smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1874

The following letter was recently
addressed by Mark Twain to the Lon
don Morning Post, and that paper pub
fishes it as q '.curious specimen of
Transatlantic puhery:"


SIN: Now that my lecturing engage
ment is drawing to it, close, I find that
there is one attraction which forgot
to provide, and that is tho attendance
of some great member of the Govern
ment. Strictly speaking, I did not re-
ally forget this or underrate its i'm
portance, but the truth was I WAS afraid
of it. was afraid of it for the reason
that those great personages have 80
many calls upon their time that they
cannot we'll spare the time to sit out an
entertainment, and ] knew that If one
of them we're to leave his boz and re
tire while I was lecturing it would seri-
ously embarrass me. find, however,
that many people think ought not to
allow this lack to exist longer; there
fore feel compelled to reveal thing
which had intended to keep secret.
I early applied to = party at the East
End, Who 10 in: :tho Same: line Of busi-
ness as Madame Tussaud, and he
agreed to lend mo 4 couple of
kings and some nobility, and he said
that they would sit out my lecture, and
not only sit it out, but that they
wouldn't even leave tho place when Il
was done, but would Just stay where
they were, perfectly infatuated, and
wait for more. SO I made . bargain
with him at once, and was going to ask
the newspapers to mention, in the
usual column. that on such and such
IN evening His Majesty King Henry
VIII: would honor my entertainment
with his presence, and that on sach
and such an evening His Majesty VIII
liam the Conquerof would be present.
and that on the succeeding evening
Moses and Aaron would be there, and
60 on. I felt encouraged now; an At
tendance like that would make my en-
tertainment all that could be desired :;
and besides, I would not be embar-
rassed by their going away before my
lecture was over. But now misfortune
came. In attempting to move Henry
Will to my lecture hall the porter fell
down stairs and utterly smashed him
all to pieces; in the course
of moving william the Conqueror,
something let go and all the sswdust
burst out of him, and lie collapsed and
withered away to nothing before my
eyes. Then We collared some dukes,
but they we're SO seedy and decayed
that nobody would ever have believed
in their rank and 20 1 gave them up,
with almost . broken heart. In my
trouble I had nothing in the world left
to depend on now but just Moses and
Aaron, and I confess to you that it WAS
all I could do to keep the tears back
when came to examine those two i'm.
ages and found that that man, in his
unapproachable ignorance, had been
exhibiting in Whltechapel for Noses
and Aaron what any educated person
could see at . glance, by the igature,
were only the Siamese Twins


You see now, sir, that I have done
all that q man could do to supply .
complained-of lack, and if I have failed
I think 1 ought to be pitied, not
blamed. I wish I could get . king
somewhere, just only for little while,
aud I would take good care of him, and
send him home, and pay the cab N.Y.
self. MARX TWAIN.


London, December TO- 80
Year: 1874

The appointment of Hon. Caleb
Cushing to be the successor of Gen.
Sickles as Minister to Spain continues
to excite comment concerning the
character of the instructions he will
receive from the Department of State
after the confirmation of the nomina-
ton by the Senate. Although usage
Is opposed to an open declaration of the
line of diplomacy to be pursued, it is
stated with truth that one of the subjects
to which Mr.. Cushing will give his at.
tention will be policy of political
and administrative reforms in Cuba as
the best means calculated to restore
peace to that island and promote its
prosperity and among these reforms
is included the abolition of slavery in
the Antilles. These views have been
repeatedly enforced, both IN the Presi-
dents annual messages and the official
correspondence of Secretary Fish,
and have been often communicated
to the Spanish Cabinet. It will be re-
collected that several years ago our gov
ernment rendered it's good Offices to
Spain in hopes of Cuba paci6cation,
but they were respectfully declined on
the basis suggested. It is not improb-
able that similar tender will be again
made by the new Minister, as the Ad-
ministration will resort to every proper
expedient for the purpose of restoring
peace and protecting American inter.
ests in Cnba and adjacent waters and
there can be do doubt that an effort
will be made to conclude q new com.
mercial treaty with Spain of friend
ship, limits and navigation.


PRoFEssoR ROOD has been making
some experiments on the duration of q
flash of lightning, and on the length Of
time necessary for distinct vision. He
found that the duration of fash OF
lightning ranged from intervals OF
time shorter than one-thousandth of a
second up to others at least as great
as one-twentieth of second. BY
means of mirror revolving at the rate
of $50 revolutions a minute, he found
that the first act of the electrical dis
charge of Leyden jar was in certain
cases only forty billiouths of q second,
an interval of time just sufficient to
enable ray of light to travel forty
feet. Through a micrometer reduc.
ton he found that four billionths oi
= second was sufficient for human
vision.
Year: 1874

The KenOsha wis Union is re-
sponsible for this: "On Wednesday
afternoon of April s, a short time aft,
er the gale came down from the
north that capsized the two ill-fated
fish boats, a sister of one Of the un-
married men on, board while busy at
her work, became all at once deeply i'm
pressed with the idea that something
terrible had happened to her brother.
So excited and agitated did she be
come that she went to her mistress to
beg she might 90 home. She knew
nothing of her brother being on the
lake that day, but had been informed
that be was to go upon q vessel the
next week. She ran home to her pa
rents, met her father at the door, and
exclaimed to him. oh, how glad |
am that Chris is not on the lake =


But be is on the lake. said the ia
ther, he took another mans place to-
day. oh then he is d rownedP
The father started for the lake, and
got there in time TO hear the first
news of the capsizing of the boat his
son was on, and that men were still
seen clinging to one of the boats
Year: 1874

Look. As those trembling accents
fall from the old mans tongue, those
fingers unloose their hold of the rife
already the troopers are sure of
one victim, a young and beautiful
girl for affection for her father is
mastering the heroism of the moment
look! She is about to spring into
his arms! But now she sees her
danger! Again she clutches the rifle;
again, although her fathers dying
accents are in her cars, stands there
prepared to scatter that house into
ruins, if single rough hand assails
that vetran form.


There are few moments of terri
BILE suspense, then a hurried sound
far down the mansion, then a contest
on the stairs, then the sound of rife
shot and the light of rifle blaze.
Then the rutiians in the doorway
fall; crushed before the strong arm
of the Continental soldiers. Then a
wild shrek quivers through the room,
and that young girl-that hero wo-
man-with one bound springs for
ward into her brothers arms, and
nestles there while her dead father
his form yet warm-lays with fixed
eyeballs, upon the floor
Year: 1874

The Western Methodist SAYS that
Chaplain Sunderland, of Washing
ton City, is o sort of heavenly wire
puller. He excels that North Pole
prayer builder, his predecessor,
Chaplain Newman 1t seems that,
somewhere in the funeral services of
Senator Sumner, Chaplain Sunder-
land ventured to ask blessings upon
the officers of the government, and
then, ON the way toward Boston to
the burial, it occurred to the distin-
guished petitioner to the Throne of
Grace that he had forgotten the Wee
President. No doubt the Lord
would have overlooked any little
omission like that, but Sunderland's
prayer was directed to the newspa-
pers as we'll as to heaven indeed, pos
sibly rather more toward the press
than the Throne. And ruminating
upon the look of the thing in print,
rather than expecting an answer from
the skies, Chapland Sunderland tel
egraphed horizontally to Washington
City to the printers to type in the
Vice President. Whether he sent
the same supplementary petition
vertically in such a way as to over
take the New Jerusalem message is
not known.
Year: 1874

The NEW Posi- OFFICE SITE.-1hings are
in disorder at the foot Of Loockerman street,
Dover The man who had she job Of moving
q large three story frame building, late the
residence of Mr.. Clarke, after putting it across
the sidewalk and half way into the stest, either
got mad over the job, or concluded hs could
not do it, and thea blocked ii up to await the
effort of some mora patient or more skillful en-
ginser. As it stands it is source Of incon-
venience and annoyance to all who have to
pass the place. IL is also in front of another
building belonging TO another party, which
cannot be moved till the big house is out OF the
way. The nuisance is one requiring the at
tention OF the town authorities. The talk, 10
Washington, about cutting down appropria-
tions leads many to suppose that the govern
ment will not commence the building this
year. We do not suppose there is any reason
for such infsrencs, for the appropriation was
made by the last Congress, and il is probable
that the work will be commenced as soon as
the officers entrusted with the business can NJ


tend tolit7Deta,oqreaR. sesal useta
Year: 1874

After long absence we again wei
come to our table the Waco DAILY
ExAauNER, real sprightly, newsy,
and well-conducted paper.-Ndca-
sofa Tablet.


This Is only one, but one of the
most priced, Of the many warm COM
mcndations we are daily receiving al
the hands Of the press of Texas.
Proving :most conclusively that an
earnest, honest and fearless advocacy
of the cause Of the people Will meet
its reward. The gentleman at the
head of the Tablet is one of the best
and ablest newspaper men in the
State, and We value the compliment
accordingly.
Year: 1874

The State Gazette of the 9th has a
warm and ably written article ON
Governor Coke's policy, with regard
to the State finances, and his endorse.
ment by the Legislature of the State
We publish in another column an ar
ticle from the Galveston News on the
same subject.
Year: 1874

Washington is draped in mourn
ing tor President Fillmore, by or
der Of President Grant. The sorrow
occssionei by the death OF this DIS
tinguished person, is very general,
and it is fitting that public express
sion be given to it.
Year: 1874




The Troy Times relates the fol-
lowing, which may strike the reader
as the effects Of the immagination Of
the boy-or the writer:


"a lad named Cummings fell from
a car at Whitehall, and the train pas
sed over. his arm, seYering it. The
lad, with great presence Of mind, lay
still until the train bad passed, and
thus escaped further injury. When
the lad was taken home his arm was
brought after him II was thrown
into pail when the poor little fellow
screamed with pain. The severed
limb was then placed in a box and
buried in the garden. Shortly after
he said that something was craving
on the inside Of the hand The limb
was exhGmed, when a large worm
was discovered in the palm Of his
hand. A large jar was then obtain
ed, and it became necessary 70 crowd
the arm 10, when the sufferer fairly
went into parUxysms Of pain The
limb was then placed in 4 jar partly
Sled with alcohol, and then replaced
in the ground The little fellow com
planned that bis arm and fingers were
in a terribly eramped position, and
that the little finger and the next one
were growing together. The jar vas
then taken up, when the limb Vas
found crowded and eramped as de-
serlbed The boy knew nothing OF
the disposition Of his arm
Year: 1874

Girls do not always know their
power Ii l. far greater than they
think; and were they tue and brave
enough 10 exertit, they might almost,
in a generation. revolutiouize society
about them Exert your power for
good upon the young men who are
privileged 70 enjoy your society.
Gentle and good, be also brave and
true. Try to exhibit the ideal Of a
woman-a pure and good woman
whose life Is mighty as well as beau
tifuI in It's maiden dignity and attrac-
tive loveliness. Do not let it even
seem that dress and frivolitv consti-
tuIe your only thoughts, but let the
elevation of your character and the
usefulness of your life lift up the man
that walks by your side. Some Of
you are il intimate associations,
which under exchanged promises,
look forward TO a nearer aRd more
enduring relation 10 these hours
do noting to lower. but everything
to refine and enoble each others
character.
Year: 1874

ic visions, and thus they are enabled
TO lock down and discover their uu-
suspecsing victims As they ap-
proach noiselessly from above. the
axes Of vision ehanges-sbortening,
so that they can see as distinctly
within one foot Of the ground as when
at an elevation Of one mile in the
air.


This fact explains the balancing Of
a ish-hawk on its pinniOns, haif a
Tile above a still pond, watching for
fish. When one * selected, down
the savage hunter pIunges, the focal
axis varying always to the square
view Of his intended prey As they
ascend, the axis Is elongated by a
curious muscular arrangement so as
to see far of again


Suails have their keeE eyes at the
extremity Of flexible horns, which
they can protrude or draw IN at pleas
ure. By winding the instrument
around leaf or stalk, they can see
how matters stand on the opposite
side.


The hammer headed shark has its
wicked looking eyes nearly two feet
apart. By an effort they can bend
the thin edges Of the head on which
the organs are located. so as to ex-
anime the two sides of an object, the
size Of full sized cod fish


Flies have immOvable eyes. They
stand out from the head Ike half an
apple, exceedingly prominent IN
stead Of smooth hemispheres, they
have an immense number Of facets.
resembling old fashioned glass watch
seals, each one directing the light
directly TO the optic retina. That ex-
plains why they cannot be approach
ed in any direction without seeing
what is coming.
Year: 1874

hand, and why his coat was buttoned
up 50 tightly on such a warm even
ing. and what made bis face and hat
- dirty, until as they were going
down little bill one Of the traces
came unhitehed aud they had 70 stop


20 murder,1 said Bill what
next -


What is the matter, Mr. Smiley -
said the widow, with a start that
came near jerking the robe of bis
knee.


One Of the traces is of, said
be


"well why doa't yen get out and
put it on


Il can't, said Bill i've GOT
that Is. l haven't got-oh, dear I'm
so sick. What shall | d02"


Why, Willie, said she tenderly,
what is the matter. do tell me ? :"
she gave his hand q little squeeze.
aud looking into his pale and troubled
face, she thought be was going TO
faint; SO she got out her smeIling-bot.
tie with her left hand, and pulling
the stopper out with her teeth she
stuck it 70 his nose.


Bill was just taking in breath for
a mighty sigh, and the pungent oder
made him throw back bis head so far
that be lost his balance and went
over the low backed buggy The
little woman gave S little scream as
bis big bare feet few by her head
and covering her face with her hands
gave way to tears or smiles-it was
hard tell which. Bill was fright
side up In a minute, and was lean
ing over the back of the seat humbly
apologizing and explaining, when Ed.
Wilbur aud his wife and baby drove
up behind and stopped. Poor Bill
felt that be would rather have been
shot than have Ed. Wilbur catch him
in such scrape, but there was 60
help for 1t now, so be called Ed to
him aud whispered in his ear. Ed
was Ike to burst with suppressed
laughter, but he beckoned to bis wife
TO drive up, and after saying some
thing 10 her, be helped the widow
cut Of B1l's buggy into his, and the
two women went on leaving the men
behind. Bill lost 10 time in arrang-
ing his toilet as well as be could, and
then with great persuasion Ed got
him to 20 home with him, and hun
ting up slippers and socks and get
ting him washed and c5mbed, had
him quite -presentable when the
ladies' arrived. I need net tell how
the story was ali wormed Out Of bash
ful Bill. and how they all laughed as
they sat around the. tae-tahle that
night, but viii conclude by SAYING
that they went TO the show together,
and Bill has no fear Of Gus Sackrider
now.


This Is the story about Bill aud the
Widow as I had it from Ed Wilbur,
and if there is anything unsatisfacto-
" about in, ask him
Year: 1874

The proposed extension Of the time for the
occupancy OF the lake front by the Exposition
Building is now pending before the Common
Council, having been introduced on Monday
evening, in the report Of the Committee on
Wharfes and Public Grounds. The report con-
tains some excellent provisions, especially that
which restricts the use Of the building to I" an
annual exposition for Industrial. mechanical
and other arts to musical and other public
entertainment; and to public meetings, con-
yentions, and other similar purposes" This is
all very proper, rs far Us it goes, but it does not
retail or wholesale business purposes should be
strictly forbidden II not, such q business will
sooner OF later creep into the building, under
the loose manner in which this provision Is
framed.


tkThe proposition OF the Mayor, that the Expo
sition Company shall pay rental for the use Of
the ground, is also good one, but the rental
should be in some degree proportioned to the
annual receipts Of tho Company. The Company
expects to make dividends upon its investment.
There is no good reason why this Company
should have the use OF city property free any
more than any other; II it does, then every
other joint-stock company certainly has the
right to expect that it can occupy city property
free Of rental The consideration that these
annual exhibitions are matters Of public interest
ia Offset by the fact that they are expected to
contribute directly to the pockets Of the stock
holders, and TINT although hotels, restaurants,
public conveyances, and other forms Of business
may bo profted thereby, the City Government is
not benefited cent.


With regard to tho amendment suggested BY
Aid. llcGrath, making it imperative that the
building, whenever in use for any Of the above
purposes, shall be kept open on Sundays, there
will undoubtedly be wido difference Of opinion,
although such action would be in accordance
with the lessons Of the late city election, and, IS
long Us the majority rule, NC have no doubt the
majority will have their own way shout this
question.


Whatever else may be done, however, tho pro-
vision sotting forth the uses Of the building
should be amended By inserting \ stringent
clause expressly shutting OF any attempt to
establish buying and selling in tho building, or
any form of traffic which wilt intsrfo1e With the
legitimate business OF the city.
Year: 1874

The Grand Jury met yesterday, with Mr.
Henry Greenetaum as foreman. The first mat
ter considered was the case OF ex-Treasu1er
Gage. 4 number Of witnesses were examined
among them ex- Comptroller Taylor ard ex-Ad.
Sherwood The facts elected were those with
which the public is already familiar concerning
the amount and manner of the defalcation, and
the practice of paying interest on deposits. The
Grand Jury adjourned till to-day, to continue
the examination Of witnesses aud to obtain the
opinion Of Judge Rogers AZ to the applicability
Of the law under which City-Attorney Reed is
moving for an indictment. As far as could be
ascertained, the sentiment Of the jurors is in
favor Of indictment; but they do not seem to
believe chat conviction is likely to follow.
Year: 1874

Rather than conBure President Grant for his
indispensable part in the back-pay steal, the Be
publicans in the Ohio House Of Representatives
have refused to express any disapproval Of that
act The resolution ceasuring Congress for
passing the Law WAS reported back Yesterday. as
ordered by the House, amended SO as to include
President Grant in the condemnation, and was
passed by strict Democratic 7ote,-an the Be
pubhcans voting against it.
Year: 1874

Notwithstanding the rain during the forenoon
and the threatening aspect OF the afternoon yes.
terday hundreds OF the lovers OF miniature yacht.
ing congregatcd, as usual, around the well house
at the upper lake and on the island In front. The
fashionable turnouts were not SO numerous as on
the previous saturdays


Nearly all the boats OF the Prospect Park and
Long Island clubs were out, aud the lake was
literally dotted over with the miniature white
sails, giving TO it q beautiful appearance. When
the rain had ceased at noon a good south.
westerly breeze set in, and the racing
throughout was very fine. There were seven
close contests, the sailing being in every
case from the dam to the head OF the lake. For
the first race the Peerless Mr.. snerwin; Marion,
Mr.. Jacob Johnson, and Mr. 0. s. Dayton's Eclipse
started. They sailed on the windward tack, under
fifteen seconds headway. The Eclipse led at the
star :, and held her distance to the middle OF the
lake, with the Peerless IN her wake. During the
Year: 1874

Mr.. BEEcHER is preparing a state
mems in response to MoULToN's last
document and he is so far along with
it that we may begin to look for the
privileged extracts - the authors
proofs-in short time. This will of
course draw another shot from MoUL-
TON and perhaps a broadside from
TILToN's battery. 1t appears to us
that as far as any good is likely to
come from it this statement business
might as we'll be brought to close.
In the way of light literature, these
Statements" were all very well for a
time but like the interminable stories
of SYLvANUs COBB Jr., they have be-
come dull, stale and Improbable. Not
to put too fine point upon it, they
have assumed the nature of bore,
and the people are weary of them.
They prove nothing but the logical
powers of their arthors and they con-
vince no one of the guilt or innocense
of the parties accused. The BEECHER-
TILToN scandal has reached point
where nothing can be proven-no
charge sustained or rrefuted-outside of
court of justice. No unsworn state
ment of the parties concerned will be
credited. 1t is even doubtful that af-
fidavits will be accepted as fact where
they do not prove what the reader
wishes to believe.
Year: 1874

EDITOR HERALD: You and your
contemporaries are in ecstacies over
the recent visit Of capitalists and what
they say about our future; also the
indications of their willingness to aid
the enterprises now inaugurated which
are calculated to develop our country.
This is all very well, and we rejoice
with you in this; but to secure the as
sistance of our friends in these import
ant enterprises it is necessary that our
own citizens should become more act
i've in this important work. We have
strong men and capitalists among us,
who ought to come to the front with
subscriptions proportionate to their
means. This done, there are hundreds
of men of smaller means who will fol-
low their example. One united effort
upon the part of the willing minds of
our county will secure to US all we now
hope for.


This is our grand opportunity,
which, if accepted in the proper spirit,
will lead to great prosperity; but if we
let it slip, the tide will ebb and we will
be left to repeat the melancholy phrase,
1T might have been"


We have made these remarks be-
cause we are satisfied that the prom
ises of the capitalists, about which so
much has been said, were made with
a proviso.


OLD RESIDENT.


Los Angeles Sent IL 1874