Year: 1869




Can anybody give a gsod and satisfac-
tory reason why we should all breathe an
atmosphere like that of the Five Points
at every public meeting2 1t has come
to this, that persons whose time is valua-
Bile. and who have other objects IN the
world besides amusement, end lying in
he'd to recruit from the effects the day
after, are obliged to give up attendance
on these places, or else to sit near the
door, thereby hearing but imperfectly, in
order to save themselves from a fore-or-
dained headache for the morrow.


When a person is reduced to gasp
ing condition, and all the blood 10 his
body seems pumped up into the back OF
his eyes, of what avail is eloquence, or or
atory, or common sense2 Everything is
merged into the one frantic desire to
make hole in the wall, since most of the
windows are made only to look at, and as
a mockery of the original intention Of
windows. You look down the morning
paper for list of that evenings doings.
There is lecture you would gladly hear,
on very interesting subject, at GER
tain fashionable hall. But unfortunately
you have been there before-not once, or
twice, or three times, but score, and
always been carried home on shutter
With exhaustion, or what amounted to
the same thing.


1t is of no use trying it again, only to
mop your face with handkerchief all the
evening, and lose the next day as far as
work is concerned. IL is pity, too, be-
cause the lecturer is sure to say some.
thing worth hearing, being a man Of
ideas, but life is short, and the verdict lie,
u'Stay at home" But here is to be lee
ture at a gentlemen clubroom, and by a
lady. Perhaps we can breathe there.
We'll try it, at least, and thereby do our
best to insure "the lady" full house.
Heavens the Black Hole of Calcutta
never had more fetid tmosphere; that
with four or five large windows, which
might have saved us being taken out
damp unpleasant bodies" had they not
been Theoretically sealed, according to
the practice of such places.


What the lady said, the gods know-l
don't; wedged in with perspiring,
though select" crew of males and
females. l hope / laughed in the right
place, and applauded when the time
came, but don't know. was conscious
only of a desire that, since could
neither breathe nor get out, she would
speedily finish.


Now, when l lecture, which will be
when strawberries grow in the city parks,
it will be in circus tent out Of doors,
where nobody will stfs. They may get
wet from passing shower, but they will
not die dogs death of strangulation.


1t is so funny that people will keep on
with their lectures, with their sermons,
with their music, when their fellow-crea
lures are visibly, before their noses, dy-
ing by inches. Who knows or cares
whether the lecture or sermon is good or
bad, or the singing and playing discord
or harmony, at such times2 1t is so
wonderful that persons who appear be-
fore the public will spend hours, days, and
months perhaps, in celebrating their sub
ject, and not give five inmates to inquir-
ing as to the state of ventilation in the
place where the verdict of the audience
is to be pronounced on their efforts.


One would think for their own sakes,
if not out of regard to those who pay them
the compliment to attend, it were wise to
consider this point, as we'll as the dispo-
sition OF lights and seats, and the possl'
BILE ornamentation of the platform with
flowers and flags, and such like.


am getting mad on this subject.
have gone home in state of moral and
mental and physical wilt so often, that !
concluded to lift my voice and utter an
exceeding bitter cry about it. | am all
the madder because my fellow,heingi
seem to take "msrasmps as matter oi
course, and have lately been tortured
with dreadful fears that, like tho ihhabi
tants Of the Five Points, these "eultr"rc r"rced .
audiences may really come 90 prefer fetit
to pure air, ! shan. nave to be very dead
before cease raising the flag of distress
| FANNY FERN