smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1878

A project is on foot to give the grand
est banquet of modern times in Chi sago
in August, 1880. It is long way ahead,
but not too soon to begin for an affair of
the ms gnitude of the entertainment in
question. 1t is to be upon the occasion
of the triennial meeting of the Knights
Templar of America, which is to take
place here at that time. At the banquet
will be seated 10, 900 people, who are to
be served in all the elegance of the most
sumptuous feasts ever spread. The
meal is expected to cost something over
$50, 900, and no profits to the caterer.
The plan is to spread tables capable
of seating 100 each of the Knights and
their friends upon the lake front, if the
weather is favorable, and if not, in the
Exposition building, which will have 4
temporary annex" IN order to make its
capacity equal to the occasion. The
walters Will number LOCO, and be di-
vided into centuries and tens. Each
100 Will be under a centurion, and each
gang of ten will be directed by a head
waiter. Each table will In this way be
served by ten walters as promptly as
though it composed the entire banquet.
Most of the food is to be put upon the
tables in domestic style, every tenth
man, for example, carving for his Neigh
bors. Immense ranges will be built to
cook the food, which is to be first class
in every particular. Owing to the season
of the year, fruits and ices will be a
prominent feature of the repast, but it
is said that 1000 fowls will lose their
heads to satisfy the cravings of the
knightly appetite for roasts, salads, ETC.
-CHicHOO Inter Ocean,
Year: 1878

CRUMBS FROM THE BREAKFAST TABLE.


The boy who grows up with an over
whelming fear of dogs viii not develop
into a book-agent in after life.


1t is ten times easier for a man to
thread a needle than for a young lady
with high heels and false hair to become
e student in Quaker college.


O'Leary, the walkist, used to be
collector IN Chicago, and that's bow he
happened to find out his legs would do
to bet on.


When Lycurgus ordered the Spartan
mint to make a 3-cent piece as big and
heavy as grindstone, he was determined
to keep County TreasureIs from yearn-
ing to travel abroad.


A woman will face a frowning werlu
and cling to the man she loves through
he most bitter adversely, but she
wouldn't wear hat three weeks behind
the style to save the Government.


There may be an eternal fitness in
all things, but it's mighty hard for an I'M
shackled mind to make out why soap
fat man should have voice as plaintive
and full of woe as a camp-mceting ex
horter.


Did you ever read patent-medicine
advertisement without thinking it would
have made Solomon feel as though he
hadn't got much farther along than the
halfway house on the road to wisdom


Whenever a man begs a chew of the
weed, he is doing little something tow
ard keeping the wolf from somebody's
door. The tobacco interest in this
country gives employment to more than
a million persons.


81 don't lose sleep worrying about
the silver question" said Griggins; " for
it makes mighty little difference to me
whether 1 have to pay my debts in rock
salt or cabbage-leaves. The tough end
of the problem is the paying part
Year: 1878

THE SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY
PREDICTS THE NOMINATION OF THE Ex-
PRESIDENT FOR PRESIDENTIAL THIRD


TERN.


LONG BRANCH, N j., July IL, 1873
The day at the Branch was rather
gloomy, as 1t rained from noon unit
dusk and the temperature was sufficiently
cold to bring out overcoats and wraps
S. cretary Sherman and party left the
West End this morning and took the cars
Sandy Hook, where they went on board
a steamer and were taken to the Fishing
Backs. The wether was not very pleasant
but the party did not mind the rain ano
devoted their attention to the denizens o!
the deep.
Year: 1878

The handkerchief and glove firtations
have done good service in their way, bu
hey are only ior the use of lovers anc
Young people. For some time there hal
been great want Of something of the
kind to fit tramps. A fertile brained
genius in this town has got up boot fir
a1on, intended especially for the use Of
hose who are pestered by tramps. Itruna
something like this:


One step forward-Tramps beware.


Two steps torward-Cut your story
short. .s .....s ......ar. ... T..


Right foot lifted few inches from the
sround-I have nothing for you.


Right foot ex ended backward Get out
side the gate,


Right foot brought swiftly forward and
planted firmly under the coat tail of tramp
Leave the premises instantly, and advise
all friends to steer clear of this house.


1t may be we'll to state that this firtae
lion cannot be carried out with success un,
less the tramp is mach smaller than you
are In following The directions above
given it should be horne in mind that this
paper is in no way responsible for any
damages.
Year: 1878

A man who has been 10 Pekln, and
done some ''peckin" to good advantage
gives this amusing description of u
fowl.peddler among the curious street
sights and street-charactcrs OF that
northern "celestial' metropolis:


And then there was the goose
rancher-a fellow who drove n hundred
geese before him about the city and
tired TO sell them. He lad pole ten
feet long, with a crook in the end of it
andsoccasionly a goose would branch
out from the flock and make a lively
break around the corner with wings
half lifted and neck stretched to the
utmost. Did the gose.merchant get
excited ? No. He took his pole and
reached after that goose with unspeak-
able sang-froid, took a hitch round
his neck, "yanked" him back to his
place in the flock without an effort.
He steered his geese with that stick
as another man wonld steer a yawl.


A few hours afterwards we saw him
sitting on stone at the corner, in the
midst of the turmoil, sound asleep in
the sun, with his geese squattlng
around him Or dodging out of the way
of asses and men. We came by again
within few hours, and he was tax
ing account of stock to see whether
any Of his flock mad strayed or been
stolen. The way he did it was unique
He put his stick within six or eight
inches of stone wall, and made the
geese march in single file between it
and the wall. He counted them as
they went by. There was no dodglng
that arrangement.
Year: 1878

None Of the books Of etiquette
that We have yet read give prescrip'
tions which will cure the tendency
which mast Of Us have TO bore other
people, The reason Is that none OF
US suspects he Il or can DO bore
under any possible combination Of cir,
camstanceS The supposllion IL 30
wild and absurd an to DO discounte-
nanced At once, And yet so often arc
We bored by other people that It
would only be reasonable for US To
conclude that Nc too might sometimes
place ourselves m the same uneLviablc
light, To know when TO come and
wuvn ~ ~, wee" - -
when 10 speak, what 10 say and how
to say II, to be properly aware how to
express those thousand little tones and
acts which cndear one, II is difficult TO
explain precisely how, Is either nat
ural gi:t or an art obtainable after
long years Of training, Yet he who
Is not master Of these things will run
the risk sometime or other Of being
considered a nuisance. We all ought
to learn how not to bore. We owe il
to our Leighbors as well a. to our
selves, It's n knowledge we exact
from them. II they do not bctray it
we feel personally aggrievcd and are
apt to consider them for tine, our
enemies.


One certain way Of not boring is
never to Tgivc people too much Of our
company, This is n rule difficult to
observe. There are times when we
are too ready to believe that our
friends want us more than they really
do. We take their protestatiors lite
rally, and when they say they conld
live with us forever and a day, we
positively give them the day, This
is a great mistake. Probably six
hours of the day would have been
quite sufficient But we are unwll
ing to. believe that our destinations
are so weak as not to stand 4 longer
tlial, and yielding to that veal preju-
dice in our own favor wo become un-
mitigable bores. 1t would be we'll if
"onld hold the hand. glass up to
our fai'ings in this respect ana sec our
selves rs we really are.
Year: 1878

A queer story comes from the West,
whence so many queer stories come
The wife of q merchant in San Fran
cisco, finding, some six months ago,
that the climate of the Pacific coast
did not agree with her, as her lungs
was rather delicate, decided to visit
her relatives in Chicago, to see if the
change would not benefit her. She
went overland, her husband remaining
in California because he was unable
to leave his business. For two months
after her arrival she wrote regularly
and ahectionate]y, declaring that her
health was steadily improving, and
that she hoped to rejoin him very
soon. For the next three months her
letters steadily decreased, both in tre-
quency and fervor, becoming very
rare and very cold toward the close of
the period. He complained of the
alterations in her feelings, which she
denied IN words and proved in be-
havor. In two or three weeks more
he set out for Chicago to ascertain the
cause of her revolution, and reaching
his destination went to the hotel
where she was staying, went directly
to her room, entered and found her
talking pleasantly to a man who ap
peared to be quite at home, but whom
he had never seen before. The hus,
band began upbraiding his wife, when
the stranger demanded 'By what
right do you thus address this lady p
"By the right of a husband was the
response. THAT right is reserved for
me, sir; am her husband "You?
for how long, pray?" "For three
months "And / for six years.
Both spoke the truth. The second
marriage, as may be inferred, had
been made after an irregular divorce !;
the woman having discovered that she
liked thes man present in Chicago
much better than she liked the man
absent in San Francisco. The two
lleges talked revolvers, death and
graveyards for awhile; but after
growing cool resolved not to make
fools of themselves. The woman
frankly owned that she preferred No.
2, whereupon No. l expressed salts
faction; sensibly left her to her new
found felicity; bought a ticket for
home; and departed on the morning
train. leaving a note for her saying
that he would trouble her no further
and do his utmost never 10 meet her
again.
Year: 1878

Tho remains OF the woman found dead on Saturday
in the cellar Of the tenement house No. 3l3 Rivngton
street were LAID out Tor inspection at tho Morguc
yesterday in tho hope that some might be able
to identity them. No one had called TO them ny
TO lso hour last night, and Is moro thnn likely that
the unfortunate womans name will never be DIS
covered. A post examination OF the body
will DO made to-day TO determine the cause OF her
DEATH which thero Is every reason 10 believe was
due TO exhaustion.
Year: 1878

The announcement in the In


teltgencer Of this morning thai
the resolutions adopted unani-
mously by the meeting last eve.
! ming were offered by the Chair
man of the Republican Commit.
tee," was gratuitous, unauthor-
lied, and calculated to create an
impression Of a partisan charac-
ter which the facts did not war
rant. The invitation to Judge
Jacobs was Joined in, without
party distinction, by prominent
members of both political par
ties; the object of. the meeting
was above all party considera-
tions, and the presiding officer
was in no wise identified with
either Of the political parties in
the practical issues in the pend
ing election, and in common with
Judge Jacobs, protests against
an lntimation that it had any
party indication or bearing, in
dependent of the positions which
either party might assume in
he contest Nothing, however,
was more certain than that the
meeting unanimously condemned
that portion Of the platform OF
theDem0cratic convention which
proposed an unconditional sur
render of the Territory to the
monopolists. Between the Re-
publicans and the Democrats
represented in the meeting there
was no conflict on that question,
and the Republicans had no
more right to claim the meeting
than had the Democrats.
Year: 1878

CLEVELAND takes the lead among all
our cities in her public school system, in
the opinion of Sir Charles Reed, President
of the Board of Education of the City Of
London, and Chairman iof the Judges Of
Education in the Centennial Exposition.
And now the Cleveland Board of 'Educa-
tion has resolved to nominate six ladies
and six gentlemen, who shall not in any
way be connected with the schools, but who
are invited to visit, examine and report
their condition. A system that courts
criticism in this way Is either on the high
road to perfection, or very anxious to be
put there.
Year: 1878

We ARE daily getting nearer and nearer
old time prices. Fresh meats and fish
maintain pretty nearly their war figures,
but almost every other variety of food for
man may be had at reasonable rates.
Clothing Of all kind is cheaper than ever
before, as are dry goods generally. Boots
and shoes are sold at marvellous low rates.
Coal and rent are about as far down in the
scale as they are likely to get.
Year: 1878

was the moment when my father and mother
heard Of my greatv victory" Happiest day Of your
life would be the day when your Christian parents


heard that you had conquered your evil habits.
OIL despise not parental anxiety. Do you know
that the time will soon come when you viii have
neither father nor mOther2 You will 20 about
the place where they once watched you, to find
them gone from the house, gone from the fields,
gone from the neighborhood. Cry as loud for for.
glveness as you will over the mound in the
oburch-yard, and they will not answer. Oh on
then you will take out the white lock that was cut
from your mothers wrinkled brow, just before
they buried her, you will take hold Of the cane
that your father walked with, and think and
think, and wish you had done just as they wanted
you to, and would give all the world If you had
never thrust pang through their dear old hearts.
GOD pity the young man that brings disgrace on
his fathers name. God pity the young man who
has broken his mothers heart. Better that he had
never been born. Better that in the first hour of
his life, instead Of being laid against the warm
maternal BOSOM he had been coffned and sepul-
chered. There is no balm powerful enough to
soothe the anguish Of one who has brought his
parents to sorrowful death, and who goes among
the tombs Of the dismal cemetery Wringing his
hands, crying, "Mother motherl"
Year: 1878




There is no greater fallacy than the
opinion of many, particularly the young
and strong and vigorous, that winter
especially a sharp, frosty one, with
plenty OF snow-is the most healthy
season of the year. Very few persons
seem to realize the fact that cold is the
condition of death, and that in both
warm and cold climates it is our uncon-
scious effort to maintain heat at tenn
perature of ninety-eight degrees, that
wears us out. 70 this temperature,
called 'blood-heat,' every cubic inch of
oxygen that serves to vitalize our blood
must be raised by our own bodily heat,
or life ceases Since in cold weather the
maintenance of sufficiently elevated
bodily temperature becomes very often
difficulty too great for our strength,
the advent of severe winter is really
more to be dreaded than a visitation of
a pestilence. The saying, Heat is
life-cold is death, has striking illus
tration and confirmation in the reports
now regularly submitted by DR.. Russell
to the Glasgow Sanitary Committee.
The death rate rises and falls with the
regularity of the thermometer. So
many degrees less heat, so many more
deaths, and vice versa. In one of his
fortnightly reports, DR.. Russell says:
The death rate in the first week of the
fortnight was twenty-one, and in the
second week twenty-five The mean
temperature in the former week was
40.S degrees Fahrenheit, in the latter
39.5 degrees" He attributes the low
rate of the first week to the high mean
temperature Of the preceding fortnight,
which was 4703 degrees, and adds:
This law is good illustration of law
which we frequently observe in these
reports of temperature and death rates
that a week of low temperature pro-
duces rise in mortality the week fol-
lowing" In our climate it would prob
ably be difficult to find more fire.
quent cause of serious ailments
than taking cold. Whatever weak
place we have, whatever constitutional
disorder we be subject to, cold will
surely discover. We take colds be-
cause our vitality is too low to ward off
the effects of the reduced temperature
around us. AS a matter of first import
ance, then, to resist cold and the var
ious arrangements of the system conse-
quent, it is necessary by proper nutri-
tion to maintain our animal heat; sec
ond, to retain this heat by sufficient
quantity of clothing; third to regulate
with care the temperature of the air we
breathe. Contrary to the opinion cur
rent among lovers of cold weather,
fire in bedroom in the winter is
cheaper and better than doctors bill;
for, owing to our inactive condition dur
ing sleep, the circulation of the vital
izing blood is both slow and imperfect,
and hence the danger of taking cold by
breathing cold air is greatly increased.
A cold is the beginning of everything
that is bad. If any one, concious of
having caught one, feels cold chills
creeping up the back, let him apply a
mustard plaster to the bottom of the
spine and the lower part of the back at
once, and by so doing he may avert
dangerous illness before it is too late
and medical advice can be procured. 1t
should never be forgotten that cheat is
life-cold is death
Year: 1878

a ''club," but it was the death of his
brother Abel.


While there were so many things that
the boy Adam missed think not that
his solitary life was without it's compen-
sation. There was no other boy to steal
his marbles, or hide his top. or jeer at
him because he had to wear his big bro
theirs cast-off clothes, or holler across
the street that he had "a letter in the
postoffice," or fix bent pin for him to
sit down on, or make faces at his sister,
or spell him down, or steal his dinner,
or tell on him when he had been in mis-
chief, or beat him out of his sweetheart.
Adam escaped these and thousand
other annoyances that boys subject each
other to. He hadn't any brothers and
sisters to tease and worry him, and with
whom he was compelled to divide his
playthings and nice things to eat that
might come that way He could leave
piece of sweet-cake lying around any
where, knowing that none of the rest Of
the children would touch it; and at
night, on retiring, he could stick his
gum" on to the headboard, confident
that it would rest undisturbed until
morning


Whatever trouble and annoyances his
matrimonial life may have brought him,
we find kind Of satisfaction in reflect
ing that Adam boyhood was exception
ally free from care, and on that account
we are bound to conclude that his life
was not an entire failure,
Year: 1878

Four men in India, partners in bust
ness, bought several bales of Indian
rugs, and also some cotton bales. That


the rats might not destroy the cotton,
they purchased a cat. They agreed
that each of the four should own par
ticular leg of the cat; and each adorned
with beads and other ornaments the leg
thus appointed to him. The cat, by an
accident, injured one of it's legs. The
owner of that member wound around it
a rag soaked in oil. The cat, going too
near the heat, set this rag on fire, and,
being in great pain, rushed in among the
cotton bales where she was accustomed
to hunt rats. The cotton and rugs
thereby took fire and they were burned
up-a total loss. The three other par
ties brought suit to recover the value
Of the goods destroyed against the fourth
Year: 1878

partner, who owned this particular leg
of the cat The Judge examined the
case, and decided thus:


"The leg that had the oiled rag on
it was hurt; the cat could not use that
leg; in fact, it held up that leg, and ran
with the other three legs. The three
unhurt legs, therefore, carried the fire to
the cotton, and are alone culpable. The
injured leg is not to be blamed The
three partners who owned the three legs
with which the cat ran to the cotton will
pay the whole value of the bales to the
partner who was the proprietor of the
injured leg.
Year: 1878

How Napoleon Escaped Assassination


During the campaign in 1909 Napoleon
arrived at Brun, in Moravia. He had
to pass the old gate. A steep ascent
lends to this gate, contiguous to which
are several houses one of these was oc-
cupied by a mechanic as a dwelling and
workshop. Among his iourneymen was
native OF Tyrol, an Industrious and
worthy fellow, but, like all his country
men, furious enemy to Napoleon and
the French. On the morning when the
emperor rode to the Speilburg the Tyro-
iese was missing. His comrades were
just talking of him when the apprentice
entered the shop and mentioned that he
had seen the Tyrolese at the window of
the loft. This awakened curiosity, and
the master went up to the loft to see
what he was doing; he found him kneel-
ing at the window, with a gun ready
cooked lying before him, and his eyes
fixed on the road by which Napoleon was
to pass. AS the house stool on the
declivity of the hill, consequently lower
than the gate, the emperor on horse
back, at the moment when he cane up
to the gate, would have been on a line
with the window where his humble foe
had posted himself and the distance
would have been SO small that scarcely
any marksman, and least of all Tyro-
lese, could have missed his aim. A few
moments after the master had disarmed
his workman Napoleon passed the gate
and rode down the hill, His destiny
was not yet accomplished,
Year: 1878

Iut Enu.
The course Of the weariest river
Ends in the great gray sea
The acorn, forever and ever.
Strives upward to the tree.
The rainbow, the sky adorning,
Shines promise through the storm:
The glimmer Of the coming morning
Through midnight gloom will form,
By time all knots are riven,
Complex although they be,
And peace will at last be given,
Dear, both TO you and to me.
Then, though the path may be dreary,
Look onward to the goal
Though the heart and the head be weary,
Let faith inspire the soul,
Seek the right, though the wrong be


tempting;


Speak truth at any cost
Vain is all weak exempting
When once the gem is lost.
Let strong hand and keen eye be ready
For plain and ambushed foes;
Ihonght earnest and fancy steady
Bear best unto the close.
The heavy clouds may be raining,
But with evening comes the light;
Through the dark are low winds COM


planning,


Yet the sunrise gilds the height;
And love has his hidden treasure
For the patient and the pure;
And time gives its fullest measure
To the workers who endure;
And the word that no law has shaken
Has the future pledge supplied;
For we know that when we "awaken"
We shall be " satisfied"


-TTnsIeys Magazine.
Year: 1878

The world is wide but its want is wider,
No least endeavor shall fruitless be;
Though the sky is full Of the moons soft glory
Each smaller star shines from sea to sea.
The world is wide, and the work is waiting,
We can only call one day our own
Oh, slumber not, for the day is breaking
For an hours loss you can never atone.
The world ia wide, and the violet groweth
Side by side with the queenly rose
One flleth the air with subtle fragrance,
In silence and shadow the other grows,
Yet who shall tell what the angels know not
Which Of the two shall fairer be,
When the flowers are gathered from earthly


gardens,


To bloom in the light of eternity.
The world is wide, and the people in it,


Each has q work to find and do;
The sunshine dieth, the dark night lieth.
Haste while the daylight waits on you