smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1871

Every human physical lump on the
lace Nv this earth IL susceptible tcw fiat
terry sum yu kan daub it ON with Il
white wash brush, while others must
hay it sprinkled on them ike the dew
upon flowers.
Year: 1871

An Indiana sheriff, taking horse
thief TO State prison, fell asleep in the
railroad car, and when he woke up the
prisoner was gone. He thinks he must
have got off at a station for drink, and
got left.
Year: 1871

The Topeka (Kansas) Record narrates the following, which goes to show that the Kansas girl alluded to has pluck and perseverance, if not discretion

 "As a gentleman was coming into town the other day on the Wakarusa road, he noticed young girl on pony. Pretty soon the pony began to display bad temper, and very shortly afterwards threw the girl, who turned somersault in the air and struck on her head in the road with terrific force. The gentleman got out of his buggy and went to her assistance. He found she had got bad fall, and had @ cut across her forehead. He advised her to abandon pony riding for the present, but she wiped the blood from her face, and insisted upon mount ing her fract1cus steed again. Anxious for her safety, her friend watched fer future developments, and in a few min utes she was hurled over the pony's head, and this time she struck the ground with such force that he thought she must have broken every bone in her body. The pony took the opportunity to gallop off, She was again helped to her feet, half stunned and covered with dust, and urged to abandon riding such a fractious brute; but clutching her riding whip, she started off in pursuit of the pony, evidently determined to ride him, or get her neck broken in the at tempt. She was apparently about SIX teen years of ago."
Year: 1871

A paper that takes-A sheriff's war. rant.

 Any two apples are alike if they are pared.

 Advice to persons meditating law Keep your own counsel.

 The man who was injured by burst of applause, is recovering.

 The lady that took everybody's eye, must have had quite a lot of them.

 The man who was all ship-shape must have seemed little out of proportion.

 To young campaigners-If your tent is not waterproof you should pitch 1t.

 If virtue is its own reward, there will be persons who will have little enough.

 The young woman who marries an un- worthy man takes her lords name in vain.

 "That's my business l" as the butcher said to the dog that was killing hls sheep.

 Two long curls on each side are to take the place of the curls at the back that have been worn so long by the ladies.

 Demi-trains are to be adjusted for street-wear by means of tapes to loop them up to the waist at the back seams.

 A New Jersey woman discovered her lost little boy in Gipsy camp, and att tempting to recover him, was assaulted and beaten off by the outlaws. The child begged to be allowed to go with his mother.

 A Berkshire papa observed to his dauohter's beau "Jim if you want Lu YOU can have her but don't want you hanging around here unless you mean business. If you intend to marry her, hurry up, for,,I can't be kept awake nights much longer"

 Saratoga girls are organizing an anti kissing society. Recently the rules of the society imposed fine of one dollar for each kiss bestowed on the masculine gender. At the end of a week some of those girls were actually indebted to the society in sums ranging from $o to 1925. The association will disband.

 The proprietor of beer-garden and billiard-saloon in Cincinnati was brought before the police-court for keeping his place open on Sunday, but the court held that, inasmuch as he was an Israel ite who faithfully observed the seventh day of the week as the Sabbath, no conviction could be had under the stat utes.

 A few months ago the Antwerp papers reported that the " Wandering Jew" had reappeared and been spoken to in that city. The tradition of centuries IS that the visits of that mythical parsonage always precede wsr or pestilence and the superstitious are now connecting the outbreak of cholera in Belgium with the recent visitation of the wanderer. There is something remarkable in the vitality of this ridiculous tradition.
Year: 1871

IT Is WEI1.-The arrest of the owners of the steamer Ocean Wave, lately wrecked by explosion in Mobile Bay, and of the negligent U. s. Inspector, is another wholesome proceeding which marks the revulsion of feeling against the old-time verdict of 's Nobody to blame." It is likely that those men think it hard to be made the victims of popular indignation but steamboat and railroad men cannot go on forever killing people with perfect immunity.-M F. Poper.
Year: 1871

Black cashmere is more used for travel ing dresses than any other material.

 Some very elegant silk dresses are elaborately trimmed with fine muslin embroidery.

 Ruches of tulle and ruff1es of Swiss muslin are more worn for the neck and sleeves of dresses than formerly.

 Some very pretty sacks are made of the white Persian towels, and trimmed with black velvet are very stylish.

 A new style of bracelet is of tortoise shell made very wide and ornamented in front with large monogram in gold.

 Feathers have become quite an expen- sive item in the toilette, as the hand some ones cost from twelve to twenty dollars.

 For ladies who admire large earrings, a new style is the head of stuffed hum ming bird with diamond eyes, inclosed in wide hoop of furnished gold. They are very odd and showy.

 Many dandies have taken to wearing costly lace cravats, which looks very effeminate and in bad taste. They also propose wearing small feathers or wings in the side of the low felt hats. What next

 Old faces have become worth their weight in gold and are largely sought for, the present fashion of loose sleeves and open bodices rendering it necessity to exhibit handsome lace and embroidery.
Year: 1871

TORPEDO BoATs.-Three torpedo-boats for the German fleet are now in the course of construction at Dantzic. They are built almost entirely of iron, and being about sixty feet long and only six or seven broad, they have nearly the form of fish. The deck of each boat is to be convex, so as to be but little ex- posed to damage from the enemy's shot, and the rudder is at the bow, where there is Q small opening about an inch wide to serve as @ lookout for the steersman. The boats are propelled by screws, the power for which will be fur nished by miniature engines. Petroleum is to be used as fuel.
Year: 1871

Foon AND HIS MoNEY.-A Paris paper says that a rich American has offered to rebuild the Tuileries solely at his own expense, on condition that one of the wings of the new building shall receive his name, and that as long as he lives he shall be allowed an apartment in it look ing out on the gardens, and an invitation to all the ceremonies which shall ever be given in the palace by any government which may be in power there.
Year: 1871

We publish this morning a special despatch
from Raleigh, North Carolina, announcing tha
conviction Of Governor Holden by the State
Senate. From the time the trial, which has
just terminated, began, the Impression pre-
vailed that the accused official had no chance
Of Obtaining a verdict Of acquittal and tho
result has not disappointed public expectation.
What mas surprised us is the announcement
that some of tho republican Senators voted
for conviction, while some OF The democrats
voted to acquit. Unless this was proarrangei
it relieves the conviction from the charge Of
partisanship and gives it something more than
semblance Of inpartiality. And it must be
said that while the evidence brought forward
by Governor Holden exhibited a deplorablc
state of aflairs in North Carolina, which must
have provoked him to arbitrary acts, it is
none the less true that the evidence against
him developed the most shocking brutality on
the part OF his snbordiuates, his responsibility
for which Is doubtless the cause of his con-
viciion.


The sentence of Governor Holden is ex-
ceedingly severe. He is not only deposed
from Office, but he is declared forever
Ineligible to Offices Of cmolument and trust.
Thus, by singular reTersion of fortune, the
Ex-Governor finds himself more absolutely
disfranchised than any Of the ex-rebel leaders
whose rehabilitation il their political rights
aad privileges he so streauously opposed.
II is noteworthy fact, also, that Governor
Holden is the first chief magistrate Of State
in this republic found guilty on articles of inn
peachment and subjected to the fall penalty
Of the law. TO many it may appear that tha
provocation he received atoned in part for
bis offences, but it is q mistaken public policy
which punishes evil doing with evil doing i
aud, though the precedent furnished by Cow
erncr Holden's conviction is most regretabls,
if il teaches other Governors lesson Of
moderation and forbeararce it will be produce
tive of some good to the peace and quiet Of
the country. In conclusion, it is TO be hoped
that now Governor Holden has been put cut
Of the way the Ku KluX Klan and other dis4
orderly and runianly characters of North
Carolina will give their State tranquility, and
instead Of engaging in murderous occupations
settle down to tho profitable employment Of
culiiyatirg peanuts ana manufacturing tar.
Year: 1871

Our readers were no doubt little astonshed
yesterday, in perusing the HERALD's graphic
report of the marriage of the Princess Louise
with The Marquis Of I.orn, at the non-appear-
ance Of the names of the male members of the
Queens family as participants in the august
ceremonies. The whole affair seems to have
been arranged by the ladies of the royal circle,
with the good and motherly Queen herself as
mistress of the occasion. Now i. will be Curl
ous to know what caused the absence Of the
male scions of the house of Guelph on this in
teresting event. Where was the Prince of
Wales? Where was Prince Alfred? Where
was Prince Arthur? II is no answer to say


that either of them was abroad (and we believe
Prince Alfred is at sea in some part Of the
world, for the nuptials Of sister of the blood


royal should have been fixed for day upon
which the entire family could have been


present-had they wished to be. Was the


match considered by these young princes an


unsuitable one because the bridegroom did not
come Of royal stock? If any reason like this
prompted Their absence we must say 1t was


unworthy Of them as men, to say nothing of
it as the act of those pluming themselves upon


being princes among men. The day of this
kind Of snobbishness has gone by. The Queen
mother acted like mother and as q Queen
| among mothers in giving away one of her be-
! loved daughters to the man of her choice,
albeit that man was subject of her Majesty.
She will receive the praise Of all mankind for
| her noble conduct in the present instance,
| while the pride of her sons will surely be


huinblei in the end Again we ask, "Where
| were those boys?"
Year: 1871

The tenor Of the latest dispatches received
from France indicates that the lull In the revo-
luton is about to give way to activity. Both
sides manifest little or no disposition to yield
NJ. Theirs has addressed another circular to
the projects, giving favorable report of the
situation, and asserting that the government
and the National Assembly ore rapidly becom-
ing masters of events. A proclamation is to
be issued warning the insurgents to lay down
their arms, although M. Theirs announces
that he will not declare war against them
until instructed to do so by the As
sembly. When this instruction will be given
is matter Of doubt, as the proceedings Of the
Assembly are lacking In decision. All it has
done thus far has been to approve proclama-
ton condemning the insurrection and appeal
ing to tho troops and citizens to rally and save
TIC republic; which means that the Assembly
is anything but assured Of its power. Armed
assistance has, it is true, been offered by all the
departmental authorities, but as these officials
are appontees Of NJ. Theirs they could not very
well make any other offer. OF more siguii-
cance Is the announcement of the provincial
protests against revolution and declarations Of
adhesion to the government.


While the Versailles authorities are resoly-
ing and proclaiming the insurgents in Paris
are acting as well as proclaiming. They have
occupied all the Notifications on the west side
Of Paris but unless they can get possession
of Fort Mont Valdricn they will be unable to
hold them. The Central Republican Com
miltee have declared that they viii hold the
communal elections without the co-ope-
ration of the Mayors of Paris, and their
newspaper organ denounces the National AS
sembly as narrow-minded aud rural" and
as incompetent to act, being elected tunder
pressure" Altogether it is becoming more
evident that the crisis must attain its height
before many days, when one side or the other
must back down or come TO blows. Such is
the conclusion at which we arrive from pc
rusal Of the despa ches received from France
this morning up to the hour Of going to press.
Year: 1871

been any reason to fear the surplus money in
the Treasury would be wanted. Had the
Treasury been emptied any time during the
last few years there would have been month
OF two after surplus again, so fast and con-
slant has been the stream of incoming revenue.
No business man of the most ordinary capacity
would have been guilty Of such folly In the
management of his funds. No one would
have locked up his money when he could have
drawn good interest from it. The pretext that
large reserve of gold was necessary to keep
down the premium Is fallacious. The diffu-
sion Of 1t through the currents Of trade would
have had better effect. Mr.. Boutwell, Is q
failure as finance minister, and if General
Grant would consolidate the republicans of all
sections and save the West from going over to
the democrats, the sooner he invites the Secre-
tary to retire the better, both for himself and
his party,
Year: 1871

WAR HoEoRs-B1sMARoK AND MoLrKE.
Our news Of this morning shows that the
Emperor William is magnanimous ia The hour
of victory. All the world knows that the
Prnssian system is SLOW to honor merit. All
the honor and glory belong to the crown
But oil men everywhere know that two men
have made tbs Emperor William what be is.
These two men are Bismarck and Moltke.
The one has been to him and Germany
many shlilful right arm. We are glad to
learn that Bismarck Is TO be Prince of the
German empire, and that Moltke is 10 be
adorned with the badge of the Grand Cross of
The Order of the Iron Cross.
Year: 1871

LORD SALISBURY on ENoLAED's PosITIoN -
We publish in another page of the HERALD
this morning the substance Of the speech Of
Lord Salisbury, delivered before the House
of Lords on the evening Of the 9th, on
the position Of England with foreign ma
tions. His lordship expresses himself fully
conscious Of the inability of England, with
its existing military strength, to meet any of
the three great Powers Of the Earth, Russia,
Prussia or the United States Even with the
augmentation recently proposed to the British
army, England will still be far behind the
great European nations whose military
strength at the present day is sufficient to be
the cause Of uneasiness to that eight little
island which is only separated from the Con-
tinent by a ''streak of silver sea"
Year: 1871

The Bantam Republics or Central america.


BY telegram from Kingston, Jamaica, we
have later advices from Panama, and learn,
without surprise, that Honduras has formally
declared war against Salvador. These wars
and revolutions of the bantam republics Of
Central and South America are becoming
amusing. They used to he looked upon in
thoroughly farcical that we canno. hear Of
them without smile. They are attended
with 80 much bombast, SO much fuss and
feathers, and the results are SO insignificant
that they are hardly worth recording. We
have not cared to examine closely into the
cause Of this war in order to determine which
is the injured party, but are content to let
them fight it out until one or the other or both
are tired Of the sport, and give ii up in order
to let some of their neighbors have chance.
TIE other republics of Central America may be
drawn into the war, and we should not ba sur
prised if they were. Then they viii be happy,
for they win all be in "a muss' together, and
they can have a good time generally. We
learn, also, thst new President of Nicaragua
was recently inaugurated, and that immed-
ately thereafter revolutionary party tried to
turn him ont Of power, but were not success
iul In Colomaia the revolutionary party was
meeting with success in the State of Boyaca /;
and so it gees on, never ending war, con-
tinual riot, q perpetual scene Of anarchy
and bloodshed, with no strong Power to step
in and give them all good sound thrashing
and make them keep the peace. Why should
these mongrel republics be permitted longer
to keep that part OF the world in state Of
uproar and confusion2 This is question
that it is high time to answer. We can see no
reason why they should not be cautioned and
warned that further disturbances viii not be
permitted. A strong notification Of this char
acter would serve every purpose and maintain
peace and tranquility.
Year: 1871

WHAT WILL THE GOVERNOR Do with the
Pneumatic Tube bIllf All tho arguments
aud objections which were held to be sound
against the arcade railroad last year are good
as against the pneumatic bore. The same
results to Broadway will follow from one as
from the other; therefore we do not see how
the Governor can discriminate in the matter.
If the arcade road was declared a nuisance
what is the pneumatic railroad
Year: 1871

The BILL TO CONSOLIDATE the city debt
was passed in the State Senate yesterday, Mr..
Tweed exercising his mastery ingenuity by
clothing y with life after vote had killed II.
The consolidation of our city debt at lower
rate Of interest is, in the main, highly de-
slrable oonsummation, but the title Of legis-
lative document is SO unreliable that there is
no certainty what dreadful job is hidden under
this comfortable cloak of consolidation.
Year: 1871

WHICH Is CoRDECr ?-The ST. Domingo
Commissioners say that the people ef Do
minica are almost unanimous for annexation,
and ye. Ben Wade in his private letter says
that if annexation does not take place at once
Baez will be ousted by the revolGtionists. If
the former statement is correct how can the
later be true
Year: 1871

GoyERNoR HOFFMAN will hear arguments
In opposition to the pneumatic railway on
Thursday next. Our Broadway property
holders have thus final and most promising
chance Of defeating this threatened outrage.
They must not let it pass from them.
Year: 1871

The Cameron (Pa,) Herald has the
following sensible remarks:


Marriages are happy when they take
place from pure love, between twoper-
sons who arc already thoroughly ac-
quainted with each other, and who are
quite content with each other as they
then are.


First, Love must be the motive. Mar.
riages of convenience, ,as they are called,
most always turn out TO be anything
but convenient, and, on the contrary,
exec edingly inconvenient.


If people marry for money, even if
the money be obtained, the husband or
wife who is taken with it, is, of course
and necessarily, regarded merely as an
incumbrance, 10 be endured for the sake
of the more highly priced pecuniary
acquisition. Then, if it chance that the
coveted money be not received, or that
it be subsequently lost, the situation is
still more deplorable, for the incum-
brance alone remains without the COM
pensation calculated upon for its endur.
ance, and becomes all the more unendur-
able.


If people marry for what is called
position, they marry for something
which cannot be obtained In that way.
A sound title to position can only be
got by merit, never by matrimony.


Secondly, Happy marriages can only
take place between people who are well
acquainted and who are satisfied with
each other as they are.


Young persons who are so blinded by
love that their judgment is rendered
torpid, who are unable to perceive each
others faults, and who marry, in real
form, an imaginary character, are soon
and sadly undeceived by the experience
of married life; and such matches arc
most miserable.


| SO of those who marry, not because
they are satisfied with each other a:
they now are, but who are quite conf
dent of their ability to change the char
acter of the person they wed. Such
| hopes prove delusive. Do not be de
ceived by the idea that you can remoulc
a character already cast, in consequence
Of assuming the matrimonial relations
The probability is, that the objectiona
BILE or disagreeable qualities which yot
already perceive will increase, and no
diminish after marriage, while the pos
sibility of discovering new ones Away
exists.


These suggestions may be heede'
with advantage by the endless process
ion continually moving to the gate q
| mutrimonyD
Year: 1871


a decoitful man Is more hurtful than
open war.


A fox should not be on The jury at a
goose's trial.


Justice will not condemn even the
devil wrongfully.


A great fortune is great slavery.
A nod from a lord is a breakfast for
fool.


a good word for bad one is worth
much and costs little. ..
An old dog cannot alter his way of
barking.


An idle brain is the DEVILS workshop.
a penny worth of mirth is worth
pound of sorrow.


Avarice increases wealth.
A small leak will sink great ship.
Bacchus has drowned more men than
Neptune.


Expect nothing from him who promi-
ses great deal.


Draw not thy bow before thy arrow
be fixed.


Grleving for misfortune is adding gall
to WormWOOd.


Good bargains are pickpockcts.
Give neither counsel nor salt till you
are asked for it.


Have not the cloak TO make when it
begins to rain.


He who would catch fish must not
mind getting wet.


lie that is idle might be better en-
ployed.


He that would stop every mans
mouth must have good deal of meal.
He that makes himself an ass must
not take it i'll if men ride him.


lie that knows not when to be silent
knows not when to speak.
He that fears you present will hate you
absent.


If an ass goes travelling he'll not
come home horse.


If better were within, better would
come out.


1t is more easy TO praise properly than
to bear it.


1t is hard for an empty bag to stand
upright.


1t is pity that those who taught US
to talk did not also teach us to hold our
| tongues.
Year: 1871

SLURs on WOMEN.-Of oil evils pre-
valent among young men, we know of
none more blighting in its moral effects
than to speak slightiugly of the virtue
Of women. Nor is th're anything in
which young men arc so thoroughly
mis-. aiken, as the low estimate they form
of the integrity of wOncn-not of their
own mothers and sistO3, but of Others,
who they forget, are somebody else's
mothers and sisters. AS rule, no per-
son who surrenders to this debasing hab


it is to be trusted with any enterprise
requiring integrity of character. Plain
words should lie spoken on this point,
for the evil is general one, and deep
rooted. If young men are sometimes
thrown into the society of thoughtless
or lewd women, they have no more
right to measure all other women by
what they see Of these, than they would
have to estimate the character of honest
and respectable citizens upon the devel-
opments of crimes in our police courts.
Let our young men remember that
their chiefhappinessoflife depends upon
their utter faith in women. No world
ly wisdom, no misanthropic philosophy,
no generalization can cover or weaken
this fundamental truth. 1t stands like
the record of God itself-for ii is moth
ing less than ths-and should put an
everlasting seal upon lips that were
wont TO speak slightingly of women.