Year: 1866

Looking Under the Fed.


1t is the habit of many persons to take
look under the bed before retiring for
the night. Mrs. Evergreen, my beloved
wife, indulges, if indulgence it can be call
ed, in this peculiar practice. / do uot OBJ
ject to it in the least, so long as she does
not enforce the performance upon myself,
but when, as is sometimes the case, she
torgets it until she has put out the light
and ensconsed herself under the comfort
er, then it is hard that |, who am not
troubled with nervous apprehensveness,
should have to get out in the cold and do
it for her. l have often remarked to Mrs.
Evergreen, when have seen her prying
under the bed, that it was a silly habit,
and that the sooner she gave it up the
better. TO this gentle admonition my
better half invariably rejoins:


"La, Evergreen! what harm does it do /?
It's a kind of satisfaction to know that
nobody's under there, and then don't
think of such a horrible thing after Pm in
bed"


Ithink, my dear, you might just as
well pursue your investigation further
and look into the bureau drawers and
the clothes basketr


Evergreen she will rejoin, don't men
ton the idea, or shall certainly do so.
Come to think of it, man could very
easily get into the clothes-basketp


Certainly he could, my dear, quite as
easily as Falstaff You should certainly
include the clothes-basket, and, by-the-by,
there's the chimney why not look up
that as welly


Now, Evergreen, you're laughing at
me, But | can't leave off the habit, and
| never will, It's comfort for me to
know that there's nothing wrong about
it, and don't see why you should deprive
me of it,


So under the bed goes the candle, and
no signs of humanity being discovered,
Mrs. Evergreen is able to repose in
peace. But, as already observed, this
precautionary act is sometimes forgotten;
and am myself obliged to rise, light the
lamp, and report. I've done it rather
more frequently of late than is agreeable,
and have intimated as much to Mrs. K.
She says:


very well, Evergreen, I'll do it m s If


But This procedure is almost equally
as bad, for she invariably let's the cold in
on me both in getting out and getting in.
If it were not for increasing this mental
idiosyncrasy on the part of Mrs. Ever
green, by giving her some good reason to
apprehend danger, | should relate to her
what am about to lay before the reader.
In this narration, therefore, ask the pub
lie most particularly to bear in mind that
Mrs. Evergreen is of sensitive nature,
rather apprehensive and slightly super
stitious, and that what l have to say,
must, under no circumstances, be told
again. If for two-and-twenty years THAT
is the period of our welded life, and hap
py years have they becn)-if, | say, have
for this long period refrained from i'm
parting the matter to the beloved sharer
ofmy joys and partaker of my sorrows,
surely the public (which, as We know,
always does keep secret) will keep mine.


All young men, | suppose, have love
affairs before they eventually fix their af-
fections on the Que who is to bless their
lot in life. know that had, and don't
regret it. Regret it far from it, Mrs.
| Evergreen is not present, and therefore
have no hesitation in saying that if | had
my life to live over again I'd like to 60
through with the same sentimental eX-
perience, particularly if it was to be sue
ceeded again by leading to the hymenial
alter the present Mrs. Evergreen,


was not bad-looking when was in
my twenties. i think may go further,
and confdentially say that <Gus Ever
green was decided tavorite among the
girls of Oakville, and really believe that
could have had any of them for the ask
ing AS before remarked, Mrs. Ever
green is not present, and indulge my
Thoughts somewhat more freely than
would otherwise be the case. l don't
think that cared particularly for any of
the Oakville girls, however, and might
have kept my heart whole to this day if
it had not been for the circumstances
which l ana about to relate.


Fred Evans, who had been nay chum
at school, came to make me visit at Oak
vile for "a day or two,' as he said, when
he came, but he made 1t week or two
easily enough after l had taken him about
a little among the young ladies' When
that time had expired Fred said he really
must go, as he didn't know what his IA
ther and mother would think of his long
absence; but it ended in his relieving
their anxiety by letter and sending for
his trunks. knew how the matter was,
perfectly well, and that Belle Bronson
had bewitched him out of his FIVE senses.
Fred used to put it on to the Country air
and the quiet which was benefitting his
bealth,' &c, but il was no use tryiag to
deceive me, and told him so Then he
owned up frankly, and / promised to help
him all l could, il he required any help
in the prosecation Of his suit. never
thought Belle iirt, or that she would
willingly distress any human being bai