Year: 1878




Be 1t ever so gristly,


There's no grub like hash"


The author of the above tender parody
was probably one of those extremely
enterprising men who do nothing
themselves, but whose wives support
them by keeping boarders. The lazy lub-
Der composed this apostrophe to mixed
food to still the grumblings of over
hashed boarders.


What is hash? Every one knows, vet
none can define it. The ablest minds of
this century have grappled with the
problem and signally failed. Webster
says it is dish of minced and mixed
meat, or meat and vegetables; but this
itself is only cold, unseasoned hash of
words, and no more expresses the popu-
lar idea of the Wand in question than it
does of mince pie. Josh Billings came
nearer when he termed hash mystery,
but still he only suggested its leading
characteristic. Notwithstanding the
general indefnability of hash, we may
yet discuss its peculiarities and note its
virtues and its vices. Hash is of two
kinds: first, homemade hash; second,
hotel or boarding house hash. The first
we learned to love and devour as child
rem. Very likely mother made it; if
not, probably she superintended it. As
we dozed of a cold morning, up from
the kitchen below came the musical
chuck! chuckl of the chopping knife as
it descended through the corned beef
and struck the wooden tray. Those were
happy days when we started for school at
eight o'clock, full to the brim of good hot
hash and buckwheat cakes. Did we
ever question the ingredients of the
hash? Did cold suspicion of the scrap
ings of dirty plates or thrice-picked
bones ever cross our minds? Or did the
thought of tom-cat or poodle ever lessen
our appetites? oh, no! There was
mystery, but we had unlimited con-
idence in the legitimacy of the mystery.
Then we grew to maturer years. Home
was no more. From hotel to restaurant,
and from restaurant to boarding house,
the now lordly man was hurried. How
about the hash9 1t was there, it was
everywhere, with regularity wonderful
to contemplate. But gradually sus-
picion took possession of the manly
breast. He eyed the mystery frequently
and sadly, and he eyed the waiter, the
steward, and the landlady. When, one
morning, his tooth struck fragment Of
a button, suspicion grew rank; but
when, soon after, he put private mark
on bone and received the same bone
back again twice within the week, then
a wild frenzy seized him, and hash was
forsworn for the rest of his natural
days. This is history, universal history
and the public horror of hash is as fixed
to day in the United States as is that OF
over-ripe eggs. Doubtless there is much
excellent hash made in every city, town
and hamlet of the land, but the temp
tation to fraud in its manufacture, and
the difficulty in detecting the same, ii
such that the man of the world is con
tent to go hashless to his grave rathel
than run the risk of stumbling on famil
lar bones, buttons, hairpins, shoelacings
cast-off apparel, and such other season
ings as proverbially find their way int
it. Good hash meets the fate of fraudu
lent hash, and none but the confdins
and unsophisticated venture to assail it


Somebody has said. that it is safe to ea
hash when the landlady eats hash, bu
the absence of the landlady in hotel
restaurant, and most boarding houses
renders the rule useless. At rare inter
walls one finds a boarding house wher,
everything is scrupulously neat ant
elegant, so remindful of mother ant
those youthful days, that he is justified
in eating everything set before him
Such place is pearl of great price
and, when discovered should be treas
ured up. Probably the best recommend
alton that private boarding house cal
have is that it is safe to eat its hash.
is useless to expect the millennium unit
the general practice of all the Christian
graces and virtues has made hash


universally safe article of diet-restore,
it to its pristine simplicity and popu
larity.