Year: 1869

The man who wrote Home, Sweet. Home"
never had home. e.-Exchonge.


No, of course not All of his folks at home
say be didn't Nobody who writes about any
thing ever has it. If a man is out of anything
he Immediately goes and writes about it. No
one writes so many " headings" as the man who
is out of his head.


man who wrote - Old Arm Chair" never had an
arm chair in his life. The best he had was an
old spint-bottom chair without any back too II.


The anfhor of " Take Me Back to Switzer-
land, never was in Switzerland. The nearest
he ever came to il was sitting in the VIM. Tell
saloon eating Switzer kase. Kase why, that
was the best he could 10.


Mother, I've Come Home to Die" hasn't
spoken to the old woman for years, and wouldn't
go near the house. Besides he is of that
class of spiriiualists who don't believe they will
ever die. His health was never better. His
mother is nothing but mother-in-law, and she
is dead anyhow.


There is the author of "The Old Oaken
Bucket" too. There wasn't bucket. on the
whole farm water being drawn with tin pail
and cistern pole.


'' If had hut Thousand a Year" stated pri-
vately to his friends that he would be perfectly
contented with half that sum, as he was doing
chores inst for his board and three months
schooling in the winter.


The author of "Champagne Charley never
drank anything hut ten-cent whiskey.


The man who wrote " Mary had a Little Lamb"
knew very well it was nothing but lamb fry.


g Shells of Ocean is humbug. The plain
tive poet who represents himself wandering,
one summers eve, with pensive thought
sea-beat shore was raised in the interior of
Pennsylvania, and was never ten miles away
from home in all his life. " Gathered Shells"
did he? All the shells he ever gathered were
some egg shells back of his mothers kitchen.


q IIark hear the Angels Singing - spent
all his evenings in concert beer saloon. An
gels, indeed


The man who wrote the " Song of the Shirt"
hadn't shirt to his back, wearing a wampum
for the most part.


''Oft in the Silly Night" used to get
epree snd make the Silly night howl till day
brcak.


The author of "We Met by Chance" knew
very well it was arranged beforehand. He had
been weeks in contriviug it-and she admired
his contrivance.


The author of 81 Know a Bank" etc, didn't
know one where he conld get his note discounted.
The only check he ever held Z" white
check" in faro bank. He never had red
check in all his life.


"What are the Wild Waves SayingH' knew
very well they were reproaching him for run
ming away from Long Branch without paying his
hotel bill.


- W no VIII care TOT MOtOer NOW VIM, iu-
deed You took the old woman to the poor
house Just before writing the song, and there is
no one hut the Poormaster to care for her now.


q Hear me. Norma" was deaf and dumb. He
couldn't make her pa hear, nor ma.


AMY Mother Dear used to thrash the old
woman within an inch OF her life.


Let me kiss him for his Mother" got mad
because his mother wouldn't have him, and
whipped her little boy in an inch of his life.


al dreamrt Dwelt in Marble Halls" used to
cheat at marbles when bow and his dream was
n horrid nightmare brought bv remorse at
the recollection of fraudulent marble hauls.


I'm saddest when I Sing" was tickled al
most to death when invited to. - Cincinnati