Year: 1878




Every How and then an item is published
giving an account OF the antics of some crazy
person who finds his or her way to the White
House. Not half the calls OF people Of this class
at the Executive mansion are recorded. Their
visits are almost the daily rule rather than the
exception. They come from all parts of the
country, on all manner of imaginary missions,
and wants to see the President. Generally the
uSherS down stairs discover their infirmity and
manage to get them out of the building On some
preteNt or other; but very often they find their
way up stairs, and sometimes pass the door
keeper and secure the ear of the President.
The uSherS down stairs have had SO much eX-
peTience in dealing with lunaticS and monoma-
MACS that they have become very expert in
handling them. The uSherS acquire almost a
sufficient knowledge Of the subject to fulfill the
duties deyolving upon the superintendent of any
insane asylum in the country. Billy Crump,
who was General Hayes orderly during the war
and came with him from Ohio, is particularly
an adept in this branch OF the public service.


The daft people who find their way into the
Presidents room generally look sane enough;
but some let their mental weakness be known
by their queer questions and strange actions.
They are manouyered out as soon as possible,
but often cause considerable trouble. When q
person calls at the Executive mansion who is so
insane as TO be helpless or dangerous, he is
turned over to the police and sent TO the insane
asylum or his home. From clues furnished by
themselves the place from which they hail is
often discovered, and they are given transpoT-
tation thereto at government expense. There
are such number that have TO be sent to the
insane asylum that it has been suggested that a
special appropriation be made for taking them
home. as 1t costs more TO maintain them at the
government expense in the ASYLUM. some
harmless lunatics have method in their mad
| ness. At stated periods they pay the White
House visit. Their faces have become
familiar.


THE MAN WHO CALLS TO t'TAKE HIS SEAT
Among these is an old gentleman who lives
short distance out in the country, near Bla-
densburg. He wears 4 la"ge soft hat, salt and
pepper pants, and short black coat. His eyes
are blue and mild, with nothing wild about
them. and his hair is gray. He calls regularly
once in every two months. He comes in the
door s0iennly. Being asked what he wants,
he replies, 50 | have come to take my seat He
then tells how he has been regularly elected
President, and would have come to enter on
his duties sooner, but work on his farm pre-
vented his leaving home. The llSherS talk to
him seriously about the matter, and as a gem
era} thing he soon leaves perfectly satisfied.
1be last tine he called he was somewhat per-
sStent in demanding 1.-The Presidential chair"
i'll order Ito take his lawful seat" Being ex-
postulated with, he explained to the ushers that
they need have no fear: he did not intend 10
make many changes and would keep them all
in Office. lie didn't know, come to think of it,
that he would make any removals at all. He
might, however. put Secretary SchurZ out of the
Cabinet He was asked If he had wife. He
replied NO" He was then told that no man
unmarried could be President. He left immp-
diately, with the expressed determination to
marry as soon as he got home and then come
back and ''take his seat"


! THE MAN WHO OWNS THE TREASURY AND WHITE
HOUSE.


4 man comes down here from Pennsylvania
about five time a year. He is about thirty-fiye
| years Old and dresses neatly and comfortably.
He demands to see the President. The Trea-
stlry and the White House have been decided to
| him and he wants the possession OF both. The
last time he called he Wore pair Of badly used
up shoes, and got slightly noisy. When put
outside the door he said: Il will submit this
time as do not wish to make Hayes houseleSs;
| but the next time come want no foolishneSs.
| want him to move out promptly. hate to be
| so harsh but my shoes are wearing out and
must have my rights. Just tell him how the
| case stands


| THE MAINE WOMAN WHO CALEB TO CONVERT
THE PRESIDENT.


\ woman from Maine walked In one day. in
! dress like that OF QuakeresS. She stalked
| INTO The east room and spreading a large Bible
| which she carried under her alIn-on one of the
! WlndoW seats announced her text and began in
| loud voice TO hold forth on the necessity OF
| being born again. Sergeant DinSmore told her
| She must not make a noise She calmly told
| told BIN that her mission was TO convert Presi-
! dent Hayes and she had come to fulfil it, An
| effort being made to escort her to the door she
| again became loud and quoted verse after
| verse from the Bible. After much noise, but no
| porch and the door was closed. She left an
nounring her determination to convert Mr..
Hayes, and repeating scrlptural texts all the
way down the concrete walk to the gate.
AN OHIO ASTRONOMER
| man from Ohio called few weeks ago. He
had a theory thai The world was coming to an
| end In few days, II he was not made Superin-
tendent of the Naval Observatory. in view that
ne might, by his knowledge OF astronomy, avert
! the impending collision OF the earth with all
me planets; He was promised the position and
left satisfied


THE GREENBACK WOMAN WHO WAS ELECTED
GOVERNOR OF PENNSYLVANIA.
Ohio, by the by, furnishes quite number of
subjects. woman fdom that state. about ~
years old, with gray hat, a light wooden cloak.
handsome brown eyes. and regular features
cane quietly in last week. She said that there
was. was thousand dollars UP, that she had been
elected governor OF Pennsylvania On the green
back ticket. She had only the week before
gone 20 that state TO see about ii. and not get
ting much satisfaction had come to the Presi-
dent TO haTe The question finally settled She
exhibited what she called her credentials"
1nlS important document was the ticket issued
by lhe greenDackera ia the recent elections in
pennsylvania, and had Oh them, of course, the
names OF all the nominees Of that party. She
was told that the President could do Gothinu
for her. and was referred to Attorney General
Deyens.


THE MAN WITH LETTER


\ raW-b0ned fellow from Maine is seen no
more at the White House. He used to be q reg
liar visitor. He would march in every morn
military salute hand him letter The letters
were always addressed to Hon. r. b. Hayes,
t nom ohio, President of the United states. [. s.
District Of Columbia These letters were
always opened, but were such scrawls that no
one could read them. This probably suited the





denver the letters promptly at nine every
molning.


THE MAN WHO WENT OUT AT THE DOOR AND CANE


IN AT THE WINDOW.


Last summer burly lunatic raised a row i'm
lhe East Room because he was told by Sergeant
DlnSmOre that the President could not see him.
He was put out. Dinsmore watched and saw
that he went around back OF the house. He
stepped to the south end OF the East Room lust
IN time TO grab the big intruder as he was com
ing through the window. The fellow looked
cfestfalien and said apOlOgetically IL only
wanted to see the Hon. Mr.. Hayes"


THE GODDESS OF LIBERTY


Just stepped down from the dome OF the Cant
tol., has already been introduced to the readers
OF HE STAR. She came back the other week
ana being refused admittance to the Presidents
room threatened to bring down her reserves,
lhese consisted, she said, of all the statues in
Ine ora Hall or Representatives and that OF Col
umb'iS In tie east front OF the Capitol a.Ia OF
the group OF The backWoOdSman and Il.u,ap
lighting.


THE MAN WHO CLOSED THE WAR OF THE RE-


BElLlON.


A hard looking male customer-he was about
forty years old-canie in one morning am
the man." he said in roar, ..who closed the re-
belliOn. IT is matter OF necessity that Should
see the President He was told that the Presi-
Gent did not receive visitors at the White
House. He saw every one who called at IA
10th street This is the number of the police
station on that street The man went promptly