Year: 1863




Mr.. EDIroR AS you advertise
yourself "intclligenccr man " for the
country, / reckon you've got lot O
knowledge laying round loose in you
shop or head that you hain't had room
yet to print. I've thought you nigh
ease my mind on point, occasionally
With your permission, then, I'll ASK
you a question once and a time, or so
And as other folks have pretty smar,
chance of being put in my fix, suppose
you print my inquiry in the place OF
some of that trashy poetry folks send to
you with the threat to stop taking your
paper If you don't print it. What il
you do lose few subscribers, | as.
sure you my writings are in the popu.
lar style and they'll draw customers.
My first question is


ABOUT CANDIDATES.


might have been little afraid be-
fore election but | amt now. What
| say won't hurt his feelings who is
elected !; and he who is beat is so
badly hurtin his emotionals that !
can't hurt him any more. When a
man is strung up with the hope of be-
ing put three times-once in print,
once into the ballot box, and lastly in
to office-lct the question be raised
about his character and he is easily
studded up. He is afraid if any
thing is said about his character il
may raise questions that wouldn't be
easy to settle. At such times he is a
little ticklish for his record may be ex.
amined little closer than his wife
would like On the whole he would
rather have nothing said about his
character because something bad
might break out. But after election
it's different, he isn't so sensitive.


Now is it against candidate if he
don't keep his neck clean? That qucs.
tion bothers me. l have as great a
respect for candidates as | have for
the queen, and my regards towards
ladies is just as great because the
queen is O woman. And a lady has
asked me what | would do if the cop
pcrhead candidate was a goodlooking
and intelligent man and the republi-
can habitually wore a dirty neck. She
said she wouldn't go for the dirty neck,
and don't want TO dispute her nor
do | want to vote for either dirty
neck or copperhead. But l must do
one or the other, or run an indepen-
dent ticket If run my independent
ticket | throw away my vote, for l
amt of enough influence to make it
win, and | can't pull wires like they
say politicians do. So that must be
set down as an evil. may vote for
copperhead, but won't, for that's an
evil every body knows and if vote
for dirty neckcd candidate amt that
as much as to say I'm in favor of max
ing dirt everlasting? | can't go dirt.
| amt "dirt eater" SO that's an evil.


I'm in a dilemma. Won't you help
ne out of the horn? l know you can
do it !; for f you fail as tho "intelli-
gcnccr man." you are a politician ;
and this is a fair political question. or
l mistake the spirit of my country's
noble institutions. The notion sticks
to me that dirty people should not be
put in nomination for Offices. It's a
bad precedent and might be carried Sc
far as to find us some day with dirty
nccked president. A dirty nccked Off
Ger is as bad as one who thinks the
town can't get along without him
| always felt like giving the latter I"
good letting alonc.") He, is as bad as
the men that loaf around stores al
night. advertising themselves as bat
husbands and fathers and their wives
as no better. Hc is as bad as those
christians who work SO hard for their
church as seldom if ever to have time
to look up to the skies.


| On the whole, think that if yor
do not advise me better, | shal
scratch the dirty necks off at mex
election. it's the only way can sec
to vote a "clean straight ticket"


.. ...... WASP.