smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1874

tis feared that cremation would lead
10 family jars.


The dentists are pulling through the
hard times remarkably well.


Why is a spider good correspondent :
Because he drops line by every post.


What is that from which, il you take the
whole, some will remain Wholesome.


The proposition to introduce ladies as
railroad conductors is. frownel upon in
view Of the fact that their trains are al
ways behind.


II occurred to scholar while writing
n composition to remark that ian OK
does not taste as good as an oyster, but it
can run faster


An exchange says: Keep an eye out
for the early resumption Of payment.
Both Of our eyes are already out looking
for il, and SO are our elbows


A western paper says Of the air, in il
relations to man ut kisses and blesses
hin. bot will not obey lam" Dobbs says
that description suits his wife exactly.


six feet in his bootsl" exclaimed Mrs.
Beeswaxl what will the impudence OF
this world come 10. | wonder! Why,
they might as well tell me tha, the man
had six heads in his hat


Talk about the severe mental labor
Of men" say Betha, it takes more hard
study to discover the front Of IA new
spring hat than would win case in the
Supreme Court against 0 railroad.


The diaerancc between having a tooth
properly drawn by professional surgeon
and having it knocked out miscellaneous.
ly by fall upon the pavement, is only a
slight verbal distinction-one is dental
and the other incidental.


A graveyard near Bangor has mon
umcnt whth the following inscriptions
the first verse of which was written by
the wife before her death, and the second
by the husband after he had married
again -


"weep not for me, my dearest dear.
an not dead, but sleeping here;
Repent, my love, before you die.
For you must come and sleep with L.


IL will not weep, my dearest life,
For have got another wife:


I cannot come and sleep with thee,
Tor must go and sleep with sHr'
Year: 1874

The Northern Presbyterian Assembly
at St. Louis, did not pass the rule Of to-
tal abstinence for the members Of their
church. Such q rule would cut or a
very large number of communicants
from the roll Of membership, and yet
We have an idea that il would have been
better for the church.
Year: 1874

The enterprise of Americans is admitted
1t is, however, an undcniable fact that our
countrymen exert themselves to the utmost
to acquire great wealth, and, even after
having secured a competency sufficient TO
enable them to live comfortably. their in
satiable greed impels them to enter again
into the whirl of business in order to ac-
cumulate more gold. UnluckiIy, wealth
frequently gives men power and temporary
rcnown-which should only be attainabe
by dint of perseverance directed toward
some noble object. 1t should be more fully
appreciated that riches are tlcc;ing: that a
person may he living in opulencc one day.
and not knowing where to find morscl OF
bread on the morrow. Sterling attributes
Of character. genius and talent, on the other
hand, are enduring, AID ought to he courtcd
and sought for more than mere worldly
means.


The world ha. seen many rich men ; but
are they remembered? Have they be-
queathcd their name to poster:y? 1t is only
whilst they live that they are oitentimeS un-
duly regarded with favor. Now take the
men who have distinguished themselves in
the paths Of litcrAturc-tho-e who have
made themselves ilustriou> in the field of
art and science The memories of such re-
main ycrdant in the heart of the nation,
what they have accomplished lives after
them. accruing to the benefit and advance
mcnt of many future generations.


1t is the wish and ambition of most of us
to acquire fame whic! shall endure many
years after we have departed hence. Bear
in mind that it will never come to pass
if We satisfy ourselves with increasing our
store of precious metals. This does not
constitute true merit and claim on the
regard of mankind.


But, far be it from us to maintain that
the possession Of wealth may not be the
means of investing mon with the affections
OF nations. IT a man, actuated by philan-
,hrophic notions, distribute money to allcvi-
ate the SuticringS of the poor and to soften
the pangs Of the distressed ones, he has
thereby earned the gratitude of all classes.
and deserve. to have his name handed down
from generation to generation. There arc,
however, very few real philanthropists, as
nearly all designated as such usually retain
the bencff Of doing good action to them
selves, and manage to live Sumptuously. 1t
is really pity SO much talent is employed
in the never ending rush after money. There
are so many better things to be fulfilled, so
many grauder ends to be attained
Year: 1874

MAlNrAINlNG FERTILlrY.-Whcn a nur>
seryman, florist, or gardener commences
operations his first thought is about manure.
If he has the inintcSt idea of hi, business
He knows. as if by instinct, that he cannot
afford to Plant even Il quarter o! an acre un-
less he has plenty Of manure, and without
it he would not plant ut all. Nor viii such
manure as comes from stables and which
farmers call good enough. answer his pur-
pose 1T all and if he could get no other ho
would not plant. he knows better. What
he does is to get his manure on hand when
he goes to work at it. If too drv, he vets
it; and it is iorkcd over aS often as nccc>-
>ary, AND perhaps mixed with muck or even
with So.i that it may, after due tine, BE- de-
composed. Generally the stock of manure
to be used next year is going through
course of preparation this year. But
farmer has no need Of being So particular.
He can plow over half creation, scatter III
little straw manure, which the wind may
blow or the rain wash away, and workin,
lG hours a day by the u-c of main strength,
he will get little more than his seed. If
every flrmcr would prepare only an acre Of
his land as gardener docs his, the worth
of the country would be increased hundreds
of millions Of dollars every year. Is there
any use of talking. or is there not
Year: 1874

y FCW day >iuce an elderly gentleman in
Sacramento. who had got out Of ba>nc~ and
considered that he was too advanced in age
to do hard work. concu!cd that he would
start Il grocery store. He secured stock
Of good, and Il few days since, while pre-
cludrd that he would tap the kegs Of beer
left ON the prcyious day. \ friend who was
present, seeing him approaching one of the
keys with an augcr, iul"ircl what he was
going to do and learned that he intended
''to tap that beer" The quc>tioncr sug-
gc>tcd that the proper way was to place the
faucet in position, and drive in the cork
which the revenue stamp covered, but the
the best, and forthwith forced 4 hole through
TIE top Of the keg. OF coarse the beer as
cendrd like a fountain as he withdrew the
anger, and he cn!rayorcd to suppress it by
putting his hand oyer the hole, and failing
in this, By inserting his finger; as last re-
sort he sat down upon it, calling loudly for
some one t. hand him Il faucet bat mean
while the beer had forced its way through
his pants, climbing upward, and was oozing
ont cyerywherc-emcrging from his waist


band and even at hi4 shirt color, and the
bystandclS were laughing 50 hard that they
Were unable to do anything to relieve him.
even if they had dared to venture within
the area of beer spray. 1t was not until


every drop of liquid had left the keg that
the old gentleman felt warranted in getting
Year: 1874

to issue large and attractive cards, and spend
three or four dollars per week in the "Price
Currents" which they send to some of the
small growers, whose Acquaintance they have
formed from cards or stencils on crates re-
celved by the regular commission houses. 1t
costs not more than 81 to send price current
for whole year to such grower, and when
ever that grower reciprocates that courtesy by
sending him some fruit to sell, he either con-
hscates 1t at once or makes extraordinarily large
returns, so as to induce further shipment, and
when the shark thinks he has got enough of
the victim s fruit to satisfy his pressing wants
he conhscates it, and either say nothing at all
about 1t or says some one to whom he sold it
did not pay for it. But most frequently he
alleges that it came in such bad order that it
did not bring the cost of freights. Another
plan Is to send decOy, and, by making uni
tormly large returns to him, induces others to
try, and when, in the height of the season, q
good sum of money is in the hands of the re-
ceiver, the victim has his eyes opened to the
fact that he is fish caught by cunning fish
erman. Sometimes firms, the names of whic /
appering on ther business cards are fictitious
receive thousands OF dollars worth of fruit anC
when, at the end of the season, the victim
comes to look up his commission firm he finds


to his surprise and disgust, that their i


neither number nor name where the card call


for. Most generally the victims are 80 poo


that they cannot look for the denquents, ant


all the sympathy they get from the unbitten is


ell l told you how it would he. i"
Year: 1874

WILD GOOSE SHoOTING.-The season for
wild goose shooting on Long Island has COM
menced. As the birds are very shy, it requires
a good deal of skill on the part Of the sports
man to come near enough for shot The
method generally employed is to obtain from
fifteen to twenty wild geese, by winging"
them on their passage north or south-ths
old. fashioned stoolers being regarded as
entirely behind the age. These are tanned, SO
that they can be e lined" to stakes, when they
are taken to the bars where the wild geese
usually stop to feed, and fastened to stakes
put down in the sand out of sight, while the
gunner cOnceals himself in box sunk in the
sand, and partially covered By sea weed or
meadow grass. When hocks of wild geese are
passing these partially tanned ones will call
them, and usually they will fly near by, or
alight, when the gunner rises and shoots.
Experts have killed as many as twenty-five at
a shot The focks of tame geese are regarded
as very valuable.
Year: 1874

loo low an estimate is apt to be set on the
domestic value OF newspapers. After reading
them, and putting ourselves, through their
agency, in mental correspondence with the
world, they are thrown aside and forgotten.
But to suppose their usefulness bounded by
their news columns and the waste-bag, is a
thriftless mistake.


In the first place, there are the household
recipes to be found in stray corners, often ex-
cellent and deserving refuge on the fly leaf
of the family cook book. Then come the pretty
verses, the strange and drell stories the brief
biographies and "reminiscences which, pasted
| in a scrap. book, are a soure Of never ending


pleasure, not only those who do not care for


richer intellectual food, but to those who have


only odd minutes for readiHg.


Notwithstanding the squibs jocular journal
| lists have penned on the use of newspapers for


bedclothing, we know from experience that


they are not to be despised. They may not be


as comfortable as your blankets, but certainly
they keep out the cold. Two thicknesses of


papers are better than pair of blankets; and


in the case of persons who dislike the weight


of many bedclothes they are invaluable A


spread made of double layer of papers be-


tween covering OF cOlicO or chntz, is desira-


bic in every household. The papers should be


tacked together with thread, and also basted
to the covering, to keep them from slipping.





rustling; but if soft papers be chosen the
! noise will not be annoying, especially should
. the spread be laid between blanket and the
counterpane.


AS protection to plants against cold, both
in and out of doors, nothing is better. If
z newspapers are pinned up over night at q
| window between pots and glass, the flower:
will not only not be frozen, but they will not
a even get chilled, as they are SO liable to be-
In the same way if taken to cover garden
Q beds on the frosty nights of early autumn, you
o may allow the plants to remain safely out
a doors some time later than is common.
/ One of the oldest services to put journals TO
# is the keeping of ice in summer. An ingeni
e Gus housekeeper recently discovered that he
is daily lump Of ice would last nearly twice a
! long when wrapped in newspapers and placed
= in any kind Of covered bsx, as when trusted
d solely to a refrigerator, This is very convent
\ ent, since it is possible to the best and cheap
e est refrigerator constantly at hand.
1t To polish all kinds of glass after washing
1t except table glass, no cloth or flannel is half 8
1t good as a newspaper; aud for baker dOzel
/. of other uses, quite foreign to its primal puI
l. pose, it is without rival.
Year: 1874

A Nebraska journal invitingly says: who
says farmers cannot get rich in this State
Fifteen years ago young man came to this
State without a dollar in the world. Last
week he went out of the State, carrying with
him the sum of one dollar and thirty eight
cents, the savings Of fifteen years Of frugal
life. Come West, young man, come West.
Year: 1874

"Well, neighbor what is the most Chris
tian news this morning?' said gentleman to
a friend. u have just bought barrel of
-four for poor woman Just like you
Who is it you have made happy with your
charity this time" My wife.
Year: 1874

At Brooklyn wedding, among the presents
ostentatiousy displayed, was one-hundred-
dollar bill, u present from the doting father to
the darling daughter. After the guests had
departed, the old man coolly rolled up the bill
and put it in his vest pocket, and that was the
end of it
Year: 1874

Seine men never lose their presence of mind.
In Milwaukee last week a man threw his
mother-in law out of window in the fifth
story of burning building, and carried a
feather bed down stairs in his arms.
Year: 1874

It is pleasant to see young creature come
into a horse. car, seat herself tor admiration,
look happy for five minutes, and then wake up
to the dismal consciousness that there Is rip
in the middle finger of her right glove.
Year: 1874

I. De VIII Ialmage'


AS long as you can make
drinking respectable, drinking
customs will prevail and the
ploughshars oil death, drawn by
terrible disaster, will 60 on
turning up this whole CONT
nent, from end to end, with
the long, deep, awful furrow OF
drunkards' graves.


oh! how this rum fieDd
would like to 90 and hang up a
skeleton in your beautiful
home, so that when you open,
ed the front door to go in, you
would see it in the hall, and
when you bat at your table,
you would see 1t hanging from
The wall; and as you opened
your bedroom door, you would
lind it stretched upon your pill
low; and waking at night, you
YOU Id feel it's cold hand passing
over your face and pinching al
your heart.


There is no home 80 beauti.
ful but may be devastated by
the awful curse. 1t throws its
jargon INTO the sweetest har'
mony. What was ii that ST.
fenced Sheridan's voice and
shattered the golden scepter
with which he swayed parlla-
ments and courtss


What foul spirit turned the
sweet rythm of Robert Bnrns
into a tuneless babbles What
brought down the majestic
form of one who awed the
American Senate with elo
uuence, and after awhile car
ri,d him home dead drunk
from the offi'e of the Secretary
OF Slate9 What was it that
swamped the noble spirit of
one of the heroes Of the last
war; until one night in drum
ken fit, he reeled from the deck
of a Western steamer and was
dro wned9 There was one
whose voice we all loved to
hear. He was one of the most
classic orators of tine country.
People wondered whv a man Of
so pure heart and so excel.
lent a lite, should have such a
sad countenance always. They
knew not that his wife was a
sOt.
Year: 1874

The excessive use OF cold
water during the sweliering
heat of summer, often results
in serious and alarming i'll


ness. 1t is therefore advisable
that some be 7erages should be
substituted for it, of which
those oppressed can parlake
with safety. For this purpose
] am aware of no better or
more refreshing drink than the
following: Take of the best
white Jamaica ginger root,care.
fully bruised, two ounces;
water, SIX quarts, TO be boiled
Ior about five minutes, then
strain; TO the strained liquor
add one pound OF sugar, and
again place it over the fire;
keep it well stirred till the su-
gar is perfectly dlssol we'd, and
then pour it into an earthen
vessel, into which you have
previously put two drachms of
tartaric acid, and the rind of
one lemon, and let it remain
ill the heat is reduced to a
lukewarm temperature; then
add a teaspoonful OF yeast,
stirring them we'll together,
and botlle Tor use. TIE corks
must be well secured. The
drink will be IN high perfection
in tour or. five days. This is a
very refreshing and wholesome
beverage, and one which may
be partaken of without any
unpleasant results, even in the
hottest weather. '
Year: 1874

Glycerine aud lemon Juice
will aid in removing tan from
the face. 80


Rheumatism and gout can be
cured by the free use of aspar.
agus. ~"


Cold in the head can be cur.
ed by inhaling hartshorn seven
or eight times in five mintes.


Cayenne pepper is death to
bed bugs. Dust the bedsteads,
crevices, well with the condi.
ment.


To sweeten q tainted meat
barrel, after washing AMI scald-
ing to remove grease, fill with
fresh soil and let 1t remain a
week or ten days. i.g


To clean black silk cashmere
or alpaca, take a teaspoonful
of borax to a quart Of tepid
water and apply with a black
woolen rag or Rail brushs


1t is said that the fumes Of
sugar snnffed up the nose will
cure ordinary cases Of neural
gla. Put a small quantity Of
sugar on a hot shovel aud try
it.


The best thing for cleaning
tinware is common soda
Dampen a cloth and dip in the
soda, and rub the ware briskly,
after Which wipe dry. Any
biackene1 or dirty ware can be
made to look as well as. new.
Here is a china cement
Take a thick solution of gum
arabic dissolved In soft water)
and stir in plaster of Paris till
OF the consistently of thick
cream; with a brush spread it
neatly on the broken edges
ana stick them together.
Year: 1874

1 know little boy,


And I've often heard 1t said
That lie never was so tired
That he wished to go to bed.
Though he scarcely can hold up
His drowsy little head,
Yet this very foolish boy


Can not bear to go to bed.
When the big. golden sun


Has laid down to sleep;
When the lambs every one


Are lying by the sheep;
When underneath Its wing


Every chick takes Its head,
Still this odd little boy


Does not want to go to bed.
Year: 1874

0ONAO'y A"S SSSNN y AN' -
able opinion of a project which
lacks neither grandeur nor
plausibility. II is nothing less
than the forming Of an Inland
sea to the south of the French
colony Of Algeria.


There are in Northern Afri-
ca lakes known by the name
Of the chotts, which run dry
at certain periods OF the year.
A chain OF these chotts, the
first OF which is only separated
from The Mediterranean by
sandy downs, extends as far as
Biskra to the south of Constan-
tine. The last of the chain
being twenty seven metres be-
low the level of the sea, it is
thought feasible, by cutting
through the sand above the
first chott, to admit the waters
of the Mediterranean to this
series of lakes, and thus form
a salt water lake at the s0nth-
ern extremity OF the chain, i'm
portant enough to admit OF the
creation of seaports. . "From
these ad d5Snced posts" says the
author of the report on this
scheme, 1--WE should watch the
nomadic tribes OF The South
The numerous and rich GASES
of the Souf aud the Quad, now
only nominally subject to US,
would tall completely into our
power. Our colonization would
exl end 10 the south of ConStan
tine as surely as tits establish
ed on the Mediterranean coast
A benefcient change of eli
mate Is also not the least OF
the advantage promised by
this bold scheme, lie first step
to The realization OF which has
already been taken, the Bey ol
Tunls having been. requested
by the society to allow a sur
vey OF the country 10 be made.


Concerning SunstrOkes.


The season is now at hand
when divers people will be vol
unteering Information as TO
how sunstroke may be avoided.
Some OF the ideas expressed
are quite amusing, If not useful,
as witness the following:
About year since | saw in a
newspaper rn account of case
OF sunslroke, written by the
party himself. After suffering
a long time, and having to a
considerable degree recovered
he experienced suffering even
rom the rays of the moon.
This led him to the reflection
that 1t was not altogether the
heat OF the sun that produced
prOstration. After much re-.
search he discovered that the
injury came from the chemical
ray, and not from The heat ray.
He was guided 10 this by the
fact that a photograph could
not be taken through hollow
glass. Accordl Ugly he lined
his hat with two linin gs- one
OF orange yellow TO arrest the
chemical ray, and one OF green
10 arrest The heat ray. Thus
prepared he went where the
rays of the sun were he most
in ense with perfect lmpunily.
1t is we'll known that negro
Is seldom sunstruck. The col
or OF his skin over the skull
being OF an orange yellow may
assist in accounting Tor the fact.
I practiced upon this sugges
tion last summer, lined my hat
with green and orange paper
and had confidence In the truth
Of the theory to neglect my
um mbrelIa which | had never
done before. l mentioned this
TO many, who tried it also, and
in many cases that came under
my observation, they uniform
ly asserted that the oppressive
heat of the sun upon the head
was much relieved.
Year: 1874

NoTHING so vexes physician
as to be sent for in great haste
and find little or nothing the
matter with the patient, An
eminent English surgeon was
once sent for by q gentleman
who had received a slight
wound. On his arrival he sent
his servant back In great haste
to get a. certain kind of plaster.
The patient turning pale, said: {:


"Slr, ! hope there is no danger" F"


"Indeed there is" answered
the surgeon, "for if the fellow
doesn't run like a race horse,
the wound will be healed be-
fore he can possibly get back" +"
Year: 1874

GRAND GERMAN BALL.-The Germanla
Mannerehor of this city will give ball at
the New Market Hotel on Monday evening
next. The occasion will doubtless be a most
enjoyable one, as the Germanias are noted
for the success attending their sociaoles.
The Society embraces in its membership
some of our leading German citizens.
Year: 1874

again about 0, call for whiskey hot, cigar
and slippers. Pull off your boots and
mako yourself comfortable by the FIRE.
Have another whiskey hot. Ring the bell
for your candle and inquire number of
your room. Retire to bed about IL o'clock,
taking care to order breakfast for 0, with
ham or eggs or nice chop, etc. After
breakfast take walk, and so on as before.
r. S.-The bag is the main point. 1t may
serve you for week 1t has served me
eight days; but you must watch we'll the
people whom you are with. You oan al
ways tell when they think you have stayed
long enough. Sometimes they will ask If
1t is convenient for you to settle your
BILL" II so, say "Of course IL IL. am
just going TO the Post ONCE for a letter,
Get my bill made out and will settle 10
when 1 come back" or course, take care
not to return for your bag, and be careful
to put your comb and brush in your pock-
ct every morning, as you cannot tell what
may happen during the day, and you want
to be off in a hurry but, above all, keep a
bold face on IL. Then buy another bag, and
proceed on your journey. You need never
fear getting nights lodging g If you possess
a bag, and if you don't happen to have one,
don't despair, but go straight in and ask
for a bed they will not refuse. Order
supper and break fast and such like. After
break fast you can say : "Can have the
bed again, tonight, as don't think shall
be able to do my business, to-dayY
have stayed three days and nights when I
haven't had a bag-when 1 had but one
half-penny to bless myself with. But then
you will say what are you going TO do for
bag2 Well, there are lots Of bags at these
hotels help yourself 10 one when you de-
part, and you are all right again. 1t is
month, tonight, since had about one half
penny left and no bag, and tonight, the
10th Of January, I have one half-penny in
my pocket and bag to be going on with,
living like fighting cock and seeing al
most all the towns in England.


Yours, etc., R.J.