Year: 1877

list carefully and could not see {


mule way-billed for any place. Sc


clear headed man as Noah did not


dare to take one on board, as he


knew he would kick hole through


her in less than a week. l don't


know a man on whose head you


could pour quicksilver and run less


risk of its spilling off than on


Noah's. He was a dreadful level


headed man, and before the freshet


was over everybody on earth real


lied the fact.


The origin of the mule is envel


oped in a good deal of mystery


Tradition informs us that when the


flood had subsidized, and the ark hsd


laid on Mount .Ararat, Noah was


very much'surprised ia one of his


observations to find a good healthy


mule standing on the top of an adj
joining mountain. The same tradi-
tion informs us that the mule is the
only animal that lived through the
food outside,the ark.


The mule can be considered in q
good many ways, though the worst
place to consider him is directly
from behind, anywhere within a ra-
dius of ten feet. l never consider
a mule from that point unless l am
looking out through the flue of a
boiler.


The word mule comes from the
Greek, and signifies "to stop" and
the mule himself comes to a stop
also. Like multiplied by like pro
duces like. Grasshoppers multi
piled by grasshoppers produce a
famine, and potato bugs multiplied
by potato bugs produce a rise in
the price of yeast. But when you
try to multiply mules they don't
multiply, and hence the word mule.
You may study your arithemetic,
and read through all of Trains lee
lures, but you can't discover why
that is so any more than you can
why a woman can't put on a rubber
without leaning up against some
thing. The mule has one more leg
than a milking stool, and he can
stand on one and wave the other
three round in as many directions.
He has only three senses, hearing,
seeing and smelling. He has no
more sense Of taste than a stone
jug, and will eat anything that con-
tains nutriment, and he don't care
two cents whether 1t be one per cent
or ninety nine. All he asks is to
pass him along his plate, with what
ever happens to be handy round the
pantry, and he won't go away and
blow how poor the stake is. He
just eats whatever is set before him
and asks no questions.


If / were to have a large picture
of innocence to hang up in my par
lor, and / did not wish to sit for it
InysaEf, I should get q correct like
ness of a mule. There is innocence
enough depicted in a mules counte
nance to fit out a Sunday school
class. 1t looks guileless as an angle
worm.


A mule never grows old or dies.
Once brought into existence he con-
tinues on forever. The original
mule is now alive somewhere in the
South, and is named Robert
because he is so stubborn.


Mules are chiefly found in the
South and West. They have been
more abused than Judus Iscariot.


A boy who would not throw a
stone at q mule when he got a
chance would be considered by his
parents too mean to raise.


The mule is a good worker but he
cannot be depended on. He is liza
BILE to strike,- and when a mule
strikes human calculations fails to
find out any rule by which to reckon
when he will go to work again. 1t
is useless to pound him, for he will
stand more beating than a sitting
room carpet. He has been known
10 stand eleven days in one spot,
thinking of something,
and then start off again as though
nothing had happened.


/ have been through the New
York Stock Exchange, and spent
part of day in a boiler factory and
have been on one or two Sunday
school excursions for children, but
[ never knew what noise was till /
heard lot ofarmy mules bray.


| never owned a mule. came
near buying one once. He was a
fne looking animal; his ears stood
up like the side spires on an Episco-
pal church. His tail was trimmed
down so that it looked like a tar
brush leaning up against him. He
looked all innocence though he was
in no sense. The owner sat in the
wagon, with his chin resting on his
hand and his elbow resting on his
knee. In the other hand he held a
stick with brad on the end of il.
examined the mule and asked the
man a few questions, and out OF
mere form inquired If the mule was
kind, or if be kicked. "Kind?
Kick?" said the man, and these we're
the last words he uttered. He
put his stick over the front of the
wagon, and stuck the brad into that
mule. 1t was awful 10 see a man
snufIed out as quickly as he was.
1t almost took my breath he went
so suddenly. 1 never saw the
thread Of life snap so suddenly as
It did on that occasion. lie didn't
have time to leave a message for
his family. That mule simply
iucked his head, and then a pair Of
heels flew out behind; there was a
crash, a flying Of splinters, and that
was all and the next moment that
mule Ard I stood alone, my face
covered witt Astonishment two feet
ieep, and his covered with part Of
IN old bride. The next day I read
IN account in the telegraphic news
Of shower OF flesh in Kentucky. 1
was the only man that could ex
plain that phenomenon, and did not
lare to. lest / should be implicated


10 Che affair with the other mule.


have seen death in many forms,
but don't recollect ever seeing a
faEeral gotten up with less pomp
md display than on that occasion.
If / had my choice, 10 either york
IN a nitro glycerine factory or take
rare Of a mule, should 60 for the