Year: 1869

A gentleman writing from Fer.


nandina, Florida, to the Buffalo


Commercial Ad0ertiser, gives the


following amusing account of his


adventures with a gentle mule


He says:


The boys insisted that I needed


relaxation. My health required


it. l had a pretty fair article of


health, | thought; enough to last


me as long as l lived. But /


must accumulate a stock for future


use. The South was the place to


get it. And riding was healthy.


The sand is too deep to ride, except


on horseback, so I thought I would


take a ride. / applied to the liv.
Iery man for horse. He had one,


He looked sorrowful at me as


though he pitied me. Did [ ever


ride mule ? / never had. He


had as good riding horses as ever


was saddled, but if l wanted a


Crock Me to Sleep Mother" style


of ride, / would take mule. I


l don't consider myself first class
| judge of mules. | had had some


vague notions in regard to them ;


supposed they would do large a.


mount of work with very little


feed, and were immortal. l had
read of one being driven over the
same route By the same boy for 81
years, and he was a young mule
yet.


Bring forth the mule. The
mule was brought. He was
meek looking cuss-a perfect ''U-
riah Heep" of a mule, SO far as
"Umbleness" was concerned. At
least that was the view 1 took of
him. He was saddled, and I
mounted. For mile or two he
paced beautifully. Thought those
old monks l had read about knew
what they were doing when they |
travelled on mules. | had high
respect for their judgment. Just |
then my mule began to show
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES of what | |
did not know. I found out
Dropping his head between his
legs, his heels described a para
bolic curve, or a diabolic curve,
or some other internal curve, in
the air, and l got off and sat on
the ground. I got off over his
head, and I did it quick. I'm
not so old but [ can get off an
animal of that kind as quick as
boy. Then ] looked at the mule
to see if he was hurt. He didn't
appear to be. Then inquired a.
round to see how | was. report
ed an abrasion on the left hip, and
confusion on the lower end of
my back. Then I thought I
would pronounce a eft-handed
blessing on that mule, and on his
forefathers and foremothers before
him, and on his children after
him. But Ididn't. I wondered |
if he would stand fire. III had
had pistol, | would have put the
muzzle to his ear, and tried him.
Not that / was hostile towards
him, but I was afraid somebody
might take a ride on him some day
and get hurt. But had no pistol, i
SO that benevolent and sanguinary
idea was frustrated. Then I got
up and shook the dust off my feet, /
and brushed the sand off my trow-
Sers, as testimony against the
place. Then / led the mule care
fully home, and stated my case to
the livery man. But when / look
ed that he should offer to send for
q doctor, or a Samaritan, to do me
up in rag, and pour olive oil and
champagne on my bruise, he only
And his man that he
had to help him laid down on a
bench and laughed-then he rolled
off the bench and laughed-and l
stood holding the mule-then /
laughed. Itwas ridiculous. But
I've learned a little wisdom. Next
Time ride on horseback it will be
L different kind of beast from a bo-
gus jackass. :


"Why, you'd better knock the
1oor down. What do you want?"
n L - /