smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1878

An enterprising reporter, in writing
Mr.. Lambert's obituary, said Nature
had endured all the trespass she could
admit; the poor mans corpulency had
constantly increased until the clogged
machinery of life stood still, and this
prodigy of mammoth was numbered
with the dead. His coffin contained
one hundred and twelve superficial
feet Of elm, and was six feet foGr
inches long, four feet four inches
wide, and two feet four inches
deep, and the immense substance of his
legs necessitated its being made in the
form of a square case. 1t was built
upon two axle-trees and four cog
wheels, and upon these the remains Of
the great man were rolled into the
grave. A regular descent was made to
the grave by cutting away the earth for
some distance. The apartments which
he had occupied were on the ground
floor, as he had been long incapable of
ascending staircase. The window and
part of the wall Of the room in which he
died had to be taken down to make a
passage for the coffin. Another great
man was grocer named John Bright,
living at Maldon, in Essex. He may
have been said to have been born great,
and he was of family noted for the
great size and appetites of its members.
Bright enjoyed good health, married al
the age of twenty-five, and had five
children. He was cheerful compan.
ion, a kind husband, a tender father, q
good master and an honest man. He
died in his thirtieth year at the net
weight of six hundred and sixteen
pounds. . His coffin was three feet
three inches broad at the shoulders
and more than three feet deep. A
way was cut through the wall and
staircase of his house to let it down into
the shop. 1t was drawn to the church
ON a low-wheeled carriage by twelve
men, and was let down into the grave by
an engine fixed on the church for that
purpose. After his death wager was
laid that five men, each swenty-one
years of age, could be buttoned in hi,
waistcoat. 1t was tried, and not only
five men, but seven men, were inclosed
in it without breaking stitch or strain
ing button. Navarro has not quite
reached the proportions of either oi
these men, but he is quite young vet
and if he increases in the next ten year
as much as he has in the past ten, h,
will go down to history as the fattes
man on record.
Year: 1878

west side of the river. The country
was all full of marshes, bayous and mo-
rasses, so that the natural advantages
for the execution of the plot were good.
The plan was for Joe Lee and his five
trusty followers to dress up in the Fed
eral uniform, ride on horseback to Mil
liken's Bend, go direct to the house
where Grant was stopping, rush in and
secure his person, put him on spare
horse, and then escape to the swamps,
which were near by. On one Saturday
evening late the party set out from
Dickson's house, near Delhi, and rode
toward the Mississippi.


There was not soul on earth besides
themselves and Governor Allen that
knew of their desperate mission. 1t
was something over twenty-five miles
they had to 90, and the night was a
dark one, but long before day they were
at the edge of the woods that bordered
on the plantation on which Grant was
quartered. There was no enemy to at
tack from the west side, and there was
no particular precaution about guards.
The pickets were passed before sun-up,
and, while the general was yet asleep,
the guerillas rode boldly up through
the open field toward the house. There
they were-six men-seven horses; the
empty saddle for the commander of the
hundred thousand men who were camped
about in every direction. They ap-
preached to almost stones throw of
the house, when they met negro.
They were discovered. 1t was an old
man whom these very men had run
away from Delhi not ten days before.
He knew them all and Immediately gave
the alarm. In a moment there was a
great tumult, and the six guerillas had
nothing to do but save their lives. They
broke through the field and in the
twinkling Of an eye were back in the
woods, but not until hundred shots
had been fired after them. Before the
sun went down they were safe at their
favorite rendezvous. Thus was frus-
trated one of the most daring plots of
the war. 1t is not probable that Cen
eral Grant took any particular notice
of the affair, and it is not at all prob
able that he has revealed the valuable
service of the old colored man. What
Interpretation the officers of the army
put upon the presence of the strange
and hostile men at such time and
place is not known, but if there were
any doubts as to their mission this bit
of history may serve to remove them.


Most Of these guerillas remained in
Carroll Parish till the close of the war,
many Of them lived there for some years
after the war, and some of them are
there to-day.
Year: 1878




Boys who forget the circus day. Men
who forget their mothers-in-law's names.
Women who forget that shirt buttons
are essential to mems happiness. Peo-
pie who forget what kind of an umbrella
they left in the vestibule, and take a
better one. People who forget to clean
their teeth before breakfast. People who
give three dollars change for two dol
lar bill. Young girls in love. People
who can forget that they have corns.
Ministers who put a deck of cards in
their pockets with their handkerchiefs
Women who forget to lift their dress
when crossing muddy street-that is
if they have neat ankles. Men who
lift their hats to cigar sign. Womer
who pass a glass without looking in
People who put postage stamps on posta
nords
Year: 1878

NEVER slip the ring on her finger,
boys, till you slip around early some
morning and see how nature triumphs
over art when you give nature fair
chance, and her best fellow aim t around.
You wouldn't recognize her without an
introduction, and from the looks of her
wardrobe you'd take her for the hired
girl, or a yellow fever sufferer. But just
let the bell ring, or a vision of pair of
coat tails flop around the corner, and the
way she PAGES off the distance interven-
ing between the buttery door and a
brush and comb, would make carrier
pigeon smart with envy.-Etmird
Gazette.
Year: 1878

IF the two mosquitoes in the Ark had
become impertinent and bloodthirsty,
and lit ON Noah's nose fifteen times a
minute, the probabilities are that about
the second night out he would have
jumped out of bed, lit the gas, got a
towel, and frescoed the ceiling of the
boat with their gore. P. Swish he
had.-NorristoaD Herald.
Year: 1878




New York Correspondence of the Cincinnati Ga


Zette.l


There was a considerable attendance
of doctors, surgeons and students at the
Blank Hospital one day. DR., a
celebrated surgeon, was to amputate a
boys leg, and a brilliant operation was
looked for. 1t was brilliant but in the
midst of it one of the spectators saw a
spurt-spurt of blood that his practiced
eye told him ought to be stopped at once.
He looked anxiously at the operator, but
though his eye saw it too, his pride was
blind to it. To stop and bind it would
spoil the symmetry of the performance.
He went on, and finished to the admira-
ton of the whole throng-"a splendid
operation!'


The next morning our observing friend
went to the hospital. As the door was
opened for him he said to the ianitor
"Little is dead" The man stared
at him in aEtonishment. "Why, how
do you know that, sir?" "I knew he
would die when l saw the operation" J"
Said the man, eyes sir, he died this
morning" That same morning some
one found the brilliant surgeon standing
by the sheeted bed, with face that told
its own story. He said he would give all
he had in the world if he could bring that
boy back to life, for he knew that his
vanity had killed him.
Year: 1878

On recent Saturday night, in New
York, an old man known as "Apple
John" died in a miserable cellar, all
alone. He was an inventor, and thought
he had discovered perpetual motion
and he had worked at it steadily for
thirty years. He kept an apple stand in
his cellar, and all that he made by the
business he spent in perfecting his in
yention.


He had an idea, purpose. He slept
ON pile of straw in his solitary cellar.
in a squalid neighborhood, and spent
days and nights of toll over his machine !;
stinted himself in food, clothing, and all
the pleasures of life, and when at last
he died, there was no one to comfort his
death struggle, no one to close his eyes.
But did cold Apple John" live alone ?
Oh no; there lived in his cellar the
most beautiful presence that ever glad
dened the wretchedness of his life, a
presence that was near him all the time
and kept him company; spirit that had
fled perhaps from the halls and bowers
of wealth and luxury to nestle in the
cellar of old Apple John-it was Hope.


With her for his companion old John
was happy; he sang at his work and
laughed at his self-imposed hardships, at
the wretchedness of his surroundings
and of the jeers of his acquaintance
He looked forward to the time when
Hope should be his, when she should be
realized, his bride. On the night before
his death she had been very caressing tc
him. He called boy and sent him to
get some refreshments, saying that his in
vention was complete. He was gay and
confident. On the next day his shop die
not open. When they went in they
found the old man dead with a smile OIL
his face. Around him were his decaying
fruits and cakes, and the complicated
wheels and springs and puileys of his in
vention. Hope had gone, but she hac
left in the smile on his face the impress
of her parting kiss.


Do not pity this old man. He hat
been far happier than many rich MAJ
on Fifth avenue had ever dreamed of
Squalor does not always bring misery
nor does wealth bring joy. Gods bless
ings are more evenly distributed than w
imagine; and no man is unhappy Will
Hope nestles in his bosom.
Year: 1878

Glide on, sweet purlins stream,


And mingie with the Sea;
Adown Zach glen by water glearn,


In merry dance AMI free.
Sing on, sweet bird /; the blue expanse


Of Heavens vault is thine;
Oh lap thy soul into trance;


Pour forth thy song divine;
But | must not give forth my strain;
] love a maid, but love IN vain
The blithesome bird that haunts the vale
Viii bear but half her grief:
She floats her sorrow on the gale,


And gives her soul relief;
The meanest aoweret on the field


Basks in the nnon-day sun,
And every Creature hath a rcss


When daily toll Is done;
! to myself make bootless moan,
And bear my burden all alone
\ grief that links two hearts in bliss


Is but hidden treasure
What but a thorn when singly borne,
When shared becomes a pleasure
The finer feelings OF the soul


Are known by mutual union;
Each spirit hath its counterpart


With whom 70 hold communion.
But she Is gone, and leaves with me
The rest of the unsleeping sea.
Year: 1878

PITTSFIELD MASS, July l3.-Tompkins, of
Troy, planner of recent car robbery who has
been missing since the crime was found last
night sick with brain fever in house at Rich
mond, Mass, about eight miles from this place.
He cannot be removed, and the Troy officer
remains with him
Year: 1878

THE DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSIONAL EXECU.
TIVE COMMITTEE will meet in this city on the
18th instant if Representative Blackbu of
Kentucky, who is the chairman, arrives by
that time. The committee will formally Open
the fall campaign, and arrangements will be
made for the distribution of campaign litera-
ture and the apportiOnment OF Campaign
funds where they will do the most good
Year: 1878

IN THE BUSINESS OF CoUNTERFEITING in this
country the western states carry OFF the palm,
with the middle states second. New England
is comparatively free from counterfeiters
while the southern states are at the foot of the
list. The particular section of the country
where cOunterfeiterS flourish most prosper
0uSly are the large Seaboard cities and the
border states There have been more import
ant convictions for counterfeiting obtained in
Philadelphia for the past ten years than in
any two states of the Union.
Year: 1878

FIRST ASSISTANT POSTMASTER GENERAL,
TYNER and Mr.. Blackfan, the representatives
on the part of this country to the International
Postal congress, are expected to return about
Judge Key an opportunity to take a little
vacation.
Year: 1878

INTERESTING DECISION IN PENSION CASE.
The Secretary of the Interior yesterday rem
dered decision affirming the action of the
Commissioner of Pensions in regard to a
FLORIDA Indian war claim of Philip Happel, of
Augusta, Ga, for bounty land, rejected bv
the PENSION bureau under section 8 lS0 of the
ment OF any account, claim or demand
against the United States that accrued or
existed prior to April l3, 1861, in favor of any
person who promoted, encouraged or in anV
manner sustained the late rebellion Or was
not known to be opposed thereto and dis.
tinctly in favor OF its suppression" The
Claimant declares that he opposed secession
up to the commencement of the war with ali
his strength, thereby incurring the enmity of
his neighbors, and that he never served In the
confederate ranks or held office in the con
federacy. He admits that he paid taxes TO the
cOnfederacy, had two sons in the confederate
army, to whose comfort he contributed. bnt
declared that he did not in any way, directly
or Indirectly, aid or encourage the confederate
government. Secretary Schurz saws: THE
fact that he was utterly and outspOkenly Cd.
posed to secession up to the war
does not meet the requirements of section 3,SIO.
that during the war he was opposed thereto
and distinctly in favor of It's suppression;
neither does the statement that he contributed
to the comfort OF his sons as far as was in my
(his) power indicate that he was dissatisfied
with the service in which they were engaged
While he may have been utterly and out
SpOkenly opposed to secession up to the war.
as were many others, yet, after secession was
all accomplished fact, and after the conflict of
arms had commenced, he may have been
earnestly and sincerely in favor of the success
0f the confederate government"
Year: 1878

NJ NO. ~, ~. o' VI AOto'


NUMBER ONE.


That the seat of government
shall De established at the city oi
Baton Rouge or at the city OF
New Orleans, as the majority of
the voters of the State may deter.
mine at the next ensuing election;
those voting to locate the State
capital at Baton Rouge shall in
dorse on their tickets: For State
Capital, Baton Rouge those vo-
ting to locate the capital at New
Orleans shall indorse on their
tickets, "For State Capital, New
Orleans"


Strike out article one hundred
and thirty-one.(


q ACT NO. "A, R. S. OF 1878.


NUMBER TWO.


Representatives shall be chosen
on the first Tuesday after the first
Monday in November, every two
years, and the election shall be
completed in one day. The Gene
raj Assembly shall meet on the
first Monday in January, 1879,
and biennally thereafter, on the
first Monday in January, unless a
different day be appointed by law,
and their sessions shall be held at
the seat Of government.


(Strike out article seventeen.)


NUMBER THREE.


After the year 1878 the General
Assembly shall not have power to
levy in any one year for all State
purposes more than one per cent
um taxation, nor shall, any collec-
ton of more than one per centum
taxation be made in any one year,
on the actual cash value Of all real
and personal property liable to
taxation, except in case Of a for
elgn invasion or domestic insur-
rectlon, and in that event any ad
ditional taxation shalt only he for
the Immediate purpose of repelling
INVASION or suppresslng insurrec-
ton. The -ity Of New Orleans
Shall not levy or collect in any one
year more than one and one-h half
per centum taxation on the actual
cash value of all The real and per-
sonal property liable to taxation
within its limits. No parish or
municipal corporation, except the
city Of New Orleans, shall levy or
collect IN any one year more than
one per centum taxation upon the
actual cash value of all the real
and personal property liable to
taxat'on within its limits. The
ueneral Assembly shall not have
power to issue any bond or pledge
.ae ta'th Of the state for any pur
pose, nor shall it authorize any
paflsh Or municipal corporation to
Year: 1878

Checked cotton braids are used for trimming lined dresses.

 The military jacket is one of the latest styles for young ladies.

 Mary L. Booth edits Harper's Ba- Ear and gets S5,000 year for it.

 Floral garnitures for bridal toilets are composed ofwhite hawthorne and orange blossoms and myrtle leaves.

 Very long gloves increase in favor and are worn out of doors, as well as in the evening, to meet the three qua ter sleeve.

 In some countries a broken down front gate produced in court is all the evidence girl needs to insure fa- vorablc verdict in breach of promise case.

 An Indiana girl says she finds nothing so good for the complexion as rubbing her face on young mans vest. The young man must be inside it, though.

 A woman who had a chance to make the tour of Europe would cheer fully remain at home if by so doing she could banish four or five frcckles from her nose.

 Edison's very, very, very latest in vention is the tassimeter, to measure pressure Every young lady should wear one about her waist as evidence in a suit for breach of promise.

 A young woman had man arrested in London lately on charge of Kiss ing her He said he was the father of seven children and wouldn't dc such a thing. That seems to have settled it and he was discharged.

 A School girl in Ann Arbor took her lovers as a theme for an essay which she read on the commence ment day, much to the astonishment of the assembly, She gave the name lof her lovers, and described minutely | e N-
Year: 1878

The poet says: "Tis sweet to hear the watch-dog'S gentle bark" 7" It is, eh |? When man is standing away out in the center of melon patch at midnight in the dark of the moon, and hears "the watch dogs gentle bark but a few feet in his rear, and fully realizes that he has on his thin linen pants, the voice of the angel Gabriel calling the defendants to trial would pan out more sweetness to the square inch than the gentle bark Y" of a million watch-dogs.
Year: 1878

HAYING-Is one of the most i'm portant operations of every farmer. The improved machinery now in use render the labor comparatively easy to what it was a few years ago but it does not provide against storms or rain, which injures the crop great deal after it is once out. Of late years the custom of cutting the hay one day, stacking it the next, has become common. Hay left to the scorching rays of a hot sun, until dry, possesses but little of the nu- tritive value, and keeps no better than that stacked greener. We pre- fer to begin cutting just as it begins to bloom. It is little to soon per haps, to get the greatest weight; but, before the whole crop can be se- cured, that left to the last will be overripe. We salt ibelally and never yet lost a stack by putting it up too green. The appliances for un- loading hay, both in the barn and on the stack are so simple and inex- pensive that every farmer should have cue.

 A California man has adopted for seveal years past, a new method of sowing wheat. He fastens a com mon sack of wheat in front of him on horseback, attaches his feet to guide the reins, and uses both hands in throwing the grain broadcast, right and left, in such quantities as suits him. Being elevated from the ground, the seed obtains a wide spread. He says he can SOW twen- ty acres day, without much fatigue in this way.

 CORN STARCH-A A secret not known to many housekeepers is that a tablespoonful of corn sta, ch is equal to one egg in cake baking; if you must have four eggs and You only have two, add two tablespoon fuls of cornstarch, and you will have a cake as light and as good as the one with four eggs. -

 SPLIT-PEA SoUP.-A pound of bacon, pound of split peas, small onion cut in slices; put together in a pot with a quart and hllf of Wa ter; let it boil slowly for an hour and half; salt and pepper to suit taste. This makes a cheap and excellent soup. Fry cubes of bread brown in butter and serve with soup.

 A Coop WHITEwAsH.-Slack a half bushel of unslacked lime with boiling water, keeping it covered during the process; strain it and add peek of salt dissolved in warm water, three pounds of rice boiled until it is thin paste, half a pound of Spanish whiting, and a pound ot clear glue dissolved in warm water Mix these well together and let stand

 several days.
Year: 1878

The statement made in a dispatch from
Yankton to Chicago papers charging Col.
Parker with purposely delaying the an
of the vote when it was be-
licvcd Judge Kidder had 7s votes, in the
recent territorial convention does worthy
gentleman injustice: Judge Kidder's
highest totc during the last ballot was SO.
and there was no unnecessary delay in the
Of the vote. The rush for
Bennett when II seemed certain that Kid
der would be Nominated took the form of
a regular stnmpedc, and however unsatis
factory to solnc the result may Prove to be
ii wus fair.
Year: 1878

In the article on the inside of totlay's
TRtEUsE in relation 10 the convention.
there will be found numerous typosrapIi
cal errors as the article was pu; to press
before the writer could see the proof. but
the meaning is apparent and explanations
can hardly do Justice TO :hc subject.
Year: 1878

VEaET1NE-Wh the blood becomes lifeless
and stagDant either from change of weather or
of climate want of exercise irregular diet,
or from any other cause, the Vegetine will re-
cleanse the stomach, regulate tho bowels, and
impsrt tone of vigor to the whole body.
Year: 1878

The Hot Springs Telegraph thinks all of those anonymous letters which the Gazette in publishing, lauding Col. Bob Johnson to the very skies, are pretty tolerably thin, and mildly lntimates that they are written by the versatile pen of the Gazette edl- tor himself.- Russellyllle DEMO GRAF.

 Our friend of the Russellville DEM ocRAT forgot to mention in the above paragraph that we had also positive ly denied the truth of said intlma- ton. It is s right which every cor respondent has to withhold his name from any communication he may wish to publish, with the reserva- tion, of course, that any one who is wronged by it may make demand for the name of the author. We would much prefer that all our cor respondents should sign theIr own names to their communications, but that is a matter we cannot control. We have written to the author of the communication that gave rise to this controversy, asking him for permis- sion to use his name as q defense against the insinuations that have been made against us. We have no doubt but that privilege will be accorded us; and ifso, we will aston ish as well as confound our accu- sers.- Gazette.
Year: 1878

Ostriches bring $l,000 Q pair in South Africa for breeding purposes. This has grown to be q profitable industry. The value of the feathers exported last year was f393,406.

 My boy" said politician to his son, who had been nominated for of flee, ''lean little toward everything and commit yourself to nothing. Be as round as a bottle, and just dark enough so that nobody can see what's in you"

 She that hath new bonnet is more consumed with desire to go to meeting shan seven pious wo- men,
Year: 1878

The penalty of popularity is envy.

 The penalty of thin shoes is q cold.

 The penalty of tight boots is corns.

 The penalty of 6 baby is sleepless nights.

 The penalty of a pretty cook is an empty larder.

 The penalty of godfather is a silver knife, fork and spoons.

 The penalty of kissing a baby is half dollar Gone dollar if you are liberal Ito the nurse.

 The penalty of interfering between man and wife is abuse, frequently accompanied with blows from both.

 The penalty of remaining single is having no one who cares button for you, as is abundantly proved by the state of your shirts.

 The penalty of buying cheap clothes is the same as that of going to law -the certainty of losing your suit, and having to pay for it.

 The penalty of q legacy, or for tune, is the discovery of host of poor relations you never drempt of, and of number of debts you had quite forgotten.

 The penalty of lending is-with a book or an umbrella, the certain loss of it; with your name to bill, the sure payment of it; and with a horse, the lamest chance of ever seeing it back again sound.