Year: 1879

hon. No attention was paid to this
paper outside Of the county in which
Ms published until the editor CON
eluded to stir things up in the ancient
style of Brownlow, Brick Pomeroy
and the illustrious Pat Donan. who
y Once published a paper called the
= Caucasian, in Missouri. The Northern
I papers that happened to exchange
with the 0kolona States began to copy
from the paper and attach Importance
TO itas representative Southern paper,
themOuthpiece of JEFF Davis and all the
old secession leaders, who of course
are quietly waiting for an opportunity
to break up the government, re-enslave
the negroes and establish the Confed-
crate capital in Washington. The
paper was soon quoted all over the
North it was read from in congress,
and the name of the editor is house
hold treasure in all truly loyal fami-
lies. Colonel Harper woke up one
line morning and found himself fa-
nous; and some other morning
awwhen the Radicals get through
using his blood and thunder and
fOrked Confederate lightning, he will
, wake up and find that his fame has
vanished and left him stranded high
and dry on the sands of euphOnious
Okolona, unable to print even one side
OF his paper at home If the colonel
could only utilize his reputation as
tire-eating old reb who has Inot had
lighting enough there would be mil
lions in it, and he could form an equal
partnership with George Francis
Train, or possibly with Eli Perkins.
If he can lecture half as furiously as
he writes the Republicans would no
doubt give him five hundred dollars
night to help them out in the
next campaign. He would make
a fine subject for Mast and
a leader in Harper'S Weekly journal
OF Civilization, but he is so nervous
and anxious to get at the throats of
the few fighting in men the Northth at
he failed for want of time to kill during
the war that he could never be in
duced to stand long enough to have
his picture taken. Mast will have to
take him by guess work or from cut
in yellow back dime novel. The
other papers in Mississippi are down
on the States but they are inspired by
envy at the colonels greatness and their
corresponding obscurity. His paper
is not read much about 0kolona, but it
is cherished and admired in Republi-
can circles up North. They fairly roll
1t under their tongues as a sweetmorsel
and would weep great April showers
if the dyspeptic Southern colonel,
who affords them so much comfort and
assurance in the prospect Of another
war, were to suddenly drop off or
retire from business If the Southern
Confederacy gets another start the
capital will be at 0kolona crossroads,
and Colonel Harper will be President


and don't YOU forget it. Bill Arp
once added to a letter written
six months after the war "P.
S. [ have just learned that
Lee has whipped EN- agin in Virgin
ny. l Iknowed all the time we would
come out all right. Confederate
money will be worth something now,
but haven't got any, The sole sur.
viyor of the Southern Confederacy at
OkOlons is boarding up his Confeder-
ate money and determined that it shall
be made good even if he has to give
Petroleum V. Nasby an interest in the
speculation and buy an extra ream Of
patent outside paper every six months.
The country has to be saved regardless
Of cost, and the man has turned up
who can do that very thing. This
being accomplished and Grant elected
President, the colonel could take his
pick Of foreign or custom-house ap-
pointments and retire from the tur-
, mOil and responsibility of conducting
a great metropolitan journal with a
circulation of seventy-fve a week.


including the exchange list. Who
can peruse a column editorial repro
duced in the Chicago Inter Ocean or
the New York Times and feel that
Southern chivalry has degenerated :?
1t may be scarce, but it shines all the
more ccnspicuously when it mounts
a two-legged editorial stool with pen
in one hand and sword in the other,
and keg Of nitro-g -glycerine within
easy reach In the language of an
old Conied during the war, Lie down
there, you Georgia malish-the colonel
is about to bust another cap"