Year: 1864

HAD an aunt coming to Yisit me for
the first time since my marriage, and I
don't know what evil genius prompted
the wickedness which I perpetrated to-
wards my wife and my ancient relative.


Ny DEAR said I to my wife the day
before my aunt's arrival, you know aunt
Mary is coming tomorrow; well, I for
got to mention a rather annoying oircum-
stance in regard to her. She's very deaf
and although she can hear my voice,
to which she is accustomed, in its ordi-
nary tone, yet you will be obliged to
speak extremely loud in order to be heard
1t viii be rather inconyenicnt, bat I
know you will do everything in your
power to entertain her, and make her
stay pleasant


1 then went to John T., who loves
a joke as well as any person I know of,
and told him to be at my house at six
o'clock on the following evening; and
felt comparatively happy.


went to the depot with a carriage
the next night, and when on the way
home with my aunt I said:


Ny dear aunt, there is a rather an
noying infrmity tha: Anna (my wife)
has, which I forgot to mention before.
She is very deaf; although she can hear
my voice, to which she is accustomed, in
its ordinary tones, yet you will be oblig-
ed to speak extremely loud in order to
be heard. 1 regret it is so.
Aunt Mary in the goodness of her
heart protested that she rather liked
speaking loud, and that to do so would
give her great pleasure


l handed out my aunt-she aseended
the steps.


I am delighted to see you, shrieked
my wife, and the policeman on the oppo-
site sidewalk started, and my aunt nearly
fell down the steps.


Kiss me, dear, howled my aunt, and
the hall lamp clattered, and the windows
shook. looked out the window-John
had disappeared


Human nature could stand itno longer.
1 poked my head into the carriage and
Z


went into convulsions.


When 1 went into the parlor my wife
was helping aunt Mary to take off her
hat and cap, and there sat John with his
long face of woe.


Suddenly, Did you have a pleasant
journey?' went of my wife like pistol,
and John nearly jumped to his feet.


Rather dusty, was the response in a
war whOOp; so the conversation contin.
ued. The neighbors for blocks around
must have heard ii; when was in the
third story of the building heard every
word plainly.


In the course of the evening my aunt
took occasion to say to me:


How loud your wife speaks-don't it
hurt her?'


told her that all deaf persons spoke
loudly, and that my wife being used to
it was not affected by the exertion, and
that she was getting along finely with
her.


Presently my wife said softly:


ALI, how very loud your aunt talksP


Yes, said I, all deaf persons do.
You are getting along finely; she hears
every word you say. And I rather think
she did.


Elated by their success at being under
stood, they went at it hammer and tongs,
until everything shattered again, and 1
was seriously afraid of crowd collecting
IN front of my house. But the end was
near. Ny aunt being of an investigating
turn Of mind, was desirous of finding out
whether the ezertiOn of talking SO loud
was not injurious to my wife. So


Does not talking SO loud strain your
lungsP said she in an unearthly boot,
for her voice was young.


1t IS an exertion, shrieked my wife.


Then Why Dc you do il, was tbs ans
T9r