smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1870

Not many days ago there was a rather
loud woman down here, says the Cape
May FaUe. rich and vulgar. suooping
around with her daughter and putting on
more airs than you could grind out of hand
organ! One man, who was disgusted at
the aristocratic pretensions of the couple,
thought he would have little fun at their
expense. So one day he pointed out good
looking fellow who wa. passing the hotel,
and mentioned to the woman, in a sort of
careless. off hand way, that the good looking
fellow wa. lord, who had just arrived in
the country, and was stopping for awhile at
Cape May. This woman, you understand,
wanted an introduction, so that she could
set her daughter at work to rope in thi.
scion of noble house. The stranger was
presented the next evening in the parlor,
and this designing being of a mamma began
to gush right over him. She kept on exclaim-
ing how much she had always admired the
English nobility, and how much she longed
to see them in their own beautiful homes
and then she asked this man if he did no.
sometimes long for his island home, and
hate the society of the vulgar Americans,
and sigh for his high born companionsl At
last the man turned around and said she
must have made mistake he didn't care
red cent for aristocracy he had no island
home. for he came from Germany; and he
had no high born companions. unless some
OF his friends were born in a garret. So
this woman rose right up and pranced out
to the fellow who introduced her to the aris-
tocrat, and she says:


See here | thought you said that man
was lord?''


SO he is,'' was the reply; 'he is the
land lord of the Dutch hotel round the cor
ner there Nice man, isn't he -


Perhaps that woman won't souse that
man under, and hold him there, the next
time she catches him bathing in the surf
1t wouldn't surprise u. to learn at any time
that he had been jammed full of red hot
hair pins by a savage female. who crowned
her work by executing Kickapoo war
dance on his lnanimate remains.
Year: 1870

Word was sent to the City Marshal Of
Augusta. Me-. that a fellow was selling
locks" from wagon in Market Square.
He went to arrest him and conf.cate his
stock, and found himself the victim of ar
atrocious pun. The man was peddling
horse whips.
Year: 1870

Mother, where is the man going to sleep?''
asked girl of fifteen of her mother, who
had just offered a Traveller nights rest in
their out of the way hut. I'll have to put
him in with you and Jack and Kate and Sue
and Mary, | suppose, and if it s too crowd
ed one of you must turn in with me and dad
and Dick and Joe and Jo1othan and the
twins
Year: 1870

A countryman in Detroit factory bet the
engineer dollar that be could seize the fly
wheel and hold ii. He seized it, and va.
picked up on pile of bricks outside the
building, with window sash for necktie.
Year: 1870

In a recent description of Albany the
writer says: Albany is a city of ten thou,
sand houses, and thirty thousand people
most of them with their gable ends to the
street" Can't those people be turned
around
Year: 1870

''Ah, my dear fellow" said an old man
once to friend, 81 am quite weak and
broken down with age. | used to walk
entirely around the park every day; but
now can only walk halfway round and
back again. "
Year: 1870

1t Is three ye ars tonight since Tom ran
away, said TO JacE as We sat one sum
mer evening in the twilight.


Yes, Molly, three years tonight; and
In al rhi. time l have hot heard father ask
solitary word about him. I'm afraid be
banished him from his heart when he took
him 30 quickly at his word, poor fellow =


And he has never yet sent US even q
line to tell US of his whereabout. or his vel
fare. think be went to the war, Jack,
and perhaps ere this he is with hi. country
dead -


No, no, Molly cannot think So ]
Year: 1870

One cut shows the Bedstead as it appears ! with the crib or single bedstead not in use; the other represents the Bedstead with the at- tachment drawn out. It can be entirely separat- ed from the bedstead and rolled about At
Year: 1870

pleasure. By lifting the foot of the crib, the legs drop down through hollow posts, and are fasten- ed by single bolts bringing the crib on the level with the bedstead. The same process with the the head. The head and foot boards are folded down over the mattress when not in use. The Crib can contain the bed made up for use when when closed in Each bedstead can have single
Year: 1870

AN Irishman, short time in this
country, was eating boiled green corn.
After eating of all the corn, he passed
the cob back to the lady, who sat at
the head Of the table, say ng " Would
you plase be so kind as to put some
mofe banes on the stick -
Year: 1870

Look most to your spending.
No matter what comes i'll; if
more goes out, you will al
ways be poor. The.art is not in
making money. but in keeping
it; little expenses like mice in
a barn; make great waste.
Hair by hair, heads get bald;
straw by straw, the thatch
goes off the cottage; and drop
by drop, the rain comes into
the chamber. A barrel is soon
empty if the tap leaks but a
drop a minute. When you
want to save begin with your
mouth; there are many thieves
down the red lane. The ale
jug is great waste. In all
other things keep within COM
pass. Never stretch your legs
further than the blankets will
reach, or you will soon be cold.
In clothes choose suitable and
lasting stufs, and not tawdry
fineries. To be warm is the
main thing; never mind the
looks. A lool may make mon
ey, but 1t needs a wise man to
spend it. Remember it is ear
sier to build two chimneys
than to keep one going. Ifyou
give all to back and board,
there is nothing left for the saw
ings bank. Fare hard and
work hard while you are young;
and you will have a chance of
rest when you are old.
Year: 1870




An editor with an eye TO
payment for what be sells, in,
dulgeS in this little bit Of phil
oSophy: every man ought TO
pay his debts, if he can. q Ey.
cry man ought 10 get married,
if he can. Every man ought 10
work TO suit his customers, il
he can. Every wife should
hold her tongue, if she can.
Every lawyer should OCCASION
ally tell the truth, if be can.
Every man ought to mind his
own business and let other peo-
pies alone, if he can. Every
man should take a newspaper
and pay for it anyhow"
Year: 1870

A YANKEE editor thus 81
lences the tongue of SANDER:
"There are rumors going about
to the effect that one of our
highly respectable citizene has
lately left our to 9n in compa.
ny with a young lady % years
of age. 1t is said they went to
Boston. There has been quite
a considerable amount of gos
sip about the affair, which we
deem entirely out of place, as
we learn from an authentic
source that the gentleman was
an undertaken, and the young
lady was dead"
Year: 1870

Two physicians in consulta-
ton at the beside of a patient
disputed as to the nature of
the disease. At last one OF
them ended the discussions by
saying: every well, have it
your own way now, but th g
poSt-mortem will show that i
am right" The patient va $
not much encouraged.
Year: 1870

Will accomplish all that is desired. Those
living in malarious districts, West and South,
as general thing need, on the approach Of
warm weather, such remedy; one that will
remove languor, and restore tone and vigor to
the sy stem. No preparation will more elect
ually accomplish this than the
Year: 1870

Most young men consider : 8 great mis-
fortune to be born poor, or not to have capi-
tai enough to establish themselves, at their
outset in life, in good and comfortable bus
mess. This is a mistaken notion. So far
from being a misfortune to them, if we may
Judge from what we every day behold, It is
really blessing the chance is more than
ten to one against him who starts with Tor
tune
Year: 1870

A Young ladies seminary at Salt
Lake has received a proposal ofmarriage
from Brigham Young's oldest son. He
wants to marry little at first to see
if matrimOny amounts to as much as
the old man says it does.
Year: 1870

Having heretofore announced
myself as a candidate for the of
fee of Register for this County,
and feeling it impossible. for me to
visit the people of the County, as
| desire to do, | have thought
best to address you in this circular.


Born and raised in an adjoining
County, having resided in this
County for about seven years, and
in the service of the South, dur
ing her late struggle for indepen-
dence and liberty, lost a leg while
a member of the oath Regiment
Tennessee infantry, l feel author
lied to appeal to the people, with
whom | now live, and with whom
l have suffered and bled, for their
support and encouragement.


Deprived of wealth and fortune,
my chance for a maintainance
must be found in the good will of
the people. And now, fellow-cit-
liens, | can promise you that if
elected the Office shall be faithful
ly and satisfactorily filled, and its
every duty performed with that
fidelity to public trust, that nev-
er fears the scrutiny and criticism
of all. .


If elected, | promise to make
you a faithful servant.


Very respectfully,


BENJAMIN B. THOMPSON.
Year: 1870

Dreamily falls the feathery snow;


The light and the shadow are one
Only the Frightening fire on the hearth


Tells that the night is begun.
Over the pictured wall it filings


Its flame-hght, bright ard bold, -
And tints her hair who stands at the pane,


With its touch Of warmer gold.
About her the window drapery falls


Like sea-foam woven to lace;
The wedding ring is bright as a star


On her hands uplifted grace.
Watching the twilight's dreamy descent


The twilight brings him, you know
Softly the words from her happy lips


"How beautiful is the snow p
Out in the twilight. away from the hearths,


The light and the shadow are one,
Only the chill at her wavering heart
: Tells that the Nighthas begun.
a shadow, not Of the night, on her face


A light, not of day, in her eye wear
That smile on the lips which they sometimes


Whom the world thrusts aside to die.
Far and afar fades the life she has led,


The city, the sin-all behind
Around her the silent darkness falls


With touches so cold, so kind.
Over her creeps ths.dainty shToud


A blessing it is, q know last
That something SO pure has found her at
slow beautiful is the snow p
Year: 1870

Housekeepers, it appears to us,
would do well and wisely if they
were to put lock between tht ir
kerosene oil and their stupid ser
wants. At Milwaukee, Wis, on
the 9th ult., a servant-girl named
Monagan was burnt to death,
the result of an attempt to light a
fire by pouring coal oil on the fuel.
In the same city and at the same
time, two cooks at the National
Hotel were fatally burned through
an indulgence in the same crazy
folly. These poor creatures would
have used gunpowder for the same
purpose if gunpowder had beer
within their reach. Once more
we advise housekeepers to lock ur
The kerosene, not forgetting, how
ever, to furnish the cooks with q
sniiiciency of light material fol
kindling.
Year: 1870

/ Just on the outskirts of Pough-
keepsie, N. Y, lives man by the
name of Warren, Who for years
has enjoyed a plurality Of wives,
much to the disgust OF the neigh
borhood. Warren many years
ago married Il young lady, and
for many years they lived in per-
feet harmony, but one day she
sickened, and she and her friends
supposed she would die. At tbs
crisis she became anxious about
the welfare of her husband, and
busted herself in selecting her
successor, who was to share with
Warren the joys of matrimonial
bliss. The difficulty she at last
overcame by selecting "a woman
she thought worthy to follow in
her footsteps.


Once selected in her mind, she
desired the twain to be made one
flesh, even before her death, that
she might be made happy in her
last moments. They were accord
ingly married by her bedside, and
the sick woman, having her hearts
wish gratified, turned over to die;
but it was not SO to be, for she,
much to the astonishment of all
parties, rapidly grew better, and
soon recovered her health, only
to find her husband given to an
other.


This was more than the wo-
man bar9ained for, but the two
females fixed up the matter, and
it was agreed that they would
live in harmony in thesame house,
and thus they lived for years.
Both women raised a family OF
children; one had six and the
other five. Some OF these chill
dren are grown up men and wo-
men at the present time.


About six months ago the wo-
men quarreled, and the husband
was called on to settle the diff
Guilty, and he espoused the cause
of the youngest wife, and it was
determined on by the two to get
the cd wife out of the house,
which was speedily accomplished,
and she is now doing housework
in the neighborhood, while the
second wife enjoys the bed and
board that were once hers.
Year: 1870

In Burgundy the wolves suffer
so much in summer from thirst,
owing to the scarcity of water IN
the forests. that they rush to the
vineyards and take their fill of
grapes. The juice ferments in
their stomachs, they reel about
like human beings, and fall into
powerful iron traps set for them
Year: 1870

CURE FOR FREcKLEs.-A fellow
in New Orleans is said to have ca.
ten a box of CASTLE soap to get rid
of freckles: He still has a few on
his face, but inside he isn't treck-
led a bit.
Year: 1870

You ask me if l love you,


And cannot answer, "Yes !''
Though there's none l hold above you,
And my hearts in sore distress.
There are words one cannot utter,
And eyes" is one of those;
Yet it is not that l stutter,


Or speak slightly through the nose.
can vow that l adore you,


With my truest fondest breath
But the lisp you've heard before, you
Will allow, can say but eth p
Year: 1870

Whatever be our earthly lot,


Wherever we may roam,
Still to our hearts the brightest spot


Is round the hearth at home;
The home where we received our birth,
The hearth by which we sat,
30 other spot on all the earth,


Will ever be like that.
When winter, coming in its wrath,


Piled high the drifting snow,
Safe clustered round the cheerful hearth
We watched the freight glow
Nor brighter seemed the rudy flames
Than did our hearts, the while
4 loving mother breathcd our names,
With sweet approving smile.
When wesried with our eager chase
Through many tangled path,
How sweet the dear accustomed place,
To talk around the hearth;
And still, when by our toll and care


We feel ourselves oppressed.
Our thoughts forever cluster there,
And there alone find rest.
Bright promise of the rest above,


Sweet shelter from the storm,
i-'ti4C a4dI!C"Sl bN d iIIutt3ti - iDht,


Hearth by that love made warm;
Trough wildly roared the storm without
What rcckcd We OF the cold,
What place for any fear or doubt


Within the loving fold
And > hen some little trouble weighed
Upon the childish heart,
Til from our trimming eyes it made
The gushing ,ear-drops start
How quick before the genial glow,


We felt each sorrow cease,
And back the crystal current flow,
To flood cur hearts with peace.
And brighter with the passing wears
Seems childhood sweet employ,
Aud even sweeter still appears


Each well remembered joy.
Around the cheerful hearth at home,
Where We in childhood sat.
Nc other spot where er We roam,
Viii ever be ike that.
Year: 1870

OUR HANDS. The human hand is so
beautifully formed, and has SO fine 4 sensi-
bility, that sensibility governs its motions
so correctly, every. effort OF the will is an
swered 50 instinctly, as if the hand itself
we're the sea. of the will its actions are so
free, so powerful and yet so delicate, that it
seems to possess quality instinct in itself,
and we use it as we draw our breath, un-
consciously. and have lost all recolections of
the feeble and i'll directed efforts of its first
exercises, by which it has been perfected
In the hand there are twenty nine bones
from the mechanism of which result
strength, mobility and elasticity. On the
length, strength, free lateral motion, and
perfect mobility of the thumb, depends the
power of the hand, its strength being equal
to that of all the fingers. Without the
feshy bail of the thumb, the power of the
fingers would avail nothing aud according
ly the large ball formed by the muscles of
the thumb is the distinguishing character
of the human hand.
Year: 1870

PUBLIC ScHooLs-To PARENTS.
At a meeting of the Board of Educa
ton the following resolution was
unanimously adopted:


ResolUed. That the Superintendent
admit the children to the Second
Primary Schools who shall attain to
the age of six years before the 18th of
June; provided that application shall
be made to the Superintendent, for
their admission, on or before Mon
day. the 21st of February, and at no
other time; and that this rule be pub
lished in the city papers, and notice
given of it in the schools. feb7-Iw
Year: 1870

SCHOOL NoTICE.-We would direct
attention to the construction put
upon the school law in relation to the
admission of children under six years
of age, by the Board of School Trus-
tees. The reason Of this arrange
ment is to afford to those who will
enter their children in the lower or
Second Primary Schools, an oppor-
tunity to do so in body. that better
organization of this grade of the
schools may be effected at once.
When children are entered irregu-
larly, through the half year, they
cannot be properly classified; but if
they come in together, in body. it
will obviate many of the inconveni-
ences of the former arrangement.
The Superintendent is at his Office
each Monday morning, for the ad-
mission of children to the schools.
The Office is in the High School
building.
Year: 1870

PHILHARMONIC SoCIETY.-We are
requested to announce that the meet
ing of this Society will be dispensed
with for tonight, on account of the
desire Of many members to attend the
religious exercises now in progress in
this city. and the lecture Of Mr. Vim
cent.
Year: 1870

HENRY VINCENT's LECrURE.-The
Opera House was well filed last night
considering the storm and the great
interest in the churches.


The speaker sketched the situation
in Europe and in this country, often
contrasting them in a most humorous
manner.


In the course of the lecture, he gave
a very ughable imitation of the man
ner and speech Of some of the tory
members of the British Parliament,
and their apparent fright at the in
PRODUCTION of progressive measures.
No abstract Of his lecture could do it
justice. It must be heard and seen to
be fully appreciated. The subject Of
his lecture for this evening is The
Great American Conflict. and the
Friends and Enemies of America in
England"
Year: 1870

BI- It will be remembered that the
Supreme Court some time since de-
eided in favor of the right of Martin,
Gardner & Co. to build on their prop
erty on the wharf, between Division
and Pine Streets. At the same time
the court also decided that the city
had the right to establish high-wate
lines.


An ordinance will be introduced
into the Council to so establish high
water mark as to virtually condemn
this property to public use. Thus,
while conforming to the decision of
the court, effecting the same end that
the decision temporarily defeated.
Year: 1870

The Trustees Of the Louisville Medical Col
lcce. louisville, KY have created one Of the
most liberal and noble benciactions ever con-
fcrcd by public institution upon any people.
The trustees Of this college have instituted one
beneficiary Scholarship for each Congressional
District in the Southern and surrounding
States By this means very many poor but
deserving Young men will be enabled to obtain
a thorough medical education. Any young
man wishing to take advantage Of this bcne-
faction has ouly to write to the Representa-
tive of the Congressional District in which be
resides. or to the President Of the Medical So
ciety Of his State, or to DR.. L. 5. Gaillaird,
Dean Of the Faculty Of the Louisville Medical
College. Louisville, Ky, when he will receive
full information Of all that it Is necessary for
him to DO TO secure one Of these scholarships.
With proper and welcome delicacy the names
Of these who have secured the Beneficiary
Scholarships will be known only to the Dean
of the Faculty. It is unnecessary to COM
mend those who have established these noble
Beneficiary Scholarships Their act will brirg
them commentators wherever it is known.
Year: 1870

PRospEcTs WELL--We are told that the high
and low bars on Trinity river, from Lowdeny
bridge to Cement Lill, prospect well and will
pay half an ounce day. There is no water,
but Mr. Geo w Woods intends to extend his
Rush creek ditch to cover all the section referred
to. When he does, if reports true, there
will be lively times once more at Lewiston,
Year: 1870

DIP NOT FonGEr Us,-The employees of the


JOURNAL Office are under many obligations to
the lady who so kindly and substantially re-
membered them on Thanksgiving Day. The
cake was perfectly splendid ana the fresh grapes
were a luxury such as "poor devils of printers y
seldom have the opportunity of topping their
lips over" particularly at this season Of the
year Our Thanksgiving prayer was Short, but
that benevolent lady came in for full share of it.
Year: 1870

ONE day this week Chinawoman at this place
attempted to commit suicide by taking an ounce
of opium. 1t appears that she had divided the
dose into four parts and carefully wrapping each
in paper had taken them one after the other. In
a short time she vomited them all up just as
they had gone down the paper, no doubt, kept
the poison from taking effect, as the dose was
sufficient to kill half the Chinamen in town.
Year: 1870

FEELS INJURED. last Troy Re-
Publican announces that Judge Price
withdraws from the Congressional race.
and says that be does not wish to stand
in position where he is sutj.ct to the
abuse Of those who should be his & lends.
This mesns rs, on account Of what we
said last week We have NO wish to
sbuse Judge Price or any other Doniphsn
County man. or to oppose any Of their
honorable aspirations for offics-when we
can consistently do so. we shall always
favor them. IfJudge Price had had any
prospect for nomination. We should not
have said q word. Bot he had not. and
he knew il perfectly we'll. The support
he would have received, under the cir
cnmstances, would not have ben sufficient
even as Q recommendation or foundation
for future promotion. The contest had
narrowed down between Sidney Clarke
and one of several gentlemen who have
been prom inently mentioned in cpposi'
ton to him. Clarke's friends will stick
to him. in opposition to any other man.
no matter how strong the local consider
Ations. The only effect, therefore. oI
numerous candidates ari.ing in the differ
ent parts Of the State. would be to divide
and confuse the opposition to Clarke
From Q confidential conversation OF Judge
Price. overheard not tn any weeks ago. II
was anticipated that something Of the
kind would be attempted in this County
and his coming out on the track at late
hour, confirmed this belief. II We have
done him Injustice. We are sorry for it
but we still believe we were right. j
the people want Clarke delegates. let then
choose them outright: but this thing o
securing them by trickery. We were utter
ly opposed to. This was the extent o
our opposition to and "abuss" Of Judg'
Price.