Year: 1874

No MANNERS are so fine as the most
awkward manifestations of goodwill
toward men.


A ooMPosrToR en- st. Louis paper
made an editor say that "this war-cry is
the keyhole of victory"


MRS PARTINeToN says that on Thanks
giving days she allows Ike to " fill him.
self to his utmost rapacity."
WEDDING fees are said to rank low this
year; in prudent remembrance, doubt
| less, of the high price of divorce.
RELOCATED to the quietude of his own
residence" is what they call ii in De-
troit when candidate is defeated.
A MIssoURIAN offers $3.50 and three
mules as a bridal gift to any woman who
will marry him and love him for himself
alone.


In riding on the "rail," alw ays take a
scat Just in front of fat old gentleman.


In case of collision he breaks the hurt
wonderfully.


THE Agricultural Bureau estimates the
average value of horses in this country at
$71 AS head. Wen take pair at that
| fgure.-Boston Post.


DoCToRs now claim that it is healthy
to eat two whole mince pies and hunk
of cold beef just before going to bed.
They know how to get practice.
ONE THOUSAND shingles laid four
inches to the weather will cover 100
square feet of surface, and five pounds
of shingle nails will fasten them on.
BECAUSE man deserves success is not
the best reason why he will achieve it.


If men we're to get all they deserve in
this world too many of them would be
hung.


THERE is probably not an unexplained
| young rascal in the world who does not
at times feel that his mother is a con-
venience which he could not possibly
| dispense with.


You thought that the word "honesty"
was hollow mockery, ehI Know ye, then,
that a San Francisco car driver grieved
himself to death because he was charged
| with stealing.


Now NOBODY can deny to his fellow
man the luxury of scratching 1t is in
cluded in that pursuit of happiness"
for which our Revolutionary fathers
| fought and bled.


THERE is demand on genius for the


invention OF power-accumulating wind.
mill, by which the power can be stored


up when the wind blows, to be used con-


tiuuously and regularly.


OF course woman does't want her
plants to freeze, but still one can't blame


a man for raising a row when he hops
out of bed in the morning and finds a


geranium plant in each trousers leg.
| A SOLUTION of pearlash in water


thrown upon a fire extinguishes it in
stantly. The proportion is quarter of


pound dissolved in hot water and then


poured into bucket of common water.


This test" says the Practical Farmer,


is considered infallible: No COW with
| a deep yellow skin has yet been known


to give poor milk" Yellow skinned cows


and yellow-legged chickens are the right


kinds.


| A CINCINNATI woman used to think


paralysis a dangerous thing, but since


her husband comes home twice a week


with such a stroke of it that he has to


be carried up the steps she rather scotts


at paralysis.


THE fact that the elephantic race is
dying out suggests the awful question


When the pachydermatous animals are


extinct what will the little boys care for


the circus2 or big ones for the billiard


tournament?


WHILE ten men watch for chances, one


man makes chances; while ten men wait


for something to turn up, one turns


something up; So while ten fail, one


succeeds and is called man of luck


the favorite of fortune. There is no luck


like pluck aud fortune most favors those


who are most Indifferent to fortune.


THE Cincinnati Enquirer says: Bon


ner, of the New York Ledger, is respon'


sible for much of the prevailing distress


For years young people have been read


ing his delusive romances and his advice


to marry young, and now there are thou


sands of people with large families on theil


hands and nothing to eat but New YORK
Ledgers."


THERE is more human nature in thi


remark than is often found in so brief


space: Determined beforehand, W,


gravely pretend to ask the opinion ant
thoughts of friend; should his diffe


from ours on any pretense, we pity hi
want both of judgment and sense; bu


if he falls into and tlatters our plan, Why
really, we think him sensible man"
, THE only thoroughly blighted being i
the young man who has been deceived il
a meerschaum. When he has eXpende,
: his money in purchasing the costly com
( fort, when he has consumed tobacc
1 enough to unsettle the nerves of a rh
A noceros, and the stubborn pipe still rt
. fuses to color, demonstrating to him tn
{ fact that he has been sold, then does tn
| hollowness of this world and all tina
e therein is become fully and disgustingl


apparent.


: IT is said that a good sizing, whic
e will make an old wood building loo
G like new, and makes good body fo
S paint, can be made as follows: TIE
e pounds glue, twenty-five pounds whiting
: one gallon soft soap, three gallons watel
r boil gently till all is dissolved. Appl
g hot with large paint brush. By lea
d ing out whiting and substituting an
It earth paint you get any desired colo
n This of itself will last for years, but b
d giving il good coat of paint you have
c building as good as new outwardly,
. A FEW brutal remarks by fashiC
,, critic: Fancy fashionable gentlemS
i with mess of greasy, filthy false ha
4 hanging over and soiling beyond Il
h limit of decency the collar and shou
n ders of a 5000 coat t-supposing for Il
u sake of illustration that it would be pc
i sible to find one costing so much mon'
q or with his trousers legs trailing
~ the dust and mud, making his hosie
4 and underwear so abominably wet al