Year: 1878

and third.


A Texas man shot his opponent
in duel and is now writing a
poem about it. 1t looks as if the
wrong man was shot.


No matter what the courts de
> eide, the driven well was invented
by our affectionate old friend, the
mosquito.


What blow to a boys ariih.
/. metic when he first discovers that
it takes the contents of FIVE quart
bottles to make gallon.


The Picayune believes that
doctors may differ as to the ma
ture of a disease, and yet agree
! as to the price of visit.


A western lawyer included in
; his bill against his client: 'sTo
waking up i'll the night and
thinking about your case, So"


In the fall the robins pipings


O'er the meadows cease TO float,


In the tall each average young man


Gets new light over coat


If he can.


| The man who is not afraid of
war or yellow fever, is generally
afraid to take out a paper of
tobacco in the presence Of a
crowd.


Thirty days hath September,
Iif we the almanac remember.
Then comes October, brown and
sere, the month We cbilIs and fe
yer fear.


A man who can bend his
shins against rocking-chair
and smile at the darkness which
made it possible, is on the high
way to glory.
A historian says butter has
been handed down from the days
of Hippocrates. This probably I
accounts for the smell of some
Eof it nowadays.
A country exchange in blowing
its ownexcellencies says the ',kitch-
en and household are not forgot"
Oh no, of course not; you recol-
lect them three times day.


They are talking OF abOIishing
funerals in Ohio. Not that people
will cease to die; but the funeral
is expensive and the medical col
leges get the corpses anyhow.


Uncertainty is worse than as
sure,l calamity. Hence we al
ways feel bad when we see a
boy whirling a sling with a
three-cornered stone in it.


A Georgia railroad is to be
sold in a few days, for cash.
How lucky! We were just
casting about for a wedding
present for a friend of ours.


"What straights are the most
perilous?' asked the Sunday
school Superintendent, and a little
boy spoke up promptly, "Whiskey
straights!' And ths boy was
right.
A Michigan farmer writes to the
faculty of Yale: "What are your
terms this year? And does it
cost anything extra if my son
wants TO learn to read and write as
we'll as row a boat2'
A Boston young man married a
gainst the wishes of bis parents,
aud in telling his friend how to
break the news to them, said
"fell them first that I'm dead
end gently work up to the climax.


In Northampton they are
laughing at well known young
man because he recently said
when bantered about bis affection
for a lady whose heart is anoth-
er's, "Can't admire her as work
of art?"


They were expressing surprise
at the success of politician who
had been everything. "Oh, no
wonder he gets rich" said wise
observer "he has sold every one
that bought him and saved the
money"


Woman consumes thirty-six
buttons on her single pair Of
kid gloves, whereas man but
tons his suspendcrs with a shin
glc-naiI. And yet folks will
ask: Buttons, buttons, who's
got the button?"


Don't you love her still 7" the
Judge asked of a man who want.
ed a divorce. "Certainly | do"
said he; Il love ber better still
than any other way, but the
trouble is she will never be sIill.SS
The judge who is a married man
himself, takes the case under ad-
visement.


Edison is experimenting on
the waves of light, and hopes
very soon to perfect machine
that. will enable you to see a
man hundred miles away. In
case the man in question has an
account against you this will
give you plenty of time TO get