smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1877

AN AWKWARD PAUsE.-A young gen
tleman undertook to relate a circumstance
one Sunday evening in the presence of
young ladies, and he commenced as fol-
lows:


ga lady friend and myself went to
Bed"


With sudden spring the old lady
bounced him out of the house. The next
day the old gentleman met him on the
street and asked for an apology.


81 was about to say" commenced the
young man, "that lady friend and my
self went to Bed" when a thrust from
the old mans cane started him back sew
eral feet, upon which..he exclaimed at top
of his voice:


"a lady friend and myself went to Bed
ford street church, you old fool"
Year: 1877

How TO WASH CAL1co.-1fa a calico dress
is washed carelessly, starched stiff, summed 8
day or two, and half ironed, i. is not a very
comely sight. But if quickly dried 10 the
shade. very tbinly and evenly starched, and
ironed on the wrong side so that it will not
shine, i. will look like new dress for q long
time. Many pretty blue prints and eapbrics
fade when washed in the usual way. Hthey
are washed the first time in strong salt and
water. or wster TO which little beefs gall is
added. the color will be set 80 that they viii
always be as handsome as at first, and can be
washed ever after like other colored goods.
Year: 1877

Spiders have been noted so long as
spinners of the finest of silk, that it
strikes one little oddly to think of one
as paper-maker. But hear this true
story that has just been told to me:


In the heart of the African continent,
where no other paper is manufactured,
the spider paper-maker does her quiet
work. Back and forth, over a fiat sur
face about an inch and half square, on
the inside wall Of hut, the square is
covered with a pure white paper. Un-
der this she places from forty to fifty
eggs; and then, to fasten the square of
paper more securely to the wall, sire
makes strip of paper about a quarter
of an inch square, and with this CLUES
the square carefully around the edges.


When all is done, the spider-which is
quite large one-places herself on the
center of the outside of the little fiat
bag 30 carefully made, and begins a
watch, which is to last for three weeks
without intermission. Apparently the
Young spiders would have many dangers
10 fear, did not their anxious mamma
wage a free war upon the cockroaches
and other insects that come near. After
three weeks of unrcmitting watchful-
ness. the mother-spider leaves her nest
in the day-timts to hunt food, but she
ALWAYS returns at night, until her young
are strong enough to take care of them.
selves" Jack.m The Pulpit" 81. Nicko
lds.
Year: 1877

Now, over one hundred trains day pas
over that road, and no conscientious man,
however skillful, would take his engine
over it at night unless he we're thor
oughly acquainted with every foot of
the track"


THE IDIOsYNCRACY OF a LOCOMOTIVE.


"Is not travelling at night alway
more dangerous than by daylight%


"Not always Under some circum-
stances | suppose it might be. But |
would rather take my engine over the
road at night. | have run night ex-
press for years, prefer it to anything
else. An engine always works better at
night. for some reason. They say it il
so with all machinery. know it is al
ways so with n locomotive. An engineer
who is familiar with his road knows just
as well where he is at night as when he
can see. can tell by the sound of the
wheels on the track about where am on
tho road, ! can sec n danger signal
further off at night than in daylight |
tell you, sir, there is always danger IN
our business, and there ought to be a
law forbidding the companies employing
any man to run an engine who has not
passed an examination and received a
license. The newspapers can make em,
and they ought to do it.--N Y HcrdM
Year: 1877

The Pail Nall Gazette relates how q
trouble to find out at what hour during
the summer the commonest small birds
wake up and begin to sing. The result
riser Of all is the greenfinch. who proba-
bly, imagines that he may make up for
the thinness Of his voice and the monot-
ony OF his strains by being first In the
field. At any rate, he tunes up and
gets to work at his feeble piping at
about balf-past ! q. M. hours before the
more robust and melodious species Of
fnches are ready for work. The black
cap is to be heard at half.past Q, or
thereabouts; and half an hour later
the quail makes his first attempt
at o musical performance. II Is nearly
4 O'Clock before the first real songster
appears, in the person of the blaekbird.
The vigorous notes Of this performer
are to be heard about half an hour be-
fore those Of the thrush; and the chirp
OF the robin is about the same length
Of time before that of the wren. Final
ly, the house-sparrow and the tomtit
occupy the last place on the list.
Hitherto early risers have always been
exhorted to take the lark as their ex-
ample; but the lark is shown to be COM
paratfvely sluggard. He can never be
heard, like the greenfinch, actually be-
fore the break Of day; and, except on 81
very sunny morning, it does not appear
that he rises, in any sense of the word,
until long after chaffinches, linnets, and
q number of the hedge-row birds have
been up and about.
Year: 1877

Divorces on the Utah plan have re-
Gently become very popular with people
who can't live together, but several Of
the Eastern and Western State courts
have pronounced such unlimbering not
exactly in accordance with true legal
principles. A Salt Lake City CORE
spondent of the Chicago Inter Ocean
throws some light ON the Utah plan.
He says:


"In this county over three hundred
divorces have been granted since Janu-
ary 1, 1877, and in Box, Elder and Puro,
each have done, 1t is said, three times
this amount; and at Beaver 1t is claimed
there has been even more of this busi-
ness done than in any OF the others.
The exposure OF these records will show
an unprecedented outrage OF law and
decency. The mOdns Operd1ldi has been
something like this: A gentleman or
lady In Chicago makes an affidavit that
he or she intends to become q resident
Of Utah; that they cannot live
peaceably Or pleasantly with their
wife or husband; that they were
married at such q time, and when
last heard from he or she was
residing at such place. The judge
orders that notice of this complaint
shall be served on the party, with ten
days to answer In. The time Is not al
ways sufficient If they received the no.
tice to appear. besides 1t would entail an
expense OF $500 If the party resided in
New York. But in a great majority Of
the cases these notices are sent to fic-
titious or wrong places, and the first
notice received is the bill of divorce.


"In some OF the home cases man
and wife have eaten breakfast together,
and had their bill of divorce before
dinner"


This is quite as bad as polygamy it.
self, and certainly @ monstrous source
Of immoral practice. In fact, it is q
very beastly arrangement, which should
be extinguished.
Year: 1877

Just before I left White Sulphur a
gentleman whose daughter was one Of
the bellies of the place explained to my
mother and self the etiquette of love-
making at the White Sulphur. He said
it was understood by both gentlemen
and ladies that no matter how far a
gentleman might go In profession OF
love for lady, neither she nor any one
else was to understand him seriously,
but to take it for granted that he was
merely desirous of paying the lady q
compliment. It being admitted that
the highest compliment man can pay
a woman is to ask her to marry him,
gentlemen desirous of carrying the lam
guage of fiattery to its utmost limit
sometimes even asked that important
question, but it was distinctly under
stood that he was not to be taken at his
word. "If," continued my informant,
"a man is in earnest in his desire to
marry lady to whom he pays atten-
tion here, he will not ask her while she
is at this place, but will wait until after
her departure, because, owing to the
etiquette I have explained, she would
not believe him to be serious If he put
the question here"
Year: 1877

The expression of Frightening one to
death" is generally supposed to be as
extravagant as ''dying Of q broken
heart" Perhaps both are within the
scope of possibility and the realm of
boys wanted to frighten off some other
boys who were robbing their pigeon
roosts. They blackened their faces and
waited for the pigeon thieves at night.
As the thieves did not come promptly,
the MASKED boys thought they would
tie girl Of twelve years named Katie
Graebe, who happened to be at hand
for the experiment. They appeared
unto her with q rush and yell, and Katie
fell senseless and has had no sense
since. 1t is feared that she has been
frightened into complete idiocy, il, in
deed, she lives over the shock. The
boys are also nearly frightened to death
at what they have un willingly done.
Year: 1877

Young soapsuds and old nicotine have
proved fatal in the case Of an English
lad at Dartmouth Park. He saw some
children blowing soap bubbles on a
neighbours doorstep and borrowed q
clay pipe from his father, which he
soon broke. He then returned for
another and his father gave him an old
wooden pipe which had been lying ON
shelf for q year. In an hour the child
was very sick, vomiting and becoming
end Of the third day the little fellows
sufferings came to an end. The ply
sician testified at the inquest that the
child died from imbibinG nicotine con-
tanned in the old wooden pipe.
Year: 1877

Although the Spanish Armada was
destroyed as long ago as 1888, an annual
sermon Of thanks given for it's destruc-
ton is still regularly preached in the
Church Of st. Mary le- Bone, Cheapside,
London. This is done In order to com
ply with the terms Of the will of old Mr..
Chapman, who died in 1911, leaving a
liberal bequest to the church. Ii the
regular Armada sermon were any year
to be omitted, Chapman's heirs would
sweep down on the church and claim
the amount Of the legacy, with interest,
which would now make nice little bill
of about sixteen times as much as the
church originally received.
Year: 1877

can man. When ne married he took his
wife's name and added Peter, choosing
that name because Peter, like himself,
followed the water for living. He was
born Sow Ching, and from the drift OF
his conversation it WAS inferred that
Miss johnson objected to going down to
posterity as Mrs. Sow Ching. Murray,
the Italian, didn't know how he came
fed Willingness to stick by the name.
Year: 1877




The grand jury yesterday returned a
true bill of indictment against Philip
Helfrich, a downtown barkeeper, for
violating the Moffett whis KY law. The
Indictment in precise terms charges
"that Philip Helfrich, on the 10Th Sep
mber. did sell and deliver to one War
rem l.. Wheelwright, one drink of malt
liquor, and unlawfully did then and
there wilfully fail Immediately upon
the sale Of said drink Of malt liquor in
the presence of said Warren L. Wheel
wright, to turn the crank of the proper
register until the bell thereof had
struck once, and the indicator on the
dial of said register had moved one
point for the said one drink of malt
lIquor sold by him to the aforesaid Philip
Helfrich as aforsaid, the said Philip
Heifrich being then and there a bar
room keeper and licensed bar-room
liquor dealer"


Mr.. Helfrich's defense is that he did
not turn the crank because his register
was out Of order and would not work.
Year: 1877

The Rome Sentinel says that Kelley
motor consists OF a pound of boarding
house butter shut up In an iron box.
This statement will do much to restore
confidence in the power Of the motor.
Year: 1877

ct, | arose to my feet, and went to the
corner of the barn opposite the one in
the field.


Il rightly conjectured that they
would fire the barn first, if at all, for
all they had to do was to remove few
loose stones from the foundation and
apply a match to the hay in the NOW.


II had stood there about fifteen
minutes when I heard the rattle Of
stones in the field.


81 crept cautiously upon my hands
and knees along the front of the barn.


~'There We're three men. Two were
standing erect while the other was
bent forward removing the the stones
from the foundation.


"Then | heard his muttered COM
mand to strike match, quick!


"At that moment the moon was
over clouded, and all was darkness.


II could see the flicker of the match,
as they huddled together to protect it
from the wind.


"a cold sweat was upon me, and my
hand trembled so with excitement that
| could hardly hold my revolver.


"a moment lost and their villainy
would be accomplished, and I would
be branded rs coward.


'"This latter thought nerved me.


"The match hared up brightly in
his hand, and as he leaned forward to
apply it, crack bang my revolver
rang out on the still air. and with a
groan and a muttered curse, the vii
lain sank to the earth, shot through
the breast.


"Thc other two, for the moment,
were 50 stunned with surprise, that
they stood as if rooted in their tracks,
and then started pell NELL across the
the field


"The severe strain upon my nervous
system had been so great, that after
the discharge Of my revolver, I be-
came faint my brain reeled; l sank
to the ground, just as l saw a light
flash in Mr.. Pierce's window, and saw
three men, who had unknown to me
been stationed outside to give me
help should | need it, bound out with
yell, and rush across the field.


"When | came to, was lying in Mr..
Pierce's house, with his wife standing
over me.


"ln answer to my inquiries she tod
me that had shot Baker, who was so
seriously hurt as to be unable to move
from the place where he fell, and the
men had succeeded in catching the
other two, and they were all lodged
in the village Jail.


"After a good sleep, I awoke in the
morning, like Byron, to find myself
famous.


81 was congratulated on all sides for
my bravery. AS soon as Baker was
sufficiently recovered from his wound
he with his confederates, who proved
to be two notorious Chicago burglars,
was placed on trial, found guilty, and
sentenced to twenty years imprison
ment in the state prison.


have had many thrilling adventures
since then; I regard them as tame,
compared with My tNE NIGHT A
WATcHMAN."
Year: 1877

: -'N~N


Every Description Of Real Estate
In a section of country unsurpassed
for health, scenery and fertility 1t
is remarkably free from all malarious
and pulmonary diseases. Its pure
bracing air, fine springs Of fresh cool
water, short mild winters and long
seasonable summers, its gentle noun
tain slopes and rich valleys, its forests
and fields, its flowers of spring and
varied hues # autumn,-all combine
to place this region of country in the
front rank Of superiority and beauty
to the colonist and home seeker.


We continue this week our list of
the very attractive properties for sale
by this agency, in both the far famed
Piedmont and Valley regions of Vir-
ginia.
Year: 1877

Mr.. Editor With but one feeling
could the intelligent and honest peo-
pie Cf the entire State have received
the announcement that Montgomery
Blair would be a candidate for the
next Legislature. For, surely, the
time has come to place at the helm Of
our ship Of State an able and efficient
officer, and to man her with the best
men that can be had for the positions,
if we would bring her ont Of the foul
waters of legislative chicanery and
jobbefy into which she has been run 6v
the incompetent, corrupt and. mer-
cenary crews that have guided her
course in recent years. The mention
Of this name in connection with our
legls .atlve nominations would seem to
augur q better era for the affairs of
our State and it is to be hoped that
the counties, specially of Western
Maryland, will immjtate the example
of Old Montgomery and cast an eye
around to see if the services of their
best men too, cannot be availed of,
before making up their tickets for the
campaign. A Maulsby, a LongwaI.
a RltcAie, Hamilton, a Syestcr, d
Gordon, a Johnson or Hoffman,
would be. as legislators, worth more
to the people of their section and
State, than a dozen Of the calib,e
usually sent. And as it has pleased
the State to honor them all by the
highest Offices in her gift, they owe
to her in return their best services
when the welfare Of her people is at
stake, and the prestige of her name
amongst the States Of this Union, has
almost lost its force and tame. That
the office has been shorn of its dig
nifty is true, and disagreeable would
be to them many Of the surroundings
and associat ons with which they
would necessarily be brought into
contact, but if these considerations
are to prevail over sense of patriot
ism, and just pride in the reputation
Of the State, then surely shall we go
on in our degenerated course till the
name Of our State becomes a by word
and reproach amongst men every
where. That such is no idle fear, but
the real danger to our institutions
and individual interests from the in
competency and venality of such men
as have heretofore been selected to
make our laws, is evinced by the re-
cent nominations in Baltimore city,
against which even the democratic
organs of that city, without exception,
felt it their duty to protest. This
is the body of men-twenty-one in
number-which forms the nucleus of
combinations in the interest of job
berry and class legislation, where in
huence can be bought for a price and
by whom agreeable insinuations and
promises to reciprocate favors in the
future, the cooperation of the more
honest but simpler members from the
country is secured to aid in the pass
age of bill, the aims and purposes of
which he knows or cares nothing. BY
the nomination and election of such
men as we have mentioned the opnor-
tunities for these times will be few, and
.l.......-.t. g ~,
Year: 1877

The Bondholdels pay no tax on their
bonds, they are class of exempts, who
take all and return nothing to the body
p,litic Like horse leeches, they now want
ten per cent more from the PEOPLE than
any other creditor, by means Of dishones
legislation,
Year: 1877

A man with long overcoat on and q
horsewhip in his hand entered bank
near the postoflice yesterday and present
ed check calling for $40, which he had
received from a commission house.


Please endorse it, said the cashier
as he handed il back.


I'll endorse it, of course replied the
man, holding up his right hand as II ready
to swear.


Write your endorsement, explained
the clerk, pointing to the desk outside.


'Oh-oh-that's it, eh?' And he went
to the desk and slowly and carefully wrote
on the back of the check:


This is awl right


When the cashier entered into clear
er explanation the man drew down his
hat. got red IN the face and growled:


Darn 'em They just hate to let a
cent slip out o. here, and don't you tor
Get it r-Detroit Free Press.
Year: 1877


that rash act He persists that the chiId's
death resulted from the treatment he had
received at the hands OF the sailors"


"And what shall wo doP" asked the
anxious wife.


al hardly know as yet. We will nail
Squando's moccasin on the door. and see
what the Indians propose to do. They
may relent. The whites are strong now.
aud that fact may influence Squando to
content himself with molesting only
those who stray into the forest"


And there the matter dropped. For
several weeks no Indians were seen but
at last, one evening, bright light far
away towards The Cape indicated the
burning of some building. and then the
settlers knew that trouble had come
The alarm guns at the block house were
discharged, and by the next morning the
people who had not already been attacked
fled to its shelter. Philip Coates alone
remained away.


The next afternoon SquandO came to
their door and glanced in. when Philip
asked him to enter. and pr, lvred him
food and drink. lie had found the fire
water OF some of tho whites. aad his eye
burned unnaturally bright. He pointed
I to the scalps at his belt, and then to the
mocasin on the door, and moved away


Night after night the work OF deslruc-
ton went on. Many of the settlers fear
ing general war, aed to Massachuset 8,
and the little colony dwindled down to a
few families VINO lived in the Immediate
vicinity of the block-house. And still
Philip Coates suffered no Inconvenience.
His cattle ted on the salt marsh before
the door as safely as in times OF peace.
and his corn spriuging through the ground
was not trampled and destroyed as was
that of his neighbors. The Indians
passed his dwelling each night on their
raids upon the settlers, but 30 sign 81
hostility was offered towards him. His
oaiy fear was that some of the drunken
.relches might violate Squando's truce,
but realizing that it would be useless 10
borrow trouble until the evil came, be
worked on as it the land were quiet, and
none but peaceful indications surrounded
nis home at the mouth OF the Saco. lie
scarcely dared venture to the Cape, fear
ing that he might arouse the old sache ms
anger by an apparent lack OF confidence
aud go the weeks dragged along without
his attempting to communicate with
,hem. His clearing was tho larthest one
from the block-house Of any in the set
tlement and the inmates in the stockade
concluded as the time wore on and nc did
not appear. that his cabin had been des-
troyed. aud the family fallen prey to
the fury OF the aroused savages.
Year: 1877

primitive denizens OF the forest, none il
brighter than the fidelity Of Sqnando, the
sachem OF the Sokokis, towards the
woman who had looked kindly on his
child.


The old moccasin. relic OF an age
long since passed away, is still held as q
treasured heirloom in prominent York
family, and is pointed out with pride as
proof of the authenticity of the legend
of SQUANDo's TRUCE.
Year: 1877

William Penn was one OF the best
men WHO ever lived. He could rob the
Indians of entire territories of land with
out making any sort OF disturbance.
Now it takes full regiment of cavalry
and brigadier.gene to gel! mule
away from red man. sas
Year: 1877

ACCIDENTALLY SHoT.-On Saturday
evening, Lewis Hickey, residing at 214
Tatnall street, was accidentally shot in
the right hand while walking up Orange
street. Upon visiting him this morning
he gave the following account Of the ac-
cident: While walking up Orange street
between Second and Third, he noticed a
young man just ahead of him who ap-
peared to be acting very strangely, and
when quite near him he heard the stran-
ger remark, II have got no business in
this world" and drawing a revolver from
his pocket pointed it at his breast as
though he contemplated suicide. l then
ran up and caught hold of the pistol !;
he told me to let 60 or it would 60 of,
and Immediately it exploded, the bali
passing clear through my hand. The
above are all the facts that could be OBJ
tanned Of the affair, and the whole thing
still remains a mystery.
Year: 1877

A MYsTERY.--Yesterday while the
crowd was waiting at the depot, engine
No. 80 to which chair car was attached
drew up to the depot with all the blinds
closed, and while the engine was taking
water, the conductor and brakesman
stood upon the platforms and would al
low no one to see inside of the car.


= Who was in the car is unknown. 1t is
supposed that it came from Washington
and was going to New York.
Year: 1877

Dear wife, it don't seem long ago
Since you were Jen and l was Joe;
And as the happy thoughts go back
To where we started down life's track,
| cannot find along the way
One cloud that darkened any day,
But that our love soon put to fight
The hideous monster from our sight.
And so 1 thought while sitting here
Of those old days to US SO dear,
And how beneath the moons pale glow
Your lips first dared to whisper Joe;
All, wife, hcw happy [ was then
As 1 replied and called yop Jen;
Bat that was fifty years ago,
And you were Jen and was Joe.
Yes, wife, full fifty years have gone
Since life was full of dreams and song,
Without thought or any fears
But that we'd love through coming years;
And though love-dreams are oft untrue,
We guessed much better than some do;
You said we'd love all through our life,
And so we have, my precious wife.
But time so alters everything
That thoughts alone can old times bring
And when I've nothing else to do
/ bring them up in sweet review;
And / suppose twill ever be
While life shall cling to you and me;
Wen not forget that long ago
When you were Jen and 1 was Joe.