Year: 1873

III Wow.


81 want to see," said he, "tho man
that puts things into this paper"


We intimated that several of us earned
a frugal livelihood in that way.


"Well, l want to see the man which
cribs things out of other papers. The
man who writes mostly with shears, you
understand"


We explained to him that there were
seasons when the most gifted among us,
driven to frenzy by the scarcity of ideas
and events, and by the clamorous de-
mands of an Unsuitable public, in mo-
ments of emotional insanity, plunged the
glittering shears into our exchanges. He
went on calmly, but in voice tremulous
with suppressed feeling, and indistinct
through the recent loss of half dozen or
so teeth.


Just so. presume so. don't know
much about the business, but | want to
see a man, the man who printed that little
piece about pouring cold water down a
drunken mans spine of his back, and
making him instantly sober. If you
please, 1 want to see that man. l would
like to talk with him."


Then he leaned his stick against our
desk and spit on his serviceable hand,
and resumed his hold on the stick as
though he was weighing it. After study
ing the stick moment, he added in a
somewhat loud tone:


"Mister, came here to see that ere
man. l want to see him bad"


We told him that particular man was
not in.


"Just so. l presume so. They told
me before | come that the man | wanted
wonldn't be anywhere. I'll wait for him.
| live up north and have walked seven
miles to converse with that man. guess
III sit down and wait"


He sat down by the door and reAectively
pounded the floor with his stick, but his
feelings would not allow him to keep
still.


" | suppose none of you didn't ever
pour much cold water down any drunken
mans back to make him instantly sober,
perhaps"


: None of us in the office had ever tried
the experiment.


"Just so. | thought just as like as
not you had not. Well, Mister, have.
l tried it yesterday, and l come seven
miles on foot to see the man that printed
that piece. 1t wasn't much of piece, |
don't think but | want to see the man
that printed it just lew minutes. You
see, John Smith, he lives next door to
my house when I'm to home, and he gets
how come you so every little period.
Now when he's sober, he's all right, il
you keep out of his way; but when he's
drunk he goes home and breaks dishes,
and tips over the stove, and throws the
hardware around and makes it inconvc-
nient for his wife, and sometimes he gets
his gun and goes out calling on his neigh
bors, and it amt pleasant.


Not that / want to say anything
about Smith but me and my wife don't
think he ought to do so. lie came home
drunk yesterday and broke all the kitchen
windows out Of his house, and followed
his wife around with the carving knife,
talking about her liver, and after while
he lay down by my fence and went to
sleep. had been reading that little
piece; it Want much Of piece, and |
thought if | could pour some cold water
down his spine of his back, and make him
sober, it would be more comfortable for
his wife, and square thing to do all
around. So poured IA bucket of spring
water down John Smiths spine of his
back"


Well" said we as our visitor paused,
"did it make him sober ?'' Our visitor
took frmcr hold of his stick, and replied
with increased emotion.


"Just so. suppose it did make him
sober as a judge in less time than you
can say Jack Robinson; but, Mister, it
made him mad. 1t made him the mad
dest man / ever see, and Mister, John
Smith is bigger man than me and stout
err Bla-bess him | never knew he was
half so stout till yesterday. and he's handy
with his fists too. l should suppose he
is the handiest man with his fists | ever
saw"


"Then he went for you did he ?" we
asked innocently.


"Just SO. Exactly. l suppose he
went for me the best he knew how, but l
don't hold no grudge against John Smith.
| suppose he amt good man to hold
grudge against, only | want to see the
man what printed that piece. l feel as
though it would soothe me to see that
man. want to show him how drunk
en- man acts when you pour water down
the spine OF his back. That's what l
come for"


Our visitor who had poured water down
the spine of drunken mans back, re-
mained until o'clock P. NJ. and then
went up street to find the man that print
ed that little piece. The man he is look
ing for started for Alaska last evening
for Summer vacation, and will not be
back before September, 1878. -Ee.