Year: 1879




Which Operate Against Early Marriages.
The Social Usage in France-A Change for
the Worse.


New York Timesl


In old times among our American people,
it was taken for granted that all men and wo-
men should in due time be married, and old
bachelors and old maids were regarded as
more or less liable to be called to an account
for their celebate condition. Such characters
were found, indeed, in every considerable
community, and they were often marked by
intellect, refinement and energy, but even
these shining examples of celibacy were gen.
orally quoted in favor of marriage and their
loneliness was thought to be sufficiently ex-
planned by the report and belief that they
had been crossed in love, and that therefore
they remained single because they could not
help it. Marriages general came very early
in life, and not only sentiment but conven-
fence favored early wedding, since it was not
easy for young man of good taste and So
ciai sympathy to find home at all to his
mind without wife to be the heart of it.
Hotels and boarding houses, as they are now
understood, hardly existed, and if young
people wished to leave the old homestead and
set up for themselves, the only way was by
marriage and new home, where work was
no harder and the room and the prospects
were better than under the former depend
ence and toll


The dominant religion conceded with the
social usage, and the Puritan preachers never
for moment suggested that there is any
peculiar sanctity in celibacy, and they
found the Scriptures from Genesis
to Revelations full Of assurances
and symbols of the worth of marriage as the
legacy of Eden and the type of the mystical
| union of Christ with the church. Litera-
ture worked upon public opinion in the same
direction, and Milton and Cowper, Bunyan
| and Hannah More, backed up the teaching
of the pit, and saved our young people from
| the corruption which went forth from the drs-
ma and poetry and romance of the courts of
Charles Ii. and Louis Nv. in the Old


World, which made contempt for marriage
to be the soul of wit and the life of fashion.


The habits of society also favored early


marriages. and a young man who was able
| to take good care of himself could without
| rashness, ask young woman of discretion
| to share his lot and to take care of his frugal
home. The wife, either by her own indus
| try or by her parents thrift, generally under
| took to furnish the house with its simple and
sufficient outfit, and Gods providence not in
vain, was invoked to do the rest. In this
way stout and powerful race was born and
bred, and the new generation went forth
| rich in health and heart, and not poor in the
intelligence and pluck which are the best
| means of living. The main thing in the
| marriage was the character of the persons
| married, and the public opinion and con-


science that did SO much to keep them strong
| and true.


| II is not wise to cloak over present con-
| ditions, yet who will deny that in certain
respects our modern life has changed for
the worse in its ideas and usages, and that


the change bears with especial severity upon
our American people2 In our time habits
| of expense have far outgrown the means of
providing for them and while women have


been constantly led to give up the old
fashioned household industry and fru-
| gality, they have too often, with the new gen.
i tility, formed tastes and associations which
require an outlay beyond the means of most
of their own families, and not encouraging
| to young men who are looking for wives to
help them forward in reasonable home and
| an honorable business or profession. Our


men, indeed, have great deal to do with
forming the expensive habits of women, for
we have great pride in their beauty and ap-
pearance, and we wish to do everything in


our power to make them happy, and to bring
out their charms and graces. Yet the result
often works against them, by making homage
easier than love, and setting them up as
queens of fashion, while they would be hap
/ pier and better as wives of good husbands
and homes. f


Our American society has been rapidly
Europeanized in both directions of married
life and our men and women are seriously
| affected by the change. Our men seem at


first to be the greatest sufferers, since the in
creased expense of married life makes it so
much harder to marry as early and congen-
i ially as they WISH But our men do not suf-
| fer without having fair partners in their DIS
appointment, and the large number of worthy


and attractive young women who remain


Unmarried until their bloom begins TO fade


might have had lot far more to their mind,


if the men who appreciate them had not


been frightened by the axactions of the


fashion that prevails.


To make the case stronger, we may COM
/ pare the old-fashioned American marriage


code with that of French society. The
American young man of old asked the girl
| whom he loved to marry him and share his
| lot, alike in its sacrifices and opportunities.
| With due thought and prudent preparation,
| she consented and accepted the serious con-
ditions of the new home, not expecting any
new round of gayety or emancipation.
| Both husband and wife expected to work,
and even if well-to-do in fortune the
wife never looked down upon the


cares of housekeeping or put upon servants
the sole charge of its economy, either in
sickness or in health. The dominant idea


was that the man married the woman be-


cause he loved her and she loved him, and
they meant to stand by each other through


life. The marriage of convenience, which is
| coming to us from European travel as well
as from French literature, is quite otherwise.
| 1t looks upon marriage in some respects with
| Just caution, with keen eye to its cares and
liabilities, yet with more prudence than wis
dom. 1t is more in the interest of men than


of women, since, while it offers to women
new liberties as wives, and frees them from


the bondage of their girlhood, it undertakes
/ - .-.....a ,s,o,, a4rair,sf tho financial riaEs of