Year: 1871

DOUGLAS Cry, Dec. lS, II.
DEAR JoURNAL.-ln the entire absence of local
news what am | to write about It's no won.
: uer editors growl, and sometimes swear little
Let's see ; | can abuse you and Uncle Snort ),
Soine' Inc fact Isl you and that " Dog Fennel 3"
refugee are the only two mer in the county am
not afraid Of Just here Idesire cautionino the
puohc against impostors. Thusly-there are
only TWO genuine Dog Fennel refugees, and that's
myself and Uncle Snort. To be sure we wero
not burned out nor drowned out-only starved
OUT but the melancholy part of it was, that
'nere was no insurance on anything The time
That put in at that {" Delmonicon restaurant
up at Dog Fennel, was one of the happiest and
brightest of my life, Notwithstanding Uncle
Snort sings his sarcasm at it so. Misfortunes
did not give US a surprise party or anything of
the KIND, because we were always anticipating
them. And, Furthermore we had the honor of
adding another page to science. We proved con-
clusively just how long man can starve and.
at the same time whistle, sing and play on the
fiddle


Just let him keep on poking his fun at our old





him. could tell heap" on my old partner
In misfortune if was disposed to- could tell
about his trying to bribe Pete Paulsen to fasten
his COW up in the Journal office some night.
with the supposition that she would run a horn
through your Presidential ticket, but to do so
would criminate myself for, in the event ofsuc-
cess was to send the old COW two tons of hay,
or | |
than to advise you to keep an eye on Uncle
Snort, or he'll pi VIM. II. Seward, sure.


want to say something about that ticket and
as am already in up to my knees, l guess I'll
wade across now. Understand me, will YOU.
please, that do not wish to debar you the lux
ury of prancing your Presidential race-horse all
over the woods, or stavng him up and down
the beach at Jehus speed, until he's a perfect
mass of spawn, but when it comes to entering
old Dirty Butter" on the Republican race
course; ah | that's what ails the Dog Fen
nelers. have been taking a stroll through the
political Potter's Field of late The new-made
graves to my right are all marked " The New
Departure" those to my left and a little older
are labelled " Swinging round the Circle, -
Such evidences of political mortality frightens
me-


My honest and humble opinion is that the
Republican party is running in about the right
groove now, it wants no departure nor cir
ces to swing around. As for myself, | can't
swing a circle-it makes my head swim, and as
for departureS-when feel like getting up one,
all have to do is to tie yard of fuse to my
dogs tail and then set fire to the fuse (Got
the dog on hand now, and can get the fuse close
BY | can never vote for man that gives me
the alternative, " Andrew Johnson for Presi-
dent, or Andrew Johnson for King" No, excuse
with wart on his nose.


If you have oaly taken the contract of en-
balming old Seward, why then, III do every
thing in my power to assist you Let's see.-
have got tifty-pound sack of salt, and will
have, when get through, about thirty five or
forty barrels of charcoal, and know right where
to catch a skunk, all of which agree to furnish
free of charge, (well, might have to tax you
little margin on the skunk-they are hard to
catch sometimes, you know,) and lets put him
away in shape. should think with my assist
ance, the contract could be finished in sixty
days, thereby fulfilling the prophecy of eleven
years ago; GO that the people of these blessed
United States of America would hear of some
thing bully, within sixty days"


Now fire away. | am ready-made my will
and sent it up (by the Doctor,) to be recorded
on Thursday last. JAClNTo.


p. S.-If you want to punish Uncle Snort
little, make him set this up by moonshine.


THE County Board of Examination will meet