Year: 1874

imagine for what that crowd met so often
at the back OF the White House. There
were little Aleck Stephens and big Ros.
Conkling, Mosby Morton, Logan and number
OF others, while Grant always stood, pillar o.
fire and smoke by night In the middle OF the party
they we're always talking but 1 never could tell
what they meant. But now you speak OF a third
term, remember that I've seen Grant reading
up manual of court etiquette; Logan has had
pair OF knee breecnes made, sashed with gold
and with gilt buttons at the side OF the knees
I've seen them when he aired his wardrobe.


HERALD REPEEsENrATIvE-You will pardon me,
sir, II ask you to give me another seat than what
have been sitting on for some time. The wet
cloud that have occupied for an hour or over is
melting fast, and seems inclined to drop me into
some starry planet, and l would like to have a
safer thing.


OLD TINE ROCKS.


MAN IN THE MooN-Al right, my dear boy; take
any of the clouds that are hanging round doing
nothing. We've got lots of them to spare
There are no reserved seats here, and besdes
you see, you take up such a small space. shoulu
judge tnat you weigh at least $50 pounds In
flesh, below, on the under world, but here you on'y
weigh about thirty pounds. Oh dear, what
rowdy world that is OF yours belowl Man
and boy I've been looking on at your antics for





undertook to gather chips to bulld fire on the
range. / have known all OF your worldly Pig
mles-you would call them great men where you
live. Some OF the individuals that you have en-
shrined in your corfounded dreary books
that you print to confuse the human IN
tellect were very small potatoes TO me.
/ knew them all. and have had many merry day
with them, for they have had to visit the moon In
transit, every one OF them. / have played keno
with King Solomon, hand ball with Hannibal. ju-
Illus Caesar and have bitten at the Jewsharp and
Alexander and have sat down many night at
iorty-five for quart of beer. tHere the Man in
the Moon became much affected and took che W
OF tobacco from his breeches pocket)


HERALD REPREsENTATIvE-But, sir, did you ever
see anything like our local politics, such as we
have in New York city9 can imagine what vast
experience you have had and can only look with
awe upon the sureripgs that you endured during
the Flood particularly


POLITICS ON THE HALF MOON SHELL.
MAN IN THE Moon (wno had taken a fresh cock
tail, and began to talk loud)-wel yes, things
were little lively during the nood and the moon
did get little wet, and let the rheumatism IN
my legs for a week, but wore ruDbers, you know
And you think that l never saw anything
ike your local politlcs9 You are a little
fresh, l must say, my dear HERALD man.



| mean in the city OF Rome-that could give
the First ward OF New York nlty points in ballot
stufflng and beat them. Talk about your New
York roughl He is nothing to the old Roman
rough that frequented the baths not more than
once in five years, and whose appetite for
rough and tumble lighting was wnetted by the
wild beast shows two or three times o
month. 1 have seen an Athenian rough, a
Bnotian, by birth, but who had taken out his
citizen papers in the shadow of the
Areopagus, 30 desperate that he would
think nothing OF guiping down Reddy the
Blacksmith like q small sandwich, and
Rockey Moore would not have served as free


lunch for some OF the brutes who roamed the streets
OF Carthage at night and who were always hal
looing for war with Rome, and when
war came those frauds instead OF fighting joined
the Numldian Blues, sort Of home guard for
harbor defences. No. my dear fellow, II you print
this IN the HERALD just put me down as saying
that you are as good In the world now the peo-
pie who lived on 1t five thousand years ago. when
/ took my nrst wife. Never go back on your own
times by any means, my dear boy.


HERALD KEPREsENTATIvE-Did you ever direct
train Of thought from your gigantic brain toward
the subject OF the Beecher scandal2


HE HAS CHANGED HIS DRINKS.


MAN IN THE MOON renectively) We'll, for a
month past have been endeayoring to get at the
truth in the matter, but owing to the fact that 1
have lately changed my DRINKS suppose that
my head is not clear. Then we nave had q volcanic
eruption up here some time snce and my tailor s
bill has laid ON my mind, and have lost track OF
the daily papers somewhat. We are laying out
new boulevard up here, 800 miles long, and since
the time OF the Schleswig- -Hostein question have
never attempted to unravei mysteries. But will
say that the Beecher scandal has provoked some
discussion up nere and there are partsans OF
both. parties, very violent in tone; yet
they all agree that 1llton should
have his hair cut, and that Beecher
should be compelled to diet himself moderately,
| for you know moderate diet, such as brown bread
and mashed turnips, VIII cool the blood Tor o
contemplation OF scientific matters. | can see,
however, that there will be big steal for the law
| yers all around the case, and think 1t would be
wise to call out the militia and shoot them all on
the spot That puts me in mind OF General DIX,
| who have known long time. Havemeyer and
| went to school together and swopped tany
with each other for marbles and apples. Have
meyer always treated me mean, though, for he
would fish or my stall, and when we went steal
ing pies rom hostile Dutchman VINO kept cor
ner store Havemeycr never divided worth a cent.
L often have visits from subunary people, but the
meanest white man ever met was an individual
from New England, who sold me an imitation
watch that would not go and then borrowed $s
from me to pay his railroad fare wnen he got back
TO Easton rom Springfield to Montreal.


now TO SETTLE THE BEEcHER TROUBLE
why doesn't Beecner raise sloo, 900 from his con-
gregaton and divide 1t up with Tilton and Frank
Carpenter and all or Mrs. Beechers poor relations,
and not give 1t all to the lawyers where 1t will
surely gos And why did not Morrissey and Kelly
give Cresmer nomination for Congress in his ola
district and then he would have talked like
little man for the Tammany ucketf