Year: 1878

y
apoor woman myself, and If you can't
pay the rem: of this room, l don't see as
you can afford the rent of the one up
stairs"


Here my lsndlady rubbed her nose vi
ciou.ly upon her apron, and stared out of
the very dirty window.


As this was evidently a challenge for
me to reply, said, firmly as could, a
few words which brought out the reason
for her visit that morning.


"Am / to understand that yeu wish me
10 lsave?"


'If you please, at the end Of the week
for there's tenant on the first floor that
would like to have this room"


VERY we'll. Mrs. Ruddock." I said !;
II will find room elsewhere"


'Thanky, miss" she said sharply |;
and giving her nose another vicious rub,
che left me to my thoaghts-and my
tears


For l was weak, faint and heart sick i,
and the coins in my purse had dwindled
down, so that it d:d not succeed in oh
tanning AN engagement in very few
days, had 10 resource but to creep back
10 the country and svow my failure.


Just three months since, and we were
all so happy in the little county vcn rage
and then, in visiting one of his people,
my poor father caught dangerous fever,
while in tending him my dear mother
was stricken with the same complaint,
and ere three weeks had passed Minna
and sat in the little study alone, in deep
black for the struggle had been brief,
and those we loved lay together in the
green churchyard, and we were only in
truders now in the little vicsrage that
had Been our homo.


We we're nearly pennisss. too, but a
brother Clergyman Of my fathers, quite
se poor, came forward and offered us =
temporary home till, MS he said, some
opening should occur for us.


gladly accepted it for Minna but for
Myself. ! WAS determined to try great
bbnuVis unus bWtNie lOT Ul Stli
In two years John Murray was to come
back from Australia to fetch me for his
wife, md till then I would be independ-
ent. So the dsv came At last when, with
many tears. we two girls had to separate
and with aching heart left the old Lin
coln,hire home. and reached the great.
dreary void of London early one after
Noon.


Iwss not long in finding place where
] could stay, in the shape Of second
floor front room in one of those heart
aching streets near the founding streets
that echo from mcrnng to night, with
mourn!ul cries uttered by vendors whose
goods it is impossible to surmise. and
with the dismal echoing tones of the va
riou. organs. So painful We're these last
to me that often Of an evening, when l
have returned from a weary, d.hearten
ing search for an engagement, and sat
alone and hungry, fcaring to spend nv
money in ANYTHING beyond the tea and
bread and butter upon which existed,
these doleful straips-chcering may be to
some-have had such an effect upon mo
that have sat and sobbed till utterly
worn out, have fallen asleep, to wake,
perhaps, hours after, to find it very late
and crawl shivering off to bed.


As the weeks passed on and my adver-
tisements and fees paid 10 the various
registry Offices had been without effect,
used 10 crawl back to my room growing
more and more dishenrtened l WIS al
waysa plain, sallow looking girl, ard now
in nay fast wearing black, l began to feel
that was day by day growing more
shabby and weary looking and thu. my
fssble chances of obtaining post were
growing less and less.


used to sit and ask myself whether I
had tried hard, and I knew had but il
was always the same. Whether adver-
tised for situation as governess, or went
from registry office to offer myself as n
companioneto lady ; it was always the
same l noticed Il look of disappointment
as soon as entered the room. for / was
neither pretty nor bright looking. and my
mournful black helped to sadden my as
peet. II was always The same-the lady
did not think I should suit her, and in
blank disappointment had to return.


And nsw it had come to this That
my lsndlsdy had grown tired Of me rs
the people Mt the registry offices, where
had more than once been told rudely that
] was not likely to get place as govern
ess o. companion, but better look lower.
That afternoon evidently doubtful of my
ability to pay, and perhaps disgusted with
my miserable way of living and afraid
that should be left an invalid upon her
hsnds-she hsd-rude'y, it seemed to
ms-requested me to leave.


In my present circumstances was ut
tcrly prostrated by the news, for l dared
not take lodgings elsewhere and 1 could
see nothing now but to sell a portion of
my scanty wardrobe, and go back to heg
for assistance from my fathers friends.


What a change and how soon had
my hopes of independent action been
blightsd was heart sore "a felt hew
in that geat city there WAS wealth being
squandered and luxury around me while
] was literally starving for poor living
was telling upon me fast. What should
Ido? What should do?


II was weary iteration had said those
words, and wePt till tears came no more,
and a dull, stolid feeling of despair had
come upon me. had almost sunk away
In the streets from tbs bright faced, hap
nY girls | pissed aud ut times | found