Year: 1878

Girls, it has long been suspected by


deep-thinking people, are somewhat


too numerOus-prObably ia great


many more WAYS than one Whether


there is anything in the American eli


mate, or whether it is the reckless free


dom of the American constitution. or


whether 1t is something else the phi


lOSOpheTS have never even hinted, hut il


must be apparent to anyone who reads


the newspapers that the supply of girls


is considerably in excess of the demand.


So completely is this the case that one


man never has any trouble in going


about the country marrying girl here


and another there and still another


somewhere else, until unthinking peO-


pie would suppose there would be no


girls left after four or five daring kind


of men like this had made their rounds


But that doesn't seem to thin them


out, and in spite of the fact that Il man


i'll New York had dozen or so wives


revolving around him at once the other


day, there are still any number of girls


on hand all over the country, in assOrt-


Ell sizes, varieties and ages.


This truthful story, however. is about


some particular girls that Mr. ErastuS


Bailey Ofsomewhere out in Michigan,


ftiit vT hand. Inerc were sIA Of A.


Bailey'S girls, all daughters, and all


willing to be married, as the old gen


tleman was willing they should be.


He had put them ON the matrimonial


market i'll one sweet bunch, utterly re-


gardlesS of expense in the way Of curl


papers, store friZZeS, hOOkS-and-eveS


and hair-pins; they were displayed be


fore young men and middle-aged men


on all kinds of occasions, but none of


Mr.. Bailey's six daughters fished for a


husband with any kind of luck; not


one of them made catch. Other mems
daughters went off like hot cakes, it
seemed to Bailey, although neither he


nor his girls could see any reason WHY


men should be SO miserably stupid.


Bailey'S girls were everywhere, and vet
no man ever went where they were:


they were offered free of cost to any


body why would take them off the old
mans hands, but nobody seemed to
want cheap girls with red hair and pug
noses. 1t will probably never be found
out how the idea came to strike Mr..
Bailey, but he finally resolved to with
draw his girls from the market, and
give notice that not one of them would
listen to any kind of an offer of mar
rlage. Only philosophers will know
why he settled upon such a remarka-
bic course as this, but he was himself a
philosopher. Mr.. Bailey consulted
with his six red-headed girls and then
went down town and told everybody
that he had put stop to all fOOling
around his daughters; that he had
locked them up, and would stay at
home with club to keep the boys off
if less determined measures failed


The effect was immediate and trench
dOus. In two days some of the boys
began to watch when the old man left
the house, and then they slid in to see
his pug-nOSed daughters, but they al
ways Slid out few minutes before pa
came home. When Mr.. Bailey was
told Of these things he put a paddock
on the gate, and the boys jumped over
the fence, rather liking the romance Of
the thing. In two weeks one the girls
lowered herself from a second story
window, ran off with one of the bows.
Old Mr.. Bailey tore around in Il dread
full way before the public, put some iron
bars across the windows to prevent the
escape of any more girls, and cOngratn- !
lated himself on his cuteneSS. In an
other ten DAYS the second girl had got /
off i'll some manner utterly inexplicable I,
and came back with husband, and Il
third settled herself for better or worse |
with a bank cashier only little while |
further on.


This is all the matrimOny that had /
occurred in that family at last adyices, |
but the old gentleman is waiting with |
abundant hope that the other girls will |
glide nOiseleSsly out through the cellar |
OF fly out the chimney and climb the |
fence and get married. With three |
girls on his hands still he has bought |
4 shot gun and chained an unusually /
ferOciOus dog i'm the back ward and put I
an extra bolt on the back door lie /
gives a regular warning of these things /
all over town every day-and hopes 1
for the worst. Ii will certainly be re- /
allied. for everybody knows. as we'll a. 4
Mr.. Bailey, that when yOu lock up !
there are always lots of /.
people waiting for a good chance To !
break in and carry it off; and this al /
WAYS works the more So with a girl
than anything else. \ man who 4
wouldn't steal your purse doesn't have .
8ny scruples about carrying of your F.
girl. There is probably no moral to /
this story, but it is al enduring lesson .
to all fathers; lock up your daughters. /
-PhjI0. Times.