smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1867

not to return until morning. That Is
how was put In this room


So here | was. ris-a-,gs to Miss Nav
Stevens, that mythical lady. for the
first meeting with whom | intended to
have got up such superlativp toilet.
and she in her night-cap, and / in nv
drawers-a nice style of Introduction,
and a nice style of toilet. And she
by this time was as cool as the 2lst Of
December, aud stood looking me right
IN the eyes as ] made some scrambling
explanation of my being found in that
most extraordinary situation and COS
tune 1t was a lame explanations
wonderfully mixed up with irrelevant
matter, and stanmercd and suffered
through i'll a way that should have
dIsgusted any sensible person. She
seemed to be seriously pondering and
thinking during the recital. and at Its
end, looking at M as though asking
the most simple question in the world
said


W hat to be done ,"


Let me jump out of the window,
as ! came III, said, in sickish tone
of voice; and then rejecting that it
would never do to put these clothes
on again. nor to stroll about the farm
as | was | as hastily cxcIaimed:


No! no / won't GO. / must
have decent suit of clothes. won t
90 without en-" and began looking
around for my trunk.


While | WAS doing so | heard a
noise behind me, and turning quickly
around saw she had sprang into bed
and was dragging the clothes about
her up to her neck.


ou must dress Yourself and 90
away" she said. I will lie still with
my head covered until YOU are gone.


And SO she did, burying her head in
the bed-cIothes to suppress her laugh
ter. | hastily opened my trunk and
got out another suit, and as hastily
arraycd myself in 1t. Then ! hastily
departed, and | venture to say with
ont the slightest fear of dispute that
no man ever sneaked out OF his own
room more stealthilv.or more ignomin-
iously than ! did.


That morning we met. Nav Stevens
and !, at the breakfast-table. | in
the character Of the newly arrived,
and were formally introduced, during
the ceremony Of which we astoundcd
every one present, and planted Il thorn
of wonder IN the sides of Nettie and
Carrie, by bursting simultaneously into
a hearty laugh, which we have never
failed to repeat whenever the memory
of our first meeting comes up. And
now YOU have the whole story of how
| first met my wife To my mind
there has not been such another meet
ing since the memorable occasion Of
that first one in Eden.
Year: 1867

DRUNKENNESS IN AFRICAN. Du
Chaillu, IN his account of ira wells in
Central Africa, says; L found tribes
which were very fond of Intoxicating
drink, and that drank morning and
night, many of them being nearly al
WAYS intoxicated They have four
kinds of drink. which they make from
sugar cane and plaintain water; and
they even take pride IN being able
to make these drinks and get drunk.
When | said to one of them, w hat
a horrible wretch YOU are, to be get
ting drunk in this way : he said to me
u am not ashamed to get drunk
| am not like the gorilla, who knows
not how to make drink. and can only
drink the water out of the woods. i
am able to make my drink good gor-
illas only drink water: man can make
whisky and drink it.
Year: 1867

\ TERRIBLE RETRBUTIoN.-A short
time since, a man in good circum-
stances, in or near Olney, H., had his
little daughter. twelve or fourteen
years old, with him hoeing corn all the
forenoon. and when they returned to
the house he ordered her to get his
dinner while he laid downto rest. The
child said: Father, am too tired -
Her father again ordered her to get
his dinner. In return she informed
him that there was nothing in the
house for her to prepare. lie then
repeated the order in more pcrtmp-
tory tone, whereupon the child left the
front room \ few minutes later a
neighboring woman came IN, and search
was made for the child, who, after a
little time. was found under the stair.
way hung by the neck. Cruel treat
ment produced insanity.
Year: 1867

IF the earth was a cannon-ball, shot
at the sun from its present distance,
and with the velocity It now travels,
and if. simultaneous with the explo-
sion. telegram was sent to the solar
inhabitants. the electricity would pass
the intervening space of 95,0OO,0O0
miles aud the message be received IN
FIVE minutes the earth would be seen
coming toward them after the lapse of
eight minutes; the inhabitants would
have nearly two months to prepare
for the shock. which would be receiv-
ed over ten years before they heard
the explosion.
Year: 1867

\ POOR citizen Of Berlin was recent.
ly left some $4,000. Being very old
and feeble, be was puzzled as to whom
he should viii his money. Thinking
none Of his friends worthy of it, he at
last determined to leave IT to a bitter
enemy. who had large family. and
no money excapt his daily earnings.
lie made his viii to that effect; he
made it a condition however, that the
heir should always wear thin, white
linen clothes, and no extra under.
clothes. Should that condition be Vi
olated- even once, the money goes to
the executors.
Year: 1867

There was q jolly old pedagogue, long ago,
Tall aud slender, and sallow and dry
His form was bent and his gait was slow,
A nd his long thin hair was white as snow,
But q wonderful twinkle shone In his eye;
And he sang every night as he went to bed,
"Let US be happy down here below
The living should live, though the dead be


dead"


Said the jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
lie taught the scholars the Rule Of Three,
Reading, and writing, and history too;
lie took the little ones on his knee,
For kind old heart in his breast had he,
And the wants Of the littlest child he


knew;


'Learn while you're young" he often said,
"There is much to enjoy down here be-


low;


Life for the living and rest for the dead u
Said the jolly old pedagOgue, long ago.
With the stupidest boys he was kind and


cool,


Speaking only in the gentlest tones;
The rod was scarcely known in his school
Whipping TO him was barbarous rule,
And too hard work for his poor old bones;
Besides It was painful, he sometimes said |;
awe should make life pleasant down here


below,
The living need charity more than the dead"
Said the jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
lie lived in the house by the hawthorn lane,
With roses and woodbine over the door !;
His rooms we're quiet, and neat, and plain,
But spirit Of comfort there held reign,
And made him forget he was old and


poor.
~ need SO lit le," he often said;
"And my friends and relatives here be-


low


Won't litigate over me when am dead"
Said the jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
But the pleasantest times he had Of all
Were the sociable hours he used to pass,
With the chair tipped back to neighbors


wall,
Making an unceremonious call,
Over pipe and friendly glass;
This was the finest pleasure, he said,
Of the many he tasted here below;
"Who has no cronies had better be dead,
Said the jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
The jolly old pedagogue's wrinkled face
Melted all over in sunshiny smiles;
lie stirred his glass With an old.school


grace,
Chuekled, and slipped, and prattled apsos,
Till the house grew merry from cellar to


tiles,
"Im IN pretty old man." he gently said,
"Pve fingered long time here below;
But my heart is fresh il my youth is fled !"
Said the jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
He smoked his pipe in the balmy air
Every night when the sun went down;
And the soft wind played in his silvery


hair,
Leaving it's tenderest kisses there
On the jolly old pedagogue's jolly old


crown;
And feeling the kisses, he smiled and spid:
"'Twas glorious world down here be-


low;
Why wait for happiness till we are dead ?"
Said the july cd pedagogue, long ago.
He sat at his door one midsummer night,
After the sun hand sunk in the west,
And the lingering beams in the golden night
Made his kindly old face look warm and


bright,


While the odorous night-winds whisper


ed "Restp'
Gently, gently, he bowed his head;
There were angels waiting for him,


know;
He was sure of his happiness living or dead,
This jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
Year: 1867

GONG TO TUxpAN.-The follow
ing true and timely remarks are
from the Ranchero. The writer is
we'll informed in regard to the char
acter and habits of the Mexicans:


We regret 10 put our foot down on
the Tuxpan scheme, for some ofour
very best friends are in the enter
prise, but duty sometimes overrides
the strongest ties of friendship.


Almost any observing mind could
write the history of the Tuxpan
Colony, to-day just as faithfully
true, as to wait a dozen years. For
Americans to attempt the establish
ment of colony in Mexico is so
suicidal a step that We must enter
our solemn protest against it. We
make no doubt that the Tuxpan Col
opy would flourish, and that the en-
igrants would realize their highest
hopes, but. in the success Of the col
ony lies the danger. We all know
that success and wealth would at
once bring the robbers, prestamo-
makers and bandittis down upon the
colony. Should the colonists resist
being robbed, as they doubtless
would, the last one Of them would
be put to death. Just so certain as
the Tuxpan Colony should grow in
to fourishing town, and become
possessed of available wealth, their
doom would at once be sealed. 1t
is useless to go over the grounds and
discuss the thousand and one pre-
texts which would be found tojusti-
fy the pillago, if not the massacre
Of the colonists. While yet there is
time, we say beware how you put
your foot in outlawed Mexico.
Year: 1867

THE STATE BONDs-EXTRA SESSION OF THE


LEGISLATURE.


ST. LOUIS, Oct 15.--It is now said that the
Fund Commissioners OF this State have ordered the OFF,
GERS of the Bank of Commerce OF NewYork to apply tho
State funds now in their hands the payment OF the
past coupons the State bonds The balance 20 tho
credit of the State in the Bank OF Commerce is over two
and a half millions.


The eeBersOn Cfiy Times saws Gov Fletcher win call
extra session Of the MISSOURI Legislature about the lst
Of December.
Year: 1867

contains the following statements


The following is the statement Of the Presidents
views relative the of Mr. Stanton and its pubca
ton here authorized by him Whoever shall take the
place will receive appointment outright Secretary
of War; vice f. NJ Stanton removed for 1t s the
Of Mr. johnson TO make absolute removal OF Mr. Stan
ton under the law IL existed prior TO the passage OF
the Tenure OF Office act which Is held by the
Administration TO be unconstitutional In THIS
opinion Mr.. Stanton concurred when the bill
passed. and himself prepared part OF the veto mes
denying the OF Congress TO pass such an act
The removal Of Mr. Stanton having been accomplished IN
the manner indicated the President will simply send his
message TO the Senate nominating A. B. TO be Secre
tary OF War. by this MEANS it is expected, in case
the nomination is rejected. that possibly Mr. stanton
may be renstated but being out OF office, he viii be
compelled to seek his legal remedy by mandamus or any
other mode If there be any other pointed out by law
This will bring the question TO the constitutionaty OF
the Tenure Office act before the Supreme Court or the
United States for adjudication, and by its De
csOn the right OF Mr. Stanton 70 hold the office will be
decided Under the old law the Executive had power to
suspend removes and the suspension OF Mr. stanton
adopted for the time being out Of abundant cau-


on and in order that this act might also be within the
terms Of the Tenure Of Office BILL but was In the first


instance the purpose the President to make an abso
Lutte removal OF Mr. Stanton OF later II s further
declared that The Cabinet maintains that the Tenure OF
Office bill is unconstitutional.
Year: 1867

Sidney Smith, on one occasion, went to
Brighton to use baths, hoping thereby to
reduce his corpulency. After awhile an
acquaintance met him, and said:


"You are certainly thinner than when
saw you last"


Yes was the reply, ~ have been
only ten days here, but they have scraped
enough off me already to make curate. y
Year: 1867

Tho man on the river who declares
that the water is now rs high MS at any
time this year, because il stands at the
mark he made upon tue fiat. boat, has
struck the level Of about half the reas-
oning Of the world.
Year: 1867

CLYDE, o Nov. 2O.-weston left Nor
walk for Clyde at 1910 P. M, suffering
slightly from an injury received in the
crowd while entering that place. His
whip was broken and he was very much
excited, but he will probably come out
right,
Year: 1867

The report of the Surgeon General
shows that that department is IN pos,
session of the records of two hundred
and forty-four thousand seven hundred
and forty white soldiers who no
have died during the war, and OF the
racords of nearly thirty thousand ne
gro soldiers, and of over thirty thou
Sand rebels. The department has also
the records of two hundred and eight
tbousand soldiers who have been
wounded and disabled in the service:
The average annual strength OF the
white troops In service is little over
forty.one thousand, and tile SICK report
shows one hundred and twenty-five
thousand entries. The army mortality
SnIjpg the year has been about fifteen
hundred. The number of white and
colored soldiers discharged for physical
disability during the year, is about
saven hundred. Nearly eight hundred
pieces OF artificial limbs, such as arms
and legs, were issued during the year
10 soldiers. In the fund of the Medical
Department there is balance OF over
two and half millions,
Year: 1867

OUR devil says that when you see a
young man and woman walking down
the street, leaning against each other
like pair of badly matched oxen, it is
a pretty good sign that they are bent on
consolidation.
Year: 1867

Prom the Peoria Transcript,


A story is told Of fone ofour Copper
head ofhce-seekers, which is too'good
TO be lost. He was down in WASH
ington just after the November elect
ion, besieging Andy for payment for
sacrifices made and services rendered.
Progress was slow, not particularly
through any want Of disposition on
the part Of A. J. to help our friend,
bnt because applications of a similar
character were more numerous than
the President could well provide for.
Our Peorian was vending his melan-
choly way from the White House
when he fingered at Willards. and
chanced to hear lie Of a knot Of gen
tlemen remark that conS0Ls had decli-
ned. Our hero's yisage brightend at
once. He kept his eye on the speaker,
and in short space Of time had him
buttoned holed ont Of the crowd into
quiet corner. My dear SIR said he,
am from Peoria. Illinois, and lave
been through the est political
campaign ever known. i have bled
like water, and the President has Just
told me he would DO anything for me
that lay in his power, bat be had not
single vacant place Oh his hands :
now, sir, heard You just remark that
a cosss,d had declined. and if yeu will
be kind enough to tell me who he is,
and where the consnlship is situated
I'll slip right up 70 the White House
and nail it before anybody else hear;
of it


Out Of kindness to our fcllos-eitizen
W. drop a veil over the explanation
and the scene that eusued. We hay,
only to ~y that the unfortunate ap
plieant is now at home in Peoria il
the capacity Of q private citizen wait
ing for another i" decline of coasols.
Year: 1867

The editor of the Washington
Chronicle, who is in a condition to
speak understandingly On the subject,
says of General GRANTS relations
with Secretary STANTON and the War
Office:


It will be interesting to know that
General Grant looks upon his assign
ment to the War Department by the
President in the light Of a military
order, which he had no right to de-
cline obeying. nor even the right to
protest against. He and Mr.. Stanton
have fully understood each other
from the first development of the at
tempt to oust the latter from office,
aud it is understood that in their con-
fevences regarding the matter, they
discussed at length the influence Of
the acceptance Of the assignment on
Grants political status, as we'll as the
we'll Known efforts of certain parties
to Identify him with the policy of the
Administration.
Year: 1867

SENATOR TRuNBULL, of Illinois,
made political address to his neigh
bors few days since. He concluded
by saying: In little more than
year tit may be sooner, for the Presi-
dent will be removed if it is found
necessary the present incumbent will
vacate the Office. The people are
casting around for a suitable man.
| am proud to say that Illinois has
son in every way worthy to be the
successor of orr lost Lincoln-him
who led our armies through glorious
victory to final success, and never
knew defeat. [Applause.l Other
States also have eminent and capable
men. We may rest assured that the
people, in their wisdom, will bring
forward the right man for the place.
Congratulating You upon the pros
poets ct our country, and thanking
you for the compliment you have
paid me, l bid you good evening
Year: 1867

Our correspondent from French
Lick Springs. whose letter we pub
lish this morning, has fallen into q
serious error in regard to the politi-
cal complexion of Orange County.
Instead of giving such an overwhelm-
ing Democratic vote, its majority for
KERR was only seventeen, and is one
Of the few closest counties of the
Second District.
Year: 1867

pI During the erection Of our Neao
Bailding, The JOURNAL Business
Office riU be located IN the rear
of Cloud d Akin's Drug Store.
Entrance through the 'Al1ey on Main
Street, neat to Marble Hall.
Year: 1867

That sweet scented institution, the Butte County
Press has discovered amongst the rubbish OF North
Caroua history OF Toryism. name somewhat
| similar to ours, and argues therefrom that We are
the descendant of Southern tory of the revolution
Nothing is farther from the truth. Lest the ma
lignant vaporings of drunken idiots should mislead
and deceive some, We deem it proper to say that
ring the American revolution, and our father in the
American army during the war of 1872. Inas-
much, however, We failed to euter the Union
army for the suppression OF the late rebellion,
claim no individual credit for the patriotic action
OF our ancestors. Had We done that the record
would have been complete. As it is, we would not
have the patriots of the revolution condemned as
tories by the maudlin treason breeding scabs that
have sloughed of from the fostering corpse Of an
infamous rebellion. We might return the conpli-
ment and fix up pedigree for eNasperated rebel
friends, were not satisfied that there is nothing
in the history of the human amily--nothing that
well regulated mind can conceve-could adj any.
thing to the disgrace and contempt with which they
confines of the late Confederacy. Deserters from
the rebel army, or too cowardlv to fight fer the
cause they advocate they seek safety for their
worthless carcasses under the liberty of speech
maintained by those whom they daily insult The
records OF hell, or the history of the Five Points
would elevate, dignity and ennoble all such con-
temptible spawn.
Year: 1867

A SUGG ESTloS TO THE LApIES.-it is respect
might do much during the long evenings Of the
coming winter, towards the expense of fencing and
otherwise beautifyiug and adornins the school
house yard. by giving series of Fairs. Our peo-
pie need some amusement during the coming win
ter, and there is not liberal minded gentleman in
the whole country, but delights in being hoaxed by
such efforts OF the ladies. Aside from snch needed
Improvement. there is considerable debt hanging
the district. incurred in the ton of the
building, that might possibly be quidated by such
means. That would save the Pet Lambs OF Oroyille
who are dealing in shoddy dry goods and paper
soled sh oes, from paying tax on their worthless
stock. for such purpose, and enable them to con-
tnue their useless way through the world. Do save
them, ladies of Oroville, from taxation for public
school purposes To tax them for such purpose
is gross attack upon their religion and more
damaging to their eonscences taan the fifty lies
they daily utter in selling worthless article at
fourteen prices-Whch are the same at all their
establishments Under their combination to fleece
the public. If the ladies' will only these beau
iiIai pets from such G;sastes viii p!eso siieIn'
the liberal support of every right minded person i'll
our community. If they are driven from e;.r midst
by being taxed for school purposes, great will be
the. fall of 'shoddy.
Year: 1867

You cannot bear the gaze Of yOar fellow man
Butte County Press.


Judging from your own experience, (and j, is
said that fools will learn in no other sohooi) you
are partially correct; We never could look upon
what might have been your manly form and witness
your bleared eyes and bloated festnres-your sl0b-
berng lips and Trembling without instinct
lively closing the windows 0: soul, lest bar
Dor too great contempt for Southern manhood. if
not for our common humanity.
Year: 1867

SALE OF PERSONAL PKOPERTY.-The personal
property of the Beam Estate will be sold at auction
ca the 9th instant. one week from to-day at the
late residence OF the deceased'on Dry Creek, be
low 0roville. Some valuable property will be sold.
Year: 1867

rayr raB THE AFr1rcrrp-In another part Of this


srsr viii be found the advertisement Of the celebrated
Instte established by J. c. Young in 1850 In this
ace Of deceit and charlatansul il is boon to the sui
e-nn 10 point out to them where they are sure OF OBJ
tanning the wished for and relief Under care Of
.be sirH,l doctor the sick and troubled can divest
themselves Of their burden Of shame lay aside their
cross and secure health and happiness Hyou are SICK
or in trouble do hesate-read the advertisement md
srd follow the advice Do not forget the number or
the manner Of directing your letter Consultation o.
acs css Washington street San Franeif,o
Year: 1867

THE Shoddytes of Oroville boast that they can
live in Oreyille FIVE years if they do not have Gus
TONER. So much the greater necessity for our peo-
pie TO let them entirely alone. Coming here with
nothing ten years ago. they should be satisfied if
they have accumulated sufiieen; to maintain them
in idenes> for the next five ye5rs Fifteen years is
quite long enough for any community TO maintain
a score Of vagabonds. who have done nothing but
retard the advancement of the town. With all
the advantages 0rnville possesses it has been go
ing down. as they have grown rich. If that is all
orovle is existing for. its people are engaged in
an excessively small business. Let them alone un-
til their places supplied by honorable dealers
men who have sense enough to know that they can
prosper best when the surrounding community is
prosperous, and public improvements are going on.
Leave them in their kennels


To stink and sweat and sweat and stink;


To shriua and swell and swell and shrink;


To rot and pack and pack and rot


I'LL he'll for them is seefhius hot.


Then with i-nEss to guard the holes.


To shake the fires and the Goals.


Keep them. while ages circle round.


in their warm kennels meath the ground