Year: 1869

First there was the NlSslOn talT.


1t came of at the Academy of Music, and
reminded me of the glories Of the big Sanitary
Fair, only there was 10 Knickerbocker Hall.


The Zenana Mission is an enterprise Of which
l highly approve. Being Woman's Rights
man, believe they ought to have equal op-
portunities with men in the missionary service.


There are several ladies | know whom !
should be happy to see fitted out as missiona-
ries to any distant field of where there was
chance of their remaining.


Do I believe they would do more good than
men?


OF course do.


Did you ever see Ingomor at the Park Thea
tre?


How Mrs. rarthenia Conway comes it over
Ingomar Conway in frightfuly hirsutc COM
dition; persuades him to shave, and put on
decent suit of clothes.


Woman hath charms to soothe the savage
breast" which man don't possess.


Take the most painful view Of the case.


\ mission to the Feeiee Islands where the
cheerful savagcs regard a missionary as pro-
vidential contribution TO their larder.


hare no doubt that much of the i'll feeling
of the natives towards the white race is due to
indigestion.


They have possibly dined of some tough old
male missionary who has disagreed with them


Now tender maiden Of forty properly cook
ed would be q dainty dish to set before King
of the Cannibal Islands, and would convert him
if anything could


Can we spare the poor creatures?


Yes, think we can.


On consulting the census report / find that
there are great many more women than men
in this part of the country.


In consequence Of the Revised Statutes Of the
State of New York, restricting each man to one
wife. at a time, all these women can't set hus-
bands.


Married women find generally hold out
pretty well, and some of them live longer than
their husbands, SO that very few men get a
second chance.


Woman's sphere of labor here is limited, and
it is not bad idea to extend it.


The selection Of the East Indies is very sen
sible.


If the ladies want TO so let them.


1t is always best to let ladies have their own
way.


If Mrs. OLanus should take it in her head
TO be a Missionary, | am afraid should let her
go.


But it is not likely that any married ladies
would so.


Or any that have expectations


Next came


THE ORPHANS FAIR.


The orphans do not live in the East Indies.


Their complexions are not dark.


They had the misfortune. to be born here,
and lose their parents before they were big C.
nough to take care of themselves.


Still there are people who think they ought
to be taken care Of as well as the East Indies.


These people got up fair at the Academy,
which is still going. lfyou haven't been there
you'd better 60 this evening.


And take plenty Of money.


Before the bank closes draw check for So,
900 and get it in small bills.


If You know anybody who will lendyou any
money, borrow a 500.


If your note is good raise all you can on it,
then 90 to the Fair.


Not having taken these precautions myself
before going to the Fair, fell short Of what
was expected Of me, and AIN afraid l have
suffered in popularity.


This is grand.


To get out Of describing it may say it beg
gars description


And anybody who goes into it.


thought Of buying something for the chill
dren: lust to encourage the noble ladies who
have worked so hard to get up and run the af-
fair, didn't buy thing. But left every
blessed cent | had behind me.


If you want to know how it was 80 there
and sec.


Just as I got inside my attention was called
to a six hundred dollar shawl presented by ex-
Secretary Of the Treasury, the Hon. A. I.
Stewart. of New York.


Mrs. Hooly, who had charge Of it, wanted
me to take a three dollar chance in a rattle for
the shawl


Thinking over the possible result, ! declined.


Suppose | won that shawl, should have to
take il home to Mrs. 0'Lanus. Then she'd
want five hundred dollar dress to match it,
fifty dollar lace collar, thirty dollar pair of
boots. and other things in proportion.


Which, not being Water Commissioner,
can't afford.


Having escaped the shawl, was stopped by
Brother Corr, who wanted me to take a chance
for copy Of Burns works to be ratified for on
the spot.


asked him if he knew who he was talking
to. The idea Of a newspaper man paying iof
books. Being man got nd of him easy e.
nougb. and was beginning to look round; but
like young bear just entering on life mytrials
were to come.


Two young ladies, who might have been
mistaken for reporters for the Rerotmio', bore
down upon me with books and pencils, as tho