Year: 1878




Utahlizing the female sex.


In China they spend $150,000,00O
a year In worshiping their ancestors.


A man without money is poor, but
q man with nothing but money is
poorer.


Men generally make way for him
who is determined to push boldly
past them.


Grapple with opportunity, and as
YOU can't know when opportunity will
come, keep your grappling-iron al
ways ready.


Good temper is like sunny day,
it sheds brightness over everything,
Il is the sweetner of toll and soother
of disquiet.


Said he-.Matilda, YOU are my
dearest duck" Said she-"Agusta.
you are trying to stuff me-" She
was too sage for hin.


The American who thinks he
knows French has only to reach
Paris to find out that he doesn't
even speak good English.


The proper thing to do when your
horse is running away is to hold fast
to your seat and say your prayers.
Anyhow, hold fast to your seat.


A woman may not be able to sharp
en- pencil or throw stones at hen,
but she can pack more articles into
a trunk thaA man can In one-horse
wagon.


Old bachelors and old maids,
though not always happy them
selves, have been generous in refrain
ing from bringing misery to their
fellows.


Wink ut small injuries rather than
avenge them. If, to destroy single
bee, you throw down the hive, in
stead of one enemy, you have
thousand.


The man who il curious to know
how the world can get along with
out him can find out by sticking a
cambric needle into mill-pond and
then Withdrawing it and looking at
the hole!


Fruit frappe: Line a mold with
vanilla ice cream, fill the center with
fresh berries or fruit in slices, cover
with ice cream, and set in freezer
for an hour. The fruit must be
frozen.


Stanley is an awful liar. In one OF
his letters about Central Africa he
speaks about ''the lions stalking in
the hills" He'll tell US next that
the elephants can sing and chew
tobacco.


A St. Louis paper says "that pretty
Maiden teacher ought to 60 to Chi
csgo, where all the schoolmarms are
dried-up old deformities with feet
the size of q blackboard and the
shape Of turnip."


"why are men of genius SO often
bachelorsf" asked a lady at party.
As genius Is merely another name
for excellent common sense, any
answer is apt to make the married
man look bad by contrast.


A Mormon Elder ran away from
. New Haven Hotel the other day,
leaving behind him a travelling. bag,
which the landlord seized. It con.
tained broken shaving mug, a pair
OF gum shoes, two chest protectors,
and treatise on salvation.


"Sall," cried q girl looking out OF
the upper window of . small grocery
and addressing another girl who was
trying to enter at the front door,
"we've all been to camp meetin' and
got converted; SO when you want
milk on Sunday, you'll have to
come around to the back door"


Bryant's precocity il said to have
resulted In part from an abnormal
cerebral development which made
the infant poet the joke OF the town.
His father adopted the novel method
Of having William ducked every
morning In spring near the house,
with such happy results that the
head regained its natural size, and
its owner enjoyed exceptionally good
health through life.


The best receipt we know, if you
want to be miserable. is to think
about yourself, how much you have
lost, how much you have not made,
and the poor prospect for the future.
A brave man with soul in him gets
out OF such pitful ruts and laughs at
encouragement, rolls up his sleeves,
whistles and sings, and makes the
bset Of life.