smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1875

The London correspondent of the In
ternational Gazette, of Berlin, says: The
Queen commanded Captain Boyton to
appear before her at the Isle OF Wight,
and the American wave-de6er, with the
readiness of an out-and-out monarchy
man, very properly obeyed the royal
ummOns-stood not on the order of his
going, but went at once. Her Majesty,
with her two unmarried children, from
the decks Of her royal yacht, 10 the river
Medina, saw him float, paddle, eat, drink
and smoke, and read his newspaper.
She was delighted with bis performances
and gave an order for a suit of india
rubber, and now that the highest lady in
the laDd has set the example orders will
pour in upon the commercial department
of Captain Boyton's staff. Boyton is a
lucky fellow. He has without any
trouble secured what hundreds of enter
prising people would give finger, arm,
leg, aye, even head to obtain, the magic
aid of royal patronage. Captain Boy
ton is fine, frank-looking young fellow,
who pretends to no manner of what is
called culture, who acts rather than
talks, and who pleads guilty only to a
Newfoundland dog love for the briny
deep. He went down to Osborne, and
amused the court ladies and gentlemen
by his homely fashion of talk. A
man who, when asked question
by Princess Beatrice, answers by
an innocent Yes, Miss" ought to
get on in the world, and am
further told that the Queen laughed out
right when at the close of her interview
with him, the New Jersey humanitarian
said he hoped her Majesty would over
look any defections in etiquette on his
part on the plea, "You see, Madame, it
is not TO be expected I'm posted up in
this business. An amusing story comes
TO me on good authority that when on
Sunday Lady Churchill, lord or two,
and brace of generals from Osborne
called upon Boyton at his hotel in East
Cowes, the worthy young man backed to
the fireplace, laid his hand upon the
bell-handle, and Hospitality and politely
asked them what they wovld be pleased
to take to drink. When Boyton returned
to town be could talk of nothing but his
amszement at the Queens appearance.
What he expected to see he did not say;
but he certainly did not anticipate, he
says, seeing a short, stout, motherly
woman, more plainly dressed than any
of her servants. When he walked to the
Alberta's quarterback be was about to
pay his homage to fine, grandly-dressed
maid OF honor, quite overlooking the
kindly lady behind and around whom
bareheaded courtiers bent low At the
close Of the performance Boyten was
summoned second time to the royal
presence, and stalked aft-just out Of
his shell-his big, good-humorel face
beaming like full moon, and his hair
sticking bolt on end like an angry hearth


broom.
Year: 1875

SOME curious customs are still extant
in the Spreawald villages in Weadish,
Prussia, when the head of a family dies.
For instance, if the deceased should have
CHANGED to be bee keeper, one Of the
family will go to the hive, and, striking
the comb. will exclaim, Bees, arise,
your master is dead" On the morning
Of the funeral, too, the men proceed to
the cattle sheds, and after causing the
animals to get upon their legs, and plac-
ing cheese before them, will solemnly an
nounce to them that the body Of their
master is to be taken away.
Year: 1875

AMAN who had been in the Auburn
On. " State Prison for twelve years,
and whose term Of service had expired,
liked his quarters so well that he refascd
to go out; nor did the jalor know how to
get rid of him. So he was sent out with
broom TO sweep the sidewalk, when
they locked the jail door upon him. Aft
er many attempts to break in, he was
compelled soTowfully to seek otherquar-
tors
Year: 1875

ALcIDIADEs had shrewd way of di-
verting attention from his vices. He
gave 20 mime (about 81, 400 for dog Of
remarkable size and beauty and generally
admired for his tail. He cut the tail off,
and when his friends scolded him and
said everybody was vexed about the dog
and abusing him, he answered with a
laugh: THAT is what want; l wish
them to talk about this that they may
say nothing worse about me.u
Year: 1875

TALK about stamina in female charac-
ter But there is q mother in Detroit
who will cit on the corner Of the bureau
and read dime novel half way through
before she becomes aware that her baby
has been bowling for thirty-fve minutes.
Year: 1875

ONE Of the indirect advantages of an
animated political canvass is instanced
in the case of n candidates wife who
bases her application for n divorce upon
the accounts of her husbands private
character, published in the opposition
Dapnrs
Year: 1875

Two DAyENPoRT girls attempted the
other day to discover what men find so
attractive in cigars and whisky. Rctir-
ing TO their bed room, they prepared
themselves for the spree, but brought the
experiment to an end by trying the cigars
frat
Year: 1875

AN exchange says: We shall bail
the day of female suffrage, for then the
monotony Of seeing a rooster at the head
of every victorious newspaper will be re
lieved by an occasional interposition Of n
hon -
Year: 1875

A CIRCUIT preacher in Missouri prayed
at farmers house ono night for rain and
{ ie farmer who had arranged fora horse
race the next day was SO mad that he
turned the good cid man out Of doors.
Year: 1875

Since Mr. Van Buren, made his south
ern tour, preceding the meeting Of the
Convention in 1871, candidates for the
Presidency who followed in his wake
have almost uniformly been unfortu-
nate. 1t is true Mr.. Greeley, in 1872,
was successful in securing a nomination,
but it was in the face of protest from
some of the delegations present, and
Notwithstanding he was everywhere re-
eeiyed in the most hospitabie manner
and his speeches were frequently loudly
applauded, he was not accepted as a fit
person to elevate to the Presidency. Mr..
Greeley and some Of his friends, us did
the friends OF Mr.. Van Buren, evidently
misunderstood the hospitality of the
people. While they were willing to ac-
cord cordial welcome to distinguish
ed citizen, or to high official, it did not
follow that they were willing to accept
him as q ruler. And now we have Vice
President Wilson, once an eminent anti
slavery leader, making tour; and the
same mistake is likely to follow. The
people have received Mr.. Wilson with
all kindness. He is the Vice President
OF the Republic. Some of them desire
to honor the Office through the respect
paid to him; others desire to show him
respect simply to prove that they harbor
n hostility on account of the war, OF to
him for his political views. But his
fnerds will not discriminate, and he
himself will be led to believe that the
present demonstration is an expression
In favor of him for the Presidency, and
like MIR. Van Buren, he will most proba.
blV be deceived; or if nominated will he
dictated as bad as ever a man was fo,
tn high position he seeks. The people
canaot afford to elect another Republican
to tile Presidency. They demand Reform
aud hetrenchment, and that they know
I ey cannot get with the old corrupt
p 'fty In power. A new man is needed
" o will be able to select men with un.
ttrnished regulations TO fill the Offices
Aud MIR. Wilson might just as well cease
his efforts in pursuit of the Presidency
unless he prefers the nomination witt
certain defeat staring him in the face tc
r9tnlns from his present position on til,
iturels he has already won and weal,
with somewhat becoming grace.
Year: 1875

The Terre Haute Journal has an ar
ticle on this subject, from which we clip
the following:


The interest on Sc, 900 is equal to the
average wages of a man. To own $4,000
is better than to owns s. man, for the
money does not die.-And he who has
Sc, 900 under our present money system,
own a man, for somewhere a man is
working to pay the interest. Commodore
Vanderbilt, with his eighty millions,
owns thirteen hundred men.


While the wealth of the country is
increasing at the rate about four per
cent per annum, capital exacts tribute
of not less than fifteen per cent on an
average. If this process continues, all
of the property of the country will be
in the hands of the capitalists inside Of
twenty years. The result is just as easi-
ly demonstrated as the multiplication
table. Under our present system the
poor are steadily getting poorer and the
rich richer. With four per cent earnings
and fifteen per cent cost 1t follows that
somebody sinks eleven per cent, year,
and that somebody is always the produc-
er. This would make collapse once in
about eight years, but for various rea-
sons parics have been spread about ten
years apart, usually. The fact that
We have not had a disastrous panic
since the suspension of specie payment
is because our greatly increased VOL
ume of currency has bridged the
pbasn
Year: 1875

A most malicious, mischievous and
daring theft occurred at the residence of
a Fifth avenue merchant, at Oakland, a
few afternoons ago, whereby fascinat
ing and pretty damsel lost luxurious
head of natural golden hair. She was a
guest at her friends house, and after a
dinner nap arose to find herself as desti-
tute of hair as an infant. She was fright
ened at her own appearance, and alarm
ed the household with her screams of
terror and lamentation. A thorough
search of the dwelling was fruitless, nor
was any trace discovered of the stolen
hair. The affair is involved in mystery.
No stranger was seen about the premises
that day, and the girl was entirely un-
conscious of the malicious theft until
the discovery of her loss was made. 1t
is conjectured that she was drugged, and
that no Impractical hand performed the
operation. A singular feature of the
mystery is that whoever committed the
theft seemed only to covet the golden
ringlets, as an abundance of valuable
jewelry and small sum of money on an
uncovered table in the room remain un-
touched This latter circumstance leads
to the further conjecture that some jeal-
GUS girl sought, in this more despicable
than romantic way, to deface the beauty
of the afflicted damsel by robbing her Of
its conspicuous glory.-[Pittsburg Gaz-
affo
Year: 1875

The chief place of the manufacture of
marbles-those little pieces of stone
which contribute so largely to the en-
joyment of boys-is at Oberstein, on the
Nahe, in Germany, where there are
large agate mills and quarries the refuse
of which is turned to good paying ac-
count by being made into small balls,
employed by experts to knuckle with,
and are mostly sent to the American
market. The substance used in Saxony,
is hard, calcareous stone, which is first
broken into blocks, nearly square, by
blows with a hammer. These are
thrown by the hundred or two into a
small sort of mill, which is formed of a
fat, stationary slab of stone, with a
number of eccentric burrows upon its
face. A block of oak, or other hard
wood, of the diametric size, Is placed
over the stones and partly resting upon
them. The small block of wood is
kept revolving while water flows upon
the stone slab. In about fifteen minutes
the stones are tarned into spheres, and
then, being fit for sale, are henceforth
called marbles. One establishment,
with but three mills turns out sixty
thousand marbles each week.
Year: 1875

Each one of us has different Satan.
Satan comes to one man in the form Of
idleness, and makes him waste day after
day, year after year, until he has wasted
his whole life doing nothing. Satan
comes to another man as work, and
makes him destroy himself in the oppo-
site way, wearing out prematurely his
brain and his body. He comes to an
other as Christian zeal, and the man be-
comes bigot, full of fire for the Lord;
but the Lord he serves is God of wrath,
a God who cares for triAes, God who
prefers sacrifice to mercy. He comes to
another as charity, but it il a charity
which tolerates evil and lets it alone,
which has no edge to it, no courage; an
indolent charity, which is not love at
all, but only easy good nature. So he
disguises himself as an angel of light,
calling himself patriotism when he
wishes to make nations hate each other;
calling himself Christianity when he
wishes to make men persecute each 9th
er; calling himself honesty when he
wishes to encourage a man in his rude
and overbearinig ways; and so on, chang
ing himself into every virtue and every
grace.-[Jame Freeman Clarke.
Year: 1875

The Sanitarian says that in cases Of
bad scaIds of children, in which large
part of the body is involved, il knows
of no dressing as good as a bran bed
that is, a bed Of bran in which the epa-
tient may lie, and be covered with a
thick investment of the same. This
dressing has the advantage of not re-
quiring change, for each day as the
moist particles fall off they can be re-
placed with fresh bran without disturb
ing the patient. One of the severest
cases of scald recovered by this treat
ment. A great deal of harm is done to
patients by frequent dressings, and
any method that obviates this is
most desirable. Patients frequently
are exposed for hours to the act
ion of the air, suffering unnecessary
pain by the old and tedious process Of
dressing. The air itself does no injury,
hut the extreme hyperethesia of the
skin produces a state Of nervous tremor
which leads to exhaustion.
Year: 1875

A singular case of death from care
less use of poision, lately occurred in
Elmira. A blacksmith, named Wilder,
after a season of drinking, went into a
drug store and called for an ounce of
hydrate of chloral, which was properly
labeled and given him. He went home,
put the entire ounce in a glass of water,
and drank it down, with view to have
a good sleep and recovering from the
effects of his drinking. Hardly had he
touched the bed ere his wife noticed a
strange look upon his face, and hasten
ed to his side. Said he: "SallY, it's no
use, I've made q mistake, and am dead
man." In twenty minutes from the
time he took the mixture he was a
corpse. Five grains of hydrate chloral
is safe dose for q person wishing to
sleep. but this man took an ounce, four
hundred and eighty grains at once, and
paid the penalty.
Year: 1875

A Wisconsin lumber camp holds from
twenty to forty men, and their work be-
gins in the fall, as soon as the swamps
are solidly frozen over. The rude road
from civilization to the camp is first
made. The force is divided into chop
pers, who fell the trees; sawyers. who
cut the trunks into the requisite lengths;
swampers, who with oxen drag the logs
to the banks of the river, and cooks,
who procure and cook the food. The
logs are put on the ice, with the mark of
the owners cut into them, where they re-
main until the spring breakup. Men
called scalers are employed Jointly by
the buyers and sellers of the lumber,
their duty being to cut into each log
figures denoting its available size for
squared timber. Camp life is rude and
laborious, and affords the lumbermen
little time to enjoy the pastime of hunt
ing, which the cooks must necessarily
indulge in. Upon the first indications
of thaw in the spring the camps are
hurriedly abandoned, because the
swamps are not inhabitable when not
solidly frozen. Driving" the logs to
market down the swollen streams is the
next and exciting WORK, as in clearing
the way in cases of ''jams" the lumber
men have to step from log to log in the
swift currents. At point where the
water becomes deep enough RATS are
made of the logs, and shanties are built
on them to accommodate the raftsmen.


At "the BOOM" near Oshkosh, the logs
are assorted according to the owners
marks, and there is said to be vast
amount of dishonest dealing by men
who obliterate or change the brands.
Year: 1875

Observations regarding the growth of
man have determined the following
facts: The most rapid growth takes
place Immediately after birth, the
growth of an infant during the first year
of its existence being about eight inches.
This ratio of increase gradually de-
creases until the age of three years is
reached, at which time the size attained
is half that which il is to become when
full grown. After five years the suc-
ceeding increase is very regular till the
sixteenth year. being at the rate, for the
average man, of two inches year. Be
yond sixteen the growth is feeble, being
for the following two years about six
tenths OF an inch year; while from
eighteen to twenty the increase in height
is seldom over one inch. At the age of
twenty-five the growth ceases, save in n
few exceptional cases.
Year: 1875

Here is what TOOK place in a New Or
leans street car a few days ago: A fop-
pish young man, plentifully supplied
with brass and money, entered the car,
the only other occupant being an ex-
ceedingly pretty young lady, an enntire
stranger to him. Presently pale faced
little boy entered with basket of 1ow-
ers for sale. The fop directed him to
pass the basket to the young lady and
permit her to help herself. She took
all the flowers, and the young man
thought he had made an impression.
The young lady waited till the little boy
had got his pay and departed, when she
quietly rose and threw the flowers into
the street. Astonishing how smart these
girls arel
Year: 1875

1t should be borne in mind that your
burglar is not only a dangerous but an
exceedingly difficult beast to capture,
and to rush upon him nnprepared is as
unsportsman like as to dash at ferocions
grizzly on the plains with the intention
of catching him by putting salt on his
stump of a tail. In trapping your burg.
lar let every advantage be on your side.
Judge Van Brunt, OF Long Island, who
ended the career Of the supposed alb
ductors Of Charlie Ross, had a very good
idea of the business; but, as he had as
sistance, the case can scarcely be quoted
as one for a model. In the majority Of
cases it is one man, unaided, who must
contrive 70 take in the robher or robbers.
One principle Of the business Van Brunt
understood, though; it was-this: Do not
seek to capture your burglar alive.


There is no occasion TO take a burglar
alive, and such thing is undesirable


from every point Of view. lie deserves
no quarter, for he is n murderer-hi
profession implying the commission Of a
murder, if Decessary.-[St. Louis Re
Year: 1875

Mark Twair, in letter to the inven-
tor of a mosquito net, talks in this way
about, the only thing worth talking
about, now that the third term ia
gone: "There is nothing that a just
and right feeling man rejoices in more
than to see mosquito imposed on and
put down and browbeaten and aggravat-
ed, and this ingenious contrivance will
do it. And it is rare thing TO worry q
fly with, too. A fly will stand off and
curse this invention till language utter
ly fails him. / have seen them do it
hundreds of times. like to dine in the
air on the back porch in Summer, and
so won2d not be without this portable
net for anything. When you get it
hoisted the flies have to wait for the sec
ond table. We shall see the Summer
day come when we shall sit under our
nets in church and slumber peacefully,
while the discounted flies club together
and take it out of the minister. There
are heaps of ways of getting priceless
enjoyment out of these charming things,
if had time to point them out and di-
late on them little"
Year: 1875

A woman may be of great assistance
to her husband in business, by wearing
a cheerful countenance. A mans per-
plexities and gloominess are increased
hundred fold when his better r-half moves
about with a continual scowl upon her
brow.
Year: 1875

Josh Billings gives the following ad-
vice: "When you hear a man say Life
is but dream tread on his toes and
wake him up. Life is real. life is earn
est II he is poet, subscribe to get
rid of him, and have him deposited in
the far West with gun and ammuni-
ton, and blanket for sole covering; he
will know very soon whether life is
dream or not"
Year: 1875

If you get fish bone in your throat,
and sticking fast there, swallow an egg
raw: il will be almost sure TO carry down
bone easily and certainly. When, as
sometimes by accident, corrosive subli-
mate is swallowed, the white of one or
two eggs will neutralize the poison, and
change the effect to that Of a dose Of cal
omel.
Year: 1875

A Boston letter to an Eastern news
paper relates that upon one of the fash
ionable South End squares of that city
there has lived in four story brick
house, until very lately, woman who
has hired for her servant her own sister.
The latter was treated in all respects as
a menial, and though the woman and
her husband, having no children, dined
alone when there was no company in
the house, they never permitted the sis
ter to sit with them. Not only this,
but the sister-servant was kept at work
from early till late, and there was no
such thing as leisure for her, or a parLi-
Gle of consideration due from one so
nearly related to her. Finally, the wo-
man moved out of town, and the sister
determined to find an easier place. Ac-
cordingly she engaged to go to a sum-
mer resort as a pastry-cook in a fash
ionable boarding house. Now, it has
transpired that her sister and former
mistress has engaged board for the warm
season not only at this very resort, but
also at the very house where her sister
is to furnish the daily pies and puddings.
Year: 1875

SEVERAL papers in this State are
advocating the abolishment Of the
office of County Treasurer. They
argue that the funds could be deposit
ed in banks or with other parties who
would give bonds for the safe keeping
of the funds. 1t would be good
thing for some banks, which would
manage to keep the money SO very
safe that the people would never see
it again. We had rather have the
bonds of Treasurer than those of
banks that would be created for the
solepurpose of becoming the deposit
tory of the county funds. But why
start in so low down the list? There
are any number of banks who would
be too happy to take charge Of the
national funds and the money in the
State Treasury might be deposited and
lost in the same way. Reform such
as doing away with County Treasurers
will materially assist in the work of
robbing the people,
Year: 1875

embracing every climate from the
torrid to the frigid zone, abounding In
the elementsof every wealth that con-
tributes to the comfort and happiness
of man, with an industrious, intelli-
gent and energetic people to develop
them, and, until recently, occupyinga a
front rank among the nations of the
earth; with sound credit; mercan-
tile marine that whitened every sea
with its sails and formidable navy
to protect it, and with an
industrious, prosperous and con-
tented people. And what are
we to-day? A divided people; an i'm
beetle Government, whose only policy
seems to be to maintain itself in power
by keeping open or widening the
breach, an enormous debt and without
credit; decayed mercantile marine
and no navy to protect it; an army
used to intimidate the people and con-
troll elections instead of garrisoning
our forts and protecting our frontiers;
a swarm of x-gatherers, whose i'm
mense draughts upon the people are
swallowed up intermediately or by
political vampires at Washington; an
empty treasury, and discomfort and
paralyzatiou in every branch of in
dustry, and without single measure
emanating from the Government cal


culated to arrest our downward pro-
press. But, says the partizan, this
picture is too dull and dreary; let's
seek repose beneath the philosophy of
TooTs! Will they, confining them
selves to truth and fact, draw fairer
one? If they can we will turn our
face to the wall and thenceforward
seek inspiration from theirs. Nor has
private enterprise escaped the effects
of the general decentralization of the
government. Place upon the Euro
pean market the most plausible local
enterprise, and how is it received?
We have confidence, say they, in the
plausibility of the project-it will open
up to settlement and commerce vast
regions Of country, and will pay well
upon the investment, and we have
confidence in your energy and good
faith, but we have lost confidence in
your Government and we cannot em-
bark in the enterprise. Do we want
further proof of this than the fact that
gold is.quoted at a premium of 1es per
cent. in New York. But we must
patiently await the ides of November,
'76, the centennial anniversary of the
birth of the Nation, by which time the
people will be fully prepared to speak,
and political warehouses of both par
ties invited to take back seat.