Year: 1873

regularly IoT MS newspaper was ever bit
by mad dog.


THERE is nothing SO effective in bring
ing man up to the scratch as g healthy
high spirited flea.


LEATHER made from the skin of the
white whale is now regular article of
manufacture at some of the villages In
Canada.


THEY have a judge in Kansas who
fined a lawyer for saying " sic transit"
The official thought it was swearing, and
remarked Indignantly, that nobody should
" sick him in that court.


BOURBoNs weak and Bourbons strong.
says Berlin journal, are about to ANAL.
gamate. Weak Bourbon and strong water
Is the fusion III vogue on this side of the
ocean.


IT is said that Captain Jack is in a de
cline. Let his friends take heart. He will
soon undergo rise that will be q most
hemphatic remedy.


A MISSIONARY is wanted for Northern
Mexico who can ride on horseback all
day in the sun, sleep on the ground, and,
live on sour milk, cheese and red
pepper. ...,,


A LITTLE four year old girl looked at
the rainbow with great attention, recently.
and then suddenly exclaimed: Mamma,
| dess bod is doing to play croquet He's
dot his wicket set''


A SOUTHWESTERN man, speaking of
woman's rights, says there is but one
trade open to the gentle sex, and that trade
is marriage. The lecture business has
always been pretty good trade for wo-
men.


A RESIDENT of Maine complains that
the weather probabilities " are posted
in their appointed place so late after they
arrive that the usual question among
farmers is, What is the weather going to
be yesterday?"


SPOILED figs and carpenters glue are
the principal constituents Of a new sem
sation in the way of sweatmeats sold as
royal jam" by the London grocers A
sufficient amount of gin will produce the
royalist kind ofjimjam.


A JOHN BULL, conversing with an
Indian, asked him if he knew the sun
never sets on the Queens dominions
NO." said the Indian. "Do you know.
the reason why?" asked John. Because
God is afraid to trust an Englishman in
the dark, was the savage's reply.


THE man who bought dog to keep off
burglars, and had his sixty dollar suit of
clothes torn into strips and two big
mouthfuls taken out of his calves in try
ing to enter his own backyard, has re
covered from his canine attachment. He
yearns to realize on that animal


If Columbus had put one dollar at in
terest, six per cent. compound, when he
landed upon this continent, at this time it
would amount to over $2,000,000,0O0. If
one of the Pilgrims had put $500 at six
per cent. compound interest, to-day it
would amount to enough to purchase the
New England States at assessed va1ue.


MOTHERS will do well at this season of
the year, to keep their children in the
house, cool and quiet. Along the side
walk the watermelon and the undertaken
go hand in hand; typhoid fever sails in
an invisible shallop on the lake of the
green scum; and cholera morbus famil-
iarly swings upon the front gate.


LADIES in fashionable attire are gener-
ally supposed to look captivating, even
to the eyes Of unsophisticated nature
But look at the facts. A dog, brought up
on whaling vessel, who had been alb
sent on three years voyage, and had
never seen woman, was so frightened at
the first he saw when he finally reached
the haunts of civilization that he imme-
diately went into a fit.


LAUGHTER is one of the gifts which
distinguish men from animals Mirth,
so far from being one of the lower attri-
buteS OF human nature, Is one of the
higher. 1t reigns in an innocent nature,
and tends 10 perfect and brighten the
mind wherever allowed. 1t may be said
Of this emotion, as quaint Andrew Fuller
said of anger: "He would it hath MAIN
ed mind"


TRUE humor springs not more from the
head than from the heart; it is not con
tempt, its essence is love; it issues not in
laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far
deeper. 1t is sort Of inverse sublimity !;
eXalting as it were into our affections
what is below us, while sublimity draws
down into our affections what is above us.
1t is, in fact, the bloom and perfume, the
purest ctfiuences of a deep, fine and low
ing nature.


A MAN in 7Pennsylyania has invented a
rat-trap that is made to operate upon the
selfish passions of the poor rat and lure
him into trouble. A mirror is set in the
back part of the device, beyond the bait
and as his ratship is out on foraging ex-
pedition he espies the bait, at the same
tiiiiC OWH lludSc III llt
mirror to be another rat making for it on
the opposite sidea This is too much for
rat nature to stand and be cool over; so
he rushes for the bait and is caught.


THERE are many plants which, when
they find themselves by some accident in
another country, find things much more
adapted to progress and rapid develop
ment than in their own. Many English
plants, that are common weeds with us
and a great nuisance to the agriculturist
are comparatively harmless or even un.
known to any one but botanists there.
SO with many of our plants in Europe
DR. Kerner, of Innsbruck, notices that our
Rudbechio lGciRiata promises to be bad
weed in Austria. 1t commenced to spread
about thirty years ago, and is now very
common With us it shows little or no
disposition to leave the open woods and
thickets, where it generally abounds. An
other species, however, tiaud5echaa hirt0,
is taking possession of many poor mead
ows, and it will not be long before it will
have to be recorded in complete works on
American weeds.s A good portion OF
the meadows on the battle field of Gettys
burg is overrun with it. -~


SOME competent sanitary and bibulouS
authority asserts that when people feel the
need of an acid, if they would let vinegar
alone, and use lemons or apples, they
would feel just as we'll satisfied and re
ceive no injury. A suggestion may moi
come amiss as to good plan when lem


Il