Year: 1870

my nature, but the most wicked wretch
never sees the approach of death, without
thinking of the something that comes
hereafter. No one was less fit than I to
give religious advise, yet asked my dy-
ing brother if he believed in hell, in
heaven, in mercy or salvation, or in any
thing?


There is no mercy for me- said he.


Some of them say there is mercy for
ALL I answered.


so they do, BROTHER he replied-raise
nv head a little, am bleeding like pig;
am shifting blood Il shall soon know
all about it. Perhaps there is mercy for
Ms all: perhaps if we had been always
taught so, these things would not have
been as they are. Our parents never
taught us so. They always spoke OF pre-
destination-of the elect; of hell for the
many; of heaven for the few favorites.
The Lord knows better-better-


He stopped speaking; he turned paler;


he was dying fast. But perhaps he was


right, after all; perhaps the Lord did


know better what was best than he or the


doctors of divinity. AT all events, L was


clad to hear him say so, in these times,


when the Lord is hardly thought smart


enough to mingle in earthly affairs-hard-
ly up to the standard of the steam-engine


and the patent olothes-wringer.
Five minutes after this my eldest breth-


er was dead.


| L don't know why it was that all this


time and through all this firing, We had
attracted no attention. Tommy and L
had pushed out some ways beyond the


designated line; perhaps my brother


Charles had done the same, and that we


met, as it were, on neutral ground how
ever this may be, never did feel more In


need of assistance than just then; but no


assistance came. Weak as L was, L un-


dertook to drag my brother to the bush


where my younger brother lay; tuggeo


away with dreadful energy; very dis


tinctly reccollect how confused and queer
1 felt-what a strange feeling there was
in the back of my head, as though all my


sorrows were gathering there, and strug-
Cling and fighting for the best position.


/ reccollect very distinctly that, at last,


after much tugging and toiling and strain
! ing l got my dead brothers corpse togeth-


er, and tried to lay them side by side, but
could not for the life of me; they would


come wrong hour after hour 1t seemed
to me, / tried to get them right, shifting
them this way and that, turning them


round about till was weary and still they
were alwas oppressively, puzzlingly wrong
, and still the same squirm1ng sensation
continued in the back of my head, varied
now by sharp shooting pains, and a feel
, ing of faintness. All at once the idea
came upon me that there were hundred
corpses in front of me, instead OF two,
. and / was trying to play game Of chec-


uuers with them. How l struggled to
move them hither and thither, and how
utterly abortiye and painful all my ef-
forts were Suddenly the corpses began to
:. dance and my head began to dance, and
there came a confused idea that L was ly-
ing on my back and could not get up, and
, all at once all the light went out, and hor-
rible darkness came.


When the fever left me, and the light,
: flickering, uncertain, unsteady ana ollho-
. inc came back, 1 found myself in the
! hospital at Alexandria. Little by little,
, as my strength returned, they told me the
news. Ny brothers body had been sent
: home to New Hampshire; the shock had


killed my mother had no one but
sister left. The rebel had been buried on
the field.


But had won something-something
/ to compensate me for. all this. l had
achieved glory / had been an item in the
war correspondence of dozen papers. Per-
r haps you know, sir, show weary, stale and
= Improbable" is the praise of men when
e the heart is scared and numbed with ex-
traordinsry griefs. You can imagine my
| indifference and their surprise at nay in
: difference, when they showed me the
, glowing extracts which spoke of my IN
: trepidity. Intrepidityl l had displayed
none. Only revengeful disposition had
, made me desperate.


But, believing then, as L believe now,
that reputation is oftener the result of ac-
cident, chance, circumstance. than of abil-
; ity or courage, I accepted the commission
they offered me, and kept it till l lost my


leg, when, my sister having died of con-
2 sumption, and being left entirely alone in
the world, 1 came out here to these Min
: nesotian wilds and took this claim. / Jog,
? along, sir, in humdrum sort of a way.
When l grow old l suppose they will call
, me hermit. Some day they will miss
, me, and perhaps some of them will put
: me under the sod for the sake of what l
> have got.