Year: 1879

Twas alone in the world. or 1 thought
| was, which amounted to pretty much
the same in its mental and moral effects
My mother died when L was so young
that l had only shadowy remembrance
of a pale face and long, last clasp to
her loving heart. had been my fathers
pet and darling, and now he was dead
too, and his will had consigned me, Just
like bale of goods, to the care and
guardianship of his brother, doctor
whose home lay among the picturesque
mountains of Cumberland.


was too impulsive," said the will
and would throw myself and my mon
ey away before knew the value of Ell.
ther, if l had no one to take care of me ;
and so, when my poor father died in
the South of France, where we had gone
to winter, Uncle Ritson, who came barely
in time to lay him in his foreign grave
carried me off at once to his house ON the
bleak hillside, gave me kiss as he lifted
me out of the stuffy vehicle which had
conveyed us from the station, presented
me to my aunt and cousins with well
here's Adela" and told me to consider
myself "at home"


1t was the beginning of January, in
tensely cold. The sudden change from a
warmer climate had sensibly affected
me; was chilled under all my furs, and
perhaps more chilled by the restraining
influence of my fathers will, having pom
dered the too impulsive" all through
the journey.


Certainly, was not "tOo impulsive'
70,


Aunt and cousins had met me on the
threshold with warm welcome, pressed
me to remove my wraps and to make me
comfortable. There was huge fire
blazing on the hearth, tea-table piled
with north country luxurieS, and all
that should have made me feel at home
but sonething was wanting, and instead
of responding to their greetings in my
own natural fashion, / dropped into a
seat, after the first glance aronnd, and
covering my face with my hands, burst
into tears.


l have small, thin, quick ears. l over
heard Aunt RitsOn whisper to Bella and
Winnie, as she drew them back:


Hush! It's but natural, poor bairn
Leave your cousin alone, lasses; she
will come to herself all the sooner.


And l did come to myself; but wheth-
Ell my tears had fallen frostily on their
hot hearth, or we travellers had brought
a chill in with us, or my own manner
did not invite effuSiOn, certain air of
restraint seemed to grow upon us; and
when l was shown to the room set apart
for me, and left to myself, l flung myself
upon my bed and sObbed in passionate
grief for my dead father, declaring that
was alone in the world, utterly alone.


And this feeling grew upon me. Look
ing back, am conscious that it was
much my own fault that l had not re-
SpOnded with sufficient warmth and
gratitude to the relatives who had made
room in their household for one they
had not seen since she was baby, and
had met with open arms and hearts.


They had heard that l was gushing
and exuberant, a creature of impulse,
and finding me reserved and languid,
concluded that l, accustomv,, 70 elegance
and luxury, could not brook the hOmeli-
ness and retirement of my lew life. ]
was rich, and they were not They mis-
took my morbid melancholy for pride,
and ceased to press their society or atten-
ton upon me, lest 1 should attribute to
them mercenary motives.


l see it all now, but then 1 was blind.
| had another grief at my heart besides
sorrow for my dead parent. and l fear
whenever my thoughts flew to that lone
ly grave among the Pyrenees, 1 question
ed the policy which had isolated me
from the world-the world in which my
nd M oH uau
free soul among those unrespOnsive
walls of stone.


In this rhapsody / did not apOstrOphiZe
alone the four walls of the solid stone
house that, set against the mountain
side, with background of pine, larch
and mountain ash, looked so cold and
gray, staring with it's many lidless eyes
from its rocky perch above the strag-
Cling lake village, on the steep, unguard-
ed roadway in front, and the narrow
strips of garden grounds stretched like
green arms on either side.


No. / held converse with the noun
tainS. They were to me the barriers
between love and life and happiness, but
it was only on their solitary heights ]
felt free to give the feeling utterance.
The thrifty household ways of my aunt
and cousins, which kept them very bu-
sy, were strange to me. My dainty fin
gers had no acquaintance with rolling
pin or paste-bOard. 1t was not who
kept so bright the mirror in which l saw
my own beauty, aye, and my own un-
happiness reflected. l was supposed to
be mourning, and, with mistaken delica-
cy, was left to do-nothing.


Had Uncle RitsOn known it, or how |
spent my time, he would have shaken
me up like bottle of physic, and l
should have been the better for it. But
whether on foot, or horseback, or in his
ancient gig, he was off in the morning,
and frequently was absent all the day.
His patients were scattered and his
rounds extended.


/, having no occupation for hands or
energies, feeling myself something apart
from the rest, was off and away up the
breezy hillsides to the lonely margin of
the lake, or into the most secluded glens,
my only companion my faithful dog,
and there where there was only the
wind to answer me, poured forth all
the pent-up feelings of my heart; and
oft my gusts of passion found utterance
in song. At times l took pencil and
sketch-boOk with me in these wander
ings; but there was ever one figure in
the foreground of the most picturesque
scene, and often enough the figure was
there alone, the adjuncts all forgotten.


At first Bella or Winnie had borne me
company, but think they saw my long
ing to be alone, and had my way; not
without many cautions from my aunt.


What were perils to me, chaing
against the restraint of my fathers will.
crying from the depths of my inmost
heart for the banished love, who would
never find me in these solitudes, and
longing for wings to traverse land and
sea until found my home on his faith
full bosom?


Lost in distractions, all danger was
forgotten, and 1 had paid the penalty
but for guardian angel little dreamed
of.


My first peril was from the mountain
mist, which came down and around me
with bewildering suddenness, blOtting