Hey OP,

I'm 24, Male and living in a first world country. I've been suffering on/off since I was 15 - so almost 10 years, wow actually. I remember vividly when it started to come over me. At the time, all I wanted in my life at the time was a decent computer to play games. I saved every single penny and once I got the PC - I began getting depressed. Over the last 9 years it has gotten progressively worse. Perhaps the PC was just a coincidence; I really don't know.

Anyway, I have no reason to feel this way - I feel stupid. I feel like; how dare I feel this way when there are so many other people worse off than me. I'm so fucking privileged it would make others sick to their stomach to hear me complain about my feelings. I made it through the education system - even through my masters, and received top grades too (bar my first standard BSc. before I learned how to study properly and game the education system).

I am now employed and on a nice salary for my age (€40k starting, with free health insurance, and bonus). I drive a nice car (inherited). I have a girlfriend of 2 years (she knows - hardest thing I've ever done), and to top it off I know her about 20 years. Yes I know, almost my whole life.

I had my first major breakdown last year. It was actually sparked from a fight with my girlfriend I think. I was doing my masters and started a company on the side. It was a lot to take on, and my girlfriend is full time - if you know what I mean. So I broke.

I saw a counselor (sorry don't know how to spell that one, even being native English speaker), for about 3 months I think it was. I had a very limited budget when I was in university so I could only pay her €10 a week - which was so embarrassing as I pulled up in my 2008 BMW coupe. I felt so ashamed, but she understood my rare circumstance and was very helpful and I am so grateful for what she has done for me.

I was also suffering from an eating disorder at the time. I was borderline standard bulimic - and had full on exercise bulimia (arguably still do). I work out 4 times per week, but love bodybuilding so I guess that's a gray area. I was benching 100kg during my exam periods for my masters, and coding everything for my startup at the same time. Stupid amount of work. No wonder I was fucked.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I do know that you cannot let it get the better of you. I look at what I've achieved while dealing with the issues I have and I know that I am a driven person - no matter what. It may hold me back a bit, but it doesn't define me or change my determination.

Keep on keeping on is such a true statement. I make myself get up out of bed and worry about putting my pants on after. I isolate my thoughts to get through. I just drive to the gym, nothing else. Once I'm there, I just get out of the car, that's it. Before you know it, you are in the gym and you didn't miss another work out. Same goes for the rest of the things you want to accomplish.

My two parents also have alcohol addictions, which obviously doesn't help. My Dad was suicidal when he was my age, and had a brief stay in rehab within a mental hospital. My Mum is recently out of surgery due to years of dietary abuse, but continues to drink daily. I'd say if she went cold turkey - it'd kill her. I don't talk to my parents much anymore since I moved away. I'm OK with that, but I wish it didn't have to be this way.

Keep on keeping on.