Year: 1864

know IL ism my present style, Out " was


those days. and | ain just as much as


touisbed when thiuk Of it as anybody
else can be. The truth was, that fought


with every boy in the neighborh ood, no


matte, what his size; and as my father


was man of peace, and stood high in the


meeting, it was followed that my pugna-


city was something that gave him great


uneasiness.


"One day had openly announced my


intention to fghta certain neighbor's


son, wherever l might meet him, aud the


announcement met my fathers ears, and


was quickly followed by his declaration


that il did so. l might expect, for a


certainty. thrsshing in return. The


threat did not deter me. and that evening


| thrashed and was thrashed in return. 1


was mad with excitement, and after the


infection was over, rushed from the house


swearing audibly that would never re-


turn, All the money l had was less than


half 9 dollar, and with this, after walk


ing the streets till nearly midnight,


| found my way to Il miserable lodging


house, situated on one Of the streets run


ing down to the Hudson River, and ev-


rybody that knows New York, knows


that some of those lodging houses are
especially miserable. There, for the sum


of two shilling. all told, l was furnished


with w'etched supper, and a still more


wretched bed in a hole which they called


\ room, and which had only this merit,


that was left alone to myself On this


wretched couch | tossed wildly about, at


one moment denouncing all mankind, at
another almost resolving on sending my


self out OF the world and so end the agony


| was ID. Ia fact. so far did | carry this


last idea, that | drew from my pocket a


large clasp knife, and laid it on the floor


beode me, ready for use when my courage


should reach the sticking point.


II think it must have been nearly
morning, when my head was burning


with ed hot madness, that a noise
commenced in the next room to me-
Room, call it, though if like mine, it
was merely den of eight feet BY ten,
divided off with a single partition OF
boards. At first it sounded like two per-
sons struggling silently, bnt by and by |
could hear curses and blows, that fell
with the heavy thud so peculiar to the
sound of the fist upon flesh. This reused
all my passion, and strained my eyes
to the chinks between the boards that
| might see the brutal work going on,
but there was no light what ever. The
blows came heavier, and were accompan-
led with groans. and repeated oaths, un-
til | shivered between An agony of terror
and desire to wreck my wild passions up.
no whoever was disturbing my soitude.I
beat with the handle of my knit upon the
boards. but still the noise grew worse,
occasionly ceasing or receding, and then
once more coming directly over the spot
where the head of my wretched couch
touched the partition, and n heavy body
would be thrown SO as to make the week
boards tremble. l could stand it on
longer. and with one desperate howl Of
rage. threw myself against the planks,
and gave as | did so a wild thrust with
my knife, The blade struck the weak
and rotor wood, and went through clear
up to the handle without resistance,
breaking a hole through after the blade,
and made ma conscious that something
warm and wet covered both hands and
knife With an instinct of horror, |
sprang away from the spot and towards
the twelveinch aperture that answered
for window, and let in a most limited


light from an alley, and held up knife and
hand to its pane. II was blood, fresh,
warm and reeking. covering my hand to
The wrist. and running down in trickles
% my sleeve and breast. ] stood for an
Instant stricken with awe, and was con-
'cious Of allow, fearful death moan
grow ng fainter and fainter, and even as
stood, staining my ears, it ceased alto
5ether, and there was utter silence. Then
knew that l was murderer. and a
,old, shudderiug fear fell all over me.
making me in few moments as frozen
~ had been before burning. Now what
must do? ! could not await there the
morning light, to be hanged before
gaping crowd within few weeks. No!
md without caring whittier l went, I
tole out of the losthsome hole, and into
he street, had thrown down the knife
IN lhe floor as soon as discovered the
blood, and now, with dumb, stupid ter
or, hurried on through street after
street, hiding my CORY hand under my
lalf unbuttoned vest, until the constraint
If the position csamped me with pain
All that day. without food, crouched
wood pile upon one of the warvos,
hivering at every sound; but hunger,
when the night came. drove me FORTH
With few cents I had remaining,
ought bakers, and with my bloody
land thrust still farther beneath my vest,
md extending the money with the other,


asked bread. There was no one to pay
attention to my request; the i
nan behind the counter. was too busy