Year: 1867

whose fascinating glanses, winning


smiles, and more than Partisan polite.


ness had such "killing" effect upon
the impressionable young ladies, and
such demolishing effect upon the oppo.
site sex, who we're so indiscreet as to
escort them under the FIRE Of their irre-
sistible batteries Where can they have
gomez Have they gone on tour OF
knight errantry Probably, they have
banded together and, like Don Quixote,
set out in search Of adventures armed
with perfumes, bees'wax, tooth-brushes,
and number four kids. These are softer
weapons than the "'Donis," but when
welded with their mastery skill little
less destructive. Hearts will be rent,
and bosoms that were once calm and
tranquil will heave with uncomfortable
emotion-in a word, the calm tranquil
slumbers of maidenly innocence, and the
heavier sumbers OF manly security will
be terribly disturbed when they find a
city where street cars are new institu.
ton. Reader Confidently am glad
they are gone. will tell you why. Last
week Evalna and l agreed to take the
street cars and visit the ice cream saloon;
l halted car and was about to assist
Evalina IN, believing was capable of



of performing this little feat satisfae'
torily, but the polite conductor thought
otherwise, and Evalina Il am sorry to
confess iU like others of her sex, pre-
ferred the --latest Style" Therefore, my
services were dispensed with. She was
escorted to seat by this "such.a nice
polite conductor" with the step of a
dancing master, and carriage little
beyond the perpendicular, should judge,
from the appearance Of his concave
rear, with winning smile (which |
think had been privately practiced) just
sufficiently relaxing his countenance,
and was to slightly elevate his mustache
sufficient to display about half of re-
markably white set of teeth, of which l
think he was very proud, judging by the
number of times he repeated the display
ing process, in his blandest tones he asked
her "where she wished to STOP" just
as l was about to say Jefferson street,
that being the place previously agreed
upon-Evalina very sweetly and inno-
Gently said I" / cant tell yet, sir.
After depositing two FIVE cent bills in his
delicate palm, which he extended to-
wards me with the air of an emperor
demanding tribute (this being the only
time he deigned to notice me-, and kept
gloved to prevent the bills soiling it.
l turned to Evalina and meeklY re-
minded her that jefferson street was the
place, innocently supposing she had for
gotten. "She had not forgot But be
did not feel like eating ice cream-it was
so dangerous this sickly season. She
would much rather continue riding.
She would enjoy it much more" Not
being of contradictory disposition,
fell back and let "evonts have their
course;" for in his presence l had dis
covered that / had become of about as
much Importance as a cypher on the left
of number one. About every ten min
utes the polite conductor promenaded
the entire length of the car casting kill
ing glances to the right and left, and
every now and again bending from the
perpendicular to an obtuse angle, as he
bowed his graceful form and in his
blandest tones inquired of the young
ladies (seldom the aged) where they
wished to STOP" Then he formed his
angle and gaily chatted for few min
utes in front of Evalina OIL how |
wished l had trap door secreted be-
meath his feet, and beneath mine the
spring; how l would have enjoyed the
surprise of Evalina at his sudden mys
terious disappearance. This was Que of
the times that l thought Southern po-
liteness to ladies' was carried little too
far. But / am inclined to believe this
very polite gentleman is from Boston, or
thereabouts, and must have heard or
read of the world-renowned Southern
gallantry therefore, with commendable
politeness (for Bostonian) he had de-
termined to risk his life even, in our very
midst for an opportunity (such as the
street cars afforded) to show the world
that he could even improve upon our
gallantry but, in this, as be generally
does in every thing else, he carried his
improvements to extremes, and made
enemies of those who would have been
his friends had he preserved a more
moderate course. But Evalina could not
always remain in the cars. She had TO
get out, and at our departure the same
display of politeness was exhibited as at
our entrance. How many secret rides
Eyalina took after this, am not able to
tell; but that was her last with me until
the other evening-and was agresably /
surprised at the change-so much so
that thought would inform the public
for the benefit of any young men who
might be avoiding the cars on similar
grounds. This time the conductor did |
not carry his politeness unnecessarily |
far He attended to his business and ]