Year: 1867

BY DOW, JR.


Young man, If you have arrived at
the right point in life for IT, let every
other consideration give way to that Of
getting married. Don't think Of any
thing else. Keep poking about among
the rubbish Of the world, till you have
stirred up gem in the shape of a wife
worth possessing. Never think of de-
laying the matter, for you know delays
are dangerous. A good wife is the most
constant and faithful companion you
can possibly have by your side, while
performing the journey Of life "A dog
isn't touch to her. She is Of more SER
vice to you than you may at first imag-
inc She can smooth your linen and
your cares" for you mend you trousers,
and perchance your manners -sweeten
your sour moments as your tea and cof-
fee for you-rutfle perhaps, your shirt
bosom, but rot your temper; and in
stead Of sowing the seeds Of sorrow In
your path, she will SOW the buttons on
your shirts, and plant happiness instead
Of harrow teeth in your bosom. Yes
and if you are too confoundedly lazy, or
too proud to do such work yourself, she
will chop wood and dig potatoes for
dinner; for her love for her husband Is
such that she will do anything to
please him, except receive company In
her every day clothes.


When a woman loves, she loves with
adou bledistilledd devotedness and when
she hates it Is on the high pressure prin-
ciples. Her love is rs deep as the ocean,
and as strong as q hempen halter; and
as immutable as the rock Of ages. She
won't change except it is In very strong
fit ofjealousy; and even then it fingers
as if 10th to depart, like evening twi.
light in the windows of the West. Get
married by all means. All the excuses
You can fish up against doing the deed u
amt worth q spoonful OF pigeons milk
Mark this-if blest with health and EN-
ploymcnt, you are not able to support a
wife, depend upon it you are not capable
Of supporting yourself. Therefore, sc
much the more need Of annexation fol
in union as well as in onion, there is
strength. Get married, / repeat young
man! Concentrate your affections upon
one object and not distribute hem, crumt
by crumh, among host Of Susans, Ma
rys, ELIAS, Betsies, Peggies, and Dor
othies allowing each scarcely enough t.
nibble at. Get married and have some
body TO cheer you on your journey
through this ''lowIy vale Of tears"--
somebody to scour up your whole life
and whatever linen you may possess
in some sort of Sunday-go-to-meetinl
order.


Young woman. Ineed not tell yor
to look out for husband, for know
that you are fixing contrivances to catct
one and are as naturally on the watch
as cat is for mouse. But one wore
in your ear If you please. Don't bal
your hook with an artificial fly of beau
ty ; If you do the chances are ten to on,
that you will catch gudgeon-some
silly fool of fish that isn't worth hi
weight In sawdust. Array the inne
lady with beautiful garments of virtue
truth morality, and unsophiscated love
and you will dispose of yourself quicker
and to much better advantage than you
would to display all the gew gaws, flip
pejigs, fol-de-rols and fiddle dee -dees, ir
the universe. Remember that 1t is ar
awful thing to live and die self-manu
factured old maid.


| My hearers-get married while you
are young and then when the frost o
age shall tall and wither the flowers OF
affection, the leaves of connubial love
will still be green, and perchance joy
Gus offspring will surround and grace
the parent tree, like ivy twining and
adorning the time scathed oak