smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1867

Cor HOLD OF THE WRONG COMMAND.
MENT.-Mark Twain tells the following
funny anecdote: . ..0


why, Captain you appear to have
a very bad cold"


" Yes, Madam, said the Captain, who
is fond of working in his garden early in
the morning, in his shirt sleeves, G I sup
pose I deserve it. I caught it while
breaking the Seventh commandment, last
Sunday"


The party, male and female, started,
and looked blank and then the lady
who brought out heremark said, as well
as a choking fit Of laughter would let
her:


" "Well, upon my word, Captain con-
sideriDg the unusual circumstances Of the
case, and your present surroundings, it
was hardly necessary for you to enter so
much into particulars"


When the innocent Captain got home,
he found to his amazement that the Sew
enth Commandment does not say. Thou
shalt remember the Sabbath day to keep
it holy"
Year: 1867

SUFFRAGE.-Sufrage is not a natural


but a conferred right, and with US il


Ohio, it is arbitrarily conferred at pre-.


sent upon all "White males above the


age Of tWenty-one years, and upon none


other. The advocates of what is called


''manhOod suffrage, universal suffrage,


Impartial suffrage" &C., &C., are sim
ply aud exclusively the advocates of ne
gro suffrage, as everybody understands


those terms. They seem to imsgine that
suffrage would be both impartial" and
universal" if they could only succeed
in comforting it upon the negroes ! Why
is this ? Why does it not occur to them
that our generally we'll educated and in
selligent young 106ite men might be in
trusted with the ballot at the age of say
eighteen years They were deemed of
sufficient age to fight for the country +;
why is it not worth while to demand the
same privilege for them that is pressedso
persistently for thenegro? Is not a young
white man, who can fight for his coun-
try, entitled to the benefit of the same
argument that is urged for the negro ?
One would think so. We are also told
that the loyalty of the negro has been
tested, and that that virtue alone carries
with it the right to vote. Loyalty, they
tell US, is the only true suffrage qualif-
cation but they somehow never dream
Of loyalty except as being bound up in
black hide. Driven in their idolatry
of the negro to adopt standard of suf-
frage so broad and so comprehensive,
how very queer tits, that they yet mar
row and restrict its application to ne
groes, thus making palpable distinctions
not only on account of color, but in be-
half of color Why should they so Sc
Verely ignore the class of whites we have
referred to pa class which, in addition
to loyalty, as reliable at least as that of
the negro, comprises infinitely more in
telligence and general worth. In short,
if loyalty is the true test, and the only
one that should be set up, may we not
hope that arbitrary distinction on ae-
count of age (to say nothing of SEX as
we'll as those based upon color, shall
cease to be interposed between that Vir-
tue Of virtues and the rights which it is
claimed that it oonfers logan Gazette.
Year: 1867




mine from this circumstance what
her native land was, inasmuch as
not only the American steamers
but also those bound to other desti.
nations sail from Brest, and take
passengers thence to all parts of the
civilized world.


On tho morning of the day fol-
lowing, as the lady was entering
the carriage that was to take her
to the quay, she received pack
age by express from Paris, On
opening it she found that it con
tanned a casket of jewolry, consist
ing of diamonds of great value.
They werc from her "brother. !" He
had invested tho whole sum she had
given him in this way.


She was touched with the deli,
cacy which her companion had
manifested in returning the value
in this form instead of refusing to
receive it when it was offered to
him, and with tho feeling on his
part toward herself which his ac-
ton denoted, that she gave up her
voyage, returned to Paris, and
sought the gentleman again to
thank him for his present,


In about month they too were
married.


These two stories are both in
some measure Characteristic of the
manners and usages of the respcc'
tive countries in which they are
said to have occurred,


The two following are Yankee
stories, and they arc equally char
acteristic of their origin:


A young Boston merchant, who
had come into the city when he was
eighteen, and had devoted himself
strictly and faithfully to his duties.
found himselfat the age of thirty.
two in possession of q large and
fast increasing capital, at the head
of u very prosperous and lucrative
business, and in the receipt by
means of it of an ample income,
but with no wife. He first bought
and furnished a housein q handsome
part OF the town, and then began
to cast about for the means of find
ing lady to place at the head of it.


There were plenty of frivolous
and fashionable women about him,
whose idea of a husband was
gentleman to work all day in his
counting.room in order TO furnish
hem with money for their balls
and parties. But these were not the
kind. He wished for u wife who
had somo idea Of duty to be perform
cd. lie concluded that he must seek
one among those who had beer
trained to the performance OF duty.


"New Hampshire is a good State,
said be to himself, musing.


So he went from his store rount
the corner to the counting-room o
of commission. merchant, who act
cd as agent for the sale of goods
manufactured by o largo company
Year: 1867

like old friends.


Daring the afternoon 4 rain storm
came on. The roads became wei
and heavy, and the progress made
was slow. The sky was overcast
and darkness supervened at very
early hour, while the stage was
yet several miles from the village
whereit was to stop. AS the wheel'
went on blowing through the muC
and ruts the passengers became
uneasy, tor the driver had no lights
The young lady, however, evlnced
50 mnch calmness and composure
AS greatly to Increase the interesI
which the student felt for her. The
danger was real, as the event prov.
ed, torjust as the coach reached the
top of the hill the wheels on the
side went off the edge OF the road
into Il ditch, and the coach oyer
turned.


The student called out 10 the
passengers to lie as still as possible,
SO as to got olt quickly, one by one,
from the openings in the side OF the
coach which was uppermost. He
was himself near tho door on that
side, ana was the first to escape
He then assisted the others by feel,
ing, Tor it was so utterly dark that
nothing could be seen. Theyoung
lady came next but one. The road
was SO wet and muddy, he said,
that she could not step in it, and
she must let him carry her to the
bank on the other side. She con.
sented


So he took her in his arms and
began to carry her across the mud.
dy road, feeling his way in the
utter darkness, made more intense
by the trees of forest that border.
ed the road. She yielded herself
SO readily to his grasp, and rccln-
cd her head so confdingIy upon his
shoulder, that he was encouraged
to whisper in her ear, MARY, are
you engaged to be married p She
answered, No" "Are you willing
to be my wite?' She answered,
YES" lie sealed the promise with
the usual liJtle ceremony, and then
placed his prize upon II fiat stone by
the road side, the white surface Of
which reflected the skies sufficient.
ly to make its form jnstYisible, af-
er which he went back to assist
the other passengers.


| believe that this couple were
not married within the month, but
they were duly united at the prop
er time. The lady afterward often
told her friends that she always
had the most agreeable association.
with the idea Of tho upsetting of q
stage, coach, though they could moi
imagine why.


We can not absolutely guarante,
the truth of all these stories, bu
must leave our readers to exercise
their own Judgment and discretion
in regard to their crodibility.
Year: 1867

nifty to become little acquainted
with him, he bade them good bye
after arranging to have the apples
three barrels of them-packcd
and sent to Boston.


TO make a long story short, the
gentleman went back to Dover,
called at theyoung woman's board
ing house, and asked to see her on
business; and he SO far succeeded
in his negotiations with her as to
induce her to close her engagement
at the mill, and go home to consult
her father and mother on the "bus.
mess" in question.


In about a month they too were
married. The gentlomen's friends
think that he has got charming
and most excellent wife, though
they can not imagine how he found
her in that out.ol.tho way village
in New Hampshire. They live very
happily together in Boston, and
she attends faithfully to all her du-
ties as wife and mother, having
been trained to the performance of
duty from childhood. 1t would be
a betrayal of confidence for us to
give the street and number where
they live.


In all the preceding cases the
matches were made in very bus.
mess like and mattcr.of- fact way,
There is one story remaining to be
told, which is of q much moro 70.
mantle and sentimental character,
so that those readers who do not
fancy romantic tales may perhaps
as well pass over the remainder Of
this article.


A student who had completed
his studies, and was commencing
his proiessionaLlile under very ia
vorable auspices, was on his way
home late IN autumn to make a lit
tie visit to the patcrnal roof. 1t was
in old times, when the only mode
| of conveyance for travellers was the
stage-coach, Among his fellow
passengers. in the coach was Il
young lady of very agreeable per-
son and manners, who first at
tracted his notice by her kind con.
sideration for an aged woman, who
was assisted into the coach at a
way.sido inn. In the course Of the
day the gentleman became pretty
well acquainted with the young
lady, whose name ho ascertained
was Mary W. He began to
feel strong interest in her, and it
would seem. from tho result that
the interest was in some degree re
ciprocal In the course of the con.
versations that they held together
in the stage, and also in walking
up certain long hills, where such OF
tho passengers as were so disposed
got out to relieve the horses, they
learned mutually many parlicu
lars of each others parentage and
history, so that as the day passed
on they began to feel somewha,
Year: 1867

Our city was few days ago filled
with very strange literary bipeds, all of
whom were loud in their avowed con-
servatism, and gushing with sympathy
for the South and for Mr.. Davis. Never
was it our fortune to meet with men
who seemed more bitterly hostile to
Radicalism, or who were more amicably
disposed, and yet these very same men,
having returned to the North, are filling
their papers with the most extravagant
and injurious misrepresentation of the
people by whom they were feasted and
entertained d.-RichmoRd Times.
Year: 1867

The Christianburg Southeast states
that an attempt was lately made by the
Red Stripes Of Carroll county to waylay
and outrage Captain w. Cloud, who
was enrolling officer for that county
during the war. He happened to take
q way home different from the one along
which they were stationed, and es-
capped being murdered.
Year: 1867

The wheat about Lynchburg is be-
ginning to head out finely, and bids
fair not to belle the early promise Of a
magnificent crop. With favorable
weather, the harvest will be commenced
in the next twenty-five days. and on
some farms few days earlier.
Year: 1867

A gold medal will be awarded for the
first time at the approaching commence
ment of the University Of Virginia to
that member of the Mathematical class,
who shall have distinguished himself
most in solving the original mathemati-
cal problems submitted as exercises to
the class during the session and at the
final examination. This is a new fea-
ture in the Mathematical School of the
University, and was introduced by
Prof. venable, who has founded this
prize by contributing forty dollars a
year for four years for the purpose
Charlottesville Chronicle.
Year: 1867

when cool, thin with milk to a proper
consistency, and bake with one crust,
like a pumpkin pie. Eggs may be pre-
pared and added with milk, if handy,
though it will do without. No sweet
ening is necessary. 1t may be seasoned
with any kind of spice to suit the taste,
the less the better.


4pple Pottdge-Take ripe apples care
fully pared and gored, and put them in
layers in stone or earthen jar, alter
nately with layers of sugar. If thesap-
pies are sweet, a little lemon or ounce
intermingled will give it q better flavor.
Cover the whole with wheat paste or
dough, and place the jar in the oven for
baking. Let it remain all night, and it
will make delicious dish for break
fast.


To make Apple jelly Take your apples,
wash them, and cut into halves; place
them in brass or porcelain kettle,
without removing the rinds OF seeds;
cover them with water, and let boil un-
til perfectly soft; then take them off,
strain them through a coarse towel, and
put the juice back in the kettle; let it
boil to the consistency of molasses; then,
for every gallon of syrup add two
pounds of sugar and an ounce of CHINA
men, and bring to boil; skim it, and it
is done.


Apple Butter.-Boil barrel of cider
from sweet apples, to one-third its orig
inal bulk, after having taken out two
pailsful in which to cook the apples.
Nicely pare and core sweet apples
enough to make two bushels of frui.
when finished. Boil these in the cider
which was reserved for the purpose, un-
til they are little soft, then pour the
whole into the boiled cider'while hot,
and cook; stir it until pulp. Sauce
thus prepared will keep good for several
years.
Year: 1867

The assembling of the Democrats in
county and township meetings, to elect
delegates 10 the coming State Conven-
tion, will afford our friends fine op-
pOrtunity to make MP clubs for the
REGISTER.


The Importance of circulating indie
pendent aa.l reliable Democratic papers
should not be overlooked at this juno
turc. There is great work to he accom-
pliShed by informing the masses
throughout this state in regard to the
workings of Radicalism as they are
daily developed. The general dissem-
nation of soand Democratic doctrines
Is also greatly needed. If the public
mind is rightly informed upon the polit-
zeal issues of the day. there is no doubt
that its determinations will be adverse
10 the fanatical folly which now pre-
walls in public affairs.


The REGISTER is universally admitted
to be admirably adapted to the wants
of the times in West Virginia. Its
course is everywhere commended by
those who have the good of the State
and country at heart. Its value as q
missionary in the field of public labor
being generally conceded, the friends of
honest government should consult the
public good by giving it the widest
possible circulation.


No better opportunity can be had than
the present. We are upon the eve of a
great political campaign, and men are
everywhere willing to be advised as TO
the course they should pursue. Give them
q bold, faithful, and reliable paper like
the REGISTER, and the seed thus sown
caDnot fail to bring forth the golden
fruitsge of success.
Year: 1867

length ceased to speak, and for the last
three weeks said nothing. What ! suffer
ed in that time / leave to the imagina-
tion.


One day the same lady Ihavo describ-
ed came and spoke to me through the
wicket.


"Are you still of the same mind, senior
willing to give all you possess for your
liberty n


"Oh yes, lady! yes! will give ALL
ALL! Oh, for the love of Heaven, set me
at libertyr'


"Will you swear to follow my direc-
items in every particular, ard never seek
to find this place, and never seek 10
bring to justice any one concerned IN
your capture and imprisonment n


"Yes, lady! by the most sacred eata
you may prescribe"


"Then, by the livss of your wife and
children, swearw


81 do; and by my hopes Of Heaven 4"


"You will be blindfolded and led out
of your prison." she pursued, "but will
not be left penniless. What you have
about your person you will be allowed
to keep, and you will be put upon the
road TO Chihuahua, mounted on a good
horse, and furnished with q heavy purse,
part Of the proceeds of your mule
train, which has been sold to advantage.
You will ride to chihuahua as fast as
you can, and report yourself as having
done well, without making mention OF
any trouble Oh the route, or of any per-
son or thing you have heard or seen In
mi Affar fhnf fal-a mi
vice, and leave the country, without
ever returning this way again."


"In every particular kind lady, you
shall be obeyed," said /, my heart wild
ly beating with hope and joy.


1T is well. Be ready in an hour.
Adieu.r


She went away, and that hour seemed
to me an age, as l hurriedly paced mp
and down my dark cell. Would she
keep her promise should l again be
freei


Thank heaven, she was true to her
word. At the expiration of an hour two
"a close bandage over my eyes, and led
me away in silence, through long and
narrow passages as before, and up to
the world above. Oh what delight
full sensation, to feel and breathe once
more the pure air of heaven. They still
continued to lead me away for something
like mile, and then put heavy purse
in my hand and mounted me upon a
horse.


"Now then" said one, 1--WE are about
to leave you. Your horses head is to-
ward chihuahua. Do not touch your
bandage till you hear us whistle, then
tear it off and ride for your life, looking
not behind you"


/ followed their directions, as l had
sworn to do, aud reached my destination
in safety, and soon after left the coun-
try. The bag given me contained the
amount of thousand dollars in gold.
To this day / do not understand the
mystery of my punishment, robbery and
parting present.
Year: 1867

THE ARcHDucHEss MATnDA.-Two days
before the coronation at Pesth the House of
Hapsburg lost one of its members by tragic
death. The Archduchess Matilda, daughter
of the Archduke Albert, some days before,
while leaning out of the window to talk TO
one of her relatives, inadvertently trod on a
luciFer match lying at her feet on the floor.
Before she was aware of it her Summer
dress was in blaze, and before any one
could run to her rescue she sank to the
ground in an agony of pain, from which
only death released her. The deceased
Archduchess was born on the Goth Of Janu-
ary, 1S49, and was therefore in her nine
teenth year. She was the second daughter
of the Archduke Albert, the victor of Gus
tozza, and granddaughter of Archduke


Charles, who distinguished himself as an


able general in the war against the first


Napoleon. Her grandfather being the brother
of Emperor Francis 1. (the grandfather of


Francis Joseph, she was second cousin OF
the present Emperor. 1t was understood
that she was soon to be betrothed to Prince


Humbert, the heir to the throne of Italy
BY all accounts she was endowed with rare


gifts of person, mind, and heart.
Year: 1867

Coal, MINE DISASTER. fearful accident,
which resulted in the immediate death OF
ten men and lads, occurred at Washington
Collery, on the Weir, in England, May 81.
Sixteen men and lads had been barred up in
the Maudlin seam, and were prevented get
ting up with the men who came out OF the
nit in the afternoon. About six O'Clock, the
fall having been cleared away, the men and
lads had been sent 10 the foot of the shaft
/ to 90 TO bank, and ten Of them were in
cage of two decks between and 8 O'Clock,


and were drawn up the shaft by the engine.


Instead of stopping his engine when the


case got to bank, Tudor, the engineman,
had let it go on, and the result was the ten


poor creatures were run up to the pulleys in


the cage.


Upon passing the bank the men shouted


with all their strength, but no notice was


taken of them, and as soon as the cage struck


the chocks near the pulleys Or wheels,


which it did with considerable force, the
wire rope broke, and the whole of the men
| in the cage were precipitated with it down
E the sump, depth of two hundred and fifty
e yards, and, it is needless to say, they were
$ killed on the spot. The cage crashed from
a side to side as it was precipitated down the
s fearful chasm, pitched the men out, smashed
r through the bunting, and fell into the sump-


Immediately after the occurrence, the brakes
l. man disappeared but he was apprehendec
J. during the night, and was brought before
h the Gateshead magistrates on Saturday ant
"a | rananded The bodies of the men werI


got out of the pit ON the following day
Year: 1867

That our Senators and members in Congrass
be requested to advocate the passage of an act
granting such government aid to the Nortber,
Pacific Railroad as win ensure its early con-
struction and completion.


That the Governor of the State be requested
70 transmit a copy of the foregoing preamble
anu p resolutions to each of our Senators and
presentatives az in Congress at as early day
Year: 1867

We call attention to the advertisement Of
tho celebrated Grover & Baker Sewing Ma
chino Company. Their machines ore highly
appreciated. The Southern agency for
their sale is No. 1872 Canal street, New Or
kans.
Year: 1867

At the recent convocation Of the Episco-
pal clergy OF Western Tennessee, at Bolivar,
Bishop Quintard delivered an address IN
which occurs The following against q very
common practice Of the day:


"My dear and rev,r,nd brethren, would
have you bear In mind how necessary Il 10
for us TO do the Masters work in his own
way. The very moment we depart out Of
that way, we cause men to stumble at tho
law Of Christ and make our ministry bye
word and a reproach. Therefore have
also made you contemplate and base before
all the people, according as ye have not kept
my ways" saith the Lord. When thought-
Iul men Of the world are al loss 10 apolo-
gize for practices In which Christians
lhoughtlessly indulge, surely 1t Is time for
the Pastors of Christs flock to lift voice Of
warning aud admonition. ! charge you,
before God, that ye be not remiss in rebuke-
lug sharply, aad with all authority, not only
The wordHuess which we 50 much deplore
but especially those vicious practices which
have gained popularity among Christian
people for rnisng money ~ do the Lords
work. II Is treason against God and his
Christ to give counleaance to such evil
measures. II men will not do their duty
and pay what they owe, their tentb unto
the Lord If they will not offer to God of
their substauce-if they will not lay their
gifts upon the altar, then warn them boldly
and fearlessiy that God will either take their
riches from them, or them from their riches.
II they will not build churches from sense
Of the natural decency OF things, that Gods
name may be reverenced without rssortiug
to means and appliances which outrage all
sense Of religion and break dowd ali the
barriers Of public moraliy--,heu far better
for US to worship under the blue arch Of
heaven" ..-....