Year: 1876

philadelphia Times.I


No, we are not having so much
trouble now as we have had," said thu
neatly uniformed turnstile-keeper at ont
of the entrances to the Centennial ground
to Times reporter the other day; "but
still the fools are not all dead yet. You'll
find, if ever the Centennial statistics are
made up, that more than ten per cent
of all the paying visitors make
us more or less trouble by their mis-
takes"


His was a gate that is not heavily
patronized in the earlier hours of the
day, and the writer was just congratu'
lating himself upon having an OppOr-
tunity for long talk when this hope
was demolished by the approach of a
Falstaffian German, whose putting and
blowing as he ascended the slight incline
leading to the gate could be heard for
hundred yards.


cit vos hot" he puffed, as he drew
from the depths of his trowsers' pockets
wallet almost big enough to serve an
ordinary man for valise, and took out a
two dollar note. After this he swabbed
off his broad, red face-the reflex of
many a departed lager-and waddled
into the gate devoted to the exhibitors
and others of the free list.


"The other gate, sir" said the polite
attendant.


"Vot vos der difference? My money
was goOt nOt?"


An explanation FIVE minutes long
persuaded him to 60 to the other gate
but here another difficulty arose. The
solid Teuton presented his two dollar
note, which was OF course refused.


"Mein Gotp he exclaimed, "von
blaces dey tells me shall not 20 in at de
gate because it vos for complimentary
peoples; at the other they won't take
mein money"


Then there was another explanation,
and at the end of twelve and hall
minutes by the watch which is to regu-
late the time of the new State House
clock, the irate German entered the
grounds. For twenty yards or more he
was heard grumbling, and he rather dis
trusted the genuineness of the crisp and
new fifty cent notes given him in
change.


"That Dutchman," said the gate
keeper, els fair sample of the people
we have to deal with. We are required
to be invariably polite, at the same time
firmly enforcing the rules, but can tell
you in this sweltering weather man is
often tempted to break out into solid
American cursing, even at the risk of
losing His place. Old women, especially
those from the country, are often very
troublesome. The newspapers have
done all they could to help us out, but
these people don't read. it seems to
me-"


"There are counterfeits presented at
the gates now and then, are there not"
asked the reporter.


"Not many now. Some time ago a
lot of swindlers drove flourishing trade
in that line, but the Commissioners
rooted them out. think the few coun-
terfeits presented now come to their
holders in the ordinary course of busi-
ness. There are places around the grounds
where fifty cent notes are kept for the
accommodation of visitors, but they
are generally fresh from the Centennial
Bank"


"YOu must see some queer people once
in WHILE" said the reporter.


81 should say so. Why, almost the
first customer have in the morning is
an old lady who has told,me in the
strictest confidence that she is the owner
not only of the Centennial Grounds but
of Fairmount Park itself. She seems to
take delight in strolling about her inn
proved property, but don't believe she
speaks to any ybody on the grounds. An
other of my early birds isa daily visitor
to Machinery Hall. He has notion that
he has nearly solved the problem of
perpetual motion. The only drawback
to his success, he thinks, is the destructi-
bility of metals, and this trifling defect
he feels sure to overcome before long. l
believe he can't make the combination of
metals he desires without capital, and /
shouldn't wonder if he haunted the
grounds in order to raise the wind"


"These turnstiles seem to me little
narrow" said the reporter.


"Well, they're good enough for the
ordinary run OF mankind, but now and
then somebody comes along that can't
get through, and we have the deuce of a
time to fix things. One day lady
weighing four hundred and twenty
pounds (and actually as broad as she was
long) applied at one of the gates for ad-
mission. She had fifty cent note in
her hand, but, contrasting the note with
the size of the lady, the door-keeper
thought it was an old-time three cent
shinplaster until he had looked at it
through a magnifying glass. Then he
asked the lady in the politest language
to come in.


"'Where said she.


"Here, said he. Then he looked at her
and turned pale. There was not turn
stile on the grounds that would admit
her, and the odds were twenty to one that
she could not squeeze through any of the
ordinary exits. He was in quandary,
but at length he decided to send for
commissioner. When that official ar
rived the order was issued admitting the
lady through one of the open gates used
for carts and wagons. TO register her
one of the keepers had to pass through
the turnstile and afterwards come out in
the usual way. Not long ago a fat boy
from the far West Che weighed nearly
five hundred pounds) was passed through
in the same way. The turnstile keeper
was somewhat indignant that the mother
of this youthful mountain of flesh should
have endeavored to pass him in at half
price on the ground that he was minor"


IT Is a lamentable fact that of the
thousands of different varieties of the
oranges and lemons, which reach our