Year: 1865

You have often asked me, Nellie,
to tell you of my past life. To tell
you of the days before age and sorrow
had whitened my cheek, dimmed my
eye, and thinned and silvered my once
luxuriant hair. of the days when
was young like you, although not like
you, beautiful Perchance in the pride
of your youth and loveliness you have
thought somewhat contemptuously,
even while asking for my story, that
there could be no romance connected
with your plain old aunt. Well, per-
haps there was none. But you shall
judge.


II was, as you know, the eldest of
ten children, and from my childhood
my recollections were of struggles
against poverty. Not actual grind
ing want that could have been easi-
er borne. But ours was that gentle
poverty, always striving for position
which it cannot maintain that be-
lieve causes more bitterness and mis-
cry than can be found among the
starving inmates of the cheerless, fire.
less dwellings of the acknowledged
poor. My father was hard-working
man, as indeed he was compelled to
be and so tired and worn out when
he returned from his days employment,
that it is little wonder he should be
sometimes stern with his children.
But we did not understand lido the
young ever understand the old and
were all afraid and alienated from him.
My mother must have been pretty
woman at one time, although cannot
remember her without the careworn,
anxious look upon her face. She was
ambitious, too, for her children, not
herself, and it was for them that she
struggled so hard to maintain appear
ances before the world. She was bit
terly disappointed in me. She had
hoped that | would grow up beautiful
and attractive. But as | said before,
| had no pretensions to beauty. In
deed, among my brothers and sisters,
who were all remarkably handsome,
my plainness was a daily subject for
jest, and my mother constantly griev-
ed over my unattractivencss. She
was consoled, however, by the beauty
of my sisters. The twins who came
next to me were especially lovely, and
she spared no pains or sacrifice in
dressing them, so as to best enhance
their charms. The winter they went
into society was quite gay one fol
our quiet village, and our stiff, would.
be fashionable parlor was crowded al
all hours with the admirers of Kate
and Isabel. Two young men, broth
ers, from distant city, were especial
ly attentive, and in the early spring
we had double wedding. My moth
er's pride and triumph could not bt
clouded even by the pang of separa
ton from her daughters, and even my
father relaxed his sternness as he fell
with relief there were two less Il
support.


"All my mothers care was now ex
pended upon younger sister, who al
SO gave promise of great beauty. Nj
she left to myself, and although ! trie'
to persuade myself that would rathe
have it so--that it would have beel
irksome and disagreeable in the ex
treme if | had been forced to go on
with the others-yet could not resis
a feeling-I do not think it was jeal
ousy or envy, but feeling Of NORTH
cation, that in everything my sister
were preferred was nobody in tn
house. Undemonstrative and reticen
by nature and habit, was misunder
stood, and thought cold and unsympa
thizing The little ones never came t
me with their baby joys or sorrows
Nv sisters never coniided to me tn
history OF their conquests. The boy
ish hopes and aspirations Of my brotl
ers were never poured into my ears


Hester is 30 cold they would say
she would not understand And s


by degrees sense Of alienation grey
upon me, and also bitter sense Of in
Justice. 1t was not my fault, though
angrily, that | was ugly; yet m


plainness seemed to be considered


crime. 1t was not my fault that wa
considered cold ; it was rather tn
fault of those who would not look bt
meath the surface to the warm woman
heart that throbbed within my bosom
. heart with all woman's devotio


and strength Of affection, heart tina
tyearned and thirsted for the love tina
was so sparingly dealt out to it. Thu


Thought and felt, as Irebelled agains
my isolated. dreary life. But ther
soon came day when the earth flusl
ed into new, strange beauty, whe


the sun shone with a brilliancy Ill
known until then when the bird