smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

a clerk in the indianapolis post-offlce IS
now in the last stages of drought, occasioned
by bis own sallantry in volunteering to lick
and adjust postage-stamps for the young
ladies who came to his window. He is very
harming-Indianapol is full Of good-look-
ing gir4s-who love dearly to see him run
out his tongue and moisten u stamp, and the
first thing the unfortunate young man knew
ne had exhausted lis saliyary secretions, and
was as dry as boarding -house pie, The
docior says unless he eau start the sap in his
sys.cu be is gone.
Year: 1873

SEND HIM TO CoLLEGE.-A good story
is told of Governor Chiltenden, wac was one
of the early Governors of Vermont. He
was quit. an extensive farmer, and in those
days to be Governor did net greatly inter-
fere with the incumbent's ordinary vocation,
as the Legislature was rarely in session any
longer than thirty days, and the Governor
only resided at the Capital during the ses-
sion. The Governor had two sons. One OF
them was boy of bright intellect, and the
other decidedly dull. The old gentleman


thought nature had done enough for the
younger, and that he would make his way
in the world without more than common
school education, but that the elder one
would need all the aid of liberal education


to make up the natural deficiency, and he
was accordingly sent to college, while his
brother was kept on the farm 1t happened
one Spring that among the fruits of the Gov
ernor's herds was very stupid calf, it would
not suck or drink, and no amount CT effort
on the part of father, son, or hired man could
induce him to take his sustenance. After
repeated trials the good mans patience gave
out, and he said to his son: "Freemln, what
on earth shall we do with this stupid fool p
81 don't know, father" was the ready re-
sponse," "unless we send him to college
with Martin.
Year: 1873

STORY OF A MARYsvILLAN.-They tell a
story of MarysviIle man-for the sake of
his relatives we withhold bis name-who is
inordinately fond of buck wheat cakes and
sausage gravy, and who, whenever he comes
across these dishes at the table, never
knows when he has got enough Some
time ago business called this gentleman to
San Francisco, and he took Sacramento in
his way, when he entered one of the hotels
in the morning to get his breakfast. On
the bill of fare he spied his favorite dish
and straightway the obedent waiter was
soon travelling toward the kitchen for buck
wheat cakes and sausage gravy, the mans
appetite was keen, and the buckwheat aud
gravy seemed extra good. And four times
did that waiter carry the empty plates from
his table to return with more buckwbeat
and sausage, before the man finally cried
enough. Notwithstanding his breakfast
lhc gentleman from Marysvle managed to
reach San Francisco and transact his busi-
ness and was again on his way home. He
returned via. Sacramento, and it seems, I'M
necessary to state, went to the same hotel
for his meal. lie sat down to the table and
the same waiter approached lie took one
good look at him, to assure himself that
it was bis former customer, and then, with
out word, walked back to the
kitchen and bawIed: "Buckwheat cakes
and sausage gravy for six; that old hog
from Marysville is back here again.
Year: 1873

Being doubtful which Of two roads to
take, our driver called to farmer going
from us in a field, and said, General, (the
man turned about to listen) (which is the
road to Portsmouth," The General
pointed to the right road and we took it, but
asked the driver:


"Why did you call that man General?'


"Oh." said he, "if had called him
Colonel. he wouldn't have looked around!'


had thought the driver probably recog-
nized him as an officer, but he merely went
on the principle that the higher title lie gave
the man the more prompt lie would be in at
tending to the call
Year: 1873

ADVANTAGE OF CRYlNG.-A French ply
sician is out in long dissertation on th, ad


vantages cf groaning and crying III general,
and especially during surgical operations


He contends that groaniug and crying are
two grand operations by which nature allays
anguish; that those patients who give way
to their natural feelings more speedily recov
er from accidents and operators than those
wlo suppose it unworthy man to betray
such symptoms of cowardice as to either
groan Or t, cry. He tells of a man who re-
duced his pulse from one hundred and twe.-
ty-six to sixty, in the course of a few hours,
by giving full vent to his emotions. If peo-
pie are at all unhappy about anything, let
Ihem 60 to their room and comfort them
selves with loud boohoo, as they will feel
hundred per cent. better afterward. IN
accordance with the above, the crying OF
children should never be too greatly dscour-
aged. If it is systematically repressed the
result may be St. Vitus' dance, epleptic
fits, or some other disease of the nervous
svstom. " hat is natural is always useful
and nothing can be more natural than the
crying of children when anything occurs to
give them either physical or men al pain.
Year: 1873

When William M. Tweed was in the
hight of his power he visited the Insane
Asylum at Utica. His first request was to
be shown to the quarters of patient once
noted as local politician in New York. He
found the man on the ground-hoor, a hope
less maniac In the dull eyes and face Of
the lunatic were no traces of his shrewdness
and vigiL,nce. Mind and body were utterly
wrecked Tweed glanced at the poor fellow
moment, and then his face suddenly paled,
and turning, with swift steps. he walked out
through the nearest door and so left the asy-
lum. Nothing could induce him to return
or continue his inspection. 81 have seen
enough" he said simply, sit shows what we
may all come to by and by"


Now, when Tweed dons the striped suit
of the convict and takes his place with the
outlaws in prison, many visitors at Sing Sing
will ask to be shown to his cell. And if
among that number shall come some public
servant who has betrayed his trust; who has
sacrificed his soul on the altar of greed; who
has bribed his way to power and yel led to
bribery when power was secured who has
touched money which was not his, or en-
ricbed himself under the cover OR color of
aw-if such m, shall cross the threshold
of Tweed's cell and shall see him cast down,
detected, SCI rned, dishonored, it is easy to
fancy him echoing Tweed's sentiment 81
have seen enough; it shows what we may
all come to by and by" The lesson and
the warning must not be lost. Of all who
envied hi.n his ill-gotten wealth, no mar
would care to change places with him to-
day. He will die as poor as he began. II"
has already sacrificed large proportion OF
his ill-got'en wealth to save the remainder.
And between suits at law and private settle
ments that remainder will be consumed. He
has learned at last what they are wise who
learn at first. that honesty is the best policy.
-Utica Observer.
Year: 1873

Go Alluding to Boruck, whose
chances were consi cred good for the Clerk
ship of the Assembly, the Bee says:


A man who assumes political leadership,
or who is stretching out his hand to clutch
it, should be neither rash nor excitable. Our
young friend who yesterday made hasty
leap in that direction was 80 swift in his mo-
lions that he broke a wing, Topped, and fell
back kerchuck upon the ground, inj-ring his
verterbr@ to greater or less extent. The
only trouble with him in this inst' nee was
that he assumed an untenable position, and
while he shot his gun off at plover, it
kicked back and knocked its owner over.
Year: 1873

One evening in my forest range,
l witnessed something very strange,
Along the lakeside to and fro,
l saw hunter riding slow;
Lo, many a deer around him run,
And what does he ? He fires at none,
He blows his horn, the echoes ring.
Will any one explain this thing
Then further walking, puzzled quite
l stood and saw another sight
skiff that held fishing maid,
For fishing perfectly arrayed !;
The fishes sported on the lake,
Yet not fish she deigned to take;
A woodland song heard her sing.
Will any one explain this thing ?
Returning twas my lot to see
A strange occurrence, number three
A horse an empty saddle bore.
An empty skiff was by the shore,
And where the shady naples grow,
! heard two people talking low;
The moon the leaves was silvering.
Will any one explain this thing


Our Monthly.
Year: 1873

The clerks at a watch and jewelry estab-
ishment were startled the other day by an
individuals inquiring if he couldn't have
his ertras engraved" on his watch-case.
After little inward laughter it was suggest
ed that the applicants initials might be put
on in monogram, which he seemed to think
was much the same thing
Year: 1873

"Speaking of extravaganza in dress,
writes Captain Crosstree, "the most expen-
sively dressed man ever saw was an Afrl-
can chief on the gold coast. His wives had
anointed him with palm oil, and then pow
dcred him from head to foot with gold dust.
You never in your life saw man got up so
utterly regardless Of expense.
Year: 1873

A STEAM SWNDLE.-The steam
gauge is very useful invention, but
it recently excited the unjust anger of
a respectable Jerseyman. He was
crossing the Povania ferry and hap.
pened to glance at the steam gauge in
the engine room which marked pres
sure of fifteen pounds. The Jersey
man knew that it was about eight
o'clock, and it occurred to him to set
his watch. He did SO, but returning
to the engine room few minutes later,
saw that the gauge marked ten pounds
instead of eight. So he set his watch
at ten o'clock, and wondered how he
could have made mistake when he
looked at the gauge first. BY and by
he made third visit to the engine
room and found the steam gauge stand
ing at fifteen pounds. Then this hon
est Jerseyman grew angry and de-
nounced the owners of the ferry boat
as q pack of swindlers, who cared
nothing for the public interest, but
clocks on board their boats that in
suited his intelligence by trying: to
make him believe that it was fifteen
o'clock.
Year: 1873

THE Lord Chief Justice Of England
said recently in the Tichborne trial,
"a bit Of paper from this Court would
open the door of any convent in Eng
land if we wanted q witness" Mr..
Seward said the same thing to all Eng
lish nobleman during the rebellion:
II have only to touch this bell, my
lord, and by telegram can arrest
any man in the nation.v In lesser
degree the same power can be exer-
cised by the Courts. Our judges are
the ones who can say "Come, and he
comath-n
Year: 1873

Lsmartne gives this illustration la
some spring freshet a river widely washed iA
shores and rent away boush whereon a bird
bad built a cottage for her summer hope
Down the white aud whirling stream dilled
the green branch, with its wicker cup Of un-
hedged song, and lutter beside it went the
mother bird. Unheeding tie roaring river, on
she went, her cries Of agony and fear piercing
the pauses in the storm. How like the love
Of an od.fashioned mother, who followed the
child she had plucked from her heart, oil over
the world. Swept away by passion that child
might he, it mattsred not; though be wss
bearing away with him the fragrance Of the
shattered roCf-tree, yet that mother was with
him, Ruth through all his life, and Rachael
at lis death
Year: 1873

Governor Jacob will to-day enter up on his
second term in the gubernatoHal Office. The
Secretary Of State, State Superintendent Of
Free Schools, Auditor, Treasurer aud Attorney
General will also be scyeraliy iuducted into
Office. The Secretary Of State is to be appoint
Ell hy the Governor and confirmed by the
Senate. We have not learned upon whom the
Office is to be conferred. All Of these eHsc1-
tive "Gicers, except the Attorney General, arc
required by the Constitution TO reside at tbs
seat Of government during their terms Of Of
fee Wheeling Register 4th
Year: 1873

Il regard Mir. Eddy as one of the most success ful practitioners with whom have had osdeial in rtercourse.

 CHARLES MASON, Commissioner of Patents"

 Thave no hesitation in assuring inventors that they cannot employ man more competent and plications in & form to secure for them an early and favorable consideration at the Patent Office
Year: 1873

The Scventy-hrst regiment, Celonel vSe, will
parade in full dress Uniform tomorrow afternoon,
at three O'Clock at their armory corner of Broad
way and ThIrty-stxth street, for the purpose OF
escorting the Providence Light Infantry from pier
loot OF Tmrtyfith street to pier foot OF Vest Fit
teenth street. In the evening the Seventy-fr
will attend one OF the theatres en- ndSSe, The line
OF march Will be up Thirty-iourth street to Filth
avenue; through Broadway to Eighth street;
through Eighth street to ruth avenue; up Filth
avenue 10 Fourteenth street, and thence to the
North River. where tue guests Of the Seventy.nrst
will embark for home.
Year: 1873

NO more tasteful ornaments can be add
ed to the decoration of dining room or
parlor than rustic basket filed with nat
ural and growing plants, and nothing of
equal beauty is less extensively made.
For simple hanging basket. the materials
needed are wooden bowl about six inches
In depth, and from foot to eighteen


inches in diameter; a few bits Of red cedar
with the bark left on; some gnarled pieces
OF root, and yard or two Of rattan. The
cedar is cut in proper lengths, and nailed
with fine brads to the outside of the bowl
in any tanciful pattern-the rougher the
better. The bits of root are fastened to
the bottom to serve as finish, and the
rattan is attached to the edges as ham
die. Any florist will fill the basket with
ivy, ferns, ETC., for small sum, and the
miniature conservatory, with little care,
will flourish through the whole winter.


Any design, however elaborate, can be
easily constructed. No fear need be en-
that growing plants in the house
are in any wise deleterIous to health.
Flowers of strong perfume are sometimes
to persons Of delicate tenn
permanent, but growing vegetation which
gives off oxygen during the day, and alb
serbs carbonic acid gas, rather improves
than otherwise the air of room. The
beauty Of the ornament is increased by
the cage of birds. the design of which
may of course be varied to suit the taste.
The globe of fish, in which, by the exer-
else Of little ingenuity. small fountain
may be arranged, will further tend to pu-
rify the atmosphere by absorbing the small
portion of carbonic acid which the plants
exhale during the night. Scientific amer
,cU1, .At.t
Year: 1873




Among the unmaiable matter sent to
The Dead Letter Office few days ago,
was package about ten inches in length
by iour in width, which, upon being
opened. proved to be a small hive of bees.
The pine box in which they were inclosed
was perforated with twenty-four auger
holes, twelve on each side. The bees
Were IN these, each hole having a sponge
IN it saturated with some kind Of sac
charine matter for the sustenance of the
occupants. These little cells or holes
were covered with fine wire to prevent
the escape of the bees. which appeared to
be IN good state Of preservation, buzzing
around in their narrow confines in quite q
lively manner. They were evidently sent
by some bee dealer to a customer or friend,
the package, however, having no mark.
What disposition will be made of them re-
mains to be seen.
Year: 1873

Breach of promise cases are fairly
kaleidoscope in their variety, and here is
one from the Norwich assizes, in England,
which is notable for its novelty. A ship
captain put into Yarmouth for repairs,
and landed just in time to see fight,
During the progress of the fracas he ex-
pressed an opinion as to its merits, which
was echoed by girl at his side. Turning
to her instantly, he asked if she was en-
gagged, and when she replied in the mega.
tive, he proposed at once and was accepted
Subsequently he called upon the girls
mother and secured her consent, when he
started for South Shields to prepare for
the wedding. There his friends reminded
him of the the trifing circumstance that
he was already married, and would not
let him return TO execute his rash and
bigamous purpose, but instead sent a
message to the girl at Yarmouth that he
was dead. The bereaved female thsught
it only proper that she should attend the
funeral, and accordingly proceeded to
South Shields. Finding him alive, she
brought suit for her disappointment, and
the jury gave her verdict of $500. This
suggests, among other things, whether
a married man may be mulcted for failing
to keep a promise to commit bigamy.
Year: 1873

bsaid with great CALAMITY, brought Up
from the saloon an easy chair which he
placed for her under an svninglsg. aud as
We viewed the scene from our boat pie.
ture was presented which | can never for.
get. Duleep stood cOnversing With his
wife in the kindest aud most affable man.
ner, while the pufs from bis cigar rolle5
up around his fue face aud wresthed bis
red fez cap. In the back ground was tho
yellow old Nile bank with a. sew palm
trees, while beyond rose through the lurid
air the great pyramids, whose solemn maj
esty is the same that looked on Joseph
and his brethren. The surroundings we're
worthy Of thc strange romantic history Of
Duleep aud his wife; but most significant
of all was the contrast suggested,


Think for a moment of that funeral
pile in India where heathenism claimed
the sacrifice Of eleven living wives in
honor Of dead husband. Imagine the
horror of such scene, the cruelty Of re-
atives even who urge the sacrifice, the din
Of musical instruments, the wild shricks
Of agony and despair that go up with the
leaping flames and black curling smoke,
and then turh your thoughts to the kind
and loving husband who stands on the
deck of tbs Nile boat. In the one case,
it is The father and in the other, it is
the son. In the one, it is hcathcnism
in the other, it is Christianity. They are
only generation apart and the magic
power which has wrought the great change
in so short period is the simple word of
God, taught to little hoy in India and a
little girl in Egypt


Now my dear children, if you have ev-
er thought that it was of little use to at
tempt the reform of the heathen, | hope
your doubts will cease when yeu contrast
these scenes We annottellyo that every
one of our six thousand youth will prove
to be Duleep or a Bamba. Do not cx-
pcct too much. But try. "In the morn
ing SOW thy seed and in the evening with
hold not thy hand for thou knowest not
whether shall prosper, either this or that,
or whether tey both stall be alike good u
OF all tie youth unde: our care in India,
about $50 are in Boarding schools and
Orphanagcs, requiring from $50 to $50
each for their annual support, About
100 of these are sustained by Sabbath
schools Who will take the $50?
Year: 1873

now DOES LIGHT ENGINE DRAW HEAVY


TRAIN?


The first locomotive was patented twen-
ty years ago. Drawing only one car, if
lightly loaded, it did very well T; but, when
the load it drew was heavier than its own
weight, its wheels would not Jite-that is,
they would turn round and round without
advancing. Hence COW catcher was
needed behind 10 guard against cattle run
ming in:o it is the rear. 1t seemed, at
first, impossible to make a less weight
move greater on an up grade and, for
81 years afterward, no one invented an
engine able TO draw three times its own
weight. At the present day, however,
locomotives sweep along with trains more
ponderous by l5 or 20 times than they
aye themselves. One means of gaining
this vast increase Of power for the loco
motive, was by dividing the load. 1t
was found, that an engine powerless to
stir five times its own weight Of freight
when concentrated in one car, could read
lily draw it When distributed in a dozen
cars loosely shackied together. 1t was
heavier than each single car; and 1t had
overcome the inertia of each one, mo-
ment before it encountered the inertia of
another 1t was thus more than match
for, each car taken singly; and, pulling
them successfully, it drew after it train
as long as comet, and the farther it ran
the more strength it had to run further
Here was the story of little David over
again. Ordinarily the stripling's weight,
as he told Goliath, was one hundred aud
twenty, but whenever he got mad he
ceighed a ton, Moreover, the engine
forced the momentum required BY every
car 1t had started, to swell its own poten-
cy in overcoming the resistance of all
that remained still motionless.


"This railroad achievement (making a
light engine draw a heavy trair,) if not
SO common, would seem miraculous; and
it is analogous to an expodient for secur-
ing farm which is equally simple and
equ lily efficacious. 1t is this:-'Divide
your payments. Buying, as 1926 set.
tiers have bought Of the Burlington and
Missouri River Road in Iowa or Nebras-
ka, within the last three years, on ten
years credit, and at six per cent. interest,
you pay in eleven installments spread over
half Lifetime, the first not due till the
beginning Of the third year. Besides,
every acre you improve adds TO your pay
ing power, as the hesdway of every NOV
ing car rcinforces the tractile energy OF
the locomotive"


"Divide and conquer" is the maxim
Of Satan when he sows dlscord among
brethren. Jus it for your good as Satan
will for your HARM and as Stephenson did
to multiply the magical forces of mis- i'm.
mortal and world. moving locomotive
q Get mad and weigh ton." Own land
and nobody shall ever own you. BE
your own man
Year: 1873

sire, but that a report to the Telegraph
Office and other duties incident thereto,
will involve some extra labor, We will
do this provided the Chamber will
send 100 copies of the WEEKLY HER
AID to Eastern Hotels and Libraries.


Yours, Very truly,


c. A. STORKE.


The HERALD therefore asked no
money consideration.


From the foregoing facts it will be
seen that both the Star and Express
virtually confessed that they were un-
able to perform the services required;
they even suggested that the Chamber
should constitute itself a local editor
to collect and furnish news for them
whereas, the members of the Board
being all active business men and
having no time to devote to this pur-
pose, adopted what they considered
the best mode of having it performed.
This they did, and the HERALD re-
ceived the contract, simply because
it was the only paper that made di-
rect bid, and the subscription for the
100 copies is the only compensation
this paper receives for the services re-
quired to be performed.
Year: 1873

TO THE EDITOR OF THE HERALD


The result OF the recent college race being so un-
satisfactory, especially TO Harvard who, 1t seems
would like another trial. why would II not be a
good idea for them to make match and invite the
"Atalanta Club OF New York" to take part Az
the latter Club defeated them both In 1871 this
would enable them TO make scores even and settle
lty. Yours AMATEUR
Year: 1873




The recent series Of articles BY the NEW YORK
HERALD on the possibility and probability Of Cesar
Ism In this country are pregnant with thought and
reason. The HERALD starts out on the assump.
tton-a something so selfevident as not to be dis
puted-that II the President wants third nomina-
tion to the Presidency, as the republican party is
now constituted, he can get it. That he will refuse
il big course q action gives. no one
grounds for believing But II hs should
ana should be elected would any particular
harm to republican Institutions result9 1t IL be.
because the idea does not seem repugnant TO the
mass Of republicans and that the party leaders are
tacitly acquiescing to such q probability that the
HERALD founds Its weightiest argument. When.
ever the people become insensble to the possibility
Of Cesarism-of one-man-pow history has
invariably shown that that people was often on the
very brink Of the evil from which IL had no
fears Probe the policy OF Grants administra-
tion and what do you nnd2 Dees it not
seek to absorb into the general government every
interest that It can Does not 1t In its leading
governments appointments select men who prove
themselves true to the wishes and interests Of
Grant, and II they do not are they not discharged'
Is there any hesitancy In using federal power and
influence for the upholding Of pure party schemes
or me election OF an svowed friend OF the Presi.
dent In any state OF the Unioni In short. what
u there LEFT undone that is possible to do that
Caesar or Q Napoleon, II President, would not also
have done or do to perpetuate his poweri