Year: 1867

Get the Best" In these latter days the lcXl-
Geographical duel having little abated, we have
the War of the Sewing Machines, and the
War of the Piano Fortes. The contests OF trade
have assumed almost the bitterness OF religious
controversy "We keeps poet" sad the
wife of the proprietor OF an Incompetence
Backing, q remark which tickled Lord Byron
SO much that for some time he was continually
abiding to it in his letters. 1t is notorious
that the age has produced no great cplcal pro-
duction: and after ruminating for many hours,
vc have determined that no poet OF the day
could desire better subject for twelve books
of heroic verse than the War of the Piano
Fortes We could easily frame an argument.
The poem would begin with the customary call
upon nine well known ancient ladies, and one
frsky old gentleman by the name of PhGbus
Apollo. Twenty lines would follow upon the
time when Music, heavenly maid, was young.
Invention of the ancient Tyre, contests of the
Grccian poets, with faint illusions to the con-
tests of Stcinwayand Chickerng Six lines about
st. Cecilia, for which the writer might read up
in Drydcn's ode. Mention of the fact that
Orpheus had no Piano-Fortc Description OF
the Playing of Marsyas, i'll which the author
might exhibit great anatomical knowledge, for
which he would read up in Sir Charles Bell.
General view of the History of Music, for
which see DR.. Burney, Sir John Hawkins, and
the Advertisements of Max Maretzek. This
would finish the First Book. Hints for the
remaining Eleven may be had cheap by apply
ing in the proper quarter.


We don't know why we thus indulge in
banter. The competitions OF trade have already
assumed serious aspect, and resulted in an
ink shed which we may fairly characterize as
proflIse. The time has gone by when chapmen
stood in their doorways crying out all day,
"What dye lacki what dye lackW The
modern advertisement has taken the place of
this shop rhctoric and for aught we know,
the iish-wives Of Blingsgate now advertise
their hcrlings and haddocks in The Lon
don Times. Formerly, it was quite enough
for u man to keep his shop, and his
shop would keep him; but, nowadays,
whoever would sell anything must make
known his wishes by proclamation. 1t would
be ungrateful in us if we were to find fault
with this state of things, by which we live and
thrive; and so long as tradesn n keep good
naturcd, their ardors and activities are not
merely pardonable, but hoLorable. The old
adage has found n new signif ancc. The devil
will most certainly take the hindmost.


it would be quite frightful, if the explorer
were of a ugubrious tmn of mind, to think OF
all the Wants which the pages of daily
journal present. SO many people out of place
and anxious foI work-so many emitting a little
four-line appeal for employmeht-so many with
something 10 sell which they must sell OF fnan-
cially pcrsh-so many defending for dear life
the excellence and the chcapness of their wares
SO many conflicting interests and rivalries ap-
parenty dcspcrate-so many deadly antagonists
making their worst commercial faces at each
othcr--so many wishing the very things which
so many other people are burning to furnish
in short, sHch Il general medley and mixture,
and crowd of cross purposes, Nothing under
the sun that may not be had for little money
except peace, contcntmcnt. and happiness The
world a great market place in which we may
buy evcrythng-cxcept truth, and honor, and
success, Swams of men mutually dependent
upon each other and all living in state of
chronic antagonism


Bat this view, however natural to the man
of dyspepsia, or 10 the man of bilious leisure,
would as il usual with all low and dcs-
pairing views of human life, be IN unjust
one The philosophical truth, we take it, is
that if the average of men did not crafty
their wishes and find fulGllmcnt of their
purposes in advertising, instead OF Increasing
and rising almost to the dignity of fine art,
advertising would long ago have gone al
together ont of use. As prncticod at the pres
cnt day, it has a claim To be considered as an
invention or discovery. IL Is almost certain
that those who Use il rs Il means fail
only in small minority OF cases to attain their
ends. There is only one class of advertise
mcnts arranged rs Wants. but really all
advertisements Indicate a want OF something,
which it is for the interest of somebody to
supply. But after all, notwithstanding the
great success os the system We hardly think
that its prodigious economy of time and money
is sufficiently appreciated. \ Wall-st. broker
NAV run up and down that quiet and pastoral
thoroughfare, with his stock of goods in
his hand, and his very presence adyer-
tises his merchandise; but nobody can
meander from house to house with
large and valuable assortment of anything on
his back. When pcddling went ont, advertising
came in; three centuries ago the lnialllble Pllls
and Pain Extinguishcrs would have been sold
from stage in the middle of fair. No doubt
if the truth were known, Paracelsus himself
vcndcd his panaccas in that ign0blc way. We
have changed all that, and advertising having
made competition possible, we have 1t IN Its
sharpest, most eager and most advennr
form. The time has not come for refining ahd
making chivalrous such combats IN these
columns; and we do not therefore advise orr
warriors to keep their tempers. The field which
they purchase Of US is their own for all save
immoral purposes; but as we have several
swall lots in the ncghborhood, which we