Year: 1877




revived the dropping spirits of the


aged tramp, and unlocked the


stream of conversation which the


cold charities of the world had


frozen up. fitting his chair back


he said: "The people of the oil


regions appear to get along slick.


Everywhere / have been things


look comfortable and home-like,


and business seems TO be crowding


right ahead" With this as a


starter, the old man carried the
conversation through State and


national politics, literature, etc.


81 like my meat well DONE" he


suggested TO the cook, who he


observed was preparing to lift his
steak from the stove "and that


reminds me-" he went on, "that the


Russians are pursuing an under


done, wishy-washy course on


the banks of the Danube" He


frightened the cord that held his


coat together in lieu of buttons,
happed an ear to unset trouble
some fly, and continued. DOG
my cats if it doesn't make me half
mad at the Gar If l lad COM


mand of that army, do you know
what / would do?" and he shut one
eye and glared at the lady of the
house inquiringly as catechism.


No one seemed to know. Il
would push right across" exclaim-
ed the old man, stricking the sink
with his fist, "and if | wouldn't
make them greasy Turks hunt their
holes there's no hereafter. All it
requires is pontoon bridge and a
little git up and go long Mary
Jane" His breakfast was ready.
and, thrusting his legs under the
table with the air of man who
had just bought the house and lot
and paid the money down, he har-
pooncd roasted potato and con-
tinued: "Old lIopaudgoletchit,
who has command of the Russian
Zouaves, is in the best position in
the world to skip right along into
Constantinople and take possession
of the Court House. l would do
it-l swear to gracious | would do
it, and he reached out and captur-
ed a hard boiled egg. 81 would do
it so quick it would make their
everlasting heads swim. Then ]
would take a run across the Med
iterranean, flop down on the Suez
canal boats, tear up the tow-path
and take possession of the mules.
Then across the country to the
Gulf of Mexico. l would fly as
hurricane, leaving death and
desolation in my-see here, Susan"
he said breaking short and address
ing the nurse-girl, "for the love of
heaven don't hold the babby with
his head down"


The old gent continued to draw
in the victuals like a man who
hadn't tasted bit for six months
and talking in a way to turn a
book agent green with envy. He.
told the woman what Congress
ought to do when it meets, and
finally showed away from the table,
wiped his lips on the cloth and ask
ed if they had an old pair of
pants that wasn't bagged at the
knees. The pants were hunted up
and handed to him by the lady of
the house, who in turn asked if he
would go out into the garden-patch
and kill a few potato-bugs for her.


"Potato-bugs," he said, as he
gathered up his hat and passed to
the door "potato bugs are some
thing with which l have had no
experience. / don't know one
from a jay bird. But a friend of
mine will be a long here about
noon who can kill more potato
bugs in a minute than you can
shake a stick at. I'll leave a chalk
mark on the gate post and he will
call. Ta-ta," and the aged tramp
tipped his hat gayly and was of,
his stomach sticking out in front of
him like bay window.