smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1871

Not long since, an article appeared in
the GOLDEN ERA, in which it was asserted
that the meanest man 10 the State resided
in Stanislaus County. Subsequent devel-
opments, however, prove that Tulare
County il ahead. The latter county has
the "houor" of harboring the meanest
wretch in Christendom Stanislaus will
therefore please pass over the belt.


There is an old man in Tulare County
80 miserly and incomparably mean, that
the heart sickens when we contemplate his
unparalleled acts


1t seems that his wife died last summer,
and no sooner had the spirit left its earthly
tabernacle, than he hurried off to neigh
boring dentist and borrowed pair of for
ceps, and immediately extracted all her
gold filled teeth. And while the prepara-
tions for the funeral were going on, he sat
out on big stone, back of the house,
cracking them like English walnuts with
an old claw hammer, and picking the FILL
ing out Of the cavities with shoemaker 8
sewing awl.


When demonstrated with by some OF his
neighbors, he said that he had spent the
best part Of his life picking and digging
to get gold out of the ground, and he'd be
gol-derned if be was going to bury any of
it again, and know of it.
Year: 1871

1t is perfect nonsense to talk about the
work of reconstruction being completed as
long as outrages like those reported from
South Carolina are committed day after
day. When men whose FIRST, last, and only
crime consists in being faithful to the
Union and loyal citizens, are hunted from
their homes or brutally murdered, the Gov
ernment to which they give allegiance is
bound to protect or avenge them, no matter
at what cost Things are certainly in a
pretty condition when band of armed
rufians tear up the track Of railroad up
on which United States troops were being
transported, and COMPEL them to proceed
to their destination on foot This is simply
defiance of the constituted authorities as
fragrant as ever was committed by Confed-
crate soldiers when Jefferson Davis reigned
all powerful in Richmond. Governor
ScoTT of South Carolina believes the dis
turbed districts must be permanently oc-
cupied by United States troops, and the
severest measures be taken to punish the
ill-disposed. The road to the Capital is
guarded by strong pickets, as the Legisla-
ture is believed to be in danger from the
Ku-Klux seoundrels. Evidently, the task
Of bringing South Carolina within the
Union has been but half accomplished,
and great deal has yet to be done before
order can be said to reign in that trouble
some region. We hope that whatever
may be necessary to that end will be done
speedily and thoroughly. No paltsring or
half measures will do The evil is deep
seated and must be excised from the very
roots.-TSan Francisco Chronicle.
Year: 1871

NATURE covers the wreck of battle
fields with kindly hands A correspondent
says that passing over the battle-felds of
the Wilderness and around Petersburg, he
saw delicate grass ard shrubbery growing
in empty ammunition boxes, 6ne rose
bush thrusting up its graceful form through
the head of a Union drum, and curling
verbena peeping out Of fragment of a
bursted shell, in which strange cup it had
been planted. That was, indeed, peace
growing out of war.
Year: 1871

Connecticut is ga pretty good COW, "
and "Uncle Sam" is fully aware of it; but
We should like to know how much it costs
him to do the milking New Haven
Register (Dem.)


What tedious process weaving is, to be
sure Here's the Register; has never
taken its eye of the teat that was pulled
away from it in 1860, and now wants to
know if it don't cost m2re to milk than it
did to give it to the calf The blame of
it all is with the Registers Democratic
friends who undertook in 1860 TO cut
up the COW. Remember that.-Hartford
Post (Rep)
Year: 1871

The island bearing this Gmiliar name
has been conspicuous for its production
Of salt, of which millions Of bushels finds
its way into the markets of the world,
our own country receiving about half a
million bushels annually. Salt isobtained
from sea water, by either extreme cold or
heat; here it is made by solar evaporation.
Lying under the intense rays Of tropical
sun, the sea soon gives up its water and
leaves its salt behind and were it'pot for
the influx of the mighty rivers ofthe trop-
les, and the general system Of currents
and tides, the ocean lying near the equa-
tor would soon become one vast sea OF
salt For centuries, advantage has been
taken ofthis natural process, and, in the
dry season, over thousand natives are
at work, in the different stages Of the pre-
paration Of salt for the market The sea
Year: 1871

Old Farmer B. isa stingy man,


He keeps all he gets and gets all he can;
By all his friends he is said to be


As tight as the bark on a young birch tree;
He goes to church and he rents pew,
But the dimes that he gives to the poor are few,
If he gets to heaven with the good and great,
He will be let in through the smallest gate
Now, Farmer b. besides dragging the plows,
Keeps a numbe- of very fine calves and cows;
He makes no butter but sends by express,
The milk to the city's thirstiness.


"What do the city folks know about milk?
They are better judges of cloth and silk;
Not man who buys, Il VOW can tell
If water it not, or water it we'll;


If they do not know, then where's the sin!
| will Put the sparkling water in
Thus talked TO himself, old Farmer B.
How mean he is young and old can see.
One night it was dark, oh, fearfully dark;
The watch dog never came out to bark;
Old Farmer b. in his bed dill snore;
When rap, rap, rap nearly shattered the door;
And voice cried out with hasty breath,
"Your best cow, neighbor, is choking to death. .
Clipping oft the end of a rousing snore,
Farmer b. bounded out on the bedroom floor:
And the midnight ycice was heard no more;
He pulled on his pants, he knew not how,
For his thoughts were all on the choking COW;
He flew to the yard like a frightened deer,
For his stingy soul was filled with fear,
Looking around by his lanterns light,
He found that the cows were there all right.
81 will give dime, - cried Farmer b.,
"To know who played this trick on me;
May the hand be stiff and the knuckle sore,
That knocked tonight on my farmhouse door. ;
With a scow on his face and shaking head,
Farmer B. again sought his nice warm bed;
No good thought came they were all o'crpowcreC
The little good nature he had was soured
When he went to water his milk next day,
The midnight voice seemed TO say


As he pumped away with painting breath,
''Your best COW, neghbor is choking to death. ;
The meaning of this he soon found out,
For a stone was driven in the old pumps spout
Old Farmer b. when he drives to town,
Now meets his neighbors with asayage frown;
They smile and ask as they kindly bow,
''How getteth along the best COW now ~
Year: 1871

Gambetta is said TO be disgusted with the
conservation OF the French people, and
threatens to punish them by banishiug him
self. The popular impression is that the
country will be able to survive the impend-
iny uriygtIou
Year: 1871

AIKEN at the sign of the Golden Eagle is
selling all dress goods at cost.
All hosiery and gloves at cost.
All hannels at cost.


All cassimeres at cost.


All real and imitation laces at cost.
All fancy goods at cost.


All bleached and brown sheetings and
shirtings at less prices than they can be had
elsewhere.
Year: 1871

Amadeus of Spain got his name prems
turely through mistake. Dogs are his
idols, and he took nearly hundred of them
with him to Madrid intending doubtless to
prevent the too rapid increase of merino
sheep in his new kingdom.
Year: 1871

Two amiable ladies of Now Haven, Conn
instead of going to church, spend their Sun
days in making the grand rounds of the rum
mills and reporting to the police those they
ind selling LIQUOR.
Year: 1871

Dr.. Hutchins' Headache and Cathartic Pills,
made in this city, have become one of the most
popular remedies, and are used in almost every
family, as the best regulator Of the stomach ar d
system generally, as well as q thorough purifier
Of the blood, which they have no equal. The
Doctor does not ask any one to take his word for
it, but just step in and he win show you letters
from all over the United States, speaking of them
in the highest terms, and ordering more. DR..
Hutchins has got just what the public want and
demand, and If he does not make fortune out
of them, it will not be on account of limited
sale, for the demand is enormous.--Sprinafeld
UHion.
Year: 1871

OYSTER SHELLs.-These shells are de-
rived from the minute quantities of lime
which is dissolved in sea water. which
amounts to only the one ten Thousand and
six hnndredth part of its weight. But the
oyster is wonderful pumping machine.
We speak of ''drinking lik fish, drink
ing like an oyster would be a more express
sive phrase. 1t is nov well known that in
testacea there is Il continual current pass
ing forward from behind within the mantle.
Supposing, now. that the oyster abstracts
the whole of the carbonate of l:me from the
water passing through in, which is highly
Improbable, the quantity of water required
to furnish an oyster shell would be soIha-
thing like fifty thousand times the weight of
the shell. The quantity is very Interesting
when we compare it with what a man i'm
bibes. In a lifetime of seventy five years,
it is computed that a man would not pass
through his body more than one thousand
tmes its weight of water. An oyster in the
same time would have got through many
thousand times the quantity required by the
most thirsty mortal, notwithstanding the
difference of their bulk.
Year: 1871

PLAINNESS. S.-Plainness is a misfortune so
much to be aggravated by mismanagement,
and to be redeemed and rendered tolerable
by ludiclous treatment, that the conscious
ness of it should make no one unhappy
The uglest of men boasted that he was
only five minutes behind the handsomest in
favor of the ladies. This may be true
where wit is thrown into the scale But the
plain man is also more bound to the pro
prieties and scruples of the toilet than his
weil-favored brother Old clothes and the
suspicion of soil tell on him with damninc
effect; and yet this care must never merge
into foppery. If he hits the golden mean
his reward will come. late, but surely At
sixty or sixty five. he will be better worth
looking at, be plcasanter object for the
eye to rest on. be welcomed with sweetel
smiles than the sloven of the same years,
can pretend that planness is no trial TO a
woman, therefore we ought the more to
honor the plain woman, who. hopeless Of
admiration, yet applies all the innocent art,
of nicely. taste aud femeuine tact to set of
homely features to the best advantage and
to procure a tout ensemble not conspicuous
ly unlovely. Fortunately, it as point on
which an Unlimited amount of self decep-
ton is possible, for there is charm indie
pendent of regularity and color and no
woman can be sure that she has no shadowy
touch o; such fascination.
Year: 1871

A GHOST SToRY.-Lord Brougham tells
the following gho st story on his father:


On all such subjects my father was skep-
tical. He was very fond of telling story
in which he had been an actor, and, as he
used to say. in which his unb,lieving ob-
stinacy had been the means of demolishing
what would hay have nade XerY X prett pretty gApai
Westminster, with party of young men.
one of whom was his intimate. friend. Mr.
Calmel. There was some talk about the
death Of Mrs Nightingale who had recently
died under some melancholy circumstances
and had been buried in the abbey. Some
one offered to b that no one of those pres
ent would go down into the grave and drive
a nail into the coffin. Calmel accepted the
ger. only stipulating that he mi ght have
lantern He was accordingly led into the
cathedral by door out of the cloisters, aud
there left to himself. The party, after
waiting an hour or more gor CaImel, began
to think something must have happened to
him, and that he ought to be looked after :;
SO my father and three or four more got a
light and went to the grave, at the bottom of
which, lay the apparently dead body of Mr..
Calmel He was quickly transported to the
prebend's dining room, and recovered out
OF his tanning ut. As soon as he could find
his tongue. he said: We'll, have won nv
wager. and you'll find the nail in the cofliu !;
but. by Jove the lady rose up. laid hold of
me, and pulled me down before | could
scramble out of the grave" Calmel stuck
to his story in spite of all the soothing of his
friends; and the ghost of Mrs. Nightingale
would have been all over the town but for
my fathers obstinate incredulity. Nothing
but an ocular inspection of the grave and
coffin would satisfy him; and so getting a
light he and some of the party returned to
the grave. There, sure enough. was the
nail, well driven into the coffin. but hard
fixed by it was bit of Mr.. Calmers coat
tail So there was an end of Mrs. Night
ingale's ghost. This grave afterward be-
came remarkable for Il very beautiful piece
of sculpture, by some celebrated artist, rep
resen'ing Mr.. Nightingale vaiu!y attempt
ing to ward from his dying wife the dart of
death.
Year: 1871

Tugs IMPROVED HAIR DYES admitted on al
sides be the most simple and natural Dye ever in
vented; it is easily applied does not stain the skin
leaves the hair soft eand glossy and is irsian
in its effect Try it and you will use ether


So u, No. 81 2ws.
Year: 1871

Happiness is inborn 1t is not an out
trait. 1t is generated in the soul. 1t is
never bought Or sold as an article of
commerce. You may fill your house
with all manner of beautiful and
curious things, but you can never lay in
stock of happiness in the same way. IF
you are happy. your happiness is that which
you are able % make by the use of the mind
itself. fundamental condition of happi-
ness is activity, and that kind of activity
which carries with it all the faculties.
Year: 1871

A CURIOUS LEGAL MODE. "A
very curious mode Of trying the ti-
tie to land is praetioed in Hindos-
tan. Two holes are dug in the dis
puted spot in each Of which the
plaintiffs and defendants lawyer
put one of their legs and remain
there until one of them is tired, in
which case his client is defeated.
In this country it is the client and
not the lawyer who puts his foot in
it.
Year: 1871

B A Mississippi thief The
ether day stole the heaviest carpet
bag he could find il the depot, and
after carrying it five miles. opened
it and found the contents to be
half q hundred Bibles
Year: 1871

FOOTPRINTS IN SoLm RoCK.-A
correspondentofth the Bowling Green
Democrat, writing from Woodbu-
~, Ohio county, says


Some time during the past sum
mer, while visiting friends fami-
ly residing some FIVE miles north
Of this place, my attention was
called to some impressions or foot
prints on a stone. Some fifty yards
in the rear Of the family residence
is very steep and rugged block
Of rock, which is probably one hun
dred feet high. Near the top Of
the bluff is a large opening or ca
vity, which has smooth, level
floor. On the rock fooE Of this
cavity lies a large sand rock, very
irregular in shape, upon one side
Of which are several tracks appa-
rently made BY baby feet. Some
of them are in a cluster, overlap
ping each other and are not quite
distinct in every part, but Just be-
low the cluster is one single track,
which is as perfect as could be
made by child stepping on soft
clay. This track is considerably
smaller than those in the cluster,
and is the only one of that size.
Year: 1871

RARE SPORT AT ASSEMBLY uALL.-The
grand fancy.dress skating carnival at AS
semhly Hall to. night will be source OF


great and novel amusement to many OF the


strangers now in the city as well us to our


home people. 1t is expected that there Will


be many costumes. and there will certainly


hs large number OF accomplished skaters
on the floor. 4 band Of music will also
lend its attractions to the entertainment,


and no little interest will be added TO it by
the contest between the friends of the Rich
mond bellies in view Of the premium OF q


season ticket to the rink, which will be


awarded by committee selected from the


audience to the prettiest lady in the room.
Year: 1871

TRIUMPHANT SUCCESS OF THE BEAUTIFUL
IyoRINHs AND VICTORIA CARDa. The proprle-
tor or the LHB Gallery is reaping rich harye.t
by the Introduction of bis novelties In the photo
graphic art. lie continues to keep his prices go
that this beautiful work comes within the reach of
all. The LEE Gallery Is not open on the Sabbath.
Year: 1871




To MAKE BOYS GOOD FARMERS.
AnlcricdB AgricuLtu,'iSt says g Induce
them to take an interest in the farm, in
the implements, in the stock; tell them
all your plans; give them history of
your own life, what you did and how you
lived when q boy but do not harp too
much on the degenerate character of young
men of the present age; praise them when
you can, and encourage them to do still
better. Let them dress up in the evening
instead of sitting down in their dirty
clothes in dirty room. Provide plenty
of lights. Thanks to kerosene, our coun-
try homes can be as brilliantly lighted as
the gas-lit residences of the city. Encour-
age the neighbors to drop in evenings
Talk agriculture instead Of politics. Speak
of the Importance of large crops, of good
stock liberal feeding and the advantages of
making animals comfortable, rather than
of7hard times low prices and high wages.
Above all. encourage the boys to read good
agricultural books. Papers are well enough,
but an intelligent boy wants something
more. Get him some good agricultural
book to study Read it with him, and
give him the benefit of your. experience
and criticism. When he has mastered this
give him another. In our own case, we
owe our love to farming principally to the
fact that our father told us everything he
was doing on the farm; answering all the
questions and encouraging rather than re-
fusing, our child-like desire of helping him
to plow, to chop, to let off water, and fire
the brush heap. IE
Year: 1871

The public sale of the personal property
of James A. Coffin, deceased, came off this
week. There was a large crowd in attend
ance, Notwithstanding the severity of the
weather Mr.. Coffin left a large amount
of valuable personality, and his friends had
the qualification of seeing it go off at good
prices.


THE Chancery Court muddle of this
county has been finally settled by the re-
establishments of the court at Madisonville,
with the county in Judge Keys Division,
and the appointment of Mr.. s. p. Hale as
Clerk and Master thereof. 1t is estimated
that the legislative interference to remove
Judge Temples appointee and put in one
of the right stripe, has cost the State about
five thousand dollars. This is supposed to
be an instance of the retrenchment and
reform peculiar to the party. grfa a'3Th


There is an effort being made to estab-
lish new county, composed of parts of
Monroe, McMinn and Polk counties. :


The press of the Pacific Slope generally
approve Grants message.
Year: 1871

Notices Of tie Press.


It is really the only illustrated chroncler of fashion
in the country. Its supplements alone are worth the
ing its position mirror Of fashion it also contains
stories poems brilliant essays, besides general and
personal gossip.-Boston Saturday Evening Gazette
There never was any paper published that SO de-
lighted the heart of woman, Never mind if it does
cost you new bonnet il will save you times the
price in the household economy it teaches.-Provi-
dence Journal.


The young lady who buys a single number Of Har-
Evening Post.


The Bazaar is excellent Like all the periodicals
which the Harpers publish, it is almost ideally well
edited and the class of readers for whom is intended
the mothers and daughters in average families-can
not but profit by its good sense and good TASTE which
have no doubt, are to-day making very many homes
happier than they have been before the women began
taking lessons in personal and household and social
management from this good-natured mentOr.-tThe
Nation, n. Y.
Year: 1871

The witty author of My Summer in a
Garden" " has been meditating upon the
results of the discovery of America by Co
lumbus. The firing. of salute in celebra-
ton of this event has set him to thinking.
He writes about it in the Hartford COm'a1H
in this vein: Perhaps it is not an open
question whether Columbus did good
thing in first coming over here-one that
we ought to celebrate with saiutes and
dinners. The Indians never thanked him,
for one party. The Africans had small
ground to be gratified for the market he
opened for them Here are two continents
that had no use for him. He led Spain
into dance of great expectations, which
ended in her gorgeous ruin. He intro
duced tobacco into Europe, and laid the
foundation for more tracts and nervous
diseases than the Romans had in a thou
sand years.


"He introduced the potato into Ireland,
indirectly, and That caused such a rapid
increase of population that the great FAM
inc was the result, and an enormous em1-
grafton to New York-hence Tweed and
Hall and the constituency of the Ring.
Columbus is really responsible for New
York. He is responsible for our whole
tremen dous experiment. of democracy, open
to all corners, and the best three in five to
to win. We cannot yet tell how it is COM
ing out. With the foreigners and the
communists and the women, it is great
8 age in which comedy and tragedy IN
one piece are being played, with what de-,
nOuement we cannot yet say. LII IL comes
out well, We ought to erect monument
to Christopher as high as the one at Wash
ington expects to be, and we presume 1t IS
well to fire occasionally to keep the an
cient mariner in mind while we are try
ing our great experiment.
Year: 1871

also take the responsibility to say and the
pleasure Of informing the ladies' and gentlemen
OF this community, that It has never been my
good luck to Cher such inducements to pur
onasers Of
Year: 1871




MANS "BurIeigh" tells this
story in the Boston Journal:


Coming up in the cars, quite an amusing
incident occurred. The palace Gals need Gus
tom. The common cars are few and crowded
aud those who would be comfortable are COM
PEELED TO pay extra and have seat in the
palace saloon. Several gentlemen stood. 4
lady took n whole seat 10 herself, and piled
up her baggage on the spot where weary zen.
t!emen would be glad to repose. The lady
LETT her seat for moment and went to the
rear. y gentleman at once went for it-pilcd
the bags on the seat the lady had occupied
and sat down. AL watched the operation.
Soon the lady came on with a quick STEP
She came to a halt, and said Sir, You lave
my seat 4 think not your luggage is on
Your seat Il have had the seat all the way
from Albany Yes, ma am, and I've stopd
nli the way from Albany. and intend to ride
the rest OF the way TO Ruihand.' Not an inch
did the woman bulge she held her ground
full ten minutes The intruder was quietly
reading-thc only one in the car that was not
absorbed in the affair. The silence was pain
tul At last the woman gave way. In huff
she seized her bundles, made for the palace
car, and paid for all the room she occuried.
Her exit was attended with short. sharD
cheer, and the audience recovered.