Year: 1868

years OH uOn KNOW Wnctner Ill
good little boy, but Pm afraid not;
for | sometimes do wicked things, and
once | cut my sisters Kittens tail off
with the chopping knife, and told her
big dog CAME along and bit IT oH
and swallowed it down before kitty
could say Jack Robinson, ana sister
said she was sorry, and it must have
been very naughty dog, but mother
did not believe me, and said she ,was
afraid had told lie, and Pm afraid


| had. Then mother said there was
dreadful stage OF sin, and then Bob
hcllered and said that he "guessed l
was on it," and then she whipped us
and sent us to bed without any sup
per, but didn't care for any supper,
for they hadn't nothing but bread and
butter and tea, and Bob and got up,
and he lifted mc in at the pantry win
dow, and we got mince pie and
whole hat full of doughnuts, and they
thought it was the cook that stole 'em;
and sent her away the next day, and


Bob said he was glad of it, for she
didn't make good pies, and the dough-
nuts wasn't fried enough, and some
times I do swear, for l said by golly
the other day, and sister heard me and
she told mother; and mother said l
was bad boy, and would brihg her
gray hairs to the grave, and she whip
ped me but | don't think it did her
gray hairs any good, and it hurt me,
and when got mp stairs | said gosh
darn it, but said it so she didn't
hear me, and when she asked me if
did pot think | was wicked, said


was afraid | was, and was sorry for it,
and wouldn't do so any more, and
then she said was a good boy, and
then told me about George Washing
ton, who cut dowN the apple tree, and
was caught at it, and said he did it


with his little hatchet, just as though
hadn't heard all about it before, and
didn't always think him big stupid
for cutting wood when they had hir-
ed man about the house, and dullin'


his little hatchet, and besides, it would


have been a great deal joller I'd let


the apple trees be, so as he could have
stole the apples off in the fall. don't


care if he was the father Of his coun-


try, he wasn't smart, and | bet you


the boys in our school would cheat


him out Of his eye-teeth swapping
jack-knives, and | could lick him and


hardly try, and | don't think he was


very healthy either, for | never see
good boy that wasn't always sick and


had the mdmps and measles, and the
scarlet fever, and wasn't coughing all
the while, and hadn't to take castor
oil and could not eat cherries, and
didn't have his head patted till his
hair was rubbed off by everybody that
came to his mothers, and be asked
how old he was, and who died to sdve
sinners, and what he'd been studying
at school, and how far he'd got, and
lots of conundrums, and have to say
his catechisni no, shouldn't like I'd
be good little boy, 1 just as lief be
an angel and be done with it don't
think | ever shall be good little boy,
and other people don't think so too,
for | wasn't never called good little
boy, but once, and that was when my
Uncle John asked me where I stood
in my class, and I told him it was
next to the head, and he said that was
right AMI he gave me Quarter, and
when he as skel me how many boys
were in the class, and | said there
were only two, myself and little girl,
and then he wanted me to give him
back his quarter, and wouldn't and
he ran after me and stumbled over
chair, and he broke his cane, and hurt
himself, and he's been lame ever since,
and Pm glad of it, for he isn't my
father, and hasn't any right to lick
me, for | get enough of that at home,
and. the quarter wasn't a good one
either. | don't like Uncle John, and
/ guess he knows it, for he says I'm
not like any of the family, and he
says he expects I'll go to sea and be a
pirate instead of a respectable member
Of society, and / should not wonder,
for I'd rather be pirate thdn soap
boiler like him. / don't care if he is
rich it's a nasty business; and l shan't
have to be pirate either, for one can
make lots of money without that; and
they are always talking to me about
being rich and respectable, and going
to Congress and being President, and
all that sort of thing; but don't want
to be President; there is Lincoln, he
wa, President, and I guess he's sorry
for it now; and there is Andy john
son, guess he don't like it much
either and fellow doesn't have to be
respectable to be Congressman for
there's John Morrissy, and he has got
nice curly hair and nice clothes, and
he don't do any work ether; oh, I
know how things are done; but there's
Bob calm me, and we're goin' birds
nestin', for l know where there's
yaller birds nest chuck full of eggs;
mother says it is cruel, and the birds
don't like it; that | wouldn't like to
have my eggs stole if l was 4 bird,
and I don't think | should; but T amt
a bird, you know, and that makesa
difference, and if you want to print
this you can, for next to being stage
driver and pirate, I'd like to be an
editor, for you fellows don't have to
tell the truth, and you can GO to the
circuses without payin'. 'h lil sdf