Year: 1878

1 did not marry for love. Very few
people do, so in this respect 1 am
neither better nor worse than my
neighbor. No, 1 certainly did not
marry for love; 1 believe I married
Mr.. Cartwright simply because he
asked me.


This was how 1t happened. He was
the rector of Doveton, and we lived at
the Manor House, which was about
ten minutes walk from the church and
rectory. We had daily service at
Doveton, and nearly always attend
ed it, and it came TO pass that Mr..
Cartwright invariably walked home
with me. 1t was matter Of custom
now, and thought nothing of it; it
pleased him, and on the whole it was
rather pleasant to me also.


must confess, however, l was rath-
er surprised when, one morning as we
got to the avenue which led to the
Manor House, Mr.. Cartwright asked
me to be his wife.


have never been able to find out
why 1 said yes, but did perhaps l
thought it pity to throw away SO
much love; perhaps it was because he
was so terribly in earnest that dared
not refuse him; perhaps 1 feared his
pale face, and his low, pleading voice
would ever haunt me if l rejected his
love; or, perhaps, it was because he
only asked me to marry him-he did
not ask me if loved him, for l think
he guessed did not; perhaps it was
all these reasons put together, but any
how l said yes, and in due time we
were married.


Iought to have been very happy,
for he was most devoted husband,
but l was not, and though l did not
notice it then, l know now that for six
months after our marriage he was not
happy either.


It was all my fault either would
not or could not love him; accepted
all his deyotion to me as a matter of
course, but made no effort to return
it; and I am sure he had found out
that he had made mistake in marry
ing a woman who did not love him.


One morning, about six months af-
ter our marriage. he told me at break
fast that he intended leaving me alone
for a few weeks.to to stay with his moth
er, who was not very we'll. He watched
the effect of this announcement on
me. I concealed my annoyance, and
asked carelessly when he would start.


He replied, the next day, if had
no objection, and so it was settled.


He was more affectionate than usual
that day, and was colder than ever;
1 only once alluded to his journey,
and that was to ask him if l might
haye my sister Maud to stay while he
was gone.


The next morning 1 was anxious to
avoid formal parting, so l drove to
the station with him. AS the train
moved off, remembered this was our
first parting since our marriage, and l
wished 1 had not been so cold.


When 1 got home the house looked
so dreary and empty, and there was
no one to meet me; presently one of
the servants came for the shawls, and
with her Nero, Mr.. Cartwright's re-
triever, who, when he saw l was alone,
set up howl for his master. pat
ted him and tried to com fort him, feel
ing rebuked by his grief, as he fol-
lowed me, whining, into the house.
Every room seemed empty, and each
spoke of the absent master. At last
l wandered into his study, where he
spent his mornings and liked me to sit
and work and now 1 remembered
how often l had excused myself, say
ing 1 preferred the drawing-room,
and this reflection did not add to my
happiness.


There was photograph of me stand
ing on bis writing-table, and another
on the chimney piece; On the walls
hung two or three of my drawings,
which he had begged of me when we
were engaged; indeed, the room was
full of little remembrances of me; l
opened book l had given him, and
in it was his name in my handwriting.
and underneath in his own, From my
darling wife, l laid it down with q