Year: 1877

In the space Of twenty-five years We
have heard twenty five men, more or less,
make successful dlnner-taGle speeches.
Of these, ten were sensible men who en-
tert&inod their companions by trying to
talk like fools; ten were fools " ho were
equally entertaining in their endeavor to
talk l&o sensible mon and tive-the only
persons of the number who enjoyed the
eminence and tho exercise-were drunk,
and neither knew nor cared whether they
talked sense or nonsense. AS u rule, the
successful dinnertable orator is shallow
man-cne whose thoughts are on the sur
face, whose vocabulary is snall and at
quick command, and whose lack of any
earnest purpose in life leaves him free to
talk on trihes. We all remember what
earnest, strong, logical speeches Abraham
Lincoln used to make, when he stood be-
fore the people in the advocacy of great
principles and a great cause and we re-
member, too, with pain, how tame, and
childish, and awkward he was when he
appeared before them to acknowledge a
compliment, or to say something which
should be nothing. Inspired by a great
purpose he could DO anything; with moth
ing to say, he could say nothing. 1t is
thus with the great majority OF our best
men. There is nothing in which they
succeed so poorly as in diuner-table
speech, and there is nothing which they
dread so much. The anticipation of it is





a failure. AT last they learn to shun din
ner-tables, and to tell weak lies in apology
for their non attendance.


There is something absurd in the sub
miesion of so many men to this custom OF
speech making. There is never a public
dinner, or dinner which may possibly
merge into form Atty of toast and talk,
without its overhanging cloud of dread.
There is probably not one man present,
from him who expec to be called upon
for e speech to him who Is afraid that the
demand will at last reach him, who would
not pay o handsome price to be out OF the
room and its dangers. To multltudes of
men, the viands OF a feast are gall and Bit
terness, thr" ugh this haunting dread of
the moment wAea, with bellies full and
brains empty, they shal find themselves
on their ieec, making frantic endeavor
to say something that shall bring down
the fork handles, and give them leave to
sDbsde.


Why a dinner table should be chosen as
an oratorial theatre, we conBot imagine.
There could not be selected a moment more
inauspiciOus for happy speech than that
in which all the nervous energy Centers
itself upon digestion. A man cannot have.
even a happy dream under such circum-
stances. Dancing the sailors hoTnpipe
with dumb bells in ones pocket is not ad-
visable under any circumstances. 1t is
very rare that dinner party prefers to sit
and listen to inteTminable speeches, for it
is almost as hard to listen as to talk when
the stomach is full of the heavy food of
feast. Nothing but stimulating drink
loosens the tongue under such circum
stances, or puts a company into that sen
sitively appreciative mo"d which responds
to buncomOe and pathos. The drinking
which is rts0rted TO for making these
occasions enGurab!e, is often shameful
and always demoralizlng. Not a good
of all, nobody enlOV9
it. speakers and hearers dislike it, and
still the castom is continued. 1t is like
the grand dress parties, which nobody
likes, yet which all attend and give, TO
the Infinite boring of themselves and their
friends.


The discourtesies often visited upon
gentlemen at public dinner parties, de-
serves an earnest protest. Men are called
to their feet not only against their known