Year: 1865

thermometer stands at so in the shade, and
we JON with our fellow beings in shedding
tears from the tops of our foreheads, | find
my dlsinterested patriotism fully equal tc
the self abnegation of the remark. that had
rather be cool than be President. Oui
brethren are already in the field why stand
we here idle? Is ice so dear, or peace sc
sweet as to be purchased at the price Of
chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty
Dollars know not what other gentlemen
would have; but as for me, give me liberty
or give me fan. Thus my boy. after the
manner of the departed Patrick Henry, did
| expose myself to the conservative Ken
tucky chap as we stood painting together
in the vestibule of the Treasury Buildings
the other day and says he:


The loyal State of Kentucky, of which
am part, has no objections to warm wealth.
er in the Summer time; provided it is not
indorsed by the fanatical Black Republi-
cans. Warm weather." says the conserva-
tive Kentucky chap, thoughtfulv, is Of
much service to the old rye crop of Kentucky
but Kentucky would forego even her old rye,
rather than sec retarded the movements oil
that army whose constitutional duty it is to
restore the Union not reconstruct it'


The regular list of dead idiots for this
year being not quite full yet my boy, there
are still persons living who can perceive no
very immense difference between Restoring
the Union and Reconstructing the Union ;
which reminds me Of a chaste little incident
that once occurred in the Sixth Ward.


A highly respectable liquor selling chap.
of enlarged stomach and overwhelming shirt.
collar, having Just been elected Alderman.
- ,pfi & l. IL
character, and about two thousand dollars
ludiciouslS invested in electors, gave fash
ionable party to celebrate this triumph OF
the purity Of elections, and invited about
two thirds Of the Fire Department to bring
their wives and sweethearts. Promptly at
nine o'clock, two Hose Companies, of un-
blemished regulations for noise, four Engine
Associations noted for saving one pine table
from the devouring element to every two
Brussels carpets they rdined with water,
three Hook and Ladder Societies greatly
distinguished for climbing into the third
story windows of the building two doors
from the burning domicil, and an equivalent
number Of the cotton hearted women of
America, were on hand in the aldermanic
drawing-rooms. The new public dignitary
received them all with that exquisite bland
ness of demeanor which is so becoming to
great men who have Just made rush from
obscurity: and says he,-


" Make yourself at home now, boys, only
don't spit on the carpet. Ii there's fire
while the swarry is goin' on, I'll let the old
woman listen for the district and announce
it from the airy. Well keep the winders
up, and when the hall-bell rings, you fell
lers as has to leave, can just slip down onto
the front stoop without breaking up the en-
tire swarryn


Here the large hearted aldermanic chap
was called hastily down stairs to attend the
bar, several army officers having just ar.
rived in the ward, and the "swarry" com
menced as merrilv as fire in carpenters
shop. 1t set in ior heavy dance at about
eleven O'Clock, and then were seen as many
elaborate verses in the poetry of motion, as
any pair of eyes could wish to enjoy
I" Fifty's' foreman, who danced with very
pretty dotted muslin. produced a very strik-
ing and picturesque effect by rolling his
inexpressibles up over his boots, and giving
llfe-like imitation of the working of an
engine with his heels and toes; whereupon
the assistant foreman of g Thirty's Truck"
suddenly threw off his dress-co and appear
ed in full red shirt, simultaneously striking
into fine artistic shuttle, intended to imi-
tate the hauling in and reeling up of the wet
hose after confagration. These and other
graceful novelties were greatly admired by
the ladies, each of whom said so many spicy
and spiteful things about the others bare
arms and forward manners, that stranger
might have taken them all for the very
cream of Fifth Avenue or any other Best
Society


cit was about midnight when g Fiftvs"
foreman. growing reckless with the passion
ate splendors of excitement, scuffled away
with his flushed dotted muslin to a luxurious
chintz sofa near one of the windows. and
intemperately whispered in her ear. Miss
Perkins, it were madness for me longer to
conceal my insanity, and to remain silent
would but render me speechless. Here let
me lay my heart and trumpet at your feet,
and"-


She had tainted Ay, sir, swooned


Instantly the whole brilliant saloon was
IN confusion; the dancing ceased, the dust
commenced to settle, and the assistant fore
man of $ Thirty's Truck" was seen to put on
his coat


Bring your hose here, quick. and play
on her facel" shouted Fifty's" foreman,
half-crazed by what he had done. But the
dotted muslin mother now clutched her in
her arms, and says she, 4" Let's get her into
the dressing chamber, and somebody bring a
little sally volatile"


Here another dowager seized an arm of
the faintng girl, and the two bore her ten
derly into the retiring room, followed by
some two or three sympathizing young Ia
dies. And now, my boy, it becomes my
delicate duty to hastily sketch a scene which
the masculine pen cannot too carefully touch
upon. 1t being one of the principles Of
woman.s nature that some relaxations must
be admitted in her toilet before she can re-
ViSe from syncope, the second dowager,
commenced to relieve the fainting fair one of
such articles of fashionable addenda as might
retard her recovery. She took off her side
curls and back hair and laid them upon
table; with great care she removed her
upper teeth and placed them upon a chair !:
softly wettlng corner of her handkerchief
in her mouth she effectually wined avav the
eyebrows and a part of the cheek Of the
young sufferer; and she was proceeding to
make other dissections which / shall dismiss
with the remark that they are merely mat