Year: 1877

1t is il order now to forget your sweet
heart and prepare for the Fourth of July
If you would celebrate successfully, OBJ
serve the following rules "A good thing
to do will be to join the Kalithumpians.
1t may be the society will not receive
you, for it is a very select society, and
prides itself upon.its ancient origin. II
you should be elected as member. do
not aspire to become the leader at this
late day. Select what our idea is of a
grotesque uniform for the parade, Buy
five yards of star spangled banner, and
get your brothers wifesto make it into
the most curious and grotesque piece of
coat and pants your imaginative genius
can invent. You must have mask. Get
it at once The most nideous looking
thing you can fnd is the very one you
want.


1t is now In order for you to select your.
horse.- Having made your choice. secure


him. .-Yea- have but short time to prac-
tice the feats you wish to perform, when
on that famous march. Get away by
yourself. Mount your horse, and practice
a few simple feats. such as riding back


wards, OF standing upon your feet, a la
Robinson, or standing on your head, or


in any grotesque manner your fertile
genius may suggest. Do not for the


world tell any one what you are.gOing


TO doc Be as mysterious and silent as


your discretions will permit. Do not even


tell yourswcetheart. nor your brothers


wife, nor living soul what you have done
or what you. are intending to do. DO not


be discouraged if you learn upon looking
around that every horse in town is en-
gagged. Be Impressed with the fact that


YOU must have horse, and secure it.


You may be obliged.to go far away, five


or six miles, and iariat one partiallywild.
If you are, do it. Secure tile horse, the


Uniform, and 1.-The mask. Practice your


feats of ,horsemanship until you are per-


feet in what you propose to do. In the


words of the great Patrick Henry, ''be


rigilanr,- be brave and at sunrise on the


glorious Fourth arise and with your


lariat by your side proceed TO the distant


cow pasture and lasso your steed. Return
with him. array yourself i'm your dress
a,,si prom, t.,I3- ess.sstfe
for this great occasion. You will be as
-tonislied as the class assemblies, to notice
THAT all had ideas about the same. Al


are dressed nearly alike. You will prob
kablyobe fearful that, looking SO NEARLY


atike. you may not be able to remembe


who. you are when on that march. l
you are of that mind, and it troubles you
just mark yourself in some way. Anoth
er thing, il may strikeyo that after al
. it is deal of labor for SO little fun, bu
do not give up, tor will not your sweet
heart be looking for you, and you vii


be proud to be marching along and won


der if she knows you as she leans disap


pointedly upon the. .gatepost, and softl
says to herself:
''My John1g's gone for a Kalithumpian.
: Such a brave boy is he; -l


He is gone and left his Sarah Ann,


u But some day he'll returntO me-"


II This will be glory enough, and thi
n will be the proper way for you to begi
n the festivities Of that great and gloriou
, day. 1t will not take you long to
d through with this part of the days pre-
Il gramme, bu: when it is once oyer an
il you have made your last trips to that pa
Il ture so far away with your horse, an
e there left him. you may be inclined
IS say, rs you gently amble towards home
e '.Ah, this world is vain delusive show
IL But you have the satisfaction of know
o ing that you have nobly done your dl
,s ty. 5
;o Destructive Storm.