smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1867

PAY Your TAXEs.-SheriH Smith of Hen
rico, and his deputies, are very busily engaged
in collecting the State and county taxes and
licenses. There is q large amount due, and as
the sheriff has to make his payments to the
treasurer by the 18th December little time is
left in which TO make his collections. Ycster-
day the property of quite number of tax
payers was levied on, and from the stringency
of the money market he WILL we fear, have TO
levy on many more.
Year: 1867

FAIR AND FEAsr.-The good ladies of Rev
DR.. Moores church opened their Fair ana
Feast last night at the lecture room OF tho
church, on Broad street. The entertainment
is well managed and much taste and skill is
displayed in the arrangement of the articles
for sale. We trust that they may receive
liberal patronage.
Year: 1867

A Wires PRAYER.-If there IS any
thing that comes nearer to the implor-
alton of Naomi than the subjoined, we
have not seen il {:


Lord bless and protect that dear per
son whom Thou hast chosen to be my
husband let his life be long and bles-
sed, comfortable and holy; and let
me also become a great blessing and
comfort unto him, shsrer in all his
SORROWS, a meet helper in all his acci-
dents and changes in theworld make
me amiable forever in his eyes, and FOR


ever dear to him. Unite his heart to
me in the dearest love and holiness,
and mine to him in all sweetness, chari-
ty and compliance. Keep me from all
ungentleness, and observation-disclosures
and unreasonableness of passion and
humor. and make me humble and
obedient, useful and subservient, that
we may delight each other according
to Thy blessed Word, and both Of Ils
may rejoice in Thee, having our por-
tion in the love and service Of God
forever. Amen.
Year: 1867




A joke of no sms1 dimensions was
perpetrated on a owing couple in
Tazewell county days ago. 4
young limb of the law in the little city
of Pekin, having agree1 to take unto
himself a buxom damsel from a YER
dant district, one Of his particular"
friends, who, by the way, is a very
handsome young man. undertook to
facilitate" matters a matters little
by the way of an indefinite postpone
ment- Knowing that the day was set
and the guests invited, he repaired to
the home of the young lady at mid
night, called up the family, and wished
to see Miss in particular. He had
come as Mr.. -, from Peken, q par
ticular friend of her intended to inform
her that her intended had slightly
changed his mind, that he had tho't
the matter over, and concluded that
he was too poor to marry, and there
fore, must be excused. As might be
expected, the young lady tainted. and
the old gentleman expressed himself
well satisfied with the change. He had
always opposed it any how, and it was
all right. Here our handsome young
man left. Next morning the young
lady and the old gentleman started
out to inform the prospective guests
that the zig was up" that ''circum-
stances" for once had altered cases,
and "Mollie" was going to remain sin
gle. The old gentleman repaired to
the little city of Washington-not
where Andy lives, but where the young
gentleman's father lives, and seriously
informed him that his son Ike" had
played OFF on our ''Mollie." Ike's
father declared he would disown him
if so, and Immediately left for Pekin
to learn particulars. Arrived in Pekin
he found Ike who was as ignorant of
the circumstance as S buffalo on the
plains of Nebraska. As soon informed
of it, Ike left post haste for his lady
love. Unfortunately for him, he ar
rived IN the night, and mora unfortu-
nate still, they believed the story to be
true, and would not allow him to see
the girl at all. But see her he would
and see her he did. OF course he soon
made everything satisfactory in every
particular, and the wedding which
should have taken place on Thursday,
was postponed till Sunday, one week
ago, when all went of in the most
pleasant possible manner, the old gen.
tleman declaring that he always in
tended to give Mollie to Ike, who he
trusted would live a long and happy
life together. Let US hope they will
Who is the handsome young man ~
Year: 1867

How TO SToP THE Flow OF Blood
Housekeepers, mechanics and others
handling knives, tools and other sharp
instruments, frequently receive cuts
from which blood flows profusely, and
often endsngers life itself. Blood may
be made to cease to flow as follows -
Take the fine dust of Tea and bind it
close to the wound. After the blood
has ceased to flow laudanum may be
advantageously applied to the cut.
Year: 1867

A gentleman well known in the oil
country, having become possessed of
property, had lately a concert at his
house. Wishing to be thought a man
of taste, although he knows nothing Of
music, when looking over one of the
performers, who had his violin under
his arm-"Why don't you play ?" said
he. Sir" said the musician, pointing
with his bow to the book, "here are so
many bars of rest" "What do you
mean by rest? Ipay you to play not to
rest %
Year: 1867

A shoemaker, intending to be absent
a few days, lampblacked a shingle with
the following, without date, and nailed
it upon his door: "Wll be at home in
ten days from the time you see this
shingle."
Year: 1867

A friend gives US the account of q
most terrible case Of the burial of a
handsome young lady at Jacksonville,
Illinois. Sometime last summer, q
young lady of seventeen years of age,
suffering with the toothache, went to
bed with q phial Of chloroform for
the purpose of quieting her teeth. In
tho morning she was found to all ap-
pearances dead which was confirmed
by the opinions OF several physicians
who were called and examined her
body She was then buried. A
few days since her relatives were a.
bout to remove from Jacksonville,
having located in another State and
had tho remains ofthe young lady ex-
humed, for the purpose Of taking them
to their now homes. Curiosity
prompted them to open the coffin,
when they were horror.stricken on
finding the corpse turned over, both
hands full of hair, and her clothing
torn to shreds, revealing the horrible
truth that the young lady had been
buried alive. The chloroiorm had
placed her in deep trance, the
awakening from which was in her
coffin and grave. The lady was en-
gagged to be married at the time of her
supposed death. A more heat
stricken case we never remember to
have read or heard of.--IndiandpoliS


Ierad.
Year: 1867

A GAY old fellow OF Portland, Maine. sixty
odd years old, recently married blooming
maiden not out of her teens, and in due time
the young woman presented her venerable
but vieoro lord and master four children
at one fell swoop-two boys and two girls
This is certainly handsome little family to
start with, and we are glad to learn that all
are doing well, and that it has been decided
not to drown any of them.
Year: 1867

An able writer gives utterance to this val
uable secret; This looking forward to en-
ioyment don't pay. For what l know of
1t, would as soon chase butterflies for a
living, or bottle moonshine for a cloudy
night. The only way to be happy is to take
the drops of happiness as God gives them to
us every day of our lives. The boy must
learn to be happy while he is learning his
trade; the merchant while he is making his
fortune. If he fails to learn his art be will
be sure to miss his enjoyment when he gains
what he has sighed for
Year: 1867

G ONE OF YOU CAN'T, AND WE PITY


- you. You have tried every remedy but the
ONE destined, by its intrinsic merit, to supereede
all similar preparations. it is not surprising you
should be reluctant to try something else after the
many experiments you have made of trashy
pounds foisted on the public certain cure; but
Year: 1867

Bilious Disorders Liver Complaints.


From DR.. Theodore Bell, Of Ne,o York City.


Not only your Pills admirably adapted to their pur-
pose aperent but find their beneficial effects upon
the Liver very marked indeed. They have in my prac
tice proved efectua for the of bilious conf
plaints than any remedy mention sincerely
rejoice that have at length purgative which is
thy the confidence of the profession and the people.
Year: 1867

The Democrat says lit is a singular CO.
Incidence" that it seldom duns its subscri-
bers Was not the editors brain slightly
muddled when he pcnned this? We
are at loss to see where the coincidence,
concurrence or agreement comes in, OF
how the word coincidence" can properly
be used in this connection. II was, per-
haps, iapsus pengue. AT least this is the
most charitable conclusion.


" hen we first read the sentence in the
Democrat il reminded US Of a remark we
beard very worthy citizen of New Alba
nv make when the writer was twenty-five
years younger than he now is. We were
on the Ohio river on board the good steam
er American Eagle; the stream was bank
full and the boat crowded with passengers;
the day was pleasant and many of the pas
sengers had sought the hurricane deck to
gaze upon the beautiful scenery, and watch
the sun recede behind the western hills,
when suddenly cow jumped overheard
from the boiler deck; every one watched,
in silence, the poor brute struggle with tn
Year: 1867

waves; at length the worthy citizen re-
marked in tonesintended to impress his
hearers with his learning wisdom: "that is
singular COINCIDENCE" Meaning glances
were exchanged among the passengers,
sOcn litter from several was heard. which
was followed presently by a hearty gufftw
from the whole crowd. The worthy citi-
zen grew red in the face, saw the point.
and tried to stop the cachination with a
box of Havanas which he brought from
his state room, but it was no go. The
cow swan ashore and had forgotten her
peril long before the passengers quit laugh
ing at our worthy friend for his misappli-
cation of terms.
Year: 1867

We print another chapter TO day of the
report of the New Orleans Massacre No
man can read it without a thrill of horror
running through his system. 1t is hard TO
believe that those engaged in the massacre
were human beings. Next week the pOr-
tion of the report which treats upon the
condition of affairs in Louisiana will be
published.
Year: 1867

A JUDGE SURPRIsED.-An unwonted in>
reference with the decorum and dignity of
the High Court occurred the other day. A
case had Just been decided, and Mr.. Roberts,
the presiding judge, was engaged 10 some
other business, when he was startled by see
ing lighted torch held over his head by
some one in court. On inquiry he found it
was the losing party in the slit just decided,
who said great injustice had been done to
him, and he was now holding torch to en-
tighten the court and enable them to admin
lister justice Mr. Roberts directed that he
should be fined so rupees for contempt of
court The man proceeded te state his opin-
ion still further, when he was 6Ded l0Or.
He was taken into custody, and released on
the 6ue being Said.-Deihi Gazette.
Year: 1867

PRECEPT AND EXAMPLE. - Many people lead
bad lives that would gladly lead good ones, but
do not know how to make the change. They
have frequently resolved and sndeavorsd it but
IN vain, because their endeAvors have not been
properly conducted. To expect people to be
good to be just to be temperate, etc., without
swowing them how they should become so,
seems like the Intellectual charity mentioned by
the Apostle, which consisted in saying to the
hungry, the cold and the naked, "Be ye fed, be
We warmed, be We clothed" without showing
them how they should get food, ERE or clothing.
Year: 1867

ACCORDING 10 a late visitor, Secretary
Seward is reported to have said " Horace
Greeley is a great man--so full Of genius
and of such power that If he had a particle
Of common sense we should have to hang
him But he is ID fool, and therefore
harmless" ~
Year: 1867

SHOCKING ACCIDENT AT THE BRIGHT
HOPE PI-s-A MINER DAsHED. TO PIECES
SIMULTANEOUS SUDDEN DEATH OF THE WIFE
OF THE VICTIM.-A fearful and shocking
accident occurred on Friday evening last
at the Bright Hope coal pits, in Chester
field county. The unfortunate victim, Mr..
John Weatherman, was standing on plat
form about six hundred feet below the SUR
face, his duty being to unhitch the empty
descending Car and TO- place in the iron
cage the, one just loaded. /, Weatherman
was standing by to perform this duty,
when he was warned from above to look
out for an empty car, which was de-
scending with fearful rapidity. II is
supposed that he did not hear the cry, and
in q moment more the ponderous car, in
its iron cage, struck him with full force.
He was knocked from, the platform, and
thence fell hundred feet lower, to the
bottom Of the shaft. When his fellow.
workmen descended they only found his
mangled and lifeless remains. .l.-...


We understand, that at the time Mr..
Weatherman met his death messenger
was on his way to the pits with the intel.
ligence of the sudden death of his wife
who resides in Manchester.
Year: 1867

REMOVAL OF FIRST NATIONAL BANK.-.
Depositors in the First National Bank will
remember that the effects OF this BANK
have been removed to the banking mouse
of the National Exchange Bank, and that
from and after this morning the business OF
the united institutions will be there con-
Quoted under the name of the First Ma
tional Bank,
Year: 1867

ALARM OF F1RE.-The alarm of fire Sa-
turday afternoon was caused by the burn
ing of chimney on Third street between
Broad and Grace. The chimney was so
heated that it was sfound necessary to apply
water. At the time of the alarm the dead
body of lady was Lying in the house.
Year: 1867

Nearly half century ago, 4 young fellow
with smartish air, though Of a small i'll
proportional figure, landed at the Cape OF
Good Hope, bringing letters ofintroduction
to the Governor of that colony from we'll
known eccentric, Scottish nobleman. This
tair-iaced slender youth held the humble
rank Of an assistant surgeon in the army.


lie soon showed he posed the power of
s,lfappreciation to such degree as requir-
cd little taking down. But this was found
to be no easy task, lie had the faculty
called, in French Tdudace often a good
substitute for ability; but when the two go
hand in hand, they carry all before them in
one shape or other; and as the new surgeon
was as clover as he was impudent, he made
a postion'for himself and, what is more,
he kept it.


Doctor James we give part of his name
as it stood in the Army List in lSG5--was
a physician of Edinburg diploma. As we
shall krow by and by, he never held any
regimental rank, passing contrary, to oil
precedent, to his full surgeoncy on the
staff,


by dates from unquestionab!e records, he
seems to have received his diploma at the
early age Of fifteen. Whether these dates
corresporded With his certificate of baptism
it is impossible to say, as, under all circum-
stances, it may be doubtful whether such a
document ever existed.


Whatever might have been the status Of
military medical men fifty years since James
liked his calling, and, socially speaking, was
gentleman every inch Of him; though
this is not literally saying very much for
him, seeing he was but little man. lie
had fair allowance from some source Or
other; but he never spoke of any relatives
or friends out of the military profession.
His habits were too expensive to be met by
his mere pay and allowances lie kept n
horse and q private servant, and, as strict
vegetarian, would touch none but the most
delicate fruits of the earth. Potatoes and
apples were, to him ''flthy roots !" the odor
of cabbage turned him sick; but he liked
peas, and craved for asparagus, seakale,
peaches, grapes, melons, figs, custard, ap-
pies, and above all mapgocs. Coffee was
the only stimulant he could bear, except
when i'll, and then he would sip diluted
champagne or brandy, incidentally.


Some called him toady; but his letters
of introduction placed him at once in the
best society of the colony Neither had he
health for general visiting. With those
among whom he lived, he made friends and
kept them. His testiness was harmless,
his abilities were unquestionable and it
having been intimated to the governor that
the young medico's duties were to be made
as light as the rules Of the service would
Year: 1867

Some years ugo, when the old steamboat
Ivanhoc, Captain Jimmy German, used to
run from Savannah to Augusta, the incident
we are about to relate occurred, and was
witnessed by our reporter. When the Ivan.
hoe arrived at Augusta, countryman was
seen standing on the wharf, dressed in
homespun, his coat fitting SO tightly across
the shoulders as to raise his arms several
inches higher than nature intended them to
hang. His appearance generally would in
dicatc that he was directly from Okefonoke,
and for the first time in his life, was gazing
upon things pertaining to civilization. lie
was what cur boatman termed "a comlcat
customer" He had never seen steamboat
nor dreamed Of locomotive The appear
ance Of the bridge seemed to be more than
he could realize as fact, and the steamboat
unnamed him. Our boatmen drew him
into conversation, and we're asmuch anus
cd with his remarks as his appsarahee.-
They got him on board the steamer, and
thought they had secured fun enough for
several trips. One Of the officers OF the
boat, was peculiarly fond Of joke, and
deemed the opportunity too good to be lost


lie assured his comrades that he Lad plan
by which lie intended to make Johnny
Green, jump overheard. lie accordingly
brought a hedious looking bowie knife
Which was in his possession, and assuming
prefect sposhbuckter air, approached the
countryman saying-"Ivc found you at last
my man-Ive been locking for you," and
throwing himself and knife into a position
indicating an intention to make bloody as
sault, had no sooner got within arms length
of the enemy than he ioundhimself stretch
ed upon the deck and his knife inpossessiou
of the foe, who fell upon him and give him
the most merciless beating-so disabling
him as to render it necessary for him to take
his bed and keep it When the country
man was satisfied that he had given him
enough, he arose amidst the astonished
lockers on, who had so mistaken his char.
acter, and exclaimed ed-"Gentlemen is there
any other man in your boat looking forme p
They answered there was not, and allowed
him to leave fully satisfied that they had
got the worst Of ,he joke.
Year: 1867

gD- "A Distressed Mother writes to the
Allentown Democrat for advice, which she
gets-thusly: The only way to cure your
son staying out late onights is to break
his legs or else get the calico he runs with
to do your house work
Year: 1867

We find the following amusing fable in
tn. Lancaster Express:


One winters day the farmers wife said
to her maid 'Scrape up all these bits of
fat and of meat, and throw, them to the
hcns-1 hope that it will make them lay
Take care that the old rocoter does not COB
BILE them up"


However, the cock had schooled his little
flock beforehand, by growing to them thus,
my sisters, meat is intended for males it
is strong food, and unsuited to the slender
female frame Everybody knows that hens
have al lsays been more lovely and delicate
than We are, and let it be your care, oh, be-
loved sisters, to preserve the beauty Of this
providen.ial arrangement p


The hens were much moved by this tender
praise of the speaker, and they said one to
anothcs, II DO not want meat, | have plen
ty Of good food without it, see these excel
lent bits of potato and cold turnip." But
one hen in this flock was strong minded,
and, in spite of the eloquence of the cock,
she persisted in picking up the scraps Of
meat.


Then the other hens cried out "Oh,
fe she is stepping oot Of her proper place
why can 1t she he Satisfied to live like the
rest of the wolld?"


The hen was sorry that they were angry
with her but the meat was very good, and
she was further comfcrted when she saw her
nest full of beautiful eggs:
Year: 1867

THE following is the concluding para
graph Of an address made to the colored
people Of Washington. by Ex-Governor
Morton:


"The great example which has been
set by Congress in establishing universal
suffrage in the late rebel States, must
prevail with all the Northern States
where universal suffrage does not yet
exist. When Congress has given suf-
frage TO colored men Of the plantation, it
cannot be refused to the better educated
and more intelligent colored men of the
Northern States. When Representa-
tives of the Northern States have, by
their votes, conferred suffrage upon the
colored men OF the Southern States and
of this District, they cannot deny it TO
the small number of colored men in their
own midst. The question of universal
suffrage in the Northern States, there
fore, can scarcely be considered an open
one. It will be settled in favor of equal
rights and of equal suffrage, in a very
short time, have no doubt, in ali the
States of the North. do not desire to
continue the bitterness OF feeling that
now prevails between the loyal people
and those who have been disloyal. L
would that all the wounds of the Repub-
lie were healed ups But bear in mind
that you are not called upon, neither
here nor anywhere in the South, to show
your willingness to forgive the injuries
of the past by elevating your old oppres-
sors to office. You can show your will
lingness To forgive the wrongs that you
have suffered for generations in other
ways, aud " other means, than again
elevating them to rule over you.
Year: 1867




Riding in the cars, / heard behind me
a shrill voice exclaim:


"Would to God that the Maine-Law
could have passed fifty years agoW


We turned to find an old lady, on the
seat back of US, venturing her wish in the
midst of an earnest discussion between q
Maine-Law Yankee and q red nosed men-
ber of the bottle fraternity.


YES" continued the old lady, fifty
years ago! A husband would not have
gone down to a drunkard's grave, my
daughters married drunkards and lived
lives of sorrow, or my boys have died in
Jail and the madhouse. Look at me-"
and with something Of fire kindling
up in her old eyes, she laid her bony
hand upon the arm of the liquor dealer,
"and see the fruit of your accursed busi-
ness. l was young, and had enough OF
this worlds goods and my heart was full
of happiness and hope. My God sir,
how they have poured desolation into
this old heart! l am often bitter; and
do you wonder? Such as you robbed me
of my children, and at eighty years OF
age l am alone! Do you hear-diOnc
And let me tell you, this hand never
wronged the least of Gods creatures
But you, sir, have wronged me. You,
sir, talk about the domicil, and say it is
sacred. God forgive me, but l remem-
ber the day when nly house was entered
by the constables and skinned of all. /
remember when the Bible my mother
gave me was taken away for drink. |
remember the time when my first-born
was laid in my arms from a drunken
husbands hands, and its little life-blood
ran warm into my bosom from its wounds
Why, sir" said the old woman, hal
rising in her seat, "in Gods holy name
did you come into my house to rob and
kill? Was that constitutional? / have
one child living-in the asylum--a ma
MAC. Its all the work of your hands,
There is blood there! blood, sir! Better,
sir, have milestone round your neck
than sell rum. The curse of the widow
be upon you! 1t will follow you. The
serpents you send out shall return to you
and yours. Give me that bottle ~


Involuntarily as it almost seemed, the
liquor dealer handed the old lady the
bottle which he held in his hand. She
dashed it out of the car-window, and
slowly resumed her seat. The people
who had crowded around, while the train
was stopping, to hear the conversation
slowly and thoughtfully dispersed to
their seats, and the now covering liquor
dealer looked the very embodiment OF
humiliation and shame. With a deer
sigh we turned away, our own faith
made stronger by the Maine-Law sermon
we had listened to. All how many in
our land would have escaped the bitter
ness of life, had rum been banished in
their days s!I[Temperance Advocate.