Just because you feel like you've nearly drowned doesn't mean you actually came anywhere close to drowning. This is pointed out in the article.

As I read the piece, it sounded like the swim coach was fantastic. Here's what stood out to me:

> The instructor treated me like I was an Olympic swimmer. He smiled and nodded and gave me a thumbs up and said, “You’re getting it! You’re getting it! You just need a little practice in the water, and you’ll be more comfortable.”

> Since I was nowhere near comfortable enough to do that, I had my own set of confidence-building exercises in a lone, separate corner of the pool. One of the lifeguards noticed what was going on and offered to help out. She offered me items like floaters—which the class normally did not use—and kept at me with different small exercises I could try.

(Granted, this isn't entirely the coach. But it's the best situation this guy could have landed in.)

> I realized I was in the middle of nowhere, and panicked. My legs suddenly seemed thrice heavier. I flopped into the water, kept trying to stand because I was tall enough to, but the fins kept slipping beneath me, and I kept striking the water, and trying to stand, and falling and trying to stand, and falling and trying to stand, again and again, drinking water, inhaling it, panicking. After a tortured fifteen seconds—I think, it felt longer—I was able to stand, and I made it, by walking not swimming, shivering and utterly terrified, to the end of the pool from which I had kicked off. “I almost drowned!” I screamed at the instructor, breathing heavily. He laughed and shook his head. “Not even close. No one drowns in my pool. Good job.” Good job…did he really mean that? He seemed to.

> And at the end of it all, I got the swim credit.

> The swim requirement became a thing far behind me, hazy in memory. But sometimes, I go to the Z-Center, and I step into the pool, and swim around.

I've taught a few people to juggle (the standard three-ball pattern), another physical skill, and this struck me as quite similar. Nobody worries that if they mess up while learning to juggle they'll suddenly die. But almost everyone comes into it with their own idea of what failure means, and it has to be stamped out. To a novice, you've failed if you drop the balls. As coach, I can demonstrate the proper throwing technique, describe exactly what's going on, model it in front of them in slow motion as they hold their hands in the correct position, and (almost) everyone still makes the same mistake when they try to throw two balls: they'll throw the first ball, and then quickly hand off the second ball from one hand to the other while the first ball is in the air. That feels right to them, because they don't drop the balls, but it's wrong. You have to throw the second ball upward just like the first one. And so I learned that the right teaching technique is to jump in with effusive praise as soon as they do anything other than quickly hand off the ball to the other hand. Handing off the ball is bad, even if you can keep it going indefinitely. Did you panic and drop the second ball? Excellent. Did you throw the second ball behind yourself? Great work. Did you throw the second ball into the first ball? That's exactly what I was hoping for. All of those things can be fixed, and with practice, they will be.

Sometimes the best thing a coach can say is "great work, that's better than you've done before, keep trying".