Year: 1863

EllAbdJiOIlS.


Ofall the self-important little worms


upon the footstool, the inflated littl,


fool just arrived from college is "thc


chiefest among ten thousand, and tn,


one altogether lovely" The pomad,


upon his hair is the balmiest of per-


fumes, the onguent upon his incipicnt


moustacho and whiskers is the most


heavenly of mixtures, the perfume


upon his handkerchief is the most raw


ishing Of odors, the pattern of his pan


falcons the most malignant type OF


the fashions the set of his coat the


most marvellous achievement of art


the tie of his crayat and his immacu-


late linen the wonder Of the girls and


the envy Of the men, and the astonish-
ing breyity Of his feet more miraculous
than the feat of n coniuror How


the girls banker after him! how the
young men envy and hato him but
after all he becomes a model TO all
who have so few brains rs to be forced
70 borrow ideas from their neighJor.
What a bountiful contributor we were
to all these divine rights" when We,





Mater, and spread out all our accom-
phshments and good clothes to the
natives Of our. childhoods homo =
What wonderful age Of civilization
had wrought It's best achievements
upon our plastic mind and retired
habits, during our days Of college in
cubation There was glory and bliss
in the results OF the change. That
pretty girl that formerly refused TO
speak to tho boy at the plough-tail
"cottoncd" to the same boy when coll
lege honors were cumbersome to his
brow. We have a faint recollection
Of a "boundless contiguity of"-shawls
and coat sleeves upon sundry occasions
thereafter The old lady that declined
to have such BOBBY take her girls
out to spelling-schools and paring-boes
changed the key of her music, and
exclaimed with astonishment, "what
a prodigious fine lad he has grown
DO come up and spend an evening,
the girls viii be glad to see YOU"


Anybody but a boy with the largo
furnished to college boys
only, would have been 50 highly fat
tered at this, that doubtless they would
have taken their "chist" and moved
there as a regular boarder. But we
only went ON trial, and should have
staid till this time, but the old lady |
was always tickle. One evening she
unexpectedly. came upon us, and found |
us making miscellaneous love TO
girl straightway upon our
next visit, she gave us just as cordial
an invitation to go home as on a for
mer occasion she had to como up and |
see the girls. "Ficklc as a woman"
Is just as true a comparison now as
over. We do not particularly blame
Jhe old lady, but we have often renec-
ted with very hard feelings that but
for her interference we might have
married early, and continued to eat
her apple-sauce and pork to this day,
with the lingering hope latent in our
heart that the lease Of her worldly
wealth would expire and leave us res
duary legatee. But it was otherwise
ordered, and she made such fuss
lbout our personal affairs that after
ew months of careful attention TO her
girl, we became convinced
hat California offered better induce
nents to boys of our metal and capac-
ty than any country nearer homo
The first flush Of this thought made
Is as happy as a bcggar in a poor

house; but gradually the sense of un-
'asiness stole over us, and a realizing
ense of how we should feel TO come
,ack in few years and find that tho
,rettiost girl in town had thrown her
elf away upon the Apothecary's boy /
+ somo sniveling dry goods clerk I
What should we do in the long ove-
iings for something to hold against
ur waistcoat? How should we ever
i've to keep our arm away from the ,