Year: 1876


sat beside him for one wee short
hour. He lay asleep breathing as
one untroubled aud L. oh my Gold
could 1 go with not even one look from
his clear honest eyes, not one pressure
of that firm supporting hand? But
no; he and must part for his honor's
sake, the snllying link could never,
never he. My cold lips were pressed
for the last time to his lofty bro "; my
tears fell around his dear beloved face
like rain. Born of an earnest woman's
pride tho my love was, through it
my life has been accursed; my moth.
er sweet in heaven above looked down
and pitied me in that bitter agonized
hour, my full free heart, pierced by
sorrow heard the sound of her sympa-
thy. The cold night grew and l was 6
forced to wander away with the shame
bearing me down. Surely beyond
this dark eclipse God will wipe awxy
all stain and my darling and will
meet and mingle our souls In rapt-
urous alteration. Yet, oh yet, will
reward come for have said submis-
sive "Thy will be- I stumbled often
as wandered away and the thorns
pierced me sore; l longed for death
hoping it oblivion; received exist
ence, a miserable living of years, ages
they seemed to me. At thirty vainly
wearied still I called to mind these
verses:


"I long to lay this pa nful head M


And aching heart, beneath the soil;


To slumber in that d! eamless bed


From all Earth's toll.


For misery stole me at my birth


And cast me- helpless on the wild;


peishl oh my mother Earth


Take home thy chiidV


Tears have flown; tonight I am
forty-nine. The tickle thread OF life
has been spun to near half century's
length and until you came, dear lady
/ was lone isolated being listlessly
coming and going hither and thither,
a stranger to my fellow beings, left
alone among my own sex; yet have
known their every longing, their ev-
cry ungratified wish, their every suf-
fering. was selfishly wrapped in my
own grief until you sweet minister
taught me better; then, too, your
teachings have swept away my fret
fulness, have as with q breath blown
away the froth and foam the surface
scum and / see and rejoice in the roll
and ripple of firm grand life-truths
that will soor bear me into eternity.
You know lady as the dove will clasp
its wings to its sides to conceal the
sorrow preying on its heart SO 1t has
been my nature to hide from you the
prayers of my bruised life ever since /
drifted to you for these remembranceS
are too sacred for everyday attire Of
language. Tonight as duty have I
held before you these burning life jev..
els and when [ am gone remember
but do not speak lightly of them l look
forward to time when God In his the
finite mercy and goodness will receive
me, time rejoice to think, in the
near future. Life's drama Is drawing
10 close; there is but one scene more,
the deathbed. A whisper encourages
my heart that earth already begins to
faie or is it but the voice of my hope?
Will my spirit never breathe the
peaceful air of heaven, my eyes never
see the celestial glory of its King, my
lips never begin their eternal song Of
praise?


A h this Is no fancy weighed down
with leaden doubts, the long -wIshed-
for foe has come. My thoughts ex-
pand and see the battle almost won.
Oh Lord, haste the time; how these
petty earthly conflicts weary me!
Now but line divides me from the
joys to come. The near view of the
happy hone electrifies, me, and my
heart melts in thankfuluess; the ex-
pectation is so sweet; the feeling
comes to me could float ont upon tne
air, SO buoyant, so free! have Quaf-
fed the flowing spiritual fountain un-
~ Il, svv<S "A fol fnae
are but as decayed atoms that family
image the rare flowers they once were.
My teardrops are turned to beautiful
gems at my feet and sparkle in the
sunlight of him with whom my pant.
ing exuitant soul will soon be free.
Happy happy, the cords loosen, enc
short conflict begins--I conquer-glo.
ry-glory-my soul ascends!


EFT WARDS.


Santa Anita, June 1876.