Year: 1863

EI Artlmus Ward is still speaking
his speech, entitled "Sixty minutes in
Africa" We notice by the Philadelphia
Inquirer that he spoke in the city of Broth
erly Love and fat contracts few even
ings since, to crowded house.


The following extracts will serve to il
lustrate the character of this queer and
humorous effusion.


After stating why he did not lecture on
this or that subject, ennumerating great
number he said:


thought, also, of delivering lecture
on astronomy, but could not exactly hitch
my wagon to that subject Now / pre-
fere to hitch my wagon to post, though
after all there is no necessity for hitch
ing your wagon to anything, as wagon
very seldom runs off unless horse is
attached to it, and if horse is sincerely
attached to wagon, he won't run away
with it, Under any circumstances. In
relation to astronomy | could speak of
very many considerable consultations.
The most interesting ofthese, just now is
the Southern Cross, which is supposed
to be Nulatto.


You have all heard of DR.. Windship, a
muscular gentleman, who goes around
delivering lectures on physical culture,
and who at the close of his lectures, per-
forms such marvellous feats of strength.
He used to advertise that that he would
lift twelve able-bodied men at one time.
Just think of it; oblige me by thinking of
it. felt that | could not do full Justice
to the subject of physical culture, but still
at one OF my lectures l offered to lift
twelve young ladies, one after another, if
they would step on the platform, but,
strange to say, none come up.


l thought of lecturing on John B.
Floyd, who, when mere lad, stole his
grandmother's knitting-needles and sold
them for old steel; who, when in Wash
ington, stole everything that he could
lay his hands on, and would have stolen
Dir. Buchanau's character, if that vener-
able statesman had any such thing about
him at the time Mr.. Floyd was there.
But on reflection, it occurred to me that
We had just as vile thieves here at the
North, who claim to be intensely inter-
ested in the success of the Star Spangled
Banner; and yet unless they are closely
watched, they will steal every rag of
clothing the Goddess of Liberty has in the
world, and charge the American eagle
fifty cents for resting place. Procras-
tination is the thief of time, but give
these army swindlers a chance and they
would steal proerastination. l thought
of lecturing on Brigham Young; l will
mention, however, that he resides in
Utah and is someachat married


The Army and Navy forever is a good
subject The Army and Navy. So far
as the Navy is concerned we know it is
composed of good men and true, who
have achieved victories in this sad war
which will forever endear them to their
countrymen. We do sometimes wish.
however, that the sea of ofSecretary Welles
was little more clearly established.


What of the Army? Why it is a mag
niheent Army, composed of men of as
true courage as ever walked up to the
roaring thrOats of deepranged artillery
and planted amidst fire and smoke, upon
the enemys WALL the standard of their
country. But the army was too large a
subject for me to handle I should like
to see the man that can handle it, There
is great General among our officers
"Stonewall" Jackson-but the trouble
is ne is among them too often We want
but let me put it in the form of an ad-
vertisement:-


WANTED, at Washington, Napoleon
to those coming well recommended a
steady situation and good wages will be
given. Apply Immediately, to Uncle
Sum-


l know gentleman who has watched
the progress of this war very closely, and
who is certainly able to give an opinion
on most matters, and asked him what he
thought of the war He said that after
watching the movements of the armies
carefully, and reading the newspapers;
making inquiries of army correspon-
dents, and getting possessed of all the
knowledge of the heads of departments,
and from the reliable telegraphic corps at
Washington, he be i he kne,c ichat
he did think. We have, l believe. near
ly a million of men in the field l don't
know how many officers We have in the
field; we have good many who are not
in the field. But then our hotels al
restaurants must be protected, so don't
complain. If We had half as many Off
GERS in the field as there are out of il
we would have sufficient. l say we have
nearly a million of men in the field. but
believe that the Goddess of Liberty is
no unprotected female She is about as
well "set-up" with at home as any Young
lady know of


have thought of delivering lecture
on Slavery. / have often wondered that
our lecturers and newspapers did not
make an occasional allusion to it. and
have also thought our Congressman
might make an occasional hit by rising
IN their places and making speeches on
slavery. l then concluded to make Afri-
ca the subject of my lecture. l know
very little about Afrlca, and for this rea-
son, according to modern usage, have
clear right to lecture on that subject.


Africa is on the map, although most of
you "dOn't see it" She people are gem
orally dark complexioned; for coin thew
use shells, and from this is derived the
term "shell out" They have no Con.
qress an A.frica, and the other habits o,
the peCple are goOc. The only fiagrai {
flower tbat Africa produces is the rose
l mean negroes. / have the information
from an intelligent contraband. The
lecturer then proceeds to touch on many
TOPICS one of which was absurdities no