Year: 1873

Littis story.


The annual ceremony Of taking up,


whipping and putting down carpets is


almost upon us. II is one Of the ills


which flesh is heir to, and can not be


avoided. You go home some pleasant


spring day, at peace with the world, and


find the baby with a clean face and get
your favorite pudding for dinner Then
your wife tells you how much younger
you are looking, and says she really


hopes she can turn that walking dress
she wore last fall, and save the expense
Of new suit, and then she asks if you
can't just help about taking up the car
pet. II you are fool, and you gener-
ally ara by that time, you tell her Of
course you can, just as well as not. Then
she gets a saucer for tacks, and stands
and holds it, and then you get the claw
and 60 down on your knees, and begin
to help her. You feel quite economical
about the first three tacks and take them
out carefully and put them in the saucer.
Your wife is good about holding the sau-
Ger, and beguiles you with an interesting
storT about how your neigbbor's little
boy is not expected to live until morn
ing. Then you come to the tack with
crooked head, and you get the claw under
il and the head comes of, and the car
pet comes off, and as it won't do to leave
the tack in tho floor, because it will tear
the carpet when it is put down again,
YOU 60 to work and skin your knuckles,
and get silver under your thumb nail,
and tell your wife to shut up about that
everlasting boy, and make up your mind
that il does not make any difference
about that tack, and 50 you begin on the
corner where the carpet is doubled two
or three times, and has been nailed down
with a shingle naik


You don't care a continental about
saving the nail, because you find that it
is not good time for the practice of
economy; but you do feel little hurt
when both claws break off from the claw,
and the nail does not bulge peg. Then
your manhood asserts itself, and you
raise in your might and throw the carpet
claw at the dog, and get hold of the car
pet with both hands, and the air is full |
Of dust and flying tacks, and there is a
fringe of carpet yarn all along the mop
board, and the baby cries, and the eat
goes anywhre, anywhere out of the world,
and your wife says you ought to be
ashamed of Yourself to talk so-but that
carpet comes up. Then you lift one side
Of the stove, and your wife tries to get
the carpet from under it; so you try a
new hold, and just after your back
breaks the carpet is clear You are not
through yet. Your wife don't tell you
any more little stories, but gets your old
coat and hangs it on you, and opens the
back door and shows you out, and init
mates that the carpet needs whipping.
When you hang the tormenting thing
across the clothes line the wrong way, |
and get il righted and have it slide off in
the mud, and hang it up again, and get
half pint Of dust and three broken
tacks snapped out of the northwest cor
ner into your mouth by the wind. you
make some observations which you neg
lected to mention while in the house.
The y@= hunt up a stick and go for
the carpet.


The first blow hides the sun and all
the fair face of nature behind a cloud Of
dust. and right in the center of that
cloud with the wind square in your face,
no matter how you stand. you WELD that
cudgel until both hands are blistered.
and the milk Of human kindness curdles
in your bosom. You can whip the car
pet longer or shorter period, according
to the size Of your mad, it don't make
any difference to the carpet, it is just as
dusty and fuzzy and disagreeable after
you have whipped it two hours as it was
when YOU commenced. Then you bun
die it up, with one corner dragging. Al d
tumble il into the house, and have more
trouble with the stove, and fail to find
any way Of using the carpet strecher
while you stand upon the carpet. and
fail to And any place to stand oil the
carpet, and then you get on your knees
again, while your wife holds the saucer,
and with blind confidence hands you
broken lacks. crooked tacks, tacks with
ns points, taeks with no heads, tacks ]
with no feathers, tacks with the biggest
snds at the points. Finally the carpet
) down, and the baby comes back, the
;atcomes back. the dog comes back. ard
lour wife smiles sweetly, and says she is ,
ylad that job is off her mind As il IS
90 late to do anything else, you sit by
he Ere and smoke, with the inner conf
lenee that you are the meanest man in
America.


The next day yon hear your wife tell /
! friend that she Is SO tired, that she !


Q