Year: 1876




The laws do not reach all a wo-
mans Affections. If her husband
torgets his gallantry, and attempts to
use arguments more torcible than
elegant, the law steps in to take the
hickory stick out of his grasp; if a
thief helps himself to her purse,
without the previous ceremony of
asking her permission, the law collars
him and returns the distracted goods.
The legal code is longer than we can
think of, without pain over our fore
head-but where is the law made and
provided to protect miserable female
against borrowing?


Missus wants to know if you
won't lend her your umbrella this
morning--ours are all broken, and
she's got to go out?"


Our umbrella! and the rain coming
down at the rate of fifteen knots an
hour! does our neighbor suppose we
are waterproof ourself, like duck,
or y lrd of patent oil-cloth? How
are we to get down town. in case Of
necessity, we would like to know?
However, anything for peace. Take
the umbrella-take your Indian-rub-
Der boots-take your felt skirt, even,
if less won't content the borrower
only keep away for the rest of the
day.


Vain hope.


"Would we have any objection to
lend our little iarket pattern? Mrs.
Trim wouldn't ask for it, only little
Tommy got hold of hers last week,
and tore it up for kite-tail, and she
couldn't find the cloth model either?"
No, certainly, take it along! If ever
the destructable element took human
shape, Tommy Trim is that embody-
ment, and if he came across the orig
inal document of the Declaration of
Independence itself, he would pounce
upon it for the kite, which has more
tails than any Pasha in history. We
never expected to see the pattern
again, but what then? 1t wouldn't
do for Mrs. Trim to think rs disoblig-
ing.


People call this a free country, yet
for the life of us dare we send back
word that we haven't read the desired
article ourselvcs-and there goes our
nice little half hour of reading before
dinner. The neighbors have borrow
ed pretty much all our books, except
the Bible and the dictionary-nobody
seems to want these last volumes.


"Would we send over our pepper
mint bottle to Mrs. Slack's: Jacob
had the toothache, and as Mrs. Slack
had 4 lot Of unexpected company, she
would take it very kind If we would
lend her cup of molasses and a
pound or two of butter"


that's right! drained our slender
stock of molasses to the dregs. Al
ways happens so-just as sure as we
calculate the cupboard shelves, to a
nicely, and don't 90 to the grocer's,
that very day our neighbors want the
very identical article that is nearest
"out!" Company, indeed. we expect
company to dinner-our husband is
coming up on that special errand,
and if he don't have apple dumplings
and molasses, he thinks the world is
coming to an end. But no matter
Mrs. Slack, help yourself, and if your
half wi,ted Bridget stirs the oil of
peppermint into the soft gingerbread,
and sets Jacobs tooth Jumping with
molasses, she will win our everlast-
ing gratitude!


Mrs. Stephens wants to borrow our
new bonnet five minutes, lust for
her cousin from the country to look
at" and she sent it back with great
greasy finger-mark on the spotless
white velvet! Now, if there is a
weak spot about us, it is that bonnet,
and


Well, our feminine friends can
guess what we said, in the first trans
ports of our Indignation; it might
not look so well in print!
, We thought tina bonnet was the
last drop in our cup, but it wasn't
the last drop was a neat, little, three
cornercd note, sealed with a dove
and olive leaf, from the old maid
across the way. "Miss jenkins wants
to 90 to the lecture tonight, and she
has no one to accompany her; do we
suppose that our husband would just
as Het as not yoy


| Lending our husband! Only think
of 1t! After this we shall not be as
tonished at anything, even If the
sewing machine and the tamilv-baby
are sent for!


We have the pleasure of hearing,
during the next few days. that Mrs.
Smith thought our umbrella was ol-
most too shabby to carry, and that
our new bonnet "was not so very nice
after all ~


These are the pleasures of lending.