Year: 1864




HOLD on to your good character, for
it is, and ever will be your best wealth.


WHY is an oyster like horse? Because
it can't climb tree. All, henll


A SLOW pulsation is the sign of long
life, not only in individuals, but in law
suits.


Who was the first carpenter mentioned
in the Bible Pharaoh, when he made
Joseph ratler,


THE fellow who carried bottle of
" old rye" in his pocket, was arrested for
carrying concealed weapon.


81 CAME off with flying colors," as
the painter said when he fell from the
ladder with palette on his thumb.


THERE are over two hundred varieties
of birds, American and foreign, in the
Central Park at New York


WE are commanded to let our light
shine before men the man with red
nose keeps his light shining before him
self.


"Go to bed, sir," said an indignant
parent to an offending son, ego to bed
go lock yourself in and bring me the
key"


If you and your sweetheart vote upon
the marriage question, you for it and she
against it, don't fatter yourself as to its
being tie.


"SIR," said young wife to her hus-
band few days after their marriage,
you were honest enough to tell me that
your chimney smoked, but why didn't
you tell me that you smoked yourselfT


AvoID argument with ladies. In spin
ming yarns among silks and sotiaS, man
is sure to be worsted and twisted. And
when man is worsted and tacisted, he
may consider himself ,cound up.


MANY persons are now anxiously ex-
amining the maps to find the seat of
war" Fubs says that he found it last
summer without map. He discovered
it by sitting down upon wasp's rest in
a hay


IT is an actual fact, that man who at
tempted to hug beautiful young lady
named Miss Lemon, has sued her for
striking him in the eye. He is altogether
unreasonable. Why should he squeeze
lemon unless he wants punch ?


COUNT TRACY complained to Foote
that man had ruined his character
" So much the BETTER" replied the wit,
" for it was very bad one, and the soon
er it lis destroyed the more to your advan-
tage.


AN enthusiastic admirer of the Car
was repeatedly saying to stranger, The
Gar is great" eyes" was the reply,
but God is greater" Ah," exclaim-
ed the Russian, but the Gear is young
er yet."


FooTE one day dined at Richmond
When the landlord produced his bill Foote
thought it very exorbitant, aud asked his
name. Partridge, ant please you, re-
piled the host Partridgep said Foote
it should be woodcock by the length of
your bill"


BROKE THE PLEDGE.-A man living in
Orange county was found one night climb
ing an overshot wheel in fulling mill
He was asked what he was doing. He
said he was trying to get up to bed, but
some how or other the stairs wouldn't
hold still.


AN Irish physician who was called to
examine the corpse of another Irishman,
who had been assassinated by some of his
countrymen. "This person." said he,
after inspecting the body, was SO i'll that
if he had not been murdered he would
have died half an hour before"


"MARY my DEAR" said a doting hus-
band to the lady that owned him, " few
er turn Mormon, and marry another
help-mate, she shall be Mary, too, for
your own dear sake" (" Be content with
one Mary, my duck" said the loving wife !;
I" in my opinion another would be mere
ly s,lper-aeao-mary I"


A CONFEDERATE surgeon who was
beastly drunk when our forces captured
Little Rock, Arkansas, found himself
among the Yankees when he got sober,
and remarked that ii beat Rip Van Win
kle that man couldn't go to sleep in the
Confederate States without waking up in
the United States