry ineTies. TIC
be warm Is the main thing never mind
the looks. A fool may make money, buI
it needs wise man TO spend it. Remem'
Der it is easier to build two chimneys thar
to keep one going. If you give all to back
and board, there is nothing left for the
savings bank. Fare hard and work hare
while you are young, and you have ;
chance Of rest when you are old, ..-
Year: 1871

A San Francisco Christmas sensation


was the attempted suicide in a fashion
able restaurant Of a young man named


Massett, and said to be a relative Of
Stephen Mas5ett, the humorist. He
ate a very hearty repast, Slowly and
with evident enioyment, and when his
checks had amounted to $3.50 he or
dered a 50 bottle of wine. Two thirds
of this be drank, then. cOOlly leaning
back and drawing a single-barreled
pistol, he cred it into his mouth. He
arose, blood streaming from his lips,
and a waiter supporting him hs began
tOexpress his surprise that q leaden pis-
tOl bullet could be shot through d
mans mouth and lodge in his brain
without stunning him. He refused to
give his name or any reason for his
act. Being removed to a station house,
it was found that the ball bad grazed
the roof Of his mouth, cut his palatei
and probably descended with the rest
of his repast. He declared that he
meant to make sure thing, that he
thought death the best way to end his


nisf0Ftunes. bat that be had taugAt
himself 4 lesson not to attempt suicide
again, When cOnduIed with on the
loss Of his palate, he said, al don't
care about that, bat this blood has
spoiled my trousers" III ID. a3.
Year: 1871

When you are passing over railroad
next time, Just think that you are on
a line of q connecting network, the
sum total of whose meshes is 900


miles that the total cost Of this net
work distributed to our whole people
would give $50 TO every mau, woman
and child in the land that the earn
ings of these iron nTeshes annually
would allow each individual Sll,
counting our population forty millions )
that they carry l25, 100000 tons Of
freight that the value of, this whole
tonnage equals s12,6OO, 1000, ,0OO-rle
member these things, and you VIE
form no mean idea of the magnitude
of our railroad system. Remembee
too, that every mile of road adds ivr,
times its own cost TO the aggregate
wealth Of the country.
Year: 1871

What is a slur? Almost any remark one
singer makes about another.


What is a rest? Going out of the choir
for refreshments during sermon time.


What is singing with an understanding?
Marking time on the floor with your foot.


Whatis symphony? Flirting with the
soprano singer behind the organ.


What Is q stacestO ulovement3 Leaving
the choir in . huff when one is dissatisfied
with the Organist.


What Is q swell? A professor Of music,
who pretands to know all about the science,
while he cannot conceal his ignorance.


What Is turn2 When one singer Is dis
charged TO make room for another ---.


How'do we produce q discord? By prais-
ing one lady's singing at the expense Of z
rival who Overhears you.


What is a pause When the organ boy
gets asleep when the choir is ready to sing.


What is a fat7 A singer who supposes
himself or herself Indispensable to the sue
cess of the choir.


How to secure a quartette? Get two good
looking unmarried gentlemen for basso and
tenor, and there will be no trouble in Sc
curing soprano and alto. fs- . ... ..
Year: 1871

q. A learned doctor has given his
opinion that tight lacing is q public
benefit, iuasmuch as its tendency is. to
kill of all the foolish girls and leave


the wise ones to grow into women.
Year: 1871

In TowN.-Ex-Governor johnson
stopped over several days in Clarksburg


He has just lately returned from Vir
ginia, and received many calls from his
large list of friends during his stay here,
Seldom if ever has gentleman OF his
age retained so much Of the natural
force and vigor OF his pristine days.
Although now in his eigh:y-sixth year.
his faculties are still undated and his
activity is remarkable. He is one OF
the landmarks of old-fashioned- Dem
ocralic principles. The Democratic
flame is constantly burning almost as
bright as when in the prime Of life his
name was inscribed on the banners that
led to victory.-Conserrative.


FEARFUL ACcIDENr-NarroW Escape
Of Boy From a Horrible Deah-On
Tuesday evening a lad named Robert
Logan, son OF D. L. Logan, who resides
about quarter of mile from this
town, made a very narrow escape from
horrible death. He, together with
several other boys OF about his own
age, We're playing on Sharps bridge,
and he, more venturesome than the rest,
got outside OF the railing, between the
bridge and embankment, from whence he
fell to the track below, a distance Of
about twenty feet, sustaining severe and
painful injuries HIS comrades were
so badly frightened thatthey were pow.
erless to render him any assistance, and
there he lay on the track in an insensi-
ble condition. The four o'clock train
had whistled about a hundred yards
from the scene oil the accident, when a
heroic lady, Mrs. Roberts, seeing at a
glance, with woman's quick perception,
the dangerous situation OF the boy, ran
to the track and lifted him therefrom,
at imminent peril to herself just in time
to save him from being crushed to
death beneath the wheels of the ap-
preaching train as it came laundering
along at almost lightning speed. All
honor, say we, TO the brave lady who
thus perilel her own life to save that
of a fellow being-.MOundsvilf Re
porter.
Year: 1871

SAVANNAH, November IL. The
Mayor has issued the following: Many
false reports are in circulation concern
ing the health Of this city. On the
authority Of the health officer, and
many leading medical men OF this city,
l positively assert that there is no vel
low fever or any other epidemic disease
in the city.
Year: 1871

Eg- Our Texas exchanges generally
speak of growing disposition among
the people to plant not so much cotton
and more corn, wheat, potatoes, and al
that sort of thing, for which increasing
immigration is sure to produce an in.
crcasing demand,
Year: 1871

THE ECLIPSE SALooN.-Ifyou will take
n drink now and then, it is well enough
to take it in good style. DICK q Co, at
the above saloon, have everything in tip
top order, and if it is pleasure to drink
any where, you will find it so with them.
See tn cir card in the Press.
Year: 1871

rgWe have for sale, half dozen
large superb Steel Engravings of Gen.
ROBERT E. LEE. It's pronounced to be
the best executed and most perfect hike
ness of this distinguished General ever
executed. 1t is picture that will well
adorn any parlor. Apply at this Office.
Year: 1871

ry WANTED at this Office good
steady Boy, to learn the Printing Busi-
ness. One that desires to learn the bust
ness thoroughly and consult the interest
of his employer, will find good situa-
ton. None other need apply. If
Year: 1871

NEW YORK. Jan. I, 1871
To THE EDITOR OF THE HERALD;-


In response TO the article in this days HERALD in
relation to a new Cabinet. would respectfully sug-
gest the name Of DR.. Hayes the Arctic explorer Tor
secretary OF the Navy instead OF Ben Wade. I
presume that under any government but ours he
would have been honored with becoming position
ere this but better now than to reserve all the
honor for the funeral as Is so often done. ] am
aware tnat during the war he had charge OF one or
the largest military h0s ptas: but the very efficient
management thereof rather deserved the thanks Of
the nation than that he should be obliged for the
office. No doubt his appointment would meet with
general favor and If the party In power at pre- ent
neglectS h m let the democrats run him on their
next Presidential or Gubefnatorial ticket II they
wish to eject good men. Al any rate let those be
nonored who devote their time anu risk their lives
to Obtain knowledge which IL so generally desired,
but would never be obtained but FOR such heroic
characters. READER OF YOUR JOURNAL.
Year: 1871

PoTTsviLLE, Jan. 0, 1871.


Tomorrow being the day designated by The Grand
Council OF the Worklngmen's Benevolent Associa-
ton for the suspension OF inning operations
in the Schuylkill region. the indications there
will be general strike throughout the county. That
there W II be great suffering among the miners is
generally admitted. as they now. IN the middle
OF the winter, and dependent on the mines for em
ployment. Very few have any means, and almost
all are entirely unnrovided for the strike. II the
basis proposed Is not conceded within q we k the
laborcrs will be forced Into dlene Tor an indefinite
period and be made TO suffer crously. Business is
materially affected by the course the miners have
taken, ana general regret is expressed ut its
adoption. Intense anxiety is elso manifested as to
the time when mining operations snail be resumed.


lhe following editorial III regard TO the strike Will
apnear tomorrow y the Miners Journal, the lead
ing coal organ Of the Schuyk reg on


we are asked from al quarters whether suspen-
sion VIII take place to-day. We answer that IL will.
coal; aud If Operators and men desires to
work they could not All who desired coal here
lald It n at rates AT witch L was selling TO each
from four to six weeks nnd In some cases two
months. and they will Lot purchase more at present
How ona the strike VIII last in schuylkill county
will depend on circumstances. 1t viii not be long
who have no confidence in Tho movements OF
those who are employed by the companies. IL Will
last until the basis for 1871 is fixed which ought TO
be arranged In the course OF the ensuing two
weeks After tnat Is fixed and there Is demand
for COAL we believe men VIII go to wdrS. The
United Benevolent Association nave authorized
committees to settle the January wages on the best
terms they CAM


1t Is beueved that at least threerourths OF the
cOlicries In the Shamokin region Will not suspend.
They have q market In the West and Selth, ana
are independent OF the market wa Schuylkiil
county, and they will continue TO work To supply
that market Taere may be couple IN Schuylklli
county that will not su pend Ii they can sell any
coal.


A communication from a respectable miner, and
an Oicsr or tie Miners Benevolent Association
says that nland district has voted to work. A
very siderable portion or the men are not salts
fe1 with the action or the last Council ordering
suspension in Schuylki county.
Year: 1871

honor of Old Hickory's glorious victory but
now the day they then celebrated with so
much enthusiasm is suffered to pass by with
out a solitary token OF remembrance or re-
cognition. What is the meaning of all this
Has the immortal Jackson ceased to be patron
saint in the democratic calendar?
Year: 1871

ing before the House Judiciary Committee on


Wednesday, when Miss Anthony, Mrs. Wood
hull aud several other prominent politicians
of that sex will show that there is no need of q
woman suffrage amendment because the
Year: 1871

THE GREAT CHARITY BALL at the Academy
of Music this evening will be the most stylish
affair Of the season on grand scale. Every
body who is anybody will, it is expected, be
there. Need we say any more to anybody
who wishes, especially among the ladies, to
be considered somebody?
Year: 1871

SINGULAR CASE OF POLITICAL DIsENToMB-
MENT.-The Cincinnati Commercial states that
''there is more talk of presenting Vailandigham
as the democratic candidate for United States
Senator from Ohio than is pleasing to the
conservatives of the party" The democracy
of Ohio must be hard pressed for candidate
If they have to dig up political fossil like
Valandgham, who has been so quiet lately
that it was generally supposed he had been
politically entombed forever. But there are
dumping jacks" in every party who cannot
be kept down, but pop up their heads when
ever there is an opening or trap sprung.
After all perhaps the much abused Vallandig-
ham may be as honest aud as available as most
Ohio politicians Of the democratic school.
Year: 1871

The IRISH ExILEs. is making
great arrangements for the reception of the
Fenian exiles. St. Patrick's Day in the morn
ing will offer no parallel to the immense turn
out of enthusiastic Irishmen on the arrival of
the Cuba next week to welcome the return Of
those who have suffered so long and SO much
for the cause of Irish independence. Large
contributions are flowing into the fund for the
reception, and the committee have very wisely
decided to retain large amount for distribu-
ton to the exiles themselves after the recep-
ton is over. It is well not to waste all in one
or two days display. Give the unfortunate fel-
lows not only warm reception, but good
start in the life which they are to commence
over again, after the death Of three years i'm
prisonment.