Year: 1875

| Restraint OF Social Life.


1t is common supposition that wealth and
station bring with them a proportionate free
dom of action. The poor long for riches,
not merely for the sake of the increased
comforts and opportunities they offer, but al
so for the blessed privilege, which they think
they would then enjoy, of doing as they
please. Something of this is undoubtedly
true, Plentiful means take of the grinding
necessity of continuous labor in one drec-
ton, although often the care and anxiety
that are substituted prove az heavy a burden
to bear. But in many other points the drift
is in exactly the opposite direction. The
order, dignity, etiquette and ceremony of the
wealthy classes impose checks and restraints
which would be insupportablc to those un-
accustomed to them. Probably no family
| i'll all England do less "as they please" than
the royal family. They are bound by innu-
merable forms, checked by the most abso-
lutte laws, aud restrained within the narrow
limits of court etiquette as to their most tri-
vial actions. OF course, as monarchy de-
clines, these restraints become less severe
yet even in our own republican land they
are by no means, wanting. Perhaps it is not
possible, nor advisable, that they should
ever wholly cease. Wherever order reigns
these checks upon impulse must exist
Even the stated meals and the general de-
corum of decent household impose GER
tain restraint upon all its members, which
would not be felt if the loaf were always
handy, and nothing intervened between the
sense Of want and its immediate satisfaction
At the time when forks were first invented,
certain protests were made against them I'M
der the plea that Good gave men good meat
and they were become too proud to touch it
with their fingers" when, no doubt, the real
objection to them lay in the trial of patience
which the new method imposed and the de-
lay to the satisfaction of appetite which it
caused to the uninitiated Such simple re-
finements use has now changed from painful
restraints to necessary comforts but from
them, up to the complicated etiquette of a
Chinese Court, which is said to require years
to learn there is series of steps, each one
placing an additional check upon the i'm
pulses, and causing an increased delay in
the satisfaction of the desires. Every
| thoughtful person, in whatever rank of life
he moves, is conscious of these social re-
straints in some degree, and those who live
in the humblest and simplest manner may
| find material com ensation for their pri-
vations IN their freedom from the many re-
strictions which the style and form of a
high station imposes


1t becomes, however, serious quest Oh,
| which we should fairly settle for ourselves,
how far it is wise and right to submit to
| these social checks, and at what point we
should resist them. OF course no abstract
rules can guide us in this matter. What is
troublesome luxury, or needless form, in
one country or age, is a necessary comfort or
gentle courtesy in another; different cir
cles and different positions demand a certain
degree of conformity to prevalent custcm,
Yet, with every allowance for these differ
ences, there is still a wide margin for our
choice There is certain degree of CON
yentional regulations which is simply rude,
and subverts social order without any good
result. To appear in company with negli-
gent attire, to omit small tokens of respect,
to eat in hasty and uncouth manner, to in
dulge in any habits offensive to the feelings
of others, will simply render the offender an
intolerable nuisance, and shut him out from
the society which he thus insults.


There is, however, far more danger of the
other extreme. We are not so apt to be
dazzled by the glitter of style of living be
yond our own, that we are willing to sacri-
ficemuch real comfort, time, money, thought
and even principle, to initiate it. In the
one matter Of dress, for example, it is as
tonishing to see how gladly many persons
will lay down their individuality, their taste
their comfort, their health and their judg
ment at the shrine of fashion. Others, tC
satisfy the supposed claims of politeness
will forfeit sincerity and truth or, to copy
the style in which the wealthy live, they
will part with their domestic freedom ans
happy simplicity, and sometimes with even
integrity itself. To gain admission to some
coveted circle, or to retain their positions il
it, some will sacrifice trne friendship an(
good advice; or, to avoid the sneer of al
evil companion, they will relinquish theil
innocence and peace Of mind. All sucl
checks upon our self-respect and purity, up
on our good sense and comfort, and upor
our health and happiness, we should resis
will all the powers we possess. No socia
restraints should ever be permitted to binC
our sense of duty, to iettcr our generous inn
pulses, to curtail our domestic joys, or to in
terfere with physical health and mental pro
gress. Those on the other hand that arr
purifying and elevating in their influence
that check sefshness and curb evil passions
we should welcome as benctactors; Will


those which are simply innocent and harm


less regulations of social custom we ma,
willingly observe, because they oil the wheel
of social life and prevent unpleasant friction
1t will require all our judgment and discro


ton wisely to discriminate between thes


various kinds of social restraints, and to dc
eide the limit of their authority over us
but the very effort to do this is in itself a
important culture, and will yield good fruit
in strengthening moral principle and eleva
ting the character,


- -


There is good story of General Sherida
in this weeks independent, The Rev. Wn


NJ. Baker says: "The papers say that Gel