Year: 1869

From the DeS Motnes Register.


Des Afoines came very near having
double wedding on Saturday last,
but fortune didn't favor the brave and
foolish children as much as she might
have done. The folks who were thus
going to lanch this dOuble-masted
schooner on the stormy waters Of we'd
lock, were the children of WeIl-to-dO
farmers, in a county that went "teeth
and toe nailsn for Frank Palmer for
Congress last fall. They were all of
separate families, and resided several
miles apart, but distance seemed to
lend great heaps Of fenehantmenttO to the
view Of each others roostin-places,
and as q very natural consequence the
two bows fell head over heels in love
with the two girls, the girls experien-
cling the same fall. Being in love OF
course they wanted to marry, but
right there the old folks on all sides
failed TO see things as they stood, and
interpOsed their pateTnal authority to
smash their slate, and wouldn't Katify
worth Confederate shinplaster. The
young folks represented their own
counsel, and planned double elope-
ment. The girls made such prepare
ton of their clothing as best they
could, and took a sly way of getting it
out of their houses. They would post
pone milking the COWS until it was
Quite dark, when they would go and
carry with them some article or an
other of apparel and hide it away in a
haystack. Thus they worked for
about ten days, and had most OF their
necessary ''duds" safe, when a sudden
notion wiggled its way into the head
of the pap of girl No. to put that
particular stack of hay into market,
and in doing so avaried collection was
brought to light, when about half the
stack was gone, to the astonishment
of the old man. This put him on the
scent of a very large mice, but he re-
placed the articles and went to the
pap of girl No. 2, and after strict
search similar package was found in
the same kind Of quarters. Mum was
the word all around the circle, and
they watched that night. This was
last Friday night. That night the
boys were to come for the girls, who
were to be at the stack of No. /, when
they would leave that region for the
capital, and be married on Saturday.
At suppeFgirl No. 2 asked her mother
for permission to go over and stay
all night with girl No. /, which was
granted. The old man just then re-
membered that he wanted to see the
father of No. 1, so he bore his dRugh-
ter company, which of course was
very pleasant to her The girls retired
at about o'clock, but were intending
to step out at a side door at midnight,
but the old chaps kindly locked the
door from the outside and left them to
ponder over the stern fact that the
course of true love never has run any
smoother than a-gO-cart. After look
ing out for several hours, wagon and
team were heard coming across the
field in the direction of the storage
house of the girls. When within
about fifty yards, the boys signalled
with a clear shrill whistle, which was
answered by one of the men with
"John is that you ?" OF course it was
John, oil over, and very anxious, SO
he sped rapidly to the place from
whence the voice had come. AS he
neared the stack of hay and of expec-
ted bliss, a vision burst upon him
that wasn't laid down on the bill.
Stalwart and erect stood a small
mountain of Iowa flesh, bone and
muscle-pap of No. 1. Johns last
words were, my God! that amt
Kittie!n when he broke away in hot
haste for the team, which made better
time than ever before back over the
road it had come. Thus it was that
our city didn't have a double wedding
last Saturday, and we may be glad
| that it was so prevented; for girls of
fifteen and boys of eighteen know
about as little of life's realities as a
Feeiee Islander does about our Recon-
structiOn laws. and eIopements. nine
ty-nine times ont of every hundred


end in woe, big "weeps," and wish'd-
we-hadn 't-done-it.n