Year: 1874

over hats. If she hasn't got soft felt,


with rakish crown and a thievish-loOk-


ing brim, she is crazy to get one; and il


she has got one, she Is mad because she


didn't get the other pattern. Not that


the present style, if it is a style, is unbe-


coming, or foolish, or idiotic, or anything


OF that kind. On the contrary, we have


no doubt it is immensely pretty, and


economical, and sensible. But then it is


so unsatisfactory The charmed and


delighted woman who has just got her


new hat, puts it on at the glass, observes


the effect in front, surveys both sides, and
endangers her neck by trying to get a


peep Mt the rear. She smiles cOmplacent-


ly, takes one more glance sideways as
she leaves the room and sallies out. She


wears an air of triumph, as much as to
say: Bring out your hats! Here's one
that rather takes the shine off of any
thing on the streetW Leave that tri-
umphant female now, and meet her an
hour afterward down town. You will
see tolerably unhappy woman. Her
hat is no longer an object of pride. The
rim is mockery, and the feather droops
in humiliation. Another, and to her
eyes a tastier, hat has been seen, and
that very night milliner rips the tucks
out of the discounted piece of head-gear,
and turns it up, and Fuckers it in another
direction. Yesterday it looked like an
ancient war vessel, with the PROV turn
ing grandly over and coming down on
deck. To-day it resembles modern
ferry-bOat, with the passengers and vehi-
cles all on one end, and the bow tipped
up to effect landing. That the latter
style should please the lady better than
the former is mysterious; but it does,
and she is well satisfied until she sees
another turned up on the side, as if the
owner feared her chignon would tumble
off in that direction unless this barrier
was interposed, and then forthwith the
milliner has another job. No woman
wears hat twice of the same style. De-
lHded husbands may think they do, and
be pleased when they arc assured that
hats are cheap this fall; but when they
come to look at the bills of the milliners
they will be sadder and wiser men. And
yet the ladies tell the truth. Hats are
cheap. In fact, hats, as hats, cost mere
bagatelle. As they have no trimming to
amount to anything, the unhappy hus-
band is puzzled as well as aggrieved
when the bill comes in. Whence does all
this expense arise? All, innocent Bene
dict. 1t is not the hat, nor the feather,
nor yet the bugles, nor the other innu-
merable fumadiddles. 1t is the extra
work. 1t is the daily labor of turning
the rim of that Notwithstanding hat
up ON one side and down on the other;
of smashing in the crown on Monday
and putting it out on Tuesday; of gather
ing up the brim Wednesday till it looks
like a smoking-cap, and lettingit out on
Thursday till it looks like an umbrella.
And, without attempting to apologize
for this fickleness, or In any manner de-
fend it, what a change this molding,
punching and fattening does make
Upon the shape of that hat depends the
impression which the wearer creates on
the beholder. You meet remarkably
modest and timid-appearing young lady
to-day, and you notice that her hat has
meek and shrinking indentation in the
crown. 1t looks as if it wanted to shun
the wicked world and hang up in a
nunnery. Tomorrow you meet the same
lady, and what a change! She appears
as daring as Joan of Arc and as indepen-
dent as the president of a woman's con-
gress. And her whole appearance is thus
altered by pinning up the front of that
hat. Next day she appears like a brigand.
The brim is fattened out, and her eyes
CLEAN furiously from underneath, as if
watching an opportunity to order you to
stand and deliver. You see her again
and the rim is turned up behind, while
it is very fiat in front, giving her an ap-
pearance of female Solon Shingle try
ing to find customer for that "bar'l of
apple sass" Again, and it is pitched on
the extreme back of the head, reminding
you of Toodles in his cups, when he is
assuring the "sailor man" that when
his father heard of the sailor mans death
"he went broken hearted to his grave,
and died there"


With all these advantages it is no won
der that the reigning hat is popular. 1t
is comfortable to the head-so they say
and it is an ornament or disguise as re-
quired. 1t is demure, jaunty, meek,
saucy, bold, sly, obstinate, conciliating,
tender - whatever you please every
thing by turns and nothing long. 1t is
the hat of the period, cunning and de-
ceitful, but above all things desperately
wicked.-Chicdgo Inter Ocean.