Year: 1866

By MRS. GEORGE WASHINGTON wYLLYs.


AS if all women didn't talk l'' says the
grumbling philosopher.


All women do not talk, sir, in spite of your
convictions on the subject They chatter, they
gossip; they string together words and senten-
ces innumerable on the slenderest possible chain
of an idea they rattle and run on but there
is not one woman in ten who talks. Not that
talking is one of the lost arts we should rather
class it among the arts that have never been
found 1t is altogether mistaken idea that
everybody knows how to talk Dictionary words
and far-fetched expressions do not make good
talker. Mrs. So and So talks like a book, - is
a very common expression but you may OBJ
serve whenever Mrs So and So enters room,
| very general edging away-an expression of
apprehension disposition to shrink from her
immediate neghborhood. No doubt she talks
like book; but nobody cares to have book,
in human binding, follow them around and per-
secute them with unsolicited chapters We ought
TO have asylums for people who have such rab-
id determination to talk at everybody
But born talkers-how few there are People
whose words bring up little feeting pictures in
your mind, whose adjectives are always express
sive, whose descriptions are like clear photo
graphs, whose ready ideas clothe themselves in
words just as naturally as birds settle down into
their nests, are they not rare as black swans
And of the few, four out of six are women
We hear good deal of satire about wo-
mems gossip" Wherein, may we venture to
ask, does it differ from mems gossip Is it any
less cenSurable to talk of the color of horse than
the color of a dress Is Jones' folly in mortgag-
ing his place to buy petroleum shares a more al
lowable topic of discussion than Mrs. Jones' in
different housekeeping and rebellious servants
Half the women's gossip-we may as well be
honest and say two-thirds of tit is only Sc
cond-handed, gathered from the sublime lips of
their husbands q Women will talk.n Yes
and men will listen, and laugh and enjoy the
racy malice and highly seasoned comments, and
then, ungrateful wretches turn round and sneer
at " woman's gossip p Fair play, gentlemen,
say we. If you don't like it. why do you expect
il every evening with your slippers and your
tea2 Why do you assume that injured air. and
say, " Well, guess I'll 90 round to the theatre
its so stupid at home V' when the spicy chal-
ice is not filled for your delectation


After all, what a wide difference there is be-
tween gossip and tattle Gossip, managed by
skillful tongue a woman's of course-male goS-
sips are below scorn Uade Boswell, Walpole,
and Jenkins of the New York press, is just
species Of parlor and kitchen history-a resume
of everyday events. When it verges on what
Mrs. This said and Miss That did, and the person
al affairs of the Tother family, it becomes tattle
One is charming and interesting-the other,
mere spite, measured off into syllableS and SEN
tences


The chief difficulty is in knowing how far to
go, and when to stop Unfortunately, there are
no gates or hedges or fences laid down on the
wide expanse over which a woman's tongue
travels. People who talk merely for the sake of
talking, can not very well avoid saying great
many foolish things We can't talk forever
about the weather, and the mud, and the last
lecture, and the next party we become person
al almost before we know it. And everybody
must be aware how very difficult it is to turn
conversation out of personal channel into any
other under the sun How terribly aggravating
it is to get people fairly chatting, well out of the
dangerous shoal of personality, 10 congratulate
yourself on the successful navigation of Scylla
and Chary bdis, and then to hear some old lady,
whose pertinacity is a matter beyond question,
say, But to come back to Mr.. A. and Miss B. ~


Oh meek Moses patient Job we need all
your bright examples TO keep US from the depths
Of despair when that old lady speaks up so dis
tinctly


Then what are we to talk about Why, any
thing-everyt thing. Do you ever say to yourself,
" What am to think about?" Not at all -
thoughts come dancing through your mind like
an April rivulet you are never at a loss for un-
SpOheu COHf6IsdLlOH just luluh dlOuu ! fDul


can not find words to express all those fancies.
That is your own fault Here are your ready
thoughts on one side and here, on the other,
is the whole glorious vocabulary of the English
language You might as well say you can not
breathe with good pair Of lungs and plenty of
air


We know women who set little traps about
their rooms to catch conversation: vases of flow
ers-albums of photographs views-the latest
published books-shells, and sea- moses and Gu
rious dried ferns. And they are almost always
successful, too, these skillfully baited traps


Women who talk may be subdivided into any
quantity Of classes the old ladies who assert
things as if they were reading the Ten Command
ments-the women who tell things by detail,
la cookery-book receipts-the girls who model
their nyersation after the last hero of the last
sensation novel-the girls who think it " cum
ming" to intersperSe their sentences with the
slang you hear at every street corner-the females
who keep you standing on the steps while they
go into all the particulars of their family affairs
the women who talk round and round sub
ject in concentric circles until they fairly make
your head swim-in fact we might go on for
half a dozen columns instancing the various ex-
amples of the class female-talker ! May we not
hope for an Improvement


If would only espouse the cause of the
plaintiff in the everlasting case of Conversation
VerSus Slander-ifwe would only remember that
Things, not People, bear discussion best, how
much pleasanter would be the task of listening
to women who PhrenologicdI Journal.