Year: 1865

N. Y. S. T. Its weekly column of "Answers


to Correspondents" is worth more than all the


MonthIes extant. In q late No. of this valu.


able sheet, we find question aud an answer


that touches up habit, fashion or failing


unfortunately becoming too prevalent in the


United States. This fashion leads to most o


the Grim con cases that crowd our courts, and
it is the duty of society" to frown the danger
Gus practice down. The advice given in the
answer below published, is excellent, and not


withstanding our ignorance Of its personal ap


plication here or hereabouts, yet the perusal ol
it may possibly be Of great advantage to many
who are just beginning to listen to the syreu
song Of 1.-The delights of Flirtation:"


E. E.PLEARA.-"Another old subscriber, and
also q victim of circumstances would very re.
spectfully solicit your advice. was married
several years ago to an excellent man, and he
should be-always faithful, ever Kind, and very
indulgent TO my faults. I may say, with a
certainty Of feeling, that his heart doth safely
trust in me. We have enjoyed great deal of
domestic happiness-I might call it uninter-
rupted-until about a year ago was introduced
to very nice young man Of good standing,
who paid me many fattering attentions, $50
dear. you know, to the vanity of poor weak
feminine nature,) and he seemed nothing 10th


to become a victim to my Vaccinations. or
course he knew from the first that was a mar.
ried woman, and could be Of no great benefit
to him in the end, as could not marry him
He must have been 'spooney' Of the first
water to fall in love with me. But you know
a woman with q bit Of coquette in her nature


will 90 many things in half minute that in
all her after lite she will regret. That being
the case with your humble correspondent, she
solicits your advice and consideration as to her
future life. Being an honest and conscientious ,
also high-minded woman, feel rather sheep
ish' to receive much trust and affection from
my husband. But l don't know whether to
keep running after 'spooney' or to tell my hus-
band all about him, and let him kick him out,
or to deceive my husband to the end of the
chapter. If you will'bs so good as to advise
me in this dilemma, you will confer lasting
favor."-..- If you were in earnest and really
needed advice, we should chide you for your
levity of conduct and tell you to bid your lover
begone; but, madam, you jest, though jesting
on such subjects is somewhat injelicate. "The
woman who deliberates is lost" says the poetic
prOverb; which is trIe in one sense, because
truly virtuous woman cannot hesitate for an in
stant as to the course she should pursue when
her honor is in question,) but it is only and
partially true in another. since even O weak
woman, though tempted to vacillate in opinion,
may still be led by her nobler instincts to ulti.
mately choose the right path. The married
woman, however, who can coqust with any man
but her husband, (for coquetry is not ''dear" to
all women, though you say We "know" it to be
o. \ NR vuf &c
man except her husband, is not virtuous in her
heart, whatever she may be in her conduct. 1t
is common thing, we admit, for married
women to aver that she who does not love q
Irritation is no real woman, 10 q ''milksop," &C.;
but the welded lady who uses such language is
sadly lacking in principle, and 1--WE must be
pardoned for speaking plainly, but honest NOR
ality demands iD if she acts upon the doctrine
she promulgates, she is only pure because she
has never vet felt the passion that carries away
so many ''down to the gates Of DEATH" or has
never yet met and been sufficiently tempted BY
the man who could awaken that potential pro.
clivity. We say to you in all seriousness, (and
we say it solemnly, in the hope that it may DO
some wavering woman good, though we are
aware that your whole communication is one
Of badindgs) the married woman who will
firt will do worse-and if she never does worse
her frienGs may attribute it more to her
good luck than to her good discernment-
Believe US when we say that no more fatal er.
ror exists in society than the toleration with
which such loose sentiment as that of mar.
ried wOman's right to indulge in Irritation is
listened to, and that one bold, gay, dashing
woman who, with charming audacity, uiters
such sentiment, is just as certain to corrupt
all of her sex with whom she associates, as one
rotten apple is certiin to reduce, in time, the
whole barrel to similar condition. 1t is true
that men ought to be as pure as.women. Per-
haps they are and perhaps they are not but,
whether or not. the world makes a great dis.
tinction between the lapse Of virtue in a wo.
man. and it is our duty in addressing live men
and women to argue Of things as they are, not
as they ought t. be-to treat facts in the social
system, and not deal in sublime but impracti-
cable distractions. This will account, madam,
for the tone OF our advice given last Sunday
to q "victim Of circumstances" and also for
that Of the homily we read to you on the pres
ent occasion If they seem to differ in their
views Of morality, it is not because we think
criminal passion more venial thing in one sex
than in the other, but because society 80 re-
CARDS it; it is not because We think man may
conscientiously bestow his affections upon a
woman other than his wife anymore than a
wife may innocently bestow hers upon the man
who is not her husband, but because society
utterly casts out as abandoned the woman who
so errs, and merely murmurs, "Fie! fe! you
ought to be ashamed Of yourself" to the errins
gentleman. That's the whole story, and YOU
are evidently quite as familiar with it as our.
selves. How few in this world are ready to
say with our Saviour; "Go and sin no more"
to fallen women, in good position, will kindly
take her by the hand, though ready at any mo
ment to tap on the cheek with fan a man
just as guilty aud say in the most winning tones:
"You naughty, naughty wretch! BY the way.
ain'tI engaged to dance the next set with you,
you wicked fellowT' Now this confessed, your
jest has more wit than wisdom, and our advice,
VIC trust. more common sense than theoretic
perfection.