Year: 1874

| CllQg Jolly TlSHt III ohO ioOe "
ones being a great porpoise, and
| YOU never saw fat man or wo'
man but what was good natured
unless disappointed in love. ]
often wish I stood in Bakers
shoes. He weighs $50, and when
seen coming down the street, he
resembles a sloop under full sail
When he enters a street car,
everybody sh0ves along at once,
and if it is crowded, two or three
men will get up at once to offer
him a seat. He is OF Importance
wherever he goes. If he sits on
an inquest, he influences the jury,
and if he predicts the weather,
people put faith in him. If there
is a crowd around a sick horse,
Baker elbows his way right
through where I conldn't get,
and they are always sure to make
him treasurer at Sunday school
excursions, send him invitations
to deliver Fourth of July Orations
and be is always selected to pre-
sent the fire company with new
hats and a speech.


And there's Mrs. Scott, who
weighs nearly as much as Baker.
When it is a hot day everybody
asks after her comfort, and when
it is a cold day everybody con-
graduates her on being fat. She
was made the president of a be-
novelent society, the treasurer of
an art association, and the 'head
man" of a monument enterprise,
just because she was fat and
''could fill the chair" better than
any lean woman. If she went
aboard the ferry boat they always
placed her in the centre of the
cabin in the best arm chair aboard,
so that she could not careen the
craft over and if forty young men
hung over the railing to starboard
or port nothing was ever said or
cared about it. She had the big
gest tent at camp meeting, the
best place to see the Fourth of
July fireworks and grocers were
always sending her early straw
berries and first vegetables.


fell in love with q fat girl once.
loved madiy because L was low
ing 204 pounds Of girl. She was
8sniaDiG, tender hearted and true,
and | think she loved me. We
were to be married IN the fall and
: should p.0b@o.y nave uoen the
happiest Of husbands when an
accident dashed my prospects.
She fell overheard just as were
about to leave the wharf on a
steamboat excursion. Three or
four sailors plunged after and
they got gang plank under her,
cable around her waist and
towed her to the wharf. Then
they rugged a derrick and lifted
her out by sections but they were
so long about it that she took cold
and the result was death. There
were months and months after
that I never could pass load of
hay without thinking of my lost
Amanda, and shedding tears,
and even. to this day, never see
an elephant or rhinOcerous with
out her dear vlsage rising up be-
fore me.-M. Quad, IN Our Fire
side Friend.


An Inducement.


We recently heard rather a good
story on one of our CITY ministers.
During a revival in progress in
one of the country churches near
the city, among the regular at
tendants on the meeting, was a
beautiful and estimable, but rath-
er unsophisticated young lady,
whose friends were very anxious
to have her united with the
church


! She seemed, however, reluctant
I to do so. and the minister in uues-
/ ton was requested to talk to her. y
This he did several times, on one
occasion saying, IN jOcular man
ner: "Miss NJ, If you will join
| the church, I'll mafTy y0u,''
, meaning he would perform the
ceremony.


The girl seemed pleased with
the proposition, and few even.
ings after walked up to the altar
| and united with the church.
Some few weeks after this the
minister preached at the church
and after the services met the
young lady.


"Brother-." said she, "yOr
know you promised to marry me
if I'd join the church. Are yor
going to do so ? don't want t(
wait any longer.


The minister saw his dilemma
and attempted to explain.


81 meant / would perform tht
ceremony" he said, THAT'S all
"I can't marry you myself, for
am already married, and love M!
wife too much to desire to sWal
her off for another"
l The young lady became indig


nant; declared she'd leave tn
Il n