Year: 1859

content with the nearest cheap imitation of it,
We have abandoned realities and are grasping
after their shadows We say what is the use
OF paying great price for sterling article,
when we can get something that looks just like
II Tor little one! So we take the sham and
reJeet the genuine, and then pat ourselves on
the back for our shrewdness and economy We
have got the glitter who cares for the gold
The old proverb IS musty and behind the age
We nave run so tar ahead Of its fOgyism in our
fast way OF doing things. rs to have discovered
that II IS the glitter which makes the value of
the metal, and not the solidity and purity of
the gold within We have become wise rs ser
Pents, according to the improved theory of
"lsdom-getting the most for our money rather
than the best; and ID is To be feared we are not
always quite as harmless doves in our way
Ut getting 1T, for wisdom sayOrs a little of
the quality of that which WAS brought to bear
upon our mother Eve. There is a terrible
twang of deception about it,


We build houses with fine brown stone fronts
made of brick, and covered with painted and
sanded plaster, marked of into chain blocks
We enter them through Oaken or walnut doors
made OF grained pine, and pass through vesti-
bules fOOred with marble mosaic made of baked
clay, and sit down on veneered sofas before
scagiola marble chimney pieces and mantels
made of enameled iron. Over such mantels We
place mirrors in gilt frames, enriched with
elaborate carving made of composition pressed
in mOulds and stuck on with glue. In one re-
cess we hang hundred dollar water color draw
ings, that Is to say, printed limitations which
cost fye-and in another handsome bookcases
with mahogany faces and pine bodies filling
the lower shelves with books and the upper
with richly bound blocks Of wood, of assorted
sizes.


Just now, pictures are fashionable so VIC 90
TO auction and buy valuable oil paintings"
which are made at short notice. by the quanti-
ty, and carefully selected" and sold at prices
frnrn fol IN We H,lIa in
eluding an elegant gilt Frame We have
them sent home without any cOmpunctious Wis
itings of conscience about the smallness of the
price; for that IL the artists business, not ours;
and We call in our friends to admire them (prc-
serving a discreet silence as to their cost J
which they do with such ardOr. that we begin
to feel n little uncertain whether they are not
pOking fun at us.


The next time we get into an omnibus the
uncertainty is remOved-for as we glance at
the small gallery Of art ranged above the win
dOws, We experience slight feeling of sur
prise, OF not the most agreeable kind, of recOg-
MIXING the hand of the artist, (or one of the
same SCHOOL, who executed the remarkable
specimens which decorate our walls. We find
thst our bargains have introduced to us an ex-
tensivs circle of the very Indifferent acquain-
tances of their own class which we feel indis-
posed to cultivate, and we begin to suspect
that, if any body has been cheated, it is not the
painter.


We scatter marble statues made of painted
iron along our garden walks. We drink our
coffee on great occasions out of imitation Sevres
china cups, filed from silver coffee pots flank
ed by silver cream jugs and silver bowls, all
made of plated Albata. sitting in dining rooms
covered with cheap carpets of Brussels pattern
and lined with rich oak paneling made by the
paper hanger. We wear sham cravats on our
necks, buttoned surreptitiously under spurious
front ties around false collars made Of white
awaAl 1,lf
gress CATERS, with rows of delusive buttons in
front 10 convey the idea that they are fasten-
ed in the Legitimate way. We display massive
seal rings and fob chains, and carry ponderous
looking pencils, which are marvellous for the
space the small quantity of gold in their hol-
low bulk is make to fill.


Our daughters wear expensive point lace
Rdornnents. I'VE do not know their names, nor
do we know much about point lace, except that
IL Is some sort Of net work Of fabulous cost, }
made of some more economical material, and
washed in some way which is a great secret So
as 10 give them the yellOwish tint supposed to
mark the genuine article. They wear Canton
Grape shawls which John Chinaman never saw,
and Cashmere shswls manufactured at Pals
ley. and India silks that never passed the Eaua-
tor, and furs that would astonish the animals
whose names they bear. if they could see them.
When they (the daughters, that is,l are mar
ried we give grand weddings. displaying tables
filled with eItrayagantly expensive bridal
gifts, setts of gold and silver spoons, forks,
fruit knives, tea services, neck laces brac eets,
6c.-tOuching tributes of affection from dear
friends who are on our visiting list, and have
been invited to the ceremony; and which after
the parade is over, carefully packed up,
And-quietiy returned to the jeweler from whOIn
We hired them This sham is going a little
out of fashion since some indiscreet person ex-
posed it, But they still wear sham flowers in
their costly bOnnets-that is. in the little straw
hav 10 hair haak
hair when in the street-and sham braids Of
hair on their heads in front of the aforesaid
bOnnets.


We scan the performers at the opera through
lOrgnettes, hired at twenty-five cents a night,
with a deposit for their safe return, as nOncha-
lantly ~ if they belonged tOus We ride about
in carriages hired by the year. cOachman with
velvet hatband, big buckle. and a large capped
coat included, all got up in the most elaborate
style. We build churches with stone fronts
and brick sides. decorated on the outside with
carved stone brackets and cOrnices. made of
painted wood or clay, and ON the inside with
wall paper panels and painted recesSes, and
pilasterS and mOuldings. half of whose shadows
always fall the wrong way by daylight, and by
gaslight become - confusion worse cOnfOund-
ed We stick all manner of plaster gimcrack-
cry over the walls and ceiling. We paint Il
deep alcoye behind the pulpit, and then neu-
traliEe the effect by putting a sofa against the
wall where it IL painted, SO that when the
preacher sits down he has the contradictory
appearance of resting his head against a wall
which il supposed to be ten feet in his rear, and
maintaining all the while his upright position.
Ii cOnfuses our ideas of proportion and per-
spectiye dresdfully. We also found our notions
Of architectural proportion, once treated with
the most unwarrantable contempt, by an or
gan front in n new church, which was intended
To be something beyond the reach Of criticism.
This organ was 80 designed IA to require col
umn at each flank, supporting an entablature
Acress the top Of the front pipes. To effect this,
the building had taken two COrinthian columns,
such as were placed under the galleries, and as
they were too long by several feet, had sawed
off the shafts to the requisite length, leaving
them as broad and squatty as Egyptian col
umns and then put them in their places, spoil
ing by their ab0minable mutilation and de-
fOrmity the whole design, which, properly car
ried out. would have been good enough.


Well. when we have built the church, We
take comfortable seats in il as an express
train, with the management of which We have
nothing to do all bDOked and tickcteh and