Year: 1873

TR XI.yG Nv EXPERIMENT.


He came in with an Interrogation point
in one eye and stick in one hand. One
eye was covered with handkerchief and
one arm in sling. His bearing was that
of a man with a settled purpose in view.


81 want to see," says he ''the man that
puts things into this paper"


We intimated that several of US earned a
frugal livelihood in that way.


"Well, I want TO see the man who cribs
things out of the other papers. The fellow
who writes mostly with shears, you under
stand!''


We explained to him that there were times
when tn most gifted among US, driven to
frenzy by the scarcity of ideas and events,
and by the clamorous demands Of an insa-
table public, in moments of emotional in
sanity plunged the glittering shears into
our exchanges. He went off calmly, but
in voice tremulous with suppressed feel
ing and indistnct through the recent loss
of half dozen or so of his front teeth


"Just so. presume so. 1 don't know
much about the business, but want to see
man, the man that printed this little piece
about pouring cold water down drunken
mans spine of his back, and making him
instantly sober. If you please, want to
see that man. 1 would like 10 talk with
him."


Then he leaned his stick against our desk
and moistened his serviceable hand, and
resumed his hold ON the stick as though he
were weighing it. After studying the stick
a minute, he added, in a somewhat louder
tone:


"Mister, came here to see that 'ere man.
want to see him bad"


We told him that particular man was not
in.


"Just so. presume so. They told me
before came that the man wanted 10 see
wouldn't be anywhere. I'll wait ior him.
I live up north, and I've walked seven
miles to converse with that man. guess
I'll slt down and wait"


He sat down by the door and reflectively
pounded on the floor with his stick, but
| his feelings would not allow him to keep
still.


"I suppose none of yor didu't ever pour
much water down drunken mans back
to make him instantly sober, perhaps"


None of us in the cffice had ever tried
the experiment.


"Just SO. thought just as like as not
on had not. Well mister l have. Itried
it yesterday, and I have come seven miles
on foot TO see the man that printed that
! piece. 1t wasn't SO much of piece, 1 don't
think but l want 10 see the man that
printed it, just few minutes. You see,
John Smith, be lives next door TO my house,
when I'm 10 home, and he gets how-come-
you-so every little period. Now, when he
is sober, he's all right if you keep out of
his way but when he's drunk, he goes
home and breaks dishes, and tips over the
stove, and throws the hardware around,
and makes it inconvenient for his wife,
and sometimes he gets his gun and goes
out calling on the neghbors, and it amt
pleasant.


"Not that want TO say anything about
Smith but me and my wife don't think
| he ought to do so. He came home drunk
yesterday, and broke all the kitchen win
dows out of his house, and followed his
wife around with the carving knife, talking
a bout her liver, and after while he lay
down by my fence and went TO sleep. 1
had been reading that little piece it want
much of piece, and thought if could
pour some water down the spine of his
back, and make him sober, 1t would be
much more comfortable for his wife, and
square thing to do all around. So pour
ed bucket of water down John Smiths
spine of his back


"Well," said we, as our visitor paused,
"did it make him sober?" Our visitor took
a firmer hold OF his stick, and replied with
increased emotion:


"Just so. 1 suppose IL did make him as
sober as Judge in less time than you could
say Jack Robinson but, Mister, 1t made
him mad. 1t made him the maddest man
ever saw and Mr.. John Smith is a big
ger man than me, and stouter. He's
good deal stouter. Ble-bess him, new
er knew he was half so stout till yesterday,
and he's handy with his fists, too. should
suppose he's the handiest man with his
fists ever saw"


ask ed innocently.


"Just so. Exactly. suppose he won't
for me about the best he knew, but don't
hold no grudge against John Smith. Isup-
pose he amt good man to hold grudge
gainst, only 1 want to see that man what
printed that piece. want TO see him bad.
l feel as though it would soothe me to see
that man. i want TO show him how
drunken man acts when you pour water
down the spine of his back. That's what
came for"


Our visitor, who had poured water down
the spine of the drunken mans back, re"
mained until about six o'clock in the eye-
ming, and then went up street 10 find the
man that printed that little piece. The man
he is looking for started for Alaska last
evening, for a summer vacation, and will
not be back before September, ls7s.- Utica
Herald.