Year: 1870

morning ride Oh the cars and dinner il
the woods


On the morning of the memorable
day Maria Ann got up at five o'clock.
About three minutes later she disturbed
my slumbers and told me to come to
breakfast. ] told her I wasn't hungry,
but it didn't make a bit of difference,
had to get up. The sun was up; I had
no idea the sun began business 50 early
in the morning but there he was.


Now said Maria Ann, I'VE must fly
around, for the cars start at half-past
six. Eat all the breakfast you can, for
you won't get anything more before
nOOn.'


I could not eat anything at that time
in the morning, and it was just as well
1 could not, for had all that I could do.
There was ice to be pounded to go
around the pail of ice-cream, and the
sandwiches to be cut, and l thought l
never could get the legs of the chicken
fixed so that l could put the cover on
the big basket. Maria Ann flew around
and piled up groceries for me to pack,
and gave directions to the girl about ta-
king care of the house, and putting on
her dress all at once. There is a great
deal of energy in that wOman-perhaps
a trifie too much.


At twenty minutes past six stood on
the front steps with a basket on one
arm and Maria AIMS waterproof on the
other, and pail in each hand and a
bottle of vinegar in my coat skirt pOck-
ct. There was a camp chair hung on
me somewhere, too, but I forget just
now.


Now, said Maria Ann, we must run,
or we shall not catch the cars


'Maria,' said I, that is reasonable
idea. How do you suppose L am TO run
with all this freight p


You must you brute. You always try
to teach me. If you don't want a scene
on the street you will start, too


So ran.


I had no comfort at least. Maria Ann
fell and broke her parasOI. She called
me brute again because I laughed.
Maria drove me all the way to the de-
pot on a brisk trOt, and we got on the
cars; but neither Of US could get seat,
and I could not find any place where 1
could set the things down, so / stood
there and held them.


Maria said I in winning accents,
'hOw is this for cool morning ride y


Said she you are brute, Jenkins


Said 1, My love, you have made that
remark before


kept my courage up yet I knew
there would be an hour of wrath when
we got home. While we were getting
out of the cars the bottle in my pocket
got broke, and consequently had one
boot full of vinegar all day. That kept
me pretty quiet, and Maria Ann ran off
with the big-whiskered music teacher,
and lost her fan, and got her feet wet
and tore her dress, and enjoyed herself
much after the fashion of picnic-gOers.
l thought it never would come dinner
time, and Maria called me a pig, be-
cause l wanted to open our basket be-
fore the rest of the baskets were opened.


At last dinner time came-the mice
dinner in the woods you know. Over
three thousand little red ants had got
into our dinner, and they were worse to
pick out than fish bones. The ice-cream
had melted, and there was no vinegar
for the cold meat, except what was in
my boot, and of course that was of no
immediate use. The music teacher
spilled a cup of hot coffee on Maria S
head, and pulled all the frizzles out try
ing to wipe off the coffee with his hand
kerchief. Then I sat on q piece of rasp-
berry pie, and spoiled my white pants,
and concluded I didn't want any more.
l had to stand up against a tree the rest
of the afternoon. The day afforded con-
siderable variety, compared to every
day life, but there were so many little
drawbacks that 1 did not enjoy it so
much as I might have done.