Year: 1876

The Most Astonishing Circumstance that

 Ever Game Under his Notice.

 One night during the recent troubles in the Pennsylvania coal regions, Potts was round at meeting of the mine owners, and after the adjournment he stepped into tavern. While there he met some friends, and in the course of an hour or two he got very intoxicated. On his way home he lost his hat, and 8 miner, who knew him, feeling compass sion for him, clapped on his head 8 miners hat and in order to make the dark street look brighter, he lighted the lamp in front of the hat. When Potts reached the house his wife had gone to bed and the lights were out; but Potts felt certain the lamp was burning in the hall, but he couldn't for the life of him tell where it was.

 He looked at the regular lamp and it seemed to be out; then hunted in every direction for the light, buthe was unable to find it, although it seemed to shine brightly wherever he went. Presently he happened to stop in front of the mirror in the hat rack, and then he saw precisely where the light was. After 8 brief obiurgation upon Mrs. Potts for leaving the light in such place he went up to the mirror and tried to blow it out. He blew and blew, but somehow the flame burned as steadily as before.

 "That," said Potts, "is the most ex- traor'nary lamps ever been my misfor- tune t encounter.

 Then he took off his coat, and, hold ing it in front of him, crept cautiously up to the mirror, and tried to crush the coat over the lamp, which still burned brightly. He said

 SThat's cer'inly very extra nary Moz 'stonishin' circumstanz ever come un'er my observation. Don'o how to count for itl"

 It occurred to him that perhaps he might smash the lamp with an umbrella. Seizing the weapon, he went up to the rack, and, aiming a terrible blow at he light, he brought the umbrella down. He missed, and smashed his Sunday hat into chaos. He took aim again, and caught the umbrella in the lamp over head, bringing it down with crash. Then he tried third time, and plunged the ferrule of the umbrella through the mirror, smashing it t6 atoms. He felt exultant for moment as the light dis appeared from, his vision, but he was perplexed to find there was another light somewhere, he did not know ex- actly where. So he sat down on the stairs and remarked:

 "Moz' 'stonishin' circumstanz ever come un'er my observation. Whaten thunder dog it mean, any howl Lights gone, an vets shinin'! Perfectly incomprehensible Wish to gracious Mrs. Potts d wake up an 'splain it. Durn f know what had better do 2"

 Then Potts took off his hat to scratch his head, in the hope that he might scare up an idea, and the truth flashed upon him. Gazing at the lamp for moment, until he drank in full conception of the trouble it had caused him, he suddenly smashed it down on the floor in rage, and extinguished it after covering two yards of carpet with grease. Then he went to bed, and in the morning Mrs. Potts informed him that some of those horrible miners had broken into the house the night before, and left one of their hats with 8 lamp. Potts turned over in bed so that she could not see his face, and said if the stern hand of the law wasn't laid upon those rufians soon, 1obody's life would be safe.