smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1864

Lord Palmerston and his Irish Tenant.


The London correspondent of the Ayr OBJ
server gives the following anecdote of the vete-
ran Premier To give every one his due, Lord
Palmerston is an excellent landlord [ have
myself known many liberal acts he has per-
formed for his Irish tenantry in the neighbor-
hood of Sligo A few years ago he was shoot
ing over this wild property, and, after long
walk, came to a dilapidated hut, in which the
only inhabitants were old woman and her
pig. His Lordship hungry, and asked if
there anything to be got to eat. "God bless
your honor" said the old woman, ''shure there
are praties and eggs, all at your service, and
she mmediately set to washing some of the for
mer, and putting them in the pot with their
jackets, and she brought from a basket about
half dozen eggs, which in due time were
cooked and served with the potatoes. Lord
Paimerston appeared to enjoy his primitive meal.
Every one gets good tempered after dinner, be
it ever so simple SO, for want of anything else
to do, his Lordship thought he would chaff his
hostess and asked her who was her landlord
ooh, he's one Of the biggest lords in the land;
shure, your honor, it's himself that dimes with
the Duane and tells her all that she ought to
do; and shure she's the good lady that listens
to him, and it's by these names that the country
is governed. The noble Premier asked about
her rent and her circumstances and was told
that she had been widow for twenty years, and
supported herself by hard toll; that never during
that period had she eaten flesh meat, except
when the pig was killed, and then the greater
part Of it was sold to pay the rent which, 'hon-
be to Cod she was never behind in' she
doubted, however, when her strength failed her,
and she could not work as she then did, what
would become of her; but luckily added ''If
my husband had only left me enough to buy
COW, and l had these three or four acres of
ground that's running waste, I'd been as happy
as the Duane of England" "Well, - said his
Lordship, "suppose | was to speak to Lord Pal
merston." "Ah, faith, it's not the like of you
that 'ud see Lord Palmerston; didn't l tell you
he was the biggest man in the country, and shure
it. not yourself that I'D come within a mile Of
him" "Well," replied his Lordship, "PIl try
l am not going to pay you for what have had
until | try the experiment" Good luck to
your honor, but there's no more chance of that
than of poor creature like me to see him wild
my own eyes" His Lordship shook the old
woman very warmly by the hand and departed.
In few days afterwards beautiful COW was
sent to the old woman, with grant of ten acres
of land free as long as she lived. The poor crea-
ture was overjoyed, perhaps more at the honor
ofhaving shaken hands with Lord Palmerston
than what appeared to her immense wealth
tile possession of a COW and pasturage Many
similar acts has the noble Premier done in his
long life time and these little fayors have made
him much beloved.
Year: 1864

To YoUNG WvEs.-When young wife first
settles in her new home, many excellent persons
with more zeal, it may be, than discretion, i'm
mediately propose that she should devote some
of her leisure hours to charitable purposes such,
for instance, as clothing societies for the poor,
or schools or district visiting. We say, with
all earnestness, to our young friend, engage in
nothing of the kind however laudable, without
previously consulting your husband, and hav-
ing his full concurrence. Carefully avoid, also,
being induced by any specious argument to at
tend evening lectures, unless he accompanies
you. Remember that your heavenly Father,
who has given you a home to dwell in, requires
from you a right performance of its duties; win
your husband by all gentle appliances, to love
religion but do not, for the sake even of priv
ilege and blessing leave him to spend his week
day evenings alone. Look often on your mar
risge ring, and remember the sacred VOWS taken
by you when the ring was given.
Year: 1864

A lady and gentleman in Liverpool, England,
were disturbed in their slumbers recently by
the noise of a slight move under the bed. The
lady expressed alarm, but her somewhat eleepy
husband said 80, it is only one Of the dogs,
and putting his hand down by the side of the
bed, be called, "Lion Lion, and his hand be-
ing licked, after moment the pair were salts
fed, and they soon slumbered again peacefully
In the morning they found that all their money
and jewelry had disappeared, and it was clear
that the lick had been dernier resort of an in
genious biped concealed under the bed
Year: 1864

CURIOUS DETECTIoN.-Not long ago there oc-
Cured in Prussia one of those cases of detec-
ton of crime by scientific means, which inter-
est a large and intelligent class of readers. A
quantity of gold packed in bexes, was dis
patched by railway train. On arrival at its
destination, it was discovered that the gold had
been stolen from some Of the boxes, which
were reflled with sand to make up for the def
cient weight Measures were at once taken for
the discovery of the thief, and that no chance
might be lost, Professor Ehrenberg was request
ed to make microphic examination of the sand
The Professor (who is a member of the Academy
of Sciences at Berlin, well known for his re-
searches into minnie objects, and his compari-
son of volcanic dust from all parts of the
world asked that a quantity of sand from eve
ry station by which the train had passed, should
be sent to him. Examining these one after an
other, he at last came to a sand which was iden-
tical with that found in the gold boxes. The
name of the station whence this sand bad been
collected, was known, inquiries were set on foot
at that station, and among the persons there
employed the thief was detected The incident
is one which an expert novel writer make might
use of with effect.
Year: 1864

Daniel Webster used to relate the following
anecdote Of Father Searls, the minister of his
boybood. As was the custom in those days the
old gentleman used to wear buckskin breeches
in cold weather, and on getting his pair one
Sunday morning from an attic in which they had
been hanging during the summer, be found
nest Of wasps in them. By dlligent labor he
succeeded in removing the intruders, as he sup
posed, and started for church. Just as he was
in the middle Of his services some of the insects
still remaining, gave him pierce, which caused
him to jump and slap his thigh. Such treatment
infuriated them, and the more he jumped and
slapped, the more they stung.


The congregation began to think he was era
zy, but he soon explained the trouble by saying
"My hearers, don't be alarmed the word of the
Lord is in my mouth, but the-deyil is in my
breeches p
Year: 1864

FIRST USE OF CHIMNEYs IN FNGLAND.-Not un-
til perhaps about the l4th century was a real
chimney seen in England; previous to this the
dwellings of even the opulent must have been
miserable places in so far as regards domestic
comfort. when compared with that which is
usually uppermost in the modern mind In the
middle of the spacious halls ofour ancestors was
placed the hearth, upon which stood the and
irons, where horizontally lay the ends of the
brands, of which by means of a heavy two
pronged fork were arranged in the best form for
throwing cut light and heat. On the roof, over
the hearth, was turret or tower, filled with
boards, disposed in such manner as to exclude
the wind and rain, and allow the smoke to es
cape. In this gaunt and aguish apartment" "
says a writer on this subject, heated by a single
fire, the company were in a position not much
from what they would be in the open air; not a
particle ot5eated air could add to their comfort
fer las9ssss pi b 7nced it escaped through the
louver Light was the only soace the greater
number could derive from the blazing fuel; and
the few who we're in a situation to feel the ra-
diant heat were incommoded by the current of
cold air. sweeping like hurricane along the
floor towards the fire. From the height of the
louver and low temperature of the smoke few
of the buOyant fakes of charcoal fond their way
into the atmosphere, and the larger the bonfire
the thicker the layer of SCOT deposited upon
each individual. Boisterous weather also
brought its annoyance; had the fire been made
in the open field they might have moved from its
miseries." AS it with our ancestors before
the invention of chimneys, so was it with the
Greeks and Romans who with all therar and
learning, their fine minds, elegant tastes, lofty
ideailsm, and beautiful forms and faces, must
have presented but indifferently cleanly exteri-
ors after having been exposed a while to the
smoke of their own dwellings-7he Sanitary Re-
porter.
Year: 1864

THE HUMAN MND.-The elasticity of the hu-
man mind is one of its most extraordinary quail
tiles. The man who at any time is capable of
resting quietly on his pillow with the manage
ment and fate Of a nation in his hands, is at an
other distracted, harassed, and distressed by the
probable event of horse race. A woman who
has borne misfortunes with fortitude and resig-
nation, viii be agitated; tortured, and torment
ed, by the recollection ofa single word look or
action of her own, or Of some other individual
to which no human being, besides themselves
would attach the smallest importance.
Year: 1864

Merit has rarely risen of ITSELF but apebble or
twig is often quite sufficient for it to spring from
to the highest ascent. There is usually some
baseness before there is any elevation.
Year: 1864

MANAGING Husband How do you manage
your husband, Mrs. Croaker? Such job as |
have of it with Smith"


easiest thing in the world, my dear; give
him a twitch backward when you want him to
go forward. For instance, you see, to-day 1 had
a loaf of cake to make Well, do you suppose
because my body is in the pastry room my soul
need be there too? Not a bit of it. | am think
ing of all sorts of celestial things all the while.
Now, Croaker has a way of tagging round at
my heels, and bringing me plump down in the
midst Of my aerial flights, by asking me the price
of sugar I am using. Well you see, it drives
me frantic and when woke up this morning
and saw this furious storm, knew | had him on
my hands for the day unless | managed right; so
told him that l hoped he wouldn't go out to
catch his death this weather; that if he was not
capable of taking care of himself should do it
for him. that it very lonesome rainy days,
and that wanted him to stay home and talk
with me; at any rate he mustn't go out, and /
hid his umbrella and India-rubbers. Well, of
course he was right up, Gust as | expected ,
and in less than ten minutes wasstreaking down
the street at the rate of ten miles an hour You
see there's nothing like understanding human
nature; no woman should be married till she is
thoroughly posted up in the branch of educa-
ton"
Year: 1864

In the reign of Charles II it was customary
when gentleman drank lady's health, to throw
some article of dress into the flames in her hon
or, and all his companions were obliged to sac
rifce similar article, whatever it might be-
One of Sir Charles Sedley's friends, percevng
that he were a very rich lace cravat, drank to
the health Of certain lady, and threw his own
cravat into the fire. Sir Charles followed the
example very good naturedly, but said he would
have his joke in retnrn. Afterwards, when he
dined with the same party, he filed a bumper to
some reignng beauty, and called on dentist
to extract decayed tooth which had long panied
him. etiquette demanded that every one of
the party should have tooth extracted and
thrown into the fire, to which they all yielded
after many murmurs about the cruelty of the
thing.
Year: 1864

The people of Australia reduced to despair
by the persistence of the English Government in
forcing transports and convicted felons upon
them, propose to tuFn the tables and move-
ment is now on foot to send back n cargo of the ,
worst criminals to the mother country, just to
see how England would like the treatment she
extends to that colony.
Year: 1864

In the present time, when enconomy in
dress is dictate both of prudence and
patriotism, the following sensible remarks
from the New York Ledger, on its being
the sign of taste, will be read with salts
faction:


The idea that cost is the measure of
attract!venees IN dress is a very vulgar
error. Simplicity OF design, and a due
regard to the congrui,ies of color, are
essential to elegance In the matter of cos
tune One might infer from the strong
contrast oi gorgeous hues which some la
dies affect in their promenade attire, that
they had learned the art OF personal deco
ration in herald's college aud held it to
be one and the same thing with the en-
blazing. The tendency to the fo<id was
never more CONSPICUOUS in the dress of
both sexes than it is now. ALI the pris-
matte tints-not melting into harmony as
in the rainbow, but opposed to each other
in distinct dabs, if we may use the express
sion-not unfreq quently fare in the street
toilet of modern belle.


Our bucks, too-not to be behindhand
in magni6cence-cincture their throats
with glowing cravat.-crimson and red
being the favorite colors. All this sort OF
thing is an outrage on good taste. A pale
young gentleman in blood-tinted neck
cloth presentss suicidal appearance which
is quite shocking; and dumpy, high
com plexioned dame, arraved in a purple
silk, with shawl and bonnet of many ra-
diant dyes, is burlesque on the laws o
adaptation which makes the judiciou.
giieve. Assimilation, not contrast, is the
secret of true elegance in dress. The
several parts Of the costume should be ir
tasteful harmony with each other, and the
whole should be adapted to the style o
figure, the complexion and features Of the
wearer.
Year: 1864

bS.Ace tuo peOple remember the re


commentator of the President to special


ly offer thanks in Churches upon Sabbath


for the success that has crowned our arms


at Mobile, and under Sherman in Georgia
To the Christian patriot the counsel is
almost superfuous. He sees the Guild
ing Hand, the Controlling Power, of the
God that rules in the affairs Of men, in
each successive day, and in all the events
of the war. If the prospect be dark, if
the political armament be obscured and
darkened by clouds, and the National life
seems to be imminently imperiled, the
Christian looks beyond and above it all,
to the Great Ruler of the Universe, to
Him who rides upon the whirlwind and
directs the storm to Him who controls
the destinies of nations and when he
remembers that 'justice and righteous
ness are the habitations of His throne,''
he doubts no longer, for be knows that
whatever is the result, it will be for his
glory and the ultimate good of the human
race; and if our arms are crowned with
victories the Christian will not forget the
Adorable Giver. nor refuse to render the
homage due Him.


Let all the people obey the recommen-
dation OF the President.
Year: 1864

f0r The Dubuque Herald has an article
against the Draft from which we quote
q passage or two:


"To morrow is the day appointed fol-
as shameful an Outrage as was ever per-
petrated upon free people in any age
or in any cline. 1t is the day appointed
by Lincoln for draft.


"When any war becomes so repugpan'
TO the people that it can be sustained on
ly by immense drafts of half million mer
every few months, it is time it should
stop; when people have to be forced into
the army, il is time the army was dis
banded"


And yet this same Herald is the lead
ing Copperhead organ of Iowa in the ad
vocacy of Mcclellan who is on the recort
in two earnest letters to the Presiden
urging draft to Eli up the Army.
Year: 1864

Oh, call it by some better name,
For Friendship sounds too cold,
While Love is now worldly flame,
Whose shrine must be of gold;
And Passion, like the sun at noon,
That burns Ger all he sees
Awhile as warm, will set as soon,
Then, call it none of these.
Imagine something purer far,
More free from stain of clay,
Than Friendship, Love or Passion are,
Yet human still are they.
And if thy lips, for love like this
No mortal word can frame,
Go, ask of angels what it is,
And call it by that name.
Year: 1864

CoNTEMPLATIoN.-Th is no lasting
pleasure but contemplation all others grow
fiat and insipid upon frequent use and
when man hath run through set of vani-
ties, in the declension of his age he knows
not what to do with himself, if he cannot
think. He saunters about from one dull
business to another, to wear out time; and
hath no reason to value life except that he
is afraid of death.
Year: 1864

Borrowing TRoUBLE.-The most mis-
cradle mortal, perhaps, upon this mlasmlc
sphere, is he who has no present ills to com
plain of-except an overburden of gold and
nothing to do-but who beats the bushes Of
Future till he wakes up lions, wild cats and
tigers, and brings nest of hornets about
his ears. He sees more horrid scepters and
ominous apparitions in the distance than l
can count daisies of delight blooming in my
pathway; and soul-quake threatens mo
mentarily to demolish his wretched carnal
habitation. His trembling imagination
looks out daily from its mud-built cell, and
every tomorrow is deep valley of gloom,
filled with devouring orgies, bowling at the
savory scent of his treasures. A little
cloud, not bigger than mans hand, brews
for him storm of evil quicker than an old
woman and ignited charcoal can raise a tenn
pest in tea kettle Poor mortal he is as
blind as bat at mid day-blind to every
thing but the innumerable goblins of woe
which stalk in the darkness before him
deaf as an ader to all sounds save those that
howl of approaching want and misery.


Rich, and surrounded with all the COM
forts that the world can bestow, he will go
fishing in the stagnant pools of the future
for ills that he knows not of; and he is sure
to get more bites in minute, than I would
to fish for week at his elbow. Unhappy
human to look out day after day, from a
golden palace, upon an everlasting expanse
of darkness and gloom How much more
fitting it is for me to sit in the door of pow
erty, with Contentment for my wife, and a
crust for my dinner, and behold the bless
ed sunshine gladdening the fields, and the
dawn of still brighter days to come casting
its sheen upon the distant mountain tops
or to throw one leg across the other, and
watch the smoke from my pipe ascending in
graceful wreathes to the happy heaven
above
Year: 1864

To admire the poet, the hero and the
author one should be acquainted with them
only in their writings and deeds. Poets and
authors are often the most insipid conversa-
tionalists, and there is nothing truer than
the saying that "a hero is not hero to his
valet"
Year: 1864

n New BANK.-Congress a short time since
passed law giving POstmasters throughout
the Union the power to draw drafts upon
each other, for any sum of money, from one
to thirty dollars.
Year: 1864

IT is fact remarkable that the best talk
ers are almost invariably devoid ofjudgment


Their mouths seem like patent lexicons from
which words issue with mechanical precis-
ion; yet they will not bear the analyzation
of the silent listener He would compare
them to the sparks that fly from the black
smiths anvil or the sounds that emanate
from the windharp-bright to look upon or
pleasant to listen to, but thrown out only to
die with the passing moment The rapid
talker is always yascilating in disposition,
while he who thinks twice before he speaks
rarely every fails in arriving at a correct con-
clusion, and it requires something more than
words to induce him to change his opinions.
Year: 1864

@ ONE OF YOU CAN'T. AND WE PITY


- you You have tried every remedy but the one
destined, by its intrinsic merit to supersede all sim
liar preparations. 1t is not surprising you should be
reluctant to try something else after the many eXper
iments you have made Of trashy compounds losted
on the public a certain cure but
Year: 1864

And with one accord give it their unqualified appro-
baton. We now address ourselves to all who are un-
acquainted with this the greatest Panacea of the age
for the healing of all diseases Of the throat and lungs
assuring Won that
Year: 1864

The city is painfully quiet to-day. Not
even rumor comes to our relief and eve
rybOdy is not compelled to stay here by
force. The circumstances have gone north.
The Richmond Whigemployes the follow
ing strong language about the affairs in
Georgia; The situation in Georgia is not
so favorable as we could wish. General
Johnston is either unable to make up his
mind to fight or is unwilling to risk gen.
eral engagement which shall not certainly
result in victory more decisive than Lee,
Beauregard or any other Confederate Gen
eral has achieved.


The Atlanta papers seem to be satisfied
that General Johnston will give up that
important city with struggle.
Year: 1864

All who have committed an excess of any Kind :.
whether IL be the solitary vice of youth or the sting.
ing rebuke Of misplaced confidence in maturer years
SEEK FOR An AyTIDoTE IN SEASON.
The Pains and Aches. and Lassitude aud Nervous
Prostration that may follow Impure Cotton arc


the Barometer to the whole system.
Do not wait for the copsummation that sure to fol.
low, do not wait for unsightly Ulcers, for


Disabled Limbs, for Loss Of Beauty
Year: 1864

WILL PHosrHonus IoNrEf-The incendiary


press came out simultaneously yesterday morn


ing in clarion notes Of exultation at the dis


oovery made by some learned professor that


phosphorus will not ignite unless some sub


stance like sulphur be applied to 1t. On this


hint the incendiary press hinge elaborate arti-


cles on the folly Of supposing that the late


plot to Ere the hotels, because they were not


all consumed. was rebel one. II 1t had been


intended to burn the city. argues ono Of these
incendiary sheets, those who undertook 1t
would certainly have taken the precsution to


see that sulphur was at hand. as an essential
agent in the combustion. But wbether sulphur
was present Or not it 50 happens that blaze
was created by the combustibles In more than
one OF the hotels, certainly the 81. Nicholas,
and If it had not been for the timely presence
Of the fire department, tho police and the
hotel assistants, the flames would, In short
time have communicated to tho other parts ol
the building This shows that there was, Ger.
tainly, some substance present which aided
! the phosphorus to start blaze Besides, it is


we'll known that the application Of sulphur To
phosphorus directly, is like applying fire to
gunpowder-the explosion is instantaneous


and the rebel conspirators have not yet shown


that strength of patriotism which teaches them
| to immediate themselves in order that the pro
pertY Of the peaceful citizens may be destroyed
1 Now II phosphorus will not ignite, per Sc, wha
substance in connection with 1t did cause thu


flames at the hotels on the night Of the diabolica


incendiary attempt Will the incendiary press
explain?
Year: 1864

LET Congress tax whisky just as high as
it pleases. The chief tax after all that men
will pay for it will be not out Of their pock-
cts but out of their health, their nerves and
their lives.