Year: 1871

the lnqulring mind which, ,SOmetlmt


since, led the writer of 1.-TWO O'Clock


in the morning. to investigate the


causes why, at that particular hour


the clock ticked unusually loud, the


wardrobe creaked and the bedroom


door opened of itself, might have


still farther extended its researches


with advantage into the mysteries


of everyday life. | should like, fol


instance, to have had a chapter eX-


planning what becomes of the pins;


and calling attention to the fact, THAT


for one pin ever picked up by the


thriftiest old maid, at the least a


thousand go the way of all pins,-


whatever that my be. Talk of the


source of the Nile,or the distance OF


the fixed stars-here is a mystery


which comes home to us all; yet at


the present moment is as far as ever


from being cleared up. 1t has in
deed been suggested, that inasmuch
as needless have been known to enter
the hand and come out of the foot
of human beings, so pins find their
way from the surface to the center
of the earth; which, if so, must at
the present time be pretty full of
them. Without entering on the
merits of this theory, it is one,
though not very satisfactory way
of accounting for the disappearance,
by hundreds of millions annually, of
objects which can neither melt or


wear out. shall not stop now to
inquire why bread always falls on
the buttered side, especially where
the carpet beneath is fluffy and well


adapted to adhere; that is clear
case of awkwardness having its own


reward, and one that follows much


more quickly than is to be found in
the apocryphal case of virtue so


placed. But / should like to know


why it is, that, on the few occasions
in my life when l have been obliged
to breakfast in bed, mere intrOduc-
ton of harmless cup of tea into
the room should Immediately cause
that bed to be full of crumbs? Any
one who has had the gritty expert
ence In question will testify to the
fact, as also to the desperate efforts
Immediately made to get rid of the
intruders, and to the inevitable re
suit; viz. that the clothes are all got
rid of, the crumbs alone remaining,
to lively sense or a night passed
upon a gravel-walk.


In like manner, | should desire
some hints as to the origin of what
may be called the inevitable tack or
small nail, with n fiat head which,
by extreme dexterity, stands erect
thereon, point upwards, at my bed
side, whenever 1 chance to get up to
light candle at night and receives
my foot as / descend? No amount
of previous sweeping will insure
against the intrusion of this piqu-
ant object. l should be obliged,
too, by having my scientific aspira-
tions gratifed, as to why eclipses of
the sun or moon are always visible
with particular advantage in all the
uninhabitable parts of the earth,
if ever, in a country where there is
anybody to see them? Once more
coming to terrestrial subjects; as
matter of speculation, it would be
interesting to ascertain the relations
between dust-carts and rain-wheth-
er the advent of dust-carts pro
duces rain, or that of rain produces
the dust-carts. 1t has been sub
ject of contention in alpine regions
whether the snow produces the cold,
or the cold produces the snow; and
after severe rheumatic attacks by
parties in their zeal for discovery,
much is found to be said on both
sides. / am particularly careful
person; it is therefore very myteri-
Gus to me by what means varieties
of fluffy substances get into the
the corners of nearly everything /
possess-as, for instance, my ink
bottle, which appears to generate
small rags of its own accord; and
the pockets of my waistcoats, which
seem to possess the property of
producing an unfailing supply of
soft cottony deposits, for the sole
purpose of getting into my watch
key.


Will any one account to me for a
phenomenon of daily, 1 may almost
say hourly, occurrence, viz. the man
ner in which inanimate objects get
out of the way the mo-
ment there is a demand for their
services? If am going from home
for few days, my clothes all seem
to be aware of the intention, and
hide themselves in places where
they never were before. For the
faculty of jumbling themselves to-
gether in inextricable confusion,
however, on these occasions, and at
the shortest moment, commend me
to the keys.-they beat all. The
scissors you have just laid down
may indeed be found in a book you
have not opened for months; the
razor you shaved with this morning,
in drawer locked up last summer;
and your gloves and card case have
seized the opportunity of getting
into the deepest corner of port
you don't intend opening
till your journeys end, days hence.
But all these are nothing to the |
keys; there they area bunch stuck to |
gether that deiies all attempts at ex-
the large keys have got in
to the small ones; the small ones,
webs, pipes, rings, and all spontan-
aously intermingled with a complex
Ity of entanglement that hours of
perseverance, would not have enabled |
one to achieve. l would like, too,t !
be informed what it is that takes
possession of my pens. l am most
particular abomt them; yet l con
stantly find their nibs in one of two
conditions,-either the form of a
letter V split up to the feathers; or