smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1878

"a CROWN will not cure headache
nor = golden slipper the gout. Very
true; but o crowned head when u aches
doesn't have to keep right on deyising
Ways anal mesns to procure bread and
batter. nor does gold-sLod foot when
II twinges have to support the weight oil
q toiling body.
Year: 1878

Tar eIcursieu boat season is coming
round. when they roll a dozen hogs
heads Of iron ON the right side OF the
Loat TO balance the weight OF humanity
around the bar ON the left side.
Year: 1878

The spectacle was presented in one of
the New York courts Monday of son
entreating to be excused from testifying
against his father, who was accused Of
wife murder. He finally declined to
give evidence, and declared that lie pre-
ferred to go to Jail.
Year: 1878

There is no consideration better cal.
culatcd to exhibit to us how entirely
insignificant our earth is as part of
the universe than that which leads us
to realize how our globe would appear
to one OF its own Inhabitants il he
could be transported to one. alter an
other of the heavenly bodies. The
Journey of our Imaginary celestial
traveller need not extend TO the fixed
stars, for from them the earth il not
visible at all. The nearest fixed star
is 226, 400 times more distant from us
than is the SUI. Figures convey no
idea of this vast interval, for no one
can conceive of trillion, much less "a
-trillions, of miles. A spider thread on
that star would blot out the space be-
tween the sun and the earth. Our lu-
minary.wOulda appear as brilliant dot /;
our earth, even ii it were not lost in
the solar effulgence, would be abso-
lutely and mathematically INVISIBLE.
And this on the nearest fixed star, if
we proceed further into the star depths
our sun itself would dwindle smaller
and smaller and disappear long before
the stars were reached which now
form the limit of our imperfect obser.
vations. If any fixed star is inhabited
the Inhabitants are not merely igno-
rant of our earth, but Of all other
planets of the solar system, all might
be swept away by some vast cataclysm
and the rest of the universe would be
none the wiser.


Restricting ourselves, however tt
the planets of the sums family, it il


probable that three are more familiar
J with our earth's characteristics thar
we are with theirs the other three O
Year: 1878


lion roared with pain; but he did his
level best pulling, and pretty soon the
tongue began to give and the tail to
shorten, and directly out they came,
the tail and the tongue in one contin-
uous string. He said he had 'em at
home, and he showed 'em to me; but
my belief is, they were Only three or
four COW hides and bulls tail dove
tailed together.


tHe was astonishing as truth
crusher. Said he served on gun.
boat during the war, which was very
small and light, while the mortar Oh
deck was very large and heavy; and
he said the first time they tried to fire
fifteen inch shell. the shell remained
stationery, while the tecoil was SD
great that it fired the gun boat for
miles up the stream and landed 1t in
tree. He was liar; but he's dead
and reckon he'll ketch it,


T e was no doubt OF it Mr. Leary
was very successful as constructor
of energetic works of fiction.
Year: 1878

He was the Orfulcst liar ever seen,
said Cooley OLeary; as we returned
from his friends furneIal. why, he
told me once that he lieyed on small
Island on the Pacific Ocean, on which
there was y volcano. And he said
there was an active demand in that
region for watermelOns; so he went
into the business OF raising them. And
he said Que year his whole crop failed
except one melon, and that kept on
growing at such fearful rate thai it
crowded him of the lowland and up
the side of the volcano, which geuer-
ated steam aud caused All explosion
which blew up the whole concern TO
atoms, aud shot him 4OO miles out to
sea, where he was picked upby aw haler.
lie used TO tell that the one great mis-
take OF his life as,that he didn't drive
as to make it water-tight, and then
slice open The watermelon aud come
sailing home on the hall-shell.


sHe would lie. lie said that once he
was cast away on an iceberg, with no
baggage but pair of skates and fish
ing pole. But he skaIed around until
he came to dead whale frozen into
the ice. So he took Off his shirt,-it
was night up there for six months that
year,-tore it into strips for a wick,
RON the sticks through a bamboo fish
ing rod, stuck the rod into the fat of
the whale, and iit the other end. He
said it burned splendidly, and the ice
berg reflected the light so strongly
that it was bright as day for forty
miles around, and one vessel ran into
the iceberg, thinking it was light
house. He said he sold the iceberg to
the Captain for $4,000, aud the Cap
tain split it mp and took 1t home and
made 200 per cent. profit disposing ol
it to ice companies.


Lie? Well. sir. he beat any man
ever came across. Told me that once
out in Nevada, mountain lion attack


ed him, with his mouth wide open


He had presence OF mind enough I,


grab it by the tongue sad p.ak fh
Year: 1878

The only significant feature of the recent
creasing strength displayed by the Green
baek-Labor party. The two old parties held
their own pretty evenly, but the new combina-
ton OF the dissatisfied displayea strength
enough to show that it will be an important
element In future contests.-IN. Y. Tribune.
Year: 1878


'Tis gone, with its joys and sorrows,
Its sunshine and storms of rain:
Look not away in the distance,


On relics of grief and pain:
Look up, dear friends, instead:
Let the dead year. bury its dead
What if our pride have suffered,


What if the hour of need
Have shown that the friend we trusted
Was worse than broken reed
Look up, though our hearts have bled
Let the dead year bury its dead.
Let us count the abundant mercies
Our one great Friend has sent;
The days of our light and darkness
All gifts of one sweet intent.
No matter the tears we shed
Let the dead year bury its dead.
All, youth has been taught stern lessons,
And we of maturer years
Have learned yet keener knowledge


OF life's vain hopes and fears.
How surely Gods hand hath led
Let the dead year bury its dead.
And the newborn, year shall find MS
Courageous, alert and strong;
Girt up for the strife before us,


Though sharp the trial and long.
On, on with firmer tread,
While the dead year buries its dead.
Year: 1878

Among the returns in the Coroner's
office, New York, recently, was the re-
port of the death of Anna Noyes, aged 10


hours, at $40 East Seventeenth street.


The house at $40 is one of block of low
tenements, running almost to the East
river water front. In front of the en-
try of the house a crop of idle men
stood the other day. On the reporters
inquiring for the Noyes family some of
them followed him up the stairs. I'm


der the pilotage of one he reached the
fourth story front room. It's furniture
consisted of chair and a table. The


dead babe lay on the table near the


window, nobody being willing to bury,
it or even take it away James Noyes1
a steamtug pilot, and; until recent m !.
ployed on board the HaRie sdrSalde-dnd
his wife and 5-year Old caiid Ia


in the room for woweekspast


alone on Friday evening the II


gave birth to child. She lay the


moaning until daylight when she crie'


and shrieked so loudly that she wa!


heard by the neighbors. Some of theI


women of the neighborhood tried to-


care for the mother and her babe, but


at noon the child died. The parents of


the young woman Noyes live in the


same story, but will do nothing for the


daughter. The father said that he had
buried two children for his daughter,


and that he would let the babe remain


where it was before he would spend


cent. He had spent 5000, he said, for
the family of his worthless son-in-law,
| and now some one else must pay the
bills. The man who hires Noyes, he


says, should pay the bills, and make
Noyes work it out. Noyes gets good


wages when he works, but has been


drinking lately. The mother lay


in one corner She had drawn the


quilt about her head, so that only


stray stress of long black hair that fell


woman was concealed there. Several


parently unable to do anything. They
tried to soothe the sick woman, and to


remove the blanket from her head, but


she only clutched the covering more
tightly. Soon numbering sound was


heard on the stairs, and with many


groans and curses Noyes was tumbled


in by friend. He was decently dress
ed, even to a collar and white tie. He
fell into the only chair in the room.


Then he renewed his curses, and il any


one spoke to him he smiled idiotically.


He took no notice of his dead child or
sick wife. The latter had become hys-
terical. Her mother entered and up
braided her son-in-la law, and then retired
to an empty back room to weep. Two
weeks ago, it is said, the young moth
ar's father turned her out Of his home
Year: 1878

A Waukegan young


tention to fair young d.


suburb has become distasts


parents of the young lady, had


formed that such was the case


many words, and was likewise toll


"git;" but the young man like all yed


men when afflicted with puppy love,
thought that the folks were fools, and
had never experienced cloves young
dream" He had heard that the "course
of true love gathers no moss" or some
thing to that effect, and that it was a


tlong lane that has no bull Such
was not the case- here. The old man
had a speckled bulldog. OF course
the young man was $50 ed with the,
dog, for had he not beeh caller on
Medina? He determined to go to her
window that night, and in the light of
the pale moon beg her to fly with him
ers and speckled bulldogs are un-
mothers elothes-line, which, in his i'm
agination, he wove into rope ladder,
he hied himself to the spot. The moon
was shining down through the naples
in front of the house. As he approach
ed he softly opened the front gate, on.
which he and his love had SO often
swung; never did it seem to creak SO
loudly; would she be looking for him;
would she heed his voice; he would
strike up that little song in which they
had oftentimes joined in tuneful melo-
dy. He got SO far as ''There's land
that is fairer''- "Sic 'em Maie," came
from behind clump of lilacs. MAZE
sicked, and the young man sickened as
he climbed for that fence. 1t was nip
and tuck, resulting in "nip" in the
rear of that 'stuck" the seat out of his
uninentionables, along with portion of
his coat-taiis. How he got over that
fence will never be known except to the
dog, who smiles in a CHASTITY manner
whenever his young mistress strikes up
that memorable tune, 1.-The Sweet BY
and By"
Year: 1878

More tons of iron and steel were
rolled in this country last year than in
that during which the panic fell upon
the country. Everybody isn't out OF
work after all. Moreover, millions of
acres more of wheat and corn are being
cultivated this year than in 1878, SO
everybody can't be starving.
Year: 1878

ADooMED BoY.-Some of these beau
tiful evenings man with wilted col
lar and a sprinkled coat will mutter an
old fashioned bit of profanity between
his teeth; he will scud swiftly across
the sweet; he will pick up the boy that
is manipulating the side walk hose; he
will twist his head around fige times;
he will jam his head into crack in the
fence and kick his whole body through
after it, and then the boy will learn
that it is not right nor safe to glue his
eyes into the top of a tree while he
sprinkles the streets, the sidewalks and
the citizens, indiscriminately: and par
tally. Mind, we do not advocate the
reckless, extravagant or wanton killing
Of boys, but these are revolutionary
times and the temper-of a down-trod-
den people is restless and unsafe.
Havkeye.
Year: 1878

A Buy AND A SELL.--Operator (apropos of
customers beard :" Yes great improvement indeed
SIR since You took Balm Of lllyria or course You
will Try another bottle g. Customer (drilJl mo,
thanks; haven't tried the first yet"


A little girl who was somewhat out OF sorts,
but whose exact ailment had been able TO dis
cover amended her evening prayer OF God bless papa
and mamma" by adding and cure me II there's any
thing the matter with me "
Year: 1878

Some damage done In the city by lightning ana the
crops especially wheat, which is now heading, fruit
trees and in fact all vegetation. suffered seriously The
course OF the storm from west 30 east. covering
belt not more than q mile wide. Local storms or SIM
lar visited nearly every section OF ts
state during the past few days causing considefaDe
dam
Year: 1878

The Herald Steam Printing House is
not surpassed by any Job Printing Office
on the Pacific Coast, outside of San Fran.
cisco. in facilities for doing job work,
Low prices, good work and expedition


may be relied upon at this office.
Year: 1878

A correspondent writes as follows
from Colorado: Every ranchman is
armed with a repeating rife, q shotgun
and revolver-although many do not
carry their revolvers. L hardly ever
carry mine In the.ev of q quarrel
an unarmed man stands more show for
his life, for no matter how great des-
perado may be the man, he never shoots
an unarmed man. The question is
asked: care you heeled ?" meaning
armed. You answering to the contrary,
they will Immediately put up. their
weapons. Stealing here is sure death
to the one getting caught at it. Two
weeks ago a party of us went up into
the mountains prospecting for minerals
in new gulch, and on our way found
man hanging to a tree who bad been
dead some days, with paper pinned on
his shirt simply stating " Horse thief. 4"
These things strike terror to the thieves.
Three nights ago three desperate.look-
ing men aroused me in the night, and
said they were looking for horse thief
and we're tired. invited them TO stay
all night. They Immediately made
themselves at home, cooking their own
supper. l finally asleep, leaving them
playing poker, 81 corner. They de-
parted early the next morning, and, I
learned, came up with their man and
shot him. 1t is remarkable to think
that a man may shoot his neighbor and
nothing be said, but let him steal any
thing and he must die. 1t is one of the
peculiar ideas of the men on the borders
that every man must protect his life,
and not the law, But there is a good
class of people now settling up this
country; slowly but surely, their ideas
will bring law and order.
Year: 1878

A gentleman in Sussex, Eng, had a
cat which showed the greatest affection
for young blackbird, which was given
to her by a stable-boy for food day or
two after she had been deprived of her
kittene. She tended it with the greatest
care they became inseparable compan-
ions, and no mother could show q great
er fondness for her offspring than she
did for the bird.


Lemmery shut up cat and several
mice together in a case. The mice in
time got to be very friendly, and pluck
ed and nibbled at their feline friend.
When any of them gr9w troublesome,
she would gently box their ears.


A German magazine tells OF Mr..
Hecart who placed tame sparrow unS 4
the protection Of wildcat. Another
cat attacked the sparrow, which was at
the most critical moment rescued by it's
protector. During the sparrow's subse-
quent illness its natural foe watched
over it with great tenderness. The
same authority gives an instance of a
cat trained like a watchdog to keep
guard over yard containing hare and
some sparrows, blackbirds and part
ridges.


A pair of carriage horses taken to
water at stone trough, then standing
St one end of the Manchester exchange,
We're followed by dog who was in the
habit OF lying in the stall of one Of
them. AS he gamboled on in front the
creature was suddenly attacked by q
mastiff far too strong for his power of
resistance, and it would have gone hard
with him but for the unlooked-for inter-
vention of his stable companion, which,
breaking loose from the man who was
leading it, made for the battling dogs,
and with one well-delivered kick sent
the mastiff into a cooper's cellar, and
then quietly returned to the trough and
finished his drink. In very sensible fash
ion, too, did Mrs. Bland's half-Danish
dog, Traveller, show his affection for his
mistress pet pony. The latter had been
badly hurt, and when we'll enough to
be turned into field, was visited there
by it's fair owner and regaled with car
rots and other delicacies Traveller, for
his part, never failing to fetch one or
two windfall apples from the garden,
laying them on the grass before the
pony, and hailing its enjoyment of
them with the liveliest demonstrations
of delight.


That such relations should exist be-
tween the horse and the dog seems
natural enough. But that horse should
be hail-fellow with a hen appears too
absurd to be true F; yet we have Gilbert
Whites word for it that horse, lacking
more suitable companions. struck up
friendship with hen, aud displayed
immense qualification when she rubbed
against his legs and clucked a greeting,
while he moved with the greatest eau
ton lest he might trample on his " lit
te, little friend'-@an1ber'S.
Year: 1878

The true girl has to be sought for.
She does not parade herself as show
goods. She is not fashionable. Gen
orally, she is not rich. But, oh what
a heart she has when you find her so
large and pure and womanly. When
you see it you wonder if those snowy
things outside were women. If you
gain her love your two thousand are
millions. She'll not ask you for a car
riage or frst-class house. She'll wear
simple dresses, and turn them when
necessary, with no vulgar magnificat to
froWn upon her economy. She'll keep
everything neat and nice in your sky
parlor, and give you such a welcome
when you come home that you'll think
your parlor higher than ever. She'll
entertain true friends on a dollar, and
astonish you with the new thought how
little happiness depends on money.
She'll make you love home Gf you don't
you're a brute), and teach you how to
pity, while you scorn poor, fashionable
society that thinks itself rich, and Vainly
tries to think itself happy. OliUer Ven
deI HslnsS.
Year: 1878

Dry goods-Codfish.


High schools-Seven-story academies.


Poor policy-One that is repudiated
by the insurance company.


"One-half of the world don't know
how the other half lives, and what is
more, it don't care.


The attention of the public, which
has been oentered on the base ball bat
ter all simmer, will now be turned to
the contemplation of pancake batter.


When a man is hanging by his toes
from the cornice of high building, and
expects momentarily to drop, nothing so
completely treasures and so thoroughly
satisfies him as the sudden discovery
that he is safely home in bed.


care fat people healthy?" is head
line that stares us in the face in every
other exchange we pick mp. Who cares
whether they are healthy or not? AS
long as we are not cannibals, it would
be wiser TO investigate whether beans
are healthy.
Year: 1878

was startled by the announcement that
their pastor was lying at Ispranitz's
cottage in state of Inconsistencies.
Men, women and children Aocked to the
spot, and all did what they were able in
aid of the priests recovery, For days
he lay delirious, and while the fever was
burning up his frame he raved of the
open tomb of old Francis KrSnszloft,
the midnight marriage and the shot
which probably sent some poor creature
to eternity.


" Alas !" sighed the simple people,
"our good pastor has lost his reason,
heaven grant it may be restored to him
again"


It was nearly month ere the priest
was able to leave his couch. Among the
first things he did when he was able to
converse, was to tell the story of the
midnight marriage. But his hearers
gazed at each other with incredulous
glances, believing the old man was bereft
OF his wits. After awhile, however, he was
able to leave John Ispranitz's cottage,
and then he assembled the people, and
they proceeded to the church in body.
A careful inspection of the slab of the
vault, showed that it had been recently
displaced.


Suddenly new purpose seized the
minds of the villagers. Spades and crow
bars were at once at hand, and the vault
was quickly uncovered.


The first object that met their gaze
was a richly ly-mounted coffin reposing by
the crumbling remains of that which
held the ashes of Krynszloft. To raise
the lid was only the work of a few mo-
ments, and then they beheld, still with
perfect features, the body of beautiful
woman with wound directly in the
region of the heart.


Never had such a cry of terror and
anguish echoed within those walls.
The clothing on the body was of the
finest and most expensive description,
but it exhibited no mark by which clue
could be formed to unravel the dreadful
deed that had been Committed.


The priest, however, considered it
his duty to make the whole affair known
to his bishop, who resided at Helsing-
fors, and he in turn communicated the
attested facts to the government authori-
ties.


In due time came back message not
to revive the matter again, coupled
with warning that the inhabitants of
Biornborg would do well to interest
themselves no further in the strange
affair.


*


Some years later, a naval vessel ap-
peared off the coast and landed party
of armed men, who proceeded to the
church, keeping all the people at dis.
tance by placing guards in the vicinity.


When night fell they were heard at
work, and ere morning dawned they had
embarked, carrying with them burden
covered by pail.


The few people who were curious
enough to get glimpse of the departure
of the party, stated that the persons en-
ployed showed the most profound re-
spect and reverence to the object they
bore away to their barge.


AS soon as the ship was well in the
offing, the excited villagers again open
ed the tomb, but they only beheld the
accustomed remains of old Francis
Krynszloft.


That midnight marriage forever re-
mained mystery. National Standard.
Year: 1878

Notwithstanding the entire absence
timber or vordure of any kind upon tA
mountains along the Colorado rive
they are ever-changing objects of beass
and interest, and the longer and me
studiously you gaze upon them,
more completely are You lost in adm
tion of them. In the evening, in t1
interval Just before and immediately
ter the decline of the great orb of da'
these earth. giants point up their ragge
edges and grotesqUe columns againat
canopy that is a marvel of celestial ce
oriDg. At this time of the year
clouds sail maieshcally over the mcH
tain tops. From sunrise until wi
an hour of sunset the imperial do
seems like a great sapphire suspea
over the world. Then the easia
mountains and the horizon above assuu
a most exquisite tint of something b
tween purple and maroon, while Il
elevations on the west and the horizt
above color up in lilac and gold. ale
moments after sunset the whole heave'
and mountains upon either side assu
lavender hue. So perfect and 50 do
cate are the tracings of these moun
outlines against the sky at this pe
of the evening, that the entranced n
follows them as readily as if they


just so many artistic peneilings M
maNor parchment. Yet all this


in COMPARISON with the mirage on q IA
morning, which cuts up these


mountains into castlaS cathoo
fortresses, esplanades gardens,


ests, and every other imaginable l'i
or topples them over, or suspends


in the air at will. One can water


beautiful effects of mirage in this


try with more delightful aviditg


any other one thing that can M
sented.