Year: 1875

Mark Twain's Advice on Domestic


Discipline.


According to my observation, the
most difficult thing to bring up a child
is in the morning. You can some
times, though seldom, bring them up
in the morning by yelling at them,
but the effectiveness Of the process
diminishes with its repetition, even
when not entirely neutralized by the
children's trick of stopping their ears
with the bed-clothes. The only
prompt, effective and absolute method
is to bring them up by the hair If
your child has good healthy scalp,
without any tendency to premature
badness, this method will work with
the most gratifying efficiency. Try
it about once a week, and you will
be surprised to observe how it's III
fuence extends through the six days,
inspiring your children with the live
hest possible interest in the respond
ent pageantry of surprise. The pull
ing up of darling child by the halr
requires the exercise of energy and
firmness; but no atfectionate parent
will hesitate at the little sacrifice of
this kind for the welfare of his off:
spring.


Nothing can be more fatal to your
discipline than to allow your children
to contradict You. If you happen to
be betrayed INTO any misstatement or
exaggeration In their presence, don't
permit them to correct you. Right
or wrong, you must obstinately in
sist on your own infallibility and
promptly suppress all opposition,
with force if need be. The moment
you permit them to doubt your un-
erring wisdom you will begin to for
felt their respect and pander to their
conccit. There can be no sadder
spectacle than parent surrounded
by olive branches who think that they
know more than he does. l wildly
remember how my father-who was
one of the most rigid and successful
of disciplinarians-quelled the aspir-
ing egotism that prompted me to cor
rect his careless remark (when he
was reckoninga problem in shillings)
that five times twelve was siXty-two
and half. $780," said he, looking
over his spectacles and surveying ME
grimly, eye think ye know more'n
your father, hey? Come ere to me"
His invitation was too pressing to be
declined, and for a few excrutiating
moments | rcposcd in bitter humilia-
ton across his left knee, with my
neck in the embrace of his left arm.


I didn't see him demonstrate his
mathematical accuracy with the palm
of his right hand on the largest patch
Oh my trowsers, but l felt that the old
man was right; and when after com
pletely eradicating my faith in the
multiplication table, he asked me
how much five time twelve was. |
insisted, with tears in my eyes, that
it was sixty-two and a half. "That's
right" said he. 'Tll learn you to
respect your father if l have to thrash
We twelve times n day. Now go'n
water them horses,n be lively toon'
The old gentleman didn't permit my
respect for him to wane much until
the intlammatory rheumatism disa-
bled him, and even then ne continued
to inspire me with awe until | was
thoroughly convinced that his disa-
bility was permanent.


! Unquestioning obedience is the
crowning grace of childhood. When
you tell your child to do anything
and he stops to enquire why, it is ad-
yisable tokindly but firmly fetch him
IA rap across the ear and inform him
''That's why" He will soon get in
the way of starting with charming
aIacrity at the word of command.


One of the most inveteratc annoy
ing traits of children is inquisitive-
ness. If you are inconsiderate
enough to attempt to satisfy their
omnivorous curiosity, you may as
prepare to abdicatc, for you will be
nonplussed by their questions dozen
times day, and your weak sagacity
will be hopelessly compromised. An
average child is a magazine of uncon-
querable and disconnected conun-
drums. You cannot expect children
to have much reverancc for parent
whose Ignorance they can't expose
twice out of three times trying. 1t
is well enough to answer an easy
question now and then, just to con-
vince them that you can when you
choose; but when they come at you
with poster, tell them: ''Never
minu!" or "Shut up" and then they
will grow up Independent and self
reliant, and restrained only by vener-
alton from splitting your head open
to find out how it holds SO much
information without letting more out
of it.


1t would be diflicult-very difficult
to estimate the beneficial effect that
would be entitled upon their children
if parents generally would adopt the