Year: 1873




The Cord Bcadstcad I'm Danbury
IL is little singular why your wife


mother wiz persist IN sleeping on cor,


bedstead. But she does. You don
think so much Of this until you are call
ed upon 10 put il up which event gener
ally takes place in the evening. Tn
bcdstead has been cleaned in the after
noon, and having bces soaked through
with hot water, is now ready for putting
up. Your wife holds the lamp and take
charge Of the conversation. The rop
has been under water several times in th,
course of cleaning, and having swollen Il
a diameter greater than the holes in tn,
rails, has also got into fit of coilinl
up into mysterious and very intricat'
forms. You at first wonder at this, bu
pretty soon wonder ceases TO be virtue
and you then scold. The thread whicl
has been wound around the end Of tn,
rope 70 facilitate its introduction into tn,
holes has come of, and you have to roll
itup again. Then, after you have pull
cd il through eight holes, your wife make
the discovery that you have started
wrong The way that rope comes out Of
those holes again makes your wife gel

closer to the door. Then you try again
and get il tangled in your legs. BY thi,
time you notice that this is the smallest
bedroom in the house, and you call ths
attention of your wife to the fact by OBJ
serving: "Why on earth, don't you open
the door? Do you want to smother me ?
She opens the door and you start again,
and she helps you with the lamp. First
she puts it on the wrong side of the rail,
then she moves it so the heat comes up
from the chimney aud scorchos your
nose. Just as you need il the NEST, you
loose sight of it entirely, and turning
around, find her examining the wall TO
see how that man has put ON the white.
wash. This excites you, brings out the
pirspiration in greater profusion, and
you declare you will kick the bedstead
out doors if she doesn't come around
with that light. Then she comes around
with IL. Finally the cord is laid all
right, and you proceed to execute the
very delicate job of tightening it. This
is done by stepping on the first one and
sinking il down, hanging to the head
board with the clutch of death. Then
you step with the other foot on the next
line, spring that down, loose your bal
lance, grab for the head-boapi, miss it,
knd come down in a heap. This repeat
ed more or less times across the length
Ofthe bed, the only variety being the new
places you bruise. The top cords are
tightened in another way, and you now
proceed to that. You first put one foot
on each rail, which spreads some, and as
you do ii the frightful thought strikes
you that if one Of these feet should slip
over, nothing would prevent you
from being split through the chin. Then
you pull the hrst rope uQtil your eyes
seem to be on the point of rolling out
of their sockets, and the blood in your
veins fairly grOans; and on being con
WINGED that you can'tpull it any further
without crippling yourself for life, you
catch hold Of the next rope and draw
that np-and grunt. Then you move
along to the next, and draw that up,
and grunt again. Just as you have got
to the middle, and commence to think
that you are about through, even If your
joints will never again set as they did
before, you some way or other mis- con
ncctiOn and fnd that you have to go
back and do it all over. Here you pause
for a few minutes Of ocular refreshment,
and then slowly and cdrefully work your
way back. You don't jump down and
walk back, because you are afraid to
in that way again, You sort
of wdddIe back. working the way inch
by inch, and with heommendable patience.
A man thus streched across bed never
beeosnes SO excited US to lose his presence
Of mind. II would be instant death to
him if he did. Then he goes over il
again, waddIing and pulling, groaning
and grunting, while his wife moves
around with the lamp and tells him %
take il easy, and not scratch the bed
stead any more than he can help, and
that she ean't tell which creaks the most
he or the bedstead. And after he gets
through she has the audacity to ask him
70 bring IN the feather beds. In tbs
dad a niphtthaf naan will stead NJ 70
that room aud look at that bedstead and
swear.-DdRbury Na0s.


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