Year: 1866




Skating is not the slloothest thing to man
age, although it is one of the most slippery
of the exact sciences. 1t has its ''upsn and
"downs, with which he who would masteri it
must be willing to form an intimate acquaint-
ance. 1t is not the easiest thing in the world
to learn to propel in graceful and digniied
manner on steel shoes. Before man can
make rapid progress in the science he must
expect to be put through the regular course
of training, which consists in lofty tumblina,
spreading ON all fours, balancing on the tip
of the nose, attempting to discover which is
the hardest substance-one's forehead or the
ice against which 1t comes ''kerthump, run
ming into man who is cutting his name on
the icy plate, tripping up over piece Of birch
bark, breaking into the water, and running
the danger of never getting out again. All
these must be experienced by the individual
who desires to do ample justice 10 the sci.
ence of skating.


Many are the amusing articles that have
been written about the romance Of learning
to skate. Perhaps the most funny thing OF
the kind we have ever read, is the following,
written last winter by reporter of Mil
waukie newspaper, 1t is "true to nature.n


Last night about gaslight time, after read
ing glowing description OF lite on skates, we
sailed forth to join the merry crowd We
had on pair of stoga boots, trowsers legs
tucked inside, a Robert tailed coat, and white
hat We went down on the ice, and gave
boy two shillings in good coin of the realm
for the use of his implements We had con-
fidence-even as great as Peters faith We,
with the assistance of u friend fixed on the
skates, and stood erect like a barber's pole.
Encouraged at the sight of some ladies on the
bridge looking at the skaters, we struck out
A slant to the right with the right foot, a slant
tothe left with the left foot-and Just then we
saw something on the ice and stopped to pick
it up. On our feet agan-two slants to the
right and one TO the Left accompanied with
the loss of confidence Another slide with
the right foot and we sat down with fearful
rapidity, but with very little if any elegance
What a set down it was, for it made dent
in the ice not unlike an old fashioned Con-
necticut butter bowl Just then one of the
ladies remarked "oh look, Mary, that leller
with the white hat aint got his skeets on the
placel" Ditto thought We Just then a
ragged little devil sung out as he passed us,
Hello, old timber legsl'' and we rose sud
denly and put after him. Three slides to
the right, and two to the left, and away went
our legs, one to the east, another to the
west, causing an immense fissure in our
Il ntu ,,;a4 sc I.at, +t.
cold = oh how cold i ice. The lady-we
know she was one by the remark she made
again spoke and said-"Oh, look Mary, that
chap with the white hat on has sat down on
his Handkerchief to keep from taking cold'
We rose about as graceful as Il saw-horse,
when Mary said-"Guess 'taint a handker-
chief, Jane" and Mary was right We tried
it again. A glide one way--a glide and q
half the other, when whack came our bump
of philoprogenitiveness on the ice, and we
saw million of stars dancing around our
eyes, like ballet girls at the Bowery theatre.
How that shock went through our system,
up and down our spinal column. Lightning
couldn't have corkscrewed it down creased
sapling with greater speed and more exhila-
rating effect. Perhaps we had skated, in
our peculiar style, fifteen feet, when blum
dering chap came up behind, when we sat
down again, with our tired head pillowed in
his lap-and he swearing at lis, wien it was
all his own fault!


How cold the ice was there, tool Every
place where we made our debut on the ice
oh, how cold it was! Our barn-skln drawers
were no protection at ALL We tried again,
for the papers all say it's fun, and down
came our Roman Grecian nose on the cold
julep material, and the little drops OF Grim
son ran down our shirt bosom and on the
cold ice. Once more we tiied skating made
for the shore, sat down and counted dam
ages. Two shillings in cash thrown away.
Several lateral and ronteral bumps on the
ice. One immense fissure in as handsome a
pair of ten-dollar cassimeres as a man ey er
put his leg into. One rupture in the knee
extending to the bone. Four buttons from
our vest, tragmented watch-crystal, and a
backache, big enough to divide among Two
children of Israel. If you get US on the
smooth, CLASSY, chilly, slippery, freezing,
treacherous, and slip-uppery ice again, you'll
know it. If any one ever hears OF our skat