Year: 1874

-


, (From the Utica IN. W Herald.)


The annual ceremony of taking III
whipping, and putting down carpet
T is almost upon us. 1t is one of th
ills which flesh is heir to, and canno
! be avoided. You go home som
! pleasant spring day, at peace with tn
world, and fnd the baby with
clean face and get your favorite pud
! ding for dinner. Then your wifi
tells you how much younger you ar
looking, and says she really hope
she can turn that walking dress sh
wore last fall, and save the expens,
of new suit. and then she asks yol
ifyou can't just help her about taking


up the carpet. fyou are fool, yol
tell her of course you can, just a.


well as not. Then she gets ssucel
for the tacks, and stands and holds it
and then you get the claw and gC


down on your knees, and begin tC
help her. You feel quite economical


about the first three tacks, and take


them out carefully and put them in


the sancer. Your wife is good about


holding the saucer. and begniles you


with an interesting story about how


your neighbor's little boy is not ex


pected to live till morning. Then


you come to the tack with crooked


head, and you get the claw under it


and the head comes off, snd as it


won't do to leave the tack in the floor,


because it will tear the carpet when


it is put down again, you go to work


and skin your knuckles, and get a


silver under your thumb nail, aud tell


your wife to shut up about that ever


lasting boy, and make up your mind


that it does not make any difference


about that tack, and so you begin on


the corner where the carpet is


doubled two or three times, and has


been nailed down with single nail.


You don't care continental about


saving the nail, because you find that


it is not a good time for the practice


of economy; but you do feel little


hurt when both claws break off from


the claw, and the nail does not bulge


peg. Then your manhood asserts


itself, and you raise in your might


and throw the carpet claw at the dog,


and get hold of the carpet with both


hands, and the air is full of dust and
flying tacks, and there is fringe of
carpet yarn ali along the mop board,
and the BABY cries, and the cat goes
anywhere, anywhere outof the world,
and your wife says you ought to be
ashamed of yourself to talk so-hut
that carpet comes up. Then you lift
one side Of the stove, and your wife
tries to get the carpet from under it,
but can't because you are standing
on II, you try anew hold, and just
after yonr back breaks the carpet is
clear. You are not through yet
Your wife don't tell you any more
little stories, but gets your old coat
and hangs it on you, and opens the
back door and shoves you out, and
'ntimates that the carpet needs whip
ping. When you hang the torment
ing thing across the clothes line the
wrong way, and get it righted, and
have it slide off into the mud, and
hang it up again, and get half pint
of dust and three broken tacks
snapped out of the northwest corner
into your mouth by the wind, you
make some observations which you
neglected to mention while in the
house. Then you hunt up stick and
go for that carpet.


The first blow hides the sun and
all the fair face OF nature behind
cloud of dust, and, right in the Gen.
tre of that cloud, with the wind
square in your face, no matter how
you stand, you WELD that cudgel un-
til both hands are blistered, and the
milk of human kindness curdles in
your bosom. You can whip the car
pet longer or shorter period &C
cording to the size Of your mad; it
don't make any difference to the car
pet, it is just as dusty and fuzzy
and disagreeable after you have
whipped it two hours as it was
when you commenced Then you
bundle it up with one corner drag
ying. and stumble into the house,
and havemore trouble with the stove,
and fail to find any wsy of using
The carpet stretcher while you stand
IN the carpet, and fail to find any
place to stand off the. carpet, and
hen you get on your knees again,
while your wife holds the saucer, and
With the blindest confidence hands
you broken tacks with no points,
.acks with no heads, tacks with no
Gathers, tacks with the biggest ends
It the points. Finally the carpet is
lown, and the baby comes back. and
he dog comes back, and your wife /
miles sweetly. and says she is glad
hat job is off her mind. As it is !
90 late to do anything else, you sit
~ the fire and smoke, with the inner
that you are the meanest
nan in America. The next day you
lear your wife tell friend that she ,
s so tired; that she took up and put
lown that great heavy carpet yester- !
lay. 3


E The Arapahoes aud Cheyennes !
f Wyoming are resolved not to abau-
on their native hunting grounds for a
on the Arkansas River. {
he Arapshoes number about 1000,