Year: 1860




shapes. We cannot pick up paper, but an
article on skating" meets the eye Every
body says it's fun, and that's all everybody"
knows about il, for We have tried it Last
night, about gas light time, after reading a
glowing description Of life on skates we pre-
ra-ed for our first attempt, and sailed forth to
jim the merry crowd. We had on a pair stoga
boots, trousers legs tucked inside, Robert
tailed coat and white hat. We went down on
the ice and gave boy two shilings in good
coin OF the realm for the use of his implements
We have confidence, even great as Peters
faith. We, with the assistance Of a friend
fixed on the skates, and stood erect, like bar
bar's pole


Encouraged at the sight Of some ladies on the
bridge looking at the skaters, we struck out.
A slant to the right with the right foot-a slant
tn the left with the left foot-and just then we
saw something on the ice. and stopped over to
pick ii up, On our feet again-two slants 70
the right and one to the left, accompanied
with loss of confidence. Another stride with
the right foot, and we sat down with fearful
rapidity, with very little, if any, elegance
What set down it was, for we made dent i'm
the ice not unlike Connecticut butter bowl,
Just then one Of the ladies remarked-'' Oh
look, Mary, that feller with the white hat ain
got his skeets on the right place. Ditto,
thought we. Just then ragged little devil
sang out as he passed U.S. beiIo old timber
legs" and we arose suddenly and put after
him. Three slides to the right-two to the
left, and away went our legs-one to the east
and the other west, causing an immense issure
IN our pants, and another picture of a butter
tray in the cOld-oh how eOH-ice, Then
the lady-we know she was one by the re-
mark she made-again spoke and said -
'-Oh, look Mary, that chap with a white hat
has sat down on his handkerchief to keep
from taking cold" We rose about as grace
full as saw horse, when Mary said" guess
faint handkerchief, Jane, and Mary
was right 1t wasn't a handkerchief-not a
bit OF 1T. Just then friend came along and
proffered us his coat tail as " sseadier We
accepted the continuation Of his garment, and
up the river we went about ten rods, when
shy to the right by the leader caused us, the
ee.-horse, to scoff off on a tangent, heels
up But the ice is very cold this season


We tried itiagain. A glide one way, glide
and half the other, when " "whack" came our
bump OF philoprOgenitiyeness on the ice, and
we saw a million OF stars dancing around our
eyes, like ballet girls at the Bowery theatre
How that shock went through our system, and
up and down our spinal column. Lightning
couldn't have cOrkscrewed it down a creased
sapllng with greater speed and more exhilera-
ting effect. Boarding house butter nor a war
ranty deed, could not have struck stronger
than we did--and a dozen ladies looking at us
and our - fssured" pants!


Hello, old cock, sang out that ragged imp
again, and wsfhere hel pless Soon we got up
and made another trial, with better success.
Perhaps we had skated, in our peculiar sty!e.
fifteen feet, when a laundering chap came up
behind, and we sat down with our tired head
Pillowed up in his lap, and he swearing at us,
when 1T was all his own fault How cold the
Ice was there, too. Every spot where we made
our debut on the ice-oh how cold it was
Our bear sEIn drawers were no protection at
all. We tried again, for the papers all say it's
fun, and down came our Roman @ recian nose
cold I'm m ial ba
OF crimson ran down our shirt bosom, and on
To the cold ice. Once more we tried skating
made for the shore-sat down and counted
damages


Two shillings in cash thrown away. Seven
lateral and one /" frOnteralr bumns on ice
One immense fssure in rs handsome a pair of
ten dollar caSsimeres as man ever put his
legs IN. One rupture in the knee extending
20 the bone. Four buttons from our vest n
''frsgmented" watch crystal, and back ache
big enough to divide among the children Of
Israel. LII you catch US on the smooth. glossy
chilly, freezing, treacherOuS, deceitfuI, slig-
perry, and slip-uppery ice again, you IL know it,
III any one ever hears of our skating again they
will please draw on US at sight for the bivalyes
and accompanying documents. We have got
through skating. It's humbug. It's a avexation
OF spirit, Of business, Of flesh, and a tearer of
trowsers It's headbumping, back aching, leg
wearing, dangerous institutions, and we warn
people against skating. We tried it, and shan t
be able to walk for month Skating clubs
are humbug, and all the rascally Youngsters
wish to get the ladies at it, that they may sec
II they too don't say, ''the icc is dJeadfuE
cold It's nothing to US; but the ladies will
do well to let skates alone, unless they are
younger and more elastic than We are. Oh,
how cold the Ice is-,re can feel az yet"'


On the other side of the question, we find in
the New York Times an editorial enthusiastic
tn .aIo
amusement" From its con Gmore article we
clip the following, of interest to those con.
cerned


And first as to the skate This should never
oe grooved or ''guttered' except for little boys
and women, if women tciH skate. The edge of
the groove cuts deeply into the ice, and SO i'm
pedes rapid progress, and is almost fatal to
graceful movement. For the same reason the
edge Of the iron should not be straight, but
more or less curved, that the point of resistance
and friction may be as small as possible, and
that backward movement may be as safe and
rs easy as forward. A boy in his first season
may well have grooved, straight-ironed skates:
out II he gets on tolerably we'll be ought to be
upon smooth irons in his second and on rock
ers In his third season. The rocker pattern is.
however, sometimes overdone, and within a
year or two skates have made their appearance
without the right angle at the heel by press





arrest his motion. These do very well for the
most accomplished and boldest skaters when
all Is plain sailing and there is no danger
aoead; but In case of an impending collision, a
break In the ice, sulden loss of balance, or
any OF the many pcrils agains which the skater
needs Instant protection, they cannot be relied
upon. Nor do they, as far as our observation
extends, afford advantages either for rapidity
or freedom OF motion, even backward, to com
pensste Tor such great deficiencies in point of
security; and We are inclined to doubt whe her
tney are In any respect better than a we'll
curved rocker (having an arc for instance of
IRON twenty inches to two feet radius) with
right-angled heel


Inc IRON should be as narrow as it can be.
ana keep the foot well from the ice; for the
higher the foot is raised the greater the strain
upon the anole.


The simpler your strapping is, the better in
every way. Two straps-a long one TO 90
round the foot twice and buckle, with return
over the toe; and a short heel-strap-are quite
sufficient. But do not use skates with laced
shoes for straps; your feet will shift and roll in
them. Let your own shoes, which had better
l. L. 60