Year: 1875

AN agricultural IdlT: Inc IarmeT
daughter.


REASON often makes mistakes, b2t con-
science never does.


TIME will only hang up his scythe
when he is no mower.


A CowARDLY soldier is like butter when
he runs before the fire.


A MANS clothes are against him. espe-
cially if they are old clothes.


TAKEN as a whole pill is good
thing, but it is bitter to chew.


WHAT is that which by losing an eye
has only nose left? A noise.


To PRESERVE the unity of figures, car
pets should be kept in tackled.


He who can take advice is sometimes
superior to him who can give it.


Their is much pulling and hauling for
a living in the dental profession.


Don't throw dust in your teachers
eyes. 1t will only inJure the pupil.


THE poems on Autumn" are all in.
Now for shy at winter.-Boston Post.


HASTE makes waist Young ladies
should linger over meals accordingly.


THERE are various stations in life, but
the least desirable is police station.


TALKING politics is a business not
profitable enough to support family.


SLEIGHINa dears at this season isn't a
violation of the Game law in Vermont.


A QUEER old chap has nicknamed his
daughter Misery, because she loves COM
pany.


WHAT carpenters implement does the
carpenter himself resembleS The screw
driver.


JEAN INGELow says that children re-
it to another"


A CALIFORNIA orchard blossomed and
bore after being subjected to the heat of
great coniagration.


THERE is no law against butting ones
head against a stOne-wall, but as a rule
the remuneration is small.


The troublesome visitor who has been
shutting the doors after him all summer
now begi6s TO leave them open.


AN Eastern girl who tried to describe
lump of coal weighing 500 pounds said
"It's as big as mothers evershoes."


A RECENT gale lowered Detroit River
to greater extent than was ever before
known, at least within the recollection
of old river men.


THERE is nothing to be so highly
priced as a soft, sweet voice in woman
except her ability to take in washing
when hard times come.


"Now THAT the winter season is fairly
upon us" is an expression which hasn't
been used in over 5000 newspapers this
winter.


MANY a child goes astray, not because
there is want of prayer or virtue at home
but simply because home lacks sun
shine.


THE San Francisco Board of Brokers
consists of but eighty members and the
number cannot be increased. A sea-
was recently sold for $4,000.
A FOOLISH old setting hen of Jackson
Tenn, abandoned her eggs, robbed an
old cat of its kittens, and is now cover
ing her ill-gotten and unnatural family.


A DENVER girl who had both arms and
one leg cut off by a locomotive a little
over year ago plays "tag" on one foot
and hops around for hours at time
without sitting down.


THE other day a Binghamton gir
offered to let countryman kiss her fol
five cents. II gadp exclaimed the
youth, that's mighty cheap if fellel
only had the money"


al AM busy plowlng and cannot enter
tain company now," is the substance o.
a note recently written by an Illinois
girl to st. Louis exquisite who had me
her at fashionable party in the latte
city and wished to visit her at home
The maiden is a graduate of an Illinois
seminary, and her father gave her al
eighty-acre farm on condition that she
should help work it herself, which sh'
does.


SOME of the Connecticut people arr
complaining bitterly again of the wa.
! paupers are imposed upon the towns O
that State through the law of Massachu
sets by which poor persons receive
passes over the railroads. They are car
ried as far as the State line, where thei
fare is demanded, and if they don't pa!
they are put off the train, and of course
happen to be left.


WE once were acquainted with MAJ
who had large hot legs of roasted nut
ton every morning for his breakfast; ant
what gigantic pieces de resistance he hat
for his dinner only his cook and butche
knew. When he bought turkeys h,
bought two--one for himself and one 70
his family. No Emperor in the days o
the Roman decadence ever ate more thai
this honest New England citizen, and h
lived to be eighty in spite of no
sausages every night just before goinI
TO bed.-NelO York Tribune.


AN old inebriate from the western por
tion of the county, with well-traine,
horse that understood perfectly tn
habits and interests of its owner, cam
tOItown one day last week and befor
evening became beastly drunk, and wa
found near Tomlinson & Howard's liver
stable stuck fast in the mud with hi
faithful horse standing over him, an
upon an effort being made to rescue hir
from his muddy bed the horse tough
manfully over the senseless body of hi
master.-O0urter-J Journal