Year: 1879




At last went home, tired aud sick Mt
heart; but there was no one to notice was
pale and worn out, no one to get me wine
or soup to revive me, no one to make me
lie down and rest, as he would have done
had he been there. Oh, how l missed
him Was there ever a woman loved and
cared for as | had been? Was there ever
friend so grateful? Twas sure he would
never come back. Why had he gone
away?


And conscience answered, "You drove
him; he gave you all he had to give, and
in return you gave him nothing but cold
looks and unkind words; and so he left
you to seek love and sympathy from his
mother"


This thought almost maddened me. In
fancy | saw her sitting in my place by his
side, loving and caressing him as / had
the best right to love and caress him. l
pictured her receiving tenderly the little
loving acts l had received so coldly, and
how was seized with jealous anger
against her, mentally accused her of
estrangiug my husband from me, and of
trying to win his love from me, as though
his heart was not large enough for both
of u.s.


When Maud arrived in the afternoon
treated her with long TRADE of abuse
against mother-in laws in general and my
own in particular. vented all the anger
! really felt against myself on the innocent
Mrs. Cartwright.


"Why, Nelly" said Maud, IL thought
you liked Mrs. Cartwright so much, and
thought her so nice, that you even wanted
her to live with you, only your husband
very properly, as mamma says, objected" I"


80 did, | answered. "but did not
know then that she would ever entice my
husband away from me in this way, or, Of
course, should never have liked her"


"Really, Nell, you are very hard on the
poor woman; for, as | understand, Mr..
Cartwright went to her of his own free will
because she was not well and he thought
his company would do her good said
Maud.


Nonsense; am sure he would have
never have left me alone, unless she had
put him up to il" | replied, rather Grossly.


"The truth is, Nelly, you are so much
in love with your husband that you are
even jealous of his mother; and you are
making yourself miserable about nothing.
Why, Mr.. Cartwright will be back in a
fortnight, and | dare say you will get a
letter from him every day; so cheer up,
and let us go for drive" said Maud.


agreed to this plan, and giving Maud
the reins, | lay back and thought of her
words. Was she right after all2 Was |
jealous Was | really, as Maud says, in
love with my husbandf Had only found
it out now when | was deprived of his
company Was this the reason that
could do nothing but inwardly reproach
myself for my conduct to him? And the
longer | thought the more convinced |
became that Maud was right, that was
jealous and that | was in love, as she
called it.


This knowledge did not make me hap.
pier, for no sooner knew it than louged
to tell him, and make up, so fast as could
for all of my former cruelty, for could
call my conduct by no milder word.
passed q sleepless night, and as | lay awake
| composed various letters of confession
which resolved to send the following day
but when morning came my pride stepped
in and began to feel it would be impos
sible to write, and settled down and to wait
until my husband came home and then te |
him how his absence had altered me.


got up early and walked out to meet
the postman, SO anxious was to get q
letter from him; it was the first had eyel
received from him since our marriage and
no girl was ever so anxious for or SC
pleased with her first love-letter as wa,
over this.


1t was lopg letter, full of loving mes
sagcs and terms Of endearment, all ol
which cut me to the heart, for they sound
ed like so many reproaches; in reality,
think there was tone of gentle reproach
throughout the letter He gave me al
account of his mothers health, begged me
to write to him few lines every day, but
he said not word about returning.


spent the morning in answering it
much to Maud amusement, who, of course
thought | was pouring out volumes of love
and complaints of my temporary widow.
hood. After tearing up dozen sheets Of
paper / at last sent short note, cool and
with no allusion to my misery. The more
| tried the more impossible found it tC
write any expressions Of love or penitence
though | was hungering to do so.


For whole week | went on in this way
suffering more acutely every day, aud every
day receiving long, loving letters from Mr.
Cartwright, and writing short, cool an
swers.


lost my appetite, could not sleep al
night, and the torture | was enduring
made me look so III that Maud became
frightened and declared she would write
and summon my husband home and tel
him | was pining away for him. | for
bade her doing so so sternly that she dared
not disobey me, for l was determined that
be should never hear from any lips but
mine that at last his hearts desire was at.
tanned, for loved him.


At last, when he had been away ten
days, | could bear it no longer, for should
have brain fever if went on this way, so
! determined to 60 to Melton, where Mrs
Cartwright lived, and see my husband. |
came to this decision one night, aud went
into Maud's room early in the morning To
tell her MY intention. | expected she
would laugh ut me, but Think she guessed
something was wrong for she seemed glad
to hear it and helped me to pack few
things and set OF in time to catch the
morning train.


1t was three hours journey. They
seemed three years to me, for the nearer ]
got to my husband the more inpatient
was to see him. At last We got to Melton,
a largish town OF course as | was not
expected there was o'one to meet me, so
l took fly TO Mrs. Cartwrights house,
where | arrived about three o'clock.


learned afterwards that Andrew was
with his mother in the drawing. room when
| drove up, but thinking was only Wis
itor he escaped into another room, SO |
found my mother-in-law alone


BY her side we're some Of my husbands
socks which she was darning, socks which
| had handed over to the servants to mend
.