Year: 1868

| mis-. SpstHSAc.


"Patsy Spangle" contributes the fol.
; lowing capital burlesque to the Louis


vile Courier, which we copy for our


married readers to laugh over:


. first met Spsngle at country fair.


We were introduced to each other


about 10 o'clock in the morning, and


if you will believe me, l did not get a


chance to speak to another gentleman


that day. l never saw fellow so


struck at first sight. l don't believe


that he saw horse, or in fact anything


that was on exhibition that day but
me, although there were present many


of the most beautiful and accomplished


young ladies of that section of the


country.


As he was very fine looking, of good


family, and of unexceptionable habits


and character, i, of course, felt fiatter-


ed by his marked preference. l had


to take him to dinner, and introduce


him to pa and ma and the whole fami-
| ly. He made very good impression.


In fact, Spangle can shine when he


tries. / remember the fact with pride.


Well, it is the old story. He became
infatuated, and obtained my permis


sion to visit me at my home and spend
a day there in Just two weeks from the
day we met. During these two weeks
l received daily long letters from
Simon, closely written and cross writ
ten. l wish l had kept them.) At
length the day of his visit arrived, and
10 and behold the servant girl awoke
me in the morning with the pleasant
information that Spangle was waiting
for me in the parlor. Here was lover
for youl


Well, well as l said before, it was
the old story ever recurring, ever
sweetly told, and eyer listened to by
willing ears. Suffice it to say, that
from that day 1 saw no peace until
became Mrs. Spangle. Our honeymoon
was, l suppose, like all honeymoons,
short and delicious.


And then came the realities of life.
1t is my belief that this is the most
trying period of woman's life. How
ever kind and attentive her husband
may be. young wife, when she enters
upon the sctuaIities of life, has dis
closed to her a state facts Of which she
has little or no conception before mar
riage. When she leaves an atmosphere
of romance and adulation and enters
upon the realities of life, it is like
stepping out of a garden of summer
flowers into the regions of perpetual
winter, and unless she brings all her
good sense and philosophy to her aid,
her affections will become chilled, and
she regard herself a disappointed, if
not deceived woman for the balance
Of her life. 1t is the hope that our ex-
perience may be of benefit to young
wives, that induces me TO reveal some
of the domestic incidents and infelici-
ties of twelve years of married life.


After our holiday, Spangle-to use
his own expression-took tilt at the
world, determined to wrest from it not
only q competence but a fortune, that
would place him in the most beatific
attitude to be obtained by the opulence.


The dear fellow did work hard, and
if he met with obstacles, and difficult |
ties, and trials, the world never knew
it. He reserved them for his freside, |
and, although he did not accuse me as
the cause, yet he recounted them in a |
tone and manner so different from the |
joyous and buoyant language Of court |
ship, that felt he had considered me
in some way or other accountable for
his troubles. Although l never serious
ly doubted his love for me, yet he GER
tainly permitted many excellent oppor-
tunities for manifesting it to pass un-
improved. Before we we're married he
seemed to have a perfect mania for
holding my hand, and l used to wonder
if he would ever give me an opportuni-
ty to do any needle-work after mar
riage. But, bless your SOUL after
marriage, when opportunities for in
dulging IN that pastime were abund-
ant, it seemed to have lost its charm.
Poor, foolish mel was often sggrieY-
ed at his apparent GOODNESS, ard would
ask him twenty times a day if he did
not love me. "Why, certainly ] do,
my dear little pdss; l thought you
knew it." Yes, he thought knew it!
Perhaps | did. | also knew that we
had plenty of -four and bacon in the
pantry, but that did not satisfy my
hunger.


1t is true his affection manifested it
felf sporadically with all the warmth
and ardor of the old days: But these
ebullitions were the exceptions. The
rule was, 81 thought you knew it,
Yes, girls, when you get husbands they
will expect you to know it, and my ad-
vice to you is, that you get all the
courting you want before you are mar
ried, for after that event what little
eourting is done in the family will
have to be done by the wife.


We have six children, all beautiful
and good. Spangle takes great pride
in them, loves them, and erowls at
them like dear old bear. You must
not think that Spangle regards the
"neW comers" as burdens. Quite the
reverse. He goes into ecstacies over
each one; dilates upon its beauties and
perfections for FIVE minutes, and then
seems to think it ought to be laid away
to grow up, and be no farther trouble
to him until they want to marry. II
one of them has the stomach ache and
cries at night, Spangle thinks that the
pain is a special hardship to him, be-
cause it keeps him awake a few
minutes. The fact is undeniable, that
the best men are brutes, so far as babies
are concerned. q


1 will say though, that of all the
children I have, Spsngle is the biggest
baby. IT'S true he was through the
mos of the ailments l have enumera- {
ted before 1 knew him, but in thous- I
and other respects he is still, and i
always will remain in that chronic
state of babyhood, which ever attends i
over-indulged and spoiled husbands.- f
When we first met, my old baby would q
almost break his back to pick up my
fan, and he would kill a fly IN a
minute if the fly manifested dispose s
tion to alight on my nose. e


Now I have to almost literally dress Fl
aim in the morning. have to get his 1
boots together, one of which he gen. 81
srally kicks under the bed. ALWAYS '