Year: 1863

A few DAYS ago a certain Lieutenant
Colonel took it into his head to resign his
commission, and forthwith he rendered
a resignation upon the ground of his
opposition to the President emancipa-
ton proclamation. His papers in due
time reached General Rosecrans Head
quarters, whereupon the said Lieut. Col
was sent fof. No doubt the aggrieved
officer supposed the General would tell
him it was impossible for this great
army to move if he resigned, or the
Union be saved either


No, sir, no such good luck was in store
for him. He was informed that he must
either be fool or very mean man, and
that his resignation would be accepted,
for no such man could be of use to the
service; but first he, the said Lieut. Col,
must take an oath that he would not en-
gage in any reasonable designs against
the Government; and more, must give a
heavy bond with security to the same
effect. | obtained this information from
a reliable source, and merely mention it
to show fully that General Rosecrans has
the cause of our Union at heart as well
as the capacity to maneuver a great ar
my. But said the officer did not exactly
relish that sort of a reception, so he very
submissively asked to withdraw his resig-
nation, and left the General wiser and,
1t is to be hoped, better man.


l noticed some time ago that some
officer in the Goth Indiana, who had not
yet been paid, was in an awful fix He
was about to have to pawn his clothes for
"grub" Alas! what humiliation. But
indeed it seems to me that the officer
could or should afford to live on Uncle
Sans rations without running board
bill The officers in this army are glad
to get that.


l called with friend of mine from the
city of Evansville the other day, on pair
of fair lady friends. One was very large
elderly lady,who had applied to me few
days before to purchase some onions for
her; but as the family were exceedingly
loyal to the rebel .cause, l modestly de-
clined purchasing "ingens for her, for
the very good reason that our General
won't allow " grub" sold that class of in
dividuals. However, as those people are
very kind, and give me dinner once in
while, and the young lady was bloom
ingly handsome, "Jeems " and ] took our
pockets full of onions and forthwith made
our call Now, this may be considered
novel way for young gent to intro
duce himself into the good graces of a
lady; but, sir, l can assure you that if
"Jeems" failed to make the fair one
weep by earnest appeals of love, the
onions did not fail; and hereafter l would
recommended all you gentlemen who are
at home and have time to spend in court
ship, and plenty of girls to court, in case
they fail to make an impression any other
way, just take pocket full of onions, as
"Jeems did, and my word for it, the
lachrymal fountain will send forth flood
of tears. Q. K. JUMPER WIGGINs.


P 81 overheard fellow say the
other day that it was strange that Wig
gins could never write letter without
getting a woman into the letter before he
was done 1t is not strange, sir, at all.
To cause bank notes to be worth a cop
per, you have TO print the picture of wo-
man on 'em, and that mans heart on
which is not printed the picture of wo-
man, would no more pass in the kingdom
of heaven than FIVE cent bill of Con-
federate script. So mote it be.


O. X. j. w.