Year: 1870

-From the Des Moines, Iowa, State Register


A good story is always in order, and ls al
ways an item. We have Just heard one on
Northern Iowa basis. A few weeks ago 30
the story goes. prominent farmer IN Har-
din county, who appears to have good deal
of red blood in his lus1y carcass, called at
ueighbors house when the neighbor himself
wasn't at home. But Mrs. Neighbor was
there, and gave Mr. Lusty generous well
come Now, the lady was fat and fair to
look upon, and it SO happened that of all
other kinds of females this was the very
sort the deacon-for deacon he was-liked
the best. From childhood the desire to hug
fat females had been the thorn in the dea-
cons flesh, and now. here was the tempta-
tion enticiDgly put before him. The eye
kiLdled as it looked, ard The brave rig ht arm
arched to crook itself about the yoluptuous
form OF the unconscious aud innocent
temptress. And crook 1t did, suddenly ana
Lovingly. But early on its way it found
grief rhe struggling captive wasn't hungry
for lu2S outside OF the family, wasn't that
kind OF d woman, and soon the deacon dis
covered it. First, the argument of sharp
finger-nails, and next the fragments of a
bread tray broken over nis head. gave the
old fellow suspicion that the stolen sweets
weren't as sweet as they ought to be, and
finally vigorous dig in the liver from a
stove hook convinced him that distance
more than lent enchantment to that partl-
cUlar enChantress. So he let her go, and
she soon let him go, with all the blessings
and other loose articles she could bestow
upon his noble, but retreatlug form.


Soon came the husband home. and IN his
indignant ear Was the woeful story told. IL
was more than husbands human nature
could bear. He loved his wife. and he
knew MS neighbor. He had been intro
duced 20 him. and so he felt free to go and
settle with him. He went, he saw, he
cussed him. The deacon, knowing he was in
for it, took the shortest and most pious way
out; owned that he had gone little way
astray, that he had coveted his neig ghbors
wife; that he did think he would like to
give her Just one good hug; that he had
gently tried to obtain the one hug aforesaid,
but when he found out she had none to
spare, ne didn't try any more, and that
now, like an honest man aud good neigh
Dor, ne Was ready to pay the damages and
make it even.


The neighbor, not liking to be hard on q
friend, smothered his wrath, put his pistol
back in MS pocket. ald said that was
right-he liked to hear a man talk business.
The outrage WAS finally compromised by
the grace OF money, the deacon suggesting
and the husband acquiescing, that there was
no use Of spillIng blood over 50 small mat
ter After the debate upon the proper price
OF hugs. it was agreed that ten dollars was
about right, whereupon the deacon gave
the outraged husband his note for that
amount, when peace was again spoken be
tween them.


But the note was not money. Mr.. Hus-
band thought he would trade it off for corn.
and go he went to another neighbor, one Of
the best men living, as we personally know,
and tried to strike euch a bargain. The
man with the corn had heard the story and
didn't want the note. So the holder had to
seek another market. he happened TO think
he wanted . shovel plow. He went to Ell
dora, found the plow, the owner of it glad to
exchange it for the note, knowing as he did
that the deacon was good for ten dollars.
But when he presented the note for pay
ment. the paper wssn'tnonored. The deacon
fatty refused to pay it, pleading as his
reason the want of consideration The
holder swears he will sue on it, and have the
money ye'. The plain question in suit will
be, has a hug a commercial value-is 1t
worth anything or isn't it And if it is OF
no value, will it be proved that part of a hug
is worth ten dollars? The hug loving part
of the world viii breathessly await the de-
dision of the court.