smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1867

We never think Of sleigh ride with
out touch Of sadness Twas a sleigh
ride that first ruined us, and when we
/ think Of it, we'll we just "bel er." Shall
we tell the story, AS solemn warning
to our youthful readers Many, many
years ago, We attended school, You
wouldn't think it Of US, would you?
Well we did, and the teachers used to
say that We were aiwaes the first boy in
school-to 90 out at recess. One of the
lady teachers used to thiuk sn much Of rs
that she he t us standing in the middle
Of he floor about alf the time, a. an ex-
ample to the other boys! Well, in the
course of human events, sleighride was
g"t up, and al the boys that could raise
money, aud check enough to ask girl.
had to go. We borrowed the old gentle
mans S watch, pawBed it for fifty cents,
aud went for girl. We engaged the
feminine offspring Of Methodist minis
ter, retired on half pay. and were ready
Asssthe four painting steeds were reigned
up to Mary's door: and we stood there
with cur fathers oversh es on, and help-
ed her 10 and tucked her up, we felt
buzzIng in the vicinity Of eur y atch pocket
our watch pocket was in our vest then
and we wou!dn t have sold our interest in
that girl for less than dollar. We saiI
her name was Mar She was the origin
al Of that beautiful ballad, $, aft ctingly
sung by Chamberlain, Of the Milwaukee
Sentinel, entitled Mary had little lamb
We were the lamb. The destination Of the
party was town about nine miles dis
tant, and the fourteen couples made that
sleigh shake, you bet. With one arm
around our partner to keep her from tax
ing cold, We studied astronomy, pointed
out the big dipper, and made zone shack
ass Of ourself generally GA arriving at
our destination, We big boys went aud or
dered peppermint sling. Fatal order,
That sling beat US, because the landlord
forgot to put in the peppermint Mary
had been sweet on US, and we had been
ditto, all the way, bat when we went into
the parlor and begun to whisper to her
how we liked her, and how we would
stick by her till h froze over, she smelt
our breath, and-tableaux. You see
Mary was Son of Temperance, and knew
We were a bad boy. We went into the
bar-room, AM the boys said we made that
landlord sick. We gave him some a3-
vice about mixing his poison, And Mary


Well she went right straight back on US
from the outset, and firted with another
feller, willie We went out to the barn and
tore the hair all out of robe She al
lowed Us to assist her into the sleigh, but
We didn't tuck her up, nor put our arm
around her. That was a sad ride home.
W0 only ventured one remark on the re-
turn We remark that ''the big dipper
seemed to be bottom side up" Mary
said, 1T may seem SO to you, but it don't
to the rest Of US" She was ''sa kastic-
all Well, that was the end of our chance
to be minister's son-in-l law.


Boys, don't never order peppermint
sling when on a sleigh-ride, but i + you
do, be sure they put in the peppermint.
-Rip0n Representative
Year: 1867

THE EMPRESS CHARLoTE:- -NotWith-
standing the many positive statements to
the contrary, Paris correspondent asserts
that it IS certain that no Improvement
has taken place in the mental condition
of the unfortunate widow of the Emperor
Maximilian. All the attempts that have
been made to prepare her for the an
nouncement of his death have failed
owing to her incapacity to comprehend
the possibility of such an event Her
general health continues good, and she
is less subject to fits Of nervous irritabiity
than formerly. Her physicians do not ap-
pear to entertain very saDguine hopes of
the restoration of her mind Perhaps the
best thing that could be wished for her
would be her continuance In her present
state. To recover from it and find all her
hopes and happiness destroyed would sure
ly not be for this proud and sensitive Prin-
cess a future worth living for.
Year: 1867

In all their undertakings while those who were
blinded by prejudice and ignorance negecting his
advice, are still aboring against adversely and pow
erty. Be assured wealth. eminence and good luck
are within the reach of all If you wish to be rich
and happy you will consult him also
Year: 1867

dreamed dream in the midst Of my slumbers,
And as fast as dreamed il coined into numbers
dreamed that law had been recently made
That tax on old bachelors pxtes should be laid:
Aud In order to make them all willing to marry.
The tax was as heavy as men could well carry.
The bachelors grumbled and said twas no use
Twas monstrous injustice and horrd abuse,
And swore that to their own hearts blood from,


spng.


To the day of their death they would nscr pay


shilling


Tho Legislature determined their plan to pursue
80 they set all the bachelors up at vendue;
cricr was sent through the town, to and fro.
To rattle his bell and his trumpet 10 blow.
And to bawl out to all he met on the way
"Ho! forty old bachelors to be sold here to-day!"
And presently all the old maids in the town.
Each one in her very hest bonnet and gown,
From thirty to sixty, fair. plain, red and pale,
VI every description, all focksd to the sale.
The auctioneer then in his service began,
And called out aloud as he held out man
Here is an old bachelor-whO wants to buyt"
In q twinkle every maiden responded-I,I.
In short, at huge and extravagant price
The bachelors all were sold of in trice;
And forty bright maitiens some younger older.
Each lugged an old bacueor home on her shoulder.
Year: 1867

The Indianapolis Joarnal Of the 9th
relates the following:


A friend gives an account of most
terrible case Of burial alive of a hand
some young lady at Jacksonville, Illinois.
Some time last summer a young lady sew
enteen years of age suffered with the
toothache, went to bed with small phial
of chloroform, for the purpose Of quieting
her teeth. In the morning she was found
to all appearance dead, which was confirm.
ed by the opinions of several physicians
who were called and examined her body.
She was then buried. A few days since
her relatives were about to remove from
Jacksonville, having located in another
State, and h:d the remains Of the young
lady exhumed, for the purpose of taking
them to their new home. Curiosity prompt
ed the opening Of the coffin, when they
were horror stricken on finding the corpse
turned over, both hands full Of hair, and
the clothing torn to shreds, revealing the
horrible truth that the young lady had
been buried alive. The chloroform had
placed her in deep trance, the awakening
from which was in her coffin and grave.
The lady was engaged to be married at
the time Of her supposed death. A more
heart-sickening case we never remember
to have read or heard of.
Year: 1867

THE HEAD OF A DEAD MAN TRIES TO
SPEAK.-A poor fellow was guillotined
here few days after our arrival. Accord
ing to the custom his head and body were
given to the surgeons for the advancement
Of science. An experiment was tried with
the head with very interesting result
They injected into the arteries fresh arte-
rial blood, taken from a dog, and shortly
af,erward the head gave unmistakable
signs of life. The color returned to the
cheeks and lips, the eyes opened brightly
and gazed upon those around, the lips
moved as if attempting to speak, and the
whole face bore the semblance of active
life. So soon as the operator ceased to in
ject the life blood Of the dog, the appear
ance of death rapidly succeeded. It was
earnestly held by the eminent surgical
gentlemen in attendance, that during the
operation the brain was in full and natural
action, and that the lips tried to utter the
last thought that found resting place in the
mind of the condemned Letter.:
Year: 1867

You smile, said the reverend speaker, bu


l am in earnest.
lie had q certain amount of reason 70,
what he said, and that reason is not cred
table to the young women. Extravaganza
in dress makes it difficult for men in the
married state to fulfill their obligations
and this is the reason why young men dc
not want to get married. The young wo.
men have become so fond of dress that the
young men are frightened, and this is no,
for the good of society or religion. Let
me- give the young ladies this advice
Be less anxious about your appearance;
spend less Of your earnings in adornine
your persons, and think Of your souls.
Remember that the moment will force it.
self upon you when you will be stretched
out lifeless in the coffin. When that time
comes there will be a simple winding sheet
that may be bought for a few cents, to
wrap you in. The ornaments Of virtue
which have accompanied you all through
life, and will remain throughout an end
less eternity.


Though the great vice among women al
the present day is a want of economy, still
there is something of an immodest nature
There never was time when women stud.
led more sedulously the art of dressing
than at the present time. It has been re.
duccd to regular system, and the dress.
ing of the body is just as much an art as
sculpture or painting. If the women had
spent half as much time in adorning the
soul as the body they would have been
saints long s,ncr. leaving the sterner sex
in the background. Woman has a special
mission to rem we the rough spots and
smooth the uneven surface of man, and
make him love purity by presenting it to
him every day in her person. When wo-
man forgets her mission, and her habits
excite only illicit love, the result is social
and moral degradation. A young lady
who dresses in the fashion of the present
day, does not dress as "becometh women
protesting godliness with works.


There are certain things for putting and
padding which one cannot describe. They
have but one purpose, to make woman
appear what she should not wish to ap-
pear, lascivious. 1t is very common
thing for young lady to 20 into millin-
cry store and expend from twenty-five to
one hundred dollars, and then issue from
the door in such way that her own
mOtner would not De nDle 10 recognize her.
They spend great deal of money in MAX
ing themselves appear to the young gentle
men precisely what they are not. A young
gentleman said to me: "Marry whom
am to marry? You don't know what
they are. They can 60 into a millinery
shop. and if you marry them, you will
find they are not what they represent them
selves to be- This is one reason why 50
many young men hesitate about entering
into the state Of wedlock.
Year: 1867

If anything in the world will make a
man feel badly, except pinching his fing-
ers in the crack of a door, it is unques-
tionably quarrel. No man fails to think
less of himself after it than before. It de-
grades him in the eyes Of others, and what
is worse, blunts his sensibilities on the one
hand, and increases the power of pnssion-
ate irritability on the other. The truth is.
the more peaceably and quietly we get on
the better for our nci ghbors. In nine
cases out of ten, the course is if a man
cheats you, cease to deal with him if he
ISLANDERS you take care to live 70 that no
one will believe him. No matter who he
is, if he misuses you, the wisest way is to
let him alone; there is nothing better than
this cool. calm and quiet way of dealing
with the wrongs we meet with,
Year: 1867

A SIMPLE MODE OF COMPUTING INTER
Esr.-The following method of computing
interest at six per cent, will bear repub-
fishing, as it is very simple: Multiply
any given number Of dollars by the num-
ber of days of interest desired, separate
the right hand figure, and divide by six;
the result is the true interest of such sum
for such number of days at six per cent.
This rule is SO simple and so true, accord
ing to all business asages, that every bank
er, broker, merchant and clerk should
post it up for reference and use. There
being no such thing as fraction in it,
there is scarcely any liability to error or
mistake. By no other arithmetical pro-
cess can so decided information be obtain
ed with so few figures.
Year: 1867

A SERIOUS CHARGE.-A prominent cler-
gyman in the city of New York, during a
late religious discourse, made the follow
ing severe charge against the female por-
ton Of humanity thereabouts. He says


In relation to freedom from sin, he held
that the desire, an uncomfortable desire to
commit sin was often the consequences of
the education and habits of the parents of
the child who had it. 1t was we'll known
that at the establishment of A. L. Stewart
there were many bills made out, and went
to husbands and fathers, for goods which
had not been bought at all, but stolen
from that store, by their wives and daugh-
ters; not stolen because they could not get
money to buy what they wanted, but be-
cause Of an uncontrollible desire to steal.
Year: 1867

On SKArEs.-The editor of the Boston True
Flag went skating last winter, and relates his
experience il. the following :" slant to the
right with the right foot, slant to the left with
the left foot-and just then we saw something
on the ice, and stopped to pick it up. On our
feet again-two sants to the right and one to
the left with the left foot-and just then we saw
something on the ice, and stopped to pick it up.
On our feet again-two slants to the right and
one to the left, accompanied with loss of con-
fdence. Another slide with the right foot, and
we sat down with fearful rapidity, but with very
little if any elegance. What q set down it was,
for we made deep dent in the ice. Just then
one of the ladies remarked, o look, Mary, that
fellow with the hat on aint got his skeets on the
right place Ditto, thought we. Just then a
ragged little devil sung out as he passed u.s.
Hello, old Timber legs + and we rose suddenly
and put after him. Three slides to the right,
two to the left, and away went our legs, one to
the east and the other to the west, causing an
immense fssure in our pants, and another one
in the cold-O how cold-ics. The lady-we
knew she was one by the regf fk she made
again spoke and said, DO loon Mary, that chap
with the hat on has sat down on his handker-
chief to keep him from taking cold We rose
about as graceful as a saw-horse, when Mary re-
marked - Guess it aint handkerchief, En-
and Mary was right"
Year: 1867

UNION STATE CoNvENrIoN.-THE TEsr.-The
Union State Central Committee fixed on Wednes-
day, the 18th day of June, for the holding of the
Union Convention to nominate State officers to
be supported at the fall election. They also
made an apportionment and agreed upon test
to the effect that those shall be entitled to vote
at the primaries "who are in favor of the adop


tion of the proposed Constitutional Amendments,
and of the reconstruction of the late rebel States
in accordance with the laws enacted by Congress"


The Committee, by the adoption of this test,
has shown itself entirely equal to the emergency.
1t has met the expectations of the true Union
party of California, which, from the beginning
has sustained Congress, and is determined to fol-
low the wise measures of reconstruction adopted
by that body, to the end The loyalty of those
who reject the test, or dispute the right and pro-
priety of the Committee to propose it, may well
be subject of suspicion. The test will suit the
true friends of the country-whether born North
Southland all others may be considered luke
warm friends, who would be as likely to vote
against the party as with it. The counties
recommended, wherever practicable, to conduct
their primary elections under Porters law and
this, also, we regard an excellent suggestion.
Year: 1867

INDIANS AGAIS.-From E. D. Kellogg Esq, of
Hay Fork, we learn that party of wild Indians
passed around that settlement the latter part of
last week. camping on Saturday night in the
guch near Burke's residence at the old milk
ranch on Summit Creek. The band were seen
by some of the valley Indians Barker's, is
probably twenty in number, and usual their
course has been marked by their depredation..
On Salt Creek they skst q steer belonging to
the Drinkwater brothers-the animal ran to the
corral after being shot before it died. Crossing
over the divide to the 4" canyon, they next
robbed the cabin of Thomas Burns and wound
up by shootinga horse Of Ewing's. party of
fifteen men, took their trail at Burns cabin and
without doubt they will be overtaken and punish
cd. We can only repeat that we have always said
that the plan of transferring hostile Indians to
reservations situated near their former homes
has proved, and will always prove total failure
Nearly all the Indians taken from this county
two years ago, at heavy expense to the govern
meut are back again. This does not matter as
they are peaceably disposed, willing to work for
their living and should never have been removed
at all unless they could be well cared for. Any
attempt to keep hostile Indians a reservation
but day or twos journey from the scene OF
their former hostilities, where they can slip out
and do their mischief with no expectation OF
greater punishment than to be taken back to the
reservation if caught, would be ridiculous if it
were not for the evil the system has wrought.
The only secure plan to use with such prowling
bands when caught, is 10 kill the males OF the
party and send the so raws back with such tdings
as will prevent any more from leaving on SIM
liar expeditions.
Year: 1867

The receipts from Customs during
March were unusually lGrge, amount.
ing to sixteen million dollars. Last
year during tho same month they
were only 4 triAe over eleven million
dollars. This great increase is a sure
sign that 6dr merchants have felt en-
conraged to prepare for an active and
extensivereFival Of trade.-New York
Herald.


We can cay of Johesborough as
our contemporary of the Shelbyville
Republican. An equally hopeful and
significant evidence oftbis prosperity
having permeated almost every de-.
partment of tradej can 10 seen among
us in the ceaselesS activity and pleth,
4ric stocks of the merchants here.
Day after day we note the arrival of
goods BY The car load and yet the sup.
ply seems insufficient. Many of these
Rre reloaded in wagons and sent to
hundreds of stores in the surrounding
country only to create a new demand
and increased supply.


Our farmers in general are well
supplied with productive resources,
with an incoming crop now prom.
ising an abundant yield, reasonably
hope to once moro realize the halcyon
prosperity of other years. The ma
tional pulse throbs with pride at this
glorious prospect ofa speedy release
from the burthen of debt, transformed
as it were by the magic influence of
popular will into future vindication
of our national vigor. Let US strive
then with thankful hearts to merit a
continuation of the blessings thus
vouchsafed.
Year: 1867

Wc understand from reliable au
thority that n Union man named Du-
vail was ordered away from Mitchels.
vile, Tennessee, few days ago, by
the notorious Harper and some of his
gang: Duvall, not thinking il safe to
remain at home, after the threats had
been made, went to Gallatin, where
he stayed day or two, and then left
for some other point.-Press Il Times.


No necessity for State Guards, in
dcodI When Union men are COM
PEELED to leave their horAes in fear of
such bAnditti as Harper and his gang.
We hope and pray the day is not far
distant when all such desperadoes
will be properly disposed of and peace
and safety be secured to every man
in tho State.
Year: 1867

crutches had been knocked down in
the church, where she lay, unable to
rise, and on seeing her, the crow (who
was after something to eat,) few
down beside her, and cooking his eyes
at her very knowingly again crOaked:


Damn you"


The old lady eyed Him savagely for
a few moments, and burst forth in u
tone of reckless defiance:


"Yes-and damn got, too! had
nothing to do with getting up this
Methodist meeting and you know it,
too w


The poor old sUtl had mistaken the
crow for the devil, and concluded to
propitiate, if possible, the wrath Of
his Satanic majesty BY denying all
completely in this affair. The world
is full of just such people.
Year: 1867

B6jN Different sounds travel with
different degrees Of velocity. A call
to dinner will run over ten acre field
in a minute and half, while a sum.
mons to work will take from five to
ten minutes.
Year: 1867

pS- A young man Of great gallantry
recently rescued a beautifuI woman
who was in danger of drowning.
She stood in high tied shoes, sur
rounded by forty spring Under wat
erfall and notion in her brain.
Year: 1867

GA simple way to detect the pres
ebce of moisture is the surface Of the
is earth, to wear boots With hole in
the soles, or sit ON the groundtout pf
doors for two hours, and then calcalate
according to the degree Of dampness
in the seat of your breeehes.
Year: 1867

mo-. The owner of piece Of land
complaining how little it produced,
deemed that Che clover was so'short
that the honey bees, in order to get
at the honey, had to go down on their
knees.
Year: 1867

Some one paints the following pic
ture of paternity: "Think Of the
pleasure of a father, in dishabille,
trembling in the midnight hour, with
his warm feet upon a square yard of
oil cloth, dropping paregoric in tea
spoon, by moonlight,somebody thump-
ing on door, wife of your bosom
shouting "hurry," and The baby yell
ing till the fresco drops from the cell
ing."
Year: 1867

A Washington newspaper, supposed to
be in the interest Of the President, thus
threatens in the event of an attempt at his
impeachment:


eff necessary his strong and iron hand
will be invoked to stay the course, and pre-
vent the consummation of radical trea. on.
The great oath of the President to protect
and defend the constitution will not be for
cotton, and the people who sustain him
with their 5000 majority of the voting
population North and South, will not forget
him. Events have already brought the
government to the very verge of another
revolution. If the radical majority in
Congress pursues its reasonable course
much longer, the government, in order to
sustain itself, will have to arm its supper
ters At the call of the President, his
friends North and South, and the army and
navy will respond in such contest The
issue cannot be doubtful. Congressman
may be noble fighters on the floor of Con
gress, but when they come to lead their
cohorts into the field, it will be another
thing The real armies and great soldiers
of the Republic will be found fighting under
the flag We advise the opposition of the
determined and fixed fate, that Andrew
johnson will serve out his constitutional
term of Office.
Year: 1867

STEAMER NORTH WEST. In speaking of
the new steamer North Vest now being
finished at this port, the Daily Wisconsin
says that the Marine Inspector, in making
her survey for insurance, speaks of her as
being one Of the finest models for a vessel
of her class he had ever seen. He judged
the vessel would be easy to propel, and an
excellent sea boat She had center back
bone eighty feet long, eighteen inches wide,
and four feet deep which is bolted through
frame and forclocked This is to fasten the
engine to. There are three watertight
bulk heads, one aft and two forward. She
is to have the Planets machinery, which is
as good as new The engine is sixty-fve
inch bore, by ten foot stroke. The boilers
are ten feet shell and twenty four feet long,
return nues."
Year: 1867

The following is from an article in the
New York Nation about the recent supreme
court decision:


We have commented elsewhere on the
conouct of the court in embarking in de-
cision on points which came in no way be-
fore it. But we hope this whole matter,
grave and important as it is, will open the
eyes of the public to the great danger there
is that the brecches of law and of propriety
into which over-zeal on behalf of the right
now carries us may be one day used against
US in defence of the wrong. 1t is not very
long since there was majority In the Uni.
ted States on the side of wickedness, and
we may all live to see it again; if we should,
zee n,ay hare sore need, for our o,on protec-
ton, Of all the forms and traditions Of the
M,0 and the constitution.