smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

s5s of course, but not impossible-and what novelist asks less :? 4 A

 The moral of the story is really excel lent. There is nothing about which judgments, both of young and old, are so nasty and uncharitable as about per sonal courage. Fighting old Charles v. once remarked, when he read on some old fighters tombstone that Che nev- CT knew fear. ' :. Then he never snuffed candle with his fingers" No honest man who has ever had tooth drawn, or made maiden speech, will de- ny that he has known that most uncom- fortable of feelings. The bravest men have run in battle and then lived to fight nobly another day." In fact personal courage is almost as much 8 matter of habit as of temperament. Does anyone believe that the cowardice of women is not due, largely at least, to inexperience and to the fact that the same self-control is not expected of them in face of danger as of men. Great physical courage is a grand thing-in man or in woman-but no man is entirely coward, or entirely want ing in cowardice Even if he has never yielded to "panic, Tit is not because the weakness is not in him, but because he has not been subjected to the onset of the sudden, unusual, overwhelming dan ger that might temporarily ''upset" him.
Year: 1873

On our first page will be found story upon which the following spicy criticism appears in Mondays Courant:

 It is said that good short stories are scarce. It would seem as if poor ones must be scarce also from the successful courses that one or two very poor ones have lately run. It cannot be denied that they are entertaining, perhaps that is the reason why they are printed, but they are successful as entertainment, not as stories. The high moral tone of a thrilling narrative now in active course through the newspapers is worth notice. A spirited youg girl hears from a young mans lips the statement that he was once on land when servant of his was in the water and drowning. Being utterly un- able to swim, the man on land ran for help; being utterly unable to swim, the man in the water perished before help arrived. For this act of dreadful coward ice the youth cofessed that he despised himself. She kindly agreed with him. Instead of telling him that she loved him she told him to go away. He went and she cried. Months after, she repented and sent for him, but he had gone to Af- rica. His ship took fire. All the passen- gers left. Suddenly wife and chi1d-not his-were discovered on board. The boats went back. He went aboard the ship again; W. and c. take his place in the boat. She ship sank, and so did he, as he had not yet profited by his early expe- rience and learned to swim. He sent her 0 note however-short and necessarily written in some haste In it he sent word that he thanked God for having given him chance to do one brave deed, and that now that he was worthy of her he died happy. She read the note, smiled for the first time since he began to tell his little bathing adventure, and then. smiling she died, The chief lesson of the nonsensical romance seems to be the fol- ly of trying to write story when the wri- ter has no brains. Just such people as that, though, do not learn lessons.

 We never saw a worse instance of the injustice of s'sn1art" writing than the fore going The story in question is we'll told; the part that sketches the young lady's has, ty scorn of what seemed like cowardice; the noble frankness and charity of the re- iected lover, and her tardy Eepeptance, strike us as done beautifully to life. The regret of q brave man at not having made every effort to save life he could not by any effort have saved, had deepen ed into morbid self-accusation that colored his recital of thestory to his ruin. The rest of the tale is very improbable,
Year: 1873

The loss by the Wawasset disaster proves to be nearly seventy lives, and the worst results of the disaster appear un- occasionally due to criminal negligence. The boat was carrying double the num Der of passengers its license allowed. Life preseryers, it is Low said, were in reach of all; but, owing to the confusion and disorder, none were used. One boat, seized by negroes and kept for those of their own race, was upset and most of those on board drowned. No captain of any spirit or resource would have allowed such Q state of things as prevailed on board that unfortunate boat; and we hope its owners will be made to feel that over greediness for gain is sometimes little unprofitable.
Year: 1873

To dream of milestone about your
neck is q sign of what you may expect
if you marry an eXtravagant woman.


1t is very lucky to dream that You
pay for thing twice over, since after
wards you will probably take care to
have your bills receipted.


For person in embarrassed circum-
tances to dream he is arrested is vary
fortunate, for it is warning to him on
no account to accept bill.


To dream of fire is sign that--if
you are wise-you will see that all the
light in your house are put out before
you go to bed.


To dream that your nose is red on tip
is an intimation that you had better
leave brandy for W ater.


To dream ofhaving a great number OF
servants is-madness.


To dream of bear betokens mischie'
which your vision shows yon is a br'lin


When a fashionable young lady
dreams of a tilbert, 1t is n sign that he'
thoughts are running on the colonel.
If YOU dream of clothes, 1t is warn
ing not to go to law, for, by the rule o
of contraries, you will be sure of a non
suit.


When young lady dreams of cofli'
| it betokens that she should Instantly
discontinue tight stays, and always &c
warmly clad in wet weather. Ne,o for'
| ErDreSs
Year: 1873

The law provides defender for eve
ry arraigned criminal, no matter how
well known his crime, but it will not
do for bad mans counselor to try to
make his crime joke, and try to ridi-
cule it out of court. Such course fair
ly leaves the lawyer open to distrust.


Counselor Higgins, of the State Of,
was exceedingly adroit in defending a
prisoner, and would sometimes laugh
down an indictment for small offense.
A fellow Zone Smith) being on trial for
stealing turkey, the counselor attempt
ed to give good, human turn to the
affair. s'Why, gentlemen of the jury, "
said he, "this is really very small af-
fair. 1 wonder any one could bring
such a complaint into court. Ii we are
going on at this rate, we shall have
business enough on our hands,"


Higgins then alluded to the 'forag.
ing expedition" of his college days, and
the boys thought it no harm TO take
poultry here and there once in while
when they wanted a sly supply. Bu
notwithstanding this appeal, the jury
convicted the prisoner.


After the Court arose, one of the jury
plain old farmer, meeting the counse
lor, complimented him on his ingenuity


"And now, Squire said he fixing
rather knowing look upon him, g
should like to ask you one question
Which road do you take in going home
the upper or lower one:"


"The lower" said the counselor.


"Well, then, it's no matter. onl!
wanted to observe that if you were go.
ing my way, l would just jog on befor'
YOU and lock up my hen-house.
Year: 1873

Consider it yonr religious duty to
take out door exercise witho ut fail each
day. Sweeping and trotting around
the house will not take its place; the
of the open air and change
of scene are absolutely necessary. Oh,
1 know all about Lucy's gown that is
not finished, and Tommy's jacket, and
even his coat - his buttonless coat
thrown into your lap, as if to add the
last ounce to the canel's back; still i
say, up and out. Is it not more import
ant that your children in their tender
years shonld not be left motherless, and
that that they should not be born to that
feeble constitution of body that will
blight every blessing? Let buttons and
strings go. You will take hold of them
with more vigor and patience when you
return, bright and refreshed; and if
every stitch is not fini shed at such a
moment-and it is discouraging not to
be able to sympatllize in your best ef-
fort-still remember that "she who hath
done what she could'' is entitled to
no mean praise. Your husband is un-
doubtedly the best of men, though there
are malicious people who might answer
that that was not saying much for him


till, he would never to the end Of time


iream OF what we are dying of. So ac.


,ept my advice and take the matter il


land yourself.
Year: 1873

Smith fired at so often and which he
failed to KILL" And then he thumped
heavily down upon the table wooden
decoy. Smith grew very red in the
face, and all laughed except himself and
the two lawyers, who began to see
looming up before them a huge practi-
cal joke. The decoy was well peppered
with shot, showing that Smith had not
fired as wildly as he had imagined.
When order had been restored, the
Squire decided that the costs of the suit
should be divided, that the defendants
should cook the duck in dispute, and
that they should then fsie the prose-
cution to eat it with them. This decis-
ion was eminently satisfaetey to all but
the attorneys, who swdff n6andly at be-
ing so yictimized; but as each was paid
the fee agreed upon, they were some-
what mollifed. The deception was
then explained to Smith. By means of
a stake, ring had been fastened in the
centre of the pond under tine water. A
cord was attached to the decoy, and
passed through the ring. The operator
was screened by the mill Whenever
anyone would fire, he pulled the cord,
and, as a matter of course, the duck
dived. The Squire was into the secret,
and he consented to assist at the mock
trial. The only parties sold were the
lawyers and Smith. The latter has
grown older and wiser since then. He
has cut his wisdom teeth, and now when
out shooting ducks he takes good look
before lifting the gun to his face.-7Nv
Field and Farm.
Year: 1873

Here is true dog story; A fam lily
down town having false CRATE in one
of the rooms of the house, placed some
red pepper behind it to give the effect Of
fire. One of the coolest days this win
ter the dog belonging to the household
came in from out doors, and, seeing the
peper in the CRATE, deliberately walked
up to it and laid down before it, curled
up in the best way to receive the glow
ing heat as it came from the fire. He
remained motionless for few minutes;
feeling no warmth, he raised his head
and looked over his shoulder at the
CRATE, still feeling no heat he arose and
carefully applied his nose to the CRATE
and smelt of it. 1t was as cold as ice.
With a look of the most supreme dis
gust, his tail curled down between his
legs,every hair on his body saying, ,"I'm
sold" the dog trotted out of the room,
not even deigning to cast look at the
party in the room who had watched his
actions..and laughed so heartily at his
misfortunes. That dog had reasons as
well as instinct.-Troy Times.
Year: 1873

Out in certain Western fort some
time ago, the Major conceived that ar
tillery might effectively used in fight
ing with the Indians by dispensing with
gun carriages and fastening the cannon
upon the back of mules.


So he explained his views to his COM
mandent, and it was determined to try
the experiment. A howiszer was selec-
ted and strapped upon an ambulance
mule, with the muzzle pointed toward
the tail. When they had secured the
gun, and loaded it with ballcar-
fridge, they led the calm and steadfast
mule on the bluff, and put up target
in the middle of the river to practice at.
The rear of the mule was turned toward
the target, and he was backed gently
toward the edge of the bluff. The off,
GERS stood arond in semi-circle, while
the Major went up and and inserted
time fuse in the touch-hole of the how
itzer. When the fuse was ready, the
Major lit and retired. In few seconds
the hitherto unruffled mule heard the
fixing back there on his back, which
made him uneasy. He reached his
head around to ascertain what was go
ing on, and as he did so his body turned
and the howitzer began to sweep arond
the horizon.


The mule at last became excited, and
his curiosity became more and more eX-
tense; in second or two he was stand
with his four legs in bunch, making
six revolutions minute, and the how
itzer threating sudden death to every
man within a half mile. The comman-
dant was observed to cline up tree,
the lieutenants were seen sliding over
the bluff into the river, as if they didn't
care at all for the high price Of uniforms
the adjutant made good time towards
the fort, the sargeant began to throw up
breastworks with his bayonet, the ma
jor rolled over the ground and groan-
ed. In two or three minutes there was
puff of smoke and thud, and the
mule-oh, where was he! A solitary
brute might have been seen turning sue
cessful back somersalts over the bluff,
only to rest at anchor, finally, with his
howitzer, at the bottom of the river.
while the ball went towards the fort ,hit
the chimney of the Majors quarters,
rattling the above bricks down into the
parlor,a and frightening the Majors wife
into convulsions. They do not allude
to it now, and no report of the result OF
the experiment was ever sent to the wal
department.
Year: 1873

"Here we are now, within quarter oil
a mile of land" was the joyful announce
ment made by the captain of an ocean
steamer TO his grumbling passengers.
" Where Which way Is 1t 2 " were the
exclamations which followed. Any
where down below there" said the cap.
tain, pointing toward the bottom Of the
sea "the lead gives US Just two hundred
and twenty fathoms of water, and the
land comes slap up against the brine"
Year: 1873

They get some bright juries in
Chicago occasionally. On Mon
day last, in one of the Courts there,
a burglar named White was on


trial. At the close of the Court,
when the case was given TO the ju-
ry, it was agreed that a sealed ver-
diet might be delivered. at eight
o'clock the Judgereturned to Court
to discharge the Jury it they had
agreed, but they had failed to do 30.
When Court opened the next
morning, however, they came in
with a verdict of acquittal. The
States attorney considered this
verdict so utterly at variance with
the evidence that he demanded
that the jury should be polled,
whereupOu 1t appeared that nine
of the twelve believed the prisO-
ner guilty, but had been SO tired
out by the obstIhacy OF the other
three that they had agreed to ac-
quit him. The jury were at once
sent back to reconsider the case,
and in one hour returned wilL u
verdict Of guilty, fixing the pun
ishment-a part of jury'S duty
in lllinois-at one years impris-
onmeht in the PenitentiarY.
Year: 1873

Three Irishmen who had dug
a ditch for four dollars, were quite
at loss to know how to divide
the pay "aqually." But one of
the number had been to school,
and reached division in the arith-
metic so it was left to him. He
did it at once saying: ''It's aisy
enough! Sure there's two for
you two and two for me too"
The two received their portion
with a greatly increased respect
for the advantages which learn
ing gives a man.
Year: 1873

The desire for notoriely leads II
| a great many peculiar actions, but
few people, afflicted with The ma
MIA, have conducted themselves
much more strangely than a Ger,
tain John Butler, a pawnbroker,
of Oldham, England. For sever
al years he has. been receiving let
ters threatening him with death:
and once he was badly stabbed in
the breast, but no clue has ever
been found to his mysterious enc,
my. Very lately he received a
letter with a key in it. 1t said:
"Tbe key to the mystery. Open
it and you will know your enemy.
Yours, Nobodyl'F A few days later
a box wrapped in brown paper
was found tied to his door knob.
On trying to open it in presence Of
his brother he found it locked, and


he accidentally remarked that
probably it explained the key


mystery. Taking the key he un-


locked the box, but did not open
! it until he had turned it around
so that itopened from him. Then


he lifted the cover. Instantly
there was loud report, a bullet
went whizzing though the window,
and the pawnbroker fell stunned
by the unexpected shock. His
brother revived him, and together
they inspected the Internal ma,
chine; which was marked Re
venge" in large letters on the in
side. The whole town was reused
to Indignation on the subject, and
fearful threats were uttered a.
gainst the man who could so per-
sistently haunt and trouble an in
nocent pawnbroker. The police
took the matter up, and to the as
tonishment of everybody discovered


that the pawnbroker was the au-
thor of all his own troubles. The
wire, the cord, and the paper of the


machine were but parts of pack
ages in his house; the pistol was
his own, and the proof was SO COM
plete that he had to confess, and


while he was about it he said that


he had written all the threatening


letters, had been his own assassin,
AID did not believe he had any
enemies, any how. ruYet ssovcem-
plete did he play hispart pn Ill dis


covered that, even after the po-
lice began the inyestigations be
wrote to a friend:: ave have not
as yet any clue to the mystery, but
whatever the result Of the Inquiry
may be, l have placed my whole


trust and confidence in the Lord,
who alone is able to deliverime
and whose mercy endureth for
ever.R 1t would seem almost SUI
perAuous to suggest the fellow's'in-
sanity, but the fact that they have


been taken, in by a acrazy man. does
not console the good people Of Old
ham, and yet there is no legal of


fence inwhat he has done, and he
cannot be prosecuted. Ill
Year: 1873

A few weeks ago we published
an extract from a Florida paper
showing up some of villianous
tricks of the legislators of that
State, who do not hesitate to
steal bills while on their passage
through the Legislature, in order
to defeat their passage. Now
from ? Pennsylvania comes anoth-
.er report of similar tricks prac
ticed inthe Legislature of that
State. The Harrisburg cores
pondent of the Philadelphia
Press thus speaks of them:


81 Several bills were found pass
ing from one house to the other
with interpolated amendments.
How many escape notice will
be known only as the laws are
printed. SenatorMcClure COM
menced two days before the
close of the session to stand be-
fore the clerks desk and person.
ally inspect every bill and a
mendment of public interest, or
relating to Philadelphia, as it
came from the House. He cut
one surreptitious amendment
from bill before the clerk, and
said to him that if complaint was
made by any Senator, to answer
that the amendment was in the
hands of the Senator from the
Fourth District, and would be
produced in open Senate if call
ed for. OF course no one would
call for it, for that would have
been confession of the fraud.
Three of his bills were stolen in
the House, and he duplicated
them in fveminutes, ,undera sus-
pension of the rules, and sent a
clerk to follow them through all
stages of the House.
Year: 1873

We know of nothing SO suscepti
BILE OF perversion as the efforts OF
a young man to kill a mosquito on
ayoung lady's cheek A cenSori.
Gus world would never forgive him
for trying to seize it with his teeth,
when any less extraordinary meth.
cd would do just as well. And
yet, i, is said that in New Jersey
no gallant of sound incisors ever
adopts any other method.
Year: 1873

Among the presents at an old
fashioned wedding in Indiana
the other day was gallon mug


filled with beer. The bride
drank first, and then all the wo-
men present followed her ex-
ample. When it came to the
hen there was nothing left
The bridegroom filed an old
fashioned, Iong-stemmed pipe.
took the initial Whit, and then
all the men tooka a long pub each
in his turn. q Ft0S
Year: 1873

An Indian tribe in Wiscon-
sin has organized a brass band,
and, as the sayages are prOtec-
ted by the Government, the
white people have no redress
There is a great deal of hard
feeling among the citizens to-
wards the young aborigine who
plays the cymbals. He per-
forms with such earnestness and
yigor that a vigilance commit
tee has been organized to way
lay him and take him apart, liz
order to ascertain whether he
is a real Indian or is merely II
yeted together and run by Il
steam, engine. The manner i'll
which he wakes the echoes amid
the everlasting bill would make
"a deaf and dumb asylum nervous.
When the band has serenaded
a mantwo or three times, he sue
.cumbs. He goes camlly around
among his little family, and re-
moves their hair, and scalps the
hired girl and the colored boy,
and after taking up the cOllec-
ton, he hands the whole lot of
punches over to the band, which
goes off happy to sweet strains
from the harmonic young Gym
bal player. If we lived there
we would battle his cymbals in
nitro-glyerine, and lift him over
Lake Michigan at the first
clash.
Year: 1873

g -1f. 'r 81 4duus lif1 ttf
The London Neaos tells the
story of aiyouhg gentleman in
Lincolnshire, who being engaged
: to marry certain young lady,
I came to her one day and said be
( had bet his cousin two bottles Of


wine that this young lady would
+ release him from the engagement
II he asked her to do SO. 1t was
all a bit OF fun, he said, and would
/ she write a note giving him up?
The young lady in question seems
to have quite entered into the
spirit of the joke; and in order to
procure for her lover the honor


and glory Of winning the two bot
ties Of wine, she gave bin a sheet
of paper on which she had writ
ten, Dear Mr.. B., [ wish
you to discontinue paying your


visits to me. | remain your we'll


wisher, A-H--." 1t was
certainly imprudent of this girl
to deliver any such formal order of


release to her lover; but it has fire.
quently been remarked that young
folks who are engaged are as inge-
niOus in devisiDg means for test


ing the confidence of each other as
are the amiable persons who take
country lad into a tavern, prof
fer him friendship, and get him to


lend them twenty pounds to show


that he believes In their honesty.


We have no means of knowing
whether this warrant of release


was not obtained as much as a


proof of affection and confidence as
a means of carrying out a Joke.


However, the defendant in o the
suit carried off the document, and
did not return it. Moreover,


meeting the young lady on subse-


quent occasion, he got from her a


brooch and a pair of earrings he


had given her, ON the ignoble pre-


tence that he wisheu toibuy her a
bracelet to match. After that


nothing was heard Of bim.-
Furnished with alelease from Tie


contract of marriage, LIE had sim


ply withdrawn himself, taking
with him what presents he could
conveniently recover. But here,
again, this very good joke was
doomed to have awkward results.
The young gentleman in question
found himself at the Lincoln As
sizes; and the jury would have
nothing to say to the bit of paper
that he obtained in such a humor-
Gus fashion. On the contrary,
they proceeded to assess the dsma-
ges done to the young lady's feel
ings just as if she had been the
victim of insult and injury COM
bined; and we all know that when
dozen iurymen start with that
notion, they generally make the
defendant pay pretty smartly.
The young man who won the bet,
if there was Il bet in the case, may
have got his two bottles of wine,
but he had to ray 9500 to the too
trusting young person who had
furnished him with written re-
lease. He will avoid such dan
gerOus Jokes In the fliure.
Year: 1873

n The St. Louis Democrat
thinks the back pay grab is not
likely to be forgotten, and says:


"If there are among the mem
bers of either the old or the new
Congress, those who think that
the enormity of the measure in
creasing the pay of members and
Senators will be quickly forgotten,
that it will have faded entirely
from the public mind before next
December, wheh the forty-ihird
Congress meets, we assure them
they are very much mistaken. 1t
is just precisely one of the things
which the people are not likely to
forget, and which political parties
cannot afford to ignore. So we
advise all whom it may concern,
to make up their minds to face the
issue Of repeal. and prepare To
meeti at the earliest opportunity"
Year: 1873

A Wisconsin justice divorced
a couple recently as follows: He
stood them in the middle of the
floor, backs together, and as they
walked away from each other he
the marriage ceremony
backwards.