Year: 1870

tlcman in this city should announce his inten-
ton of setting out forthwith for Africa in
quest of Dr. Livingstone, is there Life Office
which, for any premium, would grant him a
policyP Suppose, instead, that the valiant
advcnturer proposed to settle IN Memphis,
Tenn. would that better his bargain with the
actuares and accOuntantsf Suppose, again,
that weary of the slings and arrows OF out
rageous fortune, Mr.. MisanthrOpOs Miserrimus
desired nothing better than to shuttle Oft the
mortal coil, and yet shrank from the felony OF
feIo de se-could he do anything more to his
fell purpose than to take up his residence
in city celebrated for its daily hOmicidesf
Whoever sighs to be shot should at once pur-
chase q ticket for that anguinary region OF
rcyOlvers. Whoever, gr0aning under ennW,
has meditated changing himself into Gordon
Cumming, and making raid upon lions, may
find the stimulus and Utilization of danger
nearer home if he will but move to Memphis
for there the pistol is as common in the hands
of men as the ost-prandial tooth-pick in other
places-there the little irascible weapon is
alike arbitrator and executiOner-there disa-
greemcnt is adjusted by discharges, and
u pellet of lead cures the fever OF in
dignatiOn-there, if a man owes you ana
will not pay, insults you and will not apollo
gize, is exclusive and will not drink whisky
with you, gets the better of you in argument
and Extensively boasts of it, cheats or is
cheated by you at cards or billiards or nine
pins, and is noisy about the little irregularity,
everything can be made serene by sending the
disagreeable person to the cemetery.


And it must be understood that the Memphis
palate demands the very highest pcppering.
Nose-pulling is there considered efleminate.
Gaming aud cowhiding are milky-aqueous
expedients. Posting is no more Sc
rious than boys play. The true oheva-
lier of Memphis is like the giant in
the nursery rhyme-he is always smelling
blood and always declaring that " he will have
"somo.n He surpasses in nicely of honor the
most minute of historical swaggerers--he will
cavil not to the ninth only, but to the ninety
ninth part of hair. All, what a cheerful,
serene, delicious town to reside in ! There is,
indeed, the drawback, that although one may
be nicely reduced to "a demnition bOdy,n it
may not always be in ones own quarrel. The
little balls have a way of coming round the
corner and lodging in the wrong bosom,
while the blackguard whose business it is
to be shot disgracefully runs away. The
pistoleers of Memphis, it must he ac-
knOwledged are a little arbitrary and
indiscriminate; but even in this there may be
comfort, for, albeit you are put out of exist
ence and remOrselessly exterminated by a
mistaken avenger, you do not know but the
right man would have met you within twenty
minutes, and subjected you to proper and
orthodox taking off, Those who will live
where they cannot, by the utmost possible
prudence, help giving oflense to somebody,
must pay for the qualification of their prefer
ence. 1t is in Memphis as it was in Verona
in the dear romantic days of Romeo and Juliet;
sojourners must be careful how they bite their
thumbs at those the chief of whose diet is fire.
Since the old dueling days in Dublin, there
has never been so much popping for petty
causes as now in this Tennessee city. There,
the other day, two gentlemen" at their din
ners fell out upon the recOndite question
whether ga porter house steak has a bone in
1T" and the result was death to one of the
disputants. Soon after, two "gentlemen'
were engaged in game of nine pins, and be-
fore the last ball was rolled both contestants
were stretched lifeless upon the alley. Iu an
other case, tenant would MT or could Mt pay
his rent and speedily the account WIS ad-
justed by the death of the debtor. Even
the gentle sex has caught the sulphurOus
and sanguinary infection. Not long ago a
lovely woman 1--WE suppose that she was lovely,
of course-they all are) shot an unlovely man.
Love, business, politics-all that the Memphis
ians are, and MI that they do - gives OCCASION
for killing.


We have said nothing of the regular. pre-
meditated, and solemnly arranged duels, for,
compared with these street assassnatiOns, they
actually seem to be civilized and generous.
But it must not be supposed that the mono
maehy is at all rare in Memphis Those there
who are rather shy of assassination, yet 20 for
the slightest reason for reason AT ALL To the
field of honor, and either kill or are killed with
the greatest satisfaction either to themselves or
others. Newspaper men send or receive chal-
lenges as a part of their professional duty.
The craven who will not fight might as well
Kill himself if he Is at all desirous of dying
with dccency, for he will be sure TO encounter
the little leadcn ayenger coming round the
corner, or leaping point blank from the muzzle.
Ii is not pleasant to think that these bullies
and breands and slaughterers Of their kind
are not only our fellow-creatures, but our
fellow -citizcns. Has the Home Mission Society
no active cour lgcous, devoted servants to
spare for the regeneration OF Tennessee
Never mind the poor lndianS--give the Pale
Faces the first chance of regeneration.