smithclay/nortonstories huggingface dataset:
Year: 1869

One OF the few public events which
warrants the press in congratulating
the country has just occurred in the ad
journmeut of Congress. The sum of its
doing seems to be that it has cut down
the army somewhat, for how long it is of
course impossible to predict; made sur
ly compromise on the civil tenure law;
removed disabilities of some of its own
partisans in the South, (though a second
bill for the same purpose finally failed, }
extended to the whisky men the time
for the payment of the tag on spirits in
bond, and given the Executive indie
finite power to spend some millions for
rivers and harbors, experimental Indian
policy, &c. Its brief session has not
been devoted to measures of national
concern until near the close of the ses-
sion, when, having shirked the ques-
tions connected with the reconstruction
of the still excluded States, the Presi-
dent threw upon Congress the response
bility in his message, declaring that as
an act of justice and of policy, the time
had come for putting them in the way of
resuming their former relations to the
government.
Year: 1869

IT'S noticeable fact that when Ross
told GRANT to ego to h-p the latter
declined to go. Let as hope that should
a more distinguished Radical tender the
same invitation, the declination may be
equally successful.
Year: 1869

It is we'll established fact that fully one.
half Of the female portion of our population are
seldom in the enjoyment Of good health, or, to
use their own expression, never feel we'll
They are languid, devoid of all energy, extreme.
ly nervous, and have no appetite.


10 this class Of persons the BITTERS, or the
TONIC, is especially recommended.


WEAK AND DELICATE CHILDREN


Are made strong by the use of either of these
remedies. They will cure every case of MA.
RASMUS, without fail.


Thousands of certificates have accumulated
in the hands of the proprietor, but space will
allow of the publication of but few. Those,
it will be observed, are men Of note, and of such
standing that they must be believed.
Year: 1869

Is recent sermon Mr.. Beechcr pitied
the devil after the following fashion: IL
AN Informed that, before the communication
system was abandoned by the ferry company,
men Of property and good standing in socic
~ would boldly declare that thoy had a
Communication ticket in their pocket when
they had none, for the sake Of going through b
without paying! They did this when the
frrryage was one cent! I pity the devil!
do not know what he doee with such men
like them! ! cannot understand how these
exignons. thricr-sqHeezed men can he
managed"
Year: 1869

A COMICAL SroRY.-A highly senti-
mental dry goods clerk in Chicago, late
ly married, was so filled with his own
happiness that he was impelled to i'm
part it TO surrounding objects. 1t has
been his habit t. write poetry of a love-
sick sort on scraps of paper in which
goods were enclosed. This peculiarly
has been the source of much amusement
to his fellow clerks. \ few days ago,
when the store was crowded with Gus
toners, a man came in with excitement
visible in his hands, his hair, his heaving
breast, who stepped up to the happy
poet, tlouIishing a piece of brown paper,
and pointing to some lines, asked him
if he wr)te them. The clerk was oblig-
ed to own that he did. The scene had
now attracted all the persons in the store
to the spot. The iratc visitor directed
the clerk to read the lines, which he did,
aloud, rs follows:


Come in the evening or come In the morning.


Come when you're Ooked for without warning.
Kisses and welcome shall be there before you,


And the oftner you here the I'll adore you.


There sir, how dare you give such
stuff to my wite-my wife whom l adore?
You wretch ~ 1t was some time before
the explanation, which it was easy to
make, proved satisfactory. 1t is need
less to say that scribIing poetry on wrap
ping paper is forbidden in that store, lest
some loving swain should again make
the mistake of wrapping up a dress pat
tern for an innocent lady in verses in
tended by the author for the maiden oi
bis own heart.
Year: 1869

FIVE CENTS WORTH OF ORANGE PEEL.
A man from the country invested five
cents in Hartford, Con-, in the purchase
of an orange, and preparatory to getting
himself outside of it, threw the peel on
the sidewalk. Soon after, young woman
came along, slipped upon the peel, and
fell, breaking her leg The woman was
to have been married the next day but
wasn't. The man who was to marry her
had come from St. Paul, Mimi, and was
obliged to return on account of business
to await the recovery of the girl. On


his way back he unfortunately took
train on the Erie Railroad, which ran off
the track, and his shoulder blade was
broken, forcing him to stop at Dunkirk
for repairs. On getting back to St. Paul
he found that his forced absence had up,
set business arrangement which he had
expected to complete, at a pecuniary loss
to him of $4,000. Meantime the injured
girl suffered relapse, which so enfeebled
her health that her marriage was delayed


which had bad effect upon the young
man and he finally broke the engagement
and married widow in Minnesota with
four children. This SO worked upon the
mind of the poor girl that she is now in
the insane hospital at Middletown, Con-
necticut. Her father, outraged by the
conduct of the young man, brought
suit for breach of promise, and has just
recovered ten thousand dollars. The anx-
iety and expense of the whole affair thus
far has been enormous, as anybody can


see. Similar cases are likely to occur so
long as people will persist in throwing
orange peel around loose.
Year: 1869

FUTURE HOUsEKEEPERs.-We some
times catch ourselves wondering how
many of the young ladies we meet with
are to perform the of housekeepers when
the young men who now eyethem so ad-
miringly have persuaded them to become
their wives.


We listen to those young ladies of whom
we speak, and hear them not only ac-
knowledging, but boasting of their ig-
norance of all household duties, as if
nothing would SO lower them in the es-
TEEN of their friends, as the confession of
any abilities to bake bread and pies, or to
cook a piece of meat, or a disposition to
engage in any useful employment. Speak
ing from our own youthful recollection,
and sometimes we have known the art
less innocence of practical knowledge dis
played by young Miss to appear rather
interesting than otherwise But we have
lived long enough to know that life is full
rugged experiences, and that the most
loving, romantic and delicate people
must live ON cooked or otherwise prepared
food, and in homes kept clean and tidy
by industrious hands. And for all the
practical purposes of married life, it is
generally found that for the husband to
sit and gaze at wife's taper fingers, and
lily hands, or for wife to sit and be
looked at and admired, does not make
the pot boil, or put the smallest peice of
food therein.
Year: 1869

CoURTsHIp AMONG THE PAwNEEs.-
When lover wishes to break the ice, he
comes to her fathers tent unlimited, and
sits on the corner of the mat for con


siderable time and then goes away with


out speaking. This is the preliminary
step, answering perhaps to the first gen.
tie pressure of the hand-the first blush
ing hesitation in address the first mutual
glance of understanding. After few
days the young man returns, wearing his
buffalo robe, with the hair outward and
again sits down in the corner of the tent.
This is proposals. regular "popping
the question" If the father is deter
mined to reject him nothing is placed for
him to sit on, and no meat is offered: but
if he approves Of the match, these rites
of hospitality are observed. Feasts are
then given by the respective parties, in
order to obtain the consent of the relatives.
If both feasts terminate favorably in this
respect, the young man presents himself
once more before his bride, at the door
of her tent, and then turns round and
walks slowly off towards his own she
rises and follows him-the marriage is
then complete. If she remains sitting. it
is sign her family decline the match.
All this is done without word between
the intended bride and the husband that
is to be. But the most extraordinary
part of the affair is, that having married
an elder sister he has the right to marry
all the younger ones, as they successively
attain the age of womanhood. The author
adds: I" l have seen chiefs who have in
this manner married a whole family; the
eldest being the greatest drudge, and the
youngest being generally the favorite
Sultana, and consequently doing the
least"
Year: 1869

This astute philosopher enlightens the
public with his bank experience. How
his willingness to accommodate friend
led to his faith in banks being shaken,
and his chequered career in this path is
told with charming simplicity:


Shakespeare says; "Put not your trust
in banks" Idon'tp put my trust in banks;
nor my cash either.


| always felt able to take care of all
the money got. And more too


don't see why / should trust banks
they never trusted me. never asked
them to, but to oblige creditor Of mine
who had a singular hallucination on the
subject Of my financial standing. lei
him try the value of my name on check
l owed him some money. The bill had
been standing for some time; but he
hadn't said anything to me about it, and
| hadn't said anything to him, because
could afford to let it stand as long as he
could, and if he hadn't revived the sub
ject, | shouldn't.


He did at last remind me of the fact,
in a very polite note, stating that he had
some engagements to meet That is the
way with creditors, I find. They are
always making engagements, and expect
ing their debtors to furnish the money.


But as | said before, he was very polite
about it, and merely said he would like to
have my check for the amount. As he
had accommodated me SO long. I could
hardly deny such reasonable request
sent him a polite answer, requesting
him to nominate the bank on which be
would prefer to have the check drawn.


He said he would leave it to me, what
ever bank my credit was good at. I told
him it was immaterial to me; my credit
was just as good at one bank as at
another.


finally sent him check on the WAL
labout National Bank for the amount.


Naturally, felt some interest in learn
ing how my creditor made out at the
bank. He didn't make out anything
He came to me in more excited state
than had seen him in before.


"Sir," said he, "your check is not
worth anything"


II am sorry to hear il" said I, "though
it is not entirely unexpected"


"But why did you give me your check
when you had no money in the bank p
said he.


"Because you said you would like to
have my check, and when man makes a
reasonable request like to accommodate
him. if [ can"


have no faith in banks ever since.
Year: 1869

NOVEL ExpERIMENT-One morning
the operators on the O'Reilly Western
Telegraph Line were unable to communi-
cate further west than Westfeld. Beyond
there the wires would not operate. At
length person, residing four miles west
Of Westfeld, came into the village and
informed the operator there, that he had
been disturbed of hisrest all night by the
bowling of dogs. On getting up next
morning. he ascertained the cause. He
found near his house two dogs tied to the
telegraph wires, performing sundry capers,
such as the canine race exhibited after
having taken good dose of nu1 uomica
The wires had been cut and taken out of
several posts, and dog tied to each by
the tail, the electricity, at every manipu-
lation of the operator, causing the dogs to
howl cut messages of war instead of lore
and business
Year: 1869




One who has thought deeply and we'll
upon the sources eff human happiness,
says there is no greater everyday virtue
than cheerfulness. This quality of man
among men, is like sunshine to the day,
or gentle, renewing moisture to parohed
herbs. The light ofa cheerful face difuses
itself, and communicates the happy spirit
that inspires it. The sourest temper must
sweeten in the atmosphere of continuous
good humor. AS well might fos, and
cloud, and vapor, hope to cling to the
sun-illumined landscape, as the blues and
moroseness to combat jovial speech and
exhilarating laughter. Be cheerful always.
There is no path but will be easier trav.
eled, no load but will be lighter, no
shadow on heart or brain but will lift in
presence of determined cheerfulness.
| Many child goes astray, not because
there is want of prayer or virtue at
home, but simply because home lacks sun
shine A child needs smiles as much as
flowers need sunbeams. Children look
little beyond the present moment. If ;
thing pleases they are apt to seek it; if it
olspieases they are prone to avoid 1t. 1t
home is the place where faces are sour
and words harsh, and faultfnding is ever
in the ascendant, they will spend as many
hours as possible elsewhere. Let every
father and mother, then try to be happy.
Let them look happy. Let them talk to
their children, especially the little ones,
in such way as to make them happy.


Cheerfulness is an excellent working
quality, imparting great elasticity to the
character. As bishop said, "Temper
is nine-tenths of Christianity" so are
cheerfulness and diligence nine-tenths of
practical wisdom. They life and soul of
success, as well as happiness. Perhaps
the very highest pleasure in life consists
in clear, brisk, conscious working; energy,
confidence, and every other good quality
mainly depend upon it.
Year: 1869

OgT of the fullness of its charity the
New York Tribune has these gentle
words for negro who lately committed
an indecent assault upon young white
woman in Washington:


He only caught hold of her dress,
when the girl screamed and her sisters
began to throw stones, soaring the mis-
erable creature far worse than he had
frightened the girls.


Certainly he only made the assault
for a little harmless amusement, and
the girls should be made to atone for
their rudeness in soaring his ebony in
nocencc. By all means, let them make
the proper reparation and promise never
again TO resist the "loyaP manhood
under similar circumstances.
Year: 1869

We suppose the progressive spirit of
Radicalism has accustomed many to the
mil ltary style of today. But few peo
pie of middle age will read this para
graph, from Radical paper, without q
sense of the strange incongruity of the
relation between the military and the
civil power:


The Virginia Legislature will meet
on the Fourth Tuesday after the pro-
mitigation by the Commanding General
of the ratification Of the Constitution.
Year: 1869

Without any special complaint, except a grad.
ual declination OF bodily strength aud nervous
erergy, will find in the TONIC A FOUNTAIN
OF VITALITY ANDEvIG0R AS RE
FRESHLNG AND EXI HILERATING A
A POOL IN HE DESER TO THE SAND
SCORCHED AND PAINTING TRAVELLER
Year: 1869

the expenses should not be
borne By the treasury. Bot how
to prevent it was the question.
To reject the account, if presented at
the proper department, would be, in the
last degree, offensive to those who had
accepted the invitation in the full faith
that there was nothing improper in


doing SO. Mr.. Buchanan dealt with the
subject in the only way which was
reconcilable, at once, with delicscy to
them, and justice to the public. He
directed that the bills should not be
presented to the accounting officers, but
sent to himself to be paid out of his
own private pocket. Mr.. Cobb, hear.
ing indirectly of the Presidents inten-
tions, anticipated him by getting the
bill before it reached the President, and
paying it himself. -
Year: 1869

TEE TRUNDLE BD.-The balmiest sleep we
ever experienced, was when we were nesting in
the old trundle bed with q curly headed brother,
just turned out Of the parent nest to make room
for new customer. But trundle bed dreams were
soon at an end, for when the next customer came,
we were crowded out of the trundle bed, to make
room for the next that was turned out OF the par
ent nest, and 30 they kept alternating for years.
until We were fairly turned out into the world.


iOl where are the little heads, that we have
kissed thousand times DER, as they nestled in
the old trundle bed? Some Of them have grown
old and gray; and others are resting upon their
everlasting pillow in widely separated lands We
are always sad when we think Of the old trundle
bed.
Year: 1869

PowKRo a GROWING TREE-A story has been
going the rounds about filbert tree which grew
up through the hole of milestone, filed it and
Ultimately hoisted it off the ground and wore it
ike rufae around its trunk, although it was five
and half feet in diameter and seveninches thick.
Some are skeptcal about this story, but neyerthe-
less growing trees have great lifting power, as
may be proved by sight any day in the cemetery at
Old Cambridge, Mass, where small tree, which
has apparently sprung from seed enclosed in
heavy stone tomb, has grown through chink be-
tween two stones, lifted the heavy superintendent
masses of stone some inches and pushed stout
iron railing off the perpendicular by the force Of
its growth. It quite curious thing to look at,
and furnishes very decided evidence Of the power
Of patient perseverance on the part Of Nature.
Year: 1869

This was very improper language, but I was an
cry, and, besides, had been reading the Tribune.
Evil communications corrupt good manners


When had got thus far, sweet young grl
who sat opposite me, brought up under my eye
almost from the cradle, and as incapable Of know
ingly telling falsehood as a rosebud would be Of
committing burglary, this innocent and charming
child Of fifteen looked over at me and said: .


'sBut you did say 80, didn't you, Mr. Beecher ?
I heard you''


For moment there was silence. Then came q
crash Of laughter from the whole company. Con-
fused and blushing scarlet, she said:


"Why, always thought that heard you say
it'll" ..'n.~.:.... s
! For the first time I then believed that person
might distinctly remember what never took place
I take back the message to the Buffalo lady, and
humbly spologise for supposing that one could not
recall thing which never happened.
Year: 1869

The Southern hunters tell wonderful stories of
their adventures in the forest I would not care
to vouch for them; but it is proper to remember
that what appears incredible to the man of civiE-
zation seems to be quite probable, and even COM
monplace IN the Western wiids Let us tell sim
gle story, to illustrate some Of their exsggerations,
which was related to circle Of Southern men on
q Mississippi steamer, and did not seem to be
doubted as an authentic incident, by one of them.


The peccary is . creature Of the hog species,
and is utterly fearless It pays no attention to rife
balls unless they hit it, and never hestates to at
tack any one that comes across its path Arelent-,
less war is ragged against it BY Southern hunters,
as much for their own safety as from any love of
the sport It has gained the reputation Of being
the only wild game which the experienced hunters
always run from instead of stopping to fight.


A Texan says that once when he was shooting
in a swamp he killed peccary. This creature
roaus in focks numbering from ten to fAy). In
an instant the whole company turned upon him,
and he at once ran to q tree and sprang into its
branches. One, two, three hours passed, and no
help came. He was separated from his friends,
and did not dare to stir from his position. Getting
'oneasy both in body and mind, he moved q little
to make his seat easier," and losing his balance,
fell. Luckily he dropped his rifle, and caught
hold of lower branch Of the tree and clung to it
for life; with his feet within couple Of yards of
the ''sile." y


''This," he added, twas very okkard, and I
could see the peccaries jumping up to catch hold
of my feet. Fortunately they couldn't reach me,
and I thought was1safe; but only see the cun-
ming of them critters Several of them lay down
on their stomachs and Others on their back, so as
to form platform. The head peoeary got on it,
and jumped, seized me by the heel of my right
boot. kicked at him with my left foot like a
horse and when we were strugglin', the other
peccaries rolled from under him, and left him
hanging on to my heel by his tusks, while his
friends were gruntin' away like mad all round
They made a most dreadful noise and began to
make up my mind that I'd have to fall and try
what rush would do among them, then crack
went rifle, and down went the biggest peccary.
1t took me so by surprise that dropped to the
ground, and saw that my friend had come up
But he was soon in as bad fix as I had been my.
SELF


The peccaries made rush for him and he was
glad to do what I had done-drop his rifle and
hist himself up tree made for my rifle, loaded
it and fired when the pesky things turned on me,
and I had to drop it again and run up tree dou-
BILE quick. Then my friend he came down, took
his rife, and blazed away at them again; they
went at him full pelt; then came down and fired
at them; and We kept on firing turn about, until
you may believe or no, stranger, as you please
we done this fifteen times, and killed the thirty
peccaries between US.


This story with occasional variation was told as
true story of Texan hunters life. Whether it
was true the reader can determine for himself
Year: 1869

VALUABLE ADvIoE-To avoid criticisms Of
your real faults by aoquaintances, the best plan is
to affect some eccentricity. Wear hat without a
rim, ora coat with only one flap; or shave your
beard on one side only; or never cut your hair !;
live on pigs tails and salt, or keep q tame hyena
and you will have throwna tub to the whale which
will prevent his molesting you. It is told Of Al
cibiades, who was rather fast youth, that find
Year: 1869

THE EARLY RISING NUISANCE. do not
desire to be regarded as one who sets bad exam
pie for the rising generation nor do we fully en-
dorse the sentiment of John g. SAKE, that the rea
son Thomson wrote 30 eharmingg about the sea-
SONS was because he did it at "l0 A. NJ, " while
lying in bed but we freely admit that the follow
ing facts, as told by the Saturday Reuieao, meet
our cordial support, and we are fully convinced of
their correctness, Franklin Ito the contrary not
withstanding::" /,


Of course to rise early is virtue of the highest
quality if you want to catch the first railway train,
orif you want to get through certain quantity Of
special work or correspondence before beginning
.le routine of business of the day. Rnt who does
not know creature of the ascetc sort, who will
tell you at nine o'clock, with invincible pharisasm
that he has been up ever since Six, has had. bis
breakfast ever so long ago, and that he cannot en-
dure to lie in bed after sunrise? You ask him
what he has been doing with the three hours which
his heroic fortitude has thus given him. The
chances are that he has been doing nothing except
contemplating, in Brahminie fashion, the beauties
Of his own perfection and comparing them with
the miserable weakness of men who lie abed until
seven or eight o'clock, because they know that
there are still hours enough in the solid day to use
up all their energies On the whole, perhaps, q
man might as well be comfortably recruiting him
self in bed as stalking hither and thither over the
house, round the garden, into the STABLE thinking
all the time how good and great being he is be-
cause he goes infor hair shirts Eating and drink
ing give men of this temper another fine chance,
of which they never refuse to avail themselves, d
donning the hair shirts and the laurel wreath which
they suppose to belong to il.
Year: 1869

THE stoppage Of the annual subsidy from
Spain, in consequence Of the revolution, has
SO crippled the Papal exchequer that the
holy Father is said to mediate a reduction
of his army.