> In what jurisdiction in the US is it a crime to lie to about going to a strip club, whether or not the strip club is the target of an investigation, to someone who has not identified themselves as a police officer?

The answer to this question is "all of them", or, to be painfully specific, "all jurisdictions subject to the federal government".

The code is this one: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/1001

(a) Except as otherwise provided in this section,
whoever, in any matter within the jurisdiction of the
executive, legislative, or judicial branch of the
Government of the United States, knowingly and willfully—

(1) falsifies, conceals, or covers up by any trick,
scheme, or device a material fact;
(2) makes any materially false, fictitious, or fraudulent
statement or representation; or
(3) makes or uses any false writing or document
knowing the same to contain any materially false,
fictitious, or fraudulent statement or entry;

shall be fined under this title, imprisoned not more
than 5 years or, if the offense involves international
or domestic terrorism (as defined in section 2331),
imprisoned not more than 8 years, or both. If the
matter relates to an offense under chapter 109A,
109B, 110, or 117, or section 1591, then the term of
imprisonment imposed under this section shall be not
more than 8 years.

This purports to require material false statements, not just false statements. You can read a subject matter expert's opinion on that here: http://www.popehat.com/2011/03/18/just-a-friendly-reminder-p...

> Though materiality is an element of Section 1001, it's a weak, diluted type of materiality. Statements to the government are deemed material if they are the sort of statements that have the capacity to influence it. Courts have come very close to creating a presumption of materiality by reasoning that if the information were not material the government would not have asked for it and you wouldn't have offered it.

(emphasis original)

The poster child for this sort of thing is Martha Stewart, who was investigated for insider trading, but not charged for it. She was convicted of (according to wikipedia) "conspiracy", obstruction of an agency proceeding, and making false statements under §1001. It is not alleged that, other than lying to investigators, she did anything wrong.

At the charge's wikipedia page ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Making_false_statements ), we can read the following:

> Courts have affirmed §1001 convictions for false statements made to private entities receiving federal funds or subject to federal regulation or supervision.

(emphasis mine)

There is no requirement that you be aware of any information concerning the person you're lying to. There is no requirement that they be employed by the government. There is no requirement that you know an investigation is being conducted. Every time you lie to a person you don't know, you're taking the risk of committing a federal felony. If they purposefully mislead you into doing so... you're just as guilty.

edit:

Concerning your language "whether or not the strip club is the target of an investigation". Obviously, it's not necessary that the strip club be the target. As long as any investigation, whether of the strip club, you, or a third party, is under way, lying about your presence there is a felony. But that's the weak, technically correct way to answer you. What bothers me more is that you don't have to be aware of the investigation. Whether lying is a crime or not is based wholly on facts that you don't and cannot know. This spits in the face of the mens rea concept, to say nothing of the idea "ignorance of the law is no excuse".