smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1867

Some waggish student at Yale College,
few years since, were regaling themselve
one evening ut the "Tontine,' when an ol,
farmer from the country entered the room
taking it for the barroom) and inquired i
he could obtain lodging The young chap
Immediately answered in the affirmative in
viting him to take glass Of punch. TIT
old fellow, who was shrewi Yankee, saw
at once that he was to be made the butt oil
their jests, but quietly laying off his hat and
telling a worthless little dog he had with
him to lie under the chair, he took glass
Of the profiered beverage. The student,
anxiously inquired after the health Of the
old man S wife and children, and the farm.
cr, with affected simplicity, gave them the
whole pedigree, with numerous aneclote.
about his farm, stock &c.


DO you belong to the church, asked
one Of the wags.


"fes, the Lord be praised, and so did
my father before me-


well, suppose you would not tell a
lie?' replied the student.


'Not for the world" added the farmer.


"Now what will you take for that dog p
pointing to the farmers cur, who was not
worth his weight in Jersey mud.


Il would not take twenty dollars for that
dog"


Twenty dollars? why, he is not worth
twenty cents.


well, I assure you I would not take
twenty dollars for him.


Come my friend" said the student, who
with his companions was bent on having
some capital fun with the old man. Snow
you say you won't tell lie for the world
let me see if you will not do it for twenty
dollars. Ill give you twenty dollars for
your dog


"l'll not take it," replied the farmer.


You will not? Here, let us see if this
won't tempt you to tell lie,' added the
student, producing small bag of half dol
lars, from which he counted small piles on
the table, where the farmer sat with his hat
in his hand, apparently unconcerned.
There" added the student. there are
twentj dollars all in silver. will give you
that for your dog


The old farmer quietly raised his hat to
the edge Of the table, and then as quick as
thought scrapcd all the money into it except
one half dollar, ut the same time cxclaim-
ing, II won't take your twenty dollars
Nineteen aud half is as much as the dog
is worth-he is your property"


A tremendous laugh from his fellow
students showed the would be WIG that he
was completely "done up" and that he
need not look for help from that quarter;
20 he good naturedly acknowledged beat,
insisted on the old farmer taking another
glass, and they parted in great gleo-t the
student retaining his dog, which he keeps
to this day, as lesson to him never to ut.
tempt to play tricks on mon older than him
self, and especially to be careful how he
tried to wheedle Yankee farmer.
Year: 1867

1t is wonderful with what unanimity the
Radicals everywhere now agree upon the
necessity Of nominating General Grant for
the Presidency. A month ago, and before
the Manhood Suffrage" party could be
made believe that their pet idea of negro
equality and suffrage would be repudiated
by the States Of Ohio and Pennsylvania,
they were not prepared to take "a pig in
poke" as they called it, but rather favored
the nomination Of u thoroughbred Radical
like Stevens, or Kelley, or Sumner, or Wade
drunken Ben. Wade, We mean-in order
to compel the people Of the North, as well
as the South, to submit to negro rule. The
late elections have convinced the wirc.pull.
ers that they are on the wrong track, so they
gracefully veer around in the face Of the
wind, and run off before it, with certainty,
as they think, of making that haven towards
which all politicians turn their longing eyes,
success. In order to do SO the more effect.
ually, they make scape-goat Of, and bawl,
Justify for the man who, of all others, they
would not have chosen one month ago. If
anything moro was requirid by the people to
convince them that the Republican leaders
think more Of power and patronage than
they do of the prosperity and elevation Of
the country, this last dodge should be sufi.
cient. Let the people take this matter of
President. making out Of the hands of such
miserable pettifogging politicians as Bill
Mann and others Of his ilk in this city,
Sunday Mercury.
Year: 1867

RECEIPT FOR FRS. Though no doctor
have by me some excellent prescriptions,
and shall charge you nothing Tor them
you cannot grumblo at the price. We are
most OF US subject to fits; | am visitef
with them myself, and dare say you ART
also. Now, then for prescriptions


For a fit Of passion, walk in the open air
you may speak to the wind without hurting
any one, or proclaiming yourself to be .
simpleton.


For a fit of idlencss, count the ticklings
Of clock. DO this for one hour, and YOU
will be glad to pull of your coat tho next
time and work like horse.


For a fit of extravaganza or folly 60 to
the workhousc, or speak with the ragged
and wretched inmates Of a jail, and you will
be convinccd-


"Who maketh his bed Of briar and thorn,
Must bo content to lie forlorn.


For fit of ambition, 60 into church.
yard and read tho grave-stones. They will
tell you the end Of ambition. The grave
will soon be your chanber.bcd, the earth
your pillow, corruption your father, and the
worm your mother and sister.


For 1T of repining, look about for the
halt and the blind, and visit the bed-ridden
aud afflicted and deranged, and they will
make you ashamed Of ml'laiuing Of your
lighter Affections,
Year: 1867

nA- A story is told Of q country gentle.
man" who for the first time heard an Epis-
copal clergyman preach. lie had read
much Of the aristocracy and pride Of tho
church, and when he returned homo he wa.
asked if the people were stuck up.
"Pshaw! no." he replied why the min
lister actually preached In his shirt sleeves"
Year: 1867

The friends of the late lameuted,' those
who persist in according to him more patri-
otism and virtue than even Washington
possessed, have recently discovered by all
official statement Of the worldly affairs of
the great martyr at the time Of his taking
off, that he was in the blissful possession
Of Government bonds To the amount Of
abont eighty thousand dollars! and they
point to the fact as still another evidence of
his great loyalty. When we take into con-
sideration the fact that the bonds in question
are subject to no taxation whatevor, and
that the tubortng community are taxed ex-
brilliantly to pay an interest in gold equal
to nine per cent. OH the loyal Lincoln's
bonds, it becomes aquestion with us as to
who is the loyal man-he who boasts of and
measures his loyalty by the amount of his
bonds, or he who submits quietly to inorb-
tant taxation that the government may be
enabled to pay such loyal leechcs an interest
in geld. We doubt whether Mr.. Lincoln
would have died possessed Of Government
bonds to the amount of one dollar, had they
been subject, like other property to taxation.
The true patriot stops not to count the cost
Of his patriotism, but freely gives his accu-
mulatcd wealth, however great or small, for
the defence Of his country. How many
such patriots can we boast of in the late
conflict? The truly loyal men were those
who stood by the Constitution, every article
of which wasrepudiatcd by our Radical rulers,
and outside Of whicc Mr.. Stevens boasts Of
acting; and the day Is not far distant when
the people, who have been dupcd and mis-
led, will so declare from ono end Of the con-
tinent to the other
Year: 1867

The returns received from different por-
tons of the State are sufficient to indicate
with certainty the election of the whole
Republican State ticket. and good strong
working majority in both houses of the
Legislature. A


The extraordinary efforts Of the opposi
ton, united with the apathy of the Re-
publicans, have caused reduction in our
majority, but this does not indicate any
change in the political sentiment of the
State.


By working up, with great vigor, a pure
" imaginary and false issue concerning
the temperance and Sunday laws, the
opposition have succeeded in getting the
votes of few German Republicans, and,
what was more to the purpose, by inducing
a scare among the Democratic Germans,
the brewers, and retailers of beer, have ex-
cited an interest that rallied their voters
to man in the districts settled by Ger
mans. A strong railroad interest has also
worked for the Democratic State ticket in
some quarters. On the other hand, in
many Republican strongholds, feeling of
security, productive of apathy, prevailed.
By the concurrence of these influences
there is q diminution of the Republican
majority in the State. Judging from a
comparison of the returns received with
the vote at the last State election when our
majority was 5000, we judge there will be
a falling of in the Republican majority in
the state of from 1000 to 1000. This will
leave majority sufficient for all practical
purposes. The Democracy may say of it
as Mercutio said of his wound sit is not as
wide as barn door, or as deep as a well" !"
but it is sufficient for their discontinue
Madison .JonrnaI.
Year: 1867

RAILROAD ITEM-The Platteville Witness
says large number of workmen have been
put on the Platteville and Calamine Rail
road during the past week, and the work
is being pushed ahead as rapidly as possi-
Bile. The first ten miles of the road will
require comparatively little grading-no
deep cuts or large fills. We are assured
that it is yet possible to complete the
amount promised by the first of january.
Year: 1867

W- We would cali the attention of our
readers to the list of unredeemed lands,
which is published in this issue. 1t twould
be well for every land owner to carefully
compare the descriptions of the land he
owns with this list, and if any tract is
found there which should not be advertised
it should be attended to right away. The
information contained in that list may save
many times the price of the paper to some
of our subscribers.
Year: 1867

lMPUDENcE, IGNORANCE, EFT. AL.-The ed


itor of the Democrat of this city exhibited
a specimen of the most sublimated ignor.
ance concerning the established laws and
usages of his profession, that we have wit
messed for many years. 1t frequently oc-
ours that men who are destitute of any
knowledge of the art and laws of printing,
by some accident receive a nominal initia-
ton into the mysteries thereof; but one so
censumnately destitute of the most simple
knowledge of the rules of a well regulated
printing office, we neoer met until we saw
it exhibited by Mr.. Peck of the Democrat.


Perhaps not another man on the Wes-
tern Hemisphere, who conducts a news
paper. and especially, one who was at the
time candidate for two Offices, would have
the impudence and audacity to visit an
opposition office for the purpose of procu-
ring a copy of tickets, just on the eve of
an election; when there is, perhaps, not a
practical printer between the Atlantic and
Pacific, ranking in his profession from the
''aeyil' Of one months standing, to the
president of the Printers Union, out who
is perfectly conversant with the fact, that
it is not only futile and absurd to even
hope to get a copy Of an opposition ticket,
but very grave violation of printers eti-
ouette in regard TO the business of the
of6ce.-NinerdZ Point Tribune. a7g Fre
Year: 1867

~ The Republicans of Highland have
done nobly. That 56 votes are a monu-
ment of strength, and by the time another
election rolls around, it will increase a
hundred more. Let the Republicans of
that town stand firm, and feel that they
have done nobly for the cause though
their voice was not large it was great in
the scale of votes in the county. Long
wave the noble old standby of Highland.
Year: 1867

THE Vienna Post says that the insanity
of Carlotta has become so confirmed and SO
violent that she cannot be left alone for a
moment. She is constantly endeavoring TO
destroy herself At rare intervals she has
sane moments, in which she declares, Il
do not want to live. l prefer death to such
a life as this. Where is my husband
Shall never see him again? No, no he
is dead, and yet l still live" Not quar-
ter Of an hour passes but what the unhappy
Princess demands news OF her husband.
Her bodily health has suffered sorely, and
il is very doubtful if she will survive her
husband long.
Year: 1867

Every department Of business has ar imme-
diats interest in the markets Of the country and
in its financial iuctuations and condition. The
man who fails to keep himself properly ad-
vised as to the rise and fall of the markets. as
controlled by the laws Of demand and supply.
and the relative condition Of the currency. Is
exposed to constant loss. and must necessarily
fall behind his more intelligent and enterprisiug
neighbors. In order 10 make our paper valuable
as veil as interesting. we shall continue 70
make this ssEulL FEATURE. Our Daily
Market Reports. domestic and foreign. BY tels-
graph. and cur City Reports, gotten up at heavy
expense, have challenged the commendation Of
our best business men while our current Finar


cial Reports from all the leading money centre


Of the country are fuller than have ever


published By any other Journal in Tennessee.
Year: 1867

The UNION AND DISPATCH, as hereto
fore, will take the Constitution and laws for lis
guide; and in the discussion Of all the new and
intricate questions and issues arising out Of the
extraordinary condition in which the country
placed. it will adhere to the principles an
teachings Of the founders and expositors of our
government and institutions. Ii will endeavor
to guard with vigilance and defend with unwa-
vering earnestness and faith the rights and inte-


SITS Of all the States. and the essential princi-


les which constitute the basis Of the Republic
We shall oppose all invasions Of these. and
uphold, to the utmost Of our ability. the union
of the States under them. Feeling that they
are endangered by the revolutionary schemes Of
the Radical politicians who now hold the Legis-
lstive power Of the Government. we shall abate


cthing Of our past opposition to their mea-
EUrs With these views which are no less thaz
lrOround convictions. we cannot and will not
hesitate to defend the unfortunate South fro
the aspersions and impositions heaped upon its
people. and urge that JUSTICE and RIGHT shall
be meted out to them.
Year: 1867

We shall constantly admonish the Southern
people TO be elfreliaat. and shall do what We
may be able to induce the establishment Of
manufactures in our midst for our home pro-
iaets. To this end we will pay special attentiou
to the COST and STATISTICS Of manufacturing,
and exert ourselves to encourage the diversifi-
cation Of Southern industries and the develop
uent Of southern resources.
Year: 1867

DY A CONSOLIDATION OF THE ASH
VILE UNION AND AMERICAN and the
DISPATCH, and by the generous and united
support of the UNION AND DISPATCH by the
patrons Of both the former papers the Proprie-
tors are enabled to present Newspaper hithe.
to unsurpassed in this city OF State


IN FULLNESS AND ACCURACY
NEWS. our paper will compare favorably ith
the best in the entire country and in saying
this. We only repeat the expressions Of many
our patrons. who are most capable Of judging in
ueh matters.
Year: 1867

A FEW days since half dozen youths
went out on the lake from Milwaukee for
sail, and, having fine breeze, got pretty
we'll out before noticing that rising clouds
behind them had hidden the land from
view. Having no compass to indicate the
way they should steer to return, their situ-
alton was perilous in the extreme Some
Of the boys, after hours of hard work at the
oars, lag down in the boat in despair. The
Others kept at work, however, and at about
8 o'clock at night, had the good fortune to
reach the shore.
Year: 1867

We shall constantly aimonish the Southern
people to De seif-reliant, and shall do what We
may be able 10 induce the establishment oil
manufactures in our midst for our home pro
duels To this end we win pay special attention
to the oosr and STATISTICS Of manufacturing'
and exert ourselves TO encourage the diyersih-
cation ofsouthern industries and the develop
uent Of Southern resources.
Year: 1867

General HANCOCK has written to the Now
York Times complaining of unfair criticism
on his action in the late campaign. In his
letter, he gives his views of the situation"
on the frontier as follows:


We have practically, between the Platte
and the Arkansas, the two important Pa
cific Railroads, the overland mail and tels.
graph lines and tho three great routes Of
travel by the Platte, the Smoky Hill and
the Arkansas. Within this belt of country
war is being carried OH against the Sioux
and Cheyennes, and as we cannot with GER
tainty or intelligently distinguish wild
Indian Of one tribe from those Of another,
the war for the present is practically against
all wild Indians between tine Platte and the
Arkansas.


The tribes interested have been so mott.
fed, in order that those who do not wish to
make war may remain south Of the Arkan.
sas or north of the Platte. The country in
question is at this moment practically clear
of Indians, and we will try to keep it so, if
permitted.


If the military are not allowed to accept
the issue as it is presented, matters can
readily be restored to the old condition.
1t ia but necessary for the government 30
to decide.


1t must be recognized that the timo is at
hand wher these Indians must be placed
on reservations far removed from the lines
of rail and Of travel, to be guarded there
by troops, and be fed by the government,
if necessary. Then the traveller on the rail
roads or Oh the wagon road mSy have a
reasonable assurance that his life is not
hourly in danger, and those who invest
their property in such enterprises may
reasonably expect return. 1t cannot be
so if we again permit these Indians to roam
at will across these thoroughfares, and to
re-establish near them their villages, from
which war parties can constantly emerge
f,r raidA on the rnRda
Year: 1867

Kiss me softly, and speak to me low;
Malice has ever vigilant ear,
What if Malice were lurking near


Kiss me dear
Kiss me softly, and speak to me low.
KisS,me softly, and speak to me low;
ELTy, too. hath watchful ear
What if Envy should chance to hear?


Kiss me, dear
Kiss me softly, and speak to me low.
Kiss me softly, and speak to me low;
Trust me, darling, the time is near
When lovers, may love with never fear


Kiss me, dear!
Kiss me softly, aud speak to me low.
Year: 1867

cross examination, and that other fellow
he has got to back him up, and you'll
have no trouble about the pay" The
trial commenced and proved to be a somo-
what protracted and exciting one The
District Attorney proved that the money
in question vas composed Of two $50 bills
on certain bank, and the remainder all
IN SO bills, all of which were wrapped up
in piece Of oil silk. The jury, after
listening to the counsel in the case, and
receiving the charge Of TIE Judge, re-
tired, and soon returned with verdict Of
not guil;y. The accused, who was great
ly elatcd with the result Of the trial and
the effort Of his counsel, invited the lat
ter into one Of the vacant jury rooms.
As soon as they were alone he slapped
his counsel on the slolIer, and ezc!am-
ed:


"Free as water, ain'tI? What's the use
of trying man fer stealing when you'lc
around? Now suppose you want pay Z"


"Yes have you got anything to pay
with ?" said the lawyer. "Lend ne
your knife and well see about that"


The lawyer, slightly startled at such
proposition, rather reluctantly complied
the accused Immediately commenced rip
ping and cutting away at the waistband
of his panta!ooas, and soon produced the
roll Of bills for the stealing Of which ho
had just teen tried, wrapped up in the
identical piece Of oil silk described by
the witnesses for the prosecution, and
throwing it down on The table before tho
astonished lawyer, exclaimed "There,
take your pay out Of tl.at l gases there
is enough to pay you tolerajly wen."


"Why, YOU villain, you stole that
money after all" said the lawyer. "Do
you expect l can take any Of that
money! "Stolc that money. Didn't
them twelve men up stairs ther just say 1
didn't steal it What's the use of try
ing to raise question of conscience after
twelve respectable men have given their
opinion on the subject? Take your pay
out of that and ask no questions. Don't
be modest in taking | got it easy
enough, and you've worked hard enough
/ for it." Our informant does not state
how much the lawyer took, but we pre-.
sumo the chap didn't have much change
left after our friend had satisfied his 'ctn-
science" in the premises.
Year: 1867

HoRRIBLE-The tale of the Oriasa
famine, as told in an elaborate official
report of tho Government Of India, is
heart-rending. The horrors it reveals
are of an almost incredible character
When it is stated that the mortality
represented a sacrifice Of about 100000
souls, some idea may be formed Of the
magnitude of this awful calamity. Poo
pie die helplcssly in swarms; money was
spurned as worthless employment or
Government roads was offered in vain,
since the living skeletons for whose re-
lief it was provided were too weak to
walk, and far more so to work. Such
was the distress of the starving masses
that it was impossible to keep any order
in the famishing crowd which struggled
for their daily dole Of rice, "and for
miles around was heard their yell for
food" So impossible was 1t TO satisfy
all that extreme emaciatiOn became the
practical test, and those who retained
the least reserve Of flesh on their bones
were compelled to bear the pangs Of
hunger a little longer. Yet the English
seemed to pay but the least attention to
this, and were much more concerned
about our affairs.
Year: 1867

PAYING LIKE A SINEER.-Sovoral
years ago, in North Carolina, where it
is not customary for the tavern keepers
to charge the ministers anything for
lodging and refreshments, a preacher
presumingly stopped at tavern one
evening, made himself comfortable du-
ring the night, and in the morning en-
tered the stage without offering to pay
for his accommodations. The landlord
soon came running up to the stage and
said:


"There is some one who has not set
tied his bill"


The passengers all said they had, but
the preacher, who said that he undor-
stood that ministers were never charged
anything.


''What? you a minister of the gospel
"a man of God ?" cried the inu keeper;
you came to my house last night, you
sat down to the table without asking the
blessing; I lit you up to your room.
and you went to bed without praying to
your Maker, Cfor stood there until you
retired you rose and washed without
praying, ate your breakfast without say
ing grace and, as you came TO my house
like a sinner, and ate and drank like a
sinner, you have got to pay like sin
ner T.
Year: 1867

A SINGULAR INCIDENT. about seven
weeks ago a young man named Thomas
Mcclure, of Kalida, while drinking some
water, swallowed small bug, familiarly
known as the pinohing-bug Although
at the time of swallowing the bug he
felt some peculiar sensation in the stom-
ach, he did not feel alarmed at the fact.
In few days, however, he became quite
unweIl and suffered intense pain in the
stomach. This state Of things existed
for several weeks and during the entire
time the pains became more severe until
they became almost unbearable. Final
Iy, at the end of sixth week, the young
man vomited up the bag, and upon eE-
animation it was found TO be alive, and
larger than the usual size Of bugs Of its
species. The insect was taken posses
sion of by a member Of the medical fra
tornity, who purposes examining into
the facts relative to its longevity of life
and growth in the stomach Of the young
man. The young man has rapidly re-
covered his health and is now almost
over the effects produced by his bug
ship.-PutRa81 Go. Sentinel.