smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1867




Divil a much matter, any ways, for


they don't keep a dh. .Op of dacent drink
in the country-no rale ould Irish po-
theen, a tumbler of which would charm
the heart of a wheel barrow, or make a
shovel dance-nothing at all but stuff
that would kill a pig if he had to live
OD it much less a Christian b e. y


Remember me to Jim; tell him he's
well, and ask him how I am. I'm sorry
to hear of the death of the bull and
hope you're likewise Her milk is a
loss. Tell Tady McFinn if he comes
here he'll see more of America in one
day than if he staid at home all his life.
I'm glad his wife got over the twins, and
hope she'll be better next time. There's
room for improvement. I like this
country. but there's no place equal to
ould ireland, where you'd get as much
whisky for a shilling as would make tay
for six people. If you don't get this,
write and let me know. If you don't
write SOON, I may be dead, for life is
uncertain under the Radicals; but dead
or alive III answer your letter.
Address your dear brother Jimmy. New
York, America, and I'll axe for letter
from my darlint sister.
Year: 1867

THE New York Tribune says:


A Boston religious paper proposes to
abolish the annual boat races between
Yale and Harvard, for the reason that
they destroy good feeling between col
leges, interfere with studies, and foster
dissipation. But the same objections
might be alleged against every kind Of
manly sport. Why should young men
in college hate each other for being IL
walls in a race auy more than young men
out of college2 We have never heard
that base ball was necessarily an ezcit-
ant of bad b oOd, or that croqust, crick-
ct, chess and racing are first steps in the
road to murder. Honest rivalship is no
worse in a boat match than in trying. for
a Greek prize and if the young men
of Yale and Harvard cannot test their
muscle without envy and uncharitable-
ness, they are not the young men We
take them to be. That boating inter-
feres with study is quite true; but sup
pose it does? Studies ought to be in
terfered with sometimes. It is not the
duty of a student to thing merely of
books he must train his body as well
as his brains, and mental and physical
education ought to be simultaneous. For
one young man who is made q Ounce by
boating We believe there are ten who
destroy their health with books. And
as to the dissOlute practices which are
said to be fostered by the annual regat-
ia, if the college authorities cannot pre-
vent them without abolishing the races,
they are unfit for their position.
Year: 1867

PARoDTEs in general, are a nuisance
nuisance that should be abated-but once in
long while. once in a lifetime. we End one
thai j. good. one that Is worth reading. This
ane irom he Methodist Protestant, suits our
views exactlv-suits rs for the truth It tells
suits Us for the hint It gives; therefore we
give il 10 our readers-give It to them that
they may read it. and we hope that they will
read it carelully-read it understanding
and we hope they viii not get angry al its
tone, will not get indignant at the hint itgiVes.
but win take it as a gentle dun, IS a kind Of
hint from rs and will send Us what they owe
US; send it promptly, send it cheeriully, send
Us money in advance; II will ease US If they
do this-eaSe US night and day, for then our
dreams will no be Of the next note to pay, but
we viii dream OF the goodness of our patrons.
dream Of them night and day. Hiawatha"
is a splendid poem, poem Of rare merit; it
brought its author goodly number of stamps;
it brought him golden fame, and we hope this
parody may do the same for US; hope It will
fll our Golfers full fill them to overaowi7g.
Read it, gentle reader-read it carefully:


Should you ask US why this dunning,


Why these sad complaints and murmurs,


Murmurs lOud about delinquents,
Who have read the paper weekly,


Read what they have never paid for,


Read with pleasure and with profit,


Read Of church affairs and prospect,
Read Of news both home and foreign,


Read the essays and the poems,
Full Of wisdom and instruction;


Read the table Of the markets,
Carefully corrected weekly
Should you ask rs why this dunning,
We should answer we should tell you,


From the printer, from the mailer,
From the kind old paper-maker.
From the landlord from the carrier,
From the man who taxes letters
With a stamp from Uncle Samuel-
Uncle Sam the rOwdies call him;
From them all there comes message,
Message kind, but firmly spoken,
Please to pay Us what you owe US"


Sad it is to hear such message.
When our funds are all exhausted,
When the last bank note has left rs,
When the gold coin all has vanished,
Gone to pay the paper-maker,
Gone TO pay the toiling printer,
Gone to pay the landlord tribute,
Gone to pay the busy carriers,
Gone to pay the faithful mailer,
Gone to payOld Uncle Samuel
Uncle Sam the rowdies call him
Gone to pay the Western paper-maker
Three and twenty hundred dollars


Sad il is to turn our ledger,


Turn the leaves of that old ledger,
Turn and see what sums are due us,
Due for volumes long since ended
Due for years Of pleasant reading,


Due for years Of tOilsOme labor,
Due despite our patient waiting.
Due despite our constant dUnning,


Due in sums from one to twenty.


Would you lift burden from us?
Would you drive spectre from YOU?


WOuld yOu taste Pheasant slumberl
Would Won have quiet cOnsciencef
Wuuld YOu read paper paid for
Send mOney-send MS money,


Send us money-seDd us money


SEND THE MONEY THAT TOU OWE Us
Year: 1867




AN ACCOMMODATING YOUNG MAN
A little incident occurred one day on one
of the cars of the Hartford & New Hav-
en- railroad, which gave a gratifying
proof of the Difference paid by young
men to the wishes of the ladies. and
their readiness to supply a want as soon
as it becomes known. The car in ques-
ton was nearly filed, as the cars are apt
to be in this day Of travel. Its floor
near the door was covered with tobacco
Juice, as, alas, car floors are likely to be
in this day when the use Of the vile
weed so much prevails. At one Of the
way stations a we'll dressed lady entered
the car, looked with unooncealed disgust
at the pools Of yellow and Shiny juice
on the floor, then raised her dress slight
ly and picked her way across. The only
vacant sitting in the car was in seat
occupied in part by a young man, who
at once made room for the lady BY his
side As soon as she was seated, with a
look of relief, mingled with one of So
lieitude, the lady asked her seatmate.-
"Do you chew tobacco?" No, ma'am,
was the reply, "b but can get you
chew if you like" The look of disgust
again crept over the lady's face while
those sitting by smiled audibly.-Rayt
fort C0urant.
Year: 1867

wards a fair and candid adversary. I
can say to you that that is my feeling
toward him. I feel that whatever mis-
takes he may have made in his public
life that, in this contest, in his conduct
toward me, he has behaved like a friend
and gentleman"


Gen. Hayes conduct through the cam
paign was honorable and manly, and we
know he despised all such poor devils as
Deacon Gray who assailed the personal
character Of Allen G.. Thurman.
Year: 1867

That the peach crop the present season Is not
failure will in few days be made apparent On Mon
day 40 loaded with the fruit arrived at Jersey City
direct from Delaware and next week. we learn from The
Ned Courier the contract Is for 100 daily and for
the last OF August and first of September 26 daily
over the line OF the consolidated railway companies OF
NewJersey. This contract recently made between the
responsible growers and the Jersey consolidated and
Phladelpia and Wilmington Railroads, does not include
te local trahc from NewJersey and therefore each
market will have through this channel a daily supply
during portion OF the season of 10000 baskets TO which
NewJersey Will add 5000 10000 baskets The peach
growers OF Maryland and Delaware enabled by this
contract 10 forward cars loaded at O'Clock the after
noon, and secure their delivery n New York for
the next mornings market NJ such reasonable tariff for
transportation as should make the peach one OF the
cheapest OF oil articles Of consumption.
Year: 1867

In many parts OF North Carolina the masses are ven
pleased With Congress and look for relief from no other
source Treason has been made respectable and Union
odOns by the bogus state Government OF Nor ,alona
cuaton of among the freedmen, and have ap
piled TO the military authorities Tor us sulpresslon
white men They have been often deceived by men
from the Northlwho havesetted In the south since e wal
that they are e1cusabe IL sonetmes they fail to see any
difference between them and their old masters hat Is
needed now the presence OF honest men who VIII rear
lessy go In rural districts and preach the Republican
gospel the Republicans OF North Carolina intend 70
20 back 10 the Union under the present acts; an te
powers OF darkness cannot prevent H. But Gen Sickes
could aid them greatly If he would appoint loyal men 10
Oilre In TINT State
Year: 1867

DEGS LEAVE to INFORM his FRIENDS and


ID the public at large, that he will ksep on
hand fresh and full supplies OF all articles In the
provision line, which he will sell on terms to suit
the cash basis Of trade. liberal share of pat
Tonnage Is respectfully solicited, at his stand on
Third street july1
Year: 1867

It is some years ago since the public attention
was called to the wonderful and disgusting things
which the microscope displayed in our drinking
water. It was said that every form Of :hideous
reptiles of the most monstrous shapes and incon-
ceivabe activity, but all invisible to the naked eye
were swallowed at every draught Of cold water a
thirsty person used Ofcourse all kinds of filter
ers were called into requisition until by degrees the
microscope and its nasty discoveries were neglect
ed or forgotten.


Having raised sensation about what we drank,
these scientific Paul Prys have turned their atten-
ton to what we eat, and now very cooly announce
some startling discoveries in the vegetable line.
Vegetables, say these sauants, are composed of
fifteen elements subdivided into two groups; first
the organic elements consisting of carbon, oxygen,
hydrogen and nitrogen; secondly the mineral ele-
ments which are derived from the crust Of the
earth. These are potassium, phosphorus, sodium,
chloride, calcium, iron, magnesium, maganese, sill
icum, aluminium and sulphur. It must be news
to most of our readers to learn what mess IF
mineral they swallow every time they partake Of
the homely Virginia dish of bacon and green's or
beef and cabbage. 1t is enough to make man
dyspeptc to think that all his life time he has been
living on iron, sulphur, phosphorus, sodium, and
half dozen other mineral Gums, in the shape of
vegetables, and yet he knew nothing about it.


Well the march of intellect is wonderful and
every day we are getting wiser but whether this
scientific wisdom adds one iota to human happi-
ness may be questioned. What advantage is it
to poor fellow to know what his beef and cabbage
are composed Of, when he can do no better and
must eat it or fast It may disgust him to know
that his beef has sry per cent of water, and that
his cabbage contains fifteen mineral elements, some
of them poisonous, but what of that it is 'root
hog or die" with him. How true what the poet
says: .-'


Where Ignorance is bliss, s.-


... ,Tis folly TO be wise. .
Year: 1867

We believe there is but one opinion about the
value of advertising among those who have given
it ANYTHING of a Tia zaniua,aal AA.t-->-s-sc
those who have made good use of it is enthusiasts
ticaly in its favor. Not few Of the largest for
tunes in the country have been made by it We
mean not simply the Moaats, Brandreths, Jaynes,
brakes, Ayres, Boomers, Spaldings, Wards, Hem
holds, and those who are most prominently known
as extensive advertisers. But in almost every city
and large town in the land there Is some merchant
who has won wealth by constant and skilfnl ad-
vertising. We have yet to hear of single man
who has advertised largely who considers the In
vestment poor one. There is but one voice. and
it is always and ever on the side of advertising.
Thus far, it is true, it has been too much in the
hands Of quacks and charlotans, leading respecta-
bic men to avoid it. lest they should seem to place
themselves in the same category. And great
many shrink from advertising Lest it may seem to
imply lack of business, and go amount to con-
fession Of weakness. But those who have used it
are the successful men of the country Princely
fortunes are made, as if by magic, by the persis-
tent and judicious use Of this wonderful agency.


1t is strange that with so many instances of sue
cess secured by advertising, there should be found
any business man willing to leave it all to others.


In England and France everybody advertises,
the most conservative and oldest houses as well as
the young and progressive. There it isnotconid-
cred an evidence Of weakness for any man to pub
lish his business. The result is three times the
amount Of advertising that there is in this country
and consequent wealth and prosperity. But with
US there is no such universal custom But if they
would employ this means for increasing their busi-
ness, itmight be doubled and trebled Meanwhile,
the few who do advertise reap magnificent rewards.
We defy any reader to point to an instance where
man has lost money by skilful advertising. Its
the magic wand that can coin riches by the short
est route. It has never been known to fail. There
are thousands and tens of thousands of instances
where it has achieved triumphant success. He
who does not use it is not the shrewdest business
lman.-LamchburU Tr0t,inn. r,.i..sags H..s.
Year: 1867

THE Cassville BARRY county, Mo.) Republican,
ing account to the effect that little daughter of a
Mr.. Martin, of that county. only eight years old.
deliberately shot and killed brother of four years.
She said she killed her brother because he pulled
her flowers and declared if the other children
pulled any more of them she would shoot them
too Mr. Martin, on hearing the pistol shot, went
to his house and found the infant murderers bes-
meared with blood, dragging her mangied and
bleeding brother from the room into the yard when
she let go her victim and turued with sayageness
said to be truly frightful.
Year: 1867

FLOUR Mill BURSED.-The Pacheco Touring
mills were totally destroyed by fire on the night of
the 18th instant The origin OF the fire is not known,
but it is supposed to have taken accidentally about
the smoke stack roof OF the boiler house. The
total loss is about $500, upon which there was no
insurance.
Year: 1867

This body has adjourned, after doing as
nearly nothing as possible, that is, if the daily
reports have fairly set forth its work a
contemporary sums up the fruits of tho Congress
thus: "The principle OF cooperation was
RECOMMENDED; representation was chosen
"to make The tour of Europe, with an mex
"plcit commission to gather facts pertaining
"to the labor system there and 10 the practi-
zeal working Of cooperation; a step was taken
"to form Il workingmcn's political party; and n
report was adopted which aims to secure bet
"tcr State laws in respect 20 apprentices.


Surely. this is not a wonderful deal OF work
for so important body; and little as it is,
there is some of it that should have been LETT
undone. The sending of member on pleas
urc trip 20 Europe may be a harmless as well
rs useless employment of money; but the step
toward the organization Of laboring men
into political party IS fraught with
the direst mischief. Workingmen
will find out to their cost, if they venture
upon the experiment, that partisan leaders and
domagoguns will fasten upon them like leeches,
and use them for their own selfish purposes.
II should be the very first article in the by
laws of every Woikingmcn'S Association that
they will not, as q body have anything to say
or do concerning politics, Or political parties,
beyond striving to procure the best possible
legislation from the powers that be. Asa rule,
the workingmen now have the good Will
and confidence of all parties, and of all
business men and capitalists. They
cannot afIorl to lose this confidence,
either partially by spasmodio strikes,
or wholly 10y undertaking to establish new
party. And If it were proper, there is no
room just now for a third party, and any or
ganization attempting TO take such position


will be speedily absorbed on the one hand
or the other. We must reconstruct the Union
through the machinery now in running order
before we have time to waste in new parties.
1t would bc gratifying to know that every
working man could be oouatcd with Us IN the
great worl, but whatever his convictions in
this matter, we repeat The warning TO keep
clear of woriingmens political organizations.
Year: 1867

Is there any limit to human iDgcnuity9 An
Englisbman has devised plaa for supplying
the residents Of crowded cities with fresh
country air, imported at so much per cubic
foot, and laid on in pipes, for all the world
like CrotOn water. A network of underground
tubes, radating from sOmo place beyond the
reach of the foul exh&atiOns of the town, is
to run through the pestiferOus alleys and Sti-
fling back streets Of the great cities, aud the
emaciated occupants of tencmcnt-housos and
cellars need only turn faucet, and the breath
of the daisies and the odor of new-mown hay
will rush in to revive and strengthen them
TO be sure, they VIII all be apt to get dread
full colds and breathing in house where the
air is turned on would probably he something
like inhaling the zephyrs from an active par OF
blacksmith's bellows; but what startling
thing it is to think Of country air being
hawked about like country milk or fresh yege-
tahipg
Year: 1867

The Times has been giving a good deal OF
space lately to pathological questions. Can it
not be persuaded, while in the mood of purism.
to stop calling the FormOsa savages pirates y
They have no more to do with piracy than
Spotted Tail and the KickapOos. But The Times
seems to think there is net even a verbal dis
tincton between murder on an island and
robbery on the high seas.
Year: 1867

An American writer in The BrOadway Md9a-
rinc who probably knows better, compliments
The London Times on the accuracy of its news,
and the absolute refusal Of its managers to
allow the politics of that paper to color its re-
ports of facts. Reuters kilograms from the
United States during the war were SO notori-
ously in the interest of the Rebellion, and so
uniformly false, that it would be surprising to
find even an impartial Englislman bold enough
to indOrse them
Year: 1867

The attitude of the South German Govern
ments in the conflict between France and
Prussia is just now subject OF great import
ance. The arrangement Of an interview be-
tween the South German Princes and the King
of Prussia seems to indicate that they Will side
with Prussia There is little doubt that the
Legislatures of all the four States will declare
in favor of a union with Northern Germany.
Year: 1867

President Johnson has joined the Mutual Base
Ball Club, and our reports this morning are
enriched by his opinion of the game. Mr..
Johnson has played Baseball and was always
delighted with it. He was glad TO say That
the game never attached any disgrace to the
members but did not go so far as to affirm the
members never attached any disgrace TO the
game We are sorry that he missed the anti
thesis
Year: 1867

Reports about the progress of the Spanish
insurrection are contradictory. The insurgents
claim that the movement is going ON success
fully. while according to Government accounts
it has been put down promptly and com
nletely
Year: 1867




SELF DEpENDEHcE.-Dlost young men
consider it misfortune to be born poor,
OF not to have capital enough to establish
themselves at their onset in life. inlac
good business. This is d mistaken nos
tion- So far from poverty being miss !,
fortune to them, if We may judge FROM
what We every day behold. it is really q
blessing; the chance is more than ten to-
one against him who starts with plenty
of money. Let any man look back twen-
ty years and see who began business az
that time with abundant means, and trace
them to the prese nt day; how many have
become poor, lost their places in society +
and are passed by their boon companions
with look which plainly says ] hnos
you not.
Year: 1867

The first thing that George D. Prem
tice ever wrote is this remarkable css-
sage:


1t cannot be that earth is mans only
abiding place. 1t cannot be that life
is bubble cast upon the ocean of eter-
nifty, to float for moment upon its
waves, and sink into nothingness. Else
why is ii, the high and glorious aspi-
rations which leap Ike angels from the
temple Of our hearts, and forever wan
der unsatisfiedi Why is it that the
rainbow and clouds come over as with
beauty that is not on earth, and then
pass off and leave US to nInse on their
lovelinessl Why is it that the stars
hold their festivals around the midnight
throne, are set among the mid-faculties,
forever mocking US with their unap-
pIoachable glory? And, finally, why,
is it that bright forms of human beauty
are presented to our view; and taken
from US, leaving a thousand streams of
affection to flow back in Alpine torrents
upon our heartsl We are all bound
for higher destiny than that Of earth.
There is realm where the rainbow
never fades, where the stars will spread
out before US like islands that slumber
on The ocean, and the beautiful beings
that pass before US ike shadows will
stay forever in our presence.
Year: 1867

A very extraordinary encounter be-
tween a rat and an elephant has recent
ly taken place in the Garden of Plants,
London, which was witnessed with in
terest by hundreds of persons. The
keepers were engaged in destroying 3
great number of rats, when one of them
escaped and ran to the spot allotted to
the elephant. Seeing no other refuge,
in the twinkling of an eye the rat snugly
encensed himself in the trunk of the ele-
phant, very much to the elephants dis
satisfaction. He stamped his foot and
twisted his trunk around like the sail
of windmill. After these eyolutions
he stood suddenly still, evidently re-


1ecting on what was best TO do. He
ran to the trough where he is acustom-
ed to drink, and plunged his trunk into
the water, then returned to his den,
and raising his trunk, with the water
be absorbed, he dashed out the unfor-
tunate rat, which was in sheet of wa
ter Ike that issuing from fire engine.
When the rat fell to the ground the
elephant seized him and made him un-
dergo the immersion and projection
four times. AT the fourth throw it fell
dead. The elephant, with majestic
air, but cool and placid, crushed his
annoying little enemy with his foot, and
then went round to the spectators TO
make his usual collection Of cakes,
sugar and other dainties. The feat was
received with vociferous applause, which
the elephant seemed fully to under
stand and appreciate.