Year: 1870

in an Express Ofliee.


From the Titusville Herald.l


The life of an express agent has its
dangers and difficulties as well as plea
sures, and also at times is marked with
thrilling escape and wild adventure.
The agent that handles the packages
marked this side up with care" and in
the excitement of business reverses the
position of things, stands as good a
chance of being blown up as he who
carelessly drops can containing nitro
glycerine. Some queer express matter
is handled occasionally-such as live
rattlesnakes, marked handle carefully"
brace of fancy fowls, wild cats, and
cans marked bone turkey" which con-
tain glycerine, and other explosives too
numerous to mention. We have q case
in point On Saturday last box re-
sembling chicken-coop was received at
the office Of the Union Express Com
pany, marked I'D. Rice, Titusville, Pa,
lhalfdozen grapes) Do not disturb the
contents" At first the attaches of the
company paid but little attention to the
coop, which from its marks was supposed
to contain boxes of early grapes, which
the shipper desired handled carefully to
avoid confusion and decay. ra


The day passed, but the consignee
called not for his fruit, and measures
were discussed as TO the best manner in
which to collect charges upon the same,
when all discussion was ended by the
Contents Of the box making a charge
themselves, for in the twinkling of the
extreme end of lambs backbone, no
less than several bald-headed, sweet
scented. mischievous monkeys had
Jumped from this Pandora's box and
had taken possession of the Office. 1t
seems that the intelligent Assistant Ex-
press Agent at some point had intended
to mark the box half-dozen gray apes,
but differing from Webster in his SPELL
ing, had thus caused the mistake and de-
tention Of a box Of supposed fruit, which
in reality was a consignment OF moral
monkeys for Dan Rice's show, and
which, instead of capering nimbly about
upon the backs Of the sacred cattle to
the lasciyious pleasing of cornopean at
Dams great show, had been wasting their
sweetness on the desert air until hunger
and thirst compelled raid upon the ex-
press Office. IlfI .li1 80 8I


But no time was lost The doors we're
secured, and armed with sticks Of sealing
wax-money packages, and c. o. d.
packages, the forces OF the company raj
lied, and a lively chase began. The
baboons chattered-the employees in
dulged themselves as did the army at
Flanders, and from one end Of the office
TO the other the tide of battle rolled,
while far above the din Of conflict could
be heard the voice Of Robinson giving
orders amid the crash Of falling boxes
and the smell Of singed hair as the apes
dashed over the candle for melting wax,


But the battle is not to the strong
If II had been the apes would have
carried the day--for the atmosphere was
filled with a mingled odor Of scorched
hair and polecat The leader Of the
What is its sat down in a pool Of
melted sealing wax, and in an instant
was rooted to the spot. A second was
demOralized BY quart bottle Of ink,
which. striking him upon the top knot
showed that if the leopard can't change
his sposs the monkey can. A third
aDe fell into the glue-pot, and
was dragged out BY the tail with
each nnrfcular hair standing on an
end elike the quills Of fretful porker
swine" going 70 the war, and the glue
sohdifying as i came IN contact with the