Year: 1873




Bad!" cried he. at was meaner
than eating fried coon. first thought
ia go straight home, but then l con
cluded that wouldn't spite nobody, so l
concluded to stay and see if I could not
get satisfaction out of somebody. You
know Pm the i II to get myself or
else into a scrape when take
q notion, and I'd taken one that night
that went all over me like q third day
chill, so | commenced a study'n out
some plan. [ recOllected hearing the
doctor say that where he came from,
but the Lord only knows where that
was, the bride and groom always washed
their faces together before they went
to bed, as charm against infdelity, or
1mbeclllty, or some other long word.
While | was studyin' about that, I spied
the doctors saddle-bags setting in the
corner, so | waited till they went in to
supper, and then [ got the bags and
looked to see what | could discover.
Nearly the first thing I saw was stick
OF lunar caustic., l slipped it into my
pocket for had my plan as soon as |
saw one of the girls go to the pail with
the pitcher, so | went out and asked her
what she was going to do with it. She
said she was going to carry. it to the
room for the doctor and Polly to wash
their faces in. kept talking to her
while she was filing the pitcher, and
when she turned her head. I dropped
the caustic into it. It was then about
bedtime, and l got my hat and put out,
but | couldn't help laughing all the
way home, whenever I'd think about
it next morning.


"Well, Squire, they do say that when
that couple walked up the next morning
they both had the hardest kind Of fits,
each one thinking they had been sleep
ing with a niger Oh, it was rich
He cussin' and tearin' up things, and
she a screamin' and faintain' and comm
to, and gOin' off again, and me not
there to see it. They made such ras-
Cally racket that the folks broke into
the room to see what was the matter,
and there they was with their faces and
hands as black as the inside of stove
pipe. I'd give half my interest in
t'other world Just to have been at some
safe place where l could have seen the
row. As soon as they found that they
night before, they called for warm
water and soap, but just here the doc
tor happened to think about the pitcher
and took it to the door to see what was
the matter. There was little piece of
caustic that had not dissolved, and as
he saw it he says:


It's no use washing, Polly. All the
soap in New York city cant wash, that
black off,


That wasgthe truth, Squire. Soap and
water had no more effect than it would
on native born African, and all the
chance was to wait and let it wear off.
How long it took them to get white
again [ never found out, but one thing
[ do know" he concluded, getting up to
go out, "the next time saw the doctor
I had the hardest fight, and came the
highest getting whaled that [ ever did
in all my born days"


Ess AND EssEs.-" Soyou havefnished
your studies at the seminaTyg [ was
much pleased with the closing exercises.
The author of that pOem-Miss White,
think you called her-bids fair to be-
come known as q poet"


eve think the authOress will become
celebrated as p0etess," remarked the
young lady pertly, with marked empha-
ses on two words of the sentence.


"Oh, ahw replied the old gentleman,
looking thOughtfully over his gold
spectacles at the young lady. II hear
his sister was quite an actress, and un-
der Miss HOsmer's instruction will un-
doubtedly become quite sculptOress." :"


The young lady appeared iIritated.


"The seminary" continued the old
gentleman, with imperturbable gravity,
sis fortunate in having an efficient
board of manageresses. From the
presidentess down to the humblest tea
cheress unusual talent is shown. There
is Miss Harper, who is q cbemistress, is
unequaled, and Mrs. Knowles has al
ready a reputation as an ASTRONOMERS.
And in the department of music few
can equal Miss Kellogg as a singeress."


The young lady did not appear to
like the chair she was sitting on. She
took the sofa at the other end of the
room.


eyes," continued the old gentleman,
as if talking to himself, "those White
sisters are very talented. Mary, I un-
derstand, has turned her attention to
painting and the drama, and will sure
| ly become famous as an actress and
painteress, and even as a lecturess7-
A loud slamming of the door caused
the old gentleman to look up, and the
criticess and grammarianess was gone


Warren county, North Carolina, has a
case of Young-lady-of- -Gloster. The
Raleigh News says: "A considerable
excitement prevailed in the neighbor-
hood of the Raleigh and CASTOR rail-
road depot yesterday evening, by the
appearance in that locality Of an ex-
asperated father in search of his daugh-
| ter, who had elOped from his house the
day before with a negro man. The
whereabouts Of the lost daughter was
soon obtained, and the parent, accom-
panied by a stout young man, made a
descent upon the house. The negro,
seeing and recognizing the party, made
good his escape, but the young lady was
secured. The party left on the accom-
modation train last night for Manson,
Warren county, the nearest depot of
the unhappy father. At the request of
friends we withhold the name of the
young lady. We know the father to be
q respectable citizen of good standing
in his neighborhOod, and deeply
sympathize with his sad misfortune.
old and said to be remarkably beautiful,
and the negro she became enamored
with is particularly ill-favored, rusty,
and generally repulsive."


COUNTING CosT.-A farmer, on COM
mencing operations, should sit down
and count the cost, whether his capital
is sufficient for his undertaking. He
should consider the requirements to
success, such as drainage, culture of
varied crops, proper selection of farm
stock, providing suitable shelter and
accommodation for the stock, husband
ing and judieious application Of ma
nure, selection of best qualities and


varieties of seed, and the most suitable


time and season for planting, ETC., and


also the adoption of the most suitable