Year: 1863

| OOLOMON.)


Concerning her System of Family


Government.


suppose l have thought Of you ten
thousand times within the last twenty years.
| never see clean kitchen, or trim and
tidy housewife, or an irreproachable dresser, "
viii its shining rows of tin and pewter, or a
dairy full Of milk, or cleany-raked chip
yard, or polished brass andirons, flaming with
fire on one side and rejecting ugly faces on
the other, or catch certain savory scent of
breakfast on frosty morning, or see num-
Der of children crowding out Of door on
their way to school, without thinking of you.
Thriving, busy, exact, scrupulous, neat, minute
in your supervision Of all family concerns,
striving to have your own way without inter-
terng with the deacon's, you have always
fingered in my memory as remarkable
woman. You sat up so late at night and rose
so early in the morning, that it seemed as if
you never slept. There was chronic alert
ness about you that detected and even antici-
pated every occurrence in and around the
house. Not door could be opened, or a
window raised, in any part Of the house,
however distant it might be without your
hearing and irdentifying it. Not voice was
heard within the house at any time of the day
or night that you did not know who uttered
it. Your soul seemed to have become the
tenant of the whole building, and to be con-
scions Of every occurrence in every part of it
at every moment. You not only knew what
Was going on everywhere but every part spoke
of your presence.


1t was curious way you had of maintain
ing the family harmony without the sacrifice
of your own sense of independence. You
really carried on very independent life
within certain limits. You were aware that,
in the matter of will, the deacon, your husband
was mule, and that you could never hope
to dispute his empire. So you shrewdly,
managed never to cross him where the course
of his will ran strongest. and to be sure that
no one else crossed him. l remember very
we'll your look of amazement and reproof
when you heard me treat with apparent
irreverence some of his most rigidly fixed
opinions, and assail prejudices which you
knew were as deeply seated as his life. l
enjoyed your look Of amazement quite as
much as | dill the Geacon's anger, for it
seemed to me very justifable bi: of mischief
TO break into family peace that was maintain
ed in this way. BY humoring and indulging
your husband, in all matters over which he
saw fit to exercise authority, and by so closely
attending to everything else that he did not
think of i, you kept him in a state of self
complacency, and was the recognized queen of
a wide realm.


As | look back upon your life, l find but
little to blame you for. Wherever your errors
have been productive of mischief, they have
been errors Of Ignorance -mistakes-possibly
excusable in the circumstances under which
they were committed. You loved your
children with all the tenderness and devotion
Of good mother, but. in your anxiety that
they should not cross their fathers will, and
provoke his displeasure, you became but


little better than an irksome overseer to
them. You knew that if there was anything
that your husband insisted or it was parental
authority. You knew that the strict order.
, ing of his family was his pet idea, and tina,
family government, in the fullest meaning and
force of the phrase, was his hobby. This pc,
idea-this hobby-you made room for in
: your family plans. You knew that he was
= often unreasonable, but that made no differ
ence. You knew that Lis will ran stronges,
? in that direction, and you made it your bust
z ness to see that as few obstacles lay in it,
e path as possible. On one side, stood the dea
cons inexorable laws and rules and will, b,
: which his children, of every age, were tc
= square their conduct. On the other stooC
, those precious children of yours, with all the
, willfulness and waywardness Of children =
;, with all their longing for parental tenderness
and indulgence with moods which they haG


never learned to manage, and tempers which
, they did not know the meaning Of; and you
: became supremely anxious that the deacon


should not be provoked by them to wrath
v ard that they should escape the conse
S quences of his dispeasure.


Well, what was tine consequence Thi
: ceaseless vigilance which you had learned t.
q exercise over every portion of the household
# economy, you extended to the bearing ant
r conduct of your children. You exercised
: over them the strictest surveillance. Yo,
Y carried in your mind and in your manner
,. dread of collision between them and thei
e despotic governor. You tried to save hin
r from irritation and them from its consequence.


You kept one eye on him and another O.
d them, and nothing in the conduct of eithe
!, party escaped you. Your children, as the
d emerged from babyhood, grew gradually int
# the consciousness that they were watched
~ and that not word could be uttered, or
e hand lifted, or foot moved, without de
Of gree of notice which curtailsd its liberty.
al repression-represslon- but req
lg ression-everywhere, for them. No hear,
N laugh, or overaowing childish glee, or nois
lg play for them, for fear that the deacon migt
-. ! ne disfnrhad