Year: 1879

y =
ly loved a beautiful girl on Warren
avenue, besought of her recently to name
the happy day, which she did with such
fond, reluctant delay that it would hard
ly have been thought that she had made
up her mind what the date was to be
more than two months before, SO soon as
she saw that he really meant biz. They
accordingly waited upon the author Of
her beng, and, going down on their
the land, and besought of him his bless
ing. He was a practical and economical
old man, with a mind fertile of resource,
and when the young man had stam-
mered that he loved her dearer than his
life, and had a salary of 81 900, and that
he hoped-the old man caught up his
trusty Toledo CO., walking stick, aud,
calling his prospective son-in-law many
hard names, drove HIM out of the house ;
then seizing his daughter by her tiny
shel-lac ear he awayed with her to the
deepest bedroom beneath the attic
root, and locked her in there. What
was the consequence? That very night
a young man came with rope
ladder, an ample cloak, and marriage
llcensc,, and stole his bride away, and
they were made one at West Side
church. The young wife then said to
her husband, "Algernon, my father be-
haved toward you as mean as all get-out
still he was my mothers husband, and
we ought to have some Difference for him,
so let US go to HIM and tell him that we
are welded, and ask his blessing. Beside,
l want to get my brush and comb bag
that left on the bureau.'' "Wel], III
go" said the young husband; 'but, mind
you, Matilda, if he lays hand on me
save in kindness, I'll knock his two eyes
into one. l suffered his previous indig-
mites because he was the hoary ry-headed
author of your being, but he is only my
bald-headed old father-in-law, and I
won't stand it, if he is three times as old
as | am" Accordingly they went home,
and when they got there, and were ex,
citedly feeling for the bell-pull, the old
man opened the door and said, 'Come
in, come in. How's the blushing bride,
eh? Bless you my children Now, by
the time we have partaken of bottle of
champagne which is in the ice-box the
hack will be here to convey you down
town, or to any railroad depot you may
be pleased to indicate" They followed the
old man into the parlor, like people in a
dream. II was afraid once, he said cheer
fully, ""hen saw Matilda coming down
that ladder that the durn thing would
break-fCr she's full sixteen ounces to the
pound, Matilda is-and drive all nv new
rosebushes and tulips into the ground.
Why on earth didn't you, when you were
compelled to flee from my wrath, elope
out OF the front door, like Christians? I
left Matllda's dungeon-cell unlocked and
I left the front door ajar, I went to the
foot of the stairs and snored at the top of
M voice so as to give you every tacility.'' -
"Do you mean to say, venerable and re-
spected sir" said his new made son-in-
law, "that you have and have had no OBJ
Jectlons to my paying my addresses to
your daughter?" 'Never the least in the
world" replied the old man, beaminc
blandly on them; "you are the son-in-laW
I should have picked out of millions, if
| had been permitted to choose, and even
had l not been satisfied of your worth
and sobriety I could not have found it in
my heart to refuse to do what Matilda de-
sired me to do" "Then, sir,'' exclaimed
the young husband, thinking that perhaps
he had married into a family having the
hereditary taint of insanity in the blood !:
"then, sir what did you give me the grand
bounce for in such an energetic and in
consistent manner9" s'because nv dear
boy said the good old man II saw that
if did you would lnstantaneously take
out license and elope with the girl, and
get married at an expense of $3.50, borne
exclusively by you, whereas if the mar
riage took place in the ordinary course
of events would have been stuck for a
trousseau, and dresses, and flowers, and a
dejeuner, and presents, and so on to the
extent of at least $4,000. You will find
81 900 in this pocketbook for expenses
during your bridal trip; the remaining
81 500 l am in and they are but the
legitimate reward of my ingenuity. You
will surely not object to paying such a
price for four months more of welded
bliss than you would have otherwise en-
joyed, and for the chance of beginning
your married life in romantic manner =
They couldn't Of course Chicago Tri-
b1ne.


Two colors appear in the fashionable
Parisian stocking; but they are SO. dis
trlbuted that the world is none the wiser