Year: 1871

When I came down to MY breakfast
the other morning my smelling apparatus
informed me that something unusual was
going on in the way of preparations for
a good breakfast The smell of coffee
mingled with the grateful odor of wheat
cakes and deicately broiled steak and
chops, and fish, while dainty aroma Pc
culisr, but yet penetrating and grateful,
suggested to the imaginative soul a strong
suspicion of fried oysters. What was
the peculiar occasion which had caused
such delicate viands to displace our GUS
tomary hash and Goldfish balls, l d d not
know, but as my landlady has eight mar
riageable girls, and does her best to keep
them constantly before the board,rs, 1
naturally supposed that one OF their birth
days was to be celebrated, and that a
good breakfast was the beginning of the
ceremonials.


Seating myself at the table, and prepa-
ring to begin, I soon collected about my
hungry self steak, broiled fish, coffee, hot
biscuits, cakes, stewed potatoes, and
whatever else seemed to me to be the
proper constituents of good breakfast.
Alas alas alas took into my mouth
a fried oyster. 1t had queer taste, but
I thought that rather than transyress
good manners by eiecting it from my
mouth, would swallow it. 1 did swal-
low it, but concluded / wouldn't eat
anymore of those fried oysters.


then took piece OF steak-queer
taste again-swallowed steak, but took
no more steak.


Then asked for a piece of ish-queer
taste again-tried to swallow fish as per
previous programme, but an envious bone
stuck in my throat, and couldn't do it,
and out it came.


Then 1 took some biscuit and cup of
coffee queer taste about biscuit-and
was just about to blow up landlady for
buttering her biscuits with old butter,
when 1 was moved to take a mouthful
of coffee to take the taste out of my
mouth-queer taste about coffee queer
that out it came, without more ceremony,
and the fawn colored pants of Young
Binks, who sat next me suffered thereby
exceedingly.


Just then / noticed every one of the
eight daughters, and every one of the
eight boarder lovers seemed to be almost
choked with laughter. Concluded I
would not condescend to take notice of
the antics of set of ill-bred girls, and
SO turned my next attention to smoking
hot plate ofnicely Drowned griddle cakes,
which the servant just brought up. Ia
king a dozen or so on my plate I covered
them with butter, and then reached for
Jug, which had on the or,side most
conspicuous label which ann nounced that
the treacherous vessel contained "maple
syrup"


Drenching my cakes with the most de-
licious fluid, cut q huge mouthful which
I straightway deposited between my teeth
-queerer taste this time than ever be-
fore. No ceremony was to be observed
now, my mouth was burning up with the
fiery morsel, I could endure it not sec
ond longer. So disregarding all forms
of politeness, gave yell, q scream, a
screech, and out 1t came.


Then the eight girls, and all the boar
er chaps, the landlidy, and even the SER
want behind my chair, burst into huge
simultaneous roar of laughter.


While the tears ran down my cheeks
from the burning dose 1 had tried to
swallow, bigger tears yet ran down their
faces from the grand joke which pleased
them so much, which could not see the
fun OF. Knocking down the waiter behind
me, End dragging the table cloth and