Year: 1869

NO. II.


For more than forty years had giver
myself up to be the slave of this habit. Of


ten during that long period, when l felt the
temporary disgust of safety, which was a
daily experience, or when l was troubled
with misgivings that 1 was injuring my
health, perhaps entailing upon myself some in
durable disease to plague nay declining years,
or thought of the money spent in gratifying
my appetite, which might be expended more
uSefully in some other way, had some long
ings for deliverance, and made resolutions
accordingly, which ended in nothing. l
envied those who had never formed the hab-
it, or who had emancipated themselves from
it; | never, however, took decided stand.
l was held. helplessly bound in the chains
of habit. But the time came when | was
placed in such circumstances that | was
forced to decisive action. An increasing
hoarseness aroused me to the fact that was
in danger of losing my voice. AS | am a
preacher of the Gospel, | was terribly exer-
cised at this prospect. l had not caught a
cold, and therefore, the hoarseness was not
caused by that, which made it the more to
be dreaded l hoped, nevertheless, that I
would gradually get better of it, yet every
Sabbath the conviction was forced upon me,
that instead of getting better, l was gradu-
ally getting worse. At last, one day, it was
with extreme difficulty that I could get
through the exercises of public worship. /
became so hoarse that l could hardly be
heard, and l felt, that every utterance I
made, gave pain to my hearers. 1t is un-
necessary to say how felt, when | could no
longer preach the Gospel, and lead the de-
votions of the people of God in the sanctu-
ary.


l determined to seek the best medical ad-
vice without delay. I anticipated that the
physician would prescribe strict hygienic
treatment, that he would use powerful revul-
sive remedies, rubifacients, blisters, perhaps,
even seton; that he would make some Sc
we're local applications, but things turned
out very differently from my anticipatiOns.
The physician l consulted no sooner looked
at my throat and saw its infamed condition
than, as the very first step in his treatment,
he interdicted the use of tobacco. 1t was
acting as constant irritant to the infamed
parts, and the giving it up was a sine qla
non in order to any further treatment
Chewing was the principal form in which l
used tobacco. smoked once a day, and
chewed all day long. | had always been
possessed with the idea that chewing was far
less irritating to the throat than smoking. |
caught at the idea directly and hopefully,
and told the Dr. that would give up the
smoking, which was doubtless doing so much
mischief. To my dismay the DR.. answered,
''chewing is far worse than smoking; it irri-
tates the fauces more, you must give it up,
if you would get well" "Why Dr. re-
monstrated, 81 have been chewing tobacco
more than forty years, and how can l give it
up" "You are preacher of the Gospel"
he replied, sand the matter has come to this
point, that you must give up chewing tobac-
co, or you must give up preaching" l said
nothing, but was disposed to doubt the truth
of this ex-cathedra deliverance, and to refuse
to accept the horn of the dilemma, he had
thrust before me. But reflected that the
DR.. stood high in his profession, and that he
might possibly speak truly. If l persisted
1 might incapacitate myself from ever again
preaching the Gospel. The idea occurred
forcibly to me, that it would be dreadful
thing, and what would speak very little for
my religion, if I should be willing to aban
don Divine calling for the qualification of
awretched appetite. l saw clearly that the
choice was placed before me, of the enjoy
ment of an inveterate, artificial love of a
sensual thing or the preaching of the truth
of God to the perishing. Still it was with
fear and trembling entered upon the Strug-
gle. l doubted much whether l had suffi.
cient self.control and perSiStency of purpose
to maintain a conflict which would continue
for days to increase in difficulty and fierce
ness. But l was pressed into position,
from which there was no way of escape,
"give up chewing or give up preaching (;
give up your sensual indulgence, or give up
your high calling, as a minister of Jesus
Christ" must take one alternative or the
other, there was no possible evasion of the
matter. l left the Dr.'s Office in confused,
bewidered state; as looked up the street,
the light of the sun had to me sickly hue,
everything seemed to wear a saddened as
pect, just as things appear when one has met
with some great bereavement, or has been
overtaken by some unexpected misfortune.
| had in me the death-sentence of lifelong
habit, and before me was the prospect of a
wearisome struggle to carry it into effect
l cast away from me the means of indul-
gence, which l always carried in my pocket,
and as 1 was whirled rapidly home on the
iron.rail, 1 would every minute forget the
vow that was upon me, and find my hand
seeking, involuntarily, the receptacle where
always kept the means of indulgence, or
every now and then the stern reality of abb