Year: 1869

In CONSEQUENCE Of cold weather cnce


more, about these days there is uni
versal putting up Of stoves preparatory


for the winter campaign, and undoubt-


edly great deal of profanity is indulg-
ed in. One who has considerable expe-


rience in putting pp stoves says the first
| step to be taken is to put on a very rag.
ged old coat, under the impression that


when he gets his mouth full of plaster
it will keep his shirt bosom clean Next


he gets his hands inside the place here
the pipe ought to go, and blacks his fin
gers, and then he carefully makes


black mark down one side of his nose.
1t is impossible to make any headway,
in doing this work, until his mark is
made down one side OF this nose Hav-


ing got his face properly marked, the
victim is ready to begin the ceremony.


The head of the family-who is the big
goose Of the sacriiee-grasps one side
of the bottom OF the stove, and his wife


and the hired girl take hold Of the 9th


er side In tilis way the load is started
from the woodshed towards the parlor.
Going through the door the head of the
| family will carefully swing the stove


around and jam his thumb nail against


the door post this part of the cere-
mony is never osnitted). Having got


the stove confortah y in place, the next


thing is to find the legs. Two Of these
are left in the stove since the spring be-


fore. The other two must be hunted


alter for twenty five minutes. They are


usually found under the coal Then


the head of the family holds up one
side while his vile puts two of the legs


in place, and next he holds up the 9TH
- H. ~


and one OF the first two falls cut. By


the time the stove is on its legs he gets
reckless, and takes off his old coat re-
gardless of his linen. Then he goes in
| for the pipe and gets a cinder in his
eye. 1t don't make any difference how


we'll the pipe was put up last year, it


will be found a little too short or lit


tie too long. The head of the family


jams his hat over his eyes and taking
| a pipe under each arm goes 10 the


tin shop to have it fixed. When he gets
back he steps upon one of the best par


lor chairs TO see if the pipe fits, and his


wife makes him get down for fear he
will scratch the varnish off from the


chair with the nails in his boot heel. In
getting down he will surely step on the
cat, and may thank his stars it it is not
the baby Then he gets an old chair
| and climbs up to the chimney again, to


find that in cutting the pipe of the end
has been left TOO big for the hole in the
chimney. SO he goes to the wood shed
and splits one side of the end Of the
pipe, with an old axe. and squeezes it


in his hands to make it smaller Finals
ly he gets the pipe in shape and finds


that the stove does not stand true. Then
himself and wife and hired girl move


the stove to the left, and the legs fall


out again Next it is to move to the


right. More difficulty with the legs.
Moved to the front little. Elbow not
| even with the hole in the chimney, and
he goes to the wood shed after some lit


tie blocks. While putting the blocks


under the legs the pipe comes out of the


chimney. Head of the family gets the


dinner table out, puts the old chair on
| it, gets bis wife to hold the chair, and


balances him mself on it to drive some


nails into the ceiling. Drops the ham


on to his wife's head. At last gets the


nails driven, makes o wire swing to hold


the pipe, hammers little here, pulls a


little there; taxes a long breath, and an


nounces the ceremony complete.


Job never put up any stoves. It would


have ruined his reputation if he had
! n Express.