Year: 1879

should have had some assistance at


hand; but | am an unimaginative


individual, taking things as they


come, so L said good night, went TO


my room, and locked the door as


usual. When my preparations for


the night were complete, took my


new friend out of its pretty little


morocco case, and filled the syringe


only about two thirds full of the so.


luton, for such we're my DOCTOR 8


orders, as had never previously


taken morphine in any way; it Is TO


this precaution l probably owe my


life. Then, according to instruc-


tion, plnched up a piece of the


calf of my leg between the finger


and thumb of my left hand, inserted


the point of the tube under the skin


with a dexterity which l remember


pleased me at the time, as thought


what a skillful surgeon might have


been lost TO suffering humanity by


the untoward circumstances of my


early life, and gently introduced


into my system the magic fluid


which was to relieve me OF all suf-


fering. 1t did It with a vengeance,


and with unexpected rapidly, too.


The first sensation was as of
something not belonging to me
crawling under my skin add mount
ing rapidly up my back bone, spread
ing thence all over my body as it
went. This was not at, all painful
TO me, nor was / at all alarmed by
10, for, though certainly very pech
liar, | took 10 all at first as part OF
the programme, aud troubled my
self no more about it than so far as
to hastily unlock the door, think
ing, "Fhere is no telling how long 1
shall sleep, and if dent open the
door in the morning they will be
frightened"


BY this time the crawling feeling
had mounted the back of my neck.
L could trace it as it moved; my
limbs were beginning TO refuse TO
serve me; was obliged TO totter TO
the bed without putting out my
light, for though not the least
sleepy, should have fallen had !
not held myself by chairs and tables.
There l lay, eyes wide open, senses
all alive, quite out of pain, but no
idea OF going TO sleep. When the
crawling thing, whatever it was,
reached the back of my head, il
seemed to give a slight blow to that
part, and Immediately / lost all
power over my limbs. Still l re-
tanned perfect consciousness. !


heard the movements going on in
different parts of the house. / saw
the moon rise and peer in at one of
the windows, and l remembered
with a slight feeling of annoyance
that the light would come in full


upon my bed through another win
dow, the curtain of which l had


neglected to pull down. If / had


seen burglars breaking into the


room / could not have moved nor
spoken. | was not troubled much
about this, however, nor indeed
about anything else on earth.
watched my symtoms with care and
interest, though what was coming
next / could not guess. The only
feeling of concern about anything
that l remember was a thought that
arose IN my mind like this: "What
a horrible fuss E1ie will make when
she finds me in this state" Even
this did not trouble me much, for it
really did not seem to be any busi-
ness Of mine.


By degrees, but so slowly as TO
be hardly noticeable, 1 lost all con
sciousness of my extremities. At
first, though i could not control
them, l was quite aware that / had
hands and feet, as a man in perfect
Health knows IL without either
them or feeling pleasure
or pain in them. Now L seemed 60
lose them, TO go from them, or
rather shrink from them, as from
sensible contact with foreign
body, more into myself. This pc
,uliar loss of consciousness extend
I'd very gradually up my limbs.
Still l had my senses; my eyes were
open. / could see everything
lround me. / could hear as well
IS ever. My mind was clear and
tranquil. / was neither
nor agitated, nor anxious,
Tor, i must confess, was impressed
With any peculiar solemnity attach
ng to the occasion. Perhaps this
vas owing TO my habitual matter
,f-iact disposition. 1 seemed Co
myself just as complete without any
rms and legsas when 1 had them.


Little by little / lost my body,
nd with equal indifference. Wheth-
II my heart ceased TO beat or my
ungs to breathe at this time can
lot tell you, for l had no means Of
moving, but il they had did not
eem TO miss them. Soon I was
one up 10 my eek. Then, and
.Ot till then, my senses began Co
row dim. First, my sight, not as
y the closing Of my eyes, but OBJ
ects disappeared, leaving only the
Impression Of light upon the eye;
ben that, too, faded, and finally no
onsciousness Of the organ re.
lained. My hearing was still with
he, or with It, whichever you pre-
sr TO say. Soon il, too, left me.
lead, face, body, senses, all seemed
except a feeling
weight in my tongue and round
pot in the back Of my head where


had previously felt the blow.
hen my tongue went, and the
,und spot was all that was left, yet
lis seemed just as absolutely and
me as ever my whole
Ddy had been.


This state continued apparently


long while, during which re-
ember wondering what DIR. s.
ould say when he saw me, hoping
. would not meet with any annoy
ice about his share Of the transac-
on. AS TO anxiety about worldly
! any other affairs, fear for the fu-
ire, memory instantaneously flash
x before me the events Of my
hole life down TO the minutest
we are told IL some
mes does-I had no such expert
ice, and l. admit / cannot now
the state was then in
ith anything like the compOsure i