Year: 1874




forts to prevent the scandal being
made public, which was threatened
by the trial of Tilton by the church,
and says of Tilton | was so deter
mined to carry out my pledges to
Moulton for him and do all in hu-
man power to save him even from
himself, that was ready and re-
signed if that would stop the scan
dial. l wrote a letter of resigna-
ton, not referring to the charges
against me, but declaring that had
striven for years to maintain secre-
cy concerning scandal affecting
family in the church, and that as |
had failed l herewith resigned.
This letter was never sent. A lit
tie calmer thought showed me how
futile it would be to stop the trou-
ble--a mere useless self-sacrifice--
but | showed it to Mr.. MOulton,
and possibly he copied it. | have
found the original Of it in my
house. If could at this moment
remember any of the other letters
which | have written to Mr.. Moul-
ton would do so. If he has pre-
served all my illusions of feeling
he must have large collection. |
wished him to bring them all be-
fore the committee. | should have
been glad to get such hints as they
may contain to refresh my recollec-
tion of facts and sequences. had
no fear of their full and fair publi-
cation, for though they would
doubtless make a sad exposure of
my weakness, grief and despon-
dency, they do not contain line
confessing such guilt as has been
charged upon me, or word incon-
sistent with my innocence, nor any
other spirit than that Of a gener-
Gus remorse over a great and more
irreparable evil. But however in
tense and numerous may be these
expressions of grief, they cannot
possibly overstate the anxiety
which I constantly felt for the fu-
ture, the perils of which it was
now clear / did not eXaggcrate nor
the sorrow and remorse which l
felt originally on account of the in
jury which l supposed | had un-
Willingly done to a beloved family,
and afterward for the greater in
jury which / became satisfied had
done by my unwise, blind and use
less efforts to remedy that injury,
only as it proved at the expense of
my own name, the happiness of my
own family and the peace of my
own church.


Gentlemen of the committce-in
the note requesting your appoint
ment | asked that you should mako
full investigation of all the sour
ces of information. You are wit
nesses that i have in no way infu-
enced or interfered with your pro-
ceedings or duties. / have wished
the investigation to be so searching
that nothing could unsettle its re-
suits. / have nothing to gain by
any policy of suppression or COM
promise. For four years / have
borne and suffered, though, and I
will not go a step further. / will
be free. / will not walk under a
rod or yoke. If any man would do
me q favor let him tell all he knows
now. 1t is not mine to lay down
the law of honor in regard to the
use of other persons confidential
communications; but, in so far as
my own writings are concerned.
|. there is not a letter nor document
which / am afraid to have exhibit
ed, and l authorize any, and call
upon any living person to produce
and print forthwith whatever writ
ings they have, of an source what
ever. 1t is time, for the sake of
decency and public morals that this
matter should be brought to an
end. 1t is an open pool of corrup-
ton, exhaling deadly vapors. For
six weeks the nation has risen up
! and sat down upon scandal. Not a
/, great war nor revolution could
|, more have filed the newspapers
T than this question of domestic


trouble, magnified thousand fold,
, and like q sore spot in the human


body, drawing to itself every NOR
bid humor in the blood. Whoever
is buried with it, it is time that
, this abomination be buried below
; all touch or power of resurrection