smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1867

A few days since, dignifed person,
with the bearing and genteel appearance
of country merchant, stepped into a
wholesale store in the city of Norwich,
Conn, and, in bland tone and insinua-
ting manner, inquired of the proprietor,
1t he sold gin by the barrel, at what price
| and if it was good article. He Would
like to see a sample.


Proprietor drew large sized tumbler
full. Country merchant tasted.


"Ah!" said he, as he smacked his lips
with just suspicion of delight, CHATS
good gin. What can you let me have
barrel of that for %


Proprietor named the price.


Remarkably good gin," said he, tax
ing another sip. 'That reminds me of
some gin bought in 1885, and he wens
on with long story about that particu-
lar gin, stopping occasionally to try the
sample until it was all gone but swal-
low. The story finished, he tossed off
the balance of it, and remarked that he
liked the gin, and would come in and
leave his order after making few pus-
chases elsewhere, left the store.


An hour afterward, while the propric-
tor was waiting upon some customers,
the gin buyer returned, and this time
tackled one of the clerks with:


81 have got to buy some gin to day,
and if you have got frst-rate article L
should like to see sample of it,


Another large sized tumbler full was
forthcoming, and the old fellow tasted Of
it. Then be turned it round, held it up
to the light, and tasted again. Then he
smacked his lips, inquired the price, and
took another sip. Then he remarked
that it was very cold weather and took s.
good swallow. Then he commented on
the gin, and INDUCED in few reflections
upon how much more gin cost now than
it did in 1888. He kept on talking and
he kept on drinking. and the clerk kept
on waiting to consumate the trade.


lie was such dignifed man, and was
so evidently good judge of, as we'll as a
large dealer in gin, that the clerk was.
not disposed to hurry him. But as he,
was taking down the last swallow, the;
proprietor came around.


''Look here, sir; do you want to buy
my gin ?"


The old fellows dignity melted in an.
instant. Putting his hand in his over
coat, he drew out pint bottle, and in.
the meckest and mildest voice imagin-
able replied:


Yes, q half pint in this bottle"
Year: 1867

A man was convicted last Wednesday,
in Philadelphia court, on charge of
assault aud battery on lady. The as
sault was novel, From the top of house
he cast the reflection of the sun in the
eyes of the lady with piece of looking
glass, The jury very properly decided
it crime committed after due reflection.
Year: 1867

The argument, as to whether the pla'ntin
mus. be bound exclusively BY the terms OF
the policy was continued this morning, the
counsel for the prosecution contending that
the defense had By the action Of their agent
forfeited the right to put in such plea
At halt past eleven the Court decided the
point ia favor Of the plaintiff, and the ex-
animation Of Mr.. j. NJ. E!dridgc was re-
sumcd until twelve o'clock when the Coa's
took the noon recess.
Year: 1867

w ARE ISroRaEp that the river rose over
two feet last night If it continues to rise
the ice cannot last long, and even now it is
unsafe to venture Oh it. Above the hridsc
near the foot OF the rapids the river is clear,
while below the bridge i; is breaking away
and commencing to jam. We may look for
an early opening OF navigation this Spring
Year: 1867

To remove freckles cut them
out with a azorand throw them
away. They win never return.


To bring out a mustache, tie
to it a strong cord, twenty feet
long, to the other end of which
attach-a a heavy smoothing-iron,
and throw the latter from q
fourth story window.


To procure a fair complex
ion, go to sea in a crazy old
boat, and the first gale you get
into your face will become
white.


To get rid of red hair, hold
your head for few minutes in
a strong blaze ofgas.


To preserve your eyes, put
them in a bottle filed with al
chohol.


To avoid corpulence, quit
eating.


To conceal bad teeth, keep
your mouth shut.


To keep out Of debt, acquire
the reputation Of a rascal, and
no one will trust you.


To keep your name up, write
It It frequently on the dome of the
Capitol, the State House stee-
pie, and other high places.


10 become a competent book
keeper, borrow all the books
you can and never return them.


10 "raise the stamps" say a
funny thing on the stage.


To keep your doors from be-
ing broken open by burglars,
don't close them.


To keep out of a fight, stay
by yourself.


To gain time, steal watch.


To keep from suffering, don't
talk.
Year: 1867

BENEFITS OF ADvERsITY.-A
smooth sea never made a skillful
mariner neither do uninterrupted
prosperity and success qualify for
usefulness or happiness. The
storms of advorsity, like the storms
OF the ocean. arouse the faculties
excite the invention, prudence
skill and fortitude Of the voyager
The martyrs and confessors Of an
cient times, in braoing their mindl
to outward calamity, acquired 4
loftiness Of PURPOSE, q moral hero
ism, that was worth o life Of soft
ness and security.
Year: 1867

The Copperhcad party having
vehemently opposed granting the
ballot to soldiers in the field, its
opposition to denying the privilege
to those who deserted them is very
natural and consistent. A soldier
who stands by his flag has no bust
ness with the franchise, bat to one
who deserts it the ballot belongs as
a sacred right. Such is gospel ac-
cording to Democracy Delarors
Gazette;
Year: 1867

ATTEMPT TO ROB A Boston BANK.-A dar-
ing attempt to rob ohe of the STATE street
banks was made in Boston on Wednesday. A
gentleman doing business with the bank left a
trunk containing bonds TO a large amount be-
hind the counter. A few minutes after the
trunk was missed, and AT the same moment q
man was seen going out the door with it under
his arm. An alarm was given, when the thief
quietly put the trunk down ana gained the
street. where he was soon lost TO view
Year: 1867

How TO GET RID OF THE NATIONAL DEBT


There are twenty millions of people in the
North. If each one of these would DESTROY a
five cent currency note daily it would amount
to millten Of dollars in q day towards the re-
movai of the national debt. If this were done
every day for year II would diminish the
debt by three hundred and sixty five millions
of dollars yearly, which is more than the
whole Internal revenue produces. We know
a man who thinks II his duty to burn five.
cent bill every day On this account 1t is less
than the tax on q glass of whisky.-N L. Po,f
Year: 1867

~A young lady from North Carolina was
left temporarily in charge OF the house OF q
friend In Norfolk or Saturday evening. Soon
after the family left she discovered man luyh-.
ing in the yard. and not liking his looks she
took mp gun and shot him, but whether dan =
gerously or nst, she wae not able 70 cav as he
gave one tremendous yell and ieft
Year: 1867

FORTRESS MONROE July 31.-Agricultural ad-
vices from the country bordering the Roanoke River
North Carolina state that crop west OF Raleigh
is in very poor condition, The wet weather and
hopper seriously injured It, and In many large
part OF crop has had TO be repaled several times
Ehe wheat and oat crops have yielded largely. The
former was considerably Injured by the rains, but the
crop considered good one Inc sweet potato crop
h said, will he exceedingly productive.


CIyCTSNAr August lFne showers have fallen In this
vicinity which is exceedingly fayorabe To crops
Year: 1867

Chief Justice Chase paid visit to Frederick,
Nd few days SINCE and while there expressed "the
belief that Congress will be prompt in aording ree to
the loyal OF Maryland by passing the Universal
Suffrage bill whom It cOnYenes In November"
Year: 1867

The question then coming upon the majority report OF
the Committee refusing grant any stationery allowance
reporters and Nays called and the report
was sustained by a vote OF 62 TO 63 as follows:
Year: 1867

MANY curious cases of attempts to de-
fraud persons by letter come to the notice
of postoffice detectives, and, strange. to
say, large part of these dishonest efforts
are made by women. This no doubt be-
cause women do not know how difficult it
is to swindle in this way, and also because
they do not think there is any danger of
detection.


A sculptor called upon postoffice de-
tective one day and showed him letter
which had evidently been opened at the
end and fastened again with mucilage, as
small corner of bill still adhered to the
paper. The letter asserted that the writer
had forwarded ten dollars in it to her friend.
The detective doubted the assertion, and
said he thought she pasted the piece of bill
on the paper herself. The sculptor would
not believe this at first, and said there
could be no reason for her resorting to de-
ception.


it appeared that he had chiseled h and
from piece of marble, and presented it to
the woman. He did not intend to charge
for it, but as she pressed him to name a
price, he said it was worth ten dollars
After returning to this city he received
letter, and of course thought 1t had been
opened and the money stolen. Not so
with the detective. He told the sculptor to
write to the woman that the letter contain
ed no money; to say nothing about the
piece of bill adhering to the paper, but to
say that the flap had not been broken
open.
| The woman wrote back to say that she
had fastened the bill to the paper with mu-
eifage, and asked him too look at the end
of the envelope and see if it had been. cut
open. This reply confirmed the suspicious
| of the detective, and a microscopic exam
nation of the fragment of the bill showed
that it had been torn from one dollar
note. In this case the woman's dishonesty
proved most unfortunate for her.-N. Y.
/ EreDin0 Post.
Year: 1867

CFrom the Piqua Telegraph (German)J


We already stated in our first number
what course we intended to pursue in the
coming and all elections hereafter, that we
would only support such men as show
themselves worthy of the support of the
great and powerful German nation. no
matter whether Democrat or Republican; !;
and that we would make such men public
who throw their SANDER against the Ger
mans whenever they find opportunity. and
such a man is General Lee, the Republican
candidate for Lieutenant Governor for this
State. He is full-blooded othing
and a crazy temperance fanatic, and de-
serves good kick sfrom every German in
the State.


Our motto is: "Who is not for US, is
against u.s." and this is the case with Gen.
Lee.5 We are no partisan; do not favor one
party more than another, but it is our duty
| to preserve the rights of the Germans, and
make known the cowardly and crazy men
to the public.


We are not graduate of great Univer-
sity-only working man-and we do not
want more than what is right between good
and bad men. We talk to the Germans
/ through the '.Telegraph," and make known
to them the dangers which are surround
ing us. Let the wolves howl, but don't be
afraid. Stick together at the coming cleo


tion and victory VIII crown us. Remem-


Der the words of the heroic William Tell
You tyrants and fanatics who even dornoi
care for the innocent child, get ready, then
/ your time has run out"
Year: 1867

A Cape May correspondent thus de-
scribe the girl-bldse woman: "The girl
of sixteen or seventeen, very sentimental
and romantic, and very sweet withal, who
fancies herself very blase woman of the
world, is now walking in the corridor with
her feminine cousin of twenty-five, and ex-.
planning to her the true relation of the
sexes She says: Some women never
love; they have no capacity for passion
merely tender, and if they had,
they meet no man who could inspire
them with lasting attachment. Though
you would not Suspect it, Mary, L have had
what Cleopatra calls her salad days.
When 1 was mere girl, before mad come
to understand myself, thought L should
have difficulty in suppressing the emotions
of my heart. But it's oil over now, Mary.
1 know better. L shall die an old maid-I
have great deal of respect for old maids
for men don't appeal to me any longer"
Year: 1867

The Ne,o Bedford Mercury tells of hus-
band in New York whose wife died before
her dentist had sent home an expensive set
of false teeth which he was manufacturing
for her. The afflicted husband hastened to
say that they would not be needed. but as
the job was completed he had to agree up
on compromise for ten dollars. By way
otmaking the matter satisfactory all round
the widower begged the use of the teeth
for the funeral, promising to return them
the next day. ,,,aa
Year: 1867

We print this morning the opinions OF the
Supreme Court of the United States in the
Milligan case. An abstract heretofore published
informed us that the Court had decided that
in this case writ of habeas corpus was right
fully issued, that Milligan ought to have been
discharged from custody,' and that the Military
Commission assembled for the purpose had no
legal jurisdiction to try and sentence the ac-
cused. This, however is merely technical
statement of the points decided. In the deter
mination of them all the Court concur, but
they differ in some important particulars re-
specting the validity of Military Commissions
in general These differences and the scope oil
the decision we shall consider hereafter.
Year: 1867

The Court Of Appeals has decided the ques-
ton at issue between the Market Fund Com
missioneTs, whereof Police Commissioner Man
iere is the most prominent and the City Coun-
ell of New York, on a motion for mandamus
to compel the latter to enact an ordinance Great
ing market fund or stock, pursuant to a
Legislative act passed in March, 1865, under
which Commissioners were appointed. The
Board of Aldermen refused to enact such an
ordinance. A mandamus to compel them was
granted by the Supreme Court, affirmed at
General Term, and is now finally reaffirmed
by the Court of appeals.
Year: 1867

be left legal device which can postpone It's
defeat.


But it is too late to deceive public opinion
The decision Of the Court of Appeals must be
respected, both by the lower courts and by the
clients of Mr.. Justice Cardozo. There may have
been danger that the bench would be brought
into contempt by its disregard of law and ITS
patronage Of law breakers; the danger is passed.
we hone, when the two higher courts unite III
yindicating the statute, and in rebuklng Doth
the Judge and the liquor-sellers who would
violate it. We look for a reign Of order ID
this city henceforth. We look to see
the Legislature fortified by this judi
cial determination, resist strenuously all
efforts TO tamper with the statute, or to inn
pair its efficiency We warn them that they
cannot touch the Excise law (mless to make
if more effcient) without bringing down upon
themselves the Just indignation of their consult
uents. Long despsed and trodden under foot
the law-abiding and anti-rumsclling sentiment
Of Nsw-Yorl find itself at last triumphant
in the Court of last resort, and it will expect
benceforth from the Legislature the ampest
means of securing and perpetuatinS Its nara
,ror ,,ictorv
Year: 1867

Much is said in praise Of the yacht race, but
public opinion has not yet shaped itself iRo
giving full credit to whom it is due. We be-
heve that the honor of the recent victory be-
longs, so far as seamanship is concerned, to
Capt. Samuels the sailing master Of the Hen
rietta-the same officer who commanded the
clipper ship DreadnOught when she made,
some years ago. tho fastest of sailing passages
across the Atlantic.
Year: 1867

tones, the throwing ont of employment In mid.
winter of thousands Of OUT laborers, male and
female, the stagnatiOn of business caused by
the glut of our markets with foreign goods,
soemnly admOnsh us of great error, and
point straight to the reparation. That is the
immediate passage of the Ways and Means
bill, or of better bill framed on the principle
of that bill
Year: 1867

REJOICING OVER THE RESULT OF THE RECENT
OCEAN RAcE.-A number of leading citizens, residing
in the vicinity of Washington Hights, last evening
result of the yacht race in recognition CT the
success of their neighbor Mr. James Gordon Bennett
IT. The burning of tarbarTels and loud cheering for
the owner of the Henrietta marked the occasion as
one long to be remembered by his many friends in
that vicinity.
Year: 1867

Is a sure remedy for the cure of bad breath, no matter from what source the disease may arise. What young lady or gent will not make an effort to remove this disagreeable evil when it can be done for ONE DOLLAR, sent to your address postpaid, by mail, and a speedy cure guaranteed, or money refunded. All orders must be addressed to H. DORR, AL bany, N. Y., sole Agent for the United States. Sly
Year: 1867

DEATH FROM PoIsoN.-Edward Saw
yer, son of Franklin Sawyer, of West
field, about five years old died June 81,
from eating piece Of rhubarb stalk the
evening previous. On his way home
from school he with other children stop
ped at neighbor's, where the woman
was preparing some of the plant for
use. She gave the boy very small
piece, which be ate. After reaching
home he drank some milk, soon was
seized with very severe sickness and
great pain, and died the next day. An.
other impressive warning to children,
but especially to parents, and all others,
In the care and watchfulness that should
be exercised over young children.
Year: 1867

gained access to the main room OF the
depot by forcing window, and then
entered the door Of the ticket office by
a key of his own. The valuables were
In locked box, and the box was in =
locked desk, but very conveniently for
the burglar, both keys were in their
proper locks. He helped himself to an
express package containing one hundred
dollars, and to about forty dollars be-
longing to the railroad, leaving thirteen
dollars in bills and quantity of scrip.
He also carried off the keys Of the box
and desk and the mail keys.
Year: 1867

The friend who sends the above card
writes "The young man is getting
along finely. One curious circumstance
in the case is that while he was entirely
deaf in one OF his ears for four years,
the electric fluid restored it to perfect
hearing, and to-day he hears as well as
he ever did"
Year: 1867

The New York Times says: Nothing is
nov heard about impeachment The news
papers are silent on the subject, and even
the Washington correspondents, hard
pressed though they be for items, rarely
venture TO mention it. The failure of the
committee to produce a single fact in sup
port Of their vague allegations, proved on
what a slender basis Butler and company
built their calculations. The more recent
action of the President in regard to the
attempts to delay the operation of the re-
construction law, seems to have given the
advocates of impeachment their quietus.
Their plea was that the President could
not be intrusied with the administration
Of the law; whereas, the declaration Of
the Attorney General in the Supreme Court
and the steps he has already taken, prove
clearly that the President is intent upon
the enforcement Of the law. That fact dis
poses Of the impeachment business
Year: 1867

We shall constantly aimonish the Southern
people to be self-reliant. and shall do what we
may be able to induce the establishment Of
manufactures in our midst for our home pro
duets. To this end we will pay special attention
to the COST and STATISTICS Of manufacturing.
aud exert ourselves TO encourage the divsrsih-
cation Of Southern industries and the develop
uent Of sosthsrn resources.
Year: 1867

And kindred topics. we shall also give an eK-
tensiye variety Of valuable and interesting mat
ter-the best adapted TO the farming classes o,
our State, which will. in a great measure. sup
ply the place Of a family agricultural paper.
Year: 1867

But little Interest was taken in the late
election in New York for delegates to the
convention to revise the constitution of the
State. Not half vote was polled The
New York World thus alludes to it:


The result does not vary materially
from that calculated upon by the origin
ators of the plan to elect the delegates by
the Senatorial districts, and insures large
Republican majority in the convention.
According to the returns received last
night, the political complexion of that body
will be as follows


Dem. Rep.
Delegates at large...............-.. lG
District Delegates--... ............,a......44 "a
While the Republicans have elected a
majority Of the candidates, it is verv no.
ticeable that they have not shown the
strength at the polls which they. did last
November. After making all due allow
ance for the lack Of interest taken in the
election by both parties, and consequently
the light vote cast, the fact remains that
the Democrats have gained materially mp
on the Republican majority of 1866. This
is the more marked because the Democrats
took very little part in the recent canvass,
in some districts running no candidates at
all, while in several their strongest men
declined the nominations that were rendered
them. The truth is, the election was a
fdsco, and, as such, a fitting prelude to the
convention which is to meet at Albany on
the 4th of June
Year: 1867

GoISo TO raE CoAsr.-Rey. Father Cos>
grove, of Ste. Marguerites Church, leaves
on the evening train for the Coast. BY
CLOSE application to duty he has 20 impaired
his health that BY advice Of his physician
and permissio Of the Bishop hs will spend
FIVE OF six weeks on the sea coast. lie will
go either 10 Long Branch or Cape May.-
During his absence his pulpit will be filled
by special appointment
Year: 1867

everybody connected with it, to such an extent
that nobody could be got to patronize any but
Peter Cooper cables. Let him try the expert
meDt and see if we are not true prophets. But
at present prices or half of present prices, the
temptation is to have more cables. We wonder
that the significant fact stated by Mr.. Cooper
that the cables are now working only per
cent of their capacty-has not before admon-
ished their proprietOrs of their great mistake IN
fixing exorbitant rates, and induced them to
decide upon such substantial reduction OF
price as to make the lines of real service to the
business and social intercourse Of the whole
world.


But in offering these views we still hold to
the doctrine that, in the event Of war between
~the United States and England, the latter
Power would instantly whistle down the wind
all ideas of neutrality in respect to cables landing
on British territory, and would seize them for her
exclusive use and benefit. We regard this as
a most important consideration, and one which
ought not TO be overlooked whenever the ques-
ton Of more Atlantic telegraphs is raised
Year: 1867

The Slate Senate yesterday made the Con-
stitutiopal Convention bill special order 1or
today, and this is the third or thirteth time i
II has been special order without anything
especial happening. This suggests that IL
making important business the special order
results in nothing but continual postponement'
we might be spared legislative promises which which
arc 30 badly kept. The Convention bill, "hke
a wounded snake, drags its slow length along"
and scarcely one of the matters in dispute has
vet been settled either by Senate or Assembly.
The people are weary of tomorrow and
"to-morrow, and tomorrow" and believe that
the Legislature had better do little work
to-day than promise a great deal next week
Let Senate and Assembly pass their respective
bills at once. A conference committee seems
unavoidable, and that will long enough delay
the passage Of the BILL
Year: 1867

The disgraceful accident ct the Staten Island
Ferry yesterday -prOyidentially without loss Of
life-is an instance of the caree5sneSs with
which all our ferries are managed, and the in
difference of the Companies to the safety Of
their patrons. A fcrry-bOat, under full head
of steam, ran into her slip, crushed the bridge,
and knocked down the building above it, and
the sole excuse is that the engineer went to
sleep, or that the pilot neglected his duty 1t
is not strange that this accident occurred; the
surprise is that accidents equally dangerous do
not occur more frequently. The affair will
recall tO-tAe public the fact that Legislative
Committee lately investigated our Ferry sys-
tem, and will increase the desire that it should
make q thorough and prompt report