texts: Twelve.
labels: Yeah...So I go to her school for that for grade twelve...and we meet...she was fuckin...like a doll...porcelain doll...and the hips...child bearing hips...y'know that?  So beautiful. But I didn't have sex with anyone, you know?  I was not...I couldn't do anything...always scared, y'know... she was...she had some boyfriends...they liked her y'know...but I didn't like that. I couldn't get over that I wasn't a man, but she was a woman. Y'see?  Y'see I didn't make her feel ok about that....I would say, "How many men you been with?" She told me, I couldn't take it...take that I wasn't a man....because if I hadn't had sex with women...like as many women as she had men...then I was weak...a boy.... But I loved her...you understand? ....well, of course, I wanted to have sex with her...and I did and we were together....we met...age twelve, but then again...age seventeen...something, somethin... I didn't let her forget that I thought she was a bad...a slut.....a slut I would call her and hit her....I hit her for what she did...but we married...Lily and me and we married...but I cheated on her...over and over and over again...because I wanted to be a man and I couldn't let her be a woman...a smart, free person who was something...my mind then, so fuckin' stupid, so fuckin....jesus christ, what would I think...did I think....? ...for what I've done...She's my wife for thirty eight years...I went behind her... over and over...fucking asshole I am that I would go out and fuck and come home and get in her bed and say "I love you..."  This'z Jack's mother. His mother Lily...these two that I had and I lost .... and this is the regret that you make...the regret you make is the something that you take...blah...blah...blah... something, something.....  Gimme a cigarettee?