Year: 1878

when they are returned in a perfect


state of repair, he triumphantly asks


his younger acquaintance who under


go grinding torments in the dentists


chair, il they do not wish they too had


removable teeth. In the mosquito sea-


son, when his nelghbors have to con-


stantly wear heavy boots to protect


their ankles, Mr.. Babbitt will take off


his cork leg, and placing it on the table


will chuckle as he watches the deceived


mosquitoes swarming upon it, and ne


glecting all other legs to prey upon


that fair, false calf. Mr.. Babbitt even


pities other elderly men who wear their


own hair in gray or white condition,


and insists that his raven locks are far


more beautiful than any natural hair.


Altogether he is as frank and cheerful


as he is wise, and his only fault-if he


has one-is to forget his hair and to


leave it lying about in Inappropriate


places. 1t was through this inexcusable


fOrgetfulness that Mr.. Babbitt became


the cause of the tragedy in the Bangor
and Boston sleeping-car last April, the


mere recollection of which causes the
average Darlington citizen to turn pale
and shudder. The sleeping-car was
full, and the stove was, of course, eX-
tremely hot, although it was warm


night. Mr.. Babbitt had noticed among


his fellow passengers lady of indefinite
age, but Of much personal beauty, Her
hair was especially ravishing. 1t was
of golden yellow, banged in front,
scolloped on the edges, and heaped up
on the top Of her head in great fOur-ply
braids fastened together by gilt safety
pins with large black beads, and sprink-
led with flowers and ribbons. In fact
it was simply gorgeous, and for once
Mr.. Babbitt began to doubt whether
nature could not when she gave her
whole mind to it, manufacture hair SUI
perior to that of the best wig-maker.
The golden-haired lady occupied berth
No. %, and Mr.. Babbitt felt vague
and unreasonable pleasure when he re-
membered that his berth was No. %.
In course of time the beds were made
and the passengers withdrew to their
couches to sleep, perchance to snore.
Mr.. Babbltt as usual, took off his hair
and laid it by the side of his pillow, but
with a view to possible railway acci-
dents, thought it best to keep his teeth
and leg at their respective posts of duty.
The heat and the noise made it impos-
sible for him to sleep, so that, just be-
fore daylight arrived, he arose and
went to the rear platform in search of
air. When he had nearly reached the
door, he remembered that he had for
gotten his hair, so he went back to his
berth, and pntting his hand under the
curtain grasped his wig adjusted it care
lessly and went out of the door. One by
one the passengers woke up and climbed
out of their berths. The train was due
at Boston at A. NJ, and little tefore
that hour, Mr.. Babbitt re-entered the
car. He had scarcely closed the door
behind him when an infuriated lady in
a badly-fitting black, masculine wig
rushed at him and denounced him as Il
heartless villain and an atrocious thief
His astCnishment was naturally very
great, but with much dignity he pushed
on, intending to enter the next car and
so escape the supposed lunatic. The
enthusiasm of the other passengers,
which Immediately manifested itself
in cheers, yells and efforts to lie down
and die in strong laughter, convinced
him that something was the matter. A
casual glance in the mirror apprised
him that he was wearing the yellow
hair which he had so much admired the
previous evening. His apologies and
explanations were not accepted by the
angry lady, but committee of passen-
gers finally arranged compromise. in
with which Mr.. Babbitt and
the lady concealed themselves behind
the curtains of contiguous berths while
the committee effected an exchange of
hair. 1t was certainly very terrible
affair, but if it eff'ectually warns Mr..
Babhitt never to leave his hair ON his
pillow or anywhere else except on his
head, it will prove blessing in dis
Ouise,