smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1873

An editor in Iowa recently advertised
that he "would take good dog in pay,
ment Of one years subscription for his
paper. The next day forty-three dog.
were sent to the Office. The day after,
wards, when the news had spread out
into the country, four hundred farmers
sent two dogs apiece by express, with
eight baskets full of puppies, all marked
c. o. ID. In the meantime the offer
found its way into the neighboring State,
and before the end Of the week there
were eight thousand dogs, tied up with
rope, in the editors front and back
yards The assortment included all the
kinds from bloodhounds down to poodles.
A few hundred broke loose and swarmed
on the stairways and howled, and had
fights, and sniiled under the crack of the
door as if they were hungry for some
editor. And the editor climbed ou; of
the window, up the water-spout, and out
on the comb of the roof, and wept
There was no issue of the paper for six
days, and the only way the friends of
the eminent journalist could feed him
was by sending lunch up to him in bal
looms. At last somebody thought of a
barrel of arsenic and three tons of beef,
and poisoned the dogs, and the editor
came down only to find on his desk a
bill from the Mayor for eight thousand
dollan-being the municipal tax on
dogs at one dollar per head.
Year: 1873

There can be no apology for owners Of
land who fail to plant fruit trees. Every
iruit-tree planted adds twenty times its
cost to the value of the farm if in any
event the owner or his heir has reason to
sell the same, this truth will then be
fully realized. Fruit is now becoming
in many quarters large source of profit,
and if the finer qualities are produced,
and attention is paid to the proper vari-
eties and the times and seasons for their
ripening and gathering, there can be no
more profitable crop raised.
Year: 1873

Ifa man of business wishes to get rid
Of dyspepsia, he must give his Train and
stomach less to do. IL will be of no par
iicular service to him TO follow any par
ticular regimen--to live on chaf bread,
or any such stuff, to weigh his food, &c.
so long as the brain is in a state of
constant excitement. Let that have the
proper rest, and the stomach will per-
form its function. But il he pass four
teen or fifteen hours a day in his Office
or counting-house. and take 10 exercise,
his stomach will inevitably become para
lyzed, and if he puts nothing into it but
a biscuit day, il will not digest ii.
Year: 1873

Fling not thylbootjack at the warblin,
feline lest he laugh at thine anger, ant
there lie none to fetch thy bootjack unit
thee again.


Beware Of dogs and tickle not the pal
ate Of the war-horse with thy finger, les
thou fall upon evil ways and have thu
hydrophobia and the epizootic.
Y -Four aces shall win the pot. o.,


Listen not TO the voice of the snap
ping turtle and walk not abroad when
elephants do fly, lest thy feet should be
caught in snare and the flying elephant
should put an head on thee.


When thou drinkest the whisky OF
Porkopolis set thine house in order, for
thou shalt be gathered unto thy fathers.


Straddle not the blind when thou
holdest nought save two duces, lest thine
adversary hold trays and grab thy spon.
dulix.


If thy soul longcth for Mary Ann,
see that thou tell her of it quickly, Sc
she may reject thee and thou mayest be
happy.


Nourish thy mother-in-law and feed
her upon prussic acid, and thou shalt
reap thy reward in due season.


BE good to thyself, for if thou art not,
then who will care for theeS


If thou wouldst be wise, put much
spectacles upon thy nose and part thy
hair in the middle, for brains will come
to thee like a thief in the night and they
shall not lack for brass.


If thou be wealthy, go West, and
when thou hast joined the Young Mems
Christian Association they will send thee
to Congress and thou shalt have much
Credit Mobilier.


When thou seest blood on the face Of
the moon, furbish up thy derringers and
go slow lest thou run against snag.


Take to thyself wife--carly and
often.


The wag of dogs tail indicateth
which way the wind blows, but the wag
Of fools tongue indicateth nothing.


When thou eatest fish on Friday, take
care that the bones thereof stick not in

thy throat.


When thou hast dined upon nitro
glycerine, let no man persuade thee to
sup on sledge-hammers.


When a man boasteth to thee Of his
honesty, lead not thy left bower for his
ace, for he hath the right bower in the
sleeve of his argument.


Be virtuous and thou shalt be happy.


The odd trick counteth one.
Year: 1873

ONE of the Ohio papers tells about .
brave little boy who found broken rail
on the railroad track, and, perceiving
the peril in which the train should be
placed if they should come dashing past
without warning, sat oat on the fence
for FIVE long hours IN the bitter winter
cold, in order that he might esny the
first news of The aochlessto 70 b Ann.
who is a local editor of a p1fer pub.
lished in the neighboring village. Such
fidelity in child is deeply affecting.
The story reminds US Of the reporter in
Omaha, who trained his little son 70
make bets with his young companions
that they were afraid to go home and
build bonfire in the garget. And when
the bet was accepted, the guileless'infant
would stuff the other babes pockets with
matches, watch him 20 iato the house.
and then make bee-line for the report
er's Office. That eminent journalist wa,
always iist at fires, and he invariably
had the fullest pariiculars- .fs-
Year: 1873

In the course Of some very wise and
earnest remarks on the subject of the
large railroad corporations of our coun-
try, the other day, Rev. Henry Ward
Beecher said.


"You stand in the city of New York
to day and look Southwark, and you shall
see that great corporation, the Pennsyl-
vania road, with capital now, directly
and through its connecting branches, Of
hundreds and hundredsof millions of dol
lars; and you look little further to the
North and see the Erie railroad, with .
capital Of hundreds of millions of dollars;
still further to the North you see the
New York Central, with capital Of
hundreds Of millions of dollars. Now,
let there come up question Of national
politics, which touches the railway inter.
ests, so that these great roads join their
hands and their capital, what power is
there on this continent that could for
moment resist themg We have q dis
guised depot among us. We have .
tyrant that is more tyranical in possibil-
ity in the future than ever slavery was.
SLAYER is dead, but Mammon in its place
to-day, and there IS no Legislature that
exists on this continent that could not b
crushed or bought by the combination Of
such vast treasures as are held in the
hands Of only three central roads,
Year: 1873

Says the Lexington Gazette: "An
lrshman by the name Of Graham, a
groom at Woodburn, was killed instantly
few days since in most singular man
ner. He was riding the celebrated stall
lion, Planet, for exercise, near where one
of the farm hands was cutting down a
tree, and was cautioned to get out Of the
way. but replied that he knew how to
take care of himself. The words were
hardly out of his mouth before the tree
was upon him. His skull was fractured
and his neck broken; but strange to say
the horse did not receive scratch. Gra-
ham was good hand about horses, and
ordinarily was perfectly trustworthy"
Year: 1873

According to the Greenville hdepend-
ent there is a man living in that county
who has been a member of a church for
forty years, who never subscribed for a
newspaper, and boasts that he never gave
but thirty cents during his whole life for
the support of the ministry.
Year: 1873

liz one Of the plays now popular
with theater goers man Is hung Tor
fun. The other night the gearing got
out OF order aud they came near hang
ing him for good. When they cut him
down he said he guessed they had bet
ter get some one else to take is'placc.-
as "his neck was not talented enough
to play that part" VI
Year: 1873

A CERTAIN gentleman Of this county
had . daughter who married. A short
time after she was taken sick, and her
father being in town one day was asked
by lady here: Your daughter is
convalescent, | learn" The father.
who has an aversion to any word OF


more than one sy liable, responded with
q twinkle Of the eye: ''Oh. no, faint
time for that yet; 'tsint that"
Year: 1873

announced the fact that he was seven
years old. "Just think, mother, last Sab
bath was seven years old, and next birth.
day | shall be eight. That will not be long
will it. mother?" And as he stood by my
side with one arm about my neck and told
me of all his little pleasures and troubles
during the week that had passed, Won
dered if the time would ever come when
my boy would think it was not worth
while to contide his heart thoughts to his
mother. And thought, g If the time does
come, l shall feel that have lost one Of
the dearest privileges of my life" 4


1t is hard to realize that our children
are no longer little ones at our feet, butsit
is harder still to feel that they have groV,
beyond our confidence. And [ dos1at
think it absolutely necessary that they
should, if we could only understand the
right way to retain that confidence.


have seen mothers with sons six inches
taller than they, and yet those sons rever-
encing and trusting their mother with a
devotion that was touching and beautiful.
May We not all retain that confidence and
exercise that influence? | feel that we
may if we only pursue the right course.
But we are in danger of erring in judg-
ment as to the manner of doing it. Too
much restraint will not. Who will show
US the golden mean ?-Central A.irocate
Year: 1873

himself from falling only by the very
greatest exertion.


Still he kept on, though it seemed mad
ness to hope, for his pursuers had gained
on him fearfully; he knew it by the beat
ing Of their footsteps, but with energies
inspired by mortal terror, he ran on, hop
ing to gain only the brow of the hill, for
there the ground became more open, and
his own cabin was but few yards beyond.
He felt sure his pursuers would not fol-
low him beyond the summit, but could ne
reach it before they would close upon him ?
No, not by his own exertlons, for just
as the thought passed through bis mind
his foot caught under gnarled root that
extended across the way, and he fell
heavily forward his head struck the
frozen ground and he lay senseless.


When Peter recovered consciousness he
found himself hanging over the shoulders
of his brother John, and about to enter
bis own door. Here he soon collected his
scattered senses, and was able to listen
intelligently to his brothers account of the
rescue.


Uncle Tom Barry, in his flight, had
stopped at the cabin long enough to shout
through the window that the wolves were
out, and hurried on. John, who lived
with his brother, knowing that Peter
must come the same path, took his gun
and walked out to the edge of the forest,
where he halted to listen. But a short
time elapsed before he heard the sound
of pursued and pursuers, and rushing
down the hill be arrived upon the scene
Just in time to leap between Peters pros
trate form and the wolves, the foremost
of whom was less than ten feet distant
Taking steady aim he sent bullet into
the creatures brain, and then, while the
pack were fighting over the dead body of
their comrade he slung Peter on his back,
and gained the open ground in safety.


Peter frankly told the whole truth
about the affair from beginning to end,
and concluded the story with an emphatic
assertion that as long as he lived he would
never be guilty of another practical joke,
a vow he faithfully kept.
Year: 1873

Not sound was heard on the silent street.
AS home from the party we hurried;
For we found not street car, carriage OF 'bui
And we felt considerably worried.


We hailed Il driver we used to know
And hurriedly asked the reason;
And he said, as he sadly shook his head,
That the horses were all II sneasin'.
And SC we silently went our way
To the place where we kept our filly;
We found her weeping at eyes and nose,
And shaking as though twas chilly.
In vain we offered her tempting oats,
And bran mash warm and smoking;
She turned her head at the fragrant bait,
And swallowed as if she was choking.
We shook down a bed of fresh new hay,
With new bag of corn for bolster;
And we gazed at the saddle overhead,
With its shining stirrups and holster.
We thought as we looked in the glazing eye,
That her troubles would soon be over;
Never more would she crop the fragrant grass
Or Craze on the crimson clover.
Slowly we turned from the stable door,
With hearts that were sadly beating
And when we went in the early morn
We found her quietly eating.
Year: 1873

An ODD FIsu.-Among lot of fish
shipped few days ago from Mobile to
George and Dan, the hotel restaurateurs
Of this city, was rare specimen OF the
fnny tribe whose description and history
are not generally known. The fish is
called the cheralli, is Of very singular
form, is known only in Charleston harbor
and in certain localities upon the Gulf
coast, and is said to be the richest and
most pa latable fish known 10 the fish
eating world, The average cheralll
measures about seven inches from the tip
of his nose to the end OF his tail, and is
about five inches broad, having long sharp
fms, one upon each side, two near the
back close to the tail, and long and
singuIarly shaped tail frs The most
peculiar feature of all is the shape of the
head, the front of which is almost
perpendicular from the mouth, which is
on line with the belly, and the crown of
the head is nearly on a line with the
spinal column. Mr.. John 7. Morton
having overhauled all his books Of natural
history, and falling to find description Of
the fish, employed Mr., Henry Barr TO
make sketch Of this specimen, and an
illustration Of the new creature will
doubtless soon be exhibited to the world.
\ copy of the drawing has also been
framed aud hung up in therestaurant, and
is regarded as quite a curiosity. The fish
itself was cooked and served on the plate
of patron Of the house yesterday as a
surprise treat. One cherall is considered
sufficient for an ordinary meal, provided
the eater is not gormandizer or an ex-
tremely hungry person, and the usual
price for single fish in the native market
is oily s. 0.-LouiSr,He Courier Jar
nal
Year: 1873

THE GREGoRIAN CALENDAR.-To restore
the civil year to a correspondence with
the astronomical, Gregory XIII, ordered
that the 9th of October, 1882, should be
called the 18th. To prevent the intrusion
of the same errors in the measurement of
time in future ages, and TO secure the re-
currence of the festivals of the church at
the same period of the year, be further
decreed that every year whose number is
not divided by four should consist of three
hundred and sixty-fve days; every
year which is so divisiblc, but not
divisble by one hundred, of three hunderd
and sixty-six days; every year divisible
by one hundred, but not by four hundred
of three hundred and sixtY-six. A more
perfect correspondence of the civil and
astronomical gears will probably never be
obtained. After the lapse Of four thousand
two hundred and thirty seven years the er-
ror will be less than one day. In the
preparation of this rule every source of
disagreement is estimated, and as far as
possible corrected. The allowance of an
extra day every fourth year is indeed
small excess; but this is not allowed to ac-
cumulate, for at the commencement of
every century the centennial year is not
to consist of three hundred and sixty-six
days, or in other words, is not to be count
ed leap-year, unless its number can be
divided Icy four hundred. Thus the year
1860 was leap-year, and the year 1000
will be the same; but the years 100 and
1900 contained, and the year 1900 will
contain only 365 days.
Year: 1873

An AWFUL LONESOME Man IN CALI
FoBNIA,-In the shanty which, in Caifor
MAS early days did duty as office for the
banking, postal and express business Of
Wells, Fargo n Co., in Marysville, there
sat, one Saturday evening, a misanthropic
and detected looking individual, whose
long and unkempt hair and beard cowhide
boots and rough dress bespoke the miner,
For over an hour he sat there the picture
of despair, with not q word or look for
any one present Miners came, left their
dust took their coin in return, and ex-
changed greetings with all present save
the one morose man whose apathy nothing
it seemed, could disturb. Finally there
entered u young miner with a beamlng
face, who, after completing mis- business at
the counter, turned to the agent in charge
and remarked that on the previous Satur-
day he had some dealings with the bank,
aud thought that some mistake had been
made in his account.


'.Guess not said the agent. '' Our
cash was all right and | reckon we keep
our books pretty straight"


But upon the request OF the miner that
the account should be examined. the ac-
count was looked at, and it was found that
through clerical error. the miner had
been paid just $50 too much.


" That's just what ] make it, said the
latter, " and here's your money With
this he threw down the gold and received
the thanks Of the agent.


While this conversation was in progress,
the mlsanthropic miner had preserved his
look of utter indifference; but. when he
saw the money actually returned, his face
frightened up, he rose slowly, walked to-
ward the honest miner with slow and SOL
emn step, and said


" Young man, don't you feel awful lone
some in this country p
Year: 1873

The Danbury Ne'cs tells the following
story of the sad consequences of boyish
mischief


A rather contemplate trick was played
on one of our young clerks Sunday night.
He bought a cut-glass bottle of cologne,
with glass stopper and pink ribbon, to
present to the young lady he is keeping
company with, but on reaching the house
he felt little embarrassed for fear there
were members Of the family present, and
so left the beautiful gift on the stoop and
passed it, The movement was perceived
by graceless brother of the young lady
who appropriated the cologne for his own
use, and reflled the bottle with hartshorn
from the family jar, and then hung round
to observe the result. In little while the
young man slipped cut on the stoop, and
securing the splendid gift slipped back
again into the parlor, where, with few
appropriate words, he pressed 1t upon the
blushing gin! Like the good aud faithful
daughter that she was, she at once hurried
into the presence Of her mother, and the
old lady was charmed. They didn't put
UP scent stuff like that when she was
girl it was kept in china tea cup, and it
was kept together by samples OF al the
family's hair. But she was very much
pleased with it. She drew out the stopper,
laid the beautiful pestals Of her nostrils
over the aperture, and fetched pull at
the contents that fairly made them bubble.
Then she laid the bottle down, and picked
up a brass-mounted fre-shovel instead,
and said she, as soon as she could say any
thing Where is that sinking brat?'' and
he, all unconscious of what had happened,
was in front of the mirror adjusting a
necktie and smiling at himself And here
she found him, and said to him, "Oh, you
are laughing at the trick of an old woman,
are you, you wall-eyed leper." And then
she has;cd him on the ear. And he, be-
ing by nature more elegant with his legs
than his tongue, hastened from there,
bowling like mad and accompanied to the
gate by that brass mounted shovel. He says
be would give everything On earth if he
could shake off the impression that mis-
take had been made,
Year: 1873

UNDER-C CLOTHING FOR COLD WEATHER.
i have written on this subject before.
but there seems to be need of precept upon
precept. OF late | have seen better ways
than [ knew before For children of three
years and over there Is nothing better,
perhaps, than an uDder-garment clothing
the body from the neck and wrists to the
heels, much like the mig ght-drawers children
wear. They may be made with plain,
easy, high necked waist, with a long,
straight sleeves, and with open drawers
sewed to the waist. The drawers should
be rather full at the top, but small enough
at the lower part of the leg to 60 inside
the stocking, reaching to the heel, or
leaving no gap above the shoe, " Doctors
disagree " about the material of this I'd
der-garment, some recommending woolen
and some cotton. Taking into account
the difficulty of washing woolen without
shrinking it, and the disagreeable sensa-
ton many skins experience in wearing it.
probably the best way in most cases is
to have this under garment made either of
cotton flannel CT of thin cotton-c cloth, with
a similar garment of warm woolen ma
terial over it. Buttons at the waist sup
port the under-clothing There are many
sensible ladies in these United States now
wearing under-garments similar TO those
Just described. Among them the prefer
ence is usually given to thin cotton mate
rial for the suit next the body, with a suit
made of wooden white flannel, gray la
dies cloth, or red fremen's fannel in the
same fashion worn over the Gotten suit in
winter weather. With two such wooden
suits for frequent changes, to give oppor-
tunity for thorough airing and summing of
the woolens, they require very little wash
ing. The Gotten next the body takes up
the perspiration, etc., and this gets the
good weekly washing The wooden suit
when taken off weekly for change need
only be exposed to pure air and sunlight
for a day or two to purify it properly,
washing it only when it visibly requires
it. If men wear cotton under their wool
en- shirts, the wooden may be treated
IN the same way, and men who are not
engaged in dirty work can wear their
wooden shirts all winter with very little
washing, purifying them by air and sun
shine each week when changes are made.
Ladies cloth shirts shrink less than com
mon fannel.-Faith Rochester IN Ameri
can AgricuLturist.
Year: 1873

AS rummaged through the garret,


Lst,ning to the falling rain,
As it battered on the shingles,


And against the window pane,
Peep1ng over chests and boxes.


Which with dust were thickly srread,
1 saw in the farthest corner


What was once my trundle-bed.
And I drew # from the recess


Where it had remained so long,
Hearing all the while the music


OF my mothers voice in song
AS she sung her sweetest accents,


What since have often read
Hush, my dear, lie still and slumber,


Holy angels guard thy bed"
As listened, recollections


That thought had been forgot
Came with all the gush of memory,


Rushing, thronging to the spot,
As wandered back to childhood,


To those merry days of yore,
When knelt beside my mother,


By this bed upon the floor.
Then it was with hands SO gently


Placed upon my infant head,
That che taught my lips to utter.


Carefully the words she said,
Never can it be forgotten,


Deep are they in memory graver-
Hallowed be Thy name, o FatherI
Father Thou who art in Heaven"
This she taught me; then she told me
OF its import great and deep;
After which learned to utter


Now FAY me down to sleep.n
Then it was with hands uplifted,


And in accents soft and mild,
That my mother asked Our Father"
"Father, do Thou bless my child
Years have passed, and that dear mother
Long has mouldered meath the sod,
And trust her sainted spirit


Revels in the home of God.
But that scene at summer twilight
Never has from memory fed,
And 1t comes with all its freshness
When see my trundle-bed.
Year: 1873

IMPORTANT POSTAL DEUsoN.-The
Postofice Department rules that In the
case of a dissolved partnership where
contention arises as to who is the prop
er person to receive mail matter address
ed to the former business firm or COM
pany, or its officials, Postmaster being
forbidden by one party to deliver to the
other, such Postmaster should require
them to appoint receiver, and retain
all matter until said receiver is appointed.
Year: 1873

Coop NEWS FOR Coop WIvEs.-A bit
of news that ought to irradiate tine work
box, and bring tears of Joy to bachelors
needles, is that device for attaching
buttons to clothing has been invented.
It consists of a screw-driver, and is so
perfect as to be considered property
placed under the head of humanitarian
products. Happy are wives and sisters
if they escape sewing on those dreadful
buttons that have nothing to sew them
on by