smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1867

Charles Dickens presided on the
5th ultimo at the annual dinner of
the Railway Benevolent Institution
in London. From his speech we ex-
tract the following capitally told
story:


"Now, gentlemen, on this point of
the case there is story once told
me by friend of mine which seems
to my mind to have certain appli-
cation. My friend was an American
sea captain, and therefore it is
quite unnecessary to say his story
was quite true. Laughter. He
was the captain and part owner of a
large American merchant liner. On
a certain voyage out, in exquisite
summer weather, he had for cabin
passengers one beautiful young lady
and ten more or less beautiful young
gentlemen. Light winds or dead
calms prevailing, the voyage was
slow. They had made half their
distance when ten young gentlemen
were all madly in love with the beau
tiful young lady. They had all pro-
posed to her, and bloodshed among
the rivals seemed imminent pending
the young lady's decision. Laugh
ter. In this extremity the beauti-
ful young lady cenfided in my friend
the captain, who gave her discreet
advice. He said, If your affections
are disengaged take that one of the
young gentlemen whom you like the
best and settle the question:


Laughter. To this the beautiful
young lady made reply, i cannot do
that, because / like them all equally
WELL Laughter.


"My friend, who was q man of re-
source, hit upon this ingenious ex-
pedient. Said he, To morrow morn
ing when lunch is announced, do you
plunge bodily overheard, head fore
most. 1 will be alongside in boat
to pick you up; and take the one of
the ten who rushes to your rescue.
The beautiful young lady highly ap-
proved of this, and did accordingly.
But after she plunged in nine out of
the ten more or less beautiful young
gentlemen plunged in after her. The
tenth shed tears great laughter and
looked over the side of the vessel,
but remained on deck. They were
all picked up. When they all mus
tered dripping on the deck, and stood
there in limp row, the beautiful
young lady said to the captain
What am / to do new2 See what a
state they are in. How can posi-
bly, choose one of the nine when they
are all equally wet?' Then said my
friend, with a sudden inspiration,
My dear, take the dry one.' Loud
laughter. I am sorry to say she did,
and that they lived happy ever ST
ter"
Year: 1867

~ Of the hopes of salvation :or
the country much talked of by the
Democracy, the Cincinnati CONNER
cial very truly says


Whenever we complain of any of
the follies Of the party in power, q
score of Democratic journals tell Us
that there is but one hope of sal
yation, and that in the old Demo-
cratic party. This is q stupidity
that has become wearisome aud is
getting exasperated. The Demo
cratic party was SO closely identified
with the rebellion, that it has not
the confidence of the people OF the
country-and by the people we mean
the masses of intelligent men VINO
have in their hands the polltical
power in the great states OF the
North. The people dread more the
Democratic party's return to power,
than auy other calamity. Take any
shane but that, is the exclamation
that sreets the Democratic party
It is Bourbon Democracy that gives
Radicalism license.
Year: 1867

POISONED ARRows.-A writer in
Harper's Magazine tells how the In
dians poison their arrows:


A rattlesnake is caught and penned.
He is made angry by being poked
with sticks, when piece of deer
liver is held toward him on the end
of a stick. Into this.he strikes his
fangs. The liver is then withdrawn,
and piece of dogwood about four
inches long, carefully sharpened, is
thrust into the incision made by the
fangs. The stick is, permitted to
dry for a short time, when it is dip
ped into glutinous solution, which,
drying, hermetically seals the poison
which would otherwise decompose.
This piece of dog wood is used at
the head of the arrow. To be
wounded with such an arrow is al
most certain death.
Year: 1867

~ A new expedition to explere
our new possessions is talked of. 1t
is to be composed entirely of Dem
ocrats. They have been frozen out
of Office so long, it is thought they
will be able to stand the climate.
Year: 1867

Pedilers are preambulating the
State of Georgia selling what they
style Gland script" to the colored
people. They inform the latter that
the Government will in q few days
confiscate the lands of the whites
and give them to the recent slaves.
Certificates Of land to be entered up
on are sold at prices ranging from
enc to three dollars.
Year: 1867

~ The Second Auditor of the
Treasury has decided that a certi6-
cate of indebtedness from the Gov
ernment to soldier is not liable to
be attached, nor is the attorney of
the soldier liable to be held as his
trustee or garnishee before the
money has been actually paid and
received by him upon it. The law
gives the attorney no lien upon it for
a pre-existing debt, nor even for his
fees for obtaining it. 1t can only be
paid upon the signature Of the soldier
and is of no value in the hands of
any other person except after he has
properly assigned it.
Year: 1867

WAITING TO BE GRACIOUS


God is waiting to be gracious. He
has made the costliest provision
imaginable for bestowing the very
blessing that you seek. He has
spared you these long years in or
der that you might believe and
live. He has showered his mer-
cies upon you that they might
lead you to repentance. He has
sent Affections that he might
chasten you by them from evil,
and bring you to Himself. We
may possibly die as Moses did,
alone with God; none to pillow
our head or wipe the damp dews
from our brow; alone on the
mountain top, in the lonely desert,
on the trackless prairie, or on the
CORY battlefield, burning with
thirst and torn with pain. 1t will
not matter if the God of Moses is
with us. The end will be peace ;
underneath WILDE the everlasting
arms. Though earthly friends
may be far away, God will be
there-the angels will be there ;
and as they whisper, "Sister spirit,
come away" there will be with us
the peace of God which passeth
all understanding.-Ex
Year: 1867

A GENTLE WIFE's EXPLANA-
TIoN.-In the police court of Chi
cago, a wife thus ingeniously ex-
planned very serious charge of
harsh treatment towards her poor
husband:


One day when she was running
across the room, with a fork in her
hand, he jumped in the way, and
stuck the fork in his wrist. Then
he undertook to strike her, but
she held up a pan of hot dish wa
ter between them and he split it
all over his head. Then he got
still more angry at this accident,
and started to jump at her but his
head came against her hand and
he fell down. She took hold OF
his hair to raise him up, and the
hair was moistened by the hot
water so that it came off. Then
she saw that it was of no use to
reason any longer, and shele the
house.
Year: 1867

THE FRUIT OF LABoR.-Tt has
been computed by some political
arithmetician that if every man
and woman would work four
hours each day on something use
full, that labor would produce suf-
ficient to procure all the necessa-
ries of life, want and and misery
would be banished out of the
world, and the rest of the twenty
four hours might be leisure and
pleasure Franklin.
Year: 1867

% We cannot remember a
night so dark as to have hindered
the approach of coming day, nor
a storm so furious or dreadful as
to prevent the return of warm sun
shine and cloudless sky.
Year: 1867

Halls Journal Of Health enumerales the
following. The list is capable Of being ex.
tended. Indeed, II one should specify all
the silly and fidiculous habits and practi.
ees by which the majority Of reasoning
mortals are injuring themselves, he would
make chapter as long as the Atlantic
Cable;


Walking along the street with the point
Of an umbrella sticking out behind under
the arm or over the shoulder. BY suddenly
stopping to speak to fIiend, or other
cause, person walking in the rear had his
brain penetrated through his eye, in one of
our streets, ard died in a few days.


Stepping into church aisle, after dis
mission, and standing TO converse with
others, or to allow occupants of the same
pew to pass out before, for tho cotrtesy of
precedence, at the expense Of greater
boorishness TO those behind.


To carry long pencil in vest or outside
coat pocket. Not long since clerk i'll
New York tell and the long cedar pencil so
pierced an Important artery that it had to
be cut down upon from the top of the shoul.
der to prevent his bleeding to death. with
a three months illness


~ UNIV NNNiNtoo VI walk lOT tll1 neAlln,
when every step is drag, and instinct
urges us To repose.


To guzzle down glass after glass of cold
water on getting up in the morning without
any feeling of thirst under the impression
OF the health giving nature of its washing.
out qualities.


To sit down to the table and "force"
yourself to cat when there is not only no
appetite to cat but positive aversiuu Of
food.


To take glass of soda or toddy or san.
garee, or mint drops on summer day, un.
der the belief that it 10 safer and better
than glass of cold water.


To eoononize time by robbing yourself
OF necessary sleep, on til, ground that an
hour saved from sleep is an hour gained
too lie, when IN reality it is two hours &C.
tually lost, and half dozen other hours nc.
tually spoiled


To persuade yourself that You are do.
sroying tn> unpleasant odor by introduc.
ing a stronger one, that is, attempting to
sweeten your own unwashed garments and
person by involving yourself in the fumes
OF musk eau de cologne, or rose water
the best perfume being clean skin and
wellwashed clotding.
Year: 1867

R8- The New York World proposes
compromise of the reconstruction
question, to be made by selecting sixty
or eighty men from the North and the
sane number from the South to meet and
agree upon some platform. 1t suggests
as basis FIVE years probation to ne
groes before voting, and small prop
erty qualification. The Chicago Times
indorses, and says a settlement might be
made on such basis, to which the
country would subscribe, if the Radical
party would consent to it. But that
party will not consent to any proposition
which risks taking the Southern States
out Of their hands No matter if utter
destruction Of those States is the conse-
quence Of refusal IL the Northern
people cannot or will not take this mat
Ter into their own hands, they and the
Southern whites will together see this
day.
Year: 1867

MISS ROSETTA CONSTANTINE is dancer,
and was last year an evangelist of the
Black Crook to the benighted of Missis-
sippi But her wicked manager, being
unable, by hook, or by Crook, to convert
the heatheH of that cline to patronage
of the undraped drama, fed by night,
leaving the wreck of Rosetta stranded
on a hotelbill in Meridian. Rosetta
thereupon elongated her skirts, and
stopped to teach the freed idea how to
shoot. A suit of law revealed these
facts, and also that Rosetta had been
living in happy immortality with her
colored landlord, and again had failed to
pay her board.
Year: 1867

THE uncultivated people on the Pacific
side have hitherto refused to accept
greenbacks as money, or to have any
thing TO do with them, except as q
marketable commodity. All taxes have
been collected in gold, and, in spite of
legal tender laws, the decisions of the
State courts have maintained the mer
camille custom as paramount. One of
the counties in Oregon is contestiug
this policy of notification of national
law, in suit designed to test the power
of the State to enforce collection Of
taxes in coin; and the question is to be
decided by the United States Supreme
Court, at the present term.
Year: 1867

The Late Negro Outrages In Alabama.


A letter in the Montgomery Advertiser,
dated Perote, Alabama, gives the follow
ing particulars of an affair already men
toned by telegraph:


For the last several days the people
have been kept in a state of alarm,
growing out of the resistance oil the
negroes in this community to the execu-
tion of a civil process issued by Judge
Mccall. The negroes, it seems, belong
ing to the League, at this place, through
the instructions of certain leaders among
them, and | understand, some of them
from your city, determined to form a
code of laws to govern the negro popula-
tion; and actually opened a court,
differed and organized, and have been
arrestng by night all negroes that are
opposed to and speak anything against
their unlawful doings; and carried the
matter of punishment SO far that one or
two appealed to the civil authorities for
protection.


A warrant was issued by Judge Mccall
last week, and the Deputy Sheriff came
over to arrest the parties on Thursday,
and did arrest that evening the Sheriff
and one of his deputies, and put them
under guard. He went the next morning
to DR.. Dawson's plantation, a mile or two
from town, to arrest others When he
had done so, a party OF some forty
negroes made their appearance, and
defed him to take them off; cursed him
and the white people, and told him that
they would meet him and them in the
open field and test the matter as to who
should be masters and rulers. Under
these circumstances, the Sheriff came
back and summoned the citizens to his
aid


As many as could be collected soon
Joined him and went in pursuit The
negroes made their way toward the
Springs, saying that they would get the
league there and at Chunnennuggy
Ridge to join them, and their intention
was to subdue the whites and take pos
session of the country. These reports
were no doubt exaggerated, and the whole
country, for twenty miles round, became
excited, and came in to assist the civil
authorities The negroes have mostly
come in or been brought in; and many
of them have confessed that the reports
in relation TO general rising and taxing
the country and exterminating the whites
were true; aud tkat certain negroes
came among them and instructed them,
reading documents which they said we're
issued By General Swayne, by which
they have a right TO kill any and every
body who resisted their authority
There was one thing which occurred
that was regretted, and immediately
condemned. On Friday, about 10 clock,
the negro meeting house was set on fire
BY some evil disposed persOn-whether
white or black, VIC have no means Of
kuowing- and, when discovered, was
too far hurnad for Us 10 arrest the flames,
and il gas consumed Il was done BY
no person Of our community, and the
p5ople are not at all responsible for it.


The Baltimore Sun has begun stereO-
iyping its pages
Year: 1867

The smallest practical railroad curve
is an area of circle whose radius is 720
feet Consequently a railroad would
have to be nine elevenths Of mile long
in order to make complete circle. A
railroad embankment must be three
times as thick at its base as at its per-
pendicular hight. In other words, the
slope, in order to stand without sliding,
must not be more than about thirty de.
grees from horizontal. The highest
embankment in the world is on one of
our Western roads, 240 feet, with base
730 feet thick.
Year: 1867

REPUBLICAN, MOVEMENT IN RICHMoND.-
A number of our leading merchants and
moneyed men are circulating paper call
ing upon the citizens Of Richmond to unite
in tile movement recently inaugurated in
some Of our interior counties, which is in
tended to effect cooperation with the
Republican party of the United States.
To this end it is urged that delegates be
appointed from this city to take part in
the mass convention which meets on the
lst of August pursuant to call Of the
Radical Unconditional Union State Cen
trail Committee"
Year: 1867

The selections are good, and several origi-


nal choruses will be brought before the
public for the first time. The proceeds
are to be devoted to On institution which
has done much good and is eminently de-
serving of liberal help. The concert will
take place at the lecture-room OF st.
James's church. g
Year: 1867

To the Editors of the Cincinnati Enquirer:


Every person that is at all acquainted
with the financial affairs of the country
understands that we must do one of two
things-pay the public debt in greenbacks
or repudiate it. If we do the latter,
few years will be sufficient for the: pur--
pose. The first we can do, and without
any breach of faith or any disastrous con-
sequences.
Year: 1867

We shall constantly admonish the Southern
people to be self-reIiant and shall DO what We
may be able to induce the establishment OIL
manufactures in our midst for our home pro
aucts. To this end we viii pay special attention
70 the COST snd STATISTICS Of mnnufscturing'
and exert ourselves TO encourage the diversih-
cation Of Southern industries and the develop
uent Of Southern resources.
Year: 1867

by A CONSOLIDATION OF THE ASH
WILLIE UNION AND AMERICAN and the
DISPATCH. and by the generous and united
support Of the UNION AND DIsPATcH by the
satrons Of both the former papers, the Preprie-
tors are enabled 10 present a Newspaper h'ths
10 unsurpassed in this city or State


IN FULLNESS AND ACCURACY
NEWS. our paper will compare favorably ith
the best in the entire country; and in sAylna
this. we only repeat the expressionsof mary
our patrons. who are most capable "t Judging IN
uch matters.
Year: 1867

be the Governor In fact as well a. In name. The
chief executive Of municipality must have
actual executive power, and not be set as the
head Of the city government as dgurehead
Is placed in the bow Of ship. The judiciary
must be the fearless dispensers Of justice, and
not political partisans. The powers Of the
Legislature over corporations must be clearly
defined, 20 that we may know exactly what are
the rights Of the people. The Chief Executive
officer OF the State and of every separate
municipality must have full authority Of
appointment and removal over ell their subor-
dinates, and be held responsible to the people
for the honest and efficient discharge Of their
several trustA This will be placing power In
reality in the hands Of the people, BY afording
them the opportunity to reach and overthrow
corrupt government at once and by single
blow. These are the lessons the delegates to
the State Convention Of Revision should study.
and upon the teachings. Of which they should
frame the new constitution. The people look
~ them, for . radical reform in. the funda-'
mental principles Of the government that will
sweep away essctaally ths anarchy and eor-I
.ruption orssnized h tAe constitution d .lS4S.
Year: 1867

Auo HAssmama8ooeus - Oax Nassro9ass


There is q popular prejudice in New York
against railroad corporations. Whenever any
special legislation Is proposed extending the
privileges Of an existing or Incorporating q
new railroad company the general sentiment
is adverse to its success, and ninety-1ine
people out Of every hundred In the State look
upon it as corrupt job. Yet every person is
in favor Of railroads wherever they are
needed, and not living man in his sane mind
would propose that the country should try to
get along without them.


The explanation Of this apparent contradic-
ton is that railroad corporations have been 80
grasplng, avaricious and overbearing that they
have brought discredit and disfhvor upon them
selves They have only their own bad policy to
blame for their unpopularity The directors and
managers Of our trunk lines, in especial, have
seldom confined themselves to their legitimate
sphere Of action. They have given their minds
70 the rise and fall OF their stock rather than to
the business management Of their roads and
many Of them, while entirely familiar with the
method Of amaking corner" and sharp
enough at buying, and selling short, know no
more about time tables or rolling stock or any
Of the practical business Of railroad than
they do about Hindostanee. The consequence
il that our railroads have been altogether
behind the age in their management The
travelling public have had just as little accom-
mediation and protection as the companies
could dole out to them, and, wherever an
advantage could be taken Of them, have been
compelled to submit


The city railroads have been run in similar
manner; and, while great public conveniences,
contrive to make themselves great public
nuisances ~ we'll, through the gross faults
Of their managers The people who
ride in street cars have suffered PEN
slties enough ~ set on for the sccomno-
dation afforded them. To obtain . seat In
car during the buslcst hours Of travel "a the
exception, TO lose the contents Of pocket the
rule. The companies, mot content with the
Year: 1867

upon the growing interest in native American
arti Why not seek at home iu multiplying
sourcess Our unrivalled scenery - one mex
haustible source, as many landscspists have
already found Our history, and particularly
the history Of our late civil Wal, u another
abundant source. And we see no good reason
why nature and Life in the United States should
not II oonscientiously studied and reproduced,
lead to distinctive national school Of Aneri-
can art
Year: 1867

privileges conferred upon them, exceed their
charta 'ed rights and make depots in the most
public thoroughfares, TO the obstruction Of all
other bua'ness and the danger Of passengers
Some Of them, being authorized to run to .
street, extenN their rails across and beyond it,
and defeat the very object of the law. In every
way the railroad corporations seem resolved to
test how far public endurance will 60, BY
imposing upon the people who grant them their
charters in every conceivable way.


There may be remedy for these evils The
State may eventually take control of all our
State roads and the city Of all our city roads.
Then ne travelling public might look for
speed, safety, accommodation and civility on
all lines, whether operated by steam or By
horse power. The sentiment Of the people is
tending in that direction, and may take defnita
shape before long, II the great pneumatic systen
does not speedily push all other modes Of


transit OF the stage and bury then beside the
old numbering stage coaches and horse ex-
presses of aformsrage. ss@ 'asst
Year: 1867

Sn0 prOJectS among tne momOer5. CDreWu
politicians at Albany organized and fostered
the business for their own emolument, and
soon gas companies and railroads and private
corporations Of every sort and description
reaped harvest and scattered harvest at the
State capital year after year. The Offices OF
Senator and Assemblyman began TO be
sought after by needy politicians, al
though the legitimate pay was not sufii-
cient TO meet the expenses of q session,
and shrewd men who went to Albany poor left
that city rich. Sporadic attempts were made
TO stop the rushing tide Of corruption and TO
bring offenders to Justice, but the elective sys-
tenn Of Judiciary stood in the background. the
friendly refuge of the briber and the bribed.


That corruption and anarchy have sapped
the very foundations Of our State government
under the existing constitution is evident from
the disclosures and charges made by oficials Of
the same political party against each other. If
we are to credit the statements of Senators who
are known TO echo the sentiments OF the Execu-
tive, the management Of the State canals has
recently been monstrous system Of fraud and
rascality. Yet there Is no power in the Gov
ernor to check or remove the unfaithful ofhcers,
and the investigation into their alleged mall
practices is submitted to the slow and
uncertain operation Of Legislative commit
tee, itself not free from the taint Of sus-
picion. Thus department is set against
department in the State as well as In the city
government, and as there Is no supreme au-
thorisy anywhere, confusion and anarchy must
result.


II we would remove these evils, we must
strike at their root, and that Is to be found In
the organised anarchy and corruption forced
upon US by the Herkimer county politicians
twenty years ago, In the form Of State consti-
tuition. We must 60 back TO the old and sound
principles Of true democratic and responsible
government The Governor Of the State must