Year: 1873




as follows; = .H3hifaf8s@ - y 3abaap
You see man of my age must sleep occa-
si0nally, and ever since the rheumatism struck


my other knee and extra flannel became neces-


sary, I've made it my practice to retire early;


not that I'm bashful about showing my prehen-


sile features in the parlors, but don't exactly
thirst to exhibit my "liniments" miscellane-


ously. Well, by the time I've got soaked and


swathed and packed comfortably away, like


croton bug ia fresh country butter, the band
begins to play right under me. It's good
band, q nice band, but an elderly gentleman,


with his interest powerfully excited about
sleep, and able to travel, would get up and hire
o pair of horses. and drive off huBdred miles
or 80 on the Ballston road, to got away from
Gideon's Band. However. you know that
heaven will bless if mortals will be kind, and
that, at some period of his natural life, the
breath of the best bassoon must give out So
you lie awake and trust to Providence and
apoplexy. By and by the trombone lets down
a bit, and the fellow on the flute weakens, and
you begin to think that schools out. Then tho
band across the way begins; my good friend
Gilmore comes in with his anvil chorus aad
fires off few colunbiads on the sidewalk;


but you call to mind how lightning struck tho
Boston Coliseum. and fall back on the fact that
it looked black 10 the West when he came up
to bed. By and by you get softly up, steal
quietly to your trunk, unpack your Ballard


rife from it's case, rapidly but careful not to


break anything. and slide the muzzle out of
the window without any attempt at ostenta-
ton Just as you've got the top of Gilmore's
head well covered, and are wondering whether
he will be able to get himself rooted over
again without going on to Boston for it, his
baton falls for the last time. like benedicti0n,
and you go back to bed happy in the thought
of having saved cartridge. Then the young
lady in the next room, who has piano, comes
skipping up stairs with tho wild grace and
gentle footsteps of Texas steer; one of the
airs the band played struck her fair and fragile
fancy. and she wishes to play it. She plays IT
on you so to speak. Until 2 o'clock in the
morning she just claws that ivory and howls
like l1natic under full moon. But at last,
even she stops BY the shower OF hair pins
on the floor it is evident that she's taking down
her hair for the night, and you return = ito
sheath the scalping knife which you had drawn
with dim idea of going in to assist her in un-
dressing. Now it's three o'clock, and You
think it won't be absolutely necessary to kill
any one before daybreak. But just as you get
to sleep, there's a smash and crash on the
sidewalk under your window. and You jump
up and look out to see which chimney has fallen
down. It's only the ice men, who has dumped
load, ten tons or so, of cOnjelatiOn, and you
retire, satisfied that patient prayer is power
ful purchase. But bark! the heavy sound
breaks in once more, and nearer. clearer, and
deadlier than before. Did you not hear itY
no; twas not the wind nor the horse car rat
tling DER the stony street; because they have
no horse cars at Saratoga; this noise can Be
nothing short of an earthquake; you are posi-
tive on this point but feel it your duty TO jump
up and look out and see if anybody's left alive
It's another ice man who has Just dumped .
bigger load under your window. From now
until breakfast time moro ice men than yon
thought could be found in the whole known
world seem to have forsaken their wives and
children, neglected their religious duties. aben-
doned their morning devotions and drinks. for
the cole purpose Of doing nothing but dump
ice under your window. What wonder that
you now give up all thought Of sleep. lose your
interest in earthly things, and with the resigned
expression Of bluefish when he discovers
that he has no longer any business in tho VA
ter, and becomes madly bent op getting into
the boat, turn with eager longing to . contegn.
plation Of that world where the provisions Of
the day are not gotten in quito 20 early in tho
morning, and the weary are not disturbed By
the rafting of ice-not much!