Year: 1874

Any man who says that King Coffee is not
''swell' is very much mistaken. The sign of
his being stylish potentate lies in the fact.
we suppose, that he has strong regard for
the umbrella-an affection peculiar to his peo-
pie, chiefs and soldiers. 1t is not to be be-
lieved that the King is the only person who
has regard for this shield against rain and
sun, for there is an innumerable throng who
sally forth and make war, not on their enc
mics, but on their friends, umbrellas. EN-
blem OF polite kleptomania, the umbrella has
come to be regarded in civilized communities
as "fair game" for the gentleman or lady who
manifests the eccentricity in minor degrees by
the sequestration of penknives, lead pencils,
newspapers and postage stamps. There is no
remedy for the victim chez nous but in the
land Of the sunburnt Ashantee there is the
wrath of serried columns. The King,
it seems, when he deigns to appear
on the field Of battle, rides out to
meet the enemy under the shade of
his State umbrella, which is borne over his
royal head by chief wherever he moves, and
the sight Of this gorgeous banner-costing,
our correspondent AYERS, four thousand dol
lars-stirs the faithful heart of the loyal
Ashantee and whets his appetite for blood
To lose the State umbrella is to lose the glory
of the kingdom. Would that in America, in
the land of the heathen Yankee, the umbrella
could be respected as the sacred property of
the owner! How much would profanity
lose how much would the cause Of amiability
profit Democracy, too, would gain power
full ally {; for it must be acknowledged that
even the umbrella is a powerful creator of
caste. What consideration has the youth in
the eye of his lady love when he carries aught
than silk umbrella? What hope has the
swain who fourishes gingham or cotton in the
heart of the Girl of the Period? Has not the
modern poet expressed the idea Of caste when
he sings:-


The lovely Isabella,


She hit me on the smeer


With her gingham umb (e) rella,
And her father kept a barber shop in Wee-hawken I


So we are not o loss to comprehend why it
is that every one visiting Europe is solicited
by all his poor relations and country cousins
to bring back each and every one of them o
Sllh uIuOrellSs, duO lilo OuSUOm hOuSe Suhrp
will tell you how much Uncle Sam loses by
this national habit of generosity. But the
recipient does not keep his present long. He
goes to pay call on the Mayor or the Comp
troller, and, handing his umbrella to an
Assemblyman or Senator for safe keeping, he
returns only to exclaim, sSic transit gloria
nmndi'' The umbrella is gone. Gingham or
cotton replaces the badge of aristocracy and
the helpless mortal resumes his social position
among the common herd. We confess that
there is q similitude between the Ashantee
chief losing the symbol of his honor and the
swell losing the most conspicuous badge of
his respectability; SO that glance all around
reveals the fact that umbrellas are not re-
spected. At this very moment as we write Sir
Garnet Wolseley is in hot pursuit of the
Ashantee umbrellaites, who are flying in con-
fusion towards their capital, and the proba-
bility is that before many weeks shall have
passed away Coffee will mourn the loss of his
black and crimson velvet sunshade, while the
impious Britisher will discuss it's construction
and decoration as the most important topic in
the salons Of London society.