Year: 1877

There is nothing like good manners
ut table. Good manners mark the
cultured lady or the polished gentle
man. Like charity they cover multi
tude of sins. Good manners exalt a
man or woman. With good twelve
dollar suit of clothes and good manners
man can get so worth of board at
any hotel ''on tick


We have prepared an article on table
etiquette for our readers to swallow,
it unless they chews =


First-When a man seats himself at
the table he should remove his quid of
tobacco and place it under the edge of
his plate; then he should stand up and
reach across the table and snatch the
bill of fare from before the person op-
posite.


Second-He should begin on his soup
by first taking a large spoonful and
blowing in it. He should blow hard
and allow the spray to spatter on the
lady opposite. This will impress her
with his elegant manners. Next he
should dip his head down into the soup
plate, seize a spoonful and at every
mouthful he should suck hard, making
loud ''s-s-p''-this will attract the at
tention Of the people at the table to-
ward the polite gentleman.
Thirtl-Ortler fish, and when YOU be
gin eating it you can spit out the bones
on the table cloth. If you can let
mouthful of bones fly from your lips to
your right hand neighbor's plate it will
give particular relish to your neigh
bor's food and cause him TO admire
your manners.


Fourth-when you receive your tur-
key take a wing in your left hand and
seize it with your right fingers. Pull
hard, and if you are an expert you will
make your elbows cause considerable
amusement to your neighbors on each
side. If you can take good aim with All
elbow and knock set of false teeth
from the mouth of either of your neigh
bOrs, it will cause much laughter among
the guests at the table, who will i'm
mediately set you down as a natural
born wag.


Fifth-In waiting upon yourself to
butter, be sure and lick your knife
blade clean before sticking it into the
butter dish. Then when you want a
taste of picked cabbage or a mouthful
of jelly, take your knife to the jelly
and your fingers to the cabbage. One
thing be sure and do, and that is TO put
the vinegar bottle to your mouth and
taste it before you pour any of it over
your food. Ii you have a cold in the
head, remember that napkins will an
swer better than handkerchief, and
by all means never turn your back from
the table when you cough or blow your
nose. If doing the latter, try TO initiate
the sound of the steam engine blowing
off IFS overplus of steam. 1t will i'm
press people with your dignity and
grandeur.


Sixth-Pie should be eaten in haste.
\ quarter section of pie should make
exactly three mouthfuls. Cut it with
your knife, insert the blade underneath.
then shovel it down like throwing a
scoop of coal into an open hatchway.
If you eau manage to knock over your
cup of coffee with your right elbow it
will be warming To your neighbOrs to
beware of the ANIMALS when they are
feeding.


Seyenth-Before eating nuts place
them on the table and crack them with
a knife handle. AssOrt over the fancy
cakes and pick out the one that suits
you best. and he sure and fill your pock-'
cts with oranges, raisins and nuts for
lunch. Let us impress one thing on
your mind, and that is to shuttle your
feet under the table as much as possible.
Hit the feet of all the ladies YOU can.
This will impress them with your gen.
tlemanly department in particular. Oc-
casionally curse the waiter, making
sure to use good, loud, emphatic oaths
none of your little childish OneS-but
oaths that have some italic bottom to
them.


After you have concluded your meal
lay back in your chair and scratch your
head vigorously with both hands.
Your teeth you can pick with fork,
placing the food removed on the edge
of your plate. Smack your lips. gulp
up gas from the stomach. wipe your
lips with the table cloth, and placing Il
new quid of tobacco in your mouth you
can rise with the proud consciousness
that you have impressed the people at
the table with your exalted manners.


Three Great Painters