Year: 1863

ed TO be kissed by his mothers lady visitor.
and no bribes OF big pieces of miace pie, re
apples or sugar plumbs, could induce him Il
submit 10 the infictioD.


As he grew up, this singular aversion to tn
softer part of our creation increased until, a
81 he would sooner have an African lioness il
his house that any woman except Mrs. Blake
his hoHsekeeper.


Zebulon was wealthy-and for that reason
he might readily have married bad he been 81
disposed. Women are not so senseless as
some seDtimentalsts would make it appear
and the best of them will marry a man will
property sooner than one without it. Shows
their prudence. The fact of it is, love is very
pretty to talk about looks sweetly writer
down on paper, and j: makes splendid rhyme
With dove but it dou't make the dinner pot
boil, nor cover the backs of the children with
iinsey woolsey; and though poets say it feeds
the soul, we have an idea that a diet exclu-
siveiy confined TO it would leave shocking emp
| ty stomachs. We know we are dreadfuIly
unrOmantic, but the truth will stand.
| Zebulon resided iu bis house by himseIf-
his only companion was his venerable house
keeper, Mrs. Blake, aud ber yellow cat, Dan
deliOn, who was part and parcel of her mis-
tTess. DsCater's house was not more than
three minutes walk from the little village of
Winchester-situated on a fine farm. and sha-
ded by grove of fine old elma Zsbuon be-
grudged trees the ground they occupied they
made nice shade over the gtindstone, and he
concluded to let them remain for the present.
for motives of utility.


Zebulon had two besetting sins. which
might be cIassed under the head Of pride


He was proud of being called the best far
msr in the vicinity, and he was proud of be-
ing called deacon OF Winchester Church In
consequence of his position he never allowed
himself to get iulo passion and is loudest
boast was that, since the age Of twenly-one,
he had never sworn an oath! Rightly enough
his friends respected him for it, aud looked up
to him people ought to to man who has
sense enough to refrain from committing the
worst sin in the calender.


In the year of grace. 1850, Zebulon's pride
eliminated in his patch OF water melons,
Such melons were never before seen in all the
country. L. was enough TO do person good
to look al them, and that was all The good one
was like TO get from them, for Zebulon would
no sooner have bestowed melon on a nci zi-
bor than he would have jumped from the stee-
pie of Winchester meeting house, for the
amusement of the spectators.


One morning on visiting his melon patch as
usual, he discovered that the place which had
hitherto known the largest melon. now knew
il no more it was gone and the track on
the borders, and the wil:ed remnant of vine
SbO
periShed from spontaneous combustion, but
had fallen prey to some daring deIredator.


Zebulon was petriitd \ thief in Win
chester! and him deacon in the church II
was libel on his testimony aud good example!
How dare any one steal in the town where be
deacon in the church


His ire was slightly raised, and was very
strongly tempted to ignore for ouce his char
aeter for picty, and give utIerance to round
oath But 10 his credit be it said he fore
bore. and went TO digging potatoes instead.


All through the long forenoon he meditated
deeply on last nights untoward occurrence
Something must be done. 1t would never do
to pass fragrant misdemeanor over in silence
The next thing there would be murder done,
small sins invariably lead to greater ones, and
The affair must be Investigated. Next thing
how to proceed? There was the law, and
officers of the law, but what use were they to
him in lack OF criminal to act upon ? And
besides there was lawyers fee, and the fees
of the witnesses-and all the scandal of the
thing, when it would be in every body's mouth
- Deacon DeCarter has gone to law about
water melon


No, it would never do to drag the matter
before the public in that way but there was
Que method, and that be would adopt without
delay. He had iu his possession two very
strong steeI-traps formerly used in trapping
BEARS ard the traps be would set in the mel
on bed. and then, when ihe offender was caught
he'd just give him the benefit of one of his
moral lectures-make him pay seventy cents
for the melon, and promise TO join the church
before the year was out. The deacon chuck
led over the plan himself, be guessed now he
knew how TO find em


Night, most impatiently looked for, came at
last, Saturday night, dark and mOonless-jast
the night for melon stealing. The deacoH set
mis- traps a little after sunset-one at the east
gale, and the other at the west gate of the
yarrl-and then went home to take a nap tina;
he might be fresh to give his captured thief
little sound advice.


He calculated the criminal would be along
about midnight, and thought it would be fine
sport for hiEl to be seereted in the yard, and
witness the trapping. Accordingly, at about
eleven, he arose and went down to the melon
yard, which was about stones throw from
the meeting house, and in clear view.


He entered at the west gate as usual for
getting the story about the m IN who digged a
pit for his neighbor's OK, and at the next step
there was sharp click, and something grab
bed him by both feet, aud held on like the
toothache.


The deacon forgot his solemn position at the
head Of the church-the best of us are apt to
be forgetful under some circumstancesand let
off a string of the talIest oaths that had ever
disturbed the echoes of DeCaters farm since
its creation. He wondered what on earth he
bad stepped on, and when he recollected that
one of bis traps had been spread there, his in
dignation knew no bounds He was too mad
to speak and relapsed into sulen silence.
just as he had begun to realize the ridcu-
Iousness of his situation there was a sound of
slealthy footsteps outside the fence and di-
rectly the east gate unleosed, and some one
came in. There was mornentary rustling of
the vines, and then another sharp click, follow
ed by scream Of


" LOrG-a-massy !" in very shrill, squeaking
voice.


Halo !" cried the deacon, who's there ?"
It's me"'


Me- who's me? But that don't signify
I've got you now, you consarned old sinner
l will larn you to steal melons out of my gar
den"


And here followed great hustle Of kick