Year: 1876

backslider, or that some patriot would invent a pair of linen trOu- sers that button on around the neck and have arm holes.-NOr. a0ich Bulletin.

 The new belt for ladies is said to be made in clasps four of which go around the waist. It will be diff ficult, however. improve upon the old style of belt, which is made in the shape of a coat sleeve and has an arm inside of it. We have ob- served, however, that this kind usually requires more than four claps.- NOraOGcd Bulletin.

 A young lady, who has been greatly annoyed by lot of young simpletons who stop under her window at night to sing eff ever I cease to love-" wishes Us to say if they will cease their fOolishness come in, and talk "business," they will confer a favor.

 The Alabama Planter complains that its little garden patch was unprOfitabIe last season: The snails ate up the cucumbers; the chickens ate up the snails; the neighbours cats ate up the chick ems, and we are now in search of something that will eat up the cats

 An old bachelor, upon reading that 1.-two lovers will sit up half the night with one chair in the rOom," said it could not be done, unless one of them stands or sits upon the floor. And such painful ignorance pretty plainly indicates that he has never been there.

 They don't appreciate music in Chicago. According to the TTn1eS, a number of young men were re- gently thrown into the lookup for simply singing in concert on the public streets, at an early hour in the morning, the well-known and popular air, i've won't go home till morning."

 The Wheeler exploring party recently found a ruined town in New Mexico, which the Indians say was built in the reign of Mon tezuma. A skeleton was found near the walls, and the natives warned the party that violent death or ill-fortune would result from disturbing it. The topogra, pher of the party removed the skeleton, and three days after was accidentally shot and killed

 They sat in the parlor and he squeezed her hand. "Oh, would this hand were mine," he sighed. "Why?" she simpered. Because if it was mine I could knock a bullock down with it better than with a sledge hammer. The last seen of that young man, he was trying to climb on top of the house by means of the water spout

 A white minister at a colored wedding said, "On such occasions as this it is customary to kiss the bride, but in this case we will omit it." To this unclerial re- mark the indignant bridegroom very pertinently replied "On such occasions it is cOstOmory to give the minister ten dollars, but in this case we will omit it."

 Not many years ago millionaire riding in car on the Indiana railway, noticed a very handsome girl sitting on fence, with whom, as the old adage goes, "he fell in love at first sight" Express train messengers assert that fences all along the line are daily Orna- mented with good looking females awaiting the coming of a million. aire.

 A New Jersey editor lost his best gold pen and holder a few days ago. After making a thor Ough search all over the office, and accusing a dozen tramps of its l theft, he happened to remember where he last placed it, and bend 1 ing down the top of his ear, dis covered no less than fourteen penholders of various styles which he had lost during the past two years.

 "My wife tells the truth three times day." remaked a jocose old fellow, at the same time cas ting a mischievOus glance at his better half.' Before rising in the morning she says, o. dear, l must get up; but I don't want to. After breakfast she adds, well, I suppose I must go to work; but don't want to- And she goes to bed saying, There I have been on the move all day, and haven't done anything"

 Suppose" said a brOw-beating lo-ror fo a vuifnocC ho vx-aC {,xI