Year: 1874

Fanny Fern enumerated l lot Of things
| which shs ssid no woman could do, but
she forgot several items. and. among 9TH
er tbings. she forgot 70 mention that the
woman hss never been fouod yet who can
buy railroad ticket end get herself SAFE
y on board = train sl1Qhout rsising gen.
eral commo,iou and botheriug every body
else svound the place. asd then she a.
ways locks ss though she thought she
ought to have present Of . new silk
dress for getting on tho car At all.


There was one Of this kind of women
went over to Newark the other day She
got down to the ferry about Eve minutes
before the boat started. and Of course she
didn't have any ticket. 80 she stepped up
to the Office to buy one. First she asked
the slerk what time the next train left for
Newark.


"Six O'Clock, madam" a
"What time is it nov 7"


For reply the clerk pointed 10 the clock
which occupies conspicuous position.
"Oh, yes, 1 forgot And then she took
out her watch and found she was just a.
bout minute and three-quarters slow
OF course she didn't alter the watch. she
never intended to, but it was q satisfac-
tion to know just how it was. By this
time there we're two or three more women
and half dozen men waiting behind her
for chance to buy tickets, but bless you!
that woman paid no more attention to
them than she did to tue procession Of the
equinoxes. Finally, she remembered she
wanted ticket, so she felt for her pocket.
book and couldn't End it, until she hap
pened to think that it was in her reticule.
which was harnessed to her waist, so she
got hold Of that, and wrigglcd aud twist.
ed until she got it in front Of her aud
managed to find the pocket book. OF
course it had money in every compart-
ment, and the money was all wadded and
twisted up so the book was ready to burst
First she unrolled u lot Of large bills and
rolled them up better; then she looked at
some ones and two's. but concluded she
wouldn't have bill changed, 80 she rum
magsd around and found lot of postal
currency, but it wouldn't pay to have the
clerk make change for her, SO she hunted
until she found fifteen-cent stamp. then
she got out twe-cent piece and then
chased three-cent piece all around that
pocket book, and when she captured it
she laid down the twenty cents and look ed
at the ticket-man as though she expected
to hear him thask her for saving him all
the trouble Of making change. bs. he
didn't say anything Of the kind, and didn't
even look much as though he meant to.
Of course. anybody would think. when
she had bought her ticket, this female
might have got out Of the way, but she
wasn't quite ready yet, She had to look
at the ticket and put it back in the port.
monnsie, and put that in her haversack,
and wriggle that back where it belonged,
and then when she got in the narrow pas
sage-way leading to the boat she had to
stop and 20 through the whole perform
ance again before she could tear off the
coupon to give to tho taksr. just then
she saw a woman behind her whom she
knew, and she couldn't wait another min
ute to talk over that terrible affair about
poor old Mrs. Smith. Meantime the 6f-
teen or twenty men behind her we're talk
ing about her. Most of what they said is
in the Prayer Book, but not quite in the
same order. By.and-by, however, she
remembered she wanted to go to Newark,
and the boat was just starting, so she had
to run, and 80 did the men; and then
they all came near missing the boat, and
all because that woman couldn't attend to
business 10 business-like way.


There is a moral to this story which
all women who travel will do well to pom
der -New York Eapress.