Year: 1874

J.


Reader have you ever 3put your
foot in it ?" l know you have, some
time or another. Every one must be
ACQUAINTED with the indescribable
thrill which passes through him o.
finding that he has committed hemself
You are perhaps holding an interest
ing conversation at a musical party
with a young lady whom you were
introduced to a few minutes ago
while another young lady at the piano
is giving a general invitation to the
company s'to meet her once again.
You remark III an of-hand way
ssWretched voice that girls got-pity
they let her sing" when, glancing
from the performer you suddenly
realize that they match like two vol
umes in set, both being nearly got
up in book muslin and green trim
mings.


A shudder passes through you and
it does not require the lady's distant
manner to tell you that the fair per-
former is her sister. OF course you
proceed to talk wildly about nothing
at all, hoping against hope that your
remark was unheard; but the CONVEX
sation, such as it is flags, and you take
an early opportunity or slipping away
from the offended sister. Or perhaps
at another time, while talking to a
friend on amusements in general, you
remark casually that you hate back
CANNON, and only play it when driV-
en- to do so, 1t is not until half an
hour afterward that it flashes across
you that, ON the very last occasion
when you were at that friends house,
YOU spent two long hours in rafting
the dice and in taking and being up.


Such eontretemps as these must at
times fall to eVerybody's lot, but
there is a certain class of individuals
whose fate it seems to be to ''put their
foet in it" on every available occasion.
There are some unhappy men who are
perpetually floating calmly and un-
consciously into the very midst of a
dilemma, and then foundering help
IessIy about like a fish in a net. Or
else, some of them do, floating in and
out again with mild complacency, un-
conscious of any harm, while every
one tries to assume the same appear
ance of happy Inconsistencies.


Take young Mr.. Chafinch for in
stance. He would not Intentionally
say anything personal for worlds, and
vet he can scarcely open his lips with
out committing himself in some way.
He has been within an ace of having
his head punched two or three times
by certain erasciable victims of his un-
fortunate speeches, when all the time
he was under the impression that he
was saving something very compli-
mentary or very witty. So sure as
there is an opening for Mr.. Chaf6neh's
special faculty, so sure is he to take
advantage of it. He rather paides
himself on filling up awkward pauses
in conversation and if he can do
nothing better, he will ask a riddle.
Unfortunately his riddles are general
ly personal. Conversation having
tagged in the middle of dinner, Mr..
Chafinch thinks he can not do better
than set it going again by asking one
of his pet riddles, 1t so happens that
his opposite neighbor is a lawyer E;
what can be more appropriate, then,
than to ask the company generally,
and this gentleman in particular, the
welI-known riddle about the resem-
bIance between an uneasy person in
bed ? Everybody wonders and looks
HI t1E CCl44uZ1 anu
smiles blandly. At last they gave it
up, and Mr.. Chaffinch does the same
with the answer. Now the riddle, al
though it may be good one, is hard
ly complimentary to the legal profess
sion; so the answer falls flat, aud the
lawyer seems to see the joke less than
any one. III a riddle does not seem to
strike him, Mr.. Chaffinch makes con-
versation by saying playfully across
the table:


81 saw you the other day, Mrs,
Macaw.~


!" says the lady, with sweet
smile, "Where was that ?"


"Ah! l wonder where; can't you
guess ?" returns Mr.. Chaffinch smiling.
s'The Miss Macaws were with you,"
he adds, as sort of assistance to Mrs.
Macaw's memory.


"Wherever could it have been? ? Do
tell" scream the three Miss Macaws
ia chorus.


Eyerybody's attention is now arous-
ed, Mr.. Chaffinch's heart is not ada
mantle and at last, as if he were Civ
ing an answer to one of his riddles,
he says, SIT was at the corner of Four
teenth street ;" md then he goes on as
If he the best part were still to come
-"and you were just getting out of a
'bus."


As Mrs. Macaw and her daughters
are never supposed to ride in any
more public vehicle than a hired
broughman at least it is well for Mr..
Chaffinch's peace of mind that he does
not hear the remarks that are made
about him by the four ladies when
they go home.


Althoug Mr.. Chafinch is always
getting into trouble when he is in
company, in his own family he gets
on smoothly enough. 1t is only when
he is engaged in making polite con-
versation that his mishaps occur, and
at home he seldom is so overwhelmed
with sense of politeness as to manu-.
facture conversation.


Poor Mr.. Jones is the man to put
his foot in it at home. He lives in {
state of continual dread of what his
next words may bring upon him. 1
is hardly his fault, poor man, as he is
blessed with that most trying of all
possessions, partner of an uncer
tain temper. Not that she scolds-oh
no but she is one of those ladies who
in their own opinion, suffer perpetual