smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1877

ATTENDING HIS OWN FUNERAL.
Says a hackman to a patron, pointing
TO cabby sitting on his box near by


"You see that man !? Well, he at
tended his own funeral"


"Not really" exclaims the surprised
passenger.


"I9l tell you how it was" continues
the cabmar. THAT man complained
not long ago to his wife of hard
times, and said he was going to drown
bimselt Now it happened on that
very day body, resembling his, was
fished out of the river, and as he was
not heard from for three days. the
family corcluded he was dead. Now,
on the day Of the funeral, he was rid.
ing along street, when he spied his
wife and all his relations following a
hearse. That's sad, says he to him
self, there's my poor old aunt, who is
being buried So he joins in the
line. AS luck would have it, the
aunt he thought dead turns around
and speaks to him. Then, you see,
those two dead people begin talking
to each other, and the procession
stops And they tell me that liveli-
er funeral than that never was seen in
our town."
Year: 1877

The following is from an article by
George S. Merriam, in Scribner for
October


The question of how far and how


fast the church is actually coming 20
this conception OF a religion of charac-
ter is one to which it is best not to
give too sweeping or confident an
swcr. But it is to be noted first, that


the radical renovation and puritication
of an historical religious system is by
no means impossible. Other religions
than Christianity have experienced
some degree of such regeneration
but this capacity peculiarly belongs TO
the genius Of Christianity, and is one
secret of its strength. The Protestant
Reformation, with all its limitations
and drawbacks, was a notable instance
OF the selt-purliying power Of ChIis-
tianity the moral and spiritual reno.
walton of the Catholic church, which
was the counter stroke to the Protes-
tant revolt supplied another instance,
though with larger infusion Of un-
worthy clements and both before
and since that period there have been
not few cases where either the whole
church, or an important branch, has
reused from corruption and lethargy
to purer life and fresh conquests 1t
seems not over sanguine to find IN the
signs of oul times many indications
yielding hope of another and a pro-
found regeneration OF the religious
spirit. These indications point to the
identification OF religion with personal
character, character at once in its sim
plest and largest sense; as right-do-
ing,--the faithful, patient pursuit Of
all moral excellence; as aspiration and
toll toward perfect manhood, a
manhood firmly planted in fidelity to
all human and earthly relationships,
and bound by conscious and vital kim
ship to the spiritual power OF the uni
verse. This religion, when developed,
will recognize goodness as the one
thing needtul it will find the noblest
employment for all lofty and spiritual
faiths in applying them to produce in
tegrity, purity, love, joy, peace, in the
lives OF men it will tiud in such fruit
the best approval OF the faiths that
nurtured II ii will, let us hope, by
making men morally better, and puri
flying their minds Of the animalism,
bitterness and seltishness that dim the
moral vision, enable them to discern
as by intuition the great spiritual real
tiles about which we question, thus
making good the promise that the
pure in heart shall see God. While a
religion Of character will thus be in
the strongest sympathy with spiritual
faith, it will not condemn any man,
whatever his belief, who in his lite is
pure and benevolent, it will not be
afraid to accept the teaching of Jesus,
that the supreme test'question is
whether we have mlniStered to the
hungry, the naked, the sorrowtul, and
the siuning. 1t will affirm without
reservation that the only real heresy
is wrong doing.
Year: 1877

There Is said 10 be a girl some
where in New England whose heart
was SO warm that it burnt through her
Bosom. ."-Eachange. This is nothing
to a good-looking girl we know, whose
heart is SO cold that it freezes to a
fellows in no time. Puck.
Year: 1877

he was in, was like one continual
long roll on the drum for more
than fifty minutes. The Turks
must have lost heavily in their
counter attacks, for we saw them
come boldly into the open three
times. There are four redoubts on
on the Sofa road. Skobelef car
ried the two furthest east; that is,
nearest the town Of Plevna and
lower down the hill. They were
rectangular and all open at the
gorge purposely, so as to be COM
manded from the higher western
ones. He only succeeded in retain
ing them for twenty-four hours, for
on the night of the 18th the Turks
pounded him out 'of them by close
artillery fire from above.


All the army hears with satisfac-
ton that Skobelef has been pro-
NOTED lieutenant general to-day for
his splendid conduct on the 18th.
Lieutenant general at thirty.two
Yet the rank has been won step by
gteD.
Year: 1877

If you are in trouble or quandary,
tell your wife-that is, if you have
one-all about it at once. Ten to
one her perceptions will solve your
difficulty sooner than all your logic.
The wit Of woman has been praised,
but her instincts are quicker and
keener than her reason. Counsel
with your wife, or your mother, or
your sister, and be assured that
light will flash upon your darkness.
Women are too commonly adjudged
yerdant in all but purely womanly
affairs. No philosophical student
Of the sex would thus judge them.
Their intuitions or insights are the
most subtle, and if they cannot see
a cat in the meal, there is no cat
there. | advise a man to keep none
Of his affairs a secret from his
wife. Many a home has been hap
PLY saved, and many fortune re-
trleved by a mans full confidence
in his vile. Woman is far more a
seer, a prophet, than man, if she
be given a fair chance. AS gene
raj rule, wives confde the minute
of their plans and thoughts to their
husbands. Why not reciprocate, if
but for the pleasure Of meeting
confidence? | am certain no man
can succeed in the world so well as
he who takes partner of his pur-
poses and hopes. What is wrong in
his impulse or judgment, she will
check and set right with her almost
universally right instincts, And
what she most deserves is conf
dence, without which love is never
without o shadow,
Year: 1877

The other day a groceryman at
Vallejo gave a large party, at which
the daughter of the carriage painter
who lived next door created a de-
cided sensation. 1t was not that
she was more handsomely attired
than the other ladies present, but
that when she gyrated in the "dapce
Of death" she was observed to dis
play the only pair of pink silk
stockings in the room. She left the
house for Q few moments at the ex-
piration Of the dance, and in the
hext waltz exhibited q pair of light
blue dittoes. An hour later her
crushed and exasperated female
friends behela these supplemented
by further hose of a delicate chooo-
late shade. And so ii went on until
Year: 1877

her miserable rivals determined to
follow her the next time she disap-
peared. They traced her to her
fathers paint shop in the back
yard where she was discovered, brush
in hand, and about ornamenting
her neither extremities with final
artistic coat Of light salmon. The
exulting spies rushed back with the
damaging news, but was too late.
The men were all too tight to un-
derstand, the music had gone home
and the lights were being put out.
Thus it is that fraud and duplicity
triumph, while honest simplicity
walks around with a darn on its
calf and hole in its heel.
Year: 1877

think among themselves. l have
no doubt that, did every London
shop-keeper dare to be honest in
the utterance Of his views, half or
more Of the shops in London would
be decorated with a similar legend
in less than twenty-four hours.
Year: 1877

This notorious character, one Of the accomplices in the murder of McAlister, of our county in 1873, is again at large not. however, without having cost our county an additional sum of something like a thousand dollars. It will be re. membered that when the decd was perpetratcd he made his es- cape into Texas. There lie re- mained until some few weeks ago he was brought back on rcqni

 sition from Gov. Garland, and was arraigned before the December term of our Circuit Court for trial. A change of venue to Yell county was taken and trial of the case was had at Dardanelle week be. fore last, resulting in his being sentenced to the State penetentia- ry for term of ten years. The sentence was almost universally considered most lucky one for him, the general belief having been that he would be convicted of murder in the first degree. After passage of the sentence upon him, he was placed under guard in the upper story of the brick building, erected by tue Masons, and thro, the carelessness of the guard he was afforded an opportunity to ef- feet his escape by jumping out of window. He is yet at large, and thus through the carelessness of a guard, all such carelessness must be looked upon as criminal and our law makers should provide a severe punishment therefor, the enas ofjustice have been thwarted and desperate criminal is loose upon the community.
Year: 1877

Some little excitement was caused in our town on the morn ing after Christmas by the arriv- al of a dispatch that there ha,i been a shooting spree at Atkins on Christmas night, resulting in the wounding of seven men.

 When the particulars of the af- fair reached us, however, it prov ed to be nothing of very serious nature. It seems that there was a ball at the masonic hall on Christmas night, and some Ger mans who applied for admission were put out in pretty rough style. After being put out of the house the germans felt very in dignant and deternined to have satisfaction. Several knock downs followed, and finally the affair eliminated in squad of the boys from the hall, who had step- ped out of the building, being fir ed into with shot gun charged with shot. Seven received slighs wounds, Mir. Newt. Holder field and Will Ragland being worse hurt than any of the rest.

 The affair was investigated by a magistrate, but no evidence was elicited to show who did the shooting.
Year: 1877

The wearinrss of waiting is som, thing
that collective masses OF men nowadays
can not long endure. Individuals may
exercise unhOunded patience because OF
their strong personal interest in II given
result, hut patient. long enduring in.
terest can not be maintained in the
minds of the whole people by matter
that concerns them, however deeply,
but only in their corporate capacity.
Thus it is that most people are sick and
tired of the unsettled Presidential prob.
lem. Politicians, personally and pecun-
iariIy concerned in the result, have
endurance enough to fight it out OH any
line that promises success, il it takes all
next summer. The people, who are only
interested in general way in seeing the
rightful government prevail, are weary
of the whole business, and would he
glad to have it ended now, and really
care very little which way it is ended


The office holders understand this wea
riDess OF the public mind exactly, and
they know that in it their opportunity is
found. Because the whole people are
weary Of waiting, the men in power may
settle the matter pretty much as they
please, as long as they do settle it. This
is unfortunate, but it is true. 1t is II
condition OF things that has been not q
little promoted by the growing con
sciousness that whilst right is on one
side might is on the other. The sturdy
Anglo.SaxOn practice of persisting trm-
ly, tenaciously and to the end, in de-
mands that right shall be done, seems to
be eflete hereab0uts. We have found
another, but not better, way. We have
become Mexicanized Not that we have
yet broken out into that kind of open
war in which it often happens nobody is
Killed, Dut certain IL Is that we have
submitted the gravest problem of our
Government to be solved by species of
tilibustering by which pretty nearly
every body is demoralized. Out upon
such q process! IF we would but stand
by the honest Anglo.Saxon sturdiness OF
our forefathers, we would taketo heart
the lesson that no end, however seem
ingly good, can justify the employment
OF evil means-that nothing but shame,
dlshonor and confusion of face can come
OF all endcavor to make two and two
appear equal to five, or to seek, by false
counting, to turn minority into ma.
jority. A little more of that sturdiness,
too, would enable US to persist to the
end in firm determination to see that
right Is done.-News Letter.
Year: 1877

THE MOFFETT WHIsKEY-LAw-PREPA
TI0xs TO PUT IT IN FORCE-NEw MoDEL.-
There has been Il great demand upon the
State officers for copies of the Motfett Whls-
kev-law. 1t is valuable contribution to
literature. People in all directions are send
ing here for il. Some want to see II as a
mere matter of curiosity, others to look into
its legal features, and many more who are


Immediately interested desire to see what
are the provisions they will be required to
conform to.


Persons recently returned from the North
say that the law is generally regarded there
as temperance measure, or Maine liquor
law, and those who know that it is intended
to raise revenue think the "register" is
modelled after the street-car bell-punch.


The printed bills OF an uncommon shape,
being remarkable for the length OF the
pages, and was SO arranged for convenience
of handling. Bar-keepers will wish to re-
fer to it continually, and will want to run Il
string through one corner to hang it up by
near at hand, like an almanac or lightning
calculator.


Mr.. Otis Deane is now making for the
Auditor better model Of the register than
has yet been constructed. The ones here
tofore made for the purpose OF illustrating
lDe DIAN vi tut law HOG So
perfect and welI-tinished as the forthcoming
one will be.


The public will always think that the
register is something very much after the
order of the beil-punch, and it will be inn
possible to correct the idea. All the same,
the register is nothing like the bell-punch-
though that may have suggested it. The
whole machine is contained in box about
six inches deep and twelve inches square,
and the gong inside is struck by q crank,
and the same motion win cause the regis
tration of the number OF drinks on the
dial The dial is about as big as watch-
face and is alongside OF the crank on the
front of the box. The Auditor is to con-
tract ior the manufacture Of the registers.
After enough for the cities OF the Common
wealth are ready, the commissioners OF the
revenue for the cities will be called together
and the operations explained. Meanwhile,
the Auditor will be preparing his instruc-
tions to commissioners. This work will be
a very severe and exacting one, and will re-
ouire great care and labor.


The Liquor-Dealers' Protective Associac
tion are making active efforts to test the le-
eality OF the law. They will hold an ad-
iourned meeting this evening to hear the
report OF the committee appointed to con-
suit with counsel.
Year: 1877

THE Blues CELERRATIoN.-Ac committee
OF the r. L. I. Blues charged with the duty
of making arrangements for the celebration
OF the company's anniversary on the 10th OF
May met yesterday afternoon at the office OF
Captain j. S. Wise. The details were dis
cussed to some extent. 1t seems certain
that the approaching anniversary will be
observed in style becoming the past his
tory of this ancient and honorable COM
mand, and indicative OF the future OF sue
cess and usefulness before it. at the next
company meeting two lieutenants Will be
elected, and the organization will then be
complete.
Year: 1877

A minister was once riding through sec
tion of the State of South Carolina, where
custom forbade inn-keepers to take pay
from the clergy who stayed with them.
The minister in question took supper with
out prayer, and ate his breakfast without
prayer or grace, and was about to take his
breakfast when mine host" presented his
bill. SAY, sir" said he, 81 am clergy
mani" That may be, responded Boniface
but you came here slept like sinner
and ate and drank like sinner, and now
you shall pay like sinner"
Year: 1877

Old man TWEED has not yet forgotten his
cunning, and, if reports bo true, he has spent
his leisure hours in figuring out new Ring
through which he hopes to escape from Jail
and assume position once more. 1t will be
remembered that he refused to testify before
the Investigating Committee appointed by
tho Legislature, though he comes up smiling
at the beck of q committee OF Aldermen.
This is assumed to be due to the machine
tions of the anti-T11DES faction and JOHN
For, who IS preparing political holocaust
for JOIN MoRR1ssET. TwEEp's testimony
does not differ from that refused by Attor-
ney-General FArRcH1Ip, but at the coming
Convention FA1RcHnn is to be thrown over
board and man nominated who will cs-
TEEN TwEED's revelations es Of portentous
importance, and order the old rogue's re-
lease If the new Ring is successful, there
need be no surprise when Mr. TWEED plnces
his hand on his heart and announces him
self at the head of it.
Year: 1877

In a pouring min, and followed by a long
and mourning procession, the remains Of
LOUIS ADoLPHE THHRs, ex-Presidcnt OF
France, were yesterday conveyed to the
grave. Hundreds Of thousands lined the
roadwnys, testifying by every mark of re-
spect their appreciation Of their loss in ''the
historian Of the Revolution" and at the
cemetery speeches by some of the most
eminent men in the Republican Empire
made the imposing ceremony moro i'm
pressiye. The only evidence of feeling
was manifested by the Archbishop of
Paris, who refused to permit the use Of
the 31adeline for the funeral services. which
were held at the parish church of Notre
Dame de Lorette. During the service and
while the procession marched to the grave
all was quiet and all respectful. There was
no political demonstration, and the body OF
the dead statesman was laid away lecently
and i'll order, without provoking any of the
disturbances TINT might be expected of Paris
in such troublous times.
Year: 1877

Another terrible famine las broken ont in
Asia, and is desolatiug the little Kingdom of
Corea, on the eastern frontier of China, and
the natives are rapidly dying Of starvation.
Like the Indiar famine, it has arisen from
the failure of the crops last season, owing to
the want Of rain, and from the consumption
of oil reserve supplies. To add to their
1niseries, the plague has broken out among
the people. In their distress, they called
upon the Government to aid them, but the
King turned deaf ear until his subjects rose
i'll rebellion aid forced The Government to
open relieving Offices, where rice obtained
from China and Japan is dealt out. A more
horrible combination than civil war, the
plague, and famine, could hardly afaict q
peorlc
Year: 1877

/. Senator BAYAnp comes out squarely as an
admirer and 1ndorser Of President HAYES
Southern policy. At Richmond yesterday
he was asked what he thought of it, md his
reply WAS one of unequivocal approval. He
thinks that rs per cent of the Republican
party now see that tho time had come for q
change in the treatment Of the Southern
question, and there should be no reason why
Democrats and Republicans cannot approve
the results as they find them.
Year: 1877

Louisville is making preparations for the
grandcst celebration the city las ever known.
President HAYES and his party will spend
the 18th and 18th there, and arrangements
of stupendous character have been made
to outshine the rest of the country in the
reception. The town will be decorated. and
other townsinyitcd to assist, aud from the dis
patches it looks as though Louisville were
about to expire III blaze of glory.
Year: 1877

A subscriber to the New York Sun wrote to 1t
few days ago to ask If it could furnish him
with back number Of the paper; it was pub
lished, he said, within the last SIX months, anu
had an article in it calling HATES fraud.
Year: 1877

obliged to deposit the money. But, the Rev.
enro law having been passed before the law!
creating the Appellate Court, there was no
specific provision requiring deposit in case
Of IN appeal to the latter Court, but only to
the Supreme Court. So the ta1-fghters said
they would take their cases up to the Appellate
Court and not deposit the money. But Judge
WALLACE has come to- the rescue again by
deciding that, as the Appellate Court has no
actual existence as yet, has never been organ
lied, and is not in operation, there can be no
appeal this yea, to that Court. The force of
this reasoning cannot be questioned, SO it
only remains for those tax-hghters who de-
sire to appeal to 60 to the Supreme Court,
and meanwhile deposit the full amount of
their taxes rs the law requires. It is proba-
bic that most of them will decide not to do
this, hut will simply neglect to pay the tar,
and permit the property to be transferred to
the State, and the usual penalty attached.
We believe it amounts to borrowing the
money at about 10 per cent, and tax-fghtors,
as a rule, would rather stand this than pay
over to the city the money which it needs SO
badly.
Year: 1877

He would bo cruel man who would deny
the gentle savage little recreation, especial
II when the abused redskin has been on the
war-path for months and deprived of his fun
and his whisky. The dispatches give details
OF harmless. necessary butchering
of divers and sundry Cinnamon by
JosEPH's bani, parenthetically stating
that the attack was a sort of summer
vacation for the overworked Indians. It is
to be regretted that any people should be
inundated to make Nez-Perce holiday, but
if any were to suffer, it might as we'll be
Cinnamon, whose peculiarities of scalp and
hair will do more to defeat the fun than
those Of any other nation.
Year: 1877

The orangemen of Montreal, though they
have every right to feel indignant at their
trentu1ent on the 18th, erred in refusing the
olive branch proposition Of the Irish Cath
o1ic lodges to take part in HAoKErT's fu-
neral. The overture was apo1osetic and
pacific, and should havo been accepted in
the spirit in which it was made.
It is impossible for civilization to uphold
mob-rule, but when misguided party offors
the best amends it can make its efforts in
tile restoration of peace should bo treated
respectfully, Us looking toward the solution
of one of the most difficult problems of tho
Year: 1877

As usual, British citizens arc issuing dec
larations of war at the rate of 'bushel a
day, and wondering why the Government
don't back them up. A penny-a-iner in the
Current Rcuieso earns his precarious beer
money for week by logically demonstrating
that he don't know what he is talking about.
He claims that the capture of Constantinople
by Russian infantry would be an act of
piracy, and supplements this conclusion with
a warning to the Government which is i'm
portant solely as showing what remarkable
trash correspondents will telegraph at enor-
nous expense.
Year: 1877

This is not IL good year for the tax-fghters.
Having exhausted all the technicalities, and
being forced to IN appeal from Judge WAL
LACE, they thought they discovered crevice
through which they could eyade the neces-
sity, imposed BY the new law, OF depositing
the full amount Of the tax appealed in the
hands OF the Court. As the purpose of most
Of the ta1-fghters is merely to gain time and
postpone payment as long as possible, an ap-
peal would be Of no use to them il they we're
Year: 1877

Yesterday at Lake Bluff was devoted to
Michigan and manifest effort to get SCOOP
on the Rev. Capt BUSDY 4 number of
temperance people talked well and eloauent-
~ but it was Of no avail. Michigan is we'd
ded to its whisky bottle, and while there NAV
be some who, through infrmity Of the throat,
cannot drink, the balance of the population
Is gwen over to its idol, from the western
bank to the Detroit Free Press,
Year: 1877

An order was applied for in tho Criminal
Curt yesterday instructing the Protection
Life to show some ca11se why it should not
be wound up and its charter declared null
and void The petition alleges gross frauds
in almost every conceivable shane.