Year: 1874

BILL AND THE WIDOW.


"Wife," said Ed Wilbur one morning as he
sat stirring his coffee with one hand, and hold
ing plum cake on his knee with the other,
and looking across the table into the bright
ewes of his neat little wife ;"wouldn'tit be q
good joke to get bachelor Bill Smiley to take
Widow Watson to Barnum's show next
week ?"


"You can't do it, Ed he wont ask her; he
is so awful shy Why, he came here the
other morning, when I was hanging out some
clothes, and he looked over the fence and
spoke; but when / shook out a night-gown
he bushed like girl and went away"


Il think can manage it" said Ed; "but
I'll have to lie just little. But then it
wouldn't be much harm under the circumstan-
ces, for know she likes him, and know he
don't dislike her; but as you say, hesso shy.
I'll lust 90 over to his place to borrow some
bags of him, and if 1 don't bag him before l
come back, don't kiss me for week, Nelly"


So saying, Ed started, and while he is now
ing the fields, we will take look at Bill Smi-
ley. He was rather good looking fellow,
though he showed some gray hairs and whis-
kers, and he had got set of artificial teeth
But every one said he was good soul, and so
he was. He had as good hundred acre
farm as any in Norwich, with new house
and everything comfortable, and if he had
wanted wife, many girl would have jumped
at the chance like rooster at grasshopper.
But Bill was so bashful-always was-and
when Susan Berrybottle, that he was sweet
on (though he never said "boo" to herr got
married to old Watson, he just drawed in his
head likes mud-turtle into his shell, and there
was no getting him out again, though it had
been noticed that since Susan had become
widow he had paid more attention to his
clothes, and had been very regular in bis at
tendance at the church where the fair widow
attended.


"But here comes Ed. Wilbur"


"Good morning, Mr.. Smiley"


"Good morning, Mr. Wilbur. Whats the
news your way r


"Oh nothing particular that know OF"
said Ed, "only Barnum's show that every
body is talking about, and everybody and his
girl is going to. / was over to Sackrider's s
last night, and I see his son, Gus, has got
new buggy and was scrubbing up his harness,
and he's got that white faced colt of his as
sleek as SEAL / understand he thinks Of
taking Widow Watson to the show. He's
been hanging round there good deal of late,
but I'd lust like to cut him out, would.
Susan is nice little woman, and deserves a
better man than that young pup of fellow,
though I wouldn't blame her much either, if
she takes him, for she must be dreadful lone
some, and then she has to let her farm out on
shares, and it isn't half worked, and no one
else seems to have spunk enough to speak up
to her. By jingo! If l was single man
I'd show him trick or two"


So saying, Ed. borrowed some bags and
started around the corner Of the barn, where
he had left Bill sweeping, and put his ear to
a knot-hole aud listened, knowing that the
bachelor had habit of talking to himself
when anything worried him.


"Confound that young Bagrider!' said
Bill; "what:: business has he there, I'd like to
know. Got new buggy, has he? Well, so
have l, and new harness, too! and his horse
can't come in sight Of mine, and / declare
I've halfa mind to-yes, will! I'll 60 this
very night and ask her to 60 to the show with
me. III show Ed. Wilbur that I amt such
a calf as he thinks I am, if did let old Wat
son get the start of me in the first place"


Ed could scarcely help laughing outright,
but he hastily hitched the bags on his should
er, and with low chuckle at his success, star
ted home to tell the news to Nelly; and about
FIVE o'clock that evening they saw Bill 60 by
with his horse and buggy on his way to the
widows. Hejogged along quietly, thinking
of the old singing-school days-and what
pretty girl Susan was then-and wondering
L.
to talk up to her, until at the distance of about
a mile from her house he came to bridge
over large creek-and it so happened that
lust as he reached the middle of the bridge
he gave tremendous sneeze, and blew his
teeth clear out of his mouth, and clear over
the dashboard, and striking on the planks
they rolled over the bridge and dropped into
four feet of water.


Words cannot do justice to poor Bill, or
paint the expression Of his face as he sat there,
completely dumfounded at this startling piece
of i'll luck. After while he stepped out of
the buggy, and getting on his hands and
knees looked over the water.


"Yes, there they were" at the bottom, with
crowd of little fishes rubbing their noses
against them, and Bill wished to goodness
that his nose was as close for one second His
beautiful teeth that had cost him SO much,
and the show coming on and no time to get
another set-and the widow and young Sack.
rider. Well, he must try and get them some
how-and no time to lose, for some one might
come along and ask him what he was fooling
around there for. He had no notion ofspoil-
ing his good clothes by wading in with them
on, and besides, if he did that he could not 60
to the widows that night, so he took look
up and down the road to see that no one was
in sight, and then quickly undressed himself,
laying his clothes in the buggy to keep them
clean. Then he ran around the bank and
waded into the almost icy water, but his teeth
did not chatter in his head he only wished
they could. Quietly he waded along so as
not to stir up the mud ,and when he got to the
right spot he dropped under the water and
came up with the teeth in his hand and re-
placed them in his mouth But hark! What
noise is that? A wagon! and little dog
barking with all his might, and his horse is
starting. whoa! Whoa |" said Bill, as he
splashed and foundered out through mud and
water, "confound the horse. Whoa! Whoa