Year: 1871

| lloIll CollulllOuS He himself mas voluntarily


and persistently brought about. His wife


has ceased to be companion. When he


wishes to talk, she is too tired; and when


she would be fond, he does not want to


be disturbed The children he was so


anxious to be the father of make the


house unpleasant. His wife can ensave


herself for them, but even their merri-


ment is intolerable to him. He yawns in


her face and thinks his home so stupid


that he goes elsewhere for society. 1t


does not occur to him that she needs va


riety and change much more than him


self; he believes in domestic women, but


he cannot do without some break in all


this drcary monotony. His wife is no
| longer lovely, not because she has ceased


to love, but because she is no more be-
loved


What we wish to be we must live for.


Men expect their wives to be graceful
| elegant, and attractive, without giving


them any opportunity to cultivate grace,


elegance, OF iittractivcness. They de-


velop themselves and permit their part


ners to stand still or rather decline; for


what does not advance must 90 back


ward. She who excels in the kitchen can
| hardly hope to shine in the drawing-room :;
|


restrict her influence to the census and


surrender all hold upon the finer issues of
| life.


We blunder fearfully with our domesti-
| city in America. The country seems in


capable of sustaining a golden mean in
anything; its entire tendency is to ex-


tremcs. Our wives generally are only of


two kinds-the family slave on one hand,


the frivolous woman of fashion on the


other. We are taught to believe that


mothers who do not wear their children
about their necks like millstones to weigh


and drag them down until health and


hope and ambition are crushed, are not the


mothers they ought to be. Almost every
| household is tyrannized over and made


exceedingly uncomfortable by its juvenile


members. Every apartment is tansform-


ed into q nursery. Children scream in
the library, roar in the corridors, and riot
| in the draWing-room. Guests who wor-
ship the memory of Icrod are compelled
to witness wonders of infantinc accom-
| pllShmcnt, and to have their eyes endan-
gercd by the perforating fingers of
| amateur opticians but newly weaned.
| Even the table is not sacred from the ma
| rauders in bibs and pnafores There they
| distinguish themselves by confounding
| chaos with etiquette, and relieve the
| monotony of the vexatious meal by
heroic determination to eat at full length


The mere suggestion of contining children


to the nursery is regarded here as bar
barous; and so the friends of the parents
are made the foes of the family, and


carry away from the domestic delights,
to which they have been treated, reso-


luton never to wed, so help them Malthus
Many wives are little more that upper
! servants. Hymen and Lucina mar all the
gifts Cypria and Aglaia have brought
The books wives pored over in their
maidenhood are thrown aside; the guitar


and piano are wholly neglected; and if
they have q harp they hang it on the
(weeping) willow Their French and
Italian are forgotten, and prose and pros
mess steal steadily and increasingly into
| their daily life-all because they are told
that to be domestic they must be dull,


and to be model wives they must unearn
every lesson which contributed to their


loveliness. BY striving to keep their hus-


band, they constantly make the distance


greater between him and themselves
They begin with 4 mistake and sutfocate
their highest possibilities is an unbrokcn
continuation of blunders. Men won be-
tore marriage should be retained after
marriage by the same means. Lost hearts.


when masculine, have y dangerous taciil-
ty tor being found again, and, if lost u
second time, it is useless to seek for them
within the confines of home. Wives should
fight their first battle for the freedom
to continue at least some of the aesthetic
courses which bore them to their hus-
bands favor. They should refuse to be
enslaved by routine and drudsery and
children, and should appeal to the men
they have accepted for their lords by the


means that first gave them their lovers.
Men are not so selfish nor egotistic as they
seem. If they found that their wives
earnestly desire the culture and advance
ment they seek for themselves, they
would be more careful and conscientious
about placing burdens upon the women
they have sworn to honor and to love.
There should be no period in II wo~


mans life when she is willing to surrender
the graces of person, mind, and manners


for The common round of exclusive house
hold duties She should have more than
one side to her life; should be a helpmatc,
companion, friend, mistress of her Ihus-
bands affections, years after their union,


instead of merely Il skilful cook OF compc-
tent housewife. To be all that nature
and reason demand of her, she need not
release her hold upon the martial heart
by coniining herself to the kitchen, the


laundry, and the nursery. She may be Il
devoted wife and mother without forget
ting that she was Il woman before She


was either; ever aiming to keep alive in


her husbands breast the spirit Of gallant


ry and tenderness on which masculine at-
fection almost depends. Her husband is


constantly advancing if not by regular
culture, at least by daily contact with the


outer world; and it should be her cease
less study to keep abreast of his improve
I,ment Let her by no means forget her
coquettish arts, or lay aside the engaging
ways which did so much to ensnare his
heart. She must have something to en-
tertain him with on his return home be-
sides the dreary iterations of troubles
| with servants and blunders with cookery
books. A rose in her hair and II verse of


poetry on her lips have more power to
| hold him than the most eloquent story Of


Johnny's badness or the baby's Group.
1t is not her fault that she walks on so
low domestic plane She would glad


ly mount to a his CHER if her husband would
give her his helping hand, or even invite


her to the upper stair Men are unkind
and unsympathetc more from want of
| thought than from want of feeling They


unconsciously put obstacles in the way OF
feminine advancement, and seldom pause


to observe how the obstacles are over


come, or reflect that their joint assistance


is required. Their minds should be sti-,-


red, their memories aroused by the gentle
| agencies women know so we'll how to eX-


ercise. Then they will see clearly enough


how easy it is for Il positive nature to


drift into negative tyranny. From deli


cate suggestions and by the charmingly


incomplete syllogisms of sentiment they


will arrest their temperamental tenden-
cies, and be transformed into lovers


again before they are well aware how the


delightful change has been wrought.


Foreigners often inquire what becomes


of all the fascinating girls for which


America is so renowned. The question


is easily answered. They die in early


wedlock, which so frequently proves the


grave of love. The connubial state as
mismanaoed by us generates an asphyXia