smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1876

There's rule with the printers, when type they ar.
g sticking


That is often repeated, the trade to advance
Giving speed, when applied, to the musical clicking
| OF the letters and points in their magical dance.
| AND the rule it is this, Jot it down in your creed
Never make false motion if YOU wish TO succecd
Ii the gaining of wealth is your earnest intention
have an eye ON the cheats never buy to be sold:
Lay up slowly and sure, it will make detention
IL you PICK up the dross in the place of the gold;
Let the rule of the printers be ever your creed
Never make false motion if you wish to succeed +,
In the books of the age do you hope to be finding


Inc wisdom OF seers or the thoughts of the muse
1t is well, but remember the gold-tmseled binding


Oft covers the worthless-to read it refuse;
Let the words be of gold on the pages you read


Never make false motion if you would succeed u
In the choice of your life ever act with discretion


Pressing on in the pathway that nature designed:
For you each have " call be it trade or profession
ana success VIII attend when that mission YOU find
For the rule still applies of its precepts take heed
" Never make false motion if you would succeed So
If the syren of pleasure doth whisperinviting


That the wild oats of youth must be sown if YOU


win"


utn away ifoA Aer counsel, q frost ever blighting
WIN come as you gather the pleasures of sin.


AS ye SOW shall ye reap" take the rule your creed
Never make false motion if you would succeed. ~
In the journey before you there's no time for delaying
Every moments mint that is coming your life;
Then be sure before action your conscience obeying
And you'll rise as you conquer amid the worlds


strife
And this rule you will bless the best in your creed
"Nevcr make false motion if you would succeed.


SHERMAN D. RICHARDSON
Year: 1876

How WILLIS WAS TURNED OUT OF
CHURcH.-Apropos getting out ofchurch,
DR.. Edward Beecher tells this story of N.
P.zWillis and the Park Street Church, Bos-
ton: During a revival at Andover, while
laboring under great excitement, Willis be-
lieved that he had become Christian and
joined the church. After few months he
came to the speaker and told him that he
had made mistake, and asked him if he
could not be let out of the church. The
speaker told him he would do what he
could. He laid the case before the church,
but found they were held strictly by the
usage-letter, death or communication
and the speaker told him that If he wanted
to leave the church he would have to do
something SO bad that he would have to be
put out. So the poet went to the theatre,
and that was considered bad enough to ex-
communicate him, and Mr. Willis got his
release.
Year: 1876

DEFINITION OF WIT.-Sometime it lieth
in the past allusion to an old story, or in
seasonable application of trivial saying.
Sometimes it playeth in words and phrases,
taking advantage from the ambiguity of
their sense or the affinity of their sound.
Sometimes it is wrapped in dress of hui
morous expression; sometimes it lurketh
under an odd similitude; sometimes it is
lodged in a sly question, in smart answer,
in quirkish reason, in shrewd imita-
tion, in cunningly diyerting or eleverly re.
torting an objection; sometimes it is couch
ed in in bold scheme of speech, in a tart,
in lusty hyperbole, in startling meta
phor; sometimes it riseth from lucky hit
ting upon what is strange; often ii consist
eth in one knows not what, and springesh
up one can hardly tell how. Itis, in short,
manner Of speaking by which pretty
surprise in conceit or expression doth affect
and amuse the fancy, stirring in it some
wonder and breeding some delight thereto.
Year: 1876

The Centennial handkerchief is three cor
nered.


A friend Of ours knows woman SO cross
eyed that when she weeps tears from her
left eye, they drop on her right cheek.


Said young doctor to lady patient
You must take exercise for your health,
my dear" "All right" said she, "Tn
jump at the first OFFER" They were mar
ried about six months afterward.


Spring MISUNDERSTANDING shortcakes
will this year be cut bias and rather fuller
in the crust than usual. Those in two
shades of saleratus, trimmed with the ma
terial, will be much in vogue.


It is now denied that the widow of Stone
wall jackson nad ner Iurnlture sold for
debt. She is now living in Charlotte, North
Carolina, in comfort, surrounded by her
relatives and large circle of admiring
friends.


Two years ago young man married
girl with such fiery red head that he had
to look at her through smoked glass. But
she is even with him now. Since marriage
his nose has become such bright scarlet
that she uses smoked glass, too.-NorrSs-
toaon Herald.


That was shrewd girl, and not devoid
of sense either, who remarked, when other
girls were making fun Of her short skirts,
and affected to be much shocked at the ex-
hibition thereof at party: eff you'd only
pull up your dresses about the neck, where
they ought to be, they'd be as short as
mine ~ She was not troubled any more by
them.


A Detroit lady purchased jacket at
Woodward avenue store the other day, and
the clerk said he would send it right home
inside of half an hour. In about four hours
package boy appeared with the garment,
and the impatient lady exclaimed; "You
boys are the greatest nuisance in town! I
suppose you stopped to play marbles or
hunt up a lost dogp' "Indeed / didn't"
he replied. "I went up home to change
hats, and ma she had to try ON the jacket
and parade before the glass. Then Katy
put it on to make call, and when she got
back ma was determined to walk over on
Woodward avenue to show it off, and got
here as quick as could. ."-Detroa Free
Press


When lovely woman, touched by folly,


Is panied to find her hair turned gray


What charm shall sooth her melancholy2


What magic drive the i'll away?


Tile only art her age to Danish.


And hide her years from mortal eye,


To make the marks of time to vanish


And do it surely is To dive
Year: 1876




| From the New York Sun.


A sign which extends across the front of


POT Eighth avenue says, "Fat People


Made Lean" Attracted by the novelty of


the announcement, Sun reporter entered


the place and was confronted by cadaver-


GUS young man, who looked as though he


might be specimen of the work done by


the establishment. A fat man, evidently


a customer, was drinking muddy COM


pound. His grimmaces indicated that the
| stuff was nauseous.


| How do you make fat people lean?"


inquired the reporter of the thin young
man.


| We give them vegetable compound
which acts with such efficacy that in some
instances the weight of the person is re-
duced at the rate of one pound a day.
Some persons are so constituted that there
is very strong tendency to the acoumula-
| ton of fat. Where it is greatly in excess
of its normal condition, besides it's discom-
fort i'll the increase of weight, it produces
| shortness Of breath. Our object is to re-
| lieve these afflicted people,


The thin youngs man went on to relate
that hundreds Of people in this city had
| submitted to the treatment. One gentle
man, the proprietor of Broadway restaur-
| ant, weighed three hundred and thirty-five
pounds when he came to the establishment
| for relief. AS he waddled in, his sides
brushed against the sides of the doorway.
An ordinary chair would not hold him, and
| he had to use one extra large enc, or two
of common size. He belonged to the
Fat Mems Association, and few months
treatment compelled him to withdraw from
that society. The wife of Wall street
broker was SO heavy that she could not
bear her weight on her feet, nor rise from
her bed without assistance, and she had to
sit all day long IN large easy chair, made
expressly for her use. She rode to this
establishment in a low phaton, and two
strong men were required to assist her in
alighting, and to help her into the estab-
lishment. A few months of the treatment,
so the young man soberly said, made her
comfortably lean.


The young man also said that persons
being induced to thinness by this method
will not grow fat again. The reporter
asked whether living skeletons for exhibi-
tion might be made by continuance of
the treatment long enough. The young
man said he could not tell, as no test of
that kind had been made, but it was to be
presumed that the remedy would have an
effect as long as it was used.
Year: 1876

LUXURY OF FATIGUE.-Itis is a great pleas
ure to get thoroughly tired. The only way
to fully enjoy rest and sleep is to get tired
first. MANY persons have an idea that
idleness is pleasure. There cannot be a
more erroneous notion. Idle persons enjoy
nothing. A sense of languor haunts them
through the day, and of restlessness
through the night Nor, on the other hand,
does mere physical exercise qualify one
for the highest enjoyment of repose. It is
the happy combination of mental and bod
ily labor, requiring recreation for both
body and mind, which alone qualities one
for the complete realization Of the luxury
of the change TO rest and sleep. And it is
only from such sleep that we awaken
greatly strengthened aud refreshed.
Year: 1876

| am lying at rest in the sanctum tonight
| The place is deserted and still
To my right lie exchanges and manuscripts white,
| To my left are the ink and the quill
Yes, the quill, for my masters old-fashioned ant
| quaint,
| And refuses to write with pen,
! He insists that old Franklin, the editor saint
Used quill and he'll initiate Ben.
love the old fellow-together for years
| We've managed the Farmers Gazette
And although l am old, I'm his favorite shears,
And can crowd the compositors yet.
But my duties are rather too heavy think,
And oftentmes envy the quill,
AS it lazily leans with its nib in the ink


While I'm slashing away with will.
But when | was newt remember it well


Though score of long years have gone by
The heaviest share of the editing fell


On the qulll and think with sigh
OF the days when I'd scissor an extract or two


From neighboring editors leader
Then laugh in my sleeve at the quill as it flew


In behalf of the general reader.
am being paid off for my merriment then,


For my master is wrinkled and gray,
And seldom lays hold of his primitive pen


Except when he wishes to say:
" We needing some money to run this machine,


And subscribers will please to remit;
Or. thai last load of wood Jones brought US was


green,


And SO knotty it couldn't be split"
He is nervous and deaf and is getting quite blind


Though he hates to acknowledge the latter)
And I'm sorry to say it's puzzle to find


Head or tail to the most of his Imatter.
rc,nlor


The result of luckess endeavor,
But the darling old rascal just lays it to me,


And make no remonstrance whateyer.
Yes, shoulder the blame-very little l care


For the jolly compositors jest,
For think of head with the slvery bair


That will soon, very soon be at rest,
He has abored full long for the true and the goodv


Mid the manifold troubles that irk US,
His only emolument, raiment and food,


And-a pass now and then to the circus.
Heigho from the past comes memory bright


Of lass with the freshness of clover.
Who used me to clip from her tresses, one night,
A memorial lock for her lover.
That dear little lock is still glossy and brown,


But the lass is much older and fatter,
And the youth-he's editor here in the town.
I'm employed On the staff of the latter
1 am lying at rest in the sanctum tonight


The place is deserted and still
The stars are abroad and the moon is in sight
Through the trees on the brow of the hill.
Clouds hurry along in undgnifed haste


And the wind rushes by with a vail
Hello! there's whopping big rat in the pasta
How I'd like to shut down on his tail


--ParnaenGs Ria, In ScTi6ser for Aprtt.~
Year: 1876

The drive wells, which are extensively
used in the South and West, are made as
follows: A piece Of one-quarter inch gas
pipe is perforated with several hundred
holes near the end, which is covered with
a fine brass wire screen, and this i'll turn is
protected by a covering of sheet zinc Or
iron, also perforated. The, extremity of the
pipe is sharpened, Or a steel point may be
fixed, 1t is then driven into the ground,
adding pieces On top as it Sinks in. As soon
as the proper depth is reached, a pump is
attached, and the result is an inexhaustible
well, often giving an abundant supply of
water in half an hour after the end of the
pipe first entered the SOIL
Year: 1876

Sewing ng-machine agents are generally
equal to almost any emergency. One with
a shiny wagon and gilded harness drove
briskly into an Arkansas town, the other
Gay, and saw three men hanging up in the
public square with a lot Of treddles and pat
ent hemmers strewn around under their
feet, and a placard labelled "Sewen' Ma
sheen Men" over their heads ; but for all
that he joined the exultant throng, and
managed before night to make them believe
that his were the only reliable machines
manufactured in the country.
Year: 1876

NJ. De Lesseps holds the following ideas
in regard to q mooted canal to unite the
two oceans across the Central American
free from all impediments, as twenty thous-
and vessels would have to pass through it
every year. The project does not admit Of
tunnels or dams. The canal should be deep
enough for the biggest ships and wide
enough for two to move abreast, with per-
fectly level water track and good ports at
each side of the continent And these con-
ditions are absolutely indispensable for any
canal across the American Isthmus-a canal
which the world would willingly see built
Year: 1876

When lovely woman, touched by folly,
Is panied to find her hair turned gray,
What charm shall sooth her melancholy
What magic drive the i'll away?
Tile only art her age to Danish.


And hide her years from mortal eye,
To make the marks of time to vanish,
And do it surely, is to dye.
Year: 1876

Christ to all whom he can reach, as
freely as the waters of life are given
-"without money and without
price" But he has not sufficient
means to bear the expense Of travel
or to support his family and himself
while giving his whole time to
preaching. For this reason he has
been compelled to accept the free
offerings Of such friends as choose
to give him pecuniary assistance,
and desire and expect nothing in
return but that he should continue
in his work. Many of Mr.. Moody's
converts have thus sent him small
sums of money as friendly gifts,
desiring him to use them to obtain
the comforts Of life while going.
forward in the ministry. A great
part of these gifts comes to him in
closed in anonymous letters, thus
compelling acceptance. During
his stay in this city all his letters,
except those from his own family,
have been opened by the persons
who entertained him as their guest.
Mr.. Moody states that during his
stay in this city he has received
about $500 in this way, and that all
he has ever received from friends
has only placed him in barely COM
Portable circumstances. Said he to
the reporter: 81 have all the
money ] want, if it isn't very much.
/ have just bought a little place to
make a home for my wife and chill
dren; it cost $4,000, and / have been
putting in some repairs which will
cost about as much more; and l
don't think | am ashamed to look
any man in the face and tell him
about it," When it was suggested
that a statement ofsuch facts would
do much to stop all adverse criti-
cism on his mode of working, he
replied that it might have the effect
also to make the people send him
more money than he wanted, and
then some enemies would say he
was bidding for money, Such
charges would not only place him
in most unfortunate light, but
they would also bring discredit on
the religion which he preached.
Year: 1876

~


in Canada on ihe Grand Trunk


Railroad.


The Montreal Witness says: One
of the most daring and villainous
cases of robbery that has lately
taken place occurred Tuesday night
on the Grand Trunk night train
from Toronto to Montreal. Mr.. J.
G. Hurst, of Stratford, relates the
story thus:


"Last night as was coming to
Montreal on the night train, when
a little above Kingston, man came
into the smoking-car dressed like a
Texan granger, with a gray palm
leaf hat and an overcoat buttoned
up close. He had a simple air, and
asked me the distance to Toronto,
and the time of day, l took out
my watch, a gold one, and told him
the hour; asked him if he had
come far; he replied from Chicago.
He said he had been selling cattle,
and had been led into a little spec
ulation there with some of those
sharpers known as three-eard
men, and lost some money by them.
Out Of curiosity, however, he had
purchased three of these cards to
show to his father. Asking me if
| had ever seen the cards, | said,
no, l knew nothing about the
cards. Upon that he took them
out, saying, 4 will show you some
thing Of the way tits done. You
just toss up the cards, and if you
catch a particular card you win the
money; if not, you lose. He said
he had lost in the game, and he was
anxious to show me how he had
done it, but / declined to play. just
then two other men drew nigh.
having the appearance of interested
spectators, and wanted to play q
game. They put down a five dol
lar bill, and he put down a five dol
lar gold piece, but said he did mol
want to gamble, and whoever won
was to return the money. The first
man lost his gold piece and it was
handed back to him. He ther
turned to me and said, What time
is it?' Naturally | pulled out my
watch and told him the time. Al
that instant he made spring ant
grabbed my watch. He pulled thu
guard through the button-hole
tearing the vest, and made off fol
the other car. l started after him
but the other two men pouncet
upon me and endeavored to detait
me. | tore myself away from them
however, and ran after the frs
man, overlook him in the out
side passage of the postoAice cal
where he turned upon me and en-
deayored to throw me over th'
chain guard. l then let 60 my holt
of him and he escaped. Just be
fore he passed into the first car HI
made a sudden movement, and hi
hat and overcoat fell off from him
and he appeared dressed in a fin
suit of black, | followed him int


the first car, and found him seatel
quietly and -uneoncernedly as |
nothing had happened. He foldeF
his arms and feigned to be sleeping 8
| tapped him on the shoulder anf
said, you are the man l want
He raised himself up indignantly


and said, mo, l have nothing t
do with YOU | told him he mus
be the man who took my watcl
and chain. The conductor cam


along, to whom / appealed, but til


man sturdily denied taking it. By
, when the conductor threatened I
I have him arrested he handed ol


the watch. Before we reach9
, Kingston the three men disai


peared, though the train was moY
r ing rapidly all the time"
Year: 1876

New York Times


Superintendent Walling received
a telegram yesterday, which read as
follows: 81 want protection; amob
about my place; send me help. P,
Lowenthal." The signer was well
known as a former policeman, who
was known to the force as "Glass-
putin, I" owing to his alledged bus
mess before he was made a patrol
man, and who now keeps a lamp
store at No. 243 West Twenty.
ninth street. Mr.. Walling at once
telegraphed to the Twentieth pre-
cinct to know what the matter was,
and meantime rumors got abroad
that a great riot was in progress up
town. But in a short time it was
found that the trouble was all over
and that it had been due to an ad.
yertisement in a morning paper,
stating that Mr.. LoWenthal wanted
twenty-five men to go to Philadel,
phia during the Centennial at S1.75
per day; also, a number of women
to work on sewing-machines; and,
also, that he had a frame house I'd
sell. The respondents to these de.
mands who cOngregated before his
house early in the morning made d
small army, and in his dismay he
sent the telegram to Superintendent
Walling, instead of sending it to
the station-house, for protection.
The gathering soon attracted the
attention of the local police, and
before the superintendent had time
to do anything it had been dispers.
ed. 1t is not known who inserted
the bogus advertisement nor tC
what motive it was due, although
it is supposed that it had its origin
either in malice or in a desire tx
perpetrate a practical joke.
Year: 1876

equal of any in its natural resources,
should not lack in appreciation of the
interesting event, or lag in its efforts to
make such an exhibition as will give it
its proper place in the rank of States.
Our efficient Board of State Centennial
Managers have been laboring with great
energy, and are cheerad by the belief
that their efforts have been successful in
creating an interest which will insure
such representation as will be matter
of pride to every citizen of the State
l respectfully recommend that you
grant them such reasonable aid as they
may require, to complete their arrange
ments and secure the success of their
labors


In this connection it may be matter
worthy of consideration whether a Just
appreciation of the benefits secured to
us by the Declaration of Independence,
and the innumerable blessings which
have followed in their train, will not JUS
tify celebration under State auspices at
the State Capital on the coming Fourth
Day of July. 1t seems to me that the
memorable epoch, our Centennial Ami
versary, is worthy of State as well as Nat
ional recognition, especially as the Dec
laration of Independence was a DeClara-
tion of States.


The matter of professional vagrancy is
one worthy of your attention, am well
aware that, owing to :he general paraly-
zation of business, great many honest
and industrious men are out OF employ
ment, and in their efforts to find remu-
nerative labor go from place to place with
honest purpose. But within few years
class of vagrants have grown up in our
midst, who seize the dullness of bueiness
as a pretext to roam over the country
with no purpose except to secure living
by begging of Illicit means. The evil
should be arrested at once. The ques-
ton is a difficult and delicate one.
Honest search for employment must not
be branded as a crime, but yagranCy is a
misdemeanor in itself, which the law
should suppress; commend the mat
ter to your wisdom, believing you will
find its solution.


earnestly Recommend that you pur.
sue steadfastly the path of retrenChment
and that you heed not the influences
which will attempt to lure you into ex'
travagant enterprises. The State needs
no new buildings or additional lands al
this time. Our unfortunates are hui
namely treated, and, after the completion
of the Central Hospital for the Insane
will be amply provided for. In thil
season of business prostration, the peo
pie have right to demand that the pub
lie expenses be cut down aud the taxeI
reduced to the last dollar possible to Sc
cure proper administration Of thu
functions of the State Government.


1 conclude by hoping that your session
may be fraught with great good to th'
people of the State. w. ALLEN


Governor


Columbus, January 8, 1876.
Year: 1876

WHAT OF HIS FUTURR-After Mr..
Grant shall have finished his second
term of Office and retired to the shades
of private life, what comfort will 1t be
70 the people 20 think that for eight
wears that they kept him 10 the PRESS
DENTAL chair ? Alas so far from be-
inc 4 comfort. it will rather be a grief
and a thorn in their side, for, in al
that eight years they can point to moth
ing in his official course Of which they
will have any reason to be proud. On
the contrary, they have been so many
things to condemn,so much TO ceDsure
so many outrages upon law and right,
that the true American citizen feels as
if he would like TO take Euge sponge
and wire out the whole damnsble re-
cord. When the time comes for Grant
to retire, he will not go out OF ONCE
amid the tears and blessings of the
people, regretting that they must part
with him, as Washington did, but
his departure will be hailed with JOY
by all parties, who will experience a
feeling of relief that at last his discred
liable and corrupt administration is at
an end.