I think someone did this to me (probably to get revenge). There is no history of mental illness in my family, and I showed no signs at all, then I randomly start getting harassed with the same thoughts and the same bad memories over and over again, and I randomly lose all higher cognitive functions stopping my career and my life dead in their tracks. And this all happened right around when I quit a job due to harassment of much the same form. And to top it off, I, at the same time, also lose my ability to get and maintain an erection, and my ability to ejaculate (now nothing comes out). Who are you kidding? And then I realize that supplements, medication, etc (especially ones that previously worked) now have no effect on me whatsoever.

I, against my will, and then out of desperation have tried many many anti-psychotics, and nothing makes this torture go away. And yet all I hear from these people is that I should stay on the medication, that it takes time to find the right combo that works, that this is all in my head, and that I should accept that the shit happening is just a part of who I am.

Everyday more excuses, more runaround, and more bullshit. And now I just sit around watching my life rot away due to all this torture/harassment, and the only thing medication seems to bring are more side-effects (some of these drugs cause depression, suicidal thoughts, etc (the very fucking problems that are to be avoided and the very reason people get put on medication) in addition to the "usual" weight gain, diabetes, tremors, twitches, sleepiness, zombification, restlessness, loss of higher cognitive function, etc). This is the biggest bag of bullshit I have ever seen. And then they try to use the medication working for one or a few people to justify forcing everyone else to go through this hell.

The hell only begins with the torture. The medication steps in and makes it worse, then the idiots forcing the medication onto me and everyone around me step in to drive the final nail into the coffin. I'm surrounded by a group of people who fully intend on seeing me driven mad and who seem willing to die trying to make me just another run-of-the-mill human being. But it's not that, it's that "they are here for me, and want to see me do my best." Oh please. Any talent or potential of mine must be destroyed, and everyday there's another excuse.

Take the medication, take the medication, take the medication, take the medication, take the medication, take the medication. All I hear chanted, all day long.

They don't care that the medication doesn't work, they don't care that it doesn't help me, they don't care that there are side-effects, they just care that I keep taking it, and that I sit and waste my life away, and that I blindly and continuously do as I'm told. That is their obsession, getting me to do as I'm told. And they care about nothing else. And sometimes it's almost like they get off on saying that what's happening to me is who I am, and that no one is doing this to me but me. I'm am absolutely shocked that psychiatrists say this garbage to their patients. Why would you want the patient to accept this torturous existence, then just sit there in it? Why waste their time, and waste/end their life with medication that is as ineffective as it is side-effect ridden? I'm always left speechless.

By the way, people always approach the side-effects of these medications as though they present themselves while the medication works to relieve symptoms of the illness, but this is stupid. In most cases, the medication prescribed does nothing to help with the symptoms, and instead just brings side-effects which makes life even more unbearable. And then there is the stupidity, depression, and suicidal thoughts that come as a result of some medications, but "it's not the medication, it's the illness."

What a joke.