Year: 1873

RQuAlS lJlHhSg u 4OiilNO OiO SShNAOAAoh
lives away down on Seventh street, Peor-
ia, illinois, The other morning three old
ladies from Macon county came to his
house on visit. They used to know his
wife before she was married. The Squire
welcomed them to his mansion, and then
went to the barn and swore for half an
hour, While he was soothing himself
thus his wife called him into the house.
She handed him an umbrella to keep off
the sun, and said the ladies had walked
up from the depot, and left some things
there for him to. bring up. So he brought
them up, making two round trips for the
baskets, band boxes and ;wo black oil
cloth travelling bags, all of which the
Squire discourteously called "infernal
old traps"


AS he sat in the back kitchen chair
wiping his brow, his wife brought out the
market basket, and said there was not a
bit of sugar or tea in the house, and she
remarked that while he was going down
town he might as well get the molasses
jug filed. The Squire asked her how
long these migratory old pelicans were
going to remain. And she asked him if
he thought it wonld not be rude to ask
them. Then the Squire went down and
laid in the groceries. When he had got
back his wife said she had just forgotten
something, and thought of it, just when it
was too late. She must have some corn
starch. The Squire asked her if any of
the old scare-crows had dropped the least
hint as to the duration of the visit. She
said not. The Squire looked sad and dis
comfitted.


When he laid the paper of corn starch
on the table, his wife said they must have
a Goldfish for dinner. One of the ladies
said in the course of conversation that
she was fond of Goldfish. The old Squire
asked if the old buzzards had yet COM
mitted themselves as to the proposed ex
tent Of their present roost. She said he
ought to be ashamed of himself.


When he slapped the Goldfish down on
the table with a whang, his wife got him
to bring in some water and wood said
Mrs. Spopnauger never dined without
ale, and the Squire was asked if he would
go down and bring up bottle. He ask
ed if he shouldn't go into the parlor and
get those old cormorants to make out
list of what they did like, and further
more asked if they were silent as to the
time when they thought they would GO
away.


He got the ale, and for fear he would
have to trot down town again he hired an
express wagon, and loaded it with all
sorts of garden truck, bottle Of whisky,
box Of sardines, pound of snuff, some
cove oysters, dried apples, beans, smoked
tongue, cut and dried tobacco, picked
walnuts, canned corn, mackerel, split
| peas, etc.


The next day the Squire was sent down
only eight times.


Early the next morning he went to the
country to see a man. When he got
home he asked his wife if any time had
been set for the departure. On the even
ing of the following Monday one of the
old ladies said she thought they ought to
start on the next Friday, so as to reach
home before Sunday. Mrs. 3inks said
they oughtn't to be in a hurry. The
Squire groaned, and said they ought to
stay and make their visit out. On Fri
day morning the Squire had an express
wagon before the door, but his wife said
the ladies had concluded to stay over the
next week or two. Then the Squire went
out to saw wood and converse with him
self.