Year: 1879

II 10 all the fashion TO lecture, as
witness Josh Billings, Nasby, and
lots of othor fools-no, | mean fun.
ny men--and Of course l want TO
be in fashion 80, as ybung men
heed lecturing about as much rs any
thing 1 know OF, l will begin with
them.


And firstly, Don't begin the
world with the idea that there is n
certain quantity Of wild oats to be
sown to get the ground ready for
crop OF tame ones. You have most
Of you seen that tall, rank weed with
yellow blossom which bears, after
the blossom. n burr of what are call
ed 'beggar lice Pass by them. and
they fall of and stick to your clothes,
and stick, and stick and il you, by
dnt of hard brushing and prickled
fingers, succeeded in ridding your.
self OF tLom they most likely have
gone whore tho next passer by will
be troubled by them. And their
sprawling, ungainly stalk has taken
as much vitality from the earth as q
strawberry vine oil q roBobush uouid
have done. II is like wild oats, just
as ungainly, just as disagreeable to
your friends, and just rs needless.
No moro so.


Secondly Don't swear. The
truth is good enough without il aud
false hood is mono the better with it
thirds of the people hnvc feel
ing that q story which needs oonl'rI
ming by an oath is like house which
needs propping With n shore, rather
unstable aud dangerous in storm
| have known swearer himself to
declare his modification at the com-
pany OF another no moro profane
than himself


Thirdly: Look out for your rep
rtation. II that gets bad, bo sure it
is tho outcropping from n diseased
branch in your character aud rop-
utation once patched is as likely to
show tho blemish as china plato
with a piece puttied into its edge.
Going down hill is easy, easier than
going up, whilo your face is to-
ward the bottom. 1t is like playing
Larry o Gaf' you can begin any
where, but if you go on till you como
to a stopping place you may play till
your bow is worn out and your
strings broken. Your fiddle is gone
but tho music remaius--Da capu
from everlasting even unto ever
lasting


Fourthly Take your sisters with
you to places of amusement, thus
making sure they are in company
with q ccnfounded good fellow ;
then OF course you will be sure they
nre in no danger. Don't excuse
yourself by saying that the place or
the company 10 not fit. u it is good
enough for them, unless by keeping
bad associations you have fallen a
long way below them--in which case
continuance of evil will not raise
you again to their level.


Filthy: Learn to take care OF
yourself and not depend on mother
and sister to button your collar, put
away your slippers and pipe, (if you
are fool enough to smoke one,) hang
up your hat and overcoat otherwise
you may have riches of a jew, the
beauty of Apollo, and the good ma
ture OF clown, without tho faculty
OF mankind good husband.


Sixthly Don't scowl Mt your Sis
tors children, calling them 'brsts or
'nusances People who live in glass
houses ought to know better than 20
throw stones, and you should con-
slider that it is utterly impossible for
anything human to bo moro hateful
than you were when this Same sister
was being courted, unless the excop-
ton be made in favor Of the Ito be's'
when you yourself shall have been
married fow years.


Seventhly: Don't regard life as
a play ground and every working
day as hardship The only person
I ever know who had Fourth of July
all the year round is old Yankee