smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1865

STORY OF A HAT.-There was a start.
ling development, at Mount Helyoke
Seminary, not long since. One of the
young ladies had just returned from a
visit to the outside world, and soon after
a vigilant teacher looked into her room
and discovered gentleman's hat there.
Another teacher also satisged herself of
the existance of the alarming object, and
the pupil was forthwith summoned to the
hall of judgment. 1t was most delicate
subject of inquiry, and the point of attack
was only reached by gradual and zigzag
approaches. The pupil, who manifested
her depravity by half concealed merri,
ment, and showed no disposition peni.
tently to unbosom herself, was at last
brought up with plump question as to
the hat in the room There was a mo-
ment of painfully anxious suspense, fol-
lowed by sudden collapse, when the
offender confessed that she had brought
in one of her fathers old hats to cut up
for rolls for her hair. She was pronunced
excused, and then there was great fun in
the halls, as the story circulated.
Year: 1865

white mountain. which rose in lovely


grandeur over all the mountains in the
autumnal sky. A single soldier ascend
ed the mountain with the hope of behold
ing from its summit the rock and spires
of Quebec When he came down, Arnold
took from his breast, where, for four days
in privation and danger he had carried it,
a blue banner cleaning with thirteen
stars. He raised it into the light, and
for the first time the Continental banner
Aoated over the solitudes of the Dead
river. This is fact attested by history
and corroborated by tradition.
Year: 1865

LOST HIS WIG-A gentleman while
taking a drive through one of our country
towns, accompanied by his Irish servant
had the misfortune to have his vehicle
smashed, and himself and companion
thrown violently to the ground, by his
horse taking fright and running away.
The gentleman was somewhat bruised but
not seriously. HIS principal loss was
that of his wig which had been shaken
off, and on picking himself up, he found
Pat in most ludicrous condition, hold
ing on to his head with the blood trick
ling through his fingers and his masters
wig in the other hand, which he was sur
veying with the most ludicrous alarm
and horror.


"Well, Pat" said the master, Dare
you much hurt|


"Hurt, is it? All, master, dear, don't
you see the top of me head IN me hand ?"


Pat, in his terror and confusion, had
mistaken his masters portable headpiece
for his own natural scalp, and evidently
regarded his last hour as having arrived.
Year: 1865

t..Devoted to the cause of RepuublfcaniSm,
the interests of Agriculture, the advancement
Of Education and the best good OF Potter
county. Owning no guide except that OF
Principle. it will endeaVer to aid IN the WORK
,f more fully Freedomizing our Country
Year: 1865

\ TorCHNG INCIDENT. An eastern exchange
gives publicity to the following touching incl
dent -. Those who knew John Phoenix Lieu
tenant Derby)-kncw him rs we did--will be
glad to read this striking anecdote, which is so
characteristic Of his noble nature i friend of
Derby related ii to us some DAYS since. and we
cannot forbear to give ii place in the sanctum.
All who knew Derby Will remember that there
was nothing about him or his humor, which is
generally so characteristic of those sonr dlscon-
tented. practical jokers so naturally and justly
tabooed in society. Good nature and good TEL
low ship he cherished; and beyond these, save in
the way of harmless mirth, he never swerved.
1t was not in him. His power Of face was some
thing wonderful and is sufficiently attested by
the anccdote


He was sitting, on one occasion, in the guests
lolling-room of New York hotel, fronting on
Broadway when little beggar-girl came in and
with the keen discernmcnt of little people in
general noticed his chid-loving. benevolent
counteuancc. and approached him asking aims
She WAS very Young. innocent looking, and had
none of the juvenile whine of persiStency OF most
Young mcndcants whom meets in the streets
and in the halls Of our public hotels PhTHix
at once assumed a mournful expression of face.
and began to talk as it were confdentlally and
alicc,onately to her. He told her that his father
was long since dead and that he was now left
entirely alone in the world that he was then
but q little boy, with nobody to look to, and Of
ten had not known where to sleep at night


The little girls blue eyes began to moisten ;
the loling guests most of whom knew Derby,
gathered around when what was their surprise
to see the poor sympathetic beggar child go
close up to him, and in a quiet confidential way
take out of the side pocket Of her soled and
tattered frock all the money which She had gath
cred during the dav, and place 1t in his hand
1t is needless to say that the tender-hearted and
courageous little donor of her hard day earn
ings had not only her small. yet great bencfaction
restored. but went away with great possessions
cduced from the sympathetic pockets of the by
stanaers
Year: 1865

SIMPLE REMEDIEs.-A correspondent communi-
Gates the following to an exchange:


BarnS-Dip the affected part in cold water,
then into common wheat flour, and so on alter
nately. until a thick coating Is formed SO as to
exclude the air then bind tight with cloth and
wet with cold water.


Dptbcria.-If you wish to save your loved ones
from that dreadful disease use alcohol. gargle
with it, and perhaps drink moderate quantity
1t will cure sure water will pat out ire


| MADE the Union party of Tehama county.
and IN damned if don break it up


\. W Bishop. formerly editor of the Red Bluff
1adlpendenf and the defeated (Bolter's candidate
for District Attorney. is reputed to have made
the above remark. The voice Of the people of
that county at the late election must satisfy
Bishop that he is pretty eiectually broken up.
politically speaking.
Year: 1865

To HoUsEKEEPERs.-Iler is the best known
recipe for making grape jelly: Take ripe grapes.
press them from the skins then put them in
coarse cloth and press ont all the juice put half
pound of sugar to each pint of juice, aud finish
the same currant jelly
Year: 1865

do you think that meant
What Tell US what?'


She was engaged to young farmer,
then--but the match was broken of soon
after--I don't know why. She went to the
city to spend the winter, and a colonel in
the army fell in love with her and married
her =


14lr,165 In t'see Ter at the party did YOU.
Year: 1865




The following circumstance happened in
Cedar county, Iowa.


A certain young man being out on court
ing expeditions, came late on Sunday eve
nlng, and in order to keep his secret from
his young acquaintances determined TO be
at home bright and early on Monday morn
ing. Mounted on his horse dressed in his
line white summer pants, and other fixins
in proportion, he arrives at the residence of
heenamorata, whore he was kindly received,
and his horse properly cared ior--being
turned into the pasture for the night. The
night passed away, and three O'Clock in the
morning arrived. Three clock was the
time Tor him to depart, so that he might ar.
rive at home before his comrades would be
stirring. He sailed forth to the pasture TO
catch his horse but there was a difficulty
the grass was high and loaded with dew.
To venture in with white pants would rather
take the starch out of them and lead TO his
detection. 1t would not do to go in with
his white unmentionables, so he quickly
made his resolve He carefully disrobed
himself of his whites, and placed them in
safety on the fence, while he gave chase with
unscreened pedals through the wet grass
after the horse.


Returning to the fence where he had safe
ly suspended his lily white unmentionables:
o! horrible dtctu! what a sight met his
eyes. The field into which his horse had
been turned was not only a horse pasture,
but calf pasture too, and the naughty
calves, attracted by the white flag on the
| fence, had betaken themselves to it, and,
calf like, had eaten them up only a few
well chewed fragments of this once valuable
article of the wardrobe now reinained-only
few shreds-just sufficient to indicate what
they had once been. What a pickle this
was for nice young man to be in.


1t was now daylight, and the farmers were
up, and our hero far from home, with no
covering or travelling apparatus. 1t would
not do to go back to the house of his lady
love, neither could he go to town in that
plight. There was only one resource left to
him, that was to secrete himself in the
bushes until the next night, and then get
home under cover Of the darkness.


Safely had he remained under the protec-
ton of the bushes for some time and it
may be imagined his feelings toward the calf
kind were not of the most friendly character;
but ere long his secluson was destined to be
intruded upon. BY and by the boys who
had been out to feed the calvesretufned with
remnants of the identical white garment
which adorned tha lower limbs of their late
visitor


They were mangled and torn to shreds
An inquest was Immediately held over them.
Some awful fate had befalen the young man.
The neighbors were summoned to search for
the mangled corpse, and the posse, with all
speed set out with dogs and arms. The
pasture was thoroughly secured, and then
the adjacent thickets, when 10 our hero was
driven from his lair by the keen scent of the
dogs safe, alive and well, minus the linen.


An explanation then ensued at the ex-
pense of our hero, but he was successful in
the end and married the lady, and is now
living comfortably in one Of the tlourishing
little towns of Iowa.
Year: 1865

We would advise all young people to ac-
quire, in early life, the habit Of correct speak
ing and writing and to abandon as early as
possible, any use Of slang words and phrases.
The longer you live the more difficulty the
requirement of correct language will be;
and ifthe golden age of youth, the proper
season for the acquisition of language, be
passed in its abuse, the unfortunate victim,
if neglected, is very properly, doomed to
talk slang for life. Money is not necessary
to procure this education. Every man has
it in his power. He has merely to use the
language which hereads, instead ofthe slang
which he hears to form his taste from the
best speakers and poets in the country; to
treasure UP choice phrases in his memory
and habituate himself to their use, avoid
ing at the same time that pedantic precis-
ion and bombast which show the weakness
of vain ambition rather than the polish of
an educated mind.
Year: 1865

A man who had brutally assaulted his
wife, was lately brought before Justice Cole
Of Albany, and had great deal to say about
getting .iustic. ''Justice?" replied Cole,
''you cant yet it here. This court has no
power to hang YOU


NEVER meet trouble half way, but let
him have the whole walk for his pains.


Two dull and torpid natures may arouse
by contact with each other; even a couple
of dry sticks, rubbed together will make a
flame.


THEY asked Lukman, ''How dids't thou
learn manners?" He replied. ''From the
unmanerly. Whatever l saw them do
which l. disapproved of, that | abstained
from doing.


MORAL beauty, the reflection of the soul
in the countenance, is as superior to super
fetal comeliness as mind is to matter
Those who look good cannot fail to be good
looking.


MEN who invest in peticoat stock gener-
ally prefer the tivo-twenties to the seven
thirties. How are you, old maids p


If quack would be famous he must be
sure to quack as loud as possible.


Tom HOOP called the slamming of door
by person in a passion, "a wooden oath
Most men swear by word or deed, and there
is, perhaps, no particular difference in the
sintulness Of the two modes.


A French paper says the Empress lately
exhibited ga great sobrety in the fullness
of her petticoat meaning the absence of
crinoline,


NEVER despair says Prentice. IF the
stream Of your life freezes over put on
skates,


BANTING biscuits are late anti-corpulent
production.


NEVER initiate the peacock in being
great tail bearer


PATIENCE and cheerfulness adorn the ru
ins of fortunes as ivy does those Of castles
and temples.


A happy man is one who loves his neigh
Dor, is kind to the poor, and pays for his
local paper.


Our army contains representatives from
nearly every nation on the globe except
China and Japan.


IT not unfrequently happens that man
ners are best learned from the unman-
nerly.


MEN slip on water when it is frozen, and
on whiskey when it isn't


AUGUST is unquestionably the harvest
month of reapers and doctors.


The human race is undoubtedly of more
] importance than horse race.


II you miss train you don't have to
wait for it-and that S comfort.


THERE are three faithful friends-an old
wife, an old dog, and ready money


WE love ourselves Notwithstanding our
faults, and we ought to love our friends in
like manner.
Year: 1865

In the family the law of pleasing ought
to extend from the highest to the lowest -
You are bound to please your children; and
your children are bound to please each 9TH
er; and you are bound to please your serv-
ants if you expect them to please YOU
Some men are pleasant in the household,
and nowhere else. have known such men.
They are good fathers and kind husbands.
If you had seen them in their own house
you would have thought that they were an
gels almost; but if you had seen them in
the street, or in their places of business, or
anywhere else outside of the house, you
would have thought them almost demoniac.
But the opposite is apt to be the case. -
When we are among our ncighbors, or
among strangers, we hold ourselves with
and endeavor to act with pro-
priCty; but when we get home we say to
ourselves, II have played part long en-
ough, and am now going to be natural -
So we sit down, and are ugly, and snappish.
and blunt and disagrceable. We lay aside
those thousand little courtesies that make
the roughest floor smooth, that make the
hardest thing like velvet, and that make
life pleasant. We expend all our polite


ness i'll places where it will be profitable


where it will bring silver and gold.
Year: 1865

A cynical individual, who doesn't like MIR.
Lincoln, and has no very tender regard for
any of his family, was told the other doy
that Bob" was about to enter the service
as volunteer staff officer to General Grant.
He replied on hearing this, that he would
telegraph to New York Immediately to tell
all lis friends to buy gold.


"What will you do that for ?" he was
asked


Because that's sure sign Of immedi-
ate, permanent and lasting peace, said he.
Year: 1865

Who cares for the last years rose 4?
Or the flowers last years May?
or the leaf dried sweet in moldy book?
or the love who is away?
Who cares for the cloud gone by?


Or last weeks rain or wind?
Or a golden crescent of folded curl
The dead one left behind?
A tress of hair, and a faded leaf


Are paltry things to a cynics eye,
But to me they are keys that open the gates
Ofa paradise of memories.
Year: 1865

Give Literally, 1t is beautiful way of
taking the air. You breathe more freely
after such exercise Of giving. Don't do It
by spasms, but as u regular thing. Your
prayers are better for giving, You can't
send an arrow that will pierce the skies il
your right hand is employed in grasping
your purse, Give without grudging."
Year: 1865

Alas! the world is full of peril!
The path that runs through the itirest mcads,
on the sunnIest side of the valley, leads


Into region bleak and sterile!
Alike in the high-born and the lOwly,
The Will is feeble and passion strong,
We cannot sever right from wrong;
Some ialschood minges with all truth;
Nor is it strange the heart Of youth
Should waver and comprehend but slowly
The things that are holy ana unholy!
Year: 1865

True courage is the result of reasoning.
A brave mind is always impregnable. Res
olution lies more in the head than in the
veins, and Just sense Of honor and of in
fanny, of duty and of religion, will carry US
further than all the force of mechanism
Year: 1865

We call attention to the great speech OF
General SCIENCE published on the second
page of our paper this morning. The speech
is important, because it develops definite
policy in regard to the question of the re ha
bilitation of the rebel States, which is likely
to meet with earnest support in Congress and
very general approval by the country al
large.


General ScHENcK is in no hurry to bring
back the rebel States to the enjoyment of al
their selfrepudiated rights and privileges in
the Union. He holds that the Government
has the same right to impose conditions o
paci6cation that it had to subdne them b,
arms. And he insists upon those condition,
precedent to the admission Of their repre-
sentatives in Congress, in the shape ofamend
ments to the Constitution


First-The prohibition of slavery.


Second-The reputation of the doctrine ol
the right of secession.


Third-A provision fixing the representa-.
ton in Congress upon the basis of the voters
instead of the population.


The argument he makes upon the last pro-
position is especially commended to the
thoughtful attention of our readers.
Year: 1865




The news Of The assassination of Nr.
Lincoln was received in Englasd With
profound astonishment and upiversally
No man was found base
enough to offer the least shadow Of an
apology for it. but al condemned. The
ofthe House of Commons uni
ted in testimonial to Mr.. Adams ex-
pressive OF their feelings on the subject.
As far as heard from the same horror is
felt everywhere in reference to the deed,
which has no parrellel in atrocity.-
When it becomes known that the rebel
government was privy to the deed and
gave aid, encouragement and counsel 10
the plot, the last vsstige Of respect for
the defunct Coufederacy will vanish,
and all nations will hold the leaders oi
that miserable institution in contempt
and horror. This alone was necessary
10 GIT up the cup of treason, that il.
dregs might Aow out and all people be


hold its rot,enness and corruption


Hencefortl, the Confederacy will be bu
a stencil in the ,nnstrils Of the nations
Year: 1865

FEMALE CLERKs.-The experiment of en-
ploying women as clerks in the Government
Departments at Washington does not appear
to meet with as much success as it deserves.
In the Interior Department the force is being
rapidly reduced, and in the Treasury, where
the greatest number is employed, similar
movement is threatened. One of these ladies
attributes the probable failure of the expert
says, with great good sense, that it will not
do to turn public Office into drawing room,
or to work at clerk desk in a ball dress.
Year: 1865

The inspections of the Veteran Reserve Corps show
that but 200 men out OF the twenty-four regiments
desire to remain i'll the service There are 60 Off
GERS thus leaving less than two privaos to each OIL
Most of the latter are desirous OF being trans
ferred to the regular army. and are awaiting the
action Of Congress in their behalf. 1t has been as
certained that s. per cent of the 6i0 officers of the
corps have been wounded in battle, some of them as
many seven times, five per cent, have become dis
abled from other causes and ten per cent from dis
ease contracted in the line of duty Ninety one
have undergone amputaton, and there were eight
dssections of the
Year: 1865

Among all the vast number of appli-
cations for pardon filed at the White
House, there is not single instance
where the applicant does not assert that
he opposed the Inauguration of the re-
bellion.
Year: 1865

REPORT OF THE SECRETARY OF THE ISTE-
RloR.-We give to-day an abstract of the report
Of the Secretary Of the Interior, which gives q
gratifying exposition Of the internal affairs Of
the country. 1t appears that upwards Of five
and quarter millions Of acres Of land were
disposed Of during the last year and one quarter
Of the previous year. The aggregate quantity
Of surveyed public lands undisposed Of Sep
tember 80, 1866, was one hundred and thirty
two million two hundred and eighty-fve thou
sand and thirty-ive acres The Indian depre-
dations and the policy Of their determination
are commented upon, the Secretary taking
ground against the latter as inhuman and un-
christian. We are gratified to learn that the
publication Of the census of 1860 is nearly
completed. The progress Of the Union Pacific
Railroad is referred to in the most encouraging
terms, while the Northern Pacific road-from
Lake Superior to Puget Sounds mentioned
as having suspended operations, If they were
ever commenced, after the passage Of the act
donating enormous grants Of land in aid Of the
project.
Year: 1865

The FENnN BoNps.--Where are the bonds Of
the Irish republic, those miraculous specimens
Of artistic conception and exquisite executionf
The first week Of the past month was positively
set down for their issue, but mp to this time
there has not been the least sign Of them.
Perhaps, though, the leaders Of the movement,
with speculation in their souls, have bought
them all up. desirous Of reappg the RICH harvest
Year: 1865

MrsTHER O'GREELEY AND THE CHARTER EIEC-
rIoN.--The philosopher Of the Tribune has
always felt proud of the support of the plain,
honest country people. He puts in his columns
such matter as he supposes may suit them, by
the way of assisting their digestion of his
political nostrums. He tries to impose upon
these honest people by an affectntion Of
straightforward honesty and incorruptibilty
in himself Affecting the style Of the ancient
philosopher, Socrates, he wears old clothes,
carries smooth face, eats bran bread, and says
in his general manner, "behold an honest
man." He has played this game pretty success
fully; but he has evidently presumed too Tar
upon the credulity of his country readers.
The developments of the charter election in
this city must undeccive these people. What
will they think of his alliance with Fernando
Wood to defeat the regular candidate of his
party? Such IN incongruous political connec-
ton is remarkablc-is that of Beauty and the
Beast, and can only be explained as having a
bearing upon the piers and wharves job, or
some other similar job. Greeley and the Woods
united! What union All the humbug mig
ger philanthropy Of the Tribune cannot destroy
the effect Of such corrupt political miscegena-
ton. The country people can no longer believe
in the political honesty Of the Tribune philoso-
pher. Poor Greeley! we suspect he win soon
discover rapid falling of in his subscription
list,
Year: 1865

The RADICALS AS PRo-SLAvERY MEs.-The
radicals in Congress are practically the last
upholders and friends Of the institution Of
slavery. They deny the political existence Of
the States whose votes would secure the rati-
fcation Of the constitutional amendment, and
20 permit their party rancor to stand in the
way OF the final abolition Of the institution
that they have pretended TO hate, and whose
destruction they have held up as the prime
object Of all their political efforts.
Year: 1865

accruing from thslr speedy redemption. Or
it may be that sufficient AMOUNT OF the "aeed-
full" is in the Fenian Golfers to obviate the neces
sity for their issue at all If this latter be the
case we heartily congratulate the r.. b. on tne
pleshoric state Of their treasury; Sut the
former, the public has been done an injustice
which is observable Of the most condign
punishment. Let us burst in Ignorance no
longer. Pray tell us what has become OF the
bonds?