Year: 1873

n


See here, Mark Antony, if I was you
I wouldent take on so about the fash.
uns. They don't bother me. Its none
of your bisness what the women put on
or put off, so they behave themselves
and look just as purity as they can.
They are heap better than you or me
anyhow, whether they behave or not.
I wouldent give one woman for several
men no time; would you? Now see
him smile and pat that off foot. II
women want to wear bussels, let EN-
wear EN-. thought that panears was
the best because they stuck out side
ways and wasent in the way of leanin
back when they sat down, but they
know which is the best side to stick out
on, and its nobodys bisness but theirs.
They may wear anything they want to,
bussels and hoops and hang overs and
convexes and collapses and whimadid-
dies and stickouts and topknots come
down, and anything else so there is a
woman hid away somewhere inside of it
all. It's all shan-that rubber bussel--
there aint no substance nor rbackbonei III
it. I've seen EN- Hat and seen EN- blowd
up. There aint bit of harm in EN-,
but l never see one on q woman that !
don't want to hit it just hard enuf to
make it pop. I golly, wouldent she
Jump high and holler -? But I'm not q
going to do it no, sir; I've got too
much respect for women. Their bus
sells don't hurt. nobody, and I do des-
pise to see man always pickin at q
woman's close. If they dident wear
something to disgise 'em the men would
quit business when they cum about
Purity women always did wear some
thing to sl1eer the men away. It's been
so forever During the war seed one
who jest dressed as material as life
without any paddin or strffin, and
when she cum along the boys Jest laid
down and rolled over and hollered.-
They warent fit for business for a week


But / couldcnt bear to see 'em go with
their faces all tied up like
they do in Turkey. That would
mighty nigh kill me. If l can
look into their blessed counte-
nances L can put up with their fore
rigGin and hind riggin and top riggin
and all. A good, sweet, purity face
speaks for all the balance Of the craft.
I wouldn't marry marry girl OH the
earth till [ see her face, and not then
if she dident suit me. Ii the eyes,
nose and mouth are right, natur is an
endorser for all the balance. Paint
aint nothin--shape is everything. They
can paint Il shape, nor glance of the
eve. You may paint al house ever SO
white but that don't signify what's in
side of it. But when you see bright
roses and posies and blossoms in the
front yard and q vine over the door,
and clean, clear winder glass shining,
you may bet your hat on the balance


You incident worry about the bussels
nor the back. Women have been doing
that way ever since old Solomon wrote
about 'em. If they do lean q little as
theygo, it's all right, They CAN straight
en- up when its necessary. No spinal
disease about that. Thems the very
sort what can lift two bushels of meal
without crackin bone. It's only pas
sing fashun-and Will last till some
thing else comes along. Nature made
EN- that way. and You cant change it,


The more you try, the more you can't


The more you abuse their busse1s, the
more they'll stick EN- at you-sO let EN-
alone; I say They are all the same
about fashions, and the last one would
put EN- on if they had their own way





Jest rich enuf to give every lady in the
land string of diamonds and a hat
full Of pearls. Good gracious ! how
quick that Methodist disciplin would
be busted on the jewelry business
Well, do like to see them look purity,
and so far as am concerned, if ribbons
and flowers and fOunces and fllrs will
do it, its all right Some of the birds
dressed up mighty fine, and / reckon
their pride amt much of sin after all
But understand me, Mark, / don't
banker after bussels, tho they do say
it makes the incest little shelf for the
arm to rest On in the world. when fell
Ter is dancin around with his gal.
That's all right, provided the feller
amt dancin with my gal. If he is,
why he may take her and keep her,
that's all. BILL ARP