smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1878

From the Falrheld (Me.) Chronicle.


He was the manager of church fair,
and one morning he walked into the
newspaper office aud said:


''Want an item this morning 2"


"Of course" replied the editor.
Whereupon the visitor laid the follow
ing note upon the table:


''The ladies of the-Street Church
will give a festival ut their vestry hall
next Friday evening. Literary and
musical entertainments will be provid-
ed and a supper will be served to all
who desire. The ladies in charge of
the affair have much experience in such
matters and are sure to provide good
time. The admission will be only fif-
teen cents, and it is certain that no one
can spend that amount to better ad-
vantage. Be sure to go and take your
friends"


When the editor had read it, he said


''Oh, | see, an advertisement


''No; not an advertisement. We
prefer to have it go in the local col
umn," replied the manager.


And seeing that the editor looked
sceptical, he continued


sit will interest great many of your
readers, and help good cause beside.;
we have spent so much money getting
up our entertainment that we cant af-
ford to advertise it without increasing
the price of our tickets. In such mat
ter as this we ought to be willing to
help each other"


''Well," said the editor, eff it goes
into the locals, suppose you would re-
ciprocate by reading a little notice il
your church next Sunday


The visiting brother asked what no
tice, and the editor wrote and handed
him the following:


''The Weekly Chronicle, for the com
ing year, will be the best and cheapest
family paper in Maine. Its proprietor
Year: 1878

The cold weather is supposed to be
largely due to a stream of Arctic water
that sweeps down the straits of Bellisle,
passage some twelve miles wide be-
tween Labrador and Newfoundland. 1t
is proposed to close this strait. 1t is a
gigantic and costly engineering project,
but supposed to be within human
means. We can suggest better plan
for getting rid of all that is disagreeable
in oul New England winters. Nearly
all that is unpleasant comes from the
snow. We have plenty of bright sunny
days II winter that would be delight
full, but for the snow, and the warmer
it is when snow covers the ground, the
more damp, chilly and raw it is, owing
to the evaporation. Snow is our only
trouble. The absence of it has given
us the most charming December on
record. We see, now, exactly what is
needed. To keep out the snow, we
have only to roof over New England
Hartford COurant.
Year: 1878

A Georgia farmer bought grand piano
for his daughter. His house is small, and
to economic room, the lower part Of the
partition between the parlor and kitchen
sas cut out, and lifelong end Of the piano
stuck through. Priscilla now sits at the
keyboard, singing, "Who will case for
mother now AMI the mother rolls Out
doughauts on the piaao in the kitchen.
Year: 1878

Just before the battle Of Sedan q
French and German officer were engaged
in conversation, when they drIited into q
discussion Of the impending fight. The
latter declared that his side would give
the French sound drabbing when they
set. "Ah, monsieur said the candid
Frenchman, sthen you're soldiers will
have to run faster than ours.
Year: 1878

THE wise-acres who predicted the
lack of gold at Bear Paw, were evil
IDENTIFY right, if information coming
from there can be relied upon. Very
suggestively, the dispatch says "The
placer diggings are PLAYED OUT
Year: 1878

TURKS, and Russians too, make love
Of country second to love of glittering
pelf. They can be bought like swine.
Now it is discovered that half of the
sum subscribed to Russian volunteer
fleet fund sank into the hungry wallets
of the commissioners.
Year: 1878

MORE than twenty years ago Judge
Almy sunk well at Bolinas. Happen
ing to have three or four large oak oil
casks at the time he knocked in the
heads, burned out the oil, and set them
in the we'll, one above another and,
strange to say, they are all turned to
solid stone, and are as perfect to-day as
when they were. put in the well. The
ton cask is about two feet below the
surface, and a curb of common boards
is set over the well, running down to
meet the casks Several of these curbs
have rotted away, and been replaced,
but the oak casks appear likely to stand
forever, Is there here ahint for well
builders, or are the causes Of petrifaction
localg -i'
Year: 1878

We used to know man who, without
tremor, would drink half-pint of
New England rum or face an infuriated
bull, and yet could not have been hired
to sleep in graveyard on the pleasant
est night of the year for fear of ghosts.
Another instance of this odd terror at
an imaginary or trifing danger on the
part of a person who will recklessly
seek out real perils to needlessly face
was brought to our notice by a friend,
on Monday evening. During the little
thunder-shower of Monday afternoon, a
lady of this city took refuge on feather
bed on the floor, and stuck there until
all danger of being struck with light
ming was over; then she arose, and,
finding that the fire had got very low,
proceeded to enliven it by pouring kerr
osene out of a gallon can into the Stove.
We are ready to insure that lady against
being killed by lightning. edf =
Year: 1878

A POPULARITY of the baobab-tree,
found in Africa, is that scarcely any in
jury will destroy it, though it finally
dies of some sort of disease after living
to a great age, upwards of one thousand
years, it is believed. Fire scorching
the exterior does not impair its vitality,
and even cutting down does not ex-
terminate it, for it continues to grow in
length while lying on the ground, and
its roots, which reach forty or fifty
yards from the trunk, retain their vital
itv
Year: 1878

CHURCH attendance was compulsory
during Virginia colonial days. Ii a
person was absent a single Sabbath
without good reason he was kept on
balf-ratious for week; if absent twice
he was whipped; if thrice he was sub
ject TO capital punishment.
Year: 1878

IN the German army alone the forma-
ton of men in line of three ranks is
still retained. After the disastrous cam
paign in 1906 a line of two ranks was
introduced for use in the field under
certain circumstances, but the three
rank formation was still to be employed
for parade, drill, and instructional pur-
poses. Of late, however, and especially
since the conclusion of the war of
1901, in which it became very ap-
parent that the only conditions under
which 1t might still be advantageous to
employ three-rank line are not at all
likely TO occur again in the field of bat
tie, the wisdom of still retaining the
formation in the drill book has been
much questioned, although there is also
strong party who are in favor of al
together discarding, not the three-deep,
but the two-deep line. A writer in the
last number of the Deutchhe Here,
Zeitung demonstrates very conclusively
that the three-deep line is a cumbersome
formation, by no means suited to modern
conditions Of warfare.
Year: 1878

THE Cinnamon in San Francisco, de-
spite their violation of some of the COM
monest sanitary rules, are a healthy
class. The vitiated air of their sleeping
kennels does not seem to affect them un-
favorabiy. The San Francisco News-
letter says that their good health is due
to temperance in eating and drinking.
Their strongest beverage is tea, and
they eat very little rich food. Their
simple fare makes them require less
oxygen. They are free and frequent,
too, in the use of soap and water.
Year: 1878

THE cost of woman's dress, as regu-
lated by tyraunous fashion, in truth, be-
come verv onerous. No lady who has
not good deal of money to expend ON
her clothes can now afford to 60 into
fashionable society with any frequency,
while man can put in an appearance
at balls, parties, dinners, and receptions
daily and nightly without heavily in
trenching on comparatively small in
come. Yet women are now and must
always remain the center and the mold
ers of the most elegant and refined
society, and wealth, as we well know,
can not always confer on its possessors
grace, wit, or cultivation. Therefore, il
is a great misfortune if fashion shuts
many women out of sphere in which
they couldexercise beautiful influence
and which by nature and acquirements
they are well fitted to adorn.
Year: 1878

they should not object to this, the world will probably see a road un- equaled anywhere.

 When we want road we will en- deavor to impress upon somebody somehow to go out and build road, put up gate, collect toll, keep the road in repair and the county out of the clutches of eminent and practical road builders.
Year: 1878

A little boy from New York went into
the county visiting. He had bowl of
bread and milk. He tasted it and then
hesitated moment, when his mother
asked him if he didn't like it,st which
he replied, smacking his lips: Yes, ma,
I was wishing our milkman would keep
COW.
Year: 1878

If any person would see the difference be;
tween real worth and real worthlessness let
him buy small pack OF Sheridan's horse and
cattle DoWders and feed it out to his hens
The increase of eggs will surprise you.
Year: 1878

Special TO the Register.


WASHINGTON, May l6.


The Republicans are weakening in the
electoral fight. That Is what Cen Banks
motion meant to-day, and that Is the
meaning OF their caucus resolutions. In
these they seek to justify themselves be-
fore the country. Having declared the
Democrats to be reVoutionists and dis
turbers of the peace they will not incur
the further dlsplessure OF the country by
perlonging fight which wastes day
after day. They found that their tllbus-
terlrg was not taking we'll and
now they will endesVor to retreat IN
good order, if possible. The Democratic
leaders will deserve the condemnation
of their party if they allow the opposi-
tion to withdraw without the csstigation
which it merits. Having obstruced the
first steps in an inquiry which looks to
the exposition Of fraud, the Republican
party ought to be mailed and pilloried
before it is allowed to surrender. BY
Saturday all pairs will be oil, and the
Democratic quorum, now in town, will
become effective. The quorum would
not insure victory if the Re
publcans were willing to accept
the responsibility for further obstructing
proceedings. They see, however, that
they can afford even an inquiry better
than that, and they Will let the inquiry
come. The present programme Is to
close all filibustering as soon as Demo.
cratic quorum shows itself, throwing on
the Democracy the responsibility Of re.
opening the Presidential question: re-
sponsiblity which will be very willingly
accepted. Hale is disposed to insist upon
his amendment, but the rank and file
have given him to understand that he
can not lead them up to that point any
longer. They represent to him that they
can see no good reason for forcing the
party into defeat, and, more than that,
into position which is not consistent
with the declaration OF their caucus resO-
Iutions, viz: That any attempt to inquire
into the Presidential fraud ls revolution
ary. If Mr.. Hale insists upon pushing
his amendment it is probable that he will
be beaten by his own side.


There has been some talk Of the
Republicans IN the Senate put
ting up resolution to cover
the points in Hale's amendment, so that
while the House Is investigating fraud,
the Senate can be beating q big drum to
drown the noise and convince the coun-
try that it is only the regular spring cir.
Gus come to town after all This bright
inspiration will hardly hoodwink any
body.


Judge Jere Black is In town, helping
on the cause of investigation with his
counsel. Outside of those who had a
hand in the fraud, there Is no man in the
country better informed on the subject
than Judge Black.
Year: 1878




We learn from high authority that the
B. Il o. Company contemplate q consol-
dstion of the round houses, repair shops,
etc, at present located at Bellaire and
Wheeling. The new location will be st
neither place, but will be on the main
line of the road either east or west ottne
river bridge, and some miles from it.
If the location has been determined
the parties who know seem disposed
to keep it very quiet for the
present. As far as our present Informa-
lion goes, it leads Us to believe that this
step Is taken simply for the purpose of re-
duc'ng the expenses Of the company as
much as possible, but just how the change
proposed will effect tnst result we are at
present unable 10 see, though doubtless
those persons familiar with the wants and
interests of the company may be able TO
demonstrate just how the company will
be benefited.
Year: 1878

There are those in the city, and they
constitute the majority, who have not
the means to travel, and who cannot
spare the time from their work. The
poor man enjoys the beauty and life
of rural scenes as much as the rich man
Year: 1878

girl Six years old sat crying the stoop Of No.
Batavia street on Sunday evening. To Officer Levy.
OF the Fourth precinct who inquired what allied her.
she stated that her father and mother upstairs
In beastly state of intoxicaticn. They had given
her ten cents and sent her out to buy brandy
had done several times during the day. The officer
accompanied the child to room the third floor.
where he found Mary and John Sullivan both drunk
and lying upon the floor The parents taken to
the station house and locked up and the child given
into the custody OF the Society for tho Prevention of
sent to the Catholic Protectory by Judge Murray at
the Tombs Police Court. The father and mother were
discharged. liquor dealer, named Pearce Franklin
Washington O'Sulvan and who. it is alleged by the
child sold her liquor was also arrested and held in
500 bail for trial upon charge OF violating the
Excise law. For having in his possession revolver
at the time Of his arrest he ordered to pay ne
a $40.
Year: 1878

At an early hour yesterday morning Jersey City
police officer met Newark avenue carrying
a suspicious looking bag. When the officer inquired
the contents of the bag the told him it mono
OF his business and added II have got Stewards body
II you want to know" The officer took the man TO
the police station, where he registered a. James
Burke and was locked up. The bag contained old
Clothes and yesterday Judge Davis fined the man SIS
for his Joke.
Year: 1878

The following resolution was unani-
mously adopted at the immense mass
meeting of the workingmen of the District,
on Wednesday evening, in front of the City
Hall:


Whereas the people of the District of Co.
lumbia are liable to all the penalties and obli-
cations in loyal support Of the Government of
the United States, in common with all other
citizens Of our vast Republic: Therefore,


BE IL resOired That, in Congress enancting
the new law for the government of the Dis
trct, VIC demand the right and privilege,
through our suflraCes, of choosing one of the
Commissioners provided for governing the
people of the District of Columbia


The above is a comprehensive and at the
same time very suggestive comm entary
upon the peculiar condition under which
the political rights of 10000 American tax
paying citizens of the District of Columbia
are ignored. The workingmen and all other
male citizens in the District are required in
time of danger to step forward and peril
their lives and fortune in defense of the
Government OF the United States, and are
number of American citizens toward the
support of the Republic, and at the same
time are denied all participation in the gov
ernment or their municipal affairs.


The thanks of the community are due
the workingmen for this demand for the
right to choose through the sufl'rages of our
people of Mt least one of the Commissioners
provided for governing the people of the
District of Columbia.


We are curious to see how the honorable
members of the present Congress can adj
journ and 20 home to their respective con-
stituencies and ask for reelection from their
people without first recognizing the right of
the wOrkingmen and other citizens of this
large community of having voice in their
own local government. We trust the con-
ference committee having IN charge the
pending bill for new government for the
District of Columbia will read, ponder, and
digest.
Year: 1878

o protect PorTERo and ANDERSON from
Democratic rage and violence when they
get through with their wonderful dis
closures, unless they shall push on their
promised revolution, and Mexicanize the
country. PoTTERo must either revolvc or
walk Spanish" and as for ANDERSON, he
ought to be enlisted in the editorial staff of
the Gazette. Then its mendacity might
become more graceful and piquant. Its
scurrility is eminent already. Another
professor need not be added to that depart
ment
Year: 1878

COULD not the Democracy let their own
fnfamy alone without thus again at this late
day raking it up and setting it before the
people? One would think they would have
more sense but then this.is one of the pecu-
liarities of their general makeup, whereby
they are all at the mercy of few unprinci-
pied leaders, who think that they see some
opportunity ahead of lettering their indi-
vidual condition, with no fear OF the igno-
rance of the Democratic masses calling them
TO account for their actions.
Year: 1878

ALL parties are liable to collect all sorts
OF characters, but there are two elements in
the Democrat" party thut are peculiarly
characteristic of it, viz: Arrogant bullies
Tor its leaders and ignorance and submission
on the part of its masses Such being the
status of the party, it is not to be wondered
at that there is both the spirit to do and the
willingness to follow in any track, no mat
ter how rcpulsive to the moral sense, so long
rs thereby there is the least hope of accom-
plishing some selfish or narrow or even rcyo-
lutionary motive
Year: 1878

So long as the public money is used it
matters little to true Democrat if il
b disposed of to no purpose so much the
better; it only helps the Mexican movement
along. tends TO increase the national debt, and
helps bring on financial distress and even
rnin. Connive, gentlemen, at all the WAYS
and means your low imnginations can sug-
gest to destroy the grand popular Govern
nent, squander its moneys on nothing or on
mammoth Southern war claims, and deny
i to worthy and loyal expenditures This
consistent with your disloyal actions for
'he past quarter of n century or more.
Year: 1878

THE grand difference between the Repub-
hcan and Democratic parties is in their
general makeup. In the Republican party
we see diffusion of knowledge and indi-
vidual superiority that is not easy for any
one-man power to control, and which is i'm.
possible TO control in behalf of narrow or
doubtful measures; while in the Demo-
cratic party we have few sharp leader,
and n mass of submissive followers Moth
ing could expose this difference in the two
parties more than the present situation
Year: 1878

HOSE who hold confidential relations
: h President HAYES represent him as be-
ng very desirous of securing the next


iouse of Representatives against the Demo-
'mtic party. If he is correctly represented


this regard and is in full sympathy with
such purpose, his path must be very plain
% his own vision. There is but one way
II which this end can be reached. The Re-
publican party must secure majority in
The next House, with or without the aid of
'he President and his administration or the
Democrats will bag it again. And it is for
him to decide to what extent it shall enioy
his aid and influence in accomplishing that
purpose, Faith without works is dead
Year: 1878

This school will commence work this
Saturday afternoon. Meeting in the school
room ON the N. z. corner of Fifth and
King streets at Q o'clock, The teachers
and scholars win please meet promptly at
the hour named.
Year: 1878

Friday night a smart young man
who lives out on Maple Street, found
toad hopping around in the gar
den, and thought il would be a capi-
tai joke to put it in the table draw
or aud let it hop out suddenly and
scare his wife. Before he could close
the drawer he was called into an ad.
joining room, and forgot all about the
toad, which during the night, hop
ped out on the Aoor and crawling
into a vacant boot passed a very
pleasant night, The next morning
the house was Mortified by shrieks Of
masculine distress, and an old wo.
man on the other side Of the street,
going home from market, was knock
ed into the middle of the next week
by flying boot that came through
a front window. The smart man
drank pint of whisky to settle his
nerves and said this custom of play
ing practical jokes was as dangerous
rs it was foolish, and if ever. he
caught anybody fooling around his
boots again with tOads or anything
else, he would teach them a salutary
lesson. Burlington Hapkeyc.
Year: 1878

A philosopher says 1--WE learn to
climb by keeping our eyes not on the
hills behind us, but on thcmountains
before us" Another way is to take
n couple of rods the start, and try to
beat an enthusiastic bulldog over a
nine.foot fence.
Year: 1878

A newspaper in the fullest sense Of tho word.
at once adapted to the Merchant, the Me-
chaAic. the Farmer, and everybody
desirous of keeping Up with the
stirring news of this live and


progressive age.
Year: 1878

Twenty Thousand PEOPLE
old and young. every week. 1t is just to say
that the patrons of the WESTERN
METHODIST belong to the best class Of
community.


We desire our business men to make nOte
OF the above facts before completing their
advertising arrangements for the coming
season.


We use our best effOrta to keep our columns
free of all irregular and irresponsible adver-
tisinsi for many good people seeing an ad-
vertisement in paper. especially their
church paper. take it as guarantee of re-
sponsibility. Such confidence should not te
abused when 1t can be helped. We want.
therefore,
Year: 1878

-


In the report recently laid before
the German minister for education
by the scientific committee for med
ical affairs, the conclusions arrived
at are that gas light has no preiu-
dicial effect upon the eyes, provided
they are protected from its direct
action. For this purpose the com.
mittee recommend shades and bell
glasses Of translucent glass porce-
lain. They disapproye of opaque
metallic shades, since when these
are used the eyes, though them
selves in shade, gaze upon strong
ly illuminated surface, aud become
dazzled and oyer-stimulated. On
account of the large quantity of
beat evolved by gas, the burner
should not be too near the head of
the person; the heat is liable to
cause headache and even congestion
of the brain. Care should also be
taken to prevent the flame from
Pickering. The use of dark-blue
glass is also suggested in cases of
irritation With these precautions
the committee believe that gas light
may be used without mischief.
Year: 1878

The little daughter Of a leading physi-
clan in a country town presents The ioi-
lowing us her first school essay: There
was little girl, and she was very sick;
they sent tor my papa, and she died ve.y
quick"
Year: 1878

Going "down the bay" means sleep
ing on straw in the hold of vessel, or
ali old sail or coil or ropes; getting up
at three o'clock in the morRing and won
dering how soon breakfast will be ready;
fighting mosquitoes in the night and
green headed flies in the day time; fish
ing in waters without getting bite, and


being told that some fellow caught 140
trout in an hour the day before, angling


for black fish that lun away with your
lit nine times out of ten, aud when you


do catch one it is only little one; pui-
ling four-pound sheep's-head Just out
of the water when he aggravatingly drops
back again, and that is the last of him
1t means being bounced by the storms.


and lying becalmed for hours waiting for
head winds and tides when you want to
reach desired haven. 1t means variety,
novelty, fun aud health in abundance,
and TO bring out and lay bare the best
and worst-traits in your character,
and to impress you, as fully as any thing
can do, that there Is no place like home.