Hello,

I’m not sure I fit into the conversation because although I have lived the last 2 years in exile in order to finish my university (in 3.5 years I might a Pharmacy degree at hand). Let’s say that I was on a mission and it payed back.

I’m not an introvert. In my town there are more people than I could count that would wanna hang out with me. I have a girlfriend, a sports-car, etc.

The things I do when I wanna get “connected” in a totally foreign area are the following:

1. Go to the gym, take some special courses (could dancing classes, or kick-boxing. I’d go for the dancing classes any day of the week). The gym is an excellent way to get fit and meet new people. Go to a popular place, not the one that is closest to your area but always empty. Get there the after-work hours that the gym is full (in Europe that’s 18:00 to 21:00 PM).

2. Get haircuts as much as possible. Like once every three weeks. It’s not so much about the hair, although aesthetics are extremely important too, it’s about becoming friends with the most notable chit-chat in your area. Pick a place which is full of females. Don’t go to a ‘mens place’. These hair-dressers (or whatever they wanna call themselves), like to chit-chat more than anything. Try to open a conversation. If you find the right place, they will open the conversation not you (so it’s easier for introverts).

3. Except from the gym, try outdoor activities. What you’re good at? Hacking? Try to find a local hacker-space. You’re into chess, try to find a chess club. You’re into ballroom dancing, go for it. If you’re not into anything, then try to find something that you’d like to do, and go for it. The easiest way to meet people outside of school/job/university is doing activities together. If you can afford it, learning an instrument is also another extremely good way to get connected :-)

4. Try to be active on social media. Connect with the people you are in the gym (not stalk, just connect). Will help you extremely to have their facebook/twitter account and follow/comment/share.

5. Organize: Once you go out with a friend or two. Try to organize something your self and invite them to join you. Be pro-active (“Do you wanna go to the movies next week guys? There’s this great film!”).

A couple of notes about conversations with people you don’t know:

* Never answer with ‘yes’ or ‘no’. If you do, always come back in a question.
* Try to look the eyes of the person you’re talking too. Makes you look strong and straight character. It also gives you the advantage to read ‘extra signals’.
* At the beginning try not to express a negative opinion about anything (politics, specific tv shows/characters). Try to get the other party to express a definitive opinion. If you don’t agree, let them know but very smoothly and never in absolute ways.
* Try not to move your heads when talking. Avoid grimaces. Let the other’s do them.
* In all this, try to be yourself. Never say or do anything you can’t back-up.
* Try to be funny, but not too much.
* Try not to get early prejudices. Takes time to get to know each other. Things might be different from what the other guy/girl is letting you know.
* Remember to always... SMILE :D

As a last note. Improve your style

The ancient Greeks had a saying that is extremely deep, IMHO. It’s not absolute but goes a long way: “mens sana in corpore sano”. A healthy mind lives in healthy body. But the meaning is not healthy as in 100%-gym fit.

Being fit, stylish and well behaved will give you a head-start as a choice of friend/partner. By stylish I don’t mean expensive clothing, I mean ‘stylish’.
Don’t wear very old shirt if you can get a new (cheap/expensive depends on your financial status) shirt. Treat yourself better and you’ll be treated better. Try never to smell bad. If you smoke for example, try always to clean up your clothes and hair. Make sure you never stink of sweat or anything else. If you can’t get a car, get a second hand vespa for example and paint it, to make it look 'like a new one'. Being stylish (as the Italians know) is not about money it's about ideas.

If you don’t know anything about fashion, gyms, style in general… Well the internet is here to help you. Remember that with a ‘classic’ look you’re always acceptable, don’t take any risks. By being fit I don’t mean an having musces, I mean not being overweight. Being clean (haircut, nails, clean teeth, clean clothes, use a fragrance daily, etc.) is the most important of all things. People would stand next to you if you’re cleaned up, and won’t even if you are their relative if you are not.

Hope you find what you’re looking for quickly :-)

good luck!

ps. Topics like this one mixed with extremely technical make me think that this is the best community, I’ve been part of.