Year: 1868

If there is one art that requires cuitlya-
ting more than another in American society,
it is the art of conversation 1t is q natural
gift or acquired grace, with which, in any
higher sense, we are as yet wholly unac-
quainted. In town or country it is very
much the same There are eoteries where
one meets individuals who can talk, the
houses where one will be entertained by the
mistress with full account of difficulties
with servants and ailments of children, and
by the master with long stories illustrating
his own peculiar and unusual smartness; but
the art Of sensible, agreeable conversation,
the faculty OF starting or suggesting topics
of interest-of leading on and drawing out,
of mpartlng Information without pedantry,
stimulating others to say their good things,
is rarely found, and has scarcely been thought
Of in the light ofan requirement. Among la =
dies who have travelled and been admitted
to good society abroad are to be found some
very good takers, who fully recognize this
absence of habit, and therefore facility,
rather than power of expression; but they
find it difficult to remedy it because there
are SO fHw to second their efforts. They
have been in Paris, where people are only
allowed to be silent when they are alone;
where every one is expected to contribute
his or her quota to the interest or amuse-
ment of the circle; where stupidity Is not
tolerated; where, if people are absorbed in
themselves, they have at least learned to veil
their egotism Under the mask Of wit and
politeness; and where the claim to social
position and consideration, if not based on
the highest rank, must find something more
legitimate than mere wealth.


The American lack of conversational
talents and ability is partly due to the fact
that we are a very busy, trading and work
ing people. No one ever has any leisure;
everybody Is going to do something that
they want to do very much when they can
get time. Our merchants herd away In
dark, dingy, seventy by-niue offices, and open
their lips only in reference to the price OF
stocks, the aspect Of trade or the condition
of the money market Our great men have
hammered and dug and stitched their way
up through legions Of material obstacles,
each one OF which was a modern fiery furnace,
and which turned them out hard reflective
thinkers, rather than graceful, polished
takers. Even at home the American Bene-
diet does not shine as a cOuyerSatlonalist.
When he has nothing TO do but stay at
home, ne IS apt, failing the inevitable
newspaper, to go to sleep. lie sometimes
speaks TO his wife; she also occasionally
speaks to him; but they never converse
together In society this lack of conver-
satioual habit and ability shows to still
greater disadvantage. Wherever they 90
they expect to be entertained. Such an
idea as helping 10 entertain others never
crossed their minds At parties, therefore,
they sit still as Egyptian mumnies until
something happens-until dancing begins,
or some one breaks the stillnessby proposing
a diversion for the general amusement
American party-givers have q horror of this
terrible stiffness; they know that taeiturn as
their guests are unless there is a good deal
of noise, they viii carry away the impression
that it is a very stupid party, and so they
always, try to secure one person, at least,
who viii to use the common phrase, keep
everybody going. a party where people
are expected to do nothing but talk would
undoubtedly be considered and would be a
great bore.-DemOrest's Monthly