smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1866

RUM.-A Norwegian, by the name of
Tanglc Tangleson, not having the fear Of
God before his eyes, and doubtless being
uery dry, proceeded one night last week
with felonious and burglarious intent, to
forcibly effect an entrance into the cellar of
Stephen Benefits saloon in this village :;
and succeeding to his utmost satisfaction,
he feloniously ard burglariously distracted
and carried away, a five gallon keg of rum
He conveyed it to the brush adjoining the
village, where he was found the next morn
ing paost glorioasly drunk lie was arrest
ed and taken before Police Justice Lean,
and required to give his reasons for such
an anusual and villianous transaction.


y-We should think by the following
drioc at the editor Of the Nd7omeaiaa, in
late number of sthat paper, that the edi-
tor-in-chief is away on furlough


y wag says that several thousand acres
Of land, owned by the father Of any girl is
sufficient grounds fer attachment He
who feels any such impulse for the sake of
the heirdom will certainly be stamped in
a reciprocal attachment. Learn to take a
joke when you can't help yourself


Colonel, that's rather rough, joking a
man through his own paper.
Year: 1866

In company with friend Bliss of
the Tribune, We paid visit 70 the zinc
furnace at Mineral Point few days ago
We were pleased to see everything looking
very prosperous and business Ike. The
zinc furnace, which We have heard so much
about, is, after all, quite an extensive af-
fair, and we are glad to hear that from
present indications, it is going to be en-
mincntly successful. The citizens Of Min
eral Point, and in fact, of the whole mining
district, may well feel proud of tic skill,
ingenuity, and enterprise ofRobert George,
the inventor Of the process, and manager
Of the works.
Year: 1866

THE Poor OF NFw YoRK-lIumanity cries
Shame :" when in these days of luxury and
extravaganza such facts as the following com"
to light. Would that there some law ~
which those who thus : grind the faces OF the
poor could be brought to speedy punishment
That they will eventually reap as they SOW
there is no doubt During the recent invcSti-
cation into the sanitary state of our city, was
n so-callcd improved tenement house. whose
owner stated that the halls were never lit, and
that they were almost totally dark during the
day.


What rent do you pay asked on" Of the
visitors.


"Seven dollars month answered the mo-
thcr, and We find it pretty hard to make
things meet and pay our expenses.


$ You work at artificial flower making,
see, remarked a gentleman " how much can
you make a day at that


"Wcll. said the woman g three can make
by working from seven o clock in the morning
until nine at night--ahout one dollar and a
quarter. We gt fre cents far erery t'relee
gross IRE mdkcr


This woman said that She was obliged to live
in such place, but that she knew that it was
one Of " the most horrible places on the face
Of the earth, -HurpcrS Hcckly.
Year: 1866

FACTS FOR THR CURIoUS.-Ifa talow can
die be placed in gun and shot at door, il
will go through without sustaining any injury
and if muskct ball be fred into water, it will
not only rebound, but be hattencd as if free
against solid substance


A musket ball may be fired through a pane
of glass, making the hole the size of the ball
without cracking the glass if the glass be sus
suspended BY thread, it will make no differ
ence, and the thread will not even vibrate. -
Cork, if sunk two hundred feet in the ocean,
will not rise on account Of the pressure of the
water.


In the arctic regions, when the Thermometer
is below zero, persons can converse more thar
mile distant. A mother has been distinctly
heard talking to her child, on still day, across
water a mile wide.
Year: 1866

IMPORTANT IF TRrE-A correspondent Of
the Scientific Amertcan says " If you have a
rent, or if you are towing it up stream. ali YOU
have TO do TO keep it dry Is this: bore a hole
through the bottom and insert a piece Of tin
or iron half round through the hole, lettin: il
extend few inches below the bottom of the
boat and all the water will run out without
any labor think a ship at sea could he kept
aAoat if you could keep her going four mile.
per hour"
Year: 1866

We seldom eat lunch but if you like some
thing nice in the middle of the day, take fine
oyster and wrap him in the thinne:t Jacket OF
the finest bacon-IaSten with the tlneSt silver
xnrv thin toast, and put him mto Dutch
oven Show him thr fire not too long and
sat him, multiplied, Of course, by the power ot
Y",r appetite There be worse things.
Year: 1866

A SOUTHERN OPIyIoN.-In letter to the New
York Day Book, Pollard, the rebel historian,
says 80 have attempted to show in "The Lost
Csuse p" that Mr.. Davis was unfit as ruler my
convictions on this point are strong; and shall
die in the belief that the political affair at Rich
mond was the most sattern thing that ever went
by the name of government in the history of the
civilized world -
Year: 1866

SELL.-The stars did not fall on any night
this week, as announced Somebody rang the
Catholic Church bell at o'clock on Friday NOR
ming. We did not get up, but learn from par
ties who diG that it very dark and that no
stars were visible.
Year: 1866

THS fine steamship Colorado is undergoing ex-
tensire alterations, preparatory to taking her
place in the San Francisco and China mail SER
vice. The pioneer steamer of that line will sail
on the first day of January next.
Year: 1866

an Hope for the Affiioted.-IN another part OF
this paper will the advertisement of the celebrated
Institute established by Dr. j. c. Young in 1885, In thisage
charatanism it is boon to the suffering to
point where they of obtaining the wish
ed for relief and Under the of the skfu Doctor
the sick and troubled dves themselves of their burdens
of pain shame aside their and secure health


and happnes If you sick trouble do not hesi-
tate Read the and follow the advice Do not
forget number the Of directing your letter
CONSULTATION OFFICE, 536 Washington street san IRAN
c;sco 44.3msn.
Year: 1866

A wealthy lady had a tickling in her
throat, and thought that bristle of her


toothbrush had gone down and lodged in


her gullet. Her throat daily grew worse.
1t was badly inaamed, and she sent for the


family doctor. He examined it carefully,
and finally assured her that nothing was
the matter-itw was mere nervous delusion,
he said. Still her throat troubled her, and
she became so much alarmed that she was
sure she should die A friend suggested
that she should call in DR.. Jones, young
man just commencing practice. She did
not at first like the idea, but finally con-
scented, and DR.. Jones was called. He was
"a person ofgood address and polite man.
lners. He looked carefully at her throat,
asked her several questions as to the sensa-
ton sat the seat of the alarming malady,
and finally announced that he thought he


could relieve her in short time. On his
second visit he brought with him delicate


pair of forceps, in the teath of which he had
inserted bristle taken from an ordinary


tooth brush. The rest can be imagined


The lady threw back her head the forceps
we're introduced into her mouth a pick
"a loud scream and twas all over and


the young physician, with smiling face,


was holding up to the.light, and inspecting
with lively curiosity, the extracted bristle.
The patient was in raptures. She immedi-


ately recovered her health and spirits, and
went about every where sounding the prais-
ies Of cher savior" as she persisted in cal
ling the dexterous operator.
Year: 1866

81 noticed" said Franklin, "a mechan-
ic, among number of others at work on o
house erecting but little way from my Of
fee, who always appeared to be in merry
humor, who had kind word and cheer
full smile for every one he met. Let the
day be ever so, cold, gloomy or sunless, q
happy smile danced like sunbeam on his
cheerful countenance. Meeting him one
morning, asked him to tell me the secret
of his constant happy flow of spirits
!" No secret, DOCTOR" he replied. "I have
got one of the best of wives, and when
go to work. she always has kind word Of
encouragement for me, and whenI go home
she meets me with smile and kiss /; and
then tea is sure to be ready, and she has
done SO many little things through the day
TO pleasesme that / cannot find it in my
heart to speak an unkind word to anybody"
Year: 1866

LET THE NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT THE PREsI-
DENT.-The people have very empha scally
spoken throughout the country in favor Of the
Presidents veto. In public meetings like that
at Cooper Institute, and in smaller gatherings
at various points, with shouts and sound Of
cannon they have equally demonstrated that
they heartily endorse Mr.. JohnsOn's policy, and
we believe that his speech to the people in
Washington will greatly intensity the feeling Of
appreciation which is already abroad. II
remains now for the newspapers all over the
country to come out plainly and squarely in
support of the President in his conflict with q
revolutionary Congress. Men of all parties
have combined in the expression of a common
opinion upon Mr.. Johnson's course, and they
are all-with the exception Of the Jacobins-
in favor of 1t. Now is the time, then, for the
newspapers to come out boldly and explicitly
on behalf of the President, the constitution and
the restoration of the Union.
Year: 1866

The ART OF BorTIING on LARGE SCALE
The Loyal League and politicians here have
been industriously at work for long time to
cork General Grant up for their own use here
after Their last labors in this work was ON
Thursday. They trotted him out, monopolized
him, feasted him, and hardly gave him time to
breathe freely; and, doubtless they are con-
vinced that they have him well secured-tightly
corked up. Now, these sapient political wire
pullers and notoriety mongers cannot see that
the reverse is the case. General Grant has
been doing with them precisely what was done
to Butler, he has been quietly corking them up
while they imagined they were bottling him.
He has remarkable cool way of doing things,
and acts with all the reticence, strategy, and
foresight towards these politicians that he did
toward the rebels, but they can not see it.
They think to use him and he is using them.
He has surely corked them up till 1868, when
he will use them for his own purpose.
Year: 1866

field for the succession the politicians may as
well hang up their iddles and assist in re-
storing the integrity of the Union, for against
Grant and the administration all their little
Presidential schemes will come to nothing.
Year: 1866

We publish this morning In Supplement sheet
large batch highly interesting gosspy letters from
correspondents various parts of Europe regarding
politics aud politicians and artists fashion and the
the follies of the courts aud, indeed OF every
thing thai goes to make up life the continent. Our
PARIS correspondent allues 10 itemp, the part Of
Napoleon the strength OF the excitement growing ont
of the Bagdad affair feeling among the French
popuacc against the American people, but has to
chronicle its failure in the despatch Napoleon
VIA obliged content himself with cutting all The loyal
Americans presented the second Tueres ball and well
coming only Sidell aud his family From Rome we have
entertaining chapter the fashions and foles OF the
Amercanizer portion Of the Eternal CITY, by which It
appear that countrymen gradually taking
possession Of the city Our naval correspondent with
the feet Of Admiral Goldsborough writing from Speza
the departure OF the last Of the special squad
ron from the Mediterranean and the breaking up OF
ihe old naval station thr Italian coast The cause
this which is still left shrouded in mystery Is
supposed be natural desire part to possess less
secluded naval stations In OF any war with Euro
pean nations Prom ST Petersburg we have details of
diplomatic difficulties between NaGoleon and the Gar
growing OF the relations OF Russia with Rome, and
interesting gossip regarding the family Of the Car,
al oil the Russias.
Year: 1866

A Wisconsin friend writes: 81 drop
ped into Justice Court one evening
in village hereabout, and found the
room crowded with spectators, who had
been there all day long listening to the
of Senator W and Judge
O., as to whether the witness on
the stand should be allowed to answer a
question put by O. and objected to
by W. 1t seems that the witness
had testified that be saw the defendant
one morning splitting rails, and @ ~
wished to show what the defendant said
he intended to do with them. The an
swer was supposed to decide the whole
case, and the lawyers had spent near
ten hours in discussing the question
and had sent several times during the
day to neighboring town for authori-
ties.


At length the Justice decided that
tie question should be answered. O.
was elate over his victory, and taunting-
ly asked W--if he had any more
objecsions ? then turning to the witness
said: " Now, sir, you answer my ques-
ton; W does not object" What
did the defendant tell you he was going
to do with those rails p The audience
was profoundly silent /; and the witness
giving thoughtful look to the floor,
calmly answered: Nothing that 1
know of I! The court adjourned until
next day."
Year: 1866

A GOOD story is in circulation of a
certain doctor, who sometimes drank a
great deal at dinner. He was summon
ed one evening to see lady patient
when he was more than half seas over,
and conscious that he was SO. On feel
ing her pulse, and finding himself una
bic to count its beats, he muttered -
:" Drunk, by Jove." Next morning,
recollect.ng the circumstance, he was
greatly vexed, and just as he was think
ing what explanation be should offer to
the lady, letter was put into bis hand.
"She too we'll knew said the letter,
/" that be had discovered the unfortun-
ate condition in which she was when
he had visited her, and she entreated
him to keep the matter secret in con-
sidertion of the enclosed 500 bill.
Year: 1866

How TO HAVE A KIND HUSBAND.
A correspondent of the Home Journal
gives receipt for making or keeping a
good natured husband: Keep his
linen in prime condition, with the re-
quisite degree of stiffness; never let
him know the want of button give
him well broiled beefsteak, wholesome
bread and sparkling cup of coffee for
bis breakfast; keep squalling babies
and broken crockery out OF sight; keep
household articles and your own gar
ments in proper shape and order; avoid
all sloveuly appearance-be tidy; greet
his evening arrival with clean, light
face, we'll combed hair, and welcome
kiss; have ready cheerful supper, a
bright fire on the CRATE; be merry, and
tell him how you have passed the day,
some agreeable news; finally, give him
a well made bed-and, above all, love
no one else !"
Year: 1866

| A LAUGHABLE ScENE.-The New
Lisbon Buckeye State writes up, in the
following graphic style, little incident
that occurred at the Salem railroad de-
pot few months since: A traveller,
bound to Cincinnati, where be had husi-
ness of importance to transact, had
rested over night, with his wife, at the
Broadway Hotel in order to be sure and
hit the morning train, which leaves at
an early hour. In the morning the
traveller was sleepy. His lady had aris-
en-, awakened him, dressed herself; and
come down to breakfast, expecting her
lord to follow her Immediately. While
eating hastily and scolding mentally, in
view of the husbands tardiness, she
heard the whistle of the locomotive
Rushing frantically up stairs, her hor-
ror may be imagined when, on opening
the bedroom door, snore from the con-
jugal sluggard saluted her ear.


A slight scream and rough shake
awoke him. He heard the whistle
Pulling on his boots, he hastily gather
ed in his arms. the rest of his attire.
aud pushing the lady before him, put
for the train at two forty gait, and
dressed only in boots and shirt. The
train reached the depot. Throwing all
but his shirt upon the platform, the
lady hurridly sought to obtain tickets
at the Office, while the husband pro-
ceeded to clothe himself with his No. l
garment. While it was yet futtering
over his head the whistle again sound.
ed, maliciously, and off started the train.
The unfortunate creature entered the
car, his flesh having pimpled goose
like appearance, while his blushiug lady
spreading out her crinolne like the sa-
cred veil of charity, converted herself
into screen, that his nakedness might
be hidden from his fellow travellers
The other female passenger putting her
hand before her eyes, with her fingers
apart, declared, before she turned her
head in another direction, that sit was
shocking y And so We suppose it must
have been to the unlucky wight who
had to make such spectacle of him
self
Year: 1866

HYMEN-Danchet, the French poet
tells us that Hymen was young man
of Athens, obscurely torn, but extreme
ly handsome. Falling in love with a
lady of rank, he disguised himself in
female attire, the better to carry on his
amour and as he was one day on the
sea shore celebrating the Eleusinian
rites with his mistress and her female
companions, gang of pirates came up
on them by surprise and carried them
off to distant land where the pirates
got drunk for joy and fell asleep. Hy-
men then armed the virgins and dis
patched the pirates /; when, leaving the
ladies upon the island, he sped to Ath-
ems, told his adventure, and demanded
his love iu marriage as her ransom.-
His request was granted. So fortunate
was the marriage that the name Of Hy-
men was ever after invoked on all fu-
ture nuptials, and in process of time
the Greeks enrolled him among their
gods.
Year: 1866

drove it up to the haft in the wood -
Doubling one end of the things, he
looped it round the primitive staple.
and whirling the two loose ends under
Jesse's body caught them, and drawing
the thong tightly up, knotted it about
the handle of the knife. Creeping fur
thcr along he secured in a similar man
ner his sons ankles; and then facing
about, took hold of Jesse feet and held
them firmly, while the imperiled man
exerted his own strength to regain his
former position. 1t was exceedingly diff
ficult for him to do this, but he at last
succeeded.


As soon as the desired object was ac-
comphshed, Job severed the thong that
bound his sons ankles, and then, at an
imminent risk to himself crept over his
PROSTATE body, cut the cord around his
shoulders, and regained the edge of the
pit.


Carefully, very carefully, did young
Slocum follow his father. When he
came within reach, every hand was ex-
tended, and he was almost lifted to a
sure footing on solid ground.


An exultant shout of joy now rang
through the silent forest at the almost
miraculous rescue.


1t was believed that after few more
rounds were fired, all the reptiles were
killed. AS to the exact number des-
troyed, the hunters could form no Just
estimate; but all agreed that there were
at least from four to six hundred.


Doubtless this secluded retreat had
been for years their breeding place, as
many of them were of enormous size.
Year: 1866

A contemporary gives the following
amusing account of his experience with
dog which he bought from dealer
on his assurance that he ''was such a
ratter.'' He had some trouble at first
in getting rat on which to try his
"purp.' He Succeeded at last, and
says:


The next day was so fortunate as to
secure from boy in the market fine
old-line, bob-tailed rat, whose furious
efforts to chaw everything within reach
gave promise of glorious sport for Nip.
Took the rat home, called my dog, told
my wife if she wanted to see the way
that terriers did rats, to come down in
to the basement. She came down and
shut the door-just in time, too, for as
soon as Nip saw the rat, he, Nip, my
ratter, for which l paid the boy FIVE
dollars, made most unmistakably cow
ardly movements toward the hall. Wife
on chair, said the dog did not appear
to see the rat


"Told wife to keep mum. Thought
[ would not give Nip any reason for not
seeing the rat again. so tied the string
that held the rat to the dogs hind leg
He saw the rat that time, and jumped
on the chair by my wife. Wife laugh
ed and showed him off Tried the stove
next. Got off the stove without being
showed. The rat, however, being an
old stager, and not being used to such
treatment, made a demonstration on
Nip's rear, and l don't believe Flora
Temple ever made better time in the
same limits than that dog and rat made
around the room.


First heat, dog had the lead, closely
followed by rat, who, on striking the
half mile pole (footstool in the corner)
broke badly-in fact, nearly broke his
back; and before he could be brought
down Che was sliding on his back) dog
led him by the whole length of the
string. Didn't stop for wind, but start
ed on the second heat. Got off we'll
together (tied) and went finely around,
neck and tail until they reached the
judges stand, (wife standing on chair)
against which the dog brought up solid,
bringing the judge down in style pre-
eminently sudden, if not dign;6ed. The
heat was decided against the dog, you
bet, and it was only after much persua,
siou that the judge would again take
the stand


"The third heat may be amply term
ed dead heat. They got as we'll apart
as the dog conveniently could, and sail
ed lively until just as they struck the
last quarter, when the rat, which run
about as we'll on his back as on his legs
SHE'D the track and got rather queerly
around table leg. Dog went on as far
the string and the length of his hind
leg would let him. On raising the rat
he was found to be non compos, totally
defunct-in fact, dead. Nip was not
much better off.


" Wife said that dog couldn't even
kill mice Told her that he had GER
tainly killed that rat. But on viewing
the feat in scientific light, l must
confess that l did not feel quite satis-
fed with the performance of my pet,
and the next morning gave him away
to milkuan who wanted ratter to
free his stable from the depredatioDs of
the vermin. | have not been able to
ascertain which left first, the rats or the
dog"
Year: 1866

AN ELEGANT EpIsTLE The follow
ing letter was written by father to his
son in college: "My Dear Son-I write
to send you new socks your poor mother
knit for you by cutting down some of
mine. Your mother sends you ten dol
lars without my knowledge, and for fear
you would not spend it wisely 1 have
kept back half and only send you FIVE.
Your own mother and | are we'll except
that your sister has got the measles
which we think would spread among the
other girls if Tom had not had them be-
fore, and be is the only one left. / hope
you will do honor to my teachings, if
you do not you are donkey and your
mother and l are your affectionate pa
rents"
Year: 1866

He COULDN'T BEAR PROSPERITY =
There is class of men of whom it is
truthfully said, they cannot bear pros
perity. When fortune goes against
them, they conduct themselves with
correctness; but let the tickle dame
smile upon them and they rush at once
into all sorts of folly and intemperance.
Prosperity has ruined people who, so
long as they had to struggle with the
world, were very excellent and exem-
plary members of society.


There was singular illustration of
this in the Police Court the other day.
A good for nothing looking wretch was
brought up, charged with drunkenness.
The testimony showed that he had been
on spree for a week. He was asked
what he had to say for himself.


"Well, your honor" said he, "me
and my woman never did live easy to-
gether.''


"That's no excuse for your getting
drunk" said the Court


"You re right, your honor, and SO it
amt. We used to fight like cats and
dogs together"


drinking only made it worse," put
in the Court.


"That's true. She discouraged the
life out Of me: and kept me poor, until
last week when"-


"Well, what did she do last week p


"She died, yer honor"


"And you have been drunk ever
since ?"


eyes, yer honor, I never could bear
prosperity"