Year: 1879

! donor in affectionate remembrance. OF ginger
beer we have never been able to speak en-
Enthusiastically, but may say that our children
Chose that were spared, enjoyed it greatly.
while the empty bottle added not little to
the effective force of our office armory.


4 good subject for martyrdom is the angu-
lar female Of uncertain age, who approaches
the newspaper man with desire to assist him
in his labors. She tiits into the editorial
presence as though she had come through
crevice in the WALL and in plantivc voice
inquiries Don't you want something to help
you fill up with" And she fishes up from
the recesscs of a deep pocket scrap of an old
newspaper copy of Noah's lIcrald-bcing
an account of the introduction Of new com
bustible, furnishing heat out of nothing
sort Of fat heat, red fame but to cost Harv
red. The idea had been exploded over and
over again. but the old lady Thought it would
do to FIJI up with" She had in her attic any
quantity of old papers sent her some twenty
years ago, by Il cousin in California. and the
next rainy day she would have an overhaul
ing, and would cut out any quantity of aeics,
and certainly We were welcome TO them.


Some people are seized with the idea that
a newspaper man Is sort Of threshng ma
chine, ready and willing to fail everybody
that happens To cross their track and whom
they lack the courage to tackle themselves
They have a ncighbor with whom they have
had what Judge Weston used to call "a little
unpleasant controversy" and high board
fence between the two, attcsts to that fact.
'licre, MIR. Editor, please insert this item.
and obligc IL subscriber: The ranktankcrous
old cudmudgcon. whose pestilential influence
poisons the air of Broad ST., has of late been
engaged in questionable transactions for the
purpose of adding to his i'll gotten gains


.Hn1dsi is u the heart of this pestferous old
cnss, but the miserable blathcrskite lacks the
courage to execute it, Put that in as cdito-
rial and don't let any one know who wrote it,"
Another man who has at heart the moral wei
fare of the place thinks it about time the
press spoke out in thunder tones against the
terrible traffic in strong drink lie knew the
editors time was well taken up, and to save
trouble he had prepared Il local which he
would like to have inserted ''The chief of
police of this place is in league with the devil
and all the fircry imps of hell He has been
bought up. soul and body, by the rumsellers
and rum-guzzlcrs they have brihed him with
money, and threaten to turn him from office
if he makes a seizure" Another of those
ready helps which every newspaper man finds
lying round loose, brings in this item: "The
miserable follower of satan who abused the
fatherless STRIPPING on the street, yesterday.
deserves a thousand deaths and if Henry
Ward Beecher hadn't knocked hell into ten
thousand retorts for match factories, we
would like TO obligo the follow to make that
place his summer resort"


Then there is the enraged individual who
has learned profanity from the absence Of
sidewalk and street lamp on his street. lie
lmplorcs lis to Just lash the city government"
until these modern convencnccs are prov ded


An esteemed patron, who hel.eve. The press
to bp mighty engine tor good rushes into
your office, trothing at the mouth like an en-
ragged bull. During the silent watches of the
night while the master of the house was
sleeping, the enemy sowcd tares the inta-
nous cows broke into his enclosure and
tramplcd upon his beautiful lawn. The ONLY
thing that will prevent the man from going
stark mad, Is the publication in next morn-
ings paper OF the entire ordnance prohibit
Ing cows from running AZ large We knew an
editor who had this matter on the brain: he
was no c0p-ard, but COW never crossed his
path but he instinctiyely wanted to pound her


He became famous ''the COW editor" and
slip from his paper might not improperly be
termed a cor-sip. Another mans slumbers
are disturbed b., the loud footing of the midi
night locomotive. lie doesn't rush to the
druggists for sleeping powder, but he wants
us ''to bfor mp the railroad company" An
other is incensed because the freight train
sometimes obstructs the sidewalk; 'Jion ~
the company" Another is mad because the
mischievous boys steal his apples and grapes


'bior mp everybody who darcs to have a bow
in the family" Farmers come into market
/ hitch their horses by the sidewalks. and pc
desrians' costumes are splashcd with muddy
water; ''biow up the farmers" \ public lee
turcr fails in his efforts to give sati>facton


displcascd auditor ''would like to know
what newspaper is for if that fellow can't
be b|oWed Up." Another has been swindlcd
II nHrGhas ing an article advertised in the
newspapers, and he wants all the newspapers
biored to bellehack. The newspaper man is
besct with so many opportunities and threats
of this kind. that it is doubtful whether he
should be addressed as ''Mr Editor" or "Mr


Blowhard."


In this particular phase of warfare the To-
cal editor is generally on picket duty, and
against HIS devoted ttea-t beat the
waves and the biliows OF Il fcklc public
sentiment. The cditor-h-chcf sitting in bis
well filed library of select volumes, and sur
rounded by his helps to thought in the shape
Of exchanges from all parts of the world, a
pair of sharp scissors and paste pot.-may
in comparative quiet and secluson prepare
his able leaders He is as necessary to the
newspaper structure az is the Foundation to
the pcrmancncy of the building. Iii, rcla-
tion to the community is aS important as anv
of the profcss sions. While the preacher NAV
advance whatever ideas he plcases or ,tcal-
lily ignore ideas and please every body, with
no man among all those in the pcws who
''dares to take it up while the lawyer has
: rights in the presentation of a case fully guar
: anteed by the rules of the bar while the
physician may Kill or cure, and If he is the
family physician it is all right and no criti-
cism is allowed the work OF the editor,
much of it hastily done is daily laid bare to
inspection; every reader takes his place, un-
challenged, in the Jury box, to try the case
presented, and the entire editorial labor is
performed under the stran prndueed by the
; kno~ ledge of this searching public inspec-
r ton. His editorials must be well dgestetl,
truthful, timely and original. A politician
may get up quite reputation on pair of
steers, but never an editor on pair of shears.
t But the local depends less on brains, and
more on legs and while the leader may occa-
sonally be dispensed with, the hungry public
f is clamorous for news. 1t demands local new
: every day. whether anything happens or not.
e so great Is the strain upon the mind of the
I sensitive local that we have known him to
Z have a desire to go out and kill some one