Year: 1867

General.


/ | am in possession of what the world general,


considers the highest favors of fortune. / hav


risen to distinguished rank in my profession


my wealth is more than commensurate with m,


desires; my friends, l may say without presump


tion, are zealously attached to me; and all these


blessings are enhanced by the enjoyment of un


Interrupted good health. Reputation and al


honorary addition to my name are the rewards o.


my achievements. But alas! there is always
| something to mar our enjoyments- fata
| remembrance, some sorrow that throws it's bleak
| shade alike over our joys and our woes by
| one overwhelming evil all my blessings are rem,
dered of no avail. When l look round me- and
see my fields rich with harvests, my lawns green
with verdure, and remember that they were ac-
quired from generous and grateful country, a
pang shoots through my heart, and feel, with
the writings of humiliation and remorse, that [
have not deserved it's favors; that have raised
myself by life of hypocrisy; and, in short, that
these honors and riches which were heaped upon
me as the rewards of my bravery and resolution,
have been bestowed upon a coward. Yes, on one
of the most nerveless and pussillanimous of hu-
man beings.


My youth was the most miserable period of my
existence. My unresisting and easily intimidated
character made me the slave of any one who
chose to domineer over me. Many consultations
were held to my future destination. Ny
father, good, easy man, spoke in favor of the
church but my mother, who was woman of
spirit, and whose father had been an officer of
considerable reputation, would hear of no other
profession for me but the army. Their differ
ence of opinion produced the result which might
naturally have been expected, namely, complete
submission on the part of my father; and at last
it was decided that their only hope should gain
everlasting aures as soldier. This resolution
took me entirely by surprise My dreams at
night were of nothing but wounds and blood.
At length found myself appointed to lieuten-
ancy in regiment Of infantry; and my fears, as
the day of my departure approached, amounted
to agony. The trepdation of my mind on the


The day fixed for my joining the regiment at
last came on, and my courage was, if possible,
diminished by every hour that passed. The in
PRODUCTION to my brother officers it is useless to
describe Most of them were young and mex
perienced like myself; but, unlike me, they were
all filled to overfowing with enthusiasm for the
service and anticipations of future glory.


As the town of -, at which we were sta
toned, is situated on river, many parties were
of course formed for boating; and, when the
weather grew warm, for bathing ALSO | have
always had horror of the water; but [ was
aware that accidents might occur, however care
fully guarded against, lost no time in providing
myself with sustaining belt. In spite, however,
of this precaution-and [ was assured it was
amply sufficient to support even two men in the
water-I most sedulously avoided joining my
messmates in any of their excursions. One day,
when [ was walking quietly by the side of the
river 1 came on a branch of the stream, form
ing large water-tank through the field ; and
over this, which was of considerable width,
plank laid across acted as bridge As was
carefully stepping along this rickety pathway, |
was arrested by the shouts of my regimental
friends, who were amusing themselves, as the
day was oppressively warm, by bathing in this
secluded part of the river. [ stopped on the
plank and watched their motions for some time,
and could not help envying them their cour-
age in trusting themselves so carelessly as they
did in the very deepest part of the stream. Not
for all the wealth Of California could | have pre-
vailed ON myself (guarded as was with the sus-
tanning belt, which constantly wore) to have
done the same. There was horror in the very
thought; and | going to continue my walk
across the ditch, and retire from so dangerous
vicinity, when | was thrilled by cry Of agony
from the water beneath where | stood. looked





which l have spoken, [ saw Tom Wilson, the
liveest and kndest- hearted of our set evidently
in the greatest danger. He had crept quietly
under the sedges at the side, in order to come
upon me by surprise; but unluckily, on arriving
almost under the bridge he was seized with the
cramp in both legs. He looked up to me in the
greatest despair. 'Save me, save mep' he cried
in an agony-'sOh save meY and sunk below
the water apparently quite exhausted. A thou
sand though rushed into my brain; / saw his
head and pale brow, after coming up for mo-
ment to 90 down a second time; dimness fell
upon my eyes, faintness came over lay spirit,
and, in the intensity of my apprehension l lost
my balance, and fell into the hole where my poor
friend was struggling. A little recalled to my
recollection by the plunge, I grasped convulsively
at the nearest object, and, supported by my belt,
| made directly for the land. Instinctively [
cambered up the bank, still clinching the object
[ had seized in the water. just saw it was the
arm of poor Wilson, and that / had saved him !!
when again my terrors overcame me, and tainted.


When I recovered my senses, was saluted
with shouts of Bravo, bravoP Slowly opened
my eyes, and found myself surrounded by my
friends Wilson was still chafng my temples,
and calling me his deliverer, and pouring forth
the most profuse expressions of his gratitude.
Ihough Still snuqderlng at my MARIO" escape,
expressed in few words my happiness at having
been the instrument of his preservation but
told him at the same time, with truth, that my
exertions had scarcely besn voluntary and that
as was quite unable to swim, it was only over
powering necessity which obliged me to plunge
into the river The fame of this exploit soop
spread through the somewhat contracted circle
of the town Of; my total ignorance of swim
ming enhapced the merit of my heroic contempt