Year: 1873

"M. QuOd," of the Detroit Free I>reSs, TOOK
charge of lady" on railroad car the other
day. and thus details his woes:


Perhaps the man meant to do Inc favor
when he came up to me at the depot, with a
spinster hugging his arm and wanted to know
if wouldn't take charge Of her from Chicago
to Detroit Many men think railroad jour-
ney is rendered really pleasant by the compan-
ionship of all unprotected female She insist
ed on counting her handbook and travelling
bag as we got seated. She counted. There
we're Just two. I counted and made no
more nor less. Then she wanted her parasol
put into the rack, her shawl folded and her
handbook counted again. / counted it.
There was Just exactly one handbook oft. As
we cot started she wanted to know if / was
sure that we were on the right road to Detroit.
l was sure. Then she wanted her travelling
bag counted. 1 counted it. BY this time
she wanted The window up, and asked me if
it wasn't hot day. I said it was. Then
she felt her money and found it was safe,
though she was sure that she had lost it..
While counting it she related how Mrs. Graft,
in going East five years ago, lost her purse
and So. She wound up the story by asking
me if it wasn't hot day. l said it was. Then
she wanted the band-box counted, and l coun-
ted him. He was still one handbook. There
was a pause of five minutes, and then she
wanted drink. I got it for her. Then she
wanted to know if we were on the right road
to Detroit. 1 assured her of the fact. The
brakeman here called out the name of a
station in such distinct manner that the Ia
dy wanted me to 60 and see what the name
really was I went. 1t was Calumet. She
wanted to know if was sure that it was Calu-
met. put my hand on my sacred heart and
assured her that | would perish sooner than
deceive her. By this time she wanted the
travelling bag counted, and l counted her;
She figured up as before. l had just finished
counting when she wanted to know if didn't
think it was hot day, told her did. We
got along very well for the next half hour, as
| got her to narrating story OF how she got
lost in the woods eighteen years before; but
as soon as she finished it she wanted to know
if I was sure we were on the right road to
Detroit. l told her hoped to perish with
the liars if we were not, and she was satisfied.
Then the parasol fell down; she wanted me
to change ten cent piece, and the window had
to go down. When we got back to Marshall
she wanted to know if the place wasn't named
after court-martial, and whether it was barely
possible that the station was Miles instead OF
Marshall The band-box was counted, and ne
was Just one Then the window went up and
she asked me if, il my opinion, it wasn't hot
day. I replied that it was. Then she related
story about her uncle, and another about
young lady who had been dead several years.
During the day counted the band.box three
hundred times; raised the window thirty times; ;
said it was hot day until my tongue was bls-
tered; arranged the parasol twenty.one times; !;
got her sixteen drinks of water and inquired
the names of thirteen stations. She said it
was so nice to have man in whom stranger
could place confidence, and l dared not reply
for fear of bringing out another story When
we reached Detroit counted the things three
times over, helped her off the cars, got hack,
directed her to hotel and told her the Eamc
of the street. price, name of the landlord, head
waiter, porter and cook; assured her she was
not robbed or murdered that it had been a
hot day that Detroit had a population of
100000 that the fall term of school had COM
menced that all Detroit hack drivers were
honest and obliging; that it was quite warm.
Poor woman! hope the landlord didn't get
out of patience with her artless ways.