Year: 1873

IN DOStoH SulS art dUe(I from sixteen
TO twenty-five; young ladies' range from
thirty to fifty-tive


AN elderly lady endeavoring to post a
letter in hydrant is a spectacle to make
an oyster weep-Grdphtc.


THE wild oranges of Florida make a
wine which gets a man so drunk that he
sleeps two days and nights before waking


IT may be worth while for scoundrels to
know, in view of the coming postal cards.
that a London man was recently sentenced
to pay heavy fine and go to prison for
two years for libeling young lady on one
of those cards.


BULLET PROOF armor is suggested for
the soldiers who are fighting the Modocs
Such armor is made in France and though
adapted to only a few of the emergencies
in moderR warfare, the Modoc campaign
is precisely one which it is adapted to.


4 SAN FRANCISCO man has applied to
General Schofeld for permission to 90 to
the lava beds and embalm the bodies of
Captain Jack and the other Modocs as
soon as they are caught and killed. 1t is
not stated whether this proposition is
made on behalf of Barnum or not.


The other day countryman asked one
of Barnum's men, Where is the num-
my" The latter replied, "He is dead"
and the inquirer passed on perfectly salts
fed, for he couldn't expect that even Bar
mum could prevent an occasional death
among his curiOSities.


SOHE time ago ''canny Scot conceiv-
ed the brilliant idea Of making a fortune
by exhibiting the Pyramids, and proceed
ed, with this view, to the land of the Pha-
raohs. But though the Khedive actually
sold him the exclusive ri ght of exhibition.
the speculation failed to pay on account
OF the scarcity of sight-seers, and the poor
man was compelled to abandon the enter
prise.


\ PHOTOGRAPHER in Portland, Maine,
employed woman to wash the floors of
his establishment. The woman seeing a
basin full of what she presumed was hot
water standing on the stove, emptied the
contents into her water-pail, to warm the
water it contained. OF course, it was a
nitrate Of silver bath, and, the first the
photographer knew, his floor was a dirty
red brown, the woman's arms much
browner, and she bowling because the
"Ould Nick was turning her into nagur."


IT turns out that the fishermen consti-
tute the healthiest class in Massachusetts
They are the finest-loOking men, the most
robust and with capacities for great en-
durance. Their diet while actively en-
gagged in their vocation, consists Of fish,
pork, potatoes, and hard bread, with fresh
meat but rarely 1t is said to be the Gus.
tom of invalids from the rural districts,
suffering from chronic indigestion or in
sipient phthisis, to make an amateur fish
ing-voyage, and often with excellent re-
suits.


CURIOUS INMATE OF A TOoTH-A re-
markable case in dentistry is mentioned
by the New Brunswick On. J y Tunes, of a
citizen of that town, who. after the eXtrac-
ton of tooth with which he had been
long tormented, but in which the only
part apparently unsound was so minute as
not to admit the insertion of a delicate
needle, discovered on cracking it with a
hammer that it was a mere shell in which
lived a nOndescript siX-legged bug, which
ran briskly about the table on being re
leased from its prison. As the gentleman
is confident that the animal could not
have made its way through the perforation
from without, he considers this clear
case OF spontaneous generation.


THE necessity of cleanliness and of
keeping the pores of the skin open, is il
Illustrated by the fact that if a coat of var
nish or other substance impervious to
moisture be applied to the exterior of the
body, death will ensue in about six hours.
The experiment was cnce tried on a child
IN Florence. On the occasion of Pope Leo
the Tenth's accession to the Papal chair,
1t was desired to have living figure repre-
sent the Golden Age, and so child was
gilded all over with varnish and gold leaf.
The child died in a few hours. If the fur
of rabbit or the skin Of a pig be covered
with a solution of india-rubber in naphtha,
the animal ceases to breathe in a few
hours.


BAD NEWS FOR BALD-HEADED MEN.-
DR.. j. NJ Toner, of Washington, a physi-
clan Of large experience and close OBJ
server of facts, says that according to his
observations nearly all persons of both
sexes who lived to the age Of eighty years
and over, retained a considerable if not a
complete suit of hair at the time Of their
deaths He comedies that there are eX-
ceptions to this rule, but insists that a
large majority Of persons living at the age
OF eighty and upward retain compare
lively good suit of hair, or are not bald.
His hypothesis is that person who re-
tains his hair past the age of sixty-tive has
a good prospect Of living to be over eighty.
The rule may be tested by any one calling
to mind the ages and condition of the hair
of persons of his acquaintance of the ages
indicated, the condition of whose hair is
known to him. The vast majority of per
sons who become bald, or lose their hair,
do so between thirty five and forty five, and
these rarely live to be over sixty five or
seventy years of age.


THOUGHTS BY A NOODLE


/ don't think goose Is a swan,


] don't think sheep is a rabbit.


But think when m thinking thereon,


That thinking's dangerous habit


For some people think they are right


And some people think they are clever


And some think that black must be white,


And some think Of nothing whatever


And some people think of themselves.


And some people think of their neighbors


And some think the gold that one delyes


l. very poor pay for ones labors.


For my part. think that thought


That thGnk while thinking and musing


That thinking i really worth naught


Because thinking, think. il confusing


WE had hoped to get along without re
sorting TO the terrible engine of destruc-
tion known as "Bogardus' Kicker" but
yesterday, when the same old chap came
in and asked for one of the two copies of
the Philadelphia Press we receive, he was
invited 10 sit down-the secret spring was
touched, and twelve kicks were admins
tered beneath him, that would have sent
an ordinary man through the roof. The
unsuspecting victim merely remarked
g \ our Hoe press seems to jar the build
ing little to-day" Then, turning on the