Year: 1876

She sat by the window gazing listless,
ly out upon . beautiful sunny landscape
in middle California. She was beauti-
full, and yet not beautiful, for if you
were to take only one feature alone you
could not choose but find at least some
slight fault, and yet taken as a.whole
you would not hesitate to pronounce
her beautiful, and stately as well. Just
now she is somewhat pale and sad, for
her thoughts have unWittingly carried
her back many weary miles to the far
distant land Of her birth. Very sad in
deed were her thoughts on this particu-
lar day, for notwithstanding she had
now . happy home, q kind indulgent
husband, and lovely babes, whose tod
ding little feet made sweetest music for
her willing ears; she had seen many dark
days, aye, years Of SORROW, and try all
she might to see only the present and
hope for the future, there still were
times, as on tEis day, when. fight against
II as she would, she was carried back to
those troublous times, and they stood
out TO her like terrible nightmare; and
one such day was sure TO embitter her
life for q week, and leave her finally
pale and weak, with nerves all unstrung.
But being naturally of q bright, sunny
nature, she would, In few days, recover
from the depression and be her bright,
cheerful self again, until some unwonted
thing should recall again the CALLING
bitterness of the past.


Born in the Eastern part of Ohio, Of
parents who meant, no doubt, to be very
kind to their offspring, but, notwith-
standing their kind Intentions, they
dwarfed and warped the child's nature
until instead Of her being what God in
tended she should be-a happy, bright
and intelligent child-she became, be-
fore she had scarcely entered her teens,
sad and morose, and at times her sad
ness almost reached to madness. At the
age Of thirteen, when she should still
have been happy child, she was at
heart matured woman, and the greater
part Of the time avery discontented one.


But here is her Journal, and as it has
fallen legitimately into my hands, 1 do
not hesitate TO give its contents to the
reader. It may serve to deter other
parents from falling into the same error.
I give her jottings word for word, save
the true names Of individuals:


I" May 21s1, 1861.-I am thirteen to-
day. Ny schoolmates were talking of
the fight Of time yesterday, and won
dering that the years were so short
that they hardly began before the end
was near. How strange, when the year
seems like an eternity TO mel But some
one is calling and 1 must hide my poor
little journal, or IT viii be cast into the
flames as the other one was. / wonder
il il Ia really sinful to read or write lit
lie pleasing stories, as they tell me it is


Sunday night, May 3Oh.-What a
dreadful dreary day this has beenl and
yet out Of doors tho sun shone beautiful
and bright, and the birds sang joyously
and sweetly. felt truly happy when
told that l need not attend church to-
day, and l said in my heart: perhaps,
when my duties are all done. can slip
out unobserved and wander about among
Gods beauties. / did so; but l had
scarcely got fairly seated beneath the
dropping branches of a grand old hem
lock, among the beautiful feathery ferns.
when harsh voice called out to me. or
dering me 10 enter the house again. and
asking In the same breath, II was mot
ashamed to break Gods holy day by
running about, instead Of staying in
door and reading the Bibler wonder
il God placed all these beautiful things
on the earth just to tempt us to do
wrong? Mol I'll never believe it; for
does not the sight Of flowers, trees, and
birds, swell my heart with gratitude to
God, that he has created all things so
gioriously beautiful2


"Ocf. 1sf.-Poor little Journal Did
you think I had quite forgotten you +?