Year: 1877

We do not know that all school-ma'ams
in Pope County affect all mankind in that
way Indeed, we rather think we know TT
the contrary quite the opposite antipodal
reverse is the fact, and can swear tot, al
though we never saw any OF them. But,
look now, there is our Cooper, the Glen
wood pedagogue-does he look as though
he had lost any appetite? and is he not the
Pacha of whole bevy of 'em? Yea, yea;
and we've no doubt he loves all of em
some, with holy love,-and one with a
love that is so more than love that he'd
almost like to eat 'er up! But, list now, to
the relation of how one Pope County
school ma am is a destroyer of appetite, in
stead of a promoter thereof


Two solid merchants of Morris-name-
less here, and in nowise described, for we
will not be personal in this organ-one of
them as solid as the other is bald both
of them constituting the Alpha and Omega
of the same firm, m,-these twain sailed out
on business tour, through Pope County.
The roads were rough, the distance long,
and the weather cold; and altogether the
Journey so toilsome that the pangs Of hun
GER so oercame the Alpha of the tourists,
that he fain would have eaten the prodi-
gal sons coveted husks; and he oft did cry
aloud I" I'm as hungry as Wolff" To
which Omega would as often respond: 80
that we had bread instead of only Stoner'


In course of time, the weary pilgrims ar
rived at goodly haven of rest, even at a
place where the very fat of the land yield
ed a dinner fit to set before the King and
the fumes thereof, whilst in preparation,
did so whet the cravings of the falaished
guests that they sang with real Moody and
Sancho fervor, all improvised hymn:


Fly swifter round, ye hired gal,


And bring the welcome potables, edibles and tea


Angels and ministers of grace what is
this sylph-like form, gliding like nymph
unannounced to that banquet hall? causing
the heart of Alpha to oscillate and go pitt
pat with the velocity of a sucking lambs
tail? Be her intents purely earthly, Or doth
she come to call Alpha's heart to celestia
bliss, and transport him with joy, and be
wilder him with such a fiutteration OF eX
element that his appetite evanisheth ever
like thin dew under blazing sun? Is it, d
it real live angel with her wings hiddel
under gauzy dimity? or clipt smack smootl
off at the scapula and omoplata? come t.
lid Alpha, as forty-tWo bad boys did hin
Of old :" go up thou bald head?" VIII.
no you discumbobbolated compound O
dittidence and admiration, it is only Pop
County school-ma'am do eat and be filled
and not act so as though you ale going tt
sprout She s not seraphic at all-she
real meat school-ma'am Of bones, ant
cuticle, and corsets and toe e-nails, and al
the other properties contributing to til
formation of mundane lass


But, twas all in vain, a useless matter
for the plethoric junior member of tina
firm to try to persuade the nude-pated ser
ior to collect himself and MUNICH rations.-
lie seemed bodily estranged from mortalit
and spiritually entranced; and only "
cred full consciousness when five mile
away, taking herb-tea at Norwegian yec
mans hut, when he revived as from lon
swoon, and the very first thing he said was


8 H1at id they say her name is!9"


- 1t is suggested as a matter of domes


tic economy to Harry Wells, that he COZ


trive to inveigle that schoolma'am int


coming to board at his house. Probabl
within week neither one of EN- would e;


as much as healthy mouse.