Year: 1867




rank. The Secretary of War brevet.
ted him on the spot.


President JNn-s.n came in leaning
heavily on the arm of Vice President
S-t-v-n-s for support On first enter.
ing he seemed to be insensibly effect
cd by something but soon dried his
eyes with his Few pocket handker-
chief--a splendid pattern of bunting,
representing the United States flag
on one side and the Confederate flag
on the other, His outer garments
were curious mixture of blue, gray
and buttornut, but all his underwear
were Of q sturdy gray, dyed in the
wool. lie wore no suspenders, claim
ing, it is understood, that such fix
lures are clearly in violation of the
constitution and an insult to the South,
It is unconstitutional to suspend any.
thing except women.


In his coat pockets he carried q
copy Of the Constitution and dark
bottle of something supposed to be
remedy for summer complaints and
worms. Notwithstanding his trow.
sers hung low in consequence of the
force of gravity and lack of suspen-
ders, he was heard TO remark that
they might fall and be id, but
he would never violate the Constitu-
ton to save them.


General G.r-i.g-e-r, the war-worn
veteran from Ohio, was dressed in
his full uniform, the same that he
wore on SO many sanguinary fields
during the war His whole dress
was so riddled with bullets and can
non balls and sword thrusts, that it
would hardly hold together on his
manly form. His trusty sword, still
red with human gore, hung familiarity
at his side, He had his spurs on.
During the even ng he was observed
to cast glance of whitening scorn at
General G-r-n-t, which withered up
that Insignificant pretender consider
ably on the spot, and kept him shak-
ing in his boots the balance of the
evening.


1t is understood that the President,
in pursuance of his we'll known policy
Of promoting soldiers, has ordered
full new suit for the distinguish
ed General to be furnished by tha
Treasury Department. He is also to
have his boots half-soled and his
washing and patching done at the ex-
pense Of The same department.


Senator S-l-s-b-r-y and McD-g,l
came together and looked and acted
like brothers. They were dressed
alike, each having on snuff -colored
bntternut coat with two bottles of |
whisky in the coat tails Bottles par.
TALLY empty. Those two chivalric |
gentleman added much to the festivi. |
ties of tho occasion by acting an in
teresting tableau, representing the
coat of arms of Kentucky" United |
we stand," &c. They wore white
kids and dirty socks. Senator
S-p.g-e wore blue with white shirt
manufactured at the SprRgue Mills.


1t was bound around with genuine
magic ruftles. He looked interesting
in his cap and bells, and seemed to |
take infinite satisfaction with his new
patent rattle. Seated In corner
were Secretary Willis and Senator
D.v.s, Of Kentucky, engaged in a
warm dicussion for several hours, the
Secretary being sleep all the time.
The gallant Senator's attention being
called to the fact that his adversary
was asleep and snoring, he replied
that he was glad Of it, no was used to
such things 1t gave him more time
to establish Ills side of tho question:
and he went on "like an April
shower"


Many other distinguished gentle
men were present whom it might be
interesting to describe but / have
given enough to show how it should |
be done. OF course the women were
out in force, exhibiting the wares of
and Tiffany in prodigal pro-
fusion but why should they be do.
Scribed any more than the rest Of the
Time was when woman
knew her place as the helpmeet of
man. Let us pray for a return of
those good old times, and let US join
hands, every man of US, and make a
noble stand for the rights and dignity
of our sighted sex. OLD BACH,