Year: 1868




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Astronomy MathematicaIly and Spiritually


Consdered-Brillicu Project Of Professor


Caney. ...4


They were the oldest motliest assemblagc those
Sprituasts at Dodworth Hall yesterday morning
that ever assembled anywhere except In Bedlam,
aud he the professor was the oldest professor that
ever attempted to entertain even Tom o. Bedlam
with lecture on astronomical topics. Further
more the odd professor regaled his motley audience
with one OF the motliest dscourses ever hashed up
from quips Of philosophy and odd scraps OF halluc-
nation by veritable denizen OF Bedlam Just simply
out on ticket OF leave and bound TO report to his
keepers at the expiration Of his furl0ugh
DOdworth Hall was not crowded, though the
listeners made up in oddity for what they
lacked In numbers as the professor made up In nom
sense for what he lacked In the way OF sense. He
was starng-eyed, pae-faced looking Individuality,
who sat behind the desk, with an unutterable so
lemnty In his manner and an unutterable solemnity
in the way he brushed mis- hair, and generally unut-
terable soemnity in the way he moved himself about.
couple OF eyes. unutterably solemn also, stared
from couple OF sockets with dark gibbous moons
just beneatl-stared as II the owner were under i'm
minent strain OF sort and a. II they might with


slight increase OF strain pop out OF his head at any
et and these the professor had habit OF rolling very
carefully up into the top Of his head the devil did
sse S mar x st % Of en-
lemnity


The lecturer stated at the beginning that he pro-
relative to the constitution Of the moon, after the
manner OF the system De Lundttoo InQstrendO, OF
which Sptritualists were more or less the subjects
The moon was one OF the heavenly bodies OF which
every member OF the audience had heard and this
must be his excuse for limiting his remarks to the
the body Of this beautiful planet was composed Of
Lmburger Kaese or OF anything green had been
perfect liberty to assert without being deemed in the
lest degree dogmatc, that that luminary was
not dissimilar in constitution to the planet
OF his lunary and super-lunary travels he had
visited. 1t was early In the season Of 1857 that,
uncertain, he (the PrOessOr) conceived the brilliant
idea OF exploring the moon principally with o view
pose OF founding colony or retreat for INDECENT
Spirtualists, should circumstances prove favorable
He had also, so he stated, some remote intention,
making the trip lucrative by delivering series Of
lectures before certain scientific society, which he
had understood to be located somewhere on the
surface OF that planet, on the constitution Of
the earth, the condition and habits Of its In
habitan,s and their social organization. Ac-
cOrdingly, having written out his lectures
several large folios. and carefully ensconced the
manuscript In his carpet bag he began to look out
respect great faciliues afforded by the spirit of
Or: Franklin President Of the First Spirltualists'
Otherwise very dstingasSed IN SPIRITUAL circ1es
The ghost or the Doctor advised him to apply to the
Aeronautc Society In London, which he did, laying





features Of his project and the valuable cOntribu-
tions to science he expected to afford upon his
return. The project OF q colonization OF the
Spiritualists upon q planet so remote having
found favor with the association peculiar species
OF balloon invented by one Of the members was
visions for three days, were contributed by the or
ganzation and the Professor left London with great
in all the leading daily papers OF that city The
voyage so the Professor related, was uneventful,
though the Professors log-boOk exhibits valuable



constitution OF the difusive ether of space, which
viii probably appear iu book form In the
cOurse OF a few weeks The Professor relates
that he effected landing just on the margin
OF the Mare Tenebrarum, large inland sea quite
moon for a sort OF Gulf OF Mexico The inhabitants
were very glad to see him, and at first the learned
dissecting him for scientific purposes, a calamity
which he succeeded in avertng by exhibiting several
anatomical maps and explaining to them by signs
his organization fully TO their satisfaction The Pro-
fesSOr now addressed himself TO the task of learning
their language, which was composed OF a series OF
articuaed grunts not difficult to acquire by any
accustomed to the process OF granting. The
Professor states that In anatomical structure,
the inhabitants OF the moon are very peculiar that
they on the average about three feet high having
very large round heads with u couple or horns IN
front and something resembling human faces on the
back side OF the Uranium; that they always walk
sdewise, like large odd looking crabs, with the face
turned over the front shoulder as they walk; that
they havo very large protrudng eyes. one either
side of the nose, which is broad snoutike and turns
up at the end In these respects resembling Spiritual
lists: that they wear clothes OF an exceedingly
and peculiar grass only found at the m0on woven
together by very simple process. and that they
on the whole very Intelligent race of oddities,
greatly given to the study OF metaphysics as, In
deed, are some of our sublunary oddities. Upon
the Professor stating that he was from the earth
and pointing in the direction OF that planet, which
the Professor states looks great deal larger than
the sun to the inhabitants OF the moon, and makes
I at night nearly as light as day there, they mani
tested most extravagant symptoms OF JOY and al
once took him into their confidence. With respect
TO their diet the returned unatc states that they
subsist mostly on a species Of porridge somewhat
sweetish, though acrid taste. Some other matters
relative to the duration OF their days and nights the
geology mineralogy and zoology Of the country the
Professor explained ut length, having taken
notes and accurate drawings on the spot about
the publication OF which, however the Professor a.
yet hesitates lest his treatise might be received


Historical Society looking to the delivery OF series Of
lectures before that body and the ultimate donation
OF his notes and drawings to It's valuable museum OF
curosties One OF the first questions Investigated
by the Professor during his trip was the cost OF sub
sisence on that planet which he AYERS Is absolutely
nothng-the materials for pOrridge growing wild In
the woods and nobody possessing any particular
tenure OF landed property TO enable him TO bring
suits In case OF trespass theft. Having Incomes
the inhabitants pay no income tax having nothing to
STEAL theft Is not word found In their vocabulary;
having. like the SpritualIsts; no visible means OF
support they support themselves like the Spiritual
sts by rather Invisible means. To develop these
these ponts-wth view TO the colonization OF his
Spirtuaistic brethren, who are sorely puzzled for
means OF support here having been the purpose
OF the Professors unary journey--he returns with
full credentials for the foundation OF colony OF
Sp!rtualists on valuable tract near the Mare Tcne-
berarum, which proposition u Is sincerely hoped.
the First Spirualiss' Society, as well by the
progressive Spritualists, whose habits and modes
OF thought are peculiarly adapted to residence
on some other planet.