Year: 1871




No one ever comes up into the
rooms Of the top story of a four
story building set apart for the
staff of daily paper. This is why
every article reads so evenly and
smoothly. All you've got to do ii
you belong to the staff is to climb
up there, sit all day long in the
deep, grim silence, and when mid
night comes you can lower yourself
down stairs with a consciousness
that every article will read like
clock-work.


Yesterday morning I commenced
an article entitled "The Unseen In
fuences of the Spirit World" and
had got so far as to say that cal
though we hear no voices, there is
some subtle influence pervading the
- when a man came up with a
demand for a correction of an article
charging him with bigamy. You
have to keep right on with an io


when you got hold of It, and so /
run him in.


"Pervading the air about you all
the time Peter Smith has called at
this Office to say that the unheard
voices coming from the dead often
swerve from he isn't the man men
toned as having two wives the path
marked out by obstinate"


Here another man came in and
wanted a notice of his new build
ing.")
spirits which refuse to yield to
that new block on Michigan avenue,
although Smith is directly charged
by the police with a marble front
and 12O feet deep. At night, after
a days toll, who does not love to
sit down and let his mind run to
the mysterious shadowy basement
under it and stone caps above the
windows we take great pleasure in
setting Smith right before his fel-
low-citizens, and


Certainly, sir, look at all the the
State maps you want to, and call
back the spirit of some dear friend
gone before us will ascertain the
name of the policeman who wrong
fully accused Mr.. Smith of having
a frontage on Michigan avenue
which helps the look Of that street
very much, and you will find the
County of Hillsdale further to the
left of that land from which no one
has ever returned to tell us whether
our friends are sad or joyful"


Here a boy came up and wanted
to sell some tonka beans to keep
moths off,


THANK We bub, don't want any
tonka beans fyou ever want to look
at any more of our maps come right
up with a Mansard roof to crown
all, and Smith is now set right be-
fore the public and his friends
generally, who have thus improved
the town and commune with them
as to whether a moment of sadness
does not occasionally steal over
them as they think of the fond
friends left behind come up again
and I'll talk with you. about the
tonka beans and every patriotic citi-
zen ought to keep a State map in
his new block on Michigan avenue.
Smith states that one Of his wives
deserted him in Illinois and the
other"


Here a subscriber came in and
wanted to know why no paper was
issued the day after Thanksgiving.


Because it was a day set apart
for one hundred and forty-four
widows in the entire block with
tonka beans enameled on State
maps to mourn their early de-
parture through the valley and the
shadow of death. I don't want you
to bother me any more Mr.. Smith
about your wives and come bub
get right down stairs now with your
beans to that spirit land where all
Joy and peace the compositors
wanted holiday and it's against
the principles Of Christianity to"


Here a boy came up with a bas-
ket of apples.) --w


Forever more can't eat apples
owing to my teeth and Smith is
now made good for any beans which
any State map connected with this
Office has nothing but Joy and peace
4 Al n - ~