Year: 1874

story that would interest you, sc
we had to find other entertainment,
for a while, when one of the boys
told me to ask him how it happened
that he never got married. So | did


"Well, gentlemen" he began, ''it
don't seem right for me to tell how
it happened, but as it is about my,
self, L don't care much.


You see when l was young We had
to walk as high as five miles to
church and singing-school, which
was our chief enjoyment. But this
don't have anything to do with my
not gel ting a wife, but l just wanted
to show you that we had some trou-
BILE in them days in getting our
sport.


John Smith and were like broth
ers, or ike "Mary and her little
lamb" Where one went the other
was sure to go. So we went to see
sisters, and as we were not the best
boys imaginable, the old gent took
umbrage. and wouldn't allow us to
come near the house, so we would
take the girls to the end of the lane,
and there we would take the final
kiss.


We soon got tired of that kind of
fun, and l told John on our way TO
singing-school one night, that was
going to take Saddle home, and that
| was going into the house, too.


He said the old man would run me
off if 1 did.


told him l was going to risk it
any how, let come what would.


So home we went with the girls.
When we got to the end of the lane
told the girls We proposed going all
the way.


They looked at each other in a
way l didn't like very well, but they
said the old folks would be abed, SO
they said they didn't care if we did.


They were little more surprised
yet when l told them we were going
in little while, but as all was quiet
when we got to the house, we had
no trouble in getting into the kitch
en-.


Then and there we had our first
court, and 1 made up my mind to
ask Saddle to be my wife the next
time l came.


1t was row past the turn of the
night, and as we had four miles to
walk, l told John we had better be
going. So We stepped out on the
porch, but just as we did so, the sky
was lit up by lightning, and one tre-
mendous thunder peal rolled along
the mountain sides. Its echo had not
died out in the far off wales until the
rain began to pour from the garnered
fuIlness of the clouds.


We waited for it to stop until we
were all sleepy, when the girls said
we should go to bed in the little
room at the head of the stairs which
led out Of the kitchen; as their faith
er did not get up early, we could be
at home before the old folks were
astir. So after bidding the girls a
sweet good night and wishing them
pleasant dreams, and promising them
to come back on~the next Sunday
night, we Stated for our bed.


We didn't have far to go as the
bed stood near the head of the stairs.
John was soon in bed, but as l was
always little slow, and full of Gu
riosity, was looking around the lit
tie room.


At last 1 thought I would sit
down on a little chest which was
covered over with a nice white cloth,
while l drew off my boots. So down
l sat, when, stars of the East! I went
plump into big egg custard pie.


I thought John would die laugh
ing, for he said I had smashed that
custard all to thunder, and the plate
right in two.


You see, we had to be awful quiet
so the old man wouldn't hear.


was nowIe dy to get into bed, SO l
put out the light and picked up my
bo, is, think ng 10 put them in more
convenient place, when down my one
foot went through a pipe hole,
which had been covered with paper,
to my very hip.


Now. one part of me was up stairs,
whilst the longest part of me was in
the kitchen.


AS my leg was very long, it reach
ed shelf, which was occupied by
dishes, pans, coffee pots, etc, and
turning it over, down it went with a
tremendous crash.


The girls had not yet retired, and
l could hear them laugh fit to split
their sides.


felt awful ashamed, and was
scared until my heart was in my
throat, for l expected the old man
every moment.


extracted my leg from the con-
founded hole just in time, for the old
lady looked into the kitchen from
the room door, and asked, "what
was all that noise about?"


The girls put her off the best way
they could, and 1 went to bed, while
John was strangling himself under
the covers to keep from laughing
loud.


We soon went off into the land of
dreams, with the hope of waking
carly. l wish l could tell you my
dreams, but it would take me too
long. One moment, / would fancy
myself by the side of Saddle, slipping
nectar from her heaven-bedewed lips,
and the next l would be flying from
the old man, while he would be -four
ishing his cane over my head.


This all came to an end by John
giving me kick.


On waking up and looking around,
l saw Johns eyes as big as my fist,
while the sun was beaming in at the
window.


What to do now he couldn't tell,
for we heard the old man having
prayers in the kitchen.


John looked out of the window
and said we could get down over the
porch roof.


"Get out and dress as soon as pos
sible," he said.