Year: 1867


pay no attention to the ao,lthings of the pieces,
but when they are sufficiently cooked, place
them on clean plate and serve up"


ga subscriber of Scrabbletown is informed
that j Job was very patient man, which proves
that he was not printer. The sign over our
door of Sob printing" signifies printing work
done at this Office Job has been dead many
years.


Farmers are advised to split their rails in
the full Of the moon for then they will be light.
They should build their barns also by the light
of the moon, for then they will have plenty Of
beams Cabbages should be hung up by their
suing this plan it will insure full circulation Of
the blood"


''We have had an unusually severe drought,
and the crops are suffering. A correspondent
asks us the cause of this. IL he will refer to
DR.. Weathergage's elaborate work on "Causes
and Effects, y Vol IA, page l742, he will find
that the causes of droughts are these-1st. The
absence Of humidity in the atmosphere
The same, as applied to the earth. .-3rd. The
want of vapor in the atmosphere-4th. Total
absence of rain. The effects are seen in the
dryness of the atmosphere, slow running OF
springs, shalowness of ponds-migration OF
frogs-dusty roads, parched vegetation, de-
pressed spirits and empty pockets.



was as much in vogue in the days of simple
habits as it is now.


''The great show will arrive tomorrow. The
caravan will pass down Main Street and halt in
front of the hotel. A superior band OF music
composed of a fife, side drum, bass-drum, rent
bugle, trombone and trumpet will accompany
it. Let the population turn out en- madsse, for
such collection of wild beasts never visited
this part of the country before-we mean since
the Indians had to flee before the light OF ciVi,
ization. The elephant is perfectly doclle, and
never leaves his trunk behind him; every
monkey can "a tale unfold the leopard never
changes his spots, except when he goes from
one place to another; the learned pig goes
through his CALCULATING performance according cord e
to Gr1mter, and the clown opens a budget OF
neao Jokes made to order The good people of
Fudgetown may rely on the exhibition being
highly moral, for none of the animals were ever
known to use profane language or drink strong
liquors. -


Here is political article-a hit at neigh
boring journal which stood on the other side OF
the fence:


s'If the clustering bully of the Journal had a
grain of sense. we might think him worthy OF
our notice As it is, we can only express our
contempt for him and his hungry hackers by
silence. However, since we haze spoken, we
shall say that the question of state rights IS
premature Mr.. Calhoun may bluster and putt
until he has used himself up, but the energy OF
jackson will soon give him his Quaetus. Our
candidate for the State Legislature does not up
hold the doctrine of notification, and therefore
will prove the right man in the right place.
We therefore call upon all good citizens to vote
for Major Cantwell." !"


The critical acumen Of the editor OF the
''Mountaineer'' is shown in the following ex-
tract:


''It is with pleasure that we contemplate the
rapid growth of literature in our midst; every
day presents us some new production OF genius,
and many of them can compete with the richest
of foreign literature. Poetry is music In words,
and music poetry in sound; both are fairy twin
sisters, born of Taste; they win upon the heart
and subdue those courser passions which ma
ture has wantonly planted within u.s. The fol
lowing effusion, sent to us through mail on
Valentines day, is touching in the extreme.
The poetry (?) was embellished with an artistic
representation of calf S pluck, pierced through
with a skeWer.


To THE EDITOR


''Oh, love pork and beans, do,


And love elder wine;


But more, sweet fellow, 1 love you,


Ny dearest Valentine


And I love taffy-sweet and nice,


And doughnuts superfne;


But more than these [ doat on you


My dearest Valentine"


In the course of time the editor, printer and
publisher began to find out that all was not
gold that glittered. He sported a goodly list
of subscribers, but few, if any of them, paid IN
advance. He began to feel uneasy on his tripod
upon which he had worn out half dozen seats
of pantaloons in enlightening the savages OF
the mountain regions The following gentle
hint to delnquents seems to have been written
upon the spar of the moment, and we trust it
spurred up the stragglers


'sNoTIcE.-We can't live on air, and prom
ises are very unsubstantial food-they wont
make the pot boil. Those of our subscribers
who haven't paid up, are perfectly at liberty to
send us cash, bacon, -four, wood. homespun,
tobacco, whiskey, or any other substantial ar
ticle but promises.


Poor fellow all his visions of a prosperous
city had passed away. Fudgetown was but a
lone horse" place after all-its people mean
and close-fsted, and its lack Of taste shocking!
He sold out, and went to Texas, that last lone
asylum Of the wanderer.


With the new editor came new dress, new
type and two added columns. A grand flourish
of trumpets announced the change politics be-
came paramount to everything else, and flaming
articles from numerous contributors gave tea-
ture of importance to the journal which made it
at once an oracle Abolitionism had swollen to
fearful magnitude at the North sectional
rancor was growing more and more bitter every
day, and violent war of ink prognostlcated a
war of lead and STEEL Nobly did the s'Moun-
taineer" battle for State-rights and, when the
doctrine of Secession began to be mooted, there
was no journal South of Mason and Dixon s
line that showed bolder front in the right
cause The John Brown raid met with its full
condemnation, and the boldness of its press in
opposition to Yankee usurpation, caused Fudge
town to loom up in grandeur from the obscurity
that had formerly mantled it. Before people
did not trouble themselves to enquire whether
there was such place laid down on the map
now Fudgetown was known by name, though
not by locality. How few of the Southern peo-
pie would have known that there was town
out among the Northern lakes, bearing the old
French name of La Crosse, had it not been
brought to notice by the unfinching "Brick
Pomeroy?"


A private letter, partly printed in the Pal
Mall Gazette, says that the writer, who is an old
resident, never knew Jamaica in such state
of dependency. None of the better classes
no educated person-would remain if they could
manage to get away. The country is deeply in
debt, no effort is made to develop her resources,
and taxation is largely increased" Regret is ex-
pressed that the colonists no longer possess sany
thing like self.government" The Parish of ST..
AIMS, that in 1910 contained thirty sugar es-
tates, now has thirteen, and on the point of
Il ne