Year: 1874

like maniac at the footboard. She


came to his rescue at once, brought the


ends around his swelling throat, nipped


up the flesh to a degree that made him


howl, and succeeded finally in not only
getting the button into the hole, but
also good half-inch of skin with it.
She then threw him collar and
whisked out of the room again. IT


very soon transpired that Mr.. Cob
leighs troubles were only just com
menced, He looked at the collar mood
| lily for moment or two and then picked
it mp and essayed to put it on. The
| masculine reader is already aware that
an infamous mode of making shirt but
tons, lately introduced, is without any
| shoulder at all. 1t was hard enough in
all conscience to fasten paper collar
with the old fashioned button to cling
to, but now no man with spark of
emotion in his composition can possibly
hitch to the pearl waters in use without
becoming visibly and most unpleasantly
affected by the operation. Mr.. Cob
leigh has several sparks of emotion in
his nature-Mrs. Cobleigh says he is a
bunch of them. AS there was no posi-
bility of getting a finger under the band
at the back he could use but one
hand, and he applied that with COM
mendable industry. His head was bent
way forward now, and his eyes pro-
truded to such degree that the tears
which were forced from them dropped
clear of his cheeks. He could almost
hear his spine crack from the pressure
he was subjected to, and his arms at
the shoulders appeared to be his
worst enemies. Ever and anon cry of
mingled rage and disappointment was
wrung from him, supplemented by an
explosive phrase which it is not neces-
sary to print. 1t was on the explosion
of one of these phrases that Mrs. Cob


leigh again took the alarm, and came
beaming in to learn the trouble. With
the instinct of affection, she started to
his relief, but her irate husband no
sooner saw her, than he flew into an
unaccountable passion, and declared
with much heat that "when he wanted
her he'd send for her, and he'd put on
that collar himself or he'd bust every
shirt i'll the house" And he went at it
with renewed energy, and every time he
thought he had it his thumb would slip
by or over the top, and every time his
thumb slipped he would slap 1t under his
other arm, and draw up his body in the
greatest pain, and grind out from be-
tween his clenched teeth what the af-
frighted lady understood to be, Gaw-r-
III T. dah-r-rr it," Suddenly and most
unexpectedly, the back wafer took
hold, but not until he had seggested to
his wife that hereafter she had better
sew the button on the inside of the
band and put patch over it, and then
perhaps he could get his collar on with
i'll a fortnight But his success ended
here. In vain he piled his blistered and
aching thumb to the button in front in
vain he spread out his legs and drew
them up again and ground his teeth in
vain he pranced around, and smote his
fists, and chewed his tongue-the ends
would not fasten and finally becoming
exhausted, and putting like porpoise,
he tore the collar from it's fastening,
and grinding it beneath his heel, swore
most vehemently that no woman would
put collar ON him without first passing
over his dead body. Upon that he
strobe moodily into the garret, while
Mrs. Cobleigh with an aching heart,
and feeling untitled for worship, seated
herself at the front window and looked
through the blinds at the neighbors
going to church.-Dandury News.