smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1859

SYAPArHY MEETING. - We under
stand that there is serious talk among certain
prominent Republicans In this city. Of getting
up 'ynpathy mestiny for old Browns benefit.
1t woul" ba a very easy matter for one to dis.
cover how many OF the Brown stripe we have
in our city If they should get up something of
the kind
Year: 1859

WHAT WE CALL DUTIEs.-Eyery man ought to pay
his debts-if he can.


Every man ought to help his neighbor-if he can.
Every man and woman ought to get married-if
they can.


Every representative of Congress and the State
Legislature ought to inform their constituents what
they are doing-if they can.


Every man should be honest and sober-if lie can.
Every man should do his work to please his Gus.
tomers-if he can.


Every man should please his wife-if he can.
Every wife should rule her husband-if she can.
Every woman should sometimes hold her tongue
If she can.


Every lawyer should tell the truth-if he can.
Every preacher of the Gospel should be Christian
If he can.


Every person may be fool--if he can.


And finally, every reader may add to the above--if
he can.
Year: 1859

81 say Mother" said regular street loater the
other night, after he had deposited something in a
rickety old cupboard, and laid himself down upon the
floor, I" want you to wake me when get dry.n


How shall know when you get dry asked his
mother.


"QA just wake me up any time I'm always dry "
Year: 1859

NEW EDITION OF A ToAsT-Jones was NOT sipsy
the other night, when became bis duty at the pro-
per stage of the proceedings to give the regular toast
to Woman, for be said so afterwards He proceeded


9 Oh Woman in our hours OF ease,


Uncertain, coy and hard to please


But-but-sesa too oft, familiar with her face


We first endrre, then ply. then embracen
Year: 1859

they may deem cxpcdicnt.


The advocates ofthis bill attempt to sus-
tain their position upon the language of
the second clause of the third section of
the fourth article of the Constitution, which,
declares that Z" the Congress shall have
power 20 dispose of, and make all necdful
rules and regulations respecting the terri
tory or othcr property belonging to The
United States" They contend that. by
this clause, Congress possesses the power
to fair Interpretation of the words "dsa
pose OF" i'll make this gift of public lands
to the States for purposes of education.


1t would require clear and strong evil
dcncc to induce the belief that the trainers
OF the Constitution, after having limited
the powers of Congress to certain, precise
aud specific objects, intended, by employ
ing the words dispose of" to give that
body unlimited power over the vast public
domain. 1t would be strange ariomaTy
Indeed, to have created two funds, the one
by taxation confined to the execution of
the enumerated pswers delegated to Con
Srcss, and the other from the public lands,
applicable to all subjects, foreign and do
mestic, which Congress might designate.
That this fund should be " disposed Of"
not to pay the debts of the United States,
nor to raise and support armies, nor to pro-
vide and maintain navy, nor to accom-
pllsh any one of the other great objects
enumerated in the Constitution but BE
diverted from them to pny the debts of the
State, to educate their people, and to carry
INTO effect any other measure of their do
mestic policy. This would be to confer
upon Congress vast and irresponsible au-
thority, utterly at war with the well known
jealousy of federal power which prevailed
at the formation of the Constitution. The
natural intendment would be that, as the
Constitution confined Congress to wcll,de-
ined specific powers, the funds placed at
their command, whether in land or money,
shoald be appropriated to the performance
OF the duties corresponding with these pow
crs. Hnot, government has been created
with all its other powers carefully limited,
but without any limitation in request tu
the public lands


But ! cannot so read the words dis
pose OF" as to make them embrace the
idea OF giving away" Phe true mean
ing OF the words is always To be ascertaincd
by the subject to which they arc applied
and the known general intent of the law
giver. Congress is a trustee under the
Constitution for the people of the United
States to dispose Of" their public lands,
and think may venture to assert with
confidence, that no case can be found in
which trustee in the position of Congress
has been authorized to " dispose of by
ITS owner, where it has ever been held that
these words authorize such trustee to give
away the fund entrusted to his care.
Year: 1859

SECTION 1. Be IL enacted by tie General
Assembly Of the State Of Ohio, That each
county commissioner shall be allowed two
dollars and fifty cents per day, for each and
every day that he may be employed in his
official duties, and Eve cents per mile in GO


ing to and returning from the county seat
for each regular or called session, not ex.
ceeding in the whole eight sessions in any
one year. to be paid out OF the county treas.
ury upon tho warrant OF tho county auditor,
except in counties in which, by the last fed.
Year: 1859

While | was watching them below, feel
ing very sorry for my poor master, I was
startled by wild laugh from Colly, who
began making catcalls, and yelling us II ht
was possessed. Then knew, of course, that
he was gone mad. 5" -~,.."..4


Even now, hemble when think Of thai
time it was horrible to peer down the shaft
black and sooty and yuwning, and scarcely
less so to look outside and see flight of pi'
geous sweeping round at considerable LEST
height than we were. Then ColIy-thank K
God he was SO dazed that he could not see
me--called my name three times, and sal
fairly eringing in dread that his sight nigh,
clear, and with ghOstIy grin, and chewin
with his mouth, he began working himself
toward me.
| worked away from him as noiselessly ar
! could, with every hair Of my head standing
on end. He followed me twice round that
horrid coping, making most hidsous noises,
and then being come second time to the
rod, he got an idea in his muddled head that
l was fallen over, for he never lost sense
OF where he was all through this trying time.
Then he tried to get on his feet but at the
risk Of my own life, could not let the poor
fellow rush on certain death without one
more effort and l cried out for him to sit
down, and he covered down like whipped
dog, all trembling. suppose it had been
put into his head that l was q dead man
speaking to him.


That morning my wife had got a letter
from her sister in Canada, and as there were
parts we could not make out, l had put it in
my pocket, intending to get our time. keeper
to read it for me. 1t had scrap Of uncov.
cred paper at the bottom and, by another
good providence happened to have bit of
red lead.pencil in my pocket. l wrote on
the paper, "Get us down-Colly's gone
mad 5" this, I shut in my tobacco-box, and
was fortunate enough 10 throw it just at the
feet of couple of men who were standing
by the engine house door.


Directly all was hustle to rescue us. They
got the kite up ogaiu, and watched it
mounting slowly, slowly and when the
slack twine fell between Colly and myself,
took it in my hand and could have kissed
it. Poor Colly, with his teeth cha,tering,
still fancied l was spirit, and did all I
could to favor that idea until they got an
other cradle up TO US. Then, having got
him in, scrambled in myself, and clutching
him fast, shouted for them to lower and
so We were got down. he wrestling aud fight
ing with me all the way.


He was in the mad. house for some months,
and then went to scavengering, for he never
could face any height again and have
never had the same clear head since that ad
venture.
Year: 1859

One of the Peter Funk "Gift Enterprise y
firms in large city, sent package of tick
cts to postmaster in Maine, the postage OF
which was fifteen cents unpaid. They 20,
the following hard rap over the knuc les
from the indignant official:


II herewith return your tickets. You
must be fools as we'll us knaves to suppose
that I will aid you in swindling my neigh
bors. and pay all erpenses myself"


To which he in a few days, received the
annexed 'settler:'


"Sir We perhaps owe you an apology
for sending the parcel, postage unpaid.


GAS we infer from the phraseology o.
your note, that you are willing to swindle
your neighbors il we will pay all the ex
penses, please give US your lowest terms or
which you will act as our agent.


"P. S.-All communications shall be
strictly confidential"


This note was promptly returned, with the
following endorsement across its face, by
the postmaster:


" 1t seem that you are not only fools and
knaves, but blackguards, also. Ask my
neighbors if they think I would swindle
them either at my own expense or that o.
any one else."


To which this answer came back by mex
mail


awe have enquired of your neighbore
long ago, and that's the reason we applied
to you in the first instance"


Here follows the postmaster's final reply


I" I acknowledge the corn. Send US you
street and number, so that can call on you
when I come to the city, and I may concl cludt
to aid your Enterprises"


But that was the last thing that the Gift
gentleman could think of doing. In fac,
secrecy as to his locality was quite essent:a
in keeping out Of the clutches of the police.
Year: 1859

A gentleman ordered suit of clothes
from toior, and specially enjoined him
that they must be made by the next Tues
day, and that they must be made in the
finest style and that, unless the tailor could
have them ready to certainty, beyond
peradventure, to the day, that he must not
undertake them ; but Snp promised faithful
ly that they should be finished ad diem
Tuesday came and no clothes the enrag ed
gentleman flew to the cabbage mans house
and said


"What's the reason that my clothes were
not ready as you promised ? Here you have
kept me in the city at loss of time and
business, only to disnppont me now, if we
had you in our part Of the country, tell you
what they would coll you they would say
you were perfect squirt"


The knight of the goose explained that
the only competent workman he had capable
of making the suit, had q wife lying at
deaths door, and he could not possibly
leave her.


The outraged gentleman was uot able to
smother his disappointment, and berated the
tailor soundIy for failing in his positiy 9
promise. ..a


The ninth fraction of the genus homo
could not stand this and plainly told his Gus.
toner to 60 to the caloric regions of Pande-
monium. ... .s.-.


The customer, red with rage, rushed
across the street to lawyer. and in an excl
ted, vehement and hurried manner, said


"Do you know Snip, the tailor, across
the way here :"


"Yes, know him." answered Brief


"Well, now, want your ADVICE" said
the gentleman 81 want to know what you
would do in such case. That Infamous
stitch-louse has not only kept me here
in the city on expense, to the great detri-
ment Of my business, and disappointed me in
a suit of clothes, but, when went to re.
monstrate with the fellow about 1t, what do
you suppose the impudent rnscal told me
He told me to 60 to h-ll |" With these
words the gentleman laid ten dollar bill
on the desk and said "Now what would
you do :" .........


"Do you mean this for retainer I" said
Brief.


81 do," was the reply.


"Then," said Brief, quietly folding up the
x and putting it in his pocket, she told you
to 90 to h-lll Well, my opinion and ad.
vice to you is, don't you do it. There isl
moreover, no statute or local law that can
compel you to a specific performance. !
say don't you do it."- Cincinnati Enquirer.
Year: 1859

l like to see young man fond Of la
dies society. l like to see the ladies en-.
courage young men, more On account Of
their characters, than their good clothes.
- ! like to see a young man wear his old
coat until he can afford to buy a new one.


I like to see economy without mean
ness: when you are invited to ride. It's as
little as you can do to pay the toll.


I like to see mans income exceed
his expenditures; It's more disreputable
10 be seen in the custody Of an officer.
than to be considered poor.


I like to see young man attend to his
business first, and pleasure afterwards.


! like good reputation; it is the best
capital in any business.


I like sincerity-the genuine article,
not the counterfeit Of hypocrisy.
Year: 1859

FOxED AND CATNIPPED.-A Frenchman who re-
sides near Empire Ranch, killed fox last week.
and buried it in the snow to make it recherche for
food, and procuring dozen bottles of wine, in
vited his neghbors to a rabbit dinner The fox
was cooked and served in style; the wine was
drank and the party separated, hilarious and
rich Soon, it became known that the rabbit was
a fox; spirit of revenge was excited, and one of
the deceived came to town and purchased some
choice meats and liquors, which he carried before
the friend who furnished the fox dinner, and in
vited him TO an a Ia made de mutton All right
he then went home, killed his cat and cooked it
for the special guest, and cooked the mutton for
the others All praised the mutton and the wine
none expressed so much qualification as the cat
eater. The denouement gives the laughing ad
vantage, thus far, to those who ate the fox
Sierra Citizen,
Year: 1859

DECIMAL TESTIMONY. Y.-There is also another
important custom, or feature which distinguishes
all nations of the earth and which would seem to
mark common or cotempcraneous origin. There
has been found no tribe or people who have ADOPT
cd system of numerals that do not proceed in
decimal repettions, or regular SUGGESTIONS of
tens, and pause at the tenth repetition or one
hundred, TO recommence this decimal repetition,
till it reaches Il thousand. When we consider
the facility with which abstruse mathematical
calculations are performed by this system of dec-
nal numbering, and which would be infinitely
tedlous by the choice Of any other number, il is
surprising that even the most ignorant and unlet-
tered tribes should have been led to its adoption
apparently through instinct, yet, undoubtedly
through primitive knowledge, faint traces Of
which nave been carried away from the parent
stock. and preserved in traditionary lessons,
through ages of darkness. There arc also con-
siderable number OF words which have preserved
their meaning, and similarity Of sound, and
which mark more strongly still an era in human
history when all mankind possessed q common
language and country Theology and science
both point to this era in the existence of the
world, and dating from that period, what field
is furnished for the imagination 10 trace the
gradual progress from primitive ignorance to
the light of the present day. Human intelligence
gathering power in every new conquest over er-
ror, and aided by the press which perpetuates its
victories, emerges from the darkness in which it
long slumbered, but still leaves behind the tra-
ees Of its unity of origin and its vigorous pro-
gress.- Yreka Union.
Year: 1859

ORDER INcREAsED.-Applying, as usual, to
Greenhood Il Newbaucr for copy Of the Sacra-
mento Standard we were Informed that every
copy of large package received had been sub
scribed for; the best they could do was to loan q
copy to be returned, until an increased order had
been received. We are glad of this; we rejoice
that this community appreciate editorial desert.
The Standard is the ablest political paper in the
State, and is free from that offensive vitupera tion
which many political writers mistake for argu-
ment. Obtain the paper, and if you do not agree
with this Judgment, consider US a person of bad
taste.
Year: 1859

rss- 1t is worthy of note, that the discov.
cry OF valuable quartz leads throughout the
State, in the six months last past. have been
far more numerous than in the same time at
any previous period gratifying fact. that
this destined dominant miniag interest of the
state is receiving much mere attention than
formerly.
Year: 1859

SERVED THE Fool RIGHT.-Five years
since, a farmer In Illinois. notwilhstand-
ing all his neighbors insisted he was play
ing the fool, set out on his farm one thou
sand peach trees, and this season he was
offered ten thousand dollars for the crop
which he afterwards sod IN the lot for
fourteen thousand dollars. ANY man
that will be fool enough to raise fruit
ought TO be served just SO.
Year: 1859

wv E have the largest stock of extra fine Gus
w tom made goods of any house in the State.
Everything in the furnishing line for gentlemen,
and as we manufacture our own goods, and i'm
port direct from our house 4l6 Broadway, New
York. we are able and willing to sell cheaper
than any other house matter who they are
Remember that we sell for cash, and cash only,
and one price. $4,000 worth of goods, whole
sale OF retail.


December 25th, 185S.-3m
Year: 1859

Eir- At the solicitation Of friends, and with II
desire for the portion, feeling fully competent TO
discharge the duties, announce myself candidate
for the office Of Superintendent of Police at the
ensuing election. pledge my undivided atten
ton to it, should it be the pleasure Of my fellow
citizens to elect me. SAMUEL BEACH.


oh
Year: 1859

Ma. DOUGLAS ON TouR.-Hon. Stephen A. Douglas, as we learn from oal exchanges, is busily engaged in "a labor of love" for his own political success. Il seems 10 have become the chief desire oI his mind to be somebody's candidate for the Presidency. His latest political phase looks exclusively to the North for "aid and comfort" The Washington Sfar says that ",he political labor of his Doug lasfs) present tour is to fix his doctrine of squatter sovereignty more firmly in the hearts of the people in States wherein the Opposition are in the ascendency. Yet alarmed at the reception ut the South ol his las. bid for abolition sympathy, Ire is again approaching that section of the Con. federacy with honeyed phrases, in none of which, however, does he take back his declaration of adherence to the doctrine that the squatters in Territories may law fully deprive the citizens of Southern States of coequal rights in the common property of oll the sovereigns of the Amer ican Union. On the contrary, he classes those who maintain that squat,ers have no such power under the law and Constitu- sion-the whole South-in a category with those at the North who claim the right of Congress to interfere against the existence of slavery in the Territories which he now holds 10 be the right only of squatters; maintaining, also, that the courts of the United States may not raise fin- ger by way of interfering with the opera sion of any 'unfriendly legislation" with reference to the coequal rights of the South, to which the squatters may resort in the prosecution of the purposes of the Emi- grant Aid Societies sending them out. Such is the platform MT. Stephen Arnold Douglas has erected for himself. In mounting 1t. he has deliberately bartered the votes of every slaveholding State for the votes of such at the North as may fancy his phase of abolitionism more than the less insidious phase of it involved in the platform of Senator Seward"
Year: 1859

The Democrats of the Assembly who adhere
to the regular organization, met in caucus and
passed resolutions approving the old-fashionc
Democratic mode of settling personal preferen-
ences by friendly caucuses. They resolved to
nominate no one for Office who was not sup
porter of the Administration, and unpledged to
support any man or clique for the future They
declare that,


-''the nomination for Speaker, should not
be considered an expression of preference, by
the Democrats of the Assembly for any prom
inent Democrat nor shall such nomination be
considered as a mark of hostility, on our part
to any Democrat in this State and we deprecate
and utterly condemn any attempt to force a
anan-issue upon ourselves, and, through us, upon
the Democratic party of the State.


In evidence of which, and, in order to prevent
any man or clique claiming victory in the re-
suit of the election of Speaker, they resolved to
have their resolutions published.


The Anti-Lecompton Democrats of the Legis-
lature, in joint convention, also passed resolu-
tions declaring the Cincinnati Platform to be
" the true and only legitimate test of true Ma
tional Democracyn-re-e endorsing the platform
adopted by the Democratic State Convention,
presided over by Humphrey Grifith-reaflirm-
ing that the principles embodied in the Kansas
Nebraska Act lie at the very foundation of De-
as an able and fearless champion of these
principles, and assuring him of their " earnest,
unwavering support"
Year: 1859

POETRY FOR SALE.-A young man from the
Bald Hills country, called in our Office on We'd
nesday and offered to sell US large amount of
original poetry on the most favorable terms. In
order to give us taste of its beauty and merit,
he repeated about sixty stanzas of poem con-
tsining one hundred and twenty-five He in
formed us that he had another, intended for
Sunday School children, of four hundred and
seventeen verses, six lines each, which he would
repeat 70 us-but which, owing to urgent bust
ness, we declined hearing. He offers to fill q
column per week for the very reasonable salary
of 500 per month. If our friends Of the Col
drn Era, or those of Hutctmgs Magazine, feel
disposed to encourage youthful genius of this
peculiar and wonderful sort, they can communi-
cate through Us.
Year: 1859

The COokeyille Times of the 29th ult., has the
following in regard to elOpemsnt case noticed in
this paper some weeks ago.


IS it may be of some interest to our readers TO
know the sequel Of the elopement of a white girl
with free negto q few weeks ago in DeKalb coua-
ty, we would say that were informed by gentleS
man Cf that county that the girl returned after
few days, and that the negro is in Jail await his
trial
Year: 1859

A UCTI0NEER AND GENERAL AGENT, would ofe1h


services the pubc for the sale Of Real Estse
Negroes Furniture, Dry Goods Groceries, species
property either in town country Being determined to de
time the above business and having had considerable
experiences Hatter myself that give satisfaction
who may favor in that line always be found the
Counting Room OF the Patrio 0ce, where my absence
defs NAV left
Year: 1859

SBAsTA COUNTY AFFAlRs.--The Grand Jury
of Shasta county, recently made report which
is not very complimentary to the county Off
cials. The county hospital, they say, under its
present management has become disgrace to
a civilized community. The report also finds
fault with the Official acts of the Clerk, Public
Administrator, District Attorney, aud Tax Col
lector, and closes as follows:


"Tbe Jury are compelled to notice the ine'
briate state in which the presiding officer Of the
Court of Sessions was during their empannel
and In such a state keeping jurors and witness
es in criminal cases waiting from day to day
thereby unnecessarily and outrageously adding
to the large debt, under which the county is la
boring"