Year: 1870

A good story IS always IN order,
and is always an item. We have


Just heard one on a Northern Iowa


basis. A few weeks ago, so the


story goes, a prominent farmer in


Hardin county, who appears 10 nave


q good deal of red blood in his lusty


carcass, called at a neighbours house
when the neighbor himself was not
at no nc. But Mrs. Neighbor was


there, and gave Mr.. Iusty a gener-


Gus welcome. Now the lady. was


fat and fair to look upon, and it so
happened that of all other Kind of
females, this was the very sort the


deacon-fOr deacon he was-liked
the best. From childhood thedesire
to hug fat femalef had been the


thorn in the deacon's flesh, and now


here was the temptation enticingly
put before him. The eye kindled


as it looked, and the brave right


arm arched to crock itsels about the


voluptuous form of the unconscious
and innocent temptress. And crock
| it did-suddenly and lovingly. But
early on its way it found grief
The struggling captive was not that
kind of woman, and soon the deacon


discovered it. First, the argument


of sharp finger nails, and next, the
| fragment of q bread-tray brokenover


his head, gave the old fellow a sus-
Ipicion that the stolen sweets were
mot as sweet as they ought to be,
and finally vigorous dig in the
liver from q stove-hook convinced
him that distance, e,more than lent en-
Ichantment to that particular en-


chantress. So he let her 60, and


she soon let him go, with all the
blessings and other loose articles
she could bestow upon his noble,
but retreating form.


Soon came the husband home, and
lin his indignant ear was the woeful
story told. 1t was more than the
husbands human nature could bear.
| He loved his wife, and he knew his
Ineighbor. He had been introduced to
him, and so he felt free to go and
settle with him. He went, he saw,


he cussed him. The Deacon, know
ing he was in for it, took the short
est and most pious way out-owned
that he had gone little way astray,
that he had coveted his neighbor's


wife, that he did think he would like
to give her just one good hug; that


he had gently tried to obtain the
'one hug aforesaid, but when he found
out she had none to spare he didn't


try any more, and now, like an honest
man and good neighbor, he was
ready to pay the da nages and make
it even. The neighbor not liking to-
be hard on a friend, smothered his
wrath, put his pistol back in his
pocket, and said that was right-he
liked to hear man talk business.
The outrage was finally compromis-
ed by the grace of money,the deacon
suggesting and the husband acquies-
cling, that there was no use in spilling
blood over so small a matter. After
the debate upon the proper price of
hugs, it was agreed that $40 was
about right, whereupon the deacon
gave tie outraged husband his note
for that amount, when peace was
again spoken between them. But
the note was not money, Mr.. hus-
band thought he would trade it off |
for corn, and so he went to another
neighbor, one of the best men living |
as we personally know, and tried to
strike such bargain, The man of
the corn had heard the story, and !
didn't want the note. So he had
to seek another market. He hap
pened to think he wanted q shovel
plow. He went to Eldora, found the
plow the owner oft glad to exchange
it for the note, knowing, as he did,
that the deacon was good for ten
dollars, But when he presented the
note for payment, the paper wasn't |
honored The deacon fatty refused |
to pay it, pleading as his reason the
want of consideration. The holder |
swears he will sue on it. and have
the money yet. The plain question
in suit will be, has hug a CONNER
ciaI value-is it worth anything, or
isn't it? And ifif is of no value,
will it be proved that part of a hug
is worth ten dollars? The hug-loy- |
ing part of the world will breathless- /
ly await the decision of the Court
DeS MONIES State Register,