Year: 1871

ease ana quiet Sell-cOnn0ence, WHICH WOmaE IN


no other way gets as unlike the talk and manner
of the be.laced, be-velveted, trashy, fashionable


woman as the diamond is unlike its paste imita-


ton, which may sparkle as brightly, while it


wants all that makes the diamond. Say what you
| will of the uselessness of books and study and


thought to woman, she is not a doll or play
| thing and a man does not want to marry either


a nursery-maid or bundle of upholstery, but a


rational being capable of giving rational en-


ioyment and of securing the place she may have
! won by the more solid charms of well-sored,


well balanced mind. do not believe, much as


men hatter the nonsense in women, much as wo-


men feed upon and believe in admiration, that


any man is ever thoroughly satisfied with wo-
| man unless he discovers a something of mind In


her. | know that Americans do not like to be


brought into contrast with foreign nations eX-


cept 10 their own advantage, but believe that


American women are far behind the English in


this, as in some other things. The women Of


society are better educated, more intellectual,


have truer manners and less fashion, than ours


They are ripper women Intellectually as physi-


cally An English woman will not talk as much
| as an American, but she will say more. The
| American woman talks, the English woman con-


0erSeS' She takes keeps 10, discusses her topic.


She does not skim it, but it stirs, and at least
\ Tastes the favor of its depth. There ie deal OF


talking among young women. 1t is the special





'and bow the dictionary holds out against such


drain and strain, for which the hours of the day


are all too few, and often the night watches must


be weared. Of conversation, "a real interchange
| of thought, which shows that young woman


really does think,-a genuine development and


discussion of subject, how very little is there


Talk is the light froth The efervescing of daily


trifes conversation is the pure, clear, invigora-


ting draught that lies beneath. To converse
| Shoul0 hp considered no less tt6ne artJ than IN
| dress, and no one can converse whose mind is
not well trained and stored and ripened by
! thought


The power to con verse becomes lireside charm


as much rs q society ornament, while it is felt
| and owned in society Il power which riumphs


over all the accidental advantages of person. |


recall, in all my younger days, how very slight


was the hold that pretty face or graceful
| figure had upon any Young worthy the


name, while the plain girls, with good-n
and free culture, were the most sought not
| specifically admired but thoroughly respected
| and in all the heyday of frolic and nonsense, of


which had my il remember the refreshing


of good sensible girls conversation after the


vapid twadde simpered or shouted from the lips
of the shallow and fashionable. | want to say


to you, young women, that you cannot all be
| handsome, and it is terrible mistake YOU make
! in thinking so much of mere looks, and thinking
I
loves 10 be pleased, but the mind loves to be
| pleased BETTER and it is in the power of any of
you by discipline OF temper and Of mind, to make
| yourselves more respected more valued more
| sought than any OF the crowd men merely in
| idle moments admire but whom only fool
could love or marry. AS pen these words,
think of one of those best knew in my young
manhood, personally in striking contrast with
| the lovely bevy of girls we so constantly met
| fho of nh mi nd do hart he -
| all The young woman has it in her own hands
to be more than admired, only let her resolutely
rescue some good, generous portion of her leisure
after leaving school 10 her own moral and men
tai culture


But the mistakes of education are not yet all
| told. Education is so broad thing that il takes
in lite, and all that are the springs Oft. This
neutral ground, between the girl and the woman,
is rich in demand as in opportunity. Many es-
sental things should now be learned left
learned now, they are never known. In her Or
dinary sphere, which should be the house and
the home, many things are important beside
| books To he good for anything, of any posi-
ble use to herself or nybody else, 10 make a
success, a glory of life and no shame, as single,
as married, as mother, great many overlooked
and despised things are essential. Women may
get to voting one of these days, and into Con-
gress, and may so far swing round the circle as





! that there was once female Pope,-but the
millennium is not to-day, and for this generation
and the next womans sphere and woman's duty
and woman's rights will still be primarily with
in the little, sacred precinct of home, and she
disgraces her sex and desecrates the sacred name
of home who does not do her utmest TO prepare


for on-coming duty and trial, both of which are
as sure as life. Yes know how many of the
sex in those words condemn, women who
have ignored and proved themselves false to all


the Distinguishing characteristics of womanhood
whose lives long series of indolent self-in
dnlgencies; who delegate to domestics the most
sacred duties who regard all household care as
menia, and any real thought about children as
irksome; who think the end of life is, by dress
and show and worship of society and fashion, to
be acknowledged as ladies' while they strip them
selves of every grace and adorning that makes
the glory of woman. How many such one in
stincliyely feels have sold out their souls, their
gay and gaudy trappings adorning charnel-
house, the sepulchre whited, and perhaps rouged,
while within it is full of all manner of deadness
God made for home. That is the great
centre and hope of our civilization, and woman
is the centre and hope OF it. No nation can
long maintain its integrity whose homes are the
shadows of the name ours are so largely coming
to be. Individual character cannot withstand
the influence. Homes must perish when woman
ceases to do her duty in them and by them. |
do not overlook or excuse al all the inhdelity OF
my own sex. The man who allows anything to
take precedence OF bis home is a traitor to what
he has voluntarily pledged himself TO, but in my
soul believe that fashionable houses, cherries
of all wifely and motherly care, where things
are at skies and sevens, except where company
eyes are to be- in which all that is purely wo-
manly only willis, in which sons grow and get
their ideas of woman and of home before they
become husbands, are largely chargeable with
their detection She who never enters The secret
places, and knows nothing of the economies of
the household, will be a WEAKNESS to man,
however she may have accomplishment and grace.
He will soon find bis mistake and see his folly,
and seek to compensate himself elsewhere.-
Young women you expect to have homes
of your own. You know that you do; know
that you do. 1t is no disgrace to you; it is
your honor. The hippant may laugh, but such
is the fact, and God is the author Of it, and by
his laws he turns your very nature that way
Your education is largely with that in view, and
yet the most important item in that education is
overlooked, and you are educated to attract, but
not to hold, TO win, but not to keep. You go in
to married life ignorant of those everyday matters
which are the pivot upon which the home turns.
This ignorance and dread of domestic duty is
largely American. 1t has different causes in
different sections of the country, but everywhere
it is based false notions of respectability. In
the better families, even among the wiser of the
nobility of England, and think in the very
palace of Victoria, young woman is thoroughly
trained in domestic duties. She may not make
her own butter but she will take you TO the
dairy, and explain rythng connected with it,
and prove herself not only capable of directing, |
but, if need be, of doing. She may not do her
milking, but she knows the nature and character |
of her cows, their breeds and habits, and manner
Of feeding, and does not consider it q sign Of |
deicacy to be afraid of them. | shall never for
get the lesson | learned from a most cultivated |
English woman, who proved herself better capa
BILE of buying a horse than the hali-do men |
standug by, from whom also learned more of
the arts and duties Of proper society life, heard
more refined and wise conversation, than from |
any one woman now remember. | believe the |
better English culture OF woman much broader |
and much braver thing than ours, and that |
she will know and do many things which n this |
republican America considered improper or |
indelicate, simply because they are useful, and |
very narrow sentiment. And to pay her for it, |
the English woman of position and culture, who |
always dresses for her occupation, and is not |
afraid of thick shoes and calico, is robust and |
courageous and self-possessed. In the best socie-


ty of this country, have known the lady of the |
house cognizant of and attentive to all her duties,
and her daughters brought up to understand and |
to do the essential things, and defy any Que to


have detected the least shadow of want of the
most exquisite refinement in them 1t is a great |
mistake to suppose that the truly respectable and |
cultivated look down unon or neglect domestic |