Year: 1866

Il Inc mOplie AdCcTUSeT ana AeytSteil


in "a little small talk with our Northern


brethren" thus laysthe case before them
We know very we'll that there can be


no more war made upon us--that we


cannot be reduced to the permanent con-


dition Of conquered provinces or terrific
ries, and that heneeforward we take our


chances of political happiness or misery


with the rest of the States North, East


and West. Shape your Government as


you will, gentlemen of the North-make


it republic, monarchy, an oligarchy
we are in the same boat with you, and


we sink or swim together. Remember


that If you wish to destroy the life of


the South, politically, commercially and


socially, all we can say is, you are great


fools, and you will hereafter pray in


sackcloth and ashes to be delivered


from this body of death" which you have


hung about you. When you come to


carry out your menacing boast of settling
arrearages with Queen Victoria, and of


kicking Napoleon and his "squatter soy.


ereignty" out of Mexico, you will prob
ably wish that you had not emasculated
eleven States whose soil and institutions
have proven prolific Of that sort of men


which, according to lofty English


statesman and poet, constitute State.
/. The truth is, brethren of the Union,


you cannot very well do without " us


rebs."4 We are pretty large spoke in


the general wheel, though we do not pre-


tend to be the hub. We yield that


to Bosting" And when to our WOO


ings to get back to the family bed and


board" you show us the mitten, we make
due allowances for the coyness of vir-
gin courtship, and persist in believing
that you want and mean to take us at
last, after duly going through the bushes
and TASK pas which are so becoming
to modest maiden natures like yours
For, if you didn't want us, what in the
deuce did you fight us so hard for ? 1t
wasn't to ,skick us out of the Union "
that you raised three millions of men
and made the whole land bristle with
steel and fame with fire, because that
object was attainable at far less cost. 1t
was to keep us in, and now do you want
to make US believe that after you have
pulled caps, torn out your hair, and
taken laudanum in the anguish of your
regret at having to lose us, and having
won us back, that you don't mean to
have us No woman was ever so tickle
and srrant jilt as that No; you mean
to have us, and we mean to have you.
You have broken up our plans Of single
blessedness and refused 10 let us retire
from your amatory embraces in a
nunnery.


And now we must take you . for better
or for worse and albeit the nuptials
will not be warmer at first than those the
Doge Of Venice was wont to celebrate
with the Adriatic-the bans are pub
hshed, and we must wed again. So pray
make Sumner and Stevens, and those
other lunatics quit their stage tricks and
all their demnition" nonsense, and
walk up to the altar and be done with.
We are a match not to be despised. We
have bully" dover to settle on some
happy partner-the Lord knows how
many rich acres and how many annual
hundred millions of gold cotton, which
will be highly convenient in arranging
certain little financial difficulties and
foreign balances incurred during the ar
dor [cannon balls and sharpness swords
and bayonets) of your courtship; and
then, if anybody thrusts his fist 10 your
face, we can "pitch in" for you in 8
style illustrated by the gray.jackets on |
many a splendid field of valor


The fact is, we are irresistible and |
you mean 10 have rs Why not, then,
leave off fooling and conniyering. and /
name the happy day at onee7 1t would |
be our silver wedding, and we could invite
the whole family, and have q jolly, royal,
roaring frolic; apples from Yankee land,
and mintjuleps from Rebellion. We
claim old Pennsylvania Whiskey !
Straight" Of the House of Representa-
ives for the first polka Chawles,"
,f the Senate, shall have the blaekest
weneh for his partner that can be found
,etwixt the Potomac and the Rio Grande.
Come, hasten up the national spree, and
cts on With the daDcer' We are de-
.idedly losing time and money, progress
md prosperity, 70 say nothing Of our
TODD names, By tins silly and protracted