Year: 1870

Wv itoop icNihkt hIC WISE tI1UuR1 IO


understand this need of rest In the
mans harder life, and, accepting the
quiet of security as part of the condi.
tions of marriage, content themselves


with the undem onstrative love into
which the fever of passion has subsidized
Others fret over it, and make them.
selves and their husbands wretched be.
cause they cannot believe in that which
is not forever paraded before their
eyes. Yet what kind of home is it for
the man If he has to walk as If on egg
shells, every moment afraid of woun d.
ing the susceptibility of woman who
will take nothing on trust and who
has to be continually assured that he
still loves her, before she will believe
that today is as yesterday? or one
thing she may be certain no wife who
understands what is the best kind of mar
riage demands these continual atten.
tions, which, voluntary Offering of the
lover, become enforced tribute from the
husband. She knows that as a wife,
whom it is not necessary to court or
hatter, she has nobler place than that


which is expressed by the attentions
paid to Il mistress. Wifehood, like all
assured conditions, does not need TO be
buttr essed up; but a less certain posi-
ton must be supported from the out
side, and an in secure selfrespect, an un-
certain holding, must be perpetually
strengthened and reassured. Women
who cannot live happily without being
made love to are more like mistresses
than wives, and come but badly off in
the great struggles of life and the cruel
handling of time. Placing all their
happiness in things which cannot con-
tinue, they let slip that which lies in
their hands, and in their desire to re.
tain the romantic position of lovers,
lose the sweet security of wives. Per-
haps, if they had higher aims in life
than those with which they make shift
to satisfy themselves, they would not
let themselves sink to the level of this
folly, and would understand better than
they do now the worth of realities as
contrasted with appearances. And yet
we cannot but pity the poor, weak, era.
wing souls who long so pitifully for the
freshness of the morning to continue
far into the day and evening, who cling
so tenaciously to the feeting romance
of youth. They are taken by the gilt
ter of things-love making among the
rest and the man who is showiest in
his affection, who can express it with
most color, and paint it, so to speak,
with the minutest touches, is the man
whose love seems to them the most in
tense. They often make the mistake of
confounding this show with the sub
stance, of trusting to pictorial express
sion rather than to solid facts. And
they often make the mistake of cloying
their husbands with personal half child
ish caresses which were all very well
in the early days, but which become
tiresome as time goes on and the gravi-
ty Of life deepens. And then, when
the man either quietly keeps them off
or more brusquely repels them, they
are hurt and miserable, and think the
whole happiness of their lives is dead,
and all that makes marriage beautiful
at an end. What is to be done to bal
ance things evenly in this unequal
world of sex? What, indeed, is to be
done at any time to reconcile strength
with weakness, and to give each its
due? One thing at least is sure. The
more thoroughly women learn the true
nature of men, the fewer mistakes they
will make, and the less unhappiness
they will create for themselves and
the more patient men are with the hys-
terical eXcitability, the restless craving
which nature, for some purpose at
present unknown, has made the special
temperament of women, the femmes in
comprises there will be in married
homes, and the larger the chance of
married happiness. All ones theories
of domestic life come down at last to
give and take system, to bearing and
forbearing, and meeting half way idi-
osyncrasies which one does not person
ally share.