Year: 1868

LOVES LABOR LosT-THE LABoRER GETS
WHACKED OVER THE HEAD, SHOT AT, AND Is
ATTENDED WITH MISFORTUNE GENERALLY.
We have story from the western suburbs
which we think worth giving, whether true
or not. A young man, who was in love and
beloved, all against the will of the old folks,
contemplated and proposed elopement. The
young lady seemed to like the idea, and the
young man engaged the assistance of third
party, very warm friend to both of the
lovers. The arrangements were to get a
buggy and carry it to the vicinity of the
young lady's dwelling, at o'clock A. NJ.
The friend was to 60 to the basement door
of the dwelling, where he WAS to meet
the damsel and take her to her betrothed, +,
who would drive to the Southern depot, take
the cars, and 60 off to be married at the
nearest possible point. The reason for as
signing the friend to the most dangerous
part of the job, that of really capturing the
Gagged bird, was that he was better ac-
quainted with the bulldog on the premises,
and might be better enabled to keep him
quiet.


Well, the plan was perfected and carried
out so far that we find the friend safely in
waiting at the aforesaid basement door.
The night was dark; the bulldog, Teaser,
was sleep; and the young man was scared.
But he did not mind this so the romance
came. He waited with a beating heart,
feeling like the schoolboy deputed to go up
the apple tree while the others were keep
ing watch below, when suddenly click went
the lock of the basement door, and he
started towards it, anxious to perform his
errand as quickly as possible. The door
opened, and he seized her, as he supposed, !,
by the hand, saying hastily, "All right; ;
follow me-" Bip was the sound in reply !;
which sound denoted lively concussion
between his left eye and fist somewhat
harder than her's; which cOncussion stag
gered the young man considerably; not SO
much, however, that he did not follow i'm
mediately very strong impulse to take to
his heels. He had not gone many steps be-
fore he was forcibly reminded Of these ia
miliar lines:


THE watch dog Is snaring


For fear that Annie, darling,


His beautiful young friend, III steal away"


Teaser was at his heels nipping vigor-
ously, and his chances for escape seemed
slim between that quadruped's efforts to de-
YOUR his hindmost leg and loud cries of
Robbers robbers! Shoot him " from the
house. When our friend reached the fence
he made leap that would have gotten him
an engagement with any circus company
but that he nearly tore his coat off in get
ting over, and was nngracefully received
into the cool recesses of q newly-made mud
puddle in his descent on the other side. AS
he picked himself up, bang went gun
from the inner side, and the shot pattered
along the fence in manner that told him
he was in an unhealthy proximity, and
forced him to resume his retreat on the re-
serve. The clatter of hoofs and the rat
Ting of buggy soon told him, however,
that the reserve was also on the eretreat, and
he was deserted. He returned home,
swearing in future to attend to his own
business and keep from getting his eyes
blackened and clothes torn in other peoples
affairs. The lover has wisely resolved
never again to try elopement; and what
might have proved romantic affair has
thus been abruptly ended. :.


The inquiry naturally suggests itself,
Who was it that was mistaken for the young
lady, and how was it the plan failed! These
are questions we are not prepared to an
swer, as the parties concerned only reply &c
our questions, "We have nothing further
to say in the premises"