Year: 1879

This world is chock full of woe and mis-
cry. Just when felldw imagines that h
;, is the captain of the steamship of success
= = and is sailing right along to glory, is tn
: very time that the pile-driver of misfor
tune strikes him amidships, and convert
!. his prospective happiness into chaotic mis-
cry. (The foregoing remark is copyrighted
those using it without the express permits
sion of the author, will be dealt with as the
law directs)


The other night, when a Capitol stree


young man took up the festive guitar, and


wended his winding way to the domicile OF


his lady>love with the intention of reclining


beneath her window and honorine her with


a serenade, he had not the slightest doubt
but that his effort would be crowned with


the brightest crown in the workshop of


success. His manly heart beat high his


face was flushed; and his entire feelings


were something similar to those of a five
year-old boy when he dons his first pair of
| trousers.


He had been thinking of committing this
deed for some time, and as he tuned up his
instrument and stole softly toward the
house, he pictured to himself the whole
scene: "Stra1ns of heavenly music float
ing out upon the silent air-window raised


beautiful girls beautiful little head poked
out-sweet little noto of thanks futtering
down, ETC."


BY the time he had colored this little pic
ture to his perfect satisfaction, he had ar>
rived at the dwelling which contained his
hearts dearest treasure. To his chagrin, |
he found the gate locked Nothing daunt
ed, however, he began to scale the fence,
which, by the way, is composed of very
tall pickets sharpened at the ends. He
gained the top and was preparing to leap
over and proceed to business, when he sud-
denly made the alarming discovery that he
was fastened firmly to the fence


Now, it is a well-known fact that broad
cloth pants and picket-fences are natural
and tn, ~"ver they engage
in a disturbance TIL 'lways, without
a single exception, come off victorious.
This case was no exception to the rule.
The young man was as firmly fixed to that
wicked fence, as is Pixies Peak to the Rocky
Mountains.


vas ridiculous situation for the son


cd family to be placed in, and there
~ least doubt but that he felt his
position keenly. After suspending between
Heaven and earth for about five minutes,
and after having breathed out upon the
still night air few remarks descriptive of
his circumstances, which, perhaps, we had
best not record, this young devotee of the
muses. came to the conclusion that he had
onjoyed his exalted position long enough,
md once more delivering himself of a few
expressions noted more for emphasis than
tor elegance he gave mighty wrench, and
amidst the bursting of buttons, and rip
ping of dry goods, landed head downward !
md feet and arms spread about promiscu- !
the yard.


Then the young man stood up and ener~
getically rained down curses upon the head Z
# every carpenter that ever lived, from S
Joah down the builder of the New York ]
post Office. Having relieved his mind by
ndulging in this little bit of pleasantly, he =
at down and amused himself by watching T
he blood drip from his sadly-discouraged
lose. Then he took out his pencil and pa 7
,er and wrote out the following memoran- G
lum of his injuries:


One nose-skinned and busted.


One ankle-sprained.


One head--mashed aud skinned.


One pair pants, doeskin-ripped gener-
lily. :
One coat-ruined forever.


One breast pin-lost eternally.


Then the young man gathered up the q
emnants of himself and sadly wended his
winding way homeward He has hung P
lp his harp" and will serenade no more.


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