Year: 1871




rant.


AUTUMN LEAvEs--Whcn winter comes
in.


THE BEST PLACE FOR THE BIIND-The
see-side.


RAILROAD "SLEEPERs"-The night pat
rons of palace cars.


Nor A BAD NAME FOR A FEMALE For
TUNE-TELIER-Prognosti-Kate.


THE MOST LIKELY THING TO BECOME A
WoMAN-Why, little girl.


THE Russians are going to try another
Worlds Fair in Moscow next year


IT is all very well to say "Take things
as they come" but suppose they don't
Gomez


WHY are birds melancholy in the morn
ing? Because their little bills are all
over dew.


Cincinnati is to have union de
pot that will be used by six railroad com
panies.


If duck goes into the water for divers
reasons, does he come on land for sun-dry
purposes?


If three feet will make yard, how
many hands need you employ to build a
wash-house in it


WHY does b precede in the alphabet?
Because you must be before you can see
Do you observe?


JUDY says she has heard that money
is the root of all evil, but she has no
objection to having trunk of it.


lT looks funny to see young lady
with both hands in soft dough, and a
mosquito on the end of her nose


IT is announced among the fall fash
ions that long trains of admirers are
considered desirable.


ONE Buffalo paper calls the editor of
another Buffalo paper the "bcst i'm
prOmptu liar in America"


IT isn't by any means the best way to
settle an account to let it stand, nor. for
that matter, to let it run either.
A coNsIDERATE organ grinder played
Deaf and Dumb Asylum, during whole
afternoon.


A CORRESPONDENT wants to know
whether, considering the great utility
of the ocean, poets are not wrong in
in calling it waste of water"


A New YORK dispatch states that the
assassin of the late Lord Chief-Justice of
India has been hanged and his body
uuiHcu ny NATIVES.


THE fashionable bonnets are now worn
so high that ladies have to get up on a
step to hold a parasol over them. i New
Bedford Mercury.


AN ill-natured contemporary says that
Rhode Island goes for narrow gauge rail
roads because she wants both rails to lie
within her territory.


AN enthusiastic editor, speaking of a
new prima donna, says: Her voice is
as soft as roll of velvet, and as tender
as pair of slop-shop pantaloons."


THE National Republican Committee is
to be formally asked by the Massachu-
setts State Central Committee to hold the
National Convention in 1872 in Boston.


THE judge of Texas court, wishing
TO sentence prisoner, had to throw cold
water in his face to wake him up. The
culprit "didn't take no interest in the
case"


A FRIGHTFUL accident occurred in the
Trimble Opera House, Rochester, n. Y,
the other evening. The gauze dress Of Il
ballet girl caught fire, and she was ter
ribly burned before the flames were ex-
tinguished. The hair was entirely burned
from her head.


AT Newark, N. j., recently in tearing
down an old building, the workmen found
between the ceiling and the floor of the
second story the petrified remains of a cat
in state of good preservation. Even the
whiskers of the cat remain. 1t is hard
as stone, and hollow.


A Boon TO INvALIDs.-We are happy to
say that we have found out the only thing
to take for the prevention of sea-sickness.
We hasten to give our readers the benefit
of il. 1t is a solemn vow never to go on
the water. If this is kept carefully it will
last for lifetime and is an infallible pre-
ventive.


THE Columbus (Ohio) Journal says
"A deformed chicken of common breed,
the deformity resulting from broken
back, was entered at the Muskingum
County Fair as Hungarian cock of the
Slavi Magyar breed, just imported and
the sapent judges, after gravely inspect
ing it, awarded it the first premium over
one of the finest poultry shows ever seen
in the country"


A CASE of rattlesnake poison has lately
been cured by hydrate of chloral at Point
Pleasant, N. j. A young man bitten by
the rattlesnake, and exhibiting the usual
violent and alarming symptoms, was treat
ed with the hydrate, five doses of twenty
grains each being administered, when
sleep followed and the patient awoke
after several hours with every symptom of
the poisoning gone,


A KANSAS CITY (Mo) book-keeper re-
ceived a note stating that he had been
selected by ballot from 1898 persons as a
! sacrifice to some spirit which required hui
man food. Supposing il joke, he pocket.
ed the note, but couple of hours after
/ nd n hull lnt la
window and struck the desk few inches
from his head. Probably the work of a
maniac.


FRIDAY afternoon young lady sitting
at front window, tossing in her hand
/ what might have been ball of white yarn,
/ attracted the attention of middle-aged
chap on the street, whose gallantry prompt
ed him to hold up his hand for catch.
The interest she displayed in hurling il
down to him was no deeper than what he
showed in catching it, although, as several
who saw the performance charitably re
marked, no one could have known the egg
was bad e.-[ Danbury News.
A SCIENTIFIC gentleman who was recent
! ly making geological researches at Hell
Gate made also curious chronological
discovery. On breaking n piece of rock
| by a blow of his hammer, out from the
very heart of the solid mass came a spider.
He did not seem in any wise shocked at
his sudden release from his dark prison,
but apparently delighted, and began TO run
away as fast as ever he could. The geolo,
gist, however, had no notion of losing
such prize, and impaled him on pin,
The spider had better have remained in his
rocky dungeon.


THE Oskaloosa Qowa) Herald says
"John birth, of Farley, concluded he
would commit suicide the other day--his
fatherin-law was not kind enough to him.
He went to a drug store and purchased
arsenic went home and took it, and in q
few moments was rolling on the floor in
mortal agony. The doctor was sent for.
He came, and brought the druggist along,
who spoiled the whole sensation by letting
1t out that he had suspected the young
mans intention, and had sold him chalk