smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1862

A CAPITAL SToRY.-The following
story Of an occurrence which took place
once upon time in Tennessee, is too
good to be lost. 1t is capital bit at
the prevailing folly Of those who set
themselves up as standard of religion
and morality, whilst others are de-
nounced as vile heretics and sinners. A
Baptist minister had been preaching.
When drawing near the close Of bis ser
mon, he said:


Brethren, l am hostler, and must
curry these horses before I leave. Here
is the high-blooded Episcopalian horse
see what 8 high head he carries, and
how black his coat is. soft as silk ; bdt
he'll kick you if You touch him on his
litany of prayers. Whoa sir ! whoa
Here is an old Methodist horse ! Whoa,
old fellow Just slip away his love
feasts and class meetings, and he'll kick
away till he falls. Whoa, you old
shouter whoal Ali here is the
horse that is ready to kick at all times;
don't you go near confessional or PEN
ance. Whoa, Mr.. Pope how besuti-
full his trappings are Ibis surplice and
miter Whoa, sir, whoa p


And so he went on through the va
rious denominations.


When he was nearly through, an old
Methodist gentleman. well known in
the place, offered his services to con-
clude, which were readily accepted.
He said:


Friends, have learned this morn
ing how to dress down horses, and as
the brother has past upon several OF
them, l take it upon myself TO finish
the work. Here is an animal that Is
neither one thing nor the other. He is
treacherous and uncertain You cannot
trust him he'll kick his best friend for
the controversy Whoa, mule whoa
See, brethren, how he kicks Whoa
you old Campbellite Here, friends, is
an animal so stubborn. that he will not
let me into his stall to eat from his
trough; he is so stubborn that he will
not go where a prophet wished him
he is so hard mouthed, that Sampson
used his Jaw as a weapon Of war against
the PhiIistines. Whoa, you close COM
munion Baptist whoa J"


DO you call me an ass 2" exelaim-
ed the minister, jumping up.


"Whoa u continued his tormentor.
"See him kick whoa Hold him,
friends whoa 70


And thus the old gentleman went on,
the minister ranting meanwhile until he
got out of the church. -1s re- Ia.


The congregation unanimously agreed
that they had never seen an ass so conn-
pletelY " curried" before.
Year: 1862

TEMPERANCE IN THE ARMY.--The
National Inteligencer says: A little
incident occurred in the Senate, which
is worthy Of note. Mr.. Grimes. in re-
viewing the finding Of the court OF in
quiry in the case of Col. Miles, intima-
ted that he could put no trust in any
public man addicted 10 intemperance.
This sentiment called down such a
round Of applause from the galleries
that the Vice President had promptly
to rebuke it. There were present at
the time quite number of volunteers.
from whom this outburst Of feeling
spontaneously proceeded. We learn
that there are number Of Temperance
Societies in the various regiments,
while there are whole regiments that
refuse to touch a drop Of ardent spirits


and hence it was that the remark was
so signally responded to.
Year: 1862

in the country, are now waiting to put
a new outrage upon his memory and a
new wrong upon them. They are to
be used as instruments to rebuild this
organization. and to compsl a shame
ful and shameless truce withthe traitors.
Fortunately, the way 70 escape from
this degradation is open before them.
The loyal men Of all parties are pre-
pairing for such an organization as will
at once invigorate the Administration
in prosecuting the war. spd keep in
minority the chief authors Of all our
troubles. l am happy to be able to
say that this is the desire Of most Of
The Republican leaders here, and that
the Administration itself viii hold him
as It's best friend who can bring about
this practical fraternizatiop< Not .
moment should be lost by tl'sgood and
loyal men in effecting this most desira-
ble consummation.


- ~sr- OCCASIONAL.
Year: 1862

Social INrERcouRsE.-We should
make 1t a principle TO extend the hand
Of fellowship to every man who dis
charges faithfully his duties and main
tains good order--who manifests a
deep interest in the welfare Of general
society--whose department is upright
and whose mind is intelligent. without
stopping to ascertain whether he swings
hammer or draws a thread. There
is nothing so distant from all natural
claim, as the reluctant, the backward
sympathy the forced smile - the
checked conversation, the hesita:ing
compliance the well off are too apt to
manifest to those a little down. with
whom, in comparison Of intellect, and
principles of virtue. they frequently
sink into insignifcance.--DanieI Web
Ster,
Year: 1862

ly principles of the Bible. When the


child comes sobbing home, grieved and


indignant. because those who were bet


ter dressed have scorned him, the poor


mother, her heart filed with faith,


points out bis noble destiny. She it is


who inspires him with glowing hopes,
teaches him that merit lies not in the
paltry adornments Of the outward man;
that in the years coming those who
sneer at him now may feel honored by
his careless glance; that it lays with
himself whether he shall be a master
spirit--in his conquering all grosser in
clinations--in his aspirations after tie
exalted, the sublime things that pertain
TO the intellectual might Of man--in
his subjugation Of every visciOus in
his resolute will to be an
honor TO the country.
Year: 1862

DRILL ON Snow SHoEs.-The ice be-
ing perfectly smooth for a considerable
distance opposite the barracks, the For
ty-seventh have availed themselves OF
the opportunity Of drilling on snow
shoes. Considering the short time they
have been practicing, they have made
great progress in the art of snow-shoe-
ing, and appear to enjoy the exercise
very much, notwithstanding the num-
Der Of tosses some of them receive.


Canada paper.
Year: 1862

EE The Portsmouth Republican
has "Ihe most reliable information from
friends who reside near the borders OF
Greenup and Carter couNies. that
there is band of sworn rebels in the
above Kentucky counties, who are
acting with a unity of purpose, intend
ing to provide themselves with arms
and horses by plundering and stealing
from Union men along and near the
Ohio river. The band when fully
equipped is designed to prey upon the
persons and property Of loyal men in
Eastern Kentucky and Southern Ohio.
Less than six days ago there was a
deputation Of Kentuckisns here to get
a squad Of determined men to surprise
and capture this embryo company Of
secesh scoundrels."
Year: 1862

| THE DESTRUCTION OF THE MERRIMAC.-Ther
are rumors afoat that the Merrimac has not been
destroyed and that she has gone up james Rv-
er to blockade it against the passage of any
vessels of our fleet. This report is absurd, as
she could only proceed a few miles up James
river and had she gone there she would un-
quesrionably have been seen repeatedly before
this time. The following from Fortress Mon
roe correspondent furnishes an account of her
destruction by an eyewitness thereof


From the engineer on board one of our pick
ct boats, which are always stationed In the Roads
at night, beyond the Monitor, to keep watch
for the coming of the Merrimac, have learned
the following particulars in regard to her last
moments:


She remained all night in her old position this
side of Craney Island and in the channel, watch
ing the movements OF troops at this point. and
also an opportunity to escape either up James
river, or out to sea. AT o'clock this morning
my informant thought he saw an unusual light
in the direction of the Merrimac, aud upon close
ly inspecting it with his glass he concluded that
she was on fire. Her crew had doubtless been
apprised of the evacuation OF Norfolk and its
possession by our troops, and hnding no way of
escape they concluded to dig the last ditch for
their iavOrte The fire continued to burn slow
| ly, sometimes streaming from her port holes, at
others belching from her smoke stack. 1t soon
seemed to glare all over her as if her iron pa
ting had become entirely heated through and at
O'Clock her smOkestack fell with dul crash,
sending up volume Of smoke and fiames AnX
iously tho spectators awaited the explosion, aud
from the fact that the fire cotinued 80 long 1t
was thought that there could not be much pow
der on board. AT 10 minutes pas 8, her black
hull was lifted up AS if by some giant hand Il
huge volume of flame and fireworks, rivaling the
skill of pyrotechnist. filled the air, aud dull
report coming across the water told us that the
Merrimac, which has caused such wonder In the
Old World and anxiety in this, had ingloriously
sunk amid the scenes of her former conflict
Thus has the great question, which is the best
vessel, the Monitor or Merrmac, been left un
settled, aud the prestige which our navy might
have gained by the capture OF the rebel iron
clad been lost beyond recovery. While every
one feels relieved that the Merrimac is not com
ing, still general desire has always existed
that she shosd haye been either captured or
sunk by our fleet.
Year: 1862

PRENTICE, of the Louisville Journal, made the
following observation, which we commend 10
certain individuals in this latitude


eff you hear a fellow speak of Union men ss
Aboitionists, you may set him down as a knight
of the Golden Circle"
Year: 1862

SEVENTY YEARS OLD.-The holy vessel of the
Athenians, during o course OF seven hundred
wears, had been Nften rebuilt, that some OF
their sophists maintained that 1T was no longer
the same ship, and frequently used 1T as an illus
traton in discussing the question OF personal
identity. l myself both in body and mind, have
undergone such total replacement OF feelings
and Ideas ia my little existence Of three score
years. that was inclined to think myself dit
ferent parsonage altogether from the short-sisht-
ed youth who considered forty as grave
paternal age, and connected sixty with nothing
but ideas of decreptude and decay. remember
when thought the consciousness of getting old,
and approaching the edge of the great abyss,
must, ut the former age begin 10 dim the sun
shine of existence and at the latter be sufficient
to overcloud and darken all its enJoyments.-
These species Of fancy vanished as came near
them. AT forty set myself down us young
man and finding myself at sixty, hale, hearty
and happy, able to work in my garden, enjoy
literature and the arts, and cultivate the Muse
with a keener relish OF existence than ever, set
Ting in my own mind that this was the real merl-
dian and zenith of human life. Children, when first
they ride in q carriage, imagine that the trees
and houses are moving on, while they are sta
tionary and in like manner, | could plainly see
the ravages of time upon my contemporaries. and
observe that they were getting on, while my
self seemed to have been standing STILL and at
some loss to account tor all my old friends run
ming ahead of me. This is another illustration
of that bengnant provision OF nature, which
will not even suffer our selt.love to be wounded,
and equalizcs the happiness Of lfes various
stages, by making even the foiblcs OF age minis
ter to its enjoyments.


How often in my younger days, have repeat
ed the wel-known lines of Dryden


Strange cozenage none could live past years again


Yet all hope pleasure from what still remains,
And from the dregs of life think to receive
What the first sprightly running would not give:


Which fools us young, and beggars US when old"


have lived to disprove them. ,coula live
past years again but it should be the latter. not
former part for the currant OF life, us n APP
proaches the great ocean of eternity, runs
smoother and clearer than in its first out-gushng
Like Jobe's, my latter days have been the most
blessed. am now seventy years of age and
batting the loss of few teeth. and some other
inevitable effects of age upon my person, still
possess ga sound mind in II sound body" and
9 bate no ot of heart or hope" My journey
from sixty to seventy has been as delightful as
that from forty to sixty nor do anticipate any
future disappointment should it be extended to
eighty, for my confidence in natures substitutions
and benignaut provisions is boundless. Had she
fixed a century as the impassable boundary of
life, we might feel some annoyance and appro-
hension as we approached it; but by leaving it
undetermined, she has TO u certain extent, made
us immortal in our own belief, for hope Is illlm
table.
Year: 1862

THE AGE OF OUR EARTH.--We extract the fol
/ fowi,ig from Agassiz's article on "Methods o
Study IN Natural History" in the May number
of the atlantic Monthly;


Among the astounding discoveries of modern
science is that of the immense periods which
have passed in the gradual formation OF our
earth. So vast were the cycles OF time prece-
ding even the appearance OF man on the surface
of our globe that our own period seems as yes
terday when compared with the epochs that have
gone before it. Had we only the evidence Of
the deposits of rock heaped above each other
in regular strata by the slow accumulation Of
materials they alone would convince us OF the
long and slow maturing OF Gods work on earth,
but when we add to these the successive popua-
tions of whose life this world has been the thea
tre and whose remains are hidden III the rocks
into which the mud or sand or soil OF whatever
kind on which they lived has hardened in the
course of tme--or the enormous chains OF noun
tains whose upheaval divided these periods of
quiet accumulation by great convulslons-or the
changes of different nature in the conhguration
of our globe, as the sinking Of lands beneath
the ocean, or the gradual rise of continents
and islands above it-or the wearing of great
river beds, or the filling of extensive water ba.
sins. till marshes first aud thea dry land succeed
ed TO inland sess-or the slow growth Of coral
reefs, those wonderful sea-walls raised by the
little ocean architects whose own bodies furnish
both the building stones and the cement that
binds them together, and who have worked SO
busiy during the long centuries that there are
extensive countries mountain ranges, Islands,
and long lines of coasts consisting solely of their
remains-o or the countless forests that must have
grown up, fiourished, died aud decayed, to fill
the storehouses of coal that feed the fires Of tue
human race to day-if we consider all these rec
ords of the past, the intellect fails to grasp q
chronology for which our experience furnishes
no data, and the time that lies behind us as
much an eternity to our conception as the future
that stretches indefinitely before US,
Year: 1862

A New RoDMAN GUN-An exchange tells the
following in regard to ordnance officer Rodman's s
enterprise, viz:


"Captan Rodman, having successfully cast q
2O-inch gun, and the test showing it to be safe
and strong, as Il smaller cannon, is now at work
on pocket piece for the President the ball OF
which is to weigh 5000 pounds-to have a range
of six or seven miles, of "a feet diameter, while
the gun itself will weigh somewhere in the neigh
borhood of 200 tons. 1t is supposed that If the
Warrior or any other English ship should be
struck by one of the pills from this little joker,
it would be difficult for the future historian to
tell the precise place where the English vessel
was last seen, or at what instant she disappeared
from mortal view Capt. Rodman is now finish
ing six 15-inch playthings, besides old Abe's
pocket piece, the 80 inch joker. The story that
a guard is set over this gun every night to pre-
vent il from being picked up and carried of by
some thief, is pronounced a canard
Year: 1862

The EFFECT or THE WAR ON TRADE.-No
traveller through the North, ignorant of the
fact, would imagine the possibility Of our being
engaged in a stupendous war, and having on
foot an army Of from 100000 to 100000 men,
besides an immense naval force. Shops are
crowded with customers, money Is abundant,
poverty is discoverable nowhere, the festivities
of New Years Day, never were celebrated with
greater signs Of rejoicing and manufactures
and trade have received healthy impulse,
which will be Of lasting service to the Union
We give elsewhere the result of inquiries which
we have lately caused to be made on the sub
ject of the prosperity Of the Northern States,
and which shows that our prediction, made
when the insurrcction first broke out that trade
and labor would receive great impetus, is fully
verified. 1t appears that our capitalists have
sl6O, 100000 invested In cotton and woolen
mills; that the profit on manufactures of these
articles, during the last six months alone, has
been over s2O,O0O,0OO, and that s2,5OO,OOO
have been expended in wages for making up
army clothing alone. This does not look like
falling of in trade or show likelihood Of
any want, this winter, among our laboring
classes
Year: 1862

hundred cases of smallpox among the civilians
OF the federal capital is attributed chiefly to his
bad management. The Sanitary Commission
ought to inquire into this important matter
without delay, as well as into the practice COM
mon among contractors of sending out army
clothing to be made up in all the pestiferous
dens Of New York and elsewhere, where small
pox and other contagious diseases are very
prevalent, and by which means they are CON-
municated to our soldiers Preventionis is better
than cure, and it is positive sin to allow any
thing SO dangerous to the health of the army as
either bad hospital management or the practice
to which we have just referred.
Year: 1862

dust who attempt to exact premium upon
gold. In our restaurants and barrooms. where
specie change is a commodity, no want of it is
yet felt The only advantage of high premi-
um is that it makes an export of gold unproft-
able, even If desired.
Year: 1862

SANITARY NEGIEcr-Great complaints being
made about the neglect Of proper sanitary regu-
lations in the military hospitals at Washington,
and indeed in the Army of the Potomac general
ly. The Surgeon General in charge of the
Medical Bureau is blamed for the inefficiency
with which he performs the duties Of his de-
partuent, and The fact that there arc now four
Year: 1862

MASA GREELEY ON NATIONAL ECONOMY
The Honorable Massa Greeley is getting econo
mical. Perhaps he judges of the approaching
circumstances and probable bankruptcy a
everything in the land from Tribune standard.
1t must he SO. He sees all objects through
Tribune spectacies. 1t is very natural, then,
that everything should look gloomy and som.
bre Hardly fair, Master Greeley.


The latest trouble is, that Congress has under
consideration the grant Of paltry S35,0O0 ts
promote the interests Of our manufactures and
commerce, and keep up our credit and our re-
spectacle position as great nation at the
World Fair in London the coming season. To
save SO insignificant sum, because we are
obliged to spend thousand millions or 80 in
terrible rebellion, would be like the man who
should go without his supper or sell his last
shirt because he was about becoming bank
rupt for 100000. But there are other reasons
why the money should not be appropriated for
this exhibition.


We are not going to become an insolvent
people or nation of defaulters in consequence
of any small items of necessary expenditure;
but we are going to keep up our commercial
supremacy by grcasing the wheels Of manufac-
lures and commerce in every legitimate and
laudable manner We could show the nations ol
the world that, though we have very respec-
table war on our hands, we could still afford to
spend few thousands to keep up our prestige
as an ingenious, inventive and enterprising peo-
pie, If such o plan be necessary. Starving the
OK that ploughs the land is not the most judi.
cious way to increase the produce of the culti-
vated field but, under the circumstances, why
should we fritter our time and attention in such
matters just now. Let our great exhibition for
the world be the suppression of the rebellion
by May next, and then we can have Worlds
Fair of our own. That's the view to take Of
the matter, Massa Greel ey.
Year: 1862

SPECULATION IN SPEcrE.-Certain speculators
in gold have lately been hoist, like an unskil-
full engineer, by their own petard. Trying to
make money out Of the necessities Of the coun-
try, they ran gold up to premium Of FIVE per
cent in few days after the banks suspended
specie payment Now they have met with a
collapse, however, and gold has fallen to two
per cent premium, and will doub tlcss
fall still lower. This is as 1t should be. Gold,
like any other coin, is only worth par. There
are three hundred millions Of ii in The country,
and very little Is going out California sends
us more gold than we now sead away. In the
face Of these facts men arc blinded with gold
Year: 1862

The West PoNr MILITARY AcADEMY-WHA1
IT Has DONE FOR THE CoUNTRY-We publish
this morning the first complete, graphic and
succinct history of the Military Academy Of
West Point, and its new and curious details
will amply repay careful perusal From this
account it will be seen that the West Point
Academy is not of such recent origin as is gene
rally supposed. The idea of such an institutiou
originated with Washington, and the FIRST elar
borate plan of the Academy was drawn up BY
the lamented Hamilton. In 1902 Congress
passed an act authorizing the establishment Of
such school for military officers, and
West Point was selected, almost unani
mously, as its location. There was for.
merly some opposition to this Academy,
and efforts were made in Congress to break
II up; but the Mexican war 30 demonstrated
the efficiency Of its graduates that all opposi-
ton was thenceforward silenced, and those Of
the Southern States which had determined b
,secede founded academies Of their own--minia-
ture West Points in effect. II is noticeable that
Beauregard, the military chief of the rebeis.
was graduate of West Point, and was, for the
short space Of two days, the superintendent Of
that institution. Mcclellan, our Commander.
in-Chief, was also graduate; and Scott, though
he was never student at our military
academy is and has been one of its most earnest
advocates and supporters. We commend our
readers to this article upon the Academy fos
much valuable information, therefore. In times
of peace the usefulness of such an institution
is evident; for by it we are prepared for timea
of war. Now we have grand West Point, in
which G5O,0OO students are educated to arms
and it is singular that, in both the Union and
rebel armies, West Point graduates are at the
head OF the military forces. 1t is hardly neces
sary to add that we have naval academy al
Newport-formerly at Annapols-upon the
same plan as the Military Academy at West
Point Thus we are taught the science of both
branches Of the service; and that we under.
stand the art as well experience will show.
Year: 1862

To ARMS To Arms The citizen soldier will
find more deadly foe in the brackish, muddy
water and damp night air than In the most de-
termined enemy. Holloway's Pills so purify the
blood and strengthen the stomach and bowels
that the soldier can endure these hardshlps and
still be strong and healthy. Only 10 cents per
box. 200