I was asked if I was lost consistently for the 6 months I was in Japan on multiple occasions by multiple people. I shared one occasion because the number of occurrences for my example does not matter. I could see the laughing one mattering a bit more if it occurred regularly, but that is a different example.

Luckily the concept of being lost was shared context for the given example and number of occurrences is irrelevant so long as they don't come multiple times from the same individuals.

>Not only does she feel like she doesn't belong there, she's not even allowed to feel like she doesn't belong there because you know better than she does about how she should feel.

Feelings don't change reality - and yes. I believe that the world should have more positive beliefs in one another than negative beliefs in one another. People get along better when they aren't assuming the worst in one another.

Imagine a scenario where a friend tells you they are too busy with work to go see a new movie with you. Depending on whether you believe them or not - your feelings will differ. They've been busy for weeks! The movie is now out of theaters entirely. Have your feelings changed? Sure. Most people would, at this point, suspect their friend of lying to them. So you feel like shit, you think your friend is avoiding you, and are sad. Other people have tried to convince you that your friend was busy, but you refused to listen to them because your feelings told you otherwise.

Turns out they were simply busy like they claimed to be. But now you're pissy at them for "avoiding you" and refuse to talk to them because you've convinced yourself, contrary to any evidence, that they were lying to you because your feelings told you so.

They feel like they don't belong because they feel like they don't belong. Because they feel like they don't belong they see other peoples' actions as affirming that belief. It's a matter of perspective that they feel this way. So yes, feelings can be wrong and assuming the worst will always result in the worst being visible.

The world needs less negativity - not more.

>This about the assumption that the person you see before you must be lost because they don't belong there.

Statistically true, so it's likely a safe assumption to make that will likely benefit more people than it "harms". The fact it is asked at all shows that it is true more often than not. The same reason why I'm not asked if I want a fork or chopsticks at a Chinese restaurant: more often than not, people request a fork.

Now - I could assume the Chinese restaurant is racist for giving me a fork instead of chopsticks. It's a microaggression against me! Why assume I want a fork? I'm capable of using chopsticks!

But that viewpoint is pessimistic, self-centered, self-victimizing, and feeds negativity into itself. I prefer to shift my perspective: most people ask for forks, so they gave me a fork. I don't give myself a victim-complex, I see how it benefits other people of society (less people have to ask for a fork!), and it's a rather neutral viewpoint to hold that is just as reasonable and probably more likely than the former.

So to answer your question: I don't give a shit for their feelings - because their feelings come from their pre-determined pessimistic viewpoint. They're looking for a negative reasoning behind an action and found it. They got what they were looking for, and just like their truth-telling friend, they believe their friend to be a liar.