smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1861

A NOBLE REPLY.-A gentleman from one
of the "Border States" has a son on board
the Steamer Harriet Lane, now of Charles
ton. He is young man of fine talents and
the highest cultivation. A few days since
he wrote to his father, inquirisg what
course he should pursue in case his own
Stale seeded, TO which his noble hearted
father replied "DIy son, stand By the
glorious stars and strips as long as there is
breath in your body" That father is not
of the Republican patty" but true patri-
OF, who would not see this magnificent
fabric dissolved but would stand by the
Union at all hazards. He would have that
flag which has been sustained by strong
hands and stout hearts, which, amid the
din of battle, has waved proudly in The
breeze, protected by our brave sons, ard
these would sooner shed their hearts blood
than see it lowered into the hands of All
enemy. II has been wet with the tears of
The widow and the faiherless and the wind
ing sheet of the soldier on the field of bai,ls


1.-THE standard of gallant band,
Year: 1861

Uncle Toby says ii is a favorite dodge of
young and fascinating widows, and young
widows are always fascinating, TO get you
TO look into the feminine eye to discover
the particle of dust that is irritating that dell
icate organ, but the man who looks is
sure "goner." Handsome girls inclined TO
hirt do not resort to that use exactly 10 en-
trap fellow, but they will manage to get
you to call them Cousin and under this
very lender, but assumed relationship. they
will play the very deuce with ones unso-
phisticated affections and cozen you at last.
One can get along so rapidly in love making
under the cloak of pretended Cousiuship,
for you can make the most ardent protesia-
tlons and show the most assiduous atten-
tions, it being understood that you are in
fun you know-only keeping up the char
acer OF Cousin. Oh the untold mischief
that has been caused by youths reckless
ly conseniing 10 be Cousin to a confirmed
fiirt. 1t is very pleasant at first, we grant
you. You call TO see your new relative,
and she meets you with smile and blush
that make her eyes look the brighter, ex.
claiming-"Oh. am so glad 10 see you,
dear Cousin" Then how bewitchingly she
laughs at the joke and how rapidly you be-
come euiranced. You salute her good night
with "Adieu, sweet Coz and then laugh
as if the kiss you had received in joke
wasn't going TO kept you staring wide
awake all night in downright earnest


You are bewiIdered by the rapid manner
in which everything appears TO be advan-
cling, and some fatal night, overcome by the
combined influence of moonlight and a
brandy cock tail, you fall upon your knees
and declare your love in straiEs particular
ly turtle dovey 10 your pretended Cousin,
who (being fliri is tired OF the farce by
this time) draws herself up with offended
dignity and assures you in a tone that
brings you at once TO Jour senses and your
feet that "you are presumirg altogether 10
much on a Jest, Mistsr Jones r' This is a
clincher and if you are not ninny you will
be very careful how you call bewiching
firt "Cousin" agair..
Year: 1861

A JoKE.-On one occasion, two or three
friends came down for days shooting and
as they often did, in the evening they rowed
out into the middle of the little lake in an
old punt. They were full of spirits and
had played off one or two practical jokes,
ill, on getting out of the boat, leaving him
last, one of them gave it a push, and out
went my father into the water. Fortunate
ly it was the landipg- place and the wafer
was not deep, but be was wet through. Ii
was playing with edged tools 10 venture on
such tricks with him, and he quietly deter
mined to turn The tables. Accordingly he
presently began to complain OF cramps and
stitches, and at last went indoors His
friends, getting rather ashamed of their
rough fun, persuaded him to go TO bed,
which he did. His groans and complaints
increased so alarmingly, that they were
almost at their Wits ends what 10 do NV
mother had received quiet hint, and vas
therefore not alarmed, though much amused
al the terrified efforts and prescriptions of
the repented jokers. There was no doctor
10 be had Tor miles, and all sorts of queer
remedies were suggested and administered,
my farther shaking with laughing. while
they supposed he had got fever or ague.-
One rushed up with tea kettle OF boiling
waller hanging on his arm. another touered
under Tin bath and the third brought the
mustard. My father at length, as well as
he could speak, gave ou, in sepulchral
voice hat the was dying, and detailed
some most absurd directions for his will,
which they were all too much frightened TO
see the fun ot. At last he could stand it no
longer, and after hearing the penitent often
ders beg him 10 forgive them for their un-
fortunate joke, and 10 beseech him 10 be-
lieve in their remorse, he burst into per-
feet shout of laughing, which the thought
at FIRST delirious frenzy, but which Ultimate
ly betrayed the joke.
Year: 1861

REVOLUTIONS are but the thunder-storms
OF Justice. Civil war is necessary to try
the stamina of people. No nation ever
became truly great without passing through
this red ordeal 1t is but the efforts oil the
body polite 10 throw off The corrupt humors
which disturb its normal action. The re-
suit is the iestof strength. If ii becomes
chronic, then the disease has eaten too
deep; if the struggle is severe but final,
then the State rises rejuyenaied and rain.
Year: 1861

u"OH, pray let me have my way this
time % said a young gentleman TO his lady
love. "Well, Willie, suppose | must this
once, bui yon know that after we have mar
ried shall always have a Will of my own
Year: 1861

We learn that nothing up to this date has
been done by the War Department, in respect


to the guns made by DR.. Archer at his private
foundry at Bellona, except that, in reply to his
application for the balance of money due
on his contract, he was informed that the
money would be paid, when the guns were
delivered at Richmond according to con


tract. General Cameron has countermand


ed nothing, and has never given any or,
ders which could be countermanded. 1t is
simply case Of an old contract, which the
Year: 1861

KING CorToN.-The theory that Cotton is
King, and ought to be King, is a very pleasing
one to those who raise cotton, but there is
nothing to recommend it to favor in Maryland
and Virginia, where none is produced. The
plain farmers of those States are constantly
asking themselves what they have to gain by
establishing dynasty, of which they can only
be the subjects. No satisfactory answer has
yet been given to them.


The GulfState theory is to buy everything
in Europe, where all the cotton is to be sold /;
but this does not suit Kentucky and Virginia,
which sell hogs, cattle, wheat, and corn, to the
free States. Kentucky and Virginia want mar.
kets both ways, North and South, and home
market, as well as foreign one. The cotton
theory Of selling everything and buying every
thing on the other side of the Atlantic, does
not suit their case. The more they think Of
it. the better they will be satisfied that if there
must be cotton kingdom, those who raise no
cotton had better keep out of it. Ia Confed.
eracy, of which cotton is the basis and central
idea, and within which cotton is to be truly the
despotic power, the position of non.cotton.
producing State, can only be one of subordina.
ton, and that is q position which Virginia
does not relish.
Year: 1861

The Scientific American, in noticing u
new patent bier for lowering coffins into
graves, indulges in the following strain in
reference to patents:


"The life Of this age, most assuredly,
moves on patent inventions. The infant is
wrapped in linen which has been woven
on patent loom, from yarn spun upon n
patent frame, and he draws his first drop
of nourishment from his mothers breast
through patent nipple shield. The girl
fondles patent doll, the boy whris pat.
cnt top or plays with ball which is made
under one Of the most valuable patents Of
the age. In later life we put on French,
yoke shirt, which, with the rest Of clothes,
is sewed on patent machine, with patent
thread, by patent needle, which comes
enveloped in patent wrapper; and our
very boots are made of patent leather
We rise in the morning from patent clip
tic spring bed, undo the patent fastening Of
our windows, roll up our patent curtains,
open the patent locks of doors, which were
constructed by patent machinery, and 60
down to our coffee, which is made in pa
tent "Old Dominion" pot. We write with
one of Morton's pens, which we dip into
patent ink in a patent stand Thus, sur
rounded by patents, we pass our life, which
is filled with gorgeous dreams of making
splendid fortune by some patent inven.
ton of our own, till at last we are placed in
patent burial case, and lowered from q
patent bier into our final place Of rest
Year: 1861

PLAYED Our. "coil of the Anacon.
da." For the sake ofour common humani-
ty; for the sake Of sensitive nerves; for the
sake of our national reputation for origin
ality, deliver us from all further allusion to
that coiling anaconda. Invent or use any
other term for our grand army, but let his
big snakeship go. Say that the big eagle
is going to swoop upon the rebcls-that the
big mastiff will tear the confederates to
pieces, or that our big rhinoceros will trans
fix secession with his tusk say anything,
but don't compare our fine volunteer force
to the loathsome shape the Devil first as


Sumed .-.
Year: 1861

fW- The Editor of the Upton Iowa)
Democrat has struck lead Of Of common
sense which will carry him into the haven
of Matrimony, or if he be already in that
blissful abode will render his wife so Joy,
ously jubilant that not shirt button will
be missing for long, long time. We in,
dorse the philosophy of our contemporary
and second the motion he makes in the las,
sentences. Read him:


WoMEN-God bless the Women. Men
may "rail' about their hoops, red pett
coats, tiounces, painted checks, "monkey
jsckets," &c, as much as they please, they
cannot set as at enmity with them; not at
all. Men, you're as crazy as a set Of grey
haired bed bugs; what could you do with
out them? Let US come into the world as
scraggy, red-taced, homely, and cross as it
is in the power OF the Almighty to form us,
and who are the first to extend to us hand
of pity? Our mothers Women. They
are richly deserving Of more praise than
has ever been or ever can be given them
Were it not for women what could man be
lie could mt "be" at ALL 1t is through the
instrumentality Of women that man has an
existence. Then let us unite in their ele
vation and praise. Obey and cherish your
mother; love and contide in your sister :;
honor and respect your lady friends; and
love, cherish and protect your wife, and you
will glide over the rough waters of life and
not feel the effects OF the least ripple.
Year: 1861

VERY BAD.-Col. Kerrigan of N. York,
Member Of the House, appeared in his
place in Congress on the 9th in military
undress and sword If the civil authori-
ty Of the country ii lost and swords and
|epaulettes carry the authority in delibera-
tive assembly Of the Union, we have only
to turn to the history Of France, Of Spain
Of Mexico and Of the South American ma
tons to see where we are drifting to.


The ambitious Col. X. should have been
led out Of the Hall of the House till his
respect for the Government got the better
of his vanity.
Year: 1861

Gregor. AS soon as there is any news to
write will write it for the benefit of your
readers. You observe that Haskell and
Felt are rather small marks for Scceshers
to hit--and am thinking it will require a
"globe sight" to get their measure, but you
must remember those little fellows are
growing mighty fast now. But enough for
the present. m ." .f#


Yours in Camp, PRINTER.
Year: 1861

w- One half Of mankind pass their livcs
in thinking how they shall get diuner,
and the other in thinking what dinner they
shall get; and the first are much less in
jured by occasional fasts than the latter are
by constant fasts.
Year: 1861

The New Governor OF Virginia appointed
by the late Convention has called an extra
session OF the Legislature, to meet at Wheel
ing on Monday next. The meeting of this
body will be new thing in the history of
this country. 1t will be the first session of a
Legislature in a seeded State, under decree
OF the people, repudiating and deposing their
former Government on account of its treason,
and recognizing under the Constitution. The
presence of the loyal forces in Virginia have
enable the people of that State who pre-
served their allegiance to maintain their po-
sition and hold the Old Dominion to her
place in the Union. When Gov. Letcher
and his associates went over to secession, 1t
did not enter into their calculations that they
would be superseded by a new dynasty, that
would prevent them from striking from the
national flag the star that Washington and
his great compeers placed there They did
not take into the account that their own peo
pie, whom they were betraying, would ty
an assertion of the original powers vested in
them. repudiate their action, revoke their
commissions, and strip them of official trust
and authority. In their haste to destroy the
Union, they overlooked the loyalty west Of
the mountains, that had no sympathy with
secession, and that execrated the treason that
hurried Virginia into rebellion.


The meeting of this Legislature is the be-
ginning of u system which will sooner or
later be inaugurated in all of the seeded
States, the practical effect of which will be
the reconstruction of the Union upon its
original basis, through the agency of the
Loyalty still extant in them all There are
true men enough in Tennessee to form a State
Government, and when the Union forces
shall be advanced southwark down the val
ley of the Mississippi, a Convention of the
people, following the example Of Virginia
will construct a new State Government as an


integral part of the great American Republic
North Carolina will probably be next to fall
into line, and thus the process will go on, as
the national forces move southwark, until all
the States shall occupy their former position
in the Union.


It's scarcely to be presumed, however, that
jeff. Davis or Governor Lecher will regard
this action of Western Virginia with indif-
ference. The new Government is matter
of too much Importance, too significant as
precedent, and promises to be too serious in
results to allow of its being inaugurated
without..a struggle to prevent it, and we may
therefore look for the march Ct rebel army
in the direction of Wheeling 1t is due to
the people of that region that they should be
efficiently supported 10y United States troops.
They have suffered and hazarded too much,
and their action in favor of the Union is too
important to be neglected now. Whatever
forces may be sent against them should be
met by Government soldiers in sufficient
numbers to guarantee their perfect security,
The presence of General Mcclellan andi his
army is pledge to this eifect,-New Iorh
yIDieS ,Jitue 07
Year: 1861

HALLoAw calculated an ancient guardian
to his pretty niece as he entered the parlor
and saw her on the sofa, in the arms of
swain who had just popped the question aud
sealed it with kiss; whats the time of day
now p II should thank it was about half
past twelve" was the cool reply Of the joyful
damsel, "You see we are almost one"
Year: 1861

THE ENGAGEMENT AT sswALL's Porsr-Yes-
terday We gave an account Of the cannonade I'm
Hampton Roads On Sunday, the virginians in
the Meantime having mounted several guns, the
battle was resumed. From the Norfolk Day
Book (secession) Of Monday we CLEAN the follow
Ing details Of the latter engagement:


on saturday after the firing, the steamer Star
(Mcnucello) bitched on to buoy near the battery
where she remained until tho following day
The battery being on high sand bank the Of
ncers OF the Star were unable to see what mig bit
De going on In the former, and the secessionists
immedia ately set 70 work repairing damages


Three short 32pounders were carried down
from the city, and got in tolerable condition for
temporary use. Besides these, two 6inch field
drawn up in position, the whole concealed from
view of the enemy.


Sunday evening about four or five o'clock, a
small schooner from below passed up, and vixen
near The Star the latter fired a gun which passed
over the battery. 1t is not known positively
whether she nred at the schooner or at the mai.
teiyi though IL Is asserted by some that the
schooner was acting In the capacity Of lookout
Tor the steamer and had sent boat alongside of
her before she fired the gun. The idea is that
the schooner got as near the fort az posi- BILE and
sent man up on her mast head to spy into the
1ort, those inside being unconscious Of what was
going on, and deeming her a friend However
the hFss gun was taken az a banter. and the bat.
terry answered IL, with much spirit and IA fditv
az convenience would allow, the second ball wa
understand, taking effect in her rigging muc b





for some considerable time by both the steamer r
and the battery.


The two rifle cannon. II 10 said done the most
execution, she'll from one Of which, tt 10 re.
ported, burstsd on striking the steamers rigging,
though II Is not known whether II proved fatal,
The steamer was struck in her hull several times
nearly amidships, and one hole, we understand,
was Knocked into her side large enough for a
hour barrel to enter. The steamers battery was
finally slenced, and about that time the two little
steamers, the Yankee and Young America, came
up, both of which fred few balls at the fort
They all three then started or down the river
towards Old Point.


The shot and she'll from the steamers few over
the battery, many of them striking a mile In the
rear. One shell bursted near the battery without
injury. piece of it, weighing four or five
pounds, we saw last night. The tops of the pine
trees in the neighborhood were pretty we'll cut
down by tie shst and she'll and the boughs and
spiinteTs were scattered about with a good deal
OF activity, though with no bad results exeept
the scratching Of the hand of one of the staff Of
fcers who was present


During the cannonadng some Of the infantry
sailed out on the beach and discharged their
small arms at the Monticello she being what was
considered at the time within range


The Day Book says no one in the battery was
hurt save one man, whose ancle was injured by
the recoi! Of large gun.
Year: 1861

VERMosr.-Senator Foote is here, urging upon
the War Department the acceptance OF two Ver
mont regiments, which are enlisted for the war
and which are now In camp, fully armed and
equipped, and ready for march. in addition to
these two regiments end one now at Fortress
Monroe, the State Is organizing four more The
Legislature Appropriated one million of dollars
for the war. Senator Foote says that every man
and every woman in Vermont is ready to enlist,
and that the people will spend their last dollar,
to any enemy, foreign or domestic.
Year: 1861

ExIsTENoE.--It is an unqnestionable fact
that those who are equally acquainted with,
and equally capable of appreciatlng and en-
jOying both, do give most marked prefer
ence to the manner OF existence which EN-
plOys their higher faculties. Few human
creatures would consent to be changed into
any of the lower animals for promise Of
the fullest allowance of beasts pleasures;
no intelligent human being would consent
TO be fool, no instructed person would be
an ignoramus, no person of feeling and con-
science would be selfish aud base, even
though they should be persuaded that the
fool, the Ounce, or the rascal is better sat-
isied with his lot than they are with theirs.
They would not resign what they possess
more than he for the most complete salts
faction of all the desires which they have in
common with him. II they ever fancy they
would, il is only in cases of unhappiness
no extreme, that to escape from it they
would exchange their lot for almost any
other, however undesirable to their own
eyes. A being Of higher facualties requires
more to make him happy, is capable prob
ably of more acute suffering, and certainly
accessible to IL at more points than one OF
an inferior type; but in spite of these la.
bilities, he can never really wish to sink in.
to what he feels to be lower grade of ex-
istence.
Year: 1861


AN ORDINANCE, PROVIDING FOR
II the construction ofa sidewalk Pine and Church
streets


The Trustees Of e CITY Of Necada do ordain foIlOlW:
SECTION l. II shall be the duty of the property
holders on the eastery side of Pine street and the
southerly side of Church street from the Of
Pine and Commercial to the corner Of Church and
Main streets, on or before the first day of January,
1852, to construct a sidewalk in front of their
property.


SIC. 2. Said sidewalk shall be on the grade Of the
streets Of uniform width, and shall be constructed
under the direction and supervision of the City
Marshal


SEC. 3. Should any property holder on Pine and
Church streets, between the termn specified in
the first section of this ordnance neglect or refuse
to construct the sidewalk in front of his her prop
erty required it shall be the duty of the Marshal
to let ont contract for having the work done, and
the property along the line thereof shall be held
sponsible for the reasonable expense of the same.
Passed November Goth, A. D., 1861


CHAS. kENT, President.
JAS, MONROE, Clerk pro tenn.
Year: 1861

In the great reaction that is taking place
throughout the North, in regard to the miserable
attempt at arraying one part of this country to
"subdue" the other part, we hear it asked on ev-
cry side: "What would you have us to dor
"Must we give up to the South?" "Must we sur
render to them?" We wish to meet this state of
the public mind Were it a question of the
North surrendering to the South, were it ques-
ton of the sovereign State of New York surren-
dering to any combination of other States, we
would say NEVER Were it indeed n question OF
the honor of New York or of the North, there
would be no such thing seen as ignorant and loaf
ing politicians becoming Colonels, Majors, and
Adjutants, in the army of defense. The real
fighting material of the State would be in arms,
and men of far other military education and
capacity would appear at the head of our forces


"What would you have us DOR A near fu-
ture is about to reply Let the Black Republi-
can hucksters take note of it, Lincoln must de-
clare himself national not sectional-his Cabinet
must become national, or give place to Cabinet
representing the country, and not an accursed mi
nority-or there will not be found for money
any more than for affection, enough of men to
keep Lincoln aud his Administration safe in Wash
ington.


1t is just as we'll to be plain-spoken, and a
great deal better. The sentiment has undergone
prodgious change since the flag epidemic that
ragged some few months ago. We have had to
face realities, instead of silk or bunting. The
gallant Sixty Ninth deepest in the fight al
Bulls Run, and first to rally in the ntrenchments
that protect Washington When in acknowledg
menL of that fact President Lincoln and Secre
tary Seward visited their encampment, and ask
ed if thew would not re enlist, those high off
cials no doubt remember the reply they receiv
ed-not the pretended reply that was telegraphed
to the papers, but the scorehing words that was
addressed to them by the gallant officer who wa:
requested by others to reply for the regiment.


1t is utterly idle to deal in justification Con
gress may increase the nominal pay of the sol
diers. and trust to General Starvation to turn re
cruiting sergeant for the army of the North, bu
IL uiH not do We must know That re ar
fighting for, If it be to destroy the domestic In
stitutions of the South. and to turn loose upor
the country horde of negroes utterly unfit fo
liberty, then Major General Greeley, with hisdea
friend, Henry j. Raymond. of the running Brig
ade, and the rest of the abctionists, must do th'
fighting. Loyal Americana, who love the ole
Constitution of the United States, will do nothing
of the kind. If it be to set at defiance the mos
sacred and permanent branch OF the United State
Government the Judiciary, and 70 annul the mos