smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1869

A good joke is told of a preacher
i in Nebraska, who had dined with
a friend Just before afternoon SER
vices Asit happened, this friend
occasionally luxuristed in a smile
of the ardent, and sometimes car
ried a morocco-covered flask In
his overcoat pocket. BY mistake
the minister took the friends over
coat on his departure, and, walk
ing into the pulpit, began the ex-
ercises without dofing the gar
ment, it being rather chilly in the
room.


Looking very ministerially over
his congregation from behind his
Ispectacles, he began drawing from
bis pocket, as he supposed, his
hymn book, with the Introductory
remark that the congregation
would sing from a particular page
which he had selected beforehand.
The minister held the supposed
book up in full sight of the con-
.gregation, and attempted to open
it sideways, but it was no CO.
The situation was realized In a
moment, but alas! too late.


His reverence was dumbfounded,
the audience giggled, and the
whole scene was made ludicrous
by a fellow in the back part of the
congregation, not altogether too
sober, who 'drawled out:


"Say, mister, kin we all (hic)
jine in that ar hymn"
Year: 1869

Appleton's Journal makes th,


following charge against New


York tea houses


Within few years a large mum


berof tea companies have sprung


up in the city, which claim to i'm


port direct from China, to furnish
superior article at reduced rates


and which advertise largely al
over the country. We are assur
ed by those claiming to know
that several of these tea estab
lishments are organized frauds up.
Cd the people, that they use the
leaves of the Camela, which Sc
closely resemble genuine tea
that they are frequently mistaken
for them by botanists; that they
largely import and palm off upon
purchasers Chinese '4ie tea;" that
they use the leaves of ash, plum
and other trees, and mingle them
with good tea; and furthermore,
that they redry and color genuine
tea leaves that have once been
used, or have been damaged by
water, &c. There is one of these
companies which we are told,
does nothing else but purchase
damaged cargoes or chests Of
tea, and then dries it on the
roofs of certain buildings not a
thousand miles from where we
are now sitting. The drying pro-
cess having been completed, a
small quantity Of a superior arti-
Gle is added to the damaged in or
der to give flavor; and it is then
done up in packages for distribu-
ton all over this country. Those
who are accustomed to patronize
these tea establishments would
certainly do well to analyze and
test the quality OF the article
which is dispensed to them.
Year: 1869




regiment of hesitating men. A
little nerve, GOODNESS, pluck, and
decision have carried men safely
through difficulties insurmounta.
bic. In all probability no persons
possess nerve to a greater degree
than do bank robbers and persons
OF that class, who live not by their
labor but by their wits, and op-
erations which succeed from bold
ness. Not long since man stood
in Wall-street bank, with a bag
in his hand and containing S1O,-
900 in gold. A gentlemanly
looking man, with his hat off,
said to the one who held the gold:
"Let me hett it; I'll guess within
half an ounce of It's weight"


The person addressed mechani-
cally handed the bag to the ap-
plicant, who at once ran out doors,
and was soon lost in the crowd,
while the loser never saw it again.
On seeing him with his hat off, he
thought him a clerk in the bank.
A gentleman standing by saw the
thief remove his hat and hang it
on hook, when he too supposed
it to be some one connected with
the bank, and said nothing.


Some years since a person en-
tered the Importers and Traders
Bank, New York, in broad day
light, took off his coat, put on a
duster, stuck a pen behind his ear,
and then walked deliberately past
clerks and tellerS, and cashier land
pushing the president aside, who
stood talking with some of the d.
rectors, entered the vault, and
helped himself to the largest pack
age of money he could find, and
walked out unmolested, no one
suspecting anything was wrong
till he was off and out of sight.


A few months ago in New York
a hearse drove up to the door of
a mansion. A genteel young
man rang the bell and inquired for
the man that lived there, but he
was down town. He said the
hearse contained a coffin, in which
were the remains of the daughter
Of the occupant Of the house. who |
has just died at school in Connect. |
cut. The servants at the house |
had heard nothing of the matter, |
but helped the driver bring the |
coffin into the parlor, and, at the
of the young man, |
who said he was q teacher, sent |
one of their number to the gen.
,leman's place of business to in
form him Of the sad news. The |
.eacher remained in the house to
ell him the particulars, but when
he man arrived the teacher had
zone, and about $4,000 worth of
jewelry, kept in bureau caskets,
lad gone with him. The coffin
vas opened, and found to be filed
with beech log.
Year: 1869

At Mount Clemens, Mich,. a.
boat seven years ago, two sisters
in-law got into a dispute over a
baking which they were engaged
in and vowed never to speak to
each other again. They have
lived in the same house since then,
eating at the same table, and en-
gagged in work side by side; but
they have never once addressed a
remark to each other, or in any way
recognized each others presence.
Year: 1869

White gun-powder is made in
Russia, TO which the explosive quail
ity is impaired only at the last mo-
ment of manufacture, and so may
be withheld until the powder is
needed for shipment,
Year: 1869

A little boy at Troy was recent
ly hauled out of kettle of boiling
water and souzed into q pail Of ice
water, and it's an open question
whether the child was scalded OF
frozen to death.
Year: 1869

A sharp old gentleman travel
ing out West, got a seat beside his
wife in crowded car, by reques-
ting the young man who sat beside
her to "p please watch that woman
while LIE went into another car,
AZ she had fits"
Year: 1869

ror to the same was the war in which we
were engaged; for it was then the darkest
and most hopeless period of it. To many at
that time, and especially on that long-to-De-
remembered day, the struggle for cur Liberty
seemed to be entirely hopeless, and the night
of despair settled upon them. But there
were those who took courage from the old
maxim, that the hour before the dawn was
the darkest, believing the strange and por-
tentous gloom was but the prelude to the
bright dawn of Liberty and Independence
that was soon to follow. And their faith
was strengthened and their hopes encouraged
by the bright and beautiful morning that sue
ceeded the dark and gloomy day. We have
heard severa. persons say that they never
knew more beautiful morning in the month
of May. The sky was clear, the air pure and
the sunbeams exceedingly bright. Such a
bright morning was not expected: for the
previous night was the darkest they had ever
witnessed at any season of the year.
Year: 1869

KTHE DARK DAY.-On the 18th of May


just so years ago this day thick darkness
spread over all New England like a funeral
pail, and thousands of people believed that
the last day had come and this world had at
last found an end. Public sentiment at that
time was strongly tinctured with supersti-
tion and men, women and children were
much alarmed. We have heard many per-
sons speak of the dark day who witnessed it.
Some of them really believed that ''the sun
had withdrawn his light and the stars had
W axed their shining" And what added ter
Year: 1869

"DIsoRDERLY."-The Worcester Spy makes
merry over the Detroit Magistrate who COM
mitted the Maine man who had retired peace
fully to a hollow stump near that city and
came out of retirement only on physical COM
pulsion, as "a disorderly person." The Spy
thinks that if the judgment of this Dogberry
Of the West is to be regarded as a criterion,
Detroit must be one of the most quiet places
on the continent.
Year: 1869

AT hospital in Palermo recently, two as
sistants offered to have their veins opened and
their blood introduced into the system of pa
tient who was rapidly and hopelessly sinking
from a loss of the vital fluid. This treatment
was successful, and the patient recovered
Technically the process is known as the trans
fusion of blood, but it has rarely been resorted
to. If it can be successfully introduced in
common practice it will open new and rich
field not only for the medical faculty but for
the romancers, who will have splendid op-
portunity for the display of heroic devotion on
the part of lovers.
Year: 1869

Mary Gunner mes in the New York Intte-


pendent.


3etf are beautiful to-day many woT-
ship you You will wake some morning
and find your beauty gone, your wol.
shippers kneeling at other shrines. You
have power tO-day--so much it seems to
you the world, your world at least, could
not get on without you. Some day you
will come suddenly to the knowledge
that your power has gone, your burdens
have dropped upon other shoulders, your
honors are worn by other men and the
world, even your world, gets ON without
you. Life offers no lessons to mortals so
hard to learn, no lesson hiding i'm it's
truth so keen sting to self-love as this,
that your prime has passed, and that
you must make room for others, that the
flowers of your genius are in their de-
cline; that you must wait in the shadow,
while the younger bask in the splendor
that you have left behind. How few
are ever willing to admit that there time
has come to learn it. Thus it is that we
see so many refuse to grow old gracefully.
Instead of wearing their years as a crown
mellow and beautiful in the light of
their declining sun, they deck grey hairs
and wrinkles with hideous counterfeit
of youth. This is why we see. writers
writing on regulations which they have
long outlived; writing after they have
ceased to have anything to say, except
to repeat what they have said better
years and years ago. This il why we
see men, once in power, still imagining
themselves important, and in garrulous
and important speech evoking the ghosts
of dead reputation in the councils of
vnunOQF man
Year: 1869

A FEARFUL LEGEND.-There is a le-
gend among the peasants of Dalamatia,
OF fell and malicious spirit which at
certain periods of great prosperity,
emerges from its lair within the earth,
to blast The crops, perturb the minds OF
rulers, and descend to individual and
petty malice. The legend goes, that
this demon, who always is at first un-
seen, decoys the victim who wanders
near his neighborhOod, with a voice of
such wondrOus sweetness, and accents
30 muslcally toned, that the hearer is
unable to resist its spell, aud walks in
sensibly toward his ruin. Step by step
il leads him fron the true road into the
mazes of the forest; and finally, when
night has overtaken him, and he is ex-
hausted by his efforts, leaves him
alarmed and trembling 1T the dead sea
Of silence which wells darkly all around
him. While he stands thus mute with
terror, he feels an icy hand press upon
his forehead, then pass down his cheek,
and finally it is thrust into his bosom
and laid upon his heart, with u touch
SO cold as to almost freeze IL in his body.
AS he is thus transfixed, the unseen
hand is gradually Withdrawn and the
stricken victim beholds before him the
pale demon of the CLINE, with his finger
Ievelled, and its strong eyes riyited con-
sumingly within his own, until he sinks
into insensibility before the unearthly
gaze. From that moment he is srnitten
with a hateful atrophy; his youthful
bloom gives place to u ccnsumptive
pallor, ana hopeless, nervous. speech
less, he Is soon carried to the tomb.


Image of soul left Of God to become
the victim of the evil one! The unseen
hand has done its work! Its deadly
touch has been stealthily laid upon the
heart The stricken victim lives, but
it Is yet ead!-Nothing will arouse him
and recover him! He has sunken into
q fatal insensibility!
Year: 1869

The water of Salt Lake is SO dense
that a man cannot sink in it. The edi-
tor of the Corinne Reporter demon
strates this by standing upright in the
water, and without the least motion
could not sink to the chin. He could lie
on the water, stand in it, take almost
any position, and still he would float,
and could not sink. 1t is necessary af-
ter swimming in this briny water to
rinse off with fresh, for the salt of the
water condenses on ones person, and
leaves one looking as if he had been
powdered with chalk.
Year: 1869

TOUCHING Incl DENT.-A tall chimney


had been completed and the scaholding


WAS being removed. One man remained


OH the top to superintend the process
A rope should have been left him to
descend by. His wife was at home


washing, when her little boy burst in


with Mother! Neither! they've for
gotten the rope and he's going to throw


himself down" She paused-her lips
moved in the agony of prayer-and she
rushed forth. A crowd was looking up
the poor man who was moving round
and round the narrow cornice, terrified
and bewildered. He seemed as if at any


moment he might fall or throw himself
down in desprir. His wife from below
cried out, wait . bit, John"-the man


became calm-'.taks off thy stocking,
unrxvel the worsted;p aud he did So
'.Now tie the end to q bit of mortar and
lower gently" Down came the thread
and Bit of mortar, swinging backward
and forward. Lower and lower il de-
scended, eagerly watched by many
eyes. 1t was now within reach, and
was gently seized by one of the crowd.
They fastened some twine to the thread.
"Now pull up" The man got hold of
the twine. The rope fastened on. ''Pull
away again." He ut length seized the
rope and made it secure. There were O
few moments of suspense. and then,
amidst the shouts OF the people, he
threw himself into the arms of his wife,
sebbing: "Thou have saved me, N.Y.
The worsted threads was not despaired
it drew after 1t the twine, the rope, the
rescue! All, my friend, thou mayest be
sunk very low in sin and woe, but there
is q Thread of Divine love that comes
from the Throne of Heaven and touches
thee. Seize that thread. 1t may be
small, but it is golden. Improve what
you have, however little, and more
shall be given you. This thread of
love, if you will not neglect it, shall lift
even you up to God and glory. "Who
hath despised the day of small things?"
Year: 1869

LovELINEss.--It is not your neat
dress. your expensive shawl, or yeur
pretty fingers that a tracts the attention
of men of sense. They look beyond
these. 1t is the true lovelines- of your
nature that wins and continues 10 re-
tain the affections of the heart. Young
ladies sadly miss it who labor to improve
their outward looks, While they bestow
not single thought on their minds
Fools may be won by gewgaws and
fashions bic shewy dresses, but the wise
and substantial are never caught by
such traps. Let modesty be your dress.
Use pleasant and agreeable language,
and though you may not be courted by
fop and sot, the good and truly great
will love to linger in your footsteps.
Year: 1869

WOMEN AND WORK.-The New York
Star diseourses very well on this subject,


Women may hold meetings and talk
and prate of wrongs till the crack of
doom, but this matter will not be helped
until they prove that they honor labor
for labor's sake, and learn to show no
less respect, at any rate, to the girl who
binds shoes for living than to the fine
lady who rolls through the Park in her
carriage. Labor must be honored in
the first place, and then women must
be taught to fill places of labor with
honor. Girls must be taught that it is
as disgraceful and contemplate for
them to loll and laze about the house as
it would be for their brothers to idle and
lounge in the streets. y --.
Year: 1869

Two committees from Y irginis will be in
constant session in Washington till the
question Of the admission Of the State ID
disposed Of. One, the conservative, urges
that the State be Immediately admitted to
representation in Congress, and the other
that she be kept out--the latter remarka-
bic set Of men pretending to have at heart
the interest of common wealth of which
they are bona f8e citizens. One of fam
lily Of brothers and sisters urging that the
whole family be kept out Of their inheri
tauce, and that stranger be kept in, would
be no more unnatural.
Year: 1869

Playing the piano in Russia is regarded
as an essential part of education, and almost
every house possesses one. There are so
many at St Petersburg that it has been
called St. Pianopolis. There are no less
than eight hundred male and three thous.
and female teachers of the instrument in the
Year: 1869

A case is on trial in Boston, in which the
question to be decided i. whether the United
States Assessor can compel citizen,
charged with false return of his income, to
produce his private papers, or the books of
a corporation with which he may be con-
nacta0
Year: 1869

REELECTION OF THE ENGLISH MINISTER'S.


Twelve Of the new Ministers were reelected
on December 2 in each without opposition In re-
turning thanks for his election at Greenwich the Premier
dealt with several Of the leading topics Of the day
With respect TO reform, there two subjects
which coud not be overlooked. First the acts OF intmi
daOn WI ch bad chaacerZed many or the recent con
tests had led min to the belief that whether by
voting whatsoever means, the liberty OF the elector


be secured. Secondly, IL would be the duty Of the
Liberal Government forthwith 10 remedy the grievances
inflicted by the ratepayng clauses of the Reform act Mr.
Gladstone then passsd speak Of education. the
latiOns between capital and labor, and the public
penditure and while cauOnng his bearers not TO expect
that any administration could at deal with every
mediate reduction in the estimates. Taking the irish
church last he criticised the in which his policy
that there was Spy aD,iogy Whatever between the posi-
tOn OF the Established Church in England and the State
voice Of the people in the three Kingdoms.


At Birmingham Mr.. Bright entered fully into the rea'
for his taking office. and explained why he had pre-
ferred the Board Of Trade TO the Inda Office In speak
OF the Irish Church. he maintained that the time Tor
earnest and determined action lad come He reiOced
that the ballot had made so many converts anu deoSe
that government would deserve the confidence OF the
1T a smaller expenditure than 7O,0OO,00O year


Mr. GOsohcn. the President OF the POOrLaw Board,
hoped and bolyed that great improvements, both legsa
live and administrative were possible IN the department
which he had been called upon 10 preside.


Mr. Layard after expressing hope that there would
be reduction in the National expenditure spoke at
length on the Eastern question: and characterized Lord
etanleys speech at Lynn in the middle or NOYGDer as
one Of the Of the disturbed relations between


The law officers Of the crown were reelected at Ply
noun anu Etetgr & Ti Cgb tonb +" sea
OF Mr. GadstOne's majority as compact as well az
large and pointed out that the MAGNITUDE OF the
issues involved would be sufficient to make this question
occupy most Of the session. The Solicitor General
pressed hope that the constituencies In their anxiety
TO sec the irish Church controversy set at es would not
ose sight Of Importance Of land tenure the ballot
aud the education Of tho people.
Year: 1869

WHEAT.-This cereal, which, until it is
threshed and housed, is never free from cas-
ualtles of one kind or another, has, in this
section, we learn, been so much injured
within the last ten days that it is calculated
the crop has already been shortened one
half. First, the hard rains of week before
last washed all the bloom from the head,
and now, within the last few days, rust has
made its appearance on the plant, and made
great ravages upon it. So far only the white
wheat has been touched by it, and the dis
Year: 1869

IMrRovEMEST.-In pursuance of Z late
order of the Council, force has recently
been employed in grading Twenty-sixth
street between Main and Franklin SO as to
make it passable for wagons and carriages.
The work is now nearly completed.
Year: 1869

lOn all public or private sales Of real estate made
between the first day OF January and the first day
OF July the purchaser pays the taxes for the pre-
sent year, but all sales between the first day OF
July and the thlrty-h day Of December the
seller pays Them
Year: 1869

who visited Hollywood yesterday was va
riously estimated at from ten to fifteen
thousand. Whether there were more or
less, the cemetery was certainly well filled
from early morning until the shades of night
descended, and the quantity Of flowers dis
tributcd was unusually large. There need
be no fear rs yet that the observance of the
Southern Memorial Day will fall into dis
use. Surely it will not in our day.
Year: 1869

From the Columbia (S C) Phoenix, June 29.1


Mr.. EDIToR-Will you do me the favor 10 publish
the proceedings OF the Southern Historical Society,
which you will find enclosed They have been sent
TO me for publication In our State, with request
that should invite the cooperation of our people in
promoting the objects contemplated by the society.
These objects fully and ably set forth in the
oflcial circular that 1t Is only necessary for me TO
call attention 10 that paper and to express my hearty
concurrence in the measures 1t recommends. We owe
1t as sacred duty to our ancestry, the fathers of
that republic which exists now only in name; TO our
children, whose duty 1t will be TO re-estabsh civil
liberty this Continent, If they hope to escape
fate; and, above all, TO the memory OF our heroic
dead, that We should place upon record, where the
future historian OF our late war may find 1t, the true
facts relating to our unfortunate but glorious srug
gle. BY this means alone can we vindicate our prln
cpes, justify our cause, and preserve intact that
which alone can give value to hstory-truth. The
these noble objects in view, and they appeal so
directly to the heart OF every true IN the South
that they need only to be presented to be endorsed
As soon "a the constitution and bylaws Of the
society are sent TO me they shall be
published, when | hope that branch So
cIetles will be established In every district
of our State. In tue meantime, | invoke
In behalf or the society the aid ana cooperation OF
every man who reverea the ancient honor and re-
nown OF our State who cherishes q proper regard
for the great principles which have governed her In
the past who believes that these principles will yet
be triumphant, VINO wishes to vindicate the cause
for which we fought and who desires to preserve un
tarnished the memory OF those patriots who died for
tnat cause. WADE HAMPTON,


vice President Southern Historical Society.