smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1869

A young gentleman living near Kings
ton went to see his girl the other night,
and when he started for home, the night
being very dark, his inamorat, gave him
a red paper lantern with which to light
his lonely way. He took the railroad as
being the shortest route to his home, and
was walking leisurely along, his mind no
doubt filled with agreeable thoughts OF
the fair one he had just left, when sud-
denly his reverie was brought to an end
by some one in the rear, who gave the
Chinese lantern kick, which sent it
flying. "Damn you," said the person
from behind, s1here I've been slowing my
train for the last two hours on account OF
that red light" And looking behind him
The young man saw freight train, and 1t
was the engineer who had disturbed his
meditations.
Year: 1869

Bah A dose OF rhubarb IS trying |
one Of EPSON salts is repulsive; and one
Of castor oil is utterly abominable; but
any ore is cream and sugar to us compar-
ed with the disgust we feel when we hear
a woman called female. Man who is
meant when you use the word? A mare
is a female; cow is female sow is a
female-so is goose, and a duck as well,
and thousands Of other animals and birds.
Which is meant? Do you dare to employ
it as a proper specific name for woman F?
Out on you! Is lady too delicate term
for you to apply to the gentle sex? Then
use the good old, euphonious, Bible word,
acoman-the name bestowed by better
man than you, even Father Adam. You
ask, Why single you out for censure,
when multitudes employ the term-even
editors in the newspaper and clergymen
in the pulpit? We answer you, The
greater shame is theirs, for they disgrace
their vocation, and Of all men they ought
to know better and do better, or resign
their calling as guides and instructors OF
the people. If they cannot elevate the
tone of public taste and delicacy, let them
not degrade it. How it would shock his
hearers, were clergyman to read a por'
ton Of his Scripture thus:


"Now the serpent was more subtle than
any beast of the field which the Lord God
! had made. And he said unto the female
Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of
every tree of the garden And the .te'
male said unto the serpent, We may eat of
the fruit of the trees of the garden but
of the fruit Of the tree which is in the
midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye
shall not eat of it, neither shall We touch
it, lest ye die. And the serpent said un-
to the female, Yc shall not surely die
for God doth know that in the day ye eat
thereof, then your eyes shall be opened
snd We shall be as gods, knowing good and
evil.


Sand when the .female saw that the
tree was good for food, and that it wal
pleasant to the eyes, and tree to be de-
sired to make one wise, she took Of the
fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also
unto her husband with her; ard he did
eat.r-Gen al. g.


T How would you like it, my friend
Would it not CRATE little unpleasantly
on your ear? Would you not abhor the
noun female, and use it as an adjective
ONLY forever ?-Round's Printers Cabinet
Year: 1869

Fevers seldom make an attack without
warning and may often be thrown off by
soaking the feet in warm water, wrapping
up warm in bed, and taking two or three
of Parsons Iugatire Pills."
Year: 1869

InfantiCide.


The population of New York Increases:
but solely by influx from without, not by
propagation. Every week the deaths ex-
ceed the births. Sometimes the difference


is equal to twenty five per cent. This is
contrary to the law Of nature and can only
be referred to unnatural causes. Infant
killers flourish in our midst. They live in
palaces; they sport superb equipages
their homes are in the fashionable quar-
ter; they are extensively "patronizcd,"
and well paid for violating the laws Of
God and man. They know why the num-
Der of births is from fifteen to twenty per
cent less than the number Of deaths in the
great city of New York. The impudence
of these wretches is refreshing. They
scarcely think it necessary 10 disguise
their vocation in the advertisements with
which they food the sheets that choose to
publish them. Many years ago one Of
them-the queen of the tribe-was sent
to the the Penitentiary; but we have
made giant strides in immortality since
then, and no one thinks Of molesting such
popular conveniences now! There is but
little "baby dropping" now. An infant
consignment to the municipal fathers was
left on the City Hall steps the other morn
ing, but such occurrences are rare. 1t is
easier by far to destroy the evidence Of
crime than to deposit the alien on door
steps. The poor as well as the rich seem
to be intent on the non-increase of the
species, and Malthus and Moloch are
lords Of the ascendant.


1t is not the fruits of RIGHTEOUSNESS
alone that are blighted and destroyed.
Married ladies of fashion who find that
maternity interferes with their pleasures,
are said to be the best patronesses of the
physicians" male and female, whose
business is to interfere With the advance
of population. 1t is unpleasant to state
these facts, but they are facts, and not TO
refrain from exposing them would be false
delicacy and breach of journalistic duty.
If the law is not strong enough to reach
these creatures except when they are
caught in some heinous overt act, let it be
| strengthened and made real terror to
these eyil-doers. The publication of their
transparent advertisements in the newspa.
pers, ought to be made misdemeanor.
They call themselves physicians" bat
not one in ten of them can show diplo-
ma, and they have consequently no right
to the title. Why do not the regular
members of the faculty take the matter in
hand. Are they, too, implicated? Some
people think they are; but if so, the
black sheep are comparatively few, and
there is no reason why the large majority
of honorable practitioners should not at
tack the gigantic evil and its promoters.-'-
New York Sunday Times.
Year: 1869

How would you like it, my friend :?
Would it not CRATE little unpleasantly
on your ear? Would you not abhor the
noun female, and use it as an adjective
only forever ?-Round' Printers Cabinet.
Year: 1869

BOUND OVER case of assault with in
! kcnt to killcamc of before Justice ELDRIDGE
pn Tuesday last ANTON FINCKs was
arrested on the complaint of WENZEL
pwoRAK for shooting at him with a gun


for tunately the cap merely snapped and


the gun didn't 60 off, so the plaintiff got
out OF the way and no damage was done.
|FINCKs was held TO bail in the sum of


$500 for trial at the next term of court.


z he parties live in the town Kossuth.
Year: 1869

How TO KILL A ToWN-An exchange
paper gives the following true recipe how to
kill town:


''If you wish to kill off town. put up no
more buildings than you are obliged to oc
cupy yourself If you should accidentally
have an empty building, and any one
should want to rent it, ask about three
times its actual value Look at every new
comexwith a scowl Turn cold shoulder
to every business man and mechanic who
seeks a home among you. Go abroad for
wares rather than purchase of your own
merchants and manufacturers at the same
prices Refuse to advertise, so that per
sons at distance will not know that any
business is being done in your city. A
prompt and close observance of these rules
will ruin any town in two years.
Year: 1869

TcE-Several parties are busy cutting
ice out of the river 1t is clear and thick
article, and those who enjoy good lemon.
ade and such like, may look forward to a
GOOD time next summer.
Year: 1869

New GDEA-The Green Bay Gazette
says:


ga new pile driver is to be built in Fort
Howard this winter. This craft will be
owned by two OF three oe the business
men of this city. 1t will have 70 #. keel,
and be constructed with sharp bow
There will be two engines, and the boat
will be driven by paddles 1t is to be built
strong and seaworthy, and adapted for ser
of an Improvement on the old style of con-
structng pile drivers, and there is no
doubt that the proprietors will find that
their pains taking and consequent increased
Year: 1869

The quantity Of coal sent to market during
the past mcntb, was far in excess Of the de-
mand for consumption, aud nine mon tbs in
the year Of such production would far ex-
coed the demand.
Year: 1869

In Philadelphia, the stock OF coal In the
yards Il immense. All are prepayed for the
suspension. The stock on hand in the East
ern market is also large sufficient to sop
ply any demand that will be made on 1t for
the next six weeks.
Year: 1869

writer and invalid physician while visiting the
St. x for their health experienced and witnessed many surprising anu
beneficial the Rum there hnvahds VINO were Qke
uve seeking health; and inquiry ard investigation obtained fun history
its medicinal virtues He delighted and surprised and after his own recovery
determined if possible procure the s right to nuure
and the United States


result Of his brs glorious humanity
for PLANTATION BITTERs known the w PAE
TAoN BITTERs being article Of rea! merit upon new End
relying wholly upon vegetable world for its effects worked ra
history medicine and became over the civilized
world The Tlssox Hsmaz the demand for
the PLANTATION BTTTEas exceeded the abilities prope TO supply


Notwithstanding large importation Of st. cyz Rum expressly for COM
pounding Bers the quantity inadequate therefore necessary
should
was dispatched for that purpose securing
leasing several plantations Of the largest and productive
island Houses stills and presses erected BY magic which utterly
natives the island
cured and the pret the PLANTATION BlTT2as position
supply their laboratory with all the perfectly st. coz Rum needed manui
turing the GREAT DyPEPTIc represents
natives crushing and otherwise preparing 1t for the stills and


idoe Fever and Au Intermittent and Mrous Fv Dyspepsia and
other kindred diseases unsurpassed
history world Over million bottles disposed annually They
adapted and male and female They agreeable taste and always
immediate beneficial
Year: 1869

This splendid Tonic is now used BY all elasses Of
people for every symptom Of stomach out Of
ordern


certain to correct the juices Of the Stomach ret all
its machinery al work. and enable It 10 resist aud
throw of the approaching danger. The tendency Of
the operations Of Nature Is always towards cure
How much more reasonable and sensible il isto help
her along with gentle, yet powerful Tonic. than
to delng6 and weaken and defeat her curative pro-
cerses with poisonous drugs aud 6eu mixtures.
and death.
Year: 1869

SMALL-Pox HOSPITAL. fen. Crook, command
ing the Department of the Columbia, has de-
ciuei to permit the use of any of the buildings
at the military post for the purpose of small.
pox hospital. The Couuci met OF Wednesday
evening" and having heard the decision read, at
once determined to procure other quarters,
where those who may be taken down with the
disease can have all proper attention. The mem
bers of the Council doing all that they can
in this matter, and if the scourge cones on us it
will fad us not altogether unprepared
Year: 1869

of contagious diseases, the school iu District No.
/, is temporarily suspended. /; is hoped that
the state and safety of the public health will
soon admit OF the re opening Of the school.
Year: 1869

Pure VACCINE MATTER-Drs. Steinberger &
Mineer request us to say that they have jus: res
ceived lot o: pure vaccine matter direct from
the COW. In vaccination it is of the first inns
portance thai the matter should be pure other
wise the person operated on is liable to contract
n disease quite as dangerous as the small pox.
Year: 1869

The first chapter in a Wes4
tern novel has the following
"All of a sudden the fair girl
continued to sit on the sand,
gazing upon the briny deep,
on whose heaving bosom the
tall ships went merrily by,
freighted-ah! who can tell
with how much of joy and sor-
row, and pine lumber and emf
grants, and hopes and salt
fish,"
Year: 1869

The New York Express says:
The hotels are full OF Southern
men. These people, notwith-
standing the harsh treatment they
are receiving, do not hesitate to
come forward and spend their
first money since the war among,
and for the benefit of, many of
their prosecutors. They make a
princely return for the plague Of
carpet -baggery. 9gsCs
Year: 1869

is strange that it has never
occurred to the public spirited
men OF Shreveport the value of
a plank road through Red Riv-
er Swamp from Red Chute. 1t
must be conceded that they
have no idea of the immense
commission and forwarding
business done for this country
by the merchants at Coushatta.
1t is 90 miles to Coushatta and
% to Shreveport, making a
distance of % miles in favor of
the latter. Agood road through
the swamp. above high water,
wonld not only divert this en-
tire business to Shreveport but
a very large proportion of the
orders sent to New Orleans
during the low water season
would be filed by the mer-
chants of Shreveport. Itshould
be remembered that at least six
months in the year we have
no navigation and that a large
portion of our cotton crop is
sent to Trenton or Coushatta.
1t may be argued that much of
this trade is carried on when
the road through the swamp is
good but it must be recollected
that during the short season
that the swamp is dry it soon
becomes impossible by travel
for loaded wagons Minden
Democrat.
Year: 1869

cause any person, and shall


further subject them to a fine


of not less than 500, nor more


than $1,000, for the benefit OF


the public school fund, to be


received by the district attor-


ney or district attorney pro
tem., before any court of COM
petent jurisdiction; such alb
stracts, when recorded in any
parish in which the tutor owns


mortgageable property, shall


constitute a mortgage on the


said tutors property until the


final settlement and discharge


of the tutor, the fees for max


ing out and recording such ab-


stracts shall be the same as the


fees prescribed for the clerks


and recorders for other similar


services, and shall be paid on


demand by the tutor, or if the


minors have arrived at the age
OF majority, by them; and if no
responsible person can be found
then any property owned by
the minors for whose benefit
such services were performed
shall be sold to pay the same;
and If no person or property
be found to pay the same, then
the parish shall pay the same,
and have recourse against the


person or proper rty of any per-
son for whose benefit the SER
vices Were performed.
Year: 1869

Not laugh was heard or Joyous note,


As our friend to the bridal hurried
Not wit discharged his farewell shot,


As the bachelor went to be married.
We married him quickly to save his fright,


Our heads from the sad sight turning;
And we sighed stood by the lamps dim light,
To think him not more discerning.
To think that a bachelor free and bright,


And shy of the 8 Is found him,
Should there at the altar at dead of night,


Be caught in the snare that bound him.
Few and short were the words said,


Though of wine and cake partaking;
We escorted him home from the scene of dread,
While his knees awfuy shaking.
Slowly and sadly marched adown


From the first to the iOwermost story,
And never have heard from seen the poor man
Whom we left alone in his glory.
Year: 1869

"FoUL " Play.-In one of the Nevada towns,
a negro was the wealthy owner of game-cock,
which was remarkable for its ability to Jump
high and fight wicked. At last the barber got a
match for his warlike foul, and in the contest it
appeared, to his great astonishment, that the
rooster didn't jump at all, but tucked his head
and suffered himself to be killed by his adversary
post mortem examination discovered two
pounds of bullets in his crop The chicken
had been drugged.
Year: 1869

SEEING IS DEcEIvING.-Here is a row of ordi-
nary capital letters and figures


SIS xxx ZZZZ33 333 $3.50
They are such as are made up of two parts of
equal shapes Look carefully at these and you
will perceive that the upper halves of the char
acters are gerry little smaller than the lower
halves-so little that ordinary eye will de-
clare them to be of equal size. Now turn the
page up side down, and, without very careful
looking, you will see that this difference in size
is very much exaggerated-that the real top half
OF the letter is very much smaller than the bot
tom half. 1t will be seen from this that there is
tendency il the eye to enlarge the upper part of
any object on which it looks. We might draw
two circles of unequal size, and so place them
that they would appear equal.-Once Week.
Year: 1869

"I can scarcely hear, she murmured,
"For my heart beats loud and fast
But surely, In the far, far distance,
can hear q sound at last"


at Ia only reapers singing,


As they carry home their sheaves;
And the evening breeze has risen


IL is rustling in the leaves"
Listen there are voices talking"
Calmly still she stroye to speak,
Yet her voice grew faint and trembling.
And the red flushed in her cheek.


at Is only the children playing


Below, new their work is dene,


And they laugh that theireyes are dazzled


By the rays of the setting sum-
Fainter grew her voice, and weaker,
AS with anxious voice she cried,
" Down the avenue of chestnuts
can hear q horseman ride"


ut is only the deer that were feeding


In the herd on the clover grass,


They were startled and fed 10 the thicket


AS they saw the reapers pass"
Now the night arose in silence,
Birds lay in their leafy nest,
And the deer crouched in the forest
And the children were at rest


There was only sound of weeping


From watchers around bed,


But rest TO the weary spirit,


Peace to the quiet dead
Year: 1869

WEAK AND DELICATE CHILDREN


Are made strong by the use of either of these
remedies. They will cure every case of MA.
RASMUS without fail.


Thousands Of certificates have accumulated
in the hands of the proprietor, but space will
allow Of the publication Of but n few. Those
II will De observed, are men of note and Of such
standing that thaY must be believ ved
Year: 1869

JOHN BRoUGHAM has got OFF many
good things in his day, but none more
snappy than the following, which we
find in the New York Tribune: III the
party who took fancy to my oVercoat
was influenced by the inclemency oil the
weather, all right; but if by conmercial
considerations, | am ready to negotiate
for it's return"
Year: 1869

1t is 4 well established fact that fully one.
half Of the female portion Of our population are
seldom in the enjoyment If good health, or, to


use their own expression, never feel well.
They are languid, devoid Of all energy, extreme
ly nervous, and have no appetite


To this class of persons the BITTERS, or the
| TONIC, Is especially recommended.
Year: 1869

The object OF this Association is to secure a
cash payment within forty days after the death
OF a member of as many dollars as there are
members in the class to which he or she belongs
Tn his or her heirs
Year: 1869

Editors Journals


An important bill has been intro
dueed into the House, which will
probabably pass both branches of the
Legislature in a few days, affecting
the matter Of interest. The law at
present provides that in case of the
agreement of the debtor to pay ten per
cent. interest on a note, that rate of
interest may be collected by law; but,
when a Judgment has been rendered,
and afer its rendition. but SIX per
cent. interest can be recovered, or in
other words but six per cent.
interest can be collected on
Judgment. This has been the under
standing of the law, and the courts in
the south part of the State have been
so railing. The bill referred to provides
that when the agreement has been
made for a higher rate of interest
than six per cent, that rate of interest
may be recovered on a judgment. 1t
is claimed that as the law now stands,
it operates unjustly on the creditor.
For instance, a man may borrow ten
thousand dollars for five days, agree
ing to pay ten per cent. interest, aud
at the expiration of the time for
which the money was borrowed, he
goes into court and confesses judg-
ment, takes the benefit of the stay
law. and has the use of the money for
six months, for which be agreed to
pay ten per cent, at six per cent. This
bill is intended to cover such cases
as the one above supposed. 1t will
probably become the law.
Another important movement In
legislation is talked of, and will
probably be made, and that is
the passage Of a law authoriz-
ing the summoning of jurors nom
one county to attend court Ia
any other county. This is done to
avoid n change of venue, when there
are a great many witnesses in a case,
and was suggested by the celebrated
Glenn case, in which there are about
one hundred witnesses IN all. The
cost Of Transporting those witnesses
to another county would be very great,
and of course would be avoided b.
the passage of an act authorizing the
summoning of jurors from other coun-
tiest0 try the case. '.'a


Quite number of special commit
tees have been raised in both Houses
to investigate the matter OF State
printing and other matters, for all OF
which the law authorizes, and for
which regular standing committees
have been appointed. The resolu-
tions raising these committees have
in every instance, perhaps. set forth
that statements made in a news.
paper " in the city suggested the idea
of a committee. or committees, Il
make such investigations.


The Senatorial war continues with
naabated fury. The anti Cumbacl
Republicans, who hage been leadins
in the movement, profess to have &C
complished their design, and claim
that they will be able to defeat him
The latest phase this question hal
assumed is TO take up Colonel r. w
Thompson, and upon him they hon,
concentrate all the Republican anti


Cumback men, and the full strength


Of the Democratic members. Thia i


the rumor this morning, but it is th
Year: 1869

man Is consumer III sal, and ha should
remember that mn1e than:hali the cost Of
the salt he uses Is tar isvied By the gov
ernment for the exclusive benefit Of close
corporation in the State Of New York.
Year: 1869

THE commissioners to locate the Northern
Insane asylum have been on tour Of OBJ
eervation at Elgir, on an invitation of its
citizens, with reference to the location Of
the institution at that place. Is there no
disposition on the part Of the people Of Rock
Island to secure the location Of this institu
ton at this place? Or have we among us
as many insane people as our population
will afford?
Year: 1869

The prosecution against Kate Fisher for
stealing Mrs. Beyins' watch, was dismissed
on the novel ground that Mrs B refused to
state whether or not she was married to the
man whose name she bears. The action,
however, was a civil one for the value of the
watch,
Year: 1869

The Chicago Journal considers the Post
of that city the"evening slop bucket of the
Tribune If this be so the Tribune certain.
ly throws away the most valuable part Of its
matter, for the Post is decidedly the most
valuable and respectable Republican paper
in Chicago, if not in the Union.
Year: 1869

Young men troubled with emissions In sIsep,-a
complaint generally the result of a bad habit in
youth, scientifically and perfect war
ranted or no charge made.


Hardly day passes but we are consulted by one or
more young men with the above disease, s0Ele OF
whom are as weak and emaciated az though they had
the consumption and by their friends are supposed to
have 1t. An such cases yield to the proper and only
correct course Of treatment, and in short ime are
made to rejoice In perfect health.
Year: 1869

Al who have committed an excess OF any kind
whether 1t be the solitary vice Of youth, the sting
ing rebuke Of misplaced confidence In maturer years


SEEK FOR AN ANTIDoTE IN SEASON.
Tho Pains and Aches, and Lassitude and Nervous
Prostration that may follow Impure Cotton,


are the Barometer to the whole system.
DO not wait for the consummaton that is to fol-
low; do not wait for Unslghty Ulcers, for


Disabled Limbs, for Loss Of Beauty
and COmplexi0n.