texts: You know, Louise, you're supposed to be my best friend.  You could at least be a little bit happy for me. You could at least pretend to be slightly happy that for once in my life I have a sexual experience that isn't completely disgusting.
labels: I'm sorry.  I am happy.  I'm very happy for you.  I'm glad you had a good time.  It's about time.  Where is he now?