> Can you please give some tips on how to do this?

I used to think I was being clever by hovering next to groups when I didn't know anyone - close but not too close so it would seem like I was with that group. Not so - you just look like a wallflower.

It's not something you need to learn. It's something everyone can do. Unfortunately, it is all about commitment. By hovering, you are not committing. You have to be willing to interrupt the group/sidetrack them (although it is better to start side conversations inside the group then to completely derail it).

It is quite a rush/good feeling to be able to approach a group of strangers.

The basic concept is of leadership. If you approach a group of people and just kind of stand there, you're playing a passive role/not taking ownership of the situation. You're leaving it up to the other person to do something - and since they're in the group - they can easily do nothing/blow you off. Believe me, I think one of the most uncomfortable feelings is hovering around groups and knowing that the people in the group know you are hovering.

So, when you have the courage (note I'm not saying confidence - confidence sometimes implies you feel good before you do something whereas with courage you feel the fear and do it anyway) to approach a group - pick a specific person to engage. There is always someone who is momentarily left out of a group - for example, someone might start texting or looking around the room - go to them - pick them to engage. If you can engage them in conversation, you've got an in. And, if you pull more people in the proximity of you who are in the group into that conversation, you start to divide and conquer.

However, if you don't engage them properly and the group kind of stalls [e.g. proverbial music stops playing] - what you have to do is even more courage-taking - introduce yourself to each person calmly but quickly with brief eye contact. In every group, there will be someone who will ask you a question to interrupt you - whatever you do - do not answer the question - if you do - you've lost (e.g. shown that you weren't committed to introducing yourself to everyone). But don't ignore them, tell them that's a good question (whatever it was - even if it was something like - 'what do you want?!') and go on to the next person. If you do this right, you will effectively control the group by interrupting whatever it was they were talking about and making you the focus. The key, once you've done this, is to put the focus back on the group, engage them - get other people talking. By focusing on other people, even just one, you're engaging the principle of reciprocity (e.g. he's paying attention to me, maybe I could pay attention to him).

We all know that it's so easy to meet people through friends (because we're all pre-vetted right?). A good exercise to work on anxiety talking with strangers (which we all have) is to talk to someone at a retail store [ideally opposite sex] and try to get the conversation out of the standard customer-clerk role [e.g. make it personal - ask them why they cut their hair that way].

Actually, one of the best ways to practice what I call social skydiving (I read this term somewhere - very fitting) is to go to a networking event of the type described in the NYT article.

> The friend just smiled at me and nodded and didn't do much else.

The friend could have easily smoothed it for you with a 'X, this is my friend Y.' But don't fault him - he was probably not feeling much like he was part of that "group".

If I were in your situation, after that happened, I would have left the scene momentarily - then gone back in a couple minutes and basically hug the friend and/or put my arm around the friend (yes, its awkward) and then introduce myself. By leaving, you can sometimes reboot the situation enough so an initial bad impression doesn't matter.