Year: 1870

picked, and detected. He surveyed the
wreck which that old riOter and these
two young farmers had made, and then
said:


This is a sad business-a very sad
business. There is the mUcilage bottle
broken, and six panes of glass, and
spittOOn and two candlesticks. But that
is not the worst. The reputation of the
paper is injured, and permanently, I
fear. True, there never was such a call
for the paper before, and it never sold
such large edition or scared to such
celebrity; but does one want TO be IA
nous for lunacy, and prosper upon the
intirmiGes of his mind? My fEiend, as
I am an honest man, the street out here
is full of peODle, and others are rOosting
on the fences, waiting to get a glimpse
of you because they think you are crazy.
And well they might, after reading your
editorials. They are a disgrace to jOurn-
alism. Why, what put it into your head
that you could edit a paper of this na-
ture? You do not seem to know the
first rudiments of agriculture. You
speak of a furrOw and harrow as being
the same thing; you talk of the mOult-
ing season for cows; and you recon-
mend the dOmestiCatiOn of the pOle-cat
on account of its playfulness and its ex-
Cellence as a Tatter. Your remark that
clans will lie quiet if music be played
to them was supeTflOus. Nothing dis
Eturbs CLANS. CLAIMS always lie quiet.
CLANS care nothing whatever abOnt mu-
sic. Heavens and earth, friend, if you
had made the acquiring OfignOrance the
study of your life, you could not have
graduated with higher honor than you
could to-day. I never saw anything
like it. Your observation that the
hOrse-chestnut, as an article OfcOmmerce
is steadily gaining favor, is simply cal
culated to destroy this journal. I want
you to throw up your situation and 60.
want no more hOliday--I could not en-
Joy it if had it. Certainly not with
you in my chair. I would always stand
in dread of what you might be going to
recommend next. It makes me lose all
patience every time I think of your dis
cUssing OysteT-beds under the head of


Landscape Gardening I want you to
go. Nothing on earth could persuade
me to take another holiday. Oh, why
didn't you tell me you didn't know any
thing about agriculture


'IeD you, you cOrnstalk, you cabbage,
you son of a caulitiOWer! It's the first time
I ever heard such an unfeeling remark.
I tell you I have been in the editorial
business going on fourteen years, and it
is the first time I ever heard of a mans
having to know anything in order to ed
it q newspaper. You turnip! Who
write the dramatic critiqUes for the Sec
Ond-rate papers? Why, a parcel of pro-
NOTED shOemakersanda apprentice apOth-
ecaries, who know just as much about
good acting as do about good farming
and more. Who review the books
People who never wrote one. Who do
up the heavy leaders on finance? Par
ties who have the largest opportunities
for knowing nothing abOutit. Who crit
iCise the Indian campaigns? Gentle
men who do not know a war-whOOp from
a wigwam, and who never had to run
a fOOt-race with q tOmahawk, or pluck
arrows out of the several members of
their families to build the evening camp
fire with. Who write the temperance
appeals and ClamOr about the flowing


bowl? Folks who will never draw
another sober breath till they do it in


the grave. Who edit the agricultural pa
pers, yOu-yam? Men, as a general


thing, who fail in the poetry line, yell
low covered novel line, sensatiOn-drama
line, and finally fall back on agriculture
as a temporary repTieve from the poor
house. You try to tell me anything
about the newspaper business Sir, I
have been through it from Alpha to
Omaha, and I tell you that the less a
man knows the bigger noise he makes
and the higher salary ne commands
Heaven knows if [ had but been ignO-
rant instead Of cultivated, and impudent
instead of diffident, I could have made a
name for myself in this cold, selfish
world. I take my leave, sir. Since I
have been treated as you have treated
me, am perfectly willing to 90. But I
have done my duty. I have fulfilled
my contract, as far as I was permitted
to do it. said 1 could make your paper
of interest to all classes, and / have. I
said l could run your circulation up to
twenty thousand copies, and if I had /
had two more weeks I'd have done it. |
And I'd have given you the best class |
Of readers that ever an agricultural pa
per had-nOt a farmer in it, nor a sOlita- |
Ty individual who could tell a watermel- |
on from peach vine to save his life |
You are the loser by this rupture, not |
me Pie-plant. AdiOs'


I thnO left