Year: 1878

marked the reporter, astonished that
the reveree should be the case.


will you please elucidate


WHAT IS HE'LL, ANYwAYP


with pleasure replied his majesty
smiling gracefully. Hell is hell. 1t
is an entity, thing by itself. The
prevailing impression relative to its
construction and material employed is
correct. We keep it as warm as pos
sible. But the knowledge possessed
by mortals of who come here is very
deficient. Indeed when. 1 take you
through the department you will be
apt to meet many whom you least ex-
pected. In the first place individu-
ally, have no power to bring man
here. This is generally known but
not reflected upon. 1 am put in
charge of the department. The gov
ernment alone can send people here.
And where you mortals make your
great mistake, is IN thinking that the
government sees with your eyes
Nothing could be more foreign to the
actual facts. The government locke
and judges with it's own eyes and in.
telligence. Therefore it is that we
have SO few poor people. Most of the
poor have their hell on earth. 1t
would be no novelty to 'em to come
here. OF course, sins are the creden.
tials that admits people here. But it
seems to me very few Of you people
know what SIN is. You take the fag
end of it for mighty whole and think
the government does the same. If q
man gets drunk and kills q man, you
break his neck and eonsign him here.
But he seldom gets in. He is not the
one the government sends here. The
man the government sends is


THE NAM THAT MAKES THE Law,
that licenses the manufacture, aud
protects the sale of the liquor that be
got drunk on. That drunk aud the
attendant murder was only the little
fragment of tremendous crime. You
don't suppose the government has
time to go looking up the little fish
when ii can lay its hands on the big
whales! Not much. Some of your
folks say that drink is my right. bower.
No, sir. Drink is your own agent, up
there, for your own special trouble
Ny right bowers are the gentleman
who give their mortal aid to it. Then
you think many poor people come
here because poverty and crime are so
linked together. Bless you, no. Pow
erty is punishment unto itself We do
not care to enter it here. It is Dives,
not Lazarus, we are after. And why /?
Because Lazarus poverty is Dives
crime. BY cutting down wages by
extortion, by holding and grinding
him under the heel of poverty build
ing fine houses out his blood money
by neglecting to be his brothers keep
or, Dives has assumed the crimes of
Lazarus, for Lazarus is Dives crea-
ton. Como over here to the window.
There, do you see that camel in the
grassplat out there? You do. Very
well. Look here. Observe this fine
cambria needle 1 hold in my hand.
Do you think you could drive one of
the millions of hairs on that camel's
back through the eye of that needle :?
No. Very well. A rich man


HAS TO DRIVE THE WHOLE ANIMAL


THROUGH


that needles eye,or-he. comes in here.
Astonishing, you say. Perhaps it is
in human point of view. but have
just told you that the government
does not look upon these thugs as
you mortals do. 1t finds a cause for
an effect and it is always just one.
What you good people are pleased to
call economy, industry, and frugality.
veryoften pass for unchairity, greed, and
selfishness, with the government. We
have great many theoretically good
men come here; practically good
one, never. There are lots OF people
think they can pay their taxes in pray
err; but though the government don't
object to prayer, it knows the differ
ence in a moment between prayer and
wind. You people think you can
humbug the government, and only
manage to humbug yourselves. Why.
there were some ladies around here
with subscription book the other
day, and wanted me to donate to the
building Of nice. new church for
Rev. Banggospel. Do subscribe to
churchesP OF course 1 do, sir. Pray,
Why not2 What are you looking so
surprised about9 not only subscribe
literally, but patronize lots of them.
No, not all. There are some that l
never 60 into, nor never will. My
connection with those attend is Sim
liar to that of all present, from him in
the pulpit to the sexton at the door,
private interests, you know. Well. as
1 was saying, these ladies called on me
for q subscription, and of course l
gave literally. But when they were
going out there was a ragged man,
who died in states prison cursing like
. fury, came down here to go in, and
he saw them and said: yes, had
you put the money that goes in that
mutual admiration society into the
stomachs of my wife and little ones
would not ho horn, nd ono Of the
ladies said, I'VE spend enormously for
health officers and. poor commissioners
for the good of you people,'-and
thought the fellow had been iustly
rebuked for his impudence. 1 did in
deed.


WOULDN'T LET HIM IN.


'Then you have lot of people uI
there soaring the wits out of poor in
~.