Year: 1865

in one way and in another. The tho't
made my heart warm to her yet more
" You may come tomorrow morning"
l said "Come at half past six, and ask
the porter for the key No 10 You will
find q broom in that closet behind the
door, and you can get the room swept
and busted before the girls come to
work. 4" ~ Hgat


" Yes'mi" aie N


Another droH little courtesy, and she
was gone. e a. sn


Then went back to my thoughts
again. They were little less melan-
choly and self-compassionate, however, for
the diversion Yet had lost so much.
Before the war began my father had been
one of the wealthy merchants Of New
! York. He did large wholesale bust.
ness, mostly with the South, and when
the crisis came it ruined him utterly. In
the summer of 1861, we went to a little
place in the country which belonged to
my mother, and there he died. | think
it was his trouble that brought on the
long, slow fever from which he never ral-
lied Then in that fall after his death, /
had to decide upon my future We had
scarcely hundred dollars in the world
besides the little place which sheltered
US, but which insured us only roof over
our heads My mother was delicate
woman, accustomed ever since her mar
riage. to be petted and waited on and
tended. She was utterly broken down
by her grief at the loss Of my father. I
must think for both and work for both.
!, too, had been accustomed to luxury,
and never trained to do anything useful


had received a fine lady sort of educa-
tion. / could play and sing--with taste
rather than with science ] danced we'll;
l drew little; read French; / could


manage Italian enough for a song; but
what one thing did know well enough
to teach it? Not one. And even if
had, there were fifty applicants to every
vacant situation in the department of in
struction. Z Clearly | must do something
besides teaching. / could not sew fast
enough to earn much that way What
was | good for2 Ny self-esteem went
rapidly down to zero, when suddenly a
new idea took possession Of me. 1 had
one endowment which l might make
available as capitai---taste in dress. l
use the word in their highest sense. !
not only knew what was pretty when /
saw it---Isknew what would be pretty be-
fore saw it. had original ideas. In
the days when had been leader Of
fashion in my own set, my dresses and my.
trimmings had never been, servile imita-
tions Of French models. / had always
invented something for myself, often for
my friends Schneider had said that my
taste would be a fortune to any mantua-
maker 1t should be fortune then to me.


/ matured my plan and then commu-
nicated it to my mother. AS / had fore
seen, it vexed her sorely at first. But
when Il set matters before her in their
true light, and she saw that afforded our
only chance of comfort and independence,
she began to look on the idea more fa-
vorably. She made only one stipulation
that / should not attempt to carry out my
undertaking in New York To this was
quite ready to accede The supercilious
patronage of all my former friends would
have been a.burden quite too heavy to be
borne [ should feel more comfortable,
even if made less money, to begin else
where. My scheme was quite an ambi-
ticus one. ignored the proverbs about
small beginnings, little acorns, and so on.
| meant to storm success at the outset. /
let the house which we were occupying
for year, and arranged to leave my
mother with the new tenants hntil4 was
ready to come for her; then / went to
Boston LtAt re sifsa ,s
| found vacant rooms on Summer ST.,
in which nearly all the upstairs apart
ments were used by milliners and dress
makers / had no references, but engaged
to pay my rent monthly in advance; and
having paid the first month, / arranged
my rooms, and put my sign--"MIss MAC
eREcoR'-on my door. and down stairs at
the lower entrance. l had hired dress
maker to go on.,with me from New York;
one wE0 had been in the habit of goif e
out by the Gay, and had often sewed for.
me on common dress es She conld fit ex-
ceedingly well, but she would have been
utterly wanting in the comprehensive abil-
ity necessary to carry on. business, and
she made no pretensions to taste about
trimming. She was quite satisfedtof be
hands and let me be head, and would be
contented with her weekly wages In one
of my rooms was wardrobe bedstead,
which she and were to occupy together
till | could send for my mother. These
arrangements made, sent to the Iraas-
cript an advertisement setting forth the
claims to patronage Of Miss Macgregor
from New York.


The evening. the notice appeared, sat
with it in my own room--where, until it
was time to retire, Miss Granger never
intruded. The die was cast, and now I
must go forward. For the first time a sort
of passionate regret, wild misg wing,
took possession of me, and I cried bit
terly. It.seemed to me | had given mp
everything valued in life. IF my social
position, my New York acquaintances,
| had heen all I coold have horna If with