Year: 1868

Wanted.


A somewhat pointed and spicy fe'
male writer thus calls to the young
men:


ga woman wants you. Don't forget
her. No matter if you are poor. DOM
wait to be rich; if you do, ten to one il
you are fit to be married. Marry while
you are young, and struggle up togeth.
er. But mark, young man, the woman
don't want you if she is to divide hel
affections with spittoon or whisky
| jug; neither does she want you if you
don't take care of her and the little
after thoughts that are pretty sure to
! follow. She wants you for compan.
ion, a helpmate She wants you to
have learned to control your passions
in short, the image of God, not in the
likeness of q beast If you are strong
in a good purpose, firm in resistance to
evil, pure in thought ami action, as you
require her to be, and without such in
ward purity neither of you are fit for
husband and wife; if you love virtue
and abhor vice; if you are gentlemanly,
forbearing and kind, and not loud
talking, excitable and brutal young
man, that woman wants you; that
modest, fair, cheerful, bright-looking,
frank-spoken woman-we mean one who
fills your idea Of maiden and wife. Il
is she who wants you; marry her when
you like, whether she is rich or poor,
We will trust you on the above condi-
tions without other security


YOUNG MANS REPLY.


"Your announcement is very fatter-
ing, Miss. suppose you are "a widow.
| should never have suspected that an
humble individual like myself should
be in such demand. But a qaid pro
quo is generally understood in such
cases. Allow ME to inquire what it is
in this. Suppose | Danish tobacco and
smash that imaginary whisky jug, will
she break her looking-glass and put hel
hands into the dish-water? Will she
be willing to struggle up together, as
you advertise, or will she class her little
elegant expenses as necessaries of life,
and when l try to reason with her and
exhibit my fabby purse, will she op.
pose crying spell and seven days
pou: to the testimony of figures and the
logic of poverty? What does she want
me for-if | am, as you say, 'hrm in
the resistance of evil, pure in thought
and action, gentlemanly, forbearing, and
kind p Where is that gay young clerk
with whom l saw her flirting in church,
Where is that reputedly fascinating and
dangerous young man, who don't love
virtue and abhor vice. on whom l once
saw her lavishing her smiles. l should
think she wanted one of them, not me.
But experiments with them were only
to see how adroitly she could handle
Goals without being blackened. Does
she want an honest, stay-at- home hus
band as base of operations from which
to enlarge the sphere of her firtations
Have her coquetries carried her as fal
as the safety of her maidenly honor
will allow, and does she wish for the
larger liberty and the more extensive
facilities of matron to push the con
quest of her charms into q new terrific
ry? Shall l be like the coin in bank
vault. on the strength of which double
its face of paper currency is issued
Will she glory in her ignorance of eve.
rything worth knowing? Is her litera-
ture limited to Jenkinsian description
of what Mrs. So-and-So wore at the
last party, and her artistic faculties to
connoisseurship in silks and millinery
Will her nights be passed in ball
room, her mornings in bed, and her
afternoons in calls aud talking small
scandal? Finally, are you sure there
will be any after thoughts on whom
can spend my daily earnings, and wha,
l may save by banishing cigars and the
whisky Jug, or will that money rather
be needed to meet doctors bills and the
expenses of her whims, that she may
not be kept from society and confined
to the nursery? I presume it is all
right, of course, but would prefer to
have these few questions answered
before entering into a service from
which there is no honorable discharge
but DEATH


UNABLE.-A Western journalist,