Year: 1860

Yes, | believe | have discovered the secret.
and, being of generous disposition, am de-
termined to offer it to the public without de-
manding twenty five cents in postage stamps 4"
In the first place, to become rich You must
forget that any one else is poor; no applicant
for charity must enter your portal, no wander
ing minstrel, who gives airs from ''Norma,"
with agrowling accompaniment, upon crack
ed organ, must receive from your hands pen
ny to go away and you must turn ever and al
ways cold shoulder upon every thread-bare
relation. To public charity you may now
and then subscribe something; but be careful
that you do it ostentatiously, so that every one
may say, "Ahl Mr.. u, is charitable man, his
name is down for ten dollars on the Hindoo
Relief Society's circularP Never, ON any ac-
count put the doctrine of not letting your
left hand know what your right hand doeth,"
into practice. That sounds very well in church
and prayer meeting, but for actual life, your
old method of making your good deeds known
far and near is better Where would be the
use OF performing commendable actions if no
one gave you credit for them Remember as
a rule, not to allow any one TO take advantage
Of you but take every possible advantage of
every one else; and let no mistaken feelings of
honor prevent you from making a few dollars





Regular professions, requiring study and
application are not recommended to those
who desire to become rich. Long years are
wasted in acquiring knowledge instead of
dimes, and reputation instead Of dollars. To
humbug successfully is to become wealthy i'm
mediateiy; and as people are more easily as
sailed through the medium of their appetite,
their hypocondriasm, or their personal vanity,
the invention of new liquor patent pill or
potion, or an unfailing hair dye, will perhaps
answer your purpose better than anything
else Only be bold enough about it. Vow
thet the beverage is the most delicious ever
tasted, that the pill will cure everything, from
consumption to toothache, and that the hair
dye is better than the hue impaired by ma
ture's hand. Write bold list of emperors,
queens, dukes and Methodist ministers, as
vouchers for the excellence of your invention,
and select the most poisonous ingredients, SO
that it is the cheapest, for the preparation of
your compound whatever it may be- Never
pause to think of the effect which will be pro
duced upon your patrons: money is your
object-remember that What If the es-
Unable beverage patronzed by Viscount
Pollywog and the Rev Mr. Dundreary
does throw its consumers into fits of collie, as
you knew it would, when you colored it with
yerdgris and favored it with oloesl Whati il
the hair dye is light blue, orange or crimson;
or if the pill is the means of assisting your
deluded patients TO shuttle Of this mortal coil
at an early and unexpected period That is
no affair Of yours. You have nothing to do
with their folly. You are driving on the road
to the temple of Mammon, and your horse
must be a fast one, for you have bet largely on
him. II you pause TO think Of other peoples
troubles, yon viii never become rich--and TO
be rich, beloved brethren, is great object, if
you value the opinion Of this world Yon
may be perfect blockhead, without one
grace or charm Of person or manner, and
yet, II you are rich, no one will discover it
What would be vice in poor man is little
folly in a wealthy one. What would be AFRO
gance and assumption in two-story brick
house is proper dignity in stately marble
front


Follow my advice, then, and become rich, If
you can, disregarding the means whereby you
attain your object, and remembering only the
elevating and refined adage-"Dirty hands
make clean money