Year: 1867

Herald at q Masquerade BalI
--HiS own Account.


On account perhaps of the manifold du-


ties always pressing upon US, we have never
! learned to waltz-we have never placed our
arm around a fragile, fairy, fieecy fluctuat-
ing form, and whirlgigged around loose, but
at the Grand Masquerade and Fancy Dress
Ball, on last Thursday night, we happened
to express our regrets at this lamentable
deficiency in our education, to a young,
plump, fresh, and closely dominoed Injun
girl, while we were promenading the vast
hall with the luscius bumpsey-dumpsey.-
She sweety intimated that the hubbub of
such an occasion, when fawr pas would
scarcely be noticed, was the very best time
in the world to learn. We would not ac
knowledge our name if we had backed out
from such an offer, and, as a matter Of
course, we shyly requested her to afford us
the sublimely perpendicular pleasure Of
small lesson, merely for the purpose of get
ting acquainted with each other, and giving
us L relish for our victuals at supper. Sweet
and gorgeous aborigine e-withOut swearing
she'd ne 'er, conscnted-do so. Gently,
delicately, fastidiously and timidly we
placed our arm around her plant waist
and almost wasted away. Her long, raven
locks tickled our elbow. Thousands of mil
lions of spotted beads vibrated and tinkled
around her fairy fo.m, as her bosom rose
and fell to give them melody, like an IEoli-
an harp upon the heaving sea. Her hand
was in ours-as soft as a pussy cat back, as
she silently watches mouse hole at the soft
and witching hour of twilight. Her left
foot was against our right boot. The gaudy
feathers upon her moccasins tickled our
manly knees. Our eyes met. Two soft
and melting glances shot out Of the holes IN
her domino-and coming together in the
middle emitted sparks ike the r. Il. Lee
rounding to at Williams wharf boat on
dark night in the latter part Of December.
Music arose with its voluptuous swell and
drew nearer to us-and we arose with our
voluptuous swell and drew nearer unto the
female redman. Her warm breath was up
Oh our fingers and her long raven hair went
fipnitv-fop over our shoulder. We had
not yet waltzed an inch, and we did nOtcare
a Confederate bond if we never moved from
that spot. till the editor Of the Nicksburg
Herald Joined the Sons of Temperance
We shook back our yellow locks, and lmme-
diatelv the odor of Martha Washington
Hair Restorative, for sale by Hardway q
Co., and all respectable druggists. We
bowed low our editorial head and whisper
ed in voice whose dulcet and mellltuous
notes would have melted the heart OF
deputy constable-"G Gorgeous child Of the
forest. whose ancestors discovered Colum-
bus. would we were a glove upon that hand,
that we might touch that check-would we
were a pair of moccasins upon those feet,
that we might caress thy corns-would we
were a hank of yarn strung with beads, that
we might encircle that form-would we
were a long bunch of raven hair, that we
might flop around that neck-would we
were an open barrel of golden syrup, that
thou might dip thy finger in US and lick it
would we were a coronet, that we might
rest upon that brow-would we were roll
of greenbacks, that we might stay IN thy
pocket-would we were brindle dog, that
we might guard thy wigwam-would we
were a big black rooster tail, that we might
dangle near thy face-would we were an In
dian Chief


This far we spaketh, and she sighed
Her ruby lips did part, and she spakcth,
IF you are done wooding up, we'd better
let in, for the music is wasting away" Our
two hearts beat with such responsive throbs,
that creased case knife could not have en-
tered between the throbs. 1t seemed as If
ten thousand caterpillars were emgrating
up our back, and turtle doves were picking
meal bran out of our ears. Huge sighs of
the size of a rutabago turnip escaped our
lips; heard murmuring brooks, whispering
boughs, and warbling birds, and tinkling
COW bells, and we foated away on a feecy
cloud of one hundred dollar greenback bills.
The music ceased, but the Washington Hall
kent on waltzing. The Indian maid sought
her native forests, and we are carried by our
friends to the Times Office, with a cramp in
the bottom of our feet, and our eyes turned
wrong side outwards.


RGy- That modest and blushing specimen
of newspaper nicely, the Madison Union Is