Year: 1873

- SSGGH& SONCAOoAVNs


Are Men and Women Fond OF Each
| O1heRs
ID The Pail Mall Gazette is exercised
over the question whether "msIl arr
moro interesting to men than womer
are, and whether women find more in
women to interest them than they dc
in men," The Gazette comes to the
unwelcome conclusion thst the pre-.
tended fondness OF the two sexes fol
one another is the great Fundamental
hypocrisy of the race. It would be
unfair to dwell too much on the cir
cunstance that they make one another
uncomfortable in a way that men never
make men nor women women, taking
that fact by itself. This might be 4
mere result of their being different.
But review of the whole case tends
to establish general incompatibihty
between the two. Things will have to
alter very much If men aud women are
to get along well together. The pre-
tenoe that they are dying of sheer
liking for one another is not only not
proved, it is disproved. Not merely is
THAT Kind Of mortality wholly absent
from the returns, but after all these
centuries the two sexes greatly keep
aloof from one another. 81 :
When you can get glmse of their
| true tendencies, it comes out clearly
| enough that men and women are do
| mestlc creatures under compulsion.
All kinds of social contrivances have
been tried. the real purpose of which,
| no matter how it may be disguised, is
| to separate the sexes, and SO secure for
each, the pleasure of being only in its
own society. There is no sacrafice
men will not make to get this luxuy.
They will support the costiest clubs,
they will smoke, they will pretend any
| sort OF recre4 4.tion from cards down to
billiards, sooner than not be apart
from women a portion of their me-
The like thing holds of the ladies in
the same way. The inability of men
to stay at home, allows their wives to
assemble mutual clubs in their own
drawing rooms, aud they do so. For
one club the men have, the women
have hundreds ust as many as there
are houses ola.


The truth is, the taste of the sexes
radically differ. At home feminine
hkings prevail, and there is no man
who is not more OF. less aware that the
minor arrangements and wonderful





namentatIon Of lis house are not for
him nor for his sex, but for the other.
Just as little can it be doubted that
men and women dress each for their
own sex i; that it is the admiration of
their own kind, not of the opposite
one, they lay themselves most ont for.
Men and women are in q perpetual
condition OF surprise, and scoff ut each
others styles, both always sef-com-
placsnt and always omitting criticism
of their own.


Conversation equally betrays this
natural opposition. If the sexes had
real respect for one another, would
they indulge in those unbelievable
compliments Neither does it to those
OF their own kind whom they honestly
like. The artificial style of talk which
Is the tradltlonary custom of the sexes,
IS plainly that of creatures who do not
understand each other and have mu-
tual suspicious. Being strange. they
betake themselves to compliments.


A qualification in reference to the
family relation has to be made. To a
man his mother Is not a woman-she is
divinity. The like partly holds in q
girl OF her father, and brothers and
sisters are not of any sex. But get
outside of this non-se1ual circle. and
the antipathy comes quickly into play.
Boys nearly hate girls, and the feeling
is retured. Old men care nothing for
women Of any age, except as nurses;
old women creep together. It is only
during the central portion of life that
the sexes can be said to be civil to one
another. In fact, if nature had not
forced men and women to love each
other during that portion willy-nilly,
and given them thatncredible and per
picking bribe of children, it is doubt
full whether they would have any mu-
tual liking. Love is all that exists be-
tween them.


It is astonishing, considering what
complete, intricate, long association
the bringing up family ties couple
to, that they do not become more really
intimate than they do even in the best
cases. Doubt may well be felt that
there are few husbands and wives who,
in spite of all the trials they have
shared, have not at the bottom of their
hearts a sense of grievance one against
the other.


1t is all very sad: but it cannot be
helped. The sexes are a partial failure,
and somehow has arisen an enormous
exaggeration of their liking for one
another. Looked at calmly, the in
terest each has for the other is wefully
lacking in versatility; it is alike mo-
aotonous and small-mere love, in fact