Year: 1869

1t cannot be disguised that marriage is an
alarming episode in mans life. Many a brave
fellow who would face battery without finch
ing, and smile amidst the deadliest hail of mus
kerry, finds his heart forsaking him in that magic
moment when be changes from gay bachelor
into sober Benedict. A friend of the reporter
has just passed through the ordeal, and this is
what befell him:


The ceremony was over, and the music and
dancing done. The company bad retired, aud
the bride had sought her chamber. The young
man had been model boy from his youth up
ward. He had learned great many things, but,
having no sisters, he had never learned the mys-
teries of lady's toilet. Like Japanese Tommy,
be thought the amplitude of skirt was designed
to protect large dimensions, and often wondered
TO himself why the sy-faced creatures were not
formed after the fashion Of men. Still the be-
witching face bad power to allure him, and he
was willing to accept it in atonement for what
he supposed to be singular discrepancy in
nature


Ascending the stairs to the chamber, he opened
the door and peeped cautiously in The gas
burned dimly, and wierd shadows played around
the room. With n silent prayer for safety he
entered aud closed the door. On his left the bed
was shrouded in many fold of lace, but beneath
the covering, a form beautiful in its symmetry
On bis right rose a huge pyramid of skirts and
snowy linen. crowned by throng of slender bars
fashioned like bell, and to the uninitiated OBJ
serve-, resembling the old wire cage set every
evening in the pantry as a snare for vermin.


" What the miechiei's that?'' he thought but
he said nothing, restraining curiosity and pro-
ceeding to disrobe. 1t must be confessed how
ever, that his fears was the least bit excited,
and the preparation began to bead his forehead
Approaching the toilet table to lay down his
cravat, his hand struck upon the lower half OF a
human jaw semi-circle of grinning teeth
staring him in the face. He started back in ter
ror, but said nothing, or the simple ejaculation,
"'The devil ~ But it wasn't-only false teeth ;
nevertheless the cold chiis ran over bin, and he
was steadying his hand to unpin his collar,
when his eve encountered two half globes of
some white linen substance, resting on the toilet
table, and great braid of hair, fanked by a
huge coil behind them lie started back sur
prised, bewildered but, as he old so, his feet
struch against a pair of hesh-colored tights sus-
pended from chair, and with their patent calves
and padding, looked like vcritable legs.


Astouishment held him spelbound If all
these were merely adjuncts, what in the name OF
heaven had he married?


He was turning to the bed to inquire when he
stumbled over the hump of Grecian bend, and,
falling, struck a little stand, knocking from it a
tumbler Of water, out of which rolled glass
eye!


'sGracious heaven ~ he frantically calculated,
" is there nothing left of her - and, springiuo
to'his feet, he bounded through the door, calling
for the bridesmaids to come and put his wife to-
gether again His cries for help soon brought
the household around him, to whom he detsiled
his grievances. The assurance that sl was
right, finally pacifed him. and, after much per-
suasion, be went back to his mysterious chamber,
and by this time has probably become familiar
with fashionable toilet.-1SeW Orleans Plea
yune.