Year: 1867

! she gets wrecked financially speaking
/ whom has she to blame bot herseif1
And when you sally forth to purchase dry
goods for the work room, or er0ckery for
the kitchen, or toys for the nursery, don
dress as if y0u intended to call on the Em-
press of Russia or shine at a morning re-
ception in Fifth avenue Turn the key on
your best silk aud cashmere shawl. Lock
up your diamonds, il you happen to have
any. Dress like lady, but not like sand
wich Islander who iHagiues the more wam-
pun she can pile on. the more charming her
toilet becomes. A dark dress, an unObtru-
sive shawl, pair of nice kid gloves, and
feet, as the French say, bjeB ckGSsiee sig
nifty the lady, in these days, much more than
gaudy colors or expensive accessories


Don take man with youi If you have
husband, 1t were better that a millstene
should be tied around his neck than that he
should accompany you, swinging your bag,
and treading rutblessly on YOUR skirts, and
asking In loud whispers "if you aren't al
most ready to so, and "why the mischief
you don't buy that plaid stuff, and done with
it 2 and If this sort of thing isn't about
played outp' A man on a shopping excur-
sion always seems to have left eyes, ears,
and common sense at home. If one article
is ten cents a yard cheaper than another
article he loses sight of all inferiority of
QuallIy, tll IHdppIOA AtTidl6u6SS OF uldIeFluls
and urges you with irritating whispers and
maddening nudges to buy itI' If the clerk
tells you black is white, and grass green
scarlet, he blindly believes the clerk, and
thinks you must be mistaken, my dear, be-
cause isn't it the mans business TO know
about such tbings2


Moreover, while you are calculating the
number of yards and half yards required, IN
all the fervor of mathematical absorption
he Is certain to breathe in upon your revery
with, q" Just look at that girl by The door,
isn't she clipper p or, 81 should really
like to know, my dear child, how much
longer you intend to keep a man waiting in
this hot hole p Then he is sure to whistle
OminOusly when the sum total is reekoned
up and deny that he meant anything when
you-6urn upon him; Can't fellow whistle
without being called to account for it2 He
thought this was a free country, since the
Emancipation Proclamation p


Do not forget that the peOple-behind the
counter are human, not mere automatOns,
placed there for your convenience. Speak to
them with an intonation of courtesy In
your voice, avoid the imperative accent Of
command that is sometimes, almost uncon-
sciously, assumed. A little kindness or
consideration goes great way with these
overworked, worn out machines, and it costs
you nothing OF all this worlds rates of
exchange, nothing is cheaper than cour-
-te0us manner and pleasant world Pity
'tis, people do not deal in them more


If clerks are bold and obtrnsiVe, trying to
talk you into foolish purchases, and obvi-
ously speaking falsely for the benefit Of their
business, you are justified in a manner
which viii repeL But on the other hand,
quiet, respectful clerk who shows you all
that you desire to see, and then stands by
without a word while you make your own
selection, deserves some degree of credit


But we do not blame clerk, nor any one
else, for losing all respect for the female
she hardly deserves the name Of aoOm0H--
who comes into a store as the Alabama
cruised into Federal ports, and when she is
told such and such a ribbon is a dollar
yard eXclaims, promptly, "In give you
seventy-fve cents a yard for it q Cheapen-
ing is her greatest pleasure -hagglng her
forte. She wants the shopmaR to throw
in a paper of needles because she has
bought paper of pins she parleys an hour,
and then perhaps buys half a yard of linen
cambria, perhaps nothing at all, telling the
wearied- out clerks she viii call again -


Not much better than this feminine free
booter is the young lady who comes Ian
guidly in, tumbles silks. and bareges about,
looks at this, and inquiries for that, and has
no more idea of buying anything. than she
has of contracting for the Pacific Railway
She only wants to pass away her time and
get an idea of the new spring fashions


It is strange, however, how quickly clerk
can detect whether ladies are shopping in
all good faith, or only making believe q
never will go into --'s again, says the
rufled fair one, they are so impertinent"
But did 1t never occur to you, my friend,
that you were guilty of some little imperti-
nence toward them Is it nothing to i'm
pose new labor on their already over-tired
frames, to take up their time, and try their
patience when you do not intend to buy the
least thing


Therefore, having graVely and Thought
fully considered the important question of
shopping, we may reduce It's theory and
practice into sundry brief rules, as follows


Rule l. Go shopping only when you are
actually necessitated so to do


Rule ?. Dress appropriately for the occa-
sion.


Rule 3. Never take man shopping with
you.


Rule 4. Treat clerks like ladies and gen.
tlemen until they themselves give you sufi--
cient reason to consider them otherwise.


Rule 3. Buy only what you need for pres
ent use.


Rule 6. Avoid bargains and "cheap
stores " as you would avoid the plaguel


Bule Z. Never buy an article without
considering how it is going to correspond
with the rest Of your wardrobe.


Rule 8. Don't " cheapenl !"


With some people an innate talent for
shopping, like poetry, Is born For those
who are less favored, these rules may be
worth considering and acting upon Having
tried them ourself, we can warrant them


Wants that are never Realised


A pair of boots made on the last of the
Mohicans, with two Of the spurs Of the
Rocky Mountains on the heel.


Some butter made from the cream Of 6,
joke, and pound Of cheese from the milk
Of human kindness


The screw that was loose somewhere.


Some shingles from the roof Of the modth


Some feathers from a gin cocktail


A blast from Cape Horn


a huke from the anchor of hope