Year: 1876




beau came up to see her and invited
Mary Jane out to have some ice cream
and soda water which has very exhila-
rating effect on some people, and it
proved to be the case with this young
man. just as soon as he had got
that ice cream down he began to think
how nice it would be to have Mary Jane
always with him, and then he began to
calculate how far $40 week would 60
towards supporting family, and he
concluded that with economy and man
agemcnt on Mary James part and some
self-denial on his, such as not playing
billiards once week, and limiting him
self to say ten cigars in that time, they
might live very nicely. Provisions did
not cost much, and Mary James clothes
could not be very expensive, say twenty
dollars year or so, and-well, he cal
culated it all as he walked home with
her and resolved that night to know
BIS, fsSe.


Mary Jane noticed that he was very
abstracted and guessed the reason and
felt glad within herself that she had
put Oh her white dress and new hustle,
beling quite sure that these had done
the business, for what young man can
resist white dress. let alone a beauti-
ful new hustle. When they got to the
front gate they saw that the front steps
were fully occupied by the residue of the
Jones family, so they sat on the horse
block under the spreading naples and
there he essaycd to tell the story of his
love. just as he got to where he was
going'to say in conclusion "rhe world
is dreary waste to me without you,
Mary Jane, will you marry me and share
my humble cot. big fat June bug
dropped from over head right down the
back. of Mary James dress. She jumped
up and gave Modocian whoop and
frantically cutched at the back of her
neck and souted ''catch him, o-o-o-wouch;
catch him, he's killing me; and the way
she'tore round there and danced up and
down scared the poor young man nearly
to death, and brought the Jones family
out headed by the old gentleman who
made straight for the supposed "him"
and kicked him off the sidewalk, ruin
ing his new summer clothes and causing
him TO. go right around the first corner
home


Then the. neighbors helped catch Mary
Jane and some one made a raid down
her back and brought forth the bug, and
she wept sorcly and trod it ruthlessly
under foot, remembering what might
have been if the bug hadn't BEEN


Then she explained it all very clearly
to those neighbors, but they shifted their
noses in the air ard remarked TO each
other privately to the effect of its being
very likely story indeed that a June
bug should stir up such fracas and get
young man kicked off the walk, they
guessed. If the truth was known etc.


All this week Mary Jane has gone
round with disheveled locks and has at
tained chronic squint from much watch
ing through closed blinds for form
that2 don't come; and the young man
stays within the fastness of the store and
wonders. with pain that never dies,
what allied Mary Jane, and if they al
ways act that way, and the evenings and
mornings go right on and don't answer.


A physician in his recent work on
physiology, remarks that sit is estimat-
ed that the bones of every adult person
are required to be fed with lime enough
10 make mantel- piece every eight
months 1t will be perceived, there
fore, that in the course of about ten
years each of us eat three or four man
tel-pieces and few sets Of French
door-steps and in long life, we sup
pose, 10 is fair to estimate that healthy
man could devour the Capitol, and per-
haps two OF three mediam-si2cd marble
quarries besides 1t is awful to think
of the consequences if a man should be
shut off from his supply of lime for a
while and then get loose in cemetery.
An ordinary tombstone would be hardly
lunch for him.


Mark Twain, speaking of new
mosquito netting, writes: 1.-The day is
coming when we shall sit under our nets
in church and slumber peacefully, while
the discounted flies club together and
take it out of the minister


The following, from a Chicago source,
may be received with some reserve ::
Last Tuesday, while St Louis young
woman was putting on pair of BALI
clippers, she found missing sealkin
Jacket in the toe of one of them"


This is the kind of weather that
makes man wish either that Adam
hadn't been so successful as back-slider,
or that some patriot would invent pair
of linen trousers that button on around
the neck and have arm holes.


A man in town yesterday with no hair,
and bullet hole in the calf of his leg,
saws he is satisfied that there is gold in
the Black Hills. He also says he is
satisfied that there are Indians in the
BLACK Hills