smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1868

We clip the following speculations from
the COrHhH Magazine In the present age,
when the network Of telegraphy brings all
parts Of the earth into close intercommuni>
cation, we are not likely to trace, oven in
the most widespread disasters, the approach
ing destruction Of our globe. The same day
which brings the intelligence Of some desc,
lating catastrophe brings evidence also that
the devastation is but local. We are seldom
informed of Simultaneous, or nearly simulta
neous, events happening in widely separated
regions of the earth's surface. Accordingly,
we are seldom led to dread the occurrence Of
widely devastating series of catastrophes.
But certainly events have happened during
the past few months which might lead nerv-
ously disposed persons to imagine that the
inhabitants of the earth are not perfectly
safe from wide spread destructive agencies.
The same week that brought news of the
great hurricane which ravaged the West In
dian Isles, brought also the account of de-
structive hurricanes in the Indian and Pacis
6c Oceans. Then followed the series Of
earthquake shocks which have inflicted such
injury on the already much. tried inhabitants
of St. Thomas, and which still continue to
be felt at Intervals. Next we hear of an
earthquake in Somersetshire, then in Malta,
then in Egypt, then at Formosa, then in St
Salvador and now, almost as we write, the
bed of the Pacific is violently shaken, and
hundreds of the inhabitants of the Sandwich
Islands are destroyed by a violent uprush Of
molten matter. During all this time Vesu>
vius continues in violent eruption. Thus it
has happened that we have heard great deal
lately Of certain speculations-recently ven-
tilated by an American philosopher-which
threaten the earth with complete annihilation.
According to these views there is one great
danger to which we are at all times liable
the risk, namely, that some large volcanic
vent should be formed beneath the bosom of
the ocean. Through this the sea would rush
into the interior of the earth, aud being forth
with converted into steam by the intense
subterranean heat, would rend the massive
shell on which we live into thousand frag
ments. Whether it is possible or not that
such an event as this should take place, we
shall not here stay to inquire. Let it suffice
that the risk-if there be any-is no greater
new than it has been any time during thou
sands of years past.
Year: 1868

A LADY parting from her husband few
days since in the cars at Albany, was over
heard by the passengers TO utter the follow
ing paragraph, all in one breath Good by,
Will; write to me every day, won't you ?
I'll expect letter three times a week, any
way. Take good care Of my Sunday school
class for I'll want it when l come back. If
Miss smith calls don't give her more than
fifty cents, for we have to support our own
church, you know. Don't forget to bring
my silk dress and my other shoes. Come as
soon as you can. Don't forget your cane,
and let your mustache grow
Year: 1868

WOMEN BATHING.-I don't wonder wo>
men are not euamored of bathing, for the
costumes worn are rarely becoming to femi-
nine beauty. Out of the window l catch a
glimpse of a blueeyed girl l tried to teach
to swim this morning, though | presume
took more of lessons than | gave. She is 10
that charmingly uncertain condition between
girlhood and womauhood, and in her blue
trowsers aud tunic, her little white feet
treading symmetry into the sand, and her
arch and smiling face looking out from be-
meath straw hat, she certainly looked more
bewitching than she does at this moment. l
carried her to where l was obliged to hold
her up, and then supporting her gently, told
her to strike out. She did so, womanfully.
She seemed so prettyAlaying the part of the
boy, that yielded to the temptation to let
her slip from my hand, knowing she would
be frightened and cling to me like ivy. l
was right She sank under the swell of the
sea, and caught her in my arms as if had
done heroic instead of q sentimental thing.
The little creature was terribly alarmed, and
| had to hold her tightly for the remainder
of the bath. She afterward told several per-
sons had saved her life, and as had no
desire 20 receive credit l did not deserve, 1
informed her kindly of my strategy. She
pouted and looked prettier than ever, and
assured me she would never 60 into the sea
with me again. Perhaps she won't. But
being man of incorrigible vanity, and a
great grandfather besides, believe she will.
What girl of sixteen is afraid of man Of
seventy, or more or less We old fellows
sometimes forget our age.
Year: 1868

A New BABY-A little girl of Kentucky,
at boarding school, responded as follows to
a note from her father, announcing an inter-
esting event in the family:


MY Dear Pap Il was right glad to hear
from you, and that you we're well but did
not like it bit to hear that mother had
baby, because it was boy, should be glad
if were little girl, but | hate boys they
are not nice. Now, | am going to tell you
what want you to name him. 1 am going
to choose a hOmely name, because don't
think boys ought to have pretty names. Boys
are squealing all the time. You don't have
one minutes peace while there is a boy-baby
in the house but girl baby is good thing
to have in the house, for it never cries.
Name him Yuba Dam that's good enough
for boy. You must excuse me for writing
so much about boys; the reason l wrote
so much about boys is because don't Ike
boys. My love to ma, and tell her l hope
she will do better next time
Year: 1868

In Paris they have added several new ar.
hcles to the toilet set, consisting of small
box in which there is apearl 6nger-nail cleans
er, small vial OF powder for giving pink
tinge to the nails, slips of sand paper for
smoothing them, aud a piece ofchamois skin
attached to pearl handle for polishing them
off /; and as the whole affair retails for 81 only
Of course with many it will be considered
indispensable
Year: 1868

ATTEMPT TO PRINT A PERFECT Book
whether such a miracle as an immaculate
edition of classical author does exist says
one, Il have never learnt but an attempt
has been made to obtain this glorious singu>
llnritv. and was as nearly realized as is per
haps possible-the magnificent edition of
Os Lusiadas of Camoens by Don Joze SOuza,
in 1917. This amateur spared no prodigal>
ity of cost and labor, and hattered himself
that, by the assistance Of Didot, not single
Typographical error should be found in that
splendid volume. But an error was after
wards discovered in some Of the copies,
occasioned BY one of the letters in the word
Lusitano having got misplaced during the
working of one of the sheets. 1t must be
confessed that this was an accident or mis-,
fortune, rather than an erratum The
celebrated Foulises, of Glasgow, attempted
to publish work which should be perfect
specimen of typographical accuracy. Every
precaution was taken 10 secure the desired
result. Six experienced proof readers we're
employed, who devoted hours to the reading
of each page and after it was thought to be
perfect, it was posted up in the hall of the
university, with notification that reward
of fifty pounds would be paid to any person
who could discover an error. Each page
was suffered to remain two weeks in the place
where it had been posted, before the work
was printed, and the printers thought that
they had attained the object for which they
had been striving When the work was
issued, it was discovered that several errors
had been committed, one of which was in
the FIRST line of the first page The Fouls
editions. of classical works are still much
priced BY scholars ard collectors.
Year: 1868

On and after the first day of April next the
subscriber will be found at the above stand
where he will be pleased to sec his old custom,
ers, and al others who may want anything
the WATCH or JEWELRY LINE


mar 19-tf Ia 3. FLEMING,
Year: 1868

Where one was sold q few years ago, q


thousand are sold now.


They strengthen, warm and invigorate the
part upon which they are applied. and relieve
nervous affections of the bowels lumbago pains
of the side, and usually all local pains In aaec-
tions Of the kidneys they are Of great service
Year: 1868




Dow, Jr., thus closes one of his patent ser
mons: my respected friends, many among
you who, to be self-satisfed, ought to be born
a handred years ago, and Others hundred
years hence. They appear to have been cast
upon the earth at tie wrong period, and IN a
wrong place, like ducks egg dropped by the
margin Of some muddy pool They ma no
food suited 10 their taste upon the sumptuouS
table spread before them. They had rather ell
ther go back and pick the bones of the past, or
stick their fingers in the unprepared dishes of
the future, than partakc of therich bounty that
the present provides. Such folks are born
both before and after their time and have no
business here at this exact period. However,
the fault is not theirs: and it is not my prov
ince to cast blame upon the parents. We
should all, my friends, bestow little thought
upon what has been and what is to be, but
make the best of what is, and JOY, peace and
contentmcnt shall be ours in the end. So mote
it be ~
Year: 1868

EVERYDAY PHILosorHY.-llans Patrick
OConner, formerly known by the nom de plume
of Beau Hackctt," contributed the following
TO the St. Louis Home Journal:


Never insure your life for the benefit Of wife
for A greater sum than ten thousand dollars
A widow with more money than that is a dan
gerous legacy to leave posterty.


The game of life is very much like
game Of cards. Tine deals, death cuts, and
every body is waiting for the last trump.


I think men drink in crowds because they
are afraid to drink by themselves. Itrequires
a good deal Of courage to stand up alone and
pour glass Of whiskey down your throat.


There are some inconsistencies in this world
that don't exactly understand Everybody
is anxious to go to Heaven, but nobody is in a
hurry aboutit.


Ifaman is without enemies l wouldn't give
ten cents for his friends. The man who can
please everybody hasn't got sense enough to
displease anybody.


When an acquaintance says, How are
you ?" and pushes you by without waiting for
a reply, wouldn't if were in your place, fol-
low him more than a mile to tell him | was
we'll


a convenient way Of testing the affections OF
your intended is to marry another woman. II
she don't love you, you learn it at once.


Do unto other men as they would like to do
unto YOU. and they won't have enough money
in two weeks to hire a shirt washed.


The song Dear Mother, I've come home to
Die" always struck me as happy illustration
Of American assurance. Our young go abroad
to spend the hard earnings Of the old folks, and
when they are dead broke, return home to be
buried at the expense Of their impoverished pa
rents
Year: 1868

UNITED STATES CLAMs.-By the cable says
the Baltimore Sun, sth, we have full report
of a very important and certainly very able
debate in the British House Of Commons upon
the claims of the United States for indemnity
for the capture of the Alabama. Much Of the
best talent Of the House was enlisted, 10 pro-
mote a friendly understanding in regard to the
points at issue. Lord Stanley, speaking for
the government, gave assurance that the Queen
is ready to meet the United States provided
we waive the point as to whether Great Britain
was right or wrong in recognizing the South
ern States as belligcrents. That, It will be re-
membered is the rock on which the negotia-
tions heretofore were wrecked--but it is not
too much 10 hope now that, with the public
sentiment Of both countries Overwhelmingly on
the side of peace, some middle ground will be
found on which they may be renewed with
more success.
Year: 1868

CoMPosrTIoY FOR RooFISG OUT-HoUsEs.-
Let tar be boiled in an iron pot get charcoal
finely powdered, mix it with the tar by con-
stantly stirring il till the whole is reduced to
the state Of mortar, and spreading il upon n
boarded covering with a broad wooden trowel.
to the thickness Of one-fourth or fifth Of an
inch, it will become hard and durable. Neither
the beat nor cold Of this climate will affect IL
it is with this composition that the peasants Of
Sweden cover their houses.
Year: 1868

To PRESERVE HERBs.-All kinds Of herbs
should be gathered on a dry day, just before or
while in blossom tie them in bundles and
suspend them in dry, airy place with the
blossoms downward When perfectly dry
wrap the medicinal ones in paper and keep
them from the air pick of the leaves Of those
which are TO be used in cooking, pound and
sift them fine, and keep the powder in closely
corked hotfles
Year: 1868

IMPBoBABLE.-We are not authorized, but
we venture to deny the truth Of the report that
Barnum has telegraphed to Underwood to
know if he cannot, out of his extensive collec-
ton, furnish him substitute for the late la
mented Gorilla destroyed by the burning OF
his museum last Monday night. But we must
admit that it would not be bad stroke Of buSl-
ness for Barnum, in his misfortune, If be could
engage Underwood's whole mcnaserie to e1-
bibit for season in New York.-Rieh. Wing
Year: 1868

Firam Smith, lone Of the numerous Smith
family, an eccentric old. bachelor at Chester,
Mass. is having his sepulchre hewn in large
rock in that town. He pays man 500 TO
do mis- work, and by the stipulation the cave
Is even feet long, four wide, and four deep,
and after the coffin is put in the aperture will
be sealed up with marble slab and cement
Smith says he dosen't want mud to get around
his bones; he means to have dry place for
them.
Year: 1868

A Few HARD THEGs.-Experience has
taught men that it is


Hard to pay our debts.


Hard TO resist temptation.
Hard to love our enemies.
Hard to quit chewing tobacco.
Hard TO keep from eating too much.
Hard to drink liquor aud not be intemperate.
Hard to believe man you know to be a
liar.


Hard 10 turn the other cheek when VIC are
struck
Year: 1868

HAppISEss.-He cannot be an unhappy man
who has the love and smiles of woman to
accompany him in every department OF life
The world may look dark and cherries without
enemies may gather in bis path-but when
he returns to his freside, and feels the tender
love of woman, be forgets his troubles, and is
comparatively happy man. he is but half
prepared for the journey of life who takes not
with him that friend who will forsake him in
no emergency-who will divide his sorrows,
increase his joys, lift the veil from his heart,
and throw sunshine amid the darkest scenes
Not that man can be miserable who has such
companion be he ever so poor, despised, and
trodden upon by the world.
Year: 1868

Druggists &c ApOthecaries' A


A RE prepared TO furnish everything in their
Y line upon the most desirable terms. They
have in store the largest and most complete stock
of goods they have ever offered to the public
Thnir stnck nf
Year: 1868

Patent and Family Medicines is endless in variety
They would call the attention of Country Physi-
clans to such articles as used in their practice
feeling confident they make it to their interest
to buy from them instead Of going to Baltimore.


Their stock of
Year: 1868

The political quidnuncs are all busy in
making up Cabinet for Old Ben Wade, the
prospective occupant of the Presidential chair.
But they unaccountably omit from every list Of
Cabinet officers the name of Horace Greeley.
Now, to leave Horace Greeley out of the Cabi-
net would be to leave out main spoke of the
wheel Horace Greeley is as indispensable a
part Of the new programme as Ben Wade him
self, and there can be no peace until the white
coated philosopher is appointed Postmaster
General.


One of our travelling correspondents, in de-
scribing an interview last summer with Mr..
Fillmore, related how warmly the ex-Presi-
don't, inspired by Widow Clicquot, eulogized
old man Blair as the greatest man In the
world. The same high estimate of Horace
Greeley is entertained by Old Ben wade who
pronounces him one OF the wsest men OF the
age. Pity as we may the President IN future
for his iniatuation in holding so extravagant
an opinion, and the administration that cannot
dispense with such Postmaster General, it is
obvious that Ben Wade and Horace Greeley,
the "two remarkable men" who have so long
constituted by themselves a model mutual ad-
miration society, are as inseparable as the
Siamese twins Horace has blown Bens
trumpet in season and out of season for these
many years. In fact, Horace Greeley has been
the making Of Ben Wade, and Ben Wade will
prove ungrateful indeed If on his accession to
power he shall fail to be the makingof Horace
Greeley. BY all means let Greeley be Post
master General.
Year: 1868

II has for some time past been publicly and
on good authority stated that France and the
world were to be favored with a new pamphlet
from the pen Of the Emperor Napoleon himself,
or written at his direction or under his inspi-
ration. From cable despatch which we
printed in yesterdays HERALD we learned that
the pamphlet has been published, and that,
though the Napoleonc authorship is denied, it
is said to be traceable to the Secretary Of the
Emperors Cabinet. The object Of the PAM
phlet, we are told, is to prove that Napoleonism,
or sC@sarism, in It's modern French sense, is
the Towering, or rather fruit, of the most per-


feet form of constitutional government In
other words, so far as we can gather its pur-
port from the telegram, the pamphlet declares
that the French people have elected to be gov


erned on those principles which have come to
be identified with the name and family Of
Napoleon, and that the present Emperor, ever
mindful Of the votes which raised him to and
established him in his present position, has
fully justified the trust reposed in him and in
the family of which he is the recognized head.


Appearing at this particular moment, the
pamphlet has a special value. 1t is only a few
weeks since the Count de Paris-chief Of the
Oreanists, prospective chief of the legitimists,
and thus heir presumptive to all the claims Of
all the French Bourbons-publshed long let
ter in one of the French journals, in which he
very clearly showed that he was ''biding" his
time, and that he was not without the hope of
yet ascending the throne of his fathers. Now
that the Emperor is growing old he is
very naturally scanning the future and
balancing probabilities. The Napoleonic
dynasty is safe enough so long as he is
spared to watch over its interests. He knows
how to manage the French people better than
all the Guizots and all the Theirs and oil the
Lamartines who ever made the attempt. Judg-
ing, indeed, from what he has done and is now
doing, we should conclude he must have some
Jew blood in his veins. He is the only living
ruler who can control the great jew fnancicrs,
and who, in point of administrative ability, can
be lkened to Disraeli. Disraeli, Napoleon,
Bismarck are the three great men Of the
day. The first is avowedly Hebrew of the
Hebrews the other two must, from some unre-
membered source, have inherited some Hebrew
blood. Able, however, as Napoleon Ia, his
administration must come to y close. With
conspirng Bourbons beyond the empire, and
with conspirinu republicans within, Napoleon 8
death would place the dynasty in peril. An
infant Prince and an Empress Regent would
seem feeble barrier against the attack of the
enemy. 1t is his object, therefore, by all the
Year: 1868

The rival opera houses in this city are in the
same condition as the Drew and Vanderbilt
parties are in the Erie muddle, each trying to
and to secure for itself all the available
materials necessary for Italian opera. Various
conflicting rimors are abroad as to the schemes
of the one hundred and ninety-nine and half
stockholders ofthe Academy, and 1t is supposed
that Maretzek will act as lieutenant for Kings
land in the same manner as Dick Schell does
for Vanderbilt. Pike and Harrison have
hoisted the flag Of ''no surrender over the
walls of the opera house on the west side, as
Drew and his associates have done In New
Jersey, and they dare the entire Irving place
force to dislodge them. At the same time
these managers should beware Of treachery in
their own camp, and remember that their one
hundred and ninety nine and half opponents
will try every plan to induce their artists to
secede from them. The last season of Italian
opera at Pixies, which was unfortunately
broken In upon by an Uncle Toms Cabin enter
tainmcnt, and which deprived Messrs. Pike and
Harrison of the present week, was so uniformly
successful that the guardians of the Catacombs
became frightened and resolved to bestir them
selves in order to win back their old manager
and bis troupe. As affairs stand at present
the entire operatic situation seems to be in a
muddle, but with energy, perseverance and
close attention to the schemes Of their unscru-
pulous antagonists there is every prospect o'
success for the west side. If the contest ter
inmates in this manner, nothing remains for
the stockholders but to convert their building
into cotton mill or dry goods store or sell i
/ to Pike for distillery.
Year: 1868

GRANT on NIGGER SUFFRAGE. There are
great many efforts being made in various
radical quarters to prove that General Grant
is in favor of negro suffrage Now, we
do not believe it, and we will not be-
leve IL until General Grant comes out and
states it himself We hope some one will take
him copy Of this issue Of the HERALD and
show him this paragraph. lie may ''talk
horse" when he reads it, as il is said he did
to Ben Wade, but it will do bin no harm to
read it, nevertheless.
Year: 1868

ALASKA AND ST. THoMAs.-The considera-
ton Of the required appropriation of seven
million two hundred thousand dollars for the
commodious Russian territory Of Alaska still
hangs fire in the House Committee on Foreign
Affairs and pay day, it is suspected, will
probably go by (the time is nearly up now)
without the production Of the cash. We pre-
sumo, however, that the Czar In this event,
will survive his disappointment, and that in
England he will find customer who will
produce the cash for those warus, seal, cod
and salmon fisheries, to say nothing of those
bears and beavers of Alaska. In the next
place, the treaty with Denmark for the
sum of seven million five hundred thousand
dollars for that interesting little volcanic
island of ST. Thomas hangs fire in the
Senate, and the probability is that the volcanic
exhibitions under and over and all around
said island last fall have taken the conceit out
of Senator Sumner and his Committee on
Foreign Relations. Should this treaty 60 by
the board the King of Denmark will he
grievously disappointed, and will probably
have to call upon his royal English relatives
for the needful whercwith to meet the cOntin-
gent expenses, such the millincrs bills
chargeable to the royal marriages of his pretty
daughters.