Year: 1874

q


Wife, said Ed. Wilbur one mori
ing as he set stirring his coffee wit


one hand and holding plum cake 0
: the other, and looked across the tab


into the bright eyes of his neat littl
. wife, I" wouldn't it be good joke /
a get bachelor Bill Smiley to tax
e Widow Watson to Barnum's sho'
! next week ??


You cant do it, Ed; he won't as


her; he'sso awful shy. Why. he cam


here the other morning. when l wa
a hanging out some clothes, and b
2 looked over the fence and spoke; bu
/ when 1 shook out a night-gown b


blushed like girl and went away"


:. think can manage il, said Ed.
but I'll have TO lie just little. Blu
then il wouldn't be much harm undei
the circumstances, for | know sh.


likes him, and know he don't dislike


her; but as you say, he's so shy. III
just go over to his place to borrow
some bags of him, and if L don't baG


him before | come back, don't kiss me


for a week, Nelly"


So saying, Ed. started, and while he


is moving the fields. We will take a


look at Bill Smiley. He was rather a
good looking fellow, though his hair
and whiskers showed some gray hairs,
and he had got set of artificial teeth.
But every one said he was good soul,
and so he was. He had as good a
hundred acre farm as any in Norwich,
with new house and everything
comfortable, and if he had wanted a
wife, many girl would have jumped
at the chance like u rooster at grass
hopper But Bill was so bashful-al-
ways-dnd when Susan Berrybottle,
that he was sweet on Though he never
said boo to her) got married to old
| Watson, he just drawed in his head
I ike mud-turtle into his she'll, and
| there was no getting him out again,
| though it had been noticed that since
Susan had become a widow he had paid
more attention to his clothes, and had
been very regular in his attendance at
the church where the fair widow at
tended.


" But here comes Ed. Wilbur"


Good morning, Mr.. Smiley


Good morning, Mr.. Wilbur.
What's the news your way


:" Oh nothing particular, that | know
of" said Ed, "only Barnum's show
that everybody is talking about, and
everybody and his girl is going, too.
was over to Sackrider's last night,
and l see his son Gus has got a new
buggy and was scrubbing up his har-
ness, and he's got that white e-taced
colt of his as slick as seal. / upder-
stand he thinks of taking Widow Wat
son to the show. He's been hanging
around there good deal of late, but
I'd just like to cut him out, / would.
Susan is a nice little woman, and de-
serves better man than that young
pup Of a fellow, though | wouldn't
blame her much either if she takes
him, for she must be dreadful lone
some, and then she has to let her farm
out on shares, and it isn't half worked,
AID no one else seems to have spunk
enough to speak to her. By jingo
Ii | was single ma ID show him
trick or two"


So saying, Ed. borrowed some bags
and started around the corner of the
barn, where he had left Bill sweeping,
and put his ear to knot-hole and lis
tened, knowing that the bachelor had
a habit of talking to himself when
anything worried him.


Confound that young Bagrider =
said Bill, what business has he there,
I'd like to know. Got a new buggy,
has he? Well, so have /, and new
harness, too and his horse cant come
in sight of mine. and | declare I've
half mind to-yes, | will Ill go
this very night and ask her to go to the
show with me. 'llshow Ed. Wilbur
that ain { such calf as he thinks |
am, if did let old Watson get the
start of me in the first place Y


Ed. could scarcely help Laughing out
right, but he hastily hitched the bags
on his shoulder, and witha low chuckle
at his success, started home 10 tell the
news to Nelly; and about FIVE o'clock
that evening they saw Bill go by with
his horse and buggy on his way to the
widows. He logged along quietly,
thinking of the old singing-school
days-and what a pretty girl Susan
was then-and wondering Inwardly ii
he would have more courage now to
talk up to her, unit. at the distance of
about mile from the house he came
to bridge-oyer large creek-and it
so happened that just as ne reached
the middle of the bridge he gave tre-
mendous sneeze, and blew his teeth
clear over the sh-board, and strik-
ing on the planks they rolled over the
bridge and dropped into four feet of
water.


Words cannot dojustice to poor Bill,
of paint the expression of his face as
he sat there-completely dumbfound
ed at this startling piece of i'll luck.
After a while ne stepped out of the
buggy, and getting on his hands and
knees looked over the water.


Yes, there they were" at the bot
tom, with crowd of little fishes rub
bing their noses against them, and Bill
wished to goodness that his nose was
as close for one second. His beautiful
teeth that had cost him so much, and
the show coming on and no time to get
another set-and the widow and young
Sackrider. Well, he must try and get
them some how and NO time to lose, for
some one might come along and ask
him what he was fooling around there
for. He had no notion of spelling his
good clothes by wading in with them
on. and besides, if he did that he
could not go to the widows that night,
so he took look up and down the
road to see that no one was In sight,
and then quickly undressed himself,
laying his clothes in the buggy to keep
them elem. Then he ran around and
waded into the almost icy water, but
his teeth did not chatter in his head,
be only wished they could. Quietly he
waded along so as not to STIR up the mud
and when he got to the right spot he
dropped under the water and came up
with the teeth in his hand and re-
placed them in his mouth. But hark !
What noise is that? A wagon and
little dog barking with all his might,
and his horse is starting. Whoa !
Whoa said Bill, as he splashed and
houndered out through mud and wa
ter. "counfound the horse. Whoa I!
Whoa Stop, you brute you, stop
But stop he would not, but went off at
a spanking pace with the unfortunate
bachelor after him and the little dog
yclping after the bachelor. Bill was
certainly in capital running costume.
but though he strained every nerve he
could not touch the buggy or reach
the lines that were dragging on the
ground. After while his hat shook
off the seat and the hind wheel went
over il. making il as fat as a pancake.