smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1872

The man who can have his
coffin made while alive must
look at death philosophically.
We hear of a case in point in
Person county. Mr.. Richard
Hargis, who has lived near Brad


sher's store for thirty odd years,
turned out a sassafras tree to
grow, for the purpose of making


himself a coffin, and about


twelve months ago had it cut


down and got some one in Rox-
borough to make his coffin out


of it. The old chap occasional
.ly gets in and stretches himself


out by way of showing his


neighbors a 'fgood fit" He


paid the maker of the coffin in
wheat, so he is one living man


who will have no fuss over his
grave about the coffin when
dead. This reminds us of an
old coon in Murfreesboro, n. c.,
who had a coffin cast of iron be-
fore the war. He had his grave
dug, also, and walled up with


brick-with a magnificent tomb


stone, setting forth his name,


date of birth, and fixing his


death somewhere about the


year 1861" But he was alive


and kicking in 1868. The old


chap kept his cast-iron coffin in


his corn-crib, and used to shell


corn in it. The crib needed no


lock at night, for you couldn't


get a negro to go near it after


dark.-Hlzsboro (Mo.) Leader.
Year: 1872

The following is the experience
of a mechanic, concerning the
benefits of newspaper:


Ten years ago | lived in town
in Indiana. On returning home
one night, for am a carpenter by
trade, ! saw a little girl leave my
door, and | asked my. wife whu
she was. She said Mrs. Harris
had sent after their newspaper,
which my wife had borrowed
As we sat down to tea, my wife
said to me, by my given name


81 wish you would subscribe for
the newspaper, it is 80 much CON-
fort to me when you are away
from home" :"


81 would like to do so, said [;
you know | owe payment on the
house and lot. 1t will be oil /
can do to meet it."


one Ieplled:


eff you will take this paper, l
will sew for the tailor to pay forit."


| subscribed for the paper; it
came in due time to the shop
While resting one noon, and look
ing over it, | saw an advertise
IneDt of the county commissioners
to let bridge that was to be built.


put in a bid for the bridge,
and the job was awarded to me,
on which | cleared three hundred
dollars which enabled me to pay
for M house and lot easily, and
for the newspaper. If l had not
subscribed for the newspaper l
would not have known anything
about the contract, and could net
have met my payment on my
house and lot. A working man
never loses anything by taking a
newspaper.
Year: 1872

A nice young girl at Green
Bay, Wisconsin, was being
courted by nice young man.
He was generously inclined, and
made her presents of hair oil,
which he purchased from the
store of the father Of his adored.
After giving her some twenty
bottles of the oleaginous fluid
he discovered he was working
in a circle-as fast as he presen-
ted them she returned them to
the store, thus dutifully making
trade for her father. No
cards.
Year: 1872

1t is not lawful for any man be-
low the rank of colonel to register
at any hotel in Memphis. Least
wise we suppose it is; for the News
Of that city of a late date men,
tions none but colonels as regis
tered at one of the hotels.
Year: 1872

A citizen of Chicago recent
ly shot himself on the Kansas
Pacific Railroad. He had been
playing three card monte on the
train. He was right. A man
who will play three card monte
ought to shoot himself.
Year: 1872

A little boy of Athens, N. Y,
lately put a rope around his neck
in the barn, aud then slid off the
hay to frighten his sister. He
succeeded admirably. but was
dead before she could 60 to the
house and return with her mother.
Year: 1872

The following answer was sent;
To the Chicago Republican Co:


GENTLEMEN-We are in receipt
of your very liberal donation of
$500 Confederate money! in aid
of Southern orphans, and for
which you will please accept
through US the acknowledgment
Of destitute and starving children.


We are women and strangers
in your city, and, as such, entitled
to some little show of courtesy.
We are not politicians, nor have
we come here to appeal or to at
tack your prtjudices, political or
religious. Our appeal is to the
gentle charities and human SYM
pathles of a Christian people, IL
respective Of party or sect.


Yours is the first instance since
we left our home upon this mis-
sion of love and charity that On
attempt has been made to insult
US or the objeat of our labors.
Year: 1872

A young candidate for Office in
Greene County, N. Y, took bis
defeat 80 much to heart that he
went on a drunken debauch to
drown his sorrow, and died in a
week. Before his nomination be
had never tasted a drop of liquor.
Year: 1872

An Iowa lady hits the nail
square on the head when in writ
ing upon the woman suffrage ques-
tion, she says: "You may look
at this matter in whatever light
you will; but simmerit down and
it is but a quarrel with the Al
mighty that we are not all meu.
Year: 1872

A remedy which I have tried and
found efiectual, is this:-One ounce of
oxalic acid dissolved in one quart of wa
ter. Wet the iron rust spots in this so
luton and lay il in the hot sun the rust
will disappear in from three to twenty
minutes, according to its depth. have
just experienced by holding a rusted
cloth, wei with this solution, over the
steam of boiling tea-kettle, and the rust
disappeared instantly. In either case
the cloth should be well rinsed in water
as soon as the rust disappears, to prevent
injury from the acid. Many use this
acid TO remove fruit and and ink stains
from whiie fabrics. When diluted still
more, il may be used to remove fruit or
ink stains from the hsDds.
Year: 1872

How gossip increases and grows till 1t
gets into genuine scandal, and is entirely
different from the original story, is told
by letter-writer. He says that he was
told, If he ever took house in terrace
a little way out Of town, to be very care
ful that il was the centre one, at least if
he had any regard for his reputation.
For one must be well aware that story
never loses by telling, and, consequently
if he lived in the middle Of a row Of
houses it was very clear that the tales
which might be circulated TO his preju-
dice would only have half the distance
to travel on either side of him, and there
fore could only be half as bad by the
time they got down to the bottoh of the
terrace as the tales that might be circu-
lated of the wretched individuals who
had the misfortune to live at either end
Of il; so that he would be certain to
have twice as good a character in the
neighborhood as they had. As an illus
tration of this he was informed of Ia
mentable case that actually occurred a
short time since. The servant Of No. ]
told the servant of No. 2 that her mas
ter expected his old friends, the Baleys.
to pay him visit shortly; and No. z
told No. 2 that 3 that No. expected to
have the Bayleys in the house every day,
and No. 3 told No. 4 that il was all up
with No. /. for they couldn't keep the
bailiffs out Whereupon No. 4 told No.
5 that the officers were after No. |, and
that il was as much as he could do to pre-
vent himself being taken into execution,
and that il was nearly killing his poor
dear wife; and so il went on increasing
and increasing, until it got to No. 32,
who confidently assured the last house,
No. 33, that the Bow-street officers had
taken up the gentleman who lived at No.
/. for killing his poor dear wife with ar
senic, and that il was hoped and expec-
ted that he would be executed.-LOadOn


Paper.
Year: 1872

Our setsts eotemporasy Of the Tro-
Hera'd says that the people of Toy hse.
lately had high railroad fever over
the prospect Of the completion Of the
Ut. Louis aud Keokuk railroad on the
ridge route. We think it more likely
th.' the people Of that section have the
railroad collie, aud that as soou as they
can find vent FOR their surplus Gas the y
will BE- as flabby as a cast off guany bag !.
--Clarksville Sentinel.


We can assure our friend Of the Sen
tinsl that ous railroad food is of a more
substantial quality; but it seems that
he cant even raise railroad wind enough
OF late to get up irst class colo. With
grin Of quiet resignation he leans back
in his soft paper cushioned chair and asks
that no "more letters iquirng about the
railroad" be sent him. Won ler if all the
gas our friend has disposed of has made
him feel fabby?
Year: 1872

IT Ticks AT LAsr.-We own family
time piece, priced more for its former
associations than for its intrinsic value,
that has of late years been in the hands
of moro than half dozen watchmakers,
none of whom ever bothered its condition
We began to despair and laid it carefully
away. Speaking Of the watch one day
before Mr. Benz. Scully, an excellent
matchmaker, who has latel ly settled among
US, he asked US to let him try his hand
His generous offer persuaded US, though
We had little hope that he could do
much better than the others. In this
We we're mistaken, for he skilfully
sought out the defect and repaired it,
and now, after carrying it for some time,
we find that it ticks along as lively as q
cricket, and is apparently good for many
more years of service. We feel no hesi
fancy, after thi, trial. Of pronouuciug Mr..
Scully first class workman, and recon.
mending him as such to all who have
stubborn watches IIo may be found at
the Telegraph office, in the blue building
opposite the court house.
Year: 1872

THE New TowNsHIp.-By reference
to an advertisement in this paper, the
boundaries Of the proposed new town.
ship, to be called Nineveh, mention of
which was made last week, may be seen.
The County Court will take action in the
matter on the first day of the August
term
Year: 1872

Tho accounts Of five out Of the six
collectors Of customs at Mobile, who
have run that Federal machine since the
war, are still open and unsettled That's
q pretty fair average OF the general busi-
ness management Of the administration -
one sixth reasonably fair and five slshs
shaky and suspicious.
Year: 1872

If you want GROCERIES at what
they are worth, call on w s. Cooper at
the Novelty Cash Store. Don't believe
what others say, but call it is no trou
BILE to show goods l was told by n lady
that merchant said my goods were very
inferior, but after examining them she
bought, aud said she would call again.
Year: 1872

It's about an ancient caunibsl man,
Who came from an island near Japan,
A cannibal man who was tough and old.
when Barnum bought him aud paid IN gold.
And whether the man or Barlum was sold,


You viii learn in this solemn story.
His teeth " ere sharp as the teeth of a saw.
And he had two rows in his lower jaw
Filed and polished. and ready for use
On any customer full IF juice,
Or the first fine baby that lay around loose,


For babies were all his glory.
A sad mistake for cannibal band
10 come to an almost babyless land,
For babies are strangely out of style;
You may travel the country many mile
Without the light of a baby-smile


Unless with the Dutch and IrisE.
But Barnum kept his man In a cage.
Though he felt quite sure. at the fellows age
That his cannibalistic feats were done,
Unless he should eat a man for fun;
And once on the sly, he fed him one,


Which wasn't a wise proceeding.
For, having tasted white mans meat,
He was always ready to kill and eat
Aud he looked with longing at rosy girls
Who came to the show in shining curls.
With cheeks like peaches and teeth like pearls,


And he wondered how they tasted.
1t happened once. when the flesh was weak
That he snatched a bite from rosy cheek:
When Barnum entered the cage to beat him,
The cannibal thought he had come to treat him,
And so straightway began to eat him,


Without even salt or pepper.
And though he was stringy and awful tough.
For good square meal he proved enough,
Alas alack! what terrible omen;
[t teaches to women as well as sbowmen
That v hether cannibal, Greek or Roman,


Be ser so old, you can trust no man.
Year: 1872

Would He? Oh, if He would


When a girl is, in country parlance,
"sitting up with a young man." it is
desirable that her parents should make
practice of going to bed early. Farmer
Allen and his dame were not behind
hand in this respect. They knew what
was expected of them, and duty, fortu-
nately, conceded with both habit and
inclination. SO by So'clock all was still
that Sunday evening in the old home
stead, except for the distant creak of
some bedstead bending under the
weight of sleeper, and the cracking
of the ample fire upon the kitchen
hearth, beside which the lovers sat.
Philip was in the farmers big chair, and
Mary on low stool drawn up close TO
it. There were tears on her fair cheek,
and Philip looked grave and pale as he
stroked her small fingers in his broad
palm.


"And SO it's been like cloud over
the day-the day we said was going to
be so happy, Mary. Not that it hasn't
been happy, dear must take that
back-happy in some ways. But all
the time | am seeing that face-that
poor changed face"


"Is she good looking still ?" faltered
Mary.


"No, not good looking now. You
needn't worry, dear. The bright pretty
| face of old times is all gone. Nobody


=
Year: 1872




It is now almost a fixed fact, as
We are informed, that line of rail
way will be constructed from
Memphis direct to Knoxville, pass
ing through either one or the other
OF the. counties of Maury or Giles.
/ The question then for our people to
determine is, whether or not they
Will use the means in their'power to
bring this great enterprise through
our own county, or sit silent, With
our arms folded, while the PEOPLE
Of an adjoining county put their
shoulders to the wheel and snatch
1t from US. Men who raise the hue
and cry Of taxation against this
enterprise forget that it bears with
it as one Of its most promising and
eRticing features q gztd D-o Qzo.
Take the connty as an. individual,
and let it make = purchase Of this
railway, even at the price of $500.
600, and the simple enhancement Of
the value Of its lands will more than
pay the amount, not to speak of the
shipment Of its produce, the market
afforded Tor its live stock and the
consequent increase of its popula-
tiOn. Memphis promises to be the
Eastern terminus of the Great
Southern Pacific Railroad; while
already a line connects Knoxville
with Norfolk, thus making his
railroad q connecting link in
great chain Of railway extending
from the Pacific coast on the west to
Norfolk on the east. ALREADY the
Nashville and Decatur Railroad is
in the iine of g great railway thor
ougbfare from the Lakes aud the
Eastern cities to the Gulf. Tais
will place US at the crossing point
of these great railways; and what
viii be the result? Our lands will
increase in value; all parts CT the
country will be Of easy access; mar
kets viii be in rea h for oai pro.
ducc and live stock; our uacultiva
ted lands will become valuable and
in requisition; our county seat will
swell TO the dignity of city, and
a new spirit Of enterprise and pros
pcrity will diffuse itself among our
people and give US o high rank
among the first counties of the
State. These are the inevitable re
suits. One OF THE PEOPLE.
Year: 1872

The following is understood to be
the correct response to the above
cOnnundrum


A Dolly Warden" is a moire an
tique dress pattern Il the more an
tique it IS, the better-it is made of
some material, and is cut bias at
the top and bottom, and trimmed
with Honiton polonaise and tube
roses, with a peplum running two
chains and TIVE links to the south
west from the starting point, around
the outskirts of civilization, and
pinned together with a self-acting
solitaire pin. The dress pattern is
figured largely, and the dress will
figure largely during the coming
compaign. The figur IS are 50 large
that t takes eight dress patterns to
show off the figures to advantage.
When brOiled land husbands get in
q broil if they don't buy one), they
are excellent, covered with a gravy
made in the shape of an overdress.
They are buckled down under the
shoes like tight pants, and have a
hustle en- as large as a load Of hay.
Year: 1872

This practical farm and family
weekly is a regular visitor to our
sanctum, It is one Of the best es-
tablished journals Of its class in the
West and Southwest, and is acknowl-
edged to be good authority on al
matters pertaining to the subjects OF
which il treats. 1t is practical in
character, dignifFed in discussion
and original in all its departments.
Not a single number comes TO our
Office that does not contain son c
useful suggestion that is worth more
than the price Of the paper for one
year. 1t is published every Satur
day by Norman j. Colman, St Louis,
No, at 81 per year.
Year: 1872

A lady's veil was blown from her
head one day last week in Franklin,
and was soon blown out of sight in
q northern direction. The same
veil was observed ia Nashville
lodged upon the euPcla Of the Cap
itol, and was afterwards picked up
in the city.
Year: 1872

Among the passengers on the train
bound south last evening was a man
born and raised in the county of Otsego,
N. Y. His name is William Jacobs. He
pTides himself on three well-developed
arms and hands, the member extraordi-
nary having grown above the right
shoulder-blade.


1t hangs suspended down the back, and
can be raised and lowered at will. In
length it is shorter than the arms proper,
but possesses extraordinary muscle, which
he displays whenever occasion demands
it, No person passing through railroad
car, or meeting him upon the street, would
observe any deformity, but after becom-
ing cognizant of this singular case, would
observe peculiar fit of his coat.


He states that he has often been ques-
toned as to why he does not place him
self on exhibition, or become one of Bar
NUNS permanent attractions. His in
variable reply is that he is averse to pub
lie exhibitions. His father being
wealthy farmer, he had always preferred
to remain at home, and was the most act
i've and profitable of farmers help. He
would assist in loading hay, and at the
same time hold securely the horses reins.
On several occasions he came near break
ing this unnatural member by sudden
falls, and at one time suffered the pangs
of full-sized felon upon the fore-fingcr.


On one occasion, when about eighteen,
the village boys thought they would have
a little sport at "three-arms expense,
and commenced a system of blackguard-
ism, followed by bold attacks upon his
person. Forbearance ceased to be a Vir-
tue, and. throwing off his loose garments,
he went for them in true pugilistic style,
arm number three performing its duty no.
bly,, and apparently outrivalling numbers
one and two. At the end of the skirmish,
six PROSTATE villagers told what fierce
opponent they had met. "Three-arms"
gained notoriety, and never afterward
was persecuted on account of his de-
formity. At the outbreak of the rebellion
he Joined New York regiment, and so
distinguished himself by bravery, that he
was finally promoted to Captain, and
ranked as the best drill officer of the
regiment to which he was attached. At
the close of the war he returned 10 the
farm, and has since remained there. He
is now en- route for the South to visit a sis
ter somewhere in the interior of North
Carolina. II may be query with some
how he could use his arm with the proper
clothing upon his body. All his garments
intended for laboring suits were so made
as to open upon the back, and closed by
buttoning, the same as child's apron.
He is truly a wonder. Being a man of
fine conversational powers, an interview
with him is especially agreeable, and he
relates many pleasing anecdotes of him
self with great relish. Wi1tamsp0rt (Fa.)
Gazette.
Year: 1872

On Sunday evening in one of our Epis


copal churches, young man and young
woman were observed in close converse.
tlon, and from their manner il was evi.
dent that their conversation was of a
very pleasant character. A gentleman
who sat close behind them being disturb.
ed from dcvotions by their movements,
and who was unable again to resume them,
deemed il eXpedient to watch them a lit
tie more closely, and soon found that
their attentions were concentrated on a
prayer book in which one underlined
some words to form a question, whilst
the other did the same in order to form
an answer A pause ensued, after which
the young lady, who for moment had
been evidently in deep thought, rapidly
turned over the leaves of the Prayer
Book to the Service of Matrimony, which
having reached, she pointed to the all
important question" Wilt thou have
this woman to be thy welded Wife" etc.
This, however, elected no reply from her
companion, who had become stolid. He
had to be nudged and even pinched be-
fore even a smile could be got from him.


At length, altogether out of patience,
she gave him violent nudge, but this he
appeared not to notice. AT length the
fair one nerved herself for the decisive
moment, she jobbed him with pin, and
holding before him the book, again pro-
pounded the question. Her companion
somewhat reused himself, and, looking
the lady full in the face, gave such de.
clded MOP as completely disconnected
the husband-seeker, who, 10 hide her NOR
tification, buried her face In her hands,


from which it did not emerge until the


"Amen " was said, and the congregation
Year: 1872

GRINDING APPLES. The American Ar
tisdn suggests that there are better ways
of grinding apples than those usually
practiced 1t says "The best cider in
the world is said to be made in the Prov
ince of Normally in France, where it was
introduced many ages since by the Moors,
who preserved among them the art of
making the beverage after coming from
the place of their nativity. The Norman
cider mills, so say the books, are com
posed of revolving edge stones, turned
in circular stone cistern by one or two
horses'-in other words, by rude Chill
ian mill. From its simple construction
and direct action but little power is lost
from friction, and an iron mill of this
character, as far as crushing the fruit is
concerned, would doubtless do more and
better work than the more common ap-
ple-grinding apparatus There would re-
main, however, the liability to rust, and
the need of simple but efficient means for
continuously feeding the fruit and re-
moving the pulp. The former could be
remedied by nickle-plating the grinding
surface of the wheel and basin of the
trough, and painting the rest. The method
is a matter for future improvements to
provide"
Year: 1872

dispersed, when II was noticed that the
young fellow hurried out at a tolcrably
rapid rate, whilst she who had tormentcd
him stayed behind, as If to put rs great a
distance as possible between herself and
the faithless one who had disappointed
and discomfited her. .-M0ntreaL Herald.