smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1878

What nuisance are pockets. How rap
idly they gil up with everything man does
not want. How they always do not contain
anything he does want How rarely can he
find dollar in them. How frequently can
he find bills in them. And lint. And crumbs
of tobacco, plug and 6ne-cut. And shreds of
cigars. And little pills. And newspaper
scraps. And suspender buttons. And holes.
And cloth buttons. That is the queerest of
all queer things for man to carry around in
his pockets, and yet, 1 suppose if all the pock-
cts in America were emptied this moment,
you could tally the number of suits represent
ed BY the number of cloth buttons to be found
in the pile. A man will pick up a button
that bursts from his coat, examine it careful
", see that the stufing thereof has all been
pulled out of the place where the eye ought
to be, will know that it is not, and never will
be worth continental red cent again, and he
will put it in his pocket and carry it until
that suit wears out and he gets trusted for
new pair Of clothes. ..".


I once had suit made (this was centuries
ago, when the times were good and everybody
had credit) that had thirteen pockets. The
day after put it on, every pocket was so full
of things 1 never had any use for, was
weighed down and doubled over like an old
man. As the things wore out or were lost,
(there wasn't a unit in the entire mass that
anybody would steaD, I replaced them with
new things, generally heavier, bulkier and
more utterly worthless By and by the pock-
cts, not being made for eternity, began to wear
out. When some of the pockets gave way,
and their precious cargoes fell to the ground,
I saw none of them again forever. When
others of the pockets wore out, the things
went down into my boots, and l went limping
and clanking around like manacled felon.


Then I reformed. I had suit made that
contained absolutely no pockets. And that
was worse than the other. Istill accumula-
ted the same amount of manly trash, and had
not wherein to warehouse the same. I car
ried letters in my hat like an old man. 1
was compelled to lay borrowed pocket knives
out on the desk in plain view. and their long
forgotten owners would come in, recognize the
whiting things, and reclaim them. | laid
my creditors letters down for other people to
pick up and read and chuckle over. l had
to carry all my money in my hands, and how
does man look, I'd like to know, going about
the streets with nickel in each hand? 1t
isn't digni6ed, and it isn't safe. To be sure,
this happened on pay day, but even once a
month is too often for such reckless display.
So what are we to do ?-The Hawkeys Man.
Year: 1878

s9" A man made bet that he would pass
twenty. five men over Waterloo bridge, Lon.
don, without toll being taken from them, and
be won. He marshaled his men and asked
the tollman to count them. AS soon as the
last man had passed the turnstile and all we're
walking briskly away, he got into dispute
with the tollman as to the number that he
had passed. Twenty-Five, said the tollman.
I VOW it was twenty seven, asserted the other.
The dispute continued until the last man was
out of sight, when the speculator paid his
half-penny and said /: Well, after all, it is no
matter of mine. Good morning.
Year: 1878

In order that the merchants Of Mi
Ian might have their advertising
frames separate from each, subject to
removal at their discretion, | took
the opportunity Iat an additional ex-
pense) to place each one in frame
by itself. have been informed
since leaving Milan that a number of
frames have been stolen. 1t would be
unreasonable to hold me responsible
for the act in consideration. must
acknowledge the idea to he expert.
mental on my part, and since the ex-
pertinent has been acted upon at the
expense of the merchants of Milan,
and in order to show a willingness. to
replace the same, duplicate copy
will be furnished them upon notiica-
ton to me (at Franklin, Ky to that
effect.
Hoping the above explanation will
prove satisfactory, with the assurance
that the future will convince them to
that effect, / am


Yours Respectfully,


FRED SHELL.
Year: 1878

There being considerable diphtheria
in different parts of the county, and
one or two eases in town, we think it
well to publish the following extract,
taken from one of our exchanges. One
of our own physicians here has used
it with satisfactory results. and we see
RECOMMENDED it Lighly by the papers.


Should you or any of your family
be attacked with diphtheria, be not
alarmed, as it is easily and speedily
cured without trouble. When it was
raging in England few weeks ago, l
accompanied DIR. Field on his rounds
to witness the soscalled wonderful
cures he performed, while the pa>
tients of Others were dropping OH all
sides. The remedy, to he rapid must
be simple. All he took with him was
powder of sulphur and a quill, and
with these he cured every patient
without exception. He put spoon
full Of -four Of birthstone into wine
glass of water, and stirred it with his
finger. instead of a spoon, as the sui
phur does not readily amalgamate
with water. When the sulphur was
mixed, he gave it as a gargle, and in
ten minutes the patient was out of
danger. Birthstone kills every specie
of fungus in man, beast and plant in
a few minutes. In extreme cases, in
which he had been called just in the
nick of time, when the fungus was too
nearly closed to allow the gargling, he
blew the sulphur through quill into
the throat, and after the fungus had
shrank to allow of it, then the garg
ling. He never lost a patient Of dipth>
theria/ If a patient cannot gargle,
take live coal, put it on shovel,
and sprinkle a spoonful or two Of -four
birthstone ut a time upon it, let the
sufferer inhale it, and the fungus will
die. If plentifully used, the whole
room may be filled to suffocatiOn; the
patient can walk about in it, inhaling
the fumes, with doors and windows
shut. The mode of fumIgating
room with sulphur has often cured
most violent attacks Of cold in the
head, chests, etc, at any time, and is
recommended in cases of consumption
and asthma"
Year: 1878

A man from the country dropped
into one of our dental offices a few
days since and asked the operator,
"Will it hurt me to have a tooth
pulled?" The dentist told him he
would not charge tor drawing it if it
did not hurt. Seating himself, he told
the doctor to proceed. After an enor'
nous grinder had been extracted, the
countrvman arose with bland smile,
put on us coat and walked out, re-
marking that it did not hurt g bit.
The tooth carper:or "passed."
Year: 1878

WASHINGTON, Jan. IA, 1878.


No. 117-Hall, administering ol Benson, VS.. De
Cuir-Error TO the Supreme Court OF Lousiana--In
this case Benson master OF steamboat enr oiled
and licensed under the laws Of the United States ana
plying between New Orleans and Vicksburg He re-
fused passage 10 thus defendant account OF her
State forbiddng discrimination by common carriers
within tho State account Of race or color Tho ae-
fence was that the law the State was void act as
the business OF tho defendants vessel concerned,
IL was engaged In interstate trade and CON-
merce. matter wholly within tho Jurisdiction
and control OF Congress. the state Court held tho
The statute s regarded IN accordance with the de-
cision below MS requiring those engaged In Interstate
commerce TO give all persons travelling In Louisiana
upon the public cOnvcyanccs, employed In their bust
equal rights and privileges without distinction
account OF race color and 10 said that for this
the Court has nothing to do with IL as rcgu
lation OF internal commerce or rs affecting anything
else than commerce among the states, ana TO this
the Court say there be no doubt that exclusive
power has been conferred upon Congress- rhe
difficulty has never been as to the existence Of this
power, but as TO what is TO De deemed encroach-
ment upon u, and II may be safely said that
State Legislation which seeks to impose direct bur-
den upon Interstate commerce, or TO interfere directly
with its freedom encroaches upon the exclusive po
OF Congress. he statute IN question occupies this
position. 1t does not act the business through
local Instruments to be employed after the vehicle of
conveyance comes within the state but directly upon
the business 1t comes into the state without
or gees out from within. While IL purports only to
control The carrier when engaged within the Staio 1t
must necessarily influence his conduct to extent
IN the management Of his business throughout his
entire voyage.


Reversed The Chief Justice delivered the opinion.
Mr. Justice Clifford read elaborate concurring
opinion.
Year: 1878

How To MAKE Cows GIVE Milk
A writer in the Southern Farmer
says: ellis COW gives all the milk
that is wanted in u family Of eight,
and that from it, after taking all that
is required for other purposes, 26O
pounds of butter were made this year.
This is in part his treatment of the
COW: If you desire to get a large
yield of rich milk, give your COW
every day water slightly warm and
slightly salted, in which bran has
been stirred at The rate Of one quart
to two gallons Of water. You will
find, if you have not tried this daily
practice, that your COW will give
twenty-five per cent. more milk lmme-
d,ately under the effects Of it, and she
will become so attached to the diet as
to refuse to drink clear water unless
very thirsty. But this mess she will
drink, almost any time, and ask tor
more. The amount of this drink nec-
essary is an ordinary waterpailthl at a
time, morning, noon and night"
Year: 1878

Among the hills of the Anglo -Indi.
an frontier cunning is quite as highly
esteemed as personal prowess, but
even these masters Of stratagem are
occasionally outwitted. A Hindoo
trader, who had occasion to pass
through their country recently, laid
out all his money in several large dia.
monds, which he bound round his
head with soiled rag, made to look
like bandage Of a wound. He then
put on his ragged clothes, and loaded
a donkey with loaves OF, spiced bread,
such as the mountainers like, putting
"a good dose of opium in each. He
soon fell in With half dozen briganos,
who paid no attention to the ragged
traveller, but pouDced upon the bread
and ate the whole of it. The opium
soon put them to sleep, whereupon
the traveller took what money they
had, their arms and the best of their
clothes, and went his way in peace.
But he took care not to travel by that
road again.
Year: 1878

A SANITARY HINT. AS the season
of autumn advances, the heat Of the
noonday!is relieved by the GOODNESS o1
the evening and night, and there is a
strong temptation to sit out of doors
IN search of comfort. But the eve
ming air is damp, and heavily laden
with the condensation of the vapors
which the suns heat evolved in the
daytime. The vapors are, for breath
ing, simply ''malaria," or unwhole-
some air; and it must be high state
of health which can breathe such ar
with impunity, while the body is in
repose. The frame is exhausted with
the work and heat of the day, and is,
therefore, peculiarly susceptible Sit
in doors, or under shelter. If you
must 20 out for GOODNESS, walk [Ex.
change.
Year: 1878

SEEK INNOCENT PLUAsURE.-Seek
pleasure whenever you can consistent
ly do SO. No enjoyment, however in
considerable, is confined to the pres
ent moment. A man is the happier
for life from having once made an
agreeable tour, or lived any length Of
time with pleasant people, or enjoyed
any considerable intervals of innocen,
pleasure.
Year: 1878

The jealous wife of Cincinnati
shoemaker admitted that it was neces.
sary for him to put on women the new
shoes that they bought, but she Oh.
.jected to his performing that service
in the case of old and consequently
easy shoes. A young woman went
into his shop to have her shoe mended
while she waited. When it was fin.
ished she placed her foot in his lap to
have it put on and buttoned: While
he was absorbed in this his wife came
to the door, and the scene aroused he,
jealousy. She went out and got
clothes line, doubled it to convenient
length, came back, and remarking that
she had been married to him fifteen
years, and he had never offered to put
on her shoes, she gave him lashing
with the rope in the presence of the
Innocent customer.
Year: 1878

Washington, Feb. IA political
crisis is impending, and before many
days it is very probable there will be a
radical change. in the policy of Presi-
dent Hayes toward the South, at least
so far as Louisiana is concerned. The
President and the entire Cabinet are
very much wrought up by the trial and
conviction of Gen. Anderson, and make
no attempt to conceal their feelings.
The statement sent out by Secretary
Sherman is not alone the utterance of
his mind but the opinion of the entire
Cabinet and the President himself.


A prominent Republican who is
member of the National Republican
committee says he is informed private
ly that the administration is trying to
force the Louisiana authorities to give
Anderson new trial, and that failing
in this the President will write and
make public letter to Gov. Nichols,
the outlines of which have already been
agreed upon by the President and some
of the members of the Cabinet This
gentleman does not believe that the
President intends to take any part in
the Louisiana complications arising
out of the prosecution of the returning
board until he is fully satisfied the au-
thorities there do not allow the accused
fair trials, but enter deliberately upon
the work of persecution on account of
political opinions.
Year: 1878

The Secretary of War says that he
has recommended to the President not
to make any more appointments in the
army from civil life until the West
Point graduating class of June next has
been commissioned. The President has
acquiesced in this suggestion, and the
hundreds of applicants who are pressed
from all quarters will have no chance
to enter the army unless the pending
bill for the increase of the retired list
passes Congress.
Year: 1878

THE era of supernatural humbug ap-
pears to be upon us again, and old
Pennsylvania appears, just now, to be
the field of its special performances.
Among the marvellous events reported
within week or two in that State, are
man who died and rose from the dead
after having had glimpse of heaven;
a woman vino died of consumption and
was brought to life and perfect health
by a miracle performed by priest; and
witch who cures all kinds of sickness
without medicine or touch. There are
still some people in the world who are
foolish enough to believe all this sort
CT thing, which only proves that the
cloud of the dark ages has not yet COM
pletely disappeared.
Year: 1878

A NUMBER of the principal railways
in England are following the example
of the Union Pacific and other Ameri-
can roads, in assuming control of the
express business over their lines.
Year: 1878

With proper care and little inge-
nuity, very humble home may be
made pleasant and attractive. Furni-
ture is often discarded because il has
grown shabby, when it might easily be
renovated and made serviceable. For
instance, if you have among your furni-
ture chamber-set that has become old
fashioned or dilapidated, before you dis
pose OF it, see how nicely you can make
IT look with a trifling outlay Of time
and money. Have some paint mixed
for you of any pretty light tint, and
give the furniture two even coats Of it,
After it is dry varnish it, and ] am
sure you will think the improvement
compensates for the labor Kitchen
chairs and tables, or any of the com
mon wooden furniture of which there
is more or less in all our houses, may be
improved in the same way. Very
pretty drapery window curtains for
sleeping rooms may be made out Of
cheap bOrdered percale. They should
hang from q cornice covered with a
plating Of the bordering, and looped
back with a band Of the same. have
seen room furnished with one of the
furnished sets mentioned above, blue
and white percale curtains and a simple
mating on the floor, that had a charm
ing effect. One who is obliged to put
the best side out with the least expense.
knows the satisfaction there is in such a
success. Perfect order and ncatness
will lend an air OF elegance to the most
cheaply furnished room, if good taste is
observed.
Year: 1878

A reporter introduced himself to n
pleasantfaced, sun-browned lady, who in
her unassuming personality represents
the only female rival TO Boyton, Sydney
Cook, and other famous professional
divers of the century, and was gratifed
TO hear that Mrs. Consadine would detail
her strange experiences with pleasure
Originally wardess of steamship, on
boaId which her husband served az head
waiter, she had gone with him 10 Mexico
upon his entering the service Of pearl
fishing company as diver. Watching
her husband and his mates at their work,
she fancied she would like 10 share their
labOrs. Her first experiment was made
in shallow water, and she came up bleed
ing at the nostrils, mouth and ears, and
tainted upon reaching the surface
Nothing daunted, she tried il again and
again, until she found herself able TO re-
main under water a long as any Of the
men. In 1874, Mr.. Consadine was sufTo-
Gated through the breaking Of his air
supplying tube, and his widow succeeded
TO The vacancy Physically her sex
proved no hindfance, but the people at
the fisheries were lOath TO employ her,
and she would have had TO give up her
strange calling but for a Captain Hartley,
who gave her n Job on the schooner
Gaviota, vessel carrying smuggled sil-
yer, which had sunk on sandbank
eighteen miles from the shore, iD seventy
five feet OF water. The adventurous wo-
man found her task 80 unpleasant that
she was inclined TO Telinquish il after
once going down; but nettled by the
way the men sneered at her on account
of her sex, she persevered until the last
cask Of dollars was brought up.


That she held out TO the end says much
for Mrs. COnssdine's courage. One day,
Pablo Vasquez, frst-rate diver, went
down TO put torpedo in position 10 blow
up the schooner's deck. Before he had
come up again, the man in charge Of the
battery exploded the torpedo, and Pablo
was killed. On another occasion she was
down at the bottom when the Mexicans
attacked the Americans, and the man In
charge Of the air-pump had 10 leave his
post TO defend himself OF course there
was sudden stoppage Of the air supply.
She felt n frightful sense Of oppression
at the chest, there WAS a thunderOus roar
ing in her ears, and hot shiver ran
through her body. Luckily the man at
the single-line was still at his place. and
answered her call, bringing her to the
surface nearly dead, her face all black
and blOod-stained. Another two minutes
under water would have killed her; as it
was, she was incapaciated for work for
p couple days. No wonder that, brave
rs she had proved herself TO be, the femi-
nine diver, when asked il she intended
to follow the perious calling any longer,
shook her head significantly, as she re-
piled, No more Of IL for me-"
Year: 1878

THE BEST FAMILY NEWSPAPER,
Publishes both the religions and secular news
that is desired in any family, while all that is
likely TO do harm is shut ont. It dcvotes four
pages to religious news and four to secular.


The NEw YORK OBSERVER was first published
in 1923 and it is believed to be the only in
stance Of Religious Newspaper continuing its
even course for ffiysir years, without change
Of name, doctrine. intent, purpose, or pledge
from the date Of it's birth.
Year: 1878

fine policy of some permanence'
Whether that policy will not include the
repeal of the tax on State Banks ana
allow them to pursue their business az
before the war is a question. But 1t IS
not at all improbable that the Democratic
party will resume its old position on cur
rency it held before the rebellion.
Year: 1878

No TRULY religious and conscientious
man can participate in horse racing.
From the earliest times it has been held
to be species of gambling and was al


ways attended with more or less of gam


bling ami debauchery, More than that
il is cruel to the animal, while it en-
courages only the raising of horses for
no useful purpose, and continually leads
the reckless and siddy of youth to waste
their patrimony and risk their last dollar.
Year: 1878

IHE NEARER we approach the day fol


specie resumption the stronger does it


appear that silver is necessity to meet


the wants of currency. 1t is now shown
conclusively that had silver not been de-
monetized and been coined into money
as rapidly as our wants required or the
mints have permitted, We could have re-
sumed our former hard money basis a
year ago without the fear of having to
suspend again. In any way we regard
the decentralization of silver its damaging
consequences to the people are shown. 1t
was calamitous in its effects, and had the
silver bill not been passed there is nc
telling how disastrous the consequences
would have been. We should now have
Year: 1878

IT is unwise to foster an office-seeking
class: 1t is also undemocratic. The offices
about the Water Department ought to be
given to ft men who do not hold any office
Turn about is fair play.
Year: 1878

A few days since Jacob seidel came to
this city from Nantneal, Chester county,


Pa, to buy peaches when ne had bis
watch taken from his pocket by PICK
nocket, leaving the chain behind.
Year: 1878




Sew shirt buttons early in tn
morning.


Sow bird seed this month. Th'
birds will come up by June.
Cats do best in the night in very
light soil, well dug and raked.


Sardine cans, broken bottles, ole
shoes, and tin-ware should be set ou
in the back yard.
The gin-cocktail does best under
glass. 1t needs but little water, and
its cultivation will give one an appe-
tite for breakfast.


Prima donnas are lovely flowers,
but very difficult to raise. A gen.
tleman endeavored to raise Roze last
month, but failed entirely.


If you are a landlord and in anv
doubt as to what product to raise
raise the rent. If YOU are not land
lord, try and raise the wind.


Oysters should be set out with q
top dressing of bread crumbs and
plentifully watered. The oyster with
ers if not watered, although its fra
GRANGE is increased.


Olive branches should be set out
around the breakfast table. They
need great care and attention, how
ever, to keep them from running into
the butter and molasses. Wash them
well once day With soap and water.
Year: 1878

The following advertisement has
been discovered in an old Dublin
newspaper: "If Edward Headen,
house painter, who is in the habit of
travelling to all pats Of the country
in prosecution of his business, will
communicate with his brother it will
be to his advantage, as his wife is