Year: 1867

- Of Printers Ink.


There was once upon time man who
kept . store and sold goods Wholesale
and retail.


And become melancholy. because Gus
toners were shy and times hard.
And he said: Lo.I am ruined, and
the sensation is disagreeable.


And my ruin is more painful to bear
because it is slow in progress, even as
water doth gradually become hotter in
the pot wherein the lobster boileth, until
the crustaceons creature shrieketh ont
his soul in anguish.
Lo! it is better to be ruined quickly
than to endure this slow torture.
will give my money away to the poor
man-even the poorest which 10 he who
printeth newspapers; and will shut up
my shop and wrap myself in sack. cloth
of desolation, and pass my days in tho
perilous or broken banks. cursing the
hardness Of the times and ren.ling my
garments
And the bowling of Rome shall be ~
dulect sounds of dulcimers. and they
who blow the flutes and instruments Of
music, compared to tho din will make
the ears of the wicked. even in the ears
of the bank directors.
And even as he said so he did for he
was not like other mems sons who are
foolish and know it not, and they will do
so and SO, performing that which is con-
trary.


For the sons Of men are tickle. and he
that is born of q women doth spite his
by diminishing the length Of the nose
thereof


And, 10 the printer-even he who
publisheth newspapers--was made glad
by the bounty of him who sold Wholesale
and retail; and he did sound his praises
and print them moreover; and did blow
his trumpet of fame respecting his deal
ings from the rising Of the sun even to
the going down of the same.


And he-even the printer Of papers
did magnify and enlarge upon the stock
of goods which the trader had in his
store, and did publish the variety, and
the excellence, and the newness, and the
beauty, and the cheapncss thereof, till
the people--yes! all of them. Far and
near, were amazed. q


Aud they said, 10! this man hath gath
cred from the east and west costly mer-
chandise and wares Of wondrous value
even the workmanship of cunning art
ificers--and we knew it not.


Go to. then. We will lay out our sill
yer and gold in those things which the
printer printed of, and that which he doth
publish shall be ours. For this mans
merchandise is better than the bank
notes Of those who promise to pay, and
therein lie, even banks OF deposit which
beguile US of our money and swindle us
like sin.


But the trader was still sad, and he
said the money that these people bring
me for the goods in my store will give
to the printer, and thus I will ruin my
SELF will do that which no man hath
yet done in my time, or before. will
make the printer man, whom all men
scorn for his poverty, rich, and he shall
be clad in fine linen and rejoice.


And the sons of men shall meet him
in the market place, and the sheriff shall
shun him, and the scofers shall be re-
buked and shall take Oh their hats to him
that was poor.


And he shall fash the dollars in the
ewes of the foolish, and shall eat bank
notes and sand wiches.


Yea, even shall he light his pipe with
cotton money and cast his spittle ON the
boards Of other men.


For l shall ruin myself, and he who
advertises me shall enjoy my substance.


But, 10 the trading man-even he who
sold merchandise, became rich, and even
as the unclean beast lieth in the mire, so
stirred he not by reason Of much green
backs.


Aud the people focked to his store
from the North, and from the South, and
and from the East, and from the est.


And the printer rejoiced, and his srhat'
did abound.


But the trader could not become poor
and his melancholy ceased, and the
smiles Of happiness were upon his face.


And his children did become mighty
in the land by reason Of the dollars which
many Of the people who read his adver-
tisements had poured into the traders
money bags.