Year: 1867




Yesterday was the LIST OF May. aud ev-
erybcdy. except those Nli5 we're 30 un-
iortahaie as 10 oRn their HOUSES there
by being liable any time 10 be sent 10
State Prison for the sa3es- moved.


We moved.


And "a was the moyingest sight we ev-
er saw.


Oar readers ought 10 have seen the
scene.


Our folks commenced pulling up and
tearing down the traps week ago.


Most Of the plumber was thrown into
a heap and Jumped of into loads. with
a total disregard Of ordinary rules


The pareg1r c and hive syrup bottles
we're packed in our new hai--one Of
Mackenzie's latest and best


Tie caster bottles were placed in our
other boots, il being So handy to carry
them By tlas leops. The stspper cams
out Of the one containing tomato catsup.
and the top Of the mustard concern was
broken of


That is the best seasoned pair Of
boots We ever saw.


The other family insisted ON coming
into the house before We got out.


And SO things got mixed up some.


But We got oil that belonged to us n
last


The cartman swore because the cook
stove was so heavy, and one said "d-d
il he would have il If we offered it to
him"


Did not offer it to him, but offered
both of them drink out Of quarter
Of barrel OF ale, stnding in the kitchen.


They took it very kindly, but it made
EN- thirsty all the forenoon.


Guess the sigot must have got, out OF
the barrel on the road, for we could not
squeeze half a glass out last night


Finally got tnoeed


Thought we would have our supper
before we tackled the bedsteads and
back room stove.


Better-half. with patch Of SCOT on her
nose, said supper was ready.


She was mad, because, when she asked
us to bring home q keg of soft soap. We
proposed an amendment, substituting
keg of powder and slow match.


We hate soft soap have to use SO
much of it every day in noticing men
and things.


Sat down at the table and took cup
of tea that was handed to us.


Thought it tasted strangely, and
prospected the bottom of the cup
Found the birthstone ends of three
matches.


Did not drink any more tea.


Came near breaking one Of our teeth
on carpet tack in the butter and
thought we had had supper enough.


Commenced playing put up bed
steads,


II is fun when you like it,


But people do not like it mostly.


None Of the blasted rails would ft.-
Got the wrong ones into the rong posts
and could not screw them up.


Marked them all with pencil before
we took them down, and thought We
would know how they went together O.
gain; but somebody wiped the marks
all out


And there we were.
Better half suggested that one 1T Oil
time of life ought to have more patience
and gave it as her opinion that we could
not swear the bedst ,ads together
Found we could not.
Finally we got them up-four of them
and commenced putting the cords on.
Cords broke, aud We had to tie them
together


The knots would not slip around the
pegs, and vie could not draw the rope
tight.


Mere remarks from the children,
mother Oh the subject of profanity.


Did not pay any attention to hef, and
thus succeeded in getting through witt
the job.


Then went down and harnessed the
stove.


The legs all fell out when we tried tC
lift it on to the zinc, but got II into po
sition at last.


Two lengths and one elbow OF th,
pipe were missing.


Finally found the elbow in the bureau
drawer, and two lengths rolled up il
the parlor carpet.


Got hatchet and stick of wood
and commenced pounding the pipe to-
gether.


Knocked chunk out Of one Of our
knuckles, and got the elbow on wrong
end up.


Had to take it all apart Snd change
II. Commenced pounding again, but
could not make it Fbo.
Pounded more


The more we pounded, the more il
would not ct, and we thought we would
give it up.


Expressed our opinion in relation tC
stovepipes in general and this one in
particular. and made some allnsions tC
the inventor Of this kind Of furniture.


Went 10 the corner grocery and got
zwei lager, felt refreshed, and resumed
the attack on the pipe.


Found out that what allied MS before
was that We bad not pounded enough


Remedied this defect and the Job was
done. Stove smoked beautifully.


Got wife to tie rags rodhd three ol
our fingers aud one thumb, aud thought
We would sit down and have q smoke.
! Found mcerschaum after q while. and