Year: 1876

The ancient Greeks buried their dead in jars. Hence the origin of the expression, "He's gone to pot"

 Mir. Cod married Miss Fish, in Connecticut town, the other day. The affair passed of swimmingly. and terminated in Goldfish ball.

 In the fourteenth century monks were burned because they asserted the infalibility of tbe Pope, new this is the declared doctrine of the Romish church.

 Another conscientious man is opposed to opening the Centen- nial Exhibition on Sunday. He says Sunday is the only day he gets time for f1shing.-N0rriStoa0n Herald.

 Two young ladies of La Cross were standing by ditch 13 feet wide, which they didn't know how to cross, when their escort said snakes and they cleared it at bound.

 A man never really understands the doctrine of total depravity till he has worn pair of white panta' looms to a picnic and sat down on a plate of custard pie. An event of this kind will simplify whole system of theology.

 A young man in Auburn adver- tised that he wants to become the son-in-law of some respectable and reliable party. No objection to going short distance in the cOun- try. Is willing to marry young lady with an incumbrance of a small farm.

 This is the way a citizen of Den yer advertises for lost calf: Rund away-1 red and vite calf His tu be hint leg vas black, he vas she calf Enipoti vat brings him pack vas pay 5 tollar Jacob zuddering clear creek three miles behind the bridge.

 For a straightforward plea to the question of "Guilty. or not guilty?" commend us to the Mis- souri chap, on trial for murder. ":If your Honor please, I am guilty. I killed the man because he took my gal from me. She was about the only thing I had. an' didn't want to live after she went, an' didn't want him to live neither. An I should be much obliged to your Honor if you would hang me as soon as possible"

 Some old fraud says, "Get up with the sun if you want to be healthy and wise" It is easy enough to follow this advice in the winter, when the sun acts sen- sibiy, and doen't get up till seven o'clock; but when he commences to get up at four o'clock, we have observed that the wisest men give him about two hours start, and let their wives accumulate health and wisdom.

 These are "hard times" IT tell you why. The nation is spending more money for liquor than for all the bread it eats, all the books it reads. all the clothes it wears, and all the churches it has ever built. If every saloon could be shut up, and every bottle was smashed for ever, we should have better times in twenty-four hours. Gut off the headlines and let us move forward as becomes a great nation like ours.-Er.

 A man went into a furniture room at Mankato the other day and sat down on a wooden-bot- toned chair. He immediatly arose and danced aronnd like a wild dervish. The proprietor anxiously inquired if he had an attack of any kind. "A tack?" yelled the excited man. "I should say so: and the confounded thing stood .. on its head too"

 An Eastern exchange modestly gives the following valuable ad- vice: "Our readers will thank us for the following sure preventa- tive against hydrophobia in dogs: boil three tabIespoonfuls of salt and an ounce of carbolic powder in a pint of water, squeeze in al lemon, and let a piece of meat simmer in the mixture to give it attractive taste. Take out the meat, and put the liquid in cool pleace. Then, while the remedy is cooling, lead the dog out behind the barn till all four of his legs and shoot him between the eyes with Remington rifle. One pint of the liquid will be found enough for a hundred dogs.