Year: 1877







was doing comfortably in nv
easy chair, and dreaming of the good
times which L hope are coming, when
there fell upon my ears most start
ling scream. 1t was the voice of nv
Maria Ann in agony. The voice
came from the kitchen l rushed.
The idolized form of my Maria was
perched on a chair, and she was
flourishing an iron spoon in all direc-
tions, and shouting "shoo," in a gen
eral manner, at everything in the
room. To my anxious inquiries as
to what was the matter, she scream


ed: go Joshua! a mouse, shOo-


wha-shOO-a great-ya, shOo-hor-


rid mouse and-she-ew-it-ran


right out of the eupboard-shoo-


go way-O Lord-Joshua-shoo-


kill it, my-shoO." -


All that fuss you see, about one


little harmless mouse. Some women


are so afraid of mice. Maria is. I
got the poker and set myself to poke
that mouse and my wife jumped
down and ran off into another room.
| found the mouse in a corner under
the sink. The first time hit it I
didn't poke it any on account of get
ting the poker all tangled up in lot
of dishes in the sink; and | did not
hit it any more because the mouse
would not stay still. 1t ran right
toward me, and l naturally jumped,
as anybody would; but l am not
afraid of mice, and when the horrid
thing ran up inside the leg of ones
pantaloons, especially if there is moth
ing between you and the mouse. Its
toes are cold, and its nails are
scratchy, and its fur tiekles, and its
tail feels crawly, and there is moth
ing pleasant about it, and you are
all the time afraid it will try to
gnaW out and begin on you instead
of the cloth. That mouse was next
to me. l could feel its every motion
with startling and suggestive dis
tinctness. For these reasons I yell
ed to Maria, and as the case seemed
urgent to me, 1 may haYe yelled
with certain degree of Vigor; but
1 didn't yell fire, and if l catch the
boy who thought did 1 shall infiot
punishment on his person.


Ibid not lose my presence of mind
for an instant. caught the mouse
Just as it was clambering over nv
knee, and by pressing firmly on the
outside of the cloth, l kept the ami
NAL prisoner on the inside. / kept
jumping around with all my might
to confuse it, so that it would not
think about biting, and 1 yelled so
that the mice would not hear its
squeaks and come to its assistance.
A man can't handle many mice at
once to advantage.


Maria was white as a sheet when
she came into the kitchen and asked
what she could do-as though. I
could hold a mouse and plan a cam
paign at the same time. told her
to think of something, and she
thought she would throw things at
the intruder; but as there was no
earthly chance for her to hit the
mouse, told her to stop, after she
had tried two fiat-irons and the coal
scuttle. She paused for breath, but
kept bobbing around. Somehow
felt no inclination to sit down any
30, Joshua" she cried, "I
wish you had not killed the cat.@
Now l submit that the wish was
born of the weakness of woman's in
selIeet. How on earth did she sup
pose a cat could get where that
mouse was? rather have the mouse
there alone anyway, than to have a
cat prOwling around after it. | re-
minded Maria of the fact that she
was fool. Then she got the kettle
and wanted to scald the mouse. 1
objected to that process, except as a
asst resort. Then she got some
cheese to coax the mouse down. but
did not care to let go, for fear It
would run up. Matters were get
ing desperate. l told her to think
If something else, and l kept Jump
ng. Just then / was ready to faint
With exhaustion, / tripped over an
ron, lost my hold, and the mouse
ell to the floor very dead. l had
loidea a mouse could be squeezed to
leath so easy.


That was not the end of the
rOuble, for before l had recovered
ny breath fireman broke in one of
he front windows, and a whole COM
any followed him through, and
hsy dragged hose around, and muss-
d things all over the house, aud
hen the foreman wanted TO thrash
ne because the house was not on fire.
nd hardly got him pacified before
policeman came in and arrested me.
ome one had run down and told
i'm | was drunk and killing Maria.
t was all Maria and could do, bv
our elOquence, TO prevent
i'm from marching me off in dis
race, but we finally got matters
uieted and the house clear.


Now when mice run out of the
cupboard | so outdoors, and let
Iaria "shoo" them back again. I
an kill a mouse, but the fun don't
ay for the trouble.


The political Kaleidoscope in New
'rleans shows some rapid and inter
sting changes. Warmoth, who was


Democrat in 1872, is the leading
candidate for United
tates Senator, while Casey, brother.
n-law of the President, upon whom
he Democrats have heaped their vii
st epithets for years, is the favorite
{ the Nichols party for that posi-
ion. Pinchbaek, since his treaehery
o the Republicans, seems to have
allen into general contempt, as trai-
.ors usually do MeanWhiIe Gen
Auuur. calm and irunloaohl. -