Year: 1868

ladies, although when in their presence, he
never opened his mouth when he could help
it, and when he did speak he used both
hands to help him; in fact, no was man
Of 'great actions"


Jacobus, one warm day, fell in love; he
had just graduated at college, and began to
think he must seek tho ladies' society; he
was getting to be man, and it was manly
to have "pcnchant."


So Jack fell in love with the sweetest,
livelicst, most honeyedish girl in the square
but how to tell his love! There was the
rub. lie had heard good deal of the
Language Of the eyes," and he accordingly
tried that, but when lie looked particularly
hard at the window where Miss Emily was
in the habit Of sitting some person on the
other side of the street would invariably bow
to him, thinking he was endeayoring to
catch their eyes. lie has despised eyes
ever since then.


At length Jack obtained an introduction
through his sister, and with her he called
several times, but she was obliged to leave
the city for a reason, and as each interview
Only increased his ardor, he determined on
going it alone. ..


Long before the hour fixed upon by GUS
tom for an evening visit, he found himself
arrayed in his best. Blue coat, metal but
tons, black cashmere pants (said pants being
a little tighter than the skim, and spotless
vest.


The journals of the day state, as an item
Of intelligence, that the thermometer ranged
from IS to SO degrees. Jack swears it was
a hundred.


As the hour gradually drew near, Jack
found courage and Precipitation oozing out
together, and he almost determined to pull
off and stay at home. He concluded, how
ever, he'd take walk past the house and
see how he felt.


BY the time he reached the mansion he
firmly concluded not to 80 in; but on cast
ing his eyes towards the parlor window and
perceivipg no signs, he thought it probable
that no one was at home, and;since he had
proceeded so far, he would proceed farther
aud leave his card.


No sooner determined than concluded.
In reckless moment he pulled the bell
the darned thing needn't make such q
noise.


The door was opened as if by magic and
the servant girl politely asked him in; Miss
Emily was alone in the parlor and would be
delighted to see him.


O, cracky! here was fix Go in dark
parlor with pretty girl alone 1t was too
late to retreat; the girl had closed the front
door, ana was pointing into the parlor where
Miss Emily was.


Being perfectly convinced that no choice
was left him, into the dark room he walked
or Sided. All was perfect chaos to his eyes
for moment; but only for moment
then from the deepest gloom, came forth an
angel voice, bidding him welcome and draw
near" To obey the order was but the work
of moment, as he supposed, but he little
dreamed of the obstacle fate had thrown in
his way. lie knew full we'll That the stream
of love had many ripplcs, but full grown
snags entered not into his head.


Judge then of his astonshment on being
tripped up almost at tho fair ones feet, by
fat stool with plethoric legs, which chance
of careless servant had placed exactly on
the road to happiness. Over he went and
as the tailor had not allowed for any extra
tension of the muscles and sinews, he not
only procured tumble, but also compound
fracture of the black pants aforesaid said
fracture extended all across that point which
comes in closest contact with the chair. -
Having picked himself up as careful as Cir
cumstances would permit, the smothered
laugh of Miss Emily not setting him for
ward any, he at last succeeded in reaching
a chair, aud drawing his coat tails forward
to prevent a disagrceable expose, sat him.
self down with as much grace as bear
would when requested to dance upon pile
of needles.


The young lady was almost suffocatcd
with laughter at the sad misfortune Of the
bashful lover, felt truly sorry for him, and
used all her powers of fascination to drive
it from his mind, and eventually succeeded
so far as to induce him to make remark.
On this rock he split.


Just at that moment she discovered that
she had lost her handkerchief. What had
become of it? She was sure she had it
when he came in. 1t must certainly be
somewhere about. .......


Haven't you got it under you, Mr..


Jacobus ?"


Jack was sure he had not, but poor
Jack, in venturing an answer, could not
possibly get along without raising his hands
of course he must drop his coat tail. In
his anxiety to recover the missing upper he
even ventured to incline his body so as to
get glance on the floor. As he did 80 the
fracture opened, and behold there lay the,
as the lady supposed her property.


It was the work Of moment to catch
tbe coyner and exolain,: ''-'