smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1874

man will walk it without effort and never step
off. Taking his place at one side of the
platform, he walked easily in an exact line to
the other side, with his hands in his pockets
and his eyes wandering carlessly. Now, he
went on, put that board at height of tit
teen feet, and not one man in dozen can walk
the length of it without falling off. Taking
his position as before, he fixed his eyes in front
of him as though on the elevated board, looked
scared, and commenced the imaginary passage.
Wavering and balancing, with his arms exten.
ded, he with difficulty got half way across, and
stumbled as though falling. The people
laughed out loud at the elaboratsly perfected
pantomime.


The greatest hit, however, was the drOl
mimcry of miser, who resolved upon reform
and began by releasing mortgage upon poor
mans farm. The counterfeit severity of the
miser in demanding payment, the fright O
the debtor, the blandness of the miser in pre-
senting the chanceled document, and the joy
Gus antics of the debtors wife and children
we're all produced with the skill of trained
comedian. Finally, when Mr. Beecher, as th
reformed miser, with benevolent smile OIL
his face, mounted his horse and rode off
bending his parted knees and swaying his bod
in exact imitation of rider, and cutting be
hind with an imaginary whip-everyb
laughed until the tears came.
Year: 1874

Charming is that faculty of the human mind
which enables one to drop into poetry like Mr.
Wegg upon any occasion, no matter how pro
sale, which throws a soft light of romance
around bread and cheese, and irradiates the
commonplace soul with beauty Such is the
faculty possessed by noble poet of Chicago,
who was recently informed that Madame
Nilsson had tboughtfuly built a shelter for her
cows on her land at Peoria. Mindful of the
catastrophe which led to the destruction of his
and beautiful frenzy of verse Christine,
Christine, thy milking do the morn and eve
between, and not by the dim, religious light OF
the ftful kerosene. For the cow may plunge,
and the lamp explode, and the fire fend ride
the gale, and shrek the knel of the burning
town in the glow of the molten pail !"
Year: 1874

WHAT A PREACHER SAW AT DENTON
The following story, vOuched for as a fact by
the gentleman who tells it to US, is so ludicrous
that the ZINES feels constrained to fix it uD
for print:


A number of years ago. a Methodist preach.
er, whilst delivering most impressive sermon
IN the NJ. +. Church at Denton, Md, one
Dalmy Summer morning, stopped short in his
discourse and commenced most vehement fit
OF laughter, which he was unable to restrain.
Every effort to regain his gravity and renew
his remarks would only stir up his risiblity the
more, until disgusted with himself he finally
dismissed his even more disgusted congrepa-
tlon. After the audience had retired he ex-
planned the cause Of his and their modification
to some gentlemen, whom he took aside for
the purpose, to wit:


When about half through his discourse
boy, tull to the very top of his neck with green
apples, hurried from the church with two leaves
OF Sunday School book, and retired from view
to an adjacent clover lot, which, though hid from
the congregation by dense thorn hedge, was
In tull view Of the minister, owing to his ele-
waited position. Shortly after the lad S retire
ment, the preacher, in summoning the beau
ties of nature to his aid, happened to cast his
eye out the window, over the clover blossoms.
lust as he did so the hot end of honey bee
come in contact with the exposed end of that
boy. The preacher took in the situation at a
glance and had to brake square down. To vii:
ness the antics of that youth, as he smaoked
and tried to " dust, with pair of stout liner
pants down around his heels, was beyond the
gravity of any man who had the least bit o.
smile in him.
Year: 1874

A Missouri woman turned her husband up
side down in the milk churn the other day
because he swors at her mother. He respects
his mother-in-law now.


A Detroit female of just twenty five was
married to her fifth husband lately. All the
gentlemen are alive, and the fist four are
doing well.


A superannuated minister says, II have
been euilty of doing one thing for which the
church will not forgive me: l have grown
old"


Adam had one consolation when he fell:
Fifteen or twenty acquaintances DIDN'T stand
on the opposite corner and laugh it Lis wishap.


A Western paper is dead: In its last gasp
II family whispered. 1.-Two hundred sub
scribers, aud only thirty one of them paid up. "
Year: 1874

who are under this cruel tate. Marriage is
only part of the life of man like Byron or
DlckenS-but to the true wife marriage en-
closes her life like horizon, with nothing
more beyond. Let US once pardon to insanity.
or unhapplness, or uncOngenialty of temper
ament an act as wanton and publicly avowed
as Dickens dismissal of his wife, and society
no longer gives woman any protection, and we
drift into Mahometan ways, in which woman
becomes the slave and the caprice of man and
no longer the blessing of virtuous home, and
the crown and felicity of the most perfect form
of civilization.


And our criticism upon Dickens still rests,
that having made himself a teacher of morals
and domestic virtue, having done more than
any man of his time to inculcate duty and
love to every man and woman, to show that
lite ripest and most honorable relation is in
marriage, to recognize as sacred beyond all
others the bond of the altar, he deliberately
dlshODored his own gospels by an act of selfish
ness aud impulse. The world asked why he
did this, why he publicly violated every one OF
the principles which he had preached for
twenty-five years with so much genius and
humor and passion, so moving the hearts Of
his race that his name had become almost an
idol in the temple of domestic love. We can
not believe it was insanity. Or, if we accept the
excuse as regarding him, who shall be blamed
for dismssing from his home in the evening Of
her days the wife Of his youth and fame, and
the mother of many children2 If she was
worthy to accept the most sacred Office thai
womaRs can give to religion and her marrirgt
vows; If she was worthy to be the mother o
his children, she was entitled on his part to
| performance of the VOW that he would protec
and cherish her until death did them part
| ". T. Herald
Year: 1874

OF course London is ringing with stories of
the adventures which happened during the fog,
one of which is worth quoting An old gentle
man who had some business at Charing Cress
made his way as far as the Strand, but there
and on, without the least idea of where he was
going, until he found himself descending some
steps On these steps he pumped against a
man who was coming up them. Halo,
said the old gentleman. Halo" said the
man. Can you tell me-" said the old
gentleman, where am going to?" " Yes, +"
said the man; 'if you go straight on you will
walk into the river for I've just come out Of
- ~
Year: 1874

A veteran observer says that 'Old friends
are like old boots. We never realize how
perfectly they were fitted to US till they ara
cast aside, and others, finer and more stylish
perhaps, but crampng and pinching in every
corner, are substituted"
Year: 1874

A Boston man was cursing an editor the
other day when he fell dead. Several similar
ins' ances have been lately reported. Men
should be careful in speaking of anything
STANDARDIZATION Post.
Year: 1874

A Keokuk, Iowa, dandy rubbed his hands
with glycerine to make his New Years gloves 90
on. When be had concluded bis calls he was
delighted to discover that be had mistaken
liquid glue for the glycerine, and all that night
and the next day he sat rehectively holding
his hands in a washbowl of warm water.
Year: 1874

The Boston Transcript says: "If the gates
of Heaven were suddenly to swing open and
all mankind be asked on equal terms to enter
into the kingdom, don't you know there is
some people who would pause to see what
some other people were going to do about it,
and some, who would draw back for fear the
celestial city was getting vulgar, and some,
who would refuse altogether if they saw the
so-and SOS about to snter2"
Year: 1874

All miasmatic complaints, in other


words all disorders generated by unwhole-
some exhalations from the earth or water,
are prevalent at this season. In every
section subject to the visitation Of fever
and ague or other forms of intermittent
disease, the causes which produce these
maladies are now actively at work. This,
therefore, is period Of the year when
the inhabitants of such districts should
prepare their systems to meet the un-
wholesome condition Of the atmosphere
by course of tonic and Alternative treat
ment. Foremost among the invigorants,
recommended by time and experience, as
a means of fortifying the system against
all endemic and epidemic maladies, stands
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. Whoever
has Travelled in the West OF South knows
full well the esteem in which this incom-
parable preventative and restorative is
held throughout those regions. 1t is lit
orally domestic staple in the swampy
and mephitic localities which lie on the
borders of many of our large rivers and
in the ighborhood of our southern ba-
yous and lagoons. Now is the time when
the inhabitants of all malarious districts
should put their systems and constitutions
in good defensive trim by course of this
powerful vegetable antidote. By this
means the feeblest resident of an un.
healthy soil may escape the sickness which
without the aid of this potent ally of ma
ture will be apt to overtake the strongest.
Chills and fevers, bilious remittents, con-
stipation, rheumatism, dyspepsia, and
many other complaints are frequently
brought on by the caprices of temperature
and alterations of dry, cold and excessive
moisture common in the commencement
of Spring. Let all who desire TO avoid
these distressing ailments take the Bitters
as safeguard. 1lnov
Year: 1874

Tho management have determined to
have the drawing of tho Fifth and Last
Gift Concert Of the Public Library of
Kentucky, on the Both day of November
next. We believe now that all the tick
cts will be sold and that the drawing will
be full one, but whether all are sold or
not tho drawing will nevertheless certain
ly come off on the day appointed.


The special object Of this card is to call
meeting Of the ticket-holders Mt Public
L ibrary Hall, on the Goth of November,
TO make arrangements in connection with
the Committee appointed by the Trustees
to superntend the counting Of the tags
representing the numbers of tickets sold.
While there is no actual necessity for tho
presence Of ticket-holders, as under our
arrangements the interests of all arc
equally cared for, yet at the same time /
would greatly prefer that as many OF
those Interested as can, would attend this
meeting and sec each for himself how
perfectly fair and impartial the distribu-
ton nIust be.


Every arrangement has been made for
the drawing, but little moro than a month
remains for the sale of the remainder OF
the tickets, and whatever is done must be
done promptly.


THos. f. BRAMLETTE,


Agent and Manager.


Louisville, KY, Oct. 22, 1874.
Year: 1874

CHARLEY CAss and Dick Brown will
have their new claim, on West Weaver,
in working order by the time water
comes. They are rigging up with iron
pipe, Little Giant and other modern i'm
proYements.
Year: 1874

REMEMBER.-Ever since it was discov-
cred that the authorship of the celebrated
"Junius Letters was unknown, it has
been the custom of newspaper publishers
to require the real names of persons send
ing them communication for publication,
and from the fact that writers do not
heed this rule many scintillations of geni-
us have found their way to the waste bas-
ket instead of having been hurled at the
head OF an unapprecative world through
the medium Of the local press. We are
led to these remarks, because we have
lately received several "pieces" for the
columns of the JOURNAL, but could not
publish them because we knew not whence
they sprung.
Year: 1874

SUCCESSFUL HUNTINa.-Ou old friend
o. M. Loveridgo spent last week in the
mountains at the head of Black Gulch
and during that time killed six deer and
and bear. Thanks for sample roasts
which were excellent.
Year: 1874

JUNCTION CITY.-Charley Kuper says
the late rain made plenty of water for
the miners in that section to commence
work with, but that they were not ready
for it. The high water carried off the
foot-1og at that place.
Year: 1874

RoUGH TRIP.-I. Zeigler, Humboldt
mailman, had hard time coming up this
week. The river was SO high that he
could not cross below and was obliged to
follow up the other side and cross on the
McGillivray bridge.
Year: 1874

The following was recently uttered by
Judge John l.. I. Sneed. of a Western
court


"The idea that the judicial Office n
supposed to be clothed with ermine,
though fabulous and mythical, is yet
most eloquent in its significance. We are
told that the little creature called ermine
is SO sensitive to its own cleanliness that
it becomes paralyzed and powerless at the
slightest touch Of deflement upon its
snow-white fur. Whea the hunters are
pursuing it they spread with mire the
path leading to its haunts, towards which
they then draw it, knowing that it will
submit to be captured rather than ds6le
itself And like sensibility should he
lohg TO him who comes 10 exercise the
august functions Of Judge"
Year: 1874

CONVERSION OF LrrHoGRAPHIC INTO LETTER


PRESS PLATEs.-A perfectly smooth and polished
zinc plate is first coated with weak phosphoric acid
then well wiped of, quickly placed over an alcoho
fame and rubbed dry with woolen cloth An i'm.
preston on paper from the ltbographc original in


moist condition is placed upon the zinc. and passed
through the press several times 1t is then treated
as An ordinary photographic stone. except that
nish is employed instead Of oil of turpentine. The
plate is next wiped off and dried. and the drawing
busted with finely powdered coiophony, every par
tcle of the latter being carefully removed from the
free portions Of the plate. 1t is then very cautiously
heated to the fusion of the coophony and graphite
busted upon the plate and rubbed until the drawing
acquires decided iuster. The plate is then placed
in o half saturated solution Of sulphate Of copper
until black deposit forms upon it, after which 1t
Is removed, wiped OFT, and replaced IN the copper
solution the operation being repeated two or three
times, when the drawing appears III decided relief
The free portions Of the plato are then coated with


mixture Of gum-arabic. ocher, white lead DC, bus
higher than the relief of the drawing and when
dry the whole il rolled with transfer ink. The
drawing may be further strengthened by removing
the layer Of gun. immersing IL In water and treat,
ing Ii again with sulphate Of "copper" unt the broad
spaces are deep enough to allow it to be used In tho
lctter-press. .f..
Year: 1874

TIMING LINEN AND COTTON FABlIcs.-Linen
and cotton goods. according to Jacobson. may be
timed by first applying to their surfaces commercial
zinc dust. rubbed to thin mass with weak aibumcn,
by means of brush or roller. When dry the albu-
men Is coaguiated by steam, and the goods are i'm
mersed in solution Of tin chloride. The tin IL de-
posted in finely divided state upon the zinc. and
is then to be burnished. Linen prepared In this way
is said to be good water-proof substitute for tin
toll IN many cases,
Year: 1874

CHARLES DICKENS to his Son.
Never take mean advantage Of
any one in any transaction, and new
er be hard on people who are in
your power. Try to do to others as
you would have them do to you, and
do not be discouraged if they fail
sometimes. It is much better for
you that they should fail in obeying
the greatest rule laid down by our
Saviour, than that you should. l
put a New Testament among your
books, for the very same reason and
with the very same hopes that made
me write an easy account of it for
you when you was little child; be-
cause it is the best book that ever
was or ever will be known in the
world, and because it teaches you the
best lessons by which any human
creature, who tries to be truthful and
faithful to duty, can possibly be gui-
ded. AS your brothers have gone
away, one by one, have written to
each such words as / am now writ
ing to you, and have entreated them
all to guide themselves by this book,
putting aside the Interpretation and
inventions of man. You will remem-
Der that you have never at home
been harassed about religious obser-
vances or mere formalities. l have
always been anxious not to weary my
children with such things before they
Year: 1874

are old enough to form opinions re-
specting them. You will therefore
understand the better that / now
most solemnly impress upon you the
truth and beauty Of the Christian re-
ligion as it came from Christ himself,
and the impossibilty ofyour going
far wrong if you humbly but heartily
respect it. Only one thing more on
this head. The more we are in
earnest as to feeling it, the less we
are disposed to hold forth about it.
Never abandon the wholesome prac-
tice of saying your own private pray
ers, night and morning. have new
er abandoned it myself, and / know
the comfort of it. | hope you will
always be able to say, in after life
that you had kind father. You can
not show your affection for him so
well or make him SO happy, as by
doing your duty.
Year: 1874




Some years ago, young man of
social temper and affable manners
was travelling by one Of the stage
coaches. He had early entered into
the military life, had seen real ser
vice, and evinced, by his department,
that he was no stranger to the socie-
! ty of gentlemen. He had, however
a fault too common, and too absurd,
to find an advocate among men of
sense; he was in the constant habit of
swearing. While the horses were
changing, a gentleman who sat on
the same seat with him took him by
the arm, and requested the favor of
his company in short walk When
they were SO far retired as not to be
overheard, his fellow traveller OBJ
served:


although l have not the honor Of
your acquaintance, perceive, sir
that your feelings are those Of a gen
tleman, and that nothing can be more
repugnant to your wishes than Civ
ing unnecessary pain to one Of your
company


The young officer started, and re-
piled: ~ - ~.


Most certainly, sir l hope / have
committed no offence of that sortp


You will pardon me- replied the
other, for pointing out an instance
in which you have not altogether
avoided it,


Sir said he 4 shall be much your
debtor for SO friendly an act; for,
upon my honor, l cannot conjecture
in what have transgressed.'
IF you, sir, continued the gentle
man, had dear friend to whom you
were under unspeakable obligations,
should you not be deeply wounded
by any disrespect to him, or even by
hearing his name introduced and
used with frequency Of repetition
and levity of air incompatible with
the regard due to his character?


Undoubtedly, and I should not
permit it; but l know not that l am
chargeable with indecorum to any of
your friends


Sir, my God is my best friend, to
whom am under infinite obliga-
tions. / think you must recollect
that you have frequently, since we
commenced our journey, taken His
name in vain. This has given me
heartfelt pain


Sir, replied the young man with
an ingenious emphasis, i have done
wrong. l confess the impropriety.
l am ashamed OF practice which |
am sensible has no excuse; but / have
imperceptibly fallen into it; and l
really make use of oaths without be-
ling conscious that do SO. l will
endeavor to abstain from it in future,
and as you sit next to me on the
coach / shall thank you to touch my
elbow as often as l trespass.'


This was agreed upon. The horn
sounded, and the travellers resumed
their places. In the space of four or
five miles, the officers elbow was
logged every few seconds. He al
ways colored, but bowed, and receiv-
ed the hint without the least symp-
tom of displeasure, and in q few
miles more so mastered the propen-
sity to swearing, that not an oath
was heard from his lips, during the
remaining, which was the greater
part Of the journey.
Year: 1874

VIM. Wirt's letter to his daughter,
on the asmall sweet courtesies Of
life" contains passage from which
a great deal Of happiness might be
learned: II want to tell you o
secret. The way to make yourself
pleasant to others is to show them
attention. The whole world is like
the miller at Mansfield, who cared
for nobody-no, not he-because no.
body cared for him And the whole
world would serve you so if you
gave them the cause. Let people
see that you do care for them by
showing them what Stearn SO happi.
ly called the small courtesies, in
which there is no parade, whose
voice is too still to tease, and which
manifest themselves by tender and
affectionate looks and little acts cf'
attention, giving others the prefer
ence in the every little employment.
at the table, in the field, walking, sit-
ting and standing"
Year: 1874

At the close Of busy day a wea-
ry mother tucked her three little
ones snugly into their beds, and then
retired to a quiet room for a little
rest and reflection. Very soon the
prattle ceased, and she thought the
Year: 1874

Kicking is favorite mode Of lighting
in the northern counties Of England, more
particularly in Lancashire, where, as the
poorer classes wear wooden clogs, vigor-
Gus kick will frequently have fatal conse-
quences.. The most strenuous exertions
have been made by the authorities to stop
the vicious and cowardly habit, but the
punishments awarded by the law are not
thought to be sufficiently severe to meet
the case. Flogging is now proposed as the
only remedy, and Parliament is to be Pc
titioned for an act to empower magistrates
to award this punishment A police mag
istrate at Oldham, Lancashire, says on this
subject:


"The practice Of violently assaulting
parties in the streets at night by severe
kicking has been so common Of late in this
locality, that venture to remark that in
all cases of extremely violent assaults the
law would have to be rigidly enforced, and
If it were found to be insufficient, addition
al power would have to be sought from
Parliament to order heavier punishment
My experience teaches me that the moral
feelings of the perpetrators Of these crimes
are so thoroughly barbarous and oblivious
to everything that is kind, moral, and just,
their habits of life 50 thoroughly degraded,
their homes such sinks Of iniquity, that
simple imprisonment is no punishment to
them. They do not feel it to be degra-
dation, and the only way to reach their
feelings is to mete out to these rufIians as
much corporal punishment rs they mete to
their victims You are aware that the
hsh has had salutary effect upon CARROT
ers. The conduct of these kickers is
equally vicious and dangerous, and public
opinion is strongly in favor Of its being
applied as a means of punishment for
crimes Of this description.
Year: 1874

HUMoRs OF THE FIRE.-The fire in


Chinatown last week was not without its
attendant humorous, incidents. A large
lot of bombs in the China stores becom-
ing ignited went off, sounding like unto
cannonading and awaking people at
great distance. A lady friend having
her slumber thus disturbed, woke from
sound sleep and observing the intense
light and hearing the reports from a
thousand bombs, was on the instant con-
vinced that a volcano had burst forth in
the immediate vicinity of town. The
light was SO strong that people residing
halt-a-mie or more away, when first
awakened, were certain that their own
houses were in flames. One individual
more excited than discreet, rushed to the
conaagraton en- diShoblie, but soon re-
turned to his domestic quarters. We
also observed modern Diogenes, in the
shape Of an aged Celestial who wandered
around the fire with a lighted lantern,
Notwithstanding the strong light thrown
out by the burning buildings, it being
too early in the morning for honest men
to be about, he was unsuccessful.
Year: 1874

In Coon ORDER.-II. Kindly, at the
Mountain Market, is just now slaughter
ing some Of the lattest beet that has been
in this market for many months. If any
thing out Of the line of good beef, it ia
too fat. Just the thing, however, for
sailing down for Winter use, and sold
extremely low.