smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1866


Why is child with cold 10 it's head like
winters night2
Because it blows it SHOWS Ut blows its nose
Why is tedious story teller like the Thames
Tunnel2
Because he is great bore.
Why is man who keeps the toll at bridges
like Jew2


Because be keeps the passover.
Why are two girls giggling like the wing,
of a chicken?
Because they have.a merry thought bstween
them.


When is man thinner than a lath,
When he's shaving.
What two amin ais had the least luggage in
the ark2


The fox aud cock, for they oaly had brush
and comb between them.
Which one had the most2
The elephant, for he had his trunk with him,


My first is no disgrsc to tell


Without the second you cannot speE-


The third will help you to vie


To bless or curse you all your life.


Love-letter.
Always invisible, yet never out Of sight.
Letter lin visble.)
The age OF young lady /, now expressed
according to the present style of skirts, by say.
log that eighteen springs have passed over her
head.
Year: 1866

A BEAUTIFUL REFLEcrIoN.--Itc canno.
pc that the earth is cast up by the ocean
OF eternity to float moment upon ,ita
waves and to sink to nothingness. Else
why is il that the high and glorious aspira,
tions which leap from the temple of our
hearts are forever wandering about unsatis.
lied ! Why is it that the rainbow and
cloud come over us with beauty not earth.
and then pass of and leave US to muse upon
their faded loveliness I? Why is it that
stars who hold their festival around the
midnight throne, arc set above the grasp
OF our limited faculties, forever mockinp Us
with their unapproachable glory And
finally, why is it that brighter forms of hu.
man beauty are presented to our view, then
taken from us-leaving the thousand
streams OF our affections to flow in Alpine
torrents upon our hearts ? We are born
tor higher destiny than that of earth; there
Is realm where the rainbow never fades.
where the stars will be spread out before
us like islands that slumber on the ocean.
and where the beautiful which begins hero.
and passes before US like shadows, will stay
in our possession forever"
Year: 1866

METHOD OF RENDERING ALL SORTS OF
PAPER FIRE.PRooF.-Thisa astonishing eff
feet is produced by the most simple pro.
cess. 1t Is only necessary, whether the
paper be plain, written, or printed on, or
painted for hangings, to be immersed in a
strong solution of alum-water and then
thorous hly dry it, when it will Immediate
~ become fire proof. This experiment is
readily ascertained, by holding slip of
paper over candle. Some paper, however,
will require to imbibe more of the solution
than 1t may receive by single immersion,
in which case, the operation of dipping and
drying must be repeated till such paper
becomes fully saturated, when, it is posi-
lively asserted, neither the color nor the
quality of the paper will be in the smallest
degree affected but that on the contrary,
both will be even improved
Year: 1866

a lawyer is something of carpenter
he can file bill. split hair, mako an
entry, get up a case, frame an indictment,
empannel jury, put them in box, nail
a witness, hammer q Judge, and bore q
Court
Year: 1866

NEW YORK, July 23-The pleasant
weather of the last three days has had
the effect of preventing any further in
crease of the cholera in this city. The
number of confirmed cases yesterday was
fourteen; one Of them was q man who
was discovered dead on Chambers street.
The epidemic is increasing on Governors
Island. There were two deaths yester-
day and more than the usual number of
cases. It appears that of twenty-four
cases on the Island, all were boys from
sixteen to twenty years of age. Prompt
measures have been adopted for the sup
preston of the epidemic, and arrange
ments aro being made to supply the
troops with better water than they now
drink. On Hart's Island the cholera is
severe, the average being from twenty
to thirty daily, with a proportion of
from lO to Is per cent. of deaths. Di.
arrhea prevails among the officers and
men to some extent, and the greatest
care is required to prevent it from merg-
ing into cholera There were five new
cases in Brooklyn yesterday which were
removed to the new hospital corner of
Van Brent and Hamilton avenues.
Year: 1866

NEW YORK, July 23.-The Great East.
ern may arrive at Hearts Content on Fri
day next, when the Associated Press will
receive by telegraph early and full de
tails of the operations connected with
the laying of the Atlantic cable. Com
munioation between New Foundland and
Nova Scotia is made now with sailing
yacht. A new cable will be laid within
four weeks
Year: 1866

A Chicago letter says that rs the ex-
cavatiOn of the great tunnel under the
lake at Chicago draws TO a conclusion the
apprehensions of accident are great among
the men employed, owing to the ground
in which the work is now progressing
having lost the uniform consistency if has
heretofore had. Various rumors of disss-
ter have been circulated. but all have
happily turned out false. The letter says
concerning the appearance AT the ''faoe"
of the tunnel, (Which it is expected will be
completed in ten days.l that .'eyery now
and then gas jets hiss in the face of the
workmen, blow out their lights, and small
pockets of sand are opened, which brings
to the minds of the miners the thought
that perhaps there are larger ones suffici-
emily large to admit the waters upon them.
As may be imagined, the thoughts of the
men are not of the pleasantest kind, and
1t does not take much TO startle them and
produce a panic On Saturday morning
OF last week, about 2 o'clock. after
stroke of the pick. blast from the bowels
of the earth extinguiShed the lights,
mass of earth fell from above. the water
rushed in in a considerable stream. and
the cry was raised by the men that the
roof of the tunnel had fallen in. \ race
was made in the dark for the shaft. which
being reached, frantic shout for those
stationed above to rise up was given. ard
very shortly the men were lifted TO the
surface. The terrified miners then proceed
ed TO the house of the city engineer. and
informed him that the tunnel was destroy
ed, He at once proceeded TO make an
exploration, which revealed the fact that
a small quantity of wafer and mass OF
earth had fallen from a pocket and that
was all The men again proceeded to
work, after Il two hours Interruption
Year: 1866

80


HE REASON GIvES-The Quarterly
Review for October contains the following
upon the price Of paper:


We are constrained TO offer an apolopy
10 our readers for the inferior quality of
the paper used in this and in late numbers
OF the Review. The present prices of pa
per are 50 high that we cannot procure an
article which we formerly used, without
raising the price of the Review. and this
we choose 10 avoid The exorbitant cost
ot paper l. the result of combination. and
II Is an extortlOn TO which We shall not
yield For example, il Is publicly stated
that the ''Carew Paper Company" of
South 1Iadley Falls. Mass. has iuSt de-
clared a yearly dividend OF one hundred
per cent, besides reserving a fund sufficient
TO build an addition TO their mill. Last
year the dividend was one hundred and
twenty per cent The publishers OF one
of the most widely circulated school books
have actually sent the stereotype plates TO
England, and caused il 10 be printed and
bound there, and shipped hiiher, because
they can do this cheaper than they can
buy The paper and get The work done
here \ third of the books sold in New
York al this time are imported from Eng
land
Year: 1866

The highest salary paid to any man in
New Enlgand Is said to be received by
the agent OF 4 woolen mill in Massachu-
setts-ftteen thousand dollars. The low
est is believed to be that of Methodist
preacher, who stated at late convention
in Boston that his salary for preaching
last year was new hat and a bushel OF
apples.
Year: 1866

A>sAULTING An NOFFICEE.-Yesterday after
noon Philip Horn, with companion, was en-
joying Il buggy ride, was ordered nv officer
Parker TO drive of the Seventh street railroad
track ont of the way OF n car, when he replied
with All abusiye epithet. and was arrested
AT the corner of Fifth and q streets they
tackled ON to the officer and one managed to
escape: but Parker held TO Horn and took
him to the station. where Justice Walter dis
missed the case OF assault and battery, and
fined him so for being drunk and profane
Year: 1866

MEDICAL ADVICE.-Dr. VIM. K. Doherty's
Medical and Surgical Institute is becoming sine
qua non to the we flare of our State and health
Of our citizens; and bis rapidly spreading reputa.
ton although it may excite surprise, is but the
signal Of skill, and follows rs the natural effect
al such cause. We are personally acquainted
with gentlemen who had suffered for years under
chronic disease, and who had taken advantage of
every available means that promised relief, but
without success, until ttay called upon DR.. Do
herty, who in an Incredibly short space of time,
has given them entire relief. It is gratifying to
announce this fact, because the Doctor is a gen.
ticman who seeks. not by defamation of others.
10 establish his reputation, or to rear the super.
structure Of his own upon the ruin of another's
fame. The Doctor conducts his Institute in slch
a manner that must be gratifying to all his pa
tients. He examines, advises and recommends
without charge, and the patient after hearing
his terms for treatment, can accept or reject at
pleasure. In no case does the Doctor make a
charge unless be effects a cure. This, he is able
to do, because he feels the confidence which long
experienceIhas given, and no doubt the consoa
tiou which appertains to that confidence. Per-
sons afflicted with either acute or chronic disease
would do we'll to consult the Doctor; at all events
il can do no harm, as for consult ton he asks no
fee; nor does he insist on obedience 10 his advice
unless the patient places himself under his care
His Offices are on Sacrament 10 street, opposite the
Pacific Mail Steamship Offices F. News.
Year: 1866

bSG PRESIDENT johnson just one year
ago, proclaimed to the American people
that GIT IS TINE THE AMERICAN
2 PEOPLE SHOULD BE TAUGHT TO
UNDERSTAND THAT TREASON is
A CRIME-NOT IN REVENGE
NOT IN, ANGER-BUT THAT
TREASON is A CRIME, AND
SHOULD BE ESTEEMED AS SUCH
AND PUNISHED AS SUCH" The
great Union party that elected President
johnson still holds to the above opinion.
It can never consent that traitors shall
occupy high positions in Government
they sought to destroy
Year: 1866

BRIGHAM YoUNG TO ABDIcATE-The Chi
cago Republican processes to have trust
worthy information from Utah that BRIGHAM
YOUNG is about to retire temporarily to q
plantation some sixty miles from Salt Lake
City, leaving the charge of public affairs in
the hands of his son. This movement, it is
said is occasioned by the increasing age Of
BRIGHAM YOUNG, and the object is to test the
ability Of the young BRIGHAM to WELD the
sceptre before the death Of his father shall
render final any step which may be adopted
in regard to the succession. If he manifest
the ability to manage the affairs of govern


ment that his father and the elders hope


then BRIouAM's abdication will be permanent
Year: 1866

ALMoN p LORD, resident Of Pavilion,
Wyoming county, was found dead in his own
barn, with pistol in his hand and bullet
hole under his left ear. 1t appeared on an
inquest held that deceased wanted to marry
a girl, who refused him. On the refusal Of
the girl to accept a ring, he made the remark
to his brothers wife, where he boarded, who
urged him to change shirts, that he would
never want another clean shirt
Year: 1866

Some legislation at your present session
will be necessary to prevent return to an
unlimited diversity Of books, that cannot
but iniure the schools: and | recommend
that the Board of Education be empowered
reyisethe authorized list OF school books,
and publish the same as soon as may be prac-
ticable, and that the authority Of the pres
ent list be continued until srch revision be
made public.
Year: 1866

To ccRREsPOSDESTs.-Severa communications
in relation to the management of the express
office in this city must go over to next week. The
classification is even more general than we had
supposed Responsible parties complain that
not only are their packages delayed, but that
when they go to the Office 20 make inquiries they
are unable to get civil answer One cores
POndent says, that an express Office thus con.
Quoted is an unmtigated nuisance that cannot
be too soon abated." We concur.
Year: 1866

This manufactured for eight In order that may C Ct
of
the drill broad



with eassuanc it hasn SUPERIOR the market
this satuleis

combines all
the plant
o
fertilizer sales reb
and dfrom6n eannumh



To all who have used Phosphate We commend
the


Respectfully, Yours,
Year: 1866

The man who attempted to kill the
Emperor of Russia is said to be Russian
landowner of small means, who considered
himself injured by the emancipation Of
the serfs. He discharged the pistol with.
in few feet Of the Emperor, and the shot
would probably have taken effect had not
a peasant turned aside the assassiu's arm.
This peasant had been ennobled. 1t is
said that the Emperor, with perfect pre-
sence of mind, himself seized the culprit,
asking hin quietly, "What have [ ever
done to you that you should seek NV
life p
Year: 1866

Gone in her childlike purity


Out from the golden day
Fading away in the light so sweet,
Where the silver stars and the sunbeams meet


Over the silent way.


Over the bosom tenderly


The pearl-white hands are pressed
The lashes lie on her cheeks SO thin
Where the softst blush of the rose hath been
Shutting the blue of her eyes within


The pure lids closed TO rest.


Over the sweet brow lovingly


Twineth her sunny hair;
She was so fragile that Love sent down
From his heavenly gems thatsOft bright crown
To shade her brow with its waves 80 brown,


Light as the dimpling air.


Gone TO sleep with the tender smile


Froze on her silent lips
By the farewell kiss of her dewy breath.
Cold in the clasp of the angel Death,
Like the last bud of a faded wreath,


Whose bloom the white frost nips.
Robin--husbed in your downy bed


Over the swinging bough-
Do you miss her voice from your glad duet,
When the dew in the heart of the rose is set,
TIL its velvet lips with the essence wet


In orient crimson glow.


Rose-bud-under your shady lea


Hid from the sunny day
Do you miss the glance of the eye so bright
Whose blue was heaven to your umjd Sigh.
It is blooming now in a world of light


Over the starry way.


Hearts where the darling head hath lain,


Held by Loves shining ray
Do You know that the touch other gentle hand
Doth brighten the harp in the unknown land?
Jh, she waits for US with the angel band


Over the starry way
Year: 1866

The later accounts from the Pacific coast Of
South America, which reached US yesterday, do
not contain any warlihe operations of import
ance; but they continue to look highly favor
able to the Gillian cause.


The people Of Chill have been greatly eheered
and encouraged by the reports of the uni
yersal sympathy which the public opinion not
only in America but in Europe expresses for
them. They are firm in refusing any hEmil-
iating conditions Of peace, and insist on ample
damages being paid by Spain. The reports
from Bolivia and Venezuela ore favorable to Che
prospect OF a general alliance Of the South
American States. The Bolivian Minister at
Lima, Peru, had declared his full SYM
pathy with Peru, and expressed the
hope that bis Government would join
the offensive and defensive alliance as
soon as the civil war in his own republic
would be quelIcd. This, according to the last
advices, was expected to take place within a
few days From Venezuela, we learn that the
Chilian envoy had arrived, that the sympathy
expressed with thecause of Chill was profound
aud unanimous, and it was generally expected
that the Venezuelan Government would, with
out delay, enter the offensive and defensive al
lance.


Less gratifying TO the Government and
people of Chill is the attitude of the two Allan
tic republics of Uruguay and of the Argentine
Confederation. The former, having resolved
to enforce tie Strictcst neutrality, had diff.
Guilty with the Chilian Consul and accordingly
withdrew her exequatur. The new Govern
ment is again charged with the design to sell
the whole republic to Brazil. The Argentine
Republic likewise, to judge by the language of


its official organ, is not friendly to Chill.


But the Government Of Chill will be amply
able to dispense with the services of these two
republics, if, as is now more probable than
ever, nearly all the other republics of South and
Central America will unite themselves with
her in the bonds Of an offensive and defensive
alliance.
Year: 1866

evince my confidence in him" "Sr," he
would naturally rejon, cit was my business to
evince confidence in the disposal of my money
you should have given something that was
your own


We are quite as sanguine as those who boast
more that all will come out right in the end.
We whom Congress faithfully represents are
majority Of the American People at the South
as well as at the North. The fierce demand for
an immediate representation Of the South in
Congress comes from those who are resolved
that the Southern People shall not be fully and
fairly represented, but only part Of them who
seek to stiAe and politically nullify the rest.
The Copperhead expectation Of speedy as
cendancy in the Government is based on Il
denial OF Human Rights to -Four Millions OF
Southern citizens-the bone and sinew OF the
South-the conservators of her loyalty-the
tillcrs OF her soil. Our opponents demand
representation for part only-wc insist on All
Rights for AL
Year: 1866

the Bureau part Of the War Department Of tho Gov
ernment.


TX. That the bill did not contemplate the appoint
ment Of agents and other officers ia every county or
parish except the President should. in his Judgment
deem such appointments necessary


Y That what the President terms the unconstitu'
tona features of the bill comforting arbitrary powers
upon the officers OF the Bureau 90 no further than the
President himself and the officers of the army acting
under him have already gone and that it is competent
for Congress to provide all rules and regulations for the
government Of the army and navy, to which all are
subject from the to the humblest
soldier or sailor


XI. That if the Rebellion is in all respects at an end
the President is still exercising the war power such
as the suspension OF the writ of habeas corpus contrary
to the Constitution, which expressly states that TINS
shall only be suspended in time of invasion or rebeioni
and as we have no invasion and the writ not oper
alton in a portion of the States, we must have re-
belon.


XII. That, according to the census Of 1860, there
not four million Of slaves in the United States,
aud that instead OF this being measure to feed cothe
aud educate four millions of freedmen the report OF
Gen. Howard shows that at no time was there more
than one hundred and fortyseyen thousand persons
under the care of the Bureau ffy.seren thousand Of
rhom pere White refugees.


XII. That. according to tho sworn statement OF
Gen. Fisk before the Committee Reconstruction. OF
the twenty-five thousand persons fed by the Bureau In
tennessee, "renteeH thousand fre hundred rcrc Whie
rgugees.


XIV. That instead Of the freedman receiving pro.
lection from the civil Courts of the Southern States
and being secured by them in his rights these States
have, almost without exception enacted through their
legislatures laws with reference to the freedmen as
infamous and oppressive the black code Of Slavery


XIV. That If the Presidents views regarding the rep
resentaton OF the late Rebel States in Congress is
rect then all the legislation Of the past five years is
null and void.


Such were the main points in Senator Trumbull's
speech set forth with unusual power and eloquence
Year: 1866

Mr. Wilson'S resolution of thanks to the off,
GERS, soldiers, and seamen who fought for the
Republic, only puts in official form what lies in
the heart of all loyal men and women through
out The country. TO the valor and fidelity Of
the Army and Navy we owe our
existence as nation. We venture to
add that when the history of this war is
written fifty Or a hundred and fifty years
hence-the grecncst laurels will twinc about
the browS of the private soldiers, who bore the
burden and heat Of the struggle, and who did
the solid part of the fighting. Perhaps that Is
what Mr.. Wilson means to say.
Year: 1866

The Board Of Aldermen Yesterday passed a
series Of resolutions approving OF the veto oil
the Freedmen's Bureau Bill, and authorized the
firing Of another hundred guns in the Park to-
day in commemoraton thereof The Board
assumes to speak for the whole people OF
this City, but there are several thousands
who on reading the resolutions, VII refect-to
change slightly the phraseology Of these
City Falhcrs-that the object of the
bill vetoed by the President was to
save the dclenseless and despairing people OF
the Southern States who were never in Rebel.
lion, have nothing TO repent of and never
Swerved from their allegiance, from the dreaded
result Of the vindictiyeness of dom
inant faction, determined that there
shall be no change in the relative
positions, of the freedmen and their late
masters and who, for four years, waeed cruel
war against the best Government the world ever
knew, and carried mourning into almost every
home in the Northern States. Let your hundred
guns be hundred thousand, o Aldermen "a
gun for every grave on southern soil filled BY a


Northemer that the people might be free
Year: 1866

The Union members Of the Ohio Legislature
have the honor of being the first to indorsc the
House resolution for the exclusion Of Rebel
Representatives claiming seats in Congress.
On the evening Of its passage, Ohio resolved;
THAT in the action OF the Union Representa-
tvcs in Congress We recognize an exposition OF
the principles that made us party and saved
our country through the late Rebellion, and we
tender such Representatives our hearty sup
port" That is but one expression
Of the feeling which sweeps over the
country like whirlwind, and which
seeks ont its honest and honored representatives,
in Washington with declaration Of profound
gratitude and respect-with an affirmation that
they have done all hey could at the moment to
preserve the country against the most imminent
peril
Year: 1866

The TELEGRAPHIC FRATERNITY.-On the
evening of the 10Th ust Mr. NJ V. b. Finch, manager
of the American Telegraph Companys Office In this
city, was presented with a splendid gold watch and
chain together with written testimonial beautifully
gotten up and handsomely framed. by the teeeraphic
fraternity as token OF their high appreciation of hlm
MIR William H. Heiss made the presentation speech IN
n happy manner. and was replied To very handsomely
by the recipient OF the gift The 9hllr was hlghiy
gratifying To all c0nCeraed.
Year: 1866

In THE TRIBUNE Supplement this morning
will be found, in addition to matter elsewhere
mentioned, notices Of the French and Flemish
pictures, comprising the fourth exhibition at the
Studio Building in Tenth.st; letter convey
ing much valuable information concerning the
Northwest Indians, with an account OF the
Year: 1866

expeditions of Gems. Pope and sully; synopsis
of the Twelfth Annual Report of tho superin-
tcndent Of Public Instruction Of the State OF
New-York; an opinion Of Judge shipman Of the


L. 5. Circuit Court, in The case Of Martin, one
of the New-York hotel-burners Of year ago;
important and interesting matter relative to the
cattle disease; reports from the meeting OF the
State Agricultural Society; report Of the pro-
ducc market in the customary full and accurate
style of this paper, together with other matter
of miscellaneous characteristic whole form
ing 4 sheet of remarkable value and merit.
Year: 1866

10 CURE HoARsENEss. fake the white of
two eggs, and beat them up with two spoonsful
OF white sugar; CRATE in little nutmeg; then
add pint of hkewarnl water Repeat the
prescription if necessary, and it will cure the
most obstinate case of lhoarseness in a short
time. .'~