smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1868

A good story is told of reverend gentleman
to whom farmer complained that ministers
earned money much easier than he did.


Now" said the farmer, ''when you are called
upon to marry a couple, you never expect less
sum than So, and you sometimes have $10-this
only for few minutes service"


''Poohp' replied the Doctor, ''I would agree
to give you half my next marriage fee for bushel
of potatoes"


Very WE'LL said the farmer, 'Ill take your
offer and send you the potatoes"


few days afterward the clergyman was called
on to splice bving couple at D, place
about four miles from where he lived


When the ceremony was over the bridegroom
said to the worthy minister:


''Well parson, s'pose [ must fork over some
thing for your trouble. What say you to taking
one of my terrier pups? The best breed [ tell
you in the country. Shocking nice to have in
the barn. Worth full SIS, and suppose figure
or two would do for the splice eh?"


The Doctor took the pup with joy. The
joke was too good; he fastened to the farmer,
saying;


Nov, friend, here is my fee; how shall we di-
vide it,"


The farmer relshed the joke so well that he
increased the potatoes to half dozen bushels.
Year: 1868

We have removed our stock of Groceries to that
new and handsome Corner Store ..Grays Building,
Corner Trade and Church Street, nearly opposite
the Court House, where, in addition to our choice
stock of Family Groceries now hand we Will be
receiving in few days very large and carefully
selected stock of good


Family Groceries,
To which we most respectfully invite the inspection
of all our old and as many customers as may be
pleased to call on .
We will make it to your interest to give call
before purchasing.


Sept. IA, 1868 W. ". GRlEk co.
Year: 1868

CHEERFUL.-Ladies who are addicted to CHG
mons, and there are few that are not, will be
deeply, if not delightfully."- interested in knowing
whence their adventurous hair comes. Until
recently in Europe, the flowing tresses of the
poorer classes were laid under tribute to adorn
and beautify their wealthy sisters Many poor
girl sold her crowning glory to buy a meal.
This source of supply seems to be exhausted,
however, and dealers in human hair have resort
ed to more doubtful means to meet the demand
In the hospitals of Europe the hair of corpses is
cut off and sold to those who retail it at home or
export it to this country for the benefit of our
bellies
Year: 1868

THR B1eT GRASS FOR BUTTxI.-It you aim
at a great flow Of milk, feed on young timothy
and white clover; IL you aim at the best results
both in quantity and quality of butter, feed on
fresh pastures OF white clover and timothy in
Summer, and early cut timothy and wheat
bran in Winter. The grass m ust be cut when
heading ont; or better, young aftermath well
cured. Avoid roots and garden stuff in general,
il You wish a good quality Of butter-thoueh il
is now held that those fed while milking or
immediately before, will remedy the evil
TdIyeu Eorusr
Year: 1868

SECRETARY SCHoFfsLD returned 10 the city
this morning from West Point, New York,


where he has been for se veral days past on
account OF the death of his son, which occurred
al that place on Sunday last
Year: 1868

CONPETBHT Authority decides that the
chIgnon or 'waterfail" is decidedly bad for the
haIr, Is the heat and pressure Of the foreign
substances of which it is composed are sure to
produce badness.
Year: 1867

Prom the AntlSlayery Standard, Of this week!


President johnson has issued another
proclamation. He affects to see "impedi-
ments,v In the Carolinas. He does not
specify, that we may know precisely what
they are. Nor are there good reasons ap1
parent for any proclamation at all at the
present time. The greatest "impedimenf'
Is Mr. johnson himself. We suspect this
special parade Of concern on his part about
the Constitution . "the authority Of law, ~
and the integrity of the national Union"
is intended, as the cry of "stop theft" to
blind the public as TO his own treachery.
That johnson intends serious mischief we
have no doubt We are advised through
Trustworthy sources that he and hiscoterie
are taking precautionary measures to 50
strengthen his position as to enable him to
enter upon the experiment of resistance if
Congress shall attempt to impeach and de-
pose him from Office. The conviction that
impeachment is necessary, as We have
urged for many months, is rapidly gaining
ground Senators who have hitherto
been reticent on the subject now speak Of it
freely in private as both desirable and in
eVitable. We hear, from gentlemen emi-
nent in official position and most adVant-
ageou5ly situated for observation of John
sons movements at Washington, that an
open warfare between the President and
Congress in the near future is by no means
improbable 1t is as a blind, the better to
shield himself from close scrutiny, while
maturing his reasonable schemes, we have
no doubt, that the wordy proclamation Just
issued was put forth. Change few inde6-
mite lines about the CarOlinas, and the
same "whereases" and the body of the
proclamation would suffice for his use
little later to either prevent the assembling
of Congress, or for its dispersion, if it pro-
ceed to impeachment as an unconstitutional
body. He shirks from orders to proclama-
tions. Another proclamation, extending a
general amnesty to red-handed Rebels, it
is said, is soon to be issued. No one under
stands better than the reckless usurper of
the White House that this will be in de.
fiance of the loyal people of the country.
But one defiant step paves the way for an
other.


Thus far in his "new Departure com
mencing with Stanton's removal, johnson
has gained an easy victory over Grant, who
was to be the peoples hope in the absence
Of Congress. How far the Lieutenant
General will allow himself to serve as 4
subordinate instrument of reasonable
usurpation remains to be seen.


The period for chosing a successor TO the
Presidency is, in the regular course of
events, rapidly approaching. But prior
question is the disposition of the besotted
tyranl now in office. Both the thirty ninth
and the fortieth Congresses betrayed their
trusts in their failure to remove him many
months ago. Let the press, the pulpit, and
popular conventions, with one voice, loud-
ly demand of Congress that the impeaeh
ment and immediate deposition of John
son from Office be its Grst business on re-
aaaafn hlino
Year: 1867

NAaN NAh0.


The Chicago Times of the 10th inst. has
the following suggestion


Gen. Candy has continued in force all
the orders made by Gen. Sickles as district
commander. Gen. Sickles was removed
for issuing order No. 10, restraining the
execution of the processes Of Federal Courts.
Does Gen. Candy know why Sickles was
removed? Is he 10 be permitted to do
what Sickles WAS removed for ordering TO
be done2


The President should not interfere in the
case of Candy, Binckley to the contrary
Notwithstanding, until Salmon 2. Chase has
made up his mind whether he will make
an effort to yindicate the authority of his
court. There is a law providing for the
punishment Of men who obstruct the Of
hcers of courts in the execution of their
duty. Does Salmon F. Chase, Chief JUS
tiCe Of the Supreme Court of the United
States, know of the existence of this law
Can he imagine how a district commander
can be dealt with under it? Cannot a dis
triot commander be reached by it the same
as a civilian who is not an officer of any
kind? General Grant told Sickles not 10
submit to an arrest. VIII he tell Canhy
so? Supposing ,he does, should not the
Chief Justice ascertain whether the DEGREES
Of his court can be enforced? 1t will be
time enough for the President to interfere
when Candy shall have refused to submit
| TO an arrest.
Year: 1867

We shall constantly admOnish the Southern
people to be sslf-reliant. and shall do what We
may be able to induce the establishment Of
manufactures in our midst for our home pros
ducts. To this end We will pay special attention
to the COST and STATISTICS Of manufacturiugs
and exert ourselves TO encourages the diversii-
cation Of Southern industries and the develop
uent Of Southern resources.
Year: 1867

DY A CONSOLIDATION OF THE .yASH
WILLIE UNION AND AMERICAN and the
DISPATCH, and By the generous and united
support of the UNION AND DIsPAFCH By the
patrons Of both the former papers. the Propris-
tors are enabled to present a Newspaper hithe-
to unsurpassed in this city or State.


IN FULLNESS AND ACCURACY
NEWS, our paper viii compare favorably IT'D
the best in the entire country and in saying
this, we only repeat the expressions Of many
our patrons, who are most capable Of judging in
uch matters.
Year: 1867

IN THEIR NEW QUARTERs-Our city council
ON Tuesday evening met for the first time in
their new quarters in the New City Hall. The
room fitted up for them is about 90 by 40 feet
very neatly furnished with arm chairs, desks,
gas light, &c, and with full council in session
the Mayor in his chair, Secretary at his desk,
policemen moving about, audience in the rear,
and all that looks very like little legislature.
The arrangements in the new quarters are ad-
mirable in every respect, and afford secure and
pleasant place for the transaction of the ficial
business Of the city.
Year: 1867

We hear of no arran ngements Of any sort look.
ing to q celebration Of the coming 4th Of July in
Ottawa. Even the proposed demonstration of
the fircmen has been abandoned, or rather antici-
pated, by getting up the parade and dedication
at an earlier day.


So the people of Ottawa can scatter and take
part in contemplated celebrations outside of
town. or get up picnic parties, boat excursions,
and the like, all of which afford really more
pleasant means of enjoyment than most of the
massive celebrations that hays been in vogue


To such as have no other arrangements in view,
we take the liberty to suggest that the basket
picnic at Debolts Spring promises about as much
enjoyment as can he got anywhere for the price
in this region; or, if it is preferred to go still
further away, and at probably less cost, get on
the cars at noon and join the grand basket picnic
at Seneca. We promise all who 60 there a hearty
welcome, and good time .hs ..., ...


Another matter in reference to the ith is
worthy of attention. We find the regulation is
being generally adopted in the larger cities "a
prohibit the use Of all kind Of fireworks on that
day, particularly the abominable nuisance Of
Chinese crackers or squibs. and we hope a regu.
lation of the same sort will be enforced in this
city. Not only was a half million of dollars more
than wasted in the purchase of this sort of tom.
foolery at the last national anniversary but hall
dozen more millions Of property was destroyed
by fires enkindled by crackers and fireworks to
say nothing Of a dozen Of lives lost by accidents
and explosions arising from the absurd waste Of
gunpowder and other villainous explosives.
Year: 1867

THERE Is NO TINE 10 DE LOST, if you want
to take advantage of the big bargains daily
offered at Fiskc Il Raymond's next door west Of
City Bank. They are selling best madder prints
for shilling, and all other goods in proportion.
Year: 1867

Ninety millions Of gallons Of whisky


were made in the United States in 1860,
according to the census, while the last re-
port Of the Revenue Commissioner return
ed but ten millions. This enormous de-
ticiency is not to be accounted for by any
decrease in either demand or supply, but
solely by the fact that the tax on whisky is
now two dollars gallon, and that there is
about one gallon taxed for every ten
smuggled. 1t is believed the Government
has been cheated out of hundred millions
of dollars since the tax was laid on whisky.
Year: 1867

The following piece Of rodomontade Np-
peared in a recent number Of the Rich
mOnd Times:


"a thousand years Of war may roll over
us; earthquakes may shake down our
mountains and swallow up our dry land;
floods may dash their wild waves over tho
places of our abode, hut as long as there
floats true son of the Old Dominion upon
a plank of the wreck, he will DO q Virgin
ian still"


On the principle. no doubt, that "onos a
fool is always fool"
Year: 1867

Plug COUPLING LosT.-COmpany &C.
while going to the fire on Saturday night,
lost from its reel brass plug-coupling
They are hard to procure, and the finder
will do public service by returning it to
the engine house on Eighth street.
Year: 1867

LETTER: FROM GOVERNOR PICKENs.
following is an extract from a private letter
received by gentleman in New York, from
Governor Pickens, of South Carolina:


"You know the desolation of our country
has ruined us all, and we are in great poverty.
God only knows whether we will be enabled to
gather this years crop, and the policy of the
government forbids all enterprise, and puts it
utterly out of our reach to raise any money
now on any terms whatever. We would gladly
sell half of our lands for support and ready
means, but, of course, no one will purchase
with the open threat of universal confiscation
standing over our heads, and want and starva-
tion before thousands of ourpeople both black
and white. The most cruel part of it is, if
possible, the first suffering comes upon the help
less black people, who have been innocent of
all blame, and really have acted as well as any
people would have done under the circum-
stances. | really think that most men who
own land are struggling now to do all they
can towards the support of their former faith
ful slaves. / know this is my case, and it is
what adds greatly to my present embarrass-
ment and cramped means'
Year: 1867

A LETTER from Peru says the ex-Confeder-
ate Admiral Tucker has resigned his position
as second in command of the allied feet and
was about to return to Lima. His resignation
was caused by the acquittal of the officers who
refused to serve under him, by council Of war
at the port of CallaO.
Year: 1867

A STRANGE SCENE.-A London correspon-
dent gives the following brief account of the
entrance into Parliament OF Mr.. Kayanaugh,
the armless and legless member from Ireland:


The honorable member entered the House
from the direction Of the Speakers apartment
seated in a chair, the mechanism Of which is
so contrived that he can wheel himself with
ease to any point which he wishes to reach
The large copy of the Testament used in ad-
ministering the oath to members was managed
-One cannot use the word handled-by Mr.
Kavanagh without the least difficulty, and he
wrote his name with as much quickness and
apparent ease as any of his fellow members of
Parliament. The process was as follows: The
Clerk handed to Mr. Kavanagh pen, with
handle the length to which he is accustomed
The honorable member cIasped the handle be-
tween what represents his arms, and, steady
ing it by putting the end into his mouth, guild
ed the pen over the parchment with singular
fuency and Steadiness.
Year: 1867

The LAST DopGE.-A Boston paper tells
the last trick played in that city to eyade the
prohibitory liquor law. 1t says:


Rooms have been fitted up and furnished
properly at desirable points. and keys are dis
posed Of to the right kind of men, at so much
per week. With the key admission is obtain
ed to room at any hour Of the day, and there
all kinds of beverages are to be obtained No
one is present to take orders or receive pay
in fact, there is no bar or cashier; the place
runs ITSELF if one finds friend there, they
:" meet by chance the usual way" No room
isaccessible to any one not having in his pos
session the magic key.
Year: 1867

EDUCATION or YOUNG LADIES.-At a
meeting recently held in New York City to
adopt measures for the substitution of better
method of educating young ladies than that
now in vogue all over the North, aletter from
the Rev. Howard Crosby, was read, of which
the following is an extract:


'I have long felt very deeply the need Of this
movement. Our women are fast becoming mere but
terfies for want of true training. Most Of our fe-
male schools fashionable hot-houses to encour-
age the growth of stlessness aecation and extrav-
agance Society is made artificial, the laws of God
are despised, and all things set topsyturvy Wives
lord it their husbands and children lord it
their parents wisdom is driven into the corner.
and folly wears the crown. trace nne-tenths of the
tiippancy and falsehood of modern society to the
mockery of education which the daughters of the
land receive. God help you and your colleagues i'll
this good work to send the devil yepng to his den
Year: 1867

The following extraordinary but we'll
authenticated statement appears in the
London Medical Times


"The celebrated DR.. Fordyce dined
every day for more than twenty years at
Dolly's chop.house. His researches in
comparative anatomy had led him to
conclude that man through custom eats
oftener than nature requires, one meal
day being sufficient for that noble ami
NAL the lion. At o'clock, his accus-
toned hour Of dining, the doctor regu-
larly took the seat at table always re-
served for him, on which were placed a
silver tankard full of strong ale, bottle
of port, and a measure containing
quarter of pint Of brandy. The mo-
ment the waiter announced him the
cook put pound and half of rump
steak on the gridiron, and en- the table
some delicate trihe as a bon bouche to
serve until the steak was ready. This
was sometimes half broiled chicken,
sometimes a plate of chicken. When
he had eaten this he took one glass of
brandy, and then proceeded to devour
his steak. When he had finished his
meal he took the remainder of his
brandy, having during his dinner drunk
the tankard of ale, and afterwards the
bottle of port. He thus daily spent an
hour and a half of his time, and then re.
turned to his house in Essex street to
give his six clock lecture on chemistry.
He made no other meal until his return
next day at four o clock to Dolly's."
Year: 1867

the House Of Commons to all parts Of the
great building Immediately on the call
for division these bells are rung. Whip
pers.in are busy, and men scramble from
all imaginable places to get inside the
House before the three minutes expire.
The rule is memorable The doors are
closed promptly on the second. The
Queen herself could not get in. Men file
cut from different ends of the room, 90
through different passages, have. their
names written twice, and come back by
different doors.
Year: 1867

praise which belongs to his rival, and


attributes his reserve to- n lofty regard


for correct principles and to an unset


fish love for the people. The theolo-


gian spits fire and wormwood at hisad


versarics and comforts himself by the


persuasion that it is for the glory of


God. The professor of religion, in


face of the Bible declaration that the


laborer is worthy his hire, will grind
you down to a starvation price, and
take advantage Of an Interpretation of
human law which enriches him and
robs his fellow. The delicate young
lady who is ready to faint when you
give the genuine English pronuncia-
ton to the good old Saxon word leg,
would persuade herself to say limb, in
tending to convey the same meaning.
The panderer to the newly -enfranchis
ed would deny the authority ofthe Lat
in for niger, and say "colored man."


These are all unconscious hypocrites,
perhaps conscious ones. But are the
Beechers, Cheevcrs, and other preach
ers of the North, who arc so much eX-
erciscd about fancied wrongs to the
niggers Of the South, while poor whites
are starving under the very sound Of
their voices, and while said preachers
live upon the fat of the land--are they
not conscious hypocrites? Are not
those blood thirsty towards who prate
about the crime of rebellion while they
disregard the Constitution; who cry
out for punishment of traitors whose
treachery consists in holding views adj
verse to their views, and who acted up.
Oh an education consistent with such
so called treachery-are they not the
most internal hypocrites?


That is our point, and if We have
given it social as well as political ap'
we have no apology to make.
Year: 1867

No notice can be taken Of Anonymous Communica
tions whatever is intended for insertion in
The Home Journal, must be authenticated by
the name and address of the writer--not nee
cssayily for publication, but as guarantee for
good faith and responsibility.


All business letters for this Office should be ad'
dressed to ''rhe Home Journal" Winchester
All communications for publication must be writ
ten ON one side Of the page, and with all other
matters connected with the editorial depart
ment should be addressed: Editor of The Home
journal, Winchester, Tenn.


We cannot as II rule, undertake to return articles
not found suitable for publication.
Year: 1867

Acertain peasant had 3 tFusty dog
called Sultan, who had grown quite old
in his service, and had lost all his teeth,
so that be could not hold anything fast.
One day the peasant stood with his
wife at the house door and said, 'this
morning | shall shoot old Sultan, for he
is 10 longer of any USE" His wife,
however, compassionating the poor ami
nal, replied, SWELL since he has served
us so long and SO faithfully, | think We
NAV very well afford him food for the
rest of his life" s.Eh, what" replied
her husband; ''you are not very clever;
he has not tooth in his head, and
never thief is afraid of him, so he
must trot of. If he has served us, he
has also received every day his dinner.


The poor Dog, lying stretched out IN
the sun not far from his master, heard
all he said, and was much troubled at
learning that the morrow would be his
last day. He had one good friend, the
| Wolf in the forest, to whom he slipped
at evening aud complained Of the sad
fate which awaited him. '.Be of good
courage, my father" said the Wolf; 81
will help you out of your trouble. |
havsjust thought of something. Early
tomorrow morning your master goes
haymaking with his wife, and they viii
take with them their child, because no
Que will be left in the house. And
while they are at work they viii put
him behind the hedge in the shade,
and set you by to watch him. l will
| thea spring out Of the wood and steal
away the child, and you must run after
| me hotly as if you were pursuing me.
| L wiii-ist it fab and you shall take it
back to its parents, who. will than be-
| lieve you have saved it, and they will
| be too thankful to do you any injury;
/ and 50 you will come into great favor,
and thev will never letyou want again.
l. This plan pleased the Dog, aud it


was carried. out exactly as proposed.
/ The father cried when he saw the Wolf
running off with the child, but as old
i Sultan brought it back he was highly


pleased, and stroked him and said, 'sNot
hair of your head shall be touched; |;
| you shall, eat your meals in comfort to
the end of your days" He then told
| his wife to 90 home and cook old Sui
tan some bread and broth, which would


not need biting, and also to bring the
pillow out of his bed that he might give
| it to him for resting-place.


lcoNCLUDID NEXT wEEE.
Year: 1867

sound.-Thc Cleveland Heorld, which is
by tie way the most literally conducted
paper in Northern Ohio, bas sensible srticle
headed Support your Home Paper fro
which we clip the following paragraph:


Nothing can supply the place of the
Home Paper. Il is tSe mirror IN which the
town and neighborhood news is reflected; in
the social political and religious circle, where
printed, it fills place no other can. When,
the need for economy comPels the surtail-
ment Of your newspaper list, strike of every
other one before you say to the publisher Of
your home journal, stop my paper"