Year: 1875

From the Danbury News.


Owing to the thinness of the hay
crop not so many people will have a
finger in it when it is cut up, next
winter.


1t has been demonstrated in Dan
bury that it is easier to lug a double
barreled gun for ten hours over a
twelvemile swamp than to put up
clothes line,


Not all the melon patches in Dan
bury are next to the fence. Some of
them are under the coat tails of peo-
pie who failed to get over the fence in
time


Attempting to raise funds for the
completion of the Washington
monument, with bird seed ut twenty
two dollars bushel, is a piece of
absurdity.


"John," said fond wife, enthusias-
tically pointing out to her husband a
little shop on main street, ''when you
die, Pm going to take the insurance
an huy that little shop an set up
millinery"


We thought the plain, substantial
young men had disappeared. But
they haven't however. One Of them
still adorns Danbury. He gave his
girl the first cucumber of the sea-
son, and yesterday took her two
quarts of new potatoes. He doesn't
90 much ON boquets and ice cream,
but he knows good vegetable when
he sees it.


And now our postmaster smarts
under the tricks of fashion. He ap-
peared at the house of his assistant,
within fifteen minutes of the time for
closing the early morning mail, on
Wednesday last. He was in con-
siderable agitation. He had lost his
keys and must have his assistants.
The clerk went down to the office
with him, and on the way he told him
about the loss. He had the keys in
his pocket the night before, tor he
remembered that after he retired his
wife struck against the chair on
which were his pants, and overturn-
ed it, when the keys fell out on the
floor. He saw her pick them up and
put them back in the pocket. But IN
the morning they were gone. Some
one had broken in the house and
stolen the keys. As the same one
had taken nothing but the keys, it
was evidently his intention to rob the
post-oflice. There could be no doubt
of that. He almost smiled as he
thought of the futility he would
throw about that scheme. That
night he sat in a chair opposite the
entrance to the Office, with revolver
in each hand. He sat there until
daylight. But he was not disturbed.
The clerk suggested in the morning
that possibly the keys might have
been lost about his house. The post
master knew better.


"Have you searched all your pock-
ets?'' persisted the clerk.


II should say 1 had," replied the
chief running both hands dOwa into
his pants pockets, with a troubled
countenance.


Sand your hip-pocket, too?" sug-
gested the clerk, TO whom the pros
pect of sitting up all night impaired
degree of anxious interest.


Hip -pocketr' exclaimed the post
master, ''what's that?"


"Why at the back of your pants"


'sBack of my pants, mechanically
repeated the chief, running his hand
around there. "Back of my-eh.
Why. Great Mosesr' and as rapid
as these utterances were the varied
expressions which followed each other
across his face, as he brought out the
missing bunch of keys from the hid
den recesses of his first hip-pOcket.
Holding up the keys in view of the
gratified clerk, and feeling as careful
! ly of the back of his garment as IL Ii
had been a stone bruise instead oil
new pocket he was fondling' ne
hoarsely murmHred:


81 wouldn't have had that poeKes
put in there for fivehundred dollars


And his manner left no doubt oil
his sincerity.