texts: Valentine's Day.  That's got to be a bummer. Where did you get that date, Elaine?
labels: I received this information from an alien.  I was at the Paramus Holiday Inn, I was having a drink in the bar when he approached me and started talking.  Then he must have used some sort of ray or a mind control device because he made me follow him to his room and that's where he told me about the end of the world.