smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1869

Why do girls kiss each other, and men not?
Because girls have nothing better to kiss, but
men have.


Why are young ladies at the breaking up of
party like arrows? Because they cannot go
off without beau, and are still in a quiver till
they get one.
What is the difference between girl and
night-cap? One is born to wed, and the other
is worn to bed.
Why are young widows like band of Ethio-
plan minstrels? Because they do not stay long
in black.
What is the difference between barber and
a mother? One has razors to shave, and the
other shavcrs to raise.
! Why is a prudent man like pin2-Because
his head prevents him going too far.
Year: 1869

A high authority announces that the fash
nable expression of the mouth during the
next season isto be that of weariness and scorn!
Ofcourse this is for Authorizations for gentle
men not out yeti Lips will be worn pale-co-
raj cooring's quite pqSse. Elbows worn square,
and brought forward as much as possible to
make the chest hollow Checks to be tinged
with a hectic flush. BlueeycS and fair hair
still considered Indispensable.
Year: 1869

4 Young man seated at dinner, the other
day. said to his wife


II Ellen, if you are good at guessing, here Is
a conundrum for you If the devil should lose
his tail, where would he go to get another
one?"


After some time spent in guessing, she gave
it up.


. Well" said he, "where they retail
spirits"


Eager to get it of, She haatencd to a lady
friend with:


"Oh, Marian have such nice conundrum !
Joe Just told me of it. know you can't guess
it: If the devil should lose his tail, where
would he go to get one.


Her friend Marion having given it up she
said


where they sell liquor by the glass."
Year: 1869

ECONoMY IN A FAMILY.-TherG is nothing
which goes so far towards placing young pco-
pie beyond the reach Of poverty as economy in
the management Of their domestic affairs. 1t
matters not whether man furnish little or
much for his family, if there is a continua!
leakage in his kitchen or in the parlor; It runs
away he knows not how, and that demon W aSte
cries more, like the hOrsGleCch' : daughter, un-
til he that provided has no more to give. ltlS
the husbands duty to bring into the house,
and it iSthc duty of the wife to sec that none
goes wronCfullv ont of it-not the least article,
however unimpOrtant in itself, fDr it establishes
a precedent; nCr under any prctcnce, tor 1t
oprns the door for Ruin to stalk in, and he
! seldom leaves an opportunity unimprovcd. A
! man gets wife to look after his affairs, and to
assist him in his Journey through life, to cdu-
cate and prepare his children for a proper sta
ton in life, and not to diSsipate his property.
The husbands interest should be the vile :
care, and her greatest ambition carry her no
further than his welfare or happiness, together
with that of her children This should be heI
sole aim and the theatre of her exploits in the
bosom of her family, where she may do as
much towards making a fortune as he can ii
the counting house or the workshop. 1t IS no.
the money earned that makes a man wealthy
it is what he saves from his earnings. A
good and prudent husband makes deposit OF
the fruits of his labor with his best friend


and if that friend be not true to him, what has


he to hope? If he dare not place confidence


in the companion of his bosom, whore is he tC


place it? A wife actsnot for herself only: bu


She is the agent of many she loves, and she il


bound to act for their good, and not for he


own gratifcation Her husband good is thr


end to which she should aim-his appreciation


is her reward. Self-gratifcation in dress. o


Indulgence in appetite, or more company thar
, his purse can well entertain, are equally PERM
cious. The first adds vanity to extravaganza
the second fastcns doctors bill 10 a lonj


butcher account, and the latter brings intem
perance, the worst of all evils, in its train.
Year: 1869

New Haven harbor is very shallow and constantly filling up, making long wharves indispensable for any commerce by water. A writer in the Journal. says the cause of this filling up is the current of Q9nnipiac and Mill rivers uniting and passing the end of Long wharf, there meeting the cur rent from the West river, which is pre- vented from taking its natural course out of the harbor by sand pits and islands at its mouth, and the flow of these rivers be- ing checked and suspended, the mud and sand brought down by them is deposited in the harbor instead of being carried into the Sound. The writer proposes to reme- dy this evil by damming West river, so that it will deliver it's current against the West side of Long wharf, or by cutting a channel for it directly out of the harbor. This improvement, he thinks, will make New Haven one of the best harbors on the coast.
Year: 1869

WHAr SLAcxrp LIME WILL De.---A thrifty farmer, believing in making old things last in :a.sss i,Enes, says: There is one thing that nearly every body knows, and hardly anybody attends to--that is, to sprinkle lime on their roofs once year, either in fall or spring. If the shingles are covered ever go thick with moss, the lime soon clears 1t off, leaving the roof clean and white, and good for a dozen years longer IL ought to be put on pretty thick, and rHiny day is best for the work. Strong wood ashes will answer almost as well to keep old roofs in repair, but they will no, look as nice. To make new shingles last three 5r four times the uSnal reriad thAv need only to be soaked a few days in q tank half full of thick lime water, which must be stirred up well before the shingles arc pu; inn
Year: 1869

BEAUTIFUL SESTndEgTe-We clip the fol- lowing beautiful sentiment from an exchange

 Sorrow sobers us and makes the mind gen tie. And in sorrow we love and trust our friends more tenderly, and the dead become dearer to us. And just as the stars shine out in the night, SO there gre blessed faces that look at us in our grief, though before their features were fading from our recollec- ton

 Suffering Let no man dread it too much because 1t is better for him and 1t will help to make him sure of being immortal It is not in the bright happy days, but only in the solemn night, that otherw0rds are to be seen shining in the long, long distance. And it Is in sorrow--the night of the soul-that we see the farthest and know ourselves na- tives of the infinite, and sons and daughters of the Most High.
Year: 1869

HERE is very honest admission from the Ohio Siats Jo'sryal, the organ of the Radical party at the State Capital:

 "Nlore money has been wasted and stolen during the past year by incompetent aud dis honest officials, than would pay the civil ex- penses of the government tor the next four yea-s.s
Year: 1869

FIGHTING CHICAGO BRoEERs.--A very disgraceful
afrair occurred during the meeting OF the Board Of
Trade this afternoon between two members thereof.
This s not the nrst time that members have resorted
10 blows over some little dispute that common sense
and little respect for the dignity OF the Board
should prevent the part OF any gentleman, and u
is about time some steps were taken 10 prevent
these trough and tumble' Nights There are few
men IN the Board who appear TO delight IN being
principals IN some disturbance and attempt 70 settle
their differences by force OF arms. Heretofore we
have refrained from giving any undue publicity to
these disturbances but they nave become so common


that IL necessary and we shall speak OF them here
after just would OF any other outrageous pro-
ceeding. One X. NJ Cannon dsgraced himself this
afternoon by deliberately knocking down and other
wise maltreating Mr. Mayo seymour, because the
latter person asked the former for difference due
him, and threatened in case he did not pay TO have
him expelled from the Board. Mr. Cannon mas been
unfortunate and recently failed, and we presume
the threat to expel nm from the Board raised MS
temper 10 Fahrenheit; but he ought TO have had
more respect for himself az an individual and for
the Board OF Trade az body than TO have resorted
~ blows. We were not enabled TO learn the full
particulars; bat "the hghr' was the subject OF con-
versation at the evening meeting, and many pron


nent members expressed themselves az disgnstcd
with Cannons action; 70 that we infer that he was
10 blame.-CHicdoo Rrnnhb1n r"e 25
Year: 1869

From the McGregor Qowa) News, June 1871


The Coroners inquest over the body OF one OF the
murdered Hagerty family adjourned on Monday
night to meet again to-day. Andrew Thompson,
the suspected murderer was placed upon the wit
ness stand, but refused to reply to any question,
even to the question. "ls your name Andrew Thomp-
SOM" Nothing positive was ELECTED from the wit
Hagerty family were murdered On the ADJOURN
ment OF the inquest Thompson was placed
in safe keeping, and In the meantime
the prosecution headed by Judge Murdock,
continued their outside Investigations for evidence
Of tue guilt or innocence Of the accused. We learn
that the search has proved so far successful to
make Thompson's convection certain. His portrait
him travelling with the family after they left
McGregor. Also the team he drove, and other incl
dents can now be proven beyond cavil. IL seems
that he took the family In a covered sleigh, and
travelled with them over the country towards Cass-
vile; not going into houses 70 stop over night
but camping out. The places where he camped
have been discovered, and also where he burned
Bottles have also been found at one OF these camp
ing places which are supposed to contain strychnine
IL Il supposed that the nend either poisoned the
family or strangled them, then threw their bodies
into the river and returned with the trunks con-
tanning their goods, and crossing the river north Of
McGregor on his return home put them In the river
near where they were found. The body OF the other
boy has also been found IN the river the place
1t was thrown In. Thus q whole family consisting
OF pregnant mother and three bright active chill
dren, have been deliberately and cruelty murdered
one a beautiful girl OF fifteen years-the motive or
the murder perhaps, being the evasion or the pay
ment OF a debt OF a few hundred dollars Thomp-
safely guarded lie will have an examination on
Mouday.
Year: 1869

From the Lambertville (N. J.l Beacon, June 25.l


On Tuesday night OF last week the officers OF our
bank supposed the bonds and money in their vault
were not to be reached by fire or burglars. They
had introduced as they thought. iron walls through
which the one could not devour its way, and which,
with the locks that closed them up, were imper-
vous 10 the most cunning ingenuity or the oJher.
They have large burglar and fire proof vault,
with outside doors and two inside folding doors,
and an inside burglar proof money safe. and all the
doors have combination dial locks. But trying
70 open their vault on Wednesday morning the on
GERS found that one OF the locks would not open,
and sending Tor the manufacturer OF the
safe II required him and assistant nearly
all that night TO open the vault. Upon
breaking In and examining the locks they
ioSnd that some burglars had al some previous time
put Indicator under the DIAL and with 10 had as.
certalned the number on which the lock was set,
and opened IT, so that tney could distinguish from
the marks OF the indicator what number would
move the first two locks. The Indicator was found
on the inside OF the third lock. which the burglars
failed TO open. Had they succeeded IN opening the
third lock, the money, bonds &C.. IN the bank would
all nave been carried away, and we would be com.
PEELED 10 record one OF the most adro bold and for
our community. disastrous robberles ever known In
this vicinity IL seems an entirely provldental cir.
cumstance that the burglars did not succeed In car
rying OF the treasure.
Year: 1869

Near the saw mill of the Du buque
Lumber Company was moored last
evening a wretched raft about 10 or 20
feet in area, constructed of a parcel OF
old plank, the surface of which rose no
more than two inches above the water.
On this frail structure the occupants
had raised a ridge pole about five feet
high. and placing against it small
pieces of board, apparently picked up
from drift in the river, had formed a
roof with q kind of dog kennel beneath,
of about six by ten feet, on The floor Of
the raft. Into this hovel, on a little
straw and heap of old rags were
crowded 9n a forlOrn condition, a man,
woman and four children, one at the
breast, and the oldest, perhaps, ten
years old. The only household goods
were an iron skillet, a pot and two old
barrels-not seat, table or dish Wis
ible On the bow Of the raft, on piece
of old boiler iron, raised a few inches
above the plank, was a blazing ire o.


drift wood, which is fortunately abun


dant, and without price. Around thti
that wretched group were huddled
presenting a scene of squalid poverty
aud destiCutIOn seldom seen in this
country, and sufficient to move thC
compassion of the most selfish and
peuurious. How they endNTed the pitt
less rain-storm that fell ia the night


with no shelter but that afforded by g
roof of loose boards, the reader can
conjecture. In spite OF all this wretch
edness and suffering, the woman was
we'll and robust, and the children


were hearty and cheerful, and as full
of spirits as If in the midst of plenty
and comfort, The man was q cripple
and told short. and simple story o1
misfortune. He was a teamster at q
saw-mill in Minnesota, and had his leg
crushed by log rolling on it. Unskil-
full surgery had left an incurable sore
His sickness had reduced him nearly
to destitution, when their calamities


were made complete by fire that CON
sumed their dwelling and all its con
tents. Without cent in the world
and refusing all offers of assistance
| from friends, he had gathered a few
planks from the river and constructed I


raft, and on it placed his family for {
voyage down to Arkansas, where hG
intends to squat on some of the aban
doned plantations, raise a small corr


patch, and rely on his gun for the 9th,
| er means of living.
Year: 1869

Notwithstanding the rejection of the
proposition for Republic by a vote of
more than three to one in the Spanish
Constituent Cortes, the Republican
journals of Madrid do not speak very
extravagantly in saying that a Federal
Republic must ultimately be agreed to
for the lack of a Monarch. The various
efforts made to hunt down a King who
will take the place, and whom the
people will accept, are not very prom
ising for ultimate success. Prim is
supposed to be craftily working for
regal honors, and when he finds the
process of checkmating all other can
didates ceases to be effective, ne may
turn his really strong influence in
favor of a Republic, with an eye to the
Presidency. He has studiousIy avoid
ed giving offense to the Republicans,
it appears, and heads the more liberal
wing of Monarchists.-Ci5s. ChrOnicte.
Year: 1869

SENSIBLE REM M,EkS.-Mr. Harris, in
lis "Walks and Talks on the Farm"
makes the following sensible remarks in
his last paper:


1t is astonishing how mnch Il little at
tcntion to few small matters will do to
make a house comfortable. and the in
mates happy. | have been in houses
where the snow actually drove iii between
the sash and the easement of the win
dows, while the man sat smoking by the
stove during the long winter evening"
With a few laths, a pound of putty, a
dozen shinglc nails, and little ingenui-
ty, he might have made the room a.
comfortable as if it was enclosed with
double windows. No matter how hard
the times are, there is no excuse for hay
ing Il cold and cherries home. Let ev-
cry window Except such as are neccssa-
ry to open for vcntilatiop) be made air
tight. y stormy day is the best time
tor doing the work, as it is then easy TO
ascertain where the wind drives through
Fix the windows up tight against the
easement ON one side by driving, if need
b., a piece of lath between the easement
and window on the other side, and then
nail Oh the side strips, and fill up any
holes there may be with putty. You
will be astonished at the effect. BE
careful to serve the bedroom and pantry
windows the same way.-A farmers
first care Is to his family; the second
should b, the domestic animals. ''Be
thou diligent to know the state of thy
focks, and look well to thy herds" 1t
will not do to leave them to the care of
hired men, Washington made it rule
to visit his stables every morning, and
put his hands on every horse to see if it
had been groomed properly, and other
Year: 1869

If horses were capable Of expressing
their opinions OF the human race, they
would be able TO say good deal just now
calculated to put us out OF conceit with
ourselves They could give many sub
.tantial reasons for the conclusion that
we are without pity, except the little
that is forced into US by law. Tho way
horse. are lashed and cut about, aud set
to draw loads far beyond their strength,
is enough to move ting mQst stony heart
with eQmpassien
Year: 1869

INTR IRRATIONAL POSTAL MONEY ORDER
SYsTRM.-Consul General Hitz of Switzerland
and Postmaster General Cresswell have lust
concluded an International postal money order
system, being the first treaty Of the kind that
we have made with any foreign Government
By the terms OF the treaty the cost Of sending
money to any part OF Switzerland is but few
cents more than the cost to send to any part Of
the United States, and parties in Switzerland
can send to any place in this country for the
same expense. A bureau is to be established in
New York for fixing the rate Of exchange.
Complete rules and directions for procedure
will be published In a few days.
Year: 1869

1T Is by no means an uncommon prac-
tice with persons in the country, who wish
to break horse to harness, ito put him
into a strong cart, and then he can't do
any harm; perhaps he may not, but the
chance is, that, by this mode of commenc-
ing his harness education, he will do no
good. This may be breaking; it is not
teaching The horse is not accustomed by
nature to propcl anything with his shoul-
ders the act is therefore unusual to him
his natural act would be to recOil from it
if he could. OF course, therefore, the
heavier the weight he feels against him is,
the more disposed he is 10 recoil from it.
A good and well-traiaed art-horsc will
pull twenty times running ut an immova-
bic object, for this reason: he has been ac-
custOmcd to find that by increased eXer-
tion he has generally succeeded in moving
an object TO which he has been attached !;
he therefore always expects to be able to
do this, consequently will try to do so; but
the novice in harness, if he feels a great
weight behind, will most probably do
everything but what he ought To do, which
is, to resolutely set his shoulders To the
collar. The fact is, in this as in all cases
with horses, they should never, if possible,
be put to do that which it is likely they
will refuse to do. 1t is quite natural a
horse should at first refuse to face a collar
with 800 lbs. pressing against him-none
would refuse to do SO with ) lbs The 500
lbs, therefore, should never be tried till
we know he will draw the } lbs, and then
Increase the draft by degrees. rrNeglecting
to do this is one of the great causes that
produces jibbing, which is the almost GER
tain result ofinjudicious strcatment.-Prai-
RTE Idgner
Year: 1869

THE body of the bird does not require to
be much lifted by each stroke of the wing;
it only requires to- be sustained; and when
more than this is necded-as when a bird
rises from the ground, or from the sea, or
when it ascends rapidly i'm the air-greatly
increased eXertion-in many cases, very
violent eXertiOn-is required. And then
it is to be remembered that long wings
economiZe the vital force i'm another way:
when a strong current of air strikes
against the wings of bird the same sus-
tanning effect is produced as when the
wing strikes against the air. Conse
qucntly, birds with very long wings have
this advantage, that with pre-acquired
momentum, they can sustain themselves
very long time without tapping their
wings ut ALL Under these circumstances
"a bird is sustaincdsvery much as IL boys
kite is sustained i'm the air. The striify
which the boy holds, and by which he
pulls the kite dOwnwards with certain
force performs for the kite the same office s
which its own weight and balance and mo-
mentum perform for the bird. The great
long winged oceanic birds often appear to
float rather than fly. The stronger the
gale, their flight, though less rapid, is all
the more easy, SO easy, indeed as to ap-
pear buoyant; because the blasts which
strike against their wings are enough
to sustain the bird with compare
lively little exertion of his own,
except of holding the wing vanes
stretched and exposed at proper angles
to the wind. And whenever the onward
force previously acquired by tapping be-
comes at length exhausted, and the cease
less, inexorable force of gravity is begin
ming to overcome it, the bird again rises
by few easy and gentle half strokes of
the wind. This is u constant action with
all the oceanic birds.


Those who have seen the albatross have
described themselves as never tired of
watching its glorious and triumphant mo-
ton


Tranquil its spirit seemed and noated slow:


Even In its very motion there was rest


Rest where there is nothing else at
rest in the tremendous turmoil of its own
stormy seas! Sometimes for whole hour
together this splendid bird will sail or
wheel round ship in every possible vari-
ETY. of direction without requiring to give
a single stroke To his pinions Now, the
albatross has the extreme form of this
kind Of wing. It's wings are immensely
long-ibout fourteen or fifteen feet from
tip to tip-and almost as narrow in pro-
Year: 1869

A CORRESPONDENT of the London Field
answers an inquiry whether it is q safe
practice to wash sweated horses in cold
water. He says he has adopted it, and
with beneficial results, both in summer and
winter. After washing, the animal should
be rubbed dry, as far as practicable, and
the legs especially. Should the hair on
them be too long to admit of this being
sufficiently done, flannel bandages should
be put on, and wooden rug thrown loose
ly over, but without the roller In the
course of an hour the horse will be tolera-
bly, dry, and should have another rub
down, and be clothed in the ordinary man.
ner. Ii horses were treated in more ra-
tional manner than is often the case, with
pure air and scrupulous cleanliness disease
would be far less common.


What is more refreshing to man after a
hard days shooting, or rather luxurious
exercise, than warm or cold bath? And
believe it to be equally SO to the horse.
To the tired hunter, warm foot bath and
fermentation, if the animal is sufficiently
quiet, is most refreshing. With gentle
treatment, most horses can be used to al
mest anything. Some years ago. / visited
the royal stables at Buckingham Palace.
There, as was informed-and at the time
myself witnessed the operation-every
horse, summer and winter, was washed
from head to foot with cold water, after re-
turning from work, no matter whether ii
had been out one hour or six. A regular
bath house, cold water and plenty of it.
twomen after the ablution, scraping, scrub
bing, etc. a kind of web cloth was thrown
over to admit the evaporation, and the
horse was afterward rubbed down ard
clothed as usual in the course of an houl
or two. We cannot all have such appli
ances, but still consider the plan rationa
and conducive to the health Of the horse
if only ordinary care is taken.