Year: 1878

Baby Alice was Growing over her din
ner. With a heavy heart | once more
gathered my little boy into my arms and
tried to discover what was the matter.
The sight of his inflamed throat frightened
me.


Bert wants to 90 to bed, said he lean
ing his hot cheek on my shoulder.
undressed him and laid him down at
once. | had no one in the house to send
for doctor and it was not safe to leave
Baby Alice alone while she was wide
awake. Nothing could have been crueler
than her high spirits for the next hour
while my apprehensions measured every
moment so heavily. 1t was almost three
O'Clock before those dancing brown eyes
closed upon my breast and could leave
her. What haste | made them locked
the door behind me, ran out the gate and
down the hill gained the village street
and toiled up the steep ascent to the doc
tors house.


He was not at home his wife told me-
He had gone out eight hours before to at
tend an important case and she had been
expecting him back every moment since
noon. made a frenzied appeal that he
might be sent to Bert the moment he re-
turned, and she promised me with little
burst of motherlv sympathy that he should
come at once. hurried home again. not
analyzing my fears but feeling them press
upon my heart with a crushing weight.


heard both children crying as | open
ed my door. did not mind baby. but
made straight to my boy, who was sitting
up in bed his ewes full of a strange, dull
glitter and his face crimson


Bert tried not to cry" he murmured
in his husky, choked voice. ''Bert tried
to be man, but the cry would come"


Bert must not cry now that mamma is
here, = said clasping him in my arms


Does mamma love Bert?" he question
ed. with his little curly head pressed
against my neck. Bert won't cry any
more" he added with quivering lip.


Brave little Bert He never cried any
more. Life with its inexorable doom of
suffering was over for him soon. The
doctor came an hour after reached home.
The case was hopeless then had probably,
with Bert's delicate throat and chest. been
hopeless from the first He died next
morning in my arms. holding my finger
tight in his childish hand. Once. towards
the last, he opened his ewes and fastened
moved, but the paralvzed throat could





he longed to ask.


Darling yes" said kissing him.
''mamma loves Bert dearly"


He smiled family; then his ewes closed
once more and after little while his clasp
upon my hand slackened finally the doc
tor took him away from me and babe me
90 to bed.


NV boy was gone. Two days before l
had looked into his eyes and read all sorts
of prophesies there of his coming life
His little hands had clutched eagerly at
every boon existence granted him. had
cradled him in my arms: together we had
heard the wintry blast shiver and moan
about our cottage, and then go kissing
along the downs to the ice-bound shore,
and when his appealing eyes fastened tim
idly on mine | had told him: ''No wind
shall blow my little boy away. Mamma
holds him tight


Now where was hep Who held him,
comforting him in his loneliness of this ex-
perience? Again and again | went in and
looked at him hungrilv. Death had robbed
him of no grace-and even bestowed new
beauty on that high, placid brow-given
new serenity to those tender lips, which
no longer gave me back my kisses, but
smiled on my sorrow with lofty sweet
ness.


Can speak of the days that followed?
No Even now when | recall the desola-
ton of that time need to comfort myself
as | comforted myself then. by clinging
warm and close to human love, that at
last let me feel Gods love teaching
through the darkness and holding me with
its everlasting arms Little Alice was left
me; little Alice rich in all the irresistible
charms of babvhood; each dav a radiant
delight; each new scene an endowment of
wonderful promise for her. Words are
nothing to paint mothers love, moth
er's consultations. A babvs smile con-
tains the divinest essence of all earthly
solacement; child's love soothes without
weakening: it demands so much that in
blessing it one is blessed by it unawares
! was at the age when the feelings are
most impetuous had studied little into
the meanings of life, for endurance of its
harshest as well as of its most beautiful
mysteries had been forced upon me when
was too young for analysis or philosophy.
Besides was never clever; my only tai
ent lies in loving and doing all can do for
beloved one. | loved my husband when
| married him, but my first glimpse of the
awful depths of soul that can be moved by
tenderness for another came with the touch
of my boys lips upon my breast. My
love for my children was the awakening
passion of my life.


Little Bert died four weeks after the new
year came in. February was stormy
month The sea rarely showed except
when great wind cut through the fogs
and disclosed black, wrathful waste OF
waters. What desolate roar the break
ers had used to listen to them with
shudder whilst sat with Alice, watching
the snow come down day after day. Ny
rooms seemed bare and desolate. should
have liked to put away Bert's playthings.
hut Baby had taken possession of them
with delight. There was a little drum
which of old had fancied made my head
ache when Bert thumped upon it, now


long to pause here and leave space for
fancy to fill up. Some sorrows are better
endured than remembered.


One morning in February little Alice
was less joyous than usual over her play
things, and as the hours wore on she grew
languid and heavy. and fretfully refused
even the broth offered her kept do
mestic in those days the doctor had sent
her TO the house during the first days of my
mourninO for Rerf and I retained her L