Year: 1877

STORY THE FIRsT.-HERBERT GRAY's.


| suppose IL was the rain beating M
the window-panes. and the wind rat.
tling the bare branches against the stone
wall, and the far-off sobbing of the win
try sea, that made me so low-spirited
That night, for certainly had nothing
I'm particular to terrify me. However
that may have been, / was indescribably
wretched, without any special reason.
l could not read. | did not want To
smoke. L had no desire to answer any
OF those neglected letters that seemed to
stare at me reproachfully over the rim
OF the little carved letter-rack on the
mantelpiece. / could not do ANYTHING
but draw my chair before the fire and
lie back in 1T contemplatively and brood.


we are swept along by the tide of
time as a general thing, scarcely know
ing what ugly things cling to us and
change our nature as we float from
youth to age; but now and then, sun
pose, every one pauses and contemplates
the past and the present, and what they
have made of him. did that night, l
know; and | knew soon that / was al
tered lor the worse, and / trusted less and
doubted more hated more men and
women, and loved fewer of them.


Indeed, i grew frightened at myself,
as l might have been had n skeleton
showed its face, instead of some young.
bright, happy, living man whom had
called for. Was this i? Really Il?
Had the cynicism, at first forced upon
me by the falsehood and ingratitude of
others, become nightmare? Was nv
old self dead? My old self. / nut
back the hair from my forehead and
pressed my hands upon it, and tried TO
see that old self. He came before me.


very young man, with blue eyes
and pale-brown hair, with merry laugh
and a hopeful heart-a man who was in
love with the most beautiful. the sweet.
est and truest girl under the blue sky.


Could | trust any woman so now?


tried not to answer truly, but one is
forced to be frank with oneself, and the
reply was "No." 1t must be ten wears
ago that she Tilted me in the coidest.
cruel way, leaving me to learn that she
had held faith with me from the first
that she simply made Jest of me.
And |, surely had no love for her left:
but it had been impossible for me to love
any one else. 1t always would be-al-
ways. Once life without love was only
udiilc LOT WGtlCDe0ueSS.


Then j tried to remember her face.
At first could not do it, but by-and-by
IT arose before me so palpabIy that I al
most seemed TO see il with my ewes. II
was dark face, like gypsy's, and very
beautiful under its clouds OF black hair
1t seemed to come close to me and pout
its lips for kiss


knew / actually saw nothing. hut I
trembled and stretched out my arms.
Then it was gone. / could not recall it
again. Whenever ] strove to do 80 /
could only think of white, frightened
face--a face that might have been like
that gypsy face once.


hope ] am not going mad" / said
to myself. 81 do not know wbv I
should let myself sink into this horrible
condition. / must be i'll, or going to be
So"


For ] knew very well that strange
sensation of terror was so strong upon
me that | would not have gone to the
door and locked out upon a long dark
corridor there was outside for any bribe
that could have been offered me.


A glass of wine may restore me" /
said to myself, and | went TO my cabi-
net and brought out my decanter and a
glass.


] knew before that though wine drank
IN good company might raise the spirits.
taken in solitary state as a dose Of med
icine it would not avail much. II GER
tainly did not then. / was more
wretched than ever II could not be
that IL was about this girl that had been
cast out Of my heart ten years before
that was now making myself unhappv.


will read" / said to myself. ~
will become absorbed in something
and ! took from my shelves book
Of which ! was very fond and opened
it.


IL was full Of illustrations, and one
side of The page on which each picture
was printed was, as matter Of course.
quite blank. ] happened to open at one
OF these, and my eye, a. n natural con
sequence, rested on the white paper. in
stead Of columns of words.


To my astonishment, ~ + looked ab-
sently at It, ] saw singular shadow
cross il. II seemed az though hand had
been held between itand the light. knew
the door was locked, and that no one
could have entered but I looked mn
half expecting to see some one standino
beside me. When ] turned my eyes 10
the page again, J saw not face. but n
profile. IL was very faint but il was
perfect and the features we're those of
the girl ! had been thinking Of. In
moment that too was gone and