smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1869

In thirty-one words how many 'thats"
can be dramatically inserted Fourteen
He said that that that that man said was
not that that that one should say, but that
that that thdt man said was that that that
man should not say. That reminds us of
the following says and ''saids:" Mr..
b, did you say or did you not saw
what l said you said because c. said
you said you said you never did say what
L said yoa SAID Now ifydu did say that
you did at say what said you said, then
what did you say?
Year: 1869

the eolonists coming in ss best they could
to the nearest seaports, generally In an
absolutely destitute condition.


The result os the Brszil "feyer,n sad
es il has proved to those who yielded to
g attack, will stand as q warning to the
Southern people against the hasty aban-
doument Of their native land. Even the
greatest curse that can fall upon US from
the foul womb Of Radical hate-the curse
Of mongrelism- cannot be avoided by
going to Brazil or any other South
American country. In all Of them the
nasty fruit has ripened, and pollutes
earth and air with its sickening odoTs.
Year: 1869

A MOVEMENT is on foot in San Francisco to
form branch of the International immigration
Union, the headquarters of which society are at
Baltimore. The object is to promote German
and Swiss immigration to this State.
Year: 1869

MoRE EARTHQUAKEs.-Late advices from the
Sandwich islands state that during last month
several very severe shocks Of earthquake were
felt on Hawaii. The belief was general that dur
ing the present month harder shocks and more
activity of the volcanic fires would take place ON
that island
Year: 1869

The editor of the Chicago Times is
after the Sorosis petticoats with sharp
stick. After abiding to the recent feed
these worthless had in New York aud the
various toasts proposed, he says: The
subjects spoken upon by these ladies 60
to establish a fact that is well known
among those moro acute observers who
have made the fair sex q study. 1t is
in reference to what women hsbitually
talk about. That which they talk about
is the same as that which they dream
about and think about, to-wit: A
man. We do not, Of course, assert
this as being at all derogatory to
women. 1t is a discovery which is
rather calculated to elevate them in
the eyes of cynics and women haters,
who have believed that the sex is given
to frivolity. The woman who longs for
the ballot is moved thereto solely by
the hope that the possession of the fran
chise will bring her nearer the beloved
object Of her alteration. 1t will give
her more of his society. That q woman
thinks, dreams, talks always of man,
furnishes the key TO her character, to a
thousand actions which otherwise are
inexplieable, to the recesses of her In
most nature. Looked at from this
point of view, how creditable to hel
character is this search of woman toI
her rights Her rights is man. II
would more POLITICALLY and correctly
describe this struggle of woman as
worship which should be known a.
Woman's rites. The whole movement
on her part is, whether Intentional ol
otherwise, a form of religious devotion
TO man."
Year: 1869

The report of tue Congressional COM


nittee on Retrenchment reveals a start
ling array of Irregularities and official
rascalities. The discrepancies In the
accounts are enormous and the incom-
petence and shiftlessness Of the political
clerks in the Treasury Department Is
most glaring. The report is powerful
argument for the enactment and rig'd
enforcement also of a civil service bill
which will stop the waste of the public
money and insure an honest admins
tratiou of the affairs of the department
As it is now it is seething mass oil
rottennesS aud corruption. The nun
dreds of officials are so many harPleS
feeding off the blood of the nation. Ihs
carelessness shown in the issue OF money
is crying evil. A little JudlcioHs
hanging of leading bureau officers WOMB
check the stealing quicker than any
thing else.
Year: 1869

On Saturdays lucky dealer in lottery
chances drew prize worth $4,000. No


one but those who have experienced
such delightful windfall can appre-
ciate the happiness of the lucky holder


Visions of delight, days of pleasure
nights of jellity swan before his intoxi11
Gated senses with the charm of romance.
Foreign travel, sybarite in ease, the
ruler of fashion, the beau of the sex he
would surely become. Hurrying home
with the package comfortably
deposited in his lett breast
pocket, feeling that ineffable content
which follows upon competence
his veins all thrilling with conscious
ness of wealth, he was aroused from his
reverie by the cry of lady in distress.
On the corner of Rampant and Canal
dressed female had fallen
ana sustained serious injuries apparent
ly. Our friend had yet about him a
feeling of humanity. Sudden wealth
had not deprived him of sympathy for
the afflicted. He therefore hastened 60
assist the prostrate lady to her feet,
carefully attended her to street car
and saw her comfortably seated, and
whirled away. By sort of instinct he
then felt for his money-it was gone
NelC Orleans PiCdyune.
Year: 1869

THERE may be some good excuse oy
and by, if there is none now, for GRANT 5
giving good offices to his relations. II
tb;npsro on long as they are at present
going. it will take quite a fat Office to
compensate poor fellow for the mis-
fortune Of being his relation.
Year: 1869

1t is a we'll established fact that fully one.
half of the female portion of our population are
seldom in the enjoyment Of good health, or, TO
use their own expression, never feel we'll"
They are languid, devoid Of all energy, extreme.
ly nervous, and have no appetite.


To this class of persons the BITTERS or the
TONIC, is especially recommended.


WEAK AND DELICATE CHILDREN


Are made strong by the use of either of these
remedies. They will cure every case of Ma.
RASMUS, without fail.


Thousands Of certificates have accumulated
in the hands Of the proprietor, but space will
allow of the publication of but few. Those
il will be observed, are men of note, and Of such
standing that they must be believed
Year: 1869

The Boston Post says that a judge OF the
Superior Court in that city recently dismiss.
ed a jury for the term for the apparent res
son that in certain criminal case they fail.
ed to bring in verdict for the common
wealth, and that the singular act is a repe.
tition of a similar offence committed within
year. AS a contemporary and associate
of the bloody Jeffries he would have been
success.
Year: 1869

Don Piatt mentions a rumor that seri.
Gus difficulty has sprung up between the
French Minister and his Confessor. The holy
father gave his diplomatic iniquity, as q
penance,an order to read the morning Wash.
ington Chronicle every day before breakfast.
The Minister replied that he would see him.
self spiritually condemned first
Year: 1869

The Prussan diet proposes to grant 2.
100000 forms to the municipality ofFrank
fort, to which the king will add 100000
from his private purse, in the hope that
such action will draw closer to the monarchy
and crown the hearts of the inhabitants of
that city.
Year: 1869

THE WHIsKEY SEIZURE IN BROOKLYN
The successful onslaught made by the revenue
officers upon Illicit distilleres in the Fifth
ward of Brooklyn on Tuesday showed a good
deal of pluck on the par. of the officials of that
department., Several times hAfers thsy have
been beaten off by the distillers' mob in this
turbulent locality; but on this occasion they
succeeded in running Off into the cutters
large quantity of the Illicit stuff, and carried
away the machinery to the Navy Yard. 1t is
remarkable that notwithstanding the extent to
which Illicit distillation is carried on and the
resistance which revenue officers meet with,
even to attempted assassination, as in the case
Of Brookes, in Philadelphia, the government Is
still able to show an increase Of twenty or
thirty millions month in the revenue receipts.
l. is evident that the administration Is doing
Year: 1869

~


Some Of the target companies are putting on
character that will make their suppression
necessary to the preservation of good order
This target shooting institution was an out
growth of the Volunteer Fire Department, but
has outlved the department in virtue of its
political affiliations. 1t is now to some extent
part of the machinery for striking" poll
ticians and candidates for all minor Offices
All would-be Aldermen, Assemblymen and
even Congressman must prove themselves
''sound on the goose" by liberal contributions
to the prize list But every parade of these
companies makes an excitement in the streets,
and it seems that organizations of rogues are
taking advantage of this fact. They parade
as target companies, and thus cover the raid
ing of their confederates on the sidewalk upon
the property Of shopkeepers through the length
of whole street. This, of course, must be
stopped but it is not fair to involve in the
odium of such transactions the honest
mechanics who make target excursion their
day of recreation. The whole difficulty may
be gotten over by the police. Let it be
required that all organizations to parade in
the public streets must have permit, such
permits to be refused only to the organizations
OF thieves, all Of which, Of course, are known.
Year: 1869

The fire in Fulton street has perhaps settled
the fate OF one more of our city's menis
by its partial destruction of tho North Dutch
church. Although the part of the walls not
recently torn down is likely little the worse
for the fire, yet the destruction of the tower
and the damage to the interior will afford
the iconoclastic and speculative spirit Of
the time pretext not to be lost for
the dem oition of the ancient edifce. There
will remain, therefore, of the old Dutch
church ediices only the one known as the
Middle Dutch church, now occupied as the
Post Office, building Of respectable anti
putty, having been built in 1928. With the
destruction of the ediGce in William street the
one in Nassau street will, we believe,
be the only church remaining to the city
in which divine service was conducted
in the language of the Knickerbockers,
although the use Of that language in
the Dutch churches here was only finally given
up in the present century. The "Neder-
duytsche Kerke" was organized by the burgh-
ers of New Amsterdam in 1920, and of their
four ancient edifces three have now gone by
fire. The first was burned at the time OF the
''ncgro plot" The South Dutch church was
burned in the great fire Of 1885. They went
out on startling occasions, therefore, and blaze
at memorable points in our history, while the
North Dutch yields to common accident. By
the removal of this church one obstruction to
the opening of wide avenue from the new
Post Office to the Brooklyn ferry will dis
appear. Such street Is Inevitable, Of course,
and must be made sooner or later, and we
hope the consistory will keep this fact in mind
in the construction Of the chapel they are to
erect on part Of the ground occupied by the
old church.
Year: 1869

New DISCOVERIES AND SKILLED LABOR


Such accidents as the so-called carbolic acid
explosion in Brooklyn, and the various nitro
glycerine explosions that have scattered
destruction in the streets of several Cities must
eventually enforce upon the directors of new
enterprises tho necessity Of having skilled
labor in all occupations related in any way to
new discoveries. 1t appears that the man who
had charge Of the apparatus in Brooklyn was
ignorant Of the nature of tho forces he was
handling. lie did not know in the first place,
that he had made steam boiler of the tank in
which he was saturating wood with carbolic


acid, and he seems to have been unaware also
that what he called carbolic acid was in fact
fluid in which carbolic acid, a non explosive
body, was present in company with other
bodies capable Of giving off dangerous explo-
sive gases. Such labors should be in the
hands of chemists and engineers who know and
can guide all the possibilities of the occupation.
Year: 1869

THE CLOSE or THE JEROME PARK RACES
The closing day of the racing season at
Jerome Park was certainly the most brilliant
that has been witnessed since its opening, in
September, 1866. The ground was in splendid
condition, the weather all that could be desired
and the racing first class. The fashionable
attendance from all parts fully showed that
such sport is appreciated, and from the gen
eral interest evinccd in the sport itself it may
be expected that soon we shall be equal to any
country on that score. The position of
Jerome Park is doubtless exceptional, and
the beauty of its surroundings can with difi-
Guilty be surpassed anywhere. As yet, how
ever, in this country racing may be considered
to be still in its infancy, but under The able
management displayed throughout in the
arrangements at Jerome Park we may soon
aspire to Derby equal to that of Epson fame.
The projected facilities of uptown travel will
offer inducements for the still greater popu-
larity Of Jerome Park, and should they be
eflectually carried out we may look forward
to still more prosperous career for this
spirited enterprise
Year: 1869




The age of barricades is gone Napoleon
and Baron Haussmann have made the old Paris
revolutionary system impossible. The quar-
tiers, so well known in times gone by and on
many occasions so useful to the dsaffected,
have been disturbed by that horrible or blissfil
thing which we call progress. Paris in SEN
tence, is at the mercy of grapeshot, and the
grapeshot is under the control at present of q
vigorous will and an active brain. Victcr
Hugo, in his letter, which is now going the
round Of the newspapers, admits and confesses
that barricades and demonstrations are not
suited to the present times, so far, at least, as
France, or rather Paris, Is concerned. 1t was
his hope that the people of Paris might initiate
the example of the people of Dublin and the
people Of London-make a peaceful, unarmed
demonstration and then quietly 80 home. But
as the Left held aloof the people must hold
aloof too. A popular demonstration would
have created government necessity and the
Chassepot would have been used. Victor
Hugo, although he does not say it, evidently
means that revolution must now be effected by
public opinion, not by barricades In this he
is right. When he recommends revolution he
will, he says, be there. But he is not the man
to recommend revolution so long as Louis
Napoleon occupies the French throne.
Year: 1869




We regret that General Barlow has left the
Marshal's Office, for by the very fact Of his
resignation he establishes his fitness for the
place. He rclinquishes the position because
it is insufficiently remunerative. Now it is
abundantly remunerative to some kinds of men,
but they are not the kind we should desire to
see in the Marshals Office. Plenty of men can
make their fortunes there; and precisely
because General Barlow can only make six
thousand dollars per annum there, because he
cannot consent to make more by the irregular
and corrupt practices through which alone
more is to be made, be is the man who
would honor the position. Can the crowd
of men Who scramble for Office get a
hint by this resignation? 1t is fact,
to which this resignation merely calls
present attention, that ninety per cent Of the
offices are, if man will be hon st in them,
less remunerative than any good business pur
sued with ordinary ability; and the office
seeker, by his eagerness for place, only
announces to the world either his unfitness for
any useful occupation or his desire for wealth,
even though dishonesty gotten.
Year: 1869

CoRNERISa CoTToN.-The carman who was
employed to carry cotton from warehouse to
ship, and who seems to have substituted bales
Of junk for cotton on the way, shows what is
possible in our system of handling goods
He is the compeer of Fisk & Go. in
humble way. These startling ananciers have
shown that in the system of money dealing
that has been in honest vogue for generations
there is possibility Of combinations that
make the system mere cover for robbery,
and the carman shows the same thing in his
sphere. Both are useful, as they compel the
reformation of the systems whose weak points
they expose
Year: 1869

MODEL PoIoEMAw-Th shooting OF
policeman in lager beer cellar in the
Bowery lets out a story that but for the
shooting would never have been told, and
the public would like very well to know
whether this policeman's idea of his duty is at
all a prevalent one in the force. He Joined
with certain persons drinking in that cellar at
an hour when, according to law, no liquor
should have been served, and he made no
reference to violation Of the law until the
keeper of the place demanded pay for the beer;
then this valiant upholder of the law turned on
the publican with regard to his defence, and ia
the ensuing dispute or sculle was shot. Here
is policeman going into drinking shop appa-
rently determined 10 profit by the delinquency
Of the dealer, and Immunity for all violation of
the law may be purchased at the cheap rate Of
filing the officer with the beverages he fancies
Is this a common case2 Il the law thus mar
tal at the optiaa es every thirsty bearer of the
badge of authority2
Year: 1869

| which will give them the balance of power for
| the next Presidency.


The democrats, however, understand this
and are lacking to the windward with their
whole squadron, and the republicans are also
hedging. Leaving, then, the workingmen's
unions out of the estimate, what are the issues
upon which this election will be determined
They are, first, negro suffrage, as embodied
in the new State constitution and in the
fifteenth amendment to the federal constitution


secondly, the national administration and its
policy on the money question; thirdly, the
liquor question, which is the main issue; and


lastly, the State Legislature, which involves
the contingency of a reconstruction of the


whole government machinery of this island,
including all the commissions acting inde-
pendently of the Mayor and the Common
Council.


On negro suffrage, General Grant and the
national debt the results in Pennsylvania and
Ohio show that, substantially, the republicans
win hold their ground of last November. In
this city and throughout the State the federal


patronage turned over to the republican party


win be something gained in the machinery Of
electioneerng. Last year, under Johnson, it


was all for Seymour But the weak point
with the republicans is the liquor question,
and in the ticket embracing Sigel and Greeley
we find this weak point in the compromise
adopted between prohibition and lager beer.
Greeley goes for Sigel and prohibition; Sigel
goes for Greeley and lager beer. The ultra
temperance people turn up their dainty noses
at Sigel and say we can't vote this ticket OF
free lager and this platform of German Sunday
carousals in their beer gardens, while the
free-liquor republicans say we can't swallow
Greeley and his temperance crotchets. Great
tribulation ia betrayed by Greeley over the
fuss made against this innocent experiment Of
mixing little lager with his Croton; and well
may he be excited, for the temperance fanatics
give signs of general bolt.


We are, therefore, inclined to the conclusion
that, in view OF this republican difficulty touch
ing Sigel and Greeley on the lager beer ques-
ton, the prospect for next Tuesdays election
is still decidedly in favor of the democracy.
They have the liquor dealers, en- masss, on
their side, and they are not troubled with these
temperance Puritans.
Year: 1869

The Democratic Ratification Meeting.


The democracy of our city turned ont last
evening in most imposing array, and in mass
meeting assembled at the Wigwam in Four
toenth street to ratify the nominations of the
party on the State and county tickets. Nothing
was left undone to make the occasion impos-
ing in every respect, and the most hope
full anticipations of the leaders as to
the result must have been thoroughly
thousand persons formed in procession.
In the Wigwam, the great rallying point, the
magnates of the party held big pow-wow.
OF course the high qualifications of the several
candidates were the theme of fervid eulogy and
praise 1t was but natural that snch orators
as Grand Sachem Tweed, Mayor Hall and S.
S. Cox should be present on the platform;
but it was not altogether en- rapport to
see Mr.. Fernando Wood afiliatiny with his
late Tammany opponents and victors. The
speeches were of character that the least
said about them the better. OF course the
Tammany democracy was lauded to the skies,
the glory it achieved in the past glorificd and
the great career before it in the coming Presi-
dental campaign of 1872 the subject Of high
promise and great anticipation. General
Grant and the administration came in for a full
share of wordy obloquy from Wood and Cox,
the latter speaking for over an hour. The
speeches were kept up to almost twelve
o'clock, when the meeting adjourned and the
great democratic ratification Of the campaign
WIS brought to an end
Year: 1869

Increasing Circulation of the Herald


We are again constrained to ask advertisers to
hand in their advertisements at as early an hour
as possible.


Our immense and constantly increasing editions
compel us, notwithstanding our presses are
sapable of printing seventy thousand copies an
hour, to put our forms to press much earlier than
stop the ciassifcations Of advertisements at nine
o'clock p NJ
Year: 1869

WALL STREET. An unusual Stiffness has
fallen upon the trottoirs Of the Stock Exchange.
The brokers lstlessiy gaze at each other but
Room is barely alive, despite the liquidation
OF claims by the Gold Bank and the hope that
the money thus freed would set the wheels Of
speculation in motion again. The great panic
has verify had its reaction.