Year: 1862




A short Patent Sermon.


will give you sermon to-day drawn
from the following text:


The lady who beside tnb,


Is not ashamed to wiring or rub


Or, ON the hoor ashamed to scrub,


And cares not who call in to see


Her laboriug so industriously,


Willmake a wife for you and me-"


My HRAERRs 1t was ordained by Heaven
not by the dcvil-that every man should
have a wife, and every woman be blessed
with husband In the beginning God
made two of the genus homo-of opposite
sex The one He elected positively, the
other negatively; SO that when they ap-
proximated, their mystical effect would be
produced one to another. The how. why.
the wherefore, no mortal has yet been able
to understand-nether is it necessary that
he should. That tho sexes naturally ap
proach and adhere to each other, through
some mysterious influence admits of no
solution. Let it suffice that il is so. When
the Creator made Adam, he saw that it was
not good for him to be alone so he mes.
merlzed the man-dug rib from his side
without the least particle of pain--and from
II made Eve TO be a helpmate for him, as
we'll as fancy plaything. Now without
Knowing what love was, they couldn't help
loving the moment they set eyes on one an
other. lie cast sheep eyes at her in the
distance, and she threw some killing glances
on him in return that fred his soul and set
his heart vibrating like splinter upon n
chesnut rail in south-wester. They finally
came toy ether Just as natural rs u couple of
apples swimming in basin of water. But
situated as they were at first, and having
little or no manual labor to perform, Eve
could be of little utility to Adam. and
Adam couldn't do great deal for Eve
Still they loved and We're ready to assist
each other III case of an immergent casualty.
and 80 when they found that aprons were
necessary, they set to, and with the needle
worked together for mutual good Eve
only understood plain sewing knew
nothing about your embroidery, lace work
ing and piano playing, and cared not about
the same. The couple We're perfectly happy
III their rude stNte until the old serpent got
among them and even then stuck to each
other through thick and thin-through all
the brambling viciss;tudes of life--from
Paradise to Perdition.


My brethren, since you know that mar
riago is divine institution and that overy
one of you should have wife, what
kind of RIB would you select? A pretty
little useless doll, or woman big and
spunky enough to wrestle with and bear off
ilrst best! imagine that you would not
care much Tor either extreme, but would
look for personal charms. o you foolish
idolators at the shrine of beauty! Know
you not that thousands of husbands are
made miserable by handsome wives, and
that thousands are happy with homely ones?
llomely without, but beautiful Within
Alas what is beauty? Ii is flower that
wits and withers as soon as it is plucked;
transient rainbow; a ileeting meteor IA de-
celttul will'o'-thc wisp sublimated moon
shine.


The kind of a wife you want is of good
morals and knows how to mend trowsers
who can reconcile peeling potatoes with
practical or fashionable piety; who can
waltz with the churn dash, and sing with
the tea kettle ; who understands broomol
ogy, and the true science of hopping who
can knit stockings without knitting her
brows and knit up her husbands ravelled
sleeve of care who prefers sewing tears
with her needle, to sowing tares of scandal
with hor tongue. Such is decidedly bet
ter half. Take her up if you can get her,
let her be mp to her elbows in the sads of
the wash tub, or picking geese in u cow
stable


My hearers, my text speaks of a lady at
a washtuh, You may think it absurd, but
let me assure you that female can be
lady beside wash-tub or in u kitchen as
much AZ in drawing room or in parlor
What constitutes lady? IL is not Il costly
dress, paint for the cheeks, false hair, or
still talser airs I; but it is her department,
her intellectual endowments, and that evi-
dence of virtue which commands the silent
respect and admiration of the world. She
would bc recognized as lady at once, it
matters not where, nor in what situation
she were found-whether scorching bed
bugs with red-hot poker, or hollering
halIelujah at Methodist camp meeting
All that have further to say, fellow bach
elors, is that when you marry, see that you
get lady inside and out--one who knows
how to keep the pot boiling, and looks well
to her household. So moto il be.