smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1874

so large that all got on it. The lover
rendered her no assistance at ali. 1t
bore them to the head of the island, and
as good fortune would have it, the stream
between it and the Missouri shore was
frozen over, and they crossed without
difficulty. They reached tavern near
the river and after changing their wet
garments and becoming warm at good
fire, the lover hinted to the young lady
that 1t was time for them to have the
knot tied, as the magistrate had arrived
for that purpose, and was in the next
room. She gave him most whitening
look of contempt, and declared she never
would unite her destiny with one who
was selfish and cowardly. 1t was in vain
that he attempted by entreaty and argu-
ment to change her resolution-she was
immovable, and replied to him with
scorn. A few days afterwards she re-
turned to the house of her guardian,
thankful that she had escaped marrying
a man whose only object was her for
tune. Her lover returned to this side
of the river also, but such showers of
ridicule and contempt were bestowed
upon him, that he found it best to de-
camp, which he did, leaving behind him
host of unpaid demands The story
has this moral, that young ladies should
be careful with whom they run away.
Year: 1874

At Big Irooiz, Arfkor1eao' ehoJ heSr0 O
peculiar fashion which sometimes proves
embarrassing. As there is no preacher
within thirty miles, the way for marry
ing is kissing across a table. Recently
a New York drummer was out there He
put up at a private house and became
quite intimate. One evening he was
fooling around one of the girls trying,
generally trying the extent of her sweet
temper, when she gave his whiskers a
pull and ran. He followed. She got
the table between them. He chased her
around it several times When out of
breath he stopped on the other side,
making wild plunge, caught her in his
arms and gave her a hearty kiss. She
then sat down on the sofa, and they
talked pleasantly for couple of hours
he thinking it singular that she should
sit up so late.


At last she said, Don't you think it's
about time we went to bed p


4 guess you are right he remarked,
lets 60


She lit candle, and he was about to
do the same, when she said, Il reckon
ones enough. One candle will light two
folks to bed


Undoubtedly it would when those
two people occupy the same room. But
your candle won't illuminate my cham
ber'


Amt we going to occupy the same
room ! Amt we married =


Amt we what q shouted the gentle
man.


Married Didn't you, kiss me across
the table ? That married u.s.


A cold sweat spread over the drum
mer He kney that if he said he WASH t
married to her she would make an out
cry, and then her loving and much to-
bacco- consuming father would arise in
his wrath and carve him into outlets,
and her brothers would bring down their
shot guns and empty the contents into
him. He must be strategic He must
put her off. So be said


'Fairest of your sex, permit me to re-
mark that | did not know that kissing
across the table constituted marriage
ceremony. But | am content, [ have
never seen one who so completely filled
my ideal of a beautiful, sweet, loving
and modest woman. However, [ would
never think of holding you to this mar
riage until | had asked the permission
of your father to pay my addresses tc
you. Tomorrow, at dinner, when the
entire family are present, | will propost
for your fair hand


This satisfied the lady. and after be
slowing upon him a ferVent kiss sh,
, went to her room and he went to his
, He packed his carpet bag, took off hi
big boots, and made tracks for the near
est railway station. He didn't feel en-
, tirely safe until he reached st. Louis


He hasn't informed his wife of this littl
: adventure. He's afraid she might writ
to Arkansas for the facts in the case
!; and then he might get arrested for big
: amy. Women sometimes won listen t
reason, you know.
Year: 1874

| have just fallen upon piece of an
American newspaper apparently about
1880 in which is mentioned the follow
ing incident, respecting spirited girl


of seventeen in illinois. She was an
heiress to an estate valued at ten thou
sand dollars, and ran away with a young
man who paid his addresses to her, tax
ing with her an acquaintance as brides
maid. Her guardian believed her lover
to be wholly unworthy of her, and refus-
ed his consent to her marriage so she
went off to be married at a distance from
home, on the further side Of the Miss
issippi. When the party reached the
river. the ice was running furiously, and
an attempt to cross would be full of dan
ger A boat being procured, the young
lady, in momentary expectation of being
followed by her guardian, wished in
stantly to push from the shore, and all
embarked on the perilous voyage. The
party had nearly reached the head of an
island, nearly third of the distance
from the opposite shore, when the cur
rent became more rapid, the cakes of ice
very large. and their situation extremely
dangerous. The lover, excessively fright
ened, and forgetful of every one but his
own dear self, bawled out in the most
piteous accent, 20, shall be drowned p
and bitterly reproachcd bis lady love
as the cause of his probable death. She
uttered not word-her courage and
presence Of mind seemed to. increase
with the peril A tremendous cake Of
ice fairly capsized the boat, but it was
Year: 1874

Any soldier can recover pension,
varying in amount according to the de-
gree of disability, if disabled but
partially by disease, wounds or other
injuries incurred in line of duty. Many
believe that only those suffering from
a0ounds can collect pensions. This is
mistake. All soldiers are entitled, if
they prove their disability, of whatever
nature, was contracted in the line of du-
ty and United States service At this
late day, many of the officers having
died, or become scattered, it is exceed
ingly difficult to collect the evidence
necessary to establish claims. In order
to provide against the allowance of
fraudulent claims, the Pension Bureau
is compelled to scrutinize with the ut
most care each-item of testimony now
presented.


1t is so much easier to plumber the
public through the Government than to
rob it individually, that the prospect of
gain through false claims presents ire
sistible attractions to unscrupulous per-
sons, and it has become so difficult to
distinguish the fraudulent cases from
those that are meritorious, that the Bu-
reau is often unjustly accused of a lack
of inclination to dispose promptly of the
cases pending. If the chaff could be
readily separated from the wheat there
would be no cause of complaint


The laws have been so amended as to
make it very difficult for an attorney to
defraud claimant. In bounty cases,
before the claim is settled. vouchers are
required to be signed by the applicant,
giving the attorneys name and address
and the applicants address On these
vouchers check for ten per cent. is
sent to the attorney for his fee, and the
balance of the bounty is sent direct to
the claimants address, in a separate
check to his order. The soldier should
see that his correct address is inserted
in the papers. In pension claims, the
certificate in settlement is forwarded to
the United States Pension Agent, who
is instructed as to the amount of the
attorneys fee, which is deducted from
the Pension and transmitted by the
Pension Agent to the attorney. Notices
of settlement are always sent both to
the claimant and attorney by the Pen
sion Office.


An impression appears to prevail that
every soldier who served during the late
war is entitled to warrant for 100
acres of land. The subject has been
frequently agitated in Congress. and
numerous bills have been introduced
but a careful scrutiny of their provls
ions has generally revealed the fact that
they were so worded as to be of far
more benefit to spectators than to the
soldier, and they failed to pass.


Under the homestead act of June 8,
1872, every honorably discharged SOL
dier or sailor who served ninety days is
entitled to enter 100 acres of land but
in order to acquire a title he must COM
mence his improvements within six
months from the time of making the
entry, and he must reside upon, improve
and cultivate his homestead for period
at least one year after he shall have
commenced his improvements. Under
no other circumstances are soldiers OIL
their heirs entitled to land for services
rendered during the war of the rebel
lion.
Year: 1874

The New York World is showing up
the adulterations which are so largely
responsible for intemperance in the use
of liquor 1t might be thought that
the admixture of water would have no
injurious results, but its use necessitates
the addition of noxious ingredients to
make up for loss of color, flavor, consist
ency, brilliancy. and strength consequent
upon such dilution. Fusel-oil, which is
extensively employed in authorizations,
produces EQUALIZATION of which pure
liquor is Incapable. Besides this ingre-
dent. which gives fiery force to diluted
spirits. alum, the subcabonatc Of potash
and sugar of lead are used to add color,
and oil of vitriol to produce a bcady
effect. while Cayenne pepper and para
disc seed give fire and strength. These
are only a few of the Ingredients used,
but the extent of the injury they cause
shows the necessity for an adulteratlon
act like that which in England has been
found an efficient agent in the cause Of
temperance.
Year: 1874

A woman abused her husband, and
snubbed him in every direction. She
never allowed him to receive company;
but one day, wher some of her friends
came unexpectedly, she ordered him un-
der the bed. He went meekly, but held
up a corner of the spread. Drop that p
she cried, stamping her foot; drop it
this minute Do you suppose I'm going
to let YOU look out 2 i don't care what
you allow said the poor fellow with
the rashness Of despair; but whatever
you do. I'm going to look out of here as
long as | have the spirit of man !!
Year: 1874




Hon. T. w. PARK AND LITTLE EN-
Mat must be allowed that Mr. Park
makes out pretty strong case in his
favor, but the charges against him were
grave and explicit; and, as they have
gone several months unanswered, there
are many who acquired the belief that
Hon. Mr.. Park and Little Emma" arc
no better than they ought to be. They
are not the first unfortunates who are
popularity supposed to have lost their
characters by travelling too far on a
steamer, and we sincerely hope they
may both find them again without being
obliged to 60 either to reformatory IN
stitution or State Capital.


A few weeks ago several papers in
his State, some of them Republicans
and some Democratic, officially announc-
ed that Mr.. Park was not in the field
for Governor at all, and that all refec-
tions upon his character were conse-
quently gratuitous. From the fact that
he has waited until this time to make
his vindication, and from his digresssion
and homily in regard to railroad matters
at the close Of his letter, we conclude
that he is still in the field. If be is, it
will. of course, be perfectly proper for
him to continue to make presents of
building lots to Catholic societies, and
munifcent donations to educational in
stitutions. Richtord Sentinel.
Year: 1874

The Detroit Free Press says: About
IL o'clock Friday night policeman
met negro carrying a trunk along La
fayette street, east, and thinking he had
discovered an item. he collared the ne
gro and told him to drop that trunk and
explain. L kin do it, sab, replied the
stranger, as he put the trunk down.
DE family that was boarding me has
been akin for money, and as dey was
gone out tonight, | thought I'd git into
some family whar dey respected de pan
ic.' He was allowed to 60 on.


A young lady who prides herself on
her propriety, lately wrote home to her
parents regarding her boarding school
associates. She said ''1he girls are
awful slangy. One Of them told me the
first day ! came here that ] had better
walk off on nay ear The little chit !
/ felt just like putting tin roof on her.
And they use such disgusting phrases,
as you bet, and bully. ] have pitched
into them several times for their slang,
but they tell me to cheese it. and If
they go on in this way | shall cit up
and git, you bet"
Year: 1874

The additional particulars which we
give to-day Of the deluge which recent
ly struck Allegheny City and vicinity
with such fearful violence viii be resd
with deep sorrow by the people of Men,
phis. Considering the space inundated
and the character Of the people who suf-
fsred most by it, it is the most fearful
disaster Of the century, taking prece-
denee over the James river food
Of years ago, the milldsm accidents in
New England, the inundations in Aus
tria and Hungary by the overflow Of
the Danube, the foundations in Italy by
the overflow Of the Po, the breaking OF
the canadian in England, and even
the widespread destruction Of life and
property by the overflow Of the Missis-
sippi early this year. The sufferers by
this deluge are many In number, and
are poor. We need not say anything
more to Menphians, so fapsiliar with
death and suffering in its woset form, TO
move them to speedy relief for those
who in one fell swoop have lost their all
and are destitute. 1t is q case calling
Tor immediate sction and the most gen.
erOus outlay.
Year: 1874

To-day and tomorrow will positively close the
great bankrupt sale OF dry goods, by Messrs.
Of Tenth and streets. As the balance Of this
immense consignment Of hrst-class goods muit be
closed out at somc price to-day and Tomorrow, II
ducements Of most attractive character.
Year: 1874

and William H. Smith disagreed in q matter of
business. 1t appeared to be q mild disagree
ment at the outset, but as the parties gradually
warmed up in the debate as TO who was right,
things assumed a wsr-like appearance, and
when the conflict ended Smith found himself
piled into the corner OF the backyard from the
effects of a well-directed rock which had been
thrown by thei defendant, Warren. Smith
brought about a half bushel of rocks into
court which he claimed were pelted into his
ribs and back by the defendant, Warren. In
the development of the testimony it appeared
that it was a mutual fight, and the case was
,dismissed. -
Year: 1874

are additional reasons for giving attention
to this matter. The weight of evidence and
the majority Of physicists and foresters
incline to the belief that fruits are great
factor in preserving humidity IN the air,
not only by the exhalation through the
leaves of water drawn from the earth, but
by influencing precipitation. Article OF
a treatise on Forest MeteorOlOgy," lately
published in Bavaria, and one of the most
important contributions on the subject,
reads: In elevated regions, and during
the summer-halt of the year, woods tend
to increase the precipitation


The question which the member Of the
Farmers Club have opened is of an i'm
portance which the citizen as we'll as the
farmer will appreciate. Apples are our
national fruit, and their importance in do
mestic economy is too CREATOR us to see
their steady decay and increasing scarcity
without a protest. In the markets apples,
and imperfect ones, sell for SO a barrel.
while on the fruit stands they bring two
cents a piece. The consequence is that
for the poor this fruit is as great luxury
as oranges from Mcssina, bananas from the
West Indies, and California pears, when
from sanitary reason alone it should be
abundantly supplied them.
Year: 1874

Don't try to quenCh your sorrow in rum
or narcotics. IfYou begin this, YOU must
keep right on with it, till it leads YOU to
ruin; or il YOU try 10 pause, you must add
physical pain and degradation to the s"r
row vou seek to escape. OF all Wrctchcd
men. his condition is the most pititul who,
having sought to drown his grief in drink
awakcs from his debauCh with shattered
nerves, aching head and depressed mind,
to face the trouble again. That which
was at first painful to contemplate, will,
after drink, seem mnhearable. Ten to one
the fatal drink will be again sought till
its victim sinks hopeless, pititul wreck.
Work is your true remedy. If misfortune
hits YOU hard, hit you something else
hard pitch into something with will
There's nothing like good, solid, absorb
inc. cXhauSting work to cure trouble. If
YOU have met with losses, You don't want
to lie awake, thinking about them You
want sweet. calm, sound sleep, and to eat
Your dinner with appetite. But You cant
unless YOU work. If you say YOU don't
feel like work, and loating all day to tell
Dick and Harry the story of your woes,
vou'll lie awake and keep your wife awake
bv tossing. and spoil her temper and your
own break fast next morning, and begin to-
morrow by feeling ten times worse than
you do to-day.


There are some great troubles that only
time can heal, and perhaps some that nev-
er Will be healed at all but all can be
helped 10y the great panaCca, work. Try
it, you Who are afflicted. 1t is not a pat
Year: 1874

\ gentleman in the bcnevolence Of his
heart. dispatched his negro servant with
n fine pig in a basket, as a present to his
minister On his way was 4 grocery, at
which Jack called to refresh his spirits,
setting down his basket outdoors, and
while he was attending his whiskey, some
rude and wicked fellows took from his
basket the pig, and placed in its stead a
Young puppy. Jack, unconscious Of the
change. made rapid strides to the house Of
the worthy minister, and handed him the
basket. saying here is pig massa send
YOU to eat. The minister, uncovering the
animal, finds the contents of the basket
not at all acceptable, and returned the
basket to the servant with the message; !;
Tell your master that | don't eat puppies
"Puppy," says Jack, me thot he pig
On his return he again stopped at the
same grocery for refreshment, and the
same persons took from his basket the
puppy, and replaced the pig, and Jack in
haste returned to his master. On his
arrival, he handed the basket to his master,
giving at the same time the message of the
minister "Massa. massa, minister say he
no eat puppy" The gentleman raising
the covering. finds the pig he sent, return
ed in good order, and says to his servant,
puppy, Jack, what do you mean? this is
a pig" Jack looks at the animal with the
utmost ast0nishmcnt, me never see sich a
creature-he pig when he mind to be, and
he puppy when he mind to be-"
Year: 1874

ent medicine. 1t has proved its efficacy
since first Adam and Eve left Paradise be-
hind them weeping for their beautiful
Eden. 1t is an official remedy. All good
physicians in regular standing prescribe
it in case of mental and moral disease.
It operates kindly and well, leaving no
disagreeable sequela, and we assure you
that we have taken large quantity of it
with most beneficial effects. 1t will cure
more complaints than any nostrum in the
materia medica, and comes nearer to be-
ing cure all'' than any drug or COM
pound of drugs in the market. And
it will not sicken you, if you do not take
it sugarcoated.-Scientjfc american.
Year: 1874

The Portland 0regonian, the
organ of the Independentsin in Ore
gon, in late issue, spoke in re-
gard to the election in this Terri
tory as follows:


Knowing Judge Jacobs person
ally, and knowing him for first
class man, we should feel grati6ed
at his election, as we should re-
gard it as a triumph of honesty
and morality in the Republican
party. It viii probably be con-
ceded that we are not wishing for
Judge Jacobs election on parti-
san grounds. We are of the opin-
ion the question Of Republican and
Democrat is entirely too insignifi-
cant d matter to be made the basis
of contest for the Delegateship
from Washington Territory, in the
present situation of affairs. What
the people of that Territory want
is a man in Congress- man who
will make it his first and last care
to attend to the great wants of the
Northwest coast and especially Of
Washington Territory. Such q
man is Judge Jacobs.
Year: 1874

| We understand that there is a
band Of restless spirits, who are
anxious TO serve their country
and they may possibly have an op-
lportunity to do SO in the neigh
lborhood Of Stcilacoom-who meet
nightly at the rooms of certain
ones Of their number, for the pur-
pose Of devi>ing ways and means
to squeeze coin from the various
candidates for office.


The avowed object Of this high
toned and honorable organization
is to secure the cooperation of all
who are willing to prostitute their
manhood, and to bind themselves
together by a solemn agreement
to vote for the candidate who will
pay them the highest price for
their debasement. They are men
without principles, and strangers
to any honorable instinct, who will
sell themselves, like a wanton, for
gold.


These creatures, disgracing the
form of man, number a score or
more, and there are certain honora-
BILE gentlemen who have succeed
ed in securing the names of all
who are connected with the organ
ization, and who will keep sharp
lookout for them; and if they sue
ceed in finding a man on any of
the tickets in the field, who is so
low in the scale of humanity as to
attempt to barter with them for
their votes, that man will be open
ly denounced as villainous wretch
and his shame published to the
world.


There is stringent law in force
in this Territory which provides
severe penalties for any one who
shall be engaged in election frauds

or bribery, and which applies
equally to the bribed and the
briber. r'y eTai .er .


We warn all good men against
these unclean, leprous libels on
the human form, And we inform
this unholy organization that their
Infamous schems are known, and
that every man connected with it
is spotted, and that the first at
tempt which they make to rob
honest voters of their rights, by
selling their votes, will result in
placing themselves and the mon
strosity which seeks to purchase
them, within the narrowed limits
of a prison wall. l.hsaioJ -.


Thus much we say, not in the
interest Of any political party or
clique, but in the wider and broad
er interest of all good citizens,
whose safety lies in the purity of
the bsllot-box. tiI g ll


Let there be a combination Of
all honest ms6, who are willing to
abide the choice of honest votes,
against such bodies of debased
humanity, as the one which we
now have in our midst, and which
seeks to control our election by
the avilest practices. Let It be
strangled IN its infancy, while we
have the power, and let him who
attempts to buy or sell a vote, be
branded as an enemy Of the best
government that the world has
Fever seen; and let him waste his
kdays behind dungeon wall. o
Year: 1874




The customary charge for row.
ing a passenger thirty miles on the
Sound is s., and this was the sum
the boatman chartered at Tacoma
by Sharpstein, to take him to Sc
attic, asked for his services. But,
says the wouid-be Delegate, al am
up for Congress, sir; think of the
honor of rowing mel 1t is worth
a great deal to you to have a pos
sible Delegate, like myself, in
your boat, everybody will want to
go rowing with you afterwards.
Suffice it all, the good-natured fell
low took compassion on the POOR
man and threw off a dollar, the
bargain being concluded for four
dollars. Just before landing the
candidate offered the boatman two
short bits if he would lead him
through the principal street whist
ling, "See the Conquering Hero
Comes" but the magnanimous Of
fer was declined, so the great man
strobe up the street humming to
himself, " Hail to the Chief" while
the disguised boatman sat on the
wharf singing, "There " was a LIT
TIE Man." etc. On one of the half
dollars the boatman got for the
job there is the impression of q
mans fore-fnger and thumb quite
deeply indented. The coin bears
date 1S66-the year the candidate
for Delegate received coin change
at the hotel where he stopped in
Olympia, when a member of the
Council, the time he paid his bill
in the green backs he received for
his pay in that body.-Courier.