smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1867

A grotesque simile is sometimes very express
sivo We may mention that Of Daniel Web
ster who lkencd the word would, in Rufus
Choat' handwriting, to a small gridirOn struck
by lightning of sailor, who likened gen
teman whose face was covered with WhiSkers
up to his very eyes, to rat peeplng out OF a
bunch of oakum of u Western reporter, who
in a weather item On "a cold day, said that the
sun 5 rays, in the effort to thaw the ice, were
as futile as the dull reflex of Il painted yellow
dog; and Of conductor who, in discussion
as to speed, said that the last time he ran his
engine from Syracuse the telegraph poles on
the side looked like fine tooth comb.


Smiles Of like character are often heard
among the common people, and are supposed
to be the peculiar property of Western orators.
Instance As sharp as the little end OF moth
ing; big as all outdoors it strikes me like Il
thousand Of bricks; slick as grease or as
creased lightning melancholy as a Quaker
meeting by moonlight; fiat as a founder
quick as wink; not enough to make Cruel
for sick grasshOpper; not clothes enough to
wad gun; as limp and Timber an india
rubber stove pipe; uneasy as a cat in strange
garret; not strong enough to haul brOiled
Goldfish off a gridiron; after you like a rat
terrier after chipmonk SQUIRREL useless as
whistling psalms to a dead horse no more
than grasshOpper wants an apron; don t
make the difference of the shake of a frog 5
tail soul bobbing up and down i'll the bosom
like crazy pOrpoise i'll pond of red-h0t
grease; enthusiasm bois over like bottle of
gingerpOp; as impossible to penetrate his
head as to bore through Mont Blanc with a
boiled carrot as impossible as to ladle the
ocean dry with clam shell or suck the Cult
of Mexico through goose quill or to stuff
butter in wildcat with a hot awl or for a
shad to swim up shad pole with fresh
mackeral under each arm; or for a cat to run
up stove-ppe with tcasel tied to his tail
or for a man to lift himself over a fence by the
straps of his boots. A simile resembling these
was us ed by Lady Montague when getting i'm
patient in a discussion with Fox, size told him
she did not care three skips Of louise for him.
He replied i'll few minutes with the following:
"Lady Montague told me, and in her own house,
L do not care for you three Skips of a louise,
| forgive her, for woman, however well bred
Will still talk Of that which runs most in their
huad.


There is another class of SMILES scarcely
as pertinent, as, tor instance, straight as a
ram 5 horn; it will melt in your mouth like a
red hot brickbat talk to him like Il Dutch
uncle; smiling as a basket Of chips; odd as
Dick hatband; happy as a clam at high water;
quicker than you can say Jack Robinson; like
all possessed like fury; like all natur' like
all sixty; as quick as anything; mad as hops !;


mad as Halifax; sleep like top; run like
| thunder; deadur than door


]
Year: 1867

Testimony in court is very curious thing,
sometimes, and can be made to appear very
differently according to the aspect IN which it
is viewed. In Newark police court, recent
Gently, woman made complaint against her
husband for an assault and battery and cXhbi-
ted bunch OF hair which she stated he had
pulled from her head The husband, howev-
er, testified that his wife had been keeping this
same bunch of hair for years, and had frequent
ly exhibited it in court before to prove similar
charges. The court dismissed the case.
Year: 1867

SEC. As Aad be it further enacted, That if any
Judge register clerk marshal, messenger, assignee
or any other the several courts OF bankruptcy shall
for anything done pretended TO be done under this
act. or under color Of doing anything hereunder,


llfully demand or take or appoint or allow any per-
son Whatever lake Or him or on his account or for
ar on account OF any ether person. IN trust for him
or for an, other person. any fee, emOlument gratuIy,
sum of money, or anything Of value whatever other
Than is allowed by this ac whish shall be allowed
under the authority thereof. such person, when con
vcled thereof shall forfeit and pay the sum OF not
less lhun three hundred dollars, and not exceeding
Eve hundred dollars and be imprisoned not exceed
ing three years.
SEC. A. And be 1t further enacted, That lfany
person shall forge the signature OF judge register OF
other officer of The court shall forge or counterfeit


The seals Of the courts, knowingly cOhcur IN using
any such forged counterfeit signature or seal or e
purpose of auIhentcatlng any proceeding or uOcu'
mgDt. or shall tender in evidepce any such proceeu


ing document with false counterfeit signature
OF any such Judge. register other court SGDscr1eu
attached thereto knowing such signature or seal 70
be false counterfeit, any such person shall De gun
ty of felony, and upon cOnvi icOn thereof shall De ia
bic TO a fine of not less than five thousand dollars
and to be imprisoned not exceeding five years, at the
discretion of the court.
Year: 1867

The CoLoRED PAUPERs WHO FLoCKED TO
RICHMOND AFTER THE EVACUATION Nor TO
BE SUPPORTED By THE CITY.-The Council
committee for the relief Of the poor waited
upon Lieutenant Hambrick, Saturday, to
consult him in regard to the paupers who
focked into the city after the evacuation,
the said committee having protested against
supporting them, contending that the laws
of Virginia only gave the benefits Of an
alms-house to those who had lived for some
time in the city or county in which the
alms-house was located. Lieutenant Ham
brick stated that General Schodeld had
ordered the nonresident paupers to be
sent to the counties or cities from whence
they came.


A subcommittee, Mr.. N. NJ. Lee chair
man, then went out to the smallpox hos
pital of Confederate times, near Howard's
Grove, but now used as an alms-house for
the freedmen. Here they found about
four hundred persons, some lame, blind,
or otherwise deformed, and about sixty
insane. They learned that only about one
hundred of these would have to be sup
ported by the city, the others being non
residents. The committee thoroughly in
spected the quarters, and concluded to
recommend their purchase by the city if
the Government would dispose of them at
reasonable price.
Year: 1867

DEER.-The forests in the vicinity of
New Kent Courthouse, always a famous
resort for deer, are said to be filed with
this favorite game to greater extent the
present season than ever. Large numbers
have fallen at the crack of the huntsman's
rife, and day or two since one expert
killed two at once with double-barrel
gun. This is extraordinary shooting, but
we have the most reliable authority for
the statement. a distinguished city off,
cial, who has been rusticating with rela-
tive in that section for week or ten days
past, has just returned, bountifully supplied
with venison and greatly improved in
health,
Year: 1867

Flour has fallen, and we are determined, as
usual to give the public the benefit Of the decline


in the way Of


LARGE AND SWEET LOAF-BRBAD.
Why will you continue to bake your own bread
this hot weather, when you can send to T. 3.
GILL's BAKERY, No. Ii Broad street. and at bis
branch, one door from the corner OF Broad and
Sixth streets, and get more BAKED Dread for
the money than what you can buy the aour forf
BREAD, CAKES, and CRACKERS sold, whole.
sale and retail, as low can be bought any where
else in the city, and the quality guaranteed 70
give satisfaction.


auas-lw T.R. GILL.
Year: 1867

A MAN Run OVER BY THE CENTRAL
TRAIN AND KILLED.-Y Yesterday as the
down train of the Central road was little
this side of Charlottesville it ran over
man and instantly killed him. He was
switch-tender near that point, and it is
supposed that he had fallen asleep on the
track. We were unable to learn his name.
Year: 1867

, make its grand entrfs to Richmond this
morning. The pageant is described as
being "grand, peculiar, and imposing,
and all the juveniles, as well as many an
older head, will no doubt be out bright
and early to await the coming and see the
sights of this great combination.
Year: 1867

MISTAKEN IN THE FIGUREs.-In our quo
tations of the fuel market yesterday we
inadvertently stated that the best Clover
Hill coal was selling at $3.50 per load. 1t
should have been 81 only.
Year: 1867

Many Christian has infrmities of
temper which impair his religious infu-
ence; and few businessmen can re-
view their lives without regret or re-
morse. The Christian Iatelhgencer makes
honorable mention of businessman in
Boston whose example can be COM
mended for general imitation. The
grace of God can control both the heart
and the tongue: 81


"Not long since a Christian died in
Boston who had been uninterruptedly
in business for more than half csntu-
nv. What manner of man he was, ap-
pears by the record made just after his
death, that during this long period, ac-
cording to the testimony of those most
closely connected with him, he never
had an unpleasant dispute about any of
his business transactions. 'Of the two
required to make quarrel, he could
not be onai fer by his invariable good
humor and generosity be turned aside
an angry word, nor did his own mind
suffer from reverses or failure, since the
contentment in which he kept his spir-
it, and the natural sunshine of bis heart,
restored it almost Immediately to its
accustomed eveuness. Whatever trou-
bes he met--and he had his full share
could not long appear to outward OBJ
servers; not that he hid them in his
mind. He trustingly carried all bur-
dens to One able and willing to bear
them. With this eyenness of temper
he united Judgment and integrity.
Can any one give 3 reason why such a
record should be so rare7 True, there
are some men with whom, as Paul
seems to imply, it is impossible to live
peacOably.' Yet if the disciples studied
more habitually the Masters precept,
"Wiss as serpents and as harmless as
doves" there would be less wonder ct a
long business life pursued and finished
without a single alteration"
Year: 1867

What Can be Done With Time.


1t is a mistaken idea, and a some
what obtaining one, that a young per-
son can accomplish nothing, in any
point of view, unless he has plenty OF
time at his disposal. The miser lays
away one penny after another, and in
time his Golfers are full. 1t was only a
penny at first! So with any other
faculty of the mind. Lite is but many
moments. The golden moments Of
thoughtless childhood are passing rap
idly away, and soon the responsible and
weighty duties of an active, busy life
Overtake him, and, unless, like the prac-
tical economist, a right disposal is made
OF his time, he goes on in irresolution
and procrastination till the misspent
moments whiten his locks, and reproaeh
him for his neglect to sow early the
right kind of seed 10 the garden of
life. Webster filed up his dictionary
with one word alta time. AknOwledge
of all languages and sciences is acquired
by 6nding one fact after another. The
time that is used in amusements, be-
yond necessary physical exercise every
day, if rightly husbanded, would be
sufficient for the aquisition of that
knowledge that we, in after time, think
we would get, could the fowery path
of youth be once more trodden. Every
misspent moment tells fearfully against
him who will surely be found inadequate
to the task which he, for others, has
undertaken to perform. As surely as
one moment follows another, does old
age creep on, and the cheerful and hap
py, or wretched and miserable mind is
the faithful account of the stewardship
of life.
Year: 1867

A Michigan correspondent of the
New York Farmers Club furnishes the
following items on clover:


II fear that your reply to Charles
Vinans about clover may mislsad those
who have not been in the habit of using
plaster. You say six or eight bushels
is as good as one hundred. Now, !
have found that half bushel is suff-
eient, on clover, if applied every Spring.
Two bushels of clover seed to fourteen
acres iI not heavy seeding, but rather
light. Ny rule is two bushels to ten
acres, but many recommend peck to
the acre. Clover seed is raised sxteh:
sively in this region. The general
practice is to cut the first grswth for
hay about the 1st of July, and let it
grow again for seed 1t is then fit to
cut the fore part of October. We cut
it with a reaper, leaving it in large CAV
els. The yield is from one to six BUSH
els per acre. Iwould recommend Mr..
Vinans to SOW on the six acres which
he proposes to manure highly for clover
next spring, either barley or wheat for
/ think if he sows the clover alone, The
weeds will grow up and choke the
clover as much as a creP of grain. /
would SOW the clover seed before the
last dragging, and then SOW one bushel
Of plaster per acre about the time the
grain was coming up. Let him try this
plan, and if his land is sandy he will be
surprised at the result. The clover viii
grow up after the grain is cut, and
blossom, and if the season is moist, it
will fall down. The man who should
manure his land for slower in this State
would be laughed at, we expect, unless
by clover itself. We don't think much
Of barn-yard manure; clover and plas-
ter are our great fsrtilizersi if We use
them properly, our land grows better
every year.
Year: 1867

though, with their different belief,
cannot help thinking that they have
taken away my Lord, and | know not
where they have laid him ; yet good
men and women chat glorious old Peter
Cooper among them) hold to this belief


and | will quietly cling to my faith
and quarrel with no one"


1t was late; the inner door was clos
ed. ] opened it softly and went in.
A gentleman, sitting in a chair by the
door, whispered, "The sexton will be
here in moment, and will give you a
seat" / waited, and very soon a
white-haired man came up to me and
looked at me and at the door; saw that
it was not quite closed went to it,
shut and locked it; then said to me in
low voice, SO grabbed, so indescriba-
bly, grating and biting, that l can only
give you faint idea of the sound by
putting the then words he used togeth-
err thus: "What you wanti


What did / wanti My blood went
up instantly to boiling heat. | said,
''Do you ask me what wanti l did
want a seat; now l want you to open
that door for me-" a


The man locked scared, and turning
very red, he said: 81 didn't say so, l
will give you a seat"


II will not have seat" ! said: "I
shall leave the church, and report you
to DR.. B.. Open the door"


"You can go out at the side door,"
he muttered, "but l did not say so"


took no further notice, but walked
out of that house of God with my head
beating wildly, and big tears of indig-
nation binding me.


l went home then, and tried to con-
quer the angry passion raging in me by
reading Our Lords sermon on the
mountains but, try as ] would, / could
not be forgiving.


When my husband returned he in
formed me that seat had been given
them at the end of the first lesson.


When / had a pew my standing or
der to sexton was to fiji it up at once
every Sunday. / would not dare to
risk the possible salvation of human
soul by an exhibition of churlish selfish
ness--a vice doubly base in such place.
What manner of Christians are we who
do such things?


DR.. - once told me Of member
of his congregation noted for his ex-
clusiveness and pride. "Why, my dear
madam" he said, 81 don't know how
Mr.. - will consent to go to Heaven,
for then he will have to endure the
companionship Of Peter aud Andrew,
who were only poor fisherman"


AS this proud man has long since
parted this life, let us hope that he is
humbly and gratefully abiding with
those faithful apostles of our Lord; and
let us also hope that those like him,
who are still remaining in - and 9TH
er churches, will listen to the apostle
Peter in this life, who in his epistle en-
joins upon us all to "use hospitality to
one another, without grndging."
Year: 1867

sTIf our readers do not think that it
requires nerve to edit a newspaper, let
him read this, the experience Of "One Of
them fellers:'' "a gy9T .qoosg IisW


Gone evening, it was moonlight in
the summer time--we sat alone on the
porch by the cottage door, holding that
little white hand in gentle pressure !;
one arm had stolen round her waist
and a silent song Ofjoy, like the music
of the night, was on our soul. Our
lips met in a sweet delicious kiss, and
in bending softly to her ear, we whis-
pered a tale of passionate devotiOn--we
proposed In moment she tore her
hand from ours, and with look of in
effable scorn said, what, marry an edi-
tor7-You git out!' We slid"
Year: 1867

ETA countryman who was charged
with ten gallons Of whisky, though the
publican had sent him only an eight
gallon keg, said he "didn't mind the
money overcharged so much as the
strain on the ksg."
Year: 1867

IMPORTANT DECISION IN BANKRupTcY.-lt
has been recently decided in New York that
any property that q bankrupt may have ac-
CURED afior The filing of his petition, and an
tecedcnt to his discharge, is not liable for his
debts contracted before proceedings were com.
menced. That is to say John Doe having
He' filed his petition for adjudication in . bank:
ruptcy yesterday becomes by way of legacy,
or by speculation, a rich man tomorrow; but
though he may not be discharged from bis Ii
abilities for twelve months, the irlit OF his
legacy or speculation cannot be touched for
his old debts. Doubtless this is the law and
it can be defended on just the grounds that
we choose, when we defend the discharge of
debtors at all. The evident intention of the
enactment was to fix some point at which the
debtors liability should cease, else the law is
of no avail. 1t is now authoritatively deter.
mined ~=aaat that point is. 1t is marked by
filing the first petition, and the accompanying
schedules.
Year: 1867

The United States Economist says: "lt is
not to be concealed that those best acquaint-
ed with the cotton trade of the United States
are becoming dubious as to whether our plan
ters can hold,the ground in connecting With
the growers of other countries. When plan
tiers could grow cotton at six cents per pound,
it was generally conceded that we had vir-
tua monopoly Of the cotton trade. We then
supplied England with. three e-fourths of her
importations of cotton, and there was no ten-
dency on the part of other countries to dispute
our ascendancy. Our cotton was much bet
ter staple than that of India, and was mar.
keted in much better condition, and the cas-
tern product was used only for the very COM
monest purposes. But now all is changed.
The extreme scarcity of American cotton has
necessitated the Lancashire spinners and man
utacturers to adapt their machinery to the In
dia staple, so that it is now found to be avail
able for many purposes to which formerly 1t
had never been applied The advanced price
has caused greater attention to be paid to the
culture and packing of the eastern staple;
while the handsome profits realized By grow
ers and factors have induced much larger
area to be planted, and have in every. way
consolidated and strengthened the cotton
trade of India At the same time, the open
ing of railroad communication with the cotton
region has placed the planting districts in
more direct communication with the capital
and enterprise Of the cotton ports. India is
thus not only in position to grow cotton as
cheaply as ever, but has the motive and means
for increasing her crops indefinitely. There
is naturally a hcsitating about largely aug
menting the crop in that country until it is as
certained what is likely to be the supply from
the United States. :;
In the event Of an average crop being raised
here, the price Of the staple would be reduced
to figure which would involve heavy losses
to the growers and the merchants in India !;
and this must be regarded as the reason why
the cotton crop of the last two years has not
been increased to the extent which might
have been expected from the high profits fe-
alizcd upon its culture. Should it appear to
the cotton traders of India that the American
crop is likely to be permanently reduced,
there weud undoubtedly be a prompt increase
in the India supply; but until the probablll-
ties upon that question are more definitely
developed, the India supply is likely to be reg
ulatcd with caution.
Year: 1867

SLIGHTLY MlsrAKEN.-Ayoung lady stepped
into one Of the street cars The other day, and
dropped her handkerchief upon vacant seat


as much as to say tahen," while she al-
vanccd to the othes end Of the car to deposit
her fare Meantime nicely dressed Young


man jumped in and sat down on the handksr-
chief without observing it. The young lady,
after paying her fare, turned back, discovered.
to her chagrin heTseat was occupied, aud sat
down opposite, ladies making room for her.
But she did not desire to lose her handker-
chief, so she looked intently toward the place
where she had left it, hesitating whether 10
ask for it or not. Discovering the direction
of her looks, al eyes on the opposite side OF
the car were SOON bent on the young man.
Finding himself the object of SO much atten-
ton, he himself looked and discovered to his
horror something white on which he sat, the
end peepng out He m:stook its character.
To cover it with his hand and to tuck it nice
IL away; was tie work OF q few moments.
None in tue car>but the young lady knew that
the something white" was handkerchief,
and hcs;tating still mere to ask him, she lost it.
Year: 1867

HE Subscribers arc now receiving their
FALL AND. WINTER GOODS, which were
bought in the best markets in this Country, and
which in point OF STYLE, QUALITY and
PRICE defy competition.
Year: 1867

We learn that there is some alarm among
the people in relation to confscation of lands
by the general government We are not
presumed to know more than Others ON this
subject, butw will state briefly our opinion
as to what may be expected.


We feel sure that the lands of the great
body of the Southern people are in no dam
ger get of confiscation. They would have
been in no danger in any event. if the States
had accepted promptly the Howard amend
ment and returned to the Union. But the
lands of the instigators and leaders of the
rebellion have been in danger from the first.
Recent events have not diminished that dan
ger. We can not predict whatewill be done
with the property of these leaders. They
may save it yet, if they will; but we confess,
from our knowledge of their proud, stub
born and defiant disposition, that we can
have but little hope that they will. We ap-
prehend they will continue in course which
will complete their own ruin, as they have
ruined their country. But one thing is GER
tain, the property Of the loyal is in no danger.
Treason must be shown both iA intent and
act, before the title will vest in the national
government; and even if it should have YES
ted by Il teclnicality in law, those who are
unmistakably loyal will not, in the end, lose
it. The government will not punish its own
sincere friends and supporters. 1t will rather
protect them and build them up at the ex-
pense of wicked, unrepentant, conscious
traitors" If it be true that the pardons
granted by the President will not save, in
the last resort, the property of the person
pardoned, it is clear that the property of
those who are unpardoned will be confsca-
ted, for Congress has forbidden the Presi-
dent to grant any more pardons.


Mr.. Stevens has solemnly declared that he
will devote his remaining strength to the
work of confscation. His influence in Con.
gress is well known. The great body of the
Northern people, and many of our own peo.
pie feel, that it would be an act of gross and
crying injustice to free the slaves and give
them no lands; and that, to say the least, il
would be better that the large bodies of land
held by Southern rebels be cut up into small
farms for the poor whites and the colored
people. Revolutions never go backwards
and this revolution has not yet run it.
course.


1t is natural, under the circumstances, thai
persons about to purchase land should bt
careful about the titles. But we repeat, tht
property of our loyal people is in no danger
They can make good titles, as there is nc
reason to fear that in any event confscatior
will fall on them.