smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1872




AN AWARD CASE OF MISTAKEN
IDENTITY. - The Baltimore American
vouches for the following A case that
illustrates the liability of persons to
make the gravest mistakes in the iden-
tifcation of those with whom previously
they have come in contact occurred in
this city a few days since, but has been
kept secret in the hope of capturing a
sharper who, by false pretenses, defraud
ed Pratt street merchant out of BOG
pounds of butter worth SS1. The rogue
got away with his booty, and the mer-
chant, in hunting for him, came upon a
gentleman whom he at once identified
He recognized the size, manner and gen
eral appearance. His dress was exactly
the same. and so also was the peculiar
expression of the face, and the style and
color of the hair and the beard. The
suspected individual was arrested, and
proved to be one of our most popular
esteemed and venerable clergymen. He
took it coolly, but his friends we're indig
nant that he should be suspected of such
rascallity as that alleged; but neither
the clergyman's GOODNESS nor the heat Of
his friends changed the opinion of the
merchant. He was still confident thai
/ w


case came to trial it was shown by tbs
testimony of numerous witnesses that a
the very time when the rogue was de
frauding the merchant of the butter, th,
suspected individual was conducting ser
vices in meeting in his church. o
course the clergyman was at once acquit
ed, but it is still an open question wis
4 got the butter.
Year: 1872

An absent-minded gentleman, writing
letter at the breakfast table, dipped
his pen in his coffee aud continued his
letter. Noticing his mistake, be put a
lump of sugar in the ink, and then
finding his second blunder, poured the
contents of the ink-stand into the coffee
pot to set it right.
Year: 1872

70 BUILD CHIMNEY THAT WILL
NOT SnoKs.-The Scientific American
gives the following hints TO those who
would "build chimney which will not
smoke" The chief point is TO make
the throat not loss than four inches
broad and twelve long then the chin
uey should be abruptly enlarged to
double the siEe, aad so continued for
ono foot or more; then il may bs grad
ually tapered of as desired. But the
inside of the chimney, throughout the
whole length to the top, should be
plastsred very smooth with good NOR.
tar, which would harden with age. The
area OF chimney should be at least
half square foot, aud no Aues less
than sixty square inches. The best
shape for = chimney is circular, or
many sided, as giving less friction
(brick is the best material, as it is a
non. conductor and the higher above
the roof the better.
Year: 1872

A grocer being solicited to contribute
to the building ofa new church prompt
ly subscribed his name to the paper in
the following eccentric manner: jobs
Joaes (the only place in town where
you can get i pounds good sugar for a
dollarl Is cents.
Year: 1872

CHICAGO, January 13.-A bill has pass
ed both Houses of the Illinois Legislature
which makes q radical change in the
regulating of the sale Of liquor in the
State. II enacts that no Intoxicating
liquor shall hereafter be sold in Illinois
without license, and no license shall issue
unless the party applying therefor shall
give boud In the penalty Of $4,000 with
two freehold snrcties, conditioned that
they shall pay all damages TO any person,
in person or property, by reason Of selling
liquor under said license penalty, to'bc
received In the name of the State for the
use of any person injured by liquor sold
by such licensed persons. t .r
Year: 1872

Do you knew you have asked for the .sostlics


thing


Ever made by the baud above;
A woman's heart and a woman's life
And woman's wonderful love!
Do you know you have asked for this priceless


thing


As child might ask for a toyg
Demanding what others had died to win,
With the reckless dash of boy?
You have written my lesson Of duty out
Man-like have you queeu0ncd me;
Now stand at the bar of my woman's soul,
Until shalt question thee. ri
You require your mutton shall always be hot
Your seeks and your shirts be whole;
/ require your heart TO be true as God's stars,
And pure as His heaven your soul.
You require a cook for your mutton and beef
l require far greater thing;
A sear stress you want for socks and for SHIFTS,
look for man and king
A king for the beautiful realm called home,
And n man that the Maker Got
Shall look upon as He did upon the frst
And say, " il is very geod.
am fair and young but the rosewill fade
From my soft young cheek some day.
VIII you love me then, mid the falling leaves
As you did mid the blooms of May?
Is your heart an ocean so strong and deep
may launch my all on its tide2
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she becomes u bride.
require all things that are grand and true
All things that a man should bei
If you would give this ALL l would stake my


life r
TO be all you demand of me.
If you cannot be this "a laundress and cook
You can hire, and little TO pay;
But a woman's heart and n woman's life
Are not to G won in that way.
Year: 1872

powers incapable Of feeling either sym
pathy or interest in me. $3.50 =.


But wisdom was not born with this
generation. 1t is impossible that the
millions OF praying men and women who
have united the heavens and the earth
for four thousand years we're all wrong.
Have /, too, been mistaken all the years
of my life2 Was it some compensating
law Of nature that comforted me in all
my sorrows and bereavements, and
strengthened me in all my trials2 Were
the secret intelligences Of the night
season and the consultations of my closet
all deception2 Perish the thought |
know that God is very near to all that
call upon him. / believe that no event
Of life is too small for his ordering. And
my trust is the trust of the tens Of thou
sands within the courts of the Church
Militant, and the triumphant assurance
of the " multitude that no man can mum.
ber" in the courts OF heaven; and /
firmly believe that of all the things good
Cor humanity, none is so good as for it
frequently and faithfully to draw near
in prayer to its Maker and its God.
Year: 1872

The saloon building offered for sale, in another column of this paper is situate in the best busi- ness locality in this town, notwithstanding which the owner will dispose of it upon very reasonable terms. uoOtt
Year: 1872

The weather, so far this winter, las tcen de. lighful, and were it not that the Territory needs a wcltiug we should be satisfied with exactly sim liar weather, for long time to come.
Year: 1872

AppZe lSnow.-Pare and core twelve
apples, steam until tender, set the ap-
plies aside to cool, then pour over them
a whip made of the whites of three
eggs beaten to a stiff froth. Serve with
sugar and cream favored with extract
vanilla.


Hyacinths all Winter.-The hyacinth
is one of the most beautiful and fragrant
of the bulbous flowers, and par tcularly
desirable for house culture. Even half
a-dozen grown in pots and Towering
during the winter, will afford more
pleasure to the "loved ones at home''
than the same amount of money spent
in any other way. With how much
pleasurable anxiety they watch the
shooting forth of the bright leaves, the
rising of the stately column; while the
opening of the first bud makes a joyful
Thanksgiving of the most dreary win.
ter's day. A very small pot will answer
for the hyacinth. Some prefer to plant
three or four in a large pot, and this
will make a very pretty ornament.
Cover only the lower half of the bulbs
with soil, press them down until they
are nearly covered, then water until the
soil is moistened thoroughly, and set
the pots in a cool, dark cellar. The
roots will there form, with but little
growth of top. Here they may remain
for several weeks, and pot or two at a
time can be taken into warm, light
room, for Towering, week or ten days
apart, and succession of flowers OBJ
tanned during most of the winter.
Year: 1872

SOME young men of Fort Wayne, Ind,
went into restaurant and dined to the
amount of several dollars. One young
man proposed to pay the bill, when
another stopped him and he proposed
to pay. The game was played by all,
when it was proposed to blindtold the
waiter, and the one he caught was to
pay the bill. While the waiter was
cropping around the room the dead-beats
made good their escape.
Year: 1872

In his own room, using the chairs to repre-
sent Ophelia, IIoratio and the rest lie
knew IL was a bold venture, but he hadn't
the slightest fear he said.


Ghost Of Shakespeare, what a Hamlet II
wasi could not blame the gallery fol- in-
sisting upon regarding the entertainment
throughout as light comedy. The tragedy
lay too deep for their ken.


Another Booth-bedeviled youth used TO
haunt in melancholy attitudes the corri-
dors Of the Winter Garden while his illus
trious double was playing Hamlet there.
After the tragedian cut his hair, and devel-
oped into prosperous and cheerful faced
manager, the fellow must have looked
more like Booth than Booth did himself


Perhaps you have reason to remember
that amiable young man, net unknown in
this neighberhood, who was distracted
from useful and honorable career, by an
unfortunate resemblance to the Chandos
portrait All me there was an excellent
let me say tailor ruined to make villain
Gus poet. The last time 1 saw him was at
the unvailng of Wards wonderful statue
at the Central Park. His hat was pushed
back from his forehead, and (after he had
run his fingers casually through his hair
once or twice. the likeness 10 that noble
bronze head was really remarkable. But
had great pity for the young lady who
was sitting by him, and to whom they say
he is engaged.


A frightful example of the evil that may
be wrought by personal resemblance, such
| n xya hqpn ia frr oh hoI
that ancient wandering mountebank whose
indubitable likeness to most of the extant
portraits OF the Father of his Country leads
the beholder to acknowledge certain fit
ness in his anachronistc attire,-knee-
breechcs, cooked hat, canary-coored waist
coat, and all, and to look with charity up
on the assumption of the easily-suggestcd
| title-'Spirit of 49, But il is when the
hoary- headed rogue adds to this patriotic
cognomen that of the "Great Matrimonial
Promoter" vends cheap photographs at ex-
cellent profits, and with his little electrical
apparatus pretends to work miracles upon
the human system, adding the beguilement
of "lree grab in the bag" that you dis
cover the Spirit Of II, and wonder how
many of the old sinners lies are to be laid
at the door of his immaculate prototype.


1t is fortunate that there are some who
can master the illusions of resemblance.
There is my friend Brown, the well known
publisher; notwithstanding he is constant
ly bowed to on Droadways and in the Park,
under the supposition that it is none other
than certain ilustrious statesman who
shall be nameless, he steadiastly declines
to consider himself great man, and has
gone no farther into politics than TO allow
his name 10 be used in a respectable list of
forty vice presidents at Il late political dem
on slration.' An obscure Shakespeare of
whom we wot, has never permitted him
self SO n.uch as a sonnet, and to-day is
making excellent cheese in Western
State; and village Booth, OF the genuine
| type, had the manlness to spoil the like
ness by raising moustache and entering
upon the scientific cultivation OF vegeta-
bles and NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. for Au-
| must
Year: 1872

Illinois will elect this year nineteen
members of Congress, gain of five over
her delegation in the last Congress. This
is the largest gain made by any one State
in the Union, and shows what power Illi-
nois is to be in the councils of the nation.
In the last Congress the Illinois delegation
of fourteen members stood eight Republi-
cans, six Democrats.


The busy bee will have to be buster
than ever, for a Louisianian has invented
a method of extracting bee honey from tho
comb by means of a centrifugal process,
which accomplishes its work without break
ing the comb farther than uncapplng the
cells. The comb is then replaced in slid
ing compartments fitted to the hive, and
the bees at once commence to refill the cells,
thus saving the labor of constructing twen-
ty pounds of comb, bee bread and wax, in
order to preserve one pound of honey.
Year: 1872

| Editing newspaper is very pleasant
! business.
! If it contains too much political mat
ter, the people don't believe it.


If the type is too large, it don't contain
enough reading matter.
# the type is too small people won't
read it.
five publisn telegraph reports, people
say they are lies.
If We omit them, they say we have no
enterprise or suppress them for political
effects.
If we have few jokes, people say we
are rattlehead.
If we omit them, they say we are an
old fossil.


If we publish original matter, they
damn us for not giving selections.


If we publish selections, men say we
are lazy for not writing more and giving
them what they have not read i'll some
other paper.


If we give a man complimentary
notice, we are censured for being partial.


If we do not, all hands say we are a
greedy hog.


If we insert an article that pleases the
ladies, men become jealous.


II we do not cater to their wishes, the
paper is not fit to have in the house.


II we attend church, they say it is only
for effect.


If we don't they denounce us deceitful
and desperately wicked.


If we remain III the office and attend
to business, folks say we are too proud to
mingle with our fellows.


If we go out, they say we never attend
to business,


If we publish poetry, we affect senti-
mentalism. If we do not, We have no
literary polish or taste.


If the mail does not deliver our papers
promptly, they say We do not publish
ION time.' If it. does, they are afraid we
are getting ahead of the time.


If we do not pay all bills promptly,
folks say We are not to be trusted.


FIVE do pay promptly, they say we
stole the money.
Year: 1872

n Magistrates blanks for sale, and other
job work done on short notice, at this Office,
cheaper and more neatly gotten up than in any
other Office in the Parish. Call and examine
specimens and prices and sec if this is an empty
boast. We guarantee good workmanship at
fair prices; Indifferent or cheap e., work not
solicited nor bids made in competition for inte-
rior printing.
Year: 1872

The Senate bill to provide Federal
inspectors at all elections for members OF
Congress for every polling precinct in
the country was agreed to without ma
terial modification on the 2lsb inst, by
the House Committee on the Judiciary.
Il will probably be- pushed through the
House by party vote.
Year: 1872

| The following paragraph appeared in the
! Opelousas Journal Of May 18th:


The Courie1's growlings about the Journals
having the public printing have been so contin-


uous and so monotonous, that. like the ticking
of clock, they fail to attract public attention
! If it were not q notorious fact here, that the
Courier had made efforts to get this same public


printing, even before the Journal got it, it might


delude some fool into believing that it's indgna-


tion at the Journal is not caused by its own dis
! appointment. We did not make the printing
law, and we are sorry for the Courier but if
the Courier had succeeded in getting he printing.
instead of the journal, we would have been
still more sorry. So, We simply took the choice
of evils. The Courier should look at the thing
| In reasonable light.


For cool, unblushing impudence, the above
statement is entitled to the palm, and is an
unmistakable evidence that Warmoth's "official
journal for the Parish of st. Landry has very
poor cause to defend when it has to resort to
| SANDER in attempting to Justify its course.
AS we have never sought to obtain the con-


tract for doing any of the official printing under
the provisions of the infamous Printing Bill
either by direct or indirect mcans,-but have,
on the contrary, invariably regarded that law
rs an odions Infringement upon the peoples
rights, and always denounced it as such,-both
publicly and priyately,-we hardly think the


Journals statement will benefit it much; but as
it has been publicly made,-at last-,we hereby
brand it a malicious SANDER, and will con-


tinue to do till the Journal proves the contra
ry. We want no quibblng or dodging the eues-
tion, but plain unvarnished facts.


We want the people of So. Landry to know


exactly our position in "this fight" and when


the rule of venality, bribery and corruption shall
have run its course, as it certainly will sooner
or later, and honesty once more take its place


in our public affairs, then we want the public


from whom We expect an honest support, to
remember that we have stood firm through these
trying times with, and for the people, while
others have sold out to our opprossors and been


made thereby accompliees in the work of ruin
and degradation into which our State has been


plunged for the last four years; and we wish it
we'll understood that our reputation. proven


through several years of deprivation, by iasc ~


of the patronage even of our most intimate


friends, shall not be impaired By slander, from


whatever source it may emanate. We therefore


call upon the J5hrnal to prove its statement.
Year: 1872

SURE CURE FOR NEURALGIA.-The Nor
walk Gazette says; ga friend of ours who
suffered horrible torture from neuralgia, hear
ing of noted physician in Germany who in
vaIiably cured that disease, crossed the ocean mn
was permanently cured after short sojourn,
and the doctor gave him the simple remedy
used, which was nothing but poultice and
tea made from our common field thistle.
The leaves are macerated and used on the
parts afflicted as a poultice, while small
quantity of the leaves are boiled down in
proportion Of quart to pint, and small
wine glass Of the decoction drank before each
meal. Our friend says he has never known


it to fail Of giving relief, while in almost
every case it has effected cure. 1t is GER
tainlv worth trial.
Year: 1872

Weary of watching the hours in their fight;
Weary of wishing and waiting for light;


Longing for rest in the cold, silent tomb;
Wishing the angels would summon me home,
Over the river so deep and so wide


Oh! where shall rest beyond the dark tide?
All of life's sunshine forever is gone;
All the bright hopes that have beckoned me on
Were long ago wrecked on life's desoate strand
And my soul turns back to its fatherland,
With only this longing earnest request
l M SO weary of earth-life-oh! let me rest,
Year: 1872

And is it true what am told,
That you and are getting old;
And if it's true what people say,
The hair once black is turned to gray?
Useless to say you are aware


That my head is already bare,
And was told the other day
That yours was turned to silver gray.
Some have no brains to shake hair,
Nor change the color, declare;
And though their hair is black as SCOT,
They'd not enough to shake root.
Apart from all we hear or see.
We're older than we used to be,
And time is swiftly passing by,
1t will not wait for you or 1.
And yet you live single life,
And without comfort, JOY or wife;
If you intend, think it's time
To marry, while you're in your prime.
I'm glad you are inclined to wed,


Twill keep you from your neighbor's bed;
It's time that your wild oats were sown,
And have wife to call your own.
did not intend to write in rhyme,
But thought would indulge this time,
To ask who is to be the bride
In whom you take such manly pride.
And when you write you'll please to tell
Who is this charming lovely belle;
Is she handsome, straight and tall
For we are anxious to know all.
Don't let false pride or modest shame
Induce to withhold from us her name.
You will pardon if we intrude,
We've no intention to be rude.
And when we know your better half
We shall feel good, twill make us laugh
To know our friend, whom we esteem,
Is harnessed in double team.
And let us know the wedding day,
That we may drink your health and say
Good luck to John and Madame,
And lots of children born to them.
Most happy sight twill be to see
Your little children on your knee;
You need not care what people say,
Whether your hair is black or gray.
Year: 1872

MATHEMATICAL ABsURDITY.-An Eastern
paper has had 1900 answers to its 81 900
prize puzzle, requiring to know how long it
will take locomotive to run ope hundred
miles, provided it goes fifty miles the first
hour, twenty-five the next, twelve and half
the next, and so on. Of course the offer
was entirely safe, as the problem involves
an infinite progression, forever leaving re-
mander to be divided; or, as one Of the
mathematicians puts it, five have the start
ling proposition that a body may move to-
ward stationary point, always keeping in
motion, yet never reach it." Yet most Of
the replies purported to give the exact time
in which the locomotive would reach the end
Of its journey.
Year: 1872

A VERY old man once went to the King of
Sparta and lamented over the degeneracy of
the times. The King replied "What you
say is undoubtedly true, for ! remember
that, when was a boy, heard my father
say that when he was boy he heard my
grandfather say the same thing"
Year: 1872

the eve sOf the sailing of his wife and
step-daughters for Europe, by way of
Panama, and coolly advised him to
think no more of persons who, having


been once deceived and now no more
than fairly compensated therefor by
him, preferred future life and associa-
tions in their former English home to
longer connection with one whom
they could esteem only ut that dis
tance. The desertion came upon the
man like a thunderbolt in the midst
OF his new prosperity, and fairly struck
him to the earth. At this time he was
found by an old Wall street associate.
drawn TO the P;lcific coast by the min
ing stock fever, and to him he said,
after relating his misery, 81 have no
heart left for anything more in this
world" The friend urged him to
Overlive his great misfortune to be
man, and save himself for something
better than the heartIess revenge of a
female robber; but his only answer
was, 6 tell you have no heart left
for any thing more.' Within a month
he had scattered his $4,000 to the
winds, lost all his valuable mining
stock in reckless gambling, and was
beggar. His New York friend and
other well-wishers would have helped
him thereafter, but, without q werd
of warning or farewell to them, he
disappeared abruptly from Virginia
City, and was supposed to have died
subsequently in vagrancy at a place
called Unionville. Death, however,
it appears, was not for him, and, as
described above, his old associate of
Wall street days was to see him once
more, in the grizzly bearded, footsore,
hungry old wayf;srer begging meal
i'll White Pine. Concluding his REM
iniscenees in the restaurant, that
friend explained that it would have
been utterly useless for him to have
undertaken any further office for the
wanderer than the volunteered paw
ment for his meal "A complete wreck
i'll body and mind. No heart left for
anything. fused to know him i'm Wall
street, New York, years ago."
Year: 1872

sending him to the United States Sen
ate but it is very probable that his
candidacy would be the signal for a
grand rally to the McEnery ticket
throughout the State and consequent
division of the conservative strength
in many of the parishes. This will be
the grave question to be decided by
the approaching convention. If wisely
disposed of, the Liberal party will
sweep the State like o whirlwind, car
rying everything before it. Otherwise
the result will be a division of the
Conservative vote and the probable
triumph of the ultra Radical party
and four years more of corruption and
misrnle.


The formation of the balance of the
ticket will not be difficult. 1t is un-
dersto0d that Mr.. Pinehback will de-
cline any nomination for State office,
and will be satisfied with the candi-
dacy for Congress, State at large, which
will no doubt be eheerfully conceded
to him.


We look forward to the action of
the August convention with much So
licitude, and hope that the delegations
will be composed of calm and thought
fIIl men who will solve the only prob
lem which remains to give a triumph
ant victory to the Liberal party.