Year: 1875

AV

 A Pathetic Story of a Young Mother

 Widow.

 Florence Marryat, in her novel, "My Own Child," gives the experiences of a sixteen-year-old widow, whose husband had just died and whose infant was about to be born. She says:

 As is customary with young mothers, oftener feared that should die in my coming trial than live to see my child grow up and flourish. Any happiness I might experience in the prospect of it only came by fits and starts. It seemed too terrible an ordeal to survive, and my fear was at times overwhelming. brooded over it day after day till my de- pression was almost habitual, and haunt ing me even in sleep would cause me, to start up three or four times 8 night shrieking for help, and trembling from head to foot with a horror which could only feel and not interpret. Had any one on whom to lean in this extremity should have borne myself perhaps with greater dignity and trust :; but m ore than ever did I now feel myself to be alone. Had Hugh's dear, joyous voice been able to whisper assurance to me, however ignorantly, I should have be- lieved and rested on his word. Had I possessed mother to take me to her arms, and tell me that the possession of myself had outweighed all her pain, I might have taken heart from her ex- ample and learned to put my confidence in Heaven but had no one to speak to on the subject but such as were even less wise than myself. Aunt Tessie con- sidered it excessively improper that any one should allude to such thing as 8 baby until it had been dressed in Chris tian attire and laid in bassinette and Jane, with the horror of the uneducated of physical pain, and the wonderful ca pacity they have for dilating on the ter TOTS of situation, so augmented my vague fears whenever I mentioned the matter to. her that my sense, small as it was, pointed out the advisability of keeping my thoughts to myself. So I dragged out the weary days alone, and spring drew nearer and nearer and if I ever prayed, it was-not for protection and safety and happy future with my child but that l might die before it ever saw the light. I was so frightened.

 4

 It was the dawn of one of the earlier days of March when I lay in my bed so weak and exhausted that felt as if I were sinking through the mattresses and the floor, right, right away into infnity. Everything about me seemed as though were in 8 dream. The voices of the persons who moved about my room seemed far off, as if heard through log; and yet I could distinguish each word they said, and watch, in kind of indis- tinct and hay manner, the gray dawn that struggled through the white win dow blinds and fought with the sickly light of the candle which Dr. Carlisle seemed to be carrying all over the room in the most aimless way. could trace the unusual disorder of the apartment, and could see that the faces which had been so anxisusly peering into mine for the last twelve hours had settled down into something like their normal expres- sion again. knew, too, that my trial was over; but I was too languid to think of anything else. felt as if my weak ened senses were gradually fading away into inconsistencies, and all desired was SC to be allowed to fade away, and never to be troubled with pain or pleas

 

 and energetic squall from the other end of the room did not arouse me.

 "A fine child" said the doctor.

 every fine, sir," responded the nurse-who had been torturing me for twenty-four hours past with wise saws, questionable jokes, and worrying atten- tions, until I had begun to regard her as an emissary of the fend himself "I don't know as ever see 8 finer. She's regular beauty, she is; and such lungs, too !'

 These words, accompanied by another prolonged squall, made me feel little curious. Some of the few pleasant an- ticipations I had ventured to indulge in fickered back upon my memory.

 "Doctor!" I said, faintly.

 "Hush, my dearl You mustn't talk, :" was the immediate answer, and Dr. Gar lisle came up to my bedside and felt of my pulse. "So-sol We are getting on: But you must lie still, like a good girl, and go to sleep"

 "But my baby"-

 "Oh, the baby's all right A nice healthy little girl! Now, you know, everything's we'll over, and so you must just shut your eyes, and think of noth- ing put having good rest.

 But the squalling was still going on q believe they had putthe baby on the top of the chest of drawers to keep it out of the way), and something quite new. and that l had never experienced before, began to spring up in me at the sound, and make my heart palpitate with eager joy.

 "Doctor1 will go to sleep, but I must see my baby!"

 "Afterward, my dear, afterward; you are not strong enough yet. Trust me, everything is all right, and you shall have it as soon as you have rested lit tle."

 ''I cannot rest till I have seen it. Oh, doctor Nurse do give me my baby I"

 My agitation was rising. The nurse glanced at the doctor, and the doctor nodded at the nurse, and in another mo. ment bundle of flannel was laid on my left arm, and trembled with eagerness as pulled it open. A fat, pulpy, red face met my view, with nose that seem- ed to be spread half over it, two weak, swollen eyes feebly blinking at the light, and a mouth that was slit from ear to