I hope they do.

Somehow, a lot of us --maybe a few too many of us, have decided to go both authoritarian and over protective with children.

Given how I grew up, this emerging set of norms is disturbing and depressing.

One thing I noticed among my peers is those who really got sheltered had a number of common and significant problems later in life, and they all centered on both the rebellion stage, and their exit from "the bubble" they grew up in.

Rebelling is common, and for most people, just an ordinary part of coming of age. We get through it, and that's that. For the sheltered kids, particularly those who experienced a very authoritarian up bringing, not only did they rebel, but they often over did it!

I'm convinced they overdo it, because the second aspect of this; namely, the sheltering or "bubble" type upbringing really didn't socialize them well enough to cope with basic human realities and diversity, nor did it expose them to the world, it's real limits and risks, not just the safe ones, or invisible ones they didn't see while in their protective bubbles.

Many ended up OK, somewhat protective still, but many didn't either. And they continue a bad cycle, perhaps trying harder with their own kids.

Some of this comes down to wanting to protect the kids and insure they have all the opportunity possible. Noble, but short sighted, given that same lack of general exposure to the world and social dynamics may well inhibit their ability to exploit those hard won opportunities!

Another contributor is the desire to mold the kids, in a sense, insuring they carry some values and norms the parents find important for their reasons. But nobody really asked the kids, did they?

In fact, a big part of the sheltering is to keep them from asking too!

And that's a crime really.

If some value, religion, norm, whatever really does have merit, should it not stand a basic and rational skepticism? Of course it should.

More importantly, does it make sense to structure how people grow up in ways that deny them the critical mind needed to actually make those choices for their reasons?

There is a lot wrong with this growing norm.

Heck, when I grew up, the rules were really basic. Don't get lost, don't get hurt, don't steal, don't fuck with the animals, etc...

From there, my peers and I would gather in a meeting place, decide on the adventure for the day and have at it! We quickly learned the world is real, and that real things happen to people in it, and we took care of one another, getting through just fine, despite the fact that on many a weekend some of us could very easily have gotten killed, seriously hurt.

We can't do everything for our kids. And I submit we really shouldn't. They need to explore, learn, do, think, play, build, and if they don't, or it's too well managed, that managed experience will clash hard with the real world as they enter it.

And the vast majority of them will enter it too. Better to do so eyes wide open, experiences true, minds potent.

I also think we are going to pay really hard for this folly too. Who cares for us in our old age? Who will be calling the shots some time from now?

They can and should file. More parents should.