Year: 1879

A Wife's Confession.


did not marry for love. Very few people
do, so in this respect am neither better nor
worse than my neighbors. No, certainly
did not marry for love believe | married
Mr.. Cartwright simply because he asked me.


This was how it happened. He was the
rector of Doveton, and we lived at the Manor
House, which was about ten minutes walk
from the church and rectory. We had daily
service at Doveton, and ! nearly always at
tended it, and it came to pass that Mr.. Cart
wright invariably walked home with me. 1t
was matter Of custom now, and thought
nothing of it; it pleased him, and on the
whole It was rather pleasant to me also.


| must confess however, was rather sur
prised when, one morning as we got to the
avenue which led up to the Manor House,
Mr.. Cartwright asked me to be his wife.


/ have never been able to fnd out why
said yes, but l did perhaps | thought it
pity TO throw away so much love; perhaps
It was because he was so terribly in earnest
that | dared not refuse him /; perhaps
feared his pale face, and his low, pleading
voice would ever haunt me if rejected his
love- or, perhaps, it was because he only
asked me TO marry him-he did not ask me
if loved him, for | think he guessed did
not perhaps it was all these reasons put to-
gether, but anyhow said yes, and in due
time we were married


/ ought to have been very happy, for he
was most devoted husband, but was not,
and though did not notice it then, know
now that for the first six months after our
marriage he was not happy either.


1t was all my fault either would not or
could not love him; I accepted all his devo'
ton to me as matter of course, but made
no effort to return it; and | am sure he had
found out that he had made mistake in
marrying woman who did not love him.
One morning, about six months after our
marriage, he told me at breakfast that he
intended leaving me alone for few weeks,
to stay with his mother who was not very
well. He watched the effect of this an
nouuoement on me, but though was really
displeased, l concealed my annoyance, and
| asked carelessly when he would start.
He replied, the next day If | had no OBJ
lection and so it was settled.


He was more affectionate than usual that
day, and was colder than ever; | only once
alluded to his journey, and that was to ask
if | might have my sister Maud to stay while
he was gone.


The next morning was anxious to avoid
formal parting, so | drove to the station
with him. AS the train moved off, remem
bered this was our first parting since oul
marriage, and wished l had not been Sc
| cold.


When got home the house looked Sc
dreary and empty and there was no one tt
meet me; presently one OF the servants
came for the shawls, and with her Nero, Mr.
Cartwright's retriever, which, when he saw
| was alone, set up howl for his master.
patted him and tried to comfort him, feel
ing rebuked by his grief, as he followed me
whining into the house. Every room seemed
empty, and each spoke OF the absent master
At last wandered into his study, where hi
spent his mornings and liked me to sit ant
work and now | remembered how often


had excused myself, saying ! preferred m.
drawing-room; and this reflection did no
add to my happiness.


There was a photograph of me standing
on his writing-table, and another on th'
chimney-piece; on the walls hung two o
three Of my drawings, which he had begge'
of me when we were engaged indeed, tn


room was full of little remembrances of me


opened book had given him, and in i


was his name ia my handwriting, and under


meath in his own, From my darling wife.


laid it down with a sigh, as thought HOY


carefully he treasured everything had eve


given him, and how little care took of al


his gifts to me-


Everything l attempted, everything


looked at, reminded me of his goodness t


me and of my coldness and ingratitude


him. At last | went to bed, where, afte


working myself into fever of anxiety les


he should not have reached the end of hi


journey in safety, at length cried mysel


to sleep


The next morning went down to breal


fast with heavy heart, for | knew coul
not hear from him till the next day


seemed so strange TO breakfast alone, an


Nero appeared to think so, too, for he wa
unhappy, shifting around his masters chai
in the most melancholy manner.


NY plate, for the first time since my ma
| riage, was empty as l sat down TO breal
. fast, for my husband, who was an earl
riser, always had little bouquet to gree
me with every morning frequently forge
, all about it, and left it TO be put into watt


by the servants this morning | would hay


treasured it most carefully If he had gatl


cred it.


After breakfast / determined to rous
| myself and go and visit some Of the poe
! in the village, so | filled my basket wit
, some little delicacies for the sick and set ou
, Wherever | went it was the same story
all held forth on my husbands goodness an
kindness, for all had been helped by him
{ some way or other, and all loved and r
Z spected him. As listened with burnin
, cheeks felt as if ! was the only person @
| earth who had treated him with cruel il
!. gratitude, and was the very person whol
T he most loved and cherished.


: At last | went home, tired and sick
= heart, but there was no one to notice WI
I pale and worn-out, no one 10 get me wine
= soup to revive me, no one TO make me |
9 down and rest, as he would have done ha
r he been there. Oh, how | missed hin
0 What fool had been Was there ever
Q woman loved and cared for as l had been


Was there ever a friend so ungrateful Oh


why had ever let him leave me- WI
/. sure he never would come back. Why ha
a he gone away


i Aud conscience answered, You dro'
|. him he gave you all he had to give, and
1 return you gave him nothing but cold lool
/ and unkind words; so he left you to SEE
r love and sympathy from his mother"
. This thought almost maddened me.
: fancy | saw her sitting in my place by h
n side, loving and caressing him, as had Il
best right TO love and caress him. | pi
, tured her receiving tenderly the little lovir
acts had received so coldly, and now WI
7 seized with a jealous anger against her.
9 mentally accused her of estranging my hu


band from me, and Of trying to win his 10y