smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

Blessed are they that are blind; for
they see no ghosts.


Blessed are they that are deaf; for they
never lend money, and never listen to
tedious stories.


Blessed are they that are afraid of
thunder; for they shall hesitate about
getting married, and keep away from the
political meetings.


Blessed >are they that are lean; for
there is chance TO grow fat.


Blessed are they that are ignorant; for
they are happier in thinking that they
know everything.
i, Blessed is he that is ugly in form and
features fer the girls will ne7er molest
him.


Blessed is she that would get married
but sant;' for the consultations of the
gospel are hers.


Blessed are the. orphan children; for
they have no mothers to spank them.


Blessed are they that expect nothing
for they shall nat be disappointed.


Blessed are they that do not advertise;
for they shall rarely be troubled with
customers.
Year: 1873

Set II pitcher Of iccd water IN II
room inhabitcd, and in few hours
it will have absorbed nearly all the
pcrspircd gases of the room, the
air of which will have become
purcr, but the water utterly filthy,
This depends on the fact that wa
ter has the faculty of condensing
and thereby absorbing nearly al!
the gases, which it does without
increasing its own bulk. The cold
CIR the water is, the greater its ca
pacity to contain these gases. AT
ordinary temperature, pint of
water will contain u pint of car
bonic acid gas and several pints
of ammonia. This capacity is
nearly doubled by reducing the
temperature to that of ice. Hence
water kept in a room II while is al
ways unfit for ucc, and should be
often removed, whether it has be
come warm or not. And for the
same reason the water in a pump
should be pumped out in the
morning before any is used. That
which has stood in a pitcher over
night is not fit for coffee water in
the morning. Impure water is
more injurious to health than i'm
pure air, and every person should
provide the means of obtaining
fresh, pure water for all domestic
uses,
Year: 1873

An editor in Reading advertised the
other day that he "would take good dog
in payment for one years subscription"
for his paper. The next day forty three
dogs were sent to the office. The day af-
terwnrd, when the news had spread out
into tho country, four hundred farmers
had sent two dogs apiece by express,
with eight baskets full of puppies, all
marked c. o. b. In the mean time the
Offer found its way into neighboring Sta
ties, and before the end Of the week there
were eight thousand dogs, tied up with
ropes, in the editors front and back yards
The assortment included all the kinds
from bloodhounds down to poodles. A few
hundred broke loose and swarmed on the
stairways and in the entries, and stood
outside the ssnctum and howled, and had
fights, and shifted under the crack of the
door as if they were hungry for some edi-
tor. And the editor climbed out the win
dow, up the waterspout and out of the
roof, and wept. There was no issue Of the
paper for six days, and the only way the
friends of the eminent journalist could
feed him was by sending him lunch up 10
him in balloons. At last somebody bought
barrel of arsenic an three tons Of beef,
and poisoned the dogs and the edito,
came down only to ind on his desk n bill
from the mayor for eight thousand dollars,


being the municipal tax on dogs at one
dollar per head. lie is not Offering the
same inducements to subscribers now, and
he doesn't want to buy a dog.--MaG Adeler.
Year: 1873

A bashful young man wrote an avow-
nj Of love to lady and waited an answer
through the mail. lie got the letter next
evening, and hurting to his boa riding.
house with it, was on the point Of reading
it, when some one came to the door, and
he Was obliged to shove it quickly into his
pocket. lie next went to n saloon, an
taking position in retired corner, was
about to open the missive, when the pass
ing to and fro of strangers made hin
more timid, md again showed it into his
pocket and skunk outdoors. lie tried sew
cral places with no better success, ar d
finally returned home, and at once went
to bed, where he remained in a state of
awful suspense, until not noise was
heard in the house; and then, being as
sured tlMt he was. entirely FREQ from in
terruption, he stole quietly out of he'd,
opened the letter with trembling fingers,
and througha mist of tears saw rhat he
was indebted to one of our druggists for
five bottles Of pom~de, 81 10.
Year: 1873

A man of this name is cantering over
the State, like wild Ass colt, professed-
ly in the interest of Temperance and
Prohibition, but really in the interest of
Bill Allen, Allen g. Thurman and the
Democratic party. He is a candidate for
Governor without party-a head with
out tail, and but very little of the
former He addressed mournfnl crowd
of a few dozen, shivering with the cold,
at Dover Springs, on Saturday afternoon,
and at the Court House, in the evening;
on both of which occasions, he made up,
in malignancy and falsehood, what he


X


Stewart thought he was very facetious
when he declared, that the last Legisla-
| ture evlnced more regard for the pro
| lection OF hogs from strychnine than the
protection of the people from the evils of
the whisky traffic" This was, of course,
the language of the blackguard, and only
proved its author to be q libeller
and a low flung demagogue He
suggested nothing in lieu of our present
liquor statutes. He did not show wherein
the Republicans could have made them
more efficient, but admitted that they
were nugatory. We make no such admis-
sion. They can be enforced in Clinton
county. Every dram-shop i'll Whining
ton can be dried up in less than thirty
days. If certain persons ever intent on
office and mischief, and hate, and melev-
olence, would cease their insane howl
about Prohibition" and go to work with
will, and spend their money freely, they
can close up all the gates of hell" in
Clinton county, in less than six months.
The man who refuses his time, his tai
ents and his money, to accomplish this
great deliverance, is not sincere friend
to the temperance cause; and we venture
the assertion, that when he is away from
hcme, and no eye but the saloon keeper
on him, he takes "his nip with the
gusto of London Alderman


There are no doubt, many ignorant,
simple-hearted people, who honestly be-
lieve that Prohibition is the remedy, but
we assure them, that it will not be ac-
complished until the Devil is chained
for thousand years Those who are
good i'll sacred mathematics are respect
FULLY invited to ascertain when that will
be. You must take man as he is The
whole world was once drowned, and it's
inhabitants submerged in the sea, and
yet Noah, the great commander in that
terrible upheaving of the great fountains
of the deep, got drunk and abased, and
disgraced himself, as soon after he landed
as possible. Is Gideon Stewart and his
followers, any wiser and better than that
illustrious old preacher of righteous
ness?' NoP No; nor anybody else


After all, you can only regulate" the
evils arising from the liquor traffic; and
you can't do that, unless backed up by
unanimous public sentiment You never
will while grass grows and water runs"
prohibit its manufacture and sale The
work of temperance must be wrought out
in the family, in the church. and by as
sociated effort. aided by cords of green
backs. Don't stand aghast, when money
looms up before the miserly visage of
some Of you! You can prohibit the flow
ing oil the tides just as readily as the
flowing of whisky. While corn and rye,
and wheat and barley grow, the devil
will distil and his devotees will drink
Year: 1873

Resolved by the General Assembly OF
the State of Ohio, That the legislature OF
this State hereby reject the said XIV. Ar
tlcle, proposed as an amendment to the
constitution of the United States, and on
behalf of the State of Ohio, refuses TO
ratify the same"


Now let the blatant old hypocrite Allen
again define Democracy-the same infer
nal party that for series of years SOL
emnly held that one-sixth of the native
born population Of the United States
never could become citizens, and had no
rights which the other five sixths were
bound to respect.
Year: 1873

The County Board is now in ses-
sion, and by some it is hoped that
the deliberations of that body will
result in something to relieve the
county from its present embarrass-
ing condition hut We confess that
to us there appears no way out of
the dilemma at present. Whatever
the Board may do we hope will bc
such as the people can acquiescc in,
and sustain the officers in carrying
out
Year: 1873

ABSORBED in election duties, and
smarting under the inglorious de-
feat Of our state ticket, we failed to
mention last week, the Presbyterian
entertainment, which was a rare
musical treat. The news Of the de
feat of Washburn reached ~ just as
the entertainment was to be given
and 50 completely bewildered rs
that we entirely forgot to attend !;
but on the word Of Democrats who
were present and in condition to ap-
preciate music, we learn that the
performance was all it was promised
to be, OF even better.
Year: 1873

THANKSGIVING FAIR AND FES-
TIvAL.-In accordance with estab-
lished custom, the ladies of the NJ.
E. church of this city will hold a
grand fair and festival on Thanks
giving Day and evening, for the
benefit of their church. Never be-
fore have these always energetic
ladies put forth greater effort than
they are now doing to make this
fair and festival attractive and sue
ceSStul
Year: 1873

We have private advices from Washington to
the effect that, in certain circles, more serious
sppreheneions of war with Spain are now in-
dulged than at any future time. This belief is
based upon the well known anxiety OF the Gu
bans for a war between the two countries, and it
L thought that sooner than they will allow the
FrJihiuS to be given up to our Government
they will fire her themselves and thus precipi
tate a conflict The morning papers state that a
delivery of the Virginius will be made to the U
S Fleet at Havana, but the date is not yet fixed
funn
Year: 1873

There was a charter obtained s0me time
ago for a polytechnic institute for colored
youth. and We believe an organization OF
the corporators was effected by the election
Of board of directors. a subscription list
was started to raise funds TO establish the
institution. and we believe that some money
was raised in that way, but we are unable
to say how much, or whether it was ever
applied to any purpose connected with the
enterprise if, indeed. there was enough
raised to make q start. We are unable to
say.


Such an institution would be very useful
in all the Southern States. and we would
be glad if some philanthropist taking an
interest in the emancipation Of the colored
people would now do something to aid IN
finding him employment.
Year: 1873

An exchange in a late issue asks, "What
becomes Of the sons of successful men'"
To which the Norristown Herald replies:


This is one of those conundrums a boy
of only nineteen might answer without
sweating his shirt collar. Of course, the
sons of successful men, if they live long
enough, die and are buried, just the same
as the sons of unsuccessful mec."
Year: 1873

WHAT OUR FoREFATHERs DID FOR a
L1vrNo.-IIalf century ago bellows max
ing was thriving trade. Every house had
its pair of bellows, and in every well furn-
ished mansion there was pair hung by
the side of every fireplace. Ipswich, in
Massachusetts, acquireda notoriety all over
New England for the elegant and substan-
tial articles of the kind IL produced. But
as stoves and CRATES took the place of open
fireplaces, and coal was substituted for
wood, the de nand for bellows diminished
until the business as a separate trade quite
died out.


The same Is true of flint cutting. Flints
were cncc necessary, not only for fire.
arms, but for atinder-box which was as nee
essary for every house as a gricirOn or
skillet. Every one who looks to childhood
of forty odd years ago, must remember the
cold winter mornings when the persistent
rack of the flint against The steel sent up
from the kitchen an odor of igniting tinder
and sulphur which pervaded the house. /
have no more idea what became of the flint
producers than of the old man of sorrowing
memories who, three or four times a week,
called at our door with birthstone matches
at a cent for the half dozen punches. Both
have been as completely banished from
England and New England as have the red
Indians and the Druids.


Then, again, are gone the pin makers,
who, though they have been in their graves
this quarter of century, still figure in lec-
lures and essays to illustrate the advantag-
es of division of labor. Instead of pin
taking dozen men TO cut, grind, point,
head, polish and what not, as it used TO do,
pins are now made by neat little machines
at the rate OF three hundred a minute, of
which machines single child attends TO
half a dozen.


Nail making Mt the forge is another lost
Industry. Time was, and that in this nine
teenth century, when every nail was made
on the anvil. Now, from one hundred TO
one tho ousand nails minute are made by
machinery. The mailer who works at the
forge has but a bad chance Of competing
with such antagonists; and be would have
no chance at all were it not that his nails
are tenfold tougher than the former. AS it
is the poor men follow an all but hopeless
vocation, and are condemned TO live in con-
tinued hand grips with poverty.
In the days of Presidents Madison and
Monroe, and even later, straw bonnet max
ing was practsod in every middle class
house where there were growing families,
as straw plating Ormed the staple of do
mestic leisure work. At my grandmoth-
er's around the huge kitchen fire place,
Caesar, born slave, who sat on an oak
bench directly under the gaping chimney,
and we boys, who crowded upon the settle,
used 10 pass the evenings splitting straws
while lassies were plating them. Then
bonnet7 were bonnets, with margin of a
foot or two to spare, and presenting sort
of conical shell shaped recess in which
dimpling smiles and witching curls nestled
in comfort. The work has vanished and
never will re-appear, unless the whirligig
of fashion should glide again into the for
saken track.
Year: 1873

TAKING OFF a SETTING HEN.-The city
man who goes into the country to spend
tho summer must make up his mind 10
learn something of the routine Of rural life.
A New York man, who is spending the
hot weather season with family on Pine
street, was asked by the lady of the house
if he would take hen off the nest, as it
wanted TO set and she didn't want it to.
Certainly said he, and Immediately
star led out TO the barn where the hens
W ere kept, TO crush out the maternal pros
poets of this particular one. He went
straight 10 tho nest TO lift her off, and
rea ched out his hand for that purpose, but
immediately drew il back again, and tuck
ed it up under the other arm, and squeezed
il a little, while he drew up bis lips as if
alb )ut to whistle something. Then he stood
there and stared at the hen, and she lifted
up her head, and stared back at him, wink
ing her eyes with with singular velocity.
sect of, won't you?" said he, after pause.
She made no response. lie drew out his
hand and looked at a red spot on one Of
the knuckles, and then put the knckle in
his mouth TO cool it, looking all The while
at the hen, and wondering how on earth
she moved so quickly. The longer he eyed
her, the less inclined he felt TO touch her,
and finally he climbed up post TO beam
which ran over the nest, and working his
way out on it till he got just above the hen,
took off his hat and shook it at her, and ad-
vised her to get. But she only looked up
at him, one eye at time, and clucked
ominous ly. He t.ld her if she didn't leave
he would come down there and kick her
| thru ugh the side of the barn, but immed-
ateIy gave up the blood-thirsty design
when he reflected that it was dumb an
imal and couldn't reason like human be-
ing. Then he happened to think of his
pants, which were white linen, and rubb-
| ed his fingers on the beam TO find them full
of black dust, which led him TO work his
body arond TO look at the pants, and while
IN aking this very natural move, he sudden
| ly slipped, made plunge TO renew his hold,
shrieked for help, slipped again, and then
ca me down on top of the hen and the nest,
smashing them both TO the floor, npsetting
barrel, and filling tho air with dust,
feathers, hen-noses and shrieks. When
the family reached the barn, the unfortu-
nate man. looking something like circus
poster on legs, had got on his feet, and was
turning around, and rubbing his head in
an abstractcd manner, and every time he
turned, an omelett on white linen base
eame to Siew, whilo the hen stood mp in
the lurthest corner on one leg, with look
OF mingled astonishnent and reproach on
her countenance. After five minutes of
indus trious application with a chip, the
gentleman was escorted into the house,
where his head was bathed with spirits,
and his comfort generally attended TO-.


Ddnbury NeicS
Year: 1873

Men often speak of good manners as an
accomplishment. speak of them rs a du-
ty What, then, are good manners? ? Such
manners as the usa2es of society have rec
ognized as being agreeable TO men. Such
manners as take away rudeness, and remit
to the brute creation all coarseness. There
are a great many who feel that good man
ncrs are ellemnate. They have feeling
that rude bluntness is Il much more manly
than good manners. 1t is great deal more
beastly. But vixen men are crowded in
communities, the art of living together is
no small art. How to diminish friction
how TO promote ease of intercourse how
to make every part OF a mans life contrib
ute to the welfare and satisfaction of those
around him. how to keep down offensive
pride how to Danish the raspings of sell
fishness from the intercourse of men how
to move among men inspired by various
and connictive motives, and yet not have
collisions-lhis is the function of good man
ners.


1t is not ell'eminate to be refined. And
in this land no man should plead inability.
There may be peasantry in other countries,
there may be class in foreign lands, who
have no opportunities; there may be those
whose toll is so continuous, whose oppor-
tunlties for knowing what constitutes good
manners are so few, and whose ignorance
Is so gross, that they are excusablo; but
Year: 1873

A SENSIBLE AssoCIATIoN.-The cores
pondent OF the Bellows Falls Times says:
A Dress Association is being formed at
Springfield, whose members propose to
wear a neat sensible style of dress-and not
to change the fashion except when an inn
proyement is made. They will offer pre-
miums for the best designs for different
articles of wearing apparel, to be approved
by a committee appointed for the purpose,
and the styles which this committee recom-
mend will be adopted by the society this
committee will be appointed annually to
examine new designs. The society will al
so purchase many articles Of clothing such
as they adopt in large quantities at whole
sale and furnish the members with them
at cost. An agent will bo employed by the
society to lecture on tho subject and assist
in forming auxiliary soc'ties in other pla-
Year: 1873

MORAL SUAsIoN.-A hot-tempered Dan
bury woman who finds considerable trou-
BILE in persuadug her husband to furnish
kindlngs, and then is obliged to do it her
self, read in religious paper, Monday, Of
how wife induced Il wicked husband TO
become one of the most aflectionate and
hopeful of men by being invariably calm
and loving with him. The story made a
deep impression upon her, and when she
started the fire that noon, she put pair of
rubhers among the wood. Then she tied a
handkerchief across her nose, and went on
with her work. When the husband reach
ed the gate, he paused, fetched sniff that
made hole in the atmosphere, and then
went around TO the back of the house, and
fetched another sniff that had an equally
damaging effect on the atmosphere. He
stared into the next yard and up at his own
house. and felt in his pockets, and was
about TO go around to the front again, when
his wife thrust her head out of the door
and said, "Why don't you come in the house,
you old fool? Come in and get your din
ner and let me read an article to you from
the Christian Secretary, you old rip. Come
in and see how nice it is to get DINNER
with nothing to burn but rubbers, you
whited sepulchre. Come in here, 1 tell you,
before lose my temper, and say what
oughtn't to- At this invitation he went
in, going upon the stoop and to tho door
very slowly, but, on opening the door, dis
appeared inside with marvellous sudden
ness. The neighbors say ho was cutting
wood all that afternoon, and thinking OF
the religious press.-Danbury Neips.
Year: 1873

Hunting and fishing are generally sup
posed 10 come under the same "head." Any
one that can fish well can, as a general
thing, hunt some, and vtce versa. l do not
claim TO be an ardent disciple of fabled
Actans, but have known mon who were
good Tor nothing else to go a-hunting and
kill four striped squirrels and ground
bird while their wives at homo did not
chop wood enough TO last more than two
days. 1t Is true they had 10 bring it from
the woods, but what oil that They could
find plenty of limbs which the wind had
broken down. 1t isn't like having TO cut
them. Such men are first-rate hunters.
They don't go crashing through the woods,
frightening all the game-not they! They
go quietly into the woods and find some
soft, messy knoll and cast themselves up
on it in reclining position and patiently
wait for the game to come to them. They
don't usually bring in great amount of
game at once, but they go often enough TO
make up that deficiency. They have one
virtue, and that is patience. l knew one
Of this class TO watch a squirrel hole from
8 o'clock in the morning till in the after
noon, expecting TO get Shot at the animal.
His wife told him when he started in the
morning that she wished he would get
home in time TO dig few potatoes for din
ner. When he got home his wife was so
iIl-natured as TO accuse him of staying
away on purpose 10 get rid of digging those
potatoes. Such men are great benefit 10
their neighbors, and they generally have
good wives who are magnanimous enough
TO do their neighbors washing for n shil-
ling per dozen, and take in saving at
twenty-five cents per diem; which shows
| that such men arc benefit to any neigh
borhood. If not direct benefits, still in an
indirect way they are beneficial for if ii
was not for their hunting propensities,
their wives would not take in washing TO
| support their families. Are such men ap-
| precated? No. In these degeneratng
days people must have some one to SANDER;
so, of course, they pitch upon this class,
and call them lazy, shiftless, etc, for they
| know that this class of men never prose
cute for obloquy-it is too much trouble.


Again l say that | am not much Of a
hunter; neither do believe that the woods
of Southern Vermont furnish good field
opportunities for sportsmen. The Rev
Murray describes his sports in the Adiron-
dack region as being very exhlaratine
and hcathful and l would advise ALL il
they wish TO go a-hunting, to invest about
two hundred dollars in an outfit and "Co'
for the Adirondacks.


MERLE ALLADYN.
Year: 1873

MILKING STooLs.-Let me tell how to
make what l call convenient stool. Take
a piece of board about eight inches wide
and two feet long; nail short pieces across
the ends to increase its strength, and to
bore holes through; pu. two legs in one
end eight or ten inches long, and one in the
other or the forward end trifle shorter.
Place the stool where you wait to sit tho
end with one leg in where you usually set
the pail. Place the pail on that end Of the
stool and sit on the other ; there you have
your pail out of the dirt, and tho COW can
not easily put her foot in it, as is so onen
the case when the pail is on the ground.


If the legs prove too long, saw them of
a little. Some cows are so low that you
are obliged to set the pail on the ground,
in such case you can turn your stool around.
Try it, and see how you like it.--Fcrmer's .
Daughter IN Western Rural.