Year: 1872

lately after writing to me. There were
expressions in the letter which seemed
to indicate that he had some such head.
long project in his mind. And yet,
surely Tit were so, / ought to have no.
tloed them at the first reading. can
only hope am wrong in my presen,
Interpretation of much of what he hae
written to me-hope it earnestly 70,
both our sakes.


This has been dole(ul day for me
l have been uneasy about Robert, and
uneasy about Mary. My mind il
haunted BY those last words Of hers
IL begun my lite wretchedly, and
"retchedly l am sentenced to end it,
her usual melancholy way of talking
never produced the same impression
on me that l feel now. Perhaps the
discovery Of the laudanum- bottle is
the cause Of this. I would give many
hard days work to know what to dc
Tor Mary's good. My heart warmed tc
her when We first met in the same
ng-house, two years ago; and
although I am not one of the over.af:
tect'onate sort myself, I feel as if ]
could 60 to the worlds end to serve
that girl. Yet, strange to say, if ]
was asked why l was SO fond Of her,
don't think l should know how to an.
swer the question.


March 7th. I am almost ashamed
to write it down, even in this journal
which no eyes but mine ever look on
yet 1 must honestly confess to nv,
self, that here I am, at nearly one ir
the morning, sitting up in a state o.
serious uneasiuess, because Mary hal
not yet come home. I walked will
her, this morning, to the place where
she works, and tried to lead her into
talking Of the relations she has 60
who are stillalive. NV motive in doing
this was to see if she dropped anything
In the course Of conversation which
might suggest a way of helping her in
terests with those who are bound tc
give her all reasonable assistance
But the little l could get her to say tc
me led to nothing. Instead of answer.
ing my questions about her stepmothe,
and her brother, she persisted at first
In the strangeet way, in talking Of he,
father who was dead and gone, and ot
one Noah Truscott, who had been the
worst of all the bad friends he had
taught him to drink and game. When
l did get her to speak of her brother
sac only knew that he had gone out tc
a place called Assam, where they grew
tea. How he was doing, or whether
hc was there still, she did not seem Il
know, never having heard a word ir ON
him for years and years past. As 70,
hor step'Aoshor, Mary. not unnaturally
few into passion the moment I spoke
of her. She keeps an eatlng.house Al
Hammersmith, and could have given hel
good employment in it i; but she seems
always to have hated her, and to have
made her life so wretched with abuse
and iil-usage, that she had no refuge left
but to go away from home, and do be,
best to make living for herself. He,
husband (Mary's father) appears tt
have behaved badly to her and, af
ter his death, she took the wicket
course of rovengiug herself on her step
daughter. I felt, after this, that i
was impossible Marv could 80 back
aud that it was hard necessity Of he1
position, as it is of mine, that sh,
should struggle on to make a decen
livelihood without assistance from an,
of her relations. I confessed as muct
as this to her; but ( added that
would try to get her employment will
the persons for whom I work, VIII
pay higher wages, and show littl
more indulgence to those under them
than the people to whom she is nov
obliged to look for support. I spok'
much more confidently than l felt
about being able to do this; and lef
her, as thought, in better spirit
than usual. She promised to be bacl
TO- night to tea, at nine o'clock, an,
now it is nearly one in the morning
and she is not home yet. If it wa
any other glrl I should not feel un
easy, for ! should make up my min
that there was extra work to be done
in a hurry, and that they were keep
ing her late, and I should go to bed
But Mary is so unfortunate in ever,
thing that happens to her, and he
own melancholy talk about herse]
keeps hanging on my mind SO, that


have fears on her account which woul
not distress me about any ono els.
1t seems inexcusably silly to thin
such thing, much more to write
down but I have kind of nervou
dread npou me that some accident y
| What does that loud knocking a
the street door mean? And thos
voices and heavy footsteps outside


Some LOGGER who have lost his key,


suppose. And yet, my heart


What a coward have become all of


sudden


| More knocking and loudor voices
must run to the door and see what
is. 0, Mary! Mary! I hope l an
not going to have another fright abou
you; but teel sadly like it.


Nfaroh Oh