Year: 1864

In the semi rural district of Winona, forty
miles north of La Crosse, on the Minnesota
side of the Mississippi river, lives, among
several other people, IA jolly good fellow of a
Justice of. the peace, whose ideas of matters
are much like the current of deep river.
Once started in deep river it is hard to
turn them. One fair day, after the 10 by II
law dispensatory had been swept, after the
chairs had been set in short row against
the side of the Office, and sundry whipped
ouids of tobacco and multilated cigar stubs
had been kicked under the stove, there was
a wooden step on the stairs and vigorous
knock at the door.


"Come in, said the justice, as he settled
into legal look SO BETTING man of law
duly elected to dispose the favors of the blind
goddess.


A stout woman entered She had on a
short wollen dress-wooden- soled shoes
sported red cheeks, black hair, and eyes that
snapped like the lock of shot gun. In a
Portuguese accent, and in the worst possible
English, she said:


You law MANI"


Yes, madam: be seated'


want paper. Want paper to take man."


just then stout French half breed enter
ed the room. He was unable to speak half
dozen words, and looked rather scared or
bashful. The Judge at once that there
was marriage to come off, and said to the
woman who stood with compressed lips watch
ing the justice and the door,


Want paper to take this man?''


''Yes, want paper. Me teach him Nice
woman thought the justice). He good
man. Me take him SO quick can ~


''All right, my covies-fx you in the jerk
of lambs tail ? said the justice, as he TURN
ed to the man and said


You know this woman-can you take
her,


''The man shook his head and uttered un-
Ineligible words.


"Ah! 1 see. Can'ttalk English. Well,
never mind"


He ran into the street and invited few
friends up stairs, and on returning with them
said to the woman:


You want to take this man for better or
for worse?''


Yes, me want to take him-me pay"


''All right-then turning to the man who
stood trembling


You take this woman for better or for
worse, and promise to keep her," etc.


''Umph' and several mods of the head


8 Then in the name Of the law, and by vir-
tue of the authority in me vested, | pronounce
you man and wife. And he stepped for
ward before the woman could say a word.
and kissed her red lips.


Slap came her hand in his face, and she
clutche1 his hair. The new husband Jump.
ed IN to take the w0man away, and to pro-
tect her as the justice supposed when in self
preservation he hit him a rap on the nose.
The woman pitched into the new husband
who in turn pitched into her, and for about
five minutes there was general hustling.
and display of legs, garters, and things de
cidedly astonishing.


At last the parties ere separated, when
the man and woman took another turn at
each other, the blood and hair flying in all
directions. Down came the stove. over went
the table, clatter went the chairs. and into
the street like mad went the justice with
black eye, and the bosom of his shirt looking
like warranty deed covered with red seals.


A crowd rushed up stairs and found the
man and woman lying on the floor, hugging
each other like young bruins. their arms and
legs mixed up worse than tomato vines, the
woman on top.


The newly married couple was separated,
when, through the aid of tive interpreters, it
was discovered that the night before, the par
ties, occupying adjoining shanties in the low
er part of the town, had got into a quarrel
over the stovepipe, which was claimed by
both, and from words they had come to
blows. Each party had FASTENED to the jus
tees office in the morning for warrant for
the other with the result as above stated
The last news from there was. that the par
ties had gone in search of another justice to
unmarry them, while the genial cause of
their terrible squabble was setting up the
boy" and bathing his bunged eye with whis-
key. For an actual fact it is the richest with
in our knowledge La Crosse Democrat