Suggestions that you still probably have time to implement if you want to run a smaller/different campaign for Christmas (some are concise reiterations of what people have already said):

* Kickstarter is all about the creator.
While a high production value video certainly has huge impact, it's definitely doable on low budget/equipment, especially at the reasonably small scale you're going for. Just show your darned face, and talk to the camera. Or at the very least get someone who gets your game to voice-over the video. Talk after the initial "hook clip" of the game, and then talk again at the very end asking for backer support. You have the huge advantage of being a developer with a game that's popular and well-liked. Sell yourself, the creator of that!

* The biggest reason it makes sense to show your face is because your passion is expected to shine through. All I see now is some dude whipping up a really low budget side project game, doesn't know how to pitch it, and seems too lazy to take the time to learn, and seems really just out for some free cashmonies from OUYA's FreeTheGames fund by raising a small amount of money for his side project. It feels like you don't want to show your face because you are aware how shoddy this pitch is, and don't want to actually be associated with it ever. You just want the money as easily as possible and disappear for now. I understand basically none of these things are true, and that you actually really need the money, and really care about the project and the campaign.

* You say you have a gameplay video. Please put it immediately after the explanation of the gameplay uniqueness, instead of screenshots that look like Tetris with garbled text beside it. Preferably voice over it too.

* Yes, the music/crowd cheer white noise is damn annoying. Just reduce the volume of the crowd cheer if finding a better background track is impossible. Gameplay is fine eyecandy otherwise.

* Please change the copy. This should really take like an hour of your time, and 10 minutes each from 3-4 of your friends to proofread it. Avoid superlatives (greatest game ever made) and overuse of exclamations, and somehow make your Kickstarter title start with an upper case character. Nothing looks like a teenager IM'd it to me like a lower case starting character for a page title. I know it's the official name of the game, but try rephrase the title so it can start in caps.

* I didn't even want to watch the video. I usually start playing the video to listen to the dialogue, and then skim the page contents as I do that. You assume prior knowledge from the get-go. I've lost interest. I don't even want to share this again out of sympathy for you, because it squanders my social capital sharing stuff I can't even respond to. Which makes me feel terrible, because I really want to see low-budget indies still being able to succeed (as I foresee myself being in your position, but probably with less momentum).

* Your reward tiers are pretty boring, and also super-low value. You need to offer something more interesting than forum access. There's a lack of perceived value here too. Sell the game higher, and make reward tiers with easy (and standard KS fare) things like personalized thank you notes, credits on the website, shoutout in the game credits, etc. People love that stuff, and it's pretty much no extra work for you (notes/tshirts have fulfillment companies that just take a cut of your already-profits).

My background: Coming in as a fresh indie dev, who worked heavily on the successful kickstarter for my fulltime startup as well. I am an avid gamer since I was 6. I primarily play PC games, and have mediocre familiarity with console games. I have not heard of "bob's game," but I was curious enough to look it up.
That's a lot of credibility you have to ride on, don't squander it on a really shoddy pitch.

Edited for grammer