Year: 1879

faculties acquired in better days to good
account, and we continued to live COM
fortably for time on the proceeds of her
labor. Comfortably, did l say? No, it
grieved me constantly to see her toll so
arduously with the double responsibility
of household cares. And l knew that
her assumed cheerfulness was the cover
of painful solicitude she experienced on
my behalf.


This anxiety did not favorably affect
my arrangement. 1t grew more marked
and depressing. Vague fears haunted
me by day, and narrowed the long,
sleepless hours of night. The strange
perception of double intellect became
so far defined that the senses were SYM
pathetic. The sounds that reached
my ear were repeated. as if by echo
taste and touch were fanciful and er-
ratio, and at night weird, fantastic
forms fitted before my eyes, and rea-
objects assumed the semblance of what
they were not, and drove me to the
verge of delirium; while the effort con-
stantly exerted to retain my reason
only the more prostrated the mental
powers.


Unfortunately my malady reached a
stage at which l seemed to realize both
physical and mental double existence.
At times could distinctly see the form
and features of my second self, directly
confronting and gazing upon my more
immediate self. And then my own voice
addressed me, and we conversed to,
gether-myself and my second self
now condoling in common misery, and
then in tantalizing and horrible impre-
cations.


The terrible delusion became un-
bearable, and 1 felt that reason could
not much longer retain command of
the disordered faculties. 1t was a night
when my mental agitation had reached
a high degree. My wife had fallen
asleep, overcome with constant care
and watching. was pacing the sitting
room of our chamber, about the hour of
midnight, as was my habit. Occasion
ally reclined on sofa, in the hope of
catching a slight respite from the dis
tress of my terrible hallucination; but
it was for a moment only.


1 lay down again on the sofa. My
brain seemed whirling in blaze of fire,
and sprung up stricken with madness.
The horrible specter stood before me
and Knocked me with fiendish grin of
derision. grasped heavy piece of
furniture and dashed at it with the fury
of maniac. The specter seemed pal
pable to the blow, and yielded. saw
it vanish in darkness that spread be-
fore me, and my tormenting second self
was gone. l broke forth in frantic
laughter, that returned in a hundred
echoes around me, and sank exhausted,
unconscious, to the floor.


The morning sun was shining in up
on me when l awoke to returning con-
sciousness. A cool perspiration oozed
from my forehead. l rose on my elbow,
and, for some moments, endeavored to
recall my identity and the recollections
of the night. Then a horrible conviction
came upon me. Great heavensi 1t was
she! 1t was my poor devoted wife-the
realty of the form 1 had dashed down
and destroyed in my frenzy!


Overwhelmed with remorse, 1 rushed
wildly from the house and lied knew
not whittier. The greater grief that had
oomo Y1nou mo roupirno q rod INV voopto oI
power, and became calm in despair !;
but shrank cowardly from the desola-
ton that my own hand had wrought.


1t was some weeks after the dreadful
night have described that reached
New York City without detection, q
greater portion of the distance working
as one of the crew of a canal boat. 1
wandered along the wharves of the
metropolis, searching anxiously for
some means of escaping the country,
and longing even to flee the fellowship
of civilized man. The opportunity was
finally discovered in ship about sailing
around Cape Horn for the Pacific Coast,
on board of which my services were ac-
cepted in menial capacity.


was soon safe from discovery and
pursuit, and free upon the boundless
waters-free as one could feel with the
remorse of a hellish deed upon his soul,
and the abandonment of all hope of a
happy hour in life again.


need not describe the experience of
a long and tedious sea voyage, and the
hardships and indignities put upon me
in consequence of inefficiency and total
ignorance of a seaman's duties. To me
it was of little account. But the change
of life and scene, and the sea air had
wonderful effect in repairing my men,
tai and physical strength. 1t was ON a
bright September morning that 1 spied
the hazy shores of California, and in a
day or two thereafter sauntered along
the streets of San Francisco, alone in a
new world, with only the companion
ship of bitter recollections.


As necessity required sought em-
ployment, aud managed to sustain my
self, leading istless. purposeless sort
Of life. Butthe monotony soon became
and the apprehension of ul-
innate discovery excited renewed auxi-
ETY.. Frequently I fancied the recogni-
ion of familiar countenance on the
streets, that kept me in painful uncer-
;ainty.


The day came in which my worst