Year: 1865

SMUGGLING A CLOCK-A LADY IN

 AN AWKWARD. SITUATION.

 The Missouri Democrat tells the following story of one of the defiant rebel ladies lately returned from Canada to St. Louis:

 The revocation by the Provost Marsha General of the orders banishing certain rebels from the State, has caused the return to oul city of many high spirited persons of both sexes. A few of these individuals retain all their former haughtiness and pride. but the majority of them are subdued in spirit, humble in department, and rather seedy in appear ance. Very few of them. during the period oI their punishment, moved in the first circles but nearly all were compelled to descend te the level Of the mudsills whom they despised in the days of their prosperity, and to earn a subsistence in the lowlier walks of life. Even the fairer portion of the exiles found it neces- sary to turn their dainty hands to menial em ployment, and their punishment had one good effect, if no other; it taught them the sweet use of industry and the healthful duties of ad. versity. :. .~.s One of these fair exies who has recently returned to the city on the revocation of the edict of banishment, relates striking incident of her experience in Canada. On receiving permission to return home, she concluded to engage in little speculation that would as. sist in paying the expenses of the trip. All kinds of goods are very cheap in Canada, com. pared with prices here, and the duty being high, smuggling is carried on to great extent along the border, the American ladies being particularly skilful in concealing contraband articles in the folds of their petticoats and among the convulsions of their duplex elliptic skirts. So common had these smuggling transactions become of late, that the mer- chants of the Canadian border found ready sales for their goods, and they are too shrewd to betray their customers and thereby iniure their trade. ....

 Our St. Louis lady had taken fancy to one of those beautiful little Getman clocks which can be wound up to strike at any moment the owner may desire to be awakened. and con cluded to purchase it and smuggle it across tho line. She gave the clock-seller particular direction to fix the alarm apparatus so it would not strike. and he promised to do so but the Canuck. suspecting that the lady designed to run the clock through the custom house with. out paying the duty, and being somewhat of a wag, set the alarm so it would strike at the moment he knew the lady would arrive at the custom house, for she had informed him on what train she would start, and he knew she was making her last purchase.

 The lady. delighted with her pur. r.hase, and anticipating many laugh with her St. Louis friends over the story of the Canadian clock fastened the time-pece securely to her hoops and started on her homeward journey. Arriv. ing at the custom house without accident she met the inqaisitive collector with 6 complai- san. countenance, and submitted without a tremor to the search which was instituted among her baggage The officer found noth- ing contraband, and Was passing to the next traveller, when loud 'w-h-i-r-r!' was heard under the lady's skirts. The strange noise was kept up for the full space of minute, but to the lady it seemed an hour, and she became tremulous and excited. The custom house of. icer, not daring to lay his hands on a woman, save in way of kindness, obtained an iron rod with which he felt around the crinoliue for the concealed clock. He succeeded ia bringing it down. but the crystal was broken, and the hands were bent by the operation. The lady arrived safely in St. Louis last week, and told the story of the clock herself, and therefore cannot blame us for repeating it.

 JOHN PHEN1x.-Those who knew John Phe nix Nieutenant Derby)--knew him as we did will be glad to read this striking anecdote which is SO characteristic of his noble nature A friend of Derbys related it to us some days since. and we cannot forbear to give it place in the sanctum. All who knew Derby will re member that there was nothing about him ol his humor, which is generally so characteristic of those sour, discontented, practical jokers, SC naturally and justly tabooed in society. Good nature and good fellowship he cherished and beyond these, save in the way of harmless mirth, he never swerved. It was not in him His power of face was something wonderful and is sufficiently attested by the anscdote

 He was sitting, on one occasion, in the guests lolling-room of New York hotel, confronting on Broadway, when little beggar-girl came in and with the keen discernment of little people in general, noticed his child-loving benevolent countenance, and approached him asking aims She was very young, innocent-looking and had none of the juvenile whine persistency of mos young mendicants whom one meets in the streets, and In the halls of our public hotels Phenix at once assumed mournfal expression of face, and began to talk as it were confident ly' and affectiouately to- her. He told her tba his father was long since dead, and that he wa, now left entirely alone in the world that h.