smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1879

From OnamDers JOurnAI.


Cardinal Richelieu, we are told, spent
his hour of relaxation in leaping over
the furniture, and on one occasion he
was discovered dumping with his servant,
to try which could reach the high side
of a wall. De Grammont, knowing the
cardinal to be jealous of his powers,
offered to jump him for wager-a
proposal which shows the courage, as
much as the event showed the diplomacy,
of the courtier. The offer was accepted, !,
but De Grammont took care that his
leaps should never quite reach those OF
his eminence, and thus he lost few
louis, but gained speedy and high
promotion by the favor of his trium-
phant and gratifed opponent.
Year: 1879

A WITTY chap across the way wants
to know why newspapers are not called
the Moon just as well as Stars and Suns
1t is doubtless because that while the
moon turns on its axis it is without
journals. Logic therefore requires that
since the moon has no journals the
journals shall have no moons. This act
of retaliation was passed unanimously
at the last Editorial Convention.
Year: 1879

st. Louis Republican,


The Atlanta Constitution wants to know
why 80 much Of the army is kept east Of the
Mississippi where it isn't wanted, and so
little out West where it is all the time need
ed. It is not so very hard a conundrum
suppose the political wing Of the war depart
msnt takes guess at 1t,
Year: 1879

young Countess corpse sewn up in a large straw sack and sunk in the river. The seams were found to be in the inte- rior of the sack, proving that Vera Kos cheleff had deliberately sewn herselfup in the sack on the river bank, and then cast herself into the stream. In another letter, addressed to one of her uncles, and received by him some time after her death, she gave as her reason for inclos- ing herself in sack previously to drowning herself, her extreme fear of crawfish and water-beetles. Few strang- CT and more fantastic suicides have been recorded even in Russian annals of self destruction, which are exceptionally rich in grizzly stories of this description.
Year: 1879



 The number of well-educated girls who cannot find husbands has increased and ought to be diminished. The only way in which this can be brought abou, is to do away with the absurdity of par. ents giving their sons more money than their daughters. Girls without portions do not find husbands so readily as girls with portions, and this is no reflection upon men. A sensible man may fall in love with a charming young lady, but before marrying her he asks bimseli whether he can afford it.. In precisely thesame way as person before taking acab asks himselfwhetherhe he has money enough to pay for the fare. If he cannot afford himself the luxury of marrying his portionless love, be, if he be in q .connubial mood, and should he come across girl with money who will have him, marries her. Perhaps at first he regrets his first love. but he soon settles down to his second love if she be nice and pleasant, and these marriages dc rdi- son, in nine cases out of ten, turn out well enough. English people have q mania to die rich. They never like parting with their money until the grave separates them from it. And when they do die they either leave almost every thing to their eldest son, or leave more to their sons than to their daughters. Parents need not strip themselves, like pelicans, to skins, i'll order to give all that they have to their children, but they ought, while they are alive, to do more for them than is the habit with us, and when they die they should take care to provide according to their means for their daughters. 4 woman is far more helpless being than man. If the latter be worth his salt he can without difficulty turn little money into a great deal, b. with woman this is not the case. Give her a small capital, and she has to live on the interest that it brings in, for she has no means to augment 1t. Therefore, if had sons and daughters, 1 should try to overcome my natural sell fishness and give what 1 could to the latter, in order to aid them to pick up good husbands; but many case should by my will leave more 10 my daughters than to my sons. One of the main req sons why girls are not soadvantageously treated as boys in wills is that these documents are generally drawn up by men. If woman has money to leave she seldom heaps 1t all up on one indi' vidual, or favors men at the cost Of those of her own sex, but she fairly apportions her wealth among those of her own re, lations entitled 10 it.
Year: 1879

Cornwallis was not present at the eel ebration of the event ln Yorktown, in

 which he originally figured So promi- nently. He is not living at Yorktown now. He is gone. He ran out of breath. There was pleety of breath in tho world. enough to last him two or three hun dred years, but somehow or other he didn't seem to be able to collar it. His bellows kind of give out. Anyhow, he quit. He knocked of. He went up the iiume. He lived long enough to get
Year: 1879

Here we have in nutshell an illustration
of the difference between Northern and
Southern Democracy--concedin for the
sake ofargument, that the Northern dough-
faces are honest, as Mr.. EWING probably is
But we ask, in view of all the facts, how
Mr. EWING, who pretends to be a loyal
man, and who is justly proud of his war
record, can consort politically with these
avowed Southern secessionists without be-
coming contaminated, or without being
most cmphatically inconsistent? If a man
is to be Judged by the company he keeps
and it is q safe rule-General EWING is no
better than LAMAR, SINGLETON, CHAL-
MERs or the Reporter editor, all of whom
are Democrats and agree with the latter in
the following declaration:


About the only thing Settled" by tho war
in this respect was the fact that the South was
not powerful enough-and never will be-to
make secession successful. The South may be
radical" in her views on the right of seces-
sion, but she has no reason to change them (;
on the contrary, tho history of this untry
since the war has the more strongly confirmed
the views she already had.
Year: 1879

SECRETARY SCHURZ's "ONLY HOPE"


The Wesiiiche Post declares that its "only
hope " now is the defeat of CORNELL in New
York.-S. Louis GloJe Democrat


1t is well known that the IVestiche Post
is owned in part and inspired chiefly in its
political utteranees by Secretary SCHURz.
He sounds the war cry against the Republi-
can party of New York with rebel whoop
and yell, and does so with sufficient haste
and distinctness to reveal his " true inward
"ness" Secretary SCHURz's "only hope"
now is the defeat of CORNELL in New York.
What is the objective point of this hope so
precipitately asserted 1t is simply that
CORNELL shall be defeated and the party
from whose hand SCHURz receives his
daily bread shall be borne down by
disaster in the pivotal State of the con-
test in 1880. The hope of SCHURz now is
that the State of New York may
Democrats may select as their standard
bearer, and that the Nation may be held
under the domination of the Democratic
party, which is controlled by the rebel Brig
adiers. He has declared against GRANT
aud BLAINE, and now sees the "only hope"
worth living for residingin the defeat of the
Republican party of the State of New York,
which would be equivalent to giving the
whole Nation away to its enemies. What
treachery What ingratitude in one who
to-day holds a distinguishing position
under Republican Administration and is
indebted to it for rescuing him from q
fallen aud degraded political estate. His
tory furnishes few parallels to this act of
party disloyalty and insensibility to flvors
and honors, aud we can see no good excuse
for passing it by in silence.


Treachery in the camp of the Union army
on the eve of the capture of Richmond
would have been as tolerable as this act of
betrayal of the Republican party now,
which proclaims to the world that the
"only hope" is TO defeat 1t in the State
of New York. The Republican party will not
we feel confident, be defeated in the En-
pive State but whether it is or not that re-
suit, whatever it may be, cannot ab3Olye
Secretary SCHURZ from the responsibility OF
expressing such a hope. AT least, after
having given utterance to it, he can expect
no favor at the hands of any true Repubh
can, neither should he receive it. The
most meritorious act that the President can
now perform in view Of Secretary scHURz's
treachery is to quietly ask him to "step
down and ouP of Republican Cabinet.
Year: 1879

THE extensive demand of the Syracuse
convention for pathological carrion sug-
gests the idea that in the interest of agri-
cultural economy that body should have
been convened in complaining time. 1t is
certain the present crop Of Crow has been
exhausted.
Year: 1879

IkTHE only regular thing about the regular
Democracy of Massachusetts seems to be the
regularity with which it is frightened every
time BEN BUTLER winks both eyes at once.
This is rather difficult thing for BENJAMIN
to do it is true; but he is dong it with n
vengeance just now-threatening that the
BUTLER Democracy will appeal for admis-
sion into the next Democratic National
Convention.
Year: 1879

Tom EWING has been hauled over the
Goals by the La Grange (Ga.l Reporter for
having declared that there are not "a thous-
sand men in this country who believe in
"the right of secession" The Reporter says,
in contradiction of this declaration, that
"there are as many men as ever in the
"south who believe in SECESSION" and then


goes ON in a plausible way to say that the


"adyisability Of secession is another matter.n
Year: 1879

Both official and unofficial reports from
the Canadian fishing grounds, in the neigh
borhOod of the mouth of the st, Lawrence
represent that our treaty rights are seri-
ously and constantly interiered with by the
Canadians. In fact, the latter seem to think
that the grounds belong 10 them and that
they can exclude therelrom whomsoeyer
they choose, These facts make it apparent
that England did not consult her American
colonists when the Washington treaty was
negotiated and ratified, nor has she since
then informed them of its purport. The
moral Of all this would seem to be that the
fishery clauses Of that Convention should be
abrOgated OF amended-a suggestion which
it is we'll known, was some time age
adopted, and is now being acted upon By
Secretary EVARTs. But the question is
VIII the Canadians pay any more atten.
ton to new treaty obligation than they
do to the one now in existence?
Year: 1879

FOR some months, or since the change
occurred in the management of our evening
cotemporory, the Star it has been publicly
predicted thatit would soon gracefully glide
into politics on the Democratic side. tt
leading editorial yesterday evening on the
New York Democratic State Convention
went far to confirm that prediction. II.
early news from the convention and the
comments thereon were so much at vari
nnce that the numerous readers of that
heretofore neutral journal were led TO won.
der what had happened to bring such q
change over the spirit of its dream. The
Republican portion of its readers are consid.
erably exercised over its present political
attitude. Time will show whether they are
nursing the germs of Democracy in bestOw
ing patronage in that direction
Year: 1879

children in the East, for an old gentle
man sat squat in the middle of the cir
Gle, grinning like an old fool. He hap
pened to catch my eye as [ looked at
him, and l fear he saw a quizzical or
cOntemptuous look on my face, for at
once he keeled over backwards.
and then, rising to his feet, put his
thumb to his nose and twirled his
fingers at me, whereupOn the old ladies
turned around and made faces at me.
saying that l was stuck up thing,
and they wouldn't play with me as long
as they lived" Much l marveled these
ungainly fowls to hear discourse so
plainly, and turned to 90 away only to
find an immensely stout woman of some
90 summers standing behind me with
her finger in her mouth, and saying, as
she put her hand on my shoulder: . Lit
tie boy, 1 likes you. Won't you play
with me? I think oOr real putty In
utter dismay l hastened from the
grounds determined not to remain long
in so dangerous a place, but still the
fascination of the odd was upon me. and
l returned the next day and shall remain
until the camp meeting breaks up. Per-
haps l may be converted and become a
- Peculiar Child " myself. Who can
Year: 1879

HENS are now indulging in summer
sets.


IT is evident that the earth is feminine
from the persistence with which she re-
fuses to tell her age.


THE clock, like a jolly fellow, always


has round Waterloo Observer.
And is a regular beat, always going on
tick.-The People.


EAT oysters only in the months that
have an 'r'' in their names, and drink
whisky only in the months that have a
g ks in their names.-AEbanV Journal.
STUDENT, fresh from college, to con
ductor: g l wish to get on the penul-
innate car" Conductor: - We have no
peanut car; you can take the smoker"
Mutually disgusted.


Don't ever whip your baby boy


Till he's old enough to spank,


Don't force him to the treadmin work,


Till he can turn the crank


Don't attempt to air your knowledge


Till you're old enough to know,


That potatoes don't amount to much


Till they've had time to grow.


He was a disgusted boy. He had eX-
erciSed great caution and had finally
succeeded in crawling, unobserved, un-
der the canvas into the tent. And he
found it was not n circus but a revival
meeting in progress.


WHEN an editor finds that COW has
got into the yard and has eaten off one
leg of his white trousers, which were on
the clOthes-line, he goes to his office and
writes an editorial on " The Gloomy
Outlook"


THE three proudest moments of ~
mans life, between the cradle and the
grave, are when he gets his first pair of
red-tOp boots, when the girls first call
him . Mister,n and when the doctor tells
h -
Is EVERY time a man is seen coming out
of a saloon he gets the credit of having
taken a glass Of rum, though he drank
nothing but lemonade. Better far 90 to
church, as every time man is seen
coming out of a sacred edifice he gets the
credit of being religious, although he
may have been plotting any number of
financial eccentricities all through the
Cincinnati Enquirer.


SMALL girl, very harshly, to her doll
in toy carriage, dolly having tumbled
from the seat: - Sit right up, you hor-
rid old thing. Don't you dare do that
again, or I'll whip YOU Seeing
passer, who had approached unobserved,
she modified her voice and continued in
dulcet tones: "Now sit up straight,
darling, and be careful not to fall and
hurt yourself. ''-LO1CeH HCtiI.


BAsE-BALL definitions: The right
field-the field of duty. A base hit
a blow below the belt. A dead ball
dancing without music. A good catch
one of the Rothschild girls. Put on the
iirst-the man who gets April fooled.
Never reaches his secOnd-the man who
refuses to fight duel. The champion
pitcher that goes often to
and remains albany
EUeHillg journal.


THEY had an amateur brass band at
funeral while ago, and when they had
squelched out the - Sweet By-and-By "
at the graye-side, the minister in his add
dress said that ''the deceased was in
one respect most fortunate in being
called thus early" That was all he
said, but the mOurners grinned, and the
is Internally out of place at a funeral,
Won know -
Year: 1879

board or piece of thick paste-board,
which should extend sufficiently beyond
the margin of the picture to support the
frame. The plated or shirred muslin is
then fastened by tiny tacks to the board,
and large bow of ribbon is placed in
each corner. The wired frame should
bulge outward at the center, and the
plated frame may be left perfectly fiat,
or the opposite ends of the plaits may
be caught together with charming eff
feet.


A PRETTY ORNAMENT.


A goblet, from which the shank has
been broken, may be utilized in the fol
lowing pretty way 1t must be first con-
cealed in a crocheted or knitted cover
of some bright-colored wOrsted, and sus-
pended by picture-wire from the center
of the ceiling or window. 1t is then
filed with water, in which may be
placed myrtle, wandering Jew, sweet
potato, or any two or three vines that
viii grow in water. If climbing and
trailing vines are both used, the climber
may be trained up along the suspension
wire, while the other will drOOp prettily
over the sides. The water must be re-
newed at least weekly, if the room be
any way warm.


FERNERY.


The crowning ornament of all is the
fireplace fernery. 1t is very simply and
cheaply made, and yet is one of the
handsomest decorations for parlor,
sitting-room or dining-rOOm. A box,
about three or four inches deep and fit
ted perfectly to the fireplace, so as to
present the appearance of being por-
ton of the mantel, Is made of common
wood, lined with tin or zinc so as not to
leak, and then painted in any color that
will best accord with the color of the
mantel. If the mantel is white marble,
the box is more effective when black. A
very simple and inexpensive method of
initiating ebony is to blacken the box
with burnt wood and then coat it with
black varnish, which must be well ap-
piled so as to produce a good polish.
All communication with the chimney
should be well shut off, and the back of
the fireplace covered with panel-paper,
which may portray ''deep and gloomy
wood" a cleaner, a stork, Cupid
in bower of roses, or any
scenery preferred. The box is then
furnished with rich soil, and well filled,
but not crowded, with ferns surrounded
by moss; and if the fireplace is very
large, mOss-covered rocks may be used
with charming effect for filling in. In
this event, the ferns should be planted
between the rocks; and the more natu-
raj the arrangement, the handsomer the
result. Every particle of earth should be
covered with moss, and an ivy placed in
each end of the box should be carefully
trained along the margin of the fire
place to simulate a bower. The roots
and foliage of the plants should be well
watered every day, as ferns require a
great deal of moisture.


This arrangement makes an exceed
ingly handsome fireplace ornament, and
so long as careful attention is bestowed
upon it, the fernery win keep nice and
green and will continually be improving
in appearance. A fancy mat of some
kind placed in front of the fernery will
heighten the pretty effect of the room so
decorated. -De5ineGtOr for Augatst.
Year: 1879

When Mr.. Nat. Silver took his last
summers linen duster out of the clothes
press, it was q good thing for him that
he didn't rife the pockets in his usual
energetic style, or he might not be
around TO tell the tale which he poured
into our sympathetic ear this morning.
He took hold of the end of a handker-
chief in one Of the pockets, and pulled
it out. 1t was covered with tarantulas,
nearly all of them small, but full of
poison and fight. While he was gazing
at them two enormous tarantulas,
neither of which could BE covered with
saucer, emerged from the same pOck-
ct, and began climbing up the coat to-
ward his hand. He just noticed them
in time to drop the garment and call for
help All of the spiders began scuttling
away, and it was with much difficulty
that they were all killed. Nat. is posi-
tive that there were at least fifty taran-
tulas in the pocket.-Nerada Wil1neDlaS-
can.
Year: 1879

We have received authentic informa-
tiOn that at that portion of our sea-cOast
known as Little Kennckeet a valuable
historic relic in the form of the complete
skeleton of a whale, sixty feet long,
has been found, well preserved. The
peculiarly of the affair is that the skele-
ton was found imbedded in a sand hill,
which has been covered with an extensive
forest from - time whereof the memory
of man runneth not to the contrary. -
The sand Of this hill, being recently
changed by storms during the past two
years, was gradually removed from the
place where the remains of this ancient
monster of the deep must have been re-
posing for hundreds, yea, thousands of
years. Another circumstances, besides
the fact that large trees of slow growth
are directly over the skeleton, is that
the hill in which it was found is on the
sound side of the beach, showing con
clusively that the entire coast must have
been deeply submerged at the time when
this specimen Of our greatest sea MANI
mails was driven from his ocean home
and left on the coast by the receding
waters. What great flood could this
have been? Verify has a prehistoric
relic been found.-EIizdJeth City IN. q.
/ Falcon.
Year: 1879

To HAVE GREEN CORN TIE YEAR
ROUND.-Gather it with the husks on,
put in the bottom of clean barrel some
salt, proceed and fill the barrel as with
pork, layer of corn, then a layer of
salt; when full put on a large stone for
pressure, add little pickle of salt and
water. Set the barrel in a cool place
in the cellar; do not let it freeze, and it
viii keep perfect year or more. When
you wish to use it, take off the husks,
soak it twenty hours in cold water, boil
it and eat. Some days in February you
can eat succotash and laugh at the storm
For this purpose Stowell's Evergreen is
the best, but any good sweet corn will
do. Used in this way it can be enjoyed,
as it is never hurtful.
Year: 1879

A correspondent writing from the
mouth of the Columbia River says
The salmon fishing extends down as far
as this, quiet number of fishermen
making this their base of operations


The fish Just now are running quite
freely, one man the other night having
caught los salmon. This, at 90 cents
per salmon, was good nights work,
but they seldom do so well, 100 being
considered a very large catch, and about
10 or 40 being the usual result of a night S
fishing. 1t is a dangerous and hard way
to make money. Quite n number of
boats have been swept out to sea this
season, and some boats and lives lost.
Mr.. Stout informed me a few days since
of a boat with two men that came
through the surf on the weather beach a
few weeks ago opposite his house, about
three miles north of the bar. Their
boat had been swept outside the bar and
swamped, filling with water; their oars
were lost and the sail also; fortunately
they had their net with them which they
took and managed to work it under
their boat, owing TO the floats or corks
belonging to it having so much lifting
power. They were then able to bail out
their boat and Chamber into it again
improvising an oar and a sail, by great
good fortune they managed to come
safely through the surf to the beach as
above stated.-P Portland OregoHidH.


ABOUT the hardest thing a fellow kan
Year: 1879

A SMALL boy was sent to the country
to board short time ago. He promised
his mother that he would write n good
long letter, describing his trip and
boarding place, etc. A week went by,
and his poor mother was nearly dis
tracted when she got the following inter-
esting letter: Il am here, and l snapped
my watch for a pup; and l went in
swimmin' fourteen times yesterday. and
the fellow stole my pocket-book, and /
want some money; and l shall bring the
pup home. Boston Globe.
Year: 1879

Cows that have access to water at all
times viii drink often, but little at a
time and return to their feeding Cows
deprived of sufficient supply Of water
fail in milk and flesh; and when they
are allowed to fail, not only in milk, but
in condition also, it Is impossible to
bring them back to their proper yield of
milk and condition of flesh, at least with
out extra expense and trouble.
Year: 1879

Then a sexagenaIian man would
choose his love from among the old
ladies, kiss her and stand still while the
same performance was repeated until a
procession had been formed, and
marched about singing, giggling and
playing pranks upon each other Won
dering how such things could be, | sat
upon a bench watching game of ''drop
the handkerchief, which, it seems, is
played differently out West from the
way in which the game is conducted by
Year: 1879

The Building Committee of the Levy
Court met this morning at 10 o'clock at
their office Tenth and Market streets.
After viewing the plans OF the new
Court House, the Committee concluded
to make several changes in the interior
of the building and a few slight changes
on the exterior. This they found ne
cessary to do in order that the bids
would not exceed the appropriation
SOC Circulars will be issued and
sent to those who have bid requesting
them to send in their bids by Saturday
at noon. No bids will be received from
other parties.