Year: 1877

why Is paper money more valuable than
gold? When you put it in your pocket
you double it. and when you take it ont
you find it still increases


Well, now, if newspaper man owned
bank, do you imagine that any one could
fool him for three or four consecutive
years BY false entries. No, sir He'd
look over the docket once an hour, and
he'd keep the reserve capital in his watch
pocket.-DetroH Free Press.


1t won't do to sneer at New Jersey JUS
tice. Keeper Hayes of Hudson county
penitentiary has been in the habit of get
ting his boots tapped by the prisoners at
the county expense. lie pleaded the Gus
tom of all his predecessors, but the court
convicted him of petty larceny.


A Merose boy came down street on the
rush IL few nights since, and in an excited
manner said there were u lot of lights in
the Jewish burial ground. Half dozen
scientific men, four loaferS, and dog
started off to sec them. The graveyard
was as dark us such places usually are.
Where are the lights?" asked big man
Of the boy The youngster backed off 10
safe distance and yelled out, Under
ground; they're Israelitcsm lie then ran
for his life.


Remember that one can have the hands
in soap-suds with soft soap without injury
to the skin if the hands are dipped in vim
egar or lemon juice Immediately after.
The acids destroy the corrosive effects of
the alkali, and make the hands soft and
white. Indian meal and vinegar or lemon
juice used on the hands when roughened
by cold or labor, will heal and soften them.
Rub the hands in this and then wash off
thoroughly and rub in glycerine. Those
who suffer from chapped hands in the
winter will find this comforting.


Rusty NAILS Every little while we
read of one who has stuck Il rusty nail in
his ICot or some other portion Of his per-
son, and lockaw has resulted therefrom.
All snch wounds can be healed without
any Fatal consequences following them
The remedy is simple. 1t is only 10 smoke
such wound, or any wound OF bruisr that
is inhamrd, with burning wool or wollrn
cloth, Twenty minutes in the smoke of
wool will take the pain out OF the worst
| NdSt vi llu'llulllllloH wv ever SdN hllSln1
from wound.


THE METRO SYSTEM association
has been formed in Boston to introduce
the metric weights and measures As it
is simply reducing all our weight and
measure tables to decimals, and we have
the old English system, which is probably
the most inconvenient, it is only question
of time. and the sooner we adopt it the
better The unit is not difficult to get at
A kilogram is little over two pounds,
and a tonneau something nearer a ton than
we get when We buy coal A meter is
about one and one-tenth yards. 1t is gen
orally adopted in Europe, and it would be
excellent to know that for once we are not
behind all the rest of mankind.


A jewcler was heard saying to sad
eyed young man: II know just how en-
bnrrassing it is, but it can't be helped. /
sold you the ring for So and agreed to
tell your girl if She came here with it that
it was a 800 diamond ring She came in
yesterday. while l was busy back here,
and that blockhead Of II clerk up and told
her that it was II filled ring with IL brill
liant in the top. Yes suppose she gave
you fits, last night, AMI it NAV break off
the match, but you see how it was. She
ought to have taken your word that it
was u diamond. If you want to take
up one of those $5 imitation coral sets I'll
make out bill fol 500, and sign it in reg
ular shape, and perhaps she'll be pacitied."
Detroit Free Press.