Year: 1878

|


Allow me, Mr.. Editor, to congrat


ulate you upon the Improvement il


your bill of fare. While some peo


pie are fond of red pepper other


like black. Chemistry teaches III


that some substances when mixed


unite and form another and Who'll


ly different substance from either


propose to mix these two article;


little and send you a small sample


so that when you next give feas


of reason and a flow of soul, yor


can offer your guests another condi


ment perhaps a little more sJimula


ting than either; and before / gel


through, IN give you name for it


Some folks say there is nothing il
a name-''that rose by any Other
name would be as sweet" Now


Black Pepper himself don't believe
u word of that; he thinks a rose


would be a great deal sV eeter il
called by some other name. There
is a great deal in a name; tr
Besides . in Holy Writ tbs always true
That names when changed denote the ia


voIed few.''


| Thus Abram heightened into Abraham
| To mark the spreading of his race and name,
| While Jacob doubtless did his name lament
Till smoother Israel to his taste was sent.


And sure the fact familiar is to all,


| How Jewish Saul became the Christian Paul.
Black Pepper says the people are
waiting for another eclipse and want
to use DR.. d. for a smoked glass
If he continues to sprinkle such
pungent articles about they won't
need any smoked glass for every
thing will be so dark they'll never
know when the eclipse comes. The
mistake that the two little darkies
made about DR.. DIS shadow was
not a very great one after all, for he
IS a little stringy, and the shadow
of his legs wight be taken for shoe
strings in a scuffle. But everybody
has his weak parts, his may be IN
his legs friend P, but yours is in
your head. 1 don't think you do
Joe. L. justice either. He is no
fool. Who ever heard of a man
buying summer coon skim 1t
must have been some other kind.
He writes some poetry and trium
phantly exclaims, Glow will that
do?' About as much poetry in it
as there is grease in the hind legs
OF a grasshopper. But l wont say
so much about the poetry but a lit
tie about modern poets. There was
time when poetry was thought to
exude from the pen of inspiration.
Afterwards the summit Of Parnas
sus was barely accessible to the
strongest plnions of genius. But
nowadays minstrels are as com
mon as black berries in Lawrence,
and not half so much thought of.
Every school boy can write poetry
now; and the flowers of sentiment
that decorate the Tyres of our great
est bards are nothing more than
artificial ones in imitation of those
that bloomed in the garden of the
muses. in days OF yore. The girdle
of Apollo has been worn thread
bare in the service of the Nine and
it is now no longer fit to grid up the
loins of a penny rhymester. And a
body had just as well think of revo-
lutionizing the world with Benefits
Herald as to suppose he can gain
Immortality by scribling verses.
Poetry nowadays is nothing but a
brush on fire. 1t blazes up for q
moment, then dies in smoke, and all
its genius, brightness and beauty
are left to shoulder in its ashes.-
When a poet dies his name and
his fame die with him. He gives
one kick and the waves of sympa-
thy extend to his nearest friends,
but no further. Even their tears
soon become dried, and memory
loses the way to his silent abode.
This is a little depression however
and has no personal allusion what
ever. I'll take your advice B. p, and
be Ienient, for it is not in me to be
anything else.


Frank Amis says he is shrinking
up a little-getting delicate and
that he needs you very much about
this time. He wants to cut a door
IN you and set yod out in the hack
yard. 1 endorse your suggestions
concerning Ed. Jones fully.


"But hold, Pm too discreet


To run muck and till it all meet


In conclusion allow me to con
graduate you upon your lucky es-
cape-'twas well for you that the
monstrous ideas conceived by your
prolific brain were prematurely de
livered; for if they had gone to full
term, mental travail never could
have brought them forth; but
should you ever get in like condi-
tion again and need any assistance
I'll hasten to your assistance with
as much speed as is compatible
with obstetrical dignity. You seem
to think that l will be hurt and
mad at you for writing me up; not
a bit of it. feel for all the world
as though / had sinned and had
just been forgiven. To forgive is
divine and l hope you'll forgive any
signs of i'll humor that may be made
manifest in the flesh Of your humble
servant, for l assure you they are
entirely extraneous, having neither
root in my heart nor hold upol my
inclinations, but remember, that
biters often get bitten,


That aeas have other feAs 70 bite 'em,


And so we 60 on ad inhnitem,


Now, Mr.. Editor, if any of your
guests have their tastes so vitiated
as to require stronger condIment
than either Black or X. n. Pepper
or both mixed, just let me know
and I'll send you q small sample of
double distilled comp. ext. Of Cap
sicum. X. n. PEPPER.


Doesn't baker encourage idle