Year: 1879

about like "Uncle SANS do in the picture


papers-a good and clever man withal-but


from the wise look his face wears the lofty
tread with which he walked, the angle at
, which he threw his head back, and his erect
, and proper carriage, on the whole, told
plainly that he fully realized the biguess of


the Office he was running for, and that he
himself, in his personal appearance, ought
to show up correspondingly large to the
eyes Of the intelligent rnstjcas who was
walking beside him, and to whom he was


talking He vainly imagined that that


gaunt, lean, meager, "before taking" con-


vexity Of his stuck out in front of him


''about feet" full, round plump, digni>


fed and important-so would Judge from


the hang of his coat tail, and that some-


times is tolerably fair index to a mans


inner feelings. felt good to know he felt


SO good, and soliloquized thus: ''How


good thing it is to be a candidate ~


A candidate is the happiest man on the


face of the earth because he is SO honest
] aAeA oO SapeiDLS anu ID 81 tdII ut 10 S'OluR


to be elected He doesn't live in any doubt


as to the future as other men do. 1t does


man good to lcok at him, He is bundle


of sunshine tied up with rose tinted smiles


"a package of humility and love legibly


marked, "the peoples Slave'-a sacrifcial


offering of self interest, ready and willing


to be laid on the altar devoted to the peo-
pies cause. In fact ''the people, are every


thing, and everything is from the people.


To their will in all things he meelly bows.


He will chew his beefsteak in accordance


with their expressed wishes; his wife shall
dress as becometh the wife of the peoples
servant-plainly and without extravagance


and lie is earnestly solicitous that the poo


pie instruct him as to their views on all
these and minor points in private CONVEX
sation with him, or if they SO desire by the
voice of the ballot at the primary election
for "the voice of the people is the voice of
Cod


The manner in which n candidate tries
to slip up on the green side of simple
minded countryman and capture his vote
is also one of his peculiar traits Of charac-
ter. Old man Zeke Dobbins, a near neigh
Dor of mine, lives about six miles from me.
l was at his house last Sunday and he told
me what town candidate for the legisla-
ture-lawyer Banks-hNd promised him in
case he should be elected, to,wit That all
the officers from Governor, down to Consta>
bic, are no better than anybody else, they
use up too much of the public funds and
must be reduced; the agricultural lien law
must be expunged and make it a peniten-
tiary offense hereafter for merchant to
should be released from all his existing OBJ
legations to his merchant who has been
running" him and that he should have a
'resh start that money is too scarce and he
would see to it that more of it is scattered
sround through Zeke's beat; whenever a
negro stole hog, the State shall first pay
he loser the full value Of the hog, then go
o work and try to catch the negro and con-
'ict him, and make him work it out on the
lew railroad the State is going to build;
hat he would have the railroad run right
etween Zeke's house and his horse lot so
e could put his cotton, turpentine, chicks
rs, eggs, water melons, or whatever he
g might have, on the train without any
rouble and ship them ''cheap as dirt" and
nat he himself would be entitled to free
des always because the railroad would run
} close to his house. Lawyer Banks also
I'D my friend that after he gets to the
gislature, the first railroad man who in
llts him by offering him free pass,
ill have to pick himself up off the ground
Id wipe bloody nose, sure. Zeke is
lrd looking old case, lives in the back
pods, goes in his shirt sleeves, wears a
aggy mass of sorrel hair and copperas
eeches; and may be lawyer Banks thought
5 talk was soaking in deep and making
N vote, but with all the prosiness of
nature, Zeke says that Banks is a darn
oolp candidate must talk solid sense
len he comes out into this neighborhoOd.
Every man has right to change him-
( into a candidate if he wants to get
nself thoroughly ventilated and learn
NE of the mean things he has done which


didn't know before develop tho ugly
lie of his opponents character; kiss all
, children in the country; fatter the
men, and enjoy otherwise the blissful
stence open alone to a candidate; and
.ein is to be found one of the chief
ries of our republic, one Of the bright
feathers in the plumage Of the American
gle, Yours truly, RUBEN