Year: 1872

Lost, on or about the first instant, a
powerful feroeious black bull dog, known
as the Capital dog" fifteen hands high !;
bad on brass collar marked Irresponsible
Editor" will come when called VI th raw
beefsteak. Any one returning him at the
back door of this Office will be magnificent
ly rewarded. Knock hard.


The above advertisement was originally
intended for the usual department for such
notices, but meeting Of the stock holders
Of this select family journal have decided to
place it where it will be sure of the public
eye and attention.


Yes, gentle reader, we have lost our dog
and if that unapproachable canine is not
brought back by the police, or battalion
of Company A, or somet ing, we give notice
that our type and fixtures will be for sale
low. It's all very well to talk, but we've
tried it and We can't get along without that
dog, that's all there is about it,
1t will doubtless surprise the religious
reader, but about every third person who
drops in upon the editors of this our singu
larly consecutive and pacific sheet inquiries
for the irresponsible Editor" and has a
club up his sleeve or gun under his coat
Now one can very soon get used to the
report of pistol and that sort of thing
Constant practice can accustom one to the
sobs of widows and the racket OF a coron-
er's jury. 1t isn't so much that, but when
the press has got to be stopped every few
hours to 90 to the funeral Of one Of the
Assistant Subs, why you can't make thing
90 at all. A fellow can't stand the inter
ruption.


But, of course, after we got the dog
aforesaid, everything went like clockwork.
Whenever we called prominent cit'ze a
Glow lived liar" or "putretying perjurer,"
and the party dropped around to see about
it, all we had to do was to point to the
door with Irresponsible Editor" on it, and
then lock it after the victim when he went
in.


The dog was in there


Obviously all that remained was to wait
till groans ceased, and then send the devil
in to shake the remains through the ash
sitter so as to save the studs and cuff
buttons


We don't want to lose that dog il we can
help it. We had no end of trouble in train
ing that animal when he was puppy, and
especially in getting him savage enough


At first we had to begin with the smallest
newsboys sprink led with gun powder, and it
was nearly eighteen months before he dis
played real, downright relish for even
delinquent subscribers And now we have
it all TO 60 over again like as not. It's
true that he ran away once before, but then
be dragged off hand press he was chained
to, and we captured him as he tried to get
through the Treasury railing.


We want that dog, We do.


We shall never forget his playful ways
as long as we live, never. he funny lit
tie ways he had-for instance, of breaking
up the de- ks to get at the editors lunch.
And then the time he kept the new base
ball editor perched on hot sto, epipe all
night under the impression that he was
General Dent, or somebody Itwas mighty
lucky the fire had nearly gone out, or he
would have had to get his pants reseated,
anyhow. We have kept the menagerie
carefully locked up ever since; but it seems
that this time our treasure escaped by dig
ging down through the floor We thought
tie charnel house had been very quiet for
day or so but when Bap ist collecting
agent and colored Democrat, whom we
had sent in the den about feeding time the
Other day, came out unharm d and asked
how deep the artesan we'll was to be, we
knew at once that something had happened
The faithful animal had evidently burrowed
after rat until he got down to the Seneca
stone formation, where he couldn't turn
round, and so had to keep on III ht through.
At any rate, we have kept boy whistliDg
at the hole for week without effect, and
have let down shin bone with forty faith
oms of~rline attached, without the first nib
Bile as yet.


How far down he's going we can't say,
but if he don't strike off or switch of into
the Comstock lode, we suppose he will
crawl out through one of Capron's celestial
turnip gardens, and come home on the
Union Pacific pass, dead head. If not, it's
going to be lively for the Mongolian's fami-
ly whose cellar he comes out in, that's all.
As we used to approach to feed this
cheerful terrier on iron plated stills ten fe t
high, we would con6dentially advise our
paying subscribers and advertisers who
may work for the reward to make their
advances from the top of a lamp post or an
awning, say


Bring him back to us. somebody, lease,
and we will pay the reward to the widow
=. rom Don Piatt's Capital