Year: 1876

The fable of the old man and the boy who
took the ass to market is likely to find
new moral in the effect of the awards of
medals and diplomas to exhibitors by the
Centennial Commission. 1t is, of course,
impossible to satisfy everybody in a compe-
tition for honor, and the managers of the
Exhibition no doubt knew that they could
not succeed in the attempt. But they
adopted the republican theory of doing the
greatest good to the greatest number. and
carried it out as the prudent school
master does who gives all of his
pupils the highest average on examina-
ton day. The Commissioners gave to
thousands Of exhibitors medals of equal
value, and diplomas of undiscriminated
praise. But even this artful way of dodg-
ing the disagreeable duty Of making an abb
solute choice between rivals for glory newt
ably fails to give complete satisfaction.
Those who believe their goods are the best
are not contented TO have inferior goods
placed upon the same level as their own.
Where all honors are alike no honors at all
are just rs valuable. The Centennial Com
missioners have undertaken to carry the ass
to the fair, and if he kicks and struggles,
and the market people laugh they must not
complain. We do not wish to say that any
other plan would have been more satisfac-
tory but it must bo good naturedly con-
ceded that their attempt to refute the
provsrb that "when two men ride the same
horse one of them must ride behind" is not
successful. We think that testimonials Of
any kind are, as n rule, worth less to an ex-
hibitor than the impression his goods make
upon the public. But this is not the opin-
ion of the merchant, to whom diplomas and
medals are valuable as pegs on which to
hang newspaper advertisements. The effect
of the plan is that already the Jour-
nails contain glowing announcements that
Jones, Smith, White, Brown, Green, Black
and Blue, have each obtained the very high.
est prize for pianos, and that Cobb, Robb


Hobb and Nobb, have each secured the first
medal and the most complimentary diploma
for sewing machines. Each has the supreme
honor, as every museum possesses the club
that killed Captain Cook. The result will
be that in manufacture and invention
wo shall see the "Original Jacobs"
Of Chatham street repeated on en- i'm
mense scale. First there was the ''Original
jacobs" then the Original Original Ja-
cobs," and then the Original Original
Original Jacobs, and soon to tho crack of
doom. But it is possible that they may be
all right in their claims as we'll as wrong.
The holders Of these awards for the highest
degree Of excellence are like horses which
have made equal time in a race for, sup
posinc that four horses have each made
mile IL two minutes and fourteen seconds
and that that is the fastest time on record, the
''best time" may be claimed for each horse
without fear of refutation. On this princi-
pie all bets as to the best time are invariably
decided. But exhibitors are not inclined to
look upon the subject in this mild wny.
Each wishes to be ''the only Original
Jacobs" and out Of this peaceful Exhibition
will come war. The pot will call the kettle
black, rival boilers will explode with pas
sion, pianos will thunder in discord and the
sewing machines will tear their shirts in
rage. So much for the levelling up method
of Centennial awards, which once more en-
phasizes the moral of Esop that those who
try to please all will probably please none.