Year: 1861

| ed eyes looked out OF mine now ana then.
| For five weeks we were travelling together
and this our honeymoon was happy one


For the most part, my jealousy slumbered,
for there was nothing to arouse it. Some
times | tormented myself with the fear that
there might have been some charm in the
earlier days of my husbands first marriage
which was wanting now. But his Joy was so
evident, his tenderness so constant, that
had little opportunity for such gloomy
thoughts.


After our bridal night until the day before
we were to go home for the first time, had
not alluded again to his first wife or his child
1t was while was packing my trunk prepa-
ratory TO an early start the next morning, and
he was talking to me o: my new home, thus
| looked up and asked


Where is little Laura ?' How has she
passed the time while we were getting acquant-
| ed, ana those weeks since our marriage ?'


suppose he interpreted the question as
sign of an awakened interest in his child, for
| he bent over me and kissed me before he an
swered


Thank you, Agatha. | glad you think
of Laura sometimes She has been spending
the summer so far. at my sisters, but she will
be there to welcome US to morrow. | have
taken care that she should be taught to love
her new mamma.


1t was a beautiful home on the east bank
of the Hudson, to which we went the next
day A handsome carriage met US at the
boat landing, and the drive wound from the
river along the ascent of wooded hill, ev-
cry moment revealing new glimpSes Of beau
ty A short turn brought US in sight of
stately stone mansion,


. With the battlements high in the rush of the air
And the turrets thereon"


had not been prepared for so splended
sight. 1t was perfect architectural inSpi-
ration The emincnce on which it stood
commanded fine view of the river, flashing
in the sunlight. The rocks, lett as Nature
had hewn them ont, were gay with climbing
vines, and the air was full of odOrous breath
of sweet scented flowers.


never saw anything half so beautiful"
| whispered ecstatlcally to Hiram, who sat
euoying my surprise. As the carriage stop
ped little girl ran out upon the piazza |
think should have known her anywhere,
from her likeness to her mothers picture
She mad the same innocent, appealing blue
ewes, the same transparent skin, the same
features, only the gold of the hair was light.
er aud SUMNER than the picture. 1t lay
about the child's head in light rings, such as
you have seen in paintings of churubs. My
/ husband stepped from the carriage and only
paused to hand me out before the little crea-
lure was clasped in his arms.
And is that new mamma | heard her
ask as he put her down.


He nodded.


May kiss her ~


Surely"


She came up to me little timidly. | bert
over her aud received her caress passively,
but the kiss | gave her was very cold one.
Selfish heart that | was, could hot love
her, for she was her mothers child-a daily
reminder, so | felt, to her father, of my dead
rival


| should blush to describe all the incidents
of the year which followed. How patiently
the poor little motheress girl-motherleSS
still, though | had taken her mothers name
and place-Strove to prOpitiate and please
me- How cold was to her. | neglected
none of her bodily needs, but to the little
heart which asked me for bread / gave only
d stone Not ouce, in all those twelve months,
did | geather her into my arms and kiss her
not once did | beStow on her any voluntary
caress. | wonder, | did not soften to her,
Il
to a little child, who might be left mother
| less as she had been Perhaps this only hard
ened me the more If my child were so left,
questioned, would its father love it half as
we'll as he loved Laura She is his idol, |
said bitterly, to myself, his idol, as her mother
was before her and j, who give him in spite
of myself such absorbing love, hold only
second place in his heart. Looking back to
those days | really wonder that he loved me
at all. had disappointed him so thoroughly.
He had believed me noble aud generous He
found me selfish and eXacting. Yet L do not
believe his great, noble heart ever, for mo-
ment, failed towards me in tenderness and
patience He bore with my waywardness as
one bears with the faults of an irresponsible
child Perhaps he never lost his faith in my
regeneration.


| think Laura suffered beyond what / had
supposed child's capacity for purely meu-
tai suffering. The disappointment to her was
most cruel She had longed all her little
life for mother to love her as she had seen
other children loved. For many weeks before
| came she had been told that she was to
have what she most craved-a new mamma, all
to herself. She had found in me less affection
than she would have received from a govern
ess or a housekeeper. ! knew all this. | had
never been deliberately cruel before, but was
now. All Lauras gay vivacity was gone
She seemed all the time fearful of dIspeaslng
me. She moved and spoke in slow, quiet
way, that | could see it was exqusitely pain
fuI to her father to behold. | do not know
how it was that his love for me was not ut
tery quenched, his patience all worn out
Perhaps he throught that was not we'll and
that the sweet new conner, for whome we hoped,
wo'd heal my nature of its pride, and pain,
and nassiOn