Year: 1867

Much Fuss and Little Damage!!
As we were walking down Main street
little before twelve o'clock last night,
we heard o person some two squares
ahead make a remark which attracted
our attention. Our impression was that
he calculated the word, Fire! but
as he spoke in rather low tone we
concluded to await further develop
ments. In a few minutes he re-
peated his observation, but to make
assurance doubly sure, we held our
peace and waited for him to say his. A
repetition Of his previous remark soon
followed, and SO did we. We were
satisfied that he was discoursing of
Fire! but for what purpose we conla
not understand. We thought of apply
ing for q writ of fiery .facias to compel
the object of our solicitude to solve our
doubts, but it was growing late, and
besides we wanted the possible item to
fill vacancy of which we were pain
fully conscious.


His pace promised to leave our space
untitled. He passed from our sight like
walking Vesuvius only helbeiched Fire!
in a very modest and decorous way.
When he had vanished, we could still
hear him at intervals repeating his dis
course about Fire in dreary monotone.
What the word meant we could
understand. What such q tone
meant, we could not compre-
bend and for our bewilderment
we shall expect this individual to make
proper atonement. Near the corner of
Main and Quincy we net a gentleman
who stopped us to say that he had in
vented a method for teaching Borenan
the first principles of common honesty.
The process was a tedious one, and
as we couldn't understand why, in
his concern for one BOrcman, he
should bore another man, we inter-
rupted his proposed miracle, by remark
ing that we had heard rumor up street
about pending case of con6agration.
Speaking of fire." said he, reminds
me that had the same intelligence of
higher authority than rumor." He
then gave US such information as con-
vinced us that he had seen our monot-
onous friend, from whom he had
received positive directions as to the
locality of the proposed confagration.
He thought he would call round and see
it after breakfast, as his informant did
not intend to alarm the city until morn
ing. We thought we would take a
peep last night, so that if the house
should burn down before we got round
that way again, we would not lose q
sight of the fire, and behold only the
site of the building.


We found the rear of the establish
ment of Baer & Co., tobacco artists,
near the Baltimore Depot, to be trou-
bled with slight inflammation. Sew
eral persons were watching the case,
evidently in great disgust. One gentle
man proffered the remark that "lt was
the most unpromisng fire, he ever see.
He had been looking at it for au hour,
and it had not given out heat enough
to melt an icicle." Similar observa-
tions from others beguiled the time
quite pleasantly, until some evil
disposed person insinuated that
if he had ladder he could
get into the second story, and
interrupt the little combustion there
transpiring. The interruption being
declared in order, and the ladder being
forthcoming, the officious person re-
ferred to, carried his threat into execa-
tion. Pretty soon we heard a noise like
3 heavy something stopping right sud
den. 1t was the aforesaid officious per-
son. He had walked through trap
door, from the second story to the first
all at once. He halted hard when he
reached his destination.


just then o hose carriage drove mp,
and applied for employment. The pro-
prietor being out, the gentleman in
charge of the machine stepped into an
upper window to wait. He took his
squirting instrument with him. He
pointed it at the blazes which were be-
ginning to curl quite handsome. He
reminded us of n little boy sighting
shotgun at a place where he wished
there was a squirrel. By and by,
he concluded to shoot anyhow. He
called to the other machine gentleman
to turn on the water. He struck an at
titude. He poised his squirt. He aim
ed it fair at the devouring element. He
evidently meditated devil Of a dis
play. But the necessary liquid came
not. Something chilled the genial
current of the plug, and the daring
squirtist was left in heroic pantO-
mime to threaten wonders, aud
to cuss. Meantime word came
to the authorities in charge of the plug,
that the FIRE would go out of itself, if
the fluid didn't flow right speedily.
Just here n frantic individual made .
dash at the FIRE with an old broom. He
treated it bad. He mopped it, till it
looked subdaed like, and appeared as if
it wanted to 60 out. The infan-
nation almost entirely subsided, when
another thoughfless and impulsive