texts: I've never done this before. </s> <s> How have you dumped girls in the past? </s> <s> Screening calls. Any suggestions?
labels: I knew this guy last summer in the Hamptons. He and his girlfriend at the time were madly in love with each other. But she had this huge weight problem. His friends taunted him mercilessly about it. You know, "How do you breathe when she sits on your face?" "It's embarrassing for you to be seen with her." Finally he couldn't take it anymore and decided to dump her. She flipped and he went on the defensive. I distinctly remember him saying the same thing over and over again. "I'm completely fucked up." "I'm completely fucked up." "I'm completely fucked up."  Poor fatty never had a chance.