smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1867

A story, now current in Paris, is as
follows:


Alady, in the first society, was recent
ly obliged to dismiss her nurse on ac-
count of an excess of fremen and
private soldiers too often repeated.


After choosing q successor to this
criminal very pretty girl, explaining
why the tirst was sent away, eDjoined it
on the second not to do likewise.


She admitted that she shouldn't.


81 can endure good deal, said the
lady, "but soldiers about the kitchen 1
won't endure"


After a week or eight days the lady
came one morning into the kitchen,
opened a cupboard, and diseoYered a
youthful military character.


"Oh, ma'sm w cried the girl, fright
ened, 81 give you my word I never saw
that soldier before in all my ife-he
must have been one Of the old ones
left over by the other grip
Year: 1867




TYPOGRAPHICAL HoRRoRs.-A New
York letter writer thus sketches few
typographical errors:


One day last year, Mr.. Greeley wrote
an editorial entitled civilian II.
Seward" Imagine his rage when it
came to him in proof headed "Richard
the Third" Yet anybody familiar
with chirography, if his inky jerks can
be so designated, will readily see, not
only how such q mistake could be made,
but how it probably would be. Again
he wrote about ''Three men in buck
ram" sad the prosaic type-setter got
1t Three men in back room"


And this, Notwithstanding the fact
that two compositors of sagacity and
experience are hired at an extra salary,
because they can read his copy.
Year: 1867

A Scotch lady, from a country town
in the Highlands, being taken to Edin-
burgh, and hearing modern singing in
a church for the first time, was asked
by the lady who took her what she
thought of the music, &c. ''It's vera
bonny, vera bonny; but oh, my Teddy,
its an awful way Of spending the Sab
bath I" r
Year: 1867

Does the Court understand you to
say Mr.. Jones, that you saw the editor
of the Augur of Freedom intoxicated"
''Not at all sir. 1 merely said that l
had seen him so furried in his mind
that he would undertake to cut out
copy with the snUfers, that's all"
Year: 1867

A country girl, coming from the field
being told by her poetic cousin that
she looked as fresh as q daisy kissed
with dew, said: "WelI, it wasn't any
fellow by that name, but it was Steve
Jones that kissed me. told him that
every one in town would find It out"
Year: 1867

Sidney Smith said that scertain per-
son was so fond of contradiction that
he would throw up the window in the
middle of the night and contradict the
watchman who was calling the hour.
Year: 1867




With this issue we present the premium
lis; offered by the Wulla Walla Agricultural
Society, aud bespeak for it the careful at
tention of our readers. The premiums Of


fered are liberal, and should have the effect
to bring out a full exhibition of the agricul-
tural and other products of our Valley, We
have here one of the finest agricultural dis
tricts on the Pacific coast, and it should be
our pride to see that our magnificent resour-
ces are fully aud fairly represented, Of the
utility of fairs, and the influence they exert
on the general growth and development, it is
useless to argue. In Europe or America,
take the communities in which fairs are held
10 the highest esteem and most literally
patronizcd, aud there we 6nd the greatest
amount of wealth combined with the highest
degree of Intelligence and virtue. In the
adjoining State of Oregon, we find that our
neighbors date the period of their greatest
prosperity from the time when they COM
menced giving their earnest aud undivided
attention to the business of holding State
and county fairs. Under the influence of
these annual exhibitions, the industrial re>
sources of Oregon have been developed 10 an
extent never before attained, and the projec'
tors of these fairs have been amply repaid
for their outlay of time and means, in the
enhanced value of property and the general
prosperity that followed. In Washington
Territory we have been slow to avail ours
selves of the advantages that follow in the
train of these annual exhibitions of the
products of industry, but Low that our peo>
pie are awake to their importance, we antici-
pate the most favorable results. On all
sides we hear the notes of preparation for
the coming fair, and judging from the ndi>
cations, the exhibition promises to be a grand
success. The products of our teeming soil
would alone suffice to render the exhibition
both entertaining and instructive; but in
addition to the display of the products of
the farm and the garden, We shall have a
grand assemblagc of the finest stock in a
district of country where unusual attention
has been paid to the rearing of fine cattle.
This feature of the Fair alone will amply
repay the visitor for any expenditure of time
and money. In addition to the settlers in
our own immediate Valley, we hear that our
neghbors on the Touchet, as also those on
the Umatlla, and indeed the whole vas, -
tent of country of which Walla Walla is the
central point, are preparing to unite with US
in making the Fair creditable reflex of the
industrial and agricultural resources of the
Columbia River Valley. Our neighbors will
be here not only with the products of their
farms and their finest stock, but they will
also bring with them their families-their
wives and little ones-and for all these thev
will find hearty welcome
Year: 1867

a FAILuRE.-The Oregon City paper
mill is advertised to be sold at sheriff's sale.
This announcement will surprise many per-
sons who supposed the enterprise to be q
success. ln California paper mills have
uniformly been found paying institutions,
aud we know of no reason why they should
fail in Oregon. Had the mill originally
engaged in the manufacture of printing
instead of wrapping paper, We think the
result would have been different. We have
no doubt but that the mill will yet fall into
the hands Of men who will make it paying
concern.
Year: 1867

The DARKEYs AHEAD.-The registry of voters
in Louisiana, shows that the negroes outnumber
the whites in the proportion of two to one. At
thatrate Sumner is likely to be grati6ed in hav'
ing the pleasure of welcoming negroes to the
floor of the U. S. Senate. The negroes having
the power to elect men of their own color, it
will be strange indeed if they fail to exercise it.
When the inferior races are allowed to rule, we
shall reproduce in the United States. the scenes
for which Mexico is now famous Revolutions
will be everyday occurrence, and from the
rule of anarchy we shall take refuge in the rule
of despotsm.
Year: 1867

GooD TEMPLARs.-The Corvallis Gazette
says that in less than two years one hundred
lodges of Good Templars have been organ
lied in Oregon. To which we may add that
there is scarce settlement of any note in
Washightou Territory that does not boast
lodge Of Good Templars.
Year: 1867

Our exchanges from all quarters of the country,
are discussing the question of taxation, and with
rare unanimity they all agree in saying that
means must be devised to relieve the people
from the burdens urder which they groan. The
returns of income for 1866, show large falling
off from that of the previous year, the conclusion
from which is that business does not pay as well
as formerly, and the prospects for the future are
gloomy indeed. Capital to q great extent, says
an exchange, seeksinvestment in non. tax paying
bends, leaving tradesmen, manufacturers and
mechanics to struggle on as well as they may
with limited means, and taxed over and over
again on everything they make or handle Mean
time there is no effort, no disposition to retrench
In government expenses, nor to lessen the bur-
dens resting upon the people by reason of enor-
nous taxation. On the contrary, ell Federal
legislation has been founded upon basis of in>
creasiug expenses and multiplying taxes. The
army and navy to-day might be reduced to a
peace footing, at saving of Sl5O,OOO,O 900 per
year, instead of which it is kept up for no other
purpose than to domineer over aud trample upon
conquered, impoverished and WELL nigh ruined
people. Hoards of civil Offices nave been crea-
ted 'to eat and to subsist," who might be dis
pensed with. Half the negroes made free by
emancipation, aIe fed at the expense of the Fed,
eral treasury through the Freedman's Bureau.
If that pauper institution were abolished, and
the employer and employed left unmolested to
manage their own affairs, the demand for labor
on the one hand and the necessity of wages for
labor as the sole means of susteuance on the
other hand, would afford all needful protection
snd support of the blacks. The policy of the
dominant party, in its length and breadth, is
calculated to depress trade and industry, and to
overload the people with burdens. Unless there
be a change, universal bankruptcy aud ruin are
inevitable.
Year: 1867




The BRANCH MINT.-Our Dalles neighbors
with an energy that is emiuently creditable, are
still urging the establishment of Branch Mint
in their midst. They ask their friends through.
out the country to aid them in their enterprise
and to this end have issued the following, ad-
dressed to the citizens of Washington Territory:


We solicit your assistance for our and your
mutual benefit, to have the law of Congress an.
proved July 4th, 1864, establishing a Branch
Mint at Dalles City, carried into effect for the
following reasons


lst. 1t has now become a fixed fact that either
this law of Congress must be carried into effect
or the State OF Oregon must lose that institution


2nd, With Branch Mints established at San
Francisco and in the State of Nevada. bullion
from the mines of Oregon, and the adjoining
Territories, will 60 to one or the other of those
Branch Mints for coinage at great expense to the
miner and trader, and a loss to our State of the
trade which always follows the currency. Rv
having Branch Mint established in OREGON. we
secure TO ourselves the trade of the mines in our
vicinity, lessen our dependency upon California
AIu 10 measure, secure a separate identity as
State, which we scarcely have at present.


Sd. With a Mint established in Oregon Ioroo
amounts of gold from the British Provinces
would go into American coin, and following that
we would secure to Oregon the trade Of the
mines on the Upper Columbia and elsewhere on
the British border.


In continuation of the project here suggested.
the people of Dalles City have prepared me,
mortal, in which they ask the Secretary of the
Treasury to at once proceed with the erection of
the necessary Mint buildings, as Contemplated
by the law of 1864. Those of our citizens who
may favor the measure, will find copy of the
memorial at the store of Brown Bros. GCo.
where they are invited to call and afix their
signatures. 'nei'
Year: 1867

The REWARD FOR THE ARREST OF JEFF. DAVIS
One of the charges that has been brought against
the President, and out of which tae radicals have
attempted to make capital, was the issuing of
the Presidents proclamation, offering a reward
of one hundred thousand dollars for the appre>
hension of Davis, and charging the latter with
completely in the assassination of Lincoln, The
Judiciary Committee, engaged in nosing out
everything relating to the President, lately had
Secretary Stanton up for examination, when that
eminent radical testified that the whole matter
was conducted Oy himself and Messrs. Holt and
Speed, and that the President had nothing to do
with it. The trio-Stanton, Holt and Speed
are all thorough paced radicals, and it now turns
out that the President has been made scape,
goat for their msdeeds
Year: 1867

Notwithstanding the universal cry of " hard
times" the Dalles is steadily improving John
Williams, Esq, our popular auctoneer, is about
TO build fine stone store on the corner of Wash
ington and Main streets the building is to be
fire proof; the doors and castings will be man.
ufactured in this city. When completed it will
add considerably to the appearance of Main
street,
Year: 1867

THE MIssoULA MAIL.-A bungliug arrangement
has been made, by which the Missoula mail is
carried around Walla Walla, greatly to the in
convenience of numbers of settlers who depend
upon this mail exclusively as their means of
communication. The Delta Post Office affords
an illustration of the bungHng character of the
present arrangement. The settlers on the Tou-
chet and Coppei, numbering in the aggregate,
not less than one thousand persons, receive their
letters aud papers through the Delta Post Office
This Office is distant from Wala Walla, not to
exceed twenty miles, yet the mail is made up
here, then sent to Wallula, and thence to the
Delta, making 2 circuit of from eighty to one
hundred miles, And OBTAINING the mail from the
Delta people all the way from four to six days.
We think it would be difficult to find a more ad-
mirable specimen Of chow not to do it" and we
take it that when the attention of Postal Agent
Brooks is directed to the inconvenience he will
promptly apply remedy. During the time that
Altman carried the mail there was no complaint
on this score, and what could have induced the
new contractor to bungle the arrangement in this
manner, we fail to understand
Year: 1867

y


Governor Swami and the Maryland mi
litia have caused the Radicals much un-
casinCss of late Horrible stories OF
what they are secretly plotting to do in
case things should happen thus and so,
and terrible threats of loyal vengeance il
they but dare to put their plots into exc
cution, are going the rounds Of the Rad
ical press, frightening old women and
little children almost out of their wits.
Perhaps some of these Radical editors
really believe, like the valiant Governor
of Pennsylvania, that Governor Swami
contemplates a grand coup d etas, for the
overthrow of the Government and the an
initiation of the armies of the Republic.
If they do, it only shows what arrant
towards and silly coots clustering Radi-
cal editors are. The Maryland militia
are, no doubt brave body of men, but
as they are mortal and cannot be expect
ell to do more than mOrtais usually do,
even though they should be led by so
distinguished parsonage as Governor
Swami, we conclude that the Government
is safe yet awhile Seriously, what is the
meaning of this hullabalo over the Mary
land militiaI Is it to prepare the public
mind for a collision which they have de-
termined to bring about. and for which
they are even..now preparing their plans 2
We would not be surprised if such was
the case. Their disposition to resort to
any scheme, no matter how violent, who
can doubt? The Maryland militia will
interfere with no men or set of men en-
gagged in lawful undertaking. AS long
rs the Rumpers and their friends shall
keep within the pale of the law, and at
tend to their legitimate duties and not
try to usurp the powers of a coordinate
branch of the Government or attempt to
trample upon the Constitutional rights OF
a sovereign State, they will not be mo,
Tested by the militia of Maryland or by
the military power of any other State.
If, however, they are foolish enough to
think they can accomplish all this and
actually make move towards its con-
summation, it will not be the Maryland
militia alone that they will have to en-
counter. A million of men as brave as
ever wore sword or handled q musket.
will spring to the contest. They are not
anxious to hear the tap of the drum that
shall call them to the defence of their
Liberties, but when they do hear it they
will respond in such numbers that the
misunderstanding scoundrels and would-be
tyrants will be trodden out of existence


If the Radicals are possessed ola thimble
full Of brains, they will hesitate long be.
fore lighting the flames of another ciyi


war.-BridgepOrt Conn. Farmer,
Year: 1867

100000
Each Certificate of Stock Is accompanied with
BEAUTIFUL STEEL-PLArE ENCRAv1xc
WORTH MORE AT RETAIL THAN TIE COST OF


CERTIFICATE,


And also nsures to the holder
rNEoENF in THE GREAT DISTRIBUTION.
Year: 1867

One winters day the farmers wife said to
her maid:


"Scrape up all these bits of fat and meat,
and throw them to the hens-I hope that il
will make them lay Take care that the old
rooster does not gobble them up


However, the cock had schooled his little
flock, beforehand, by Growing TO them thus !:


"My sisters, meat is intended for males; 1t
is strong food and unsuited for the slender
female frame. Everybody knows that hens
have always been more lovely and delicate
than we are and let it be your care, oh be
loved sisters, to preserve the beauty of this
providential arrangement.


The hens were much moved by this tender
praise of the speaker, and they said one to
another, 81 do not want meat; have plen-
ty of good food without it see the excellent
bits of potato and cold turnip.' But one hen
in this flock was strong-mindcd. and. in spite
of the eloquence of the cock, she persisted
in picking mp the scraps of meat. Then the
other hens cried out:


"Oh, fic! she is stepping out of her pro-
per place. Why cant she be satisfied to
live like the rest of the world 2"


The hen was sorry that they were angry
with her; but the meat was very good, and
she was further comforted when she saw her
nest full Of beautiful eggs.
Year: 1867




II il impossible for woman who has no
practical knowledge Of housekeeping to
know how much she has right to expect Of
her servants and therefore with kind inten-
tions towards them she may, in her ignor-
ance, be unreasonable and unjust. House.
keeping is complicated science, no less than
useful art, and requires an educated, self
controlled brain to bring all its requisitions
into systematic proportion. With such
brain to guide them fewer servants are re-
quired, and the work is far better done than
in houses where the mistress is compelled by
her ignorance to leave everything to go on
as it may, without any guidance on her part.


What right has the mistress to complain
of the ignorance of the maid while her own
ignorance is as great? when in fact she of
ten makes it her pride and boast that she
knows nothing of housework. There are
families still left in the land where the same
servants live year after year, and where the
domestic machinery moves on without the
jarring and creaking, the stoppings and the
breaking down that characterize most of our
households. Where this is the case, the lady
of the house, you may be pretty sure, was
brought up in the old-fashioned way, and
still believes there is no degradation 1t know
ing how work should be done, or even in be-
ing able to do 1t herself. She has probably
also respect for womanhood that enables
her to treat her domestics with the courtesy
which is due from lady towards every one
whom she approaches, and most especially
due towards an inferior.


Such woman has the faculty of drawing
around her, domestics of respectable char
acter, and of attaching them to herself, SO
that they are not willing to leave her
"Good mistresses make good maids" is Ia
proverb that still holds true, however un-
willing many mistresses may be to believe it.
A woman that despises servants as a class,
and believes them to be all thieves and liars,
will be liable to draw that kind of servants
about her A woman who believes that we
are all children of one Father and who
treats her domestics as If they were human
beings with immortal souls, capable of in
struction, and differing from herself only
because it pleased the Almighty to deny
them the blessing of education that have
been given to herself, will find women to
serve her, capable of instruction and willing
to be instructed.
Year: 1867

-TorGH, CHEAP PIECES OF BEEF, can be
made tender and palatable as follows If salt,
freshcn in water. Put into the pot with
trifle more water than will be finally needed.
Set into the top of the cooking pot closely
fitting tin pail or pan, and fill It with cold
water, II this gets boiling hot, dip out
somc and add cold water from time to time.
Boil the meat until it gets so entirely tender
that the bones will drop out, even if it takes
five or ten hours. The steam and aroma or
flavor of the meat, will be condensed on the
bottom of the covering pan or pail of water
and drop back, and thus be retained. When
thoroughly done, remove the cover, and
slowly simmer down thick enough to jelly
when cold
Year: 1867

| never be an agreeable companion for me
nor can the natural gaiety of my temper be
ever agreeable to him. Though his fond
ness at first may connive at the little free
doms | shall be apt to take; yet, as soon as
1T abates little, he will grow jealous, and
ever torment me without a cause. shall
be debarred of every diversion suitable to
my years, though ever so harmless or iu-
offensive permitted to see no company
sent down perhaps to some melancholy
rural recess: and there, like my lady Grace
in the play, sit pensive and alone under a
green tree" A man seldom participates
in the sufferings or grievances Of his wife,
but woman always and ever partakes in
those of her husband 1t is her share to
feel every inquietude that may beset those
around her-to to comfort, relieve, and
mourn when there are objects for such !;
but mans eyes are ever dry, and keen,
indeed, must be the pang that draws forth
his tears. His occupation is that of the
world - hers is that of home: the one is
that Of tumult = the otherjs that of quiet,
silence and continual hope These diff
ferences are essential to their natures,
and lead to a general harmony, a recipro-
cal feeling, and mutual softness of dis
position. After the tumults of the day,
all memfeel disposed to settle themselves
quietly by the freside; and the house
wife busies herself with more diligence
to administer to his comforts. The little
prattlers gather ROUND; and grandpap in
his easy chair, gently strokes little An
ME and places her upon his knee. 1t is
at home that man forgets the trials and
labors of the day; and that man, indeed
is truly wretched who cannot find COM
fort in his home. Whatever harshness he
may meet from the world, he is always
sure to find pleasure in the society of his
family. They know no other Guty than
that of love. A mans food is far sweeter
to him when shared with the little ones
They eat with more avidity off Pap's
plate, and their prattle is merrier and
louder when he draws his big chair close
to the table. And Ma'am is truly happy
then. She feels exalted in the Office of
providing the good things She, too,
forgcts her labors now, and is equally
joyful as the urchins make a raid on
Pap's " tatoes" and crout." They are
now Just as they were designed to be-
happy, smiling, and giving gladness to
one another. Each feels for the suffer
ings of the other ministers comfort,
and imparts courage.


Man and Woman have just now arrived
to the summit of their worldly destiny
They are the same in hope = their pur-
suits are one = their objects and their
plans Both have the same view in the
consumation of their earthly desires.


IANGFORD.