Year: 1875

indeed in strange contrast to the slnniness which
has been the rule until now In this climatic change
Isaac Sherman thinks we have the contraction
which he has been foreeling. For cold is contrac-
ton sunshine expansion, he says and the signs OF
the times are visible on AL sides. In All aquarium
Yesterday mud-turte drew his head into bis shell,
when Mr. Sherman poked him with . cssss " W ise
fellow said my friend 90 he sees the nssessity OF
CONTRACTING" The waiter this morning brought the
Great Contractor beefsteak, about as large as
lead pencil and rather thinner than a waferit was
Isn't this little too thin !! he asked, III eApostu-
lating tones. But when sclpio Africanus explained
that this was but the beginning Of healthy and
inevitable contraction, and that the day was rapidly
dawning when that beefsteak, now scorned for its
size. would seem comparatively big az dinner
platter NV friend seemed satisfied. Not 80 the
waiter however, when the Contractionist OF the
Period handed him ten-cent piece instead oi
quarter and after this practical illustration of his
hobby mounted it and rode 10 Washington and
back. / may be wrong about it. but fancied That
Scipio looked black when We left him.


The boys of the dning-ro room do not like eontrac-
ton; they can see no necessity for it and no fun IN
il, either. Just much money in the world now as
ever all very well for Massa Sherman to talk bout
ragmoney. but it buys dry goods pretty good; mems
stomachs do not contract at all takes just as m'ieh
TO fill 'em ever they urge In the face of all these
facts their perqusites are cut down; they still have
to feed the many, but seldom get feed themselves in
return, and they won't stand it much longer, they
say


After faithfully trying it on for week or two,
am free to confess that contraction IN the matter OF
timing the dinng-roon boys does MT work well.
The result of such an experiment is long while TO
wait and nothing to eat. conrlyed rather neat
way of thanking the difficulty, securing, as one
might say, the consideration bestowed upon cheer
ful giver without bringing upon myself the impover-
shment consequent really giving, by taking
one Of the new tfty-cent pieces oetentatlousy from
my pocket and putting it conspicuously under An
inverted tumbler. Magniiied by the convex bottom
of the glass it looked larger than dollar Dinner
came as by magic; fish followed upon soup with tho
celebrity of ind gestlon after cucumbers, and at the
fshs tail came long and glorious procession of
roast meats entrees vegetables, and several kinds OF
dessert-whipped creams and the like. If every one
had his dessert, as Shakespeare says, few creams
would 'scape whppingD Well, there never was bet
ter service than got for a while. Then, when din
ner was done, did the waiter who brought it, by
quietly ta.l.ng.the National currency from under
the ambler and returning it TO my pocket, counsel
ing William. as arose from the table not to SINK
any money which Others might give him in French
pools. But YOU can't play spot ball Of that kind
more than a certain number of times. They come to
know you after while and then il would he thought
that your table had the smallpox, by the way the
bows in black avoid it, So | had 10 return finally
TO the old-time plan and pay honestly and squareiy
for all service rendered.


Why should one not :. What is the nse Of standing
on a point Of principle aud going hungry in the
midst Of plenty Better follow the custom Of the
country and do as Others do. The expenditure iTf-
yolved il small the inconvenience entaied by an
avoidance OF ii l. great. Perhaps it IS wrong to
bribe a waiter to bring you that for which you pay
the landlord. But take another view of it; place
the transact on on different basis You never re-
fuse yourself the pleasure Of treating" friend De-
cause it costs you something. just consider Amos
William or any one OF the boys your friend, and
treat him accordingly. Instead of focling quar-
ter5 away in drinks for those who need them not
place them where they win do the most good TO
Yourself as well as 10 others "They also serve who
stand and wait let the walters have little loose
change once in while. Here is the cham
bermaid. too who assiduously hides your
slippers where you can't lind them; turns your
nigilt-shirt wrong side out most carefully before
putt ~ il away: fills the matclsafe with Oncc-used
matches piles the papers, which you have care
fully separated, into one proniscuous heap fOrgets
to till your pitcher; dissipates mildly upon your
hair Oil-reiuse not TO make this ehanberlad
happy occasionally by slight remembrance.
greenback will be green in her memory forever
Avail yourself not of the old Injunction Be just
and fee her not but pay over your money and look
pleasant. So shall your days be long in the hotel,
and so shall not your nghts be seepless. For the
chambermaid can smuggle broken crockery into the
mattress II she choose. and the sheets can be made
TO brstle with hair-pins as by accident.


But il is dreadful weather for garden party, and
think a postponement OF it is inevitable.


JOHN PAUL.