Year: 1879




lutely essential to my peace OF mind, ano
yours-aye, perhaps, even to"


He checked himself abruptly. "Lucy," he
continued, in a softer tone, releasing my arm
and drawing me to him as be spoke, "let III
forget that this alteration has. ever arisen
between US. Let us drop the whole subject o.
it. and be as we were before. I am willing te
forget that you have done anything contrary
to nv wishes. Do you also put aside the re
membrance of the harsh words I have spoken
and let there be nothing but harmony be
tween u.s. Do you consent to this p sS


"Ah!" 1 replied, eff you always spoke te
me in this way, it would not be hard for mt
to give up to you"


81 was not cross to you at first, was 1?
pleaded with you, in the beginning, as gently
as I knew how. But do you give up to me
in earnest now? Are you satisfied :"


What could I say? I was certainly moi
satisfied. could not be while his confidence
was still withheld. He had given me no ex
PLANTATION, and it seemed vain for me to hope
for one. But was weary Of the contest, anc
his love and favor promised peace-the re
stored peace for which longed. After all
putting duty aside, there can be no happiness
for me outside of his affection; no misery
equal to knowing that my conduct has for
feited it. So yielded-yielded uncondition
ally, and for while forgot the justice Of my
cause, in the joy Of knowing that. this, ou'
first, and hope our last quarrel, was at al
end.


So resolved am I to give him no farther
cause for displeasure-to avoid even the shad
ow of another difference between us-that
have, at his dictstion, written an excuse tx
Mrs. Holcombe, without giving her the leas
explanation of refusal, which must make
me appear to her either Intentionally rude, Of
totally ignorant of the laws of good breeding
Perhaps she will place more charitable con
struction on my conduct, and suppose me tt
be crazy. Well, let it beso. Ralph is salts
fled, and that, henceforth, shall be my stan
dard of behavior.


April 9th. As NIGH have been expected
I have neither seen or heard anything o
the Holcombes since my note was sent o.
course they will never seek me out again.
am so ashamed, so mortified, that I think
Ralph would pity me if he could penetrate
my feelings But never, by word or sign, vii
l betray them to him.


May 18th. My journal has been inter
rupted by delightful little tour through th'
mountains, which Ralph has made as enjoya
BILE for me as possible. He has been abso
lutely lover like in his attentions; and this
be it understood, is different sort of devo
ton from that which even the fondest O
husbands is apt to manifest. He has watch
ed my every look, anticipating my slightes
wish, and showing his solicitude for my com
fort and happiness in every way. Whether
he has meant it as an atonement, l do no
know, but do know that he is dearer to me
if possible, than ever, and that never, never
never again shall cloud arise between III
that can prevent. No, his tenderness is to-
precious to me to be ever again forfeited by
any act of mine. 1 feel that I am indeed
the centre Of his joy, his life; and knowing
this what more can desire?


To my relief, found, on our return, thai
the Holcombes had left this place, not to re
turn. Now l can breathe freely once more.


May 9th. Since writing that, Ralph hal
been ill. Not very dangerously ill, but suf
6ciently so to excite my keenest anxiety, te
make me feel, with pang passing descrip
ton, how fearful thing it would be for me
to lose him! Oh in the hours of the night
on which most trembled for his safety, how
in the solemn silence of my vigil, did my
heart rise up and condemn me for every un
kind word l had ever uttered, every wilfu
act which had ever caused him pain! How
hauntingly came to my ears the dread warn
ing of the time when we two, so closely
bound together, must be parted, and how
bowed beneath the fear that that hour might
be at hand! And oh, when my terror was
lightened, and all danger, if danger there
was, was past, with what burst of thankful
ness did I fall on my knees and praise my
Creator for his mercy!


l feel that I have been very wicked.
have thought too much of my earthly estate
of earthly joys and cares. But henceforth il
shall not be so. will 60 back to my former
habit of serving and praisng God, from
whose hand I have received such abundant
tokens of goodness and mercy. And oh, that
my darling Ralph may be led also to think
more of these things. l fear have not suf
fciently tried to direct his attention to them


May 30th. Ralph's convalescence has been
a tranquil, happy time. read aloud to him
every day, and then we have such charming
talks. We have arranged regular plan o.
reading for the summer; and every now and
then we will recreate ourselves by little
jaunt like the one we lately took. Only
shall not let Ralph fatigue himself again al
he did then, for I feel almost sure it had
something to do with his illness; and he did
it just to save me from fatigue To-day he
is so much better that he has gone out, fol
the first time, for a walk.


I am as happy now as can be, and &C
singing over the house all day long.


June I'd. This morning l asked Ra' ph
casually, how long he supposed we would re
main here.


"Don't you like the place, dear?" he asked
in return.


"Oh, yes, very much" replied.