Year: 1877

Ahe OehgntS of nomadic Irritation
were recently signally illustrated bv
the experience of a youthful student
OF one of the colleges in this State.
While in railway car this YOUNG
man saw an unprotected young ladT
and marked her for his prey. Taking
a seat beside her, he began a CONVEX,
sation by few powerful and con-
Vincing remarks upon the weather.
The young lady, who was quite his
peer in amiable Stiffness, at first an
swered him in able monosyllables,
and finally, yielding to the wiles of
her new acquaintance, joined with
hlm IN devouring the seductive pea
nut and In trying her fortune with
the prlze-candy that cheats but does
not inconsistencies we may regard
colo as an intoxieation of the stom-
ach. For nearly an hour this rare
and radiant maiden, whom her pa.
rents named Mary Jane, and this in
noeuous undergraduate whose name
Is charitably suppressed, firted to
their own immense satisfaction, and
lndulged in that curious though in
nocent amusement known as "tee-
heelng" until the other passengers
even wished that they were dead.
Flnally, the young man felt that he
must retire IN order to chuekle in
private and ease his strained mind
by exultlngly calling himself ga wild
young fellow" and he thereupon
sought the smoking-car and painful
ly began the consumption of a mild
Connecticut cigar.


His dream of bliss was soon inter-
ruPted by the appearance ofthe con-
ductOr, who abruptly demanded
''that watch" Now the young man
had no watch of any kind and said SO
with a clearness which did him cred
it. The conductor then explained
that he had stolen a young lady's
watch, and that he must come with
him and restore it without DELAY.
Red as rose was he when he con-
fronted the young lady, with his
collar in the tight grip of the con-
ductor's hand, and timidly denied
her fierce accusation that he was a
piekpocket. Of course the incident
created immense excitement in the
car, and the young lady's tears
were accepted by everybody as con-
elusive evidence of the truth of her
charge. One old gentleman, who
had been unable to read his newspa-
per in consequence of the prolonged
"tee- e-heelngs" already mentioned, re-
marked that a man who would force
himself upon an innocent girl as the
undergraduate had done would un-
questionably pick pockets or per-
petrate any other detestable crime.
1t was the Unanimous opinion of the
passengers that he should be made
to disgorge, and should then be ell
ther thrown from the train when in
motion or should be tied hand and
foot in the baggage-car and deliver
ed to the police at the next stopping
place. One large man, with short
hair and a partially leveled nose,
took the ground that what "the fell
low" really wanted was, in sub
stance, a change of head, and that
he felt it his duty to provide him
with new head without the least
delay. Meanwhile the young man
begged for mercy, and implored the
young lady to look in her pocket
and see if she could not find the
missing watch. The conductor, who
was married man, and knew that
the female pocket is never used for
watch-carrying purposes, was so in
dignant at what he called the "cheek'
of this suggestion that he called
brakeman to hold the miserable
Young man so that he could ego
through him." as he metaphorically
expressed it. The young man was
accordingly searched with great
thoroughness, but with no notable
result save the discovery of a small
comb, which he providently carried
l in his pocket in order to be prepared
i in case of a sudden and prOfuse
| growth of mustache. When it be-
came evident that the watch was not
concealed upon his person it was de
cided that he had either swallowed
it or secretly dropped it out of the
window, and the conductor, partly
in order to prevent the effusion of
blood on the velvet cushions of the
car, stopped the train and deposited
the young man in a nice swampy
spot. Precisely fifteen minutes af'
terward Miss Mary Jane gave joy
| ful shrek and extricated the watch
from some mysterious locality i'm
mediately behind the front of her
dress, into which it had accidentally
slipped. Thus was the innocence of
4 tha Undergraduate established, and
! he thereup pom sank in the public esti'
NATION from a skilful piekpOcket to
the more degrading position of an
unlimited idiot. ~ 7. Times.