> This 404 page is part of the culture that feeds into this.

The 404 page is a picture of a guy with makeup on and wearing a dress. This could be a picture of a transwoman, or a gay man in drag; would it still be feeding into a culture of transphobia? How could you tell without knowing the context of the picture?

If you know Richard Branson, you know he is a straight cisman. So him dressing in drag becomes confusing. Why could he be doing this? Is it wrong for him to dress in drag for any reason at all? Are there some acceptable reasons why a straight cisman can dress in drag? If so, what are those reasons, and who gets to decide?

You might say that people who would get offended by him would be the ones to make this decision. For example, black people get to decide that white people can't say the N word and that they can't dress in blackface, because it's offensive to them. And we all accept that.

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But why would someone dress up in blackface, or say the N word? Would it be to make fun of black people? Perhaps someone wants to appropriate a culture different than theirs, or re-enact some historical figure. Or perhaps they're just racist.

And why would a straight cisman dress up as a woman? Is it to make some point about gender inequality, or to show solidarity with transwomen, or to re-enact some popular historical figure/singer? Maybe they found it thrilling to challenge their own and others' expectations of their own gender expression? Or are they just sexist/misogynist or transphobic?

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You have experienced discrimination because people don't like who you are. It's not your gender presentation they hate, because these men (i'm betting it's all men) like females that present female. What they hate is the confusing and uncomfortable feeling of something they can't understand. It challenges their idea of what a woman is.

They are attracted to ciswomen, and everything in their head tells them they should never be attracted to males. So when a male dresses as a woman, it creates a conflict they can't resolve. So they lash out in order to resolve their internal conflict; it proves to themselves that they don't actually find a male attractive. This is of course part of the basis for transphobia/cissexism.

And so what should we do to fix this? Should we make solid lines where cisfolk can not deviate from their expected gender norms, and transfolk can not deviate from their expected norms, and force everyone to accept people in only their preferred gender presentation? Should we prevent anyone from ridiculing anyone else, or perhaps just prevent the majority from ridiculing the minority? What's fair, and what's acceptable, and who gets to decide?

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Perhaps there's a better way. Perhaps we can educate people to understand their fellow human being. Perhaps we can educate people to understand themselves. And where does this education happen? In the schools? At work? In the streets? At home?

Really, we need it all. We all need to help each other learn. We need to help people understand that how someone dresses or who they like doesn't affect anyone but them; that they're doing no harm, and should be allowed to live their lives however they want, regardless of what you think of it or them.

The gay community is really starting to get there now that gay marriage is becoming more popular. Hopefully in my generation, politicians will no longer be ashamed to be gay, and will come out and proudly support their country as gay elected representatives. And then hopefully transpeople, queer, neutrois, etc will do the same.

It's a long, difficult, uphill slog through our cultural and emotional baggage until we get there. I don't think shaming someone for dressing in drag is going to push us up that hill. But continuing to tell your story, and continuing to educate people, will inch us closer. I say we should all become more educated, and educate each other, and be compassionate and empathetic even to those that would rather hate than appreciate. Because I think the only thing that's going to create positive change is positive action.

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Thank you for being yourself, and being courageous, and getting through our shitshow of a culture. Thank you for making a small difference towards helping other people like yourself - one day - no longer be victims of this kind of abuse.