Year: 1879

| A young man who had long and
dearly loved beautiful girl on Warren
avenue besought of her recently to name
| the happy day, which she did with such
! fond, reluctant delay that it would
| hardly have been thought that she had
made up her mind what the date was to
| be more than two months before, so soon
as she saw that he meant biz. They ac-
cordingly waited upon the author of her
being, and, going down on their knees,
acquainted him with the lay of the land
and besought of him his blessing. He
was practical and economical old man.
with a mind fertile of lesource, and when
the young man had stammered that he
loved her dearer than his life and had a
salary of $500, and that he hoped
the old man caught up his trusty Toledo
(O.) walking-stick, and, calling his pro-
spective son-in-law many hard names,
drove him out of the house; then
seizing his daughter by her tiny
shel-lac ear he awayed with her
to the deepest bedroom beneath the
attic roof and locked her in there.
What was the consequence? That very
night young man came with rope
ladder, an ample cloak and marriage
license, and stole his bride away, and
they were made one at n west-side
churcn. The young woman said to her
husband: "Algernon, my father be-
haved toward you as mean as all get-out;
still he was my mothers husband, and
we ought to have some Difference for
him, so let us go to him and tell him we
are welded, and ask his blessing. Be
sides | want to get my comb bag that /
left on the bureau. "Well, I'll 60"
said the young husband; "but, mind
you, Matilda, if he lays hand on me
save in the way of kindness. I'll knock
his two eyes into one. Isu ffered his pre-
vious indignities because he was the
hoary. headed author of your being; now
he is only my bald-headed old father
in-law, and 1 won't stand it, if he is
three times as old as l am" Accord
ingly they went home, and when they
got there, and were excitedly feeling for
the bell-pull, the old man opened the
door and said, "Come in, come in.
How's the blushing bride, Ell? Bless
you, my children. Now, by the time
we have partaken of refreshments the
hack VIII be here to convey you down
town or to any railroad depot you may
be pleased to Indicate" They followed
the old man into the parlor like people
in dream. q was afraid once" he
said, cheerfully, "when l saw Matilda
coming down that ladder that the blame
thing would break-for she's full sixteen
ounces to the pound, Matilda is-and
drive all my new rose bushes and tulips
into the ground. Why on earth didn't
you, when you were compelled to flee
from my wrath, clone out of the front
doorp | left Matilda's dungeon-cell
unlocked and | left the front door aiar.
| went to the foot of the stairs and
snored at the top of my voice so as to
give you every facility" DO you
mean to say, venerable and respected
sir" said his new-made son-in-law,
that you have and have had no objec-
, TONS to n my paying my addresses to your
world" replied the old man, beaming
blandly on them; "you are the sOn-in-
law | should have picked out of mil
lions, if l had been permitted to choose,
and even had l not been satisfied of your
worth and sObriety could not have
found it in my heart to refuse to do what
Matilda desired me to do" "Then,
sir" exclaimed the young husband,
thinking that perhaps he had married
into family having the hereditary taint
of insanity in. the blood, "then, sir,
what did you give p e the grand bounce
for in such an energetic and inconsistent
y,


said the good old man, Il saw that if
did you would instantaneously take out
n license and elope with the girl, and get
married at an expense OF $3.50, borne
exclusively by you, whereas if the mar
riage took place in the ordinary course
of events I would have been stuck for
trousseau, and dresses, and flowers, and
deeat11eT, and presents, and so on to
the extent of at least 50, 500. You will
find $1,000 in this pocketbook for ex-
penses during your bridal trip; the re-
manning 81, 800 | am in, and they are
but the legitimate reward of my ingenu-
ity. You will surely not object to pay
ing such a price for four months more
Of welded bliss than you would have
otherwise enjoyed, and for the chance
of beginning your married life in a ro-
mantle manner" They couldn't, of
course Chicago Tribune