Year: 1863

During the Revolutionary War, when a
corps of the American army was encamped
near the borough of Elizabethtown, N. j.;
an officer, who by the way, was more of a
devotee of Venus than of Mars, paid his ad-
dresses to a lady Of distinction, who he was in
the habit of visiting nightly, in the cultiva-
tion of the kindly feelings which love so cor
daily inspires. On discovery of a repeated
absence of the officer, and of the place where
interviews with his dulcinea were had, some
waggsh friends resolved to play off a hand
some trick at his expense, which should deter
him from repetition Of his amorous visits.


The officer, it appears, rode very small
horse of the pony kind, which he always left
united with the reins over his neck, near the
door, in order to mount and ride off without
delay, when courting and kissing were over /;
and the horse always remained until backed
by the owner, without changing his position.
On certain dark and gloomy night, when
the officer had as usual, gone to pay his devo-
tions to the object of his dearest affections and
was enjoying approving smiles of the lovely
fair one, his waggsh companions went pri-
vately to the door of the house where the
officer was, took his bride and saddle from
the horse which they sent away, placed the
bride on the TAIL the saddle on the back, and
the crupper over the horns of quiet old cow,
who stood peaceably chewing her cud, near
the spot. Immediately thereafter, they re-
tired some distance from the house, and sepa-
rating, raised the loud cry of alarm, that the
enemy had landed and were marching into
the village.


Our hero ON hearing this, took counsel from
his fears, and snatching hasty kiss, he shot
out of the door with the velocity of a musket
ball, and mounted into the saddle, with his
back towards the head of the cow, and plung-
ing his sharp spurs keenly into her sides,
caused her to bawl out with excessive pain
and darted off in her best gallop towards the
camp. The officer still plying his spurs with
all his. wine and love on board-fnding him
self hurried backwards, maugre of all his eff
forts to advance; and hearing the repeated
bawls of the tortured beast, imagined that he
was carried off by magic, roaring mostlustily
that the devil had got him-was thus carried
into the very centre Of the camp.


Firo -pentinel, hearing the noise. discharged
their. pieces and fed; and alarm gums were
fired-the drums beat to arms, the officers left
their quarters and cried, turn out out with
all the strength of their lungs. The soldiers
started from their sleep as if a ghost had
crossed their dream-and the whole body run
ming half naked formed quickly in gallant
dishabille, and prepared to repel the invader.
When, 10 the ludicrous sight soon presented
itself to their eyes, of the gallant officer,
mounted on cow, with his face towards her
tail. Her tongue hanging out-her sides
CORY with the gouging of the spurs, and he
himself almost deprived Of reason, and half
petrifed with horror.


A loud roar of laughter broke from the as
sembled band, at the rider and his steed-the
whole corps gave him three times three hearty
cheers as he bottled into camp. He was car
ried to his quarters in triumph, there to dream
of loves metamorphoses, backward rides,
sternway advances, and alarms of invasion
and thereby to garnish his mind with ma
terials for writing a splendid treatise on the
novel adventures of cow story.