Year: 1879

| A BUSINESS BOY.


One of the orange, sellers on the campus
Martius yesterday found bad specimen among
his fruit and carelessly tossed it away 1t struck
an old woman in the eye, and she made such
fuss over the accident that the man gave her a
dozen good oranges to go her way in peace She
| had scarcely left, when sharp-looking boy
about twelve years of age slid up to the fruit
! seller and Said


Say, are you going to hit any more old wo-
| men today"


why, no-not if can help it, was the
reply.


'If You are, give me a chance" continued
the lad. "Ill bring my mother down here
and you may hit her in both eyes for half the
| oranges you gave that other woman and If that
isn't fair you can have shot at dad and me-"
| Detroit Free Press.


WORD TO THE INQUIsITIvE.
| There were some mad men in a certain Ken
tucky Post Office a few days ago. A postal
card was dropped into the letter-box, addressed
| to 'Rev. John Penobscot, IT., -" 1t was
an ordinary postal card, and the postmaster an
ordinary postmaster. He took it up, glanced
at the address, turned it leisurely over and
read: -, May 2, 1879. You, to whom
this card is not addressed, and who, neverthe-
less have the cheek to read it, are contempt
ibe, unprincipled sneak and prying, pusil-
animous coward. George f. Dugan." The
postmaster laid the card gently down and
lounged to the other end of the house, softly
whisting ''Nancy Lee" In due time the
clerk came upon the card, perused it, threw his
hat ON the floor, stamped itmade the neighbor-
| hood hideous with the howls Of his pet dog,
which he kicked in the ribs. How the card
Jared with the. various route agents through
whose hands it passed it is impossible to say;
nor do we know whether it was read by the
woman who is postmistress at the office where
the Rev. John Penobscot is supposed to get his
mail; but the report is that ON the day it
reached there she smashed bottle of ink on
her husbands head, spanked the children all
round, and chewed up ninety-five cents worth
of wax. We cannot be too careful never to
write on postal cards anything in the least cal
culated to wound the sensitive delicacy of the
Post once peoples feelings.-Louisville Cour-
ier Journal.


MARCOS MISTAKE.


Nay, do not kiss me, Marco! Go and seek


Some newer love. Pm so tired of thee


Tired OF thy caress on lip and cheek


OF all thy rhapsodies and praise of me.


Ella Wheeler.


There, Marco, didn't we tell you SOL Didn't
we warn you of the danger of being too fresh?
After all the fatherly advice we have given
you on this very point, we have no sympathy
for you whatever. Not single. solitary symp.
81 am so tired of thee" Tolerably plain talk,
Marco, but it serves you exactly right What
business had you to call around every night?
Seems to us some people haven't sense enough
TO make decent member of the Legislature.
Tired OF thy caress on lip and cheek" Great
goodness! Why didn't you do as we told you,
and bite her nose once in while and give her
lip and cheek rest? ''Tired of thy rhapsodies
and praise of me-" Oh, Marco, Marco. Why
did you not follow our advice and divide your
rhapsodies and praise about equally between
her and your Cousin Sue? This is necessary,
Marco, just as necessary as the air you breath
You have put your foot into it, indeed. Yes,
Marco go and seek some newer love-" We
think red-headed cook ON a canal boat would
about suit you.-Cineinnati Enquirer.