Year: 1876




could not abide il. took it TO the watch
maker 10 be regulated. He asked me ii
| had ever had it repaired. said not
never needed any repairing. lie looked
Il look OF vicious happiness and eagerly
pried the watch open, then put small
dice box into his eye and peered into It's
machinery. He said it wanted cleaning
and oiling, besides regulating-come IN
a week. After being cleaned and oiled
aud regulated, my watch slowed down
TO that degree that it ticked like tolling
bell. l began to be left by trains. l TAIL
ed all appointments. got 10 missing my
dinner my watch strung out three days
grace TO four, and let me 60 10 protest !;
| gradually driited back into yesterday,
then day before, then into last week, and
by-and-by the comprehension came upon
me that, all solitary and alone, | was
lingering along in week before last, and
the world was out of my sight. seemed
to detect in myself sort of sneaking
fellowship 10 r the mummy in the museum,
and a desire TO swap news with him. /
went to matchmaker again. He took
the watch all 10 pieces while waited,
and then said the barrel was "swelled."
lie said he could reduce it in three days.


After this the watch GCerGged well {;
but nothing more. For half day it
would 60 like the very mischief, and
keep up such barking and wheeling and
whooping and sneezing and snorting,
that could not hear myself think for the
disturbance; and as long rs it held out,
there was not watch in the land that
stood any chance against il. But the rest
OF the day in would keep on slowing
down aud fooling along until all the
clocks it had left behind had caught up
again. So at last, at The end OF twenty
four hours it would trot up to the Judges
stand all right and jus. on time. 1t
would show fair and .qlare average,
and no man could say that it had done
more or less than its duty. But correct
average is only a mild virtue IN watch.
and took this instrument to another
matchmaker. He said the kingbolt was
broken. | said | was glad it was nothing
more serious. To tell the plain truth,
had no idea what the kingbolt was, but
did Tot choose to appear ignorant to a
stranger.


He repaired the kingbolt, but what
the watch gained in one way it lost in
another. 1t would run awhile and then
stop awhile, and then run awhile again,
and so on. using its own discretion about
the intervals. And every time it went
of It kicked back like a musket. |
padded my breast for few days, but
finally took the watch to another watch
maker. He picked it al TO pieces, and
tnrned the ruin all over and under his
glass; he then said there appeared TO be
something the matter with the hair trig-
ger. He fixed il and gave il a fresh start
1t did well now. except that always at
ten minutes to ten the hands would shut
| together like pair OF scissors. and from
that time forth they would travel togeth
er. The oldest man in the world could
not make head nor tail OF the time OF the
day by such watch. so ! went again to
have the thing repaired. This person
said that the crystal had go, bent, and
that the handspring WAS not straight -
he also remarked that part OF the works
needed halt soling. He made these
things all right, and then my time-piece
performed uuexceptionably. save now
and then, after working along quietly for
nearly eight hours. everything Inside
would let go all oil sudden and begin
TO buzz like bee, and the hands would
siraightway begin 10 spin round and
round SO fast that their individuality was
lost completely, and they simply seemed
a delicate spiders web over the face oi
the watch. She would reel of the next
twenty. four hours ia six or seven min
utes. and then stop with bang.


Iwent with heavy heart to one more
matchmaker, and looked on while he
ook her to pieces. Then | prepared to
cross-question him rigidly. for this thing
was getting serious. The watch had
cost two hundred dollars originally. and
seemed 10 have paid out two thousand
for repairs. While | waited and looked
on, presently recognized in this watch
maker an old acquaintance-a steamboat
engineer OF other days, and not good
en- eineer either. He examined all the
parts carefully just as all the other watch
makers had done, and then delivered his
verdict with the same confidence OF
manner.


He said


"She makes too much steam-you
want to hang the monkey wrench on the
safety-valve."


Drained him on the spot, and had
him buried at my own expense.


Ny uncle William (now deceased,
alas y used to say that good horse
was a good horse until it had run away
once. and that q good watch was a good
watch until the repsilers got a chance at
it. Aud he used to wonder what became
of all the unsuccessful tinkers, and gum
smiths, and blacksmiths; and nobody