Year: 1871

Another Phnnlx Risen from Poor Johns


Ashes.


The following DER true tale, which 10
told in vein equal to anything from the
pen of John PhGnix, or Mark Twain.
will be appreciated by both press and
public. 1t is from the Philadelphia Da-
patch.


A week or two ago one Of our report
crs had occasion to refer to certain wo
man, whom We will call Hannah Smith,
as a denizen OF the Eleventh ward. A
day or two afterwards huge man enter
ed the office with his brow clothed with
thunder. In his hand he carried fear.
ful club, and at his side trottsd bull dog
whom hunger evidently had made de.-
perate. With that quick appreciation OF
the situation which is creditabie TO the
superior intelligence Of an educated man,
the editor Of this paper and the propris.
tor darted to the window, climted out
side, slid down the lightning rod, and
went across the street to watch the
bloody fray through spyglass. With
the fearlcssness OF conscious innocencs
We sat still, merely inserting our legs in
two sections Of stove-pipe to guard
against any misapprchension Of facts on
the part of the bull dog. The man with
the club approached.


Are you the editor? ?" he asked, spit
ting on his hand and grasping his club.
We told him that the editor was out ;
that he had gone to the North Pole with
Captain Hall, and that he would not re.
turn before 1876, in time for the centen.
NAL celebration.


"Are you the proprietor" asked the
man.


We explained TO him that We were not
that the propristors were also out; that
they had gone to South America, for the
purpose of investigating the curative
properties OF cundurango. and they cx'
pected to remain there for several years.


"Well, whoever you are" exclaimed
the warrior, my name is Smith J"


We told him we were glad, because, il
there was one thing better than posses.
sion Of the name OF Smith, it VAS the
privilege Of knowing man ofthat name.
But, Smith, we said why this battle ar
ray? II is absurd for man to put on
the panoply of war, and frisk into edi-
tors sanstums fumbling club and ac
companed by dishsarenting bulldog,
simply because his name happens to be
Smith,"


He said he called in to burst the head
Of the man who had insulted his sister.


at is impossible, Smith, that such a
thing could have been done by any one
in this Office


"Yca, but it was though and her name
was published, too Miss Smith-Miss
Hammer Smith ~


MAY we be permitted to enquire, Mr..
Smith, what was the precise character OF
aiFront offered to Hannah"


"Well, you see;' said Smith, the
blackguard said she was a denizen. And
want you to understand = exclaimed
Smith, becoming excited and brandish
ing his club in wild manner over our
head, while the bulldog advanced and
commenced to sniff up and down our
stove pipe, 81 want you to understand
that she is decent young woman, with q
good character, and none OF your deni
zens and such truck. The man who says
is denizcn is blackburrd and thief,
and I'll smash him over the nose II get
a chance. They may say what they please
about me, but the man who abuses my
sister has got to suffer" And Smith
struck the table in violent manner with
his club, while the bull dog put his fore.
legs upon the back Of eur chair.


We pacified Smith with the dictionary.
We pointed our to that raging warrior
that the Webstarian definition ofthc word
denizcn gives such person An unof.
Tending character and deprives the term
Of everything like reproach. Smith said
he was satisfied, and he shook hands and
kicked the bulldog down stairs Tho
editor and proprietors, seeing that all
was safe. Immediately climbed the light.
ming rod and soon appeared at the win
dow, where they were introduced to
Smith, with the remark that they had re-
turned from the North Pole aud the
cline of the cundurango somewhrt unex
pcctedly, in order to surprise their rela-
tons


And now we suppose Smith will be
mad because we have told this story about
him. and he will be comeing down to in.
tcrvicw us again in wars magnifcently
stern array with fresh bulldog. But II
will be in vain. We have rented an Of.
ace in the top Of the shot tower, and have
planted torpedoes and spring guns all
the way up the stairs. We warn this in
cendiary Smith to beware.