smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1879

When met Simpson one day after
had been absent from the city several
months | noticed that he had depress-
ed look and that he wore a wig. !
asked him the reason for assuming a
wig, but he said, "Never you mind ~
and appeared to want to avoid the sub.
ject. When reached my Office asked
him in, and pressed him to tell me
what was the matter. Finally he con-
sented, and locking the door and pull
ing down the window blind, he said


"You know old Partridge, the Phre-
nologist?"


eyes"


"You know he has an awful pretty
daughter, Sally"


eyes"


"Well, sir, | was in love with that
girl, and thought she loved me. And
so, one day, l called at Partridge's s
place to kind of sound him to see If l
stood any chance. And the old man
you know, he was little reserved, but
he told me that any man who wanted to
get favor from him could do so by
permitting him to shave off his hair and
to map out his scalp. You know, he
wanted living subject to lecture from
instead of plaster bust"


"Well, you see ] was wild about his
daughter, so like an immortal idiot l
let him practice on me. He took off
every hair clean, and then got stick
of caustic and laid out nay scalpin town
lots, with picture in each reserva-
ton. just look at that! Isn't it infa-
nous ?"


Simpson removed his wig. His head
looked like gobular checker board with
frescos of the most amazing and hide
Gus character daubed into each square.
There was prize fight in progress
upon his bump of combativeness; two
black doves that looked like buzzards
were billing upon his bump ofamative-
ness; grimy angel, with parasolS
for wings, stood on his veneration
bump; and on his bump of philo-
progenitiveness there was what ap-
peared to be comic picture of "ten
little Indians standing in line" 1t
was the most startling spectacle ! ever
beheld, and said to Simpson


cold fellow, l pity you'll"


"Pity mel Humph! Why, blame
it, man, do you know that those fres-
Goes will never come Off Carry 'em
to my grave, just as they are. And
then, you know Partridge wasn't satis-
fled with that. He said that my bump
of acquisitiveness was great deal too
small. And when i asked him what
he was going to do about it, he said it
must be swelled up somehow. He said
If he ever had a son-in-law 1t must be a
man whose acquisitiveness was strong,
So that fetched me, and | told HIM to
go ahead. He first proposed saving
out square inch of my skull and set
ting in bump that would about meet
his views; but 1 was little shy, you
know, and so he said he could either
cnp me like the man in Marryatt's nov
ell, or else work me up some sort of a
bump by hydraulic pressure,:o :or suction'
or something"


Cd he do itP"


"Well, all know is that was kept
in that office for four nights and three
days with bucket on my head, put
there to hold the machinery down
and that was so delerlous most of the
time that he had TO strap me to book
case. When came to, found that
had bump over my ear as large as a
four cent loaf of bread, and old Part
ridge, you know, was standing there
exclaiming, 'Splendidl Splendid! ! and
decorating 1t with caricature In caus-
tic of miser grasplng bag of gold
Year: 1879

"To sum it up, six long years of bed
ridden sickness, costing 5000 per year,
total, 81 ,2OO-all OF this expense was
stopped by three bottles Of Hop Bitters
taken by my wife. She has done her
own housework for year since, with
out the loss of day, and 1 want every
body to know it, for their benefit"
Year: 1879

A cook in the service of well known money changer in Paris has just passed through bitter ordeal. She bought three shares in the Credit Foncier Loan, which, like the Oity of Paris loans, com- prise lottery of prizes ranging from one thousand to one hundred thousand francs, drawn at stated periods. One of these drawings took place the other day. The following morning she re- ceived word from her mother that 1t was one of the three shares she had sold her which had won the big prize. Elated with Joy she at once went to the offices of the Credit Foncier with her shares, but instead of three there were only two. Questioned as to the third share she said she had sold it to the valet. The clerk looked at the number and was sorry to inform her that it was the share she had sold which had won the hum dred thousand franc prize. The. poor cook tainted and the shook is likely to end fatally.
Year: 1879

The story of recent court-martial at Berlin has pungent moral in it to point the wrongs that spring from military aristocracy. An officer of dragons was stationed in Grunan, and found it convenient 10 take lodgings with respectable farmer at low rates, for sub- stantial but plain fare. The pay of Prussian officer is very small compared with that of the United States service, a colonel receiving little more than one of our second lieutenants but the privileges of aristocracy are readily accepted, to make up the deficiency of money; and even sergeant may roffie it among civilians, snub whom he pleases, and bully the civilian almost to his hearts content, if he be only servile to his superior officers.

 The farmer in question had vein of satire in his agricolous head, and saw the irony of lazy affectation and brass mounted aristocraoy. He failed ome- what in respect to his boarder, and dld not provide first class accommodations and fare for fifth-rate pay. The officer stood it as long as rank could be ex- pected to bear such insolence from an inferior, and when at last beefsteak did not suit him he drew his sword and laid it beside his plate. The farmers wife timidly asked the reason for this warlike demonstration, and the soldier replied:

 "My good woman, nothing but a saber can carve such meat as you give me, that is all"

 The farmer of satirical turn arose and went from the room, while the man-of- war affected to carry out the joke by cutting his meat with the saber. Presently the farmer returned with 8 manure fork from the stable, and laid it politely, and with all the respect due to superior being, on the other side oi the plate, saying:

 "Sir, if you need such knife for my poor fare, offer suitable fork fol yourself"

 This was repartee to a soldier. but i the brass mounted aristocrat lacked edge for his wit he certai nly had it il his sword. He carved that audacioul farmer then and there.

 At the court-martial he WAS requested to state why he had thus served tht poor farmer for m erely answering on' joke with another, and he answered.:

 "My excuse, MT. President, is honor.

 ..Honor2" exclaimed the court.

 "Yes, sir, honor. Shall grubbine civilian dare to joke with an officer Here am I, veteran of two wars, being made the butt for the wit of lov fellow whose occupation is to grub. Al the divine Schiller says"

 The court interrupted the quotation with the sentence-a most severe on for carving grubbing civilian-thre months arrest.
Year: 1879

A FEW DAYS AGO the Indians along Passamaquoddy Bay, Maine, chose their governor and subordinate off ,ers. The installation took place the evening of the election, the ceremonies beginning by each Indian placing a spot of red paint on his forehead. There were Q variety of dances in which no squaw was permitted to have male partner, plenty of singing, an address. and an immense feast.
Year: 1879

fore using, turn with fork and shovel, thoroughly breaking 1t up. In another month repeat the process. The best way to do this is to begin on the south side, taking strip two feet wide, cut it square down and remove to the left, cleaning the whole space with fork and shovel. Now take two more feet, and thus proceed till the work is done. If the work has been properly performed, you will have soapy, fragrant pile of manure, which will cause any plant to which it is applied to leap for ioy.--[J. T. Van Wyck, Duchess O., N. Y.
Year: 1879

uVefeQ.

 THE FARMERS GARDEN.

 The secret of success in garden is the proper kind and application of ma nure. It should be thoroughly decom- posed, so that all weed seeds may be de- stroyed, and that it may be properly mixed with the soil, and furnish imme- diate sustenance to the plant. Fresh manure is apt to cause dryness of soil, and to make the vegetables tough and stringy. Manure made from animals is the best. The animal from which it is made is of not 50 much importance as that it is made from rich food. There is little difference between well-rotted ma nure of any animals fed on the same kind of food. All farmers have more or less of this. If any cannot spare as much as have mentioned, they had better re- duce the size of the garden, rather than stunt it. But they should retain the length and reduce by making it mar rover.

 If there is on hand lot of manure that has lain in the yard till decomposed, before yarding your cattle for the winter draw it out and heap for the garden. But thrifty farmers will not have any there, nor will it be as good as that pre- pared in the following manner, since 1t will have lost much of it's fertility by exposure to sun, wind and rain. During the winter draw from the stables twenty loads of COW and horse manure alternat- ing, leaving out as much litter as possi- ble. All horse is apt to burn, and all COW has not heat enough to rot in cold weather. Place in square flat heap four feet high, About two months be-
Year: 1879

Among the various papers of this
State that have come nobly to the
front for Cape Foulwealher the Will
iamette Farmer stamls prominent, as
will be seen from the following extract
from that paper:


There are some good and substantial argu-
ments to be made in favor of Cape Foul
weather as the site for the Harbor of Ref
uge, if it shall prove that the location is
well adapted to the purpose. That is of
course the main object, but a point might
also be strained in it's favor upon the ground
that the construction OF g. safe harbor there
will give the Willamette valley the benefit
of another seaport. The construction of the
harbor will certainly result in the building
of the narrow gauge railroad from Corvallis
to the ocean-nOt to Yaguina Bay merely,
but TO the shores of the constructed harbor.
Such consummation would be of the great
est Importance, for while that point cannot
become the great commercial port of tie
Northwest, 1t can do lively trade, and will
result in bringing prosperity to the shores Of
Yaquina Bay, and give the upper counties
more direct communication and shorter dis
tance to reach San Francisco, or even to
load vessels for Europe, saving the great ex-
pense and detention that attends loading
vessels at Portland. This advantage ctn
only attend the construction of the harbor
where it can be reached 10y railroad commu-
nication with the interior. The pass from
Corvallis to Yaquina offers the most favor
able route for such road, and the enter
prise of Benton and Linn county farmers
has already secured a commencement of that
enterprise, and it has been very faithfully
worked up, SO that its practicability is thor
Foughly understood. Amy improvement i'll
commercial facilities rebounds to tie bene-
fit of the producer. The Harbor of Refuge
at or near Yaquina Bay, and the construc-
tion of the narrow gauge road to connect
the Willamette valley Herewith, vii. enable
producers of the upper and middle valley
counties to ship their products much cheap
er. and they will thrive better in proportion
The proposition grows in favor as we view it
carefully, and we sincerely hope that cir
cumstances may favor the loc stion at that
point, as matter of economy to the general
gov 9rnment,s and for the advantage to q
great producing region.
Year: 1879

The great egg bird of the North sea Is
the arrie, while its southern cousin sup.
plies the people of San Francisco with a
liberal quantity OF its gayly-colored eggs
taken from the Fsrailons indeed, the
arrie is the only sea.bird OF real sconomic
value to man throughout orr wbc,e
northwest and north. 1t is probably
safe to say that tie numbers OF these
birds which assemble at st. George are
vastly grea'er than elsewhere on the
globe. As a faint but truthful stste-
ment of the existing fact, the following
may be said !: When the females begin
to squat continuously over their eggs,
along by the end OF June and the first OF
July, the males regularly relieve them,


taking turns in keeping the eggs warm.


thus they feed alternately, going out 10
sea for that purpose. This constant going
out and coming in during the day gives
rise, at regular hours in the morning and
evening, 10 q dark gird!e Of these birds
'hying just above the water, around
and around the island, in an endless
chain OF more than q quarter of a mile
broad and thirty mills In length This
great belt of hyipg aries represents just
one-half of the number of these birds
breeding on the cliffs, for only those arries
are In the circling column that are of,
or relieved by their mates for the day
from the duty of incubation. .....
Year: 1879

A letter from st. Petersburg says OF
the plague in Russia: 1t has spread in
the southern provinces at a rapid rate,
and thousands upon thousands have died
with it in the last five days. The VIC
Tins when taken live only about two
hours and turn black all over as a negro.
All the physicians that were ordered to
take charge of the sick have died within
twenty.iour hours after their arrival.
The corpses are burned and SO are the
houses in which they die. Whole tewns
have been laid in waste in the past few
days, and the government has placed a
Gordon OF soldiers around the injected
provinces 80 that the people cannot get
out and spread the disease, and any who
attempt to break through the Gordon are
shot dead on the spot. The people are
beginning to feel uneasy all over the
empire, but the government, Of course,
does not allow the news 10 get out, and all
reports are suppressed but the worst of
all is nobody can get out of the empire.
The Austrian and German governments
have placed double Gordon of soldiers
along all the frontiers, preventing all
persons from entering their territory
from Russia. All persons from Russia
by railroad are stopped at the frontier
and detained twenty days in quarantine.
Their baggage sud clothing are disin-
ieeted, and if they prove ali right after
a lapse of twenty days, they are permit.
ted 10 cross the border. During the
twenty days quarantine the people are
housed in large sheds and barns, without
any accommodations or comforts OF
course a knowledge OF this fact keeps
people from travelling. There is no pos
sibility of slipping out anywhere. The
government is doing all in its power to
prevent the disease from spreading, but
il it is not stayed soon their victims may
tall by Thousands daily. 1t is much
worse than the yellow fever was in the
south last summer. 1t was brought here
by a Tsrtsn soldier a month ago, who,
OF leaving Turkish territory, pulled off
from the body of dead Turk on the
battle field handsome silk shawl, which
he tied around his body. On arriving
in his native town he presented the
shawl to his sweetfeart--a young lady
about nineteen years of age. She tied
it around her body and danced about for
Joy in a room in which were some
twenty-five people. In two hours she
died and in five hours after the intro
duction Of the shawl into the room the
whole party of twenty five had died--sll
turning black. In three days the whole
town, containing eleven hundred people,
had died, with the exception of forty
three persons who had fed in time. From
this town the pest commenced spreading
sill ovsr the country.
Year: 1879

first fire, and then empty seven other
chambers upon her PROSTATE fame as
he would crush a snakef Or did six
comrades finish the manly work. Or
did the whole seven overtske her as she
halted along or hid herself behind some
place of shelter, and jointly slay her in
cold blood ~
Year: 1879

The Black hills are not alone valuable
for the precious metals which they con-
tain, but for the granite. A large amount
OF the latter recently arrived in San
Francisco for the erection of monument
there, and IL is said to te of very fine
quality, fully equal in sppe arance and
durability to the celebrated Scotch
granite.
Year: 1879

Irappesrs to be confirmed by. the latest
investigation that the fly from which
the cotton worm comes is q native OF
the West Indies, and that it moves from
there annually with the south winds.
1t is also stated that the expense OF kill,
ing the fly is no. warranted unless it
appears on the young plant, as it can
not do great harm to the plant, in the
later stages of its growth.
Year: 1879

IT is not such very unpleasant thing
to be a prodigal son when the old man
has a comfortable mansion aud big pile
of bonds and securities. But the prod.
who has no wealthy dad to fall back up.
on must Just stick to his husks or bust.
Year: 1879

THE French armies no longer march
beneath the imperial eagle. That noble
bird has been deposed from his lofty
perch on the standards of Napoleon, and
the soldiers of the republic are 10 be led
to victory by laurel wreath encircling
q dart of gold.
Year: 1879

MIR. EDITOR-SOme time since there
appeared in your columns an article
relative to the necessity of again max
ing nominations, and presenting an
unbrol,cn front to the Republican party
in st. Landry, as was done in 1878. in
the main, l agree with you. We are
now united, and we must keep united ;
for, united we stand, divided we fall
Let the Democratic party in this cam
paign split into two factions, as it did
in 1876, and we may look forward to
seeing almost every office of Importance
in this parish filled by Republicans.
! Whilst the glorious result OF the cam
paign OF 1878 is still fresh in our
memories, yet it will not do to shut our
eyes to the fact that the convention


which met that year, as we'll as the one


which met in March, 1879, gave rise to
no little dissatisfaction in the ranks of
the party. Many contended that tie


towns in the parish eXcrtcd or attempted


to exert too great an influence on the
| action of the convention. In this way


feeling Of rivalry and distrust has been
engendered between town and country,
which may eventually grow until it
leads to a disruption Of the party. Now,
| it seems to the writer that our executive
committee can easily obviate all this by
ordering preliminary elections through
out the parish, directly for the canCli-
dates themselves, instead of for dele
gates. In this way all feeling of
opposition between town and country
could he obviated. The candidates
would he chosen directly by the people
themselves, and not 10y one hundred
and forty delegates who in many in
stances, after reaching the convention,
do not entirely represent the constituent
ces that elected them to the convention.
| The selection in this way would be
perfectly fair and free. There would
be no room left for "cliques, rings, or
combinations ~ and to me it seems the
best of ali means that can possibly he
devised for making the party a unit
and removing every source of dissatis-
faction amongst the people. Hence,
when the executive committee convenes,
let it determine, instead of calling an
election for delegates, to order vote
to bc taken in every ward of the parish,
on day fixed, for candidates for every
office to be filled at the December
election. Let all candidates file with
the committee their promise in writing
to abide the result, and then give the
people Il chance to be heard directly,
and let those receiving the largest vote
be considered the nominees of the party.
AS to the minor dctails-Who shall vote,
how returns are to be made, promulga-
ted, ETC., let these be left with the
executive committee. About the only
objection ! have heard urged to this
plan, is that relative to delegates to the
State convention. There need be no
trouble about that. Either let the
committee appoint them, or let them
he elected by the people at the same
time candidates are elected. These are
the opinions Of the writer, country
man, planter, and a lifelong Demo-
crat, who desires not only to see the
party kept together, but to see it so
soliditied that after this campaign the
Republican party shall be remembered
in st. Landry only as one Of the things
of the past. Rustic.
Year: 1879

PIrY HE DR1NKs.-It is a customary
thing among certain class Of noodles
whenever they see some worthless fellow
going to the dogs from drink, to say
What pity he drinks! II be would on
" leave whiskpy .lone be would be a
great man y


Now this is simply rubbish! Many a
fool has got a reputation for genius by
becoming drunkard, who, if he remained
sober would be recognized for what he is
"a man Of as little mental power as NOR
al restraint.


The safest and snrest measure Of intel.
lectuality is the power it gives to the man
Of brains to govern himself and control
bis passions. He that gives loose rein
to bis passions and follows his appet.es
to degradation, gives the best possible
evidence Of weak and feeble brain.
Year: 1879

The following is from the Calhoun Re-
porter, and impresses us with the idea that
the General, at the time of writing the let
ter, must have been indulging in his favor
ite decoction, "a little more beer and
sugar, Henry"


Gen J. r. Griffin, Senator from Chicka-
saw county. and who resides at or near
Houston, has been requested by one of the
Democratic clubs of his county to resign
his office inasmuch as he has deserted the
Democratic ranks and taken up with the
g. BIS. The Senator replies in lengthy
article and his closing sentence is: 81
think great deal of my friends at Sparta,
and would like very much to be able TO
comply with their request, and would GER
tainly do so if it were not for one thing
/ would SEQ them in He'll first. That is
pretty rough language for christian gen
tleman. We do not suppose he hardly
means it though; just thought he would
nip the blossom in the bud.
Year: 1879

Major j. b Robertson. our present
County Treasurer, was nominated recently
by the Greenbackers for the office of JUS
tice of the Peace, for the Brownsville beat,
without his knowledge or consent, and we
are authorized to say that he respectfully
declines the distinguished honor thus con-
ferred on him, or thrust upon him we
should say. Major Robertson will sup
port the regular Democratic ticket, and like
Mr.. Collins, whom the G.. BIS nominated
for Surveyor does not see the necessity for
an opposition ticket We would suggest to
tho G.. B. 3. that they adopt as a motto, ''Be
sure you are right then go ahead.'
Year: 1879

employed in them in private life, that ithas
become an object of passionate desire to en-
gage in the Federal service in even the
humblest employments. The result is that
we see the service of the States exchanged
whenever possible, for service under the
Federal Government; and whatever there
may be left OF State rights is in danger of
being lost through our alteration of the
dazzling magnificenoe of the Nation.


Let us save money and State rights by
reduction of national expenditures.
Year: 1879

REPRESENTATIVE Frank Hiscock, of New
York, In announcing himself as candidate
for Governor says: 81 shall not endeavor
to build myself up by tearing other candi-
dates down by defamation, or any other
tactics" All of which might be interesting
reading to some candidates that we know of,
who are not thousand miles away from
the State capital
Year: 1879

A very sad and distressing accident oc-
CURED near Glendale in the eastern portion
of this county on Friday of last week, re-
sulting in the death of an cstimablS young
lady, Miss Josephine Lowry. 1t is but a
repetition of the old, old story of kinding
fire with kerosene oil The young lady had
stopped on her return from school, as was
her custom, at the residence of an uncle,
who is widower with several small chill
dren, to prepare supper for them. She
found the wood all ready in the fireplace on
her arrival, and proceeded to apply match
to it, when an explosion occurred and she
was completely enveloped in flames. The
children, during the absence of their father
had saturated the wood with oil and left
the oil-can where the flames from the fire
place could reach it, which accounts for the
explosion. DR.. Sanford was sent for, but
he found the young lady beyond human and
and she died about eighteen hours after the
accident. The bereaved relatives have our
sincere sympathy Record.