Year: 1874

A poet of Cockaigne is surely at fault in
asserting


If you tumble in love and are burning to pop,


You should never lose time in despair;


But at once on your knees you should gracefully


drop,


And express what you have to declare.


Kneeling to ladies, we fancy, went out
with swords and silk stockings. The gal
liant fashion had its Inconvenience. Not
for supple-jonted youth, may be, but suit
ors of Falstaffian build ran the risk of put
ting themselves in the ridiculous plight of
COleman's Eudoxus, who, his love plaint
proving of no avail,


And thrice he tried to quit his kneeling place;
But lat and corpulency seemed to say


Here's petitioner that must forever pray!


until his humiliation was completed by a
sturdy flGnkey being instructed to set the
weighty wOoer ON his feet. Poor Jerry
White came to more lasting grief through
flinging himself at the feet of the PrOtec-
tors daughter, for, caught in the act by
Noll himself, the ambitious parsOn pre-
tended he was suing for the hand of the
ladv's maid. and, taken at his word, had
to marry her instead of her mistress.
Such catastrophe did not await Daniel
Webster, when kneeling before his lady
love, he suddenly dropped the tangled
skein of silk she was winding off his
hands, SAYING, ''Grace, we have been un-
tying knots, let us see if we can't tie one
which will not unite in lifetime'' With
a piece of tape he fashioned half a true
lovers knot, Miss Fletcher perfected it,
ard kiss sealed the bargain.


A lOve-lorn miller popped the question
to pretty little milliner by enclosing half
match in valentine. Fearing this
might not be deemed explicit enough, he
followed it up with an odd letter of pro-
posal, in which, after confessing he had
hitherto been "a general lover to a certain
extent" he said, ITO yoke with you be-
lieve should be both delighted and hap
py, for love and esteem you with all my
heart, and could soon forget all others for
the sake of you" The man of flour.
however, was not entirely happy, as he
and the lady were of different religions,
still he did not think that difficulty insur-
mountable. although" said he, ''neith-
er of us would be arbitrary, one might
want the other to 60 along with them
in what they considered the broad road
that leads to damnation, whereas our
interests would be different ways, which
is the greatest evil under the sun to
us, but | hope not a fixer!" The mil
Ter certainly received ''fiXer" of some
sort, seeing his cOurtship ended in his
having to defend an action for breach of
promise. Your general lovers are not
lacking in self-cOnceit. A delectable spec
inen of the tribe, the Honorable John
Trevor, fancied himself in love with Miss
Steele, and after telling her as much, went
on, You will object that | tell almost
every lady the same story. grant do.
those like; some have been so good as
to believe me, and soften the care and con-
Germ that the most unchristian and unbe-
lieving part of the sex hath created. But
to none have | confessed the attraction of
nv seul so far that | would, what shall |
say? marry them? No; never was | so
daring. so bold in thought, till the year
1729-3O, and the twenty-tOurth year of my
age. when was so fortunate, or unfortu-
nate, as YOU decree, to behold the resist
less charms of the most engaging. But
of this enough" The impudent woOer
then drops sentiment for business.
If settlements are to take place.
what can offer, will, | hope, be not un-
equal to YOUR fortune, though inferior to
YOUR deserts. If you are disposed to
think seriously on this point, there must
be a provision for the younger children,
which Providence will not fail under hon
est industry, to bless us with. What re-
mains for me is to assure you that with
out vanity, / love myself exceedingly
well, and can heartily love you if you will
do so too." No wonder lover with such
an ''if' obtained dismissal for his pains.


Swift, who had no more tenderness
than one of his own Yahoos, indited the
most brutal proposal we know of. Tired
of his shilly-shallying, Miss Varying
seems to have insisted upon his speaking
out. and Swift spoke out with ven
geance. After protesting he is too just to
stand in the way of her accepting a more
advantageous offer, he says he must ask
her a few Neutrality-suspicious. he had
long since resolved to ask of the woman
with whom he meant to spend his life :
"Are YOU in condition to manage do
nestle affairs with an income of less than
three hundred pounds year? Have you
such an inclination to my person and hon
or as to comply with my desires and way
of living, and endeavOr to make us both
as happy as you can? Will you be ready
TO engage in those methods | shall direct
for the improvement of your mind, so as
to make us entertaining company for each
other, without being miserable when we
are neither visiting or visited? Can you
bend YOUR love, esteem and Indifference
to others the same way as | do mine
Have YOU so much good nature as to en-
deayor by soft words to smooth any rug
ged humOr occasioned by the cross acci-
dents of life? Shall the place in which
your husband is thrown be more welcome
than courts and cities without him |?
Surely never was lady so catechised by
a suitor for her hand. When Jane Wa
ryng felt able to answer every question IL
the affirmative, then, and not till then, hel
lover saws. Il shall be blessed to have yOU
in nv arms, without regarding whether
your person be beautiful or your fortune
LARGE. Cleanliness in the first, and com
petency in the second, is all look for!
This unique epistle ends" singled yOJ
out at first from the rest of women, and
expect not to be used like common low
er." Swift was evidently enough very
uncommon lover.


There is world of difference between
the love-making of morbid, self-loving
Swift, and that of cheery-hearted RicharC
Steele; the ravens croak and the lark:
song are not more unlike. Steele made
love like a lover and gentleman. lie
never dreamed of plying his mistress with
doubling questions upon questions. be
lieving his Prue to be as beautiful, witty,
prudent, and good humored as woman
could be, Steele was cOntented to know
she loved him, and took the rest upon
trust. "Instead of saying | shall die fol-
you, | profess l should be glad to lead my
life with you!" That is the way he pops
the question; then, when assured that the
dearest being upon earth is his own. he
asks her to name the day. Can anything
be more charming in its way than this
IL have not a minutes quiet out OF your
sight; and when | am with you, you use
me with so much distance, that am still
in state of absence, heightened with a
view of the charms which | am denied to
approach. In word, you must give me
either fan, a mask, or a glove you have
worn, or l cannot live; otherwise you
must expect will kiss your hand, or
when | next sit by you, steal your hand
kerchief You yourself are too great a
bounty to be received at once; therefore
| must be prepared by degrees, lest the
mighty gift distract me with joy. Deai
Mrs. Scurlock. | am tired of calling you
by that name; therefore say the day III
which you will take that OF, madam, your
most Obedient, most devoted, humble
servant"


A Frenchman, smitten with the charm;
of fair Lydia Sterne, instead of trying tC