smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1867

All journalists consider it duty
to print---this thing once every
year:


Deacon A. while passing through
his lot the other day, stopped down
TO tic his shoe. A pct ram, which
the boys had tanned, among other
things, was taught to regard this
position as extremely offensive.
He instantly pitched into the old
gentleman's rear, and laid him full
length in mud hole. Picking
himself up, the deacon discovered
the cause Of his overthrow standing
in all the calmness and dignity of a
conscious victor. His rage was un-
bounded, and he saluted him with
the following energetic language :


You id old rascal"


At that moment he caught a
glimpse of the benign face of the
minister peeping through the fence
and he instantly added: "IfI may
be allowed the expression"
Year: 1867

"On Thursday night J. G. Leo,
the Republican candidate for Lieu.
tenant Governor, spoke at the west
front Of the State House. In that
speech he was not content with
saying that a negro WaS as good as
a white man. That would be put.
ting it strong enough. but be said
that q negro rds better than a Dem.
ocrdt, and that NEGROES MAKE
BETTER CITIZENS THAN THE
IRISH AND DUTCH"


We clip the above from the Ad.
UertiSer of last week, who says that
the above charge is made against
Gen. Lee, by the people of Colum.
bus, as having occurred in his
speech at that place on the Sth in.
slant. The charge is simply a
faIsehood, though not unworthy
the organ which made it, or those
which gave it credence and public.
ity. 1t is strictly in keeping with
their past policy, that "a lie well
stuck to, is as good as the truth any
time We have a rerbdtim report
of Gen. Ices speech before us and
we defy them to point US to a sin.
gle paragraph similar to the above
either in wording or sentiment
Any one who is acquainted with
the author quoted, would not hcsi-
tatc to pronounce it fabrication,
and scarcely worth the denial
That there may be colored men
who would make better citizens
than some of the white men of the
country, is beyond do ubt, but
that as o class such would be the
case, Gen. Lee, or no other Speaker
in Ohio. has ever attempted to as
sert or maintain.-IiHR Tribune.
Year: 1867

Two grains of alum to a pint OIL
water will clarity water that is not
fit to drink, render it perfectly
Gear and pure, and the taste Of
alum will not be perceived. A
little pulveriled alum thrown into
q pail of water, and allowed TO
stand for fifteen or twenty minutes.
will precipitate all the impurities,
and leave it perfectly clear.
Year: 1867

The patient OF u root and herb
medicine man got the following
prescription from him for a bad
cold: "Putcher ieet in hot wotter,
gotObed and drink II pint of loot. "
The patient brought the enigma to
us in despair. Il can make out the
first part we'll enough he said.
Put your feet in hot water, go to
bed, and drink a pint-that is
plain enough. But what is loot p
We were embarrassed at first, bit
u happy inspiration struck us
Loot, ell double, o-tce-- elder
blow tea. And that turned out to
be the explanation.
Year: 1867

The Mexicans are becoming
temperate people. At a ball lately
given in the city of Durango, one
of the published rules governing
the conduct of the guests was that
mo liquor should be brought into
the ballroom outside of the person
carrying it,
Year: 1867

The result WAS quite up to the highest antici-
pstions of the ladies at any time, and consider
ing the dullness of the first two days voting
was 80 far beyond their hopes that they felt like
having jubilee over it. They express them.
selves under especial obligations to the friends Of
the Rev. Father Terry, Of the Rev. Mr.. Lewis,
and Of the Rev. Mr.. Holmes. for their liberal
vote, but more particularly to Mayor CLANCY.
for the deep interest he manifested in the affair,
fully conscious that without his aid tbs project
must have proved nearly failure. Mr.. Clancy
can count on the unanimous vote Of the Episco-
pal ladies' in favor of his rs7electon to the ofoe
Of Mayor, or to any other office-as soon al they
are endowed with the elective franchise. To all
who have thus literally aided them they count
themselves under obligations toeciprocate when
the proper occasion shall offer. ~


As TO the total receipts and profits of the fair
we are yet unable to give the figures, but are
advised that the addition to the building fund,
a. the result of the enterprize, will foot up in
the neighborhood of $500.
Year: 1867

JOHN SToUT-Well we give it up There
never was such man as John Stout. Now he
has. been, gone and done it again! He has
bought out the entire stock of goods lately offer
ed at auction in Woods building. These goods
were proved, by a late judicial investigation, to
be first-class throughout, and admirably adapted
to this market. Stout proposes to sell them not
only at auction prices, but good deal less--so
low in fact that he feels assured the ladies will
be astonished at his prices. There are among
them some of the finest dress goods ever brought
to Ottawa, and staple and domestic goods equal
to the best in market, at something like half the
ordinary prices
Year: 1867

JOHN FEENY.-Feeny's motto must be excel
sior" Every time we go in there he has big
ger stock and something new and better than you
ever saw before. There is really nothing new
is one Of the first to have it. His judgment in
such things is so superior that you never find
Feeny dealing in humbugs or catch-penny
affairs. .t.
Year: 1867

Have you tried the new tea Purdon's "Short
Arm Chop"at S1.95 per pound. It is sold by
RIALE Bros at their Tea Store west of the Court
House square, where they sell all kinds of good
tea at very low prices.
Year: 1867

To SLEEP. PERcHANcE To DRE.vr,-A
correspondent sends the Mariposa Gazette
the following:


a TREND of mine had curious dream a
few nights since. He does not drink to
excess, but on the night referred to he took
an extra drink, and during the night dream
ed he was dead aud going to hell Arriving
at the gate he found it fastened On knock
ing 1t was swung open and the devil politely
Invited him in. Around him he saw every
variety OF liquors that the most fustidious
palate could desire. The presiding genius
requested him to help himself and be seated
lie desired to know where he was from and
his name. The person told him that his
name was D. and that be was from
Horntas


Devil What is the news from Horn
tas?


D" Not mnch. They have a quarterly
meeting, and are trying to get up revival. y


Devil" Beelzebub. come immediately
there is quarterly meeting at lIornitas."
. Beelzebub- entering in great rage)-
Bring my steed. | must @ at once and
counteract any good influence they my exert.
But hold Who is the preacher, and what
does he preach about?"


d Inc prlnclpal speaker Is the Presld-
Ing Elder. He holdS.tha American Slavery
was a divine institution and should be Upheld
by force of arms


AT the communion service he told the
congregation d" that if all had partaken that
wished to, there was "a colored that
might come forward. he understood there
was one who was trying to live a Christian"


BeeIzebub-" Put up my steed. That
Elder will do as much for me as if | were
there ia person
Year: 1867

Power OF GROWING TREEs.-W Walton Hall
had at one time his Own corn mill, aad when
that ineOnvenient necessity no longer existed
the milestone was LAID by in an orchard and
forgotten. The diameter Of this circular
stone measured 81 feet, while its depth
averaged seveR inches throughout7 its center
hole had diameter Of II inches. By mere
accident some bird or squirrel had dropped
the fruit of the hlbert tree through this hole
on to the earth, and in 1912 the seeding was
seen rising up through that unwonted chan
mel. As its trunk gradually grew through
this aperture aRd increased, its power to raise
the ponderous weight Of stone was speeulated
on by many. Would the flbert tree die in
the attempt? Would it burst the miIlstones
Or would it lift it? In the end, the little
6lbert tree lifted the milestone. and in 1868
wore it like a crinoline about its trunk. and
Mr.. Waterton used to sit upon it under the
branching shade.-English paper
Year: 1867

A strange story is told about an egg mer-
chant at one of the Paris markets. Having
been indisposed, he had kept his warehouse
atahigh temperature, at the recommendation
of his doctor. A morning or two ago he was
awakened by strange noise. and on jump.
ing up, he saw on the floor about a hundred
and fifty chickens, which had been hatched
by the heat, while the floor was strewed with
arr shells
Year: 1867

An Act to authorize the Construction of q Rail-


road through certain Land of the United States


in Kansas.


Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Rep
rescntatives OF the United States of America in
Congress assembled, That the LeavenwOrth City
Railroad Company be, and are hereby, authorized
to construct IL horse railway, with one or two
tracks, through the military reservation from
Fort Lcavenworth to the city of Leavenworth,
Kansas, and take for the accommodation of the
said road, the business thereof, strip of land
over said reservation not exceeding twenty feet
in width: Provided, That the location of said
railroad through said reservation shall be on and
along the west side of the wagon road leading
GOm the said cEty to the said fort, and that the
said company shall erect their own bridges and
crossings, and not be permitted to use those of
the wagon roCd: And provided Also That when
ever said strip Of land shall to be used for
the purposes of said railroad company or the ac
commodatoE of the business thereof, the same
shall revert to the United States that this privi-
legc shall be allowed Us long us the Secretary of
War shall, in his discretion, determine, and no
longer.


Approved, July 90, 1866.
Year: 1867

A CURE FOR CoLD.-Every body
has in his life time suffered with a bad
cold. It does not make man particu-
larlv sick, nor does it make him very
agreeable in his temper. He is not i'll
enough to require the services of his
family physician, nor yet can he attend
to his ordinary avocatiens with any de-
gree Of comfort. He is peevish and
frettul, and if his disposition is natural
" irascible he makes all about him un-
comfortable.


We have, in mercy for those suffering
under this disease, extracted from an old
volume, published in 144o sovereign
remedy for this complaint. No one will
doubt it who will mark its antiquity.
Without positive merit itcould not have
survived the wreck of ages, but so it has,
and to-day we offer it as a specific to all
who are laboring under this annoying
malady. We have often had the use of
the last article mentioned, suggested to
us, but never tested its efficacy, but
since it has so much Of venerable age to
recommend it we shall do so the first
time we take cold. 1t would be we'll to
cut this out and Law it aside until occa-
sion calls for its use:


CURE FOR A COLD, A. D., 1440-


Putte your teete in hot water,


AS high as your thighs.


Wrappe your head up in flannel


AS low as your eyes;


Take a quart Of rumm'd gruelle.


When in bedde, as dose,


With a number four dippe


Well tailow your nose.
Year: 1867

Some Of the republican papers begin to
complain of Street Commissioner Mclean,
because he does not at once remove
one of the Big Indians Of Tammany, who
holds the Office of Deputy, out Of the
way. We have no particular liking for The
Big Indians generally nor for this one in par
ticular; but we are not ignorant Of the
fact that they know how to run the
machinery Of city department very
well and make pretty efficient oficeN. apart
from their jobbing propensitics and political
iniquities. We are very willing that the new
Street Commissioner and the new Comptroller
shall retain the old hands in oface, always
keeping sharp eye upon them, until they
have themselves become familiar with the
working and the duties Of their departments.
When they have gathered all the information
necessary from the old employees and deputies
they are welcome to throw them aside, like
sucked oranges. But we are not 30 unrcasona-
BILE as 70 require the new heads Of the depart
meuts, who are anxious to do their duty and
70 do Il well, to cast OF in moment all those
who are familiar with the business and to run
their ships without rudder or compass
Year: 1867

A shoddy evening contemporary pretends to
put ms right In our views OF the effects Of .
forced resumption Of specie payments We
maintain that the only people to be benefited
by resumption are the bondholders and that
their property would be enhanced in value
over thirty per cent This blundering fnan-
cier argues that it would make no difference to
the bondholdsrs, because they shave always
received their interest and the principal Of
their bonds when due, in coin.r Now, there II
only q little more than half the national debt
that Is, one thousand three hundred and thirty
thrce milllons-which hears a coin interest.
The property Of the rest, therefore, would be
vastly increased. But the argument, If 1t Is
worthy to be called so, is not sound in respcct
to the holders Of bonds bearing coin interest
not being benefited. Why, the merest tyro In
financial matters knows that the Rve-twentics
which are now selling at . hundred and five to
q hundred and SIX would be worth In effect at
the present. currency standard thirty per cent
more. Property Of every description, wages Of
Year: 1867

There appears from our Washington CORE
spondcnce TO be considerable trouble and furry
in the radical camp on The subject Of the i'm
peachment Of the President Some desire his
impeachment and trial at once, 50 that the OBJ
struction in the way Of reconstruction and q
final settlement Of our national troubles may
be removed as speedily as possible. Others
are hesitating and doubling and are not will
ing to 60 on with the Impeachment unless they
can be sure Of retaining their own man in the
oflco until The next regular Presidential cleo
tion. They are unwilling that General Grant
should be made President and are afraid 10
Year: 1867

labor and everything else would Alli but the
bondholder, whose bonds to-day would realize
only hundred thousand dollars in coin, would
suddenly find himselfworth over thirty thousand
dollars more, because he would be able to
realize that much additional 10 the market.
One might suppose that this is so plain mat
ter, such simple fact, that schoolboy
could understand it; but We question II our
obtuse and shoddy contemporary can.
Year: 1867

The Recent southern Panacea fer Sale Cheap.


A great fuss is being made over the pre-
tended premature disclosure Of the recent
splendid Southern panacea, which wac Intended
TO be kept profound secret until tho time
Al ould arrive when lis virtues and wonderful
Year: 1867

We feel it duty incumbent on US to call up
on every citizen who values the right of suffrage,
and who desires the privilege of voice in the
selection of those who may hereafter be called
upon to administer the laws, State and county,
to no longer delay the enrolment of their names
upon the GREAT REGISTER of the county. On
ly little over one-third of the voters of this
county have yet performed that duty. Procras-
tination in this matter indicates a triaing esti-
mate of the value of the elective franchise. Let
naturalzed citizens remember that they have on
ly to produce the evidence of citizenship, and
that there is expense attending the act Of regis
tration Let prominent men in the several pre-
cincts urge upon their neighbors the necessity
of performing this duty without delay.
Year: 1867

Hold not thy head too high, my friend,
For surely thou must know
The heaviest heads of wheat will bend
The stalks on which they grow;
And everywhere the lovelicst flowers
Bloom nearest to the ground
The sweetest songsters Of the wood
In lowly shades abound.
Hold not thy head too high, my friend,
Though rich In lands and gold,
The throngs that on thy steps attend
Speak not the thoughts they hold;
Their true respect is only paid


Where worthiness they see
Those deferential bows are made
Unto thy wealth. not thee.
Hold not thy head too high, my friend,
Whate'er thy station here;
For brains will triumph in the end
Where then will be thy spherel
We envy not thy lordly tread,


Nor at thy lot repine-
Who could not. hold erect head
That weighs so light as thinei
HAT FORK, March, 1867.
Year: 1867

THE Butte Record takes the Red Bluff Sentinel
to task for saying that General Bidwell is iden-
tilted with the interests of the State; he has
grown up with it the history of the State is his
history the interests of the State are his inter-
ests." 1t is loud talk for Democratic organ.
Year: 1867

ALWAYS GET THE BEsr.-Especially
in getting Saleratus the best costs but
.ri6e for years supply. and that the
good costs bu. triHs more than the poor
The best goes farther than the poor. and
much more healthy. We can recon.
mend the Best Chemical Saleratus to b.
the hest.
Year: 1867

Mr.. Horace Greeley, who, though
generally supposed friend of woman
suffrage, recently brought forward a
report adverse to the adoption of that
measure in the constitutional convention
of New York, has written letter to a
friend in England on the subject, from
which the following is an extract:


The keynote of my political creed is
the axiom that governments derive
their just powers from the consent of the
governed" " hold that this consent may
be, and often is, tacitly given, but that
it is none the less conclusive on that
account. sought information from
different quarters on the main points,
and all practically agreed in the con-
clusion that the women Of our State do
not choose to vote. Individuals do; at
least three.fourths OF that sex do not.
| accepted this choice as decisive, just
as | reported in favor of enfran-
chising the blacks, because they do
wish to vote The few may not, but the
many do; and / think they should control
the decision. We shall have very hard
work to ratiiy any constitution that en-
franchises the blacks. Had We extended
the suffrage to women we should have
been voted down by hundreds of thou
Sands. 1t seems but fair to add that
female suffrage seemsto me to involve
the overthrow Of the family relation as it
has hitherto existed If the time shall
ever come when Mr.. Biggs shall be an
active member of the Democratic, and
Mrs. Biggs of the Republican county
committee, in one of our excited politi-
cal contests, suspect that it will soon
take two houses to hold them.
Year: 1867

Joe H is one of the characters in
lafayette township Recently he was
summoned to act as juryman in case
being tried before a magistrate he
proposed to the parties to the suit that
they allow him alone 10 act as the jury
and decide the case. They agreed, the
evidence was heard, and Joe retired to
make up his verdict. He soon procured
a bottle of whisky, some crackers, box
of sardines, and can Of c've oysters
from the defendant in the suit. lie
helped himself to as much as he wanted
of the provisions and liquor, and quietly
laid down in the room in which he was
locked and took a nap He awoke to-
ward evening, and reported that the
"jury have not agreed upon verdict,


and sent the constable after the plaintiff,
demanded more oysters, crackers, sar-
dimes, and whisky With these he spent
the night, and had a good supply over
for breakfast. He was again interro-
gated as to his verdict, and again an.
swered "the jury have not agreed.
Toward noon, getting very thirsty, aHd
unable to get further supplies, Joe called
in the constable, had himself conducted
before the Squire, reported that it was
impossible for the jury to agree, and was
discharged. he says that where the
eating and drinking is as good as in this
case, he don't mind sitting on a Jury. -
Neo albany Ledger, 5th.
Year: 1867

1d~ A lady who has great horror of
tobacco got into the New Haven cars the
other day, and inquired of a male neigh
bor: "Do you chew tobacco, sir p mo,
ma am, don't" was the reply, but
can get you a chaw if you want one"
Year: 1867

I6T A wide-awake fire company in
West Newton, Mass, turned out the other
night to put out the aurora borealis, but
it had got under such headway that they
returned without action. Nevertheless,
their intentions we're honorable.
Year: 1867

BGy The Nashville Banner in notes
on the present Legislature, thinks the
presiding officers of the Senate and
House are the best men for the purpose
that could have been picked from the
two hodies
Year: 1867

Fdr The London Cosmopolitan says
" Every bereaved widow Of the North
whose husband fell in lighting FOR the
Union, might just as well seek iorecover
damages Of the Sheffield manuiactu-
rers who sold the rebel gun or sword that
slew him, as for the Government Of the
United States to attempt TO recover Of
English blockade runners the fortunes
made in supplying the South with con
traband goods
Year: 1867

Both branches Of the Legislature agreed on
Wednesday to the report Of the conference
committee on the bill providing for q conven-
tion to revise the State constitution, and the
bill was passed. II provides for the election
Of delegates by Senatorial districts, adopting
also the recommendation in the Governors
message, that thirty-two delegates at large
should be chosen-sixteen to represent the
republican party and sixteen the democratic
party. The election Is fixed for the Esd of
April, and will be held according to the suf.
frage system Of the present constitution. In
addition TO the thIrty-two delegates at large
each Of the Senatorial districts will elect four
delegates for itself; so that the whole number
Of the delegates to the Convention will be one
Year: 1867

lures new OF the Western World; for our ah
has the magic to change the depression and
despair Of the victims OF the European systems
to the exhilaration. energy and exuberant spirits
of the freeman. Emigration is the grand remedy
for all the troubles Of Europe.
Year: 1867

The Kingdom Of Canada and the Fenians In


In the House Of Representatives on We'd
nesday last Mr. Banks, from tho Committee on
Foreign Affairs, reported joint resolution de-
claring that the people of the United States
cannot regard the proposed confederation Of
the provinces on the northern frontier Of this
country without extreme solicitude; that con-
federation of States on the continent extending
from ocean to ocean, established without con-
sulting the people of the provinces and
founded on the monarchical principle, cannot
be considered otherwise than as in contraven-
ton of the traditions and constantly declared
principles Of this government, endangering the
most important interests and tending to In
crease and perpetuate the embarrassments
already existing between the two governments
The resolution was passed without division.
This clear and decided expression Of sentiment
in Congress Is no doubt faithful echo Of the
will Of the people Of the United States The
British government before proceeding further
in this matter of the confederation, would do
well, perhaps, 10 confer with our government, in
order to prevent future complications involv-
ing the amicable relations Of the two govern
ments.


Mr.. Banks also reported on the same day
and from the same committee another resolu-
ton, declaring that the House extends Its
sympathy 10 the people Of Ireland and Gambia
in all their just efforts to maintain the independ-
ence Of States, to elevate the people and to
extend and perpetuate the principles Of lib
erty. Although this is rather cloudy resolu-
ton, saying as little as conveniently can be
said on the subject Il is significant enough,
especially when we remember that. there are
two hundred and fifty thousand fighting Fenians
within striking distance of the Canadian bor-
der. Surely, then, it would not be unwise for