Year: 1874

WnO mas not learned to Oreau bne travelling agent? The oily fellow who is canvassing for book, or map, or something else you don't want, and who never takes no for an answer. Who comes when you are busy and talks till you are tired of him, and when patience is all gone, begins again in the same smooth way, smiling sickly smile that makes you ache to kick him, and see if that would make any difference. Such one recently entered an office in this city where several persons were present, and in his sweetest tone in quired for one of the lawyers whose name was on the door. That gentle man responded, and thereupon the book man commenced to say his lesson in the usual way.

 "I have called in for the purpose of asking your attention for a few mo- ments, if you have the leisure, to very interesting and valuable work that I am now engaged in introducing among the citizens of this city and vicinity. It is issued in the most beautiful and at tractive style of the day, as you will see by examining this binding and glancing at these elegant illustrations. It also comprises, among other things, @ full and complete" etc., etc., etc., all in the regular and customary fashion. When the first victim refused, the canvasser proceeded to attack in turn each of the other gentlemen, repeating the same story again and again with easy volu- bility. One of them finally managed to slip in word of objection.

 "Your mode of business is not fair. I like to see thing sell on its own mer- it's. If your book is good for anything, put it on the market, and those who want it will buy it. Your plan of show ing man piece of book that you are going to make, and then getting his name to a contract, is dead sure thing for you; but the man that pays his money takes all the risk"

 "But, my dear sir, consider for mo- ment the immense expense attending the preparation and introduction of @ costly and elaborate work like this. Why, sir, the engravings alone of the magnificent plates and illustrations with which this work will be crowded will cost over fifteen thousand dollars, and, of course, no publisher can afford to take such a risk as that without first obtaining few subscribers"

 "Why shouldn't he? It would be far better than to go round with few sample pages, inducing people to buy a work that never would sell on its mer- it's. Make your goods before you try to sell them, and when finished, If l want one, and I think it worth the price, I will buy it.

 This was quite enough to give the un- tiring canvasser a fresh start, and he warmed to his subject ard talked on in 8 ceaseless stream about his book, until he had finished his whole rigmarole. Just as he was taking breath to begin again, one of his victims turned upon him, saying in very cold and matter of-fact-way:

 "Well, sir, we have now listened with patience to,what you have had to say. We have looked at the book and heard all the good things you can ad- vance in favor of it. Now, if you have a moments leisure, should be glad to show you little article that I am agent for, and which I am now engaged in selling to the people of this city and vicinity. It is small, and not expensive, and yet it is found indispensable in every household. Children cry for it, mothers must have it. no gentleman's s library is complete without it. l take no subscribers, but sell and deliver as l go. Understand me clearly: / seI nay goods entirely oaa their merits, and If what I have is not worth the money l ask for it, no gentleman need purchase. Here, sir, IS my card please look it over." .-,..

 And with this he handed to the astonished agent card, to which a small cork was attached by few inches of string. On the face of the card were these words in bold letters

 The most horrible death is to be

 talked to death. To prevent the

 above terrible fate, use the Patent

 Life Preserver attached to this

 card. Directions PUT THE CORK

 IN YOUR EAR.

 The book agent bounced out of his chair, hot with rage, and his bland tones trembled with wrath as he said :

 "Have I insulted any gentleman present by any of my remarks" ,

 70, mo-" returned the other, with perfect coolness. "Not at all, sir; not at all. It is all right. You follow your business and I follow mine. Good morning, sir. "-Spri'aafeld (Hl.) Jour nol.