I know many women who don't find rape amusing.

So what? How is that sexist? I know many black Americans who don't find slavery amusing, does that make the comic racist too? Of course not, because the comic contains absolutely nothing in the way of allusions to race from any conceivable interpretation, the same is true of sex.

Most ugly rape jokes that I've seen (popular rape jokes? anyway...) are made by men.

Most popular comedians are men, whether you chalk that up to a sexist society or not, an individual's joke doesn't become sexist just because the joke is mostly made by men, I think it's pretty obvious that all sorts of clearly non-sexist jokes fall into the category of "mostly made by men". I think, at a minimum, the intellectually honest way to judge a joke as sexist is if it's made at the expense of an individuals's sex (or at least makes any mention of or allusion to sex without consideration for women as a protected class). Anyone can be raped, in fact, male prisoners being raped (as is the case in the comic) is a very common trope. The comic is just not sexist at all, period. Also, what's with the "ugly" qualifier? Are some "rape jokes" ugly and others not?

some of Penny Arcade's own fans said, "Hey guys, can you not make light of the fact that some people actually are raped to sleep every night?" And in the face of those revelations by real people they decided to have a laugh.

That's pretty a revisionist version of events. A shit-storm of vitriol (on both sides) erupted over this comic, PA wasn't given a kind suggestion by the community, they were flamed as sexist rape culture purveyors straight out of the gate, they reacted by doubling down in defense of the comic, indeed poorly, but with earnest belief in the intellectual honesty of their argument: nothing is wrong with the comic.

Additionally, the content itself matters less than its audience's reactions.

That makes zero sense. Facts matter, especially when people are whipped up into a frenzy over the supposed nature of the facts.

This isn't some lunatic fringe pulling meaning out of nowhere

The segment of the audience who didn't favor the comic are not a lunatic fringe, they're just totally wrong about the comic by all objective measure. They were pulling meaning out of nowhere because we've already established that the comic in no way alludes to violence against women, period. The critics don't own the word rape.

Which Krahulik himself does not: http://www.penny-arcade.com/2013/09/04/some-clarification
> I regret the follow up strip, I regret making the merchandise, I regret pulling the merchandise and I regret being such an asshole on twitter to people who were upset.

Yes, he regrets all those things (except the original comic), that doesn't mean he agrees with the critics (he clearly doesn't).

When you say Women are not made unsafe by the selling of t-shirts based on the comic it tells me that you don't know what it is to feel unsafe or be a woman.

That's a considerably presumptuous and condescending statement. You'd feel pretty stupid right now if I told you that I actually was a woman (i'm not), but just because I hold certain beliefs (i.e. "don't be a dickwolf" printed on a t-shirt is not threatening) you presume that I couldn't possibly know what it's like to be a woman because of course we should reasonably expect that a normal woman would feel threatened by a passive line of text ironed onto a shirt. I mean, look at the first comment on the article, a female rape survivor who gasp doesn't read any threatening connotation into dickwolves.

Once again, women are not made unsafe by the t-shirt. Wearing a t-shirt doesn't make one a rapist, it doesn't encourage rape, it doesn't support rape, neither the shirt nor the comic depict an assault of any kind, and women in particular have a dubious relationship to the comic in any capacity (since it was a white male prisoner who alluded to being raped by a Dickwolf)

I've read a lot of first-hand accounts of women saying they felt unsafe in a crowd of men cheering for rape.

Yes, a crowd of men cheering for rape would be quite scary... except that never actually happened and you completely undermine your credibility when you repeat such falsehoods as truth. They cheered because they support the artist, the comic, and the perceived push-back against capitulation to pressure that pulling the merch represented. To say that those men cheered for rape is about as dishonest as it gets and it's that type of rhetoric that sends otherwise open-minded men into defense mode.

Anyway. Agree to disagree. Glad we kept it civil :).