Year: 1878

The funny man of the New York Times


relates the adventures of Mr.. and Mrs.
Sawyer, Methodist minister and his wife


and Master Sawyer, in West Brookield,
Vt. 'In northern Vermont he says,


"that peculiar form of social outrage
known as a surprise party, but of late


called Bulgarian atrocity, is still lament
| ably frequent. On a cold evening in the
first week of the present month, Mr.. Saw
yer and his family were seated quietly by


their social hearth enjoying one another's
| society. The clergyman was reading
| aloud the bishops pastoral letter; his
| wife was busly calculating how to cut up
| her husbands old overcoat, so as to sup
| ply him with new waistcoat, herself with
"a new overskirt, and Master Sawyer with
| new pair of trousers, while that excel
lent small boy was reading the improved
| adventures OF an eminent pirate, and
wondering whether he would ever be able
| to emulate them. Not one of the family
| was prepared TO receive visitors. Mr..
| Sawyer had on his dressing gown and
| slippers; Mrs. Sawyer had let down her


back hair to give freedom to her mental
processes, and Master Sawyer had tempo


rarily slipped of his trousers to supply his
| mother with pattern, while he wrapped
the hearth rug about him. Suddenly, and
| without the least warning, more than four
dozen people of all kinds aud sexes, in
| cluding men, women, retormers and the
illogical students, burst into the room,


carrying cake and devastation with them.
| The marauders conducted themselves at
| ter the usual custom of their kind. They
| conversed with great hilarity, ignoring
| the sufferings OF the clergyman and his
| wife. They spread their cake upon the
| table, and devouring it without plates.
| scattered the crumbs over the new car
pet. One young man, having laid large
piece oil jelly cake on the sofa, subse
| quently sat down on it, and Mrs. Sawyer


ielt that she would gladly join the Church
OF Rome on condition that medieval tor
lures OF the Inquisition should be revived
| and she herself delegated to apply them
to that particular young man. After hav-
| ing reduced the furniture to that state of
grease that it was no longer safe TO sit,
down, the mscreants gathered around the
piano and sung "What shall the Harvest


Be ?" until Mr.. Sawyer, mild as he was,
regretted he could not take a sharp scythe
and reap an immediate and bloody har-
vest. While these blood-curdling outrages
| were in progress in the parlor, the good
small boy kept himself carefully out OF the
room


He was not. however, wasting his time
| in idle rage. He, too. heard the melodious
inquiries as to the harvest, and remarked
| to himself that they would find out about


the harvest if they would only wait few


minutes Meanwhile he was busily en-
gagged in carrying pals of water and
emptying them on the front step and along
| the walk from the front-door gate. The
night was cold and the water froze rapid
ly. Under his admirable management the
ice acquired an unusually smooth and slip
perry character, and when the work was
thoroughly done the small boy retired to
the second-storv front window and wait
ed for the surprise party to break up. The


moon was at its full, and shone brightly
when the first pair of miscreants-the
young man who sat on the jelly cake and
| heavy young lady to whom he was en-
gaged-issued from the front door and sat
down with tremendous emphasis. Close
behind them came the rest of the raiders,
who with one accord strewed themselves
over the ground. until in some places they
were collected three or four deep. The
shreks OF the ladies and the stronger re-
marks OF the men filled the air. No soon
er would a struggling wretch regain his
feet than he would sit down again with


renewed violence. The affrighted clergy
man and his wife gazed with wonder at
the appalling spectacle, and the good small
boy never ceased to sing What shall the
harvest be p at the very top of his lung gs-
interspersing that stirring hymn with a
wild 'whoop whenever particularly bril-
liant pair OF stockings waved in the air.
Although only three persons sustained fa-
tai injuries, there was scarcely a member
of the party who escaped without more or
less serious wounds, either OF body or
clothing. Seventeen legs, two ribs, six
arms and nose were broken five ankles
and six wrists were sprained, and one
shoulder was dislocated. The icy pave


ment was strewed with fragments. specta-
cles, coats, trousers and skirts, and Master
Sawyer picked up enough copper and sil-
yer change the next morning to enable
him to buy twelve tickets in rattle for q


broken shotgun, and to subscribe hand


somely to the missionary. 1t is generally


believed that there will never be another


surprise party in Brookfeld, and it is un-


der contemplation among middle-aged


householders to present Master Saw


yer with q service OF marbles, and


lte-membership in the Foreign Missionary


Society, as testimony OF their esteem