Year: 1872

J. Alfred Blimmer, Esq, editor anc
proprietor of the Morning Glory, having
observed the disposition of persons
who have been bereaved of their rela
tives to give expression to their feel
ings in a poetical form, reflected that il
might perhaps be good thing to intro
duce to his paper department ot
obituary poetry. He considered whether
if, when an individual inserted fifty
cents worth of death notice, the estab
lishment should contribute half dol
lars worth of mortality stanzas, his
paper would not at once become the
most popular vehicle for the conveyance
of that peculiar form of melancholy in.
telligence to the public. And Mr..
Brimmer rightly estimated that, as most
newspaper readers seem to take a deeper
interest in such sepulchral news than
in information Of any other kind, the
ournal containing the largest supply
would have the greatest number of sub
scribers.


So Mr.. Brimmer determined that he
would, as an experiment at any rate,
engage an obituary poet for short time,
with the purpose to give him permanent
employment if the plan seemed to take
with the public. Accordingly he sent
for Mr.. Bennington OFT, a constructor OF
verses, who had frequently contributed
to the colu ans of the Morning Glory
poems of what would have been consid-
cred by fastidious student of English
literature an appalling and revolutionary
character.


Mr.. Brimmer soon effected an ar
rangement with the bard, by which it
was agreed that Mr.. OFT should take a
position in the office for a short time,
and whenever a death notice arrived he
should Immediately endeavor to grind
out some verses expressive of the situa-
ton.


"You understand, Mr.. Off," explained
Brimmer, "that when the death of an
individual is announced, want you, as
it were, to cheer the afflicted family
with the resources of your noble art. 1
wish you to throw yourself, you may
say, into the situation, and to give them
a verse or two about the corpse which
will seem to be the expression of the
emotion of the hearts of the living"


ITO tighten the gloomj in certain
sense, suppose p said Mr.. OFT.


+" Precisely Tighten the gloom. Do
not mourn over the departed; butrather
take joyous view of death, which, after
all, Mr.. OFT, is, as it were, but the en-
trance to a better life. Therefore, L
would advise you to touch the heart
Strings OF the afflicted with a tender
nand, and endeavor, for instance, to
divert their minds from contemplation
of the horrors of the tomb"


Refrain from dependency, l sup
pose, and lift their thoughts to"


"Just col And at the same time
combine elevatlng sentiment with such
practical information as you can obtain
from the advertisement. Throw a
glamour of poesy, for instance, over the
commonplace details of the everyday
life of the deceased. People are fond
of minute description. Some facts use
full for this purpose may be obtained
from the man who brings the notice to
the office; others you may readily sup
ply from your imagination"


"Ill throw off stanzas," said Mr.. OFT,
" in such manner that people will want
their friends to die for the sake of the
poetry"


But above ALL" continued the editor,
take a bright view of the matter al
ways. Make the sunshine of smiles
burst through the tempest of tears and,
If we don't make the Morning Glory hum
around among the mourners of this town,
my name Is not Brimmer."


He was right. 1t did hum.


Ioe next Gay hemlnStOn OGt went on
duty, and Brimmer ran down to the sea-
shore for breath of fresh air. All
through the day death notices came
pouring in, and when one would reach
Ott, he would seize il and study it up tc
ascertain particulars. Then he would
rush up stairs, lock himself in his room,
take down his rhyming dictionary, run
his fingers through his hair, and hack
away half an hour at piece of paper
until he considered that he had that
poetry in shape which would make
the stricken family feel proud of the
corpse. When his days work was done
OFT went home with a conviction thai
the No, ming Glory had finally robbed
death of its terrors, and made life com
paratively valueless.


In the morning Mr.. OFT proceeded
calmly to the office for the purpose o