Year: 1871

I had an aunt coming to visit me for
the first time since my marriage, and !
don't know what evil genius prompted
the wickedness which I perpetrated to
wards my wife and ancient relation.


my DEAR" said I to my wife on the
day before my aunt's arrival, "you know
aunt Mary is coming tomorrow; we'll l
forgot to mention rather annoying cir
cumstance with regard to her. She is
very deaf; and although she can hear
my voice, to which she is accustomed, in
its ordinary tones, yet you will be oblig-
ed to speak extremely loud in order to
be heard. 1t will be rather inconven
lent, but know you will do everything
in your power to make her stay agreea-
ble."


Mrs. announced her determina-
ton to make herself heard if in her
power.


l then went to John N--who loves
joke about as well as any person I
know of, and told him to be at the house
at 6 p. NJ, the following evening, and
felt comparatively happy.


went to the railroad depot with a
carriage next night and when on my
way home with my aunt, l said:


my dear aunt, there is one rather an
noying intirmity that Annie (my wife)
has, which forgot to mention before
She is very deaf and although she can
hear my voice, to which she is aocus-
toned, in it's ordinary tones, yet you
will be obliged to speak extremely loud
in order to be heard. l am very sorry
for it.'


Aunt Mary, in the goodness of her
heart, protested that she rather liked
speaking loud, and to do so would afford
her great pleasure.


The carriage drove upon the steps
was my wife-in the window was John
N, with face as utterly solemn as
if lie had buried his relative that after
noon.


II am delighted to see YOU" shrieked
my wife-and the policeman on the OPP
posite sidewalk started, and my aunt
nearly fell Oh the steps.


kiss me, my DEAR" bawled my aunt,
and the windows shook as with the
fever and ague. I looked at the win
dow-John had disappeared. Human
nature could endure it no longer. l
poked my head into the carriage and
went into strong commissions. When
entered the parlo-. my wife was help
ing aunt Mary to take off her hat and
cap; and there sat John with his face
buried in his handkerchief.


Suddenly-"didy you have a pleasant
journey?" went off my wife like pis-
tol and John nearly jumped to his feet.


Rather dusty" was the response in
war whoop, and the conversation con-
tinued.


The neighbors for blocks around
must have heard it; when was in the
third story of the building heard every
word.


In the course Of the evening my aunt
took occasion to say to me:


"How loud your wife talks!"


l told her deaf persons talk loudly,
and that my wife, being used to it, was
not affected by the exertion, and she
was getting along very nicely with her


Presently my wife said softly:


"Alf, how very loud your aunt talks"


"Yes," said I, all deaf persons do
You are getting along with her finely;
she hears every word you say" And l
rather think she did.


Elatt d at their success at being under.
stood, they went at it; hammer aud
tongs, till everything upon the mantel.
piece clattered again, anu was seriously
afraid Of crowd collecting in front of
the house.


But the end was near. My aunt be-
ing of an investigating turn of mind,
was desirous of finding out whether the
exertion Of talking was injurious to my
wife. So she asked:


doesn't talking so loud strain your
lungs?" in an unearthly whoop, for her
voice was not so musical rs when she
was young.


"It's an cxertion," fairly shrieked my
wife.


"Then why do you do it," was the
answering scream.