You're allowed to state your opinion. You're not allowed to be a smug turd about it. Making the absurd implication that by reading this guy's 72 tweets we're wasting our life and our brain comes across as massively egodouche. Even if this guy was making fart jokes, you wouldn't be justified in the comment you made.

But, as it happens, his jokes aren't fart jokes. They're smart and superbly funny, and I say this as something of a Humor Asshole. You're not the Smart Person Who Reprimands Stupid People in this archetypal Internet conversation. You are the Person Who Doesn't Get It And So Projects His Dislike. You know how there're people online who insist that Shakespeare was a hack writer and people that like him are only pretending? That's who you are in this scenario.

Shitmydadsays is one of two huge Internet joke site loves in my world, along with MLIA. The reason I think it's brilliant is that it does such a good job of communicating who Justin's dad is. He's apathetic, entirely tactless, calls out bullshit when he sees it, and still feels a fondness for his son. Now, it sounds easy in theory to convey those things, but in practice, creating short pieces of dialogue that manages to both be engaging and sounds like a certain character is really, really difficult. Most people aren't capable of doing it and being amusing. Write down the words most people you know speak in a day, and you couldn't make a site like this. I've seen spinoffs. They serve to remind me just how rare it is to find somebody that speaks in a unique voice, particularly one that's also entertaining.

If you feel like it, and I do this morning, you can break down the words he says to understand why people are finding it funny.

"Just pay the parking ticket. Don't be so outraged. You're not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked."

It's fascinating that these tweets set up an entire story. That's hard, too. From these four lines, we know that Justin is upset over a parking ticket. That's the establishment of the scenario, conveyed entirely in the response to his feelings, and in a natural way that doesn't come across as a set-up. You didn't read that and think "What a superficial set-up," because it's not.

The joke's funny for three reasons at once. First off, yes, it's funny that the father's not taking Justin's side, because grouchy old men are funny, especially when they're snapping at youngsters. But that's the absolute surface of the joke. The juxtaposition between the parking ticket and his likening to the civil rights movement is hilarious. Partly that's because the father was old enough to see the civil rights movement and Justin wasn't. Another part is that it also serves to show just how absurd it was that Justin's so mad at the parking ticket. It really doesn't compare to civil rights, does it? So it's such a ridiculous perspective that still manages to have the realism of the father's age.

And finally, there's identification. We've been in situations like this, getting mad at small shit. So Justin's dad's words both make us identify with Justin and make us realize how foolish we were being. There's wisdom in his words that requires his sense of humor to fully work.

You get all that in four sentences. I've seen a lot of passages of Shakespeare's that didn't work so well. And this guy will never be as prolific in his brilliance, that's the genius of the short form. You can focus on the best stuff and eliminate the crap. So these lines fit Twitter perfectly as a medium.

"You worry too much. Eat some bacon... What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon."

The comedic twist, where the father's advice turns out not to be advice, comes across as perfectly deadpan. He's sympathizing with Justin, and offers him food—then turns it around, says it's not going to help him, and gives a more mundane reason for his advice that's hilarious in its own right. (Making too much bacon is a mental image that I find pretty chortle-worthy.) So, again, you get a lot going on in a short timeframe. You also get the dialect coming across ("No, I got no idea") that's subtle but still really fits what he's saying. As I wrote before: It adds a rhythm to the proceedings. I can hear this guy's voice in my head. It convinces me. If, on the other hand, a young twenty-year-old were to say:

"Maybe that's the joke? Like, it's really fucking stupid, everyone knows it, but stands around laughing trying to sucker innocents into laughing as well?"

I read that as overwrought, wordy, and not particularly brilliant of an observation, all respect to you. You could say the same much more quickly and less wound up; as it is, I could use the father's words as dialogue but yours would sound unnatural and a bit boring.

"Son, people will always try and fuck you. Don't waste your life planning for a fucking, just be alert when your pants are down."

This is good advice. I can see an earnest guy rewriting this into an entire For Hacker News post, but here it's said marvelously succinctly. It's not funny. It's smart. And it further creates the character of the father in our minds.

Now, you could argue that Justin's father's swears detract from his humor, but you'd be wrong and kneejerk. Here's why:

"Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."

Consider the impact of the first use of "fucking." If he said "Does anyone your age know how to comb their hair?", then the second line would sound far too much like an attempt at a joke. With that first "fucking" in place, though, his tone is conveyed to us over the Internet. He's being sassy and rude, and so we've established a flow of conversation. That first "fucking" is an essential part of those two sentences; it lets him get away with the incredible image of the second sentence. I've seen two squirrels fucking, and the image of a hairdo that looks like that is priceless.

"A scar ain't 13 god damned stitches. I'll introduce you to men with REAL scars, then we'll all laugh at your fucking 13 stitches together."

Hopefully at this point you're getting into the flow of it. The first sentence establishes he's irate, he provides that little bit of perspective, opens the world to other people, to "men with REAL scars", and then places the perfect punchline of having all those REAL men laughing at his son, which is both funny in the "haha 20-something gets mocked" sense and in the "juxtaposition of real men with real scars still taking the time to laugh at a 20-something" sense. There's something for everybody! Fart joke people get their "fart joke", sophisticates like me get something a bit more delactable.

A good test is to ask yourself: Could Fireland, or Steven Wright, or Emo Philips, or Jack Handey, say those two lines better? I'd bet that in most situations they couldn't improve upon those lines significantly if at all. It's gold from the start.

There you go, mynameishere. You asked why you thought it was funny and I've responded to you in detail. I eagerly await your enlightened counterpoints. Otherwise, let's admit that maybe there's something special about Shitmydadsays, even if you don't see it.