Year: 1866

will, can make his eyes round or fat,
and see with equal clearness at any
distance


Sam SVVintOn's Speculation.


Sam Swinton was a rascal, dyed in
the wool. Everybody acknowledged
this-at least everybody that knew
him-while those who did not know
him were the very ones upon whom he
mostly operated. He was naturally
keen and shrewd, and had way Of
getting out Of all his scrapes that al
most invariably broughta smile to the
face OF his victim, no matter how badly
he had been gulled in the transaction.
Some years ago Sans funds got very
low, and he was almost at loss to find
method OF replenishing them. At
last he hit upon the following rather
ingenious plan, and we cannot do bet
ter than to give his operations in his
own language, as he afterwards told
them to us amidst shouts Of laghter


Il had carried on my operations
about home" said Sam, "until had no
one else to work on, and so | conclu-
ded that for the future | would have
to change my base, and go farther to
the west. ] thought | would go as far
as my money would carry me, and be-
fore long found myself in the village
of c, on the Wabash River [
had not been there long before | no
ticcd large unoccupied warehouse, on
the bank of the river, and Immediate
ly conceived rather hazardous, but
as it afterwards proved, profitable idea.
| found that the building could be had
for a few months, and after delay of
a few days ! found myself pleasantly
fixed up in q small office connected
with the warehouse, while immense
posters announced the fact that Sam
Swinton had rented the largest house
on the river, and was now prepared to
attend to all Commission business en-.
trusted to his care. | paid special at
tention to the corn business, and before
month had received and sold sew
eral lots Of corn, making a very good
percentage on handling it. But this
did not come up to my idea Of making
| money. At last the opportunity for
which | had long been waiting arrived.
An old fellow, about seventy miles up
the river wrote me that he had that
day shipped five large hat-boat loads
of prime corn. | Immediately made
preparations to receive it, and before
a week had it all safely stored away.
Corn was retailing at that time at 40
cents at the different stores through
out the town, and dull sale at that
Things moved slowly on for two or
three weeks, when the old man wrote
me that he needed money very badly,
and to make a forced sale of the corn
at once, putting it at 30 cents buShel
| | Immediately commenced selling, not
! at 35 but at 30 cents, The way the
other corn dealers stared and wonder
ed was caution. But | kept slash
! ing it out at 80 cents; and at last put
it at 25 The old man kept writing
for money, and l kept putting him off.
In about a month | closed out the last
bushel of corn, and the same day let
ter came from the old man, saying If
he did not receive some money by re.
turn mail he would come down and
see about the matter. seen the crisis
/ Hdu HOW CduISI anu D2G uON II HhN
made out the following statement, and
forwarded it to him:


DEAR SIR.-On the 7th of Nov. |
received from you 5000 bushels corn,
for which | have given you credit
of s125O,00.


On the above amount | claim the
following credits and deductions:


Commission 5OO,10


Storage 300,07


Cartage 1852


Wheelage l25,O3


Ratage I75,08


1225,3O


Leaving balance due you OF S24,7O
for which amount you will please
draw on me at sight.


The same boat which took my letter
to the old gentleman bore me from the
scene of my speculation to more con
genial cline.


The old. man must have got very
wrathy on the receipt Of my letter, for
q few weeks afterwards | received an
answer to my statement, the letter be-
ing forwarded to me by friend. The
: letter run thus: "You Internal villain,