smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1869

Colonel J. Stoddard Johnston, the
editor of the Frankfort Woman, has
been writing q series of entertaining
letters to his paper from Washington
city, whittier he was sent as State mes
senger, and, from among other items
and notes of his last contribution, we
extract the following concerning one OF
the most redoubtable heroes of the age


When Buffers name was called ION
the occasion of drawing for seats) ne
walked over across the hall from the
Radical side, and selected his seat close
up to the Democratic headquarters,
amid. much laughter. No carIcature l
have ever seen OF this notorious charac-
ter does him injustice. He cannot be
caricatured, being himself living carl
turs on manhood. Short and chunky,
his legs are to his body like pipe.stems
stuck into pumpkin. His head is the
most remarkable cranial excrescence
both Internationally and as regards MS
physiognomy, ever saw In prlut or on
living shoulders. He is bald on top OF
his head, but, if he ever did have fore
head, it looks as if it had not been more
than couple of inches high.
He has no bump of reverence,
but self-esteem ises in kind OF preno'
logical Peaks of Otter; and you may
Judge of the peculiar formation OF ooth
head and chin when tell you that, II
you would proleug the plane of the
chin upward and of the forehead or the


top of the head downward, they would


meet with an angle about six inches


in front of the eyes. In well-forned


Caucasian face they are either parallel


or meet remote from the face, but But


Ter is paradox, and, if you want fiat


tering likeness, take the first caricature
of him you see in comic paper, and yor
may frame it with perfect assurance
that yen have fiattering likeness Of
, him.
Year: 1869

In a recent conversation with farmer
from California, he spoke of his 1900
acres as a small farU, and his POO acres
of wheat as a small affair. Some of his
neighbors had 5000 acres of wheat, and
The yield was from 90 to 40 bushels to
the acre. The highest yield he had
known was S3 bushels to the acre. The
fencing of land was getting so common
that cattle could not be kept as profit
ably as formerly, and he had come East
to invest in Cotswold sheep. To an
Eastern man, the terms small and great
have a very indefinite application in
that country.
Year: 1869

A lady having the misfortune to have
her husband hang himself on an apple
tree, the wife of a neighbor immediate
ly came to beg branch of that tree, to
have it grated into one in her orchlrd,
" for who knows" says she, " but it may
bear the same kind of fruit p
Year: 1869

The Hebrew word Shlemiel signifies a
fussy fellow who never does any thing,
but always makes show of working
hard. We have no equivalent word,
and its adoption would be a convent
cDCe
Year: 1869

A trauscendental preacher took for
his text, "Feed my lambs" A plain
farmer very quantity remarked to him,
on coming out of the church: "a very
GOOD text, sir: but you should take care
not TO put the hay so high in the rack
that the lambs can't reach ii"
Year: 1869

Anecdotes Of General Grant are
becoming quite the staple of talk.
They all have very sharp applica.
ton. Speaking Of the tenure-of-
office act the other day he made
this very characteristic illustration:
1T is no reason because you have
found it necessary to put curb bit
in the mouth of one horse that you
should try it on another"


His opposition to any violent
reduction of the army. such as is
now proposed by the amendments
before the House, is well known.
He proposes to reduce by the
process of absorption, which he
recommended while Secretary of
War, and which is now going on
rapidly. A member of Congress
was conversing with him the other
day on this subject, when General
Grant said, Il see yon propose to
reduce the army about seven-eights.
"Oh, no. was the reply. "Only
about one half" "Well," said
Grant, "these officers have had a
right to believe that their positions
were for life. or during good be
havior. If they &C out there will
be g:eat many meritorious men
out of position. and l don't see but
[ shall have to provide for them il
the custom houses and the revenue
department, if l have any officials
at my disposal"
Year: 1869

Now, sir. what will you give to
settle. and not be disgraced. as you
certainly will be. ifa trial is brought,
and You are compelled to give up
the property you confess to own.
but which in reality belongs to the
Company p


"Well. Mr. Manager, had not
thought of this matter. For sew
eral years l have been running my
train to the best OF my ability.
Never looked at this matter in this
light before. Never thought was
doing anything wrong. l have
done nothing more than other con
ductors have; tried to earn my
salary and get it-and think I've
succeeded. l don't know that |
owe the company anything Ifyou
think l do. why. there's a little
difference of opinion, and don't
want any trouble over it. l have a
nice family, nice father and nice
mother; relatives all people of good
standing-they would feel very bad
to have me arrested charged with
dishonesty. 1t would kill my wife.
She has every confidence in me in
the world, and the idea that /, her
husband. would take so little as pen
ny that did not belong to me would
send her broken hearted to the
grave I don't care anything for
the matter myself. but on account
of my family and relatives. l want
to make it right with the road and
the officers. and if you won't say
anything more about it, III givt
you doliGrr'
Year: 1869

A RECEIPT w ORTIZ ONE THOUSAND
DoLLARs.-1'he Ohio Cultivator
says the following receipt is worth
a thousand dollars to every house.
keeper:


Take one pound Of sal soda and
half pound of unslacked lime and
put them in gallon of water; boil
twenty minutes, let 1t stand till cool,
then drain off and put IN small jug
or jar; soak your dirty clothes over
night, or until they are wet through,
then ring them out and rub on plen-
ty Of soap and one boiler of clothes
we'll covered with water, add one
teacupful of Washing fluid boil half
an hour briskly, then wash them
thoroughly with one suds; rinse,
and your clothes will look better
than by the old way of washing
twice before boiling. This is an
invaluable receipt, and every poor,
tired woman should try it.
Year: 1869

Association and answered by the
advocates Of the half mile ring.


The other point, whether the
races are necessary to the welfare of
the Association Treasury, can partly
be answered by an examination of
the comparative receipts of racing
and non racing days. What the
facts in the case are we do not know
But it should be borne in mind,
when making such comparison,
that it has been alleged, and with
good show of reason. that the racing
on the closing days has had an un
favorable effect on the general at
tendance at the fair, and that many
OF the class who should support the
fair. stay away from it in conse-
quence of its horse racing associa-
tions.
Year: 1869

What strange disposition is that
which leads people to say .'hateful'
things for the mere pleasure of say
ing them. You are never safe with
such a person. When you have
done your 'erv best to please, and
are feeling kindly and pleasantly, out
will pop some bitter speech, some
underhand stab which alone COM
prehend-a sneer which Is masked.
but too we'll aimed to be misunder-
stood. 1t may be at your person.
Your mental failings, your foolish
habits of thought or some little Sc
cret of faith or opinion confessed in
a moment of genuine confidence. 1t
matters not how sacred it may be to
YOU, he will have his fling at it: nay.
since the wish is to make you suffer,
he is all the happier the nearer he
Year: 1869

Gone from her cheek is the summer bloom,
And her breath has lost all its faint perfume,
And the gloss hath drop't from her golden hair
And her cheek is pale, but no longer fair.



And the spirit that safe on her soft blue eye
Is struck with cold mortality:
And the smile hat play'd on her lip hath fed
And every grace hath now left the dead.
Like slaves they obey'd in hight of power,
But left her all in a wintry hour;
And the crowds that swore for her love to die
Shrank from the tone of her last sad sigh
And this is mans fidelity.
'Tis woman alone, with firmer heart,
Can see all their idols of life depart.
And love the more; and soothe, and bless
Man in his utter wretchedneSs.
Year: 1869

Some things may be said in favor
of boys; some trades would not
live without them. The glass put
in-men wouldn't have much to do,
and putty would be on the decline,
if there were no boys to break the
windows.


There would be no customers for
the cast-iron peaches and green
apples which come early in the
seasons; hut for the boys, the doc
tors wouldn't have so much to do in
curing cases Of cholera morbus
arising therefrom.


Boys can be useful when they
have mind to, and can sell news
papers, black boots, hold horses,
and do chores.


In printing Offices the boys are
known as devils-priEters have a
plain way of speaking.


Boys individually are better than
boys collectively.


If there were only one boy in the
world, | think he would be q good
boy; it generally takes at least two
boys to get up any mischief.


Have one boy in store and you
have him useful.


Hire second hoy, and their time
will be chiefly devoted to chasing
one another over the counter, and
firing the dust brush and directory
at each others Leads.


A boy begins to be nuisance
when he is eight years old. How
soon he grows out Of it depends on
circumstances. Some never do.


1t is questionable whether boys
lead an enjoyable existence. They
take great deal Of fun at other
peoples expense, but they have
most always got grievances. They
would like to have their own way a
little more, and pretty way it
would be-


Give boy a choice OF all occupa-
tons in life, and the chances are
that he would prefer either to be a
Robinson Crusoe on desert island,
or Il captain of a band Of robbers
such az he had read about, and Sc
riously thinks of going into one
or the other of these desirable occu-
p.tions when he gets to be man
He has great respect for stage
driver and the captain Of canal
boat-there is an idea of command
in these positions that takes his
ideas His idea of being man is
having plenty of money, doing
what you please, and being able to
smoke or chew tobacco withoni
getting sick over it.


Somebody wrote song, "W ould
I were a boy again" Those who
had the bringing up Of him are moi
likely to have the same sentiment
Raising a boy once is as much as
any body wants to undergo. and
fortunately, when they once grow
up they stay growed up, and have
children OF their own to aff1ic'
them.
Year: 1869

touches your heart. just half q
dozen words, only for the pleasure
of seeing cheek flush and an eye
lose its brightness, only spoken be-
cause he is afraid you are too happy
or too conceited. Yet they are
worse than so many blows. How
many sleepless nights have such at
tacKs caused tender-hearted idiots.
How after them, one awakes with
aching eyes and head, to remember
that speech before anything else
that bright, sharp, welI-aimed needle
of a speech that probed the very
center of your soul. There is only


one comfort to be taken. The rep


etition of such attacks soon weans
your heart from the attacker; and


this once done. nothing he can say


will ever pain you more.
Year: 1869

A TERRIBLE tale of woe is that at
tending the recent death of o. La
frame, a sawyer, Of Quebec. He was
earning only seven shillings a week.
and had to support a wife and four
children. He had become weak from
want of food and too hard labor.
When leaving for the shipyard in
which he was employed his wife told
him that he was unable to work that
day. He answered, tive have no
wood, no bread: if l do not work
you and the children will die from
starvation. 1 must go and earn
something, if I perish in the at
tempt" And so he went; he at
tempted to resume his labor, but fell
dead.
Year: 1869

The hardest lesson a human being
can learn is that of self conquest.
That once learned. all the rest is
easy. Perhaps it is most difficult
for a woman, for women are more
impulsive than men. 1t is terrible
for any one to set aside all things
else for the sake Of duty; to say this
nope, this joy, this thing that makes
life beautiful. stands.in the way of
what ought to be first, and turns
ones back upon it; but it can be
done, and must be done by every
one at some time. One must learn.
also, the suppression of emotions
Which it is not wise to express. If
they can not be killed, then bury
them alive, and say nothing One
almost dies in the attempt, but the
proudest moment of any life is when
it can be said with truth: / can do
what l will with myself; l have no
habit | cannot in an instant break :;
l have no thought l cannot refuse
expression; l can forbid myself to
be angry, to seek vengeance-tO re-
sent even uncalled for insult and i'm
pertinence; and l can take even
love, The strongest of all human
emotions, from my heart, and stran
gle it, when to love would be either
wron or foolish. The men. who
drink to excess, the men who gam
bic, and who run away with other
men wives; the women who die of
love for some fellow incapable of
approaching them, or no fall to
deeper depths of degradation, are


people incapable of self, conquest


Think Of that, and learn to conquer
Your heart, your mind, and your APP
petites.
Year: 1869

NEW Iohks Juu liz lcOo.
To THE EDITOR OF THE HEKALD:-


You win have the hearty thanks of the entefprisng
merchants ana manufacturers OF the East II you VIII
agtate the question 40 ably started by you In your
issue OF to-day, to do away with the special tax on
non.resldents who OFFER goods for sale BY sample
throughout the country. Il IL for the interest OF
every man doing business here or elsewhere IN the
United states that commerce should be as free as
possible and open to the competition OF all citizens
The larger jobbers throughout the inland cities
generally favor this obnoxious license on the ground
that It gives them monopoly OF the small trade Of
their own section, and I believe this s the only
ground Of their support OF It. They caim that were
IL not for this the New York. Boston and Philadelphia
merchants would sell the retail trade OF their section
at lower rates than they could afford to compete
with. This IL q fallacy, inasnuch as the small
trade buy little and often, and require. as q rule
time on their purchases, and the Eastern mer
chant that could sell cheaper than the couu-
try jobber, woud hardly like TO spread his
goods over the country among class generally
customers would average thousand miles In dis
tance from his warehouse, 30 that his control over
them would be but slight and his information about
them but small generally, and only TO be obtained on
the spot BY his traveller, whose discretion no eau
tious merchant would be satisfied 10 rely on en-
trely. Nor would II pay for him to sacrifice mis- Job
bing customers, which ne certainly would do III he
interfered with their trade Nor would II nav pp-
cuniarily for the salary OF traveller varies from
$1,000 10 $4,000 per annum and his travelling ex
would nave TO seil great many goods TO meet his OK
penses, and this always remember, 10 a class that
buys but small amounts; and he may visit dozen In
his Line Of business before he 1nds one W want of
Year: 1869

There is a grocerin Philadelphia,
who is said to be so mean that be
was seen to catch a flea off his
counter, hold him up by his hind
legs, and look in to the cracks of
his feet, to see if be hadn't been
stealing some Of his sugar.
Year: 1869

A CAUTIOUS. S1NNER.--Some
years ago there was a good deal
of excitement among the people
in a certain town in c.: coun-
ty, Vermont, on the subject of
religion, and almost every man in
the place was more or less awak-
ened to a sense, Of his sinfuness;
and made public declaration of his
intention to lead different life.
Among the rest were three of the
principal men of the village, whom
we will call NJ, 3D. and
c., who, being all present at
one eff the meetings, took part in
the proceedings, to the great joy
of the faithful, and much to the
astonishment Of "the rest o&man.
kind" then and there assembled.
NJ rose first, and having


made general confession Of his
unworthiness, said in conclusion,


that he had always intended to be
an honest man, but if he had


wronged any one he was willing
to make full restitution. B
followed, speaking in pretty much
the same manner. g. arose


next, and spoke Of his sins and
wickedness in quite as strong
terms as the others had done but


coming to the PROSTITUTION" clause


he remarked, with a caution char
acteristic of himself, eff there is
any man that I have defrauded, ]
shall be most happy to sit down
and talk it oyer with him.
Year: 1869

Not long ago the young and
beautiful wife Of one Of the citi-
zens Of Monongahela, Va, was
called to her final account, leaving
her husband sad, disconsolate, and
bereft. She was buried in the
cemetery, and the husband return
ed again to his desolate home, but
not to forget the loved one. She
was present with him by day, in
spirit, and in his dreams at night.
One popularity ofhis dreams, and
one that haunted him-being re-
peated night after nigbt-was this:
that the spirit Of his wife came to
his bedside and told him that the
undertaken had not removed from
her face the square. piece ofmuslin,
or napkin, which had been used to
cover her face after death; but had
screwed down her coffin lid with
it upon her, andthat she could not
breathe in her grave, but was in
unrest on account Of the napkin.
lie tried to- drive the dream away,
but it bided with him by night,
and troubled him by day. He
sought the consolation Of religion,
and his pastor prayed with him
and assured him that it was wick
ed to indulge such morbid fancy.
It was the subject Of his own pc
tition before the Throne Of Grace;
but still the spirit came and told
anew the story Of her suffocation.
In despair he sought the under
taker who told him that the nap
kin had not been, removed, but
urged him to forget the circum-
stance, as it could not be any
possible annoyance to inanimate
clay. While the gentleman frank
ly acknowledged, this, he could
not avoid the appaFition, and
continual stress upon his mind
began to- tell upon his health. At
length he determined to have the
body disinterred, and visited the
undertaken for that purpose. Here
he was met with the same advice
and persuasion; and convinced
once more of his folly, the haunted
man returned once more to his
home. That night, more vivid
than ever: more terribly real than
before, she came to his bedside,
and upbraided him for his want of
affection, and would not leave him
until he had promised to remove
the cause of all her suffering.
The next night, with friend, he
repaired to the sexton, who was
prevailed upon to accompany
them, and there, by the light Of
the cold, round moon, the body
was lifted from its narrow bed,
the coffin lid unscrewed, aud the
napkin removed from the face Of
the corpse. That night she came
to his bedside once more, but for
the last time. Thanking him for
his kindness, she pressed her cold
lips to his cheek, and came again
no more. Reader, this is a true
story can you explain the myste-
ry of dreams
Year: 1869

Do you feel weak, debtated, easily tired2
Does a little extra exertion produce palpta-
ton Of the hearth Does your liver, or your kid
news, frequently get out of order? Do you have
spells Of short breathing, or dyspepsia2 Are your
bowels constipated2 Do you have spells OF faintng
OF rushes Of blood to the head9 Is your memory i'm
paired? Is your mind constantly dwelling upon TINS
subject? Do you feel dull, listess, moping tired OF
company OF life? Do you wish to be left alone, to
get away from everybody Does any little thing
make you start or jump? Is your sleep broken or
restless? Is the ustre Of your eye as brillant2 Tne
bloom on your cheek sbright2 Do you enjoy your
self in society as well? Do you pursue your business
with the same energy7 Do you feel as much con-
ndence in yourself? Are your spirits dull and nag
ging given to fits of melancholy II so, do not lay
1t to your liver or dyspepsia Have you restless
nights2 Your back weak, your knees weak, and
have but little appetite, and you attribute this to
dyspepsia or liver complaint


Did YOU ever think that those bold, def
ant, energetic, persevering, successful business
men are always those who are In per-
feet health? You never hear such men COM
plain Of being melancholy OF nervousness, OF pal
pitation Of the heart. They are never afraid they
cannot succeed in business; they don't become sad
and discouraged; they are always polite and plea
SAINT in the company of ladies, and look you and
them right in the face-none of your downcast looks
or any other meanness about them.


How MANY men, from badly cured diseases have
oroupht about that state of weakness that has re-
duced the general system so much as to induce al
most every other disease-idocy lunacy, paralysis,
spinal affections suicide and almost every other form
hrrna In
cause OF the trouble scarcely ever suspected, and
nave doctored for all but the right one.


These diseases require the use of Diuretic.
Year: 1869

THE Supreme Court of the United
States, in com mon with the other
departments ofthe government, paid
a fitting tribute of respect to the
memory of the late Franklin Pierce
by adjourning its session on the day
of his funeral, and by an address
from the Chief Justice, in which he
alluded in fitting terms to the virtues
and engaging personal qualities Of
the deceased.
Year: 1869

THEY have only eight candidates for
the United States Senate in Tennessee.
A very superfluous candidate of that
description now running in this county,
might be spared to the Tennessee folks
on a pinch.
Year: 1869

Has been provided preparation in which the
solid extracts of the finest restoratives of the
vegetable kingdom are held in solution by a
spirituous agent, purged Of all deleterious con.
stituents. The patient, in choosing between
these two great antidotes, should be guided by
his own condition. II in n very low state, from
debility the Tonic should be his selection; but
pressing the Bitters isl Othe specific required.
Thousands find infinite benefit from taking each
in turn. There is no phase indigestion Bilious.
ness, Nervous Diseases, or Physical Prostration,
singly or combined they will not effect cure.


Biliousness, Indigestion. General Debility,
and all the complaints which proceed from a
want of proper action in the Liver, Stomach
and the Bowels, are eradicated by course Of
this great
Year: 1869

Without any special complaint except grad.
ual declination OF bodily strength and nervous
erergy, will find in the TONIC A FOUNTAIN
OF VITALITY ANDEYIG0R AS RE
A POOL IN lHE DESERT TO THE SAND
SCORCHED AND EA INTINE TRAVFI ER
Year: 1869

If the Intslligeneer expects to deceive
and caiole the people into adopting ne
gro suffrage, and then leaving it to the
generosity and honor of the Radical
party to fulfil its pledges aud give the
franchise to rebels it is simply mistaken
in its estimate of them. They have
learned from bitter experience that with
the radical party pledges are simply means
of obtaining and retaining power! That
they are made but to be broken!


There is the whole case in nutshell.
The leaders in this county simply desire
to regain their lost ascendency in the
Republican party. Their specious prom;
ises, amounting to nothing and intended
to amount to nothing, are simply de-
signed to delude the people into their
support. The trick will not succeed