Year: 1869

! lures, portrayed without the aid of sun


power, and throw open the door, announc-


ing free admission to all.
The most forbiddiDg and repulsive are
! first on exhibition, in order that the better


faces and characters may gain BY contrast.
| Then. without apology, first present my
own. But as the best of artists are depen-
| dent on others for the reproduction oftheir
features, so give my own according to
the version of my most intimate friends
In person I am tall, angular and bony,
small grey eyes, hollow, eolorless cheeks,
sharp chin with friendly inclination


noseward, high cheek bones, rather pas
an alarming tendency to gray. fatty re-
fuse to tell what the original color was
These make up the inventory of my per!
sonal charms, and some of the more imper


tinent of my associates sometimes presume
on my good nature, so far as to tell me,
with charming candor, that have a most
repulsive face, and that my moods are as
many and as variable as the colors in
kaleidoscope, for which bitter truth con-
sole myself with the reflection that ''beauty
is but skin deep" in much the same spirit
that prompted the fox TO make faces at the
grapes.


But though Nature was thus unkind in
my physical formation, she gave me clear
sight and keen hearing, also, the power 10
make good use of both, two very essential
requisites in this world.


That do use them truthfully, let all
testify that have ever met that ubiquitous
gentleman with a fiery mustsehe, plaid
pants. nesvy seal ring and light blue
eyes, that we meet at every point. You
pass him in q crowded car in the vain
search for q seat. The idea of offering his
never once crosses his embryo brain. in
fact he rather enjoys your confusion, es-
pecislly if you are 3 woman. If you are
at hotel he is your ''visavis" at the table.
where his loud. coarse tones, and insolent
stare, take away your appetite az complete
ly as your chicken and wafer biscuit should
have done. If you are in waiting room
at depot, momentarily expecting your
husband or brother who is to see you SAFE
ly 90 the train, in walks Mr.. Pomposity
again, ValIse in hand, his person enveloped
in one of those odious waterproof coats
that always were your aversion, and with his
"fall down and worship me air." takes a
cool survey of your person and appoint
ments, then, oblivious to your presence and
the forms of decency, elevates his feet to
the highest possible angle, pufs away at
his abominabIe cigar till you wish, in the
very bottom of your heart, that Satan may
apply him to the same use one day.


There is Miss Superfne, prides herself
on her exclusiveness few indeed are the
favored ones who may enter the charmed
circle of her select acquaintance. What
pencil would dare to portray the silks, vel
vets, jewelry and rare old lace that COM
bine to form her toilet What tongue
would dare dispute her claim to reign su-
preme, an autocrat of fashion What pen
may have the sudacity to proclaim her
knowledge of real work aday-life or that
useful employment, common sense and fa-
mllIaE ud0u0FS HeES uOb 0otIFSiy OUSOI0I6 IN
that circle in which wealth and fashion
constitute the only open sesame. A sole
cism of dress or manners is crime for which
there is no atonement, and if you should
happen to walk down the aisle of a church
with your bonnet slightly awry on your
head, then at ouce resign all claim, now
and forever, to the notice of the exclusives.


Miss SupeFfne has an aunt, Mrs. Purse
proud, who expatiates largely on the ad-
vaDtages of culture and refinement, shows
you through her splendid rooms, taking
care to apprise you of their great cost, not
forgetting the plate and china. that cost
fabulous sum in some far off metropolis,
and you must assume an I-never-sa aw-the-
like-before expression, throw up your
hands, roll up your eyes, and use every
other strictly atistocratic mode of testify
ing your unbounded admiration of her ap-
pointments and herself. When you go to
visit her, be armed with long string of
superlatives. to be used in praising her an
cestry, her highbred air. her absence of af-
fectation, her beneVolence to the poor,
though you know she is the reverse of all
this no matter, she is your fast friend
henceforth. People ike to be fattered for