Year: 1878

No bird i. actually on the wing.
The wings are on the bird.


What man must have his glass be-
fore he can do days worki A
glazier.


No full grown burglar will ever
rob a church. He only does that in
his pew-pillage.


"Will you love me when I
mould?" AS the loaf OF bread said
to the house-keeper.


Switzerland has adopted law for
bidding the employment in factories
of children under fourteen.


A man may get mad and Strike at
flea with a crowbar, but he's al
ways sorry for it afterward.


The cost of constructing the Paris
Exposition building was $9,069,00O,
exceeding the estimate by $4,000, 900.


1t is bad enough to have dog days;
but it is almost too much for good
nature to be afflicted also with cat
nights.


What is the difference between
bare figure and an ancient song2
One is nudity, and the other is an
old ditty.


Agricultural grumblers say we are
not going to have any corn this year.
What will we do for ten-year-old
whiskyl


Edison is going to reap all the
glory of the next decade if some of
YOU chaps do not get up and stir
yourselves.


When Adam was half through
naming his descendants, he got tired,
and said, "Let's quit and call the
rest Smith,"


Two twin brothers are said to be
so much alike that they frequently
borrow money of each other with
out knowing it.


When each and every person in
our land owns bank, a railroad,
four stores and a span of Congress
men, times will begin to look up.


Two men we're hanged in Chicago,
Friday, and st. Louis paper wants
Chicago to remember and erase their
names from the next directory.


An Iowa couple who had decided to
separate, but could not agree about
the possession of their baby, finally
settled the matter by selling the
infant to neighbor for fifty dollars.


Cham depicts Partisan welcom-
ing country relative with, "How
good it is of you to come, for you
are just in time to assist me in nurs.
ing a friend from Rio Janeiro, who
has the yellow fever"


There are some sad things in this
life. The editor Of the Barton (Vt)
Monitor, who aided in securing the
passage of the fish and game law,
was fined ten dollars and costs the
other day for violation of the act.


Epitaph on tombstone in South
Carolina: "Here is the body of Rob-
ert Gordin, mouth almighty and
teeth accordin'; stranger, tread light
ly over this wonder; if he opens his
mouth you are gone, by thunder"


Talk about list of words not to
be used, such as the late Mr.. Bryant
is said to have prepared! Why, one
language isn't half extensive enough
for some people as it is. Here is the
New York Herald talking about
"needful necessaries." Are either
of those words in Mr.. Bryant's pro-
scribed lista-Boston Post. "Are
either" is decidedly good.-New
Haven Register.


Did you ever notice what differ
ent aspect everything wears in the
sunshine from what ii does in the
shadowa-Ex. Indeed we have.
Particularly in the case of a pair of
black pants, somewhat aged, which
will look as clean as whistle in
doors, but out in the sunshine spots
will show up as frightfully conspicu-
Gus as piece of custard in a mus.
tache.


Park-street Church has attracted
much attention from passers-by as
the work Of painting its exterior has
progressed, and what follows is
worthy of record. Said one gentle
man to another as they stood look
ing at the church very recently: How
could you, my friend, during this
warm weather, reach the gilded ball
upon that steeple without the aid Of
rope or ladder2" The inquiry was
unanswered, even after due reflection,
and the querist explained, "Per-
Spire l"-BOston paner 4aA