Year: 1862

line was scraplng the head oil the Maokerel on


the opposite rail.


40 woman In our hours Of ease
Uncertsin, coy and hard TO please,
And variable as the shade


BY the light quivering aspen made
when pain and anguish wiring the brow,
ministering angel thou


could have remained here all day, my boy.
for / found the berries, ice cream and liquors
prepared for the patients really excellent; but
William binted to me that splendid piece OF
naval strategy was just about to come off on
Duck Lake. and desired to witness our national
triumph on the ocean wave.


Having quilted Strategy Hall, | repaired to
the shore of Duck Lake, where numerous Mack


erels were already watching Commodore Heads
fleet, as it lay watching for an expected rebel


ram on the treacherous element. 1t appeared
that lurking COnfederaoy in Paris had waited
until the Mackerels were all in their holes one


day, and then hastily constructed an iron-plated


ram from an old dry goods box and two cooking
stoves. With this formidable monster he de-
signed Offering irregular opposition to the Gov
ernment, in the way of killing few vandal regi-


ments after which he proposed to repair to the
Confederate side of Duck Lake and send the
particulars of his victory to Europe through


some Of the more vigilantly blockaded Southern
ports. He had completed bis ram, my boy, and


hidden IL under some hay on the lake shore,
ready to commence his carnage when the time


came but one Of the Mackeres happened to see


it when he went ishng and Commodore Head


was at once ordered to have his iron-paed
squadron in readiness to intercept and destroy
the monster when she should appear.


" Riddle my turret y says the Commodore in
his marine manner, as be sighted his swivel gun
and placed bis fishing rod and box OF bait near
his stool on the quarter deck, &" feel like crap.
ping with haf-a-dozen rams of chivalry--loosen
my plates if don't'


And there we stood on that hot July after
noon, watching the noble craft as she sat like q
duck in the water, the Mackerel crew sitting aft
picking marrow bone, and the venerable Com
modore tilted back on his stool upon the quartet
deck, fishing for bass


Presently we could see the treaeherous Con.
federacy stealing down to where his iron plated
monster lay hidden. Softly be removed the COW
erng Of hay, and cautiously did he place the
ram IN the water. carefully examining the prim-
ing Of the old fashioned blunderbuss carried un-
der his arm, as he stepped into this new Merri.
mae, and quietly raising his umbrella with one
hand while he padded off with the other.


The distance between our feet and the spccta-
tors being fully two yards. William had thought
fully provided bits of smoked glass for our party,
and we now brought them TO bear upon the
scene Of approaching slauehter. The Mackerel
crew on board our squadron appeared to be
wholly absorbed in the pleasing experiment Of
following with a straw the motions of fly whose
wings be had just pulled of, and Commodore
Head had fallen into a refreshing sumbcr in the
midst Of his fishing. In fact, no means had been
left unemployed TO guard against surprise.


Now, it happened that the nautical Confede-
racy did his padding with his back to the bow
OF his iron plated monster, and before he knew
it, his ram went smack against the Mackerel
fleet, with sound like the smashing of many
dinner plates. SO tremendous was the shock
that the stool upon which Commodore Head was
tilted, gave way beneath his weight, and came
down upon the deck with crash like mufiled
thnnder. Simultaneously, the Confederacy dis
charged bis blunderhuss two points to Windward.
and would have followed up his advantage by
boarding at once but by this time the Mackerel
crew had recovered his presence of mind, and
poured such shower upon the intruder from
watering pot which he found in the stern sheets
that the latter re;reated in great disorder.


Meanwhile our gallast old naval hero had re-
gained his feet, and having carefully put away
his fishing tackle and box Of bait. he made his
appearance to starbOard, with his spy glass un-
der one arm, his speaking trumpet under the
other, and bis log book between his teeth


No sooner did the now thoroughly exaspcrated
Confederacy behold his venerable figure ihln he
hastily shut up his umbrella, and violently
cracked him over the head with il, knocking of
bis spectacles and greatly damaging his new
white hat.


Batter my armor!" thundered the Commo-
lore, picking up bis sprctacles and bending them
'traight again ." doa't want you 10 do that
gain"


Scorpion ~ roarod the Coniedcracy, drop.
olng his umbrella, and dancing up and down in |
lis ram with his arms in boxing attitude. |
= Come on, base old being ~


"Then take they doom ~ shrielted the mad |
lened Commodore, quickly striking match
lpon the bottom Of one of his boots, and touch |
ng off the swivel gun. With report like the |
explosion of deadly pistol, the trusty weapon
hurled its contents about two inches above the
heads Of the Mackerel crew, wildly tearing off
The cap of one of the latter, and shaking the
staunch craft from stem TO stern.


Somewhat alarmed by this demonstration, the
Jonfederacy commenced showing off with his
ram, using his blundcrbuss and umbrella as oars,
aud singing the Southern Marscillaise


Out with the sculls and give chase I" eacu-
lated Com. Head, in a great perspration. 1t
was found, upon examination. that the sculls had
been left on shore; it was further discovered that
The Mackeral fleet were aground otherwise our
victory would have been more complete.


With eyes strained to the utmost we were
gazing upon this from the beach, when William
suddenly placed hand upon my arm, and says
he e; " Ilark!"


We listened There was sound of faint
human cry. 1t approached nearer. We could
distinguish words. Nearer and nearer The
words now came clear and distinct to our quick
ened ears


"Extry a-Herr-rr-rr-ald, capture of Vickshurg
and sinking Of the rebel ram by Commodore
IIead!"


Since newspapers have become so plentiful in
this once distracted country, my boy, that even
the babe chews them upon its mothers lap, the
poorest man is enabled to see instantaneousy
through a lass as it were, the most distant events
"a glass, my boy, which makes things appear
much larger at a distance than they seem to those
close by.


Yours admringly, OnpHEus G. KERR.