Heatoe's Fourth Article Published.

Title: You Found A Condom In Your Daughter’s Purse? What “Harm Reduction”?

Mother, suppose you found a condom in your teen-aged daughter’s purse? How would you feel? What would you say? What would you do?
It is likely that you would be shocked to find evidence that your daughter is, or at least is prepared to be, sexually active. You would worry. You would be concerned about your daughter’s reputation. But more than anything, you would be worried about her safety. There are many dangers lurking for sexually active teen-age girls.
But as a mother you will probably have already sensed that your daughter was at least thinking about sex. And if you found a condom in her purse, beyond feeling shocked, you might feel some relief. You will have learned that your daughter is proactive in protecting herself. Because of all the dangers out there for sexually active young people, the most important are the risk of unwanted pregnancy, and the risk of sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs), especially AIDS or HIV.
Maybe the fact that your daughter is carrying a condom will start you worrying about what kind of friends she has. But if your daughters friends worry you, isn’t that all the more reason that she should protect herself by carrying a condom?
Modern public health thinking is guided by the principle of “harm reduction”. The idea is to reduce the harm that comes from behaviors which are inherently risky, even those which are viewed by many as immoral, or which are even illegal. The behaviors include use of alcohol or recreational drugs, patronizing prostitutes, and engaging in pre-marital (or extra-marital) sex. Where some people draw on teachings of morality and try to ban or prohibit those behaviors, people who are guided by the principle of harm reduction try above all to protect our children, our friends, and others from harm. Those who believe in harm reduction are just as moral as those who want to ban what they see as bad behavior. But the principle of harm reduction is based partly on a recognition that attempts at prohibition often don’t work at all.
“Abstinence only” and “Just say no” campaigns have been unsuccessful. Harm reduction programs work.
Would you tell your daughter, “Don’t carry a condom. I forbid you to to carry a condom”? That idea is frightening, isn’t it? You wouldn’t really say that. You wouldn’t deny her protection. Maybe the only thing worse than the thought of your daughter carrying a condom is the thought of her needing a condom and not having one.
Instead, you should sit and talk to your daughter about the dangers of sexual activity, especially of promiscuity. You should talk to her about her life and about her friends. You should advise her. But you would not expose her to risk. You would not deny her harm reduction.
If the condom in your daughter’s purse is conspicuous, perhaps you should tell her to make it less visible, possibly by using a condom compact. Another form of harm reduction is to avoid embarrassment and a possible bad reputation by concealing one’s condoms in a condom compact.
Maybe it’s time that you, her mother, should start thinking about carrying a condom too. Protect yourself. You can’t always rely on others to do it for you.