Year: 1859

| could be musician, dawned upon me clearly
but day by day the sense of power strength
ened.


Atlength asked him to let me try. think
he was astonished Ny soul was flooded with
harmony. Wild, sweet strains came to me like
the whispers of angels. From that night
was the master and he my pupil. Sometimes
| would persuade my brother to go with me to
church, land for hour after hour the organ would
be the voice of my soul. l breathed out in
music all the dreams of my long dreaming
boyhood, before the one stern stroke had come,
under which | bowed my head and rose up a
man. God was very merciful. With this re-
source | could never be entirely lonely, wholly
desolate.


When | was twenty -one John Cunningham
had left Ryefeld, and l had been chosen the
organist of our village. 1t was my business,
for which small salary was paid me. This
was all l ever could be; but l was content.


My brother was at college. He was taking
my place; he would realise my place; he would
realise my early dreams. The world would
call him brilliant young man. At home there
was little change, save that Leona's light foot
steps now but rarely crossed our threshold.
For some years she had been away at school.
In the vacation she came home, and then |
could tell by her voice that she was good and
innocent as ever. The next spring-it was
winter now-her schooldays would be over. At
last the time came. Oh, how ioyfully l wei
coined her! though | scarcely knew why her
presence seemed SO infinitely precious We
wandered together into the fields; and she told
me how fresh and green the grass was spring
ing under foot-how blue and bright was the
May-timed sky. | could smell the bloom Of
be fruit-trees, which were dropping their frag-
rant blossoms in our path. She never wearied
IN making all things visible to me. She would
'ell me how the mist was lying white and pur-
pie IN the valley-how the far, hazy hills, were
sleeping in the sunshine; and seeing with her
eyes, scarcely realised that | was blind


But that dream also had an awakening Nv
brother Richard came home. He had finished
his course at the university with high honors;
and his return to Ryefeld was the signal for
series of parties, and picnics, and merry max
ing, in which could not join, and which took
Leona from my side. heard from all quar-
tiers the praises of my handsome, manly brother
He was only nineteen now; he was six feet high
and they said, looked much older. J was not
surprised to hear that his wit and his manly
graces were making sad havoc with the village
girls. Already presentiment of sorrow had
begun to steal over my soul


l think my brother loved me very much. He
had always made me his confident One night
he came to my room, and said with hesita-
ton which seemed very singular in his frank,
me. Then he talked of Indifferent subjects for
l, = L. Il, I \ - ]
to me pitilessly-the blow fell. He loved Leona
Ashland! Oh, heaven pity me! l knew in
that moment |, too, loved her. blind, help


less fool as | was-had made her my idol l
had not known before what the spell which
bound me to her, or rather / had resolutely
closed my heart against the conviction. The
veil was ruthless,y rent away. | could not
choose but look on my own stupid imbecility
A voice in my soul Knocked me. Itcried ''Y ou
cowardly idiot You thought, did you, to darken
her life by fastening yourself upon her-a
blind helpless shadow! You thought that young
girl could love you that girl radiant with
youth and hope, all the glory and brightness
of life, before whose feet the future stretches
out green, and fresh, aud smiling. You tho't
you could win her! Selfish, insensate, mad!"


bade the voice cease its upbraidings; shut
my ears against it. [ ordered my brother
from the room For the first time in my life
was harsh and and stern with him. He had
generous temper | do not think he blamed
me. He reproached himself rather for speak
ing to me of love from which my misfortune
had shut me out forever. Begging me to for
give him, he went from my room.


| shut the door behind him. [ locked it
The key turned with sharp click. Then /
threw myself down upon the floor, as trav-
eer might PROSTATE himself before the poison
wind of the desert. Lying there, this fierce,
schorchng simeon swept over me. Unknown
to myself | had been cherishing one sweet
flower to my heart, watering it day and night,
with the dew and hope 1t lay there now, torn
up by the roots, its buds blighted, its fair BIOS
SONS withered.


Blind, helpless idiot! So the voice in my
heart had called me. All, but the blind idiot
could love. Who else could pour such wealth
of tenderness on one who could never grow old
to his sightess eyes-whose brow would al
WAYS be smooth-whose hair would never lose
its bri2htness-who eye could never grow
dim, because forever he could clothe her with
the fair garment, of his fancy! And new
voice in my heart answered, Il am worthy, for
[ loveP' With those words strength came to
me; and l rose up, and stood erect in my dark
ened world, lonely and grief-stricken, but still
man.


| was not one to inhict my sorrow upon 9TH
ers. l strove to go out into the world with a
cheerful face But listened with tremulous
eagarness to every infextion of Leonas voice
when she talked with my brother. knew she
must love him; but there was curious fasci-
nation in watching how this passion would
spring up in her pure heart-how the tender
ness, which could never be for me, would grow
into her beloved voice Day after day it seemed
to me to become full of sweeter pathos. Rich
ard was constantly by her side. Often they
roamed together over the fields. Sometimes
they asked me to go with them; but was too
sensitive to intrude. always refused Once
or twice, when had declined going, Leona in
sisted on remaining with me. 9Then she would
be so cruelty kind to me, read to me, talk to
me and bewilder me with torturing glmpses of
an impossible happiness. Then Richard would
come back with floral offering-a spray of
honeysuckle or bunch of wild roses; and sit
ting beside her afterwards, smelt all day the
fragrance of his flowers upon her bosom.


One night she asked me if she might 90