Year: 1873

NJ vile has gone away lot lhe summer
and left me in full charge Of the house
| like it; hav'ut had such run of liberty
since we were married. hope she's hav
ing good time. for can now exorcis,
my rights as the head Of the family
Cant do ii when she's at home; she II no
stand it. She has rules, and makes every
body about her toe the mark. But I've
got her nov, aud am having things my
own way.


This morning | came home qnite early
It was two a. M. Id been to the club aOd
got caught outin the rain. For halfan hour
| couldn't find the key hole, which mRsI
have got mislaid. Ilelt for iteverywhOro,
and even got down into the yard and ex'
amined every brick, but couldn't iud it
| was iu the act Of calling one Of my
neighborS, aud asking him who had car.
riod off my front door, when happened to
find it aud got into the bouso.


In the dark kicked over a spittoun,
but luckily didn't get any Of the tobacco
juice on my boots. | hung my OvercOat
and umbrella on prong Of the chandelier,
let them drip on the parlor carpet, went
upstairs aud turned in With my boots on,


thought it wasn't worth while to pull
them of, as | would haye 10 get up in
eight or ten hours anyhow, If my wife
had been at home she'd have had me look.
ing an hour for the bOOt,jack, and would
have lost that amount Of rest, which my
system so much needed. Besides, she'd
have made me give full account Of my.
self, which don't like to do. never did
believe in praising myself. It's better to
lot others speak Of ones virtues. can
now scar a shirt week and it's nobody'c
business l don't see how I ever did gel
along with that woman. The idea Of hav'
ing to put on clean shirt, black my boots
aud brush up my clothes every morning,
is simply ridiculous. 1t is a miracle to
me now | ever did it and attend to my
other affairs. | now read my morning
paper without being forced to sec an impa'
ticnt woman standing with a dress 10 one
hand laeEiag very rAisssasls, FINALS
telling me she is going down town ant
wants that paper. Any one to look at The
house nov, would know there's no womer
about every thing is so quiet and comfort
able and handy i'll want to do little
figuring | dou't,have to hunt up pencil,
or pen and ink, but just sit down to one
Of the tables and do it with my finger, and
telling me to get out Of the way until the
house is cleaned up, These ore consider
atoms that every married man should pom
der over. But when We do ponder and
resolve, what good does it do? That'sthe
question that is now agitqting The :Ameri
can people. What good does it do3 MOI
a bit. But If these women can't have
every thing just their way, they sWoOu
of into Mysteries As consequence, VIC
have to pay ffty.dollar doctors bill, and
stay in the house all day tanning them,
and promising in the end that I've may
be happy yet" before they show any dis.
position to compromise. Our wives are pet
ted too much. Aud this reminds me that
mins won't yield to any other treatment.
undertook to prescribe more stringent
remedy for her one day, but'it threw her
into fit.morelike jim,ja than anything
=
| knew Of, She broke every plate iu The
house over my head, and then had to
kiss her before she would promise not to
do it again. That's what makes me say
she is set in her ways.


There too, are the piano and guitar,
which she kept going from morning until
midnight, filling tho whole neighborhOod
with The discordaut sounds which she call
ed music. Both are as mute as the bird
cage which was vacated last week by
strategic momemeut Of tho cat.


The two hundred pots OF flowers she
loft me to cultivate I don't think will pro.
dace much Of a crop, They're nearly all
ripe now, aud there's no sign Of a flower
vet. l have watered them twice since she
left, but it did no good. l reckon they
miss her, and are piuiug away because she
amt here. In this respect they do not
rosomhIa mo IN anv alarming extent