Year: 1877

better rendering Soss IN fSovioenes ana keep your
feet dry"


In great city like this how many lives there are
which


Like ships that sailed for sunny isles,


But never came TO shore


There Ia nothing IN the world more useless than
gilt edged Bible which has been bought show and
NO; tor


When two angry men call each other tools the
chances that they are both speaking the truth
It tis great deal easier look your neighbor's
character and examine 1t critically than do the same
thing with your own character.
The logical faculty q miracle II can prove any
thing 10 be true which any ono thinks ought TO be
true. In politics ana In religion It runs parallel with
our prejudices There are . great many opinions
which are based on the close and conclusive logical
reasoning OF which the following 10 example,


II the man who turnips cries.


Cry not when his father dies,


Then It's plain that he would rather
Have turnip than his ather.


when . boy is al his pranks. or. in other words,
when he is genuinely boyish, It Is very hard tor the
rheumatic father to remember that In tho misty past
he was himself boy, and SO be patient II is easy
enough to say petuiantly that you never behaved
when you young, but the trnth is you have con-
venently forgotten all about IT, St confess, II Is
always easy TO bear with the practical jokes OF
young fellow who Is bubbling with animal spirits
We can't help just single throb Of sympathy with
the victim OF the following A man who was afraid
Of earthquake-that is, afraid 1t would shake HIS
home to pieces-sent his boys down 10 friends to
remain until the Danger had passed In the course Of
week he got letter TO this afect-"Pease take tne
boys home and send down the earthquake instead.


1t very pleasan. and profitable goes through
lie look for enjoy those little sparkles Of fun
and wit which easily found II you look for them
| Smiles make life happier and our burdens lighter
Never cry until you are compelled 10. and even then
| the tmo will como soon enough We havo enjoyed
this bit Of experience every time It has como to mind.
A CLERK, to u young lady from the country who has
buntiy asked for stockings instead OF hose, ''what
number do you woar, Miss?" She looked at him
instant with ineGable and shon replied, 81
two, sir. Do you think am q centipedei"
| We have great sympathy for clergyman who onl-
ciates the funeral Of wealthy man who Is little
.'oG color" Not to tell the truth cowardly.
and to toll Il IL There IL In the
sneor of Wit who said, "Every rich goes TO
heaven. II you judge by what is said At his
funeral" We hardly conceive OF a more ridicu-
lous embarrassing situation than ths:-
| An elegant drawiog room, hlled with the rca-
tives OF the departed and building ar castlcs
| on the strength Of hts will tho afflicted
family In front chamber and the minister stand
Ing half way up stairs, staring At white WALL and
pected speak that all In the house, up and down
stairs hoar, about the dead man as one Of the
saints OF the earth, when everybody knows that he
Just missed being everything that bid. Poor
minister's they do get enough for the hard
work they have TO do.


Is not this little strongf Dr.. Bellows thanked God
tho other night that Russian guns English swords
American powder are likely TO blot out the Turkish
empire. He is in this dangerous state Of excitement
because some Turks have killed some Christians
That certainly In bad, but docs It mend for
some Christians kill Turks? The Doctor
to think that be is living in tent Sina.
''put up your sword In Its place." Is tho command
II to pray about this matter, let pray
for arbitration, not for murder.


We feared that ME- Vanderbilt would not be allowed
to.lie quiet in his grave. He had hardly begun hts
journey the other side before certain Spiritual
diums began to tap for him to back at and
tell them how be iet and what he saw or course ho
Loft everything in order TO rap with his spiritual
knuckles on some medium . table When asked how
he was getting he intmated that although he left


good deal Of money no nevertheless glad to
TO the other side, as there certain advantages
there which he could not enjoy here When qucs-
toned closely be said that he "coud carry
his plans better since he had nothing TO hamper him."
Plans. what planss Have they Celestial Central
Railroad, or lntcrstelar Rapid Transit. or does
he contemplate running Charon into bankruptcy
by moro commodious ferryboals the River Styxs
What hampered him when he was on the earths
What plans has he that be wanted to carry out and
couldn'ts We do wish that medium would have
other mild attack OF catalepsy and explain oil
Mr.. Moody is having season OF triumph in Boston
The granite walls Of the citys doubt crumbing be-
fore she trumpet tones OF the great evangelist We
have been wondering II anything resist Moody and
Sankey but TO the conclusion that Boston was
only place the continent that had enough TO
cool Of the singer tho preacher IT. however Bos-
,or;oo Dor
Of German ratonalism is subdued and sing Hold
the Fort, then in1dey hasn't the CONT
nent to hide Its diminished head In, and may well
say, did Julian just before no died, "Gaean thou
hast conquered" and gvo up the ghost


Town people can learn by reading, but others be
taught only by hard experience. Three men were
standing by buzz which going SO rapidly
that II didn't seem to be going at all Number said
"That saw is going very fast" Number two accepted
the statement the authority of his friend and was
satisfied. Number three wanted to for himself Ho
was not Of those people who receive anything at
second hand. He wouldn't believe anything until he
had proved for himself. SO he hold of tho saw
and In about two seconds he saw that the saw had
nearly sawed his Annd of. lie afterwards confessed
that cheaper In the long TO take things
fath that tho spirit Of investigation may some
times be carried too far As illustration OF this he
held up his stump with the remark that II took just
about two seconds 10 settle the question whether tho
going not, but that 1t nearly four
months before he got his hand out OF sling even
then Il wasn't worth uch


Another clerical quarrel Nothing dsprove
Christianity; but # anything could 1t would be the
hot cheeks and hotter words and sngriy flashing eyos
Of a couple OF gentlemen who white necktics
and preach from the text, LET brothorly love con-
tinue" Mr. Sweetscr shakes his nst In Mr. McCarthys
face, and Mr.. Mccarthy doubles up the thunderbolts
oil tho law ana hurls them at his antag.
onist They arc not ns you might suppose.
two little boys at play, who In a icvor OF
excitement scratch each other and then amicably go
with the game. They not two dops or cats who
have como the same bono and very naturally
use their claws and teeth as a Jury OF arbitration