texts: Well, Amanda, this has been quite a night. So far you've seen me and my dick throw up.  What's next? Projectile diarrhea?  Man. What a stud, huh?
labels: Believe it or not, you still have a way to go before you start competing with my soon-to-be-ex-husband... the champion of lousy lovemaking. The man who thinks he's the biggest and the best... The man who thinks every secretary, stewardess, and cocktail waitress he fucks should lick his feet for the honor. The man for whom faking it was invented. Christ, if I hadn't gotten pregnant with our son, I would have never known I even had sex with the prick.