texts: What's that?
labels: It's a pair of earrings.  I saw 'em in the mall one day, and I thought, damn, those would look good on those beautiful earlobes. So I bought 'em.  And I said to myself, next time Erin says something nice, does something nice, I'll surprise her with 'em.  Know how long ago that was?  Six months.  In six months, you haven't said one nice thing to me.  That's a long time.