Year: 1874

. lie favor on puBlio credulity, putting
| themselves in the newspapers, iiat
tering the vain, playing of tricks o
: haDdlcraft upon the simple and lov
ers of the marvellous. is apt TO turI
} away with disgust, and being anvil
= ling or what Is more common, toe
: poor to await the slow progress OF
honest but unaided merit, often Sc,
} riously meditates turning his back
upon the long loved objects of his
pursuit, and entering on new ca.
reer far less congenial to an enlight.
ened mind and benevolent heart.
1t is SAID the celebrated DR.. Cul-
len was an obscure practitioner in a
country village in Scotland, and SO
d satisfied was he with his progress
that he thought seriously of leaving
his practice for the church. But be-
fore he had taken the decisive step,
he by chance became acquainted
with the Duke Of Argyle who was so
pleased with him that he introduced
him to influential friends


But enough of this direction-I do
not wish to take occasion to lampoon
my older professional brethren. One
question accurs here as pertinent.
Why is it that the three learned pro.
fessions, law, Physic and Divinity
cannot be regarded as the three
strong pillras of a social compact p
1t is but natural to expect they should
sustain each other. If an enlighten.
ed education is useful in one of these
why not to the others ? Why should
either of these turn traitor to the fra
ternal relationship naturally existing
between them Yet we find as q
general rule clergymen are the most
efficient supporters of medical quack-
cry to be found in the community,
and lawyars are by no means exempt
from this infirmity.


A nostrum is pulled in the news.
paper with certificate from one
who is called Minister of the Cos
pei or Sd. d. or an Honorable
Judge one asserts that he had bad
cough which was generally thought
to be carrying him rapidly into con.
sumption, and that he took DIR. Rod
gers syrup of Liverwort and Tar,
and in few days he was a well
man. Another that he was affected
with pain in the stomach, and after
taking five of Brandreth's pill every
day for three months the pain left
him. A third certifies that he took
some homeopathic medicine at the
thirtieth dilution for nine days, and
that soreness that be had in one of
his toes had disappeared at the same
time mentioning that he wore loose
boots, which the doctor assured him
well suited to favor the legitimate
action OF the medicine.


4 gentleman practicing medicine
in the city Of Cincinnati, once wrote
the following epitome Of his doctrines.
If you will forgive me for cop yiDg 80
silly thing, 1 will give it to you as
it was actually published. / have it
now in print. He says:


"Every joint produces different
fever. There are different colors to
the different fevers, from the differ
ent Joints. Every man has ITO joints
and every woman has 100 joints.
The fever will go out OF the joints
and go into the stomach by taking
cold. Then separate the fevers, des-
troying whatever needs to be destroy
ed. Separate the feVers from the
| the cold"


"The red fever rises from the mar-
Tow and settles on the lights. One
portion of the brain is dark aud rules
the liver and if the liver is affected
so is that part Of the brain. Bad
breath of child is owing to the liv-
er growing fast to the ribs. If it
hangs in the system it is order.
Brown fever starts from the brain
and settles in the stomach. Some
people cali 1t thrash. If you don't
cure it, it goes clear through the
child as though it had been scalded.
Every joint has different wind or
draft. Blue fever settles in the left
knee as its home. When a person
gets cold and it settles in a JOINT, it
mIsconstrues and settles all over you,
and turns the blood to water. When
you have bone fever, your head
gets dry, you have the snuflies, but
you can't produce anything at ALL
There are "a kinds Of fever. YaIer
fever is established all ready in the
right knee, and blue fever in the left.
Green fever settles in the water Ves-
sells, established by a tea5caE worm.
A green worm about an inch long
and about as large as pin. This
causes the fever By taking an en-
etical medicine you bring the fevers
away from you alive, and that amt
good. Wien person has q gray
fever, he is hoarse, and when the
cold settles it makes him hoarse. It
has then settled on the spleen. When
you have clear chils, the cold settles
on the lights. But the Gger settles
on the Kidneys. For headaches give
whisky and vinegar. For pain all
over, wash all over with whisky and
vinegar and then grease with castor
oil. If much pain take one teaspoon
ful of pulverised salt peter, and four
of castor oil. Nix. All you want
of the salt-peter is to catch the gas
about it. It will not melt.''


Yet the author of this gibberish is
said to have had quite a practice.
| Not only was he patronized by the
jgaobte gdigHs, but by the people OF
education.


Our little city of Ottumwa is some
what noted, / believe, for this class
of doctors. We have Of "rubbjn"
doctors, three am told They look
at you, see the pain or disease, and
90 for IT, We have the spirit OF
White Arrow an Indian chieftain
I constantly lowering about a very
distinguished doctor fellow citizen.
+ In fact it IS the spirit that makes him
the doctor, and nightly may be wit.
messed spiritual manifestations, med
ical and otherwise. Add to this a
fair showing of eclecticism, Thomp.
sonianism, Hydropathy, Homeo.
pathy, with its sugar plumb materia
medica, and pure science unalloyed
by name which makes the deaf to
hear, the lame to walk, the blind to
see, and the bed ridden from W ha,
ever cause, to rejoice, no wonder we
seize this opportunity with avidity to
come among you and get square
meal once more. But seriously


L.. Il a