Year: 1874

~ AsSeA IVA SUuS CSSs


The following from the New York Sun
gives good idea of how the Grant admin
istsation go TO work to comply with the cry
ing demand of the people for retrenchment,
and 10 what extent they succeed. Honest
reader, peruse the following carefully, and
then tell us if modern Republicanism is not
l,boring to reduce the enormous cost Of run
ming the National Government. And tell us
also what you think about -perpetuating
| them in power.


"1hey found her in the Interior Depart
ment, il. the office of the Fifth Auditor
She had been there all the time. While
| the American people had been waiting for
her TO be produced; while Congress wrung
| lis hands and walled that she could not be
discovered and while fierce and eager
comni tee went prancing through all the de-
pariments with a telescope and microscope,
shotguns and fishing tackle, hunting for her
as the Senate hunts for evidence when
there's nyhody to lie vindicated-there she
sat n the Interior Department, in the Office
of Fifth Auditor Ella, on a high stool at a
desk, calmly and deliberately sucking the
life blood of the Republic-if we may be
allowed the expression-and daily running
the nation deeper and deeper in debt She
is female copyist. AS such she has been
DRAWING PAY.


She is the only person in the Civil Service
of this great and glorious rel ublic who can
be dispensed with Think of it a moment
or if you have plenty of time, fifteen or
twenty momenis-in all the Departments at
Washington only one supernumerary, and
she fem lie colyisl! They searched with
lighted candles through all of them; they
summoned secretaries and chief clerks and
heads of bureaus; they brought in some OF
the ahlest officers of the Government from
the billiard saloons in the neighborhood of
the Department, and they questioned them
rgorousl y and closely as TO the possibility of
reirenchment by reductioi of force. The
bell that somebody was drawing pay whose
services could just as well be dispensed with
amounted in the minds of this committee
and of Congress to a conviction. Else why
was there deficiency and an increase of the
national debt?


THE PUBSuT


of this person v,ne fierce and eager. 1t wae
suspected at one time that it might be a man
But in none Of the departments could there
he found man who did not support the Ad-
ministration and 90 home regularly on a fur
loush to vote. The men wlo did the work
OF the departments could not be spared, and
he men who sat up on high stools and used
quill toohpicks, and discussed national poll
tics with each other in the various depart
nenls, were indispensable. " ilhout them
Ile machinery of Government would hardly
run. They oil it. They represent Congress
.ional districts in all parts of The Union, and
their influence is felt at every election. With
out them great many members of Congress
would be obi ed to rema in a, home, and the
country would be at the mercy OF almost any


ody the people might take notion to elect.
1t is doubtful il the country would survive
1t. And yet tie fact r. maned that some
body was drawing pay whose services might
he di spensed with, and the committee pro-
posed to hunt him or h r down. The hour OF
THEIR TRIUMPH


came They had secured the departments
IN vain for days, tut now, in the lnterio
Department in the Office of Fifth Auditor
Ella, they scent their quarry. Fifth Auditor
Ell, had one female copyst whom he could
yet along without. He confessed 1t. Very
likely he pointed her ont. And the search
ended.


Mr.. Matt Carpenter aroused the enihusi-
ism of the Senate by his discovery of the
great stationery robbery by the representa-
lives of the press, so the committee and the
country have been thrilled by this successful
pursuit of the female copyist. When Mr..
Carpenter threw himself back in his seat,
shook ,he wild angles of his frosty hair ,and
electrified the Senate with the announcement
that he had found where $35 GA of he peo
pies money had gone, it was felt that it was
., step ii the right dine ciion, and that il
things kept on at that rate it would very
shortly happen that


ALL THE LEAKS


Would be stopped, and Mr.. Richardson
would resume the payment of the national
debt But the work did not stop there.
The Committee on Appropriation of the
House, emuous of Carpenters success, re-
doubled their diligence in pursuit OF the man
or wona, Who could be cisnssed from the
public service without imperiling the Gov
ernment. And so the work of retrenchment
goes bravely on. The female copyst has no
vote. Doubtless she did nothing but sit at
desk and write all day, taking no interest
in politics, and only earnng living for her.
self. The propriety of


DIsCHARGING HER,
No able-hodied man who sits on high stool
aud picks his teeth with quill and talks
politics in any of the departments will for one
moment question.


And now we suggest that this thing has
been carried far enough This pursuit Of
economy cannot be other than very wearing
to the health of Congress. They discovered