Year: 1861

| The parson of our parish used to say, in his
hours OF conviyal gsyety, that nothing pnzzles q


man of true delieacy more than hog to make The


first Alliances 10 the ioonlan he loUes Nth bccona


ing propristy Of senttment, language and behavior,


Imust confess an somewhat Of his opinion
| in this matter, and having in my time observed


many promising alliance broken off by mere
/ idle inattention to what even very moderate


share of understanding ought always dictate


those whom it may concern, set down few


easy rules, by the assistance Of which people


may at least prevent themselves from becoming


personally ridiculous, IL they cannot succeed to


the utmost of their wishes in other respects.
I.-When you take serious liking to a


young woman, never discover your passion to
her by way Of letter. 1t will either give the
lady an idea that you are bashful BOBBY, or


that you have not any address in conversation;


both OF which defects are sufficient to ruin you


in the estimation ofany woman of only tolera-


BILE good sense.


u.-Daring the time Of courship, be areful
never TO discourse with the lady upon serious
subjects, or matters that are not strictly, and
Immediately pertinent TO the purpose you are


upon. II she asks you what news, you must


not tell her long story out of the Dutch or


English Gazettes, out Of the decline OF trade,


the fall ofstocks, or the death Of Mynheer Van
der Passum. She looks for no such answers


You must rather relate melancholy tale OF
two young gentlemen Of fortune and handsome
expectations, that have lately drowned them


selves in the Schuylkill, or thrown themselves
headlong from thtir third story windows, and
been dashed to pieces on the pavement, for the
sake ofa certain inc xorable fair one whose name
yon cannot rscolect, but the beauty and shafts
of whose eyes these poor young gentleman could
not possibly withstand Such intelligence as
this will instantly put her into good humor, and
upon the strength Of the lie alone, You will be
allowed liberties with her person that recapiu
lation of all the morality in 1ilotson, or the
real news Of five hundred gazetts, would not so
effectually enable you TO take.


I'LL would advise you never to make use
of the dictoiial style till you are pei fectly sure
our dulcinea; and that period depends in
great measure upon your own prudence. Till
then, you must seem 10 give the preference TO
her judgement in all matters that happen to be
discussed and submit TO be instructed by her
in whatever she apprehends you do not under
stand. Your trade or occupation in lie she
takes for granted, are perfectly acquainted with,
and remember never 10 say word on that
score in hearing unles your calling happens
to have no species of vulgarity about it. Ii,
however, yea are a governor OF an island, or
happen to lie some considerable officer Of State,
you may frequently make professional illusions,
as her vanity will e gratifr thereby; and wo-
men, we know, ale naturally fond OF power.


IV.--Have a care that you do not pestor her
with description of the Alps, Appenines and
the river 10. A lady is not suppo ed 10 know
any thing of fsuch matters; besides, you must be
a very cold lover, ifthose far fetched things can
command your attention moment IN the com
pany ola fine woman Whatever she thinks
proper to assert, it is your business to defend,
and prove to be true. If she says black is aohtte
it is not for men in your probationary situation
10 contradict her. On the contrary, you must
swear and protest that she is right; and, in
it, bevery cautious OF using ped
antic aguments, making nice logical distinctions,
or affecting hard and unint eligible terms.


VI hold it to be extremely dangerous to
make peculiar remarks upon any OF the inferior
parts Of the lady's dress. The head dress, in
deed, custom and female courtesy permits us to
treat with little more freedom, but even this
requires great care and a hice judgment, or you
are sure to Offend Above all things never
mention the words petticoat, garters shoes, in her
pre- ence.


VI.-When you are courting lady, be care
ful never to send her any presents that are very
easily to lie come at, or such as particularly ap
pertain to your own shop or line Of business.


VIi.-lfit can possibly be avoided, never, in
the hours Of courtship let your discourse turn
upon anyt hing relative 60 female anatomy.


Few young ladies can ever forgive the man
that is found guilty of only insinuating in com
pany that the sex have anything to do with
ma eriaity. Whatever, therefore, may be your
private opinion you must, while in their socie-
ty, be an absolute immateiialist in regard to
the rational female world.