smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1878

a license for Maria Jane You see, Will
Morrison, who has been to college,
told Maria that anybody must have a
license before they write much poetry.


Here the Mayors face turned very
red, as if suffering from some intense
internal emotion. and it was observed
that his eyes were suffused with tears.
His Secretary suddenly approached the
window and gazed abstractedly out
upon the trees in the tubs, whose
emerald branches were gracefully sway
ing in the Summer breezes in front of
the saloon across the way. The former
fixed his eyes upon the Mayor for q
moment, who finally sufficiently recov-
cred himself to say:


My dear sir, your daughter needs no
license to write poetry. She can write
as much as ever she pleases, and it will
be all right.


Won't it be against the lax- to do it
without q license inquired the msn.
She has heard that Byron and Mrs.
Hemans used q good many poetic H..
censes in their writings. and she
thought she'd better do as the res. of
'em did. But if it's all right without,
it's probably owing to the freedom of
our institutions and sich like


Exactly, said the Mayor.


And the satisfied rustic walked oat
of The Office, picking his teeth with q
straw.
Year: 1878

Never you mind the crowd, lad,


Or fancy your life won't tell;
The work is the work for a that


To him who doth it well.
Fancy the world hill. lad


Look where the millions stop.
You'll find the crowd at the base, lad (;
There's always room at the top
Courage and faith and patience


There's space in the old world yet;
The better the chance you stand, lad,
The further along you get.
Keep your eye on the goal, lad;


Never despair or drop;
BE sure that your path leads upward;


There's always room at the top.
Year: 1878

One of the most stupid blundcrs of the late
blnndcring Congress was the failure to raise
the pay of the Signal Service Corps. Few OF our
readers probably are aware that the work done
by this Corps and by the Life Saving Service are
tbe only two instances in which the service OF
n DEPARTMENT in the United States Government
is acknowledged abroad TO be unequalled by
that of anv other government in the world
Our Army, Navy, Treasury and Postal Service
are paraleled in scope and accuracy OF man
ogement by those Of other nations. But there
Is confessedy no coast so efficiently guarded
as ours, and our meteorolOgic work has taken
rank in Europe above that of any other cOun-
trv. This work we should remember is not
only done for ourselves, but for the world
The public sees and knows nothing about it,
beyond the prediction Of Old Probabilities
every morning. But science Is benefited, ana
life and property have been preserved by 1t
to an incalculabe extent.


The duties Of a Signal Service sergeant or
assistant require not only long and peculiar
training i'm their profession, but persistence III
minutc duties. exposure to the inclemency OF
tbe weather, and at times to hardship and
neril. We find these men risking life to take
their observations on the top OF Pixies Peak,
or floating down on the melting ice-raft
through the half-a-year's night over the Arc
tic Sea. Work like this requires good men,
and good men for any work must be paid good
prices. The pay now is not above that when
an unskilful mechanic could earn. 1t is folly
to say that the posts arc largely filled with
scientific young men, who remain in the SER
vice for the opportunities given for study.
Scientific young men must earn their bread
and meat like other people, and if the Signal
Service does not pay them enough to do it, so
much the worse for the service.
Year: 1878

opportunities his spirit scared. Ii Is supposed
that there has never been q night editor VINO
could pack more and bigger lies into column
of print than Anderson did in his famous ex-
animation. The only trouble with him is that he
does not know where to stop. For after tell
ing scandalous lies about everybody else that
he could think Of he began with great relish
to tell scandalOus lies about himself; ana III
that labor of love and supererOgaton his time
Is still fully occupied.


Mrs. jerks, who fixed about the committee
room in sudden and yet persistent way, that
reminded one of the species of fireworks known
as a chaser, was wholly the product OF the
committee The committee also Is responsible
for the sudden rcappearance OF the once-la-
nous Eliza PinkstOn, who, being fired with
emulation, and possibly a little short of money,
is shOwerng upon Mr.. Potter quadrupleX
series of contradictory aflidavits, like juggler
who keeps a hat-full of balls tossing from
hand to hand faster than You can count theih'
But the crowning achievement of the inyestl-
CATION is unquestionably the production OF Mr.
Emil Webber, the man who, like Chevy Slime,
was always just around the corner; who hap
pened to be passing whenever witness was
wanted; who accidentally overheard every
thing that required to be reported who
Glanced to look through an open door, or the
window of an eating house, at the very
moment when the cOnspirators had their heads
together; who found everything that had
been mislad who destroyed everything that
could not be otherwise accounted for; and VINO
was on such intimate terms with great num-
Der of leading politicians that they had no
hesitation in confiding 10 him, i'll casual chat,
their intention to commit perjury, bribery
and other State Prison offences. 1t was a
grand thought to get up Webber. Even Ander-
son palcs before the purple splendor of the
man who trunps over Mrs jerks.
Year: 1878

MORE LAST UORDS or a SIAIESW1N.


1t was not only fine bit of enterprise but
a wise precaution on the part of the evening
paper which on the day before the departure
of Lieutenant Governor DOrshcmer gave us
the opinions of that statesman on various
political questions For this is time when
no statesman should be allowed to so abroad
without leaving himself on record for the
benefit of the race, in case-which Heaven
fOrbd-anything should happen The country
is entitled to the opinions and parting ad


vice and counsel of all of them, and espe-
cially of Lieutenant-G Governors. With all our
modern machinery and appliances for scoop
"ing up,n as it were, the opinions of our
brightest and best, 1t would be simply mex
cusable to permit any one Of them to take
passage for foreign land without drawing
out from him in an interview enough WIS
dom and craftsmanship to keep the country
running and tide over the painful months of
absence. 1t was, in this view of the case ex-
ceedingly important TO get from William
Dorsheimor before he went away, his private
and personal opinion about the way things
are going on, and what ought to be
done in case anything should happen
in his absence. We cannot be too grateful
to our contemporary for sending a reporter to
him to take HIM down from his own mouth.
We could have wished that more explicit in
formation had been obtained from him as to
what course it would be proper for the Demo-
cratic party TO pursue If General Butler should
undertake with force and arms to join it !;
but he has at least left on record his
opinion that "the greatness and goodness
" of the Democratic party cannot be i'm
peached, and left MS to infer that if Butler
should come bringing with him anything val
liable be would not be strenuously resisted


1t is u good thing too. for the country to know
that, In Mr. DOrsheimer's opinion, 1.-THE hour
"rule in Congress is bad one" and that Con-
gress sometimes does great deal Of good; that
Congress is deliberative body, and members
should not be choked off in debate. Members
will do well to bear this In mind and gov
ern themselves accordingly when they re-
assemble. Mr.. Dorsheimer leaves on record
also his deliberate conviction that practices
Year: 1878

in future because the bill provides that no oficor
east of the Mississippi River shall be allowed forage
and no officer can keep horse without forage that


light battery in St. LOuis will present the Curious
spectacle of drilling with the men mounted and the
officers on foot. In fact" concluded the General
the law is full of absur1ties and incOnsstencies
The posse oOmitatus part was dictated by the peO-
pie whom we have whipped and who don't want TO
see Union soldiers. 1t is getting shall have to
apologize TO the people we whipped. Thank God
my war horses are all dead and shall not havo to
Apologies to them for the meanness of Congress.
should hate 10 be obliged to tell them that the Gov
ernment wouldn't feed them"
Year: 1878

THE AMERICAN AS&OCIAIJON fOE IHE


lDVANCEMENT or LYING.


Let it not be said that the Butler Gate Pot
teri Committee has labored in vain. 1t has
done none of those things which it was or
ganlzed to do. 1t has not discovered any
thing about the electoral vote of Louisiana,
nor laid foundation for anybOdy's impeach
ment, nor besmirched the President, nor
shaken his title, nor discredited Mr.. Sherman
or Mr.. Noyes. But it has accomplished a
great deal that it did not wish to accomplish
1t has ruined the project for new revolution,
it has injured some of the most useful Of the
Democratic members, and il has dragged out of
the mud of the Lower Mississippi n number Of
gorgeous and picturesque characters whom the
world will not willingly suffer to fall back
into obscurity. Without the committee we
should never have known Anderson, or Boulds
Baker. or the surviving Webber; possibly
even Mrs. jerks might have cOruscated vainy
i'm the cane brake, and the aspirations of her
husband the gallant Captain. to serve his
country in the command Of q navy yard or q
man -Of-war, might never have been known
beyond the restricted boundaries of the New
Orleans Custom House. And in setting up
these persons to be looked at the committee
has enriched society with sundry new patterns
of living, for which society can never be suf-
ficiently grateful.


The particular variety OF extravaganza cul-
tivated by Mr.. Boulds Baker comes under the
category of Bounce. This eminent per
sonage, who went INTO a telegraph Office
one day, and blowing himself up into
the portentOus Voice of the South vented a
long and expensive discourse, to be trans
mitted to Mr. Hayes by the electric wire
has been disclosed in an impressive attitude
before the committee, listening with his eyes
shut to the reading of the customary OATH
and then refusing to take it, or to answer one
question: however trivial, lest in moment of
forgetfuIness he should let out word or so
calculated to produce universal disruption.
Mr. BOulds Baker has the air of man
who is bursting with knowledge about
things in general, but who holds him
self together with heroic fortitude. And
yet it is in the highest degree imprOba-
bic that Mr.. Boulds Baker contains any
thing at all, and if General Butler
had not labelled him Dangerous" we doubt
whether it would have occurred to him that
he ought to be handled with any particular
caution. 1t is the committee, therefore, which
is responsible for the impOsture of Mr.. BOulds
Bakers bounce.


So is it responsible to a certain degree for
the variegated lying of Mr.. Anderson. That
lively young man Of course is an expert in the
art even the higher degrees of lying on oath
are not unknown to him. But until Mr.. Pot
ter's committee took him in hand it does
not appear that his boldest flights Of


-. e Il
occasional affidavit. He never lied before
TO O whole continent He never lied
In the presence Of a committee of the House
of Representatives with a regiment of report
ers taking down his words, and the Govern
ment Printing Office getting ready to embalm
them in Public Document. With enlarged
Year: 1878

To-day we supplement Our recent descrip-
tioRs of new improvements made in the fast
printing press by an account, given on another
page, of the process of rapid stereOtyping.
This was an invention which led the way to
most important charges in the form of the
printing press, and the process is to-day one
of the most interesting stages in the manufac-
ture of a newspaper.
Year: 1878

Ben Butler is a millionaire, and
lives in palace. How he contrives
to humbug the laboring people so
we'll is mystery. Probably there is
no man in public life to-day who has
sucked SO much money out of the
United States in an adroit way as he.
The lawyers fee in his case covers
everything. One can never tell
whether he is serving IN the House or
on committee, where the fee begins
or ends. There is always q brother
or some close friend at hand to take
on interest in schemes which It would
be improper for the General in COM
mand of department or a Congress
man to be connected with. He has
grown rich out of public life, but no.
body will ever catch him at anything
illegal or " inprudent."- ."-Spriagfeld
Rep.
Year: 1878

We do not read anonymous letters and communi-
cations. The name and address of the writer in
all cases Indispensable not necessarily for publication
but as guaranty of good faith.


We cannot undertake to return or preserve COM
muncations that are not used.
Year: 1878

THAT nice little scheme of making every
voter bank of issue, and having the Gov
ernment endorse his notes, does not seem TO
meet with general favor in this State, even
among the Greenbackers.
Year: 1878

Recently young man of about 20,
nearly enveloped in linen duster, was
wandering through the City Hall with
his Mary Ann, and he was several
times overheard to say:


Mary, I'd die for you,-would, tor a
fact -,


After seeing the various rooms, he
left her on the steps while he hunted
around for place to buy soda water.
In crossing the street he was run into
by a velocipede, and he got up yelling
like an Indian. The officer on duty at
the Hall ran down and asked him if he
was hurt. =,


Hurt I'm all mashed to kindlings!
was tue reply.


But I heard you say that you were
willing to die for the girl in the gray
dress up there


Il don't keer q penny for what yo'
heard ? exclaimed the young man, a
he duncsd around on one leg. Il wan
YOU to understand that there's just a
much difference tween dying for tb
gal you love and colludin' with two
wheeled sulky as there is tween
three.cent mouth-organ and a brass
band of angels I want to begin
lawsuit right of!
Year: 1878

The San Antonio CTexas) Rerald
says: "a few days ago a prisoner,
with a face on him that excited much
remark on account of the meanness of
his expression, was brought into the
district court TO be sentenced to Hunts
Vile for stealing some clothes of line.
As he was known to be very slippery
character, one Of our handsomest and
most vigilant deputy sherifs took his seat
By his side. After while the prisoner
leaned over and whispered to the officer:
Wont you do me one little .kindness?'
The officer promised to do so with one
of the kiudliest smiles we have ever
seen in a court house. The prisoner
whispered Then sit little further
off, I'd rather pay q hundred dollars
than have people to take me for depa-
ty sheriff."
Year: 1878

A New Orleans paper tells of a prin>
ter who, when his fellow workmen went
out to drink beer, put in the bank the
exact amount he would have spent if
he had gone with them to drink. He
did this. for FIVE years. He then LOOKED
up the bank account, and found that he
had laid up five hundred and twenty
one dollars and eighty-six cents. Think
of this, afflicted. In FIVE years he had
rot lost a day because Of sickness,
Three out of FIVE of his fellow workman
had in the meantime become drunkards
The water drinker then bought out tive
printing Office, and in twenty ye, rs
from the time he began to put up is
money he had laid aside good ma !,
thousand dollars. The story teaches /
lesson which every boy should lay <
! hssTt.
Year: 1878

A man was once walking along nne


road, and a woman along another. J be


roads finally united, and the man end


woman, reaching the junction at he
same time, walked an from there to-
gether. The man was carrying q large


iron kettle on his back; in one hand he
held by the legs live chicken, in rhe
other o cane, and be was leading q e at.
Just as they were coming to a dep,
dark ravine, the woman said to 'be
man, Il am afraid to 60 through that
ravine with you; it is lonely place,
and you might overpower and kiss ne
by force IF you were afraid of thrt,'
said the man, you shouldn't hive
walked with me at allj now can l pps-
sibly overpower you and kiss you ~
force when I have this great iron kct-
tie on my back, a cane in one hand q I'd
live chicken in the other, and I'm
leading a goats ] might as well De
tied hand and foot Yes replied the
woman, but if you should stick yo1r
cane into the ground and tie the goat
to it, and turn the kettle bottom eide
up, and put the chicken into it, then
| YOU might wickedly kiss me in spite of
nv resistance. Success to thy ingen-
uity, O woman ! said the rejoicing man
| to himself: Il should never have
thought of such e1pedients.' Ard
when they came to the ravine he stuck


his cane into the ground and tied the goat
to it, gave the chicken to the woma D,
saying, Hold it while [ cut some grs IS
for the goat and then, lowering tue
kettle from his shoulders, imprisoned
the fowl under it, and wickedly kiss d
the woman, as she was afraid he would
Year: 1878

The undersigned respectfully informs his
friends and the public generally that ne
may still be found at his shop, one dooI
west of the postofice, where he is prepared
to execute promptly and in the most stylish h
and durable manner all jobs that may be
given him. He will also make or repair
Harness, or in fact anything else in his
line. He only solicits call.
Year: 1878

There are few mental tortures more
terrible than that which young lawyer,
constitutionally timid, suffers when for
the first time he rises to address the
court and jury. No nightmare is more
frightful than those twelve men, honest
and true, presided over by the frowning
majesty of the bench. They are, then
and there, all the world to him, and q
horrible world it is to his brain, bewil.
dered by the sight and natural diff
dence.


Mr.. John P. Kennedy tells of such q
scene which was turned into triumph
by the will-power of the young man and
the sympathy of the court. He says :
"I remember tile agony with which the
confused novitiate arose second time,
having been but moment before COM
PEELED to take his seat, in the hope to
collect his routed thoughts. His second
essay was not more fortunate than the
first. He stood silent for brief space,
and at the end was enabled to say, Gen.
tlemen, / declare to Heaven that if ]
had an enemy upon whose head l would
invoke the most cruel torture, could
wish him no other than to stand where
/ stand now.'


"Curiously enough, the sympathy
which this appeal brought him seemed
almost instantly to give him strength.
A short pause was followed by another
effort which was completely and even
triumphantly successful"
Year: 1878

Don't aim to be jack of -all-trades.
Universal geniuses never amount to
much. Success comes through repu-
tation for superiority in some one thing.
An expert diamond-setter will receive
better payment than an artisan skilled
in many branches of trade; and the same
principle is true in business, mechanics
and all the arts. Learn many things,
but make all requirements contribute to
one thing. There is a special line Of
success in every calling, and every life
has special work to do. "You receive
fortune" said one to great English
author, "for piece of work that it
hardly takes you dozen days to do. ="
Yes," replied the writer, "but it has
cost me dozen years of special train
ing to be able to do this work in a dozen
days, and receive fortune because no
one else has this special training, and
can do the work so perfectly" In
homely phrase, there is great deal in
knowing how to do things.
Year: 1878

@~NAAS0vN AANAoaANs
Where the foot of the rainbow meets the field
And the grass resplendent glows,
The earth will a splendid treasure yield,
As the olden story goes.
In crystal cup are the diamonds piled
For him who can swiftly chase
Over torrent and precipice wild,


To find the rainbow's wandering base.
There were two in the field at work one day,
Two brothers, who blithely sung,
When across their valleys deep winding way
The glorious arch was flung,
And one saw naught but sign Of rain,
And one feared for his sheaves, unbound
And one is away, over mountain and plain
Till the mystical treasure is found.
Through forest and stream, in blissful dream
The rainbow lured him on
With SIRENS guile it loitered awhile,


Then leagues away wasgone.
Over brake and brier he followed fleet
The people scoffed as he passed
But in thirst and heat and with wounded feet,
He closed on the prize at last.
1t is closer and closer-he wins the race
One strain for the goal in sight;
Its radiance falls on his yearning face
The blended colors unite
he laves his brow in the iris beam


He reaches-ah, woe the sound
From the misty gulf where he ends his dream
And the crystal cup is found
'Tis the old, old story. One man will read
His lesson of toll in the sky;
While anotheris blind to the present need,
But sees with the spirits eye
You may grind their souls in the self-same mill,
You may bind them heart and brow;
But the poet will follow the rainbow still,
And his brother will follow the plow.
John Boyle 0'Reiuy.
Year: 1878

Did you ever know of anything that
is ever used as a comparison to trem-
bling but an aspen leaf !?


Did you ever see the chains which
occasionally attempt to bind the free
bornp


Did you ever light your cigar with the
flames of love?


Did you ever see the arms of Nor
pheus? If SO, describe their appear
ance, and soy if his legs be gouty.


Was ever your face Drowned by the
sunshine of prosperity or shadowed by
the dark clouds of adversityp


Did you ever see an alabaster brow,
an adamantine soul, the plowshare of
ruin, an icy heart, or an iron frame?


Did you ever get stomachful Of the
feast of reason, or quench your thirst
with the flow OF soul?


Did you ever Jump over head and
| tears into the waters Of oblivioniP
Year: 1878

A party of hunters recently went out
from Eureka, Nevada, in search Of game,
leaving one of their dogs tied up in their
camp. During their absence the dog
broke away with the chain attached to
his neck, by which he was caught in
some rocks several miles from camp and
held a prisoner. When the party was
about to return, one Of the deer hounds
ran up and catching one of the men by
his clothing attempted to pull him away
from the trail. Finally it was supposed
that another deer had been discovered,
and the party, following the hound, soon
found the dog, which had been caught
among the rocks. How the other dog
knew where he was is a mystery.


The assassin who attempted to kill
King Alfonso, in Madrid, was journey
man cooper, born in the district of Tar
ragona, and about twenty-five years old.
He was uncommonly daring and cool in
his behavior after his arrest, and de-
clared that he did not feel the slightest
remorse. He told the Judge who first
examined him that he had gone to Mad
rid with the firm resolve to carry out his
design. He had meditated this plan for
long time past, and he had bought for
his purpose small, short and very good
pistol, which he always carried about
him. He declared that he never in
Madrid revealed bis intention to any one,
nor had any accomplices. He boasted
that he had belonged to the Inter
national society Of workmen in BARGE
Iona for some time.


When @. N. Fuller and Miss Wheeler
we're married in Gowanda, N. T., in 1867,
Hiram Wheeler, the brides brother,
gave the couple nickel cent which had
just been issued, upon which he had en-
graved the names OF the bridegroom and
bride and the date of their marriage. A
child was born to them the next year,
and they attached the coin to q cord and
hung it about his neck. He wore it in
this way until he was six years old, when
he took it from his neck one day and
spent it for candy. Since then father,
mother and boy have all died. At re-
cent fair W. N. Fuller, brother of the
man whose name heads this item, made
purchase at stand, and among the
change handed back to him was the
identical cent which Hiram Wheeler had
engraved twenty-one years before, and
which had apparently been in circula-
ton ever since the little boy spent it,
! thirteen wears AGO.