texts: I'm going to kill myself. </s> <s> Why? </s> <s> Because you think I'm all like... "Hey man, check me out".
labels: No, I don't think you're like, "I'm charming and mysterious in a way that even I don't understand and something about me is crying out for protection from a big man like you".  Very hard to compete with.  Especially to us married women who have lost our mystery.