Year: 1870

Maria Ann recently determined to 90 to
picnic.


Maria Aun is my wife-unfortunately.
She had planned to 20 it alone, as far as
was concerned, on that picnic excursion :;
but when [ heard about 1t | determined to
assist. She pretended she was very glad !;
but l don't believe She was. 1t will do
you good to get away from your work for
a day, poor fellow she said, and We
shall SO much enjoy a cool morning ride on
the cars, and dinner in the woods


On the morning of that memorable day
Maria Ann got up at five o'clock. About
three minutes later she disturbed my sum-
bers and told NE to come to breakfast. l
told her | was not hungry, but it didn't
make bit OF difference, l had to get up.
The sun was up l had no idea the sun
began business SO early in the morning !;
but there he was.


Now said Maria Ann, we must fly
around, for the cars start at half-past six.
Eat all the breakfast YOU can, for YOU


co5iiu uUt estS any sitiss az 5rissS Tune m
the morning, and it was Just as we'll |
could not, for had all could do. There
was ice to be pounded to 20 around the
pail OF ice-cream, and the sandwiches to
be cut, and | thought | never should get
the legs of the chicken fixed so that
could put the cover on the big basket.
Maria Ann flew around and piled up gro
eeries for me to pack, and gave directions
to the girl about taking care Of the house,
and was putting on her new dress all at
once. There Is a great deal Of energy in
that woman-perhaps little too much.


At twenty minutes past six, [ stood on
the front steps with basket on one arm
and Maria AIMS waterproof on the other,
and a pail in each hand, and a bottle of
vinegar in my coat skirt pocket. There
was camp chair hung on me somewhere,
too, but forget US how.


Now. said Maria Ann, we must run,
or we shall not catch the ears.
Maria said /, that Is q reasonable
idea. How do you suppose can run
with all this freight p


You must, you brute You always
try to teaze me. If you don't want a
scene on the streets you will start, too


So | ran.


| had one comfort at least Maria Ann
fell down and broke her parasol. She
4 called me brute again because L laughed.
Maria drove me all the way to the depot
on brisk trot, and we cot on the cars
but neither of US could get a seat. and |
could not find any place where 1 could
set the things down, SO | stood there and
held them.


Maria l said, in winning accents
how is this for a cool morning ride ?
Said she, You are brute, Jenkins


Said l, My love, you have made that
remark before


kept my courage up, yet | knew there
would be an hour of wrath when we go
home While we were getting out of the
cars the bottle in my pocket got broke
and consequently had one boot half full OF
vinegar all day. That kept me pretty
quiet, and Maria Ann ran off with big
whiskered music teacher, and lost her fan,
and got her feet wet, and tore her dress,
and enjoyed herself much after the fashion
of picnic goers. 1 thought it would never
come dinner time, and Maria called me q
pig because | wanted to open our basket
before the rest of the baskets were open.


At last it came The nice dinner IL
the woods YOU know. Over three thou.
sand little red ants had got inte our dinner
and they were worse to pick out than fish
bones. The ice cream had melted, and
there was no vinegar for the cold meat
/ except what was In my boot, and Of course
that was of no immediate use. The music
teacher spilled cup of coffee on Maria's
head, and pulled all her frizzles off trying
to wipe off the coffee with his handker
chief Then sat upon a raspberry pie
and spoiled my white pants, and con
cluded didn't want anything more.
had to stand up against a tree the rest O.
: the afternoon. The day offered consider
able variety, compared to everyday office
life; but there were so many little draw
backs that | did not enjoy it SO much as
might have done.