Year: 1874

This boy was q good boy. He would have
been an angel to-day but for the deceit of
this false-hearted world. He wasn't one of
a set of triplets, and therefore didn't have
honors showered down upon him in his early
days, but old women said there was founda-
tion there f0r an orator, q great general or
philosopher, and old men examined his head
and said it was level. Nothing particular
happened to this Christopher Columbus until
the eighth year of his reign. His childhood
days were full of mud pies, the butt end of
shingles, paregoric, castor oil, and old straw
hats with the front brim worn of. He was
q deep thinker and close observer for q
small boy, and he was just innocent enough
to believe things which other boys pitched
out of windows without a second thought.


When Christopher was going on nine years
old, he heard it said that 50 penny saved
was two pence earned" He therefore laid
big Bungtown away in a crack under tie
map board, and every day he looked to see
it grow two cents. He had confidence and
patience, but at length both gave away. Then
he got the cent out one day, and Mrs. Nor
toms baby swallowed it, and that was the
last of that Bungtown. The youthful Chris
topher didn't believe in max;ns quite so
much as before, but he hadn't cut all his eye
teeth yet.


When this boy was year older he heard
that truth is mighty and will prevail, and
that boy who always spoke the truth would
make a great and q good man. He COM
menced to tell the truth. One day he got
his fathers best razor out and hacked it on
q stone, and when the old gent came home
and -aI -br, . thah hat hrIG-
topher Columbus spoke up and said:


ut was |, father,-l notched your old
razor"


"You did, eh ?" sneered the old man as he
looked up in q peach tree; "well, PIl hI
you so you will never touch another razor
for mei"


And he cut budding limb and dressed that
boy until the youth saw stars. That night
Christopher Columbus determined never to
tell the truth again unless by accident, and
all through life he stuck to the resolution.


When the lad was about twelve years of
age he read in little book that ''honesty is
the best policy" He didn't more than half
believe it, but he thought he'd try. He went
to be honest. One day his mother send him
to the grocery to buy eggs, and Bill Jones
induced him to squander the change in the
purchase of soda water. When he got home
his mother asked for the balance, and Chris
topher explained.


"Spent it for soda, eh?" she replied.
"Here your poor mother is working like a
slave, and you are around swilling down
soda water don't think you'll swill down
any more, don't Come over my right
knee"


And she agitated him in the liyliest man.
ner. That night as he turned on his downy
straw bed the boy made up his mind that it
didn't pay, and he resolved TO cheat the
whole world if he could


When Christopher was half year older
he came across the injunction: "Be kind TO
the poor" He did no; know whether it
would pay or not, but he set about it. He
knew q poor woman who sadly needed a
spring bonnet, and he took over his mother s
along with few other things, including his
fathers second pair of boots, his own Sunday
shoes and so on. He went around feeling
very big-hearted until the old gent wanted
to go to lodge one night and then it came
out.


.Gin my boots away, eh ?" inquired the
father; ..lugged your mothers best bonnet
off. Ell? Well, don't think you'll remem-
Der the poor very much after tonight"


And he pounded Christopher Columbus
with pump handle until the boy tainted
away, and even then didn't feel as if he ha
made a thorough job of it.


They fooled this boy once more. He
heard a rich man say that everybody should
'.make hay while the sun shone" So, when
there came a sunny day, he went oIt, took
his fathers scythe, cut down his tulips and
hacked his sister in the heel, and his mother
came out, and led him around by the hair
and bounced him until he almost went into a
decline They couldn't bamboozle that boy
after that. He grew wicked every day OF
his life, and before his eighteenth birthday
arrived, he was hung for murder. He said
he didn't care huckleberry about it and
died withou. making the usual fourth Of
July oration.